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lynxgriffin · 1 year

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Theories on Kris’s soul and Ralsei’s identity

Hey everyone! This is not my usual thing, but after thinking on it a whole bunch, I decided I wanted to fully write out my theory/backstory explanations based on the last two short Deltarune comics. I usually express theorizing through fanworks rather than just talking through it, but since it's still stuck in my brain even now I figured it'd be fun to also just describe it all. I hope you all find it interesting! Who knows what future chapters will bring us, and anything can (and likely will!) happen, but as of right now I'm pretty convinced this is how things are with Kris and Ralsei. It's long and there's lots of screenshots included, so check below the read more for everything. And huge thanks to DemoPhone for getting all these screenshots for me!

So, Kris is adopted by the Dreemurrs at a young age. As the only human in a town populated by monsters, they already stick out significantly. Considering Toriel checked out a book from the library on how to care for humans multiple times, the Dreemurrs were likely going through a big learning curve with Kris, too.

Kris is not just different physiologically from everyone, but they’re quiet and weird, often mischievous, and just don’t fit in. As a kid, they wear a headband with red devil horns to try and fit in with their adoptive family, and especially to emulate their older brother Asriel, who seems to be everything that Kris isn’t.

He’s popular, kind, well-loved by the town, and is always willing to make friends and do the right thing. Despite how different they are, the two kids clearly care for each other, and Asriel in many ways is Kris’s anchor to this town and this life.

Growing up, the Dreemurrs are friends with the Holidays, and the four kids spend lots of time together. Dess appears to be the more bold and outgoing of the two Holiday girls, but is tempered by Asriel’s responsible nature. Everything between them is going well until one day, when out exploring in the woods south of town, they come across the hidden bunker, and something goes wrong. It’s not clear yet exactly what it is…but it resulted in Dess going missing. Of the four kids, Dess seems to be bold, Asriel responsible, Kris mischievous, and Noelle fearful…so it seems likely that Dess and Kris investigated something in the bunker that the other two stayed away from. Kris witnessed or may have even been involved in what happened to Dess. Dess currently appears to be lost in a dark place, perhaps a place between Dark Worlds, perhaps “stuck in the code” of the game itself. Whatever it is, Dess has gone missing and may even be presumed dead by her family, and Kris witnessed it and may feel directly responsible. This is why they’re still nervous around the bunker, and perhaps even why they’re apprehensive about the appearance of the dark world in the school supply closet.

Dess’s mother, the Mayor, is not going to blame the little kids for what happened…however, she IS going to place responsibility on Asgore, who was chief of police at the time and clearly should have been watching the kids more carefully. Asgore loses his job, and as things slowly deteriorate between the Holiday and Dreemurr families, he also loses his marriage.

The kids stop hanging out together so often, and when they do, it’s more strained. Kris will be playing with Noelle when they stop, getting hit with the memory of what happened, and wander off to the piano to try and play out their feelings.

Kris builds up years of these feelings…underlying guilt for messing up the friendships and even marriages of the monsters that adopted them. Their interests are weird, their habits are offputting, and they can often only express a desire for attention through pranks.

Despite the fact that the monsters in the town act friendly towards them, they still feel outcast and misunderstood. Their popular and beloved brother Asriel is their one solid anchor to everything, and Kris often wonders “wouldn’t things be easier and better if I was just like him?”

But eventually, Asriel gets old enough and leaves for college. Kris is left alone in the town with all their feelings, but no anchor. In some ways, it gets worse, as the other townsfolk continue to talk about how great Asriel is with him absent. And Kris agrees with them…but that doesn’t help at all how they feel.

To top it off, a new girl arrives in the town, who immediately presents herself as a troublemaker. She seems to have some deep problems of her own, perhaps stemming from her own rough upbringing, and takes out her aggression on Kris, the only human in the town. Despite the bullying, Kris takes it all in stride, even amusement. Susie isn’t saying anything about them that Kris doesn’t already believe about themself. If anything, Kris admires how unapologetic Susie is about her behavior, and sees a kindred spirit in her. They’re both outcasts, after all, with gross and offputting interests. And it is pretty funny how clearly Noelle is infatuated with Susie, too.

And yet, Susie doesn’t seem interested in actually being friends now, and while Susie is admirable, she’s not helping Kris’s long-standing guilt, loneliness and depression. They start resenting how things have gone. They start looking for unconventional solutions. Perhaps they try the church, but the church doesn’t seem to have answers, so they look elsewhere. Maybe things would just be better if someone else was running their life. Maybe someone bigger than them can fix these seemingly insurmountable problems. They start looking up how to do magic online. How to summon demons, stuff like that.

When that doesn’t work out, they turn to the local goth girl for help. After all, they’ve done occult spells with Catti before…protection spells for Noelle; something to ease Kris’s worries so that Noelle doesn’t suffer from the same misfortune Dess did.

One night, Kris asks Catti to perform a spell to summon a spirit. And surprisingly…something seems to happen. Kris is suddenly confronted with a strange figure who seems to be the devil. The figure says that it can bring Kris what they want: a spirit that can possess them and potentially even solve all their problems. But the figure requires something in exchange: their soul. Kris is at first reluctant, but the devil figure promises that the arrangement is only temporary: they’ll get their soul back when the spirit is no longer possessing them. So Kris agrees, and gives up their soul in exchange for another one.

The deal supposedly goes over, but Kris finds that it doesn’t seem like anything has changed once the spell ends. They’ve gotten a new soul, but it doesn’t seem to do anything. If anything, everything becomes harder. They start operating on autopilot…saying very little, only doing what’s required of them, and sleeping for huge amounts of time.

The joke around town now is that they seem like a walking corpse. Sure, they’re not dead, but it often kind of looks like it.

Maybe this spirit was just a total dud? Maybe that devil cheated them out of their own soul after all and they didn’t get anything in return. They try more than a few times to remove the new soul on their own, in the hopes that maybe taking it out by force will get them their own soul back. They find that they can remove the red soul with great effort! However, without it, they’re even slower and it’s even more difficult to move or act in any way. Removing it at least grants them a small degree of agency, and it seems to prove that their own soul is definitely around somewhere, because they’re still alive. But they can’t go for too long without putting the new red soul back in, because moving without it is such a strain.

Meanwhile, Kris’s request for something to possess them has worked, just not in an obvious way. The player experiences the passage of time very differently than the game characters they’re playing as, after all. To the player, they’ve suddenly gotten an invitation from an unknown character that they suspect they recognize from another game they’ve played. They don’t know what the invitation is for, but they’re more than ready to find out, even if it means downloading an unknown and potentially shady “survey program.”

Conveniently enough, this invitation and download become available on Halloween. A bit of an odd day to choose if you want a lot of people to download and play your game right away, since it’s a major holiday and most people already have plans. However…Halloween is a great time to summon a demon.

And to Kris, they wake up one morning exactly a week before their brother is scheduled to return home for a visit, and suddenly find that something else is moving their body for them. That new soul wasn’t a dud after all.

No time to even get really used to suddenly being physically possessed, as Kris and that school bully they admire just go to pick up some missing school supplies and get swept up into a strange place that Kris feels might be distinctly familiar. Once there, they meet someone else who, strangely, already knows who they are: Ralsei.

While Kris has been shambling around town with their player soul not in use, their own soul still needs to be kept in good condition. You can’t just leave a human soul out on its own for a long period of time. It at least needs some kind of container…a vessel. And the devil figure works out a perfect vessel for it…an object close to Kris, that they have a lot of sentimental value around. Something that symbolizes their desire to fit in with their family, and be just like their brother. Kris might have given it to the figure willingly, or it might have been taken without their knowledge, but the result is the same.

But hey…why not make things even more interesting? A dark fountain can bring objects to life in their own dark world. What happens if you were to take an object currently carrying a human soul, and bring it to life with a dark fountain? What would it look like if Kris’s soul, filtered through an object that symbolizes their desire to be just like their beloved brother, was given its own form and identity?

You get Ralsei. A “lonely prince” who looks an awful lot like Asriel, but seems to more closely match Kris’s age and stature. He seems to be more like a remixed version of Asriel than identical to him. He already knows who Kris and Susie are, and he knows where things are located in the light world…because Kris knows all that.

He’s able to travel between different dark worlds without being affected by them the way other Darkners are, because he carries a Lightner’s soul.

While it’s unclear if he is talking directly to the player, just to Kris, or to both, he is at least aware of an entity distinct from Kris, since he names the castle town after the player. It would certainly make sense for him to be aware of the player’s presence and influence because he was a part of that whole exchange between souls in the first place. There’s even implications that Ralsei is, perhaps, communicating with Kris in ways that don’t involve speaking aloud to them. When asking Kris to pick up the items from the classroom, he uses parentheses, which typically seem to indicate a character’s thoughts rather than dialogue.

Since the player is able to read other characters’ thoughts, Kris can even respond to them if no one is speaking.

If parentheses for Ralsei indicate thinking rather than speaking, he is perhaps aware of how to communicate with Kris and/or the player in ways that other characters won’t hear…or perhaps is only even capable of it at all because he has Kris’s soul.

He is always deferring to Kris, even when Kris makes questionable choices. While he’s eager for friends, he seems desperate for Kris’s approval in particular, and takes great pains to not upset them…or allow other things to upset them. He seems to be confident in who Kris is, but struggles more with his own identity.

For Kris, seeing their own wish to be like their brother come to life, and then to have the spirit possessing them keep directing them to hug him…well, it’s kind of awkward.

Just to speculate on the future, if it is true that Ralsei has Kris’s soul, this has the potential for some serious drama, and even setting Ralsei up as an antagonist without him being generically “evil.” Ralsei hasn’t had contact with anyone before meeting Susie and Kris. However, as they go on adventures together, he’s meeting lots of new people and gaining new perspectives. He’s steadily growing more independent from Kris, and establishing his own identity apart from them. What happens if Ralsei comes to the conclusion that Kris was right to trade him away all along…that not only does Kris not need him, but that he’s just fine without Kris? That he, perhaps, prefers being Ralsei to being Kris’s discarded soul?

Considering the player can’t keep playing the game forever, and Kris really can’t be left the rest of their life with a nonfunctional soul that leaves them on eternal autopilot, they’ll have to get their own soul back eventually. And after several chapters of the player themselves getting really attached to sweet and friendly Ralsei, that opens up the potential for some truly heartwrenching conflict.

#deltarune #deltarune theorizing #kris #ralsei #red soul #and a lot more references and such #haha somehow I'm more nervous about this than I am usually posting comics!!#I hope it all makes sense!#I think there's even other theories that can branch off from this #but they're even more speculative #I guess we'll see eventually!!

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melody22222 · 8 months

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Hi sweet, hope you doing well.

Can i request a yandere ceo x secretary reader, she is too shy and people wonder how she even get this job but they also notice the favor that they cold boss give to her.

Safe with me

Male Yandere CEO x Secretary Fem!reader

A/N: I know... I took so long and IM SORRY-

Summary: Your boss been having a hidden plan and wanted to keep it that way but after an incident board meeting with new clients, it seems like he have to take matters in his own hands with you quickly. (SUCH A GOOFY SUMMARY ISTG OMG...)

Word count: 7.1k (Kill me, NOW.)

---

You opened the door to his elegant, opulent office that has been taking up the place because of his strong cologne that hit your nostrils the moment you stepped in. You saw him taking his coat off and walking towards the hanger.

“Good morning, Mr. Waldorf.” You said with a sheepish smile on your face, awkwardly standing near the door as you left it ajar

“Well well, if it isn’t my favorite employee,” He said with a straight face but a twinkle in his eye, giving you a quick nod as he hung his coat. “As well as my personal assistant.” He added. You watch him walk to his chair, settling into his desk.

Your smile grew wide at his remark, feeling a mix of pride and validation.

You walked closer to his front desk. “Thank you, Mr. Wald-”

He cuts you off, “Didn't we talk about distorting names?” He looked up at you. “I’ve already told you, Rhys is perfectly fine.”

You fell silent, locking eyes with him.

“Um, Rhys, yes. Of course, I apologize.”

Rhys tilt nodded coldly in return and opened his drawers. You glanced at your little notebook schedule that’s for him. “Umm, Spencer wants to meet for drinks with you at Thyme Bar.”

“When?”

“After six.”

“Negative, cancel it.” He spoke with the same robotic voice, not looking up to you while busy getting his files on his desk from the drawers.

“And what should I say?”

“Just say no.”

“Just say no…?” You said with a hint of fear in your voice but you still decided to write down in the notebook with your pen on what he demanded. Your mind begins to flash off how scared you are at confronting the man ‘Spencer’ on the phone, unsure of what to say to him. A ‘no’ was not enough for you.

Actually, you were unsure of everything that happened. You still don’t know how you ended up here, being a secretary to such a luxurious CEO man. Before, you were just a little receptionist behind a desk that nobody cared or noticed. Of course, it wasn’t such a surprise due to the chaotic atmosphere.

It really is such a massive, well-known company.

Your plan was just being a receptionist but when, on your first day, bumping into the man who’s now you’re working for as a secretary, everything changed.

Behind his eyes when he first laid them on you, spoke everything to him.

You could see a spark in his eyes but he still held his professionalism. The way he talked to you made you notice the man’s stern demeanor, which instantly kept you on edge. Every second of him talking, the more nervous you grew.

But what kept you more on edge is that him coming to you after weeks, offering you the position. It was unexpected and you were immediately shocked. You hesitated for a moment, telling him you had to think about it.

You actually wanted to decline the offer. The thought of the added stress and your lack of rapport with Rhys made it clear. However, your heart sank when you found out the receptionist position had already been filled before your arrival.

A lost and confused expression fell on your face when you saw them moving your stuff before the big news that you in fact, did not recall.

—

“Um, excuse me. Hi, can you tell me what's going on here?

“Are you Y/n L/n?”

“Yes…?”

“The boss, Mr. Waldorf, ordered us to move some things on the last floor, your things. Aren’t you his secretary now?

“What- Well, that’s my desk. I’m not his secretary. I think you perhaps misunderstood the boss?”

“Nope, I understood the boss pretty well. These are your things, and I think you need to rethink again. Because you indeed are his secretary now, you agreed to that to yourself yesterday.”

—

“Mr. Waldorf, What?”

“Please, just call me Rhys. And what? Is something wrong? Olivia mentioned to me that you had accepted the job placement I offered. We even went ahead and already hired a man for the receptionist job since you are taking the secretary position.

“What… I mean, You- you are right. I informed Olivia this morning to tell you. I just didn't realize you had already hired someone this quickly.”

—

Rhys flashed an innocent smile when you said that, but there was something lurking behind it. It seemed like he had a hidden agenda, a plan, and it had worked. You decided to suck it up and think that this was your fate. You had no choice but to accept it, otherwise where would you go?

—

After lying to his straight face, you somehow ended up here in his exquisite looking office, accepting your fate.

“Well, Y/n. No reservations today, just bring me the report that I asked for and my coffee.” He coldly commanded, his tone devoid of warmth.

“Yes, sir.” You awkwardly nodded.

You walked out from his office, directly going to the break room in order to get what he asked for. After a few moments, you returned to his office, a steaming cup of coffee held carefully in your hand, while the other hand grasped firmly the prepared paper report.

Carefully, you walked straight towards his desk when a tragedy happened.

You took a misstep and accidentally stumbled forward, causing the coffee cup to slip from your grasp and spill all over his desk, drenching his expensive pants in the process.

You let out a big gasp as your heart sank, “Oh my god, Rhys, I’m so so sorry.” You exclaimed.

Quickly, you rushed to his side with a flurry of tissues in hand that you took from the tissue box on the desk. You bent down, feverishly trying to clean up the mess you made. You didn’t pay attention to the man in front of you that’s trying to get your attention as you repeatedly apologized.

“Y/n, Y/n, Y/n!” He urgently called your name, seeing it no use, he tightly grabbed both sides of your shoulders with his hands. You froze, looking up at his gaze with your widened eyes. The tissues now soaked with coffee, making small drops drip down and land on his pants but he didn’t seem to care.

“Y/n, it’s okay.” He caressed your cheek that made you slightly flinch.”It’s okay, it’s no big deal. Calm down.”

Uncontrollable heavy breaths came out from your chest, looking at him with fear in your eyes that he immediately noticed. “It’s okay.” He assured you again. He patiently lets you slowly relax, and your heavy breaths started to go away.

“I’m so sorry, sir.” You said, in more of a calm but still worried tone this time.

Unexpectedly, he leaned closer to your face and planted a soft kiss on your cheek that caused you to slightly gasp at his sudden affection.

“I’m not mad, and you don’t have to clean up anything, just leave it up to me.”

“But sir no, I made the mess. I have to clean it up.” You mumbled.

“Absolutely not.”

“But sir-”

“I said no.”

You tensed up at his becoming cold tone. You nodded and turned away, heading to the door to call the janitor.

“Oh, and Y/n.” He stopped you.

You turned to face him, “Yes?”

“We have a meeting to attend to after 20 minutes with the new clients, don’t forget to prepare the boardroom.”

“Of course, sir.” And you head out.

—

You sat on your chair, hands trembling with fear. A meeting? Prepare the boardroom? Clients? This was your first time going to a meeting, and you have no idea what to do. Regrets washing over you for taking this position. You knew it wasn’t meant for you.

But an idea popped in your mind, making you stand up and head out of your small office. You walked towards an office door and opened it, it was one of your coworkers' offices.

“Georgina, I need your help.”

Georgina was the only person you befriended. On your first day, she trained you in the basics - taking phone calls, jotting down dates and messages, all the easy stuff. Not to mention how much she rambles about how the CEO is a stuck up ass. Although your workload made it hard to engage in conversation, but right now she was the only one you needed.

“Let me guess, you need me to make coffee for that dickhead Rhys, cause you messed up yours?”

“Something worse. I’m going to my FIRST meeting with Rhys.”

“Oooh~ The new clients? And what exactly do you need help with?’

“I don’t know! Rhys told me to prepare the… boardroom? How do I exactly do that?”

Georgina pressed her lips together, holding back a laugh. You annoyingly frowned at her, and the laugh came out of her chest.

“I’m so sorry.” Georgina said through her laugh, she brought her palm to her mouth to prevent further laughs coming out. “To be honest, if I were you, I would literally shove that pen up his ass and tell him to go and prep-...”

But her laughter suddenly died down, removing her palm slowly from her mouth and eyes widened when she laid her eyes on the door. Wondering why she did that, you turned your head to the door and you startled when you saw… Rhys standing with a stern expression.

“Rhys, hi.” You awkwardly spoke.

“If I remember correctly, I specifically instructed you to prepare the boardroom for the meeting and not to waste time engaging in idle conversation with…” He gave Georgina a piercing, critical glare. "With an employee."

“Yes, of course. I was just about to leave and do that, and I was saying something to Georgina real quick.”

‘He must have heard the entire conversation…’

Rhys hummed a little, still holding on to the same expression. “I see…”

“I’ll go and prepare it now.” You started walking towards the door with your head down.

Rhys moved aside to give you enough space to walk out but you could feel his eyes coldly watching you along his strong perfume hitting you again, making you feel tense as you head out.

Rhys shot another piercing glare at Georgina, his eyes filled with a chilling intensity, before firmly closing the door of her office. He watched your back as you kept walking, a tumultuous mix of emotions surged within him.

He had this inexplicable urge to approach you and say something that clawed at his insides but he fought against it, swallowing down the words that threatened to escape. With a heavy sigh, he finally moved and made his way towards his own office, the weight of unspoken thoughts lingering in the air.

—

After creeping on Rhys and making sure he went to his office, you immediately called Georgina to help you ‘prepare’ the boardroom.

“Quick, go before they come in.” You said with fear, glancing at the door every 5 seconds.

Georgina places the last glass of water on the massive table and runs towards the meeting door. Before she goes, she gives you a thumbs up and disappears.

As you took a deep breath, other employees walked in. Along with… Rhys engaged in a lively conversation with unfamiliar faces. Despite their laughter, Rhys held a normal yet still the cold expression on his face, unable to bring himself to laugh with them.

You tensed up again, but decided to calm yourself with deep breaths.

They all sat down on each chair in front of the massive table that held glasses of water, papers, pens, and everything else.

"Well, Rhys Waldorf, it's an absolute pleasure to meet you formally. And I must say…” The man sitting across from you looked at you while Rhys sat on the head of the table. “Your lovely secretary is quite a sight to behold.”

The man eyed you up and down, you could feel him undressing you with his eyes, making you tense up. Rhys glanced down from his seat and cleared his throat. “Right.” Is all he muttered under his breath.

“Anyways, let’s get started.” He deliberately pretended to ignore the client seated right beside him. But deep within his chest, a suffocating frustration built up his chest that went unnoticed by everybody in the room, including you.

—

“And that was everything, any concerns or questions?” Rhys uttered.

“Actually Mr. Waldorf, I have a question to ask.” The same man who couldn’t keep his eyes off of you the whole time spoke.

“Shoot.”

“How long have you had this beautiful-looking assistant? Because…” The man licked his lips while looking at you, except this time, he eyed your chest.

“Well, actually, that’s none of your business!” Rhys seethed, anger forming in his voice.

You shifted uncomfortably on your seat, watching them with an unpleasant face.

It wasn’t really a surprise after all, all mergers and acquisitions men acted inappropriately like this.

“Oh come on Rhys, let’s not act so professional all the time. We all wanted to see that pretty ass of hers when we first saw her, including yourself Mr. Waldorf.”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Rhys slammed his hand on the table that made you flinch as he angrily shouted, standing up. “Get the hell out of my company.” He pointed at the door.

You just sat there and watched them with a shocked face, fidgeting and unable to say or do anything. The other clients sat there unbothered, but you could see through them that they were on the man’s side.

The man stood up as well. “Woah, Calm down, Rhys.”

He chuckled through his chest. “You really do not have to act dumb. How about she comes and works for me, just a loan, or consider it as a little bonus for us. I’ll give her back to you after I’m done with her.”

“Over my dead body!”

The man raised his hands up. “Geez man, alright. What’s gotten into you?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “She wasn’t even that pretty anyways.”

Rhys fell silent.

“What the hell did you just say?” He quietly snarled, his voice dripping with malice.

“I said, she wasn’t even that pretty. She can’t even utter a word properly, can’t imagine a personal assistant like that.”

Rhys stared at him for a moment, an idea popped in his mind. You heard him say, “Actually, you know what?”

“What?”

“How about you go and have her all by yourself, right now.” He pointed his hand down at you.

You were completely shocked, eyes widened. You were glued to the chair and couldn’t find yourself standing up because of the fear you felt running all over your body when Rhys said that.

Rhys got away from his chair and stepped back aside, but he was still close to you, not leaving his eyes from you. His arms were crossed against his chest. You turned your head to him, “Rhys…” You pleaded.

He raised his palm a little from his arm to you and mouthed ‘It’s okay, just trust me’’ He gave you one of his rare reassurance smiles that somehow… relaxed you.

But your attention quickly got back to the man who smirked and raised his eyebrow at you, making you gulp fearfully in return. He walked across the table towards you, the other male employees and clients were lustfully watching. He stood in front of you and brought his hand up, leaning slowly to touch your chest but before he could touch you, something stopped him…

Rhys harshly grabbed the man’s wrist that the man was going to lay on you and twisted it painfully, causing the man to groan in pain.

“You really thought you were going to lay your filthy hands on her?” His eyes darkened on him.

Roughly, he gripped the back of the man’s hair. Pulling the man towards the wall and smashing his head onto it. He gripped even tightly onto his head and turned his head to face him.

Some of the men stood up, they tried to come closer to him but Rhys lifted a finger to them.

“No. No, no. Sit the fuck back down.”

The men stopped in their place but looked at each other and slowly sat back down, not wanting to be the next on Rhys’ line.

“How about you take your stuff and shove those files up your fucking ass and get the fuck out of my company before I throw you and your little fuckface minions out of this fucking window right this instant.” Rhys spat, finally letting out his rage that’s been stuck in his lungs this whole entire time but it wasn’t all of it.

“Rhys please, calm down. We all are just joking here.” One of the clients said.

"Oh, you want to joke around with me? Come stand next in line then after I'm done with this piece of shit."

The client quickly looked down in response with shame on his face.

Blood ran down through the man’s nose as he moved lazily, but there was still some consciousness. Rhys threw him on the ground, waiting for him to pick himself up.

“Wait a minute, What the hell am I doing?” Rhys scoffed and glanced at you. He suddenly comes closer and grabs your arm, making you stand up and guide you to the corner but right behind him, away from everyone.

He goes back to the surprisingly conscious man lying on the floor and bends down in front of him, “Nobody ever disrespects my secretary in front of me.”

He threw a flying punch across the man’s face but it wasn’t the only one, he repeatedly kept punching that made you cover your mouth and just stood frozen there. Multiple men came behind Rhys and tried to pull him away from the bloody man, when Rhys saw how torn the man was, a twisted satisfaction filled him but rage still buzzed him like an annoying bug as if beating him wasn’t enough.

Unbothered, Rhys breaks free from their grip and walks to the table to pull multiple tissues and wipe his bloody hands with. All the employees check if the beaten man is okay, too scared to face the powerful man themselves. While Rhys on the other hand, nonchalantly wipes his hands and fixes his tie.

He strolled towards you and firmly grabbed your arm, you allowed him to drag you out of the room.

—

“Are you okay?” He asked as he closed his office door and turned to you.

You were standing near the wall of his office after he dragged you out of that boardroom without a word, but you felt your fear start to go away. “I’m okay, I just felt a little scared. But Rhys, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Beat the man up!”

“Y/n, if you weren’t there,” He came closer to you. “I would beat that man bloody to death for the way he was looking and talking about you.”

“Rhys…” You slowly backed away, feeling your back hit the wall. But he just moved even more closer to you, making your bodies almost touch. He looked at you in the eyes as he spoke.

“You thought I didn't notice? Oh, I saw every single look that he gave you. Every. Single. One. And trust me, he won't be doing it again, nor anybody else.”

You didn’t know what to say but all you could feel right now is his warmth against you, hitting your body in every way possible. You could practically feel his breath hitting your face at how close his face was. He deeply stared at you and you tried to look anywhere except his eyes, tensing up at how he was staring at you.

His eyes held all types of emotions you couldn’t catch. But the emotions went away as he quickly snapped back into reality.

“Oh god…” He backed away from you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He apologized and shook his head, lowering his head.

“I’ll just go…” You mumbled.

You walked to the door, opening it. But before you leave, you turn to him.

“Rhys.” You said.

His head was still lowered on the floor but turned his head towards you. “Yes, Y/n?”

“Thank you.” You blissfully smiled and walked out.

—

“What? No way chica.” Georgina laughed from the bench after you explained to her about the meeting incident with the client.

You and Georgina were sitting on the bench at night, waiting for the bus since surprisingly, there’s no cabs this time. It was unusual since this is a bustling city.

“I mean, seriously though, how did Rhys came to you and offered you The Secretary Position. I mean you are… you. You’re too sweet for this company, you need something nice and simple, not this.”

“What... I mean, I don’t know…”

“I think Mr. Moneybags likes you.”

“What? No–”

Georgina grabbed both of your hands with hers. “Yes he does. I bet he has a big dick.”

“Oh my god, stop. you’re grossing me out.” You tried to get out of her grip but she just pulled your hands closer.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you never fantasized about the Big Time CEO with his big co-”

“Ladies!” A voice heard behind you both spoke that caused you and Georgina to startle.

Turning around, you saw Rhys with the same expression as usual walking towards you.

“The dickhead is here.” Georgina whispered to you but then she first replied, “Hey, Mr. Waldorf. Y/n and I are just waiting for the bus.”

You shyly waved at Rhys and he gave you a soft glance in return and uttered, “It’s late.”

“Yeah, well… kind of unusual for there to not be any cabs.” Georgina said.

“Nonsense.”

The moment he said that, you heard the bus come around the street, making the three of you turn your attention to the bus.

“Oh and look at that, the bus is finally here. Let’s go Y/n.” She stood up, making you stand up as well.

“Actually wait.” Rhys stopped the two of you.

“I will be taking Y/n home by myself, but enjoy your night Miss Clark.” He spoke, his tone was more of an insistence than a suggestion.

“What?” Is all Georgina could say, in confusion.

“Oh, ummm.” You looked over to her but brought your eyes back to Rhys,

“Okay, sure I guess.”

Without wasting any time, Rhys firmly grabbed your wrist and led you to an expensive-looking car. You looked over to Georgina and saw her looking at you with a shocked face. She quietly mouthed, ‘What the fuck?’

You just shrugged in confusion but then you heard the back door of his car open. You nervously get in the backseat as he watches you, and it doesn’t take long for him to follow you behind and sit beside you.

“Where to, Mr. Waldorf?” The man sitting on the driver’s seat asked.

“Home.”

—

Sitting on the backseat, the whole time you kept your eyes on the car windows, looking at the mesmerizing skyscrapers and avoiding the fact that your boss is sitting next to you. The car ride is full of silence, not a single word uttered.

But Rhys’ quick glances he gives you the entire car ride made you completely self-aware, causing you to fidget with your fingers and keep your gaze on the window, pretending to not notice his glances to you. Those glances were the loudest silences.

Another glance.

You suddenly hear him say, “Y/n?”

You turned your head to him and gave him a smile as a response.

He bends closer to the passenger seat and picks up a bottle of champagne from a bucket that’s filled with ice cubes and 2 glasses that’s fit for champagne.

“Champagne?”

You give him a confused look. “What are we celebrating?” You asked. “Aren’t champagne usually for celebrating? Your question ran a mile.

“Well, luckily, I have got some new clients who came in today. So I decided we should celebrate, just you and me.” He gave you one of those rare smiles he doesn’t often show.

That’s impossible. You don’t recall any clients coming in after the incident that recently happened today. And how would they make a deal that quickly in just one day without any meetings…?

“But Rhys… we never arranged any type of meeting with anybody and you never told me that new clients already came in?”

“Yes, that’s true. I did everything by myself, very quickly.”

What?

“And you made a deal with them?”

“Of course, why would I be celebrating then?”

You found yourself at a loss for words, growing more confused by the second. However, your attention was captured as he effortlessly popped the champagne bottle like a soda, skillfully pouring the sparkling liquid into the waiting champagne glass. The room filled with the delightful sound of fizz.

He pointed his finger at your window, “Oh Y/n, look at those cute little birds.”

You shifted your attention to the window as soon as he spoke, but there were no birds in sight. When you turned back, you caught Rhys discreetly slipping something into his pocket, followed by a friendly smile as he handed you the glass.

Your confusion escalated, looking down, you saw a pinch of shade white in your champagne sinking down but completely forgot about it when Rhys raised his glass.

“To Waldorf Enterprises.”

“To Waldorf Enterprises,” You repeated after him, raising the glass in a toast and clinking it against his solitary glass.

“Mr. Waldorf,” The man driving blissfully said.

“Yes, Vanya?”

The driver who appeared to be named ‘Vanya’ spoke, “Would you like to hear a joke? I think Miss Y/n would like this one, just like how you like it.”

Rhys fell silent, causing a giggle to escape your lips. “No Vanya, thank you.” Rhys playfully replied. “I don’t want to hear your joke for the hundredth time already, and Miss Y/n would not like to hear it either.”

“I wanna hear the joke.” You curiously said. Rhys didn’t say anything further and let Vanya say his thing.

“Okay so, why don't skeletons fight each other?”

“Why?”

“They don't have the guts!”

Vanya bursts out laughing from his seat. An awkward smile formed in your face, you slowly looked at Rhys. He was looking down on his lap, wanting to just disappear. You laughed along with Vanya but started to feel suddenly dizzy. “Great joke, Vanya.” You said, your voice getting lower as your head started to hurt.

“See, Mr. Waldorf? She loves it, I know she does.” Vanya humbly said.

Rhys turned to your side, he noticed your eyes growing increasingly blurry. He watched intently as you began to move uncontrollably and let out pained groans. In a swift and skillful motion, he managed to catch the champagne glass just as it slipped from your grasp, its strong taste lingering in the air.

As you let out small pained groans, everything seemed to be blurry all of the sudden. You noticed Rhys didn’t have a concern or any other type of emotion on his face but rather stayed still and eyed you carefully, his eyes getting darker but in a strangely satisfying manner.

“Rhys…” You mumbled, grasping onto the door handle for support.

“Shhh, why don’t you just rest?” You allowed him to slowly lean your head on his shoulder. Your body couldn’t react to anything, letting out another groan against his shoulder.

Rhys brought his coat closer to your body, providing some warmth, but the heat from his proximity was already overwhelming you since you got in the car. "Rhys, what's happening?" You asked, your voice filled with weariness. Slowly, your eyes gently closed as you rested your head upon his shoulder.

And the last thing you heard.

“Sleep well.”

—

You slowly opened your eyes, they were met with a grand and mysterious-looking room, it’s darkness holding an allure. You look around and the first thing that hits you is the pain on your brain, causing you to groan.

You tried to move yourself, only for your back to hit a soft headboard. Finally gaining your consciousness, you noticed that your hands were tied up on the corners of the headboard. You instantly tried to break through but it was too tight on your wrists.

As you were confused about everything, you saw a man standing in front of a wall, facing a fine large artwork. His gaze was completely on the artwork, not moving an inch. You confusingly looked at him but recognized him from his broad shoulders, it was your first time seeing him without his jacket suit.

“Rhys?”

“Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe... a controversial masterpiece that challenges societal norms and provokes thought. Painted by Édouard Manet in 1863.” He turned to your direction and started to walk slowly towards you.

“It depicts,” He turned aside to look at the artwork, a whiskey held in his hand. “A scene of a nude woman in the company of fully clothed men, enjoying a picnic in a forest.”

He continued his walk to you. You weren’t sure what was happening, until it hit you. The car ride, the joke, the champagne. No way that he… drugged you…

“Rhys, what did-”

“This unconventional composition and the juxtaposition of the nude figure with the clothed individuals caused a scandal when it was first exhibited.” He stood in front of you, his eyes held the same emotions you saw before in his office after the ‘incident’ while speaking in the most passionate tone you’ve ever known to man, you assumed he was talking about the artwork.

You noticed that he held such a calm expression, unbothered by everything around him, and the fact that he didn’t just drug you in his car.

“Manet's bold brushstrokes and vibrant colors bring the scene to life, inviting us to question our preconceived notions of decency and propriety.” He glanced at the artwork for the last time.You just sat there, looking at him in fear while trying slowly to get out of the ribbons.

“Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe,” He looked back at you, a twinge of annoyance strikes him when he sees you trying to pull yourself but failing each time but he remains calm.

“Challenges the viewer to confront their own biases and explore the complex relationship between art, society, and perception. It remains a thought-provoking work that continues to captivate and inspire discussions about art and its role in shaping our understanding of the world.”

And all of that ‘rambling’ coming out of his mouth, you didn’t understand a single word he said. But rather focused on freeing yourself from the tangled ribbons.

“What are you saying- and get these off-” You exclaimed, pulling the ribbons harder with your wrists.

You whimpered in frustration, feeling utterly defeated as the tight grip of the ribbons refused to relent. Each attempt to escape proves futile, leaving you with no choice but to release heavy breaths of resignation, acknowledging the overwhelming power of the entangled ribbons.

“Are you done?”

You could only manage to nod your head, looking down to save some of your pride while your mind swirling with a multitude of unanswered questions. Did he drug you? Your boss? And tied you in whatever this is? Is this his bedroom? So many questions ran through your mind, it felt like you had stumbled into a twisted maze of uncertainty, his maze.

“I understand how you’re feeling right now, Y/n.” He nonchalantly placed the glass of whiskey on the nightstand.

‘No you don’t..’ Is what you wanted to say.

“But I want you to know, you have nothing to worry about, as long as you don't attempt anything foolish or reckless. Your safety is important to me, so let's keep things smart and sensible.”

You took a heavy breath, steadying yourself to find anything around the room to escape.

“Today at the board meeting, witnessing that man’s behavior towards you,” He looked away from you, a flicker of anger crossed his face as images of the man flashed through his mind, another suffocating frustration slowly building up. “I’ll make sure that will never happen again.”

He sat on the bed with you, his back facing you but he turned around to you, leaning in closer to you, his breath almost hitting your face. “So I decided you should stay here, I mean, I was planning later on but it seems like this can’t wait.”

“What- What do you… mean?” You asked nervously, your body tensing up, eyes widening with fear rather than confusion as you hear those chilling words escape his lips. Once again, to pull the ribbons with your wrists. In return, letting out another whimper.

“I’m sorry that I’ll have to keep you here. But you’re too pure and innocent. I’m scared that this world will break you. I’m only protecting you.”

“But-”

“Shhh,” He whispered, softly placing his finger on your chapped lips. “I don’t want to hear another word. I’m doing this for your own sake. Now you don’t have to work, I’ll take care of everything for you.” He said, his voice was low and commanding.

He bent closer to your face, his face inching towards yours. You shifted uncomfortably, trying to look anywhere else besides his eyes. He knew your predicament of bashfulness but he ignored it, rather using it to mark his words properly for you. “I know that you won’t escape, I know that you won’t disappoint me, afterall, you’re my…”

He paused, “My…” his voice catching in his throat, as if the weight of his unspoken words held him captive. For a brief moment, he looked down, gathering his thoughts and summoning the courage to continue. With a subtle clearing of his throat, he lifted his gaze to meet yours once more.

“If you’re angry, you can let it out on me, you know that right?”

You didn’t say anything and kept avoiding his eyes that stared into yours, you found his toned chest the only thing you can keep your eyes on.

You knew he was lying. The champagnes, it was all of a set up and an act of performance of him to drug you and keep you here. No client makes a deal in one day.

“Scream, shout, cry, spit, anything you want. But you have to know one thing, I can’t let you out, you must stay with me.” He tilted his head down to reach your eyes that were looking at his chest, you finally locked eyes with him. “Would you do that for me?” He asked, eagerly waiting for your response.

You simply nodded.

He knitted his eyebrows together and sighed. “Why are you so scared of me? You should know that I would never hurt you, and that I would rather die than to lay a finger or harm a single hair on you.”

When he moved away a bit, you saw the door. It was far but it’s the only way you can escape from this madman. He slowly untied the ribbon as he spoke, “I want you to promise me that you won’t escape.”

“I promise.”

He resisted the urge to let a smug smirk form on his face, his voice filled with a confident tone as he untied the other ribbon. “You know Y/n, a promise is a whispered oath, a fragile thread that weaves trust, a bond forged in the heart's crucible, a commitment that echoes through the ages.”

And again, you didn't understand a word he said. Your focus solely on the relief of being able to rest your arms. As he tossed the ribbons onto the master bed, he made his way towards a large wardrobe. You stood up, your eyes fixated on the door.

This is your chance. He’s busy with whatever he’s searching in the wardrobe, all you need to do is just run to the door and escape. But of course, no powerful and smart man like Rhys was dumb. He wouldn’t just keep the door unlocked, that still didn’t stop you from wanting to try.

You realized you wasted your time on thinking when Rhys came back to you, clothes held in his hand.

“Here.” He handed you a garment that resembled women's clothing. You looked at him with concern in your eyes, but he reassured you with a slight smile, “Trust me, it’s not what you think, not in the slightest.”

He walked backwards and turned around, giving you space for you to change. You gazed at the door as you unbuttoned your silky blouse, thoughts running in your head.

Okay, this is really your chance, you just need to be real sneaky.

‘Walk real slow, open the door, run and never look back.’

You slowly and surely walk sideways, trying not to make any creaks on the dark wooden floor. Rhys’ back was still facing you, so you kept on going.

You made subtle movements with the clothes to avoid arousing suspicion. you found yourself close to the door. Deciding to take a risk, you broke step number one and made a daring run for it, pushing the door open with all your might and...

A whole new level of fear rang through your body when the door refused to open, realizing how bad you messed up.

You slowly turned your head to Rhys, you saw him turned aside to you. A calm but disappointed expression you could see right through him. You gulped and reluctantly removed your hands from the door handle.

“Rhys I…”

He turned fully to you and walked toward you, a soft smile forming on his face. “Promises are the sweetest lies, aren’t they?”

Your back hits the wooden door. “Rhys, I- I can explain!”

He scoffed in a wide smile and extended his arm, silently inviting you to lean into his embrace. You silently complied, allowing his arm to gently drape over your shoulder.

He begins to guide you to the bed, his grip on your side shoulder firm yet strangely gentle. You thought he was going to get extremely angry and shout but no, he bent down his head to reach yours. His touch gentle as he traced his fingers along your jawline, leaving a trail of warmth in his wake.

You became rigid at his unexpected touch. It seemed like the affection moves he always pulls on you became his signature. He sat you next to him on the bed. Suddenly, he smiled once more and pulled you to a hug that fastly trailed your body with his warmth.

“I would never hurt you…” He whispered, pulling you even more tight.

You felt Rhys lean over and heard a sound of a drawer being opened, “But I have to do this.”

“What are you-” You immediately let out a silent scream on his shoulder when you felt a sharp pain on your neck.

Looking over, you saw a needle injection going right through your neck. You begin to struggle in his arms, trying to get out of his grip. But that seems to only grip you even more closer and tighter.

You screamed once again, tears started forming in your eyes. You tried to push him away only for him to lean you down on the bed. “Y/n, Y/n, listen to me, listen-” He exclaimed, getting strands of hair away from your face as you screamed and sobbed louder because of the strong pain and grip he wasn’t planning on letting go.

“Let go of me-” You cried out.

You effortlessly hit Rhy’s shoulders with your hands to give him pain as well but he remained unfazed, neither him nor his body reacting to the forceful blows you delivered on his shoulder. As if he was made out of stone, hard and cold stone.

“My dear Y/n, listen to me. It’s okay, it’s okay. The injection would only make you fall asleep, I promise you.”

“Let go..” Your cries escalated, making your head hit the pillow hard.

Rhys heavily sighed as if he was a mother whose baby couldn’t stop crying in the middle of the night. He removed the needle from your neck after swiftly injecting it and placed it on the nightstand. Gently, he laid beside you and pulled you closer to his chest.

He held you tightly the more you struggled, his embrace providing a sense of security amidst your struggles. He softly shushed you and kissed your head to calm you down. He was not annoyed, but rather felt a sense of weariness in dealing with your outburst. Yet, deep down, he had to see this coming but still reminded himself that this was for your own good. It’s true, this was for your own good.

But when he loosened his tight grip when you stopped kicking, thinking you finally stopped. You managed to give him a push and roll over the bed, making you fall down on the floor. You mewled but quickly stood up and ran, only for you to fall down again on your stomach because of the effects of the injection that’s quickly hitting in.

“Y/n!” He got off of the bed, rushing towards you. He turned you over on your back by your waist with his hand. “Please Y/n, I’m not meaning to hurt you. I’m doing what’s best for you.” With each word, his voice was filled with tenderness.

“Get away from me!” You silently screamed. You kicked him, over and over again. But it was useless, he was too strong to even respond to your baby kicks against his overpowering strength. He grabbed your leg to prevent kicking any further and slid you closer to him with your leg. Despite your struggles, Rhy’s voice softened.

“Please, just let me explain," He pleaded, his voice filled with genuine concern. “I know it's hard to trust right now, but I promise I'll do everything I can to make you feel safe and secure.”

You let your head hit the floor and cover your face with your hands as tears streamed down your face.

“Y/n…” He tried to remove your hands but you only pulled away in response.

After wasting all of your energy and breaths on struggling, the injection begins to hit further. You feel your mind getting dizzy, as well as your eyes. A drowsy sensation washed over you. You remove your hands from your wet teary face and grip tightly on Rhy’s dress shirt for support. You almost drifted on his chest but managed to keep your eyes open for a moment.

Rhys felt relaxation hit his body when you stopped struggling. But on the other hand, your sensation was overwhelming. Slowly, the pain began to subside, replaced by a strange heaviness that settled in your limbs. Your eyelids grew increasingly heavier than before, along with your thoughts becoming hazy, and the world around you faded into a blur. Rhys touched your hand that’s been gripping his dress shirt, feeling your skin.

Before you drifted off, unaware of what awaited you upon awakening. You heard him say…

“You’re safe with me, and only me.”

---

Baby, if you keep those tantrums up to Rhys, he would literally snap. Be careful.

He's so goofy, silly lil man.

#male yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere core #oneshot #yandere male #angst #drabble #soft yandere #yandere blog #male yandere x reader #yandere stories #oneshot requests #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere imagines #fluff

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duckiemimi · 7 months

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everything that’s happened since gojo’s unsealing has been such a missed opportunity for his character.

now, don’t get me wrong—yuuji is the main protagonist of the story, despite being benched for the better half of the arc, but gojo is a protagonist, too. and though the development from gojo’s beginning (the hidden inventory arc) to his sealing (the shibuya arc) isn’t as consistent as some of the other characters, it’s still growth with room for resolution. resolution which we did not get in 236. (if he’s actually dead.)

i think one of the biggest setbacks to gojo’s potential character growth is the timeskip that happened right before his fight with sukuna. the story wouldn’t have slowed down if we were given time to reacquaint ourselves with gojo after hundreds of chapters of absence, and it would’ve been a great opportunity to re-establish the dynamic he had with his students and friends, as well as introduce him to new characters and the characters we haven’t seen him interact with.

besides exploring character relationships, unfolding that timeskip into actual training scenes would’ve given the reader a sense of time passing, which would’ve played into the anticipation of waiting for the promised date. because that’s what the characters were doing, too—waiting for the promised date. the scenes wouldn’t have to be long and dragged out, but regardless if they were, they could’ve served a purpose in the story. in reality, all we know is that the timeskip happened and now everyone’s patting his back. conveniently implied off-screen growth.

then we have our epic battle, spanning fifteen-chapters full of “is he dead or is he not?” cliffhangers. as highly anticipated as this fight was, it mostly consisted of play-by-play sequences with minimal scenes of characterization. (by characterization, i mean things like internal-monologues and interactions that are more than just fighting. “phew, that was close” thoughts don’t count.) if we were to use the canon fifteen chapters as a base, a skeleton we could build on, adding more characterization could’ve made the fight less repetitive and so much more engaging, so much more meat to the story. alas, all we have fighting.

and then we have chapter 236. in my personal opinion, gojo didn’t have to die for the story to still end up centering the new generation he fostered, but let’s say he really did die in 236. if he really did die, then this chapter completely reversed and regressed gojo’s character to the point where it wholly undermined the development we’ve seen throughout the story. i would call it a simple “out of character” moment, but if he’s dead, then we’re back at square one and now we’ll stay there, unmoving. because he’s dead.

on top of that, his change was done abruptly, too, with no indication or foreshadowing that we were heading in the direction where 236 ended. i wouldn’t say that gojo enjoying his fight with someone who actually gave him a challenge was an indication that he would end up the way he did. you have to believe your readers are smart, but you can’t leave things so vague for them to figure everything out by themselves. readability is great. this issue shouldn’t have to be an open-ended question.

and anyway, the sudden change had no purpose. what am i supposed to take away from him reverting back to his high school self? that despite all the work he put in, he’s still alone? even in death, he feels alone? next to all his dead friends, he laughs but still, he feels alone and misunderstood? how pessimistic. and even if that was what the narrative was going for, then those fifteen chapters were a missed opportunity for an effective transition from point “a” (gojo pre-battle) to point “b” (gojo post-battle/in the afterlife) characterization-wise. (and plot-wise. off-screen major events are lazy.) i’m not convinced and neither are many readers. this isn’t just because gojo’s a well-loved character.

i think most people knew one way or another that gojo would die, given the nature of the story. even if that fifteen chapter back-and-forth gave hope for survival, the end is the inevitable, and that’s understandable. but to end his character as someone unrecognizable from who we were first introduced to, and to have it done so drastically, too? it makes me :/ . sacrificing gojo for the sake of the plot, i could understand, but twisting him post-mortem was unnecessary.

taking away the care he had for the future generation, who are battlefield-bound right now, completely undermines the fact that the story is supposed to center around them. that was his motivation and what spurred him to give yuuta and yuuji second chances in life. his care, his motivation, was what started the story in the first place. if gojo’s character arc was intended to be flat and his actual character, static, then he wouldn’t have had ongoing motivations that lined up with the major plot.

bear in mind, i’m not making this as a call to action or anything (god, no). but these are just my thoughts as a long-time reader. the story is still gege’s and while i’m dissatisfied with how he killed off one of my favorite characters in the series, whatever happens next is in the control of the g-pen between his fingers.

#gojo #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 236 #do i tag this as meta?#jjk meta #and now we wait for tomorrow

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junk-story · 9 days

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Interview: Interview Archive 1, 12.1993 - Ongaku to Hito Special Edition

BUCK-TICK is an exceedingly rare sort of band. Although the Band Boom has ended up vanishing as if it never happened at all, in an area totally unrelated to the Boom, where no one else is drawing a crowd, is a group with a unique stance who have continued following their own path of “individuality”. Their stylish visuals have the lingering scent of decadence. Their lyrics, like “I just want to go mad”, are laden with the aesthetics of self-deprecation. And, with “strange” sounds that have absolutely no roots in Western rock, and truly catchy melodies – from any angle, they are a “Japan Original”. Furthermore, although these “nonconformists” have also continued to be a great success commercially, they are still breaking new ground. Although their eerie ambiance is often misunderstood by ordinary people, this unique sensation is something that anyone can have a share of. Sakurai Atsushi reigns with a “negative charisma”, but his absolute desire to escape and narcissism in the sense of “being lenient with oneself” can happen to anyone. I support the weakness of humanity.*

Ichikawa: How do you think BUCK-TICK are seen by ordinary people?

Sakurai: …Maybe...I suppose people who aren’t interested just aren’t interested at all. Because no matter how many times something that doesn’t interest me shows up on TV, that’s where it ends for me.

Ichikawa: Despite your CD sales, you’re passive about this.

Sakurai: Yeah, because there are people who don’t listen to music, so even if I stood face-to-face with such a person and said, “It’s me”, they’ll just be like, “And who are you?” (laughs)

Ichikawa: Conversely, what kind of people do you think listen to BUCK-TICK?

Sakurai: Hmmm...I think a lot of them are daydreamers. (laughs) Even watching the same movies, like Alain Delon1 rather than Jurassic Park. (laughs) When I read the letters I’ve received, that’s the feeling I get.

Ichikawa: What kind of letters do you get most?

Sakurai: In my case, I get everything from the heavy stuff to the light stuff. (laughs)

Ichikawa: What sort of content is in the light letters?

Sakurai: “Your stage outfit was so cool this time”. (laughs)

Ichikawa: And what about the heavy letters?

Sakurai: The heavy ones are incredible, really – like a 21 year old girl who got divorced even though she has a child, or things about their family members, or about how they’re sick. Also, there are many people who write emotional content.

Ichikawa: It’s become Kitaro’s Yokai postal service2, hasn’t it?

Sakurai: Hahaha. But, there’s nothing I’m able to give them...you know.

Ichikawa: Although this idol-like reaction is understandable, is there no “added hidden value” appearing more and more?

Sakurai: Hmmm, I wonder...although I’m making music...music isn’t necessary to living, and you won’t die without it. So I think people who aren’t interested don’t listen to music that deeply, and naturally, they don’t synchronize their listening to the situations I find myself in and my reality. So the band is getting more media exposure, which is supposed to give us more opportunities to be heard, but I wonder…

Ichikawa: But on the other hand, the Yokai Post Box has letters arriving to it frequently, right? Obviously, that’s different from just a popular song and supporting some harmless rock music.

Sakurai: But I expect that the people who are watching idols are definitely greater in number. Because they’re all the same.

Ichikawa: But BUCK-TICK are already big names, and you’ve been reigning on the front lines for 6 years. Naturally, you should be different from them. And hey, if you were part of SMAP3, that would be a problem, wouldn’t it?

Sakurai: Yeah, that would be an issue. (laughs)

Ichikawa: So for example, what do you think people come to see Sakurai Atsushi for at concerts?

Sakurai: I really don’t know...for example, I receive letters saying like, “I want to see more of your humanity4 during the MC sections”, and I think it might be better if I expressed my humanity more. Also, I think the songs I want to sing and the songs people want to hear may be different...I’m always confused.

Ichikawa: You still haven’t gotten a grip on what your stage persona is.

Sakurai: No, if I think about understanding it, it’s easy, but I think hard about it and then it confuses me. I suppose there won’t be any problem if I do everything like an entertainer with a strong sense of providing a service, but.

Ichikawa: Like, “I’m Sakuraiiiiii!”

Sakurai: Wahahahaha.

Ichikawa: What’s an example of a song people are expecting?

Sakurai: Songs like “Speed”, “Jupiter”, or “JUST ONE MORE KISS”, don’t you think?

Ichikawa: And the song you think they’ll dislike?

Sakurai: Taiyou ni Korosareta. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Aah, Sakurai’s song about the thing at the core, the “aesthetics of self-deprecation.” Well, it certainly seems like a song that was written sitting on a hill of despair.

Sakurai: Oh? (laughs) But lately, I’ve received letters saying that Taiyou ni Korosareta was good, so I’ve thought that maybe I’m not as misunderstood as I thought I was.

Ichikawa: So you ought to have more self-confidence, Sakurai.

Sakurai: I should, right. More...not to flatter myself, but I hope I can cross the line to becoming an entertainer.

Ichikawa: Well, I think it’s enough that you’re performing as this “dark entertainer”. What do you think is lacking?

Sakurai: It’s not that something’s lacking...it’s that it’s incomplete.

Ichikawa: Well, then where is something lacking?

Sakurai: Mmm...in my own head. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Oi, come on now.

Sakurai: (laughs) I think it could be anything, but, for example, when I go out in front of 2,000 people, I just don’t get that same high anymore.

Ichikawa: So even though you have this stately and dark look – you don’t even think things like, “These 2,000 people have gathered to come see me!”?

Sakurai: No, I don’t. There can be people who are looking at something else even if they’re directly in front of me. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Aren’t you being narrow-minded about this?

Sakurai: It’s caught my attention. So I stare at a single point and act like an idiot who doesn’t see that sort of reaction to me.

Ichikawa: Wow. First of all, haven’t you ever thought, “I’m popular”?

Sakurai: When they’re screaming, “kyaaaaa!” (laughs)

Ichikawa: A live venue is really a melting pot of those “kyaaa” screams; does that make you feel anxious?

Sakurai: I don’t think it’s anxiety, but...I’m always agonizing5 over if I should take myself less seriously. It’s not only people who are listening to the music and enjoying it; there are also many people enjoying another part of the performance, so I think I should do what I want, but...I’m insecure.

Ichikawa: Have you ever thought about the influence you have?

Sakurai: I have. For example, it’s easy to tell when there are kids wearing the same fashion as I am. Also...I don’t know if this is my influence or not, but...the people who like the same world that I do. They give me these detailed, maniacal (laughs) opinions on things, like, “that musical is really good”, “have you read this novel?”, “you like this type of aesthetic, right?”, “this thing you said in an interview really spoke to me”, like that.

Ichikawa: Fundamentally, is it that the recipients of your work can’t accept Sakurai Atsushi as a real person? With your charisma, it’s like you’re magnified up 5 or 10 times bigger in their minds. And those voices, their expectations are like, “Well, if it’s Sakurai-san, naturally he’ll understand my aesthetic sense.” I think it would be natural to gain some self-confidence from those voiced expectations and support.

Sakurai: It would be better not to betray that sentiment, but when it comes to my own conviction...I think if I can put out more that says, “this is how my world is”, I’ll be able to clearly have that conviction.

Ichikawa: Even with Sakurai having this internal conflict, you’re being seen by ordinary people, other than your fans6, as a so-called “rockstar” now – in your case, you must be feeling the difference of that.

Sakurai: I do. Even people who don’t know music have said, “Ah, it’s that guy” – although I had just come there to have a meal. (laughs) I’m human just the same as a salaryman that’s the same age from that area, so..while I think that about myself, I guess they’re in a position where they can’t see it.

Ichikawa: Even if you don’t want to be considered special, in the first place, rock really must be thought of as “exceptional”. Moreover, being exceptional is the biggest characteristic of BUCK-TICK. Do you not have any awareness that this means you are exceptional?

Sakurai: I’m also very aware of that. It’s both extremes. There are also times where I want to say, “Leave me alone!”, turn my nose up and walk away, but (laughs) that’s also tiring, so there’s the converse argument to be made, too, like, “I’m a human just like you, so leave me alone.”

Ichikawa: Do you think things like, for example, that you could be as self-absorbed with how exceptional you are as Ei-chan7?

Sakurai: …I really do, without everyday life.

Ichikawa: What I’m asking is, can’t you become that way?

Sakurai: I can’t~. I don’t like being interfered with, and I switch Sakurai Atsushi off in those moments. (laughs)

Ichikawa: But there’s David Bowie, who isn’t doing fan service around the clock, but at work...(laughs) As a charismatic person, you can behave as you see fit, right? Although I think you could do it if you tried, you’d always agonize between those two selves.

Sakurai: I wonder why...because I’m afraid of being caught off guard?

Ichikawa: Don’t you think you’re cool?

Sakurai: there are times when I think, “I am super cool”, but there are also times where I think, “What am I doing?!” (laughs) I’m hard on myself, maybe.

Ichikawa: But, it’s simpler8 to think of yourself as cool, isn’t it?

Sakurai, Yes, much simpler. But in order for me to think so, I have to aim for being an entertainer, and I’m no good.

Ichikawa: This orientation you have toward being an entertainer is also being taken too far, actually – it’s like chloroform you breathe in every day until you lose consciousness.

Sakurai: Wahahahaha. That’s harsh!

Ichikawa: Don’t you want to become more arrogant and charismatic?

Sakurai: I really just want to shine within music, if it’s something I’m able to do. Aah...I see...maybe...I’m rebelling against it, aren’t I. Everyone views me as a rockstar, so I wonder if maybe I simply want to betray that notion and rebel against it.

Ichikawa: Does the so-called narcissistic state, where you can think of yourself as cool, not last long? It seems like only the high of not caring what the people around you think lasts, but. (laughs)

Sakurai: It doesn’t really last, no. It’s like...I end up able to see reality. That I’m someone who can go as far as narcissism, but can’t sustain it, I can see that.

Ichikawa: But without narcissism, the fantasy of rock won’t flourish, right? You’re a man who can’t be proactive, aren’t you?

Sakurai: Yeah...but that’s quite kind, because it makes people’s dreams of it expand more and more. I don’t really seem very kind, talking selfishly about my own needs while also saying, “I won’t show you the important parts.”

Ichikawa: If you said more, would it be like, “It’s your fault for coming to love me without my permission”?

Sakurai: (laughs) I wouldn’t say their fault...more like, it’s a waste. If I could be understood even if I didn’t say anything, I’d be extremely happy, because I hate the regret I feel after babbling out an explanation. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Then, explaining yourself to an ordinary person who thinks of you as a rocker must also be miserable.

Sakurai: That’s right. But...lately, my way of thinking about it changes all the time. Sometimes I think, “I’m gonna make that guy who doesn’t know me take another look!”, and other times I think, “It’s no good! I’m tired.” (laughs)

Ichikawa: So then, as I thought, you do think you’re cool, don’t you? If you were to call out to the women on the roadside over there9, you have confidence they’d quickly follow you here, right?

Sakurai: If I wanted to do it. (laughs) But using the energy is more trouble than it’s worth. I think maybe I’m unkind in that way.

Ichikawa: Well, calling out to them isn’t really nice either. (laughs)

Sakurai: Oh. (laughs) But, I’m thinking I want to become less sentimental, colder.

Ichikawa: What’s the reason behind that?

Sakurai: Because I have a heart. Wahahahahaha.

Ichikawa: Well, regardless of some minor occurrences of it, (laughs) Sakurai Atsushi doesn’t have any arrogance, really, in the bigger picture of things.

Sakurai: But I’ve also come to understand that I could be just a bit easier on myself, too. I think I could become cooler if I did.

Ichikawa: As Sakurai, and as BUCK-TICK, too, even though you’re this deeply self-centered person who doesn’t care about the existence of other people at all10, I think gradually it becomes necessary to see yourself objectively. And you have to become aware of the influence you have.

Sakurai: Lately, I’ve been chatting with people who have the same tastes as me, and it’s interesting to see how I can come to see myself when I see those people. While I was drinking in Osaka, a person came and sat down who said, “I can see ghosts” – why, I wonder, is it always that sort of person who comes to me? (laughs) But, it turned to conversation about our newest song, “die”, and they said, “You’re definitely a narcissist”, and I was like, “Ah, right, right, I’d forgotten that, now that you mention it.” The person I show other people is a narcissist; I felt like I’d forgotten.

Ichikawa: In the end, those types of people are the ones who come together under Sakurai with peace of mind, don’t you think?

Sakurai: That’s true. I think the people who are thinking about me must be seeing me with some amazing eyes.11

Ichikawa: Give those “amazing eyes” a response, a spectacular one.

Sakurai: I think it will change during our current tour. (laughs)

Ichikawa: (laughs) With that – BUCK-TICK is a band where the members take walking alone endlessly to the extreme, right? The most of any in Japan.

Sakurai: That’s out of my control. There’s nothing I can do about that.

Ichikawa: And that’s also why you feel like you can’t effectively exert your influence, I imagine.

Sakurai: Hmmm...so, I expect that I’m afraid of cheapening what I do. I just did what I wanted to do, so. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Are you being careful with your words?

Sakurai: You could call it being careful; you could call it cowardice.

Ichikawa: Certainly, in the early years – you may have been perceived as cheap during the pop era of your music where your hair was straight up, but since then, I think conversely, you’re perceived as a luxury good.

Sakurai: Yeah, I think we aren’t perceived as cheap, but I certainly have fear of being thought of that way.

Ichikawa: That’s like an ordinary girl thinking, “Don’t become friends with that person” about a yankii in their same class.

Sakurai: (laughs) Is that so?

Ichikawa: This yankii is stubborn, but in reality, he’s facing the dilemma of wanting to be friends with anyone at all.

Sakurai: Exactly. (laughs) But, I’ve been thinking that from now on, we should harden up more, get colder, and that I hope that those who don’t care about our music don’t bother with it. I hope that those who do care it experience it whenever they get the chance, and that those who don’t, never experience it again.

Ichikawa: Well, but, you’re so cool, so wouldn’t it be better to be more free-spirited?

Sakurai: Hahaha. I’m always overthinking things like that.

Ichikawa: I wonder if that overworrying is part of your personality.

Sakurai: Hmmm...I don’t know. But I’m always thinking about how I want others to enjoy and be happy.

Ichikawa: Even so, there are a lot of ups and downs in everyday life. (laughs)

Sakurai: Hahaha. I may not be handling them so well.

Ichikawa: Well, in the end, trouble always ends up coming about.

Sakurai: And that’s why all you can do is stand your ground, right...or I’m going to act out that pretense. (laughs)

Ichikawa: Have you been acting pretentious lately?

Sakurai: Quite pretentious.

Ichikawa: Anyway, you’ve got a good face for it.

Sakurai: Yeah.

Ichikawa: Oh, an easy agreement on that from this guy.

Sakurai: Fufufufufufu.

Ichikawa: So, if you acted like you owned the place, you could powerfully establish your own world – and moreover, externally, Sakurai is already waiting for it. All that’s left is you feeling like doing it.

Sakurai: ...it’s troublesome, you know.

Ichikawa: You sure are BUCK-TICK’S frontman.

Sakurai: (laughs) I want to have an effective presence that has a detailed edge to it. More than feeling like a big, enveloping presence.

Ichikawa: Aren’t you seeking a long life full of detail?

Sakurai: No way! (laughs) But, lately I’ve realized this. Because I’m using energy on this tour. (laughs) How can I say this...it’s like more...pushing forward the next day while feeling like, “I’m losing it, aren’t I?” (laughs)

Ichikawa: You’re a man predestined to being a paradox.

Sakurai: ...Has this ended up being an unspectacular interview? (laughs)

Ichikawa: Well, even if we sang “Shimauta”12 at karaoke, we didn’t sing “die”, so. (laughs) It’s considered special, you know, definitely.

Sakurai: Even if we’re doing something special, like – I end up feeling like everything is lumped together. I feel like the people who listen to music have become cowards, too. Like the provocation is frightening to them.

Ichikawa: Even though the propagation of provocation is the theme of this band.

Sakurai: Right. And moreover, we’re trying to even out the high and low points of unevenness, and there’s a feeling of something unseen moving.

Ichikawa: When it’s that way, you can only go back to the basics and put your hair straight up again!

Sakurai: Right? Although I wasn’t aware of it during the time my hair was up, that “We are special” thing.

Ichikawa: But I think if you put it up now, you might be able to do it having that awareness.

Sakurai: Imai currently has a mohawk while having that awareness.

Ichikawa: Well then, next will it be Sakurai Atsushi with his hair up?!

Sakurai: When should I put it up...people might say, “It’s uncool!” (laughs) I really don’t want to use my energy on that sort of thing. (laughs)

~~~~~ Footnotes: * This makes more sense as you read the interview - basically, I think he's saying that he argues Sakurai ought to be more lenient with himself. 1 A French movie star. 2 A reference to a manga. Kitaro is a “sullen ghost boy” who “protects others from malicious spirits”. 3 The biggest name in Johnny’s of that time, and still one of their biggest ever. 4 Human-ness? I don’t know a better word for this in English. They want him to emote, talk more, things like that. 5 Very dramatic word choice here – literally “suffering until you faint”. 6 Who are not ordinary people, obviously, lol. 7 Eikichi Yazawa, a big Showa-era rockstar. 8 Simpler in the sense of more comfortable; less work. 9 I wonder if he was actually gesturing to someone, or if this was hypothetical. 10 I think he’s ribbing him here – calling him out on his bullshit. Sakurai is repeatedly trying to say this about himself and then contradicting it. 11 In other words, they are seeing a version of him that he doesn’t believe actually exists. 12 A 1992 song by the band “The Boom”.

~~~~~ Some final translation notes:

I don't know who put the LibreOffice suggestion on my dash, but I used that to type this up this time instead of Google docs, and it seems to have preserved the footnotes (at least on desktop.) I'll try and test this on mobile too but hopefully it's a better experience!

Also, just a basic note on "cool" in Japanese - kakkoii. It's commonly translated as "cool" but really encompasses things like being attractive, sexy, etc. in ways I think the word in English doesn't. I think its usage packs more punch when you think of it that way, as like "heart eyes, motherfucker" cool.

#buck tick #sakurai atsushi #atsushi sakurai #ongaku to hito #jrock #visual kei #quartz translates #translation

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bfpnola · 7 months

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Hidden disabilities or invisible disabilities is a term to refer to disabilities that are not visible or obvious. Some common hidden disabilities are Autism, ADHD and dyslexia, as well as physical disabilities like IBS, EDS, RA, POTS or Celiacs.

Here’s the thing.

I feel like “hidden disabilities” puts the onus on the disabled individual as if we are hiding our disabilities. I feel like the term “hidden disabilities” generalises certain disabilities.

There are plenty of people who are visibly Autistic or visibly ADHD — there’s nothing hidden about us and for those who are perhaps less visible, it’s because they’ve been taught to mask for safety and survival.

As someone with EDS, IBS and Rheumatoid Arthritis, even these are considered hidden disabilities but they really aren’t hidden or invisible.

I’m sure people notice when I’m escaping to the bathroom for the tenth time or I’m trying to get my shoulder back in after it slipped out of the place again. I’m sure people notice when I say no to particular foods when I’m invited to dinner and I’m sure people notice when I have to stay home for five days after a big weekend out. I’ve no doubt people notice when I’m wincing with every step and bend. They simply don’t associate these things with disability because my disability doesn’t look a certain way.

I use mobility aids on occasion and I’ve been offered priority lanes, I’ve been offered a seat while I wait, I’ve been seen as a disabled person. While this has its disadvantages when it comes to discrimination and more, there are also some upsides like having my disability acknowledged. When I don’t use my mobility aids, I’m taken less seriously as a disabled person — people make assumptions about me and overlook my needs. I think this shows that many people have this idea of what a disability looks like so when they don’t see their idea of a disabled person, they make assumptions.

It isn’t because our disabilities are hidden or invisible.

It isn’t even because people aren’t paying attention because they are.

If people weren’t paying attention, they wouldn’t tease or bully us, they wouldn’t question us or tell us to act more normal or to get over it or to stim less or to pay attention.

If people weren’t paying attention, they wouldn’t point out our differences or point out when we’re running late or why we’re limping or why we’re leaving early or why we’re saying no.

Oh yes, people are paying attention but most of the time, they associate these things with personal failings or flaws rather than a part of our disability.

Our disabilities are not hidden or invisible.

Our disabilities are misunderstood, denied and ignored by society.

I feel like instead of using hidden disabilities to create more visibility and awareness, we should be educating society on what it means to be disabled and challenging people’s assumptions around disabilities.

Are our disabilities hidden or are people ignoring our needs and challenges?

Are our disabilities hidden or are people making assumptions based on what they observe?

Are our disabilities hidden or do people have a lack of understanding of disabilities?

Our disabilities aren’t hiding.

Our disabilities are quite visible to us.

Our disabilities are quite visible to the people around us if they just listen to us.

—

🚨[emoji] want more materials like these? this resource was shared through BFP’s discord server! everyday, dozens of links and files are requested and offered by youth around the world! and every sunday, these youth get together for virtual teach-ins. if you’re interested in learning more, join us! link in our bio! 🚨[emoji]

#resources #hidden disability #invisible disability #disability justice #ignored disability #anti capitalism #language #eds #ehlers danlos syndrome #ibs #rheumatoid #autistic #adhd

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astral-lucy · 3 months

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Hello :) Thoughts on a capricorn rising, cancer sun, and libra moon big three?

hi love! libra people tend to be eye catching, but with a capricorn rising? you sure get stares all the time but you don’t notice.

while a capricorn rising makes you look cold and even scary to some people, your cancer sun kind of “hides” your true self (since the sun talks about us and our personalities), so you maybe have been misunderstood for how you look, but you’re actually really nice, just a little bit more private.

the thing is, as cancer is represented by the crab, there’s this shell that allows you to be hidden. the ‘shell’ is what you actually use to face the world, is your comfort place, so you can keep yourself inside of it, feeling no rush to get out of it.

you try to be stylish and presentable all the time and so hard that it might be a source of stress. not only are libras and capricorn stylish people but i also feel like the house where capricorn is in gives you stress, and as it is on you rising, your appearance and how you present to others may give you stress.

libra natives keep balance and harmony, even though you like to gossip, you're also aware of the importance of friends and having connections, you never know what may happen in the future or who you’ll need.

cancer sun people are known for being super family-oriented. maybe you make your friends your family. you also may try to protect the people you care from them. the more you share with others, the more you will receive.

you might crave affection way more than what you let yourself show. since you’re aware of your feelings, you’re aware of the feelings of those around you, developing an intuitive skill. you have to trust people for them to know the real you, and you might be good at making people believe they’re close to you when, in fact, they’re not.

the fact that your sun is opposite to your rising shows me that you feel more complete when you’re with someone else, physically speaking, and you do discover yourself through partnerships. there’s also a conflict about what you actually want to show of yourself. you also may not show who you ruly are to anyone but your friends. it’s not hard to earn your trust, but they have to earn it.

hope this was what you wanted!

#astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astro observations #astrology notes #zodiac #big three #big three readings #cancer sun #capricorn rising #libra moon

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teejaystumbles · 3 months

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Rotten work!!!

Ahaha you picked one of the two hidden NOT Dreamling fanfictions in the list!! Hehe I know it sounds like a perfect Dreamling title, I came up with it on the fly. It's actually drabbles about my Guild Wars 2 Sylvari characters lolol but I hope you'll still get some enjoyment out of it

A few hours later the Commander returned to the camp and Medowyrt could finally breathe easy again. Aster caught his eye from across the fort and tilted his head in question. Medowyrt stood to attention and made a small move forward. The Commander looked away and went into his tent. The warrior was confused. Was that an invitation or simply an acknowledgment? Deciding that he could just send him away again if he had misunderstood, Medowyrt headed over to the Commander's tent and pulled a flap back. "Commander? Did you need..." "Come in. Please." Medowyrt did as he was told and stood just inside the tent, closing the flaps behind him. Aster stood with his back to him a few feet away. His shoulders were rigid, his voice harsh. “Medowyrt, right?” “Yes, Commander.” “I...apologize for my behavior earlier. I would appreciate it if we could keep that whole… thing between us.” “Of course, sir. I had no intention of sharing it with anyone.” Medowyrt took a step toward Aster. “I meant what I said earlier.” Aster turned around and straightened his back, clearly uncomfortable with their closeness, but refraining from taking a step back. Medowyrt grimaced and took a step back again instead. The Commander frowned. “Did you just…?” “I know… you do not like to be crowded.” Aster raised an eyebrow. “Am I that obvious?” Medowyrt shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s just that I have been watching you...for a long time…” He scratched his neck in embarrassment. “Ah… that sounds like I’m stalking you...I’m sorry. I guess I can just better feel your mood than others because I’ve attuned myself to you over the years...” Aster was still frowning and looked at the warrior with a curious spark in his eyes. He was probably angry with him, the warrior thought. It was hard to tell. Medowyrt counted any other emotion than despair as a win at this point, though. “Your dream… you saw me, right? That’s why you have been watching me?” Medowyrt nodded. “Yes. I knew from the start that I had to find you and… protect you… from yourself.” Aster looked to the ground, expression unreadable. “I… suppose I have to thank you for that…” Medowyrt shook his head. “I don’t know if that… I don’t know if I deserve any thanks. I suppose it depends on whether you are glad I saved you… or if you’d still rather be dead.”

Basically I made a character to save my main character after realising that he'd kill himself after certain canon in-game events haha... that's the rotten work - but not to Medowyrt. Not if it's Aster.

#lol this is not dreamling #GW2 fanfiction #teejay writes #original character

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vermillionbun · 2 years

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hello!!!!!! i read ur cat xiao fics and ugh just *chef kiss* 😭🤌 and i have a request? brainrot??? ask???? i guess????????

so after a not too long of living together, xiao maybe slips up and mentions that his birthday is coming soon and reader decides to surprise him with a little party at home and get him a gift but the catch is, reader is super bad at choosing gifts so they decide to enlist the help of their friend(s). one day xiao accidentally overhears the reader talking to their friend on the phone but only small little snippets like “hybrid, shop, money” and he immediately assumes the worst but decides to wait a while and see if the reader’s planning smt. soon he confronts us abt it bc he just can’t take it anymore and we have to awkwardly explain him everything and cue a flustered, on the verge of tears, kitty xiao bc he misunderstood it all😔

I'm so sorry it took so long T<T. I rewrote this thing multiple times, since I didn't like how it turned out and then there was Ani-fest this weekend in my town, so I also went there. Also (F/n) stands for 'Friend's name'. I know, very creative, but what else could I really put?

But, without further or do, hope you enjoy ^^

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->

‘Hmm, I wonder when Master will be back’. I don’t track the exact time they come home, but they’re back before sunset and it’s almost fully dark now. *Tap* *Tap* *Tap*. Footsteps. Someone is coming up the stairs outside. I straighten my ears and raise my body as the footsteps get closer to the front door. “...I don’t know… hybrid shop… money…worth it?...”. I feel a shiver run down my spine. ‘What was that?…’. What do they mean? It’s obvious the conversation is cut off, but these words… Something doesn’t feel right. ‘Wait… Are, are they going to get rid of me!? No no no, it can’t be, can it? They promised, th-they…’. I could feel the fur on my face getting wet. Master wouldn’t do that, would they?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“(F/n), you aren’t helping. Not only is everything overpriced, but it’s usually garbage quality. I was thinking of getting him a small accessory or something more sentimental. Sure the toys and extras at the store could be entertaining for normal cats, but he’s a hybrid. He didn’t look interested in any of the toys when we went there the first time, plus, one of the few things he plays with is yarn, which, you guessed it, I can buy at a craft store. Anyways, I’ve been standing in front of my door for 15 min now, we’ll talk tomorrow. Have a good night.”.

I sigh, closing my phone. I’m still lost. Xiao doesn’t have a lot of interests. The few things he likes are almond tofu and yarn, but I’m not about to buy him that for his birthday. He already sees small things like that as a privilege, I’m not going to make him think he’s restricted to things he enjoys only on special occasions!

Twisting the key, I enter my apartment, expecting Xiao to be looking at the door from the corner, but… he isn’t? ‘Huh, weird. Maybe he fell asleep in my room? He doesn’t seem to be in the living room.”. I take off my shoes and head to my room. As expected, Xiao’s laying on my bed, but something doesn’t feel right. He’s curled up a lot tighter than usual and his face is tucked in his paws like he’s trying to hide his face. ‘This doesn’t feel right’.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can feel myself giggle again. Tomorrow is finally Xiao’s birthday and, admittedly, I've been way too giddy the past few days. I’ve hidden his gift in my backpack in my closet and I have almond tofu at the back of the fridge ready for tomorrow.

Coming out of the bathroom, I stretch and continue to dry my hair with a towel. ‘Wait, it’s Friday night now. I can spend the whole day tomorrow with Xiao!’. A smile tugs at my face as I enter my bedroom. Xiao is sitting on my bed in his catboy form, wearing a loose gray shirt and black shorts. His brows are furrowed, mouth in a frown and eyes staring at the floor. He seems to be deep in thought. "Achem, Xiao, is something wrong?". His head snaps up, as his body suddenly tenses up. His mouth keeps opening and closing, trying to say something. ‘Are…are those tears!?’. His eyes get watery as a tear slips from one of them.

Dropping the towel in my hand, I rushed to his side. “Xiao, baby, is something wrong?”. His body turns slightly, hands grabbing onto my shirt and clutching it tightly. “You-you promised!”. He said through choked sobs. His whole body is shaking as he’s burying his face in my shoulder, tears soaking my shirt. “Sweetheart, everything is alright, no need to panic.”- I say as I pat his head.

Little by little his choked sobs are reduced to quiet sniffles. By this time my hand has settled by the end of his head, twirling a lock of his hair between my fingers. “There there, a bit better?”. He nuzzled his head closer to my neck, hugging me tighter, as he let out a low hum in agreement. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”. He lifted his head, red, puffy and teary eyes looking at me. “You won’t abandon me too, right?” “Of course not, why would you ever think that?”. He looked down in shame, blush creeping up his cheeks from embarrassment. “A couple day ago, I overheard a conversation you had over the phone…It was something about the hybrid shop and if something is worth it, so I-I th-thought…I-I’m sorry…”. Xiao was tearing up again.

Tucking him into my chest, I kissed his head. ”Oh sweetheart, I would never. I was talking about something drastically different”. Getting up, I head to the closet, taking a small teal box with a black and yellow ribbon wrapped around. “I was supposed to give this to you tomorrow, but I suppose I can do it now too. Happy early birthday Xiao”.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taking the box in his hands, he undoes the ribbon, eyes sparkling with curiosity. Opening it, his eyes widened. There layed a silver necklace of a vermilion bird, black stones engraved at the tips of it’s tails and wings and a green gem for it’s eye. It seems you noticed the tattoo on his arm. Memories come flooding back as tears appear in his eyes again. “Thank you”. Was all he said and that was all that needed to be said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Safe to say he still hasn’t, nor does he plan to, take the necklace off. You spend the rest of the night cuddling until you both fell asleep and the next day was spent in a similar fashion, along with almond tofu and having to untangle Xiao from yarn a couple times.(You may have gotten a bit annoyed after the 3rd time, but could you REALLY deny the way his eyes sparkle every time he starts messing with the yarn and when Xiao looks at you with those cute wide doe eyes as an apology and an ask for help yet again)

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->

And that's all for now for our lovable catboy <3 Also, apparently while writing this my brain decided to expand on the lore even more, so would anyone be interested in those 'memories' that flooded Xiao's mind when he saw the neckless?(May or may not lead to future angst)

Taglist: @vault-of-reblogs @sweet-almonds @venyan @traumamakesmefunnier @nillajhayne @apyrose @crowbird @reisinnie @sweetsandwichgardener @mizutatoes @clxudy-sky3z @moguu0

#genshin xiao #xiao #xiao fluff #catboy xiao #catboy!xiao #genshin impact #xiao x reader #xiao x you #twilight theater

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l8dyvenus · 2 years

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PICK A CARD READING

what hidden ancestral power was pass down to you and how can you tap into it?

NOTE: I decided to do something different and do a PAC based off of just oracles, channeled songs, and my intuition, using the theme of Kanye West’s fourth studio album “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” but please note, this is a general read. take what resonates and leave what doesn’t, enjoy 💥

PILE ONE

channeled song:

oracles:

+ manifestation

+ compassion

reading:

unaware of how powerful you are, you hold the key of creating all you desire pile one. the key to all you are destined for. your hidden powers are that you are the creator and a alchemist. you may come from a troubled family or experienced traumatic events pertaining to your family. or for some, your childhood wasn’t as great as others. you could have been bullied whether it be at school or home. could’ve been toyed with, manipulated, and had ups and downs with your confidence because of this. even could’ve been told your dreams will not happen or not received support wether it be physical, mental, or emotional from loved ones. you never had that listening ear or unconditional love where someone told you “it will be alright” even when sometimes it wasn’t. often you even felt misunderstood and lonely emotionally while everyone around you struggled with their own lives as well. without you knowing it, you are one with the universe and they see your hardships. your angels and guides watch over you, protect you, and they want you to know that your life will not always be like this. but to make your dreams reality, there needs to be an out with the old and in with the new. you need to work with them to come out of conflicted thoughts and negative beliefs others have placed you in, as you are only victimizing yourself. they are telling me you manifest little things and don’t even realize it, or sometimes you do and just shrug it off as if it’s something that just naturally occurred. but imagine if you believe it in…believed in yourself…you can have bigger and better. the main message that you need to hear right now is to have compassion towards yourself and others. whomever may have hurt you or wasn’t there for you, it wasn’t intentional. often times people hold on to unprocessed, unhealed trauma because their parents or the people around them experienced similar. they never knew HOW to heal and be better, but to change everything, YOU need to do better. holding grudges only puts a hold on you and your life, but having boundaries and sticking to it will make things easier and create a relief. be more open and receptive. learn to surrender and let go of doubts. the power of the universe is within you. you carry the guidance, support, abundance, and healing you already need. don’t let past experiences and the unjust of others continue to steal your joy. the more you resist and fight and try to prove your point with others, the more you will feel drained when you can use this energy to have compassion and respect for yourself. you are only blocking yourself by blinding yourself with frustration and anger for things and people who no longer serve you. see from a higher level, your guides are wrapping their arms around you.

channelled messages:

+ “stop whining and FIGHT!”

+ “666”

+ “1010”

+ “if you fail to plan, than you plan to fail”

+ “appraise the value of your attachments in terms of your individual long term goals”

+ “be careful”

+ “increase your efforts to ensure victory”

< PS - this is just the beginning, not the end. FUCK anybody who has something to say about you! now give me a virtual hug 🫂 >

PILE TWO

channeled song:

oracles:

+ romance & connection

+ healing energy

+ take a step back

reading:

I’m getting heavy Venusian vibes so pile two you could have prominent Libra/Taurus placements or be a Venus Dominant but you don’t have to be. you are very elegant and joyous. you bring people together and everyone loves you but with that comes a lot of haters as well. the vibe you give off is someone caring, nurturing, and vibrant. so though you maybe be good at relationships of all kinds, you may also struggle with them as well. relationships with people may play a big factor in your physical/emotional world. I hear you attract a lot of energy vampires because of this. you tend to give too much of yourself to others while they give crumbs or nothing at all in return and you are being advised to take a step back from doing that. they are draining you of your energy, even hurting you. I’m getting that you guys could be very emotional. probably wondering why you keep getting into romantic or platonic relationships with people who do nothing but take from you and you allow it. it’s a reason behind that. a reason why you are so giving because maybe growing up people weren’t as giving to you so unconsciously, you try to be like that for others. or maybe even, your parents were a bit demanding and controlling with every decision and choice in your life which caused you to lack boundaries. you haven’t unlearned this conditioning so you try to give the love and support that you lacked to others when you should be giving it to yourself. but in the end result, naturally you are a healer, that is your gift. your hidden power is that you can love and heal the most deceptive person and wouldn’t give a second thought on why you’re doing it, you will just do it and that’s okay. the world needs more people like you. you are rare, one of a kind, and beyond impeccable. but in this lifetime, this will be one of your biggest challenges. you need to find balance and set boundaries on how much love you give, and decipher on who and what deserves it or you will be left with a broken heart at the end every time. you won’t find the love you are looking for in the people who only take from you. to begin to ever create boundaries, you need to take a step back and reflect on your life. shadow work is highly encouraged. ask yourself “why do I lack boundaries?” “why do I always feel the need to over give and please others?“ “why do entertain the people who take from me?” “is my relationships just based on half hope and half escape?” “what fears, insecurities, and trauma do I have that ties me to these people?” etc. your gift is having the power and being the embodiment of the empress, the true divine feminine, but you cannot share your love properly when you are wounded. take some time alone to figure this out to heal and when you are ready, share your love with the world and good things will come back to you. doing this will be the catalyst of guiding other people who are like you, to you. this will open doors to more opportunities to build your dream lifestyle/career/family, have the right people in your corner to and receive the love/support/friends you deserve. it’s okay to not be around or give to people all the time when you do recuperate. from time to time, find solitude in nature and reflect and listen. take sundays to yourself and call it “self care sundays.” please cut those trauma bonds that you have with losers. you are so amazing, I truly need you to see this love.

channeled messages:

+ “888”

+ “333”

+ “humble yourself”

+ “self acceptance”

+ “11:11”

+ “cute doesn’t last”

+ “you are blocking yourself”

< PS - love yourself first. put yourself first. you know the patterns when someone is just trying to take from you. the first red flag you get, LEAVE. the first time you see someone put something/someone before you, LEAVE. leave people who drain you alone, stay away from them. they cross your boundary, you don’t shut up and not say anything, you SPEAK! and if they can’t respect that, cut the muhfucka loose! you are a fucking goddess. the goddamn empress, act like it! 💅🏾 >

PILE THREE

channeled song:

oracles:

+ “yes!”

+ “blessings and abundance”

reading:

pile three, it seems you have no hidden ancestral powers. you are already in touch with your guides, fully aware, but not tapped in. I get the feeling you may be in your head a lot, sometimes not believing things are real. maybe you feel like you’re going through a spiritual awakening? but this one is waaay different than any one you ever had before which means you’ve leveled up. there’s hesitation and doubt about the power you possess but you are still being advised to go forth. explore and expand your mind with knowledge and wisdom on your blessings. a major way you can do this is by meditating more to channel what you need to hear/know rather than listening to intrusive thoughts whether it comes from you or others. the more you tap into your energy, the more abundance and prosperity you shall receive but you need more knowledge. whatever you are doing, keep doing it. don’t be reluctant to go deeper and explore further. and don’t be too scared to get lost into your crafts. there’s peace and happiness in the unknown. if you are accepting and kind to it, it will be accepting and kind to you. you are being called to trust your intuition because it is right and it is guiding you. this will lead to more tremendous growth and fulfillment. you have to trust and completely surrender to the divine. you may have been feeling very sensitive and overwhelmed but that is just your guides near you, letting you know that you are on the right path and they are supporting you. let go of all concerns and trust in them. don’t hold back, don’t get scared now. if you’ve been holding off on anything, if there is a decision that needs to be made, now is the time to start taking action. raise your vibrations and believe that all your endeavors is unfolding right in front of your eyes. it’s okay to take the next step. the world is literally at your feet, it’s time to express and show everyone what talents you acquire.

channeled messages: (a lot came out so I took all :) )

+ “increase your efforts to ensure victory”

+ “444”

+ “this was fated”

+ “be patient”

+ “1212”

+ “your luck is about to change”

+ “peace is priceless”

+ “slow down and consult your inner voice”

+ “work things out”

< PS - you got this. when you think of things before doing it, you always create a certain expectation of the outcome. don’t do that, just make the decision. spirituality is nothing logical itself. if you want to think about the situation or possible outcomes, at least try not to see it from a 3D perspective. you are protected at all times. just close your eyes and take the leap 🌬 >

PILE FOUR

channeled song:

oracles:

+ raise your vibrations

+ vulnerability & freedom

+ angelic protection

reading:

im getting big ass Leo/Aries energy right off of the bat LOL. pile four, you are very confident and you are not ashamed to be vulnerable with how you express yourself, your feelings, and what makes you unique. your hidden power is just being your true unapologetic, unexplainable, authentic self. because of this, people who showcase a facade think you are stuck up, a know it all, etc, but in reality all they are doing is projecting their negative insecurities onto you. there a lot of people who do not know themselves or scared to be themselves that are jealous of you. watch out for your friends and family that surround you, because the people you are closes with tend to be the main ones who hold judgement—not to say that they are, but it is a possibility. because of power that was passed down to you, you bring freshness into this world, and your guides are protecting you. you are meant for something greater, something big, which will inspire those who feel ashamed about being themselves. your journey in this life time is to be a speaker of some sort. maybe even perhaps a mentor, a guide yourself, or someone who just presents to the world what it is truly like to live comfortable in your skin through film, art, events, etc. anything that unites people together or gets their attention to showcase this. maybe even YouTube or movies of some sort. but like with pile two—which may resonate with you—there is no love without hate. you will go through trials and tribulations, heart aches and heart breaks just by being yourself. there are a lot of envious people and energy vampires, but I got a good feeling that you have firm boundaries and know when to say no. whatever you do, never lose your spunk. never not be honest with people or lower your standards for someone else. continue to always do things for you and help others who lack this mentality. I’m getting big sister/brother vibes from you. whatever moves you make, it will get quite scary but you are being guided to trust your intuition and listen to your guides when you are placed in positions where it feels like you are stuck between a hard rock and a shell. just always remember, you have that angelic protection around you.

channeled messages:

+ “take charge of whatever is going on in your life”

+ “increase your chances of winning by having the right spiritual teachers in your corner”

+ “if you fail to plan, than you plan to fail”

+ “accept any consequences of your actions”

+ “increase your efforts to insure victory”

+ “999”

+ “make what you desire manifest”

< PS - strut your shit girl ! fuck what anybody has to say, they are just intimidated and as they should be! I don’t even know you personally and I just know you’re a bad bitch whether you’re a girl or a boy. whole energy was just giving me femme fatale. your meant to be a star, so go ahead and shine like one! 😮‍💨 >

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voldiebuns · 1 year

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We Don't Have to Make Friends: A Steddie Fanmix

{ Listen: Spotify | Youtube }

A fanmix about figuring out where your broken edges fit together. Inspired by Black Out Days (Fairground Nights) by @azrielgreen. Lyrics samples under the cut.

1. Trials // STARSET

These trials make us who we are, who we are, we are We're motivated by the scars that we're made of These trials make us who we are, who we are, we are We take our places in the dark And turn our hearts to the stars

2. Drown // Bring Me the Horizon

What doesn't kill you Makes you wish you were dead Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper And I can't take One more moment of this silence

3. We Don’t Have to Dance // Andy Black

We don't have to talk We don't have to dance We don't have to smile We don't have to make friends It's so nice to meet you Let's never meet again

4. Empty Thoughts // Glass Tides

No I can’t describe the feeling Pieces fall apart no reasons Same old games that mess me up Confused alone and all fucked up

5. Pretender // The Maine

But you don't have to hide your scars Not from me tonight at all Show me the real you Misunderstood can feel so good You don't have to hide yourself

6. MakeDamnSure // Taking Back Sunday

A long night spent with your most obvious weakness You start shaking at the thought You are everything I want 'Cause you are everything I'm not

7. Give ‘Em Hell, Kid // My Chemical Romance

We are, made from the sharpest things you'd say We are young and we don't care Your dreams and your hopeless hair We never wanted it to be this way

8. Drunken Lament // Ludo

Drunk since Saturday Without you, without restraint It still stings where you stung Water swings in my lungs I'm starving for words that would ration my sadness away

9. Bad at Love // Mayday Parade

Every day I wake up Hoping you might call Counting each mistake like It was all my fault

10. Blood Sport // Sleep Token

Would you invite me in again? Let me pay for my arrogance Won't you show me your weakness? I made loving you a blood sport

11. All We Have Is Now // Royal Blood

If nothing lasts forever And no one makes it out alive I wanna spend our lives together While we have the time

12. When They Call My Name // Black Veil Brides

I won't turn back I won't cross that hidden danger line It's a loud and dark world But I think I found the light

#Stranger Things #Steddie #fanmix #FST #my mix #did I read the fic the other week and immediately start making this?#maybe so #I was in my feelings ok lol

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barrenclan · 1 year

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Ok I got you my man, here’s some trainer themes I’ve connected w some of the buddies. This is something I love to do, and I had fun doing it on characters aside from my own for once! Really got the gears rolling. Also did this just bc I am experiencing extreme pokemon brainrot rn so anything slightly Pokémon related is making me go feral. Included my thought process bc I did not choose these at random for the most part!

Here’s a playlist of the themes I chose if needed: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr5H2ba7070gSNBeCQSKzOVPjXR9vutwr

Pinepaw- Vs. Rival (ORAS)

Energetic, lively, maybe a dash of possible troublemaker. I honestly don’t know what to write for this really, Pine was the hardest one for me aside from Daff to connect to a theme. Wally’s battle theme was a close second, bc it was slow but confident, but I don’t know if the guitars were fitting for him.

Cormorantpaw- Vs. Piers (SWSH)

An edgy theme that’s not too over the top but also screams powerful. I feel like this man needs guitars in his theme and this was the most fitting one. Misunderstood emo edgelord guy who probably needs to sleep, god please go to bed. Was gonna choose Gladion (SM) at first bc the emo kid running away (?) from home/parent kinda thing they both got going on, but I didn’t feel like it was fitting. I dunno.

Asphodelpaw- Vs. Penny (SV)

Starts out VERY hardcore and intense but has these very “heroic” or lighter sounding parts too. I know not too much is out about Asphodel yet, but she definitely seems like the type so far to come off as really intense and snarky, just to have a hidden, more caring/sensitive interior, I think this theme reflects that nicely. Also both her and Penny have a thing for cute Pokémon. It’s funny.

Daffodilpaw- Lillie Encounter Theme 2 (SM)

It was hard to place a theme for her, I wanted something confident, but not insanely powerful since she’s not a great battler. Lillies second theme definitely has that sense of confidence as in game it’s after she changes her outfit it’s to break away from the way her mom has tried to make her be for all of her life, down to how she dresses. It’s light, but confident. At first I was gonna use Hop’s theme from SWSH bc he canonically is god awful at battling but I didn’t think it fit her.

Slugpelt- Vs. Zinnia (ORAS)

She gets my favorite theme of all time. Zinnias theme is honestly kind of like, sad and almost mournful, but also very intense. Also kinda mysterious. Zinnia in game is feeling grief over a lost loved one, if my memory serves me right. Obviously that connects somewhat to Slugpelt and the disappearance/loss of her mother and brother, and overall Slugpelt just seems like a very sad but also intense when needed be individual.

Rainhaze- Vs. N Final Battle (BW)

I honestly am not sure about this one, part of me just chose it bc of the whole Rainhaze having a Zorua thing, and N has a Zorua/Zoroark. Also chose it bc of the whole mysterious vibe of the theme, as well as the ticking of the clock heard at various points in the track. Kinda makes me think like, either time is running out for him to be found, or a lot of time had passed since he has disappeared (and possibly has changed him.)

Deepdark- Vs. Team Magma/Aqua leader (ORAS)

You CANNOT tell me this wouldn’t fit him. I didn’t want a theme that sounded almost like,, godly for him (like Ghetsis, which I considered for a minute), but still something that screamed I AM THE BOSS, YOU’RE DOOMED. And you know what screams that? The godforsaken amount of trumpets in this theme. But no fr jokes aside this theme is super powerful and hardcore and it deserves to be assigned to him.

I already dmed you the brendan one lol but I also sketched a Maxie (magma leader) inspired deepdark bc of the theme, I was gonna do it for all of em but I decided against it bc like. Too much work. But I have to show this bc the image of deepdark in a turtleneck is extremely funny to me. Also sorry I don’t draw deer a lot lol.

MADDY you're the only person in this sonofabitch town I RESPECT. Thank you so much for this service... and you even COLOR CODED IT OH MY GOD AND YOU MADE A PLAYLIST

I will listen to all of these and think many thoughts about the silly cats thank you!!! Also Deepdark Maxie is so funny to me... honestly as a Pokemon Adventures Stan it gets the gears working a bit 🤔

#ask #music #pinepaw #cormorantpaw #asphodelpaw #daffodilpaw #slugpelt #rainhaze #fanart #TY FOR THE DOODLE he's so sillay <3

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scarlet--wiccan · 1 year

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I received a lovely DM a the other day and I ended up providing this person with a pretty long response to their question, so I thought I would share my answer to my main page because it’s not something I’ve directly addressed before.

Also, my inbox is, for now, open to anon and regular messages. People keep sending me questions like this over DM or on my other accounts, so you can just submit asks, it keeps things simpler. Anyways, the question went like this:

I thought about Billy’s Judaism and Tommys trauma/abilities and mainly as an X-men fan, I thought about them being mutants but I often equated how Billy’s Judaism was always hidden, it seemed like it was a metaphor (to me) for him being a mutant. I also recognised Their Roma identities were also translucent/complicated throughout comic history, alot like their X-genes (complicated and hidden). So I equated both the two together. The Magnus family has suffered so much throughout retcons and I thought billy and tommy’s mutant status was practically the only thing keeping them connected towards magneto & the rest of their family besides Wanda. I’ve had my thoughts about it as well, like Billy can pass just as a witch whereas Tommy cannot and I thought I should ask a Romani person how they would feel on that. I always thought their mutant identities were important at least, to me. It represented their “complicated parts” of their history/family.

I’m not sure if you’re asking me if I think mutant identity is important to the narrative, or if it’s important to these characters as people. I’ll try to answer both, but it’s complicated either way. The short answer, which you’re probably not going to like, is no. That said, whenever I am looking back at material from before 2015, I still view the characters as mutants and analyze their experiences through that lens. It’s complicated and annoying, because this retcon never should have happened and it messes with continuity. My answer to this question is not about personal bias, I am just trying to dissect the material as objectively as possible.

Wanda and Pietro have been around for a long time and have received a lot of different character treatments. I find that in most of their stories from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, mutant identity is an extra layer that is tacked on to facilitate stories about marginalization that could not have been told explicitly during that time period. They’re not directly involved in the mutant community. Instead, they’re Avengers characters who happen to be mutants. Wanda and Pietro are written as perpetually misunderstood outsiders who are frequently discriminated against and tokenized. To me, as a Romani reader, it’s very obviously a metaphor for racism and xenophobia. I think there are a lot of readers don’t see that clearly, because they don’t understand Romani issues first-hand and they’re not as interested in learning about us or representing us as they are in fictional mutants.

I do like their relationship with Magneto and I think it’s very valuable in terms of representation, but it’s never been the most interesting thing about them. Their early life experiences with Django and Marya, and everything that happened with Chthon and the Evolutionary are what actually drove their plot lines. Wanda’s desire to study and develop her relationship with magic is what fueled most of her development. Unfortunately, when we get to the 90s, that starts to become overshadowed by the narrative that they are Magneto’s tragic lost children who have become these ostracized, self-hating mutants. That really hit the fan with House of M, which blatantly disregarded much of their previous characterization, and kind of ruined the characters for a long time. Taking them out of that relationship with Magneto and mutantdom allowed the characters to actually return to center for the first time in decades.

So, as much as I think the retcon was bad because it fucked with continuity, and it broke them away from their Jewish background, I think it was better for their growth and their storylines— especially Wanda. Mutant drama was not serving these characters well, and it had not been for a very long time. There is a part of me that actually likes their new backstory more than the original. In the current version, Chthon and the Evolutionary prey on the Maximoff family specifically because they are Romani and they come from a particular Romani cultural tradition. Those themes about racism and the ways in which Wanda has been exploited and ostracized are able to be more literal now, which is good because modern writers are finally interested in having her face her traumas head-on and take back her power. That never would have happened if she was still being defined as a ~crazy~ mutant reality warper. Again, that doesn’t mean I think the retcon is okay.

For the characters as people, yes, they absolutely valued their mutant identity. Pietro, as time went on, became more involved in the mutant community and felt the pressure of Magneto’s legacy more profoundly. Wanda always expressed pride and never wanted to compromise her mutant identity even though she felt distanced from that community; she spoke often about anti-mutant discrimination and she was very compassionate to Magneto after he came back into her life as a father figure. She was written as rejective of her mutant identity in the 2000s and early 2010s, but, like most things from House of M, I think that was a betrayal of her earlier characterization. For better or for worse, Trial of Magneto showed that Wanda still cares deeply about mutantkind, has gone above and beyond to make things right since the Decimation, and will continue to be an ally however she can.

Billy and Tommy get their powers from Wanda, so I think they should just match whatever she is. Their origin is tied specifically to her magical storyline, not the mutant stuff. If Wanda’s not a mutant anymore, I think it’s perfectly fine that her kids aren’t, either. These characters have never been aligned with the X-Men or any kind of mutant community. Tommy’s experience with his parents and the detention center where he was abused are derived from him being a “mutant,” but it’s not difficult to tweak the context on that.

Obviously, Billy and Tommy have the same powers as Wanda and Pietro, and when Young Avengers was written those powers were mutant powers, so that shared genetic trait was proof of their relationship. It that sense, them being mutants was textually important. Billy being a Jewish character was also, I believe, an intentional choice that Heinberg made to further cement a connection between him and the Magnus family. Even though he was reincarnated, his heritage and ethnic background remained similar— that why I’ve always insisted that the character is also Romani. We can keep all of these identities intact because it’s magic! I’m actually surprised that you think his Jewishness was ever “hidden.” I think that it was very prominent in Young Avengers and Children’s Crusade.

In terms of powers, Billy’s chaos magic comes from Wanda and her experience with Chthon. Because his magic and his identity as a witch come from Wanda, specifically, they have to be contextualized and understood first and foremost through his Romani heritage. Again, being a mutant is like the least relevant part of that whole equation. Readers don’t see that because they don’t understand our culture and history, and they’re not invested in our representation.

In the year 2022, I don’t think we need to rely on a metaphorical minority group to represent “complicated” multicultural and multiethnic backgrounds. We can just accept that Wanda is a Romani woman with Jewish ancestry, and her children are therefore also Jewish and Romani. They arrive at those identities differently, but that’s okay because that’s what it’s like being in a mixed immigrant family anyways. That does not erase Billy’s upbringing or his Judaism. It does not invalidate the Kaplans. This is a fantasy plot, we can just let mixed race people exist. We can let Jewish people of color exist. It’s okay.

#maximoff family #magneto #erik lensherr #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #billy kaplan #tommy shepherd #robintext

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jinxstrology · 2 years

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Primal Astrology Signs (Pisces)

Primal astrology is a branch of astrology which combines the Western and Eastern (Chinese) traditions, creating 144 new signs that provide a deeper look into your personality. Although the system does include the use of the term "spirit animal", we can disregard that and simply view these signs as "primal animals", which I believe is just as accurate.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19TH - MARCH 20TH + RAT (1972, 1984, 1996)

Lemming

Those born under the sign of the Lemming may seem somewhat reserved upon first meeting, but it doesn’t take long to discover a surprisingly bright personality and sense of humor hidden beneath the surface. Smart and clever, but also deeply creative and emotional, these passive individuals can be influential when they want to be. Unlike some other signs, they don’t need to shout orders from the mountaintop to be inspiring. Instead, they employ clever use of words and ideas to paint mental pictures in the minds of others.

This is a sign where deep thought, emotion, beauty, introspection, and intuition meet expression, curiosity, and charm. Lemmings are artistic and deeply philosophical, and can express themselves in an insightful and intriguing manner. These are people you always want to hear more from. Lemmings say what they want, but choose their words carefully. They always have fascinating insights, which comes from being more spiritually connected than most.

The actual animal called the lemming is largely misunderstood. Contrary to popular belief, lemmings do not intentionally end their own lives, nor blindly follow each other off of cliffs. This theory was based on the creature’s strong urge to migrate when population explodes, as it strangely does among them in waves. When this happens, the usually strong swimmer can get in over their heads (literally) and drown trying to cross rivers. Why is this important to those born under this sign? Because the key spiritual lesson of this sign is to become independent, while choosing their actions based on a combination of intelligence and intuition, rather than instinct or emotion. Lemmings are not the brainless followers they are made out to be, but rather, animals who sometimes rely far too much on their feelings to guide them, even when they probably know better.

Lemmings have to be careful about addiction. They can easily be enticed by money, status, flattery, or just feeling good in general. Members of this sign have to realize that these are all meaningless from the soul’s perspective. They have so much to give, and so much to share with others, that it is frustrating to watch them spin their wheels and waste their talents by not learning from their past mistakes and relationships. They need someone to be as straightforward and honest with them as they like to be with others. They have to learn to take well-placed criticism, and interpret it in a way that helps them, rather than offends them. If they can do this, all problems will begin to clear themselves up.

As with most signs, finding a balance in life of work, love, friendship, comfort, and security is going to be very important. Anyone can get out of balance, and this usually happens to Lemmings through romance. They seem to be at ease with people, and life in general, but they tend to pick bad partners who cause them pain and drama, and when they do find a good person, they feel bored, trapped, or unsettled. This can happen with friendship circles, too. This sign may find themselves on the outs with good friends who can’t stand to watch them self-destruct.

With great power comes great responsibility, and this is a sign of incredible potential power. Some will avoid expressing their power, in order to avoid the potential trappings that come along with it, and this is not always a bad thing. Being prone to addiction and depression, this soul’s goal is to learn to exert enough power to get what they want and need in life, but not pushing so far that they overshoot their true goals.

With so much talent and energy, it is easy to go off course. Knowing the plan is the best way to ensure success in this lifetime, both materially and spiritually.

PISCES + OX (1973, 1985, 1997)

Moose

Quiet, observant, and gentle, those born under the sign of the Moose are hard workers who dedicate themselves to the causes that they believe in. These causes may be the family they choose to raise or the careers they choose to follow, but in most cases, they move selflessly toward the greater good.

Moose are sensitive, but this should not be misinterpreted as a weakness. Like their animal namesake, their generally calm and submissive nature is offset by the knowledge that they have great strength in reserve, and can become as aggressive as anyone if pushed too far. Those who try to take advantage of them will find this out the hard way.

While not particularly social by nature, Moose like to surround themselves with familiar faces and warm, cozy, comfortable settings. They are kind and caring friends and family members, who give of themselves freely. They may have big dreams, but more than anything, Moose crave a happy, peaceful life. Often preferring to spend time at home, rather than out in society, members of this sign usually have nice homes, filled with nice things. They appreciate the subtleties of art and aesthetics, and usually have excellent, if not eccentric taste.

Moose not only seek peace and comfort, but also unique ideas, and unusual roles. They don’t take a lot of risks, but they will volunteer to try new things, as long as they know that the consequences of a negative experience are minor. Moose have a somewhat hidden sense of pride. Above all, they don’t want to look foolish. They work hard to earn the respect of others, and won’t risk losing that respect without good reason.

PISCES + TIGER (1974, 1986, 1998)

Stingray

A seeming contradiction in terms, those born under the sign of the Stingray are adventurous, humanitarian, generous, sincere, rebellious, and emotionally fragile, all at the same time. To some, this energy may come across as chaotic, and wild, which it certainly can be from time to time, but Stingrays are also deep thinkers, dreamers, and idealists. Though they can be sullen and elusive occasionally, members of this sign always stand up for what they believe in.

Like their animal namesake, those born under the sign of the Stingray are mostly harmless. They spend most of their time sitting back and observing, planning, and considering their options. Also, like the stingray, members of this sign don’t strike out unless pushed. While they may spend a great deal of time quietly lingering in the background, they are not afraid to stand up for themselves, and can be a very formidable opponent to those who assail their deepest beliefs and personal freedom.

That’s not to say that Stingrays are always quiet and reserved. In fact, this sign has a very gregarious side, and will occasionally surprise others with the vigor with which they speak and act. Stingrays love intense conversations, and ideas that they can share with others. They can be powerful, outspoken leaders with one group of people, and elusive, mysterious, and suspicious observers with another. Members of this sign tend to play whatever role suits them best in different social situations, but are never predictable, no matter which role they choose to play.

Stingrays are often attracted to mysterious people, places, and things. They relish the unusual and the unexplained, and believe there is far more to life than what our five senses can reveal. Stingrays can also be emotionally unstable. They can vacillate between moods at any given time, and are not very good with moderation. This is a sign that is prone to addiction and escapism if left to their own devices. Though they seem to be very stoic in their beliefs, members of this sign are always second guessing themselves and others. They are much more emotionally fragile than they seem, and get their feelings hurt very easily.

PISCES + RABBIT (1975, 1987, 1999)

Silkworm

A combination of the two most passive signs in their respective zodiacs, the Primal Zodiac sign of Silkworm belongs to those born under the tropical sun sign of Pisces, during the Chinese Year of the Rabbit. This should not be interpreted, though, as saying that the Silkworm is weak. Members of this sign are among the most creative and intuitive people in the world. The difference between a weak or strong Silkworm will be the amount of self-confidence they build. Silkworms are very emotional, and easily influenced, so having strong role models around, particularly in their younger and more formative years, will make a tremendous difference.

While this combination may be sensitive and emotional, they are also capable of creating great things. When they are feeling good, there are few who can match the creative power of their minds. They have the ability to see things in an entirely unique way, and thus are capable of great innovations. Just look at the life’s work of fellow Silkworm Albert Einstein for proof.

The good thing is that the natural serenity of the Rabbit eases the inherent tendency of Pisces to become overly worked up while questioning everything in life. Kindness and compassion are very important to this sign; so much so that they have a tendency to give too much, too often, and find themselves worn down and burnt out. In nature, silkworms do not survive in the wild. They must be carefully raised and bred by humans, and eventually give their lives for the beautiful and delicate silk that they produce. This is an apt metaphor for those born under the sign of the Silkworm. Though they may seem too delicate to survive the rigors of the outside world, members of this sign must be able to grow beyond themselves to create the beauty that they alone are able to. Silkworms will give anything and everything for what they believe in, which to some seems like too much, but to them, seems to be the very purpose of their existence.

PISCES + DRAGON (1976, 1988, 2000)

Firefly

An intriguing combination of the sensitive and docile Pisces, and the proud, powerful Dragon, one would expect those born under the sign of the Firefly to be more of a contradiction. In most cases, however, these two very different sets of personality traits work quite well together.

Firefly is the sign of the idealist. Creative, intuitive, and mysterious, Fireflies are passionate about what they believe in. They try hard to be optimists, and want to see the world as a happy place, where good things are supposed to happen to good people. They are warm and loyal friends, and will do anything to help a loved one in need. At the same time, they expect this loyalty to be returned, and have little problem demanding it. Above all things, Fireflies want to be loved and admired.

Members of this sign may be prone to depression when inactive. With such strong ideals, and a powerful sense of right and wrong, they are not well-suited to accepting things as they are. While such acceptance is often tied to the concept of realism, it just doesn’t seem to work well for their personalities. Fireflies in particular need to be forward thinking, forward moving. They need a heartfelt purpose in life, and need to see progress toward it. Even if they can’t change the world, they can, and should, do their part to make it better.

Fireflies are sensitive. They spend a lot of time living in their own minds. In truth, they prefer their perfect fantasy world over reality, where they tend to feel a bit cheated by life. In their perfect world, everyone is like them and their animal namesake - a small but potent light in the vast darkness.

PISCES + SNAKE (1977, 1989, 2001)

Frog

Mysterious, cerebral, and soft-spoken, those born under the Primal Zodiac sign of the Frog are elusive charmers with excellent intuition. Their natural instincts are so good, in fact, that they can get further in life than most, solely on their intuitive gifts. Frogs have big imaginations, and like to think situations through long before they are ever encountered. They have strategic minds, and can anticipate the moves of others before they happen. Like their animal namesakes, members of this sign then only have to sit and wait for their prey to come to them.

One of the hallmarks of this sign is that they are always surprising you. Depending on other positions in the birth chart, most Frogs will be naturally reserved when you first meet them, then will suddenly say something extremely funny, charming, or observant that makes others wonder what else is hiding behind the cool exterior. Trying to get into the mind of a Frog is nearly impossible, though, as they tend to be more manipulative of themselves than they are of other people. Frogs like to bend reality to fit their preferred model of the world, and as long as nothing comes along to contradict this belief, they can live in their invented reality for quite some time.

Frogs are notoriously elusive. They are polite, well-mannered, and have classic tastes - implying that they are more conservative than they really are. Since they rarely let anyone see the inner workings of their own mental world, others have an increasingly difficult time getting to know them, the further into their minds they try to delve. There are many species of frogs in the animal kingdom, from the common water frog to the brightly colored and toxic poison dart frog. Similarly, planetary relationships in the birth chart have a strong effect on the personality characteristics of someone born under the sign of the Frog.

PISCES + HORSE (1978, 1990, 2002)

Gecko

The “spiritual wanderers” of the Primal Zodiac, those born under the sign of the Gecko are deep, energetic, and creative. They get excited about new events, social scenes, and even rough concepts of new ideas.

Like their animal namesake, members of this sign are often found restlessly trying to find the best possible situation to put themselves in, rather than simply relaxing and enjoying the moment. Just as the lizard will move all over a rock to get the perfect amount of sunlight, those born under the sign of the Gecko spend a great deal of energy trying to find the most perfect balance possible. Maximizing their potential enjoyment of every situation is what often drives a Gecko’s behavior, and because of this, they can be a bit oblivious to the effect they have on the people around them.

Geckos have a lot of insecurities, though they often try not to show them. They want to be known among their peers as the good-hearted truth seeker, who naturally is much wiser and spiritually deeper than the rest. In many ways, this is exactly what they are, though they are not nearly as close to perfection as they would like to believe. In fact, they often keep themselves busy to avoid noticing that they don’t really make a lot of forward progress on a daily basis. Geckos are prone to starting new projects or adventures with great amounts of energy, which ultimately fade out before anything sustainable can be created.

Because they tend to be big on self-analysis, Geckos are usually pretty healthy. They know what their body needs almost too well, and are very hesitant to put themselves in situations where they might not have everything they need. What they see as self-awareness is likely to appear to others as being picky, fidgety, and self-absorbed. In truth, Geckos can be so overanalytical, and limited in their interests, that they have difficulty compromising with others who don’t share their views. Geckos are famously difficult when trying to cohabitate with other people.

Ultimately, Geckos just want to feel good, and feel good about themselves. They want life to be a grand adventure, and they want something bigger than themselves to live for. Once set in their ways, there is little anyone can do to change a Gecko’s mind. Though they will fight to live their lives the way they want to, they will never intentionally harm others to do so. Geckos believe in the concept of karma, and though they can be stubborn, they are also kindhearted humanitarians at their core.

PISCES + GOAT (1979, 1991, 2003)

Leafy Seadragon

Kind, dreamy, and sensitive, those born under the Primal Zodiac sign of the Leafy Seadragon are some of the world’s most imaginative thinkers. Like their animal namesake, members of this sign tend to float through life unnoticed, quietly and steadily making their way forward by following their excellent intuition. It’s easy for them to get sidetracked, or caught up in the current of the real world, but Leafy Seadragons do best when they follow their hearts, instead of trying to do what seems most practical.

Practicality, organization, and efficiency are not their strengths, yet members of this sign often feel guilty for not mastering them. They are extremely sensitive to what others think about them, and hate to appear weak or incapable. In truth, Leafy Seadragons are highly intelligent individuals, who happen to have minds that work differently than most. They must learn to accept and embrace this reality if they ever want to feel content - an experience that is naturally difficult for them already.

Because they are so sensitive, impressionable, and eager to please, members of this sign can be easily influenced by their surroundings. They often seek dominant personalities to help guide them through life and balance out their weaknesses, but this doesn’t always work as well as it sounds. Leafy Seadragons go with the flow, even if that flow takes them somewhere they don’t want to be. In the animal kingdom, their cousin the seahorse can anchor itself to the ocean floor, keeping it from washing ashore or into harm’s way. The leafy seadragon does not have this ability.

More than anything, this is a sign of big dreamers. Those born under this sign spend a very sizable chunk of their time lost in their own thoughts, wading through the waters of their own dreams and visions to find the ideas that they believe can change the world. The thing is, they are right.

PISCES + MONKEY (1980, 1992, 2004)

Cheetah

Creative, intelligent, and curious, those born under the Primal Zodiac sign of the Cheetah are a rare breed, who have the capacity for high levels of both artistic and mathematical skill. Thus, they are often interested at an early age in esoteric or unexplained mysteries of the world. Their questioning of everything sparks an early learning curve, and most adults will perceive them as gifted. As kids, they often find themselves preferring the company of adults to other children.

Like their animal namesake, those born under the sign of the Cheetah are quick to get going in life, but have a harder time staying ahead in the long run. Like the wild cat, they often end up solitary and territorial, working on what interests them, and only allowing a few select others into their world. Like all cats, they love luxury and pleasure, and have an instinctive fight-or-flight reaction to challenges. They often isolate themselves in order to pursue their individual interests, but a lack of socialization can alter their personalities in unexpected ways.

Cheetahs are affectionate, versatile, intuitive, observant, and receptive to new ideas (as long as they don’t contradict preconceived notions). This is a sign of deep thinkers, with epic problem solving abilities. Both artsy and intellectual, they often feel misunderstood by their peers, and society in general. Cheetahs question everything around them, rather than simply accepting things as they are. Too often, though, they forget to question or analyze their own behaviors.

Despite a somewhat territorial nature, Cheetahs are sensitive individuals, who prefer to avoid conflicts whenever possible. They have many positive traits, but they can also be judgmental, easily distracted, and socially unaware. They don’t have much of a middle ground, and are often either “on” or “off”: either funny, confident, and clever, or depressed, self-victimized, and emotionally unstable.

PISCES + ROOSTER (1981, 1993, 2005)

Ocelot

In the animal kingdom, ocelots are nocturnal, solitary, and very territorial. They build their own little world around themselves, and only rarely will let anyone else in. However, some people have successfully kept them as pets. This is the secret of the ocelot: they can be dangerous, but are still just little cats deep down at their core. Once they can learn to trust others, they can live right alongside everyone else comfortably.

This is the natural way of being for those born under the sign of the Ocelot. They keep others at a distance. They want others to accept the impression of them that they choose to give off. They don’t really want confrontation. These choices most often lead to a solitary lifestyle, which is good for them in some ways, and not as good in others. Members of this sign can become reclusive, and start to live in their own world instead of accepting and tolerating the ups and downs of the real world.

Those born under the sign of the Ocelot aren’t solitary because they don’t like other people. In fact, members of this sign enjoy the company of others quite a bit. They sometimes isolate themselves because it is the easiest, and sometimes the only, way to fully harness their immense creative power. A combination of the western zodiac sign of Pisces, and the eastern zodiac sign of the Rooster, this sign is contradictory in many ways, but the two sides also complement one another a great deal.

Rooster gives strength, confidence, and determination, which in turn allows Pisces to fulfill its creative dreams and visions. Both sides gain deep satisfaction from these accomplishments, which could not exist without this dual nature. This is a sign that can get things done, but in their own unique, visionary style. They truly don’t need others to succeed, but can benefit quite a bit from connecting to people in the real world. If they cut themselves off from others too much, they can get too wrapped up in their own fantasies, and if they socialize too much, they will have a hard time finishing the projects they start. The key is balance.

PISCES + DOG (1982, 1994, 2006)

Tarsier

Loyal, helpful, and creative, those born under the sign of the Tarsier are also some of the most sensitive individuals in the Primal Zodiac. Tarsiers spend much of their time lost in thought. They are both dreamers and idealists, who would greatly prefer to live in an imaginary utopia rather than have to suffer through the chaos and iniquity of the real world.

Tarsiers are highly sensitive, both emotionally and intuitively. They take the pains of the world around them personally. In fact, they are so deeply affected by the problems of others that they can become easily overwhelmed, which can lead to depression, anxiety, and even addiction. Members of this sign have a very strong sense of justice, and a dedication to trust and loyalty that is unmatched among their peers.

Because of their sensitive nature, it is not unusual for Tarsiers to seclude themselves from others for periods of time. This is not only time to recharge emotionally, but also to work on one of their many creative projects. All Tarsiers are artistic, though some may not exercise this part of their nature until later in life. While they are very friendly and trustworthy, Tarsiers are not particularly outgoing. Still, many people are intrigued by them, and they usually find their place in a social scene easily. They play their role as the loyal and trustworthy friend and confidant well, though they are also known to be worriers and complainers, who must take care not to allow themselves to be taken advantage of.

PISCES + PIG (1983, 1995, 2007)

Zebra

Sincere, dependable, and a bit eccentric, those born under the sign of the Zebra walk to their own beat. It’s not that they try to be noticed, it’s just that people can’t help but notice them. Like the zebra of the animal kingdom, their authentic but unique way of being gives them a mysterious, attractive quality that is difficult to both understand and resist.

Zebras are social creatures, who typically have many acquaintances. Though they can be fairly quiet and reserved, they are actually excellent networkers. They can simply walk politely through a room, introducing themselves, and have half of the room wanting to find out more about them. Though they are friendly with many people, they sometimes have a hard time forming deep relationships with people, because they spread themselves too thin trying to keep too many friendships going at once. They simply run out of time to give to others.

Those born under this sign don’t just know a lot of people, they also know a little bit about a lot of different things. Zebras follow what they are attracted to most, which means that they will drop one project in favor of another one with little remorse. Should members of this sign find an interest that they want to stick with, it will most likely be something of an artistic, charitable, or social nature.

Many Zebras are drawn toward charity or social work, as they have an inherent ability to feel the pain of others. They are sincere in their desire to make the world a better place, but, unlike some other signs, they have a hard time knowing exactly what to do about it. Zebras are not the types to start non-profit organizations, but they are the types to donate, volunteer, or work under the guidance of a sign with stronger leadership abilities. Zebras may lead by example, but they are not usually considered leaders by themselves or their peers. They have too difficult of a time making decisions (especially under time constraints) and dealing with conflicts to play anything but a supporting role.

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