#SURPRISE YALL I FUCKIN DRAW
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Big ol warning for some graphic stuff that potentially be triggering for some!: Self harm & upside crosses [there's a shit ton of blood btw but yeagh]
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----[Tags]
#gtfo ☣️#GTFO game#isaiah woods#aiden hackett#abeo dauda#frank bishop#i wanted to do drawings representing their traumas/pasts#it doesn't really show that that well but im happy with them nonetheless#the borders look so shitty yall im sorry#my art 🦑#fanart ♠️#art#traditional art#my mental health has been really shit so it took me like 10 years to fuckin finish#i really wanted to show this in the discord but i was hesitant n wanted to keep it a surprise since I'm happy with the drawings#theyre so silly i hope they explode#<3
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yeah, im sorry this is so long. its not meant against you, mod, respect ya for all that you have to put up with here... yeah.
i think a lot of the people coming on here to complain about other peoples opinions need to take a deep breath. you don't have to agree with them. but bashing people in the tags, anonymously sending in that someone's opinion on a fucking rpg maker game that, at its core, is a massive shitpost.
suicide jokes, especially when you dont know the person saying it at all, are not funny. if it isnt a joke and youre really about to kill yourself over a fun little tumblr blog, get help. seriously. i hope you get better and feel okay one day.
somebody who probably lives 12 to 24 hours away from you, by plane, saying they self-ship or ship an oc with a character you find irredeemable is not the end of the fucking world. sure, you may see it as weird, but at the end of the day a surprising amount of this fandom is around about 13, and thats what 13 year olds do. no shade to yall. those of you that i know are great.
i myself am a minor, i only got into the games, and months later, the fandom around my 15th birthday. its easier than some of you want to admit to stay away from the parts of the fandom that arent child appropriate. i dont mean the drugs. drugs arent anyone-appropriate. theyre fucking illegal. shoving an eggplant up someones urethra is also totally outlandish and sounds like it was written by a 5th grader
lets all respect each other for a bit. nobody fucking deserved to get the colossal amounts of anon hate that ive seen soley because of a harmless opinion.
to the adults here who churn out high-quality comics and fics and ask blogs, that i so joyously read, hell yeah! keep doing that, do what you want with it.
to the children, and by that i mean minors okay we are in fact legally considered children, you keep it up too. keep up your ask blogs and fics and fanart and shit that is sometimes so high-quality i assume youre fucking 30 until i check your bio.
yall, collectively, need to learn that at the end of the day people are gonna do what they want with these characters. it doesnt matter if someone draws henry miller in fucking cat ears because hes a fictional guy. have you seen what they do to steve raglan out there, man? its a fucking warzone but instead of explosives everyones firing out furry edits! it doesnt matter if someone ships something you dont like. im not a proshipper, theres lines i personally refuse to cross, but can i do anything about the people who do? no. ive come to terms with that.
ship your weird rarepair who never met in canon. draw your genderswap fanart. make your au askblog. write that fic you think wont be good enough. someone, somewhere, probably loves what youre creating.
the anons here saying shit like "oh im gonna kms over this" and "thats a fucking weird character to like", yall are the same. im sure you arent all vanilla ice-cream on a summers day level basic. youve got your unusual headcanons too.
we really have to let the minors in this fandom be. they arent going anywhere, myself included, because they dont want to. you cant force people out. so be fucking nice instead of making someone feel ashamed because they make jake a she/they or whatever.
holy fuckin shit that is. long. i am so sorry mod. if its too long you dont have to post it lmao
.
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Calliope, Roxy Lalonde
Act 6, page 5089-5094
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]
UU: i can't see yoU, bUt yoU mUst be back by now, yes?
TG: y
TG: and i am how haxxing up storm
TG: p stank by
TG: *stand
UU: haxxing? :u
TG: u dont even no
TG: my fingers are the mean lil beaks
TG: of furirus woodpeckers
TG: and my keyboard
TG: is a pitiful plank of cruddy wood
TG: guarding a trove of tasty bungs
TG: it is guarding them i might add
TG: moist fucking unsuccessfully
UU: u~u
TG: as my digits rain danger
TG: on this hapless lamptop
TG: the result of my tappy onslaught
TG: is line after wicked line
TG: of leetfilthy codes
TG: aka..
TG: the governments worst nightmare
UU: Um...........
TG: i will be in an out
TG: of the systerm
TG: before breakfast knows what ate it
TG: JACKPOP BABBY
TG: im am ur cryptogodress 8)
UU: roxy?
TG: it is womon verse machine
TG: a struggle old as stuff itself
TG: she will bring sburb to its knees
TG: and then turn
TG: with her shitwreckingest face
TG: and stare
TG: into the void
TG: and the void
TG: will wonk first
TG: ;3
UU: i don't Understand.
UU: yoU are typing some sort of compUter program?
TG: no
TG: that was all mostly a huge load
TG: all that noisy keyboard bangin i just mentioned
TG: was me just typing all that shit i said 2 u
TG: lol i did type it superfast tho
TG: just like they do in dumb fake movies about primo hackers who r THA BEST
TG: i guess i hacked into our conversation? w/ bs nstead of codez
UU: ^u^;
TG: but for real
TG: im just drag & dropin some game shit in to jakes place
TG: it is easy as a butt
TG: this kiddie game is a waste of my baller expertise
TG: * sexpertities
TG: / obligatory
TG: hey look
TG: a 'totem lathe'
TG: kay w/e
TG: BONK
TG: down it goes
TG: in that patch off dirt i guess
TG: daaang
TG: fits on that patch o dirt like
TG: a glass shitting slipper
TG: NEXT ??
UU: ah, i Understand. yoU're beginning then. good!
TG: yes im on a roll
TG: gettin my peeps outie
TG: splitting the ball b4 junk turns 2 pumpkins
TG: soooooooooo
TG: what were you going to give me back there? ;D
UU: right!
UU: it's a present i made for yoU.
TG: ooh!
UU: it coUld be...
UU: a farewell gift actUally.
TG: huh?
TG: are u leaving
UU: maybe.
UU: i am aboUt to go to sleep one last time before oUr schedUled entry.
UU: and there is a very real possibility that i will never wake Up.
TG: oh no!
TG: why!!!
UU: it is complicated.
UU: there is mUch to say aboUt it which i have never told yoU, dUe to my adherence to the rUles.
UU: some of which i am aboUt to break now, in order to give myself a fighting chance.
UU: bUt before i go down that serpentine path with yoU, here.
UU: one last bit of artwork from an admirer. something to remember me by, shoUld we never speak again.
UU: http://tinyurl.com/roxyisthisyoU
TG: !!!!!
TG: ssdlkjfs;lkfjdlskfj
TG: ohhhly SHIT
TG: *hooooooly
TG: holiest of shits
TG: the shit.....
TG: is down right
TG: SACROSANCT
TG: omgogmogmomog
TG: this owns
TG: my bones
UU: ^U^
TG: look at my outfit
TG: want 2 wear that outfit
TG: want 2 kiss + marry that outfist
TG: look
TG: at that lollipop
TG: that fuckin LOLLIPOP
TG: hehhe look at me goin in 4 a lick
TG: like im the queen of fuckall yall
TG: what is that in my hair
TG: is that
TG: COTTONE CANDY????
UU: indeed it is!
TG: say helloes to new phone wallpp
TG: sry baby eatin jake husband u r out
TG: /DIVORCE'D
TG: yes perfection
TG: more like
TG: perferection
TG: is what is givin me
TG: am getting the perfbonerz up in here
UU: i really enjoy drawing yoU. it is a treat.
UU: yoU are jUst so pretty. :u
TG: awwwwwwwwww
TG: <3<3<#<#<##
TG: hearts n hashes
UU: anyway, i am very pleased that yoU like my drawing. ~u~
TG: i love it
TG: i love U
TG: U x2 combot
UU: yoU do?
UU: really??
TG: yes
TG: fo rillies
UU: :U
UU: blimey.
UU: this comes as qUite a sUrprise.
TG: well i mean
TG: not like lets got get space married love
TG: more like ur the best and i like you a lot love
UU: oh.
UU: then the conciliatory type. i Understand.
TG: wait
TG: i didnt mean to jerk you around...
TG: did u feel that way about me
TG: aww shit im sorry :(
UU: no! don't be.
UU: trUst me, that is not how i feel aboUt yoU. or anyone.
UU: thoUgh i trUly wish i were capable of those feelings.
UU: perhaps the fact that i am not is why the topic fascinates me so.
UU: and why i have been prone do indUlge in sUch...
UU: fancifUl visUalizations.
UU: of yoUr people's lovely bright red relationships.
UU: they mUst be nice. u_u
TG: lol well its not like i would know either way
TG: but thats cool i didnt know that about you
TG: i dont know ANYTHING about u but i wish i did
TG: cant you at least tell me your name bfore you uh
TG: maybe go ways 4 ever? ;(
UU: yes, as a matter of fact.
UU: that is actUally the reason i am contacting yoU.
UU: it is one rUle i have decided to break.
TG: oh fuck!
TG: what is it!!!!!!!
UU: my name is calliope.
TG: :o
TG: .....
TG: ilike it :3
UU: it feels so strange to type that!
UU: bUt also good, actUally.
TG: well ty for finally confiding in me calilope
TG: *calliope sorrey
UU: yoU're welcome. it is good to get it off my chest.
UU: bUt i am primarily telling yoU this as a last resort, in hopes of saving myself.
UU: yoU see, this rUle between me and my brother is a kind of trUce.
UU: we have both agreed not to say oUr names to anyone so that things will not get oUt of hand, and so it became one of the rUles.
UU: if anyone were to say his name to me, i woUld immediately fall asleep, and he woUld wake Up.
UU: so yoU will Understand if i refrain from telling yoU his as well. ~_u
TG: so
TG: hes sleeping now?
UU: yes, fortUnately for both of Us.
UU: now, chronologically speaking, i have never contacted yoU after this moment.
UU: so if i never wake Up from my next nap, yoU will never hear from me again.
UU: if yoU do not hear from me later, i woUld very mUch appreciate it if yoU coUld message my brother, and say my name.
UU: it may be the only chance i have to wake Up again.
TG: fuuuck
TG: this is highly terrible and scary stuff youre saying
TG: but yes ill def do that
UU: splendid!
UU: <kisses>
TG: shit now i wish we had more time to talk
TG: quick what otter rules were you going 2 break
TG: spill it cali!!
UU: i want to!
UU: it is overwhelming, trying to be cavalier aboUt rUles i have respected all my life. i'm not sUre where to begin.
TG: well
TG: what i wonder is
TG: you said you couldnt have romantic feelings
TG: or "red relations" as you said in your trolly way
UU: oh, i can have romantic feelings.
UU: jUst not the flUshed kind, which hUmans describe as romantic love.
TG: ok but
TG: i didnt think that was alien to you
TG: not the way u made it sound
TG: like dont trolls have the 4 kinds and one kind is just staight up love feelins
UU: yes, that's right.
UU: bUt...
UU: oh bUgger. this is so embarrassing to have to admit.
UU: i am sorry for saying things which may have reasonably led yoU to believe this.
UU: probably way too many things. u_u;
UU: bUt i am not actUally a troll.
TG: o
TG: rrrrrelay
UU: i have never actUally claimed to be. bUt i'm sUre i have implied it, probably dUe to wishfUl thinking.
UU: i have spent so mUch time wishing i coUld be one.
UU: trolls are a remarkable and fascinating race.
UU: hUmans are too, please don't get me wrong!
UU: bUt i am oUt and oUt smitten with trolls and their history and ways.
UU: they have sUch amazing, coloUrfUl social dynamics that soUnd like so mUch fUn to be a part of.
UU: and they are so beaUtifUl.
UU: i wish i coUld be that pretty.
UU: UnfortUnately, i am not very attractive at all.
UU: sad to say, no one woUld kiss the corpse i will leave behind.
UU: even if there were someone aroUnd to revive me, i doUbt they woUld be inclined to bother.
UU: for, er... several reasons, actUally.
UU: bUt really, it was always for the best that i cannot have fUlly flUshed feelings.
UU: no one coUld ever love me.
TG: oh man no!!!
TG: that is not true
UU: it is.
UU: and it's for the best that no one has ever seen my face, aside from my brother.
TG: but i want 2 c u
TG: i proimise i wont think you look bad or judge you
UU: no.
UU: i am sorry.
TG: :(
TG: then what kinda alien are you
TG: wait dont tell me youre ACUTALLY from urnanus??
UU: heehee. no.
UU: that jUst happened to be a planet from yoUr system i thoUght was lovely.
UU: i was particUlarly strUck by its UniqUe rotation.
UU: it has very nice...
UU: bollocks, what's the word.
UU: the term that refers to a ball's topspin?
TG: ???
UU: it doesn't matter.
UU: bUt no, i'm not even from yoUr Universe, let alone a nearby planet.
UU: my species has never even had a home planet.
TG: what species are u
UU: i am a cherUb!
TG: omg
TG: that is
TG: amazing?
TG: like u have wings or such
UU: no!
UU: i doUbt i am what yoU're pictUring.
UU: bUt aside from a few sUperficial similarities, we are very different from trolls and hUmans.
UU: we are not a social race. we generally will not ever encoUnter another of oUr kind, Unless it is time to mate.
UU: and when that time comes, oUr coUrtship is nothing like it is for hUmans.
UU: it is highly confrontational and violent.
TG: sounds so lonely
TG: plus w/ hecks of tricky sex
UU: it is lonely.
UU: bUt that is in oUr natUre, to be alone. jUst as it is to find attraction throUgh contempt.
UU: now that i think aboUt it, i shoUld have known.
UU: i've been so foolish.
TG: known what
UU: aboUt the natUre of my game session.
UU: i believed he and i coUld play together, even Under oUr UniqUe biological circUmstances.
UU: i was so daft, i thoUght skaia had actUally made an exception for Us.
UU: and that we coUld overcome oUr conflicts, work together, and fUlfill the game's minimUm reqUirement of two players. one of space and the other of time.
UU: bUt i was always fooling myself.
UU: it is now clear only one of Us will sUrvive.
UU: my skaian visions have misled me.
UU: or i have blinded myself to their trUe meaning.
UU: this was always meant to be a session of one.
UU: and i am finally starting to Understand...
UU: the reality of that coUld have conseqUences more horrifying than we coUld begin to imagine.
TG: um
TG: how
UU: the thing is, yoU don't know him like i do.
UU: as hard as it may be to believe, he is even worse than yoU think.
UU: and it's all sUch a shame, not jUst becaUse of that.
UU: it is a shame that i won't be able to play, i gUess for selfish reasons.
UU: i was so looking forward to it.
UU: i really thoUght i was going to be someone special.
UU: that i coUld Use my abilities do something no one had ever done.
TG: hey you are being so defeatist stop that!
TG: you dont know you wont play we havent even tried the wakeup call yet remembr???
UU: yes. you're right.
UU: mUch like skaia, i've sUccUmbed to a gloomier outlook lately, due to recent setbacks.
TG: so whats going to be special bout your game?
TG: aside from that its just your fuckhead bro and you
UU: well, i was always led to believe i woUld be an extraordinary type of player.
UU: both of Us woUld be. we are both assigned extremely rare and powerfUl classes.
UU: they are the two master classes!
TG: oh yeh?
TG: what is urs
UU: mine is the most passive on the scale. a class designated for females only.
UU: i am the mUse of space. ^u^
TG: sounds p cool
TG: whats a muse do
UU: i'm not entirely sUre. i was hoping to discover that on my joUrney.
UU: anyway, his is the other master class.
UU: the most active class of all, reserved for male players.
TG: what is it
UU: Um...
UU: roxy.
UU: i think we may be getting a wee bit carried away with trivia here.
UU: we both have so mUch to do.
UU: yoU need to focUs on getting to safety, while i need to...
UU: prepare myself. for what i hope will be a short nap.
TG: ok
TG: you are right
TG: la siiiiiigh
TG: im worried 4 you
TG: but optimistic
TG: i will call ur name like a million times
TG: and shout it in 2 the void every chance i get
TG: til u come back :3
UU: you are a good friend, roxy.
UU: please take care.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]
#homestuck#calliope#roxy lalonde#homestuck act 6#page 5089#page 5090#page 5091#page 5092#page 5093#page 5094#homestuck act 6 act 3
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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS
i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas
SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.
warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot
officer!daichi
we are: vigilante/troublemaker
loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much
nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins
u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl
He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date
but let’s talk about before yall got together
he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall
bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u
HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???
you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close
and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty
and this would continue for a while
but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase
some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow
he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it
and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u
he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore
and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.
yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING
it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)
he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love
u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses
u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)
u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u
u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street
but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.
unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things
after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)
THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA
but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”
PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time
u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass
bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there
even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment
but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others
and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*
his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)
the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3
u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera
he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it
daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333
IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP
bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)
daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-
in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY
househusband!oikawa
we are: girlboss sugar mommy
somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife
and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant
IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.
sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it
his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”
please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding
when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.
only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long
yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo
he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking
probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”
8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house
he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min
please find him a hobby
crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering
like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies
please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way
does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention
speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment
don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”
one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”
ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”
So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.
“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”
u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it
tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it
Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”
bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified
beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny
also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm
but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)
now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine
you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi
ceo!kuroo
we are: secretary
bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours
but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break
one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”
flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE
but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more
HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though
will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM
he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare
RIP janet from accounting
that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again
it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you
bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention
*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”
but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank
and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.
once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you
def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again
prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention
maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile
he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)
sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever
you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you
he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!
never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you
but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)
bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH
brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too
no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH
BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”
it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”
yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u
KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u
he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf
but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3
also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him
it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333
you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced
HES the one who has a crush on you
you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss
he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp
offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him
bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-
he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love
probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd
in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank
dog hybrid!bokuto
we are: owner
Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333
OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him
please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs
he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!
the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy
HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3
soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob
the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY
he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u
destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent
tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS
loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua
gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!
ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head
which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other
so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention
If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic
but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it
u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!
def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back
“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”
doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth
doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it
speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word
SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING
u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips
big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out
he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud
hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now
we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet
HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away
and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants
he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him
knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon
he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better
he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious
in other words i love doggy bokuto
pirate!ushijima
we are: kidnapped
ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa
just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)
thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt
so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon
but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable
he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333
he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading
but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it
you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea
mf made them walk the plank
you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean
he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure
speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for
“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”
bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened
hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf
equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors
U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)
oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP
it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333
“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES
HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT
tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”
“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”
he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF
HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY
but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”
but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe
sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u
oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)
they are given orders to protect u at all costs
speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns
almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him
he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff
ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-
he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more
is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??
he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333
no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man
whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages
speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away
wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant
bruh so powerful he walks on water
second coming of christ who
IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it
legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle
speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous
“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST
he’s got good intentions...i think…
but everyone literally knows he would dive after you
in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard
mafia leader!kita
we are: associate from different group/family
kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families
so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit
arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3
nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two
POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader
RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM
he owns the majority of the underground casinos
and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.
you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most
prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune
when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere
u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone
before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that
his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u
they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them
but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you
so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou
and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history
he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him
until they bribe him at just the right price
and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them
oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much
one time you were kidnapped and held hostage
bro saw red
MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH
he got world record time
wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that
and of course, made sure you were safe.
yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...
is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go
“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE
makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster
and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)
and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY
absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”
makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you
he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS
takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work
meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you
he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3
the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...
in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita
--
--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--
officer!daichi:
karasuno squadron consists of:
cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama
investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi
surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too
househusband!oikawa:
makki and mattsun are also househusbands
iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-
ceo!kuroo:
lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-
janet still a bitch
kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings
yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there
dog hybrid!bokuto:
kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did
kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.
hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned
i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.
pirate!ushijima:
tendou is practically is right hand man
the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-
BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.
mafia!kita:
the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.
suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.
aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards
a/n: im going to regret posting this
#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu captains#daichi sawamura#oikawa toru#kuroo tetsuro#kita shinsuke#ushijima wakatoshi#bokuto kotaro#x reader
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LOWI CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE!! 🥺💞💞💞 u deserve it and so much more!! for the kiss prompt could i get 18 with shinsou ?? 🥺👉👈
TYSM SOFFFF so uh. I’ve been fuckin stupid dkfnskfb my dumbass rlly wrote Shinsou correctly on my master post like a week ago and then still managed to write for Shigaraki instead when it came to the actual piece 😳 so thanks to my handyman brainrot you get two—that’s right, two!—characters for the price of one ur welcome ♥️ I cheated a lil bit so shinsou;s not sitting in the reader’s lap it’s just his head but i think its cute 🥺 also Shiggy’s is like twice as long as ive been trying to write them oops i rlly like the jealous reader premise 👉👈 it’s under the read more bc of that and bc of kiiiinda spoilers? if yall arent caught up to the manga you won’t get it but if u are it’s canonical. Whew that was a lot! Enjoy!
Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap
Shinsou
To say that your relationship with Shinsou is new would be an understatement. You’ve been friends for years—ever since the third year of high school when you’d been assigned to him as his support—but you’ve never been particularly close until recently when you’d once again found yourself working on his hero costume and support items.
He’d only asked you out yesterday after nearly two months of tension-filled glances and fleeting touches. Now, the two of you are watching a movie at your mutual friend Kirishima’s apartment, sitting quite awkwardly on a loveseat and pretending like you don’t want to get closer to each other. You haven’t told your friends yet about your new relationship status, but that’s not entirely what’s holding you two back. If anything, it’s run-of-the-mill first date awkwardness (if watching a movie with six of your closest friends around can be considered a date), too afraid to initiate anything.
The movie’s dull; the two of you have pulled out your phones to snark at each other through text, a strategy you’d begun weeks ago after being hushed one too many times by Kaminari because you were talking too loudly. The bright screens probably aren’t all that much better, but you two are in the back anyway; nobody can see it unless they turn away from the TV.
You risk a glance up and end up locking eyes with Shinsou. Your face heats up, heartbeat quickening, as he gives you a charming smile. You watch him glance around the room, unsure at first why he’s doing it until he turns his attention back to you and slowly, silently, moves over across the loveseat into your personal space.
Your legs are touching now, faces so close your nose is nearly brushing his. One of his hands has come to brace against the armrest you’re leaning on, allowing him to stay leaning in.
“Hey,” he says, little more than a whisper and clearly hushed so the others don’t hear.
“Hey yourself,” you respond, earning yourself a low snort.
Instead of vocally responding, he pushes himself back up to a sitting position and then moves his hands to maneuver your legs until you’re no longer curled up against the couch’s backing but sitting like a normal person.
Then he lays down, head resting on your thighs, and turns to face the movie.
You’re grinning uncontrollably. All possible self-conscious thoughts of the others seeing you are dashed from your mind; you like the weight of him in your lap too much.
You spend much of the rest of the movie like that, easily over half an hour. A few minutes in he reaches down to find your hand and bring it to his hair, encouraging you to stroke it. It’s even softer than you’ve imagined in the past, fluffy and thick and genuinely nice to run your hands though. There’s a surge of contentment that rushes through you, and maybe a little bit of pride at the knowledge that you can do this pretty much any time you want now.
By the end of the film, you’re pretty sure Shinsou’s fallen asleep. He gives you the scare of your life, however, when he grabs your arm as you’re trying to pull away. His eyes open, purple irises trained on you.
What happens next you blame on grogginess, him still not quite being awake. He blames it on you; whenever you mention it, he says he saw you and had become consumed with an overwhelming desire to just lean up and kiss you. Whatever the reason, it’s nice for you.
His hand comes up to the back of your neck, tugging you down just as much as he lifts up. It begins soft, kind of sweet, just lips as the two of you melt into each other—but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Within moments the two of you morph the kiss from a quick peck after a movie to a very passionate makeout, and frankly you’d be more concerned if they hadn’t interrupted the two of you.
You pull away when you hear Kaminari’s wolf whistle, left sitting on the loveseat with a burning face and your boyfriend in your lap, still half asleep.
Shigaraki
You’re not jealous.
No, you’ve been dating Tomura for months. You can’t be jealous when he’s, well, yours, and has been for quite some time. You’re his first relationship, his first everything, and it’s frankly foolish of you to feel this insecure just because some floozy is simpering at him from across the enormous room where you and the rest of the League are scattered about. It’s not like she really wants him, or even knows him; he’s just the hew big-shot leader and she’s decided being his lover sounds good. Too bad that role’s already taken.
Still, there’s a sinking feeling in your chest—an ache in your heart, a burning lump in your throat—that says now that Tomura is Grand Commander he’ll drop you for someone better.
You don’t realize you’re glaring daggers at the woman until she catches your eye. She has no business looking that smug; the only reason she’s allowed in the room is to give Tomura reports. You’re the one lounging next to him as she approaches; he has your legs over his lap, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing circles on your thigh.
And when she bends down to drop the report on his lap (as if your damn legs aren’t there, you want to scoff) she draws the eyes of every League member except the one she wants, because you’re the one who has Tomura’s attention.
He’s wearing Father, but you’ve long passed being afraid when he looks at you from between those lifeless digits and you can see the expression beneath; those lips tugging down slightly in a pout, brow furrowed, eyes far softer than they have any damn business being while hiding behind the severed hand of his old man. He’s concerned, and a little confused.
Tomura plucks the report from your legs and sets it aside, reaching to pull you fully into his lap. To your surprise he takes Father off, too; he buries his face into your neck to prevent the outsider from seeing, lips just brushing your ear so that you can hear him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hm?”
“You’ve been pouting ever since the secretary came in, brat.”
Like hell you’re saying anything in front of her. You remain stubbornly silent.
He doesn’t like that, you can tell, but while the secretary’s interest is lost on him he knows you well enough to tell that you’re uncomfortable with her. Presumably that’s why he doesn’t press the issue and kisses you instead.
You don’t expect it. Tomura’s not exactly one to shy away from PDA (you’re sitting in his lap in front of the whole League, for fuck’s sake), but intimacy is something he’s never wanted to take beyond closed doors. When he’s in a sour mood you’ll kiss him sometimes, even in public (he’s invigorated by your affection in many way, but never anything you’d call heated.
This kiss, though, is. It’s anything but chaste, perhaps even downright lewd. He’s all but initiating a makeout with you while Miss Secretary is standing right there. Maybe his affection-motivated ways are rubbing off on you, but it helps more than it probably ought to.
You’re dazed by the time he pulls away. The sound of the door slamming closed snaps you from your trance. The secretary, ploy foiled simply by your annoyed expression, had left. It doesn’t matter. None of this was ever really about her in the first place.
“There,” Tomura says, audibly quite pleased with himself. “She’s gone. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
You sigh, leaning in to tuck your own head into his shoulder. Your voice is muffled when you speak, quiet so that only he can hear.
“It’s dumb.”
“It’s bothering you,” he says simply. There’s an underlying statement there: tell me so I can destroy it for you. In many ways, Tomura is a predictable man.
You know he’s not going to drop it, so you accept your fate. “She was making a pass at you.”
He tenses beneath you, holding you closer. You risk lifting your head from where it’s buried to see the way his nose is scrunched up. “She wasn’t.”
“Yeah, she was.”
There’s a pause, like he’s processing everything you’re saying. Then, seemingly finally registering what exactly is bothering you, his hands move to grip your hips and maneuver you to straddle him, sitting fully on his lap facing him. “Fine. Why’re you pissed about it, then?”
You lean in again, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his chest and try to ignore the tears that are coming. You’d never be able to live it down if any of the others saw you crying over the fucking secretary.
But you know more than anyone thanks to many late nights assuring your boyfriend he’s the only one for you that Tomura can empathize with this insecurity. It’s a little strange how the script has flipped.
“She’s a high ranking MLA member, she probably has some crazy strong quirk. I’m quirkless. I dunno. I guess I’m scared you’ll drop me for someone like her. Like I said, it’s dumb.”
He doesn’t speak for a moment. You sit there, listening to his heartbeat and matching your breathing to his. Then he speaks.
“Your emotions aren’t dumb. It’s okay that you’re feeling this way. Thank you for telling me.” He’s parroting you, you realize; this is what you tell him every time he comes to you for comfort when he’s gotten in a mood. You feel a little fuzzy, warmth flooding your chest. “But I think we both know they’re irrational.”
“Tomura… I—”
“I’m not interested in some lame-ass NPC,” he interrupts, no hesitation and entirely sincere. He doesn’t even need to think about it. “You’re my player two, my endgame. The only thing in this world worth protecting. You really think that secretary can hold a candle to you? I didn’t even notice her. Why would I when you’re here?”
You can’t help it, you surge upward and kiss him, just as passionately as he had you mere moments before. His right hand traces up your spine to find the back of your neck and pull you closer, sending a thrill through your body as your own arms tighten around him.
“Oi! Horndogs! Get a damn room, don’t make us see that!”
You break away at Dabi’s words, panting slightly, and if the sincerity of Tomura’s little rant hadn’t convinced you that his words were true, the look of utter adoration he’s regarding you with would have.
#bnha x reader#bnha imagine#mha x reader#mha imagines#shinsou x reader#shinsou imagine#shinsou hitoshi x reader#shinsou hitoshi imagine#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki imagine#shigaraki tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura imagine#shimura tenko x reader#shimura tenko imagines#myherowritings#ask.🌧#mine.🌧#event.🌧 750 follower prompts#char.🌧 shinsou#char.🌧 shigaraki#pluvi’s pals
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Request for anon: Hey! Can you please write about Aizawa having a favorite American exchange student? And if you’ve already written that can you link it?
• He see's that you're also really fucking tired
• and he loves it
• First things first one of his favorite things to do is watch your facial expressions when someone says some dumb shit bc its literally his internal dialog
• and he knows DAMN WELL you can control your expression
• you just don't care too
• an obvious difference in culture
• western culture tends to be a lot less strict and tense than eastern
• and he likes to see you act in it
• Bakugou says something dumb? The look of pure disgust on his face literally has him leaving the room in fits of laughter
• Denki answers in class? Something really really stupid? The little head drop to the desk has him giggling
• Midoriya goes on some pointless rant? The expression that follows isn't one he can quite describe but it has him REELING
• He loves it, two days in you already have a rep for 'acting like an American'
• because you really haven't completely settled into culture in Japan
• which he'll totally help you with
• Anyway you eat lunch in his class
• Bc like Mic, he's just one of those teachers that lonely kids gravitate to
• You sit quietly in the corner for a few days
• and everyday he asks how you're doing and adjusting
• There's a drastic difference in how you treat him and the students
• He gets a lot more respect, polite smiles and nods of the head
• "I'm doing well- I still haven't really settled in though," you laugh sheepishly. "Haven't really made friends yet."
"Oh you'll get there, I'm sure,"
"Hope so,"
• He'll definitely shit talk other students with you
• He might not give out their actual name, but you have enough common sense to know who its PROBABLY about
• Your native language is English.
• his native language is Japanese.
• This can be problematic
• Because you'll be sitting in class and he'll be going over something and you'll be like ????
• just completely lost
• sir??? Sir what the fuck are you saying???
• equivalent of 'aye partipradact?? Aye partipiridact skarvern.'
• Because even though you studied Japanese (you kinda had to) being thrust into the country, culture, and language was a lot different than learning it in a classroom.
• lowkey really stressful
• so on days like that, you'll avoid looking around like a lost puppy and just pretend you're taking notes
• he knows tho
• he always fuckin knows
• so tutoring is a big thing
• thats partially what draws y'all closer
• you're in there 3 out of 5 days of the week after school (during lunch too) getting help for what you don't understand
• He'll absolutely have you help grade tests though
• Its great, you know all their secrets
• Denki's a lot smarter than he makes himself out to be, even though he's not making hundreds on the tests, he does really well on the free response parts
• You can usually tell you studied and who didn't tho
• great ammo tho
• For roasts n shit
• "Watch were you look, grape boy, I'm in charge of your test grades."
"Ha! Got em."
"You too,"
• Hizashi takes care of the literature part of tutoring (he also speaks English, he can clarify in a way you understand) and Aizawa takes care of math and history
• He has learned that math is your least favorite and your brain kinda shuts down when math is shown
• You and History vibe though, you love learning about it, just the language barrier can make it confusing sometimes
• This definitely leads to a lot more opening up
• Because well fuck, you're alone in another country, and you're teacher is really the only thing giving you security.
• So he learns a lot about you and about your country
• He'll definitely try to learn a little more English to help you out when he can
• He speaks a little bit, like if he was stranded in America he knows enough to survive with a tiny bit of small talk
• And he can understand more than he can speak
• Thats partially due to his own endeavors but also, hanging around Mic (who speaks fluent english) gets to him too
• He likes hearing about America
• Will dead ads listen to you ramble for as long as you want about it
• he likes the light in your eyes when you tell him about places you'd hang out at or your friends or secret spots
• knowing Aizawa means you know Shinsou
• extra training w them???
• yes.
• Shinsou becoming basically a brother??
• Yes
• Also becoming very close with Hizashi???
• lmao fuck ya
• #deadass family time
• Yall will literally go to lunch like its no big deal
• You and Shinsou falling asleep on each other's shoulder during movie day
• You're still gonna get heavy workload and strict parameters
• bc he wants you to succeed
• though if you need a mental day or it needs to be a little slower bc you're having trouble grasping the concept he's got you covered
• Ngl he gets pretty bummed out when you have to go back
• He's not gonna tell you that straight up tho
• Tho you have his number and he sends you off with a fuckin care package
• and he thinks that the last time he's gonna see you
• ever
• :(
• BUT SIKE
• YOU GET REAPPROVED TO GO BACK
• so you're only gone for like 2 months before you're back
• BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THIS
• So there he is
• Sitting in his classroom earlier than usual
• Just making sure everything is set up right
• And you open the door quietly with a grin
"Hey old man,"
His eyes widened for a split second before he scowls, one with not true malice behind it, "I just can't get rid of you, can I?"
"Nope." Your grin widens. "You missed me though, don't lie."
"Hold on, why are you here?"
"I got reapproved to spend my second year here."
"And you didn't tell me?"
"Nope, it was a surprise. Wasn't hard to do though "
"I gave you that care package for nothing."
"No, I definitely ate all the food on it while I was on the plane."
"Whatever," he shook his head with a small smile. "Help me set up."
"Sir yes sir."
• and so he can survive another year because you're there to keep him sane
#aizawa x child reader#aizawa x daughter reader#aizawa x reader#aizawa shouta#aizawa sensei#my hero academia aizawa#aizawa headcanons#shouta aizawa#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia
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are y’all even surprised rhis owns this shirt
#are y'all#even surprised#he watched this movie ironically and loved it#i lov drawing rhis in his fuckin crazy shirts#yall never ever wanna steal his dumb shirts#❛ THE BOY WHO COULD SEE MONSTERS. ┊┊ rhis.#❛ ┊┊ SKY DRAWS.
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Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling
Peter Parker x sibling!reader
warnings: bullying mention, blood mention
a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm
prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling
peter and you were playful kids
you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him
but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more
peter was a genius, we all know it
he was the one helping you with your homework most nights
“peter i cant do it!”
“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”
“can i say a cuss word?”
“sure”
“math is shit”
you would cry during homework a lot
you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours
and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed
peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo
you’d play action figures together
he was batman, you were robin always
“can i be batman?”
“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”
“but i wanna be batman!”
peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard
and he’d pick you up on his way home
on half-days your brother taught you how to skate
you fell a lot
aunt may had to patch you up
“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”
peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him
you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!
being his photography assistant
really you were his assistant constantly
science fair was the most boring day of the year
“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”
*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*
you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead
it made you very mad but it was scary, too
“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”
“oh, you know, just happened”
“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”
“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”
lonely when he moved onto high school :/
but you got there soon enough
you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer
just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama
“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”
“uhh, a coke?”
you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt
you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes
“what the hell, parker?!”
“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”
peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed
trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you
sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)
*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”
“which one of them is it this time?”
the principal’s office was a trip sometimes
you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded
“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”
“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”
no you fuckin dont lmaoooo
it was always something with you two
like always
*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”
*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”
“is that my jacket?” -peter
“you mean my jacket?”
“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”
“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”
and then there was just the little annoying things
“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”
*clicks pen faster*
“you’re the worst”
and my personal favorite
“peter, open the door”
“why?”
“emergency”
*opens bedroom door* “what?”
“aunt may is making meatloaf”
“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”
peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say
soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them
he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp
“YOU SNUCK IN??”
“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”
soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen
“peter??”
“yeah? whats up?”
“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”
“it happened to you, too??”
“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”
yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house
it was an adjustment to say the least
and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset
you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt
maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words
peter was covered in his blood still
“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”
when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room
then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out
peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers
sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you
“we match?”
*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”
ah yes, spider-team
you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter
peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you
you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out
“uh—peter punched me”
“y/n???!!!”
“I PANICKED”
just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky
seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst
peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes
“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”
“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”
he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES
yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this
but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him
“thats my brotherrrr!!!”
cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)
you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off
he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time
seeing harry osborn again after YEARS
“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”
“aww, it’s good to see you, too”
electrooooo
this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock
you and peter weren’t equipped for that
it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that
and several other problems
including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own
*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”
*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”
you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad
“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”
*thumbs up to show youre still alive*
but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen
he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried
“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”
she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed
“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”
he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this
the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time
he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while
“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”
“love you too”
you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up
“im coming with you”
“you’re sure?”
“yeah, im sure”
(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //
#peter parker x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker#spiderman#spiderman imagine#spiderman x reader#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#andrew garfield#amazing spider man#amazing spider man x reader#amazing spider man imagine#parker!reader#peter parker x sibling!reader#peter parker x sister!reader
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Avengers: College Edition
Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.
Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.
Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.
Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.
Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.
Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.
Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.
Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.
Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.
Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"
Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.
Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.
Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"
Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.
Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)
#Avengers#Avengers crack#avengers au#marvel#marvel au#avengers college au#Steve Rogers#steve x reader#Bucky Barnes#bucky x reader#wanda maximoff#natasha romanov#bruce x natasha#bruce banner#The Avengers#Loki Laufeyson#loki incorrect quotes#loki x reader#avengers incorrect quotes#pietro maximoff#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#Thor Odinson#thor x reader#tony stark#iron man#sam wilson#sam wilson x reader#avengers memes
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Hi, anon from before, here with a match up request. I am usually pretty shy when it comes to talking to new people, especially ones I don't know how to talk to (like now), but once you get past that and we have something in common, I can and will be loud and very talkative. I like sharing stories and tend to overshare some things if I'm not feeling all happy or if I'm passionate about something. I usually offer to fight someone if it harmed my friends and tend to act like a gremlin. I collect shiny rocks, plague masks, feathers, and sticks because they're cool to me. I listen to everyone before making a judgement or sharing advice if needed. I've been told that I am a great leader and tend to see myself in that position when no one else takes charge. I either feel emotions deeply or I don't feel anything at all. I don't judge anyone when they talk to me. I love to draw monsters, mythical creatures, and anatomy and I like to occasionally play volleyball with friends. I listen to music way more than I should and daydream at least every 2 hours. I tend to constantly do research of mythology, especially the gods and goddesses. I also love to fantasy and romance books with the occasional sci-fi book scattered in. I resonate deeply with animals, especially birds and snakes. I also have a hard time focusing on one task for hours on end. My personality type is INFP-T and I hope this was detailed enough!
I match you with...
AVDOL!
Ok but idk why your description just...screamed Avdol to me, ok?? Like the entire passion for mythology and creatures, sensitive nature (as well as either feeling emotions either very intensely or being like..v o i d) thing...alot of things tbh. First of all, you’d def catch his attention just with your aura alone. Although Avdol isn’t particularly extroverted, he’s a very good communicator and would def manage to talk with you whilst also helping you feel comfortable since he just has that energy that makes anyone around him feel at ease no matter what. Yall def have more than enough in common, from your intricate drawings of monsters that he always is very fond of watching you create to aiding you in your research regarding gods since, surprise, surprise, Avdol knows A FUCK TON of info about such things and could spend h o u r s talking to you about topics like these!
He deeply appreciates that you’re a non judgemental person and always hear people out since tbh he strives to do the same usually even if his impulsive nature sometimes gets the best of him (aries kinda beat), but someone who doesn’t jump to conclusions overall is right up his alley. The fact that you’re a great leader also appeals to him tbh since he’s kinda neutral?? Like he can take charge if others want to but if not then he’s just going to vibe in a corner, therefore he really fuckin admires your leadership abilities and thinks you’re pretty goddamn badass. Also your tendency of sometimes not feeling shit at all could prove useful whenever he embarks on yet another dangerous journey since that would mean you wouldn’t panic too much and fuss over him, however don’t get me wrong: this man is extremely compassionate and would ALWAYS check up on you; your well being is his absolute priority. That being said, whenever he’d see you clamping up he’d be quick to come to your aid and tbh he’s so damn good at emotional issues that you’d be fine in no time with this lovely man by your side. Another thing you two have in common is your daydreaming nature as well as being able to relate to animals; yall can’t tell me Avdol ain’t havin a 6th sense when it comes to animals, like they just FLOCK TO HIM ok??? I mean mans got a 6th sense in general b u t-
Avdol is also a superb listener and would be more than glad to both tell you all sorts of stories and tales from his past journeys whilst also being extremely fond of hearing you overshare! Really, he doesn’t mind it at all! That certain sparkle which is born into your orbs whenever you rant to him about a topic you particularly find exciting never fails to leave the man absolutely smitten once again. Also I can def see yall just vibin on the couch, lookin up mythology or cryptid shit, reading a good book (he’s VERY open to all sorts of genres so don’t be afraid to shoot him any suggestions since this man lives off of reading in general) or just...having deep convos. ALSO, ALSO COLLECTION BESTIES!! He himself has all sorts of rocks and cards collections so omg he’d absolutely adore going through yours!! Esp the plague masks like..that’s mcfuckin sicc bro.
#this is a literal match made in heaven b y e#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken#muhammad avdol#Stardust Crusaders#jojo headcanons#Matchups#anon
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Worrick x Chubby!Reader
ummmm not proof reader what so ever so have fun with that
also i cut off the nsfw part because i couldnt stop laughing at the word peen and core that i typed so expect that later
uh yeah reader being insecure and worrick being dumb and cute
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· Worrick x Chubby! Reader
· Absolute flirt and I do mean absolute (as in flirts with everyone) before you guys met
· But when he laid eyes on you every single honey dipped word was lost in the rapid beating of his heart
· Jaw slacked open, all he could do was stare and lemme tell you this man is not embarrassed or anything
· The whole room saw him freeze (including you) resulting in you talking to him first
· You took a couple steps closer to him and said only 2 words
· “uhm hi”
· BOOM boner time
· He snapped out of him small daze and laid the smolder on you immediately
· Worrick leaned in close laying both his big calloused hands on each hip
· As you jump a little in surprise your tummy jiggles a little causing him to squeeze a little fingers digging into your sides
· Feeling the plump(?) skin against him warm and soft made him involuntarily close his eye and groan from the back of his throat
· “and what’s your name darling~”
· Chile after that encounter yall were inseparable
· He wasn’t always quick to show it but Worrick was so fucking happy to have you by his side
· For example, when he has nightmares and he’d wake up in a cold sweat the sight of you next to him would immediately calm down his beating heart
· Usually you’re awake and so he scoots closer to you wrapping his arms around you as you draw or do whatever it is you do on that damn tablet
· However when your not awake he simply squeezes you tighter as you try to squirm away from him (the lil cuddle bug, now he know it’s too damn hot for all that)
· You never expect anything back, but he makes sure to return the love times 10
· Usually though he just ends up making a fool of himself
· Take for example the one time he tried to recreate the scene from magic mike, which was pretty fuckin hot at first
· Until this damn fool went to do the headstand and ripped his pants exposing the teenage mutant ninja turtle underwear you got for him
· Worrick isn’t always a goof though as he often catches you in depressive moods over your weight
· During those times he would often help you through it by spending the whole day with you helping you clean, straighting up, playing video games, watching your favorite youtubers/ tv shows
· His favorite way of making you feel better though is to pick you up
· Yea hush now I see you now saying doubt under your breathe
· This man is ripped, and I do mean ripped
· He would probably ask you to look his way really quick and as soon as you do he would wrap his hands around your waist and lift you up leading you to wrapping your legs around his waist
· You’d protest of course but he’d only tighten his grip leaving on room for escape
· At this point in the relationship, he knows words don’t have such a strong effect on you as he’d like so he learned he’d just have to show you how much he loved you and your body
· With you now securely in his arms he walk slowly to the bed as he pressed nice slow kisses to your (crusty) lips
· He’d pull away slowly looking into your eyes, you both could see the adoration in each other’s eyes but you look away first
· He gently sighed knowing it’d be a long night
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LIKE LIGHTNIN’ - an agent whiskey fic
word count | 3k+
rating: m for sexy times, language
summary: agent whiskey x female reader; you’ve been crushing on agent whiskey for ages - maybe tonight you can do something about it when you’re assigned to be his wife for a mission
a/n: this was just a stab at a fic w/ him so here goes lol hope yall like it! and we’re ignoring what happens at the end of the kingsman movie in this fic
LIKE LIGHTNIN’
From day one of joining the Statesman, you’ve had a crush on Agent Whiskey. Crush is putting it lightly. Your knees shake when you walk towards him. Your heart pounds in your ears if he touches you. Your face burns hot if he talks to you.
Genuinely you do care for him though, make no mistake.You were at his side in the infirmary after he was shot in the head. He jumped up and called you ‘sugar’ and flirted with you and Ginger Ale both. You almost wish she hadn’t shown him the picture of his lost lover. That brief moment of him flirting with you even if it was superficial - felt nice.
He flirts with you casually, you’re easily flustered by him making you a target for fun. But you’re never the girl he takes home.
After he returned with the Kingsman after the Poppy incident, you’d made a promise to yourself to make a move, or at least TRY to admit your feelings. He’s taken other lovers since the one he lost, surely he might be open to getting to know you better.
Your chance would come on your next assignment. You were to accompany Whiskey to a gala as his wife. It was a recon mission really. It was mostly classified information - need to know. And all you needed to know is you’re posing as Whiskey’s wife.
That alone was enough to make you feel sick. You’d be his date the whole night at a nice party. Even if it was fake, you were going to soak it all up.
You were finished getting ready and were waiting on him. Which was no surprise to you. You were given a dress to wear, it was a classic black dress. No back, and smooth velvet. It fit you like a glove and you felt amazing in it. Even Tequila gave you a whistle when he saw you. Ginger Ale gave you an earpiece to put in, and Whiskey would get one as soon as he was ready.
When he was ready and came to get his earpiece, you almost lost your lunch. He looked so handsome cleaned up. His hair was styled perfectly, and his mustache trimmed. He had a sleek tux on, and you felt dizzy when he smiled at you.
“My beautiful wife,” he winked and pressed a kiss to your cheek. His mustache tickled your skin, and you swear his lips left a burn. Ginger Ale gives you a quick glance as she hands Whiskey the earpiece.
She knows better than anyone about your love for him, She knew before you did.
You fight the blush that fights it’s way up your neck, but you just can’t help it. When he kissed you, a strong whiff of his rich cologne hit your nose. It was all too much to take in.
Playing the part, he offers you his arm and you take it, your hand resting on his firm bicep. You feel like a teenager going to prom with her crush. To add to the scenario, a limo arrives to take you to your destination.
A warm hand touches the bare skin on your back and it sends goosebumps up your spine and a spark of heated pleasure to your core. You’re never gonna survive this night.
Once in the limo, you go over your cover names etc. But just being in the same space is making it difficult to breathe.
“You alright darlin’?” he asks observing you. The pet name sends a jab to your heart and you feel your heart jump up your throat.
“Do you have your flask?” you answer his question with your own. “Things like this make me nervous.” And that’s not a lie. Being with him is making you very nervous, but big parties like this aren’t your scene. This is why you work behind the scenes.
He fishes his flask out of his coat pocket and hands it to you. Your fingers barely touch his during the exchange, and you’re not sure if you can take anymore. You know how this night will go. You’ll do the job and then you’ll go back home. You’ll go to your room, and he’ll go to his and tomorrow will be the next mission. The close moments like this will end. So you make a point to enjoy it even though his touch is too much to bear.
You take a swig from his flask, and taste the smooth whiskey. You wince a little at the burn but swallow anyway. He chuckles as you hand back the flask.
“You’re surprised that I like that?” you ask with a laugh.
“Do you?” he asks taking a swig himself.
“No,” you laugh and he cracks a grin from behind the flask.
“So tell me darlin’,” there’s that pet name again, “why do you work for a distillery if you don’t drink?” he takes another swig.
“Didn’t figure that would matter,” you admit. He shrugs, doesn’t bother him you’re not interested in drinking.
The limo ride doesn’t last as long as you’d like, though you’re grateful for fresh air when you step out of the vehicle. Whiskey helps you out, and his hand finds its place on your back again.
Whiskey has a big mouth and he likes to talk - so you let him do most of the talking tonight. You really don’t mind either, you’re his arm candy and you’re getting a good meal. A whole night by his side hearing him talk and smelling his cologne is enough for you.
And you’ll never tire of hearing him introduce you as his wife.
You know Whiskey is working. You’re so used to watching him on the other side of the camera. Years of aching. Watching him flirt with other women. Now you’re the woman. He’s greeting other guests, and putting on the charm. Kissing women’s hands, he’s definitely working. You’re not even sure who you’re supposed to be observing, but he knows.
As the night goes on, it makes you sad. It’s going to be over soon. Your evening with him will come to a close and you’re not ready.
“Your wife is lovely,” a man speaking pulls you from your thoughts. Whiskey has been talking to him for a moment. You can only assume this is the person you’re here to investigate.
“She is,” Whiskey smiles and gives you a wink. Without warning he leans down and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your face burns red, the only thing saving you is it’s not uncommon you think for a wife to blush at her husband’s compliments.
A tiny spot of lipstick is on Whiskey’s bottom lip, and you wipe it off with your thumb. The action draws his attention, and he looks at you. Really looks at you.
“Hey,” he whispers with a smile. You want to crawl into a hole because somehow you know with this look, he’s seeing you.
The wife of the man just speaking ‘awwed’ at your action, turning Whiskey’s head. His hand is still on your back, and you know he can feel you tremble because his hand is moving up and down, thumb rubbing into your skin.
The rest of the night at the party is a blur after that kiss. You’ll take that with you for the rest of your life no matter what. The feel of his soft lips, the brush of his mustache. The way he looked at you when you touched his lip. His big brown eyes will be the death of you.
And before you know it, you’re back at HQ.
Ginger Ale and Tequila debrief you first. Whiskey disappeared to change clothes during your debriefing. You’re so flustered you forget to give the earpiece back after the two of them give you a look - they saw the kiss.
Soon Whiskey comes in the room, and you’re headed out. Whiskey says something about ‘being glad that was over,’ and you feel a gut punch. Your heart sinks, and you leave the room as quickly as possible.
With your earpiece in, you hear everything being said, and it makes you feel worse.
“What’s wrong with her? She ok?” Whiskey’s voice comes in.
“Dumb ass,” Tequila claps him on the shoulder. “Do you really not know she’s in love with you?”
“That was the time of her life tonight, and you just blew it,” Ginger Ale tuts.
You don’t hear anymore because you take the piece out once you reach your room. Angry, embarrassed tears flow down your cheeks. You try and get your dress off, but in your frustrated movements, the zipper gets stuck on your lower back. Groaning, you crumple into a heap on your bed.
You almost don’t hear the knock on your door the first time. But you hear the second knock. It’s not loud, you can tell it’s a knuckle tapping quickly.
Part of you doesn’t even want to open the door. But if you don’t, you might miss your chance. Makeup is already smudged on your face from crying, and your dress in the lower back is half unzipped, you look like a mess. But can’t get worse you guess, so you open the door.
Whiskey looks just like you’d imagine him to on the other side of your door, leaning against the frame casually- except his face. His eyes look a bit sad, and his lips aren’t curved in the usual smirk.
He’s already changed clothes, and even though it’s late - he has his usual hat and jeans. A white tee shirt clings to his tan skin. Your mouth goes dry.
“Hey,” he nods. “Came to apologize.”
“For what?” you ask moving aside so he can come in your room. It dawns on you he’s never been in here. You’ve fantasized about this moment, but what’s happening now is nowhere close to what you imagined.
He’s quiet for a moment, looking around your room. You honestly have no idea what he’s going to say. And from the looks of it, he doesn’t either.
“I’ve been a fuckin’ idiot. I didn’t know, you-”
“Didn’t know I was in love with you?” the words spill out of your lips.
“I don’t know,” he shrugs with a sigh. “I guess I did. I just thought you were easy to flirt with cuz ya always smiled at me. But then tonight,” you didn’t notice as he’d been talking he’d also been walking closer and closer to you. He touched your lower back again and it nearly sent you to your knees, “tonight little darlin’ you were shakin’ in my arms. And the way you looked at me, fuckin’ damn baby. Bring a man to his knees with that look. Guess I thought you were nervous at the party, but baby you hit me like a bolt o’ lightnin’.”
His face is millimeters from yours and you’re still trembling in his arms.
“Then why did you say you were glad to be done after tonight?” you whisper, making eye contact with those dark eyes.
“I was just ready to get outta that monkey suit and into regular clothes,” he grins.
“Oh,” you laugh embarrassed.
“Truth is, I wasn’t ready for the night to end with you. It was nice. So don’t you cry any more tears for ol’ me now ya hear me?” he presses a kiss to your cheek. He’s turning to leave, but you grab his arm.
“Wait.”
He turns quick, and before he can ask what you need, he cups your face with both hands and gives you a real proper kiss on your lips. His warm hands are on the bare skin of your back, and your hands are grasping at his t-shirt. A denim clad knee was about to wedge its way between your legs, but your long velvet gown kept him from it. You giggled when he grunted in protest against your lips.
“We gotta get this off,” he murmurs against your lips.
“Wait,” you say again and make him look you in the eye. “Is this real?” you have to know.
He takes your hand, and brings it down to touch the growing bulge in his jeans, “that feel real to you?” he asks, mischief in his tone and he bucks himself more into your hand. He delights in the flush on your cheeks.
“I mean it,” you say pulling your hand away. Quick as lightning, he grabs your hand again, and puts it over his heart. It’s a steady thunder deep in his chest.
“Let me take care of you little darlin’,” he brings that hand up to his mouth to kiss your fingertips. “I told ya, being with you tonight made me realize that I’ve wanted you too.”
“Then help me take this dress off,” you gasp. Your head is spinning. “The zipper is stuck.”
“I’ll get it,” he goes around behind you. The zipper is small on your lower back. First he tries to yank it apart, which doesn’t work. Then he fishes out his pocketknife from his jean pocket. A quick cut and the zipper is free.
Now you’re free to get out of the dress.
Oh.
Now you’re free to get out of the dress. It’s backless, you’ve got no bra on. Once this thing comes off it’s only a pair of panties between you and Whiskey’s damn tight jeans.
You’ve stood frozen for too long, and he notices.
“What’s wrong sweet pea?”
Your back is still to him, and you’re holding the dress to yourself. It won’t fall off unless you pull it but you still feel like you need to hold it.
“I’m nervous,” you whisper.
You feel his mustache before you feel his lips on your bare shoulder.
“Ain’t nothin’ to worry about darlin’,” he kisses your skin. The charm is coming on strong. But still there’s a gentleness to his tone. This isn’t like other lovers. The ones who fling themselves at him. He’s looking out for you.
“Whiskey-”
“Sweetheart, call me Jack,” he kisses your shoulder again.
He waits til you start to move the dress off yourself, and he reaches up to help. Soon the dress is off you completely and in a big black heap of fabric on the floor.
You’re clad now only in a pair of underwear, You’ve crossed your arms over your chest, still feeling nervous.
“Turn around,” he says. You’ve memorized what Jack’s voice sounds like, but somehow in your room speaking to you it sounds so different.
You turn to face him, arms not moving from your chest.
“Little darlin’,” he smiles and puts his hands on your shoulders. “Come on, you gonna let me see?” Damn him and his charm.
He wraps his arms around you in a hug, and he pulls your arms off yourself to wrap around him. Now your chest is pressed against his.
He takes one step back. His eyes still locked with yours, and your arms still around his shoulders.
“You gonna let me?” he asks, his eyes are sincere, but his grin is devilish.
One nod from you is all it takes before he looks down between you. He eyes your chest, and licks his lips.
“This was what you were hidin’ from me?” his hands are quick to grab a handful of each breast. That’s when your knees buckle. His laugh in your ear is so playful. You’d smack that cocky smile off his face if you didn’t love it so much.
“Fuckin’ hell, you feel good,” he kisses your neck as his hands massage your flesh. Then he drops his head to a breast and sucks a nipple into his mouth, his mustache brushes against sensitive skin and you cry out. He chuckles again and backs you up towards your bed. Gently he guides you down until you’re on your back. He sucks your nipples and sucks hickies all over your chest.
“Jack,” you whine.
Quick fingers dance down your stomach and into the band of your underwear.
“This all for me?” he kisses your stomach while he feels the slick between your legs. He wastes no time sticking a couple fingers in your heat and pressing a thumb to your clit. Your moan is embarrassingly loud, which only fuels him on. He barely touches you before you’re coming hard around his fingers.
“Fuck, I bet you got a couple more for me don’t ya? How many?”
“As many as you want, oh fu-” you can’t even finish the sentence you’re trying to catch your breath.
He sucks his fingers off, and the sound is obscene. This feels like a dream. A sexy dream you couldn’t even comprehend.
Leaving you on the bed to breathe a moment, he takes off his hat and peels off his shirt. He sits down on the bed next to you, legs spread wide. And he pulls you up over into his lap so you’re straddling a thick thigh.
“You’re gonna ride baby,” he tells you. The pressure of his leg between yours almost sends you over the edge right then. You can’t help but admire his tan skin now that he’s shirtless in front of you. He looks perfect.
Grabbing your hips, he starts to guide you. Your center pressing against him. There’s not enough friction, and you groan and stop him so you can take your underwear off.
“That’s it,” he tells you when you get back on his thigh and move. The friction is delicious, and almost hurts. But soon a thumb works you over, and your juices are leaking out on the denim.
“Good girl,” he tells you and kisses your neck. “You got one more for me?”
Your chest heaves, but you nod. You’ve been wanting him for ages, you’re not gonna waste it.
Shifting back a little on his leg, he makes quick work to unbuckle his heavy belt and unzip his pants. Your mouth waters when he pulls himself out, you’d always wondered what he looked like. Now you know, and now you need to feel. You push his hand away to touch him, he raises a brow watching you. Then he lets out a sharp hiss between his teeth. You shudder to feel him.
His hands find you hips again, and he eases you down onto him. Both of you groan together, and you can’t help but smile into his neck.
“How long you been thinking about this hmm?” he teases and thrusts his hips up.
“Shut the hell up Whiskey,” you laugh and bite down on his neck.
Your bodies move together wonderfully. You’re still sensitive from your last two - and this third orgasm isn’t as sharp but the pleasure is all the same.
And when he finds his release, his groan in your ear is one you’ll never forget.
He pulls back and lets out a whistle, “damn darlin’. I mean DAMN.”
You can’t help but laugh and blush, and fall back into the crook of his neck to hide from his eyes.
When you pull back to look at him, he looks wonderful. His hair is messy (thanks to you) and his lips are plump from the kissing. Even the hairs on his mustache are askew. His eyes are heavy with exhaustion from pleasure, and his grin says it all.
“Don’t leave for your room,” you tell him combing your fingers through his hair. “I couldn’t bear it if you left.”
“Little darlin’ I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
//
@pajamasecrets / @mandoplease / @spacedadheadcanons
#agent whiskey#kingsman the golden circle#agent whiskey x reader#mine#my gifs#my writing#i have no idea what to tag this as lol
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1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!
FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:((
1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?
-spotify
2. is your room messy or clean?
-it’s pretty messy i guess
3. what color are your eyes?
-blue and grey
4. do you like your name? why?
-yeah it’s fine
5. what is your relationship status?
-single
6. describe your personality in 3 words or less
-certified intrusive thot
7. what color hair do you have?
-brown and rn it’s red
8. what kind of car do you drive? color?
-i dont have a car
9. where do you shop?
-hot topic, goodwill, target
10. how would you describe your style?
-comfy emo
11. favorite social media account
-of mine, probably discord or youtube
12. what size bed do you have?
-twin >:((
13. any siblings?
-i have 1.5 brothers
14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?
-probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit
15. favorite snapchat filter?
-i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute
16. favorite makeup brand(s)
-i dont wear makeup
17. how many times a week do you shower?
-i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower
18. favorite tv show?
-stranger things
19. shoe size?
-8 or 9
20. how tall are you?
-5′6 with shoes >:((
21. sandals or sneakers?
-sneakers wtf
22. do you go to the gym?
-lol no
23. describe your dream date
-making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars
24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?
-quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao
25. what color socks are you wearing?
-not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length)
26. how many pillows do you sleep with?
-just one but it sucks
27. do you have a job? what do you do?
-NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS
28. how many friends do you have?
-like 4 lmao
29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?
-idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did
30. whats your favorite candle scent?
-juniper rosewood
31. 3 favorite boy names
-leo, clay, charlie
32. 3 favorite girl names
-ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got
33. favorite actor?
-no clue
34. favorite actress?
-no clue
35. who is your celebrity crush?
-not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom
36. favorite movie?
-nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands
37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?
-no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk
38. money or brains?
-CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao
39. do you have a nickname? what is it?
- a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy
40.how many times have you been to the hospital?
-just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/
41. top 10 favorite songs
-please dont make me do this i dont have it in me
42. do you take any medications daily?
-yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough
43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)
-i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know
44. what is your biggest fear?
-it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though
45. how many kids do you want?
-like 2 or 3 eventually
46. whats your go to hair style?
-in my face, looking stupid
47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)
-it’s pretty small
48. who is your role model?
-i dont fuckin know lmao
49. what was the last compliment you received?
- “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine)
50. what was the last text you sent?
-”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO
51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?
-i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess
52. what is your dream car?
-i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works
53. opinion on smoking?
-cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.
54. do you go to college?
-no. am sophomore n highschool
55. what is your dream job?
-musician/palentologist
56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?
-fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban??
57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?
-no but i take the little soaps >:))
58. do you have freckles?
-yes
59. do you smile for pictures?
-awkwardly, yes
60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?
-dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit
61. have you ever peed in the woods?
-yes
62. do you still watch cartoons?
-cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow?
63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?
-i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care
64. Favorite dipping sauce?
-i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great
65. what do you wear to bed?
-wouldnt you like to know? ;))
66. have you ever won a spelling bee?
-NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :((
67. what are your hobbies?
-lol what hobbies
68. can you draw?
-i am physically able to draw, but not well, no
69 (haha). do you play an instrument?
-yeah i play a few
70. what was the last concert you saw?
-i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016
71. tea or coffee?
-hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though)
72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?
-starbucks
73. do you want to get married?
-sure why not
74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?
-dont have a crush
75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?
-idk maybe
76. what color looks best on you?
-i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope
77. do you miss anyone right now?
-yeah
78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?
-closed
79. do you believe in ghosts?
-on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t.
80. what is your biggest pet peeve?
-whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment
81. last person you called
-my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40)
82. favorite ice cream flavor?
-chocolate is dope
83. regular oreos or golden oreos?
-regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.
84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?
-rainbow cause it’s prettier
85. what shirt are you wearing?
-queen shirt from hot topic
86. what is your phone background?
-i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background
87. are you outgoing or shy?
-really depends on who i’m around
88. do you like it when people play with your hair?
-YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-)
89. do you like your neighbors?
-to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell
90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?
-whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy
91. have you ever been high?
-i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself
92. have you ever been drunk?��
-not that i can remember, no
93. last thing you ate?
-sloppy joe from a can
94. favorite lyrics right now
-”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“
95. summer or winter?
-fall. fuck you
96. day or night?
-night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed
97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?
-dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries
98. favorite month?
-i vibe with september
99. what is your zodiac sign
-sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:)))
100. who was the last person you cried in front of?
-in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/
felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3
also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3
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Dan The Personal Assistant Part 9
Dan has to submit an application video to be an assistant for a company President, Mr. Lester. But what happens when he accidentally sends a wrong video?
2874 words of Dom!Phil, sub!dan, smut
I guess one good thing about this corona virus pandemic is that I finally have some free time off work to write again omg. Hope yall are doing okay in these uncertain times, here’s a long overdue chapter finally!!
~ Part 8 ~
~Part 10~
or read on ao3!
Dan came in early the next day. He helped to tidy up the mess on his boss’s desk that was left and prepared his drink as usual. He felt a slight buzz of excitement and anticipation, not knowing what his boss would do now. Now that they’ve taken a step up in their relationship and had sex. He almost couldn’t believe it happened at all, but the stretch in his bum served as a reminder that it was indeed real. He’d gone home trying his best not to walk side to side, with his head in the clouds and butterflies in his stomach.
He hoped that Phil wouldn’t freak and draw a line between them again. But he could never guess with his boss; the man was unpredictable.
-----
Phil had a rather sleepless night. There was a small but persistent thought from the back of his mind that there was only one thing that could help him sleep, and that was to have someone next to him in bed. A warm and calm presence that would hug him tight. And not just anyone.
He’d spent the night thinking about his assistant. He couldn’t get him out of his mind, from the feeling of touching his soft skin to the sound of his sweet moans. Could this even be considered as love or even a crush, or was he just a disgusting man who can’t stop lusting?
He didn’t know where to go from here. But he knew that he didn’t regret his actions. In fact he wished he’d done it earlier. He thought it could be an exaggeration, but it honestly felt like a privilege that Dan allowed him to have sex with him.
-------
He trudged his way to his office, and was thankful to be greeted by the scent of his usual coffee ready for him.
“Morning, Sir!” Dan couldn’t quite stop his face from beaming as his boss entered the room.
“You’re rather cheery this morning,” Phil found his boy’s smile to be contagious as his lips perked up as well.
“Mmm guess I had a good night’s sleep,” Dan purred as he inched his way closer to Phil’s chair.
“I bet you did,” Phil chuckled, and ruffled Dan’s hair when the boy was within reach.
“Do you...need anything before you start the day, Sir?” Dan said suggestively.
Phil seemed to consider for a moment, before he took a sip of his coffee.
“It’s alright, pet.”
Dan tried not to look disappointed.
“Thank you for helping to clear my desk, though, what a good boy I have,” Phil added cheekily to rid Dan of his pout.
He giggled at how Dan’s cheeks turned pink instead.
------
Dan knew he shouldn’t be expecting things to turn 180 degrees just because they’ve had sex once. Obviously Phil couldn’t drop his work to spend all day fucking him, he knew that. He was hired mostly as a stress reliever, not a distraction. But Dan will be damned if he continued denying himself of what he now knows as the best sex he could possibly have, and that’s saying a lot since he’s had a lot of sex with different people in his life.
Perhaps it was because he’d never loved any of his fuckbuddies this way before.
He left his boss alone to do his work undisturbed for most of the morning, until it was almost lunchtime.
“I can help order in something for lunch,” he offered, which Phil was grateful for as he had too much work to focus on to even think about food.
“What do you want to have?”
Phil side-eyed his boy, who’d crawled over to sit on his heels right by his knee. He squinted at those big brown eyes staring up at him. He sounded a bit too suggestive for the question to be just an innocent one.
“That Mexican place again is fine for me,” he replied blankly, half hoping that Dan wouldn’t continue whatever it was his mind was planning.
The boy got busy for a a minute ordering on his phone, but he was quick and was by his side again in no time.
“You should take a break, Sir, it’s lunchtime after all,” Dan purred, gently putting his hands on his boss’s shoulders and beginning to massage him.
Boy’s getting brave, Phil thought. He still had a small part of him afraid to take things further, but in that moment, with his boy expertly soothing out the tensions in his shoulders, he decided that if he can’t take the lead, maybe he’ll let Dan do it and see where he takes them instead.
So Phil leaned back in his seat and allowed himself to be immersed in the massage.
Dan was stood behind Phil’s chair, and he contemplated his next moves while kneading the knots out of Phil’s shoulders. He wanted so badly a repeat of the previous day, as desperate as it seemed. And he really was desperate enough that in this moment, he was over being shy or scared anymore. But he knew that he had to be careful in how to get what he wanted.
“So many knots,” he commented, “you need to relax more, you’re so stressed all the time.”
“Well thanks for helping me relax,” Phil murmured as he sunk further in his seat, closing his eyes and allowing himself to stop worrying about work for a bit.
“It’s what I’m here for, aren’t I?” Dan chuckled.
“Mmm,” Phil hummed in agreement.
“I can help you relax in other ways,” Dan suggested quietly, his hands on the back of Phil’s neck slowing down.
“And what would that be?” Phil asked, wanting to see how far Dan could take things.
Dan was rather nervous, unsure if Phil would be okay with him making a move. Phil was usually the one who initiated their play. But he took Phil’s question as a green light.
So he slowly walked around the chair to straddle his boss.
Phil looked up at Dan in what Dan thought was surprise and amusement, but there was no rejection, so Dan decided that he’d just go for it today.
He slowly sat on Phil’s lap, holding onto Phil’s shoulders for balance and maintaining eye contact despite feeling his heart go wild with nerves. Phil’s hands landed gently on his waist, fitting perfectly there as if they were made to mould together. His blue eyes staring up at him were inquisitive, as if waiting to see what he’d do next.
“Use me again,” Dan whispered.
Phil could feel Dan’s breath against his lips as he spoke.
“Yeah?” Phil’s grip on his waist tightened, and it felt like deja vu for both of them.
“Please,” Dan blushed, biting on his bottom lip as his gaze flickered between his boss’s eyes and lips.
Dan swallowed thickly. He’s had enough of waiting. In that moment, he couldn’t care less if he’d be thrown out and jobless the next day. It would drive him crazy if he had to stop himself from having just a taste of what’s right in front of him, mere centimetres apart, yet again.
Before he could second guess himself again, he closed the gap between them. His heart was pounding and it felt like time had stopped, but it was a mere peck on Phil’s lips.
His eyes fluttered back open just as quickly as they’d closed. He licked his own lips, feeling the lingering pressure of that one second of pure bliss of Phil’s lips against his. It was the lightest and quickest kiss he’s ever had, yet the most intimate one he’s ever felt.
Phil was looking back at Dan in surprise. At the back of his mind, he sort of always knew that Dan would be the one to break and make the first move before he could even dare to think of doing it, yet he still couldn’t quite believe what had just occured.
The butterflies in Dan’s stomach were having a riot, and his mind was racing with thoughts, mostly afraid that Phil would be angry with him for crossing some line. Besides the mild surprise on his face, Phil hadn’t done or said anything and Dan had no idea what Phil could possibly be feeling. It was probably only a few seconds but it felt like they were both sat in quiet shock for ages.
The silence caused Dan to grow anxious, and he had to break it before it got too much for him.
“I’m sorr-”
Before Dan could even let his words out, Phil had lunged forward to kiss Dan again. It was as if a switch in his mind finally clicked, and now all he could think of is that there is nothing more he wanted in the world in this moment than to kiss his boy. There hasn’t been anything more he wanted in a while.
Dan was taken aback, his eyes going wide for a second as he registered what was happening before shutting them again. Phil wasn’t holding back, his lips pressed hard against Dan’s and he started licking at Dan’s lips to get him to open up for him. Dan held onto Phil’s shoulders as he felt himself being pushed backwards by Phil’s sheer force.
Dan opened his mouth, letting Phil in to dominate the kiss. Phil tasted of the coffee he made in the morning, and his lips fit perfectly with Dan’s.
Phil refused to let his mind convince him that this is a bad idea. He didn’t care, not right now anyways. Not when Dan tasted so sweet, sounded so eager with his little breathy whines. All he could focus on was Dan, his weight on his lap and his hands gripping his shoulders for dear life. Not that Dan would fall if he let go of his shoulders when Phil’s own hard grip on Dan’s waist was bound to leave marks.
Phil never wanted to break the kiss. His other hand fit firmly around the back of Dan’s neck to keep him there. He bit on Dan’s bottom lip, and his cock twitched at the sound of Dan’s whimper.
He finally let go of Dan when he really needed air. They both panted, still fuzzy and in slight disbelief of what just happened.
“Fuckin’ hell,” Phil uttered as he hastily unzipped his pants while Dan reached behind himself to get the lube out of the desk drawer.
They were both feeling too impatient to take their time doing proper preparations. They drizzled some lube onto their fingers and Phil quickly slicked up his cock while Dan stuck two fingers into himself.
“’m ready,” Dan said almost immediately, not wanting to waste another second.
“You sure?”
He honestly still felt stretched from the sex they had yesterday, and didn’t feel the need to prep any more. He liked to feel the sting anyway. He nodded frantically, getting lube on Phil’s suit as he gripped Phil’s shoulder.
“Ride me, then,” Phil ordered, a little breathlessly.
Dan lifted his hips, both hands on Phil’s shoulders to steady himself, Phil’s hands on his hips guiding him.
In one smooth movement, he sat all the way down on his boss’s cock, and both moaned in sync. Phil dug his nails into his boy’s soft skin at his hips, keeping him still as he started thrusting up into the boy.
Dan threw his head back and moaned. It felt so good, and he felt even more full being in this position compared to their time yesterday. Dan was sure that the marks he’d have on his hips would be similar to those he’d leave on Phil’s shoulders.
Phil watched his boy’s reactions to his short hard thrusts up into his ass. His boy’s pale neck looked so tempting all exposed as his head was thrown back, so he let go of one side of Dan’s hips to grip at the back of Dan’s neck instead and bring him closer to his mouth. He relished in the way Dan groaned when he sunk his teeth into his neck.
“C’mon,” Phil grunted in between sucking hickeys, encouraging Dan to ride him.
Phil stopped thrusting his hips so Dan had to start moving. Dan started a pace of bouncing on his boss’s lap, moaning uncontrollably as Phil’s mouth moved lower onto his collarbone and upper chest.
Once Phil had had a taste, he couldn’t stop. Dan’s skin felt so tender and soft against his lips and he wanted to decorate every inch of it with marks. He’d wanted to do it since the first time Dan undressed for him.
Phil had to reluctantly stop kissing Dan’s skin though, only because he had to remind his boy of where they were, and that people might hear him.
When he was satisfied with the hickeys he’d given, he sat back and decided to let Dan put all the effort and just enjoy the show.
Dan felt himself blush hard as he noticed that Phil was no longer focused on marking his skin, instead just sitting back and gazing up at him with a little smile on his face. He felt a little exposed, seeing as Phil was still fully clothed. His thighs trembled with the effort as he continued bouncing on Phil’s lap. He clenched his ass and rolled his hips as he rode his boss, making his boss groan lowly.
Phil admired the red marks he’d decorated all over his boy’s neck and collarbones. He moaned deep as his boy squeezed around his cock. He loved how his boy was looking all shy and innocent, cheeks pink while behaving the total opposite as he bounced on his lap. His cock was leaking precum, standing between both their stomachs.
Phil leaned back into his seat further, changing his position just a bit, but enough for his cock to hit Dan’s prostate directly. It sent Dan’s eyes rolling back, and he bit his lip to stifle his loud moan. He ground down harder on his boss’s cock.
Phil wrapped his hand loosely at the head of Dan’s cock. Dan whined, needing more friction on his shaft. But Phil simply smirked cheekily, not moving his hand lower.
“Fuck into my hand to get yourself to come, yeah that’s it,” Phil instructed, so Dan had to move almost all the way off of Phil’s cock for his own cock to receive a stroke from Phil’s hand.
Dan’s body sheened with sweat as he repeated the movements of sitting almost all the way up to get jerked off by Phil, then moving back down to sit fully on Phil’s cock. He was panting and grunting, but the pleasure was worth the workout.
It felt amazing for Phil, and he didn’t even need to do anything but sit there and admire his boy hard at work to pleasure both of them. His other hand snaked up to Dan’s chest and started tugging on one nipple.
Dan whimpered at all the sensations. He slumped his forehead onto his hand on Phil’s shoulder as he sped up his movements, feeling his orgasm approaching quicker with every time his prostate was pressed against as he sat down on Phil’s cock, every time Phil’s hand squeezed his shaft as he sat up, every time Phil pinched and twisted his nipples.
“Gonna come, Sir,” he told Phil breathlessly.
“Don’t you get a drop on my suit,” Phil warned, but he started jerking Dan off earnestly.
Dan whimpered and whined as Phil started thrusting his hips again, helping him reach his orgasm.
“Gonna-”
Dan was interrupted by Phil’s lips pressed against his once again. Just as Phil’s tongue slipped between his lips, he came. He felt Phil aim his dick to spurt onto his own stomach, the same time he felt his heart burst with emotions he couldn’t even comprehend in the moment. Phil started groaning into his mouth, and he felt warm liquid fill his ass up too.
They kissed each other through their orgasms until they both calmed down. Dan was panting when Phil finally broke the kiss. He could feel Phil’s hand still wrapped loosely around his softening dick, so he looked down to see the mess he’d spilled onto Phil’s hand and his stomach.
He smiled cheekily as he took Phil’s wrist, “Didn’t get any on your suit.”
Phil chuckled as he watched his boy lick his own cum off his fingers. “You’re a cheeky little cumslut, aren’t you?”
Dan answered by sucking Phil’s thumb, swirling his tongue around the digit in his mouth while blinking at him innocently, and he felt Phil’s dick still in his ass twitch.
“Hope you’re more relaxed now,” Dan winked as he moved off of his boss’s lap.
He excused himself and went straight into the bathroom to silently squeal at the fact that he finally finally kissed Phil, staying in there until their food came.
Phil was rather glad that Dan hid himself in the bathroom, because he needed time alone to process what happened too. But for once, he never had conflicting thoughts or any negativity creeping into his mind about how things could fall apart. In fact, for the first time, he was convinced that everything would be alright between them.
----------
~Part 8~
~Part 10~
I know it’s not much after disappearing for ages but hey!! they finally kissed!! ＼(>o<)ノ
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since SOMEONE wasnt careful about their wording and deliberately dragged me into unrelated bullshit so let me reiterate: i dont fuckin draw “gore”
gore is heavy blood and guts and violence. it’s usually for shock value and even though seeing it doesnt faze me much anymore since im quite interested in biology there isnt much artistic merit to it. sometimes its even fetishistic which is kinda uhhh ew. i wouldnt draw gore of a child and prrrobably not even of an adult. theres really nothing of value in it for me
if you Have to classify my art it would fall under body horror (theres a difference)—quite tame at that anyway, more unsettling/uncanny and surreal than disgusting. like if david lynch sprinkled some of his dark dream magic on mother 3
but why is my art so dark anyway? i use the mother 3 characters still to help me deal with the lingering feelings of grief over losing my parent at a young age. my art is very personal to me and because i relate to them so much i project onto them because im still hurting. its very cathartic
mother 3 is a dark game and there are tons of dark themes in it to begin with to be explored like death and sadness and reanimated corpses and drugs and psychological horror and dreams. only reason the color palette is bright because it was made on the GBA which had no backlight. but its helped me a lot and completely changed my life and made me discover who im comfortable being and what appeals to me emotionally. based on fan content im actually fairly surprised at the amount of people who treat mother 3 like a bright and happy game like mother 1 and earthbound were and not a dark and emotionally mature game..like yall DONT draw dark mother 3 stuff?
anyway dont lump me in on a callout post with some people i dont even know because we share a discord server i havent been active in for at least four months. try to get information from more than one person to verify claims before posting something because they may be biased and uninformed. and finally, to whatever coward hiding behind anonymity said i drew “gore” and brought me into this unrelated mess in the first place, at least try to have your claims founded next time? they must wanna see my name trashed reeeal bad if theyre doing that but thats a them problem not mine
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French Fries and Feelings
PAIRING: Harry/Y/N
RATING: R bitches!
WORD COUNT: 3.5k
REQUESTED: nope, i was just feelin inspired!
this took me roughly four hours to churn out, and i wrote it while i was supposed to be studying for midterms. are my priorities fucked? yes. do i regret it? no.
anyway, i’m SUPER proud of this one-shot and i rly hope yall like it! if u do, please don’t hesitate to give me feedback, it means the world! also, gentle reminder to REBLOG THE FICS YOU LIKE!!! it’s the only way for us writers to get our work out there. i love yall, take care, and happy reading!! xo
~*~
"Harry!" You knock four times on the door with a loose fist. "Open up, I know you're in there!"
There's a muffled bang from inside the apartment, and then he's indeed there, swinging open the door and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. In your inebriated state, you're painfully aware of the fact that he's only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, his feet and chest bare. His dark tattoos are on display, seeming to shift and flutter against his skin as he steps forward and is met with the bright light of the hallway.
"'Course I'm here," Harry growls, squinting tiredly. "It’s two in the fuckin' morning, love. Couldn't this wait?"
"No," you say stubbornly, and then you're holding up the small, red carton in your hand. "Nick and I stopped for some munchies, but the McDonald's we were at said that they ran out of salt. Can you believe that? Fucking salt!"
"The nerve."
"I know!" you flip your hair over your shoulder, wobbling a bit in the heels that are just a bit too tall for you. You should have known to bring an extra pair of flats, but the purse slung over your body is too small, and you had wanted to look good; it had been a while since you joined your friends for a night out.
"Not to be rude," Harry starts, burying his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. "But what does waking me up at two in the bloody morning have to do with your shitty food?"
"I need to salt them, don't I?" You say, lifting one eyebrow theatrically. Harry's lips part in surprise, and you're hit with the sudden urge to just lurch forward and cover his mouth with your own. His eyes are puffy, and his cheeks are rosy, and he looks so soft, even though you know that his biceps—when flexed—could rival the size of your head.
"You’re here 'cause you need to salt your chips?" Harry echoes, and you nod enthusiastically. He shakes his head and chuckles. "That's so fucking stupid."
"Fuck you!" you protest. "I like salty stuff!"
Immediately, you regret your sentence, and you want to curl into a drunk, embarrassed ball when Harry smirks darkly. He leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest, and you cover your face with your free hand (mostly to hide your humiliation, but also because it's the only way that you'll be able to keep yourself from ogling him).
"You gonna let me in, or what?" you pout, your words a bit muffled from behind your palm. Harry just releases an exasperated chuckle, stepping to the side and gesturing for you to come in. You peek through your fingers and stagger forward, and he flips on the light so that you can make out your way down the hall.
"Should probably take off your shoes," he tells you. "One step away from twisting an ankle, you are."
"Don't tell me what to do," you mutter, but you still bend down, reaching for the clasp of your heels. You shriek when you nearly lose your balance, and a few of the fries in your hand spill onto the floor.
“Shit,” Harry says, instinctively placing his hands on your waist to steady you. Your eyelids flutter shut for only a moment when you register the heat of his palms, but then you reach forward and press your forearm against the wall of his front entrance to keep yourself from falling.
“Sorry,” you moan solemnly and hang your head, as though you’re mourning the fries you’ve lost.
Harry chuckles, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean it in the morning.”
You nod, still fumbling with the strap of your shoes and whining in frustration, your fingers clumsy and uncoordinated in your current state. Harry sighs, squeezing your sides to get your attention. You peer up at him and he tilts his chin downward before saying, “Sit down, yeah? I’ll get them off.”
“I’ll get you off,” you grumble, mildly upset that he seems to think that you can’t even remove your footwear. Only a moment later do you truly process your words, and then you’re gasping, whipping your head around and covering your face once more.
Harry cackles, the sound raspy and deep. You groan, completely mortified yet again. Harry bites his lip to keep his smile from splitting across his face, sniffling slightly as he watches you with twinkling eyes.
“Maybe later,” he says, winking playfully. “Came here for only one thing, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” you choke out. “Salt.”
Harry nods; he’s trying to act serious, but he’s doing a terrible job. “That’s right. Salt.”
You teeter backward, stopping only once you feel the wall hit your shoulders. With a quiet grunt, you slide down the surface, ending up on the floor with your legs extended in front of you. Harry smiles softly, kneeling down in front of you and coaxing your foot into his lap. You stay silent as he unclasps the strap of your heel from around your ankle, his large hands surprisingly gentle as he pulls it off. He removes the other shoe just as effortlessly, and you moan appreciatively and flex your toes, happy to be rid of the awful footwear.
“Better?”
“Yeah.” You pause before adding, “Marry me, please.”
Harry laughs again.
~*~
Once you’ve finally gotten the salt in your grasp, Harry needs to physically pull it away after seeing how much you dump into the carton of fries. “Oi!” he yelps, his long fingers circling around your wrist. You whine in protest when he pries the shaker from your grip, but he just shakes his head disbelievingly.
“Gonna give yourself a heart attack,” he huffs out.
You pout, and he reaches up, flicking your protruding bottom lip with his thumb. A shiver runs down your spine at the contact, and you suddenly realize how close he’s standing. His hip is pressed against the side of your knee, and you have to fight the urge to shift from where you’re sat on the counter and to eliminate what little space is left.
Harry seems to notice at the same time, setting the salt down next to the sink and peering up at you intensely. It’s usually quite easy for you to read him—all you have to do is meet his gaze. He’s always been good at controlling the other features of his face, but his eyes…his eyes reveal everything. They’ve shown you every emotion that he’s harboured: joy, sadness, anger, disgust. If the eyes really are a window to the soul, then Harry truly has bared himself to you—has let you strip down all his layers to reach the very essence of who he is.
But this…
You’ve never seen him like this.
His pupils have dilated, leaving only a thin ring of green to circle the black. You would usually attribute this look to that of anger, but something is off. When he’s angry, his gaze is shallow, like he’s closed himself off from all further interactions. This is different—it appears as though his stare is never-ending, like he’s opening himself up to more. It’s penetrating, it’s incessant, and it’s searing. It ignites every cell in your body and sets you aflame.
“Want a fry?” you ask, and then the moment is gone. You hold out the red carton as the words scrape against the roof of your mouth, and Harry’s eyes reflexively fall to your hand. He blinks a few times before nodding slightly.
“Just one,” he concedes, before flashing you a wicked grin. “Gotta reward myself for doing some late-night charity work.”
You gasp, shoving at his bare shoulder before he can pluck a fry out of the cardboard container. “You dick!”
“I’m joking!” Harry laughs, holding up his arms to shield himself from any further blows. “Christ, woman!”
“Take it back,” you order sulkily. “You know I’m an emotional drunk.”
“Fine,” Harry smiles; his eyes are tender when they meet yours. “I take it back, yeah? You’re wonderful.”
You sniffle. “Thank you.”
Harry watches as you set down your fries and hold out your arms, evidently waiting for him to step into your embrace. He grins and places a firm hand on your knee, angling it to the side so that he has enough room to slot himself in between your legs and wrap his arms around your midsection. You sigh contentedly, hooking your chin onto his shoulder as he buries his face in your neck. The two of you stay like that for a little while, and your body relaxes a bit more as each second draws out slowly.
“H?” you say.
He hums, gearing up to pull away, but you only squeeze him tighter. “No, no, stay there. You’re warm.”
He’s warm, yes, but you refrain from telling him that it’ll also be much easier for you to speak if he’s not staring into your soul with those fucking eyes.
“Alright,” he chuckles. “What is it, then?”
You squeeze your eyes shut, biting your lip fiercely before letting the words tumble out. “I didn’t come here for just one thing.”
“What do you mean?” Harry’s breath tickles your collarbones.
“Like—,” you silently curse yourself for not being articulate enough, “I needed the salt, yeah, because those fries tasted like complete shit without it—,” Harry’s body rumbles with a quiet snicker, “—but also…I wanted to see you, y’know?”
You’re staring up at the ceiling now, praying that he can’t feel the wild thumping of your heart. He’s silent, completely still against you, and you know that if he doesn’t speak up soon, you’re going to cry. There’s already a hot pinch behind your eyes, and your throat has closed up, leaving you with no other choice but to wait for the tears.
And then you feel it.
It’s soft at first—so soft that you think you’d imagined it. But then it happens again, a bit firmer this time, a bit damper, and your breathing stutters to a stop.
“Is this okay?” Harry rasps. The deep quality of his voice makes you shudder.
You nod against his shoulder before realizing that he can’t see you, and so you whisper out a quiet yet firm, “Yes.”
That’s all the permission he needs, then, and he continues, littering soft kisses along the skin of your neck. Your body melts into his, and you’re sure you would have fallen backward if not for the way that his arms are tightly wound around your waist.
Your eyelids flutter shut, and you allow one of your hands to slip down, your palm splaying flat against his back. You feel the way his muscles shift and contract beneath the smooth skin, and the sensation alone has you wanting to squeeze your thighs together to relieve the pressure that’s slowly but surely building at your core.
“Harry,” you breathe. “Harry, I’m—”
“What?” he questions lowly, pulling his face out of your neck. The two of you are finally face-to-face again, and though it should make you nervous, it only spurs you on.
“I like you,” you blurt. “Or—or I ‘fancy’ you, or whatever the hell you want to hear. But…yeah.”
Harry grins; his right hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb rubbing idle circles against your cheek. “I like slash fancy you, too,” he says. “’If that wasn’t obvious already.”
“It wasn’t.” You chew on your bottom lip and laugh nervously.
Harry cocks an eyebrow. “No? Better figure out a way to show you, then.” He smirks for a moment, but then his expression falters and melts into serious sincerity. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”
“It is,” you say quickly, nodding enthusiastically. “It is.”
He grins before leaning in and slotting his lips against yours.
You’ve always imagined what it would be like to kiss Harry. You’ve often caught yourself wondering about the texture of his lips, and the way they would move against yours. You’ve thought long and hard about his technique, whether he likes to work his way up to more intense movements or if he just simply dives in because he can’t wait. You’ve fantasized about different types of kisses—deep and passionate ones that scream with need, short and loving ones when one of you is rushing out the door, tender and unorthodox ones that land on cheeks and foreheads and wherever else your mouths can reach.
But, surprisingly enough, you’ve never wondered about what your first kiss with Harry would be like.
You know that any daydream you would’ve conjured up could never compare to the real thing, though.
His lips are soft and smooth, and his technique is definitely a force to be reckoned with. You whimper into his mouth when he nips at your bottom lip, quickly soothing the sting with the tip of his tongue. Harry’s hands anchor themselves against your cheeks, keeping you steady. When he pulls back for a much-needed gulp of air, you subconsciously lean forward and chase after him.
“Easy,” he giggles—the sound is music to your ears. “Gotta breathe, pet.”
You sigh, closing your eyes and running your nails lightly against the skin of his back. “I’d take your shirt off,” you start, the alcohol in your system making you courageous, “but you’ve already beat me to it.”
Harry smirks, lifting one eyebrow teasingly. “You’re a brave drunk, too,” he notes, and then his face falls. He swears under his breath, looking at you with pained eyes. “Fuck. You’re drunk.”
“Not as much as before,” you tell him quickly. “That…uh…,” you swallow, snickering in embarrassment and gesturing between the two of you with your fingers. “That kind of sobered me up.”
“Still,” Harry insists, sighing dejectedly. “I don’t want there to be any—if you’re pissed—fuck.”
“Harry,” you say slowly. “What is it?”
“Honestly?” he tries for a laugh, but it’s hollow. “I wanna fuck you. But I—we can’t. I don’t wanna risk anything.”
It clicks in your brain, then, and you can’t help but to smile softly, endeared by his words and the seriousness of his tone. You wind your legs around his hips, pulling him a bit closer to you. Harry gnaws anxiously on his bottom lip, and you reach up, catching his chin with your thumb and index finger and guiding him down for a shallow, appreciative kiss.
“That’s sweet,” you tell him. “Being a decent human being? That’s very sexy of you.”
He grins sheepishly, and you giggle.
“And you don’t have to do anything,” you continue. “But…I’m pretty turned on, so maybe—maybe you can just kiss me? And I’ll—,” you look up at him with hooded eyes, “I’ll make myself feel good.”
“Fuck,” Harry whispers in disbelief, his lips parted and his eyes wide. He looks completely awestruck, and it makes you feel powerful. His cheeks are pink, and the flush spreads down his neck, growing a bit fainter once it reaches his chest. “I—you sure, love?”
“One hundred percent,” you murmur, tilting your head upward and catching his lips in another kiss. “Can you help me take my undies off?”
Harry groans, pressing his growing erection against the edge of the counter and smothering his face into your shoulder. “You’ll be the death of me,” he says, the pain evident in his voice. “This is how I go.”
You laugh, rolling your eyes at his dramatics. You find his hands, guiding them beneath the skirt of your dress, and your breath hitches in your throat when he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your lace panties. Harry looks at you one more time, as though he’s really making sure that you want this, and you nod in encouragement.
“It’s fine,” you say softly. “Take them off.”
You place your hands flat against the counter behind you and use what little strength you have to lift your hips from the marble surface. With one smooth swipe, Harry’s got the material of your underwear down your thighs, and you watch with wide eyes as he lowers himself to his knees, slowly inching the fabric down the rest of the way. He peppers kisses along your legs as he does so, starting at your shins, and then your knees, and then the inside of your thighs. You spread your legs a bit further apart in hopes of tempting him, and it seems to work. He inhales deeply, a groan getting caught in his throat when the scent of your arousal floods his nostrils.
“Stop,” he chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head. “That’s not fair, love.”
“Sorry,” you whisper, biting back a smile. Harry climbs back to his feet, clutching your hot pink panties in his hand. His eyes grow dark when he registers how wet they already are, and then he’s shoving the material into the front pocket of his sweatpants, flashing you a wry grin when you yelp in surprise.
“A souvenir,” is all he says, and then he’s covering your mouth with his.
For a while, you simply kiss, enjoying being wrapped up in each other. Soon, though, the tension at the apex of your thighs is aching and can no longer be ignored. You keep one hand nestled firmly in Harry’s curls while the other one trails down his body, bypassing the swallows on his chest and the butterfly on his abdomen. You squeeze his hip once before slipping your fingers beneath the hem of your dress, gasping immediately when your middle finger makes direct contact with your clit. You rub a few firm circles against the bud, shivering at the sensation.
“Good?” Harry mutters, pulling back and peering down at where he can see the outline of your hand beneath your dress. “How is it, love? Tell me, please.”
“It’s good!” you gasp, an airy moan falling from your lips. “I wish—,” you swallow heavily, “—wish it was you, though.”
Harry lets loose a string of creative curses, placing his hand on the nape of your neck and drawing you back in for another deep kiss. You whine into his mouth, and he gulps down your sounds as though he can’t get enough. He pulls you closer, grinding his cock—which has now filled out a considerable amount—against the counter. You sigh; your arm is nearly squished in between your bodies now, but you can’t find it in yourself to care.
“Tomorrow!” you say in a reedy voice when the two of you break apart for air. “Promise me you’ll fuck me tomorrow.”
“Christ,” Harry growls. One of his hands leaves your face, and he balls it into a fist, slamming it down onto the counter with a frustrated groan. You don’t blame him. You can feel yourself climbing higher and higher, your legs tingling with anticipation as your movements on your clit become a bit more frantic. Harry’s got his forehead pressed against yours, his features warped with agony.
“I swear it,” he grunts fiercely, his hot breath fanning out onto your lips. “’M not letting you outta my sight, understand? You won’t be able to leave the fucking bed.”
And it’s a bit pathetic, really, because that last sentence is all it takes to push you over the edge. You let out a long moan, your toes curling and your body shaking as your orgasm washes over you. Harry presses his mouth everywhere he can reach, littering kisses against your forehead, your cheeks, across your nose, your chin. You gasp quietly, trembling in his hold as tiny aftershocks run down your spine.
“Shit,” you whisper, removing your hand from beneath your dress. Harry watches you attentively, catching your wrist and bringing it up to his face. The pads of your fingers are damp with your arousal, and he slowly pushes them past his lips, sucking off your juices and laving his tongue against the tips of the digits.
“That was—,” Harry gulps, “—so fuckin’ hot.”
You giggle shyly, unable to meet his eyes. Harry grins down at you, and when you cup your hand over the sudden yawn that escapes your mouth, he’s reminded of the fact that you’d shown up on his doorstep at an ungodly hour of the night.
He’s not really complaining, though.
“Should get some rest,” he tells you. “Gonna need all your energy for tomorrow.”
You don’t miss the insinuation lacing his words. You reach for the abandoned carton of fries, popping one in your mouth and smirking up at him. “What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Oh, pet,” Harry chuckles darkly, though the tenderness with which he strokes his fingers along your cheek drastically contradicts his tone. “You thought I wasn’t serious before? Meant what I said—you won’t be able to leave the fucking bed.”
~*~
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