Tumgik
#also also almost all of them act like they’re teenagers when they’re like approaching their 30s or 40s
snowbellecafe · 2 years
Text
also i wanna add on that so many of the guys (it’s mainly all guys i’m working with) give off such different vibes than the people i worked with at the makeup store back home. like they’re just rude and pushy and unprofessional. like yeah this is fast food but at least my old bosses had decorum lol
1 note · View note
Text
Stuff from Ending Day By Day/The Second Raid that was meant to kill me, specifically
-In the novel, it mentions Kaname had bought an AS simulation game so she could learn more about Sousuke’s job and then when she checks Sousuke’s empty apartment, she finds some CDs she’d lent him :’ ( He was trying to get into music she likes :’ (
-The montage of Sousuke packing & cleaning his apartment in the rain in TSR conveyed that scene without words so well 8′ ) Ow.
-Kyouko earnestly trying to find out why Kaname just. Deflates after seeing one of the twins. She tries so hard to help Kaname.
-The way Yukana’s voice cracks when Tessa finally breaks down talking to Sousuke. Also the fact that neither one of them wants to be mad at the other, and they’re mad at the circumstances, and they both KNOW it, but they’re still standing there together, angry and on edge, unable to have a constructive conversation or even discuss their feelings. Sousuke isn’t even able to properly lash out, all he can do is passive-aggressively insinuate that Tessa made a bad choice (and then listen as Tessa berates him, personally, without accepting his apologies, even though he does feel bad and says as much to Kurz later). Tessa lashes out and loses face, then has to put it all aside and worry that Sousuke hates her until the end of the series. And, you know. They’re teenagers. They’re just kids.
-The fact that apparently Mithril doesn’t have a single person acting as a psychologist or therapist on staff. There’s no one for Tessa to talk to, first of all, which is horrifying and really obvious in this arc. No one in the division thinks twice about Sousuke being 16-17 except Kalinin, who uses a simultaneously Spartan yet hands off approach in handling it. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS DAD, KALININ. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT FATHERLY INSTINCT IN VOICE FROM THE NORTH?
-The way Yukino Satsuki’s voice cracks when Kaname is crying on the roof after Leonard leaves.
-Sousuke is doing his literal absolute best to get through the training, the mission, everything with zero emotional support or room for failure; he’s never had any personal issues to deal with like this before. They just expect to pull him from his job cold turkey and have him go back to how he was before (and the expectation of him being like he was before is ridiculous). Then everyone is pissed off because they don’t WANT to leave piloting Arbalest to this kid, but they have to and they’re making it his problem. He left the mission because Mao said he was a liability and he knew she was right. Ouch?
-Even though they were mostly for fanservice (looking hot and kicking ass in fights), the twins--especially in the anime where Gates parades Yu Lan’s corpse around in front of Yu Fang. In the novel, his unnamed equivalent just dropped the younger twins head out on the battlefield which was bad enough. I was 2000% cheering when Gates died after that. (Mao remembering Yu Lan’s eyes when Sousuke leaves the van was an EXCELLENT way to make more use of the twin’s extra screentime, too). 
-The Xia twins did nothing wrong, they were victims of circumstance u_u
-Sousuke’s dead-eyed stare when he tells Yang humans are just piles of meat while Yang is standing there with the gun like “don’t make me put you down like a dog, man, because I WILL do it.”
-Kaname joking with Kyouko about getting Sousuke an electric collar, but this one almost made me die laughing. I think the “he is dog” jokes are funny lol
6 notes · View notes
chlo3sevigny · 11 months
Text
i think nowadays therapy is treated as an ultimate remedy for almost all of your ills just like antidepressants 10+ years ago, even though not all therapists are good, and very often they deepen the individualistic approach to life in people, BUT!!! there are things you can genuinely work through, when treated by a professional. i know we can blame most things on capitalism or inconveniences encountered during teenage years, but these are the problems we all deal with, and acting like the only person that’s been fucked by life is not only resulting in sabotaging yourself, but is also disgustingly egoistical (i’m not talking about heavy shit, just about most generic european upbringing scenarios). i’m not saying everything is a trauma response or your unconscious is leading your life 24/7, but there are loops we’re all trapped in and can’t notice, because they’re so engraved in our mind they seem like a basic tool for survival, and unless you meet a therapist who helps you point them out, you cannot escape them and keep on making the same old mistakes. we can’t sit in our brains and echo chambers consisting of our friend groups all the time and act like we’re know-it-alls, because we read stuff – it’s still all filtered through a familiar lens. and that’s when therapy comes in handy – you meet new perspectives and can deal with life in new ways and try to make it more pleasurable. because if you expect new results from doing the exact same shit, you can’t be serious.
0 notes
astrobydalia · 3 years
Text
👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Relationship observations pt. II💘
Hello guys!! In honor of Valentine’s day here’s a part II of one of the posts you loved the most which is relationship observations. This one is pretty long which is what you guys preferred. Hope you like it!
Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia
💘 People with pisces ASC/moon/venus, Venus in the 12th and Neptune in the 7th or conjunct the ASC-DSC axis: it’s so SO easy to make them feel guilty. The type of people to easily feel like it’s their fault when others mistreat them and bc of this they could be more prone to attracting abusive people and narcissists
💘 Also, nobody talks about this and I understand why bc Neptune can be very tricky planet but I think it’s worth mentioning that Neptune is a very spiritual planet that represents unconditional love and therefore can mean true love or a real soul connection so the ruler of the 7th house making an aspect to Neptune, Neptune in the 7th, Juno in the 12th, 12th house synastry etc. can mean true love and a real soul connection in marriage. HOWEVER true love and a real soul connection feeling can often be confused with delusions which is why this planet gets such bad press in relatioships and remember 12th house a lot of times is karma so PLEASE be careful
💘 Venus ruling the 7th, venus in the 7th or Venus aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates a strong desire to marry for love. Very possible that the person won’t marry unless it’s for love. This also indicates good marriage life
💘 If you don’t have this it of course doesn’t mean you won’t marry for love or won’t marry at all so don’t worry. What I’ve seen in people who don’t have this is they are quite independent when it comes to relationships, they don’t mind getting married but they don’t mind not getting married or staying single either. While people who do have this Venus influence could be low-key obsessed with getting married or having a commitment/relationship
💘 Mercury ruling the 7th, mercury in the 7th or Mercury aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates marring someone that is funny, someone you can always joke around with
💘 Don’t overlook Chiron in synastry. The house where someone else’s Chiron falls in your own chart could be where you feel like this person is a pain in the ass or where this person will help you achieve great potential
💘 Check Chiron in composite too, it represents where you may feel like you can never agree on or where you often agree to disagree
💘 Once you gain the trust of someone with Taurus Venus they are the absolute SWEETEST people ever
💘 Libra Venus love getting ready for someone special
💘 Check the ascendant in your Juno persona chart, it has some significance as to the energy around you meeting your spouse similar to a composite rising but more subtle energy. For ex. one of my friends has gemini rising in her Juno persona chart and she met her husband when we were in high school when she was about to be picked up by car and she was also holding books in her hands and when she saw him he was with his brother.
💘 The rising in the Juno persona chart also indicates appearance or overall vibe of spouse. For ex the husband of this friend I just told you previously (Gemini rising in her Juno pesona chart) has a very youthful and boyish vibe almost like a teenager he’s also very witty
>>>The actual composite rising you end up having with your spouse or the natal rising sign of your spouse doesn’t have to be the same as the rising of your Juno persona chart. I’ve seen this actually happening before but it doesn’t have to be
💘 In 4th house synastry specially with sun/moon/rising/venus, the house person will naturally see the planet person as a parent or a potential parent. Meaning, somehow the house person “judges” the planet person by deliberating how they’d be as a parent. With this overlay the house person naturally takes care of the needs of the planet person (said needs will be determined by the planet and sign in question) and that’s why the planet person will inevitably see the house person as a good potential parent
💘 There are lots of placements and asteroids that indicate your sexual turn ons but I think that the most potent ones are Lilith, Eros, your 8th house and the ruler of the 8th house. I’ve noticed that these represent specially erogenous zones for you and parts of the body you’re specially attracted to (aside from your kinks and stuff). For example Cancer: breast or nipple, Gemini: lips or hands, Taurus: waist and neck, Leo: hair or back, Sagittarius: hips or thighs etc.
💘 Mars can represent this too but what I’ve seen is that your mars represents more so HOW you like to have sex. It mostly represents how you like to physically approach the sexual act
  💘 8th house represents your sex style, the overall vibe or attitude you want in the sexual act. For ex you may like being dominant during sex with mars in Capricorn but want the sexual act to feel emotional and vulnerable with Cancer in the 8th or raw and fiery with Aries in the 8th
💘 Also, your 8th house is EVERYTHING when it comes to feeling satisfied sexually regardless of your kinks and turn ons. If you have sex that checks all the boxes for all your kinks/turn ons but doesn’t match up with your 8th house energy you will likely end up feeling low-key unsatisfied
💘 Couples with their moons in sister signs (or opposing moons) are either the perfect couple or a fucking disaster
💘 In my opinion, Sun-Moon, Sun-Sun or Moon-moon contacts in synastry are essential for a relationship to work out or last
💘 People with Juno retrograde are the MOST cautious when it comes to marriage, they could be a bit picky and often give the impression they’re not interested in commitment at all specially if it’s placed in Aquarius it gives huge Mr./Mrs Independent vibes
💘 Juno in a water sign gives player vibes, they are the type jump from person to person and likely have a long history of flings and flirting. These people have dated around A LOT and will only commit to that one person that truly manages to capture their heart deeply
💘 Juno in a fire sign are the type of people that wanna marry their crush two weeks or even days into meeting them. They often mistake “attraction at first sight” for “love at first sight”. The second they feel they have real good chemistry with someone they think it’s the love of their life
💘 Juno in an Air sign people need to feel like they really click with someone and they will want to commit only after really getting to know the person. They fall in love with the person’s mind first. They can easily un-crush someone in a second if they don’t like the person’s mind
💘 Juno in an Earth sign people are the most coutios when it comes to commitment. They migh deliberately delay marriage just to be SURE they are getting a reliable future and wanna be certain that it’s the absolute right time
💘 Before starting with the composite observations, you should know that synastry is the dynamic between two people but composite represents what the relationship really is, so that’s why on this post I’m focusing on composite
💘 I’ve noticed that the 2nd house in a composite chart indicates the “glue” or foundation of the relationship, its stability. Mars in this house could create a relationship based on sex for example, Venus a relationship based on love and affection, Saturn a relationship based on stability and compromise etc.
💘 4th house and moon in the composite represents the depths of the relationship. How you guys feel deep down about each other, how you make each other feel. This part of your relationship shows specially when you get true and honest with what are your real feelings
💘 Aquarius or Uranus in the 4th house, Aquarius moon or Moon conjunct Uranus in the composite creates a whole deal of emotional detachment for each other. Could be very emotionally cold to each other and one or both could see the other as insensitive specially if one of them has natal water or fire moon
💘 Aquarius Sun or risings in the composite however is huge best friend vibes regardless of the nature of the relationship. Moon conjunction Uranus can also get away with giving this vibe
💘 Virgos and Scorpios naturally find each other because they tend to have composite Sun in Libra :) So that togetherness and companionship energy is natural for them
💘 Aries moon in the composite chart is that type of relationship where any insult actually means “I love you”. Is that type of dynamic where one’s like “I love you, stupid bitch” and the other goes “🥰🥰” and then they both laugh
💘 Pisces moon in the composite is cute but also a bit tricky if afflicted, the couple could constantly feel they have to watch themselves in order to not hurt or offend the other, like constantly walking on eggshells. Needless to say also these relationships are very intuitive, if one or both are lying or hidding something (which often happens with this placement I’ve seen), the other just KNOWS
💘 Saturn in the 7th in the composite is very good aspect for staying together long-term but it can also mean that the couple is for some reason “forced” to be together or to see each other. They come together due to circumstances and not necessarily by choice (Saturn represents responsibilities, burdens or obligations). You have to look for indicators of love and romance otherwise it’s gonna be a relationship that stays together but more out of duty than real love
💘 Juno in the 4th house in the composite (specially conjunct some planet) is more indicative of marriage (or loyalty/compromise) than Juno in the 1st
💘 Vesta exactly conjunct South Node in the composite creates a STRONG soul-mate feeling and great devotion. These relationships are so long lasting the type where you just know you’re gonna be together your entire life
💘 Chiron in the 1st in the composite chart = feeling uncomfortable with each other, like you’re incompatible or like you don’t click together at all. Can also create a “can’t be together” vibe but not in a platonic Pisces way it’s more like there’s some incompatibility that can’t be salvaged and “stops” the couple from meeting/coming together or the relationship from taking place at least at first. Basically the relationship feels broken before even starting. The sign Chiron is in gives insight as to what’s the nature of this incompatibility.
💘 Saturn in the 8th in the composite = reluctance to have sex, one might have been sexually rejected by the other
💘 Chiron in the 10th in the composite = you don’t like working with this person. I have this with one of my best friends, we tried to run an IG page together and it was a disaster lmao
💘 Sun and maybe Venus in the 10th house in the composite indicates your relationship is source of gossip or at the very least everybody knows about your relationship
💘 If a composite planet or point falls in your natal 10th house then the relationship might affect your reputation
💘 The most harmonious and the most healthy relationships I’ve seen had empty 7th house empty 12th and empty 8th house in the composite. Literally 0 drama, 0 tensions, 0 codependency and surprisingly unbreakable (supported by other aspects of course)
💘 With that said the number 1 best house for synastry or composite in my opinion and based on what I have seen is the 9th house both friendship and relationship, also the 5th, 4th, 2nd, 11th, 3rd
💘 People who have your DSC sign as their moon sign will strike you quite strongly. Not necessarily their moon falling in your 7th or conjunct the DSC (tho this is stronger) I’ve seen that the fact that someone has your DSC sign as their moon sign is enough to create a little “crush” feeling or you feel like you can’t hate that person bc may see them as cute.
💘 The people I’ve seen that have gone through a harsh divorce mostly had in their natal chart: North Node in the 7th, Chiron in the 7th house, Saturn rx in the 7th house, Jupiter Square Uranus and planets or angles in Aquarius degrees (11°, 23°) specially if Venus or Moon are in these degrees or conjunct a planet that is in these degrees. These indicators can apply to breaking up a long-term relationship, breaking an engagement, etc. except probably Jupiter square Uranus. This one is particularly a divorce aspect specially in women’s charts. Also, side note, if Pluto or Uranus are involved, these people may have a devastating divorce or breakup 
💘 Composite planets in the composite 12th house can create a feeling like the relationship has an expiration date. One or both people are for some reason constantly anxious that the relationship might end. If they stay feeding these energy they’ll likely have a self-fulfilling prophecy
💘 Pisces rising in the composite makes for a very psychic bond. Could be the type of relationship where you’re thinking and wondering about them and boom they suddenly text you. These people are usually there for each other bc they intuitively know when to be
💘 This is probably a no-brainer but many life-long friendships I’ve seen had stelliums or planets in the 5th house-11th house axis or the 3rd house-9th house axis of the composite
💘 With Leo rising in the composite I’ve noticed these people always have very funny stories to tell about stuff they’ve been through and lived together. There’s a lot of “remember when...” followed by loud laughter. 
💘 North north node in the composite 5th house is a great placement
💘 6th house placements in the composite and synastry creates a dynamic where the two people and the relationship itself ends up feeling extremely predictable. The couple may find one specific routine or activity they like doing together or they always find themselves doing the same 3 activities every time they are together. This can be good or bad depending on what you want in a relationship, some people find it extremely boring or understamulating and others prefer it because it gives them a sense of stability or reliability
💘 Moon conjunct Chiron in composite is indicative of a healing relationship
Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia
4K notes · View notes
saffyspirals · 3 years
Note
can i request baji, mitsuya, dranken and mikey with a foreign black reader?? (headcanons.. you can only do baji if you want tho) how they would react to her and how they would act developing a crush if that’s okay with you :) thank you if you do write !!
𝚝𝚘𝚔𝚢𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟 𝚡 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚗! 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
Tumblr media
; with: keisuke baji, takashi mitsuya, draken, and mikey
; warnings: insecurity, mitsuya’s is more like a scenario written in headcanon form💀
; author’s notes: thank you for the request! i feel like i went a bit off topic in some places, but i hope it is to your liking regardless.
+ apologies for any mistakes! editing will be done soon (or never lmao).
Tumblr media
𝚋𝚊𝚓𝚒
it was your father’s job that took you to japan for the first time.
you were not happy about it, and pretty much everyone in your new class could tell, from the completely unenthusiastic mini speech you give when prompted by your teacher to say something.
i don’t think baji is one to help out strangers when he sees that they’re feeling down, but he quickly decides to take you under his wing.
as in, he approaches you during break and tells you to sit with him.
baji is very curious about you in general, that’s why you become fast friends.
he asks a lot of questions about your family, your culture, foods you eat at home etc.
will drop hints that he’d like to try some of your hometown dishes. would really like it if it was specifically you who cooked them. (will not force you if you’re not comfortable!!)
you definitely notice baji’s crush on you before he realises he’s got one.
it’s the things he does that makes it obvious; asking you questions about where you’re from, going apeshit when people ask awkward/rude questions about your skin colour, going all red when his mother asks if you’re his girlfriend…
once you’re positive that you like him back, you ask him out.
here’s the thing: he actually gets mad. both at himself, for not realising his original feelings of curiosity had developed into something romantic, and you, for not giving him more time to figure that out so he could be the one to ask you out!!
nonetheless, he accepts your request, and you become a couple!
𝚖𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢
“hey, ken-chin? i’ve found someone that i like.”
“huh? who?”
you’re standing at the front of the class, introducing yourself, when mikey and draken start talking.
draken realises that mikey’s talking too loud, but mikey doesn’t. (or maybe he does, but doesn’t care).
“the new girl. y/n.”
mikey has good instinct. he can tell when a person is good or bad. i think that’s why he’d be comfortable admitting when he’s fallen for someone at first sight.
you, knowing nothing about mikey, find it weird that he was able to admit that so easily, and in front of an audience. it’s also flattering, but still.
you take your assigned seat, and don’t dare to look at mikey the whole lesson, who can’t take his eyes off of you.
he catches you before you can leave the classroom for lunch.
mikey can be charming when he wants to be, so it’s pretty hard to decline his request to eat with him.
you start to get along faster than you thought you would, and his morning confession almost slips your mind.
“i might be in the friend zone for now, but don’t trap me in there okay? i plan to be something more with you someday♡”
from then on, you’re included in all of his fun, all of his shenanigans, everything. he’s good at making people let loose around him, when he’s mikey, a regular teenager as opposed to invincible mikey, leader of toman.
speaking of, he doesn’t really get you involved with the gang too deep. you just know the members, who all know that you’re off limits.
when you do eventually fall for mikey too, and you become a couple, you start opening up about how you feel.
he noticed the looks and whispering people did when you were together, but always thought it didn’t bother you, because you never complained.
in a sense, the two of you were similar; people stared and whispered about him too.
so, he is able to offer you advice on how to ignore them (or what to say to scare them off). mikey also gives you lots of reassurance, and affection.
“you’ve got me alright? focus on that.”
𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚢𝚊
you decide to cut last period, favouring ducking into an empty classroom.
you’d definitely underestimated how hard it would be for you, a foreigner, to fit in with students here in japan.
back home, you’d been known to be bright and outgoing. here, you’re quiet and gloomy. you’ve tried your best, but nobody seems to want to get to know anything about you, your personality.
no. what people are interested in is the color of your skin. how different you are, they keep reminding you.
classes last an hour, so you hadn’t been expecting someone to join you in the vacant classroom so soon.
you shoot up out of the seat you’ve occupied the moment the door slides open, wiping stray tears that have fallen.
“a-ah, sorry. don’t mind me, i’m skipping class…if you need this classroom, i’ll find somewhere else.”
you hastily grab your bag.
“no, it’s fine. you can stay.” the awfully cute boy tells you, offering you a small smile.
“actually, i’m cutting last period too,”he continues. “though…not for the same reason you are.”
you sink back down into your seat, wishing you would be swallowed up by the ground, or something.
so he had seen you crying. how embarrassing.
he walks over to where you’ve occupied, taking a seat beside you.
“you can spill your guts out to me about it if you want? i’ve been told i’m a pretty good listener.”
and, though you’re not usually one to let everything out, especially to a stranger, you feel oddly comfortable enough to do so.
you tell him about how you still haven’t settled in, even after being here for a few weeks.
and about the stupid awkward questions people keep asking you about your skin, and your culture.
that it makes you feel uncomfortable, and…ugly in your own body, something you’d never felt back home.
mitsuya listens intently, nodding along until you’re done.
“y/n…right? listen, i dunno if this will help or not, but i think you’re pretty.”
“…i didn’t tell you that story because i was looking to get complimented.”
“i know, i know.” he touches your arm, dispersing your annoyance before it can properly form.
“but still, i really do think you are. if they aren’t interested in who you are underneath what they see, then they’re not worth it, don’t you think?”
he smiles again.
“find people — or it could just be the one person — who likes you for you. you get what i’m saying?”
you fall for him right then and there.
(hard not to).
but, i think mitsuya is a slow burner, so it would take quite a while for him to first of all, realise he likes you in a more than friends way, and then accept that he’s going to have to do something about his quickly growing feelings.
𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗
isn’t intrigued by you because of your skin, or the fact that you’ve come from another country.
you first become friends one day after school. he’s in the school’s courtyard, on the way to the entrance/exit to go home, when he sees you surrounded by a group of 3 - 4 students.
if the students were all girls, draken probably would have kept on walking. who was he to get in the middle of a cat fight?
since they’re all boys, he starts making his way over.
only for you to beat down all of them before he can even step in.
“you want a piece of me too?” you ask draken, preparing your fists to go another round.
he raises his hands in defence, and calls you badass. that’s how you start chilling with each other.
overall, draken wouldn’t ask a ton of questions about your background.
he doesn’t want to risk making you feel uncomfortable or annoyed by them.
if you pick up on this, and encourage him to ask what he wants, he’ll spill absolutely everything on his mind.
aside from your personality, draken really likes your hair.
he plays around with mikey’s quite a bit, and, if you let him, likes the playing of your natural hair. he likes the feel of it. sometimes styles it simply.
braids? even better. wants to know how you attach them. (he won’t ever get the hang of how to do it himself tho)
it takes him a long time to develop feelings for you; you get to know each other really well before you start dating.
“but,” he tells you. “we basically were dating for a while, just not officially, right?”
[here’s my masterlist] !
426 notes · View notes
zukuist · 3 years
Text
in the moment [hcs]
Tumblr media
“they are desperate for help when admirers swarm them, and they choose to seek for your assistance”
fandom/s : 僕のヘロアカデミア // boku no hero academia (bnha)
includes: h. shinsō, k. bakugō, i. midoriya
your name is shortened to y/n, last name is shortened to l/n gender neutral, use of the pretend lover trope, they’re actually pining.
further note: yes i’ve been gone for more than a week, and yes it’s because of school. i promise i’ll be posting more!!
REQUESTS ;; OPEN !!
© IZUKULIE 2021, HORIKOSHI KOHEI OWNS BNHA, DO NOT STEAL ❕
shinsō hitoshi
Tumblr media
finds it super annoying
and this is coming from him, someone that’s not easy to irritate
he’s conscious and aware that people find him attractive (which for some reason, he still questions why)
eventually, admirers are bound to appear like it or not, but they’re not this insistent as this girl, nope.
shinsō has never experienced something like this, in his entire life.
noriko was a familiar face, but not in the best way for shinsō hitoshi.
she used to be one of those girls that’d band wagon with her opinions. whenever people were hostile towards him
she would be hostile too
but as soon as everyone started finding him attractive, she’d change too.
and it’s.. a mess. what more when he himself is pining on someone that’s not noriko
let alone, a student from class 1-A?
and it’s not like he could brainwash her into leaving him alone
as soon as she would be released by his quirk, she’d tell everyone what he did. therefore, leaving that out of the many solutions
and now he’s backed up into a corner, with her chasing him all across the hallways.
he can only hope for a solution.
— scene —
“this is ridiculous..” taking another turn in the hallway, shinsō mutters to himself quietly, the sleep deprived student can still hear her shrill voice
and by ‘her’, he’s referring to the admirer that has been tailing him down ever since the day had started.
“there are times like this where i wished i didn’t care about looking villainous” is what he’s really thinking. damn quirk stereotypes, and curse him for not having a quirk like iida tenya
“what.. are you doing?” was he lucky, or unlucky? it just so happened to be that he bumped into y/n l/n, out of all people
“i’m in a bit of a situation,” his palm rests against his nape, and he has to hope that you get the message, when noriko’s nearly deafening voice cuts through the air
“you’re quite popular with the ladies, huh?” you joke, and shinsō would’ve laughed if he wasn’t being trailed down.
“as much as i—”
“there you are !” noriko exclaims, slightly out of breath from the insistent chase, “you still haven’t answered !”
“i have, and i said no.” he makes his intentions concrete, compared to earlier (which was a mistake) when he rejected her in the nicest way he could’ve done so, but it wasn’t enough to make her quit.
“well earlier, you’ve said you appreciated it !” the whine pains both of your ears, and you contemplate if you should just grab his hand, and make a run for it.
but, she’d just chase you down again. so maybe not.
“yes, but i also said i can’t accept your feelings.” in instinct, he backs up so he could stand next to you, and he looks at you with his own style of desperation, which was obviously different than noriko’s desperation.
“i happen to be taken.” shinsō claims, hooking his hand along yours. which might’ve been done because he’s desperate, but could’ve been done because he wanted to
getting the motive, you lock away your shock, and play along, accepting his touch.
“i don’t believe you.” noriko blurts, “you two look like best friends more than anything. i’m not stupid !”
you didn’t think it would have to resort to this.
with not much of a thought, you grabbed shinsō by the collar, and smashed your lips together. his lips are warmer than you’ve anticipated, the distinct taste of coffee makes you lean into him further. while at first taken aback, shinsō decides to accept the act by pushing you even closer to him
you let go, deciding it was enough, and when you stare back at noriko, tears dotting at her waterline, and she sputters in humiliation and rejection.
“i never liked you anyway !” she uses as a defense, before storming off. the both of you feel a sense of relief when her figure turns at the end of the hallway
“sorry for kissing you like that. it was kind of in the moment,”
shinsō chuckles, “didn’t expect our first kiss to be like that.”
“well, there are more opportunities to come for you, you’re quite popular.” you tease, and shinsō flicks your forehead in retaliation. in return, you hiss at the sudden sting of pain.
“we’ll have more opportunities when i take you out for lunch on saturday.” he pats you on the shoulder, before he presses a quick real kiss on your cheekbone.
bakugō katsuki
Tumblr media
also finds it super annoying. actually, he might as well just fight them and move on.
bakugō knows it well that he’s.. well-known, for all the right and wrong reasons
but what he doesn’t know is that he’s also known for his good looks, rough and boyish in nature.
so eventually, there’ll be that one brave and fearless soul that’ll take one for the team. or even two, or three.
he hates it. doesn’t his aura and demeanor alone scare off all of the suitors?
since when were they super persistent, smh.
it didn’t help that he was trying to drown and suffocate his feelings down the pipeline.
because curse bakugō katsuki for having normal, teenage feelings. he had other important things in life, right?
but he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever confess to him like that
(not that it would happen any time soon. you were too busy being a tough training partner)
but everything aside, he wishes that people would just take the hint already.
because ignoring doesn’t help all the time.
the girl named fumiko would be a dreadful sight he’d be constantly reminded of.
from his shoe locker being flooded with love letters that speak nothing to him, and to the obnoxious commentary on his looks
he’d think that they were just harassing him to get a reaction, but bakugō katsuki will remain unbothered!
but he spoke too soon, because he was approached directly right after his late training session.
—scene—
bakugō hates it
he hates extras, he hates being outshined, and he hates distractions. what more was there to dislike in the world? everything clearly.
he can handle things properly, and with that tough demeanor of his, and he definitely doesn’t need a quick and easy solution, from the girl that’s glued to his side.
he told himself that a persistent extra is nothing, he can just simply ignore them and look at them, like how he always looks at useless pebbles, and they’d go away. but clearly not this girl
“get off, you fucking extra” he pushes her off, grabbing his water bottle and immediately storming off, but it doesn’t convince fumiko (he learned her name unfortuantely) to finally lay off.
“c’mon katsuki! this would’ve all been over if you just went out with me!”
bakugō can’t hide the cringe on his face, hearing his first name, ugh. he doesn’t know how she found out about his late training sessions, considering that she wasn’t in his class or class 1-b
he doubts that he’d run into anyone at this hour, they’d be all in the common room, and he did say that he wanted all of them to ‘fuck off’. but luck does work in mysterious ways.
“..what’re you doing here?” he questions, clearly surprised by your presence, and his frustration would’ve disappeared at that exact mom“dinner’s almost ready. actually, why do you look so.. alarmed? is there a villain?—”
his palms are starting to sweat, and it’s not because of his training, or because of the girl that won’t leave him alone. “no! fuck no. okay, there’s just some shitty extra that’s been following me around like some obsessed freak.”
you decide to be smug, “i knew there was going to be a brave soul out there, ready to sacrifice themselves.” you rest your hand on your left side, like it was heart warming, but the blond is not amused with your gesture.
“right, right!” you hold your hands up, surrendering. “okay, what do you want me to do?”
“just don’t say a fucking thing.” you can hear foot steps get closer and closer to the both of you, and in a hurry, he pushes you closer to him, the smell of caramel evading your senses.
before you could even say a word, he kisses you. it’s rough, and it makes you feel warm, and it’s definitely not because of his quirk, or because of the large, warm palms that rest against your sides.
you get a grip on him, holding onto his shoulder when you feel your knees buck because of the butterflies in your stomach, and it seems to get worse when bakugō holds you even tighter
“okay geez, i get it. you’re taken!” you can hear the girl exclaim in humiliation and disgust, “ugh, a guy like you wouldn’t be able to handle me anyway.”
and when she finally scurries away, the both of you break the kisses, the wind out of you being knocked out cold from his sudden act of ‘romance’
“i sorta understand the hype now.” you grin, your lips still tingle from the kiss, and you’re convinced that you want more, despite the kiss being out of spite, and for fumiko to back off.
“shut up.” you would’ve laughed at him if it was any other day, but for now, you’re left silent. your heart flutters once more, when his lips press against your cheekbone briefly.
“c’mon, idiot. we’re gonna miss dinner.”
midoriya izuku
Tumblr media
he’s so alarmed, and honestly very scared
he wasn’t popular, or well known to begin with, and people only started treating him like he was a real person in highschool
he’s just so used to being looked at like a background character, or a npc in a video game.
so the sudden swarm of suitors, and people that want to date him shocked him to the core.
he was never treated like this in middle school, or elementary!
it flatters him, and he’s glad that people actually like him. but.. he’d never actually think about being with either of them
because they’re not you, obviously. but wait, what’s so different about you exactly?
well.. you’ve treated him with kindness, even when he looked like this.. really awkward kid that sat at the back of the classroom.
so yeah, he’d never think about accepting anyone else’s confessions, as long as they’re not you
but still, midoriya has treated all of his admirers with kindness, despite not wanting to be with any of them
knowing how it feels to be humiliated, he wouldn’t want to do that on any of them
but.. this one particular girl was one he’d never truly be comfortable with, as much as he’d like to fake it.
rieko was.. something. probably the most persistent one out of all of them.
he would’ve appreciated it, if it weren’t for the fact that she was super obnoxious to other people.
and most importantly, he didn’t understand what she’d get out of it, and it wrecked his nerves!
— scene —
standing next to you, all lined up for lunch, midoriya shifts uncomfortably as he tries his best to ignore the loud and obvious commentary that’s being directed to him.
at first, it was flattering. but now? he just wishes things would go back to the times where people had no interest in him, whatsoever.
he knows what rieko really like him for, and it’s honestly disheartening. the girl would compliment him on things like his looks, and even his new moves!
but as soon as he elaborated on how he did it, the interest would fade away from her eyes
not that it did matter though. midoriya didn’t really have any feelings for any of the people that’ve approached him, wanting to date him. he’s been kind, and they’ve been kind in return, getting the hint and backing off.
the freckled boy was flattered but, not interested
but clearly, rieko didn’t get the message, despite the way midoriya would back away uncomfortably. how he’d immediately excuse himself whenever he’d see the girl.
just.. all signs of disinterest
“go! just ask him already!” he can hear her friends encourage her, but he’s not very enthusiastic to know what they’re cheering her on for
“he won’t be able to resist! just walk right in and do it, you guys will be an attractive couple anyway!”
midoriya’s palms are shaky, and he tries his best to calm his nerves down by clenching his fists. this doesn’t go un-noticed by you.
“you okay, midoriya?” you ask, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, and the green haired boy hopes that his cheeks aren’t turning red.
the both of you guys are awfully close! not that he’s complaining, it’s just that—
“is it about them?” you ask in a nearly quiet tone, and midoriya’s aware that you’re talking about them.
“uhm..” midoriya tries to formulate a proper answer, not wanting to sound as bothered as he actually is. how would he be able to explain this? “don’t worry about it,” midoriya reassures, “it’s just—”
“do you think that he’s dating that person? you know, the one beside them?” he hears that the topic of the conversation has shifted, and the group of girls are referring to you.
midoriya wasn’t planning on telling anyone about the dilemma. let alone his crush. it was something he was going to ignore, until the mess calmed down.
but now? you’re roped into it, and his nerves didn’t calm down at all.
“izuku dating them? no, it can’t be. he’s too good for them!”
“that’s the spirit, rieko. you should just go like.. now!”
to him, it’s the other way around. you’re too good for him, and you’re out of his league. so, this comment upsets him to all ends.
he’s pondering on what he should do, and before he could take you out of the line to get food at some other place, he feels something warm enlace his hand.
he slightly shivers when he realizes that it’s your hand he’s holding, cheeks flushed with crimson.
your eyes are ahead, a lot more composed than he is clearly, but if he looked hard enough, he could sense the nervousness in your hold.
“you wanna leave the line, izu?” his first name sounds different when you say it, and he thinks to himself that he prefers it a lot more when it comes from you
“y-yes.” and you smile, pressing your lips against his cheek quickly, before tugging his hand and pulling him out of the line, walking away from the group.
it’s a miracle that he didn’t drop onto the cafeteria’s floors.
you can feel his anxiety subsiding. despite his flushed cheeks remaining, he looks better than he did a few seconds ago, and you’re glad.
deciding the both of you were at a safe distance, you peek over your shoulder. you can see the absolute defeat on rieko’s face, and the scowl on her friends’ faces as they attempted to comfort their heartbroken friend.
“thank you, y/n.”
“no, it’s nothing, really. anyhow, what do you plan on eating for lunch?”
757 notes · View notes
Text
Ochako Uraraka should have been the UA Traitor
1) She could be. She was in all the scenarios the traitor would be in: she was in the 1-A training camp, was there when they were all planning to rescue Bakugo (something that actually takes out most people: Jiro and Hagakure were knocked out by Mustard's gas so they wouldn't have heard, all the people who went to rescue Bakugo are out, Bakugo himself was kidnapped, Midoriya's the protagonist, Tsuyu's motivations for not coming have been elaborated on, Iida, Momo, and Todoroki are all from hero families and have lived too sheltered lives to be approached by villains). As for the others, Tokoyami was also almost kidnapped, Shouji and Ojiro we know nothing about. There are other theories that go more in depth about this point, but basically, if we cancel everyone out, that leaves Kaminari and Uraraka (and Aoyama who... yeah).
2) Her family. There are actually two main points for this: one, her motivation. We know her main motivation is to help her family, and who's to say that a teenager growing up in a lower-class area who probably saw less of heroes than, say, Midoriya, wouldn't grow bitter and desperate enough to make money in a less legal way? Sure, we have her whole thing about wanting to see people's smiling faces, but that came later. Her motivation starting out was to make her family's lives easier, and being paid by the league of villains to betray a few kids? Sure, why not. Additionally, there's that her parents themselves could be involved in some shady business; we don't actually know much about them or their company, just that it isn't doing so well, and in the world of MHA, construction companies probably get quite a lot of business from rebuilding after villain attacks. Either from desperation or just convenience, her parents could have links to the LoV or the yakuza or whatever themselves.
3) It would parallel Kayano Kaede from Assassination Classroom, who I love.
4) It would hurt a lot - both the audience and the characters. The traitor, in order to be worth it, should have been someone who both the main character - Midoriya - and audience cares about, which more or less eliminates Ojiro, Shouji, Tokoyami, and Hagakure. This also eliminates Kaminari because though the audience cares about him, Midoriya really doesn't. Meaning, the traitor should have to be from Midoriya's main circle. Obviously Aoyama isn’t, but imo the emotional impact would’ve been greater if he had been. I like what direction they’re going with him, paralleling Midoriya, but... honestly, I didn't care much when he was revealed. Yeah, I was surprised since I thought Horikoshi had forgotten bout the whole thing, but after I was more like ‘aw sad’, than the genuine betrayal a revelation like this SHOULD HAVE HAD. I mean yeah the characters care, but we barely knew Aoyama before this! Why should the audience? Iida, Bakugo, and Todoroki are out, and Tsuyu overall makes less sense than Ochako. She's close enough that it would devastate Midoriya, especially if it was revealed she became his friend in the first place to get close to All Might's heir - which I don't think it will or should be but you catch my drift - and, more importantly, the audience cares enough about her that there would be a lot of reactions to her being a turncoat, even if only about how the others are feeling about it. She's close friends with Iida and Tsuyu, is pretty close to Todoroki, and is friendly enough with the rest of the class that it would be devastating for all of them.
5) Parallels. Uraraka has two main parallels as of now; with Bakugo, and with Toga. With Bakugo, I think is very interesting. Bakugo is, technically, Midoriya's first friend. Uraraka is Midoriya's first genuine friend. Those are already starting out. Then we have the sports festival; Bakugo, who acts like a villain, who is arrogant and wants to be a hero for himself, who gets the chance to join the LoV and spits in their faces. See where I'm going with this? Uraraka, who's sweet-faced and 'fragile' to most, who wants to help her family, who gets the chance to join the LoV... and takes it. They're both closely tied to Midoriya, but in typically opposite shounen roles as the love interest (support, falls behind typically, to be protected) and rival (grows alongside, combative, equal), and not to mention, traitor!Uraraka vs Bakugo where she shows her new skills and full potential?? HECK YES.  Her second parallel is with Toga, for three main reasons. 1) envy. Toga's monologues about how, when you like someone, you 'just want to become them', and how it ties into her quirk make sense for her, but also parallel Uraraka. She's had multiple instances where she's shown admiring or being jealous of Midoriya, for his strength or motivation or whatever. Toga mocking her with that monologue in the woods and her reaction to it also shows an interesting side to this. While she could actually have a crush on him, I also think she's envious of him, especially given how often she says she wants to be like him (and the noticeable lack of that statement as of late). Another side to that parallel is 2) battle lust. Toga is insane, enjoys battle, and blood, to an almost psychopathic degree, and while this is far from true of Uraraka, things like her fight against Bakugo show a different, much more battle hungry side to her that's almost reminiscent of Toga in a way or, at least, could be taken to be a more villainous side to her. And 3), which I will elaborate on in -
6) Masking and imitation. I've mentioned above on Uraraka's envy of and desire to be like Midoriya, and another part to this is her name. The kanji 'Ura', in japanese, is in a number of names; all of which relate in some part to traitors, falsehoods, or something of the like. Search it up if you don't believe me. Horikoshi has also said of Uraraka that she's 'unexpectedly brazen and frank', and that it is indicative that there's 'no hidden side to her, if you catch my drift', and while this may come across as against this theory, it, in fact, isn't. Uraraka's usual frankness and how it's being used recently, as well as how it ties into my next point, are in fact, even more signs that she's the traitor. Uraraka constantly tries, consciously or unconsciously, to imitate those around her, be that Midoriya or Gunhead; the only time she was not was in her fight with Bakugo, wherein she was, again, very different. And yeah, he probably wasn’t actually hinting at anything (as we know now), but this was written before the traitor revelation, and also could have been great evidence.
7) Her behavior. Tying into the above point, Uraraka's usual frankness can be sharply juxtaposed against her past demeanor in both the manga and the anime, wherein her usual cheerfulness and optimism often seem almost fake; especially if you look at how Horikoshi often draws her, when she looks as if she's forcing herself to be happy, or, in one sketch, where she looks almost scary when she's smiling. I can link it if you want. Her behavior during the Bakugo rescue arc also shows this; she's usually very empathetic and impulsive, yet she not only said something of Bakugo she would know is false, but didn't want to go with them to rescue him, was openly against everyone else going, and didn't apologize after, unlike Tsuyu, and unlike her. She only really said 'oh, Tsuyu, honey' and then gave, again, a fake-feeling hero speech, which seems to be a theme with her. Sure, we could attribute that to a grudge against Bakugo, but to that degree? It doesn't fit with her character. Horikoshi had a great setup for her to be hiding something as big as this! She’s sort of back to normal now, I guess, but there was that whole period where she just seemed really off in the manga.
8) Her narrative role. Again, this could be shounen sexism, but despite being the main heroine, Uraraka had been almost absent ever since the sports festival fight until recently. She had her moments, but they were small and even pale in comparison to Yaoyarozu, a female side character's, arc in Yaoyarozu: Rising. Tying into that, she's the only MC who hasn't had her name and only her name as a manga chapter, again, something Yaoyarozu has. Her lack of relevance or arc is a huge issue, and not only would her being the traitor give Horikoshi the chance to make her matter again and restart her long overdue arc, but it would put her previous lack of spotlight into perspective as well as elaborate on the parallels with Bakugo and Toga she has. Sure, she’s getting more spotlight now and I do like her recent attitude, but there was an opportunity to give her a super interesting arc and use this absence as a part of that. It would make sense she’s the traitor and she wanted to lay low, so it could’ve let Horokoshi excuse basically forgetting her for a while. Plus, can you imagine how fascinating exploring traitor!Uraraka would be?
9) It would give other characters, like Tsuyu, who don't have as much, more of a role and give the chance to develop more side and main characters. Which this series needs.
10) Her being the traitor was a popular enough theory many people would be satisfied. Idk about yall but Aoyama being the traitor does NOT satisfy me at all.
11) One of the main themes in MHA is how imitation often leads to pain, where emulation, such as Kirishima with Crimson Riot and Midoriya and Bakugo with All Might, leads to teaching and growing, Ochako has never been shown, unlike literally every other character in the series, to have learned this lesson, continually rushing in blindly unlike herself and like Midoriya and having to be saved by others (ex: Momo), further setting her apart from the rest of the cast. And... this was never really resolved? Like as far as I can tell her arc in canon isn’t... really addressing this? It could have been so interesting! In fact, this leads into:
12) All of the villains also have the same negative views on emulation, such as Toga believing her quirk and 'becoming' another person and killing them is the ultimate expression of love, and Twice and his clones and the whole saga of how he's never sure if he's the real Twice or just another perfect, indistinguishable copy. Again, imitation vs emulation. Similarly we have Spinner, who imitates Stain out of admiration, Toga again who does the same thing, Dabi, who has a sort of a negative imitation of his father, where he, too, becomes so focused in a goal he's abandoned his family and humanity, even if the goal is to kill heroes instead of being the top one (and ofc, there’s how him vying for his father’s attention mirror’s Endeavour’s desire to be Number One). Putting this into perspective, Ochako has more in common with the villains of the series than she does the other heroes.
Conclusion: Ochako Uraraka should have been the traitor and I will die mad about it.
51 notes · View notes
musette22 · 3 years
Note
So did jock Steve and emo Bucky meet in college or earlier, like high school? How long exactly has Steve been crushing? 😉
[Post 1 & post 2 about jock!Steve and emo!Bucky which inspired this ask]
Oh nooo, it's even cuter if Steve's crush dates back to high school 😩 Or... what if... they met in elementary school in Brooklyn? Back when Steve was small and kind of inconspicuous, while Bucky was a popular, happy-go-lucky kid who was adored by teachers and other kids alike. Steve, too, kind of looked up to Bucky, and when Bucky stood up for Steve once when bullies got a hold of him, Steve developed the child equivalent of a crush on Bucky.
But then, Bucky moved away because his dad got a new job or something, and his teenage years were kind of tough. Maybe they moved a couple more times during his high school years and Bucky couldn't really settle anywhere, maybe his parents had a messy divorce or something like that, and Bucky kind of turned in on himself, stopped being so outgoing and preferred keeping to himself, turned a little shy.
As fate would have it, years later, Bucky and Steve end up attending the same college. Steve has had his grow spurt in the final years of high school and is almost unrecognisable from his former self, plus Steve Rogers is a pretty generic name, so Bucky doesn't really make the connection between little Stevie who used to get bullied in the playground, and Steve, captain of the football team.
Steve, however, has thought about Bucky a lot over the years, wondered how he was doing, and there aren't that many guys called Bucky, and while Bucky has changed, he's still as handsome and kind as he used to be back in school. So Steve recognises him immediately, and all of his old feelings come rushing back to the surface, although now he sees them through a different lens because this time, he knows he's bisexual (no one else knows, but Steve does).
He also realizes that his admiration for Bucky isn't just admiration - it's a crush. His stomach erupts into a cloud of butterflies every time he spots Bucky in class or on campus, and he finds himself unconsciously memorising Bucky's schedule so he can make sure to hang around outside his dorm or classroom at the right time to 'accidentally' bump into him. To Steve's immense disappointment, however, Bucky not only doesn't recognise him, but he hardly even seems to notice him. He probably thinks Steve just another airheaded college jock, and Steve has no idea how to act on his infatuation...
Which is where the next ask I got about this comes in!
Tumblr media
I think your suggestions work perfectly as a continuation of the above, @possibleplatypus!
At some point, Steve has a lightbulb moment and he realizes he might as well use the image Bucky probably has of him as a dumb jock type, and ask him for some tutoring. When Steve approaches him about it, Bucky is a little confused and a lot flustered, because while he doesn't know a lot about Steve, he does know that he's one of the most popular guys on campus, and definitely the hottest (Bucky would know, he's gay) and he can't quite figure out why he would be asking Bucky of all people for help. But Bucky has never been able to turn down anyone who needed his help, and definitely not anyone with gorgeous blue puppy dog eyes and biceps bigger than Bucky's head, so he agrees.
So slowly, over the weeks and months that follow, they get to know each other. It doesn't take long for Bucky to realize that Steve isn't just a pretty face, and he's actually really smart and spirited and politically engaged, and they share a lot of the same opinions and interests. Then, Steve confesses he remembers Bucky from primary school back in Brooklyn, and Bucky is stunned, because golden boy Steve is little Stevie Rogers?? And of course, he starts to develops feelings for Steve in return. He doesn't yet know that Steve is bi, though (he's only ever seen Steve with girls, and gorgeous ones at that), so he keeps it to himself, and so does Steve. AKA idiots in love.
But they do start hanging out together more, also outside of campus, doing things like going to music concerts together (Bucky is stunned to find that Steve actually also loves the alternative bands Bucky is a fan off) and they become a sort of phenomenon on campus: jock Steve and emo nerd Bucky who for some incomprehensible reason suddenly became best pals. Fortunately, apart from some snide remarks from some of the other jocks like Rumlow and Rollins, everyone leaves them alone because they all adore Steve, and Steve is also the best football captain this college has seen in many long years.
And then one night (and please just indulge me in my American college stereotypes for a minute), Steve hears that one of Bucky's favourite horror movies is playing in the college drive-in movie theater, and he invites Bucky to come see it with him. They head there together in Steve's vintage car, and things start of like their friendship outings usually do, with lots of banter and animated conversations. 
But then when the movie starts, it turns out that Steve is actually kind of a scaredy-cat when it comes to horror. So when the murderer suddenly pops up on screen, he shrieks and hides his face in Bucky's shoulder. Bucky automatically puts a protective arm around Steve, and then when Steve peeks his nose out again to see if the coast is clear, he can't help but notice how close their faces are. And when Bucky turns to him to ask if he's alright, he seems to notices the same thing and freezes. They stare at each other for a long moment before suddenly, Steve surges forward and kisses Bucky. Bucky makes a startled 'mmphh' kind of sound, so Steve quickly pulls back, already starting to apologize - but before he gets very far, Bucky launches himself at Steve and kisses him back with fervor.
They spend the rest of the movie making out in Steve's car, and from that moment onwards, they're inseparable not just as best friends, but as boyfriends. Steve comes out to his team and eventually the rest of the campus, and apart from the usual suspects, everyone is supportive, if a little surprised to say the least. And then Bucky starts wearing Steve's varsity jackets, and becomes the football team's new unofficial mascot, because whenever he kisses Steve good luck before a game, they absolutely smash the competition. Steve, for his part, encourages Bucky to join a band (he's been playing guitar for years but only in the privacy of his room, and later for Steve) and when he does, Steve goes to every concert to support him and whistle on his fingers to cheer him on...
I have a lot of feelings and thoughts about this, it seems 🥺
244 notes · View notes
Text
Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (9)
Tumblr media
(c!technoblade x fem!reader)
(so people showed they liked chapter 8 well enough so I wrote chapter 9! also how miffed would everyone be if... this was also maybe a dreamxd x reader fic? like idk i’m just having some persuasive thoughts. also don’t forget to show this chapter some love or I won’t have the motivation to do chapter 10! reblogs and comments are the best! <3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wilbur did not like this ‘Reader’ person. God she was just as bad as Quackity, coming into L’manberg and making demands and acting like they even HAD a say in HIS country. Now more than ever he wished he’d have just exiled Quackity instead of humoring him with this ridiculous election. There shouldn’t BE an election. HE was the rightful president of this country! He fought and died for this country. Put his blood, sweat, and tears into it! HIM! Not them! 
“-ur?”
This whole election thing was a mistake. He should have just listened to his gut.
“ilbur?”
But he’d been pressured by everyone to ‘be fair’ or whatever. Nobody knew what was best for L’manberg but HIM. 
“Wilbur!”
The curly brunet jolted a bit at the sudden shout to his left, he blinked and felt himself unfurrow his eyebrows before looking over at his vice president. Said teenager was looking at him curiously, eyebrows raised in a questioning way. No doubt wondering what his friend was doing just standing there silently and chewing on his thumbnail like a madman. He was still tense but gave a quick ‘sorry’ before saying he was just lost in thought.
Tommy gave a semi awkward laugh and joked that it looked like he was trying to catch the wall he was staring at on fire just by staring at it. Wilbur gave a polite chuckle at the younger man’s attempt at mood lightening humor before sobering instantly and saying in a deadly serious tone that had the blond stiffening up anxiously,
“I don’t like this ‘Reader’ person you’ve been hanging out with Tommy. She seems really judgmental and arrogant. Not to mention her attitude. She’s argumentative and childish. She very clearly doesn’t care about you or L’manberg.”
That last part hit Tommy right in the chest like the blow from a size 12 boot. How could Wibur say that? You did care! You did! You wouldn’t have-.. People who don’t care wouldn’t-.. 
Tommy’s hurt showed on his face, making Wilbur sigh in sympathy before clapping the younger boy on the shoulder and saying that it would be best for him to just focus on the L’manberg election. This Reader person was just serving as a distraction from Tommy’s job as vice president anyways. And Tommy didn’t want that, right? Wilbur had entrusted him to be his VP over everyone else. He couldn’t slack on that, right? Tommy just gave a mumbled ‘yeah, s’pose not’ but it was clear he didn’t have his heart in it, though that was all the affirmation Wilbur needed to think the conversation was over..
-0-
You sat in the audience with Tubbo and Fundy for a bit while the candidates talked to each other up on the stage. Fundy seemed sweet, if not a bit mischievous. Though you supposed that should be expected from a fox hybrid. You smiled when his ears went back after you asked why his uniform was a lighter color than the others, unable to not think he looked adorable. But when he huffed, pretty obviously upset but trying not to show it, you frowned. And you pursed your lips when he explained that it was in ‘baby colors’ because Wilbur thought it would be cute for his ‘little champion’ to have a different uniform compared to everyone else.
You couldn’t help but awkwardly ask, “Aren’t you an adult though?” To which Fundy gave a slightly loud and exasperated, “YES!” that made you feel sorry for the poor hybrid. You gave him a reassuring look and said that well if he didn’t like the uniform then he didn’t have to wear it. Or if he liked it save for the color then just dye it darker to match the others. Fundy looked a bit put out and replied that he’d thought about dying it or just not wearing it but then his dad would be all depressed and hurt. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and say that he shouldn’t set himself on fire to keep others warm.
“You don’t have to do whatever your dad wants you to just because he’s your dad or cuz he’ll be sad. You’re an adult now Fundy. It’s time you make decisions for yourself in mind, not your dad.”
Fundy started up at you with wide eyes, like he’d never heard anyone tell him that before. Which was worrying but you put it out of your mind before continuing,
“Caring about others is important, yes. But you can’t let yourself be miserable just to avoid maybe making your dad sorta bummed out. That doesn’t seem fair to you.”
Tubbo chimed in from his spot to your left and said that the uniform was a symbol of their independence from the Dream Smp, they wore it to show they were loyal to L’manberg. He didn’t say it accusingly or even angrily, just in a factual matter-of-fact way. You said that might be true but then asked why Fundy’s uniform was different? Shouldn’t they all look the same if they supposedly stood for the same thing? If they’re meant to have a deeper meaning then they shouldn’t be altered for a joke. You said he had to see how that would make Fundy feel left out. You asked how Tubbo would feel if he were the only one with a different uniform and stood out. The brunet boy’s goatish ears drooped and he mumbled that he’d be sad. You ruffled his hair and turned back to Fundy.
“Look Fundy, if you wanna keep wearing the uniform as it is, that’s fine. If you wanna wear it but only after altering the color, that’s also fine. But if you wanna drop the uniform altogether then that’s fine too. It’s up to you, Fundy.”
Fundy looked contemplative, like he’d never thought he’d had a choice in the matter. But here he was with three whole options thanks to you. He honestly wasn’t sure which one he’d end up choosing, he had a lot to think about. But he gave you a grateful little smile and soft ‘thanks’ that made the corners of your lips quirk up. Though your chat soon came to an end when Fundy saw Niki approaching. He and Tubbo waved happily to her and gestured for her to come over. She stared up at you with mostly hidden surprise and said hello before Fundy introduced you both. Niki looked almost shy as she gave a short wave up to you. You chuckled and greeted her warmly and said you liked her uniform, pointing out hers was a different color than the others, like Fundy’s. She looked down at her blue version of the L’manberg uniform and flashed a grin and said,
“Yeah, I just liked the lighter blues better than the bright red and navy.”
You brightened and gently tapped Fundy’s shoulder with the back of your hand and cheerfully pointed out that if Niki could choose to alter her uniform from the original she was given then he should be able to do the same no problem. His ears twitched happily and he grinned, showing off his canines and nodding. This led Niki to asking him what you meant and him explaining he wasn’t happy with how his uniform was dyed. She agreed with you, if he wasn’t happy then he should change the color. But she joked that he should avoid any bright greens… Fundy let out a bark of laughter before Niki gasped and pointed out they, as in she and Fundy, had to go get ready. Tubbo raised an eyebrow and asked if they were still planning on running in the election. Fundy sighed and said yes, like he’d been giving that same answer repeatedly. He probably had been, sadly.. 
“Oh, you’re both running for president and vice president?” You asked good naturedly. 
Fundy nodded, waiting for you to give some kind of remark about him running, or how it was against his dad, or something else. But instead you just flashed him an encouraging smile and wished him and Niki good luck. You glanced at the fox hybrid and the blonde next to him before nodding and commenting that they both looked smart, with good heads on their shoulders. You thought they’d do just fine. Fundy’s tail was wagging from the genuine encouragement, making Niki giggle a little. The two did actually have to go get ready, so you and Tubbo said good luck and waved them off before chatting about this and that. The election speeches would be starting soon..
-0-
He was watching her again. 
He couldn’t help it. He’d started watching her just to ensure she wasn’t going to pose a threat to the server, but the more he watched her the more he started to actually enjoy it. She was like him and Drista, maybe not exactly, but more than anyone else on the server. But at the same time she was so incredibly different. Seeing her interact with villagers and mobs and now players was intriguing. She was so much more powerful than all of them combined, but she had no trouble blending in like she was just another player. End sake, most of them even seemed to gravitate towards her!
The only other time he’d seen a deity blend in so well with mortals was… Dream. But he tried not to think about that too much.
His currently invisible form phased through the building he’d been lurking beside, going up until he had a better view of the seats in the audience by the stage. He watched her and the small hybrid boy she’d endeared herself to bid a fox hybrid and blonde girl goodbye before taking their seats. He watched her sit and talk happily with the brown haired boy so easily. He wanted to learn to do that. It may be foolish but he wants to be like her. Happy, open, accepted, loved. He’s powerful, yes. He’s the most powerful being on this server without a doubt. But… it gets lonely. Sure Drista is around sometimes but she sleeps so often, preferring her dream world more than the waking one. And Dream… well that’s complicated. 
His brother and him have a… tense relationship after the whole ‘falling from grace’ debacle that happened so long ago. Dream barely speaks to him anymore. Actually the last time they’d spoken face to face was after that silly little war Dream had been in not too long ago. He’d told him that he just wanted to sleep afterwards. At the time he didn’t bother to involve himself in the daily lives of the server’s players like Dream did so he wasn’t exactly sure of the intricacies of the whole ‘disagreement’ that led to the fighting. But according to Dream some players wanted to govern themselves because drugs? It all sounded utterly stupid to him so he just sort of didn’t absorb any of the details Dream was complaining about. To him it seemed like the more involved with the players Dream got the more stressed out and tired he became. Though he hadn’t spoken to Dream since their last talk when Dream had vented about all of this. 
‘Perhaps I should visit my brother soon,’ the floating entity thought with a hum before he faded from the realm, drifting back to the End.
-0-
Some time had passed and during it you chatted with Tubbo casually, idly noting all the people who started to trickle into the seats around you. You recognized most in one way or another. Some more than others. Like you’d watched a good deal of the ‘main characters’ on the dsmp. And while you knew the names and skins of the lesser involved players you didn’t watch their videos much. Like Callahan, Punz, and Ponk. You knew the bare bones info about them. In fact most of what you knew was from clips and animatics you’d seen on youtube..
You tuned back into the election, watched from the front row as the rally began. It looked like Quackity was going first, alone too it seemed since George was nowhere to be found. Apparently he was ‘too busy being gorgeous’ to bother showing up. You pursed your lips when you noticed Quackity was sounding a touch nervous at first. Which you could understand, speaking in front of a crowd was always tough. Especially if you’re not really used to it, which even then you’d heard that public speakers said they never truly got rid of the jitters going out in front of a crowd causes. So you sent some good vibes to Quackity, he may not be the one you necessarily want winning this election but.. well you don’t want him to embarrass himself either. But it turns out he.. didn’t do great but didn’t bomb either. It didn’t help that the others running were making little comments through his speech. 
He spoke about caring about the people of L’manberg and how his endorsement was KSI, despite the fact KSI hadn’t replied back to him. Not a great start. Also Jesus Christ himself apparently. That had actually made you laugh a little. And you laughed louder when you heard the chime to signify you’d gotten a message, only in multiple around you. Turns out everyone had gotten a message from Dream on the main channel. 
<Dream> god endorses swag2020
Quackity laughed, cheering loudly while Wilbur rolled his eyes and Tommy sighed. Then it was Pog2020’s turn to show off their endorsements. The first of which being Vikkstar it seemed. You couldn’t help but think it was so surreal to see these… well normal people from real life being canon characters in the Dream SMP universe… apparently. Well that seemed to make the crowd go wild in disbelief and amusement while Tommy pounded his fist on the podium triumphantly while Wilbur cheered. After that Wilbur shoved Tommy aside so he could speak into the podium and said he also brought in an endorsement. And then he introduced…. Schlatt. You wanted to facepalm so bad. You’d actually forgotten this part from the videos. It had totally slipped your mind that Wilbur was the reason Schlatt even knew about the damn election in the first place. 
And to top it off the man was clearly drunk or at least hungover. He didn’t even seem to know where the hell he was. Idly you wondered when he got unbanned by Dream as you watched the messages from Schlatt roll through on the message system. It was mostly him asking where the fuck he was and if the ‘big fuckin’ wall’ he was next to was the Great Wall of China. You facepalmed and heard Tommy say he was going to go fetch him. Quackity was laughing and saying one of their endorsements was ‘some old man’, and you rolled your eyes because little duck boy was gonna be engaged to that ‘old man’ soon.. But you kept that tidbit to yourself. Though when Quackity called the ram hybrid ‘babe’ and he said to not call him that, making Quackity laugh you raised an eyebrow, figuring they were already together! Nonchalantly you wondered how much stuff you’d missed.
And then came the yelling.
Schlatt started rambling about how democracy was overrated and he didn’t ‘need a president’, how he’d be his own president. All while Tommy and Wilbur tried to talk over him and get him off the stage. Then he started shit talking Quackity, asking everyone if they really wanted HIM to be their president. Then he went on a tangent about how Quackity’s vice president ‘stole his woman’, which just caused everyone to laugh, even you. You have to admit, the man was funny if nothing else. Made you wish he wasn’t an alcoholic drug using abusive asshole. Blah Blah Wilbur stole his heart, blah blah Coconut 2020, etc that you were half listening to.
About then is when Tommy, still laughing at this whole debacle, glanced down and noticed you and Tubbo sitting in the front row. He gave a bright grin and waved to you both, to which you both smiled and waved back. This little interaction somehow managed to catch Schlatt’s attention, even through his booze addled ramblings. He just stopped mid sentence and stumbled over to Tommy and asked that the fuck he was even doing. Tommy gave an awkward laugh and said he was just waving hello to his friends. Schlatt gave him a ‘wtf’ look and scanned the crowd for who the blond boy was talking about. His horizontal oval pupils finally landed on Tubbo, making the boy give a slightly stiff wave to the older male. Schlatt stared at the boy for almost a full 20 seconds, making Tubbo sweat nervously. 
You could almost tell yourself that you saw a flash of recognition in the goat hybrid’s eyes, but before you could blink it was gone and he was instead turning to look at you. Your eyebrows lowered as his gaze perked up and a grin you’re not above describing as ‘sleazy’ crossed his features. His eyes raked over your form, making you give him an unamused look. Schlatt leaned over to Tommy, missing how the teen sorta leaned away from him, and asked who ‘the baddie with the fat ass’ was. Tommy grimaced and replied saying for the other man to not say something so gross. 
“That’s Reader, don’t say nasty shit about her man!”
Schlatt laughed and told the younger man to not be such a little bitch, he had to see how hot this woman was! The hair, the horns, the ASS! Before Schlatt could continue to make lewd comments about your person Quackity smacked him with a golden carrot and started cursing him out in Spanish. While the two argued Wilbur went up to the microphone and said that the ACTUAL people running were going to be going into the White House to have a little chat and they’d be right back. Then he and Tommy ran off, Quackity, Schaltt, Niki, and Fundy hot on their heels. Leaving the stage totally empty. Everyone in the audience gave each other side glances before looking up when you stood from your chair and headed to the podium. 
Tubbo blinked in surprise before hopping up and following after you, calling your name and asking where you were going. You ruffled his hair and said you just wanted to say one thing to everyone in attendance. He hummed and followed after you, curious to see what you were up to. You knew the outcome of the election, sadly, and didn’t think there was any way to change it really. But you wanted to impart some wisdom onto the citizens of L’manburg really quick before all those dorks came back after finishing their nonsense. So you sat down on the stage, legs hanging over the side by the podium, and grabbed the mic and sighed before saying to the crowd down below,
“Listen up everyone. I’m not part of the other campaigns or anything, but I wanted to just say something real quick to all of you.”
The crowd watched you with rapt attention, wondering who on the SMP you were. You started off with a light chuckle, saying you’d never been a public speaker so if you started rambling and not making a ton of sense then that was why. Then you took a breath and just said what was on your mind.
“I’m not here to endorse anyone or try to convince you to vote for this or that person. I just wanted to say that despite all the shenanigans going on today that this is actually supposed to be pretty serious. Goofing off aside, you all are going to be voting for the person in charge of your country. The person tasked with ensuring you are all safe and cared for. Being president is a big responsibility. One that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
You looked at each person in the crowd, lots you knew OF but didn’t know personally. But you made sure to tell them what you thought a president should be.
“Being president shouldn’t be about having glory or power. It should be about working to make sure all your citizens are safe, happy, and above all; THRIVING. If the citizens are miserable or not being heard then the president has failed. So I want you all to think hard about who you want to vote into office. Who do you think will honestly care for your needs as a country? Who will defend you and ensure you’re all living your best lives?”
The crowd seemed to be listening to you, none of them had interrupted you anyways. And Tubbo was smiling, having apparently thought you’d done a good job speaking. But you heard the sound of approaching voices and sighed again. You’ve been sighing a lot today, but that’s not really a surprise is it? Instead of dwelling on it you conclude your speech with a simple,
“Just keep in mind who you’re voting for, because you’re going to be stuck with them for the next few years.”
Then you placed the microphone back on the podium and grabbed Tubbo around the waist, and to the boy’s shock you jumped down from the roughly 8 block high stage. He let out an involuntary high pitched yelp of shock that was abruptly cut off when you both landed on the ground unharmed. He blinked then started laughing, which made you begin to snicker. He shoved your shoulder and called you a bastard for freaking him out. You just teased him for even thinking you’d let him get hurt. He changed the subject when everyone saw Schlatt coming over, though you could tell he was happy to hear you cared. But the moment was over once Schlatt stumbled into the audience, looking more than a little out of it. He hobbled over to the bed Tommy had put down for him before he’d gone on stage and collapsed down onto it, for some reason in mismatched armor and clutching carrots. You had no idea where he got any of that stuff because he’d shown up with nothing but the suit on his back you thought.
But then Wilbur, Tommy, and Schlatt all came back from wherever they’d been while talking. And it didn’t look like they’d come to any peaceful resolution, though you’re not surprised. And you’re even further unsurprised when Quackity announced he was going to be pooling his votes with Schlatt. But that right now the debate was over and they just had to let the voting go on until the next day. So with that Wilbur ended the rally and bid everyone a pleasant rest of their day. And soon everyone had dispersed, leaving Tubbo and you waiting by the stairs that led up to the stage. Tommy walked down with Wilbur, the older of the two looking pensive. But as you all walked down the main path it seemed Wilbur was deep in thought. You watched him while Tommy and Tubbo chatted, but as the cobble path turned to wood the older brunet said he’d see them tomorrow and walked off to who knows where.
Then Tubbo gave you and Tommy a secretive glance and said to follow him, which you both did without complaint. That’s when the brown haired boy started saying he’d been ‘hoping for the best but planning for the worst’. Tommy asked what he was going on about, ‘planning for the worst’?? So Tubbo explained that he’d made a little thing for if things went bad. That’s when you noticed he was leading you both far from the main area and towards the edge of the L’manberg territory by one of the border walls. And there hidden under the water thanks to some craft sign placement was a hidden entrance into a secret tunnel. All of which led to a bunker. Tommy was in disbelief at the sight, frantically asking his best friend when the hell he’d even had time to make this! Tubbo just gave a vaguely cryptic reply of, “I don’t sleep.” Which you scolded him for. You placed a hand on his head and rocked it back and forth a little roughly and said he was a growing boy who needed sleep! 
“Sleep is when your body grows! If you don’t sleep you’ll be short forever!” You huffed.
That made Tommy burst out into borderline hysterical laughter while Tubbo shouted in outrage. You laughed a little and easily blocked the hits Tubbo was weakly trying to land on you. But once they both settled down Tubbo actually showed off the supplies, like potions and such, he’d prepared for Tommy and Wilbur should anything go sour. Tommy, still shocked but appreciative, thanked his friend and said they should go tell Wilbur. They asked if you wanted to come or if you’d like to sleep for the night. You just shrugged and said you weren’t really tired. But you told them THEY needed sleep however. 
They groaned but you shushed them and made them go back to their place and sleep. They said they didn’t have a bed for you but you just pulled out a book and said you’d read by the fire until it was time to read the election results. They complained that they weren’t tired but you hushed them and said you could see how they were more sluggish compared to how they’d been that morning. And after some weak whining they eventually gave in and placed their beds down, took their armor off, and crawled under the blankets. Meanwhile you sat by the furnace, book in hand and hummed to yourself softly as you read. The two boys fell asleep faster than usual, chalking it up to the busy day they had. Not thinking to link it to feeling safe as they laid in bed.
-0-
It felt like barely an hour had passed before the sun was creeping up over the horizon. You’d finished going through the enchantment book forever ago, and it sat on your lap while you stared down at the fire in the furnace. You wondered when the election results would be read out and breathed in slowly, feeling tired but not physically. With nothing else to do you got busy making some breakfast. Just something simple, eggs with toast. But it worked to wake the two boys up, the smell of the fresh food rousing them to the land of the living. They practically devoured the breakfast before slipping their armor on and saying they should go now. It was a decent time to start the day. So they led you along to Wilbur, who had been in the midst of leaving his ball house. The two boys said they had something secret to tell him, and he actually hadn’t wanted to talk ‘government topics’ with you around. You rolled your eyes behind your mask but agreed to go wait by the stage until they were done.
So you sat alone in the audience, watching people slowly arrive as you did. Ponk was the first, his signature fire colored mask and lab coat(?) revealing who he was. Then right after was HBomb, dressed almost like a pirate for some reason? Or maybe he was a referee? He was in black and white stripes with a headband so you’re unsure, could go either way. And then Punz with his stylish white hoodie and gold chain. Then you saw Niki coming down to greet Eret. He was in full netherite and nobody gave her a second glance which sorta surprised you. They’d betrayed everyone hadn’t he? You admit you don’t know much about her. But they seem to be on good terms with Niki at any rate. Regardless he stood to the side, not really sitting with anyone. So maybe things weren’t as gucci as you thought. You were distracted from thinking about it as a man in a L’manberg uniform and headset arrived. Jack Manifold you think. Walking past him was George and Dream. 
You narrowed your eyes at Dream, something about him felt off? Which was weird considering you’d never met the man in person before so you’re not sure how you could tell if he was ‘off’ or not. But something about him was just… weird. Maybe it was the hood and mask obscuring his entire upper body save for some dirty blond hair poking out from said hood. Or maybe how his body moved fluidly like a person but… it also didn’t seem to be in the right proportions. His arms and legs felt a teeny bit too long while his torso seemed shorter than it should be. 
‘Maybe it’s the cut of the hood and pants making it look that way..’ you thought to yourself.
Wilbur speaking suddenly caught your attention, and when you looked up at the stage you saw all the candidates standing there while Tubbo was hurrying over to the seat you’d saved for him next to you. Seemed they were starting now. The little goat hybrid gave you a nervous smile before focusing on the results. Wilbur started reading but paused to ask Tommy why he was standing with his own mic, and then said he should be standing behind him. You watched them bicker a second before Wilbur gave in and let Tommy stand with his own mic. You smiled and shook your head fondly when Tommy gave a silent cheer for himself ‘winning’ that one. Once that was done Wilbur began explaining what was going to happen. They weren’t just reading off the results, they were also going to be inaugurating the winner as president. And then explained how the new president would make a decree and how the first decree was very important.
“My fellow L’manbergians, and by that I mean Ponk, HBomb, and Tubbo. And the others in the crowd as well, including Tommy’s tall friend…” he said while gesturing to you. 
Tubbo loudly cheered for Wilbur, making Tommy and Quackity laugh. You giggled a little at his antics but mostly kept silent to hear. Wilbur announced he had the election results in his hands, then held up an envelope and continued by reading off the four competing parties: POG2020, SWAG2020, COCONUT2020, and SCHLATT2020. And there had been a total of 220,000 votes. This of course confused everyone and Quackity pointed out there were barely 10 people in the audience, so how had so many votes been cast. Wilbur let out a tired sigh and elaborated, saying he’d accidentally opened the vote… to all the other servers when he’d broadcasted the election live…
Everyone started kicking up a fuss, some upset strangers from other servers were weighing in on a server they weren’t even a part of while others found this all hysterically hilarious. Wilbur settled the crowd down and explained there’d been some voter fraud as well, but he’d gotten rid of all the votes that had come from the same communicator protocol. But then he pointed out that all the fraud votes were only voting for one party.. then stared directly at Fundy and Niki. They glanced away from everyone else and Quackity said through laughter that they should be disqualified. Tommy agreed and said there was only one coder in the Coconut2020 party.. But Wilbur sighed when Fundy was silent before saying diplomatically that they should count all the votes regardless of their CP address… Everyone started laughing until Wilbur shushed them and started actually reading off the results, finally.
“In last place is Coconut2020 with 5%,” Fundy and Niki cheered for the votes they did get. Tommy gave them a slightly sarcastic congratulations while Quackity cackled. Then Wilbur continued,
“Then in second to last place with 9% is Schlatt2020…” That was actually surprising to everyone since Schlatt was a very charismatic guy on most fronts and usually never had issues with luring people to his side.
The current president turned to look at Quackity and George then glanced at Tommy and said that the two final running parties were Pog2020 and Swag2020, and coming in third place was…. Swag2020 with 22%. And Pog2020 with 31%. Tommy’s eyes went wide and he practically screamed his joy, nearly tripping backwards in his excitement. He rushed up to Wilbur and demanded to know if they’d won, and when Wilbur said they did Tommy missed the rest of the statement telling him to wait. The blond boy was too thrilled to stop and listen and without thinking he yelled down to you,
“MUM I WON THE ELECTION! WE WON!!” practically bouncing off the stage. 
You gave him a grin, mentally cooing over him calling you mom and not even noticing but inside your stomach was churning as you waited for the other boot to drop.. And after Wilbur calmed Tommy he made clear that Quackity and Schlatt had made a deal to pool their votes. Meaning together they had 31% as well. Meaning it’s a tie. This caused an uproar between the parties, everyone seemingly arguing while you puzzled over it being a tie! That hadn’t happened originally… But it was Niki who quieted everyone and pointed out something rather jarring…
“All four of our votes only equal up to be 67%... there’s a chunk of votes missing!”
Everyone was silent before George barked out a ‘what the hell?!’ that made everyone start arguing again. Schlatt was insisting that Wilbur counted them wrong while Quackity demanded they be recounted. Meanwhile Wilbur adamantly said he’d counted right and they were wrong. It took Tommy snatching the slip of paper out of his hand that had the election results typed out on them to get Wilbur to stop shouting. As Tommy read the list of results he mentally counted up the percentages and frowned before saying Niki was right, that was only like 67%! But then Fundy chimed in and asked what was written on the back. Confused Tommy turned the paper over and his eyes went wide. He was in shock and spoke in a normal tone, which just got drowned out by everyone. Seeing he was being ignored he shouted,
“OI! DICKHEADS! You missed the ‘other’ section of the votes!”
That grabbed Wilbur’s attention easily, he’d forgotten all about the ‘other’ voting option. And hadn’t even known anything was written on the back of the slip of paper. He ripped it out of Tommy’s grasp and rushed to read the back, his voice getting more subdued as he spoke…
“With the most votes at 33% is…. Reader..”
---
@salinesoot @lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant
376 notes · View notes
xtodorcki · 3 years
Note
hello love !! i absolutely adore your writing, i find you do the characters so much justice <3 i was wondering if you would be able to do a piece where the reader, a mewly appointed captain of the regiment, has a talent for drawing that no one knew about. she suddenly finds time for this hobby and commences drawing portraits of her fellow comrades, mainly of levi, and picks up the habit of leaving all the sketches under the door of erwins chambers once a month, thinking it would be a great anonymous gift or at least, some fun. levi does not see it as fun and instead is convinced this is a threat to him directly and that someone is watching them, making it known that they can attack at any time. everyone hunts for the culprit in secret, the reader doesn’t know bcs she’s in the capital delivering something. levi finds out it was the reader and they fight physically about it, accusing her of treason etc... until reader confesess it was her and that she had feelings for him, he says he likes her back but she should’ve brought a different approach , fluff in the end <3 much love <33
“Works of Art,” Levi x Reader
Tumblr media
Why can I see Levi being dramatic like this over some drawings🤧💀
Summary: You’re secretly an artist that draws your fellow comrades (mostly Levi) and secretly leave it under their door but Levi takes it as a threat.
Warnings: none
.
.
.
You had sat in your room, pencil in hand and a piece of paper laid out in front of you. You didn’t know what to draw at first but your mind settled on your previous Captain.
You’ll admit that most of your drawings has been Levi and you couldn’t help but feel the urge to draw him, he had the most perfect facial structure- at least to you and it was much better to draw out on paper.
Of course you’ve drawn your other comrades from time to time. You’ve even slide the drawings underneath their doors at odd hours so nobody knew it was you.
It’s not like you didn’t want them to know but a scout spending their days slaughtering Titans just to come home and draw wasn’t exactly an ideal topic you wanted to get into.
As time went on, the more you paint and draw out Levi on the canvas in front of you, your stomach would flutter, being able to admire his face without staring him down from across the room.
You admired Levi more than anything, he really inspired you in ways he doesn’t even know about. The first day you saw him riding down the town with his horse, coming back from a expedition and you were standing off to the side just a teenager.
That day, that look on his face, the way he carried his team and was the most popular for his skills- you wanted to be like him and after convincing your family (more like telling them you’re not taking no for an answer) they finally let you go off to the training corps.
Now years later, you’re here. You were under Levi’s team for well over two years before you got pushed up to be a Captain but you missed the moments being under Levi’s team- you enjoyed every moment. You missed the days he’ll willingly train you and push you towards success and that was the main reason why you were so great at being a scout, why you were pushed up as a Captain.
You looked up to him, you watched his work and you trained yourself into oblivion to be as good as he is.
Now you’re sitting here on your day off painting his face. You were embarrassed thinking too hard about it, if he were to walk in right now- it’ll be over for you. You wouldn’t be able to look at his face again.
Months went by quickly, the more drawings you had left under your comrades door- the more Levi started to see it as a threat as he looked at the piece of paper with his face on it.
He even called a meeting with Erwin to discuss about the drawings, he felt as if he was being targetted- that the scouts were being targetted and he didn’t take this lightly.
He was more determined to find out who it is and even told a few close comrades to search in secret. You didn’t know this- only because you were in the town doing some work.
Levi noticed you didn’t come to the meeting and walked inside your office, his eyes looking around and he didn’t want to be nosey but out of the corner of his eye- towards the back of the office tucked in the corner was some paint.
This interested him enough to walk over, flipping open the sketch book and seeing the pages, the drawings and even found a few of his face. This immediately boiled his blood, you were a traitor- you were targeting him- that’s all he could think of.
He stormed out of there, grabbing his things and walked outside to try and find you. It was absolutely the worst timing for you- you stepped inside the land where the base was at while fixing the uncomfortable gear you wore around your waist until unexpectedly Levi had charged at you with his sword.
You were thinking this is his sick way of testing out your ability and training- he usually did back when you worked under him.
You slipped your blade out with ease and blocked his attack that near struck your face.
“Levi?!” Your eyes were wide at how close the blade was, he could’ve easily killed you and he didn’t seem phased.
Instead he used his leg to trip you on your back, wincing at the impact of the ground and he held his blade towards your throat with his foot rested on top of your chest to prevent you from moving.
“What the hell are you doing? Is this some sick training exercise?”
“Why have you been sending threats to my office, brat?” He stared at you with a look of disgust on his face and you froze, what threats?
“What are you talking about?”
“The drawings. Are you a traitor? Are you threatening to kill me?” He pressed the blade down more, the tip of it just barely touching your skin but from how sharp it was- it was made a cut.
“They’re just drawings, Levi!” You gave him a crazy look, he was acting completely insane, who acts like this over drawings of them? Shouldn’t he feel special?
“Why is your sketch book mostly my face then, hm? Explain that before I slice your throat here.”
You opened your mouth to say something but quickly shut it. You didn’t want to openly admit your feelings towards him and you sure felt violated for him snooping around in your office. But you also felt completely embarrassed- he’s seen your sketch book.
A lump formed in your throat, your eyes looking away from his as your cheeks started to grow hot and he got impatient, grabbing the collar of your shirt and yanked you up on your feet.
Now you were face to face with him, the dirty look he was giving you could instantly kill you if it was possible and you felt intimidated and terrified.
“Use your words, brat! I’m running out of patience.”
“Okay! Okay.” You put your hands up in defeat, your eyes connecting with his and your hands started to get sweaty.
“I- uh... how do I put this? Most of my drawings are... of you. Only because I admire you, you’ve inspired me to join, to train harder than most and I also.. like you.” You rushed the last part out, your cheeks red as a tomato and he stared at you in disbelief at first.
“So, you draw me because you like me?”
“Yeah, exactly.” You stuttered, biting down onto your bottom lip and he let go of you collar, making you stumble back.
“Why be so secretive about it then?” He asked, putting his blade away and crossed his arms over his chest.
“You’re not the easiest person to open up to, Levi.” You admitted, scratching the back of your neck and he gave you a unamused look.
“Look, Y/N.” He started off, bringing his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Honestly, you could’ve just done it in a different way instead of acting like a spy. Maybe if you would’ve been straight forward, I would tell you I like you just as much.” He looked up at you again, making your heart stop for a quick second.
Did he just admit feelings for you after holding a blade to your throat? You were stunned, you didn’t even know what to say about his confession but it made butterflies fly around in your stomach and your cheeks were turning a shade of red again.
He noticed how flustered you were, chuckling to himself and reached over to place his hand on your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the warm skin and your eyes stared into his.
“Oh- sorry, I guess I should’ve done a different approach.” You said quietly, your hands starting to get shaky as his eyes burned right through you.
“Yeah, you should’ve.” He rolled his eyes, gesturing him to follow you inside and you were quick to follow behind him as he went straight for your office.
Once both of you were inside, he was quick to grab your sketch book and open it back up again. He turned more pages and looked at the drawings he didn’t bother to examine earlier.
You felt shy being in here and watching him go through your sketch book at the many drawings of his face- you even had a drawing of his hands and that made him laugh under his breath at the sight of it.
“You’re talented, I give you that.” He closed the book, setting it down and walked to where you were as you leaned back against your desk.
“Oh, thank you.” You gave him a shy smile, your heart pounding in your chest the closer he got to you.
“Now what if I actually killed you because you were being so sneaky?” He asked quietly, the sarcasm in his tone made you tilt your head as you thought about it.
“Guess I would’ve died an idiot.”
He rolled his eyes again, standing in front of you and even leaned forward to trap you between your desk and his body as he gripped onto the edges of the desk, his eyes staying on yours.
He tilted his head, almost admiring your face and you stayed quiet as the tension grew between the both of you.
“How bout you draw me right here, right now.” He offered, making you raise your eyebrows at his suggestion.
“Really?” He nodded his head, a smile coming across your face as he stepped back and grabbed one of the chairs.
You were quick to grab your sketch book and sit down in front of him, the excitement running through your veins as you grabbed a pencil and opened up to a empty page.
Your eyes moved up to meet his, watching the smile on his face only grow and it made your heart flutter considering it was rare to see him smile and it was rare for him to even agree to do something like this.
But he sat in front you, intrigued and wanting to watch your work up close and how it’s done. He was also very intrigued in you and the hobby you loved so much.
During the time of you drawing him, you had finished up his face before he had leaned over and grabbed a hold of your chin in his hand.
The sudden contact caught you off guard, your eyes staring into his before he had planted his lips on yours in a short but soft kiss.
When he pulled away, he had licked his lips and leaned back against the seat, urging you to continue on as your shaky hand tried to finish off the work of art named Levi.
.
.
.
Woooooooo hello
• Main Masterlist •
• AOT Masterlist •
415 notes · View notes
fangirlfics · 3 years
Text
Trouble Sleeping (Loki x reader)
Tumblr media
I swear if this deletes for a third time Im gonna cry 
KINDA A SLOW BURN BOIS
also I didn’t finish reading it over for mistakes bc I’m lazy 
summary: y/n and Loki used to be very close friends and sometimes when she had bad nightmares he’d use his magic to calm her mind, a few years have passed and they’ve grown apart. Her nightmares come back and hesitantly she seeks Loki’s help again 
word count: 3,592 wahahahaha
y/n leaned over one of the balconies that overlooked the kingdom’s private garden. The weather was perfect, the temperature ideal, sky blue, and the plants were all thriving feet below her. Despite the scenery however y/n’s attention was fixated elsewhere. 
Down in the depths of the garden, propped up on one of the fancy golden benches was the youngest Asgardian prince-Loki. His dark raven hair was combed back as he turned to the next page in his novel, the cover matching the shade of green displayed on his clothes. y/n couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the handsome prince, they had once had an unbreakable bond. It was always Loki and y/n-best friends, one wouldn’t be seen without the other. But somewhere among their late teenage years, Loki had become more cold and distant towards y/n-leaving her alone in the giant halls of the castle to wander alone. That’s when her and Thor’s relationship grew stronger-she had always been friends with the God of Thunder but after her and Loki’s relationship crumbled to pieces he was there to cheer her up. 
“Oh there you are!” Thor’s voice boomed-pulling y/n from her daydream. y/n glanced once more at Loki before turning her attention to her tall friend. “I was looking for you!” He beamed. 
“What can I do for you, your highness?” y/n asked with a playful voice.
Thor smiled, putting his hands together before continuing, “I was hoping that you would join me and-” his words faded as he glanced down to the gardens and caught sight of Loki. y/n’s attention soon turned to the railing in front of her as she traced her fingers along it’s smooth surface. “You still watch him.” Thor told her, his normally enthusiastic voice was now dry and serious. “How long have you been thinking of him?”
y/n furrowed her eyebrows, playing with her fingers. “I never stopped.” She confessed, “I know it’s foolish but I can’t help it, I..miss him more than I can even begin to explain.”
Thor was silent as he watched the girl glance back down at the gardens then to the sky. “Let’s go...horseback riding.” He suggested, getting y/n attention. “To lift your spirits, we can go with Sif a-”
“No.“ y/n blurted out, “nobody else-I don’t want to embarrass myself again by falling off my horse.“
Thor chuckled, “nobody is going to think low of you-” he looked at y/n once more sensing her silent plea ”very well then, just us.” He agreed, making her smile.
“Thank you.” She laughed, giving him a hug. It caught Thor by surprise but he then loosely wrapped his arms around y/n in return. “Thank you for everything,” y/n whispered, “really, I don’t know what’d I’d do without you. I’m blessed to have a friend like you.”
“Of course.” 
Neither of the two friends noticed that down in the gardens Loki clenched his jaw, snapping his book shut and silently retreated to his room-they also didn’t notice the pair of blue eyes staring through the window at them, when they returned laughing on horseback. 
_____________________________________________________________
 There was fire everywhere, thick black smoke made it impossible for her to breath. She was choking-desperate for air. She fell to the ground as the fire closed in quickly-it’s heat trapping her in the room. There was no hope, no help was coming and it was impossible to escape, with a loud crack the ceiling caved in leaving her trapped screaming out as the furious flames burned her alive. 
y/n woke up with a start, beads of sweat lined her forehead although her room was cool and she found that her hands were shaking. Realizing it was just a dream she lied back down, covering her face with her hands as she tried desperately to fall back asleep. She got no more sleep that night.
The same thing happened again in the coming days and three days later while in training, y/n who was running on less than four hours of sleep was doing rather well. In one quick movement she jumped up-kicking the sword right out of Fandral’s grip. 
“Very good!” Volstagg commented from across the room.
“Yes.” Fandral agreed, “show me that move and I’ll show you some of mine.” He winked.
“Just give me a time and place.” y/n responded playfully, earning a laugh. 
“Impressive.” Fandral commented at her response. (she normally responded to his joke flirting with an eye roll) 
“Yes impressive.” Loki commented from behind Fandral. “That y/n can apparently chase after two men at once.” He said this while staring casually at Thor. Sif went stiff inder the tension and Thor opened his mouth but y/n spoke first.
“I’m sorry?” 
“Well by the looks of it, you can’t seem to decide between Thor and-” 
“Brother that’s enough.” Thor warned, taking a step forward.
“I’m just putting out a warning, you do know what they say about these sort of things.” Loki remarked, not meeting her eyes.
“You know full well that I am not chasing after anyone.” y/n said, growing aggravated. 
“It sure seems that way.”He then opened the door to the room and left.
“You know what?” y/n responded, dropping her sword to the ground with a loud clang “I am tired of this.”
 “y/n I think it best if you ignore him.” Sif spoke up, “nobody is accusing you of anything, we all know you aren’t that sort of person-”
“Thank you Sif, but I am not taking this.“ y/n exited the room in pursuit of Loki, who was a few paces ahead of her walking calmly. 
“I don’t like being followed.“ He simply called out to her, because his room was only about a minute walk away from the training room he reached it fairly quickly.
“What is your problem?“ y/n asked him, putting her foot in between the door and it’s frame as Loki was about to shut it.
“I don’t have a problem, now if you’d excuse me I’d like you to leave me alone.“ 
 “Then leave me alone.” She huffed, “hold your silvertongue and stop acting as if you’re above me because you’re not.”
“Is that all?“ He asked her calmly, “you’re done with your childish tantrum?” 
“Oh you are so-“ y/n narrowed her eyes.
“So what?“ Loki asked with an eye roll.
“Terrible.“ y/n blurted, earning a cold laugh from the God of Mischief.
“So I’ve been told.“ He stated bored.
“No, I mean you’re really terrible and for so many reasons.”
“Such as?“  
“You want a list?“ y/n asked with a bitter laugh, “ok well you think you’re better than everyone and you’re not, you poke fun at other people because it’s amusing to you and-and everyone-I mean everyone thinks that you’re a snake, ever since we were younger, and I can’t believe I’m just now realizing that..they’re probably right.“ He swallowed hard furrowing his eyebrows, “you used to be my best friend Loki, I’d defend you from people’s accusations when you weren’t around and..I wasted my time because you are everything people say you are and worst.“ She saw the look in his eye, she hurt him-good now he understood how it felt. 
Loki glanced away-looking down at the girl again. “Is that all?” He asked, trying desperately to remain collected. y/n scoffed. “You may think you know me but I know you much more, don’t forget, I’ve been inside your head. People may think I’m a bad person but I can live with that, you on the other hand can’t stand the fact that someone might not like you, so much so that you’ll break down about it. You’re a weak fighter, you’re not as clever or as witty as you seem to think, and frankly I don’t understand the fascination Thor seems to have with you, you’re nothing special.”  
y/n pulled her foot from the doorway. What happened to us? She was about to cry and she did not want him seeing that. “Is that all?” She asked, reciting his previous question.
“Yes.“ He spat coldly. 
“Good.“ She turned to walk away as Loki stayed in his place trying to keep the impression that he didn’t care.
Late at night y/n tossed and turned in her bed, trying to fall asleep after waking up from a particularly realistic dream-she had thought that by laying still she’d trick her body into falling asleep but that didn’t happen. She knew that she had been able to power through the last few days with almost no sleep-but she’d certainly crash if she didn’t get any sleep soon. The thought of making a visit to Loki for help came to her mind, but she really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she wanted/needed his help. Screw it. She thought after another couple of hours, her clock read 2:35 as she swung her legs over her bed and slipped on her slippers and robe. 
The halls were dark and empty except for the occasional guards, which she was careful to avoid (she didn’t want to raise any suspicion). Thank God her room was only a three minute walk from Loki’s. It was once she was already in front of Loki’s door that she started getting second thoughts, but she was there already and the worst that could happen was getting the door slammed in her face or no answer. She raised her cold knuckle, letting it hover over the door’s fine wood before knocking. “It’s y/n..” She announced barely above a whisper, “trust me I really don’t want to ask for your help but I see no other option an-”
The door opened a small crack. “you do realize what time it is, right?” Loki’s annoyed voice asked-he didn’t sound like he had just woken up, maybe he was having trouble sleeping also.
“I know.” At her response Loki opened the door wider, revealing himself in a pair of emerald colored pajamas. “Look I know-” at the sound of approaching footsteps (guards) Loki stepped aside, giving her a cue to get in. She did, turning to face him one he closed the door again-his back facing the door he put his hands on his hips.
“What do you want?”
“I can’t sleep.” She said sheepishly, “I just-I’m getting the same nightmares again and I thought that maybe just this once you could, you know..” She put hands up, wiggling her fingers to imitate magic.
Loki rolled his eyes, “first off that’s not at all how magic looks, second why should I help you?”
“Just this once!“ y/n practically begged, “please. I’ve have not been sleeping at all I just need one hour. I won’t make you sleep on my couch like I did when we were younger, you can just...alter my thoughts or something and I’ll leave and-” 
“Fine.“ Loki agreed, grumpily. He walked back over to his bed, getting in between the covers on the left side. “Well?“ He asked when she stared blankly at him. He rolled his eyes again, “Obviously if you go back to your room I won’t be able to sense when I have to alter your thoughts and you’ll just come back to make a racket when you have another nightmare.“ y/n nodded slowly, making her way to the right side of the bed. “Besides it’s a big bed, just stay on that side-away from me.” She laid down, hesitant at first as she tightened her robe around herself. Loki leaned over, placing a finger and thumb over her temples to enter her mind. 
When she woke up she was in the same exact position that she was in when she went to bed and Loki was standing directly above her looking annoyed once again. It was still dark outside as he looked down at her from where he stood. “It’s about time, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the last two minutes.”
“What time is it?“
“6:05..the castles about to start waking up, you should leave before more people get uo to avoid being seen.“ y/n nodded in agreement. 
“Ok“ she walked to his door, turning to watch as he laid back down in his bed. “And Loki..“
“What?“ He sighed.
“Thank you.“ She said softly, leaving the room right after. Loki was left surprised.
“Look I know I said just once-” y/n whispered that night outside of Loki’s door, it was past 2 a.m. again, but surprisingly Loki let her in again.
“The faster you stop pestering me, the better.“ Loki told her harshly. He had woken her up at 6 a.m. again like he had done the the last time. The time after that Loki woke her up at 7 and the time after that she had woken up past 8 to see Loki sitting in a chair some feet from her sharpening his knives-when she had asked him why he hadn’t woken her up he had simply reminded that he could just teleport her back to her room, that way nobody would know she had spent the night there.
Flash forward a month later, y/n tiptoed to Loki’s room in her nightgown again, the nights were getting hotter which had led to her to leave her robe behind. When she had reached Loki’s room she didn’t need to knock, since he now left it unlocked for her. 
Once she laid down on the right side of the bed (more towards the middle now rather than all the way on the edge) Loki laid down about a foot from her. They didn’t go to bed right then however, since they had formed a habit of talking before falling asleep. “Have you been sleeping better?” Loki asked the girl beside him.
“yes.” 
“Good...”
y/n rolled onto her side to face Loki, “Thank you again.” He nodded. “You know for someone who hates me, you’re actually quite kind to me.” The corner of Loki’s mouth folded up slightly,
“I don’t hate you...” He rolled over onto his side to face her, “but what I do hate-“ he then had explained the entire plot of a book just to express his hatred for one detail in it. 
y/n woke up in the middle of the night with a start, her nightmares had came back. As it turned out Loki wasn’t in the room but when he got back with a glass of water he noticed she was off right away. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, sitting beside her, “I was just-I didn’t think-”   
“I know, it’s fine.“ y/n told him, but his hand was still on her shoulder and his blue eyes still held worry in them. “I’m just-I’m going back to bed...“ Loki nodded, watching as she laid down again. 
“Are you sure you’re alright?“ She nodded.
As she began drifting off she felt Loki take her hand in his. Later on in the night y/n woke up randomly, but she wasn’t facing Loki anymore-instead she was facing his dim window, she felt warm but not from the covers and to her surprise she realized that the prince’s arm was around her waist, keeping her close. Their legs were tangled mess at the bottom of the bed and she could hear his slow breathing as he slept peacefully. She looked around slowly, trying to figure out a way to move away to avoid the embarrassment when he wakes up-but just as she began to shift around she heard him speak up. “What time is it?” up. 
“Sorry...” She apologized growing red, “I don’t know how-“  
“It’s fine.“ She heard Loki whisper. 
“It is?“
“This is quite comfortable.“ He whispered again, then he moved slightly closer-resting his head on her shoulder and he fell asleep again-she assumed that he was half awake and didn’t fully process what had happened. She decided it didn’t matter and fell asleep again, after all he wasn’t wrong-it was comfortable.  
There was a loud noise that woke y/n right up, making her jump. Now she realized that she was facing Loki again, her arms were wrapped around his neck like in a hug, his head was nuzzled in the crook of her neck-their legs still a tangled mess. Bang! Bang! There it was again, she lifted her head, looking towards the door as it came again-bang! Bang! 
“Loki” She whispered, gently shaking his sleeping form. He ignored it, pulling her closer in response instead. “Loki, someone’s at the door.” She whispered, trying not to laugh. He sighed looking up towards his door.
“Just ignore it, they’ll go away it’s probably a servant or-”
“Loki!” Thor’s voice came from the other side of the door, “Loki, I know you’re in there! Open the door.” Loki rolled his eyes, standing up to make his way towards the door. 
He opened the door a few inches, “what do you want?” He hissed.
“I-” Thor paused, “are wearing your nightwear?”
“Why is that of any importance-what do you want?”
“er, Loki is there someone in there with you?“ Thor asked. 
y/n held her breath, afraid that somehow Thor would hear her from the doorway. “I-no!” Loki snapped, “What are you talking about?”
“Alright, alright I apologize. I’m here to ask if you have seen y/n? I’ve been searching for her, she’s normally turned up somewhere at this time it’s past 10.” 
“No I don’t know where she is, I haven’t seen her. Check the garden, she’s most likely wandering around there.“ He shut the door, turning back to y/n. 
“Past 10?“ y/n asked, covering her mouth, “I should’ve been awake two hours ago.” Loki shrugged. “Can you teleport me back to my room, I should go to the gardens since Thor’s looking for me.” Loki looked at the ground with an unfamiliar look in his eyes before nodding. “Thank you.”
The girl had spent more time with Thor training than she had expected that day, leading her to take an extra long shower at night to get clean. She hadn’t realized until she looked at her clock that it was past 10-normally she’d already be at Loki’s room by now. Quickly she dried her hair and changed into her nightwear. 
She was about to leave and opened her door and unexpectedly Loki was there with his hand raised looking like he was about to knock. They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke up, “Loki? What are you doing here?” 
He glanced to the side, not wanting to meet here eyes as she awaited his response, “I thought..” he said glancing at the ground before back to her, regaining his composure “that you-“
“Weren’t coming?“ She finished for him, he nodded.
“So I came to see if you were ok, I’ll leave.“
“Wait, no.“ She told him, grabbing his wrist and taking him by surprise, “I was just coming it was just taking me longer, but you can sleep here if you want since you’re already here...?” He nodded in agreement, stepping into her room.
He settled himself into the bed, opening his arms for her to crawl into which she quickly did. The two laid there for a moment, listening to the quietness as Loki slowly brushed through her hair with his fingers.      
“remember the other day when I said that you were terrible?“ y/n suddenly asked, getting Loki’s attention. He stopped running his fingers through her hair. 
“Yes, why do you ask?“ He responded cautiously. 
“I was just mad at you. I’m sorry.“
He took a moment to think to himself, “I didn’t mean what I said either."
“Can I ask you something?” y/n asked after a while later.
“What?”
“Why did you push me away?” She asked, shifting herself to meet his eyes.
Loki sighed-only it wasn’t from being aggravated this time. He backed up a few inches from y/n-staring straight up at the ceiling. “It’s because..”
“Because what?”
“I had noticed that you and Thor were becoming closer and decided to..abandon you before you did me. I thought it’d hurt less that way.”
“What do you mean?” 
“Well, everyone always seems to choose Thor over me, I just assumed you would, in time, do the same.“ He confessed, still not meeting her gaze. 
“Loki...“ she set her hand on his shoulder waiting for him to look at her. “I would never abandon you for Thor, sure Thor is my friend but so is Fandral, so is Volstagg, so is Sif and I’m not abandoning anyone for them.“
He nodded.
“And tonight..“ y/n spoke up again, “when you thought I wasn’t coming-“
“I assumed you wouldn’t need me anymore, especially after you had spent so much time with Thor.“
“Loki!“
“What?“
“Don’t be like that!“ y/n told him, sitting up, “I do need you! I’ll always need you, I need you don’ t doubt that, and not just because of stupid nightmares, because I care for you and I love you, ok?”
Loki smiled to himself, “you love me?“
“Yes you stupid-“ she stopped talking because Loki had leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss, taking no time to hesitate she leaned into him further deepening the kiss. After about a minute they pulled apart-resting their foreheads together. 
“I love you too.“
142 notes · View notes
baixueagain · 3 years
Text
The Gendo & Rei Question, Part III
For the Intro and Part I, go here.
For Part II, go here.
Part III: The Gaze of the Prodigal Son
              Both Rei I and Rei III are “alive” for only a short period, and it is Rei II—the clone active from roughly 2014 through most of 2015—that we as the audience get to know the best. This is also the clone that has the most developed and complex relationship with Gendo, and we learn most of what we know about how Gendo views Rei as a whole from his behaviour with Rei II.
              Rei II and Gendo’s relationship during 2014-15—especially how they feel about it for themselves—is nevertheless one of the more difficult relationships to understand, since they’re two of the most mysterious characters in Evangelion. We rarely get glimpses into Rei’s point of view, and Gendo only truly speaks about his own emotional and psychological state in the final moments of his life during EoE. Even then, he only speaks of his feelings about Yui and Shinji, not Rei. In fact, he virtually never speaks to others about Rei unless he is talking about her involvement with piloting or the HIP. We only get a few glimpses of their direct interactions, and while these are highly charged with multiple layers of innuendo, those same layers of innuendo make the situation all the more opaque.
              One of the best perspectives we have on Gendo and Rei’s relationship, I argue, comes from Shinji. Granted, he’s the main character and most of the story of Evangelion is told from his point of view, but his perception of Gendo and Rei is just as valuable for another reason: he’s an outsider. NERV is by its very nature a place of secrecy and high strangeness, and it stands to reason that most of the people working there have long since become desensitized to their Commander’s odd personality quirks and the strange, solemn girl serving as his first pilot. Even Misato, who has only just recently started working in Tokyo-3 proper, has been in NERV/Gehirn’s general orbit since her childhood and thus seems fairly used to Gendo Ikari’s personality and the odd way things are done under his supervision. But now we have Shinji in the picture, who’s had minimal contact with his father and who has spent most of his life in the “normal” world, sequestered from the truth of the family business. His perspective is that of the everyman, and he is thus primed to see the unusual parts of NERV that other characters take for granted. Moreover, unlike virtually everyone else at NERV (except for Ritsuko, whose perspective I will be addressing in the future), he is uniquely invested in both Gendo and Rei as people: Gendo being his estranged father, and Rei being his co-pilot and thus someone with whom he feels a sense of camaraderie (even if he barely knows her).
              Shinji arrives at NERV shortly after Rei has a serious accident—one that he does not yet know about. His first-ever interaction with Rei happens in tandem with his first interaction with Gendo in years, and this consists of Gendo dangling a wounded, crying girl over Shinji’s head to manipulate him into piloting Unit-01. It is a brutal, cruel tactic, and Shinji seems to recognize this for exactly what it is. He has already accused Gendo of just using him (something to which Gendo openly admits); from his perspective, it at first seems that his father cares just as little for the poor young woman on the gurney who can barely stand, much less pilot.
              This viewpoint is only challenged when, unknown to Gendo, Shinji spots the burn scars covering his father’s palms in Episode 5. His reaction to being told the truth—that Gendo freed the wounded Rei from her overheated entry plug bare-handed (a scene I will discuss in later essays)—clearly stuns him after seeing the cold, calculating way Gendo used her condition to manipulate him earlier. “Father did that?” he blurts out. The concept clearly seems unbelievable to him, defying everything he thinks he knows of Gendo being a heartless, cold, selfish man.
              Interestingly enough, as Ritsuko describes Gendo’s heroic deed to Shinji, the “camera” momentarily moves outside the limits of Shinji’s perspective and shows us what Gendo is doing at that very moment. He is bare-handed (a rarity for him during the A-plot) and for once he has an open, receptive expression on his face as he examines the Angel’s core in obvious wonder and fascination. His lips almost form an excited little smile and the harsh lines of his face are softened. His naked hands touch the core gently, practically caressing it with just his bare fingertips. Considering Evangelion’s repeated use of hand- and touch-related symbolism, it is likely meant to reflect something of his inner emotional world. This is the first time during the A-plot (that is, the plot following Shinji’s perspective and experiences) in which we see Gendo with his emotional guard down. And it comes at the exact moment Shinji learns of his father’s act of self-sacrificial vulnerability for Rei’s sake.
Tumblr media
              The idea that his father might allow himself to be hurt for anyone is utterly alien to Shinji, and this in turn is what prompts him to become more curious about Rei. Notably, the next scene is one of immediate contrast: “The burns on his palms are from then,” says Ritsuko, recalling the searing heat of the plug. The shot instantly cuts to a young girl’s body plunging into water. It’s just a small touch, but yet another masterful moment in the way Evangelion uses visual language and careful word choices to create an unspoken discussion on themes. This, we are being told, is going to be an episode about contrasts and subversions. It will also be an episode about sex.
              The poolside scene is the first in which Rei is first explicitly treated as a sexual being—at least from others’ points of view. Shinji is teased twice about his interest in Rei, the first time by his friends Toji and Kensuke, both of whom clearly see Rei as a beautiful (if unapproachable and intimidating) girl. The two of them (being high school boys) describe her body in explicitly sexualized terms, much to Shinji’s embarrassment. At the same time, we’re treated to shots of Rei sitting quietly in her bathing suit, oblivious to their chatter. She is small and vulnerable, but her bare skin and curvy form has still been made into something with sexual energy and potential.
              Back at NERV HQ after school, Shinji watches Rei without her knowledge, still clearly curious about her. Notably, up until this point he has never seen any emotional expressions from her (unless you count her agony in Episode 1). She has kept her distance entirely, and he realizes that despite working together for at least a couple weeks now, he knows virtually nothing about her. There are no relationships in which he can observe her behaviour with others…except for Gendo.
              As he secretly watches within his cockpit, Shinji watches his father approach Rei. Rei suddenly begins acting her age in her body; instead of moving stiffly, she skips and hops eagerly down onto the walkway and begins chatting with Gendo, a cheerful smile on her face and her eyes bright and alert.
Tumblr media
              What’s even more shocking to Shinji, however, is Gendo: unlike the scene with the angel core, here Shinji can actually witness his father’s change in demeanour for himself. The Gendo that Shinji knows is a stern, unfeeling man whose rare expressions are that of irritation or a cruel smugness. But as Gendo chats with Rei, his eyes are soft, and a happy smile is on his face. His cheeks even look a bit flushed. Just as important is the way they’re both speaking to each other: although we can’t hear them, we can see their body language and their interaction. They are standing face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes, each speaking in turn. They are practically interacting like equals.
Tumblr media
              Is it little wonder that Shinji’s jaw is on the floor?
              As always, Anno’s masterful direction creates an unmistakable atmosphere laid across what might otherwise look like a pleasant scene. Shinji’s hidden vantage point, the oblivious radio chatter from the control room, the low single chord of background music, and the fact that we can’t hear a word that Gendo and Rei are saying: all these things contribute to the sensation that we, along with Shinji, have just witnessed something intensely private. Something that neither we nor Shinji were meant to see.
              The scene immediately following this is, once again, Shinji being teased for showing an interest in Rei—this time by two attractive older women. Again the pressure to see Rei as a sexual being is mounted, and the additional overtones of a discussion about sex between a teenager and adults is added. This rapid switch back and forth between Shinji learning about the relationship between Gendo and Rei and being repeatedly asked if he’s interested in Rei himself (all the above scenes take place over the course of about ten minutes) creates an uncomfortable dissonance that charges the episode with a confusing, unnerving sexual tension. At the same time, Rei and Gendo are explicitly brought up and compared to one another: both are terribly awkward, we are told, at life in general. 
              And that’s when the climactic scene of the episode drops on us like a N2, bringing all these interweaving themes to an awkward, disgusting, hilarious, and horrifying head. Shinji goes to Rei’s apartment to drop off her new NERV ID card. Nobody answers the door, which he finds unlocked, so he enters. The room is filthy and spartan; the girl who lives here clearly does not care much about her surroundings or her possessions.
Tumblr media
              But Shinji is drawn to the room’s one treasure: a pair of broken glasses carefully set on top of Rei’s dresser. We as the audience are let in on a higher degree of discomfort by knowing something Shinji does not: those once belonged to Gendo, who dropped them when he recklessly pried open the plug door to rescue Rei. Gendo is thus made extremely present in the scene to the audience, even if Shinji cannot sense him.
              I should note here the significance of Gendo’s glasses as a part of his personality. I have noted before that they are an additional layer that he puts on himself as a means of separating himself from others. Though he used to wear clear lenses, after those break he switches to tinted ones, making his expressions even harder to read and representing the increasingly rapid withdrawal of his personal investment and motivations from the rest of NERV and SEELE. His glasses frequently reflect the light, making it difficult to see his eyes even when he’s wearing the clear lenses. The direction of his gaze is thus frequently hidden, and with it his thoughts, feelings, and motives.
Tumblr media
              And yet the glasses reflect other things on occasion, too, informing the audience of what Gendo is looking at and what he’s concentrating on. Shots of his face thus have a doubling effect of simultaneously hiding and revealing his gaze: we can see glimpses of what he is gazing at, but only by looking directly at his face and into the glasses which reflect his vantage point. His perspective is simultaneously revealed and hidden.
              So as Shinji approaches the broken glasses on Rei’s dresser, his face is reflected in them—something we rarely (perhaps never?) see happen when Gendo is actually wearing them. His gaze on his son is thus simultaneously present and absent, accentuating the deep dichotomies of their relationship.
Tumblr media
              That’s when Shinji does something that feels even more shocking (almost taboo) from the viewpoint of the audience, based on our prior knowledge: he puts them on. It is an incredibly childish gesture, reminding us once again that he’s nothing more than a curious fourteen-year-old boy, but at the same moment he—in the audience’s eyes—becomes his father (emphasized by their similar physical appearance).
              And what is the first thing he sees through his father’s eyes after he turns around and looks behind himself?
Tumblr media
              It’s Rei, fully naked, staring back at him.
              Yet at the same time, his view of Rei is blurred and cracked, reminding us definitively that these are not his glasses.
              This, the shot suggests, is not his sight to see. This sight of Rei’s nakedness “belongs” to someone else. Already we are being told exactly what Gendo has seen, how much of it, and that he owns this sight—or at least thinks he does.
              The events that follow are on their surface hilarious due to the awkward nature of the situation, but the staging and shots used (for lack of a better word) are a recollection of the scene down in the cage: Shinji has entered in on something that he should not be witnessing, something that is not for him. Rei strides forward to seize the glasses from him, Shinji slips and topples onto her, his tote catches on her dresser drawer and sends bras and panties flying everywhere. He lands on top of her, covered  in her private items, in a slapstick missionary position with a hand on her breast—and in showing us this, the introductory focus in the pan is of her own hand clutching the glasses. Gendo’s presence is again invoked, even in this deeply awkward, intimate, and violating moment. He is the third, invisible character in this deeply sexually charged scene.
Tumblr media
              At the same time, this is the moment where we as an audience begin to see what makes Rei tick. She seems to have no reaction to Shinji seeing her nakedness (leading us, of course, to wonder why), but it is the first moment in which she has a direct emotional reaction to Shinji: anger. But instead of hiding herself, she walks towards him and seizes the glasses away. Shinji walking in on her bathing was not a violation in her eyes, but his wearing his father’s glasses is. Once again, we are given the uncanny message that Rei’s body is treated as a commodity—including by Rei herself. This time, however, we are given an alternative source of her identity. She does not derive her sense of self from her embodiedness, but from something more intangible, represented by the one item in her life treated with reverence: the glasses. She is given her sense of identity through Gendo’s gaze, and it is Shinji’s appropriation of this gaze that she finds violating. Even as Shinji lands on top of her, a hand on her chest, her anger is gone because the issue is resolved: she has the glasses back in her possession and Shinji is no longer invading that space (even as he inadvertently invades other spaces).
              Shinji’s next violation provokes an even stronger response. Despite the horrifically awkward event, it has at least broken the ice, and as they travel together to NERV HQ he begins trying to make conversation about their commonality: Eva piloting. This then invokes the silent third party in this entire exchange: Gendo. Rei asks if Shinji has faith in his father’s work, and when he furiously denies it, she turns, looks him square in the eyes, and slaps him hard across the face.
Tumblr media
              And this, of course, seems odd (even humorous) until one realizes why she perceives this as such an insult: she is his father’s work. An insult to her person is of no consequence in her eyes, but an insult to Gendo is an insult to something far more intrinsic to her identity and her emotional world. Between these two scenes, we have seen just how wrapped up Rei’s sense of identity is in Gendo, and in further essays I will argue that the reverse is true as well. Gendo cannot conceive of Rei as existing outside of himself, her identity is so deeply wrapped up in his own. If he ever did conceive of her as a separate being, he will have lost this ability by time Instrumentality arrives.
              Yet at the same time, between all these questions of identity and sexual violation, we see toward the end of the episode that there is a layer that is far more simple and human: Rei takes Gendo’s glasses with her into the entry plug when it’s time for her resynchronization, and she hangs them where she can look at them when she feels afraid.
Tumblr media
              Because she is, in the end, also a fourteen-year-old who wants someone to make her feel safe.
To be continued in Part IV: Green-Eyed Monsters
Like my meta? Buy me a coffee!
91 notes · View notes
jjkpls · 4 years
Text
set your world alight (m)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
genre : fluff, smut, tiny lil bit of angst
pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)
word count : 24k (eye-)
warnings/content : mentions of bruises, mature language, long haired jaykay, awkwardness & cutesy overload, clumsy frustrating idiot(s), bratty reader, explicit sexual content (fingering, handjob, protected penetrative sex), HARRYPOTTER!AU (i cant believe i forgot to precise that in the teasers), jeon as charlie weasley, pretty much.
Jeon Jungkook is a mystery. Master of dragons. Long dark locks hiding a face most have never seen. Skin covered in scars. A brave, unpenetrable, curious being that you don’t know much about for, the very few times you’ve seen him in your life, you didn’t dare talk to him. Of course, you’d have the fatest crush on him.
Tumblr media
“If we add roses instead of eucalyptus, wouldn't it turn into a love potion?”
You could have predicted it. If you were to have spent your evening scribbling the course that this morning, with the introducing of a new potion to your year 6 class, would take, solely based on intuition and experience, you would have gotten it right. Down to who's asking the question. 
“No, it won’t.”
“Are you sure?”
Are you? After having spent your whole schooling career in Hogwarts, having studied the art of potion-making for five years filled with internships in the four corners of this Earth, in the greatest House of Potions there are, are you sure?
You could say all that. You could even tell to this annoying Gryffindor to shut the hell up because everyone, and you first, can’t stand to hear her voice anymore, interrupting constantly every lesson either with pointless questions or with obnoxious jabber.
But you don’t. Obviously, you don’t. 
“For now, let’s just focus on learning what the actual recipe is. We’ll worry about interchanging ingredients later.”
Which is almost a lie. You won’t ever do that with them. You have your tight program, with a limited amount of recipes, that you’re supposed to go through with them. And creating new potions, or adapting already existing one to discover new effects are not on the plan. Not with Mrs Umbridge watching closely over every Hogwarts teachers' shoulders. 
If they ever still find themselves obsessed with their dating life and enlarged pores once they'll be done with school, they will worry, on their very own, about creating the magic juices and ointments they need -given their lack of attention, investment and overall talent, you do sincerely hope they drop it because the results might lead to catastrophes but that's beside the point. 
Miss Gryffindor sighs loudly. Turning slightly on her chair to roll her eyes to her friends, who snicker along, they’re whispering Merlin knows what about you and you’re just left there, trying to find your way back to the lesson without losing too much of your composure. 
It doesn’t take you so much effort because unfortunately you are used to this. This class of Gryffindor is terrible. In your couple of years of teaching, you’ve never fallen upon a class filled with so many disinterested, awfully rude teenagers. Naively, when you just walked out of Hogwarts yourself almost ten years ago, when you were wondering with a certain dreadful desperation, what path to head for, you had finally chosen the teaching one, believing that by the time you’ll become a teacher, you’ll be old enough and teenagers would stop being scary by then, you might even grow a little fond of them, embodiment of a something long time gone, of nostalgia. 
You were wrong. At twenty-six, you still feel like a barely done with teenagehood human, hardly an adult yet. The weapons you thought you’d gather along the way didn’t appear in your robe’s pockets as you thought they would. 
Instead, you only have one, effective on an immediate use, but pretty useless on the long run: a monk’s patience. 
You can ignore them. When they’re being so aggravating, you consider sometimes taking a hundred points away from their house -but you don’t because you’ll have to justify to the very biased Head of Gryffindor and fucking Umbridge-, you can ignore them. It’s the most effective way to react as it doesn’t feed them much, they just get annoyed with your unresponsiveness and decide to contain their disruption between themselves. The thing is, the steam has to blow some way, somehow. It’s fine when you can wake up early and spend an hour or so meditating, to gather all of your monk's potential, or if you ever have a Draught of Peace laying around, that can help too. 
These days, it’s just harder to meditate, to try and keep your mind light, unbothered and calmly content.
So much harder that by the end of the class, only fifteen minutes left, you snap and end up taking off ten points from Gryffindors. 
There’s a lot of whining, of strident eruptions of indignation, however, you’re smart enough to do it the moment you’re dismissing your class and they have to leave, sulking and hating you with a passion, for their next lesson. 
“What have you done?” It’s Taehyung asking. He has a little alarmed look shading his abnormally handsome face, but a tiny little tremble of the corner of his mouth gives him away. 
“Ten points.” You state with a bored raised of your eyebrows. What a bunch of babies. 
“You suck. They’re going to hate me too, now.”
Which is not true. Immature profiles like them would tend to hate a teacher simply by association -it is to say that Taehyung is well known to be always stuck to your shoes, you grew up together anyway- but they would never Taehyung. He’s too handsome, has a voice way too sultry, too much charisma for anyone to hate him, especially his students. They can't stand his lessons though. He’s the worst option for a History of Magic teacher. He is passionate about his studies, really really passionate. Therefore his classes, in summarise, turn into him ranting non-stop, jumping from the main point to tiny insignificant streams made of pointless anecdotes that leave his students lost and confused, holes in their parchments, hands burning from their poor attempt at trying to take notes. His classes are Hell, made of boredom and confounding. The only upside being that he’s very nice to look at. He’s like an ancient mage stuck inside an elf body. 
“Do you know how many times this year I’ve had to tell them that ‘no, this potion that has nothing to do with a love potion can’t be turned into one’? Why do I have to deal with their hormones all the time, seriously?”
“You mean, on top of yours?” It freezes you on the spot You could have heard that coming, with the big old ton-heavy boots. You don’t bother looking up from your papers you are reorganising. It’s pointless because you already know what you’d see. The smart ass’s shit-eating grin, singularly square at the edges, with the mischievous squinted eyes and subjective dance of the eyebrows. 
“Shut up.”
“I can’t. I know you love talking about him since you don’t talk to him.”
The shame is burning the back of your neck. It’s climbing up your cheeks, taking over your ears in the process. If there’s one person who does wonders at not-making-you-feel-like-an-adult, it’s Kim Taehyung. Because of course he saw you grow up, and of course, he’s noticed that the timid, coward of a little Ravenclaw you used to be, hasn’t changed one bit.
“You’re so mean.”
“Am not too.” He giggles as he leaps from the front table he had been sitting on to your desk, where he takes a seat, not caring about your quill holder that he knocks down. “You’re never going to try?” 
“I don’t know, Tae.”
“He doesn’t look mean. A bit gruff but I guess that’s what living like a wild creature surrounded by the wildest creatures makes you look like.” 
You hum non-committally. You have come to the same conclusion already. But you hate the idea that you could be right because it gives you one less reason to not dare approach him. “He must be nice.”
“He must?” You cackle a bit. He doesn’t even sound so sure of this statement. Taehyung smiles along, shrugging with a tilt of his head. 
“Well, I don’t know. But you have to talk to him. Soon he’ll be portkeying back to his Transylvania-“
“Romania.”
“-you won’t see him ever again. And also, seriously, it’s been like, what, three months since he’s back?”
“Actually, it’s been barely a month.” The idiot is pretending, with a grandiloquent theatrical performance, that he doesn’t believe you, that somehow you’re trying to deceive him. And it’s ridiculous because no matter how dramatic he always aims to be, no matter how long indeed this whole pinning over the pretty guy without having the courage to act on your feelings has been lasting, it still has not been three months. It’s been three weeks and four days, not that you're counting. 
He arrived on a rainy Friday morning, you remember it well because the wet weather agitated the frogs an awful lot and you ended up spending your ten minutes of break between two classes, on all fours, crawling along the hallways of Hogwarts to try and retrieve three escapees. 
A real joy. 
Especially when he appeared at the end of the hallway. Soaked to the bones but not seemingly caring, as opposed to Mr Filch who seemed even angrier than he usually does. You barely recognised him, from so far, looking up from the ground, with the hood of his heavy coat low above his eyes, nothing peculiar in his appearance that would give him away, not a word uttered that could have helped. Until he turned the corner of the hallway, and the emblem of this foreign school of wizardry appeared. With the purple embroidery contouring the white seagull, it just clicked. You remembered the rumours spreading wildly, excitedly around the castle, that despite the very vindicative Mrs Umbridge's opinion, dragons would be introduced this year to the course of Care for the Magical Creatures and real dragons, seen by their master, would be flying to you and inhabit the grounds of Hogwarts for this semester.
And of course, it would be him. With his impressive resume, or that unauthorised biography written about him by that one stingy journalist singing his lauds that you could read anywhere -there was even a version, presented as fiction, that’s been published in the muggle world- and also, his first and last visit to Hogwarts, two years ago, for the Triwizard Tournament when he proved his talent and bravery in front of all by forcefully regaining control over a Horntail that was just about to chew a few students’ heads off after having eluded his chains -and conveniently, it's also the same time when you fell head over heels for the stranger. 
It was ridiculous because you never talked to the guy. But two years later, just his silhouette and the bouncing of his heavy head of curls you have to come to the shameful acknowledgement that your heart hasn’t gotten over the crush. 
It’s ridiculous. 
It precisely why you shouldn’t have talked about it to anyone. It’s just too hard to keep anything from Kim Taehyung though. Even if your life would have been so much easier if you’d only have to listen to your own nagging about this and not his. 
“You’re going to end up as a crazy old spinster if you keep acting like that.”
“And you’re going to be late for your class if you keep on bothering me.”
“I don’t have a class.” Taehyung stares, dubiously. Now that you don’t have to face head-on your shame, attention slightly steered away from your useless self, you can stare back, glare even, as you challenge him with a raised eyebrow. 
“You do.”
You relish in the sickly white suddenly brushing all over his face. He curses under his breath, grabbing his briefcase with one of his gigantic hands, before he’s flying out of your classroom. 
Quite frankly, you’re not sure if he does have a class at the moment. You do know for a fact that he doesn’t know either because strangely enough, for a teacher whose whole subject depends on memory and a good one at that, he’s never been able to memorise his planning. 
An easy escape you’ve come up with. 
Everyone needs those. 
Especially whoever’s having their ears talked off by the crazy old howl, Umbridge, down the corridor. You can hear her from your room, even with the door almost shut close. Her whole monologue is hard to decipher. You do hear that it has something to do with “her disapproval” and someone else's “irresponsibility” and “pure lunacy”.
By curiosity, you lean your head through the thin entrance your door is offering, picking discreetly to see who the victim is. 
It's the guy. Jeon Jungkook. Standing with his feet pointing away from Umbridge, hands tucked deep in the pockets of a thick winter vest, you can’t see half of his face because of his hair, as always sitting low down his forehead, but you can tell from the thin line of his mouth, his tensed shoulders and something else, maybe his aura, so loudly screeching annoyance, that he's not having a good time. 
It’s him. And for some reason, for the first time ever, you recall words Taehyung has said to you, loud and clear and pressing and inspiring. You don’t want to become a “crazy old spinster”. Therefore you decide to become a crazy something else you don’t bother to identify right this second.
“Oh, Mrs Umbridge!”
“Miss ___, as you can see, I am already-“
“Oh!” The loud gasp, hand clasping on your gaping mouth, wide eyes completing the look. You can’t find the courage to turn to him to reinforce -in case it wasn’t clear enough- that you just, now that she mentioned it, realise the man was here.
Mrs Umbridge has this quality to her. You find her so awfully ridiculous that you turn yourself in a clown, subtly mocking her -though you don’t think she fathoms it since you’ve always acted this way around her- each time you share any kind of conversation.
It can work and you can go along with your usual antics only if you forget the obnoxiously troubling presence of the dragon master.
“I am so deeply embarrassed, I didn’t realise. I’m not wearing my glasses, I’m an incorrigible mole without them.”
“Is that so?” From above the frame of her pink glasses, her beady eyes scrutinize. “You should wear them on your nose then, Miss ___. Now, if you will-“
“I’m sorry, I needed- It’s very important.” You cut her off with such speed and enthusiasm, you know she can't shut you off. “After discussing with my students about the program, I thought about something. Maybe I could introduce a new-“ “Miss ___!” She screeches, the triggering words -”introduce” and “new”- having hit perfectly right. “The program, as you owe to know, has been carefully crafted by the great Minister for Magic and doesn’t need for an airheaded little teacher like you to add any changes to it.”
“Oh yes, of course, how could I forget?”
“It is bad enough as it is that this foolish Hagrid has been able to convince my confreres of bringing a useless study on the most dangerous creatures there is-“ She pointedly glare from the corner of her eyes to the man who remains silent and immobile. His hands haven’t moved from the depth of his pockets, you can’t see his eyes even up close, because the curtain of dark curls hiding them is even thicker than it looked like from the other end of the hallway. He doesn’t seem particularly bothered. You wonder if he’s even listening. Barely swinging on his long legs, waiting for his presence to be dismissed it seems.
“Dragons are quite interesting creatures. I suppose that’s why they were added to the program. The Ministry for Magic must have thought so too since they voted...”
She gnarls at that. She tries to be discreet, conceals a bit of her spite but there’s no doubt in your mind that her mouth's just filled up with a distasteful repellent aftertaste.
Since the main goal was to distract her from him and free him from her claws, you start again with the suggestions for a revised scholar program. Her cheeks grow pinker than her jacket, her eyes start reflecting a fire alike the ones from Hell, her usually perfectly well-combed hair releases a few angry frizzes. She’s beyond herself and without letting you finish your little act, she’s going over all the things that are so wrong about you, about Hogwarts teachers in general, about young people and their disrespectful tendency to want to add their little spice to every tea.
You take the nagging like a champ. Because you’re used to it and to be perfectly fair, you’ve mastered a certain state of meditation whenever she’s coming your way with some complaining.
None of her words successfully reach you to stick around.
She holds strong for a good, fat fifteen minutes. At some point, you even worry that this time, her pit of nonsensical arguments won’t ever show a bottom. Until it does.
She looks all dishevelled from her heated argument. The hair worsened, with now drops of perspiration shining on her forehead. The mean beady eyes are dull, exhausted from the fight as she contemplates the void between you and the man. With a last dismissive wave of her hand, she leaves, stumbling on top of her lacquered Fuschia heels.
How can someone work themselves up so badly with so little provocation -and no further response too?
It leaves you alone with the dragon master and only now, even though you had plenty of time to take in this present, you realise how inconvenient for your coward self the predicament is. You are meant to talk to him now, aren’t you? Maybe the same question raises in his mind however he certainly doesn’t reach the same conclusion. Deeming it unnecessary, he turns his back to you and heads down the hall without much of a look spared to you. Maybe he did check, through or maybe under the impenetrable curtain of hair, for the identity of the idiot that thought he needed help to escape the annoying old owl but you wouldn’t know.
Watching in pure despair, your heart prickling uncomfortably in your bosom, you wonder if you somehow upset him. He did look irked from what you could tell. Anyone else, anyone less grumpy, anyone feeling anything but discomfort or discontent would have said something, wouldn’t they?
That’s what you explain to Kim Taehyung. Emphasising on the fact that you did try to approach the guy. You did. You created the situation, you faced him fully, you did miss the moment when you were probably supposed to say something to him but he left, too soon, and clearly is not interested in getting to know you, and whatever, you’re fine with that you just want your friend to note and remember for later reference that you did try this time.
Taehyung who’s never keen on trusting your words, no matter the fact that you’ve never lied to him -or maybe just a few times so he would leave you alone, but nothing major really- decides that you are wrong. That somehow you misinterpreted the whole thing and surely you need to hop back on the horse and try, again, maybe this time more vindictively.
It takes quite a couple of days for him to convince you. You’re not sure how. It might be from exhaustion, it might come from those three too many butterbeers you drank even though you didn’t remember ordering, back when you were gloomily celebrating your never-ending celibacy in Jjang Jjang -the magical bar held by your friend, Min Yoongi, in the far end of Hogsmead.
You promise that if an opportunity appears to be showing the very tip of its nose, if the universe is kind -and delusional- enough to gift you another chance, then you would try.
Tumblr media
It’s funny how the laws of attraction work. Or rather, probably more accurately, it’s funny how Taehyung can be so shameless and volunteer when he has his mind set on something. He has no problem manipulating people and situations as if the universe is his and he decides whatever happens to the little pawns inhabiting it.
A week later, when he, the dragon master, is the curious apparition manifesting itself in front of you when you open the door to let your class free, it doesn’t fall into place right away.
It’s a strange coincidence. Maybe he messed up and meant to find another classroom, any other classroom but yours. He doesn’t budge when he sees you, doesn’t seem startled by your presence. He only takes a step to the side once he realises that a wave of hurried teenagers is about to swarm him in their way out.
“Miss, are we still going to study this potion next time or will we move to something more interesting?” It’s that same Gryffindor. The same as usual. She’s just made of attitudes, eye rolls, hand on the hip and all.
“Once you’ll be able to make it without cooking a hole in your cauldron, we’ll be starting with a new one.”
You’re snarkier than usual, there’s no denying that. It’s your fifth class of the day, everyone seems to have signed an agreement on messing with your patience and he’s here, hearing and seeing an umpteenth attempt to humiliate you from this kid and you’re not having it right now, not today. She grows red on the cheeks, eyebrows frowning dangerously low, they might fall from her face when she barks, “I told you the hole was already there!”
“I understand. Next time, I’ll lend you my old cauldron so there won’t be any issue, alright?”
The angry wands she owns for eyes shoot you a good dozen of curses and she departs, with her friends, as angry as ever.
There’s a heavy silence, setting around you both, engulfing you. The wood of the walls, dark and cold, make it old the more uncomfortable until you can not take it anymore. You’re about to mumble something, maybe point out the end of the hall and suggest he tries there, to find whatever or whoever he is looking for. He beats you to it. Having reached the very limit of handling this silence at the same time as you do.
“Good morning.” He starts, clearing his throat. A husky, quiet yet somehow soft voice that he doesn’t seem to have used quite often. “Here’s the stuff for your potions.”
He holds out a strong hand to you, all veiny and sparkled with tiny bruises, a dark bag made of linen held in his fist. If he can see you, he can undoubtedly take in your confusion. You have no idea what “the stuff” is. If it’s a badly expressed thought. If he meant to say, “some stuff” for your potions. Because you’ve never asked for anything from anyone for your potions -even though, the thought crossed your mind that he, with his magical pets, must have some fantastic ingredients for your searches. You don’t know if it just comes from him. If he thought you may need it and generously prepared this for you -you doubt that one highly. The other reason, way more evident, quite obnoxiously obvious actually, that doesn’t reach your brain which is only working at a quarter of its habitual capacity given his standing here, and his smelling like woods and smoky and something subtler, you can’t pinpoint but feel addicted to as soon as it reaches your nostrils, is that someone -Taehyung- must have put him up for it. He must have gone behind your back, mumble some basic potion ingredients knowledge he owns to him and asked him to bring it to you.
“I put my Norvegian Ridgeback's scales in a separate bag because they’re very sharp -and poisonous too- so be careful when you open it.” He’s done talking, he clears his throat again, this time you’re pretty sure it’s out of discomfort as your gaping silently like a dumb fish must not be the easiest response to receive. A little inviting shake of his fist brings you to your senses, and you reach forward to grab the present. Your arm drops down from the surprising weight of the thing, fortunately, as if he expected it, he catches you before you topple over, a hand on your shoulder and the other encasing yours holding the bag, squeezing around your own as he lifts some of the weight up.
“Sorry, I didn’t expect it to be this heavy.” because you carried it like it was filled with dragons feathers instead -you mean to add.
“It’s fine.” He simply mumbles. You add your free hand to cup the underside of the thing, pressing the whole to your bosom and he lets go there, letting you step inside your room to find a place on a shelf to put it away. You probably take a second to long, your back facing him, as you stand staring at your new possession. It’s the heat remaining on the back of your hand that troubles you. As if not only have his pets decorated the top of his skin with scratches and bruises, they’ve sighed enough fire in his palms for them to forever feel this warm. And he touched you so naturally so. Pressing his large hand around yours that seemed so tiny in comparison. Probably without even acknowledging it while you are shook to your core.
This added to your confusion born from his surprise apparition, are the reasons why, as I said, your brain doesn’t reach its full capacity. Still, the idea that Taehyung is behind it all, that it can’t solely come from this man here, just won’t do in your idiotic head.
You’re enamoured, even more than before, just by a touch and by the gentleness his words hold under the tougher surface. And you decide, that if you turn around and he’s still standing there you’ll ask him out.
You do so, spiralling in slow motion, filled with apprehension. He’s here. His hands back inside the pockets of his jacket, the shadow of a sparkle coming from his eyes, under the heavy protection he’s wearing in front of them.
“Jeon Jungkook?”
He’s startled at the call of his name, the top of his mop of hair bouncing slightly and you just find it adorable. Maybe he didn’t expect you to know his name, he must not even know yours. Of course, he could not have expected that you had spent way too long, two years ago, back when he came to Hogwarts for the first time and you had heard his name amid a conversation, trying it out for yourself. Not to wear it out but repeating his name to yourself, appreciating the way the syllabus formed, how they felt so well chosen for each other’s, for him, and the feeling, light heading, that it gave you to pronounce it.
“Would you like to have a drink with me? On Fridays, I like to go to my friend's bar in Hogsmead and I was wondering, maybe you’d like to come?”
More clearing of the throat. It’s stalling the delivery of his answer, you hate it and almost jump to your cooking station to sort out a quick remedy for it. Your heart is beating so furiously, you might pass out and he’s just taking his sweet time to answer. You feel the awkwardness. You don’t see it. You can’t see anything, the bottom of his face not telling any secrets on his feelings. You must look terrifying, red anywhere it’s possible for you to blush, sweating and fidgety like you’re on a Girding Potion bad trip. And he doesn’t show anything. You’d rip the hair out of his eyes if only you could. 
There’s only one telling sign that manifests in the form of his hand, slipping out of his pocket to reach for the back of his neck where it scratches for a bit. 
It’s no. It must be a “no, I’m absolutely not interested and this moment is very awkward”. 
“I have my dragons to exercise. Sorry.” 
“Oh. It’s ok.” It is not. 
You hope, with all your might, that he doesn’t notice how upset you are. Through your prickling eyes, through the trembling pout you try to hide behind a casual smile.
It is terribly not ok but fortunately, he doesn’t stick around. That’s probably the thing you’re the most thankful for at this moment, his laconic tendencies. Anyone else may have tried to say something else to make you feel better, to make you feel like the rejection isn't worth throwing you off one of Hogwarts high tour. Instead, he just quits, swiftly. Leaving you alone to compose yourself back enough to handle your very last class of the day. You manage to feel fine, sort of numbed out for long enough until you don’t have to pretend anymore and you can let all the emotions out. 
Bent over on the wooden tabletop of Yoongi’s bar, you’re crying out your whole soul, face laid in a pool of your own tears, a gentle hand petting awkwardly the top of your head. 
“I hate you Taehyung!” It hardly comes out, half mumbled, half coughed out. The hand on your hair still in the air for a second so he must have got the jest of it until it resumes to its previous activity. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think he’d reject you.” He sighs deeply. “I didn’t even think you’d ask him out!” 
“Yeah, what’s up with that?” You rise from the depth of your despair, hidden in the centre of your crossed arms. Yoongi looks extremely distraught. Your face looks awful, you know. But seeing him this shaken upsets you even more. You feel mad and vengeful and you’d like to flood his shitty bar with your tears to teach him a lesson -you’re not sure which, maybe: don’t look so disgusted when your friends look indeed disgusting, that’s mean- but the realisation downs on you that you cried so much you don’t have any tears left. Just the rashness around your eyes and nose, no snot left because Yoongi had maternally cleaned it for you, tiny pathetic sniffling around nothing but heartbreak now. 
“He sent him to me!” You bark, punching Taehyung in the shoulder, not caring the least that half of his drink gets spilt everywhere. 
“You didn’t have to just ask him out! You could have just, I don’t know (he pretends to think deeply, the tip of his fingers tapping lightly his chin), talk to him! Like a normal person that’s never spoken to him would have done.”
You gasp, eyes burning with fire. “Yoongi, he called me a freak!”
“When have I ever-“
“Normal people, my ass!” You continue, sort of having a lone conversation parallel to theirs. “What do you know about normal people, you fucking Grindylow.” You swallow down your fourth butterbeer, one furious finger indicating Yoongi that you need another one. Taehyung is just rolling his eyes, not taking offence of the nonsensical insult. “I hate you so much, Merlin, how am I supposed to face him again?”
“You do like everyone else’s does. Just start hating him until you don’t care anymore.”
“People do that?” Yoongi asks curiously. He’s slid you a new pint, filled to the brim. 
“I know I do.” You slap the back of his arm there, without giving him any explanation, just because you’re sure he’s bullshitting you -the guy surely never has been rejected. 
“Doesn’t matter. How could I ever hate him anyway?” A lone survivor tear falls from your lashes into the calm, quiet amber lake topping your glass. It doesn’t hit you there that there’s no foam. Yoongi watches you carefully, one of his hand is patting your forearm. 
“Is he really that great?” Taehyung just shrugs. He’s such a dimwit. You nod, heart growing big with sadness before it breathes it out, turning into a tiny, squeezed on itself pained creature. You leave the conversation then. Simply trying to rest with your hurting bosom. It needs nurturing and a benevolent yet firm healing hand to tell it to rest for a bit, and stop overreacting. 
[“What's he like?” Yoongi asks directly to Taehyung as he can see, clearly, that you’re not here anymore, for now.
“He’s... uh...” Taehyung starts with very flimsy conviction. “He’s into dragons.” More shrugging.]
Honestly, you might be exaggerating. You do not know much about him. Most of what you believe to know, assumed by what little you do know about him. You believe he is nice and sensible, from the way he treats his animals and the way they treat him. 
[“Oh. Holy Dumbledore!”
“Stop saying that! I told you it’s fucking disrespectful.”]
You’ve seen how much respect and trust lay between them. It’s blatant. And to create this kind of relationship with some of the fiercest creatures in the magical world, he must be something else, something exceptional. 
[“It’s him. It’s fucking him!”]
And you read about him, a lot, the two books he wrote solely about his creatures. They don’t directly tell much about him but indirectly, they hint his humility and humbleness. It’s not like that stupid Gilderoy Lockhart and his autobiographies on magical creatures. And there are the numerous articles that were written about him and his exploits and alleged character.
[“You’re lying.”
“I’m not!”
Sharp short nails are jabbing annoyingly in the skin of your forearm. It’s Taehyung, of course, he never stops bugging you. It’s his second passion after the soporific subject he’s decided to teach. You close your eyes, frowning a bit because he won’t stop, trying to annihilate him from your existence, to annihilate yourself from it too.]
Simple, humble, smart and strong. Passionate, sensible and a beautiful set of thick dark locks you want to slip your fingers through as the cherry on top. 
“It’s apple juice!” You screech in disgust, pushing your fake butterbeer far away from you. The hocus-pocus, if it irritates you, at least brings you back to earth, and back to the noisy bar. Min Yoongi mouths something about you having drunk enough but his attention is elsewhere, along with Taehyung's. 
“Oh, Merlin's beard.”
Of course, he would be there. He’s been back to Hogwarts for over a month now, you’ve never seen him around here, but of course, the day he rejects you, he has to come to your retreat, and witness the mess he's made of you. What kind of sick joke from the stars is that?
“Holy shit. Isn’t he a bit much for you?”
You know exactly what the barman means. It makes you blush slightly under the tipsy flushing already adorning your cheeks. 
If Jeon Jungkook may or may not be made of all the qualities you’ve named for him -with or without reasons-, he has some very visible, very obnoxious other qualities to him. Qualities that you’re not proud of pining over because it makes you feel shallow and superficial. The expression on Yoongi's face makes it feel better though. Justified. As if, well, here they are, you can’t deny it. And since you like his imaginary personality, you might as well like the body imaginarily hosting it. 
Jeon Jungkook is tall as a tree and as strong as one. It’s hard to tell, from here, with the layers of clothes he’s wearing on his back to protect himself from the cold, to what extent he fills them but it’s obvious he’s broad, wide. He walks with strong determined steps, with his fists tight to his sides, as tight as his jaw, square, sharp. 
He’s big. Both in appearance and aura and you can understand how Yoongi wonders if he’s not “a bit much” for you. 
“Don’t call him over!” You whisper-yell, digging your nails in the tender skin of Taehyung’s forearm. He whines, curses and tries to let himself free while telling you that of course, he’s not that dumb, he won’t. He doesn’t need to, anyway, because the guy, after seemingly exploring with his gaze the bar, sets his aim on your table, slowly starting to make his way towards you. 
“He’s coming.” Taehyung mumbles, bewildered. 
You are too. Could it be you misunderstood earlier when he said he couldn’t come because he’d be “exercising his dragons”? It can’t possibly be true. You don’t even know what the heck is up with this excuse. Because it can’t have been anything more than an excuse. Since when do dragons need to be exercised and by a wizard at that?
And now he is here. 
Literally, he’s standing right in front of your table, a hand reaching for the back of the empty chair, next to yours, but stops mid-track and backs away to his side. 
“Hi. Do you mind if I sit here ?”
You can feel, physically, the two heavy heads of your friends, turning slowly on their necks towards you, like an idiotic audience, not wanting to miss one beat of the drama playing for them. 
There’s a little snappy answer that rises to the back of your throat. Something inspired by what Taehyung said earlier, about hating him. You almost tell him aloud that he can do whatever he wants, that you don’t own this fucking chair.
Jeon Jungkook is still raspy but soft voice. With his bruised hand with the fingers red from the cold, not assertive and confident enough to dare grab the chair yet and you can’t do much but nod your head, swiftly sliding your own chair to the side to draw a little distance between you. 
It takes forever for the initial tension to drop a little bit. You can’t say anything, Taehyung the chatterbox can’t either, Jungkook probably feels too awkward by your behaviours to find a casual way to start the conversation. It’s Yoongi who realises the successful start. By doing what he does best, serving your new guest the best butterbeer there is in Hogsmead (Yoongi would say that it’s the best in the world, both magical and muggle, but given he hasn’t stepped two feet outside of this village for the past two decades, you wouldn’t give him that).
“My name’s Jungkook, by the way.” He starts quietly, in the direction of Yoongi. The latter nods and smiles a bit too eagerly. He tries to be natural, you can tell. And fail miserably, you must add. 
“I’m Min Yoongi. Welcome to Jjang Jjang!” Taehyung cringes visibly. Yoongi leans further, towards yours and Jungkooks side of the table, wanting to ignore at best the unhelpful clown beside him. “You must already know...” With a vague hand gesture, he points Taehyung and you. It makes you want to die, the idea that he knows your name, he knows you. You’re unsure what’s going on. Why he’s here, where this will lead. But it would all feel infinitely better if you knew that somehow, he didn’t know anything about you. It’s hard to remember people without their name. It’s the first thing you learn about someone, really, like a tag they’re wearing on their foreheads and when recalling about them, ever, consciously or not, the name comes always. He knows yours so he won't forget you.
It takes all of you a short eternity to warm up to each other. The bar is still noisy, with its occasional rough burst of laughter from the tough-looking wizards, maybe missionaries, the high giggles of a group of Hogwarts 7th year students hidden in a corner. You’re all nurturing your drinks, even you with your stupid apple juice and the unease is even louder, the silence deafening in the middle of the concert of voices and shatters of glasses. 
Until Taehyung says something weird, “So you like dragons, uh?” You don't understand why he persists on making it sound weird, like he's romantically interested in them. 
You hit him under the table, a good kick to the kneecap but it’s clear to everyone that his yelp comes from you. That makes Jungkook laughs. 
He pretty much giggles, sounding like a boy, head tilted down forward with his locks sadly hiding his smile. 
“Yeah, you could say that.” He finally answers, clearing his throat, words coming out sweet and sheepish-like, as if he’s embarrassed from having been caught laughing.
“Oh, that explains this.” Yoongi says, pointing at his skin and the numerous bruises orning it. You’ve never hit Min Yoongi because 1) he’s older than you, 2) he’s a tiny little thing that you’re scared to hurt but you are this close, the width of a hair away, from throwing your foot up again and hit him in the junk. For a second, Jungkook seems awkward. Staring himself at his hands, one sliding over the other, the tip of his thumb grazing with insistence on a deep scar. Until he raises his head again, you assume to let his eyes go over your faces, studying them silently and something he sees there, maybe innocent benevolence -even if Yoongi's comment was lowkey inappropriate, he didn’t mean any ill- and something else, childish excitement probably suffice to relax him. Letting his hands be, one wrap around his pint, the other flat on the tabletop, tip of his fingers drumming quietly every now and then, out in the open for anyone who'd like to to see. 
“They tend to be a bit playful.” He says this with a sly smile raising the corner of his mouth. Something ridiculously sexy that makes you choke on your fake beer and back away from him even more. You shouldn’t raise an arm to plant your elbow into the table, as a sort of shield between you two, because it’s rude and lame, but you do it anyway. Because it’s all a lot. 
He's a lot.
Yoongi, probably, knows you better than you could ever imagine. Seeing right through you, added to the statement he raised earlier -and maybe he was right, maybe he's a whole lot, and a whole lot too much for you-, he reconsiders forbidding you from consuming any more alcohol. Kindly, he manifests a glass of sparkling juice, right in front of you. It's a light peach colour, from the first sniff of the aroma, you can tell it won't knock you unconscious any time soon. It's more sugar than alcohol but at least, it succeeds to soothe the harsh edges of your nerves. Because your nerves are on the verge of a fucking spontaneous combustion.
"Hey! Why does she get another one?" Since earlier, Taehyung, too, has been switched to a strictly non-alcoholic beverages diet. He's not happy about it but you understand easily Yoongi's train of thought. You need to relax so you deserve a little something -especially given the fact that Jeon Jungkook's appearance had you almost entirely sobered up-, while Taehyung's stupid mouth is way too loose and needs to be fed something soft and safe.
"Because he likes me and he hates you." You mutter, not daring to look up from your glass by fear of coming across your neighbour's attention. Your comment is well received though. You allow yourself to joke like that because everyone, Taehyung included, knows that Kim Taehyung is everyone's favourite. No matter the competition. No one can hate him, even when he's boring as hell, even when he's too loud, too nosy, dumb or annoying. He knows it as well as you do and each time you throw one of these snarky taunts, a glint of amusement sparkles his almond eyes and he loves to act all hurt and offended. 
He turns all gasps and bombastic hand movements, claiming unfairness, misery. You start nagging back at him, adding more about how dumb he sounds and stupid he looks, while he counteracts with more dramatic appalled cries, as Yoongi just shrinks onto himself, shaking his head in disconcertment -even though, he's too used to your antics to be any surprised nor confused. 
You're so caught up in your childish bickerings that slowly, only you two, and the amusement you're trying to contain in your stomach, matter and exist. Jeon Jungkook disappearing entirely. It has your voice turn louder, mimicking Taehyung's, your insults getting bolder, your face raises as you squint your eyes menacingly at your friend.
It's once Taehyung grabs the wand from his pocket and aims it at you, threatening to turn you into a pile of ghoul's shit if you won't shut up, that he's reminded to you.
The giggles, like earlier. Boyish and rusty, uncommon, that can only be his, ring and bless your right ear. It has you shut up instantly. Startled, you stare at him, only for a soft smile to grow on your lips, fond as you are to see him laugh like that, because of you. 
You must look stupid as your eyes jump to Taehyung, silently begging him to acknowledge the wonder taking place just next to you, too giddy, too excited, too blushy to be part of it. He just grins back at you, nods his head even though you're not exactly sure at what, one of his elbows poking Yoongi's side.
"How long have you two been friends ?" He asks once he's managed to calm down his fit with a bite on his lower lip. Your heart is running a marathon and you're not sure for how long it'll keep holding up, you might need to focus all of your energy on the course, on not breaking a leg or pass out in the middle of the run, but you refuse, because he's talked to you again, because your best friends are accessorily here to help out, ease a bit of the burden of having to face the terrifying idea of being rejected (again), of failing at being good enough, somehow, to a guy you don't know much but like a lot.
Therefore you answer, aiming a joking dark glare at Taehyung because it helps to look at him, "Too long." Jungkook sniggers at the answer as Taehyung slips his ugly tongue out to you.
Somehow the tension diffuses itself. As if now that all of you had placed a word in the conversation, played somehow a role in it, it feels better, the ice has been melted and you can all, finally, relax.
Without even realising, your elbow slips from the tabletop, you're still wary, still very much aware of him sitting so close to you but you're fine with it.
As the drinks, more or less loaded, flow, Jungkook's cheeks fill up with mountains upon mountains of the fried wonders Jjang Jjang's beloved house-elf, Seokjin, has to offer, the discussion runs smoothly, tongues untied and excited.
It starts with Taehyung telling a very inaccurate version of your first meeting and blooming of this decades-old friendship (you add now and then, when the exaggerations and blatant lies get too much, little modifications to the tale that have Jungkook snigger and nod his head discreetly to you in secret confidence). It continues with Jungkook, pressured by a very adamant audience (which you are not part of, even if you are probably the most interested in the topic, in any topic that would have him speak a bit more, you don't want to bother him with your curiosity which Taehyung and Yoongi do not seem the least disturbed about) telling about the couple of last years he'd spent all around the world, in the most secluded corners of Earth, where only dangerous creatures like his beloved pets live and where only the foolhardiest or most suicidal wizards dare to adventure. As you expected, he's quite humble about it. He doesn't insist on details that make your heads spin in bewilderment, shrugging his shoulders lightly when you're the one whisper-yelling that "but you could've died?!". After a lot of cooing, from all angles of the table, tiny whispers repeating some of his words like a strange echo as you all try to handle the admiration -and intoxication-, he starts feeling himself, a tiny, discreet but visible smile, slyly redrawing the corner of his mouth. He shrugs a little less, nods his head firmly a little more, voice louder and more confident, shaping in the full form it's able to take.
He sounds lovely when he doesn't care anymore. When he feels unrestrained, comfortable and easy-going. He laughs a lot, you notice. It colours almost every single one of yours and your friends' comments, and maybe the fact that you're all a bit dumbed by shock and interest and starstruck and tipsiness makes it so that they're pretty ridiculous, hence him laughing so much. It's not so much that you're all hilarious, rather than you all being pretty stupid but it doesn't matter. You note how easy his laughter, that you couldn't even picture before hearing it for yourself, can come out. How open he is to meddle with you.
He fits so well in your bubble. This personal place only Taehyung and Yoongi have ever been authorized to inhabit. He matches perfectly. It fills your heart and mind with so much content, you feel your cheeks hurt from smiling constantly without meaning too. It's what he does, you suppose, making you smile. And when you notice the pink tint colouring his cheeks, rounded out lovingly so by a grin, you assume he's feeling the same, enjoying his time with all of you, your heart dips in the warmest bath. 
"Dude!" For the umpteenth time, he's trying to wave himself some air with a hand. Taehyung has had enough and just slammed his fist to the table, making everything on it knock against each other, Yoongi's eyes this close to falling out of their sockets. Jungkook just giggles some more, he might be a bit tipsy. "Just tie your hair up, you're making me sweat just looking at your mop!"
"I don't even have-" Taehyung's already up from his chair, he bumps his leg in the process but pay it no attention, marching over his future victim with a little hair-tie that seemed to appear from thin air -probably did too. Jungkook is so lenient with your best friend, too lenient you'd say, you wouldn't even have it in you. When he excitedly reaches forward, his long fingers parting the dark locks in two, he's trying to tie one end into a little side ponytail. Before he's even done with the first one, you roll your eyes, knowing what he's aiming for. Of course, he wouldn't just give him a regular manbun or something.
For the first time, you meet one of Jungkook's eyes, the one uncovered thanks to Taehyung's shenanigan. It's round, dark but warm like rich chocolate, sparkling with exhilaration but concerned.
"What's he doing?" He asks you, unbeknownst to the fact that meeting half of his face for the first time, the endearing pretty thing, stole every single little last word from you. With two fists hold to the side of your head, you attempt to show him the cute girly hairstyle Taehyung has in mind. He winces at that, nose scrunching into itself so high, the round thing turns into something adorable, shaking his head to try to free himself from your friend's prying hands, a grin still on his lips.
"Stop being such a baby!" Taehyung growls, trying for a little while to keep ongoing, his hand desperately holding onto the second bunch of hair. He's soon forced to stop as the victim turns to be too unwilling. "Ok fine! You do it then!" 
It's you he is barking to. If the hair tie thrown straight in your eye is any teller. It renders you blind for a second. Until you can blink the stingy discomfort away and you’re greeted by Jungkook and his endearing face with the oh so adorable tiny tail hanging from the side of his head, observing you with great attention, single eye blinking worrisome. He looks cute, half dolled up like a girl, fearful and curious to discover how you’ll treat him. For a second, you are tempted to follow your friend's design. Because how cute would this man look with two ponytails hanging on top of his head, with maybe even tiny hair clips to perfect it all.
He’d be pissed though and wouldn’t keep it probably so what’s the point.
The real point is that you have a hair tie in your hand, fingers itching on instinct to play with the shiny raven locks and the owner of said pretty locks, silently permitting you to do just that.
Maybe Taehyung is not as dumb and as useless as you thought him to be. Your prior reflex would be to assume he didn’t even mean to create this opportunity for you. He’s just invading as a person, touchy-feely and very comfortable with anyone entering his vicinity. You do owe him more credits and you willingly give them to him for this time. Because if he didn’t intend to put your foot on the stirrup, he surely did anyway, with a natural and a smoothness you couldn’t imagine coming from him. 
Standing behind Jungkook's chair, hands hovering centimetres away, you feel so blessed, you’d jump over to Taehyung's side to snug him to your fervent heart if you didn’t have better at hand -and if the idea of actually having him this close to you did not fill you with an immense cringe.
Taehyung is watching, over the rim of his glass, with an obnoxious, kid like excited sparks burning you uncomfortably. You curse him out, soundlessly but with such great articulation, he can’t possibly miss the words.
Yoongi who watches all of it notices and understands it all as he always does even when he pretends he doesn’t, starts talking then. Something about Brazil where Jungkook had spent nine months, living alone in the wild forest of Amazonia, and about the curious plants and fruits he heard that could be found there. It’s a nice distraction. Soon Jungkook is on it again, Taehyung partakes a role in it too, leaving you alone to handle the grandiose yet terrifying fantasy that is touching and messing with Jungkook's hair.
The first ponytail comes undone easily, the hair tie simply slipping off with just the tip of your fingers to guide it.
When you timidly start, reaching with two hands to grab all of the hair from him, you feel a rush of blood to your cheeks, heart skipping beats and perspiration bubbling at your temple. Your fingers just have to graze slightly the skin of his neck, all warm and soft, you have to do it a few times even because his pretty locks are rebellious and your fingers too willing to let them run in between them, silky as they are. 
There’s a strand refusing your gentle taming, slipping from your grasp and falling in front of his eye. You go to catch it back, meeting hot fingers on his temples. Yours surrender immediately. Jungkook from the corner of his eye, over his shoulder, throw you a glance and a smile. A small one, small but fond. 
"Doesn't it get lonely?" Yoongi asks as Jungkook tucks the strand behind his ear.
"Not really. I'm used to it." He shrugs. You take your sweet, sweet time to finish the half-bun, half-tail hairdo you're working on. Somehow something lovely has settled. Something comfortable, domestic. He's not wary of your touch, letting you mess with his hair, not even flinching when, tentatively, just taking a chance, just once, the pad of your thumb stroke the hot skin of his neck. "Dragons can be very affectionate-" That makes Taehyung cackles as Yoongi gasps in disbelief. You have a hard time picturing those creatures as affectionate. Jungkook is different anyway. You need to be different to go after the path he's chosen for himself. "I swear!" Taehyung rolls his eyes, shaking his head.
"Have you considered all this time spent away from civilization turned you mad?"
The bun is done, sadly. You made it last for as long as you could but eventually, as every perfect moment, it has to come to an end. You don't even bother to hide your dread as you let your ass drop to your chair, puffing.
"Leave him alone, moron." A few peanuts to his stupid head and Taehyung stops messing with Jungkook, stops acting like he's insane and starts telling about something no one cares about -so much so, Yoongi leaves to go chat up an old goblin who's just entered the bar.
Jungkook turns to you, leaning a bit. Smiling quietly, gently. As if he doesn't realise the face he owns once his hair isn't hiding the majority of it anymore. 
It must be a joke. He must know. He must have noticed how his straight, dark eyebrows, with the cut splitting the right one in half, gives an irresistible, dark, mature shape to the roundest, sparkliest set of eyes the world has ever seen. He must know his face is a wonderful work of art, with the tiny little details, here and there, adding charms and depth and uniqueness, that only the greatest, only a special artist would know to use -like this faint scar linking a mole under his lip to the corner of his mouth, or the one craving in the top of his cheek. His colours are splendid too. While you'd always seen him with black everything, black hair, black clothes, quiet sombre aura and a tiny bit of red, you'd catch sometimes, where he'd hurt his hands. Never would have you thought, he's more harlequin than monochromatic. Golden scopes, tipsy patches of red matching the tiny pout he owns for a mouth, eyes not dark but the richest shade of chocolate.
"You," Jungkook starts in a whisper, now so close you have a whiff of his smell, torturous scent of pinewood, of soot, and something else, more natural, sweat most definitely but turns out to be the better element of the mixture, suave, awfully addictive. "you believe me, don't you?" You need a full minute to get your brain's vessels to connect. A full minute during which you have no idea what the hell he's talking about, what words are and how to use them, and all you can focus on is not dying from a heart attack -and also, not show that you are having one.
You shake your head up and down, still unsure to what you're agreeing to. It does not matter that much because he's smiling the way he does. The adorable smile another wonderful novelty, shaped like a bunny one, eating up his upper lip into the thinnest cupid bow. The sparks in his eyes, on his cheeks, from excitement, mirth. He's really here with you, warmer than you've ever thought him able to be, and somehow, different than what you had expected, but thousand times more endearing. Having developed a crush on him previously makes more and more sense by the second.
"Thank you for the invitation." He says quietly. You don't miss a single word, nor the least flinch in his intonation (soothing, genuine), even in the loudness of the bar, because, for some reason, he's never leaned back. He remains there, hardly a dozen of centimetres away from you.
"No problem." You lie, effortlessly after a few gulps of liquid courage. If you're enchanted by the evening, the unexpected turns of events, he still made you go through a short misery for this. He must see your awkwardness, he must notice how you're sweating bullets and swallowing with difficulty. How your eyes keep battling between wanting to bath in his and avoid them at all cost. Jungkook doesn't budge though and it almost gets annoying, almost upset you how he doesn't care -or maybe simply doesn't realise- the effect he's having on you. "I thought you couldn't-" You start, meaning to sting him a bit because he deserves it.
"I finished early, and um-"
"Was it even real?" You ask, genuinely curious to have him clear this out for you. It's not like you're mad anymore. On your face, you only feel a tingle at the apple of your cheeks from how many smiles and waves of laughter you've shared, the desperate tears from earlier long dried and gone. "The excuse, I mean."
"It wasn't an excuse..." Jungkook turns his face away from you then. Biting hard on his bottom lip, a traitorous grin hardly contained. The tip of his ears are flushed, you wonder from what, until you see his hand raising to the top of his head where it flats down hair that doesn't need it. "I- I just-" Maybe it's seeing him this abashed that pushes you forward, literally, scraping your chair to the wooden floor, thigh meeting his in the process. "I was startled when you- asked. When you said my name even, I wasn't- like- expecting it and I'm not used to-" He cuts himself off, a hand vaguely motioning the room.
"To what?" You insist, mimicking his murmuring tone, terrified as you are to pop out the little bubble now only he and you dwell. 
"Going out with people or just- hang out, I don't know." He looks inherently embarrassed now. Possibly even a bit saddened, you note. Still, his face remains open, kind, the ever-boyish smile teasing at least the corner of his lips. You don't mean to be so sappy but you wish, consciously, right this second, for this very moment to last an eternity or at least, for your memory to take a picture realistic enough, as in-depth and detailed as possible so that you'll be able to recall and relive it for years to come. 
"Oh. Dragons don't like to go clubbing?" He bumps your thigh with his knee, chortling at your words but shaking his head nonetheless. As you stare at his thigh, covered by a cheap black cloth stretched to the very limit, stuck to yours, almost supported by yours, sending a continuous channel of heat from there to the pit of your stomach, it seems like you've reached a determining point. A definite phase where you can handle him (more or less). Enough not to liquefy on the spot at his every glance, while remaining way too aware of him, his smell, his warmth, every sound coming out of his mouth, his lovely, lovely charms. 
You really like him.
"My head hurts." Taehyung's half-dead on the table. You're not too worried because as his head lies flat, his hair marinating in a pool of spilt beer, he can mumble with a lot of coherence about how heavy his head feels, and how it will probably weigh this much until Monday. Jungkook grabs a bunch of tissues to try to slip under Taehyung's head as an absorbing pillow, it's no use though, because Taehyung, strangely enough, feels too comfortable in this position to let himself be disturbed. Jungkook seems concerned, a bit bothered even -way more than you are because you are very much used to this depiction of lame- until Yoongi passes by, observing with deep disapproval written all over his face. He kicks on purpose one of Taehyung's chair legs, making him groan, and leaves.
Greediness turns you bold. Knocking Jungkook's leg the same way he did earlier, you call back his attention on you. For some reason, he stares at your legs, touching. You wonder for a second if you shouldn't have. It's not that much, he did it earlier, but maybe you shouldn't have. He's too pensive. Doesn't budge a muscle. In deep reflection. You hit him again, a tiny little push, and a few others to follow, like an annoying bratty kid trying to steal someone's attention. His hand finds its way to your knee then, enclasps it entirely, thumb pressing and you have no idea if any of this means anything, but it does send a rush of jolt straight between your legs. Surely he doesn't mean this use of firmness to turn you on, does he? How could he even guess it having this effect? You didn't even know it yourself.
It does work though. You stop acting like a feisty little brat, patiently waiting for him to be ready to listen to you. He pretends, mean as he is, that the hand won't stay, letting it slide slightly away from your knee. It doesn't go far though. Somehow it's comfortable a bit higher on your thigh. Not very high. It's awfully PG, awfully casual and platonic, but it serves to drive you a little breathless.
With the wide glassy eyes, the small smile that keeps finding its seat on his lips each time he turns to face you, he's all ears, all eyes, just for you. It's infuriating. Galvanizing. You lavish in it.
"You said it doesn't get lonely?" You blurp out, putting all efforts on focusing on the question you are sincerely curious about. If you didn't have it blinking loud and bright in your brain for the past ten minutes, you would have had it long lost and forgotten. He's messing with your head. But you owe to ask. The curious sadness, that you may have imagined for all you know, you saw briefly earlier needs to be addressed.
If it ever were there, it's gone anyway. As he stares into your eyes, seemingly pondering his next words around in his head, there's a gleam shining to you personally there.
"It doesn't when you don't know what you're missing."
"I don't feel too good, puffskein." Taehyung burps out. Thanks to some miracle, he doesn't end up vomiting all over the table but it's obvious he's this close to it and needs to be taken home. It takes all the goodness of your soul, all of it, to control your urge to grab your wand and throw a forbidden curse on his stupid ass.
The asshole makes you out to be an ungrateful friend, appreciation long gone, aggravation deeply grounded. It was going so well.
Tumblr media
"Sorry about Taehyung." You start, wincing a bit. Your back leaned against the door of your room, it's late, quiet and badly lit up in Hogwarts' hallways. Taehyung is sound asleep in his bed, fully clothed and wrenching of a burp who turned down to be vomit. You've managed to use your wand on him, something to make sure he'll have a long and safe night and a rather gentler awakening tomorrow.
Jungkook pretty much carried him on his back, all the way to his bed, without much of a complaint, only a growl or two when Taehyung showed himself difficult in the capricious stairs hall -because it's the best and safest place to try and stumble, blindly, drunk out of your mind. 
"It's fine. I had a great time."
"Dragging Tae's drunk ass all the way here was fun to you?" You tease, squinting at him. You know what he means. You know that he knows what you mean. You're only trying to earn time. Just a little bit more time. It's late, he's about to leave you for his room, you assume, and you're not just ready for it yet.
"Maybe not this part."
You don't know what to say to make him stay. It's not like you could possibly invite him inside, is it?
Yoongi would say it's way too soon. Another version of you, maybe a twenty-four-hour younger version of you, the one that didn't know him from this close yet, that didn't get to talk and undergo the full experience that is Jeon Jungkook, to feel his hand on your thigh, his pretty eyes -Merlin, there is a time when you didn't even suspect he hid those wonders right here- would agree. It's not your kind, to have hook-ups. You wouldn't even know how to.
That being said, it's not like you often meet Jeon Jungkooks.
You're not that greedy. You're sure of it. When he's leaning himself against the wall, shoulder pressed against it to support himself, head slightly tilted, watching you soundly, the corner of his lips always curled upward. His eyes say it all. Completely black in the shadow, hooded, tempting. Sending heat to your core, shudders along your spine, tingles to the tip of your fingers.
If he says something, if he suggests anything, you'll say yes. He just has to say it. You've been courageous enough already. Asking him out, talking to him, and everything else. You just can't. You can't imagine admitting out loud what you wish to happen now, exposing yourself to him again by asking him if he'd like to stay the night.
And it's too soon, isn't it?
But Hell, you still have the lucid memory of his hair, running in between your fingers and it's become undeniable how bad you'd like to have it again except this time, you could be less delicate.
"I should probably go."
The disappointment is the language you speak because you're too tired to filter the vexation in your voice, "What, your dragons need to be tucked in?"
"Uh?" He chortles. All teeth out, eyes a bit wide, he regards your face, evidently amused. "Is there anything on your mind you'd like to share, maybe?"
"Absolutely not." You're bratty. It's the tiredness and maybe the butterbeer too. Undoubtedly the frustration. Arms crossed, looking away, pouting because somehow you are unable to relax your mouth and need to be so obvious about it all.
"Are you mad at my dragons?" Jungkook asks lightly. If you don't dare look at his face right now, you can guess it. He must have that smirk you've seen a glimpse of a few times tonight. From your peripheral vision, you can tell he's mocking you. Standing away from the wall, a step closer to you, chest puffed out and arms crossed on it.
"Why would I be?" You mumble, ever so vexed. 
"Exactly." He's holding back a laugh, you can hear it louder than if he were to let it out.
Continuing, same tone, same pout, squinting harder at the void that is the end of the hall, "They sound awesome, I have no reason-"
"They are. You should meet them."
Startled, you look up to him, eyes wide with both fear and interest. "Should I?"
"Yeah." His tongue swipes swiftly over his bottom lip before he bites on it for a second, pondering. "Go to bed now so that you're in good shape tomorrow and I'll introduce you then."
Of course, he'd be so casual about it but the idea kind of blows your mind. "Really?" You've seen dragons from afar a very few times, during competitions or this one time, with Taehyung at that circus in Wales. But never have you approached one. Like most wizards, at least all wizards holding the basic amount of worth necessary to their life, it's not something you want to do: approach a dragon. You know that for the Care of Magical Creatures class, Jungkook only brings one dragon at a time. The class with their professor standing on one end of a wasteland, and Jungkook, at least a hundred feet away, presents them the animal. 
"Yeah," Jungkook says again, bobbing his head along. You're dazzled by the light the grin adorning his face brought. He really wants to show you his dragons. "But early. Like super early. They're tired in the morning so they won't be too... agitated."
"Is this supposed to reassure me?" He shrugs with the same cheerful beaming. 
"Did you hurt yourself with Taehyung?" For the third time tonight, you've seen him reach a hand over his shoulder, messily massaging the muscle with a tiny grimace on his face. He hasn't mentioned it so you did not bring it up but the thought that maybe it's your dumbass of a best friend who's responsible awakes your guilt.
"No, it's not Taehyung." He scoffs. Almost offended that you could imply he hurt himself that way. "I had a bad fall."
"On your back? How do you fall on your back?" There are, actually, a lot of ways for someone to fall on their back but somehow, you can only imagine Quidditch players to have the occasion to do so. You haven't fallen to the ground since you were twelve and finally mastered the skill of flying on a cheap broomstick. But Jungkook is different, right?
"Tina. You'll meet her tomorrow."
Tina. One of his dragons. Of course. He sounds so excited to introduce you to a mythical creature who manifestly attacked him, you start to wonder if that's not the thing that is wrong about him. Because everything is too sweet and lovely and perfect about him, something must be wrong -or else, it's not fair. And maybe his thing is that he is batshit crazy.
"Anyway," A clearing of the throat -you almost missed those, "go to bed. Sleep tight. Tomorrow, I want you-" Your heart stops in your bosom. There's the tongue winking at you again, through his pink lips, it's indecent, makes you forget it all about his alleged insanity, "alive and kicking."
You roll your eyes, raising your eyebrows, bewildered by his choice of words. He laughs, again. The boyish one but quieter, as if he's scared to wake the castle or just a grumpy painting possibly hanging somewhere in the dark. It's lovely. "Thanks for walking me to my room. And for Tae." You say, sincerely, turning to your door to open it.
"You're very welcome." Before you disappear in your suite, you glance his way. It's sappy-you again, needing to take a mental picture of his face, with the hair still pushed back, the rebellious strand from earlier curling against his cheek, his handsome everything, his soft expression and charming smile. He doesn't seem to mind. If anything he's doing the same, not hinting to a departure until you take it upon yourself that maybe, it's enough staring at each other wordlessly for tonight and you wave him goodnight, closing the door behind you.
By Merlin's beard, what the hell happened today?
Tumblr media
And what the fuck is going on, now?
Your ass down on the hard ground, head dizzy, with a little warm tingling sensation in the crook of your neck. 
Jungkook is standing, looking like he’s a thousand feet tall with his long legs, chest puffed out and leaning upward. He’s facing Tina, the infamous Tina, about his height if you put aside the long tail laying flat to the ground in between her legs. She's a bright degraded of a deep purple and a fire red, covered in scales, sharp and standing upwards every few seconds as if they're breathing along with her lungs.
He has a forearm blocking her jaws open, glaring with the most severe set of eyes you could never have imagined on him boring holes in her flamboyant ones. He’s growling things in a language you think you recognise as Romanian, barking in her face as he forces his arm deeper, gagging her, not caring about the sharp teeth digging in his skin. 
After a while of the strangest and scariest staring contest you’ve ever witnessed, the tail lying between her legs flap once and she whines a heartbreaking mewl.
His face softens at that, slightly, he frees her from his arm, taking a step back while keeping an attentive eye on her. 
Tina snivels more, as soon as her master’s attention hints at leaving her, rubbing the tip of her gigantic snot against his shoulder blade. 
“Not now.” He says, sending her away with a pat to the side of her neck. 
This is the weirdest thing you’ve ever experienced. 
You simply remain there, staring, gaping, trying to process it all. 
You’ve been jumped by a dragon and Jeon Jungkook is-
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” He still has his hair pushed back in a messier bun than the one you made for him yesterday as if he knows that you like him a lot like that. Therefore nothing is hiding the most pitiful look you've ever seen on anyone's face when he looks down to you. Eyebrows dropping low above shiny wide pearls, his two hands reaching for you, munching nervously on his lip. 
-Terrible. You just had the biggest fright of your entire life -and probably, hopefully, the last one of the kind- and all you can think about, is how wet you got from Jungkook growling like an animal, and somehow intimidating the fiercest animal there is to submission. 
“She doesn’t- I didn’t think she’d be that excited, I’m sorry, ___.” He mumbles, guilt laced in every syllabus he pronounces. You accept one of his hand, sliding yours against his palm, hot and calloused, sending warm all over your body as he squeezes around your fingers. “It’s my fault. She’s used to playing rough with me and she doesn’t control her strength very well yet-“ 
He bends over, catching your second hand in his and lifts you, a bit too strongly given how you are entirely made of mush right now. You hit his chest in the process, he has to steady you once you’re up on your wobbly legs. He holds you with a hand to your upper arm, still hot, still firm, it has the blood to your face boil even more. What kind of experience would it be to bathe entirely in this warmth, to have not the least stupid barrier in between yours and his skin, to feel his firm hold grabbing you, his whole body covering you and pressing you down?
You need to focus on the pets. 
Tina seems upset, a few meters away, her tail slapping the ground impatiently but her head held low. There are three others, different sizes and spices, quietly laying above the trees forming the forest glade. They’re watching inquisitively, quiet, as cats would, you had no idea they could behave like that but then again, they were raised by this fucking guy. 
The guy still holding you close, breathing hard over your forehead, who’s most definitely searching for your eyes you are deliberately not allowing him to meet. You’re not mad. A bit shook still maybe. You’re just soaked, head filled with inappropriate thoughts you're terrified he might hear from how loud they are. And the oblivious idiot keeps apologising and asking if you’re fine because you should not be, you should probably be more traumatised, certainly not aroused as you are, especially when he’s feeling this guilty. You catch a wobble in one of his words and wonder if he could even cry from a guilty conscious. 
Therefore you grant him a glance. 
“I’m fine, Jungkook. Really.”
He must see something there, hear the subtle tilt your voice, too soft, has taken because he nods, visibly relaxing. His hand departs slowly, fingers grazing your skin. 
“Jungkook, I have something for you.” You say it like you know where it’ll lead. Frankly, you have no idea. You can hope, wish very loud and clear in your mind, but you can’t bet on it. “For your back.” You fish out of your shoulder bag a tiny flask. With its shimmery blue content, the tag on it with his name and a short note consisting of wishes of healing you’re somehow embarrassed to show him. “I made it before coming. It should fix your back in no time.”
“That’s very kind of you, ___. Thank you.” He grabs your hand along with the bottle as if he couldn’t take it on its own, and now you’re sure he knows what he’s doing to you. He can’t be innocently stealing all of these touches from you without knowing how intensely pleasing it feels all over.
“Don’t thank me yet, you might not like the... process.” He raises an eyebrow, head slanting to the side. “It’s a bit uncomfortable for like... 30 seconds and then it gets better.” 
“How uncomfortable?” 
“Well... Nothing too bad. I’m sure you handled way worse.” He can see you’re not completely honest with him. For your defence, looking at all the scars scattered on the very few skin your eyes have access too, he must be used to some kind of pain. It’s not painful per se. It is uncomfortable. Like dipping a firstly warmed up skin in a cryogenic liquid for half a minute kind of uncomfortable. He senses it. Watching the strange liquid carefully, suspiciously, he’s not certain he’ll use it. 
“Is it dangerous?”
You scoff, hands raising to your sides, “No, I mean- Not if you apply it correctly, it’s fine.”
“If I-“ He worries at his lip, frowning, mentally debating the subject as if it’s that much of a big deal. Honestly, the risk, is, not that tragic. An over-application can cause a curious discolouration that will, later on, turn into a marble-like blue patch -it might be definite but you’re not sure-, you can potentially burn your skin too but usually, it only happens -and it’s the case with any magical ointment really- if it’s mixed with another ingredient it shouldn’t come in contact with or on a body that’s already under certain charms -which is not his case, you assume-, and of course, an ointment made for local application should in no circumstances be ingested. It’s not that complicated. He doesn’t need to look so scared and suspicious. 
“For Merlin’s sake, Jungkook! Don’t use it if-“ You aim to snap it out of his hand but he’s quicker, holding up where you can’t reach, the corner of his eyes crinkling cutely. 
“No I want to but- can you do it for me? You worried me.”
“You really are a big baby, aren’t you?” He shrugs, doesn’t deny it. He looks cute like that. Dancing on his two feet, munching on his lip, hands deep in the pockets of his pants. “Fine.” You say without meaning it. You wouldn’t say that you’re fine or that you’ll be fine. 
When he walks you to his cabin, twenty meters away from the dragons' playground, your heart starts beating hard and fast, more furiously at every step. It might not mean much more than a nurse job. At the same time, would it make any sense for you to not take the opportunity to take a step and make it more than that? Kim Taehyung would turn you into some kind of pile of whatever gross creature's shit if he were to hear that.
The cabin is super tiny, rustic and barely equipped. Wooden floor, wooden walls, wooden furniture -if you can call them that. Mentally, you curse at Mrs Umbridge. If she didn’t plan this on purpose just because she despises the guy and his pets. You can tell he sleeps in it because of the shitty mattress sitting on a pile of wooden boxes, with the sheets unmade. Discarded used clothes in a corner, a little tower made of books that all seem to be about travelling, magical creatures and travellers’ autobiographies. It’s dark, smells like soot with a tint of something sweet, as if the remnants of a pastry made of cinnamon is hiding somewhere.
Jungkook excuses himself for the mess, even if it’s not much compared to the poor condition he must have received the cabin as, jumping to the only window to tear open the dusty curtain.
It brings a bit of light inside, a subdued but warm yellow-ray coming straight from the barely awakening Sun.
It feels a bit stuffy in here. With him taking over the whole space, and your lungs struggling to pump normally. It feels too intimate, to be standing a few steps away from the place he sleeps in at night. Too intimate because you're not used to it, and two days ago, or even fucking yesterday morning, you would have never thought you'd ever be standing here.
"It's cosy."
You comment, humming to yourself, at the same time as he asks, "Should I take off my shirt?"
You almost choke, tilting your head, watching him with misplaced shock. He's already holding the hem of his black shirt higher on his stomach, exposing smooth golden skin, tight on a thin, sculpted waist, a trail of teasing black hair under his belly button, yet looking at you with his wide round eyes, unsure, quite innocent somehow.
"I don't think you need to- the whole thing." Coward-you hurries to answer, trying to divert your attention to anything but him.
Jungkook turns around, giving you his back and raising his hands to the back neck of his shirt, wincing silently, as he lifts the cloth. The back is almost worst than the front. The thin waist you had a glimpse of, the smooth skin with the golden highlights, the cute dimples at the bottom of his back, the developed, beautifully drawn muscles. A dizzying hot flush takes over your head.
This guy is a mystery. Under his thick, oversized clothes, you knew he was well built, but never would you have expected that. It's not like you care about it usually but with him standing in front of you, smelling so wonderful, with this thing, intense and unique, linking and running in between you two, you can't ignore it all. You can't ignore nor deny how attracted you are and giddy and greedy at the idea of seeing it, of touching it all -when most people don't even get close enough to him to suppose what he's hiding.
It's easy to get back to Earth and the present moment with the large, blue hematoma marking his right scapula. It looks painful as hell, so much so you wonder how he's been handling it so far, how he hasn't visited the infirmary yet, how often it happens and if he always simply tighten his jaws and take the pain until it just leaves.
He turns you cheesy again. You'd like to lean forward and press a kiss to make it better. You wouldn't dare though, and you know, for a fact, that the ointment you prepared for him would be an infinite amount of times more effective to heal him.
He shudders at some point. Probably because you're taking a short eternity to do anything, or just say anything, silently contemplating instead.
Gulping hard, you start, "Bear with me, ok? It'll be better in no time." He grumbles something to himself, way too quiet for you to hear over the loud popping of your potion's bottle and the even louder rummaging of your heart in your bosom.
The first drops seem to be fine. He's not squirming under the gentle touch of your fingertips, handling the strange sensation that the potion causes at first, instantly warming up at the contact with skin. He even relaxes, letting you spread evenly all over the bruise, calm and still as the perfect patient. Until he squeals.
"Fuck, what- ah!"
On reflex, he tries to bend and twist, attempting desperately to avoid the inhumanly freezing discomfort burning his skin. You try to hold him still, hands clasped to his shoulders but he wouldn't stop wriggling, whining like a hurt puppy.
For a tough guy, he can't handle much, you decide. It's amusing but concerning as you see him move around so much, you can imagine how he's stimulating the pain coming directly from his injury rather than the ointment.
"Jungkook, stop!" He manages to knock the pile of his books down with a blind kick. "It'll last just a few seconds, calm down!" Your hands fully pressed against his bruise, the heat coming from your overly agitated heart helping, it releases some of the cold. Somehow your tiny hands on his broad back are enough and he sighs in contentment, just a tiny whimper uttered as a remnant of his short but intense torment.
"Are you ok?" You ask after a few minutes. His breathing has quieted down too. His shoulders hanging low, his head relaxed, ease and comfort have taken over his body and mind.
"Yeah. But-" Tentatively, he tests out his right shoulder, rolling it up and down a few times, a tiny impressed 'wow' escapes him and you grin to yourself, enchanted to see him acknowledge your talent. "When you said discomfort-"
"Sorry about that. I thought you wouldn't want to try but it's worth it, isn't it?"
"It is." He has a sudden burst of laughter when he turns around, flashing you a relieved smile. You can read in his eyes that he's a bit surprised, a bit confused himself about what's so funny, probably settling on the little fright the experience gave him. You won't mention that the potion, if it's so effective and this, so quickly, is because it has very highly active ingredients that mess with the organism as soon as it penetrates the skin and his insides might be a tiny bit all over the place for a few moments.
Suddenly, a big whooshing sound comes from outside, seemingly knocking against the front wall of the cabin and making it shake on its hinges. It just makes him chuckle some more, not worried the least and beyond amused by your reflex to step towards him, hands raised, this close to grabbing a hold of his shirt.
"It's just Tina getting impatient, don't worry."
"Don't worry?" You scoff. The mention of her name brings back the memory from earlier. For some reasons, Jungkook's presence now and inside that memory, make it all seem rather mundane but you're sure, you're positive that you should feel traumatized by what happened. A dragon fucking attacked you. Jungkook shoots you a crooked smile you can't say you recognise. With a little bite on the corner of his bottom lip, dark eyes squinted yet shinning mischief.
"You're safe with me." He says, voice low, teasing, as one of his hand reaches for his index and thumb to pinch lightly at your waist.
"Because they're scared of you somehow?" He laughs again, hand now encompassing your side, staring down at you. He looks so inhumanly attractive. You're confused where this intensity comes from. If it's simple lust, coming from a genuine natural place, the same as yours. Or if the potion is not still messing with him, and his hormones, possibly. It shouldn't. It's been a good ten minutes and his build wouldn't entail this long of a repercussion.
"They're not scared. They just know who's the alpha." He explains with the cockiest shit-eating grin you've ever seen. Even greasy Gilderoy Lockhart doesn't have those. You'd find him gross if he was a hundred per cent committing to the act. There's a lurch though, in the way chocolate marbles shine in childish amusement, the tendentious beam turning into a boyish one, biting back something you know would sound like a giggle if he let it escape. You chuckle yourself, hitting him on the chest -because now that he's healed, he can take it. He doesn't budge an inch, doesn't back the slightest away from you. If anything, the hand holding you slide a bit further behind your back, keeping you close. "I'm just kidding." He whispers, voice as soothing as his attentive gaze as turned. So attentive you feel your face burn with shame. As a poor attempt to deflect your focus on this, your hand raises to his chest again, fingers scrapping at a tiny default in his shirt.
"You're not." He snickers. "I still don't understand how you're not scared of them..." The question somehow was never brought up. The whole night, the day before, your friends and you spend your time praising him and asking so many questions about his life and dragons in general, the things he's seen, the things he's done, the reasons that push him to take this orientation -something about adventure and wanting to see where the world ends was the answer however you could tell it wasn't entirely the real one- but you never actually asked how come he's not terrified of these deadly creatures.
"Honestly, your students are way scarier to me than they are." Your eyes grow big with surprise as you simper. You naturally lean a bit back as you laugh, and he follows you, for some reasons, eyes fixed on you, a tiny smile shaping his mouth. "That one girl the other day, the way she looked at you."
"Yeah, they can be real brats sometimes."
"My dragons, on the other hand, are super playful and soft." He sounds like a little boy, trying to brag about his alleged better pet. Of course, he'd be lethally sexy a second and undeniably adorable the next.
"You're a bit weird, Jeon." Jungkook shrugs, not sure what to say to that because he knows you're right. He can also hear in your voice that you don't mind and he's not sure how to say that he's glad you don't. Because he doesn't say anything you force yourself to look up, study his handsome face to read him. His expression is precisely what you expect yours to look like. Content yet expecting for something more, enamoured.
It's just hard to take the first step. Impossible to overcome.
Only now, from so close he can probably feel your breath hitting his neck, you notice he has a thin beard decorating his jaw. There's a patch missing on the left. You press the tip of your index to the tender skin, noting he's probably got burnt.
"That's what happens when a baby with a cold refuses to leave your shoulder." "It sneezed on you?" He nods, grinning. "I could make something for that. And for your eyebrow too." You stare, your finger caressing the soft skin, cheating a bit and slipping to the side of his jaw where there's nothing except a barely unshaven skin. Jungkook sucks in a breath.
"Would you?"
"If you want me too. You'd be losing charm points for sure but-"
"Oh, I have those?"
For some reasons, it’s this moment your memory chooses to recycle your friend’s words. The ones about him being that great. With the pretty gold glimmer coming from his peculiar round eyes, you do not doubt that he is. “As if.” You roll your eyes, jaded by his certain lie.
And the ones about him possibly being a lot, being too much to handle follow quickly behind. He is a whole lot, from head to toes, to the very essence of his character. The thing is he’s dipped in a thick pool of sweet honey, rounding his edges into something so much more accessible, too easy to swallow, how could you not try. “Let’s not fix it then,” He starts, one of his hand roughly rubbing at his short beard. “you already have too many ahead of me.” You give him a doubtful “oh really?” look he greets with an amused grin. He’s pretty smooth for a guy that hardly ever interacts with women and humans in general. You almost ask if his pets give him dating advice but you decide to keep it for later. The cat and mouse game is getting hard to endure. You’re not bored of it but you know you’re both ready for it to turn a little less playful and a little more decisive -also you don’t know exactly what time it is, however, you do know you have a class in the morning. It (whatever it is) won’t happen with you bullying him restlessly. Maybe one of you will get tired of watching so closely the other's face, you both know the details by heart by now, are probably even able to draw them with your eyes closed, and act. There’s a subtle frown messing up his handsome face. A tiny dip of the starting lines of his eyebrows and a pout reshaping his lips. “I’m really sorry about that.” He mutters, shame dripping from his words. The pad of his thumb raises to your neck, grazing ever so lightly the skin surrounding the tiny cut Tina gave you earlier. It’s not that bad. Doesn’t even hurt anymore. When your heart is beating so fast, when your cheeks are burning so high, when your core is quivering so much, you barely remember about the cut on your neck ever hurting. He seems so sorry though. And then he’s leaning towards you, dubious eyes not leaving yours until he’s hidden in the crook of your neck and can’t see you anymore, and softly, presses his lips to the bruise. It feels like a seizure in your heart. It shouldn’t be much but it is, the softest touch, most delicate, also a beautiful promise for more to come.
You relax under him, his arm naturally sliding further behind you, pulling you flush against him. You tend your neck, expecting more, demanding more. He instead breathes in, nose buried in your hair, humming to himself as if the scent pleases him before he’s kissing your neck again, this time a more resolute kiss, with a tough pressure, a louder smack.
You can’t help but giggle, he sniffed you like an animal would, like a dragon would. The giggle turns into an embarrassing fit of laughter, the tension wearing you out probably helping a lot.
“What’s so funny?” Jungkook asks, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with curiosity and a smile translating his bemusement. He backs away for a second, just to see your face.
“Sorry-“ More giggles, he pinches your side, you barely manage to bite your laughter back in your throat. “Sorry but you’re really- I just didn’t realise to what extent you’ve been raised by dragons.”
He’s confused you can tell, frowning in deep thought yet not looking the least vexed. It makes you smile. Seeing him looking so adorable, a little lost, a little embarrassed. You kiss the palm of his hand, the one that’s sitting where it fits perfectly, tucked in the crook of your neck, his eyes grow big for a split second. “Cause I smelled you? Was it weird? I’m sorry, I’m just used to- like- smells are imp-“
He made it so easy for you to press your lips to his. Everything about him, from his smell to his warmth, to his smiles both from his pretty flushed lips and from the wonders he owns for eyes, his voice soothing, welcoming, words always gentle, always soft. He’s both the unknown and at the same time, the most comfortable aura you’ve ever wanted to dip in.
It’s hesitant at first, or more precisely sheepish, like testing the waters. Figuring out where you’re stepping in, noticing you’re barely keeping your nose up and afloat. It’s scary, new and exciting. Requires a little bit of practice, some intended nibbles, some timid lingering.
You’re both unsure, trying until you’re not anymore. Like a button blooming into a rose, suddenly turned bright bloody red, intense and passionate, with fierce thorns digging and scratching at the skin.
You sigh into him, he’s humming as in agreement. There’s a little agitation coming from outside. As if they know what you two are doing, how you’re feeling. As if impatient Tina can tell you’re stealing her human right under her snoot.
He is so willing to get stolen though. Chasing after your mouth when you worry for a second about the ruckus going on just behind the wall, arm tightening around you, hugging you as close as he can, his body melting with yours whenever your fingers dig in his skin.
You’re the first one to slip your fingers underclothes to just have a little sample of naked skin. It’s just past the hem of his sweatshirt, the soft and burning skin of his waist. It spurs him on. As if he was just waiting for you to give him permission, his hands find a home under your shirt. Flat on your skin, so large, so hearty, raw skin from someone who’s worked with those hands a lot, feeling so nice on you, feel like he’s holding you captive in between the palms.
The hand against your back slides up, stopping an instant where your bra is sealed, toying with it as if he’s wondering if he can. Deeming that he can’t, for some unknown reason, he goes further to grip the back of your neck. You’re too busy with his tongue teasing yours, with the growing stiffness digging in your stomach to notice. Have your brain been less occupied, you would probably have the fingers playing with the ends of his hair, pulling a little harsher than they already are. He’s loving it, it seems. Moaning each time you do, groaning each time your nails slip through the hair to scrap at his skin.
Everything is too good. Everything feels made to be, bodies made to meet and make up. It feels like this could be enough. Highly satisfying, more delicious than any make-out session has ever felt because none of those boys before were Jeon Jungkook and never have you liked someone as much as you like him.
But Jeon Jungkook can’t be perfect. You don’t know if he means to be to tease or if it’s just him holding onto some doubts, some insecurities, not wanting to go too far without you explicitly telling him that it’s what you want -because, clearly, it’s not evident enough, the way you’re hanging off of his mouth, limp in his arms, subjectively grinding against his cock can’t be telling enough.
His second hand, the one closest to all the places you want him to invade, won’t give in. Set on your stomach, his thumb retracing the underline of your bra, this hand is the very incarnation of a tormentor. You don’t last long, grousing in your mind, losing your shit and your patience, giving him chances after chances to finally get to it but of course he never does.
Your frustration reaches its limits when you back away from him, hitting his chest with your fist, breathless and frowning.
He’s too dazed, hooded eyes barely seeing anything but your swollen mouth, to comprehend. Until you bark his name, punching him again.
Jungkook takes in your mad eyes, scrunched eyebrows and impatient tapping of your foot on the cabin's floor.
“Touch me.” You whine more than you demand. His light chuckles fill the suffocating air, diffusing a little bit of the tension and maybe it’s not for the worst.
“Is that all?” He asks, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your pouty mouth. “You scared me.”
“I don’t care.” He is so gentle on your lips. The sweetest touch you’ve ever received there. Your heart is growing exponentially, threatens to burst in your chest and you’re loving every single second of it.
“You’re a bit mean when you’re frustrated, you know that?” He can hardly contain his amused grin long enough to kiss you. Explicitly telling you, he doesn’t care much for your moody outbursts. “And,” Another kiss right in the centre of your awaiting lips. “I was touching you.”
“Not enough.”
“What’s enough, lil’ brat?” He mumbles against the skin of your neck, biting a little at it, definitely grinning to himself there. You almost cum there.
“Touch me here.”
You can sense his cockiness drops to the ground when you grab his hands and press them to your clothed breasts. He just gapes, too shocked to act, as if it’s the first pair he’s coming in contact with. You have to do everything on his behalf and really, thankfully for him, you like him that much you don’t hold it against him. Tearing the cups of your bra down and under your breasts, guiding his long fingers to your tender mounds, he takes in a shaky breath, his curious eyes borne into yours.
Tentatively, he wraps his hands around them, weighing them, the pad of his thumb caressing the skin, enjoying taking extra time on the nipple.  You can tell he wants it, he’s too willing to touch you, yet his mouth, the stupid thing, starts to stutter, “B-but, I don’t think righ-“
“Please.” And if this isn’t enough, you’re giving up. You’ve tried so hard. Asking, moving his hands for him, pleading with your boobs out and your shirt bunched up over them. If this isn’t enough, you’re giving up and probably kicking him in the dick in your way out.
His puppy eyes fall from your eyes down to your breast, almost reluctantly. He leaves out a tiny whimper of pain. As if he’s the one hurting. As if it’s not you, the one suffering, the one tortured, because he’s been messing with you, shaking your insides upside down, baiting and lightening up sparkles but refusing to feed you accordingly the way you need to. As if he’s not the only one inflicting himself the torment, refusing to give in for reasons you don’t understand.
Until something clicks in his brain, finally, common sense meeting desires, his mouth fall from your neck and straight to your nipple, kissing hungrily. Licking and sucking and nibbling, moaning almost as much as you do. Once both your nipples are swollen and a pretty flush, he senses your sensitivity, deciding to drop from the buds, meaning to cover the whole supple surface of your tits with lovely kisses and infuriating grazing of the teeth.
The position is awkward. Him bent in half, you on your tiptoes, trying to ease the access for him while simultaneously ordering your wobbly legs to keep on supporting you. The task is not easy, so poorly executed he gets tired of it in seconds, big hands seizing you to pick you up, holding you close, your legs wrap around his waist, so comfortable, so natural, somehow more convenient for him, he doesn’t seem to be in the least amount of effort as he feasts gladly on your chest. His hands stay on your ass, fingers digging, occasionally dragging you up and down his front where you can feel him hot and hard against your centre, a few times squeezing and tearing your cheeks apart. If this is not what paradise tastes like, then you don’t know what is.
It’s perfect pleasure, pure satisfaction.
But of course, you’re human.
Soon, it’s not enough, anymore. And more and more you want and you need. You can feel your cunt clench around nothing, drops of honey dripping from the side hems of your panties crotch. He’s so good to you, lavishing and ravishing your breast like it’s the only job he’s ever wanted but you want more. Maybe you’ll let him worship you another day. Place the kisses and paint the marks he wants on every inch of your body.
Right now you need release. Any kind. He’s pent you up to a point, you can’t handle the idea of not letting any steam out.
You’re about to get bitchy again. Getting saltier and saltier at every empty-handed clench of your cunt. If you don’t take a step now, make him take the step, you’ll turn into a sex-deprived gremlin again, this time worse than earlier, and it’s not a good look you wish for him to see -again.
“Jungkook?” You can sense him perk up at the call of your name, even though he doesn’t stop his ministrations. He hums against your nipple, held tight in between his wet lips. “Fuck, Guk- just- uh- your bed.” No reaction. You suspect he didn’t even listen. “Take me to your bed, Jungkook!” It’s the harsh pull on his hair that’s made him look up and pay attention to your words. Like an obedient puppy with unmatching dark eyes, he nods, swirling around to head for his bed, carrying you effortlessly like you're not a full-grown adult hanging from his neck.
You’re about to meet his sheets. You’re about to get ravished and treated so, so right. You can tell from all the promises his hooded gaze has no shame sharing. Anticipation is killing you. The tenderness and affection along with the evident intense lust you read in him are killing you. Your back is just about to meet his sheets when it just doesn’t. He’s holding you centimètres away from it, eyebrows frowned, preoccupation taking over his face and covering everything sexy that fitted it so prettily.
“I can’t have you on this bed.”
“Wha- why?!” Maybe you yelled a bit. He winces. You don’t know what you look like right now, lust turned into pure fury, you just hope if you feel and talk like a gremlin, you still don’t look like one.
“Have you seen it? It’s not even a bed, it’s just a pile of dirty rags probably a thousand years old-“ It’s sweet and annoying, infuriating beyond belief. He’s blushing too. One foot hitting with spite the pile of rags he was given to use as a bed.
You want to cry.
“Why are you so fucking difficult, Jungkook?” You spit his name with venom, forehead hitting his shoulder, defeated as you feel. He’s hugging you closer, hands less sexual and just warm tenderness as they slide along your spine, pressing you closer if it’s even possible. Feels nice. But your panties, the soaked ruined cloth that is uncomfortably sticking to your cunt are reminding you you’re hating this moment.
“I don’t mean to. I- you deserve better than-“
“But you sleep on it!”
“I can sleep anywhere, it doesn’t matter but you’re too pretty to be laying on this.” You huff at that. Too frustrated to just take the compliment and let it shake your belly with the butterflies in it like a kid would a Christmas snow globe. “I’m sorry.”
“Should apologise to yourself, why you’re sleeping in it if it’s shit? Don’t you deserve better?”
He can tell how you feel. You’re kind enough to let everything clear as day, written in a language he mastered in so little time, an intimate one he’s only allowed to see. He sees the disappointment. Also the ease you’re feeling. The lust that’s not left. The despair and frustration tinted by dark shades of anger. You look cute as hell. All pouty and mushy in his arms. Whining and complaining and so angry yet fingers gently caressing the nape of his neck. He can tell you’re bitchy, feel like arguing but probably want something else even more.
“Wouldn’t it be better to use your bed instead? I saw it yesterday, looks nice.” He suggests, kissing your jaw to relax you.
“It is, it’s a troll size.” You lean your head back, giving more space for his mouth, mumbled words hardly falling from your pout.
“I saw that.” He says, amusement teasing the corner of his eyes.
“Professor Jeon!” The amusement completely annihilates from his eyes, his pretty rosy lips falling in a shocked o, along with all colours leaving his face. You gasp silently, wide eyes matching his.
There’s a terrifying succession of thuds shaking the little cabin, the call of his name again. Slowly, he releases you from his arms, making sure you meet the ground without emitting the least noise.
“I told you I had a class-“ he mimes with his mouth rather than speak.
“You never told me that?”
“I mean- I tried to but you wouldn’t- you wouldn’t list-“
“Professor Jeon?” More knocking on the door. You both hear the man outside mumbling to himself, a little commotion and you can tell, he’s trying to find a way to reach the window to have a look through it. Jungkook jumps on it, tearing the curtain in front of the blurry glass.
“Yes- uhm-“
“Are you okay? The class is ready for today’s demonstration! We’re all excited about that Opaleye you’ve talked ab-“
“Hagrid, I- I need to- finish get ready so- if you and the class could wait- f-five seconds?”
You are fuming. Glaring at him with the meanest eyes you own. Smoke probably coming out of every orifice, desperately trying to leave out some steam or else you’ll be spitting fire better than his fucking pets do. Tucking your boobs back in your bra, tearing your teeshirt back down, probably looking as miserable as you feel.
He’s apologetic though. One hand holding yours between gentle fingers, massaging kindly the palm of your hand. Looking guilty as hell, pouty with the watery eyes, a sweetheart.
And you like him. The realisation hits you once again, full force, you like him a whole lot. Frustration fading into compliance, leaving you helpless, about to forgive him wholeheartedly and suggest to come back later when his schedule sees it more fitting.
“Alrighty! I’ll show them that cute baby dragon I see over there-“
Jungkook winces visibly. Even you can tell it’s not a good idea to leave Hagrid alone with kids and dragons unsupervised, his reputation precedes him, unfortunately. He doesn’t hint a gesture towards the door though. Observing you with attentive eyes, the same from earlier, as if he’s trying to memorise your traits with utter accuracy, knowing he won’t be seeing it for at least the whole day ahead. You should suggest he takes a picture, it’ll last longer. But you’re overwhelmed with a vague wave of sadness, suddenly, so close to the parting from him and so unready for it.
You don’t know if he sees it, senses it, if when he kisses you hard on the mouth it’s to make himself feel better or if it’s just for you. It works in any case. Your heart filled up as it’d been, with lust and affection and something that can’t be but is so akin to love.
“I wish you didn’t have a class-“
“Do you want me?” He asks in a breathless whisper. The question is ridiculous, the answer being so fucking evident, you’d hit him to the side of the head if you didn’t like so much how intimate, how sexy he sounds murmuring against your lips.
You nod. Realising as you try and fail that he’s stolen all air from you -and probably a few other things like your heart and sanity along the way.
“Can you be quiet?” His hands have already dropped from your face, attached to the hem of your pants, hurried fingers proceeding to open them up. The situation in its entirety with the environment, with the people outside at most a dozens of meters away, the awkwardness, the everything can’t hit you, can’t take a sensible shape. No information able to be treated because of him, his everything, the whole lot that he is, infuriating, dizzying, shattering, moving. All you know is that you can be quiet, you can be whatever he wants you to be right this instant.
“I’m sorry for being so terrible at all that-“ He starts, sincere but light, amused, comfortable with you -and that’s the nicest look you’ve seen on him. “I’ll make it up to you until later when I- can really make it up to you.”
It’s funny to see the two facades of his personality clash like that. He’s apologising, red in the cheeks, but also a mouth, reshaped by a confident fatal crooked smirk, stating promises as facts.
How does he know he’ll make it up to you? How does he know he’ll make you feel good enough you’ll forgive his clumsiness?
“I’ll need more than five seconds, Jeon.” That makes him chuckle silently, shaking his head and squinting in defiance.
“You’ll need hardly more than that.” He says, dragging your pants and your panties at once, down a few centimetres.
Heat burns your face as air hits your centre. It feels shockingly exposing even if he can't see much from up there, with your shirt down, with little to no light coming from the curtained window and his large hand, that doesn’t wait for a second, slipping in between your thighs, covering your mound instantly as his mouth covers yours.
He’s right. This fucker.
You don’t time but you know he makes you come incredibly fast.
First starting by sliding a lone finger in your heat to quickly realise that you are soaking wet, sloppy to be exact, perfectly able to fit at least two and probably a third one easily. And he obliges so, filling the torturous void, fucking you with them slowly, dragging the pad of his rough fingers along your walls, teasing your sensitive entrance with lovely, lovely strokes. The sound -and he has to slow down to keep it quiet enough- is obscene. You don’t remember the last time you’ve been so fucking turned on. Dripping down your legs and unto his hand.
He spends only a few minutes on that, on fucking you nice and open when you both know he won’t even be able to fill you as you both wish he would until, well, some undefined time. It should be revolting, that thought, sort of a quick, immediate satisfaction for a long term painful wait.
But then his fingers leave your hole to migrate to your clit, as engorged as ever, as it’s not been for a long, long time, all of this for this stupid crush, from this stupid man, from his kisses and his scent, and his purposefully neglecting to give it attention. A few strokes only, fast and hard, messy and desperate with a sweet pet name he’s never used but fits so nice from his lips press to your ear and you’re coming, hole kissing emptiness, it sucks but you're invaded with so much content, legs shaking, heart beating fast, remnants of the orgasm reshaping the whole stance of your body, feels like you've just moved in an entirely new one, and head dizzy, feeling in love.
“Told you.” He’s chuckling to himself. Full of himself as he wipes you clean with a teeshirt he just picked up from an open travelling bag.
“Shut up, Jungkook.” You groan. One hand holding onto his bicep while his owns diligently tie back your pants, fixing you like nothing happened. The orgasm has been so good, it devoided you of all strength and energy you may have had.
You need to leave. Or more precisely, he needs to leave and meet the class, take them away probably in the forest so that you can escape and flee back to the castle. It’s inevitable.
You close your eyes for a second. Trying to empty your head, focus on breathing properly again, hiding how upset you feel. It’s not that dramatic. Surely, you’ll catch him again, today probably, later, tonight, but you feel so upset. Like a little girl. You don’t want to leave him yet.
Jungkook calls your name softly. You open your eyes, biting on your lip to contain all the emotions wanting to spill out right under his nose.
“Do you like me?” This time you have to throw a punch to his side -it hurts your knuckles more than it does him- because how dare he ask and look so unsure of the answer. “Well, I don’t know- I don’t- you never know with women and- and like- I- you never said-“
“I’ve liked you for two years, Jeon Jungkook.”
“Two...?”
You see the gears rolling, slowly, unsettled by big knots of confusion. You’re sweet, you’re generous and you just came in his hand, literally, so you have no issue admitting -with only a slight blush on the apple of your cheeks, “When you first came for the Triwizard Tournament.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t-“ Again with the apologies. With the looking so pitiful, with the guilt, with the him being so lovely of a man, especially when he’s so big and covered in all those warlike scars.
“Well you had this in your eyes anyway, would have been hard to notice me.” You joke, stealing one of the locks hiding behind his ear and tickling his eyelids with it. He scoffs, smiling before he slips it back where it was.
“Thanks to Taehyung, I have a hair tie now. So that I can see you better.” He’s beaming, staring at you fondly, it’s insufferable and you look away, embarrassed as ever because those big eyes being just yours, admiring you -for what too?- are hard to handle. You need practice.
“Is it your dragons teaching you all this cheesy garbage-“ He cackles at that, not even letting you finish and you’re loving the idea that it’s you causing that. “You need better wingpets.” He laughs even harder, you’re grinning even harder until a screech, ear-splitting, resonates through the whole surrounding forest. For a second you wonder if it’s not just Tina throwing a fit because she heard how her master is having so much fun with someone else than her but there’s a commotion following and what sounds like a seventeen-year-old Slytherin boy losing his shit, yelling and crying, and alarm takes over Jungkook's face.
“Can I see you tonight?” He asks in a hurry and you nod. “I’ll meet you in your room after I trained-“ A big smooch to your lips. “Actually maybe before, I don’t know, I-“
“Just go, Jungkook.” His eyes say something his mouth can’t, you can read the trepidation, as he sprints to the door, gaze not leaving you.
You can’t be sure a hundred per cent but you’re almost certain he just told you that he really likes you too and suddenly, you don’t feel as upset as you did, knowing you will find him back later.
Tumblr media
« Thanks for earlier. »
For a second, you don’t know what he’s referring to. Until he points a finger towards his crotch, a little flush showing on his cheeks, where his hair doesn’t reach. 
That makes you laugh. You shrug your shoulders, waving his thank away because of course, you wouldn’t let him run in the middle of a class full of teenagers with a rock hard cock showing through his pants. 
Too focused on the possible catastrophe happening in his front yard, he didn’t seem to realise, if any discomfort or pain ever existed he couldn’t acknowledge it but you surely did. 
After having it pressed to your crotch, having felt its hardness and its heat, there’s no way you’d be able to just stop thinking about it. Then in the cabin, with your tingling cunt and sticky panties, and the whole day ahead, no matter how far away from him you were, physically and supposedly mentally, it’s just all you could think about. 
Blushing incessantly at the least stimulating moments. Gagging back giggles whenever a word, a touch, a smile of his recalled itself to you, and this in front of confused and suspicious eyes.
The whole day was a pain. It simply wouldn’t roll fast enough. 
Now here you are, standing in front of him, not recognising him fully. He’s hiding behind his hair again. He’s quiet and awkward like he too forgot how to talk to you. 
Maybe that’s what you get for meddling with him so quickly. Suppose you get separated for a short dozen of hours, he becomes a stranger again. 
It’s an awful feeling. Seems like maybe you made it all up. The comfort, the noncommittal love and adoration, the ease, the lust, the warmth. Maybe all of it was just a hazy dream. Made up yesterday evening by alcohol and this early morning by fatigue. 
Here you are sober and empty of any other commitment and you can’t picture how you could have gotten to that special place and how to find it back if it ever existed.
“You’ve let your hair down.” You simply say. Maybe it’s your way to point out aloud how you feel like you’ve been thrown a thousand steps back. He’s hiding behind his hair, being unreachable again. 
“Yeah, I just- they were all staring so I felt awkward-“ You mean to interrupt, let him know because you’re sure that he doesn’t (the boy from the bar yesterday didn’t know) that if they were staring it’s because he is that beautiful and certainly no one has expected that. “I wanted to tie it back for now but I lost the little thingy.” You take a step forward, closing some of the distance between him standing against the wall and you in the middle of your room. The more you hear his soft voice, the more you recognise him. “I hope Taehyung won’t be mad, I can buy a new one for him.” You could probably point out that Jungkook probably did not lose anything. That probably Taehyung used a charm and like any of those, the object you didn’t pay for, that materialised itself from thin air, simply disappeared after some time. Maybe you’ll tell him later. Right now you’re close to him again, so close you can catch a glimpse of an eye under the pretty locks. Your ears recognise him, your nose too, and you’re impatient to see if your fingers would too. 
You reach up, catching his fringe in between your fingertips and dragging them behind his ears, opening the silky curtain and smiling to yourself, eyes almost blurry with emotion, when you see his handsome face now on display. With the pretty brown eyes, the rosy lips, the cut eyebrow and that scar on his cheek, just above his timid dimple that shows up only when it wants. 
“Hi.” 
“Hello.” He squeaks out, flushing. “I must look ridiculous-“ He gestures you his hair your holding hostage behind his ears, taking advantage to caress his soft skin with the pad of your thumbs. 
“You look cute.” He does. He looks a bit awkward, like a boy who just finds himself with too much hair and tries to do something about it. “Very cute.” You add, beaming when you see his embarrassment grow. 
“Liar.”
He catches one of your wrists in his hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss the thin skin of the inner part. Lips soft, eyes soft, voice tender. “I thought about you a lot today...” Somehow he found you back too. He feels comfortable saying this while you’re sure he’s not used to it. Therefore even if you hate it, you can’t help but admit it. That you too, obviously, could only think about him the whole day. “I’m not here to stay forever, ___.” 
Your airy smile flatters until it disappears completely. 
Way to ruin the mood. 
He senses it. Press the hand leaving his face back against his cheek, pressing the second one to his mouth again as if he could bring you back to him and forget all about what he just implied. 
Obviously. 
Obviously, his life is not here, in Hogwarts. He’s not a professor, he doesn’t want to become one, he’s here for a project that has a defined limited time - Mrs Umbridge made sure of it. He’s an adventurer anyway. He only knows forest and lands and mountains and mythical creatures, extreme weathers and dangerous places. 
Obviously, you two only properly met a few days ago, only started to get to know each other less than 24 hours ago, it’s too soon to be in love, too soon to be so attached that a separation would feel that devastating. But even if you’re not, you feel in love. You feel wonderful in his arms, under his gaze, with his pretty smiles lighting on you and his sweet voice rocking your heart. 
It’s so upsetting to think about. You don’t want to. Just him hardly bringing it up makes you so upset you could cry. 
“But I- I know that you know that already. Maybe it’s clear for you that- we can’t-“ The more he talks the less sense he makes. Every syllabus seems dragged out of his mouth. He struggles so bad, your hand distractingly playing with the neck of his shirt, only because his hand wouldn’t let it go, you can feel his beating heart through the thick vein of his neck. “What I mean to say is- I don’t know what this- could mean to you. If it means anything or it’s just- like- fun,” Your eyebrow ticks at that. How dare he? “either way I don’t mind-“ He’s quick to add. “Really! Whatever you want is fine. I just mean to say that we can’t- I mean- at some point, I’ll be very very far away so-“
“Does it matter now, Jungkook?” 
The whole dilemma is not that hard to solve, on your part anyway. There’s nothing you can do about his future departing, is it? All that’s under your control is either you decide to indulge in him, have him the way you crave to, feed in this lovely thing that’s started blooming yesterday evening between you two and later on, deal with the heartbreak you’ll surely have once he leaves. Or will you deny yourself this, still get the heartbreak but way earlier on and have to nurture it for probably less long but in this peculiar case, through a thick coat of regrets. 
You hate to think about it all. You hate to think about a time when he’s not going to be around, not even only appearing at the end of a hallway, not even noticing you, not doing anything special except existing and breathing the same air as yours. 
It’s clear for you. He’s right here, right now, literally right under your hands, there’s no doubt in your mind that you’re going to consume as much as him as you possibly can, if only he’ll let you. 
He looks worried, concerned. Not on the same page as you maybe. Guilty too. While it’s not his fault. It’s your own stupid, unpractical dumbass’s fault for falling for the only guy that lives like a fucking wild animal and is probably inept to leave his wild savage life for more than a couple of months at a time. 
An attempt nibble to his bottom lip. Your eyes shut close slowly as to not squeeze a droplet menacing to fall from your eye. He sighs deeply, leaning into your mouth for a moment. 
“I guess it doesn’t have to matter now.” He decides, pressing a new kiss to the relieved smile growing on you. 
"Cause you had a few things to show me, I believe..." It's subtle. Sort of. The words may be but the eyes you give him are not, demanding, minxy. Your intentions are no secret to him and you can tell in the way he smirks, kissing you again, this time his warm palms holding your cheeks still. He's made up his mind too.
It's all you needed to wash it all behind. Everything that could be too heavy for your shoulders or your heart to carry right now. Anything that could affect this moment, tarnish it, make it lesser than it could be.
It just has to be good. Only good and nothing else. His hands everywhere, on your ass, squeezing, on your breast, fondling. He seems to have remembered what you like. He's not withholding, he's not overly gentle. He's still awfully tender, awfully sweet because it's just the essence of his person, you feel it in every breath you steal from him. The way he carries you so softly, sitting you down on his lap as careful as ever as to not have you tip over and fall off of the bed.
When you're so greedy and almost rude in comparison, lavishing in the position he just offered you, groaning when you feel his thick thighs stretching yours wide, grinding already, sliding forward to feel his hardness anew against you. You touch him everywhere because his body feels surreal. Hard and taut and skin boiling even through his clothes. Your hands disorganized, impatient, start by unbuckling his belt to then jump to the hem of his shirt, dragging the cloth up and off of him.
You hardly catch a glimpse of fair honey skin before the light is shut off suddenly. There's the very recognizable thud of a wand hitting the wooden floor that hints at you that he's the one who did turn it off and you want to whine and complain and maybe even argue a little, and maybe more, enough for him to turn it back on but his wet mouth is sucking at your collarbone, the indignant scold dies into an insignificant, trembling whimper.
He lets you undress him. Even if you're missing the visual, you decide you'll enjoy the touch. His skin is so soft, too soft in a few spots where you guess he's been hurt, uneven, little bumpy traits, here and there, like the trace of a road on a map, scattered all over his chest, his shoulders, his arms. He feels wonderful under your fingers. Hot and soft. He smells heavenly, encaging you as he does, you're bathing in his scent, earthy, smoky, masculine.
You have the push him away, a hand on his jaw, another on his chest to have him quit mouthing at your skin and lay his back down on the mattress. In the very dim light, you catch his shiny eyes, wide and intense as they observe you in the dark. You lean over, pressing kisses you hope as loving as his on his skin, starting from his cheek, you feel moving under your lips from him smiling, descending to his hard belly without missing a spot.
Your mouth turns extra delicate when your lips meet uneven skin, as if you could hurt him, as if he hasn't been long healed and your lips aren't the last thing that could ever hurt him, it makes him gasps and sighs though, each time, you feel his abs tighten under you, his thighs stiffen.
"Am I hurting you?" You ask quietly, even if you doubt it.
"Yeah-" He sighs and you freeze. "I mean no! No, no, don't worry."
"Are you sure?" You insist and he groans in defeat. You might be palming his cock through his pants, which you should be patient enough to wait until he answers properly if you'd honestly like an answer. But the rock hard member has been poking your thigh for too long and you can't help it. He's so responsive too, concealing poorly his groans and his moans, his whole body and cock twitchy under you.
You're close to giving him more. To give him fully what he came for. Nails grazing with intent the line where the hem of his underwears lay but not moving down further, hinting at something more but not giving in yet.
It's exhilarating to have him so docile under you, waiting, hardly patiently, for you to give him what he wants and you can tell, from how hard he is, that he really does want it. He sucks his breath in one more time, loudly, and you snickers above him, excited as you are.
Until he decides it's enough. Raising one thigh fast and hard, pushing at your ass, making you tip over with a squeal. He catches you with the cheeky chuckle you've grown to adore, rolling you unto your back so he can hover over you. You feel so tiny under him, with his strong thick arms encasing you, the line of his wide shoulders barely decipherable in the dark. Your hand follows the line, appreciating him to be so willing to be touched, always leaning onto your fingers. When it stops at his chest, your fingers mean to play a little but you're stopped in your track by the thudding hitting your palm. It takes you a hot second to realise it's his heart, being so loud and agitated, so expressive from where it's hidden. Of course, someone as reserved as him would have a heart that vocal.
"Your heart's beating so hard." You comment quietly. You don't mean to embarrass him. You don't even mean to reverse the power button hanging between the both of you. Yours in your own chest has to be causing a similar ruckus. But it's his that matters right now. You can't get over the fact that it's for you.
"Stop teasing me." He grumbles. He's not even vexed. He's embarrassed, but you hear the slim smile in his voice, a sheepish one.
"I'm not. You should feel mine." He hums against your mouth, then backs away laughing a bit.
"Smooth."
"It wasn't-" You sigh in defeat. It was not a subtle attempt to have him take care of your tits. Seriously. He's too glad to comply though, you're not one to complain.
You only have a vague notion of time passing, of things progressing. Somehow a second he's suckling on your nipples through the thin material of your top and the next, both of you are naked, panting in each other's face. Your nipples erect and still wet, occasionally rubbing against his chest, two of his thick fingers pumping in between your folds, a third one occasionally teasing the entrance, hinting at a stretch you're so greedy to feel even though you're not sure you can take; your hands wrapped around his shaft, pumping furiously, squeezing hard to have him hiss and curse against your lips, with your thumb teasing the slit of the tender slick head.
His free hand is at your neck, resting there, fingertips pressing in your skin, his thumb toying with your swollen bottom lip whenever he's biting too hard on his own to kiss you properly.
"I'm close..." You whimper, nibbling on the flesh of his thumb. He smiles vaguely at you, hooded eyes unfocused, eyebrows scrunched from pleasure. "I want you, Jungkook."
"Like now?" Fuck. You really have to like the guy a lot. He dares stop fucking you too, all attention now driven to your face. You don't say anything, your eyes telling enough. He nods to himself. "Okay, now. But uh-"
"Jungkook, sometimes you're half-useless." You try not to be mean but you can't help some snarkiness to escape. You have patience. You have a lot of it. But he just makes everything so difficult. How can you be sin and temptation embodied and at the same time, be so fucking clueless? He's like the cure but also the disease.
You roll over on your bed, grabbing a condom from your bedside table that a certain friend I don't need to name provided you with, to then face him again, brandishing the foil packet in his face.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to-" He seems confused for a second, struggling to get the thing open and you wonder if it's been as long as it's been for you since the last time he's been with someone like that, or if it's been even longer. "but-" Growing even more impatient, you jump on your knees, kneeling next to him, taking the thing from him and tearing it open for him. "You're, like, a lot."
You stay silent for probably too long, frozen, hit by his words probably too intensely.
"In a good way! In a- in a, you're- I like you a lot and it makes me all-" He's talking too much you decide. Stuttering the sweetest things you have a hard time hearing while you're both naked in your bed, so near to get even closer, even more intimate to each other in a way you're too excited about to handle any extra pandering -especially given, you know exactly what he meant. Who would have thought? Jeon Jungkook talking so much you'd have to kiss him quiet.
"How do you like it?" He asks in a whisper, kissing your jaw in a way that makes you shudder. He's making you lightheaded, so dizzy, with the stupid jumps between his sexy lust-filled self and the adorable clueless dude he can also be.
"Just- however you'll have me." You answer, ignoring blatantly that it doesn't mean much.
So he decides. Laying you down on your back, hovering you. The thought that maybe you are made for each other hits you full face then, because that's exactly how you'd like him to have you. Just like earlier, so close, so intimate, sort of intimidating, dominating too. All yours and you, even more, his, with his soft locks caressing your forehead, lips so close you hardly have to make any effort to reach, not that he lets you have your mouth for your own for too long anyway, every few seconds, claiming it with lingering kisses tasting of greed. You know you're in trouble as soon as the very tip of his cock squeezes in. It's somehow a tight fit, even with his earlier ministrations, even with the ones from this morning that made you feel loose all fucking day. Jungkook only fucks you with the head of his shaft for a while, feeling you so tight around him, savouring the sensation but also worried he'd hurt you if he were to go further.
You're on edge. On edge of a devastating orgasm, already too fucking close, and even if you could blame it on the foreplay, on your hormones or whatever else, he'd know. He'd know it's because of him, because of how much you like him, of how good he makes you feel, how much he turns you on.
You don't really care. He's already panting in your ear, groaning and moaning with tight jaws about how good you feel and how pretty you are, when he's only half of the way inside and that's more than enough. It's kind of too much. Kind of impossible to handle.
It's a mewl to the shell of his ear and the digging of your nails in his firm ass that push him further and balls deep inside you. It feels like discovering new places within yourself, places you haven't reach before alone or with someone else, brings a rush of excitement to your whole body that translates in a vice tight clench around him.
He fucks you so good, it feels so nice, his cock was made for you. His rhythm steady, rather slow but powerful, sending you a tiny bit higher on the bed at each thrust, with one arm slid behind your back, his hand wrapped around the back of your neck to hold you still enough. It's little to no effect but it drives you crazy, having him own you like that. From all those places, his dick, his thigh pressing yours higher, his hands, his mouth, his words. Bewitching, he is. Everything feels and sounds and touches him, the air you breath tastes like him.
You wish it'd last forever but it can't. Like everything that tastes that wondrous.
"Jungkook, I think- uh- gonna come." You lie because you don't think, you know you're about to come even if it's been a couple of minutes since he's started. Conveniently, the moon chooses this very moment to come out of wherever she was hiding, shining right through the only window of your suite and hitting him right in the face to bring clear light to him and to his grin, the smug grin you've only caught glimpses of. Your nails dig deeper in his flesh, he gasps lightly and bites on his lip but the smirk doesn't leave, even though it looks ridiculous with his heavy droopy gaze, his red cheeks and his heaving. He's as affected as you are. And that's that precise revelation that throws you over the edge. You mewl aloud, turned euphoric with how incredible it feels to have him keep fucking you through your orgasm, with his cock dragging along your tight, sensitive entrance with his movements.
Soon he follows. You don't exactly catch the moment, too lost in your own euphoria to decipher when his begins, but you feel the change in his thrusts, sloppy and harsher, skin slapping louder in the quiet room and once you've both bathed fully in the pleasure, came back to the now calmer, quieter Earth, you realise your ear rings with the ghost of a raw, low scream that certainly was his.
Fuck, you need to hear this again but this time with your full, undivided attention.
But another time.
Right now, you're half dead. Your hearts have just started coming down from their high. With him laying almost entirely on you. The most of his weight he safely pressed to your side but he's clinging to you, the round tip of his nose buried in your neck, hands holding you tight against him and legs intertwined with yours. Your hand has found its way to his hair, the ungodly mess, fingers gently massaging his scalp, rolling the curls in between.
"So warm..." He hums against your skin, almost purrs. You smile lazily. "Never wanna leave."
"You don't have to." It's the exhaustion that renders your filter ineffective. You know you shouldn't have said that. You know even more so when he doesn't say anything back. "For now, I mean." You don't even know how much of this is a lie. If you really were only thinking about this moment, this night or if the future you both know too well, ugly but very real just waiting its moment to play out, was also on your mind. You're too tired and concretely, fucked out, to even think properly.
"I still have four months." It's a poor consolation. You don't mean to spoil it all. After having spent such a precious, wondrous time with him, you don't want to fuck it all up but you can't help your heart from squeezing painfully in your chest, your throat from struggling to swallow down the heavy ball that's lodged up there. Jungkook senses it. You know he does by the way he holds you tighter, pressing one of those kisses, the most tender ones, at the corner of your lips. "We'll figure something out." He says with an assertion you didn't expect and don't know the origins of. Yet, you trust him and the lump in your throat decides to leave for now.
Somehow, persuaded that you and your heart are safe with him.
Tumblr media
A/N: i can’t believe i finished this fucking monster. i need sleep. i’m sorry if it’s not super well edited, i did the 33 pages in one go and yeah. also it’s been so long since i wrote actual explicit smut, i have no idea how it turned out. 😳 let me know :)
to anyone who’s made it this far, thank you so, so, so much. you have my infinite gratefulness and i sincerely hope you enjoyed it.
i’m off to sleep, i hope you are having a wonderful day. stay safe, lots of lots of love 💜
1K notes · View notes
larentsaloud · 2 years
Note
Thyme it’s so used to people approaching him with other intentions and that the one time (that we’ve seen) he opened up and tried to welcome someone new in his life, he felt so betrayed he even declared war on his life long friend.
However I think Gorya it’s doing the best she can, considering he had only seen violence and pure evil prior to any close interaction with Thyme and tho she had seen Ren being complacent (she mentions it in the first ep too) she didn’t felt like he wasn’t an awful person bc he retired from watching violent acts and idk teenage crushes. It’s no wonder she’s wary, doubtful and confused about her feelings it’s not like a 17 year old can rationalize easily, being vulnerable and sensible towards a person who she considers evil will not be easy at all, the zoo incident proves it (saying “you’re still the same) she’s scared of Thyme just pretending to change in order to start a relationship with her (idk maybe her thinking goes back to the doll story).
I know we all love how much effort Thyme has been putting on being someone that she can be proud of calling her partner, but she hasn’t and it’s normal because it doesn’t even seem like that much time has passed either? Also they’re just starting to get to know each other (literally had 1 1/2 dates) the drama it’s definitely using their time wisely. I just really wanted to understand both sides Thyme only knows betrayal and being put to the side (throwback to when he said “Everyone loves Ren” and I think u said? “Nobody loves Thyme”) Gorya has had healthy role models of love through her entire life so it makes sense her not being keen on start to be open towards someone that she didn’t really had the best impression. Wrecker anon here :c I’m so sad the episode ended like that
WELCOMES YOU HOME WITH OPEN ARMS! MY SWEET WRECKER ANON. WE BESTIES NOW. SIT I'LL MAKE YOU TEA.
For real though, all that Thyme has ever experienced is betrayal, spying and people telling him how to live, his whole life trajectory is predestined by Cruella de Mommy.
We know he knows that. Plus his abandonment issues guarantee that if a girl whom he has come to adore and understand her POV slights him, he won't go easy on her. But I think he is mad at Ren.
He is mad at Ren for breaking the bro code. He is reeling from the misunderstanding between him and Gorya, willing to apologise he suddenly feels like an idiot. His mind is racing. So I was willing to say sorry and here she is hugging Ren? WTF?
I mean I get it.
Also, regarding Gorya. She is young yes so it's hard to know your own heart. While Thyme grew up prematurely which is what makes him so mature vs innocent sometimes, the dichotomy of his actions lies in the trauma of his childhood, right?
All kids that grow up too fast have this complex trademark in their behaviour. Infantile and mature simultaneously.
So for Gorya to trust either of them --its got to be perplexing. They are not from her world and she has made concessions for Thyme. While Ren offers her a warm hug, she knows he is in love with someone else, but has that ever stopped anyone from wanting your crush???
On the other hand, Thyme still has moments when he is either extremely submissive to her (almost to his own detriment because it hurts him) like when he says 'I will wait for you' moment and then he goes the opposite way of demanding to have his own way about the date or for her to ask him nicely.
That sort of juxtaposition in his behaviour confuses her. Like one min he is sweet and tender and next he petulant and what's worse she's seen his violent side.
This show stays authentic to the characters and doesn't push for the sake of plot. It's driven by them and that is a hallmark of a good script.
35 notes · View notes
superhero--imagines · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here!
A/N: I can’t always do tags since these parts are long but if you want to be tagged just lmk @thecrazytealady
* Honestly, everything feels so normal
* You’re sitting in the stands of a football stadium as a sea of graduates pass in front of you
* Well it’s mostly normal except for all the stares you get
* “You’ll get used to it” Kate tells you from your right side, you’re not sure when it happened but somehow you’ve become her favorite little member.
* “Sometimes we stare back to mess with them” Irina says from your other side with a teasing grin.
* Irina also seems to really like you, she’s probably you’re favourite
* While everyone else treated you like a child (which in a sense you are), she treated you like an adult
* You hope you can save her if things go exactly like they did in the book
* You’re hoping your close friendship with Edward changes things
* “Oh look there they are now-“
* And right on cue Alice was called first, then Edward
* An entire group of cheers erupt from your section, a few stands above you sits the entire Cullen clan
* Apparently the rest of them have already “graduated”, Alice and Edward are playing a year younger
* You catch him after the ceremony on the -pretty cold- field along with your-
* aunts?
* You’re not really sure what the official family structure is.
* “So what is this, your thirtieth time graduating high school?” You whisper to him after handing him his graduation present
* Some sheet music you know he’s been eyeing and a card that says “you only graduate once”
* You think he’ll appreciate the joke
* “It actually only my sixth” he grins, he so close you can feel a ghost of a breath on your ear
* You notice a couple of boys, adorning similar green graduation gowns staring at you. When you meet their eyes they hastily look away.
* “Hey Edward, what are those guys thinking right now?”
* He follows your line of sight and grins even wider
* “They’re thinking that it suddenly makes sense why I’m not interested in anyone at this school when I’m already dating someone as beautiful as you”
* And if you were anyone else you might have realized how you and Edward look when you’re together to everyone around you
* And it might have been the first sign that things have started to veer of the future you imagine
* But of course you don’t, and you say:
* “Really? You want me to believe two teenage boys used such eloquent language?”
* He laughs
* “I might have picked some.. kinder diction.”
* You both laugh, another private joke that would be referenced for years
* “And where’s my graduation gift?” Alice asks, you hand over a brightly wrapped package, it’s a magic 8 ball and a Chanel scarf, Edward already read Alice’s mind and assured you she would love it.
* “That’s hilarious” she says with a laugh, she hasn’t even opened the package, already seen what’s inside with her gift.
* “Are you coming to our graduation party tonight?” When she notices your confused expression she gives a pointed look to Edward. “You didn’t invite them?”
* Edward rolls his eyes
* “I didn’t think it would be that fun,” he looks to you and explains. “It’s just a party Alice likes to throw to help us fit in better.”
* “It also to commemorate graduating and going to college, which is Infinitely more fun.” She grins, a hand on Edwards shoulder
* He turns his attention to you, his mouth quirked in a lopsided smile
* “Do you want to go?”
* The party scene in Eclipse sure looked fun
* “Sure, sounds like a fun time.”
* It’s decided you’ll drive up with Edward after they all split up, and go to the party with him.
* You’re telling Kate and Irina when they get a look on their face
* “Is that not okay?” You wonder if it’s about Tanya, and how maybe she doesn’t like you spending so much time with Edward.
* “No it’s fine it’s just... will you be alright with all those humans?”
* You had done fine on the stands, but a house party was different, you guess it’s probably easier to eat someone when there are so many dark corners and so many suspects to pick from
* You wrinkle your nose, honestly you don’t get what the big deal is, sure they smell kiiinda nice, but the scent is comparable to one of your deers.
* Also, who knows where these people have been and what they’ve been eating. The thought of eating an alcoholics blood makes you scowl.
* “I think I’ll be fine” Irina laughs, and rests a hand on your shoulder
* “We’ll tell the others, do you want me to bring you a drink later on?”
* You shake your head, you ate a little bit more since you were going to be around so many people today.
* “I should be fine, Edward will probably drive me home, but if not I can always run”
* You always forget you can run faster than a car now.
* “I doubt Edward will refuse the opportunity to spend more time with you.” Irina smirks and you roll your eyes
* You’re both just friends, stuck in family’s where everyone seems to be in a relationship (except for you that is)
* There’s only so much you can take watching Eleazer and Carmen’s pda
* “I’ll see ya later” you excuse yourself to find Edward, who seems to be talking to a group of boys
* “So what’s their deal, are they your cousin or something?”
* “Um... they’re a family friend”
* Looks like Edwards confused about your family structure too
* “They look older are they in college?” Another asks, Edward hesitates, well you are older but you’re not really in school
* “Are you hooking up with them?” Edward winces
* “No we’re not close like that.”
* You decide now is a good time to intervene in the conversation
* “Hey, are you ready to go?” Edward looks relieved to see you
* “I’ll see you guys tonight at Alice’s party” he offers a polite smile before leading you towards his car
* When you’re finally out of earshot, you say
* “You know, I always thought we were the closest of friends” You think he’ll grimace at your teasing but instead he grins.
* “Do you enjoy being the subject of several teenage boys imaginations?”
* “I mean, it’s not-not a little bit flattering.”
* On the drive back to his house Edward takes you through town and points out every mundane landmark like you’re on a safari tour
* “And that is the grocery store I never visit, and next to it is the diner I had to pretend to eat food at during my mandatory “senior breakfast””
* “So what you’re saying is, this is the worlds’ most boring town.”
* “I would say boring adjacent, the town we’ll move to next doesn’t even have a major grocery store”
* He’s definitely talking about Forks.
* You must have killed quite a bit of time with your impromptu tour because when you get to the party it’s in full swing
* You and Edward stand in a corner and play your favorite game
* “Blonde girl in the corner.” He says
* Edward picks someone, and you have to guess what they’re thinking. You’re never right but it’s still funny
* “Hmmmm I’m going to say she’s thinking... ‘This is what all the hype was about? Can’t believe I’m wasting my Saturday night HERE.’”
* He laughs and shakes his head
* “She’s actually thinking about how the object of her affections hasn’t noticed her once, and has been spending all his time with someone else instead.”
* You totally miss the meaningful look Edward gives you.
* You make a face, unrequited love was the worst
* “Well that sucks, I wish there was some way we could help.” Edward only shrugs
* “They’re human problems, for us even if the person we love doesn’t love us back, we just wait a a decade or so, and they usually change their mind.” He grabs your untouched red solo cup
* “I’ll go get us some more drinks.” For a second you wonder if maybe Vampires can drink alcohol, but then you immediately deflate.
* Oh right, the human act, you almost forgot.
* You’re standing by yourself when the “unrequited love” girl from before approaches you, another girl with hair the color of caramel in tow
* “Hey, I haven’t seen you around before, do you got to our school?”
* Any person could see this was a hostile encounter
* anyone except you that is
* “Nah, I’m taking a gap year right now.”
* “Oh?” Miss. Unrequited lights up at that. “Didn’t get into your first choice school?”
* “No my parents died.” You say it causally, but they both freeze at that. So much has happened, colleges and your parents are the last thing in your mind. You notice the reaction though “It’s been a while though, so everything’s fine now”
* You give your best smile and the girl in front of you seemed flustered
* “How do you know Edward?” Miss. Caramel asks, while her friend takes a long sip from her cup.
* “Well- I guess he’s a family friend, but really I met him through Carlisle.”
* “Through Carlisle?
* “Dr. Cullen,” you quickly supply, to them he’s just the local handsome doctor. Not exactly someone who they’re on a first name basis with. “Yeah, Carlisle talked about Edward a lot when I was in the hospital.”
* Before you can scar either of these girls further, Rosalie appears by your side
* “Hey! Glad to see you made it!” She gives you a side hug and turns her amber eyes to the girls in front of you. “Amber, Bethany glad to see you. What are you guys talking about?”
* Both of the girls fall speechless in front of her, probably from her beauty you guess.
* You still get the urge to shield your eyes when you look at Rosalie.
* “Edward.” Rosalie rolls her eyes
* “Of course, the most perfect man alive.” You snort at that.
* “Perfect my ass, I saw him snort drinking yesterday and he sprayed the whole counter top.” Rosalie raises a well groomed eyebrow
* “Really?” A smiles tugging on her lips
* “That’s not even the worst part, do you know he took 43 minutes to clean it up.”
* Rosalie laughs, and the other two look at you with awe.
* “Edward Cullen snorts?” The caramel Coloured hair one, Bethany asks.
* “To be fair I did say a pretty good joke”
* “What was the joke?” Amber asks, and you grin.
* “What did the vampire say to the girl?” They look at each other and shrug
* “What”
* “See you next month” The two girls don’t seem to think it’s good, but Rosalie is dying of laughter
* “He must have hated that!”
* “Oh I’m sure he did, that’s why I said it” Rosalie laughs even harder
* By the time Edward comes back, it’s basically just a two way conversation with you and Rosalie roasting the ever loving crap out of Edward, with two humans eagerly watching
* “One time while we were eating Edward just kept complaining about how “existence is agony and how none of us have a soul” like dude, we’re eating, could you just chill for a second please?” Rosalie says and you laugh
* “I have the perfect Edward impression” you clear your throat and set your face to the best “I’m constipated and existence is agony” face you can manage “I’m an outsider. No one can understand me. No one has thoughts like I do. Existence is agony”
* if Rosalie could die she would have died of laughter, she’s hunched over and every time you think she’ll stop laughing she starts another wave.
* “To be fair, I don’t think anyone has thoughts like mine” You turn to see Edward behind you, he’s actually got an amused smile as he hands you a red solo cup.
* “It’s Henrietta,” he whispers in your ear. “ I figured all the laughing might have made you thirsty”
* “For an outsider like yourself, that’s awfully kind of you.”
* The laughing did make you thirsty, it also explains what took him so long. You wonder if he ran all the way to your house to get you a drink.
* Rosalie doesn’t say anything just grins as she watches you two, Edward’s eyes flick from you to her, and you wonder what he’s experiencing right now
* You’re not going to lie, his narrative of mind reading was your favourite part of midnight sun
* “Do you want to dance?” Well that question came out of nowhere.
* “Sure”
* Queue you and Edward awkwardly waltzing on the makeshift dance floor
* “Who taught you how to waltz?” Edward asks as you step on his feet yet again, you’re glad he’s a vampire and can’t feel pain.
* “You. Right now. I’m learning from the school of life experience.” You grin and he rolls his eyes
* “Here,” he picks you up, and places your feet on top of his. “Better?” You nod and laugh
* “They’re kind of cute right?” Rosalie says to Amber and Bethany, a twinkle in her eyes. Amber sighs.
* “Yeah they are.”
* Rosalie feels kind of bad. She didn’t mean to rub it in her face, but she doesn’t like anyone being mean to you. She already kinda liked you from The game night , and after tonight she REALLY likes you. It’s nice to have someone else on the “roast Edward squad”
* “Oh look, it’s Bradley from the swim team, should we go over and say hi?” Bradly was definitely single, and Rosalie loves playing matchmaker “Sure”
* Edward drives you home at the chaste time of 11:30
* “Did you have a good time tonight?” He asks, walking you to the front door. Ever the gentleman.
* It’s not like a thing alive could hurt you anymore.
* “Yeah it was really fun!” He let’s out a sigh of relief and a nervous smile.
* “That’s good, you’ve been seeming kind of... off lately so I was worried”
* Ah, so he had noticed. You had been feeling off lately. Only four more years with him at most until he moved somewhere far away.
* “Yeah, I’m just a little jealous I guess.”
* “Jealous of what?” His eyebrows thread together. And you sigh.
* “You get to go to college and I can’t.”
* You really are jealous about that, While you’re stuck in the house, Edward will get to move forward and make all sorts of relationships and memories
* His mouth purses, and you feel bad. You shouldn’t have said anything, there’s nothing he can do about it after all.
* “Ah, don’t worry about it, I’m just glad to be here with people who care about me.” That only makes him frown more. But he offers you a small smile.
* “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says and then he does something really unexpected:
* He kisses your forehead, before retreating back to his car. You watch his car wind away down the circle driveway from the porch. A hand on your forehead where his lips touched and a flutter in your heart.
* Man, Edward was so unintentionally smooth, no wonder Tanya was still hung up over him
* Wait, was Tanya still hung up over him?
* Somehow you found her behavior not consistent with someone with unreciprocated feelings
* The days pass on by, Edward’s around more now because it’s summer break.
* Likewise trips to the Cullen residence are also more frequent because it’s summer break
* You oddly enough spend a lot of time with Rosalie, you mostly roast Edward but occasionally you reminisce about human stuff
* “What do you miss the most?” She asks and you think for a minute
* “Probably Italian food, maybe alcohol” She let’s out a moan
* “Oh my god, how good does mushroom ravioli in a creamy Marsala sauce sound?”
* “Good enough to kill for”
* By extension you also get close to Emmett, but in a totally different way
* “Alright hit me with everything you’ve got!”
* “Uh are you sure about this Emmett?”
* You’re both in a clearing about thirty feet apart
* “Yeah, just show me what you’re made of” He giving you a wicked grin, no doubt glad to have someone new to spar with.
* You shrug, he is asking for it
* He doesn’t even make it a foot forward before he crumples to the ground. You’ve been holding back so long, it almost feels good to not have to contain all your body’s grief
* You reel it back in when he taps out. You expect him to look at you like you’re a monster but he just grins
* “You’re really something else kid”
* You even get close to Esme who assists you in drawing up a schematic for a barn, and Jasper helps you build it.
* “I think the door should go here” he tells you
* “But then it would be facing the fence and that doesn’t seem right”
* He scratches his head and you stare at the architect sketch in your hands
* “It’s supposed to be right here” Alice tells you, already searching through the future for the correct placement.
* And of course you and Edward continue your piano cat and mouse game, where you each start a piece and wait for the other to catch up to your playing.
* Maybe it’s because things are going so well that you can’t help but wonder what went wrong with Tanya and Edward
* So one night, when you’re sitting together in the library, you ask her
* “Tanya why do you hate Edward” She sputters
* “I don’t hate him!” You raise a skeptical eyebrow and she sighs “it’s just- it’s embarrassing !”
* She tells you about how Carlisle had told her about his son, and how he was the last to be without a mate, and was very depressed
* “I thought of it like I was doing a service you know, we would date for some time and have a brighter perspective on this life.”
* You can already guess how this story ends, but you ask “So what happened?” She huffs
* “Well he flat out rejected me, told me I wasn’t his type, can you believe that? A forever 17 year old telling ME I’m not his type.”
* Yeah for a woman like Tanya who was every man’s ultimate fantasy that does seem pretty mortifying
* “Is it-“ you meet her eyes “is it okay that I’m friends with him then?”
* Her eyes soften and she beckons you into a hug
* “Of course it is little one,” she kisses the top of your head “and if it ever happens to grow into more than that that’s okay too.” You wrinkle your nose
* “I wouldn’t bet on that Tanya.” She rubs your shoulder
* “Well you never know, and if that happens, and for some reason he’s lost his mind at tells you you’re not his type don’t take it personally, there’s something seriously wrong with that boy.” You laugh
* The days pass by in a blur.
* Edward starts college studying veterinary science, and every day he comes back and teaches you what he learned
* “Sometimes I feel like I’m getting more out of this than you” he tells you as you do his homework
* “It be like that sometimes”
* You start experimenting with other animals blood, mostly chickens, ducks, and geese.
* You also have a moose now so that’s cool
* After many faithful years Henrietta passes away. You stayed in the barn with her all night, and planted a pine tree over grave.
* “All things die in the end huh?” You whisper as you stand over the first deer you befriended, and Eleazer rubs your shoulder
* “Not us” he whispers
* “Not us” you repeat
* You and Edward are lying next to each other in your bed, both of you pretending to sleep
* “What was it like when you turned?” Edward’s the one break the silence. He always is when you do your dreaming sessions
* “It was... nice” it really was, the venom was warm like a blanket, lulling you into a peaceful last sleep. This surprises him.
* “Are you some kind of masochist?”
* “Well what was it like for you?” You roll your eyes. He goes on a long descriptive tangent, but in short: it was absolute agony.
* “Well that’s weird, I wonder if Alec had some kind of special venom or something.” He flinched at the mention of Alec but doesn’t say anything else.
* The days pass on, just as they always have, but something starts to feel off. Both in your household and in the Cullen’s house. Some sort of tension
* You think about asking Edward or Eleazer about it, but decide against it.
* Maybe you’re just being paranoid
* One day you’re getting blood from the kitchen, when you notice the entire coven is sitting on the kitchen table
* Weird, but maybe they do this all the time and you just never noticed.
* “(Y/N) can you come here for a moment?”
* Well crap
* They all ramble over each other for a few minutes, and you only catch bits and pieces of what they’re saying
* “Everyone here loves you-“
* “It won’t be forever-“
* “Carlisle might even get you a blood bag or two-“
* “Enough!” Tanya roars and immediately the others fall silent, she looks at you with warm eyes and a kind smile
* “(Y/N), the Cullen’s are leaving,” ah, so it’s already time for them to go, Tanya explains how the Cullen’s move around more often than your coven does, on account of Carlisle’s job. Well you knew this was coming. It was nice while it lasted
* “-And that’s why we think you should go with them”
* Wait what.
* “You want me to leave?”
* “No of course not!” Irina shouts, wide eyed, she’s sitting the closest to you. “It’s just-“
* “We see the way you look at Edward,” Eleazer says. Oh not this again, how many times do you have to say it. YOU BOTH ARE JUST FRIENDS.
* “Like you want what he has.” He finishes
* Oh
* “We’re too late in the cycle to send you to school, Irina and Kate have already gone, and it will be another ten years before we decide to move.” Carmen says, her teeth digging into the flesh of her lip. “A lot of things could happen in ten years,”
* The Volturi could want you back on ten years
* “so we think you should go with the Cullen’s and get an education and have a normal life-“
* “Normal-adjacent,” Kate interjects, because life was never going to be completely normal for you ever again. Carmen grins,
* “Normal-adjacent life, you’ll get to have friends, and you could study whatever you want, you don’t have to learn secondhand from Edward.”
* “And you can come back whenever you want!” Kate reassures. “If you decide you don’t like it, and that it’s not what you want, you can always come back, we’ll be right here.”
* They all stumble over each other to reassure you that it’s your choice, and if you decide to stay that’s fine too. But there’s only one question on your mind
* “Do the Cullen’s already know about this?” The table falls silent.
* “Yes, they do.” Tanya says
* “And what do they think about the arrangement?” All eyes trail to Eleazer, so he was the go between for your Covens
* “I think they’re all pretty excited, Carlisle wanted you from the start.”
* Carmen sucks her teeth and lightly slaps him on the arm. “What it’s true, you know Esme’s been cross with him ever since she met them, she wants you too.”
* They’re all looking to you waiting for an answer. You’re not sure what the right thing to do is.
* You’re not stupid, you know things have changed from the original story line, you know the Volturi isn’t going to want Bella as much now that they have you.
* But still... you do want an education, a chance to do everything the way you always imagined
* You also kind of want to see Edward and Bella’s love story play out. Especially now that he’s your friend
* Also you think you should really deter him from watching her sleep, that crap was creepy as hell
* You sigh, there’s really only one choice
* “I’ll go with the Cullens’.”
681 notes · View notes
linkspooky · 3 years
Note
my dude i love your takes on jjk so much, like ive spent hours reading and rereading them because theres this poetic beauty in your writing that i cant find anywhere else ❤❤ and if you could/have the time to spare, could you elaborate more on how '[gojo] is always staring into the infinity"? i find that concept/phrase so interesting tbh ^^
Tumblr media
“Gojo’s always staring into the infinity”, in a sense, because he’s always looking at the whole picture at once he misses out on individual details. Gojo knows so much information, and comprehends so much information all at once, that he just has to filter out some of it.
I think it’s important to remember that there is a normal teenager buried deep down in Gojo, underneath all that power. That he’s more like a normal person coping with being given eyes that can see through everything, rather than like, a saintly individual. What do most people do when they’re overwhelmed? They filter out details and only pay attention to a few things. 
Tumblr media
Gojo is actually capable of perceiving people as individuals, when they make him acknowledge them, look them in the eye. I think one critical mistake Gojo makes is that he assumes empathy is a connection. Gojo doesn’t really feel connected to people, he observes them, and logics out their behavior, but that doesn’t mean his connections are any less valid than the connections Geto feels for people. 
Tumblr media
Gojo gives every indication with his actions that he did care for Amanai in his own way, however, he can’t feel like he cares deep down in his heart, and so because of that assumes that he doesn’t. Gojo is simultaneously, all too aware of himself, but also not aware of his own feelings. Like I said, Gojo is always staring at the whole picture, he receives such a constant influx of information that he doesn’t look at the details. Individual people become blurry.
Tumblr media
That’s why Gojo always tethers himself to something else. Geto’s sense of right and wrong. Geto’s ability to read his feelings for him. Rules. Respnosibilities. Obligaitons. 
I always say Gojo is constantly looking into the inifnity, because if you think about it, Gojo is always thinking about what will effect the whole world at once, rather than the individual. 
Tumblr media
Gojo perceives a crowd of people like this. They’re all drawn facelessly. He knows it’s wrong to sacrifice innocents, and will go out of his way following his own rules not to sacrifice them, but he also will do it if pushed. 
Tumblr media
However, at the same time if you think about what Unlimited Void does to Gojo as a person every time he uses it, it makes perfect sense why he filters out people’s faces.
Tumblr media
Normal people, experience six months in .2 seconds, so imagine how much information flows into Gojo’s brain every time he uses it? Gojo is not only given so much power, he’s burdened with it, imagine the information that flows through his brain every time he uses his own abilities. He can see with his six eyes almost all of this, but no matter what he does, he’s just one man in the end.
Mahito has a very similiar reaction to Gojo, to being able to see people’s souls. 
Tumblr media
Individual life loses it’s meaning to him, because he can see the entire picture at once.
Tumblr media
What’s the value of an individual when you are constantly looking at the whole? That’s what Gojo and Mahito are constantly dealing with when they are children, who are, too smart, and who see too much. Mahito and Gojo are also remarked as being similiarly childish, with no particular attachment to anything. They’re detached from the world around them, they respond by detaching themselves from what they’re eyes see, because it’s too overwhelming for them.
From that point they take the opposite approach, Gojo ties himself to rules, and Mahito acts like there are no rules but in the end they are both children with too much power. Gojo staring into the void can’t really see other people’s individual feelings or see how they matter, but that also applies to himself as well. Gojo can’t see his own feelings or take care of them so, floating alone in a void is a good metaphor for his ability.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
211 notes · View notes