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#and i’ve always known this but tried so so hard to change how i feel to find some meaning in life and it was all for nothing

jasonswhitetuftofhair · 2 months

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“Come at me, Baby”

Characters/Pairings : Jason Todd (Red Hood) x female!reader.

Synopsis : Jason and Reader spar and after training things get steamy filthy.

Content Warnings : SMUT. Slow burn. Poor writing. Lots of plot. Training/Sparring (reader learns combat). Curse words. Pet names. Overstimulation. Multiple orgasms. Protected sex. Size kink (barely noticeable). Oral (fem rec.). Fingering. Dry humping. Use of object as toy (Jason uses a muscle massage gun on you). Vaginal intercourse. Light bondage (Jason ties your hands w/ resistance bands). Reader insert (sorry). Aftercare.

Fandom : DC, Batman.

Word Count : 5202

Author’s Notes : First fic I’ve written. Like ever. Also, this is a repost; I originally posted this for the first time in October 23’ but I deleted it in December 23’ due to insecurity.

This week had been tiring. Multiple meetings, a lab breakout scare, a few late night patrols all on top of studying the material you’d been given had started to add up. All you wanted was to retire for the night, go to your room and take a nice, relaxing, long, hot bath. Gorge yourself with junk food and put your show on, and then sleep like the dead. But no, tonight called for an evening training session with your training instructor.

Jason. Jason Todd. Before you had entered the gym, you weren't sure if you would be up to train tonight. But watching him enter the double doors with his hot-as-hell all black tactical pants, skin tight athletic t-shirt and combat boot ensemble quickly made you reconsider. As if it was hard.

Ever since Bruce had finally gotten Jason to accept his proposal of conducting training sessions with everybody, you’ve been feeling like a sitting duck. You had been trying to hide your feelings from the older vigilante for a while now. A while as in since you first arrived at the manor. Nearly eight months had you been stumbling around whenever he was near, barely making eye contact and feeling like an idiot because of him. And you had been succeeding, too! Barely, but still. He didn't know anything and now with your new arrangement, how could he not pick up on the vibes you were sending out? It was only a matter of time before your feelings were compromised and you were left heartbroken and feeling like a fool, your friendship with him long gone.

It wasn't so bad, though. You had always been good at adapting and Jason wasn't necessarily bad on the eyes. It was kind of fun, too. His little dry humored remarks, shared inside jokes and just…him, made him good company. After all, he was your friend. You haven't known him long, but it still felt like you’ve known him forever. But that was the problem. Your friendship with him was too much of a treasure to have it be risked just because of a little crush. You’d rather be plagued by the overwhelming melancholy of your predicament than not have him at all. If the only way you could allow yourself to indulge in the feel of his hands on your body was when he was training you in combat, then that was something you were okay with settling for.

“Earth to Y/N. Um hellooooo, you there?” Jason’s equally teasing and concerned words pulled you from your trance you hadn't even realized you’d fallen into.

Your embarrassment quickly appeared on your face and didn't go unnoticed by him. “Yes! Sorry, I’m here.” Having been snapped out of your thoughts, you noticed that Jason had you held against him mid-air. You threw a punch at him, but he of course dodged it so you did what you first thought next. You tried to kick him in his side but he quickly grabbed your ankle and gently but strongly twisted it so that your body changed direction. Before you could lose balance and fall he grabbed your other thigh and caught your body against his, holding you to him. You didn't react at all, though, and his initial thought was that he crossed a line he didn't know of and did something to upset you. He called your name and you didn't answer the first time so he paused the lesson and brought you back to him.

He was a little worried, honestly. He knew you to be like this, often catching you staring off into space and likely daydreaming or stuck in deep thought. It was your expression, though. The mild sorrow, a little bit of adoration shining in those pretty eyes he loved so much, too.

“You sure? We can take a break if you need it,” he offers, gently smiling at you, “is everything okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?” he asks worriedly. Gazing into his eyes, your heart almost swells up. He looks so genuine, like it would hurt him if he hurt you and you let yourself pretend it's for other reasons. “Yes, I’m fine, promise. Just have a headache s’all.” It's enough to relax him just the slightest but he doesn't believe you. Your body language is just not convincing enough. He finally puts you down and lets his eyes skim all over you. He tells himself it's to check for signs of discontent or injury, but he knows he can't lie to himself. Youre just too fucking beautiful. He shakes himself out of it before the blood rushes south and gets back to the lesson.

“So. You really need to get out of the habit of kicking. It can't be your first instinct, sweetheart. You're exposing an entire limb to the enemy and you're not skilled enough yet to counter whatever it is they plan on doing. I know it's hard, but you need to really start implementing your upper body strength,” he explains to you, occasionally letting his fingers linger on your skin when showing you what the enemy could potentially do to you. You truly appreciate how gentle and accommodating he is when it comes to teaching you. You’ve seen him train with the others and sometimes his harsh tone is enough to make you jump even when his words are directed to someone else. He’s been so patient with you and the thought of him going out of his way to train your aversion-to-fighting self makes your heart flutter. You nod along with him, letting him know you haven't gone off to La La Land again.

“Alright. Come at me, honey,” he orders while positioning himself in the default defense stance. Legs strong, but ready to move. Arms by his side ready to catch and balance. Core strong and taut, chest puffed. Eyes on you, just as he likes it. He finds it adorable how clueless your little expression is. Eyes wandering all over the place, arms trying to find a good way to support yourself and legs waddling to their correct position. Like a baby deer learning how to walk. He hears your little words of encouragement to yourself and watches your eyes, watching the gears turn in your brain. While his focus is stuck on your pretty face, he doesn't notice your left hand curling behind you while you spin yourself around, pressing your back to his front. He grunts and catches your right hand before it can land around his bicep. You quickly move your feet backward and jump behind him, putting all your strength into kicking his back hamstring, but he’s already several steps ahead of you. He turns around before your foot can land and grabs your ankle, destabilizing your legs and grabbing your wrists, holding them tight in his right hand.

This of course leads his mind to other things, things that would involve this very position. You curl your leg around his stretched leg and twist your body around, landing you on top of him. Your legs straddling his abdomen and palms resting on his waist. He doesn't mind at all, though and senses a pause in your movement. He notices your tired expression, your flushed face and neck, the sweat on your hairline, neck and brow. You jump, as if just now realizing the position you had him in. You move to sit next to him and he moves into a sitting position, no longer back to floor. You flash him a cheeky grin, happy with yourself for winning this time.

“Did I do good?” you ask him excitedly and he chuckles, your pretty little smile having caused his heart to skip a beat. ‘Did I do good?’. That phrase would be on repeat in his brain for a little while, he could tell. The way you seeked his approval caused his groin to stir and he stood up, quick to distract himself.

“You did. I’m proud, that was much better. We’re gonna focus on your upper torso, now, okay?” He guides you to stand and places his hands on either sides of your shoulders, guiding you to stand in front of him. “I'm gonna throw at you, and you're going to block them.” He playfully wiggles his fist in front of you and you grab onto it giggling. Oh how he adores that sound. He sneakily aims and his fist appears next to your collarbone, you move your body out of the way. He does it again, this time it comes next to your left shoulder. You grab his wrist with both hands and block it. He doesn't miss the way you needed both hands to wrap around his wrist. He moves again, fist to the right of your face. Your eyes widen and he shushes you and you relax. You both know he wouldn't make a move to successfully cause you harm.

This goes on and on for what seems like forever. Your stamina has dwindled down a while ago and he can tell how tired you are. He thinks about cutting training early, but for his own selfish reasons he decides against it. He doesn't want your time together to end. Still, you're barely putting in any effort and you're certainly not trying to hide it from your instructor. His eyes haven't left you since the session began and he was very pleased with all the intel he’s received. Your short, panted breaths. The way your cheeks and neck flushed with that pretty shade of pink that suited you so well. Your wide eyes, how they seemed to sparkle under the annoyingly bright lights of the gym. How they seemed to water whenever he stared into them for too long. Your wobbling lip whenever you got a little too into it. How you went out of your way to put both of your hands on him, regardless of if it was beneficial or not. The way you didn't even move out of the way of his punches anymore. You just watched the muscles of his arms flex and wished they were around you instead.

“You gotta put in some more effort for me, princess. I know you can do it,” he tells you, cooing at the way you whine at him, silently wishing he would end training early. He chuckles. “C’mon, block em’, sweetheart.” You roll your eyes and try to muster up whatever strength left in your exhausted body. Your hands meet his and successfully block a hit. He doesn't forget how you rolled your eyes, though. What he wouldn't do to have you bent over his lap for that. He finishes with the punches and leads you to the equipment.

He stands you in front of the power rack looking thing, gripping your waist and holding you up, waiting for you to grab onto the handles on top. “Chin-ups. Fifteen of em’,” he tells you and you groan. He knows you hate chin ups. “Tsk, tsk. C’mon, princess. Don't make it twenty. These help with your shoulder and bicep strength. Use an underhand grip, palms facing you.” You sigh and get into position, starting what he told you to do. You made sure to be as dramatic as possible, though; you were too tired to keep the brat in you at bay. Jason, on the other hand, doesnt try to hide the way he is blatantly staring at your ass, thighs and waist. He burns the image in his mind and moves closer to you, holding onto your waist to make you feel secure.

You huff and sigh out, hoping he’ll give into you. Throughout the entirety of the session, his hands have been on you. His breath has been on your neck. The feel of his body on yours. Him in your proximity. It was frustrating. Having him so close, but far away. Little did you know he felt the same. His hands move to rub encouraging circles into your hips and you whimper out loud, to your embarrassment. He doesn't even try to hide his smirk, though. Once the exercises are done, he holds onto you, purposefully moving his big hands to rest on your ass, bringing you down. You’re done with his teasing and turn around, pressing your palms flat to his chest and keeping him at bay. You signal with your eyes that you’re not in the mood for the teasing and he coos, holding your face between his two hands. “Is there something you want, baby?” you whine and cry out for him trying to hide your face into his chest but he only lifts your chin back up so he can see you. “Come on, sweetheart, if you want something you have to ask for it.” “hmph! I want you to stop teasing me, Jason!” He smiles wickedly and lets you go. “Training is over,” he states simply and you sigh contentedly, walking to the locker room.

Before you can open it, though, Jason’s hand wraps around your wrist and you turn to him. “You didn't actually think I was done with you, did you?” he asks but doesn't wait for an answer. He opens the door to the locker room and guides you into it before locking the door. In an instant you're pressed against the door, cold wood on your back, and Jason’s mouth on yours. It's not much of a fight for dominance, his tongue having beat yours instantly. It feels heavenly. Not just the feel of his tongue in your mouth, tasting yours, but finally all this pent up tension leaving your body. You sigh into the kiss, Jason’s hand comes up behind your neck to grab the hair at the base and you mewl against him.

You were losing oxygen and his kisses traveled from your lips, to your chin, to your jaw, the sweet spot on your neck. His big hands wrapped tightly around your waist and the feel of his open-mouthed kisses on your neck has your jaw slack and breathing uneven. He smiles at the way you look like a puppy with your open mouth and panting, practically drooling.

“This okay, sweetheart?”

You were practically soaking through your panties by now and the tenderness of his words and low pitch of his voice certainly wasn't helping. You nod a yes and throw your head back at the feel of his harsh sucking on your neck and collarbone. He growls and spanks your bottom, “I need words, Y/N,” he commands and you whine out loud yet again. “Yes! Please, need you, Jason,” you tell him and that’s all he needs to hear.

Carrying the two of you, he picks you up and holds you against him. Your legs wrapped against his waist and he sits down on a bench, you still on his lap. His kisses don't stop and the feel is euphoric. His hands haven't stopped roaming your body. The feel of his big hands groping at your soft, supple flesh through the clothing separating you from him combined with just…him, was damn near enough to make you go crazy. You were tugging at his hair and pressing your face against the crook of his neck, desperate to smell his pheromones and your soft lips pressing kisses of your own against his neck had him hard against you already. When you felt his hardness against your tummy you gasped and tugged on his hair a tad bit harder and he moaned against you. Little curses left his mouth and you were seeing stars. Nothing had barely even happened and you were already this close to being admitted into Arkham Asylum.

Suddenly his hands paused their movements and his tone became one of seriousness. He grabbed your chin and forced your face towards his. Your pretty little glossed over eyes shining up into his had his breath hitch and for a split second he forgot what he needed to do. He could see the curiosity on your face, your teeth tugging your lower lip and he had to avert his eyes.

“Fuck, Y/N. I need to tell you something. I-I like you, Y/N. And not just in a friendship way. I understand—” he started but you cut him off, lurching towards him even more and grabbing his head between your hands, kissing him with a force you didn't know you could possess. He could feel you smile into the kiss and he let you have control this time. Not for long, though. He grabbed your hair into his fist and you gasped. “I-I like you, too, Jason. Have for a while now,” you mumbled against him and he grabbed your plump bottom with both hands, bringing your body flush with his. This only fueled the fire, though; his rock hard cock straining against his pants feeling your core against him had him clenching his jaw and closing his eyes, trying to control himself a little bit.

“I like you a lot, Jason. A lot a lot,” you whimpered against his lips and he smiled. You could see the genuinity in his eyes and the softness in his smile. He placed a gentle kiss against your forehead and then one on your nose and finally one on your lips. “I'm glad, sweetheart. Very glad,” and with that he grabbed your hips and shifted your legs a little bit. He forcedly rocked your clothed cunt against his hardness and your eyes closed, head tossed back. It was almost too much, too fucking much. You had been teased all night long and with all this foreplay you weren't sure if you would last. You tried to paw his hands off of your hips and stop your movement, but you just weren't strong enough. His devilish grin staring up at you, his pretty girl, had you whining and grow the ache in your pussy. “Stop, ‘s too much, stop, please, Jay,” you begged against him and all he could do was smile. “Stop? You want me to stop? But I’m not even doing anything, baby,” he teased. He knew he was teasing the damnit out of you. Even as you begged for mercy, there you were, still riding his clothed dick. You couldn't help but follow his lead though, your hips couldn't help but relish in the feeling of his hands tight on them, guiding you back and forth. Even if you wanted to you weren't sure if you could stop. God, it felt so good. Nothing you had ever felt like before. His hands on your hips and his mouth abusing your sensitive skin. The hardness of him grinding directly onto your clit. It was all so amazing.

He could tell you were close. He’s never had you before but he already knew all your tells. Your panting and labored breaths. The way you couldn't keep your eyes open. The stuttering of your hip movement. How you tried to get closer to him, even though you were flush to him. Gasps and whimpers leaving your mouth. Your hands tried to paw his hands away yet again. Think you’d learn the first time. His mouth went right back to sucking marks into your skin and he cooed at you. “C’mon, babygirl. You can do it. I know you need it, sweetheart. Just let go and cum for me,” he softly commanded. Hips following his words, your pace quickened and he ground you down onto him. His own hips jerked up and his cock spanked your core. Within moments the climax unraveled and you let out a screech. The white hot bliss greeted you and the power of your orgasm could be felt in every nerve ending of your body. You shook for a good thirty seconds and your vision went blurry. You slumped against him tiredly and he chuckled. His soothing hands rubbing circles into your back and sweet nothings helped calm you down and your high rode out. You lazily started unbuckling his belt and he grabbed your wrists, stopping you. Oh how you liked the feel of his hands grabbing you like that. “Tsk, tsk, Princess. ‘M not done with you yet.”

In an instant he was untying your shoe laces, kicking them off your feet and forcing your pants down to your ankles. His hands ripped your panties off and you were exposed. The brisk air was biting against your wet cunt and you gasped slightly. He raised you up against the lockers and wrapped your legs around his head, hands planted firmly on your ass holding you midair. The smell of your arousal and the previous orgasm dripping everywhere had him painfully hard. “Tell me if it's too much, baby, and I’ll stop, okay?” You whispered a ‘yes’ and he finally satiated his desire to have your cunt in his mouth. His mouth went straight for your clit and you shrieked at the feeling. His light little sucks on the nub had you rolling your eyes back and jerking your hips. Continuous moans leaving your mouth only encouraging him. He licked a stripe straight up and down the length of your pussy and his own moans left him. You tasted fucking delicious. Like everything he had imagined. All those times he imagined how you’d feel and he was finally fucking seeing for himself. He felt like a kid on goddamn Christmas, his hands tightening his grip on your ass. You were sure there’d be handprints in the morning. His thumb went to rub rough circles on your little bundle of nerves while he thrust his tongue in and out of your weeping hole. You started to cry out for him, hands pushing against his head and fingers gripping his hair attempting to pull him off of your pussy. Absolute the fuck not. He looked to his right and to his luck there was a set of resistance training bands hanging from a hook. He smirked and looked up at your fucked out face and he chuckled to himself. Holding you up with one hand, he reached to his side and grabbed a cable band. You watched his movement and saw what he was doing and your eyes widened. The kinky bitch. “C’mon, princess. Give em to me. Since you don't know how to keep your hands to yourself, I have to take em away from you,” he teased playfully condescending. He tied your hands together behind your back with the workout gear and he hummed satisfied with himself before resuming his meal. He was fucking merciless with his tongue and you soon learned your crush was a borderline sadist. His mouth wrapped around your clit and his sucks were harsh and unforgiving. Like a man starved, he ate you like you were the last source of hope for his soul. His finger started fucking you, too. He started with one but your drenched hole quickly accommodated for more. Soon enough you were on the brink of another orgasm and he forced it from you roughly. “Again, sweetness. You can cum again, cant you? Give me another.”

The orgasm brought tears to your eyes and you wouldn't stop shaking. Your thighs were quaking around his head and your back arched off of the cool metal of the lockers you were propped against. Toes curling, head thrown back, continuous moans and screams leaving your lips. Your second climax of the night arrived and you screamed into the locker room, little sobs leaving your ruined body. He let you ride out your orgasm against his tongue until he was fully content and gently brought you down, placing one last kiss against your lower body. He sucked his fingers that were just shoved inside you, not breaking eye contact with your tired eyes. He placed his forehead against your own and wiped away your tears.

“You okay, baby? Was that too much?” he asked worriedly. He didnt want to fuck up his first time with you and feared he lost control of himself. You smiled tiredly against him and shook your head lightly. “‘M okay, promise. Jus’ need you, Jason.” He smiled and shuffled you towards the mirror and sinks. He took off his shirt and laid it on the edge of one of the sinks he was about to bend you over. You realized it was for your comfort and smiled up at him, feeling your heart swell up. Even when he was about to absolutely obliterate your cunt, he still managed to be a gentleman. He unbuckled his pants and finally his cock sprung up. He sighed, finally feeling relief. He watched you stare at his size through the mirror, seeing your eyes widen and your teeth tug on your lip. He lightly guided you into the position he wanted you in and you sighed contently, feeling comforted by the thought you would finally be fucked by him. Watching him pull a condom out of nowhere and rip it open with his teeth had you on the edge of your seat. He sheathed himself with it and made sure everything was ready. “Ya’ ready for me, sweetheart?” he asked while lining his tip up with your entrance, smearing your wetness all around his head. You gasped and shouted a little “yes” and he chuckled, sinking in. Even with two orgasms loosening your little cunt up for him, he was still a little much to adjust to. Both of your heads tossed back in sync and you closed your eyes, sighing for him. You worked your hips against him, wanting to feel more. He grunted and grabbed you by your hair, bringing your head up to look in the mirror. “Keep your eyes up here, baby.”

Once you were fully adjusted to his size, he slid almost all the way out and then re-entered your warm, wet heat. It felt so good. He set a pace and it was so heavenly. You could cry with how good it felt. You both needed this, needed this release for all the pent up frustrations in your lives. Sounds of flesh smacking against flesh and his grunts and your little sighs filled the room and the smell of sex was heavy in the air. His hands were on either side of your hips and his eyes met yours in the mirror. It was fucking exotic. Seeing your eyes perfectly, watching the pleasure unravel on your face. Pleasure he was giving you. His pace quickened a hair and you gasped. Your hips moved backwards against him, in time with his thrusts. You felt him deeper and the perfect rhythm of his cock repeatedly hitting that spot inside you almost hypnotized you. He smirked a little bit as he watched your fucked out face in the mirror. No thoughts, head empty. It was clear only pleasure was what you felt.

You didn't even notice him reaching above the both of you and retrieving something from the cabinet. Only when you heard the familiar buzzing noise did you wake up from the transe you were in and see what he had in the mirror. A muscle massage gun. For a moment you were a little confused, why was he hurt? Then you felt the big spherical head of the gun against your clit and your eyes rolled to the back of your head for the umpth time that night. He smiled and cooed at you from above. Yeah, he was definitely a sadist. He angled the gun a little bit to the left, wanting to overstimulate your abused little button. His thrusts hadnt ended and it was too fucking much. His pace was faster and harder and deeper now and had you both moaning up a storm. Your hands were finding themselves gripped onto the sink counter and you were struggling to keep your eyes open and in the mirror. He moved the massage gun setting higher and kept it firm against you. Your thighs were shaking and you were glad you were being held against the sink by him. You weren't sure you would be able to keep yourself up if you weren't.

“C’mon, pretty girl. Give me one more, please. I know you can. Cum for me, sweetheart.” You closed your eyes, feeling bliss about to erupt in you again. He quickly corrected you, though. His hand not being used to hold the machine to your clit came up to your throat, squeezing lightly on the sides. Not enough to cause genuine pain or prevent oxygen into your blood, just enough to give you that lightheadedness and in an instant you came on his cock. Your final orgasm was so intense and pleasurable—not surprisingly—and it lasted nearly thirty seconds. He removed the massage gun and returned both hands to your waist. His brutal thrusts as he chased his own orgasm helped you ride it all out. That blissful feeling that lasted longer than your orgasm did. All the stress leaving your body. Finally his sputtering hips stilled as he emptied his hot load into the condom and you whined, half wishing he was emptying himself into your wet little cunt instead. One day.

You both sighed and felt content again. You were sated and had finally gotten what you wanted. His loving palm rubbing circles into your lower belly, soothing you. He peppered light kisses on your skin and slowly slid out of your heat. He turned you around and kissed your forehead. All this loving kissing of his was making you wanna cry, it felt so good. Not just to be fucked right by him, but to have him, too. He was yours, now. And you were finally his. He grabbed your face between his palms and gazed lovingly into your eyes. “You okay, baby? Was that good? I didn't hurt you did I?” You smiled softly and nodded, “Yes, Jay. I'm perfect. You were amazing,” you reassured him with a blush.

He picked you up and sat you on the edge of the counter and got a washcloth from a basket, wetting it under the sink. He wiped the sweat and cum off your body and gave a kiss to each spot after it was clean. He helped dress you and by the time he was carrying you making his way to your room in the manor it was late. He opened your door and locked it behind him, leading you both to your attached bathroom. He undressed you again and turned on the shower. He lightly coaxed you in, seeing as you were so drowsy from all the night’s activities. He undressed himself and got in, lathering your body wash on a loofah and cleaning you. He wanted to make sure his baby was clean and cozy and content. When he was done washing you, he washed himself and enjoyed smelling like you a little too much. He carried you out of the shower and dried you off, clothing you in jammies and then put on some clothes you had stolen from him a while back.

He held you in his arms and you two cuddled each other all night long. You were his now and he couldn't be happier.

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seventhemaverick · 5 months

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Astro Observations 🌱

Disclaimer: This is my first Astrology post! I tried to do this earlier this year but tumblr lagged and it deleted all of my hard work lol. But now I’ve gained the courage to give it another go! I’m not a professional astrologer. I just study it in depth when I have time. Still very much a beginner. Please be kind and if I’m misinformed let me know! If you want to repost my work please credit me. This also has personal opinions in here don’t take it too seriously babes!

🌾 I don’t typically think Leo’s and Scorpios go together romantically BUT any other relationship outside of that exudes power team. For ex: Kylie and Kris Jenner. Scorpios are known to love power and Leo’s love the spotlight! Kylie was bound to be a favorite after her « ugly duckling » phase. Kylie rolls in the dough and Kris keeps that empire going. I’ve seen many Scorpio parents with Leo kids and they really seem to love them the most lol

Let’s talk about underdeveloped placements real quick!

🌿 Having a parent that is toxic or underdeveloped and has placements that fall into your second house can obliterate your self worth. ESPECIALLY if you have planets in that house and their placements are exactly conjunct 0° or 1-3°.

🌾 If your mars sign is exactly square one of your parents mars or 1-5° orb… 🌚 take the steps to move out if you haven’t already it’s for the best.

🌿 Capricorn moons I wish I could hug all of you. You had to grow up so fast and got handed some of the worst cards. But nevertheless resilience is your middle name. As you age things will get easier if you stand on business! Integrity is key.

🌾 I know libras are known to be superficial or whatever and I’m kinda one of them lol. I literally live off of aesthetics and I typically have nice skin but when I have a massive break out? I literally want to hide until they’re gone. My stress is next level when I don’t look my best.. I’m also a Leo Venus 😅 in the tenth house at that and have cancelled plans when I look and feel shitty.

🌿 All of the air signs almost always value intellectual stimulation first from their partner. Someone they can have great rapport, banter with. Someone that’s witty and knows a wide variety of subjects or has many interests is very hot. Sagittarius is the air sign of the fire signs so I’ll loop them in on this too.

If we lost any zodiac element, it would bring chaos to the entire world.

🌾 Air brings logic and reasoning, water brings compassion and empathy, earth brings grounding and patience, fire brings passion and vitality. Life is about interconnectedness.

🌿 I remember reading a blog that the gods put the constellation of Libra in between Virgo and Scorpio because they were too much alike and it’s so true lol. Both signs can be so compulsive and it’s overwhelming from what I’ve heard from Virgo and Scorpio placements. I can also see this easy going equivalence being the case for Sagittarius being in between Scorpio and Capricorn. The benefics happy go luckies in between the malefics drained and over it.

🌾… moon 3rd house overlay is addictive especially combined with 7th/8th/12th overlays in that synastry. I don’t think I can ever do that again unless we both have it overlaying each others charts. Someone’s moon in your 3rd house, their mind fascinates you and it’s easy to communicate with them you feel seen and heard. You dream about them, you think about them all the freaking time. It is the most annoying thing because why are you taking up my brain space like that bro? I had this with someone and I still think about them it’s been over for quite some time now. Another person that’s in love with me, my moon falls into their 3rd house and they tell me how much they think about me and day dream about me. I had said issue of daydreaming with the other guy. 2/10 would not recommend unless moon person is developed.

🌿 When the moon transits your first house you’re more likely to be more emotional and make drastic changes to your physical features! When Doja Cat shaved her head the moon was transiting her first house and I literally did mine the next day when it was transiting my first house.

🌾 Opinion but I love Pisces placements they are so helpful and loving when developed. I think the underdeveloped ones are too but they expect something out of it where the developed ones are just really selfless. I’m a Pisces Stan! I have so many in my life lol I have no Pisces placements. My 5H is in Pisces lol

🌿 Degree theory is that gworl. It helps you relate to the planet and it’s placement more depending on what the degree rules. For example I was dating a Sagittarius Venus in the 9th house at the 9° and he embodied that free spirited nature of Sag Venus fr. Another example, you can be a Pisces Venus but it’s in your first house at the first degree and the way you love embodies a more aries way of loving. Fiery, passionate a bit aggressive but very deep and tender to the core.

🌾 I’ve also heard the theory of when you reach the age of certain degrees of the placements you have you unlock that placements characteristics. Something significant happens to you during that age or you might master that placement regarding the planet and house placement.

🌿 The degree of your rising sign is more than likely the age of something significant happen in your physical life/to you physically. This is tea y’all.

🌾 You most likely share placements or degrees in your chart with your siblings. My sister is a Scorpio sun, Aries rising, Virgo moon and I’m a Libra sun, Scorpio rising, Aries moon. If I was born two days earlier I would’ve been a Virgo sun and if she was born one or two days later she would’ve been a Libra moon. So I think thats pretty cool. We’re also both Venus dominant and she has a Libra stellium 💗. You really choose your family for your next life lol like that’s so crazy to me.

🌿 Ima say dis with my chest. STOP doing wrong by Saturn ruled placements!!! Saturn is ruled by Capricorn, Aquarius in traditional astrology and we cannot forget about its exalted sign in Libra. As a Libra, I receive karma with the quickness but also people that have done wrong by me their quality of life decreases and or whichever house Saturn is in their chart is deeply affected in the worst ways.. daddy Saturn don’t play bout his! Be fair and follow the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

🌾 Having heavy Sagittarius placements in your chart makes you open to learn different languages or different cultures.. just always wanting to learn. Whatever house it’s in you want to master in life.

🌿 The mutables Gemini Virgo Sagittarius Pisces love their niches, they are the teachers and preachers of the zodiac.

🌾 Geminis have the gift of gab more than any other zodiac. Sagittarius could possibly go toe to toe with them

🌿 If anyone ever tries to degrade you for studying astrology and eggs you on to prove this practice to be true, get their birth info and read them their Chiron sign and house placement. Hit ‘em where it hurts!

🌾 Scorpio and Libra placements are usually the generational trauma breakers of their family. Honorable mention- Saturns children, Capricorn and Aquarius

🌿 An undeveloped Capricorn placement that enters your life is literally satan reincarnated to torture you for whatever you did wrong in your past life. And I (if u were raised around Christianity) believe Jesus was a Pisces/Aries! I can argue about this all day! In tarot Capricorn rules the devil! Like hellooooo

🌾 Sixth house/Virgo placements are pretty good at taking care of pets and plants. They feel the most sane around nature and animals.

🌿 Personal planets harmoniously aspected to Neptune make the person seem very angelic like. Very soft souls, earth angels. Hard aspects have people having an even more distorted projection of you.

🌾 Personal planets harmoniously aspected or not to Uranus gives you that shock factor some people will be repelled and some people will be very intrigued.

🌿 Aries placements especially sun and moon are really loyal! I’m talking mostly platonically. Once they see you as their person they are truly ride or die.

🌾 Cancer placements can be one of the most loving and giving when developed. Some spiteful mfs when underdeveloped omg.

🌿 I realize cancer placement women get treated with the cutest romantic gestures. I think they lovers want to do these things for them because they give off ethereal or princess vibes but they’re also real nasty in the sheets lol

🌾 Cancers don’t really get a bad rep even when they do shady things. For example: Selena Gomez when she dated Abel even tho she was cool with Bella was super weird. And I think a lot of people forgot how Kevin hart cheated on his wife like it was nothing lol. Ariana grande with the donuts and now the Ethan thing chileee. It’s like they get a second of backlash and then everyone adores them again lol.

🌿 Having a grand trine in your chart can make you so damn lazy in the houses those planets/figures are in 🥹🥲. It’s crazy cuz that talent(s) will come natural to you and you’ll over look it! Please don’t.

🌾 Grand squares are TOUGH but it pushes you to break cycles and overcome so much in your life. Same with t-squares

🌱 Astrology is really a map. It shows you which path you can take and where you can end up when you include discernment and discipline into your daily life. It’s never an excuse to behave the way you do. Ultimately it helps us reach our most aligned and enlighten self! I hope you all enjoyed. 🌱

Idk why I can’t figure out how to delete this question thing so let’s do a cute lil questionnaire!

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology #astrology observations #degree theory #scorpio #libra

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tonowarii · 1 year

Text

A Life for A Life

Pairing: Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan x Fem! Omaticaya! Reader

Requested?: Yes

Summary: “It can’t all be sorrow, can it? I’ve always been alone, so I don’t feel the lack. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve never experienced loss because I’ve never had a loved one to lose. But what is grief, if not love persevering?” - Vision, WandaVision.

Word Count: 7.8k

Warning/s: MAJOR ATWOW spoilers!! violence, swearing, angst to the max!! CHARACTER DEATH, hurt no comfort, just pain and suffering

Note: Now that I think about it, this may be my first time writing full on angst and having that certain tag in my warnings 👀 this piece absolutely broke me so I hope it breaks you too jk <3 Likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are most welcome and appreciated! Let me know your thoughts! And let me know if you want to see a comfort drabble for this!

GIF is mine!

You had understood Lo’ak when no one could.

Over the years growing up together, Lo’ak had created a soft spot for you in his heart, soon blooming into a romantic feeling that Lo’ak couldn’t shake, no matter how hard he tried.

At first, he just thought you were a good friend, a shoulder to lean on, but the more he stares at you whenever he finds himself ranting about his father again, he saw how your eyes held this certain look in them, how your ears perk every time he speaks a little louder because of his frustration.

Then he felt how long your touch lingered on him when you give him a comforting hug. It didn’t mean much to him at first, just an act of comfort, but when he soon realized his feelings for you, he almost wanted you to not pull away. He wanted to cling to you, he wanted to rest himself on you.

You were that person who could make his problems melt away just by the sound of your voice, and your gentle touches. He found it even easier to rest with you rather than being with his family, he liked to admit, but would never say it out loud.

Whilst Lo’ak delt with his feelings for you, you had also began to grow longing for him. Whenever he was out on a mission or just a hunt, you would find yourself worrying when he’ll be coming back, or even if he was going to comeback due to his share of recklessness.

You find yourself waiting, and when they do comeback, the first thing you wanted to see was him. Often, he’d come back perfectly fine, physically. Emotionally and mentally? Not so much as you could also feel the anger radiating off his father when he had disobeyed another rule of his.

You often get to witness how Lo’ak just looked down at his feet while he was getting reprimanded by his dad. Then when he dismisses them, you hurry off towards him.

This had been a routine for both of you, Neytiri almost thought that his son was dating you, surprising her by saying the two of you were just close friends, even if Neytiri could see how much untroubled Lo’ak was with you and how she could tell her son loved you just by her motherly instinct.

Then there was the time that came when Lo’ak finally had acted upon his feelings for you. It certainly took him a while, but every effort he made was worth it. It started by whenever he’s going to see you, he made sure to bring a little flower or two, surprising you. At first, he played it off, saying it was a sign of thanks. ‘For always listening to me complain and stuff’

Then soon it evolved into anklets made with little trinkets he found on the way to see you. You were beginning to get nervous when Lo’ak had started giving you these gifts, what could it possibly mean? And you, you were falling hard.

Lo’ak then had asked you to meet him after eclipse in your usual spot. You agreed, thinking Lo’ak just maybe needed a change of scenario.

Oh boy how you were wrong.

Lo’ak was almost jumpy from his nervousness as he was finally going to confess to you. He was already happy hen you agreed to meet him by eclipse, but that also meant his plan was a go.

“Lo’ak?” You softly called out. Then you heard a faint rustling before his voice replied. “Here.”

Upon hearing his voice, you’ve gotten the courage to stepf forth towards him. Looking around, your spot was much more beautiful at night as glowing vines hanged from trees, the ground glowed a soft green and purple, the leaves were being picked up by the breeze, sending glowing particles everywhere.

Then you spotted a kenten, your eyes widening with glee as you approached it, your hand reached out as you give it a small tap. It squeaked before unfurling its wings, glowing brightly and spinning away as you let out a loud laugh.

Then thanks to the glow of the kenten, it highlighted Lo’ak, who was watching you with a smile on his face.

You blush. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He responded, before beckoning you to come sit with him in the grass. “C’mere.”

Following, you sat across from him.

The silence had settled after a few minutes, the sound of nature was the only thing that can be heard, along with your occasional breathing.

Lo’ak then gulps, finally looking at you in the eyes and swallowing every bit of pride that he had as he softly grabbed your hand and held them against his bigger ones.

“The- the reason I asked you to see me here is because... I’ve like... No- shit... Okay, its because I love you (Y/N). Even if I tried, I can’t stop thinking of you. I always find myself picking up things to give to you, even if its just a little flower, and... Even if I know you deserve more than just that.”

Lo’ak could feel himself tense with the words he was saying, but he didn’t stop. “I don’t know what you did to me (Y/N),” He chuckles before heaving a deep breath “I just know I love you, not in that friend way... I love you as in I want to be with you, I want to provide for you, I want to be by your side, always. I’m actually getting ahead of myself- but I needed to say this to you. It is fine if you don’t feel the same way, I know I took too much time in saying this and I’m sounding very stupid right now because you are just staring... And-“

With a playful smack to his head, sending Lo’ak looking at you dumbfounded, stopping his declaration of love for you.

You laugh at his reaction before smiling widely as your heart pounded from hearing his words.

“You skxawng. It took you long enough.”

That’s when the long-awaited relationship finally bloomed between the two of you. Lo’ak couldn’t be any happier, well, the teasing of his family often makes him wanna smack his head on the tree but nonetheless, he was happy as his family accepted you, and your family couldn’t be any happier.

But every relationship has its ups and downs.

After a few years, the RDA was back and it has been rumoured that they were targeting Jake Sully again.

That’s when Lo’ak had faced the consequences of his actions when he went to the abandoned shack with his siblings. He found himself stood in front of you with the aftermath, with it being that they had to leave to get far away from the people, to protect them.

Tears clouded your vision, shaking your head no as Lo’ak pulled you in a hug as your tears rolled down your cheeks, placing your balled fists on his chest.

“No, I won’t have this, Lo’ak. I won’t. I don’t want to be far away from you.” You sobbed through, voice cracking in the process as Lo’ak frowned, holding you.

“We can’t. I can’t do anything about it, (Y/N). We leave tomorrow, dad had already talked to grandma about the next olo’eyktan.”

You sob harder, clinging onto him as his arms gave you a tight squeeze. Lo’ak didn’t want to leave you, but with his encounter with the avatars, it made him think that what if you were the one held captive?

But the way you were holding him it seemed like you had no plans of letting go.

He rubs your back as your cries slowly turned to sniffles.

“Lo’ak?” You ask, voice still shaky.

“Hm? What is it, baby?” Lo’ak’s voice answered.

“I’m going with you.”

Your parents were initially against the idea of you joining the Sully family, but they had soon agreed once Jake and Neytiri had promised that they would protect you and treat you as their own.

It was hard saying goodbye to your parents, but you had no choice, you didn’t want to be separated from him, not when you were miles away with no point of contact.

Lo’ak had then also secretly promised to your parents that he’d protect you, even if it had cost his life.

Then you had left Omaticaya.

During the long journey, you and Lo’ak stayed flying side by side on your ikrans, talking to each other to ease the tiredness.

Reaching the Metkayina clan, you were instantly curious as they had a huge contrast from your home, considering they were reef dwellers.

They had been surrounded by ocean; their skins were teal-green. They had bright blue eyes and tattoos that littered their body. Though you didn’t like the boys who made fun of your tails, sending them a glare your way when they had pointed out Lo’ak’s tail, and his four fingers.

Once the family had settled in, you were quickly advised by Jake to learn fast and to not be a burden. But the first few days were hard considering Ao’nung, the chief’s son, was being a total douche. He was always making fun of either one of you for not being able to learn fast.

Tsireya, now the chief’s daughter and sister of Ao’nung, was much more kinder, advising that every little progress is still progress. You’ve quickly found yourself befriending her due to your lessons together and Tsireya was more than happy to find a new friend.

Lo’ak however, was still finding difficulty with trying to follow due to Ao’nung and his gang’s teasing remarks. But he tried not to let his anger get the best of him. That seems to work considering you were always right there beside him when you were done with your lessons. That provided him with the comfort that you were still here, with him in every step of the way.

But at the end of every day, you find yourself and Lo’ak on the shore, talking to each other like you did back in the forest of Pandora.

“You did well today.” You smile, leaning against Lo’ak’s shoulder.

“Yeah? When I almost drowned?” Lo’ak joked making you laugh. “Maybe.” You teased and Lo’ak smiled, but then it was followed by a sigh. You glanced up at him “What’s wrong?”

Lo’ak looks at you before glancing back at the ocean “What if we don’t get used to this? What if I don’t get used to this? The people earlier… I saw them looking at me, at my hands… I hear them saying I’m not a true Na’vi, that I’m demon blood.”

“Hey, Lo’ak, no. You’re not what they say you are. You are Na’vi and Eywa has known it since the start. You,” You said, holding up his hand and grasping his pinky with your three fingers. “You are not a demon, you’re not demon blood. Your dad, he was, and I repeat, was once part of the Sky People, right? But look at him now, just doing what he can to protect his family, I don’t see any trace of demon blood in there. All I see is a good person doing what he thinks is right. Like you, Lo’ak. You are a good person, don’t let them make you question yourself.”

With a deep breath, you looked at him. “I see you.”

By the time you finished, you gave a light squeeze to his hand, finally intertwining it with yours as you showed him. Lo’ak’s eyes had tears threatening to spill out from them as he pursed his lips together, fighting down the lump in his throat. “Remember that Lo’ak, okay?” You say, facing the back of his hand towards your face as you give it a light kiss, looking at him. “I love you either way.”

“(Y/N).” He finally spoke, voice cracking. “Thank you. I love you. I see you.” He lets go of your hand to pull you in a side hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulder while your hand made its way around his waist. Your head perfectly rested against his shoulder as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

You both had ended watching the eclipse in silence, holding onto each other for strength.

A few weeks had passed, and things was just starting to get good when you’ve heard that Lo’ak and Neteyam had picked a fight with Ao’nung and his gang.

Lo’ak had then explained that Ao’nung was picking on Kiri, calling her a freak. It made you frown while the sibling being spoken of was nowhere to be seen. You had been inspecting Lo’ak’s bruises since he came in the Marui with Neteyam, and Lo’ak was holding his arm.

You watched as Neteyam tried to take the blame again when Jake refused. You were about to wipe the blood from his nose when Lo’ak gently pushed you away, looking at you with a shake of his head. You then backed away, understanding.

“Go, apologize to Ao’nung.” Jake stared at his son. “What?” Lo’ak said, surprised.

“He’s the chief’s son, do you understand? I don’t care how you do it, just go. Make peace. And (Y/N), can you see where Kiri is?” Jake said to Lo’ak then to you.

You and Lo’ak stared at each other. You give him a soft glance as he sighed, nodding and walking out of the marui, then you followed outside to find where Kiri was.

Your worry began to grow when Lo’ak had not yet returned when it was almost eclipse. You finally had the nerve to go around and ask for his whereabouts, the first person you asked was Neteyam.

Walking out of your marui and onto the communal area, where you had stumbled upon a frantic-looking Neteyam. “Neteyam!” You shout over to him, and he spots you, jogging until he stopped in front of you.

“Have you seen Lo’ak?” He asked you first. Your brows furrowed, shaking your head. “I was about to ask you the same thing!”

Neteyam sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his head. “Where could that boy be.”

“I’m getting worried, Neteyam, he hasn’t returned yet.” You spoke.

Then as if on cue Ao’nung’s gang had passed, laughing their ass of as you were able to pick up on what they were saying, and it seemed like Neteyam did as well.

“I wish we stuck on more to see the look on his face!”

“Why didn’t you lead him even deeper down in the reefs, I heard there’s more scary creatures there.”

“Forest boy doesn’t even know what’s coming to him.”

Neteyam had acted first before you. He was already on Ao’nung, shoving his chest with anger evident in his features. “Where is my brother?”

Ao’nung looks at Neteyam, before he spots you taking the spot behind Neteyam, anger also evident on your face. Ao’nung smirks, shrugging. “I don’t know, maybe he’s past the reef, said he liked to go hunting with us. I guess he stayed back.” He said in a taunting voice.

Your eyes widened and you were about to make a move to fight the boy when Neteyam already did it for you, he shoves Ao’nung around, his hand immediately grabbing onto his hair, tightening his grip on it as Ao’nung grunted in pain, sudden fear overcoming him as he was held by his queue.

You hissed at Ao’nung as Neteyam held him in place. His friends were shocked before they scurried off after meeting your hiss towards them, not being the one next to be held by their queue.

Ao’nung has his hands up in surrender. Neteyam looks at you and he jerks his head towards the direction of your marui. “Let’s go.”

After a search party had been set out for Lo’ak, you and Neteyam waited in the communal area, your legs were bouncing in anxiety as torches had been lit around to make light in the dark.

Neteyam could sense your worry, he was too, but he offers you a hand on his shoulder, rubbing your back. The two of you had waited, every passing second felt like torture.

Then someone had sounded the horn.

“The boy has been found!”

Wasting no time, you stand upright with Neteyam following you as you hopped down onto the docks. The heavy weight on your chest disappearing once you see Lo’ak climbed on top.

You were about to approach him when he had that look of anger in his eyes directed at Ao’nung, he was about to launch at him when Jake had prevented him.

“He’s fine, he’s fine. It’s just a few scratches.” Jake said, making you sigh in relief as you moved forward, getting a clear view of him as Neytiri jumped down.

“I pray for the strength that I will not pluck the eyeballs out of my youngest son.” She snarled at Lo’ak, making Lo’ak shake his head, ignoring his mother.

“No, my son knows better than to take him outside the reef.” Tonowari, the olo’eyktan of the Metkayina spoke. “The blame is his.” He said, pushing his son, Ao’nung down on one knee.

You and Neteyam watch the whole scene play out.

“No, this is not Ao’nung’s fault. It was my idea.” Lo’ak then suddenly said, catching the two of you by surprise. “Ao’nung tried to talk me out of it. Really.”

After that whole ordeal was finished, you had decided to take Lo’ak to treat his wounds.

The following days had been a whirlwind of al sorts of things, good and bad. Ao’nung had finally made amends with the Sully family. You were still wary of him, but as time had passed, you also grew to like him as a friend. Now, all of you were spending the afternoon together, circled around as Lo’ak told the story of him coming across a tulkun.

“I wish I had been there. The ocean blessed you with a gift, brother.” Kiri said, smiling at Lo’ak while you sat beside him, listening.

“The tulkun have not returned yet, and- anyway, no tulkun is ever alone.” Ao’nung said, gesturing.

“Well, this one was,” Lo’ak started. “He had uh- um a missing fin. Like a stump on the left side.”

“Poor Tulkun.” You could hear Tuk say before Tsireya spoke. “Payakan. It’s Payakan.”

You tilted your head, looking at Tsireya. “Who’s Payakan?” You asked her.

Rotxo was the one to answer. “A young tulkun who went rogue. He is outcast, alone, and he has a missing fin.”

“They say he is a killer.” Tsireya told all of you.

“No.” Lo’ak muttered. “He killed Na’vi and other tulkun.” Ao’nung said, looking at Lo’ak. “Not here, but far to the south.

“No, he’s no killer.” Lo’ak looked down. “Lo’ak you are lucky to be alive.” Tsireya said.

“I’m telling you guys; he saved my life!” Lo’ak turned to you, hoping you’ll believe him as he held your hand. “He’s my friend.”

“My baby bro.” Neteyam piped up, standing behind him to place his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders. “The mighty warrior, who faced the killer tulkun, and lived to tell about it.”

Lo’ak grunted in frustration, standing up, letting go of your hand. “You guys aren’t listening.” He said, he spares one last glance at you before he was walking away.

“Lo’ak!” You called out to him, but he was already gone.

The next few days, Lo’ak had been spending more time with Payakan rather than with you, or his family. It made you miss him, of course. But there was nothing you could do as you knew Lo’ak could be quite stubborn himself. So you had busied yourself with the others, including Tsireya.

You had just reached the surface, holding onto your ilu as Tsireya smiles back at everyone. “We are here.”

You moved forward to see the absolute breath-taking view you’ve ever seen. You feel a smile creep up to your face as you breathed out “Wow.”

“This is the cove of the ancestors.” Tsireya spoke, out from the corner of your eye you could see Rotxo smiling at your reactions. “Our most sacred place.”

“Eclipse is the best time of day to be here.” Tsireya explained as you hid your face using your hand from the blinding light. Tsireya urged you all to move forward, before stopping as she extended her hand out. “This is it; this is The Spirit Tree.”

Hopping off your ilu and diving down, you were met with The Spirit Tree. Your eyes widen as you inspect it. You were beside Neteyam and Tuk while Rotxo signalled for you to attach your queue towards it. You three looked at each other, before you were grabbing onto your queue, softly placing it against the tendril.

Your mouth formed a small ‘o’ as you were overcame with the voices of their ancestors. You smiled along with Neteyam and Tuk. It truly was a beautiful thing to hear and see.

But all of that would end as the Spirit Tree begins flashing, making you look around to find Kiri’s body spasming underwater. Taking off your tsaheylu, you nudged Neteyam and pointed at her.

All of you swam towards her, both you and Neteyam grabbing a hold of either arm of hers as you swam her back up to the surface.

Neteyam lifts Kiri’s faint body on the ilu while you surround them. “Kiri!” You tried shaking her, but it was no use. “What’s wrong? What is it?!” Tuk asks, alarmed. “It was a seizure.” Neteyam answered, providing her CPR.

“Is she breathing?” Rotxo asked as you had the idea of gathering the ilu already. Once you hear Kiri’s gasp of breath, Tsireya spoke up. “Get her back to the village!”

Kiri was still unconscious and that led Jake to call on Norm and max to check upon her. It seems like Neytiri also had the same idea as she brings Ronal, the tsahik of the Metkayina towards their Marui.

You, Neteyam, and Lo’ak were stood outside, giving them room. But you couldn’t help but question Lo’ak.

“Where were you?” You asked Lo’ak as he stared at the ground. Neteyam could sense an argument coming just from the tone of your voice, he knew better than to interfere, letting you talk to his own brother as he excused himself to go inside the marui to check upon Kiri.

Lo’ak doesn’t answer. “Lo’ak.” You spoke. “Were you out looking for Payakan again?” You questioned. “I was, so what?” Lo’ak finally snapped, looking at you and standing straight, making you look up at him.

That didn’t deter you. “Lo’ak, you’re no longer spending time with us, you’re always out there!” You say, pointing towards the ocean. “You forget you have a family back here; you forget that you have me here.” You said, frowning at him. “Something worse could’ve happened to Kiri and what- you’re out there bonding with an outcast!”

You didn’t mean the words you said, and you rarely ever argued with Lo’ak. You tried to understand him, but he needed to understand you too. Lo’ak sneers at you, shaking his head “I thought you’d understand.” He said before walking off. “Lo’ak, Lo’ak!” You called out to him.

The tensions grew after a few days of not speaking to him, but Lo’ak seemed to get things together as he finally ended up apologizing to you one day as you were wrapping food. You forgave him, saying that he needed to understand where you were coming from. He realized it.

Your relationship with Lo’ak, even if it did sometimes cause arguments, it always ended up with you opening up to each other about what he or you did, or what he and you didn’t like. You were happy you got it sorted out, you didn’t want to be another thing that Lo’ak stressed about. You wanted to be there for him.

But one day, it surprised you when the horn sounded, and you could hear Tsireya’s voice. You, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Tuk raced out the marui, wondering what was going on.

“The tulkuns have returned! Everybody! Our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya waves. Then all of you stood mesmerised as groups of tulkun had entered. Your smile widened as the people raced to jump out in the water with cheers.

You gasp, looking at Lo’ak before grabbing his hand, tugging him towards the ocean. “Let’s go!”

You ended up riding on Lo’ak’s ilu behind him, an arm wrapped around him as you pointed at the many tulkun underwater. Lo’ak followed your gaze as he drove his ilu. His hand carefully placed on your thigh so you don’t fall off. He occasionally taps it to make you look where he was looking at.

You smile, seeing the Metkayina greet their brothers and sisters, making you appreciate the beauty of it all as you lay your head on Lo’ak’s shoulder. You even spot his siblings holding onto the fins of the tulkun as they swam around.

But alas, all good things must come to an end.

One day, Tsireya and the others, including you, had decided to follow Lo’ak on one of his trips to Payakan.

You swam closer until Tsireya stops you, holding onto a stem to steady yourself.

There he was, the love of your life, Lo’ak, in front of who you deemed was Payakan as you got a good glance of his stump on his fin. You watched as the tulkun, or Payakan, open his mouth widely, making you furrow your eyebrows and look at Lo’ak.

You saw him contemplating, making you question if he was really going to go in there.

He did. You watched him as he swam inside Payakan’s mouth.

The next seconds made your heart spike. Payakan closed its mouth, completely swallowing Lo’ak whole. You and Neteyam were just about to go over him when Ao’nung held you back, as with Tsireya and Neteyam. You looked at Ao’nung and he signed ‘Wait’.

You look at him, shaking your head, wanting to go but his firm hold doesn’t make you budge. You look over at Neteyam, making him shrug. You could tell he also wanted to go to his brother.

But when Lo’ak comes out from Payakan, still in one piece, it made you relieved. But then that led to Lo’ak seeing all of you.

Unfortunately, that also led to unfortunate events as the other Metkayina hunters had spotted you outside the reef. Then it led to a lecturing by Tonowari and Ronal, furthermore, having Jake hover over Lo’ak and his actions.

But that wasn’t all, you had received the news that Ronal’s spirit sister, had been hunted and left floating in the ocean. This had angered the Metkayina, now pushing them to engage in Jake’s war.

“My spirit sister, and her baby have been murdered by Sky People!” Ronal shouted.

“This war has come to us. We knew about this hunting of our tulkun people, but it was over the horizon far away!” Tonowari said. “Now it is here!”

You frowned then felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking to the side it was Lo’ak. You hugged his side as Jake’s voice intervened. “You gotta understand how the Sky People think! They don’t care about the great balance.”

That only let the Metkayina exclaim out in anger as Neteyam spoke. “Listen, listen to him!”

“The Sky people are not gonna stop. This is only the beginning. You gotta tell your tulkun to leave, you gotta tell them to go far away!” Jake explained.

“Leave?” Ronal spat back at him. “You live among us, and you learned nothing!” Her voice breaking sends you to grip a little tighter against Lo’ak.

“We will fight to protect our brothers and sisters!” A Metkayina warrior announced, earning the praise of people as they agreed. Jake shakes his head, “If you attack, if you fight, then they will destroy you! They will destroy everything that you love!” Jake shouted. You breathed out, looking back at Lo’ak to find him looking at his father.

The people wouldn’t listen as Jake began to get frustrated. He looks for something and plucks it out of Neteyam’s grip and he presents it to the people. You tilt your head, seeing a needle-like object covered in red. You stared at it. Then silence came.

“You tell the tulkun, if they are hit by one of these they’re marked for death… call for me. I’ll silence it… saving their lives, that’s all that matters, right? Saving your family.” Jake finished.

Tonowari and Ronal looked at each other before the decision has been made. “Tell the tulkun. Go.”

Everyone had scurried away, and you could feel Lo’ak slipping from your grip as he turns around. “Lo’ak!” You called out, that gathered the attention of Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Rotxo, Ao’nung, and Neteyam as they followed you.

“Lo’ak, what are you doing?” You asked him as he placed the saddle on his ilu. “I have to warn Payakan.”

“No, Lo’ak, you’ve got to stay here.” You said sternly at him. Lo’ak shakes his head. “He is outcast. There is nobody to warn him but me!” Lo’ak defended.

Then came the footsteps of the others, Neteyam stepping right beside you as the others watched.

“Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said. Lo’ak then glared at his brother, sneering.

“No, you mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you?! The perfect little soldier- well I’m not you!” Lo’ak shouted at him.

“Lo’ak!” You scolded, looking between him and Neteyam. Neteyam exhales, frowning at his brother.

“I’m not you! Okay? He’s my brother. I’m going!” Lo’ak said.

“No, I’m your brother.” Neteyam said, gripping Lo’ak’s arm. “Get off me!” Lo’ak said jerking his arm away from Neteyam’s grip to jump on his ilu. You gasp, “Lo’ak!”

“Go, go, let’s go, he’s going to Payakan!” Neteyam pats you on the shoulder as the others nodded. You called for your ilu before jumping and making tsaheylu.

“Come back, Lo’ak!” You begged. Lo’ak doesn’t look back as he dives in the water, speeding up. The rest of you followed as you tried to fight the heavy feeling in your heart.

Reaching Payakan, you had seen Lo’ak pulling out the same tracker that Jake held earlier. Your eyes widened as you tried helping Lo’ak pull it off. “Hurry, the ships are coming! They’re over there!”

You tried to pull but it wasn’t budging. “Call dad, go! Just go, do it!” Neteyam shouted at Lo’ak. Lo’ak follows, trying to contact his father as the four of you tried to pull the tracker out of Payakan.

“It’s getting closer!” Tsireya exclaimed as you tried pulling harder, grunting. “I know!” You said, quickly diving down underwater to grab a vine, tugging it and swimming to the surface, you hand it over to them.

“Here! Ao’nung, Neteyam!” You shout. They quickly got the idea as you tied the other end of the vine to your ilu. “Go, go, go!” Ao’nung said as you mounted your ilu, commanding it to pull as hard as it can as you scream.

“Pull! Harder!” Tsireya shouted as you tried. Then it finally gives up as it was finally removed.

You tug the vine, reaching the tracker as you held it in your hands. “Go! Go with them, I’ll hold them off!” You shout. Lo’ak looks at you with uncertainty in his eyes as the others moved quickly. “Go!” You shouted at him with a hard gaze.

He nods slowly before catching up with the others. You tried to move as farther as you can, holding the tracker in your hand as you dove in. But a shockwave near you almost dismounts you from your ilu, but you kept going. Once you had deemed it was far enough, you let go, letting it drop to the ocean floor.

Now your problem was going back to them. To Lo’ak.

Your eyes scanned everywhere for any sign of them, but you couldn’t find anything. You moved up to the surface just in time for you to see two banshees carrying a net that held Tsireya and Tuk on the inside, while Lo’ak was fighting to get them out from the outside.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed. You then had to look for Neteyam, hoping he wasn’t captured as well. Then you heard the wailing of the people arriving on their skimwings. You bit your lip, looking around. Your breathing ragged as you prepared to let your ilu move. But something appeared from beside you, making you gasp but it was only Neteyam. “Shh!” He said, placing a hand on your mouth. He then lets you go when you calmed down. “Neteyam, they- they’ve got them.” You spoke. “I know. I saw.” Neteyam sighs, thinking of a way to get his siblings back. “We try to-“ Neteyam was cut off as you saw Payakan in the distance launch himself onto the ship.

“Holy shit!” Neteyam exclaimed. You then saw a bunch of boats headed at Payakan.

“That’s us, let’s go, let’s go!” Neteyam said to you as his ilu raced to the demon ship. You follow, racing beside him.

You watched as the war waged on between the Metkayina and the Sky People. Then you saw the demon ship caught on fire as it began moving in full speed towards a rock, launching itself up in the air before landing against it, slowing down to a halt.

“Follow me, alright!?” Neteyam looks back at you. You nodded frantically as you watched him dive, tagging along as you steered your ilu underwater.

Then Neteyam charges upwards, hopping off his ilu and he climbs up towards the ship, you copied his movements, landing on the ship with a loud thud.

“Neteyam! (Y/N)!” Tuk exclaimed in joy. “(Y/N)!” Lo’ak said in surprise, looking at you. “Hey there baby brother, need some help?” Neteyam chuckles as you cut off the bands of Tsireya, then Tuk with your own dagger.

Neteyam was left with Lo’ak. “Get Tuk out of here, Reya.” You said to her, patting her back as she nods, taking Tuk’s hand before jumping in the water. You then waited for Neteyam to free Lo’ak.

“Who’s the mighty warrior, hm? Come on, say it!” Neteyam teased Lo’ak who rolled his eyes, he was now cut free. You sigh in relief as you ran to embrace him as his arms wrapped around you tightly.

Resting your head on his chest as Lo’ak kisses the crown of your head.

“Come on, let’s go you two, move!” Neteyam said, chuckling. You pulled away from the hug with a chuckle. As you were about to jump off with Neteyam, that’s when Lo’ak stopped in his tracks and goes the other way, making the two of you look at him.

“Lo’ak!” Both of you shout. He picks up a rifle on the ground, cocking it. “They’ve got Spider. We’ve gotta get him, come on.” Lo’ak said, looking at the two of you. “Come on, (Y/N)?” Lo’ak looks at you when Neteyam doesn’t respond. As far as you knew, Spider was Lo’ak’s brother too, even if he was human.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.” You said, nodding. Neteyam smacks his fist on the ground before following the two of you.

Sneaking in the ship wasn’t easy, there were a lot of humans evacuating as their urgent voices filled the ship. You, Lo’ak, and Neteyam used your skills in climbing to climb upon the metal ceilings of the ship.

Then you spot the group of humans who were escorting Spider as you silently landed on a platform, sending a signal to the two of them, pointing down. You waited until you strike.

Jumping down on the ground you stuck your dagger in one, before grabbing one and flinging him to the side on the wall as Neteyam dealt with the others. You had grabbed another one and flung them out the edge, letting them fall in the ocean. Lo’ak grabs a gun, this time as he turns around, he spots another one gaining consciousness, reaching for the gun and aiming to shoot at you.

Lo’ak had acted before he thought, finger curling around on the trigger, sending bullets flying towards the human and upwards the ceiling until he lets go, the human falling limp on the ground. You flinched at the sound, turning to see Lo’ak holding a gun and the human in front of him dead. Lo’ak stared down at the human, then at his gun.

Neteyam and Spider looked before hurrying to leave. “Let’s go.” You hold Lo’ak’s hand, grounding him for a moment as he nods, running over towards the open water.

But before you could leave, one of them had already spotted you, leading you to be pushed to the side as bullets were fired. “Go! go!” All of you huddled against a corner.

“Give me that!” Neteyam snatches the gun from Lo’ak’s hand before firing at the enemy. “Go go go!” Neteyam still fired at them while Lo’ak and Spider took the opportunity to sprint and jump in the water. Due to your sudden fear creeping up in your veins, you had lagged behind.

“(Y/N), go!” Neteyam shouted at you, but you knew better you weren’t leaving Lo’ak’s brother. You knew how much Neteyam meant to Lo’ak.

Once they had stopped firing, you grabbed Neteyam with all your might, pushing and making him jump into the water as you joined him behind as another round of bullets were fired.

Jumping in the water with them, you swam under the ship before you reached the surface outside, gasping for air. “Woah! That was insane!” Lo’ak laughed, high-fiving Spider as Neteyam laughed with them.

“You are such a skxawng, brother!” Neteyam said.

You laughed with them, seeing Tsireya approach you with her ilu out from the corner of your eye. “Come on.”

“(Y/N), let’s go!” Lo’ak looked at you with a smile while Spider and Neteyam grabbed onto the ilu.

You still held a wide smile, until it quickly faded.

A sharp searing pain suddenly burrowed its way into your chest, crawling all over your torso like you were on fire from the inside. Your brows furrowed as you gasp, hand reaching over to your chest, the pressure of your finger touching the wound only adding more fuel to the fire inside of you. “Huh...” You breathed out. Tsireya, Spider, and Neteyam look over to you as what happened finally registered in Lo’ak’s brain as he saw your expression drop.

You were shot.

“Shit!” He exclaimed as he pulls you close towards him, with Neteyam helping out. You could feel them helping you up, but the burning sensation was still there as you didn’t know what was happening. “Keep her up, keep her up!” Lo’ak shouted as you felt yourself being submerged under water then you were raised up to the surface. You glanced up and was met with the ilu as you wrapped your arm around it. You were then finally hoisted upon the ilu, you figured.

You gasped again, feeling the air hit you. “Hold her up!” Lo’ak said as Neteyam pulled you up against him as your head hung low as you tried to focus on breathing. You wanted to breathe, but why was it so painful? You looked up, your vision slowly spinning. Lo’ak goes in front of you, manoeuvring the ilu.

“I got you; I got you, alright (Y/N)?” Lo’ak said, trying to find a shore he can land you on. You held your hand against your chest, retracting to find blood covering your whole palm. Your blood. You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn’t know what was happening around you and Lo’ak could only try so hard not to panic. The love of his life had just got shot. You had just got shot.

“Dad! Dad! Help! It’s (Y/N)!” Lo’ak screamed at his father. Jake hurried over as Neteyam carefully held you with Lo’ak. “It’s (Y/N), she’s hurt. Dad-“ Lo’ak explained.

You gasped and gasped, coughing as more blood seeped out from your wound. Then you found yourself being laid down, somewhere. You didn’t know. You looked to the side and saw Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak…” You gasped out. “(Y/N), (Y/N) stay still alright? We’ve got you, I’m here.” Lo’ak looked panic-stricken, Neteyam looked at his brother when Jake turned you to your side, then both Jake and Neteyam’s eyes spot the continuous blood leaking down from the exit wound on your back as you coughed out.

Jake turns you back, a knowing look on his face as he and Neteyam glanced at each other. Jake then looks at his youngest son. “Pressure, pressure! Keep pressure on it!” Jake said, placing Lo’ak’s hand on your gunshot wound. Jake seeing you in this state felt like he was losing a child of his own as your young eyes glanced everywhere.

Lo’ak pressed his hands further down your chest, making you scream out, but all that came out was sharp gasps as you tried to pry his hands away, it was too painful. You couldn’t take it. “N- No, s-stop. Stop it- p-please.” You gasp out. “No, no (Y/N). We have to keep this on here, alright, kid? Yeah? Stay with us.” Jake said. Lo’ak’s heart pounded in his chest and in his ears. It was deafening as he looks at you.

Neytiri then arrives, seeing the scene in front of her makes her rush towards you. “(Y/N)…(Y/N)!” Neytiri shouted. Neteyam looks at his mother then at you. “She- she’s been shot.” Neteyam explained.

Your chest heaved with every pressure Lo’ak kept on you, you were gripping onto his arm with the strength you have left, but it feels like every ounce of your energy was being pulled out of you.

Lo’ak’s other hand goes up to your cheek as he gulps down the lump in his throat. “(Y/N), look at me… look at me, please.” Lo’ak begged and you followed him, looking at him, your mouth agape as you still tried to catch your breath. “I- I-“ You gasp, frowning as the pain was beginning to become unbearable.

You glanced around to find yourself surrounded by the Sully family, including Tsireya, who was sobbing.

“Lo’ak, I- I don’t know what’s happening… what’s happening?” You asked urgently, tears rolling down the side of your face as you are looking around you, soon training your eyes on Lo’ak.

“W-w- what’s happening, Lo’ak?”

“Hey, hey, you’re fine, we’re going to get you some help, baby, okay? Stay with me, please, just- just keep your eyes open for me, don’t sleep, don’t sleep.” Lo’ak said, stroking your cheek. Neteyam rubbed at your arm as your chest rose and fell rapidly.

You nodded, trying to keep your eyes open for Lo’ak. For him. You could make it, for him. You were going to make it for him. You will try.

You gasp, forcing a smile your face as you reached your hand up to Lo’ak’s cheek, him instinctively leaning into your touch, Neteyam’s hands replacing the pressure on your chest as Lo’ak held your hand in his as he finally sobbed, voice breaking.

“Lo’ak..look- look at me.” You gasp out loud. Lo’ak shakes his head no. “No, no…” Lo’ak closes his eyes, afraid to open them to find you laying there, with your blood coating his hands. You look at the others, who were trying their best to keep you alive, then back at Lo’ak as you feared you were running out of the energy you had left. “Look at me..” You managed to speak calmly, finally making Lo’ak look at you, rubbing his eyes so he could see you clearly.

“G-good person, okay?” You start, your hands moving to his hands to grasp his pinky. “You are a good person… d-don’t forget.” You smile at him through blurred vision. You then coughed, still trying to catch your breath as you could taste your blood accumulating in your throat, making your words gargled. You push through as blood seeped out from the corner of your mouth due to you facing him. Then with the last bit of energy you had left, you spoke your last words as you had finally made peace with what was about to happen.

“I-I see you, Lo’ak.”

Lo’ak’s heart drops as your hand fell limp on his, your eyes who stared back at him slowly became distant as the life had been drained from you along with your smile. Lo’ak then had a blank look on his face as he started to shake his head, using his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the blood away on your lip using his thumb.

“No... Hey.. (Y/N)… don’t do this to me (Y/N)… (Y/N)! Don’t do this to me, come on please, hey.” Lo’ak shouted, now trying to shake you awake as your hand fell limp beside you. “No no, wake up, wake up, wake up.” Lo’ak said, trying to shake you awake again before grabbing your hand and placing it against his chest.

“Wake up.” He whispers, squeezing your hand, yet you didn’t squeeze back. Jake stared at you, then at his son as his heart felt like it was being torn apart. Neytiri had stared before she cried out a scream of agony, clinging against Jake.

Neteyam looked at your lifeless form. He slowly retrieved his hands from your chest, looking at them, palms smeared with your blood. He frowns, dropping and leaning against his dad as he allowed himself to silently cry for you. Tsireya shakes her head, holding onto your legs, trying to shake them, hoping that you would still respond as sobs wracked her body. Spider stared at you, gulping as his tears still came out, feeling sorry for his brother.

Lo’ak looks up at the sky, almost wanting to curse every being that took you from him. You didn’t deserve this. Lo’ak fights with himself to look at you once more. His eyes meeting your face, pale and blank. Lo’ak shakes his head, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault, I’m sorry. I’m so-“ Sobs were ripped out from him as he cried onto you, lifting your limp body up his arms as he hugged you. All he felt was your lifeless form, as he was taken back to the times you’d respond with hugging him back.

Lo’ak swallows down another lump down his throat as he shakily presses a kiss towards your forehead.

He had lost you, his life. The one who truly understood him. The one who eased his worry and pain ever since he could remember, now being the one who caused it tenfold. He wanted to scream, he wanted to go berserk.

Lo’ak still hugged your lifeless body against his, forehead leaned against your cheek as he muttered apologies.

“I’m sorry.”

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wolfjackle-creates · 2 months

Text

Bring Me Home Arc 3 Part 3

Again the winner of last week's poll! There won't be a poll this week because I'm planning something a bit different. I hit 1000 followers this past week and have been wracking my brain about how to celebrate! Wasn't up for doing prompts or adding more projects to my list, though, so I didn't want to go that route.

But I did come up with something that I think everyone will really enjoy. Especially those of you who have been voting for Carry Your Heart (I see you in the tags!). So look out for that post.

In addition, I've just posted the first chapter of Arc 2 on AO3! Link below.

Story Summary: Jack and Maddie install a new ghost shield on the house which activates the moment Danny tries to step into his home. His secret is out and his parents are determined to excise the ghost from their son.

Luckily Danny isn't alone. The Young Justice, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz aren't going to leave him to suffer.

Arc 1: AO3

Arc 2: AO3 (incomplete); Tumblr - First, Final

Arc 3: First, Previous

Word Count: 1.4k

-----

Fire rushing through him jolted Danny awake. His back arched as he cried out. He screwed his eyes tight, not wanting to see what torture his parents were going to come at him with next when he realized what the sound of his cry meant: the muzzle was gone.

As were the restraints. And he was lying on something soft. Trying hard not to hope, he opened his eyes.

Sam and Jazz were leaning over him, concern clear on their faces. They were in some sort of ambulance or van.

“How are you feeling,” demanded Sam.

Danny took a moment to answer, his chest was pure agony. He didn’t even want to think what it would feel like to sit up. And even past that, everything was sore. Though the fire that had woken him up had dissipated, the tell-tale feel of ecto-dejecto. “Pretty much the worst I’ve ever felt,” he answered honestly.

Sam and Jazz both winced and his sister grabbed his hand. He squeezed her fingers weakly.

At the foot of his bed stood Tim in full Red Robin getup and Kon as Superboy.

He couldn’t hold back the smile as he met Tim’s gaze. “You came,” he said.

Tim didn’t smile back, but some tension eased out of his shoulders. “I always will,” he said. “Been telling you that since we were ten years old.”

“I know. I’ve always known. Thank you.”

Jazz squeezed his hand again and he looked at her. “Red Robin and Superboy are going to take you away from here. Robin will help you recover.”

Sam nodded. “Yep. And the rest of us are gonna focus on making sure Amity is safe for ghosts once and for all.”

Danny shook his head. “I should be there with you guys, fighting.”

“Nope!” interrupted Jazz. “Not even a little. You’re going to focus on getting better, got it, Danny? That’s all we want from you.”

“But the ghosts—”

Sam covered his mouth with her hand. “Stop it right there. Tucker is working with Impulse and Wonder Girl to get the portal locked up. No one will be coming through. No one—ghost or human—will be in any danger while you’re gone. I promise.”

Danny slumped into the bed. Even the slight change in position caused waves of pain to radiate from his chest even through the healing ice he could feel implanted in his body. He whimpered and closed his eyes until the throbbing receded just a bit. “I trust you. I do, it’s just…”

“You’re used to taking care of everyone,” finished Jazz for him. “We know. So let us take care of you for a change. We love you, Danny.”

“Love you, too, Jazz. Sam.”

“Be good for bird-brain there, got it?” ordered Sam.

Danny gave her a half-smile. “Are Tim and I ever good together?”

She laughed. “Well, don’t burn down Gotham, capiche?”

“Capiche.”

“We have to go now,” said Jazz.

Danny gripped her hand tighter. “Don’t leave me.”

Jazz winced, but leaned down to kiss his forehead. “We need to make sure the Guys in White aren’t going to get involved further. And you need to get someplace safe.”

Danny huffed a half laugh. “Gotham is safe?”

Jazz rolled her eyes at his poor attempt at a joke. “For you it is. Now, I’m leaving Red and Superboy with a case full of ectoplasm for you and our entire supply of ecto-dejecto. I just gave you your first injection. Please try and eat something and drink your ectoplasm regularly.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Jazz.”

Jazz sniffed and it was only then that Danny realized it was wetter than usual and her eyes were watery. He tried not to feel bad for his jokes when she replied, “Yes, it is whatever I say. Glad you agree.”

Sam cackled, and now that he was paying attention, Danny could hear the hysterical edge to it. “You’d better text us multiple times a day, ghost boy. Don’t try and lie to us, either. Kon’ll tell me the truth about your condition. And as soon as we can arrange it, we’re coming out your way for a visit.”

“Course I will, Sam. Give Tuck my best?”

“Duh. He wishes he could’ve come with us, you know.”

Danny nodded. “But he’s better with the tech stuff and that is just as time sensitive.”

“Yeah. Now, get some sleep,” Sam ordered. “You’ve got a long drive ahead of you.”

Danny gave the rote answer after too many all-nighters taking care of ghost attacks before school, “I’m dead, I don’t need sleep.”

His sister squeezed his hand. “Ghosts who just went through what you did need their sleep. Love you, Danny. Get well and I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you, Jazz.”

She kissed his forehead one more time, followed by Sam. And with another two rounds of farewells and love yous, he was alone with Tim and Kon.

“Thanks for coming,” he said again.

“Obviously we weren’t going to leave you there,” said Kon. “Being a lab subject isn’t fun. Especially not that kinda lab experiment.”

Danny couldn’t quite hold back the flinch at that description. It was accurate, but blunt.

Tim walked over until he was sitting by Danny’s bed. “Just listen to Jazz and get some rest. We’re going to be taking the long route to Gotham by going south to start. If we stop for food in a few hours, think you could handle a smoothie?”

Danny shrugged and bit back a yawn. “Could try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Kon moved towards the front of the vehicle as well. “Looks like it’s time for us to skedaddle. I’ll keep the road from jostling you, ghost-boy.”

Danny gave a small smile and let his eyes close. As he did, he tried to mumble his thanks and he hoped it came across.

---

The next time he woke was more gentle. Someone was tapping on his shoulder and calling his name. But even so, as he was pulled closer to awareness, the pain made itself more and more known. He tried to cling to the darkness, but the tapping wasn’t stopping, nor was the person calling him.

He blinked open his eyes to see Tim’s concerned face. He wasn’t wearing the domino anymore, or his costume. Just a sweatshirt and jeans.

“Hey, Danny,” said Tim. “I’m going to need you to try and eat a bit right now. Kon got us those smoothies I mentioned. I’ve also got yogurt if that’ll be easier for you. But the smoothie will have more nutrients.”

Danny closed his eyes. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat. Why did Tim have to bring him back to consciousness for this? He hurt and just wanted to sink back into oblivion.

The tapping on his shoulder began again. “I know, Danny. But you have to eat something. And you should take some ectoplasm, too. So just stay awake for a few minutes.”

“Mm ‘wake,” said Danny without opening his eyes. He shifted his weight, hoping to push himself up to eat, only to scream in pain as his chest protested any movement.

“Shit! Don’t move,” said Tim too late. “I’ve got a spoon here. I’ll feed it to you, okay? So just stay exactly where you are.”

Danny gripped his sheets, unable to do anything else as wave after wave of pain over took him. Tim kept up a litany of reassurances and stroked his hair. Eventually, Danny was able to think past it again.

“Don’t think I can sit up,” said Danny.

“Of course not,” agreed Tim. He held a styrofoam cup between his knees and carefully took off the lid and straw. “Just let me. Take at least a few bites. Swallow as is, don’t try and chew. Just do what you can, okay?”

“Okay,” agreed Danny and Tim fed him the first bite.

Danny hated this. Hated it so much. Here he was being spoon fed like a baby all because his parents… He shut his eyes and took the next bite. He wasn’t going to finish that thought. Tim was here and that’s what mattered.

Danny wasn’t sure how much he ate, but it couldn’t have been much. His eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and the pull of oblivion stronger.

“Wait, Danny. Stay awake just a little longer, okay?”

Danny groaned but forced his eyes open again.

Tim showed him a bottle of ectoplasm. “Just a few swallows of this, too. Okay?”

He didn’t want to. He’d rather just go to sleep again, but he opened his mouth obediently. By the time he finished his third spoonful, he couldn’t fight it anymore and slumped into the bed. The pain receded back into blackness for a time.

-----

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Danny is going to be getting all the comfort throughout this. All of them will, tbh. Because no one is happy and they all need a hug or five.

Let me know what you think!

#dpxdc #danny fenton #tim drake #jazz fenton #sam manson #aftermath of torture #fleeing to safety #sam tucker and jazz will manage things in amity #and the justice league will be getting involved

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ametrictonofaudacity · 1 year

Note

yandere platonic supes I am BEGGIBG, there’s not enough yandere platonic Superman I am starved for content, blease

Yes absolutely!!! I am also starved for Yan platonic Superman, so we would get along well!!

Shout out to @blughxreader and @anxiousnerdwritings for so much of my inspiration, and if you like yandere dc works, you should check them out!!

Yandere Platonic Superman x GN! Reader

Warning: This is a yandere work, and as such, has themes of obsession and captivity! Because this is Superman, it’s a much milder work than usual!

“Hey! How was your day?” Warm, almost inhumanly hot, arms, wrap you up into a tight hug, and you blink in shock. You hadn’t even heard him get home, much less approach, and although it makes your heart race, you feel your nerves begin to settle.

“Good! I got to work on the garden I’ve been wanting to start.” You motion to the freshly filled earth, the hard dirt clods having been broken up. “Still have to mix the gardening soil in, and the fertilizer.”

“You did really good! I think we should head inside though, you’re starting to look a little parched.” You sigh, but nod, brushing the sweaty hair out of your face. Mr. Kent beams, stepping back from the hug, ruffling your hair gently. You try to ignore the way your heart leaps into your throat, or his concerned glance.

“So what about you? How’d your day go?” You mumble, trekking up to the tiny farm house in the distance. Mr.Kent keeps pace easily, the wind tugging gently on his red cape.

“It was good! There wasn’t much for me to do today, although one of the supports on the Golden Gate Bridge gave out. Me and few other heroes got that sorted fairly quickly, and no one got hurt.” You knew, logically, that he accomplished more in one day than teams upon teams of first responders could ever manage in a week, but being confronted with the knowledge caused a strange sort of dissonance. He had always just been Mr. Kent. Nice, a bit clumsy, willing to help you and your folks when you needed it. Always wearing a button up or sometimes a flannel when he visited, with the strange sort of softness to his accent that you knew happened when someone moved to the city. You hadn’t known him well, but had been close enough to invite him for Thanksgiving when you had heard he wasn’t spending it with his family.

Maybe that was your mistake. Maybe you wouldn’t be here, on a plot of land in the middle of nowhere, if you had just let him stay lonely.

You blink when you realize the farmhouse is much closer.

“I’ll get changed and make us some dinner, okay?” A hand smooths over your hair, and you smile. If he was cooking dinner, that meant you had time to shower, and get the dirt and grime off you.

“Okay.” You murmur, and he beams, the screen door closing behind the both of you. “I’m not allowed to use the stove anyways.” You mutter after him. You know he hears you, but he doesn’t respond, the door to his room closing behind him.

You take your time showering, and changing into the soft, clean pajamas that he had bought you so long ago they were beginning to wear, and gray at the cuffs. He would wait for you to eat, you knew, and he never pestered you unless he was worried about your safety. Which was pretty often, admittedly, but he had been getting better about not constantly fretting.

“Hey, kiddo! I made your favorite.” He grins, and the smell of warm food drifts up, making your stomach growl hungrily. He presses the plate into your hands. “Figured we could do something special, since today’s such a special day.”

You frown, tilting your head, even as you tried to remember. There weren’t any calendars in the house, and the only passing of time you were aware of most times was the rising of the sun.

“It is?” You question, taking a bite of your food. It melts on your tongue, and you glance at the rest of the house, frowning.

Your stomach drops when you realize. There’s four perfectly wrapped presents on the small coffee table in front of the couch, and a cake from your favorite bakery. There’s also a pie, which you know was made by Ma Kent.

You look back. Mr. Kent looks almost sad, and when he speaks, his voice is gentle, sympathetic.

“It’s your birthday, kiddo. I was thinking, since you’ve been so good lately, we could do something special.”

“Like what?” Your voice cracks, but he doesn’t say anything. You don’t know if your grateful or not.

“Well, I know you’ve been working really hard in that garden of yours. And since you’ve been so good lately, I was thinking we could go to visit a greenhouse! Spend a couple days out and about, so you can get out of the farmhouse every once and while.”

You stare. You hadn’t been allowed off the property in.. months. Five, nearly six. The prospect was exhilarating. And terrifying.

“Really?! When are we going?” You try not to sound to excited, but you must fail, because he chuckles.

“Easy there, slow your roll. We’ll be going at the end of the week. Now, finish your food so we can open presents, yeah?”

The food is tasteless after that. It’s good, sure, but that pales in comparison to how your heart hammers with adrenaline and excitement. You were finally, finally getting off the property! And if you couldn’t escape then, you could escape later, and maybe even go home.

Soon, you’re both finished eating, and he herds you to the couch, pulling out a camera from its case. It’s an expensive digital one, the one you know he used for work.

“You know you can just use your phone camera, right?” You point out, and he chuckles.

“Call me old fashioned. Let me get it set up, and then cake and presents.” It takes him less than a minute to set it up, the motions experienced and practiced. “You ready?”

You nod. He lights the candles on the small bakery cake.

It’s the strangest birthday you’ve ever had. Mr. Kent is the only one singing the birthday song, and you’ve always had a large family with a lot of siblings. When you blow out the candles, he doesn’t let you eat the frosting off them, instead plucking them off and setting them on a ceramic plate.

Your presents are odd, too. You were used to useless, impartial presents. This wasn’t that. He had gotten you the dvd copy of your favorite TV series, a set of hardback books, a new outfit, and a telescope, all neatly wrapped in blue wrapping paper.

“The outfit is for when we go out.” He explains, watching as you unfold the blue button up. “We’re going to be visiting Lois, so I figured you would want to look nice.”

Your heart skitters in your chest, unsure. You hadn’t met Ms. Lane yet, he had always insisted you weren’t ready, but now not only were you leaving the property but you would also be meeting his wife.

“I do. Thank you.” You finally murmur, and he wraps you up into another hug, holding you a moment longer than he usually did.

“Of course. Why don’t you try some of your cake and I’ll clean this up, yeah?”

You watch as he cleans up, nibbling on the sweet treat, and when he is finally done, he sets aside all of your presents, putting in the dvd. You shift on the couch, used to this old routine, and when he sits on the couch, curl up next to him, letting him wrap his arms around you and bury his nose in your hair with a smile.

456 notes · View notes

heartkyeom · 2 years

Text

fine line

figure skater!joshua hong x f!reader

synopsis: as a joshua fangirl, getting the chance to interview him as a teenager was an absolute dream. 10 years later with a flourishing career as a writer and a strained relationship with him, he wants to do a 10 year reunion interview about his path to the upcoming Olympics. there’s only one problem: you’re staying at his house and trying not to address your old feelings for him.

word count: 19.9k

tag list: @junhui-recs @bfwonu @huiranghaes

warnings: figure skater!joshua, writer/fangirl!reader, best friend!jeonghan, dad!seungcheol, smut, fluff, angst, some occasional skating jargon, this is a lot about the Olympics

a/n: y’all. this fic has been reworked over and over and over since spring 2022, it’s the longest fic I’ve ever done. it’s given me so much trouble and seen me through so many changes in my life. doing my final undergrad dance show, writing my undergrad capstone, finishing undergrad, and finding my first apartment. it is my baby and has grown as much as I have since march. thank you to the sports au discord for being so lovely <3 I hope you enjoy it as always and I hope you can feel how much heart I put into this! this is for @gyukult’s sports au collab + this is loosely based on the plot of the book “funny you should ask” by elissa sussman which I can’t recommend enough! title also inspired by the harry styles song ok bye lmao <3

Work isn’t particularly difficult, in your opinion. You’re used to hearing the people around you complain about how much their workload consumes them to a point of no return, but as you made your way into your first adult job as a writer, you tried to stop that from happening.

It’s not exactly easy when you have to navigate the entertainment industry while writing, but the idea of trying to craft new narratives about celebrities that the public is convinced that they know inside and out still excites you.

Even if you’re not exactly fond of whoever you’re writing about, the challenge still intrigues you. Thus, the conversations surrounding ideas for new profiles are always equal parts captivating and nerve-wracking.

“How do you feel about Joshua Hong?” Your manager asks. You look up to see her balancing her weight on the side of your desk, a neutral expression paints her face.

She knows this is a loaded question, all things considered.

“You know how I feel about him,” You blink at her before facing your computer again.

“I do, but I need an updated response considering the anniversary,” She persists. You sigh, swiveling around to face her again before responding.

“He’s great. I like him,” Your voice trails off, you try to nod to convince her, but it’s not working.

Your life has been so intertwined with Joshua Hong’s career as a professional figure skater that it’s hard to delineate life before and after him. He wasn't there, then one day he seemed to consume your life completely.

Before your start as a journalist, you ran a very well-known, albeit secretive, blog about Joshua Hong as a teenager. It was relatively harmless and safe for work, spare the occasional thirst posts sprinkled in. It mostly contained updates about the then emerging skater’s career, offering illegal torrent links for broadcasts of his performances that weren’t available worldwide and communicating with other fans about your love for him. Yet, some random post about him qualifying for the Olympics went insanely viral when you were 17, garnering over 1 million shares in under a week.

It was substantial enough to get his management's attention, and you had the opportunity to interview him not only for your blog but for a major publication for their Winter Olympics coverage series.

With two opportunities to write about him, you were able to fulfill the fan service pleas from your fellow fans for the blog and write a serious piece that made the general public interested in him from the perspective of a fan that knew the general timeline of his career.

The quick success felt like a fluke, but it led you to an undergraduate degree and a dream job as an entertainment writer at one of your favorite companies almost immediately after graduation.

He technically made your career, whether you wanted to admit it or not.

You’ve been trying to forget about the anniversary, but everyone in your life seems determined to bring it up whenever they see you.

“Well, we want you to do a 10-year reunion interview piece with him. That’s only if you want to,” Her voice was sympathetic, but you’re mainly focused on the number. It really had been 10 years, hadn’t it?

You were both incredibly established in your respective careers, him as a 5-time gold medalist with appearances at 3 Olympic Games, and you with a prolific image as a relatable yet incisive celebrity interviewer. It completely makes sense for you two to meet again, considering how much the first interview changed the trajectory of your lives.

It would feed into the nostalgia of Joshua fans that grew up alongside you as readers of your blog and new fans that clamored for any new Joshua content.

Yet, you weren’t exactly convinced.

“I mean, his team could’ve had anyone else write a big profile on him. We’re not the only website in the world with an entertainment section,” You fight the urge to bite your nails and instead choose to wring your hands together.

“He asked us to do it,” She admits.

You try not to look too shocked, but that definitely changes things. You were not close with Joshua whatsoever. Sure, he’d occasionally like your social media posts and wish you a happy birthday every year, but that was the extent of your relationship.

Your teenage self thinks it might be him looking for closure, wondering what might have happened if you stayed in touch.

Yet, you can’t let yourself dive back into the fantasy of him again.

You search for a response, but you can’t land on anything substantial. “What would I have to do?” You ask, you barely notice the unconscious habit of biting the inside of your cheek.

“Well, in addition to the profile, you can attend his practices and any private schedules he invites you to. It’s mostly up to the discretion of him and his team,” She offers and you nod. You’re good with that, you can watch him practice and go to a random professional event he’s booked for.

“He did offer something else, if you’re up for it,” She gives you a pointed look which makes you a bit hesitant.

“What is it?”

“He asked if you were open to staying at his house,” She smiled through her answer, but you’re sure your face was completely pale.

You didn’t know if you were more shocked or nervous at the idea of it. It was ambitious, considering that you haven’t spent more than a few hours in the same room with him at a time, much less stay with him.

You think you might die if you go through with it.

“He’s not serious,” You find yourself laughing in disbelief. You can’t even fathom the idea of being further sucked into Joshua’s life after so long.

“He really is. You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but within the next day or so,” She leaves your desk without giving you a chance to respond, but you revel in the opportunity to think about everything.

It’s a bit too much to wrap your head around, so much so that you don’t remember much else of the work day.

For the first time in a long time, Joshua Hong was all you could think about.

—

The more you think about the interview, the more it gives you anxiety.

All of the possible outcomes float around in your head during the commute home that you can barely enjoy the music blaring in your headphones.

Once you arrive home, you figure that you need a second opinion on the matter, so you decide to call your far more opinionated best friend for his input.

The phone only rings for a few seconds before he picks up.

“What happened?”

“Joshua wants to do this 10-year anniversary interview where I follow him around,” You sigh.

“No fucking way,” He burst into laughter, his giggles echoing loudly through the phone.

“Jeonghan, this isn’t funny,” You whine. He was probably the last person you needed to call, seeing as he almost never had a sympathetic response to your pain.

“It’s hilarious, and this is karma for trying to ignore his existence for the past 5 years,” He replies with a teasing lilt.

You hate that he’s right.

You were very proud of Joshua’s successes, in a “retired fan celebrating from a distance” sort of way. Yet, you tried to distance yourself so much from the blog that he inadvertently got caught in the crossfire. You cared about him so deeply for so long that you lost yourself in that, so you tried to cope with the state of your uneven relationship with him in your own little fucked up way.

You let out a frustrated sigh. “I just didn’t think he’d be the one to do it, you know? I thought I’d get a polite email from his assistant, not my manager telling me he wanted to do a profile.”

“That means it’s personal to him, then. That’s actually kinda charming of him,” You feel your phone vibrate, so you check the notification.

Joshua messaged you on Instagram, and from a quick glance at your lockscreen, it’s long.

Your heart drops to your stomach.

“Wait, he just messaged me,” You quickly put Jeonghan on speaker and opened the app without a second thought. You read his message out loud:

joshuahong: Hi! Not sure if you’ve heard my request yet about the anniversary profile, but I would really love it if we could make it happen. I know it’s been a really long time, but I think it’d be fun to do it again. You’ve always supported me from the beginning of my career, so it would mean a lot to me. I miss talking to you, so we would definitely be catching up in more ways than one. We’ll only do it if you’re up for it though, please don’t ghost me this time lol

“Holy shit,” Jeonghan fills the silence immediately. You were pretty much lost for words, but you managed to speak. “Holy shit is right,” You mumble to yourself.

You suddenly feel guilty for trying to bury him out of your life, especially when he clearly said he misses you.

Were you trying to set your boundaries by pushing him away or were you just being an asshole?

“I feel really stupid,” You hate that you want to cry. You can’t reckon with the fact that Joshua has wanted to reconcile for so long that he had to do this to get your attention.

At least, that’s what the selfish part of you thinks. You know the interview is so much bigger than yourself, but then again, it is a symbol of you and the years of effort you put into your blog.

“You’re not stupid, but you need to worry about what you’re gonna say. Are you gonna say yes?” He asks.

Admittedly, you do feel the pull to say yes.

“I think I might. Is that a bad idea?” Internally, you know the answer, but your insecurities need some validation.

He clears his throat before responding. “I think you’ll regret it if you say no. I think it’ll hurt you more to not have closure with him.”

You don’t think you necessarily want anything out of this besides becoming friendly with him.

You’d like to think that’s what would’ve happened if you didn’t completely ice him out.

“That’s true. It’s gonna be so hard to see him again,” A whine pulls your lips into a pout and you already know Jeonghan will protest.

“Stop talking yourself out of it. Who knows, you might end up enjoying everything,” he suggests openly.

“That’s possible. His house is supposed to be insanely big,” You shake your head at the idea of how a 27-year-old millionaire pro figure skater would be living, definitely far better than your current apartment.

“You can only know for sure if you say yes.”

“I know,” You figure you need a vacation anyways, even if it means facing some unresolved emotional baggage.

“So, you know your answer then. I need to get back to work, but don’t blow him off. Respond to him tonight or I’m not giving you the deluxe massage package gift certificate like I promised,” Jeonghan was not above threatening you into action, and this one had the right level of stakes.

“Fine, okay,” You huff out, already opening the Instagram app again to motivate you into typing a proper response.

You exchange quick goodbyes and you let yourself look, albeit for far too long, at the message again to gain some inspiration.

Before you know it, you’re sending him a formal reply.

you: Hi! You’re right about ghosting, no excuses for that so I’m sorry lol. I’ve thought about it and I’d be happy to do it, it’s been too long since we’ve talked. Let me know the timeline you’re thinking of and I’ll get my schedule figured out

You figure that’s just enough to ease your nerves. It’s not exactly as earnest as his original message, but it’ll work for now.

You even send a screenshot of the message to Jeonghan as proof for the sake of accountability and the state of your deluxe massage package gift certificate. You place your phone on your nightstand to avoid fixating on another response, letting yourself go fix dinner and get ready for bed without thinking.

It’s only when you’re about to settle into bed that you remember your phone. You reach for it and Joshua, who is somehow extremely prompt with his messages, sends you another reply 10 minutes after your message.

joshuahong: Great! We’ll start sorting out more details then. I’m really glad you said yes

He’s already trying to pull at your heartstrings and it’s working. Despite everything, Joshua has always been kind. He doesn’t just seem nice, like what most celebrities are assumed to be around other people, he’s always made sure you know he cares about you even if you hadn’t known what to do about it.

You type out another quick response before going to bed.

you: Of course, it’s gonna be a lot of fun

You hope that’s true, you hope that you’re not already in over your head with the situation. He still seems to have faith in you, so why not trust that instinct?

—

During pre-trip preparations, you found yourself talking to Joshua far more often than before.

The conversations didn’t go too deep of course, you couldn’t get everything out of him before you even had a chance to conduct the interview, but the harmless banter seemed to slowly bridge that treacherous gap left between you two.

You even thought it would make your first meeting less awkward, but that wasn’t even remotely possible. It had only taken a few days for the entirety of the trip to be confirmed by your workplace and his team, and the final itinerary made your head spin.

You would follow Joshua around for a week, primarily to his private daily practices in an effort to show his infamous dedication to Olympics training.

All while you stayed in his guest room.

You couldn’t get out of that obligation, no matter how much you tried to convince him that you would be perfectly fine staying in a luxury hotel room paid for by your employer. He was confident that you could get a better view into his life while staying at his house which you reluctantly agreed with.

His idea definitely didn’t cross any professional boundaries at all, none whatsoever! This is what he’d do as a friend if you were coming to visit anyways, right?

You were still slightly afraid to hear his voice, you weren’t exactly sure why, but you were hoping it would keep the image of him unchanged in your mind until you saw him in person again.

You knew you were heavily biased going into this situation, so why not protect your heart for a little bit longer?

joshuahong: Are you nervous about tomorrow?

you: Not really

joshuahong: Y/N, please don’t lie.

you: I’m not!

joshuahong: I’m kinda nervous to see you, though

you: Really? Why?

joshuahong: I think it’s been 6 years since I’ve seen you in person. That’s scary to think about

you: The passing of time is scary

joshuahong: Definitely. Promise to not be awkward?

you: I’ll try my best!

joshuahong: That’s not a promise!

you: Fine, I promise but you have to promise too!

joshuahong: I promise :) now get some sleep, I don’t want to hear you complain when you have plenty of time to get 8 hours of sleep

you: You’re so mean!! but you too, get lots of rest so you can give me a good show tomorrow

He doesn’t reply to that last message, only using a heart emoji reaction instead.

The weight of the trip suddenly sits on your heart, and the main objective of writing an exceptional interview is somehow the least of your worries now.

—

The flight to Korea is unceremoniously long, you have far too much time and anxiety to let yourself fall asleep. You go through all the Netflix episodes you downloaded for the flight, finish the book that’s been sitting on your shelf for ages, and write down some preliminary notes about what you’d like to cover in the interview.

You decide to keep your ideas vague so that you’re not overexerting your brain during the flight.

First, a general discussion of the Olympics. That’s the main appeal of the article, seeing what his main preparations are like and hopefully getting some better insight about his feelings surrounding everything.

The second is his recovery from his last Olympics injury. He landed the most ambitious jump of his free skate program completely wrong, breaking his ankle in the process. It was during the last event of his Olympics run for that year, and he still placed third in the men’s individual skate program overall, but it’s been a sore subject for him in most interviews he’s done since the incident.

The footage is as agonizing as you can imagine, but the fact that he finished the routine at all is stunning. You figure that you can get some in-depth reaction about that moment and the subsequent recovery, more than the extremely media-trained answer he’s given about it before.

Lastly, the prospect of retirement. He’s said almost nothing about his plans after the upcoming Olympic games, but Olympics experts are convinced that the news is looming over his upcoming appearance.

You knew better than to ask him outright about it because he definitely wouldn’t give you a straight answer. From watching his recent interviews, you realized that Joshua has a tendency to go into a subtle apathetic mood when the interviewer hits something he’s not comfortable with. You hope that you can breach the subject without things going completely south. This interview was supposed to hit some darker aspects of the state of Joshua’s career, but you never wanted to make him uncomfortable.

Other than those topics, anything else he wanted to divulge to you would be a bonus. You wanted him to have a reasonable amount of control over what would go into the interview, so you’re not opposed to adjusting your interview material if needed.

The thought of his reactions to your questions swarms your brain in a frenzy, but you know you’re getting ahead of yourself.

The flight lands without any problems and you’re still trying to figure your thoughts out by the time you’re picking up your suitcase from baggage claim.

You’re soon greeted by Joshua’s driver, a tall man who holds a sign with your name printed on it, nodding in affirmation when you confirm your identity with him. He’s distantly kind to you, but it’s enough to put you at ease for the moment. You’re escorted to a tinted black SUV with a gentle hand opening the back car door for you. Your suitcase is carefully stowed into the back of the truck while you click your seatbelt into place across your lap.

You don’t realize how tired you are until the car starts moving. You didn’t bother to orient yourself with the time once you got off the flight, but you figure it’s somewhere between late morning and early afternoon by the way the clouds create a gray atmosphere in the sky.

Nonetheless, looking out the window is enough to pull you into sleep, and you indulge yourself in a short nap, barely considering where you may be headed.

—

It turns out that Joshua wanted to meet you at his home rink first which explains why you were waking up to the sight of a massive stadium.

You were slightly annoyed that you weren’t at a stable location yet, your body started to feel vaguely sick at the constant movement of the car.

You’re grateful that the car stops for a moment, you’re hoping Joshua takes a bit longer than expected to come out of the rink so that your body can stop feeling off center.

Unfortunately, he’s quite prompt, you notice him walking out only a few minutes later. He’s accompanied by two other staff members, seemingly debriefing him on your arrival as you see one of them point to the car.

You suddenly feel acutely aware of how disheveled you look in your inconspicuous airport outfit, barely awake enough to make proper conversation with him.

He arrives at the other back car door quickly, opening it with a big smile.

“Y/N! Hi, I’m so happy to finally see you again,” He’s excited, settling into the backseat across from you, slightly more perky than you expected.

“Hi,” You wave back politely, pushing your voice up an octave to match his energy that is nearly impossible to replicate in your current mood.

“I’m sure you must be exhausted, it was a long flight wasn’t it?” His brows furrow slightly, and his concern is evident on his face.

“Yeah, I’m still pretty tired,” You offer him a halfhearted smile.

“Well, we can recover once we’re at my place. We’ll have time to catch up on everything,” He reassures you with a nod.

He notices you’re still out of it, so you don’t talk for the rest of the ride to his house.

Through heavy eyelids, you steal a few looks at him and he really is as pretty as you remember. His boyish features filled out his face much better now, although he was always handsome.

You’re not sure how long his practice day was, but it surely didn’t show in his features. He caught you looking at him only once, you tried to be discreet while he was looking at his phone, but he still saw you.

It seemed like he had a sixth sense to know when someone was looking at him which, if anything, made it a bit more embarrassing to get caught.

He let you off easy though, smiling at you before turning his attention back to his phone.

It was a tiny gesture, but it reminds you just how much he seems to notice you.

—

You wouldn’t say you’re best friends or anything, but talking to Joshua for an extended period of time has made you miss being around him in person. His energy has always been the same after so long.

“So you just casually stumbled into an interview with Dwayne the Rock Johnson?” He’s somehow fully astonished at your celebrity interview stories, you notice the sparkle in his eyes and his smile is radiant, but you think that’s just the alcohol creeping up on him.

You both agreed to a drink after coming back to the house, you chose wine while he opted for beer. This has made the mood considerably less awkward and you’re grateful that you both pushed past the mandatory small talk.

“Yeah, the interviewer before me canceled so I got more time with him than I intended. Then the whole viral interview video happened,” You wave your hand before taking another sip of your glass.

“You say that as if it’s normal,” He pushes his hair back, slightly exposing his forehead. That was surprising coming from him, considering that he is far more famous than you would ever be. Yet, you assume that it’s because he’s famous in a more traditional sense, so content creation was never a part of his job to begin with.

“Well, it is if you’re good at it, which I am,” You brag, receiving a hearty laugh from him.

“Look at you, big shot,” He playfully swats your arm. “You really made it, huh?” He’s fond, his glance is soft and yearning for more. It’s far too sentimental for where you wanted this to go tonight, but you play along for a moment.

“I did,” Your cheeks are slightly too warm as you avoid his eye contact with a small smile, but you still have control over yourself. You decide to take advantage of it.

“I want to get some stuff recorded for the interview if that’s okay?” You don’t know why you ask for permission to start interviewing, seeing as it’s the entire reason you’re here in the first place.

“That’s fine,” He straightens up a bit, he doesn’t seem too affected by the alcohol either which will make this a bit easier.

“We’ll keep it pretty light today, considering this is just the first day.”

“I’m good with that,” He chuckles lightly. You know he’s watching you struggle to figure out the best way to interview him. It’s too much effort to find your laptop which is somewhere tucked away in a carry-on bag, so you settle for your phone.

“Ok, so,” you fumble with your phone’s record button on the Voice Memos app for a moment, “tell me your general feelings about the Olympics coming up.”

“I’m excited, I missed being in full competition prep mode. It’s an indescribable feeling, but everything is coming together nicely which is all I can ask for on the 4th time around,” He had a vague joy in his eyes, but you didn’t want to scrutinize the answer just yet, it was only the first question.

“What does full competition prep mode look like for you?”

“My practice days are much longer than usual, so I’m in the rink most days from sunrise to sunset, if I can help it,” He smiles sheepishly. That charm seems like it’s going to seep through every response he gives you, so he can possibly get away with some things.

“What do you like to do to destress after such long practice days?”

His eyes light up at the idea and he readjusts his position on the couch. “I like taking a cold shower and catching up on reality TV, I honestly like anything trashy.”

You didn’t peg Joshua to be a reality TV person, but it’s the exact kind of pop culture talk that his fans will eat up.

“Okay, then which one do you prefer, The Bachelor or Love Island?” You ask curiously.

“Love Island, easily,” He replies immediately. He smirks and you nod in affirmation. You knew he had good taste, you figure you’d have to ask him about some other TV preferences later.

“Good, that was the right answer,” You shoot back. You decide to drink the rest of your wine instead of nursing it any longer.

“Asking the tough questions, clearly,” He’s way too smug about it and it makes you roll your eyes.

“Shut up, I told you we’re keeping it light! Unless you want to be asked about the future of your career while we drink,” Now it’s your turn to touch his arm, your hand intentionally doesn’t linger for too long though.

“I don’t, you’re right,” You know he’s not lying by the way he lets out a deep breath. There’s an unspoken tension at the thought of you bringing everything up.

“Okay, one more dumb non-skating question.”

“They’re not dumb,” He immediately catches your words and you blink at him, silently watching his face. He stares back, but his expression is slightly tender. Again, his face is almost too sweet for you to process. It threw you off this time though, so you have to look at the floor. You don’t even remember the question you meant to ask him, so you opt for a way out.

“Stop it.”

“What?” He genuinely looks confused, as if he’s not unconsciously doing the standard heartthrob boyfriend-esque banter.

“That was too nice,” You pick up your phone to stop the recording, still not facing him. Your body language is slightly more closed off.

“You act like you’ve never been complimented before,” He retorts.

You couldn’t say that it was different because he said it, you couldn’t give a shit if some random A-lister made you feel better about your work, but it was him.

“I’m not used to your compliments,” You indirectly emphasize him.

“Well, we’ll have to change that then,” He smirks.

That stirs something up in your chest, but you can’t quite name it. You decide it’s best to ignore it.

“Great. So are you gonna make me dinner or are we ordering somewhere?”

“I’m definitely not cooking,” He lets out a clipped laugh, shaking his head in disapproval. To be fair, he exerted more physical effort in a day than you’d do in an entire calendar year, so you weren’t exactly offended.

The night spun on with cheap pizza and varying levels of conversations. He even convinced you to watch Love Island, albeit one episode, until he decided he was too tired to continue.

He gives you a short tour of the guest room before retreating to his own room, and you finally get a moment to sit with your thoughts.

Joshua is friendlier than you expected and that was going to cause problems whether you liked it or not.

—

Although it was your first full day in town, the jetlag caught up with you almost immediately. Joshua mentioned last night that he would be at meetings throughout the afternoon, so you were grateful that you didn’t have to tag along.

Once you were thoroughly awake, you decided to investigate the house. As you suspected, it was far too big for him, especially considering he wasn’t home enough to enjoy it anyways.

The style of the house is typical celebrity fare, far too angular and minimalist for your taste. The shades of white, gray, and black that decorated his furniture and appliances were anything but inviting. It was all far too muted in your opinion and it made you miss the character of your apartment.

Besides a few framed photos of what you assume to be his family and friends along with some light decor, it looks like it could be plucked right off of a Zillow listing.

Even if you wanted to write some flowery prose about his house for the article, it leaves much to be desired.

“Are you settled in?” Your manager asks over the phone. She promised not to call you after this initial check in, but you figured she’d find other ways to be nosy about how things are going. She was a fan of Joshua, so her prying for extra details wouldn’t be completely unexpected.

“Yeah, everything’s been good,” You shared, completely nestled onto the couch with a blanket.

“How’s Joshua?” She inquires with a slight lilt.

“He’s doing well. We’ve already got some parts for the interview, but I haven’t seen him skate yet,” You recall the banter of last night with a small smile. You were both being friendly, it was completely harmless.

“Well, you still have a lot of time for that, but I’m glad you’ve made some progress. I’ll let you go, but let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” You respond. You exchange goodbyes and go back to mindlessly scrolling on Twitter.

“Were you talking shit about me?” Joshua asks. You whip your head around to notice him watching you, completely unsuspecting in his business casual attire. You shriek in fear, clutching the blanket before reaching over to throw a pillow at his face. He narrowly avoids it with a massive grin on his face.

“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me,” You sigh, pressing a hand to your chest to check your racing pulse.

“I’m light on my feet.”

“Yeah, clearly,” You grumbled.

“You look very comfortable,” He teases, pointing to your current seating position with a chuckle. Your body is completely wrapped up minus your head. It probably looks quite funny by the way he bites his tongue with a childish smile.

“I am. How were the meetings?” You deflect the attention onto him instead.

“Productive,” He walks around to join you on the couch, landing next to you with a sigh.

“Anything worth breaking an NDA over?”

He rolls his eyes. “Absolutely not,” He scoffed.

“Worth a try,” You finally free your arms from the blanket, but you’re still wearing a hoodie.

“Why did you need the blanket if you’re wearing a hoodie?” He asks politely, pointing to your chest.

“I get cold easily!” You protest.

This oversized maroon hoodie was your signature writing piece, you absolutely needed to wear it for big projects or else you wrote pure shit.

You’ve had it since you started writing professionally, a random thrift store find that has given you incredible luck over the years. It’s helped you through many long nights of writing and editing throughout your career.

Thus, you put it on in an attempt to stir up some inspiration, but to no avail.

Joshua is charmed by this backstory though, nodding along with his head in the palm of his hand.

“You think it’s dumb,” You’re projecting onto him, without a doubt.

“No, it’s not! It’s actually very cute. You can wear it to the rink later.”

“We’re still doing that?” You grimace. He joked that he was going to take you out onto the ice, but doing it this early into the trip felt like overkill.

“Unfortunately, yes,” He pouts. “I’m forcing you out of the house so that you don’t steal my blankets.”

“Very rude.”

—

The rink is far bigger than you could’ve imagined. You haven’t been in many throughout your life, but since it functions partly as a stadium, it makes you feel even smaller.

He leads you to the check in booth to introduce you to the staff onsite for the day. If he’s coming to practice solo, he remarks that the employees only door is typically unlocked for him, and his suspicions are correct.

“Hey, man, it’s good to see you again,” Joshua embraces a taller man into a hug once he walks through the door. “Cheol, this is Y/N,” He glances between the two of you with a hopeful smile.

“Y/N, this is Seungcheol.”

“Hi,” You wave politely and everything starts to register for you. You’ve known of Seungcheol for a long time through Joshua’s social media, you knew they were longtime friends and Joshua was always open about being close with Seungcheol’s family.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Josh has told me a lot about you, you’re always a hot topic around here,” Seungcheol smirks to Joshua’s dismay.

“Not in a bad way, everybody loves your writing,” Joshua tries to diffuse the tension with a short smile.

“Is Sumin here?” He switches the topic completely, looking around to the back door for any sign of life.

“Yeah, she’s just with her mom. I’ll go get her,” Seungcheol replies before heading further back into the venue.

It’s another minute or two before he comes back with a toddler in his arms, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Joshua. She squirms in Seungcheol’s hold until he puts her down, and she takes off running until Joshua catches her in his arms.

“Joshie,” she screams into his ear. He spins her around for a moment until she’s giggling uncontrollably. It was absolutely adorable, it even got a smile out of you.

“Hi Minnie, how are you?” He’s beaming from ear to ear at her.

“Good,” she nods decisively. He points to you before introducing you to her.

“That’s Y/N. She’s a good friend of mine, can you say hi?” He coaxes her with a gentle voice.

“Hi,” She waves and Joshua is celebrating her again with a small kiss on the cheek. He seems like such a natural with her, it’s as if she’s his own daughter.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” You wave back and she offers you a shy smile.

“I have to go, but I’ll just be skating out there with Y/N, okay?” He reassures her with a sweet pat to her hair before handing her off to Seungcheol.

She puts her head on Seungcheol’s shoulder with another nod. “Out there,” she points to the ice.

“Yep. Be good for dad, I’ll see you later,” He winks at her before leading you both out to the ice.

Your heart is warm from the entire interaction. He sits down on the bleachers and you land next to him, silently placing his duffel bag onto the ground.

He unzips it to reveal your skates. He ordered them before you arrived, promising that he would get you to skate at some point during the trip. You just didn’t predict it would be this early on.

“How old is she?” You asked, toeing off your sneakers before putting on the skates one at a time.

“Two,” He smiles fondly at the thought of her. “Cheol and his wife are such good parents, they were worried about being too young but they’re perfect to her.”

“So you’re her godfather, I assume?”

“Is it that obvious?” He scrunches his face. He turns his attention to his skates for a moment, quickly lacing them up and tightening them. You didn’t even notice him taking off his other shoes.

“Yeah, you definitely gave off dad vibes, but it was sweet.”

“Him and his family have done so much for me, I couldn’t say no. I also helped him ask out his wife on their first date, so it was inevitable,” He pushes his hair out of his face with a grin.

“They helped you adjust here, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll always be grateful for them. It started with discounted rental fees because I couldn’t afford to use the space, so I owe a lot to them. I pay them back in any way I can,” He nodded solemnly.

He has a deep sense of gratitude that is admirable, it makes you wonder what it’s like to be so deeply initiated into someone’s life that there’s no question if you’ll be there forever, it’s just a matter of what role you’ll play.

It made sense that Joshua knew the place so intimately, he was clearly a member of Seungcheol’s family. He grew up in this rink, watched his friends grow and start their families. It was a safe haven.

“Are you ready to skate?”

“Barely.”

“That’s the spirit,” He rubs your shoulder before standing up. You also stand up, albeit far more slowly, facing toward the ice.

You’ve gone ice skating multiple times in your life, but not enough to remember anything past the basics. You step onto the ice, but you already feel like the surface is going to give out any second.

Joshua notices you start to flail and rushes to place a protective arm around your waist. “Are you okay?”

“No,” You squeeze your eyes shut and are already considering admitting defeat. The idea of voluntarily skating with an Olympic gold medalist had to be the worst idea you’ve had in a long time.

“Do you want me to get you the walker?” He asks sweetly. There’s absolutely no malice there, but it still feels slightly patronizing.

“Joshua, that’s not funny,” You whine, anxiously looking down at your skates.

“I’m not joking, I’m just giving you options!”

“No, I don’t need it. I just got nervous,” You reassure yourself. That was the truth, it was mostly the shock of being on the ice again after such a long time.

“Ok, so if I let go, you’ll be fine?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’m letting go. Just bend your knees if you think you’re gonna fall,” He slowly moves away from you, looking expectantly to see how you’ll fare on your own. His advice works and you find your balance without too much effort. You do remember how to move forward on skates, so you decide to impress him a bit.

You move easily, pushing your back leg out and to the side before alternating legs, making your way across the ice without much issue. He is visibly impressed, gasping at you with his arms crossed.

“You’re so good! I thought you were a beginner,” He praises you while skating over to your side.

“I am! I don’t know anything other than this.”

“That’s fine, then we can just expand on that skill today. Nothing crazy, I promise,” He calms your nerves with a gentle hand on your shoulder.

The skill in question is extending the standard forward movements into drawn out strokes, so it appears as though you’re gliding instead of walking on the ice. You would leave that back leg out for longer periods to create a more elegant appearance when you move forward. When he demonstrates the move, you’re mesmerized. No matter how many times you’ve seen him do the same moves, there’s still an enchanting quality to his skating.

He can elevate any move without much effort, but that is clearly from years worth of work and persistence into making his moves clean.

Joshua is an incredibly patient teacher, far more than you expected. There’s absolutely no frustration when you make a mistake, just a quiet encouragement to keep going.

When you unexpectedly lose your balance, he’s making sure you fall backwards so as to not injure your hands. When you’re visibly frustrated, he lets you take a break for a few minutes to regroup. There’s a level of care you didn’t expect, but then again, it’s Joshua. He couldn’t ignore your requests for help even if he wanted to.

You’re not ready to do full out spins or jumps yet, but you are instilled with a new confidence that you can at least try something new without getting immediately discouraged.

“Are you good with finishing up there?”

“Yeah, I feel good. I do need something from you, though.”

“And what is that?”

“Your best jump.”

“Best jump?” He looks back at the ice before facing you again, seemingly considering all his options. Despite all of your years of supporting him, you still didn’t know the difference between the jumps, but you figure it’s best not to ask for more explanation than this.

“Pretty please?” You flash a smile that he can’t deny. He lets out a quiet laugh and his eyes search the ground for a moment before he nods.

“Okay, I’ll do a quadruple jump combo, but only because you asked so nicely,” He sighs, squaring his shoulders for a moment.

“I appreciate it a lot,” You amp up the compliments in hopes that he doesn’t change his mind.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” He skates away from you to find a solid starting position. You move to a corner wall to observe and stay out of the way.

He takes a deep breath before starting his entrance, snapping through both jumps with ease. He landed evenly, coming out into a pose for you, his arms pointed up with flair before putting them down again.

“Very impressive,” You compliment him.

“It was, wasn’t it?” His breathing is a bit uneven once he comes up to you again. You smile at his cockiness, but it’s well earned.

He restrains himself from practicing any further or else he’ll be here for hours on end, but that’s not too different from most days. He tells you this is one of his shorter visits, somehow being here for under 3 hours is an accomplishment worth celebrating.

You both say goodbye to Seungcheol and Sumin before heading out to his car. You climb into the passenger seat while he adjusts his seatbelt. He decides to let you interview him while he’s driving although you were fine with waiting until you were back at his home.

“So this current practice routine is the most intense level you’ve been at in the past 4 years?”

“Yeah, I slowly had to work it up to this point after the injury. It was almost painful to slow down that much, but I needed to,” He focuses on the road while responding. You’ve opted for writing notes on your phone and recording at the same time.

“How did it initially feel for you to go through it?”

“I hated it. I didn’t break my ankle normally either, so it wasn’t just the typical advice of staying off your ankle for 8 weeks. It took so much longer than everyone anticipated and I had to genuinely stop everything I was doing,” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel to your slight shock.

“I’m sure it was frustrating to not be able to enjoy that podium moment either.”

“Right, it was as if I didn’t even make the podium. I got 3rd place, but it was so excruciating to even be up there, I didn’t feel like I earned it,” He looks visibly upset just recounting it to you. It hurts to hear just how insecure he became afterwards. In hindsight, it makes sense that he didn’t want to spend time discussing it. Back then, the radio silence just made you hope that he was taking care of himself, not feeling pressured to keep anyone updated. Why would he want to constantly relive and dissect that kind of trauma?

“Do you ultimately want to redeem that moment?”

“I hope so. There’s always pressure to constantly outdo yourself, but I just want to finish the routines safely. That’s all I want,” He nods solemnly and you automatically believe him. Although he’s safely finished the other competitions within a season, there’s still an underlying fear of things going wrong at the worst possible moment.

“From what I saw today, you’re being careful,” You assure him. It’s not wrong to say that either, especially when he was helping you with the execution of the moves earlier. When he was done showing you a certain idea, he didn’t linger in the pose too long at all. It felt like he was overly cautious if anything, but you didn’t want to shift the mood too drastically.

“That’s from all the paranoia, trust me. I don’t want to feel afraid to compete, I want to break out of that habit,” He finally glances at you for a moment.

You’re grateful that he seems to echo your internal sentiment. There was never an air of hesitation around his skating, he was always quite self-assured in himself, but you both know that never conquering your fears could indefinitely stunt your growth. He obviously needed as long as possible to rebuild his self image and confront his fears.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ll find that courage again,” You place a hand on his shoulder. The tension settles almost immediately at your touch.

“You think so?”

“I know you will. It’s either that or withdrawing from the Olympics which just sounds like a lot of paperwork, honestly,” You joke.

“You’re right, it’s a shit ton of paperwork,” He giggles and readjusts his hands on the wheel again.

You knew that last part wouldn’t be used for your final work, but it’s nice to hear him joke about it all. You liked being there for him as a friend, even if you’d never know exactly what it’s like to be in his position. He deserves that kind of empathy that’s not hollow or backhanded, you figure that’s the least you could do for him while being here.

You could finally even out the foundation of friendship in this way, silently repairing all the mistakes you’ve made in the past in regards to your relationship.

He’s able to talk a bit more about his recovery before the end of the drive and you feel satisfied by the end of the night. Over dinner, it feels like everything is evolving, not just the article itself. He’s opened himself up a bit further and you’d like to treasure that.

—

“You don’t have to stay the entire time, you know that right?” He turns his glance toward you away from the ice with a smirk playing on his lips.

The infamous 12-hour practice day had arrived, and you were dreading it the most out of the week’s schedule. Yet, you were committed to being as involved in his daily life as possible, despite your natural aversion to waking up at dawn. You didn’t want to be one of those writers that holed up in their hotel room to write their assigned article. It was typically out of your control how much time you were allowed to spend with a subject, but if given the option to spend more time with them, you wanted to take it.

Since it was Joshua, you still felt obliged to play catch up on spending time with him in any way you could, even if it meant watching him from the bleachers for an entire work day. Plus, you were already at the rink this early, there was no use in leaving to do touristy things alone when you didn’t necessarily want to do that anyways.

“I know, but I want to,” You retorted. He gives you that “you’re gonna eat your words” look, but he still accepts your answer.

“Are you still up to be interviewed once you’re done practicing?”

“Yeah, I should be good,” He takes a deep breath once he replies, seemingly preparing himself for the painstakingly long day ahead of him.

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then,” You wave at him and he returns it immediately. You head up the bleachers to find a good seat, ending up somewhere towards the lower half of the seating. You wanted to be in a good position where you could view the full scope of his skating, but also capture the details of his face. Your position ends up being perfect, it makes watching him even more fascinating.

He does most of his stretches further away from you, so you’re caught craning your neck to see him. His muscles are well defined, a fact that you’ve been trying to ignore as the bulk of his arms seem to fight against the sleeves of his shirt as he stretches his limbs above his head.

His warm-up is calm yet still dynamic to watch. His jumps are so effortless that your head spins just thinking about the physics of jumping up into a spin and somehow not falling on your ass as you land.

Yet, he lands them perfectly every time. You know that’s not possible, that there’s probably some small tweak he’d make to the way he entered a jump or a correction he’d make to the angle of his landing, but you were fine living in ignorant bliss of the technical aspects of his skating.

You wanted yourself to enjoy being a spectator, to not fixate on every single detail, and simply enjoy an elite athlete being good at their sport.

He takes a small breather but soon goes into his assumed short program. Most diehard Olympics fans would kill to see even a glimpse of his routines for the impending games, but like any other figure skater, the details are carefully kept under lock and key until the competition begins.

You try to savor the image of him without the full theatrics of the actual performance, and the sight of him is enchanting.

His short program music is a bombastic and dynamic classical piece that forces you to focus on every detail of the performance. It’s a triumphant number, one that exudes the confidence and charisma of an experienced skater that knows the nuances of the song like the back of their hand. You decide that it suits him perfectly as he expresses the power of the song through cutthroat expressions and sharp movements.

After running through the full routine a few times, you notice him stop to take an extended break. He skates back to your side of the rink with a smile on his face.

“Falling asleep yet?” He jokes.

“Not yet,” you return the smile, your cheeks practically hurt just looking at him. It’s nearly impossible to avoid watching him, he’s always had this magnetic charm on the ice that makes him hard to ignore.

“Good, I haven’t bored you yet. How’s the writing coming?”

You glance at your laptop on the seat next to you, accompanied by scattered papers on top of the keyboard. The writing was mostly on pause considering the unusual environment, you didn’t ever write with the same classical song blasting in your ears on repeat.

Also, he was skating, so every time you thought you got into a good rhythm with writing, your eyes drifted back to him gliding across the ice. The sound of his skates hitting the ice was hard to ignore.

“It’s coming,” You lie easily. A quick tilt of his head signals that he knows you’re bluffing.

“Lots of strategizing, huh?” He doesn’t let on though, pointing at your notes instead and you’re nodding slowly.

“You’re not an easy person to write about,” You give him a pointed look and he’s grinning.

“So I’ve heard,” You’re glad he has some level of self-awareness. You’re not trying to give writers who are purposefully uninformed about his career when tasked to write a meaningful piece about him any credit, but he was a somewhat difficult subject.

Not in the traditional ways, of course, he’s not storming out of interviews over small details, but he’s so polished that it’s impossible to get much depth out of him beyond his typical media-trained answers.

You always heard the same things about him from other entertainment writers. He was perfectly kind and respectful to work with, but you would have to try especially hard to break him out of his mold.

Even if you felt that you knew him, you didn’t really know him at all.

The thought sits in the back of your mind like an unwanted guest.

“That means you actually have to keep giving me something to work with,” You sigh, gesturing your hands out toward him.

“We’ll see,” He playfully eyes you up and down, but it has a serious undertone. You’ve made some good progress, but you didn’t want to torture him for details. It wasn’t worth being invasive of his boundaries just to make a better article.

He skates off without another word and he’s back in the throes of practicing the routine. After a bit more technical work on the short program, he moves on to the free program.

The music is drastically calmer, it creates a stark contrast to his first routine. It’s still classical, you’d have to inquire exactly what track it was, but the mood of the piece was much lighter. It was smart of him to represent the full duality of his skating abilities.

His movements are almost fairylike, his delicate spins are effortless to watch. This doesn’t undercut the power of his jumps though, still as dramatic as ever. This routine contains far more quadruple jumps than the short program, likely in an effort to show off his technical prowess.

He wasn’t called the “technical prince” for nothing. It’s a nickname that’s been floating around the fandom since your early blog days, first used when fans noticed that young Joshua’s technical scores at competitions were almost always perfect. It’s followed him for years, evolving to show how clean his technique is.

He’s the textbook example of a good figure skater.

Once he finishes the routine, you can tell his stamina is reasonably depleted. From your occasional glances, you can tell it’s quite taxing to do multiple quadruple jump combinations in a row, yet he pulls it off every time.

The rest of the day consisted of him alternating between the routines, cleaning up details that he wasn’t happy with, and practicing the execution of his moves until he finally seemed satisfied with them. After a while, you figure you can’t write much else for this portion of the article without interviewing him again, so you settle further into the unforgivingly cold seats to watch him intently.

“Y/N!” He calls your name suddenly, waving his hand from across the rink.

“What?”

“It’s time to go home,” He beckons his hand for you to come toward him. You don’t hesitate to pack your laptop and assorted notes back into your purse, rushing over to meet up with him on his side of the rink. You don’t exactly know how to process being included in the concept of his home, even though you know it’s a harmless statement.

By the time you reach the other side, he’s already taken his skates off and replaced them with sneakers, his leg anxiously bouncing up and down as he watches you come over. He’s sat toward the end of the bleachers and you can sense that his body is ready to get moving.

“I just have to get a few things from the locker room and I’ll be ready to go. Do you want to go back there with me?” He looks toward the lengthy hallway behind him before looking back at you in anticipation. You didn’t go the first day he invited you to the rink out of an abundance of caution, mostly for your own heart’s sake.

You could keep yourself under control watching him collect his things, right?

“Yeah, I’ll go,” You nod decisively. He gets up and leads you through the hallway until you arrive at a private locker room, the door is adorned with a small nameplate with his name on it. He downplays how fancy it actually is, but it feels like a miniature hotel suite. In addition to the dressing room itself, it also contains a full private bathroom and sizable closet.

“Damn,” you mutter under your breath, looking around the room and taking in the full scope of it.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice,” He adds. You’re still looking around and trying not to touch anything in fear of breaking something.

You turn around to voice your opinions, but you notice something else.

Joshua is shirtless. You weren’t exactly objectifying him, but it was definitely hard to not look at him. He’s taking a moment to wipe off the sweat across his chest, it feels a bit pornographic to keep looking at that point. The next time you look, he thankfully has a shirt on so your cheeks can stop fully burning at the sight of him.

He doesn’t notice your stare, but you do observe the shirts that fall to the floor when Joshua accidentally knocks his duffel bag onto the ground.

“I’ve got it,” You chirp, already reaching down to pick everything up.

“It’s okay,” Joshua hurriedly shoulders the bag back onto the bench, double checking that it’s not hanging off precariously like last time.

Your heads both come up at the same time, your faces only a few inches away from each other.

“Are you gonna move?” You inquire quietly. He stares back, obviously in no rush to fold. His glance is tempting, everything about him is tempting.

“Do you want me to move?” He counters.

Shit.

You didn’t want him to at all, the idea of him walking away makes you want to scream. The tension has been mounting the past few days whether you wanted to admit it or not. At first, you chalked it up to him just being a gentleman, but there was always a hint of something else there. His politeness toward his staff was completely different to the kindness he offered you.

The lingering glances on you when he’s cooking, his particularly fond smiles while you talk about something, and the soft touches all add up in your brain.

Now that you were in a different setting, it was crystal clear to you. If there was ever a sign, this was it.

“No,” You shake your head.

“Can I?” He asks and your heart has already melted into a puddle. No one ever asks you for a kiss. You’re not sure if you would’ve rejected him to begin with, but the tenderness leaves you enthralled.

You nod and he meets your lips with ease. He tastes better than you could’ve ever imagined. It doesn’t take long for you to move further into the kiss, pushing your tongue into his mouth. He accepts you and naturally picks up the pace, capturing your lips over and over again leaving you few chances to catch your breath.

“Shit,” You step back first and he’s clearly confused.

“Are you ok? We don’t have to do this,” His voice is far too worried for what you’re actually thinking about, poor thing.

“No, I’m fine, I just remembered that I didn’t get to interview you,” You pout. You genuinely feel guilty for not mentioning it before the lust took over your mind, but it still needed to get off your chest.

“That’s okay, we can just do it here,” He reassures you with a nod.

“No,” you caress his arm, “not here.”

It clicks once you start running your hand up and down his bicep, eventually resting your palm on the side of his neck. The gesture is enough to make him arrange his bag faster than you’ve seen him move the entire trip.

—

“God, you taste so fucking good,” Joshua moans into your ear, momentarily taking his lips off yours to catch his breath. You can’t even form sentences at this point, only quiet moans that show your dissolving restraint. He can tell you’re getting tired of holding back too, in fact it seems to bother him quite a bit.

“I wanna hear you,” He whispers again, he suddenly nips your ear in retaliation for being quiet.

It forces a whiny moan out of your throat, it’s embarrassing to bend so easily to him but his quiet humming on your neck is enough indication to you that he’s satisfied.

He insisted on driving you both home and for good reason, he was so helplessly horny that he couldn’t keep his hand off your thigh for the entire drive home. You felt him snake his hand underneath your skirt, but he didn’t go much further than that, his thumb idly rubbing circles on your inner thigh.

The moment you both walked inside the house, Joshua couldn’t contain himself at all against your lips, thus you were barely standing up against the door.

“Josh, please,” you breathe out. Your voice is weak, you can’t even pretend to have your guard up anymore.

“What’s up?” He barely gets it out before his lips are on yours again. You whimper into the kiss again, tapping your hands against his chest to get his attention. You manage to pull away to speak up.

“Please tell me you’re not gonna fuck me against the door,” You pant, looking up at him with a smirk.

He takes a deep breath and tilts his head to look at you intently. You almost think he’s angry until he suddenly picks you up bridal style, ignoring your startled scream with a smile.

He leads you upstairs into his bedroom and tosses you on the bed lightly, you lean back onto your elbows as he inches closer to you.

“You’re so fucking impatient, you know that?” He giggles at you, hands slowly prying open your thighs with gentle hands. You try not to hold your breath in anticipation, but the touch of his fingertips against your skin is already driving you insane.

“You made us rush home because you swore that you needed to get more material for the interview,” He speaks in a low tone, sliding his hands underneath your skirt again, but his hands stop at your hips, massaging the fabric of your underwear.

“I did, I mean, I do,” You stutter out, making eye contact with him. He laughs at your attempt to be coherent and hooks his fingers under both sides of your underwear. He decides to slip the entirety of his hands underneath, seizing your hips with outstretched palms. He yanks you down the bed in one swift movement, making you gasp.

“You kept teasing me with this skirt, ignoring me and acting like you weren’t already soaked for me back at the rink,” He palms the front of your cunt, confirming how desperate you’ve been for him. It makes you shudder and squeeze your eyes closed.

“No no no, baby, keep your eyes open. You’re gonna interview me right now,” He nods at you and your heart drops to your stomach. You’re already somewhat close to cumming, you’re convinced that a single touch to your clit would send you over the edge.

How the hell were you meant to interview him like this?

“Fuck,” You whine, hips already lifting off the bed to gain more friction.

“I know, honey, you have to focus. Can you do that or do you need my cock that badly?” He teases you with lustful eyes and you clench your jaw. You’re determined to prove him wrong, so you put your energy into contemplating a question to start with.

“I can focus, asshole,” You begrudgingly shift your hips to give him better access. You shake your head and come up with a question on the spot, eyes trained on his expectantly.

“What’s a common misconception about your public persona that you hate?” Your voice holds steady and he slides your underwear off quickly.

He hums to himself for a moment, deciding to graze a finger lazily against your folds. “I’m not a people pleaser or a pushover. People think me being a gentleman means I take all kinds of shit, but I don’t,” He slips two fingers into your core, a light smile plays on his lips when he feels you clench around him.

“So you think people in the industry look down on you for that?” You hear your voice lilt for a second as he finds a steady rhythm, curling his fingers instinctively. Your hips are rocking subtly and he clocks this immediately, he moves to cage you between his legs.

“I know they do,” He confirms with a lift of his eyebrows, “especially when I was younger. It fucked with my mentality a lot, but I know better now,” He adds when he sees your pout. He moves up to your chest, tugging your shirt up slightly. He moves back to let you take off your top and bra, but his fingers are still expertly moving inside your walls. The sound of your wetness is absolutely stealing your focus, especially when Joshua decides to force his fingers inside you even harder with low grunts.

He’s an absolute menace, you’re sure of it.

You only nod to his answer, but he disapproves at your silence. “Come on, you know the rules,” He moves up to capture your nipple in his mouth, eliciting soft moans out of you. Your orgasm is definitely on the horizon, the coil in the pit of your stomach is tightening with every bite to your chest.

“So I assume you channel a lot of frustration into your-” He hits your g-spot particularly hard, you let out a strangled cry that forces a tear down your cheek. You clamp a hand over your mouth, but Joshua is already pushing it off your face to leave a peck on your lips.

“Your skating, shit,” You whisper, you force his head back down to meet your lips in a heated kiss. Your tongue enters his mouth with no hesitation and he returns the kiss just as eagerly. He pulls back after a few seconds and leaves a kiss on your cheek.

“Definitely. People can say whatever they want about me, but I know I’m talented. I don’t have to resort to making shit up about my competitors to compensate for a lack of talent,” He laughs at the idea of being that desperate for attention. It makes your walls flutter around his fingers.

“You like it when I hype myself up, huh?” You watch him move to the crook of your neck, biting down hard on an exposed part of your skin.

“Yes, yes yes,” You slur out, eyes fluttering shut. He giggles at your temporary lack of attention before kissing across your jaw. He retreats back down to your thighs again, placing a finger against your clit.

“One more question and you can cum, I promise,” He nods at you and you return it after a moment, but it’s going to be an uphill battle to arrange your mushy brain into a proper thought.

“Do you think you’re the best figure skater in the world?” You sigh into the air, eyes rolling to the back of your head in frustration. It’s an absolutely loaded question, but you know his ego is massive right now since you’re in the palm of his hands.

His fingers still, the pressure remains deep in your core and he runs his free hand through his hair. The whole act would be far sexier than it already is if you weren’t seconds away from covering his fingers in cum.

He laughs quietly before speaking up again. “I do. We both know I am,” His voice is far too cocky for his own good. His stare is stone cold, he holds so much control over you that it’s almost unbearable.

“Now cum,” His nonchalance sends you over the edge instantly. Your high pitched moan goes completely silent, your mouth agape while your neck tilts back in an effort to regain control. Joshua slips his fingers out and moves up to your face, pressing them gently on your bottom lip. You suck them off immediately and watch him coo at you. “Good job, baby. Ready for anything else?”

“Can I take a nap?” You furrow your eyebrows at him, heart full of malice for his unexpectedly great oral skills, yet he’s still smitten with you.

Honestly, Joshua Hong was always gonna be great in bed. It’s not like you didn’t fantasize about having sex with him over the years, but you didn’t expect the prophecy to fulfill itself this easily.

Somehow, he got you all whiny and pliant when you didn’t expect it at all. It was annoying how well he could please you. You were slightly tired, but you didn’t want him to be a cocky shit on top of you again just yet. You needed to recover.

“Sure,” He finally got off the bed, presumably to help you clean up and your suspicions were correct when he returned a minute later with a damp washcloth. You started to sit up, but he made you lie down again.

Who were you to fight Joshua when he offered to tend to your shaking thighs and messy cunt? It was the least he could do after making you work for your orgasm.

—

The next morning, you’re shocked that Joshua is in bed next to you. He was always up and moving pretty early, deep into his morning routine while you were barely conscious.

You, on the other hand, were trying to treat this week partially as a vacation. When Joshua wanted to bring you along to his private schedules, you were still insistent on taking your time to get ready, much to his dismay.

Thus, you were grateful that he could actually slow down for one day while you were here. As your eyes adjusted to the sunlight filtering through the curtains, you realized this was the rest day placed onto his schedule for the week.

You look over to his sleeping form and realize that you’re deeply entangled with his body. Although you’re lying flat on your back, his head is tucked in the crook of your neck. You don’t dare to move your arms or legs though, as his body keeps you essentially trapped into place next to him.

Your minimal movements still stir him awake.

“Hi,” you whisper. He’s still forcing himself into consciousness, but he waves at you. You sit in silence for a few minutes, silently waking each other up with random touches on each other’s face or arms.

“We had sex three times last night, correct?” You ask out of the blue. He’s visibly confused at your sudden line of questioning.

“Not even a good morning?” He mutters, letting out a big yawn immediately after.

“No. I wanna know because I know you remember.”

“After that first part? I’m pretty sure it was three,” His voice is slightly hesitant, but you trust his answer considering he was dominant the entire time. You also wanted to know because it was becoming increasingly harder to deny how much you like him.

You have to admit, it was nice being able to have him like this, to watch him rub the sleep out of his eyes and cuddle without questioning if he wanted you back. He clearly did, even if his pride wouldn’t let himself say it. It was a matter of who would crack first, now that you’ve established the fact that you have undeniable sexual chemistry.

“How did you get me to go three more times?” This question is especially pertinent now that your muscles felt the aches to match that number. You can barely sit up against the headboard without wincing.

“You asked me to,” He put his hands up in defense.

You now remember that you did ask to keep going. The first time was standard, being called a cockslut during the second round made you go feral enough for a third, and the absolute filth of the last round knocked you out completely.

You were fucked, considering that you didn’t want to have sex with anyone else but only had access to said person for a few more days.

“Right,” You sigh.

“What are you planning to do today?”

“I’m gonna edit the article a bit, I’ve been putting it off. What about you?”

“Chores. I need to get a lot of things done, but remind me to run you a bath at some point today. Your muscles hurt, right?” He’s already out of the bed, stretching his arms above his head.

“Yeah, but I don’t-”

“No, I’m running you a bath. Us, technically since my muscles hurt too,” He raises his eyebrows at the thought of pampering himself, but he’s still insistent on the idea.

“Fine,” You bite back the rest of your response and he picks up on it immediately.

“No rebuttal?”

“No,” You pout, jutting your lip out to garner some kind of sympathy. He falls for it, approaching the bed again.

He leans down to leave a chaste kiss on your lips, his mouth naturally moving up to kiss your cheek as well.

“I promise it’ll be worth it, you’ll feel a lot better,” He softens his delivery for you and it barely hurts once he pulls away. He’s had that effect on you lately, his affection so irresistible that even the worst news has a slightly sweet aftertaste coming from him.

“Come on,” He taps his side of the bed to coax you up, and you slowly follow him.

The encouragement works though, as you’re both propelled into a productive afternoon. Joshua gets all of his chores done, somehow doing three loads of laundry and other assorted tasks while you’re editing.

Meanwhile, you’re firmly planted on the couch, trying to make the interview sound cohesive. You don't need to fully edit while you’re on the trip, that’s not even possible with what you have, but you wouldn’t feel right just leaving the entire process until you arrived home.

Joshua gives you an adequate amount of space, only stopping you to make sure you ate lunch or took a break from looking at your laptop screen.

They were welcome distractions, truly. If the process of trying to capture Joshua accurately in the article didn’t make any sense, it was nice to know the real Joshua was somewhere flitting around the house doing the dishes or vacuuming the living room.

Plus, it was nice to paint domestic scenes about him in your mind.

Joshua doesn’t take breaks much at all, this has been true for his entire career. He’s always competing, always performing, always doing someone a favor by being a guest of honor or special performer. It was nice to see him just exist, to fret over if he had enough laundry detergent for his next load and watch him sort his white clothes from his colorful wardrobe.

You wonder if these moments add up for him too, if he craves this kind of quiet domesticity at times.

He places a gentle hand on your shoulder and you look up at him.

“Can we take a bath now? Is it a bad time?” He worries, but you’re ready to pause.

“No, I’m ready,” You confirm. He helps you off the couch with a steady hand. You walk side by side on the way up the staircase this time, arms linked with hands untouched.

His master bathroom is just as simplistically ornate as you figured it would be. The bathtub overlooks the backyard, displaying a gorgeous view of the city skyline right above the trees.

The sun was about to set, so the view was even more picturesque than you could’ve imagined.

Throughout the day, your aches have been pressing at the back of your brain, interrupting your thought process multiple times, so much so that you don’t know why you fought him against this in the first place.

He opts for picking the right temperature for the water while he leaves you to pick out a calming scent to include in the bath.

You pick an expensive looking lavender bubble bath and he smiles when you place the bottle in his hands.

“I’ve been meaning to use this one, actually,” His eyes light up.

“Sure you have,” You sit down next to him, placing your head on his shoulder. You both observe the water slowly filling up the tub, he silently squeezes the bottle under the running water before retreating once the bubbles start to spread throughout the surface.

You both sit in silence just watching the water fill up, the sound of the faucet echoing throughout the room. Once the tub becomes noticeably fuller, he adds more bubble bath until the top is visibly covered with bubbles.

He insists on getting in first, stripping his clothes easily before settling into the tub slowly. You can already see the tension leave his muscles, especially on his face. His jaw loosens and he takes a deep breath.

He opens one eye and giggles when he sees you hesitate to enter. “Come on, I don’t bite,” He reassures you.

You move to take your clothes off in a few quick movements. He watches you with adoration, as if he’s never seen you naked before and he’d like to take it all in for a moment. Stepping into the tub isn’t too difficult, but when he suddenly pulls your waist down, the splashing startles you.

“Josh, you’re gonna get water everywhere,” you whine.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, remember?” He pulls you flush against his chest. He punctuates his question with kisses behind your ear.

Right. You force yourself to take a breath and settle into his skin.

You know your skin is littered with light bruises from the night before and he seems to notice this, his hand silently tracing over the red marks before stopping near your collarbone.

Once he stops moving and you stop overthinking, the silence is perfect.

It’s not entirely silent, there’s still the hum of the overhead fan creating ambiance, but the dim lights pull you into the fantasy of it all.

You realize that you haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time. Perhaps it’s his presence or the fact that you haven’t sat in silence on your own in so long, but you want it more often.

You want him to envelop your life with his gentle reminders and caring gazes, silently telling you that there’s no point in working yourself to death if there’s no life for you to live outside of that.

“Joshua?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever want your career to slow down?”

He sighs so deeply that you feel it in your chest. “Is this off the record?”

“Yeah.”

“Then yes. I want to slow down so badly, it feels like my body is fighting back against how much I work sometimes,” His response is slightly pained, adjusting his body underneath you.

You pause for a few moments before speaking up again. “What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t-,” He hesitates.

“It’s okay,” Your voice mirrors the softness that he’s given you throughout the day. He gathers his thoughts for a second before trying again.

“I don’t know who I am as a person if I don’t work. This has been my entire life, if I get a few days to myself I feel like I’m going insane,” He sounds so tired of keeping up the charade, tired of being everyone’s perfect gentleman, just tired of it all.

“Have you told your team?”

“Yeah. After this Olympics cycle, I’m pulling back. I need to before it’s too late, you know?”

“Absolutely. I don’t want you to burn out even more.”

“I’ve been burnt out for ages, so what’s a little bit longer,” He chuckles bitterly. It felt like a poor response the moment you said it, but something in you hoped it wasn’t wrong to be concerned.

“So you’re gonna do the charity skate tomorrow even though you’re burnt out,” You predict.

“I mean, yeah, the skating itself isn’t the problem. I love performing, I’m just not built to keep going without consistent breaks anymore,” He reasoned.

It made complete sense knowing how quickly his career ascended once he entered the elite circuit. He hasn’t left the top 10 of the World Standings since his first full elite competition season which is incredibly hard for anyone to keep up throughout their career.

It’s no wonder that he’s tired of keeping an unmanageable pace.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper. You don’t know what else to say. What could you even tell him?

“Please, it’s not your fault.”

“Do you want me to put this in the interview? Or just write some filler paragraph about it?” You giggle through the last question and he's amused as well.

“Filler, please. I’m confident you won’t make me sound like a dick,” He plants a kiss on your cheek as a silent thank you.

“I promise I won’t.”

“I am excited for the show tomorrow though,” He shifts the conversation and it’s a welcome change.

“Anything fun planned for your number?” You asked.

From what you’ve read, Joshua’s rink held the annual charity skate event in order to honor the professional skaters who train in their facilities, allowing them space to perform routines that they may not have had the chance to otherwise. Notoriously, skaters were extremely flashy with their songs and costumes since there was significant creative freedom.

“Not really, it’s nostalgic of my old numbers.”

“Will I remember it?”

“Definitely, it made your ranking of my best performances forever ago,” His laugh vibrates through your body.

“That list definitely holds up, by the way,” You defend your teenage choices blindly, you definitely hadn’t seen it since you posted it, but it’s nice that he actually remembered some of the content you posted.

“I know you’ll love it,” He presses a long kiss on your cheek once again, but lingers against your face this time.

You’re back to silence again for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” You apologized. You can sense that he’s already shaking his head no at your words before you can finish your sentence.

“It’s just as much my fault as it’s yours.”

“You know I was avoiding you, though,” You clarified.

“I noticed that,” You could tell that he was smiling through the response, it makes your cheeks burn.

“I was definitely doing the same though,” He immediately follows it up. In all honesty, it was a relief that both of you decided to bury yourselves in shaping your respective careers. You were unintentionally coping in the same ways, silently hoping the other person was making better choices.

Alas, you were too similar for that to be true.

“But you know what?”

“Hm?”

“I’m really proud of you. I haven’t told you that enough and I feel terrible. I should’ve been there for you,” he replies earnestly.

After all this time, he was proud of you. In retrospect, you thought you were too obsessive or had unintentionally crossed his boundaries as a fan. Yet, that was never the case. He was always grateful that you supported him at every turn, so why wouldn’t he return that gratitude to you?

You didn’t need his validation, the initial interview all those years ago was enough to satisfy you a million times over, but he needed to express it.

You were eternally grateful that he acted on that need.

However, that last part of the confession urges you to sit up completely. You turn your body as much as possible to face him without splashing the water too much.

“You were there for me.”

“Leaving comments on your Instagram is not supporting you in the way you need, you know that,” He counters.

He’s right. You adjusted your expectations for Joshua years ago, you weren’t happy with how things were, but you accepted that your communication would always be limited.

You didn’t have the courage to talk to him, you figured things would never change. It wasn’t smart, you wasted far too much time refusing to invest in your relationship simply because of your own cowardice.

It seems he also became content with barely doing enough.

“I’m sorry for doing the same thing.”

“This can be a truce, then. I want us to be closer if you want that,” He holds out his hand and you take it immediately.

“I absolutely want that,” You're grinning so hard that your cheeks hurt. “So this means you want to kiss me again?”

“You have a massive hickey on your neck and you don’t think I want to kiss you again?” He’s almost fed up, but that smirk tells you otherwise.

“I’m just making sure,” You lower your head coyly. “Come here, babe,” He beckons you over, but he’s too eager to let you make the entire distance. He captures your lips with ease, placing his hand on your cheek. You steady yourself with your hand on his arm, leaning into the kiss with a sense of urgency.

It’s only a few moments before you pull back. “Josh, the water is so fucking cold,” You laugh through your shivers.

He reaches behind you to open the drain and kisses you again. You can’t help but smile against his lips.

The new uncharted territory you’ve forged with him makes your skin burn with excitement.

—

As soon as you arrive at the backstage area of the rink, Joshua’s whisked away by his stylist and assistants to the dressing room. You’re escorted to a VIP viewing area towards the top of the rink, a lounge with access to multi-view screens and a bird’s eye view of the ice.

Before the show starts, you familiarize yourself with the other figure skaters performing tonight. You’ve heard of all of them to some extent, having watched them in anticipation of Joshua’s performances in the past at invitationals and other competitions. Tonight was no different, as Joshua would be the last skater performing tonight.

The marketing team knew exactly what they were doing with that decision.

There were definitely fans of the other skaters dispersed throughout the stadium, but most people you saw were Joshua fans, carrying slogans and wearing merch with his name on it.

Some people even recognize you on the way up to the VIP section which throws you for a loop. They were mainly shocked that you were even at this kind of event in the first place, but it felt validating to be complimented for something outside of him.

Although the other skaters are highly entertaining to watch, your mind feels ready to see Joshua perform. Their performances are satisfying, but that particular spark is missing. It feels reminiscent of when you’d anxiously stay up to watch livestreams of his performances at 3 am, live updating your followers on the exact time when Joshua would be performing.

It was bittersweet to be able to watch him in person. It’s been years since you’ve watched him perform in the flesh, but the circumstances feel perfectly aligned.

“Performing Every moment of you, please welcome Joshua Hong,” The announcer’s voice booms through the stadium speakers and the stadium erupts into cheers. The sight of him waving to the camera is enough to leave the stadium in shambles, so his steps onto the ice are even more precious.

The pink top was the right choice now that he’s about to perform. He made you pick between a few options earlier in the day, but the sheer sleeves and pastel color match the mood perfectly. His side parted hair is neatly styled and light makeup highlights his soft features. The lighting really does his face justice as he purses his lips slightly, adjusting his head slightly down to enter his starting pose.

He moves a hand onto his heart and tucks his right leg behind his left.

As soon as the music starts, your heart clenches.

He chose this particular song, out of all his older routines. This song was in constant rotation throughout his first elite competition season, you could practically see it in your sleep.

When you watch him, you notice that the routine has barely changed either, the step sequences are just as smooth as you remember with delicate flairs of his new style.

The music is somehow more emotional than you remember, a sign that his artistry evokes such a vivid image that you can only think of him and this particular routine when you hear the song.

The execution of his combination jumps are flawless as always, and the audience agrees with loud applause every time he lands them. It seems as though he doesn’t have to try as he glides around the rink, a dreamy expression paints his face as he visibly connects with the lyrics.

He always transformed into a new character in every routine while still maintaining his own distinct style, it was something you deeply admired about his skating.

Before you know it, the song slowly comes to a close and Joshua stands in that final pose you remember so well, his face settling into a soft smile.

The crowd is absolutely obsessed with him, you look to see that many people were on their feet for a standing ovation. You immediately join in, looking toward his reaction. The cameras capture his shock, he’s pleasantly surprised by all the fanfare. He takes it in for another minute or so, looking up at the people in the stands with appreciative eyes. He finally bows his head and waves before skating off the ice.

When the entire group is called back onstage for final bows and the closing ceremony, he is once again dazzled by how intensely the crowd cheers for him once he’s introduced onstage. It’s precious to watch him try to shake it off with his hands on his face, looking to his fellow performers for a way to avoid the attention. He has always been appreciative of his support, always remaining humble in the face of his popularity constantly growing.

It doesn’t take as long as you expected for him to meet up with you. He asks you to wait in the hallway outside his dressing room, and he soon emerges; he barely lets you get a word out before enveloping you in a hug.

“What did you think?”

“I didn’t think you’d pick that one, honestly!” Your enthusiasm quiets when he kisses you and you suddenly feel acutely aware of the staff around you. He notices your shyness and pulls himself against your ear again.

“We’ll be alone soon, okay? I’m glad you liked it,” He punctuates his sentence with a kiss on the cheek. It made you relax into his touch and hold your hand while you were still in the venue.

Once outside, he lets go to briefly wave at the crowd of his fans before placing his hand on the small of your back.

You hear the gasps when he does it, but you don’t look back at the crowd. The judgment stays in your skin once you’re both escorted into the SUV, even when Joshua’s trying to get your attention with kisses to your hand.

“What are you thinking about, babe?”

“Nothing,” It’s easier to lie in the moment. He eyes you for a bit longer but ultimately doesn't question you any further.

You can’t tell him that everything feels especially temporary now. You know what it’s like to be on the opposite side of it as a fan, the initial feeling of seeing him make contact with a new romantic interest is always shocking. Neither of you owed them anything, you never had to reveal the depth of relationship if that’s what you both wanted.

He says he wants you, but that inevitable “what happens next” conversation hasn’t happened and you’re leaving in the next 48 hours. If there was any time to figure out the definition of your relationship, it was now.

Although the conversation in the bath last night was enlightening, you needed some kind of finality. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for vague promises anymore.

Will he make you a priority when his schedule is about to amp up even more?

If you needed to move on, you’d rather know now before you’re on another 13 hour flight left to your own devices.

—

You’re able to tag along with Joshua to his practice session with his coach on your last full day in town.

Although the conclusion of the trip takes up most of your brain space, it’s still interesting to watch his skating become informed by a new perspective. You couldn’t hear all of the critiques in detail, but it was enough to understand how Joshua’s energy was shaped through their leveled guidance.

He switched from his longtime coach once he broke his ankle, understandably citing that the old coach had pushed him to the point of collapse, no matter how grateful he may have been for his old coach’s support thus far.

The dynamic was far more supportive, you concluded. You were able to get more writing done, but your eyes drift to him more often than not.

He practices intensely for around 6 hours today, still a considerate amount of time considering the other practice days in his schedule. He didn’t appear distracted when you were watching him, but he was clearly eager to be alone with you again. He was practically pulling you into the front door once you arrived at his home.

He leads you upstairs to his bedroom before closing the door quickly.

“Kiss me,” His request is urgent, and you oblige despite feeling hesitant.

It’s best to just kiss him, to enjoy a good thing standing right in front of you while you have it.

He’s showing all his tells that he wants more than just kisses, cradling the back of your head, moaning into your mouth. It all still feels so enticing.

Yet, as always, he seems to notice something’s off before you can. He must notice the tension in your body that you tried your best to will away. He pulls out of the kiss and examines your eyes.

“Are you ok?” He’s slightly panting. You force yourself to close your eyes to steady your nerves.

“No,” you admit.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this, you know that.” He knows exactly what you mean by the way his shoulders drop. He looks nervous, not sure if he’s about to lose you.

“Why not? What would be so wrong about being with me?” He’s genuinely upset, fighting your answer almost instantly. Therein lies the problem, there’s nothing wrong about dating him as a person. It was simply the logistics that made everything far more complicated than your heart could bear.

“Nothing,” your voice trembles. “It would be great,” A tear falls from your eye and he’s already reaching up to wipe it away. You don’t stop him from touching your face.

“But I can’t be halfway across the world from you, I can’t watch you pretend to love me and then start dating someone else right in front of my face again.”

“You know dating Ara wasn’t my choice, I wouldn’t do that to you again,” His voice is strangely quiet.

Ara was a famous Korean actress who was practically a critic’s darling at this point in her career. She dated Joshua for 4 years, long enough for the Korean public to become absolutely enamored with the idea of them. The concept of Korea’s charming upcoming actress and Korea’s technical skating prince dating each other was obviously popular among netizens, so their sudden breakup was quite shocking.

Their conflicting schedules made it a perfect storm for them to stop speaking to each other.

It all ended very publicly, but somehow Joshua was still beloved in the end. He always was.

At a work gala he was the guest of honor for, he told you that he wanted to be with you over drinks. There were many kisses exchanged in a secluded hallway, promises linger against your skin and you thought they were real.

She was his plus one, but he insisted that they were just friends.

You trusted him, and their relationship was announced a few days later. You were crushed, it made you regret ever thinking you could be more than a fan who simply pushed her luck.

“You stayed with her for 4 years, you loved her,” You persisted.

“No, I didn’t.”

“She said you did,” It bites harder than you expect, but it’s true. There were numerous interviews of her confirming the depths of their relationship. Whenever she mentioned him, there was always long-term commitment implied.

“I promise you I didn’t.” He squares his jaw as he insists on it being false.

“Why did you lie? Why didn’t you just let me down easy? You do it with literally every fan,” You shake your head, knowing exactly what he’s been through. You’ve seen the death threats, ultimatums, and invasive love offers that he’s received over the years. If he could handle that with grace, he could at least give you a proper response.

“You know you mean more to me than that,” He begged.

“If I mean more to you, then you shouldn’t have done it,” You respond. It’s selfish, you know it is.

“You can’t be fucking serious! It was to further my career, you of all people should know that,” He yelled. His voice doesn’t deter you, it simply makes you more determined.

“You could’ve fought back like you’ve done at any other point of your career. You should have fought for me,” You try to yell back but your voice falters again.

“This is me fighting for you, I want you,” He pleaded, moving closer to you out of desperation. Yet, you avoid his eye contact to close your eyes.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” You griped, shaking your head out of frustration. You hate that he’s dodging the question. You’ve seen him fight over much less, you’re not sure why he can’t recognize that he could’ve tried for you.

“You’re fighting me over hypotheticals, shit that hasn’t even happened yet.”

“You had another reason,” You state unremarkably, finally opening your eyes again. It was never a black or white situation, not with him.

“What?”

“You stayed with her for another reason.”

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and internally resets before looking at you again.

“I didn’t want you to feel tied to me. I already knew what people were saying about you because of me, I knew you didn’t want me overshadowing your career. I didn’t want to haunt you,” He seems desperate to make you see his side of it.

“But you did, from the moment I met you. I knew I’d never be able to get over you. I built up a picture of you in my mind for years, and you actually fit it. I was stupid enough to think that my dumb luck would actually let me date you,” You confessed. You lower your head by the time you finish speaking.

He didn’t seem to understand that the dynamic would’ve always been uneven between you, but you were willing to risk it.

“Y/N,” He starts.

“I was fucking devastated that I still needed you,” you interrupt him, “I was doing perfectly fine, but I knew I would regret not doing this interview. I let you in one last time, to see if it’d be different than before, but you’re not ready. You’re still not ready and it was my fault for expecting too much of you.”

The silence is loud, you both have to process all of the feelings stirred up between you.

“I’m sorry.”

You’re not sure if that’s enough.

“Just indulge me for a second, do you love me?” You ask desperately.

He doesn’t speak. He looks torn, as if he wants to but something deep inside himself still hesitated to admit it. It confirms your worst fear, that even when there’s no other obstacles in the way, he can’t be what you need.

You scoff, wiping your face once again.

“Thanks for letting me stay here, I guess,” You walk back to your room and shut the door behind you. You unconsciously listen for any movement outside the door, to see if he would chase after you.

He doesn’t.

He does a variety of tasks in the kitchen, you hear running water and the sound of cabinet doors shutting, but he never approaches the door.

The kitchen light turns off and you hear his bedroom door shut.

You’re honestly glad he left you alone, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

As you settle into bed, you remember that he wanted to drive you to the airport tomorrow.

You’d rather walk the entire way than let him see you like this.

—

Joshua is an idiot, all things considered.

It was right there, he had the chance to tell you everything and give you his entire heart, but the words were stuck in his throat. He can barely go to sleep that night, but he could at least send you off to the airport the next morning.

It was wishful thinking that the drive would be any less painful, but he could at least fulfill his promise of taking you there. Thus, he doesn’t expect the guest room to be empty when he stumbles out of his room to go make himself breakfast.

He’s suddenly on high alert, thinking of all the things that could’ve possibly happened to you.

His internal monologue stops when he sees a note downstairs on the kitchen counter. He picks it up and curses under his breath.

“Changed my flight, your driver took me to the airport. Thanks again for letting me stay. - Y/N”

The message feels so stiff, it lacks any of your personality. Yet, he couldn’t pity himself for too long, he had to find you.

He had no idea if your flight had already taken off or not, but he at least had a location. Your original flight wasn’t until late afternoon, so he figured you must have been really fed up to change it to a mid-morning flight. The anger you felt transcended your hatred of mornings, and that was enough to really get Joshua moving.

He decided to stick with the clothes he had on to minimize the amount of time in the house. He wasn’t sure if it was smart to buy an impulse ticket for a flight he wasn’t going on, but he did it anyway.

As he sat in his car, he wasn’t sure if he locked the front door, but the adrenaline made him forget altogether.

The drive to the airport was a complete blur, he was certain that he blew through a few just-turned-red lights in an effort to get there. Once he arrives, he is anything but discreet.

He thanks his lucky stars that he gets a short security line so that he can run through the airport to find you. He only stops to check the massive flight board for flights to your city before picking up the pace again, almost running into a few people on the way.

He just had to make it to gate 12.

He spots the gate out of the corner of his eye, almost missing it due to his haste. He scans his eyes quickly across the group of people to see if you could possibly be there.

He’s almost given up on searching for you, but just like the movies, he finds you sitting in the corner wearing that particular writing hoodie.

He knows whatever way he chooses to approach you, it’ll scare you. Yet, he opts for the least terrifying option.

He walks over, taking a small breath before speaking up.

“Hi,” It comes out far too hesitant, but it still gets your attention. You look up at him, evidently confused but annoyance shows up quicker.

“What are you doing here?” You’re not moved at all, he felt like an inconvenience.

“We need to talk. Can I sit with you?” He points to the empty chair and you stare at him for a moment. You quietly oblige, giving a quick nod. You didn’t reject him outright, so that’s a win in his book.

“I’m really sorry about last night. I should’ve told you how I felt,” His voice is hushed so as to not disturb anyone else around you. Most people were sitting further away, but he didn’t want to take any chances. You only look forward, not acknowledging him at all.

“I thought about everything and you were right to be worried. I haven’t shown you that you can trust me to commit,” He continues.

“Whatever you want to do, that’s fine. I just,” He stops his train of thought to take a breath.

“I love you. I should’ve told you the moment you asked me, I should’ve told you the first day you came to town. I always knew,” He finishes with a shaky breath. You both sit in silence for longer than he’d like, but it’s understandable. Your longtime crush lets you down then admits he’s loved you for ages, it’s a lot for anyone to process.

“Joshua?”

He turns to face you. “Yeah?”

“That was corny as fuck,” You let out a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. He’s happy to see you smile for a bit, even if it’s at his expense.

“I know, I just needed to tell you before you left,” He laughs quietly. It covers up the temporary embarrassment he feels. No matter what you tell him, he figures that it was worth it to put everything on the line.

“I forgive you, though. And I love you too,” You smile through the reply and your voice is the softest he’s ever heard it.

The newness of it all makes him blush.

“Still can’t look at me, huh? Do I make you nervous?” He touches your shoulder in a silent plea for you to let him in.

“Fuck off,” You finally make eye contact with him and grab his hand, fingers automatically intertwined with his. You press the back of his hand to your mouth for a kiss. The gesture quiets all his lingering fears.

“I’m not relocating for you though, I like my apartment and my job,” You give him a pointed look.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that. Plus I told you I’m trying to slow down, remember?” The realization hits your face and it makes him giggle.

“Does that mean you’re moving in with me?”

“It might,” He suggests. He thinks he’s a pretty decent roommate, but he’d change his bad habits in a heartbeat if it meant you were more comfortable.

“Not before the Olympics though. And you’d need to sell the house, right?”

“Yeah. Shit, you’re really getting ahead of me here,” He didn’t really consider all the details yet, especially thinking about how shocked his management team would be at the decision, but he knew you were too good to lose.

He lived enough of his life without you, and it was time to switch things up.

“Just making sure you’re aware of what all of this would mean,” You remind him. It was a completely fair critique considering how many directions his life was currently being pulled in.

“Of course, but I’m coming to visit before I move. Many times,” He’s already mentally planning out a schedule in his head, plotting out weekend getaways and week-long trips just to spend time with you again.

“You won’t have your own room though, sorry,” You sigh in fake concern.

“I think we can make that work,” He assured you with a smile.

“I still can’t believe you bought a fucking plane ticket to get past security to come find me. You’re insane,” You shake your head at him in disbelief.

“Your boyfriend is insane,” He stresses the term, “and it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t let you get away like that.”

You both talk for a while, just drinking in each other’s presence as a new couple. While you’re recounting your metal detector encounters, it hits him that he doesn’t know when he’ll see you again.

Everything keeps getting busier between the two of you, and the possible timeframe of him moving seems further and further away with each passing moment.

He desperately wants to slow everything down in his career immediately, for all of his responsibilities to be taken care of for him.

The boarding process begins and he’s wistful, he didn’t think it would hurt so deeply to let you go home. He pulls you into a tight hug, his head nestled into the crook of your neck. “I love you so much, baby,” His voice wavers.

“Don’t fucking cry, you’ll make me cry,” You whisper, curling into his body even further. It makes him smile despite the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’ll see you soon, okay? I promise,” He attempts to steady his voice, but it’s no use. The moment he has the love of his life, you’re already leaving.

You lean back and press your lips to his, you move as quickly as time permits. It’s not the kiss he wants, but it’s enough to sate him.

He pulls away first, kissing your cheek before standing back to get a good look at you.

“Now go, they’re about to finish up your section,” He pointed to the gate with a watery laugh, finally wiping his cheeks from the tears.

You wave one last time as your ticket gets scanned and you’re no longer in view.

He’s not ready to go back to an empty house, one without you sitting on the couch bundled up in his blankets, staring at your computer with squinted eyes. He’s not ready to fall asleep without you next to him and wake up the next day knowing you wouldn’t be up until midday.

You’ve worked your way into his life and he can’t picture another second without you in it.

He decides that whenever you’re available to talk on the phone, you would plan his first visit.

That was the only way he could cope with the time and distance that seemed impossible to cross.

—

The Joshua profile is edited and completed in due time, somehow without losing your sanity.

Joshua is always sending you his edits, many of which are rejected the moment he comments them. Yet, you promise him that he can have input on another piece.

Once it’s approved through final edits, the profile is received well, all things considered. While there are unavoidable critiques, it still resonates with fans and writers alike. It goes considerably less viral than your other content with him, but viral nonetheless. It gets another boost in attention when Joshua reveals your relationship to the public exactly two months after it’s posted, and people are now re-examining the profile for signs of love blooming in between the lines.

These recent post-profile interviews he did were keeping you company during your downtime after work. You’d find yourself watching them on your laptop in bed, craving the sound of his voice when he was caught up in practice. He told you to watch this one specifically when it was uploaded though, so you decided to listen to him.

“So we have to talk about your relationship and the article,” The late night host segues into the new topic and Joshua handles it with ease.

“Of course,” He’s nodding along.

“So you fall in love with one of your biggest fans and do this reunion interview after 10 years? What’s the whole story?”

“Well, she’s been a fan of mine for my entire career and we first met when she made this viral blog post about me qualifying for my first Olympics,” He recounts the story for what feels like the millionth time, but you still eat it up every time. He has an exact script that you can almost know how he’ll phrase it.

“We film an interview and that goes even more viral, like 20 million views or something crazy,” He stops to laugh for a moment and the audience laughs along with him.

“We met up a few times over the years, but I finally suggested we do something for the 10 year anniversary of the interview. That’s how it all came together,” He nods with a grin.

“That’s amazing, is there anything you want to tell her?”

He looks directly into the camera and takes a breath. “Just that I miss you and love you very much,” His voice softens and the audience lights up with applause. He blows a kiss to the camera before the host switches topics once again, moving on to more Olympics talk for the rest of the video.

The declaration of love is simple, he’s not the kind of guy to make these big sweeping gestures of love, but it’s more than enough for you. You send him a quick text approving of the video and your heart is extremely full.

He moves in right after the Olympics end, but he’ll have a chance to properly decompress from the competition. The anticipation is enough to almost drive you insane, but the wait will be worth it.

—

The Olympics are a complete blur, as expected. You try to enjoy other events during your time there, but the men’s individual skate is the only thing on your mind. Joshua tried to make things for you as comfortable as possible despite living in the designated Olympic Village. He always complained that he wasn’t able to see you by sending you lots of heartfelt texts, but you teased him that he just needed to focus on competition.

Joshua won the gold medal, as expected by numerous sports networks and prediction experts.

You knew he’d win too, obviously.

Although he performed last in the final group, moving his rank down to 5th before his free skate performance, his final showing put him 10 full points above 2nd place.

Your boyfriend, who has been swept up in podium ceremonies, post-skate interviews, and a celebratory dinner is finally alone with you in your hotel room and you intend to make the most of it.

“Congratulations,” You’re practically yelling in his ear as he smothers you in a hug, clutching the back of your head. He’s free of the costume and makeup from earlier in the night, even his team tracksuit was exchanged for an old shirt and shorts.

“Thank you, baby,” His response is muffled against your shirt. You pull away to admire his face for a moment before leaning in for a deep kiss.

He’s feeling just as desperate as you are, swiping his tongue into your mouth with ease. It’s been so long since you’ve had a chance to just kiss him, let alone see him for more than a few minutes at a time. There were still press circuits and endless events for him to attend, but for a moment he was simply your gold medalist.

You barely come up for air for the next few minutes, getting all of the long distance reunion induced kisses out of your system. You step away to breathe against his neck and collect your thoughts.

“I’m so proud of you, like I was fully sobbing in my seat after the scores.”

“You were?” He questions, eyes widening.

“Of course, you’ve worked so hard to get here after everything. It makes me wanna cry all over again,” You’re so fond that it makes your heart swell for him.

“My poor baby, crying her eyes out over me like the good old days,” He coos.

“Yeah,” You let out a shaky laugh and wiped a stray tear from your eye. There were no ways to describe how it felt to watch the love of your life succeed from so many points of view, in some ways your relationship is a time capsule of your adolescence.

Joshua is simultaneously the object of your youth and the promise of a better future.

The journey is never lost on you, all of the time spent learning each other all over again reinvigorated your spirit.

“I’m ready to go home with you, I’m just so tired,” He whispers. The collective stress of the past few years is catching up with him now that the hardest part is over, that sense of normalcy needed to come sooner rather than later.

“I know, love. Just a few more days and we can sleep in as much as we want,” You think out loud, but he seems to like the idea as you cup his face in your hands. The tension melts from his face the longer you stay still and he lets out a quiet hum.

“Can we cuddle?”

“Of course,” You would’ve wanted to do it anyway, but you couldn’t say no to him in this state.

Once you both crawled onto the bed, he naturally put his head on your chest. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both fully relaxed into each other’s touch. The silence is needed after nonstop stimulation from the outside world.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.” He doesn’t hesitate this time, it's saturated with adoration for you. You feel the warmth on your cheeks and respond accordingly.

“I love you too.”

He sits up, staring at you with so much love in his eyes. He kisses you just to do it, but it’s perfectly fine by you.

You swear that you could live in this moment forever. There would always be deadlines approaching, endless amounts of work waiting for you, but these moments were too precious to take for granted.

There’s so much love for him in your body that it doesn’t know where to go, but you figure that you’ll find somewhere to place it within due time.

There’s no use in grieving wasted time when his love is nestled so neatly in your heart, allowing you to indulge in the infinite futures you’re able to build together.

He’s not going anywhere, there’s still time.

There will always be time.

#YALLLLLLL ITS DONEEEEEEE #I’m so fucking happy you have no idea #this is quite literally a novel so sorry lol #joshua smut #joshua fluff #joshua scenarios #joshua angst #joshua fic #svt fluff #svt smut #svt angst #seventeen smut

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freedomfireflies · 1 year

Note

I would love to read a blurb from you about H taking care of his newborn baby boy 🥺

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t—

Harry’s hands shake as he slowly reaches down into the bassinet to retrieve the tiny human screaming for his attention and care.

Truth be told, he’s honestly not sure which one of them he’s telling not to cry.

Nevertheless, the squirmy infant begins to wiggle in his large palms as he brings the child up toward his chest.

“It’s okay…it’s okay, you’re all right,” he whispers, doing his best to speak in his most soothing tone. “Another nightmare, huh? S’okay, I get it. I get them, too.”

There’s some wet cooing as Harry cups the child’s bottom and tucks them just under his chin, right over his racing heart.

He’d read that skin-on-skin contact is crucial for newborns to create a strong bond, so now he spends a majority of his time shirtless just in case the child needs that added comfort.

And if Harry is being honest with himself, he probably gets more comfort out of it than the baby.

After a moment, the fussing begins to subside, and Harry exhales the deep breath that had been caught in his lungs as he unwinds. Then, he moves for the rocking chair in the corner of the room, gingerly taking a seat as the baby begins to fidget in his hold.

“Okay, it’s okay,” he murmurs, swaying them back and forth. “It’s all right, I’ve got you. Daddy’s got you.”

The sweet baby brings its tiny thumb to its mouth, tucking it between small, pouted lips as it begins to settle.

“There you go,” Harry says, lashes fluttering as he looks down. “I know, it’s hard to sleep without her. Especially when it’s all you’ve ever known…”

There’s a catch in Harry’s throat as he glances back up, eyes falling to the side of the bed where she used to lay.

It’s been three weeks. Only three weeks since Harry had to come home from the hospital alone, and he has absolutely no idea how he’s made it this far.

He doesn’t sleep. Which isn’t unusual for new parents, but it goes deeper than that. He doesn’t sleep because he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know how to sleep in a bed she’s no longer in.

And he doesn’t eat, either. Because he can’t stand to go into the same kitchen she used to love. The same kitchen she used to spend each of her Sunday mornings in as she cooked them pancakes and listened to French music.

He doesn’t go out. He doesn’t leave their house. He’s a stranger to the outside world and apart from when his mother comes over to babysit, he doesn’t talk to anyone.

It’s just him and the baby now.

And he doesn’t exactly want that to change. He doesn’t want to lose these moments because at least he can pretend that he still has her.

She’s everywhere. Her memory lives within this house. Within their child. He can see her in the baby’s eyes. In the way it tries to smile or reach out and grab onto his thumb when it needs him close by.

And it breaks his heart because their baby will never hear the sound of her laugh or feel her reassuring touch.

He has no idea if he’ll be enough. If he can give this child the life it deserves or the love he knows she would have given them.

He can only do what she would want him to.

His best.

“She loved you so much,” Harry whispers, cheek pressing into the baby’s head. “So, so much. The last thing she ever did was hold you and tell you she loved you. You were the most important thing in the world to her.”

The child only coos as it slips back into a dream-like state, still curled up against Harry’s bare chest as he rocks them back and forth.

Harry smiles. “It’s you and me now, okay? Us against the world. Us. Always.”

He means that more than he's ever meant anything in his life.

And that’s a promise he doesn’t plan to break.

It's short, I know, but I AM planning a second part so I can explore all the other amazing ideas you guys sent in, I promise!!

Thank you again so much to the original anon, and I hope you don't mind that I changed a couple tiny details! 😭💞

~ Other Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

#harry #harry edward styles #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fan #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles request #harry styles x reader #harry styles baby #harry styles baby request

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writersblockedx · 2 years

Text

Just Being Neighbourly

Pairing - Pre-death!Tate Langdon x Fem!Reader Summary - The two have been neighbours for some years now, yet Tate can't help but make his move. Warnings - None, I don't think, just a lot of fluff! Words - 1.6K

A/n - It’s October which means I’ve been re-watching AHS and couldn’t help but write a tate fic after finishing murder house!

Masterlist

It was always a mystery living in the house across from the Langdons. They were strange people, Y/n's mother would say coming home late from work after getting reeled into conversation with Constance. Or sometimes Y/n would catch the young boy, whom she knew to be Tate from school, leaving the house in the early hours of the morning.

It was them hours when she would be intruded by the thoughts to follow after to him, to yell his name. They were barely even acquaintances, they would be classed as strangers if it were the fact they knew the other's name. But, for whatever reason, Y/n couldn't help the feeling to make sure he was okay in them midnight hours. Yet, every time them thoughts surface, she'd bypass them, tell herself it was none of her business and return to trying to sleep herself.

It had been one random weekend when things began to change. She'd been standing at the bus stop at the end of the road for a bus that was already five minutes late. Her legs chilly with the autumn breeze that passed, yet she had no choice but to bare it in anticipation for the vehicle which was due. She'd been so focused on trying to spot the bus, she had never even clocked that Tate was wandering up to her.

His hands in his pockets, surely to keep his own palms warm, and a slick smile smothering his expression. "Hey," His soft tone reached her ears, almost making her jump - something of which she was successful in concealing as she turned to face Tate.

She too flashed a grin. Y/n tried hard to make sure it wasn't too much, but at the same time, that it wasn't too little. They were neighbours after all - they had to be neighbourly. But, Y/n also didn't want him getting any other ideas. Well, that part she wasn't quite sure of yet. "Hi, Tate, you alright?" She asked him.

"You don't have to make small talk." He chuckled and they both felt a wave of relief from his words. "We're not our mothers. You know, pretending to make small talk as if we don't hate each."

Her eyes narrowed and she swayed on her feet in curiosity. "How do you know my mother doesn't like yours?" She queried with a cheeky glint in her pupils that they both seemed to share.

"Because I've met my mother. I happen to live with her." He replied.

"Sounds torturous." Y/n didn't know the half of it. "Are you saying we secretly hate each other?" She then asked with the quirk of a brow.

He shrugged and took a moment to reply as if debating if he should even speak at all. "Do you? Hate me?"

Her head shook the moment the words slipped passed his lips, "No, of course not. What gave you that idea?"

Again, he was hesitant. Y/n couldn't know for sure, but this seemed like a concern which had been haunting him for awhile now. "You don't speak to me at school. Like when we pass in the hallways, or in class." He shrugged as if his tone wasn't dripping in heavy emotion he seemed to have been holding onto.

"Niether do you, Tate." She said with a slither of a smile. Had she known her apathy towards him was causing such concern, she would have done something about it.

"So you don't...hate me?"

She grinned back at him like she did the first time. "Course not." She told him, looking back at the road to spot the bus which was soon approaching.

Neither of them said anything as it gained closer until it stopped. Y/n got on first, swirling back to face Tate when he made no move to get onto the bus. "You not getting on?" She questioned with knitted brows.

A slick smirk was plastered against his lips, "I'm not getting a bus." He winked, the doors shut and the bus started moving again. There was one question that soon rung around Y/n's mind: if he wasn't getting on the bus, what had he been doing standing at the bus stop?

There was one thing that came out of that unexpected conversation: Y/n started noticing Tate at school. In the beginning, she'd started to smile at him in the hallways, he'd always smile back. Then it was a 'good morning' as they passed, or whispered in class. Before Y/n even realised it, she was looking for him in the crowds. She wished she'd bump into him, that they'd meet eyes and have an excuse to talk again.

There came a day where she just couldn't bare it anymore. Weeks had passed and while they were friendly, she craved for more. She was seated in the library, surrounded by a few friends. Y/n had a good amount of work to do - as her teachers kept reminder her - but her eyes wouldn't dare peel from the curly-haired boy sat two tables down from her.

Tate always sat alone. Sometimes it was because he simply wanted to do, other times it was because there wasn't a second option. At this time, he was completing some much over-due work, headphones over his ears which drowned out the chatter of the mindless teenagers around him. But it also drowned out Y/n. He was utterly unaware of her presence. Had he been, he probably would have made an effect to catch a glimpse of eye contact for the third time today. Alas, Y/n took matters into her own hands.

Without alerting her friends, she gathered herself from the table she was seated at and wandered over to Tate's. She didn't say anything till she sat in the chair across from him. Still with his music blasting, Tate had no idea of his new company. Well, not until she carefully snatched his Biology book from under him. Then his head snapped upwards, instantly flashing a smile as his gaze found Y/n.

"Ooo," She hummed as she took his text book, "Biology, must be a rough day."

He tucked his headphones off, letting them sit around his neck. "It's not that bad." He shrugged; certainly not his least favourite subject there was.

"Have to argue with you on that one." She quirked, sliding the book back towards him.

"Really? You struggling with an academic subject? Doesn't sound like you." He spoke as if he knew her ever so deeply.

She leaned in slightly, finding her chin fitting in the cup of her palm as she stared affectionately to the boy seated across from her. "And who told you that?" She questioned.

"Well, your mom told mine that you're an exceptional student." He chuckled with his words.

"That is true, except for biology." Y/n explained before a cheeky glint emerged in her eyes. "You know, if you'd be happy to, you could always help me out a little." She was testing the waters. She wasn't sure what had happened that day at the bus stop, but it had flickered some light in her which was still crackling and urging for more.

Tate laughed again, his doe-eyes meeting hers, "I can't believe you're asking me for help." He paused and her smile grew. "But, of course, I'll help you."

And so they arranged a time the next day to study over the subject. They met after school at her house. Despite being neighbours for a good few years, Tate had never in fact been at Y/n's house. But, as he was directed up stairs to her bedroom, he remembered thinking that it was exactly as he had expected it to look. Especially, when it came to her room.

"Do you have your text books?" Questioned Tate as they sat at either end of the bed, soon becoming surrounded by papers.

Y/n played in with knitted brows as she listen intently to the blond boy explain the carbon cycle. A topic which was easily a boring one, yet Y/n was more enticed than ever. "Do you get it?" Tate asked, seemingly snapping her out of her awe.

She nodded, "Pretty much yeah." Tate didn't reply. Instead, he plastered on an adoring smile as their eyes intertwined with one another. "What?" Y/n finally giggled when the silence went on for too long.

"You just-" He looked away for a moment. "You stare a lot." He looked back. Their smiles never faded.

The girl shrugged, "I like how you explain things." There was a glint glistening in her pupil that left Tate questioning what was about to follow.

She was already leaning in when Tate responded, "That's a good thing, I guess." He never shuddered as she got closer. Yet, he could never excuse the shivers which electrocuted his spine as their lips finally touched.

They pulled from one another, their foreheads lingering, yet not daring to touch. Tate still had his eyelids closed when Y/n opened hers. He was savouring the moment. Even if he knew the feelings were certainly reciprocated. Once they finally flickered open, Y/n admitted, "I actually have an A in Bio."

They both giggled. They both knew this wasn't the last. That, despite her A in Bio, there would be more study dates, more kisses and they would become more than just neighbours.

Everything - @alexxavicry @Emily-roberts @starrryskiees @m4nulup1n Want to get notified next time I post? Click here to get added to a taglist!

#tate #tate langdon #tate langdon x reader #tate langdon imagine #tate langdon x you #tate langdon x y/n #tate x reader #tate imagine #tate langdon oneshot #tate langdon fanfic #ahs #ahs imagine #ahs x reader #american horror story #american horror story fanfic #x reader #fanfiction #imagine

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creadigol · 3 months

Text

Hey y’all! Here’s a little snippet of something that was rattling in my mind. Hope y’all like!

It can be complicated to make sense of family. Hero knew this. Hero had always known this. With how their life was growing up Hero doubted there were many who could understand this concept as well as they did.

But this was just ridiculous.

“The answer is still no,” Hero tried very hard to keep their voice level and calm.

“Seriously? I don’t understand what your problem is!”

The voice over the phone held the tone of one who had already decided they were right and there was no chance of changing.

“It’s not that I have a problem…which I don’t,” Hero ground out. “It’s that I just don’t feel like inviting him.”

“And why not?”

Hero resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of their nose. One, it was a bad habit which showed how frustrated they were; and two, it would loosen their mask. God, couldn’t their sibling have called earlier? Hero really didn’t feel like having this conversation on the roof of a bank at 11pm.

“I don’t need a reason. It’s my call and I don’t want him there. End of story.”

“No, not end of story! This is completely unfair! Why am I always the one trying to hold this family together? You think it’s easy being the responsible one when…”

Hero let the rant commence as they held the phone a few inches from their ear, Sibling gradually getting louder and more hurtful with each word. They looked up at the star bedazzled sky and tried to tune them out until they could jump back in again.

It’s not that Sibling was wrong, it’s just that Hero could only take being called absent and holier than thou so many times. It was the same speech every time a major event happened in Hero’s life. And at the end of every speech, Hero always caved and let Sibling invite the whole family…well not this time.

‘...and out of everyone, you of all people should take the high road on this…”

That did it.

“Me of all people? Why? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Dammit, I’m tired of being the one to take the high road! For once would it kill him to apologize? Or better yet, clean up his fucking act?!”

Sibling was making sputtering noises on the line when another voice joined Hero on the roof.

“Well, I must say I’ve never heard words like this before coming from our fair Hero.”

Hero froze, their sibling yelling into the receiver, and turned.

Villain stood, arms folded, looking incredibly smug.

“I’m going to have to call you back,” Hero said softly. They hung up before Sibling could protest.

Shit, they would hear about that later.

Villain sauntered closer, “Having a little domestic are we? I’ve never seen you that agitated before.”

Hero glared, “Coming to rob the bank?”

Villain chuckled.

“I was, but this is so much more interesting. Come on, what’s happening in the world of the Golden Hero?”

“None of your business,” Hero stood tall. “Now are you breaking the law or not? I have a long patrol tonight.”

“Oh yes, I heard you were taking the long shift tonight. Something about needing time off…wait…that couldn’t be what you were arguing about on the phone was it? Vacation plans gone wrong?”

Hero felt a vein popping in their forehead.

“Why must you alway insist on being a prick? And why do you know my shift schedule?”

Villain shrugged noncommittally, “I have people.”

They walked right into Hero’s space, doing their best to intimidate with their towering stature. Hero refused to move and met their gaze head on.

“You’ve never taken a break before.” Villain stated.

“Never needed to until now,” Hero responded as if Villain had asked a question.

Villain gave them a once over.

“What’s the need?”

God, was Villain always this infuriating?

“Like I said, none of your business. I’m sure you’ll survive a substitute hero for the next few weeks.”

Villain frowned, “Few weeks? That’s a lengthy time.”

Hero rolled their eyes and nodded. They weren’t falling for Villain’s way of fishing for information by not actually asking a question.

“A few weeks and a family member who’s not welcome…if I’m to interpret that phone call correctly. My, my, what do you have planned?” Villain finally took a few paces back to lean on the wall, “Can’t say I’m too thrilled. Other Hero’s are such tight-asses.”

“If you mean that I’m lenient then, yes, they’re not as nice as I am,” Hero smirked.

Villain outright laughed.

“I would describe you as many things Hero, but straight up nice has never been one of them. Seriously, why the vacation? Family reunion or something?”

If Hero’s Sibling had anything to say on the matter it would be.

“Not as such,” Hero relaxed their stance now that Villain was a few paces away. That and it seemed Villain was more in a talking mood tonight. It was rare that they just talked rather than taking on their usual ‘Hero vs Villain’ roles. Rare, but it had happened a handful of times over the course of the last four years. Whether this was professional or not, Hero chose not to think about.

Villain folded their arms in thought, “Birthday? No, yours is in March…A celebration for another medal from the Mayor? No, he’s out of town until next month…” Hero tried hard not to smile as Villain ticked each possibility off their fingers, “Oh I know! You’ve finally graduated high school!”

Now Hero did laugh. It was a running joke with them and Villain’s Henchman that Hero must be younger than they seemed due to their young sound voice. Of course there was no way to tell due to the mask, but Hero estimated they were about the same age as Villain. Something they were sure Villain had put together as well seeing as the Hero Agency didn’t employ anyone under the age of 21.

It didn’t stop the quips though.

“Afraid I did that long ago,” Hero supplied.

“Well then I’m at a loss,” Villain got up and leaned into Hero’s space once more. “Other than medical leave I can’t think of anything else. And I assume you wouldn’t be fighting about invitees if convalescence was your goal.”

“Guess you’ll just have to live with uncertainty,” Hero shrugged and turned to leave the roof. Before they could take a couple of steps a hand was on their arm.

“You really not going to tell?” Villain asked softly. “You seemed upset and not the kind of upset like when you're on the job.”

Hero felt their heart rate increase and their cheeks warm. Why did Villain have to go and ask like that? How could they go from the city’s terror to a caring person with humanity and feelings? Perhaps Hero could tell them…the event was happening down in the Bahamas anyway. Not like Villain could figure it out…

It would be nice to talk to someone not expecting anything from them.

“I have a celebration happening and I don’t want my father to be there…it’s caused rather a ruckus in my family.”

Villain’s hand remained on Hero’s arm. “Well, if it’s your celebration it’s your choice. I don’t see why anyone else should be involved.”

Hero laughed and patted their hand. “And you’ve just summarized the entire argument I’ve been having for the past month.”

Villain released their arm. “I’m smart like that.”

Hero nodded with a warm smile. They turned towards the fire escape.

“Seeing as how you don’t seem to be robbing the bank, I have places to be,” They turned so they were facing Villain while standing on the ladder. “Thanks Villain. I’ll see you in a few weeks if you manage to keep yourself alive.”

“Say that to your replacement hero.” Villain hesitated, “Hero?”

Hero popped their head up from their descent, “Yeah?”

“What is the celebration?”

Hero smiled softly at them.

“I’m getting married,” they whispered.

And then they were gone. Down the fire escape and into the night.

Villain stood stunned, not knowing why the words made their heart freeze and their eyes water.

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i9messi · 10 months

Note

mason mount x enchanted🙏🏻 he is so taylor coded

Enchanted — Mason Mount

After being a regular customer, the owner of the coffee shop tries to get you a cute boyfriend. That's how you met Mason.

Word count — 1,2k

mason's masterlist

You took your eyes off your phone as you gazed at the cafeteria owner approaching you. Sally was a very kind and nice old woman, she was the first person who had made you feel comfortable entering her store. She always had time to get close to you and ask how you were feeling. Ever since you met that coffee shop, the woman had become like a grandmother to you.

The woman’s eyes settled on the empty place in front of you. "Will you ever come with a handsome man?"

"Is that your way of asking me if I’m still single, Sally? Yeah, I’m still single and I don’t think that’s gonna magically change."

Sally smiled, you could easily tell she was thinking of something else. When the woman had something in her head, it was impossible for her to change her mind. She was too stubborn.

"If you let me, I’ll get you a boyfriend."

"Sally, what? How?"

"There is a customer who comes here all the time and is very friendly. He is handsome and kind, he seems to be someone I would love to meet if I were your age. So it’s your chance. I asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said no, he’s single. He’s perfect for you."

You thought for a while and breathed, What could go wrong? You weren’t denied dating and meeting people, you’d just been so busy with other things in your life, that your love life had generally taken a back seat. Besides, Sally was a good woman and you were sure she wouldn’t throw you into any man’s arms.

"Okay. What’s his name?"

Sally smiled triumphantly.

"His name is Mason and he’s right there."

You followed his finger, noticing a man looking in your direction. Well, you didn’t imagine that Sally was talking about meeting him at that exact moment. So when you saw him get up and come up to you, you freaked out a little. Everything vanished when you saw his face. Mason was handsome, too handsome, so you didn’t know how to react to his presence.

The man stopped in front of Sally and you, the owner of the cafeteria didn't stop smiling.

"Hi." he ended the uncomfortable silence.

"Hi."

"Well, I’ll leave you two alone." the old lady looked at you one last time and winked at you, while whispering a 'tell me everything later'.

"Okay, this is awkward." Finely you said, once you were alone. Mason had sat in the chair in front of you.

"If it’s too awkward I can leave, as if this never happened. Although it’s a shame, I would have loved to meet you."

"No, it’s okay. Stay."

Mason had a smile like spring, but his eyes were autumn with a hint of passing summer.

"Do you come here often?" you asked, because you thought you never saw him before. A face like his was hard to forget.

"I usually come very early in the morning, I’m Sally’s first customer every day."

"I come in the evenings. That must be the reason I’ve never seen you before."

"Well, I’ve never seen you in person, but Sally has told me a lot about you. I’ve practically known you since the first moment she mentioned you."

You grimaced, "I hope she said good things about me and nothing too embarrassing."

"Don’t worry, she has mentioned great things about you. I was the one who told her I’d like to meet you. She just gave me a little help."

"You wanted to meet me?"

"Yes. Now I don't regret, you are as I imagined."

You felt your cheeks warm. Mason genuinely looked like a nice guy and as much as you didn’t know him very well yet, you were enchanted to meet him. Who knew that by meeting someone this day you would change your mind?

Sally reappeared, "What do you want to drink? Same as always?"

"I have an idea, I order a drink for you and you order one for me."

You looked at Mason with a half-closed eye, unsure of his idea.

"Are you sure? I don’t take care of my bad choices."

"I’ll take my chances."

You and Mason started a casual conversation, then he told you about him and you told him about you and your life. The british listened to you very carefully and asked questions when something was interesting for him. Sally appeared again with her cups of hot drinks and the two joked a little, although your choices were right and you liked what you had chosen.

There were no boring or awkward moments, you could laugh like never before and act casually in his presence. Mason was polite, gentle and attentive. He was a gentleman. Now you understood Sally completely, the woman had practically thrown you into his arms and you have no regrets. You were wonderstruck.

"I think we have something special, don’t you think?"

Mason pointed out and you were glad that he would mention that. There was an incredible connection between you, something you didn’t want to end.

You smiled, "Can you feel it too?"

He nodded his head.

"Are you sure we’ve never met before?"

"I’m sure I’d remember you, Mason."

"I’d remember you too."

Sally appeared abruptly for a third time and Mason took his eyes off you, to focus on the old lady. The woman was very smiling, much more than she had been at the time when she introduced you to Mason.

"I know you’re having a good time, but all the customers are gone and it’s too late."

You looked at the watch on your wrist. It had been more than half an hour since the cafeteria used to close. Sally had just kept it open so that you could continue to know each other and not disrupt the chemistry between you and him.

"I must go now, it’s late."

"Let me walk you home. I’d feel better if I knew you got back safe."

Could man be more gentle? He was like a prince and looked like one.

"I would be glad, Mason."

You said goodbye to Sally and both walked to your home, which was not far from that cafeteria. You walked in a comfortable silence, which became too brief. When you least expected it, you were already at the door of your house. You had to say goodbye and you felt a little sorry. You had had a beautiful afternoon and you wanted to see him again.

"So... it was enchanting to meet you, Mason."

Mason kept smiling. The stars were shining in his eyes.

"Let me have another date with you, I don’t want it to end. It was magical."

You nodded and he took out his cell phone. You took it and wrote down your number. Once you were done, you passed the mobile to Mason. He took it in his own hands and put it in his pants. Mason stepped forward and you looked at him. You wanted to kiss him, you wanted him to kiss you. But all you did was look at each other. The time didn’t exist, it was just you two there.

"I think this is the part where you’re meant to kiss me."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

Mason did not hesitate to approach you and join his lips with yours in a kiss. When your lips joined, you knew that was the beginning of a beautiful story. This was the first page and your thoughts will echo his name, until you see him again.

#mason mount drabble #mason mount x reader #mason mount fluff #mason mount imagine #mason mount #mount #mason mount one shot #mason mount imagines #mason mount one shots

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loviingpedri · 5 months

Text

tolerate it - k. mbappe

prompt: when has your relationship become so low?

warnings: toxic!mbappe, cursing, arguments, fighting, mostly angst, grammar issues, subtle fluff at end (not much)

credits to owners for all images

your relationship with mbappe has been going on for a solid two years. the silence and distance have never been bigger. the gap was starting to turn both of you crazy. during dinner, it would be silent as he read and ate. you sat and watched him ignore you.

has his career grown so much that he doesn’t care about you anymore? you try your best with him. you cook for him, set the table for him, you clean for him.

but he only tolerates it.

was there something wrong? you weren’t sure. there was no type of communication with him. if you tried, he would shrug you off. you always continue to think you weren’t good enough for him. you use to listen to whatever he said. it was always going to be about him.

“kylian, how was your day today?” you cut your potatoes with shaky hands. this was the first time you attempted to have a decent conversation with him. and you weren’t going to stop until more then 10 sentences are said.

“it was fine.” he continued to read and scroll on whatever he’s looking at on his phone.

you cleared your throat. he didn’t even ask how you were. or comment on how good the food was, or how bad it was. he just tolerated it. no feelings were ever expressed from him.

“yeah, my day was also fine. do you like the new plates? i changed it up to the fancy shit.” you smiled a little bit, hoping to see him glance up at you for once. he was only tolerating it.

he did a small ‘mhm’ and kept eating.

“how’s the food?” your legs started bouncing. this wasn’t going up to plan.

he sighed in annoyance. “what’s going on with you today? you’re talking so much. just shut up and eat, okay? no need for all of this.” he finally fully talked to you. he finally looked at you. although, this was different. he looked and talked to you in the worst way possible.

you looked down at your food. your eyes started to blur from the water wanting to burst out. you bit your lip to stop it from quivering.

his ego was getting to him. he was always known as the famous kylian mbappe, but where were you in his story? he lifted you up to show the world how much your support means to him. now, you were just like a random person who he happened to know. someone who was always going to be viewed as under his power and control.

where was the old mbappe? the one who held you while you were cold. the one who fed you soup while you were sick. the one who protected you from all the danger. this mbappe only tolerated your love and his love was no longer existent for you. he was gleaming and glistening in the world, while you were just an accessory that didn’t seem to match.

“y/n. you didn’t answer my question. what the fuck happened today? why all of a sudden you want to be quiet?” his words were like fire. you were a glacier, melting and disappearing as the fire kept going. his ‘love’ is intolerable.

“nothing happened.” you sat up and collected your dishes. you walked to the kitchen as kylian followed you. as you put your dishes in the sink, he grabbed your arm.

“just answer already. you’re playing so hard to get. all of this shit is so unnecessary.”

you looked at him in disbelief. your eyes were losing at suppressing the tears. “have i done something wrong to you? you barely talk to me anymore. kyky, you’re losing me. your words are like daggers in my chest. i know my love should be celebrated. you only tolerate it. i can’t do this anymore. i’ve made too many sacrificed to only dismiss me every single day.”

he looked at you confused. “no, you didn’t do anything. it’s all my fault. i know i’ve changed and i’m sorry. time has been slipping away and this season has been so stressful. i appreciate you so much, i can’t express it enough. these past few days have been rough.”

“please tell me i’ve got it all wrong.”

he placed you on the counter and attempted to wipe all of your endless tears off. “yeah, you’ve got it all wrong. i will always include you in the story of my life. believe me, i could do it.”

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mvltisstuff · 11 months

Note

hello!! i absolutely love, love love, your buck fics, cowboy like me was so good. i was wondering if i can request a fic? buck and reader are best friends too stubborn to realize their feelings and have to share a bed for some reason, buck for some reason knows this trope and prepares themself like “i can do this, they’re my best friend it won’t be weird” so morning comes and he wakes up but they’re not cuddling and he gets gets disappointed and that’s how he realizes his feelings and maybe a confession. thank you if you do this but no worry if you don’t get to it. take care ❤️

sweet nothing - e.b

summary: basically for the request above :)

evan buckley x reader

a/n: i was so so happy to see that someone requested something and i hope you enjoy it! 🩶🩶 i’ve never done a one bed trope before so hang in there. i’ll be editing this a little later as i am going out but i wanted to get this up for you!

edit: omg i lowkey read this wrong i’m so sorry i can def write it again if you’re not a fan of it

y/n and buck have known each other for years, working together at the station. they meshed so well together and they realized that their connection might be stronger than a normal one between co-workers.

they started hanging out more and more, going to bars and getting dinner. they’d go to parties together and they talked all the time. having to deal with the repercussions of being a first responder, they found comfort in each other. after a death or near a death, they’d go back to someone’s place, hoping to bring normality back to the day. the bad days and the good days, they were always there.

it’s hard for buck not to get attached to someone so easily after dealing with people leaving. he never received affection from his mother or father, and his sister leaving so soon changed his view on things. his ego might be big, but it’s not big enough to prevent him from clinging to someone who shows him an ounce of love.

they were scarily similar, and they knew it. that’s why they were friends. they could talk to each other and actually understand each other after not having anyone for years.

they both know they’re more than friends, and everyone at the firehouse teases them anyway. buck normally has no problem with admission, taking girls home and letting them forget him the next day. he cannot admit his feelings for y/n after all these years. whether it be encouragement from eddie or bobby, the fear of ruining the best relationship he’s ever had outweighs that.

after a crazy day off, driving around the city and doing anything they can imagine, they realize how late it is and start to drive home. bucks mood of the night goes from pure happiness to dread. he doesn’t want it to be over, because any time that is spent with her is more time that he feels like nothing could stop him.

“buck, where are we?” y/n asks in the passenger seat of his jeep.

“oh, we’re um… at the place i went a few weeks ago. i just-“

“don’t know how to get back?” she finished his sentence and he gives her a look.

“yes, i do actually! we just have to go down that freeway.” he tries fixing the situation, not wanting to leave her stranded in the middle of nowhere. “ok, i have no clue where we are, but it’s fine! we have google maps.” buck pulls out his phone and sits on the app for minutes, praying that the little loading sign goes away. some small part of him wants to turn on airplane mode and hope she doesn’t notice, so they can stay together for a little while longer. she looks over to the phone and sighs.

“just pull up to that gas station over there. i have to pee.” she says, and he starts driving over to the dark gas station with the 24-hour sign. after she runs in, she runs back out with a ton of snacks and drinks.

“i thought you were just using their bathroom?”

“what? it’s just a few snacks, what’s wrong with that?” she laughs and throws them back into the car as he’s waiting outside too, filling his tank.

“did you buy a map in there too?”

“very funny, buck. like you can read a damn map.”

“i could if we were stranded somewhere! and oh, take a look around.” he acknowledges the fact that they don’t know where they are, but can still make fun of each other and laugh.

“listen, let’s just drive around for a bit and see what we find.” y/n recommends. buck grumbles and gets back into his car, turning on the engine.

it mutters and doesn’t turn on, he tries again and realizes it’s not going anywhere. he keeps playing around with it before y/n interrupts him. “i think it’s broken, buck.”

“it’s a jeep, it’s fine!” he says, trying to defend his precious car.

“ok, well. i’m gonna go inside and ask where any hotels are.” y/n says, and buck runs his hand down his face.

“get a bag of doritos while you’re at it.”

after minutes of waiting, y/n comes out of the gas station and walks over to the car. “did you call a truck?”

“yeah, they’ll be here soon.”

“well, get your walking stick, partner because the nearest hotel is a mile away.” she says sarcastically, grabbing her stuff out of his car.

————————————————————————

“we’re sorry, ma’am but all our two guest rooms are full for tonight,” the hotel receptionist tells them.

“shit, ok. do you have any other available rooms?” buck peeps in and asks.

“we have a one person room on floor 3, it has a full bathroom and everything.” after the exhaustion of the night and having to walk around looking for this hotel, they basically will crash anywhere.

“we’ll take it.” they both say simultaneously.

they climb up the the room with their arms full of stuff they don’t even need. they swing open the door and make their way inside. “ladies first,” buck says, leaning against the door.

“thank you very much, sir.” y/n replies and places some of their goodies on the tv stand. “this is nice, i guess! we could fit in here if we really wanted to.”

“yeah, i can stay on the floor and you take the bed.” y/n laughs at his request and he gives her a confused expression.

“really, buck. we all know you’re picky about your sleeping situations. take the bed. i’m fine on the floor. ladies always take the bed.” she smirks at him.

“oh, well if you put it like that, i’ll take it,” he says, throwing himself on the bed. “you’re gonna sleep in jeans?”

“well, i didn’t bring an overnight bag. it’s fine, it’s just for one night.”

“i have en extra shirt in my car, just wear that. it’s big on me, so it’ll be like a dress!” he tells her. “a nightgown for the queen herself, if i must say.”

“you didn’t bring it in? you even brought your med kit?”

“you never know, y/n. what if you cut yourself open? you never. know.” he jokes.

“whatever,” she smiles and laughs. “i’m going to wash my face and i’m going to bed.” she walks into the bathroom and buck stays on the bed. he doesn’t want to leave her on the floor, but he doesn’t know if he could contain his thoughts if they slept together. that sounds really awful, but that might make him spit out words he doesn’t want her to know.

when she comes back out, buck is stripped of his shirt and left in his pants. her heart rate noticeably speeds up, and she doesn’t really know what to say. she’s seen him without a shirt, but spending the night together? she’s in for a hell of a night. her mouth is slightly open, and she closes it again, realizing he’s looking right at her. “like what you see?” he says, looking up from his phone. she shakes her head and turns around. she pulls on his massive shirt and now it’s his turn to have an internal freak out.

seeing his name on her back and his shirt on her body might send him into arrest. her soft hair falls down her back after she pulls out her bun and she runs her hands through it. buck looks around at her body, her shoulders peeking out through the top and the neckline down. he shakes his head and forces his eyes to look back down at his phone. she gets down on the floor, pulling the blanket over her and laying on the few that she placed under her. “g’night, buck. go to sleep.”

“n-night, y/n.”

————————————————————————

buck stays on the bed the whole night, being able to sleep peacefully in the quiet room. y/n on the other hand, feels like she’s gonna fall through the floor. she hates the floor, she would’ve taken the bed, but his comfort was more important to her.

she loves him, she really does, but both of their stubbornness and lack of acknowledgement of their feelings prevents her from making any moves. but she swears this hard, itchy rug might be the death of her.

buck feels the corner of the blanket get pulled up, and a light hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of his slumber. “move over, i cant stay on this rug.”

even the deep sleep he was in couldn’t keep his mind from going places. he was so happy, probably too happy. “yeah-yeah, of course.” he says, moving his body. he was wide awake now, turning to face her. “you know, i’m really happy we got stuck here together.”

her faces reveals a bright smile and buck can still see through the darkness of the room. “me too.”

they both turn over and fall asleep, trying to quiet the thoughts in their head. the ones that have been begging to be released for months.

when they wake up in the morning, y/n feels so much better. the sun was shining lightly through the shades and she rubs her eyes. she looks over and buck, whos much closer than she thought.

she realizes their closeness, his arms wrapped around her and their legs tangled together. her head is right next to his, their foreheads practically touching.

she thought about moving from her spot, it physically, she couldn’t bring herself to. the warmth of bucks body brought a whole new feeling. she felt at peace, which sounds silly but she felt like she could take on anything as long as he was there. it was her opportunity to be with him, being as close as ever.

he woke up from his own sleep, eyes fluttering open and his breaths were deep and slow. he looked up at her, and smiled when he saw how close they were to each other. “hey,” he says, with a raspy voice morning voice and y/n feels grateful to even hear one word.

“hi,” she whispers back to him. “sleep well?”

“i slept great, i wonder why,” he looks around and then lands his eyes back on her. “i’m glad you’re here.”

“you know, i kinda thought i was dreaming when i woke up,” she speaks. “i’m glad i wasn’t.”

“i’m glad you weren’t dreaming too.” he pulls her in, wrapping his arm around her lower back. he leans in, planting a sweet kiss on her lips. they stay in this position for a while, taking the time to spend with each other after waiting the past few years in hiding.

“uh… we should probably, um, get up?” she smiles and is practically speechless. she tries to form the words but really doesn’t want to go anywhere.

“nah, let’s stay here.” he pulls her in and rolls over her, but keeping his weight off. they whisper sweet nothings at each other and she giggles at his soft kisses all over, finally relieved that they can be together without the fear of ruining something great.

#911 #911onfox #bobby nash #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley x reader #evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #evan buckley x reader #athena grant #henrietta wilson

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zeruby16 · 4 months

Text

extra credit- kim jiwoong

18+ MDNI

genre: smut, fluff, romance

summary: when you're in dire need of extra credit after butchering your classical literature paper, you ask your class ta, jiwoong, for help.

word count: 3.3 k

warnings: afab! reader, dom jiwoong; usage of pet names (sweetheart, angel, good girl); cursing; oral sex (giving); fingering; penetration; protected sex (always use protection); slightest degradation kink; slight sir kink; slight exhibitionism; please let me know if i missed any!

notes: um..hey y'all so i'm back. trust me when i say this took me like three months to write because being in school made me so uninspired😭 i had major writers block and still do, but my bestie motivated me to finish this. anyways, i have not grammer checked this at all, so please spare me. i hope you all enjoy and i'll try to write more if i can!

REMINDER: 18+ MDNI

you hated the word validation, yet it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

in school, at home, with your friends, you craved hearing people compliment your hard work.

it made you feel like you were in ecstasy.

so you’d be damned if you got a b in classical literature. it would ruin your perfect gpa, your reputation with your experienced professors, and your sanity.

you needed an a. you were going to get that a.

your main obstacle was an analysis paper on pride and prejudice.

pride and prejudice for god’s sake.

everything would’ve been fine if jane austen wrote in understandable sentences, but here you were struggling to comprehend how the hell elizabeth fell for mr. darcy.

the paper was due today and you submitted whatever you could online, but you remembered your professor’s words.

“every project will be graded by me, every paper will be graded by your teacher’s assistant, kim jiwoong.”

kim jiwoong was well-known throughout your university. he was a graduate student who helped out all of his previous professors. it was very noble of him.

he was also the most beautiful man to exist. any girl dropped at his sight, including you.

you were already familiar with jiwoong.

since his previous professors were in the same major as yours, you already had him as a ta for another class.

the other class, the english renaissance, was the worst class you’ve taken.

you had done perfectly well on every assignment, but then your final happened to be cumulative and you could not remember an ounce of anything pertaining to shakespeare.

you caved and confided in jiwoong as you always struggled with cumulative finals. then, you scored a 96 on the final.

half of it was on shakespeare. you should’ve failed, but you always got an a.

you knocked on the door twice before waiting for his response.

“come in!”

once you opened the door, you were met with his focused eyes.

jiwoong was one of the nicest people you knew. he helped anyone who struggled left and right. he even offered tutoring to the students who couldn’t comprehend what went on in lecture.

you had no doubt that he was probably reviewing someone’s paper right now, so they could submit a better product.

“what can i do for you y/n?” you noticed the slight change in his posture, he had to have a clue as to what you were planning.

“i submitted my analysis paper, but i wanted to stop by and mention how i didn’t comprehend anything from the book,” your eyes contained a hint of dejection.

“i can’t do anything about it, you already submitted it,” he sternly said, you could see his hand gripping the pen he was using harder.

“i know, but i wanted to apologize beforehand. austen’s works are complex and i read the book three times, but i couldn’t conjure anything in the paper,”

“i tried jiwoong, for weeks, but nothing.”

he sighed while leaning back on his chair. it was working.

“you never struggle with papers,” he mentioned suspiciously.

“sometimes i do, it’s rare though. i’ve only ever struggled once throughout college,” you emphasized.

“what are you trying at y/n?”

“i was just wondering if there was an opportunity for extra credit,” you innocently asked. you wanted him to give in. you needed him to give in.

he pushes back his hair in distress, while staring you up and down. he may have only dealt with you once, but he knew your ruse.

“you know how wrong this is,”

“jiwoong, i am an adult, you’re an adult. there is absolutely nothing stopping us,” you moved closer to his desk, leaning on it while placing your arms down.

“my integrity will,” you chuckled.

you neared his face as you whispered in his ear, “it hasn’t stopped you before.”

“god the things you make me feel,” he muttered under his breath. you moved away from him, enjoying the teasing.

you walked backward toward the door silently begging for him to stand up. to come rush by your side and help you.

you were in dire need of his assistance.

“do you know how hard it is to see you in class?” he started, standing slowly from his chair.

“to see you laughing with those idiotic boys? to see them staring at you like they have a chance?”

jiwoong makes his way towards you, backing you into the door.

“i’m only having fun,”

“they can’t handle you y/n. you’re the smartest one in your batch and your beauty is unmatched. they don’t stand a chance,”

“and you do?” you taunted, finding his eyes and then his lips.

his hands made their way to your waist, pinning it against the door. you couldn’t help but let out a small grin at your silent victory.

“of course i do sweetheart, i’m the only one who’s made you scream,” you felt your legs give up on you as his words went straight to your core.

“i’m the only one who’s heard your beautiful moans and small whimpers while you lose yourself on my cock,” his fingers graced your breasts under your shirt.

his touch was cool, but all it made you do was burn.

you closed your eyes in delight. you forgot how deliberating jiwoong made you feel. it was why you longed for him so much after he helped you the first time.

“what happened? cat caught your tongue?” he smirked seeing you shiver under his touch.

“you act all high and mighty when we both know how easily i can change that.”

“prove it then,” you blurted, wanting to feel his everything and needing him desperately.

“i need you to say it louder sweetheart,” he caressed your face, pulling you closer to him.

“prove it,” you spoke and his lips took yours. he kissed you like you had been apart from years.

his hands bunched up the skirt you were wearing and he slightly lifted, pausing the kiss to see the view before meeting your lips again.

“you got soaked at the thought of you taking me?” he teased, your face flushed red, avoiding his eyes.

“look at me princess,” his hand forced you to meet his eyes. he was anticipating your answer.

“did you? did you fantasize about me?”

you whimpered under his touch, feeling utterly embarrassed at his words, yet you wanted more.

“yes sir, i thought of you,”

“no wonder you couldn’t write your damn paper, you were too busy thinking about getting fucked.”

jiwoong tightened the hold on your waist and guided you towards his desk, stopping when you sat yourself on top of it.

he pulled away from your lips as he quickly discarded your shirt somewhere in the office. you tossed your bra somewhere, signaling how you wanted his kiss everywhere.

he proceeded to ravish your chest, bruising you as much as he could. it was as if he wanted to prove to others how he was the only one who deserved you.

you started to feel his body under his shirt, while pulling on his hair every so often, earning grunts from him.

annoyed by his shirt, jiwoong lifts it off of himself and leans further towards you, deepening the kiss.

your hands started to reach for his cock, caressing it over his pants. you needed him more than ever.

his brows furrowed at your movements and you unzipped his pants, feeling him closer. he lets you do as you please as you pull down his pants, his boxers joining them.

seeing the hardened member, you immediately stroke it a few times before coating your hand in spit and proceeding to repeat your motions.

“god how are you so good at this?” jiwoong grunted while placing his forehead on yours.

you let go of his member and stood up, grabbing his arms in place and sitting him down on the desk instead. your knees met the carpet and you took him into mouth.

you stopped for a moment to respond to him, “i’m a hands-on learner.”

he lightly moans at your words, recalling how the last time you two were in this position he was guiding you.

in satisfaction, you continued bobbing your mouth up and down his hard-on. you took the time to tease his slit that was already coated with precum and use your hands, slightly squeezing his member.

he grabbed your hair, somewhat forcing you to quicken your pace. drool had started to spill from your mouth and you looked up at jiwoong, seeing him in absolute bliss.

“my good girl, you’re doing so well,” he cooed.

his words went straight to your core and you felt the need to please him more.

once you felt his hold on your tighten, you knew he was close to cumming. you quickened your pace while his cock started to hit the back of your throat.

his grunts were more vocal and he moaned as his cum spilled into your mouth.

you took everything into your mouth and finished off with a ‘pop’ once you were finished, smiling at him afterwards.

“you’ll be the death of me,” he commented before lifting your body up and holding it as your legs felt like jelly.

“did i do good?” you asked expectantly, jiwoong released a sigh before taking your lips.

“you did amazing, sweetheart, but i think i need a little more for you to get an a,” he chuckled.

“i’m all yours jiwoong, take me.”

he smirked at your words and made his way back to his chair. once he sat, he patted his legs.

“come here sweetheart, we’re going to grade your paper together,” your eyes sparkled at the thought and you walked and sat yourself on his lap, facing the computer.

you shivered as you felt his warm member under you, but he stayed still. once he found your paper among many of the others, he clicked on it and placed his hands on your thighs.

the paper came up and you reread the words, remembering every line that you wrote. you were so focused on reanalysing your paper, that you failed to realize how jiwoong was starting to tease your bundle of nerves.

you let out a small gasp as his finger grazed your core, teasing you every now and then as you grabbed the desk for support.

“let’s see how you did angel,” he says into your ear as he inserts a finger inside of you.

you placed your head on his shoulder for support and he fastens the pace, while reading your paper.

“eyes on the screen, i already found a mistake,” he forces you to look at your paper highlighting the mistakes. meanwhile, he plunges another finger inside of you.

“you contradicted yourself here, how can darcy be chivalrous once sentence and then an ass in the next,”

you left his question unanswered, letting the ecstasy you were feeling sink in until his fingers stopped.

“i asked you a question,”

“uhm,” you swallowed, “i don’t know.”

jiwoong chuckled, “you don’t know? this is your paper sweetheart, minus two points.”

you quipped your heads towards him, realizing how he was genuinely grading your paper and begging for him to take it back.

“you want extra credit you have to deserve it, you’re going to explain each mistake you made for me,”

“but-”

“no buts, you asked for this. now, why did you contradict yourself?”

you sighed, silently admitting defeat.

“darcy did everything the way he was suppose to, making himself a perfect suitor in a way, but he completely disregarded elizabeth’s feelings the entire time and decided to act purely for his own interests,”

you could feel jiwoong’s smile as his fingers started to continuously pleasure you. you moaned in relief as jiwoong continued to read the paper.

he tsked, but his fingers maintained their pace.

“and here, you really think elizabeth revealed jane’s and bingley’s possible engagement out of jealousy?”

you shut your eyes slightly annoyed, but answered nonetheless wanting his fingers to fill you.

“not out of jealousy-” you whimpered as he fastened the pace of his fingers, teasing you endlessly.

“out of spite, she only mentioned the couple because she knew it would garner a reaction from darcy,” you somehow let out.

with a hum of satisfaction you assume, jiwoong places his eyes on your paper once again. you rejoice looking at the screen because the paper was nearly done being read.

jiwoong takes his time using his fingers to tease you mercilessly, all while forcing you to maintain your composure.

you begin to feel a haze as you feel a knot in your stomach.

“jiwoong-”

“not yet angel, i’m not done grading.”

your moans grew louder, feeling your climax closer and closer. your eyes looked at his concentrated face as he read and read.

it felt like a decade and you couldn’t handle it.

“jiwoong please,” you begged, not caring about your shame anymore.

you came here for him, the a was just an excuse.

“why do you think elizabeth accepted darcy’s proposal?”

“are you serious?”

“why?”

“she was desperate for marriage,” you rushed out, starting to lose any complete thought.

“do you think she was as desperate as you are right now?” he said lowly, never wavering the pace of his fingers and reaching your spot.

“i don’t know,” you whimpered.

“what was that?”

“i don’t know!”

“but you know everything sweetheart don’t you? that’s why you think you deserve an a,”

“jiwoong, i’m so close,” you completely pressed your body towards his desk, trying to restrain yourself from touching him.

“i know, which is why i’m not allowing you to cum,” he announced.

you turned to him astonished as he took his fingers out of you and innocently licked your juices from them.

“the paper could’ve been better, i thought you read the book three times?”

“i did,” you nearly sobbed.

“well that didn’t reflect in the paper, so now you have to earn your grade and your right to cum,”

“how?” you immediately quipped, willing to do anything for the man.

“you can start by placing yourself on the desk, ass up,” your body immediately follows through and you stand up with your hands on the desk while facing the door.

you hear rustling of the cabinets behind you as jiwoong finds a condom and he grabs a hold of your waist.

“remember angel, try not to be too loud. everyone is grading,” you nodded understandingly, whimpering as you felt jiwoong slowly entering you.

“god princess, it was like you were waiting for me,” he groaned, waiting for your signal to go as your walls clenched around him.

when you placed your elbows on the desk, positioning yourself in a more pleasurable way, jiwoong took it as a sign to go on.

his pace started slowly, while you moaned under your breath feeling him everywhere.

“jiwoong,” you moaned while he quickened his pace. although he tried to conceal them, his groans were slowly becoming louder.

“yes sweetheart?”

“more,” you begged, wanting more pleasure, more of his touch, and more of his everything.

“your wish is my command,” he said, bucking his hips towards yours rapidly while using one of the hands that was on your waist to tease your clit.

you let out a moan as he continuously hit your pleasure spot with a steady face. with his other free hand, he grabbed your hair loosely, pulling you closer towards him.

all you could let out was his name in whimpers.

“you’re so good for me y/n,” the praise went straight to your core as he knew what you wanted to hear.

“such a good girl, you take my cock so well,”

“only for you,” you let out between the whimpers and moans, as jiwoong shows no signs of stopping.

“you wanted this didn’t you? you didn’t even need help, you just wanted to lose yourself on my cock,”

“not…true,” you lied.

you loathed pride and prejudice, but papers were your forte and if you really tried, you knew you could’ve done fine without help.

jiwoong was just amazing at validating you and fucking you beautifully, so you couldn’t help but beg for his assistance.

he slapped your ass in response, “don’t lie to me,” he warned.

“i promise sir,” you nearly yelled, forgetting any sense of being quiet. jiwoong placed a hand on your mouth, muffling any sound.

“you promised last time how this would never happen again didn’t you? look at you now,” he whispered in your ear.

you closed your eyes in ecstasy as you felt the knot in your stomach growing once again.

jiwoong kept on giving and giving, while you just took everything he gave.

“please, ” you begged into his palms, clenching around him while he hit your spot over and over again.

“just a little longer princess, i’m almost there,” jiwoong somehow got faster, ramming into you repeatedly all while you moaned into his hands.

“god, you’re perfect,” he mumbled.

suddenly, it all felt like too much. you closed your eyes in bliss while screaming out jiwoong’s name as you came. your head fell onto his shoulders as he lightly kissed your chin, chasing his release as well.

once his groans grew louder, you felt the warmth of the cum he spilled into the condom as his pace became sloppy.

he slowly pulled out of you as you stood breathlessly in between his arms, beads of sweat slowly falling down your face.

he disposed of the filled condom into the trash under the desk and turned you around to face him.

his goofy smile made you chuckle on the spot as you realized the other reason you wanted to visit jiwoong.

you genuinely enjoyed his presence. he made you feel safe and seen when everyone else had expectations for you. he looked at you as if you were the most important thing in the world at that moment.

desires aside, jiwoong was someone you could love and you were willing to give it a shot.

if he didn’t show how much he cared with words, he certainly did with actions as he showed when he started to clean you up with tissues.

you couldn’t help but laugh.

“what’s so funny?” he quizzically asked.

“you’re using tissues?” he rolled his eyes as he threw them in the trash and lifted your body to sit on the desk.

“well if someone didn’t need help so much, i could’ve prepared with time to bring something more premium,” he joked as you caressed the hairs behind his neck lightly.

“i’m sorry, the pent up stress from finals got to me. you don’t have to do anything with the grade,”

“nonsense y/n, your paper was exceptional either way. you didn’t need extra credit at all. you doubt yourself too much,” he complimented.

“does that mean i get an a?” you excitedly let out, not being able to contain yourself. jiwoong smiled at the gesture.

“yes, but you should probably stop relying on me for them because i am no help,”

“i guess it’s a good thing i graduate this semester then,” you mentioned and his eyebrows perked up.

“you graduate this semester? how come i didn’t know?”

“i wanted you to think i would taunt you for a long amount of time,” he slightly smirked at your confession.

“as if you didn’t have me wrapped around your fingers. speaking of, since you're graduating, when can i take you out on a date?”

“whenever you grow the balls to ask,” you joked as he looked down and up to meet your eyes again.

“maybe when we’re not naked?”

“probably.”

a/n: hope you all enjoyed whatever the hell this was😭 like i mentioned i'll try to write more but this writers block has stumped me. i appreciate you all and thank you for taking the time to read my works! :)

@zeruby16 on tumblr | est. 2023

#kim jiwoong #zb1 smut #zb1 hard hours #kim jiwoong smut #kim jiwoong x reader

130 notes · View notes

risingoftime · 11 months

Note

can you do a riri fic where she says move your hand/ being aggressive during yk 🤭

𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖘 | 𝖗𝖎𝖗𝖎 𝖔 𝖋𝖊𝖒!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

synopsis: Riri had just returned to her hometown after her time at Wakanda and MIT. After her school year of stress, she’s looking forward to finally spending the summer with her childhood best friend. Yet, the feelings she ran away from all return once she’s with her again.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: smut, friends to lovers, implied cheating, fingering, softdom!riri, overstimulation, strap use!, min plot, cursing, multiple positions, strap riding, mutual orgasm.

18+ | minors do not interact

➴ feel free to send me more thots

The knocking on my window jolted me awake. Quickly wiping away the drool from my lips, I saw Riri staring back at me. I almost pushed her over when I whipped open the car door. Enfolding her in my arms, I squeezed her body close to mine and spun around. The scent wavering off her skin made me more entranced with Riri—a sweet vanilla and saffron cologne she always wore, her signature. Her head rested on my shoulder, and we stood momentarily until I pulled away to get a better look at my best friend. Riri had never been the girly type growing up. She used to always wear her hair out in a heap of curls and wore clothes that accentuated her masculine features. Riri claimed it was “easier” to wear loose clothing when working in the garage. Today, she kept her hair braided in straight-back cornrows, allowing me to see her face, unlike before. That wasn’t the only change that I noticed about her. She had a restless look, bags under her eyes and an unreadable emotion that I couldn’t place.

“I’ve missed you so much!” I shook her as I said so. Riri had just rolled her eyes in response with the same goofy smile she had when we were kids. “Yeah, I could see that. I waited at the terminal for almost an hour, ringing off your phone as you drooled on yourself.” Sneaking a peak at the time, I saw 4:47 pm flash across my iPhone.

“I’m so sorry! How did you even find me?”

“I can’t miss this bright ass red car you built with my Dad. It’s a sight for sore eyes. Is that the Cuda you’ve always been talking about? I didn’t know you finished it.” Riri trailed her fingers on the car's tail and popped my trunk to begin putting her bags inside. The car has been my dream for as long as I can remember. It’s a 72 Plymouth Cuda that Mr. Williams and I restored to ride like new. I’ve spent my spare time outside university lecturers working in the shop. So this car was just a perk.

“Yeah, and if you’ve been listening to me during our calls, you’d know that already.”

I flicked Riri in the temple of her head, opened the passenger door for her to enter, and hopped in shortly after. Before starting the engine, I told her, “We have a lot to catch up on.”

Riri took her time before driving to my house, and I expected nothing less. From the looks of it, Riri needed those moments with her family to unwind. Either way, it gave me more time to prepare for her to sleep over. Since she’s been gone, I’ve moved into my parent's basement after they renovated the house. So not only did I have a bigger room, but I also had a living space and my bathroom away from my younger siblings, which meant more privacy when I had company. And I wanted Riri all to myself tonight without interruption, to talk, of course.

I don’t know when I developed feelings for Riri, but I assume they had always laid dormant, waiting patiently to be known. It arose during our first goodbye when Riri had to leave for MIT. My throat felt thick, like it was hard to swallow, and my chest hurt at the sight of her packed bags in front of her house. The feeling was foreign to me as I had never felt strongly about anyone in that way before. Not even for my past ex-boyfriends. I never truly cared who came and left as long as I had Riri by my side. So naturally, when she left for school, I was distraught. I tried to convince her to stay in our city and work for our Dad’s mechanic shop, but I knew in my heart that she was destined for more. Her mind was one of her best qualities. Since she was a child, it was unmistakable that Riri was a scientific protege. I couldn’t live with myself if I were the reason why she never went after her dreams and aspirations. Yet now, as she came back home for summer break, I was unsure how I would go another year without her near.

I waited patiently in my living room and assessed the space around me. I lit candles, and Riri’s favourite snacks, hidden from my curious siblings, were now perfectly arranged on my coffee table. Since childhood, we’ve been inseparable, literally. Both of our Dads had been best friends since college and decided to move their families to the same neighbourhood. Riri and I ended up doing everything together because of it. We went to the same school, played in the same soccer league, visited our Dads at their mechanic shop, and rode our bikes whenever the weather allowed. Sunday dinners would either be at hers or mine, and if we were lucky, we could convince our parents to let us order takeout. I can’t remember a time as a kid without Riri not being too far behind. She captivated all of my dearest memories. I felt the same—nerves and excitement from the airport. Riri would be here any minute now, and I couldn’t stop watching the clock. Our calls and texts had been less frequent this year as Riri’s workload and responsibilities were never-ending, making me even more impatient to see her finally.

Heavy footsteps descended the staircase, and I instantly knew who it was before I could see the face behind the wall. “Riri, I still don’t understand how you’re 5ft and walk as if you’re a grown man,” I laughed. Riri looked down at her feet-covered Nike socks once she entered the basement and shrugged nonchalantly before making a beeline toward the snacks on the table. Her eyes instantly lit up once she saw the arrangements of sweet and sour candy from our childhood.

“No way! I didn’t even know these were still sold in stores,” she squealed.

Riri hugged me before opening the snacks, beginning with the gummy worms. She sorted the candies by colour, leaving two piles for her and me. I never minded this because they all tasted similar to me, but not Riri; she’s always adamant about them tasting different. Reaching forward, I grabbed one from what I assumed was my pile, which Riri claimed to dislike.

“Cheers?” I turned to her on the couch, holding the worm in my hand to reach her halfway, and bumped mine against hers before biting off the gummy.

“I never understood why we always used to do that as kids. Looking back, we thought it was so cool, but it’s corny now that we’re older” Riri smiled in between bites and held a handful of the worms in her lap. Although she appeared to be different, deep down, Riri was still the person I called my best friend.

“Aren’t all traditions a bit corny?” I asked.

“I guess… But what did I miss while I was gone? You said we needed to catch up.”

Stretching out my legs in front of me, I reached forward to grab the wine bottle and poured myself a glass. “Yeah, we do. But first, you need to tell me why you’ve been MIA at MIT. It’s not like you not return my calls or texts. And now? You show up like everything is normal. Did you forget I know you like the back of my hand?” I raised my eyebrow at Riri, beckoning her to respond. She pursed her lips as if she was in deep thought about what to say. The silence stretched between us until she broke.

“I wish I could tell you, I do. Just know that I wasn’t purposefully ignoring you. Can we call it even? It’s not like you haven’t done the same in the past.”

“Speaking of, how’s Jayden?” The smirk on her face returned when she brought up my ex.

“First of all, Jayden and I are irrelevant; second of all, why do you keep changing the subject? Does this have something to do with Princess Shuri visiting your dorms?”

“How did you find out about that?” Riri exclaimed. Her body turned frigid, and her posture was upright and tense. She was unaware when others kept tabs on her, probably how she got involved with Wakandan royalty.

“You’re roommate MJ told me. I still have her number from when I visited you last time.” The bitter taste remained in my mouth from having to go as low as contacting Riri’s MIT friends to know why she had been airing my calls. After all, I’m her best friend. I should know about what’s going on in her life. But, instead, time and distance felt like it was driving us further apart. It felt like a knife had stabbed me in my chest.

“Look, I would’ve told you everything if I could. It’s just complicated,” Riri sighed.

“Yeah, I know you would. I was just worried about you. Next time, give me a heads up before you disappear like that again.”

“You were worried about me?” Her facial features perked up at the thought.

“Of course, I worry about you! You drove me to the point of tracking down your fucking roommate. That’s such a stupid question to ask me, Riri.” To my surprise, the girl had the nerve to laugh.

“It’s so hard for me to take you seriously when you talk like that. You’re cute when you’re upset.”

“I won’t be so cute when I shove my foot up your ass.” The smile on her face grew more prominent, and what was said next made my mouth drop in shock.

“Careful. I might be into that shit.”

I felt my heart race at the thought of what kinks Riri might have. She’s never been the most forthcoming about her sexual escapades. Riri hasn’t ever told me about her dating life. I just always assumed she didn’t have one. But her comment piqued my interest.

“Oh really, so what are you into? MJ?” I asked.

“MJ has a boyfriend, and what I like… I don’t think that she could handle that.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, “handle what? Riri, you’re 5ft.” Her legs were spread out before her, taking up more space as she got comfortable. It was playful banter, but I could feel my head spinning from our conversation's whirlwind and the implications of Riri’s sexual escapades. I wasn’t used to being on the other side of this. Usually, I would be the one spilling all of the juicy secrets. A part of me was bothered that she had another life that she had never alluded to. One that was kept between the sheets.

“You'd be surprised. I could make you forget about that sorry ass Jayden’s name.” Her cockiness always ticked me off, yet now I was outright embarrassed. I had been more than forthcoming with Riri about Jay’s weak ass stroke game, and now she was throwing it back in my face.

“It wasn’t like he was that memorable anyways,” I retorted. I ignored Riri’s suggestion, unsure if it was wise to venture and explore that side of our relationship. It wasn’t that I hadn’t noticed the tension or stolen glances that were exchanged between us. I was just scared to make the first move.

“And I doubt you could have me hooked on you just like that. For all I know, you’re a holy virgin.” I held a poker face to conceal my beating heart and the jittery nerves that kept my body on edge. Riri’s eyes raked over my body, and suddenly my clothing felt invisible.

“Give me five minutes. That’s all I need to get you begging for me.”

Picturing what Riri’s hands were capable of with me underneath her. I’ve watched her work in the shop, observing how her nimble fingers can reach all the tricky spots to complete a job. I couldn't help but now wonder what they were capable of. I bit my lip to distract myself from the oncoming images that shadowed my rational thoughts.

“Five minutes,” she repeated, “and I'll compensate for all the stress I caused.”

Riri could tell my mind was turning and debating what to say next. She closed the space between us. I looked down at our legs and how hers brushed against mine. With every move, Riri had made my body even more hyper-aware of what would happen. Her fingers trailed along my legs, hinting at her intentions. My breath hitched at the contact. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had sex or a good fuck. Jayden was a pretty boy but wasn’t good for anything else but to look at. He kept me company for the time being until what I wanted flew in. Now that it was in front of me, I was unsure if I had the confidence to take it.

“If we do this, Riri, I can’t forget it happened.”

“Neither can I, and I don’t want to.” Riri’s hand brushed against my cheek, and my breath hitched as her face approached nearer. I could smell the candy on her, the sugar remnants still on Riri’s lips. I craved to know what it would feel like to be the one who could lick it off. I felt the familiar wet spot between my legs from the mere thought of having Riri’s body against mine. Once her lips met mine, all my thoughts drifted away and were replaced by lustful impulses. It began soft and tentative, as if we were kids again, unsure of the other. Riri’s full lips were unbelievably soft as I lightly bit her bottom lip, encouraging her to open up further for my tongue to slip inside. The taste of sugar invigorated my senses, awakening every cell in my body and urging me to wrap my arms around Riri’s waist. I pressed myself towards her until our bodies were flushed against each other. I was practically on top of her at this point. I only paused between our heated makeout to bring my legs on either side of Riri to straddle her. I had been so distracted earlier that I hadn’t noticed the bulge between her legs. My mind began to reel at the realization of what it might be that I was feeling underneath me. Moving my hips in search of any friction that it could provide, I could feel myself begin to feel desperate, almost ready to beg for Riri to rub her fingers along my pussy.

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” I said, sounding husky and breathless.

Riri nodded in response and picked me up to stand upright from the couch. I guided her along the corridor to my room, and she wasted no time throwing me onto the bed. My eyes were wide from the shock of her strength. I noted how her back flexed when she removed her sweater and the light happy trail that led down to the band of her boxers once she turned to face me. My eyes lingered on the outline of her strap. Riri’s gaze met mine, then smirked, clearly aware of where I was looking.

“Take off your clothes.”

Slowly, I lifted my shirt to reveal the pushup bra underneath. Stealing a glance at Riri, I could decipher the temptation and desire that lay dormant as she licked her lips. She looked as if she was ready to pounce at any second, making me want to move aggravatingly slowly. I tried to make her wait like she had done to me. Moving to the edge of the bed, I discarded the pants I wore onto the floor. I looked up at Riri for a sign of what may happen next. She stood between my legs and brought her hand to wrap around my neck, forcing my head back. I had completely submitted myself to her, trusting her fully. Riri applied pressure on either side of my neck, and when my mouth parted from the new sensation, she connected her lips to mine and slipped her tongue inside—breathing in each other’s air as her fingers circled the thin fabric that barely kept my lower lips covered. Riri’s fingertips rubbed my clit in an aggravatingly slow motion. I bucked my hips forward, urging her to increase her speed. At this moment, I didn’t want anything more than to be consumed by Riri’s presence.

“Open your legs wider,” Riri commanded.

I did as I was told, pushing my thighs further apart to permit more accessible access to my throbbing center. Riri dived deeper, teasing the entrance of my pussy, only allowing a fraction of her index and middle finger to thrust inside. The moan that escaped from me was sinful.

“Riri, please”

“Please, what?” she replied.

“Please stop playing with me” My voice came out a pitch higher and sounded whiny.

“Your wish is my command, Princess.”

Riri repositioned herself so that her bottom half was flush against mine while she moved her fingers further inside. She used her hips to guide her hand to apply pressure. I could feel myself get wetter the longer she continued. The sounds of my pussy filled the room, leaving no secret to what was happening in my bedroom. Riri left sloppy kisses on my collarbone to my neck until she reached my ear, only pausing to whisper, “Can I put it in?” I knew what she was referring to and nodded my head. I didn’t trust myself to be able to get the words out.

“Use your words.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Frustration briefly overtook me, and I was reminded that I was telling my childhood best friend to fuck me. I suddenly felt shy as I said, “Yes, Riri, please put it in.”

“See, now, was that so hard to say?”

I didn’t answer her question and watched Riri instead as she removed her pants and briefs to reveal an opaque pink dildo attached to her strap. Not the colour that I was expecting, but the size surprised me. It could’ve at least been 7 inches bigger than Jayden, that’s for sure. Riri held the pink dick in her hand and slowly glided it along my pussy, taking extra time to rub the tip against my clit before lowering it inside and stretching me out. Riri went slow at first until her full length was inside. My legs had already begun to shake from the new sensation that I felt from the girth of the dildo.

“How does it feel, baby?” Riri began to grind her hips while thrusting in and out of my pussy. Her pace remained unhurried. She was enjoying watching my facial expressions with a sultry smile. When I didn’t respond immediately, Riri began increasing her tempo, and I couldn’t silence the escaping moan. “Fuck- so good,” I sighed. She kept pounding inside me until my broken cries turned into gasps. I slyly moved my hands down to her torso to slow her down. Instead, Riri grabbed my hands and pinned them down onto the mattress.

“C'mon, you can take it.” Riri’s lips hovered over mine, keeping eye contact throughout. I am completely and utterly lost in her trance. I’m convinced she wants to leave her mark, leave me so drunk off of her that I wouldn’t be able to think of glancing at another man. “Riri, I can’t; I’m going to cum” I whispered. I sigh into her kiss as Riri swirls her tongue around mine and wraps my legs around her waist to lock her closer. She released my hands to wrap her arms around me and flipped us over in the bed, so I was now on top of her.

“Ride it out, baby girl” Riri kept her hands around my waist to keep me in place. I took my time to adjust to the new position that she had put us in and bobbed my hips on the strap, loving how deep it could go and fill my hole. I began desperately grinding in search of more. It brought felicity that I had not known before, so intensely that I hadn’t noticed how loud I was getting with each movement. “Shhh, baby,” Riri growled. “Shit,” we didn’t have the house to ourselves. I bit my lip as a reminder to remain quiet while I felt the orgasm take over me and my fluids slipping down onto the harness she wore. My core began to contract, and my legs began to tremble as I whimpered in her ear. “I’m cumming, Riri.”

"Yeah?" Riri planted her feet on the mattress, balancing myself on top of her before she began thrusting upwards.

“I’m not done yet,” she said.

My pussy gripped around her as she kissed my G-spot with each thrust, pushing me to my next peak. "I can feel it on my clit" Her low voice was shaky, and it turned me on even more at the thought of her getting off from fucking me and using me like a toy. It sent a wave of urgency and need to make her cum. I was pinned against her and unable to free myself from her grip. “Keep bouncing on it, baby” Riri’s mouth was open agape, and she struggled to keep her eyes open as her small sighs of euphoria became moans. “Mmph.” Riri was unrelenting in chasing her high. My pussy got wetter from watching her face conform to a blissed-out state.

“I’m so close, don’t move” Her voice was staggered and pleading.

“Me too,” I replied.

The last thing I saw was Riri’s eyes rolling back until my orgasm overtook me. I didn’t care who would hear as we moaned in each other’s mouths, breathing in the same air. My head spun out from cumming so hard. Riri’s legs collapsed, making the bed squeak from the sudden movement. When I opened my eyes, Riri analyzed me with a peaceful expression.

“What? Why are you staring at me?” I asked.

“You’re so beautiful” She smiled the same smile that she had at the airport earlier. I gave her a side eye and tried to shake my body off her, but her firm hold on me remained.

“Aren’t you going to let me go?” I asked.

“Not after you gave me great sex like that. I’m ready to go for round two,” Riri stated.

“Round two?” I shrieked.

It was apparent that what had just occurred between us was longer than five minutes, but I couldn’t stop. Once I kissed Riri, I had already gained an insatiable appetite for her. I was left yearning for more and more. While lying there with Riri, I wondered what had I gotten myself into?

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lieslab · 7 months

Text

To Saturn and back

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Summary: After being brain-dead and on a ventilator for days, Hyunjin is forced to cope with the realization that you're not coming back.

Pairing: Hyunjin X gn reader

Genre: Angst with no happy ending

Word Count: 1.7K

_ _ _

“I don’t know how to let you go.” Hyunjin finally spoke up. After staying by your side for days while you remained unconscious in the hospital, the soft beeps of the heart rate monitor were the only thing keeping him company besides your steady breathing.

The sharp smell of antiseptic filled your room. No matter how many hours he stayed by your side, he couldn’t get used to it. He watched your chest move up and down in silence. His tears stopped flowing at some point as his sorrow ebbed into a state of numbness.

“I know it’s selfish of me to want you to stay, but you’re still warm.” His hand slipped into yours and he wrapped his fingers around the back of your palm. He used to say the two of you fit together like a perfect puzzle. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up from this nightmare.”

“One of these times, I’ll look up and I’ll be able to see your eyes flutter open.” A broken chuckle fell from his lips. “You used to look at me with such affection. It always warmed my heart. One look from you seemed to melt my worries away.” He kept his eyes focused on your hands.

“I’ve begged the doctors to change the outcome, but it’s always the same. Every test they run, you don’t respond, and that’s how I know you’re really gone. If you were still here, you’d try so hard to prove you were alive.” His thumb dusted against the top of yours. “I know you would if you could.”

His words stopped for a few moments and his gaze went to your face. How cruel of the world to present you to him as a sleeping beauty. You looked like you were sleeping and showed no signs of being brain-dead. The dim lights behind your bed casted shadows on your face. He tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

The ventilator had been secured around your head with a plastic strap. A clear plastic tube was cautiously eased into your throat by the steady hands of a doctor. The larger tube tapered off into two smaller blue tubes. One pushed in oxygen whereas the other pulled out carbon dioxide.

“Your family came to visit a few times. I remember how lively your family was when we visited them for the holidays. They were so upbeat and happy. Warm smiles, open arms, and tight hugs.” His heart stung at the memory. “They’re trying their best to cope.”

“I hope wherever you are, I hope you don’t blame yourself. Nobody ever asks for these things to happen, they just do.” He shut his eyes for a moment. A soft sigh escaped his lips. “We’ve been hoping and praying that you’ll come around, but…” His voice lowered, “it’s been a few weeks now.”

“I think it’s time we l-let,” his voice cracked, “you go.” He swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat and went on. “Your family couldn’t be here for this and I’m sorry, but they’ve known you your whole life. This is the most difficult decision they’ve ever had to make.”

“They all said their final good-byes yesterday and I hope you heard them. They really care about you, you know? We all do.” His attention was pulled from you when there was a knock and the door opened.

A nurse stood in bright blue scrubs. Her mouth opened to say something, but her gaze softened upon the scene before her. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but the doctor would like to know when you’re ready to…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

“Is it alright if I have a few more minutes?”

“Of course,” she forced herself to smile. “Please take all the time you need.” She spun around and shut the door without another word.

Hyunjin’s attention went back to you. He tried to memorize the feeling of your hand in his. This was the last time the two of you would be together. He bit down on the inside of his cheek and closed his eyes again.

“I have to keep reminding myself you’re already gone. Deep down, I know you’re gone, in my heart, but my brain wants to tell me otherwise.” He reopened his eyes and pulled his hand away from yours.

Without a word, he stood up and moved toward your hospital bed. He sat on the edge of it and grabbed your hand again, this time with both of his hands. “Your family spoke to the doctors and they’ve decided to donate some of your organs.”

“I struggled with it, at first, because I didn’t want to imagine that, but the doctors have told us about the receivers. There’s a five year old boy who struggles with kidney failure. Your kidneys are going to him and the doctors say if everything goes right, he could have a normal life.”

A memory popped up of the two of you walking in a park. The two of you were holding hands and talking when a kid fell off the swing. You let go of Hyunjin’s hand and rushed over to console the crying child. You wiped away their tears, pulled a band-aid out of your bag, and reassured her everything would be alright as you bandaged her scraped finger.

“And there’s a father of two children that’ll receive your liver. The doctors said he’s fighting liver cancer. I got to meet with him and talk to him. He has two cats and a goldfish,” Hyunjin chuckled. “Can you believe he has a goldfish? I’ve never met anyone with a single pet goldfish.”

“And your heart is going to a woman around your age. She just had a baby a few weeks ago. She needs the heart, so she can raise her baby.” Tears pricked up in his eyes. “I wish it didn’t have to be yours, but you own the biggest heart I’ve ever known.”

“You might not be alive anymore, but parts of you are going to keep on living. I think if you were able to hear that, you’d be at peace with it. You always liked helping people. You’re one of the most selfless people I know.”

He moved forward and gently laid himself between the small opening of you and your bed. His tears blurred his vision as he glanced over at your face. He pushed a piece of your hair away from your forehead with a trembling hand.

“I’m going to miss everything about you. The way you used to smile at me when I came home. The warmth of your body when I crawled into bed after a long day of work. The home cooked meals you used to make sometimes. All those times I annoyed you while we shopped for groceries.” He laughed at the memory.

“I know it’s part of life and this is how it works. I have to let you go, I know you’d want me to, but I miss you so much. I don’t want to do this without you.”

The suppressed emotions were bubbling up inside him. He was hit with a wave of anger and his voice came out a little louder. “Why can’t you just wake up? We need you here! I need you!” His ugly sobs filled the room. He rolled over and stuck his head in your chest.

He wasn’t met by the comfort of your arms. The soft sound of your voice never appeared. You used to gently tug your fingers through his hair, but that was gone too. Your heart monitor continued to beep. Your brainwaves ceased to exist. The ventilator continued to breathe for you.

He sobbed until his throat was raw. Snot and tears coated your hospital gown. His arms wrapped around you and he moved beneath the ventilator tube to listen to your heartbeat a final time.

He closed his eyes and laid there for a while. The nurses must have heard his sobs from outside the room. They must have decided to let him experience this human misery in peace. His heart had cracked open like an eggshell and the only thing left behind was the runny intangible feeling of despair.

After a while his sobs turned into quiet singing. His voice cracked and the pitch was wrong, but it didn’t matter. The never ending stream of sadness flowed out of him in the form of your favorite songs. With his ear pressed to your chest, he sang, and sang, and sang until he finally ended it with your favorite song.

When he finished, he was left with a hollow ache in his heart. This was it, the end of everything, he was alone now. He forced himself to pull away from you. He took in your face a final time.

The way your eyelashes brushed against the tops of your cheeks. The slope of your nose. The feathered eyebrows that you used to get mad at because you had to pluck them regularly to keep their shape.

He leaned forward, so his face was a few inches away from yours. “Please just wait for me. Wherever you are, I’ll find you one day. If you’re not there, I’ll find you in the next life.” His bottom lip quivered, “I-I promise.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the middle of your forehead. They remained there for a few seconds until he pulled away. “I love you to Saturn and back.”

Saturn was your favorite planet. It had been your favorite planet ever since Hyunjin bought a telescope after you mentioned you liked space in a passing conversation. For your latest birthday, he bought the telescope and set it up to view the planets and stars.

He set up a picnic for you on top of a hill. The two of you watched the sun set side by side. You fell asleep in his lap and he woke you up when it was dark enough to see the planets. After spending nearly twenty minutes searching the cloudy darkened sky, you finally found Saturn.

It was your thing ever since that night.

I love you to Saturn and back.

Such a simple phase that held so much meaning to the two of you. That picnic was the place where Hyunjin asked you to date him. It was beneath those stars that the two of you shared your first kiss.

He gave your hand one last reassuring squeeze before he reached over to press the call button to let the nurses know that it was time.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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