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#and if anyone asks; they made me do maths in the interview so i burst into tears and started eating the drywall

skz-haneul · 27 days

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Now Playing . . . 🎬

Learn the alphabet with Vivi ꨄ

A is for : *talking to stay on bubble* and i can’t believe i forgot i live with 3 smelly ratty gym bros, oh yeah and hyune (context because she can say the most wildest things sometimes: she came home to rest and saw the mess 3racha made with their shoes)

B is for : *pointing at bang chan* beep beep beep person who needs sleep detected beep beep tackle him with pillows (real)

C is for : *comparing butts with han* can’t relate, my bum is the size of jupiter (she got rich problems)

D is for : *on live cooking with lee know* did you just say 127, puku puku pow po- … i couldn’t help myself im sorry (same tbf)

E is for : *trying to convince felix to play games together after sneaking into the cuties dorm at 12* esteemed companion shall we partake in a rendezvous of ludic engagement within the realm of digital entertainment (why is she fancy all of a sudden)

F is for : *dancing to whip nae nae* forget break your legs, i just broke my back (sometimes she acts like she fought in ww1)

G is for : *telling a joke* guys, what did the chicken say when it saw something amazing, daebak-bak-bak (i laughed more at the silence than the joke)

H is for : *playing games with seungmin* hey there buster, no more mr nice guy (and now she’s an american bully???)

I is for : * listening to asap by stayc with her headphones on but everyone else can hear it* i will ‘asap 내 반쪽 아니 완전 copy’ till the day i die (i think she likes asap)

J is for : *caught by talker insulting changbin after he died in a 2 player obby on roblox* just kidding. i would never call anyone a worthless flop of a human, im too hot for that (dayum girl (you are hot tho))

K is for : *greeting staff as she walks in the room* konichiwa my despacito burrito (miss worldwide fr)

L is for : *during an interview talking about her biggest pet peeves* losing should have never been invented because i do not take it very well (i sadly relate to this a lil too much)

M is for : *in an interview* my whole life has felt like a fever dream tbh (icl I burst out laughing)

N is for : *after getting a really packed schedule* news flash: im bombing the jyp building (not without me)

O is for : *game of hide and seek* opps at the end of my block (yungvivsta back at it again)

P is for : *during a game of dodgeball* please stop throwing the balls at my beautiful face (the way felix tried to aim harder)

Q is for : *out with hyunjin* questionable face you got on there but ok (context again: she went to the bathroom in a restaurant and then half her burger was gone)

R is for : *english school with skz* 77+33=100, stay with me now, because the government- (i don’t think they’re passing)

S is for : *trying on corsets* snyatched qween *throwing poses faster than lightning* (nothing but facts)

T is for : *seungmin launching a pillow at her head* that is not very slay queen, period bestie of you seungmin (what is up with her dictionary)

U is for : *boiling eggs…* umm, minho, yknow when you told me to boil eggs, i may have burnt the water… again (the only thing i have to say is how?)

V is for : *a seagull stole her chips she was eating* vile, disgusting, yucky seagulls are the disgrace of all birds that can fly, them absolute fatties (she was buggin for the rest of that skz-talker)

W is for : *randomly, out of the blue*why is life not getting funky anymore? (my exact question)

X is for : *on live* x-(7+95)=y“ please, abeg, go find changbin (she loves maths)

Y is for : *english school with skz pt.2* yes so the climax of the quintessential elements of the rainbow create the lyrical description of the factitous colours (like i said before, they’re all failing)

Z is for : *on skz-talker* zero amount of people called me sexy today… im sooo frickin pissed (not the white chicks reference)

ᰍ̠ - taglist! @mynameisnotlaura ‧ @alixnsuperstxr ‧ @shaylaxo ‧ @ziipzeepzop-eez

send an ask or comment to join

ᰍ̠ - notes! went to sleep at 4am 💋

God loves you ♡

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justtuesdays · 2 years

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meet the bombshells: beach hut confessions

thank you to everyone who submitted questions. seriously, didn’t think so many of you were eager to meet these bombshells. and by all means, feel free to continue sending them in, all six of them are open to answering your most probing questions.

🎇[ part i ]🎇[ part ii ]🎇[ part iii ]🎇

confessions below for ig, tandy & marco! you can find their interview here!

@dragonfly1399 asks: Hiii! Um. So, um, a question for IG 👉👈 will he, um… will he teach me how to play cello? Please? It’s a big dream of mine🥺 I’ll be a good student, I promise! *wink wink*

IG: (whistles) “I always did want to do some tutoring. (wiggles his eyebrows suggestively) If I’m still available after this stint, I’ll drop by. Just drop your info in my DMs.” (Marcos chuckles, Tandy shakes her head) “What? You do realize the odds of us all staying in the villa are about—“ (counts with his fingers)

M: “You’re actually doing the maths for this? (shakes his head) The best odds is if two of us stays. (IG sighs) Or something like that, anyways.”

T: “Anyways— cellist really? You’re whole vibe says indie rock, what’s that about? (Marco nods, IG opens his mouth to speak) And better not be a sob story please, we’ve already gone over our odds.”

IG: “I had a knack for it as a kid and people said I could make a decent living off of it. So I did. No sob story here.” (Marco bursts out laughing)

@richdesire says: hiiii marco *waves flirtatiously* tell me about your favorite places to go on a date? what qualities do you look for in a partner? have you ever been stood up or stood someone else up? i noticed you have a lot of tattoos, which is your most meaningful? can you step on me pls?

IG: (cackles) “Holy shit! That’s a lot of questions for you, pretty boy. I bet Tandy and I can answer a few for you.” (Marco raises a brow)

T: “I bet we could. Hmm, seeing that Marco here has never technically been on an date, I bet they’d say— (clears their throat, semi-italian accent) Ay, somewhere private, just the two of us, private chef…”

M: “It’s all in the tongue, (Tandy practices a bit) yeah, there you got it. And honestly, going out maybe trying one of those DIY classes together. I rather have something to converse about other than our jobs. (IG agrees) Qualities in a partner, well patience is one, someone I can hold a conversation with is two. Besides that, I’m not really sure.”

IG: “You want someone to vibe with, nothing wrong with that, boyyo.” (puts an arm around Marco)

M: “I stood up a crowd at a pub. It wasn’t intentional or anything, I was awful sick.” (Tandy cringes) “Yeah, I haven’t eaten pancakes since. About the tattoos, most are tokens for special moments. I’ve got one for the first mixtape I made, another one for my first gig, one for my best mate Hanni…the others are random shit Hanni and my mates thought were cool.”

T: “Is this unicorn one of them?” (Marco smirks)

IG: “You got a unicorn? Let me see!”

M: “Oh, and the thing about stepping on you. If it’s alright with you, I rather we just exchange numbers.”

@/anon says: What do you guys think about MC’s and their ex in the villa, together?

T: “It’s a bunch of rubbish. They’re basically living in Suresh’s shadow. It’s f***ing ridiculous. Like give them a break. So they were ready to propose, really scary shit. Get over yourselves.”

IG: “It’s bound to be awkward for anyone trying to go after either one of them, but if you’re gonna let the ex get in the way, why are you even here? Shoot your shot or get out of my way. I had hope for Finny boy, but he was just all talk.” (Marco nods)

M: “Why sweat it? He doesn’t even have the balls to actually apologize. All MC wants is a someone reliable, who can take things as they come. And I’ve got a feeling we’re doing a lot better than everyone else in that villa right now.”

@/anon says: If you guys had the choice to couple up with someone, who would it be?

IG: "Before the last episode, I’d have said Finn or MC. Now, it’s just MC."

T: "A bit controversial, but Dana. Maybe, MC, but I need to see whether they’re into their ex or not."

M: "Don’t know— I want to say MC. But, if things had to go in a different direction, Kat. No I’m not explaining what I mean by different direction."

stay tuned for more beach hut confessions for and feel free to once again, submit your asks to the bombshells. either way, i'm putting them in the hot seat.

#oc bombshells #beach hut confessions #oc: marco wolfe #oc: tandylin mcbreen #oc: ig williams #tuesdays: ocs #litgs5 #litg bombshells

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gale-gentlepenguin · 5 years

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ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 6

(Master post)

_______________________________________________________________________

“No worries Rose, the shirts are done. Yes, I can bring them to school tomorrow. Okay, tell everyone I said hi back. Take... Oh you and Juleka are at 87% compatible? Congrats. I always knew you two were.... Mine? Oh uh look at the time bye!” Marinette ended her conversation a bit exhausted.

Rose was a good friend, but the girl had a way of talking an ear off if Marinette wasn’t careful. Marinette would have texted her, but the girl would blow up her phone with 50+ texts. So Marinette decided a phone call was the best way of contacting her.

Marinette had felt super productive after she got back from that akuma battle. Though before she could action on that productive vibe she had to deal with some weird emails that mentioned codes for restarting her password for ‘Soulmate search’. She decided to change her password just to be safe, probably smart if someone was trying to get into it. Marinette always figured it’s better to be on the side of caution when it came to her personal items and information. That is why she made that trap box for her diary.

Some people have no lives, trying to get into other people’s accounts. Marinette thought to herself. She could only imagine the type of desperate person who tried to get into her account for a matchmaking app. Probably some two bit hacker that wanted to spam her with emails. She logged in to make sure everything in the app was fine. Her personal information secure, and her compatibility list was unchanged. She smiled at the first place ranking. It was the spark she needed to get back into her productive mindset. Deciding that since everything was fine, she would not look into the matter further so long as it doesn't happen again as she would rather focus on her commission but would definetly keep an eye out for it.

Now able to ride her wave of productivity, She was able to finish the new Kitty Section shirts that Rose commissioned. The Second design really did look good. Now that they had enough original songs to make their first album, they needed a shirt with the cover on the shirt, which Marinette happily designed for them as well.

“The shirts look great.” Her red Kwami praised as she looked them over. “And you dont have to pull an all nighter like you did last time.”

“Yeah, it was easier the second time around, especially now that I organized my schedule better.” Marinette agreed. “With occasional 20 minute video game breaks, those really can do wonders.”

Marinette’s phone began buzzing again.

“Oh, thats right. I promised Rose a Picture of the shirt.” Marinette remembered.

She picked up the phone.

“Don't worry I was just about to send you the photo of the shirt.” Marinette answered.

“What shirt?” A voice that definitely didn't sound like Rose.

Marinette dropped her phone. Her face went red. It was Adrien. Adrien was calling her right now.

“Marinette? Are you still there?” Adrien’s voice came from the phone.

Marinette stumbled to the ground to pick up.

“Yes Here Marinette is. I mean Yes. Marinette is here. Speaking.” Marinette tripped over her own words. She was caught off guard by the sudden phone call.

Why was he calling? Was he going to say that he changed his mind about what he said earlier? Or was he calling because he doesn't want to wait that long and start dating now? Marinette had to shake those thoughts out of her head.

“Oh good. I was wondering if you were busy Friday after school? I am going to have a tv interview and it would be really cool if you could come along. You won't be on camera or anything if you don’t want to be. You can be right by the set.” Adrien explained.

“Really?! Yea, Yes. Free am I. I am free then.” Marinette corrected herself. She mentally told her self to relax. She was able to regain composure.

“Awesome! Oh, just so you know. Nathalie said I can only bring one person so It will just be the two of us and my bodyguard, is that alright with you?” Adrien questioned, Speaking a bit faster then normal, if Marinette wasn’t so nervous she might have noticed. “If it isn’t that is totally fine to. I am sure Nino would go if I asked.”

This boy was going to kill her. Just the two of them. Her and Adrien on Friday after school. Well sure there would be a studio with a bunch of people, but out of everyone he could have invited, he chose her. She was his first pick. Her heart felt like it was trying to burst out of her chest.

“Thats fine with me. Is there a dress code? Do I need to...”

“I was going straight to the interview from school so I will be in my school clothes so I wouldn't worry, besides you always look great so even if they do put you on camera for a bit you will be fine.” Adrien assured. “So its not a big deal if you were to come Into-view”

Marinette couldn't help but giggle at the word play, he sounded so sweet and endearing.

“Thanks for the heads up, I wouldn't want to put your choice in guests into Question.” Marinette punned back. She mentally slapped herself. That was such a bad joke there is no way he found that funny. That stupid cat is rubbing off on her.

To her surprise, Adrien laughed at her joke, Marinette could swear there was no sound the rang as sweet.

I will give that cat macaroons later Marinette mentally noted for later for his influence.

“I will explain any details I find out tomorrow. Have a good night, Marinette.” Adrien said after he finished laughing.

“You too. Good night Adrien.” Marinette practically swooned after she hung up.

The ladybug Kwami smiling.

“I believe that went well.” Tikki encouraged.

Marinette moved to her bed and fell back on it, clearly dazed and excited.

“He wants me to go with him to his interview. I was his first choice. It will be amazing...”

Tikki sighed with soft smile. Its a good thing Marinette finished those shirts and her homework earlier, it was clear no other work was gonna be done tonight. She wondered what Marinette’s reaction will be tomorrow.

_______________________________________________________________________

Adrien hung up his phone with a giddy grin on his face akin to the one he wears as Chat noir. She does like puns, another point for the legitimacy of the app.

“She said she was fine with it.” Adrien told his kwami as the cat consumed a piece of camembert.

“Congrats Romeo, you asked her out on a date.” Plagg commented casually.

Adrien felt his cheeks flush and his grin shifted.

“It isn't a date.”

“Sounds like a date. Not that I care.”

“It really isn't a date. It is just Marinette and I going to an interview I am gonna have. There will be a bunch of people there and It isn't like it will be just the two of us.” Adrien explained.

“Aren’t most areas filled with people?” Plagg pointed out.

“Well yes but I mean...”

“And if it isn't a date, why didn't you just text her like a normal teen? You went out of your way to call her.” Plagg rubbed in. He had a satisfied smirk watching Adrien get close to Ladybug levels of flustered over Marinette. Plagg desperately wanted to tell the boy, but he held in the urge by chomping down on some cheese.

Adrien was about to comment but his blush only became more apparent.

“Maybe its a tiny bit like a quarter date. maybe a third of a date.”

“Math is your worst subject kid and what your saying isn't adding up.” Plagg countered. He decided to to twist the knife a bit more seeing Adrien get more red.

Adrien knew he wasn't getting anywhere.

He didn't know why this was making him all flustered. Sure Marinette had always been a sweet friend. Sure she had always been cute and kind. But now just thinking about her made him nervous. Like seeing Ladybug without his mask on. Ever since he saw that compatibility score and started thinking about her as more then a friend, it was like a gate in his head that was holding these thoughts and feelings about her had swung open and the door couldn't be closed, and he wasn't sure if he wanted it closed. It all sort of clicked and the more Adrien thought about it, the more he liked the idea of him and Marinette.

“Anyway, it will be nice to have her come along. I am sure everything will go great, and Marinette will have a good time.” Adrien moved past his petty discussion with the cat.

“I am sure it will all go smoothly for you. I don't see Anything possibly going wrong.” Plagg sarcastically retorted.

“If something goes wrong now, I am not ordering you the camembert.”

“Kwami Abuse!”

_____________________________________________________________________

Still 100%

That thought made him feel warm as he walked into the school on that Thursday morning. He had answered the daily questions as soon as he was out of bed. He practically melded his eyes to the screen as he waited for the results. His 100% compatibility with Marinette was unchanged.

He also noticed that Kagami slid down to 80%, but she hadn't updated her profile yet so it could change later. But he was more concerned with the top spot.

Adrien arrived to class. He made his way to his seat, where he noticed Nino listening to music.

He sits down and nudges Nino playfully. The Dj turns to him and pauses his music.

“Hey dude, you seem in a good mood.” Nino greeted as he moved his headphones to his neck.

“Are those new?” Adrien inquired as he looked at the cooler, sleeker designed headphones that looked in a lot better shape then his previous pair.

“Yup, they were on sale yesterday. Snagged the last one in stock.” Nino bragged. “Half off.”

“Congrats.” Adrien offered a fist bump which Nino accepted.

Adrien took a quick look around to ensure no one in the class was paying attention to him. Alya was outside waiting for Marinette, so Adrien knew he didn't need to worry about any eavesdropping from the ladyblogger.

“So about yesterday... you didn't tell anyone about what I sent you?” Adrien whispered.

Nino’s face showed complete confusion.

“What thing did you send me?” Nino questioned.

“You know...” Adrien leaned in closer. “The compatibility list? You sent me a text about it yesterday.”

It took the hat wearing teen a moment to gather himself.

“Wait you got the app? Who did you get?” Nino inquired.

“Nino. I sent you the list.” Adrien answered. His tone more serious and concerned then before..

“Sorry dude, But I don't know what you're talking about.” Nino responded. The Dj pulled out his phone to show Adrien the texts. Sure enough, the exchange from yesterday was absent.

Adrien was shocked.

“Thats impossible.” Adrien spoke as he pulled out his phone and looked at his messages, it was identical to Nino’s except that the exchange from yesterday was present.

Nino looked at it.

“That is bizarre. Cause I didn't message you yesterday. I know I didnt message you then because that was when I was leaving to go get this.” Nino gestured to his headphones. “I was setting up Chris with someone to watch him just before leaving. “

Nino looked closer at Adrien’s phone as if staring at some parallel world.

Adrien was definitely lost. If Nino didn't text him, who did? Who did Nino have watch Chris? Would that person be respon--”

“Holy shit dude!” Nino exclaimed interrupting Adrien’s thoughts. “You got one h...”

Adrien immediately covered Nino’s mouth.

The whole class now looking at the two teens.

Adrien felt embarrassed.

“He was surprised by my high score in super penguino.” Adrien lied.

The class went with it and decided that Nino’s reaction wasn't important enough to look into.

‘Thank Kwami for short attention spans’ Adrien thought as he waited for Nino to calm down before removing his hand.

Adrien practically yanked Nino out of the classroom to ensure no one was listening in.

“Dude!” He whispered in shock. “I can't believe you got 100% and with Marinette.” Nino was in shock from seeing the compatibility score in the photo. “I mean I’m not surprised you two scored high, but 100%? That is so choice. I am a bit jealous, I haven’t even gotten 100% with my girlfriend.”

Alya is probably gonna flip when she finds out. Oh man if she finds out and knew that I knew? She might kill me if she finds out from someone else. Nino thought to himself.

“Can we discuss this later? I don't want people finding out about it yet.” Adrien pleaded.

“Why dude? Aren't you happy that Marinette is at the top of the list?” Nino asked with a bit of worry that Adrien might want to turn the designer down.

“I am happy, more then I thought I would be with anyone. But I don't want people finding out yet.” Adrien replied.

“If you are chill with it then what’s the big...”

“If word gets around that someone has 100% compatibility with me, things could get... complicated. Especially for Marinette.” Adrien interrupted. “You have seen how my fans can get. I don't want to throw Marinette into that if I can avoid it. Not until I know she is fine with this, with me, with everything.”

Nino could see the genuine worry on his friend’s face. He could tell Adrien cared about Marinette. He always knew he did, but now it seemed even clearer then before.

“Okay dude, I won't tell a soul. Except I might need to tell Alya, She will want to know.” Nino responded.

“Yes, you can tell Alya only. As long as she swears not to tell anyone.”

“I will swear her to secrecy.” Nino assured.

“Thanks Nino. But that brings up the question, if you didn't text me, then who did?”

“I couldn't tell you. Maybe someone hacked your phone. The only person that had access to my phone yesterday was me and...” Nino’s expression shifted as he made a realization.

But that couldn’t be right, why would she have an interest in the list? She told me earlier that she wasn’t into Adrien. But then again, there was that picture that was sent to everyone from Adrien’s phone of her kissing his cheek. But she assured me that it was platonic. Something isn’t adding up. She was the only other person that had access to my phone. So who else could it be?

“Who had access to your phone?” Adrien inquired, snapping his friend out of his thoughts.

“I think I might know who sent those texts. But I don’t know why she did it?”

“She? Nino who was it?” Adrien questioned.

“So you know how I needed someone to watch Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“And Normally I would have asked Marinette but she was busy with her commissions and Alya was watching her big sis’ match so...”

______________________________________________________________________

A car pulled up by the park where a certain brunette was sitting and had been waiting. The car window rolls down to reveal a bespectacled man with styled hair and a stern look. The fashion mogul Gabriel Agreste was sitting in the car.

“You better have a good excuse for calling for this meeting Miss Rossi. You are aware of how busy I am.” The man sternly commented.

“I swear it is important Mr. Agreste. Adrien’s reputation and his safety are at stake.” Lila responded.

“How so?”

“Adrien’s delinquent classmates have gotten him mixed up in a scandalous app that has him put information about himself and meeting up with strangers.” Lila spun her web of lies.

Gabriel took her words with a grain of salt, but decided to humor her as this would likely be useful once she was finished trying to make herself look good.

“Are you certain of this?”

“I am. Adrien showed me a picture of the app. I tried to tell him that nothing good would come of taking part in such a nasty thing, but he wouldn't listen. His classmates have sold him on taking part of it.” Lila lied. “You need to have him delete that horrible app, nothing good will come of it, it will just have more people trying to take advantage of Adrien for his money, status and looks.”

“She seems to be Projecting on to others master.” Nooru whispered only loud enough for Gabriel to hear. Gabriel nodded, he was losing his patience with the liar. Clearly she had been wasting his time. He motioned for the purple kwami to stay hidden before responding to Lila.

“I see, so tell me. What is the name of this app?” Gabriel questioned.

Lila froze for a second. She had thought she would not have needed to tell Mr.Agreste.

“...Soulmate Searcher...” Lila confessed.

Gabriel’s disappointment shifted into intrigue. He remembered that app. It was the cause of despair for the recent Akuma he had made, as well as other cases of despair that he was planing to use later. So his own son was using that app.

“Very well, I will look into the matter. Thank you for the information Miss Rossi.” Gabriel dismissed. Leaving an uncertain brunette on the park bench.

“Nathalie, look into this app and tell me everything you can find out about this ‘Soulmate Searcher.’ Perhaps Lila has given us another useful nugget of information to use.” Gabriel stated.

“I will be sure to do so.” His glasses wearing assistant nodded as she drove the car back to the mansion. “Do you really believe Lila was being honest about the app?”

“I doubt most of what she stated held merit. My son is not such a fool as to take part in deviant behavior. Even if Adrien was taking part in the app it is likely not as she described it. But that app was the cause of my recent akuma, it definetly has some sway over Paris. It will be something that can be of use. Gabriel answered calmly.

This information was definitely of great use. I can feel that this might be the start to getting the edge over those two heroes that have eluded me. Soon their miraculous will be mine and I will have my Soulmate back. Gabriel thought to himself as his face revealed a Hawkmoth-Esqu smile.

______________________________________________________________________

Part 6 is finished I am loving all of this awesome feedback and you guys keep me inspired to keep writing this.

If you want part 7, please let me know. I love seeing those notes and comments, It really feeds my impulsive need to write. And I am just gonna say it.

#ml #soulmate survey #soul mate survey #soulmate searcher #adrienette #lila rossi #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #If this one could also get 1000 notes that would be beautiful #or fanart #both would be amazing #but no preassure #Gabriel agreste #nino lahiffe #miraculous ladybug #ml au #Now we getting to the drama #Lila the b**** Rossi is at it again

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sassyduckqueen · 4 years

Text

Team Miraculous: Stoneheart (1/2)

New Lukanette story. Done in a similar style to my 30 Days of Lukanette but with Viperion as a hero from the very beginning. Hope you guys enjoy

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Jules, you ok?" Luka asked as they walked to school. She had been more quiet then usual as they walked but he wasn't surprise. It was a new school year and she was nervous. She sighed softly and looked at him.

"I d-don't w-want to be in C-Chloe's c-class again," She mumbled, pushing her hair back before letting it fall again, making him frown.

"You'll be fine," He smiled, ruffling her hair. "I believe in you,"

"T-thanks," She mumbled as they turned left. "I j-just... y-you know..."

"Yeah, I know but this year is gonna be different for both of us," He grinned, looking to the sky. "I just know it,"

"Y-you're t-too h-happy," She grinned, making him smile before they turned a corner. He frowned as he saw an old man struggling to walk before he felt over. Luka rushed over and helped him up, grabbing his cane for him too.

"Are you ok?" He asked, concern in his face but the old man smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, young man," He grinned before going on his way. Luka nodded and turned back to Juleka before they crossed the road and headed into the school yard. He gave her some more words of encouragement before heading to his own class. He grabbed his seat in the back and took out his notebook. He flicked it to a clear page and began to write his next guitar piece. The teacher came in and began to hand out their timetable for their lessons. Luka took his and looked at it before sighing. He had double maths straight away. He groaned and mentally wished he had his guitar with him. Unfortunately, the school didn't like him carrying around a guitar to communicate with people, despite the fact that he made more sense with it. He also hated that the teachers claimed that music wasn't everything. To him, Music was life. It was all around the world. From the air to the sound of people's heartbeats and he could hear it all. He could feel every note in everything. It was just what he did. His mother said it was his language and a gift. He wasn't so sure if it was a gift but he agreed with it been his language. He understood music to an almost supernatural extent. It was literally second nature to him. It was very to how a snake can feel vibrations in his eyes. He could feel music in a similar way. The bell went and he sighed to himself. Time to face the horror that was double maths. He closed his notebook and put it in his bag before heading down to the maths area. However before he could, the school shook violently. Luka frowned and looked around as a second tremor caused everyone to panic. Luka rushed over to the window and looked out. His eyes widen in shock as he saw a figure made of stone. It grabbed a car and threw into the wall.

"KIM!" It growled, making him frown. He bolted to the door and ran out into the courtyard as his first instinct was to find Juleka and make sure she was ok. A girl with red hair rushed by him looked excited but a good few other students were rushing out, panicking. He frowned deeply before crashing into someone.

"Oww," The girl mumbled as he got up and helped her up. She had pigtails in her hair and bright blue eyes. "Sorry!"

"No worries. It was my fault anyway," He smiled but worry washed over his face. "I don't suppose you'll seen a girl with black and purple hair have you?"

"You mean Juleka?" She asked. He nodded. "She was in the libary,"

"Thank you!" He replied, running over as students ran out. He rushed into the library and looked around. Fortunately, it didn't take long to find her. She was curled up under the table, having a mild panic attack. "Jules,"

"Luka!" She gasped, hugging him. He hugged back and rubbed her back. "T-there's a monster! Not l-like a cool m-monster e-either!"

"I know," He replies, helping her up as a teacher came in.

"School's been evacuated and is closed for the rest of the day," She stated, making the two of them nod. They left the library. Luka looked round and noticed the girl with the pig tails, looking worried. He walked out with Juleka as the teachers directed them out before the two headed back to the Seine. It didn't take them long to walk there, though Luka felt a little unsafe on the boat but it looked like the monster wasn't anywhere near their home. Juleka instantly headed back into her room as he put his bag down and turned on the TV and flicking it onto the News.

"I'm personally asking all Parisians to stay at home until this situation is under control," Mayor Bourgeois demanded as microphones and cameras were pushed to his face. Luka frowned deeply as it switched back to the TV reporter.

"As incredible as it seems, it's been confirmed that Paris is indeed been attacked by a supervillain," Nadja Chamack confirmed as she read her lines. Luka frowned even more as he listened. "The police have been struggling to keep the situation under control,"

The scene switched to an interview with the chief of police, Roger Raincomprix, who appeared to have a broken arm.

"Be conidient that strong arm of the law will come crashing down on- urg!" He gasped in pain as he lifted his arm before looking meekily towards the tv. "I mean the other arm,"

"Great," Luka mumbled. He didn't really have much faith in the justice system. Probably because his mother was a bit of a rebel but it was obvious they had bitten off more then could chew. He sighed to himself before a small hexagon shaped box caught his attention. He rose an eyebrow and picked it up. He noticed the odd red symbol on it and frowned deeply. "What's this doing here?"

As soon as he opened it, a blinding green light burst from it, causing him to drop and shield his eyes. It formed into a small little creature that looked like a little snake but with arms and legs. It had it's eyes closed as Luka stared at it in completely shock. It blinked and opened it's eyes before crossing it's legs and smiling at him.

"Greetings, my name is Sass and I'll be your Kwami," The little creature declared with confident. Luka stared at it in shock before freaking out.

"Jules!!" He began to shout but the little creature waved it's head and shook it's head.

"You mustn't tell anyone else about me, Luka! No one must know I exist,"

"How did you know my name?" He gasped, worried. "Are you... real?"

"Yes,"

"So I haven't gone... you know.... crazy?"

"No,"

"Ok, good... why are you here then?"

"You have been chosen to be a wielder of a miraculous," The little creature nodded. "I grant the power to reset time but this power must be used for the greater good,"

"Ok that seems fair... wait is that how that stone creature exists? Is that because of a Kwami?"

"You're a fast learner, Luka," It replied, nodded. "But yes. That creature is an akuma and it must be stopped. You will find two others who will help you stop it,"

"Whoa! Hold up! I'm suppose to stop that thing?!"

"Using your super power. It's called Second Chance. You have five minutes to use it but in that time, you can reset time as much as you want but once that five minutes is up, you'll detransform back into your civilian mode," The creature explained, causing Luka to nod as he picked up the bracelet in the box. "That is the miraculous,"

"I have a question... a few questions actually," He gasped as he put it on. It sparkled like a normal silver bracelet. "Are you like a snake? Also what if I fail? How do I even use this super-"

"Slow down. One, you'll have team mates, two, yes I am a snake and three, all you have to say is Sass, Scales Slither,"

"Sass, Scales Slither?" He repeated but as soon as he did, the bracelet came to life. "H-hey! What's going on?!"

A lyre appeared in his hands and his everyday outfit was replaced with a new suit then a mask appeared around his eyes before he found himself stood in the living quarters of the Liberty in a green snaked based suit. He moved around, frowning to himself before noticing Sass wasn't around.

"Sass... where did you go?" He frowned as the little Kwami didn't answer. "Sass? Please, answer me?"

Nothing. He frowned softly before looking towards the TV.

"Stoneheart is heading towards the Montparnasse tower," The woman on the TV stated but Luka frowned as he noticed a girl on a bike following the monster. He took a deep breathe before placing the lyre on his back.

"Ok, Sass said I would have team mates so maybe I should go and find them first," He mutter before exiting the boat and running as fast as he could through the streets of Paris. He stopped and frowned as he realized he was had made it to the Arc de Triomphe in less then five minutes, despite it been a half an hour walk from where his home was. He looked up at the Paris rooftops before running and jumping. He misplaced how high he could jump and found himself crashing into a roof. "Oww,"

He got up and dusted himself down as he heard a yell. He looked over and saw two people hanging from a pole. One was a girl dressed in a one piece that was red with black dots and the other was a guy dressed as a black cat. He would guess they were the others Sass told them about. The cat boy freed them and stood up.

"I bet you're one of the partners my Kwami told me about. I'm... hmm..." He looked away to think as she tried to pull a string . "Cat Noir... yeah, Cat Noir and you are?"

She yanked it free and it landed on Cat Noir's head. She sighed.

"I'm madly clumsy," She mumbled, frowning. "I'm so clumsy,"

"No worries, clumsy girl. I'm still learning the ropes too," He grinned. "I wonder where our other partner is,"

"My Kwami mentioned a third hero..." She mumbled, rubbing her arm. Luka took a deep breath and jumped down, getting their attention. Instantly, the cat boy came over.

"Hi! I'm Cat Noir!" He grinned, holding out his hand. Luka slowly took it and shook it.

Lu- I mean... um.... Snake....Viper.... rion... yeah..." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm Viperion,"

"Viperion! Nice to meet you!!" He grinned before running up and chasing after the monster. The girl took a deep breathe before following. Luka sighed to himself and jumped up, this time landing ok before he ran towards the stadium. He landed on it as Cat Noir hit the creature, making it grow bigger. He frowned and watched as it growled and threw a football net towards the girl he saw on the news. Cat Noir went to throw his baton but the creature grabbed him and the bug girl looked terrifyied. Luka jumped down and pushed her out of the way before the net hit her. He got up but was swiped up next to Cat Noir. "Hey, scales. Think you can poison him?"

"That's not my power, whiskers," He replied as they both struggled.

"Hey! Super redbug girl! What are you waiting for?!" The girl shouted as bug girl watched in terror. "The whole world is watching!"

It was like the girl's words hit a chord in her before she swooped down and wrapped her yoyo round it before diving up and running. She turned and faced it.

"Animal cruelty? How shameful!" She gasped before yanking the rope freeing them. They both rolled over and she gasped. "Sorry it took me so long,"

"No worries," Luka grinned.

"It's cool, Wonderbug!" Cat grinned. "Let's go kick his rocky behind,"

He went to run off but the bug grabbed his tail and pulled him back.

"Haven't you noticed he gets bigger and stronger with each attack?" She mumbles, looking like she's thinking. "We have to try something different,"

"Like what?" Luka asked but Cat grinned.

"Let's try using our powers!" He grinned. "You go first, scales!"

"Um ok..." He mumbled, pushing the head back of the snake. "Second Chance!"

Both him and Cat blinked as he looked around.

"Did anything happen?" Cat asked as Luka looked at the bracelet. He nodded the head of the snake was moving so he pushed it back. Both him and Cat blinked as he looked around.

"Did anything happen?" Cat asked, causing Luka to look at him.

"You literally just asked me that,"

"No, I didn't,"

"You literally did then I pushed this back and you asked me again," He replied, pushing the head back. Both him and Cat blinked as he looked around.

"Did anything happen?" Cat asked, causing Luka to look at him again.

"Dude, why are you asking me that again?"

"I haven't asked you that before..."

"You asked twice," He replied before his mind clicked. "Ooh... I see... everytime I push back this,"

He pointed to the head of the snake that was slowly moving.

"It resets time but only I remember,"

"That's it?" Cat gasped, a little disappointed but the girl seemed impressed.

"That is useful," She smiled, making Luka smile too.

"Ok! My turn!" Cat grinned. "Cataclysm!"

His hand became covered in a dark energy and he grinned excitedly before turning to them,

"I can destroy anything I touch," He declared before touching the lamppost, destroying it before facing Stoneheart. "It's just you and me now! Time to rumble, soon to be rubble!"

"Cat Noir! Wait!" She cried out as he ran towards the villain. He jumped and slammed his hand down but nothing happened. He placed his hand on again before grinning up at it.

"I guess I only had one shot at my power," He gasped before getting kicked back before looking at Luka. "Mind resetting?"

He nodded and went to but she stopped him.

"No," She stated, causing both of them to look at her. "You won't learn that way and you only have five minutes before you turn back. Didn't your kwami explain anything?"

"I guess I got a little overexcited about my new life!" He grinned, causing Bug girl to roll her eyes and Luka to smile a little before she turned and faced the creature.

"Well, up to me," She mumbled, throwing up her yoyo. "Lucky charm!"

A diver suit appeared out of thin air and she caught, getting an odd look of both Viperion and Cat Noir.

"Superpower?"

"My Kwami told me I have to break the object which the what-cha-ma-call it..."

"Akuma?" Viperion asked, making her nod.

"Yeah.. where the akuma is hiding,"

"Well, he's made from stone," Cat Noir pointed out, making her gasp.

"His right hand..." She mumbled, pointing to it. "It's closed,"

"He's never opened it," Viperion points out. "He caught both me and kitty cat with his left,"

"It's like the russian dolls," She mumbled. "The object isn't on him. It's hidden in his fist,"

"So what's your plan?" Cat Noir asked as she looked around. She smiled and pointed to the suit.

"This," She replied, grabbing a hose pipe. "Viperion, I need you over there. When I say, turn on the tap,"

"Right!" He replied, running over as she wrapped her yoyo around Cat's feet.

"Don't resist and trust me," She declared, swinging him around and throwing him at Stoneheart, who caught him before she jumped at him with the diving suit at hand. "Catch me if you can!"

He open his fist and caught her.

"Viperion! Now!" She shouted, causing him to turn on the tap, which in turn filled up the suit and forced Stoneheart to open his fist again, freeing her. She jumped down and stamped on a purple rock, breaking it and freeing a little butterfly. Stoneheart turned back into a normal kid as Viperion switched off the tap and walked over as Cat Noir got up.

"That was amazing!" He gasped. "You were both amazing!"

"Um... thanks..." She mumbled as Cat's ring beeped. "You better go. Our identities must remain a secret,"

"I should go too," Luka replied as Alya rushed over with her camera. "I hope we meet again soon, you two,"

With that, he jumped out of the stadium and headed home. Just as he reached the boat, the transformation dropped and he caught Sass in his hand, who looked tired.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"I need food," He mumbled as he curled up in Luka's hands. Luka nodded and entered the boat before placing Sass on the side and looking in the cupboard. "Do you have cake?"

"I thought you were a snake. Don't snake eat mice?"

"Bleh. I like cake," He mumbled, causing Luka to laugh softly before he took out a fairy cake. He gave it to Sass as the news showed him and the other two fighting off Stoneheart.

"Ladybug. Call me Ladybug,"

"Ladybug?" He questioned before smiling. "It suits her,"

He began to make his food but the news suddenly took another negative turn.

"Just as Paris is about to celebrate it's new heroes, panic ensures again as people are been turned into Stonebeings. No one is sure if what will happen. Will these creatures come to life or be stuck in time forever?"

"What?!" He gasped, looking over in shock. "But we defeated Stoneheart?!"

"Did Ladybug capture the akuma?"

"Um... she broke the object and a purple butterfly flew off,"

"So that's a no then," Sass replied, eating the cake. "The butterfly is an akuma. They must be captured or it multiplies itself and this happens. If Ivan becomes Stoneheart again, all those stonebeings will awake and become his army,"

"Oh god. How do we stop that?"

"Find the akuma and capture it,"

"How do I do that though?"

"Only Ladybug can purify and restore Stoneheart and the damage he's done,"

"Oh... so me and cat just help her?"

"Yup,"

"Wonderful... when do we go after Stoneheart?"

"We'll have to wait for him to return,"

"Great,"

#luka couffaine #marinette dupen chang #adrien agreste #viperion #ladybug #cat noir #hawkmoth #miraculous ladybug #lukanette #lukanette is endgame #stoneheart #origins #team miraculous

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goldenmessenger · 4 years

Text

The Aftermath - TS Actor AU

Summary: Roman and Remus have long since fallen asleep, nosy reporters forgotten. But there are other worried people in the wings, and it falls to Dillon (Deceit) to reassure them.

Read on Ao3 here.

A/N: Hey everyone! I have like 30 followers now, which may not be many for most people, but since I only had a few until this morning, I’m pretty excited. So thanks to everyone who followed, and I'm guessing most of you are here for my TS Actor AU!

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, follow this link here to Ironwoman359′s awesome story set in this AU. It’s my AU, but I was having trouble finding inspiration for writing, so I commissioned Ironwoman to write a story set in it! She wrote a spectacular story called I’ve Got You Brother, and I love how it turned out! If you haven’t read it, go check it out. Both because it’s awesome, and because this one won’t make sense without it. Check out the story below the cut!

Also, I do have a taglist for this AU, so let me know if you want to be added!

Content Warnings: (Very) Vague allusions to drug abuse, past trauma, childhood abuse, tempers, revenge.

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Once the sound of talking stopped, Dillon carefully peeked into the living room, and smiled at the sight in front of him. Remus and Roman had both fallen asleep, Roman curled tightly into his twin’s side, head resting on Remus’s chest. Remus had his arms protectively wrapped around Roman, and was snoring slightly. The movie Roman had been watching continued to play on the screen, long forgotten. Dillon sighed in relief. This was a good sign.

In the early days of /Sanders Sides/, most of the interviews had been like the one Remus had just had, if not worse. Usually worse. Roman hadn’t handled them very well, and neither had Remus. Usually, Roman would lock himself up in his room and refuse to come out because he didn’t want to face anyone. That would make Remus’s anxiety act up because he needed to see Roman and know that he’d be okay, so he’d try to get Roman to let him in. Then Roman would get mad and accuse Remus of being smothering, which would blow up into a huge fight and then neither of them would talk to each other for days.

So the fact that the two of them had had a sincere conversation and were now cuddled up to each other on the couch? That showed just how far the two of them had come. Dillon was briefly overwhelmed with pride for his boys. He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the two cuddling on the couch.

Dillon picked up the remote and turned off the TV. He picked up Roman’s Disney blanket, which had fallen to the ground, and draped it over the two sleeping men. He sighed with a mix of exasperation and fondness when he saw the octopus mug on the floor, tea spilled on the carpet next to it. He shook his head at his sleeping husband.

“You know we have a coffee table for a reason, right?” He chided quietly, though not expecting a response from the sleeping man. Though he knew that if Remus /was/ awake, he’d attempt to argue that coffee tables were a societal construct and thus unneeded. He picked Roman’s Stitch mug and spoon off of the aforementioned coffee table, and took both mugs to the kitchen. He had just put the mugs away in the cabinet when he heard his cell phone ringing. He’d forgotten about it when Roman had seen the interview, and had focused on comforting his brother-in-law.

It occurred to him that the others had likely seen the interview (they all watched each other’s interviews live if they could. It had the dual purpose of showing support, and allowed them to know if the interview went bad), and likely wanted to make sure that everything was ok. Dillon picked up the phone.

“Salutations, Dillon.” Logan’s voice burst through the speaker. The British actor spoke with calm tones, but after knowing him for three years Dillon had learned to recognize the subtle notes of worry that laced the calm.

“Logan, hello. I’m guessing you’re calling about Remus’s interview tonight?” Dillon leaned against the counter, feeling weary.

“Yes, I am. It was mutually agreed that out of Patton, Virgil, and myself that I would be the best candidate to call at the moment.” Dillon sighed heavily.

“Let me guess, Patton and Virgil have both gotten themselves into an anxious frenzy over the interview?” Dillon could picture his younger brother and Roman’s boyfriend both sitting anxiously next to Logan as they waited with bated breath.

“Yes, they’re pretty worked up about it,” Logan admitted. “Virgil is this close to buying a plane ticket to flying out of New York City first thing tomorrow to be by his boyfriend’s side. And Patton isn’t far behind. But I convinced them that we should communicate with one of you first, and make sure that it’s needed.”

“Tell them that while the gesture is appreciated, it’s unnecessary.” Dillon reassured. “Roman and Remus are both doing fine. They talked about it, and now they’ve fallen asleep on the couch. II’s rather I’d wake them up to talk to you, but I think that they both needed the rest. You should all finish the round of interviews up there, and we’ll be fine until you return. ”

“That’s good to hear.” Logan agreed, and paused. “Patton is demanding photographic evidence of this occurrence.”

“I’ll send it once we finish talking here.”

“Splendid. Patton says to thank you for the photo in advance.” Logan paused again, listening, then spoke. “If he’s feeling up to it in the morning, however, would you mind having Roman call himself? I think both Patton and Virgil would feel a little better if they were to hear from him. If he isn’t, however, I believe hearing from Remus would suffice.” “I’ll ask as soon as they wake up.” Dillon promised.

“Good,” Logan said briefly, then there was a pause. A rather long one.

“Logan, are you still there?”

“Yes, sorry about that.” Logan apologized. “Patton has just dragged Virgil into his hotel room. I managed to convince them they both need to get some sleep, as it’s rather late here.” Dillon checked the clock, which read 11:37 pm, then did the math in his head. “Right, it’s almost 3:00 in the morning there, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be getting to bed too?”

“Yes, you are right about that.” Logan paused, then continued. “I did want to talk to you without the two of them present.” Dillon frowned at that.

“What about?” “You’ve been very calm through our whole conversation, which is unusual for you. Which means you’re plotting again.” “What? /Me?/” Dillon said, as innocently as he could manage. “I don’t /plot./ I do.” Logan sighed.

“You can’t get revenge on every reporter who asks a question that you don’t like.”

“It’s more than just not liking the question and you know it, Logan.” Dillon argued. “Besides, I wouldn’t call it /revenge/. I’m simply going to use my status as one of Hollywood’s A-List celebrities to get an appearance on several of Osborne’s rival shows, as well as... encouraging... my fellow stars to do the same. Maybe it won’t affect him at all, or maybe he’ll happen to get low ratings for a little bit. Maybe it’ll give him some time to think about why you shouldn’t ask invasive questions.” Logan groaned but acquiesced.

“Alright, I know I can’t stop you,” Logan conceded, “but as your friend, I’m asking you to be careful. The PR department already is going to have to do a lot of work to smooth things over after Remus stormed out. And his reaction tonight is only going to attract those who seek out drama. What I’m saying is that the last thing we need right now is a repeat of the Wine Incident from the Season Two interviews.” Dillon winced a little at that.

“You’re right, I did go too far back then.” He admitted. “But you don’t need to worry too much, Remus is calm for now, but tensions are still high. I think I’m going to have my hands full with keeping him from decking any reporters who get nosy.”

“That’s good to hear.” Logan yawned, loud and tired. Dillon smiled gently.

“You should get to bed. I hear you have a long day of interviews tomorrow.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Logan agreed. “If you need to talk about any of this, though, I’m here for you.”

“Me?” Dillon said in surprise. “I’m fine. Roman and Remus are the ones having to deal with their painful past being dragged back into the media’s line of fire.” “Dillon.” Logan said, not unkindly. “You may not be as entangled in it all as the two of them are, but I know it affects you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Remus is your husband, and Roman is practically your brother. And you’ve been there for /both/ of them through a lot of the harder moments. Remus often tells me that he doesn’t think he would’ve made it through college alive without you. You’re just as invested in all of this. I know that if Patton was involved in something like this, it would affect me as well.”

“You’re right,” Dillon admitted. “I shouldn’t bottle up my feelings. I’ve told Pat that enough times and I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t take my own advice. I /am/ fine right now; I’ll let you know if that changes.”

“Good. I should be off to bed. Tell Roman and Remus we called, and we’re all here for them. For /all/ of you.”

“I will.” Dillon promised, and the conversation ended.

Dillon left the kitchen and moved to the living room to check on Roman and Remus again. While he wanted to let them sleep, he knew Remus’s back would be killing him in the morning if he slept all night on the couch. When he reached the couch, he was greeted by Remus blinking sleepily up at him, Roman still sound asleep in his lap.

“Was that Shakespeare calling?” Remus asked. Dillon nodded.

“Yes, he just wanted to make sure everything was alright.” “Good, good.” Remus murmured, sinking back into the couch, looking like he was about to fall back asleep. Dillon sighed and touched him gently on the shoulder.

“You should really move to bed, love. Your back is going to hate you in the morning if you don’t.”

“Don’t wanna.” Remus grumbled stubbornly. “Besides, can’t wake the baby.” He jabbed a sleepy finger down towards Roman. Dillon shook his head fondly.

“Alright, but don’t blame me when it hurts to stand up tomorrow.” Dillon began to move away from the couch when Remus grabbed his hand. Dillon looked back down at his husband.

“Stay, Dee-Dee?” Remus asked softly, looking up at him with big eyes.

“Ree—” Dillon started, but Remus didn’t let him finish, swinging their interlinked arms back and forth.

“Come on Dilly, Dill Pickle, Dill Dill, Dill-man, Armo/Dillon/…”

“Are you quite done?” Dillon asked, raising his eyebrow as Remus continued, not even stopping to breathe.

“...Dilly Bear, Lil Dill, Sylvester /Dill/one, Daddy Dill, Big D...” Remus took a deep breath and continued. “Dillhemina, Dill-a-dong, Dillykins, Dilly-boo, Dill-pill, Dillarino…” He trailed off, then shrugged. “Ok, now I’m done.” Dillon shook his head, though a slow smile was forming on his face.

“Fine, I’ll stay.” Remus began to cheer softly as Dillon settled next to him, on the side that wasn’t currently occupied by a sleeping Roman. “But only because I love you.”

“It’s ‘cause I’m so handsome.” Remus mumbled sleepily, snuggling into Dillon’s side the best he could without disturbing Roman.

“The handsomest man in the world.” Dillon agreed, wrapping his arms around both of his boys. Maybe he couldn’t stop every rude question or nasty reporter, but he could be there for them.

At last, the house was quiet, with only the sounds of night filling the air.

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Actor AU Taglist:

@ironwoman359

@galacticguppy

@trashpanda-remus

@atticusfinchthelegend

@ravenclawunicorn1

#sanders sides #ts actor au #my writing #my au #deceit sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #dukeceit #minor prinxiety #minor logicality #sympathetic deceit sanders #sympathetic remus sanders #deceit being a great husband/friend/brother-in-law

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literarytrashcollection · 5 years

Text

The New Recruit (3/?)

AN: Some major plot reveals in this one. Also, a touch of Brand New Winter Soldier. Let me know what y’all think of it!

I felt sick sitting in front of the same people in the same conference room. Natasha looked almost smug as I wrung my hands anxiously.

“So, why are we here again?” Tony asked, tossing a stress ball in the air and catching it again. The sound of the soft rubber slapping against his palm started getting annoying after the twenty-seventh catch.

“Y/N has something that she would like to share with the group.” Bucky announced, his face split in half with the Cheshire cat’s smile. I wanted to punch him then and there more than I ever had before. How dare he act like a child, getting another in trouble?

“Does this have anything to do with the information you gave us when we first interviewed you?” Steve asked, bouncing a pen on a notepad in front of him. Everyone’s little tics were going to drive me insane. I wanted to make them all hold still. I wished I could suck all of the sound out of the room.

“Yes,” I whispered, my voice caught around the lump in my throat. I cleared my throat, once, twice, three times before I finally felt brave enough to speak again. “I never technically lied to any of you.” I started out. “It was more an omission of truth.”

Tony sat forward a little, his face sinking from the bored look into a more serious one. Everyone seemed to be staring at me with some level of distrust or anger, like predators surrounding prey. The kindest set of eyes were Thor’s. He sat in his chair, sprawled back with hands folded over his chest, lips turned up in a slight smile.

“I was born in the late 1870’s.” I blurted after a long time. “December 7th, 1876.”

If Natasha was any more smug, she would have shoved out of her chair and yelled “A-ha!” She didn’t though, thankfully. No one around the table said anything for a long time, each analyzing me with varying levels of distrust, interest and ridicule.

Finally, after centuries of waiting, “So, you’re older than the Cap and Tin-Man put together?” Sam asked, fingers drumming on the table as he did the math. “Maybe not the number of years they’ve been on this Earth, but their physical age? Actually, no, you are older than all of their years put together.”

I laughed a little, a hysterical burst of crazed laughing that ended as abruptly as it started. “Something like that, yeah.” I nodded. I could feel sweat dripping through my scalp and pooling in my pits. My hands were slick with it. I wanted nothing more than a long shower. It had been decades since I had admitted my true age. I was comfortable without acknowledging my age. This was foreign, a sickly feeling that left me feeling hollow and threadbare.

“You’re 143 years old?” Wanda asked, voice tinged with almost awe that I quickly dismissed as her accent.

I nodded again, cringing a little at the number. “I’ve stayed in the shadows. Maintained the opposite of a notable human life. Unless you count the time I spent fighting during World War Two.”

“You told us that HYDRA killed your family,” Steve interjected, voice clipped with barely contained anger. He’d been asking these questions for how long now?

“They did. My last remaining relatives, grand-nieces and grand-nephews who knew me as this eccentric aunt who traveled around a lot.” I met his eyes without flinching. I remembered Cap as the leader of the Howlies. The Avengers were just the upgrade. The modernized version. Same war, different year.

He chewed the inside of his lip and gave me a curt nod. “You destroyed… massive weapons depots. Sometimes we’d be riding up just as you dispatched the last soldier.”

“And I always gave you all of the credit.”

“Why?”

“I never wanted to be another Captain America. If I gave you the credit, then at least the destruction was believable and I could remain safely out of anyone’s cross hairs.”

“SHIELD knew about you, back then at least.” He countered. “What’s to say they haven’t still been monitoring you?”

I flicked a glance over at Natasha. “She’d have blown the whistle the second I walked in.”

Natasha’s face fell slightly. “I’ve read files on you, from Cap’s era. They made it seem like you died sometime in the late sixties.”

“Y/N Y/L/N died in the sixties. I could no longer use the name and have the face I had. My age just wouldn’t match up anymore. I couldn’t play it off anymore.

“So, new identity, for the second time. The first time was in the thirties, just before I got active in the war. All of them homemade, of course. I watched the technological evolution so learning it wasn’t hard, figuring out how to do that for myself wasn’t hard. I couldn’t have any paper trail that anyone could follow. That identity died in the early 2000’s. I changed back to same name from the sixties. Who’s gonna match the names up, the face, the prints, any of it? If I just keep my head down, stick to a menial job, who cares about little ol’ me?”

“Then why join the Avengers if you’re trying to stay out of the limelight?” Tony asked, giving me a nauseating feeling of déjà vu.

“There’s finally a time where my differences will be appreciated, my powers make me useful and looked up to, rather made into a science project or looked at like a freak.” I shrugged, folding my hands together in front of me.

“Why not back during the war? You would have been worshiped the way Steve was.” Bucky’s devilish smile was gone, replaced by a deep set frown and genuine interest.

I looked over at him and felt my skin start to heat up. “Because HYDRA came after me. Or they would. And what do you know? You did. I can count eight different times you were wiped and sent after me after Steve went into the ice. Not to kill, but you almost did two different times.”

Eyes around the room seemed to flick over to Bucky, my comment a reminder of the sheer lack of stability he had from all the fucking around in his head HYDRA did. Tony’s eyes lingered on him the longest, the pain in his eyes clear and deep.

“That wasn’t me,” Bucky said gently.

“I know it wasn’t. It was the Winter Soldier. He just had your face. You always looked so surprised when I told you that we had met before. As soon as I found that you were on my tail, I had to disappear. I already lived a bare life, your constant stalking just made me that much more of a ghost.”

“Did you ever get the chance to have a family of your own?” Wanda asked, voice definitely sad this time.

“No,” I met her wide eyes and saw the empathy in them. “I run cold. It’s like my body is literally frozen in time. Too cold to house human life. Too frozen to even conceive. So I keep my distance from everyone. The Winter Solider was my first partner, in the early fifties.” I said it without hesitation. Bucky’s face turned bright red and I saw Sam physically restraining himself from clapping his buddy on the shoulder.

“Y/N, listen,” Tony took a deep breath and sighed heavily. He looked tired. The fighting had aged him, made his body wary. “We knew you were lying. We wanted to see the honesty, and now we have it. We’re obviously not going to kick you out or anything. Your powers are… incredible. And terrifying. No more secrets, yeah?”

I nodded enthusiastically, my eyes continuing to roll in their sockets for a moment after I stopped. “No more secrets.”

“Good, dismissed.” He waved us all out, everyone getting up and filing out slowly. I stayed in my seat, staring out the window as I urged my heartbeat to slow.

“Lady Y/N, I believe that I might have the answer to some questions I feel you’ve been asking for many years,” Thor said gently from across the room, still lounged in his chair.

“Oh?”

“My brother, Loki, he spoke of time on Midgard during the time frame you say you were born. He told me of a woman of extraordinary power, more power than any mere mortal, and the time he spent with her. It is possible that you are the production of his time on this Earth.”

My eyes widened slightly. “You mean, I’m Loki’s daughter?”

“No,” he chuckled, face split in a smile like a loyal dog. “You’re no demi-god. But, it’s possible that he tested the mixture of some percentage of his DNA injected into yours. It’s possible he transfused some of his blood into your body and that’s what’s causing these extraordinary powers. Your lack of aging could be similar to our extended aging.”

I stared at him for a long time. “Uncle Thor?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “If that’s the title you wish to use, you may. But Loki is not your biological father.”

I shrugged. “It’s been 130 years since I’ve seen my real father. At this point, I don’t have one.”

West Berlin, 1952

I sat outside a small café, sipping the honeyed tea I’d been given as I watched passersby. I relished in my time in the cosmopolitan surrounded by war and passive-aggressive Cold War penis measuring.

I kept my sunglasses high, the scarf wrapped around my hair hid the majority of my features well. I’d long stopped fighting HYDRA, leaving the work to SHIELD and their agents. I’d moved into a tiny apartment near the trains. I only used my powers within the confines of my home.

“Y/N,” called a familiar voice, in a distinctly American accent. A rock seemed to settle in my stomach and I felt heat begin to crawl across my fingers. I ignored the call, taking another measured sip of tea. “Y/N!” The voice was closer now, memories of dark cement holding cells dredged up with the baritone sound.

I continued to ignore it, letting my eyes wander across the faces in the immediate crowd, trying to pick out a familiar one. I hadn’t made any friends since my move. I’d rarely spoken to my neighbors, the landlord, the waitress tending me. I kept my face down, my voice low. I shouldn’t have known anyone.

The man that slid into the seat next to me made my fingers literally tremble. The barely contained fire burning under my skin seemed to sky rocket from mildly uncomfortable to horribly painful. “No. No. You’re dead,” I shook my head, peering into the ice blue eyes that had once seemed so innocent, another boyish lad sent to a war that he had no business fighting.

“Do we know each other?” Bucky asked. His hair was longer now, tied neatly at the base of his skull. He wore a polished suit of black with a cream shirt beneath it. He was different, in more ways than one. The blankness in his eyes was gut-wrenching, but the glittering metal hand that folded with his flesh one on the table made me nauseous.

“I mourned you with the rest of America when you died.” I hissed.

“I think you’re mistaking me,” he murmured. “I can’t say we’ve met before. I was asked by my superiors to talk to you about a job position we think you’d be perfect for.”

I blinked at him, not that he could tell behind the sunglasses.

“We know about your powers,” he whispered, leaning across the table. “We need a woman of your strength.”

“Do you know that Steve is gone?” I asked. “Are you taking over for him as Captain America? What about the Howling Commandos?”

He barked a laugh that didn’t touch his eyes. “What are you going on about, darlin’?”

That’s when I realized what was wrong with him. Nothing touched his eyes. He’d filled out, much more than he’d been when we’d last met. Not naturally either. I’d seen how much Steve changed after the super solider serum. Bucky’s changed seemed the same. But SHIELD wouldn’t be doing testing like that anymore.

“Who do you work for?”

“A very special deep science-slash-military faction for the government.” He answered, cool as you please. “Your blood would help us create more like you, make your abilities normalized so you could flourish, instead of hide. We could also use your strength in the field.”

“Which government?” I demanded. My skin was prickling. My gut said run.

“We’re the good guys, I can assure you,” he smiled so brightly that I almost believed it. “Let me take you for a drink, we can talk about it more.”

I shook my head. “I’m not interested.” I started to stand but the glittering hand snatched my wrist. He jerked me back and I landed in his lap. A few customers around looked at us, scandalized by our display, but quickly looked away when he pressed a scorching kiss to my lips.

When he broke away, his fingers all but crushing my jaw as he held me close. “It wasn’t an option.” He snarled, voice rough like gravel beneath bare feet, the sound scraping against my nerves.

I gripped his wrist, letting my hand heat up until he released me, growling in pain. “Guess you’ll have to get me first.” I snapped and started running, all care for the people staring after me gone as the Winter Solider chased after me.

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cynicallystiles · 6 years

Text

Beach Sunrises: Ruin

Author: @cynicallystiles

Warning: Mostly angst, but hey there’s slight fluff at the end. Cursing, embarrassment, yadda yadda.

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Summary: While on tour one day, Shawn sees a woman watching the sunrise by herself. Thinking that he’ll never see her again, he tries to forget as he goes on with the rest of his day. But, serendipity seems to have other ideas…

Notes: Yo, this is hella late. But, like I’ve been so busy adjusting to college and I’ve already had a minor emotional breakdown this week! But, I persevered (for now)! But, this is hella long and I actually maybe like it? ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT AFTER THIS FOR THE SERIES. PLEASE REBLOG OR COMMENT if you like it! I always welcome messages and asks about my work! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 10 Part 12

Words: 10,435

First P.O.V.

You know, I wasn't all that sure at first about Nick letting me use him as a distraction. It felt wrong...like, really wrong because I didn't know where it was gonna go or if I was ever gonna get over Shawn. And Nick is the sweetest guy I've ever met. So that made it feel triply wrong. But, he insisted and I'll admit that it didn't take me much convincing.

I mean, how often do incredibly sweet, funny, smart, and attractive guys give you permission to use them as a distraction? And without expecting it to become more than that once you've healed up some. Not a lot, that's how many.

It's true, he didn't push me to make it a real relationship. He lets me set the pace and respects my decisions. When you're with a guy that amazing...it's hard to set boundaries for yourself on whether or not you're really ready to start a new relationship. Which is why I didn't mean to elevate us to a couple...it just happened.

I can't say that I mind because I love being with him. It was easy to become close to him and forget about Shawn. But, people finding out about us was kind of my fault. I've been so out of my shell lately and more confident that I don't really keep all my secrets that guarded. If someone wants to know something, I'll happily tell them if I feel like it.

So while we were in New Zealand, I had been asked to go on the radio show The Edge NZ and I asked if Nick could come along. At the beginning, it was more about the documentary and when it'd be coming out and what everyone could expect. Stuff like that. Then, they wanted to play a question game that I, unfortunately, agreed to.

It was a game they invented for Shawn a few years ago called Please, Have Mercy on Me. In his version, they attached electric clamps to a shirtless guy and every time Shawn refused to answer a question, the guy got shocked. Well, I just felt really bad about getting someone else shocked so I insisted that the clamps go on my index fingers. I'm not scared of a little electricity.

The questions are a mixed bag of random facts about me that people want to know and more personal and intimate questions that they thought I would be reluctant to answer. I was in such a carefree mood that I slipped up toward the middle of the interview.

"Alright! We'll start out with an easy one...what is your worst habit?"

I clear my throat and lean closer to the microphone. "Ummm...I pick and scratch a lot."

"What do you mean by that?" He inquires.

I shrug. "Like...I pick at acne a lot, which is why I have scars. And my legs itch a lot after hair removal so sometimes I'll literally scratch until I break skin...it's really bad," I chuckle.

"Sounds like it! Onto the next one...how old were you when you lost your v-plates?" He questions.

"Oh, man. Straight for the dirty details," I laugh. "Okay. Um...seventeen," I admit.

He chuckles, "Late bloomer are ya?"

"Just really picky. Should've been pickier, to be honest," I confess.

He ponders my answer before moving on. "That seems like a good segway into...what is the number of sexual partners you've had?"

"Three," I say simply.

His eyebrows shoot up. "Just three? You're twenty-two, correct?" I nod and remember that it's a radio show so I say yes. "You've only been with three people. Wow, that's just hard to believe," he rambles.

"Why's that?" I quirk my eyebrows at the comment.

He shrugs. "Nothing, it's just that there are people younger than you who probably have a really high number and don't answer the question," he informs me.

I nod my head slowly. "People with high numbers at young ages are usually serial hook uppers. Not that I'm judging...I'm just saying that my number is low because despite what some people say," I take a deep breath, "I am serious about that part of my life."

"Roger that," he says clearly uncomfortable at my icy statement. I look at Nick who is trying to contain his amusement at me snapping on the guy. I shoot him a playful glare as the guy continues. "I gotta say, this game isn't very interesting if you don't get shocked."

I shrug as a confident smile comes to my lips. "I'm an open book," I challenge.

"Maybe this one will get you...who is the rudest celebrity you've ever met?" He leans forward in anticipation.

I relax further into my chair as I look at Nick. "I dunno...that one over there could definitely use some manners," I giggle. He chuckles at my antics. "But, in all seriousness...I've only met like a handful of celebs and no one's really been rude to me, per se. If I had to pick someone that was the least nice, I would probably pick Camila Cabello."

"Ooo, juicy. Do tell why," he insists.

I roll my eyes. "There's not much I can say. I met her once for like three seconds and she barely acknowledged my existence," I inform him. "She was a little preoccupied so I can't blame her."

"I think you're the first person to answer that question."

"I'm not looking for drama but I'm not backing out and getting shocked by a fetish toy," I laugh.

He nods appreciatively. "Fair enough. This one might get you shocked," he giggles excitedly. "What's the oldest lover you've had?"

"Twenty...four?" I say with a look of concentration as I do the math. "No! Babe, you turned twenty-five in March right? Yeah? Okay, twenty-five. Final answer," I chuckle.

The room falls silent as everyone has surprised and amused looks on their faces. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"Twenty-five...why?" I ask as I look at Nick, genuinely not knowing what everyone was gawking at. But when I see a look of nervousness on his face it hits me.

"You just asked Nick to confirm his age...which means you've hooked up with him recently!" He laughs and my face turns red.

I swallow and lean closer to the mic again. "Next question, please," I say lowly before bursting into laughter.

"I think we all know the answer to this next one...who was the last celebrity you kissed?" He smirks.

Too late to go back now. "Obviously that snack sitting over there," I chuckle.

"Alright and last question coming up...what celeb would you love to hook up with?"

I scoff. "Easy one...Ni-"

"Ah! Besides your boyfriend over there," he challenges.

My eyes flick from the interviewer to Nick. They both look genuinely curious. I swallow the lump in my throat as I take a deep breath and release it. "I'm gonna have to plead the fifth on that one...so go on and shock me," I say as I close my eyes and wait for the pain.

It actually didn't hurt that bad because it was the first one I didn't answer. So the voltage was on low and it felt more like a tiny little zap. Anyway, news of my interview slip up spread like wildfire throughout both of our fanbases and I didn't mind at all.

There's no reason to be ashamed of the fact that we're together in whatever way. We're both adults and we can do as we please. When we all got back to the states, it was really interesting. Like, I was surprised by the fact that people were actually not prying that much into our relationship or the nature of it.

I have to say we did have one weird experience while we were in Seattle, Nick's hometown. On a day off from Hailee's shows, he took me to the Space Needle since I'd never been. While we were waiting in line, a fan literally started yelling across the distance something about 'mom and dad'. I turned to Nick with a bewildered look and we both couldn't contain our laughter. Fans are super weird, but also super awesome.

August came quicker than I expected. It's hard to keep track of time when I'm so busy with work. But, also because I'm enjoying all my time with Nick. Sometime in April, he had gotten an offer for an amazing movie role. They shot some of the scenes before he left with us on tour, but he has to go back at the end of August to finish it.

At the end of July, I was contacted about doing another interview. This time, it was for The Late Late Show. And I have to say I'm pretty freaking excited about it. James is hilarious and I wouldn't want to do my American interview debut with anyone else. I was supposed to go in on some day during the first week or so of August. I'm not really keeping track of specific dates.

So, I get there sometime in the morning to shoot the interview. Which I was really shocked for some reason to find out that it wasn't actually filmed at night. Like, I just could not wrap my head around it. I arrived in a car with Nick and Hailee. As I got out, I moved to kiss Nick goodbye.

"I guess I'll see you later," I grin at him.

He quirks an eyebrow at me. "Um, no. We're staying," he chuckles. "Didn't anyone tell you that I'm the second guest and Hailee is performing?"

"I guess not...this is even more exciting then!" I squeal as they get out of the car and I walk hand in hand with Nick to the lot.

Once we checked in, they separated us all to get our hair and makeup done. The nice people did my makeup simply and put beach waves in my hair. We got to wear our own outfits so Nick wore something chill like he always does. Basic jeans rolled up at the bottom to show off his boots and a plain tee under an unbuttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up. There's something sexy about how down to earth he is.

I'm kind of the same as him in that way. I like dressing up when the occasion calls for it, but most of the time I just want to be comfortable. So I wore light blue, high-waisted ankle skinny jeans and some simple black and white sneakers. I also chose a loose, white, and hardly see-through tank top that barely outlined my black push-up bra. My shirt has a cool watercolor painting of a mom and baby gorilla and the front is tucked into my jeans.

I wasn't told about anything special happening besides an interview and maybe participating in one of his games. But, I was still on edge because James is notorious for bringing up embarrassing things.

They've already put us all in our own dressing rooms which is driving up my anxiety. Nick is to be announced first in the Orange Room, then me in the Blue, and lastly, Hailee in the Red as the musical guest. I'm pacing around, unable to relax when I get a text.

Nick: Quite pacing! You're gonna make a rut in the floor lol

I quickly respond.

Me: How do you know I'm pacing?

Nick: Because you're you😜

Me: Ugh, you're annoying...

This is taking too long. I open my door and check the hallway to see if it's clear. When I find that it is, I sneakily run down the hallway and lightly knock on his dressing room door. He opens it, full celebrity smile on and then sees me.

"Y/n, I didn't know you got a job with The Late Late Show," he teases.

I roll my eyes at him. "Har, har," I mock him before quickly looking around. "Are you gonna let me in or not?"

He squints at the ceiling in concentration as if he's thinking really hard about it. I scoff, turning around to leave when he grabs my hand and pulls me inside. Once the door is closed, his hands find a home just below my ears as he leans down for a lingering kiss.

All of my jitters melted away right into that kiss as my hands grab fistfuls of his shirt and he backs me up into the door. It amazes me how he can always make a kiss feel both electric and soothing at the same time. One of his hands finds the small of my back and applies pressure.

I hum into the kiss as we make our way further into the dressing room and fall onto the couch. My hands pull him back to me by the nape of his neck before gripping the roots of his hair. His hands wander under my shirt and his fingers make my skin burn everywhere they graze. We both completely forget about everything else but each other.

Until a knock sounds at the door.

We break apart and look at the door. The knock happens again, this time louder. Shit. We both look back at each other and burst into laughter as he gets up quickly and we move to the door. I stand behind it as he cracks it open, a shy and mischievous smile on his face.

"Nick! What's up, buddy? Took a minute to answer...we thought you might've been kidnapped," James jokes from his place on stage.

I hear Nick laugh nervously. I can't help but mess with him as I quietly lean up and place a kiss on the fingers that are on this side of the door. He wiggles them before moving them higher on the door where I can't reach.

"Uh," he chuckles, "yeah, sorry about that I was just doing some relaxation techniques to get rid of some nerves."

There's a pause and a little laughter from the crowd so I can assume that James is making a funny face. "Relaxation techniques, huh? Is that what they're calling it these days?"

"What, uh...what do you mean?" He asks, clearly guilty.

"You've got a bit of lipgloss smudged on your lip, mate," James points out.

I don't have to see his face to know that he's gone beet red. Biting my lip to contain my laughter, I let my head fall forward and it bumps the door. I lift it back up quickly, my laughter just barely being contained.

Nick clears his throat. "Oh, really? Man must've gotten messed up when I was eating that sandwich a minute ago. I'll have to go redo it now...see ya later," he laughs as he slowly closes the door.

As soon as the door is closed, I take the opportunity of James introducing me to open the door and run down the hallway at full speed. Just as I can hear him finishing up my intro, I can see the assistant about to knock on my door. I skid to a stop right in front of her and rush inside.

Not a second later, there's a knock. I open it up and rest against the doorframe nonchalantly. Although, I'm panting like crazy from the sprint. "Oh...hey James! How's it goin'?" I begin the little rehearsed spiel, but James has other ideas.

"Y/n! You, uh...you seem a little out of breath there," he snickers.

I clear my throat and take a final deep breath to subdue the panting. "Nah, I'm good. Just doing some jumping jacks to work out my extra energy," I explain falsely.

He eyes me suspiciously. "Y/n, you are aware that we all just saw you run into your room before we knocked? Yes?"

"Oh, um," my eyes widen and then I scoff playfully. "You caught me! I had to go to the bathroom since my dressing room doesn't have one...I'm a little offended, James."

He doesn't take my bait to change the subject. "You've got a little..." James says as he touches his upper lip with his finger. I brush my thumb over where he's indicating and feel the smudged lip gloss. "Anything you want to tell us?" He raises an eyebrow comically.

I make an over-exaggerated thinking face before looking back at the camera innocently. "Not that I can think of...I really should do some of those jumping jacks though! I'll see you out there," I wave as I close the door slowly while he tries to continue talking.

A short time later we come out to the stage for the game that we're supposed to be participating in. "Alright, ladies and gentleman! Tonight's game was a bit of a challenge to figure out because we seem to have a diva among us," James teases as he unsubtly nods his head to me.

I mock being offended as Nick chuckles beside me. "I'm sorry that you have such a limited selection, James," I joke back. Nick 'ooo's' beside me and it's James' turn to mock being offended.

"Well, we can't do a riff-off..."

"Because neither I nor Nick are singers," I point out.

"And we can't do Nuzzle Whaaa?..."

"Because I know you're gonna make me stick my face into something that I'm scared of! The last one I watched had snakes!! Nuhhuh," I shake my head as a shiver runs through me at the thought.

He chuckles and continues, "So that leaves...Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts!"

"I have a really weak stomach, but it's a good thing I'm honest," I laugh.

"But there's a twist! We're doing a couples' edition just for the two of you," he announces.

My mouth falls open in shock and amusement. "Ohh," I chuckle. "I can't wait to hear the rules," I say sarcastically.

The crowd roars and we go sit around the table.

Third P.O.V.

Ever since Shawn saw the photos of y/n and Nick together, he's been a moping mess. He's been obsessively following everything he can about her for the past few weeks. And to make matters worse it's his 22nd birthday, which he thought he was going to be able to spend with her.

So, when Shawn read the tweet about her and Nick and Hailee all being on The Late Late Show...of course he stayed up to watch it. James started out by introducing them as this summer's hottest trio and then singularly introduced them. Shawn knew it wouldn't be easy to watch them even be next to each other. But to have them be so blatant about their relationship threw him off.

She was obviously in his dressing room and they were doing god only knows what before the introduction. What makes Shawn's teeth grit and his skin hot is that she doesn't seem to even be remotely hurting anymore. How could that be? She told him that he was only the second serious relationship she'd been in and yet he was the one devastated.

They dated for six months, they were intimate, and the second Shawn fucks up...she jumps into bed with Nick. He just can't fathom it. As he continued watching the show, they got to the game segment of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts. But, it's a couples' edition so the rules are a little different.

As they settled into their seats and took in the items in front of them, James explained the rules. "So, how it works is I'll ask each of you a question about the other and if you can't answer it you have to eat what I've chosen...you'll get to ask me questions about my wife and my family in return..."

"Sounds easy enough," she speaks enthusiastically as she shimmies her shoulders excitedly. She looks at Nick adoringly and he returns it. Shawn's stomach twists in its place.

James interrupts their loving gazes. "But! All of the foods have an aphrodisiac spin...and if either of you doesn't want the other to answer...you can eat the food for them! But you only get to save them once."

Both of their faces contort in a strange mix of disgust and intrigue as they chuckle. With one final look at each other, they turn back to James. "Bring it on, man," Nick challenges.

The questions start out sort of easy, but both y/n and Nick are determined to beat James at his own game so they're being pretty honest. "Guys! This game is no fun if you don't eat something gross!" James whines.

"Well," she quirks an eyebrow up sassily. "I guess you'll have to ask harder questions.

James nods approvingly. "Well, alright then..."

He spins the table, trying to choose what to give Nick to eat. He positions the oyster juice in front of him and he scrunches his nose as the smell hits him. Shawn smirks to himself. He hopes he has to drink it.

"So, Nick...out of these animals, which is y/n not afraid of: crickets, turtles, frogs, or spiders?" James asks.

Nick starts laughing nervously. And y/n looks down at her lap as she laughs uncontrollably. Her animal fears are the strangest ones Shawn has ever heard of, but he knows the correct answer. James notices her wheezing in laughter and he begins to do it as well.

"Uh..." Nick says, "I'm gonna have to go with turtles. Who's afraid of turtles right?" He asks jokingly as he looks at James. She slowly raises her hand and James points to her. "Really?" He shakes his head as he picks up the cup and takes a disgusting sip. He shakes his head at the taste as he sets it back down. "Please get her back for that."

She giggles as James turns the table to have the strawberry and salmon ice cream in front of her. Her smile fades and she visibly gags. "Oh! This is gonna be worse than Charlie's reaction if I have to eat that!"

"This one might get you in some hot water if you answer...how many of Nick's movies have you actually seen?" He giggles maniacally.

She blinks for a moment before answering. "I believe I've seen five," she admits. James' face goes still.

"I can't believe you answered that," he says in awe.

She shrugs. "If you think that's gonna get me in some hot water then I'd hate to hear what you think will start a fight," she chuckles.

The game continues and she still hasn't eaten anything. Nick and James have had their fair share. All Shawn can think about is how he wouldn't have to eat anything because he knows everything about her. "Nick, I think it's time to get her don't you think?"

"Yeah, I agree," he nods with a silly smile. Together they agree to set the honey covered crickets in front of her.

She frowns in distaste. "Ugh, two things I hate."

"You what?? You hate honey?" She nods at the same time Shawn does from his living room. "You are weird! This next one will get you, I know it will...is Nick the first celebrity you've hooked up with?"

She takes a deep breath. Looking between the crickets and Nick. Although, Nick already knows the answer. It's a matter of whether or not she wants the world to know. She shakes her head at the crickets and opens her mouth to answer. Shawn and James are on the edge of their seats.

"Well-"

She's interrupted by Nick reaching over and grabbing a cricket and throwing it in his mouth. He grimaces as he chews. "Nick! What the hell was that?? We were finally gonna get her!" James exclaims.

"Actually," he says as he swallows, "she was gonna answer and I don't think she should have to. So now I can say that I've eaten a cricket covered in honey!"

James frowns. "I have one last question for her...and you just used your only save. She'll have to eat or tell the truth," he rubs his hands together excitedly.

"Go for it..." she says nervously.

He has the evilest smirk on his face and she knows he has a question that will get her. James turns the chocolate covered chili peppers in front of her. She frowns as she lets out a little whimper.

"So, y/n...back at the Grammy awards over a year and a half ago when you attended with Shawn, he kissed you when he won his category..."

Her eyes widen and her nervous demeanor turns into uneasiness for a whole different reason. "Oh, god," she mumbles before covering her face, clearly knowing where this is going. Shawn almost chokes on his water at the mention of his name.

"...who...between Shawn and Nick is the better kisser?" He finishes and throws the card in the air in triumph. She's still as a rock as she contemplates her choice. In her mind, they're so different but are equally good. That might be a little lie...

She swallows hard. "Am I allowed to say neither?" She asks shyly.

"Depends on your reasoning..."

She picks at her nails in her lap as she avoids everyone's eyes. Nick's, James', the audience, hell even the camera. "Um...because I feel like they were the same on the level of good, even though they're so different..." she says quietly.

"That's bulls**t. I don't believe it one bit...one of them has to be just a smidge higher than the other," James challenges, an amused smirk on his face.

She clenches her jaw, clearly not happy about the question. Steeling herself, she quickly reaches up and takes a bite of the pepper and chews quickly. The crowd bursts into chaos as she chews and James is losing his shit.

"Oh my god!!! YOU ATE THE F*****G PEPPER!!" He wheezes in between laughs. When she swallows, she chugs her milk with a pained expression. Nick claps beside her, clearly not phased by her not wanting to answer. He knows deep down that she's still not over Shawn, and he's okay with that. He can't blame her for not moving on quickly from her first real love.

The segment cuts out for a commercial. Shawn leans back in his seat. So, Nick knows about them. He didn't think y/n was the type to disclose that if it wasn't important. As Shawn thinks about that, the show comes back on and they come down the stairs to the couch.

Nick sits closest to James and y/n sits on his left where his arm is slung around her. His thumb is lightly tracing patterns on her exposed shoulder. First, they talk about the new movie Nick is working on and then they throw in some questions about Hailee's documentary.

Of course, the questions shift back to their relationship. "So...when did the two of you actually first meet?"

"It was at a, uh...a birthday party," Nick answers and y/n nods with a smile.

James furrows his eyebrows. "Might I ask, whose birthday party?" Shawn has a feeling that James already knew the answer, he just wants to see them squirm.

"It was Shawn's," she says plainly, no emotion in her voice. Either she really had moved on or she was covering up something. Shawn couldn't tell which. But as he watches the screen, he finally gets a good look at her shirt. He couldn't see it before because of how high the table seemed next to her, but he could see it now. It was the tank top he bought her from their trip to the Toronto Zoo. His heart aches at remembering that amazing day.

James nods thoughtfully. "Ah, Shawn. He's a favorite here on The Late Late Show...and if I'm not mistaken...it's his twenty-second birthday today," he says theatrically. She bites on her bottom lip hard and briefly, looks down at her lap before pursing her lips together. "Do the two of you want to give a quick shoutout in case he's watching?"

Nick says a polite 'Happy Birthday' and then all eyes turn to y/n. She closes her eyes momentarily and she opens them as she lifts her head up and smiles politely. "Happy Birthday, Shawn! I hope you actually remember this one," she says that line with biting sarcasm and a hint of shade.

There's a twinge of old guilt that flares up in his heart at her words. He's apologized for that and she accepted it. She's clearly just upset that everyone keeps bringing him up. James notices the ice in her remark.

"I would say that it's getting hot in here but clearly you have enough shade to keep us all cool," he jokes and she laughs at her own pettiness. "I have been meaning to ask...what happened between the two of you? You haven't been seen together since the week the music videos released and your interaction on Insta has been nothing but crickets...pun intended, y/n," he chuckles. "Did you have a falling out or?"

She flips some hair off of her shoulder and slightly leans into Nick for support. He tightens his hand around her shoulder and it makes Shawn sick. He's supposed to be the one giving her support in interviews, not be the reason that she needs it from another guy.

"No...we didn't have a falling out," she lies. "I know that comment might have seemed like we're on the outs but the truth is..." she shrugs dismissively and if you look closely you can see the sadness in her eyes. Her eyes flicker to the camera momentarily as her fingers play with the word on her necklace anxiously.

"People get careers and they don't always have time for each other and they grow apart. With both of us having time-consuming ones like being a rock star...” she smiles wistfully to herself as she continues, “or following celebrities around the globe...it's doubly hard to make time for each other. It's sad but it happens," she explains. "But, I still love him and I'll always be his biggest fan no matter where either of us is. Shawn, I wish you all the best and know that I'm always rooting for you," she finishes as she looks at the camera.

Shawn smiles sadly as he listens to her words. Her words sounded practiced at the beginning. But as they progressed, he could see the struggle in her eyes under the shine of the tears that want to drip. She blinks to conceal them but that doesn't stop Shawn from seeing how much pain she's really in. The softest quiver in her voice when she said she still loves him struck something inside of him.

He wants to hope that she was trying to say that she wants him back. But, she has Nick. So, Shawn turns the TV off and goes to his room. He takes his ring off and tosses it on the dresser as he always does before going to bed. But, this time it bounced too far and slid between the wall and the dresser.

Sighing, he walks over and pulls it away from the wall slightly. When he reaches down to feel for his ring, he also finds a hard plastic case. He retrieves them both and looks at the cracked case under his lamp. His heart begins pounding in his chest as he sees the familiar handwriting on the CD inside.

For Shawn,

With Love, Your Muse

He immediately grabs his laptop and puts it in before waiting anxiously as it loads. After a few agonizing minutes, the window pops up and he clicks play while turning up the volume all the way. Within the first two strums of the guitar, he knows exactly what song it is. Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur. She always joked that that could be their song because of how he took care of her the night they met.

Shawn's heart beats heavily as he watches the video. It's clearly her handiwork. The pictures and small clips tell a story. Their story. Or more of her perspective of the relationship. What Shawn could tell from the way she edited it was that she was in awe of him. And also that she was insecure at first before he opened her up.

From that very first night all the way up to including some from her last week in Toronto. It started out mostly of just pictures she took of him when he was asleep or not looking or screenshots of his snaps. Then as they got closer, there were video messages from Shawn, clips of him talking about her...the works. Then when the summer festivals came there were more pics and vids of the two of them having fun. Falling in love.

He felt the tears form in his eyes and he didn't try to stop them as they rolled down his cheeks. How could he have been so blind? She loved him back the whole time. She was just afraid that something exactly like what he did would happen. The last few videos and pictures were from the music videos and her week with him and his family. Some of the pictures were when they both weren't looking and he knows that Aaliyah took them. She looked so happy and at home with him.

The video began to fade to black. As the last ten seconds of the song played, a small note from her was displayed. He paused it so he could read it.

No more hiding. Not from you, not from the world, and not from myself. I am completely and stupidly in love with you, Shawn Mendes. Please, don't make me regret it.

His heart literally stopped in his chest for a few seconds. She must've been working on this before the interview happened. The case is cracked and was behind his dresser. He assumes she threw it and forgot about it.

His mind races as it tries to put together the puzzle pieces that are her. The video...the Euterpe necklace...the questions she wouldn't answer in interviews...the shirt from one of their dates...Nick letting her not answer that question...what she said for his birthday just now...click.

She hasn't moved on. She's still in love with him! Which means that there's a chance he can still get her back. He just has to act quickly before she and Nick become permanent. He already has the perfect plan forming in his head and he'll be sure to work out the exact details on his flight.

Within a few days, he arrives at the Sunset Hotel. He walks up to the front desk to find Xander scrutinizing a log book. Shawn clears his throat and he looks up as his shoulders jump.

"God! You have to stop showing up unannounced like this," he says. Though he clutches his heart in surprise, his tone doesn't suggest any actual contempt for Shawn.

Shawn shrugs as he moves closer and leans his elbows on the desk. "I can still get her back," he announces with determination.

"Wow, straight to the point. No small talk...no 'hi, Xander. How have you been?'...nothing," Xander teases.

He sighs in return. "I'm on a schedule. I can only get her back if I move fast. So are you gonna help me or not? Your input is vital," he reiterates.

"Shawn," he sighs, "I told you I'm not playing wingman for you anymore..."

Shawn is about to argue when a voice catches both of their attention. "I'll help." They both turn to find Anna standing there shyly.

"Really?" Shawn's eyebrows shoot up and she nods. "You hate me, though. You never wanted me to be with her," he reminds her.

She shrugs with a look of shame. "Yeah, but I hurt her far more than you did. I know that she still loves you so I want to help. I want her to be happy," she says quietly.

"Okay, thank you," he answered. "Xander, if Anna is on board then surely you can help too?"

Anna nods and they both look at him with pleading eyes. "Don't make me regret this, Mendes," he conceded. "You either, Anna."

They both cheer silently as they all lean in together for the details of his plan. "Okay, so first things first...I need all the footage and photos of y/n that you can find. I'm talking baby photos and home videos straight up until as recent as you can get...steal them from her Insta page if you have to," he instructs.

"What are you gonna do?" Anna asks curiously.

He takes a deep breath as he runs his hand through his curls anxiously. "I have to make a couple calls to get a few more people on board...hopefully they say yes."

"And if they don't?" Xander ponders out loud.

Shawn shrugs as a look of urgency crosses his face. "They have to. The plan doesn't work without them," he admits.

As they break to do their respective tasks, Xander lets Shawn stay in y/n's room to make the calls. A few hours later, he has everyone on board except for one. The phone rings as Shawn paces her room waiting for the last piece of the puzzle to pick up.

It finally stops ringing as someone answers, "Hello, this is Hailee's phone." Shawn's breath catches at the voice he hasn't heard in person for months. "Hello?" She asks again as if maybe he couldn't hear her.

"Uh...yes, is Hailee available?" He asks, slightly lowering his voice in an attempt to disguise it.

There's a pause. "No...she's doing a soundcheck right now. Who is this?"

He clears his throat before sighing. "It's...Shawn..."

"Why didn't you just say so," she responds, her voice less enthusiastic than before.

"I didn't want to upset you...I didn't think you'd answer Hailee's phone," he says honestly.

Silence fills the line. "Y/n? Listen, I can call back-"

Something shifts around the microphone as if the phone is being moved and then it clears up with a new out of breath voice. "Hey, Shawn. It's Hailee, what's up?"

“Hailee? Is that you?” He double-checks.

She lets out a small laugh. “Yes...y/n said you were on the phone so I took a five. This is Shawn...right?” She giggles nonchalantly.

“Yes! Sorry, I’m just a little caught off guard...” he explains.

“Why would you be caught off-guard? You called me, remember?”

He sighs. “Right. I did do that. I just wasn’t expecting y/n to pick up your phone-“

“Did you need something or not?” She asks slightly irritated that he interrupted soundcheck to ask about her.

He clears his throat. “I did. I need your help to get y/n back,” he says determinately.

She scoffs. “Why the hell would I help you do that? I saw what you said in that interview...plus she’s happy now! Why on this Earth would I help you rip her away from that?”

“Because you know just as well as I do that she may be happy with Nick, but she doesn’t love him,” he answers. There’s a long pause on her end so Shawn continues. “You and I both know the brave and strong front she puts up. She looks happy and together...but she’s not. Nick is nothing but a distraction-“

She interrupts him frustratedly, “Enough, Shawn! Jeez...you’re wrong. She is happy with him. Maybe even precisely for the fact that he isn’t you. And you just can’t stand that you’re not the one who does it anymore-“

“Hailee, I would bet you everything I have including my life that if you look at her closely...you’ll see it. Pay attention to what she wears, what she says...what she does. Because I saw her interview a few days ago. She’s miserable. And so am I...so just...watch her and if you don’t see it then fine. But the plan doesn’t work without you,” he pleads.

She swallows the lump in her throat from his words. Was she really so willing to believe that her best friend was magically okay overnight? And that she had gotten over Shawn that quickly? It’s naive but she’s unwilling to admit that he deserves her back.

“My five minutes are up...see you around, Shawn,” she sighs as she hangs up the phone.

Shawn’s grip tightens on the phone but he wills himself to have hope. Hailee loves her. She will look out for the signs and when she sees them...it’s only a matter of time.

First P.O.V.

In the blink of an eye, the end of August finally arrives and Nick has to go back to LA to finish the movie he started. It’s our last day together, which Hailee gave me permission to take the day off of work for. So, we decided to walk around Las Vegas and be silly tourists together.

The whole day was amazing and it couldn’t have been more perfect. As the hours ticked closer to the time that he’d have to leave, I could feel myself dragging my feet. At the hotel, I watched as he rounded up all of his stuff that was intermingled with mine.

“Do you have to go right now?” I whine like a child.

He chuckles as he walks over and pulls me off the bed into one of his amazing hugs. “Sorry, babe. But, yes. If we want the movie to premiere next year, we gotta finish it by Christmas,” he mumbles into my hair.

“I know. I know. But, I’ll see you in LA for my birthday right?” I say as I nuzzle my head further into his chest and smell his intoxicating cologne.

He pulls away and retrieves something from his bag as he replies, “Actually...I wanted to give you your present early. That way you can wear it on the occasion.” He smiles that goofy lopsided smile that makes me melt.

My eyes widen as he holds out a velvet rectangular box. As my fingers click the lid open, my mouth parts in awe. “Nick...it’s beautiful...” I whisper.

The inside of the box displays a dainty silver chain that is home to a small ruby heart. “Please tell me this wasn’t expensive...” I warn him.

“Well, I can’t lie to you so I won’t say anything...” he teases. I playfully push at his chest before my awed expression dulls. “What’s wrong?” He says, the small smile never leaving his features.

I try to find the words, but I can’t. Or I can. I just don’t want to. I look at my feet in guilt as my fingers do what they always do when I’m nervous. They trace the letters on my necklace that hasn’t left my neck for any longer than a shower.

“Oh,” I can hear the slight disappointment in his voice. “It’s a good thing I kept the receipt...” he tries to joke.

I look up at him with eyes glistening. “I’m so sorry, Nick...” I begin but he shakes he shrugs his shoulder as he waves his hand dismissively.

“It’s fine, y/n. It really is,” he tries to downplay the hurt in his voice.

Grabbing his hand, I squeeze it and his puppy dog eyes meet mine. “It’s not fine. I tried to let go...I really did. You make me so so happy, but-“

“But, you don’t love me. You love him,” he finishes.

I nod as a tear escapes and leaves a warm trail down my cheek. “I really wanted to be with you...because you are the most amazing guy I’ve ever known...there’s just...something about being with Shawn that’s...different,” I explain with a wavering voice. “And I wish I didn’t...” I shake my head as more tears flow, “but, I love him. And I never stopped.”

Guilt and shame wash over me. I should’ve never agreed to use him. He deserves more than that. I let my gaze fall to the floor as I cry. I expect him to just walk out the door. But, he doesn’t. Instead, he wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head soothingly.

“I knew when we started this that there was a possibility you’d go back to him. I don’t blame you for anything,” he assures me. “But, I’m glad I got to be with you for the time that I did. I don’t regret it and neither should you.”

I look up at him as I sniffle. How can he be so gracious about this? Before I can say anything else, he delicately places his lips on mine. They linger, just barely pressing against mine as I feel the warmth from him. As he parts from me, my breath staggers just a moment. Then, he places an even longer kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes and try to contain my sadness, replacing it with all the happiness I had because of him.

His lips leave my skin and I keep my eyes closed as I hear him gather his things. My breathing picks up in a jagged pace and soon I hear the door close. I clamp my hand over my mouth as I open my eyes and find him gone. It was the right thing to do. That’s what I keep telling myself as I make my way back to the tour bus.

As soon as I enter, Hailee takes notice of my state. “Aw honey. It’s okay...you’ll see him in October...” she soothes as she hugs me.

“No,” I shake my head as I wipe at my eyes. “We broke up...”

She audibly gasps as she looks at me with worried eyes. “Why?? You guys were so happy!”

I flop down on the bed and hug a pillow. “Because I’m still in love with Shawn, and it’s wrong to keep using Nick like that,” I confess.

“Bu...” She silences herself as her brows knit together. “I have to go make a call real quick...will you be okay for like five minutes?”

I nod silently and she leaves. I’m so lost in my own despair that my brain didn’t register her strange behavior. In the following months, I still didn’t pick up on all her sketchy mannerisms. Making secret phone calls, not letting me answer her phone anymore...October rolled around and it got even worse.

We were trying to prepare for her LA show and she just kept being more and more secretive. Disappearing and acting jumpy. I chalked it up to the fact that my birthday coincided with her show and maybe she was planning a surprise for it. Someone should have told her that I usually hate them.

It’s the day of the LA show (also my 23rd birthday) and I’m running around making sure all of the photographers and camera crew have their assignments. This show is an important one because it’s the last one of the tour, so the show is going to be next level amazing.

Hailee bumps into me as I round a corner. “Oh! Hey, I was just looking for you!” She exclaims. I barely look up from my clipboard as I hum in acknowledgment. She snatches it from my grasp.

“Hey! I was just finishing that list for the show!”

She gives me a knowing smirk. “Delegation is a thing that’s allowed, ya know,” she informs me. I open my mouth to counter but she continues. “And before you argue, that’s not a request. Let someone else finish the list while you get changed and relax a little,” she demands politely.

“Why would I need to change?” I quirk my eyebrows in suspicion.

She looks up innocently. “No reason...just put on something nice! Now, hurry!!”

Groaning, I turn around and walk to the dressing room to do as she says. I find a black satin dress with a light purple flower print on it. The thin straps create an apron neckline and it’s backless, while the hem goes to my mid-thigh. I match it with a pair of black heels that have straps that criss-cross around my calves.

I do simple makeup and my hair is still wavy from earlier today when I curled it. Annoyed, I walk back out to the side of the stage where Hailee has begun her introduction. I try to grab the clipboard from someone but they tell me Hailee said I’m not allowed to have it.

I cross my arms as I watch her pump up the crowd. “I’m glad y’all are having a great time!! Before we get started...” I hear her say and my attention snaps toward the stage. She looks at me and I shake my head vigorously. “It’s someone’s birthday!! Let’s all welcome her out onto the stage for her surprise!”

With no other choice because of how loud the crowd has gotten, I stride over to Hailee. “This better not be anything extravagant,” I warn under my breath before smiling and waving to the crowd.

“So some of us, her friends, have put together a birthday video for you! You’re gonna sit here and watch the screen and we have a special guest coming in to perform a couple of songs to open for my show!” She cheers.

I roll my eyes and press two fingers to my temple. She holds the mic in front of me and I take it. “Well, then. Let’s get started! We’re on a tight schedule,” I chuckle.

“Roll the clip!” She shouts as she takes the mic away from me and stands offstage. Someone brings out a chair for me to sit on to watch the screen that comes down at the back of the stage.

Everyone goes quiet in anticipation as the lights dim so the screen can be seen more clearly. I twiddle my thumbs in an anxious manner as the screen finally lights up. A smile comes to my lips as a picture of me as a newborn in the hospital comes up. In the background, I can hear someone playing a very slow rendition of Happy Birthday on the piano.

The picture glides away and is replaced with a collage of baby photos and home videos that keep progressing in age. I giggle at some silly ones and my eyes start to water from nostalgia. The song begins coming to an end as the pictures shift into me at age 20. I clap and stand up as I think the video is over because the song is. But, Hailee points at the seat as an indication that it’s not.

My brows knit together as a guitar starts playing while the video leads up to me turning 21. The song sounds extremely familiar but I can’t place it. Not to mention it sounds way clearer than if it were on the screen. After about 25 seconds of strumming, a voice begins to accompany the guitar and the screen displays pictures and clips from my 21st birthday on. Starting with the Insta vid that Shawn took of me that morning.

Oh my god. My worried eyes flash to Hailee and I can see her holding her clasped hands in front of her lips in anticipation. I knew that I knew the song. Of course, it was one of Shawn’s. It was hard to place because it’s never been on an album. He only plays it live: She’ll Be the One. My heart is having trouble beating as I watch the screen.

All the photos and videos from the karaoke bar, the selfies we took later that night...the ones from the diner and so on. The lyrics of the song get to, “But, how can I not try...” and my muffled ears hear the crowd go nuts. I turn to the other side of the stage. Oh my god.

Shawn slowly walks out, playing the guitar and singing into a mic hooked around his ear. Immediately, my breathing flutters irregularly and my skin shivers. I turn back to the screen, trying to find a normal breathing rate, but he walks until he’s right next to me and gets on his knees in front of me. The crowd is going wild as he continues the song but I focus my stare on the video.

It was getting into pictures that he took of me, ones I usually didn’t notice. At the Grammys...his album release party...the summer festivals...and all the snaps in between that he saved. I clench my jaw and press my lips in a hard line in an attempt to not react, but he’s right in front of me.

This isn’t what I was expecting. Yeah, I’m still in love with him. But, who the hell is he to come out here and make a public spectacle of his apology? I’m not ready for this. I can’t even react right now. The drums and electric guitar kick in and I get the same quake in my heart that I always do when I hear it. He stands up and moves to a mic stand as the song ends. Oh, but he’s not finished yet.

I send a hard glare toward Hailee, but she doesn’t seem to mind. He begins playing an electric guitar and I have to fight the smirk that wants to appear. I shake my head and pointedly look at the screen because I can feel his eyes watching me as he begins singing. This fucker thinks he’s clever. What song did he pick to win me back? Ruin.

It fits perfectly with the video as it goes into all of our secret coupley photos and videos...and then behind the scenes footage of the music vids...the weekend of the Grammys when I was sick...our week in Toronto with his family. The middle of the song hits and it’s accompanied by a silent clip of the interview that made me leave. I hear the slight waver in his voice as my time with Nick comes onscreen.

I venture a small glance in his direction. Sure enough, his eyes have never left me. I feel the hard lump forming in my throat and it’s as if I’m reliving losing him all over again. I’m not the only one. His eyes are shining as the light hits the tears in them. The bridge begins and the crowd is chanting the lyrics with him. It’s a haunting experience.

As I continue watching him instead of the screen, I see the seriousness and passion in his eyes. The veins in his neck and arms protrude as he literally sings his heart out to me. I slowly stand up and take a few small steps toward him as the song winds down. His eyebrows furrow curiously at me and I swallow as I take a steadying breath.

“Not tryna ruin your happiness at all...” he beautifully sings the last lyric and the venue goes deadly silent. He hands the guitar to someone and takes the mic off the stand, making his way to stand a foot away from me.

My lip trembles as I breathe unsteadily. I can feel my eyes glossing with warm tears that want to drip. He slowly brings the mic to his lips as he holds my gaze. His breath is heavy from singing and he swallows dryly. Just when I thought he couldn’t surprise me more...

“I’m done hiding you from the world. I am completely and stupidly in love with you, y/n y/l/n. Please, take me back...” he begs. His deep brown eyes search mine intensely. I haven’t seen them up close in so long.

My mouth falls open as I choke on the breath I was holding. The entire venue loses their minds. I can’t believe he just confessed his love for me in front of everyone here. This will definitely end up on YouTube, so probably the entire world will see it.

I stutter as I try to respond with something. Anything. But, I feel the speed of my breathing accelerate while my heart pounds furiously. I don’t know what else to do, so I turn around and run. Running certainly isn’t going to help my breathing but it’ll help me get away from that situation.

I can hear Hailee awkwardly take over the stage and begin her set. I’m not even sure where I’m running to. At some point, I shed my shoes and grab my purse as I call an Uber quickly. It arrives as soon as I’m out on the street and I slide in, slamming the door quickly.

Everything is just too much, so I tell the driver to take me to the one place where I know my mind can slow down.

Third P.O.V.

Shawn hurries after her offstage, but she’s quicker than he thought she could be in heels. He finally finds them discarded in the dressing room and her purse is gone. His hand grips the roots of his chocolate curls worriedly. It’s late and she shouldn’t be out on the streets by herself.

He can’t do anything but think about the look on her face when she saw him. Surprise mostly. A little bit of pain. But, the rest was confusion. He knows he has a lot to explain and apologize for. Maybe he should’ve thought through the public romantic gesture a little more, but his heart was in the right place.

Hours go by as he looks for her everywhere he can think of. The entire night has past and he’s exhausted. Not from the lack of sleep, but the lack of not knowing if she’s okay. She’s not from here, so there’re only so many places she can go...and then it dawns on him.

It doesn’t take long for him to get an Uber to the last resort guess at where she would be. As he gets out and makes his way down toward the waves, he releases a breath. The small silhouette of her hugging her knees to her chest is illuminated by the tip of light from the rising sun.

Shawn takes off his shoes and slowly walks toward her, feeling the sand in between his toes. Before he reaches her, she stands up and stretches her arms out by her sides. Her fingers dance through the wind as she tilts her head back and soaks in her surroundings. He can’t help but take a picture.

He speaks softly as he approaches her, “I’m glad this part of you hasn’t changed.”

“I knew you’d find me,” she states simply as she lowers her arms and sneaks a glance at him.

He comes to a stop facing her at a respectful distance. “Is that so?” She nods, a tiny glimmer of a smile on the corner of her lip. “I can leave you alone if you’d like,” he offers.

“I think I’ve been alone enough already,” she sighs as she turns and looks up at him. He admires the way the rising sun shimmers off her skin. She admires the way the shadows of the previous night outline his statuesque features.

They stand like that a moment, gauging each other. And then Shawn breaks the silence, “I’m sorry. For everything. For the interview...for not coming after you immediately...for putting you on the spot like that...especially when I know you’re with Nick and I don’t want to be a bad-“

“I’m not,” she corrects him.

He stares at her with a quizzical look. “Not what?”

She releases a puff of air from her nose in a silent scoff. “I’m not with Nick. We broke up in August,” she informs him.

“You...I mean...why?” He stammers.

She closes the distance a bit before replying, “Why do you think?” She asks rhetorically. Shawn dares to let his features light up the tiniest bit. “You’re really gonna make me say it?”

“Mhm,” he hums as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. He gazes intently into her eyes. There’s so much she can see in them. The hope, the adoration, the love, but also a tiny bit of fear. Like if he didn’t make her say it then she would slip through his fingers again.

She notices how his eyes try their hardest to not look at her lips, but she has no qualms about her gaze flicking to his as she licks hers. “Shawn Mendes,” she begins teasingly, “I am in love wi-“

That’s all she can manage to say before Shawn is grabbing her by the small of her back with one hand and pulling her flush against him as his other hand finds its home just past her jaw and under her ear. His lips connect with hers and she’d expected it to be fervent after so long apart but it wasn’t.

It was the opposite. It was tender and slow. Almost as if he pressed too much that her delicate lips would shatter beneath him. It filled her up with warmth nonetheless. The kind of warmth that spread to her toes on that chilly October morning with the wind nipping their noses.

But neither of them moved. Her hands had reacquainted themselves with his neck and the roots of his hair easily. He didn’t want to break her, but she had been hollow these past few months. While he tried, Nick couldn’t fill the hole that was meant for Shawn’s touch. And now that she finally has the smallest taste of him, it isn’t enough.

She pulls him against her further, as if it were possible. And each tug of his curls tightens his grip on her skin. She deepens the kiss by swiping her tongue along his delicious lips and he eagerly responds. Soft moans and slight giggles escape their mouths and dance in the air between them as they continue to act as if they’re the only ones in the world.

And so they stood like that, drinking each other in after months of being in the desert while the sun finally rose over the horizon.

Tag List: @imagine-that-100 @hufflepuffshawn @luke2k18 @thewhinersoldier

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cheeseeatingtrashmonster · 6 years

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Misspoke

LadyNoir July day 8: Hand kiss/Public relations. Thanks @lovesquare-squad for organizing this :)

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"I hate press conferences," Chat said, fidgeting with his belt.

"Aw, I think you were made to be in front of a camera, Kitty," Ladybug said, leaning over to whisper in his cat ear. "You seem the photogenic type."

Marinette's discovery was still rolling around her brain. She couldn't bring herself to act any differently when Chat Noir stood in front of her. He was still her goofy partner. She felt self-conscious, and that put her on autopilot. And autopilot with Chat Noir, she was finding, was a little bit flirtier than she originally thought. But it was Still Not The Time To Freak Out, so flirty would just have to do.

"Not as much as you, Bugaboo," Chat said, falling into that point on the continuum between "sappy" and "lustful" that belonged solely to Chat Noir. And, apparently, Adrien. Marinette had had a headache for the past three days of trying to figure this out.

"Well, let's get this nonsense over with," Ladybug said, stretching like she was getting ready for a fight.

/*****/

The press conference went well. Or so the heroes thought. Right up until Alya burst into Marinette's room where she and Adrien were working on the night's math homework two hours later.

"Did you see?" Alya screeched.

"Hi, Alya," Adrien said like this was normal behavior he was witnessing.

"Turn on your computer!" Alya said, almost shoving Adrien out of his chair to reach the keyboard.

"Alya, we're studying-"

"Marinette, this is the biggest development in the LadyNoir story since-"

"I asked you not to call them that," Marinette said. "They're people, and-"

"Marinette, watch this!"

Alya pulled up a clip of the press conference from the Ladyblog. It was a clip of Adrien- Chat! Chat answering a question and kissing Ladybug's hand like the lovesick dork he was.

"Of course, we discovered this on one of our rooftop dates," Chat said. Hand kiss, wink. Nothing out of the ordinary?

"What am I looking at, Alya?" Marinette asked. "They act like that all the time."

"Are you kidding me?" Alya said. She replayed the clip.

"-one of our rooftop dates."

"What's so-"

"You think they're dating," Adrien said. His eyes were unnaturally wide.

"Think? He just said they go on dates! On rooftops! Superhero rooftop dates! It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard!"

Alya continued to rant for a minute while Adrien and Marinette got lost in their thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Marinette," Adrien said the second Alya stopped for breath. He was already gathering up his bags. "I just remembered I need to be home. I'll get to school early and help you with the rest of this problem set if you don't finish it on your own, okay?"

Her Kitty was freaking out.

Marinette and Alya bid Adrien goodbye, then Marinette found an excuse to get Alya to leave as well.

"Well, I guess I should go check on him," Marinette said to Tikki.

"You need to be careful about this, Marinette," Tikki said. "I'm still worried about what you knowing his identity will do to your relationship."

"So you've changed your mind? I should tell him that I know?" Marinette asked.

"I still think you should talk to Master Fu," Tikki said.

"But you said he might take away our miraculouses and give them to someone else!" Marinette said. "I'll keep it a secret from Chat if we get to stay Ladybug and Chat Noir."

Tikki sighed. They had been having this fight on and off for three days.

"Let's just go check on him," Tikki said. "You two have a new problem to deal with."

"The original problem was more than enough. I don't even know how I feel about him any more!" Marinette said. "And now everyone thinks we're dating?"

/*****/

"My Lady!"

"Hey, Chat."

"Have you seen the news? I'm sorry, I didn't even think!"

"It's okay, Chat!" Ladybug put a hand on his shoulder, hoping he would lose the manic, scared look in his eye. "We both call patrol 'rooftop dates'. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I did. I knew how that sounded when we first started using it, I just... forgot. I'm so sorry."

Instinct guiding her again, Ladybug pulled her partner into her arms. He hugged her back immediately, and she almost broke and told him she knew. But then he might figure out how she knew. He might figure out who she was. And then the risk was doubled.

"It's fine," she said, pulling away. "We'll call another press conference or give an exclusive interview and set everyone straight. In fact, let's go see if the mayor is free now. He can pull together another quick press conference and this will all be fixed."

"I don't want anyone thinking we're dating unless and until it's true," Chat- Adrien? said. His stare was just a little too intense, lasted a little too long.

"Don't worry, Kitty." She gave his fingers a squeeze and they set off for the mayor's office.

/*****/

"Absolutely not!"

"Um... You don't really get a say in if it's true or not that we're dating," Chat pointed out.

The mayor crossed his arms. "You just said you were earlier today. The whole city is talking about it! Everyone is excited for you!"

"But we aren't dating," Ladybug said.

"But you said you were!"

"Mr. Bourgeois," Ladybug said. "It was just a figure of speech. A shorthand we use. 'Rooftop date' means 'patrol' to us."

"But you can't break up!"

"We technically can't-"

Andre Bourgeois cut Chat Noir off. "If you break up, think of the people! Everyone will be upset! Akumas everywhere! Terrible for business. And tourism!"

"Mr. Bourgeois-"

"He's right," Ladybug said, cutting Chat off again. "I hate to admit it, but he's right."

"But... we aren't."

"Thank you, Mr. Mayor," Ladybug said, dragging Chat by the arm out of the window through which they had arrived.

On the roof of the building, Chat started pacing. "What do we do? We're not dating, but now everyone will be upset if they find that out. How do we convince everyone that it's okay and they shouldn't be upset enough to be akumatized over us?"

"I don't think we can, Kitty," she said.

"Then what do we do? I know you're interested in someone else, I don't want you to date me if your heart's not in it."

"Well... what do you think about putting on a show?"

#loveladynoir #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #ladybug #ladynoir #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #andre bourgeois #my writing #events #patrol is better with you

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three-drink-amy · 7 years

Text

Like You Made Me Feel When We Were 18

Amy and Jake were the perfect couple all through high school until suddenly, they broke up. Twelve years later, they’re running into each other for the first time, realizing how much they’ve changed and maybe finding things that haven’t changed at all.

Warning: It is 20k! Brevity is not my strong suit.

Amy got to the apartment later than she'd planned. She'd originally planned to be a little bit late because Kylie told her she didn't want her help setting up. But she hadn't accounted for traffic and now she was way later than her already planned late arrival. Having just moved back to New York, Amy was still getting used to it again. So by the time Amy arrived, the party was in full swing.

Amy was welcomed by a wall of sound made up of music, yelling, laughter, and cheers. Thankfully, Kylie was near the door when Amy entered. “Amy!” she yelled. “You made it!”

“Yeah, sorry I’m late!” Amy replied. “Still not used to New York traffic.”

“Doesn't matter. You're here!” Kylie screamed over the noise. She turned when she heard her name being called. “Oh, it's my turn for beer pong!” She explained. “Food’s over there and beer is in the fridge!” she yelled as she ran to go take her turn. Amy shook her head, laughing at her friend as she headed off to the kitchen to grab a beer.

Amy opened the fridge and found a shocking amount of beer stashed there. She was bent down to grab herself one when she heard someone talking to her. “Mind grabbing another one while you're in there?” Amy grabbed a second and stood up to hand it to the other party-goer. Amy’s heart all but stopped when she turned to look at the person standing in front of her. She hadn't seen him in 12 years. It somehow felt like a century and yet no time at all. “Jake?” She asked, noting that he looked as shocked as she felt.

“Amy?” He replied, dumbfounded. “What are you doing here?”

“Kylie is my best friend. She insisted I had to come since I just moved back here,” Amy answered, standing at a distance. “Why are you here?”

“She's my partner,” he explained, gesturing to the room. Amy looked around, noting the amount of cops that were likely in the room.

They stood in silence. The tense, awkward silence that comes from seeing the person you loved at 18 for the first time in over a decade. Amy had imagined a lot of different ways that she and Jake would meet again, but at one of Kylie’s crazy parties was never one of the ideas. Amy couldn't help but stare at Jake, noting the way he’d changed in 12 years. He seemed taller somehow. His cheeks had hollowed some, his jawline was more defined. He certainly had a more mature look to him that only age could provide. He looked good. Even more handsome than the boy Amy had fallen for all those years ago.

Jake cleared his throat. “So, uh, you said you moved back recently? Have you been living in Rhode Island all this time?”

Amy opened her beer to give her something to do. “No,” she answered as she worked on the lid. “I moved back here after I left Brown, but my mom got sick a few years back and so I moved to Pennsylvania.”

Jake furrowed his brow. “What, to get away from her being sick?”

Amy shook her head. “Oh no, my parents moved there while I was in college. So I moved there to take care of her because my dad needed to be working.”

Jake nodded in understanding. Suddenly a sad look crossed his face. “Oh, and you just moved back. I’m so sorry, Amy.”

Amy was confused for a moment. “She didn't die!” She explained quickly. “She recovered and is healthy again. She’s doing well. But my parents could tell I didn't like living there so they pushed me to move back here.”

“Ah,” Jake replied. “Well good. I’m glad she’s doing well. I always liked your mom,” Jake added with a smile.

Amy returned the smile. “Yeah.” She paused as she thought back to old times. “Well, you didn't like her so much there at the end.” Jake’s expression became tense and somehow even more guarded than it had before. Amy cleared her throat. “That was a weird thing to say. I apologize. It's just so weird seeing you again. You know?”

Jake nodded his head, taking a quick drink of his beer. “Yeah, I do know.”

Amy wanted to get away from awkward topics. “So you became a cop! Just like you always wanted!”

Jake noticeably perked up. “Yeah! It's awesome!”

“Is it everything you dreamed it would be?”

Jake stared at Amy for a beat longer than normal. “Yeah, I got everything I wanted. It's great.” He played with the label on his beer bottle. “What about you? What do you do?”

“I teach history,” Amy informed him. She knew didn't exactly come across as exuberant about it.

“Yeah? And how is that?”

Amy shrugged. “It's good I guess. I mean I like my job, but I am still getting used to the new location. I teach at this super preppy private school in Manhattan. It's awful. Everyone is so entitled.”

Jake chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds awful. You should have applied at our old school.”

Amy burst out laughing. “I actually did. They turned me away. Wouldn't even give me an interview.”

Jake gaped at her. “What? Precious Amy Santiago?”

Amy rolled her eyes at him. “Well Holt isn't there anymore and the new person didn't get how beloved I was at that school.” Jake smirked as he took a drink from his beer. “You’ll never guess who the new principal is.” Jake quirked an eyebrow. “They hired from the alumni. Keith Pembroke is now the principal.”

Jake looked aghast. “No way! They hired that jerk?”

Amy nodded, happily noting that she and Jake seemed to have fallen into a comfortable rhythm. “Yeah, the secretary happily walked my portfolio back to the principal and he walked out of his office, took one look at me, another look at the name on my resume to be sure, and told me I could get the hell out.” Jake gaped at her. “Honestly, I was ready to leave from the moment he walked out of the principal’s office anyway.”

Jake shook his head as he laughed at her story. Kylie was finally finished with her beer pong game and walked over to talk to Amy. “Hey, having fun? I just killed at beer pong!” Amy shook her head humoredly at her friend. “Oh Amy, this is my partner, Jake,” Kylie said, needlessly introducing them.

Jake smirked. “Yeah, we’ve met,” Amy said with a laugh.”

Kylie looked between them. “Wait. Do you two know each other? When did you meet?”

“In Miss Murphy’s sixth grade homeroom,” Jake answered.

Kylie looked between them in shock. “You two went to school together?”

“Middle school through high school,” Amy confirmed.

Kylie looked over at Jake with a weird look in her eye. She looked as though she was thinking hard about something. Suddenly, her gaze turned to Amy. “Wait a minute. Is he Jake?”

Jake looked confused. “How much have you had to drink, Kylie? Yes, I’m your partner Jake.”

Amy knew what Kylie was saying though. Hours upon hours of her college days where Amy cried over Jake came flashing back to her. She started to shake her head discreetly, but she was almost certain that in Kylie’s current state, she wouldn't catch on.

“No, I mean is he Jake, Jake? Like your high school boyfriend that you cried about for --”

“Kylie!” Amy stopped her. “Yes, we dated in high school.”

Kylie burst out laughing. “What are the odds that your high school boyfriend became my partner on the force?”

Amy grimaced, hoping she was passing it off as a smile. “Yeah, I’ve been mentally doing the math on that one.”

“Oh that is fantastic,” Kylie mused. “What a small world.”

“That's one way of putting it,” Jake said tensely.

Blessedly, someone called Kylie over to play more beer pong. She gave Amy a wink and ran out of the kitchen. Amy rolled her eyes as she watched her friend leave. This was already awkward enough without drunk Kylie. Amy cleared her throat pointedly. “So do you still talk to anyone from school?” Amy asked.

Jake nodded, taking another drink of his beer. “Yeah, I see Charles pretty regularly. He's a food critic for a small magazine here. It's hilarious. I actually got Gina a job at the precinct so I see her literally everyday. Talk to Rosa occasionally and when she’s in town, she’ll make a point of seeing us. What about you?”

Amy stared at Jake, certain that her hurt was displayed on her face. “I don't talk to anyone. I guess you got our friend group in the breakup. None of them have talked to me since the afternoon before we broke up.”

Jake made an awkward face. “I mean I don't talk to them that much. I barely even know them anymore,” he lied.

Amy shot him a small smile. “Jake, it's fine. I don't care. Let's be real, you were never gonna shake Charles.” Jake laughed heartily, reminding Amy of late nights spent together laughing over everything and nothing. Without even meaning to, they spent the rest of Kylie’s party going back and forth between catching up and laughing over high school memories.

Amy sat nervously in her desk, hating her parents for sending her to a new school for the start of sixth grade. She fidgeted with her pencils, lined up neatly on her desk. Just then the boy next to her reached over and gracelessly messed up her pencils. Amy felt affronted, ready to tell this boy off. She was mad that homeroom hadn't even officially begun and she already had an enemy.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, leaning over in his desk to straighten her pencils for her. “I was trying to get your attention and I slipped and hit your pencils,” he explained.

Amy stared at him curiously. “Why were you trying to get my attention?”

“You're new here, aren't you?” the boy asked.

“Is it that obvious?” Amy asked shyly.

He shook his head. “No, just that I recognize almost everyone else from fifth grade. But not you. What's your name?”

Amy sat a little straighter in her seat. “I’m Amy Santiago.”

He nodded. “Noice. I'm Jake Peralta.” Amy nodded back at him. Miss Murphy called the class to attention and Amy didn't talk to Jake again till lunch.

She walked around nervously with her tray, wondering where she should sit on her first day at a new school. Amy was walking past a table where three people were sitting. She hadn't even noticed Jake sitting there until he called her name.

“Amy Santiago!” He called. Amy looked over at him with a start. “Sit with us,” he said kindly. Amy looked over at his friends. One was a small boy with dark brown hair and a kind smile. The other was a girl with perfect makeup and a critical expression. Amy hated that she felt intimidated by her. Jake stared at Amy, allowing her time to decide. Amy looked over to the other tables. So far, Jake was really the only person who’d reached out to her. Amy smiled and nodded, setting her tray down at their table as she introduced herself to Jake’s friends.

“Seriously?” Amy asked incredulously. “You got called into work on a Sunday?” Kylie groaned into the phone. Amy grimaced. She hadn't had too much to drink the night before but she knew Kylie had to be incredibly hungover.

“Look, can you help me out or not?” Kylie whimpered.

Amy chuckled. “Yes. I’ll bring you medicine.”

“Ahh thank you,” Kylie said with a groan. “I love my job but I hate it so much. There is no way I can think critically right now and track down some killer.”

“Just do your best,” Amy encouraged.

Amy regretfully changed out of her sweats and headed to the 99th precinct. She arrived at the station and headed toward the closing elevator. “Hold the door!” she yelled, hoping someone would hear her. A hand flung out of the elevator, stopping the doors from closing. Amy sped up to get in the elevator, and then stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the person holding the elevator.

“Oh my God. Amy Santiago?”

Amy smiled. “Charles Boyle!” Charles reached out and hugged Amy tightly. “Wow, Charles it’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m great!” Charles cried. “Ugh, it's so good to see you. What brings you here?”

“My friend needs some medicine because she’s ridiculously hungover,” Amy explained. “So I’m here to be Kylie’s savior.”

Charles gasped. “Kylie? Oh Amy, I feel like I should warn you. Jake actually works here. That's why I’m here. Isn’t it gonna be uncomfortable?”

Amy smiled kindly at Charles. “That’s okay. I know Jake works here. I actually saw him last night.”

“You did?” Charles asked. “I wonder why he didn't tell me about that.”

Amy shook her head humoredly at Charles. “Maybe because they all got called in today,” Amy mused.

Charles looked at Amy skeptically. “Sure, let's say it's that.”

The elevator dinged at the fourth floor and the doors opened, revealing a number of detectives sitting at their desks. Kylie was somehow the only one not at her desk. Amy walked over to the desk with Kylie’s name on it. She looked over to see Jake sitting at the desk directly across from Kylie’s. He looked up as he saw Amy approach.

“Amy. What brings you by?”

She held up a bottle of medicine with a knowing look. Jake laughed. “Yeah, she seemed a little off today.” He pointed toward the hall. “She’s down the hall in an observation room because it was dark and quiet.”

Amy rolled her eyes. “How is she even functioning today?”

“An excellent question,” Jake laughed.

Amy smirked, before looking just past Jake to where Charles was standing with a look of awe on his face. Jake saw Amy’s gaze and turned to see Boyle standing there, holding the bag of food he’d brought for Jake with the same dopey look Amy had noticed. “Charles?”

Charles shook his head, shaking himself out of his reverie. “Sorry, it's just like old times,” he explained. Jake visibly tensed. Amy started to feel uncomfortable.

“Well I’m going to go find Kylie,” Amy said, turning to leave.

“Amy, it was just so great to see you again,” Charles yelled her way. Amy turned back and smiled and nodded. She walked out of earshot of Charles freaking out to Jake.

Amy found Kylie in a dark room with her eyes covered and a bag of ice on her head. Amy stifled a laugh as she approached her friend. “Hey,” she whispered.

“Amy, please don’t yell,” Kylie pled. Amy nodded though she knew Kylie couldn’t see her.

“Did we maybe party just a bit too hard?” Amy asked, hoping all judgment was out of her tone.

Kylie pulled down the cloth covering her eyes so she could properly glare at Amy. “Rude.” She covered her eyes again. “I wasn’t supposed to work today. But things happen.”

Amy sat the bottle of medicine down next to Kylie, backing away from her slowly. “Well, there’s your medicine. I’m gonna head out.”

“Oh, are you hurrying to go see my partner?” Kylie asked. Amy couldn’t even see her full face, but she knew what expression Kylie was wearing.

“Ha, ha,” Amy deadpanned. “You aren’t as funny as you think you are. So I dated him 12 years ago. Whatever.”

“And then cried about him off and on for the first four that I knew you,” Kylie reminded her.

“It wasn’t a full four years,” Amy defended. “I dated in college.”

Kylie sat up, clearly feeling well enough for a spirited debate. “Don’t say you dated. You went on a couple dates here and there. All with different guys. No one ever made it past two or three dates.”

“Don’t you think that says more about the guys than me?” Amy asked.

“No, I think it means that you were still hung up on the last real boyfriend you’d had. The one that things ended badly with,” Kylie explained. “That’s why it was senior year and you were having a grade A freak out and said that you wondered what would have happened if you and Jake hadn’t broken up.”

“Okay, fine,” Amy conceded. “Maybe senior year, I still wondered what if, but it’s been 12 years Kylie. Don’t you think if I was still hung up on Jake I would have done something about it by now?”

Kylie looked at her knowingly. “Unless you were too scared that he’d turn you down.”

Amy rolled her eyes. “I came here to be nice, not to be interrogated, Detective. I’m going to go back home and get into my pajamas because I can.” Kylie glared at her as Amy turned and walked out.

Amy walked back down the hall towards the bullpen, wanting to get out of the precinct and back into her cozy apartment as fast as she could. She knew, though, that if Charles was still in the building, her arrival back home would likely be delayed.

“Gina, see?” she heard Charles exclaim as she walked in sight. Amy looked over and spotted Gina sitting at a desk located behind Jake and Kylie’s desk clump.

“Gina?” Amy asked, walking toward her. “Wow, it’s so good to see you.”

“I know it is,” Gina replied without looking up from her phone. She said nothing else to Amy. Amy looked over at Charles and Jake with a confused expression. Jake just shook his head and Charles looked disappointed in Gina.

“Come on, Gina,” he said, walking toward Amy. “It’s Amy! We haven’t seen her in over a decade.”

“Then it’s been a good decade, I guess,” Gina answered, still not looking up at them. Amy rolled her eyes. In school, Gina had always been the one to go against her. She got along well with everyone else and so did Amy. But for some reason, the two of them never clicked. They’d gotten along on a surface level for the sake of their friend group, but hardly ever was time spent just the two of them. Amy didn’t know why she expected it to be any different 12 years later.

“Gina,” Jake scolded.

“No, it’s fine,” Amy replied, waving Jake and Charles off.

“I just always knew that one day she’d come crawling back,” Gina said, finally looking up at her phone. She fixed Amy with the most disapproving glare. Amy matched it. For the first time in her life, Amy actually didn’t care what Gina thought. And it was a freeing feeling.

“Well, Charles,” Amy said, pointedly ignoring Gina, “It was so great to see you again. Maybe we can catch up soon?” Charles nodded emphatically. Amy smiled at him. Amy walked toward the elevator. “Jake, it was great to see you again too.” Jake waved to her as she walked by, returning an awkward smile.

As the elevator doors closed on Amy, she relished the idea of spending the rest of the day alone.

By the time that high school began, Rosa had joined the group and they were a very tight-knit clan. The summer before school started, the five of them spent plenty of nights hanging out, often musing about what high school would really be like. Jake hoped that he would be considered a cool kid there too. Gina just knew that she would be. Charles hoped that the food in the lunchroom would improve. Amy hoped that the classes would really challenge her. And Rosa just hoped no one really talked to her too much.

The last weekend before school was to start, the five of them had gathered for their last summer hangout. Slowly, the group disbanded. Amy and Jake were the last two there, sitting in the park, looking up at the stars.

Jake looked over at Amy, wondering if he should voice his thoughts. He looked back up at the sky, staring at the stars shining down on them. For such a simple activity, looking at the stars always brought Jake pleasure. The sky made him feel like the universe was so big and his problems were so small. Finally, he cleared his throat and let his vulnerability show.

“Amy,” he asked softly. She turned over and looked at him. Even in just the moonlight, she was still the prettiest girl he’d ever met in person. “Are you scared to start high school?”

Amy frowned at his question. “No. Do you think I should be?”

Jake shook his head quickly. “No, not at all. I was just curious.” He turned back to look at the sky again. He’d been stupid to bring it up.

“Jake,” Amy asked in the same soft voice Jake had used. He looked back at her. “Are you scared of starting school?”

“No,” He insisted. After a pause, he said, “No?” It was more of a question. “I don’t know. Maybe I am. It’s just so much change. You know, we’re gonna start driving and then we’re going to go to college and then we’ll be adults and have to know what we want to do with our lives.”

Amy chuckled softly. “Okay, things are going to change, but there’ll be some good changes too. I mean for your first point, we live in New York. We’re not really going to start driving soon.” Jake laughed, accepting her argument. “And yeah the idea of college seems scary but I have two brothers there right now and they think it’s the best.” Jake nodded, looking at her. “And I don’t know why you’re worried about becoming an adult because you already know what you want to do! You want to be a cop!” Amy reminded him.

Jake smiled at her memory. “Yeah, we’re gonna be cops together.”

Amy nodded with a laugh. “Definitely. We’ll be the best cops in all of New York City.” She reached out and touched Jake’s hand where it sat between them. “Look, I know moving on to the next stage is scary. I mean I’m worried about it. What if I was only smart for middle school but not for high school?” Jake flashed her a disapproving look. “Okay, okay,” she said, waving him off. “But the point is, we’ll all be there together, right? So it’s not going to be as scary because we’ll have all of our friends going through it with us. It seems a lot better than splitting off and going to different schools.”

Jake nodded thoughtfully. “That’s a good point. I can’t imagine going through this without you guys.”

Amy smiled and nodded. “We’re always going to be here, Jake,” Amy promised. “Especially me.”

By the time Kylie’s shift was ending, Amy was still fuming from her day at work. She called Kylie the moment she knew she’d be off work. Her friend was always the best person to vent to. It only rang once before Kylie picked up.

“Hey! What's up?”

“You’re a cop,” Amy started, still angrily pacing around her apartment. “I need you to tell me the consequences for murder!”

“Wow, rough day?” Kylie asked in a joking manner.

Amy groaned. “You could say that. Yesterday, I had to reprimand one of my students. So naturally today I got yelled at by his parents and then my boss. So it's just been a super day.”

“So they don't do that thing anymore where the teacher is right?” Kylie asked.

“No,” Amy replied. “They do this new thing where the lazy asshole teenager is right no matter what.” Amy could scream she was still so mad. “And apparently this kid can do no wrong in his parents’ eyes and apparently their pockets run deep and they're generous to the school. So naturally, I was in the wrong for reprimanding my student. Stupid prep schools. I should have known better.”

There was a long pause before Kylie replied. “So what do you want to do? Wanna drink?”

Amy thought it over quickly. “Yeah, I could use a drink.”

“Great!” Kylie cheered. “The squad is all going to Shaw’s so you should meet us there. You don't live too far from there.”

Amy drew back. The squad? “Oh that's okay, I don't want to interrupt your work hangout.”

“Dude, we go out all the time.”

“Still,” Amy maintained

“Is this because of Jake?” Kylie questioned.

“It's weird,” Amy insisted.

“No it's not. So you guys have dated? Big whoop. You still seem to get along. Even if things ended as badly as you say,” Kylie retorted.

“I just don't want him to think I moved back and now i’m not leaving him alone,” Amy explained weakly.

She could picture Kylie rolling her eyes. “You’re an idiot. Just come on. I’m hanging up. Meet me there. Bye!”

Amy groaned. Of course Kylie would back her into a corner like this. Sighing dramatically, Amy stomped back to her room to change out of her sweats. She hated the part of her that tried to look cute.

Amy found Shaw’s easily enough. Kylie was right, she didn’t live too far away. She wasn’t sure what to expect when she walked into the bar, but she surely wasn’t expecting Kylie to already be fairly far along in her drinking.

“Amy!” Kylie yelled when Amy walked into the bar. Amy grimaced, realizing how the night would actually go. Amy smiled sadly and walked toward her friend.

“How much have you had to drink?” Amy asked bluntly.

“Not that much,” Kylie lied. “Except that Johnson asked me to do some shots with him so obviously I had to,” she added.

Amy rolled her eyes, approaching the bar with Kylie. “So you’re already hammered?”

Kylie gasped in offense. “Hammered? I am offended!” With a loud hiccup, Kylie wrinkled her nose. “I still wouldn’t say hammered. Just...having fun.”

Amy shook her head with disappointment. “Whatever.” She turned to the bartender. “I’ll have a beer.”

Kylie was looking in another direction when Amy turned back to her. Kylie looked at her with a mischievous expression on her face. “Do you want to play darts?”

Amy stared at her with a blank look. “No. I came here to talk, not play darts.”

“But I really wanna play darts,” Kylie whined. Amy shook her head, not a fan of this side of Kylie.

“Hey Kylie,” someone called from behind them. “I’ll play darts with you!” Kylie cheered and went off to play darts with them, not even sparing a word for Amy.

Amy stared after her friend with a dumbfounded expression. What had just happened? Not a full hour ago, Kylie was encouraging Amy to come out to vent about her bad day. And now Kylie was blowing her off. If Amy hadn’t ordered a drink already, she’d have just left.

Amy sighed as she sat down on a stool at the bar. Reaching out and taking a long pull from her beer, Amy debated how quickly she could leave. She looked over when someone sat down next to her. Amy smiled at Jake, raising her bottle in toast.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked.

Amy rolled her eyes before pointedly looking over at Kylie. “Well I came here to vent to my best friend and she got drunk in the time it took me to get here. So...not great.”

Jake looked over at Kylie with a small laugh. “Yeah, that sounds about right?”

“Does she seriously do this in front of her colleagues?” Amy wondered aloud.

Jake nodded. “Yep. She gets sloppy really easily. And is usually pretty unashamed about it.”

Amy shook her head. “God, this feels just like going to parties with her in college. She’d promise me that I got to be the one to drink and then she’d get sloshed before I even finished my first drink.” Jake was looking at Amy with a weird look. “What?”

Jake smirked. “Nothing, I’m just trying to picture you at a college party. I can’t do it. I can’t picture you trying to get wild.”

Amy glared at him. “Hey, I can get wild when I want to.”

“You? You who used to freak out when we drank because you were so sure that we would all get arrested?” Jake reminded her.

Amy rolled her eyes. “I was 16. I obviously have changed since then.”

“Fine,” Jake teased, “Match Kylie, drink for drink.”

“Well I’m obviously not going to do that,” Amy retorted. Jake laughed. “But not because I can’t get wild, like you have accused me, but because I’m going to have to be the one who make sure she gets home and doesn’t die.”

“You’re a good friend,” Jake remarked.

“Yeah,” Amy replied. “I’m the good friend who comes to vent about her bad day and ends up being the DD instead.”

“What was so bad?” Jake asked. He fixed her with a pointed glance. “Having boy troubles?” Amy grimaced. “Yeah, I don’t know why I said that,” Jake said in response to her expression.

Amy smirked. “I mean I am, yeah.” Jake looked uncomfortable. “A teenage boy with a bad attitude and rich asshole parents wrapped around his finger.”

For the slightest second, Jake looked relieved. Amy didn’t want to examine it too much. “So work is rough?”

Amy nodded. “Yeah. I apparently can’t reprimand my students if they have rich parents who give lots of money to the school. The worst part is, my boss got involved, told me to back down. And the kid is obviously going to know that his parents stepped in. I’ve lost all my control. I’m not going to be able to get him to do anything ever again because he’ll just send his parents in if he doesn’t want to do it.”

Jake sighed. “Yikes. That’s rough for sure.” He sat there thoughtfully for a second. Suddenly, he turned to Amy with an excited look in his eyes. “Okay, here’s what you do!” Amy laughed at his excitement. “You come up with this super tedious assignment for the whole class. Then you email the class, except for this kid and you say “Oh by the way, I forgot to say that this is just extra credit. But the other sections have to do it for real, so don’t talk about it being extra credit or you’ll have to do it for real too.” And then you’ll get him.”

Amy laughed hysterically. “So you want me to use Charles’s tactics?” Jake looked at her with a confused expression. “You know, when Charles asked all of us to go to dinner with him and Vivian and then called us all and told us not to come?”

Jake burst out laughing at the memory. “You want to know the funniest part of that? That was actually my idea!”

Amy closed her eyes and nodded slowly. “Of course it was.”

Jake smiled, taking a drink of his beer. “Man, we had a lot of fun didn’t we?” Amy smiled and nodded thoughtfully. “I mean, I’m not one of those people who misses high school or whatever.”

“Right,” Amy agreed. “You’re not insane.”

He laughed. “Exactly. But we did have good times. When the five of us all spent time together, it was a good time.”

Amy nodded in agreement, taking a sip of her beer. “Like the time we all snuck out to Charles’s parents’ beach house.”

Jake laughed. “Yes! Or the time that we threw that party because Gina and I actually got passable scores on our SATs!”

“Or remember the time that I tried to make my grandma’s Arroz con Pollo for the potluck in our spanish class?” Amy mused.

“The spanish class that you took to humiliate us all?” Jake asked pointedly.

“I was taking really hard classes that year. I needed an easy A!” Amy defended. Jake laughed, shaking his head. “But I made you be my taste tester and you claimed I was poisoning you so we made Charles come over and make it for me.”

Jake laughed. “Yes! He was so shocked you couldn’t cook that he offered to give you lessons.” Amy shook her head in laughter. “The absolute best though, was when you punched Jenny Gildenhorn at my Bar Mitzvah. I think that was just the best thing that ever happened.”

Amy smiled smugly. “I was grounded for a week after that. But it was worth it. What kind of jerk dumps someone at their own Bar Mitzvah? She deserved it.” They sat there silently for a few minutes, soaking in the nostalgia. Amy looked over at Jake, recognizing that it was easier to spend time with him than she’d always expected. Given the way things ended between them, for the past 12 years, Amy had always imagined things would be hard if she ever ran into Jake again.

But there they were, for the third time in a couple of weeks. It wasn’t uncomfortable spending time with Jake and that made her happy. Jake was always a person she’d wished was still in her life. Maybe it meant that was possible.

“Can I say something potentially awkward?” Amy asked hesitantly. Jake shrugged, urging her to continue. “I always thought this would be weirder.”

Jake furrowed his brow. “What? Seeing each other again?”

Amy nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know, but I always just thought it would be harder.”

Jake tilted his head. “Maybe since it was a decade ago, all the weirdness disappeared. Or maybe it was the fact that it was just a high school relationship.”

Amy tensed slightly. It hadn’t been the first time that someone had made that comment about their relationship. But even years later, their four year relationship still meant something to Amy. It stung to hear Jake just brush it off as nothing. Amy nodded, taking a drink from her beer. “Yeah.”

She felt Jake’s eyes on her. “Or maybe it doesn’t matter what went down when you had a strong enough friendship,” he offered. Amy looked over and smiled at him.

“I like that answer.”

Jake reached over and clinked his bottle with Amy’s. “To catching up with old friends.”

“To Kylie getting drunk and abandoning me at different events,” Amy countered.

Jake laughed. “Safe to say this probably won’t be the last time that happens.”

Amy shook her head, glowering a bit. “Absolutely won’t be the last time.”

Amy was sitting in homeroom, doing her homework that was due the next week. Gina and Rosa slid into the desks on either side of her. Amy looked at them both nervously before turning back to her work. “What’s up?” she asked with a bored tone.

“So Homecoming is coming up,” Gina reminded her. “Anyone you want to go with?”

Amy looked over at her with a confused expression. “Why?”

“Just curious,” Gina replied evasively.

Amy narrowed her eyes at her. “I don’t know. I’d be fine going alone.”

“Oh come on,” Rosa groaned. “No one actually wants to go alone.”

“What if Luke Mueller asked you?” Gina pestered.

Amy shook her head. “Why would he ask me? I don’t even talk to him.”

“But he’s so cute,” Gina argued. “Surely you’d be game if he asked you.”

“I don’t know him. I’d rather go with someone I know.”

“Like who?” Rosa asked, uncharacteristically interested in Amy’s life.

“I don’t know,” Amy said vaguely. “It would be fun to go with a friend. You know, like if I went with Jake or something.”

“You want to go with Jake?” Gina probed.

“I never said that,” Amy defended. “I just said it would be fun to go with a friend.”

“Yeah, but then you mentioned Jake,” Rosa reminded her.

Amy rolled her eyes, wondering how she got trapped in this conversation. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

Slowly, Gina and Rosa edged out of their seats and walked away whispering about something annoyingly. Amy shook her head and tried to focus back on her work. She did her best to put the weird interaction from her mind.

Three days later, Amy was sitting in the library, getting some work done when Jake walked in and sat down across from her. He didn’t have any schoolbooks with him. Amy was confused as to why he was there. She kept herself focused on her work though until Jake nervously cleared his throat. Amy looked up curiously.

“Hey, uh, hey Ames,” Jake sputtered. Amy furrowed her brow, confused by his nerves. “So whatcha doing?”

Amy looked at her books and then back at Jake, still confused. “Uh, work…”

“Ha, ha, classic,” Jake replied. It did nothing to clear up Amy’s confusion. He shook his head more to himself than to her. “Okay, I wanted to ask you if you were going to Homecoming with anyone.”

Amy stared at him, the conversation with Gina and Rosa flashing back to her. She scowled. “No. Did Gina put you up to this?”

Jake looked taken aback. “What? No. Why would Gina have put me up to this?”

“She didn’t tell you to ask me as a joke?”

“No,” Jake answered. “Besides, who said I’m asking you?” Amy sat back in her chair, feeling like an idiot. Jake shook his head again. “I don’t know why I said that. I am asking you.” He sighed deeply. “Amy Santiago, would you like to go to the Homecoming dance with me?”

Amy smiled. “Sure. Like just as friends?”

Jake looked uncomfortable again. “Um...actually no. I was...kinda wondering...you know if you’d want to go as a date.” Amy was surprised and knew her face reflected it. “But I mean you don’t have to. We can obviously just go as friends.”

Amy reached out and grabbed Jake’s hand. “I’d love to go as a date.”

Jake stared at her. “You would?” Amy nodded sincerely. A huge smile broke out on Jake’s face. “Great. Then it’s a date!”

“It’s a date,” Amy echoed happily.

And that was the simple beginning of their four year relationship.

Jake was having dinner with Charles at one of the restaurants he was reviewing. “Wait,” Charles said, interrupting Jake. “You hung out with Amy again?”

Jake shrugged. “Yeah.” Charles was staring at Jake with a dumbfounded expression. “What, Charles?”

Charles shook his head. “So is this a thing you’re doing now? You guys are spending time together?”

“Not intentionally,” Jake replied quickly. “Well, okay the first couple of times weren’t intentional.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean first?”

Jake sighed, wishing he hadn’t said anything. “So we hung out at the bar recently when she was there to see Kylie and Kylie was plastered. And we chatted and it was fun. So we got lunch recently.” Charles stared at him. “A couple of times actually.”

Jake watched as Charles’s jaw actually dropped open. “Oh my God. Are you guys dating again?”

Jake shook his head vehemently. “No. We are not dating. Not at all. We’re just two old friends catching up. It’s nothing Charles.”

“It is not nothing, Jake,” Charles argued. “You were hung up on Amy for years. And now as if it’s nothing, you’re just spending time together again?”

“Dude, I was 18 when we broke up. And yes, it happened suddenly and threw me for a loop for a while. But I have had serious relationships since Amy,” Jake countered. “If it was hard for me to be around Amy, I wouldn’t be spending time with her.”

“I still say that Amy messed you up for all future relationships,” Charles insisted. Jake rolled his eyes. “I mean your relationship was fine with Sophia and then all the sudden it wasn’t. Just like you and Amy.”

Jake shook his head. “My relationship with Sophia ended because it was always going to end. She was a defense attorney. Our jobs literally clashed. Okay? You can’t blame the end of that relationship on me being scarred by Amy ten years earlier.”

“I’m just saying, that whatever happened with Amy messed you up,” Charles continued. “And while I always loved Amy, and it’s great to see her again, I just want you to be careful. You’re a good guy, Jake, the best, and you deserve to be happy.”

Jake smiled. “That’s really sweet, Bud, but we’re not dating. We’re literally just hanging out. Catching up on each other’s lives. We were a big part of each other’s lives and we’re just getting to know each other again. I promise you there is no way I’m going to get hurt.”

Charles glared at Jake. “Why would you even say that? That’s basically a guarantee that it’s going to happen now.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

“So does that mean you’re going to see her again?”

Jake shrugged. “I mean, probably.”

“Maybe I should come with you guys sometime,” Charles offered. “Make sure things don’t get too heavy. You always used to say I was a good buzzkill.”

Jake rubbed his hand down his face. “I stand by that. You definitely are. And yeah, feel free to come because you’re my, no our friend and it would be nice for all of us to spend time together.”

“And then it won’t get too romantic,” Charles maintained. Jake shook his head, giving up on the subject.

Jake and Amy dating somehow didn’t change the dynamic of the group. They all still hung out constantly. Jake and Amy tried their best not to be too touchy in front of their friends. They didn’t want their friends to hate them. Through all of freshman year, Jake and Amy got acquainted with being in an actual relationship. By the end of sophomore year, it was weird for them to think it had been any other way. They were comfortable around each other and had fun together, even just doing mundane things. The amount of times they did their homework together and both still considered it a good time was astounding to them and their friends.

Amy spent a lot of time around Jake’s home simply due to the fact that he didn’t have seven brothers. Karen often welcomed Amy to eat with them and spend any time she wanted there. Amy loved being with the Peraltas.

And Jake felt the same way at Amy’s house. Amy’s mom had once told him that he was always welcome there. He enjoyed getting to feel like part of a big family. He loved being in a house with a ton of people. It made him feel like he got to experience the things he’d missed out on by being an only child. Between their sophomore and junior years, Jake even got invited on the Santiago summer trip to Washington D.C. when one of Amy’s brothers couldn’t go.

So by the time they reached their junior year of high school, Jake and Amy being together was as normal as normal could be. They were so comfortable being in each other’s lives that nothing really fazed them.

Jake strolled into the Santiago house one late afternoon looking for Amy. Mrs. Santiago greeted him happily, offering him food or drinks. He kindly refused her offer, hoping to find Amy so she could help him with his math homework. Geometry was kicking his ass. A concerned look crossed Mrs. Santiago’s face when he mentioned Amy.

“She locked herself in her room a couple hours ago and none of us have been able to get her to come down,” she explained. “I even told her I was going to start dinner and needed her help, but nothing.”

Jake was concerned by that too. Amy was never one to ignore her family. He patted Mrs. Santiago on the shoulder. “Let me see if I can help.” She nodded, thanking Jake, and urging him upstairs.

He knocked on the door once. No reply. He knocked on the door again. This time he was told to go away. “Ames, it’s me,” he called through the door. She gently called that he could come in. Amy was sitting back on her bed, curled in a ball, her hair a mess and papers lying everywhere.

Jake calmly walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Amy looked up at him, fresh tears brewing in her eyes. He noticed her tear stained face and just wanted to hold her. She shook her head, the rest of her body shaking back and forth. “I can’t do this, Jake.”

“Can’t do what?” he asked, very concerned.

Her breathing became shallow and she started braiding her hair slowly as she still rocked back and forth. “These classes. I can’t do it.”

Jake closed his eyes, realizing Amy was having a panic attack. He’d seen them before. Not often, and not really this bad. Amy looked like she was shutting down. He picked up all the papers in front of her and stacked them neatly on her desk. She looked at him with a shocked expression. Jake sat in front of her, gripping her shoulders. “You’re going to be fine. I promise. You are Amy Santiago. You are brilliant. You are awesome. And you wouldn’t be in these classes if you couldn’t handle them. I know it’s a lot more work than before, but you’re gonna kill it. I promise.”

Amy stared at him, still unsure. “Jake, what if I took on too much? What if I can’t handle all this work? I feel like I’m losing my mind.” Her breathing was still rough.

Jake made sure to handle Amy delicately. He grabbed one of her hands and held it to his chest, urging her to match her breathing with his. It took several minutes for her to successfully do it. Once her breathing evened out, she started to calm down more. Once he felt like he wouldn’t be making things worse, Jake wrapped Amy into his arms and held her there as he stroked her hair. “Ames, I know it seems scary now, but you’re gonna conquer this. Yes, it’s more work, but the advisors wouldn’t have let you take all these classes at once if they didn’t think you were up to it.”

He felt Amy weakly nod against him. “You really think so?”

“No,” Jake said. He felt Amy pull back and stare at him. “I know so.”

She smiled and shook her head, leaning back into him, and wrapping her arms around him. “Thank you,” she whispered into his shirt.

Jake planted a kiss in her hair. “Anything for my girl.”

It had been a couple of months since Amy Santiago had surprisingly come back into Jake Peralta’s life. He could never have expected the seamless way she fit back into it. They would get drinks together after work when either of them had had hard days. Amy had quickly realized that when it came to getting drinks, Jake was a more reliable friend to meet than Kylie.

Jake had made good on his promise to Charles that the three of them would spend time together too. Charles took them to lots of different places all over the city. Some restaurants were really good and some were unpalatable. Jake was thankful that he finally had someone to share in the misery of Charles’s food choices again. It made him laugh when Amy made the same pained faces that he did.

He still had to reassure Charles nearly every time that they weren’t dating. Jake just thought it was fun spending time with her again. Amy had always been a good person to hang out with and that hadn’t changed in the twelve years they’d spent apart. As strange as it was to be spending so much time with his ex-girlfriend, Jake had been having a better time in the past couple of months than he had in quite a while. Amy was suddenly the person he texted first when he wanted to do something. He chose not to read into what that could mean. There was nothing between them except friendship.

Jake was getting ready to leave the station one night when Kylie stopped him. “Hey, Peralta, where are you headed?”

“Home?” Jake answered, unsure of why she was asking.

“Oh great,” she started. “Can you do me a favor then? Well, it’s not really a favor for me. It’s a favor for Amy.” Jake nodded, letting her continue. “So she left her laptop at my apartment last night and she needs me to run it to work for her.”

“She’s still at work?” Jake asked, looking at his watch.

“They’re having conferences or something, I don’t know,” Kylie explained. “Anyway, she needs it and I just got a lead on one of my cases that I need to pursue. Do you think you could do it?”

Jake nodded, reaching out to grab the laptop bag from her. “I’ll deliver it to Miss Santiago post haste.” Kylie just stared at him like he was an idiot. “Whatever, I’ll get it to her.”

So Jake drove to Manhattan to Amy’s terrible prep school. It seemed fairly deserted for Amy to still be there. He found his way to her classroom, looking through the window to see if he was going to interrupt her in a meeting. Jake was confused when he didn’t see anyone in there, not even Amy. He opened the door slowly, looking around to evaluate the room. His detective skills were kicking in as he entered the room. He couldn’t see Amy, but he heard her.

The sound of shallow, urgent breaths took him back to a moment years ago when he was basically a different person. He knew what that sound meant. Amy was having a panic attack. He looked around wildly, hoping to find her. Jake walked toward her desk, finding her curled in a ball on the floor behind it.

Jake put the laptop on the desk and quickly crouched down in front of Amy. He reached forward, putting one hand on the back of her head and the other on her arm. She looked up at him, surprised to see him there. Without even speaking first, he took her hand and placed it on his chest, hoping to even out her breathing. He squeezed her shoulder, hoping to encourage her to try to follow him. She closed her eyes and leaned forward, laying her head against his shoulder, seemingly focusing on her breathing. Jake moved his hand from her shoulder to rub up and down her back soothingly. They remained in that position for several minutes as Amy came down from her panic attack.

Amy picked her head up finally, looking Jake in the eye. “What are you doing here?” she asked softly.

Jake motioned to the laptop on the desk behind him. “Kylie sent me with your laptop.” He looked at her critically. “Are you okay?”

Amy nodded. Jake raised one eyebrow. “I am now. Really.” She leaned in and hugged Jake tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Jake squeezed his arms around her. “Of course.”

Amy pulled back, finally getting up off the floor. Jake stood up too. “I can’t believe you still remember how to calm me down.”

Jake chuckled. “I wouldn’t have guessed that I did. But I heard you and I just knew exactly what to do.”

Amy smiled, walking around to the front of her desk. “Well, I guess I should get back to work. Thanks for bringing my laptop,” she said, motioning for the bag.

Jake was confused. “What? No, you need to go home.”

Amy looked at him like he was being silly. “Jake, I obviously have work to do. That’s why I’m still here.”

“If you have work to do on your laptop, you can do it at home,” Jake reasoned. He stepped closer to Amy. “Why did you have a panic attack?”

Amy shrugged. “These things happen.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But if I recall, usually it was increased stress that brought them on for you.” Amy stared at him. “So what was it?”

She shook her head. Finally she sighed. “Okay, fine. We were having conferences and a parent came in and yelled at me and told me I was a terrible teacher and they were going to make sure I didn’t have a job next year. And they were the last person that I saw and I just...I don’t know had an attack.”

Jake gaped at her. “You shouldn’t be alone with people like that. Especially if they can make you have panic attacks.” Jake paused, thinking about something. “Wait, how long were you having a panic attack?”

Amy shrugged. “I don’t really know.”

Jake walked closer to Amy. He put his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve been here long enough. You need to go home where you can be comfortable. You know how much panic attacks wear you out. Just go home. And if you absolutely have to do you work, do it there. Where no one can come in and yell at you.”

Amy stared at Jake for a long moment. Finally she patted his hand on her shoulder and nodded. “Okay. I guess I’ll go home.”

Jake pumped one fist in the air. “Victory!”

Amy laughed and shook her head as she turned back to her desk. “So I’ll see you soon?” she asked.

Jake scoffed. “Do you really think I’m gonna just leave and go on faith that you’ll actually go home? You think I’m gonna fall for the Santiago fake out? Nope. I’m walking you to your car.”

Amy rolled her eyes, but seemed to know that she wasn’t going to win this one. She nodded, picking up her laptop bag and another work bag, gesturing Jake towards the door. They walked through the deserted school hallways. The only other person they encountered was one of the janitors. Amy waved to him as she and Jake walked out the front door.

Jake walked Amy to her car when she stopped to look at him. “So lunch next week?”

Jake nodded. “Sounds good.”

Amy smiled, stepping closer to wrap Jake in a hug. “Thank you, Jake.”

He wrapped his arms around her in return. “You’d do the same thing.”

Amy hated to admit it, but Jake was right. She was exhausted by the time she got back from Manhattan to Brooklyn. She was heading toward her apartment building when she noticed a familiar car slowing down on the street. She rolled her eyes, turning back toward the street. Jake was sitting in his car, idling outside her apartment. Amy walked over as he rolled the passenger window down. “Are you following me? Should I file a police report?”

Jake laughed. “Just wanted to make sure you got home okay. I knew you’d tell me not to.” Amy smirked. He had her there. “Plus I don’t live too far away.”

Amy stared at him blankly. “Do you forget that I know where you live?”

Jake chuckled. “Okay, so I guess I am a bit out of my way. I just wanted to make sure.”

Amy leaned down against the passenger door. “Well that is very kind of you. I made it home just fine. But, though I hate to admit it, you are right. I’m exhausted. So I’m gonna go inside.” Jake nodded. Amy leaned in through the window and grabbed Jake’s shoulder. “Thanks again.”

“No problem. You can return the favor when I come across some super gruesome crime,” Jake joked.

Amy chuckled sadly. “You just let me know if I need to return the favor.” She backed away from the car. “Night, Jake.”

Jake smiled kindly. “Night, Ames.”

Amy stopped in her tracks. Hearing that nickname again gave her pause. She waved to him and then sped into her apartment. Sure, she’d been spending a lot of time with Jake lately, but this was the first time she’d felt that pang again.

She hadn’t been expecting to see Jake at a time when she was at her most vulnerable. But then he showed up, calmed her down, and made sure she got home okay. How could she not be feeling at least a little something?

Somehow the thing that made it all so clear was having him call her Ames. It was like a switch flipped in her mind and she realized that she’d been so dumb over the last couple of months. The fact that she thought that she could spend so much time with Jake and not have these feelings return was silly.

Jake was a great person in high school and was an even better person as an adult. He was still just as kind, thoughtful, and funny. He still made the same lame jokes that Amy loved. He still had the same stupid grin that used to make Amy weak in the knees. He was basically the same person just more mature.

Amy was in the middle of spiraling over her realization that her feelings for Jake had returned when her phone started ringing in her hand. She looked down to see Kylie smiling up at her. Amy answered the phone quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey! Did Jake get you your laptop?”

Amy looked down at the bag she’d just set down on her couch. “Yeah. He did.”

“Is everything okay?” Kylie asked, sounding concerned.

“I’ve just had a weird night.”

“Explain.”

“Jake found me in the throes of a panic attack and he calmed me down and made sure I came home because he knew I’d be exhausted,” Amy explained.

“That’s nice,” Kylie remarked. “He still remembered the best way to calm you down?”

“Yeah,” Amy replied softly.

There was a long pause between them. “Oh my God. You like Jake.”

“What?” Amy asked shrilly. It was true, but Amy wasn’t ready to admit it to someone else. “You really think that in the last twelve years I never moved on from my high school boyfriend? Kylie, I’ve dated other people. Remember Teddy? We dated for two years.”

“Yeah, I never insinuated that you still liked him. I meant that you liked him again,” Kylie clarified. “But the way that you just jumped down my throat like that makes me think that you are worried that you’ve never gotten over him.”

“I got over him,” Amy insisted. “I just...I don’t know. Maybe I do like him again,” Amy admitted. “But it’s not like it’s going to go anywhere. It’s probably just a resurgence of feelings because he took care of me. It’s fine.” Amy paused, remembering that Kylie now worked across from Jake. “And Kylie, you have to promise me that you won’t say anything to him. I mean it.”

“Whoa. I promise,” Kylie said, sounding sincere.

They talked for a little bit more, thankfully not about Jake. But Amy was still exhausted from the panic attack. Somehow though, as she laid in bed that night, it took her longer than usual to fall asleep. She wondered what it meant that she had feelings for Jake again. Could they just be an echo from twelve years ago, finally catching up to her? Or could they be real, adult feelings, informed by time she’d spent with him again? Amy sighed, turning over to try and get comfortable, wishing more than anything that she could get Jake Peralta off her mind.

“Guys, I am just so excited for you two to try this place!” Charles exclaimed.

“Don't you think you maybe shouldn't review places you know you like?” Amy asked.

Jake agreed with her. “Yeah that seems a little shady.”

“I don't know that I like it,” Charles argued. “I’ve just heard big things coming out of the soft opening. Honestly, you two wouldn't be able to get in for several more months if you weren't coming with me.”

Jake and Amy looked at each other and held back laughter. Jake shook his head at Charles. They waited at the hostess stand as Charles name dropped. It had been a few weeks since Amy had recognized that she might have feelings for Jake again. She was doing her best to keep them at bay. More than anything, she just wanted to spend time with him.

“Right this way,” the hostess said. Charles flashed them an excited look as they turned to follow the hostess.

They were presented with menus and upon looking at them, Amy and Jake both released a small gasp. The food was obnoxiously expensive. “Hey, Charles, Buddy, umm...did you know how expensive this place was?”

Charles looked at him with a quizzical expression. Amy nodded. “I’m a teacher and I’m trying to calculate when rent is due to see if I can afford this meal.”

Jake pointed at Amy for emphasis. “Yeah, and you know I’ve never been the best with my finances.”

Charles was still confused. “Guys, did you miss the part where I told you they were comping our meal since i’m reviewing the restaurant?”

Amy and Jake looked at each other before looking back at Charles. “Oh thank God!” Amy cried.

“Whew, big relief there,” Jake agreed. “Must have missed that part.”

Charles smiled goofily at them. “Why do you look like that, Charles?” Amy asked.

“Because that means you guys actually came because you want to spend time with me, not because of a free meal,” Charles replied happily. Amy could swear she saw tears in his eyes.

“Charles, of course we want to spend time with you,” Jake clarified. “If I didn't want to spend time with you, I’d have dropped you sometime between fourth grade and turning 30.” Amy laughed.

“That's really sweet, Jake, but please don't talk about dropping me,” Charles pleaded. Jake stifled a chuckle and nodded.

The food seemed to hold up to its price. It was quite exquisite. Jake said it was the best steak he’d ever eaten. Amy’d gone out on a limb and ordered lobster and she was very impressed too. At the end of the meal, Charles went back into the kitchen to talk to the chef, leaving Jake and Amy alone at the table.

“Wow, there's still a long line to get in here,” Amy mused as she noted the people over Jake’s shoulder. He turned around to look, turning back very quickly with a panicked look on his face. “What was that?” Amy asked.

The panic on Jake’s face didn't fade. “Oh nothing, just spotted my ex-girlfriend over there. It's fine.”

Amy raised her eyebrows in near amusement. “Really?” she asked, kind of intrigued, ignoring the pang in her chest.

“Mhmm,” Jake confirmed, pouring himself more wine from bottle on the table. “I’d be safe in saying things didn't end well between us.”

Amy looked over Jake’s shoulder, wondering which woman it was that had Jake so freaked. Nothing put her past relationship with Jake in more perspective than seeing him freak out like this. Amy had clearly built things up to be too much in her mind. Jake hadn't reacted like this when he’d seen her because their relationship was a high school relationship. Amy felt a little crushed, but still curious to see how this played out.

“Okay,” Jake said suddenly, reaching to grab her hand. “I’m going to ask you to do something awkward.”

“You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?” Amy asked, sensing where he was going.

“Yes, actually. Thanks for just knowing what I was going to say.”

“Well a good girlfriend can basically read her man’s mind,” Amy joked. Jake smirked, shaking his head. “But I have to know more about this situation obviously if I’m going to pretend to be a part of it.”

Jake nodded. “That's fair enough.” He reached out and held Amy’s hand, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. Amy tried not to be distracted by the motion. “Okay, so I started dating Sophia two years ago. We broke up six months ago. Things did not end well. I haven't seen her since until this moment.”

“When you’re out to dinner with another ex-girlfriend that you’re begging to play your girlfriend,” Amy added.

Jake glared at her. “Obviously.”

Amy reached over and laid her hand on the back of Jake’s neck, trying to look playful. “Well I think this is a hilarious situation.”

Jake kept playing with her hand, changing his expression from panic to faked devotion. “Well I’m glad you’re entertained, Santiago.”

Amy had no idea how long they had to keep up the charade. They just continued with little touches that would make it obvious that they were more than just friends.

A bad idea struck Amy, but she couldn't fight it. She reached over, playing gently with Jake’s earlobe, scratching every now and then. Jake was in the middle of telling a story when his head tilted and his shoulder tensed up, hitting her hand.

Jake looked at her with a horrified expression. “What are you doing?”

Amy feigned innocence. “Nothing. What do you mean?”

“You were playing with my earlobe!”

Amy continued to play dumb. “And?”

Jake stared at her in shock. “You were trying to see if that still turns me on,” Jake accused.

“You really think I’d do that in public?” Amy defended. Jake just stared at her. Amy burst out in nervous laughter. “Okay, I was! But I was just curious and we’re pretending to be a couple so I just did it. I’m sorry.” Jake shook his head at her with shock still covering his face. “I just have one question though. Does it still work?”

Jake gaped at her. “You do not need to know that!”

“You’re right, you’re right!” Amy said, throwing her hands up in surrender. She laid one hand back down over Jake’s as she leaned in closer. “But I think you wouldn't have freaked out so much if it didn't still work,” Amy teased.

Jake was staring at her in horror when his name was called. He turned to look, only to find himself face to face with his ex-girlfriend. He cleared his throat quickly. “Sophia,” he said lamely.

Amy felt his hand tense under hers. She squeezed it in support. She felt him squeeze back briefly.

“Jake, I gotta say, I’m surprised to see you here. You never seemed to enjoy fancy places before,” the woman said with a biting tone.

Jake looked like he was restraining himself from saying a lot. Amy decided to jump in. “I told him I would pay. I had a chance to get a reservation and I begged him to come with me,” she lied.

For the first time, Sophia noticed her presence. It looked like a new fire had been fueled. “Oh. And who are you?”

“Uh, Sophia, this is Amy...my girlfriend,” Jake answered awkwardly.

Sophia looked back and forth between them quickly. “Well, Amy, how long have you known Jake?” Jake rolled his eyes.

“We actually met in sixth grade. We went all through school together,” Amy replied, sparing a smile for Jake.

Sophia nodded. “So maybe you know never to expect a proposal. Or maybe you know what deep dark thing in Jake’s past screwed him up for functional relationships.”

Amy couldn't help but feel guilty as she looked over at Jake. He stared down at the table. She tore her eyes away from him to stare down Sophia. “Well his dad left when he was a kid. That could mess anyone up.”

Sophia stared at Jake, clearly her anger over their failed relationship still fresh for her. “Well Amy, I just hope you don't invest too much of your time here. Because something there is broken and he’ll just let you down.”

Amy gaped at her as she stalked away from the table. Amy was hesitant to talk to Jake. His eyes were closed and his jaw was tensed but his hand was still in hers. Amy felt like she had to accept some of the blame for why Jake was “broken.” “Jake,” Amy said softly, hesitantly.

Jake’s eyes quickly opened and he looked at her. “Amy, it wasn't you,” he said before she could finish her thought.

Amy fixed him with a sad expression. “Jake,” she tried again. “The stuff she was saying. The proposal and something bad happening in the past...how could it not be me?”

Jake clenched Amy’s hand in his. “Look, I’ll admit I was messed up over our break up for a while. But I can't blame my issues on you when it was ten years after the fact.”

Amy nodded, though she still felt guilty. “I just want to say, I know I’m twelve years late with this, but I am sorry. I’ve always been sorry about the way things ended. I mean it was my fault.”

Jake shook his head. “It wasn't all your fault.”

Amy laughed dryly. “It basically was all my fault. I screwed it up and I spent years hating myself for it. We were really happy and I messed that up.”

There was a heavy silence between them. They were no longer holding hands. Amy took a drink of more wine, wondering if she’d done this all wrong.

“Can I ask something?” Jake asked hesitantly.

“Of course.”

“It's just something that always bothered me,” Jake explained. “I always thought we were really happy, solid. And you just said that we were happy. So how was it so easy for you to just drop it all? Just walk away from it and never look back? I mean we were really happy and then we broke up pretty suddenly and you never even tried to talk to me. You were just gone.”

Amy stared at him in confusion. “Yes, I did.”

Jake gaped at her. “What?”

“I did try to talk to you,” Amy said, thinking back on it. “It was I think two days after we broke up. And I was miserable. So I went to your house and Gina answered the door. I told her that I wanted to talk to you but she wouldn't let me in. She said you were too busy being heartbroken and that if I ever cared about you, I’d leave and never try to contact you again.”

Jake stared at Amy with horror etched on his face. “Are you kidding me?” Amy shook her head. “She said that? She did that?” Amy nodded. “Wow. I’m really sorry about that. That's not at all what I would have said.” There was a long pause between them. Jake took a drink of his wine. “Out of, um, out of curiosity, what would you have said?”

Amy pretended this was harmless conversation but the truth was they were veering toward a topic that was a minefield. “Uh well, I remember that I had a whole speech prepared. Something about how I’d freaked out and how I was wrong. How I thought we should,” Amy paused, sighing heavily, “get back together,” she finished, aiming for nonchalance.

Jake laughed dryly. “And Gina decided I shouldn't hear that, huh?”

“To be fair, I didn't recite my speech for her,” Amy added with a grin, trying to lighten the mood.

Jake looked over at her, shaking his head at her with a reluctant grin. “Well hmmm…”

“Yep,” Amy replied awkwardly.

They both took a drink of their wine, trying to think of a topic to bring up that would steer them away from the giant “What if” conversation that was lingering over their heads. Thankfully, Charles finally returned from the kitchen and told them all about talking with the chef. Jake and Amy pretended to be really interested so they didn't have to talk about everything that had happened after Charles left the table.

Amy, Jake, and Charles were sitting around Jake’s apartment eating takeout, chatting about work when Jake stopped the conversation.

“I forgot to tell you guys this!” He exclaimed. “Guess who texted me that they’re going to be in town? Rosa!”

“Oh great!” Charles cried. “We should all get together.” Jake agreed.

Amy shrugged. “I’m okay. You can count me out.”

“What?” Jake asked.

“But it's Rosa!” Charles yelled.

Amy held her hands up in defense. “Look, I just don't really care to see her.”

“Why?” they asked in unison.

Amy rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Okay so I don't know if you boys remember this but I was the one who brought Rosa into our friend group. And then when Jake and I broke up, which, yes, was my my fault -”

“Amy,” Jake interrupted with a scolding tone.

“No, it was,” Charles said. “She stomped on your heart.”

“Charles!” Jake chided.

Amy rolled her eyes. “Whatever. So Rosa was my best friend besides Jake whose heart I’d just stomped on,” Amy continued her story as Jake shook his head. “And I wanted the comfort of my best friend and she wouldn't take my calls. And I kept trying and she just ignored me at a time when I really needed her. So I can be happy to see Jake all this time later. And I can be happy to see you, Charles, because there was no way you were taking my side. But Rosa should have at least been there for me and I don't care how much time has passed, I don't need to see her.”

Jake blew out a breath. “Well damn. I didn't know any of that. I would just like to say that yes, I informed everyone of our break up, but I never told them they had to choose between us.”

Amy laughed dryly. “Aww, thank you.” Jake smirked in reply.

Charles was sitting there looking nervous. Amy and Jake exchanged glances, wondering why he looked that way. When he noticed them staring at him, he finally spoke. “Okay, Amy, I know why Rosa froze you out. It's a secret I’ve been keeping for years.”

Amy and Jake looked at each other curiously. “Well tell us,” Jake prodded.

Charles took a deep breath. “Gina and Rosa were secretly hooking up and Gina made Rosa freeze you out.”

Amy gaped at Charles. Jake looked stunned. “What?” Jake cried. “How do you know this?”

“I...caught them,” Charles said slowly.

“Oh my God, when?” Amy probed.

Charles took a drink of his beer. “Do you remember the SATs party junior year?” Jake and Amy both nodded. “Well, while you two were off in another room hooking up -”

“We were not!” Jake yelled.

“We did not do that when we were all together,” Amy argued.

Charles sent them a knowing stare. “You can lie all you want but I know what you were doing. Maybe you don't remember because there was a lot of drinking at that party.”

“Had Amy had four drinks?” Jake asked. Charles shrugged. “Because if so, that definitely could have happened.”

Amy gasped and slapped Jake’s arm. “Hey!”

He looked at her pointedly. “Am I wrong?”

Amy backed down. “No.”

They turned back to Charles but Jake looked back at Amy quickly. “Does that still happen?”

Amy gaped at him. “You do not need to know that,” she said the words Jake had fired at her a couple weeks before.

“Oh, like you and my earlobe?” Jake retorted.

Amy was gearing up to reply when Charles interrupted. “Do you guys even want to hear this story?”

“Yes,” they both said, turning back to Charles.

“Anyway,” he said with a sigh. “So I was avoiding you guys for obvious reasons and I went to see what they were doing and...it was the same thing. I got like fifth wheeled at that party. But anyway they told me I could never tell you guys. And I know that it happened until they went to different colleges.”

“Wow,” Amy breathed. “I can't believe that.”

“So I think you should see Rosa,” Charles concluded.

Amy shook her head. “Nah, I’m still not going to.” Both men groaned.

Senior year of high school brought lots of new things to stress over. Essays, college acceptances, standardized tests, things like that. But there were two things that never stressed Jake or Amy out: knowing what they wanted to do or the idea of them having to break up. They were prepared for long distance from the moment Amy was accepted to Brown University and Jake only applied in New York. They also both knew they wanted to be cops. Having these things already decided made it easier for them to enjoy their last year of high school.

Everything just felt like a victory lap. They’d done it all three times before. The dances, the dates, the stress around midterms and finals. They’d conquered it together three times before and had been fine.

Graduation came and went with a big joint celebration for Jake and Amy. Basically, Jake and his mom joined the Santiago’s celebration. Everyone was happy for both kids, supporting them in their choice to do a long distance relationship.

A month before Amy was set to move, everything changed. The dread of leaving had started to set in. She wondered if she really wanted to go to Brown. Rosa was moving out of state and she had no qualms. Amy was full of qualms though. Was she making the right choices? Could she and Jake survive long distance? She loved Jake in a way she knew was bigger than just “high school.” But she still worried.

Then the fights with her mom began. Her mom wasn't exactly on board with Amy becoming a cop. It didn't matter that Amy had been planning to do that for years. Her mother had seen what Amy’s father had been through on the job, and she didn't want Amy doing that too. She performed long presentations on other jobs that would suit Amy better. As a good daughter, Amy sat through them. In order to appease her mother, Amy agreed not to become a cop. She changed her major before she left for Brown.

She hadn't told Jake about it. In fact, she hadn't told Jake about a lot of the things she’d been feeling and freaking out about. As far as Jake knew, they were still happy. And they were. But fears were ruining Amy’s perception of everything, even her last days with Jake.

It was less than a week before Amy was set to move. They were sitting in the park where they’d sat right before they started their freshman year. Jake was chatting about the future, unaware of how much it was unhinging Amy. She tried to participate, but conversation wasn't working for her. She did feel that she needed to tell him her news though.

“I forgot to tell you this before but...I officially declared my major at Brown,” Amy said weakly.

“Yeah!” Jake cheered. “Criminal justice!”

Amy took a deep breath. “Actually, it's going to be history.”

Jake laughed. “What? History? You’re joking.”

Amy shook her head. “I’m not actually. I had a lot of long conversations with my mom and we decided I could do a lot of exciting things with a history degree instead.”

“So your mom decided this?”

Amy glared at him. “It wasn't all her.”

Jake stared at her, confusion coloring his face. “Amy, I don't get it. You want to be a cop. You’ve gone on several passionate rants about it in the last four years. Why aren't you following your dreams? Why are you letting your mom talk you out of this?”

“I mean it's a dangerous job,” Amy reasoned.

“Sure. But that's doesn't mean you shouldn't do it if it's your dream!”

“Well, it's already happened, so…”

“Amy, why are you giving up on your dream?”

Amy looked at Jake, feeling a ton of different emotions. “High school is over, Jake. And some dreams don't transfer to college.”

Jake scoffed. “Amy, why are you doing this? This doesn't sound like you.”

“I don't know, maybe i’m just growing up,” Amy replied.

Jake nodded his head, not looking at her. “So what are you gonna realize you don't need next, huh? Me?”

Amy moved close to him. “Jake, don't say that.”

“I love you, Amy,” he said, grabbing her hands in his. “And that means pushing you to do what's best for you. And I don't think this is best for you. You have an achievable dream that you’re abandoning.”

“It's fine,” Amy replied, brushing it off. “I can make new dreams.”

Jake seemed taken aback by her statement. Amy wondered how he interpreted it. He squeezed her hands. “Do you know what my dream is?” Amy shrugged. “Marrying you.” Amy smiled, returning the hand squeeze. “Is that still something you would want?” Jake asked. Amy nodded.

Jake jumped up off the ground, pulling Amy up after him. “Then let's do it. Let’s get married.”

Amy laughed. She noted his serious face. “What?”

Jake nodded sincerely. “Marry me.”

Amy stared at him, completely confused as to where this came from. “And then what?”

“I’ll come to Rhode Island with you. I’ll find a college around Brown to go to. And we’ll still be together. And I can make sure you don't give up on anything else that means a lot to you. I’ll get a job and I’ll work through school. And if history is your new dream then we’ll go with that. Even though I don't think it is.” Jake squeezed Amy’s hands again. “I mean it. I don't want us to be apart. Amy, will you marry me?”

To say Amy had been freaking out before was an understatement. She was reaching all new levels. She didn't know why Jake was doing this. Everything was already changing enough. She was moving to a new state, starting a major she hadn't expected, and now he was springing this on her? She couldn't take it.

Amy pulled her hands out of Jake’s. She was shaking her head as tears started to build in her eyes. “I can't,” she whispered.

“Look I know we’re young,” Jake tried.

“That's not it,” Amy interrupted. “I just can't do this anymore. I’m sorry, Jake.”

“What do you mean? You mean us?” Jake asked incredulously.

“I do...mean us. This isn't working.”

“Of course it's still working. We’re just about to go through some changes. But that doesn't mean it's not working,” Jake insisted, tears falling down his face.

Amy pulled herself further away from Jake. “I can't do this. And I have to go. Goodbye, Jake.”

“Amy!” he called after her.

Amy ran to her car, tears streaming down her face. Too much was changing but she prayed it was for the best. She couldn't look at Jake as she left the spot that had once filled them with hope.

“Jake, I don't get how you forgot your wallet in an interrogation room at work,” Amy said as she followed Jake through the station.

“You know I can be forgetful, Amy,” Jake insisted. “Besides, I’m not about to ask you to pay for my lunch. So therefore we had to make this stop.”

Amy was skeptical, but Jake said it would take a couple of minutes. He opened a door, gesturing her in. Amy walked in, confused to see Rosa sitting in a chair on one side of the table. Amy turned around to leave but Jake slammed the door, locking them in there. “Are you serious?” Amy yelled.

Charles came over the intercom. “Hey, Amy! Look, it's Rosa. You two haven't talked in years. Get to it!”

Amy closed her eyes, fuming at the idiots on the other side of the mirror. She turned around to see Rosa looking equally pissed.

“Amy, so I hear you’re hanging out with Jake and Charles again,” Rosa said in an attempt to start the conversation.

“Yep. So how’ve you been in the last 12 years? Have any more friends you made and betrayed?” Amy asked bluntly.

Rosa rolled her eyes. “You’re mad at me from high school?”

“Well it would have to be since I haven't spoken to you since then,” Amy retorted.

“Damn, Charles. Was this a good idea?” Jake’s voice rang through the speaker.

“The mic’s on, you idiot!” Amy yelled.

“Amy, you can calm down. We just locked you in a room with someone you didn't want to see,” Charles replied.

Amy sighed, pulling a chair away from the table to a corner of the room. “So I really pissed you off that much, huh?” Rosa asked.

“Pissed isn't the right word,” Amy answered. “I was hurt.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I was 18 and stupid. And Jake came back saying you’d broken up with him and none of us knew what to think,” Rosa explained.

“So you just froze me out? Thought that was the way to go?”

Rosa looked regretful. “In hindsight, no. It wasn't the way to go.”

“Look, I know it's stupid to still be mad about this,” Amy admitted. “But it did really hurt. You were my best friend. Well outside of Jake. And then when I needed you the most, you weren't there.”

Rosa nodded. “I’m sorry. I wish my 18 year old self was smarter.”

Amy laughed. “Don't we all?” Amy scooted her chair closer to the table. “So how have you been over the last 12 years?”

“Oh my God, Jake! We did it!” Charles’s voice announced.

“Mic is still on, dummies,” Rosa yelled. She looked at Amy. “I’ve been good. You?”

Amy laughed. “Still not a big conversationalist. I’ve been okay. Probably been a lot better since I moved back to New York.”

“So you hang out with your ex-boyfriend all the time now?” Rosa asked skeptically.

“Eh, I needed company. He’ll do,” Amy joked.

“Hey!” Jake yelled through the speaker.

“It's really not weird, hanging out with someone whose heart you stomped on?” Rosa asked.

Amy turned back to the mirror. “Is that how you’ve phrased it all these years? Or are Charles and Rosa just dramatic?”

Jake’s voice came over the speaker. “Can't remember.”

“That's probably a yes,” Amy said mainly to herself. “Yeah, it's a little weird. But really just because sometimes I feel guilty that we didn't talk for twelve years.”

“Well you did break up with him,” Rosa reminded her.

“Yeah, I know,” Amy groaned. “But I was 18 and stupid myself. And I was in the middle of a huge freak out and then Jake proposed and that made it worse and -”

“Wait, what?” Rosa asked.

“What the hell?” Charles said over the speaker. The mirror turned clear and Amy could see Jake and Charles. Jake looked pained and Charles looked confused.

“Did you never tell them?” Amy asked through a grimace.

“Nope. Managed to leave my shame out of it all these years,” Jake admitted.

“Oh my God!” Amy yelled.

“Seriously, dude? You proposed to her? When she was leaving?” Rosa questioned.

“And why didn't you ever tell us?” Charles demanded.

“Because I was embarrassed. I figured she’d say yes. Or at least “maybe later.” I didn't expect her to break up with me. And I was ashamed so I never mentioned it,” Jake answered, clearly feeling guilty.

“I’m sorry, Amy,” Rosa offered.

“It's okay,” Amy conceded. “Charles spilled your years old secret. And honestly, at 18 if Jake had told me to freeze you out, I’d have probably done it.”

“You told them?” Rosa yelled.

“Only this week! I kept that secret a long time!” Charles defended.

Rosa shook her head a sighed. “Look do you want to go get a drink?”

“It's like noon,” Amy reminded her.

“Yeah, so?” Amy shrugged and nodded. “You losers can come too!” Rosa called through the mirror.

Jake unlocked the door to the interrogation room and released Amy and Rosa. They weren't best friends again yet, but he was happy they were talking again. Jake went to follow them out of the precinct when Charles stopped him.

“Okay but why did you never tell me at least that you proposed? That's a big deal,” Charles wondered.

Jake sighed. “I really was embarrassed. And sad. And I just wanted to forget about it.”

Charles nodded. “I get it now though. Everything that happened with Sophia.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “That wasn't why we broke up.”

“But didn't she want you to propose?”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, she did but we were never meant to last. Even though I deluded myself into thinking that we could for longer than I should have.”

“Do you think maybe Amy affected why you didn't want to propose to Sophia?” Charles pestered.

Jake rolled his eyes, but still gave it some thought. “I guess maybe? I proposed to who I thought would be a sure thing. Why would I risk putting myself out there again for someone I wasn't sure about?” Charles looked at him sympathetically. “And I guess I did think about that because that was when I decided to end things.” Jake shook his head. “She was hinting and I couldn't imagine doing it. I couldn't be sure. So I ended things.”

Charles smiled and brought Jake in for a hug. Jake groaned. “Thank you for finally being honest with me and with yourself.”

Jake winced as Charles squeezed him in the hug. “Yeah, okay.” Jake patted Charles to release him.

They were walking toward the elevator when Charles spoke again. “I guess I was kinda right when I said Amy messed up your relationship with Sophia, wasn't I?”

“Shut up, Charles.”

Amy was meeting Jake at Shaw’s on Friday night after a very long week. It seemed like all her weeks were incredibly long. Apparently that was the case when you didn’t like your job. She was digging her wallet out to start a tab when she realized something wasn’t there. “Oh my God,” Amy muttered, rifling through her purse like crazy. “Oh no. Oh my God.”

Jake stepped closer to her. “What’s wrong?”

Amy was still digging through her purse. “Ugh, I think I forgot my keys at school.”

“Well we haven’t had any drinks yet. Do you want to go back and get them?” Jake offered.

Amy looked up at him, touched by the suggestion to go all the way back to Manhattan with her. “No. By this time the janitors are probably gone too. And since I don’t have my keys, I don’t have my key to the school either. How could I have left them?”

“Well you can stay with me for the night,” Jake volunteered. “I have a passably comfy couch.” Amy was about to respond when an excited look crossed Jake’s face. “And tonight you can Kylie out!”

“What? What does that mean?” Amy laughed.

“You get to be the Kylie tonight. Look, you had a rough week. You forgot your keys. I already have to make sure you get home safe because I have offered you lodging in my home. So I’ll be Amy, you be Kylie. Drink away your week. Have the fun that Kylie never lets you have!”

Amy stared at him, thinking over the plan. “And you’ll be the responsible one who makes sure I don’t choke on my puke or come onto the cardboard cutout of a clown?”

Jake gaped at her. “Are these things Kylie’s done? I’m going to need a list so I can make fun of her at work.”

Amy laughed. “Are you sure about this?”

Jake nodded vehemently. “Absolutely. You deserve to blow off steam. I’ll just...pace myself or whatever.”

Amy smiled at Jake. “Thanks, Jake. I’ll buy your drinks tonight. In exchange for, what was it you said? Lodging?”

Jake laughed. “Deal!”

And Jake kept his promise. Amy drank heavily that night, ranting about work and life in general. They played pool and darts. Jake was a champ at being an Amy. Amy kept her promise too and paid for the few drinks Jake had. By the end of the night, Amy had probably laughed more than she had in a while. Jake had done a good job of distracting her from how rough her week had been.

Jake tried to be the best Amy he could be. He was basically supporting the incoherent mess that was Amy as he tried to flag down a cab to take them home. When Amy rested her head on Jake’s shoulder the whole ride back to his apartment, he let her. The biggest struggle was getting Amy from the cab up to his apartment. He managed it though, also getting her to drink a glass of water before she passed out on his couch.

Jake brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas before checking on Amy one more time. He stood over the couch and pulled the blanket back up over her. Just as he was heading to his room, she woke up.

“Jake?”

He turned back around and looked at her. Her eyes were glassy and she had a sad look about her. Jake crouched down next to the couch. “What’s up?”

She sighed, readjusting her position on the couch. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened?” Jake held his breath. “You know, if I hadn’t freaked out?”

Jake sat down on the floor next to the couch. He stared at Amy, wondering how to answer this question. He decided the truth was the best. Leaning forward, Jake tucked the blanket up around her more and pushed some of her hair out of her face. “Amy, I’m only going to tell you this because you are quite drunk and won’t remember it.” Amy stared at him with a look in her eyes that he couldn’t readily name. “Yeah, I think about it a lot. I think about what would have happened if I’d fought for you or something like that. I think about where we’d be if we hadn’t broken up.”

Amy nodded. Jake could swear he thought he saw tears in her eyes. “Think we’d have kids by now?”

Jake chuckled, though still realizing that this was dangerous territory. “I don’t know. Maybe one or two. We wouldn’t have wanted to rush into things.”

Amy smiled. “Yeah. Probably wouldn’t have wanted to wait till we established our careers.”

Jake nodded. “Yeah. Exactly. Even though everyone would have been pressuring us.”

Amy released a tired laugh. “They would have for sure.”

Jake couldn’t help but stare at Amy. “It’s probably for the best we avoided all that annoying pressure.”

All humor faded from Amy’s face. “Yeah. I guess so.” She shifted, starting to turn toward the other side of the couch. “Well, night, Jake.”

Jake nodded. “Night, Ames.” Amy seemed to fall back asleep pretty quickly, but Jake couldn’t move. The truth was he did think about it a lot. He wondered how things could have gone differently. Could they be a happy family instead of two kids who’d loved and lost each other reuniting years later? No matter how stupid he felt doing so, he’d always compared other women to Amy.

What did it mean that when Amy was the drunkest she’d been in a while, she was voicing these thoughts? Jake shook himself out of it. Maybe spending time with Amy had been a bad idea. Who would actually think it was a good idea to start spending most of your time with someone you once had an all consuming love for? Logical people would have advised him against it. Well, logical people actually had advised him against it.

Jake finally stood up and walked back to his room, wishing he could push the “what ifs” from his mind. The biggest “what if” that was plaguing him was “What if I’ve been spending all this time with her because I have feelings for her again?” Jake threw himself down on his bed with a sigh. How was it that he was 12 years older and he still couldn’t get his mind off Amy Santiago.

Amy’d left early the next morning, saying that she remembered there was a chess tournament at the school and she could get in to get her keys. She’d thanked Jake profusely for his hospitality and for “being a better Amy than she is.” Jake laughed as he saw her out the door, wondering how she was even functioning. He didn’t spend too much time worrying about that though because soon enough his mind was back on the other problem, the realization he had last night.

He was sitting on his couch, wondering how he’d gotten himself into this again. Jake should have known that if he spent ridiculous amounts of time with Amy, often rehashing the tales from their relationship, that he would fall for her again. She was still wonderful, kind, and caring. She still was just as passionate as she was before only about more logical things now. Anytime she told a story about how terrible work was, he found himself wanting to do something about it. He didn’t honestly know how it took him so long to realize he had feelings for Amy again. They’d probably returned the night at the bar when he’d seen her for the third time and had committed to spending the evening with her. Now it was months later and he felt like a mess over Amy for the second time in his life.

A knock at his door shook Jake out of his mind. He opened the door to find Charles waiting for him on the other side. “Charles, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I tried this new coffee place and it was really good so I brought you some,” Charles explained, walking past Jake into his apartment.

Jake took the cup from him. “So you’re just here to bring me coffee?” Charles nodded happily. “Alright,” Jake replied, dragging out the word.

“So what are you up to?” Charles asked, looking around the apartment.

“Nothing,” Jake said nonchalantly. He didn’t know what Charles was planning.

“Oh no, did I wake you up?” Charles wondered in a panic.

Jake shook his head, trying to calm down his friend. “Not at all.” Jake swallowed, deciding to tell Charles a bit more. “Amy was here this morning and I got up when she was leaving.”

“When she was leaving?” Charles asked, plopping himself down on the couch to hear more.

Jake rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, we were at Shaw’s last night and she realized she’d forgotten her keys so she slept on the couch.”

“Did anything else happen?” Charles waggled his eyebrows, subtlety lost on him completely.

“No,” Jake confirmed with a shake of his head. He started pacing back and forth across his living room. “Except…”

“Ooh, except?” Charles prodded.

“Except I think I have feelings for her again,” Jake admitted. He looked over at Charles hesitantly to see what his reaction would be. To his astonishment, Charles had no visible reaction.

“Well of course you do,” Charles said easily. “It’s Amy.”

Jake groaned. “No, this isn’t me saying I never got over her. I did. I moved on. I was happy for a while. I thought for a very brief point in time that I would be happy with Sophia. I moved on from my high school relationship,” Jake insisted.

“Of course you did,” Charles agreed. “But then you started spending a ton of your time with that girl again. A girl that you’ve loved before. A girl that you started liking the day you met her and that you’ve always had a strong connection with. A girl that meant an incredible amount to you.” Charles paused and fixed Jake with a knowing look. He might have had a point. “Besides, I mean I’ve been around Amy too since she moved back. She’s still just as delightful as she used to be.” Jake nodded with a small smile. “Jake, honestly, I’ve been waiting for you to tell me this. I know how great Amy is. And even with all the stupid stuff that went down between you, I’d think it was strange if you didn’t have feelings for her again.”

Jake nodded thoughtfully, sitting down on the couch beside Charles. “You really think so?”

Charles nodded. He took a sip of his coffee while staring at Jake. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Jake sat back against the couch. “Oh, nothing.”

“Jake!” Charles chided.

Jake turned to look at his friend. “I don’t know where Amy’s at...you know, emotionally or whatever. And I really like spending time with her. I don’t want to screw that up by being a clingy ex-boyfriend with feelings.”

Charles tutted softly. “You’re an idiot.”

Jake gaped at Charles. “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, but I say it with love,” Charles replied. He turned to Jake and gave him a pointed look. “Jake, this is a woman that you love.”

“I wouldn’t say “love” yet, okay? We’re not there yet. You could say “feelings,” even though that sounds kinda dumb,” Jake argued.

“Whatever,” Charles said, trying to continue. “The point is, you care about her. Don’t you think she deserves to know how you feel? Don’t you think she deserves to know all her options?”

Jake sat there thinking about it. He shook his head. “This isn’t like when I asked her out in high school. It’s not as easy as asking her to Homecoming and hoping she’d say yes. This is bigger. I mean we’re adults and we’ve be apart for years. Who knows if a relationship would work between us as adults?”

Charles laughed. “Okay, I take it back. Now you’re an idiot.” Jake glared at him. “You guys spend so much time together. You let her stay at your home and you took care of her while she was drunk. And she’ll pretend to be your girlfriend when you run into another ex.”

“I still regret telling you about that,” Jake muttered.

“You guys clearly still have the same chemistry that you had before. You guys have changed and matured but you’re still compatible,” Charles insisted. “Why wouldn’t you want to go for that?”

Jake paused, thinking about Amy. “I don’t know.”

Charles patted him on the knee. “Well you should think about it. You guys would be good together. Don’t ruin it by being too scared.”

Charles stood up, walking toward the door. “Where are you going?”

He looked back at Jake. “You’ve got some things to think about.”

Amy was buying Jake dinner as a thank you for taking care of her the night she’d lost her keys. Jake was worried he wasn’t doing much to carry the conversation along. He was still a little lost in thought over what to do about his feelings. Spending time with Amy was not necessarily helpful.

Amy was elaborately telling some story from college. She and Kylie apparently got into a lot of different hijinx in their time there. Jake hoped he was laughing at the right parts. “Yeah, Providence is a pretty place,” Jake added after a comment from Amy.

She looked at him with a puzzled expression. “You’ve been to Providence?”

Jake closed his eyes quickly, remembering that Amy never knew about that. “Umm...once.”

Amy was still confused. “When?”

Jake sat straighter in his chair, clearing his throat. “Uh, I believe it was spring of freshman year.”

“So you came with Charles?” Amy asked.

“What?” Jake asked, shaking his head to try and understand. “How do you know I went with Charles?”

“I saw him,” Amy explained.

“How?” Jake wondered.

“Wait, you were there?” Amy asked.

Jake sighed. “Okay, so I was having a hard time in school which was usually when I started feeling miserable about everything else. And I convinced Charles that we had to drive to Rhode Island and I had to see you. But when we got there I chickened out and I told Charles we should just turn around. I said that if you’d wanted to have anything to do with me, you’d have tried to reach out. Of course, this was before I knew that Gina commanded you not to.” Amy made a sad face, nodding her head. “But anyway, we went to a hotel and stayed the night and left early the next morning.”

“Well at some point, Charles ditched you and he came and found me,” Amy explained.

Jake stared at her in confusion. “Seriously? You didn’t just like see him from afar?”

Amy shook her head. “No, he came to my dorm and confronted me.” Jake gaped at her. “He told me that I was a bad friend and that I was more heartless than he’d ever have been capable of imagining. He didn’t know how I just ditched you all and ran away, especially you. And that I should know that I was responsible for making a great guy be heartbroken forever.”

“Wow,” Jake breathed. “I can’t believe that. That definitely went against the theme of the trip.”

Amy laughed. “Yeah I didn’t really know how to respond. I also was not alone in the room. Kylie’s boyfriend was hanging out in there while Kylie was showering and I think Charles thought that he was my new boyfriend. Because once he spotted him, he got a nasty look on his face, told me I disgusted him, and then spit on the floor.”

Jake wrinkled his nose. “Eww, he spit at you?”

Amy nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, I felt like he was trying to channel some movie but I didn’t know what it was.”

Jake laughed. “Wow. Well he never told me about that. I’m sorry that you had to endure Charles being especially weird.”

“I mean at that point, I’d seen enough weird sides of Charles to not be too scared by it,” Amy joked.

“Well haven’t we all?” Jake added.

They were silent for a few moments as they ate. “We had a lot of near misses, didn’t we?” Amy asked.

Jake looked up at her. He was sure the same thought was rolling around in her head as it was in his. What would have happened if Gina had let Amy talk to Jake or if Jake hadn’t chickened out and actually seen her? Would a decade have gone by with no contact? Likely not. Jake blew out a breath. “Yeah, I guess we did.”

Amy had the movie all queued up and beers ready to drink when her phone rang. She looked down to see her brother, Marco’s face smiling up at her. Wondering why her brother would be calling her, she actually answered. “Hey, Marco! How’s it going?”

“Good!” he said happily. “I have a question. Do you still hate your job?”

Amy was confused. “I mean, I like teaching history, I just don’t like where I’m teaching. But yes, I would say I’m relatively still unhappy with it. Why?”

“Because I’m going to change your life!” He exclaimed.

Amy laughed. “How so?” There was a knock at the door, signaling Jake’s arrival. Amy opened the door with a smile, pointing at the phone to her ear. Jake nodded, holding his finger in front of his mouth.

“Well,” her brother continued, “I was taking your lovely niece to school yesterday when I met the dean of the school, one Dr. Wilson. He and I were talking and he heard Santiago and asked if I was related to you. I said I was. So he asked how his prized mentee was. I told him you were massively unhappy at your job and he told me to tell you that if you ever planned to relocate to D.C. that he would have a job waiting for you! Boom!”

Amy was confused. “How does this help?”

“Amy, you’d have an awesome job waiting for you here.”

“But I live in New York,” Amy reminded him.

“Well, yeah, but you could move. I mean, it’s not like there’s anything keeping you there,” Marco argued. Amy felt her breath hitch. She looked over at Jake opening up one of the beers she’d put out. He smiled at her when he caught her gaze. She couldn’t ignore the butterflies she felt just from that little smile.

“I mean, yeah, I do,” Amy retorted, turning away from Jake.

“Kylie’s there, but you guys have lived in separate cities before and you’re still friends. You should take this opportunity, Amy,” Marco urged her.

Amy shook her head. “I’ll think about it.”

“Amy, don’t be stupid,” Marco said, annoyance in his voice. “Don’t be unhappy if you don’t have to be. Just come to D.C. At least meet with him. Maybe a move is what you need.”

Amy was pretty sure that a move was the last thing she needed. And one of the things at the top of the list that she did need was sitting on her couch. Amy closed her eyes and sighed. “I just need to think about it, okay?”

“Fine. But don’t take too long,” Marco replied.

Amy rushed him off the phone. She couldn’t argue with her brother that she needed a new job, but she didn’t think one in D.C. was the way to go. Jake jumped up when he heard her say goodbye. He walked toward the kitchen where she was standing. “You okay?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.

Amy nodded. “Yeah, just a lovely conversation with my brother.”

“What’s up?”

Amy debated whether telling Jake was the right thing to do. She knew it would hurt if he told her to go for it. “Um, he thinks he found me a new job.”

“A new job? That’s great,” Jake said excitedly. “You hate yours so good for him for finding you a new one.”

Amy smiled sadly. “Yeah, the only problem is that the job is out of New York.”

Jake’s brow furrowed. “How far out of New York?”

“Washington D.C.”

Jake did a double take. “Really?” He swallowed harshly. “Are you thinking about it?”

Amy shrugged. “I don’t know. He kinda sprung it on me. He’s right though, I do need a new job.”

“Yeah, but do you really want to move?” Jake asked, a weird tone to his voice.

“I don’t know. No,” Amy said, flustered. “But his reasoning is that I have nothing keeping me here.”

Jake’s face hardened some. “Is that what you think?” He stepped closer to her. “Do you really think you have nothing here?”

Amy sighed. “I-I don’t know.”

Jake looked pained as he took another step closer to her. “Amy, please don’t take that job. Please. I just got you back. I really don’t want to lose you again.”

Amy smiled sadly at him. “Jake, with all the social media there is now, you won’t lose me. We can still be friends.”

Jake reached out, cupping the sides of her face with his hands. He looked down at her intensely. “That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant.”

Amy let her hands find his waist. “What are you doing?”

Jake looked at her lips before looking back up at her. “Hopefully giving you a reason to stay.” With that, he closed the distance between them, kissing her softly. Amy was stunned, but responded quickly, moving her hands around his back. They stood there in her kitchen, kissing slowly, languidly, reacquainting themselves to each other.

Jake’s hands moved from her face, slowly wrapping her in closer to him. Amy reached up, running her hand through the hair at Jake’s neck. She felt his tongue brush against her lip and she opened her mouth, letting him deepen their kiss.

Amy lost track of how long they stood there kissing, their hands starting to roam to the same places they used to. Slowly, Jake walked her back until she felt the cabinet stop her. He broke apart, looking down at her, an impossibly wide smile on his face. Amy’s smile matched his as she brought his head down to kiss him again. She felt Jake crowd her space against the cabinets as his hands wound into her hair. Though their kisses had started out slow, they were turning passionate and desperate.

They broke apart slowly as they came up for air. Amy let her hands linger on Jake’s chest as she stared back at him. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “So, um, do you want to watch the movie?” Amy asked awkwardly while panting.

Jake smirked. “Yeah, maybe we should.” He leaned in quickly and kissed her again, leaning his forehead against hers as he pulled back.

They made their way over to her couch, sitting considerably closer than they would have originally. Amy was curled into Jake side and as the movie started, he planted a small kiss on her head. She looked over at him and smiled. “Was it obvious?” Jake looked confused. “That I felt this way again?”

Jake grinned. “Not at all. I was just hoping you did since I did.”

Amy leaned up and kissed Jake slowly. She broke away with a pleased look on her face. “I do. Have feelings, I mean,” Amy clarified.

Jake stared at her with a huge smile on his face. “Yeah, I do too.” Jake leaned down and kissed Amy gently, slowly. They kept kissing until there was a loud bang in their movie and it startled them apart. Laughing, Amy curled back into Jake’s side as he wrapped his arm around her. They cuddled together on her couch, variating between watching the movie and making out.

At the end of the night, it took Jake a long time to leave Amy’s apartment. He was pressed against her front door as they couldn’t break apart. Amy was making sure Jake’s hair was a mess and his hands found their way under her shirt. It wasn’t until Amy moaned into Jake’s mouth that one of them finally pulled back. Jake looked down at Amy. “I need to go. I want to do this the right way, you know? Not just up against your door.”

Amy laughed. “You may have a point.” She stepped back so Jake had room to open the door.

He was about to walk through the door when he turned back wearing a concerned look. “Listen, about earlier -”

Amy reached up and touched Jake’s face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Jake looked happy then conflicted. “I don’t want to keep you from doing something that you want to do, Ames.”

Amy smiled at Jake’s kindness. “You’re not. Honestly. I just moved back here. I don’t want to move to D.C. The idea of a new job sounds nice, but I can find one here.”

Jake grabbed Amy’s hand. “And you wouldn’t blame me?”

Amy leaned up and kissed Jake hard. She looked at him with a pointed glance. “Not at all. I mean…” she sighed, “This was something that I wanted too.”

Jake smiled, nodding his head. He kissed Amy one more time before he left. “Night, Ames.”

“Night, Jake,” she said softly, finally releasing his hand.

TWO YEARS LATER

Jake and Amy had been dating again and it had been going incredibly well. Charles had been right; they were still just as compatible as before. Amy was happier than she’d been basically ever. At the end of the school year, Amy had resigned and found a new job. As she was applying, she’d found out that Keith Pembroke had been fired as the principal of their old school. The new principal happily took a look at her resume and offered her the open history job. Once she worked at a school where she was happy, everything just fell into place.

Two years had flown by in haze of happiness. She and Rosa were friends again. Gina and Amy were back to their surface level friendship thanks to the group that now included Kylie. And Amy and Jake were living together. Never in all the times she’d imagined seeing Jake again had she ever expected that they might get together and be happier than before. And yet, they were.

Amy was sitting with Kylie at Shaw’s while Jake was over playing pool. “So when are you guys going to get married?” Kylie asked her.

Amy looked over at Kylie, shocked. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Well you’ve been dating for two years. In your thirties. And you already dated before and you know basically everything about each other,” Kylie pointed out. “I just wondered when that was going to happen.”

Amy stared at her drink. “I guess I haven’t thought too much about it.”

“Well do you want to marry Jake?” Kylie asked.

Amy looked past Kylie to where Jake was standing. He was laughing at someone’s joke when he caught her looking at him. He smiled widely at her. She smiled and waved back. “Yeah,” Amy said softly. “I do.”

Kylie looked at Amy with an excited expression. “Oh my God, this is awesome.”

Amy groaned into her beer. “No it’s not.”

Kylie looked confused. “Why? That was a fast turn around.”

“Because I realized that Jake probably isn’t going to propose to me,” Amy said as she sulked. She looked back at her friend. “Jake’s already proposed to me once and I turned him down.”

“That was in high school.”

“Yeah, but Charles claims that the reason Jake didn’t ever propose to his other girlfriend was because I messed him up for that,” Amy explained.

“So why don’t you just do it?” Kylie asked. “You know he loves you. Just do it.”

Amy looked at Kylie with wide eyes. “Oh my God, Kylie, I should just do it!”

“That’s what I just said.”

“I know. And that’s brilliant,” Amy cried. She looked over at Jake with a mischievous look in her eye. “Boy’s not going to know what hit him.”

“Ames, do you really expect me to care about our high school’s football team?” Jake asked as he wandered through the halls of their old school with Amy. “I mean I know you work here, but the only time I ever cared about the football team was when Charles briefly played kicker.”

“Ugh,” Amy groaned, “And then he called himself an “ath-a-lete” for months.”

“Yeah, that was not great,” Jake agreed. “But anyway, what are we doing here?”

Amy took Jake’s hand to steer him away from the hall to the stadium. “I just thought we could take a walk down memory lane.”

Jake grinned as he looked over at Amy. “You sap,” he joked. Amy smiled, squeezing his hand in hers. “Are you really just taking me to your classroom to fulfill a high school fantasy of hooking up at school?”

Amy looked at him with a disgusted expression on her face. “That was your thing, not mine. And in no way, will we ever do anything inappropriate in my classroom.” Jake gave her a knowing look. “Because then I’d have to teach in there knowing what we did.”

“There it is,” Jake laughed.

Amy stopped in front of the closed door to the library. “Oh look, it’s the library.”

“Ahh, yes, where you spent countless hours kicking all of our asses at school,” Jake mused.

Amy smirked. “Damn straight.” She looked at Jake with a sweet smile. “We should go in.” Jake shrugged and waved her onward.

She opened the door and dragged him in, the lights all off except for fairy lights strung throughout the room. “Whoa, this...looks different. It’s kinda nice,” Jake said softly, adopting a lower voice for the library.

Amy wandered through the rows of books, hoping she wasn’t being too obvious. Jake just walked right along with her, making comments about memories from when they used the library. Amy tried her best not to pick up her speed when she saw the place she’d picked out to pop the question. Soon enough without her picking up the pace, they approached the table.

“Aww,” Amy started, “Look, it’s the table.”

“The table?” Jake asked.

Amy nodded. She pushed Jake to stand right next to where he was sitting when he asked her out for the first time. She moved back and stood next to where she had been sitting too. “I was right here in this chair and you were right there when you asked me to Homecoming,” she reminded him.

Jake smiled at the memory. “And you asked me if Gina made me ask you as a joke.”

Amy laughed. “I did. And then you denied that you were even asking me.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “I was not the smoothest.”

Amy smiled. “I think you did just fine.” Jake grinned at her. “It’s where it all started,” Amy mused. Hoping her nerves (or emotions) wouldn’t get the best of her, Amy bent down onto one knee. “And that’s why I thought it was a good place for this.”

Jake stared down at her, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. “Are you -”

Amy nodded confidently. Jake shook his head and grinned broadly. “Jake Peralta, you are the love of my life. And all I really want is to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Amy swore she saw tears swimming in his eyes. A sly smirk crossed Jake’s face. “No. I want to break up,” he said, unable to hold back a few chuckles.

“Are you kidding me?” Amy whined.

Jake grabbed her hands, pulling her to stand with him. “Of course I am. And of course I will marry you.” He wrapped one arm around Amy, pulling her in to kiss her. Amy laid her hands on Jake’s neck, happily kissing her new fiance.

Amy pulled back eventually. “I don’t have a ring,” she admitted. “I didn’t really know how this was going to work, you know, rings and such.”

Jake smiled. “That’s okay,” he assured her. He fished in his pocket for something. Pulling out a small box he said, “I have one though.”

Amy looked back and forth between him and the box several times. “Seriously?” Amy already had tears brimming in her eyes but they began to fall.

“I was actually going to propose to you at some point. I wasn’t scarred by the last time like everyone seems to think,” Jake assured her. “I was just trying to find the right moment. And then you beat me to it,” he joked.

Amy smiled at him brightly. “I just figured it was my turn,” she said, wiping her tears away. Jake laughed, opening the ring box to reveal a beautiful and perfect ring.

“Amy Santiago, will you marry me?” Jake asked, grinning.

“I think you know the answer.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to say it,” Jake said through a grimace.

Amy laughed, leaning forward to kiss Jake. “I would love nothing more than to marry you.” Jake smiled brilliantly, surging forward to kiss her quickly before he slid the ring on her finger.

After kissing a few more times, appreciating the moment between them, Jake and Amy left the library walking hand in hand through the halls where they’d first fell in love.

Posted on AO3 as well!

#holy crap this is so long #and i kinda poured my heart into this one #legit started plotting this like in march or february and only wrote it now #ahhhh #but it's here #enjoy #my writing #b99 fanfiction #b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake x amy #peraltiago

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wannabanauthor · 7 years

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Seven Shades of Shit Book Review with Caitlyn Lynch: Chapter 6 Part 1

Hello everybody, and once again I’m reviewing Cassandra Dee’s Seven Brothers of Sin. It’s a horrible book so far, and I expect Chapter 6 to answer the question “Can this get any worse?”

Don’t forget to check out the lovely @caitlynlynch review as well! She is my partner in suffering at the moment. Her review will be linked here!

Here is the link to the masterpost.

Now onto the horror show…wait, I need some chocolate pie before I attempt to read this garbage.

This chapter is from Macy’s POV, and apparently she needs to recap everything.

I’m going to caption this as “Last Time on Seven Brothers of Sin…”

They’re probably drugging you, Macy. You should stay away from them. They’re weird as fuck.

This is a classic example of Plot Convenience, and it’s asking the readers for an unusually high Suspension of Disbelief threshold.

I’ve read taboo/pseudo-incest erotica that didn’t sound this creepy. You think I might be exaggerating, but I’m not. This author’s writing really is that bad.

I’d like to remind you of Caitlyn’s first chapter review where she mentions the possible child molestation that took place when the Morgan’s brothers played doctor with Macy 10 years ago when she was 8 years old.

I’d like to also reiterate that the taboo erotica I’ve read never ever mentions a sexual or romantic relationship/interest between the man and the woman before she was of legal age. Think about that for a moment. Erotica centering on step-family members fucking each other has better morals then a non-taboo erotic book. How’s that for a comparison?

Unless you’re actually a diagnosed sex-addict, you are not addicted to your vibrator. A lot of teenage girls masturbate, look at porn, and read romance novels. However, that should not be mentioned or referred to in this book since she was underage at the time it happened. If anything, the author could have focused on her playing with herself and everything when she was at college.

Bitch, Smith just touched you down there. You have six guys panting over you, and I guarantee you that men do not care about “how much flesh” is down there. They just want to fuck you. If that means they got to spread their fingers apart a little wider to pave the way, they don’t give a fuck. Pussy is pussy.

When did Macy make out with them? I don’t remember any kissing. You can’t be a slut without having sex. If you’re using a vibrator internally, then your hymen is not intact. One time I wrote a virgin character, and in order for her have a hymen, I made sure to mention that she didn’t finger herself or use tampons. But I’m just extra like that.

And when was Matt’s tongue on you? Continuity errors or I was just that drunk?

People have hang ups over food? No shit, Sherlock. Have you seen how the media pushes fatphobia to the point where parents will starve their growing kids just so they can be thin? Vegans care about animal rights and the negative effects of eating meat on the environment. Noble goal when they aren’t being classist, racist, fatphobic, and a whole bunch of other shit. Other people have dietary restrictions. Some just want to live a healthy lifestyle, and others have eating disorders. Fuck you for shitting on anyone’s diet and being dismissive about the real reasons behind it.

I’m sitting here trying to collect my thoughts to respond to this false rhetoric calmly, but fuck that. I give zero fucks anymore.

Macy, you’re not dumb or insignificant for taking pleasure in small things. You are dumb for a whole other list of reasons that I don’t care to get into right now. Feminists want equality, especially for women who like to do traditional “feminine” things. They want it to be a choice, not a requirement.

Macy, I’m going to stop you right there at “big careers”. Even my sorority sisters who are working for TV channels, our alma mater, famous companies, and or in government don’t have big and glamourous careers yet. Only the older ones who graduated a decade ago come close to that. If it makes you feel better, I don’t you being a tax expert, lawyer, or grad student. Your stupidity would cause someone to be audited, thrown in jail, pay a huge fine, or take up a valuable spot in a graduate program.

White privilege is calling your parents by their first name and not getting knocked the fuck out.

While I could go on a rant about her white privilege, I could also use this time to point out how utterly stupid she is. Does she think that everyone working a cubicle job wants to be there? No, a lot of them have bills to pay, so they do it anyway. A lot of them are also smart and work on their passion in their free time so that they can build up enough experience to eventually transition into doing their passion as a full-time job.

But then again, white privilege plays into this. It doesn’t even occur to her that she can do both. Every person of color is taught from birth that they need to have a side hustle for extra money or as a backup plan. I am one of the rare fortunate ones that has a day job that I love, and I get to be an independent author in my spare time. I am living proof that you can do both. My black coworkers at my current and former job all have businesses or side hustles. One of my former coworkers has a full-time job and ten companies that she runs.

Of course, Macy is too stupid to figure this out because she thinks she deserves to have everything fall into her lap at her convenience while the rest of us work our asses off so that we can survive and do what we love.

You’re going to be a fucking awful chef and cookbook author if that’s the case. Creating recipes requires equations, problem solving, presentations, and effective communication. And the kitchens in America are notorious for the verbal abuse that the cooking staff face. Even when I took a cooking class, the professor was blunt but honest. You don’t have the buoys to work in a kitchen. It’s not all fairy dust and daydreams.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She wants to self-publish, but she can’t problem solve or make presentations? Oh man, that is a disaster waiting to happen. Self-publishing is not easy. Anyone can write a book and publish it, but in order to be successful you have to research and study your ass off to actually sell your books. If they don’t sell, you have to analyze the situation and problem solve for a solution.

Keep this dumb bitch away from the kitchen. The following information took me five seconds to find:

Don’t use runny cheese on pizza, you fuckwit!

Is the virgin slut slut-shaming other women? Who would want the perfect resume? Who would want to drink and sleep around? She must be new here because that’s exactly what people tend to do to relieve stress.

You just made soggy pizza, you dipshit, so your comparison is correct. You’re not going to know what you’re doing, and you’re going to fuck it all up.

While her mom is right about the education and job part, she is also a humongous snobby privileged white bitch who just insulted every single cook and chef in existence. Well, if the bitch hates people who cook so much, she should just stop eating and save them the time.

Head, meet desk, please. Repeatedly.

Oh honey, you think you’ll start out at a high-class restaurant? You can’t do math, problem solve, or take criticism. All it takes is for one uppity rich white woman to complain about your food, and you’ll be fired for your incompetency. Well, after you finish crying your eyes out in front of everyone.

Macy, everyone knows what rushing is. I’ve been on the sorority side of it, and trust me, it’s a learning experience. You learn how to conduct two-way interviews, evaluate candidates, sell people an experience, and you end up networking with some of the women. If your dream is to be a celebrity chef, joining a sorority is the way to go. Once you pay your dues, you get instant access to thousands of women in every industry imaginable. You get an entire network of women willing to help you just because you joined an organization. Make fun all you want, but rushing is essentially convincing hundreds of young women to spend thousands of dollars per semester on an experience that has lifelong benefits. Sounds like the thing you need to do what you want to do.

I’m with Martha on this one.

You are as dumb as people think. You can go to culinary school after you graduate from college and get a job. Trade schools usually have a few class you can take during outside of 9-5.

You really are fucking clueless if you want a baby at eighteen even though you have no desire to go get a degree or get a monotonous job that pays the bills.

And where did this desire for a baby come from? You know what’s even harder than a college education and a boring job? A baby!

Sorry to burst your bubble, but breastfeeding can be very painful and frustrating. It’s one of those things they don’t usually tell women until after they’ve given birth. Or at least that’s what they do in the States. If you don’t believe me, go look at Chrissy Tiegen’s tweet after she gave birth when she said “they didn’t tell me that I’d be going home in a diaper too”.

Breastfeeding can be so difficult that lactation consultants exist. Sometimes the babies just don’t latch or just don’t want a nipple. My friend had trouble breastfeeding her first kid, but her second kid was a natural with breastfeeding. Then there’s the leaking milk, pumping milk, not producing enough milk. You need to study all this stuff before you have a kid.

Don’t kid yourself. You’re not smart enough to become a CEO.

This is exactly why you shouldn’t have a fucking baby! Even Domo Wilson waited until she was financially stable to get inseminated, and she had been wanting a child since she was a kid herself. She talked herself out of intentionally becoming a teen mom because she wanted to wait until she could actually provide for the child. She’s a lesbian too, so she had to pay some serious money for the entire insemination process.

You don’t know jack shit about any of those things, so you’re already off to a bad start.

(Tumblr is refusing to post all the photos, so this is a two-parter)

#seven shades of shit #book review with caitlyn lynch #seven brothers of sin #cassandra dee #the book from hell

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justtuesdays · 2 years

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meet the bombshells: interview

thanks again everyone for all your comments and support (and love, always love). the only way to cope this season is to shower our mc’s with some fun-loving group of bombshells. so I made three and then made another three. so if you’re looking for ig, marco & tandy’s interview or confessions look here. otherwise, here’s lambda, yosi & roma’s interview. feel free to send ask for any of the six!

✖️so the audience’s met the first set of bombshells, and wow! but look at you three— my days! so, tell us all, a bit about yourselves.

R: (smirks) "Requirements did say, hot— I'm Ro, short for Roma. Twenty-nine. Bi. Race-car mechanic. And yes, I do ride...in all the senses."

L: (snorts) "I guess we're coming in guns blazing (Roma shrugs, Yosi smiles) The name's Lambda, my brother the math nerd got to name me. (Yosi turns piqued with interest) Are you a nerd too, Yosi? Intelligence is sexy. (Yosi blushes) We'll get back to that later— (Roma nods) Twenty-seven, demi and professional gamer."

Y: "Professional gamer? Is that all? It felt like there was more. (Lambda winks) Right...I'm Yosiah Hamdy. It's either Yosi or Hamdy, twenty-five, figuring things out— um and, vet."

✖️ what are your types?

L: (cuts Roma off, sends them a smile) "Dr. Hamdy, huh? I like it! It’s about time we had a few people who could hold intellectual conversations. (Producers gesture for her to move on) What? That’s the best way to segue into— my type are people I can hold both intellectual conversation just like idiotic ones. Someone who enjoys a good laugh and a good meal…someone… who…doesn’t think my career is a joke—”

Y: (offers Lamba a one-sided hug, Lambda leans into him) “You’re awesome and no one else’s opinions should matter, but most times they do. It’s the human condition. (He shrugs) My type…a decent human being.” (Roma and Lambda chuckle, Yosi smiles)

R: “Ditto on that one, Doc. If only there were more than a handful. (shakes their head) My type…someone who can keep up, who’s interesting and if they want an actual relationship…(Lambda snorts, Yosi raises a brow) someone who isn’t scared to call bull-shit.”

✖️looks or personality?

L: “And what I’m getting is that no one’s ever done that. (Roma smirks) Where exactly did you say you were from? (Roma answers) Ahh…well I’ll happily take the bull-shit caller role until someone steps up. And, personality for me.”

R: “Definitely personality for me, but looks doesn’t hurt anyone right?“

Y: “That depends on your expectations. (Roma replies) I suppose not having expectation could work, theoretically. But, I’m gonna go with personality too.” (Lambda high-fives him)

✖️turn-on and turn-offs?

R: (holds out their fingers) “Turn-ons: nice hair, nice lips and knows what they’re doing. Turn-offs: a liar, tries to mansplain cars to me, generally mansplains shit and clingy.”

L: “Here I thought you liked them clingy. (Lambda giggles, Roma smiles) Hmm, I actually have to give the turn-on a good think. Turn-offs: doesn’t take my career choices seriously, can’t take an L, overbearing— (Yosi stares quizzically) Look, there’s little I can do when it comes to avoiding bruises, it’s the nature of roller derby. (Roma smirks, Lambda continues) Turn-ons: somewhat of a homebody, supportive, can cook…god knows I’m lazy and take-out is only good for so long. Doesn’t mind playing nurse once in a while. And…that’s it I guess, wait, nice eyes.”

Y: “Roller derby, what you’re a Jammer, then? (Lambda beams) My sisters a big fans of derby, maybe I’ve seen you play. Anyways, it’s not a long list for either. Turn-offs: hates animals, condescending, and chews with their mouths open. (Lambda cracks a cow joke, and burst out laughing, Yosi smiles) Turn-ons: has a great sense of humor, gets along with my family, doesn’t mind the quiet days and loves animals.”

✖️worst dates?

R: (Lambda nudges them) “I’m starting to think you are enjoying this, Lambda. (Lambda sticks her tongue out, Roma pretends to grab it) Ok, most people know this one, so I won’t be surprised if I come back to Twitter sleuths. I once went out on a date where my partner thought to surprise me with their cooking. Great cook. But bloody awful memory that one. I’ve told them time and time again that I was allergic to mushrooms and sure not twenty minutes into our food, I’m lying on the ground unable to breathe and they’re panicking. If you’re gonna go ahead and attempt to kill me at least help them out with their epi-pen.”

Y: (He cringes) “Yikes. If something like that happens here, I can help you with the application. Hopefully, it doesn’t. (Roma pounds him) Does it count if it happened before the date? (Lambda and Roma nod) So, my date offered to pick me up from the field, and they got their a lot earlier then expected. I was helping deliver colts, and they vomited.”

L: “Noo! They didn’t. (Yosi nods) How do you even go on your date after that? (Yosi answers) At least you didn’t have to go to lunch with vomit-breath. My worst date would be at the arcade. (Roma asks why) They thought I’d enjoy some competition. But, I got the satisfaction of winning and watching him storm away like a kid. Fragile masculinity. What can you do?”

✖️biggest romantic gesture?

Y: (rubs the back of his neck) “I got them a puppy.”

R: “Now, that’s sweet, Yosi. You’re a big softie aren’t ya? (Yosi blushes) Someone once filled my car with flowers.”

L: (She laughs) “I think they mean your biggest romantic gesture, Ro. (Roma shrugs) I was seeing this girl in a band once, and I liked their music so I used their music for one of my videos.”

✖️have you ever cheated or been cheated on?

L: “Never. And, yes I’ve been cheated on.”

Y: (mildly upset) “That’s shitty of them. (Lambda offers a weak smile) I don’t cheat. And as far as I know, I haven’t been cheated on.”

R: “Yes and yes. (Yosi and Lambda look on curiously) I came clean to them and then broke up. Apparently, being on-and-off all the time we kept losing track of when we were even together so a lot of what we did was cheating. It wasn’t really serious, but man did that f*** me up.”

✖️would you guys take back an ex?

R: “No.” (Producers ask them to elaborate, Roma doesn’t budge)

Y: “Um, I think so. It would depend on the situation we broke up in.”

L: “I couldn’t. No matter the situation. I hold grudges for a while and I’d hate to be the one to bring old shit back up.”

that was enlightening! glad you guys aren’t the ones in the villa with the ex. next time, we’ll have these guys answering your beach hut questions. until then, keep on sending those asks.

#litg5 #litg bombshells #oc bombshells #oc: roma valdez #oc: yosiah hamdy #oc: lambda rojas #meet the bombshells #interview #send in your asks #they'll be answered #tuesdays: ocs

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havekiddoswilltravel · 4 years

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Social Distancing Survival Tips from a Homeschooling Mom

Homeschool resources for families affected by the COVID-19 school closings.

Scroll down to the bottom of this post for a list of resources by subject.

Do not be afraid. Do not fear. This too shall pass.

I know that the thought of a minimum of 14 days of social isolation and no outside activities with your kids can be anxiety provoking. However this is an opportunity as parents and role models to be an example to our youth on how to be still. Children are always watching, and they take cues from our reactions and behavior. If we’re in a panic and constantly talking about Covid-19 with other adults with a doomsday mentally, you may be contributing to unnecessary anxiety and fear in your children. Please have a filter and think about how what you say impacts your children. They are watching you and your behavior will have a lasting impact on your child(ren)’s mental health. An attitude of hope and love will be as contagious as one of fear and hopelessness. Which one do you want to permeate your home? Don’t try to do school at home! What I mean by that is that your child’s entire routine has been disrupted by something unknown (Covid-19) and scary. If you try to simply replicate their school environment at home, it may completely backfire on you. Allow your child to learn organically for the next few weeks in the safety of his or her home environment. Read to them, read with them and have them read to you. You will be just fine.

Unfortunately, this is not a vacation from school. This is not the time to schedule play dates, have sleepovers or even hit the local museums. It’s time to get creative and figure out ways to be content in stillness.

Routine and schedule are critical:

Additional resource regarding the importance of a schedule: https://nesca-newton.com/making-the-most-of-covid-19-school-closures/

Homeschooling and social isolation does not mean a free for all. Kids do best with a schedule or routine. Do yourself a favor and immediately set up a routine or flow to your home. Unless you want to have to be at the grocery store daily (defeating the purpose of social distancing), make sure that you set up a general eating schedule. We use this one in our home.

- Breakfast

- Morning snack

- Lunch

- Afternoon snack

- Dinner

- Bedtime Snack (always a fruit or veggie)

Other than this schedule, the kitchen is closed unless we are cooking as part of our learning. Anxiety and stress create a tendency to overeat and constantly snack.

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A post shared by Ruth - Have Kiddos Will Travel (@havekiddoswilltravel) on Sep 5, 2019 at 2:22pm PDT

instagram

Take a virtual tour of our National Parks.

Read aloud as a family:

Social distancing is a perfect opportunity to snuggle together and read as a family. Just grab your favorite book, your kids and a blanket. You can also have older children read to your children. This is a great way for them to bond and also for you to assess their reading and comprehension.

20 Foreign Films to Watch with Kids

Interview an elder for your family’s oral history:

Have a dance party:

Yes, I said that. Music is good for the soul. Have your kids put together their favorite play list. Decorate your living room, take out the disco ball (if you have one) and dance until your sweaty. Don’t worry about looking or feeling silly. Put down your cell phone and join the kids on the dance floor. Trust me, you’ll feel so much better.

Write letters or make cards for those home bound and elderly:

The elderly and those with preexisting conditions are the most at risk during the outbreak. Take out your craft supplies and have the kids make cards to mail to elderly family members and friends. Though you many want to make some for nursing home facilities, they will NOT distribute them at this time as the virus can live on surfaces for three days.

15 Broadway Plays and Musicals You Can Watch On Stage From Home

New York’s Metropolitan Opera announced that it would be taking some of its offerings virtual, kicking things off this week with daily free streamings of its Live in HD series.

Non screen activities:

Giant list of ideas of things to do with kids at home:

Look for themes and opportunities to celebrate unique days:

March 13

- National Earmuff Day

March 14

- National Learn About Butterflies Days

- National Pi Day

- National Potato Chip Day

- National Write Down Your Story Day

March 15

- National Everything You Think is Wrong Day

March 16

- National Panda Day

March 17

- National Corned Beef and Cabbage Day

- St. Patrick’s Day

March 18

- National Sloppy Joe Day

March 19

- National Chocolate Caramel Day

- National Let’s Laugh Day

- Spring begins

March 20

- National Ravioli Day

March 21

- National French Bread Day

- National Corn Dog Day

- National Quilting Day

March 22

- National Goof Off Day

This is just a sample of the many National Days that you could have the kids celebrate at home. Check out www.nationaldaycalendar.com for a full listing.

Free Digital Classes for Homeschooling

Study poetry:

Poetry Foundation

Engage in virtual fieldtrips:

Stuck at home? Visit a virtual museum!

Smithsonian has virtual educational resources for students and teachers to use at school and at home?

Explore African American History and Culture or create your own lesson using @SmithsonianLab today.

https://learninglab.si.edu/org/nmaahc

This is a great article by Travel and Leisure with a load of museums offering virtual field trips.

Additional Resources:

Art

The Art Sherpa

27 Art Lessons to try at home

Science:

Ask Alexa – please play Wow in the World

Wow in the World

Education.com

Music Composition:

Noteflight

BrainPop and Brainpop Jr. Currently free during Coronavirus social distancing.

Geography:

Stack the States

Stack the Countries

National Geographic Kids

Civics

Icivics

Cooking:

Coding:

Scratch

Code.org

Foreign languages:

Duolingo

History:

History for Kids

Math:

Mangahigh

PE:

Teachers and friends dealing with school closures: We are giving parents FREE unlimited access to our Fluency & Fitness® website to use with their child at home during these next few weeks. Now they can keep their child learning and help burn off that extra energy, so parents can keep their sanity. 😉 There are over 900 videos to review 60+ literacy and math topics for K-2nd. Feel free to share this link with your classroom families, friends, and anyone who may find this helpful.

https://fluencyandfitness.com/register/school-closures/

Reading:

Learning A-Z free through June 2020.

Raz-Kids is a digital resource that provides a library of differentiated books students can use to practice reading wherever they are (Internet connection required).

Headsprout is an online K–5 reading program that adapts to the needs of the individual student. It is self-paced, which makes it ideal for at-home practice.

Life skills:

Social distancing provides a perfect opportunity to teach your children some basic life skills. Check out this article with some great ideas.

TED-ED

This document contains a list of TED-ED videos by topic.

Choose joy. Choose love. Choose hope.

Social distancing is manageable. Let’s work together to provide each other with resources and ideas to make us all be the best parents possible. This list will continue to grow, so check back often. Let’s encourage and support one another during these trying times.

Peace and love!

#havekiddoswilltravel #homeschool #explore #teachingkids #socialdistancing #schoolclosings #teded #teachingresources #homeschoolresources #covid19

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vonseal · 7 years

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as the leader

As the leader, Jinwoo knew it was his responsibility to quiet everyone down. But he'd let it continue. Just for a while longer.

alternatively, some gold ol jinwoo and rocky friendship

As the leader of five very energetic young idols, life was, in short, tiring.

Jinwoo loved every single second of it, most definitely. He loved each and every one of the boys he watched over and took care of and sacrificed his own time and effort for. He would do anything on the face of the earth to watch them succeed in life.

But it was tiring.

In the mornings, typically, he would listen to Dongmin ramble and talk and, sometimes, complain. “I don't know why Binnie just can't wake up, Hyung. I mean, I set at least twelve alarms, two hours earlier than he needed-”

“We heard,” Myungjun would bitterly cut in.

Dongmin continued as if he hadn't just been interrupted. “-and I shook him multiple times while I was getting myself ready, and he just doesn't wake up properly. I'm beginning to wonder if he needs to see a doctor, or if-”

“I can take care of it,” Jinwoo would comfort, and he'd pat Dongmin's back, adding on, “Just worry about yourself for right now, Dongmin, okay? I'm the leader. I can take care of it.”

Taking care of it usually involved pouring freezing cold water on top of Bin. And, sure, Bin was pissed for at least half the day, but it was better than being late for important interviews or photoshoots or what have you.

Because, at the end of the day, Jinwoo would be blamed for their tardiness. And while he would readily accept and understand that it was his fault for not ensuring everyone was up in a timely manner, he couldn't help but feel a little tired over it all.

(Bin always apologized later, and Jinwoo readily accepted, and just like that they were friends again.)

Sometimes in the evening, Jinwoo would have to deal with Myungjun.

Myungjun, and his bright cheeriness and his ability to bring the rest of the group together with a well-timed laugh and a loud, happy voice; and, yet, after a long, grueling day of work and activities and vocal training, he was wiped. He would become a little short and a little grumpy, and the rest of the group knew better than to speak with him.

And thus it became Jinwoo's responsibility.

“Myungjun-hyung, we're going to go through it once more-”

“I'll throw myself off the top of the building if I have to get up, Park Jinwoo.”

Full-name basis typically meant Myungjun was a little more peeved than the norm. Jinwoo would have to fall silent then, rifling through his practice bag to pull out a granola bar of some sorts, maybe sometimes a juice box. He would hold it out quietly, and the rest of the group would watch with baited breath as Myungjun contemplated his next move.

He only refused it once, but in that one moment of refusal, he had burst into tears and had denied any form of conversation until an apology later in the evening. Only Jinwoo knew what it was about, and Jinwoo kept it to himself. The others, so they said, hated the empty feeling that would settle in their chests upon seeing Myungjun cry.

Fortunately, he almost always accepted the snack, and after he gobbled everything down, he was back up and teasing Dongmin or messing with Sanha, and Jinwoo's heart could stop hammering in its chest for the close encounter of a breakdown.

Crisis averted, he would congratulate himself.

Night was when Sanha and Minhyuk would set up in the living room with their homework splayed out in front of them. Originally, Dongmin had helped with that, but after Dongmin's schedule filled up, he was no longer home to offer his own assistance.

As the leader, once again, Jinwoo took over.

He had to be honest, math was never his best subject. Sanha and Minhyuk were both very intelligent, too, and their homework seemed like a complete mess to Jinwoo's brain.

Usually, Minhyuk dealt with it himself. After Jinwoo messed up a few times, Minhyuk would, once more, erase the wrong number and mumble, “I got it. Thanks anyway, Hyung.”

As the leader, Jinwoo shouldn't hope that Sanha would do the same, but he did regardless, because he was tired and he felt dumb the more he stared at the schoolbooks. However, as the leader, he realized that he had to endure it in order to ensure that the youngest member of the group could stay on track for his classes. Falling behind was not an option, and it was something Jinwoo would be blamed for. And so he sat down until the wee hours of the morning, going over division problems and English work and weird facts about Chinese history.

When Sanha would finally close up his books for the night and give him a large, albeit sleepy, smile, Jinwoo would smile back, and he considered it a job well done.

He would collapse into bed beside Sanha, minding his ridiculously long limbs and weird need to hog most of the covers to himself. He would stare at the bottom bunk and go over everything in his mind that he had done for the day.

And, usually, he realized that someone was missing. He had quelled Dongmin's fears in the morning, dumped water all over Binnie while he was at that, fed Myungjun snacks in order to lift his spirits, and helped Sanha with homework.

Minhyuk, then.

Even if Minhyuk denied his help most of the time, he realized he hadn't really forced Minhyuk to accept any help. Wasn't a leader supposed to force his assistance on his members?

Jinwoo groggily checked his phone. Two in the morning. Just the perfect time to wake Minhyuk up and request what he truly needed.

He rolled over, careful not to bump into Sanha, then peeked up at the top bunk. All he could see was Myungjun.

“Myungjun-hyung,” he whispered. Myungjun's answer was a few lip smacks. Ah, but Myungjun was a light sleeper. Jinwoo could easily get him up. He shoved at the older boy, and Myungjun jerked up.

“Shh,” Jinwoo shushed him. Even in the dark, he could sense Myungjun's irritation. “Hyung, where's Minhyuk?”

“How should I know?” Myungjun asked, flopping back down in bed.

“Hyung-”

“He was here when I went to bed.” Myungjun had already closed his eyes. “Maybe he's peeing.”

And so Jinwoo waited. Ten minutes went by, and Minhyuk still wasn't back. “He's not peeing,” Jinwoo mumbled to himself, and he finally forced himself completely out of his bed. Sanha shifted slightly but didn't move. Myungjun, obviously still awake from his stiff position, stayed perfectly still, as if Jinwoo would shove him again if he so much as twitched.

(Jinwoo would leave him alone for now.)

He tiptoed past the smaller bedroom, where he could hear Bin and Dongmin lightly snoring, and peeked over first into the dark kitchen and living room.

Not a soul.

He bit his lip before glancing over at the bathroom door. It was closed and the light was off, but perhaps it was possible Minhyuk was hiding out in the only private spot in their small dorm.

And, sure enough, when he opened the door, a pair of wide eyes peered back at him, illuminated only from the bright screen of a phone the figure held.

“Minhyuk,” Jinwoo greeted.

“Hyung,” Minhyuk greeted back. His voice was hoarse.

Jinwoo stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Minhyuk's phone was the only light available, and Jinwoo used it in order to find a seat on the edge of their shower.

Minhyuk sat on the closed toilet. He had his legs pulled up close to him and despite the darkness, Jinwoo could make out obvious tear streaks.

He didn't say anything. Minhyuk took a special sort of leader, one who would be quiet and listen to troubles and qualms without prompting it. And, sure enough, after a handful of minutes in the silent darkness, Minhyuk spoke.

“I had a bad dream again.”

Jinwoo was the only one who knew about these bad dreams. As the leader, it was his responsibility to ensure that the members of Astro were doing well mentally as well as physically. They all were, certainly so (Jinwoo would be able to tell if they weren't), but none of them were strangers to nightmares. And Minhyuk, as the so-called rock of the group, had more than his fair share of them that he had initially refused to reveal to anyone.

(Jinwoo had noticed, though, that since he found out about Minhyuk's little nightmare-secret, the bad dreams had dwindled down into once or twice per month, rather than once or twice per week.)

“You guys were all better than me.” Minhyuk sniffed. “Myungjun could sing better, like he always can, Moon Bin could dance better, like he always can, you could rap-”

“We're all making it up as we go along,” Jinwoo responded hurriedly, trying to shut down any negative thoughts before they progressed. “Just like you are. We're going with the punches. Myungjun can definitely sing, but no Astro song would be complete without you supplying a secret background vocal. And Moon Bin can definitely dance, but we added in your spins to choreography for a reason. And I can sort of rap-”

“You're amazing, Hyung. It's not sort of.”

In response to that, Jinwoo rapped. He used his high-pitched voice, the one normally brought out to make Myungjun giggle, and Minhyuk snorted at Jinwoo's antics.

“Stop being dumb. You can rap.”

“Sure. And so can you. But I can't do those three turns.”

“Do you think Fantagio's only keeping me in because I can turn three times?”

“Once you turned four times,” Jinwoo replied. “That was really cool, and that's probably the reason.”

That made Minhyuk laugh, and Jinwoo smiled softly over at his figure. “I'm being an idiot, aren't I, Hyung?”

“Only because you always think you can suffer through this yourself.” Jinwoo stood up and offered Minhyuk his hand. “How about we try sleeping again? And if you have a bad dream, you can kick Sanha awake and get to me. Lord knows it's a blessing I haven't been squished by his gigantic body just yet.”

As the leader, he guessed it was his responsibility to bring about laughter when there was nothing but tears. Minhyuk chuckled again, then dried his face with his hand before reaching out and holding onto Jinwoo. “Thanks,” he murmured. “Don't tell anyone?”

Jinwoo opened the bathroom door and dimmed the light on Minhyuk's phone. “Have I ever?”

Minhyuk didn't need to respond. Instead, he just smiled once again and accepted Jinwoo's help this time.

He made certain Minhyuk was comfortable. Myungjun, still awake, rolled over as far as he could, then laid on some fake snores in order to try to convince the other two of his sleeping status, but Minhyuk just smacked his shoulder. “Shut up, Hyung,” he heard Minhyuk mutter before the younger boy collapsed down into the pillows.

Jinwoo glanced at his clock. Two twenty-three. The perfect time to tell himself nightmare averted and crawl over Sanha to get back to his own spot.

So, sure, when he had to wake up at seven the next morning, it was definitely tiring. But his award was watching the members sit around the small kitchen table, elbows bumping as they scarfed down mankind's quickest breakfast of rice and vegetables, loudly complaining and almost spilling each others' cups of juice. He caught Minhyuk's eye and smirked before mouthing, “Blackmail material.”

Minhyuk just grinned and mimed a finger slicing across his throat.

Bin caught sight of Minhyuk's gesture and smacked the younger boy, loudly scolding him on being rude to their Hyung. Myungjun joined in, despite having no knowledge of what had taken place, and Dongmin accused him of speaking too loudly. Sanha took the opportunity to steal food from everyone's dishes.

(He winked to Jinwoo and gave him an extra portion, so Jinwoo wouldn't complain about thievery.)

As the leader, Jinwoo knew it was his responsibility to quiet everyone down.

But he'd let it continue. Just for a while longer.

(Until Myungjun got the bright idea to pour juice into Bin's rice. Then it was time for the leader in him to pop out. Crisis needs to be averted, so said his thoughts.)

#my fanfic #astro fanfic #astro fanfiction #there's no ship in this #literally i didnt even try to put secret ships in #it's just fun friendly #canon i guess

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goodra-king · 4 years

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Transcript of What’s Podcasting Got To Do With Marketing?

Transcript of What’s Podcasting Got To Do With Marketing? written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of The Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is brought to you by Klaviyo. Klaviyo is a platform that helps growth-focused eCommerce brands drive more sales with super-targeted, highly relevant email, Facebook and Instagram marketing.

John Jantsch: Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch. My guest today is Guy Kawasaki. He’s the Chief Evangelist of Canva, a great online design service, and executive fellow of the Haas School Of Business at the University of Cal Berkeley. And he has the distinction of being on my show for about the sixth time, probably. I think we talked about this last time you were on my show. I think I’m the only podcast or to interview you for both versions of Art of the Start.

Guy Kawasaki: And that and a nickel will buy you… Well, not even a cup of coffee, but yeah.

John Jantsch: So, we’re going to talk about a number of things today. It’s been far too long. Guy’s most recent book is called Wise Guy: Lessons From a Life, so we’re going to touch on that. But I always like to get a little update on Canva, so why don’t we start there? As an evangelist, this is your only job, right, is to talk about it?

Guy Kawasaki: Well, I also have four children, but who’s counting? So, I’m the Chief Evangelist of Canva, and for those of you who may not have heard of Canva, it is an online graphics design service based out of Sydney, Australia. And the essence of Canva is that it has democratized designs that basically anyone can create beautiful designs for social media, posters, business cards, presentations, t-shirts, whatever you want. And I’ll just tell you that, in the month of October, Canva made 139 million images, so we make about four or five million images per day at Canva for people all around the world.

John Jantsch: So, there are dozens of folks that have tried to crack that nut. Why do you suppose Canva was so successful? I mean, there are other online design tools that are been around a long time that haven’t been that successful.

Guy Kawasaki: Well, I think that one of the key decisions was that we decided that we’re going to make every conceivable design type, and within a design type, hundreds of templates. So, what I mean by those two words is that, a design type is a square Instagram image, right? A design type is a 16X9 presentation. A design type is a Kindle book cover. So, when you come to Canva you say, “All right, so I want to create a Pinterest pin. I want to create the Etsy store. I want to create the eBay store cover photo. I want to create the cover photo for my LinkedIn account.” And all of those, we have the optimal dimensions already figured out, and within those design types, we have hundreds of templates. So, you find a template that you like, you upload your own photo or you use one of our stock photos, you change the text, and I promise you, in the time it takes to boot Photoshop, you could finish a design in Canva.

John Jantsch: I totally agree with you. I mean, the ease of just saying… For example, if you’re working with a small business client like we do and they are on six different platforms, and you need a header image for each and all the things, every single one is a little different size, and so it’s just so convenient to just go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So, I know [inaudible 00:04:04].

Guy Kawasaki: I mean, John, I don’t know if you realize this, but even more convenient than going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, we have a feature called Magic Resize. And what Magic Resize says is, “Okay, you did the basic design for one. Now, we will resize this for all the other five platforms.”

John Jantsch: Oh, but I don’t know about that because that’s the $10 a month one, right? I’m not going to pay $10 a month [inaudible 00:04:29].

Guy Kawasaki: Oh, John, you’re killing me, John, bro. Your books are free, right?

John Jantsch: No, that’s awesome. So, are they going to stay true, do you think? Or would there be a temptation to say, “Let’s get into audio and video editing,” and all those kinds of things?

Guy Kawasaki: Well, certainly video because we already do that. Going to 16X9 presentations, we’re trying to make it so that mere mortals can have beautiful PowerPoint-like presentations. I don’t know. We would like it so that every graphic in the world is produced by Canva. We’re not shrinking violence at Canva.

John Jantsch: All right, well I guess you just sold me. I’m going to pony up the 10 bucks a month.

Guy Kawasaki: Okay. We can end this now.

John Jantsch: All right, so this is, what, your 14th, 15th book, Wise Guy?

Guy Kawasaki: Yeah. Wise Guy’s number 15. I truly do think it will be my last, also.

John Jantsch: Yeah? Is that because you’re out of things to say or because you’re tired?

Guy Kawasaki: Well shit, I was out of things to say on my third book, so… Well, it’s partially retired, but switching to the next topic, I am now convinced that podcasting is the new book writing. Because, well, the advantage of podcasting is, well, you can be in front of your audience a minimum of 52 times a year. You can change on a dime. So, next week if John Ives says, “I want to be in your show,” you can put them on, right? Whereas, in your book, it takes a year to write a book, it takes six to nine months to publish it, so let’s say two years, and then, it’s done. It’s laid in concrete, and you’re never going to touch it again unless you fix typos. So, you get that initial burst of, I don’t know, maybe for you, five million people buy your first version. But then, some people read it, but it’s never picked up again. Whereas, a podcast, man, you’re in their face every week. That’s so much better.

John Jantsch: Except for What the Plus! I mean, that one lives on forever.

Guy Kawasaki: Well, What the Plus! may have lasted longer than the service, but I digress.

John Jantsch: I completely agree with you on the pod… I mean, there’s so many… You mentioned an obvious benefit, but I mean, the first time you and I met was through this format and I’d like to at least call you a little bit of a friend. You’ve been a [inaudible] of my career over the years, and I think this is where the introduction happened the first time. And I’ve done that with most people.

Guy Kawasaki: But see, I’m an idiot because it took me… I’m just a late bloomer. I took up hockey at 44. I took up surfing at 61. I took a podcasting is 65. I don’t know why people listen to my advice. I clearly don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

John Jantsch: I don’t even have to ask you questions because you’re just going along my proposed questions here, but I was going to ask you that. Was their resistance or was it just literally a matter of, “I just didn’t get around to it”?

Guy Kawasaki: What, the podcasting? Okay. So, there’s the high road answer, and there’s the low road answer. Which answer do you want?

John Jantsch: I want them both, and we’ll balance them out.

Guy Kawasaki: Okay. So, the high road is, I’m at the end of my career, I’ve made a lot of connections. I’ve made a lot of friends. I can tap into that so that I can interview a Jane Goodall, a Margaret Atwood, a Steve Wozniak, Steve Wolfram, Bob Cialdini. I can get to these people because I’ve been dealing with them for years and years. So, I have this tremendous competitive advantage to interview people that many people could not get unless you’re Terry Gross maybe Malcolm Gladwell. And now, I have a much better filter system because I’m so much older that I, theoretically, have acquired some wisdom, so I can ask them the right questions. So, my time has come to do a podcast featuring remarkable people. That’s the high answer. You want to hear the low answer? Well

John Jantsch: Well, let me let you think about the low answer for a minute. So, your podcast is called Guy Kawasaki’s Remarkable People, and that’s, ultimately, what you’re doing. So, the chances of me actually being a guest are pretty minimal, I think.

Guy Kawasaki: Well, I have a test that if somebody asks to be on the podcast, they’re not remarkable enough.

John Jantsch: Yeah. Fair test. So, let’s have the low answer then.

Guy Kawasaki: So, the low answer is, when I came out with Wise Guy, I was a guest on many podcasts. Okay? So, I got to talking to somebody’s podcast where I say, “So, how often do you do this?” One guy said 52 times a year., Another guy said 156 times a year. And I said, “So, what’s your model?” “Well, it’s advertising and sponsorship.” I say, “Okay, so where does the advertising go?” He says, “Well, there’s one or two ads in the pre-roll, there’s one or two ads in the middle, and there’s one or two ads at the end.” And I said, “Well, how many people listen to these things?” “A quarter million.” “How much do you get per ad?” “Well, the ones in the front get 20 grand, the ones in the middle will get 15 grand, and the ones at the end get 10 grand.” So, I’m sitting there doing the math. So, let’s say there’s six of them and they’re doing like 15,000 bucks each on average, and I say, “So, six times 15 is 90. Ninety times 52 is fricking four and a half million bucks. That’s 10 times bigger than any advance for a book I ever got. What the hell am I writing books for?

Guy Kawasaki: Simultaneously, at 65, I just don’t want to travel anymore. I would just like surf, and so I said, “Okay, so maybe I can make my podcast successful. Basically podcasts and surf. I don’t know if I’ll make four and a half million dollars a year, but if I come…” Well, I don’t even need to come close to that to be happy. So, maybe this is my path to retirement and a better life and more surfing. So, that’s the low answer. I did it for the money.

John Jantsch: I want to remind you that this episode is brought to you by Klaviyo. Klaviyo helps you build meaningful customer relationships by listening and understanding cues from your customers, and this allows you to easily turn that information into valuable marketing messages. There’s powerful segmentation, email auto-responders that are ready to go. Great reporting. You learn a little bit about the secret to building customer relationships. They’ve got a really fun series called Klaviyo’s Beyond Black Friday. It’s a docu-series, a lot of fun. Quick lessons. Just head on over to klaviyo.com/BeyondBF, Beyond Black Friday.

John Jantsch: So, we’re recording this in December of 2019, depending upon when people are listening to this, you’ve launched the show already, your first guest, or at least the first show I was able to see was Jane Goodall. A lot of people know her work for years with the apes in Africa. What’s the basis of your relationship with her and that interview?

Guy Kawasaki: Okay. So, about a little more than a year ago, the person who runs the TEDx in Palo Alto, out of the blue asked me if I want to interview Jane Goodall for her at TEDx. And that’s like, “Well, duh. Of course I want to interview Jane Goodall at TEDx.” So, it actually cost me a lot of money because I turned down a speech. I could’ve got paid speech for the same time. I said, “No, I can always get another paid speech, but how often can you interview Jane Goodall?” So, I interviewed Jane Goodall for TEDx, which is on YouTube if people want to see it, and I really became friends with her. Sometimes you just hit it off with a person. Right? And so, we’ve been communicating and stuff like that, and I communicate with her staff. And [inaudible] Fitzpatrick and I, we always help Jane Goodall when she wants to raise money or make something go out on social media.

Guy Kawasaki: And then, I decided to do this podcast, and I said, “Well, I need a spectacular, remarkable person as the first guest. Who could be,” and you weren’t available, “so, who could be better than Jane Goodall?” And so, she was going to be in San Francisco, I recorded her, and yeah, I mean, life is good. It’s good to be Guy Kawasaki sometimes.

John Jantsch: Yeah. Well, I know what you have a good relationship because I’ve seen pictures of her grooming you.

Guy Kawasaki: Yeah. She’s looking for lice in my head.

John Jantsch: Which, I think, was reminiscent of her work in the jungle, wasn’t it?

Guy Kawasaki: Yes. Yes.

John Jantsch: So, who else is up for the show? Who else do you plan to talk to in the upcoming weeks?

Guy Kawasaki: Yeah. So, Jane Goodall is out, so is Phil Zimbardo. Phil Zimbardo is the Stanford psychology professor who did the Stanford prison experiment where kids simulated being guards and prisoners. Next week is Stephen Wolfram. He is the creator of Mathematica and Wolfram Alpha, the search engine. Got a PhD at 20, MacArthur Award at 21. The next week after that is Margaret Atwood, the author of Handmaid’s Tale. And then, believe it or not, we have Wee Man, Wee Man from Jackass, the MTV series and movie. And then, I have Bob Cialdini, who I’m sure you’re heard up because you’re into sales and marketing like I am, so I have Bob Cialdini.

John Jantsch: He’s been on this show. Yeah.

Guy Kawasaki: Yeah, he’s great. So, basically, that’s the kind of people I have. I mean, they pass the remarkable test.

John Jantsch: Yeah. So, what do you have to learn to do this? This is a different format. This is different technology. This is maybe a different skill. What’s it going to take to get Guy Kawasaki to the Remarkable Podcast host?

Guy Kawasaki: Well, I’ve done a lot of panel moderation and stuff and fireside chats, where I’ve been on both sides, so it’s not like, to use a Jane Goodall analogy, it’s not like I was Tarzan and I got off a ship from Africa and now I’m in London and I have to figure everything out. So, I’ve been to this rodeo, maybe wearing a different hat, but I’ve been to this rodeo. And have you listened to the Jane Goodall one?

John Jantsch: I listened to about half of it. Yeah. In preparation for [inaudible 00:15:22].

Guy Kawasaki: Okay. So, you could see that… Well, one is, to tell you the truth, I believe that the role of the podcast or is to make the guests look great. And I also believe that, if you look at the minutes spent who’s talking, it should be about 90/10, or 90 is Jane and 10 is Guy. And so, that’s something, and a lot of people have said, “I really like your podcast, Guy, because you let Jane talk.” I think a lot of podcasts, it’s all about them, right? They’re just talking and talking and talking, and then, finally, the guest gets to say something and then the podcaster gets back on a riff. So, I don’t step on my guests. Now, honestly, I don’t know how to get subscribers or advertisers, but I figure, if I get all these guests and I produce a great podcast, I’m a big believer in, “If you build it, they will come.”

John Jantsch: Well. I think that’s a lot of it. And you’re also doing the networking. You contacted me to tell me about it, and you contacted a lot of people to tell them about it. I mean, that’s kind of Marketing 101, right?

Guy Kawasaki: Well, nothing is easy, right? Well, if you’re Michelle Obama and you started Michelle Obama Remarkable People Podcast, I’m pretty sure you’ll get 5 million subscribers in the first day, but I’m not Michelle Obama.

John Jantsch: Do you listen to podcasts?

Guy Kawasaki: Yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah. What are some of your favorites?

Guy Kawasaki: I listen to Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History, who I’m trying to get as a guest. I listened to Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! I listen to Freakonomics. I listen to Joe Rogan. I listen to Terry Gross. I’m a big NPR fan, basically.

John Jantsch: Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, you can [inaudible] a lot of those shows have moved to the podcast format, but obviously, there’s still broadcast, as well. Where do you think this is going? The audio… And again, maybe you’re not in the position right now where you want to future cast trends and things because you’re just trying to figure it out to make it work for you, but it seems to me like audio content right now… I mean, podcasts had been around a while, but it seems to me like audio content is really hot and it’s going to get hotter.

Guy Kawasaki: Yes. I think that podcasting is like artificial intelligence. So, artificial intelligence for the last 30 years was going to be the next big thing, right? And finally it is. So, I think we may be there with podcasting. A lot of it is… It’s critical mass. I mean, in a sense, Apple has created a critical mass for podcasting. In the same sense, I think, one of the things I’ve noticed is QR codes, which was supposed to be a big thing, Apple finally made it a real big thing because now when you just put your camera on a QR code, you don’t have to download a QR reader, right? So, all of a sudden, yeah, QR codes makes sense. And I think Apple did the same thing with podcasts, that now that they’ve done so much and they put a podcast player on every iOS device, Apple has created another market.

John Jantsch: Yeah. And I’ve been doing this before, that was the case and that was one of the initial challenges with podcasts. It was hard to show people how to listen.

Guy Kawasaki: Yeah. Yeah.

John Jantsch: Where do you think Spotify fits into this? It seems to me like Spotify is really gaining some traction in the podcast space. Do they take on Apple, or is it just broaden the universe for everyone?

Guy Kawasaki: Hell if I know. I mean, based on two episodes, I don’t consider myself an expert. But Spotify has taken a different position. In a sense, they’re like Netflix, right? So, Netflix just doesn’t share stuff anymore. Netflix has its own series. Right? So, similarly, Amazon Prime, I watch Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime owns Jack Ryan, right? And so, Spotify is trying to create content, not just distribute content, and so they’re supposed be making this huge investment in podcasting. And I guess we’ll look back and say, “Wow, that was a genius move,” or we’ll look back and say, “Well, what a dumbass move.” And I don’t know. If Apple said we’re going to be a content creator… Well, they they do that, right? They created that Morning Show for Apple TV and all that, so I guess we’ll see. I don’t know.

John Jantsch: Yeah. I think that’s the direction a lot of people are going ahead, and I wouldn’t be surprised if, just like you are playing the evangelist role for Canva, I’m wondering when companies like that start bringing in somebody like you to be their podcaster or to be their spokesperson as a podcaster.

Guy Kawasaki: Well, funny you should mentioned that because I’m Chief Evangelist of Canva, and I told Canva, I told you know the other people at Canvas, like, “So, right now you have your Canva social media, the Instagram, Facebook, all that, and you have your email lists, but there’s a limit to how many times you can send an email to someone in your registered user database. And that limit is not 52 times a year.” So, I’m making the case that, if we could get my subscriber base up to a million or so, that is a fricking tremendous weapon. So, if Guy Kawasaki’s Remarkable People has a million subscribers and Guy Kawasaki’s Chief Evangelist of Canva, so at an extreme, the pre-roll, the midway, and the end ads could all be for Canva. So, imagine, 52 times a year you can hit a million people with an ad three times. Oh my God. I mean, life is good.

John Jantsch: Absolutely.

Guy Kawasaki: So, yeah.

John Jantsch: So, I think that’s going to be a role that, I think, you start seeing is that whether they’re media companies or just companies seeing it as another channel, I think are going to start buying up people’s reach with the podcast.

Guy Kawasaki: Yeah. Because, I mean, for the very simple reason that you could hit people much more often with a podcast than you can with an email, MailChimp campaign. Accenture did a five or six podcast series with will.i.am, right? And you couldn’t hit your Accenture database six times, or probably maybe 18 times, because there are multiple ads inside the six episodes. There’s no way you could have hit your installed base with 18 email campaigns. Well, first of all, there’s not 18 interesting email campaigns you could do.

John Jantsch: Yeah. And I think that’s the key point, too, is it’s far more engaging content than an email ever will be.

Guy Kawasaki: Well, I mean, in a sense, how does NPR raise money? I mean, you don’t enjoy the pledge drive, right? So, you feel a moral obligation to reciprocate. And similarly, with Wikipedia, you don’t like to see that ugly banner where Jimmy Wales is asking you for money, but because Wikipedia provides such great information and content, you feel a moral obligation to donate. So, you could make the case that if Guy Kawasaki’s Remarkable People has all this great wisdom and advice and inspiration, and then it’s sponsored by Canva, you might feel, “Oh geez, I should help Guy out and use Canva.” That’s the theory anyway.

John Jantsch: Yeah. I think it’s a good theory. Well, Guy, we’ve exhausted our time. It was great catching up with you again, and I wish you luck in this new venture. And I will not ask to be on the show, I will just wait by my email for the invitation, if it should come.

Guy Kawasaki: Well, I hope someday to send you that email.

John Jantsch: All right, well-

Guy Kawasaki: Let’s hope that you have four files.

John Jantsch: Yeah, we’re recording with some new new technology here that I think is going to just be awesome, so I-

Guy Kawasaki: If you don’t have four files, it’s my fault for convincing you to do this, and I will appear again.

John Jantsch: That’s right. All right. Well, I get to say to you, mahalo, then.

Guy Kawasaki: Take care.

from http://bit.ly/2O719G4

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amongushq · 7 years

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Welcome (back) to Among Us, FLEUR! EDEN REED ( with the faceclaim of REECE KING ) has found shelter in NEW ATHENS, where we hope HE will fit in nicely. Please make sure to check the “after applying” section of our navigation here!

We got such a good feel for his personality on the surface in the first few answers of the inteview; it’s fascinating to see his whole narcissistic side, and how he really doesn’t care if people want him to shut up: he’ll just talk about himself as much as he wants. Then when we move on to the general background, there is the information that yes, in fact, Eden does care. He just hides it well. He’s a very complex character with obviously much thought behind him.

AND YOU ARE…?

What is your full name, and when were you born?

The man cocked his head, smile on the tip of his lips. “That’s cute, how you’re acting like you don’t know.” He had done his best to ensure that kind of information, his name at least, wouldn’t be lost on those campers. But he was registering for a job hunt, these questions must be mandatory. Sighing, he fell back against his chair, mentally bemoaning how uncomfortable it was. Someone descended from royalty deserved better. “Eden Reed, November first. I’m currently twenty-two — I guess you can do a little math?”

Have you been claimed, or do you belong to a legacy? If yes, state your godly parent / heritage.

“This is the good part, isn’t it?” To him it always was. He had repeated his tale so often he could focus on the other person’s expressions as he talked, delighting in the effect his origin story had on them. “My mother is Angelos, and I know, you haven’t heard of her, don’t hurt your pretty little mouth with those words. She’s a daughter of Zeus and Hera and that, my little bug, makes me royalty.” Even as the interviewer rolled her eyes, Eden wasn’t deterred. “Would you say it doesn’t? Anyway, you’re the ignorant one here, so I’d keep that in mind if I were you. Truth be told, a lot of scholars now seem to think Angelos is another name for Artemis or Hecate — it’s not. I mean, I’d know who my mother is, don’t you think?” he scoffs, head shaking slowly. Mortals and their big mouths. “She’s a chthonic goddess, meaning she resides in and has dominion over the Underworld. Her job mostly has to do with birth and infancy, whether people die through it or because of it. Fun job, huh?”

Where are you currently based? Are you attending a Camp (Half-Blood / Jupiter), or are you living full-time in New Athens / New Rome? Is it a combination of both?

Now it was Eden’s turn to roll his eyes. He truly thought this would be funnier, although why that thought had stuck with him until now, he couldn’t really explain. How come some people had taken so long in there when all these questions could be so easily answered? Perhaps they had been as talkative as he, but even then, the interest level of their pursued conversation wasn’t all that high. “New Athens. Where else? I’m too old for camp, obviously, and since I’m here with you to look for jobs, I’m not from San Fran, am I?” He leaned in, elbows atop his knees, hands clasped together like he would start begging any minute now. “Listen, I know you’re not the one who thought up those questions, and you have to ask them for the file you’re gonna have on me and all — but how dumb can you stand to sound? Can’t you fill that shit in and simply ask us to check? You’ll have your answer anyway but at least it would make me trust your abilities more, you know?”

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? ( If you’re applying for a canon character, are you diverging from book-canon? If so, how?)

So that was why some people had taken their sweet time. Grinning, Eden sat back, triumphant. “Oh, you’re gonna love this.” The interviewer’s wrinkled nose and scrunched eyebrows showed her disagreement plain as day, but the young man hardly noticed. People always made a face before they got a taste of their new favourite food. “I was born and raised in the Underworld. Not too common, huh? Good thing we had fucking torches there and all ‘cause I’m telling you, the day I got out of there, I thought I would burst from all the visual information. So imagine if I had lived in the dark all my life! You could think, hey, your momma could have left you with your dad, right? That’s what you’re thinking.” She wasn’t. All the poor woman wanted was for this narcissist to stop talking – this question was always her least favourite part. Eden could have noticed all this in a glance, but of course he was too immersed in himself to care. “Thing is, she wasn’t too sure who he was anymore, he hadn’t really mattered. She had had some time for herself for once, made the best of it, and voilà! Then what, you think she’d give me to social services? A lot of ghosts told her not to, they’re great advisers, so she listened. That’s how I grew up with her, something I found out is pretty rare. I’m sorry to say my godly parent loved me more than all of yours combined. Loved me too much, actually: even though the ghostly company I had was fun, they kept talking about the outside world, and I was dying to go. Little Mermaid kind of situation, yeah? For years and years I bugged my mother, but she wouldn’t let me go. She was afraid I wouldn’t come back or get hurt. And I’m her only child, so I can’t be mad at her for being extra careful, you know?”

Even as he says so, he recalls the impression of not being heard, of being branded as too fragile to live his own life. And it’s true he has no ill feelings against Angelos, how could he? Still, the situation had been so tense, he had had to make his escape one way or another. “I was able to leave the Underworld using a disruption. The whole Gaea business was just beginning, there were just some weird problems here and there but we had yet to see them as anything more than that. Now, you know there are several ways to reach Hades, right? Not the guy, I mean the place.” He waited for a nod, started again. “Some kid went there, fucking wild as hell. Didn’t even know what was going on. My mom could tell where I was because it’s easy to spot someone who’s alive in a place where no one’s supposed to be, you know? But that kid was so close to the outside world, she mustn’t have noticed him yet, so I thought ‘hey, Eden, now’s your chance! If you keep the kid here and leave, it’ll be a while before anyone notices!’ Hey, don’t look at me like that!” Alright, he was effectively discussing locking someone in Hades just so he could have his fun. But weren’t the gods and mortals all selfish anyway? Why did people have to act like some sort of saint when they truly weren’t? Tsk, fakers. “He needed something anyway, and I’m not here for charity. Trade is what makes the world go round, so I help him he helps me, right? I just, maybe I forgot to tell him that before ripping his spirit from his body. Wow, okay, I can see you don’t believe me. Or you’re angry? You can’t be angry if you don’t believe. It’s not something I generally do, you know? It was only the disruption that allowed me to do that. I had gotten this ritual dagger from my mom, I never knew what to use it for but suddenly everything made sense! So I used it, hid the kid’s body, and left.” He made it sound easy because it had been; so stupidly simple because even he didn’t fully understand how that had been possible. It was all in the past now, why care about it?

“He’s back to basics now, the kid. Maxwell. My mom found out and I got a serious talking to, but the Underworld was getting even weirder and what do you do with a body? They keep spirits down there, not bodies! Some food of the gods, and he was good to go. Honestly, try any of this shit now and everybody ends up dead, we really got lucky. Besides, you could say it did me good to have a conscience for a while, although I didn’t really notice at first. That earned me some trouble, but overall I spent the best few months of my life up in Camp Half Blood. Made friends, had sleepovers, ate popcorn, got girlfriends… One of them’s still sticking with me, and I’m glad she does because I don’t think I could ever love someone else as much. That’s who I’m living in New Athens with, by the way. Gianna. Our place is below ground, because it doesn’t bother us, as she’s a daughter of Nyx.” He scratched the back of his head, sheepish for the first time. “Should have told you that underground home business after your currently-based question, huh?”

What were you doing prior to The Recall?

Moving on to the next topic brought the chthonic demigod back to himself. He was giddy as a child now, tapping his feet against the ground. His lips were something between a grin and a smirk, and he was positively buzzing with energy again. “I was, get this: a ghostbuster. For real! I put up some ads in the mortal world, and next thing I knew people were really requesting my help. And when I saw the charlatans in that business, the kind of money they asked and all, I also started to ghostbust their ass and give people a list of who not to call if there was something strange in their neighbourhood. And it’s weird, doing something for others, it makes them all happy and grateful and next thing I knew I got even more clients, more money, and I hadn’t even lied to get it! Amazing, right?” Once again, the interviewer didn’t seem to share his excitement. Instead she scribbled something down on her sheet that mustn’t have been very flattering or valuable for potential employers.

“I think we’re done here,” she said finally.

“What, really? What about me then? You’ll get back when you’ve found something, how does this work?”

“You already know what you’re supposed to do. I have no idea why you’re here.” She looked stern with good reason. When Eden, after a pregnant pause, burst out laughing, she had her answer. “What was that all about? Boredom, I suppose?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry — I almost am. Okay, you sort of wasted your time — but did you really? Dare say I wasn’t your most interesting customer today, go on, I’ll wait.”

Rising from her chair, the interviewer walked to the door, nearly unhinging it as she wrenched the door open. “I think we’re done here. Have fun scouting the labyrinth.”

#accepted #eden reed

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