#and so rei just heard that and called her a dork

[corethetrueidiot]

There will always be a reminder.

(IM FUCKING DEVASTATED.PLEASE IM FUCKING CRYING. YOU CANT JUST SEPERATE THEM LIKE THAT IM GOINGTO THRROW HANDS?? GHDHDHHFHFHHF)

#theyre talking abt the time when akari first met melli she thought he was a girl. im not self projecting you are #and so rei just heard that and called her a dork #which BOOM. sparks memories. thats just proof that the simplest gestures are so powerful that we have no idea #i imagine their relationship to be very sibbling like and no one can make me think otherwise.. LIKE HOW ARE THEY NOT THOUGH??? #IMMA FINNA MAKE A POST ON WHY THE FUCK GAME FREAK DIDNT MAKE THEM SIBLINGS. THEY LITTERALY. HAVE.DIVORCED.PAR E N T S. #id prefer if it wasnt tagged as ship but go do whatever. cant stop ppl in the net ig #pokemon #pkmn #pokemon legends arceus #legends arceus #pkmn legends arceus #pokemon dawn #pokemon lucas #pokemon rei #pokemon akari #akari pokemon #rei pokemon #dawn pokemon #lucas pokemon #pokemon dppt #pokemon platinum #yeah cus the stuff i drews is their outfits from platinum soooo #rei #akari #lucas #dawn #ok thats it i think #its always a struggle with tags. sobs. #the core art tag

[clementine-writes-things]

Classic White Milkshake - E.N

(Paul Dano Riddler fanfic)

Summary: Edward Nashton finds himself falling for a waitress at a classic diner. She ends up falling for him too.

Content Warning: Tooth rotting fluff, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns, Edward is a huge dork in this oneshot, short compared to my usual fanfics.

Word count: 2,587

Song For Inspo:

Every Man Gets His Wish - Lana Del Rey (unreleased)

~Read Below Cut~

Edward opened up the door to the diner, sighing in relief as AC washed over him. This summer was one of the hottest one's Gotham has ever seen, even though the temperatures weren't that bad. The city usually had rain and cloudy days as their typical weather, so when the sun came out it put everyone in a tizzy. But, still, 85 degrees Fahrenheit was pretty hot. The little bell above the door rang, signaling that a customer had walked in. He looked at the row of stools that stood before the counter. Some people sat in the booths, and only two people sat at the counter. Edward walked along the yellow and white tiled floor, sitting at the stool he always sat at. It was really odd, honestly, that he chose to go to this diner out of all the other ones in Gotham. There were ones that were much closer to his apartment than this one. The people that ate at this diner were usually the sketchy types, or bikers. Because of this, Edward always stood out like a sore thumb when he went there. His sweater that covered his collared button-up shirt, the clear glasses that framed his face, and his messy hair cut, all of them created a target on his back. And he knew that. But, he just couldn't stay away from this place. Not because of the food, although he did like the espressos. It was because of a certain waitress that worked there: Y/n. She also stood out in the diner, her bubbly personality and bright smile making her impossible to forget.

As he sat down, he looked at the person behind the counter, frowning when he realized it wasn't y/n. The waiter walked over, chewing a piece of gum in his mouth. Placing a hand on his hip, he looked Edward up and down. His name tag read 'Matthew'.

"Mmm, you're that Riddle guy, aren't 'cha?" He asked, blowing a bubble with his gum.

"Um, Edward. Edward Nashton." He said, not sure if he should introduce himself or not.

"Yeah, that's it. Edward. Huh, you look more like a...Paul...people ever tell you that?" Matthew asked after popping the bubble with his teeth.

"Uh, no. Excuse me, is Ms. Y/n working today?" He asked.

Matthew nodded, a small smirk forming on his lips. He had seen Edward come in here a million times before, always wanting y/n to be his waitress. He would always order something, but sometimes he'd get so caught up in conversation with y/n, that he would forget to eat or drink what he got. Matthew knew that y/n loved serving Edward as well, always dropping whatever she was doing to do it. Loving being a matchmaker, Matt was always willing to continue whatever task y/n was doing so she could talk to Edward. He wished they would just hang out outside of the diner already.

"Edward...you already know she is. You know her schedule." He winked.

Edward's cheeks flushed and he looked away. Matthew giggled, chewing his gum. Whistling he leaned over the ledge where they placed orders on from the kitchen.

"Oh y/n~! Your boyfriend is here!" Matthew teased in a sing-song voice.

Edward blushed when he called him her boyfriend. A cluttering could be heard in the back of the kitchen, causing Matthew to laugh softly. Edward felt his heart race, anxious to see y/n. In a few seconds, she opened up the swinging door, eyes wide and bright. Smiling, Matt walked away and began to serve the other customers. Y/n giggled, propping her elbows up on the counter, resting her chin in the palms of her hands. The sight made Edward relax instantly, her presence was like a security blanket, instantly providing comfort.

"Morning, Eddie!" She smiled.

"Good morning, y/n. How's your day going so far?" He asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, making Edward an espresso really quick. Placing it on the counter in front of him, she watched as he grabbed a sugar packet.

"Oh, y'know, just like all my other mornings. Boring!" She fake gagged, pretending to stick a finger down her throat.

He took a sip, feeling more and more awake as he felt the liquid go down his throat. It wasn't too hot, so it was easy to swallow. Placing it back down on the counter, he let out a sigh.

"But, now you're here! C'mon Eddie, tell me a riddle! I've been practicing!" She said excitedly.

Humming to himself, he looked down at his cup of espresso. The steam rose up and fogged the lenses of his glasses. Wiping it away, he took another sip from the drink. Y/n watched him anxiously, awaiting the riddle that he was going to tell her.

"Let's see..."

He held the opened sugar packet he had in his fingers. Glancing at y/n, he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Edward hummed, holding his fists up and bending them down, mimicking a breaking gesture.

"Break me, and I won't stop working."

He clasped his hands over each other, holding his own hands.

"Touch me, and I may be snared."

Wagging his pointer finger back and forth, he smirked.

"Nothing matters if you lose me. What am I?" He asked.

As she thought about the riddle, she looking around the room, wondering if he was referencing something around them. When she couldn't figure out the riddle based on that theory, she looked back at him. She huffed, a piece of hair blowing out of her face as she did so. Looking down at her fingernails, which were painting a gentle pink, she gasped, thinking she might know the answer. Edward poured his sugar packet over his drink, moving it in a certain way.

"A heart!" She exclaimed, mouth open in a happy smile.

Edward slid the cup close to her, revealing what he used the sugar for. The small granules rested on top of the cold foam, forming a heart on the surface of the espresso. Y/n giggled, looking back at Edward. He grinned, dimples showing as his glasses were pushed up from his cheeks raising.

"Well look at you! Aren't you a smart cookie?" He commented.

"Oh, Edward! That's so neat! How do you come up with these riddles?" She asked, absolutely enamored with his ability.

He shrugged, taking a sip of his drink as he looked her in the eyes. Pride was evident in his face, accepting her awe and compliments graciously. Sighing happily, y/n pulled out her notepad and pen that rested in her apron.

"Alright Mr. Riddler, what's it gonna be today?" She asked teasingly.

"Eggs and bacon, Ms. Y/n." He said.

"The usual, gotcha. I'll make sure they are over hard." She winked.

"Thank you, y/n. But, I've been meaning to ask you..."

Y/n finished writing her order, handing it to the cook behind the hot plate. Looking back at Edward, she placed her hands on her hips. Her face was soft as she smiled at him. She nodded her head slightly, gesturing for him to continue.

"Why don't you let me get you something? Huh?" He asked, taking a sip of his espresso as he looked at her.

Y/n blushed, twirling a piece of hair with her pointer finger. Edward watched as she glanced around the diner. She suddenly felt very embarrassed, not in a bad way though. Y/n just wasn't used to kind gestures from men that came into the diner. But, then again, Edward wasn't like the other guys that came in. He was a gentleman, kind, sweet, and smart. He was a dork and y/n couldn't help but adore him for it.

"Edward Nashton, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were flirting with me." She teased, her smile growing and her dimples showing.

"Well, what if I am? I insist, let me buy you a classic white milkshake. A little cherry on top, too. I know you love them." He smiled, his grey-green eyes gazing up into hers.

"Mmm, I'll serve you a special side of heartbreak with that." She giggled.

"Oh come on now, you wouldn't do that to me, would you?" He questioned, a playful smile still on his face.

"Course not, Eddie. 'M just playin' with ya! I've got a lunch break in a few minutes if you wanna get me that milkshake. That is, if you have time for it?"

"For you, I've got all the time in the world." He hummed.

Y/n blushed, turning around and heading back into the kitchen. Edward watched her leave, taking another sip of his drink. His heart was racing from the interaction, always feeling nervous around her. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled and cleared his throat. Glancing to his left saw Matthew giving him a thumbs up. He awkwardly gave him one back with an equally awkward smile. As quick as she had gone in the kitchen, y/n came back with Edward's food. Leaving the back of the counter, she sat on the stool next to Edward. She placed the plate in front of him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Smiling at her, Edward got Matthew's attention. When he walked over, Edward chuckled awkwardly.

"A vanilla milkshake please, Matthew?" He asked, his voice was soft like it always was.

"Gotcha." He said.

Y/n giggled, taking in Edward's attire. She didn't notice it before, but he was wearing a dark green bowtie. Edward raised an eyebrow as he took a bite of his bacon. Swallowing, he looked at y/n.

"What?" He asked.

"Why are you dressed so formal? You do know this is a diner, right?" She tilted her head.

"Yes I know, but you work at this diner. Of course I'm going to dress my best." He smiled.

Y/n's heart swelled, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. It made her feel special that he dressed up just because he was going to see her. She wasn't really anything special, especially right now. Her hair was put back in a ponytail, pieces falling out and framing her face. The uniform she wore was stained with coffee and she was 100% certain that she smelled like bacon and grease. But, here he was, looking at her as if she was the most beautiful art piece in the Louvre.

"Oh Edward, you're such a charmer..." She sighed.

Matthew came back with y/n's milkshake, placing it in front of her. The cherry on top caught y/n's eyes immediately. Thanking her coworker, she grabbed the cherry by the stem and placed it in her mouth. Edward watched as she pulled the stem off, placing it on a napkin. He smiled warmly at the way she savored the taste, the bright red juices staining her lips. Y/n laughed as a little bit of the juice dribbled down her chin. Grabbing his napkin, Edward reached forward and dabbed the liquid away gently. Y/n blushed, unable to resist herself as she pressed her face into his hand. Smiling, Edward pulled his hand back and continued to eat his breakfast. Y/n did the same with her milkshake, the both of them glancing at each other occasionally. After he finished his food, he watched y/n drink her milkshake.

"How often do people tell you you're breathtaking, y/n?" He asked.

Y/n looked up from her sweet treat, swallowing what was in her mouth. She felt caught off guard by the question, as it was one she had never been asked. Edward's cheeks were slightly red, y/n wasn't sure if it was from the heat or if he was nervous around her. Straightening out the apron of her uniform, she cleared her throat.

"I don't think anyone has ever called me breathtaking." She answered simply.

"That's quite strange..." He commented.

"How so?" Y/n asked.

Sitting up slightly, Edward straightened his posture. He had a bad habit of hunching over a lot and he was trying to work on it. His fingers rapped against the counter of the diner, the sound turning slightly hypnotic mixed with the Skeeter Davis song playing quietly through the speakers in the corners of ceiling.

"You've told me about the men that come in and flirt with you, but they do not think you are breathtaking?" He questioned, genuinely confused.

Y/n shook her head, laughing softly.

"No, Edward. They don't call me breathtaking. They have very different ideas of what compliments are." She scoffed.

"I see. Well, perhaps they are incapable of differentiating what is attractive and what is...ethereal." He smiled, a sliver of a tooth poking out.

Y/n blushed deeply, unsure if he realized how kind that was. She felt her heart race and her eyes water slightly. Letting out a shaky breath, she regained her composure and chuckled. Edward tilted his head slightly, eyes widening when he saw the water in her eyes.

"Oh dear, have I said something wrong? I sincerely apologize if I made you uncomfortable in any w-"

"Edward, can you tell me what ethereal means?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

Edward put his hands in his pockets, fidgeting with the keys to his apartment.

"W-Well, ethereal is used in scientific terms to describe a solution that has diethyl ether as a solvent, so wh-"

"No, Edward. The other definition." She laughed softly.

"Oh, yes I see, apologies. Um, ethereal is an adjective used to describe something that is delicate and light in a nature that seems too perfect for this world. It can also be used to describe something as heavenly and/or spiritual. L-Like an angel..." He stated.

Y/n smiled wide, cheeks dusted with a hue of pink. Edward's face turned a bright red, this time y/n knew it wasn't because of the heat. He swallowed a lump in his throat as his hands shook slightly in the pockets of his pants.

"You think I'm too perfect for this world, Edward?" She asked, looking up at him through her lashes.

Edward nodded slowly, unsure if that was an ok thing of him to say. Y/n smiled, glancing away from him in embarrassment. Upon seeing this, Edward felt more relaxed. He let out a breath that he felt like he had been holding for an hour. Y/n grabbed her notepad from off of her apron, using her pen to scribble something on the paper. Still fidgeting with his keys, he watched her painted nails hold the pen delicately as she wrote on the pad. She tore the single sheet of paper off of the notepad, kissed it, folded it up, and then handed it to Edward. Y/n stood up from the stool, looking down at Edward. Giggling, she leaned down and planted a kiss on his right cheek. His eyes widened and his face felt like it was on fire. Speechless, he watched her walk back behind the counter, grabbing their plates as she left. She opened up the door to the kitchen, winking at him before it closed. Shakily, he opened up the folded piece of paper, reading what was written on it.

'Eddie Nashton, you smarty...

xxx-xxx-xxxx

don't worry about paying, it's on me!

-Your angel <3'

Her kiss on the paper left a lipstick mark on the bottom left corner. Edward's smile grew into a dork grin, humming to himself happily as he got up from the stool. He left the diner, bell ringing above his head. As he walked down the sidewalk, he lifted his arms in the air, bringing them down to his sides with his hands clenched into fists.

"Yes!"

~

#writers #fanfic writer #writers of tumblr #fanfic #the riddler #dc universe #riddler #paul dano #danonation #paul dano riddler #dano riddler #batman 2022 #edward nashton

[nashibirne]

Gimme Shelter - 2

Ready for chapter 2? Here it is. This whole fic, but especially this part, was inspired by this article/interview. Men's Journal Article In particular by Henry's statements about his time at boarding school.

In this chapter we learn about Henry's and Kat's past. I hope you enjoy it. If so, please leave me a comment, like or replog. 💜

Previous part -> Nashi's Masterlist

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.4k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 2: Kat remembers the day Henry hurt her very much and they have the unavoidable conversation about it.

Warnings: RPF, mention of bullying, angst, humiliation

No beta! All mistakes are mine. English is not my mother tongue so expect bad grammar and wrong spelling.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Faceclaims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights @sweetlybigdragonn @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @rn7rocks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2

"And I say I'll never hurt her

But she knows it isn't true

'Cause although I never told her

I think she knows 'bout me and you."

From "When Susannah Cries", written by Amund Bjorklund/Espen Lind

****

Kat found herself confronted with Henry all alone after a week of avoiding him. Of course they had met when they had dinner together in the evenings but she had stayed out of Sam's and Henry's conversations most of the time and during the day she stayed in her office, busy with work. Sometimes she secretly watched him, peeking out of her window, when he played with Kal in the garden or when he was doing workouts or stretching when he came back from one of his runs, but she avoided meeting him.

She knew it was idiotic but she just couldn't forget their past. She felt childish and silly and of course it was unavoidable to talk about it at some point but she wasn't ready yet. On this Friday morning she was sitting in the kitchen having breakfast when he came back from his morning run unusually late.

"Morning, Kat." He flashed her a bright smile before he started to make a protein shake and an egg sandwich. He looked fantastic even when he was sweaty and worn out.

"Good morning." She avoided his gaze and concentrated on her porridge. 

"Mind if I join you?" Henry pointed at the chair opposite of her.

"No. Please, sit." Kat gave him an awkward smile. It still felt so strange to have him around, it made her uncomfortable and tense.

"I already said this to Sam, the house is beautiful. I mean it always was, I remember it very well but what you made of it is great. Modern and traditional at the same time, perfect mixture." 

"Thank you." She didn't know what else to say but Henry didn't seem to mind her taciturn reply, he kept on smiling and talking.

"I was pretty surprised when I heard that you moved here. I mean, you were always a big city girl, you hated Stowe, and then...St. Ives...not only for holidays but for good…" 

"Yeah. At some point I was getting sick of the big city lights, of all the hectic and the noise and all the crowded places." Kat explained shrugging. "And when our parents thought about selling the house after their divorce, Sam and I decided to buy and renovate it. He was looking for a place to open a practise anyway and the old vet in town was giving up his, so it was the perfect opportunity for him and I can work from anywhere so we moved here."

"Right, Sam mentioned you're an editor."

"Yes. I have a little editing office and work as a freelancer for different publishing houses."

"That's great, Kat. You've always been good with words."

She smiled and this time it was more relaxed. "And you've always been a good entertainer."

Henry chuckled. "Most of the time you found my little performances annoying. I remember that very well."

Kat laughed. "You're right. When you tried your stand up comedy on me. That was a pain in the ass. But you were great on stage. You were a natural."

"We were a great team, all of our drama group."

"That's true but you were outstanding in Grease. Everyone said that. I remember our parents were gushing over your performance all night after the premiere." She laughed again and rolled her eyes. 

"That must have sucked. Didn't your mother want to make you join the drama group too?" "Yes. And she hated that I preferred to write for the school newspaper. She thought I was wasting my creative potential."

"She was wrong. Your articles always were the most progressive, interesting and polarizing ones."

"Yeah, maybe. But she was right when she said you were extraordinarily talented. You're a great actor."

"Thanks, Kitty."

Her smile froze. Kitty. He was the only one who'd ever called her that. And he stopped doing it 22 years ago.

"I'm sorry, Kat. I don't know where that came from." He said with a remorseful frown.

"Just don't call me that ever again."

"Of course not. Unless you ask me to." He gave her a sheepish smile.

She shook her head, visibly annoyed. "Not gonna happen."

"Kat. Please, I'm really sorry and I know I lost every right to call you that a very long time ago but maybe we can start over again. Talk about what happened. I never got the chance to explain…"

"Don't even start, okay? I don't wanna hear it." She interrupted him mid-sentence and started to stir her coffee so angrily that she spilled half of it on the table.

Henry began to chew on his bottom lip. "It's just that my therapist told me to follow through my past, to take a close look at the mistakes I've made...to learn from them."

"My, my...too bad my therapist told me the exact opposite. Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That's what he said."

Kat shrugged apologetically.

"That's not something a therapist would say, Kat. This is from Star Wars The Last Jedi. Ben Solo said this to Rey."

He knew the quote. Still a nerd, Kat thought. Still that damn cute dork.

"Never underestimate the wisdom of a Star Wars character." 

"Ok, I get it. You don't wanna talk about it." Henry raised his hands in surrender.

"You catch on quick, don't you?" Kat said sarcastically.

Henry shook his head, rolling his eyes with an annoyed snort.

"Alright, let's keep it under the cloak of silence." 

"Yup."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Kat crossed her arms and stared out of the window. Henry was fuming with anger. Why wouldn't she let him explain? Make a fresh start? They were 16 back then, stupid teenagers, why wasn't it possible to talk about this damn night now, 22 bloody years later? He bolted down his sandwich and his shake and left the room without another word.

****

Kat went upstairs after this unpleasant encounter and plopped down on her bed with a desperate sigh. She remembered that damn night so fucking well. Still. After all these years. It was burnt into her memory as the biggest humiliation of her life. The day her heart broke in a way, no man had ever been able to repair it. Superficially maybe but not to the core. That stupid summer dance. Kat closed her eyes and suddenly she was sixteen again.

I really don't know why I'm already wearing that silly dress three hours before I have to go, I didn't want to have it at all. At least not before Henry suggested going to the dance with me. As friends of course but nevertheless. It will be the two of us together. You and me, Kitty. Two lonely hearts. That's what Henry said to me. That was four weeks ago and ever since that day it's all I can think about. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I like what I see. The dress is cute, it's light blue and quite romantic with all the frills and the puffed sleeves and I feel like an Edwardian lady from one of the novels Henry and I love so much. I feel pretty and I want to be pretty for him. I want to look like a girl tonight, not like a tomboy. I even bought a headband with little flowers. I'd really love to hear Amy's opinion on my dress. She's my roommate and friend but she's at the hospital because she had an appendix operation. 

The ringing of the phone in our room startles me. I take the call. It's Henry and he sounds awful. He says he has a very bad migraine and that he cannot go to the dance with me. He apologizes several times but of course it's not his fault. I know he has these attacks from time to time and I know he can't leave his bed when he does. He needs to sleep in complete silence and darkness and tomorrow he will be fine again. He tells me he wants me to go alone, to have fun tonight but of course I'm not going anywhere without him and he knows it. It's a shame, that's true but where's the point in going to a dance alone without my only friends, without Amy, without Henry.

I take off my dress and put on jeans and a hoodie. I look out of the window, the weather is wonderful and I decide to take a walk to distract myself from the disappointment.

Of course I run right into my big brother Samuel. He asks me what I'm doing in the park. Why I'm not getting ready for the big party and for my date. He just can't stop making fun of me. He knows it's not a date, that Henry and I are just friends but he loves to tease me. He says I'm in love with Henry and of course he's right, I am in love with him, deeply, I'm in love for the first time in my life but I keep on denying it. Sam must never know that he's right because he would use it against me, that's for sure. When I tell him about Henry and the migraine he says I can't skip the dance, that I really need some fun and that I'm going to like it. He convinces me to go with him. His date has dumped him because he cheated on her. He's a notorious heartbreaker but deep inside he is a nice guy and -all in all- a pretty good big brother. I hesitate but then I think of the beautiful dress that's waiting for me in my room and so I finally agree.

I go to Henry's room to tell him I'm going with Sam and to explain why. I don't want him to be upset that I go without him. I knock but there's no answer. I guess he sleeps and I don't want to wake him up and so I leave.

Sam picks me up at nine. The dance starts at eight but he wants a big entrance. It's all about attention and drama, Kat, he says and I guess he's right.

When we arrive at the party Sam soon disappears with Molly Smith, one of his many exes and I stand alone beside the cold buffet. That's when I see him. At first I don't believe my eyes but it's really him. It's Henry. He's standing there with all the popular kids, chatting and laughing and holding hands with Poppy Edwards, the most beautiful girl of our school. No sign of a bad migraine. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I can't look away, I want to but I just can't turn my eyes away from him. When he notices me his face falls. He stares at me and so does everyone who's standing there with him. My first impulse is to turn around and run away but I don't. My pride is stronger than the stinging pain in my heart. He obviously doesn't want me to be here. To see him with his new friends and his date or girlfriend or whatever this is. I jut my chin defiantly and stand my ground. I watch in horror how Poppy takes Henry by the hand and drags him in my direction. Their friends follow them.

She greets me with a smile that's sweet as sugar but the words that come out of her mouth are like poison. "Katherine, what a pretty dress. Where did you get it?" Before I'm able to stammer an answer she keeps going. "Did you find it in the prop room of the drama group? You look like Eliza Doolittle." She gives me a fake smile and her stupid friends start to giggle. I know my face is flaming red with anger, embarrassment and humiliation but Poppy's not done with me yet. She turns to Henry. "I bet she wants you to be her Professor Higgins. Everybody knows she has a crush on you. Maybe she wants to kiss you. Do you want to kiss this dressed up tomboy, Henry? Or do you want to kiss me?" Now every single one of them bursts out laughing and it feels like a punch in the guts. I'm on the brink of tears. I look at Henry, searching for help, but there's no reaction. He doesn't speak up against them, does nothing to defend and protect me, he doesn't even look at me.  He doesn't do anything, he just stands there staring holes in the ground, avoiding my gaze. I can't stand this anymore. Him. Her. All of them. I turn around and leave fully aware of the fact that this moment marks the end of our friendship.

When Kat woke up from that ghastly memory she felt just as terrible as 22 years ago. Humiliated and ashamed and angry. Very angry. She got up with a jolt, ran up the stairs to the second floor and headed right to Henry's rooms. She didn't knock, just stormed in, finding him standing there in only a pair of briefs. His curls were wet and he smelled heavenly. She stopped in her tracks and Henry stared at her. "Kat. What the fuck. Ever heard of privacy? Ever heard of knocking?"

She didn't answer, she just stood there unsure what to do or say. Henry put on a shirt and sweatpants and turned to her again. "Can I help you?"

"Explain." Kat said. "Explain to me what happened at the dance."

"Now?"

"Yes. Now. Is that a problem?"

He shook his head slowly. "Not at all. Wanna sit?" 

"No. I'm fine."

"Come on, Kat. This may take a while."

With a sigh she sat down on the sofa while Henry plopped down in the arm chair beside the window.

"So?" Kat looked at him expectantly.

"Well, first of all I wanna say I was a stupid wank back then. I lied to you and I let you down. I know this now, I knew it then, but when Poppy asked me to go to the dance with her…"

"When?"

"What?"

"When did she ask you?"

"A week before the ball."

Kat nodded. "Okay. Go on."

"Right. When Poppy asked me I just couldn't say no. I mean she was the most popular girl in our school and she wanted to go with a nobody like me. With fat Cavill, the lemon. Her attention just felt so good. The thought that she might be interested in me...it was too tempting to not give it a try. I just couldn't refuse her. I faked that migraine because I thought it was the easiest way to keep you away from the dance. I was sure you'd never go without me but I was wrong. I considered telling you the truth, I really did because I hated lying to you, Kat, but I finally decided to keep it a secret because I was sure you would try to talk me out of it. I knew you hated Poppy..."

"Yes, I did. She was a bitch. A manipulative, arrogant bitch and a bully."

"Like Aaron Taylor you mean?" Henry snapped at her with an angry glance. After all these years he was still jealous of the guy. "Aaron was arrogant, yes, but he was never manipulating anyone. He was more honest and true to himself than every single one of you and your friends. And for sure he was no bully. I wouldn't have been with him if he'd bullied anyone. He was a good guy." 

"Poppy wasn't that bad either. The real Poppy I mean. Not the queen bee she pretended to be."

Kat turned her eyes towards the ceiling and shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah, sure. She was an angel…You know, that was the hardest part. To process that you of all people were with a girl like her. She and her friends made fun of us and our love for literature so many times." Her voice got tense and she took a deep breath to calm down.  Henry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before he continued to speak.

"Anyway. I never wanted to hurt you, Kat. I hope you know that. I didn't expect you to show up and I know the way I treated you was awful. I didn't defend you, I hurt your feelings, I betrayed you and behaved like an asshole. I know this is almost inexcusable but I want you to know that I'm really sorry. I was back then but I didn't dare to tell you. And I still am. I'm sorry and ashamed of my behaviour. I can only apologize and hope for forgiveness." He avoided her gaze, staring at his hands.

A long silent pause followed his statement but after a while Kat inhaled deeply and after clearing her throat she started to talk. "Thank you, Henry. This really means a lot to me. I mean, hearing you admit all that. And the betrayal, that's what hurt the most. I want you to know that it was never about the fact that you didn't return my feelings for you. I mean, of course I was jealous of Poppy, but…"

Now Henry was the one to cut in.

"Wait. Your feelings for me?" He sounded genuinely surprised.

"Come on, don't act stupid. You must have known how I felt about you. I was pretty obvious and Poppy told everyone at the dance that I had a crush on you." Kat knew she was blushing but it was embarrassing to say that out loud.

"Kat, I swear I had no idea. I thought Poppy was just joking. I never considered you'd see me this way." He looked her right in the eyes before he continued. "You told me that you don't see me as a boy. That I was -and that's a quote I will never be able to forget- 'just like a girl that has a teeny wiener' to you."

"Oh god, Henry. I was 13 when I said that and I was a brat with a loose tongue. I did see you as a boy when we got older. Of course I did…" Kat gave him an awkward smile.

"So you really had a crush on me? Why didn't you say anything?" 

"To be honest it was a little more than a crush. I was in love with you. And when you said you'd go to the dance with me I thought that maybe there we would dance and get close and maybe share a special moment and a kiss or...I don't know. I just had these silly romantic fantasies…" Kat swallowed hard and shrugged. 

"You hoped that we'd become a couple that night."

She nodded.

"I never knew this, Kat." Henry felt awful. If he'd only known, he would never have said yes to Poppy if he'd had the slightest notion that Kat was in love with him.

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it. That was 22 years ago. I'm not that girl anymore and you most definitely aren't that boy."

Kat got up and clapped her hands.

"I guess it's a good thing we've talked this through. Your therapist is going to like it." She gave him a sarcastic smile and Henry got up too. He came closer but Kat took a step back and so he didn't move any further.

"Do you think you can forgive me?"

"I already have, Henry. I know you didn't do it on purpose or to hurt me. We were so young and now as an adult I somehow unterstand why you acted that way...but that's not the point. The problem is to forget and to trust you again."

He nodded slowly. "I understand that, Kat. Just give me a second chance, okay?"

She took a deep breath. "I'll try to. But I need time. Time to get used to you, to the whole situation."

"Sure." And then he pulled her into a hug that felt right and wrong at the same time and left her dizzy and with a racing heart. "I won't let you down again, Kat." Oh how she wished she could believe his whispered words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

tbc

#rpf #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill x ofc #friends to lovers #slow burn #henry cavill slow burn #henry cavill friends to lovers #friends to lovers fic #slow burn fic

[hopelesshawks]

History of Us Part 15- Memories

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Warning for descriptions of child abuse (it’s Todoroki’s backstory)

Masterlist Kofi

“Who’re you texting?” Shoto asks with faux casualness. “Shinso from 3B,” you explain with a shrug as you type out and send your last text before clicking your phone off and tossing it away on the bed. “Didn’t he use his quirk on you to make you give him your number?” Shoto asks. “Technically he used his quirk to give me his number. I’m the one who decided to text him. He’s pretty cool actually,” you explain. Shoto’s tempted to further pry into the nature of you and Shinso’s communications but the thought is halted entirely as you curl up closer to him under the blanket, situating the popcorn he’d brought in your lap. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Huddled up next to each other was the two of you’s default position as kids.

He remembers vividly what growing up with each other and the fathers you two have was like. It didn’t matter that the two of you were just kids, training was rigorous. Endeavor and Black Storm were both sick of the monopoly All Might seemed to have on the hearts of Japan. They were determined to raise their children to do what they themselves clearly could not. It started after Touya’s accident. Endeavor decided he’d lost too much to give up on the dream of surpassing All Might through his children, so when his most trusted partner and best friend, Black Storm, had proposed training you and Shoto together, he had jumped at the chance. The trainings were harsh, too harsh for children, but that didn’t matter to your imposing fathers. The two of you were isolated from all children except each other and your relationship was intended to be strictly for the purpose of training. That didn’t stop the two of you from becoming close though. When your fathers were at work, the two of you would run and play and watch movies and do everything you could to pretend you were just normal children. Better yet, your mothers would frequently sneak the two of you games and treats to try and make up for the damage their spouses were dealing you.

The day Shoto got his scar was one of the very rare times you weren’t over at his place. Your mother worked at the hospital, her healing quirk perfectly suited for the job, but an influx of villain activity had been keeping her busy. As a result, Rei Todoroki had needed to bear the responsibility of protecting you and Shoto alone for awhile. She had told your mother in no uncertain terms she couldn’t handle the responsibility of another child for the day so despite Shoto’s pleading that you be allowed to come over, he’d been forced to spend the day alone. He kept to himself for the most part that day, after all his only real source of social interaction typically was with you, but then he overheard his mother complaining to his grandmother on the phone. More specifically, he heard her complaining about him and how unsightly his left side was. He hated hearing his mother upset so he stepped into the kitchen with a quiet call of “Mom?” with every intention of asking her what was wrong and trying to help.

It wasn’t long afterwards that he felt the boiling hot water on his face.

He remembers how badly it stung even after it had been treated and wrapped up. It hurt and it hurt and it hurt but he never once blamed his mother. He knew exactly whose fault his injury was and he’d made that fact very clear after his father told him his mother wouldn’t be coming back. When you’d finally come back over, your mother looked murderous when she saw him, her eyes surprisingly fierce as she stared down the number two hero and commanded that you and Shoto go to his room while the adults talked. The moment the two of you were alone you fretted over your friend. “Can I see?” you’d asked, left hand hovering near his face. He had simply nodded and carefully removed the bandage to reveal the still fresh wound. It must have been a horrifying sight, especially to a young child, but you hadn’t turned away. “Does it hurt?” you had asked. He nodded in response. “I can try to help,” you offered. Shoto shook his head. “When your dad gets back they’ll make us train,” he explained. Guilt had risen in his throat at the thought of you getting in trouble for tiring yourself out before training to help him. “I don’t care,” you had pouted. When Shoto tried to insist you cut him off again. “I don’t care! I’m gonna help,” you asserted with all the authority a young child could muster. You gently placed your little left hand on the damaged skin, apologizing quietly when he winced at the touch all the same, and then your hand had started glowing as you tried to help. Your quirk was much weaker then, of course, and you’d gotten nowhere close to healing the skin completely, but to this day Shoto will insist the scar would’ve been much worse had you not been there and he knows for a fact that if nothing else you had stopped the incessant stinging and pain the scar had resonated.

“Stop thinking so hard,” you command, poking Shoto’s cheek and snapping him back to the present. He blinks over at you as he reminds himself where he is and an odd warmth fills him when he remembers that he has you once again. “Sorry,” he chuckles lightly. “What were you thinking about?” you ask. “The day I got my scar,” he admits, seeing no reason to lie. “I’m still sorry I couldn’t fix it,” you admit, your left hand briefly hovering there as if to try and rectify that mistake now. He gently grips your hand and moves it away. “Don’t worry about it. You actually helped a lot that day,” he assures you. “Don’t patronize me,” you scoff with a roll of your eyes. “I’m not,” he promises, “it actually still hurt a lot before you intervened. I’m grateful.” The sincere sentiment flusters you a little and you have to cough to cover up your reaction. “Whatever, let’s just watch the movie you dork,” you recover, warmth still pooling in your cheeks even as you turn back to the waiting laptop screen on your bed. “Ok,” Shoto agrees easily before leaning forward to press play on the waiting movie and then getting comfortably cuddled up to you once more.

A/N: The puzzle pieces of (y/n) and Shoto’s backstory are finally coming together. We also got a little bit of insight into Endeavor and what his deal with (y/n) is 👀 Shoto and (y/n) both deserve better but hopefully getting them all soft together makes up for the pain of hearing about their past

Taglist: @sorrythatspussynal @miss-bakugo-writes @pixelwisp @larkspyrr @sokkaandzukosimp @akkaso @sunaispretty @mindofess @todoplusultra @oliviasslut @lapysllazuly

#hopelesshou #shoto smau #shoto x fem!reader #shoto x reader #shoto x y/n #todoroki smau #todoroki x fem!reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki x y/n #shoto todoroki

[cursestothemoon]

Hi!! I just saw your hd of Fred dating and actress and it was SO GOOD!! 👏😍 could you do one but instead of an actress a famous singer??

OoOoOoOo

y e s. 

alrighty

buckle in

this is gonna be gewd

so we are gonna start with the two ways of how you guys would meet 

number one 

you are a witch and also a famous singer 

ginny is going through her rebellious phase 

you know how it is

and homegirl is bLASTING your songs in her room

and Gred and Forge just happen to be visiting 

Fred would just

pause for a moment because 

wow

that’s the most beautiful voice hes ever heard and the lyrics are really speaking to him

our mizunderstood king

so naturally he busts into Ginny’s room and is like who is t h a t

and ginny would have a poster of you up

aH

and obviously it’s a magical one so you are dancing and singing 

and she’d just point to the poster and be like 

that’s Y/n, she toured with Weird Sisters 

From that moment on

fred was in love

he wouldn't shut up about you

George would get him merch

he’d try to go to concerts 

then the day came

T H E  D A Y

him and george got a phone call asking if they could use the shop in a photoshoot for some celebrity

the pay was pretty hefty so they agreed

what fred didn’t expect was for you to walk in 

makeup done, hair done 

my man lost his marbles

“gEORGE DID YOU SEE WHO IT IS?”

“....y/n-”

“iTS Y/N L/N.”

apparently your new album has to do with fireworks, sweets? 

idk you choose

wait now i can't get the music video for fergalicious out of my head

either way you are there 

and there is a photoshoot happening 

and i think fred would be rather shy at first 

hes a grown 21 year old and he has a newspaper clipping of you in his bedroom

its a bit intimidating 

but then he thinks about it 

and hes like??? she’s in mY shop

yeah she’s Y/n L/n, she's insanely talented and has played at sold out arenas but only I know where the bathroom is

if you caught that nudge we should be friends :)

so anyway

yeah he was like this is my time to shiNE 

would be the biggest flirt 

and you think hes honestly quite charming 

and stUPIDLY GOOD LOOKING 

you’d score yourself a date

and fred was beyond excited 

not only for the date

but for ginny’s reaction

aLRIGHT NOW WE HAVE THE SECOND WAY

you are a muggle

and he has no idea you exist

until one year for Hermione’s 19th 

a sort of ode to the last year of being a teenager 

she wants everyone to go to a concert 

your concert 

Harry and Ron would be the only ones who have heard of you

Harry because he went through a phase 

and Ron just hears Hermione talking about you

but yeah a group of them would go

fred and george included 

it’s a party everyone's coming out

so they are all waiting for it to start 

fred’s just hanging out

throwing back a beer 

what not 

then it starts

lights

fog machine

idk

but his attention has been grabbed 

then you come out and he is just ❤️👄❤️

ok let’s say you are a lana del rey type of artist 

fred would, once again, lose his marbles

and he’d just be so captivated by you

and the words

dADDY ISSUES???

gets a bit hot and bothered

will also tease Hermione for listening to such suggestive songs

or let’s say you are more pop punk

maybe grunge

oOOOO

GRUNGE 

im thinking of Hole

courtney love

strictly speaking of her music and not her as a person

still very hot and bothered

maybe more so

he is a head banger

will either create or join the mosh pit 

will buy a t-shirt on the way out

ok afterwards they would go to a club or bar nearby 

super popular one 

kind of a big deal

guess who walks in

g u e s s

you do 

with a few friends

a few roadies 

you know the homies and what not 

and i think you’d be the first to see him because lets be honest

you noticed him in the crowd 

hes tall and cute 

also for the sake of this lets say they had really good seats

and fred would notice that you were there when you ‘coincidentally’ took a seat next to him at the bar

there is a good chance he would be taking a sip of his drink when he noticed and would choke 

hA what a dork

but yeah you guys would definitely hit it off

Hermione would also lose her shit

ah you would party with them

it would be so much fun oh my god

ok now that you guys are together

which ever origin story you prefer

we need to get into the relationship

you would sing 

constantly 

throughout the house 

and when he caught you singing he’d just stand there, a bit hidden, and just listen 

wHEN YOU HAD TO LEAVE FOR TOUR HE’D BE SO SAD OH MY GOD THEN AFTER YOU LEFT HED BE INCREDIBLY GRUMPY

george will write to you telling you to immediately come back because he is done with fred’s shit

obviously you can't

but fred would take any opportunity he could get to come see you

iF YOU WROTE A SONG FOR HIM AND SANG IT ON STAGE HE WOULD TEAR UP

or lets say you guys got in a huge fight 

talks of breaking up

but he’s still watching your live shows 

and you start singing the song that you had wrote about him

but now it’s so much sadder and you are trying not to cry and Fred would just diE

would immediately see you as soon as possible to resolve the issue, talk it out, and stay together because you canNOT LEAVE HIM

if he’s having a bad day he will try to subtly ask you to sing him to sleep

but that's only in the beginning

“I don’t know work was stressful today, i think im going to go to bed.”

“alright, you want to be alone or you want me to come with you”

“can you come...and... you know I haven't heard the new song yet...could you sing it for me?”

aH hes so cute

also i am a firm believer that when he is in a bad mood he is the biggest baby

but anyway

he’ll get more comfortable with asking you and eventually just ask you to sing for him when you guys are cuddling

oK HE’D ALSO BE THE COCKIEST LITTLE SHIT 

hes such a tease

its a bout to get just a little nsfw 

“come on, love, let’s hear your beautiful voice.”

take that how you will

aH he has a before show ritual

right before you get on stage 

if he is in town and with you

he will give you one kiss for each song on your setlist 

and as you go to walk onto stage he will smack your butt

a gentle tap

he says it’s for good luck 

#Fred Weasley #fred weasley headcanons #Fred Weasley imagine #fred weasly x reader #Harry Potter imagines

[zuffer-weird-girl]

"You will be in my heart"

(A/n): Phill Collins bless your soul for this song.

Dabi is a todoroki theory is in here. Wow, and it shocks no one.

Having a baby is not easy.

Fuck those books for newly parents whose said "Having a baby does not give much work", no. Hell no. Ever smelled a dirty diaper? Its gross. Plenty of gross. SUPER GROSS. Pukes, drools you name it.

Yet you couldn't be more happier. Your daughter Rei despite being a troublemaker was the light of your life. And for her father, her little firecrackers. A stupid nickname for a baby, but oh well, that's the man you fell for.

"Dabi-" you called from the kitchen after washing the dishes, damn sink washed you along with it "Stop teaching Rei about how awfull Enji is-" you giggled "Probably she will never meet him!"

He turned to look at you over his shoulder, his baby girl on the middle of his legs as she pointed at the hero on the screen and ocasionally mumbled irritated and angry baby noises.

The damage was done.

"She at least is learning about the fake hero society. Cant disagree with me that Enji is a completely as-"

"Dabi." You scolded but smiled no pess as hs smirked before Rei started to babble on his lap, extending her chubby hands at his face.

"What now lil' firecracker? Tired of seing Enji's face I see. Dont worry. I get sick from sieng him to." He grabbed her bu her armpits and nuzzled his pierced nose along with hers making her giggled "Yes, daddy does."

"I wonder how the league would react to seing you all mushy with a baby like that." You giggled while sitting down on his side as he only glanced at you with a poker face.

Rei extended her arms at you and let out a baby laugh. Cooing, you picked up your daughter with glee in your lap. Dabi still playing with her tiny fingers along with his own much bigger ones.

"Her hair is getting bigger." You tussled on the few red looks of Rei "Maybe is time for her first haircut, what do you think?" You looked at Dabi whose probably was way too distracted with Reu to even pay attention on you.

You were so relieved that even despite showing signs that he was aprehensive at the idea, Dabi still welcomed Rei with open arms. The only problem was that, deep inside his sarcastic and thick skull, was this unconditional fear of being the same father Endeavour was. Give his kid the same treatment he received as a brat once.

It always followed him around like a ghost. But in the moment he saw Rei's eyes or heard your words... he was on cloud nine. The happines he hadn't gotten in his early years was right there, literally on his hands as he played with the bundle of joy that was Rei.

"Sorry to interrupt you two." You giggled at the confused sound Dabi let out before looking at the clock. Sighing and getting up.

"Guess is your turn to put her to sleep." He said begrudily, making you laugh since you never saw someone fight over to put their child to sleep first. You two had to make an agrement that each time Rei was going to sleep, you had to divide.

"My turn~" you poked your tongue out at him as he deadpanned while you carried Rei to her crib.

After some time, you two decided to have some, ahem, alone time and it let you two quite exausted. Making you both to just knocked out on the bed... especially since dabi was eager to touch in any way he could.

In other words, fast and rough yet pleasant ass fuck. Okay? Okay, moving on.

Although that peace lasted for only a short of minutes before you heard little cries from the other room of the apartment. Both of you groaned even at the thought of getting out of the bed.

When you tried to get off from his chest he just pulled you back as you groaned.

"Dabi, Rei is-"

"I will go. Stay here doll face." He got up while carefully laying you back down on the bed, his smirk present as the light of the streets iluminated his face. "After all, I bet you're exausted after me doing-"

"Just go you dickhead." You threw a pillow at him as he chuckled quietly, leaving your body relax on the cold sheets and without his warm body to help you.

The blankets werent enough. Is not even about to get warm, but is only for getting physical and emotionally close to ex-villain you happen to fall in love with.

Getting to know the real Toya Dabi was like founding a diamond on the middle of a bunch of coals. Due to his past, no one could ever blame this man to secluded to himself, have trust issues and have a deep anger angst the fake and popular hero society that everyone always venerate.

The man behind that sarcastic, cold and uncaring persona was a dork. No, really, Dabi is a dork. A loveable dorky idiot. You loved him, and you only fell more for the scarred man when he demonstrate all the love and care for that little human being that had your genetics along with his.

Lost on your thoughts, you furrowed your eyebrows at seeing that dabi hadn't come back in more than one hour. Sighing, you got up and went after Dabi and your Rei.

Although, when you were on your way you heard his voice. Probably even baby talking; yes, rarely he does that; with Rei. You tip toed until you exited your bedroom until Rei's bedroom door frame and poked your head only to see Dabi, stoic face as usual as he rocked the baby in his arms, maintaining eye contact with the infant.

"One last time and you have to sleep. Deal?" He whispered while poking Rei's nose whose shrieked cutely before babbling and clapping her hands "Deal."

You furrowed your eyebrows at his worlds before widening your eyes at hearing and seeing Dabi swoon on his feet with Rei on his arms and doing the last thing you thought he could do.

Sing.

"Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight." He took one of his hands and showed nonchantly to his daughter whose cooed and grabbed at two of his fingers with her baby hands.

"I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry~" he hushed her when she started to babble while still on his motions.

"For one so small

You seem so strong

My arms will hold you

Keep you safe and warm" he brought her close to hsi face and did the same thing he did earlier with the esquimos kisses as she reached for his face to try to pick his staples, you giggled behind your hand and luckily Dabi didn't noticed you.

"This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here

Don't you cry" Rei, after a lifetime, finally let out a yawn and cuddled on her father's chest for warmth as you envy her for a moment.

"'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart, always..." he whispered teh last word as he notices she finally closed her eyes and puffs of air as he sighed in relief. Slowly and carefully putting her back to the crib... not leaving until he carresed her cheek with two fingers before getting out with hands stuffed on his pockets.

The poor man almost set you on fire when he saw you when he closed the door.

"You're have the courage to set the mother of your kid on fire?!" You giggled after jumping in guard whem he started to use his quirk.

"Dont scare me to death, I thought you were asleep." He turned down the flames and looked at you, smilling like a dork at him as he squinted his eyes and glared at you. "How much did you hear?"

"All of it." You smirked.

You had to settled down your laughter just tonort wake up your sleeping daughter at seing the all big and bad Dabi blush at being caught singing a music to his baby.

#dabi x reader #imagine dabi #dabi imagine #bnha villains #bnha villains x reader #bnha fanfic #bnha characters #dabi #bnha au...? sorta? #zuffer writings

[chaoticpete]

Dark Paradise

Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Warnings: character death, angst, get your tissues ready

Song inspiration: Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey

“Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side”

You sit on your bed, engagement ring swirling along your finger, a sad smile on your lips as you hear the very laughter you fell in love with.

“You div! That’s way too much sugar! What are you trying to do, give us diabetes?” “You can’t say anything Y/n. Haven’t you ever seen him make pancakes?” You hear Harry say from behind the camera and the others laugh.

The memory runs through your mind as if it was just yesterday. For once everyone was home and wanted to do something, so the boys decided to host a baking contest and live stream it. It eventually became a donation project for The Brothers Trust.

It was you and Haz vs. Sam and Tom. Tuwaine and Harry were the judges (which you still thought was unfair since Sam was a professional).

You didn't even notice when your cheeks had gotten wet.

Hitting the spacebar, the video freezes.

You couldn’t help but smile back at the face smiling at you. A big, cheeky smile makes his face, and his eyes have crinkles at the end. Blue eyes staring as if he’s actually there looking at you.

Those blue eyes.

His blue eyes.

You’ll never forget the first time you guys met. He already made you nervous and the fact that he was actually interested and intrigued with what you had to say, staring intensely with those blue eyes of his.

Before you could anymore you began to feel a heavy way as if someone warped their arms around you.

Like how Haz used to wrap his arms around you.

A small knock is heard on your room door before a mop of brown hair sticks its head in. “Love? Are you ready?”

Wiping your eyes, you look up at Tom before taking a deep breath and nodding. Standing up you feel almost a cool breeze as if someone was holding you had just suddenly let go.

“You’re ok?” Tom asked as you suddenly began to look around as if you had no idea where you were.

“Yeah, yeah. Um, we should get going.” You say pushing past him to get out the door. Tom looks over at your laptop seeing what you watched before following you out.

Tom glances over at you from the driver's side. “Do you wanna go get lunch after this? The guys at the pub have been asking for you.” He says looking back on the road.

“I just wanna go back home. Thanks tho, tell them I say hi.” You say looking out the window.

When you arrive, you both get out after Tom parks silence between the two of you. “Ready?” Tom asks handing you the flowers. “I don’t think I ever will be.” You say giving him a small smile before kneeling down to the ground coming face to face with the stone.

Tom walks away to give the two of you a moment alone.

“Hey haz, I know it’s been a while. I always say I’ll come to see you more often but, it’s not exactly the easiest thing you know?”

“I still talk to you every day.” A bitter laugh leaves your throat. “I can’t believe it’ll be almost two years ago when what should’ve been the best day of my life turned into the worst.”

You finally look up making contact with the stone.

Harrison John Osterfield. Loving son, brother, best friend, and fiancé. 4 July 1996 - 16 March 2021.

You still remember every detail as if it was yesterday. It seemed as if Haz has just called you saying that they were on their way just a bit of traffic but he couldn’t wait to be able to take you away with him that night as “Mr. Y/n L/n.”

“You’re such a dork.” You giggle as you watch the dress hanging across the room. The dress that will help represent one of the biggest changes in your life. “Yes, but your dork. Wish I could control time so I can speed it up for us to be together faster.” “So hurry and get here so we can begin.” You teased.

Exchanging I love yous, you go and finish getting ready.

Then you received the news. It was as if time had actually stopped. You couldn’t hear anything. Feel anything. You watch as his mom and sister sit on the couch in the room.

Snapping out of it you quickly grab your slippers and purse running out of there. ‘This can’t be happening, this is just one, awful cruel prank.’ You tell yourself hopping in the car not even caring if all of your dress made it in before you took off.

Honestly, you had no idea how you made it to the hospital in one piece so quickly. Gathering your dress you ran up to the receptionist. “I’m looking for a guy who was in an accident recently. His name is Harrison Osterfield, 5’10, blue eyes light brown hair.” You managed to get out.

“Are you family?” It took you everything in you not to reach over that desk and violently choke her.

“Do you not see this ring and my dress?!” You say trying to keep your voice low. At this point, the tears are violently falling from your eyes. “In a few hours, I was supposed to tell that man how much I love him and how much he means the world to me! So can you please tell me where he is?”

The nurse's face softens noticing that you are in fact a bride. A bride that looks like they've been to hell and back, but a bride. And the love of your life was laying in a hospital bed, not even sure if he would make it.

“Y/n.” You hear from behind you. Turning around you see Tom. Running up to him he quickly pulls you into a hug. “Tom, what happened?” “I don’t know. One second he’s behind me, next he wasn’t. The prick was coming from the opposite direction and ran the light.”

“I see you everywhere Haz. Every timenurse's I close my eyes, it becomes my own dark paradise. Just me and you.” You pull out his wedding band from your pocket placing it on the stone.

“We’ll be back together very soon.”

You walk back to Tom as the two of you begin heading to the car.

“Tom, do you believe what they say about when you die, you wear what you die in forever?”

“Possibly, why?”

“No reason. Just thinking about how Harrison will always be looking dapper.”

Later you close the bathroom mirror cabinet, watching your reflection.

Looking back at you as if it’s your wedding day all over again.

You’re almost surprised the dress still fit.

“I hope you’re waiting for me on the other side Haz.”

‘Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine

But I wish I was dead”

Harrison tag list:

@frenchfrostpudding @holland-styles @cherry-hyejin @tommyunderoos @gwenvrse @allegra-writes @kitkatd7 @buckys-other-punk

#harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x you #harrison x reader #harrison osterfield angst #angst #chaoticpete writes #haz x reader #song fic #dark paradise

[cooltrainererika]

A Star Wars Noob’s ideas for fixing the Disney sequels

Okay so just to get this out there, because it won’t leave my mind.

So I’ve been binging on SW lately and the sequels only annoy me more and more by the day. So just wanted to throw my character ideas out into the world. Focusing on characters because I like writing characters way more than plot. Hopefully if I ever actually write this thing, or even somehow pitch it to someone with the right connections to animate it with the actors as voice actors, this wouldn’t have gone viral. But since no one looks at my blog it probably won’t lol. Hopefully.

But just in case, I’ll say that this will probably contain spoilers for a story which may or may not exist by the time you read this.

I’ve deliberately been trying to avoid as much emotional spoilers and normal spoilers as I can before the sequels despite the temptation, so sorry if some stuff is a bit off. Augh I hope I can get the time to watch the full OT and PT soon. I was too tired from hiking when I watched SW4 and I now really wish my dad didn’t show me when I was half-asleep.

Rey: Rainbow of possibilities; Cynical Scavenger, Adventure-seeking Audience Surtogate Geek, or Lawful Good to the core Paladin Padawan with a personal grudge, and may be descended from a family line, maybe not, but currently most likely a Skywalker by blood. Story and other character arcs change dramatically depending on which route chosen.

Finn: Stoic soldier man learns power of friendship, finds meaning of life, causes Stormtrooper mutiny, probably becomes a Jedi and second main character and hooks up with Rey. “What‘s a joke?”. Awkward dork and stunted socially but doing his best. May instinctively find it hard to disobey orders. He may be the one wanting to find his family; but that’s dropped soon enough to focus on what’s ahead. 

(Alternatively: Proud warrior guy who acts like a stereotypical North Korean soldier who finds himself outside the First Order, learns power of friendship etc. The rest is the same)

Poe Dameron: What we Japanese people call The Aniki. The funny charismatic ace pilot who keeps everyone sane, overall bro. Wholesome but a bit rough, that guy you would want to share a beer with. But within that easygoing nature burns a hotblooded, determined, dutiful streak, and an even stronger snarky streak. The one with the social skills. Loves his droid like his son though Cynical!Rey and Finn find that initially kind of stupid/strange. 

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: Appears to be yet another quietly imposing Star Wars villain with added edgelord factor, but actually a mentally unstable, borderline yandere berserker of a man crushed under the weight of a legacy, with a horrifying inferiority complex, identity issues, and an unhealthy obsession with familial honor, constantly stuck between Dark and Light. Despite his high rank, basically the First Order’s attack dog. Usually has the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old, if not younger. If anyone is, he’s the damsel in distress of this story.

Luke Skywalker: Cuddly sunshine headmaster sage doing his best, has been on many adventures before that are hidden ads to future Lucasfilm projects. May have gone to search for answers as to what is causing recent events, or is still present at the beginning. May survive at the end. He could be anywhere from kind of jaded but at his core still that sweet optimist, to Basically Uncle Iroh, to can-literally-summon-Porgs-by-whistling/Space Sage Mr. Rogers.

Han Solo: General of the Republic Armed Forces or courier who decided military life just wasn’t for him and now delivers important messages through still unstable areas of the New Republic, a war hero, and a dad doing his best. Wants to hold hope but may have at least outwardly given up on Ben, with Poe filling in the void. Has gone clean from his life of crime and still married 30+ years strong with Leia. He would be the one who is the closest to Poe if he’s still in the military and Leia is a Jedi, with Poe being seen as his likely successor. He might die at the end of 8? Maybe Hamill and Carrie would somehow talk him into sticking around past 7? He might still die in 7?

(Side note: I wish we could have seen Old Harrison Ford in a military casual coat-cape. He would have looked awesome in it. I mean no one would really complain that he plays fast and loose with the dress code if there even is one, he’s Han freakin’ Solo and he gives no f*cks.)

Leia Organa-Solo: Preferably a Jedi Knight, leader while he’s away if he’s away as well as their tactician, or senator considering her personality; maybe have basically what Colin Trevorrow planned for her (I mean… why not just use CGI at this point? They’ve done it before. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t have wanted her swan song to be such a passive role either), with her bond with Luke being a major factor and us actually being able to see it in practice. May have outwardly given up on her son as well, but still is at the end of the day a mom doing her best. Basically a strong, smart lady like how she’s always been.

Chewbacca: How he always is, but he plays more of a role than basically the guy bussing the cast around, an active combat role definitely. Han’s second in command and maybe fellow dad. Possibly the part-time chaperone of the mess that is the new main duo. Also was Ben’s first friend, and you bet there will be drama here.

Lando Calrissian: Business mogul who probably helps the heroes out, maybe by selling them stuff and using his many connections to get information. And/or he’s basically an economic diplomat for the Republic. Has known Ben since he was a child and may have snuck him on too many joyrides without telling Leia, to her chagrin and Han’s amusement. 

Grand Admiral Armitage Hux: Basically how he was in SW7. Calculating, manipulative, coldhearted, intelligent, and ruthless, the brains to Kylo’s brawn. Son of former Imperial officers, killed his own father to get where he is. Gives no f*cks, except when he goes full ham. Maybe even he goes cold and pale if Kylo starts getting angry, just to show how terrifying he can be, but I also like the idea of him being one of two people who can manipulate Kylo out of a tantrum and not end up a pile of flesh or choked to death. 

Captain Phasma: How she is in supplemental material probably. A walking chrome machine of merciless death. Probably not very talkative, and probably does not take defectors lightly. She may defect at the end or not depending on how truly evil she’s portrayed to be, but I’m thinking she’s likely this cruel disciplinarian who expects complete and utter, machine-like obedience to the end, and Finn flinches at the mere mention of her, though she herself is equally as extremely loyal to the cause.

Snoke: A mysterious being, the likes of which are not of this galaxy. Probably some kind of ancient eldritch abomination who can torment vulnerable minds with an untraceable curse. Not your average Sith, and despite how it may seem it may not be connected to them at all… Or perhaps it is. Or perhaps it itself serves a larger master. It wants to use Kylo Ren for… something. Just what it is is what Luke has been trying to find out for years.

Knights of Ren: Idea borrowed from Thor Skywalker (check him out on YouTube!); possibly a military cult of Sith/Vader worshippers who see Ben as the second coming of Vader, and have aligned themselves with Snoke. Probably basically Kylo’s personal guard and troops. Or possibly directly liked to whatever otherworldly entit(ies?) Snoke is, not being of this galaxy themselves.

Anakin Skywalker: Determined grandpa doing his best for his kids, grandkid(s), and the galaxy. Doesn’t appear often, but plays a major role in the story; maybe he’s the one who led Rey to his lightsaber, and maybe he advises Luke while training Rey, or secretly follows Kylo, trying to speak to him but unable to be seen or heard by him. He’d be the one who ultimately convinces Ben to return to the light, and to, in an echo of the words Ben heard when he was being impersonated, “finish what I started”.

Rose Tico: A probably relatively new, wide-eyed young recruit in the Republic Military, and maybe seeks revenge on First Order for killing or kidnapping her sister. Not sure if she will be needed, but if there’s room for her she might be interesting. Maybe she’s one of Poe’s friends or part of his squad. She could also be the resident girly girl because there aren’t many of those here. 

Vice-Admiral Amberlyn Holdo: She’s in the Aftermath books, and those seem pretty good, so she’s probably how she is there. A quirky mostly background character that is probably at most there for Han and/or Leia and Ackbar to give commands to and salute back, but most importantly she actually does her job properly, even if she’s still a bit of an odd person. Also Poe knows her and they have a way more amicable work relationship. Also give her something which actually looks like something military personnel would wear. She could even be a legitimately good tactician who comes up with off-the-wall tactics.

(Side note: I heard that she basically has the Star Wars version of Autism, and while I’d appreciate that as an Aspie myself, I’ll also have to say that Autistic people would probably be terrible military leaders due to us not being able to adjust to sudden changes well and our bad communication skills. So yeah, sorry, unless she’s recast to something like, say, a mechanic or logistics or medic or any other more Autistic-friendly job, that’s going to have to go)

Maz Kanada: …Admittedly not sure what to do with her. But she’s more likely to be an acquaintance of Lando before Han, if she doesn’t know both. In fact, Lando may be introduced early alongside her. But she would still have the important role of keeping Anakin’s saber; how she has it, either Lando found it, or basically what was cut from TFA showing that she’s indeed pretty awesome. 

BB-8: BB-8 doesn’t have to change. He’s perfect as he is. Maybe what he can do should be more consistent though. Poe and him are basically Ash and Pikachu, they stick together whenever possible. If Rey or Finn need a droid to tag along and Poe isn’t in the party at the moment, R2 is right there. I once read a fanfic in which BB-8 was actually a droid Luke made for Ben and I liked the idea… though it probably would be a bit of an unnecessary detail in practice.

R2-D2 and C3P0: They’re basically business as usual. They would still have that boke-tsukkomi dynamic they had going on, sometimes with the added childlike cuteness of BB-8 in the mix. If there’s any extra time left for comic relief scenes, or if they’re sent on some kind of mission together, I can see these three messing around doing their thing (or rather, BB being childlike, cute and curious, Threepio being overly nervous, and Artoo being too old for this sh*t and/or BB’s cool uncle/older brother) being both cute and hilarious.

Also Worldbuilding stuff will be featured at the bottom

Elaboration on the “big four” of the sequel cast:

Rey: Aged 19, speaks with Daisy Ridley’s normal accent, not RP (I mean really, her accent isn’t that hard to understand). A whole rainbow of possibilities with this lady, though many don’t realize it. I might be leaning towards her being Luke’s daughter, though her being Just Rey may also be interesting, and her still being a descendant of Palpatine or the main villain could also have potential, though if Finn is a Jedi I don’t think there’s any need for her parents to be nobody. But the three main routes I can think of for her are these three: Cynical!Rey, a Rey with a backstory identical to the canon Rey from her abandonment onwards, Fangirl!Rey, a sort of estimation of a dorky female Star Wars nerd in-universe and the most lighthearted start out of the three, and Padawan!Rey, a Rey who is already Luke’s Padawan at his academy. Maybe making her starting point less crushingly bleak and Fangirl!Rey could work, but it might dilute both ideas, and that characterization might be a bit too similar to ANH Luke. 

As is apparent, Cynical!Rey, is, well, cynical. She’s strong and independent, but extremely distrusting, on-edge, and not used to friendly interaction. Think Female SW4 Han Solo but even more antisocial and probably not even bothering with the bravado, and basically with Anakin’s upbringing except she doesn’t even have a loving mother like Anakin did. Fangirl!Rey was my initial idea but I’m starting to become less partial to it because of the aforementioned similarity to ANH Luke, but my idea was she’s basically Harry Potter, living with stepparents who hate her, or she’s still used as basically child labor but her conditions are nowhere near as bad as Cynical Rey’s, and she would have grown up on stories about the Rebels and the Jedi and everything else in the past movies, collecting every single bit of memorabilia she can get her hands on. If one wants to go for very lighthearted and slightly meta for SW7 this is the route. Padawan!Rey could go anywhere, but I’m thinking she would basically be our D&D Paladin; ever since Ben Solo went berserk and ran off to join the First Order, she’s become very protective of her fellow students and has a really understandable personal grudge against him. She might be the strongest pupil left after the Second Jedi Massacre, and by the end maybe she becomes the successor to headmaster of the academy. It is possible that she was found abandoned on Jakku or Luke’s doorstep, however, so the theme of growing up lonely is there, and because being a Jedi is what has given her meaning in life it means a lot to her. But while I don’t want her parentage to be revealed early if it is Luke, it does raise the massive plot hole of why this was never disclosed to her or to Ben. 

And yes, I did say fellow students and academy. Wiping the new Jedi Order feels really cheap and it makes the whole hopeful Jedi Starting Anew implication that I’m 90% sure the OT ended on feel very pointless. I’d prefer them still being there, though their inclusion would be obviously way more natural in the Padawan Route. This also has tons of marketing potential for Disney, because I wanted to take IRL realism into account; what’s in it for Disney? Maybe potential to expand on other students and Luke’s academy? It could be like a smaller Jedi Hogwarts/Xavier Institute basically. Though the survivors wouldn’t be too numerous; just, like, four at most. Maybe there would be elements of an Avengers/Infinity War/Endgame-esque team movie, even if the rest are a bit out of focus.

I did think maybe the heroes would still go to Ahch-To after SW7 where Luke would have been hiding with his students researching the new threat, but maybe I could have him stay and sort of take a few cues from Harry Potter by introducing the heroes to the world of the Jedi early and giving them a break in the action as they settle in their new homes, so there’s more time to develop the padawan side characters, what the academy is like, and Luke gets to appear in SW7 as well so there can be a OT trio “reunion” (not a reunion in-universe). Though that kind of messes with other parts I want to include like Rey and Finn having to take on Kylo and getting completely whipped because he’s a rampaging madman before having to be saved by Luke. Also Rey getting kidnapped has potential for developing her trust in others, and her and Finn getting a breather moment at the Republic after the heroes and Han regroup would kind of remove a point where that could be easily slotted in the story. It would also require everything before this to be crammed in the first act. 

(Newer edit 5/27/21)  I also like her getting a golden double-bladed saber like many fans depict her. It’s not only awesome looking (because she only gets her own saber at the end of TROS… Why?), but it’s more toys for the moichendise! It fits her starting with a staff, it has more reach, and it would fit Cynical Rey especially for her to have a style centered around keeping as much of herself defended as possible. Watching Battlefront 2 footage has made me think about fighting styles a bit, and if she and Finn are a duo how their styles of combat might compliment each other, especially as their relationship develops (coincidentally she and Finn apparently are a very good combination in BF2). A Cynical Rey would probably contrast the most, with a fighting style based on keeping enemies away, trickery, and defense (a good choice for a blade made of light), maybe a bit wild at first but initially her goal in fighting would be to hold out until there is an opening to get the hell out, only staying to fight if she has no other option. Fangirl Rey wouldn’t really have a fighting style initially, and it’s gonna be very dependent on where her arc goes. Padawan Rey would have the most Prequel Jedi-esque, choreographed style, showing a lot of skill though not quite mastering it and with tons of openings at first. A Cynical Rey may have an uncanny skill to detect suspicious people, which would make her trusting the heroes easier, and though this ability isn’t super strong and is more “a slight gut feeling but it could be nothing” than “human lie detector” it could maybe be honed more. And while not quite wall vision like in BF2 (because wat? Where do they come up with this stuff?), maybe she’s good at detecting people’s presences too. These are very apt ambient skills for someone in her position. Meanwhile, Fangirl!Rey would have probably suspected she had the Force already, and her ambient abilities could be whatever, just rather passive abilities unless trained. 

If she is Luke’s daughter though, that would open up the can of worms of who her mother is. Just making it so that she died before the events of SW7 might seem a bit… unfortunate? I kind of want Luke to have found love sometime (and seriously with how much of a bombshell young Luke was, in addition to him being such a hero, I’m shocked that he never got one. I can see why Mara Jade wanted a piece of that. *wolf whistle*), but then I’d have to figure out how to incorporate her in this already character-dense story without her having cheaply died offscreen. I might be able to think of something? I could always go digging in the dusty pile of old fan theories, I might find something good. Thor Skywalker did hint at her but his story stopped at the end of where SW8 would have. If I do name her Mara there’s probably going to be extra pressure to do something with her. …But I can’t be the only one who thinks that Daisy Ridley kind of looks like Natalie Portman. Then again I’m pretty face-blind. I guess blond hair and blue eye color genes are also recessive traits for Star Wars humans. Though it seems the height genes skipped a generation because she’s actually pretty tall for a woman at 170 cm - I’m sorry what. That’s as tall as the average Japanese man! Holy sh*t Daisy! She only looks a bit small because she’s often depicted with Kylo and Kylo makes everyone not Phasma look diminutive. I guess Ben would get it from Anakin and Han (though he’s still taller than both of them…), so maybe a taller actress would be cast as Mara (?). And despite Rey’s malnourishment in the Cynical route, this actually isn’t that implausible, because stunted growth apparently only happens if children are deprived from gestation to about 2 years of age. 

And again, why wouldn’t Ben know about this? But if this isn’t the Padawan!Rey route (the hardest to incorporate Rey The Actual Skywalker into), maybe Ben took Rey’s assumed death as even more of a reason to burden himself with the entire Skywalker legacy? This would give him a reason to already care about her.

Further edits: According to the Aftermath books, Jakku was a “Lightside Nexus” planet. Maybe this has to do with her powers? (Perhaps she was kept sane by the Force speaking to her on occasion, in dreams or as she lies staring at the ceiling after a long day, showing her the loving life she used to live and unknown to her she will return to someday). Or why she was dropped there? Maybe she was supposed to be living with Lor San Tekka (the old guy Kylo kills at the beginning of TFA), but got lost one day or was kidnapped by bandits to be a scavenger because her small size would have been perfect for getting loot from small spaces? Why not take her back then? This probably is one of the biggest plot knots in the Cynical Rey Skywalker route, alongside who her mother is.  

Small detail lightning round before moving on: I once read a Japanese fic, and in it she mentioned she hates alcohol because she saw how it turned people into monsters. I actually kind of liked this headcanon, and maybe a bit unexpected. Though there’s also the route of her just being too used to it, setting her apart from previous more wholesome protagonists even more.  Also Daisy would have to start hitting the gym and protein shakes because I think her character design evolving from her thin build to a very athletic, Wonder Woman-esque body type would be pretty good in representing her growth as a character, and combined with her height she would be so very badass looking. 

Finn: Probably around 23? Infamous for lost potential, so his backstory is the same. However, I’m thinking that due to his dehumanizing upbringing, he’s a bit robotic and pretty stoic initially, a total opposite to Poe. He doesn’t understand jokes or sarcasm, and now that he’s completely left the life he’s always known, he feels pretty lost. He would basically act like a male Rei Ayanami, though I was going more for Drax at first. Alternatively, he’s a proud warrior type, imagine a stereotypical North Korean/Prussian soldier. He’d be a bit more emotional and probably less cartoonish here (I mean I have compared Star Wars to anime but full-on anime tropes in live action probably looks super corny), and he’s a massive hardass who also doesn’t get sarcasm or jokes and fanatical and would have thought of his fellow soldiers as a collective as his band of brothers and comrades, collectively serving the FO like a smoothly running machine. My initial thought was that after a life of war crimes and the influence a certain pilot whose cell he was guarding who gave him his name, and maybe witnessing the death of a comrade, he had defected from the FO, but I started thinking it would be plausible if he defected from the FO probably by accident. Highly likely to be the second protagonist, if not POV character, and if so I think it’s logical that it’s Finnrey that becomes the canon ship here. In the Padawan!Rey route, he’s the newcomer protagonist, not Rey. If they’re shipped, or even as friends, they may bond over their dehumanizing, harsh backgrounds and the feeling of being lost in the world. Also he likely starts a mutiny. Like it was such an obvious plot point but they never use it for some bizarre reason. It’s like the DM didn’t read his character sheet at all. Actually one didn’t and the other kept forgetting it in the third campaign.

There’s two ways I think his arc could go; first would be a focus mainly on his search for identity and becoming his own person. Second, his guilt about having done the First Order’s bidding for so long. Probably a combination of the two, though I’m not sure how to address them both. He also wants to see his colleagues free from slavery. But I am sure about I’d that he’d have to overcome his conditioning, learning to regain his humanity.

Especially if Rey is a Skywalker and he becomes a Jedi, he’d be the one who the movie makes a point about being from nowhere. He has no idea who his parents are, but it would not even matter in the end, it’s what he makes of his life from here on out. And if he and Rey end up together, which is extremely likely in this scenario, he not only finds his family in the figurative sense with the other Jedi and his new friends plus girlfriend, but in the literal sense as well, going from nameless Stormtrooper FN-2187, to just Finn the ex-Stormtrooper, to Finn the Padawan and then Jedi Knight, to finally, Finn Skywalker, Jedi Knight; maybe the last movie ends with one of them proposing to the other, with SW8 having previously ended with the climactic big damn kiss that cemented that they are a thing now. (Cue Luke jokingly asking when he’s getting grandchildren and How It Should Have Ended!Anakin squeeing over him getting great-grandchildren lol) His name would have this real symbolic value to it with how it changes as he goes from nobody to somebody. Not to mention “Finn Skywalker” is just a freakin’ awesome name. If they make up the leading duo, he and Rey may have some kind of inherent connection, or they progress into two parts of the same whole, even attaining something like a Dyad.

I thought an interesting thing to do if Rey is a Skywalker, and this is Cynical Rey, is a twist on the expected pattern by making him the one who sees the good in Kylo, not Rey. Because while Rey might be his cousin, she’s also a very distrustful person who couldn’t afford to think deeply about people act the way they do when she was growing up and fighting to survive. Meanwhile, Finn knows Kylo, and he also knows what it’s like to be determined to be a killing machine from a very young age, and if he has to forgive himself, or if he’s able to see the light, that Kylo deserves a chance as well. It would be the ultimate show of kindness from him, to show him forgiving the man who works so loyally under the same organization that enslaved him. I can also see Kylo being angry at himself for being unable to sense the Force-Sensitive in their midst. 

Maybe he was born on a “Lightside nexus” planet too so that it makes sense that he can keep up with other characters? Presuming he’s in his early 20s, I don’t think him being raised by the Order since he was a baby is that plausible, so maybe he was already an orphan? I can see the First Order spinning their Stormtrooper program kidnapping street orphans as “rehabilitating” them, which combined with good old Victorian style citizen apathy to street children allows them to get away with it. But if he was, say, around 6 years old when he was taken away, it would make sense why he was able to break out of his programming. Perhaps Poe showing him friendship awoke the humanity long dormant in him. But on the other hand, the younger, adolescent soldiers may be beyond saving, and I can see that being absolutely heartbreaking. 

I can see his fighting style with a saber being direct, forceful, and pragmatic, but unlike Rey the emphasis would be on engaging and keeping up the fight, and be very disciplined, calculated, and controlled in contrast to Cynical Rey. At least he’d attempt it while he gets used to the properties of a lightsaber, before there would probably be a lot of awkwardness as John is directed to swing this weightless prop blade with a weighted hilt like he would a club or sword. If he isn’t a Force Sensitive, he’s a good sniper just like in BF2, in fact this would be his primary combat ability, though still able to hold his own in melee combat. Though even as a Jedi he’d probably still use a gun as a sidearm, and his good aim would also translate to him being very good at spotting openings and spotting danger from a distance, as well as enhanced ability to dodge. 

Poe Dameron: Age 29 (?). A total bro. I’ve kind of come to think of him as this embodiment of the good, wholesome side of traditional masculinity. I can best describe him as the guy you expect to think of when you think of the guy who takes the boys to the bar for beers on the house and hosts Super Bowl night (for the Americans out there). Basically just that big bro/cool uncle everyone likes. I think he’s the least changed from how he is in SW7; he’s a laid-back pilot with no special powers, and while he’s probably the most static and admittedly flat character (and unfortunately more minor than the other two) he has tons of charisma and optimism to compensate, though being the one who keeps everyone sane definitely helps. Not to mention his piloting skills; which, note, are never eclipsed by Rey, because that’s dumb. His skills are a bit more downplayed here, but he’s still extremely good, especially for his age. Despite being the pilot he’s the most down-to-earth, and may be the only one of the big four with any social skills, even if he’s a bit dorky, especially regarding BB-8. 

Son of Rebel pilots, graduated top of his class in the Republic Flight Academy, and his background is squeaky clean, no drug trading involved, though he spent a lot of his adolescence and his adulthood in the Academy or in the military, just like in pre-TROS supplementary material. He’s the main source of jokes and wisecracks out of the trio in all but the most dorky of Fangirl!Rey routes probably, teaching Cynical!Rey and Finn what it’s like to smile and laugh. He still has a close relationship with Leia and Han; possibly closer to the latter due to the latter being a pilot and likely still a General. Not sure about him keeping his rank because him starting and staying at the top might mesh awkwardly with the rest of the trio, but maybe he’s still a Commander; whichever makes his inclusion in the main cast most plausible. Due to an adorable Pixiv comic I found he may have been inspired to become a pilot by Luke or Han. I’d like to think that he breaks the hotshot pilot cliché a bit by not being too overly arrogant, immediately setting himself apart from Han by being a wholesome guy there for his buddies from the start, even if he is fond of wisecracking and snarkiness (probably from hanging around Han and Leia), and inside that laid-back personality lies a hotblooded, passionate, unwavering core. Like, he’s not exactly hotheaded like a Latin stereotype (*ahem*), but he’s got this more subtle, but still apparent, underlying fiery hotbloodedness to him, something that especially makes itself apparent in high-stress situations and when it comes to his loved ones. He’d also be Rey and Finn’s mentor of sorts in stuff that doesn’t involve the Force, being their role model for what a functional member of society is. He may make some self-depreciating jokes about being “normal”, but I think mostly he’ll take it in stride. Though I can see him and Han having a chat about this in a more quiet scene. 

Ironically, out of the trio he could maybe be said to be the most suited to be a Jedi personality-wise, despite the fact that he has no Force Sensitivity whatsoever; he goes with the flow, he isn’t troubled, he’s happy with the simple pleasures in life, he’s just a good, genuine guy who does good things, passionate but not obsessive, and he’s forgiving, willing to give even an enemy soldier a chance, appealing to the humanity in him. The last one is particularly Luke-like, don’t you think? Oh, to elaborate on the escape; I still like the idea of him giving Finn his name (though another idea I love is a fallen friend giving Finn his name, that would change stuff around a lot from what I am thinking at this moment). I also think that perhaps supplemental material or some flashbacks, or even an animated short could be made showing just how Poe broke Finn’s programming; by showing him genuine kindness, because somehow, despite his lack of Force Sensitivity, he saw that FN-2187 could be talked out of his programming if he was constantly nice to him, befriending him, starting up casual chatter with him, and after a while the trooper starts opening up to this pilot. …Yeah, Luke-like indeed. Though since there is the plot hole of why Finn could be convinced in mere days and why he’s the only one guarding such a high-profile prisoner, a more realistic idea may be that they talk to each other this way a few times, then Poe escapes and Finn goes after him before they both crash on Jakku and have to work together, with Poe immediately being friendly with Finn and later Rey, to his (and her) confusion. (I can just imagine Poe being all chipper and trying to engage Finn in conversation, or telling him “Good job, sport!” after they fight off bandits or something, and Finn just is all deadpan and “We are enemies, we have no reason to fraternize” and I find that kind of cute).

He may ultimately be the most static of the main cast, but I can see him having a huge impact in more subtle ways; like maybe Rey and Finn think of what Poe might do in a given situation in their training, and he could be the catalyst behind why Finn thinks that Kylo can be redeemed, just like how Poe was able to light another way when it felt like there was only one path for him. He also definitely wouldn’t be the type to be so reckless with his men like he was in TLJ, if he’s still a Commander; he cares about his men a lot, and in fact they may be the reason why he tends to act like an older brother. I can imagine a pretty poignant scene with Finn where Finn sees Poe by himself and BB-8 paying respects to his fallen comrades by this handmade cenotaph, as he sets some flowers down and pours a drink to them, and Finn once again is able to see how different the culture outside the First Order is, as he would have never been mourned like that if he died on the battlefield, nor can he imagine he ever would have done so himself. Or maybe Rey is there too, because if this is Cynical Rey she’s only known a life where people exploited each other. Maybe other characters like Jessika (who he’s already close to I think? Did she show up in the movies though?) or Rose would have the opportunity to be more than background characters by being part of his crew, and we’d get some charming scenes about the bond he has with his squadron.

Again, admittedly he’d be the least deep character out of the big four, with his feelings not being explored nearly as much. But he probably doesn’t really hide his feelings much anyway. For any supplementary shorts involving him, they would be mainly lighter stories about his relationship with the OT cast and their families and his friendship with BB-8 and his crew, or action-y ones about missions he’s gone on; as opposed to, say, Finn, which would show his life as an expendable trooper who knew nothing but war, Cynical!Rey and her crushing loneliness and growing disillusionment to the world as she struggles to survive, or Padawan!Rey and her anguish and grappling with the Dark Side in the aftermath of the Jedi Massacre. 

I can also imagine him being this adorable Shipper On Deck for Finnrey lol. Just looking at his two friends, all proud, maybe even tearing up like “*sniff* I’m not crying Buddy, you’re crying!” when the inevitable big kiss scene happens. I can also imagine him being the one to tell Finn that “Hey Finn, what you’re feeling is love!”…And then he has to spend hours trying to explain what love even is to him lol. He always has his friends’ back after all. Again, he’s most likely the one guy who isn’t completely socially inept among these dorks. I’ve also had the potential idea that he could maybe be a good cook, and he’d be the one who introduces Rey and Finn to actually good food. Some fics I’ve noticed tend to show him cooking stuff probably for that reason. It’s just kind of cute, and it sets a good example if despite his traditionally masculine, salt-of-the-earth character, he likes some less “manly” stuff like such and sees no shame in it.

He may sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory towards the end, especially because quite frankly he may lose his plot relevance as the story goes on, though it would definitely be way more respectful than a lot of deaths were treated in the sequels. But I also want him to stick around because I want to imagine him being all proud of Rey and Finn after they propose to each other and giddily planning their wedding, and I feel he could have some very good interactions with Ben to build on for any spinoffs taking place after the trilogy. Speaking of…

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: AKA Yet Another Ball Of Lost Potential: Anti-Villain Addition. This is gonna be a doozy, so strap in. He was probably the most developed character here but that just makes his lost potential stick out even more, so I have so much to say about him.

About 27 probably. While people complain about it, I actually like him being a manchild. It makes him a bit unique in this series. It’s kind of like Vader if he didn’t get stuck in that suit and kept acting like Anakin. In fact, that could make him even more terrifying if that feeds into how destructive he can be; at first he seems like your typical intimidating SW villain, not even that bad a leader with a seemingly calm if tense, imposing air, but it eventually becomes clear he’s this terrifying, volatile berserker who can throw some of the most destructive tantrums ever, and is ultimately a pathetic, broken, pitiful shell of a man. …He just happens to be a very powerful shell of a man. Maybe if he becomes emotional or angry enough, he can unleash powerful shockwaves that basically blow up everything around him, or cause mini Force Storms, or cause any number of unpredictable effects. Though he’s not quite constantly raging either; these berserk states are indeed triggered by anger, but I’m thinking that they are also basically weaponized panic attacks, there’s a sense that it’s also a self-defense mechanism that he lapses into when emotions overwhelm him or when he otherwise feels threatened (though whether it’s necessarily involuntary all the time I’m not so sure; but while he’d definitely want to be able to trigger them voluntarily, there will always be some sense that he doesn’t have full control over it). Also a lot of his rage is directed inwards as well, much like with his grandfather. I thought that maybe his unpredictability in these rages would be the key to his destructiveness, though I can see how someone who is out of control would also pose a problem, no matter how powerful; so maybe this is when he becomes the most focused, becoming locked onto the elimination of the perceived threat at all costs, and/or he can be controlled by his Master more directly like some kind of attack animal. 

Luke’s first padawan, or at least after Leia or Grogu (I might make him show up as Luke’s first knighted pupil and allude to this, providing more exposition on Kylo, and being one of the Jedi who help fight in the final battle as the Skywalkers go on to take on the final boss (and Grogu’s name being revealed would be a massive hype moment in The Mandalorian)). Due to his storied family, plus the name of his uncle and grandfather’s own master, he had heavy expectations on his (at the time) small shoulders from an early age. However, he had long been tormented by the Dark Side due to an untraceable curse placed upon him by Snoke, and probably a pre-existing anxious personality. The expectations placed on him, or maybe perhaps just self-imposed expectations, only worsened his turmoil, resulting in a festering mess of self-hatred, extreme perfectionism, and an obsession with familial honor and obsessive attachment to his family, especially Luke, that is a nasty combination of hero-worship and the abovementioned complexes and may border on almost incestuous.

There’s three ways for his backstory to go; “Underachiever Ben”, where Ben is either mediocre as a Jedi or still good but outperformed by others, or “Elsa Ben”, where he’s basically like Elsa from Frozen, possessing an extreme amount of power but barely able to control it, possibly due to Snoke’s curse, and a sort of middle ground, where Ben was super strong and a quick learner, but the dark side in him made Luke feel mixed about Ben’s increasing power, which Ben sensed. If the former, Ben becomes increasingly frustrated at himself for being such a “failure”. If “Elsa Ben”, there’s that, and also the added pain of him growing up terrified of himself and able to sense the terror he causes to those around him, so he was taken in by Luke so hopefully Luke could figure something out; he could have been destructive from the start, or maybe he started to become increasingly destructive despite his training. If the middle ground route, he takes Luke’s mixed emotions to mean that he doesn’t think he’s good enough. How severe Snoke’s curse would have been I’m not fully sure on; he could have voices in his head and nightmares keeping him up for days, chipping away at his sanity, tempting him to accept the darkness, or it may have just been an amplifying of his already unstable emotions. They could have even started as the latter and escalated to the former. But I’m thinking that to best explain his behavior I’m leaning towards the Elsa route. Eventually, his nightmares morphed into repeated visits by Darth Vader, his grandfather, who told him about the truth of his lineage and how he became Vader, slandering everything and everyone he ever admired or loved, telling him of his “true” destiny, and how he should give up and embrace it; unable to hear the real Anakin’s ghost screaming at him to not repeat his mistake. This extended campaign of mental torment stunted his emotional growth in many aspects, and at times he may seem to regress even more. Maybe other padawans were afraid of him because of this dark side presence, avoiding him, and/or were jealous of him because of his lineage and relation to Luke. He often felt entitled to be Luke’s right hand, getting jealous at other students and taking any reprimanding, no matter how gentle, extremely personally. Luke would have needed to struggle between not seeming to be biased towards his nephew and giving him the attention he needed, especially because Ben would feel like Han and Leia abandoned him because they weren’t able to help him, but considering how attached he is to Luke this would hurt him. So when Luke went to speak to him one night, or rushed in sensing an overwhelming dark side presence in his room, and was suddenly attacked by Snoke with a vision of what his nephew would become and making him go into fighting mode for a split second, drawing his weapon to protect Ben, and/or earlier admitted in anguish that he had no idea what was tormenting him despite his efforts, the straw broke the pedestal and he resigned himself to his “destiny”. Ironically he’s just exchanging one sky-high ideal for another, but he’s too emotionally immature to realize this, nor does he fully realize the fact that Snoke merely sees him as a malleable, gullible means to an end. Yet he still feels that pesky pull to the light, and he becomes increasingly frustrated with himself that even as a Dark side user, he still can’t be “perfect” or “worth” anything, not even able to sink himself into the darkness and finally rid himself of his pain. For all the privilege and power he has, or because of it, he always feels worthless. 

Basically I want to break him down and make his pitifulness obvious, but that’s what makes him sympathetic. He’s nowhere as far gone as Vader, even if he wants to be, kind of like a reverse Jekyll and Hyde situation where the Hyde is dominant but Jekyll hangs on, so to speak? Maybe? Is that the right analogy? Or I guess it is kind of like Anakin but sort of not, but he’s rapidly going down the same route of hurting his family like his grandfather. 

From researching a bit, his proposed behavior seems pretty close to the symptoms of BPD, which is actually pretty fitting because I was thinking Luke’s philosophy on the Force would be influenced by a more modern understanding of psychology, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy actually seems pretty in tune with what I understand to be how the Light Side of the Force works (I mean it even has basis in religious meditation…). Perhaps a mystical version of DBT was one of the things Luke was studying in exile. Though obviously it isn’t exactly BPD; portraying an actual, named mental illness not only has way too much baggage behind it, but it breaks immersion. And with him a lot of it will be the influence of the curse, though I think I would rather him have a personality that made him vulnerable to it from the start, so the curse had something to latch onto. 

Going with the “Elsa Ben” scenario, his “real” personality is anxious and even a bit shy. While I like the idea of him being cheerful when he was very little, the shyness always being there is also a characterization I like. Combined with his lumbering physique from his teenage years onwards, this made him a kid who gave off an impression of being extremely dorky (an act that would probably be very natural for Adam Driver to pull off lol) and/or withdrawn and aloof, the latter of which may have made some other padawans think he thought highly of himself and start to resent him. Unlike Anakin he’d be probably a dutiful student, almost creepily obedient, probably actively distancing himself from rebellious behavior, though his way of speaking isn’t exactly super formal either because of the influence of the adults around him. In his obsessions lies a genuine love, even if twisted, of his “favorite person” so to speak. He was also a genuinely sweet kid who wanted to please these special people in his life. He could be said to be actually really selfless in a weird way, because ultimately he values familial honor and being “good enough” for whatever higher purpose more than he values himself. TROS implied some sassiness with that Han-like shrug, and while I can maybe see some of Han rubbing off on him like that, that might be something that started from him trying to copy his parents’ air of confidence, and another coping mechanism. He might, like Vader, have a 501st legion 2.0 which Phasma is in charge of and Finn is part of, and show a more nicer side to them. Perhaps he opened up one or two times to Finn specifically; I can see this image of him venting to him while Finn stands still like how someone might vent to their dog, not really expecting Finn to be listening (also sarcasm might help Kylo obscure his true anguish from Finn, because FO troopers don’t understand sarcasm probably).  

He will be redeemed at the end… and live. Even if not necessarily paired with Rey. I’m neutral on Reylo (though admittedly I have a weak spot for pairs involving a strong woman and a troubled guy, so it’s kind of growing on me), but I really think this ship, or even centering the story strongly around a platonic relationship between these two, could have worked if it was built up strongly (Though if I were to go this route Finn would have to be established as a secondary character from the start, with Rey as the definitive main character, to focus on this). But either way, he’s definitely going to have to face the consequences of what he’s done, make up for his atrocities at least somewhat, and think about what he truly wants to do from now on. I can imagine him quietly reading stories to younglings as Rey, Finn, and Luke train some other pupils outside, or thanklessly working behind the scenes in other ways. For his haters out there, I could make the pill easier to swallow not just by making the reasons for his fall and how he was slowly and meticulously gaslit more clear, but also making him not as awful. Yes, he’s extremely destructive, but he could show more reluctance, or pause after his berserker rages, staring at the destruction he’s caused as the weight of what he’s done sinks in. He’d of course resent that he still has mercy left in him though. I don’t think that there will be a Starkiller Base, but even if there was he might argue with Hux a bit over whether it’s really necessary, until Hux sneers at him for having mercy, saying that Vader never hesitated when blowing up Alderaan, and Kylo reluctantly backs off.

…Actually, what about making him and Rey cousins? On one hand, if Rey is a Skywalker by blood, a direct daughter of the Master himself no less, Ben is now suddenly freed from carrying the weight of the family legacy on his own. On the other hand… He basically loses the thing he has spent his entire life building his identity around; since his fall would have partially been because of his obsession with Luke, he may become jealous and extremely resentful of her, and/or take this as even more reason for Luke to not “need” him anymore. Or perhaps, he pulls a reverse of “I sense the conflict in you” with her, wanting to “save” her from embracing the Light and wanting her to embrace the “true” Skywalker destiny with him. He could even be overjoyed that he could have someone else alongside him to carry on the legacy with; in this scenario he could have an unhealthy obsession with her that might also start crossing into “are you sure this isn’t incest?” territory. Yeah it’s a “join me and we can rule together” scenario again, but it would be done differently. Or perhaps it’s a mix of some of those. Exploring that and how he chooses to take it could be extremely interesting. Maybe it’s resolved when Anakin tells him to “finish what he started”… not just by saving the galaxy, but by also living the rest of his life loving his family not as an ideal, but as family, like Anakin wasn’t allowed to. And platonic Reylo sounds nice too. Though that’s going to make all that shipping fanart so awkward lol. Well it’s not as if Star Wars shippers haven’t been cockblocked by incest before (though his obsession with family and extremely questionable mental state would probably make such shippers go nuts anyway…). 

And going off of Poe being close to his parents, while the main interactions with Kylo from the heroes would be Rey, Finn if he’s the second protagonist, Luke, and his parents, I can see potential for an interesting dynamic and some interesting conversations between them too. Much like how he might react to Rey being Luke’s daughter, I can see him being jealous of Poe and resenting him for being his “replacement”, but after his redemption I can see potential for seeing the start of a friendship between them in epilogue comics, novels, or a mini-series. It would be pretty in-character for my version of Poe to want to help rehabilitate his sort-of stepbrother. Also I now have the adorable mental image of Ben quietly helping Poe (and maybe the rest of his squad) decorate and arrange Rey and Finn’s wedding, or the two surprising Finn with a very elaborate bachelor party, though I’m not sure if those exist in this universe. And because of a certain Inside Llewyn Davis scene I’m also imagining Poe getting Ben to sing with him and BB-8. It’s adorable. 

Also if both Rey and Finn are the main heroes, he might have some kind of link with both of them, and the main duo would both contrast him in their own way (lonely scavenger who no one expected anything of and nameless trooper who defected from the First Order vs. someone who grew up in greatness but seemingly threw it away and chose to be in the First Order; and much like Kylo Finn in particular has been manipulated from childhood to do heinous things, so he may sympathize with his situation). Maybe he’s the missing piece needed for both him and the leading duo to reach their full potential, or the main duo are the last piece needed to finally break Snoke’s curse on him, or something. Or it could simply just be Finn showing his growth and strength of character by understanding and forgiving Kylo, despite him now understanding just how badly the First Order treated him, which makes Rey (who, again, might start as this super cynical scavenger or may have seen Kylo go berserk and massacre her friends and betray her Master) come around to the idea. In this scenario it may actually be even more important to emphasize that Rey and Finn are two making up a whole, so as not to bog stuff down. It’s possible to ship Finnrey and want Kylo to have a better ending, what a shock! 

Maybe Rey and Kylo could switch places, and he comes back to the light in SW8, which is an idea I’ve seen floated and is something that would make the story truly unique. He would seem like basically a less stable Vader 2.0 at the start, but over SW8 he could be seen breaking more and more out of his own terrible mindset, coming to a head in a cathartic realization that bring him back into the arms of his beloved family. It would also add an interesting dynamic that he and Finn have to be equals now. But that may mean that Rey would have to be killed off and I’m not so sure about that. 

Though speaking of her, since in all these scenarios a common thread is that she understandably doesn’t like him, it would be a bit of a twist if Finn sees the good in him but Rey, if she’s a Skywalker, his cousin, doesn’t. 

And to bring up Poe again, I also really like the idea of them having been childhood friends and thus knowing each other before the events of SW7; after all, they’re around similar age, it isn’t that far-fetched to think that former Rebel families would be still pretty close to each other, and I’ve seen some adorable fanfics with the concept. It also adds connection between them and adds even more tragedy, even if this relationship may have to be elaborated more in supplementary material due to time. I can definitely Poe speaking like an old friend to Kylo and constantly calling him “Ben”, to his irritation. The abovementioned feeling of being replaced could be what caused Ben to suddenly break off the friendship. And making the main cast kind of tight-knit like this might also help make the cast easier to manage. 

Granted, there is the possibility of killing him off, though. I heard that one of the initial ideas for TFA was apparently that Kylo would be a reverse Vader, falling deeper and deeper into the Dark Side as the trilogy goes on. In fact, this may have been where Kylo killing Han may have been leading to. This actually sounded like a super cool idea, but considering the backstory I laid out I thought it would be way too bittersweet for the concluding movie of the saga, and if one were to say Kylo basically has BPD… That might lead to some unfortunate implications. I mean nothing is stopping me from not using the Elsa backstory, and if I didn’t use it maybe this route would be pretty viable, but I’m kind of starting to get attached to it. 

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Other characters:

Hux: I’ve never really been a villain person. I mean I liked sympathetic villains, yeah (but even then I preferred anti-heroes for a while; I’m talking like nothing beyond N from Pokémon levels of “evil”), but straight-up villains I just have merely seen as obstacles. Like back in my Smash fic days I was often like “Eh… They’re there… Because they want to take over the world I guess?”. It’s why I’m having trouble with Snoke probably lol. But for some reason Hux interests me. If I take a guess it’s probably because of the potential he had as an actual foil to Kylo in his own faction. He had so much potential as a villain, and in having this tense dynamic play out. In fact he does seem to have been set up that way in SW7. But yeah, I imagine him as one coldhearted bastard. His backstory, though not elaborated on in the movies, would be much like TFA supplementary material set him up; he’d still have killed his father, but while yes, Brendol was abusive and strict, Armitage didn’t kill him completely because he was a young man who wanted to break free from his strict father, but also genuinely because he knew doing so would be good for his standing. Unlike Kylo when he (most likely) kills Han, he doesn’t regret killing Brendol at all. While he might have a tragic backstory kind of explaining his behavior, it doesn’t bother him at all, while Kylo, who considering what happened to him and how he’s literally under a curse you’d think would have a much steeper fall into unabashed evil, is constantly conflicted. It’s a very Sith Lord-like backstory funnily enough… In fact I’m pretty sure that Palpatine had a backstory very similar to this with his parents.  

He’s a very logical, analytical, brutally pragmatic person, and he looks upon Kylo’s emotional state with condescension. I’m increasingly starting to like the idea that he’s somehow able to talk Kylo down, while still being hardly nice. Perhaps he preys upon Kylo’s constant need for approval from others, even if he doesn’t like the person in question (this may also be why Kylo reacts so strongly to Finn escaping as well, in fact. He genuinely cares about people’s loyalty, even from literal no-name soldiers). Though I can’t decide whether he’s this deceptively charming snake or basically an evil Spock. I also can’t decide between him being in this constant state of “Why do I have to babysit this manchild” or giving absolutely no visible f*cks around Kylo no matter what happens, or even straight-up trolling him often, toying with his emotions because it amuses him; preferably two or a bit of all somehow? I can see him using having met Vader as a child to mock Kylo for how much of a pale, childish imitation he is, or reminding Kylo of how much better he is as a leader objectively; perhaps that’s what he holds over Kylo’s head. Or him explaining to Kylo how he was raised by less than stellar parenting and tried so hard to live up to his strict father too… So he brutally murdered Brendol in cold blood (possibly with Phasma’s help), became a better admiral than he ever was, and got over it “Like an adult. Unlike you.”. They’d be in this constant state of delicate, tense equality; Kylo can easily overpower Hux if he pisses him off a bit too much, but Hux is able to walk that fine edge seemingly without much effort. 

But when he realizes whatever grand cosmic plot he and the entire First Order has been participating in this whole time is when, ironically, there would probably be a really dramatic villainous breakdown from him. It’s kind of a Zuko and Azula situation with Kylo and Hux perhaps? Or is this Hux more a mix of Azula and Zhao’s roles rather?

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Worldbuilding stuff: Since I’m more a character person, there isn’t much here, but because the worldbuilding was another issue in the movies I’ll also be adding these.

The New Republic isn’t nuked in the first movie. In fact it stays there for the duration of the trilogy and the hero faction is now its armed forces, not The Resistance (Also that name makes no sense. Seriously. At least name them The Peacekeeper Corps or Vigilantes or something, or since they’re basically Leia’s personal military maybe the Organa Free Army or Organa Corps or something of that sort. No wonder people mistakenly call them The Rebels sometimes. It’s a similar setup to Chrom’s Shepherds in Fire Emblem Awakening, albeit with a better relationship with the kingdom; it would be downright strange if the Shepherds called themselves The Resistance despite literally existing with the queen’s permission, and it still is here. Hell, Leia’s Shepherds is a better name). There would be elaboration on the political stuff going on behind the scenes, and if Leia isn’t a Jedi that’s her plotline probably, though a big part of me wants her to be part of the action instead of being stuck on the homeworld. 

Meanwhile, The First Order is made up of Imperial Remnants and people and planets who were unsatisfied with the democratic but still new and fragile New Republic. Basically think White Russians if the Soviets weren’t also awful. It happens a lot in history. While it may have some mining planets in its orbit (not literally, you know what I mean) so it can plausibly refurbish anything Kylo wrecks with his tantrums, Starkiller Base is probably a bit much, and a lot of their equipment might be old Imperial or Rebel stuff, or stolen from the New Republic, with new stuff being produced but not in overly high quantity. Some of the equipment deemed less important might even be kind of crappy due to how old they are. They’d probably be at most an equally powerful faction to the Republic, if not smaller than them, seeming more like a terrorist cell. I don’t have much of an idea why Snoke would want to be involved in it yet though. 

But while the First Order might be smaller, the New Republic is hindered by it just now finally gaining its footing, and the military previously only having been used for peacekeeping and sniping stray Imperial remnants. Because it’s peacetime, it might have been kept pretty small, and also the military academies are literally not even 30 years old at this point, so new that it’s possible Poe, despite his youth, was one of the earliest graduates; one of the military’s most high-ranking officers is literally a scoundrel with no formal training - even if he is good at his job - it isn’t exactly a well-oiled machine, though its less rigid, casual structure also does benefit it in some aspects. Also the FO can easily use Kylo as intimidation, and its upper staff is nothing if not driven and motivated as well as ruthless. They may engage in more underhanded actions like sabotage and suicide bombers, or rely on small elite units like the Knights of Ren or small companies of troopers, to poke holes in the enemy just as much as open combat. And maybe if all else fails Snoke causes something really bad to happen seemingly out of nowhere. 

While I do think that making the baddies an Empire 2.0 is an… uncreative decision, I want to keep Finn’s backstory, plus it fits Kylo’s story too so blah, I kind of have to keep it. Plus I want to do Phasma and Hux justice. Maybe Snoke or whatever it serves turns into a giant Eldritch abomination and have no use for the FO anymore. And again, reactionary forces are a thing that have existed throughout early modern history. But as already mentioned, due to the nature of the First Order’s existence, maybe the Stormtroopers aren’t kidnapped, but they were orphans picked off the streets, and/or some more dedicated Imperial parents gave them their children? I had the idea that Troopers like Finn are “Junior Troopers”, the child slave type, while older members, “Senior Troopers”, would be legit Imperial revanchists and former troopers. Maybe there’s a separate company of Juniors who think they’re cool by fighting for the First Order, but generally Juniors would be the lowest on the social rung, though some might make it into higher positions, and don’t know any other life than what they have now. Though I also like the idea that Finn was part of an elite unit directly connected to Kylo Ren like the 501st, so he has a reason to be particularly hurt by his betrayal (but that could throw a wrench in the whole Finn was a faceless cog in the machine thing). They’re pretty Prussian in command structure; officers work under mission-tactics, but the rank-and-file are machine-like in their discipline, more than even some actual droids. The Republic’s forces also probably engage in mission-tactics a lot, except how far it is acceptable goes way further down the chain of command, so stuff like the Holdo situation doesn’t happen. If that situation were to happen when mission-tactics were to be expected Poe’s independent action would be seen as reasonable. This would have potential for very interesting battles and tactics, though I’d need a lot of help with those because I’m the furthest thing from a tactician you can find (but even I can tell the bomber scene from TLJ was dumb, which should say something).

I kind of realized that it’s possible that the four OT legacy characters may end up basically representing four major aspects of the New Republic; the Jedi (Luke), law and justice (Leia, if she’s a senator), the military (Han, if he’s a general), and economics (Lando). I think some worldbuilding into how the republic functions should be explored through these characters as they move the story forward, except for the Jedi since they’re obviously a central focus, and Luke might very well be introduced after them, and the military will also get focus for obvious reasons, and Poe exists. The information definitely needs to be conveyed as efficiently and organically as possible through the story, because there’s two, likely three, equally important main characters and an unholy amount of secondary characters who aren’t exactly minor. 

May write more later idk. I need to be doing other stuff…

#Star Wars #rey skywalker #Rey #finnrey #Finn #poe dameron #Kylo Ren #Ben solo #star wars sequel trilogy #anti tlj #anti tros #luke skywalker #han solo #leia organa #erika's thoughts #writing stuff #Erika’s 10PM thoughts #Why can’t I stop stumbling down fandoms WHY #I hope I haven’t spoiled too much of the 1 - 6 movies for myself for this... #disney star wars #remake #Ben solo deserved better #Luke Skywalker deserved better #finn deserved better #spoilers?

[dokoni-mo]

Back Again, Together || Darth Vader x Reader (Chapter 7)

(A/N: goodbye, to a world. ) 

Link to Masterlist (contains all other chapters, as well as first part) : [x]

WARNINGS: canon-typical violence, cursing. 

Key: (F/N) = first name, (L/N) = last name

Word Count : ~6100

~~~

It was another one of those rare mornings where he woke up before you. 

You were surprised that you were able to get to sleep at all the night prior. 

Today was the day. 

Today, you and your lover were to face him. 

The Emperor. 

You felt nervous, yet calm at the same time as you got up and dressed that morning. Watching yourself change in the full-length mirror, your mind was able to wander in the silence between you and Vee. 

You believed what you told him before. You believed that there wasn’t anything the two of you couldn’t do while together. You believed that with all your heart. But, it didn’t negate the fact that the Emperor was a powerful man, and who knows how powerful he is now. Yes, your husband is a powerful man himself, but he hadn’t fought in years. Alongside this, he was still weakened from his first encounter with the Emperor, all those years ago on Endor. 

Endor… 

Stripping your shirt off of your torso, your eyes were met with the circular scar that freshly adorned your stomach. Your lips tightening into a line, you slowly and gingerly traced your fingers over the disturbed flesh, ignoring how cold you were in just your pants, belt, boots, and bra. 

You remembered back to when you didn’t have that scar. Coming to terms that it was now a permanent part of your body was… bittersweet. 

You got it for a good cause. You got to see your grandson…

You just wished it went differently. 

Sensing your emotions, Vee turned to you from across the room. Finishing up clipping his saber to his belt, he made his way over to you. Watching him in the mirror, a sad smile formed itself on your face as you watched his wrap his strong arms around your waist, his chest pressed against your back and his armored head rested on your shoulder. Instinctively, you rested your smaller arms upon his, tracing circles on the leather with your fingertips. 

Letting out a sigh through your nose, your voice came soon after. It was soft, small, just enough for him to hear. 

You sounded… tired. 

“Is it bad…” you asked, “That I’m not mad at him for it?” 

You lifted up one of your arms to touch your scar again. Vader noticed in the mirror how your sad smile had not faltered, a somewhat haunted look in your eyes. 

He disliked it. 

He never wanted for you to have more trauma. 

Was trauma the right word? He didn’t know. 

No matter what, he didn't like it. 

He only wanted the best for you. 

Yet, he understood what you were trying to say. 

“No, darling.” He responded to you, softly pressing the mouthpiece of his mask to your hair as his version of a kiss, “Not at all.” 

Another smile pressed itself into your face. It was still sad, yet happier than before. 

“I hope we get a chance to start over.” you said, “After all of this is done. I… I really want to meet him. Actually meet him.” 

Vader nuzzled the cheek of his mask against your shoulder. 

“We will, darling. I have no doubts that he will return.” 

Letting out a shallow breath through your nose, you turned your head to press a soft kiss against his mask. 

“You always know what to say, Vee.” 

“Of course, my dear. I have known you for many years.” 

You let out a chuckle, “I love you, Anakin Skywalker, you dork.” 

He let out a satisfied rumble, “And I love you far more than words, (F/N) (L/N).” 

~~~

The air around the resistance base was tense, yet determined. 

Stepping out of your quarters into the outside, you were greeted with the sight of many rebels running back and forth frantically. A large number of them were saying their goodbyes and good lucks to one another, while the rest were packing their things and prepping their ships. You and your love were to go with Rey on the falcon, but pushing through and maneuvering through the rebels made the two of you late. 

When you eventually got there, you were greeted with the sight of Finn and Poe helping to load the Falcon whilst Rey was talking with Leia. From the distance you were at, you weren’t able to make out what they were saying. What you could make out, however, was Leia giving over her lightsaber to Rey. 

A heartwarming sight, really. It almost made you feel bad about intruding on the conversation. 

Hand-in-hand with Vee, you walked up to the two women, a small yet somewhat pained smile on your face. 

“Looks like we have a new Jedi.” you said to the brunette young woman, making her smile. 

“Definitely.” Leia chimed in, “She’s earned it.” 

You turned to your daughter-in-law, “Are you sure you can’t come with us? We’ll really miss you out there…” 

“I can’t.” she responded, “I have to make sure everyone stays on course. Besides, I’m too old for that kinda stuff anymore.” 

You let out a chuckle, hugging on to Vee’s arm, “You’re old? How do you think that makes us feel?” 

With a rumble from your love and a chuckle from Leia, your daughter-in-law turned to her father, a small smile adorning her face. Your love tilted his head down to meet her gaze. Despite him having no outward control of his facial movements, you were able to read him like a damn book. 

He was worried, scared even. 

He didn’t want this to be the last time he saw his only remaining child.

Leia was able to pick up on it too. 

“Dad, it’s okay.” she said, “I’ll see you later tonight.” 

You watched as your love’s back stiffened at her words. Letting go of your hand, Vader stepped closer to his daughter, slowly and carefully resting his gloved hands on her shoulders as he addressed her. 

“How are you so certain, daughter?” 

Leia shrugged, despite the weight on her shoulders, “I just know.” 

Left speechless, Vader pulled his daughter in for a hug, one which she reciprocated happily. 

You couldn’t stop the smile that formed on your face. 

You hoped that Leia was right. 

~~~

The trip to the emperor was largely silent, except for the dull whirr of ship engines in the background. 

You recently learned that the planet you were going to was far out in the outer rim; nothing you had ever heard before. Exegol was what it was called. Sounds fun. 

Your love’s red saber clipped to your belt, you stood with your arms crossed across your chest, looking out the window side-by side with your lover. The two of you watched in silence as blue streaks of hyperdrive filled the window. 

No words were needed between the two of you. 

The thick haze of anticipation in the air was enough. 

~~~ 

When the falcon eventually fell out of hyperdrive, you were up in the cockpit of the falcon. 

The sight before you left a pit in your stomach. 

Littering the dull, grey sky were a vast plethora of x-wings on one side, and all the more Star Destroyers on the other. Streaks of lightning rolled across the sky in ribbons, illuminating the grey of the heavens in flashes of blue. On the ground was almost completely nothing, except for one large, completely black rectangle below. 

Your eyes were wide, your hands clammy. You had never seen so many damn Star Destroyers in your life, and you fucking worked for the empire. 

It was unbelievable. 

Almost immediately, you saw the rebel x-wings begin their attack, streaks of their blasters littering the expanse of the sky. 

“Holy shit.” Poe breathed out under his breath, looking up at the sky above. 

“You can say that again…” you mumbled back, your eyes still locked on the sight above you. 

From the other chair of the falcon, Rey shifted her gaze from the sky above to the controls before her, her lips parting as her dark eyes went wide. Noticing her movements, you shifted your gaze to her. 

“What is it?” you asked, your tone louder than before so that she could hear you. 

“I-It’s…” she began, darting her tongue across her lips, “It’s him. He knows we’re here already…” 

“Well we shouldn’t keep him waiting then.” you responded, quickly turning on your heel and exiting the cockpit of the Falcon. Your boots clanking down the hallway, you eventually were inside the main room of the Falcon, your eyes being greeted with your lover still staring out the window from before. 

“Vee.” you called out to him, tightening up your boots and your gloves, “It’s time to go. He knows we’re here.” 

Your love stared out the window for a moment longer in silence, assuming no special position as he eventually responded to you. 

“I am aware, darling.” he said plainly, his voice as deep as ever. 

Making sure his old red saber was clipped to your belt, you watched him as he slowly turned around to face you, his mask pointed right at your face. 

A small smile adorned your face, your hand finding a resting position on your hip. 

“Are you ready?” You asked him. 

It took him a moment to respond. 

“No.” 

You let out a soft, quick laugh. 

“Good. I’m not either.” 

~~~

Poe had lowered the falcon so that you, Vee, and Rey could be dropped off at the front door of the fortress. Sabers in hand, the three of you steadily approached the door. 

You couldn't help but watch the lightning above. It made you veer of course a couple of times, but your love was quick to call out your name, making you focus again.

The land of Exegol was desolate, grey even. There was absolutely nothing in sight, apart from the large, black box a few hundred feet away from the trio of you. You had thought this originally, but, as you drew nearer to the fortress, you were proven wrong. 

There, not too far from the door, was one long, pointed TIE fighter. 

Ben’s TIE fighter. 

Realization washing over the three of you, you and Vader watched as Rey ran ahead into the fortress, calling out Ben’s name in hopes that he would hear. Not too long after, you listened as she went silent, only the sound of lightning and ship engines filling the air. 

A sense of worry coming over you, you gave a quick look to Vader before rushing into the fortress yourself, your boots kicking up dust with the stroke of your run. 

Expecting to see the worst from within, your eyes went soft as a surprising sight filled your vision. Your chest heaving up and down with your heavy breaths, your run skirted to a stop, your boots digging in the ground below. 

There, upon the floor only a handful of feet away from you, was him. 

Your grandson. 

He had longsince abandoned his normal robes, instead wearing a simple pair of pants and shorts, his hair a mess as he held a blaster. He was knelt down, and holding onto Rey in a tight hug, one of which she seemed to be happily reciprocating. Ben’s face was buried in her shoulder, but it didn’t take him long to lift up his head again. As he did so, you watched as his expression changed as he saw your form. 

Was it a dream? A vision? 

He didn’t know.  

He was sure he…

He swallowed the forming lump in his throat before speaking. 

“G… Grandmother.” he said softly, making Rey turn in his grasp to face you as well. 

Hearing that word to him sounded so… foreign. It made your breathing return to normal as you processed the word, your head tilting slightly to the side. 

You should hate him. 

You should smack him for what he did, scold him at least. 

Were you going to? 

…

No. 

You weren’t. 

You didn’t hate him. 

You weren’t angry.

Even as you felt a buzz upon your scar. 

Even as his words echoed in your mind. 

Even as you remembered the cold feeling of the water. 

Putting all those unpleasant memories aside, you let yourself be faced with the truth. 

Your grandson was finally here. 

You felt a smile form on your face, your arms crossing across your chest. 

“Took you long enough, Ben.” you said to him, a hint of playfulness in your tone. 

You watched as Ben’s lips parted at your words, and continued to watch as he searched for the right words to say. 

Seeing the gears turn in his head, you knew what he meant before he even said it. 

“Grandmother, I…” he eventually began, finding it hard to look at you, “I… I’m so, so sorry. Please… I hope you can forgive me.” 

As much as you tried to fight against it, a chuckle escaped your lips. 

“I know, Ben. I know.” 

As if on cue, your love made his way to your side again, his cape fluttering behind him as his respirator filled the room. 

Your smile broadened, your eyes shooting up a quick glance up to your love before returning to Ben. 

“I don’t think I’m the most pissed off one about it.” you said to your grandson, your tone playful but sincere. 

Giving you one last look, Ben shifted his gaze over to your side, swallowing before addressing your love. 

“Gr-Grandfather, I…” he began, struggling again to find the right words, “I...I don’t-” 

Vader stopped Ben’s ramblings before he could continue. 

“Did you apologize to your grandmother, Ben?” he asked, his tone deathly serious. 

Your grandson nodded his head quickly, quicker than you’ve ever seen anyone do so before. 

“Good.” your love continued, placing his large hands on his belt, “I expect you to treat her with respect from now on.” 

“Right,” Rey cut in, helping Ben stand up as she did so herself, “Now that we have one more, me and Ben will make a distraction for the Emperor. Once he’s off guard, the two of you will go in for the kill. Is that a plan?” 

“Sounds like a plan to me.” you responded, looking up to the former sith lord by your side, “If it sounds like one to you, love.” 

He gave you a nod in response. 

~~~

The journey through the fortress was nerve-wracking to say the least. 

After stepping over the bodies of what was now the former Knights of Ren (slain by your grandson), the four of you stepped deeper into the fortress. You were surprised that no one else jumped out of the dark to try and kill the four of you, yet also scared at the same time. Did this mean that no one else but the Emperor was here? Most likely. 

Perhaps that was enough. 

With one last ascension into the fortress, the four of you were met with the sight of what looked to be a doorway, except the doors were pulled back in seeming anticipation. Beyond the doors, you were just able to make out the sight of what looked to be a large throne, accompanied by the occasional streak of lightning. 

Menacing. 

Rey and Ben turned around to you and your love, the former being the one to speak. 

“Right then,” she said, taking her saber off of her belt and gripping it tightly, “We’ll go in first. You two wait out here, and come in when it’s right.” 

You gave her a nod, “Be careful, you two.” 

“The force shall be with you, young Jedi.” your love chimed in, addressing both Rey and Ben. 

With one last look, the younger couple headed into the throne room before them, a low rumble resounding off of the walls. Watching them step into the throne room, they soon disappeared as they got far enough away, making you cross your arms over your chest. After a moment of silence, you turned up your head to Vee. 

“How long do you think they’ll last?” you asked him, your eyes still fixated on the sight before you. 

Suddenly, and without warning, your eyes picked up on quite the peculiar sight. Heading towards you at a highly rapid pace was a large, tall figure, seemingly holding something in it's arms. As it got closer, you were able to make out that it was Ben, holding a limp, somewhat lifeless Rey in his arms. Realizing this, you let out a gasp, running forward to meet your grandson halfway. 

“Not long.” Vader responded from behind you. 

“Ben!” you exclaimed, ignoring your lover’s comment, “What happened in there?!” 

“She-She tried her best,” he said, concern heavy in his voice as he lowered the girl to lay on the ground, “But it was too much. I tried helping her, but-” 

“It is quite alright, son.” Vader rumbled out, stepping up close to his grandson and resting a hand on his shoulder, “Stay here and make sure she is well. We shall take it from here.” 

After the initial shock of his grandfather touching him, Ben nodded his head in agreement, turning his attention back to Rey. 

Taking his hand off of Ben’s shoulder, your love turned to you, his armored head tilted slightly to the side. 

“Shall we, darling?” he asked. 

You felt a tightness in your chest in place of what should have been your answer. You did want to go. You did want to be there for your love, like you promised you would be. But, after seeing how quickly Rey and Ben were taken out…

It scared you. Terrified you, even. 

They both were much stronger than you… Hell, you were definitely the weakest one there…

You feared for you life. 

You wanted to run and hide, but instead, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. 

You repeated in your head what you believed. 

There is nothing we can’t do, when the two of us are together.

Opening your eyes again to see your lover, you gave him a firm nod in affirmation. 

“Let’s go kick some ass, love.” you said, a determined smile adorning your face. 

Assuming a position next to you, Vader began to walk into the throne room of the fortress, picking up your pace to match his own. Walking next to him, you remarked about how calm he seemed, while you were there nearly shitting your pants. You wanted to ask him about it, but figured it was too late.

It was game time now. 

Waking deeper and deeper into the room, you were met with the sight of what you had suspected before: a large, spiky, black throne, surrounded by utter darkness. 

You felt a twinge of fear crawl through you. It made you unclip the saber off of your belt and ignite it, a glow of red illuminating your side with a low humm. 

Stopping a couple hundred feet away from the throne, you felt your hands start to become sweaty, making you wipe off the moisture on your pants and then regrip your saber. 

Seeing your actions from the corner of his masked eye and sensing your fear, your love pointed his mask down to you, the sound of his respirator filling your ears. 

“Darling.” he spoke out, making you shoot your gaze up to him. 

“It is alright. Stay close to me, you shall be safe.” he continued. 

His words giving you a sense of comfort, you allowed yourself to give him a smile, your eyes shining with love and pride. 

You felt…

You…

...

You couldn’t breathe. 

Your eyes widening in fear and your smile quickly fading, you tried again and again to take a breath, but to no avail. 

Vader was quick to notice this. 

“Darling?” he questioned, a layer of concern lacing his voice. 

Your hand shooting up to your throat, you tried again and again to gasp in a breath, only to be met with nothing. Your body starting to grow weak and stiff, you shot your other hand up to your throat, your saber dropping to the ground and unigniting. Your legs now too weak to keep you standing, you fell to the ashy ground with a thud, still trying to take in a breath as Vader knelt next to you. 

“Darling,” he echoed, panic starting to set in between the two of you, “Breathe, darling.” 

A voice came out from behind the shadows as you continued to wheeze and sputter. 

“How unfortunate.” 

Vader recognized the voice instantly. It took you a moment to realize. 

It was him. 

Stepping out of the shadows, in such evil glory, was him. 

The Emperor. 

He looked just the same as Vader remembered. 

“My old apprentice…” the emperor croaked out, his voice seeming to echo off of the walls, “You had no need to lie to her. You knew she was to die here, yet you let her come anyhow.” 

Vader stood up from his kneeling position, turning to face his former master with clenched fists. 

Your lover’s voice was far deeper than you had ever heard before. 

He unclipped his saber from his belt, igniting it and washing him in a blue light. 

“Let her go.” 

The Emperor simply laughed, you sputtering on the ground all the while. 

“As you wish.” he eventually said. A moment after, you felt a rush of cool, refreshing air enter your lungs, making you cough and sputter on the ground as you held onto your throat. 

You wanted to stand up again, but your muscles felt so weak. 

It made you want to cry. Not even ten minutes, and you were already beat. 

You refused to cry. 

You had to stay strong. You would stay strong. 

As you continued to breathe and cough on the ground, hoping to regain your strength, the Emperor spoke again, his old frame making it's way to be seated upon the throne. 

“I am disappointed in you, Lord Vader.” the emperor said, “You have allowed this girl to make you forget your purpose, your destiny as my successor.” 

Vader clenched his grip upon his saber, “No. (F/N) allowed me to see the truth. That is something that you never told me.” 

The emperor sneered, “I saw your future. You were to rule the galaxy, yet you gave it all up for such trivial matters. You could be so much stronger without her in the way. Just look at who you became without Padme Amidala.” 

There was that name again. 

Padme Amidala. 

You did know about her, and you knew that she came before you. 

You shook the bad thoughts out of your head. 

No. 

Now was not the time for them. 

You and him were in love, despite the past. 

Vader tilted his head to the side, “You may have taken her from me, but I shall not allow you to take (F/N) as well.”

You love now gripping his saber with both of his hands. 

“It is time for me to finish what I started.” 

The emperor let out another sneer, raising up his hands. 

“And it is time for you to die.” 

Raising up your head, you saw a blue glow start to emit out of the Emperor’s fingertips. 

You knew what was going to come. 

Acting out of instinct, you quickly picked up your saber t, screaming out a NO as you ignited it. As you ran over to your love, you watched as streaks of lightning came from the emperor’s fingertips, dangerously close to making contact with you lover. Igniting your saber, you crossed the blade over your body, putting a shield of you before Vee as your crimson saber absorbed the lighting. 

The force of the lightning pushed you back, the toes of your boots leaving lines in the ground. Your arms straining against the force, you bared your teeth with the sheer strength it took to keep the lighting off of your lover, your heart beating a mile a minute. 

Realizing this, the Emperor formed another sneer on his face. Summoning up all the power in him, he sent out a great, powerful pulse of lightning. Once it made contact with your saber, a large blast of blue light filled your vision, sending both you and your love flying backwards with the sheer force of it. 

Landing on the ground a few dozen feet away with a loud thud and hearing your saber unignite, you coughed again as the air was knocked out of you. A wave of pain washing over your back, you found it hard to stand up again. 

Rolling over onto your side, you saw your love on the ground as well, not moving all the much. 

Never in your life had you felt so powerless.

You tried your best to protect your love, and look where he is now. 

Who were you to think you could pull off something so daring? 

You barely had saber training before. 

You rolled back onto your back, staring up at the sky above you. 

You hadn’t noticed that there was no roof to this place until then. 

Looking up at the grey sky above, you saw the rebels fighting for their lives in their ships. You saw that there were a few ships you didn’t recognize too. 

The signal must have worked. 

Other people did come. 

You felt a sinking feeling inside of you. 

Those poor souls…

They didn’t know it was all in vain now. 

You had failed. 

Closing your eyes, you were ready to die. You were ready to slip into a sleep you would never wake up from. 

A voice coming from seemingly nowhere kept you from it. 

“Oh dear,” the voice said, “This is quite the mess, if I do say so myself.” 

You squinted open your eyes. 

You recognized that voice, from your hospital room. 

Opening your eyes fully, you noticed now the ships above were moving much, much more slowly, as if time were slowed just for you. 

You were perplexed. 

You sat up as best you could, finding that it took a long while to do. 

You couldn’t believe your eyes. 

There, standing before you, was three other people. One man and two women. 

Even if you had never met them before, you knew exactly who they were. 

You had heard countless stories about them. 

The man: Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

The togruta: Ahsoka Tano.

The human woman: Padme Amidala.

All three of them were looking directly at you as you sat on the ground. You would have been embarrassed about your disheveled appearance if it weren’t for how amazed you were. 

Darting your gaze between the three ghosts, you found it hard to speak. 

“Wh-What… I… I don’t..” you were able to croak out eventually. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, (F/N).” Ahsoka said with a small smile, cutting you off of your ramblings. 

You swallowed, “Why… Why are you all here?” 

“We came for a visit.” Obi-Wan said, his hand rested on his bearded chin, “It seems like you’re in quite the mess, Miss (F/N).” 

Your gaze dropped down briefly, “Yeah, but… shouldn’t you be visiting him instead? You know him better than I know you…” 

“That may be so,” Obi-Wan responded, “But I’m afraid Shmi wanted some time alone with her son.” 

You ears perked up at that name. 

Shmi Skywalker…

His mom. 

You wondered what she was saying to him. 

Ahsoka stepped forward and knelt down next to you, placing her glowing blue hand on your shoulder, “(F/N), you can’t give up now. The entire galaxy is depending on you.” 

You stared into her eyes for a moment before frowning. 

She was right, but…

“I...I can’t.” you breathed out, a lump forming in your throat, “I’m too damn weak to do anything. I just tried to protect him, but look where we are now. Even if he tries alone, he can’t withstand the lightning. It’s a lost cause…” 

“Oh, come now.” Obi-Wan chimed in, “You know that isn’t true. Do you remember what you told him? What you believe?” 

You picked up your gaze to look at the Jedi Master. 

“There’s nothing we can’t do,” you said, “when the two of us are together.” 

“Truer words have never been spoken, (F/N).” the senator from Naboo said to you, a smile on her face, “We’ve all seen what you have accomplished with him. This is what it has all led up to.” 

You moved your gaze over to Padme, a certain look entering your eyes, “Miss Amidala, I… I hope you’re no-” 

She cut you off with a giggle, “I’m not mad with you, (F/N). I’m glad he found you.” 

Staring at her a moment longer, you let your gaze drop to the floor again, another frown on your face. 

“How?” you asked, “How in the galaxy am I supposed to do this?” 

“Together.” Ahsoka said to you, standing back up again, “You do it together.” 

You felt the ground shake below you. Looking up to the ships above, you noticed how they were slowly starting to regain their normal speed. 

“It seems we’re running out of time.” Obi-Wan commented after a moment, noticing the shift in time himself. 

“What?” you asked, “N-No, wait, I-” 

“We can’t keep you here forever, (F/N).” Obi-Wan said to you, cutting you off from rambling, “You have to face what is ahead. You know what to do from here.” 

“Thousands of generations now live inside the two of you,” Ahsoka said, “And they’re all counting on you.” 

Your eyes darting between the three of them, you were at a loss of what to say. 

Feeling another rumble, Obi-Wan spoke again, “It seems our time is up. Take care, (F/N), and may the force be with you. I am glad we got to meet.” 

Watching as the three of them started to turn and walk away, you held out your hand to them. 

“W-Wait!” you called out, causing them to pause, turn, and look at you. 

“How can… how can I thank you?” 

The three of them exchanged a few looks before responding. 

Padme was the one to break the silence, a small smile on her face. 

“Love him for us.” she said, “Because our time, it was cut short.” 

And with that, they were gone. 

~~~

Opening your eyes with a gasp, you felt the surface of the ground beneath you. Realizing that you were still lying down, you turned on your side. Sure enough, you love was still there, and still not moving all the much. 

Looking over to the Emperor, you saw that he was sending many, many streaks of lightning up into the sky. Shifting your gaze to the sky, you noticed how the rebel ships were being fried and electrocuted, making their engines and guns fail. 

No. 

Quickly looking back to the ground, you found your saber again and scooped it into your grasp. Making sure that it was secure, you slowly crawled over to your love as best you could, your muscles aching and screaming in protest. Once close enough to him, you leaned over him with your free hand on his chest, gently shaking him as you looked into the eyes of his mask. 

“Vee.” you croaked out, your breath coming out him pants, “V-Vee, wake up. Come on, we gotta go. H-He’s still going. We gotta stop him. We…” 

You trailed off was you watched him stir, the breaths of his respirator coming out in wheezes. 

“(F/N)...” he rasped out, the eyes of his mask pointed at you. 

“Yes, love, it’s me.” you said to him, shaking him some more, “Come on, we gotta get up, we gotta-” 

“I saw her.” he rumbled out to you, “Darling, I saw...I saw my…” 

“I know, love, I know. I saw your friends, love.” you said to him, “I saw them. They told me… told me we have to keep going, Ani. We have to finish the job. For them, for Luke and Leia. We have to.” 

“Darling, I know… I know...but-” 

“No.” you said to him, your tone firm, “No, love, no buts. Do you remember what I said to you? Do you remember?” 

“There is nothing…” he begun.

“The two of us can’t do…” you continued. 

“When we are together.” he finished. 

You nodded your head quickly, “Do you still believe me, dear? When I say that?” 

“Yes, darling, I… I do.” 

“Then come, Ani. We have to stop him. We can go home afterwards, knowing that no one will ever be afraid again.” 

With that, you shifted yourself off of your love so that he could stand up. 

Together, you helped each other stand again. 

Together, you dusted each other off. 

Together, you regripped your sabers. 

Together, you ignited them. 

Together, you stepped forward again, making the emperor cease his lightning brigade. 

“No.” he said, “You were supposed to die.” 

“Never.” you hissed out, positioning your saber in a defensive stance, “Not while you’re still alive.” 

Another scowl appeared on the emperor’s ugly face. 

“So be it.” 

Lifting up his hands again, the Emperor was quick to shoot out another wave of lightning to you and Vader. Reacting quickly, you crossed your saber behind your love’s, deflecting all the lightning as flashes of blue, red, and purple washed over the pair of you. 

You could feel the energy on your skin. 

You should hear both you and Vader’s heartbeat beating in time. 

This was the moment. 

The moment you were destined to do together. 

The moment the force kept the two of you alive for. 

You were not going to let it go to waste. 

Looking over your shoulder to your love, you beckoned him to look at you with your eyes. Once he did so, the two of you shared a long, silent look between the two of you. 

Nothing was said. 

Nothing needed to be. 

All you gave each other was one, simple nod.

Returning your gazes back to the emperor, the two of you pushed your saber’s forward. As a result, the flurry of lightning was now directed back to it’s source, making it yell out in pain. Continuing the barrage, you and your love stood strong in your stances, watching as he  became more and more burnt and scarred. 

The ultimate payback. 

For years of torture. 

Enslavement. 

Fear. 

Loss. 

And darkness. 

No more. 

There would be no more. 

In one last final act of strength, the emperor lifted up his head to the two of you, lightning still pouring out of his fingertips. 

“You will never destroy me.” he croaked out, “I am all the sith.” 

You took in a breath before speaking. 

“And we…” you began. 

“Are all the Jedi.” Ani finished. 

With one last battle cry from you and and last push of your sabers, you and Vader shot back the remaining bits of lightning. With a loud cry, the Emperor was consumed in a large ball of blue light, and you watched as it built up it’s own tension then went away in a quick, loud flash and bang. 

The release off al the built up tension made you fall to your knees, with your love following suit not too long after. Your sabers unigiting, you breathed heavily whilst staring at the ground for a good while.

Did you do it? 

You were scared to look. 

Your body acting on it’s own, you looked up to the throne. 

…

Empty. 

Was it true? 

You looked up to the sky above. 

The Star Destroyers and TIEs were dropping from the sky. 

Could it be?

You sat back on your knees. 

“Is he…” you breathed out, pausing so that you could pant softly, “Is he gone?” 

You looked over to your love, on his knees next to you as he looked to the sky. 

It took him a moment to respond. 

…

“Yes, darling… He is.” 

Your lover looked to you, watching as your lips parted. 

You didn’t know what to say. 

You felt a lump forming in your throat. 

Instead of tamping it down, you allowed it to come. 

You allowed it to contort your face to tears. 

You allowed it to make your body fling into his, feeling his arms wrap around you and his mask buried in your shoulder. 

You did it. 

You did it, together. 

Crying there, in the expanse of nothingness that surrounded the two of you, you were happy. 

For the first time in decades…

The two of you were free. 

Everyone was free. 

Your words echoed in both of your heads. 

There is absolutely nothing…

The two of us cannot do…

When we are…

Together. 

~~~

TAGS: @spaghetti-666​ , @soullesstaco​ , @arsonistvoyager​ , @robin-obsessed​ , @glitter-rian , @captainrexstan​ , @easterncryptid , @deviatedwinter​ , @roseangel013bf​ , @danicalifxrnia​ , @dartheldur​ , @finest-trashbag​ , @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii​ , @elongatedmusk-rat , @shads121​ , @muffinbeliever​ @sakuramadae​ , @padme-parker​ , @khapikat222 , @the-official-memester​ , @rens-angel​ , @obiwankenobiness​ , @yvette1703 , @missmannequin​ , @breakfastpizzagalaxy​ , @scarletsinsandsnowwithetragedies​ , @clearnostolgia , @ahs0ka-skywalker​ , @teddyteddy​ , @shherlxck​ , @theroyalbrownbarbie​

#darth vader #darth vader x reader #fanfiction #anakin x you #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars x you #star wars fanfic #fanfic

[enamoured-x]

for you i’d bleed myself dry

Poe Dameron x Reader

Part 5

Summary: You meet up with Tobbi, Poe interrupts. 

*Not my gif

Word count: 2.5k

Part 5

Your hands were a little clammy and your heart was definitely beating a little faster as you stepped inside the cantina. It had been a while since you’ve been in the game, hopelessly pining over Poe took up a lot of your free time. You were wearing pants that hugged your legs and bottom in just the right way and your top was a bit revealing but nothing too scandalous. It had also been awhile since you had an occasion to dress up and what better occasion than to start operation, get over Poe Dameron. 

When Finn and Rey saw you enter, they walked over. Finn let out a low whistle.

“You clean up nice…” Finn nodded his approval and Rey smiled.

“He’s right, you look great. Poe’s not going to be able to take his eyes off you.” Rey teased and nudged your arm. You looked around the cantina to see if he was here. You mentally scolded yourself for caring but you couldn’t help yourself. Your eyes finally landed on him, in a booth. With the damn medic practically in his lap as she clung to him. Your mood deflated a bit at the sight. He was saying something to her and then he looked up and your eyes met his. You didn’t know how to react to how his eyes widened and looked you up and down. You flushed under his gaze and turned back to Rey and Finn. Rey winced as she saw what you were just looking at and Finn rolled his eyes and waved them off as if to say Poe and his new girl didn’t matter. 

“This isn't for Poe.” Finn said and you blushed, reminding yourself why you were here. Not for Poe, who was fine being felt up by the medic, but for Tobbi, who was actually interested in you. Rey looked between you two confused.

“Who did you get all dressed up for?” She asked. 

“Come on, I’ll fill you in.” Finn wrapped his arms around Rey’s shoulders and led her away, not before nodding in the direction of the bar. You look over to see Tobbi talking with a few of the pilots from his squadron. Damn, he looked good. He was wearing a simple black shirt that hugged all his muscles and his pants did wonders for his butt. His black hair was a bit tousled and it looked like he let his facial hair grow out a bit more. He looked...well, he looked hot. You made your way over to the bar and ordered yourself a drink, not wanting to interrupt Tobbi’s conversation. But his team had no problem as they nudged him and made him aware of your presence. Tobbi turned around and you looked away. He smiled and you blushed. 

“Hey! Didn’t think I’d see you here.” Tobbi said, placing himself right next to you. 

Your drink was placed in front of you and as you tried to pay, Tobbi beat you to it. 

“Thank you.” You said and took a sip of your fruity drink. 

“No problem, so really, what on earth dragged you away from your x-wing?” You took another sip from your drink, you wanted to be bold. You wanted to flirt. You wanted to just have some fun for the night and not think about your best friend who you wished was more than just your best friend. 

“I heard someone was asking around about me…” You tried to contain your smile as he smirked. 

“Just for the record, I only asked Finn. And maybe Rose.” He asked Rose about you too? You flushed and bit your lip. 

“Well, you have me in the flesh. What do you want to know?” He smiled and called the bartender over for another round of drinks. 

“I’m not even finished with my first.” You raised your glass as to show him. 

He smiled, “well, I want to know everything. So we might be here for awhile.” 

It could have been hours later or even just minutes, you couldn’t tell. You didn’t care. Tobbi was telling you yet another story that had you crying with laughter. You were now three drinks in and you were glad for it, your nerves were gone and in their place was just contentment. The conversation flowed easy with him and he actually listened, he actually cared about what you had to say. It was nice and it was exciting and the small smiles he’d give you and the touches on your shoulders were only making everything feel a bit more real. You hadn’t even thought of Poe once and you didn’t know how to feel about that.

“We should...we should do this again sometime.” Tobbi suggested after you both calmed down from your laughing fit. 

“Yeah, we should.” You smiled, looking into his eyes. You cursed yourself for wishing they were his.

“How about tomorrow? Around dinner?” You tried to stop your smile from growing even more. You didn’t want to look like a dork but the wide grin on his face said you weren’t alone in what you were feeling. But before you could answer, you felt someone behind you. 

“Actually she can’t tomorrow, we have to go chase a lead. General’s orders.” Tobbi’s smile fell and you turned to see Poe. You were surprised to see the medic was nowhere in sight. Poe’s hand came to rest on the small of your back which didn’t go unnoticed by Tobbi. 

“Well, then some other time.” Tobbi didn’t let Poe discourage him, you both had a great time. 

“Most definitely.” You confirmed. You were a little stunned as Tobbi leaned in and placed a kiss on your cheek and then bid his goodbye to both you and Poe. Your cheeks warmed at the touch. You heard Poe let out a huff and you turned to face him, his hand sliding away from your back. 

“What was that?” Poe asked, still watching Tobbi walk away. You couldn’t read him too well, was he… angry? 

“What was what?” You asked him as you finished your drink. 

“That. You and Tobbi.” He gestured to you, moving his hand around. 

“We were just talking. Fin told me he was interested so I made a move.” You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. But it kind of was. You were exploring your options and Tobbi was one hell of an option. But as you sat here talking to Poe, you were once again sucked into those brown eyes. Your time with Tobbi could only fend off your feelings for so long before they smacked you upside the head again. 

“So...what? You like Tobbi now?” You were trying to read him. He looked upset but he also looked downright angry more than anything. For the life of you, you couldn't figure out why he’d be upset about this. You tried not to think about earlier when he had asked if you two were okay. You were, but you were still confused about why Poe didn’t want you going on the mission and now this. He was acting strange lately and you didn’t know what the hell was going on but i was starting to piss you off a little bit.

“I don’t know, maybe.” You didn’t know Tobbi enough to say if you actually liked him or not. As a friend, yes you did. But you would need more time with him if you were going to answer that question. 

“Would it be a problem if I did?” You asked, trying to figure out why he was being weird about it. What was the harm in liking Tobbi?

He looked a little stunned, but mostly he looked like he couldn’t even think of an answer. 

“I...uh, no I guess not. But… I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He scratched the back of his neck. That small spark of hope that you had told you that maybe he was jealous, well, that got snuffed out right away. After all, why would he be jealous? You were the jealous one. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt either, Poe. That medic… do even know her that well?” She was still fairly new. At least Tobbi had been here as long as Poe. 

“Her names Alisa, I… she’s a nice girl.” You snorted, nice? She didn’t seem too nice. Always giving you dirty looks, not even trying to be friendly to Rey and Finn. 

“Right, well you worry about Alisa and I’ll worry about Tobbi.” You said. You didn’t mean for it to come out bitter but you were having a nice time with Tobbi, he was taking your mind off Poe. You loved Poe but you were slowly killing yourself by waiting for him, by waiting for something that could possibly never come. It was tortue and you were giving him your all, but not receiving anything from him in return. And although you’d still put him before yourself, you needed to take time to navigate what exactly that meant and how you were going to work through it. 

“Sweetheart? I didn’t mean to upset you...I just…” He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. He sighed and licked his lips. 

“I’m sorry. It’s not my place.” He adds, settling on that. You wish it was his place, you wish he’d say that no, he didn’t want you starting anything with Tobbi because he wanted you. But that dangerous thought was what brought you to amuse Tobbi’s forwardness. You needed to stop holding out hope, stop holding out for these crazy scenarios that maybe, just maybe he was in love with you too.

“It’s fine, sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You said, fiddling with your empty glass. 

“Is it too much to ask if you’re staying with me tonight? I didn’t get much sleep on the trip.” Whether it was because he didn’t have you in his bed or because he was  busy, he didn’t say and you didn’t know if you wanted to know the answer. 

You also didn’t know if it was smart to continue warming Poe’s bed if you were planning on continuing whatever the hell you wanted from Tobbi. But you had never been smart when it came to Poe, it was honestly sad how any critical thinking skills went out the window when you were with him. 

“No, it’s not too much.” But you still gave in, each and every time. 

He gave you one of those boyish smiles that you loved so much and held his hand out. You bit your lip and placed your hand in his as he pulled you out of your seat. Still holding your hand all the way back to base and to his quarters. It was the hand holding and the pet names that kept you stuck in that endless pit of hope. 

BB-8 stayed charging and resting as you both walked in. Moving around each other in the usual routine of shared clothes and stolen glances. You don’t think you’d ever get used to seeing Poe’s bare chest. Didn’t think you’d ever want to stop wanting to run your hands down the tanned skin, running along his muscles. You hoped you weren’t drooling as you slid into bed and he got in next to you. 

“Come here.” He said, pulling you into his chest. Your cheeks were on fire as you cuddled up against his warm chest. This was different. 

“I just…” He cleared his throat and looked down at you, you met his gaze. Your nose was brushing his, breathing the same air as him as his breath fanned your lips. Your heart was doing back flips at how close you two were yet again. You had been aching to see Poe, not only worried about him but you missed him in your bed, even if it was for a few days. And that thought, that thought was dangerous. Because there was going to come a time when Poe would get over the nightmares and he wouldn’t need you to chase them away. Wouldn’t need you. 

You swallowed hard and pushed the thought from your mind. Right now you were needed, right now you were wanted. It was torture but you’d take it. 

You bring your hand up to his cheek, cupping it. He nuzzled your palm with his nose and placed a kiss there. Your stomach flipped and your body buzzed with the touch, awakening you. You were taken back by the action, surprised at the affection. It felt so intimate, so raw and confessing. But that’s not what it was, was it? The hope in you woke up from its slumber to remind you that the other day you two had a moment. And that you were having one right now. But hope is a dangerous thing for someone like you to have for Poe. 

“You just…” You urged him to continue his sentence. 

He leaned in closer, nudging his nose against yours. You didn’t know what to do. Why was he being so touchy tonight? Why was he doing this to you? Giving you all this just for him to hang around Alisa. Was this because of Tobbi? 

“I just want to hold you tonight.” I wish you’d hold me every night, is what you wanted to say. But this was your reality. Getting Poe at night in the seclusion of his quarters, and only getting some of him once the sun came up. 

His words felt like another confession. Another moment. 

“Poe…” Your heart ached, really truly aching, something wretched and cruel to have him so close and hear those sweet words from his lips but still have that disconnect. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” He asked, looking into your eyes. The two moons of Ajan Kloss casted a soft silvery glow to his face as the light leaked in through the window. Maker, he was almost too beautiful to look at. You felt another pang to your heart as you realized you couldn’t actually tell him how you felt. You couldn’t just lean in a little bit and press your lips to his. This was your best friend, your lifeline, your… heart. And as much as it killed you to only be his friend, you’d gladly slowly kill yourself just to have him in some way. 

“I…” You cleared your throat, “uh… goodnight.” You said, and turned around in his arms. If he wanted to hold you, you’d let him. But you couldn’t bring yourself to face him because you wanted so desperately to bury your face in his neck and cling to him. And if you did that you were positive you’d break. 

You missed Poe’s fallen face as you turned from him. But he still pulled you in nonetheless. His breath tickled the back of your neck, causing goosebumps to form along your body. You shivered slightly and curled the blankets around you tighter. But he snuggled further into you, warming you up. 

“Goodnight, honey.” He said and then pressed a kiss to the back of your neck, repeating your actions from a few nights ago. Your body settled into him naturally and before your thoughts could run wild, his smell and his warmth lulled you straight to sleep. 

Taglist: @starrynite7114​ @briannab1234​ @imaginecrushes​ @benakenalove​ @springfox04​ @beyoncesdragon​ @thefuturelawyer​ @itsamedeemoney​ @whatupitshuff​ @softly-sad​

#poe dameron #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #sw #for you id bleed myself dry

[let-love-run-red]

Blue

AN: I am so sorry loves, I know I’ve been terrible about updating things. between Covid and my classes being moved online I’ve been so busy. I will try to be better about updating, but I can’t promise anything. Anyway, here it is, the long awaited update to Daffodils.

"Hey Ben, my parents called." You yelled down the hall from the bathroom where you were currently brushing your teeth. You leaned over the sink and spat the foam into the stream of running water, before using the cup you'd brought to rinse your mouth. You heard a faint response from Ben over the heavy metal music pumping from the speakers in his dark room before continuing.

"They said they were coming home soon, they didn't tell me when though." You stepped over Angel and between Bb-8's paws as you made your way to Ben's room. You felt the bass reverberating in your chest and rolled your eyes. The neighbors must hate him, but Leia wasn't here to tell him to turn the music down.

"You alright?" You yelled, walking into the room and looking around. Ben was nowhere in sight. You wondered where he could be until he walked out of the small closet with a pair of sweatpants and a too-tight band tee on. He was headbanging with the music and you chuckled. Why were you best friends with this dork?

"My world, my love why do you torment me, To give up and give in to all you are? I like the man I am, but I despise the fool I've been." He sang before flopping onto his bed with his phone. He looked to the doorway and leaped to turn the volume down.

"Sorry (y/n) I didn't hear you come in." He said. You chuckled as you walked towards the bed and lay down next to him, poking him until he moved over enough so you weren't falling off the bed. You threw your arm over his stomach, leaning against him and resting your cheek on his shoulder.

The two of you lay like that for a while. You, thinking of your life and how you ended up here. While Ben scrolled through his Reddit feed, occasionally responding to a message on snapchat.

"Ben," You waited for an answer. He gave a nondescript hum and you took that as your sign to continue. "why did you put your stud back in?" You asked. He hadn't put his stud in since the end of sophomore year. Which is why it startled you today. You heard the clicking of the stud against his teeth again before he shrugged.

"Just thought I shouldn't let the hole close." He said, not looking up from his phone. You placed your hand against his stomach, leaning on it to sit up and look at his face. He winced and let out a huff as you put pressure on his gut.

He looked up from the screen to see you leaning against him with your head tilted. He dropped his phone on his chest and reached towards you, running his hand over your hair gently, before pushing you back onto the covers with a giggle.

"You're a dork Ben." You said as you rolled onto your stomach and pushed yourself up. Ben had set his phone on the small table next to his bed before smiling at you.

"So, you said your parents called?" He asked. You nodded before laying down on the bed with your legs dangling over the edge and your head on his stomach.

"Yeah, they said they would be home soon. It's about time, they've been away for weeks." You grumbled. You never thought you would miss your overbearing parents, but they were still your parents.

"Does that mean you have to go?" Ben asked, sadness creeping into his voice.

"No, they know I'm staying here and don't care. I mean when they get home I will but for now I'm not going anywhere." You rolled onto your stomach, resting your chin on his stomach and looking up at him.

"Good, I like you being here." Ben said. You smiled at him.

"Is your mom coming home anytime like, ever?" You asked. It was six thirty and Leia still wasn't home. She was almost always home by five thirty.

"Nah, she said she had a work party so she's staying in a hotel with one of her work friends tonight. It's easier than coming home." Ben said, a frown crossing his features.

"A friend?" You grinned cheekily. It had been years since Han left, Leia deserved to be happy.

"Ew no, gross that's my mom." Ben said with a chuckle as he pushed you off his stomach and poked at your sides and stomach until you slid off the bed and onto the floor in a fit of giggles.

Ben slid off the bed next to you, laying on the floor with you and looking at your face as you smiled.

"You're pretty." He said with a soft smile. You felt your cheeks burn hot before pushing his shoulder and pulling the collar of your shirt up over your nose.

"Oh my god shut up." You said through laughter. He rested his hand on your cheek, pulling the collar of your shirt down and lifting your head.

"I'm serious (y/n), you're pretty." Ben said. You reached out to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling yourself towards him before pressing your face against his chest.

"Stop being so sappy." You mumbled against his shirt. You felt his chuckle rumble through his chest as he rubbed your back.

The two of you lay in comfortable silence. Listening to the other breathe, listening to Ben's soft humming and the occasional click of his tongue stud against his teeth. You scratched his back lightly and he let out a contented sigh as he rested his chin on your head. You could imagine the soft smile on his face as he leaned against your touch.

"So, the dance." Ben said quietly. You hummed in response, urging him to continue.

"Did you come up with that choreography?" He asked. You shook your head against his chest. It had mostly been David, he'd been on the dance team longer than you and you assumed he'd have more experience.

"What about the song? Did you choose that?"

"Ew no, you think I would choose rap for a dance? Ben it's me you're talking to." You said as you tilted your head up to look at him. He let out a chuckle and pulled you against his chest again.

"Alright alright, just curious. Honestly it's not my type either but anything to help you out." He said. You hummed in thought.

"What if we changed songs?" You suggested. Now it was Ben's turn to look confused.

"To what?" He questioned.

"I don't know, there's this one son, Ancient History by a band called Set It Off that's really good." You said. Ben tilted his head.

"I didn't know you listened to Set It Off. I've heard that song, it's a bit fast paced isn't it?" Ben asked, sitting up on the floor. You shifted so your head was in his lap as he rubbed your back.

"I mean I guess," you paused, rolling on your back to smile up at Ben, "luckily I know an amazing guitar player who could do an acoustic cover?" You scrunched your eyes shut and flashed him the widest smile you could, folding your hands in a "pretty please." You heard Ben hum in thought.

"I dunno, what's in it for me?" He asked as he tickled you.

"Ben!" You exclaimed, dropping your hands onto your stomach and scowling at him.

"(y/n)!" he mimicked your high pitch.

"You won't just do it for a friend?" You asked, sitting up and leaning dramatically against him. He sighed and leaned his head against yours, turning so your foreheads were pressed together, noses just brushing.

"No, not a friend," He paused, reaching for your hand and holding it in his own, "but I'd do it for you." You felt the heat rising to your cheeks and squeezed your eyes shut as you lowered your head to bury your face against his neck.

"You're such a sap." You said, pushing his shoulder gently. He let out a chuckle and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap to lean against his broad chest. He'd long ago removed the leather jacket and skinny jeans covered in chains, dropping them in the hamper next to the studded boots. He wasn't Ben the goth, Ben the guy everybody avoided, he was your Ben.

Your best friend who tried to pierce his nose in eighth grade and got an infection, your Ben who taught himself to braid hair to help you with prom hairstyles, your Ben who snuck in your window to look at stars and who cuddled your dog and loved Playdough ice cream a little too much. He was your Ben who got himself arrested for beating your abusive ex, who dealt with black eyes and broken noses for you no matter how often you told him he didn't have to fight for you, because you were already here. You were here and you were never letting him go.

**

The concert was tonight. Your parents had come home that morning, despite saying they would be home soon two weeks ago. You didn't question it, Leia was more than happy to let you stay in her home.

"It makes me feel better knowing you're here and safe than alone. Anything could happen." She said with a pointed glance. Leia was not an oblivious woman, you had no doubt she knew something had happened with Hux that pushed Ben to sit in a holding cell for a while, but Leia was a saint and let you keep your secrets.

Ben had gotten his band together to record you an acoustic cover of the song Ancient History by Set it Off for your dance. Finn even told you Ben had pulled out some of his old piano skills for the background and convinced Mitika to put away his drumsticks for a few minutes. You hadn't expected him to go that far but you were grateful he had. It sounded amazing.

Now you were backstage in your costume, a flowing white sundress with a chiffon skirt, gold neckline, and a pair of tight white shorts underneath. You had managed to wrestle Ben into a pair of tight black leggings that, to anybody else, looked like jeans with a white T-shirt. Your dance was simple with the use of a prop Rey had built for you in her theater tech class. Ben was currently watching the routine before yours, picking nervously at his pants as he fussed with his hair.

"(y/n) I don't know if I can do this." He said, turning to you with a terrified look in his eyes. You gave him a small smile as you pulled him into a hug.

"Ben we've practiced every day for two weeks, we've got this. You've got this." You said softly to avoid being heard. He relaxed and rested his chin on your head with a sigh. You heard the applause and watched the lights dim as the group before you walked off the stage. You grabbed one side of your small "wall," unlocking the wheels on the bottom and pulling it onto stage as Ben helped you guide it to the middle and position it where it needed to be. You both took your positions as the song began.

No, there's no denying chemistry this strong Yes, pretend it's right but we both know it's wrong...

***

"Mom! Dad! I didn't think you were going to make it!" You exclaimed, running towards your parents when you saw them outside. You hugged your mother first, then your father. They smiled at you, well, your mom did. Your dad just scowled at Ben the way he always did. Ben approached the two, shaking your father's hand and reaching to shake your mothers when she pulled him into a hug.

You pulled back with a wide smile, waiting for their responses. Your mother immediately started congratulating you, while your father returned to glaring at Ben. Ben was unphased, ever since Ben had first been suspended, first gotten a piercing, your father had been less than kind to Ben. He was used to it. Thinking back, it was around the time Han left that your dad started being nasty to Ben. Leia seemed to materialize from thin air next to you, pulling her own son into a hug and holding him close to her. He leaned into her embrace, a contented smile on his face as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm so proud of you Ben." Leia said as she pulled away to look into his eyes. Someone a few parking spots away called her name, and she patted Ben's shoulder before leaving to talk to whoever had called her.

"So why were you her partner, hm?" Your dad asked sharply, earning a swat to the chest from your mother accompanied by a harsh "Greg."

"Her original partner broke his arm, and the coach asked me?" Ben said, mild confusion in his voice. He was used to indirect hostility from your dad, not a direct challenge.

"Wouldn't be surprised if you broke it." Your dad muttered, earning another sharp "Greg!" From your mother as she dropped her hands and turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"I, no sir I didn't." Ben seemed to shrink within himself. He felt like he was a little kid in the front yard who accidentally broke his mother’s flowerpot. He knew she wouldn't mind, would just make him clean it up and plant new flowers, but Han was the one who had found it. Han did mind.

***

"Benjamin Lando Solo!" Han's voice boomed from the front yard. Ben flinched as he slowly turned to peek out the open garage door where he'd been tinkering with his wooden box he'd been trying to put together for months.

He'd broken his mom’s blue flowerpot, the one with the pretty yellow daffodils in it. He was going to tell her when she got home, but she was getting groceries. He'd broken flowerpots before when he wasn't being careful, never on purpose, sometimes it was a ball or he fell off his bike or he tripped over the crack in the driveway, he didn't mean to.

Ben slunk from the garage, approaching Han cautiously with his head down.

"What is this, hm?" Han snapped, pointing to the neat pile of blue ceramic shards with the yellow daffodils sitting inside neatly. Ben had swept the dirt into the flower garden and set the flowers up until Leia got home so he could tell her and help her replant the flowers.

"A broken pot." Ben said quietly, still looking at his scuffed sneakers rather than his father's face.

"Did you do it?" Han asked. Ben nodded, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for more harsh words.

"I asked you a question Ben." Han snapped again. Ben swallowed deeply, trying to keep himself from crying.

"Yes." He whispered. Han planted his hand atop Ben's head, lifting it so his son was forced to look him in the eyes. Ben winced, squeezing his eyes shut and willing the tears back into his eyes.

"What was that?" Han growled.

"Yes sir." Ben said, swallowing again. Han pushed Ben towards the neat pile hard enough for Ben to fall on his knees, ripping a hole in the denim as his knees connected with the rough cement.

"Clean it up." Han snapped, standing over Ben with folded arms. Ben looked at the flowers sitting happily on top of the pile. What was he supposed to clean up? He knew his mom would want to keep the flowers, maybe she could fix the pot? It wasn't that broken. He hesitated a bit too long and Han hauled him to his feet by gripping the hood of his favorite black jacket and pulling.

"I said, clean. it. up." Han snarled, holding Ben high enough off the ground that his toes barely touched. He heard the seam of his hood ripping and began squirming, trying to get Han to let him go.

"Dad, please you're ripping my jacket." Ben said, trying to hold his weight on his toes as much as he could.

"That’s not the point!" Han roared in Ben's face. Ben winced and felt the tears begin to stream down his face as he held the front collar of his jacket to keep from being choked. Han finally let him go, dropping him to his feet before stomping away muttering "useless" and other assortments under his breath. Ben heard the engine of his mother’s car, quickly wiping his eyes with his sleeve before turning and meeting her in the garage, hugging her as tight as he could while she examined his ripped hood.

**

"Don't lie to me. I know what you're after." Your dad snarled, stepping towards Ben and glaring up at him. Ben stepped back nervously as you stood beside your mother.

"I-I, what?" Ben asked, swallowing nervously. He stepped backwards and stumbled as he kicked the toe of his own boot.

"Greg!" Your mother snapped. Your dad ignored her, reaching forward, grabbing the collar of Ben's jacket and pulling him down to his height.

"Dad!" You called, starting to feel scared for Ben. You knew he could fight, knew if he wanted to he could knock your father on the floor in a second, but you had never seen him freeze like this.

"You've always been after my daughter. But let me tell you, I will never let a delinquent piece of shit like you anywhere near my little girl. I'm surprised you stay out of jail for a week at a time, your dad was right to leave." Your dad hissed. Ben's brows furrowed and he stood to his full height, pushing your dads’ hands off him.

"Dude, shut the fuck up." Ben growled. It was a warning, you could tell. You looked to your mother, who seemed just as frozen as Ben had been, but also on the verge of tears.

"You're never getting near her, you're like him, a deadbeat drunk piece of shit who walks out on his family. You'll be just like your father." Your dad jabbed his finger into Ben's chest.

"I said shut, the fuck, up!" Ben yelled as he knocked your dads hand away and shoved him hard enough to cause your dad to stumble.

"Dad!" You snapped. Your dad hesitated for a moment before trying to charge Ben to tackle him to the ground.

"Dad what the fuck?!" You yelled. Your dad stopped trying to push Ben, who had planted his heels into the ground and wound up his fist to hit your father in the face.

"What did you just say to me young lady?" He asked harshly. You stepped away from your mother, grabbing your dad's arm and pulling him away from Ben.

"What the fuck dad?" You said, placing yourself between your dad and Ben. Ben was breathing heavily with shaking shoulders. You could hear the rapid click of his stud against his teeth. You wrapped an arm comfortingly around his waist as you glared at your dad.

"What did he even do to you?" You asked as Ben leaned against you. Your dad looked between the two of you and looked even angrier. You looked to your mom to see tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What happened while you were on your 'extended honeymoon'?" You asked, quoting the words extended honeymoon. Your mom looked away, covering her mouth. Your dad looked to her, but she refused to look at him.

"I'm just trying to protect you honey." Your dad said softly, stepping forward and holding his arms out to you. Ben let out a rumble from his chest and stepped forward protectively, pushing you behind him before he could think of what your dad would do.

"Let her go right now." Your dad snapped. You stepped out form around Ben, resting a hand gently on his chest.

"Protect me from what?" You asked. He couldn't mean Ben, could he? Ben was sweet, he was protective, you trusted him more than anybody, he was your best friend, you loved him.

"From, from him. He's not good for you, can't you see he's going to be just like Han?" Your dad said, reaching for you and gripping your wrist. Ben growled and stepped forward harshly, pushing against your hand. You pushed back and turned to look at him as you pulled your arm from your dad's grip.

"Greg." Your mom said finally. He turned to look at her.

"This is exactly what I was talking about. You can't think about things calmly. You take everything as a personal offense, and here you are assaulting a teenager who has been nothing but good to our daughter for ten years." Your mom said, stepping forward to pull your father back by his shoulder.

"I take it back, I don't think we can work this out. I want you to sign the papers and get your things and be out of the house tonight." She said. Your dad stared open mouthed. You blinked in confusion, looking between the two adults before finally turning to Ben who had stepped forward and rested an arm across your chest protectively.

Your dad let out a few huffs, trying to find something to say. Your mom shook her head, turning to walk to the car, leaving you standing there with Ben and your father. Your dad turned to look at Ben, then at you, then where he had his arm.

"What happened to Armitage hm? He was a good respectable boy, why did you decide you wanted this, this, this," Your dad spit as his face turned red "this screwup? Has he hit you? Did he force you to do anything?" Your dad asked, glaring at Ben and reaching for you again. This time you didn't protest when Ben let out an angry hiss as he pushed you behind him and puffed out his chest.

"That respectable boy hit her, slapped her, left bruises so deep they were black on her, and scared her so bad she came to me crying at 10 at fucking night begging to stay with me." Ben said harshly, backing your dad down with every step. "That respectable boy is the one who hit her, who tried to force her to do things, and would have succeeded if it weren't for me. I am not a screwup, and I am sure as hell better at protecting her than you." Ben jammed his finger into your father’s chest before turning to face you and herding you away from your dad towards the Falcon. You tried to take a few steps, before everything sank in and you stumbled against Ben.

"Hey, hey it's ok." Ben said gently, shrugging off his blue jacket and wrapping you in it gently before bending down, sweeping an arm under your legs and holding you bridal style in his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your face against his shoulder and letting the tears run down your cheeks, ruining your makeup and no doubt staining his white T-shirt. Ben just held you close, carrying you to the car to take you home.

**

Taglist: @scarletsoldierrr​, @simonsbluee​, @ktellmeastory​, @keithseabrook27​, @imaginecrushes​, @but-kairis-not-that-smart, @zeuniel​, @bittersweetbooke​, @permanentmess​, 

#ben solo x reader #ben solo au #modern!ben solo #daffodils #empressrenwrites #ben solo #ben solo fic #ben solo angst #ben solo fluff #domestic abuse warning #band!au #guitarist!ben solo #x reader #xreader #reader insert #female reader #divorce warning #self insert #self insert fic

[eirenare]

My TROS experience and thoughts (the good, the bad, a bit of speculation, an “old” WIP drawing, and... hopes)

Putting this under a “read more” because, well... this post is a huge walking spoiler

This morning I woke up really, really early to re-watch TLJ with my brother and do stuff before the hour of watching TROS arrived—I remember almost crying watching TLJ, already almost crying listening to that damn TROS song on Fortnite as my brother played it for a while

I was nervous all day long, honestly. I accidentally stumbled the other day into a hashtag on Twitter called “BenSoloDeservedBetter”, and I was already on edge. A lot. Not to mention that I accidentally saw half a comment somewhere on Twitter saying something that had made me doubt

So, yeah, I basically spent all day trying to give myself hope and reassurance while deeply having ONE FEAR. That was: Ben not surviving

You see, I love with every inch of my being Reylo, but—Ben is my favorite character of all Star Wars. Like, I can’t help it, I have a super soft spot for him

I had, like, super high hopes for TROS, and yeah, I liked the movie... or well, most of it (and I got some things right to my delight and surprise, one of them being the throne with Dark Rey sitting in it, but more on that stuff later)

There were funny moments I enjoyed (Babu Frik, Finn joking about Poe’s past as spice runner, C3PO being C3PO...), the scary/terrorific moments were amazing (gods I love Palpatine’s new appearence, all the Sith and eerie stuff, the whispers, the machinery...), the action/fight scenes were cool overall (Rey and Ben fighting together against their enemies after seeing each other and doing the lightsaber trick was amazing, for example, also the jumps, and I loved seeing all the spaceships together), the imagery was sometimes amazing too (Palpatine sending that enormous lighting to the sky, for example) and the emotional stuff weirdly enough didn’t make me cry but had my heart pounding (Leia’s passing, Han and Ben’s parallel scene, Rey and Ben’s healing scene and their last scene...), not to mention I was gripping tightly my bag and jacket to my lap throughout most of the movie, BUT

B  U  T

The fact that Ben didn’t make it out alive left me very, VERY bitter

I have to say, again, that weirdly enough I just... didn’t cry, even when Rey died, not even when Ben died, and he’s my favorite. Most of the times it happens, that my brain’s kind of... messy, when it comes to emotions (it seems that, most of the time, my brain just goes from “step: something happens” to “step: body/voice reaction” skipping “step: feel” in the middle—... although that usually doesn’t happen if the emotions are negative, which sucks specially if you already feel like you yourself are a mess—), so... yeah

It kind of... Well, the tears didn’t start falling until I was watching the credits with my brother (bless his soul for listening to my rambling, and for granting me multiple hugs, for calling my dear “Ben” instead of “Kylo” now, and overall being so patient with me—I didn’t miss the fact that he was looking at my reactions at some points, like when the Reylo kiss, and then Ben dying, because he knows how much I love them), when it registered that it was really the end, and that yes, Ben was... dead. I kept crying as we watched the credits, and then outside of the theater a bit again, and then at home, and I’m now crying as I write this

Look, I loved the Reylo moments we got even though I wanted some more. And although (as I explained above) I was “numb” almost all the time and even while watching the kiss, I enjoyed it and I could “feel” that I was happy and excited about it because my chest was pounding like crazy and my lips were doing that kind of quivering when you can’t quite contain yourself and you’re emotional

(... Yes, living with this brain of mine is a mess, and I don’t even know if this has always been like this or started at some point, because my memory’s also a good mess—I hate this so much)

But then—then I saw Ben fall backwards and start to disappear, and I went from glee and triumph to “oh no” (also: hello there pit my old friend)

I mean... They just went and killed a character that was trying to do good after a life of strife with himself and what he did and did not do, a character that was just starting to go to the light (to see the light)—a character that’s been all his life marked by the abuse he’s been suffering ever since he was in the kriffing womb, therefore not even allowing him to really live. They basically killed... a symbol of hope

It feels sad and discouraging for me, even though what he did was noble

It just stings. And the fact that Rey didn’t see Ben at the end alongside Leia and Luke, when she adopts the surname “Skywalker”? ... Why. They could’ve added him, but no. Why. And I have to say, while I like a lot “Rey Nobody”, I also like the contrast between her and Palpatine, the subversion of dark and light, that even though darkness runs in her veins, she would still choose the light.

(Also, the totally not serious question my brother and I joke about, though: who the fuck decided to have a crazy night with Mr. Raisin Ass and to give him an “heir”?)

To soothe myself, I like to think that since Ben “vanished” into the Force and became one with it, and that since Rey’s kind of “a host” of the Force (?), he’s now always with her and they can feel each other. I like to think that, sometimes, they’ll see each other, be able to be together if only for brief moments—maybe at night, sleeping, Rey would feel Ben wrapped around her (my feels asdbfkffnggjglg)

(You can bet your ass that I’m abso-kriffing-lutely going to write something about this because I NEED IT BADLY)

Another thing that soothes me is that Ben passed away with the biggest, most beautiful smile on his face, and even though I hate that he died, I’m glad he was able to feel that kind of happiness with Rey and that he was able to join the light side in the end—now, yeah, give me Force Ghost Ben at some point in the future at least,  p l e a s e

EDIT (addition of paragraph) — Also: Ben’s face when he looks at Rey every damn time, Ben running to Rey’s rescue with only a kriffing blaster, again the fight they had and when Rey sent him the lightsaber, and then lifting himself up from the pit with all his kriffing injuries and the pain he must have been enduring to then give up his life to save the love of his life—iconic, badass, a true dork in love whom I adore, the kriffing boss. But you know what I missed A LOT, that I realized I didn’t remember it being in the movie after watching it?? The “I DO”. I don’t think I’ve heard its equivalent in Spanish, and that has me pretty much confused and bitter. Like, wtf? If they let that out:  w h y ?

Kathleen Kennedy pretty much hinted that maybe we’ll see “more Skywalkers” in the future, so, yeah *looks sideways at Rey and her ghost husband* Praying that they’d be in that “Project Luminous” of 2020, or later, but just... be somewhere else more

Something that bothers me, though—is there really a balance in the Force, after TROS? Rey’s lineage may be of dark and she may have taken the path of the light, but does that mean the Force is balanced now, or maybe not...? *scratches head* I don’t know, I need a re-watch and to have some serious thinking of this

As I write this post, I’m trembling almost to a shaking point and my chest is hurting. In all honesty, as much as I love Reylo... If I had to choose between Reylo happening or Ben living, I’d choose Ben living

... Now, it’s gonna hurt so much more reading “The Rise of Kylo Ren”. Oh, dear

If we set aside Ben’s passing, though, regarding how I saw the movie, I’d say that as much as I enjoyed it overall, it kind of felt like... it lacked things. Explanations and a bit more of worldbuilding, for example? More Knights of Ren stuff (although luckily we’re having them in “The Rise of Kylo Ren” alongside their leader, Mr. Hottie McHotHot aka Ren? Maz explaining how she got the Legacy lightsaber? TROS kind of feels, like... a little incomplete to me. I don’t know if to others it feels that way, but it kinda feels like that for me and my brother

Still I’m aware that, well, it HAS to be difficult to end such a story, and that it can’t possibly be easier to fit a lot in a 2h33 movie, you know? It seems... very complicated, and the stakes were high. So yeah, I understand that (while what I don’t take well at all, I don’t think I’ll ever do, is Ben’s death—it was pointless, and the fact that Rey didn’t show too much feeling about it... it feels weird). And well, the junior and non-junior novelizations will come out in March, so I like to think that we’ll get more details in them (like with the TFA and TLJ novelizations)

... And I really, really need a good rewatch of TROS because I’m forgetting a lot of stuff probably. So yeah, next Thursday if all goes well, I should have a ticket to go and watch it again, except this time in English with Spanish subtitles

A funny thing that happened at the theater, by the way, was that a woman hissed in excitement a pair of rows before us “I KNEW IT” when Rey was revealed to be a Palpatine

Also: I really, really hope that Rey doesn’t stay in Tatooine with how much she loves greenery landscape. I hope she went anywhere else that’s green and lush and was able to lead a nice life, to actually live the life Ben granted her, whatever path she would choose to take—and that Ben’s ghost would kind of like, be around her, you know?

Now, there are some things that made me laugh inside, and that is... that I got some stuff right. An example of that is the fact that Rey mentioned seeing herself sitting on that throne, something that happens in my “Rey of Jakku” fic and of which I was doing a WIP the last days of november (look, that happening was the thing least probable in my mind so... lol):

Also the cannon distroying Kijimi, too, and it seems that about the nature of Rey and Ben’s bond too. Also, when C3PO started explaining about the Pasaana festivity it kind of reminded me of how he started explaining the marriage customs in my “arranged marriage in Pasaana” AU. And I don’t remember now because my head’s pretty much a mess and specially right now (and as I said I really need a re-watch), but I think I recognized other things too

TROS wasn’t what I expected, and on the scales it has both its good and its not-so-good things (being the worst of them, for me, Ben’s death—of which I’m trying to cope by thinking what I said of him being literally with Rey now, maybe sometimes being able to see each other and interact), so... it’s a weird mix of me liking the movie while also not enjoying it nearly as much as I wanted to (as I think I should’ve)

Even though I’m super bitter about Ben, however, thank you to all of the team for working hard on the movie—doing the last piece of the Skywalker saga movies sounds everything but easy

Now, looking forward to the future...

I see myself continuing to write and draw Reylo, honestly. Ben’s death has kind of spurred me further to do stuff, so yeah—gonna keep up with my alternate TROS Reylo fic (“Rey of Jakku”), and I’m pumped to attempt writing other stuff, like... trying to write regarding Force Ghost Ben interacting with Rey, or working on AUs (*looks sideways at the “arranged marriage in Pasaana” AU, “Ice-skating” AU and the “padawan Ben meets mechanic Rey in Batuu” AU)

Will also be looking forward with utmost interest at “The Rise of Kylo Ren”, and to see what the merchandising team and the books and comics have to show in 2020—which means I’ll be dying inside all over again when I see Ben and Rey’s last scene, but well *shrugs* The novels are specially interesting to me. I mean, getting to read how these two felt about each other throughout TROS, and specially at the end? Written by Rae Carson? YES PLEASE

Also, if “Project Luminous” happened to have Rey (and even better yet: Force Ghost Ben appearing), I’d be even more interested in it—a lot more

The experience with TROS was a mix of good and not-so-good things, coupled with the One Fear I had regarding Ben (my baby... oh, how that kriffing stings), but still, it wasn’t that bad of an experience in my case

So, yeah... I think I’ll write some more thoughts later, tomorrow or another day when my head’s clearer (probably will write more when I re-watch), but so far, these are my thoughts on TROS

Rest in peace, darling, beloved Ben... </3 T_T

#Reylo #My art #Baby boy Ben Solo #Ben Solo #Kylo Ren #My TROS experience #TROS #The Rise of Skywalker #Star Wars #SW #Star Wars TROS #SW TROS #Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker #SW The Rise of Skywalker

[laughing-with-god]

Pandemonium VII

Words; 4k

“Let them all say

Hey Lolita, hey

Hey Lolita, hey

I know what the boys want, I’m not gonna play”- Lana Del Rey, Lolita

It was quiet for a moment.

The only sounds being heard in the room was Jimin’s ragged breathing as the bleak sound echoed through the walls and came back to pierce your ears.

Everyone was currently staring at Taehyung, who just grinned with that rectangular smile as he bounced on the balls of his feet.  All too giddy with the attention he was getting.

Then, it erupted.  

If you had to guess what a demon sounded like, you’d think this was it.

A furious roar ripped through the room, the sound so thunderous and ear-aching that you couldn’t help but jump in your seat from shock.

“WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN MOTHER-IN-LAW?!  I TRUSTED YOU WHEN I SHOWED YOU THAT TEXT!”  Jimin had shot up from your grasp and lunged at his younger brother.

As you sat there, stunned while watching Taehyung and Jimin roll on the floor as Hoseok attempted to pry them apart with the help of Mr. Kim, it dawned upon you how Taehyung must’ve found out about your mother’s condition.  

Jimin.  

He must’ve stayed close enough to your ex sugar daddy in order to get information on you.  The shout from Jimin referencing the text just confirmed your suspicion, as within the ‘break-up’ text you sent Jimin, you mentioned your mom.  Jimin’s apparent feeling of betrayal caused you to shiver...did Taehyung really use his own brother to force himself into your life?

And although Jimin made little sense today, he did say one thing that you could agree on.

What the fuck did Taehyung mean when he called your mom his future mother-in-law?!

A wise scholar once said, “If a man does not have sauce, then he is lost.  But the same man can get lost in the sauce.”

You surveyed the scene around you.

Two brothers fighting before you, while two more brothers tried to tear them apart.  You looked to your side and saw Yoongi, Jungkook and Namjoon observing you carefully.  Yoongi focused on you while lazily rubbing the back of his neck. Namjoon just smirked and studied your expressions, way more enthralled by your reaction to said mayhem instead of the mayhem itself.  And Jungkook with a worried gaze as he nervously bit his lip. You shot a glare at them. Their lack of brotherly care made you slightly annoyed.

Shouldn’t they be more concerned with their siblings who were currently throwing hands?  Why the fuck did everyone enjoy putting you under a microscope?!

‘Yes’, you concluded to yourself.

Gucci Mane was right.  

It was all too possible for a man to get lost in the sauce.

In this particular scenario however, the sauce must’ve been male testosterone and crack cocaine.  

Only plausible explanation for the chaos that was ensuing before your eyes.  Or maybe their father’s sperm had a major defect where he was only able to father some shitheads with two functioning brain cells?

‘Shit head sperm’

Sounded very legit to you.

You released a very aggravated huff, and stood up to marched to the door.  

“Wait!  Y/n!”

“Y/n!”

“Don’t go!”  

You didn’t bother trying to decipher which three of the heirs called out to you given your back was turned to them.  You waved them off and sarcastically called out, “Mr. Kim, I’m going to have to pull my name from consideration. Thanks though.”  

And you slammed the door shut.  Almost right away you heard shuffling of feet and some more comments that were hard to make out through the mohagany door.  

You sped walked your way back to the waiting room, already hearing the sound of someone a couple yards behind you opening the conference room door to without a doubt, chase after you.  

The secretary lady became more clear in your line of vision the closer and closer you got to the front desk.  She looked confused, knowing that your interview couldn’t have been that short. You plastered a fake smile on your face and leaned over the desk when you finally got up to it.  

“Sis, I would call security to that room I was just in.  Some shit hit the fan.” You didn’t bother to stick around and witness her look of perplexion, running out of the building and hailing a taxi.  

--

Your search for a job continued, as did your unlucky streak.

The majority of places you applied for never called you back.  And the few that did, never asked to see you any further after the interview process.  

This bummed you out.  Since when did fast food chains and clothing stores become so picky about who to employ?  Becoming a stripper increasingly seemed more and more appealing to you.

It had been two weeks since the chaos of the conference room.  ‘The Conference Room Meltdown’ is what you nicknamed it in your head. Like some sort of legendary battle or historical tragedy.  Oddly enough, you felt rather numb after the whole ordeal. You couldn’t explain it, but for some reason, you found yourself not having any extreme reaction.  It’s almost like you were in shock. Like those soldiers who would witness some crazy shit, and then just go into a random sense of tranquility to calm down. It was as if your mind and body agreed that utter denial was the best way to cope with everything.  

Utter denial, indeed.  

You didn’t even share the crazy experience with Kat, thinking that to pretend it never happened was the best way to move on.  

You didn’t even allow yourself to think of the seven brothers, knowing that if you open that can of worms; you’ll end up with more questions than answers.

And your bruised heart, overworked brain and stressed out nervous system really did not need that.

However, there was one brother you couldn’t completely avoid.

Jungkook.

But before you can even come up with a plan on how to dodge him, it became apparent that ignoring him wasn’t going to be necessary.

He was ignoring you.  

For the first few days back to school, Jungkook was absent.  At first, you wondered if he dropped the class all together, but this was quickly ruled out when the professor approached

you and gave you the green-light to present the project by yourself because “Mr. Jungkook is quite ill and he won’t be back for a while.”

You were sort of relieved but also intrigued.

Was he giving you space?  Is he okay? Did something happen with his brothers?  

But you pushed this to the back of your head as you just focused on class.  Once again, you’ll never get answers so what’s the point of poking around?

However, one day you came into the classroom and saw the one and only muscle bunny already there.  

But...he was different.

On his face, you saw faded purple, blue and slightly green/yellowish bruises marking his usually porcelain skin.  Particularly, on the left side of his face was a stain of brutal violence that covered his eye and went down to the high points of his cheek.  His lip was also swollen and marked.

You gasped.  

He looked like he got into a huge fight and took some brutal hits.  

Jungkook wasn’t like that though...He may be big and addicted to protein powder but he was still a massive dork.  You didn’t believe that the same guy who showed off his iron man socks to you in effort to convince you that he wasn’t a fuck boy, would start any sort of physical dispute.  

And the only people who should’ve left that room with any marks, would be Jimin or Taehyung.  

As you recall, Jungkook was just worriedly watching from the sidelines.  

At the moment, Jungkook was at the professor’s desk, gathering some work that he most likely missed.  Jungkook was wearing a white shirt under a large blue denim jacket with black pants.

He turned around, probably sensing your shocked stare.

Eye contact was made.

But what happened next, made you want to be responsible for the next bruise that will cover his face.

His doe eyes scrutinized you for a while, then his plump lips pulled back in a scoff as a look of annoyance was thrown at you

With that done, he turned his back on you and then found a seat somewhere up front.  (Which was far from your guys’ normal spot in the back).

So he was ignoring you.  

You huffed and went to your usual spot.

Fuck him.

You didn’t like him in the first place.  

He was annoying.

And you definitely were not at all bothered at the latest development of him openly blowing you off.

Hell, you welcomed it.  

Now you had your spot all to yourself.  

He was probably in a hissy fit due to your affiliation with his brother.  Which was stupid because you just hung out with Jimin, nothing sexual was done.  Even more microscopic strings attached you to the other brothers. But a man’s pride was a very fragile thing.  And Jungkook was the youngest and barely out of his boyhood.

You spent the next few days in that class just glaring at the back of Kook’s head.  

It wasn’t your fault that all of his brothers were crackheads.  

--

Your life was quiet.

No sugar daddy to hang out with.

No run-ins with any odd men who demand to know more of you.  

No partner in class.  

Everything was just so….still.

One late afternoon, you were cleaning your dorm.  

Kat and you didn’t have a defined place anywhere on the cleanliness spectrum.  There wasn’t a ‘clean’ roommate or a ‘messy’ one. You both were very average with the dorm.  You two would clean up after yourselves, but neither of you would get on each others backs for a wrapper on the floor or a plate in the sink.

But, the place needed some deep cleaning, things that no measly “pick up around here” would cover.   Like wiping the windows, scrubbing down the bathroom, cleaning out the fridge ect. And you decided that cleaning was going to be a productive way to keep your mind off of things.

You’ve been doing that alot.  Trying to keep yourself busy so that your mind didn’t have time to wander.  

However, trouble always found you.  Even when you were going out of your way to be unproblematic and productive, it still attached itself to you.  Like a moth to a flame.

You really didn’t have a chance.  

It happened while you were scrubbing the bathtub.  

You were sweating, vigorously scouring the bottom of the tub while on your knees, when your music (that was playing from your phone) suddenly stopped.

A ring replaced your favorite song, as an incoming call vibrated your phone.  

You got up to see who was calling you.

A series of unfamiliar numbers is what you saw on your screen.

Usually, you wouldn’t answer an unknown number.  However, you phone number was out there now on many application and as far as you know, this could be a potential employer trying to contact you.  With a sigh, you answered the call.

“Hello?”  

‘“Y/n, why I didn’t think you’d answer...”  A deep voice purred on the other line.

Your brow scrunched up in confusion.  The voice sounded vaguely familiar but no nearly enough due to your inability to pin-point its’ owner.

“I’m sorry, whose this?”  

“The one and only, Taehyung.”

“Lol bye”

“WAIT!  I have an offer for you!” He injected before you could hang up.

“.......an offer?” You asked, stunned.  What the fuck was this? A mafia deal?

“Yes! Just hear me out.”  A pause ensued only to be followed by, “I paid for your mother’s bills after all.”

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO DO THAT YOU MANIAC!  YOU JUST DID IT YOURSELF! ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP USING THIS OVER ME?!”  You yelled into the phone, furious that he use your mom to get you to abide his wishes.  

“Calm down sweet thing, I didn’t have intentions of using it as a manipulation tactic.  I just think that my charitable act should be evidence that I’m not all bad and that you should at least hear me out.”  He rumbled, seemingly bored and unimpressed with your screaming.

You sighed but you couldn’t deny that your interest was peaked.  Although you knew virtually nothing about them, you knew enough of Taehyung to know that he was a very interesting character.  Part of you just wanted to hear this fucker out for the hell of it.

“Fine, what is this ‘offer’?”

“I would very much like it if we met in person.  I just want to take you out for dinner and apologise for what happened during your interview.  That was uncalled for and I’m afraid my brothers and I look looked little boys to you instead of grown men.”  

“Thanks for apologizing, but I’m good.”  

“I’ll give you 800 to show up.”  He bluntly responded.

“WHAT!”  You choked.

“Y/n, I might seem very airheaded but I know enough to connect the dots.  Jimin was your sugar daddy whom you met on a site. You must’ve put yourself in that position because of your lack of funds that my older brother was oh so willing to provide.  Also, the reason you were in that building in the first place was do to a job interview. Which means, after you cut Jimin off, you needed to get money somehow and this is why you began to look for a job.  Chances are you’re still jobless since it’s only been two weeks and it’s rather tough out there. So do yourself a favor, and go eat a free dinner with me to walk out with 800 dollars.”

“FINE!”  You exploded.  He was like an evil genius, explaining everything to you step by step before putting a nail to your coffin.  “I’ll go! Bring it in cash. But let me make myself clear Mr. Kim, we will have no drinks, appetizers and certainly NO DESSERTS!”  You hung up before you could hear that bastard speak again.

And like that, you were pulled in.  

But who could blame you?

You were just a stressed out, jobless and broke college student.

You were just trying to get by…

--

Taehyung had texted you the address of a restaurants along with a time and you were currently seated in the back of a taxi, heading over there.  

You wore some basic jeans and a rather simple long sleeved shirt, your hair down and very minimalist makeup on your face.  This choice of attire was an act of rebellion on your part.

You’ll be damned if you actually dressed up for that smug asshole.

You weren’t even shocked when you pulled up to a very fancy establishment, already expecting Taehyung to be extra as hell.  You thanked the driver and paid your fare before making your way into the place.

Right away, you felt underdressed.  

People were wearing nice clothes and the atmosphere screamed ‘rich people only’.  

Live classical music played, all the waiters wore nice uniforms, the rugs on the marble floor looked foreign with its’ complex patterns and what is a stereotypical five star restaurant without a snooty hostess?  

She stood before the entrance to the actual fine dining room, taking peoples reservations and calls at a podium.  A small line was already formed before her, so you joined it.

When it was your turn, she gave you a dirty look.  

“Are you lost?”  She asked while giving you an up and down look as you stepped up to her.  She was tall, wore a red wine dress, blonde hair sculpted in a elaborate bun while her face was painted in delicate makeup.  You gave her a fake grin.

“In many ways, yes.  But location wise, no.  Someone should already be here waiting for me.”  

She arched a perfectly plucked brow, probably mentally calling your bluff.

“Oh really?  And just what is their name?”  She asked, voice falsely chipper.

“Kim Taehyung.”  

Her eyes gave you one more doubtful look before skimming down at the list before her.  

With sick satisfaction, you smirked at her widened eyes.  

“Oh!  I’m truly sorry Mrs. Kim!  Your husband did mention you!  Please, right this way.” With a panicked haze, she began to lead you to a table towards the back of the dining room.  Your jaw dropped at ‘Mrs. Kim’ and ‘your husband’, Taehyung really loved a shock value, huh? He was weirdly obsessed with being your husband.  He even called your mom his future mother in law! You snickered at that thought. Like hell was that ever going to happen…. Nonetheless, you allowed yourself to be led to him.

And there he was,

Seated,

Grinning,

And surrounded by 6 other men at a round table.

--

The first thing you noticed were the bruises.

Almost each of them held some sort of mark.

Some had purple and black blemishes, while others carried angry red lines on their faces.  Apparently, Jungkook wasn’t the only one who walked away injured.

The seven brothers looked like they got out of a fucking battlefield.  

Currently, you were seated between Yoongi and Namjoon.  (Yoongi had a red line cutting diagonally across his left check while Namjoon had a somewhat healed cut on the right side of his upper forehead.)

Namjoon had pulled out the seat for you as Yoongi gave you a shy smile that came across as slightly guilty to you.

Since it was a round table, you could see everyone’s faces very clearly and each of them were staring at you intently.  You could cut the tension with a knife as if it was melting butter.

You fixed your attention at the artist.

You glared at Taehyung who was conveniently straight across from you.

“I don’t enjoy being set up, Taehyung.”

“Baby, trust me with this one.  We’re gonna give you an offer you can’t refuse.”  He grinned at you. Tae’s bottom lip was very swollen and bruised and he had a shiner under his right eye.  

“Well, you better spit it out because I’m not staying for food anymore.  Also, telling the front lady that I’m your wife isn’t cute.”

“You told them WHAT?!”  Jimin screeched, facing the grinning artist.  You noted with a frown that Jimin’s left eye was all bruised and blue.  

“Jimin, remember what we said about controlling your emotions.”  Seokjin’s calming voice erupted. His beautiful, model worthy face held a faded bruise in his v-shaped jaw.  

At this reminder, Jimin snapped his mouth shut but didn’t cease his pouting.  

“Okay, can we talk about the elephant in the room?”  At the sound of your question, seven pairs of eyes turned to you.  “Why are you all beat up?”

An awkward silence laid itself on the table as you watched the brothers share worried glances.

“Y/n, we came to a very rough and difficult conclusion.”  Hoseok answered. You turned to him and rose a brow, waiting for more.  “We all want you in our lives.”

“At first, we were selfish and thought we could have you on our own.”  Seokjin continued.

“But, after you left us that day, we all got into a really big fight on who could have you.”  Jimin’s raspy but high voice informed you.

Next was Yoongi, “After almost killing each other, we agreed that we ought to find a better way to keep you without such bloodshed.”

“And we also want to help you with anything you might ever need or want.”  Jungkook added.

“So, Y/n….”  Namjoon purred.

Tae said the last part while smirking at you with his glimmering pharaoh eyes;

“Will you be our sugar baby?”  

--

“Ummm….how would that even work?”  You asked after a solid six minutes of just befuddled silence.  You didn’t even believe what was happening right now. It felt like a lucid dream you couldn’t get out of.  

“Simple.  We each will have our own time with you and you get an allowance from all seven of us.”  Namjoon explained in his deep voice.

“I don’t wanna be a glorified prostitute.”  You grumbled.

Yoongi heard this and laughed, gummy smile making an infamous appearance.  “Y/n, we don’t want sex from you. Just hanging out with you and getting to know you is good enough.”  

“How would you guys determine who hangs out with me and when?”  You asked.

“Well, we all have our own jobs to do.  When some of us aren’t busy, we’ll ask you out.  But ultimately, you get to choose who you want to see on day-to-day.”  Hoseok explained.

“Allowance?”  You asked.

“All seven of us agreed that one grand per person every week is good.  So you can expect seven grand every Friday.” Seokjin explained.

You choked.  

7,000 every week?!  

HELL YEAH YO-

You cut yourself off before finishing that thought.

This was too good to be true.  

“Are there any rules you want me to follow?”  You hoarsely asked, dreading the catch that was sure to come.  

“To be honest, we haven’t thought that far ahead.  But if you agree, we’ll draft up some and send it to a group chat that way we’re all clear.” Tae answered.

You bit your lip as you began to ponder the pros and cons to doing this.  7,000 a week would pay off your college tuition in no time. You’d be a fool to not take advantage of such a good deal.  And they just want you to hang out with them! No fucking required! But wait, in your haste to capture this bread, you forgot a major problem.

“I have a problem with two of you guys right now.”  You said, recalling your beef. All seven looked up in worry.

“Who?”   Yoongi asked.

“Well, Jimin still attacked my roommate and Jungkook has been a total ass wipe recently so I’m not so hot about them, if I’m being honest.”  

Said boys shot up in their seats to interject, but Namjoon waved them off.  

“Y/n, please forgive Jungkook for any childish behavior.  He’s had a few temper tantrums ever since we mentioned this idea.  He’s just very clingy with you and has had a lot of trouble accepting this plan.  He probably distanced himself from you in effort to control himself from snatching you up for himself.”  You looked at Jungkook for search of the truth but by the way Kook was blushing and avoiding eye-contact, you knew Namjoon’s words were true.  

“As for Jimin….”  Namjoon continued.  “We’re very sorry about your roommate.  Jimin explained it to us and we can agree that his actions were uncalled for, however no physical altercation occurred.  He was just terrified of never seeing you again and being so emotional, he showed up to your dorm. All his screaming and crying must’ve scared Kat but trust me, Jimin would never put his hands on a woman.”  

You dissected everything Namjoon had said.  Was it possible that Kat was just shaken up?  She did say he mainly did some hollering and crying.  Kat had no evidence of bruising or handprints and technically even in her own story, Jimin didn’t lay his hands on her so much as he just threatened her. She said he was frantic and anxious, and that he forcefully backed her into a corner…..but did Jimin ever lay his hands on her?

Your sweet, bubba, teddy bear who wasn’t that tall and had chubby cheeks along with a squeaky voice?  

“Baby, do I look like the type to attack anyone?”  Jimin asked, puppy eyes all teary.

“I don’t know, you did it with your brother.”  You retorted.

Jimin rolled his eyes.  “That’s different, he’s my brother and brothers fight.”  Jimin pouted at you.

“Fine, just don’t be a meth head next time.”

Jimin grinned at the term ‘next time’ but asked, “Meth head?  I thought I was crackhead?”

He recalled your nickname rather fondly.

You shook your head,  “Sorry, but you’ve upgraded your status.  At the rate your going at, it might even be bath salts next week.”  

And thus, you had 7 sugar daddies.  

{Authors note; oml so what do you think?  this was kinda a filler chapter to transition us to the next stage of the story that’s gonna be 0t7 and like really intense.  I haven’t been answering any asks lately bc I was at a friends house but i’m going to hammer them out now so send in news ones and they'll be done really fast.  ALSO I HOPE YOUR THRIVING GUYS HAPPY NEW YEARS 2K19 LMAO}

#bts #yandere bts #yandere jimin #yandere jungkook #yandere yoongi #yandere namjoon #yandere jin #yandere taehyung #yandere hoseok #park jimin #jeon jungkook #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #hoseok #min yoogi #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts jhope #bts taehyung #bts jin #bts yoongi #suga #yoongi #yandere #kpop #loveatfirstsight #pandemonium

[iainwrites]

A Samhain Brouhaha

Harry Dresden, trick-or-treating with Maggie, Karrin and Mouse.  And a tie to the earliest stories I posted on here.

“Charity, you can trust me.”

“Harry, I know you’re trying to be a good man and do right, but you’re also Harry Dresden and that name doesn’t inspire a lot of trust, especially for what you’re asking for.”

“What I’m... All I’m asking for is that I can take her out for one night.  That’s all.”

“I’ve heard that request before, and we both know what came of it.”

“It was an accident!  How was I to know...”

“Yes, Harry.  How were you to know?  Something like this means you need to know, and to be prepared for whatever might happen.”

“... Mouse will be with us.  Do you trust Mouse?”

“I trust Mouse with her life.  But Mouse is just one dog and...

“Murphy will be there, too.”

“... I suppose I can trust Mouse and Karrin to keep an eye on her.  And you too.”

“Great!  Thanks, Charity.  You won’t regret this.”

       My name is Harry... Well, you know the rest.  Wizard and Warden of the White Council, Knight of Winter, Warden of Demonreach, yadda yadda yadda.  It feels like I have more titles than the Cubs at this point, and they all mean something different to someone.  After a while, it just gets tiring repeating them all, and they seem to lose their importance.

      A few years ago, none of this would have meant much for my personal life.  I lived alone, with nothing else in my life but my work and a few people kept at arm’s length that I could call my friends.  It’s funny how the years can change things.  As the world turned, my life kept getting more and more... complete, I guess.  Filled, maybe.  I found out that there are people who look up to me, then that I had a brother, got a dog, found out I had a daughter, then a sort-of-girlfriend-I-think.  Oh, and I died once, became possibly irreversibly connected to one of the greatest powers in the magical community, might possibly be losing my morality, and am currently the master of a jail that makes Area 51 look like an amusement park.  But those things aren’t as important as the family side.

      All of my history, those titles and that backstory doesn’t mean much tonight.  Everything else is pushed to the side, and tonight I’m wearing only one of those mantles.  Maybe the most valued one.  Tonight, I am Harry Dresden: Dad.  And with that mantle comes a responsibility like no other I have shouldered before.

      “Alright, Maggie.  We’ll go whenever you want to.  Charity made sure I know the list of houses that we can go to, and Mouse-bacca will make sure that anyone who's acting too spooky won’t bother us, okay?”

      “Okay...”

      “What?  You don’t believe in the Great Mouse-bacca?  I mean, he might not look like much, but he’s got it where it counts, right?”

      The walking carpet that is my dog actually manages something that sounds closer to a Chewbacca warble than his usual chuffing sound.  Matched with the belt slung around his middle and a little bit of brown dye, it’s hard to mistake him for anything other than a Wookie.  The rest of us are dressed in a way that makes it impossible to see us as anything but nerds.

      Maggie, with the help of a mother who has spent more years making costumes than anyone else I can begin to think of, is dressed up in a Rey costume, complete with a little lightsaber.  Karrin and I nearly came to blows over what we were going to wear.  I’m... well, ME, so of course I’d be the dashing and roguish Han Solo, right?  And my partner is a giant, furry thing.  It practically writes itself!  Karrin argued that I’m the dork and should be Luke Skywalker, while she’s the cool guy with the gun.  She may have also mentioned something about being able to kick my ass.  And so here she stands in her black vest and over-sized pistol at her side and looking (damn me for saying this) appropriately Han Solo-y.

      I wasn’t content with being Luke, and am not nearly old enough to be rocking the Sir Alec Guinness look, so I settled on something a little more my style.  Thanks to a mop of hair as a result of living out on a deserted island for way too long, a scar across an eye thanks to a past encounter and a penchant for flirting with the dark side of magic, I gussy myself up as an over-sized Anakin, pre-lava bath.  With a little help from Andy, we managed to make up a casing for my blasting rod that looks like the hilt of a lightsaber.  A little focus and the blade lights up with a nice shade of blue, thanks to a little help from Winter.  We couldn’t figure out how to get it to sound right, so I end up making the sounds myself.  All in all, we look like a nice, nerdy family out for some trick-or-treating.  And that’s how it all began: a nice, nerdy sort-of family trick-or-treating together.

      I was worried when we started out that all of the costumes, noise and excitement might be too much for Maggie.  I mean, there’s a lot that usually goes on during Halloween night.  For the normal people, at least.  There’s the noises, the lights, the people running around costumes that go from home-made to movie quality.  And while she starts off close to Mouse, Murphy and me at any particular time, she eventually starts to look the way she should: a little girl out on Halloween, hitting up houses for a sugar fix.  She might not be running around Hell and Creation like some of the other munchkins out there, but there is a smile on her face, and a little bounce in her step.

      Mouse, Murphy and I take turns going up to doors with her, each of us to varying degrees of success.  Mouse always seemed to be a lock for more candy, because whenever she comes back the bag feels a lot heavier.  When she goes up with Murphy, Karrin comes back with a smile on her face, with just a hint of conflict hidden underneath.  A part of me wants to ask; the intelligent part knows to stay quiet.  The detective part of me has suspicions.  When she was married to Rich, there was tension around them having kids and her staying home to take care of them.  Going up to a door with a kid for Halloween and being told that your “daughter” is cute is probably playing around in head each time.

      When I take her up, I get to experience my own brand of head and heartache.  I keep hearing them ooh and ahh over her costume, and how sweet or cute or cool she looks, then there’s the looks up to me.  And I hear them say again how sweet she looks.  And it tears a piece out of my heart each time.  Susan and I should be taking her out for this.  Susan should be here with our daughter.  Our daughter should never have had to go through everything she’s gone through.  She should be living a normal life, spooked of the costumes at Halloween because she has an overactive imagination, not because of what she’s lived through.  And I smile, try not to loom so much, thank them and squeeze my little girl’s hand when we walk back to the street.  I steel myself for the next time that I’ll hear those words, and try to make the most out of this first father/daughter Halloween.

      On my side of the magical divide, Halloween has this recent habit of being more exciting each year.  The wearing down the divide between the living and the dead, necromantic rituals, changing of mantles, and the killing of immortals seem like they’re only the tip of the iceberg these days, and there’s always the little whisper in my ear that there’s going to be more.  Somehow, I manage to trick myself for a fair portion of the night that this one will be different.  That the creepy crawlies from the other side will take the night off and give me a chance to have a well-deserved break.

      Yeah, right.  The author of my life isn’t ever going to be that nice to me.

      The first indication is the sudden jerk of Mouse’s leash.  He’s usually happy to trot along at his own pace, with the leash there to show everyone he’s a well-behaved dog.  It’s not uncommon for him to stop and smell the proverbial roses; but for him to stop because there’s something he wants to stop, that’s enough to get my attention.  The only thing that stands out around us is a small pack of costumed clowns hanging a little ways back.  They all have the shabby zombie costume that seems to keep its firm grip from year to year, combined with some cheap masks.  The clothes portion of the costumes are pretty good, comparatively; they look distressed, like there was some actual damage to them.  I know those kinds of rips and tears intimately.  They even got the blood patterns around the tears right.

      The night gets cold when I realize that some of the rips and the stains look fresh.  And have that quality that costumes either exaggerate or downplay.  I look from the costumes to the people (no, things) wearing them.  They move in sync, coordinated.  My brain goes back to my throw-away description of them and revises is: a little ways back behind us is a small Pack of costumed wolves.

      The Pack.  A holdover from an old fight some Hunters and I should have finished and buried.  They’re a roaming group of monsters who hunt together, and have been the death of innocents and those that have tried to stop them.  The legendary Hunter John Winchester worked with the fledgling Black Cats to kick their asses up around their mouths decades back.  After a misunderstanding, Karrin and I teamed up with his sons, Sam and Dean, to ring the bell on Round 2.  We didn’t finish them off, but I thought we left them with a nose that was so bloody that they’d never want to try hunting together again.  Apparently, the lesson wasn’t definitive enough for them, because here they stand, lesser in number but still a threat to everyone walking this street.

      Karrin must have realized that we’ve been left behind, because she calls back to us.  “You okay, Harry?”

      Mouse clues in that I’m clued in and goes from alert growl to “stay way the hell away” growl.  “Yeah,” I reply.  “Mouse just has to use the little doggy’s tree.  We’ll catch up with you in a little bit.”

      “You sure?  We can wait.”

      My gut starts to get wrenched around.  I want my daughter to be safe, and safe is away from these things.  But if she’s sent away, that means I can’t be there to protect her.

      But Murphy will be there, and short of Michael, she’s the one person I know I can trust to keep my daughter safe.  “We’ll be there in a bit.  I’m going to take Mouse away from the street so nobody has to get caught up in it.  Have you been feeding him table scraps again, Maggie?  Because you’ll have to clean up you’ve been sneaking taco’s to Mouse.”

      My daughter gives off a little giggle and Mouse lets off the subsonic growl long enough to give a happy little chuff.  I pat his head, wave to Karrin and Maggie and start to lead him to an alley, digging out one of the plastic bags we’ve been using for Maggie’s haul.  I see Karrin look from me to Mouse, to the Pack and unlatch her blaster.  Just like I put a case around my blasting rod, she has a plastic shell around her service pistol.  It might not be much, but it’ll sure as hell slow down anything that I let get past me.

      The Pack seem to size up Karrin and Maggie as they leave.  Their gaze stays on them for a very uncomfortable time, before slowing coming back to me.  The message is loud and clear: “We saw them, we’ll remember them and we’ll find them.”  Yeah?  I have my own message.

      “Okay, assholes.  You were dumb enough to sign up for Round 3, so let’s find a nice quiet corner so I can beat on you like I’m Rocky.”

      As they follow me, one makes its way out of the main body, to stand in front of them like a spokesperson.  I can tell even underneath the costume what it is, and a fire starts to burn through my veins.  Human sized, but not human like. Extra-long arms that end in claws.  An unhealthy color that some could pass off as make-up but I recognize as naturally disgusting.  And behind the mask, eyes that are weighing and measuring you up for its plate.  A ghoul.  A ghoul who has seen my daughter.  Ever since the Red Court was dealt with, the whole race of ghouls have been moved up to the top of my “Things That World Will Never Miss” list.  This one just reserved extra special placement.

      I take my hand off of Mouse’s lead as he and I turn in sync to stare at the Pack.  The lead ghoul stops only a few feet away from me.  The alley is barely wide enough for Mouse and I to stand side-by-side, but that also means that they’re limited by how many can come forward at a time.  It’s not my favorite ring to fight in, but there’s been worse.  “Okay.  Say your piece, then let’s get started.”

      “You assume too much, wizard,” the ghoul says to me.  I’m not sure if it’s actually speaking English or if I still understand Ancient Sumerian as a parting gift from Lash.  Whatever the case, it sounds like a snake slithering over broken bottles.  “What stops the hunters at the mouth of the alley from going back out to the street?  You?  The dog?”  Damn it.  “No.  You will hear what we have to say, you and the beast will die, then we will go out and continue our hunt.”

      “Alright, Smiley.  Let’s hear it, then.”

      “You are known, Wizard.  You are remembered.  The Pack knows your scent.  You went to ground, but have decided to appear again.”  There’s a murmur behind the ghoul that could politely described as “agreement”, if agreement was made up of growls and rumbles.  “You may have bested us in the past, but that is when you hunted with others.  The Winchesters.  They are known to us.  They are remembered.  They will be found.”

      For a ghoul, this guy is practically Shakespeare.  This is the most I’ve ever heard from one before and it all comes across as understandable.  “Alright.  So what’s your point here?  Are you just going to keep talking until I go into a coma so you don’t have to strain yourself?”  I keep my attention off of it and on the ones in the back in case they decide to amscray back onto the street like they were threatening to do.  “Because there’s actually stuff that I want to do tonight.  If that means I have to walk through all of you to get there, and this sounds weird coming from me, let’s stop talking and get it done.”

      “No, Wizard.  You do not decide the Hunt.  The Pack hunts its prey, and when it is cornered, their lives are ours.  You, a human, have no say in what happens.  Should we decide to kill you, you will die.  Should we decide to eat your beast, it will be eaten.  If we decide to hunt your mate and your whelp, they are ours for as long as we wish and for what we wish.”

      “You don’t want to do this,” I mutter, while Mouse begins to growl behind me.  The only mercy I can think of is that Karrin is away from us, and that Maggie will be safe with her.  I might even be able to take a few of them with me.  I might be able to protect my daughter from what’s to come.

      The ghoul doesn't break eye contact with me, but I’m willing to be to bet that it knows what’s going on and what’s going to happen.  The cocky bastard doesn’t even seem to care.  “Oh, I think I do, wizard.  I think I will.”  The Pack behind him shifts, the sounds of claws scraping ground, of bones snapping and reforming into monstrous forms.  I get a death grip on the lightsaber case and start to will my power into it.

      Why?  Why does this always have to happen?  I try to take my daughter out for something nice, like a trip to the zoo or out for Halloween, only for things to go sideways on us.  This life, this job, this responsibility... I’m okay with it.  But I want to be a father once in a while.  I want to try and give Maggie a normal life whenever possible, but something seems so damn set in ruining that for us.  There is always something that shows up and ruins things and keeps me from connecting with my own daughter.  Susan should be here.  Our lives shouldn’t be so... wrong.  She should be allowed to grow up with a mother and a father and never have to worry about all of these things.  All of this is happening and I’m just about ready to...

      Something around us changes.  I’m not even aware of it until I hear something shift in Mouse’s voice.  It still carries a sound of warning, but there’s something else.  Anticipation?  Excitement?  A certain reckless happiness that his human sometimes shows?  He’s ready for a fight, but there’s something that’s allowing him to relax, even in the smallest ways.  He’s not worried about the fight.  From what I hear, he might even be looking forward to it.  I do a quick scope around me to see what could flip the switch in him.  Turns out it’s a lot closer than I’d ever expect.

      It’s my blasting-saber.  A firey shade of orange is starting to appear in the core nearest the hilt.

      Its old color.  Something from years ago that has since been covered in Winter ice.

      MY old color.  A color of will, and excitement, and barely controlled power, all of it coming from me.  Not a mantle.  Not a mostly immortal Faerie Queen.  

                                                      Me.

      I bring my eyes back up to the ghoul, and I smile.  It’s not a nice smile, but it’s one with a promise.  “Let me rephrase that.  You’re NOT going to do this.”

      The remnants of the Pack shift, the faces under their costume masks shifting.  Most of them change their posture and flex their hands, getting ready for the fight they’ve been working themselves up for all night.  What they don’t understand is that the moment they looked at my daughter, they didn’t have a chance in Hades.

      “Here’s why you’re not going to do that.  In fact, here’s why after tonight, you’re never going to see each other every again.”  A few give off growling laughs.  “I am Harry Dresden.  I am a wizard and Warden of the White Council.”  “Warden” makes a few of them twitch.  “I am chosen by Mab, Queen of Winter, Air and Darkness to be her Knight.  I wear the mantle of Winter, and I wear it very damn well.”  Mouse has stopped growling by now, as though he doesn’t want to take any attention off of me.  “I am Warden of Demonreach, jailer to nastier bastards than you’ll all ever be.  Combined.”  The blue of my blasting-saber exists only on the outside of the blade; fire is making up the core and it’s becoming a brighter shade of red with my every word.  “I am Bane of the Red Court.  The one who has outplayed and overcome Death.  My ride is one of the greatest predators to ever roam this earth, and I brought it back from millennia of rest. I am Ally to Hunters and Slayers.  I know and will invoke the names Winchester and Summers.  I have been tempted by and refused a coin of the Blackened Denarius.  I have led the Wild Hunt.”  THAT gets their attention like I know it would.

      The air around us suddenly gets warmer.  Almost spring-like, like the nights you sit outside near a fire.  There might be a chill in the air, but there’s also the promise of warmth and comfort.  The snow starts to melt and the grass can be seen again, and there might even be the faint sign of flowers starting to bloom.

      Life and warmth after a snow that never seemed like it would leave.

      The various creatures in front of me start to look around, probably trying to figure out what all this means.  The quicker ones figure it out and look at me, the hostility they had been showing before beginning to melt away, revealing something almost like fear.  But right now?  Fear is not enough.  Fear can be conquered or forgotten.  They need to feel something much more permanent.

      “I am Harry Dresden.  This is MY city.  And this is MY night.  I claim it by birth and by my strength.”  The tension that’s been building in this little alleyway just... pops around me.  If there’s a pressure, I don’t feel it anymore.

      “You have threatened my daughter, and I will protect her.  Ask the Red Court what that promise means.”  I let those words hang in the air, full of meaning and threats.  “This is my city, and I will protect it.  Ask anyone how far I’ve gone to keep it safe, and what happens to the people that threaten it.”  I let my blasting-saber dip until it nearly touches the pavement, which starts to send up wisps of smoke.  “The people who live here are my people, and I.  Will.  Protect.  Them.  Ask the Heirs of Kemmler and the Black Court what that oath means.”

      I don’t make any of this a challenge, or a brag, or something to piss them off.  These are all things that simply are.  They’re all true, like that the sun rises or that water is wet.  You can argue and try to ignore it all you want, but these things are, have been and always will be.  I am who I am, and I do what I do, no matter the mantle I wear, or what tries to change me.

      “So here’s what you’re going to do.  Tonight, I curse the name ‘Pack.’”  There’s another subtle pop in the air as those words gain meaning and permanence.  Words have power, and I invest a portion of my own self into those words.  “All those who live under it do so under pain of... Well, death is too nice.  Non-existence.  Erasure from history.  I will call in every favor, from the crater of Sunnydale to the Isle of Manhattan and every road of that cuts across this country.  You will cease to exist.  You will never be spoken of and you will never be remembered.  And you will all die bloody.”  I draw my gaze from one face to another, never letting off until they look away first.  They wouldn’t need to Soul Gaze me to know what is on my mind; it’s pretty damn apparent to any of them with half a clue.  “You will never run together again.  You will not do it under the name Pack, or any other name.  Because if I hear so much as a rumor that a group of creatures attacked an innocent person, you’re done.  You will be found, then you will be gone.  This right here is your only warning.  Any questions?”

      “And you,” I say to the ghoul.  I start walking forward, the cape billowing behind me, my blasting-saber burning a line in the ground.  I get right up to its face, and lean down towards its ear.  “I really, really hate fucking ghouls,” I whisper.  “And I know how hard your kind is to kill.  I have experience with that.  But you want to know something?”  

      I whip the blasting-saber down and take its hand off at the wrist.  We both look down at it in surprise.  I was expecting some burning, maybe a little cut, but not full blown lightsaber action.  I doubt it was expecting anything at all.  We both bring our eyes back up and I stare it down one more time.  “I have one more title for you: I was the Fire of Camp Kaboom. There was a message that was sent back with a survivor.  I told it ‘Never Again.’”  And I bring the blade flashing up in an arc and sear through its head with barely any resistance.  The head drops with a stunned look on its face as the body falls back into the hastily made space its friends make.

      “Never again.  Never again in my presence, in my city or to my people.”  I bring my gaze to each of them once again, but this time, nobody is too excited to look me in the eye.  “Do I need to repeat that to any of you?”  None of them reply. I snake out the blasting-saber again and take a chunk out of a rawhead and take out what looks to be a rugaru at the waist. That’s the sign they needed to break away and run, but not before I take a couple of slashes at their retreating asses.  I manage to down some; Mouse manages to run down another before it makes it to the mouth of the alley.  The ones I see escape split up.  When I step back onto the street, they’re long gone.

      Mouse and I take some time getting rid of the bodies, thanks to some creative uses of Ways and a few convenient garbage cans. The ghoul got some extra-special treatment, just like I promised.  I only realized how much time had actually passed when we finally caught up to Murphy and Maggie.  They’re less than a block away from the Carpenter’s home, with Karrin carrying an impressive haul of sugar filled goodness.  Even with all the best intentions, I still missed my first night of trick-or-treating with my daughter.  I try not to let my disappointment show as I lope up to them and ruffle Maggie’s hair.

      “Ha... Dad?  Are you okay?”

      “Yeah, I’m okay.  Just had to help Mouse clean up a mess.”

      “Your lightsaber is red.  Um... Isn’t red the color bad guys use in Star Wars?”

      “A lot of them do.  But remember the end of Return of the Jedi?”

      “We never finished it.  The Emperor... I don’t like what he says to Luke.”

      “He’s a pretty scary guy, and his threats are pretty serious.  But when he threatens Luke, Vader decides that his son is more important than his master.  He decides to fight against the Dark Side.”

      “So... Vader... becomes a good guy?”

      “It’s... complicated.  He did bad things, but family helped him so he could try to be good again.  He decided what to do, and that he didn’t want to follow the Emperor’s orders anymore.”

      “So, you’re like Darth Vader.”

      “... Yeah.  And the people I care about are helping me come back to the Light Side of the Force.  There’s going to be... bad things in my past, and there are going to be people who tell me what I have to be, but I decide whether that’s who I am.”

      “That’s... you’re kind of a cool guy.”

“Cooler than Han Solo?”

      “Well Mouse is cooler than Chewbacca, and he’s your partner.  So I guess that means you’re cooler than Han.”

I admit, it kills some of the cool vibes, but I squeeze Karrin on the shoulder and as she looks up at me, I stick out my tongue like I’m a kid.  I get an elbow in my hip in return, but it’s worth it.   I’ve never gone out trick-or-treating before tonight, so my expectations were pretty low.  But this was actually pretty fun.  And my daughter thinks I’m a cool dad.  Yeah.  That’s never going to go to my head.

      “Hey, Dad?”

      “Yeah, kiddo?”

      “Do you want to stay after we get back and watch Return of the Jedi?  If you’re there, I think I can make it past the Emperor this time.”

      “I’d love to, Maggie.”

      Murphy gives my hand a tug, and gives a nod of her head to let me know she wants to whisper something to me.  

      “I don’t know everything that happened, but you were pretty amazing tonight, Dresden.  And it’s your birthday.  There’s a Slave Leia costume I think we should break in later.”

      I love Halloween.

      “But you’re wearing it.”

      … Happy birthday to me.

#Iain writes #Dresden Files

[dealingdreams]

Okay TROS thoughts...here we go. I’m putting them all below the cut in case somehow you’ve avoided spoilers

so general thoughts...i didnt hate it nearly as much as i thought i would so thats pleasant but im gonna break it down more

things i liked:

Adam Driver.  just Adam. Fucking. Driver my dudes. This is like a backhanded compliment because JJ is so fucking lucky Adam was cast because the emotional depth of the film rested literally all on his shoulders for me. I only felt the weight if he was acting in a scene. 

I’ll admit im biased but I did adore the interaction between Finn and Poe. Their bickering amused me and the tenderness between them was wonderful...I think Oscar played Poe a bit jealous as well which i liked.

the Reylo scenes to me where beautiful. Ben never lied to her, she tried to deny it but she knew he never did. I loved that he was kinda guiding her, protecting her, loving her, and antagonizing her all at once. I loved how soft their kiss was, their smiles are literally the light of my life. Rey’s face when she healed him. Ben just staring at her as she tells him she did want to take his hand...just chef’s kiss

I loved the saber fights. Ben’s fight at the beginning was hot as fuck...and his fight as newly redeemed Ben Solo was even hotter somehow.

 I enjoyed the fight scenes between ben and rey! how often ben just let her walk away, and despite that one scene which i will mention below...i like i even tho rey was rather aggressive idk...it didnt really feel like she was trying to hurt him much either? i just think they had a lot of chances to kill each other and didnt take it...so i like that

i knew she was looking at ben in that clip i knew it...she only makes that soft face at him

I always enjoy stupid ass C3PO jokes for some dumbass reason

Han and Ben’s scene was heartbreaking and beautiful. Again tho JJ is fucking lucky to cast Adam cause recycling dialogue from TFA wouldnt have worked at all had Adam not been so fucking amazing

the save chewie hall blaster scene was fun 

i liked how fucking dramatic children ben and rey were with that damn ship lol...no im gonna force pull it...no im gonna...what dorks

while i didnt like the entire way the force bond was used i did enjoy seeing it still strong and growing

confirming canon soulmate reylo was a highlight

ben’s hair looked bomb

finn’s outfit was cool

Jannah was beautiful (please correct me if i misspell her name)

dark rey was glorious tho 

that new little droid is literally me so i adore it

that sith cave thing was really fucking cool looking 

the visuals of the film were most of the time stunning 

sooooo...now to what i didn’t like:

I think this first one is the most obvious for those who know me but...Ben’s death just feels so utterly useless to me. especially when they gave him a metaphorical death earlier in the film. i feel extremely hurt and betrayed. Disney has gone out of their way to make us sympathize with Ben Solo. They’ve revealed more and more of his past...how alone he was, the abuse he suffered from snoke and palpatine. just fuck...they just kill him...the moment he realizes he’s free and loved they end his life....literally WHAT THE FUCK. it’s a chicken shit way out of a redemption arc honestly. Not letting u just breath after his death was also so horrible. We barely got to see Rey mourn, we got a split second of it then it jumped to another scene...another second of her looking sadly at her sabor to have the moment interrupted 

tag on to above but...they didnt have him as a force ghost cause Disney is intentionally keeping where he is ambiguous so they can sell more shit which pisses me off so much

thats not how the force works

there couldnt have been that many sith could there??? cause like there can only be 2 at one time....fucking rule of 2 so how the hell were there that many

palps being like...see i actually want you to kill me...is ridiculous

rey palpatine is the most idiotic thing i have ever heard. Rey being a no one from no where was such an amazing thing. Just anyone can be strong in the force...you dont need royal blood to make you worth something....then they just retcon that??? the fuck I MEAN THE FUCK. 

Finn does nothing but worry about Rey the whole film. I know folks dont like his storyline in TLJ and while i understand that and do think it could have been written better i still adore it because Finn grew. He grew from just caring about a small group of people to caring about an idea to caring about something bigger than him. I didnt see any growth in his character in this film. His heroics were beautiful to see and I enjoyed seeing his heart but that was John’s acting more than the writing it think. 

sidelining rose was fucking disgusting 

the trio felt forced to me

the leia scenes didnt work for me honestly and they mostly just made me sad

bringing in lando now felt weird 

ive wanted force sensitive finn for a while but didnt feel right

why the fuck have finn want to tell rey something but never do...ugh i hate storytelling like that

they never explained how palps is back...he just is

rey stabbing ben felt odd to me. i loved the moment when she healed him, and i know technically her anger and darkside was coming out and she acted on instinct...nevermind that even before leia called out to him ben coudnt follow thru with the killing blow. 

....i’m sure i’ll think of more as i get angrier 

anyways over all...id be lying if moments didnt make me laugh or smile...if i didn’t feel a sense of nostalgia and enjoyment for 80% of this movie. The thing is that even with so much of it being enjoyable to me it still felt void. An action movie, with new characters, a confusing plot and very minimal emotional depth.

The emotion hinged soooo much on Adam or me. The biggest reason for that aside from that fact that Ben Solo is one of my all time favorite characters, is that the things Rey is dealing with in the film are directly related to her being a palpatine...and i HATE THAT. Like straight up wanna fling it into the sun. 

Rey never needed to be related to a force royal bloodline. She should have been allowed to remain strong because she was just strong. Kylo’s equal in every way, not because she was the granddaughter of a sith which btw you can’t inherit force powers. Retconing something so touching and unique from TLJ was just...fucking idiotic. All to please the loud but small misogynistic fandom that thought a woman couldnt be that strong on her own so she must be related to someone

The biggest thing....tho is killing Ben. it felt so unnecessary and just...i feel so betrayed. The interviews leading up to the film got my hopes up that i was worried for nothing. I always thought they’d kill him, because cinema seems to not know what to do with characters has tragic as him without just killing him in the end. we already got a redemption = death plotline in this franchise...why couldnt we get a redemption = life instead??? My friend who doesnt even like sw that much...tros was actually the 2nd sw fim she’s ever seen...thought it was unnecessary as well and agrees with me a lot about my feelings despite not having the same intense emotional attachment to him as me. She for a moment thought they’d be together at the end but nope. Its just...pointless to me now, the sacrifices han, luke, and leia made to reach Ben are for nothing. Their deaths...pointless...Ben means so fucking much to me. I’ve never felt such an intense emotional bond with a character before so im just hurting so fucking much right now.

Rey taking the name Skywalker isnt hopeful or cute its a slap in the face honestly...and it’s just weird! 

The last Skywalker died loved and held by the woman he loved and that is beautiful to me. He died happy and a hero thats a balm at least...but to not let him be the one to kill palpatine...after everything EVERYTHING he put him and his family thru was another just fuck...i wanted justice for him and he just got thrown away

Ultimately...Ben and Rey are soulmates and their force bond was severed. Palpatine didnt take that from them because he couldnt have...again not how the force works....but JJ used that bond to be a battery???? the fuck...but ultimately hes forcing Rey to live the rest of her days with a gaping wound in her soul. a wound unable to be filled and will be with her for the rest of her life...thats so fucking tragic to me. you give rey someone who is her equal, who understands her, and you take him from her and force her to be alone for the rest of her life?? and we are supposed to not see that as a tragedy? Her being fineishness at the end of the film seemed like direction from either the writing or in the moment, but just further proves he didnt bother to even understand the lore he was using. Force bonds were considered i quess legends in the current SW canon but Rian brought it back...so it’s back. and well

  "A bond between two living beings is not something easily broken. It is not a choice… it is like breaking a feeling. Like turning away from the Force. To break a bond, your feelings would have to change, or one of you would have to die—but even then, the bond wouldn't go away, it would simply… it would simply be empty, a wound."―Master Zez-Kai Ell[src]

and .... the only way to break it was to turn away from the Force, as Surik did on Malachor V. So basically it all came down to creating a wound in the Force”

sooo yeah...im pissed i’d give this movie a 1 1/2 out of 5 

thank you for those who have read my rantings! I hope at least some of this made sense

#tros spoilers #ben solo #kylo ren #reylo #musing

[scullyy]

Two Sides Of The Same Street /Chapter Three

Title: Two Sides of the Same Street   Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 1645

Summary: Louis and Clem have some fun in this cold weather.

A/N: This is probably the fluffiest piece I’ve written so far, enjoy :)

-

Clementine took another sip of her peppermint tea, basking in the warmth it provided. “Does it usually get this cold during winter?” The snow fell gracefully from the dark sky, blanketing the town in a white sheet.

“Unfortunately yeah. But it makes for some killer snowball fights,” Louis munched down onto his croissant. Goddamn Omar never failed to amaze him. “Marlon and I get really into it, I stand as the champion.”

“You do have other friends, right?” She questioned. Louis only ever talked about his wacky adventures with Marlon, the boy seemed almost as mad as Lou. Probably why they were so close.

Louis scoffed. “Of course, everyone loves me. Omar is my friend too, right dude?”

Omar turned from a happy customer and his gentle smile shifted to a glare, directed specifically at Louis. “Run while you still can.” He whispered to Clem.

Clementine hid her snicker behind her large mug as Louis threw one of Clem’s chips at Omid’s back. “He secretly loves me.”

“Right,” Her tone gave away her lack of belief and her annoyance at missing a chip. “Anyways, who’s turn was it?”

“I believe it was mine. What is the last song you listened to?”

Their bus ride game had somehow made it’s way to their lunch break, the third lunch break they had shared together that week. Surprisingly, Clementine found it to be fun. “Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey. I was listening to it on the ride to work this morning.”

Louis tipped his cup of lemonade to her. “Good choice, so your car got fixed then?” Another piece of croissant flew into his mouth, it was addicting!

Clementine giggled at how Louis ate his food. Why was it so cute? “Yes finally. No offence to the bus. So, What is your worst customer story?”

It was a juicy question. Louis’s ears perked up as a devilish smile grew. “I have the best one. I had only been working at the shop for a couple of months when this family of three walks in one day. As the parents are checking stuff out their kid goes batshit crazy, he’s running around, touching everything, trying to take stuff off the walls and his parents aren’t doing anything! I tell him to stop multiple times but he won’t listen, so I got both of my keen eyes on this little dude until the old manager calls me into the back so I can unbox some CDs we ordered. As I’m back there, we hear this fucking banshee-like scream, turns out this kid had climbed the top of one of our drum sets, jumped off and landed on his spine on our spare snare drum stand we have sitting nearby.”

Clementine’s jaw was hanging wide open like a fish.

“It gets worse. The mom marches up to me and starts going off at me, saying that I should have been watching her child. She starts talking to the manager about how incompetent I am meanwhile I’m standing there like an idiot. But my manager says to her how it’s not my job to watch her child and how she should have told him to be more careful. Eventually, the family stormed out. Sometimes I wish the shop was idiot-proof.”

“Oh my god,” She threw a hand over her mouth, trying to repress the laughter. “That sucks.”

Louis brushed it off. “It was, but it’s funny to think about now,” His water helped to clear the scratch at the back of his throat. “I wanna hear your story now. Any customers you wanted to beat over the head?”

“Mine isn’t as exciting. It was a few days ago, this guy comes in wanting to return this antique Royal Doulton vase but it was way past the return date. He starts screaming but then he takes the vase and tries to throw it at Lee! Luckily he dodged it and threw the guy out.”

Now it was Louis’s turn to look shocked. “Fuck...did you use your overly expensive spoons to attack him?”

“They are not expensive!” She took a piece of his croissant and threw it at his nose, time for him to lose his own food. “Dork.”

Louis dramatically placed a hand over his heart, squeezing his dark blue shirt. “Dork? That is a declaration of love if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Since when?”

He shrugged. “Y’know, it goes alongside things like ‘less than three’ and ‘Rawr XD. That’s just how life works, so you love me.” Louis wiggled his fine eyebrows.

Clementine rolled her eyes at his gesture. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“That’s all I do,” He pushed his plate to the side and dusted off his hands of crumbs. “We still have fifteen minutes left of our break, anything else you wanted to do?”

Clementine wiped her mouth clean. “Maybe we can just go for a walk in the snow?”

That’s so fucking romantic. Louis, you marry this girl right now-

“Sounds like fun!” Louis waved at one of the waiters, getting him to come to their table. “Give my compliments to Chef Omar, tell him he has a lovely smile. Thank you!” He left the man a tip before waving at Omar. Begrudgingly, he waved back. Louis somehow manages to make his day better.

Clementine picked up a palm full of snow and threw it into the air, twirling as it fell around her. “Despite how cold it gets, I do enjoy the snow.” She looked like a winter fairy with those adorable earmuffs on.

Louis smirked as he picked up a handful of snow. “Oh really?” He hummed, his batting arm pegged the snowball at the back of her head, exploding all over her hair. Louis erupted in laughter as Clementine froze, the snow was making its cold descent down her back.

She slowly turned around, shooting daggers at Louis. “You asshole.” She quickly scooped up her own snowball and planted it right in his face, snickering at how his nose scrunched. Those baseball lessons really paid off.

He wiped the excess snow from his eyes. “This means war.” Clementine ran down the pavement as Louis chased her with handfuls of snow, their laughter filling the ears of those who were forced to dodge them.

He made an attempt to throw a snowball at her back but missed when she ran around a corner. “Just hold still!” He called out to her.

“We’re enemies now! I will never surrender!” Clementine crafted an extra large snowball just for him. She turned on her heels in one swift movement and ran back at him, slamming the ball atop his head. Amongst the collision, Clem had lost her footing and tumbled down alongside Louis.

Except she didn’t land on the snow.

The warm presence beneath her was comforting, she couldn’t help but melt into it.

“Clem?” Clementine raised her head and pushed away some loose curls from her eyes. Below her own head was Louis, at very close proximity. “I love your eyes.” He stated.

The heat radiating from her cheeks could melt the snow. “What?”

It was the first moment he could truly appreciate them. There were brown specks in them, a pool of honey and Earth. “It’s just, your eyes are the colour of gold people spend lifetimes trying to find.” He whispered only for her.

Clementine found herself brushing the snow away from his freckled cheek, they looked like beautiful constellations. She gently grabbed ahold of the collar on his thick coat and closed the gap between them.

And suddenly everything made sense.

Her heart opened like a butterfly taking flight, the fact he was kissing her had her mind reeling. An explosion went off in Louis’s own heart when he saw Clementine’s flushed cheeks as she pulled away. It was official, he had died and gone to heaven.

“You’re..uh..really pretty.” He stuttered like the smooth criminal he is.

She giggled. “You’re pretty too. Sorry if I took you by surprise, I just-”

“-no it’s great! I’m glad you did that. I’ve always wanted to kiss a cute girl whilst freezing my ass off in the snow in the middle of a busy street.” He teased.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “How specific.” Clementine moved away and got back to her feet, her legs almost becoming jelly. Louis followed her and dusted the snow off his coat.

“What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic,” His eyes lingered on her hands, her light purple gloves made him smile for some reason. Cuteness perhaps? Everything about her was cute.”Is it okay if I hold your hand?”

Clementine snaked her fingers amongst his own. “I like you a lot Lou.”

“As do I Clemster,” He brought her hand up and kissed her fuzzy gloves. “And if we don’t leave now we’ll be super later for work.”

“Oh shit.”

She and Louis ran like the wind down the crowded street, swerving between the judging stares of the people beside them. Clementine let go of his hand as she made her way across the street, desperate to get out of the growing winds. “I’ll catch you later Clem!” He called out, his hand waving through the air furiously.

“Run you clever boy!”

Louis stopped dead in his tracks, his shoes skidding along the snow. His head whipped up in time to catch her suave wink. With a smile that radiated good energy, he headed back into the store, punching the air once he knew he was safe from prying eyes. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t so safe.

Marlon chucked the damp towel into the bucket. “Why do you look so...crazy?”

Louis shrugged his coat off and chucked it over the counter, sending fragments of snow flying onto the floor. “I got to know a pretty face and electric soul.”

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