#anyways hope this was weird enough. I always think I’m quite boring but some of these are actually a little odd huh?

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Hyperspecific Poll Time Except It’s Really just an Excuse to Post Increasingly Esoteric Things about Myself

#yes stormbringer fans I am not kidding about the graphite scar thing. do you know how wild that was to read. #I was also 7 incidentally. #anyways hope this was weird enough. I always think I’m quite boring but some of these are actually a little odd huh? #my polls #storyrambles #this is all the info I will probably share on myself. consider this my tumblr biography. goodbye lol

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— Chapter XXXIII

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: because I’ve been asked about it quite frequently, it’s safe to say that… mentions of adultery, a bit of fluff while at it, some sad bits as well and a shocking revelation.

A/N: The storm might've tried to stop me... AND IT BRIEFLY DID, but I'm back at it again. :) Nothing much to say, except that I'm happy to be back hehe. Thank you for waiting for me 🥺❤️

Now, without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 34

Ao3 link.

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“Dear Hinata—

I hope this letter finds you well.

I’m still not used to writing that, the dear Hinata thing. It reminds me of those really old letters, like those from the Victorian Era or the war, when people used to be very polite and stuff, super formal, even with their own friends and family! I don’t know how to describe it… it was just weird. I hope you get what I mean.

But yeah, reading back through my letters after I'm done writing them always makes me laugh because I think I’m being melodramatic.

In my excuse, it’s all because of those etiquette classes we were forced to take since we learned how to walk. Ugh, and only because of our roles in the clan! Which I don’t mind! Really… but sometimes the elders tend to be very weird about it, and it makes me feel like they don’t deserve to be treated respectfully at all! And I know that you, more than anyone else, would understand perfectly.

Ah, well, I’m not writing to you to complain about my experiences, I’m doing this because… there’s no other way to put it: I miss you.

It’s been a while since I heard anything from you, or anything at all. And I’m not writing either to complain about that! I don’t want you to feel guilty for not responding because I know you've been very busy with work. 

Last thing I knew about the crisis was that it was getting worse. It was already bad on my last mission, so I can only imagine how it is now.

Either way, even when I understand why you can’t respond, it’s still… painful to not hear anything from you. I wish I could at least get one letter from you, a call, even a smoke signal for god’s sake, I don’t care, anything to let me know how you, Ren, dad, and everyone else is doing.

I hope Satoru isn’t bothering you too much, Sumire as well. I am well aware how annoying they can be on their own, so I feel even worse knowing that I can’t help you ease the burden of their antics ^^; hang on, Hinata!!

As for me, life here has been… ok, I guess. The life of a married woman is surprisingly boring and overwhelming at the same time, but I think it’s mainly because there���s so many new things I now have to take care of that I ever thought of before! Mom and dad sure made it seem so fun… or maybe it’s just them.

Anyways, now that I’ve experienced a bit of the “married life” I’m now confident enough to tell you that you did the right thing when not marrying Satoru. 

Being a wife is boring, you’re expected to keep most of your time inside the house, tending to it and its inhabitants… So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it to you. Although I think Satoru could’ve managed to also make it irritating. 

But yeah, being a sorcerer is much more exciting, totally. I wish I could’ve done a few more missions before retiring.

That kind of makes my life sound terrible, right? Like I’m locked or something. Please, don’t worry. I’m ok, busy, but ok. Just missing you, and Ren. 

I hope dad is ok too. He worries me the most. I hope he hasn’t taken up on drinking again. You know how bad he gets when he does… so please, take care of him if possible.

From there, I don’t really have anything new to say. My ladies, Mariya, Haruko and Hitomi, have been quite calm nowadays, and that’s a bit eerie if you ask me! I hope you can meet them one day. 

Or Mai and Maki, I think you’d find them adorably funny too! And mischievous, mostly that. They kind of remind me of us when we were younger. Oh, but they’re definitely way nicer, we used to be our parent’s nightmare, remember?

All in due time, I suppose.

Well… I guess the main point of this letter is to tell you that I miss you, very, very much. That I hope you’re ok and… don’t worry about me. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll be here, waiting for the day I can see you again.

Take care, and give everyone a big hug from my part.

Yours truly, Y/N.

P.S. Please Stop Satoru from getting the idea that just because I’m not there, my things are his. They’re not. And please, please, please don’t let him delete my save files. I do intend on playing them again when possible”

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And that’s how much of your discreet, seemingly harmless letters seem to go—an activity that took most of your attention when you weren’t the Lady of the House or Mai and Maki’s older sister.

One that would quickly become your go-to method when trying to ease the pain in your heart, even if Hinata has yet to write back, thanks to the catharsis it provided.

You’ve long lost count of how many letters you’ve written to her at this point. It’s in the double digits without a doubt, but not all of them have been sent. Because… not all of them were intended to be read.

And since they’re not meant to be seen… you don’t limit yourself when writing your thoughts down—whether they were good, or bad,  none of that mattered once the ink fell into the paper.

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“Dear Hinata—

I wish you could meet him, but who knows when that will happen, so for now, I’ll tell you about him.

Naoaki is the best guy I have ever met in my life. I swear.

He’s sweet and caring, sometimes a bit blunt and a little bit weird too (in a good way!), but that doesn’t undermine what a great person he truly is. 

Just to give you an example, I once told him that I liked mochi, and since then, he gets some for  me whenever he can! I’ve had so much mochi in such a short time… maybe for a lifetime because of him. Although it’s not all bad, I got to taste all kinds of flavors I didn’t even know existed! Still, taro remains the best. 

Although I have to admit that I feel kind of bad whenever he brings me stuff, because it’s like I’m forcing him to do that, you know? Even though he already told me that it’s nothing to worry about and that he actually likes doing it… Can you believe he’s even told me he likes doing that… because he likes thinking about me? The mere thought of it makes me blush!

I’ve had these kinds of things happen to me before, but never… like this. It’s different, special… and yet, I’m afraid of acknowledging these feelings. Why?

Well, moving on… You must be wondering what he looks like. All I can say is that he’s very cute—or more like cool! Like a bad boy kind of thing (∩˃o˂∩) 

Oooh, I hope Naoaki never gets to read this letter, because if he does, I think I’ll die!!

But yeah, no amount of words could ever compare to meeting him in person. I’m sure once you meet him you’ll like him too… not too much, I hope (  •̀ - •́  ) Just kidding!

I hope Ren likes him too, since he can be quite… protective sometimes. You know what? Nevermind, the two of you can be like that, dad too!—guess that’s the one thing I don’t miss about you three—now I’m hesitant if I want any of you to meet him, you’ll probably scare him while at it! 

Well, I’m sure neither will feel that way with him. He really, really is… special.

I long for the day I’ll be able to see you all again. Take care.

Yours truly, Y/N.”

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“Dear Hinata—

I hope you’re ok with the fact that I’m no longer the youngest sister, because our family has grown thanks to the addition of the adorable twins Mai and Maki!

Mai is very sweet and soft spoken, rarely gets herself into trouble… or so that’s what she wants you to believe, because when you least expect it, she’s a mischievous little demon! I’ve already lost count of the times I’ve been spooked by her, and I’m 100% sure she’d give Satoru a run for his money—imagine all the things we could’ve planned together to get back at him? With guidance from us, the masters, Mai can be an excellent addition to our cause, and an unstoppable force ᕙ(  •̀ ᗜ •́  )ᕗ !!

But if you think that Mai is unstoppable, Maki is on a whole different level! She’s a bit rougher than her, although I think assertive is the right word for this situation… But don’t be fooled, for deep inside, she’s very sweet too. She’s caring and very protective of Mai and her mother, and isn’t afraid of speaking her mind. She kind of reminds me of you, and I think you two would definitely get along well. Also, I think I finally found your competition in her! Whenever we play she seems to never run out of energy, she’s also very strong, and sharp… is that even possible for a little girl like her? Maybe, you exist after all (￢‿￢ )

I wonder what Ren and dad would think of them—I know my mom would’ve loved them.

Yours truly, Y/N.”

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“Dear Hinata—

Have you ever seen something you weren’t supposed to? I promised not to tell anyone, but the embarrassment is killing me! So I need to tell someone, and that someone is you.

I saw… one of my ladies… with her boyfriend… doing… that. Kind of. Yeah. I don’t need to say more than that. And please don’t ask me to go into detail. 

Obviously it wasn’t on purpose!! It was all an accident, but even if everything’s fine now, I still can’t get the image out of my head!!!

It was like… I don’t know, like when you hear that one of your teachers is pregnant. Like, sure, one can suppose those things happen in their personal life… but you don’t want to be told about them, you know?? Ugh!! The mental image!! Ewwww!!!

But ah, it certainly feels good to finally tell someone. I’ve been holding onto this secret for the longest because the rest of my staff doesn’t know, and can’t know because of some stupid details on their contract, but who am I to judge? Nonetheless, it was killing me!! But now you know too.

Now it’s only you, her, and me that knows this. So if this somehow leaks to the rest… I’ll know it was you! (◕‿◕)

Well, I can’t wait to see you again. Give Ren, dad, Sumire, and Satoru (optional) a big hug from me.

Yours truly, Y/N”

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“Dear Hinata—

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

Yours truly, Y/N”

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“Dear Hinata—

…Does Kento ever wonder about me? Because I do. There’s moments where I can’t stop thinking about him, wondering if he knows where I am, what I’m doing now—or if he thinks I’ve abandoned him. 

I hope not…

Well, I’m sure you and Ren already managed that, so I guess there’s really nothing to worry about. Or perhaps he already found out what happened to me by himself. You know how Kento is, always the one to seek out the truth when something’s aggravating him…

Still, I wish I was the one who told him that personally. If only I had the time to do that… then maybe I wouldn’t feel like this. 

Do you think he ever foresaw me getting married? Maybe because of our clan, but… I, for once, did not think it would happen, not like this anyways.

And there’s so many things that I missed from him too—like how he’s doing at his job, if he’s already moved to where he told me he was going… or maybe even a promotion! 

I can’t believe I’m missing out on my friend’s life… and even if nothing has occurred, I still would’ve liked to be there. Take him out to eat to celebrate… or be the shoulder he can lament on.

…

I hope he'll be able to forgive me for not being there, and that I’ll also be able to make it up to him in due time.

Please let him know I’m ok, and that I miss him very, very much.

Yours truly, Y/N”

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“Dear Hinata—

I can’t hide it anymore. I feel like I'm suffocating whenever I have to swallow my feelings and act as if nothing is happening, when the truth is completely different.

I need to get them out, get all of my pain out, less I want to be consumed by it.

My life at the Zen’in estate has been nothing but a nightmare—no, more than that. Nightmares at least end when you wake up. But I haven’t been able to do that. Whether I’m awake, or asleep, this is never ending, every day, getting worse as each day passes.

I can only assume this is hell. 

The things I’ve been forced to go through just because of their depravity are ones I don’t think myself capable of writing down. The mere thought of them nauseates me, makes me want to run, as fast as I can and scream, to let everyone know what I have suffered… but I can’t, and I won’t, because I know no one will hear me.

Naoya has defiled my body, broken my spirit, humiliated me in all kinds of unimaginable ways, taken pride in it, and done it all over again.

But what hurts me the most isn’t what he did, but rather… how I allowed it.

There are days I can’t even stand the sight of myself in the mirror because all that I see is a weak woman that allowed herself to be soiled.

I lived through a lifetime of training, and yet, I couldn’t even stop him from hurting me.

Our family was right when saying that I wasn’t suited to be a sorcerer. Because how could I expect to protect others if I can’t even protect myself?

I’m weak. I’m a disappointment to you, to our family, to the community, and to myself.

Yet… you still wish to save me. You’re working so hard to get me out of here, as if I were worthy of your effort, while I’m unable to do the simplest of things…

I’m ashamed of all the things I’ve put you through. I wish to relieve you of all of this.

If only I could… die, stop being a burden to all of those that care for me, and just disappear… I know everyone would be much better.

I’m sorry”

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So on and so forth.

There’s no particular order behind these letters nor a general meaning to them—outside of being nothing more than a way to vent out the emotions you’re hesitant of disclosing to others, eventually sealing them in their respective envelope, and securely stashing them away from your staff and Naoaki, never to see the light of day.

There were days where your prolificness would show up after particular occurrences, making you fear for their privacy for you didn’t wish to appear… obvious that you were doing something outside the usual before your staff, especially from Mariya since nothing seems to escape her keen eye.

But if she has noticed such a thing, she’s yet to let you know. Well, you guess you could rest easily knowing she would never tell your secret to anyone else, and she’d never confront you directly about it either… but living with that uncertainty might come to torment you from time to time.

Ah, it’s probably all in your head either way. You’re more careful nowadays.

Nonetheless, you appreciate her prudence towards your sensitive matters… and the fact that you were able to find a good friend in this never-ending nightmare that is the Zen’in estate.

Three friends, to be precise: Haruko, Hitomi, and Mariya—they are the definition of loyal, understanding, and empathetic. Even after all that occurred… the horrible things you did to them… they still stood by your side, unwavering.

If there was only a way to repay all they’ve done for you… you’d take it without hesitation.

Or at least a better way from what you already tried. The sweets you got during your last outing were an attempt at that, but that’s only the least you could do and certainly not comparable…

So even after giving them what you labeled a token of your appreciation, you kept wondering day after day, just what else was in your power to show how truly grateful you were towards them…?

“What’s got your cute little head all worked up?”

“Hmm?” you blink, pulled away from the deep realm of your thoughts, back to the present and to the young man alongside you, Naoaki, alongside the wide variety of snacks your staff had prepared for your first break after a long day of overlooking your customary responsibilities. Just like everyday. 

His focused yet inquisitive golden eyes intently stare at you, and this prompts you to shake off whatever remained of your thoughts away, and finally conduct all of your undivided attention to him.

“Oh, nothing, I was just… thinking.” you say, what happens to be somewhat of a truth.

“I can see that” he says, inching a bit closer to your side before reaching over for a grape and offering it to you. It’s been a while since you snacked on something, too deep into your mind to have noticed. He was getting a bit worried, so that’s why he called for you. “That’s a dangerous thing to do, you know”

You give him a small smile before chuckling, cheeks slightly warming up by the action as you take the fruit from his hand. Fingers slightly grazing each other, but you don’t think much of it.

“What? Afraid that I might be plotting something dangerous?”

“Maybe” he smirks, and then shrugs.  “Gotta know if I have to prepare for the worst”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you tease back, then place the grape into your mouth. “I like to keep some mystery when plotting my evil schemes”

“You? Evil?” He ribbed. “Impossible”

“Huh? Why are you doubting me? I can be if I put my mind to it.” you sassed back.

“No, not a cutie like you—You and your mochi cheeks can be anything but evil” Naoaki smirks, raising his hand to carefully pinch your right cheek, and then, you’re overtaken by a combination of embarrassment and shock.

Frozen by his words, you’re unable to do anything else but try to back away from his hand, looking away being the quickest solution, before whispering once freed from him “...don’t say things like that”

“Or deceivingly evil too” he adds with a chuckle. Naoaki is clearly enjoying just how easy it is to get you all flustered. Cute is the word he uses to describe how he sees you. “Feeling better?”

“... a bit”  Once your embarrassment disappears, you turn back to him, now able to appreciate the intentions behind his unforeseen efforts. 

You don’t know how he does it, (or why in some of your most self-conscious moments) but it’s like he has a sixth sense when detecting whenever you’re feeling down—Perhaps it’s your glaring gloomy face and your uncharacteristic silence that gives it away—and how always knows how to make you happy. 

You truly can't believe you were blessed enough to meet him in a place like this.

“Did you like the candy?” you proceed to change subjects, one that you remember not following through due to both of your unavoidable commitments.

“I’m not that much into sweets, but I liked the few I tasted.” Naoaki admits as he leans back into his arm, sighing. You move closer to him, placing your arms alongside his and resting your head on his shoulder, gaze landing on the garden before the two—it's one of the few that still had some spring flowers, the others having already withered away due to the cold weather. In order to make the most of them before they inevitably disappear, this has become your go-to place whenever taking a break. “Now that I think about it, that makes me sound a bit ungrateful”

“No— of course not!” you shake your head; the last thing you wanted was your gift to be perceived as anything else but what you intended: appreciation. “I mean… I was just trying to repay you for all the things you’ve given and done for me… but there’s nothing more I would’ve liked than getting you something closer to your preference, but I—”

“Don’t worry about it” he interjects, swiftly cutting the path he thinks to be leading you back into sour memories. He’s stayed away until now, and Naoaki wants to keep it that way. “I still liked them. I just hope you don’t mind I shared them with Naohiko and Naofumi so they wouldn’t go to waste”

“Oh, you did?” you blink, and your interest is hooked at their mention.

It’s been quite a while since you saw either, even more so to when you last spoke to them.

The only exception being Naohiko, and that’s only because of the surprising interest he had towards one of your ladies. From there, it’s not hard to guess why he kept his distance from you: he doesn’t like you. And honestly? You’re ok with that. He’s not very friendly to begin with anyways.

Naofumi, however, is the one you have not seen at all after your introduction, aside from brief glances here and there, occasional greetings whenever he’s close enough to hear them, but from there, nothing. He’s virtually invisible, and that’s a shame, because you felt a certain affection towards him and would love to get to know him a bit better. Maybe Naoaki can arrange something…? 

“What did they think?” you ask.

“I hope you weren’t expecting much from Naohiko, since he’s kind of… how do I say it…?”

“A jerk?” you blurt out, and he huffs.

“Heh, guess there’s no other way to put it”

“Hmmm, well, it seems he’s only like that with me. Others would say he’s not that bad.” you say, and Naoaki raises an eyebrow.

“Now that’s a new one. Where did that come from?”

“Oh, nowhere.” you shrug, reaching for another grape. You intend to stuff it in your mouth as if to create an escape from being confronted and telling on more than you already have, but Naoaki, who came from a family of exceptional sorcerers, caught on to your intentions almost immediately, and swiftly robbed the grape from your hand, foiling your escape plan and causing you to drop your mouth agape out of shock. “Hey!”

“Ah, ah” he grins, raising his hand to keep the grape away from you as you scurry to grab it back, to no avail. “No grape for you until you tell me”

“Tell you what? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you feign ignorance, or more like try to save Hitomi’s reputation, with a wide grin on your lips that implies something else. You might be a bit offended by his actions, but you can’t say you weren’t having fun.

“I’ve never heard anyone say that about my brother” he explains, face leaning closer to yours. You blush, darting your eyes away at the sudden proximity. “Come on, Y/N. Tell me— or I’ll be forced to keep you here. I don’t care if you have more things to do, you’re not leaving until you tell me.”

“Well then, I hope you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing because we’re spending the night here!” you declare, crossing your arms and looking away. He huffs, clearly impressed

“Seems I miscalculated your loyalty for your staff.”

“My staff?” you blink “Who said anything about—”

“Guess.”

Ah, Naohiko, of course. His well-known imprudence goes hand-in-hand with indiscretion. There is no way he would’ve been able to keep quiet about his newfound interest on the then newest addition to the staff, the dark yet beautifully mysterious Hitomi, without gushing about it to his brothers, of course. It’s physically impossible for him to do so.

“...Oh” you murmur, sounding a bit defeated. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Well, putting aside Naohiko’s opinion, Naofumi liked them very much. I’m telling you, you don’t find these kinds of things around the estate, so it's only obvious they'd jump at the chance of eating them—even if they don’t like it.” he reassures you with a smile, enjoying the way your face seems to light up at the seeming approval of one of his siblings. A sight he never wishes to take his eyes from… or better, earn it for himself. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything, I can assure you, they liked it”

“I wasn’t that worried about them…” you slowly begin to confess, cheeks slowly obtaining a crimson color as you glance from the garden before you, to his hands, and finally, up to his eyes.  “...I was more worried… about you.”

“Really?” he murmurs, his voice low and husky, in such a way that makes something inside you… burn, as he tilts his head to the side. 

Naoaki is moved by your admittance, however, he’s not surprised, for you often portray your care towards others, it was in your kind nature after all.

But the more he gets to be with you, the more he can’t help but think that, from a moment forward, there’s been an additional value behind your words, your actions; and he’s not talking about the night he cuddled you, he’s talking about something else, something deeper.

Something more meaningful, intimate between the two—a thing he longs for, yet, saddens him.

There’s no doubt in his mind that if the circumstances between the two had been completely different, without his brother lingering in the background, and no commitments holding you down, he wouldn’t be this hesitant. Perhaps you neither.

But after all that’s happened… is it… impossible? Maybe… there is something to be done.

“Do you think of me often?” he incites. “Because I do”

“…There’s no way to answer that” you press your lips together, swallowing before looking away once again—you can never look him in the eye like this, yet, as overwhelming as it feels, you don’t wish to run away.

“I think there is.” He says, moving his hand close to your lips, hovering over them and carefully placing the grape there, as if inviting you to let it in. 

You were hesitant, beyond flustered by the seemingly intimate undertone of his action and the consequences that it could unleash, but you eventually relent, slowly opening your lips and accepting the fruit.

But when you thought your agitation couldn’t worsen, the moment you feel the warmth from his fingertips slide over your lips your heart explodes.

It’s not the first time you’ve been this close to him, the most being when you shared a bed with him one particular night you were feeling like absolute garbage, but this… this is beyond that—and you know so because it feels like that. 

You’ve long admitted feeling the existence of a sprout, the smallest of them yet ever present, of what you assumed to be feelings for him. 

It took you a while to get there, still working on it in a way, mainly out of fear of doing something that might endanger you, or… not wanting to go past the point of no return when you finally acknowledge them.

It’s not time for that, you’d say to yourself from time to time, as if to feel less guilty for them this isn’t something you should be doing if you want to survive…

But if all he’s ever done is bring you happiness in this cold, dark world, keep you… hopeful, perhaps even motivated, to keep on fighting…

Is it really that bad to indulge in them?

Anyone else would’ve supposed not.

After chewing your grape, you look back up to him, only for your cheeks to flare up even more—was that even possible at this point?—for his golden eyes were firmly set on yours, and it might just be your imagination, but you feel as if he were… asking you to do something. Do more.

It’s like he could see the essence of your soul, and the turmoil in your thoughts, discarding everything else around you, and hypnotizing you to solely keep your attention on him and make a decision regarding your feelings.

But that moment was not to arrive just yet, and when his exposure felt too much for your poor heart to handle, as well as remembering your current position, you instinctively looked away, comfortingly reaching for another grape, and shoving it into your mouth, in order to bail you out of this situation.

Had you been alone, in the confines in your room with him, underneath this exact situation, would you have reacted the same way? Or finally take the next step?

“…A—Anyways” you murmur, voice strained, as you do your best to wash away the lingering sentiments of this sudden encounter while praying that this hadn’t ruined anything between the two. After all, there is a possibility you were just misinterpreting his actions…

Can you still say that after he admitted to wanting to be close to you, outside of a simple friendship?

“How’s—How’s work?”

Naoaki falters for a moment at your unexpected detour, frantically asking himself if he had overstepped and caused you to feel uncomfortable.

Maybe, but even then, he doesn’t allow this change to upset him that much—out of the necessary of course. Naoaki hates the possibility of hurting you, so much that he’s already thinking on how to make it up to you— for  he's long learned that these small moments with you are the ones he should value above anything else; if it’s meant to happen, it will… he supposes.

Instead, he smiles, holding back his disappointment and angst for longing something more, before continuing on with conversation.

“Busy, it’s been terrible. And it’s only getting worst since we’re getting close to the busiest day of the year” 

“Busiest day…?” you repeat, wasn’t that usually during summer?

“October, finals of” 

Oh. Right. It’s only the second busiest day of the year for sorcerers.

“Halloween” you answer “Wow, time sure goes by fast”

Has it really been that long since you married Naoya?

“Especially when you’re busy.” he groans. Naoaki sure loves working as a sorcerer, but sometimes it just… ugh. “I’m not enjoying the fact I rarely get time to spend here anymore, from the moment I wake to when I sleep, all I do is work, work, paperwork, and more work”

“I’ve noticed—you rarely spend the night here too.”

“Hmmm, when you put it that way, I guess I got lucky.”

“Why?” you tilt your head, confused.

“I saved myself from your cold hands and feet”

You pale.

“Jesus… Naoaki” you frown “… you always have to make fun of me, don’t you?”

“I can’t help it, you make it too easy” he smirks, and your indignation (or worry, more likely) is ignited once more.

“I’m working on it. It was supposed to be a surprise but… I guess I could tell you now” you effused, now both excited and nervous to see his reaction. “I was making gloves for you! So… my hands wouldn’t bother you that much”

Naoaki blinks, now it’s his time to be flustered.

“Oh, Y/N… I—I was only joking about that!”

“... it doesn’t have to be just for that” you say, embarrassed to have taken his words a bit too seriously. But you couldn’t be blamed, the last thing you wanted to be is a nuisance for him… and you felt your hands too… maybe you should be the one wearing them? Oh, how… awkward… “You can take them to missions, or just… use them in general… If I ever get to finish them”

“What do you mean?”

“I was doing them alongside Hitomi, but now she’s doing something else so I had to pause that. I hope I’ll be able to catch up before winter ends!” you chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your neck and Naoaki smiles. He already thought you couldn’t be any more perfect… but your enthusiasm towards his gift proved him wrong.

“I’m sure they’re going to be great when you finish them” he reassures you and your heart flutters. For him, you’ll do your best. “As for catching up… there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you before I leave again”

“Oh” your heart sinks. Already so soon? He’s only been here for a few hours, must he really go? “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. And it seems I won’t be able to visit you until halloween season is over, but I’ll try to do my best to be here.” he says, and you press your lips. It definitely sounds like it’s going to be a long time before you’ll be able to see him again… you just hope nothing bad happens until then.

“What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“I saw your sister the other day”

And in less than a second, the sentiments you had of anguish pertaining to his absence were swiftly replaced by those of shock and optimism, for what this sudden course of events could mean to your predicament, and overall, the closure you've been desperately seeking.

“Wh—where? When??” Unable to contain your emotions, you fret, instinctively lunging towards him and grabbing his hands. Although when it comes to him, when do you not?

“HQ called for a reunion a while ago” Naoaki starts, holding onto your hands gently. It was endearing for him to see how your big round eyes glistened with anticipation at the mention of your sister.

Oh, if only…

“I wasn’t expecting to be there at first, but since I’m covering for Naoya for the moment… Anyways, the meeting turned out to be a pretty important one since a bunch of other sorcerers were there, amongst them, your sister.”

“Was—Did you see my brother too?” you naturally presume, your expectations now soaring in the sky.

“No, unfortunately I didn’t” he responds, and you press your lips, discouraged. «Well, you shouldn’t be greedy» you try to reassure yourself «it’s good enough that he’s been able to see at least one person from my family»

“What happened? Did she talk with you? Did you talk to her?”

“Ah, Y/N… I’m going to be completely honest—I tried approaching her but she… she didn’t seem very friendly” Naoaki chuckled nervously, so as to hide his own disappointment towards himself. It seems that whenever he has advancements regarding your family, it’s always negative.

He wishes that the day he’d be able to tell you something good will come soon… if only to easen some of your burdens.

“What… happened?” you prod on. To say that you were also disappointed… well, it was only expected that you’d be. “Did she say something?”

“I tried approaching her, at first to say hi but as soon as she looked at me I felt as if I had done something terrible. She gave me a stern look, remained quiet, and then… left. I gotta say Y/N, if it wasn’t because you two look alike, I would've never guessed you were related to her—since you’re so kind and friendly…”

With that, alongside the fact this wasn’t the first time you heard such a thing, you’d have to agree with Naoaki.

Hinata always carried an aura that was colloquially known as  “scary dog privilege” wherever she went—especially with you. 

In other words, whenever out together, Hinata acted as if she were your own personal bodyguard, scaring off unsuspecting passersby she considered unworthy of your attention, presenting a threat to you, or just people she didn’t vibe with—and that’s a behavior she had since childhood

To make matters worse, Ren was like that too—you grew to assume that their overprotectiveness came from your status as the youngest of the family (and in some peculiar cases, fear of being replaced), a quirk that came straight from your father’s side—although you could feel a bit at ease with him, since he acted that way that with everyone… kind of.

So to hear that your sister wasn’t that receptive towards Naoaki was not surprising—if anything, it just made sense. From a start, Hinata never liked the Zen’in, considering them to be too conceited. A sentiment that naturally extended to Naoya. Who Naoaki looks like…

You sigh.

Had Hinata known Naoaki the same way you did, you were absolutely sure their encounter would’ve been way different—maybe even worked with him to get you out of there— but since all she has for reference is Naoya, it’s only natural that she’d treat him with a certain… disdain. 

Perhaps not stupidly obvious as to not set off any alarms, but she wouldn’t relate to him any more than necessary. For all she knew, Naoaki might be just as guilty as Naoya.

Is that—is that the reason why she hasn’t responded to your letters? They are signed under Naoaki’s name after all…

«Oh, Hinata…»

You really hoped she would’ve seen through their façade and given them a chance… Her stubbornness can be quite the powerful enemy when it comes to it.

But if that hasn’t been achieved in the past, what makes you think it would change now?

“Yeah, that sounds like my sister alright” you murmured, releasing another sigh. “She’s always been like that, not… very friendly.”

“She did greet me eventually” Naoaki interjects, as if trying to save the reputation of your sister before your eyes. As an older brother, he knows all too well that awful feeling of disappointing your younger siblings. “It was a quick nod, and I can’t blame her, she seemed to have the heaviest workload of the season, at least from what I heard at the briefing—no wonder she wasn’t all too friendly, she’s probably overworked.”

Another reason, the most plausible one, for her silence. One that consoles you into not being so harsh towards her.

You can’t imagine that being a very important, highly sought after sorcerer was any fun, or that it left her any time to do something. That was already her life when she was just a student, getting to see her less and less during holiday breaks, so now that she’s a professional it just got worse.

Yet, as overworked as she was, you never left her mind. 

This doesn’t make you feel any less regretful than you already were when it came to your frustration for her lack of response—but it at least reminds you to be extra careful if you decide to send more letters to her.

Your actions, even though taking place in a secluded area, must not jeopardize her in any shape or form. Avoid giving away anything that might inform Naoya you’re planning your escape with your sister and ruin her efforts. 

Now that you think about it, Naoaki actually exposed himself even more than he already has when it came to interacting with her. 

If anyone from the Zen’in clan, or someone close to them, had seen the two or gotten the faintest idea that something was going on, they might’ve rushed to relay this information to your tormentors with the purpose of enacting punishment—more so after your reputation as been notably tarnished after the rumors that sprouted between you and Naoaki.

You assume that because something has yet to occur, they didn’t know—but risks are something you can’t afford to take and maybe next time you won’t be as lucky.

“It’s good she didn’t say anything then” you say, and this catches Naoaki by surprise.

“Why do you say that, Y/N?”

“Because someone could’ve seen you with her and assumed something bad” you explain “I’m… supposed to be here, cut away from the world, right?”

“…right” he frowns, whenever he remembers that you’re virtually locked up in this fancy jail infuriates him. Yet, he doesn’t want you to lose hope, and he reminds you that. “I’m still willing to send her letters.”

“Thank you… but right now I don’t have anything” you say, omitting the fact that you’ve been writing consistently, although as explained before, for therapeutic reasons. Not exactly letters you’d want to be delivered any time soon, if at all, and certainly not the ones you’d wish to get intercepted if you ran out of luck. “For now I just want you to focus on your job, do the best you can, and get back safely—from what you’ve told me, it seems it’s only getting worse.”

“Ah, that’s nothing new” he shrugs. “The only thing I look forward to when out are the days I’ll be able to see you again.”

“…gee, you just love making me feel bad, don’t you?” you pout.

“Huh? Why?” he chuckles. “I’m just saying the truth”

“Because you make me sound like I’m so interesting, when that couldn’t be any further from the truth! I just tend to the house, help Mai and Maki with their homework, or follow Junko around the estate. Certainly not things I’d call exciting.”

“That’s not true. And you know that.” Naoaki frowns, he never, ever liked this denigrating aspect of yours. To him, you were doing equally important work. “Either way, I’d rather you do that than be out there where it’s not safe… Although I’m sure you’re more than apt in defending yourself, fellow sorcerer—even if you hadn’t told me your technique yet.”

Ah, if only he knew you were questioning your abilities in one of those many letters…

“Like I told you… I’d rather show you.” you explain and he smiles.

“I’ll look forward to that day then” He gently pinches your cheek, and you huff, annoyed by the pain from his pinch, before laughing once he releases you and chuckles as well.

A shadow suddenly emerges at the distance, catching your attention just by the corner of your eye, making your head swirl into its direction in an attempt to figure out what it was. 

The answer soon appears clear as day: It’s Mariya, with a tray in her hands intended to pick up your plates, walking towards the two, alongside the reminder that your break was over.

“I have to go now” you say, a bit embarrassed at the notion that she might’ve seen your closeness with Naoaki, as well as upset that it had to end seemingly so soon—It’s been well over an hour, far longer than what you intended, but with him, time seems nonexistent. “Well, I’m certainly happy that I got to see you before you left”

“It was nice seeing you again too, pretty” he smirks and you halt, mind attempting to process his compliment, before continuing on by standing up quickly, an effort made to aside your fluster, and begin to pick up your plates—but Naoaki wins you to it by doing the same, if not a bit faster.

“…Thank you” you say, receiving the dishes from his hands, before looking up to him. No words were said between the two, but you knew it was not time to say goodbye.

Your farewells with him now consisted of a hug, which you were more than tempted to do on this occasion, but Mariya’s presence stops you, so instead, you opt to perform a simple bow, wish him a good trip, and turn around for your own departure.

Or so that’s what you intended to do, for Naoaki had another plan; before you were able do as much as think of heading towards Mariya, he swiftly grabs you by the arm, careful to not startle you into dropping the plates and pulls you into his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around you and encasing you there.

Your heart was already a mess the moment the back of your head landed on his chest, more so when you unwittingly imagined the look in Mariya’s face for acting witness to this moment, but when you take a whiff of his scent, and feel his head resting on yours before kiss it, you spiral.

“In case I don’t see you for a while—I don’t want to forget how you feel in my arms”

With your hands slightly trembling, Naoaki eventually releases you from his grasp, slowly turning you around to give you a soft kiss on the forehead—another gesture that has your heart thundering against your ears.

“See you later, Y/N. Don’t work yourself too hard.” And with that, Naoaki leaves.

Your eyes remain glued on his back as he walks further and further away from you, as if trying to ensure his safe departure, before returning to the present and to the stern face of a woman who wasn’t too fond of this relationship (but under divergent circumstances compared to the Zen'in) when he was finally gone—Mariya.

Once seeing you walk towards her, Mariya snaps out of her trance and steps closer to you, intending to swiftly maneuver the plates from your hand into her tray. 

“Did you enjoy your food?” She asks. You tried to help her with her task, but no matter how many times you tried, she never relented. Well, Mariya didn’t gain her outstanding reputation for nothing.

The first thing that Mariya noticed from the plates was that the snacks were completely gone. She usually doesn’t make a big deal out of it, outside of watching what kinds of things you were inclined to eat and see if they matched Junko’s… “suggested” diet, however before she could do all that, she first needs to assess whether it had been you the one behind its emptiness or Naoaki, whom she has now unwillingly taken the role to feed as well.

Which she did not like, not one bit.

Couldn’t he just ask his own staff or something? Her loyalty only extends to you, not him. Ah, well, it doesn’t matter anymore, she’s long accepted the fact that whenever he’s around she’s feeding two.

“Yes, it was good as always” you say, a quick nod and a smile on your face as you now follow Mariya deeper into the estate and onto your following chores—your previous sentiments of awkwardness now slowly dissipating. “The grapes were particularly sweet today.”

“They’re from a fresher batch, Haruko made sure to check them.”

“Haruko’s taste never fails.” you proudly state. “I know I can always count on her for that!”

Mariya’s lips tugged upwards at the mentions of one of the sisters, and it wouldn’t take much longer before she comes to the conclusion that she’d be a fool to let Naoaki ruin her time with you. After all, she too has found a good friend in you.

“Her reactions are the best way to know if a food is good or not. If it’s good, she’d grin, but if it’s bad, she’d twist her mouth in the funniest way ever that always has me laughing!—Ah, this takes me back to the face she made upon tasting the sweets you got her. I’ve never seen her that happy!”

And how could you forget? It had been a sight that eased your nerves, caused by your indecision when it came to selecting gifts for your staff. 

Of all of them, you were most hesitant towards Haruko due to her peculiar appetite. While she was known to be a great lover of all the edible, you didn’t want to choose the one thing she didn’t like.

Fortunately, of all things that were said of Haruko, being a picky eater was not amongst them, apparent on her excitement upon receiving your gift, wasting no time to rip the box open and gobble all of its contents, which naturally earned her a scolding from Hitomi.

“If you eat them too quickly you won’t get to enjoy them!”

Haruko was on her way to retaliate, but you swiftly interrupted her by taking out another bag of sweets and handing it over to her.

“I… kind of suspected that would happen, so I got more.” you explain nervously. “I wasn’t sure which of the two to get you, so I got both… I hope it’s ok.”

Moved by your gesture, Haruko would begin to cry, much to your shock, and then, happiness.

“Oh Y/N-chan…!” she then lunged towards you to wrap her arms around you, unwittingly rattling you. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you so much!!”

You chuckle, immediately wrapping your arms around her, reassuring her it was fine and to continue on with tasting out all of the sweets—you got her a variety pack after all, and all flavors must obtain her approval before anything else!

Hitomi on the other hand, relents to accepting that her sister will always be like that, sighing and crossing her arms as if disappointed, but then, a smile parts her lips, proving that it really didn’t bother her that much either way.

Hitomi and Mariya would also get a gift from you, showing their gratitude in a less theatrical way than Haruko, but holding the same sentiment.

The seamstress would have a few samples at that moment, before saving them for another occasion, in her own words: to have after dinner, or when craving something different from the usual.

And Mariya would do the same, keeping her two bags for another moment, but for an entirely different situation. Which wasn’t a decision that raised any suspicion amongst the rest of your staff, only clear to those involved: she intended to share them with Tatsuro, her boyfriend. And you wanted her to share them with him, for you also wished to acknowledge how he, although indirectly, supported you as well—it’s why you gave her double the gifts in the first place.

From there, last but not least, Mai and Maki: as a reward for all the hard work they’ve been doing at school and to keep persevering, as well to show that you cherished them very, very much. God knows they deserve it the most.

However their mother, always the attentive one, seemed to sense the intention from you as soon as it crossed your mind, and before you were even able to do as much as ask for them, Junko warned.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Well, now you were left with more bags that you would’ve liked, and the responsibility of finishing them before rumors began to make their way across the halls.

Haruko, Hitomi and you tried to finish them to the best of your ability, but the team took a hit when Haruko went into a small sugar coma, forcing the rest of the members to delegate this task to someone else, that person being… Tatsuro.

Ever since that aspect of Mariya’s personal life became apparent, all of her actions gained another layer of meaning—it was so obvious that when she wasn’t partaking in her responsibilities, she was spending time with him. Either through her slightly pinkish cheeks, the smallest strands of her out of place from her usually tight bun, or the subtle stammers accompanying her speech… all roads that led to him.

Which prompts you to ask…

“So… how was Tatsuro today?” you say, a mischievous smirk on your face as the two continue on your path.

“Good… thank you for asking.” Mariya says, carefully glancing at her surroundings as if to check no one’s around, before continuing on. “He’s been in a happier mood since you got him those candies, said it reminded him of his childhood, when he’d go to the convenience store after a hard day at school, to cheer himself up.”

She laughs at the memory.

“Oh, and what was a hard day for you, Tatsuro? Getting to study instead of playing? ” she’d tease.

“Absolutely! A kid has to enjoy a healthy balance of work and play! You’ll have the rest of your life to worry about those things—so why not make the best of your youth when you can?” he states proudly, before pulling her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her shoulder “And I just happen to know someone who needs to be reminded of that”

“Just eat” she says, hearing him laugh before kissing her cheek.

“I’m glad he liked them” you smile before sighing. “Ah, but I’m still upset that I wasn't able to give them to Mai and Maki…”

“Don’t torture yourself with it. You know how their mother is, it’s the intention that counts at the end, and I’m sure they would’ve liked it either way”

“I would’ve loved to hear it from them though… and isn’t it weird that Junko-san doesn't let them eat candies? They’re kids! That’s when you’re supposed to!” you justify.

“Is that what you told yourself when you were younger to not feel bad?” Mariya raises an eyebrow, taunting you with a smirk.

“…Maybe” the two laugh. “Oh, come on, Mariya! Don’t tell me you didn’t indulge in sweets when you were younger!”

“I couldn’t afford them when I was younger” she declares, and her statement makes you feel… a bit like a jerk, honestly. You really should remember that not everyone has the same facilities as you—Hitomi and Haruko being prime examples of that, having previously confided to you that they virtually send all of their money to their mother and sister in order for them to live a comfortable life. 

Mariya catches your gloomy reaction, which immediately makes her regret her selection of words, and proceeds to clear up the guilt in your face. “I mean, I might not specifically indulge in sweets, but there were other things I liked.”

“Like what?” you eventually ponder, now feeling less imprudent. What could the talented Mariya long for when the midnight craves hit?

“Shaved ice— I know it’s not that easy to do, but, oh… it’s so, so worth it.” She says, with a tone that drips of desire to get her hands on a bowl.

“What’s your favorite flavor?” 

“Strawberry, but I’ve been leaning more into lemon nowadays, or a combination of flavors. Ever since Tatsuro bombarded me with strawberries I’m done with it—at least for now.”

“Aaaahh, so the best way to win your heart is through food?” you gasp “Who would’ve known!”

“You’re quite cheeky, aren’t you?” she grits her teeth, you laugh.

“But am I lying though??—Oh, how sweet!”

“…He is! “ Putting aside your playfulness, Mariya succumbs to doting on her undeniably adorable boyfriend—and let him be appreciated too! “Whenever there’s a new delivery of shaved ice he always does his best to save some for me…”

“Aww, I can see he loves you, very, very much” you gush “How long have you and Tatsuro been dating for?”

“We’ve actually been together for a few mon—”

“Who’s Tatsuro?” A gentle voice asks, coming from behind the two and certainly unaccounted for, evident by the way you and Mariya freeze on the spot, wide-eyed and skin pale, while darting at each other distressed we messed up glances before slowly turning around to uncover their identity:

It was Hitomi. The last person they wanted knowing of Mariya’s secret. 

There’s a reason why you and Mariya had kept this aspect of her life away from them, specifically the seamstress. And it’s not because neither believed them capable of keeping a secret, as you stated before, they were tombs when it came to that.

But rather… Mariya didn’t want to disappoint them. Didn’t want to appear hypocritical by saying she was following the guidelines of the estate, and then, not.

She already went through her fair share of doubts when it came to accepting her feelings for him and subsequently starting a relationship, so she could only imagine how this would shatter the perfect image of responsibility she conveyed to them—the one that worried her the most was Hitomi, the stricter of the two, and the most sensitive as well.

Thus, it’s only reasonable that she’d lie on this occasion.

“Oh, no one important.” Mariya explained, jumping to adopt the indifferent stance she has to take in these situations, while scrambling to create a good enough response to stop Hitomi’s rising suspicions. “Just a fellow staff member, one I talk to from time to time to check the goods that arrive at the estate. He’s part of the group in charge of the exteriors, like finding wood, or the food that isn’t found at the village, those kinds of things—that might be why you don’t know him.”

The seamstress keeps quiet while intently staring at your main lady-in-waiting, seemingly with no other intentions than to scrutinize her words down to the smallest details and find the underlying deceit, if there’s any. 

As seconds pass and she has yet to say anything, both you and Mariya feel the pressure of her judgment growing heavier and heavier in the air, slowly coming to realize that the moment both did the best they could to avoid, has finally arrived.

Time goes by agonizingly slowly under Hitomi’s sharp gaze, and you could almost feel a confrontation was to happen, the anticipation making your palms sweat, Mariya’s heart pounding painfully —it’s such a nerve wracking moment, that when Hitomi finally decides to speak, both feel like they’re going to pass out.

Fortunately, it seems that all their worries were for naught, for what she says and does is nothing less than music to both yours and Mariya’s ears: she sighs, crossing her arms, and takes the conversation to an entirely different direction.

“I see. Well, I just came to see Y/N.” Hitomi says “There’s some clothes I want her to try for the cold season, before it gets cold obviously.”

“Oh—it’s that what you’ve been working on?” Mariya asks, now feeling safe that her secret will continue being just that, a secret. Nonetheless, something from this moment would continue to bother her the back of her mind, as if telling her to not lower her guard just yet, for Hitomi might’ve moved this topic for another day…—or maybe it’s just her paranoia speaking.

“Yes—I wanted to make something for Y/N-chan as a thank you for the gift she gave us.” she explains—and suddenly it all made sense as to why she’d paused your lessons with her, why she’d disappeared for hours, or why she was going down to the village more often than necessary. It’s because she was preparing warm clothes for you.

And as if that wasn’t impressive enough, the reason behind her actions makes you feel more silly when comparing what you gave her in the first place. 

You don’t try to believe, at all, that your candies are adequate competition against the amazing garment you were absolutely sure she had prepared for you…

“Oh…” you murmur, cheeks red with embarrassment yet, moved by her gesture. “thank you…”

“It’s nothing” she says, turning to you and giving you a smile. “I already have the things in your room—if there’s nothing else pending to do, I’d like you to try them on now.”

“There’s only one thing left on your schedule, Y/N” Mariya says “But it’s not urgent, so we can postpone it to later.”

“Then it’s set, let’s try on some new clothes!” You grin, clasping your hands. Truth to be told, you were glad this change happened, because you weren’t feeling like going back to your duties just yet. So no resistance from your part.

“Where’s Haruko, by the way?” Mariya asks once the group begins to head towards your chambers. 

“She’s in the kitchen, but she’s already making her way here.” Hitomi responds. Knowing her sister well, she made it her duty to tell her first before searching for you, for in Haruko’s own words… I’d die if you made something and didn’t show me! 

“Then it won’t take long to see her.” Mariya presumes, and just as they enter the living quarters, the blurry image of Haruko sprinting to their direction makes its appearance. “Talk of the devil…”

“Ah, I’m so happy I managed to get here before anything started!” she breathes, rushing over to the group while seemingly holding something underneath her sleeves and obi—her enthusiasm makes you feel anxious and a bit embarrassed, for it makes it seem as if you were attending some kind of gala… 

Well, you won’t say that underneath all those sentiments, you weren’t a bit excited too.

“What do you have there?” Hitomi frowns upon noticing the protrusion on her clothes, silently hoping it’s not one of her usual escapades that will definitely put her in trouble if seen by the wrong eyes…

“Snacks, of course!” she grins, making the youngest of the two groan. Mariya and you hold back stifled chuckles, the performance was just about to start.

“Oh, Haruko! How many times have I told you not to do that? Were you at least careful to not be cau—” 

Thud!

The noise, although relatively demure when compared to Hitomi’s voice or the sounds of water coming from the nearby pond, is prominent enough to cut through their conversation and immediately pull their attention towards it’s direction.

They kept silent, as if waiting for a repetition…

Thud!

It came from the same direction, and now, all of their attention is on it. With their curiosity growing stronger and stronger the closer they got to its origin, more so when distinguishing rushed, heavy footsteps amongst the commotion.

Walking deeper into the living quarters, they eventually see a group of staff members gathering in the hallways, who were carrying two large boxes as they walk towards one of the rooms and stop just outside the door—coincidentally, yours.

“What is going on?” you’re the first to ask when they put down the cardboard boxes outside your room. Unable to figure out by a mere glance, the first thing that comes to mind is that the Zen’in finally grew tired of your presence and decided to gather your things and kick you out—although by Naobito’s threat, you doubt that’s the reality…

Or maybe they’re transporting something and decided to take a small break, completely unrelated to why they were standing out your room.

… But they’ve been there for a while now… so that couldn’t be it either.

You’re back to the starting point, with a mystery that appeared to make less and less the longer they stared, keeping you and your staff at edge.

Eventually your group decides to walk towards the men, where one of them was seemingly dusting off a layer of dirt from the top of the box, with the intention of getting an explanation. 

Mariya had her doubts when watching them from afar, but now that they’re close she’s able to recognize one of them as none other than Tatsuro himself.

Knowing well to keep her relationship with him as neutral and unsuspecting as possible, Mariya throws the following inquiry into the air for whoever desired to respond.

“What is the meaning of these boxes?” Your prime lady-in-waiting asks, eyes darting from the box before them.

Tatsuro is the one that ends up responding either way.

“It’s a delivery for Lady Y/N”

Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi raise their eyebrows out of surprise—but you… your heart jumps out of excitement instead.

“Delivery?” you breathe “For… me?”

If so, this could mean that Hinata… that she finally responded?

You try to not show your elation… something that is easily achievable when remembering that your sister would never make her contact that obvious.

Had it been the case, you more likely than not would've heard of it from someone else first… if ever at all, since you were supposed to be under the harsh isolation.

So if not her… then who?

“From whom?” Mariya asks what’s troubling you. “Who signed it?”

“It doesn’t say” Tatsuro responds, his face lamenting he doesn’t have any more information, she tries to reassure him it’s fine. “All that we know is that it’s under her name, and that the post service delivered it to us a few hours ago, but we weren’t able to deliver it until right now” Tatsuro then turns to you “We first have to get clearance before delivering any packages to the recipients, it’s a measure imposed to ensure the safety of all members. I apologize for the tardiness if this was something urgent.”

“No, it’s fine” you say, gently shaking your head. “I… wasn’t even aware I was to get something.”

Haruko and Hitomi look at each other at the notion, before glancing at Mariya— curiosity and concern evident on their faces. 

Well, they could at least relax when it came to danger, assuming no threat was to come from the box since they passed the filters, but then… What exactly was inside the box?

“If there’s nothing more I can help you with, we’ll be going back to our posts” He says, and you nod, a gesture that serves as permission to do just that. 

Tatsuro rounds up the rest of his fellow coworkers, bowing to you, and giving Mariya a quick glance, before departing, leaving nothing but the elephant in the room and the overwhelming debacle of whether to acknowledge it or not.

“It’s truly under your name” Hitomi says once stepping closer to the box and getting a better look at the shipping label. “But it also doesn’t say who sent it—at least not directly.”

“What does it say?” Haruko asks, peeking over her sister’s shoulder.

“Something about… storage, no, warehouse. I think”

“It’s from a store more likely” Mariya explains.“Does the name sound familiar to you?”

It’s now your turn to look over to the shipping label, walking over to Hitomi and glancing over her shoulder—you’re hoping to recognize it, get to the bottom of it, but unfortunately it doesn’t ring any bells.

“No” you shake your head, disappointed. “…What… could this mean?”

“I don’t know” Mariya truthfully speaks, equally disappointed that she hasn’t been able to figure it out yet. “There’s no other way to know but to open it”

“Are you sure? What if it’s something that.. well, that I shouldn’t open?” you counter, and she presses her lips together.

“We won’t know either way if we don’t do it—besides, it’s under your name… if it wasn’t intended to be seen by you, then why send it?” Mariya explains, and it makes sense—thus after slight reluctance, you proceed accordingly.

Cue her, Haruko, Hitomi carefully picking up the surprisingly heavy boxes, a fact that made all the women dart their eyes at each other out of surprise and confusion, while you opened the door and allowed them inside.

Their size makes your already small room appear even tinier, but you reassure yourself by thinking it’s only for the time being. Who knows, maybe the things inside the box are intended to be stored somewhere else, naturally, allowing you to regain the robbed space.

Either way, once everything and everyone was inside, the decisive moment was amongst your midst.

“Which one shall I start with…?” you ask—as if the order mattered at this point— while taking a seat on your futon.

“Maybe with that one?” Hitomi suggests, pointing to the box right in front of you. It seemed the easiest route for something you didn’t want to deal with, so you concur.

“I just need something to cut—oh” you blink, surprised by Mariya’s swiftness when giving you a cutter, taken right out of her pocket. You’d seem to have forgotten that she always carried an assortment of tools on her… just in case, as she’d say. And it seems you were the only one that knew that, judging by Haruko’s and Hitomi’s intrigued faces. “Thank you”

“Don’t mention it” she says, taking a seat next to you, the sisters doing the same but on the opposite side.

With nothing else to say, you proceed to carefully take out the protective cap from the cutter —Mariya storing it away— and pressing the knife in between the flaps and against the tape, steady enough to cut through it, and effectively tearing it open.

Your hands then move to pry open the box, eager eyes landing on the sight of layers upon layers of bubble wrap—whatever was inside, it was fragile. A notion that does nothing to ease your or your staff’s rising interest, and if anything, urges you to act faster.

Removing the protective layers from the top, it’s then revealed that the box was carrying an extensive selection of… thin books? No, something else…

It’s here that the group's opinions heavily deviate from one another.

While your staff were nothing less than intrigued when it came to figuring out what they were, and who was the sender… your blood slowly began to run cold as your mind fearfully began to realize exactly what they were.

But your definite conclusion doesn’t come along until your trembling hands pluck out one of the many thin sleeves from the box, pulling it out completely, before your heart sinks to your stomach, flinching and instinctively throwing the item away while frantically stepping back from the box when your eyes eventually landed on the recognizable cover on it.

Your reaction, alongside the echoing noise of the object crashing against the wall makes your staff immediately jolt to your aid, concerned faces, and supportive hands on your back as they fret.

“What’s wrong? What happened, are you ok, Y/N?” Mariya asks but you can’t seem to muster an explanation before lunging over to the box to verify all of its contents.

“What’s wrong, Y/N-chan?!” Haruko cries as she goes to pick up the item you throwed away—she glances at it, attempting to find something horrifying, dangerous, but unable to discover anything wrong.

Oh, but for you, that couldn’t be anything but wrong.

Why?

Because it had been nothing less than a vinyl, belonging to none other than to the Spice Girls.

The rest of the items inside the box were albums as well, ranging from studio albums, EP’s, live concerts, and even special editions exclusively released in other countries, pertaining to the Spice Girls, Dio, some of Michael Jackson, and even…. Super Junior.

All artists you mentioned the last time you spoke to Naoya.

You don’t know what to make out of this revelation, outside of the horror it engulfed you with, and the now false belief that this piece of your personal life was to remain in the past, alongside the embarrassment of the indulgence you’ve committed before him, never to be spoken of again.

But once again, you’re proven wrong when it comes to your expectations pertaining to him—no matter what you thought, what you wished, it was never bound to happen, evident by the unavoidable presence of the boxes, alongside the mysterious motive behind them.

“What are they?” Haruko asks as she takes another good look at them, Hitomi still trying to ease you down by gently caressing your back.

Their humble beginnings never gave them the opportunity to afford beyond the necessary, and by the time their interest for music began, cassettes (and eventually CDs) were in their way in, thus explaining their ignorance over the matter.

“Vinyl’s” Mariya says. “They’re… music albums, not really in circulation anymore, except for those that collect them”

“Albums?” Hitomi asks, finding the whole thing… confusing. If they were nothing more than simple music, then why did you react that way? “Who… did you—Did you buy them, Y/N?”

It’s a question they all knew had a negative answer, for you didn’t have the means to do so, but considering you hadn’t told them of what happened with Naoya the last time you were out, they had nowhere else to look.

You wished to avoid coming to this point, still suffering the shame of having disclosed something so personal to him, someone who clearly didn’t deserve this aspect of your intimacy—or any.

But now that the cat was out of the bag, as well as owing it to them to be truthful after everything they’ve done for you, you were influenced to speak.

“This—This is all related to the day I was out with Naoya”' You begin, and the women, as if they weren’t shocked enough by your reaction, freeze at his mention—with Hitomi’s face going sour while Haruko’s saddening. 

Mariya was unquestionably confused as irked by this acknowledgement, yet… a bit relieved that it hadn't been Naoaki the one behind these supposed “gifts”. 

Over and over again, your prime lady-in-waiting has declared that she’s not too fond of the relationship you had with him, only tolerating it because it seemed to bring the best of you; Nonetheless, she wasn’t appreciative of his gestures towards you because all they do is put you in a tight spot—and this would’ve done more than just that. 

Fortunately it didn’t, and it seems that she could relax if only for a moment.

«It’s the lesser of two evils» Mariya thinks, as if attempting to reassure herself. «But it doesn’t make me any less angry that it occurred through Naoya’s will»

“You don’t have to tell us.” Mariya, noticing the gloomy, slightly teary look in your eyes, interjects.

“No… I think—I think I need to tell you” You say, turning to see her “I’ve been holding on to this for a while now and I… I don’t think I can keep it any longer.”

“What… happened?” Hitom asks, your lip trembles.

“After we went to the doctor, he decided he wanted to go eat. He was insisting that I eat too, but I refused everything. I didn’t want anything from him. However, that didn’t stop him from saying he wanted to do more things, such as looking around the city” you pause, pressing your lips together, swallowing “...after walking for a bit, we eventually stopped at a record store; at that moment I didn’t know why, but after this… I—I’m now sure he noticed when I looked up to it. Anyways… we ended up going inside. Naoya left me alone for a moment, I don’t know why, and I just… started looking around. I eventually bumped into the albums I used to see a lot around my house. Guess I was too focused on them to notice when he came back, but he started asking me about them and I…. I don’t know why, but I ended up telling him how much they meant to me—hell, I even told him how my parents met because they liked music, and what I liked to hear!”

Sensing your distress, Mariya wraps her arms around your shoulders, as if to tell you that everything is alright. 

“You don’t know how regretful I’ve felt for doing that… for telling him that about my family… But I just… couldn’t stop myself—I wanted to… wanted to remember when my parents were still together, when my mom was still alive, when I was happy.” you eventually confess, pulling your hands up to your face and releasing out a wail.

As she tried to calm you down, Mariya was deep in disbelief. She couldn’t believe it— nor did she like where this was going — after weeks and weeks of making you suffer, he suddenly wants to be attentive with you? This had to be a joke.

There had to be another reason behind his actions — but what exactly?

“I didn’t think he’d remember” you sniveled. “He was very dismissive afterwards, like always, as if I were boring him!”

“And yet, here are the albums” Hitomi says, and you nod, tears falling down your cheeks.

Mariya has heard enough, enough to know exactly what to do—she just needed your permission.

“What do you want me to do with the boxes?” she asks.

“I don’t want to open the rest, and I don’t want to see them—I don’t care what you do, I don’t want them near my room.”

With that set, Mariya gestures over to Haruko and Hitomi who take less than a second to understand her silent command and get up to work.

“Go to the north wing of the estate, outside, and ask for Tatsuro” Mariya explains “He’s one of the staff members that delivered the boxes here. Tell him that you need to move them somewhere else—and tell him that I sent you, he’ll know exactly what to do.”

Hitomi and Haruko as they made their way to your door, but not before giving you a small reassurance smile as if trying to tell you they’ll handle it from this point forward, urgently heading to their new destination soon after.

Finally alone, with nothing more than the weight of your sorrow on your shoulders, and Mariya’s concern wrapped around you, you allow yourself to cry freely.

“Why—why is he doing this?” your voice cracks as you move deeper into Mariya’s embrace, she holds you tight. “Is he… is he trying to tease me?! Make fun of me?”

“I… don’t know” she answers truthfully—the always-knowing-Mariya is blank when it comes to him for the second time that day. She hates not having the answers for your sorrow, not being able to do much but give you a hug and let you cry. 

“Why does he always have to taint everything that is precious to me?!” you condemned “Why can’t he just leave me alone?! Why—why me?!? Of all people, why did it have to be me?!”

Mariya presses her lips together, attempting to keep her own tears at bay, while pulling you closer to her, as if trying to swallow your pain. 

“I just… I just want to be happy” you gasp “I want to go home; I want to be with my sister…. My brother…”

“I know, I know” she coos.

“… Guess I finally know what he was doing the second time he left.” you say “The thing he was shoving in his pocket, he probably bought the things right then and there.”

Mariya can’t say that your assumption didn’t go against what she initially thought of his gifts: that they were done in order to pull your attention back to him after you effectively ignored him once returning to the estate.

That wasn’t to be the case, however; Naoya had indeed bought the albums soon after the conversations ended. Just another layer of mystery added to your already troubled dilemma.

“What else happened after that?” she ponders carefully—Mariya knows you were already bottling lots of sentiments inside you, but she’d be damned if she allows you to carry even more burdens into your already heavy shoulders. 

“… We went to another store, a candy store. The one where I got the sweets for you guys. Said he wanted to go because he knew I liked them.”

“How… what?” Mariya asks, fear invading her voice at the prospect of Naoya finding out the depths of your relationship with Naoaki—

Having gone through these same steps yourself, you proceed to clarify the situation.

“It’s because of the wedding. Because I—I ate two slices of cake, apparently enough evidence for him to assume I liked sweets” you murmur “I also thought he’d figured out the situation with Naoaki, but he hasn’t… or if he has, he hasn’t told me”

“I don’t think he has.” Mariya concurred. “I made extra sure to keep things hidden from him.”

“… thank you.”

“don’t mention it” she says, giving you a smile.

“But it still doesn’t make sense.” you frown. “All of it, everything—Why would he do that if it wasn’t to make fun of me? To mock what they mean to me? I thought he would forget about it, like he always does when I speak to him, but somehow this was the exception!”

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore” she says “We’ll keep them away from you. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“… Do you think he’ll approach me to ask about them?”

Mariya wishes to say no, but that would only be lying to you.

“I think he will, eventually. Particularly after being informed you’ve received them. Although I’m more worried by the fact that he hasn’t already.” He’s kept a close watch on you days before your second visit to the doctor, but after that, he kept away. 

Why?

“…why can’t he just leave me alone?” you lament.

“Try not to think about it anymore” she soothes. “It’s being dealt with. The next time you come to your room those boxes are going to be gone, as if they were never here, and all that you’ll have to worry about is trying on Hitomi’s clothes”

“…I wish I could do more for all of you, for all the things you’ve done for me”

“Seeing you happy is enough for me”

“Then I’ve never been able to repay you”

“That’s not true… moments ago you were teasing me about Tatsuro!” she laughs, and her reaction makes you give her a weak smile. “I’m happy when you’re happy. Hitomi and Haruko too, they love to talk and spend time with you; there’s even moments where I have to reel them back into doing their job!

And don’t forget Mai and Maki too. They’re always looking for you whenever they can, even if their mother doesn’t want them to be that close to you. In fact, I dare to say that even Junko-san is getting to enjoy your company nowadays! That’s been more than enough payment if you ask me”

At her words, all you can do is sob.

“Oh, Y/N—”

“I’m—ah, I’m sorry you have to see me cry all the time!” you gasp, frantically wiping the tears out of your face “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I want to be happy for all of you too!”

“Take it easy, one day at a time” she smiles, squeezing you.  “We don’t have to do anything else for today if you don’t want to—you’ve already completed most of your chores anyways, we can just stay here and rest”

“What about the pending one?”

“Eh, I’m sure I can make something up” she shrugs, and you sniff before chuckling.

“Then I guess I want to do that” you respond. “And try out Hitomi’s clothes, maybe take a nap after that.” 

“I can arrange that.” Mariya grins. “Let’s wait for Tatsuro and the rest, I’m sure they’re already on their way here. And once that’s set I’ll get you something to drink so you can relax while you get ready for Hitomi”

And just as she said, footsteps were soon heard gathering outside your room, a quick knock on your door before it slid open, revealing the rest of your staff and Tatsuro’s entourage. 

Mariya peels away from you so as to help them get the boxes out of your chambers as soon as possible, but her boyfriend halts her, telling her that it was their job to do… to which Mariya reluctantly agrees, more so after Tatsuro’s teasing smirk (to which she responded by rolling her eyes), gestures that did not go unnoticed to Hitomi, who has yet to place the pieces together, but is moving dangerously close to doing so the longer she ponders at them.

After the group quickly retrieved the boxes, they made way towards an unaccounted chamber, —the same one your yellow kimono from the first time you went to the doctor (the one you couldn’t even dare look at due to it’s painful significance) was stored in— and placed them there, never to be seen again.

The rest of your day proceeds accordingly, with you fitting on Hitomi’s newest kimono, which fits perfectly on you, a testament of her incredible skill, outside of a few small details to be fixed here and there—things she could easily handle—while Haruko shared with you all of the snacks she had stolen from the kitchen; apparently there were many new fresh ingredients delivered that morning, and she wanted to be the first one to try them all out.

Mariya would come back with tea that she assured would help you relax, easen a bit and enjoy this moment… Yet, her efforts alongside those of your staff would be for naught, for as much as you wanted to think of anything else but what had transpired, your mind kept pulling you back to the shocking sight of the albums before you, and how to overcome this obstacle.

You considered rushing to seek Naoaki out and tell him what happened, but you’d either miss him for he’s already on his way to work, or distract him from his responsibilities…

And you didn’t want to bother your ladies anymore than you already have… crying and lamenting yourself had become quite embarrassing for you, even though there were days that was all you could do…

Well, whatever your entangled sentiments held, there was one thing that remained persistent, and that was Naoya’s presence in your mind:

The moment you’d encounter him again, the excuse you’ll have for when it happens, and most of all, the intentions behind those gifts.

#series: first it hurts— #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x your #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader

[shenaniganzz]

Charlie had been asked to go out with the team at a party and usually he would say no, but ever since Em came into his life, he’s been trying his best to become more open and making the friend’s that sort of just slipped themselves into his life. He was grateful for them and had always wished that he hadn’t always kept so many people at arm’s length, but now that they were here, he wasn’t going to keep them away any longer. The music was loud, he was hanging out with River and Owen and some of the other people from the team, and he even had a beer in his hand that he barely sipped out of, but he was allowing himself to enjoy his time. And he was, until he saw his sister, Eddie, walking around the room until she came over to the group that he was with. He knew that she knew he was here, they made eye contact but didn’t speak as she talked to his teammates. He was quiet, then, not allowing himself to get riled up at the sight of her, but he knew he couldn’t be around her right now. After his interactions with Luca, he didn’t want to make the same mistakes. 

“Hold this?” he asked Owen, before he moved himself away from the group. He gave himself a few moments in the bathroom to collect himself, hoping that by the time he goes back, she got bored and moved on when he didn’t acknowledge anything about her and disappointingly, when he made his way back to the group, she was still there. “Here you go, Charlie,” he heard her say to him, holding out the bottle of beer. He looked at her with confusion, seeing that Owen didn’t have his drink anymore. “Thank you,” he said quietly, taking it back. He could feel the tension between them, but she just smiled at him nicely, him knowing that that wasn’t a smile he liked, but enough that it didn’t make anyone else question her. “I didn’t know you had a sister, Charlie,” River spoke up with fake disappointment. He could feel his heart quicken, but he did his best to laugh it off and hide an answer behind taking a swig of his drink. “He’s just embarrassed of me,” Eddie said nonchalantly, laughing as she touched River’s arm. “You know how younger brother’s can be. Anyways,” she looked at Charlie, the secret of a grin hidden at the corner of lips and finished, “Congrats on the win, I hope you guys have fun tonight.” She walked away then and Charlie didn’t say anything in response. Looking at the boys, he just shrugged his shoulders, taking another sip that finished the bottle. 

He ignored the comments of hearing about his sister from the boys on the team. Even if they didn’t speak or was apart of each other’s lives, he didn’t want to hear just how hot she was, but he could feel himself feeling weird after a few moments. “Hey, come on, leave Charlie alone,” River said with a quiet laugh. He felt a hand on his shoulder and words now in his ear but he couldn’t quite make them out. “What?” he asked, looking up at the taller boy. “I said, are you feeling okay? You’re not looking so good.” Charlie could feel his heart starting to beat harshly in his chest and his head start to spin. “Yeah, I- uh, I think I’m going to head outside for a moment.” Putting his hand in his pocket, he felt his phone as he started to stumble out the front door. He didn’t hear the laughter from the boys, teasing about being a lightweight, but he could feel a certain pair of eyes on the back of his neck as he found himself to the door. “You feeling okay?” Eddie popped up right next to him, putting on a concerned look for him. “Get off me,” he said, his voice sounded slurred after he felt her hand on his arm.

“I’m just helping out, you know, no need to be an ass.” Charlie looked down at her, his jaw clenched, still being able to see through her mock concern. “What did you do, Eddie?” They finally got their way outside, no matter how much he tried to get her off of him, she was still there and sitting him down on the step of the door. “What do you mean, what did I do?” “-Cut the crap,” Charlie snapped at her. Eddie stayed quiet a moment, then the look of concern turned into something that he was more than familiar with. A glint in her eye that told him nothing but trouble. “I just really wanted to make sure that you’re having fun tonight, Charlie, is that such a bad thing?” She kissed him on the cheek just before he slumped over onto the side railing of the step, then walked away. Not even back into the party. 

Charlie could only imagine what she just did. He’s had a drink before and it’s never felt like this, his mind was only able to go to one thing. He wanted to cry and he might’ve been at that point, feeling like the helpless child that he’s suppressed for so long. No one was outside to see what was going on, thankfully, but the boom of the music was hurting Charlie to no end, he knew he had to get out of there, but he also knew he wasn’t going to be able to move from this spot for awhile. Before anything could get worse, he took his phone out, his thumb lightly hovering over Emmett’s name before he scrolled further down his short list of contacts to Lucie’s name. He shut his eyes tightly, hoping she would pick up, if not her, then maybe Wren. He knew he couldn’t call Emmett right now like this. He sniffed loudly just as he heard the voice on the other end, tears rolling down his face. “Luce? Can you come get me?”

#charlie x emmett

[tharizdun-03]

Hyouka Watchthrough

Episode 1: The Esteemed Classics Club has been Restored

Pleasantly surprised by how good the direction is. The show looks great in general too, even for KyoAni (even for KyoAni 10 years ago).

Narratively, this was solid. Mystery-solving is an interesting quirk. Not sure how that'll hold up over 22 eps but I get the feeling this will be more about them wasting time anyway with the mysteries as frosting on the whole thing, so probably not a problem.

Characterization is strong. You immediately get a feel of what they're all like. Horeki, is a typical trope, you know the loner, but I mean, it's not like it can't be done right, so we'll see. Satoshi with his database thing, Chitanda being curious. There's potential. 

Opening is cool.

The only real weird thing is the ED, where they're dressed in erotic baby clothes??? Odd choice, but it does look good. 

Episode 2: Activities of the Esteemed Classics Club

She is cute.

She is cute as well. 

Love how her arm extends beyond what should be possible to grab Oreki. Lots of good visual comedy in this show, as expected.

Good direction in this episode as well. I was particularly fond of the restaurant metaphor, and intrigued that they lingered on the shot of the librarian walking past the camera even when it wasn't necessary to do so (later on ofc it also makes sense why they lingered on the librarian and her nametag, with the succeeding mystery in mind, so clever foreshadowing).

This episode's mystery wasn't really interesting, but not quite boring either. This show is obviously more interested in just spending time with the characters as they waste time, and luckily, there's nobody better at that than KyoAni.

Episode 3: Inheritors of the Classics Club and Its Circumstances

EP 3 was an improvement on the first two. The direction is even more playful, and the mystery was the most interesting one yet.

First, I thought, "oh, he's probably hiding porn". But then they deduced he wanted to ventilate out a smell, and my mind was still set on the porn route, so the natural next step was the smell of semen? But he had to open windows AND use a fan? How much did he masturbate? Like, good god dude, control yourself a little bit.

But, enough about how my mind processes things lol. The show isn't doing much yet, but I'm just liking the mood. But, if not each mystery is strong, it could walk on that line of being almost boring, but I think we're slowly working up to something more significant here.

Episode 4: Past Days of the Classics Club and Its Glory

Hyouka continues to improve with EP 4. It's very much a mood piece, this show. I'm feeling it's less so (as of now) based around the character interactions like some of KyoAni's other SoL's, and more about the atmosphere the mysteries and discussions around them create.

That's not to say there isn't substance and charm to the character interactions, but it's not as solely focused on that as many of KyoAni's shows, this is more atmosphere oriented in another manner. if I'm making sense? I think we'll get more character meaty later too.

And again, Ibara is just so cute, I love her design. Also, lovely jeans overalls? I've always liked when girls wore those. They’re cute as shit.

Also, Oreki getting lost when he only had one direction, walk straight lol.

I'd be remiss, of course, to not mention the presentation here. Again, it's just stunning. KyoAni puts their heart and soul into every little detail.

Episode 5: The Truth of the Classics Club and Its Past

Really good episode.

Now that we've practically completed the first arc in the series, I can't say any particular element in the story blows me away, so if there's a bad mystery the entire narrative will suffer for it, but I do think it's just doing a really solid job at everything so far. 

So, yeah. I think it just comes down to KyoAni's exceptional execution again, but I certainly hope the mysteries keep being worthwhile, and that the characters keep deepening as well.

Episode 6: To Commit a Deadly Sin

EP 6 really took the idea of the show just being about kids wasting time with mysteries to the next level. It's a more low-key episode, but it's still amusing like the rest. Always pleasant to spend time with the characters. KyoAni is kinda good at this stuff, after all.

And, to be honest, dissecting random topics and thoughts (usually instigated by me) to death is practically all I do with my friends, so I totally see myself in them. It's oddly comforting, I suppose.

Episode 7: Seeing the True Identity

Loved Hyouka's 7th episode! The most engaging mystery so far (it's easy to lure me in with the challenge to explain the most seemingly unexplainable things, the supernatural being the epitome there), and it's the most in-depth look we've gotten into Oreki's head too.

I can't say all the mysteries in the show are super engaging, or that the characters are anything special, but it's all very pleasant, and it's like I said before. Hyouka is more a mood-oriented show, it's selling the feeling of the entire package, and it's succeeding at that.

That said, I do still think we got some nice Hotarou stuff, how his cynical perspective of "all ghosts are just withered flowers" was challenged in the end either way. And some shipping! We get that as well, which is always appreciated.

No shame on Houtarou, as this has happened to me, twice actually, but the fact that he actually passed out from just being so horny his body couldn't physically handle him staying conscious throughout it lol. A pitfall of his energy-conserving lifestyle perhaps.

Blessings. 

Episode 8: Let's Go to the Screening!

EP 8 seems to be the beginning of a second major story arc, huh.

The opening texting scene was interesting. It was framed as "suspicious". I suspect that the author of the script is actually in on this (cause even if she's sick, why couldn't she just tell them the answer?). Also, that you can tell it's Chitanda through the texts lol.

Very well done KyoAni, when it came to making their short film as amateurish as possible, with all the flat framing, bad acting, and camera movement that barely captures the stuff it's supposed to lol.

I'm finding myself consistently enamored by Satoshi. He mentioned earlier in the episode that even with his being a database, he isn't talented enough to do anything special with it, and the fact that he seems to envy Oreki (giving him the Strength tarot). 

I am very much enjoying this show. Again, it's so easy to see me and my friend group in these kids, so I often just get pulled into that headspace when watching it now.

Episode 9: Murder Case in the Deserted Furuoka

EP 9 was interesting enough (tho not much happened) with the whole rejecting each proposed theory, cause they either break against mystery rules or just aren't narratively satisfying, but why don't they just ask the author? She's sick, not dead.

Now, yes, obviously that's the actual mystery, hence the episode title being, “Why Didn’t She Ask Eba?”, but why haven't our characters realized this yet? They don't seem to care too much about all this anyway tbh.

We have a little fun gag with Chitanda getting drunk on whiskey chocolates, which I was concerned about since it's school, and they're underage, which did get out of hand, but it just heightens Chitanda's cuteness. 

Speaking of Chitanda, Houtarou here doesn't really act until Chitanda isn't sastified, cause she's his audience. It's not about finding bulletproof logic, usually mysteries aren't like that anyway, it's about satisfying the reader.

I thought this was an interesting moment, cause it seems like Chitanda should be really into mystery stories, so why isn't she? She's not much about deducing stuff herself, but I mean, the detective character usually does that. Maybe I'm missing something?

Another interesting moment was finding out Satoshi likes mystery novels (another hint that he's jealous of Houtarou's deductive capabilities?). 

And Mayaka getting offended on his behalf is very cute.

Episode 10: What No One Noticed

Another good episode. Having a solution where the cameraman is the killer is very creative (tho not compatible with traditional mystery rules). Satoshi continues to be really interesting, there's subtext in everything he says. Ofc, one twist is left in store for the arc.

Episode 11: End Credits of the Fool

That concludes Hyouka's movie mystery arc. It was a bit long, and a bit overdramatic by the end, but I think it all served a larger theme in the end, and that was more so the point. We got some Houtarou good stuff, along with a well-constructed mystery, so good overall.

Episode 11.5 (OVA): What Should Be Had

This was fun. It's just pleasant spending time with the characters. I was wondering if they could involve a mystery somehow, and they did (tho even I figured this one out quick). And a pool episode with attractive characters is always nice.

Episode 12: Practically Piled to the Ceiling

Great episode! Finally, the culture festival is here, and it's difficult to think of it as having been better done than here. It's just an excuse for KyoAni to show off (the breakdancing and NO CG CROWDS), and truly have the characters just "waste time."

As interesting as the mysteries can be, this is more my jam, when it comes to Hyouka at least. And there's just so much happening here, and we focus more on the characters other than Oreki this time, and their interactions with all the events, it's lovely.

The breakdancing was great, I loved Satoshi's Saturn costume and how he immediately wrecked it, and Chitanda continuously getting distracted is literally me lol. This is a really effective way to make me more emotionally invested and make the characters more loveable. 

Also, GODDAMN IT, Mayaka is cute.

Loved the visuals for the new opening, showing metaphorically how Chitanda causes Oreki to step away from the observer role and actively engage with the life around him.

The new ED is super cute too.

Episode 13: A Corpse by Evening

Hyouka's Culture Festival arc continues to be a joy. Love how the characters are all over the place so we get to see all these new sides to them, and allows KyoAni to pop off by bringing all these events to life with insane detail. This type of SoL vibes with me more.

The two presenters during the quiz show (my favourite scene in this episode) brought their A-game to this. Comedy gold. 

And Mayaka debating media experiences. Gooo drag her slay queen!

Mayaka was already plenty likable, but I think exploring her passion like this, especially as I share this passion of hers, makes her even more loveable.

As mentioned tho, while I like the mysteries in this show, this is working a bit better for me in terms of investment and is a smart move since I'm expecting the climax of the show to give us some emotional payoffs that'll hit harder with this set-up.

Episode 14: Wildfire

I'm convinced. This is the best culture festival I've seen in anime.

oh my god is that a reference to the hit visual novel 'The House in Fata Morgana'????

She is so cute i almost can't stand it.

Chitanda striking that Mugi pose (on that note, crazy that Chitanda and Ritsu share the same voice actor).

This arc is leaps and beyond what's come before in this show. I'm really loving it. Yes, we still got a mystery, but it's more of a fun one in the backdrop, and that's how I like it. Also, shout out to the OST in this episode. And, ofc, Oreki being adorable. He does care.

I was also particularly impressed by a bunch of the directorial tricks in this episode, so I looked it up, and what do you know, it's Naoko Yamada's episode, because of course. 

Episode 15: The Juumonji Incident

And with EP 15, Hyouka's Kanya Festival arc goes for a more serious turn. I do find so far that the series is doing less for me the more it focuses on its mysteries, but by all means, this was a well-executed episode nonetheless.

We still get some character stuff, of course. Hyouka never leaves that out. We really see here now how Satoshi isn't actually satisfied with only being a database, and wants to solve the mystery for once.

In the meantime, Mayaka's dynamics with the manga club is establishing her as a bit more of an independent character herself. Oreki is mostly in the background in this arc (altho he does find out that he can order products from the festival online, happy for my boy) and Chitanda does her best to help the Classic Lit club in her own special little way. 

This arc is more and more seeming to be about Satoshi and Mayaka finding their place in the world.

Episode 16: The Last Target

And Hyouka's Kanya Festival arc keeps it up with EP 16, delivering on the best slice of life, mystery-setting, and character development the series has seen so far.

While Oreki (whose PoV we still always return to) and Chitanda (who might not offer much complexity but is always busy with something) are still around, they've really taken a backseat for Mayaka and Satoshi to shine.

With Mayaka we see a more vulnerable side to her as she deals with the bullying in her club, and with Satoshi, we see him try to grab the spotlight and actually solve a mystery but still fail at it. He's a sweet guy, but there is anger there, and I fear it might burst. 

Also, literally Umineko.

Episode 16: Kudryavka's Order

And EP 17 marks the end of Hyouka's Kanya Festival arc. What a very elegant arc. The series high point, if you ask me. Impressive just how much was accomplished here, and how every layer of the narrative and characters ties back to the central theme; the curse of expectations.

Episode 18: Are the Mountains Sunny?

EP 18 is back to formula, and ngl, the Kanya Festival arc raised the bar so high that I kinda want a bit more plot again. Quirky, fun little one-off eps like this are pleasant enough, but oh well.

The most interesting thing about this episode is Houtarou. The character development in this show really is slow and subtle and you almost don't notice it, but it's there.

Houtaro has likely always been curious but just rarely acts on it, which is why he's used Chitanda and his sister as an excuse to force him to act, for example, but he's doing it himself now. He's growing. Slowly, but steady.

Episode 19: Anyone Who Knows

EP 19 was probably the best standalone episode so far. I'd still want some more meat for these final set of episodes, but can't lie and say I wouldn't respect the hell out of it if it's just lowkey stuff like this the entire way through. This was super fun.

I was honestly amazed by just how much information they deduced from a 5-second announcement alone. Hyouka is definitely unique, no other show could do this, or would even attempt to.

It's funny how the series has returned to the structure the first half had, but now with a different Oreki who's grown. Also worth noting, once Oreki starts, he ends up really trying anyway cause he hates being wrong.

But, he also just enjoys spending time with Chitanda so much that what they're doing specifically isn't important enough to remember. And on that note, boy was there some sexual tension here.

Overall just an extremely well-structured episode with plenty of good character moments (Oreki asking Chitanda about the funeral, and being willing to go with her to Jun's grave) and filled with all types of visual shots to keep things engaging on that level. Great stuff.

Episode 20: Sappy New Year

Not always a lot to talk about when it comes to Hyouka, but EP 20 was another pleasant one. I'm gonna miss this show. I really hope we follow up on Satoshi and Mayaka's character arcs from the Kanya Festival tho, cause so far, it just kinda feels like they've been reset. (also look at Oreki’s coat fucking badass)

The mystery in this episode was probably the worst one, yeah, but believable enough that it didn't hinder my enjoyment or anything. And spending time with these characters is always nice enough to just overshadow some of that.

Episode 21: The Chocolate Files

FANTASTIC EPISODE! Hyouka is one of those shows where the character development is there, but it's so subtle that it takes its time before it gets up to the surface, but it's always present in their actions if paid attention. Satoshi is the prime example of this.

Did I not say at the beginning that Satoshi seems like the most interesting character, that there was stuff beneath the surface? Did I not praise the introspection we got from him (and Mayaka) during the Kanya Festival arc? Did I not ask for a conclusion to that arc yesterday?

Yes, I fucking did, and this show answered my prayers. And I am so thankful that the payoffs we got here wasn’t grand emotional outburts, but quiet mundane wexecution wise. I also watched Toradora this year so haha. 

But, really, what we have here, in its most stripped essence, is Satoshi's fear of commitment. But, done in a really unique manner. Satoshi is afraid of commitment because he overcommits.

Satoshi explains how he eventually gave up being perfect (represented wonderfully by the uneven snowball) and is now instead just obsessed with not being obsessed, which is of course, still an obsession.

Yes, Satoshi. It might give you some temporary happiness, but you haven't gotten rid of the root problem, which still affects your relationships negatively.

We know from the Kanya Festival arc that Satoshi still cares if he loses. He certainly tries to let that go, but it still hurts. He hasn't truly grown up, he's just sweeping things under the rug (which Mayaka to an extent already knows, cause she just knows him that well).

The possibility of obsessing over Sayaka to the degree that it can bring back his old tendencies is a legitimate fear of Satoshi that has been present in his characterization from day one.

And, you know, obviously, he can't toy with Mayaka's feelings like this, but maybe, for now, he shouldn't be with Mayaka. Until he's grown up enough, maybe he shouldn't invest in another person like that, but just enjoy their presence platonically.

But, that does not give him an excuse to hurt other people's feelings. And, while we didn't hear what his conversation with Mayaka would be about (and I suspect we won't follow up on this in the next episode cause the implication is enough),it's pretty safe to guess that he's made the first step towards emotional accountability; confesses to Mayaka about all his insecurities and stops treating her so selfishly. 

He still has some growing up to do, but he'll get there, and Mayaka is obviously a girl of patience.

Episode 22: Doll in the Distance

Hyouka's finale was a fantastic and very satisfying end to the series. Beautifully encapsulated just how much these characters have grown, and how they'll continue to grow. Spring has only just begun.

I feel a bit empty after that tbh. That's proof a series has left its mark on me. There's a lot to talk about, all my thoughts are jumbled up in my head, but let's try.

I loved the soft-focus image they used when Oreki is captivated by Chitanda.

And I also love the spinning slow pan around him and Chitanda as they were walking together after the festival.

We also checked in quickly with Mayaka and Satoshi, and we got the impression that they were doing alright. Satoshi is finally being honest with her, and they're still friends, but they'll get to that next stage eventually when they're both ready.

And then we come to Oreki and Chitanda. They both practically proposed to each other here lol. Chitanda showed him her future and what she plans to do with her life, basically an open invitation for Oreki to join her and what he'll get by doing so. And he imagines it.

He imagines asking her if it'd be okay to stay by her side and help her. But he's not there quite yet. But even the fact that he imagined it is big growth on his part. He'll get there. They're 16. Ofc the show will end open-ended, their lives are open-ended at that point.

Hyouka is a great show by all means, but it was not always great. Never bad, but uneven. When it was at the top of its game, particularly the Kanya Festival arc and these last two episodes, it was superb stuff. But then the rest varies in quality. Yet it was always fun.

But, and I mentioned this back in EP 1, Hyouka is all about atmosphere, so it's slow-build. It takes its time, and it's only by the end that you really realize everything the show accomplished and how invested you got.

And this slow build applies to the character writing as well, where the character development is so subtle and rarely explicitly commented upon, but you observe it in their behavior instead. Satoshi is still the prime example of this, but they all had fantastic arcs.

But, all in all, great show. It sneaks up on you, but it's a really unique one. And I'm happy it exists.

Overall Thoughts: 

Hyouka was great! Sophisticated and intelligent narrative, filled with emotional depth and subtlety in its character writing. It's a bit uneven, but its highs are sublime. The Kanya Festa arc is genius, and the ending is fantastic. What a unique show. I'll miss this one.

#hyouka #anime #watchthrough

[lifewithsyfe]

Lifting the Veil

Not quite sure how to put this into words, but someone else needs to know what I know. This story can save people and I won’t feel right until it’s consumed by as many as possible. I can’t express how many times I’ve tried to get this out. I almost even gave up on it, but God wouldn’t let me. So, let me make another attempt at it - this is how I escaped the devil:

-

It was a Friday night, April 5th, 2019. 

I’m at El Rey on U street NW DC, having a few crispy beers by myself. Just got off work, taking it easy...

-

Then, I end up running into and old “friend” I used to hangout with. Known him for about 7 years at the time: (Dave) - tall, black, dreads, above average build.

-

After a couple of drinks, he asks if I want to hangout at one of his friends house. Said we can smoke there and that she has a lot of drugs. 

So I accepted cuz I was originally going to let the night unravel on it’s own and it didn’t sound like such a bad idea at the time.

-

It was a habitual routine I developed during my heartache…

I’d go out alone, run into a group of people I knew, bar hop ‘til we ended up at an after hours spot (or someone’s place) and shamelessly sleep my next day away.

-

So we get to the front of his friend’s building and she’s like a 60 something-year-old lady: 

(Robin) - fat, white, short, blue hair, top row gold grill and “ride or die bitch” tattooed on the back of her neck (amongst a couple others, but that one stood out most because it was in my face while she was unlocking her apartment door).

-

At first, I thought it was a descriptive-type of tattoo. Like, she was saying that that’s what she was.

But in retrospect, it was almost like it was something she saying to me...you’ll see what I mean later, if you don’t get it now.

-

Oblivious to what was about to happen next, I continued to walk through that door...

Something felt off, but I just figured it would be something low-level weird. 

I’m always seeing signs that show somebody dabbles in magic or gives a head nod to the prince of darkness (such as a pentagram or something), but I figured “if I’m not actively practicing divinity or doing weird rituals, it won’t personally affect me…if I don’t create a ceremonial invitation, then I’ll be okay.”

-

Now, I’ve already had a good amount of spiritual experiences at this point (good and bad), but for some reason I just didn’t think anything like this would happen…at least not to me. 

-

I thought I had it all figured out, because I thought I’d seen it all - or at least enough. 

I should’ve known though…I was just so emotionally numb at the time, I was doing anything to feel anything.

I mean aesthetically speaking, in a worldly sense, she looked like she’d have a few good stories or something. Needless to say by now, but I ignored the red flags in hopes of escaping my pain. 

-

So, moving forward...

We walk into her apartment, sit on the couch, watch skate videos and start breaking some weed down.

After a few minutes of small talk, they offer me some acid in a vile. Emphasizing how it was very high grade stuff, but I didn’t need much convincing anyway. I was growing bored and undergoing an overwhelming amount of emotional damage.  

-

Now, I was very into psychedelics and considered myself extremely experienced in that realm. 

But just because I did it a lot, didn’t mean I was. You couldn’t tell me otherwise though.

It was usually my go-to for when I needed that unrivaled escape from reality. 

So yeah, I took the witch’s brew, still thinking it was something I considered fun.

-

Once it started to kick in, I could feel her beginning to stare at me from the end of the room with a big grin on her face.

She then suggested that I take my jacket off because I was going to end up getting really hot, then cackled like it was the funniest thing in the world to say.

-

It was something she said a couple of times too. At first I didn’t know exactly what she meant, I just thought she was a basket case repeating herself. But she was implying that I was going to end up in Hell…you’ll see what I mean.

-

A few moments go by and they both suggest we move the party to the rooftop because her place was limiting and we could see more from up there anyway. 

Plus, she wanted to blow bubbles (possibly a way to distract me from their underlying plot)…and I figured “tripping indoors is boring anyway, why not?”

-

Now because I took my jacket off and left it in her apartment, I began shivering after a while. 

I didn’t expect for it to be that windy, I only wanted a nice little breeze.

So she says she’ll get me a something cozy to put on and that she had to go in for more soap anyway. She comes back and asks to put this fur coat on me. It was nice, so I let her. It had an invigorating energy attached to it, I can't lie. I felt like a million bucks.

-

So I’m comfortable now and she gives me a a little rooftop tour, showing me the visible landmarks from each corner.

Mentioning for me to not to be afraid of my true potential and that I can obtain everything I want. 

I was feeling pretty good about those words, until I thought to myself “that sounds familiar…what if she isn’t speaking in general?” - but I just chalked it up to her being an old hippy. 

-

She then grabs my arm and tells me to look at this red wall, as we walk to the other side of the building. I figured it’d be something visually enticing she was trying to share, but this was going to be her first attempt at hypnosis. There were lights spaced out by every three steps we took, so it would go red-black-red-black-red-black... 

-

Then she asked if it felt like my soul was being massaged - encouraging me to ride it out...essentially, trying to get me to put my guard down, saying “this is where dreams become reality.” 

Then, I began seeing holographic outlines of people in the wall. The traces reminded me somewhat of a glowing snail trail.

-

Right after, I saw myself turn into a block of deformed flesh and almost being slid into the wall if I stared any longer. 

But like I woke up in one of those falling dreams, I snapped out of it with my heart racing.

-

Then with a laugh attached, she exclaims “damn, almost!” 

And that’s when I stopped letting myself be completely naive. The veil was clearly being lifted before me and I needed to be alert. It’s just, I had this slight muffle surrounding my common sense for some reason. Surely it must've been a spell she cast.

-

Now I knew hallucinogens were considered sorcery in the Bible, but I figured one more time couldn't hurt. It’s not like I wasn’t still smoking and drinking. 

It’s just crazy, because it was after learning about the what the fallen angels taught us in the Book of Enoch, is when I decided to trip again. I blatantly chose to play with fire and defy God that night. 

-

See, these hypnotic spells are telepathic contracts. Once the manipulator is installing a vision, it’s at the last second where it becomes your choice to see what happens next.  

It nudges at your curiosity, feeling like it’s a part of the trip you’re supposed to let happen.

But every time I almost did, my heart wouldn't allow it and I’d snap out of it again.

-

Every time she would make another attempt, I could feel my soul almost getting tugged at, with a malicious presence surrounding me. 

The goosebumps I got from this thing, felt like it was ready to defile me in every way possible.

-

In disbelief that what I thought might be happening, wasn’t - I tell myself “let me not cause a ruckus for no reason, I am trippin’ after all. Think of something positive.”

But now my eyes are shifting everywhere, because I keep getting a glimpse of whatever’s approaching. 

Even with that many peculiarities, something kept me in denial.

-

Still though, she tries another set-up and tells me to look at how high up we are, as she gestured for me to look down from the rail. As if I didn’t already know, but I go because I also didn’t want to be rude. I wasn't sure if everything happening was all in my head or not at the time, so I remained as cool as I could.

-

I grab the rail and look over…

(Dave) says “don’t let go,” giving me this wide-eyed look with a smile and said “you feel it, don’t you?”

Then just like that, my heart jumped and my mind began getting flashes of demonic symbols and images like subliminal messages. I even saw random equations in the air, like measurements and ratios of whichever object I laid my eyes on.

-

My vision was about to go black, exactly like the circle closing at the end of a cartoon…until I snapped out of it yet again and backed up with my head on a swivel, angrily questioning them. 

That’s when I caught (Dave) behind me, quickly hiding his hands. 

-

Now I’m on survival mode and it feels like I can’t even make a step without risking my soul, literally. Each step mattered. 

It's at this point that I can feel that I’m being made a fool out of, but of course they gaslight me and try to calm me down.

I still didn’t want to believe I was in this kind of mess, but I’d be a fool to let all of that slide so easily. I couldn't keep lying to myself, as bad as I wanted to.

-

So with caution, I’m trying to plan my escape - playing dumb, but my body is getting heavier by the second too.

She then lifts her speaker and says “listen to these different frequencies, it can change your mood.”

I really wasn’t trying to, because I needed to leave and I didn’t trust her at all now. Especially not with anything sound related.

Then out of nowhere, I hear a distorted garble come out of the speaker and hit my ear.

-

I  asked “what the fuck!?”

Then (Dave) was responds with “oh, you heard that...?”

I looked away and acted oblivious not knowing how I'm going to get out of this, because I felt that if they knew I could hear that, they’d bring out the big guns.

-

(Dave) laughed, saying to Robin “wait, he still don’t know what this is yet?”

Unintentionally, or intentionally letting me know what it was. 

So I tried to leave and they started laughing because the door needed a key fob in order to get to the elevators. They kept suggesting I have a seat, trying so hard to keep me there.

-

(Dave) said “you already ‘bouta do it, it’s better this way anyway.”

Then he was like “look at my hands, this shit trippy, right?”

Followed by him creating an infinity symbol with his waving hands. 

Now this infinity symbol was made of light and floating in mid-air in front of him after he did it. I even looked at it from the side to confirm that it was real.

Right after that, he did the Baphomet pose, flipping his hands and head perfectly in a stiff dance.

Which then caused me to see it’s true form in my minds eye, with a heavy vibration. Another attempt at making me slip, as I try to keep my reality gripped.

-

Once I can see them again, it’s like time stood still and only I could move. 

I’d look around and they’d be frozen. 

At this time, I can hear them having two simultaneous conversations. 

Although, all I caught was (Dave) say “he can’t hear us in this plane.”

-

Then as he slowly got up, it like I was tuning through a radio, I hear a screeching static clear up. The sound then becomes like an electronic bleating and bellowing from a goat, in-sync, surrounding him.

-

This was the moment I became a part of their their collective conscious conversation - essentially telepathy.

Then they began letting me know who they were. Saying that they were angels, that they were around before us and that I can be like them.

-

The whole time they were talking to me, they were trying to weaken and hypnotize me with hand signs - trying to convince me to let go. Thing is, when they did try to convince me, they’d always talk around the subject at hand...but once you know what the subject is, the situation becomes clear. 

-

A lot of people might think they’d get physical and get out of there. I just don’t think they’d understand how it is fighting sleep paralysis, awake. 

I also knew that one false move would take me to the ‘sunken place.’

-

I knew I couldn’t just stand there though. But right before I grab the door to get to the elevator, (Dave) says “okay, you gon’ be waiting on that elevator forever; this is a REAL trip…c’mon, I thought you liked this shit, right?” 

Mockingly he asked “yeah, I guess you gon’ think twice about taking LSD again huh?”

-

I was thinking in my head “fuck, did I really just lose my soul? Is this how it happens to people? Is this where it all ends for me?”

I thought that was it, so I was about to give in and accept the offer - see what benefits I could get, if any. I figured living a worldly lifestyle would be better than dying immediately.

-

Then from there, every time we almost sealed the deal, I would feel a hungry fire approach me from behind. Almost like a burning lick.

The one time I decided to look for where it was coming from, I got a vision with an glowing orange blur in it - slowly materializing, until I could make something out of it. Then with the bit that I saw, I knew it was me being swallowed by fire and not dying. 

-

Immediately after, almost as if I had touched the flames themselves, I yelled in confusion “What? No! Yeshua Hamashiach is my Lord and Savior!”

To which (Dave) nonchalantly responds “okay, you do that...that [N-word] died a long time ago.” 

I sharply look at him with disgust and continued my prayer.

Mentioning to God that He promised He would never abandon His children if they encountered evil and that if there was a way for Him to save me, to do it.

-

Dave says that I’m blowing his trip and leaves to the gas station.

I could’ve left then and there, but I still didn’t want to be alone in an elevator with him. There's no telling what he has under his sleeve or how I might react in while in there.

-

So as I’m praying, I begin to feel the dark hold they had on my heart loosen up. It was like my heart was pumping physical light throughout my body, then all around it. I could feel the forcefield - the LORD had arrived and I could move my body freely. No more fear in taking the wrong step.

-

So on (Dave’s) way back, (Robin) announces it and says let’s go downstairs and get him. That’s when I hear (Dave) say - not yell, “open up” from all the way downstairs and I was amazed...I asked myself “wait, can he still hear me?” 

With him responding “DUH! Damn, you some shit!” and continued on his way. Then it all came to me, I'm sure hidden witches and warlocks communicate like this whenever they encounter one another. Whether it be at parties, art shows or even churches...a fleeting thought, but a concrete one nonetheless.

-

So back to us going to get (Dave) - if I was to leave, this was going to be my chance.

In the elevator she tries enchanting me again, but I rebuked every attempt. She seemed so confident with a huge smile, as if she already won the battle. 

But I’m trying to maintain focus the best that I can, so I don’t slip - which made this elevator ride unnecessarily more intense than it needed to be.   

-

Once the elevator door finally opens, I see (Dave’s) silhouette behind a thick glass rail, carrying an ominous slouch. 

Walking towards me, he notices that I’ve calmed down. I guess he expected me to be spazzing out, screaming about devils and spirits...I already knew how that would make me look though. So when he sees my face, he smiles and asks “oh, you’re good now?”

I guess he assumed the process was complete...

-

Instead, I replied “yeah, I’m not with this goofy shit y'all got goin' on”

So as I’m walking towards the exit, he yells “that’s not the way out!”

To where I respond “fuck y’all!”

-

You would’ve thought I opened the door before touching it, the way I left out so fast. 

As that door closed, I did a little jog to get across the street. 

But a few seconds later, I feel this tingle in the back of my brain (specifically the medulla oblongata), as though it had neck hairs that stood up. 

I look over my shoulder and noticed he decided to follow me…of course. Shortly after I noticed him - with that bull-like slouch, he started to run. 

-

Now I was a little ahead of him, so I didn’t start running yet. I had to make sure I knew where I was going before exerting my energy.

Every time I moved my head, I could feel the tingle coming from his direction like a compass always pointing North. 

So there was no losing him, at least not easily - but I am fast.

-

I couldn’t call a ride because my phone was dead and I couldn’t go to anyone’s house at the time, because it was around 5am.

As (Dave) got closer, I felt my vision going black and my body getting heavy again. A lot stronger this time…time to kick it into high gear.

-

Once it clicks into my head that the easiest place to catch a taxi in such a heated moment would be in Adams Morgan, an opportunity presented itself.

-

Ahead of me was a crosswalk and the orange hand was counting down it’s last seconds. Everything I ever learned told me I wasn’t going to make it, but I wasn’t going to stop running either.

-

So when my foot lands off the sidewalk, is when the cars to my left and right begin to move. 

That’s when everything moved in-slow-motion…and a burst of energy launched me across the street. I saw that moment like a painting in my mind. Sweat with streetlight reflections, my hair slightly messy, clothes moving with the wind, chain dancing and molecular debris falling from my shoes. 

-

That moment bought me time because the cars acted as a barrier as soon as I made it, so he was stuck across the street for a little bit. But he didn't give up. This is when I start hearing scribbly garbles rolling and jumping off of buildings and into my ear “you acting like a lil bitch - come back!”

Perfectly delivered as if he was next to me…I look behind me and it’s like he hasn’t broke a sweat. Completely focused, but still plenty of distance.

-

From the gas station diagonal to the 9:30 Club (where Robin lives), to the McDonald’s in Adam’s Morgan...

My body wanted to give out most of the way, but soul wouldn’t allow it.

I just had to keep running until I found a taxi - which I did. I was going to live to tell the tale; I had to.

-

That’s when Dave caught up, yelling “you look like a unk right now!” 

Because 4 taxis stopped for me coming from each direction in that intersection.

To where I respond “I don’t give a fuck, I made it out and you mad as shit!” 

I get in the car and tell the taxi driver to head towards Maryland. I’ll give him the address on the highway.

-

Finally, after surviving a living nightmare, I made it home. 

I went to my room, played some worship music, got on my knees and wrung myself out of tears to the Lord.

-

Unable to sleep because I knew they could contact me in my dreams.

So I didn’t rest until the drug wore off, which was on the next day in the afternoon…

I even felt that burn on my back as if it was sunburn for the next couple of weeks after.

-

I’m so grateful to still be alive and myself, because I’m 100% positive I’d be in Hell (with something else in my vessel) if I didn’t call on God that night.

It was like I was tiptoeing on a needlepoint to keep my soul.

-

Since then, I've been learning a lot more to keep myself more spiritually fortified and spreading my experience in hopes of leading others into a life of light into the hands of the Lord. I hope this story can do something positive for whoever comes across it, so feel free to share to those you love. God bless you.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Songs of the Summer, 2023: Honorable Mentions

[intro & rules]

Allergy – G-IDLE

I like this more than I want to, and that’s mostly because of how catchy that chorus is--it almost makes up for the messy production, but not quite. But I have a feeling this is one of the songs I'll remember the summer by, given how many times I've listened to it--so "Allergy" deserves a place here!

Cool With You – NewJeans

It’s not boring, it’s PEACEFUL!! You just don’t understand me!! *stomps off to my room*

Dance the Night – Dua Lipa

This was my last cut from the official list, actually. It’s mostly a wrong place, wrong time thing--"Dance the Night" would have been THE song last summer, but this summer I’m just kind of like, “Huh, that’s pretty cool, I guess.” 

Estúpida Mentira — Ringo Galperin

Beat of the summer! Outside of that beat, there’s not much else going on with this song, but it’s MY good-texture anthem and you can’t take it away from me!!

Fast Forward – Jeon Somi

Meh, the formula works on me. I love it, I love it, I love it. I could listen to boring club music from a performer like Somi all day. 

Lemon Black Tea // Taxi – Jo Yuri

More good-texture anthems… at least one of these two would have been on the main list if the album had come out earlier in the summer. Maybe “Lemon Black Tea” will be on my Songs of the Year list in January, once I’ve had more time with it! That title alone is worthy of a spot. 

Madeline – Limelight

Obligatory tropical house!! I'm still not sick of tropical house--leave me ALONE. *giggles* This is just so, SO good though, with beautiful performances from the members. After this one AND “Eye to Eye”, I have high hopes for Limelight. 

Sunshine Baby – The Japanese House

“Sunshine Baby” is awesome! … I think? I don’t know, give me two and a half years to get back to you on that--that’s how long I took with the similarly-gloomy “Dionne” (which I now think is her best song), so…

Wicked Love – Yena

Obligatory Yena! I mean, she sounds GREAT in this style of song (I think I called it a top-tier Red Velvet bside back when it first came out), but I have to admit that “Wicked Love” is mostly just here because of how much I’ve liked Yena's previous releases. She’s my favorite of this generation of soloists, and I love the distinctive persona she's built with her discography!  

Zero (J.I.D remix) – NewJeans

This is a VERY begrudging addition; I couldn’t avoid it, though, because of just how much I’ve listened to “Zero” in the past few months. The production on this remix is gorgeous, especially that future bass in the chorus, but even considering how muted the rest of my listening this summer was, I find SO MUCH of this song SO BORING that I really can’t explain why it was so huge for me this summer. 

Air Force One – Odd Eye Circle // None of My Business – Itzy

These sound like fall songs to me, not summer ones, so it feels weird including them here, but I want to at least shout them out, since they were both released this summer!  

[these two were released in early may, but close enough to summer to be songs of the summer for me, anyway]

Kaze – Younha

Younha performs soft songs so well. This is two summers in a row where she’s blown me away with some random understated acoustic track. “Kaze” isn’t quite as wonderful as last year’s “Rain Song”, to be fair, but it still meant a lot to me these past few months. 

Welcome to MY World – Aespa

This probably would have been a new favorite even without Aespa’s vocals, which make any melody a thousand times better, but WITH them, well... I think we have a new kpop classic on our hands, folks. Listening to this at like 5am while I was staying up all night to see the sunrise, just because it was summer and I could, is what finally made it click for me, so I think I’ll always associate it with the summer.

#btw i cover whatever music happens to be on my radar! #so though i usually identify myself as a kpop fan (since i'm most active in online kpop circles) #this list will include lots of non-kpop--including songs in english & spanish! #music review #kpop review #sorry about all these extra tags this is for organizing my archive lol #my fave songs #songs of the summer 2023 #gidle #newjeans #dua lipa #barbie movie #ringo galperin #jeon somi #jo yuri #limelight kpop #the japanese house #choi yena #izone yena #odd eye circle #itzy #younha #aespa

[redrobin-detective]

Half of

Danny Fenton was half ghost. Or something.

No one was quite sure what that meant exactly or if it was even true. A ghost in a pure white suit had announced it during an attack on the town until he was beaten and silenced by Phantom. It’s been three days since then and the nerd hasn’t been at school. Not that Dash was looking for him or anything.

Dash worried, for just a second, that something bad happened to him. The Guys in White creeps had been asking questions around school the last few days. There’d been a noticeable lack in ghost attacks around town, maybe another ghost got to him? What about his ghost obsessed parents? Surely they wouldn’t have done anything to their own kid...

“Think Danny will be in school today?” Kwan whispered nervously, leaning in close to Dash’s side. Talking too loudly about the elephant, or ghost he guesses, in the room got people very forcefully interviewed by the government. 

“Why the hell would I know?” Dash grumbled, shaking his friend off to shove his hands deep into the pockets of his letterman jacket. “No one knows what’s going on, Manson and Foley haven’t shown up either.”

“I hope they’re ok,” Kwan said quietly, looking down at the floor. 

“Why do you care?” Dash grumbled, harsher than he meant to.

“You and everyone ditched me for Danny when Paulina was dating him, remember? Sam and Tucker were real pals and Danny, well he’s weird but not really that bad.” Kwan said bitterly before his eyebrows twisted in confusion. “That was actually pretty out of character for Paulina to date him now that I think about it, maybe he was, like, using ghost magic to control her?”

“That’s stu-” Dash was interrupted by the usually noise of Casper High going dead silent. He and Kwan shrugged at each other. He saw Star down the hallway, staring at something. He caught her eye and mouthed What is it at her. Her eyes slid back over to the hall before mouthing Fenton back. 

“Shit,” Dash couldn’t help but mutter under his breath, “Fenton’s here.” He glanced over at Kwan, trying to hide his nervousness. “Guess we’ll find out if he’s some sort of ghost freak after all.”

Kwan eyed him for a second, “you know if Danny really is half of a ghost then maybe you’ll want to quit it with the names.” The warning bell rang for first period. “You guys have homeroom together with Lancer, right? Just, I don’t know, don’t make him mad or anything.”

“Man, don’t even joke,” Dash said with a strained smile. “It’s Fenton, what’s the nerd gonna do?”

XxX

Fenton always sat in the back right of the class so seeing him there wasn’t that strange. What was strange was that he was there before the bell rang, not looking sweaty or exhausted or beaten up. Seeing him sitting there with an almost bored expression, casually leaning one arm over the back of his chair. It was eerie, seeing Fenton try to act normal. Dash felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on his head as he stiffly walked by the nerd he usually smacked when he walked by. He thought he felt Fenton’s icy eyes following him as he passed. Dash made sure he didn’t scurry like a wimp to his seat but it was a close thing.

“Class, please stop staring at Mr. Fenton and let us begin,” Lancer sighed, unsuccessfully trying to start the class.

“Do you know the ghost boy?” Paulina asked, slamming her palms on her desk and ignoring their teacher. “Because if you’ve been holding out on me-”

“I mean everyone in Amity Park knows him,” Fenton shrugged. He’d been so chill this morning, like the whole thing wasn’t bothering him. It only made Dash more antsy. He bounced his leg under the desk.

“Can you do anything cool? Like fly or shoot lasers from your eyes?” Mikey asked, leaning forward with curiosity.

“I can do lots of cool things,” Fenton sniffed. “I know a lot about the space program and local astronomy. I draw sometimes and I’m think I’m pretty good. I also have super flexible joints so I can do this.” He grinned a little as everyone squealed when he bent his thumb back so far it nearly touched his wrist. “Of course,” his grin turned into an eye roll, “no one really cares about that only my supposed superpowers.”

“What is a half of, exactly? What that ghost called you?” Dash found himself asking. He almost didn’t want to be heard but Fenton turned to look at him anyways. 

“What do you think it means?” Fenton questioned back. Though he had a teasing smirk, his eyes looked dull and dead. Dash couldn’t look at them and ducked his head. 

“Alright, alright, enough with the questions. The Fenton’s gave Danny a clean bill of health and allowed him to rejoin class so that’s all you kids need to know. Now, back to what we were actually talking about.” Class continued as expected but everyone still snuck glances at Fenton. He’s not sure what they were all waiting for, him to suddenly turn green or sprout horn or whatever. But Fenton just sat there, still as anything, trying to act normal and it just didn’t fit him right and it was all just. Wrong.

XxX

Dash was relieved Fenton wasn’t in his second or third period classes but they did have the same lunchtime. For the first time since he was skinny, bucktoothed 6th grader, Dash wanted to hide away and eat his lunch in private. But Fenton wasn’t the only one trying to keep up appearances.

“Alright, what has everyone got,” Paulina was whispering to the table by the time Dash was sitting down. “The day is halfway over, someone had to have seen him doing something ghostly.”

“I mean we don’t know how long he’s been like this,” Star commented, flipping her hair as pretense to sneak a glance at the loser trio near the back entrance of the cafeteria. “He could’ve been hiding his for a while.”

“Fenton’s always been weird,” Dale commented with a sneer, stabbing at his beefaroni. “Since day one, he’s been jumpy and clumsy and goes through weird mood swings.”

“Maybe he’s never been normal,” Kwan said with a little frown. Now Dash knows this wasn’t true. He was the only one at the table who’d gone to the same middle school as Fenton. The nerd had talked too much about space and was always tripping over something but he’d been like all the other annoying brats in middle school. Dale was onto something, Fenton had changed once high school hit which means whatever is up with him as been going on for a while. Years. 

He suddenly felt eyes on him, a cold, crawling feeling that made his breath catch in his throat. Dash squeezed his eyes shut and breathed a silent sigh of relief as the eyes turned from him. They didn’t return but Dash found he couldn’t eat after that.

XxX

“Dude, did you hear about Fenton?” Victor said in an excited but still hushed whisper as Dash was leaving fifth period. 

“No, what did he do?” Dash asked with dread.

“He had gym last period and apparently he’s been faking his loser weakness. He crawled up the rope climb like a goddamned spider monkey and then slid himself back down. Don’t know how he didn’t have intense rope burn from that. He also beat Charlie, Katie and Veronica on the sprinting portion. Must be those ghosty genes.”

“Fenton did all that?” Dash asked, he bit the inside of his cheek. Hard.

“Yeah it was crazy, I thought Tetslaf was gonna pass out,” Victor laughed. “Maybe we should get him to try out for the football team, he’d be a great running back or-”

“Come on, Vic,” Dash laughed but the sound came out wrong. “Why would we want Fenton on our team? He’s, he’s Fenton! Just a skinny, weird little wimp.” Vic side-eyed him a bit before clapping Dash on the back.

“World’s changing, Dash. First ghosts, now half ghosts, it’s all wrong but you just gotta roll with it. All I know is I have 2 years left in this hell hole before I leave this miserable place for Chicago and never look back. I recommend you do the same, after all,” Vic grinned again but it was sharper. “Fenton’s always been your personal punching bag, not every day you learn your victim has superpowers.”

“We don’t know what the hell is up with Fenton,” Dash defended. Vic just shrugged.

“Yeah but he’s always been a freak now we know he ain’t human. Who knows what else he’s hiding?” Vic said with a smug smile before wandering off, giving a halfhearted wave over his shoulder as he left.

Dash stood in the hallway, trying to get himself under control until the warning and late bell rang. Only then, when he was certain he wouldn’t run into Fenton, did he head to class. 

XxX

“Should we follow him, see where he goes?” Paulina said, biting onto one of her nails in nervous excitement. Paulie was gorgeous and overall pretty cool but her thing with ghosts sometimes tired Dash out. Now more than ever. 

“Come on, that’s like stalking,” Kwan scolded. “Even if that wasn’t illegal or whatever it’s just not cool. They had a rough day today, leave ‘em alone.” That icy chill returned and Dash looked out of the corner of his eye to see Fenton and his cronies walking out of the school. 

Truthfully, Dash didn��t think Fenton had that bad of a day. Yeah people were asking questions but he’d side stepped them all, gave non-answers. Other people talked about Fenton’s supposed strength in gym but there’d been conflicting reports, some said he flew up the rope climb, others said he levitated doing his push ups. Dash really didn’t know what to believe. Fenton was just acting, well, like Fenton. He paused for a second, stopped walking before catching up with the group.

Maybe... maybe Dash was getting caught up over nothing. There really was no proof Fenton was this ‘half of’ other than what one dumb ghost said. He thought back to Fenton’s grin during first period; stupid nerd was probably milking his 15 minutes of fame and bully free time. His earlier fear and uncertainty burst into flames until a familiar anger was burning in his gut. Now this he knew what to do with.

“Yeah, well his day is about to get rougher,” Dash heard himself say as he stomped off to where Fenton was smiling tiredly at something Manson was saying. “Hey Fentonio! Think you’re pretty cool with every paying attention to you but I-”

Fenton gasped suddenly, like a hiccup only his breath misted out in front of him cold as a winter’s day. Dash stopped midsentence watching as Fenton’s whole face twisted. His earlier weary but tolerant annoyance that he’d been projecting all day was stripped away. He glared at Dash with an expression that was hard as ice and full of an exhaustion and bitterness he couldn’t begin to understand.

“As payment for being forcibly outed,” Fenton spoke up loudly enough that most of the school yard could hear him. “I was promised a week.” His eyes slowly but methodically scanned the crowd who had frozen in place at his authoritative tone. “Where I didn’t have to deal with ghosts, so I want to know... Who is trespassing on my haunt.”

Fenton’s mouth opened impossibly wide revealing what seemed like rows of sharped teeth. He curled his fingers into claws and, looking closer, his fingernails had indeed become real claws, as sharp and deadly as his teeth. His eyes blazed an impossible, ectoplasmic green and his dark hair developed streaks of white. He was terrifying, monstrous, but he was still Fenton. That feeling that had been eating at dash all day came back full force. Not the realization that Fenton had powers or whatever but that he had been hiding it in plain sight through ghost attacks and bullies and failing grades. This had always been Fenton, they just hadn’t seen. Until now that is.

And now the script had flipped and Dash didn’t know how this Ghost Fenton, who still was the same Fenton Dash had wedgied last Wednesday, fit. A green blob ghost materialized over by stairs, quivering and wailing in some ghost language. It turned and fled, presumably in the direction of the Fenton Portal to escape Fenton’s wrath. Fenton’s glowing eyes tracked it for a moment before he straightened up from his hunched posture and... was human again.

He brushed his hands through his black hair, lazily blinked blue eyes and, when he smiled, his teeth were normal. But Dash had seen, they all had. He’d let them see but to what end, he had no idea. Fenton turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow and another small smirk, just as tired as earlier.

“Sorry about that Dash, I take my vacation time very seriously. You were saying?” Fenton said with a smug lilt but his eyes were still dead and there was a bit of fear in them now. Despite his powers, he still gripped his backpack tightly.

“When your dumb little vacation’s up, Fentionail,” Dash said with a shaky voice. “It’s-it’s back to business, okay? Punches and wedgies and locker shoving. You,” he voice cracked a bit and he fought it down. “It’ll ramp up now that I know you can take it.” Fenton blinked, once then twice before he smiled. This time it wasn’t annoyed or scary or fearful but like the dumb grins he usually gave his dumb friends. 

“Yeah okay, we’ll start back up next week. The usual time?” Dash nodded, not knowing what else to say. “Alright, see you around.” He turned to walk away before pausing and turning back. “Actually you should be careful on who you shove into lockers, it can get hard to breathe in there and not everyone can phase out of them. You never know who’ll turn up dead,” he grinned and his eyes flashed green again, “if only half.”

That said, he and his friends walked away, ignoring the stares of the entire school on them. “Oh and it’s halfa, not half of,” Fenton called out over his shoulder. “I’m not half of anything, I’m just a whole me even if the details get a bit complicated.”

“Bye Danny, see you tomorrow,” Kwan called after with a grimace. No one else said anything for a minute until Dash found the strength to move his legs from where they’d been planted. He clenched his fists to hide his shaking and continued his walk home. Everyone else slowly did the same, talking quietly among themselves.

“What the hell was that?” Dale asked in a nervous high pitched voice. “What the hell did I just see?”

“Fenton being a weirdo but that’s nothing new,” Dash shrugged with a confidence he didn’t have yet. But if Fenton could show up to school after being outed and then willingly show them his inhumanity, then Dash needed to up his game. Couldn’t let the nerd be cool or anything. “So what if he glows or whatever, he’s still Fenton. Look I gotta get home, it’s Pookie’s feeding time and he is NOT going to believe the day I had.

#danny phantom #*presses fingers to lips* this is not the story I intended to write #not entirely sure what I did intend but it wasnt this #it started out with danny being outed as half ghost with no other context and ended up like this #i'll clean and edit in the morning but for now #here's whatever the hell this is #I'll fix it in the mornign

[luxaofhesperides]

stealing clothes

college au ft. domestic joongdok. i am so predictable.

also on ao3.

.

.

.

Kim Dokja is extremely lucky to have Yoo Joonghyuk as his roommate. Not just because Yoo Joonghyuk is the campus heartthrob and Kim Dokja is the one who gets to see him everyday, and not because Yoo Joonghyuk is the perfect house husband, cleaning and cooking because he banned Kim Dokja from doing both. 

While both those things are nice, the best part about having Yoo Joonghyuk as his roommate is stealing his shirts. 

Not to do anything weird! They’re just… comfortable.

He even got permission! For the first few, at least. 

It all starts because Yoo Joonghyuk was going to throw out perfectly good shirts that have been worn and washed enough to become soft, the type of softness that even the most high quality shirts can’t capture. They weren’t dirty, or torn, just old. So Kim Dokja protests this and tries to get Yoo Joonghyuk to keep them, only for him to scowl and throw the shirts at him.

“You keep them then,” he said, then left. And Kim Dokja did. 

He’s well aware that wearing his hot roommate’s shirts might be (is) weird, so he only wears them on long nights when he needs some extra comfort to get him through his last assignments, or when Yoo Joonghyuk isn’t home. He never wears them when Yoo Joonghyuk might see. He’d rather die. 

And because his wonderful roommate is out for the night, no doubt at a party celebrating his latest gaming tournament win, Kim Dokja is settled in for a long night of reading, curled up on the couch in one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s old shirts. It’s long enough to reach down past his thighs, so he doesn’t bother wearing pants, and a blanket over his shoulders helps with the chill his exposed collarbones bring. 

The apartment is quiet, most people out or sleeping, and the latest update of his favorite web novel is a long one. And should he get hungry, there’s dinner in the fridge, courtesy of Yoo Joonghyuk who is very determined to get Kim Dokja eating more regularly. 

It’s been too long since he was able to be so relaxed and comfortable. No urgent deadlines, no projects to stress about, no tests in the near future hanging over his head like a guillotine. 

He’s so comfortable that halfway through the chapter he’s reading, Kim Dokja begins nodding off. The living room is gradually getting darker as the sun begins to set, and he sees no reason why he shouldn’t take a nap; his sleep schedule is fucked anyways, a little rest won’t hurt him at all.

The sound of the door opening rouses him. 

Distantly, Kim Dokja hears a lock click and a heavy sigh, but half-awake, he can’t be sure if it’s real or part of a dream. 

He opens sleep-heavy eyes to a dark living room; he must have been sleeping for a few hours, long enough for the sun to fully set and the moon to shine brightly. His entire body feels heavy and slow. 

Slowly, Kim Dokja sits up, the blanket falling off his shoulders to pool around his hips. He stretches his arms up above his head, arching his spine a bit, drawing out the stretch as he shakes off the last of his nap. 

Behind him, someone chokes. 

Startled, Kim Dokja drops his arms and turns to see Yoo Joonghyuk standing in front of the hallway, staring at him with wide eyes. He’s… shirtless. Kim Dokja quickly looks away. 

“When did you get back?” he asks, trying to break the strange tension that suddenly fills the apartment.

Yoo Joonghyuk is silent for a few moments before Kim Dokja hears him step closer. “Just a few minutes ago. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was. Is it late?”

The light turns on suddenly and Kim Dokja winces, blinking to clear the spots from his vision. 

“It’s only nine.” 

Huh. He wasn’t asleep for too long then. He feels the couch dip and looks up to see Yoo Joonghyuk sitting right next to him instead of anywhere else on their rather large couch. He’s staring at Kim Dokja’s chest, which makes him shift uncomfortably. 

He glances down to see what has Yoo Joonghyuk’s attention. There’s no stains or anything…

Then his heart stops for a solid minute. He’s wearing Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirt. And Yoo Joonghyuk knows it’s his old shirt because it’s way too big for Kim Dokja! 

Please don’t bring it up, Kim Dokja mentally begs, trying to send the plea into Yoo Joonghyuk’s head. 

“Isn’t that one of my old shirts?” he asks. Telepathy has failed. Kim Dokja changes to Plan B which is Fake His Death And Start A New Life. 

“Uh. Yeah. You gave it to me,” Kim Dokja answers, hoping Yoo Joonghyuk won’t think he’s weird and kick him out. He’s not willing to give up the best roommate he’s ever had! He just can’t go back to living with the worst people in existence, who treat him horribly and steal his things. He just can’t. 

“I’ve never seen you wear them,” Yoo Joonghyuk says instead of demanding that Kim Dokja move out. 

“I don’t wear them often.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes dart farther down. “You’re also not wearing pants.”

Kim Dokja pulls the blanket over his legs and tries to pretend Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t just say that. “Well, you’re not wearing a shirt! You’re only wearing…” he trails off, finally letting himself look at Yoo Joonghyuk. Those sweatpants look familiar. They look just like the ones he thought he lost months ago. “...Isn’t that mine?”

“...Our laundry must have gotten mixed up.”

That’s a lie. Yoo Joonghyuk is not one to mix up their laundry. They’ve never accidentally taken each other’s clothes. 

Kim Dokja smiles and Yoo Joonghyuk looks away, his ears turning red. “Joonghyuk-ah,” he says sweetly in a way that Yoo Joonghyuk knows is a threat.

“I don’t see why I can’t have some of your clothes if you have mine.”

“My clothes don’t fit you! And besides, isn’t it strange for us to be sharing clothes?”

“No. You should wear my clothes more often. You look good in them.”

Kim Dokja has no response to that. He freezes, then ducks his head, trying to hide his quickly warming cheeks. 

Yoo Joonghyuk, the bastard that he is, doesn’t let Kim Dokja hide. He wraps an arm around Kim Dokja’s waist and pulls him closer, hard enough to send him falling against his side. “Stop being so shy and wear my shirts while I’m around.”

“Shut up. Aren’t you supposed to be at a party?”

“I got bored and left early. I prefer being here with you.”

“Don’t think sweet talking is going to make me forget about you stealing my sweatpants.”

“Oh?” Yoo Joonghyuk runs a large hand down Kim Dokja’s spine, making him shiver. “What should I do then?”

“Nothing!” Kim Dokja hits his chest, but makes no moves to put any space between them. He is not going to be thinking about why. “Anyways, aren’t you tired? You should go to sleep since you spent hours at that tournament. Congratulations on another win, by the way.”

Smiling, Yoo Joonghyuk leans closer, forcing Kim Dokja to bend back a bit, putting more of his weight on Yoo Joonghyuk’s arm. “You were watching?”

“I always watch when you compete. What’s the point of having a popular gamer for a roommate if I can’t brag about him?”

Without another word, Yoo Joonghyuk collapses on top of him, crushing him against the couch.

“Hey!” Kim Dokja flails, then smacks Yoo Joonghyuk’s shoulder. “What’s that for!”

“You’re right, I am tired.”

“Then go to bed!” 

Yoo Joonghyuk tightens his grip on Kim Dokja’s waist, then nuzzles into his neck. The feeling of his hair brushing against his neck makes Kim Dokja shiver, not quite tickling him but just enough to have the sensation send sparks down his spine. 

He sighs softly, and feeling it against his skin brings a deep blush to Kim Dokja’s cheeks. “I’d prefer to stay here for the night,” Yoo Joonghyuk says. Kim Dokja grumbles about being squished beneath the heavy weight of his body, but ultimately decides to indulge himself and stay. 

They stay like that, sleeping on the couch, all through the night. They both wake with stiff necks in the morning, but Kim Dokja doesn’t mind at all when it lets him stay in Yoo Joonghyuk’s embrace a little longer.

Things change after that. 

Kim Dokja wouldn’t call them friends, per se. Not before That Night. Roommates, yes. Acquaintances who get along well, yes. Friends? No. 

But now, he’s not too sure what to call their relationship. They live together so they have to spend some time together, but school keeps them both busy and Kim Dokja often spends his time at the library with Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah while Yoo Joonghyuk streams and goes to tournaments. 

It’s more accurate to say they exist in the same space, than to say that they spend time together. 

They get along well enough, which is why they’ve renewed their lease together for another year, but somehow, after That Night Yoo Joonghyuk is suddenly… sticky.

He’s constantly making food for them. More so than before. He asks for Kim Dokja’s preferences instead of just silently handing him a plate?

Kim Dokja stares at the box of pasta in his hands. He doesn’t understand why he’s grocery shopping with Yoo Joonghyuk, but he’s gone with it for too long and can’t ask any questions now.

“Did you want pasta?” Yoo Joonghyuk asks, appearing behind him without warning. Kim Dokja jumps a little, then glares at him, annoyed by how amused he looks.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I can just buy instant noodles.”

Scowling, Yoo Joonghyuk grabs the box of pasta from his hands and adds it to the cart. “Absolutely not. I’ll make noodles for you later.”

“You can make noodles from scratch?”

“It’s not hard.”

Kim Dokja would marry Yoo Joonghyuk right that very second if asked. He also doesn’t understand why Yoo Joonghyuk is suddenly spoiling him, but he’s not going to question a good thing. He’s going to get as much as he can out of this, because who knows when it will end?

So he bumps his hip against Yoo Joonghyuk’s with a smile as they walk down the aisle, and asks, “Can we get ice cream?”

Yoo Joonghyuk does not answer for a long minute, then glances at Kim Dokja’s hopeful expression and sighs. “Fine.”

He really is getting spoiled.

Kim Dokja fully intends to use this knowledge for evil.

Another thing that’s changed: clothes. 

Since Kim Dokja didn’t complain enough about his sweatpants being stolen before he fell asleep, Yoo Joonghyuk decided he could just take Kim Dokja’s most comfortable sweatpants and wear them whenever he wants. So what if he looks really good! They’re still Kim Dokja’s and he will hold this grudge for as long as he needs to. 

He intends to steal more of Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirts as revenge, except he doesn’t need to steal anything. Because Yoo Joonghyuk just leaves his shirts in Kim Dokja’s room. So he wears them and tries not to get flustered when Yoo Joonghyuk stares at him each time he walks out of his room wearing something Yoo Joonghyuk left him. 

It’s a losing battle.

On the bright side, he no longer has to hide it. It’s still embarrassing, but he’s getting more and more used to lounging in the living room in Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirts. 

The hungry look Yoo Joonghyuk gives him is also nice to see. 

Kim Dokja may be the king of denial, but even he can’t lie to himself with how obvious Yoo Joonghyuk is being. Nor can he pretend that he isn’t doing this for that exact reason, or spending more time at the apartment to be with him. 

They’re both pushing in little ways, but it’s not enough for him to be willing to push their relationship out of the cloud of ambiguity its currently in. 

Before he knows it, half his closet is Yoo Joonghyuk’s clothes, and he has to go to Yoo Joonghyuk’s room to grab a pair of sweatpants to study in because all of them got stolen. The rude bastard really has no shame. 

“Why don’t we just keep our clothes in the same room?” Yoo Joonghyuk suggests after Kim Dokja complains to him about this. 

“Whose room?”

“Mine. Just take all your things into my room. I’ll make space for you.”

And so Kim Dokja suddenly finds himself sharing a room with Yoo Joonghyuk. And then sharing a bed. And then waking up with him to his absurdly early alarm. 

They’re not dating, and he says as much to Han Sooyoung when talking about this; she just rolls her eyes and calls him and idiot for not realizing what’s going on. 

She has absolutely no room to talk, being in a friends-with-benefits relationship with Yoo Sangah instead of just asking her out on a date like normal people would. 

They’re not dating, but Kim Dokja leans into him when they watch a movie together after rejecting a party invite. They’re not dating, but Yoo Joonghyuk kisses his cheek each morning before he gets up to make breakfast. They’re not dating, but Kim Dokja will settle into Yoo Joonghyuk’s lap while wearing nothing but one of his shirts to finish a reading for one of his classes. 

They’re not dating, but he certainly wants to. 

However, Kim Dokja would sooner pass away then actually talk about his feelings, so he bottles it up, greedily hoards all the affection he gets from Yoo Joonghyuk, and hopes he makes his move soon because Kim Dokja is starting to get impatient.

In the meantime, he’ll steal another shirt and pretend he didn’t do it on purpose just to get Yoo Joonghyuk to look at him. 

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #joongdok #orv fic #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #my writing

[phr0gie]

sleep softly, love; genshin impact

synopsis: how i think certain genshin impact characters would fall asleep next to you for the first time :)

note: hihi! so i finally feel like i’m caught up enough in genshin lore that i can start actually writing for it!! yay!! anyways, i’m sorry if my portrayal of them is a lil ooc, i’m still getting used to writing for them. still, i hope you guys enjoy! :D

pairings: xiao x reader, diluc x reader

tw: mentions of nightmares and death in xiao’s, mentions of alcohol and suggestive themes in diluc’s, ooc characters, mostly j fluff, not proof read (oops)

wc: 2k 

masterlist

xiao:

the first few times you bring up sleeping next to him he’s probably going to turn you down

you see, xiao doesn’t really need to sleep, nor does he want to

he finds the idea of lying in a comatose state for eight hours in complete darkness to be “weird” and a “waste of time”

and his opinion on the matter doesn’t change for a while

that is, until you confess to him you’ve been having nightmares

these nightmares were like nothing you have ever had before

they shook you to your very core and, rather than the dream just leaving your mind after you woke up, they followed you around for days

once you confide in xiao about these terrors, he grows very concerned

in the past he’s known people who have been plagued with nightmares as a result of a dangerous curse that, more often than not, ended in death

the thought of you, the person he cares about most, succumbing to such a terrible fate frightens him more than anything — not that he’ll ever admit this to you.

and so, reluctantly, xiao agrees to spend the night with you

just this once, to protect you

You roll over to face him and for a moment he panics. To Xiao’s knowledge, couples who slept together often cuddled with each other. While he did occasionally enjoy a few close moments with you, Xiao couldn’t say he was very taken with the idea of physical contact — especially in a situation that left him so vulnerable. To his relief, however, you stay on your side of the bed. Your hand rests on top of your pillow and slowly, almost cautiously you maneuver it so it’s lying a bit closer to Xiao — a silent invitation to hold your hand, is what the adeptus recognizes it as. This gesture was not foreign to him, you did things like this often. You always kept your hand outstretched to him. Even if he were to pull away or turn his back, your hand was still there. You were still there.

You roll over to face him and for a moment he panics. To Xiao’s knowledge, couples who slept together often cuddled with each other. While he did occasionally enjoy a few close moments with you, Xiao couldn’t say he was very taken with the idea of physical contact — especially in a situation that left him so vulnerable. To his relief, however, you stay on your side of the bed. Your hand rests on top of your pillow and slowly, almost cautiously you maneuver it so it’s lying a bit closer to Xiao — a silent invitation to hold your hand, is what the adeptus recognizes it as. This gesture was not foreign to him, you did things like this often. You always kept your hand outstretched to him. Even if he were to pull away or turn his back, your hand was still there. You were still there.

You roll over to face him and for a moment he panics. To Xiao’s knowledge, couples who slept together often cuddled with each other. While he did occasionally enjoy a few close moments with you, Xiao couldn’t say he was very taken with the idea of physical contact — especially in a situation that left him so vulnerable. To his relief, however, you stay on your side of the bed. Your hand rests on top of your pillow and slowly, almost cautiously you maneuver it so it’s lying a bit closer to Xiao — a silent invitation to hold your hand, is what the adeptus recognizes it as. This gesture was not foreign to him, you did things like this often. You always kept your hand outstretched to him. Even if he were to pull away or turn his back, your hand was still there. You were still there.

“Xiao.”

Your gentle voice catches his attention immediately. As he looks into your eyes all he can see is admiration, his heart clenches at the feeling it gives him.

“Thank you,” you say softly, “for being here for me like this.”

Xiao simply nods his head at you in response.

“Sleep,” he whispers, his tone commanding yet soft, “I will be here when you wake.”

He desperately wants to say more. To let you know that he would always be there for you, that no challenge would ever be too difficult if it was for you, that he would rip the moon from the night sky if it meant that you would rest a little easier. Yet, the kind smile you give him shows that he need not continue. You know he loves you, you have never once doubted it. You are aware of the burden he carries and how it affects him. You know that one day he will be able to share with you the confessions of love and vulnerability that are buried deep inside him. For now, this is enough. He is enough. And so, with a content smile you snuggle even further into your pillow.

“Goodnight, Xiao.” You whisper before finally closing your eyes.

Xiao stares at your resting form for a while. It is not until your breathing evens out and he is sure you are asleep do his eyes flicker from your face to your hand lying closely to him. All of the sudden, an overwhelming urge to hold you in some way overtakes the adeptus. Again, Xiao was not the biggest fan of physical affection, however, something about you looking as peaceful as you do in this moment evokes something from him. And so, he decides to finally accept your invitation. As his palm meets yours in a tight hold — not tight enough to wake you, of course — Xiao allows himself to indulge in the warmth and safety you provide him, just this once.

Neither of you have any nightmares that night.

diluc:

you and diluc are in a fairly new relationship.

having just started seeing each other a few months ago, it’s only natural to not have done anything too domestic quite yet.

not to mention, our ever stoic winery owner is a bit shy when it comes to his affections.

the two of your were every content with your soft, simple touches.

hand-holding, hugging, and subtle kissing kept you both very satisfied.

until you decide to get drunk at dawn winery.

your work has been k i l l i n g you recently

commissions are beginning to pile up, hilichurls have invaded the area you were supposed to scout next, and you couldn’t help but think that you were getting a bit rusty with your weapon.

all and all, you are very stressed out.

you desperately want a chance to relax.

originally, you had planned on just having a drink or two and ranting to your ever so reliable boyfriend.

however, a drink or two turned into three, then four...

before you knew it you couldn’t remember how many you had and it was rather late.

being the gentleman that he is, diluc forces offers you his bed for the night

seeing as you were in no condition to return home on your own, he has no choice.

it’s the responsible decision.

however, he’s still very flustered about the whole ordeal

Dulic thinks you are a handful. Especially right now. 

He huffs as he attempts to open his bedroom door one-handed. The other appendage preoccupied with keeping you slumped against his side so that you don’t fall over. 

“I knew you shouldn’t have had that last glass of dandelion wine.” He mumbles, gently scolding you. 

You simply blink up at him, a bored expression on your flushed face. 

“You sayin’ I can’t hold my alcohol?” you hiccup, “I’ll show you…” 

You attempt to push off of him, but his hold on you tightens. 

“No,” he grunts, “You won’t.” 

Finally the door opens and Diluc lets out a sigh of relief. Swiftly he lifts you up — earning a small ‘woah’ and a giggle from you — and carries you over to his bed. He then sets you down and turns to his dresser to get you some clothes to sleep in. He picks out a large, white, long-sleeved undershirt and. Your lips curl into a suggestive smirk and you chuckle. 

“Oooh,” you tease, “Master Diluc how bold of you, are you going to dress me?” 

The pyro user looks absolutely mortified but you pay no mind to it, too busy laughing and hiccupping at your own joke. A prominent blush grows on Diluc’s face as he shuffles over to you. 

“Of course not!” he stutters, dropping the clothing article gently on your head. He then grabs a pile of his own clothes and makes a beeline to the door. Just as he is about to exit he turns to you. 

“Wait here,” he instructs, “and try not to fall asleep yet.” 

And with that, the Diluc dashes down the hall, presumably leaving you to get changed. You do just that, tugging off your shirt and removing your bottoms. You huff as you lift your boyfriend's shirt up and over your head. As soon as the garment falls over your shoulders and past your knees, you’re hit with the rich scent of chestnuts and mahogany — the scent of Diluc. His undershirt is so baggy and so warm that you cannot help but feel at ease, Diluc always did have a way of making you feel safe — whether it was the hand he always places on the small of your back when he guides you around town or the look in his eyes when he spots you across the room, so sure that you’re the one he’ll always search for. The red-head returns a moment later clad in a dark, short-sleeved undershirt, similar to the one he gave you, and a pair of soft pants. In one hand, Diluc holds a fresh glass of water and in the other a pillow that seems to be smaller than the ones laid out in his bed. Diluc gently sits on the edge of the bed and pats the spot next to him, beckoning you to sit next to him. As soon as the bed dips with your weight, Diluc is handing you a cup of water. 

“Drink,” he instructs once again, “so your hangover doesn’t kill you tomorrow.” 

You do as you're told, dutifully downing the refreshing liquid. The minute your lips leave the cup he takes it from you, setting it on his bedside table. Then, Diluc picks you up once more and positions you so you are laying properly on the bed. He pulls the covers out from under you and makes sure you’re tucked in well. 

“There,” he says finally, pulling the comforter up to your chin, “are you comfortable?” 

However, he does not receive an answer. You’re already half asleep, head slumped against the pillow, mouth hanging wide open. Diluc smiles in spite of himself. He should be mad at you, he knows he should. But, as you lay there with your hair a mess, wearing one of his shirts, in his bed, Diluc cannot help but fall even more hopelessly in love with you. Stroking your hair a few times, he finally leaves a light kiss on your forehead. Hesitantly, he gets up, being very careful not to jostle you. He’s about to head to his living room to sleep, but he can barely make it two steps away from the bed before a hand shoots out and grabs his wrist. He turns to see you, still snug in his bed, a pout adorning your features. 

“Where’re you goin?” You grumble out sleepily. 

Diluc looks at you curiously. 

“I’m going to let you sleep,” he whispers, “You need to rest.” 

He attempts to remove your hand but your grip only tightens. Suddenly you pull him down, your faces only inches apart. You wrap your arms around his neck and rest your forehead against his.

“Please,” you whisper, your voice soft — so soft that Diluc doesn’t think he would have heard it if he weren’t so close to you, “stay.”

The blush from earlier creeps back up Diluc’s neck and rests upon the apples of his cheeks. Hearing you plead for him like this evokes a sense of warmth within the pyro user. He’s never felt so wanted before you. Ultimately, Diluc gives in and indulges you — how can he not? Crawling into bed next to you, he stiffens when you rest your head on his chest and wrap your arms around his torso. Diluc stays up a little while after you doze off, admiring you. 

Diluc thinks you are a handful. However, he thinks he can handle it if at the end of every day he gets to hold you like this.

please do not steal or repost my work, thank you!

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #xiao x reader #xiao headcanons #xiao #diluc x reader #diluc headcanons #diluc #frog.fiction

[fireflykaizoku]

Hey!! I'm obsessed with your soulmates swap aus, really i love them they're so good i can't even explain 😭

Could i ask you one with kid but no one can really see they exchanged bodies 'cause they are literally the same? Like y/n has the same character as kid so they seems literally the same as always and it's quite a problem.

Thank you if you do, have a nice day 💕

helloo anon my love! ❤ i'm so so glad you like them! i'm sorry i took long, by the way! but here it is, and i hope you like it! have a nice day ❤

— What are you looking at? — you snapped at someone at the bar. That person was looking at you for you don’t even know how long.

— (Y/N), calm down. It’s your birthday, don’t stress trying to fight again. — one of your friends asked, holding your arm. — Just leave it.

You sighed, taking a sip of your drink. It was easy for you to get irritated and start a fight, you had quite a temper, and honestly, you don’t know how your friends put up with you. The only reason why you didn’t get into more fights, it was because of them.

— I swear, your soulmate better be someone calm. — another friend giggled. — Imagine if they have that temper.

— It’d be a chaos. — you laughed, forgetting about the fight you almost started before. — But I guess the world couldn’t handle a couple like that. I hope they’re level headed.

It was late when you went back home, and you fell asleep right after, hoping you wouldn’t have a hangover the next morning.

Your peaceful slumber got interrupted with a loud bang on the door. Since when your roommate got so aggressive? You barely had time to open your eyes, and realize you were sitting on a chair, in front of a desk, in a room that wasn’t yours. It smelled like oil and metal. What an awful time to switch bodies with your soulmate.

You knew it’d happen eventually, but it wasn’t something you looked forward to, unlike your friends who acted as if it was such an event.

— Kid, the ship just docked. — someone said. — We’ll go get some supplies and head to a bar.

— Go away! — you screamed, still in shock while looking at that body which obviously wasn’t yours.

The man had scars on his chest and right arm, while apparently he didn’t have his left arm, replaced with a heavy mechanical one. You looked at the long coat over your shoulder, the vest and his pants and couldn’t help laughing at his fashion taste. How tacky.

— What a clown. — you whispered to yourself, still laughing. — Out of all people, this is my soulmate? How lucky…

You got up and headed to a bathroom, maybe when you washed your face and actually felt awake, you could find a solution to switch back and go home. Looking at the broken and dirty mirror, your soulmate was very attractive. He had red hair, no eyebrows, a scar on the left side of his face, and goggles. He’s someone you’d look at if you saw him at a bar.

— Now, how do I find him? — you asked yourself. — Well, if he’s in my body, I’ll call my house. I’m sure there’s a den den mushi here somewhere.

When you left the bathroom, you tried to find the transponder snail. It took a while, walking from room to room, but you finally spotted one in what seemed to be the captain’s bedroom. You started calling your house, hoping that your soulmate would answer.

— What?! — the man answered. — If you’re the person who is in my body, you better find a way to switch back.

— Look, I’m not happy with this situation either. I want to go back to my body, so what do we do now?

He sighed, obviously as annoyed as you were.

— I’m the captain of this ship, so you tell my crew to come here to your island so we can switch back. Don’t let people know what’s going on, I don’t want anyone to know about that. I have a damn reputation.

— Are you even that relevant? — you laughed.

— Watch it, just because you’re my soulmate it doesn’t mean you can talk to me like that.

You rolled your eyes, hanging up before replying. First, you went to the kitchen, feeling thirsty. Luckily they had some beer. You took one, and soon enough, you found one of the crew members that stayed on the ship. You demanded to go to your island quick.

— We need to go there. It’s important, and don’t ask any questions, I’ll be working on something or whatever.

You went back to Kid’s workshop, slamming the door behind you. Being in another body was annoying. You didn't know who this person was, you were far from home, and his mechanical arm was so heavy it was bothering you.

When a tall blonde man wearing a mask knocked on the door, opening it right after, you just told him to go away, threatening to throw something at him if he didn’t leave. After that, everyone left you alone.

The only time when anyone knocked on the door after that, was the next morning, when someone said they arrived at the destination.

Finally!

— I’ll be back soon. I don’t want neither of you following me around, got it? — you asked and the crew nodded.

You left the ship, going towards your house. And when the door opened you saw your figure, which was very weird.

— Took you long enough! — he said with a frown. — How do we switch back now?

— I should’ve know you don’t understand about soulmates. — you sighed. — We need to kiss.

— Is that all? — he seemed surprised, thinking it was too easy to be true. — Then let’s kiss now!

— It’s not a simple kiss, you fool. It’s a kiss when we’re in love, which it’s probably not going to happen, so we need to figure something out.

Kid yelled, complained, cussed, and finally accepted how things really were. You two tried to talk without bickering on each other, trying to think of another solution. And after a long discussion, with you yelling at him, both decided that you needed to stay with him on the Victoria Punk until you could switch back.

The crew kept whispering, curious about who was that small person that their Captain just brought to the ship. Maybe an affair? A new member or an ally? No one dared to ask him directly, though, especially since he was in a bad mood.

Kid still didn’t want the crew to know, even though Killer was smart enough and could probably help. You spent many times together at his workshop, seeing him work while you complained you were bored. At night, you two agreed that sleeping in his room would be the best. The red haired man let you keep the bed, saying he didn’t want his body to be sick or in pain, apparently. Whenever his mechanical arm got too heavy, he tried to ease the weight or help you take it off.

Eventually, you had longer conversations with him, seeing you two had a lot in common, surprisingly.

The showers were a little weird, especially during the first few times, when he kept saying your body was very hot, making you feel flustered for the first time in your life. But after a while, it just felt normal.

It has been almost a month since you two met. The ship had docked and everyone was at a bar. A man was flirting with you, or well, with Kid, while thinking it was you. Indeed, you used to draw attention from people when you went out, and you forgot about that until a man was approaching Eustass, complimenting his beautiful looks.

Feeling annoyed, and perhaps even a little jealous thinking that other men wanted you, he got up from his sit and pulled you into a kiss. Of course, the crew had their eyes open. Who knew the mysterious person Kid brought was that straightforward, and who knew their captain would let someone steal a kiss from him.

The kiss wasn’t romantic or cute. It was full of passion and desire, it was unexpected and possessive, as if he was saying “you’re mine”. He bit your lip, and it felt like he was claiming you. Honestly, it was a good feeling, as if you’ve been waiting, without even knowing, for him to make this first move.

You felt butterflies, something you’ve never felt before.

When you opened your eyes, you saw his figure towering over you, and a grin that wouldn’t leave his face so soon. He pulled you closer, making it clear that you were his. He didn’t even ask, but your answer would be “yes” anyway.

— I can’t believe we finally switched back. — he laughed, flexing his arm. — I missed my body.

The crew gasped.

— Switch back? — Heat asked. — Wait, you were in (Y/N)’s body this whole time? And (Y/N) was in your body?

— I must say, I’m surprised. I couldn’t notice any difference. — Killer said. — You two are very alike.

At first, you two seemed offended until realizing the masked man was actually right. You two has the same personality, and it wasn’t what you expected your soulmate to be. Someone peaceful and quiet would be fun, but someone who could raise a little hell with you could be even better.

— You’re annoying sometimes, but I want you to sail with me anyway. — he said gently lifting your chin with his index finger, still with his signature smirk on his face.

#eustass kid #kid x reader #one piece x reader #one piece #eustass kid x reader #one piece scenario

[soobmint]

voices | choi beomgyu [f] soulmates! au, 14.2k words

s u m m a r y : after seeing your soulmate for the first time (whether in passing or by actually meeting them), you are able to hear their voice in your head—but only when they are singing. you have never been very interested in finding love, and choi beomgyu has lost all interest in singing. what happens when the two of you begin to change one another’s minds about the things you wish to avoid more than anything else?

c o n t e n t s : soulmates au, strangers to sorta enemies to lovers, guitarist! gyu, freckle gyu, college au, yeonjun is your best friend, gyu is a brat but a cute brat, very fluffy, a tiny bit of light angst

t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld @chanluster @honeyju​ @magicalstellar @yeonjuniper​ (if you’d like to be added to the taglist for future oneshots, please let me know!)

n o t e : this was requested by my dear friend alice, and i hope i did the request justice! the lyrics used in the oneshot are from genius’ english translation of “runaway.” i hope you guys enjoy the oneshot, and do kindly leave a like, comment, or reblog if you enjoyed it! that would mean the world!

YOU MET CHOI BEOMGYU THE DAY YOU SWORE TO NEVER FALL IN LOVE.

 As dramatic as it sounded, the day hadn’t been quite so terrible. You were sitting cross-legged in the floor of one of the many practice rooms in your university’s music department with a bag of popcorn in your lap, your head leaned back against the wall as you stifled back a yawn. Your best friend, Yeonjun, was going on and on about his most recent breakup, but the story was so similar to all the other breakups he had gone through in the past two years that you were having a difficult time staying focused. The afternoon sunlight trickled in through the windows, reflecting off the symbols of the drum set that rested in the far corner. You scooted to the side a bit so that the light wouldn’t shine in your eyes anymore as Yeonjun paced back and forth in front of you.

 “And then she just stopped talking to me,” He said, running his hands through his hair. “Out of nowhere too! Things had been going so well, but then it was weird. Next thing I know, she’s breaking up with me—get this—over text.”

 You tossed a piece of popcorn into your mouth. “Tragic.”

 “I know you’re being sarcastic, but yes, it was tragic.” He finally stopped pacing and collapsed to the ground beside of you, leaning his head against your shoulder. “Love is so hard. You meet someone, you think it’s going to work and that you’ll spend a long, happy life together. Next thing you know, you’re single and stuck with your best friend in a stinky music room, waiting for some club meeting to start—or whatever it is we’re in here for.”

 “We’re here because we are in charge of organizing the music and theater departments’ performance at the open house next month,” You corrected, flicking his forehead. “And didn’t you only date this girl for like, a week?”

 He sighed, sitting up to glare at you. “Love knows not the boundaries of time, my dear friend. You’ll understand once you find it for yourself.”

 “Calm down, Shakespeare. I am not falling in love.”

 ��Unfortunately for you, I don’t think you have any control over that,” He said with a teasing smile. “But why wouldn’t you want to?”

 You scoffed, turning to stare at him. “Well, for starters, you haven’t exactly given me a good idea of what ‘love’ is supposed to be, seeing as you’re crying about another ‘true-love-gone-wrong’ every three weeks. Why on earth would I want that for myself?”

 “Hey, love is different for everyone,” He said. “Just because my love life is vibrant and exciting and full of various names and faces doesn’t mean the same will happen for you.”

 “How do you predict my love life will go, then?”

 He hummed, tapping his finger against his chin in thought. “Well, you’re pretty boring, so you’ll probably be the kind of person that waits until they find their soulmate, then you’ll settle down and live a long, safe and uneventful life with them.”

 “Shut up,” you said as you shoved him, but you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of you. “I think my soulmate is out of the question, though.”

 Yeonjun frowned. “You still haven’t heard him since back then?”

 You sighed, shaking your head as you leaned back against the wall. “Not a thing.”

 It was quiet then as the two of you thought about what this meant. It wasn’t the first time you had been faced with the reality of your situation, but it still felt like a punch to the stomach every time.

 In a world where people waited years, decades even, to hear the voice of their soulmate singing in their head, you had been considered extremely lucky to have heard the gentle voice of a boy in your mind at the age of thirteen. You knew that you had to have met him somewhere—at least in passing—in order to hear him, but you had no clue who he was.

 Yet, in a way, it felt like you did. He sang often—so often you wondered if singing was as necessary as breathing to him. It wasn’t a bother to you though; in fact, it was quite the opposite. The songs he sang always told a story; some spoke of love and joy, others off loss and heartache. You felt like each song he sang held a piece of him, and that piece was something that was shared just between the two of you.

 Until his voice was gone.

 It was rare for him to go a day without singing. Yet suddenly, in your sophomore year of college, days and weeks went by without a single note, and you had yet to hear his voice since.

 Your soulmate had stopped singing, and it was difficult to not imagine that the worst had happened.

 Yeonjun must have noticed the solemn look that came over your face, because he leaned over and gave your shoulder a squeeze. “Don’t be so gloomy,” he said. “He could still be out there.”

 You smiled the best you could, although the pit in your stomach remained. “Yeah, I guess he could.” You tossed the popcorn to Yeonjun and stood to your feet, wiping the crumbs from your hands. “Wait here, okay? The other guy that’s supposed to be helping us is—” You paused to glance at the time on your phone, “—ten minutes late. I’m gonna make sure he knows where to come or see if he’s lost or something.”

 Yeonjun nodded, helping himself to what was left of your snack. “Who is the other guy, anyway?”

 You sighed, picking up the piece of paper that the department head gave to you when she asked you to organize the showcase, claiming that it would be a great deal of experience for you to acquire in your senior year of university.

 You were mostly doing it for the extra credit points.

 You began to read the names of the seniors that were in charge of organizing the project listed at the top of the paper. “From the drama department, Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun.”

 “Taehyun had an appointment,” Yeonjun said through a mouthful of popcorn. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”

 You nodded, tracing your finger along the page, stopping beneath the next pair of names. “From the music department, Y/N and Choi Beomgyu.” You looked up from the paper, tapping your forefinger against your chin. “Choi Beomgyu? Do you know him?”

 Yeonjun pondered for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Ah—that guy!” You weren’t surprised; Yeonjun seemed to know everyone in the performing arts programs at your school. “He’s one of the top guitar students, if I’m remembering correctly. Have you not heard of him?”

 You shook your head, looking back down at his name. Choi Beomgyu. It did sound familiar, but no images or information came along with the words printed on the page. It was nothing more than a tugging feeling in your stomach that made you feel like you knew him from somewhere.

 You began walking towards the door, still staring down at the paper. Just as the tips of your fingers brushed across the metal handle, the door swung open, and you barely had time to glance up and see a head of fluffy black hair and big brown eyes before the door crashed into your forehead so hard you fell backwards to the tile floor.

 With a hiss, you brought your hand up to your forehead, relieved to find a lack of blood there. Your eyes were blurred with tears, but through the fog you were able to see the same round doe eyes you had caught a glimpse of before you hit the ground.

 “Are you okay?” It was a guy’s voice, clear and ringing in your ears. You rubbed your eyes to clear some of the moisture and were then able to get a better look at the boy in front of you. Curly black bangs hung over his brows, brushing just over the tops of his wide chocolate eyes. His sun-kissed skin was sprinkled with a light spatter of freckles across his nose and lightly flushed cheeks.

 You blinked several times before responding. “Y-yeah, I’m okay.” You accepted his hand when he offered to help you stand back up, and soon, you were on your feet once more.

 “Sorry about that,” he said, brushing a hand through his already tousled hair. He leaned forward a bit, tapping his finger against your forehead. “Just got a tiny bump, though. You’ll be okay.”

 You backed away from his touch, but he didn’t seem to notice as he had caught sight of Yeonjun. Your best friend was quite literally on the edge of his seat, perched on the ledge of the desk while shoveling the last crumbs of popcorn into his mouth as if this were some movie unfolding before his eyes. If you had been close enough, you would have hit him.

 “Yeonjun?” Door Boy’s face lit up, and he strode over to give your pink-haired friend a high five. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

 “Hey, man,” Yeonjun said with a grin, ruffling Door Boy’s curly hair with his fingers. “I know, it’s been way too long.”

 “I’m sorry, who’s this?” You asked, still a bit dazed from your unexpected collision with the door.

 Yeonjun looked back at you, gesturing to the newcomer. “Oh, this is—”

 “Choi Beomgyu,” he finished the introduction himself, giving you an overdramatic bow as he said his name. “And you must be Y/N?”

 Things were beginning to click together in your head: Door Boy was Choi Beomgyu. In other words, Door Boy was your assigned partner—the one you would be spending the next four weeks trying to plan a performance with.

 For some reason, the fact that you had met one another by him slamming a door into your face didn’t leave the best feeling in your chest.

 “I look forward to working with you, Y/N.” He gave you a big, lopsided grin, one that any other person would likely find heartwarming.

 You forced a smile in return, rubbing your hand across the bump on your forehead. “Same here, Choi Beomgyu.”

 -

 PERHAPS IT HAD A BIT TO DO WITH HOW POORLY YOUR FIRST MEETING WENT, BUT SOMETHING ABOUT BEOMGYU REALLY GOT UNDER YOUR SKIN.

 The day after you had first met one another, Yeonjun had asked everyone to meet up in the coffee shop inside the campus library. This time, Taehyun from the drama department was also able to be there. You had gotten to know him pretty well over the past four years because of how close he and Yeonjun had become, so the three of you hung out often.

 In fact, for the first fifteen minutes of the meeting, it was just the three of you sitting there. You pushed your tongue against the inside of your cheek in agitation before taking another sip of your coffee. “Does this Beomgyu guy have a thing for being late?”

 “Relax, Y/N,” Yeonjun said absently from across the table, his attention focused primarily on his cell phone screen. “Not everyone’s a time freak like you.”

 “Time freak—What does that even mean?” You crumpled up the wrapper from Taehyun’s straw and threw it at Yeonjun. “Unlike you, I actually care about getting these extra credit points and would like to organize this event properly.”

 “Hey! I care!” Yeonjun placed a hand over his heart, as though he had been wounded.

 You and Taehyun exchanged a side glance with one another, eyebrows raised.

“Stop looking at each other like that! I do care!”

 Before the point could be argued any further, a messy-haired boy crashed into the seat beside of you, out of breath, his backpack falling from his shoulder and onto the ground from the impact. You stared at him for a moment before realizing that it was Beomgyu.

 “Sorry—I’m late,” he said in between deep breaths. “On my way here—saw one of the campus cats—got distracted.”

 You stared at him again, almost laughing at how ridiculous of an excuse that was. However, considering what little you knew of Beomgyu, the thought of him being fifteen minutes late to a meeting because he got distracted by a cat didn’t seem all that unlikely. With a sigh, you slid a blank piece of notebook paper towards him and set a pen on top of it. “It’s all good. Mind taking notes?”

 He nodded—a bit too enthusiastically, if you were to say so yourself. “Sure. Can I grab a coffee real quick?”

 You were about to suggest that he should wait until after the meeting, since the three of you had been there for such a long time already, but Taehyun chimed in before you could say anything with, “Of course. We’ve got nowhere else to be.”

 It took everything within you to not roll your eyes. You were usually on the same page as Taehyun, but of course, this situation had to be an exception, because Choi Beomgyu was there.

 The slacker was rummaging around his backpack, searching for something. He pouted, looking up from his bag. “I forgot my wallet.”

 “No worries! Y/N doesn’t eat breakfast, so she always has an extra swipe on her meal card,” Yeonjun said from across the table. Your mouth fell open, eyes wide as saucers. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind letting you use it. Right, Y/N?”

 You weren’t quite sure that you did want Beomgyu to use your meal card, but what kind of jerk would you be if you said no? With gritted teeth and a glare at your best friend, you fished your meal card out of your wallet and placed it into Beomgyu’s open palm.

 The pout left his lips instantly, a big grin taking its place. “Thanks. I’ll return the favor sometime soon.”

 Doubt it, you thought, watching him rush towards the counter to order. You’ll probably forget you said that by the time you get your drink.

 Soon he was back at the table, caramel latte in hand, your meal card back in your possession. You cleared your throat, shifting in your seat. “If everyone’s ready, we can go ahead and get started. I met with my professor yesterday—she’s also the head of the classical music department. She’s technically our ‘overseer,’ but all the responsibility of planning the performance is on us. We’ll only have about forty minutes total to showcase the drama and music departments, so we need to choose our sets wisely.”

 “Yeonjun and I were talking a bit about this earlier,” Taehyun said. “We’ve been preparing for our winter show since the beginning of the summer, so we figured we could just perform a scene from the play.”

 You nodded, liking the idea. “That sounds perfect. What’s the play?”

 “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

 “Right, I knew that. Could you guys work on finding a scene around ten or fifteen minutes long to perform for the open house, then?”

 Yeonjun and Taehyun both nodded. You smiled, glad that you were finally starting to get some things together for the event.

 When you glanced at Beomgyu to make sure he had written that down, the smile left as quickly as it had come when you saw that he was doodling tiny flowers and hearts all over the page rather than taking notes.

 He must have felt your eyes on him, because he glanced up and caught your gaze. Seemingly unbothered, he simply smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I was just about to write it down.”

 Your fingers itched to reach over and take the pen and paper from him so you could just do it yourself, but you kept your composure. “Beomgyu. Any ideas for what the music department could do?”

 He finished writing down Drama Department—Scene from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” before looking at you again. He shrugged, another nonchalant smile spreading across his face. “Not really. I’m down for whatever it is you decide to do.”

 “Wow, helpful. Truly.” Your eyes went wide when you realized you had said those words out loud after Yeonjun and Taehyun began to snicker beside you. Your face flushed with embarrassment, but Beomgyu seemed unphased, that careless lopsided grin of his still on full display.

 You sighed, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “Well, I was thinking about having the orchestra do a piece, and then having one of the student bands do a piece. That way we have something classical and something more contemporary. Thoughts?”

 “I think that’s a good idea,” Taehyun said. “If we do our scene first, the orchestra could kind of act as a bridge between Shakespeare and more modern art.”

 “I agree,” Yeonjun said. “And since Y/N is in the orchestra, she can get in touch with the director and have them prepare something. Oh, and Beomgyu!” The curly-haired boy looked up from his doodling when his name was called. “You know a few different bands, right? Think you could piece together a group of performers?”

 “Definitely,” Beomgyu said. When he noticed your eyes on him, he quickly scribbled down Orchestra—Y/N. Band—Beomgyu Me.

 “Well, since we all have our first tasks, I guess that’s all for today.” You were happy that the meeting was over; you were ready to get back to your dorm so you could get to work and actually get things done.

 “Wait!” Beomgyu said as you stood up, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

 Now you have something to say. You raised a brow at him expectantly.

 “We should exchange phone numbers, right?” He smiled, standing up and holding his phone out towards you. “I have the others’ numbers, but I figure I should be able to contact my partner from the music department.”

 You hesitated, but knew there was no logical reason why you shouldn’t give him your number. You were going to be working together for the next several weeks, after all.

 After putting your number in, he took his phone back and grinned at you again, eyes scrunching up into crescent moons. “Perfect! I’ll try not to bother you too much, but I make no promises.” He reached forward and ruffled your hair, and you were too caught off guard by the sudden touch to back away, or to even react at all. He then waved at all three of you, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. “See you guys tomorrow then.” He turned towards you again, throwing you a casual wink that still managed to have you flustered. “I’ll be in touch, partner.”

 You turned to watch him leave, face warm as you brushed through your hair with your fingers, trying to undo the damage your “partner” had done.

 Something told you that he wouldn’t be keeping his promise about trying not to bother you anytime soon.

 -

 OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, BEOMGYU PROVED HIMSELF TO BE ONE OF THE MOST BOTHERSOME PEOPLE YOU HAD COME ACROSS IN A LONG, LONG TIME.

 The worst part was the fact that he didn’t do anything blatantly wrong. He did everything he was asked to do when it came to preparing for the showcase. The first week of work consisted of the two of you gathering all the students who would be participating in the performances, along with Yeonjun and Taehyun preparing those from the drama department. Beomgyu performed all of his tasks just as he was asked to do, so it wasn’t as if he was bothering you by being unhelpful.

 It was just something about the way he held himself that seemed to get under your skin for no apparent reason.

 For the past week, your “partner” had basically been a tagalong—he would stand beside of you and do what he was asked without contributing much to the creative process of planning. You found it hard to criticize him up front, as he just did as he was told.

 However, that was all he did. When the four of you would all sit down together to discuss plans or ideas, Beomgyu’s role never changed: he would sit beside all of you, jot down anything you told him to in his nearly-full composition notebook, and crack an occasional joke that would always send Yeonjun and Taehyun into fits of laughter, but only earned a stiff, forced smile from you.

 You were starting to wonder why your professor had assigned him to your team. After all, putting on this open house was your last shot at making a lasting impression on the higher ups in your department. Everything needed to be perfect; mediocracy was not an option.

 In other words, Choi Beomgyu needed to step up his game, and he needed to do it quickly.

 You thought about this on the day of your first rehearsal, where all of the students who would be participating in the performances had gathered in the main auditorium of the music building.

 Drama students were scattered in all directions, occupying the space around them with dramatic line readings and critiques for their classmates as they practiced their roles. Yeonjun and Taehyun were busy taking charge of the drama students, making sure everything was running smoothly amongst them. You watched as Kai, one of the freshman students Yeonjun had taken under his wing, followed your friends around like a baby penguin waddling after its parents, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

 Music students were spread across the stage, the orchestra setting up instruments and covering stands with sheets filled by notes and lyrics while the band tuned their guitars and plugged up their mics. Soobin, a tall, blue-haired student from the same year as you, waved at you from stage with his mic in hand. You waved back, happy that you had been able to snag him as the main vocalist for the band’s performance—his voice was angelic, able to captivate any listener.

 “Hey.” You turned at the sound of the voice you had begun to grow quite accustomed to, whether that was for better or for worse. Beomgyu was standing beside of you, brushing a hand through the curly black bangs that hung just above his eyes. The tip of his nose was flushed pink, a sign that he had likely just been out in the biting cold that had begun to creep up as fall quickly approached. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and his guitar case held in one hand.

 “Running a little late, aren’t we?” You asked, glancing at the time on your phone with no attempt at hiding your frown. “Is this going to be a trend with you, Choi Beomgyu?”

 He laughed, nudging his shoulder against yours. You wanted to be more irritated with him than you were, but he had the kind of laugh that put everyone around him at ease; the kind of laugh that filled one’s chest with warmth, as if you had been directly touched by a ray of sunlight reaching down from the sky.

 So you settled with being only slightly irritated, pursing your lips to keep your expression in check as he responded with, “What fun would it be if everyone was on time?”

 “It’s not about fun, it’s about making sure this whole thing runs smoothly,” you said as you turned to face him. “Speaking of which, since you didn’t have any suggestions, I went ahead and helped the band choose a setlist. They’ll only have time for two songs, but the ones I picked are really diverse and should be—”

 “Ah!” He cut you off, snapping his fingers in front of your face, causing you to flinch back in surprise. “I knew there was something I forgot to tell you.”

 “What?”

 He rubbed the back of his neck, grinning as he shifted a bit closer to you. You could smell his cologne—a misty citrus scent that was so light you could barely tell it was there. “Well, it’s kind of embarrassing, but the professor actually wanted the band to perform one of the songs I wrote. If that’s okay with you, of course—you’re the boss, after all.”

 “You—you write songs?” You asked, trying not to get irritated at the sudden disruption of what you had planned. He had been complacent this entire time, so of course, the time he actually had something to contribute, he would be messing up what you had already set in place.

 “Well, if it’s a suggestion from the professor, I can’t just deny you permission, can I?” You said with a forced laugh. “Do you have the—”

 “Sheet music?” He finished your sentence, shaking a stack of papers in front of you. “Right here, partner. Want me to go tell the band?”

 You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Sure. Just tell them to switch the second song I had picked out with this one.”

 He smiled at you again, ruffling your hair with the same hand he held the papers in. “You’re a saint. I’ll talk to you in a bit then?”

 You had no time to respond before he was setting off towards the stage to talk to the band, papers and guitar in hand. You huffed through pursed lips, mumbling under your breath as you tried to put your hair back in place.

 “What was that all about?” You dropped your hands to your sides when Yeonjun approached you, eyebrow quirked. Half of his cotton-candy colored hair was pulled into a ponytail, and he had on a pair of big round glasses with what you knew to be fake lenses—a fashion statement rather than a necessity.

 “I don’t think Beomgyu knows much about personal boundaries or personal responsibility,” you mumbled, allowing Yeonjun to come up and finish fixing your hair with his fingers. “He decided to just now tell me that our professor wanted the band to use one of his songs in the performance.”

 “What’s wrong with that?”

 “Nothing’s wrong with it, I just—” You hesitated, unsure of how to respond without sounding like a jerk. “I just wish he would have told me about it sooner. That’s all.”

 “Y/N, you need to cut the guy some slack,” Yeonjun said, stepping back once he was finished fixing up your hair. “You act as though you have a personal vendetta against him or something.”

 “I do not,” You argued, feeling you defenses flare up at his words. “Why would you say that?”

 “I don’t know, maybe because every time he walks in the room you start to grimace, and every time he talks to you I can literally feel the amount of energy it takes for you to not roll your eyes.”

 “You’re exaggerating.”

 “If you say so.” He put his hand on your shoulder, giving you a stern look that did, in fact, make you roll your eyes. “Give him a chance, Y/N. You may end up liking him more than you’d expect.”

 You scoffed as your best friend walked away from you, returning to work on his previous tasks with Taehyun. A vendetta? Was it really that obvious to the people around you that Beomgyu got under your skin?

 Perhaps Yeonjun was right—you did have a tendency to be extra sensitive when it came to your academic responsibilities. Maybe you were being too hard on Beomgyu; his goal was the same as yours, even if his methods differed drastically from yours.

 You looked up to the stage to see Beomgyu laughing as he said something to Soobin, the rest of the band analyzing the sheets of music in their hands—Beomgyu’s song, if you had to guess. His skin glowed like honey beneath the stage lights, and you noticed that when he laughed, he laughed with his entire body; his eyes disappeared into crescents, his shoulders shook, he clapped his hands together and even stomped his feet a bit. You smiled slightly at the sight, before a pang of guilt hit you.

 He did seem like a nice guy. It was time you gave him a chance to be seen as such in your eyes.

 -

 ANY PATIENCE YOU HAD DESPERATELY TRIED TO HOLD WITH BEOMGYU WAS WEARING THIN, AND IT HAD ONLY BEEN AN HOUR SINCE YOU DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

 You had both stayed behind with Yeonjun and Taehyun to clean up the auditorium after the practice. “I think that we’re done, don’t you?” You asked everyone after picking up a few discarded sheets of paper left behind by the drama students.

 “Almost,” Beomgyu said from the stage. You looked up at him to see him pointing at two large music stands left behind by the orchestra. “Someone left these behind.”

 “Can’t we just leave them there?” Yeonjun asked.

 Taehyun shook his head. “No, we were given specific instructions to not leave anything behind.” He glanced at his phone. “They’re about to close the building for the night, so we should hurry and put them up.”

 “I know which room they came from, so I can take them back,” Beomgyu offered.

 “They’re pretty heavy, Beomgyu. Are you sure you can carry them on your own?” Taehyun asked.

 “Yeah, it’s fine—”

 “No, no, someone should definitely help you. You have to carry your guitar too,” Yeonjun interjected, a mischievous glint in your eyes that sent sirens blaring in your head. The feelings of disdain only grew when Yeonjun made eye contact with you directly, seeming to give you a sweet smile, but you knew the expression was laced with ulterior motives. “Y/N, why don’t you carry one while Beomgyu carries the other?”

 You wanted to smack him, but that wouldn’t have been a good look for you, considering that everyone already thought you hated Beomgyu anyways. You glanced up at him on the stage to see that he had already picked one of the stands up, his guitar in the other hand.  He gave you a big grin, eyes sparkling like freshly fallen snow. “What do you say, partner? Care to give me a hand?”

 You pushed your tongue against the inside of your cheek, knowing that there was no way you were getting out of this one. “Sure,” You said through your teeth, glaring daggers at Yeonjun before making your way up the steps to the stage. The music stand wasn’t too heavy, so you almost dared to ask Beomgyu to try carrying them both in one hand, but decided against it.

 “We’ll go ahead and leave then,” Yeonjun said, throwing a taunting wink your way. “You two have fun.”

 You hate to bite your tongue to keep from cursing at him as Yeonjun and Taehyun left the auditorium, leaving you alone with Beomgyu for the first time. You glanced his way, noticing that he already had his eyes on you. Instead of averting his gaze when yours met his, he just smiled wider, gesturing towards the door with his head. “Shall we?”

 You forced another smile. “Lead the way, partner.”

 You followed him out the doors and up the stairs to the first floor, where the orchestra’s practice room was located. You were very familiar with the area, being a violinist yourself. When the two of you reached the room, you rushed forward to open the door, as Beomgyu’s hands were full. He thanked you and stepped inside first, and you followed suit, letting the heavy door swing shut behind you.

 “Where should we set them?” He asked.

 You nodded to the far corner of the room. “Over there.”

 The two of you set the stands down, and you instantly turned back towards the door, ready to get back to your dorm for some alone time after such a taxing day.

 “In a rush?” Beomgyu asked from behind you.

 You turned to look over your shoulder at him as your hand grasped the doorknob. “Nah, just tired. Aren’t you?”

 He shrugged, shifting his guitar case from one hand to the other. “Not really.”

 “Lucky you,” You mumbled, turning back towards the door. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow—”

 You stopped mid-sentence, heart dropping to your toes. When you tried to turn the knob, it wouldn’t move. After a moment of shock, you tried again, and then again, violently shaking the knob, trying to get the door to open.

 “No, no, no,” You said, shaking the handle desperately. “Come on, this can’t be happening!”

 “What is it?” Beomgyu asked, setting his guitar on the floor before rushing to your side.

 “The door won’t open.” You shook the knob more frantically than ever, the entire door shaking from the force.

 “Woah, easy there, partner,” Beomgyu said, gently placing his hand on your arm. “Why don’t you let me try to—”

 “What exactly do you think you’re going to be able to do differently?” You snapped, snatching your arm away from him. His mouth hung open, eyes wide with what you assumed to be shock. “We’re stuck in here, Beomgyu. We’re stuck, and we’re not going to get out for god knows how long, and with you as my ‘partner,’ I’m one hundred percent certain we’re not going to be able to find a way out of here on our own.”

 You could tell that your words struck a nerve with him by the way his shoulders tensed and how his eyes went narrow. Looking back, you wished you could reel the words back in, but they had already done their damage.

 “Why do you hate me so much?” He asked, his voice low and thick with irritation.

 It was your turn to be shocked. “What?”

 “I said, why do you hate me so much?”

 You blinked rapidly, feeling exposed and vulnerable now that he was confronting you. “I don’t—I don’t hate you, Beomgyu.”

 He scoffed, pulling his bottom lip under his teeth. “Come on, I’m not that much of an idiot. This entire time, from the moment we first met, you’ve been cold and snippy with me. You can barely hide how much you dislike me with your facial expressions. I thought maybe we just got off on the wrong foot, so I’ve been brushing it off and treating you kindly. But you still treat me like I’m some annoying fly that you can’t quite get rid of, and I want to know why.”

 “That’s not—I don’t hate you,” You repeated, jumbling your words together as you struggled to figure out what to say.

 “Well, what’s the issue then?”

 “You don’t take anything seriously!” Your voice wasn’t quite a shout, but it was almost there. Beomgyu took a step back, arms dropping to his sides.

 “You’re treating this entire thing like it’s an elementary school play,” You continued, your voice getting louder and your words coming out more and more rushed the more you spoke. “You don’t contribute in the meetings, you show up late, and you barely do the things I ask you to do. I understand it may not be anything special to you, but this is my last chance to do something memorable here. I’m graduating in the spring, and up until this point, I’ve been nothing but another violinist tossed in the orchestra. I don’t stand out to my professors, or to scouts, to anyone.”

 Hot tears began to well in the corners of your eyes as thoughts of your mother surfaced. Every word she had ever said about your pursuit of music being a waste of time, of how little a chance you had of making it, how your only hope was to stand out in the department, which, of course, she highly doubted you would be capable of doing.

 “I have to do this, and I have to do it right.” Your voice wavered as you swiped at your cheeks, where a few tears had fallen. “If I don’t, then I’ll—I’ll—”

 “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Beomgyu’s voice was gentle, in stark contrast to the razor-sharp tone he had held just seconds before. You looked at him through your teary eyes to see that his own eyes were wide, this time with concern rather than anger. “You don’t have to explain, I understand, okay? I’m sorry, Y/N.”

 You sniffed, more tears gliding down your cheeks as you did so. “What?”

 “I’m sorry,” He repeated, looking as though he were about to start crying himself. “I had no idea that’s how I was coming across. I’m really, really sorry.”

 You stared at him, dumbfounded. How were you supposed to respond to that? The last thing you expected to hear from him was an apology, especially since, now that you had yelled at him, you realized how unfair you were being towards him. You shook your head, wiping furiously at your eyes. “No, you don’t have to apologize Beomgyu. I should be apologizing—I’m the one being irrational, not to mention I’m also the one that locked us in here—”

 “How about we just call it even then, hm?” He cut you off, looking around before he spotted a box of tissues on the front desk. He grabbed one and made his way back over to you, gently wiping the tears from your face, being careful to not touch you directly. “We’ve both apologized for something that the other person doesn’t think requires an apology. The grounds are neutral now.”

 You laughed, gently taking the tissue from his hand so you could wipe your eyes on your own. He stepped back when you did so, smiling nervously at your sudden laughter.

 “Thank you, Beomgyu,” You said quietly, wadding the tissue up in your hand.

 He rubbed the back of his neck, rocking back and forth on his feet. “No need to thank me, Y/N.” He paused, seeming to be in deep thought. It was quiet for a moment before he stuck his hand out towards you, expression cautiously hopeful. “Now that we both understand each other a little better, do you think we could start over?”

 You smiled, wrapping your hand around his to give it a firm shake. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

 -

 THE WORLD ALWAYS SEEMED COLDER WHEN YOU WERE ALONE.

 Of course, it could have felt cold because you were alone in a hotel parking lot, sitting on the cool pavement in the late hours of the night. You hadn’t brought a jacket with you, and your dress was sleeveless and made of thin fabric that didn’t do much to protect you from the wind that sent strands of hair flying across your face.

 However, you were certain that if your mother or father had been sitting beside of you that early winter’s night, you would barely even notice the bite of the wind or the goosebumps that prickled up all over your bare arms. Even the stars had denied you their company; the sky was pitch black, void of any trace of light.

 Lower lip trembling, you sighed as you kept your gaze on the sky above, thinking that maybe, if you kept looking, you’d find a single star shining amidst the darkness. Tears filled your eyes, but you wiped them away before they could fall.

 “You’re a strong girl, Y/N,” Your mother would say if she were to catch you crying. “Strong girls don’t cry, do they?”

 “No,” You whispered, even though she wasn’t there to hear you. “Strong girls don’t cry.”

 “What do you mean?”

 You jumped at the sudden voice, placing your hand over your heart before you turned your head to see a boy sitting on the pavement beside you. He had curly black hair that stuck out from beneath a beanie, covering the top of his eyes, and a big jacket on over his clothes. He seemed to be the same age as you, but of course, you couldn’t be sure.

 “W-what?” You spoke through shaking lips, pulling your arms around yourself in an attempt to stay warm.

 “You said that strong girls don’t cry,” He said, eyeing you with curiosity. “What do you mean by that?”

 “Oh,” you whispered, looking down at your shoes—a pair of black flats with scuff marks all over the toes. “It’s nothing— just something my mom says.”

 He hummed, leaning back on the palms of his hands. “Well, I think she’s wrong. Everyone cries, even the strongest people alive. If someone tells you they don’t cry, then they’re lying.” He turned towards you, a big grin on his face. “You don’t seem like a liar to me.”

 You sniffled, wiping your hand across your cheeks to catch the few tears that had managed to slip down. “Thanks, I think.”

 “It was definitely meant as a compliment.” He sat up straight then, narrowing his eyes at you. You shrunk back a bit, shoulders shaking as the wind only seemed to get stronger by the second.

 A moment later, he was sitting right beside of you, so close that his arm brushed against yours as he slipped his coat off, revealing an oversized hoodie beneath it. He wrapped the coat around your shoulders, and zipped it up, trapping your arms inside. He smiled again and sat back, but he was still close to you, so close that your shoulders were pressed together and his pinky was resting on top of yours.

 Eyes wide, you slowly shook your head and slipped your arms through the sleeves so you could reach the zipper. “No, I’m okay—”

 “Hey, keep it on, please,” He interrupted, placing his hand on top of yours to stop you from unzipping the coat. “It’s freezing out here, and you don’t even have any sleeves.”

 You hesitated, not wanting to be a bother to this unexpectedly kind stranger, but you would have been lying if you had said that the cold wasn’t starting to bother you. Not wanting your lips to turn blue, you nodded, pulling your arms back into the coat to keep them extra warm.

 “Thank you,” you said quietly. “What are you doing out here, by the way?”

 “Me? Oh, I was just sneaking out to the indoor pool.” He pointed over his shoulder at the building with a large dome roof made of glass. “My parents are already asleep and didn’t notice me leave. You?”

 “Ah, well, my family is staying here for the night. My parents and I are going out for dinner to celebrate my birthday.”

 “It’s your birthday?” He asked, eyes growing wide. You nodded sheepishly and his smile grew bigger before he reached over to ruffle your hair with his hand. “Happy birthday!”

 You giggled, smoothing your hair back down when he pulled his hand away. Your eyes met his, which seemed to sparkle with the light of billions of galaxies, paired perfectly with his beaming smile, and you realized that maybe you didn’t need the stars that night after all, because he alone shined brightly enough.

 He looked around then, eyebrows furrowed. “But, where are your parents? Shouldn’t you guys get going before all the restaurants close?”

 Your smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared. You swallowed, your eyes drifting towards a car that sat a few yards away from the two of you. The car was running and the lights inside were on, casting a yellow glow onto the two occupants seated in the front: your parents. Although you couldn’t hear what they were saying, you knew that they were yelling by the way they pointed their fingers at each other, and by the expressions on their faces, and the intensity with which their lips were moving.

 The boy followed your gaze, his mouth parting slightly in surprise when he caught sight of your parents in the heat of their dispute. He glanced sideways at you before moving to sit in front of you, blocking your view of your parents.

 “Why don’t you sneak to the pool with me?” He asked.

 You shook your head immediately, a slight smile returning to your face. It was clear that he was trying to distract you, and you were grateful. That didn’t mean you were willing to sneak away from your parents, especially when the tension among your family was already sky high.

 “Why not?” He whined, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout.

 “Because I’m not supposed to move from this spot,” You said.

 “And I wasn’t supposed to leave my hotel room, yet here I am.” He shrugged nonchalantly, brushing his bangs out of his eyes only for them to fall right back into place. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

 There were a lot of really terrible things that could happen as a result of you sneaking away to go night swimming with a boy you didn’t know while your parents fought in the middle of a hotel parking lot. You could probably list ten off the top of your head. However, when you looked into the starry eyes of the boy in front of you, his lips spread in an encouraging grin that made you feel warm inside despite the cold, you hesitated.

 What was the worst thing that could happen? The list seemed to be erased from your head as quickly as it appeared.

 He tilted his head to the side, a playful glint sparkling in his eyes. He stood up and stretched his hand out to you, his fingers trembling from the cold.

 “Should we run away?”

 Your fingers twitched, urging to reach out touch his own. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to find the balance between being rational and following where your heart was leading. These two things did not seem to be lining up.

 Before you could do anything, however, you heard a car door slamming shut. You jumped to your feet just in time to see your mother stepping away from the vehicle before your father drove off, leaving her alone in the parking lot. Eyes wide with worry, you watched as your mother brushed her hand across her cheeks before taking a deep breath and making her way towards you.

 “Y/N,” she said when she reached you, not even glancing at the boy beside of you as she took your face in her hands. “Your dad is going to come pick us up in the morning. How about we just have a girl’s night to celebrate your birthday instead?”

 With your heart dropping to your toes, you felt the tears welling in your eyes once again, but you refused to let them fall. You smiled and nodded, wrapping your hand around your mother’s. “Yeah. That sounds fine.”

 You turned towards the boy to see that his face was full of concern. Forcing the best smile you could, you unzipped his coat and slipped it off your shoulders before placing it back in his outstretched hands.

 “Thank you,” you said quietly. Before he could say anything back, you had turned away and began walking back towards the entrance, arm-in-arm with your mother.

 “I was thinking we could order a pizza and rent your favorite movies,” she said, straining to keep the emotion out of your voice. “I’ll order the food once we get back to the room, okay?”

 You nodded slowly, halting your footsteps just before the automatic doors that led inside.

 But when you turned your head to catch one last look at the boy who shined brighter than the stars, he was already gone.

 -

 IN THE HAZY PLACE BETWEEN SLEEPING AND WAKING, YOU COULD HAVE SWORN YOU HEARD HIM SINGING.

 With your eyes still closed, the sound rang through your head, clear as day. It was comforting, as if you had heard it before. Yet it wasn’t a sound that only echoed around you. This voice, so gentle and sweet that it seemed to drip with sugar and honey, filled all of your senses to the brim. You weren’t just hearing it, you were feeling it.

 “In moments like those, when tears fill your eyes, hold my hand tight. Should we run away?”

 You sighed, swept away by the sound and the words that the voice sang. You felt as though you had heard it before, but you couldn’t quite think of where. Snuggling closer to whatever it was that you were leaning against, you allowed the faintest of smiles to trace its way across your lips.

 The singing stopped. “Y/N?”

 “Hmm?” You pressed your face closer against the warmth you were leaning into, frowning at the sudden absence of the soothing voice.

 “Are you awake?”

 “Yeah,” you mumbled, slowly forcing your eyes open.

 You weren’t quite sure where exactly you expected to be when you opened your eyes, but it definitely was not on the floor of the orchestra practice room with your head in Choi Beomgyu’s lap. Beomgyu was smiling down at you, black curls hanging over his eyes, freckles illuminated by the faint moonlight that spilled through the windows.

 You sat up quickly, trying to fix your messy hair as you felt your face grow warm. You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you were incredibly embarrassed that you had.

 “How—how long was I asleep?” You asked, your voice hoarse.

 “Just an hour or so. I think you got so stressed out after trying to call so many people that you just passed out,” Beomgyu said. He reached his hands toward you and helped you straighten up your hair, which only served to make your face even warmer than before.

 “Sorry,” you said, gesturing to his lap. “For . . . that.”

 He waved his hand at you before folding his hands behind his head. “Don’t apologize. Seems like you needed the sleep—you were dreaming pretty intensely.”

 “I was? Did I say anything weird in my sleep? What did I say? Was it embarrassing?” You grabbed his sleeve, eyes wide as you bombarded him with questions.

 He laughed, shaking his head in reassurance. “Don’t worry, it was nothing embarrassing. But you were talking.”

 “What did I say?”

 “Hmm, something about it being your birthday?” He placed a finger against his chin, eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure exactly what else. It was all kinda random.”

 You squeezed your eyes shut, biting the inside of your cheek as you let go of his sleeve. You remembered every bit of the dream you had—well, it wasn’t really a dream as much as it was a memory. It was embarrassing to think that Beomgyu had heard any part of the memory, but you tried not to think about it too much.

 “Beomgyu,” You said, opening your eyes once more to look at him. “Were you singing just now? Before I woke up?”

 He didn’t say anything at first, his expression blank. Then, he smiled, nudging your shoulder with his. “Of course not—you know I don’t sing. Why?”

 “Actually, for the record, I did not know that,” You corrected. “And I don’t know, I just .  . . thought I heard someone.”

 “Maybe it was your soulmate,” Beomgyu said, moving his eyebrows up and down.

 You sighed, looking down at your feet. “I wish it was. I haven’t heard from him in two years.”

 The smile fell from Beomgyu’s face right away. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t know.”

 “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.”

 “Do you . . . know what happened to him?”

 You shook your head, staring at the moon through the window. “No. I don’t even know who he was.”

 “Hey, why are you speaking in the past tense?” He turned towards you and grabbed your shoulders, forcing you to face him. “Think positively, Y/N. He could still be out there. When did you first hear him?”

 “When I was thirteen,” You answered. “But he stopped singing two years ago.”

 “And you haven’t heard anything since then?”

 You hesitated, thinking back over the past two years and all the sleepless nights you had spent waiting and hoping to hear any trace of a note ringing in your ears, the faintest hint of a voice. Sometimes, when you were just about to close your eyes, you would’ve sworn that you could hear his voice for the briefest of moments before you drifted off, but you would always blame it on being sleep deprived.

 “No,” you said quietly. “I haven’t heard anything. He used to sing all the time, too. I would wake up to the sound of his voice, and it would carry me throughout each and every day. I know it sounds weird to say this about someone I don’t remember meeting, but I felt . . . connected to him, if that makes sense?”

 Beomgyu didn’t say anything, so you continued. “He’s actually the reason why I picked up the violin. I got so used to his voice, I would go around humming all day. I guess my mom got tired of hearing me, because soon after I started hearing him, my mom signed me up for violin lessons. And, well, now I’m here.”

 You looked over to see Beomgyu smiling softly, but his eyes didn’t meet yours. “Do you have any idea of who it might be?”

 You were quiet for a moment. The image of the boy from the hotel parking lot with his star-struck eyes and diamond smile came to your mind, as always.

 “No. But I have someone I hope it is.”

 You looked over at him again, and this time, his eyes met yours. The silvery light of the moon highlighted the right side of his face and the bridge of his nose, casting a stark shadow across the other side. He was neither smiling nor frowning as his eyes searched yours. What exactly he was looking for you couldn’t be sure of, however, you liked the eye contact well enough to let it go on for a moment longer before you cleared your throat, looking back towards the window.

 “Did you try calling Yeonjun again?”

 “Yep. No answer.”

 “Taehyun?”

 “Nothing.”

 “The professor?”

 “Didn’t pick up—I left a message though.”

 You sighed, allowing the back of your head to hit the wall behind you. “We’ll be stuck here all night at this rate.”

 “Well, now that you’ve had a little nap, we may as well use this time to be productive,” Beomgyu said, standing to his feet and stretching his arms above his head as he did so.

 You crossed your arms, raising a brow as you watched him pull his guitar out of the case. “What’s this? Choi Beomgyu taking initiative?”

 “Hey, we said we were starting over.”

 You laughed as he sat on the edge of the desk in front of where you were sitting on the floor. He pulled the strap over his shoulder and began tuning his guitar by ear, something you always struggled to do with your violin.

 “What are you doing?” You asked.

 He strummed through all the strings, nodding when he was satisfied with the sounds. Glancing down at you, he smiled. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to show you the song I wrote.”

 Interest piqued, you sat up straighter and smiled back at him. “I was hoping that’s what you’d say.”

 He laughed, adjusting his position on the desk before his fingers found their place on the neck of the guitar. You listened attentively as he began to pick the first notes, watching the way his fingers moved deliberately across the frets, yet, his movements never lost their grace. At first, he kept his eyes focused on his hands. But as the song went on, his eyes slowly closed, and he played without seeing, relying solely on the sound of the notes he was creating and the feeling of the strings that pressed into his calloused fingertips.

 Awestruck would have been an understatement for the way you felt as you watched him play. The way he became one with the sounds he created, the way his wrist twisted to strum and how his fingertips slid across the length of the instrument as if it was the very thing they had been created to do. You were hypnotized, allowing the music to seep into your heart and make it thump against your chest like a caged bird begging to be set free.

 If you had to put a word to how he looked in that moment, “beautiful” was the closest you would be able to get.

 He opened his eyes as he strummed the last note, a gentle grin on his lips. You noticed how his eyes sparkled in the darkness, despite his back being towards the moonlight rather than his face.

 “What do you think?” He asked, his voice sounding sharp as it pierced through the thick silence that had settled over the room.

 “It was—”

 “It was real pretty, kid.”

 You yelped in surprise at the sudden voice, jumping up to your feet as Beomgyu practically fell off the desk, nearly dropping his guitar in the process. You helped steady him, and together, you looked towards the door to see that it was wide open, fluorescent light from the hallway spilling into the room as the janitor stood in the entry way, arms crossed over his chest as he blew a bubble with the gum in his mouth.

 “If you’re done serenading your girlfriend, would you mind leaving so I can clean up and go home? This building closed an hour ago, but if you both leave now I’ll keep quiet.”

 Your cheeks went hot, and you struggled to form words as Beomgyu scrambled to put his guitar back in its case. “Girl—girlfriend? No, we’re not—I mean, I’m not his—we just got stuck and—”

 “Thank you, sir. We’re really sorry.” Beomgyu cut you off as he picked up his guitar case with one hand and wrapped his free arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. You gasped, but were too stunned to do anything but follow Beomgyu’s lead as he pulled you out of the room.

 “What was that about?” You asked once the two of you had safely made it out of the building. “You were not serenading me.”

 Beomgyu shrugged, letting his arm fall from your shoulders. Your mouth fell open at his lack of a denial. “Choi Beomgyu! Stop messing around.”

 “Who said I was messing around?” He teased, winking at you as he began to walk towards his dorm building, which was on the other side of campus from yours.

 You scoffed but said nothing as you watched his back while he walked away from you, trying to piece together what had just happened.

 “See you tomorrow, Y/N!” He shouted, turning around as he walked so he could wave goodbye.

 You gave him a weak-hearted wave in return, pressing your hands against your flushed cheeks as you slowly began to tread back to your own dorm room.

 How strange it was that just that morning, you would have given almost anything to avoid seeing Beomgyu.

 But now, you found yourself counting down the minutes left until the next day so you could see him again.

 -

 WHEN YOU GOT BACK TO YOUR DORM FROM REHEARSAL THE NEXT EVENING, YOU HAD A TEXT.

 Beomgyu: I know we said we were starting over, but I can’t forget that I still owe you a coffee. Meet me at the library in 15?

 You felt like an idiot, but you couldn’t stop the grin from taking over your face. Slipping your shoes back on, you typed out a quick reply before slipping out the door.

 You: Make it 5. I’ll be waiting.

 When you arrived at the library, you were surprised to see that Beomgyu was already there. The line for coffee was very short, as most students had settled into their dorms for the night. Only a few stray overachievers and those that were desperately trying to cram for exams were there, and Beomgyu had claimed a place in line amongst them. He held his guitar in one hand, as per usual, and you wondered if there would ever come a time in which you would see him without it.

 “How is it that you demanded to meet me ten minutes earlier than I planned, and I still got here before you?” He asked once you had reached him.

 “First of all, I did not demand anything from you,” You said, pushing your fist against his shoulder. “Secondly, that is so unfair, because you know that your dorm is way closer to the library than mine is.”

 “Sounds like an excuse to me, but okay. Ah, it’s our turn.” He placed his hand on the small of your back and pulled you closer to the counter. Your stomach flipped, but for some reason, you didn’t mind.

 After the two of had gotten your coffees, Beomgyu told you to follow him up the stairs. You expected to stop at the second floor, but to your surprise, he kept leading you. He took you through a door in the back that you didn’t even know existed, where there was another flight of stairs. At the end of these stairs was another door. You stepped outside and found yourself on the rooftop, with a great view of the campus below.

 “Are you sure we’re allowed to be up here?” You asked.

 “Well, no. But I’ve come up here a lot and never gotten in trouble, so what’s the harm?”

 “That does not make me feel any better.”

 “Come on, Y/N.” He took your hand in his and brought you over to the wide ledge, big enough for the two of you to sit on without the fear of falling off. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

 You paused, eyes growing wide. He stared back at you as he hoisted himself up on the ledge. He took a sip of his coffee before asking, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

 You shook your head, setting your coffee beside of him before bringing yourself up to sit on the ledge yourself.

 “Nothing,” You said. “You just reminded me of someone.”

 “Ah.” He stared at you for a moment longer before he slipped his jacket off and wrapped it around your shoulders. You opened your mouth to protest, but he placed his finger against your parted lips, which was more than enough to shut you up.

 “Just accept an act of kindness, would you?” He said, zipping his jacket up over you. You watched him as he did so, noticing the way his chocolate eyes sparkled in the midst of the cloudy night.

 You swallowed, averting your gaze. “Thank you.”

 “You’re very welcome. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

 It was quiet then, but not in an uncomfortable way. You enjoyed sitting beside of him in the silence, watching the lights of campus below you, feeling the warmth from his jacket spread over your chilled skin.

 “Actually, Y/N, there’s something that’s been bothering me,” Beomgyu said, breaking the silence.

 You turned to face him, curious. “What is it?”

 For the first time since you had met him, Beomgyu looked nervous. He picked at the skin around his nails, doing everything he could to keep his eyes from meeting yours.

 “Remember how you asked me if I sang? When we were locked in the orchestra room?” His voice was a bit quieter than it had been before.

 “Yeah, you said you didn’t.”

 “Right. Well, that—that was a lie,” He blurted, seeming to regret his words the second they had left his mouth. “Well, not a blatant lie, because I don’t sing anymore. But I used to.”

 You were a bit confused, but seeing how nervous he was, you decided not to ask him why he would lie about such a seemingly trivial topic.

 “What made you stop?” You asked carefully, not wanting to upset him.

 He hesitated, wringing his hands together. After taking a deep breath, he spoke again.

 “My father and I used to sing together,” He began. “I taught myself how to play the guitar, but he was the one who taught me how to sing. He loved to sing, more than anything else, and he always told me that I had a brilliant voice. He said it would be a shame to keep such a voice to myself.”

 He smiled fondly as he spoke of his father, and you couldn’t help but smile as well. The joy slowly faded from his expression, however, as he began to speak again.

 “I lost him two years ago,” He said quietly, voice thick with emotions that caused your heart to clench. “He was in a bad car accident. I was doing really well here, in vocals and guitar. But when I lost him, I just . . . I couldn’t sing anymore. I tried, I really did. I just couldn’t do it.”

 “Oh, Beomgyu,” You whispered, gently placing your hand over his trembling one.

 “It’s pathetic, isn’t it?” He sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Singing was the one thing he wanted me to do, and now that he’s gone, I’m failing at it.”

 “No, Beomgyu,” You said, your voice firm as you squeezed his hand. “It’s not pathetic at all. You’re doing the best you can, and you’re still here. And most importantly, you tried. That’s what matters.”

 He brought his eyes back to yours then, glistening with moisture in the moonless, starless night. He smiled at you then, and you smiled back.

 “Y/N.”

 “Hm?”

 “Have I told you yet that you’re really, really beautiful?”

 Your breath caught in your throat, and you froze, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. You were frozen for a moment before you scoffed, pulling your hand away from his and tucking it into your lap.

 “I thought you were going to start being more serious,” You mumbled, refusing to look at him. “Stop messing around.”

 Then, he moved closer to you, placing one arm behind you while he brought the other to rest against your cheek, gently turning your face towards his. He leaned in, so close that his breath brushed against your skin. He smelled of citrus and vanilla, and you found yourself leaning closer to him.

 He glanced at your lips, then met your eyes once again.

 “What makes you think I’m not being serious?”

 His lips were soft when they pressed against yours, and it felt as though your heart would burst right out of your chest. You allowed your eyes to fall shut as he gently moved his mouth against yours, slowly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as he did so, before allowing his fingers to gently trace their way along your cheek, then your jaw, until he rested his hand against your neck, pulling you a tiny bit closer to him.

 He broke the kiss for a fleeting moment, just to open his eyes so he could look into yours. You liked the flecks of light that beamed in his irises, as though his eyes were made of starlight. He smiled, allowing his nose to brush against yours as his eyes moved back down to your lips. Once again, he closed the distance between you, capturing your lips with his for the second time. He tasted like coffee and cheap cherry chap-stick—and odd combination, but you didn’t mind as you brought your arms around his neck and shifted closer to him, twisting your head to the side as you moved your lips in time with his.

 The moment was unexpected, to say the least. But perhaps that was what made it feel that much more magical.

 At least, it was magical until you felt scalding hot liquid splash all over the side of your leg, seeping through the fabric of your jeans to burn your skin.

 You gasped against Beomgyu’s lips before pulling away, staring wide eyed at your jeans that were now stained with coffee. Your cup, which had been sitting between the two of you, was now knocked on its side, the contents drained.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Beomgyu said frantically. His lips were shining from the aftermath of your kiss, his freckled cheeks and nose red as a cherry. He gently pressed his hands against your leg, pulling them back when you winced from the impact. “Oh god—I’m sorry, I forgot that it was there and I was leaning in and I knocked it over and—”

 You laughed at how flustered he had become, amused by this side of him that you hadn’t seen before. You grabbed his face and pulled him towards you, pressing your lips against his in a swift kiss, effectively shutting him up.

 “It’s okay, Beomgyu,” You said once you pulled away, letting your hands fall from his face. “I guess you just owe me another coffee.”

 The goofy lopsided grin you had grown accustomed to took place of the frightened expression he had worn just moments before. He hopped off the ledge, extending his hand towards you to help you down.

 “Come on, partner. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

 -

 IT WAS THE DAY OF THE OPEN HOUSE, AND YOU WERE SLIGHTLY UNNERVED BY HOW WELL THINGS WERE GOING.

 You had hoped that everything would go smoothly. The past few weeks, you had spent all your time and energy making sure that the event would be as close to perfect as possible.

 Well, you had also spent a bit of time with Beomgyu, but only when you had the time to spare, of course.

 The performers were all setting up; the drama department was working on setting up the stage props, as they would be going first, and they were busy rehearsing with the orchestra for how they could effectively move the props to make room for the instruments in a timely fashion. Yeonjun was rushing about, directing them with the grace and efficiency only he could pull off.

 Everything was going perfectly. You should have just been happy about that, but for some reason, it felt as though you were just waiting for something to go terribly wrong.

 “Y/N.” You turned at the sound of Beomgyu’s voice, smiling as he walked towards you. He was dressed in a white button up shirt that he tucked into a pair of black jeans. His sleeves were pushed up a bit, exposing his forearms.

 “Everything okay?” You asked once he had reached you. You glanced at the members of the band, who were talking in hushed voices right behind Beomgyu. Your eyes narrowed when you noticed that something was amiss. “Where’s Soobin? Is he on his way?”

 Beomgyu sighed, running a hand through his already messy curls. “That’s what I was coming to talk to you about. He’s sick—he won’t be able to make it. I just got a text from him.”

 You blinked slowly, trying to process what you had just been told. Soobin was the main vocalist for the band. Without him, or someone to fill his position, there would be no performance.

 You quickly walked over to the band, desperately trying to think of something to fix the situation, and Beomgyu was following right behind you.

 “Can any of you do lead vocals in Soobin’s place?” You asked.

 “No,” the main guitarist said, looking just as stressed out as you were. “We’d have to change the entire key for it to fit my range, and even if we had time to do that—which we don’t—we wouldn’t have any backup vocals.”

 You pinched the bridge of your nose, squeezing your eyes shut. “There’s got to be something we can do to replace him. We can’t just take the band performance out.”

 “How about Beomgyu?”

 Your eyes flew open at the sound of Yeonjun’s voice, and you whirled around to see him standing behind you.

“When did you get there?” You asked.

 “A minute or so ago,” He said, striding forward so that he stood on the other side of you. “But seriously, everyone knows Beomgyu can sing. He used to do it all the time. Why not have him take Soobin’s place?”

 “It would make sense,” the guitarist said, his face lighting up with a glint of hope. “He’s been here for all the practices—I mean, he even wrote the song!”

 You turned your eyes towards Beomgyu, worry overtaking you in an instant when you saw his expression. All the color had drained from his face, his lips pulled between his teeth. His hands were trembling, and he refused to meet your gaze.

 “Beomgyu,” You said quietly, taking his shaky hand in your steady one. “You don’t have to. We can figure something else out—”

 “I’ll think about it,” He said, eyes finally finding yours. He did his best to force a smile, but it was so strained, your worry only grew at the sight. “Just . . . can you give me a little while?”

 You nodded, squeezing his hand. “Of course.”

 He slipped away from you then, disappearing behind the stage. Your eyes followed him until you couldn’t see him any longer, worry creasing your brows.

 “What was that about?” Yeonjun asked, stepping a bit closer to you. “I understand not wanting to force anyone to do something last minute, but we don’t really have many options.”

 “There’s more to it than that,” You said quietly. “Just trust me, okay? And if he says he can’t do it, he can’t. We are not going to force him to do this.”

 Yeonjun still looked confused, but he simply shrugged. “Whatever you say, captain. But just so you know, if he can’t do it, you’re gonna be the one singing in Soobin’s place. And trust me, no one wants to hear that.”

 You fought the urge to flip him off as he walked away, wondering why on earth you still kept him around as your best friend.

 The rest of the preparations went on, and soon, the audience had begun to fill the auditorium. You hadn’t seen Beomgyu since that moment during rehearsals, and you were beginning to grow worried.

 You stood in the right wing of the stage as the show began with the drama department. You tried to focus on the performance—it was amazing, of course, especially since Yeonjun played a lead role in the scene they had chosen. Everyone knew he was an amazing actor. However, rather than being able to enjoy the show, you could only think about where Beomgyu was and wonder if he was doing alright, your stomach twisting itself into knots as the seconds ticked by.

 By the time the drama students were finished, the audience standing to clap for their flawless performance, you had bitten your nails down to nubs as you grew increasingly worried. Yeonjun rushed over to you when he left the stage, smiling widely as he stretched his arms out to his sides. “How’d we do?”

 “Hm?” You snapped out of your daze, shaking your head as you gave him two thumbs up. “Oh—wonderful. You guys were great. Hey, will you make sure everything goes well with the orchestra? I have to go find Beomgyu.”

 “Well why don’t you stay here and I’ll go find him—”

 “Nope, I’ve got it! Thanks best friend, you’re the greatest!” You gave him a quick hug before he could say anything else, quickly rushing out of the auditorium. You made your way down a few hallways, taking a couple of turns until you had reached one of the dressing rooms. You knew this was where Beomgyu had been getting ready because his guitar case was propped against the wall outside of it, so you hoped he was still inside.

 You knocked on the door. “Beomgyu? Are you in there?”

 It was silent, but you heard someone sniffle from behind the door. You sighed, leaning against the wood. “You don’t have to say anything, okay? But just hear me out.”

 There was no response, but you could have sworn you felt someone leaning against the door from the other side.

 “I know you may feel like you have to pressure yourself to do this, but you don’t,” You said gently. “Nobody is going to be disappointed if you can’t get up there to sing. Not me, not Yeonjun, not the band.”

 You paused, biting your lip before you continued. “Your father wouldn’t be upset either, Beomgyu. The fact that you’re willing to even think about doing something this hard just to help out shows just how great of a person you are. He would be so, so proud of you. I’m proud of you, too. Whether or not you get up there and sing tonight, I’m proud of you. Okay?”

 You stayed there, waiting in silence for a moment longer before you pushed away from the door, walking back towards the auditorium.

 The orchestra was almost finished with their set by the time you returned to the wing. Yeonjun and the band were waiting with anticipation when you returned, eyes wide and searching behind you, probably hoping that Beomgyu was close behind.

 “Is he coming?” Yeonjun asked.

 You sighed, shaking your head slowly. “I don’t think so. We’ll just have to call off the band’s performance, but it’ll be okay—”

 “That won’t be necessary.”

 You turned at the sound of Beomgyu’s voice, unable to help the big smile that overtook your face. You hurried towards him, grabbing both his hands in your own.

 “Are you sure?” You asked. “You know you don’t have to—”

 “I know I don’t,” he said with a smile. “But I want to.”

 He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss against your forehead. “Thank you. For everything.”

 He went up to talk to the band after that, leaving you a blushing mess. The orchestra had just finished their set and were busy making way for the band. Yeonjun walked to your side as Beomgyu and the rest of the band took their places on the stage.

 “Did he just kiss you?” Your best friend asked. For some reason, he didn’t sound surprised.

 Dumbfounded, you brought your hand to your forehead and nodded, unable to speak. Yeonjun laughed at you, causing you to snap out of your daze so you could punch him lightly in the shoulder.

 Once the band had finished getting ready, Beomgyu cleared his throat, tapping the mic before leaning forward to speak into it.

 “Hello everyone, thanks for coming out tonight. My name is Choi Beomgyu, and these lovely people surrounding me are some of the many talented musicians in our music department.” He paused when the audience clapped, waiting until the applause died down before he spoke again. “To wrap up this showcase, we’ll be performing a song I wrote myself. I wrote this about someone I met a long, long time ago.”

 He turned his head to the side then, making eye contact with you from the stage. He smiled, not taking his gaze away from yours. He looked heavenly in the light cast from the spotlight, strands of his black hair seeming to turn silver beneath the glow, his golden skin shining brighter than ever. You were sure that if you were close enough, you would see the star-like sparkles in his eyes that you had grown to adore.

 “I hope she remembers me, even after all this time.”

 “Is he talking about you?” Yeonjun whispered into your ear, noticing the direction of Beomgyu’s stare. “You guys just met like, a month ago.”

 You were just as confused as your best friend, so in response, you simply shrugged, unsure of what was going on. He was definitely talking to you, but you had no idea what he was referring to.

 “I hope she remembers me, even after all this time.”

 You racked your brain, trying desperately to think of what he could mean. Had you met him before? Did he remember you from somewhere, from a memory that had somehow slipped your mind?

 The music began to play, and you took a step closer to the stage, eyes narrowed, ready to focus on the lyrics, wanting more than anything to remember what Beomgyu was talking about.

 “In moments like those, when tears fill your eyes, hold my hand tight. Should we run away?”

 Your eyes went wide. You stumbled back, reaching up to hold your head in your hands.

 “Y/N?” Yeonjun’s voice was distant, overpowered by the sound of the honey sweet voice that filled the air. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

 You gasped, hands tangling in your hair as the singing continued.

 “Be my forever, call my name. Run away, run away, run away with me.”

 Your head was ringing. Not only were these words the same ones you had heard in your head the night you were locked in the classroom with Beomgyu, but the voice—Beomgyu’s voice—was the same one you had heard day and night while growing up.

 It was your soulmates voice.

 You knew it was, not just because of the lyrics or the familiarity of the voice. You knew it was your soulmate because you didn’t just hear the words and the notes of the song, you felt them. Every inch of your being felt as though it had been struck by lightning. The voice filled up all of your senses, overpowering you in the most beautiful way imaginable.

 But it was too much. His voice coming through the loudspeakers paired with it ringing inside your head built up so much pressure that it caused your vision to blur. You quickly stumbled out of the auditorium, fumbling your way through the front doors that led outside.

 You sat down on the pavement, taking deep breaths as your mind began to calm down. No longer overwhelmed by all that was going on around you, you closed your eyes, listening to Beomgyu’s voice as it filled your mind.

 “Don’t wanna stay, now we can go. Take me now to the magic named ‘us.’”

 With those words, the voice died down, and you were surrounded by silence.

 You simply sat there for several moments, your eyes remaining closed as you tried to understand everything that had just happened to you.

 Beomgyu was your soulmate.

 Beomgyu was your soulmate, and he was alive.

 Bit by bit, you started to piece things together. The night of your thirteenth birthday, the day before you heard his voice for the first time. You had met the boy with sparkling eyes and a lopsided grin in the hotel parking lot. He had offered you his coat, and then his hand.

 “I hope she remembers me,” Beomgyu had said.

 You smiled to yourself, placing your hand over your heart as it beat fiercely against your chest.

 “Yes, Beomgyu. I do remember you.”

 “Y/N!”

 Your eyes flew open at the sound of the door being thrown open behind you. You turned to see Beomgyu barreling towards you, practically collapsing to the ground in front of you. He took your face in his hands, eyes frantically searching yours.

 “Are you okay?” He asked, his fingers gently running along the length of your cheeks.

 You nodded, smiling even though tears began to pool in your eyes. “Beomgyu,” You said quietly, lifting your hands to hold his wrists. “You knew, didn’t you?”

 “Knew what?”

 “That you’re my soulmate.”

 He paused, the worry in his face slowly being replaced by a wide, sparkling smile.

 “So you finally figured it out, huh?” He said, brushing a strand of your hair back behind your ear. “If you didn’t figure it out after tonight, I wasn’t sure how else I was supposed to show you.”

 You laughed, a tear slipping down your cheek as you tightened your grip on his wrists. His expression changed once again, brows knit with concern. “Are—are you crying? What’s wrong?”

 “No, nothing, it’s fine,” You assured him, resting your forehead against his. “I’m just happy. I’m so, so happy, Beomgyu.”

 He sighed with relief, wrapping his arms around you in a hug, pulling you snugly into his chest. His chin rested on top of your head as you slipped your arms around his middle, pulling him even closer than he already was.

 “I was a little worried that you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me,” He said with a light laugh.

 You shook your head against his chest, snuggling even closer to him. “Of course not. You’re exactly who I hoped it would be, Choi Beomgyu.”

 The two of you stayed like that for a bit longer before Beomgyu pulled away and stood up in front of you.

 The boy with stars for eyes and a smile that outshone the moon stretched his hand out towards you, fingers shaking from the cold, cheeks flushed from your embrace.

 “Should we run away?” He asked.

 This time, you placed your hand in his and let him pull you to your feet.

#txt fluff #txt imagines #txt oneshots #txt drabbles #txt scenarios #beomgyu au #beomgyu fluff #choi beomgyu #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fic #txt fics #txt fic #yeonjun oneshot #yeonjun au #yeonjun drabbles #beomgyu drabble #beomgyu #soobin au #soobin oneshot #soobin scenarios #txt taehyun #taehyun drabble #taehyun au #hyuka #hueningkai au #hueningkai fluff #fanfic #soulmates au

[kekoma]

— ushijima as your boyfriend.

think about his man daily. hope you enjoy.

toshi just 🧍🏻“you should come to shiratorizawa.”

that’s it. that’s the headcanon.

him dating? impossible.

just joking~

starting a relationship with ushijima was odd at first.

poor boy was confused about his feelings for you and felt conflicted about it.

let’s keep in mind that his only focus is volleyball so when you began to cloud his mind, it became a bit worrisome.

you’re his friend first of all— although overtime, your ability to handle his blunt way, personality and can stand his best friend tendou became something he admired about you.

and you two spent more time together than him and tendou anyways so of course miracle boy here started to crush on you.

the way he confessed wasn’t anything cute or super romantic but A+ for being big bold.

“y/n. i like you more than a friend. do you accept my confession?”

“umm let me get back to you in 3 business days.”

“that’s quite some time to process my confession but okay.”

“toshi- i’m joking! yes i accept your confession cutie.”

vv clueless boyfriend.

didn’t quite understand the whole concept of what to do so he turned towards magazines, the internet and of course tendou.

eventually you figure this out and told him that there’s no true guide to being the perfect lover/boyfriend nor having a perfect relationship. just let things flow naturally.

overtime he listened to your advice and started to loosen up around you.

that stoic expression starts to turn into smiles— occasionally a blush appears across his cheeks due to your actions or words.

his blunt ways are lesser than before so he won’t automatically just call you out without a second thought.

toshi cares for you so he thinks about his words before saying anything since he doesn’t want to hurt you and your feelings or lose you in general.

after a few years together, he becomes a big softie just for you <3

fun fact: deadass didn’t give you any nicknames for the longest time— just ‘y/n...’ like SIR. ADD SOME SPICE.

but he came through and now calls you; beautiful, honey, angel and my world although the last one is what your name is in his phone~

ushijima + pda = let’s talk about it.

in public it’s the basic hand holding and generally standing near/next to you which he actually likes.

however just know holding hands to him is major since this type of affection makes him feel loved due to the fact that most people are usually scared/imitated by him— making him feel just a tad bit lonely and unwanted.

overall nothing too extreme.

although when it comes to cold weather szn; toshi is wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close to his body to keep you warm. you can’t even escape his hold since he has no plan of letting go until he gets you to where you need to be.

now in private~ can see him being down to cuddle and sometimes he’s even the small spoon, enjoying the feeling of your hands buried in his hair while listening to your heartbeat as if it’s one of the best bops of the century.

also likes when you sit on his lap too.

ushiwaka normally rests his head on top of yours when watching tv, on your phone/his or when he’s reading the magazine you picked up (but you better let him read those ads; you skip it and he’s flipping the page back to finish while saying ‘you can wait angel.’)

kisses. kisses. KISSES.

can literally be anywhere and everywhere but the lips— strikes butterflies inside of him instantly.

he won’t admit it to you but just know, your kisses hold power over him.

farmer ushijima has entered the chat.

definitely teaches you the arts of harvesting and growing crops.

it’s something he’s extremely passionate about it and this is another form of him bonding with you when it’s not volleyball related.

extra points to you if you know some things about farming or the tools. makes him happier than before.

going on dates with toshi may not be often since volleyball is still on the mind.

however your dates with him consist of hiking, picnic dates in the park, walks on the beach and if it’s night— makes it even better. be prepared to camp out there too just to watch the stars. lastly, long car rides together.

you take most of the pictures when you’re together and trust— one of those pictures could be his lockscreen since you look bomb af but this man would rather use hos own pictures of you he took that you deem unflattering as his lockscreen.

“i look kinda weird babe... why don’t you use that one photo we took at the pumpkin patch together.”

“i think you look very beautiful to me here so no... thank you but no.”

honest boy hours all day everyday.

could never lie to you EVER.

so whenever he tells you that you’re gorgeous, he really means it.

literally views you as a goddess/angel that he was lucky enough to settle down with.

“i love you honey.”

“i love you too silly.”

“no— i really love you. just you and i always will.”

cute fun fact: if you created a playlist for him— he loves to listen to them on his way to practice ♡

overall the relationship becomes really comfortable, you can’t ever get bored with him since he doesn’t shift schedule whenever he can to spend time with you.

now let’s say it together: ushijima wakatoshi = good boyfriend. 

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

#haikyuu ushijima #haikyuu #haikyū!! #haikyuu shiratorizawa #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq x reader #hq x y/n #ushijima x y/n #ushijima x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x y/n #ushijima fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq ushijima #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #ushijima imagine #hq hcs #haikyuu hcs #ushijima wakatoshi hcs #ushijima as your boyfriend #haikyuu scenarios #hq scenarios #ushijima scenarios #🎐.ushijima

[argylesweedstash]

did you just call me baby

(ao3 link)

The first time it happens, it’s an accident. At least, Dean’s banking on Castiel thinking it’s an accident. And it is, really. Dean fell onto the war room floor covered in black goo with his arms around Cas. Sam and Jack leapt up from the table, moving away from the intricate spellwork that no longer needed their attention.

Cas stirred a little. He’d been out of it when Dean had found him - half-lucid and mostly disbelieving. He’d let Dean pull him up and sling his arm around his shoulders, but hadn’t said much. Only mumbled apologies and words that sounded a lot like, “I hope this is real.”

Jack was first on the floor next to them. “Cas?” he asked, a tentative smile playing on his lips. Cas nodded and within seconds, his arms were full of his son.

Dean watched them, a smile playing on his lips. When they broke apart, Sam offered Castiel his arm. Cas had looked at it before taking it and being pulled into a hug by the taller man.

Dean removed himself from the floor and helped Jack up. When Sam released Cas, Dean stepped in front of him.

“It’s real,” Dean said, looking into Cas’s eyes.

Cas nodded. “Thank you for saving me, Dean.”

Dean finally closed the distance between them and pulled Cas into a bone crushing hug.

“I missed you, baby,” Dean muttered against Cas. When he realized that he’d said baby instead of buddy, he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. He removed himself from Cas and grinned sheepishly at the floor. There was a weird fluttering feeling in his chest. He wrote it off as the adrenaline that was still pumping through his veins.

Cas, for what it was worth, didn’t seem to notice the word. “I missed you, too, Dean.”

-

That was two weeks ago. Since then, Dean has been avoiding talking about it. Not just his slip, though, the things Cas had said to him before The Empty came and took him. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t feel the same way - he just didn’t know if he did or not. He likes Cas and he’s his best friend. He knows he likes spending time with him. Sometimes he’s overwhelmed by how fond of his friend he is, but he doesn’t read too far into that.

Plus, things hadn’t changed between them. They still watched movies together in the Dean Cave a couple nights a week. Castiel would always come and join Dean in the garage when he was working on any of the cars they kept. Dean would greet him with a, “Good morning, Sunshine,” every morning from his place at the table. The only thing that had changed was that they didn’t have the end of the world looming over their heads. Honestly, this is the happiest he’s been in a long time. Getting Cas back meant that they’d tied up their loose ends and now they could relax. Of course Dean had never felt this happy, they’d never so resolutely saved the world like they did this time around.

Dean is sitting at the table, now, staring at the laptop screen in front of him. There were still monsters, there might still be a case somewhere. In the back of his head Dean knows he doesn’t really want to find a case. He’s been enjoying his time with Cas and Sam. He likes that the most pressing thing he has to worry about is whether or not the fridge is stocked. He knows Sam has been getting stir crazy, though. Maybe he’ll find a case and send Sam off, encourage him to get Eileen in on it.

The sound of footsteps draws Dean’s attention away from the laptop. Castiel pads into the room. He’s wearing one of Dean’s hand-me-down shirts, even though he hasvclothing of his own. Part of pulling Cas out of The Empty meant leaving his grace behind. Jack had been pretty clear - Cas’s grace was the reason Jack was unable to just pull him out. So, here Cas is, as human as Dean, wearing Dean’s shirt. A smile threatens to break on Dean’s face.

“What’re you up to?” Dean asks.

Cas turns to face him. Dean notices toothpaste stuck to the corner of Cas’s mouth, he must have just finished brushing his teeth.

“It’s almost lunch time,” Cas says. “I was going to make myself something. Are you hungry? I can make enough for two.”

Dean shakes his head. “Just ate,” he says. “You, uh -” He gestures vaguely at Cas’s mouth.

“I what?” Cas asks, tilting his head a little.

“Baby,” Dean starts as he gets up from his chair to walk over to Castiel. “You have some toothpaste. Right there.”

Cas stares at Dean, wide eyed. Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes and grabs a napkin from the table. He wipes at Castiel’s mouth before he crumples the napkin and walks it over to the trash. Cas watches his movements.

“What?” Dean asks when he notices Cas staring at him. It’s not that he minds, Cas just looks a little lost.

Cas just shakes his head and puts a smile on his face. “Nothing. Thank you, Dean. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s part of being human, man. No worries,” Dean says, depositing himself back in his chair. “You gonna eat in here?”

“Yes, of course,” Cas says, finally moving from where he was stopped.

Dean nods in his direction before he pats the chair next to him, smiling up at his friend. He returns to his research as Cas busies himself in the kitchen.

-

Two days later, Sam is gone to go after a nest of vamps and Eileen’s place just happens to be on the way there. Dean isn’t quite sure why Sam hasn’t just asked her to move in. He’s pretty sure Sam had refrained before because Dean had been a wreck with Cas gone. It was probably better for Dean and Eileen’s relationship that she hadn’t seen him like that. But now, there was no reason for her not to be here. She was family, after all.

Dean knocks on Cas’s door, ending his stream of thoughts. Dean was kind of bored and he hadn’t taken Cas anywhere but the supermarket since they’d brought him back. And, come to think of it, Dean couldn’t remember the last time just he and Cas had gone out for drinks.

Cas answers the door already dressed. “Dean. I was actually coming to look for you.”

“Well, I found ya first,” Dean says, putting an easy smile on his face. “Was gonna see if you wanted to come grab a drink with me. Looks like you’re going somewhere, though.” He didn’t want to press, but where on earth could Cas be going? It wasn’t like he really knew anyone around here outside of Sam and Dean. And if someone they knew was in town, why hadn’t Dean heard of it?

The ends of Cas’s lips turn up slightly. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and beams at Castiel. “It’s a date, then. Give me five minutes and I’ll meet you at Baby.”

Cas nods at Dean’s retreating figure and mumbles, “It’s a date,” before shutting his door to walk to the car.

Dean meets him there a few minutes later. “Had to grab my keys,” he says, holding them up for Cas to see.

The drive to the bar passes in comfortable silence, Cas staring out the window at the passing buildings. Dean drums his fingers on his steering wheel. He glances to Cas a few times; he almost can’t believe Cas is really back. He’d been gone for two months. Dean had spent most of that time frantically reading through every lore book and the rest drinking until he couldn’t remember the pain. It had been Jack that finally suggested opening the rift and leaving Cas’s grace behind. Dean had been ready to go almost immediately.

Now that Castiel was back, Dean felt better than he had in years. A warm feeling had settled over him after they fell through the rift and it stayed around. Whenever he was with Cas he could only describe the we he felt as “content.” Like now, for example, he could drive all night like this and be pleased with the way he spent his evening.

They pull in and Dean holds the door to the bar open so Cas can walk through. “Grab us a table and I’ll get drinks,” he says, clapping his hand over his shoulder and walking past him to the bar.

He gets the bartender’s attention pretty quickly. “Hey, Lynn. Slow night?” he asks.

She rolls her eyes at him and pushes a stray strand of blonde hair out of her face. “It’s a Wednesday, what do you expect?” She gives a little chuckle and leans against the bar. “Where’s your brother?”

“Sammy’s with his girlfriend. Won’t be back for a few days,” Dean says easily. “Left me alone with Cas over there.”

Lynn looks past him at Castiel, who is seated at a booth in the corner. He’s looking around the mostly empty bar, seemingly taking in the neon signs advertising different kinds of alcohol. He’s wearing one of Dean’s flannels, Dean realizes belatedly.

“He’s cute,” Lynn says. She turns her attention back to the man in front of her. “What can I get for you two?”

“Two beers,” he says. And then, as an afterthought, “And two shots of your top shelf whiskey.”

She grins. “Celebrating something?”

“Come to think of it, yeah,” Dean says. “He, uh.” He looks for the words. “Just got back from a work trip. Gone for a couple of months.” That sounds like a good cover.

“I bet he’s happy to be home,” Lynn says, setting the beers in front of Dean before turning to grab a bottle from the shelf behind her. “You seem happy that he’s back.”

It’s Dean’s turn to grin. “I’m freaking thrilled. Dude’s my best friend.”

Lynn slides the now filled shot glasses toward Dean. “Want a tray to carry all that?”

Dean doesn’t get to answer before she’s sliding a tray toward him. “You need a tray,” she says, putting the drinks onto it. “I know you were going to try to carry all this over there without one.”

Dean thanks her and slides the tray onto his left arm, steadying it with his right hand. He turns toward the booth Cas is in and flashes him a smile while he lifts the tray slightly, indicating the beverages.

“That my shirt?” he says when he gets to the table. He sets a beer and a shot down in front of Cas.

Cas looks down at the flannel and then back at Dean in a way Dean can only describe as bashful. “Yes. It must have gotten mixed in with my laundry. I can return it, if you want.”

“Keep it. Looks better on you anyway.” Dean picks his shot up and motions for Cas to do the same. “We’re celebrating, Cas.”

Cas picks up his shot and looks at Dean curiously. “What are we celebrating?”

“You’re back!”

Cas smiles warmly. “I am,” he nods. “Thanks to you.”

“Well, Sam and Jack helped,” Dean says, grinning.

“To humanity,” Cas says, raising the shot.

“To humanity,” Dean echos before taking the shot.

Cas makes a face after he downs his and raises his beer to his lips to chase the taste away.

“You’ve not had a drink since you got back,” Dean remarks, watching Cas take a few long drinks from the bottle.

“You haven’t either,” he replies.

Dean contemplates the statement. “Really?” He takes a sip of his beer. “I guess I’ve just been busy.”

They both know that isn’t really true. Dean’s only been engaging in leisurely activities, he’s just not been drinking during them. He wonders for a moment why that might be. It’s probably because he doesn’t have any pain he needs to ignore, he thinks.

“Your tolerance is going to be shit.”

Cas shrugs. “I’m a cheap date.”

Dean looks at him for a moment before laughing. Cas gives him a genuine smile before returning to his beer.

Several beers later, Dean cuts himself off. Someone has to drive home and Cas is more than a little giggly on the bench across from him. He takes a sip of his third beer and gives Dean a measured look.

“What?” Dean asks, putting a soft smile on his face. “See something you like?”

“Yes,” Cas says.

Dean grins back at him. There’s a tug somewhere in his chest, but he ignores it. “Anything on your mind?”

Cas just looks at Dean, clearly deep in thought. “Not really, no.”

Dean laughs and shakes his head. “Want another?”

Cas’s beer is still half full. “Another what?”

“Another drink. Or another shot.”

“Another shot might be nice, actually.”

Dean smiles at him. “That’s my boy. I’ll be right back.”

He returns to the bar and waits for Lynn to walk over to him.

“Two more?” she asks.

“Just another shot,” Dean says. “I’m driving but huggy bear over there can have whatever he wants.”

Lynn shakes her head and pours another. “You two been together long? I haven’t seen him in here.”

Dean blinks back at her and then looks down at the shot. “Actually we, uh, we haven’t talked about… that. Being together.”

She frowns at Dean and he takes a breath. He hadn’t been avoiding it, really. He and Cas had just fallen back into their comfortable rhythm.

“He doesn’t know how you feel, does he?” Lynn asks. She looks a little sad now.

“I guess he doesn’t,” Dean says thoughtfully.

“You should tell him.”

Dean looks up at her.

“Not tonight, though. He should probably be sober.”

Dean nods and grabs the shot. “Thanks, Lynn.”

He sets the shot down across from Cas when he gets back to the table. “For you.”

Cas downs the shot as Dean settles back down across from him. “What were you two talking about?”

Dean stares at Cas. He knows he shouldn’t lie but if he says anything Cas may actually want to talk about his feelings and Dean isn’t ready for that. He doesn’t really have words and he’s not even sure he’s fully processed Cas’s confession yet. And, Lynn was probably right. Cas should be sober for that particular conversation.

“Sam,” Dean lies easily. “This is where we come for drinks. Neither of us have been by in a while.”

Cas accepts the lie and sips from his beer before starting a conversation about Jack and the prospect of weekly family dinners.

By the time Cas had finished his beer the shot he’d taken seems to hit him. “Dean.”

“Cas.”

“I’d like another shot.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “You can get it.”

Cas frowns at Dean before swinging his legs to the end of the booth to pull himself out. He pushes himself up on the table and wobbles a little before Dean is up and at his side, steadying him.

“When you don’t stand it hits you all at once,” Dean explains. He’s gripping Cas’s bicep and shoulder.

“I know how drinking works, Dean. I spend all my time with you.”

Dean chuckled low in his throat. “How about we get you home?”

“Can I drink there?”

Dean turns Cas to face him fully. “Hell yeah, you can.”

“You’ll be drinking, too?”

“Well, yeah. I won’t have to drive us anywhere. Can’t let you have all the fun.”

Dean walks Cas to the Impala and deposits him in the passenger’s seat. “I’ll be right back, baby. I have to pay the tab.”

Cas stares at Dean for a moment before opening and promptly closing his mouth.

“I’ll leave the door open in case you hurl. And I’ll get a bag from Lynn.”

Dean returns to see Cas has closed the door and is currently slumped against it, sleeping. He rolls his eyes and drives him home, careful to avoid the bumps on the road. When they get home, he shakes Cas awake.

“‘Morning, Sunshine.”

“It’s not morning, Dean,” Cas replies groggily.

“Nope,” Dean says, leaning over to pull Cas out of the car. “Let’s get you to your room.”

They make their way through the bunker slowly. Dean sits Cas down and gets him out of his shoes and, after a brief moment of hesitation, his jeans. Once he’s gotten Cas under the blankets, he gets a glass of water from the kitchen and a few tylenol from the bottle he has stashed in his room.

“Alright,” he says, setting everything down on Cas’s night stand. “Take the tylenol when you wake up. You’re probably going to be hungover. And drink some water, okay?”

“Yes, Dean,” says the Cas sized lump under the covers.

“Let me know if you need anything else, okay? I’m right down the hall.”

Dean turns to leave but Cas makes a noise. Dean turns back around.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight, Dean. I had fun.”

Dean smiles. “I had fun, too. Get some sleep, baby.”

He flicks out Cas’s lights and reminds himself to stop calling Cas buddy. The dude loves him and Dean’s probably making it hurt or something. Plus, he’d accidentally called him baby when he’d first gotten back from The Empty. Dean’s probably sending him mixed signals. He shuts the door behind him and walks to his room; he knows he should probably figure out what to say to Cas. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that meant poking at that warm, fluttery feeling that seemed to be permanently in his chest.

-

Sam returns from the hunt a week later. He assures Dean it was an easy hunt and that he and Eileen hadn’t needed any help. He also admits to spending a few days with Eileen after they’d taken out the nest.

“How is she, anyway?” Dean asks, handing a beer to Sam and setting one on the end table next to Cas. They’d been watching old western’s in the Dean Cave when Sam got home. Cas had wanted to spend the day watching movies and Dean had agreed on the condition that he got to pick the movie.

“She’s good. She misses you two,” Sam answers.

“Tell her to get her ass out here,” Dean says. “She’s family at this point, man. She should be here, anyway. It would make hunts easier.”

Sam shook his head, smiling. “That’s the first hunt I’ve been on since we beat Chuck. You still haven’t been out.”

“Hey, I’m keeping Cas company. He’s still newly human,” Dean argues.

“You could go hunt if you want, Dean. I’m capable of taking care of myself. I don’t mind,” Cas says from the couch. Dean looks over at him and shakes his head.

“Nah, you’ve been back less than a month. We gotta make sure you have your sea legs before I go anywhere, baby.”

The words left his mouth effortlessly. Sam and Cas just stared at him for a second before Sam coughed.

“It’s great seeing you guys but I’m going to go shower and pass out for a few hours,” he says before making a quick exit toward his room.

“Fine, Sammy. We didn’t want to hang out with you, anyway,” Dean shoots back before collapsing onto his side of the couch.

He hits play on the movie and settles in. He has his own bottle of beer pressed to his lips when Cas speaks.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?” he replies, lowering the bottle from his lips.

Cas is quiet for a moment. “Why do you keep calling me ‘baby’?” he asks carefully.

Dean stares back at him. “I only called you that once,” he says, on guard now. Had it slipped out again? He didn’t think it had but now he’s not so confident. He sets his beer bottle down.

“No, you’ve done it five times.” So, it had slipped out again. More than once. “You did just now before Sam left.”

Dean is silent, unsure of what to say. He hadn’t even realized it had come out. “I’m sorry,” he finally decides, lowering his gaze from Cas’s stare for a brief moment.

“I don’t mind it,” Cas says quietly. He’s looking somewhere to the left of Dean, his eyes occasionally flickering to Dean’s face. “I thought you were doing it on purpose, is all.”

Dean can’t seem to form a fully coherent thought. He knows he needs to say something - mention Cas’s confession, maybe. But he doesn’t have the words for that yet. Instead he says, “Do you want me to stop?”

“I want you to do it on purpose,” Cas says, looking down. Dean can see the beginnings of pink on the top of his ears. He’s overwhelmed with an ache somewhere in his chest.

Dean doesn’t know why, but he slides in close to Cas. He reaches his hand out and lifts his chin so their eyes meet. “Anything you want, baby,” he says, softly. The fluttering in his chest is more insistent now.

He hears Cas’s breath hitch. Cas closes and opens his eyes before saying. “Can I ask something?”

“Of course,” Dean says, his hand still resting on Cas’s chin.

“Will you kiss me?”

Before Dean registers what he’s doing, he nods and ducks his head in. The kiss is chaste and quick but Cas leans in and responds gently. When they break, there’s a soft smile on Cas’s face.

“Cas,” Dean says, moving his hand to Cas’s cheek. “I, uh. I need to talk to you about. About what you said. Before you… Ya know.”

“When I told you I loved you?” Cas supplies, his eyes half-lidded.

“Yeah,” Dean says, chuckling lightly. “I. I think I do, too. I just haven’t -”

“You don’t have to say anything, Dean. You know that.”

Dean brings his mouth gently back to Cas’s and kisses him again. This time just a little longer, his other hand finding Cas’s waist.

“It was just so easy when you got back,” Dean says when he pulls away. He tries to find any string of words that expresses how he feels. “I didn’t think I needed to say anything but…”

Cas stares at Dean, encouraging him to keep going. Dean can feel his face heating up.

“Lynn asked how long we’d been together,” he says, lamely. “The bartender,” he adds.

“I didn’t get to meet her but I remember her name.”

Dean smiles at him and takes a breath before speaking. “And I told her we hadn’t talked about it. And she looked really sad. I realized I do need to say something.”

They’re silent for a moment and then Dean says. “Holy shit. That was a date.”

Cas looks confused. “You told me it was a date.”

“I did?”

“Yes. When I said yes to going with you, you said ‘it’s a date.’” Cas says.

Dean shakes his head. “It’s… It’s an expression, Cas,” he says. Then, “But, uh, that was a date. I think.”

“Dean. Did you want it to be a date?” Cas asks. His voice is lined with both patience and amusement.

Dean pauses for a minute before saying, “Yeah. That was our first date.” He leans in and presses another kiss to Cas’s mouth.

Cas kisses back and then pulls away a little. “Would you like to go on a second date?”

Dean makes a show of thinking. He hums lightly.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas. I do,” he places a kiss on the side of Cas’s mouth before he drops his hand. “I, uh, I don’t really know what to say but… You can have me, if you want. You’re just going to have to work with me. I don’t really know what I’m doing here.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Cas says.

Dean places a kiss on Cas’s cheek before he turns back to the TV and starts the movie. Cas reaches across to grab his hand, intertwining their fingers in the space between them.

“Hey, baby?”

Cas’s head pops up in response to the pet name, there’s a faint smile on his lips. “Yes, Dean?”

“I love you.”

Cas beams at him before replying, “I love you, too.”

Dean turns his head back toward the TV but spends a better part of the rest of the movie sneaking glances at Cas. He indulges the warm feeling in his chest, even if he doesn’t quite have the words for everything yet.

#supernatural #destiel #destiel fanfic #spn #mine #bye this was inspired by a post I made because im a monster! #my writing #my fic

[kirishimaswife2819]

hi! could i request headcanons with the boys who have a daydreamer s/o? they tend to zone out quite often, and even listen to music and pace around the room while daydreaming. and if any of the boys ask what it was abt, they'd infodump hard. ty!

Them with a Daydreamer S/o || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist 1 || Masterlist 2

↠Author’s Note: Wait, other people get up and pace around when they're daydreaming? Why am I just learning about this? I do this all the time and I thought I was so weird for it, it's nice to know that other people do it too, cause I literally do this every day and whenever I try telling somebody about it they always look at me like I'm insane. Anyway, thanks for requesting! I hope you like this! -Danielle <3

↠Characters: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Eijiro Kirishima, Shoto Todoroki, and Denki Kaminari x Reader

↠Summary: The boys with a daydreamer s/o that zones out a lot, as well as pacing around the room and listening to music while daydreaming

↠Genre: Fluff

↠Word Count: 950

↠Warnings: None

↠Notes: None

Izuku Midoriya:

Sometimes he worries that your excessive daydreaming will affect your ability to complete school work, but that’s his only problem with it, other than that, he doesn’t mind it all

He actually enjoys when you go on about your daydream and how complex they are, and sometimes he’ll even takes notes on them when you’re not paying attention because he likes to write down every little detail about you, including your daydreams

He also kind of enjoys watching you pace around the room and daydream, if you’re comfortable with him watching you do it, but if you’re not then that’s fine too. He’d just prefer if you’d let him be present while you do it, because it seems to be a big habit of yours, and if he’s there then he gets more time to spend with you

Sometimes he’ll offer to go on walks with you, as opposed to walking around the room, and you’ll both share an earbud and just walk around U.A. a million times, while you’re daydreaming, and he’s thinking about being a hero or whatever he has on his mind, at the moment

Katsuki Bakugou:

At first he called you weird for it, because he’d never heard of anybody doing that before and he thought it was kinda weird that you got up and paced around while doing it

He’ll complain about having to listen to you go on and on about your daydreams when he just asked to know what the main idea of it was, but he secretly really enjoys listening to you go on about it, he just won’t admit it

He doesn’t have a problem with you pacing around the room either, it just gives him time to do his homework and train, without you bothering him about wanting to hang out with him, but he’ll occasionally come over while you’re doing it and just sit on your bed and do whatever, simply because he wants to be around you

He probably won’t offer to walk with you or anything, he’ll just sit by and let you do your thing, but if you asked him if he wanted to walk with you, he would say “no” and say that it’s dumb and pointless, but he’d be thinking of excuses for why he would want to do that with you and eventually he’ll settle on “it’s good exercise” and claim he’s only agreeing to walk with you for that specific reason (even tho that’s not true at all)

Eijiro Kirishima:

He’s thought it was adorable from the very beginning, and he has absolutely no issues with you doing it

He absolutely LOVES when you info dump, like he gets so invested in what you’re saying and how your daydream has a whole intricate story line, and sometimes he’ll ask you if you ever continued daydreaming about a certain thing, and he’ll want to know what happens next

While you’re pacing, he’ll either pace with you, while holding your hand because he wants to be near you, or he’ll sit on your bed, and play on his phone while he waits for you to get bored and want to do something else with him

Like Izuku, he’ll offer to walk around U.A./town with you, explaining that it would be better, because you could get some fresh air and be in a different environment for once, and while you two are doing that he’ll either look around at the nature (or shops if you do it in town), or he’ll get lost in his own daydreams (which normally involve spending the rest of his life with you)

Shoto Todoroki:

If the word “okay” was a person, that person would be Shoto Todoroki and you cannot convince me otherwise, I just see that being his reaction to so many things, and this isn’t an exception

He doesn’t particularly love it or anything but he doesn’t hate it either, it’s just sort of there, and he doesn’t really mind it all that much

He does sort of enjoy when you info dump about it, though, especially if your daydreams involve him and/or your friends, because he likes hearing what you imagine that the future between you all will be like and all of that

When you’re busy pacing around and daydreaming, he’s probably resting on your bed, doing whatever he finds entertaining at the moment, but sometimes he’ll find himself laying with his arms behind his head, watching you pace and enjoying the little facial expressions you make and he’ll try to decipher what you’re daydreaming about

Denki Kaminari:

I feel like Denki does it a lot too, and I have a feeling he gets really into his daydreams

So, he doesn’t have an issue with it and will sometimes pace around at the same time you are, and have his own daydream while your having yours, and then afterwards you two both info dump and talk about your daydreams together

He genuinely gets so excited that he has somebody willing to listen to his daydreams, because none of his friends every really want to listen (Kiri will listen, but he does a poor job at hiding that it bores him), so he’s glad that you two have your mutual little daydreaming thing going on

You two could daydream together for hours, whether your pacing around one of your rooms, walking in circles around U.A. or even just walking around the dorms while you’re daydreaming, it doesn’t matter, but it goes on for hours, and majority of class 1-A is convinced that you two are insane for it, but neither of you really care enough to convince them otherwise

#izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #eijiro kirishima #eijiro x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #kirishima x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #denki kaminari #denki x reader #denki kaminari x reader #kaminari x reader #x reader #mha #bnha #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha x reader #bnha x reader #headcanons #headcanon post

[dat-town]

not gonna miss this chance

Characters: Han Seojun & soloist!female reader

Genre: fluff

Setting: true beauty au, set a year after the tv show’s ending timeline

Summary: Your career is on the verge of ending, hence your management puts you up to do a duet with the infamous Han Seojun. You have heard too many rumours about him to keep track of and yet, none of them could have prepared you for the feelings that came with meeting him.

Words: 4.1k

Self indulgent little snippet because he deserves happiness too.

You had heard of Han Seojun before meeting him, of course you had. Everybody who was in the industry had heard of the hot trend of a Newstagram star-turned idol and his band's shining debut from a year ago. They were told to have snatched teenage girls hearts all over Korea with their good looks and soulful music. You had heard their title track and you had to admit it was nice but nice wasn't enough in a cut-throat industry like entertainment.

Look at you, starting training at twelve, debuting at fifteen and now barely twenty-one you were on the verge of becoming a thrown away doll. Once you had been called cute and the it girl of your generation and now? People were saying you got boring just because your music had matured. Gosh, you couldn't keep singing about first love like your hit song had been for the rest of your life for god's sake. Your last album had been a flop, your company had been losing money and you were still afraid that even with a year left of your contract, they would cut you. But your manager had begged them for a chance and here it was: a collaboration with the newest love of Korea.

But the thing was, Han Seojun had quite a reputation and you didn't know who to believe. Some said he was well-mannered and hard-working. Others gossiped that he was always flirting with his makeup artists and Chen claimed he had been rude to her even when he had just been a ‘nobody’. Not that you were particularly fond of Chen either but as a fellow solo female singer you were a tad bit worried how the infamous singer would treat you.

Well, standing in front of Move Entertainment, you were just about to find out. Taking a shallow breath you followed your manager's lead, bowing to the receptionist and getting into the elevator after taking your visitor's badge. You had heard the company has gone through many changes after the executives were replaced due to the revealed Seyeon scandal but everything looked expensive, shiny and new, unlike in your small agency.

“Hey, I’m Lim Heekyung, nice to meet you. Seojun will be in a minute, too,” a woman in a pantsuit walked up to you on the right floor with a confident smile as she introduced herself. She led you to a meeting room which was apparently customized for a few people only and started preparing papers. She looked excited which was a relief and nice to see, at least someone from Move Entertainment was happy for this project apparently. You were a bit afraid they would see you like a leech, trying to cling onto their new star’s popularity.

“Shall we start? Seojun is a fan of dramatic entrances anyways,” Miss Lim laughed joyfully as if it wasn’t new to her that the idol didn’t make it on time. Ah yeah, you had heard rumours saying that he had something on the company and that was why they were so lenient with him.

You sat in silence, let your manager do the talk about the collaboration project. Seojun could play the guitar, you could play the piano, apparently it was perfect for a ballad duet, though if you used instruments yourself it added to the preparations time. But luckily, there was a songwriter named Leo at the company who had already sent in a few samples specifically for Seojun, so you didn’t have to start from zero.

“Ah, I see you started without me. What did I miss?” A tall boy opened the door wide and flipped down onto the chair across you casually. He had grown into his lanky limbs and with those wide shoulders hugged by the leather jacket, helix earrings in one ear and soft brown hair brushed to one side, it wasn’t a surprise how many female fans swooned over him. But there were a lot of handsome boys in the business, just his looks – no matter how confident he was in them based on the way he carried himself – wouldn’t make a difference.

Miss Lim patiently let Seojun know about the advances and only when she mentioned your name, did the boy glance at you. His dark brown eyes had a sharp form, just as piercing as his gaze, but the cunning smile spreading over his lips softened it a bit. He looked at you as if he wanted to see through you, to figure out how he should have approached you. You expected a snarky or arrogant comment, but in the end, he just flashed a blinding smile at you, one you could see on his posters, before turning back to Miss Lim.

“What’s the schedule?” he asked simply and you both were notified about the deadline of deciding and finalizing the song, the dates of planned recording sessions and the photoshoot. Since there would be no promotion period, it all would be done within a month and half from start to finish. You were a bit relieved hearing that and leave Move Entertainment without any confrontation.

You thought you were good at masking your wary feelings since the further meetings went well and the first recording session went okay-ish. Although both of you had been a bit scolded by the producer for not putting enough feelings into your singing. He claimed that the demo sent by Leo was much more emotional which made Seojun scoff and mumble under his nose. The PD called it for a day, making you promise to practice for next time and one by one they all left. Your manager told you that he would bring the car while you refresh yourself in the bathroom, so you really didn’t expect anyone to wait for you when you stepped out of the restroom, much less Han Seojun.

"Spit it out," he bit out barely glancing your way as he leaned against the corridor’s wall.

"What?" you spluttered as you were really taken aback by his out of blue appearance and question. The guy let out a tired sigh at your obliviousness and pushed himself away from the wall just to walk up to you, towering over your height with his.

"You look at me as if I killed your hamster or something. Which rumour about me bothers you? I fucking can't keep walking on eggshells around you, especially when it's just the two of us," he tsked and you gulped at the sudden called out. You didn’t think it bothered him, or that he was considerate enough to ‘walk on eggshells around you’, you merely thought he was so distant from everybody. It was still better than what Chen had told you.

"Oh, I… nothing. It's stupid. Sorry," you mumbled, feeling embarrassed for your your actions but Seojun apparently wasn’t satisfied without a real answer as he carried on:

"I didn't bully kids in high school but I threatened ones that deserved it, I didn't only get a pity chance from the entertainment, one of our makeup artists is actually one of my best friends, I'm not…"

"Chen told me you are rude and arrogant and have no respect for girls," you blurted out to stop him from speaking because you felt like you didn’t deserve to hear all that. He didn’t owe you any explanation for the way he was. You were just co-workers for a project after all, you had no place in his life, nor he had in yours, so he shouldn’t have been that bothered by your opinion but you understood that he felt uncomfortable due to your silent accusations.

Hearing your hasty interruption, the singer scoffed, a laugh-like sound leaving his mouth.

"Well, I have no respect for girls like Chen who harass my friends and turn their lives into hell just to go on a date with me," he said and it made you blink slowly.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. Check your facts before you go around believing such crap," Seojun stepped back with a roll of his eyes.

The whole situation made you feel made about how you acted, so you wished to apologise but it fell from your lips all too carelessly: "Sorry, I was just worried. This is my last chance, so–"

"Last chance?" the guy quirked a brow at you, curious but you quickly waved his question away.

"Nevermind, I just need this song to do well."

"Of course, it will. I'm Han Seojun, it will turn to gold under my hands," he grinned and made eccentric gestures as if he was about to do magic. You couldn't help a smile. “Or well, vocal chords.”

And turn it to gold, he did.

The rest of your recording sessions went smoother, even the previously grumpy PD complimented your for the development in your chemistry. Funny, you wouldn’t have thought that the wall pulled up between the two of you mattered that much, but at least you didn’t have a knot in your stomach, nor did you worry about every small thing you did around Han Seojun. He also acted more casual, more playful, joking around when both of you had a bit of time to take a breather. He snapped silly pictures, showed off with his height, smirked when he got too close but despite all his bravado and lowkey flirting, you believed even he wouldn’t have jeopardised his career over something like this.

Maybe that's why wrapping up the recording felt a tad bit weird: you got used to his presence, his jokes, his beautiful, deep voice that you could have fallen asleep to. Sure, sometimes he was cocky, a bit rough around the edges but he was a great singer and a fun guy. The project seemed to work out well and you loved it a lot, so you hoped the listeners would appreciate it as well.

But before all that you had one photo shoot together for the promotional pictures and the single's cover. You were grateful for the simple pastel colour background and elegant setting. The warm light latte colour and the clock in the background really fit the song's vibe. Luckily, your dress was decent and pretty as well, you didn't have to feel uncomfortable in it at least.  However, you didn’t expect that happy yelp coming from one of the makeup artists stepping into the dressing room. You turned to face the girl, wondering whether she was your fan judged by her excitement.

"Oh my! I'm so happy to finally meet you! Seojun told us about you so much!" she beamed at you which obviously took you back. Well, that you didn’t expect at all. He spoke of you to others? Ah. Apparently to the makeup artist who was most probably that certain one of his best friends he had told you about?

"Don't exaggerate, Imju, I mentioned her like what… once?" Seojun walked in on cue. He rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, trying to avert the topic. "How's Suho?"

You had know idea who that said guy was but after a moment or two you could breathe properly once again while listening to their chatting.

“Just the usual. He’s excited about your duet.”

“Of course, he is,” Seojun grinned, a bit snarky but you could hear the proud undertones of it. When he looked at you, you were surprised by him leaning close though as he quieted down until only you could hear it. “Don’t worry, Jugyeong is really good and just stop her if she gets too gossip-y.”

“Are you talking about me behind my back, hah, Han Seojun?” The pretty girl called Jugyeong raised her fist as if she was about to hit the idol but he just laughed it off and left you two alone when he was hurried onto the set to start with his individual shoots.

“Have you known each other for a long time?” you couldn’t help but wonder as you were seated to get your makeup from her.

“Ah, almost 4 years, I think. We went to high school together. Plus, he’s best friends with my boyfriend. Though, they are always bickering like a married couple,” Jugyeong chuckled joyfully as she started with the cushion. You closed your eyes, listening as she kept going on about the time when Seojun had been obsessed with his motorbike, getting into trouble with his mother. It was strange hearing about a whole other side of him, mama's boy but the image tugged on your mouth, making you smile even though you weren't sure you had the right to know all that. You also learned that Seojun's sister was dating Jugyeong's brother and you felt so involved with the girl's trust albeit it was your last meeting, you were sure Seojun must have only told good things about you.

Hence, you felt shy under his knowing gaze when you walked out of the dressing room. He must have known that Jugyeong couldn't shut up for the life of her, so he looked a bit uncertain, too, stretching the back of his neck, forcing a cunning smile onto his smile when you took your place next to him.

To fit the ballad's theme, the setting was a piano decorated with flowers and you were instructed to sit beside him as if you were about to play a four hands piece. As you did what you had been told, you were very much aware of the way your arms brushed, his long fingers over the keys close to yours, his smile small but genuine.

"Great, great, guys! Someone help her onto the piano and Seojun, stand in front of her," the photographer directed the next scene but before any staff members would have rushed up to you, the singer next to you shushed them.

"I can do it," he insisted as he stood up and looked you in the eyes, silently asking for permission. You nodded while holding your breath back before Seojun put his hands on your waist above the fluffy tulle skirt part and counting on three, he lifted you onto the lid of the beautiful instrument.

You crossed your legs, watching in awe as your pink skirt fell down on waves  but your breath hitched for an entirely different reason when you looked up, gaze meeting Seojun's feline eyes trained on you. You had never seen him look at you like that, lacking playfulness or suspicion or curiosity. He looked open, vulnerable, outright starstruck. Your lips parted meaning to ask something but your brain shut off when you heard the shutter of the camera go down and the director yelling compliments at you. It made you snap out of it and later, you blamed the evident blush on your cheeks on the makeup. Seojun blinked too, his guarded expression back in no time, finishing the photo shoot professionally, always lingering close to you, but never touching you. Even though you wouldn’t have minded.

"Hey," Seojun peeked into your dressing room just as you were about to leave, packing up, with a smile on his mouth and sparkles in his deep brown eyes. But unlike half an hour ago when he wore a fancy suit and looked at you like a prince would have looked at his princess, he acted just as casual as he looked in his denim jacket over dark tee. "Wanna grab something with me if you finished for today?"

His question took you back but first thing first you glanced towards your manager, eyes begging for permission which you had gotten with a sigh.

"Just be discreet and call me if you need me to pick you up," your manager shrugged, leaving you two alone with a knowing look that told you to be careful. You didn't need to be told though, you knew how much depended on the current public response to your image.

"Seems like a green light. Have you thought of anything specific?" you turned back to the boy with a subtle smile.

"Not really but I know a few less frequent, secluded places to avoid much talk about us," he said and you nodded, following his lead. Masks, caps and hoodies on, you barely talk on your way to the tent with the lovely ahjumma who welcomed Seojun (two heads taller than her) with a pinch of his cheeks and told you to get seated.

"Are you a regular here?" you inquire, carefully pulling down your mask since not many people are around.

"You could say that," the boy hummed letting you adjust to the place at your own pace, not pressuring you with extra reassessments about how safe it is there. Yet, he is so casual as if he wasn't afraid of a getting mobbed by Dispatch out of the blue. Not that it happened to you a lot of times but you heard stories and at such a crucial time in your career, you feared something like that more than anything.

"Do you want to come up to mine instead?" Seojun blurted out suddenly which made you wide eyed in a span of a moment as you splattered out a surprised yelp. "Come on, I don't mean anything by it. You just look really nervous being in the public," the singer said, his deep voice softening, soothing by the end and you needed to take a breather before answering. You didn't think it was so obvious but apparently you had never been a good liar with him.

In the end, you decided on going over to Seojun's place, so he asked the ahjumma to pack your food to go and you headed towards his flat a few blocks from the company. It was a small but cozy place, much softer and brighter than you expected, lots of pastels and photos of friends and family. While the boy busied himself in the kitchen, getting you plates, chopsticks and beer, you were encouraged to look around and you couldn't help but smile at his photos with not only his band members but high school friends, too. You had seen photos of his graduation with Jugyeong, then another one of his debut with her and another guy.  He was a recurring person on a lot of pictures, so you assumed that he was the so-called Suho.

"He's Jugyeong's boyfriend," Seojun affirmed as he walked up to you which you acknowledged with a hum and smiled at his photos with his sister and mother. The makeup artist was right when she said he was only tough on the outside.

"You knew Seyeon?" you whispered as your gaze shifted of a picture of three boys smiling widely into the camera. The middle one was the talented boy you had known  from the news of his committed suicide. Such a tragedy.

"Uhum. We were best friends. Him, Suho and me," Seojun nodded and without having to ask, he told you how they had gotten to know each other, what were their favourite past time activities and how they fell apart when he died. You could see he was hurting even now as he was talking about it, so you grazed your fingers against his knuckles as though to say you were there for him to listen, or whatever he needed.

Talking about his best friends and how a group of guys including someone named Chorong stuck by his side over the years warmed your heart. It was nice to know that not everyone had it as lonely as you who basically missed out on high school and memories from that time to be able to turn your dreams into reality. Your only friends were also in the industry but it made things both easier and harder.

"What about you? What did you mean by this being your last chance?" Seojun asked like a loaded gun but after everything he had just told you, you knew you could trust him with this and being in the industry for a while now, he must have understood, too.

You told him about the rising expectations, about your image and your company's ultimatum. It actually felt nice to talk about with someone other than your manager. Especially since Seojun seemed to understand exactly why you felt conflicted over the matter. You have given your youth to this dream of yours, so giving up on it would have felt like betraying yourself and everyone who believed in you but you weren't sure you could give it another 10 years of your life no matter how much you liked music. You had decent CSATs result, maybe you could have applied for a university program. Seojun even offered to arrange a meeting between you and Suho who was studying to become a proper songwriter.

You talked for hours and ate the tteokbokki even though it had gotten cold long ago and you couldn't remember when was the last time you had felt so light. You felt giddy even with just the tiny bit of alcohol in your system by the time you knew it was time for you to go.

Once you had felt relieved knowing that promoting your duet would be only one performance but recently, you started dreading the moment because that meant that you wouldn't have any more excuse to see Seojun. In the backstage, this time around you greeted Jugyeong like an old friend and teased to give Seojun a funny makeup before walking up to your  own assigned staff members. Your look was full of sparkles and glow fitting the silver colour of your dress, completing the ethereal vibe off the stage you were going to do and the beautiful song you had grown to love so much you held it close to your heart. The last rehearsals went smoothly and if you noticed Seojun's gaze lingering a bit too long, you didn't comment on it.

"Are you nervous?" he asked before the final recording and you knew it would have been unreasonable to deny it, so you replied with a small smile.

"A bit."

"Don't be. You're pretty and you'll do amazing," he reassured you and the way he said those words oh so easy. As if they were natural. As if he believed in you and maybe this was all the reassurance you needed because when you walked up onto the stage, not taking your eyes off his, it felt like it was just the two of you there. All the stress about not being good enough, about being judged for who you were and what you wanted to do with your life was subsided as you focused on the moment, just to sing this one song with one while trying to fight your heart's crazy beating.

You didn't really have the luxury to have crushes. You had always been concentrated on your work, you couldn't let yourself have distractions, especially since love scandals always affected girl worse than guy. At least that was what you told yourself for always putting up a wall around you and guarding your heart all too well. But during the past few weeks, between playful or flirty remarks, between smiles and ruffling hair, Seojun took apart your wall brick by brick even if he wasn't aware.

So it might have been only a few days since you had last seen him but in that rare moment of boredom, alone in your room, you realized that you missed him. Hell, you liked him and the feeling made me want to scream into your pillow as if you were a silly teenager. As if on cue, your phone buzzed with a new message and seeing the KakaoTalk ID made you shy.

duet partner, han seo jun

so...

i've been thinking

you

sounds dangerous but ok

duet partner, han seo jun

don't get sassy with me, miss

you

what have you been thinking about?

duet partner, han seo jun

that i don't want to miss my chance

there's this girl i like

i thought of asking her out

do you think she would say yes?

you

oh. well... why wouldn't she?

i mean, you are talented, handsome, funny and reliable

duet partner, han seo jun

and what about my job? it's busy and a bit crazy

don't you think it would be unfair of me to ask?

you

I think you should let her decide that

duet partner, han seo jun

okay

are you free on friday?

you

um, sure?

duet partner, han seo jun

cool, then go on a date with me?

#han seo jun x reader #seojun x reader #han seojun #han seo joon #true beauty #stories #i just wanted to give him a happy end after ep16 #that's what this is about

[robininthelabyrinth]

Beautifully Spent

aka Five Times Lan Qiren Left The Lan Sect Behind

- Chapter 5 -

It didn’t matter how many years it had been, or that he had died and returned in a different body, or even that he was now a married man, an adult, well-respected by the whole cultivation world – being summoned to have tea with Lan Qiren still had a way of making Wei Wuxian feel like a disobedient schoolboy all over again.

He thought that they were on better terms now than they had been before, at least. At some point after he’d finally settled into the Cloud Recesses for good, Wei Wuxian had started assisting Lan Qiren with his classes, or perhaps more accurately, Lan Wangji had made a request with an eye towards his uncle’s uncertain health, Lan Qiren had refused, and Wei Wuxian had bullied his way in to act as an aide anyway by simply showing up and refusing to leave.

At first, he’d thought Lan Wangji’s idea was a terrible one, thinking that after all he was on bad terms with Lan Qiren, who disapproved of him as a general matter and of Lan Wangji’s relationship with him in specific, and therefore that they were on such bad terms that his presence would only make things worse. Only…one day, he had seen Lan Qiren coughing into his sleeve after they’d all had a brief scare as a result of a badly phrased letter from Lan Sizhui and spotted blood, and then suddenly been assaulted by the memory of Lan Qiren bleeding from all his qiqiao, crying out half-unconscious for Wei Wuxian to stop butchering his flute playing as if that was the only thing he remembered how to condemn.

It was not a memory that Wei Wuxian particularly enjoyed – the man had been his teacher, after all.

So despite his misgivings, he’d gone ahead and done it, and brazened it out the way he always did. They’d fought like cats and dogs at the start, Lan Qiren tetchy and querulous, Wei Wuxian too often inclined to argue just for the sake of arguing, but just as he’d been on the verge of giving it all up as a bad idea, Lan Wangji had, in his oh-so-serious way, told Wei Wuxian that he did not need to assist his uncle if he thought he couldn’t handle it and that, of course, had only lit a fire under his ass to actually manage it.

(Yes, he knew that Lan Wangji had done it on purpose, but it wasn’t like he didn’t use his own sexy wiles to convince Lan Wangji of all sorts of important things, like having a drink with him once in a while.)

At any rate, Wei Wuxian had gritted his teeth and forced himself to play along a bit better with Lan Qiren’s monotone lecturing, and after a while he found to his surprise that assisting with the classes actually wasn’t anywhere near as boring as he thought it would be. In turn, Lan Qiren had eased up a little on him, explaining the reasons behind what he was doing upon request, and things started to work better, little by little.

And now – now they were having tea.

Weird.

“You’ve adjusted well to the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Qiren said, accepting the tea Wei Wuxian poured for him. His voice was neutral and monotone, but Lan Wangji had assured Wei Wuxian that his uncle’s voice always sounded like that, and sure enough all the classes they shared together seemed to bear it out. Even when he was horribly upset and coughing up blood, his voice stayed as toneless and dull as ever; the only thing he really adjusted was the volume.

“Ah, I’ll never quite get the hang of when you wake up,” Wei Wuxian said, automatically deflecting, but Lan Qiren shook his head.

“Ancillary rule,” he said, and a few months of sitting in on Lan Qiren’s classes made Wei Wuxian ponderously put his hands together and say, using his own best monotone, “Ancillary rules support the fundamental rules. Even the keystone in an arch doesn’t stand alone.”

Lan Qiren nodded, serious despite Wei Wuxian’s attempt at teasing (clearly unsuccessful). “And yet you have adjusted to the underlying purpose of the rule regarding when to wake, which is to fill as much of your day with meaning as possible. Your relationship with Wangji is going well?”

Wei Wuxian choked a little. “Uh, yes.” He hoped Lan Qiren wasn’t thinking of dissuading him now – they were already married! Lan Qiren had even participated, accepting Wei Wuxian’s respect in the place of Lan Wangji’s parents. “Did you have any…questions…?”

Lan Qiren shook his head. “You’ve also repaired your relationship with Jiang Cheng, have you not?” he said instead, changing the subject, and – on firmer ground – Wei Wuxian nodded. “Good. He’s an excellent sect leader.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Wei Wuxian said, feeling fond as always when he thought of Jiang Cheng. “He grew up so well.”

It would have been better, of course, if Wei Wuxian had been able to be by his side – but it hadn’t been meant to be, and now they were getting over that.

Lan Qiren nodded.

There was a few moments of silence, and just as Wei Wuxian was wondering if it was his turn to come up with a conversational subject, Lan Qiren put down his cup.

“Xichen has been out of seclusion for over a year,” he said. “Wangji helps him with the work of sect leader, but the bulk has returned to his hands, and he is doing well with it.”

“Yes, definitely,” Wei Wuxian said, but he had to admit he was a little puzzled as to where this conversation was going. It seemed clear that Lan Qiren was leading somewhere, but with all these subject changes, he couldn’t keep up. “Teacher Lan, what’s your point?” he asked, taking a sip of his own tea.

“I want you to take over my classes.”

Wei Wuxian choked.

Lan Qiren politely waited for him to catch his breath. “I’m serious.”

Wei Wuxian had just been about to ask if he was joking. “Why?” he asked. “You love teaching classes.”

It was true, too. He hadn’t appreciated it as a child, seeing only the old man hiding in Lan Qiren’s bones, but Lan Qiren truly loved teaching students – and he was good at it, too. It was impossible to teach those that didn’t want to be taught, so for a reckless idiot like Wei Wuxian who hadn’t been willing to listen, he’d ordered him to copy the rules as a punishment; as a result, to this day, Wei Wuxian could still recite each and every one of them. If Wei Wuxian hadn’t gotten into that fight with Jin Zixuan and been pulled out of the classes so recklessly back then, he might’ve had the chance to learn what he was learning now – not just the basic foundation of what the rules were, but why each rule existed, the history and background of it, the debates and complexity about its meaning, the way each rule intersected with all the others. How the rules, even when seemingly meaningless, had a life and background of their own; how they could be associated with various points of good conduct, of righteousness and ethical behavior.

When they could be broken, and why.

Lan Qiren might be an old man from the bottom of his soul, he might speak in a monotone and be stiff and unyielding and stubborn, slow to change his fixed views on things and even slower to pick up on sarcasm or undue cleverness, but he worked with each student on how to understand what he was trying to convey, teaching them not only the content of his lectures but how to learn. He wasn’t especially patient, wasn’t especially gentle, was overly strict, but his students learned – sometimes despite themselves.

And now…he wanted to give up on his classes?

“Is something the matter?” Wei Wuxian asked, distressed despite himself, thinking of bad blood welling up in Lan Qiren’s chest – thinking of all the stupid things he’d done to aggravate him, whether now or in the past. Had the old man’s health really gotten that bad?

“Nothing is the matter,” Lan Qiren said. “And my health is fine, no matter what Wangji might have you think. It is merely a matter of time. Of time, and of dreams.”

“Of…dreams?”

“Mm,” Lan Qiren said, and for a moment he sounded exactly like Lan Wangji. “When I was a child, I once dreamed of being a traveling musician. I thought I’d roam the world, playing for anyone who would listen, and when I had my fill of wanderlust, return home – retire – teach.”

Wei Wuxian had had no idea. He could scarcely imagine Lan Qiren as a child – no, he couldn’t imagine it at all. Much less wanting to leave the Cloud Recesses as something as daringly bold as being a traveling musician! Not even a rogue cultivator, but a traveling musician!

The brief moment of glee that the image inspired got snuffed out a moment later when he recalled why, exactly, Lan Qiren had never gone out to fulfill his childhood dream. He knew the story well by now, the story of Lan Wangji’s father and mother, their mutual disaster. Wei Wuxian was intimately familiar with sacrificing everything for his loved ones, but he couldn’t even imagine how it must have been to be Lan Qiren – his dreams destroyed by his brother’s selfish actions, another person’s love affair leaving him chained to his sect and raising two children as if they were his own.

Even Jiang Cheng had the comfort of knowing that his life had been destroyed by an enemy.

“I became a teacher prematurely,” Lan Qiren said, nodding when he saw the light of recognition in Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “I have enjoyed it, as I always expected I would. But it is not enough. It is time.”

“Time?” Wei Wuxian echoed, and then realized: “You want to be a traveling musician? Now?”

Surely it was impossible.

Lan Qiren was – not old, no, not really, but his health was bad; he had never recovered from the attack on the Cloud Recesses, from Wen Xu’s vicious attacks that had nearly crippled him. Moreover, he wasn’t just some nobody who could go around unnoticed – he was the only sect leader left from his generation, even if he had technically only played an interim role, and more than that, he was the honorable teacher Lan Qiren, who could turn any waste into a gentleman. He’d taught hundreds of students over the years – Wei Wuxian had seen the records – and he counted among his students some of the most influential people in the cultivation world.

Even Wei Wuxian, who’d been in his class only a month or so and spent most of it in punishment, felt distress at the thought of Lan Qiren trudging through the mud of the mortal world with a guqin on his back, playing for his supper. How would those who had actually done well in his class feel?!

“It will not be as I originally imagined,” Lan Qiren said, entirely calm. “I plan to visit my former students, if they would have me there, and travel only between their homes – it will not be as stressful as the life of a rogue cultivator. I will have the sect’s resources available to assist me. It will be fine.”

“But -!”

“Xichen is sect leader, and recovering well from what he lost. Wangji is your husband, and happy. The only thing binding me to the sect now is my students – and you have helped me with my classes for months now. You are charming and thoughtful, charismatic; the students listen to you. You will do well with it.”

“I don’t know all the rules!”

“You know enough.”

“But – but –”

“If you say no, I cannot go,” Lan Qiren said, and he didn’t even sound angry about it, merely accepting. “I have a duty to see to the juniors’ education. I would entrust you with it, but I will not force it upon you. But I would very much appreciate it if you would agree. Will you do it?”

If I say no, I’d be the one locking you here, Wei Wuxian thought, and swallowed. That didn’t seem right.

“…all right,” he said, and was rewarded by one of Lan Qiren’s rare smiles. “But you have to get me up to speed first!”

“Of course,” Lan Qiren agreed. “I will plan to go only after the New Year, in the spring. I will tell Xichen and Wangji of my decision this evening.”

Wei Wuxian felt his heart freeze at the thought of their reaction at discovering their beloved uncle’s plans – and finding out that he had played a critical role in enabling it.

“Uh,” he said. “I…may need to go out tonight. For a – thing. Important thing! Very…Lotus Pier! I’m going to the Lotus Pier! Urgently!”

Lan Qiren looked at him, unimpressed.

“It will not be that bad,” he said. “They will understand, and there is no reason for them to be concerned.”

“Oh yeah?” Wei Wuxian said, and crossed his arms. “Want to bet on that?”

#mdzs #wei wuxian #lan qiren #my fic #my fics #beautifully spent