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#but if he has those settled he’s usually content to deal with whatever is happening
houdinicorbini · 8 months
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Alva Lorenz x Reader "Late night thoughts"
It is has now been 1 year since this man has been out!! And I am surprised by the lack of Alva content when it comes to x readers
This is also very self indulgent. I thought it would be nice to write a comfort fic!
Word count: 1201
Trigger warnings: paranoia and crying
It was currently late at night. Most people, if not everyone in the manor were already long asleep, your lover who was laying right beside you being one of them. 
Yet, you couldn’t find the will nor the ability to fall asleep. As much as you wish you could do that so you wouldn’t be dealing with all these thoughts and fears that were forcing you to stay awake while everyone else had the pleasure of sleeping. 
You lay on your side, back facing your lover as you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to stop whatever tears that were threatening to spill then and there. 
This just happens sometimes after all! It’s just paranoia, there’s nothing going to come of it! Those were the things you were desperately trying to tell yourself. 
But then there’s that thought that what if something does happen and it’s far too late to be fixed or even noticed. 
That no matter what, nothing can be done to stop or fix it in time. That everything you do now doesn’t matter because it’ll all just end anyways. 
These thoughts only kept forcing you into a deeper and deeper rabbit hole, one that felt like you couldn’t crawl out of. 
You tried desperately to think of happy memories, good moments to help distract yourself, but you just kept falling deeper and deeper. 
Then, finally, the dam broke. You started silently sobbing, covering your mouth so that you wouldn’t make any form of noise so as to not disturb him. 
It felt like you were silently screaming at some points, trying your damnedest to keep any noise from escaping and failing to do that here and there. 
The tears wouldn’t stop spilling out and your head was already aching with pain because of it. 
After a few minutes of nonstop sobbing, you hear a small meow before you feel something jump in the spot right in front of you. 
One you feel whiskers on your face, you open your eyes to see it’s one of Alva’s most trusted cats, and it seems like she has a goal in mind as her nose is practically touching your own. 
Without saying anything, you pulled her close to you, sniffling as you wrapped your arms around her, to which she didn’t mind at all. 
The cat settled down, getting comfortable as she had no plans of getting up until morning. Her only goal was to help comfort you. 
Before you had the opportunity to cry again, a pair of strong arms had wrapped themselves around you. Immediately recognizing who it was, you felt yourself relaxing, but buried your face into the cat, earning another small meow as you did. 
You didn’t want him to exactly see you like this, even though he has before, as you have seen him in panic driven moments.  
There was a soft kiss placed on your head before your love spoke. 
“My dear,” he began, his voice much deeper than usual, indicating that he might’ve just woken up from his slumber. 
“Are you alright?” Alva asked, concern very apparent in his tired tone, though no matter how tired he is, Alva will always show concern for you. 
You give a small nod, not wanting to use your voice since it would most likely give away that you’ve been crying, though it’s not like he’d have to be a detective to guess that. 
His grip tightened slightly, but more of in a comforting way. As if to say that he’s here for you. 
“Just overthinking is all…” you say rather quietly, upset at yourself that he’s now awake, worrying that it was your sobbing that did it. 
Alva shifted slightly so that his chin could be resting comfortably on your head, one arm reaching up so that he could run his fingers through your hair. 
“About what, my love?” He asked, continuing with this soothing motion as he felt you relax a tad bit more, which relieved him. 
When there was no response, he completely understood, not wanting to push. So, he decided to continue to comfort you, in ways that didn’t require you to use words. 
Feeling him caress your cheek, you lean into his cold touch, enjoying such a feeling since your skin felt rather warm at that moment. 
Pushing your back into him slightly so that you could feel him all around. Just him holding you was helping distract you from these evil thoughts. 
“I’m here for you.”
“You’re not alone.”
“These are only thoughts.” 
Alva would whisper things like that, in hopes that they’d help you, even if it was only by a little bit. 
To which they did, but it was more of the fact that he was trying his best more than what he was saying. Though there was still a part of you that was upset that he woke up. You’d rather him sleep, yet, there was a part of you that was grateful to have him awake nonetheless. 
You felt him place a few more kisses on your head, before moving so that he could place some upon your cheek, to which you didn’t mind the slightest. 
Alva continues to hold you, making sure you are very aware of the fact that he’s here for you, and nothing will ever change that. 
Nothing in this world could ever change how he feels nor the want to make you feel better when he has the chance to do so. 
Him being here right now is his way of proving that to you. 
A few minutes of silence goes by when you hear him chuckle. 
Feeling a tad bit curious, you turn your head slightly so that you can see him.  
“I see someone has gotten to you before I could.” Alva pointed out, noticing the cat that you’re still cuddling with. 
She looks up for a second, meows at him and lays her head back down, possibly wanting to get some sleep before the sun comes up. 
“She did.” You gave a small chuckle back, the tiredness of everything starting to catch up with you now that you’ve calmed down. 
Now that your face was more in range, he places a soft kiss on your nose, the small smile from you not going unnoticed. 
He gives you one more kiss but on the lips this time, he didn’t want to keep you awake for too long after all. Not when he can clearly see how tired you truly are. 
“Please, get some rest, my love.” Alva said, hoping that you’d be able to get some decent rest for tomorrow. 
Giving a small nod, you yawn before letting go of the cat, to which she didn’t like but she allowed you to do so. 
You turn around so now that you can bury your face into his chest, in case these thoughts do come back, you’ll have him right by you. 
Before falling asleep, you mutter a quiet “thank you, I love you, my dear” 
“I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel safe and better, my rose. You have my heart.” 
With those words repeating in your head, you’re able to finally drift off into a peaceful sleep. 
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istorkyou · 2 years
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When We Were Wild (Modern!Ivar AU)
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A Modern!Ivar x F Reader.
Warning - Mentions of violence. Language.
Synopsis - Best friends until….
Note - Everything in italics is a flashback.
Word count - 3263
As always, massive love to @punkrocknpearls​​​​ for talking me through this, the amazing beta (pretty sure she got the characters better than I did!) and for the fabulous moodboard above. You da BEST!
Tag List - As always, let me know if you want on or off
@smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls @youbloodymadgenius @momowhoo @zuxiezendler @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer @pieces-by-me @heavenly1927 @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint @out-of-the-box-and-into-alchemy @petite-hime @serasvictoria @mimiiinspace @itsmysticalmystery @lonewolf471 @mylifeisactuallyamess @grimeundglow @draculasbride-blog @love-all-things-writing @southernbe @redhead7799 @kaybee87 @ivarlover @ivarhoegh @freydis-tyrsdottir @idgafiamallthefandoms @darkphoenix5037 @profoundtyrantharmony @snarling-through-our-smiles @crazyunsexycool @xceafh​ @bragisrunes​
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
Chapter 7 - Final Chapter
You and Ivar have been together for five blissful months before the family business once again intrudes into your life together.
You are in a restaurant waiting for Ivar and he is late, not unlike him but it’s getting past an acceptable delay for you. You message him.
Where are you? I’m sitting here on my own like a shitting lemon.
“May I sit here?” The voice is deep and certainly does not belong to your Ivar. You look up into the face of a very tall, intimidating looking man, dark hair, dark beard. 
“No, my boyfriend will be coming soon.” You go back to your phone and see the message isn’t delivered. 
“Ah yes, Ivar will be here soon. In fact, he is just sitting outside in that car.” He points to an SUV with blacked out windows and sits down. “My name is Oleg, and you are?” 
You close your eyes and draw in a deep breath. So this is how it starts, how it's going to be forever? Until when? Until he turns up dead one day, or just disappears and you never know what’s happened to him? Until the fear takes over and you let your addict genes kick in and become an alcoholic to cope? Is this your life now? 
You’ve felt so settled recently. The anxious feeling that usually ticks along in your background has gone, the feeling of impending sadness has left you. You’ve been feeling nothing but a secure happiness, a contentment that you have never previously known. Now this asshole sitting in front of you has wiped all that positivity away and has replaced it with fear, dread, terror and a growing anger. On the plus side, at least you know how to function with those in your blood.
You open your eyes and look straight into his, no apprehension at all. “I’m none of your fucking business that’s who.” You look back to the car. “Show me him.” 
“You have no need to worry, he is perfectly fine,” he drawls slowly.
“Show me him or I will shove the steak knife into your neck without a second thought and deal with whatever consequences come after with a genuine fucking smile on my face.” A calm fear has settled over you. You are scared but you won’t show this man. The fear has made you hyper aware of everything and you notice two other men at another table who are clearly watching this all play out. 
Oleg studies your face closely, and raises one eyebrow at you. “This is not how I like to be spoken to by a lady.” 
“Well you are shit out of luck because I don’t care what you like, and I am not a lady. Show me him.” You move your hand slightly towards the knife. Oleg motions his hand and the window of the SUV is lowered and you can see Ivar’s face; he has a busted lip. His expression is one of terror; you know it’s for you and not for himself.
“Alright.” You turn back to Oleg. “What the fuck do you want?”
“Oh, I don’t want anything from you, although I did not know you would be this feisty and calm. I am simply showing your boyfriend and the rest of his family how easy it is to get to the ones the Lothbroks love. Do you work with the family? Your attitude would suit this work well.” 
You look back to the car but the window is up again and you can’t see Ivar now. 
Oleg leans forward and reaches out to your face but you slap his hand away without thinking. The two men you noticed stand up abruptly but Oleg motions for them to sit back down. 
“I like you.”
“Lucky me, give me back Ivar now. You’ve made your point.” 
“Yes, Ragnar should understand our reach now. I don’t think you should be mixed up with this family. Even Ivar stays on the periphery. He was a very easy target though…..”
You interrupt him, the fear for Ivar is building to a level inside that you are worried your calm exterior is going to slip soon. “Yeah, yeah, all very interesting. Give me back my guy now. He’s my guy, not Ragnar’s, he’s barely involved in the shit, whatever it is you all do. Pick someone else next time.” 
“I don’t think you are in any position to dictate to me.” 
“And yet I am. Hey, you” –you shout to Oleg’s men across the restaurant --“get him out the car.”
They look totally perplexed and look to Oleg for instruction. He is watching your face with an approving smile. You just raise your eyebrows at him in question then look back at the car. He motions again. 
“You are a fascinating creature. What are you doing with Ivar?”
You don’t even look at Oleg, your eyes are on the car. “Living my best fucking life.” Your body lets out a shuddering breath as you watch Ivar get out of the car. He is okay apart from the lip. You grab your coat and bag as you get up from the table. Oleg’s hand finds yours softly. Your eyes swing to his hand.
“I would very much like to get to know you better.”
You twist your hand out of his and run out of the restaurant to Ivar. You don’t hug him, you just grab his hand and lead him away, the need to get as much space between you and these people is what’s moving your feet. 
You hail down a cab and tell the driver to just drive and you direct him, you don't give him an address, you don’t want to risk going to your place or Ivar’s and being followed so you start directing him towards Ragnar's home. You finally look at Ivar whose face is covered in silent tears as he stares at you. 
“I’m so sorry…” he sobs out suddenly. You slide across the seat and wrap your arms around him, pulling his head to your chest. 
“Shhh shhh. Don’t say anything here.” You look at the taxi driver. You don’t trust anyone. 
When you get near the house you get the driver to pull over a few blocks away, pay him and walk in silence to the house. It seems empty so you take Ivar to his old bedroom and shut the door.
“My love, I’m so sorry, I am so sorry. I didn’t tell them where we were meeting. I promise you, I thought they were going to take you, or... Oh God, I’m going to be sick.” You run and get the bin for him to puke in. When he is finished you take the bin and clean it out. You still haven’t said anything to him. 
“What did he say to you? Are you okay?” He grabs at you and pulls you into him. “Love, say something!”
“I need to leave.”
He pulls away from you and stares into your eyes, you can’t make out the expressions that are racing over his face. 
“I’m leaving, Ivar. You are either coming with me or you aren’t.” You shrug at him. “You don’t know that I picked your mum up from rehab earlier this year do you?” He shakes his head and you and furrows his brow. 
“You we’re all in some talks about something so Ubbe asked me to. Anyway, she doesn’t want this life for you. The family business. She petrified you will lose yourself in the violence of it all. We all know you enjoy it, but you’ve held back, for me she says.”
He looks at you through the side of his eye. “I’ve always been scared you will be dragged into it and you were today. I would die if something happened to you.”
“Your mum said something to me that scared me. She said she can’t leave Ragnar because she needs his protection. I don’t want that to be us, Ivar. I won’t be used again in my life. I won’t be threatened, I won’t feel scared for the rest of my life just because of what you do. It took me years to feel secure and what’s happened today has just set me back months, years even. I basically saw my life flash before me if I stay here, the constant fear of not knowing if you are going to come home every evening, the anxiety every time I answer the phone or someone knocks at the door. I know how I would end up coping with that level of stress. I would do what my parents did, what your mum did. I would become my parents. So I am leaving. Are you coming with me?” You are emotionless. A barrier has gone up within you. 
He reads you like a book. “Don’t do that. Don’t cut me out, I can see the coldness in your eyes. Please don’t look at me like that, not me, love. I’m so sorry…” He pulls you for a kiss, cupping your face gently. “Don’t cut me out, of course I’m coming with you. Let’s go. Go now. I’ve got cash, our passports are at my place from the holiday. We can buy anything else we need. It’s us, love, forever. I’m so sorry.” 
The whimper that leaves you reflects how you feel: pure relief. You don’t know what you would have done if he said he wasn’t coming with you. Your legs turn to jelly and you sink to the floor in front of him, barriers down, all your hardness gone in an instant. 
He sits on the bed and you put your head in his lap and start to cry. “Oh, thank fuck!” you whimper between sobs.
“Silly little Shitball! As if I would allow you to leave without me. There is not one thing in this whole world I would pick over you, love” he says softly and he smooths your hair. 
“Ivar?” Aslaugs voice comes from behind the door then walks into the room. “I’ve got money. We talked about this didn't we, dear?” She nods at you. “Sorry for eavesdropping. I don’t know what happened today, but you two should leave. Soon. Here,” –she hands Ivar an envelope stuffed full of money --“You two have something too special to waste in this life.”
“Come with us, Aslaug.” You grab her hand. “You can get away.”
She gives you such a regretful smile that your tears automatically fall. “You are so kind, dear. I cannot. I will visit a lot when everything is safe. I will explain to Ragnar. You’ve managed to keep out of the business enough that it shouldn’t be a problem, you will get the clean break you need. I’m very excited for the pair of you. Do not get married without me, I am warning you both!” She pulls you both into her for a cuddle. 
“I said it from the minute I met you, Dear. You were always each other’s destinies. Now go, call me when you settle on where you are going. I love you both.”
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The year you have been travelling with Ivar has been the most fun of your lives. You have been to sixteen countries and have had adventures you didn’t think you ever would. You've experienced cultures so interesting it’s made you both not want to leave, but you need to go home now. 
You’ve decided to settle two hours away from where you both grew up: far enough that he won’t get dragged back into the bullshit but close enough that his family and your friends can still be part of your lives. 
Ivar has spoken to Ragnar who assured him that the two of you will be safe. That all potential issues were ironed out months back and that the man from the restaurant is no longer in operation. Whatever that means; you don’t want to know. 
When the plane lands, you look at each other and he gives you a soft kiss. “Onto the next adventure, Shitball.” 
When you walk through the arrivals doors you hear a cheer from your right and then total silence. Aslaug, Ubbe, Hvitserk and some of your friends are waiting to greet you. All their faces are in total shock, as they look you up and down. All except Aslaug, she just looks ecstatic.
“Surprise!” Ivar jokes as he gives your swollen stomach a rub. “She ate too much in the Philippines.”
“Ugh, he’s all about the dad jokes since he knocked me up.” You roll your eyes. 
Aslaug walks towards you and embraces you tightly. “Didn’t I always say you would give me grand babies?”
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“Shitball, we need to get going, come on, love,” –he slaps you on your ass –“get up or we will miss the boat.” 
“Ivar, I don’t want to go, I don’t feel great, I was sick in the night. I think it was the fish, do you feel okay?” 
“You were sick? Why didn’t you wake me? I feel okay, we had the same, right?” He leans over and feels your forehead. “You don’t feel hot.”
“You go, I will sleep it off.” 
“No way, I’m not leaving you if you are ill.”
“No, you are definitely going. You missed out snorkelling in Bali because of the storm, I don’t want you missing out again, you’ve been so excited. I will be okay, I will probably feel better later anyway.”
“Are you sure? I’ll keep my phone on and I will be back if you need anything.”
“Take the waterproof camera, get great shots, okay?” 
He peppers you with kisses, shouting out he loves you as he leaves your room. 
You go back to sleep but wake up exhausted and are still feeling so sick. You are staying in a hut over the water, well, it’s not really a hut, it’s a villa, very posh, and upmarket with an outside area looking out over the ocean. You’ve been staying in hostels and crappy hotels for the last few months and Ivar needs better conditions for a while. His legs haven’t been playing up too badly but he hasn’t been resting them anywhere near enough because he doesn’t want to miss out on anything. You decided to use some of his Mother's money to have a luxury three week break in Fiji.
Mid afternoon you call for room service; the nausea is still with you but so is a ravenous hunger. When the food is delivered you let the woman from the resort into your room but you have to leave her to vomit again. 
“Miss, are you okay?” You come out of the bathroom and sit on the edge of the bed trying to breathe away the sickness. 
“Sorry. Don’t feel good today.” You smile as she pours your fizzy water. 
“Ginger will help, Miss.” She gestures toward your stomach. “It is good to settle the baby sickness.” 
You take a sip of your water and then register what she has said and laugh. “Oh it’s not that. It’s something I’ve eaten.”
“Oh, sorry, Miss. I just assumed…” 
She uncovers your lunch and you tip her nicely for having to listen to you being sick. 
As you eat your fruit you try to remember your last period. Where were you? What country? New Zealand? No. Fuck! Was it the Philippines? You get up and grab your phone. The Philippines was 9 weeks ago. 
Fuck. 
You’d run out of your contraceptive pill months ago, you didn’t have the time to refill it before you and Ivar took off but you’ve been using condoms. Mostly. 
Fuck. 
You puke again. 
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“Shitball! It was fucking amazing! I’ve booked us to go again in a few days, it was incredible. Shitball, where are you? How are you feeling?” 
“Outside.”
He drops onto the loungers next to yours. You are sitting with your legs drawn to your chest and you are still crying. 
You turn to Ivar and watch as his face drops. “What’s wrong? Oh fuck what’s happened?” He is next to you in a heartbeat, pulling your legs down so he can hug you closely. He pulls back and cups your face. 
“Tell me what’s happened. We don’t lie to each other.”
You can’t look at him, you just gesture towards something on the side table. He leans over and picks it up. You can’t look at him. 
“I’m sorry,” you sniff.
“What is this? Is this a pregnancy test?” His face is blank but his eyes are wide open. 
“I’m sorry, Ivar.”
He just stares at the test, then at you, then back to the test. 
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yes. I’m so sorry.” 
His head drops into his hands. “I can’t believe it.”
“I’m sorry,” you start to sob as you watch him process what you’ve just dropped on him. 
“Hey! HEY! Why are you crying? Why are you apologising to me? This is the best news of my whole life, love!” 
“You’re happy?” 
“Of course I am! Aren’t you? We are going to have a baby,” he says quietly. “WE ARE HAVING A BABY!” he shouts out into the ocean, then turns back to you with elation in his face. His excitement fades when he looks at your dejection. He pulls you to him and smooths your hair down soothingly. 
“I can hear your thoughts,” he whispers. “You won’t be like them, you won’t be anything like them. You will be an excellent mother, the best mother in the whole world, love. You know that’s right?!”
“What if I am like them? What if I freak out and can’t handle it? What if it’s too much? What if you leave us?” 
He lets out a gentle laugh. “My love. You are nothing like them now, why would having a baby change that, hey? I know you know I’m never leaving you, so I won’t answer that, you are just freaking out, we will be together even when we are ghosts, love. How many months are you?”
“I think maybe a little over two? No period since the first week in the Philippines.” You grab the bin you’ve taken from the bathroom and puke into it, unsure if it’s the pregnancy hormones or nerves that are making you sick now. Ivar shifts on the seat and rubs your back. 
“What are we going to do? Go home? Carry on travelling? Shit, we need to get you a checkup by a doctor. No more sushi, no more alcohol, no more… I don’t know what else pregnant women can’t have!”
At the mention of sushi you throw up again. He leans down to talk to your stomach. “Stop giving Mama such a hard time, little one.” He sits bolt upright like it’s just hit him. Using the word Mama made it hit him. “Oh my God, we are going to have a baby. Oh my God!” He stands up then sits back down, then stands up, then sits back down, hands laced behind his head, face pale.
You can’t help but laugh at him. “Ivar, are you okay?Just breath, love.” 
“Oh my God, we are going to have a baby!” And with that he bursts into tears. Happy tears. 
“Oh Ivar, my love. Get a shitting grip,” you exclaim in exasperation. “No God is going to help you now. You’re basically fucked, especially if this baby grows into a teenager who is as wild as we were…”
He turns to you with dread on his face and you both start laughing. 
FIN
Thanks so much for reading :) 
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gravitypictureshow · 10 months
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Roy/Reader Snippet
Hello! I've been working on a Roy/reader piece, and I wanted to post a small snippet of it here to see if there would be any interest in it. There isn't much content out there for him which makes me sad, so I figured I'd do it myself >:). It is a bit suggestive, and there probably will be nsfw when it's done, so just a heads up. Please let me know if you'd be interested in seeing the finished product!
Content warnings: Asphyxiation, verbal threats, physical violence (non graphic), being stepped on, Roy being Roy
“Awwwwww…”
The sound was a low drawl, dripping with venom and mockery. You squeezed your arms up against your body as if that would provide you some protection against the humiliation that seeped into every inch of your body with his voice. Slowly, the figure emerged from the shadows, narrow eyes gleaming in the little light visible from the screen of the machine in front of you.
“Yoouuuu pooooooorrrrr thing… you actually thought I was going to let you…gooooo?”
Words, any words, tried desperately to fight their way up your throat, but were pushed down by an invisible barrier. You wanted to yell at him, or say anything, or do anything, any act of defiance against your inevitable fate. But fear had paralyzed you.
He slinked closer to you. One, scruffy felt tube of an arm looped on it’s way up to your face, and he brushed a hair out of your face. Your eyes darted away. You didn’t want to look directly at him. You though you heard a small sound from under his breath, almost a cackle. Within half a second you felt your skull slamming into the tile beneath you, sending a sharp pain reverberating through it. You felt a firm pressure on your neck, just beneath your chin. The force is enough to make your breaths grow heavier, your lungs desperately trying to suck in whatever air they can through your trapped throat. As your vision finally settles, as your mind finally gets a grip on what’s happening, you see your captor, firmly pressing his foot against your windpipe. You give a reflexive gulp. Red floods to your cheeks, the rush of adrenaline seems to wake up every part of your stiff body. Your pulse quickens. All the thoughts in your mind scramble.
Roy sneers “You should learn you can’t get out from under me that easily… I take my deals rather seriously, you know…”
Your eyes do their best to dart away, but without being able to turn your head you can’t get him out of your frame of sight. The rush from when he slammed you down hasn’t dissipated, your breath is picking up… all you can do is stare in horror, in awe, and the man who has you right under his foot. You’re truly trapped.
Roy’s expression suddenly shrinks back to his usual, blank stare. He cocks his head slightly, his eyes narrowing. They reminded you of a camera lens, zooming in and out on its object of focus, trying to commit every detail to memory so it can later be analyzed. You suddenly felt as if you were a little bug on a slide, under the eye of a great microscope picking out things even you weren’t able to see about yourself.
“Wait…” Suddenly, that smile crawled back across your captor’s face. He leaned in close, so close, that the tip of his nose almost touched your own. His foot remained planted on your throat, the pressure increased slightly. It seemed his stretchy frame had no limits, as the bodies of other puppets did. “From that look…plassstered on your pooooooor facccccceeee… I’d almossssttt think… you were enjoying thiiisssssss…”
The hunger in his eyes was apparent as he fixed them on yours. You felt his foot lift off slightly, just enough to allow you to speak. Sadly, only stutters, gasps and broken words find their way between your lips. “I-I…I don’t kn– I just– I–” 
Roy’s eyes narrow as he slams his foot back down on your throat, sending another wave of sparks through your mind. “I assssskkkked you for aaaannnn awnsssser… don’t tell me you plan to deprave me of thhhhhaaatt tooooooo?” His eyes twinkle like those of a cat batting a lizard between its paws as he moves his foot around a little.
You try to force out words. Roy lets up on the pressure again, apparently feeling merciful enough to give you a second chance.
“I–I didn’t think I’d…I mean yes…” You force the answer out. If you dared lie, he would probably snap your neck right then and there. Better to be embarrassed and slightly disgusted with yourself then dead.
“Yessssss?” Roy asked, the mockery in his tone practically soaking your mind.
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I know I keep saying this but I really like the way obi-wan is characterised in M&A. Usually I find authors write him as overly passive and meek, or a kindly old emotionally-distant mentor, but this feels a lot more authentic. He’s very observant, eager to impress people he respects, he LOVES the sound of his own voice and is very sure of what he’s saying, and while he’s kind and polite he does have a petty mean streak in him
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spenciegoob · 3 years
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Dethroned (Requested)
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A/N: I know the request said the relationship between Reader and Luke is platonic, but I kinda dropped subtle hints that Luke is slightly pining for Reader... oop.
Request: smutty post-prison Reid being jealous. Like him just being absolutely in love with reader, like he had been since she joined the BAU but was too nervous to say anything so settled for being mega close best friends. Then when he returns from prison he finds out that her and Luke have become close friends whilst he’s been gone (its simply platonic though) and he ends up snapping and just absolutely annihilating the reader over her desk in the office after everyone else has left
Pairing: Post Prison!Spencer x Fem!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warning: jealous!spencer, exhibition, hair pulling, degradation/praise, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink
Masterlist
Word Count: 3.9K
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It was a gradual realization on his part. Spencer was so overwhelmed with coming home, his mom and Cat to even really take notice in the shift of your attention from him to Luke Alvez.
It wasn’t like you completely ignored him since his return. You were Spencer’s best friend, the title he settled on all those years ago when you all but skipped into the BAU and into his life.
And it wasn’t like you didn’t have other male friends. Before his leave, Derek and you had gotten along pretty well right off the bat, and Spencer never thought about it twice. If anything, he was ecstatic that two people that were so important in his life were also important to each other.
But when Spencer was stuck behind physical bars that represented every feeling for you he’s tried to keep at bay, you found comfort in Luke. He couldn’t blame you for that either, especially when the first time you visited him all he could see was hurt in your eyes, and all he could do was stare back with the same expression.
The first time he noticed the shift was after everything had settled, and the groove of life, for the team at least, was back in motion. You all had decided to go out and grab a drink, and the second you agreed, Spencer was also on board. He would follow you just about anywhere if it meant the smile on your face when he said yes stayed forever.
Luke had whispered something in your ear, the music in the bar too loud for Spencer to catch what it was. It had to be hilarious by the way you threw your head back in laughter, Luke’s eyes immediately dropping to the newly exposed skin, before nudging his shoulder with yours. 
Spencer couldn't keep his eyes off the conversation in front of him. He should have when the grip on his glass was so hard it could’ve shattered. 
“You know, kid, if you talked to her, she’d know how you feel,” Rossi had told him that night.
“That’s exactly why I can’t,” Spencer thought in his head, but merely gave Rossi a whatever, and walked away to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror that night, hoping the disgust he felt for how angry he got whenever he saw you with Luke was enough to make it disappear.
It never did.
Like right now, Spencer sat at his desk, a rubber band ball being suffocated in his hand as he watched you perch yourself on top of Luke’s desk. It was an innocent act on you part, but the way Luke leaned back in his chair, opening himself up to you, and allowed his eyes to flicker to your bare legs that were swinging back and forth softly was definitely not innocent... not in Spencer’s book anyway.
It came as no surprise to Spencer that Luke would at the very least find you attractive. You were, in every aspect. Spencer could stare at your for hours, and sometimes, he did.
He would look at the way your skirt hugged your curves in the best possible way, or he would stare at your neck when you leaned back to stretch out. He would watch the way you crossed and uncrossed your legs, a nervous habit you’ve always had. Spencer would think about how soft they probably were, like silk rubbing against each other.
But now Luke was also looking at you like that while you talked about what you were going to do this weekend. 
“If you’re not busy, you should totally come,” you told him, obviously excited with the idea of Luke tagging along to wherever you planned on going.
“Yeah, I think I can make that work,” he agreed, and when he did, you jumped up off his desk, enthusiasm practically dripping from you.
“Yes! It’ll be so much fun, I promise!” And then you did the one thing Spencer silently begged you would never. You kissed Luke on the cheek before scurrying back to your desk.
Of course you would kiss him on the cheek. To you, that was a seemingly innocent and friendly action, one that Spencer had been on the receiving end of for the past 10 years. 
But now, Luke stole his crown and was flaunting it in front of Spencer’s face like an older brother who just got an XBOX for Christmas. Okay, maybe Spencer was a tad on the dramatic side, but how could he not be when Luke all but physically railed you over his desk when his eyes unashamedly did?
There were many things Spencer could take and get back up like nothing had happened. He’s been shot, punched, kicked, framed for murder and hell, he even stabbed himself, but none of that compared to the deep rooted anger that blossomed in his chest like a flame to gasoline when the thought of Luke touching you swarmed his brain.
Enough was enough.
“Alright, you’ve all worked enough today. Please, go home and get some rest,” Emily’s voice traveled from outside her office door to the agents that still inhabited the bullpen like a second home. Most, including Emily in its rarity, gathered their stuff to finally call it a night.
“So, you’ll text me the information?” Luke asked you as he was putting his jacket on. You had yet to move from your slouched position over whatever paperwork you insisted on finishing before leaving. 
“Yeah, definitely!” You beamed up at him before returning back to your case file immediately. Luke walked away with a little more pep in his step than usual per Spencer’s analysis. 
“Hey, Spence. Do you think you can hang back a second and look over this for me?” You asked him, catching the attention of the stumbling genius as he tried to get back to his apartment as fast as possible and deal with his... issues with you and SSA Luke Alvez.
He was going to say no, really he tried, but when he looked up to your puppy dog eyes and slight pout, how could he? Spencer knew you were giving him that face on purpose, he had told you in the past that if you were to ever give him your best puppy dog eyes, he could never refuse.
Now it was coming back to bite him in the...
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Spencer made his way over to your desk that was piled high in paperwork more than anyone else’s.
“I took a bunch of work home, and I accidentally dropped all my files and they scattered every where. So now, all the paperwork is mixed up and Emily needs these by tonight. Basically I’m screwed, but I just wanted to make sure the arsonist in Kentu-”
“I’ll help you,” Spencer interrupted your rambling once he got a grip on himself after adjusting to being so close to you. The smell of your perfume wafted into Spencer’s nose and got him drunk faster than any alcohol could ever. 
“Oh no, Spence. Don’t worry I can handle this,” you immediately shut him down, but Spencer was not easy to convince, and once his mind is set to something, there’s no changing it.
“I want to, trust me.” Spencer had started to roll his desk chair over to you. You sat there momentarily stunned for two reasons:
1. He had dropped everything to help you.
2. He wasn’t affected by the close proximity of you two the same way you were, or at least knew how to hide it really well.
The buzzing of your phone on your desk pulled you from your trance as Spencer settled next to you and went to pull a new file from your overgrowing pile. 
You picked it up to find a text from Luke, opening your phone to a picture of Roxy enjoying the toy you got her last week.
Spencer turned to you to find you smiling and letting out a breathy laugh at your phone.
“What?” He asked, more sarcasm dripping from his tone than expected. If you noticed, you didn’t say anything.
“Just Luke and Roxy. I love that dog so much,” you said while putting your phone on silent and setting it face down. You didn’t look up at Spencer, but if you did you’d find him beet red with anger, and holding the armrests of his chair a little tighter than necessary. 
“Hm,” was all he mumbled in response. This, you didn’t ignore.
“Is something wrong? You really don't have to do this with me,” you fumbled over your words, worried that your clumsiness and disorganization was what was annoying Spencer.
“No no, it’s not this. I like paperwork, actually.” You finally looked over at Spencer to find him already staring at you. His gaze bore into you like a blade to the gut, his intensity something you had never been on the receiving end of. It would be a lie if you were to say it wasn’t making you nervous.
“Then what is it.” Your words were not meant to come out as a whisper, but with Spencer’s intimidation and the way it made your stomach flip, you were overwhelmed already.
“Nothing, just, uh,” his confident persona was gone just as quickly as it came. “You and Luke, huh?”
Now it makes sense. You couldn’t help the small smile that etched across your features at his unknowing admission. Spencer Reid was jealous, actually jealous.
“Yeah, he’s a great friend.” Your emphasis on the word friend did not go unnoticed by Spencer, but he couldn’t stop himself from letting the words crawling up his throat out.
“I’m sure he thinks the same about you. The profile in this case fi-”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Two can play at this game, and if it was going to end the way the two of you were unknowingly both hoping, you would have to succumb to the rules.
“Hm? Oh! So you’re oblivious to the way he looks at you?” Spencer spat back, jealous intimidation turning to full anger now.
“Jesus, Spencer. Of course I’m not oblivious, but that doesn’t mean I look at him like that.” At this point, you stood up from your chair, Spencer’s approach throwing you off and getting you more worked up than you cared to admit.
“Besides, I have eyes for someone else,” you mumbled quietly under your breath, but Spencer caught it. “I’m calling the night. I suggest you do the same.”
You picked up as many files you could, not wanting to reach over Spencer before turning around to make you descent home.
Before you could get far, though, Spencer grabbed your elbow and spun you back to crash into his hard chest. You gasped, not making eye contact and instead opting for staring at his lips.
“Who?” Spencer asked, also not looking up from your lips. Both of your minds swarmed with the desperation to feel each other’s against your own.
“You.” And that was all he needed to finally succumb to his mind’s wishes. Your lips moved together like a violin bow to a string, creating a perfectly conducted symphony of files falling from your arms and deep inhales of each other.
Spencer reached out behind you, never taking his lips off yours and pushed anything that was on your desk with a deafening crash. Pens, papers and tape now littered the bullpen floor, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when all you could feel were Spencer’s hands gripping your waist as he hoisted you up to sit you on your now clear desk.
His lips finally detached from yours, the need for oxygen getting in the way of a kiss you wish could last for eternity. They didn’t go very far, Spencer attacking your neck with little nips, surely to leave incriminating bruises. Your hips started to involuntarily roll forward, searching for friction from his hardening member still constrained by his work slacks.
“Spencer, please,” you begged, needing to feel him, all of him at this moment. His lips abandoned your neck to slowly pull back and scan your body like a predator indulging in his final prey one last time before he answered.
“Please what, Princess,” Spencer whispered, his hands moving down to grip your thighs that were attempting to squeeze together at your new pet name.
“Please, fuck me,” you whimpered back. His deep chuckle resonated through you as he leaned closer until he was directly next to your ear, his hot breath fanning down your neck causing you to arch your back slightly.
“Right here on your desk like a little whore,” he whispered against you, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. Spencer shook his head slightly as he pulled back to grab your chin lightly with two fingers, forcing your head back.
He leaned in as close as possible to whisper against your lips one last time. “Only for you.”
Time stopped as hands sped up in a frenzy to rip each other’s clothes off, lips molding together like a lock and key never wanting to separate, and hips involuntarily grinding against each other in search for some friction in an overwhelming search for release.
Only when Spencer gave up on your shirt buttons and ripped the fabric apart, adding drums in the form of buttons hitting the desk and floor to the song you two collectively decided to dance to tonight, did he allow his lips to leave yours. Slowly, he nipped his way back down your neck, pushing you back softly until your body fully rolled down on the cool wood underneath you. 
Spencer’s eyes found yours again as his hands inched behind you, silently asking for permission to break down yet another barrier between your two bodies. After a pleading whimper from you, he unclasped your bra and slowly pulled it down your arms. 
Spencer maintained eye contact as he wrapped his mouth around your nipple, swirling his tongue around the peak before sinking his teeth in teasingly. Your back arched into him, a strangled whimper leaving your body as the heat between your thighs increased significantly.
“Spencer please hurry. I need you,” you whimpered softly, pulling his hair back from the top of his head in hopes of getting him in an area far more dire in need of attention. 
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” Spencer mumbles in between kisses inching back up your body. His hands make their way under your skirt as he continues. “I want to take my time with you, but given our circumstances,” he paused to take a look at the deserted bullpen. “I’ll give you what you want, and fuck you like a whore.”
There was no other way to explain the way Spencer ripped your panties off so hard the lace snapped under his force than animalistic. He wasted no time stuffing them into his back pocket, and fully separating from you to stand straight and unbuckle his belt. Spencer’s eyes stared down at you, taking in every part of your body to file away in his brain in case he ever needs it. His once honey brown orbs were now absorbed with black, his pupils full and his eyes displaying a kind of fire only lust can fuel.
Once his belt was fully off, he smirked and folded it in his hands. Staring at the new object of his desire, he tantalizingly shook it back and forth slowly, watching the way it bounced with his movements.
“Should I gag you with this so you don't alert the whole goddamn building of how desperate you are?” Spencer looked back at you to find your cheeks a deep shade of red, partially at his degrading tone, but mostly at the idea of being gagged.
“No, sir. I wanna feel you.” The title slipped past your lips with no control or hesitation. Your cheeks burned further as Spencer’s movements stopped, his eyes widening slightly. 
“Fuck it,” he whispered before throwing the belt on the floor and unzipping his pants with more speed than you've ever seen him move. 
Spencer gave you zero time to even register his size before he was stepping in between your legs, lining himself up and slamming into you to the hilt with one hand, the other grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling back hard, all while never taking his eyes off you.
You couldn’t stop the loud gasp leaving your body as Spencer groaned at the feeling of you around him.
“God, you’re so fucking tight, Princess,” he grounded out, the soft growl in his tone causing you to whimper and clench around him.
When he felt you start to squirm underneath him after adjusting to his size, Spencer started to move, setting a brutal pace immediately. Your entire body felt like it became engulfed in flames, the feeling of Spencer repeatedly hitting the sweetest spot inside you over and over with a force unmatched was too much to handle.
Tears started to well in your eyes as the soft whimpers and pleads left your lips. Spencer pulled himself from his position tucked neatly into your neck to stare down at you, never relenting on his pace.
“What’s wrong, Princess,” he teased, a smirk growing across his features at your tears. “Is it too much for your little cunt? What happened to the girl that begged to be fucked like a whore?”
Spencer let go of his grip on your hair to wipe the tears blackened with mascara that were running down your face. 
“So good, sir. Please don’t stop,” you mumbled, only half coherent. The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Spencer filling you completely. His dark eyes flickered down from your face only for a second, but when he looked back up at you, excitement joined the lust in them, a swirl of emotions destined to destroy you in the end.
Spencer grabbed one of your hands that was gripping his shoulder, nails digging into the skin and leaving marks he wished would last forever. He placed in on your stomach, and confusion filled your mind for a moment until you felt the tip of his cock hit your hand.
“You feel that, Princess? You feel how deep I am? I’m gonna fill you up.” Your back arched, and you finally released a loud, wanton moan at his words. Spencer didn’t miss the way you clenched around him tighter at the thought. “God, I’m gonna fill you up with my cum, make you - fuck- carry my child. Make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”
You felt the knot in your stomach growing tighter with each word, and when Spencer lifted one of your legs into the crook of his elbow, hitting you impossibly deeper, you knew you weren't going to last much longer.
“Oh G-god, Spence. I- I’m gonna....”
“It’s okay, Princess. I’ve got you,” he groaned back, lifting two fingers to your lips before forcing them into your mouth. Instinctively, you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked on his digits. “Let go, Princess.”
All you needed was his permission before letting your orgasm rock through you, the muscles in your body seemingly losing and gaining all the tension in the world at once, your vision going white, and your mind blank except for one thought; Spencer.
Your loud moans were blocked by his fingers pushing deeper down your throat, catching them before any unwanted guests could hear. 
Your moans started to turn to whimpers around his fingers as the overstimulation kicked in. Spencer could sense it by the way you still clung to him as tightly as possible.
“Fuck that’s it. You’re doing so well, Princess, taking all of me,” he growled out, his hips losing their rhythm, signaling his own impending orgasm. Spencer leaned down further, pushing your leg farther up in the process, and again, hitting you deeper than imaginable.
Two more sloppy thrusts in that position, and Spencer was coming deep in you with your name and different praises being groaned in your ear. He bottomed out once more, coming to a stop buried deep, both of you trying your hardest to catch your breath.
When he started to pull out, you whimpered immediately at the feeling.
“I know, sweetheart. I’m almost done,” Spencer whispered, caressing your cheek as he fully unsheathed himself. The abandoned weight of him on top of you, and the loss of his cock filling you up left you cold as he went to rummage through your drawers for tissues, but all you could do was stare up at the lights hanging from the ceiling, your body still slightly twitching.
When Spencer returned to you, he sat you up and kissed your forehead before reaching in between your legs to clean you up. The second the tissue hit your sensitive cunt, you winced.
Spencer looked back up at you but before he could say anything, you cut him off.
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” you reassured him, smiling softly as you reached up to caress his cheek. Upon your approval, he went back to cleaning you up. “Actually, I’m more than okay. That was.. That was-”
“Yeah,” he said, chuckling slightly and shaking his head. “I know, right?”
“Maybe we should thank Luke,” you teased him. Immediately, his smile faded and he looked up at you with an expression that can only read “Seriously?”
You let out a full laugh now, obviously still entertained with the idea that the Dr. Spencer Reid was jealous of Luke Alvez.
“I’m joking,” you said, your smile turning from one of hilarity to adoration as Spencer straightened back up to stand between your legs and wrap his arms around your waist. “And Spence, it’s always been you. Not Luke, not anyone else. You.” You emphasized your point by jabbing a finger into his chest.
“Good, because that would make this really awkward,” he said back. You tilted your head in confusion to which he laughed at before continuing. “Do you want to go grab dinner?”
Your cheeks blushed profusely as he asked you out as if you didn’t just let him take you over your own desk at work. 
“I would love to say yes, but I still have to finis-” When you turned around to look at the pile of paperwork you had yet to complete, it was no longer on your desk, but scattered around it. During the rush of trying to feel each other completely, the two of you failed to notice the stack of files that started this whole thing had fallen all over the bullpen floor.
“Emily is going to kill me,” you said, turning back to Spencer who was still staring at the now empty spot on your desk.
“Actually, she has two reasons to kill us now.” You threw you head back in laughter, Spencer joining you at the thought of Emily finding out about the last 30 minutes. “But seriously, you go deal with the security footage, and I’ll deal with the paperwork.”
“Hmmmm...” You pretended to ponder the thought of not having to do all of that paperwork by yourself anymore. “Deal.”
“Deal,” Spencer repeated back, smiling softly before kissing you one more time.
__
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thebibliosphere · 3 years
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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!
I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.
I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.
I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.
I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.
There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.
Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)
So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.
When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 
But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.
And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)
There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.
I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.
Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.
(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)
And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.
“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”
Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.
Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.
Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 
To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 
Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 
Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 
If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.
This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P
Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 
----
*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.
** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.
*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 
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4dtk · 3 years
Text
NCT DREAM: talking back to them and getting punished
anon: “hii ! can i have nct dream reaction to their s/o talk back to them and they doesnt happy with it and punish their s/o 🥺” hi love, sure i can. for this reaction, the boys takes up the dom role and the reader is fem, hope you don’t mind ^^
just for discretion, hate sex is hot and all but please talk out your problems and don’t solve it just by fucking 😭
NSFW under the cut, MINORS DNI!
→ MARK’s head tilts, and pleas one last time with something like “you don’t really mean that, right?” or something like that. when he gets your final word and you start to remove yourself from the argument he pulls you back. his eyes are darker, eyelids hooded. he’s intimidating!!!!! mark’s the kind to lose himself whenever he looks at you, ngl, but he knows his feelings aren’t alone and that you feel the heat and tension. i see him making you sit on his face and eating you out like no tomorrow. mark also gives off the no clothes humping vibe, where your pussy lips fit so perfectly on his curved dick and the friction makes your toes curl. the man is losing it, respectfully. imo, like i mentioned earlier, mark’s the one with the wavering dom role so he def forgets about the punishment halfway through and relishes in the way you feel around his cock.
“i want you to cum on my cock, baby, as much as i want it on my face,” mark says breathlessly, pulling away from your pussy. his hair is slick with sweat, having your thighs around his head for the past half n’ hour. you twitch as he places one last kiss on your clit, moving your ass backwards to finally get his dick in you.
"ah but," mark raises an eyebrow, "did i say now?" you're caught off guard when he forces your hips down on his exposed dick. the friction has you groaning, leaking even more now.
"move." he says. one word and you're moving your middle against the underside of his cock, your lips nicely fitted that it makes even mark moan out. the wet, filthy sounds fill the room and marks adds to your mewls. with a hand, he sneaks it behind you to play with your pussy, causing you to let out a choked whimper that has him smiling.
mark's grip on your hips tenses, eyes fluttering close in bliss when he sees the string of his pre-cum and your arousal connect each time you grind on his length, "atta girl, just like that. you'll be soaking the sheets once i'm done with you."
→ RENJUN tuts when you talk back to him, surprisingly calm when he looks you up and down. you done fucked up now bitch he’s going to ruin you!!! renjun’s movements are extremely slow, in fingering you, in licking your cunt, in pumping his cock in and out. its a punishment baby take it like it is he says! has a thing for blindfolds too, i feel, seeing the way your mouth opens to let out obscene moans that resonate throughout the room. RENJUN MAKES YOU SIT IN FRONT OF MIRROR 100%, “do you see my cock going in and out of you?” and he’s still going painfully slow that you try to rock your hips to get some kind of release.
“even when i’m punishing you, you still find a way to make a mistake,” renjun hums, eyeing you through the mirror as your fucked-out face is tilted back from the immense pleasure.
“darling, look at yourself, losing it over some cock,” renjun spits, delivering a particularly hard thrust that sends your body shaking. he takes your face with force, dipping a finger into your mouth which you suck on without hesitation.
“jun.... junnie, please go faster, please... i just-” you plead, locking eyes with renjun through your reflection. there’s a laugh coming from renjun, knowing you were in a long ride when he slips a blindfold on you. he loves his cock buried in you, but pulls out anyway and leaves you empty. 
a particularly loud moan leaves your lips as his tongue laps up your arousal from behind, hand stroking his shaft while your hands grab at the sheets in pleasure.
“keep looking at yourself, baby, look at how much of a slut you’re being.”
→ JENO tries to hold back like jaemin but his cool is easier to lose than the latter. jeno doesn’t hold back in giving you glares that translate exactly what he’s feeling. imo, he’s usually taken the back seat in your sex life, and is perfectly content with it, but one day he just sticks his hand up your skirt or whatever and fingers you in public!!! mans crazy luv!!! there’s something about you holding back your moans that turns him on so much. if it happens in the dorms? not prooooblem, he makes sure that everyone has their eyes focused on something, like a dream movies night before his hand inches up your thigh and you’re finally like “ohhh… this is why he’s been so passive aggressively polite since our argument” LOOL you’re biting on the cushion you were cuddling with head thrown back, silent pants spilling from your lips at how skilled jeno is with his fingers. everything after that is kept indoors, he likes the thrill but would rather deal with you privately.
the slam of the door makes you gasp, and the shove of your body against it makes you moan out accidentally. the glint in jeno’s eyes is mischievous, waving the hands that was just in your pussy in front of your face.
“that’s how wet you were, baby?” jeno hums, holding your stare like a champ as you try to not to wriggle in his grasp. jeno tsks, hovering them in front of your mouth, “suck.” you don’t lose any time, mouth immediately engulfing his digits to suck your juices off of him. a thigh’s situated in your middle, the other’s smile widening when he sees your attempts of getting off.
the feeling of your clothed core against his denim is sinful, yet so pleasure as your hips pick up the speed. it’s so much that your hand’s clutched around his bicep, nails digging into his skin at the friction. jeno moans at your vulnerable state, his other hand picking you up so he could at least sit down. the presence of a surface gives you more motivation to move, having a stable place to rest your knees on as you continued your humping, whimpering into jeno’s ears as he guides your hips with ease.
“you’re going to stay at this volume as i fuck you senseless. need to teach you a lesson, baby.”
→ HAECHAN is the meanest dom you could ever piss the fuck off. not afraid to let your sounds of pleasure reach the living room of the dorm (assuming he’s living with 127) that taeyong had to sit him down and reluctantly tell him to tone it down a little. arguments with haechan are trivial, sometimes about the littlest of things that piss you off as well because he’s so infuriating to convince/be on the same page as. you say one thing out of pocket once, and haechan is fuming inside because he knows it’s not true. orgasm denier, loves doing it to you. your sheets are soaked by the end of it, and god you haven’t even came yet!!!! what a bitch!!!! let y/n cum hyuck :/
“not so righteous right now, (y/n)?” haechan smirks, ignoring the glare you give him as you’re pinned under him. he revels in the rage you’re radiating, knowing he’ll make it all go away once his mouth’s on your pussy. you’re resisting him right until his lips are on your neck, sucking at the skin there. the whimpers that leave your mouth goes straight to haechan’s cock, but he has to hold it in until you learn your lesson.
“o..oh hyuck, fuck! please let me c-cum…!” haechan’s having the time of his life, licking up your slick as his fingers are pumping in and out of you, reading your body like a hawk. he knows when you’re reaching your end and denies another one from you, the thrashing around from you held down by his arm.
“let’s test you, hm?” haechan giggles, taking out his dick from the loose sweatpants he had on. with a few strokes, he holds back from plunging it into your begging hole, instead settling for teasing his tip around your entrance. your face opens up into a silent ‘o’, squirming from the pleasure of just the tip of his cock.
“pathetic,” haechan says before he loses it himself, pushing in his dick to feel the warmness of your walls hug him so snugly, “such a slut for my cock.”
→ JAEMIN doesn’t lose his cool right away, one of the nicer ones in the group i guess. he lets your attitude slide, but as the argument escalates he takes your wrist, dragging you straight to his room. the words he says are so sultry, but you don’t miss the anger behind his eyes. the way he punishes you is so sweet yet so terribly filthy, and he knows that you get off to it as well. i envision jaemin as a really sweet dom on the daily, but it switches whenever he has to put you in your place. from “that’s my good little girl” to “you’re just a filthy slut, aren’t you?” to rile him up this bad means you’re in a night of endless rounds LMAO good luck. nice enough to give you pleasure, but not changing his means of pleasuring you. 
“baby, you know what you’re doing, aren’t you? didn’t we leave the argument behind already?” jaemin coos, almost mockingly as he presses against your middle with his thigh. it’s pathetic in the way you grind up against it, desperate to find any form of fiction as he strips your lower half in no time.
“you only deserve my fingers, for now. not even my mouth, baby, sad, ain’t it?” jaemin grins, sinking one into your soaking hole. the sounds drive you insane, hips immediately buckling up from the contact.
for the next hour, he’s doing just that, hitting all the right spots in you with one, two, three fingers and nothing else. you’re whining for his mouth, for his mouth and anything, but it’s long before jaemin does any of those, focused on teaching you a lesson for testing his patience.
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criminalmindzjunkie · 3 years
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Avoidance
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part two
Summary: Reader doesn’t know what she did to make Spencer hate her so much.
A/N: This fic is just a reminder that sub!Spencer lives rent free in my head at all times. Also, if anyone would like to be on a taglist for one shots like these, let me know! I’m going to work on getting one started.
Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom! reader
Content Warnings: honestly way too much swearing, sexual harassment, slapping, hands free orgasm, oral sex (male and female receiving), hand job, orgasm denial, edging, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, degradation, femdom 
Word Count: 8.2k
           I have absolutely no idea what I’ve done to make Spencer Reid hate me.
           Usually, when someone despises a person to the point of complete and total avoidance, there’s a reason. No one just wakes up and decides to resent another person for the hell of it – right? Wrong.
           Because Spencer Reid positively loathes me – and I have no idea why.
           It all started on my first day at the BAU. I had somehow landed the highly coveted job of media liaison after the previous one had decided to complete the training to be a profiler. For reasons unbeknownst to me, they thought a twenty-four-year-old fresh out of college with no prior job experience was the best fit for the position. I didn’t understand it, but I also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
           To say that I had been terrified the first time I set foot into the bullpen would be the understatement of the century. After a very formal and very intimidating orientation with the unit chief, my predecessor, a beautiful blonde named Jennifer, offered herself up to be my personal tour guide. Jennifer introduced me to the other members of the team, and with every smiling face I came in contact with, my fears of being the odd man out were assuaged. I could tell that Penelope Garcia, tech analyst extraordinaire, would most likely be my biggest ally – and it was abundantly clear that Derek Morgan and I would probably get into a fair amount of mischief together. Elle Greenaway seemed like the obvious choice for a future drinking buddy, and Jason Gideon – well, he merely grunted at me in acknowledgment before retreating back to his office. I figured three out of four wasn’t so bad.
           I didn’t meet Doctor Spencer Reid until after lunch. Jennifer mentioned something about him guest lecturing at a local university, which surprised me considering she mentioned him being a year younger than me. Apparently, the kid was an actual genius, which was more than a little bit intimidating, but Jennifer assured me that Spencer was a sweetheart.
           “He’s a little quirky, but I’m sure you’ll love him. Just don’t be surprised if he tries to talk your ear off,” Jennifer laughs. “Last week I asked him about the weather and he went off on a tangent about climate change that lasted nearly an hour.”
           By the time Spencer strolled into the bullpen at exactly one in the evening, I was sitting perched atop Jennifer’s desk, thoroughly engrossed as she told me about their latest case. When she stops talking midsentence in favor of smiling at someone behind me, I half expect that Morgan is attempting to sneak up on me, when:
           “Hey, look who’s back,” Jennifer greets, prompting me to turn around excitedly. I was eager to put a face to the man I’d heard so much about.
           And when I turn, my eyes land on the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.
           Sharp cheekbones and a chiseled jawline are framed by shaggy brown hair, complete with beautiful brown eyes and soft, pillowy lips. As if his good looks weren’t enough, he’s dressed in the most adorably nerdy sweater vest and a pair of thin framed glasses. He’s absolutely precious – a fact that Jennifer had conveniently left out.
           “How was the lecture?” Jennifer asks him as he places his satchel on the desk adjacent to hers. Spencer perks up at this, smiling excitedly from across the divider.
           “I think it went really good, actually. I incorporated this really cool joke that I heard about quantum physics. Do you want to-”
           He stops abruptly when he realizes Jennifer isn’t his only spectator, and those lovely brown eyes go almost comically wide when they settle on me.
           “Spencer, this is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s the new media liaison. Y/N, this is Doctor Spencer Reid.”
           I give him my best smile, tacking on a small wave for good measure.
           “It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Reid. Jennifer’s told me a lot about you.”
           “Uh, y-yeah. It’s n-nice to meet you, too,” Spencer stutters. He looks positively stricken and I’m fairly sure he hasn’t blinked in over a minute. I cast a glance at Jennifer, who seems just as confused as I am.
           Well, she had mentioned that he was a tad strange.
           “I’d like to hear the joke,” I offer, only to immediately regret it when I see him tense up.
           “N-No, that’s o-okay,” he chokes out as he struggles to gather the files on his desk. “It’s n-not that good, anyways.”
           And just as quickly as he came, Spencer leaves in a flurry of crumpled papers, leaving Jennifer and I wondering what the fuck just happened.
--
           Things didn’t get better with time. In fact, they got much worse.
           In the six months that I had been working for the BAU, I could count my interactions with Spencer Reid on one hand. It wasn’t for lack of trying on my part – in my desperation to figure out what I’d done to make him avoid me, I sought out the young genius every chance I got. But every time I got within ten feet of him, it’s like an alarm would sound in his head and he’d make up some excuse to leave the room.
           The others had noticed his strange behavior, too. It seemed they all had made a sort of game out of it – calling Spencer into rooms that I was in just to see him panic, or asking me to personally deliver files to his desk. At first, I played into it, hoping that their teasing would help to diffuse some of the tension.
           After a month of being on the receiving end of Spencer’s cold shoulder, I started avoiding him, too.
           I tried to act indifferent – like it didn’t hurt me as badly as it did. I no longer sought him out, and by month two, we had a sort of understanding. I didn’t go near him, and he didn’t go near me, and that’s how it went on for four miserable months.
           Until today.
           “Reid, Y/L/N, you’re in 202.”
           I damn near drop my bag on the floor. This was bound to happen at some point or another, but I hadn’t planned on that day being today, and I was not prepared. After nine hours of running around the local police department, my body was weighed down from fatigue and I was downright grumpy. Not to mention I had picked the worst possible day to try and break in a new pair of heels, and my feet were throbbing.
           Needless to say, I was in no mood to deal with Spencer Reid’s bullshit.
           “Uh, Hotch? Could I maybe room with Elle?” I ask, sending a glare in Morgan’s direction when he snorts out a laugh. Hotch raises an eyebrow at me.
           “Why? Is there a problem?”
           Yes, sir, there certainly is. And your guess is as good as mine as to what that problem is.
           “No, but I just think that-”
           “Good. Then you should be fine to share a room with him.”
           Right.
           I spare a brief glance at Spencer, who, in the last thirty seconds, has turned the color of a tomato. I pray that he’ll speak up and voice his discomfort, but just like always, he stays silent.
           Hotch doles out the room keys and I begin the trek down the hallway, my poor aching feet groaning in protest with every step. I’m vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps behind me, and it’s not until I swipe the key into the key card that Spencer speaks.
           But not to me – no, never to me.
           “Derek, please, I’m begging you. Just switch with me this one time, and – and I’ll do your reports for a month!”
           After six months of dealing with Spencer’s aversion to me, his words should come as no surprise. And really, I’d expected as much - but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.
           “Not happening, kid. This is the perfect opportunity for you to get over whatever problem you have with Y/N. I bet you’ll even end up liking her. She’s not going to be rude to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
           “… T-That’s not what I’m worried abo-”
           I don’t wait around to hear the rest of his sentence. I push open the door to the room, not bothering to wait for Spencer before closing it. I kick off my heels as soon as the door clicks shut, letting out a half relieved, half frustrated  groan.
           After claiming the bed nearest the air conditioner as my own, I pluck my pajamas and toiletry bag out from my suitcase and shuffle over to the bathroom. The way I see it, the quicker I get a shower and can go to sleep, the faster the night will pass. Before I know it, this unfortunate situation will be a thing of the past.
           After drawing out the shower for as long as I possibly could, I exit the bathroom clad in a tank top and a pair of shorts, hair dripping wet and skin freshly scrubbed clean. Spencer’s sitting on his bed, book in hand and tie loosened. He doesn’t look up at me when I walk by - not that I’d expected him to. A thick silence hangs in the air as I pull a bottle of lotion out from my suitcase, and I debate turning on the TV just to make things slightly less awkward. In the end I decide against it, because I doubt even that could make this situation better.
           I prop a leg up on the bed and begin to lather my legs in cherry scented lotion, paying special care to my aching feet before moving on. It’s not until both of my legs have been thoroughly massaged and coated in lotion that I look up.
           Spencer’s eyes are locked on me, mouth hanging open and chest heaving up and down. His knuckles are white from how hard they’re clutching the book in his hands, but despite that I can still see the way they’re trembling. When he realizes I've caught him staring, he closes his mouth and gulps hard.
           I straighten up and raise an eyebrow in a silent question, and that’s enough for Spencer to snap his book shut and scramble off of the bed. He’s clumsy as he moves to his suitcase, dropping his bottle of travel shampoo twice before he reaches the bathroom. If I wasn’t so off put by whatever the hell had just happened, I might have thought it cute.
--
           As if the universe thought my current predicament wasn’t enough to deal with, the next morning I was dealt another shitty hand. This time, my distress came in the form of a young cop who couldn’t pick up on social cues to save his life. After an entire morning of dodging sleazy advances, I finally managed to shake him when his superior sent him out to go and actually do his fucking job.
           Or so I thought.
           I’m standing in the breakroom, pouring my fourth (or is it my fifth?) cup of coffee when I hear the sound of footsteps in the hall. I don’t know if I’ve developed a sixth sense about these things, or if I’m just particularly on edge today, but I know it’s the young officer before he can even cross the threshold.
           And when he does, and he sees that he has me cornered, a saccharine smile stretches across his lips.
           “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he drawls in an accent that could probably be attractive if he wasn’t so damn skeevy.
           “Might wanna get your eyes checked,” I mutter, refusing to look in his direction as I stir my coffee.
           “Pretty and feisty. Just how I like my women.”
           “I am not your anything,” I seethe, and instead of backing off like any respectful human being would, he just chuckles and begins to saunter towards me.
           “C’mon baby, you don’t have to be that way. You don’t have to act all professional with me.”
           “Don’t call me that.” I look at him now, and the smug, self-righteous smile on his face makes my blood boil.
           “You don’t like baby? That’s fine – I’m sure I can think of lots of other things to call you,” he murmurs. He’s closer now, so close that I can practically feel his breath against my neck.
           “I’m going to tell you to stop one more time, and it would be in your best interest to listen,” I growl.
           “Or what?” he taunts. “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”
           I jolt forward when a hand comes down hard on my ass, squeezing me harshly through the material of my skirt.
           Oh, fuck no.
           I’m whirling around faster than I ever thought possible, and then a harsh crack sounds throughout the room as my hand comes in contact with his face.
           My hand stings from the contact, but the pain is welcome because he flies backwards, stumbling and grasping as his already reddening cheek.
           “What the fuck?” he roars, eyes flashing with unbridled fury. I take several steps towards him, and to my utmost delight he nearly trips over himself in his hurry to put distance between us. I stop when his back hits the wall and I lean in until our faces are only inches apart.
           “Listen here, you limp dick fuck,” I snarl. “I’m getting real sick and fucking tired of pathetic pieces of shit like you thinking they can put their hands on women. What’s your problem? Are you so fucking tactless that you can’t get anyone to fuck you?” I punctuate my question by jabbing my pointer finger into his chest and cocking my head to the side. “Are you so unappealing that the only way you can get your hands on a woman is to wait until she’s alone and try to corner her?
           Or is it a power thing? You’ve got the gun and the badge so you think you’re entitled to just take what you want, don’t you? You think no one can stop you because you’re in a position of power. Well, I have some news for you – I outrank you, and you just assaulted a federal agent. I will not stop until I ruin your fucking career, and if you even think of trying to lie your way out of this, I’ll do a helluva lot fucking worse. After the week I’m having, I am just looking for an excuse to kick your fucking dick into the dirt. Do you understand?”
           By the time I finish speaking, my chest is heaving up and down and my eyes are narrowed into slits. The officer is so angry that he’s shaking, hands balled up to fists at his sides. For a moment, I think he’ll try to hit me, but then his hard-exterior cracks and the anger gives way to fear.
           “You – You can’t tell anyone about this,” he says, trying his best to sound menacing. But his voice wavers, and I can tell he’s losing his grip. “It’ll r-ruin my career.”
           I raise my hand up to his cheek, placing my palm over the red imprint I had left on his skin. And then I flash him the sweetest goddamn smile that ever there was.
           “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”
           I give him a pat on the cheek before turning around and heading for the door, only to stop halfway when I see that I have an audience of one.
           Spencer stands in the doorway, a coffee mug gripped tightly in one hand, mouth agape and eyes wide. He’s standing stock still, eyes darting in between the police officer and me. I let out an exasperated sigh because of-fucking-course it would be Spencer that would happen to walk in on whatever that just was.
           “Close your mouth, Reid. That’s how you catch flies,” I deadpan, prompting Spencer to snap his mouth shut.
           Without another word, I brush past him and leave the break room.
--
           I suppose the universe had decided to finally give me a break, because that afternoon we were able to apprehend the unsub. But my good fortune only went so far, because Hotch announced that we would be leaving first thing in the morning – which meant another night alone with Spencer Reid.
           He didn’t mention what he walked in on when the two of us arrived back at our room, and I didn’t expect him to. The two of us went about the motions of unwinding from the day in complete and utter silence, and by the time I emerge from the shower I decide that I’ve had enough.
           “I’m gonna go stay with Elle and Derek,” I murmur as I zip up my suitcase and slip on my shoes.
           “Oh. O-Okay.”
           And that was that.
           It’s about an hour later when my phone is on four percent that I realize I hadn’t remembered to bring my charger with me. I contemplate just letting it die, but the idea of sitting through a seven-hour jet ride tomorrow without it sounds excruciating. Then again, so does the idea of having to suffer through an interaction with Spencer.
           The phone wins out in the end, and with Derek and Elle still snoring softly in their respective beds, I slip out of the room and into the hallway. With any luck, Spencer will be in a similar state and I’ll be able to sneak in and out without him waking up.
           I think thank my lucky stars when I slowly crack open the door to Spencer’s room and see that the lights are off. I take special care to close the door as quietly as possible before tiptoeing across the carpeted floors, feeling my way around in the dark so that I don’t trip over anything.
I make it halfway across the room when I hear it – it’s quiet, and if the air conditioner had been on, I wouldn’t have even heard it at all. It’s faint, so faint that I wonder if I’d imagined it, but then that same sound breaks through the silence and I know it’s not a product of my imagination.
I hear the covers rustle, and then a low moan followed by the distinct sound of skin on skin. My blood runs cold as the moans grow louder and more frequent, rolling off Spencer’s lips in rapid succession. There’s heavy breathing and whimpering and holy fuck I just walked in on Spencer Reid masturbating.
Spencer cries out a particularly load moan, one that sounds so pornographic that it shoots straight to my core. It’s sexy and dirty and he sounds absolutely wrecked, and the part of my brain that is still capable of logical thinking is screaming get out! Get out, now!
I begin to slowly backtrack, moving at one tenth of the speed that I had coming in because the possibility of being caught is absolutely not an option. If Spencer hates me now, he’d really hate me if he found out I snuck into his room at night and heard… that.
I’m about five feet away from the door when:
“O-Oh my God, yes! Y/N, please - fuck!”
I think then that I certainly have to be dreaming, because there’s no way I’d just heard him correctly. There’s no way that Spencer – the same Spencer that scurried out of the room when I walked in – was moaning my name while he touched himself. Absolutely not.
But then it happens again and again and again – my name falling from his lips incessantly like some kind of debauched chant.
It feels like my skin is on fire – my mind a befuddled mess – and before my brain can tell me what a terrible idea it is, my feet are carrying me back into the room and I’m coming to a stop at the foot of Spencer’s bed.
Bathed in the glow of the moonlight shining through the window, Spencer looks ethereal. There’s a thin line of sweat beading on his forehead, and his usually meticulously slicked back hair is fanned out on the pillow like some sort of halo. His teeth are nestled into his bottom lip now, and all that can be heard are tiny whimpers as his hand slides up and down underneath the bed sheets. Spencer’s always beautiful, almost painfully so. But the way he looks now, shadows dancing across his face as he works himself to orgasm, is infinitely more breathtaking than words can express.
It doesn’t take long for Spencer to release his lip from beneath his teeth, and when he does my name is flying out of his mouth once more.
I take that as my invitation to speak.
“I don’t think I’ve heard you say my name before.”
Spencer’s entire body stills and his eyes fly open to reveal two dark pools full of sheer panic.
“I-I can explain,” he stammers, moving to clutch the comforter to his chest in an attempt to cover himself.
I let out a hum and sit down on the edge of the bed.
“Please do. I’m very interested in hearing about just what you were picturing me doing.”
Spencer sucks in a harsh breath. I can practically see the wheels in his brain turning -desperately trying to concoct some kind of reasonable explanation.
“I-I… I don’t… I’m s-sorry,” he stutters, and it’s so adorable how he’s squirming underneath my gaze that I decide to help him out.
“Was I sucking you off? Or were you fucking me?” I wonder aloud. He tries to hide it, thinking the covers will mask the way that his hips buck up, but I definitely see it.
“I-I…”
“Which was it, Spencer? Was I taking you down my throat or were you fucking my pussy? Or maybe I was coming undone on your face – was that it?”
Spencer lets out a low groan, and if my patience hadn’t been running so fucking thin, I probably would’ve left it at that. But after the hell he’d put me through for the last six months, I feel like he deserved to squirm a little.
“Fucking answer me.”
“Y-You were, um… r-riding me. And you s-slapped m-me.”
Oh.
This just got a lot more interesting.
I raise an eyebrow at him and I can see the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he gulps.
“So, you liked what you saw today, did you?”
Spencer nods so fervently that I have to bite down on my tongue to suppress a laugh.
“Words, baby. Use them.”
“I-I liked it. A lot.”
“Apparently so, seeing as you were moaning for it like a desperate little slut,” I breeze, my tone cool and indifferent. “Have you done this before, Doctor? Touched yourself to the thought of me, that is.”
“… Y-Yes. I’m s-sorry. I didn’t m-mean to. It just kind of happened one night, and once I started, I couldn’t s-stop.”
I reach out a hand and brush away the hair that had fallen into his face, tucking it back behind his ear before continuing.
“Why the cold shoulder, then? And here I thought you hated me,” I muse, before pausing and cocking my head to the side. “Do you hate me, Doctor?” I ask, and just when I thought he couldn’t look more guilty, he proves me wrong.
“No! I just… couldn’t be around you. I felt so b-bad. You were so nice, and I was using you to g-get off,” Spencer explains. “I couldn’t look you in the eye. Not after picturing you… like that.”
I let out a sigh. Knowing that Spencer didn’t actually hate me for the last six months was a relief. Knowing that Spencer was secretly rubbing one out to me was something else entirely. Whatever was I to do with this information?
“So, you want to fuck me, then?” I reiterate. “Why not tell me this sooner?”
“The probability of you responding positively to me telling you that I, uh, m-masturbate to you was very l-low. And after what I saw today, I think I was wise for keeping that from you,” Spencer says, the last part coming out in a rush. I can’t help but let out a low laugh.
“Yes, but the guy that was coming on to me today wasn’t someone I find attractive. He was pompous and crass and pushy - and you, Doctor Reid, are none of those things.”
“R-Really? You think I’m attractive?”
I hum.
“Very much so, Doctor. But I’m afraid you may have waited too long, and now I don’t feel as inclined to be nice,” I murmur, allowing my hand to trail down from his shoulder to his collar bones before lightly grazing his nipple with my thumb.
“O-Oh my… God,” Spencer whimpers, eyes fluttering shut as my fingers continue to dance across his skin.
“But then again, I don’t think you really want me to be nice to you. I think you want me to treat you like my little play thing.” I stop my hand just below his navel and I thumb across the light layer of hair that makes up his happy trail. “You want to be my dirty boy - don’t you, Doctor Reid?”
“P-Please,” Spencer chokes out, hips jerking up when I allow my thumb to graze a little lower.
“Please what?”
Spencer lets out a frustrated groan.
“Please, I-I want you to u-use me. However you want, just as l-long as you just do-don’t stop touching me,” he rambles. He’s shuddering underneath me, his breaths coming out in harsh pants as my hand wanders lower and lower until I abruptly pull away. “W-Why did you stop?”
“Because I don’t think you deserve to be touched just yet. You’ve got six months to make up to me, after all. I think I want you on your knees for me first,” I say, and from the way his eyes seem to dilate even further, I don’t think he has any objections. “Are you familiar with the color system?”
Spencer nods.
“Green for good, yellow means slow down, and red means stop now.”
“Do you have a safe word?”
“I… I’ve never really, uh. Done t-this.”
Oh. Oh.
I withdraw my hand from its place on his leg and Spencer lets out a distressed whine. “No, please! Don’t go. I’m not a complete virgin, I promise. I got a h-hand job once,” he argues. “And I think I’ve done enough, uh, research, and I really want to try to make you cum. I want to be good for you. Please let me try.”
Spencer looks like he’s about two seconds away from crying, and I can feel my argument dying before it even leaves my mouth.
“Oh, baby, I know you’d be so good,” I coo, and just like that Spencer’s leaning towards me, desperate to have the contact. I indulge him, placing my hand on his cheek, and he relaxes into the touch. “Are you sure you want to do this with me? I’m not what anyone would call vanilla, and I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”
“I trust you. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else,” Spencer whispers, and he sounds so damn sincere that I feel my resolve crumbling.
“You’ll let me know if at any point you want to stop?”
“Yes. Absolutely!”
Enthusiastic little shit.
“Safe word?”
“Um… Tolstoy?”
I let out a snort.
“Alright, smarty pants. We’re going to start now, okay?”
“Yes, Miss,” Spencer pants out.
Fuck me running. He clearly has been doing his research.
“Get on your knees for me, baby. I wanna see just how eager to please you are,” I instruct as I stand up and shimmy out of my shorts. I discard my shirt, too, absentmindedly throwing it somewhere across the room. Spencer lets out a startled squeak when he sees that I’m now completely naked, aside from my underwear.
“Y-You’re so pretty,” Spencer breathes out. “Even better than I imagined.”
The sentiment tugs at my heart, really, it does, but I specifically requested that he get on his knees and he seems a lot more content to just sit and stare.
“On your knees,” I command, and Spencer jumps up almost comically fast.
“S-Sorry, Miss,” he apologizes as he lowers himself down. I seat myself on the edge of the bed and spread my legs for him.
“Don’t apologize, just do as I ask of you, okay baby?”
Spencer nods.
“C-Can I kiss you? Like on the lips first?” Spencer asks as he looks up at me with big doe eyes. It’s a beautiful thing, the image of Spencer Reid sitting in between my legs, cheeks flushed and chest rapidly rising and falling. I give Spencer a sweet smile and lean forward, and the excitement radiating off of him is practically palpable. He leans forward, too eager to wait for me to close the gap, and the action makes my chest swell in adoration.
Just as our lips are about to meet, I pause, and Spencer barely has the time to look confused before my palm connects with the side of his face. The moan it draws out of him is obscene and his hips jolt forward, desperate for some kind of friction. His dick rests painfully hard between his legs, flushed red with precum beading at the tip.
I waste no time in taking his chin in my hand and tilting his head upwards.
“Did I say you could kiss me?” I ask him, voice sugary sweet, contrasting starkly with my actions.
“N-No, Miss. I’m sorry,” Spencer pants out. His hand twitches at his side and I can see how desperately he wants to touch himself, but his desire to please keeps him still.  
“Then the answer is no. Maybe if you can prove to me that you aren’t completely incompetent at eating pussy, I’ll consider it,” I allow a moment for my words to sink in. “Color?”
“Green. So fucking green,” Spencer whines.
“Good boy,” I praise him, and the effects of my words are instantaneous. Spencer rests his cheek against the skin of my thigh and then he’s nuzzling his face against me in a silent plea for permission. After a moment, his pleas become a lot less silent.
“Wanna be your good boy - please let me,” Spencer begs as his nose brushes against my skin. “I want to make you feel good. S’all I ever think about, since the first time I saw you.”
His words send a jolt of pleasure to my core and I reward his brazen honesty with a tender smile and a nod.
“Go ahead, baby. Let me see what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”
The words barely have time to leave my mouth before Spencer is reaching out and hooking a finger underneath the waistband of my panties. I raise up off the bed just enough for him to slide them down my legs, and before I even manage to settle back down onto the bed, Spencer literally dives in. He starts with one long lick, and by the time he reaches my clit he’s crying out lewd moans against me. The feel of the vibrations mixed with the feel of his mouth on me is maddening in the best possible way, and my eyelids threaten to flutter closed under the weight of my pleasure.
“Fuck, baby – you’re doing so good,” I sigh as I lift my hand up and card my fingers through his hair. “You look so pretty on your knees for me.”
Spencer’s movements stutter when he feels my hand tangle itself into his hair, and I let out a light chuckle. I grab hold of the roots and give an experimental tug. My actions cause his hips to jolt forward violently.
“O-Oh my…” Spencer keens, raising his glossy, lust filled eyes to mine. “H-Harder, please.”
I oblige, and Spencer lets out a particularly filthy groan before lapping at my pussy like a man possessed. His hands come to wrap around my thighs and he pulls me closer to him, causing me to let out a gasp when his nose nudges against my clit. The sound only spurs him on further – Spencer begins assaulting my clit, alternating between short, kitten licks and light sucking. The control I had so adamantly been asserting over him began to slip from my fingertips the longer he worked his mouth against me, and quiet, breathy moans started falling from my lips.
“Such a good boy, Spence,” I moan as I scratch my fingernails against his scalp. “You’re making me feel so good, baby. Love that dirty little mouth of yours.”
Spencer thrives on the praise – that much is made obvious by the way he whimpers and tightens his grip on my thighs. He’s completely submitted himself to the act of getting me off, only stopping long enough to cry out when my hands give a particularly harsh tug on his hair.
“Add a finger, baby,” I tell him, allowing my hand to drift down the side of his face, caressing the sharp angles of his cheekbones.
Spencer releases my thigh from his hold and tentatively raises a hand to my entrance, eyes raising to meet mine.
“You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?” he asks, and his concern is so endearing that I tilt his chin upwards and lean forward until my lips meet his.
Spencer gasps into the kiss, shocked, but it doesn’t take him long before his lips are moving against mine fervently. His lips are slick with my arousal, and I dart my tongue out just long enough to swipe it across his bottom lip.
           “D’you like how I taste, baby?” I murmur against his lips, pulling back slightly when Spencer tries to bring his lips down against mine.
           “S-So much,” he whispers, before letting out a frustrated groan when I tease him with the slightest brush of my lips before pulling away again. “P-Please, kiss me again.”
           I bump my nose against his before I reach down and grab his hand in mine.
           “Don’t be a greedy boy, Spencer. Greedy boys don’t get to cum,” I chastise him as I raise his hand up to my mouth. I trace my bottom lip with his pointer finger as Spencer watches on in rapt fascination, before taking the digit into my mouth and sucking. Spencer chokes out a pathetic cry and his hips hopelessly buck into the air as I swirl my tongue around the pad of his finger, taking special care to coat it with spit before releasing it from my mouth.
           I guide his hand back down to my pussy, gasping when the tip of his finger brushes across my entrance.
           “Just take it slow, baby. Start with one and move up to two once you get the hang of it.”
           Spencer nods, eyes alternating between my face and my entrance as he slowly slides his finger in me.
           “You’re so warm, oh my God,” Spencer breathes out, tentatively pulling out his finger before inserting it back in. I hum appreciatively as he begins to move faster, eyelids fluttering shut when he lowers his head and begins languidly licking my clit.
           “Feels so nice, Spence. I fucking love your fingers. Knew that they’d feel like this. I can only imagine how good your cock will feel,” I ramble, one hand fisted in the sheets and the other tugging on his honey brown hair.
           I groan as he inserts a second finger, reveling in the way he’s stretching me out.
           “Curl your fingers when you – fuck! Just like that, baby. Gonna make me cum if you keep doing t-that.”
Spencer speeds up both the onslaught of his fingers and his mouth at my admission, tongue working figure eights on my clit while his fingers brush up against my g-spot. A familiar warmth starts to spread in my lower belly, and with every swipe of Spencer’s tongue against my clit, the coil in my stomach winds tighter and tighter until, finally:
“O-Oh, fuck, Spence!”
The coil snaps, sending jolts of pleasure straight through my core. I can feel the way my walls tighten around Spencer’s fingers as my orgasm rips through me, never stopping their ministrations in an attempt to help me ride out my high. Vibrations ripple across my clit when Spencer lets out a cry of his own before his movements halt completely as shudders wrack his body.
I know he didn’t just…
           I allow myself a moment to recover before I lean forward and drag my eyes down Spencer’s slender frame – and sure enough, his tummy is covered in white ropes of cum and his now softening cock is hanging limply between his legs.
           Spencer’s eyes reluctantly open when his shudders cease, and one look at my pissy expression is enough to send him into a fit.
           “I-I didn’t mean to cum! I’m so sorry, Miss. It’s j-just that you looked so pretty when you came, and you taste so good! And you were pulling my hair, and you called me a good boy and I just couldn’t do it anymo-”
           “Shut up,” I seethe, voice cold and laced with annoyance. Spencer’s mouth snaps shut and he gulps. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember saying that you were allowed to come. Am I mistaken?”            “N-No, Miss.”
           “Mm, that’s what I thought,” I hum. “Stand up.”
           “B-But I want to make you cum again! Can I plea-”
           “Shut the fuck up and stand up, Spencer.”
           Spencer rushes to his feet, stumbling a bit when his legs begin to shake. He corrects himself, standing perfectly still in front of me with a shameful look on his face. I scoot back on the bed and fix him with a stony look.
           “I want you to lay on your stomach across my lap. Can you do that, Doctor Reid, or are you too stupid to follow simple directions?”
           Spencer adamantly shakes his head, scrambling to splay out across my bare thighs. Once he’s comfortable, I raise a palm to his bare ass cheek and smooth my hand across the skin.
           “Color?”
           “G-Green,” Spencer stutters out.
           “Wonderful. Since you’ve decided to be a greedy little slut and cum before I gave you permission, I’m going to punish you. Do you remember your safe word, baby?”
           “Tolstoy.”
           “Good boy. I’m going to give you ten, and I want you to count them out for me. One for every month you held out on me, and four because you’re an insolent little whore who can’t do as he’s told. Does that sound fair to you?”
           “Y-Yes, Miss. P-Please.”
           A harsh smack sounds throughout the room, and Spencer lets out a whorish moan that’s bound to wake the people in the neighboring rooms. The pale skin of his ass transforms to red, and I rub my palm across it soothingly.
           “O-One,” Spencer says through gritted teeth as he rocks his hips against my legs.
           “You okay, baby?”
           “Y-Yes, Miss. Please don’t stop. I deserve it. P-Punish me, please.”
           My palm comes down across his ass four more times, and with each strike I watch Spencer fall apart right before my eyes. Tears are gliding down his flushed cheeks, and his cock is now painfully hard against my legs.
           “Five more to go, baby. Keep counting for me, my pretty boy.”
           By the time my hand comes down against his flesh for the final time, Spencer has devolved into a mess of pathetic whimpers. His cock is smearing precum across my thighs as he rocks against me, and his ass is covered in a litany of bright red marks. Incomprehensible pleas are falling from his lips, and his hands are tightly fisted in the sheets.
           I lean forward and place a gentle kiss to each of his battered cheeks.
           “T-Thank you, Miss. Thank you, thank you, thank you…”
           “You’re welcome, baby. Can you go lay in the center of the bed for me?”
           Spencer gives a feeble nod and crawls to the center of the bed, carefully laying himself down and letting out a low hiss when his ass came in contact with the mattress.
           I let him rest against the sheets before I roll over and settle in between his legs.
           Spencer’s cock, painfully hard and leaking precum, sits against his belly. Spencer watches as I trace lithe fingers up his thigh, his chest rising and falling quickly as I get closer to where he demands my attention.
           A garbled groan rips from his throat when my hand grasps his cock, and I have to place my other hand on his hip and force him back down onto the bed when he tries to buck up.
           “Stay still, baby,” I tut as I drag my fist up and down at an agonizingly slow pace.
           “S-Sorry, M-Miss,” Spencer stutters. His brows are drawn together and his eyes are heavy lidded. “Need m-more, please.”
           “Mm, I don’t think you need more. You just want more. Dumb little greedy baby,” I tease as my thumb swipes across his head.
           “Oh… G-God, please!” Spencer mewls.
           “Is what I’m giving you not good enough?”
           “N-No, it’s just-”
           I raise an eyebrow at him and halt my movements.
           “No, it isn’t good enough?”
           Spencer lets out a frustrated groan and his fists clench the sheets.
           “P-Please, Miss! I’ll be your good boy, I promise. Just let me cum, please, I want it so bad!”
           Thoroughly pleased by his shameless begging, I start moving my hand again.
           “Let me know when you’re about to cum, baby.”
           That moment comes when, not thirty seconds later, the muscles in Spencer’s abdomen start to spasm – telltale signs of an impending orgasm. Spencer is so lost in the way my hand is moving against his cock that he makes no move to warn me, and just as I see his eyes start to flutter shut, I withdraw my hand.
           “W-Why did yo-”
           “You didn’t tell me you were about to cum. I thought you said you were going to be a good boy, Spencer? You sure aren’t acting like someone who wants to cum.”
           “S-Sorry, please, just… fuck!”
           Spencer’s whole-body folds in on itself when my mouth wraps around the head of his cock. I swirl my tongue around the tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered before I pull away.
           “You’ve got such a pretty cock, baby. Can’t believe nobody’s had you in their mouth yet,” I murmur, pausing to drag my tongue along the veiny underside of his erection. “Let me hear you, baby. Wanna know how much you like when I use my mouth on you.”
           “Love it so much, oh God… Feels so warm and wet. Thank you so much, Miss. God, it feels perfect,” Spencer keens as I take him into my mouth again. Mumbled praises fall from his lips as I take him deeper, and the second my nose hits the soft skin of his belly, Spencer’s hand comes up and begins to tap incessantly on my shoulder.
           “S-Stop! I-I’m close – Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking close and I really want to cum inside you, i-if that’s okay with you,” Spencer babbles, eyes wide and pleading. I smile up at him.
           “Do you think you deserve to cum in my pussy?”
           “H-Honestly, no, but I’m hoping you’ll let me anyways,” Spencer says, shooting me an adorably shy smile that has my heart doing somersaults in my chest. I let out a light laugh and shake my head, moving to straddle his lap.
           “Are you sure you want to do this, Spence?” I murmur as I caress the side of his face with my hands. “This can stop right here, if you want it to.”
           “Please, Miss. I want this. I want you,” Spencer reiterates, eyes shining and filled to the brim with adoration.
           “Want you, too, baby. You can call me my name now, if you want,” I say as I place a gentle kiss on his lips. I move to pull away, but Spencer’s hand is quick to grasp the back of my neck and pull me back in.
           While our lips move together, frenzied and desperate, I sneak a hand in between our bodies and grab Spencer’s cock. He gasps into my mouth as I drag his head in between my folds.
           “I-I won’t last long,” Spencer chokes out, eyes trained on where I’m rubbing him against me. “I’ll try my b-best, but I’m sorry if I c-cum too fast.”
           I sink down just enough that his head is the only thing inside me, watching as his face contorts beautifully as a result.
           “Don’t worry about me, baby. Tonight’s all about you.”
           With one last, chaste kiss to his lips, I slowly begin to lower myself down onto his length. The sound of our moans fill the room as Spencer clings desperately to me, hands finally finding purchase on my hips.
           “Y/N, fuck, you feel so good,” Spencer whimpers as I begin to slowly rock against him. “I-I knew it would feel good, but oh my God. I-I can’t… I’m gonna cum, soon. M’so sorry.”
           His admission prompts me to move faster, raising my hips until he’s almost completely out of me before I’m slamming back down.
           “Spence, you feel so good. Such a good boy – my good boy.”
           “Yes, yes, I’m all yours! Only yours, please!” Spencer whines. I lean forward, and the change of angle is enough for both of us to cry out.
           “Are you gonna be a good boy and cum for me, Spence?” I murmur into his ear, biting lightly against his earlobe. “I want you to cum in me, baby. Don’t you want to be my good boy?” I punctuate my words by lightly wrapping my hand around this throat and squeezing, and that’s all it takes for Spencer to completely fall apart underneath me. 
           “Y/N - fuck!”
           Spencer’s grip on my hips tightens as he bucks up into me, painting the inside of my pussy with his cum as he yells out strangled exclamations of my name. He presses his face into my shoulder as I ride him through his orgasm, whispering quiet thank yous and pressing open mouthed kisses to my skin as the euphoria floods through his body.
             I place a kiss to his forehead before I crawl off of him, having every intention of getting up and procuring a wet washrag. But Spencer reaches out to grip my arm, and his eyes look so sad that I stop in my tracks.
           “C-Can you stay? Please?”
           The insecurity in his voice tugs at my heart.
           “Of course, I’m staying. Was just gonna get a wet washrag for us. M’not gonna leave you, Spence,” I murmur. Spencer visibly untenses, but his grip on my arm doesn’t lessen.
           “Could you just stay here a little bit longer?”
           “Sure thing, baby,” I say, prompting Spencer’s lips to pull up into a pleased smile. I crawl back into the bed and lay on my back, and Spencer instantly plasters himself to my side. He hums contentedly as he wraps his arms around me, and I let out a light laugh when I catch him stealing glances at me.
           “What is it, baby?”
           A rosy blush spreads across his cheeks.
           “Can I kiss you?”
           After everything we just did, he still feels the need to ask permission to kiss me. What a sweet boy.
           My answer comes in the form of me pressing my lips to his, and that’s how we stay until he pulls away.
           “I have another question,” he says shyly.
           “Lay it on me, baby.”
           The blush on his cheeks gets significantly more pronounced.
           “It’s just that, uh, you didn’t get to cum again. And I really want you to, because you took such good care of me,” Spencer pauses, and his fingertips lightly graze the inside of my thigh. “C-Could I please eat you out again?” Another pause, and he retracts his hand. “I-It’s okay if not. I understand if you just wanted this to be… a one-time thing. I guess I was just kind of hoping that it w-wouldn’t be. But that’s silly – you were just doing me a favor. I’m sorry I asked.”
           Spencer cringes as he finishes speaking, not even giving me a chance to reply before he’s trying to pull away. I tighten my grip on his arm, and Spencer gives me a weary look.
           “First of all, I don’t think I would ever say no to being eaten out – especially if you’re the one offering. Second, this is definitely not a one off. I have lots of plans for you, pretty boy,” I explain, and the relief that radiates off of Spencer is almost palpable.
           “Thank God,” he sighs, and then he’s scooting down the bed and settling in between my legs.
--
           And if the rest of the team notices the way Spencer starts following me around like a lost puppy - well, they’re all kind enough not to point it out.
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wearywinchester · 3 years
Text
These Moments
Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: At first Dean thinks kisses on the nose are worth an eye roll, but it doesn’t take long to change his mind.
Requested by @halietigges : “It’s me again! I wish to request another Dean Winchester based on this prompt please: Kisses on the nose. ❤️”
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: angst, mentions of injury, blood, swearing, comfort, fluff, kissing
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One
You bid Sam a goodnight as you stood outside the door to your motel room, him at his before you twisted open the door knob. A sigh was immediate at the sight before you, one you can’t say you didn’t expect to find but one you hoped would be the opposite. There Dean sat, hunched over in his seat at the tiny motel room table with his head resting against his fist.
He’d been like that when you left, only this time he’d been a little more frustrated. That crease between his brow is just a little deeper, and those dimples by the corners of his mouth a little more pronounced. He’d been glued to his laptop ever since you got there, newspaper clippings scattered along the scratched up and tattered hardwood table. He was researching this case for hours, and to be fair it was trickier than most. Each time he read over an article it brought with it something new, something that took him down a different avenue of just what kind of monster you’re dealing with.
Normally, he wasn’t one to dwell on research too much, jumping on the first lead he gets and hoping for the best and usually that’s all there is to it. Normally, Sam is the one nose deep in a book or scrolling through articles because that’s what he liked to do. But every once in a while Dean will get like this, will stress himself out to the max on a case.
You locked the door behind you and tossed the keys on the table, his eyes still on the screen as you stood with a brow raised.
“De,” you say after a few moments, another sigh in your words especially after his only response is a half-hearted hum. “Dean.”
Green eyes flicker to you at the extra insistence on your tone, taking in your expression with his brows still furrowed. His shoulders relax a fraction, maybe even half that as he squints up at you. “Hi sweetheart.”
You simply hold up the grease stained paper bag in your hand, two burgers and two orders of fries inside from the diner right down the street from the motel. You saw a brief moment of excitement in his eyes at the thought, at the smell, of the food in there just waiting to be eaten, but it wasn’t so easily swaying to him as he hummed once more.
“Thanks,” he says, the single word coming out distracted as something in whatever article he’s got his hands on pulls his attention.
You huff this time, a little bit of frustration simmering in your stomach. You reach over and close the laptop, eying his narrowed stare and the clench of his jaw as you tilt your head and smile at him.
“Y/n, I was reading that,” he said, less than amused.
“And now you’re not.”
“I’m not gonna get anywhere with this douchey vampire if I don’t read up on the articles in this town. We can’t have Count Dracula getting his freakin’ fangs hooked in someone else,” he says, voice a little louder than before as he rubs his hands down his face.
Your shoulders slump a little bit at the stress he’s got written all over him, biting the inside of your cheek as he stands to his feet. You can see it in the tension in his shoulders and the way his hair stuck in every direction as he runs his hands through it for what has to be the millionth time in the last hour. Dean Winchester knew exactly how to stress himself out with the absolute worst ways of handling that stress. You weren’t blind to the fact that there were three empty beer bottles on the table.
“You’ve been at it ever since we got here, Dean. I’m telling you to take a break,” you say.
He was quiet and you watched as he rifled through his duffel bag in search of his dad’s journal, the one that quite possibly was in Sam’s. You watched him dig and dig and dump everything out on the bed before inevitably stuffing everything back inside with hasty movements and huffs and puffs, throwing the bag to the ground and nudging it less than nicely with his boot.
“Great, now I can’t find dad’s freakin’ monster diary,” he grumbles.
You grab his wrist before he can pace around any more, his huff puffing warm against your face as he stared down at you in discontent.
“Would you relax?”
“I am relaxed.”
“You’ve had three beers since I left, Dean. And you haven’t even started eating the burger I got you,” you counter with raised brows. “And you got that look on your face when you’re stressed too.”
“Look? What look? I don’t have a look, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, you do. It’s that broody, pouty look you’ve got going on right now, actually,” you say, smiling up at him as he rolls his eyes.
He looks back to you at the feel of your hand on his cheek, the tension in his jaw relaxing as he exhales a sigh. A soft smile tugs at the corner of your mouth when he hooks his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. It’s then that you drop your hand to press to his chest as you lean on your toes, pressing a kiss to the very tip of his freckled nose in that moment.
You watch the flurry of emotions flicker across his expression when you stand back on your heels then, his brow raising slightly. He swears kisses on the nose are the cheesiest thing possible, swears by it, but you don’t fail to notice the way he relaxes at the action, and you definitely see the softness of a smile pulling at his lips as he looks down at you, his gaze following you as you pull away from him and grab the paper bag from the table while he takes a seat on the bed.
You open it up and give him his food, nearly losing your balance when he tugs on your hand and pulls you down with him. He’s still plenty tired and you can see that clearly, but you can tell he’s relaxed a little more now.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, the words brushing against your lips before kissing you, lingering and sweet as his hand settles on your cheek briefly.
He kisses you once, twice, three more times before he’s got his hands on his foot, humming at the mere sight of his bacon cheeseburger.
“You’re welcome, De.”
Two
It was quiet when you woke up, quiet save for the soft patter of the rain coming down against the Impala. It couldn’t have been late, not with the way it’d still been fairly dark outside. The cloudy, rainy weather certainly didn’t help you want to get up and keep driving, absolutely not, even if you’d been laying on top of the older Winchester for the better part of a few hours stretched across the front bench seat that wasn’t quite so accommodating. Sam was in the back seat, likely even less comfortable with the amount of room he’s got back there.
But you were comfortable, you were plenty comfortable as you laid on Dean’s chest, his jacket sprawled out over top of you at some point in the night. You didn’t fall asleep with it on, didn’t remember it, but he must have covered you when he noticed you were cold. It was toasty and warm now, the fleece lining having worked wonders to combat the chilly fall temperatures seeping into the car.
He’d been snoring softly, a given, the sound vibrating against your cheek, rising and falling slightly as he breathed. Your legs were a tangled mess, his back curved and pressed against the door as his head rested against the window. It wasn’t entirely ideal sleeping crammed up in the Impala in the middle of who-knows-where, but there wasn’t a motel with a vacant room available so it would just have to do.
You stretched a little against Dean before you looked up at him with a yawn, head resting on his chest as you looked at him with tired eyes. He’s got that crease between his brows still, even when he’s sleeping, a telling sign he’s stressed and you know why. This demon’s got you driving all across the state with no chance of letting up on the chase soon.
You sigh softly as you hug him a little tighter, as tight as you can with the fatigue you’ve got weighing heavy on you. It’s enough to have him stirring, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards in a half smile.
“Ease up with all the wigglin’, would you, sweetheart?” He asks, humor in his tone as he murmurs the words.
You look up at him with a narrowed gaze and a frown, something that draws a soft chuckle from him the second he sees it. He runs his hand over your head and down to your shoulder, tugging up on his jacket that rested over you when he felt the cold of your hands seep through his shirt.
“Just for that, ‘m not gonna,” you mumble, moving around a little more for the sake of getting comfortable and not at all to prove your words true.
“Yeah, I know you won’t,” he sighs, a certain contentment in his exhale and you hum.
“Anything happen with that demon?” You say softly, his gaze focused outside the windshield for a moment before it drops down to you.
“Not a damn thing.” His lips purse, those dimples appearing by the corners of his mouth.
You hum again as you give him a gentle squeeze, leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek, and another for good measure before laying your head back down. You didn’t fail to see the smile he’s got on his lips, or the way it lingers as his eyes fall closed for a moment. And you definitely didn’t fail to notice the way his arm wrapped a little more snug around you, legs tangling up all the more.
“Don’t worry, Dean. We’ll kick some demon butt soon,” you mumble.
You feel that chuckle again, rumbling quietly within his chest. “Oh yeah?”
“Oh yeah.”
He smiles down at you then, soft and telling of those very three words without the need to say them out loud. It’s a look that’s always been reserved for you and no one else, because there isn’t anyone quite like you and there never will be. You’ve just got a way about you, a special hold on his heart that he’s not ready to admit you’ve got but you have your guesses. But you won’t tease him about it quite yet.
He smiles and he dips his head down, pressing a kiss to the very tip of your nose. Those kisses he swore were too cheesy. You knew he loved them and this was proof enough.
He kissed your nose and ripped his head back against the window, letting his eyes fall closed once more.
Three
The hunt hadn’t gone entirely as the three of you anticipated, as the three of you hoped. In fact, it was one more thing away from being an absolute train wreck and that much was clear. You nearly wound up dead that day and Sam was coming up on being halfway there, and as a result, Dean was trying his best to refrain from bursting in frustration.
You could see the way his worry ate him up inside, you can’t say you blame him. His biggest fears nearly came true all in one day over some rogue spirit after you told him it’d be fine. You told him it’d be fine and it couldn’t have been any more the opposite of that. He was so in his head about everything else that happened, so in his head about you that he nearly forgot about the cut dragging across his forehead and the jagged scratches adorning his jaw.
He was so fixated on the potential nightmare of losing you and Sam, the nightmare that replayed in a taunting loop, that the pain he so clearly felt was indistinguishable amongst his anger. He was like that all the way back to Bobby’s, wordless as he white knuckled the steering wheel and didn’t spare a glance to anything but the road ahead.
When you got there, he headed straight for the room the two of you had been staying in, the one he always stayed in at Bobby’s. You were hot on his heels, quiet as you followed behind him until he spoke up.
“You don’t have to coddle me, Y/n. I’m a big boy,” he snaps, anger in his tone.
“Someone’s gotta patch you up and we both know it’s not going to be you.”
“I’m fine, Y/n. I’ve had worse.”
He was being short with you, that much was clear.
“Wasn’t asking.”
You watched as he huffed, nostrils flaring as he did so and you heard the door slam shut behind you once you walked into the room. He tugged off his jacket and slung it over the back of the chair hastily, sitting down on the bed. You could feel his eyes on you, his stare full of a hundred and one different emotions you were sure, you were certain of it when you snuck a glance his way.
You bite the inside of your cheek as you dig through your duffel bag, snagging the first aid kit. He’s got that broody look again when you move to stand between his thighs, his palms pressed to the mattress as he leaned back on them a bit.
“Stop doing that,” you say, brushing the pad of your thumb along his bottom lip, the indents of his teeth present amongst the pink of his lip from having been biting it from a nervous habit.
He simply rolls his eyes and looks away, an action that’s only brief as your hand presses to his cheek and redirects his gaze back to you.
“You know, I’m relieved you’re so carefree about this,” he says, sarcasm dripping from every word as he looks up at you. “Honestly, it’s really nice to know.”
“Dean—”
“No seriously, that’s just great,” he says, his tone the opposite of serious and every bit representative of the anger and frustration and fear simmering within him. That very fear was pooling in his eyes as he sat there and let it twist his stomach in knots.
You say nothing more other than your huff through your nose, wasting no time in cleaning up his jaw. You saw the way his eyes lingered on your shirt, lingered over the wrinkles in the fabric where that spirit reached right through you and quite literally almost stopped your heart. She would have had Bobby not gotten to her grave in time. You would have been just as gone as she was.
His anger was inevitable, and it wasn’t directed at you, not really. Ideally, he wished you’d never hunt again. Ideally, he wished you weren’t as brave as you are, so eager to dive into every hunt as a hunter should. But he knows he can’t ask that of you, knows he won’t ever have it his way and it kills him. Hunts like this kill him. Every time there’s a close call, every single time, it tears him up. The mere thought of losing you makes his stomach churn, makes him get in his car and drive till that very thought leaves him alone.
But to see it, to actually see it almost happen, it nearly sent him over the edge.
You were gentle as you cleaned him up regardless of your own frustration with the older Winchester’s mood, regardless of his attitude. You were light handed with your actions and you were trying your best to be quick but it was becoming distracting when he’s got that look on his face.
You were nearly finished with that cut on his forehead when you couldn’t bear the look in his eyes any longer or the way they continued to bounce over that part of your shirt.
You settle your hand on his cheek, gentle as you tip his head back slightly to look at you. You can feel the tense of his jaw in your palm as he does, but despite that you can see every ounce of vulnerability in his eyes, eyes that are seconds from glossing over. It was something subtle, something you wouldn’t be able to see if you didn’t know Dean Winchester like the back of your hand. Something you wouldn’t be able to tell if you hadn’t seen the slight quiver in his bottom lip.
Your gaze was soft and patient as you looked at him, thumb brushing back and forth over his freckled and pink tinged cheek. It was quiet as he looked at you, quiet as his brows furrowed a little bit more.
In a matter of moments, you brought your other hand to settle on his other cheek, cautious of those scratches he’s got there. After a passing moment or two you dip down, pressing a tender kiss to the tip of his nose. He’s not so eager to stray very far, his forehead resting against yours.
A kiss to the nose. It was something awfully simple but something that worked wonders to soothe the heavy weight of his worries. To soothe the fear that sat heavy in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t going anywhere, it was still very much there, but that small act of affection lessened that weight for the time being until the next hunt. Until the next time you’re in danger.
His anger, his frustration, it dissipates a little more at that, and in a matter of moments his lips are one yours in a kiss that’s just as gentle. It’s a matter of seconds before he’s pulling back to look at you, gaze careful as it bounces across your face and back to your eyes.
It’s the softness of your smile that does it, that smile that always makes everything better. He might still be all kinds of torn up about the events of that day and he’s damn sure he’s not going to get over it in a while, but for now, for now in that moment he’s okay.
You’re okay.
Four
The diner was quiet as you sat at a booth, but you can’t say it comes as a surprise because it is two o’clock in the morning. Romantic dates weren’t exactly Dean Winchester’s area of expertise, and you were more than okay with that.
But traditions were.
He liked the idea of traditions, something steady to hold onto and something that was constant. A whole lot of things he didn’t have growing up. And one of those traditions is late night diner trips with his sweetheart. It was always burgers and fries and a slice of pie. It was always that without fail on just about every hunt you go on. He tried to take Sam along once or twice, but he said one too many things about cholesterol and called it quits with the eye roll of a century and a scoff around a mouth full of cheeseburger.
But he was more than happy with some quality time with you.
It was a small diner, one that smelled like a whole lot of bacon and a hint of maple syrup for the truckers passing through getting an earlier than early breakfast. He took the side facing the door, he always did that. You knew exactly why even if he never says it, it’s for your own safety.
“You know, I think pie is so much better when it’s the last slice,” he says, talking around a mouth full of apple pie and vanilla ice cream.
“I’ll bet it is, De,” you chuckle, sipping on the last of your milkshake. “It’s always you that gets the very last one.”
“And I like it that way,” he says, humming against a heaping forkful he stuffs into his mouth.
You rolled your eyes, a smile playing on your lips as you looked at your beau. He’s got ice cream in the corner of his mouth and tired eyes, but he insisted he wanted to go grab a bite to eat and you’d never turn down a moment like this, not in a million years. Even if they’ve got their radio set to the cheesiest hits from the nineteen-eighties they can find. Dean ran out of quarters for the jukebox on the table, playing out all the classic rock hits he can get his money’s worth of.
His slice of pie lasted all of a minute before he set his fork down on an empty plate, rubbing his hands together with a satisfied hum and a lick of his lips.
“We’re coming here next time we’re in this state. Hell, maybe we’ll even stay a couple more days ‘cause that—” he says, pointing at his newly emptied plate. “Was freakin’ delicious.”
You can’t stifle your smile or your laugh for that matter, shaking your head at his antics as he slaps some cash on the table and gets up from his seat.
Your hand slips in his in a matter of moments, instinct at this point as he holds the door open for you on the way out, and again before you get in the car to head back to the motel. It wasn’t that long a drive, not even long enough for him to finish singing that AC/DC song they’ve got playing on the radio but you don’t mind it, you were tired anyway.
You’re seconds from opening the door to your shared motel room when he stops you in your tracks, your brow raised in amused curiosity.
“Dean, are you walking me to the door?” You ask with laughter in your voice.
“What, can’t I be a gentleman?” He asks in faux offense.
“I don’t think you’ve ever walked me to my door, De. Not even that cliche first kiss on my doorstep.”
He pretended to mull it over in his mind, that familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth and you knew he was up to no good.
“Well, to be fair, sweetheart, I’m pretty sure Bobby would kill me if we were kissin’ on his doorstep,” he said, that smirk widening. “Besides, we did a whole lot more than ki—”
There it is.
You shut him up with a kiss that he very much was more than happy about, his hum pressing against your mouth and his kiss tasted every bit like his ice cream and apple pie. A kiss that was much shorter than he would have liked but the smile he’s got on his face is something else. It’s softer than soft and he’s trying not to get weak in the knees with the way you’re looking at him, and you’re trying your hardest to stifle your laugh.
But in a matter of moments he dips down and kisses your nose, soft and tender as his forehead rests against yours.
“Us and these damn nose kisses,” he mumbles, kissing you once more with a quiet laugh, shaking his head against yours.
You and those nose kisses.
Tags: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey @deandaydreaming @lanea-1 @akshi8278 @kidd3ath @taikawho
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honeypiehotchner · 3 years
Text
kiss me on the mouth and set me free (Damon Salvatore x fem!Reader) -- one shot
Hi my lovelies! I know this is not my usual content whatsoever, but I’ve been watching TVD with my best friend (@treat-winchesterswith-kindness​) and she was begging for a Damon smut, so this is the result. And I have to say...I enjoyed the hell out of writing this one xx.
Beta’d by @treat-winchesterswith-kindness​ and @a-radical-notion <3
Warnings: (Birthday) SMUT! (Slight) virginity kink, Daddy kink, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), biting (of course), size kink
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Damon’s fingers touch gently underneath your chin, tilting your head, forcing your eyes to meet his. Not for compliance, he’d never do that to you. But for attention, for focus, for sincerity. He wants you to know his true intentions, the kind that only you can see when you’re looking into his eyes.
The usual mischief isn’t there. Instead, swirling in his eyes, are the softest emotions you’ve ever seen. The most genuine. The warmest.
Slowly, you nod. Your silent, willing compliance. Your silent, please.
As he leans forward to connect your lips--
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
Your dream is ripped right out from under you by the smirking vampire standing in your bedroom. “Damon, what the hell?” You sit up in bed, rubbing your forehead. “What the fuck do you want?”
“Yikes, what’s with the attitude? My feelings are fragile, you know.” He grabs a pillow off your floor and hugs it to his chest as he quite literally falls onto the reading chair you have by your window.
Your only response is a glare.
“Come on, do you not know what day it is?”
“No,” you mutter, dropping your hands onto the bed in defeat. “What day is it?”
His expression is surprise, sadness, and unamused all at once. “Your birthday.”
“Oh,” you chuckle. You guess that is today. You’ve been so busy lately. You knew it was coming up, but you weren’t aware it was coming up this quickly. And now it’s here, and you have no plans.
Or at least you thought you didn’t have plans.
“Up, up, up,” Damon orders, waving his hands at you as he stands. “We’re celebrating, you’re not allowed to say no. Up.”
One thing you’ve learned about being friends with Damon Salvatore is that once he’s set in his ways, he isn’t budging. So, despite feeling like lead has been injected into your bones, you let him drag you out of bed -- literally. He reaches both hands out and you accept, wrapping your fingers around his and allowing him to tug you to your feet.
You and Damon have always been close. More than close, actually. You’ve never kissed or anything, at least not on the lips. He kissed your forehead once when you were sobbing over something. You kissed his cheek once in public when a guy wouldn’t stop hitting on you. And the two of you have held hands before, but more as an “I don’t want to lose you” measure in large crowds. You love concerts, and Damon does too (especially rock) but he hates the crowds because he hates losing sight of you.
You wouldn’t be surprised if everyone just assumed you and Damon are dating. You know the two of you aren’t -- because he’s definitely had sex with other women while you’ve been friends with him -- but you also know his behavior might lead others to believe otherwise. You also know that’s kind of his whole intention.
He’s protective. It’s what he does best. When you’re next to him, no one who isn’t your friend will look at you. And when you’re not with him, you’ve noticed the number of people who approach you with ill intentions has considerably decreased.
Once you’re known indirectly (or directly, you guess) as Damon Salvatore’s girl, no one comes near you. Exactly how Damon likes.
You don’t mind it. You hate being bothered. You’re surprised you let Damon bother you for as long as you did before you caved. You can’t lie, you liked it. You liked him. You still do.
But Damon isn’t the settling down type. He’s not the type to be monogamous, at least not from your experience. You do wonder at times what his goal was whenever he’d tell you about his sexual encounters. It wasn’t like he was bragging, but you couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to get a reaction out of you.
So, obviously, you didn’t give him one.
Damon doesn’t always get what he wants. He just thinks he does. And you like to make him believe that.
“Are you ready yet? I’m starving,” Damon calls from the hallway.
You roll your eyes. “No. And you can’t be starving, you’re dead.”
“I know,” he smirks, sauntering into your room. “Look at you.”
“Look at me?” You scoff. “I wore this outfit last week.”
“Yeah, but you look...hotter, I don’t know. Maybe it’s your birthday.”
You roll your eyes again, a habit you do most often when you’re with Damon. “Whatever. Where are you taking me?”
“Oh, just, all your favorite places.”
“You’re full of shit, Damon.”
+++
After a full day of doing all of your favorite things, most of which Damon hates, by the way. You have no idea why he’s been entertaining you all day, but you’re assuming it’s only because today is your birthday. He’ll go back to his usual self tomorrow and hang out with you only when it doesn’t involve things he hates doing.
“Which one of your comfort movies are we watching to end the day?”
You eye Damon skeptically from the kitchen. He’s currently on the couch, flicking through Netflix lazily.
You don’t want to question any of this until tomorrow, so you tell him which movie to queue up, and you hear him muffle a groan.
You return to the living room with a giant bowl of popcorn, plopping it in the middle of you and Damon. He presses play on the movie, and you eat your popcorn with a smile.
Of course, you should’ve known it was too good to be true for Damon to keep his mouth shut all day because about halfway through the movie, he drops the bomb you had been waiting on.
“So...you’ve really never had sex?”
You roll your eyes, but don’t respond.
Earlier today when the two of you were walking around, Damon kept pointing out cute guys. And they were cute, you’ll give him that, but you had no idea what his deal was. After five or six guys are pointed out, Damon asks you, “Come on, you’ve never had birthday sex? A one-night stand on your special day?”
You had laughed and shoved his arm, and confessed, “I’ve never had any sex, period. So no thank you. Can we please go?”
You knew it was way too good to be true when Damon dropped the subject immediately and moved on, letting you drag him away to your other favorite spot.
Of course, you should’ve known he was only waiting for the right time. You did know. Which is why you haven’t answered him right now.
But he keeps going.
“What about held hands? Kissed anyone on the lips?”
“First of all, you’ve held my hand, and second of all, of course I’ve kissed someone on the lips, I’m not a nun!” You lie.
He looks skeptical. “When was it?”
“I was…” He gives you the look harder, not compelling you, but might as well have been. “Fine. I’ve never had sex, and I’ve never had my first kiss. Are you happy now?”
“Of course I’m not happy!” He gives you another look, this one like you’ve gone batshit crazy. “You’re missing out on one of life’s greatest experiences!”
“And this is exactly why I never told you,” you toss a popcorn kernel at him, watching it bounce off his forehead. He looks up at it, but he doesn’t blink. “Not everyone thinks sex is all there is to life, Damon.”
“Okay, that’s not what I meant--”
“That’s exactly what you meant.”
“I just mean if...you’re waiting…”
“Please, stop. Talking.”
“You don’t need to wait.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Because I’m right here.”
You stare at him blankly. “What?”
He shrugs nonchalantly like he’s not the biggest manwhore around. “I’m here.”
“You’re joking. Quit fucking with me.”
“I’m not fucking with you-- Well, at least not yet--”
“Oh my God, shut up!” You laugh, swatting at his arm, hating the way you’ve gone hot all over.
Damon Salvatore is attractive. Scratch that-- He’s more than attractive. He’s the kind of attractive everyone says they want in a guy, but obviously, it’s too much to ask for, so they settle for a little less. You can’t ask everyone to look like a God, but Damon does -- though you’ll never let him hear those words leave your lips. Never.
The prospect of having sex with Damon has crossed your mind more than once. Probably a thousand times, if you’re honest, but you always knew it would never happen. He’s Damon Salvatore. First of all, he doesn’t do anything besides casual sex, and second of all, you’re pretty sure his sex only includes experienced partners. You don’t exactly fit either of those criteria.
You never even thought he looked at you that way. You figured if he had, he would’ve made more jokes or insinuated things. But he never has with you.
“I’m being serious, you know.”
At this point, fifteen more minutes of the movie have gone by. But you haven’t been paying attention.
“Can I ask why?” You say, keeping your eyes focused on the TV screen.
“Why what?”
“Why now? Why are you suddenly interested? Because if it’s just to get your dick wet, I will kick you out.”
“What do you mean suddenly interested?” He counters.
“What do you mean?” You fire back, finally looking at him. “The whole time we’ve been friends, you’ve had more one-night stands than I can count. You never flirt with me. And just today you were trying to find someone for me to have birthday sex with. Are you serious?”
“Okay, yes, I have had a lot of one-night stands, and yes, I was being...obnoxious today, but I have flirted with you.”
“Since when?”
“Since every day I’ve known you!” He cries. “Did you not notice?”
You slump back into the couch cushions. “Well, I guess not.”
More minutes pass. The movie plays and you try to pay attention, silently wishing the couch would swallow you whole right now. This shouldn’t be embarrassing, but it is.
“I’m not saying you have to have sex tonight, but whenever you’re ready...I’m here.”
“Of course you’ll always be there for that.”
“You know I didn’t mean it that way,” he says, and you would’ve brushed him off again if he wasn’t looking into your eyes so deeply, and reaching for your hand. Not in a way that insinuates anything, but for comfort.
Silently, you turn your hand over and let him hold it. “What if...What if I’m not ready for sex yet, but…”
“But?”
“But…” You sigh, averting your eyes back to the movie. “What if I want you to kiss me?”
“I can do that.”
You nod, but you don’t move. Your hand stays gently held in his, your eyes glued to the movie. You suggested it yourself, yet you’re nervous.
Distantly, you hear the bowl of popcorn moving to the coffee table. You feel the cushion beside you dip slightly as Damon scoots over. And then…
“You’re going to have to look at me if you want me to kiss you.”
You feel his fingers gently lifting your chin, turning your gaze toward him.
“Are you sure?”
You roll your eyes, not as harsh this time because you’re too busy buzzing with the fact that his fingers are still on your chin. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
“Okay, okay,” he teases, his thumb stroking your jaw.
He moves slow, not wanting to rush you, but he moves so slow that you wish he’d use his speed. Before you can make a comment about it, though, his lips are finally on yours.
Kissing isn’t what you expected. But since it’s with Damon, it’s amazing.
He still moves as slow as possible, his hand moving from your chin to your jaw, cupping your face, pulling you closer. You have no idea what to do with your hands, so you leave them in your lap, curled into fists.
Damon pulls back, pecking your lips once, then twice, before finally pulling away.
“How’s that for a first kiss?”
You don’t bother responding. Instead, you grip his shirt in both hands and pull him back to you, kissing him harder. A growl releases itself from the back of Damon’s throat, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip in retaliation.
You open up for him instantly, fists releasing his shirt when his tongue strokes into your mouth gently. His hands find your waist and squeeze, massaging your skin, tugging you closer until there’s practically not even a centimeter of space between the two of you. You wrap your arms around his neck, a small whine leaving your lips when he pulls back.
“Damon…” You whisper, your vision hazy, but in the best way.
“Look at me,” he says softly, his lips ghosting over yours.
You blink slowly, looking back into his eyes. “Hm?”
“Do you want more?”
You nod pathetically, still annoyed with him for stopping.
“Words, little one,” he taps your nose with his index finger. “What do you want?”
“More,” you say almost instantly. “I need more, Damon.”
“More it is,” he smirks, giving you what you need.
You inhale deeply when he kisses you, and when you exhale, your breath fills Damon’s lungs. Your fingers thread through his hair at the base of his skull, your arms keeping you steady around his neck. His lips devour you in every form of the word, claiming you, coaxing you to open up to him. His hands tug on your hips, pulling you into his lap, straddling his legs.
Your comfort movie plays on the TV in the background, the volume turned down, but still there. Somehow, it makes more of your nerves melt away. Damon’s touch makes the rest of them disappear.
Damon pushes your hair back from your face as he holds you captive with his kiss. Another nip to your skin and he pulls back.
“I want more,” you blurt, “but I’m not a one night stand.”
“You are most definitely not a one night stand,” he replies softly, pecking your lips. “If you want more, I’ll give you more.”
“Give me more,” you all but demand, rocking your hips. “Now.”
“Ah, ah, ah,” he tightens his grip on your hips, stopping your movement. “Just because it’s your first time doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want.”
You fully stop your movement out of surprise and annoyance. “Why not?”
“Because…” He thumbs the pout from your lips. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“Damon,” you groan. “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I haven’t fingered myself.”
He chuckles lowly, grabbing one of your hands and lifting it up into view. “I am a lot bigger than your fingers, princess.”
You shudder at the nickname and fail to hide it.
His usual mischievous smirk stretches across his lips. “You like that?”
You nod. No use in trying to hide it.
“Princess,” he murmurs. “What do you want?”
“Fuck me,” you say proudly, already tired of the teasing.
He smooths his hands down your arms. “That’s not asking nicely.”
“Please, will you please just fuck me already?”
“Nice of you to say please,” Damon replies, pressing a kiss to your lips. “But I need to get you ready first. Don’t pout, kitten. Come on.”
He shifts his weight to lift you up, laying you back on the couch. Slowly, your pants are dragged down your legs. You wait for him to take your panties, too, but he doesn’t.
You lift your head, but Damon stops you before the comment leaves your mouth. “Patience, princess.”
You throw your head back into the pillow with a groan, one that quickly morphs into a moan when he mouths your clit over your panties. His tongue darts out to tease your hole through the fabric, smirking into your pussy as you squirm. He thumbs your clit before massaging your lips.
“There we go,” he murmurs. “I can feel you getting wet, and that’s what we need, Princess, I don’t want to hurt you...not unless you ask.”
A flash of a wet dream you had a few nights ago, where Damon’s mouth was in your neck, his teeth breaking skin only barely, but enough to taste.
“Did you just get wetter? Oh, Princess…”
The sound of ripping fabric fills your ears when Damon’s teeth tear your panties away. The sudden cool air on your wet pussy causes your hips to buck, and Damon’s hands promptly push them back down.
He crawls up your body, briefly paying attention to your collarbones and neck, daring to nip there, but not breaking the skin, and leaving as quick as he came.
His entire body covers yours as he leans down, pressing sweet kisses to your lips, smirking when he finds your lips already parting for him. And when your hands find the buttons on his shirt, he chuckles, but keeps kissing you, fiercer now as you unbutton every last one, leaving his shirt hanging wide open.
“You feeling good?”
“Do you really need to ask?”
“Just checking, baby,” he coos, kissing both of your cheeks, then your nose.
He slides back down your body, settling over your hips. Now, without the barrier of your panties, you can feel his breath on your pussy. Before you have time to process that feeling, though, Damon is diving in headfirst -- literally.
Damon is not a stranger to going down on a woman, and it’s actually his favorite thing in the world to do.
He doesn’t even try holding you down. One arm is stretched across your hips, while his other hand is busy massaging your lips, coating his fingers in your wetness. You expect him to thrust his fingers into you then, but a loud moan has you looking down to see Damon’s fingers in his mouth, tasting you.
He opens his eyes and catches yours, smirking around his fingers as he pulls them out of his mouth. “You taste good.”
You scrunch up your nose, earning a laugh from him.
“I’ll make you taste one day, kitten, you might like it.”
“Hmph.”
“Don’t start pouting now,” he says, keeping his eyes locked with yours as his fingers trail down to your entrance. “Just one for now, Princess,” he whispers, spreading your lips and pressing in.
One isn’t much, so all that you feel is pleasure and heat in your core.
“More,” you whine, lying back down, breathless. “Please.”
“There’s my good girl,” he coos, kissing your hip bone. “Asking so nicely. I’ll make you feel good, don’t worry.”
Another finger enters you and it is a bit of a stretch, but still not much. He was right, his fingers are bigger than yours -- and you’re sure his cock is bigger, too -- but it’s still not enough.
“More,” you cry, the word breaking into a choked moan when he scissors his fingers, opening you up.
“There it is,” he smiles, leaning down to flick your clit with his tongue before sucking gently on the bundle of nerves. He continues scissoring his fingers until he hears your moans growing quieter, and that’s when he adds a third finger.
Now you feel the stretch, but it isn’t painful. Your moan is louder than you expect, your back arching off the couch, and Damon swears for a second he might’ve stumbled upon an angel.
A small whimper leaves your lips when he curls his fingers, pressing into your g-spot ever so slightly. Not hard enough for immense pleasure because he doesn’t want to wear you out immediately, and he knows you aren’t used to that level of pleasure -- not yet at least.
He pauses his assault on your hip bone, never biting hard enough to leave a mark, to return to your clit. He’s not sure if you know it, but you’re close. He can feel your walls fluttering and squeezing his fingers, the tell-tale signs.
Once you feel his mouth back on your clit, sucking and nibbling gently, you’re blinded by the pleasure that crashes into you. It’s as if the skies opened up and struck you with lightning straight from the sun.
When Damon moans into your pussy, the vibrations send waves of pleasure through your every fiber, and you have no choice but to cum all over his fingers.
Something you do when you’re pleasuring yourself is you stop almost immediately, but Damon continues, milking every last bit of your orgasm until you’ve calmed down. He leans his head on your hip while he continues massaging your walls until he can pull his fingers out without hurting you or startling you.
The emptiness you feel when his fingers leave you is a little startling, but only so much so that you need something else inside of you. Which is why while he’s busy sucking on his fingers again, making a complete mess, you’re sitting up and tossing your shirt over your head.
“Woah,” Damon says around his fingers, his eyes widening when your bra comes off, too. “Hello.”
You almost glare at him. “I need you inside of me.”
Damon raises an eyebrow, licking his lips. “Pardon me?”
“Please,” you groan. “Please, I need more, I…”
“Shhh,” he shushes you, his fingers massaging soft circles into your thigh. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please.”
He nods. “Lay back, Princess. I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
You obey, mostly out of exhaustion than compliance, and Damon knows that. You’ve always been a bit of a brat, but he’s seeing even more of it tonight.
He makes a show of shrugging off his shirt, watching you watching him, your arm bent underneath your head to prop you up. One leg is up and the other is down, and you look like Heaven.
Damon undoes his belt and tosses it away, taking note of the way your eyes follow it all the way to the floor. You don’t even look back to him until his pants are hitting the floor, and him stepping out of them catches your attention again. Black boxer briefs are all that is left, and they’re barely containing him.
He loves how intently you’re watching him. The genuine curiosity sparks in his eyes when he pulls his underwear down, kicking them aside. You blink slowly, marveling at the sight of him. He’s...pretty.
“Like what you’re seeing, baby?”
You nod slowly. “Mhm. Taste?”
“Next time,” he promises, kneeling on the couch, pushing your legs apart. “Tonight is all about you, Princess.” He presses a kiss to your lips to seal the deal, and you accept it, reminded of how empty you feel now that your legs are spread again.
You go quiet when you feel his cock nudging your entrance. He stretched you, but he feels so big.
“Is it...Is it gonna fit?” You ask, your arms wrapping around his neck again for support.
“I’ll go slow,” he murmurs, kissing your forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. “You tell me when to stop, okay?”
“Okay.”
He kisses you again, sweeter and softer this time, but it’s only a distraction for when he initially enters you. He could tell you needed the distraction, and he was correct.
When you begin to feel him, your nails scratch his skin and he stops, staying there, waiting for your word.
He goes slow as promised every time you ask for more, and stops whenever you say so, or when your whimper is louder than expected.
Soon, though, he’s fully seated inside of you, and you feel sufficiently full. At peace. And ready for him to fucking move.
“Move, please, Damon, I need you to--”
He pulls out slightly and snaps his hips, knocking the breath out of you. He watches your face, but there are no traces of pain, only pleasure.
A rhythm slowly forms, one that you enjoy, until you need more and when you ask for more this time, Damon doesn’t hold back.
So much so that it forces a new name from your lips.
You didn’t mean to say it, but when he stops moving out of surprise, you can’t help but whine it once more. “Daddy, please.”
“God,” Damon groans, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. The rhythm this time is slow and dizzying. “Say it again.”
“Daddy,” you whimper instantly, bucking your hips, pulling him in deeper.
“Just like that,” he murmurs, lips ghosting over your vein. “You have no idea how hard it is not to just…” He pauses, letting his teeth graze over the sensitive skin there. “And when you call me that…”
“Daddy…” You cry out, feeling him nudging against your cervix.
“My sweet little girl,” he breathes. “Letting me take her virginity. That’s my Princess, my baby…” His teeth graze your skin again, teasing you, and then…
“Please,” you mumble, closing your eyes. “Do it.”
He freezes, and you feel it, but you’re tired of him freezing, so you wrap your hand around the back of his head, pressing his mouth into your neck.
“Do it,” you repeat, even more breathless. “Please.”
Damon can’t resist, not when you feel this good wrapped around him, when you’re begging, when you’re pushing him closer, yearning for it.
He speeds up his rhythm, chasing his high. He doesn’t trust himself to cum with his teeth in your neck, but he can cum right before, and sink them in while you’re cumming. The pain won’t be as intense while you’re mid-orgasm.
Almost as soon as you feel Damon’s seed spilling inside of you, your back is arching, your own waves of pleasure shooting through your body, your second orgasm of the night capturing you. And when you least expect it, because you assumed he had decided against you, Damon’s teeth sink into your neck.
It’s a feeling you’ve never felt before, but it’s one you’ll be asking for more often.
Your body relaxes, Damon’s now half-hard cock sitting snugly inside of you while he drinks from you, and when he finally is done, you’re floating blissfully.
You catch only a glimpse of his face before it returns to normal, and he kisses you gently to get your attention.
“How was your first time?”
“Amazing,” you murmur, scratching gently at the base of his skull. “Really...amazing.”
“Do you want me to move?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Stay.”
“Okay, well I need to pull out of you, but then we can cuddle.”
“Fine,” you huff, dropping your arms from his neck.
Slowly, he pulls out of you, leaving you empty once more, despite the pleasure still thrumming through your body. “You can warm my cock another time, okay Princess?”
“Hmph.”
He stands and shakes his head. “Alright, it’s nap time for you.”
You look up hopefully. “Bed?”
“Yeah, come on.” He slides his arms underneath your legs and back, lifting you up bridal style.
You’re asleep in his arms before he even makes it to your room.
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elysiadjarin · 3 years
Text
Day 3: Dacryphilia
Jesse Cromeans may be a ruthless killer, but at home with you? You’re the one in charge. And especially those days when you’re annoyed at how long he’s been gone and he comes back so desperate for your attention… well. You did so like to see him cry.
Day 3 of Kinktober has arrived! I actually think I discovered some things about myself writing this one, so y’all enjoy. 😂 Find my Kinktober Masterlist here.
Warnings: Minors DNI, this is 18+ content only. This one is a slasher x reader fic, so please beware of mentions of murder and assault as part of the territory, though nothing is explicitly mentioned. PinV unprotected sex, dacryphilia, desperation, cumplay.
Tags: Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) x reader, slasher x reader, yandere!reader, soft femdom, sub/dom themes
Paint Splatters over Canvas
It was rather funny, really.
You scrolled through your phone, ignoring the giant man standing in the doorway of the room staring at you. Jesse had always made a point of never touching you without your permission. A way for him to separate the meaningless victims of his murderous hobby with you, his wife, his everything. And while of course your relationship stayed perfectly strong, you well aware of his hobby and he well aware of your own tendencies… it did sometimes backfire on him in the best worst ways.
Like now. When you were annoyed with him because he’d been gone an entire day later than he’d promised, extra dark web cash be damned. A promise was a promise, and it wasn’t as though he’d needed the money. He did have a perfectly legal and highly successful business, after all. So shouldn’t you have come first?
You liked revenge cold, playing the long game; something you had in common with Jesse. And today, you certainly had plans put in place for said revenge. Which, for the time being, meant ignoring Jesse. You had plenty to occupy you, from communications for the business to just working on your own projects. Still, you’d made sure to be just nonchalant enough to let him know that it was all so… deliberate.
Jesse shuffled in the doorway, clearly wanting your attention but knowing better than to think any sort of demanding would get him anywhere. He’d learned the hard way that at home, his power over subordinates decidedly did not apply to you. When you didn’t give him any response, he hovered for a moment, clearly trying to decide on what to do next.
You knew how he would get after a mission. Needy. Wanting. Starved for attention and affection from you. Pent up for days, probably thinking about you every spare moment between takes.
With a hum, you typed out a message on your phone before standing and heading for the doorway. You briefly looked up to see him as you brushed past in the doorway. “Oh, hi, Jesse,” you said, giving him a brief, distracted smile. “I’m off to get ready for a meeting with a client.” You headed for the bedroom, already thinking about your next steps.
You could hear him following behind you, could almost feel the mounting despair as he started to realized what was happening. Why you had used his name instead of the usual love, darling. His shoulders hunched, and you could see his face twist as he clearly tried to think of what to do. He already knew that you’d have your revenge however you wanted: apologies would be expected but certainly wouldn’t get him any closer to mercy.
Walking into the bedroom, you headed straight for the bathroom to start preparing. Jesse still trailed along behind you like a forlorn, helpless puppy, and you swore you could almost hear him let out a small whine. Pausing for a moment in front of your vanity, you dialed your friend’s number and set it to speaker, putting it down on the countertop and sitting in front of the mirror.
You tied your hair up and reached for your cosmetics, beginning the process as the phone dialed. Your friend picked up quickly, already in on your plan thanks to your texting. She always approved of your payback plans.
Bestie! I thought you said you had to prepare for the meeting? I mean, yknow, not that I don’t like hearing from you. She cheerfully teased over the phone.
You smiled. “Well yeah, I just sat down to do my makeup. But I mean, we did say we were going to talk about the party for little Jacen this weekend, and what better time than now? You can help me pick out an outfit once I’m done,” you cajoled, noticing how Jesse sat on the edge of the jacuzzi bathtub, unabashedly staring at you. He always had loved watching you get ready for an event. Not that you minded.
Fair enough. Your best friend admitted readily. But seriously, you didn’t have to go all out for Jacen like this. She half scolded. It’s so much!
You laughed lightly, the creamy foundation smoothing across your skin. “Oh c’mon, he’s my adorable little nephew in all but name. He deserves to get spoiled by his doting Aunt, let me have my fun,” you wheedled, knowing she would cave.
She sighed over the receiver. I swear, girl, you could convince anyone into anything.
“Or maybe I’m just your weakness, Miss Mara,” you teased back. The soft brush in your fingers blended the contour onto your face, and you smiled as you glanced at the phone. “But anyway, did you manage to figure out what he might want for a birthday present? Or are we going with my original idea to let him loose in a mall?”
Oh, no, you are so not buying him everything he points at. I’d never get him to not be a spoiled brat if I let you.Mara snorted. I’ll text you what I figured out, he seems to be pretty fixated on it right now.
“Ugh, fineeee,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “But I’m going to at least get him that adorable motorized scooter I showed you before. He’s going to look so cute riding around in it.”
Fair enough I suppose. Better than the mall idea— wait, did you just get me to agree to something extravagant by threatening something so ridiculous—
“Anyway,” you interrupted blithely, “did you send out invitations to everyone?”
Yep, and I got back all the RSVPs. Speaking of which, I thought you said that you were meeting with the CEO of some business tonight? What’s that all about? I know you, you normally don’t like dealing with people.
You sighed. “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag a little.” You pouted, reaching for the eyeshadow and liner. “Jesse was supposed to be back yesterday, but since he wasn’t I had to reschedule, and I promised to personally meet with the CEO in order to smooth over ruffled feathers. But besides that… I wanted to be there personally to see my best friend and her husband’s house finally paid off for their fifth anniversary.”
A pause. Then a screech that made you grin. You’re not serious! Babes, no, wait—
“No use protesting!” You said cheerfully, waving your brush. “It’s already been practically settled. Besides, you both need to start saving up for Jacen’s college funds. We did have the agreement that I’d open the doors to whatever college he wanted instead of just paying for it,” you reminded.
Ugh, I don’t know if I want to smack you or hug you, you sly little— Mara groaned. Wait till I tell Damien, he won’t know what hit him. She laughed. Thank you. You know how much it means to us. I won’t scold.
“Good.” You nodded. “And you know I’ll take care of you.”
She sighed. Never doubted it. So, how’s the process?
You hummed, pursing your lips as you finished the eyeshadow and grabbed the mascara. “About to do mascara, then all I have left is the lipstick. But shouldn’t I wait till we pick a dress before I actually pick a color?”
Probably. What’s the mood? You going for boss ass bitch, sultry Queen, or mysterious vampire lady? Amusement laced Mara’s voice.
“You’re not even in my house and yet you walked in and called me out to my face,” you said dryly, earning laughter. Jesse, you saw in the mirror, tilted his head with a small smile playing over his lips. He’d quietly observed the whole processes, eyes fixed on your face.
Only cause I love you. So, show me the closet, girl! Oh, show me your makeup first tho so we got reference.
You picked up the phone as you finished, turning on the camera so she could see your makeup sans the lipstick. She whistled, eyebrows wriggling teasingly as she grinned.
Oh, so mysterious vampire queen it is. She smirked. Closet. Though I do have the feeling that we’re going to be choosing a gorgeous red lipstick.
“Yes ma’am,” you answered, standing and heading for your closet. You heard Jesse stand and follow behind you, and stifled a smile. Flipping the camera, you started to flip through the racks of dresses. “Does that mean we’re leaning towards a black dress?”
Hmm, probably. Actually, how about one of your sleek black ones? The one with like, barely any frills and only a tiny bit of lace at the top. Off the shoulder. If you’re gonna try to assert dominance, probably drawing attention to your mouth and hands is the best way to go.
You tilted your head at the hangers, then nodded. “You’re right. Especially if I go for the red lipstick. I could also honestly use a glass of wine during that meeting,” you sighed.
Mara snickered. Blood in a wine glass? How stereotypical of you, madame.
“You hush, drama queen,” you said dryly, finding the dress she’d described and pulling it out.
Ooh, that’s the one! And I know you have that one crimson shade of lipstick that I always say looks vampiric.
You went back to the vanity and set the phone down, pretending to not notice that it showed Jesse standing in the doorway, clearly staring at you. You slid your shirt off, careful not to smudge any makeup, then slipped out of your pants and reached for the dress. Smoothing it over your front to get rid of any wrinkles, you sat back down and tilted the camera back to yourself, reaching for the lipstick.
“This one, right?” You waved it in front of your face.
Yep! That dress is stunning, by the way. Oh, and what are you doing with your hair?
“Ugh, I don’t really wanna bother too much with it, so I figured I’d go with the… messy, loose waves.” You shrugged, applying the lipstick.
Mara snorted. I think you mean, ‘sorry I’m late I was doing things’ while ignoring Jesse staggering behind you clearly radiating ‘I’m things’ energy.
You half-choked, laughing despite yourself. “Mara-! Seriously!”
She rolled her eyes at you. I’m just saying it like it is. But you go girlie, you look bomb. She laughed. Blow them all away. Be the boss bitch you are. A noise in the background interrupted her. Oop, that’s my cue. I gotta go, text me though okay?
“Will do, tell Damien and Jacen hi for me.” You smiled and hung up, finishing fluffing your hair. Standing, you grabbed the phone and headed for the door. “The meeting is in five minutes,” you remarked to Jesse as you passed him in the doorway. “If you want to join.”
You saw him type on his phone, the text to speech translator sounding a moment later. May I be there with you?
You flashed him a warm smile, as though you weren’t at all deliberately enacting revenge. “Of course! I’d love to have you there. Let’s go.” With a little hum, you headed towards the stairs.
Your phone pinged with a message. Girl, I swear he was drooling. You’re so mean sometimes. Not that he didn’t deserve it.
You suppressed a laugh, replying with one hand as your other slid down the bannister to guide you down the staircase. You know it. Mission so far successful. Wish me luck, I’m about to go into this meeting.
You looked up as you got to the bottom of the stairs, seeing an assistant waiting with the guest. The assistant bowed politely. “May I introduce Mr. Trace, CEO of Finley Bank.”
Giving the assistant a nod, you turned to Mr. Trace. “Greetings, Mr. Trace. Welcome! Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I do apologize for the delay,” you said, taking charge and sweeping towards the parlor.
He followed after automatically. “Of course, Mrs. Cromeans,” he answered, quickly recovering from his moment of bewilderment.
You motioned to a chair, sitting on the velvet couch across the coffee table. “Please, please, have a seat,” you said, keeping the easy smile on your face. “Can I get you a drink? Anything at all?”
He blinked, sitting down and setting his briefcase next to him. “Ah— thank you. I’d appreciate a scotch on the rocks if it’s available.”
“Of course,” you said easily, nodding to the maid standing nearby. “A red wine for me, please.” You smiled at Jesse as he sat next to you. “Your regular?” you asked sweetly. At his nod, you turned back to the maid. “And a glass of dry white.”
She bowed and went to go fetch the drinks.
“I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do, Mr. Trace,” you said smoothly, “so I’ll not take any more of your time than necessary. Of course, as I said, I’d like to discuss several things with you…”
Twenty minutes later found you leaning against the arm of the couch, feet propped up beside you as you swirled the last dregs of the red wine, tapping the glass with your fingernails. The CEO had long since emptied his scotch, and Jesse was on his second glass. His fingers kept clenching around the flute of his glass every time your feet brushed against his thigh.
“Of course,” Trace said with a nod, jotting down the final notes on the paperwork. “Easily managed. Are there any other details you would like to add or anything else to discuss?” He looked up at you.
Your tactics of firm politeness and the scotch seemed to have worked their charm, and you’d been able to rather easily dominate the flow of the interaction. Not to mention, Mara had been right about appearances clearly setting a tone. Trace seemed to be studiously avoiding eye contact with either you or Jesse.
“Not at all, Mr. Trace,” you said, a pleased note in your voice. “I’m rather pleased at how everything has turned out. We do so value your business, you know.” You tilted the glass in your fingers. “Shall I sign the papers?”
“At your leisure.” He slid them across the table toward you.
You slowly uncurled yourself like a lazy feline, straightening yourself and leaning over to set the glass down on the table. Grasping the pen, you slowly signed your name on the papers, eyes glancing over the print to ascertain that everything was in order. Shuffling through the papers, you finally set the pen down.
Trace took them back, glancing through them before nodding. “Everything seems to be in order.” He slid them back into his briefcase. “Thank you as always for your business, Mrs. Cromeans, Mr. Cromeans.”
You nodded, and Jesse stood, setting his glass down. You rose as well, sliding your arm into the crook of his elbow as he automatically adjusted for you. “And thank you for your help, Mr. Trace,” you answered easily. “I do hope you have a productive rest of the day. Do be safe out there.”
He nodded as the assistant returned to escort him out. “Same to you.”
With a hum, you absently patted Jesse’s arm and let yours slide out of his grasp, drifting towards the stairs again. “Oh, I need to go tell Mara it’s all confirmed. Besides, this dress is only comfortable for so long,” you remarked, pulling out your phone again.
Guess who completely owns their house now? You texted Mara, smiling. And your tactics worked, I think dominance was asserted.
You waltzed into the bedroom, headed straight for the closet. “Jesse, are you hungry? I think the food I ordered should have arrived by now, it should be in front of the TV. Maybe pick a movie? I still have a few messages to send.”
You changed into a comfortable black babydoll nightdress, sighing in relief as the silk slid over your skin. It was far more comfortable, and you could feel yourself finally starting to relax after the pent-up tension of the meeting. You really did hate dealing with people, especially ones like the CEO.
Your phone buzzed as you went to go pick it back up. You are literally the best. Now go finish seducing Jesse while I go figure out how to make this news sexy.
Stifling a snort, you went to go wipe your makeup off and wash your face. You could hear the sounds of the TV starting in the bedroom, so you took one more glance in the mirror before heading out into the room, still tapping at your phone. You still had to finish some arrangements for Jacen’s birthday, after all, and your revenge was still percolating.
Jesse’s head turned as soon as you approached the couch in front of the TV. You ignored the way he froze, sliding onto the couch and tucking your feet under a soft blanket. Sending off another message, you set it beside you and reached forward to grab a tray, pulling it into your lap.
“I figured you might not want anything too heavy since you just got back, so I kinda just made a guess and ended up ordering too much…” You frowned at the myriad of food laid out over the table. “Sorry, Jesse… I don’t even know if this is what you want—“
The text to speech cut you off. The food is fine, thank you. I’m sorry for being late. I know I can only make excuses, but I am sorry. Can I make it up to you?
A frown touched your lips as you picked up your spoon, still not looking at him. Your fingernails tapped against the screen of your phone. “Jacen asked the other day if Uncle Jesse would be at his party. I told him I didn’t know, but I’d ask.”
He quickly typed. Of course, if he asked for me, I’ll be sure to be there. His fingers paused, then he slowly typed again, as though hesitating. I got you a present while I was gone.
You hummed, swallowing your food and picking your phone back up. “He’ll be happy to hear it. And thank you for the present.” You sent a message to tell Mara that Jacen’s wish had been granted.
Jesse practically fidgeted as he ate, the movie playing in the background. You could feel his eyes slide from the screen to you, could almost hear the wheels in his head frantically turning. The tension in every line of his body was obvious, his movements stilted and jerky. He practically twitched every time you so much as moved.
Finally, you set down the tray, grabbing a mint to refresh your mouth. Shifting to get more comfortable, you angled yourself towards him a little more. You snitched a piece of food from his plate, letting out a hum as you smiled down at Mara’s message. If possible, Jesse stiffened even more, his fingers clenching so hard around his spoon that it even bent a little in his grasp.
A crumb fell from your fingers onto the lace edge of your nightgown, and you let out a quiet noise of protest as you looked down. Your fingers brushed against the top of your breast, brushing off the crumb. Sticking your finger in your mouth, you typed out a message in response to another conversation. With a sigh, you looked up and glanced over Jesse’s shoulder to see the lamp on the table next to him. Night had fallen, and shadows fell over the room.
Stirring yourself, you sat up, setting your phone down for a moment. “Can I turn on the lamp? I don’t wanna get up for the lights,” you said, starting to lean across him. Almost thoughtlessly, you placed your hand on his thigh and put your weight on it, reaching over his body on your hands and knees to pull at the cord on the lamp. The light clicked on, just as a low keening sound came from Jesse.
Your head tilted at the sound, and you turned to look up at his face. It was your turn to freeze.
Jesse’s face had crumpled, his soft green eyes literally awash with tears. His hands were clenched at his sides, his chest heaving with hitching breaths as he struggled to control his expression. The tears welled in his eyes, and faint color had splashed across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.
Slowly, a smile crossed your lips as you stared up at his face. Leaning back, you tilted your head, licking your lips. “Oh, look at you,” you breathed. “You made all the little piggies cry, Jesse. But maybe it’s your turn, hmm?” Your eyes flickered down to the way his entire body trembled, every muscle taut and strained.
You moved, sliding your entire body into his lap to straddle his waist and face him. Crossing your arms under your chest, you stared into his face. “I don’t know… you broke your promise, though.” Your eyebrow raised at him, and he let out another hoarse whimper. Tears slid down his cheeks, his mouth opening for shuddering breaths.
He shook his head, lips trembling as he lifted one hand and signed. Sorry. Please. Sorry. His fingers spelled out your name.
Reaching up, you cupped his face in your hands. You leaned up, face drawing closer to his. “But I already accepted your apology, love,” you cooed, smiling. “You know what I think?” You slowly dragged your tongue across his tear tracks, your body flushing with heat at the taste of the bitter salt. “I think,” you murmured against his jaw, “that I like seeing you cry.”
Jesse’s breath hitched on a sob, more tears spilling down his cheeks. It was fairly intoxicating, seeing the giant man completely fall apart under you, trapped between his desperation and his personal standards. When you slid forward, your body pressing flush against him, another sob wrenched from his gritted teeth.
You decided for the moment to have a bit of mercy. Reaching down, you grasped his wrists and lifted his hands to your waist. His fingers instantly clenched in the silk babydoll dress, shaking as he grabbed at your waist. His entire body lurched forwards towards you, eyes fixed on your face.
You hummed softly, brushing a kiss to his jaw. “Your eyes are so pretty when they’re filled with tears, Jesse,” you purred, drawing his face closer to you. Still, you refused to kiss him, instead trailing your lips down his jaw, down to his throat. You opened your mouth against his neck, savoring the taste of his skin and the soft scent of his cologne.
Jesse’s trembling fingers jerked against your waist, and he slumped into you. His hands slid over your waist to your lower back, his touch practically reverent as he squeezed. His breaths came quick and fast, breaking occasionally on a sob. Every time you suckled or moved your lips, every time your hands slid down his shoulders, he gasped and shuddered, more tears dripping down his cheeks.
You slid your hands down, starting to unbutton his shirt. Your tongue dragged across his neck, and you felt the bulge in his pants throb against your thigh. “Isn’t this punishment fair, darling?” you cooed. “I only ask for a few tears, hmm? A front row seat to your pretty eyes?”
His head jerked, even though it wrenched another tortured sob from him. Despite the contact, you could feel his frustration mounting.
You pulled back, looking up at him as you finished unbuttoning his shirt. “Oh, you don’t think so?” Your fingers slid across his bared chest, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. “But isn’t this what you wanted? Me, paying attention to you?”
His gasps had turned ragged. His hips jerked, rutting up against your thigh. A strangled noise left his throat, his eyes squeezing shut. His grip on your waist threatened to leave fingerprints against your skin.
“No?” You bit your lip, raking your nails lightly against his chest. “Then what is it you want, hmm?”
His eyes flickered down to your lips, unconsciously licking his own. His fingers clenching, he pulled you down to grind against his cock, straining in his trousers. Pants fell from his mouth, and he kept glancing from your eyes to your lips.
You reached down, teasingly trailing your fingers down his chest and stomach. Unzipping his trousers, you looked up at his face and smiled as you traced one fingertip down the bulge in his underwear. His eyes fairly rolled back in his head, more tears streaming down his face afresh.
“Look at you, already such a mess,” you murmured, sliding your fingers into his underwear. The moment you wrapped a hand around his cock and slid up, you were rewarded with a guttural groan. He gritted his teeth, clearly struggling to stay still. With a soft laugh, you leaned up and brushed a kiss to his ear.
You tugged at his collar. “Why don’t you lie down for me?” you murmured.
He immediately complied, his hands still clamped around your waist as he turned and shifted up, lying down on the couch. He stared up at you, face still twisted in agony and desperation.
Lifting yourself a little, you tilted your head at him. “Take your pants off for me?”
He practically kicked his pants and underwear off in his haste. You guided one of his hands to the latch on the side of your own panties, giving him an amused smile and nod. His trembling fingers unlatched them, his chest heaving as he watched the black silk slide away from your skin. The moment you lowered back down onto him, his cock throbbed against you and his back arched.
Leaning forward, you hummed a pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Jesse, love,” you murmured. “Cry for me a little more?” You cupped his face in your hands, feeling your wetness coat his own length as you ground against his tip. But you deliberately kept shifting, not giving him any steady pressure.
Another broken whine came from him, and a few more tears slipped down his cheeks. Frustration scrunched his face, his neck mottled with red and flushing down to his shoulders and chest, making your white nail marks stand out. His hips jerked, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment.
“Is this what you want?” You pressed down against him again, feeling his cock slip against your wet folds teasingly.
His head jerked in a nod, almost violently. Tremors kept running through his arms, his body occasionally shuddering under you.
You leaned down and sucked his lower lip between yours. Your teeth nipped at his lip, and you finally slanted your mouth over his. Tears poured afresh down his cheeks as he desperately pulled at you, trying to get closer, kiss you more. You relented and let him, thumbs brushing against his jaw as you hummed softly into his frantic, pleading kisses. Without warning, you slipped your tongue between his lips, feeling his mouth part with alacrity. When you finally parted, his green eyes were glazed over with tears, hazily staring at you.
Then you smiled at him slyly. “I think you’ve deserved a little bit more,” you decided.
The moment you slid his tip into you, he choked. Saliva dribbled from the corners of his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling for breath. His entire body froze, humming taut under you and his eyes sightlessly staring up at the ceiling.
You observed his wrecked expression, licking your lips with satisfaction. Rarely did Jesse ever fully submit to you like this, usually a brat. But tonight, you had absolute and utter control, and you intended to milk every last ounce of satisfaction out of it. The memories would fuel you for years of his utterly ruined expression, tears slipping down his cheeks as he drooled uncontrollably.
“So pretty, darling,” you purred, licking the tears from his cheek. You gave him another kiss, letting his hands wander over your waist and up your front. “So good for me. Do you think you can handle more?”
His eyes widened, breath quickening. He glanced down, then shook his head jerkily. Then nodded. Then shook his head.
You tilted your head. “Hmmm.” A wicked grin crossed your lips. “No? Oh, but I think you can,” your said, just as you lifted yourself and fully sheathed him inside you.
Jesse sobbed. His mouth opened, tongue lolling as he gasped. Tears poured down his cheeks from the mingled pleasurable pain and relief. His cock throbbed inside you, and his hands grasped desperately at your thighs. His entire body started to shake, arching.
You barely gave him time to adjust before you were already bouncing on him, hands braced against the back of the couch. Laughter spilled from your lips, delighted and cruel, as his hands scrabbled against your thighs, raking across your skin. Moans kept being torn from his throat, your name framed on his lips.
As soon as you angled your hips and brought your fingers down to ring tight circles on your clit, you hissed in pleasure. You pulsed around his cock, earning another helpless sob and wave of tears. He just hit that one spot inside you perfectly, again and again, until you bit your lip and moaned his name as you came around him. Your body clenched down on him, even as you kept fucking yourself through your orgasm.
More laughter spilled from your lips. “Are you gonna cum for me, Jesse, my pretty darling?” you asked breathlessly, purposely moaning his name. “Gonna cum inside me?”
The only warning you got from Jesse was another sob and the gritting of his teeth. His hands flew to your hips, slamming you down on him one more time before holding you there with an iron grip. Gasps tore from his mouth, his eyes trying to blink away tears as he stared up at you.
You hummed, caressing his hands and arms as you bit your lip in satisfaction. He kept pouring into you, his hips jerking once in a while and wringing a whimper from him. Finally, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His lips parted under yours weakly, chest heaving under your hands.
“Thank you, Jesse,” you cooed sweetly between kisses. “You’re so good to me, make me feel so good.” Your mind fuzzed with the pleasure of both your high and the sight of his tears.
He pushed up against you, kissing you fervently. Though he didn’t say a word, you could feel his thoughts through his drugged, sloppy kiss.
You giggled, teasingly clenching down on him one more time and earning a jerk and grunt. “And I forgive you. But don’t do it again, okay?”
Jesse’s calculating look as he clearly weighed the consequences made you roll your eyes but laugh. Maybe this one would turn out to backfire against you, next time.
You decided it was worth it.
222 notes · View notes
tipsydipsydo · 3 years
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Pairing: tall! & sub! Reader x dom! OT7 BTS
Gender of the Reader: male
Word Count: 2.3k  
Rating: 18+
Genre: Smut/PwP
Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Dom-/Sub-Dynamics; accidental overhearing of a phone call, Mentions of Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Mentions of Sex Toys & Masturbation; slightly mentioned Double Penetration; mentions of Anal play; Praising; Petnames; some Degradation; Daddy-Kink; Teasing; slight Edging; the boys are teasing the poor reader to Death
A/N: Well- that was a quick writing. Instead of studying I decided to write this funny request and to use my procrastination in a better way than scrolling stressed through TikTok. I hope y’all like it!!
Status: unedited bc I am lazy and should study. 
Request: i want to request a drabble/one shot: sub taller male reader and his seven boyfriends in which he confidently talks naughty things with his friend on phone but when he realized his bf are watching, he became crazily shy because he is just a big cute boy, then his bf decided they want to test those ‘words’ he has said, poor boy =))
Requested by: anonymous 
[Links]:
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「© tipsydipsydo」
This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!
I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!
That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.
Thank you.
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After too many and super busy weeks full of work, you’ve finally managed to find a free afternoon in your schedule where your best friend and you have enough time for a nice, long telephone call on the couch. You are already over one and a half hour on the phone, exchanging the newest stuff that happened in your life with each other and joking around. Slowly your conversation turns their focus to your more private life and your bestie asks you about your polyamorous relationship with your boyfriends. At first just normal things like, how’s it going in general, how you all manage the relationship with all the different time schedules, how often it comes to fights and how you deal with that etc. Just normal stuff and  the ‘typical’ questions you’re already used to, when people realize that you’re not in a monogamous relationship. 
Your best friend and you grew up together. You met each other in elementary school, went through the curses of puberty as an inseparable team and even survived middle and high school thanks to the other one. Already in your teens, where both of you made your first experiences and got into your first relationships, your best friend had a guess that you’re not as straight as you want him to believe. No, they even assumed that you’re maybe not made for the typical monogamous relationship which the society preach every fucking day. 
Well, turns out that your best friend really knew you better than you did yourself back then but honestly, nowadays you’re thankful for their suggestions and that they gave you the save space you needed to dare to make new experiences in those directions. 
Nevertheless, they were still more than surprised when you introduced him to not only two or three boyfriends, no that you brought seven (!) other men to their birthday party two years ago. At first they were a little worried if you didn’t overload yourself with such a complex relationship dynamic and that it’ll turn out as a serious burden and not an enrichment for your life. Turns out, now it was their turn to make a false assumption about what’s the best for you and theu were more than happy to admit that everything turned out just fine. It truly makes their heart swell to hear the happiness in your voice through the phone everything you mention something about the boys. 
Quickly your phone call turn into an even more private talk and dedicate itself to the really interesting stuff. You’re sharing every detail in your life with another, so why should it stop when it comes to sex talk? You have absolutely no problem and any shame to talk freely with your best friend about your kinks and dirty thoughts. Sometimes you even think that you’re better informed about each other’s preferences better than your actual partner(s) are. 
“I think, I already told you that idea more than once... that I have a thing for exhibitionism and the thought of getting catched doing something ‘forbitten’ or ‘dirty’, right? Uhm... TMI but I don’t give a shit, whenever I am alone at home because they’re busy and we can’t meet for some days... I mastubate with some of the toys they’ve bought for me and imagine that they catch me. You know, when we have sessions with Dom and Sub Dynamics, they’re only temporarily and usually we go back to normal in the moment when the scene is over... that means, when I am alone and horny, I can do whatever I want to. I can jack off or fuck myself as much I desire and they wouldn’t say anything about it. It’s not like, I don’t appreciate my personal freedom when it comes to masturbation or that I want something completely different, no! We both already talked about that too, I don’t like the idea of Total Power Exchange, I prefer to be an independent person as soon as I walk out of the bedroom- okay, not only bedroom, we have sex in other places than the bedroom too- ANYWAY, what I wanted to say with that: ...”, you mutter and take a deep breath into your lungs. 
After holding such a long monologue your mouth dried up terribly and now you need quickly something to drink. You get up from the couch and walk over to the kitchen island to pour some soda into a glass. A satisfied hum leaves your throat after you took some gulps of your favourite sparkling sugar bomb. 
The whole time, where you moved around in the eat-in kitchen of the apartment, you are not that alone anymore as you thought you’d be, especially right in this moment. Namjoon, Hoseok and a boyish smirking Jimin joined you around ten minutes ago, leaning casually against the wall next to the door of the room and listen very interested to the conversation you have with your friend right now. They didn’t mean to overhear your private talk, they just wanted to know what kind of take-out food you’d prefer for tonight. 
Unfortunately your conversation turned out to be very, very interesting for them, so they decided to give you some more time to talk with your best friend about the sexual fantasies you have which they don’t know about... well, until now.
Hoseok texted the other boys in the group chat to join them in the living room as well, they need to hear those very important information too! 
Poor you, completely oblivious and naïve to what’s happening in this moment, not getting any kind of hint that not only your best friend would get those significant informations...
“...-what I actually wanted to say with that: I prefer to be independent in relation to all other non-sexual life-responsibilities. Well, that doesn’t mean we couldn’t increase the Erotic Power Exchange, right? To be very honest, I can’t get the fantasy of them taking my sextoys away and to forbid me to touch myself without their permission out of my head. I love to be their good boy and to get praises, I really do... but there is this thrill to be break the instructed rules, getting caught while doing it and getting punished for it. I want... I want to get called bad, filthy and dirty names, I want to be a disobedient, greedy and insatiable slut for them. I want to get spanked, edged and overstimulated, I want to get fucked into the mattress so bad, up to the point where I can’t get a single clear thought together and my brain turned to mush... I want to get used, ruined and wrecked by their cocks, getting my holes stuffed full with their cum and then plugged up, so nothing can run out anymore- God fuck, I should stop talking like that or I’ll get a serious problem! Well... sorry for so much detailed TMI, you know that this shit always happens when you tell me to stop overthinking and encourage me to spill everything that comes to my mind. Now you got every filthy detail you’ve asked for, you’re welcome.”, you joke sarcastically and facepalm yourself. You can’t believe how incredibly blunt and shameless you just threw your latest sex fantasy in every fucking detail at your poor best friend. 
Usually you’re more than shy to talk about such things, in your understanding the magic for your shameless mouth towards your best friend has to reside in the deep thrust you have in him and simply the knowledge that your relationship is platonic. It’s not like that you couldn’t trust your boyfriends wholeheartedly, god no! You know, that they would never kinkshame you for anything, 
it’s just... after sharing those thoughts it would result something out of it. You don’t want that they  think you’re a weirdo or that they only do specific things because they know it would turn you on. 
The other one just snorts in amusement when you voice this slight helpless apology, they can imagine the significant blush which has settled down on your cheeks. 
“Hey buddy, don’t apologize for that. There is nothing to apologizing for, I am way too curious for my own good as well and I need to make sure that you’re happy in your relationship, especially when it comes to the point if they are able to fulfill your sexual desires. I need to know that, believe me. Okay, there’s one thing... I knew you were submissive, my dude. But I didn’t expect that you’d be such a masochistic hoe and that you’d have such a thing for degradation, Jesus! Nevermind, more important: did you talked with them about that fantasy? Would they be down for this idea and would they like to be more in charge? Please do not tell me that you’re too shy to talk with them about it, not again! I tell you this every goddamn time, communication is key!”, your best friend says to you in a serious tone. 
Here you go again, getting scolded by your friend all over again. He is right, you know that... y’all already talked about ‘how to deal with certain kinks some of them or you have but the others aren’t into and how to not make them feel bad or insecure about it’ several times, you tend to overthink everything you have ever said to them all over again. You are always so flustered when seven pairs of eyes are looking at you, waiting for an answer. You are tall, even taller than Namjoon, but under their curious stares you feel always so small, fiddling with your fingers around like a little schoolboy. You love that about them, putting you into such a submissive place just with their aura and charisma and giving you the feeling as if they overtower you physically too. 
“I can absolutely agree with Y/BF/N, communication is key. Why didn’t you told us those nasty fantasies you have in your cute head up here, right away? Too shy again? Do we really need to call your best friend the next time to get some hints to your secret kinks, Babyboy?”, Taehyung rasps into your earshell and wraps his arms around you. He chuckles slightly as you squeak high-pitched in surprise. 
An equal surprised yelp of your best friend comes out of the speaker of your phone which takes Yoongi out of your hand and excuse you with the apology that ‘they need to have an important talk with you now and that you have to hang up unfortunately’. 
The display of your phone turns dark and Yoongi puts it on the surface of the kitchen island before he flashes you a dirty smile. That you’re mortified that they caught you spilling all those filthy fantasies to your best friend is the understatement of the century. Never and you mean never did you hoped so bad that the floor opens up and swallows you whole, saving you from this embarrassing misery. But Yoongi give you much time to drown in shame, coming up to you and connect your lips to a rough kiss. 
“God, I love it when our so sweet and shy Baby has such nasty and indecent fantasies in his head... why don’t you tell us these ideas in every single filthy detail once again? I think we could turn the information into some very good use, big boy~”, whispers the smaller one with blown-out eyes against your lips.
“...or would you prefer that we call you a needy cumslut, hm? The things I’ve heard give me the assumption that you want to get fucked stupid and pumped full with cum as if you are our personal playtoy?”, growls Jungkook and grabs himself a handful of your right asscheek, kneading it with a firm grip in his big palm. 
“Come on, big boy, admit that you want exactly the things Jungkook just said... I can feel how fucking hard you just got from his words... already so hard and swollen against my palm even though we barely touched you. You’re truly such a pathetic, needy slut... I bet you’d already cum in your pants if we just tease you enough... Am I right?”, chuckles Namjoon in his deep, arousal soaked timbre against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot of your Adam’s apple. 
“...what about we change our location to the bedroom and talk about the things you’ve said to Y/BF/N? Maybe we could try some of your newest kinks out? Would you like the thought of us watching you from the couch while you prepare your needy asshole for us? Showing us how you stuff you clenching rim with a girthy dildo? Wearing a cockring so you couldn’t cum without our permission? Prepping yourself all messy, whining for our finger, tongues and dicks in your ass like the greedy slut you are? Yeah, you’d love that thought.”, Seokjin teases you mercilessly, rolling your sensitive balls in his palm, just how you like it.  “Y-Yes, Daddies... I’d love to be a greedy cumslut for you... please turn me into one!”, you wisper. 
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@cys-mental-escapades​; @bangtanloverboys​; @btsxmalereaders​
443 notes · View notes
bopbopstyles · 4 years
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BEHIND THE BAR
RATING: R/smut (sex, heavy alcohol use, lots of cursing, heavy banter)
WORD COUNT: 17.3k (she long and you may need to read on desktop)
CATEGORIES: bartender!y/n, fratboy!harry
MASTERLIST | INSPO TAG | Y/N’S LINGERIE | TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE BITS OF BANTER | BLURB MASTERLIST | DRABBLE TAG
a/n: the long awaited bartender!y/n fic has ARRIVED! thank you to my fabulous anons who dreamt up bartender!y/n and made me fall so in love with her and fratboy!harry’s dynamic that i had to write her. she is tattooed, sassy, and full of spunk and i ADORE her. if you need more of her and harry, check out the inspo tag which has all the discourse. concepts for these two are ALWAYS open. s/o to @harrystylescherry, @stellarboystyles, @harrysclementines​, @havethetimeofyourstyles​ for beta reading and @bfharry​ for providing harry’s dad joke 😘
“Cheers, Birthday Princess,” you told him, and then you bumped your glass against his, before tipping it back. Harry slammed the glass down on the counter and shook his head as the alcohol coursed through his veins.
Then, he leaned forward on the bar, resting his elbows on the alcohol-covered surface. You tried to keep it clean, but there was no way to keep up with it all. “How about a birthday kiss, Madam Bartender?”
“In your dreams,” you answered, realizing what you had said only after the words left your mouth.
Harry smirked, a dimple poking out. “We’ve already talked about dreams, Y/N. You know you’re already in them, so no need to beg for it.”
or
Y/N is a bartender and Harry’s obsessed with her
pls reblog and share with your friends 💕
In hindsight, perhaps taking a job as a bartender at the campus bar as a freshman wasn’t your smartest idea. You had to spend most of your weekend nights behind the bar trying to hear orders from slurring frat boys ordering the cheapest beer on tap and got shit tips because apparently your classmates didn’t care about tipping their bartenders. But at the same time, it was a great way to always drink for free and make friends, both with the other bartenders and with students who frequented the bar, as well as the neighborhood regulars earlier in the evening.
The thing you loved most about it, though, was the power you held behind the bar. It was your space, space where you made the rules and could throw out any person who messed with you. Which, as a stunningly gorgeous 21-year-old girl serving alcohol at a popular bar, happened plenty. You and Mike, the bouncer who usually shared shifts with you, had a hand signal that you could give him whenever someone was causing problems, and he would happily come to the bar and throw out whatever obnoxious man was giving you trouble. You frequently considered that Mike actually enjoyed throwing people out of the bar.
It was a Saturday night, the busiest night of the week and nearing one AM. The bar was packed, bodies pushing past one another to get to the bar, girls drumming their fingers on the fake wood counter. Tendrils of your long black hair stuck to the back of your neck, the result of constantly being on the move from the moment the rush hit until the bar closed. A cropped black tank top stuck to your skin, the sliver of skin between the hem of the shirt and the top of your black skinny jeans not enough to keep your body cool. Your ponytail swung back and forth as you moved, winding around Matt, the other bartender tonight, with ease. The two of you usually shared shifts, both being students and having the same availability. Generally, he was a good guy, taking the drunk guys so you didn’t have to deal with them and always making sure people didn’t give you trouble. The one downside to Matt, though, was his frat brothers. They appeared every shift without fail, bringing with them chaos and an inordinate amount of drink orders. They loved to annoy you, asking you the contents of every fancy drink they could think of and asking about your love life.
Tonight, it seemed, was no different.
You noticed the minute they entered the bar, a collection of t-shirts, a couple of jerseys you despised, and a button down shirt or two, all of them talking and yelling at each other. “Matt, your fan club is here!” You called down the bar, and Matt laughed as he grabbed the vodka off the wall to make a drink for two girls that were staring at him with wide eyes.
You grabbed two shot glasses and the handle of tequila from where you’d left it below the bar. “Salt and limes?” You asked the girls who had ordered the shots. They were most definitely not twenty-one, but then again, serving underage college students was how the bar made any business. The girls nodded, and so after you had poured the shots, you grabbed the salt shaker and two cut limes, pressing the limes into the rim of the glasses and pushing all the items across the bar. One of the girls handed you her card and you heard the words “Keep it open!” over Taste by Tyga and Offset that was blaring in the bar. It was your playlist, one that you’d perfectly curated for the bar with input from the other bartenders, and you were pretty proud of it.
After swiping the girl’s card and adding it to the stack of open tabs, you whirled back around to take the next customer. The sight of his brown curly mop and gleaming green eyes made you sigh—it was Harry. He, frankly, was a bit obsessed with you, but he was Matt’s little so you let it slide. Also, Harry’s attention didn’t make your skin crawl, instead it made your belly clench and witty comebacks fall easily from your mouth. The two of you had settled into a consistently flirtatious banter and you didn’t mind it, frankly. Sometimes, it was the highlight of your night.
The first time you ever met Harry, you noticed him long before he finally spoke to you. He was sitting at a booth not too long after your shift started, so it wasn’t super busy yet. He had caught your eye because he wouldn’t stop staring at you and he had a weird bandana wrapped up in his hair. (Or was it even a bandana? Maybe a scarf? You couldn’t be sure.) It wasn’t the creepy kind of stare that made you call the bouncer over, but the kind that made you blush against your every attempt not to. When Matt came in, a bit late as usual, Harry beelined to the bar, sitting down in front of him.
“Y/N, this is Harry,” Matt had said, grabbing the bottle of Jack from the wall and pouring some in a glass, then adding Coke to it before pushing the glass towards Harry. “He’s my little.”
You leaned onto the bar, the surface still dry since it wasn’t packed yet. “I was waiting for you to say hi. Saw you staring for the past fifteen minutes.”
The blush that rose to Harry’s cheeks made you smile at him, and Matt chuckled. “Staring isn’t nice, H.”
“Wasn’t staring,” Harry mumbled. “Just watching you make drinks.”
Your eyebrows lifted. “Have you never seen a bartender before?”
“No, fuck,” he said to himself and you internally grinned at making him a bit embarrassed. He was easy to mess with, especially now that you had confirmed that he had, in fact, been watching you. “You’re just good at it.”
You looked to Matt. “He thinks I make good drinks,” you informed your co-worker. “What do you think, Harry? Am I better than your big?”
Harry could tell he had dug himself into a hole, his eyes sweeping between you and Matt. “I—I don’t know—maybe?” Matt’s eyes widened and Harry stumbled over his words, trying to correct course. “No, no, Matt’s better. Matt is definitely better.”
You leaned forward a bit more, inching closer to Harry. “Thought you said I was good at it?”
You could feel his eyes drift to where your cleavage was exposed from the deep-v of your black t-shirt. “You are.”
“So which one of us is better?”
“You.”
Matt groaned and you moved away, a triumphant grin on your face. “Not fair,” Matt said. “Harry’s got a crush on you, of course he’d say you’re better!”
Harry choked on his drink and you raised your eyebrows at him. “A crush, huh?”
“Shit,” Matt said. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.”
You bumped your hip against his. “It’s ok, Matty boy. I figured that out when he wouldn’t stop staring at me.”
Harry blushed and you moved away, tending to the other customers at the bar.
That night had begun the back-and-forth between you and Harry, a playful dynamic of flirtation and jokes that usually left you triumphant and Harry blushing at the bar. He kept showing up early and Matt would tell you things like “Oh, he’s just coming by to drop off my charger” or “He just wants to chat.” All of them were excuses for Harry to be in the bar with just you, Matt, and a couple of customers, him having your relatively undivided attention. He’d tell you terrible jokes and ask you questions about your classes or family, most of which you ignored. You never asked him questions back, just let him talk and you listened, although you pretended like you didn’t, because you didn’t want to encourage him.
The truth was, though, you didn’t mind him. You kind of looked forward to those conversations. When he got really drunk he was a bit more annoying, repeating your name until you finally paid attention to him, only for him to say nothing except “You’re cute” or something along those lines. He entertained you, at least, and that was more than could be said for most of the patrons.
Tonight, it seemed, was no different than usual. “Y/N!” He said, shoving himself between two people who had managed to snag one of the green vinyl covered bar stools. His hair was messy, perhaps a bit sweaty, and he was swearing a black t-shirt, a silver chain tucked under his shirt. You could immediately tell he was decently drunk already, based on the glassy expression in his eyes and the grin on his face. “Want to hear a joke?”
You wiped off the bar with the towel over your shoulder before answering him. “Sure.”
“What did the therapist say when a naked man wrapped in cling film went into their office?”
“I don’t know,” you answered, resting your hands on the bar and looking at him dead on. “What did they say?”
Harry was grinning at you, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Clearly I can see your nuts.”
You groaned and Harry just guffawed. “Harry, that was horrible.”
“You just have no sense of humor.”
“Says the guy making jokes like that,” you shot back. “Now, what do you want?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black leather wallet. “Five fireball shots.”
You had to take a second before replying because the thought of a fireball shot makes you want to vomit. The combination of the cinnamon flavor and the burn it sent down your throat was one you hated, but it seemed Harry enjoyed it. “Really, Harry? Fireball?”
“What? It’s good!”
You shook your head, but grabbed shot glasses, laying them out in a line on the bar. “You’re insane.” You turned, grabbed the bottle of Fireball, and then returned to him.
“Make it six,” he said, slashing you a smirk.
“If it’s for me I am not drinking it.”
“You’re no fun.”
“I’m plenty of fun,” you told him, cocking your hip. “And I have good taste in alcohol.”
“Y/N, please,” he begged, pouting slightly for you.
Sometimes he was such a child, you thought as you gave in, grabbing another shot glass. “Fine,” you told him. “But this is the only time.” He grinned at you, and you just poured the shots, drawing a line down the glasses with the alcohol.
He snagged one of the shot glasses and you took one at the end. “Cheers,” he said, lifting his shot, and you did the same, knocking the glasses together enough for a clink to ring out.
You tipped the shot back, letting the burn of the cinnamon whiskey fall down your throat. You swallowed, dropped the shot glass to the counter, and looked to Harry. He was grinning, his empty shot glass on the bar. “Satisfied?”
“Very.” Then he picked up the shots, holding them together in his two massive hands, his rings clinking against the glass. You watched him walk away, his shirt disappearing into the throng of people, and then your attention was caught by another patron, asking you for a Long Island iced tea that made you laugh once you had turned away from them.
The night passed with many empty bottles of vodka and gin, the drinks of choice for all the girls who came up to the bar, and you nearly ran out of Budweiser, since it was on tap and the cheapest beer. You were bopping your head along with your playlist, Piece Of Your Heart by MEDUZA ringing through the speakers. The electronic music was supposed to help keep your energy up, but it was three AM and you were beginning to tire, the whiskey and coke you made yourself doing little to keep you going.
People were starting to filter out of the bar, groups heading to get a late night snack or head home. You were thankful for it—if you could start cleaning before official close you would be happy, perhaps being able to get home sooner.
“Can I get another whiskey coke?” You turned and Harry was sitting in a barstool at the bar, right in front of you.
You nodded, grabbing a glass and the handle of whiskey. “Where’d all your friends go?”
“They left.” He drummed his fingers against the wood, the light of the bar catching on the silver of his rings. You were a bit fascinated by them, if you were being honest. Why he wore them, where they came from, what they meant. The same questions rang in your head in reference to the tattoos that littered his arms and peeked out from under his shirt.
“You didn’t go with?” You pushed his drink towards him and returned the jack to its spot on the wall.
He shook his head, taking a sip of the drink you made him. “I was going to wait for Matt.”
You raised your eyebrows and then nodded towards where Matt was leaning over the bar, talking to some girl whose drink had long since been emptied. “I think he’s already got someone waiting for him.”
Harry looked to where Matt was and then shrugged, before turning his gaze back to you. “Guess I’ll just hang out with you, then.”
“Oh really?” You took some empty glasses off the bar where people had left them and dropped them into the bucket under the bar to be taken back to get cleaned.
“You’re more interesting than him anyway.”
You laughed, grabbing an empty shot glass and putting it in the bucket. “And why is that?”
“You’re hot.” He didn’t even pause before he replied.
He licked across his bottom lip after he said it and you couldn’t help but watch the action. It wasn’t like you didn’t know Harry thought you were attractive—you did. It was just that he had never outright told you, or been quite this forward. Usually he was skating around the topic and now that he wasn’t you didn’t quite know what to say. So you said the first thing that popped into your head. “Have you been behind a bar?”
“Only at the house.”
“Your frat house does not count as a bar.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“It is not a bar, Harry.”
“Fine. Then no, I haven’t.”
You took a step away from him and waved your hand at the space. “Would you like to?”
This time, it was him raising his eyebrows at you. “What am I going to be doing?”
“I’ll teach you to make drinks.”
“I know how to make drinks,” he scoffed.
“Jungle juice doesn’t count.”
He huffed and then pushed away from the bar, standing to his full height. “You’re being mean,” he stated, but walked to the end of the bar and came around the side anyways. “It feels so different from back here.”
You turned, one hand on the bar and the other on your hip. “What do you mean?”
“Dunno. Feel…powerful, I guess.”
You nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. “So, Mr. Bartender, what do you want to make first?”
Harry considered his options, looking around the bar and taking in the options in front of him. He looked a bit overwhelmed, if you were honest. You glanced around, checking on how busy it was, and you were thankful that it was pretty much empty, so no one would probably be bothering you and Harry. “I’ve always wanted to make an Old Fashioned.”
“Can do,” you answered, grabbing the proper glass from the shelf, and a bottle of your favorite bourbon, setting both on the counter in front of you. “Do you know what’s in one?” He shook his head, a slight blush on his cheeks, and you smiled to yourself. He could be so goddamned cute sometimes. “It’s whiskey, bitters, and a bit of sugar. Do you know how to muddle?” He shook his head again, and you nodded, grabbing the rest of the supplies you would need.
You spread it out in front of you, popping a sugar cube in the old fashioned glass. “So this is the bitters we’re going to use,” you informed him, passing him the bottle of Angostura bitters. “Put two dashes of that in the glass over the sugar.”
“What the fuck is a ‘dash’?”
“A bit,” you told him. “Just do it.”
He did as you asked, tapping bitters into the glass. “Is that enough?”
You nodded, and then grabbed the soda gun and pressed the button for water, adding a bit to the glass. Then, you passed him the muddler, which got very little use at this bar. In fact, you hadn’t made an Old Fashioned in ages—it wasn’t exactly the drink of choice for most college-aged people. “Now, you’re going to muddle this—like mix them together, crushing the sugar.”
“Why does mixology have the weirdest terms?” He said under his breath and you snorted. He did as you said, listening to your instructions, crushing the sugar and mixing it with the bitters in the glass, the sugar dissolving in the glass.
“Good. Now you add the ice.”
You pulled back the top of the cooler that held the ice, and Harry grinned as he picked up some  with the scooper and filled the glass with it. “Always wanted to do that.”
“And now you have.” You shut the top of the cooler and passed him the bourbon and a jigger. “An ounce and a half of bourbon,” you informed him.
He reached over and took the bottle and jigger, and his close proximity made you inhale. You could smell cologne, a bit of sweat from the party he was at earlier, and a trace of smoke as he moved. The scent had your spine straightening, your mind just as muddled as the contents of the glass. How did he smell so good? He was a college boy. Who gave him the right to be so goddamned attractive and smell this delicious? His long hair, the length not quite reaching his shoulders but close, swung slightly in your face as he pulled away, the tips of his curls brushing against your cheek. He was so close that if he turned his head, your lips would meet.
You tried not to think about that.
But he lingered close to you as he poured the bourbon in the jigger, your sides nearly touching, just half a step away from one another. If the music hadn’t been playing, you probably would’ve been able to hear him breathe and he could’ve heard your breath hitch when his bicep flexed as he held the bourbon. Your eyes trailed over the tattoos on his arms, dancing over the ship and the rose at his elbow, all the way down to the anchor at his wrist.
“Now you’re the one watching me.”
Your eyes snapped up to his, where he was looking at you, smirking. “Pour the shot in, Harry.”
He looked back to the jigger he was holding, and tipped it into the glass, the amber liquid dropping through the glass. You handed him the stirrer and he twirled it in the glass, before setting it back down on the bar. The sound of his rings hitting the glass sounded in your ears as he grasped the drink, bringing it to his lips.
His eyes were on yours as he tipped it back slightly, letting the alcohol pass between his lips. You tried not to focus on his Adam’s apple bobbing as he sipped. When he lowered the glass, his tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip, and it made you tug your own into your mouth softly. Then you asked, “How is it?”
With his gaze trained on your mouth, he answered, “Delicious.”
“Y/N!” Your head bounced up to see Mike darting his head inside. “Time for close.”
You looked up at the clock on the wall and realized he was right—more time had passed than you realized. “Shit—yeah, sorry Mike. Matt,” you called down the bar to your co-worker who was very caught up in his flirtation. “Will you kick all of these people out for me?”
“Even me?” Harry asked and you roll your eyes at him.
“You can stay,” you told him and he gave you a smile, taking another sip of his drink. “As long as you help me clean up.”
While Matt kicked the remaining stragglers out, making sure the ones that are too drunk get in an Uber, you and Harry cleaned up. He helped you flip chairs on top of tables and pick up the glasses littered across surfaces, even in the bathroom. You filled the bin with the glasses and took them into the kitchen, filling the industrial dishwasher to the brim. He even took a rag and wiped down the tables, singing along to the Tame Impala you’d turned on and finishing off his Old Fashioned. You put the bitters away and the remnants of the drink he had made, and toss some lime rinds into the trash, wiping off the last bit of the bar.
“I’m going to head out,” Matt called to you from the door. He’s got his arm wrapped around the girl’s shoulders, a wide smile on both of their faces. “You good, H?”
Harry nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to walk Y/N home.”
This was news to you. “I drove,” you replied.
“Then can I snag a ride?” He asked, and you shrugged. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Also, the idea of making him walk didn’t sound like a good idea, even though the frat house wasn’t too far from the bar.
“Sure.” You grabbed your purse and leather jacket from where you’d stashed them under the bar, and pulled them on. “C’mon, let’s go.”
You waved goodbye to Mike, who was left to lock up, and walked around back to where your car was parked. It was a must have for you, not wanting to walk home at four in the morning after a long night of working. Plus, you never drank much while you worked—all you had had was that disgusting Fireball shot earlier in the night and a whiskey coke throughout the evening. Harry followed behind you, his hands in his pockets as he walked, the faint light from the street lamp illuminating the sidewalk leading to the parking lot.
“It’s dark,” he said when you turned into the lot.
You unlocked your car and turned to look at him. “It’s four AM. Of course it’s dark.”
He moved towards the car, pulling open the passenger side door. “No, I just mean that it’s dark for you to be walking to your car alone.”
“Oh.” You tossed your purse into the backseat and slid into the driver’s side, flipping on the ignition. “Matt or Mike walk me to my car most nights.”
His long legs ended up a bit cramped in the passenger seat of your car and it made the corner of your mouth turn up. “Good,” is all he said before pulling on the seatbelt and clicking it. You reversed out of the spot, your phone automatically connecting to the Bluetooth as you flipped on your turn signal. “That’s the wrong way.”
You turned and looked at him. “Don’t you live at the house?”
He shook his head though. “No, I’ve got an apartment with some brothers on the West side of campus. Take a left here.”
You absorb this information and switch the turn signal. “Why don’t you live there? I thought most people did.”
“I like the privacy, I guess. When you live with all your brothers, they tend to know every bit of your business.” He was looking out the front windshield and you did the same, eyes on the dark streets in front of you. Being this close to him in the car had your body temperature spiking a bit, although you wouldn’t have admitted that to anyone. Harry was just the boy who flirted with you every chance he got and was Matt’s little. He was just someone to entertain you on slow nights or when you were stressed. Right?
“Take a left at the light,” he said, breaking you out of your trance. You flicked on your turn signal and eased into the turn lane, swinging your car onto a side street. “I’m having a birthday party next weekend at the house if you want to come,” he suddenly said.
Your eyes bounced to Harry, who wasn’t looking at you, his palms resting on his knees. You could sense the tension in his body—was he nervous? Did you make him nervous? “Is it your 21st?”
He quirked a smile at that. “How’d you know?”
“Well, you’re a junior. I just assumed.” Matt also might’ve mentioned it once or twice, but you didn’t tell Harry that.
A blush crept across his cheeks. “I—uh—it’s on Saturday at nine. We’re hitting the bars after, but the thing at the house is just going to be brothers and drinks and some music. Pretty low-key, I think.”
“I’ve got work,” you told him. “But I’ll try and stop by before my shift. I’m not supposed to be there until ten.”
He nodded quickly and you tried not to think about the fact that Matt was never going to let you live this down. What were you even doing, saying yes to Harry? You weren’t even interested in him. He was just a boy to flirt with, someone who told you bad jokes and ordered Fireball shots. “It’s right up here,” he said, pointing to a house off to the right.
You slowed the car in front of a one-story bungalow, a couple of cars in the driveway and lawn chairs on the front lawn. “You live in a house?”
“Somehow it was actually cheaper,” he explained, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Plus, kind of nice not having people complaining about the noise.”
The area was definitely still on campus, but you didn’t know anyone who lived over here. “Are your neighbors all students too?”
He nodded. “Some other brothers have a place a couple houses down, there’s a house of Pi Phis over there. But yeah, it’s all students. On game days it’s a fucking mess.”
You put the car in park, and turned off the ignition. “I can imagine.” Harry didn’t make any moves to get out of the car, just sitting there staring at the dashboard of your old Toyota, his hands fidgeting on his thighs. “Harry?”
“Fuck,” he exhaled, catching his bottom lip in his teeth. “I...” Then he glanced over at you, and under the dim streetlamp you could see the expression in his eyes. It’s one you knew well. It’s the look he gave you when you wore your favorite lace bodysuit that was conservative enough to wear out, or when you gave him just as flirtatious of a comeback as the one he served you.
Then, all of a sudden he was moving towards you, his hand curving around the back of your neck and pulling you towards him. It was awkward, the seatbelt holding back your shoulder, but it didn’t stop you from leaning towards him, meeting him halfway. His lips tasted like bourbon and bitters, a trace of Fireball when you nibbled on his bottom lip that was just tucked between his teeth. He was sweet with an edge of fire, and when he tilted his chin slightly to change the angle, rotating his head just enough to kiss you deeper, you knew you were fucked.
For so long, you had been trying to keep him at a distance. Just let him exist as a flirtation, nothing more than that. You’d ignored the thoughts that blazed through your mind when you were drunk with your friends and saw him at a party, his lips on some girl, and you wondered what they would taste like on yours. Now that he was kissing you and you knew what they tasted like, there was no way you would be able to forget.
Especially the way his fingers threaded through your hair, his rings cool against your warm scalp. How he tugged on your lip with his teeth and you let out a soft whine, pulling him closer by the neck of his shirt. The fact that it was nearing four thirty in the morning and you were in your car making out, your seatbelt still on, didn’t seem to matter. The exhaustion that had been all-consuming earlier was gone, your body rushing with adrenaline from the feeling of his mouth tucked against yours, his hands on your skin and the way his lips searched for yours when you pulled away for air.
“I should go home,” you said, breathing heavily as you moved back into your seat.
Harry was looking at you intensely, his lips slick from your saliva, his cheeks flushed from kissing you. His hands still lingered on your neck and hip, and you weren’t ready for him to let go. However, you needed sleep, otherwise the rest of the day was not going to be pretty. You had a paper due on Tuesday you had to write and if that didn’t happen this afternoon after you slept you were fucked. “Yeah,” he finally answered, pulling away. “It’s late.” He shuffled in the seat, turning to push open the door. “Get home safe, okay?”
You nodded, and with one lingering look at you, Harry slid out of the car and shut the door behind him. Under the dim lights you watched him walk to his front door, pulling open the screen door and unlocking it. Once he was inside, you finally turned back on your car and put it in drive, peeling away from the curb without a glance back.
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On Tuesday, you were knee-deep in edits for your paper when your phone screen lit up with a text. Despite the fact that you told yourself you would be ignoring any notifications that flashed across your screen, you were intrigued by this message because it was from a number you didn’t recognize. So you leaned back in the uncomfortable wooden chair you were sitting in (chosen to make sure you stayed awake) and grabbed your phone.
The sight of the message made you choke on air.
Hey, Y/N, this is Harry. Matt gave me your number, I hope that’s ok?
That was it. The whole message. What the fuck were you supposed to do with that? “Fuck,” you muttered to yourself, because now you couldn’t ignore it. You had your read receipts on, something you turned on one time when you were breaking up with an ex and wanted him to know that you were ignoring his messages on purpose, and never turned off. So now Harry knew you had read his message.
So you typed back, hey! what’s up?
The typing dots appeared and you had the sudden urge to throw your phone halfway across the room as you waited for his reply. But you didn’t, because Harry’s text popped through before you could take any actions to make it seem as though you weren’t staring at your phone waiting for his text.
Just wanted to say thanks for the ride home on Saturday. Then, in a separate message, Also, the invite for my birthday party still stands, but no pressure.
You nibbled on the edge of your thumb nail, your other thumb poised over the screen as you considered what to reply. You decided on coy. i'll see how it goes :) you wrote out, and then thumbs up reacted to his thank you text.
Looking forward to it is what he replied with, and that felt like the end of the conversation, so you locked your phone, turned it on Do Not Disturb, and tried to re-focus on the paper open on your computer screen.
It took everything in your body not to check your phone a couple more times, just to see if he’d kept the conversation going. You had no idea what to say to him—he was the one who texted you in the first place. It seemed like his job to keep the conversation going, not yours. So you let the conversation linger, not even saving his number in your phone.
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When Saturday rolled around, you considered for a long time whether or not you were going to go to Harry’s birthday party. Matt had texted you too, combining the text with a notice that he wasn’t working that night and Lucy was covering his shift, which meant you were going to be doing all the heavy lifting. Lucy was a freshman, new to bartending, and most definitely was hired so she would be ready to replace you when you graduated next year. The fact that Matt texted you told you that Harry must really want you to come, even if it was just for a bit.
So you turned on your getting ready playlist and grabbed your favorite bodysuit—it was long sleeved and high necked with a mesh leopard print, meaning that when you wore your black bralette underneath it, it would show through. It was enough to get eyes on you (you could neither confirm nor deny if you specifically meant Harry’s eyes), but not too much that you felt completely exposed, thanks to the long sleeves. You grabbed your black jeans, even though in an ideal world you would’ve chosen your leather skirt instead, but the last thing you wanted was alcohol stuck to your legs all night or some asshole seeing up your skirt when you bent over for ice.
You kept your makeup simple, but in line with the outfit—a light smokey eye, eyeliner, and a tinge of a deep red to your lips. Rhea, your roommate, let you use her dry shampoo, so you sprayed it at your roots, giving your day-old hair some revival. With a pair of gold hoops and a pep talk, you were ready, your phone and wallet slipped into the pocket of your trusty leather jacket.
You had never been to a frat house when you couldn’t hear the music pounding from outside. But as you walked up the grassy front lawn to the KDR house, it seemed quiet—all the lights on, even. You rapped on the door twice, running your hand through your hair as you waited for the door to open. When it did, a guy was standing there who you were pretty sure you recognized from the bar—he was close with Matt and Harry, you thought.
“You’re the bartender, Y/N!” He said, pointing at you with his index finger, lifting it from the red solo cup he held in his hand.
“I am,” you replied. “Harry and Matt invited me.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, and you tried not to read into that too much. “Come on in, I’m Caleb, Harry’s little.” And that, you realized, was why he was always hanging out with Harry and Matt. You followed Caleb down the hall, which had composite photos on the wall going back to the 70s and 80s. It was weird being inside the house with all the lights on, because you could actually see everything for the first time. You saw what was usually a coat room and discovered it was actually a study of sorts, bookshelves with textbooks and random course books lining the shelves and a couple of old leather chairs in the corner that you usually stashed your jacket on.
He turned into the long living room and kitchen, which was where most of the parties happened in their house, and you were met by a pong table and a collection of boys, many of whom you recognized from the bar. Your eyes scanned over the group, and you found that you were, unsurprisingly, one of four girls in attendance. The others were next to brothers, an arm slung around their shoulders. You found Matt and Harry easily in the crowd, Matt saying something to Harry with his palm pressed to Harry’s chest, his other hand gripping a can of Natty Light. How he could drink such watered down piss while being a bartender you didn’t know and you quickly decided you would be ragging on him for it the next time you worked together.
“Bartender girl!” One of the guys called out, and that made Harry and Matt’s heads immediately swivel towards where you were standing. The discomfort that had been lingering was suddenly there in full force. You hated being the center of attention, something most people never expected since you thrived at the bar. The key part of being a bartender, though, was you had the bar between you and the patrons. It was a safety net, something that gave you power and confidence. Without it, though, you felt naked in a situation like this.
The sight of a tiara on Harry’s head, though, immediately made you feel more at ease. The words Birthday Princess were printed on the tiara in bright pink writing, and the sight of it resting in Harry’s hair brought a smile to your face.
Matt immediately broke into a grin and widened his arms, which you rolled your eyes at. “Y/N! You made it!”
You walked over to him, having nothing else to do, but didn’t give him a hug. “Barely. I can’t stay long—I’m supposed to be there at 10 so Lucy doesn’t kill someone with her heavy handed pouring.”
He chuckled, and then gave Harry a clap on the back. “I’m going to go check on the beer. Have fun, H.”
It left you and Harry alone—or as alone as you could be in a crowded room. Your eyes roamed his body, the black silky shirt drawing in your eyes, white stitching that spelled out his last name on the chest, the way it was unbuttoned low. It was the first time you’d been able to see his tattoos—the edges of what seemed to be wings on his collarbones that you wanted to see the rest of, and a silver chain with a cross hanging on it lying on his chest. You could feel his eyes on you too, and steeled yourself under his gaze, trying to remain confident as you stood in front of him.
“Nice tiara,” you said, breaking the silence.
He blushed, reflexively reaching up to touch it. “I was hoping you didn’t notice.”
“It’s literally a bright pink tiara on your head, Harry, how could I not notice?”
“Matt and Caleb made me wear it. My other little, Tyler, bought it and insisted.”
“Can’t let the family down?” You said, the corners of his lips lifting.
“Guess not.” A silence fell between you again and you busied yourself by investigating the space you were in. The worn couches on the wall, a massive dining table with alcohol covering it, dishes in the sink and a stack of red solo cups on the counter. It seemed like exactly what you would expect from a fraternity house, even if there wasn’t a party going on. Finally, he cleared his throat and thickly asked you, “Want to play pong?”
You blinked, not expecting the question, but shrugged. “Sure.”
“I’ll drink any you don’t want to,” he said.
“Why? Think I’m not any good?”
“No—I just—you drove, right?” He was stumbling over his words and it made you give him a small smile. You decided to be a bit of a tease, and brushed your fingers over the stitches on his shirt, just to mess with his brain a bit.
“I did,” you answered. “But I don’t think I’ll be drinking too much.”
His eyes widened a tad and you watched as he swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Let’s see your skills, then,” he finally said and you followed him over the table, where they were setting up for another round. He set down his cup on the side of the table and you fiddled with the cups, making the lines straighter. “Ready?” He asked you, his body shifting closer to yours. There was just a hair of space between your hips and you sucked in a breath before nodding.
You hadn’t thought this through, you quickly realized, because pong meant that there was barely any space between the two of you, and he kept brushing against your back and arm as he moved around. When he passed you the ball his fingers touched yours and your eyes would flit to his, only to find his green irises looking right back. The scent of his cologne and the alcohol on his breath wrapped around you when he laughed close to your ear, the contact of his skin on yours when he gave you a high five and lightly gripped your hand for just a beat too long sent shivers down your spine. When he picked up a cup to drink from it, you watched as his lips—the ones you had kissed exactly a week ago—wrapped around the rim and the beer slid down his throat. You were actively trying not to think about kissing down the column of his neck as you looked back to your cups on the other side of the table.
“Can I get gentlemen’s?” You asked and next to you, Harry nodded, agreeing with your decision to re-rack.  The guys playing you quickly reshuffled your cups and you dropped the beer-covered ball into a cup of water to your right. When you picked up the ball and rolled it between your fingers, you decided to tease Harry a bit more, because it was your favorite pastime. You offered the ball to him, clasped between your thumb and forefinger, and looked him dead in the eyes. “Blow on it for good luck?”
His eyes widened, but then a cocky grin drifted across his cheeks. He leaned in and blew softly on the white pong ball, his pupils dark and focused on yours. Then, at a volume only you could hear, he whispered, “Sure you don’t want me to blow something else?”
Rather than give him the satisfaction of knowing he had your pulse stuttering, you licked your lips and replied with, “Let’s see if you’re so cocky when I’m on my knees.” You turned back to the cups and with ease, you threw the ball as it sank into a cup. You peeked a glance up at Harry, only to find him already staring at you, blinking in rapid succession. “Your turn, Styles.” You grabbed the other ball and pressed it to the stitching on his chest and his lips quirked up, snatching the ball from your grasp.
“Kiss for good luck?” Your eyebrows lifted at his words and he was smiling at you, a cocky gaze fixed on you.
“In your dreams,” you answered with an eye roll.
“Oh, baby, you’re already in them,” he whispered as he tossed the ball. It hit the rim of your one remaining cup before falling in perfectly.
His words rang loudly in your ears as Harry raised his arms above his head in success, ignoring the words he just had said to you. You, however, couldn’t say the same. They were running through your head on a loop. He dreamt about you? You wanted to know more, wanted to know every bit of his dreams, what they looked like and what you did in them.
At the sound of your name you blinked, pushing yourself out of your daydreams. “Yeah?”
It was Harry, his palm resting on your lower back and burning the skin with his touch. “It’s almost ten.”
“Fuck,” you breathed out, pulling your phone from your jacket. “I—shit I have to go. Sorry.”
He shook his head. “S’fine. I’ll walk you to the door.”
You waved goodbye to your opponents and some of the other boys you had been introduced to. Harry’s hand left your body as you both walked, and you couldn’t help but be disappointed. “Happy Birthday, by the way,” you said as you turned into the hallway, the chatter of the boys over the music fading a bit.
Harry dug his hands into his pockets and smiled at you. “Thank you. And thanks for coming. It—it was nice, having you here.”
The softness in his tone was in direct conflict with the banter at the pong table, but you didn’t mind. You kind of liked that the two of you had this duality, the ability to go each direction. “I had fun.” You pulled your car keys out of your pocket and turned the knob on the door. “I’ll have a birthday Fireball shot waiting with your name on it, Birthday Princess.”
That made his smile turn into a grin, his dimples popping out as you stepped across the threshold and onto the front porch. “Looking forward to it, love.”
As you walked away, you tried not to let his term of endearment fill your every thought, but it was hard, especially when you looked back and he was standing in the doorway, watching you walk to your car. You exhaled and opened the driver’s side door, realizing that you had dug yourself into quite the mess with this boy.
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You had been watching the door out of the corner of your eye all night, waiting for Harry and all of his friends to arrive. Lucy had noticed and pestered you about it, but you hadn’t given in. You didn’t feel like the entire bar staff knowing your personal business—Matt was plenty. You busied yourself by serving patrons, making an absurd number of vodka tonics (which you despised, but you had found freshman girls preferred them to gin, for some reason) and opening bottle after bottle of beer.
You were humming along to Broken Clocks by SZA when the door opened and your name was called over the bar, Matt’s voice booming in the space. “Y/N, I need a shot for the birthday boy!” Harry was standing next to him, Matt’s arm thrown over his shoulder, a grin on his face.
You turned and quickly queued In Da Club by 50 Cent, before grabbing the bottle of Fireball off the shelf. When you turned back to the bar, Harry was standing in front of you, the Birthday Princess tiara unfortunately absent. “Where’s your crown, Birthday Princess?” You asked, pouring the dark liquid into a shot glass for him.
“It’s a tiara, Y/N,” he corrected, snatching the shot. “And Caleb accidentally broke it.” You could tell by the twinkle in his eyes and the color in his cheeks that he was more than a few drinks in, no doubt doing shots with the rest of the party before hitting the bars.
“Good to know,” you answered, and just because he was so goddamned cute, you grabbed another shot glass and poured yourself a shot of Fireball.
“Takin’ a shot with me?”
“It’s your birthday, isn’t it?”
Harry was about to say something when the music changed and he let out a cheer, Matt and Caleb and another boy, who you assumed was Tyler, pounded on the bar on either side of him. Then, they began to sing and you could help but guffaw.
“Go, go, go, go go, go, go, shawty/It's your birthday/We gon' party like it's yo birthday/We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday/And you know we don't give a fuck/It's not your birthday!” They sang, and you couldn’t help but join in at the end.
“Shots, shots, shots!” Matt cheered, and Harry lifted his shot glass, raising his eyebrow at you.
“Cheers, Birthday Princess,” you told him, and then you bumped your glass against his, before tipping it back. Harry slammed the glass down on the counter and shook his head as the alcohol coursed through his veins.
Then, he leaned forward on the bar, resting his elbows on the alcohol-covered surface. You tried to keep it clean, but there was no way to keep up with it all. “How about a birthday kiss, Madam Bartender?”
“In your dreams,” you answered, realizing what you had said only after the words left your mouth.
Harry smirked, a dimple poking out. “We’ve already talked about dreams, Y/N. You know you’re already in them, so no need to beg for it.”
You rolled your eyes at him and pushed lightly on his cheek, a pout settling onto his lips. “Shut up, Styles.”
“Meanie,” he said, moving back to rest normally against the bar. “You have to be nice to the birthday boy, didn’t you hear?”
“Not if he’s a prick,” you informed him, resting your hands on the lip of the bar and locking your elbows, leaning slightly forward. “Now, do you guys want anything else, or are you just going to annoy me all night?”
“Four whiskey cokes,” Matt told you. “And make ‘em strong.”
Throughout the night, their group achieved higher and higher levels of drunkenness. They started singing a Cheetah Girls song in their corner booth, much to your enjoyment, and Matt got on the table, something Mike only allowed because he was an employee, and made the entire bar sing Harry Birthday to Harry. When Mamma Mia came on, Tyler—who you were increasingly discovering was pure chaos in a body, perhaps even more chaotic than Harry and Matt combined—tried to start a conga line through the bar. Not only was he stopped by Mike, but also by the sheer number of people packed into the space.
Meanwhile, you were left behind the bar, fielding drink requests and racking up students’ credit cards with drinks they probably would forget ordering in the morning. You even had one Beer Baptism, an exciting element of the night, when some hockey player informed you he has drank every beer on tap, meaning he had achieved his Beer Baptism status. Harry and Matt lost their shit in the corner when you announced it and rang the bell over the bar, before grabbing two full pints of the hockey player’s requested beer of choice—Budweiser, for some fucking reason—and poured it over his head.
After three, the bar had started to empty out, but the four musketeers in the corner were still going strong. Harry kept coming up to you and asking for a shot of this or such and such drink, and even requested to make an Old Fashioned behind the bar again. You told him he was too drunk to make it right, but next time he could. Every time he came up he offered some sexual innuendo or bad joke, a lingering touch on your hand when you passed him his drink, or a wink that left u scowling at him. He even unbuttoned his shirt a few more buttons so by the time it was just him and his lineage in the corner, it was barely even on him. The whole idea of “No shoes, no shirt, no service” was quickly becoming a possible line you could use, especially when he kicked his feet up on the table and Caleb was trying to grab at his boots and pull them off, much to your amusement.
At 3:45, there were no patrons left except for the booth full of boys, so you had Lucy start cleaning up while you grabbed a beer—your first drink of the night other than the shot you did with Harry—and walked over to the boys. Harry was on the end, since he kept on coming and going from the booth, his knees spread wide and one arm slung over the back of the seat. At the sight of you approaching, he straightened up and set his drink down on the table.
“Hey,” he said, drawing out the Y as you slid in next to him, his arm falling easily around your shoulders.
“Hello,” you answered, nudging his knee with yours. “You’re man spreading all over my booth, Styles.”
Tyler snorted and Harry shifted, pulling his knees in closer together. “Didn’t know it was your booth.”
“I work here, you know.”
“I noticed,” he answered, tongue running over his lip as he looked at you. “I like this top you’ve got on.”
You sipped on your beer before replying, “It’s a bodysuit, actually.”
“So I’ve got a genuine question,” Matt said, leaning in towards you from across the table. “How do you pee with that on?”
“It’s got snaps on the crotch.” For some reason Tyler and Caleb blush at the word crotch and it makes you smile internally. “Can be a bitch to take on and off, though.”
“Huh.” Matt leaned his cheek on his palm. “I never fully understood the appeal.”
“Well,” you said, placing your beer on the table. “They tuck into pants and skirts so there’s smooth lines. But also it kind of feels like you’re wearing lingerie.”
That had all the boys blushing, including Harry, who said, “So that’s like lingerie to you?”
You glanced down at the lace long-sleeved bodysuit you wore and shrugged. “Guess so.”
“I always thought lingerie involved less material, not full on sleeves.”
You mulled this over, and decided to push his buttons a bit more. “So is a babydoll not considered lingerie to you?”
His eyebrows scrunched up and if you were being honest, the expression was positively adorable. You wondered if it was the face he gave when he couldn’t figure out a math problem or was looking at IKEA instructions. “The fuck’s a babydoll?”
“Other than a pet name?” You threw back and Harry quirked a smile. “It’s like a…sexy nightgown, I guess you could say.”
“Sexy nightgown.” Harry stated, mulling over the thought in his head, and you watched as he brushed a hand through his hair, considering the concept. “And that would have more material than what you’re wearing right now?”
You shrugged and took another sip of your beer. “Arguably.”
“Then yeah, I guess that’s still considered lingerie. A sexy nightgown, huh?” He blew out a breath of air and looked to the boys across the booth from you. “Damn, the girls I’ve been seeing have been holding out on me.”
The boys laughed, but you wanted Harry’s attention back on you. Maybe it was the close proximity of his body or the smell of his cologne that overwhelmed your senses, or the way you could see the butterfly tattoo on his abdomen and the low rise of his incredibly tight skinny jeans, but you wanted him. Badly.
So you reached down and placed a hand on his thigh, high enough to make his breath catch but not too high where you were actually touching him. Just close enough to make him consider the prospect. “You’ve been picking the wrong girls, then,” you said, the words low in your chest and Harry’s eyes were on you in an instant. Immediately there was movement on the other side of the booth, Tyler, Caleb and Matt sliding out one by one. “Leaving, boys?”
Matt nodded. “H?”
Harry’s eyes hadn’t left your face and the weight of his gaze had your heart pumping a mile a minute. “I think I’m going to stay.”
His fingers moved from the booth seat next to him to cover your hand that rested on his thigh, slowly inching it up his pant leg. “I’ll take him home,” you said, glancing back to Matt. “I’ll let you know when he’s home, okay?”
Matt gave Harry another look, and then nodded, obviously trusting you to take care of his friend. “Let me know if you need anything.” With that, he turned away, waving to Lucy and giving Mike a slap on the back on his way out.
Your attention turned back to Harry, who had somehow slid closer to you on the seat. “What was all that talk about lingerie, hmm?” He asked, the hand that rested next to your shoulder moving to rub the top of your arm, heat surging through your veins at his touch. “You always chew me out for sayin’ shit to you, and then you go and say that. In front of my friends, no less.”
You drummed your fingers on his inner thigh and caught the way he swallowed thickly at the feeling. “I wanted to see what you’d say, I guess.”
“And?”
“I now know you’ve never seen a babydoll. Or nearly enough lingerie.”
He sucked in a breath and then leaned his head down, his lips brushing against your earlobe. “Is that your way of asking me if I’d like to see your collection?”
Your heartbeat was thudding in your ears as he grazed your hair with his nose, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. He had your insides moving in circles like they were on a merry-go-round, consumed in nothing but him. Slowly, you lifted your leg closest to his so it hooked over his knee, tugging yourself closer to him. “Perhaps.”
Under the low lights of the bar, the green of his eyes twinkled at you, your coyness making him grab at your knee, kneading his thumb into your skin over your jeans. “You told Matt you’d take me home.”
“I did.”
“What’s the likelihood we could change the destination on that ride home?”
Your hand moved from his thigh to his torso, skittering over his shirt and tucking against his exposed skin, his butterfly tattoo flexing under your touch. “I could be convinced. What did you have in mind?”
“Your place,” he said, hand squeezing your knee tightly when you scratched his skin softly. “Fuck, Y/N.”
“You’re drunk,” you told him simply.
With a combination of tenderness and need that had you desperate for him, he nudged your temple with his nose and said, “I won’t be in the morning.”
“Is that right?” The feeling of his breath in your ear made you grab at his side, pulling at his skin with your hand, wanting just to feel him in some way. You were sober and yet he had you feeling drunk, drunk on need and desire. “Then come on, Birthday Princess.”
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The wood of your front door slammed against your back the second you shut the door behind you, Harry’s body pinning you to the door. His hands tugged on your hips and your hands were in his hair and the sounds falling from your mouth were positively sinful. The way he pulled on your bottom lip and sucked on it, making you press up into his body, hands tugging at his shirt, how his hands fell to your ass and squeezed, you squeaking into his mouth. How he lifted one of your legs and hooked it around his hips, allowing your centers to meet, and he shakily exhaled. It was consuming, kissing Harry, trying to keep track of what he was doing and then finally giving up and just losing yourself in him, in the way he touched you and made your entire body erupt in flames.
“Jump,” he said, pulling at your other thigh and you did so immediately, not even wasting a beat before hooking your ankles around his hips and letting him grind into you.
You let out a wanton moan at the feeling of the friction from your jeans meeting and rubbing into you, and from the way his breath caught, you knew he was just as affected as you were. His necklace swung on its chain as he pulled away and sucked a line of kisses down your neck, just as you had thought about doing to him earlier. When he prodded at your pulse point with his teeth and then licked over the spot you tugged on his hair, his name a broken whimper on your lips.
Hands met skin, both of you needing more and more. You pushed at his shirt, the predominantly unbuttoned garment falling easily from his shoulders and pooling at his elbows. The fresh skin served as an opportunity, and you took it, bending your head and licking across his collarbones, his head tipping back at the feeling. You sucked a mark onto the protruding bone, right over the wing of one of his swallows, and blew on it when you were done, Harry hissing above you.
From the way his fingers were digging into your jeans and you were panting in his hold, you knew that if you didn’t slow things down they were going to get out of hand—and quickly. So you lightly pushed at his shoulders, his gaze bouncing up to your eyes. “We should stop,” you mumbled, sucking in air finally. “Just—just sleep for now. Yeah?”
“‘m feeling more sober now,” he said, diving back into your neck, but you pulled on his hair, hauling him away.
“I had to literally help you walk to my car.”
He pouted at you. “That was a weak moment.”
But you shook your head at him, having none of it. “I want you at full capacity,” you told him, and his jaw dropped slightly, just enough to part his lips and you to press a finger into the space. His teeth tugged on your nail and finger pad, eyes on yours. “Want you fully sober so I can see what I’ve been waiting for.” Then you dropped your finger from his lips and ran it along his jawline, watching his eyes try to take in every one of your motions. “Plus, I want you to be able to remember my lingerie collection when I model it for you.”
When Harry groaned, it was deep and unrestrained, a demand from the most feral part of him. His head dropped to your chest and you pushed through his locks, his panting breath on your skin through your bodysuit. “I’m not gonna be able to sleep with that image running through my head.”
You rested your hands on his shoulders and pressed down on them so you could unhook your ankles and drop to the floor. “I think you’ll manage. Now, c’mon, let’s get ready for bed.”
His fingers threaded through yours as you pulled him through your apartment, thankful Rhea was spending the night at her boyfriend’s so she wouldn’t be awoken from the giggles that left your mouth when Harry tripped over your shoes and the corner of your bookcase in the living room. You led him to your bedroom and left the door open, walking over to your dresser, kicking off your booties on your way. “Are you going to take this off?” His fingers graced over the top of your shoulder and you inhaled sharply.
“Yes.” You unhooked your hoop earrings and dropped them into your jewelry box. “Is that a problem?”
“Slightly,” he answered, fingers trailing down your arm. “I was hoping to do that myself.”
You turned around so he was facing you, eyes blown out in desire and cheeks flushed from the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed that night. “Then do it.”
His tongue darted out quickly, licking the center of his lips, and then he smiled at you, a boyish look of delight. “Is this my birthday gift?” Fingers brushed the top of your jeans and you nodded. “Goddamn, aren’t I lucky.” He popped the button and drew your zipper down, eyes fluttering to yours to make sure you were okay as he moved his hands to your hips, pushing the material down. “Holy fuck,” he suddenly breathed out and you glanced down.
The tattoo on your left hip had caught his attention, his palm resting just above where it started, his eyes trained on the ink on your skin. “What? You’ve got plenty of them.”
A chuckle left his mouth, and then he just shook his head. “You keep on surprising me.” His fingers crept down your skin, brushing against the chrysanthemums that covered from where your bodysuit sat on the rise of your hips to a bit down your thigh. “Does it mean anything?”
You nodded slowly. “It was my grandmother’s favorite flower.”
He must have noticed your word choice, because he quietly said, “I’m sorry,” before bending down and kissing over your tattoo. You inhaled sharply and watched as he tugged your jeans the rest of the way down your legs. Once you’d stepped out of them, he rose back to full height. “Can I take this thing off?” He asked, pulling softly on the hem of your bodysuit.
“Yes.”
“Snaps, hmm?” He ducked his head and you widened your legs enough for him to be able to tuck his hand between your legs. The pads of his fingers brushed over your clit and you couldn’t help the whimper that felt from your lips, the sound of it making Harry smile. “I can feel you.” He pressed lightly to your center through the two layers of material and you gripped the dresser you were leaning against.
You hadn’t been this wet, this in need of someone in such an all consuming way, in ages. Most people would have probably been embarrassed, but you just nodded, affirming his statement. Yes, you were wet, and yes it was all for him.
In a flourish, he gripped your bodysuit where the snaps laid and pulled, the sound of the fastenings coming undone cascading through your silent room. “Convenient,” he muttered to himself. Then, his hands pushed the mesh fabric up, revealing your black lace thong and the stretch of your bare stomach. “You know,” he said, squeezing at the curve of your torso, “I quite liked this thing. All that mesh. Could see your bra all night and it drove me fucking crazy just having to watch and not be able to touch you.”
When he pushed it above your breasts, revealing your lacy bralette, you lifted your arms and let him pull it over your head, the fabric falling to the ground. “Well, now you can,” you informed him.
The gaze he fixed you made your skin tingle. Without another beat, his hands were on your breasts, fingers brushing across your skin and then dipping into the material. With your breasts exposed, he whispered your name, forgotten on his tongue when he leaned in and fastened his lips to your nipple, the skin hardening immediately from the wetness on his tongue.
Curses left your mouth in a string, hands tugging on his hair as he prodded at your skin. He didn’t linger there though, seeming to be too focused on the greater task, because he lifted his head from your chest after a minute or so. And then his hands were at your back, unhooking your bralette and pulling it from your body, revealing your nearly fully naked body to him. His thumbs brushed over the solar system tattooed on your ribcage and you shuddered at the feeling.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he mumbled, eyes taking you in. “Good god.”
The heat that rushed to your cheeks you couldn’t stop, so instead you distracted yourself with teasing him. “Take your shirt off.” His eyebrows raised, but he followed your directions, unbuttoning the final button and pulling the material off of his shoulders. As he was about to drop it to the ground you stopped him, taking the fabric in your hands. He watched in fascination as you pulled it over your shoulders, buttoned the middle two buttons, and then looked up at him. The shirt covered most of your ass, the tops of your thighs and your tattoo exposed.
“Like my shirt, huh?”
You nodded, and then decided it was your turn to touch his skin. Your hands criss-crossed across his exposed chest, brushing across the marks you had left and down, tracing his nipples until they pebbled, and then down to the laurels on his pelvis, barely peeking out from the top of his jeans. Then, you popped the button on his jeans, and when he didn’t stop you, you pushed them down his legs, struggling a bit with how tight they were, but succeeding finally. He was left in nothing but his briefs, a lion tattoo on his thigh exposed to your eyes and some small ink on his knees you thought was cute. You wondered how drunk he was when he did it, but decided not to ask.
“What happened to getting ready for bed?” He asked, hands running up and down your arms.
“We’re dressed for bed, aren’t we?” You turned around though, and led him out of your room and down the hall to where the bathroom was. “Go ahead—I’m going to get us some water. Use anything you want, except my toothbrush. There’s spares under the sink.”
You left him to his own devices and made your way through your apartment, grabbing two glasses and filling them with water, tucking a bottle of ibuprofen under your arm. He would need it in the morning. After leaving them on your bedside table, you headed for the bathroom where the door was open, Harry brushing his teeth at the sink. You slid in next to him and he moved to the side, allowing you to grab your face wash and splash water on your face, swiping the liquid in circles over your skin. After your moisturizer and eye cream, you started brushing your teeth, trying not to focus on how Harry was just leaning against the wall watching you.
“You good over there?” You asked, spitting into the sink and rinsing off your toothbrush before dropping it into the jar on the sink that held them.
He nodded. “This is going to sound weird,” he said, “but I feel…comfortable with you. Like this kind of shit,” he gestured to the bathroom, “I’ve never done this.”
“Brushed your teeth?”
“No,” he grumbled, grabbing for your hips. “I don’t usually get ready for bed when I spend the night with girls.”
You tried not to read into that statement, to wonder if you were some normal hookup or something more. Instead, you leaned in and pecked his lips, before tugging him out of the bathroom and towards your room. “Water’s on the table,” you told him, shutting the door behind you as you stepped inside. “And some ibuprofen, if you want it.”
He walked over to the opposite side of the bed and gulped down the water, tossing some of the medicine on his tongue and finishing off the water. “Thanks.”
“Of course,” you answered, and then pulled back the covers on your bed. You settled in between the sheets, and watched as Harry slid in beside you, obviously trying to gauge what you wanted. Once he was comfortable, you shuffled towards him, and without thinking too much into it, you rested your head on his chest. He immediately brought his arm around your body, holding you close to him. “Night,” you mumbled.
“Night, Y/N.” His voice was gravelly from exhaustion and alcohol, and you shut your eyes, falling asleep to the rise and fall of his chest.
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You blinked, eyelids heavy from exhaustion, as you woke up. Sunlight was streaming in your curtains, which despite being blackout curtains, could do little to hold back at the sun in the morning. As you gathered your senses, you realized that the other side of your bed was empty. Picking up your head, you took inventory of the room—Harry’s boots on the floor, your clothes haphazardly tossed in your laundry basket, your phone charging on your bedside table and a full water glass sitting there.
You had finished yours last night, if you remembered correctly. But you shrugged and grabbed the water, chugging it as you unplugged your phone and checked the time. It was noon, which was the normal time you woke up after a shift, meaning you’d had somewhere between seven and eight hours of sleep. You could’ve slept for hours, but what was more urgent than a couple more hours of sleep was where Harry had run off to. Slowly you pulled yourself up, Harry’s shirt still adorning your body, and walked out of your room and into the hallway, where the smell of coffee hit your nose immediately.
“Morning sleepyhead,” Harry said when you walked into the open plan kitchen and living room. He was sitting at the bar that divided the room in half, a cup of coffee in his hand and a bottle of Pedialyte on the counter next to him. “I’m glad you found the water. I was getting pretty close to waking you up.”
“Thanks for that,” you said, raising the glass to him. You meandered past him into the kitchen, where you grabbed a coffee cup—this one was from a National Park you’d visited the summer before with your family—and filled it with coffee. “How long have you been up?”
“Two hours,” he answered. “I have a hard time sleeping after a big night out.”
“Pedialyte?” You asked, nodding to the bottle on the counter.
He grimaced and set down his cup. “Yeah. I went out and got it while you were asleep.”
Sun was streaming in the white curtains in the living room, casting the whole apartment in a bright mid-day glow. Harry was in just his jeans, no shirt, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he had worn out. “Did you wear that out?”
He glanced down at himself. “Yeah. Stole one of your big sweatshirts, too.”
“Did you now?” You shifted away from the counter, rounding the counter so you stood in front of him. “Which one?”
Green eyes followed your hand as it landed on his knee, moving it away from the other one to create space. When you took a step forward, you could hear his breath hitch and gave him a coy smile, your free hand sliding up his thigh. “Your green one. Said Obsession on it, or something—it was the only one that fit me.”
You chuckled softly. “It’s my ex’s.”
He huffed. “S’mine, now.”
“Is it now?” You asked, setting your cup on the counter next to Harry’s. “Planning on taking over for him?”
“As an ex?”
You shook your head, hands drifting up his torso. “As the guy who gets to wear my clothes.” You tried not to think about what those words meant, what you were asking him, because your mind was too wrapped up in him to even be thinking about your intent.
“Happily.” His hands finally landed on your waist, ring-clad fingers pressing into the skin covered by his shirt. “You know, you look good in this.” Fingers slipped under the material of his shirt, the white Styles on the chest stretching over your breast as you breathed.
“It’s black,” you told him, trying to keep your breathing even. “Everyone would look in it.”
“Hmm,” he hummed, kneading your sides. “Dunno about that.”
Both your hands and Harry’s explored each other’s skin, taking inventory of every rise and fall, roll of skin, the places that made each other gasp just a bit. It felt good, being this intimate with someone just like this, nothing but one another’s hands. “Then what’s so special about me wearing it?”
Palms cupped your breasts, squeezing delicately, his full forearms tucked underneath the fabric of his shirt. “That you’re the one in it,” he murmured, voice dropping an octave. “You, wearing my shirt, my last name on your chest.” He blew out a breath and you tweaked one of his nipples in reply. “Fuck, Y/N, you’re a dream.”
“How about we move this to my bedroom,” you said, slipping your hands up to his shoulders. “And I finally show you my lingerie collection?” You didn’t have to ask him twice. He was standing, your hand in his, and pulling you in the direction of your room immediately, a giggle leaving your lips at the sudden movement. “Somebody’s eager.”
“You’ve been talking about this lingerie for like twelve hours, love,” he said, shutting your door behind you. “I fuckin’ dreamed about it.”
You pulled out of his grasp and he fell down to your bed, where the sheets were twisted from sleep. His messy long hair and shirtless torso drew in your gaze, the way he leaned against your pillows, watching you. “Did you now?” You turned to your dresser and pulled out your top drawer, where your lingerie lived. “Close your eyes,” you told him, peeking back at where he laid.
Once he followed your instructions, grumbling about missing out on half the show, you pulled out your first item—a dark blue babydoll, lace appliqué covering the skirt and a bow nestled between the molded cups, a matching g-string that you slid over your hips. You fluffed your hair, suddenly wishing you had had the forethought to wash your face before you took on this endeavor.
“Open,” you told Harry, and turned in his direction.
“Holy fuck,” he said in one breath, sitting up immediately, as if a jolt of electricity had ripped through his body. “Is this a babydoll?”
“Good memory,” you replied, leaning against your dresser. You didn’t know what to do with your body other than just stand there and let his eyes trail over you. “Thoughts?”
“How would you feel about never wearing clothes again?” He asked, gnawing at his lip. “Just that.”
You blushed, and picked at the hem of it. “I think I might get cold.”
“I’ll give you a jacket.”
“How kind.” You turned around and when he whined, you turned just your head to him. “There’s more sets to show you, you know. Close those eyes, mister.” He did as you asked and you pulled off the lingerie, lovingly folding it back into your dresser. Your fingers ran over the lace in front of you, trying to decide which one of your, admittedly many, sets you wanted to show him next. Finally, you settled on a pink lace set that was essentially see-through. You’d never worn it before—it was one of your newer purchases, one you’d chosen after a successful test grade.
You pulled up the panties and hooked the bra behind your back, sliding the straps up your arms until they settled comfortably on the dip of your shoulders. Then, you turned and at the sight of Harry sitting there, patiently waiting, you decided to reward him a bit. You walked towards him, and when you reached his form, you settled your hands on his shoulders. The touch made his eyes flutter open, and the second he saw your body his eyes widened. “Wow,” was all he could say as he studied the material covering your skin.
“What do you think?” The more his eyes lingered on you, the more you loved how you burned under his gaze.
He licked his lips and reached out, thumbing across the top of the lace thong you wore. “How is this one even better?”
You tilted your head to the side and pressed closer to him, his palms falling down your sides as you stepped between his knees. “You’re the first person to see this one.”
“Really?” He seemed like a kid in a candy store after being told he could buy whatever he wanted. “I’m honored.” You pulled away from his grasp and he groaned, snatching your hips back between his hands. “Where are you going?”
“I’ve got more to show you,” you informed him, pulling his hands off of you. “Patience, Styles.”
“Baby,” he rasped, the pet name falling from his mouth with ease, and you wondered if you would ever forget how it sounded. “I don’t know if I can survive much more.”
Your eyes fell to his pants, where you could see his hard-on, the outline of his dick straining against the tight denim. “Somebody’s desperate.”
“Tease,” he shot back. “I’m serious, though. I’ll let you finish later.”
You considered his proposal, but ended up pulling away. “One more. It’ll be worth it, I promise.”
He groaned, but nodded, shutting his eyes obediently as you moved away from him. At your dresser, you found the set you were looking for, a dark green set. The bra was a balconette cut, lace appliqué covering the cups and running up the straps. You pulled on the suspender belt that matched, the straps dangling down your legs as you put on the thong next. Then, you grabbed a pair of black stockings and clipped them to the bottom of the suspenders. You fluffed your hair a bit and then turned back around.
“Open,” you instructed and when Harry’s eyes opened the moan that left his mouth ran down your spine like fire.
“Fuck.” The word was all he could say, his jaw literally dropping at the sight of you standing there. “Come here.” You didn’t move, though, wanting to hear him beg for you. This set had your confidence soaring through the roof, the combination of the material on your skin and Harry’s gaze making you want to see what you could make him do for you. “Please,” he finally said, shifting towards you.
So you walked over to him, slowly, keeping your shoulders back so the bra strained across your chest. When you reached him you placed a hand on his bare chest, pressing him slightly back so he rested on his hands, eyes staring up at you as you rested a knee on either side of his thighs, sitting down on his lap. “Worth the wait?”
His hands immediately moved, settling on your hips, sliding over the green lace. “You’re going to kill me,” he rasped, words rough in his throat. The sight of his pupils blown out in desire, chest rising and falling under your palm as he took in your body in this set made you grasp the back of his neck and pull his lips towards yours.
The two of you met in a blaze of fire, need flowing between you as he tugged you closer, your center brushing over the denim of his jeans. When you whimpered he suckled on your lip and you pulled at the roots of his hair, needing to hear him groan into your mouth. You wanted to hear every one of his sounds, to take inventory of him and store it away for later when he wasn’t right there in front of you. Lips met and parted, slotting together with ease as you both surged towards one another, begging for more.
His hands were covering every inch of you, pulling and grabbing and scratching at your skin, somehow bringing you closer and closer to him. When you began to rock against his jeans he let out a hiss, pulling your hips down onto his even more. Then his head dipped, nudging up your chin as he found your neck, nibbling and biting at your skin before licking along his marks, leaving you a whining mess in his lap. You were cradling his head, not wanting it to end, just to make him continue and continue and continue.
Now that you had him, you realized how long you had been waiting for this, even if you pretended like you weren’t. You had wanted him since the first time he made a bad joke and told you you looked beautiful, when he responded with a quick remark, countering your sass with plenty of his own. He met you tit for tat, ebbing and flowing with you like waves on a beach.
Your fingers wound around his cross necklace and tugged, just enough to get his lips to leave your skin and look up at you. “Tryin’ to get my attention?” He teased, squeezing at your waist, tight enough that he would probably leave marks but you didn’t mind. In fact, you looked forward to inspecting each inch of your body and seeing what he had left behind.
“Your jeans,” you mumbled. “I want them off.”
He chuckled lightly. “Now who’s the desperate one?”
“Shut up,” you said and he just smiled at you, his dimples poking out.
“Go on, then.” He watched as you slid back on his thighs and popped the button on his jeans, before getting up so you could pull them all the way off. Once they were on the ground, you moved towards him, but he stopped you. “Lay down for me, love,” he said, eyes trailing down your body as you stood in front of him.
You didn’t bother with sass, just falling to the twisted sheets and looking at him as he crawled towards you. His fingers found the clips of your suspenders, and you nodded at him, giving him silent permission to begin to undress you. When he released the stockings and began to pull them down, he kissed every inch of your revealed skin, creating a line down your calf that had your breath coming out in pants. “Harry,” you said, the last syllable of his name trailing off as he did the same thing to your other leg.
“Yes?” He asked, eyes popping up to you. His hair was a mess from your hands and you loved it—the sight of him with wide eyes and puffy dark pink lips, color in his cheeks and marks on his chest from your nails. When you didn’t respond, unable to even create words as he slipped his hands up your body and tugged down the suspender belt that sat at your waist, he said, “You’re going to have to speak up if you’ve got something to say, baby.”
That pet name. It was going to be the death of you and you had no idea why. Maybe because of the emotions swirling in your chest as you looked down at him, the way you wanted to simultaneously lie in his arms for hours and jump his bones, but also just hold his hand and hear him talk to you. Perhaps it was the fact that no one had ever called you that like he did, with desire and passion laced in the word, a tenderness and an edge to it that made you weak in the knees. “I need you,” you finally uttered.
“Do you now,” he responded, leaning forward on his knees so he hovered over you. “Can you be more specific?” Impatient, you grabbed his hand and pressed his fingers to your center, where you had soaked through your thong long ago. A low groan fell from his chest at the feeling of your wetness, and he peeked up at you from where he was touching you. “You’re soaked through,” he said in awe, brushing against your center and making your back arch up. “Fuck, Y/N. Is this for me? Did I get you like this?”
“Yes,” you drawled, pushing down onto his finger. Your mind was spinning, eyes fluttering shut and just losing yourself in the feeling of finally having contact where you needed him most. “Please,” you begged finally, rocking against him with your hips, chasing more.
Harry moved without pause, pulling your underwear down your legs and running his finger between your folds. The feeling of his touch on your warm flesh had you squirming, his name mixed in with curses as he rubbed softly in a circle. “That feel good?” He asked and you could feel his eyes traveling over your body even though your eyes were squeezed shut from the feeling. When he brushed his index finger against your hole which was dripping for him, you gasped, hips jutting down against him so the tip of his finger brushed inside of you. “God, you’re so wet,” he mumbled, almost to himself.
Then, he dipped a finger inside of you and you cried out, desperate and needy for him, unable to contain the sounds falling your lips as he built up a momentum, curling his finger inside of you and hitting your sweet spot. “Another,” you said, eyes finally opening so you could see him.
And the sight didn’t disappoint. His eyes were on your center, watching his finger move in and out of you, and you could see the outline of his bulge in his briefs, a small wet spot where his tip was. The fact that he was leaking while fingering you somehow just added to your pleasure. He added a second finger and pressed them deep inside of you, the cool metal of his rings brushing against your entrance and making you buck up against his fingers. You were squirming on the bed, unable to stay still because he was building an orgasm inside of you like no one else ever had. You could feel your belly tightening and your high was rising, sweat beads forming at the back of your neck.
When he rubbed on your front wall you let out a helpless cry. He had found the spot that made you go insane and you could tell he was happy, a smile stretching across his face. “I’m close,” you panted.
“What do you need?” His words were low and they just made you want him more.
“Your mouth.” The words were broken, but he seemed to understand because he shifted immediately, falling to his stomach between your legs and pulling you towards him. He decided to go harder, because he slammed his fingers into you at a brutal pace and matched it by licking at your nub, sucking and pulling at the sensitive skin. His tongue was sin against your skin, circling your clit and making you cry out. You dug your fingers into his hair and tugged at the strands, his name tumbling from your lips in a beg and a whine and a prayer all in one.
It didn’t take long before you were coming, the feeling rushing up without you even realizing, your back arching and hips bucking against his fingers and mouth. He lapped at you through it, eyes open and watching your orgasm, the shudder that left your mouth and how you fell into the mattress when you came down. When he pulled his fingers from you, you hissed, and he just kissed your pelvic bone, before sitting back on his heels and dipping his fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digits that were covered in your juices.
“Get over here,” you demanded, hooking your foot around his hips and pulling him towards you.
He clamored over you, his lips finding yours once again, and you sighed into the kiss, pulling his mouth closer to you. You needed him like you had never needed anyone else, a feeling that took over your body and ran your mind. When his head dipped and he tugged on your earlobe you whined. “Can I have you,” he asked into your skin. “Please? I waited and I just…fuck, I can’t wait anymore.”
“Yes,” you told him, hands falling to his waist and pushing down his briefs. “Condoms are in my bedside table.”
His head bounced up at that and he reached over, wrenching open the drawer and searching blindly for a packet. When his fingers found one he moved back over you, the foil falling next to your head. Then, he pushed his briefs the rest of the way down his legs, letting the material fall to the floor with the rest of your clothes. Next was your bra, his hands moving to your back and deftly unhooking it, pulling the lace from your skin. “Beautiful,” he hummed, nestling his face between your breasts.
You chuckled, brushing his hair back. “I swear, boys and boobs,” you said.
“Hey,” he replied, picking up his head. “Don’t make me out to be some horny teenager.”
“Aren’t you?” You teased, picking up the condom between your fingers.
“No.” He took the packet and ripped it open with his teeth. “I’m twenty-one, baby.” Then, he rolled the condom down his length and you watched, absorbing his fully naked body for the first time. The cut of the muscles under his skin, the way his tattoos stretched across his torso, the full length of him that you decided you wanted in your mouth after.
He brushed his tip against your slit and you whined unabashedly, rocking towards him. “H,” you mumbled, “please.” That was all he needed, because without another pause he was pressing into you, bottoming out in one go. You let out an unrestrained moan, grappling at his shoulders as he sunk onto his elbows, his face hovering above yours. As he pulled out and pushed back in, a groan from his lips filling the space between you, you watched his face. The way his eyebrows pulled together and he bent his head, resting his forehead against your collarbone as he found his rhythm.
Once he did, it was heaven. His sweaty skin meeting yours as he drove into you at a brutal pace, but one that felt fucking incredible. Your ankles hooked around his hips and held him close inside of you, and you tugged on his necklace to pull his lips to yours, needing the softness of his tongue inside your mouth again. Your hands twisted in his hair, yanking on his strands when he pushed in particularly hard, and he groaned. He liked his hair being pulled, you discovered, and you decided to keep at it, threading your hands through his locks and pulling whenever he hit that spongy spot that made you see stars.
“Like that,” you rasped when he latched his lips to your neck, most definitely leaving a mark on your skin. “Yes, H, just like that. Fuck, you’re so deep.” Your words were a mess, just a stream of consciousness, but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he slammed into you harder and pulled your leg higher, tugging it so that your foot rested over his shoulder and your hamstrings stretched. And when he pushed back in, you scrambled at his back, drawing harsh lines down his skin at the feeling of him reaching a new depth.
“Feel so good,” he mumbled, words broken as they spilled from his lips. “Y/N, god, so good.” His hands fisted in the sheets and you dug your nails into his shoulders when he swiveled his hips slightly, brushing every inch of you. When you squeezed him, his head tipped back, exposing his neck and you leaned up, ignoring the burn in your hamstring, and licked up his throat. He rasped your name as you pulled at the skin at the juncture of his shoulder and neck, making a mark of your own for him to enjoy later.
You fell back down and slipped your leg from its spot on his shoulder, and pulled him close to you, wanting to kiss him again. His lips seemed to be your new obsession, wanting nothing more than to be touching them constantly. He didn’t seem to have a problem with it, slotting your lips between his and kissing you fiercely as he pistoned in and out of you.
There were going to be bruises on your inner thighs, you were sure of it. You would be feeling the impact of his hips on your thighs for days, every time you sat down the muscles would ache and you would remember this—him moving in and out of you and panting in your ear, mumbling about how good you felt around him, how gorgeous you were, how much he loved fucking you. The prospect of feeling him for days was one you looked forward to.
When he gave a particularly deep thrust you moved up on the sheets, grabbing hold of his neck to hold yourself steady, and he moaned. You peeked down at him and as he moved back in, you asked, “Did you like that?”
“Yeah,” he replied, a broken confirmation. “Again, please.”
You’d never really done this before, so you decided to be careful with him, just a bit of pressure using your fingers. With four fingers on one side of his neck and your thumb on the other, halfway down his neck, you pressed down on his skin when he drove back into you and his eyes fluttered shut at the feeling. The heel of your palm rested on the hollow of his neck as your fingers squeezed on either side of his neck, watching in rapture as he fucked into you harder and leaned into your touch. Slowly, you loosened and then tightened your grip, changing it up to make sure he was getting enough air.
“Is that good?” You asked, trying to focus as he drove harshly into you, the sound of his hips slapping your skin filling the room. He bobbed his head and pressed into your palm, so you squeezed your fingers again, wanting to give him what he asked for.
“I’m close,” he said, voice husky.
“Me too,” you answered, kicking your heels higher around his waist and pressing up into him so he reached even deeper inside of you. You could feel that same high building inside of you, an intensity waiting on the brink as he pressed into you, your fingers pressing into his throat again and again.
Then he pulled away slightly, rising up so his arms were fully extended and you couldn’t quite choke him anymore, so your hand fell to his bicep, squeezing at his skin as he somehow moved both faster and deeper inside of you. His hands dug into the sheets and he drove in and out of you at a pace unmatched, your head falling back to the mattress. You were panting, eyes glued to the sight of his necklace swinging back and forth as he moved, the tension in his muscles and the sheen of sweat covering his skin. He was utterly, breathtakingly beautiful.
You couldn’t take it anymore, and reached down between you two, rubbing your fingers over your clit because you were just seconds from the edge and you needed it. Harry’s eyes took in the sight in awe, and his jaw dropped slightly, a curse ripping through his throat as you clenched around him and threw back your head, a deep moan falling through the air. You were squirming underneath him, Harry’s hands having to hold onto your torso to keep you steady as he thrusted into you, finishing himself off as you came, tightening around him. His name left your lips in a beg and he picked up your hand, bringing it back to his throat.  
With a tight squeeze, your fingers wrapped around his throat like before, he bucked into you once more and then was practically growling as he emptied himself into the condom, body shaking against you. You unwrapped your hand from his neck and ran your fingers through his hair, before pulling him down to your chest, wanting him close as he pulled out of you. “Holy shit,” he mumbled into your shoulder, and you laughed softly.
“You ever had someone choke you before?” You asked, brushing your fingers up and down his spine as he settled.
“No,” he said, his lips puckering against your throat, light kisses to your skin. “Kind of liked it, though.”
“Kind of?” You squeezed his butt cheek in jest, and he squeaked against you, making you fully laugh, body rumbling against him. “You literally picked up my hand and put it there.”
He tucked his face deeper into your neck and you could tell he was embarrassed. “Okay fine, I really liked it.”
You hummed and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I did too. It was my first time doing that.”
“Yeah?” He picked up his head and propped it up on his palm, looking at you. “Was it okay?”
Pushing back the hair from his forehead, you nodded. “I thought it was really hot.”
A smile quirked up on his lips. “You mean you think I’m really hot.”
You whacked his shoulder and he feigned pain, jaw dropping slightly. “Stop fishing for compliments.” He rolled his eyes at you, but moved off of your body, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling off the condom, tying the end and tossing it in the trash. Red marks covered his back from your nails and you ran your hand over them, watching as he shivered from the sensitivity. “If anyone sees your back they’re going to think you got fucking mauled by a bear.”
He turned his head and raised his eyebrow at you. “A bear, huh? I thought it was just this really hot girl.”
“Good to know you think I’m hot too.” He laughed and turned fully around, crawling back into bed with you.
The sheets were sweaty but you didn’t mind, you just wanted to be close to him. He laid down on his back and pulled you in, your leg draping over his and your breasts pushing up against his side. Your head rested on his shoulder and you let out a breath, relaxing into his hold.
After you’d been lying there for a few minutes, he cleared his throat and you looked up at him. “You know,” he said, “I don’t know if this was obvious, but I really like you.”
His ring-clad fingers trailed up your back, drawing circles against your skin. You considered his words, rolling them over in your head, and considered your own feelings. Where did you stand? You knew you liked him based on how you felt around him, this just constant desire to have his hands on you. The way you could joke around with him and the banter between you made you feel at ease, a kind of comfort with him that you hadn’t found with anyone else. He was gorgeous and kind and a bit of an idiot, but you found it endearing. You also, admittedly, loved how obsessed he was with you. “I like you too,” you replied, turning your head so you could fully look at him, your chin resting on his chest.
He looked down at you, sliding his forearm under his head. “Yeah?”
“Mhm,” you hummed, kissing the skin nearest to you. “Really like you, even.”
“Well thank god,” he said, pinching your skin slightly. “It would’ve been really awkward if you didn’t.”
“Why is that?”
He smiled at you. “I might’ve introduced myself as your boyfriend to your doorman.”
You rolled your eyes at him and pushed up, moving so you could hover over him fully, hands on either side of his head. “Does this mean I have to go to all of your formals and shit with you?”
“Obviously,” he replied, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. “And my drinks at 260 are going to be free.” You huffed at his request for you to make all his drinks at the bar you worked at to be free, but Harry was having none of it. “Come on, baby, I’ll come to every one of your shifts.”
“Fine,” you answered, sliding your knees up his sides so you could sit squarely over the laurels on his pelvis. “But you have to bring me a snack.”
“Oh,” he said, quirking up his lips in a smirk, “baby I’m a full meal.” You swatted at his chest and he laughed, grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss to your palm, before tugging you back into him. You fell into him with ease, unable to hold up any walls to him anymore. Somehow, he had busted through each one of them and you didn’t want to rebuild them. Having him wrapped up in your heart was perfectly fine with you, you thought to yourself when he kissed the top of your head and asked if you wanted pancakes.
Yeah, you decided, you could get used to this.
fill my inbox with your favorite moments, lines, things you’re having ~feels~ about, or other concepts you’re dreaming up for bartender!y/n!!!!
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utopianvoices · 3 years
Text
past, present, future → b.chan
synopsis: Your best friend drags you to his high school reunion against your will, and never have you encountered such chaos. Alternatively, you go on the journey of making more friends, and a potential lover.
genre: high school acquaintances to lovers au; fluff, one second of angst
pairing: bang chan x reader
word count: 14.4k
warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption, kinda dialogue heavy (oops)
note: i am BACK with this mess of a fic. it took me too long to finish this, and i apologise for any shitty writing :3 thanks to my little babie @curanonemu​ for making sure i finished this and supporting me as usual muAH. new formatting on posts too weeeee (new year, new me fsdhfgs jk no)!! also, synopsis kinda sucks i’m sorry :P hope y’all enjoy! x
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i.
You did not want to go for your high school reunion dinner. 
High school is a time for many that is either the best, or worst time of their lives. Forever friends are found there and painstakingly embarrassing memories are made in run down buildings with people you care about. Except, you didn’t have any such attachments. 
Those three years were nothing but a filler for you as you studied, helped out in the library, and hung out with one person you called your best friend. 
And on top of it all, it wasn’t even a high school reunion dinner meant for you.
The night the bomb is dropped on you, Changbin walks into the living room of the apartment you both share just outside the grounds of your university, and goes straight to the kitchen to fix himself a bowl of cereal because cooking and Changbin did not get along well. The apartment was way cheaper than the dorms your school provided, and it definitely did not have any nosy RAs who were just out there to torture students for their own viewing pleasure.
On top of all that, you could live with your best friend and not some random stranger who might very much as well be a psychotic killer. Perhaps, Changbin could have some questionable habits, like talking to himself in a baby voice while looking in the mirror, but nothing that threatened your life. 
You hear Changbin’s phone ringing from the kitchen as you aimlessly flip through the shows available on Netflix, deciding which new show you should watch and commit to, when your best friend’s boisterous laughter fills your ears. Used to the noise, you roll your eyes before increasing the volume of the TV, finally deciding to rewatch Sherlock.
Fifteen minutes later, you’re about to solve the known mystery together with Benedict Cumberbatch when Changbin walks in front of the TV, automatically eliciting a whine from you as you crane your neck left and right to catch a glimpse of the screen. 
“What the fuck, Bin?” You finally yell, frowning at the boy in front of you. Realising that he probably wanted something, considering the fact that he wasn’t moving till you asked him, you switch the TV off and settle back into the sofa, throwing him a death glare. “What do you want from me, pest?”
Something’s definitely amiss when you see Changbin shuffling his feet and looking at the ground, a guilty smile ever-present on his face. 
“Whatever it is, my answer is no,” you say distantly, leaning back into the sofa with crossed arms. “So give it up.”
“Oh c’mon Y/n! At least hear me out?” Changbin cries out loudly, dropping onto his knees with clasped hands. 
Heaving out a sigh, you slowly unfold your arms and lean forward, eyebrows raised as you nod at the poor boy in front of you. “I’ll hear you out. But don’t expect me to say yes.”
“Um...” Changbin starts, eyes darting around the room as he tries to find the right words. “So my high school friends are having a reunion dinner next week and I told them I’d go, but I also said I’d bring you along and they were too happy and so now I think you’ll have to come with me but-”
“Woah woah woah, a high school reunion party? Absolutely not.” 
It’s not like you had anything against his friends. You did have brief interactions with a few of them in high school and you knew they were pretty decent lads, but there was no way you were following Changbin to what was meant to be a friends’ gathering. 
“But why not!” Changbin whines, waddling over to you on his knees. “It’ll be really fun!”
“Yeah, fun for you,” you deadpan, staring at your pitiful best friend who has now resorted to throwing you puppy eyes. “They’re your friends after all, not mine.”
“That’s right. But they could be. Don’t you think it’s time you start finding more friends who are not me?” 
Changbin’s once pitiful eyes held something other than desperation at that moment; they held concern. 
It was true that you had no other friend other than Changbin. You knew lots of people, sure, but you wouldn’t call them your friends. With no friends to your name other than that one, it also wasn’t hard to guess that you never dated too. But all that mattered is that you were fine with it, right?
“You know that I don’t need any other friends. You’re more than enough for me. Truthfully, I don’t think I could deal with another Changbin in my life.” 
Your words incite chuckles from Changbin, but that doesn’t stray him from his original goal. 
“How about this,” he starts, opting to sit cross-legged on the floor because his knees were starting to hurt way too much. “You come to the reunion with me, and the moment you feel uncomfortable, we both can leave no questions asked. Deal?”
As tempting as that sounded, you knew it was not fair to cut Changbin’s precious time with his friends just because you did not want to hang out with new people. “That’s not fair to you.” 
Shaking his head, Changbin stares at you, the fire in his eyes clearly visible, and you know that he had made up his mind. “I don’t care. It’s either you follow me and we can leave whenever, or I don’t go at all.”
There was no turning back now. You knew that in the end, what Changbin wants, he gets. 
You sigh numbly before nodding your head in defeat, dreading the day that was to come where you had to leave the comfort of your apartment. 
With no warning, you’re engulfed in a tight hug by a nuisance chanting “thank you” a million times. You ease into the hug, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a light squeeze, before pulling back to see that he had a smile similar to the one on your face. 
“I guess you’re right about me needing more friends. I can’t be annoying you for the rest of my life, right?”
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ii.
You’re once again reminded why you don’t go for social gatherings as you take in the various clothes strewn all over your room. 
“Hey- Woah, what happened here?” Changbin asks, bewildered at the sight in front of him. “It looks like a hurricane hit your room or something.”
“Yes, it’s called Hurricane Y/n Is Screwed,” you reply sarcastically, before sinking down into your bed in defeat. Looking up at your best friend, you decide to give it a shot and put on your most pitiful face. “Do I really have to go?” 
“Yes, you really have to go,” Changbin replies without sparing you another glance, as he sifts through the heap of clothes on your bed. “And get that ugly look off your face, please. It makes me want to barf.” 
Flipping your best friend off, you manoeuvre yourself such that you’re facing Changbin, and look upon him in curiosity. 
After what felt like forever, pieces of clothing are thrown at you, along with a reminder that you had three hours before you had to leave. 
“Three?!” You screech, causing Changbin to wince and cover his ears. “You should’ve told me earlier so that I have more time!” 
“What are you so loud for, you damn pterodactyl? And three hours is more than enough. We’re just going to a cheap restaurant a few blocks away because we’re all broke college students.” 
Huffing at your insolent best friend, you grab the clothes he threw at you and make your way to the bathroom, not bothering to contemplate his decision because you knew he had pretty good taste in fashion. In fact, half the clothes you had in your wardrobe were bought with him as your advisor, so you’re really in no position to criticise his choices.
You stare at your reflection and let out a nervous breath; you weren’t used to meeting new people, and there was no way you were going to be able to handle a hoard of newly turned adults. The last thing you wanted was to cut Changbin’s time short with his friends, and as you stare at yourself in the mirror, you make a promise to yourself that you’ll get through the night by whatever means. Even if it meant hours of torture.
Changbin, with absolutely no urgency, is sitting on the couch watching the fourth Harry Potter movie, when you walk into the living room, makeup half done and still dressed in your stay-at-home clothes. Boys, you think.
“I think I need to know who and how many people will be there,” you finalise, watching Changbin pick up the remote and pausing the movie at exactly when Cedric dies; poor chap. “ So that I can, you know, mentally prepare myself.”
“You really don’t, but okay. There’ll be nine of us, including you. Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix from the dance team, Jeongin and Seungmin from the baseball team, Chan from the swimming team, soccer team, and honours board, and Jisung who was pretty much useless like me.” 
“Wow.” 
“In my defense, you’ve seen all of these dudes at least once,” Changbin says, shrugging his shoulders. “Anyway, they’re all really nice and fun so you have nothing to worry about.” 
“Says you,” you mutter under your breath, before returning to your room to prepare for your doom.
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iii.
The sign of the restaurant flickers periodically as you stand in the middle of the street with Changbin by your side. People brush past you as they hurry to meet their friends and families in the various restaurants lining the street, excitement evident in their steps.
Taking a deep breath, you push open the door. Immediately, a gush of warm air welcomes you, causing you to let out a content sigh.
“Hey Changbin!” A loud voice calls out from behind you, and the both of you turn in your place. The sight in front of you gives you equal amounts of anxiety and fear, as you wonder how you were going to handle the table of one, two, three… seven boys, including the embarrassment standing beside you, who was now busy doing some sort of weird wave in favour of a greeting. 
“Changbin, please,” you plead, burying your face in your hands as you willed for someone to transport you back to your apartment so that you didn’t have to face reality and stand next to your shameless friend. 
Chuckling sheepishly, your best friend finally stops, patting your back before walking towards the table at the back of the restaurant. “Oops sorry. Let’s go meet the rest!” 
Here goes nothing.
Reaching the almost-filled table, your eyes dart from face to face, trying to see if you could remember anyone currently seated in front of you. 
“Guys! This is Y/n, my best friend,”—at this, a few complaints erupt from around the table—”Gosh, fine. My other best friend.” 
Immediately, at least three people shout their greetings your way. 
“Hi Y/n! Nice to meet you!”
“Yo~ Changbin’s told us lots about you.”
“Y/n, sit beside me!” 
Exasperated, your eyes flit around the table, trying your best to smile at all of them (which honestly turns out to look more like a pained grimace). Luckily, there was one seemingly sane person present. 
“Shut up, everyone.” A boy with blue hair and sharp eyes shushes everyone. “Hi Y/n, it’s nice to have you here. I’m Jeongin.” 
At this, the once quiet table is back to chaos as complaints are directed towards Jeongin for sneakily introducing himself first. Taking advantage of the mess, Changbin guides you towards the empty seats and finally settles the both of you down. Now all the seats were filled, except for one empty seat left beside you. 
You’re about to ask Chanbgin about the empty chair, but before you can, he claps his hands, attracting everyone’s attention. “Okay, everyone will take turns introducing themselves. Seungmin, you start.”
The sandy haired boy seated on the right of Changbin waves both his hands while bouncing in his seat, reminding you of a puppy. “I’m Seungmin!”
Next is Jeongin, who just gives you a small smile. 
Beside him, you see a blonde haired boy, what is up with the hair colours, who just smiles brightly, eyes shining brightly and freckles visible. “Hello, I’m Felix. It’s great to meet you!” 
Taken aback by the deep voice, which was a total contrast to his cute appearance, you’re unable to hide the shock from your face. This triggers a bout of chuckles from the table; it was probably common for people to display similar reactions when meeting Felix. 
Before pretty boy (that’s what you decided to remember him as) could introduce himself, the black haired boy resembling a squirrel interrupts him. “I’m Jisung!” 
You recognise him as the one who shouted when you and Changbin entered the restaurant, and you’re about to acknowledge him when you’re cut off. 
“Oi Han, it was my turn to introduce myself! Who allowed you to skip the line?” 
“I do what I want,” was Jisung’s response, and pretty boy looked like he was one push away from murder. 
Just as you’re sure that you were about to witness a murder, Changbin chides the two boys and breaks up the petty argument. “Just introduce yourselves without any nonsense, please.” 
“I’m Hyunjin,” pretty boy mutters sulkily, giving Jisung a death stare. “And I can dance better than Jisung.”
“You motherf-”
“And I’m Minho,” the last person introduces himself, successfully cutting off Jisung’s profanity mid-word. “Sorry, don’t mind those two. They’re like Tom and Jerry.” 
Smiling weakly, you muster up the courage to introduce yourself to the four pairs of eyes staring at you. Hyunjin and Jisung were busy having a staredown, while Changbin was eyeing the meat sizzling on the grill. “Hi, I’m Y/n, Changbin’s friend. It’s nice to meet all of you. Thanks for having me here.” 
And just like that, everyone is back to their own conversations, with Changbin piling the perfectly done meat onto his plate. You take in a deep breath and look around the table at the happy faces. 
This isn’t so bad, you thought, a little chaotic, but otherwise entertaining. 
“They’re overwhelming huh?”
Any effort to mask your bewilderment vanishes as you catch the knowing look on Minho’s face. A guilty smile blooms on your face and you nod your head. “Just a little.”
“I get that,” he starts, but soon enough, there’s a content smile on his face that shows his love for his friends. “But at the end of the day, I know that these monkeys will be there for me no matter what, so I guess it makes it all worth it.”
Smiling softly at his words, you almost coo at the light blush dusting Minho’s face as reality catches up to him. 
“Ahem anyway. How’s living with Changbin?” He clears his throat before changing the topic, instinctively putting some meat on your plate before helping himself, earning a grateful smile from you. 
“It’s not too bad,” you start, feeling Changbin’s gaze on you after having overheard Minho’s question. “Except sometimes, he talks to himself in the mirror and it’s pretty scarring.”
“Y/n!” Changbin whines as Minho guffaws beside you, nodding his head to your answer, clearly having witnessed that side of Changbin before. “Wait till Chan comes. At least he’ll support me.” 
At the unfamiliar name, you furrow your brows and the name in the form of a question tumbles out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. “Chan?”
“He’s not here yet,” Minho addresses your confusion, having heard your little slip up. “He had to oversee the training for the upcoming soccer match, being the captain and all, and apparently he had a tutoring session after. He should be here soon though.”
That explains the empty chair beside you. 
“Oh, he needs to get tutored after training?” You ask, feeling bad for the unknown boy. Having to absorb information after physical activities is torture. You couldn’t even focus after 40 minutes of gym. “That’s rough.”
At your assumption, a cat-like smirk spreads across Minho’s face. “Oh no, darling. He tutors after his training.”
There’s no way you’re to be blamed for the first thought that pops into your head after discovering that said Chan was responsible and smart. You’ve seen people struggling with just one extracurricular, and begging teachers for extra credits because of poor time management. 
So, it’s really not your fault that the first words that enter your head is, that’s hot.
Just then, the bell situated above the door rings, indicating that someone was entering the restaurant. You’re not bothered by it, until Felix’s deep voice fills your ear.
“Chan!”
It’s almost comical how slowly you turn towards the sound, blush threatening to fill your cheeks at your first impression of Chan, without even meeting him. And as Giovanni Torriano has once said:
Talk of the Devil, and he's presently at your elbow.
Your eyes follow the figure of the devilishly breathtaking boy walking towards your table. He’s still dressed in what you assume was his soccer jersey, black hair tousled from the wind and practice. Shaking your head, you rid yourself of that inappropriate thought and opt to stare at the bowl of radish that looked the most interesting to you.
“Hey guys!” Chan smiles widely at the group of friends, as a few of them immediately get up from their seats to greet him with their usual bro hug. He sets his things down beside Minho, and is taking his seat when he spots you. Confusion clear in his eyes, he looks around the table, silently asking for an explanation as to what a stranger was doing at their usual table. 
You realise his staring and try to introduce yourself, but you find yourself unable to form sentences as the reality of who Chan was hits you. 
The star swimmer of your high school’s swimming team, and the top student of every single year. He was the epitome of popular. Everyone knew his name, and apparently he had never missed one day of lessons or training. On top of that, he used to regularly tutor in the library.
“Oh, this is my friend Y/n!” Changbin pipes up, slinging an arm around you. “Same high school as us, and my roommate now.”
At this, the confusion clouding Chan’s hazel eyes clears up, and he turns to face you, extending a hand. “The one who used to carry thick books everywhere and helped out in the library right? I’m Chan!” 
Being the complete opposite of your best friend, you’re sure no one has ever noticed you in the library. You blend in perfectly with the shadows and shelves, and you didn’t usually help the students out, opting to arrange the books in the storeroom—the one small thing you could do to help out the aged librarian who brought you mouth-watering brownies every Thursday. 
The thick books, in your defense, was your attempt at trying to finish the Harry Potter series whenever you had the spare time. You never had to explain yourself because you never expected anyone to notice. Especially not the most popular guy in school who had a million other friends.
But there he was, in all his glory, eyes crinkled into crescents as he waits for you to shake his hand, seemingly remembering you when nobody else did.
A small nudge to your side from Changbin breaks you out of your reverie and you grab his hand, silently noting how soft they were. “Nice to meet you.”
Smiling at you, he gently shakes your hand before turning to the other boys, immediately making jokes and laughing along. 
“What was that about?” Changbin whispers harshly, eyeing you and Chan suspiciously.
“What was what?” 
“Chan remembering you! You’ve never even met before.”
Looking at your best friend, you shrug before reaching out for another piece of meat. “Beats me.”
Changbin opens his mouth to interrogate you more, when he’s successfully cut off by Seungmin. 
“Y/n! Tell us more about yourself! I’m bored of hearing about these idiots.” 
Jeers sound from around the table as you let out a nervous chuckle, aware of how everyone’s attention was on you. “Me?” You ask, pointing to yourself for extra confirmation. 
Yea!” Seungmin replies, nodding vigorously. “What are you doing now, and how was high school for you, and just everything!” 
Noting your hesitation, Changbin is about to step in to save you, but your hand on his thigh stops him. Looking at you curiously, he realises from your expression that you’re finally about to do what he had been nagging at you to do since day one of becoming your friend. 
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‘Is it possible for a stomach to burst from too much laughing?’ is what runs through your head as tears stream down your face from laughing uncontrollably at another joke Jisung was saying. 
“Wait, I remember Changbin telling me that people used to refer to you as Baby Photos when you all played at the school shows,” you ask after you had recovered from your laughing fit, curiosity piquing. “What’s that all about?” 
At the mention of the familiar name, the boys let out groans and Hyunjin starts hitting Jisung. “It’s all Jisung’s fault!” 
“Basically, he somehow got ahold of all our baby photos and submitted it to the administration on behalf of us,” Changbin explains, rolling his eyes at the memory. “So if you see our yearbook, all eight of us have our baby photos instead of the actual photo we were supposed to submit.” 
How is that even possible?!
“We still don’t know how he managed to do that.” Chan answers your unasked question, shaking his head fondly at the ridiculous memory. 
At this, Jisung pipes up. “Everything is possible when you’re charming and handsome. You lot won’t be able to relate!” 
And you finally agree that the beating Jisung gets after was well deserved. 
“Restaurant’s closing in ten!” 
The owner of the restaurant, a nice old lady who had a soft spot for the boys, calls out from the back. She had already let all of you stay past her usually closing time, and even gave you some free side dishes, together with a loving chide about how the boys don’t come and visit her anymore. 
The screech of the chairs fill the place as everyone gets up, stomach and heart full from the meal and company. You smile to yourself, glad that you let yourself be convinced to follow Changbin because you had one of the best days in your life. 
“Did you have fun today?” Your best friend asks with a smug smile, already knowing the answer.
“Shut up,” is all you can say—a clear sign that you were admitting defeat. “It was okay.”
“That wounds me,” someone speaks up from behind you, having heard your conversation with Changbin. You whip around to see Chan clutching his heart and wearing an exaggerated hurt face. “I thought we had a connection.” 
“I-you, no, that’s not-what” you splutter, horrified at the thought of Changbin’s, and now apparently your, friends thinking that you didn’t have a good time with them. There was no way you could let them think as such when they had made you feel so comfortable, and have so much fun. 
Your stuttering and horrified expression does it, and Chan bursts into laughter. “I’m so sorry, it was a joke. But your face!” 
The guilt and regret is replaced with relief and irritation, and you smack his arm out of habit, something you always did to Changbin when he was being a pain in the ass. But as soon as you do it, you’re once again filled with regret because Oh my God it’s only been two hours, you’re not supposed to just smack people.
“Stop overthinking it, idiot,” Chan cuts you off, adding in a low tier insult to make you feel a bit better about your reflexes. “We’re friends now; all of us.” 
Friend to friends. Now that’s an upgrade.
You’re about to say something, when you’re cut off by Changbin screeching unceremoniously as he glances at the time displayed on his lockscreen (it’s a picture of the two of you making ugly faces—he refused to change it).
“Shit, we’re going to miss the last bus that leaves from here!” He almost shouts, grabbing his and your things. “Adios bitchachos!”
A snicker or two echoes through the empty restaurant at Changbin’s farewell, together with requests of bringing you the next time they meet.
“Make sure Y/n comes for the next dinner! Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not!”
Jisung earns himself a string of vulgarities from Changbin for that, as he guffaws and hi-fives Hyunjin. 
You’re barely able to say your farewell to the boys with Changbin dragging you out of the restaurant, but you manage to shout out a few words while waving. “Thank you for today! See you soon!” 
The bus arrives just as you reach the bus stop, and Changbin all but collapses on one of the empty seats from the running you both did. 
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
“You’re foul.” You’re staring at your best friend in disgust when he starts questioning you about the dinner, nausea forgotten. 
“So…” he starts, pivoting in his seat to face you, cheek leaning against his hand which rested on the seat in front of him. “For someone who was dead set on not coming, you sure looked like you had lots of fun.” 
Rolling your eyes at his words, you turn to face Changbin. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Me making more friends?”
“Of course, of course~” he drawls, smirk ever-present on his face. “And who do we have to thank for that?” 
“And you ask me why I don’t listen to you or ask you for favours.” Turning your attention back to your phone, you open up Temple Run in hopes of keeping yourself occupied for the bus ride back; but Changbin had other plans. 
Whining, he snatches your phone from your hands and slips it into his pocket. “Y/n! Tell me everything!”
“What do you want to know?!” you ask, exasperated. “You were there literally the whole time.” 
“Yes I know, but I want to know what you think of all my friends!” Changbin claps his hands in excitement, leaning forward in anticipation. “Well, our friends now.” 
You can’t help but sigh as you prepare for the long bus ride ahead—but somehow, you don’t miss the sudden warmth enveloping you as you recalled the past few hours. 
“First of all, Jisung and Hyunjin are hilarious, it’s like…”
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Two weeks later, and you’re knee deep in shit. Not literally, of course, but you might as well be. 
It’s the infamous hell month in your university, where every student (regardless of major) has a shit ton of assignments and tests to complete, and the library is open 24 hours for poor souls like yourself. 
It’s two in the morning when you’re working on your second essay of the day. There are crumpled balls of paper all over your desk and surrounding your bin, courtesy of your pathetic aim. 
“You’re cleaning everything up later,” Changbin speaks up from across the dining table you both were sharing to get work done, tapping away on his equipment as he works on some new beat. “I don’t expect every ball to go in, but to miss everything? That’s some serious talent.”
“Shut your mouth, Seo.” Flipping your best friend off, you finally push yourself away from the table, stretching a bit before making your way to the kitchen to fix yourself a bowl of ramen in hopes of satiating the beast growling in your stomach.
As you open each shelf, you slowly come to the realisation that you were completely out of snacks and food. Even the single frozen bag of peas and empty ice cream tub stares back at you in pity as you scan the fridge. 
Taking a breath to calm yourself, you slowly turn around to face your unsuspecting, so-called, best friend. Walking towards him, you knock the table a few times to get his attention.
He notices your presence, and removes his headphones to look at you quizzically, his full attention on your blank face.
“When were you going to tell me that you had consumed every single food item we have?”
It’s almost comical how quickly the blood drains from his face, as his eyes dart all around the room, skillfully avoiding you. If it were any other situation, you would’ve definitely laughed while falling onto the floor. But this wasn’t any other situation.
This was war.
And honestly, it would have been a war that you would’ve definitely won—if not for the loud sound your stomach just produced.
Narrowing your eyes at the accused seated a few feet away from you, you walk over to the countertop with your wallet, eyes not leaving Changbin for a second.
“I will deal with you when I am back from the convenience store.”
And with the sight of Changbin gulping imprinted in your mind, you slam your apartment door behind you and make your way grumpily to the 24-hour convenience store located seven minutes away.
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The electronic chime sounds throughout the store as the part-timer throws you a friendly greeting from the counter. “Welcome!” 
Reciprocating with a smile of your own, you take slow steps towards the shelf with the various assorted packets of ramen, and your hand automatically reaches for your favourite one. Just as it comes into contact with the plastic, you can feel yourself salivating and your stomach growls in appreciation. It’s a myth, you think. There’s no way food like carrots and asparagus is what gets students through school. The only saving grace you have during this period is packets of ramen and chocolate milk. Countless numbers of assignments and tests are already torturous enough; healthy, tasteless food on top of that? No, thanks. 
Clutching the ramen packet in your hands like it was the treasure of your life, you walk towards the milk section to complete your meal with your favourite carton of chocolate milk. There was something about the combination of milk that combats the spice from the ramen, and you’re about to drop onto your knees right there and then to worship the people who invented ramen and chocolate milk, when you see the last carton being taken away right in front of your eyes. 
Without any second thoughts, you rush towards the person and grab their arm, already getting ready to pull out the sob story of how you absolutely need the chocolate milk to survive. Surprised by the sudden contact, the man holding the carton whips his head towards you, eyes wide. 
There’s a fleeting sense of familiarity that passes through you when you see the hazel peeking out from above the mask that covered the rest of his face, but you’re too preoccupied to dwell on the thought. Just as you’re about to open your mouth to beg, you’re cut off by an all too familiar voice. 
“Y/n?”
Huh?
You stare at each other for a few seconds before the realisation of who you were holding, no, clinging onto dawns on you. 
“C-Chan?”
In a lively city that thrived at night, there were a thousand other 24-hour convenience stores scattered all around in every corner. It also wasn’t everyday that you decided to go to the convenience store for food, opting to go to the grocery stores instead. So, if you calculated correctly, the chance of you bumping into Chan at 2:30 a.m. at that very particular store should be close to never.
Yet, there he was standing right in front of you, chocolate milk clutched in one hand. 
“What are you doing here?” 
“Oh I came here to water my plants.” 
Plants? 
You’re more than confused, till you hear the soft snicker that escapes his mouth. Narrowing your eyes at his antics, you decide to bite back with a “Ha ha, very funny.”
“So… Are you planning to hold onto me forever?” Chan teases you, eyes gesturing to your hand that was still clutching onto him, before looking back at you with a twinkle in his brown eyes. “Because I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” 
With the whole bumping-into-Chan thing that happened, it had completely slipped your mind that you were still holding onto him. You snatch your hand away in horror, eyes widening as you feel the heat creep up your neck. “S-sorry.” And before you could stop yourself, you also continue to spill why you had grabbed his arm in the first place. “I was just craving for chocolate milk, and the one you took was the last carton left.” 
Looking back and forth at you and the carton, you start to feel like an absolute idiot, until he reaches out and pushes the carton into your hands. “You can have it then,” he says, and walks away. “Stay right there, let me grab some ramen and we can have supper together!” 
You stare at the carton for a few seconds, the droplets of water that formed on the outside cool against your fingers. On a normal day, you would have refused the milk vehemently, telling the other person not to worry and to have the last carton. But today wasn’t any other day.
And Chan wasn’t any other person. 
We’re friends, after all, is what echoes in your mind as you look up at the boy walking towards you, two packets of ramen in his hand and a carton of strawberry milk. Smiling at him, you finally express your gratitude for his kind sacrifice. 
“Thanks for this,” you say, waving the carton in front of him. “I don’t think I would have made it through the night without it.” 
Nodding with a smile, he tears his two packets of ramen open and pours in the hot water that was situated at the back of the store, grabbing yours from you in the process. “What brings you here at this hour? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be craving ramen and chocolate milk in the middle of the night on any other day.”
“You’re right about that,” you reply dejectedly, recalling the big pile of assignments waiting for you back at the apartment. “It’s hell month in school, and I’m drowning in work. On top of that, Changbin exhausted every single food source we have at home!”
Chan does his very best to hold back his laughter at your expression; he knew you were angry, but you looked as threatening as a kitten. And thankfully he succeeds, because he really did not want to be on the receiving end of your wrath. Although, he thinks, you really are not going to be able to do much damage.
“How dare he,” Chan agrees, finally taking a seat beside you, the steam from the ramen warming his face up. “Hey but, if he hadn’t done that we wouldn’t have bumped into each other here.” 
You nod your head in agreement, thinking about how to start a casual conversation, when you are suddenly hit with the realisation that you knew essentially nothing about Chan. You didn’t know what university he went to, what he majored in, and what he was doing in the convenience store that late at night too. 
One question at a time, you decide. 
“What are you doing out this late anyway?” you ask, slurping the noodles and breathing out in relief at the taste of the ramen against your tongue. 
“I come here often,” is what he replies, before taking a sip of his milk. “My uni’s about fifteen minutes from here, and I usually work the best at this time. Being a music production major, there aren’t very strict deadlines, but I’ve still got to get my shit done.” 
Oh. That’s all your questions answered. 
You know the trouble of trying to get questions out, especially for you, who has never really made the effort in going the extra mile in interacting with people. It’s annoying and nerve-wrecking, and probably the biggest reason why you refused making new friends. The whole process was just painful. So, when Chan answers your unasked questions, you feel the hypothetical weight lifting off your shoulder, and you open your mouth to express your gratitude. At least, that’s what you had planned to do. 
“Are you a mind reader?” you blurt out, before immediately clamping your mouth shut and facepalming. “Ugh, sorry. I have a really bad habit of blurting out whatever comes to my mind.” You groan at your inconvenient habit, and Chan pats the top of your hand in hopes of comforting you.
“I just meant to say that I was thinking of asking you those questions and you answered them even before I asked.” Chan looks at you with a smile, intrigued by your personality. You clearly didn’t have any other friends other than Changbin—but you never looked as if you were upset about it. It was also clear that you were content with not interacting with people, but when you did, you were never rude about it and you really did try your best. Never in a million years would he have thought that the student scurrying around the library with tons of books would turn out to be someone like you. 
“At least that means you’re an honest person!” Chan says, beaming at you. “C’mon, learn to look at the brighter side of things.” 
Shrugging your shoulders with a tired smile on your face, you turn back to your ramen, which has now gone soggy due to your little chit-chat with the boy beside you. 
There’s a comfortable silence that hangs between the two of you, until Chan speaks up again. “What’s your major? I realised I never asked.” 
At the mention of school, you pull an automatic stank face before replying. “English Lit with a minor in Philosophy. The worst decision of my life.” 
“And why’s that?”
“I never knew there’d be this much essay writing!” you cry out, throwing your head against the table. The rest of your words come out muffled, but somehow Chan manages to catch it. “I mean, I knew there was going to be lots of essays. But not this much.” 
“In the major’s defense, that’s kind of a dumb move on your part, Y/n.”
“Yes, I know. Please don’t remind me of my idiocy.” You finally sit up, before sadly chewing on your noodles. “At least I have ramen and chocolate milk to keep me going.” 
And as the night went on, both of you continued the conversation back and forth, you learning more about him and him about you. You talk about your assignments, how annoying some of your professors were, and how living with Changbin was. All the times you had to chase him to clean up after himself, or all the times he stayed up with you until ungodly hours just because you had procrastinated too much and was rushing an assignment in the last hour. You also learnt more about Chan; how he was studying music production because that was his dream since he was young, and how he actually roomed with Jisung, who was equally as messy as Changbin. The only difference was that Chan couldn’t be bothered about the mess. 
“Changbin, Jisung, and I actually used to make tracks and post them on Soundcloud,” Chan says, smiling as he recalls the three high schoolers cooped up in his room with the bare minimum equipment that wiped out half their savings. “We even had rapper names.” 
“Ooooo~” you tease, nudging his shoulder as his ears start to turn a bright red. “What was yours?” 
“What’s in the past should stay in the past, Y/n. Let bygones be bygones. No point talking about it now.”
“Awww, c’mon!” You plead, fidgeting in your seat. “Was it something embarrassing like Cheminem, or something?” 
“I can’t help but feel more relaxed when your standards are that low,” Chan says, with some form of relief in his voice. “Uh, mine was CB97.” 
“Don’t tell me…” you mutter, eyes wide as the laughter threatens to escape your lips. “Did you really just use your initials and your birth year? Talk about bare minimum!” 
“Hey! It’s better than Meminen, or Cheminem, or whatever you said earlier.”
Sticking your tongue out at him, you decide to probe further. “What were Jisung’s and Changbin’s?” 
Chan stares at you with wide eyes, your mischievous eyes giving away your evil plans. “No. Changbin will kill me.”
“Don’t be a party pooper! I’ll treat you to ramen next time if you tell me.” You try tempting Chan with food, with no hopes that it would work. But somehow, you see his resolve crumbling, and realise that you just needed one final push. 
“I’ll get you chocolate milk and two packets of ramen.” 
At that point, Chan regrets telling you his habit of eating two packets of ramen with chocolate milk almost every night when he stays up. “You shouldn’t have given me the milk then!” is what you said while chiding him, and he just claimed that “you looked like you needed it more than me” while saying that he really wasn’t picky about the flavour of milk. 
So when you tempt him with his cravings, he has no choice but to give in.
Twenty minutes later, you walk into your shared apartment, a mysterious smile playing on your lips as you drop the keys into the little holder by the door. It was made by yours truly during a random pottery workshop you signed up for. The shape was slightly off, and the colour wasn’t bright or vibrant—but it worked and that’s what mattered. 
At the sound of the keys clinking in the holder, Changbin’s head shoots up to gauge your mood from your expression. Surely you would be at least a little less angry after your little run to the convenience store, he thought. 
But instead of seeing a blank expression, or even an angry one, he sees the smile on your face and his heart drops. Why were you smiling? The fact that you were smiling made him feel a hundred times worse, and he had already started saying his prayers.
“So, Changbin…” you start, leaning against one of the chairs at the dining table. You weren’t even angry about the empty shelves anymore, but you just could not pass on the opportunity of teasing your best friend. “Or should I say, SpearB?”
And you’re more than content with the way his face morphs into that of horror, as he grips the edges of the table. “How did you know?” he asks, his voice strained and barely above a whisper; one would think that the whole world had found out about his darkest secret from the way he was reacting. 
Shrugging playfully, you go back to your seat and sort out the papers scattered around the table, grabbing your laptop to start working on your assignment again with a full and happy stomach. “Who knows~”
“Y/n, tell me,” he starts to whine, making his way to you on his roller chair. “No one knows other than the boys-”
And the realisation of who the culprit was hits him.
“It was Chan, right?” he asks, already reaching for his phone to scold the older boy. “You must have met him when you went to the store—he’s always getting ramen there.” Typing furiously on his phone, he pauses to look up and whine again. “I can’t believe you two gossiped about me! And it was me who made you both become friends. The disrespect!” 
Finally the laughter you had been holding in breaks out and floods the living room, the sound bouncing off the walls. “I can’t believe,” you start, trying to catch your breath as you continue laughing. “SpearB! What do you do? Impale people with your sharp flow and rhyme?”
“Just shut up, please,” Changbin pleads, plugging his ears with his fingers. “La la la, I can’t hear anything you’re saying.” He rolls back to his side of the table and grabs the headphones, shoving it over his head to drown out your laughter. 
Your laugh fest is cut off by your phone vibrating, signalling that you had a new text message. Grabbing it, you tap your phone a few times to open up the messages page. 
chan: can’t believe you outed me to changbin chan: traitor y/n: drama queen y/n: i said nth, he figured it out on his own chan: ఠ_ಠ
Giggling at the emoticon Chan used, you unconsciously lean back in your seat as you search your gallery for an emoticon to reply with, assignments forgotten. 
“Who’re you texting?” Changbin asks, having heard you giggle at your phone. He’s eyeing you suspiciously, and you knew it was better to answer him, because a curious Changbin is a dangerous Changbin, and he’ll probably stomp over and snatch your phone to see who you were texting anyway. “It’s Chan.”
“When did you two exchange numbers?!”
“Earlier, when we met at the convenience store.” 
It was right before the both of you parted ways; when Chan had proposed something that was pretty much impossible to turn down. 
“I had fun today,” he said, one hand stuffed in his pocket while the other swung the plastic bag containing some chocolates to add to his secret sweet stash. “You said you’re having hell month, right? Hit me up whenever you need an emergency ramen run.” And with that, he pushed his phone into your hands, signalling for you to do the same. 
Smiling to yourself, you keyed in your number into the phone clutched in your hand, saving yourself as “Y/n”, and before you could regret your decision, you quickly added a smiley after your name and tossed the phone back to Chan. “Here you go.” 
The cool metal is being pressed into your hands, and before you know it, you’ve said your farewell to Chan and were on your way back home. 
“Look at you socialising out of your own will,” Changbin states proudly, wiping an imaginary tear as he gives you a fatherly (or what he thinks is fatherly) smile. “Albeit, at the expense of my shame, but if it means my little Y/n making more friends then why not!” 
“Please stop, you’re an embarrassment to me, yourself, and literally everyone around us,” you deadpan, clearing your side of the table up. It was time to call it a night, because God knows you’re not going to be able to do anymore work. “Besides, it’s really not that big of a deal. I doubt we’ll continue talking after tonight. It’s probably a one-off thing.”
“Hmmm I wouldn’t be too sure,” Changbin muses. “I feel like there’s something that’ll come out of this.”
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vii. 
Seo Changbin isn’t a lot of things. 
He isn’t tidy, opting to throw his clothes all around his room instead of folding it; he isn’t patient, always screaming at you to “Hurry your ass!” when he had been waiting barely three minutes; and last but not least, he definitely isn’t punctual. “Changbin is my name, and being late is my game” is something you’ve heard way too often from him that it was a wonder you hadn’t murdered him yet.
Changbin isn’t a lot of things—but what he somehow is, is intuitive when it comes to you.
So when you find yourself back at the convenience store at 12:30 a.m., ramen and chocolate milk in front of you as you laugh over some stupid story Chan was saying, you can’t help but curse at how right your best friend was. 
You were reaching the end of your hell month, which also indicated it being four weeks since you and Chan had developed the routine of pigging out at the convenience store at terrible hours. 
“... and he just fell off the tree!” Chan concludes his story of how Hyunjin fell off a tree in high school, words coming out breathless due to how much the both of you were laughing. “Ah, that brings back memories.”
“I can’t believe I never talked to you guys more then,” you say, shaking your head slightly. “It would’ve been hilarious.”
“Someone was too busy with Voldemort,” Chan teases, pushing his nose down flat in what you could only describe as a Voldemort impression. Laughing, you swat his hand away while rolling your eyes at the boy you’ve grown so fond of in a span of four weeks. “Why’d you never talk to us?” 
Thinking back to high school, you ask yourself. Why didn’t you ever bother talking to them?
“I guess it’s just cause I already had Changbin,” you start, pausing to think back to the past few years. “As much as I complain about him, he’s really one of the greatest best friends anyone could ask for.”
It was true; Changbin was there for you during high school like no one else had been, and for that you were eternally grateful for him.
“So you were scared to take any other chances since you already got the best?” 
People always asked you why you didn’t make more friends in high school. Hell, even your mother kept asking, when other parents struggled to keep their children at home just because they were spending too much time out with friends. But the answer to that question was something you never thought about, and you can’t stop the feeling of shock spreading through your body at what the boy in front of you had just so casually uttered. 
You were scared.
“I-I…” you stutter, eyes wide as you stare at the boy in front of you. Chan can’t help the worry that seeps into his face at his words, and he’s starting to wonder if he said anything wrong. “I’ve never ever thought about it. But, oh my God, that makes so much sense.” 
After years of waving everyone who asked you why you never made any other friends away just because you yourself didn’t have the answer to the question, you’re hit with a huge realisation of just why you didn’t want to find more friends. And it wasn’t even you who figured it out. 
This boy sitting leisurely in front of you, skin pale and soft, with messy black hair framing his face that he never bothered brushing away. This boy, who was as kind as he was hardworking, always willing to help out anyone, even with his own responsibilities. This boy who had been readily there for you at the devil hours for almost every day in the past four weeks, always checking up on you to make sure that you were surviving.
Never in a million years would you have expected someone to figure out something that was locked away so deep inside of your heart, and for it to be Chan, out of everyone. The thought makes your heart race a little, but you decide to blame it on the conversation the both of you were having. It was definitely not because of the boy seated beside you.
“Shocking, huh,” Chan starts, laughing slightly as the worry he had felt earlier replaced with something he could only describe as fondness. “It’s a pity though.” 
You look at him questioningly, and what he says next makes you realise a few things that maybe you were better off not realising. 
“We would’ve been much happier in high school with you there. I would’ve been much happier.” 
As much as you regretted not befriending the other seven boys in high school, you were starting to regret bumping into Chan that very first night even more. If you hadn’t bumped into him, you would’ve never spent so much time with him, never realised how great of a person he was, and lastly, you would’ve never started falling for Bang Chan.
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viii.
It’s like déjà vu.
With your exams and assignments completed, you find yourself watching the latest season of Haikyuu when Changbin enters the room, waltzing towards your reclined figure. 
“Y/n~” Changbin starts, poking your shoulder to get your attention. “Whatever your annoying ass needs now, it’s a no,” you say without even turning to look at the boy beside you.
“Oh? Even if it was an invitation to dinner with the boys later tonight?” 
And when your head whips to the side to look at your best friend, you’re so tempted to just wipe that smirk clean off his face, because the bitch knew you would have said yes.
“I fucking hate you,” is what you can mutter, before switching the television and throwing the remote to the side, choosing to ignore Changbin as you walk towards your room to pick an outfit. But you’re forced to stop in your tracks when Changbin casually utters the next few words.
“Chan’s especially excited to see you.”
You’re not sure what Changbin means by that, but there’s no denying the increase in your heart rate at the mention of the dimpled boy. 
“What?” You try your best to sound as nonchalant as you could, hoping that your best friend wouldn’t pick up the slight quiver in your voice. But, of course, he wasn’t your best friend for nothing. 
“I said, your little boyfriend’s excited to see you.” Changbin smirks at your expression, stretching his legs out to rest it on the coffee table in front of your sofa. “And it looks like you’re just as excited.” 
Red travels up your neck and spreads across your face, as you sputter at your best friend’s preposterous words. “W-what are you- I- Huh-”
Realising that your little breakdown wasn’t helping your case at all, you take a deep breath to calm yourself, before speaking to the insolent brat in front of you. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“But you like him, don’t you?”
You freeze like a deer caught in headlights, and the first instinct you have is to play dumb. “O-of course I like him. He’s my friend.”
“I will pretend like I did not hear that pathetic attempt of you trying to act dumb,” Changbin states robotically, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, Y/n. It’s obvious. So stop pretending and just fess up. It’ll be easier for the both of us.” 
You had two choices now: Either fess up and prepare yourself for at least a thousand years of teasing, or just completely deny it till your deathbed. 
Clearly, the second option was much more appealing. 
“No, Changbin,” you snap with as much conviction as you could. “I do not have a crush on Chan. He’s just a really good friend.”
The knowing look on his face wavers, and you know that you’re seconds away from success. It’s not that you did not trust your best friend with the information of you having a crush on one of his friends. You just did not want to say it out loud—saying it out loud would mean that you were confirming it, and there will be no going back. And that scared you. 
You were scared of liking someone who was way too perfect, and who probably would never like you back. 
So the best solution was to keep your little crush hidden away in the depths of your heart, and slowly get over it as soon as you could. It was as easy as it could get.
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ix.
Apparently, you realise, it wasn’t at all easy to get over a simple crush. 
The smell of meat fills your nostrils as the eight boys chatter loudly over the sound of the sizzling of the food. You’re back at the same restaurant, with the same boys, except it wasn’t exactly the same as the last time. 
This time, you had a raging crush on the boy who insisted on sitting beside you, leg brushing against yours every few seconds as he piles the food on your plate instead of his. 
It definitely didn’t help that every time your hands brushed while reaching out for the side dishes around the table, you pulled your hand back as if you had just been burned, ears immediately heating up. 
“Did you know Chan told Y/n about 3RACHA?” Changbin whines to Jisung, making him stop his actions mid-way, meat hanging from the chopsticks just a few inches away from his mouth. “All I heard the past few weeks was ‘SpearB, help me’, ‘SpearB, go there’. It was torture.”
The table goes silent at the new information Changbin had revealed, and all you can do is smile sheepishly as your friends stare at the both of you. 
“These two have been meeting almost everyday the past few weeks to get ramen at weird timings, and I’m pretty sure Y/n has lots of quality dirt on us now,” Changbin says pointedly, completely ignoring the way your eyes widened because why would he just say that?
It already wasn’t easy keeping Changbin in check with his little fantasies every time you went out to meet Chan, and now it was going to be worse because you just knew that the six other boys were going to question you from their expressions. 
You turn to look at Chan, expecting to see the same ‘busted’ expression on his face, but all you see is a guilty smile, before he opens his mouth to speak. “In my defense, I was bribed.” 
“Yes but, you never told us your 3RACHA names even after we kept begging you for weeks,” Hyunjin speaks up, eyes wide in disbelief. “We had to bribe you with a new game for your console, but you just told Y/n after two packets of ramen and chocolate milk?” 
Your heart rate picks up speed just a fraction after hearing Hyunjin’s words, and you can’t help but feel a little special that Chan was comfortable enough to tell you things he refused to tell others. There’s a small smile playing at your lips as you look at the boy beside you, who was now rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he tried his best to defend himself from the accusations that were now pouring out from all his friends. 
Unbeknownst to you, your own best friend was watching the both of you since the night started, a glint in his eye as he catches the way you threw small glances at his friend, blushing every time your hands brushed or when Chan purposely picked out the meat that was grilled best to put on your plate. 
He also didn’t miss the soft smile playing at Chan’s lips every time you laughed at another stupid joke Jisung cracked, head thrown back slightly as you clutched your stomach, or the way his eyes widened every time you leaned a little too close to him to reach for a side dish. 
Fools, is what he thinks when he eyes his two best friends. Fools in love.
The night goes on, and it’s Changbin who proposes a game of who can finish a bottle of soju the fastest to make things more exciting. You already know how it was going to end when you see the soju bottles crowding the table, all screaming the obvious outcome of the night.
“Rule’s simple. We’ll have two people against each other, and the one that loses has to pay their opponent’s share for tonight’s dinner.” 
You notice Changbin avoiding your eyes as he speaks and distributes the bottle, which could be attributed to the very scary death glare you were throwing right at him. 
Here’s the thing—your alcohol tolerance was shit. And Changbin knew that, making you wonder what he had planned up his sleeve.
“Right, here’s the lineup,” he announces, making it seem as if the lot of you were in some world championship of sorts. “Hyunjin and Jisung”—there’s a loud ‘Die, bitch!’ that resounds from Jisung as they both get ready to win against each other—“Seungmin and Felix, Minho and Jeongin, and Chan and Y/n!” 
You were going to kill that idiot. 
Changbin starts off the game with a recap of the rules, and makes sure that everyone has their own bottle of alcohol. Disaster is the only word flashing in your mind, and you’re on the verge of ditching your friends to return to the comfort of your room. 
“Jisung and Hyunjin first!” Changbin instructs, to which the two boys grab their bottles and have a stare-down with each other. 
“I’m gonna win so hard, your ancestors are gonna feel it.”
“Let’s see you try, pretty boy.” 
On Changbin’s cue, the two boys start gulping down the alcohol, and you visibly cringe at the ghost feeling of the taste on your tongue. 
“Are you okay?” Chan whispers from beside you, eyebrows furrowed. “It’s a stupid game. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” 
There’s a grateful smile on your face as you shake your head, letting the boy know you were okay. “I’m fine. Just worried because my alcohol tolerance isn’t that good, and I don’t want to inconvenience all of you.”
“I promise I’ll take care of you,” Chan mutters softly, staring right into your eyes. The smile slowly drops from your face as your heartbeat echoes in your ears at his words and the way he was looking at you. You so badly wanted to look away, not being used to such eye contact, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at you that makes it almost impossible for you to tear your gaze away from his twinkling eyes. 
The sound of a bottle being slammed onto the table snaps you out of your little moment with Chan, and you immediately turn away to look at what was happening at the table, taking deep, cleansing breaths to calm yourself. 
On the other side of the table, you realise that Hyunjin was the one who finished his bottle first, now having the time of his life teasing Jisung, who had about one quarter of the bottle left. 
All the boys, except Chan and Felix, were laughing their asses off—Felix was the only one comforting Jisung, while Chan was staring at the table, an unreadable expression on his face.
“There, there. It’s okay, Sung,” Felix coos, patting Jisung’s hair, as the latter sulks at his loss. 
The next two rounds proceed quickly, with Seungmin and Jeongin emerging as the winners. Everyone stares shell shocked, as Jeongin gulps down the liquid with vigour and speed, and slams his bottle down onto the table with a grin.
“There’s no way! I can’t believe Minho lost to a baby!”
“Just because he’s the youngest doesn’t mean he’s a baby, Changbin.” Seungmin deadpans, swiftly moving the empty bottles to the side of the table. “And how come you’re not participating?”
“Someone needs to bring Y/n back,” Changbin shrugs, passing the bottles to Chan and you with a guilty smile in return to your scowl. “And I’d rather stay sober when taking care of drunk children.”
You turn to pass the bottle to Chan, quickly avoiding his gaze when he looks at you. You’re not confident in your abilities to keep the blush down if he was going to look at you the way he did before. 
“Okay,” Changbin cues, making sure both of you were ready with the bottle caps off. “Ready, set… Go!”
You didn’t mind paying for Chan’s share for dinner, you really didn’t. But if there was something about you that was both your downfall and pride, it was your competitiveness. You were competitive to the point where you tended to disregard the consequences of your actions. 
So, your brain doesn’t register the painful consequences of your actions as you gulp down the bottle of alcohol like your life depended on it. You weren’t the best drinker out there, but you were going to try your very damn best because it was a competition. 
With no expectation of winning, you swallow the last drop of soju and slam the bottle back onto the table, when you realise that everyone was staring at the two of you with their mouths open—specifically at Chan.
Following their gaze, your eyes widen in surprise as you see the boy holding an almost half-full bottle of soju, clearly indicating that you were the winner of your little game. 
It’s like a dam breaks, and suddenly everyone’s shouting at the unexpected outcome. Hyunjin and  Jisung scream while looking back and forth the bottle and Chan, while Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin sit with wide eyes and open mouths, unable to process that Chan just lost to you.
On the other hand, Changbin watches Chan with a smirk, which slowly drops when he realises that Minho, who was sitting beside him, was staring at him with raised eyebrows, clearly asking the question ‘What the fuck just happened?’.
Just as he’s about to pull Changbin to the side to question him, you shoot up from your seat, stumbling around almost immediately because of the sudden bout of dizziness that hit you. You fall back onto your seat as fast you had gotten up, and Chan wraps an arm around you almost instinctively, making sure you didn’t fall off your seat. 
The table is back to having their own conversations a few minutes later, as if they weren't just screaming over your victory, with Hyunjin and Jisung having a rock-paper-scissors tournament between themselves, proposed by Jisung who was still sore about losing to Hyunjin.
Alcohol clouds your mind as your head lols back and forth, with soft giggles spilling from your lips. In your drunken state, you register the arm wrapped around you, and you turn your head to look for the owner of said arm. 
Chan looks at you with the fondest smile as he tries to hold back his own chuckles at how cute your giggles were, at the same time being extremely conscious of the way you fit perfectly around his arms. He thanks his lucky stars that you were drunk as he held you, assuring him that there was no way you were going to hear how fast his heart was beating. 
“Oh?” you drawl, squinting at the boy beside you. “Who might you be?” 
And at that very moment, Chan hopes with all his heart that there is no one else who will get to witness what he was seeing right in front of him. 
There are strands of hair covering your face, cheeks red from the alcohol (and from the close proximity to him, but he doesn’t need to know that) and eyes drooping from the oncoming sleepiness. Yet, to him, you were still the most beautiful in that moment. 
“I’m Chan,” he replies sweetly, hesitating for a moment before adding more to the sentence. “Your friend.”
An exaggerated gasp escapes you as your eyes widen comically. Words tumble from your mouth, with hiccups disrupting your sentences every now and then. “Chan? Bang Chan? From high school? The really, um-" hiccup "-cute boy who tutored in the library? The super popular dude? You’re my-" hiccup "friend?”
There’s a light pink flush dusting his cheeks at your words, but he laughs nonetheless while nodding, finger reaching out to tap your nose. “Yes, I am.” 
Scrunching your nose at the contact, you continue giggling when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupts the little exchange you and Chan were having. Chan turns to face his friends, and immediately starts coughing when he realises that they had been watching the whole scene with amused expressions. He awkwardly retracts his arm from around your waist, only for you to get up and stumble over to where Changbin was sitting, arms reaching out towards him while making grabby hands. “Changbinnnn~”
You plop yourself onto his lap, arms encircling his neck as you pull his ear closer to your mouth. Used to your drunk antics, he concedes, knowing that he’ll end up with more damage if he didn’t listen to you when you were drunk. 
When he is close enough, you cup your hands around your mouth and whisper into his ears. At least, you thought you were whispering. 
“You have really cute friends, Changbin.”
The whole table erupts into cheers at your words, and you immediately cover your mouth with a horrified expression. “Did everyone hear that?”
“You weren’t very quiet, darling,” Changbin snorts, pulling you up with him as he stands. “How are all of you getting back?” 
“We’re all crashing at Felix’s place,” Seungmin speaks up, tapping away on his phone. “The uber’s about to arrive… right now.” 
Grabbing their things, everyone except Minho, Chan, Changbin, and you, make their way out of the restaurant, shouting out hurried farewells and promises of ‘I’ll wire the money to you when I get back!’ to Changbin. 
“Okay, Minho and I will go settle the bill,” Changbin says, readjusting his grip on you. “Chan, can you look after Y/n for a bit?”
“Sure,” Chan replies, looping your arm around his neck as his snakes around your waist. “We’ll be out at the front.”
The moment Chan leaves their sight with you by his side, Minho turns to bombard Changbin with all the questions that had been bothering him the whole night.
“What was that?” Minho asks in bewilderment, pointing to the door that Chan and you had exited from. “How on earth did Chan lose that game when he’s the best drinker amongst all of us?!” 
“It’s called being in love,” Changbin scoffs, shaking his head at his two friends. “Disgusting.” 
The distressed look on Minho’s face dissolves, and is replaced by what one could describe as enlightenment. “No fucking way. I was wondering why he kept smiling at them like an idiot. That explains so much! Have they confessed?”
“You think?” Changbin rolls his eyes, knowing that there was no way either of you had the courage to confess first. “The only way either of them will confess is if they are drunk.” 
“But Y/n is dru-” Minho starts in confusion, when he stops mid-sentence, realising what Changbin had just done. “You evil genius.”
“What can I say,” Changbin states proudly, brushing imaginary dirt off his shoulder. “I wonder what’s going on outside,” he mutters under his breath, staring at the door. 
On the other side of the door, Chan finally succeeds in getting you to sit down with him on a curb, his jacket folded neatly under your bottom to make sure that you were not sitting on the hard cement. “I’m tired,” you whine, head dropping onto the warm shoulder beside you. 
Chan tenses up at the sudden contact, staring at the top of your head, when you nuzzle your cheek against his shoulder. At the feeling of your cheek against his shoulder, he relaxes, and positions himself such that you didn’t have to strain your neck. 
There’s a comfortable silence between the both of you, until you decide to break it by asking Chan a very obvious question.
“We’re close friends right?” 
You lift your head from Chan’s shoulder, almost whining out loud at the loss of comfort, but you decide that asking him that question was more important. Clearly, drunk you had very different priorities. 
Chan just nods and replies with a soft “Of course”, wondering why you were suddenly asking that question. “Why?”
“Since we’re close friends, can I tell you a secret?” The last few words are spoken in a hushed whisper, as you reach out and grasp Chan’s soft and warm hands. His larger hands clasps yours, as he chuckles at your question. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Y/n. You’re drunk, and you might regret telling me when you sober up.”
“No!” You almost shout, alarming Chan who looks around to make sure no one heard your exclamation. You continue in a softer tone, to Chan’s relief. “You’re my close friend! So I won’t regret it.” 
And the wide smile you show Chan almost makes him want to kiss you right there and then. Almost. 
“Alright then,” Chan agrees, rubbing circles into the skin on your hand. “Go ahead, tell me your secret.”
Giggling, you use your free hand to beckon him closer, your face moving closer to his at the same time. Just as his ear is close enough to you, you whisper out the words that make his heart stop. 
“I think I like you.” 
He freezes in place, eyes staring at the black tar road ahead of him as his heart hammers against his ribcage because of your nonchalant words. He gulps before slowly turning to face you, the person he had grown to like more than he could ever imagine coming into his view. He takes quick, shallow breaths as he continues to stare at you, unsure of what to say. 
Luckily (or unluckily, for Chan), you decide to continue talking, baring your heart and soul to him. 
“It’s like...” you start, trailing off after your first two words, before finding the right words to continue. “It’s like I was always happy in life, but you made me realise that it was possible for me to be happier when you are there with me.”
And the smile you give Chan, accompanied with the words you had just uttered, makes him want to protect you from the rest of the world. He’s not sure if he loves you, but what he’s sure about is that all he wants to do is hug you and never let go, to be there for you every minute, every second. And he thinks that’s enough. 
That’s enough reason to hold onto you and never let go.
Opening his mouth, Chan is about to reply to your drunk confession, when the sound of soft snores fill his ears. 
Leaning against the light pole that was situated very conveniently behind you, you had fallen asleep in the split second Chan had taken to make his move. Your chest rises and falls with every breath you take, and Chan can’t help but breath out a laugh at your timing. 
There’s always tomorrow, he thinks.
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x.
There’s white noise playing in your ear as you stare up at your ceiling.
Changbin is seated at the edge of your bed saying something important, you assume. You aren’t listening; your brain cells have decided to go on a strike and replay the scene from yesterday on loop. 
I think I like you.
You want to scream. You want to scream and murder the boy sitting beside you so bad. After all, it was his fault that you ingested that goddamn devil liquid that made you spill more than your guts. 
It was a wonder that you were able to find a friend as precious as Chan, and there you lay in despair, all thoughts of facing Chan again slowly slipping away from your fingertips. There was absolutely no way you were going to be able to see him after the stunt you pulled yesterday. 
“Y/n, are you listening?!”
“No.” 
A hand wraps around your arm and you feel yourself being pulled up, coming face-to-face with your distressed best friend. “Stop being stubborn. Calm down and listen to what I have to say.”
And that’s when you snap.
“Stubborn!?” you shriek, clutching the ends of your hair. “I just confessed to your friend, Seo Changbin. I was drunk, and I confessed my very large and real crush to the person I am crushing on. I have ruined any chance at friendship with him, so don’t tell me to stop being stubborn and to calm down!”
Taking a deep breath, Changbin pulls you towards him, both his hands resting against your cheeks. “Listen here. Stop being a wuss. Yes, you confessed when you were drunk. Yes, it’s embarrassing as fuck. But get over it. You know Chan. Is he the kind of asshole who drops friendship over small things like rejection?” 
There’s a pout playing at your lips as you shake your head, partly due to the way Changbin was squishing your cheeks, and the other half because you knew he was right. 
“But I still don’t want to face him yet,” you whine, pushing his hands away from your face and diving back into your covers. “I just want to wallow in self pity, and hopefully waste away on this bed so that I’ll never have to face anyone ever again.”
Changbin knows that there was no convincing you otherwise, so he settles for sighing and getting up from your bed. 
“Don’t stay in bed for too long. I’ll order us food for later.”
Muttering something under your breath, you roll over and bury your face into your pillow, sighing as you think about the boy whose smile gave you more warmth than the sun could ever provide.
You’re in the midst of imagining how different today would’ve been if you hadn’t opened your dumb mouth when your phone rings and cuts off your thoughts. Reaching out for it, your mouth runs dry when you see the name displayed on your screen.
“Chan :)”
Your finger presses the decline button and your phone clatters against your bedside table as you decide that you are not ready to talk to Chan yet. And you’re not sure if you’ll ever be ready to talk to him, let alone face him. 
A minute after declining the call, there’s a series of knocks on your door, and you shout out a “Go away!”, not wanting to hear anything related to Chan and how you need to stop being a coward. But as the knocking continues, getting louder as time passes, you start getting annoying and realise you have no choice but to open the door.
“What the fuck do you want, Chang-”
You cut yourself off as you take in the person standing in front of you with wide eyes, looking as handsome as ever even with the furious look painted on his face. 
The silence is thick with tension, and you can’t help but avert your eyes, choosing to look at anything but the boy in front of you. 
“Why are you ignoring me?” Chan asks, voice quiet and flat. “I’ve been calling and texting you all morning.” 
“Um, I-” you start, not knowing how to answer his question. You imagined your day going various ways, but this definitely wasn’t in your plans. “Did Changbin call you?”
“I asked,” he starts, walking towards you. You take a few steps a back, and continue walking backwards until your hands come into contact with your dresser. You were trapped. “Why are you ignoring me, Y/n?”
You blink rapidly, not used to this closed-off version of Chan. The usual warmth and softness in his eyes were missing, and instead all you saw was disappointment and anger. You open your mouth to speak, but it wasn’t easy to get the words out. 
“Was it funny messing with me?” Chan continues, not breaking eye contact with you once. “To just get my hopes up and disappear like it all meant nothing?” 
“W-what?” 
“How was it so easy for you to just start ignoring me?” 
“No I-”
“Is that all I mean to you?” And instead of the disappointment and anger, you see pure, unfiltered hurt, and that was enough for your walls to come crashing down. Tears well up in your eyes as you look at the boy in front of you, and it’s like a dam breaks. 
“I’m sorry.” Sobs wreck your body as you wipe the tears that don’t seem to stop. “I-I’m so fucking sorry, Chan. I was scared.”
“Scared because you just said that in the spur of moment and you don’t actually mean it?”
“No, I was scared because I like you too fucking much!”
There’s a pregnant silence between the two of you, and you continue staring at the floor, vision blur with stubborn tears that refuse to fall. And that’s when you hear it.
A chuckle. 
It’s soft, and you would’ve missed it if not for the pin drop silence in the room. 
You slowly lift your head up to confirm if you actually heard what you heard, or if you were hallucinating, when you see it. 
Chan was smiling. 
“Can’t believe it worked.” 
What on earth did that mean?
“W-what do you mean?” you ask, sniffing softly. 
“This was Changbin’s idea. For the record, I was against it.” Chan’s hands come up to rest on your cheeks, his thumb wiping away the tears on your cheeks as he smiles softly at you. “I mean, of course I was hurt and worried. But I just wanted to come over and talk it over like a normal person.”
His smile widens as one hand continues cupping your face, while the other reaches to tuck the one stray strand of hair behind your ear. “He said you’ll never admit things unless I, uh, scared you a little.
You stare at Chan as the gears work in your head, putting the pieces of information. The moment the last piece clicks in place, you stare in shock at the boy standing in front of you with a sheepish smile.
“What the fuck?!” you yell, equal parts of relief and anger taking over your mind. “I fucking hate you!”
And with that you storm off towards your door, Chan chasing after you with apologies spilling from his mouth. But the both of you knew that you weren’t actually upset, which can be seen by the giggles accompanying every apology.
Just as you’re about to leave your room, you’re pulled back into warm arms, and you fight every urge to melt right into his embrace. His arms wrap around your frame tightly, but gently. You feel his strong heartbeat against your back, and it’s enough to make you shiver, goosebumps erupting all over your skin. 
“Do you hate me?” Chan asks, chin resting on your shoulder as you feel his breath tickle your neck. 
“Yes.”
“Really?” Chan asks in amusement, lips against your ears and voice just above a whisper. “That’s a pity then. Because I like you too fucking much too.” 
He whispers the last part of the sentence, making your knees go weak and your heartbeat pick up its pace as it usually does whenever the boy who stole your heart was involved. 
You turn around in his arms to face him, sighing contentedly at how things ended up turning out.  “I’m really sorry about the ghosting.”
“It’s okay, love,” Chan assures you, the pet name inducing butterflies in your stomach. “I would’ve been embarrassed too, if I had confessed to you when I was drunk.”
“I would’ve loved to see that.” You whine at the unfortunate circumstance of you confessing instead of Chan. “I probably looked like an idiot while confessing.”
“Since I’m your boyfriend, can I tell you a secret?” Chan teases, repeating what you said the night before with a little twist. Smacking his arm lightly for the jab, you nod with a laugh, ignoring the way your face heats up when he refers to himself as your boyfriend.  
“I really wanted to kiss you when you were confessing.” There’s mirth in Chan’s eyes as he gazes at you the same way he did back at the restaurant. The only difference was that you knew he liked you back. And you had never been happier. 
“Go for it.”
And that’s all the confirmation that Chan needs to lean down and press his lips against yours in a feather-light kiss, as your hands rest on his chest, appreciating the strong beat his heart was playing. 
You part a few seconds later, eyes still closed as a smile plays on both your lips, before you’re pulled for another kiss, this one more forceful than the one before. His lips press against yours harder, and his arms pull you closer—as close as you could be. You respond with equal fervor, pouring every emotion you have into the kiss, when you’re interrupted by a loud cough. 
“I would appreciate it if I didn’t have to bleach my eyes every time I see the two of you.”
Oh. 
It completely slipped your mind that Changbin was just a few steps away from your room, and you want to crawl under your bed and befriend the monster there when you see the haughty smile on your best friend’s face. 
“I think a thanks is in order.”
Removing yourself from Chan’s arms, you walk over to Changbin, who smiles wider when he realises you are walking towards him. Opening his arms to welcome you in for a hug, he can’t help but shriek when you start punching him everywhere possible.
“Dude, what is wrong with you?!”
“That’s what you get for coming up with stupid ideas to get me to talk!” you snap at your best friend with words that carry no real bite. “Were you that desperate?”
“Clearly!” Changbin replies, exasperated. “It was getting depressing. He wouldn’t stop calling me because he was worried, and you were being a stubborn bitch!” 
At his words, there’s a tinge of guilt that pinches at you when you realise the trouble you had put your best friend through. 
“Okay, I’m sorry,” you say with a pout, burying your face into Changbin’s shoulder. “And thank you.”
“Yes yes, you’re welcome,” Changbin says with a soft smile. He wouldn’t admit it just yet, but seeing his best friend who meant the world to him end up with someone who just as much deserved nothing but the best made him eternally grateful. “Now go smooch your boyfriend. We don’t want him becoming too jealous of the attention you’re giving me.”
“Oh, shut up,” is what Changbin gets in return, as Chan intertwines his hand with yours. Just as Changbin walks out of sight back to his room, Chan turns to you with the biggest smile.
“Now then, shall we go on a date to celebrate our first day?”
“Absolutely.”
And as you and Chan sit on the beach that evening, surrounded by sand and accompanied by the sound of the waves and the soft breeze with a orange hue enveloping you, you think:
Life had never been sweeter.
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I see you (Din Djarin x GN reader)
Summary: Din is hurting, don’t look at him. No REALLY, DON’T LOOK AT HIM.
Genre: Angst / fluff + hurt / comfort.
Author’s note: This takes place after the events of Chapter 15, therefore SPOILERS if you keep reading!
Of course, I don’t know what will ACTUALLY happens in the rest of the series, but in this version, Din + Reader + Grogu are safe on a spaceship after Those Events Happened in Ch14, and after THAT happened on Moskar in Ch15 (reader was present on Moskar). Din is dealing with some trauma following That Event.
I wrote this in one go in a tired yet enthusiastic frenzy after watching. I didn’t want to spend ages on it... but I hope that it’s coherent and that you like it!
Warnings: nightmares, angst but it turns out okay. Final warning: spoilers for S2 esp. chapter 14 and 15. Meant to be GN but not sure if the Mando’a confuses that. Pls forgive.
GIF: a non-chapter-specific adorable GIF so that I’m not spewing spoilers onto my dash. By @calsblueponcho​
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You hear him stir again. For the third night in a row.
You hear his groans start to build from within the cot opposite you - the sound wrung from his chest and strangled in his throat. You hear him thrashing, limbs and elbows and whatever part of him clunking against the walls of the narrow sleep space, the sounds tinny from within his metal box; like usual.
Metal between you and him.
Finally, you hear the shush of the door as he clambers out of bed, and you hear ragged breaths sawing in and out of him. You hear the weight of his blankets pool on to the floor as he throws them off with a grunt, and his bare feet making contact with the metal floor.
Now, his sounds are not tinny. They are organic. There are no layers of metal between you any longer. Now, only the darkness separates you from him. Only the darkness separates him from the knowledge you hold; that he is afraid.
You hold still. You stay quiet, as Din completes his now nightly ritual - as if the man needed any more rituals. Your heart breaks for him.
Each night now, he awakes in fear, and he throws off his blankets. You have no doubt that if you scooped them from the floor they would be warm and damp with sweat - the whole space is tinged with the odour of roused panic. Each night now, he shuffles hastily towards the foundling’s pram to see for himself that Grogu is safe and here, with him. As usual -you expect- the small child is sleeping soundly, despite what he has been through. Perhaps because of it. He knows now that no matter what happens, his father will keep him safe.
Each night now, as you lie in the dark, pretending to be asleep after his distress has awoken you, Din hovers over your bed for a moment, drawing in a gasp of a breath as if he might speak or plead for help; however, each night it is the same, and no words ever come. Each night he then breaks free of this hot, enclosing space and his suffocating sleep, and you hear his footsteps recede, heading in the direction of the cool, more open cockpit.
This time, though, when he tugs in a breath to speak, you do not pretend to be asleep.This man does not need any more rituals which hurt him, you think. You will help him to break this one.
“Din,” you breathe softly, turning your body towards where he stands, even though you cannot see him. Only because you cannot see him. There is no metal between him now, and you are determined not to look. 
Although he stays silent, you can guess at the tension in him. You can sense his stillness and hear his short, sharp breaths. If he was armoured, his pain would be sounding out. Gloves creaking around his balling fists, his clunky boots tapping agitatedly on the floor. Unarmoured, his pain is in stealth mode. Unarmoured, he is entirely more vulnerable to it. You imagine him stripped down -in all ways, unprotected- and your heart breaks for him.
You desperately want to lay your body over him; become his armour.
Din had almost lost it all, and even after what he had gotten back, he had still lost too much to bear.
He had done it all for the child.
It had been worth it.
But that didn’t mean it wasn’t heavy to bear. 
He still doesn’t speak, his pain in stealth mode, and so, you shift and swivel on your cot until you are sitting on the edge of it.
“Din,” you repeat, and your hand somehow finds his in the dark, your eyes deciphering the shifting shadows enough to reach for him, and immediately his fingers close tightly around yours, as if they had been searching for a hand to hold.
His hand is clammy, slick with panic.
“Did you have a nightmare?” You ask, not even venturing your gaze up towards his shrouded face, out of respect.You have nothing but respect for him.
“Yes,” he states, and even with one word his voice cuts through the dark and splits your chest like you have been struck with a spear of beskar. Because of the pain in it, yes. But also because there are no layers between you. No vocoder. No metal. His voice is warm and deep and robust like this, and it splits you apart. “Sorry. If I woke you.”
His fingers grip yours a little more tightly, but before you can return the favour, he quickly snatches his hand away. “Try and go back to sleep.”
“I couldn’t sleep anyway,” you lie. “Would you like some root tea? Maybe we can have a cup and both of us can try again.”
If Din finds you out in this lie he doesn’t let on. You’re a bad liar, and he’s a good judge of truth, so you suppose he can make whatever decision he pleases, this way. But, he merely makes a gruff sound of agreement. “I’ll get my helmet,” he states, and yet you find his hand again and give a gentle tug to stop him.
“It’s okay. Go sit in the cockpit, keep it dark. I’ll make some tea for us, and I won’t look.”
There is a beat, and then he makes another gruff sound of agreement before turning on his heels, efficiently swivelling towards the front of the ship.
You stand, and you take a moment to still the racing of your heart. You take your own gasp of air. You feel the pounding in your chest at this morsel of skin on skin. Your hand in his.
You exhale a long breath, and slowly, quietly, so as not to wake the child, you slip through the darkened ship until you reach the cramped ration store, heating and brewing some tea under a dimmed and hazy cooklight.
You hurry, as all you can think of is Din alone and unprotected, and how much you wish to guard his heart.
When you reach the cockpit, you enter with your eyes down, averted, looking anywhere but at him, and then you enter, a cup of sweet sleep tea in each hand. You can make out his silhouette in your periphery, and, silently, you slot yourself into the co-pilot’s seat beside him, extending the tea for him to take. His fingertips brush yours as he takes it, and you almost jolt and spill the contents.
You calm your breath again, and you allow the darkness to settle around you, a barrier between you and him. The only barrier between you and him, you can’t help but think.
“Thank you,” the Mandalorian states after a moment, his tone dull.
“Don’t thank me until you’ve tasted it,” you warn with a gentle attempt at a smile. “Couldn’t really see what I was doing.”
“No,” Din says, and this time, his hand finds yours in the dark, where it rests on the arm of the co-pilot’s seat.
There goes your heart pounding again.
“I mean... Thank you for looking out for me. And Grogu.”
Oh.
What else would you possibly do?
“Of course, Din, you’re my...” you cut yourself off before you complete the thought. Din is not your family. You’re not his riddur. Grogu is not your child. Even though that’s how it feels. Even though that’s what you want. “You’d do the same for me,” you say, reeling yourself in. That doesn’t sound quite right either, you fluster. To a bounty hunter that must sound transactional. Like he owes you a debt now.
You’re getting it all wrong.
And all you want to do is comfort him. Protect him.
“Din...?” you ask softly, your eyes fixed straight ahead, not looking at him, even though you are desperate to. Even though from the shapes in your periphery, and from the direction of his voice you can tell his head is angled towards you. Even though you feel like he is staring intently at you. Like he sees you, even in the dark.
“Yeah?”
A heat rises in you and you snatch your fingers away from his. Your hand had become clammy. Instead of this heat, you take a sip of your hot tea, both hands wrapped around the ceramic, earthenware vessel.
“You know,” you say, unsure why your voice is shaking. “It might help to talk about it, the nightmare... if you’d like to.”
You hope you haven’t overstepped. Din hasn’t had anyone to open to for a long-time before you, and you know he may not want to- however, he surprises you. 
“I feel selfish,” he states, his words coming to you immediately and freely as if he had been waiting for a kind ear to listen.
“What in the stars..?!” you exclaim, in a shocked whisper, your eyes intent on the night sky through the transparisteel as you summon the stars in your setiment. “You’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met, Din.”
He emits another gruff sound, but this time it is not in agreement.
His pain...
Sweet man.
You are desperate to turn your head towards him in this moment, but you never would. You would not look.
“I keep having this nightmare, as if it’s the worst thing,” Din continues, and you recognise guilt in his tone. “And it’s not about Grogu. It’s not about you and the child and keeping you both safe.”
Your heart thrums again, from the fact he mentions you and the child in the same breath; mentions you alongside his everything.
“What is it about?” you ask gently, your voice barely above a whisper.
Beside you, you hear Din take a long sip of tea, and you don’t rush his words. You have all the time in the world for him. 
“It’s... about my face,” he says solemnly, and even the mere mention of his face has your heart unsure whether it is breaking or racing.
You had known this would take a toll on him. You knew that having to show his face on Morak; to you, to the Imperials, to Mayfield, would haunt him. For a long time. You had tried not to look. You hadn’t looked. And yet, you had still seen him. You had seen him, only for a moment, before you could avert your eyes - hard as it was to look away. 
That moment, though, was long enough to burn the image of him like a brand behind your eyes. His hawkish nose, his brown mop of grizzled hair...
Brown eyes.
Brown eyes as kind as his soul.
He was beautiful, exactly as he was to you already. Exactly as he had been to you before you ever had a hint of what he looked like.
Still, as much as you fell in love with his face the instant you saw it, exactly like you fell in love with his soul the instant you knew it, you wished you could take that moment back. You didn’t want it; not like this. It felt like a violation to even look at him, so can’t imagine how violating it must have felt to be seen.
No wonder he was having nightmares.
Your heart was in pieces for him. How in the stars could he feel he was selfish? It wasn’t as though he needed to prove his love for Grogu, when he had done that to get him back. When he had given everything he held dear.
“I let the kid get taken. I barely got him back alive. You back alive. And I’m dreaming about showing my face. I should be worrying about him. Not myself.”
Only this man could think himself selfish for experiencing a trauma, you could swear.
“It was a trauma, Din,” you state sensitively. “It makes sense that you would have nightmares about it. And... maybe,” you muse. “Do you think it’s possible... you’re not dreaming about the kid because you know he’s safe now? You know he’s back home and we can protect him. But the thing plaguing you... is something that was taken from you. Something you can’t get back?”
You’ve thought about this. You’ve had time to think about every single thing which might have been bothering him and how you might fix it, these past nights. That has become your ritual. To care for him. To notice when he holds Grogu a little tighter, becomes more reluctant to let go of his hand. When he grumbles about the specs of this ship, compared to the Crest. When he waits extra late, until it’s extra dark to remove his helmet these days. When he wakes in the night thrashing and gasping for air.
You can’t change what happened, but you hope you can be there as he heals from it.
Din doesn’t respond rightaway, but he takes a sip of his tea, mulling your words over.
“Do you want to talk more about it?” you ask gently. “About what happened?”
And, Din eventually begins, in a deep, empty rumble, sounding like an engine low on fuel. “They scanned me,” he says, and you can tell from the change in his voice that he has turned away from you - is now looking down at the floor. In your periphery you see his figure hunched over, head hung like a bird.
You want to reach out for him, but you don’t. Not yet.
“It wasn’t only showing my face to them, to you,” he begins, and you have a bitter taste in your mouth not only from his trauma but also from the fact you were any part of it. “They scanned me. My face is in their system. My face is everywhere. In every imperial back-up, all across the galaxy. Not only did I violate the code, but my violation is infinite, eternal. They have my face.” Your face twists in agony on his behalf as he speaks. “You know, I keep waking up, in a panic. Like I did when Grogu was taken... except this time it’s me they stole. They really did steal all of me. I’m not fit to call myself a Mandalorian.”
Tentatively, you do reach out your hand to him now, and you set it on to his shoulder, feeling the subtle heat of his skin through the thin, still damp fabric. You rub small circles there, hoping you can soothe him even a tiny amount. You let his heavy words sink in, before you speak.
“Din, I’m so sorry this happened to you,” you soothe. “I know I can’t fix it. I wish I could. But you should know, that it’s okay to feel this way, and I’m here -and so is Grogu- and we’ll help you however we can.” You suck your lips in between your teeth as he is unresponsive, wondering whether to go on. You decide you must. That he must hear this. “And, Din,” you say, through a watery smile. “I hope it’s not inappropriate to say- you know The Way better than I ever can- but, it seems to me, from what you tell me, that being a Mandalorian isn’t any one thing. It’s strength, and honour, and loyalty. And if it’s those things too, then, Din, you’re the most Mandalorian person I’ve ever met.”
Beneath your hand, your feel Din’s chest stutter and he takes a shaky, volatile breath in and out. You wonder if he is crying.
“Cyar'ika” he says softly, after a few moments. “How do you always make me feel a little better? A little safer?”
Your heart pounds. He called you darling.
“It’s just the tea,” you dismiss, through brimming tears of joy. It is all you want. All you want to protect this sweet man.
“It’s not,” he states painly. “The tea’s awful,” he says, and this time, his hand clamps over yours on his shoulder. His chest shakes again, but this time it is with a gentle, shaky laugh. The kind of throaty, beautiful chuckle which sounds out of him when Grogu plays with the silver ball of the flight control. 
Yes, he settles his hand on top of yours, but, this time, neither of you snatch your hands away. His laugh subsides, until it dissipates into the space between you, warming the room a little.
“There is one more thing I’d like to talk about,” Din says, his voice cracking.
Softly, you invite him to continue with a squeeze of his shoulder.
“You saw me,” he says, gently, and you can tell his gaze has turned back to you, head pointed where he’s looking. You feel his eyes on you.
Brown eyes.
Now that you know what they look like, it is all the harder to avert your gaze.
You did. You saw him.
“I’m sorry,” you state, voice brittle, and your heart breaking, tears tipping from your eyes. “I wish I hadn’t. I wasn’t looking.”
Just like now. You won’t look.
“Yes, I know. But you saw me. You always see me,” he states, his voice warm and revving like an engine suddenly full with fuel. You shake your head softly in confusion, unsure where he is going with this, syllables stuttering out of you. Luckily, Din picks up the slack. “I hoped you would see me for the first time as my riddur, but, now that you have already... what do you think? Is mine a face you could live with?”
Your heart is pounding faster now. It is definitely racing, and no longer breaking.
As his riddur? He meant to marry you? Means to, still? Your brimming tears spill over on to your cheeks.
And, this time, you turn toward each other, even though your gaze is cast down. Not looking. His eyes very much fixed on you- on whatever he can make out in this shadow.
You think that having such kind, brown eyes fall on you is a blessing.
“Din,” you start, your voice full and bowed with emotion. “Yours is a face I loved before I ever saw it. Loved when I saw it. Will love if even if I never see it again, and would love if I looked at nothing else but into your eyes for the rest of my life. Your face is as beautiful as your soul, and I never needed to look at you to see you.”
“Cyar’ika,” he whispers softly, scooping up your hand and bringing it to rest on his cheek.
An impossibly joyous smile splits your face as you feel the texture of his skin and the scruff of his beard against your fingers. Finally. As you feel his own face crease into a smile in return, his cheek appling beneath your touch. You are overwhelmed by the trust he must place in you, to sit with you like this.
“Do you mean it, Din?” you ask, scarcely believing it. “You want to be a family?”
This time, Din’s voice does not come to you from behind metal - behind beskar. It is close. It is unfettered. You feel his warm, sweet breath on your face as his joyful, certain words filter out of him. “We’re already a family. You and me and the kid. I’m never letting anything take you away from me.”
You believe him.
You smooth the pads of your finger over his face and he reaches out to cup your cheek too, feeling the tracks of your tears beneath his touch. With his broad hands, skin-on-skin, Din pulls you into him, and your lips find his immediately, his tongue delving eagerly into you as if he has been waiting for a mouth to kiss.
Din has been waiting for a long time, perhaps. Waiting for you to complete his family - officially. But he’s never had to wait to love you. He already did that, long ago. From the first time he saw you, in fact. You had a face as beautiful as your soul, and he knew you were the one for him. 
You close your eyes, feeling overwhelmed by happiness. You do not look at him; your Mando. You don’t even try to, but you don’t need to look to see him.
Still, you if you get the chance to look again, you think it will be a blessing to gaze into those brown eyes.
Those brown eyes as kind as his soul, and full of love, instead of fear.
919 notes · View notes
flowesona · 3 years
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Wicker Man - yandere! jungkook x reader
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so my child @babeejk​ wanted a y! sugar daddy jungkook, and i live for nothing if not to fulfil her jungkook obsession so here we are. 
word count: 2.1k
pairing: y! jungkook x gn! reader
Most people (Y/N)’s age would spend their Friday night partying, hanging out with friends, trying new things. But (Y/N) was spending the best days of their life entertaining a young, rich CEO who would no doubt dump them for a new pretty face in a few years.
Jungkook was a sweet gentleman. Always made payments on time, and usually never pushed the boundaries. But there were instances where his hands crept a little too far for (Y/N)’s liking, or his grip on (Y/N)’s arm got a little too tight in the presence of his friends.
He was peaceful enough that Friday night, having ordered takeout for the two of them and put on a movie. Clearly, he needed the company of (Y/N) more than their body as most of their previous sugar daddies had coveted.
With (Y/N) placing their plate down onto the coffee table and relaxing into his arms to watch the movie, it was almost like they were dating. Jungkook didn’t dare push this idea often, happy to stick to the simple domesticity they had as if they were already in love and nothing needed to be said.
He pressed a kiss on the back of (Y/N)’s neck, enjoying the fleeting feeling of his lips on their skin. 
“You seem tired, baby. Want to go to bed?” The film was reaching its climax, but (Y/N)’s eyes were barely able to stay open.
“Mmmmm.” They replied, not protesting as he lifted them like a bride and carried them into his room to rest on his king sized bed.
(Y/N) had allowed a gentle smile to settle on their lips, their eyes having drifted closed. Jungkook settled himself beside them, feeling equally as at peace.
“I wish every night could be like this.” He mused allowed. “Would you like that, baby?”
(Y/N) was only his for two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays, wherein he would often have them stay for the night.
“Mmmmm.” (Y/N) gave an ambiguous grumble as he hooked his arms around their chest to spoon them.
“Really? I can’t wait, baby. I love you, so much.”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
The morning after, (Y/N) woke up to an empty bed. Unusual, considering that Jungkook loved to wake up beside them and talk in the morning. Brushing that aside they stood up and padded out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
Jungkook was seated at the counter, glasses perched on his nose and his laptop in front of him next to a steaming cup of hot water (allegedly, it had health benefits but (Y/N) had never understood it).
“Good morning, baby.” Jungkook had a bright smile, beckoning them to join him at the counter. (Y/N) followed his instructions, hopping onto the stool beside him and leaning on his shoulder in a move they knew he adored.
“I’ve been working hard for you this morning, baby. You know, I want to get this done as soon as possible so we can be together.”
“That’s good.” (Y/N) hummed in reply.
“How do you feel about the moving company getting there at two today? That’ll give us time to have lunch on the way.” Jungkook ran his hand down their arm, soothing them as he noticed how they tensed up.
“What?” 
“So you can move in, baby. Of course, you don’t have to bring everything here and I’ll be more than happy to buy anything extra you need-”
“Wait, wait, wait a second.” (Y/N) breathed out slowly. “Moving in?”
“We talked about it last night. You agreed, didn’t you?” (Y/N) scrunched up their nose, trying to recall the conversation but drawing a blank.
“No, I never agreed to that. And I never would. It’d break the terms of our contract.”
Jungkook had such a sincere look of hurt in his eyes that it tugged at (Y/N)’s heartstrings.
“We don’t need that contract, baby. We just need each other. You know I’ll give you anything you want, right?” 
“And what I want… no, what I need… is for some space. This is just my part time hustle, I still have college and a life outside of this. I want to keep it to two days a week, otherwise it’ll blur the lines between you as a sugar daddy and you as a boyfriend.” (Y/N) tried not to let their irritation show as they spoke.
“Fuck the lines, (Y/N)! We don’t need any of those labels, I just want you to be mine as much as I am yours!” Their companion’s grip on their arm had grown tighter to the point that his nails started to draw blood. Realising this, (Y/N) pried his hand away and stood up.
“I’m sorry if I’d misled you. But I’m not looking for that kind of relationship with you, I’m just looking for strictly business. If this doesn’t work, maybe we should end this.” 
Jungkook stared at them incredulously.
“Well…” He bit his lip, deep in thought. “Fine. Life will go on, I guess. I’ll call up the moving company and cancel it. Let’s not end this beautiful thing we have over a silly argument.”
(Y/N) nodded, although they had a horrible feeling in their stomach that it was not the end of the conversation, and Jungkook would stop at nothing to get his way.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
(Y/N) had chosen to make Thursday a ‘me’ day. They cooked themselves breakfast and lunch, did some online shopping and applied a face mask. They had zero intentions of visiting anyone else, when all they wanted to do was de-stress from life.
As they were lighting a candle and listening to some Beethoven, a shrill alarm rang out.
‘Huh. They don’t normally hold the drill today.’ (Y/N) shrugged, waiting for it to cease. However, it didn’t stop.
After a few minutes, (Y/N) grabbed their phone and stepped outside, only to see people hurrying down the stairs. 
“Hurry! Fire!” One of her neighbours yelled, jogging past them. 
Their eyes widened, but sure enough they could see smoke curling throughout the air and they knew they had no time to lose. Leaving their apartment with only their phone in hand, (Y/N) followed their neighbours down the stairs and out of the building, standing on the pavement as they watched the flames licking at the building and smoke billowing out of the open windows. Soon enough there were fire engines on the scene and ambulances to deal with the people who’d inhaled too much smoke. 
(Y/N) found themselves sitting on the pavement, numb with shock. To think everything they owned was going up in the flames was terrifying, even as they saw the firefighters doing everything to minimise the damage. 
“(Y/N)! Baby!” Their state of shock was broken by someone yelling their name, and suddenly they were pulled into a tight hug.
“Baby, thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you.” 
“Jungkook?” (Y/N) instantly recognised the voice. “What- How-”
“I was in the area when I heard about what happened. I came as quickly as I could.” Jungkook pressed a kiss to (Y/N)’s forehead. 
“You need to rest. Come back to my place, okay?”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
(Y/N) had ended up staying there far longer than intended. Their apartment had been completely wrecked by the fire, since it had started on their floor. Every possession of theirs, gone so quickly, although of course Jungkook insisted on replacing whatever they wanted.
Jungkook seemed to be very much content with their prolonged stay. In fact, he’d been working from home for the first few days to make sure they were settled in and not feeling too lonely. (Y/N) would sit with him in his home office, since they didn’t really have much else to do, and scroll on their phone until he inevitably called them over to cuddle with him. 
The young man had become progressively bolder with his skinship, never holding back from pressing kisses to their neck or holding them a bit too tightly to his crotch. They hadn’t done ‘it’ yet, but with how he was acting it was only a matter of time. 
They were just sitting together, (Y/N) scrolling through instagram and Jungkook answering some emails when the desk phone rang. Jungkook reached around them to answer it, holding it to his ear for a few seconds before putting it back down.
“Your nintendo switch has just been delivered. I need to go down to the lobby and sign for it. Are you okay waiting here for a few minutes?” Jungkook pouted, as (Y/N) nodded in reply.
He pressed a kiss to their cheek before standing up.
“Don’t miss me too much, baby.” He smiled before leaving. 
(Y/N) let out a breath they didn’t realise they’d been holding in whilst he was there. But now, they were bored as ever. 
A chime rang out, and (Y/N) found their attention drawn to Jungkook’s phone, sitting there innocently. They reached over and picked it up, only seeing a text from his mother asking about dinner plans next week. But they noted how he’d changed his lockscreen to a picture of them, from a few nights ago when they’d accompanied him to a formal event and he’d asked one of his colleagues to take a picture of them together.
(Y/N) suddenly had something to do. They set about trying to unlock Jungkook’s phone, first trying their fingerprint and face ID but to no avail. Then, realising that he had a numeral password they tried typing in a few dates - his birthday, his parent’s anniversary. Then, out of sheer boredom and with only one attempt they tried their own birthday only for them to be granted access to his lockscreen.
‘Jeez, he needs to get a life if he’s that whipped for me.’ They sighed, as they scrolled through his phone. Nothing was particularly out of the ordinary, until they checked the photo gallery, to be met with tons of pictures of them. Screenshots from social media, snaps from their ‘dates’, selfies with them fast asleep in his arms. It was enough to make (Y/N) shudder with fright.
Another message popped up.
‘I need the other half of the payment, sir, or I will be contacting the police.’
(Y/N) clicked on it, expecting business talk only to be met with something else entirely. Fear settled in their stomach as they scrolled up through the messages.
‘(Y/N) has been evacuated outside, doesn’t seem to have been hurt.’
‘Someone’s called emergency services, but the fire should spread far enough that (Y/N)’s apartment will be damaged.’
‘I’ve started it, it’s spreading quickly.’
It didn’t take a genius to realise what had happened. 
(Y/N) dropped Jungkook’s phone on the floor in shock, standing up immediately. They’d walked right into his arms without hesitation, they’d played into his plan perfectly. Jungkook always got what he wanted, no matter the cost.
‘I have to get out of here.’
(Y/N) started for the door, only stopping to tuck their phone into their pocket. They were just by the entrance to the penthouse when they heard talking outside.
They knew they had to hide, but it was too late. 
Jungkook burst through the door, accompanied by a stern faced delivery driver carrying a large box. This was subsequently placed by the door and he made a swift exit, avoiding (Y/N)’s existence the entire time.
“Ah, baby I missed you. Here, come and see what I bought for you.” Jungkook beckoned to them, but one look at their face told him he’d read their mood entirely wrong.
“What’s wrong, baby?” He cooed as he approached them. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it for you.”
“Get the hell away from me.” (Y/N) snapped. Jungkook froze. “I know what you did. What the hell is wrong with you? I could’ve died in that fire?”
His face became stern.
“I would never have allowed that to happen. I just wanted to give you a little push to move in with me, that’s all.” 
“You’re insane!”
“And you’re too stubborn to progress our relationship!” Jungkook bit back. “Can’t you see how hard I try to make you happy? Is that not enough for you to love me?”
“I never want to see you again.” (Y/N) huffed, trying to show past him only to be caught in his iron grip. 
“You’re not going anywhere.”
(Y/N) struggled, but Jungkook’s determination was stronger than their body weight.
“Maybe I am crazy, baby. And you know what that means?” He leant in close, so (Y/N) could feel the warmth of his breath. “You never know what I’m going to do next. So don’t try me unless you want to get burnt.”
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