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my-random-shit-blog · 1 year

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Queer Cornley headcanons are making their rounds in the discord again (/pos) so here's mine in depth!

Annie

Pronouns: she/they

Orientation & gender identity: Sapphic nonbinary

- I feel like Annie identifies with being a woman but not strictly a woman. Sometimes their gender feels less binary or sometimes they just feel like they don't have one. It fluctuates for her. As for her sexuality, she just loves women. The reason I don't see her as a lesbian though is because I feel like she can be attracted to men, but it's more of a shallow, purely physical, attraction.

Sandra

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation & gender identity: Bisexual, cis woman

Not much to say about this one, it's just obvious and that's okay lmaoo

Jonathon

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: unlabeled, cis man

Everyone assumes Jonathan is the only cishet in Cornley, and he understands why. He's straight passing and most of his relationships and sexual endeavors have been with women, but he's not not attracted to other genders. He's just kind of into anybody who's into him and prefers not to tie himself to a specific label. Since it wasn't something he explicitly ever made known, the rest of Cornley found out about it when they went to a party together and him and another man were making out in the kitchen and half of the group walked in on it.

Chris

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: bisexual, cis man

Chris struggled a lot with his sexuality in his youth but when he went to uni, he slowly started to become okay with his bi-ness and let himself explore. Nowadays he's very casual and comfortable about his orientation.

Robert

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: a fucking gay mess, cis man

Robert is mlm, he's felt attraction for men for as long as he can remember. He knows this, but it's a big point of discomfort for him due to experiences in his childhood. He's fine with anybody else being queer but when it comes to himself, he's got major internalized homophobia. It does not help that the long-term subject of his attraction is one Chris Bean. He hates the complicated way he feels about Chris. He equally wants to punch Chris in the face as much as he wants to kiss him within an inch of his life. There is a part of him that is genuinely attracted to women, but only in specific circumstances. One of the main reasons Denise left him is because she figured this out, he never really loved her like that. He loved her in other ways though, but the reason that her leaving him affects him so much, is because she was a protective blanket and a comfortable lie. With her out of the picture, the parts of him he was desperately trying to repress are more persistent.

Max

Pronouns: he/him/any

Orientation & gender identity: pansexual, cis(ish) man

Max just loves people, but mostly his sexuality is; Sandra. He's just so madly in love with her. Though, I do think they would have a more open relationship, in terms of physically anyways. Max and Sandra are each other's #1's but they are alright with the other kissing, having hook ups, or other things, with other people; they also will include others in their ~spicy times~

Vanessa

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation & gender identity: lesbian, cis woman

I also don't really have much to add to this, but to me she'd be the epitome of a Useless Lesbian™️ (/aff) Vanessa is madly pining for Annie and vise versa.

"I just think that women." - Vanessa at least once a day

Trevor

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: queer, binary trans man

As a certified trans man*, Trevor is a fucking trans man lmaoo. Just like, look at him. For his orientation, I was torn between gay and queer but ultimately decided on the latter cuz I can just see him working in a lot of different dynamics

Dennis

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: panromantic asexual, cis man

Personally, I just can't see Dennis as allosexual, but romantically, I think he'd be open to all genders

#the goes wrong show #annie twilloil #sandra wilkinson #jonathan harris #chris bean #robert grove #max bennett #vanessa wilcock wynn carroway #trevor watson #dennis tyde #the cornley drama society #tcpds #grovebean #mischief theatre #cornley polytechnic drama society

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anotherteenageroninternet · 2 years

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so i'm making this kind of a masterpost of all the masterposts i could find here, so its easier for me to find them in case i need them. i made it for me cuz saving imp posts on drafts was making it difficult to sort it out, but you guys can save this too. if you find any post missing, please add it:)) also these posts are NOT MINE. im just copying the links and pasting them here. please keep in mind these have really serious triggering stuff and really non serious stuff too

(red is for really important, sensitive, emergency, or health related stuff, green is for really important but not that emergency stuff)

what to do if you're having a heart attack and you're alone

how to tell if your drink has been spiked

tips that can save your child from getting harassed or worse

chemicals that should not be mixed in any way or ✨death✨

its okay to leave uncomfortable situations

something adorable that will make you happy

crisis text line

deadpool teaches you how to tell the symptoms of abnormalities in your man berries(or woman berries but the berries down there)

please dont kill yourself . do this instead

facts that can save your life

these are MAP (pedo) flags people. stay away .

you are important

dealing with the worst case scenario

what to do if you fall in an ice hole

8 rules of writing

how to start a fic rec blog

awesome playlists

some piracy websites lists. fuck capitalism

sfw sex education sites

if you're having a bad day or night

does the dog die website evolving!

how to do emergency cleaning

studying tips

how to deal with anxiety

important. for safety

anti anxiety

app that can help you avoid self harm

how to make origami butterfly page markers

space technology stuff you can use in science fiction

queer book finder!!

do not eat mold people, even if you cut it out. no.

SPITE COOKBOOK (my personal fav)

how to get rid of migraines easily

LIST AND PDF OF BANNED BOOKS HDSHFDSGDS

how to tell symptoms of breast cancer

sites to download pdfs. fuck capitalism

some google hacks

build a character(masterpost)

obligatory rickroll cuz im a tumblr user and it would be a shame if i didnt insert a rickroll in here

tips to help you when you move out and be independent for the first time

for when you're bored

100 good questions to ask your friends at 4:02 am when you can’t sleep

tips for when you're sad but dont know why

post that never fails to make laugh however many times i read it

important life lessons/skills/hacks

alternatives to self harm

art masterpost

how to cancel a network from somewhere that bills you monthly

how to build a campfire the right way and pros and cons of campfires

how to report the person threatening self harm on tumblr and possibly saving their life

100 reasons not to kill yourself

please keep in mind these are not the only useful masterposts out there, these are the ones i have saved in my drafts. after posting this, im gonna start hoarding important masterposts again, if i can find(or if you guys send me), to add in the reblog of this post. love you all, please stay hydrated<3(please check the reblogs of this post as well for updates)

#mine #jia shitposts #important #masterpost #The masterpost of all them masterposts ahahah

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ashtrayfloors · 2 years

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I’ve been feeling shitty about the way I look, noticing “imperfections” every time I see myself in the mirror, only feeling sexy in certain selfies with the right angles, the right lighting. I’ve been reminding myself that I don’t actually find most airbrushed-looking “perfect” people attractive, and that what I’m seeing as flaws in myself probably don’t read that way to other people. And even if they do, fuck it, right. I’m trying not to care. Trying to wear clothes that make me feel comfortable in my skin cuz even if I can’t feel sexy or attractive right now at least I can feel comfortable.

I’ve been feeling shitty about my musical abilities, now that I’ve started playing again. All I’ve ever wanted was to be your spine is to be in a punk band but I’ve never had any confidence in my musical abilities despite the fact that I’ve been playing various instruments since I was four and from ages four to seventeen I took lessons for some of those instruments. And now the one thing I felt like I was okay at, singing, is gone too because my range is fucked from years of smoking + my chronic sinus issues. I’ve been reminding myself that most of my favorite singers can’t really sing and also even if I had never played an instrument in my life or taken any lessons who cares? It’s punk rock.

I’ve been having weird gender feels. And then last week I was at the grocery store and this group of employees stocking shelves in the aisle I was in started having a loud conversation trying to figure out whether I was a man or a woman and I wasn’t even offended, maybe a little annoyed, but it’s just weird because— I feel like most people, even other queer people, see me as a cis lady, and probably a straight one at that, these days, but bigots still clock me as a big old genderqueerdo.

I’ve been flashing back on the early days of the pandemic, two years ago, and feeling so sad in retrospect because I knew it would be bad but I had no idea how bad; I knew it would last a while but I had no idea it would last this long. I’ve been sad, sad, grieving everything and everyone that’s gone. My uncle is dead and grief is weird in that when I’m mourning one person I start remembering everyone, and everything, I miss. The dead, the long lost. I’ve been drowning in nostalgia, good and bad. Missing some of my long lost so hard it hurts, almost puking looking at certain old photos on my Flickr, looking through my old websites via the Wayback Machine, but on the other hand— I’ve moved on enough from some of the moments that things I thought would always hurt are more of a distant ache than a punch to the guts. The other day I was in my car listening to The Clash, and “Train In Vain” came on, and I remembered hearing it in 2004, in that coffeeshop in Cincinnati while my heart was breaking over B., and I remembered hearing it in the copyshop in 2008, right after I’d broken S.’s heart, and hearing it now I remember how much those moments hurt but now the song itself no longer makes me want to cry. And yesterday I was writing about W., and listening to that mix tape he made me in 2004 (and fuck, god, how was 2004 eighteen years ago? Sometimes I miss those days, that’s right you heard me, other times I, other times I, other times I could not give a damn, etc., etc.) and it doesn’t hurt to hear anymore, I remember him fondly but now it’s just a good tape.

I wrote the other week that I was determined to keep the press going, and then I looked at the reality of the situation and realized that without money and other assistance I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore and we’d have to shut our doors. So I put out one last call for help, and people have really stepped up. I’ve gotten donations, orders, offers to help with graphic design for free/small payment, even a guy with his own server who has offered to host the website free for three years. So I guess we’ll live to see another day. It’s good to know that people care, and I’ve been trying not to feel guilty about it. It’s hard for me. Don’t want to go into all the reasons why, but, well—some of it is my innate Capricorn “why ask someone else to do it when you could die of exhaustion doing it yourself?” mindset. The rest of it comes from being told in the past that I didn’t deserve help.

I’ve been doing really well with the not-smoking. I’ve been chewing on pens when I write because I need something to do with my hands, something in my mouth. I’ve been so horny it’s driving me to distraction. I’ve been making plans for the future, actually just booked a live poetry performance for May, and it will be the first time in almost two and a half years I’ve performed live. I’ve been cooking lots of good food, things with brie and fig jam and honey, or brie and apples and honey, things with goat cheese and spinach and roasted red peppers. I’ve been dancing in the kitchen with the kiddos, making art with the kiddos. I’ve been reaching out to my friends and family, cuz sometimes I hold off on texting, emailing, calling people because I worry they don’t really wanna hear from me, but my uncle dying has reminded me once again that you’ve gotta tell your loved ones that you care while they’re here, and while you are, and most people have responded in kind and a few haven’t but at least I tried, and at least they know I care.

A month or so ago I misplaced my Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds/Red Right Hand pin, and I’ve been praying to Saint Anthony to help me find it, and on Monday, he did. (And that’s sort of peak me, right? Praying to a Catholic saint to return a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds pin?) Tuesday was International Clash Day, and it was warm enough to take a long walk with the kiddos, and I realized that it was almost exactly two years ago, on a day much like that one, that I began writing my first Clash-inspired “fanzine poems,” so I made a Xerox-y/zine-y broadside of an excerpt from that poem. Then later I drove around listening to The Clash and drinking coffee, and I stopped in the library and checked out a bunch of queer books. And I texted A. and said: Happy International Clash Day! (because she is the only close friend I’ve ever had who feels the same way about The Clash as I do), and she texted me back oh yeah!! with a .gif of The Clash from the Combat Rock era. Yesterday, the author I’m interviewing/writing an article about sent me an email saying she was still working on her responses, but that my questions are amazing. Which gives me warm fuzzies because it has been a few years since I’ve really interviewed anyone and also, this author is one of my all-time faves. I had a brief panic attack this morning, but I was able to shake it without too much trouble. And today it was warm-ish again, so I went downtown and got a coffee and walked around a bit, scoped some cuties, then went to my mom’s studio to do some writing. On my way home, I deposited a check from my last freelance proofreading gig, and when I got home there was an email for me with a potential opportunity for a new proofreading gig.

I’ve been having intense dreams. About cities like St. Louis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, New York; cities I haven’t visited in over a decade but still love. About places I’ve never visited: Wales, Finland, Japan. Dreams about decadent food and sweet wine, about ballet. Dreams about kissing until I can’t feel the borders of my body, dreams about hot queer sex. The other night I had a dream where someone described my poetry as being like “punk songs for depressive old harlots,” and in the dream they meant it as a disparaging comment, but I actually think that’s pretty great.

I make art and art and art, my fingers are always stained with charcoal or crusted with glue. I get (re)obsessed with old bands, listen to 36-minute-long live versions of “Sister Ray” over and over. I write surreal prose poems about paper tigers and lesser-known saints, I write love poems to Emma Goldman and Vincent Van Gogh, and oh, all I really care about is art and literature and rock’n’roll.

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uzumaki-rebellion · 3 years

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“Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Volume 3, Chp. 9″

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"Black Butterfly, sail across the waters Tell your sons and daughters what the struggle brings Black Butterfly, set the skies on fire Rise up even higher So the ageless winds of time can catch your wings"

Deniece Williams – "Black Butterfly"

Disa spotted Pamela in the middle of the floor.

The moment the beat hit her ears, Pamela threw her head back and tossed her ass in a circle letting Disa know it was good to go.

The beginning was always the difficult part of her sets when she was trying to create a montage of feelings through sound. There were peaks and valleys she had to hit in order to hold the audience hostage. She almost lost it halfway through Zana High Life when the host shouted out DJ Geechee Dan standing on the side of the stage. Disa had been trying to find him up in the VIP section and he was right there, less than twenty feet from her watching her cut up a live mix.

It was Erik that saved her from bumbling her set as she focused on him moving instead of Geechie Dan being so near her. He came out of nowhere and she had no idea he could dance so well. The boy showed out and Pamela tried to keep up. It brought a smile to her lips to see him grab her homegirl and dance Pamela around. No one had ever been able to hang with her, and Erik pushed the woman to go all out.

Disa reeled everyone back in when she let Erik's voice quote "Beloved" over the music. He matched the tone of the syncopated beats. It sounded romantic. Dreamy. She took a respite and let the mix play as she watched him dance. So fluid. Like water. She knew he practiced capoeira and decided to go off script and freestyle her set. Dragging down some berimabau sounds, she cued up a Brazilian jam and dropped it on top of her own drumming in time to the stringed instrument. It struck like a thunderbolt on Erik and it shocked her to see him backflip and hold his body in a handstand as his legs moved in slow motion before he crouched on the floor low and swayed to the ancient sounds.

The boy was bad.

Loose hips and expressive arm movement fooled everyone into thinking he was just jamming instead of showing off a martial art. Disa was in awe and almost missed her next transition cue because she was so mesmerized by him. How could that brainy, standoffish, and arrogant man-child turn into a snake-hipped God of the dance?

Pamela jumped back on him and Disa played with them both by skipping her planned closing and taking the two of them to the Black Queer spaces she roamed with Pamela and friends. Punching up the voice of the icon Selvin Mizrahi, aka MC Debra, Disa brought in ballroom beats.

"That shouldn't have been the question," echoed about the space and Pamela stopped dancing with Erik and pointed a finger at Disa.

"Don't play with me, bitch!" Pamela shouted before she dropped to the floor and duck walked like the diva she was. This attracted their other homegirl Tatum who dipped several times making Yamilet stand aside with weak knees. Pamela played with Tatum in a simulated ballroom battle over Erik's attention until Tatum pushed Pamela aside and twirled around the youngster capturing his attention. The audience roared when Erik dropped into his own duck walk challenging Tatum. Erik's friends howled and the entire venue lost it when he dipped three times in front of Tatum making her storm off in a pretend huff as he duck walked after her before spinning on his back and shoulders. He grabbed Tatum's hand and ground on her ass with the closing notes of Disa's set. Loud whistles and claps erupted, and she waved to the crowd before the lights switched over to the next DJ who looked frightened at the prospect of following up after her.

Tatum rushed over to her swiping back long strands of crimped and twisty hair.

"Girl, your lil man was out here giving what he was supposed to give! Is he…?"

"Erik? No, I don't believe so."

"He was putting that thang on me like he wanted a piece of the good, Sis. He grab on me again like that and I'll let him get a taste."

Tatum's dark brown eyes were glossy from drinking and she followed Disa as she carried her crate of vinyl to the green room.

"He's not the type to turn mean if he knows….y'now…" Tatum said.

"He's very open. I don't think he'd trip to know you're Trans."

"Good. Cuz he could get it from any of these women out here. Did you see him move? I know Pamela is butt hurt that she was not the center of the dance universe tonight."

Tatum watched her tuck her crate under a covered table and push them far back with her jacket on top of it with her computer bag.

"I liked how you closed out your set."

"People liked it, yeah?"

"Yeah, but I worry cuz you know how these niggas be wildin' if you bring in the Fam in hetero spaces. Everybody turns into homophobe and kills the vibe for everybody."

Disa's cell buzzed. She pulled it from her back pocket.

"Yamilet and them. She's out by the car now."

Disa dragged her crate back out and Tatum carried her computer bag for her. They headed outside to the parking lot. Yamilet was there with Pamela, and Essie. She opened her trunk and Disa dumped her stuff. The women gave her joyous hugs and high fives before they traipsed back in to catch the other DJs.

Erik ran up to her breathless.

"Hey! I thought you were leaving!"

Disa patted his arm.

"No, just putting my gear away. Erik, these are my friends…"

She introduced everyone, and Erik shook their hands. Tatum and Pamela gave him big hugs and Yamilet snapped her fingers at him.

"Geechie… Hey! Geechie Dan, hold up!" Erik shouted.

Disa's heart dropped in her belly. Erik shook her idol's hand and brought him over to Disa.

"This is Disa Abdullah-Woods, your biggest fan," Erik said.

"My dear, sweet, woman, you are a master class of gifts. That set was-"

Geechie Dan kissed his fingers to end his praise.

Disa held out a trembling hand to him.

"No, that's not gonna do, Buttafly. Bring it in," he said opening his arms wide.

Disa burst into tears.

"Hey, I'm nobody to cry over," he whispered.

Geechie Dan gave Disa a big hug, and she stood there like a blubbering baby. The years that she spent practicing what she would say to the man if she ever met him in person went straight out the window. She used to laugh at people who became overly emotional meeting celebrities, but now she totally understood the overwhelming feeling that surged through her.

She wiped her eyes and Erik rubbed her back with gentle circles.

"I've been a fan since I was a little kid," she stammered out.

"Erik here told me. I told him how much I enjoyed his dancing and he just went in about you."

A crowd surrounded Geechie Dan, but he ignored them, his twinkling eyes on her.

"It has been a long time since I've seen a DJ create a set with so much intention behind it. You have something special in you, young lady. Never lose that gift."

Disa's mouth seemed to lose all ability to work. All the things she wanted to say stalled in her throat. He was there in the flesh. Standing in front of her.

"Disa has a radio show you should go on," Erik suggested.

"Oh yeah? Give me your number. I'll call you up and we can chop it up."

Geechie Dan pulled out his cell and Disa gave him her number, her voice a soft shell of its usual assertive tone.

"When I get some free time, I'll hit you up. Excuse me, they want me back up on stage. Amazing set, Disa. Keep spinning!"

The man shook her hand with both of his and his entourage and promoters swept him away.

"She's still in shock," Yamilet said waving her hand in Disa's face.

Erik's bright smile attracted her attention. Had he not spoken to the man, Disa may very well have missed her opportunity to meet him, let alone remember to ask the man for a radio interview. Her mind floated with the surreal nature of the experience. Her cell buzzed.

Here's my number. I'll be in New York in a few weeks, would be open to an in-person radio interview.

Geechee Dan's personal cell number. She had it. In her palm.

Disa reached out and grabbed Erik's shoulders. She planted a big fat kiss on his lips.

"Damn, what was that for?" he said.

"Being here," she said.

He wiped his lips and smiled.

"Erik…"

Chloe slinked up and slipped her arm in Erik's, tugging him towards the dance floor. Disa watched him enter the thick crowd of swaying bodies to dance once more.

###

Her night was a dreamy success.

Disa stayed in a popular hotel with her friends, and they hung out in the bar. Erik strolled into the lobby with his friends. In a tipsy stupor, Disa walked over to him with a fresh drink in her hand. "Didn't know you were staying here too," she said.

He took the drink from her and sipped it down.

"Hey… you can't drink this here out in the open, you're underage!"

She snatched it away from his lips.

"Nah, it's after midnight… I'm twenty-one now," he said.

"Oh, shit. It's your birthday? Today?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, Erik!"

She hugged him tight and gave him the glass of liquor.

"Enjoy," she said.

"What room are we in?" Jace asked.

Erik's dorm companion looked sleepy along with two other guys.

"301," Erik said handing Jace a key card.

Disa's friends called for her to return to the bar counter.

"Come celebrate with us," she said pointing to her group.

"I'm beat, to be honest. Thanks for asking me though."

"If you change your mind, we'll be down here."

"Good to know."

"Thanks for everything, Erik. Tonight was really special and meant a lot to me. Especially with you hooking me up with Geechie Dan."

"Glad to make your dream come true."

His eyes penetrated hers.

"Okay grown-ass man, go to bed," she said pushing on his arm playfully.

"You're drunk," he teased.

"A happy one at that," she said stumbling off to join her girls.

Three more drinks later, after a heated discussion with a group of men who hovered around them trying to interject their unwanted opinions about dating, Disa leaned over the bar counter and asked for a special birthday cocktail for Erik. She went to the lobby restroom, collected the drink afterward, and excused herself from her friends. She took the elevator to the third floor and found Erik's room. The fruity exotic drink had a lot of strong liquor in it. Knocking on the door, she waited for someone to answer. She could hear a tv on and talking going on inside.

Kelvin, a cute nerdy string bean answered the door.

"Is Erik up?" she asked.

Kelvin's eyes nearly popped out looking at her.

"You were so good," he yelped.

"Thank you… um… Erik?"

"He's not here."

"Not here? Did he go out?"

"No, he's in that room," Kelvin said pointing across the hall to room 302.

"Thanks," she said.

Kelvin closed the door and Disa did a one-eighty and rapped her knuckles on the new door. She toyed with the blue umbrella and pineapple garnish on his drink. Erik answered. Shirtless and wearing tight gray boxers.

"Hey," she said.

"Um… Hi. 'sup?"

"Birthday drink. A proper one."

She thrust it out to him and tried to brush past him, but he held an arm up in the door jamb blocking her. Her brain failed to register that he didn't want her inside, and she bumped against him, her breasts touching his chest.

"I can't come in?"

"I have someone here," he said.

Her eyes cut behind him. Chloe was draped in nothing but a sheet, the tops of her breasts threatening to spill over her arm that clutched the covers.

"Oh, snap. I'm sorry. I thought you were staying with the guys over there. Didn't realize you had your own room. Here, enjoy the drink," she said.

Erik took the bulbous glass, and his expression was full of embarrassment. He stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. Disa stepped back from him and fumbled with her hands.

"Handle your business. It's time for me to get to bed myself… get some sleep. Have fun!"

She tried to sound jovial, but something in the back of her throat made her voice accusatory. As if she caught him doing something behind her back. For months she thought of Erik as her little pet. He was her loyal puppy, and she had to admit she enjoyed all the fawning he did over her. But he was also a young man with needs. She tried not to look at the package that was hanging in his underwear. The outline of it was showing off. God forbid if he was a grower too.

"Me and Chloe kinda got this thing going on now…"

"New girlfriend and good birthday sex is a blessing. Night Erik."

She turned to leave and pivoted back to him.

"Can I put on a birthday dinner for you and your family? I know you're planning on eating at Toulouse, but I would love to host your birthday party at my place."

"That's too much Disa. I have a lot of people coming in from all over."

"How many?"

"Fifteen—"

"Pfft, boy, you've been to my dinner parties, you know how I get down. Fifteen is nothing for me."

"The cost alone will be crazy—"

"Let me handle that. You deserve a special day. You made my night amazing, let me show my appreciation. What would you like to eat?"

Erik's eyes grew thoughtful, they dropped to look at his drink.

"I love your Confit de Canard,"

"Aw, I see. I finally got you to give in to duck meat."

"It's gonna be hella expensive."

"Don't worry about it. Let's say six sharp on Saturday, three courses and Turkish coffee with a birthday cake."

His eyes lit up.

"I'll let my people know."

"Tell them to dress up. I'll plan a splendid evening with games afterward."

Erik grabbed her hand and pulled her in close.

"Thank you," he said.

"Better get back to Chloe. Don't want her chewing my head off for keeping all of this out of the bed."

She smirked at him and wandered down the hall.

###

Chloe had a frown n her face when Erik walked back into the hotel room.

"What did she want?"

"Birthday gift," he said holding up the fancy drink.

He sipped it, and the liquor was too strong for his tastes. It would knock him out before he had a chance to smash Chloe. He put the glass on the nightstand and pulled off his boxers. His dick was already at half-mast.

"Why is your dick like that already?"

Chloe sat up, and the frown on her face deepened.

"Looking at you gets me excited," he countered.

Hopping into the bed, he pulled back the sheets and swiped her nipples with his tongue.

"You're attracted to her."

"Disa? That's my homegirl—"

"Everyone knows you have a crush on her. You turn into a puddle whenever she's around."

Chloe folded her arms over her breasts blocking his access.

"If your dick is getting hard for her, maybe you should get some birthday sex from her instead!"

"Chloe. Stop trippin'. I'm giving this dick to you."

He rubbed the hardening length against her thigh. She slapped it.

"Wanna play rough?" he said.

"Was your dick hard for that Trans chick too?"

"What?"

"Disa's friend. The one with the long fluffy hair. You didn't know?"

"No. She fine as fuck though."

"You'd fuck a Trans woman?"

There was disgust on her face.

Erik sat up. He'd been around Trans women and Trans men all his life, especially in Brazil. He had a Trans play uncle in Sao Paulo who used to babysit him and his play cousin Marisol.

"A woman is a woman. She got titties I can play with and a hole I can fuck, I don't see a problem—"

"Ohmigod! You really would fuck her."

"That ass was amazing."

"I can't believe you're serious!"

"Are you a queerphobe? Cuz if you are, that's not gonna work for me."

"No… I just… I can't picture you being like that."

"Like what?"

"Accepting. You're like a man's man—"

"A Transphobe? I wasn't raised like that. My mother would never let me treat people like shit who didn't deserve it."

Chloe stared down at her hands.

"I'm glad to hear that, actually."

"Yeah? Why?"

Her eyes welled up.

"My sister… she's transitioning… he's becoming my brother and I worry about him going up against guys like you."

"Guys like me?"

"Y'know overly masculine. He's coming to visit me in a few weeks and I wanted you to meet him since he's interested in capoeira."

Her eyes met his.

"I didn't mean to be accusatory about Disa's friend. She's beautiful. Prettier than me."

"You're the prettiest woman in this room right now."

She slapped his hand and smiled.

"But you do like Disa. Right?"

"She's my friend. I had a big crush on her when I first arrived on campus, but now… she's like a mentor… a big sister. We're close and she teaches all kinds of cool stuff. I probably do act all goofy when I'm around her—"

"It's cute… really. I just… let's forget about it."

He kissed her. With guilt. Disa meant more to him than just a big sister or a mentor. She was the ultimate woman. But she would never see him as a man.

Chloe wrapped her lips around his dick and rolled a condom on his shaft after she plumped him up to complete hardness. She presented her backside to him and he sank into her walls and pumped, enjoying her soft sighs and cries of passion. He took off the condom much later as she allowed him to fuck her raw in the ass and dump a hot load in her anal walls. She kept his mind off of Disa and those lush breasts that truly made his dick thicken and visibly tell Chloe the truth. Disa was his dream girl. Everyone could see it.

###

The large package arrived at Disa's house the day before Erik's birthday party. She called him on his phone to tell them that a big box with a D.C. return address and B. Dunduza written in black block letters was sitting in her living room.

He drove over to her house, and Disa watched him tear it open. There was a note on top of the bubble wrap.

"Kept these in storage for you. We wanted to wait until you turned twenty-one to have them. Cherish them as we cherish you."

Uncle Bakari and Auntie Shavonne both signed it.

Erik removed the layer of bubble wrap and his heart nearly stopped.

He fingered the old dark brown leather, and a breath shuddered out of him.

"Erik? You alright?" Disa asked.

She put a hand on his shoulder as he lifted the leather-bound journal from the box.

"These are my father's journals," he whispered.

Opening the first journal, he recognized the careful Wakandan script written by his father's powerful hand. They taped a small piece of bubble wrap on the page. Erik unraveled it and gasped before falling on his backside.

"What is it?" Disa asked, rising concern coloring her voice

Opening his fingers, Erik stared at the wondrous gift.

His Baba's ring. Attached to the chain his mother bought for him as an anniversary gift. The chain his father wore the night he was killed by King T'Chaka.

His family birthright.

Now his.

Chapter 10 HERE

###

Tag List:

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#Black Boys Bloom Thorns First #Volume 3 #Killmonger Fanfiction #Killmonger Fanfic #Black Panther Fanfiction #Uzumaki Rebellion #N'Jobu

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wispforever · 3 years

Note

if youre still doing the character thing, how about spirit or marie?

I sure am. How about Spirit And Marie? Both wonderful characters. I’ll do Marie first, then Spirit. Thanks for the excuse to infodump, really. You people are too kind.

Marie Mjolnir

My first impression of Marie was the same impression I get of most female characters in anime. It’s either “why do their clothes have to look like that” or “oh god here comes the obligatory sexist heteronormative romance”. For Marie, it was more of the second. They mention in the same episode she’s introduced that Stein is her “first love”, which told me that if she had a large place in the plot, her assigned male counterpart around which to orbit would be him. Though I’ve never read the Soul Eater manga, I believe they do end up getting together there (I could be wrong). Whatever the case, I was relieved that Marie’s and Stein’s relationship (though heavily implied to be romantic, at least on Marie’s side) was left open to interpretation in the anime. I’m just very sick of cool badass female characters like Marie being reduced to the man they pine after. So, I guess my first impression of Marie and my impression of her now are largely the same. While I appreciate the moments we get to see her strengths and ability to operate on her own, I do think that her character really suffers because of the whole sexist “oh gosh all I want is to find a husband and retire” “oh my I have to take care of Stein” like okay, I had enough at the cat girl smothering Soul with her humungo-tits. I had enough at sexualizing underage girls and women in general. I had enough at making sexual harassment a punchline. That being said, when we push all of the shitty writing to the side, I admire Marie for her strength and how she interacts with the children, Crona in particular. Which leads me to my favorite moment(s).

The relationship Crona and Marie have interests me the most, since I’m really drawn to the parallels between Marie and Medusa. As parental figures (and as characters), they’re about as different as you can get. As Crona’s mother, Medusa is obviously abusive. Along with being negligent, she abuses Crona mentally, emotionally, and physically. In general, Medusa is a person who doesn’t appear to value interpersonal relationships, putting it nicely. She instead is more focused on her own interests, often to the detriment of those around her. Crona is Medusa’s only immediate family (besides Arachne who she is estranged from), and so they suffer the most from her refusal to show even a shred of human decency or warmth. They suffer especially because they are her child, meaning they’re stuck with her essentially, and repetivie abuse between family members like a mother and child often becomes complex because of the necessity of having a parental figure in your life to support you as you grow up. Medusa teaches Crona that their boundaries don’t matter and that they are only good as long as they are useful and do as they’re told. This is what makes Marie’s influence on Crona so cool to watch. Marie is caring by nature, loving and nurturing by nature. Her very wavelegnth is healing. She is kind and does what’s right reflexively. Marie is the exact embodiment of what Crona always needed but what, even upon being rescued by the academy, still felt so foreign to them: unconditional love. Crona struggles to understand why the other kids helped them, why Maka felt the inclination to stop their battle and save Crona instead by trying to understand them, why the kids are still so kind to them even after everything. They do not understand that love is not a bargaining chip. It isn’t leverage in an argument. It’s not a tool for emotional manipulation. Love is caring for the people close to you, just because. Love for the sake of love. The other kids and teachers at the academy are the ones who are able to pull Crona out of all Medusa’s lies, and Marie is a Huge part of that. Even though I have greivances with this being the largest part of her character and what that implies for female characters in general, it doesn’t stop being so beautiful to me that she could help Crona heal in this way. Marie = best mom for the win

Most of the story ideas I have for Marie involve her relationship with Crona or Stein. Say, this covers my unpopular opinion too. I don’t like Stein and Marie as a couple, but I really enjoy writing them as friends, because even though I don’t really jive with them being together romantically, I think their dynamic is an interesting one to explore because they Are so different.

Getting into that a little bit more, I’d like to start by saying I don’t care if other people like Stein and Marie being a couple. That’s great doods, keep doing you. The fanart’s adorable, the meta’s fantastic. Whoever you are, SteinMarie shippers, ffs keep kicking ASS. This is just my preference and opinion. Zero shade in this house. That said, because of my frustrations about Marie’s character I discussed in the first paragraph, I don’t like the idea of her and Stein being together romantically. It’s really a classic sexist trope: the troubled man and his sweet nurse. I’m also just fed up in general with the hetero-nonsense, so there. However, they are both wonderful characters that I enjoy very much seperately. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that I’ve only seen the anime, so I can’t speak for the manga as far as their relationship or Marie’s character in general.

Oh shit I accidentally already talked about this one lmao [see the second paragraph]

One headcanon I like to think about when I’m writing Marie is that she likes women (in addition to men or not) and she struggles with comphet. Just something interesting I like to think about. It’s really fun for me to take characters who have been written as pining or had 10 million failed relationships and be like “say what if they can’t find a husband cuz really what they really need is a wife”. I’ll talk about that more with Spirit inevitably.

Spirit Albarn

My first impression of Spirit, obviously him being a cheater, really came with a lot of distaste. I come from a family that was torn apart by infidelity, among other things, so it really rubs me the wrong way. However, his saving grace for me was that he genuinely loves his daughter. It appears that, whether it’s played for laughs or not, he just can’t find fulfillment in his romantic relationships. The reason is left up to the veiwers. Spirit, ultimately, is not just a shitty person, which is how most cheaters are protrayed in media. “Well, they cheated because they don’t care if they hurt people”, “they cheated because they are shit and that’s it”. That’s a fine explanation if you plan to do nothing with whatever character you’re describing, but Spirit is relatively recurring and is shown to be neither mean-spirited or emotionally unintelligent. It bothers me that his cheating and routine sexist behaviour isn’t taken seriously enough to be a subject that Soul Eater tackles and deals with. But that’s fine. I’ll just do it myself. At any rate, I still feel that same way about Spirit’s character, but I find it intriguing that he seems to genuinely want to become a better father and is actually a pretty good dad when it comes to his interactions with Maka. If Soul Eater had been brave enough to develop him more, maybe delve into the reasoning behind his impulsive romantic affairs, I think Spirit as a character could have been done more justice. It seems to me that he could be suffering from some of that wonderful compulsory heterosexuality that I mentioned before, then becoming confused when the woman he claims to love leaves him feeling empty. Rattling my gay little cage

When I think of my favorite moments with Spirit, I think of his moments with Maka, but I’m gonna hold off on that until I get to favorite relationship(s). In reference to what I talked about in the first paragraph, one moment I find really interesting when I’m thinking about my interpretation of Spirit’s character is the scene where he and Maka are on the roof talking. Maka asks Spirit why he cheated on her mother if he did, in fact, love her. He doesn’t appear to know the answer, and he doesn’t really understand how to effectively communicate that, though he was shitty husband, what he really wants now is to try and be a better dad. We hear his inner monologue, and he says something like “I love you [Maka] and your mama. That’s the truth. That’s the truth. That’s the truth.” Every time he says “its the truth” it sounds more like he’s forcing it. This is actually something that is SO strange to me. Even if I didn’t project a queer narrative on to the characters I love, I would look at this and be like “huh that is a Weird thing to say in that specific way”. Why does he say it like that? Why does he have to say it more than once? He’s only talking to HIMSELF. It isn’t like he’s trying to convince Maka. Why does he have to convince himself?? Could it possibly be because he’s reached a conclusion about his romantic/sexual orientation that he’s been trying to swallow his Entire Life??? makes ya wonder, doesn’t it, queers?

Just like I said when I talked about Stein, most of the stories I have in mind with Spirit center around that sweet gayness. But also, I like to think of ways Spirit could come to terms with his sexuality, how it might have affected him when he was young, his relationship with all these women, with his wife. I love to think about him being a dad at 18 and trying his best, but how much responsibility that must have been. Lots of great ideas when it comes to Spirit.

Um? unpopular opinion would be all the standard like I said with Stein lmao. “Oh no!” scream the heteros, “that they/them on tumblr is making Soul Eater queer we canst not allow that in our church!!!111!” But besides that, maybe even the fact that I think he’s redeemable?? Idk most everyone I’ve met thinks Spirit is funny at least and just calls him a dumbass and a slut (affectionate). Doesn’t mean anybody thinks cheating on your wife 56 times is okay so. I like this fandom, it’s chill here. My favorite is when I see my art tagged like “aw the stupid man and his crazy bf” like YOU ARE RIGHT

My favorite relationship when it comes to Spirit (besides Stein cuz if I start talking about them again I’ll never finish this ask) is the one he has with Maka. If you can call it a relationship lol. I guess I just find Spirit’s approach to Maka as a parent really refreshing. Not that the parents in other shows don’t love their kids or whatever, it’s just that the loving parent always seems to be paired with some other trope that makes their character hard to approach. especially in anime. Like the perfect mother who dies in the first episode, and we spend the rest of the show mourning her. Or the father whose love is somehow everlasting even though he’s never home. It’s really the fact that Spirit is even THERE that I love. He knows what Maka is up to. He talks about her. He’s invested in her life, and he loves her. All he wants is to spend time with her, and though he’s sad when she turns him down, he doesn’t push her. god dammit I just like a dad who actually loves his kids without all the usual strings attached like. oh my kids are a huge pain in my ass, but I love them in spite of it. oh i’m a man so can’t relate to my children in a meaningful way but i try. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I want all the dads to get so happy when their daughters wanna hang with them that they throw up like Spirit. Give me the guy who loves his daughter so naturally, whose daughter is such a huge part of his life, that it doesn’t even occur to him stop trying even if she literally wants to murder him. That’s Spirit. jfc

To end with a cute little headcanon, I really love to think that when Spirit gets older and starts losing the color in his hair, instead of getting white or grey, his hair turns a pale pink color cuz he’s such an aggressive redhead. Wouldn’t that just be adorable? late 30′s, early 40′s, Spirit starts getting little pink streaks in his hair and then bam. Little pink old man Spirit XD

There ya have it. Thanks for the ask, and feel free to send more.

#Soul Eater #Ask #Ask game #anon #Marie Mjolnir #Spirit Albarn #this is wisp

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

When/how do you think Ragnor and Catrina realized camille was being abusive towards Magnus?

Btw, I love u❤

fantastic question anon, i love YOU! i think that depends on a couple of factors. i think people who have already been or know people who have been in an abusive relationship are more likely to notice the warning signs, and/or to interpret stuff like the person pulling away as a sign of abuse. whereas people who haven't lived through it and aren't informed on it might not even realize what's going on until before it's over, and even be angry

so because we live in a hell world and catarina is a black woman, i think she is more likely to notice the warning signs than ragnor is, because black women are more likely to be in abusive relationships than white men. i'm not saying catarina herself has been in an abusive relationship necessarily but presumably her family has plenty of black women and she's also more likely to also be friends with other woc and marginalized ppl than ragnor is because again, hell world. so she has a higher chance of having been in a similar position before, although of course that's no set in stone rule and ragnor's circle of friends does seem to have a lot of marginalized ppl (and i hc him as aroace which makes him queer which puts him in an entirely different position than a straight white man and probably means something about the relationships he builds, but anyway) BUT my point is, i think catarina is more likely to notice earlier

i think ragnor is pretty perceptive tho, and also that they are pretty close and talk a lot, so i think once catarina noticed she would have talked to ragnor, and it wouldn't take ragnor long to realize that she was right

so okay when would they notice? i think that's always a slow process but i'm pretty sure their suspicions would first arise when magnus started to ditch them and stuff like parties and outings because of camille. first of all, i don't think that's like magnus at all, and second of all, there is an obvious difference between "i'm in the honeymoon phase" and "sorry, i don't think it's a good idea, my partner might not like it" or even "yeah! that sounds great!... just let me ask my partner about it". big difference

so that already has catarina in particular very wary of her because magnus is not the kind to ditch his friends because of a partner and the way he's acting about this is weird. so, she decides to keep an eye and maybe even put this to the test by making a surprise visit and invite him to a party like, right then doijadiosaj and she takes him out and she notices that magnus is Out Of It and he seems even a little... tense and scared and almost paranoid. and like, this is relatively at the beginning of their relationship so she wouldn't have been Horrible about it yet but at the beginning the person expresses enough control and discomfort with these things for you to be kind of uncomfortable even if you don't really realize that it's because you're Scared Of Hurting Your Parner

so THAT gets catarina really worried, because if magnus can't relax because he's afraid of camille's reaction, and worse, if he doesn't REALIZE that's why, that's the reddest a flag can get in such an early stage of their relationship. she tries to talk to magnus about it but magnus is the king of deflecting and basically waves her worries off. which just makes her more worried, but what is she supposed to do? she knows that pushing will only makes things worse and make it easier for camille to turn magnus against her and cut their ties. so, she lets it go and pretends that she buys his excuses. that's probably when she also talks to ragnor. ragnor probably had noticed that something was off but he hadn't really thought that it would be something super bad, and i think he'd still have his doubts about it, but well, he has that on the back of his mind now. and besides, he trusts catarina's judgement and he can admit when she is more qualified than him to assess something. it's why their relationship works

the first time they say anything is probably when magnus tells him about some fight they've had. probably because magnus told camille that he was upset about something she did - like idk, making fun of him in public about a topic that's sensitive to him. and like magnus wasn't even mad at her, he had never mentioned that whatever joke she made was off limits or related to a sensitive topic, he just wanted to communicate and let her know that it had hurt him, and she pretty much Exploded at him. and somehow turned it all around so it was magnus' fault for accusing her of trying to hurt him on purpose when that's not what magnus did, and now magnus pretty much wanted advice on how to apologize and let her know that he loves her

so catarina and ragnor try to subtly poke holes in her logic and show him that he has nothing to apologize for, without straight up being like "she's manipulating you" because Kids, That Does Not Go Well. and it makes magnus... heartbreakingly confused in that way abused people get when the logic they have been being shoved under shows cracks that would mean something too awful to even imagine

and catarina is a fucking wreck because at this point, she is sure of it and it makes her relive... so much trauma of other people she's seen go through that and lost and/or her own relationships if you want to go with that. and she doesn't want to lose magnus or have magnus go through that but she doesn't know what to do and she KNOWS that next step is magnus pulling away from her and ragnor no matter how careful she is

she probably gets the rare Comforting Hug from ragnor once magnus leaves and she also talks to dot and maybe elias? you know, their other friends. and they have a Catarina Comforting Day and hear her stories and cuddle and you know, try to make her feel better. and eventually they try to devise some kind of game plan so they can try to help magnus get out of this

it all goes to shit of course when they have the rare outing with camille, and camille is Obviously Refusing To Interact With Them If She Can Avoid It which is classic abuse thing - sure, i'll go see your friends, but you have to choose between interacting with them and me, so really you don't actually get to see with your friends because you'll feel bad that i'm isolated and eventually seeing your friends will feel either pointless or nervewracking cuz it feels like juggling your relationships. and if you want to see them without me i am going to act like you have something to hide and i'm a victim

anyway! so they notice that and they try to undermine that tactic by, you know, interacting with her a lot. so camille switches it up and tries to pick up a fight, and lo and behold, she succeeds - i know ragnor doesn't look like the kind of guy who loses his temper easily but i think when you push his buttons he is VERY bad at hiding it and half a snappy comment is all camille needs to lash out at him and play the victim. she's good

so that's when their plan gets fucked and everything goes to hell because then it's just too easy for camille to isolate magnus from his friends with really just a few tweaks to the previous tactic i mentioned - "are you really picking them over me, magnus? you're gonna keep hanging out with them when they are so rude to me, probably tell you all sorts of things about me, try to get you to break up with me? can't you see how manipulative they are? how they're trying to turn you against me? why do you insist so much on seeing them when you know how much that hurts me?"

and done

catarina and ragnor probably fight after that because god DAMN it, she fucking tOLD him that they had to be careful! and she's been swallowing all kinds of shitty comments from her but ragnor just had to fucking lose it at the first provocation, didn't he? and god knows how long it'd take for them to reach him after that, because camille is already preemptively making him think that they are trying to manipulate him to break up with her out of jealousy so he won't listen to anything they say directly. and she's right, of course, and ragnor is out of his depth and doesn't UNDERSTAND how these things go and how much this slip up will affect them in the future

i like to think that ragnor apologizes to her and catarina probably... has a breakdown because fuck she is worried and she is reliving way too many nightmares here. and ragnor is actually very tender and hugs her and apologizes and kisses her forehead and tells her that he's going to fix it. and he actually swallows his pride and apologizes to camille just to try and turn this thing around, but, well. the damage is done. and really, there is only so much friends can do when dealing with something like this. at the end of the day, they did all they could

and from then on they try their best to be there for him and pull magnus out of the camille-created isolation, but there's only so much they can do, and it's up to magnus to notice and get help to get rid with her. they'll always try to be his support system, but well. it's hard

and of course eventually magnus does get rid of her claws and catarina, ragnor, dot, elias etc., are all there for him when he does. and he probably feels guilty because he pushed them away but really they are just so RELIEVED that he's finally free of her. and him and catarina probably get a teary hug full of apologies for things that aren't their fault, and they try to make up for lost time by spending as much time as possible together now. especially because i think that it also hurts catarina to have her friends pull away - she obviously yearns for family, for closeness, i don't think she does well with people pulling away from her, she wants the kind of closeness that comes from routine and she used to have that with magnus and the rest of the immortal squad, you know? and magnus knows that, so, he tries to compensate

and eventually they start to heal their relationships, but magnus still has a long way to heal himself, but well. he'll get there. they are together and all

#sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #catarina loss #ragnor fell #camille belcourt is an abuser #brotp: comfortable shoes #brotp: my dear little cabbage #immortal squad #abuse tw #racism tw #misoginy tw #misoginoir mention #ask #anonymous #meta #kinda #camille's trash party #i have always wanted to be The Camille Angst Blog is it finally happening pls say yes

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hollyhomburg · 4 years

Note

(1) I find everyone's reaction to your belief in Yoongi's not-straight-sexuality more than a bit telling. Kpop is full of hysterical gender/sexuality policing. Lot's of straight girls/women who don't mind the idea of 2 men sexually as long as their self-insert is inbetween. G-d forbid any depictions of actual male bi/pan/gay identity come about. The men ALWAYS have to be dominant. G-d forbid you write femdom, they clutch their pearls. Gotta split this into 2 asks as I'm running out of room.

(2) Then if you write a bisexual female as actually having sex with another woman, they freak out. And that's if you can find F/F/M in this fandom, I have found 3 whole fics with it. And the writers had loads of comments about how the readers weren't into other women. It's complete and utter crap. So it's not you, it's a whole bunch of jerks who aren't as "open-minded" as they think they are and can't handle their fantasy being messed with. I feel this needs to be said: I'm not straight, I'm bi.

(i know i said i wasn’t answering asks on this but i wanted to give your ask it’s day in the sun!), yeah its honestly like- so hard to be in this community as a queer person sometimes, because for all its faults- the twitter army community actually is pretty open. and at least there they don’t shame people for just talking bout their idols in a queer way. I saw a thread that was nearly identical to the one I posted- and it had easily 10k retweets. some hate comments sure but still.

recently I've been thinking a lot about writing a story, IDK how many people saw the little snippet I posted with like, transman Jimin, transwoman Tae, non-binary Koo, non-binary reader. and then Hyung line who are just like aggressively supportive in the “if you touch a hair on my babies heads or miss gender them at all i will absolutely shank you” “Yoongi no one says shank anymore” “okay i will absolutely BEAT YOUR ASS FIRST”

and the story would just deal with like- tae figuring out she’s trans, and then having a kind of camaraderie with the reader because at the beginning of the story she identifies fully as female. and through the story she kinda starts to feel like she can’t come out because she and tae are just- they’re the babygirls of the group- she loves the kinda bond she and tae have when they talk about makeup and fashion and feeling pretty and wanting to feel pretty.

but the m/c slowly starts to realize that liking makeup and wanting to be pretty has nothing to do with actually identifying as a woman and it kinda builds and builds until Jungkook comes out as non-binary and she kinda like breaks- and no one really knows why except for Jimin. Jimin who knows how hard it is to be one thing but still love things that alienate you from your identity.

but it ends up being mostly positive! she and Jungkook start to explore non-binaryness together. with some conversation about how its really hard to be considered a ‘real’ non-binary by the community sometimes if you started on the female side of things. like- no one questions jungkook’s non-binariness if he wears sweats one day and skirts the next. but the second the m/c does anything at all feminine they’re “just faking it for attention” and there is a sweet moment between the two of them where jungkook is like. “you’ll still be not a girl if you wear dresses in skirts, we know who you are and we get it- and if you decide you want to lean heavily one way or the other that's fine too- we’ll still love you”

i just like the idea of Jimin and jin help the reader cope with dysphoria. and jin never minds when you flip between calling him “Hyung” and “oppa” from sentence to sentence. languages can be hard and honestly, he doesn't mind, he just feels soft and protective and so possessive over you four. the youngest of your group, it makes his heart swell with pride when he sees you happy.

you have little parties where you all decide “for the next 4 hours presentation doesn't matter- I just don't want to wear a fucking binder anymore” and you do facemasks and Hobi does all of your nails because he has the steadiest hands in Bts. Namjoon is always super soft with Jimin making sure he gets up in time in the morning to take his T, being all soft and swabbing the area on his hips, finishing it up with a bandaid when he’s done.

this page for me has always been about giving comfort to the people who couldn't find it in other places in the fandom. I’ve always been willing to unpack this kind of emotional story, the trauma, the nitty-gritty. and i really think that we need to be more comfortable discussing queerness and gender identity- personhood- without distilling it down to “this is wrong” vs “this is right”

because once we start classifying things that way- we’re only a shade off from bigotry and I don't like the idea that I create content for people who are in some way homophobic. one thing certain to me- if you saw my posts about Yoongi and me saying “huh- seems like he’s probably not straight” and felt the need to send me hate because of it- you have internalized homophobia in some way shape or form.

cuz for me honestly- when I see something I don't like on the internet that I don't like- I just have a little icky feeling- and then I move on. maybe if I'm particularly upset about it I’ll make a post about it on this page- away from where anyone can see it most of the time. but to feel so enraged by the simple insinuation that someone isn’t straight- when that insinuation comes from the person's own mouth- that you need to go try and tear down the person who just wanted to talk about it- that's homophobia. plain and simple. it gives me the vibes of like- if you went to your parent and you were like “sometimes i feel like i might be a little gay” and they go “no you’re not.” like- not even letting you question or explore your identity.

well anyway- this has been a long rant. don’t know if I’ll ever write that super queer BTS drabble but who knows.

#stealth-liberal

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electro-elemena · 3 years

Text

Random thoughts I just had about death note

this is very stream of consciousness and was written in google notes, so sorry for the format and grammar but I just need this to be out there. Also if some parts sound like they're spoken out loud it's because they were lmao

- media needs to be interesting (check)

- if you disagree with me go look at Ryuk and then come back

- love the concept of death note. Very *chef's kiss*

- tickles the part of my brain that likes unlikely and outlandish theories and scenarios

- however enjoyable media also has to be:

- not insufferable... Sufferable you could say

- OR insufferable enough to make it funny

- death note accomplishes the condition of the second

- never finished it, realized i was running out of fucks to give and looked for a reason to give more fucks or stop giving fucks

- spoiled the ending for myself, if you've seen the ending you know why

- spoiler alert for an old ass piece of media... Y'all have your reasons and if this bit doesn't fervently convince you to watch it then it will do whatever the opposite of that is

- misa dies too. Which is unfair

- she's a boss ass bitch and a whole model??? Like

- okay tangent

- light is not a good protagonist

- I'll take a potato chip... And eat it

- he's supposed to be one of those gradual unreliable narrators

- but past the first episode you immediately realize that he is in fact a horrible person

- you could argue that the capacity to kill people without consequence given to a teenage boy was destined to corrupt him

- and that's a cynical and bleh boring take

- (but likely)

- but tbh it takes a dormant god complex in the first place for him to turn out the way he did. He obviously already thought he was better than others

- loners are only loners if everyone thinks they're worse than everyone else or they think they're better than everyone else

- chicken or the egg first sometimes y'know

- so like if you have the death note to a kind person they'd like write down Jeff bezos or something and then hand it back

- or! They could be like "i don't trust you with this" to ryuk and just keep it (but secretly be like saving it for later in case they want to kill someone else with no consequences)

- or maybe they're just in love with ryuk. Which like. I'll squint at you, and judge you silently for, but won't say anything, because I'm a nice person and not because you possess the ability to kill me without consequences whenever

- anyways so he's a bad protagonist and objectively evil

- i say this even though I usually like the villains. I love the hero but I like the villains too

- i won't condone their actions but I'll think they're hot or cool or something

- cuz i always side with the protagonist, when they're not insufferable (wonder who that could be)

- but mass genocide is one of those rare things that's not "oh this is good but it could be gray if done for the wrong reasons" or "oh this is bad but it could be gray if done for the wrong reasons" it's very "no. This is not ambiguous. Throw the whole person away"

- far less forgivable than mass genocide, however, is how he's not down bad for misa

- like??? The only reasons I can think of for him to have been written like this are

- 1) he's gay or ace and they wrote him like that as queer coding and secret representation

- cuz i know that there are many characters like that and you will never KNOW if he is or isn't

- unless like the mangaka... What's his name... Comes out on Twitter and says so

Mini tangent

- i can not for the life of me remember asian names

- i was practically raised by anime and i still can not remember them

- does not matter how much I love the character or person. I will forget it at least once or twice

- every time someone mentions a mangaka i have to check the database

- i think it's mainly because I haven't learned any asian languages, and that's the only reason I'm referring to them as asian and not specifying, because asian languages have a lot of common denominators that they don't share with western ones

- anyways I can't pronounce them so I can't remember them

- or i think I can pronounce them and then the real pronunciation is just waiting to pounce on me and make me feel like an idiot

- had that ever happened to you? I mispronounced the word cicada until I was... 17

- i was walking with my best friend outside

- which never happened because we were hermits and we never left the cave

- and I'm like "oh you can hear the ciSAHdas"

- and he was like "..."

- "you can hear the what?"

- and it's funny that out of the two of us, the AP student was the one that didn't know how to pronounce ciSAHdas

- did i just say that right? Fuck

- ciKEIdas

- anyways Carson did not do well in school, because he's the type of person that, if he does not give a fuck, he simply will not do whatever you ask

- no matter what reason you have

- so the old ass institution that "educated--

- mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!

- "educated" millions of people crumbled at his feet, like the true being of chaos that he is

- although you could argue that it didn't do me any favors either, since, well, here i am

- and at least he knew how to pronounce cicadas! Damn!

Death note (ctd)

- anyways back to death note because we weren't FINISHED

- so he's gay or ace. My vote is for gay because of his relationship with L

- and L was another character that was treated poorly, he's way better than the early death that he got because he decided to be kind and less suspicious and i HATE that they did him like that

- for a show called death note they really did get death wrong

- funny how everyone around light ends up dying horribly

- you could argue that's because of the death not but I like to think it's because he's just that shitty of a person

- so back to light and how he's super fruity, there's actually a scene where misa is throwing herself on him as usual

- and i don't remember what she's saying, like i can't remember most of her lines

- and i don't know if that means I like her more or less than i would have

- anyways she's saying something suggestive to him looking hot as usual and he starts thinking about L

- like LMAO

- bestie, the closet is made of GLASS

- it is transparent. We can all tell

- 2) reason he could be written to treat misa like that is because it's a ha ha funny that he can't be bothered to give her the time of day, when she's a model

- he's murder sexual. He wants world domination, not pussy

- this is also a reason he could be considered ace but I just think an enemies to lovers with L is more interesting so that's my personal favorite

- anyways there's another scene where she's once again chasing after this toxic ass man

- which. Her main flaw is her absolute dog water taste in men

- so she's trying to get him to like her

- and he thinks

- LMAO

- he thinks "never before have I been provoked to HIT a woman"

- and he says it exactly like that

- which is hilarious for many reasons

- first of all

- i don't BELIEVE you

- you mean to tell me?? That with HIS PERSONALITY?? no woman had ever pissed him off as much as one being in love with him

- which, by the way, gay

- i would like to think this is possible not because of the previously mentioned "maybe he was a good person before given this power" bleh bullshit

- but because all the women had understood he was a fuckwad before interacting with him

- like they sent it to the group chat. The group chat? Yeah the group chat

- they were like bro. This dude? Bad news

- walk parallel to him at all times. Do NOT intersect

- cross the street if you see him walking towards you

- this is also why i like to think incels exist

- like they were already going to be bad and women just knew that and avoided them

- an alternative theory to the group chat phenomenon is that women instinctively knew. Like an edm... That's not the right word

- i know the word and that's not the right word

- e d... e p...

- like the thing you throw out as like a pokeball and it just makes all the electronics stop working

- like they take a break

- electromagnetic... Pulse... EMP!

- so that was sent to every woman's brain instinctively and they just avoided him

#death note #death note misa #death note light #this is objective garbage but i need someone to be forced to read this

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superunnatural-supersass · 3 years

Text

Honestly, I don’t have the emotional energy to go watch whatever lecture or video they put up re:the bury your gays ending

What I will say is that it does hurt to see Misha, who often tries to be the liberal queer champion, so bluntly deny the “bury your gay” trope while trying to be like “we did it, we support rainbow folks!” I know he’s coming from a place of true caring and wanting to create peace within the fandom because he DOES care a lot and cares about the character who has become a part of him, to the point where wanting it to mean something is probably blinding him a little in seeing just how dirty he/Cas have been done.

Respectfully: this is a time to step back and listen before you shove your foot in your mouth. This is happening because there is a LARGE segment of fans and outsiders who watched and are hurt by it. Frankly, it’s absurd to try and mince words and call it anything other than “bury the gays” because cas is “alive in heaven”

Ummmm......

1. That ain’t alive alive like he can go back to doing whatevs

2. He literally made a gay declaration of love and immediately got pulled into a black vortex of doom and was never seen again. Y’all called it his “goodbye”. So which is it? Either he’s “alive” and they live happily ever after building heaven or whatevs or that was his goodbye - you can’t have it both ways? Like, they gave him a half sentence mention after 12 years of dedication and thought that would mean “it’s okay because he sorta came back”

Nah.

Also - to the folks in the FB comments saying this is all about Hellers hating and not getting the exact ending they want-

Ummmm..... No? Literally nobody I’ve seen has been like “the ending was bad just because Destiel didn’t make out on screen and live happily ever after in the bunker”

They’re mad because you made another character canonically queer and then immediately killed them off as a plot device like all the other gays on this show. Like - IMMEDIATELY. And then never talked about any of it again and totally brushed them off. Because you took a main fucking character who literally carried the show for over a decade, killed him off, and then had Dean shrug over it while eating some pie while 15 seasons of TV have shown we just don’t give up on family with zero trying and leave them in Uber hell. It literally doesn’t matter whether it’s reciprocated or not - if it was any other character they would have given him 5 seconds of screen time to at least stand on the bridge or something.

It was everything else about that episode that made it bad- the hasty wrap up, the bad wig, the characters all end up living out the exact fates they would have if they’d never met - dean dying young cuz he’s just a hunter, Sam marrying some faceless woman, Cas being a puppet of heaven....

Ugh

So, I don’t want to say that Misha doesn’t get an opinion (because there’s plenty of evidence that he may not be just the plain cis dude folks are calling him cuz they don’t agree and how he identifies is his own business) - but ya can’t just talk for the all the queers when they are saying it’s a VERY REAL PROBLEM and no amount of trying to explain it away is gonna change our minds. We’re not dumb, we know what you’re saying, this isn’t about anyone not understanding and accepting - we saw the same ending and we still disagree.

#misha collins #Misha #spn #supernatural #I don’t have the emotional energy #it’s not up to you to decide for all the queers

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fromirelandtokorea · 4 years

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Lesson #129: The LGBT+ Community in Korea:

LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and more) issues are being more accepted and addressed worldwide in recent years, with many new countries passing laws against discrimination, conversion therapy and introducing laws for same-sex marriage and gender confirmation on legal documents (passports, licenses, etc.)

However, as wonderful as this is for LGBTQ+ people, it does not mean that they are all accepted and loved for who they are. In South Korea, the conservative society still deems homosexuality as unnatural or a choice that people make, contrary to the fact and knowledge of broader LGBTQ+ identities and orientations are very much lacking. Same-sex sexual activity is legal in Korea, but same-sex marriage is not. As well as this, conversion therapy is not banned, homosexual military applicants are illegal and same-sex couples cannot adopt.

There are some protections in place for queer Koreans, against discrimination in general and in areas such as housing and employment discrimination, as well as gender confirmation being legalized and more openly accepted. Citizens of all ages in this society have shown support or opposition to LGBTQ+ movements, with protestors gathering at queer events such as Seoul Queer Festival, calling it “obscene and provocative”. One Korean citizen whom I interviewed mentioned that one year when he was present at the festival he witnessed “vagina cookies, d*ck jelly” at the festival and found it quite revealing and provocative. Many opposing Koreans seem to think that all queer people dress in an outrageous fashion and said that they hope that they can welcome them back to “Korean standards” and “religious values”.

In an interview conducted at Seoul Queer Festival, many younger people who attended the festival said that many people are stuck in the old ways and that foreign views on these issues are very different. It seems that the younger generation is becoming more aware of how the conservative society is affecting queer people, forcing them to isolate themselves and feel alone and alienated, which in turn can have a detrimental effect on their mental health and physical wellbeing.

It is frighteningly clear that there are a large number of worrying issues surrounding these vulnerable people, however, fortunately there is progress being made in South Korea every year, and more awareness being spread worldwide about these issues.

To get a further, more personal insight into these issues, I asked a Korean friend of mine who is currently working in Ireland to answer some questions I had about LGBTQ+ issues in Korea. Here are the questions I asked and the answers that my friend Hansol provided me with: Q. What is LGBT+/gay culture like in Korea and is it different to Ireland? A. We are very closed. Especially old people think that it is awful. But the new generation are starting to understand LGBT.

Q. What do you think about it? Did coming to Ireland change your opinion or thoughts on Korea’s closed culture? A. Yes absolutely. When I was in Korea I used to work as a campaigner at LUSH which is a cosmetic brand. And I worked for LGBT (people) as well. But even though I worked for LGBT, I couldn’t understand them totally. It looks so weird.

Q. What about Ireland changed that for you? A. Since I’ve been here, I’ve seen LGBT (people) more than Korea, it’s started to adapt. I realise LGBT are the same as us and it's a common culture, and gay people get married, they don’t care to kiss on the street. But in my country, it’s rare to see that. I feel like Irish respect them, in Korea most people don’t respect them so LGBT hides from society.

Q. If someone came out to you as LGBT+, what would you say to them now after coming to Ireland? A. I just respect whatever they do, I just leave them.

Q. Do you think that LGBT+ people have a hard time around the world? A. I think, so far. Actually, I have no idea about western culture but especially in Oriental culture.

Q. Korea has a lot of different religions, do you think religion is a big reason it is disrespected or the general conservative society? A. Especially Christian. We have an LGBT parade, but it’s not common. It’s a minority event and sometimes Christians protest in front of them.

Q. Do you think LGBT+ Koreans and foreigners are treated differently in Korea? A. I think so. We have an open mind for foreigners, so we can understand LGBT from abroad.

As you can tell, Hansol really gave me an interesting insight into the views on LGBT+ issues and how her view has changed since she came to Ireland. Still left with some curiosity and a need for more opinions, I posted on HelloTalk asking Koreans for their opinions on LGBTQ+ people and issues. Here were the responses:

진세린 (Jin Serin): 편견없어요 그들도 사람을 사랑하고 있는 사람이죠. Trans: No prejudice, they are people who love people.

Sung yong: I wanna be gay too! Cuz they get dressed so well and they are always amongst the girls lmao. But if they show any interest in me, I would be umm..

StanleyHan: 점점 이해하는 사람들이 많아지고 있어요! Trans: More and more people understand! 90Babo: 여자만이 남자를 사랑할 수 있어요? ㅋㅋㅋ But I’m a straight. Trans: Can only a woman love a man? Ha ha ha But I’m a straight.

Jay: Well...these people are so open-minded haha. I feel still quite disgusting. I saw they made vagina cookies and d*ck jelly in lgbt festival in seoul and they’re spreading AIDS..Lesbians cause gender confliction of the websites and many girls are participating in it. I don’t want to care about them but they do like to reveal themselves. That’s why I don’t understand them though.

Marquis St.German: 게이들 중에 40-50프로는 여지친구 두고, 결혼해서 아들, 딸 있던데, 꼭 그런 것만은 아닌 듯 하네요.. Trans: Among the gays, 40-50% have had a girlfriend, married and had a son or daughter. It doesn’t seem like it..

Jaemi gyopo 3sae: Never understood it and found it gross. But I watched Call Me By Your Name. It changed my mind on how I felt. That you could love someone of the same gender. And the feelings are true. And love would be true. People find it disgusting because they are thinking about it sexually, which is just a small part of love.

Soojin: It seems like people are living in two separate worlds. Some straight people never know that there are so many LGBT+ people around them and just think those are only seen in queer parade, And some of them believe it’s okay to reveal their hate directly, since Korean society allows that. 지금은 나아지고 있다고 하는데, 제가 초, 중, 고등학교 다닐때이와 관련뒨 교유육은 받아본 적 없어요. Trans: It is said that it is getting better now, but I have never received any education related to it when I was in elementary, middle and high school.

If you made it to the end of this post, firstly thank you and secondly I hope you don’t lose hope with any negativity on this post. I am a huge supporter and a member of the LGBT+ community, and I hope that with knowledge of this issue we can help educate and make people aware of who we really are. I hope that you take the positives away from this post instead of the negatives, and remind yourself that you matter, you are loved and you are amazing. If any of this has hurt or triggered you I have a list of contacts and helplines you can contact, or you can talk to me. You are not alone.

Thank you, Caitlín xo

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yuna-dan · 4 years

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48. meeting again at a high school reunion au with prinxiety?

Hi!! I live the way it ended, and while my intention was to write it romantically, i think it can be read as platonic. Also, wow, it’s been ages since i’ve written a straight relationship (it will make sense, roman is a bisexual™)

I like the way it ended, but not the rest of it. I think it’s very slow.

Warning: Mentions of bullying, racism and transphobia, nothing graphic though.

Buy me a kofi? [Help me, pls] | Masterpost

Tag list: @just-some-gt-trash \ @theunoriginaldaisy \ @awkwardkindanerd \ @cas-is-a-hunter \ @underthesea73 \ @mariita-2006 \ @prinxietyforever \ @you-deserve-the-worlds \ @batpinkstudentpersona \ @such-as-we-are-made-such-we-be \ @obviouslyelementary \ @floatyghosty \ if you wanna be added to the tag list please interact with this

Highschool was weird.

That was an understatement, clearly. For Román Sánchez, a queer kid from an immigrant family, it was nightmare. When he graduated and went to college, he promised himself he would never look back.

Sometimes, he did regret it. Specially for Virgil.

A sigh escaped his lips and he leant his face against the window of the bus, Virgil was his best friend on that period of his life. He was his rock on that time, and Román was his. They stayed in contact a few months after graduation, until Román moved away for college.

It wasn’t that they ended up bad, fighting or just ignoring each other. They just… drift away. They sent each other merry Christmas or felices fiestas or even hey, lol do you remember that time I was so drunk I broke your closet? but somewhere in the middle they stopped.

It was sad, for him at least.

He wondered if Virgil was doing okay. He tried to look him up on his Facebook and Twitter, but apparently, he deleted his profiles.

Román pushed his twin slightly when Remus started dozing off, but at least that broke the train of thought going through his head.

To be honest, he was only coming to this “Lovely Highschool Reunion” in hopes to see Virgil again, and to maybe rubbed on the faces of everyone that bullied him that he was being a very successful actor, who wasn’t hiding his sexuality and was pretty much happy with his life.

Remus left out a snore, breaking Román’s thoughts once again.

“You’re gross.” He mumbled, staring into the window.

“Your face is gross.” His twin grumbled back.

Román laughed softly, and closed his eyes, hoping to sleep a little.-

---

They arrived at a hotel, a day before the party.

“I’m glad my bro is rich, otherwise I would’ve probably ended up sleeping on a park.” Remus said, entering their shared room because Román refused to pay $45 dollars for another one.

“I’m glid mi bri is rich, menso [dumb].” He mimicked, earning a playful glare from his brother who was unpacking.

Remus ended up majoring in psychology, and was working on a police station, helping with profiles of criminals and offering his shrinks advices to policemen who needed it. Román couldn’t be prouder of him.

He remembered, how back in highschool he would prefer dead rather than interact with his twin. They were, to this day, opposites. He hated his guts. That changed, of course, not only after their parents passed away but also as they matured and realized that they only had each other.

Román was bullied most of his highschool years for being a latino, so he tried to hide his heritage as much as possible, while Remus was the latino who would yell Cielito Lindo when something good happened, he even grew a mustache for fuck sake. Román hated it, it made his blood boiled with shame and rage.

Eventually, and with Remus help, he accepted that he wasn’t bullied because he was latino, but because people are assholes.

Now, Remus and Román were best friends, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Wanna go out tonight?” Remus asked, throwing himself at one of the beds.

“Maybe, for a drink.”

“Or… we could stay up late trying to chismear [gossip], I heard that Brad isn’t coming cuz he’s in jail, can you believe?”

Román held back a tiny smile, “Why do you keep contact with this people, Re?”

He shrugged, “El chisme llega a mi, yo no lo pido.” [Gossip arrives, I don’t ask for it]

“Yeah, sure, viejo chismoso.”

In the end, they did end up just chatting and gossiping around their ex-classmates lives, even checking their profiles on the internet and laughing at the cringest photos.

“Do you think he will come?”

“Mmm? Vee?” Remus blocked his phone, “I mean, probably…” He trailed off, not knowing what else to say, “You want him to come?”

“I wish he did…”

Remus hummed, probably thinking as the shrink he is, but said nothing.

When Remus tried to speak again, Roman was already asleep.

This was a bad idea.

Annie stared into the mirror, at the purple dress that Patton had bought him. It was weird, how back in highschool he barely talked to him, and now he was his best friend. Even though, that word tasted weird on her tongue.

“I’m not sure about this.” She said, twirling with the dress on.

“I think you look great, Ann.”

She grumbled.

She would stare into the eyes of people who still thought about her as Virgil, and she wasn’t even sure how to feel about it. She wanted to see Román again, of course, and while she knew she still had his phone, still she wanted to tell him on his face.

“Hey Ro, guess what?”

She postponed it for three years, and now this was probably her last chance. Patton said she was being dramatic, but she felt as if she owed Ro an explanation on why she suddenly stopped talking to him.

She still stalked him on Facebook, more times than she’s proud on admitting. Since she deleted the Virgil Sanders profile and created Annie Sanders, she wasn’t brave enough to send a friend request to him, but she could still see some of his posts, as well as his Instagram account, and since Roman was an actor, he was more public there.

“Stop overthinking, An.” Pat hit her softly on her shoulder, “it’s going to be okay.”

“What if someone makes fun?”

“Then that’s their problem, sweetheart.”

“I hate when you’re optimistic and right.”

Patton chuckled, but didn’t say anything.

“This is boring.” Remus nodded, “The food it’s awful.” Another nod, “People are being hypocrites.” Nod, “And he’s not here.”

“Hey, Ro!” Someone interrupted whatever Remus was going to say, and he just shrugged and went back to his drink and probably texting his significant other. Román turned around, with a smile on his face waiting for another person to say something about how much he changed, only to find Pat and a girl.

“Pat!” He said, a little more excited. Patton wasn’t his friend, per se, but he wasn’t a jerk back then, “How are you?”

Patton seemed nervous, but then again, a highschool reunion wasn’t exactly a place to be calm. “Huh, I’m doing fine Ro, I see you’re in acting, I was very happy when I saw you got a leading role.”

Román felt himself smiling softly, a genuine one, “Oh, thank you very much.”

Then a wicked smile appeared on Pat’s face, grabbed the wrist of the woman behind him, “I actually went with An to see the movie, you should talk with her!” He then turned to Remus, who was watching the whole scene with an amused face, “Ree~ Please come with me!” and grabbed his twin’s arm and walked away.

That was weird.

“Hello? I’m Roman, nice to meet you, Ann.”

The girl looked away, she was blushing. Roman noticed that she was pretty, a sharp jawline, and pretty green eyes her eyes looked like Vee’s. Her gaze was on the floor, as if she was trying to make herself smaller.

“You, huh, I know you.” She looked up, like she was scared, “I meant it like, we’ve already met…”

“Huh? I don’t remember you. Higschool was horrible, for me anyways.”

Ann made a face, like she was hurt, “Then why did you came?”

“I wanted to meet someone. My bestfriend, we lost contact. Maybe you know him? His name is Virgil!”

She winced when the name left his mouth, “I huh, I am him. I mean… surprise?”

Román stared at her, “I’m not understanding you, Ann…”

She took a deep breath and lock her emerald with his own eyes. “I am Virgil.” She winced again, “I was Virgil. I’m trans. Nice to see you again.”

For Ann, time stopped the moment she said the last word. She knew that Román wouldn’t be transphobic, but at the same time she was so damn scared.

“Oh.” He simply said.

Then she felt the way Ro’s arms were circling around her, and she melted instantly on the embrace, “Goddamit Ann.” He was wetly laughing, “You could’ve just told me.”

“I didn’t want to tell you over text, and then… time flies.”

“I missed you so much! I have so much to tell you!”

And just like that, it was like time stopped around them.

It was like time didn’t even went by.

I don’t think there are a lot of MtF fics, and I really wanted to write one, but I wasn’t sure how to, so I hope this is okay.

Thank you so much for reading!!

#yuna's fic #ts fic #sanders sides fic #prinxiety #ts prinxiety #ts #thomas sanders #anxiety sanders #virgil sanders #ts anxiety #ts virgil #prince sanders #roman sanders #creativity sanders #ts prince #ts roman #ts creativity #im tagging this and my cat is just like staring at me demanding to go back to sleep #creativitwins

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5sosbitchfest · 4 years

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Reactions to Luke’s IG Story 6/14/2020

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate her as much as the next person but bi people in straight relationships are still bi

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I call bullshit on Messy being bi. Sorry, if she was bi, why didn't she come out earlier? Her 'haters'? Where? Also, Luke needs to learn the difference between supporting Pride and celebrating it while PR dating a fake ass 'bi' woman.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I also don’t think it’s fair to say Sierra has never been in a same sex relationship we really don’t know who she’s dated. This is a big problem in the LGBT community, when a bi woman is in a relationship with a man her bi identity gets erased. Halsey has actually talked about this a lot. While I agree that Lierra is not a queer couple, that does not erase Sierra’s identity as a queer woman, and pride is absolutely still for her to celebrate too 🌈

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: *i understand that it was Luke’s post but obviously she had input to post it.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Does Messy’s journey of her sexuality excuse her transphobia? Bc I don’t think so. She sure is selective about who and what she celebrates then. She posted that picture for attention, like everything else she does. It sounds harsh and if she wants to share her journey then great but let’s recognize and call it out for what it is. She doesn’t need to have Luke in a post to talk about her sexuality. Happy Pride Month to that person she purposely misgendered and attempted to invalidate.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It’s not about disliking Sierra anon. She has only officially came out in a reply on twitter that she later deleted. That’s the only time it’s been mentioned. People struggle to come out and she tweeted and deleted it as if she actually wasn’t saying it. And now her boyfriend is the one essentially coming out for her? That’s what the issue is anon she has never openly said she was bisexual and now that it’s pride month she is? This is just the first time it’s being brought up& it wasn’t even her

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I don’t care that Luke posted good on him but him posting something for pride halfway through the month makes the other boys look inconsiderate for not posting anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm the anon that said the thing about "lets not make this into a mikey situation" I agree that it was a complete distraction tactic, and I also can not stand Sierra I was just trying saying that even with those two things in mind the post isnt harming anyone and so we shouldn't get mad at luke for making it.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate to admit it but I don't see Lierra ending anywhere near soon. Yes, couples don't last forever and still I don't think they will but let's be honest, he cares about her. Idk how things are in their life, and I hope he's happy, but I think she will stay around for this year and maybe a bit of 2021. 🙄

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Okey but was the "biracial" necessary? It made me cringe...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I know luke can be cringy when it comes to Sierra but cmon haven’t we learn by now all the cringy stuff if from Sierra being on his account lol

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Sierra wrote that ... no caps, her grammar, fave chosen emojis etc totes her 10000000000% although glad acknowledging bisexual biracial but Angel? Angel by day and to stans but I thought she was the “late night devil”

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Something about Luke’s ig story doesn’t sit well with me... the fact that he felt the need to state that she’s biracial and bisexual just makes it look like he’s treating her like some kind of a trophy to show off, idk it just doesn’t feel right

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Why do L and S feel the need to make everything about S? This isn't about you, so shut up and actually get a job.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: “beautiful bisexual biracial angel” i’m gagging and laughing so hard yeah he 100% wrote and posted that himself /sarcasm

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I love luke and I'm happy if he's happy but the way Sierra clings to him in that photo is so gross. It really just feels like she's using him to do her dirty work. Like that post didnt feel genuine at all and it really seems like luke isnt even trying to convince us anymore he just does the bare minimum to make her happy. I dont blame him tho. Just feels icky.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: As a straight person, I hate straight couples and hope to never be cringe.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm sorry but that Instagram story that luke posted talking about his "beautiful bisexual biracial angel🥰🥺" does NOT (capitalize, underline and bold) sound like how luke would type something. The first part where he talks about how far we have to go sounds like him but not that that part.. not even close. Want to bet either sierra typed it, gave him the idea to say that OR did both cause we know she monitors him like crazy

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: "Bisexual biracial" is so unnecesarry. Luke, hon, shut up. People are out here fighting for their rights, and you feel the need and have the audacity to make it about your crazy ass girlfriend? Don't get me wrong, I love the boys, but making every fcking thing about your girlfriend-particularly luke- is not the point of these movements. So stfu Luke, stfu Sierra, stop making everything about S. That pisses me off, sorry I just needed to rant somewhere.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: is it just me or does the whole “beautiful bisexual biracial angel” not sound like him or something he’d say??? idk I’m kinda new to the fandom but it felt cringey reading that come from him

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Did you see what luke posted on his story? Seems him and Sierra are getting along great, smh. Also she's confirmed bi as well I guess. That's cool. Hope she doesnt use it as a weapon to defend criticism tho. Also did luke redo his hair cuz it seems very white again. Idk. Seems fishy. What are your thoughts? Do you think he was told to post that to distract from mike?

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: just when I was starting to forgive luke for his “response” to messy’s MESS, he goes and posts this... I’m TIRED

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: ok but as a lesbian it makes me sooo happy that Luke is celebrating pride and he's supportive of her sexuality 🥺 men never take bisexuality seriously and I love that he respects that. YET as someone who doesn't like s I'm like why....... like this week has been so frustrating and we were all like "they don't defend m bc they're in a sm break" and now he comes to post this and doesn't say anything? i just :(

allisonscarlett said to 5sosbitchfest: Honestly pride month came just in time cause I remember some stans saying that sierra is probably not bisexual and now there's luke insta story. I'm not trying to erase anyone's sexual orientation, I'm bisexual myself and I've found it weird that in the past years sierra didn't anything about her sexuality during pride month (and don't remember when she tweeted about being bi but I don't thing that it was in during pride month)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: is anyone else getting"i can't be racist/homophobic because my gf is biracial and bisexual" vibes from lukes ig story or is it just me??? does he know he's digging a hole???

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: should we assume luke posted that in response to the insiders muke information? interesting timing on his part

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I honestly can't stand Luke rn. Angel? Angel???? ANGELLL????????????

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Okay but I don't think that counts as a "a straight couple thinking pride is theirs to celebrate". Just cause Sierra is in a straight relationship doesn't take away from the fact that she's bi, or mean she can't celebrate pride. And I think Luke wishing her and everyone a happy pride is actually a really supportive thing for him and again doesn't really count as a straight person thinking pride is theirs to celebrate, because he's focusing on her, not himself.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: “my beautiful biracial angel” i hate it here

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Gonna say something to MAYBE make some people happy. That picture was taken at a PROTEST. So they probably aren't together 😂😂 they were just together for the protest

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The biracial part of his story post is feeding into him being a king for dating a mixed person

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: ok luke did look very cute tho

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Every single time there’s any drama in the fandom, a new “cute” picture pops up and some people really think that’s goals? Like in what world is now the time for that kind of post, if it isn’t a direct pr response to the twitter mess of the past few days? Smh they’re not even trying to be subtle anymore

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: i think it’s fine for straight couples to go to and celebrate pride when one of them or both of them aren’t straight.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I was reading this blog a few hours ago and I read a post where someone said that everyone basically assumed sierra was bi bc of a comment and now Luke comes out calling her "bisexual" as if he was confirming it...Idk felt weird lol

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Bisexual biracial angel😭😭 who made him write that and thought people will take it seriously

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: have you seen luke’s story? “especially to my bisexual biracial girlfriend” i fucking CACKLED like is it how she’s supposed to be known for?

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: thank you luke for that ig post for it will keep messy ass kissers away from m mentions for a while

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Funny how you just brought up everyone saying that Sierra was bi just cause she said she loved men and woman and woopty do guess what luke put on his insta story. “My beautiful bisexual biracial gf” Luke I love you but 🤢

#kirby #luke #lemon #messy #Happy Pride

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taxicabinmemphis · 4 years

Text

#StayProud is today so I guess I will tell people the boring story of how I "came out", and why I didn't come out earlier. Long post, don't feel obligated to read! I just thought it was a good day to share.

~~~

So, for background, my parents are liberal, accepting, not homophobic at all, so they aren't unsafe to be gay around. However, as I started to figure out that 'hey I'm pretty gay for the White Canary', my parents and I had a conversation about being LGBTQ+. I mentioned how I knew many people around me who identified as gay, bisexual, or queer, and I also brought up Brendon Urie being pansexual (he was the only pan I knew of, and I was thinking I was pan). Bringing that up was me kind of putting my right foot out of the closet, testing the waters to see if I might later come out. After I explained what pansexual was, my dad made a remark that wasn't exactly homophobic, but it did just kinda shove me back into the closet. "Yeah, but I think at your age, you're just too young to know."

Right as it was said I was taken aback, hurt, angry, irritated, annoyed. I immediately wanted to jump to the defense of my friends (I didn't name anyone or anything, I don't out people), but I was basically speechless and caught off guard.

Because my dad had talked to me about BOYFRIENDS before, seemingly acknowledging that I could have a crush on a guy (but that I was too young to date, and I was, I was 11). He KNEW that I had the hots for a friend when I was three. THREE. I wasn't too young to love then!

But the thing was, the thing that was confusing me, was that all throughout elementary school, I never had a crush, and everyone around me was like "Julia, you have to have a crush. Not having one is unrealistic! We all know you have the hots for [insert male name here]. He likes you!"

And now my father is saying that I can't know if like a badass woman I saw on TV, that I'm too young?! I was in sixth grade, goddammit! I had friends who were dating. Was there some age you had to reach before you could be gay?

I knew my sexuality. I knew I wasn't too young. I also knew that if it did change, that if I started to prefer something else, I could. And that was okay. But I knew that then and there, a sixth grader who had never been taught about homosexuality, who learned about the LGBT+ community from her bi friend and learned about pansexuality from the internet, that I was pan.

And so I became spiteful. Looking back, too spiteful, but it's too late now. I figured "if you think I'm too young to know, and if I think there is no such thing as too young, you will decide when I am old enough. You will decide when I have reached the age where I am eligible to come out. When you decide you are ready for me to come out, you can ask me. And I will tell you."

And that became my motto. "If you ask, I'll tell." And so it eventually became that everyone at school knew, as I was very open about my sexuality, would throw it in conversation when appropriate, and when people would come out to me, I would come out to them. My friends outside of school knew too, we watched Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow together and I did nothing to hide my crush on Sara Lance. And so it became that my friends knew, some of my teachers probably knew, but my parents didn't.

But then I failed my mental health questionnaire/check-in/whatever.

And my primary care doctor basically said "Get this fucked up teen to therapy AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" She implied that we should looked at therapists the second we got home.

Either way, it took my mom a few months to get me a therapist. We're pretty poor, my parents get busy, and therapy is damn expensive! And eventually, by the time I thought my mom forgot that the doctor demanded that I get help, I got a therapy appointment.

And the first thing that happens, is intake.

So flash-forward, I'm in the therapist's office, my mom's beside me because a parent or guardian had to be there and I am not comfortable with my dad when it comes to discussing mental health. Intake is basically a lot of questions, at least it was for me. Pronouns and other basic stuff that I don't remember.

But the question came.

"Sexuality?"

And I went to say "I don't want to answer that" as my mom was right there and I was used to hiding my sexuality from her. But then the words rang through my head.

If you ask, I'll tell you.

And so, with a slight smirk on my face but nerves coursing through my brain, I said "Pansexual." There it was. There was no going back.

My mom was shocked; her form flinched backwards in surprise. The therapist could see I hadn't told my mom this before. My mom wasn't mad or anything, she just told the therapist "yeah I just didn't know" and I turned to her and said my motto "if you asked, I would've told you".

No, it is not her fault for not asking. I'm not angry at her. She didn't make the comment that I was too young. I just wished she would've realized how socially anxious I am, that I would never have the courage to sit them down and tell them, or even just randomly shout "guess what, I'm pan!"

But I resigned myself to "if they ask, I'll tell, cuz even if they don't just ask me out of the blue, they most definitely will want to when I bring a girl home". It was a combination of spite and anxiety.

My dad on the other hand, I never truly came out to. I realized I could never do the sit down with the family, or bake a pink, yellow, and blue cake with the statement of ‘I'm pansexual’ gracing the top. Because two of the three people I lived with knew (I came out to my grandpa early on, I feel really safe around him so that was easy). My father realizing was basically a random throw-in of "...pansexuality, like me..." and I continued on. I could see the look on his face but it wasn't enough shock to stop me. That, and me desperately trying to give him clues. Because it's so casual and forgettable with him though, I will still make gay statements to make sure he hasn't forgotten. But because of his reaction of "of course" to "I mean I don't blame Julian Bashir for flirting with Jadzia, if I were on DS9 I would have the hots for her too" (my most recent gay statement), I think there is no confusion.

~~~

So yeah! That's my gay story! I don't expect anyone to read it, it's super long, but I really just wanted to share on this prideful day. To those of you who somehow haven't figured it out, I am pansexual! And I am not in the closet anymore.

I will say that I am very lucky to be able to come out as I did, that so many of my LGBT+ siblings don't have that privilege. I am here for you, my messages are always open, and I support you.

#StayProud

#stay proud #stayproud #long post #my coming out story #i love you guys

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lastoneout · 5 years

Text

So I keep telling myself I’m not gonna talk about this anymore but it’s late and I’m salty and I figure this would be a good learning opportunity for everyone anyway so whatever.

I keep seeing people commenting on how the Delpad Week prompt list getting stolen and vandalized doesn’t count as art theft because I guess technically I didn’t “draw” anything while making it. And I feel like this is coming down to people just not understanding the work that goes into graphic design? (I mean I assume some of it is just people wanting to make excuses for doing something horrible but w/e I had my panic attacks I’m over it.) So since we do live in an age where people still devalue graphic design and other computer-based art forms I thought would break down all of the steps that I took when designing the prompt list, as well as the icons and banners for Delpad Week.

(And as a quick disclaimer there were probably easier ways to do some of the things I’m gonna list but I am still learning and I had never really used Clip Studio Paint before. I am an amateur, be patient with me.)

Step One - Picking Fonts!

Now this one might have come down to me just being picky, but I had a pretty clear idea in my head of what I wanted the “logo” to look like so after opening Clip and determining that NONE of the default fonts came anywhere close to what I was looking for I went to dafont.com and spent like...god I want to say close to an hour browsing the free fonts until I found a 5-10 options I liked.

I then had to extract and install all of the files onto my pc and make sure they worked, which is easy, but still took time.

Then I typed out what I wanted the logo to say using all of the different fonts to see what they looked like and what they looked like next to each other. See it’s a good idea to compliment fancy serif fonts with simple sans serif ones so I needed to pick a fancy one for the “Delpad Week” text and then a simple one for the prompts and dates and such.

Step Two - COLORS!

After I picked the two fonts I wanted to use I had to pick out the colors for the poster and the text. I took the colors for the “Delpad Week” logo itself from a pic of the Sun Chaser/Cloud Slayer I found, both the usual red and then the darker shadow. Which, once again, there HAS to be an easier way to do this but I typed the words out twice in both colors and painstakingly layered them over each other in just the right way to get the “drop shadow” effect I wanted.

Then I picked a nice light black for the rest of the text that I think I took from the line art on a screen cap I found? Either way it looked better than true black. And took time to find.

And of course I needed to find a good blue for the background which took a bit cuz it needed to match everything else.

Step Three - Sizing!

I had to look up all of the different recommended photo dimensions for tumblr and twitter icons, headers, posts, ect to make sure the damn things wouldn’t look wonky once I uploaded them.

Oh and since Clip is weird I did actually have to do that typing/layering thing on EACH NEW PICTURE I made. Which making sure they all looked the same sure was FUCKING HARD and took hours!

And my friend took the time to make the transparent Della and LP for the banners and I had to resize and center them on each pic. And I had to find and size/position the clouds and transparent Sun Chaser/Cloud Slayer too.

Step 4 - Putting It All Together!

Imo this one is the hardest since Clip doesn’t have alignment tools and even if it did sometimes due to fonts and art and such being the way they are true center doesn’t actually LOOK centered to the human eye so there’s a lot of fiddling around with the text and pics to make it look as close as possible to center which starts to kinda numb your mind after a while. Lots of taking breaks and coming back to it to make sure it looked okay.

And of course typing all of the prompts out and making sure the fonts actually do look okay and everything is spelled right and spaced correctly. I have dyslexia, I double check spelling, sue me.

So once you finally think that everything looks okay you get to go upload it to different sites to make sure the icons and such don’t look blurry or get cropped weird and then inevitably go back and move everything around again or in some cases remake them entirely(the deviantART icon took like two re-makes to get right) when they do. Shit takes time, yo.

That might not seem like a lot but let me stress that I made the prompt list poster, the tumblr icon and banner, the twitter icon and banner, the deviantART club icon, and the other banners for things like updates and such. Which all and all took the better part of TWO FUCKING DAYS.

And that’s not even mentioning the time it took to find a good tumblr theme and set it up and put together the DA club and the twitter account, as well as documenting all of the prompt suggestions and making sure I picked ones that were vague enough to allow for creativity as well as represented what everyone wanted, plus deciding on/writing out all of the rules including the ones for different sites. All of which, aside from some help here and there from friends, I did by myself. For free.

I’m not complaining. I am having a blast running Delpad Week, and making all of this was frustrating but fun. I love graphic design, I wanted to do my best, hell I even got input from my godfather who is a graphic designer on some of the banners just to make sure everything was as high a quality as it could be. And you know what? I was really, really proud of that prompt list. I have been stuck at home disabled for about a year now in awful pain most of the time and only just getting back into drawing and graphic design and I was super happy with how everything came out. I wanted people to see it, I wanted to give Delpad fans a beautiful blog and prompt list to look at after everything we have been through. And not to toot my own horn but I think I delivered.

So considering all of that you can see why having someone steal the banner, deface it with horrible and triggering content was so horribly upsetting to me. Aside from how defacing something a queer woman worked hard on with words like “burning a pride flag” is abhorrent and drove me to tears and panic attacks, how would you guys feel if someone took something you worked on for two days and shat all over it for a cheap joke? Especially when the only thing you did wrong was want to give a good, cute ship some attention.

Graphic Design is an art. Taking someone’s unique design, vandalizing it, and then reposting it IS ART THEFT. Just because it took you 10 minutes to open the pic up, color over the original text and use a crappy font to add in your own prompts doesn’t mean making the thing in the first place was that easy. (And again, I’m not complaining about the time and the work. I’m having fun. I love graphic design. If I didn’t want to do this I wouldn’t have.)

But anyway, like I said, I’m trying to not let it bother me anymore. People have apologized and that’s good. But hopefully this breakdown can help you guys appreciate the work that goes into graphic design and be a bit more courteous to the people who do that work, especially for free.

#long post #fandom discourse #ducktales discourse #fandom wank

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