#god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻‍♀️ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ziracona · 3 years

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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

#ask #anonymous #fallout 4 #fo4 #god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻‍♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only #come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing #doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did #then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by #she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her #I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it #don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all #like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to #have an opinion u may not like

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jackrrabbit · 4 years

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Spoiled Rotten /// Overhaul x f!Reader (18+)

Request: What if Overhaul fucks spoiled rich reader because her dad owes the yakuza money and in exchange Kai takes the daughter as a form of payment using her as his personal stress doll whenever and wherever he wants making her into his perfect little doll

A/N: While I was writing this my roommate asked if I was okay bc cause I kept stopping to fan myself and blush lmaooooo god I’m such a brat. I did change the concept up a bit, hope that’s fine!

This is dedicated not only to the OG requester but also to everyone who read the excerpt I posted a while back and told me they couldn’t wait to see the finished product!! Love you guys ❤️

Tags/warnings: threats, dubcon/coercion, dom/sub, brat taming, degradation, exhibitionism, restraints, mentions of forced prostitution, verbal & physical harassment, kidnapping, kinda breath play?, long

The first thing you notice when you come to are voices. Multiple people talking to each other, speech overlapping in patterns you can’t make out. They’re quiet—not whispering for your sake, but quiet because you’re still half knocked-out and you can barely hear.

The second thing you notice is the pounding in your head and the lingering smell of something sweet spread over your nose and mouth.

The third thing you notice is the fact that when you try to blink your eyes open, your lashes brush against something soft and dark. You’re blindfolded…and gagged, and your hands feel like they’re cuffed behind your back. From what you can sense around you, it seems like you’re hunched in a kneeling position with your cheek flattened against the floor and your bare feet tucked under your backside.

At least you’re still in your nightgown. You can feel the frilly silk of it, a useless barrier between your skin and the cool air, and it reminds you of how you got here in the first place.

A loud noise in the night. Your father’s voice pleading. A heavy thump. The door to your bedroom banging open and a strange man holding you down to your bed…lifting a sweet-smelling rag to your mouth…telling you to “take a deeeeep breath, princess.”

“Hey, I think she’s waking up.”

An invisible hand fists itself in your hair and you whine in pain as your upper body is lifted off the floor. Once you’re properly upright, you hear squeaking, shoes against concrete, and the heat and breath and presence of someone behind you. Something rustles at the back of your head—you’re too scared to move so you stay still—and then the blindfold is being lifted off your face.

Once it’s gone, you have to blink for a moment even despite the low light of the dingy room where you’ve…apparently…been kidnapped. By the freaking yakuza. And for some reason, they’re all wearing bird-beak masks.

You close your eyes, almost wishing they hadn’t taken the blindfold off. You’d prefer to live in blissful ignorance of how decidedly unclean the floor is. How dare they let your face touch it? What happened to honor among thieves?

“Do you know why you’re here?”

Against your will, your eyes flick up to the speaker. He’s the only one sitting, and somehow that gives him a position of power among the others. The leader?

Unsettling golden eyes rest on yours, and you realize he’s waiting for your answer, so you slowly move your head from side to side.

“Didn’t know about daddy’s bad habits, huh?” This time the person speaking is behind you, the one who untied your blindfold, a thin man with lank, greasy blond hair. He’s the one who drugged me, you remember in a surge of panic, and you try to stand up away from him only for him to step on the chain that connects your handcuffs, jerking you back and pinning you—painfully—to the floor.

“Careful, Setsuno. I told you not to leave marks. Let her talk.”

“Got it, boss.” The blond—Setsuno—fumbles at the back of your head and then he’s pulling the gag out of your mouth.

You open and close your mouth a few times to stretch out the stiff muscles. “Oh. My. God. Was that polyester you just took out of my mouth? Do you have any idea how bad synthetics are for sensitive skin? I’m totally going to break out.”

A hush falls over the little room. You could hear a pin drop.

“…Are you complaining about the quality of the fabric we gagged you with?” the leader asks after a second.

“You may be yakuza, but you don’t have to act like savages,” you reply primly, aligning your knees together and sending a proud look off to the side.

“Ohh…little princess deserves better, does she?” Setsuno coos. He edges closer to rub his cheek against yours and laughs when you cringe away from him. “Boss, you shoulda seen her bedroom. All pink and frilly, looked like royalty lived there. Bet they treat you like a real princess at home, huh? No wonder your daddy’s in debt.”

“Daddy isn’t—“

“Your father…took out loans from my gang. My men came last night to collect,” the leader says, drumming his fingers over the armrest of his chair impatiently.

He’s wearing plastic gloves. Why is he wearing plastic gloves? Immediately your mind is spinning, imagining all the different gruesome possibilities of what they’re going to do to you. “That’s ridiculous. My daddy doesn’t need to borrow money—“

“Clearly he does, because it looks like he pissed it all away on his daughter.” The leader’s eyes are cold enough to make you shiver—although maybe that’s just the icy temperature of the floor soaking through your nightgown.

“He had a couple payments overdue, so we stopped by to ask nicely for him to pay up,” Setsuno says, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Didn’t find too many valuables in your house, but then we got our hands on a real treasure.”

“Don’t touch me—“

“You don’t seem to understand the position you’re in,” the leader says. “When I made my contract with your father, he understood that obligations like these are inherited. Since he can’t pay his debt, you’re going to be working it off in his place.”

Working it off? You swallow. Somehow you don’t think he’s talking about your little part-time job as a receptionist at your daddy’s company. “You can’t make me do that.”

“I’m not sure you’re getting the gist, princess,” Setsuno hums. “What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna put you in a room, and then men are gonna give us money, and then we’ll let those men fuck you. All that money’s gonna go toward paying what your daddy borrowed. Sound good?”

For the first time since you can remember, you’re shocked speechless. They’re going to…what? But you’re a quick thinker, and instead of letting these filthy, awful gangters boss you around, you raise your chin haughtily to look directly into the leader’s eyes. “I don’t think so. If Daddy’s the one who got himself in debt, you can make him whore himself out to pay it back. You can’t hold me responsible for something he’s done.”

Another brief silence, and then you hear a whistle echo out from the corner of the room (and you try not to look toward it, reminding yourself that this can only get worse if they know how scared you are). “She’s got a mouth on her, Overhaul,” someone says.

Overhaul. So the leader’s name is Overhaul. How ridiculous; it sounds like a villain’s name.

“Aww, princess,” Setsuno says, and once again his voice is too close for your comfort. “Little spoiled princess doesn’t know how to shut her mouth and suck it up when things don’t go her way? Well…you’ll learn.”

You don’t want to know what he’s talking about, although if you thought about it for more than a second it’d be obvious. You suck in a harsh breath and the cool, damp air stings against your dry throat. “You can’t just make me—“

“Ohh, I think we can. See, if your daddy’s been spending all of the Shie Hassaikai’s money on his precious daughter, don’t you think you owe a little too? Like, this dress—“ you jump as Setsuno’s hand tugs on the thin, floaty silk— “was bought with Overhaul’s money, so it belongs to him, right?”

You keep quiet, not wanting to prompt him to go further, but when his hands stroke up over your waist to grope your breasts in full view of everyone else in the room, you don’t really have to guess.

“And, y’know, your daddy’s been keeping you nice and healthy with Overhaul’s cash, making sure you grow up into such a pretty girl…” Setsuno’s voice is a purr in your ear as his hands squeeze your tits almost lovingly, then pinch your nipples through the fabric. “So hey—if you think about it, this tight little body…belongs to Overhaul too. Isn’t that right, sir?”

You squirm in place as best you can but with the metal cuffs digging into your wrists, there’s nothing you can do to get away from his touch. You’re desperate enough to shoot a terrified glance up at the leader—surely there are rules about treating an innocent girl like this, even for the yakuza—but he looks as unmoved as before. “Get her out of my sight. We’ll give her a rest for the next few days, and then…”

“No!” you yelp, too panicked to keep up the pretense of confidence. “I won’t, I can’t do that, please don’t make me—“

“Shhh. You’ll get used to it, princess. And if you don’t…” Setsuno’s hand combs though your hair and then trails down your neck, tracing the path of your spine between your shoulder blades. “…well, you won’t really have much of a choice, will you?”

And then he’s tugging on your cuffed hands, pulling you to a standing position, but you wriggle away from him and do everything you can to stay planted on the ground so they can’t take you away from here, away from the only man who is capable of stopping this. Overhaul. “Please! I’m— I can work it off another way! I’ll be useful— I’ll—“

Overhaul leans forward a fraction in his chair, and you wonder if you’ve caught his interest. “What, exactly? How do you think you can be useful to me?”

You bite your lip and wrack your brains, not knowing whether the question is rhetorical. What skills do you have that would be valuable to them? Suddenly all the knowledge you’ve gained in your short life seems so meaningless. You’re a decent receptionist (well, decent is a stretch), but if Overhaul wanted someone to answer calls for him you’re pretty sure he would’ve asked.

Why did you spend your life learning such impractical skills? The four-year weekend course you took on horseback riding jumps to mind and you want to hit your head against the wall. Why didn’t you ask your father to sponsor a class in something that would actually matter in the long run? And what would even be useful to these people? Accounting? Bookkeeping? Extortion?

There’s nothing valuable you can offer. You’ve wasted your life, and now you’re going to pay for it. Seriously, the only thing you’re actually good at is keeping your boyfriends (or, rather, the men you cycle through once a month) happy until the novelty wears off and you get bored and move on to the next lovesick target—

—wait. Keeping your boyfriends happy. That’s a skill, isn’t it?

Once, a little bit after you turned eighteen, you’d had a rather illicit conversation with one of your more sexually adventurous friends about being a sugar baby. Your friend had just secured a very generous benefactor, and you’d been so intrigued by all the designer purses and vacations to Cabo that you’d almost considered trying it for yourself. She’d even helped you set up a profile on Seeking Arrangements that listed your physical features and interests, but you’d blanched when it came time to post photos.

“But why do men even like this?” you'd asked your friend after your picture-less profile received its dozenth unsolicited offer. “Rich, successful guys shouldn’t have so much trouble finding girlfriends that they have to resort to paying for sex.”

“It’s a power trip,” she’d replied. “Most men never get the chance to have a woman who’s willing to do and be whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. You’re his ideal girlfriend, his therapist, his wife, and his stress relief all in one.”

At the time, you’d decided against it, deleting your profile and telling your friend you’d rather just keep taking advantage of your real father doting on you than have to fake orgasms for rich men in their 50’s. But back then, you’d had a choice; now that you’ve been kidnapped by a gang who wants you to get fucked by a bevy of strangers to pay off a debt you’ve never even heard of, you no longer have the privilege of a way out. Or, at least, the options are a lot less appealing than before.

You tilt your head back to Overhaul, eyeing him for the first time with real scrutiny instead of prideful disgust. Judging from what you can see of his face under the ornate bird mask (and again, what is with the freaking bird masks?), he’s fairly young, mid-twenties at the oldest. Short, sort of wavy dark hair (you’ve always had a thing for dark hair), a trim suit and tie, and those eyes. Like he can read your mind just looking at you.

He’s…handsome enough, you have to admit to yourself. But it’s not just that. There’s something pristine about him, something untouchable that commands discipline. He’s clean. You and him are probably the only clean things in this hovel of a room.

“Well? I’m waiting,” Overhaul says.

And now that you’ve got the idea in your head, it’s almost too embarrassing to meet his gaze. But you can do this; you have to do this. At least it’ll be your choice, and—you’re hoping—it’ll be better than the alternative.

“I could be yours,” you tell him, taking pride in the fact that your voice isn’t breaking.

His eyes narrow and you think god, his eyelashes are long. It’s not fair. Men never appreciate having long eyelashes. What is he thinking? Is he going to kill you for even suggesting it? But it’s too late now…you have to dig yourself a little deeper if you don’t want to go through with their original plan for debt fulfillment.

You force your muscles to relax, knowing this’ll be impossible to pull off if you’re tense and biting down on the words like they’re going to choke you. If you’re going to make him believe it, you have to make yourself believe it too. “You… This job must be hard. Even for a—a powerful man like you, it has to be stressful, right? Always looking out for the interests of the gang instead of your own…needs.”

Overhaul doesn’t move, but you’re so focused on him it would be impossible for you to miss the way a single muscle in his neck flexes. You’ve hit a nerve.

You take a cautious step toward him, trying to channel the sexually-liberated vixen you consider yourself when you’re not in your nightgown surrounded by men who could murder you with their bare hands and not miss a minute of sleep. “You’re always giving, aren’t you? Looking toward the future of the gang? Doesn’t it get frustrating when—when a pretty thing is in front of you and you don’t even get…a little taste of her?”

Oh god, you can feel the humiliated heat rushing to your cheeks. How can you be saying this? You’ve played the role of seductress plenty of times before, but never in such a risky situation. You just have to keep moving toward him and hope it feels authentic enough to convince him.

“You’ve worked hard. And…like he said, my—my body belongs to you.” Now you’re close enough to Overhaul and he hasn’t stopped you, so you lower yourself onto the floor, knees bumping softly into the cold surface. Kneeling between his legs.

Overhaul stares down at you, gaze as sharp and cold as before—and you’re sick with anxiety, so scared you can feel your hairs raising up on end—but if he wanted you to stop, he would have said something, right? So you shuffle a little closer and nuzzle your cheek over the inside of his clothed thigh like a kitten, then raise your head up to him to give him your best bedroom look, the one that says, I want you. I need you. No one but you. The look no man has ever been able to resist.

“…You deserve something to yourself, sir,” you murmur.

There’s a collective intake of breath as every person in the room simultaneously realizes what you’re offering. Overhaul’s expression doesn’t change, but once again, a tendon jumps out white under the skin of his throat and there’s a creak of latex on leather as his grip on the arm of the chair tightens.

“Damn,” Setsuno says under his breath from behind you. Someone whistles. You’re pretty sure you hear the word ‘slut’ being tossed around, but there’s reverence behind it.

“And what makes you think you’re so valuable?” Overhaul asks.

You close your eyes to ground yourself for a second. He’s interested, you know that much. You’ve never really had to convince someone to want you, but there’s a first time for everything. Besides, you only have to look at him for a second to know he does want you, which isn’t a surprise. Who wouldn’t?

“I’ll do anything you want, be anything you want,” you tell him, echoing your conversation with your friend back then. “Take out your anger on me if that’s what you’re into. When you’re tired of me, you can consider my debt paid and let me go.”

“And?” he prompts.

‘And’? And what? You’re offering yourself to him, your body and your mind—what more can he possibly ask from you? You cast your thoughts around, wondering what else you have to give him. “And…and I’ll do it willingly. You, um—you look like a man who appreciates obedience.”

And that’s it. Your last shred of pride is gone. Not only are you offering yourself up to a man to use as his personal stress doll, you’re saying you’ll be compliant every step of the way. Knowing yourself, you’re pretty sure that’s impossible, but you just need to make him believe it long enough for you to find a way out of here. You can pretend to enjoy getting fucked by a gangster a few times. You’ll live.

But you’re naive. And with the stream of thoughts pushing through your head, you never really consider one thing, one essential thing: how you look pleading up at him in that pale pink nightdress—soft, pure, immaculate against the filth of the underworld, the only clean body that Overhaul’s seen in a long time.

And you’re right. He is a man who appreciates obedience.

“Willingly…so you’d be willing to prove it.”

Your head jerks up and down in response. Yes! He’s taking the bait, now I just have to get him alone and—

“Then demonstrate.”

When a moment passes and you don’t move, Overhaul tips his head to the side, gaze still locked on you, and gestures vaguely at his lap. You blink and then shy back, shrinking under the hungry gazes of the onlookers. “You can’t mean—in front of them?”

“And here I thought you were going to be obedient.” There’s no mercy, no amusement in his voice. No hint of humanity.

So he’s serious. He wants you to give him a blowjob in front of—how many? one, two three, four—four other men!? Your first instinct is to jump back away from him and your next is to slap him for even suggesting it; you can actually hear the jingle of your cuffs as you attempt to raise your hand. You’ve gotten a little kinky before—blindfolds, vibrators, maybe a hand tied to the bedpost with a Hermès scarf once or twice, but this is a whole different level. And the way they’re all looking at you…like they’re itching to see you brought down. How absolutely disgusting.

But Overhaul’s waiting for your answer, and you know full well that you’re not going to deny him.

“O-Of course.” You lean forward over the seat of the chair so your face is just inches from his lap. “Um. My hands...?”

They’re still cuffed behind you, but it seems like they’re going to stay that way when Overhaul gives a curt shake of his head. “Use your mouth.”

Once again, you’re stunned into silence. How are you supposed to—? Without your hands? It doesn’t even seem like he’s going to undo his pants for you. It’s like he wants to humiliate you…oh, wait. As soon as the thought crosses your mind, it’s clear that’s exactly what he’s trying to do.

You give him another doe-eyed glance, bidding him to at least undo his belt, but he remains unmoved. Bastard.

After aiming another glare at him (because as obedient as you’re attempting to be, you’ve never been good at concealing your emotions) you lean deeper in and take the stiff leather of his belt between your teeth, gently easing it out of the buckle and trying to ignore the mixture of earthy and metallic tastes it leaves on your tongue. It takes a few tries, but eventually you’ve got the tail of the belt out of the buckle and you pull your head back to guide the metal down until the belt is hanging open from its loops.

A rush of accomplishment surges through you when you get it open, and then you want to slap yourself. Accomplishment? From doing this with your mouth like an animal—like a dog? You can hear laughter and mocking encouragement from the men watching, but you steel yourself and dip back in to get Overhaul’s pants undone. The button is tricky, especially with your face nudging into the hard muscle of his abdomen through his shirt, but somehow you manage to tug the fabric slit over the button and then—delicately, delicately—clamp the zipper between your teeth and peel it downward.

“Oh, she’s good,” someone says from the background. Setsuno. You look up warily, but Overhaul’s eyes haven’t moved from you.

Now that you’ve got his pants open, you’re face to face (literally) with what you’re going to have to deal with. The outline of his cock is bulging the fabric of his boxers outward, and he’s not even half erect. You snatch a look back up at him—and damn it, you have to stop doing that, because every time you look into those golden eyes and that stupid bird mask you feel like a lamb looking at a bird of prey right before it snatches you from your safe little lamb-house in the meadow and—fuck, you just have to get on with it.

So you dip down and mouth over him through the fabric, spreading the flat of your tongue over the length of his thick cock. Your mouth feels like you’ve been eating cotton (probably because they drugged you earlier) but you force yourself to salivate, letting drool spill over your tongue and dampen his boxers. When you duck and spread your lips down on the place you can feel the tip stretching out, you know the friction must feel good, because despite the lack of even so much of a deep breath from the man above you, his cock is getting harder.

You nudge your mouth over the tent between Overhaul’s legs again, letting the heat of your breath wash over him—but when he doesn’t do anything, you pull back and blink up at his face. Does he expect you to get him off through his underwear? You could, but most of your moves depend on skin-to-skin contact. There’s no way you can get his cock out with your mouth like you undid his pants, so…what? “Are—are you going to take it out?”

Overhaul brings a gloved hand to his face to rub absently at one of the straps on his mask. “…Beg,” he tells you.

Your mouth drops open and you reel back from his lap like he asked you to lick the dirt off the floor. What!? He can’t seriously expect you to—to beg him to put his dick in your mouth when you’re clearly disgusted at the whole situation. When he doesn’t give any indication of retracting the statement, you can’t help the mocking sneer that forms over your face. “Please, sir,” you spit, and a deaf man could hear the spite in your voice.

Now, that gets a reaction. Overhaul’s eyes flash and you take a certain degree of pride back at the anger you’ve clearly inspired in him. But it’s extinguished as soon as you see it, and then he’s reaching down to cup your chin, tilting your head back and rubbing his thumb over your lower lip.

“I think you can do better than that, princess,” he says, and you can hear your own mocking tone reflected back in his voice. “Unless you’d like me to give my men a turn?”

This, more than anything, scares you. He must be able to feel the way your spine goes stiff, adrenaline rushing, your fight-or-flight instinct kicking in at the prospect of what he’s threatening.

“Each of them, one by one. Between the four of them, I think they could cure that smart mouth…although they might just break you in the process,” he continues, and then his thumb is pressing into your lip, into your mouth, and you loosen your jaw to let him in. You can taste the rubbery latex of his gloves and the other men mutter agreement, encouraging their leader to turn you over to them, and you want to cry.

But you hold the tears back. “Please, sir! Please, please may I s-suck your cock sir? Please!” Your voice is more terrified than obedient, but that’s probably what he’s into anyway. When he doesn’t say anything, you babble on, unwilling to let yourself get gangbanged by a group of men who could probably wreck your pussy in a single round. “Please, please, Mr.—Mr. Overhaul, um, boss? M-Master?”

“Sir will do just fine,” Overhaul says, apparently satisfied, and he pulls his hand away from your face to free his cock from his boxers.

You let out a hot sigh of relief and angle yourself back toward his lap so you can zero in on his cock (and, hopefully, do a little to block out how sickeningly degrading all of this is: how easy it is for him to threaten you; how he has all the power and you have none; how the men around you are goading you, taunting you and calling you things that should get their mouths washed out with soap). You can focus on this, and this, at least, you’re good at. You’ve always been good with your mouth.

It’s a nice dick, too, you have to admit to yourself as you stare at it. Perfect length, girth, and a thick, cut head that you know just by looking that you’re going to have to stretch your jaw to get around. All his hair is neatly trimmed and groomed, and he even smells good, clean and fresh like soap. You’ve never been in front of a dick that didn’t smell like day-old ball sweat, so this is a first. It’s got a nice upward curve, too, and there’s a bead of pearly precum oozing out of the tip. The kind of cock that’s made for penetrative orgasms—

No. Fuck. You cannot be thinking this. You cannot allow yourself to lust after a gang leader who thinks of you as little more than an interactive sex doll. A tingle of blood rushes to your cheeks as you feel wetness pool in your panties and you adjust your stance, shuffling your thighs apart under the pretense of getting closer and hoping Overhaul doesn’t notice.

If he notices, he does the merciful thing and keeps quiet (which makes you think he has no idea you’re feeling the way you’re feeling, because he’s probably never chosen to do the merciful thing in his life). He does, however, shift one of his knees farther apart to accommodate you as you crawl close enough to him to get your head all the way between his legs.

So now you’re staring up at that unfairly pretty cock and wondering how the fuck this is supposed to start, but—best just get on with it. Pretend it’s not him, pretend it’s…no, wait, pretend it is him, it is Overhaul, the same bastard who’s looking down at you like you’re trash, except pretend you’re in control. Because no matter how many orders he gives, once you’ve got his cock in his mouth he’ll have to be the weak one. Right?

Lightly, slowly, you trace the tip of your tongue in a wet path up the underside of his cock, sliding up from the hilt to caress every bulging vein with all the delicacy and accuracy of a surgeon. When you reach the tip, you flatten your tongue to curve it around that bulbous head and then slip it off, the suction providing a wet smacking sound as your skin leaves his.

The breath of his barely-heavier exhale ruffles your hair and you relish the knowledge that he’s getting impatient. Yes. The bastard can wait.

You kiss the tip of his cock, barely moving your lips around the slit, only enough to let your tongue flick out against the precum and gather the bitter liquid up in your mouth. And then—right when he’s getting annoyed, when you can tell by the tension in his body that he’s five seconds away from shoving your head down to fuck your face—you duck closer, relax your throat, and swallow.

Like a fucking python. Or so you’ve been told.

The exhale that escapes him isn’t light this time. You can almost hear the barest hint of a groan under his breath, but you’re more focused on holding down your gag reflex as you let that heavy cock hit the back of your throat. Once he’s all the way down (or at least as far as you can get him), you rock yourself back an inch and then take him deeper, forcing yourself to hold still so he can feel the walls of your throat convulse around him, sucking him in, dry-gagging on the mass that’s filling you up.

“Fuuuuck,” you hear someone whine, and it’s not even Overhaul. It’s one of the men watching, and you feel a perverse mixture of hatred and arrogance rise up in you.

Overhaul’s cock is too big for you to properly moan around it, but you give it a go anyway so he can feel the vibration of your voice through his skin. You’re rewarded with a tangible twitch with it sitting on your tongue, and—oh—your mouth is watering out of where you’re clenching down on him at the back of your throat.

Spittle slips out over your lower lip and onto your chin, but you ignore it in favor of jerking your head up and down in fractional strokes, trying your absolute best to get yourself down to his base but knowing that he probably doesn’t give a shit anyway, not with how good your throat feels around what you’re capable of stuffing in.

What were you saying about ‘valuable’, sir? you think, and then you pull your head off his cock, so slow it’s almost cruel, sucking your cheeks in and hollowing out so those wet walls are rubbing up on every millimeter of his skin. When you reach the tip, you savor it, letting your tongue do the dirty work and looking up at him through your lash extensions before you release him with a nasty wet pop.

“Holy fuck, can I have her next?” one of the other men says, but you and Overhaul are too focused on each other to even look and see who’s talking.

His gaze is trained firmly down at you, and—no way, damn it—he looks bored, like he could be waiting in line at the DMV instead of getting sucked off by you, a girl who’s been complimented by every man she’s ever been with (including her first) on her bj technique. You know he’s feeling it—he can fake calm, but he can’t fake the way his cock’s throbbing under your tongue as you lick up the shaft. Still, now that you’ve got it in your head that Overhaul’s not going to make a sound, all you can think about is forcing him to moan. Let him look weak in front of all his little lackeys.

With renewed vigor, you lap up the length of Overhaul’s cock in sloppy dabs, leaving strings of saliva dripping off your mouth and his cock only to slurp them up, audibly, wiggling your tongue over the tip when you reach it. And that, that gets him, because you feel more than see the buck of his hips into your face as he hisses out a curse.

And—oh dear, maybe you shouldn’t have done that—because the next thing you feel is Overhaul looming forward over you, hand gripping the back of your head, and is he going to force you down? You hate that—so you take the initiative, tilting forward to take him into your mouth again, head bobbing up and down so quickly that your hair is falling all over your face, but it’s okay, because he’s got you, he’s got you, got his hands combed through your hair holding it out of your face, pulling so lightly it barely even hurts, but it does hurt, and he’s guiding you up and down on his cock and it’s hitting the back of your throat every time, and—and it hurts.

You really shouldn’t have done that.

“Take it deeper,” Overhaul instructs, almost encouraging, although you’re not given the option to pull off because he’s holding you down, pushing you firmly toward the base of his cock. You sputter around it, gagging, and you’re almost fucking choking, and he won’t let you up.

God, you’re not—not breathing, you can feel your throat choking down on him—“breathe through your nose,” he says, and this man, this villain has no idea what he’s fucking talking about, because you’re trying, eyes stinging and then you can feel tears down your cheeks. You try to squirm back on your knees, but somehow the combined force of every muscle in your body is outmatched by his single hand on the back of your head—and—and—you squeeze your eyes shut, relax, open your throat as much as you can and—

Overhaul forces your mouth down to the hilt.

Fuck, is he going to keep you there? You can’t, you can’t—if you could move, you’d be shaking your head and begging him to let you stop and as it is you’re whimpering around his cock. Your throat is making gagging noises and you’re crying, actually crying, actually fucking crying on a man’s dick. So this is what it feels like to be used?

“Good.” There’s something lower and darker in Overhaul’s voice, a husky undertone from the growl he’s trying to suppress. “Hold still…remember, you asked for this.”

You did. You asked for it. Begged for it. Pleaded.

“Want me to forgive your father’s debt…? You’re going to have to earn it.” He pulls out an inch just to ram himself back in. You make a weak attempt to move your tongue around his shaft and you can feel the shudder all the way through him, his cock twitching where it’s locked in your throat. “Mm…good girl. Just a little—little longer—“

His fingers are tightening in your hair, curling around the strands and tugging instead of just applying pressure to your head. He’s close, you think, and then you struggle back, not wanting him to cum down your throat, what if you choke on it? Like, really choke? You don’t want it, don’t want his cum in your stomach, but then he sighs and tells you again that you’re a good girl, and ohfuckohfuck you must be so scared you’re desperate for praise because you feel heat rush into your cheeks and your cunt when he says it and you try to move your tongue like you did earlier and his hips jerk forward and—he cums. In your mouth.

It’s salty, you think. The next thing you think is that you want to gag, because you’ve never had cum in your mouth before. For all your sexual experimentation, you’ve never let a man cum down your throat like this, always telling them it shoot it on your tits or whatever because you are not a person who should have semen in her mouth, much less ingest it.

But right now, with Overhaul lazily dragging your head up and down for a last couple pumps on his softening dick, your choice isn’t spit or swallow. It’s swallow or choke.

Hot. Thick. The texture is slimy, so viscous you can feel it going down your throat in strings. Part of you wants to throw up. It’s repulsive. Filthy. You hate this.

Part of you has to shift your position again so you don’t have to feel your own wetness slicking up the insides of your thighs.

How. Is. This. Possible. You may have just had to swallow your pride (and not just that), but what about your dignity? You’re a good person…okay, well, even if you’re not a ‘good person’ per se, you don’t hurt anyone with your selfishness. You don’t deserve to be kept as a pet by a sadistic bastard who gets off on watching you almost pass out on his cock, and you certainly don’t deserve the humiliation of finding that you’re turned on by it.

And yet. Here you are. Still held securely in place until Overhaul slides you off him. As soon as your mouth is free you suck in a dizzyingly deep breath, but even that is too much for your battered throat and the breath turns into a cough; you instinctively fold down away from Overhaul so the mixed saliva and cum you’re hacking out spatters in cloudy white flecks across the floor instead of on his clothing.

“Stop that,” Overhaul scolds, hauling you back up by your hair and forcing your mouth closed with a hand on your jaw. “If you make a mess, you’ll be cleaning it up.”

Considering what he just made you do to him, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’s implying you’ll have to lick it off the floor. You clench your jaw, holding back the convulsions of your throat as best you can, and hope he doesn’t press the issue.

Now that you’ve got your coughing under control, you can start to sense things that you had been tuning out before: the men hooting and wolf-whistling and applauding your performance, the traitorously persistent throb of your clit pulsing under your panties, and Overhaul’s hand releasing your chin to pet down your neck. “Now. What do you say when someone gives you a meal?”

Just you wait, bastard. I’m going to tie you to your bed and set fire to it. But you’ve got the sense that that answer won’t go over well, so you take a deep breath and look up at him again, meeting those piercing gold eyes with your own. “Thank you, sir,” you say in a soft whisper because it’s all your abused throat can manage.

“That’s right.” His hands feel colder than the concrete under your legs as he spreads his hand down your neck, only to toy with one of the lacy pink straps of your nightdress. “Stand up.”

You stand shakily, too cowed to even consider stepping back from him. Without warning (much less permission), Overhaul lifts the hem of your stupidly short dress up past your thighs, exposing your panties and lower belly to view.

“Hold this in your mouth,” he says, and after only a few seconds of hesitation you open up and bite down on the fabric so you’re effectively holding up the skirt for him. Overhaul skims gloved hands down the sides of your hips and comes to a rest when he reaches your panties—and why did you have to wear these today? Shiny red satin in the front; the back is just flowers worked in crimson lace. You know exactly how good you look in these panties, and judging by the things Overhaul’s men are saying, they’re more than appreciative of the view.

But Overhaul ignores them in favor of hooking his fingers under the elastic and pulling the panties down until they’re resting stretched between your upper thighs. You don’t have to see them to know there’s a string of slick connecting the lips of your cunt to the fabric, betraying in full technicolor detail how turned on you’ve gotten just from sucking him off. He gazes down at your pussy and then up to you as if waiting for you to admit it, but you stay silent.

“Well, well. What a nicely-trained slut I’ve found myself.” He gracelessly pulls the panties the rest of the way down your legs and lets them fall to the ground. “Do you always get this wet when you let your boyfriends fuck that smart mouth?”

It takes you a second to comprehend that he’s expecting an answer. “N-No, sir,” you reply, voice muffled by the fabric you’re still holding between your teeth.

“I suppose I can’t leave you like this, not after you took me so nicely.”

Does he mean he’s going to get you off? No freaking way. You drop the hem of your dress, let it flutter down over your thighs, try to scramble back, but his hand on your waist keeps you from moving. “I— It’s okay, I don’t need—“

“No, I think you do. I think I’m going to reward my pet for a job well done.” He leans back, eyeing you without sympathy. “I’d have you touch yourself, but—“

The mere possibility that he might remove the handcuffs has you straining against them again, and the sound of metal against metal rings out from behind you.

“—but, I think it’s best to keep the cuffs on for a few days…until you’ve settled down.”

Days? He can’t leave you in chains for days, helpless and powerless, so easy to take advantage of. “You can’t,” you whimper, and even though you mean for it to be a decisive statement, with your throat ravaged and hoarse it’s downright pathetic. Overhaul doesn’t even bother reprimanding you for talking back.

“My men have been patient,” he muses, and an enthusiastic wave of agreement wells up from the others. “Any of them would be happy to do it.”

You may have been through a lot in the past hour alone, but there is no way you’re going to let those rowdy criminals have their way with you. You send a nervous glance around the room and as predicted, not a single one of them looks like they have the slightest shred of control over themselves.

None of them…except Overhaul.

Still eased back in his chair, he looks just as relaxed and unaffected as he did when he was explaining your father’s debts to you. But there’s something flickering in his eyes, something he isn’t going to say to you, isn’t going to say out loud. A challenge.

Maybe, once again, he’s waiting for you to ask for it yourself. And if it’s a choice between him and one of the grimy ruffians who’ve been looking at you like dogs look at meat, you know what you’d prefer. Well—really, you’d prefer option C: none of the above (your current state might be uncomfortable, but you’re not so wanton that you’d rather cum in front of strangers than keep your legs together). Unfortunately, you’re starting to come to terms with the fact that ‘no’ is no longer an option.

Overhaul’s stare flicks from you to an unseen figure behind you, and you can tell he’s about to summon one of them over so you force yourself to move, lurching forward and climbing into his lap to straddle one of his thighs with all the grace you’re capable of. You feel the stir in the air when he inhales sharply, surprised, and his masked face is so close to your neck that you wonder if he can smell the lotion you put on before you went to bed last night.

It’s one of your favorite scents: vanilla, lilac, orange blossoms. You bought it because it smelled pure.

“Please, sir, I don’t want them,” you breathe next to his ear, injecting every ounce of sexual frustration you’re feeling into the needy tones of your voice. “I’m yours. I belong to you, just you. No one else—please, sir…Overhaul.”

He’s quiet for a long, tense moment, and you think he’s going to hit you, or maybe even kill you for your disobedience. Push you off his lap at least. But just when you’re teetering on the edge of jumping back from him and begging for forgiveness for talking out of turn, you feel it—a low rumble of laughter from deep in his chest.

Big, cold hands wrap around the sides of your ribcage under your breasts and his fingernails dig into you through the layers of latex and fabric. He tilts forward, forcing you to arch away and all you can think about is how horribly weak you are compared to him. Are you trembling? Will he be angry if you feels how afraid you are?

“You know, I guess I’ll keep you after all,” he hums, stroking his fingers through your hair and down your neck. “How does that sound, princess? I think you’d like that very much, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, sir.” The response comes all too easily, even if the words taste bitter in your mouth. You’ve never said the word ‘sir’ so much in your life…but as he repositions you on his lap and slides a single hand up the inside of your thigh under your dress, you bite your lip and decide to hold back your protest.

If you’re going to have to learn manners, you’d better do it sooner rather than later. Something tells you Overhaul’s not going to accept any less than your best behavior if you want to pay off your debt.

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia imagines #mha x reader #mha imagines #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero fanfic #smut #tw dubcon

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pigstepmp3-moved · 3 years

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holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡ JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years

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"I don't really feel like I can win this fight, but man I don't feel like losing either!

God you're such a scumbag." (Hanta Sero, My Hero Academia.)

We've officially reached me in community college! The summer before I started classes was the summer that I started getting back into anime. It was due to a handful of shows that I'll spend the next week focusing on but one of the first shows that I became a proud Otaku for was My Hero Academia. A series about young teens training to be superheroes at a high school that was filled with all different sorts of powers as far as the eye could see. All the characters are different and unique as well as having these amazing and outspoken personalities. My first OG favorite is still the main comfort character that I have from the show Hanta Sero.

Where do I even start with talking about this absolute 10/10 goofball baby? He was one of those characters that I just instantly loved more than anything. His quirk is something super creative and inventive. He's basically the human version of a tape dispenser. He can swing around on his tape and use it to gather up people either capturing them or catching them in one of my favorite moments of his when he catches Bakugou from the sky.

To me, Sero is just the absolute baby of this character cast. He's one of those characters that just instantly drew me in and it's hard for me to explain why really other than that he as cute and funny. His sense of humor isn't one that's used a whole lot but his light teasing never fails to make me laugh. It's something that compelled me to his small moments. I loved getting to see his fight against Todoroki and their growing small friendship. Whenever I see them on screen together my heart always warms. Hearing his nickname for Todoroki in the dub being "Roki" instantly my heart positively melted.

Growing up one of my best friend's favorite superheroes was always Spiderman and that's who Sero is to me, spider-man with my favorite he's this universe's answer to Spider-Man. Both of them are comedic, free spirited, overly friendly, slightly goofy but at the same time they just *care* so much about their friends and the people in their lives. Sero would do absolutely anything for their friends. I fell deeply in love with my favorite characters. He was so adorable and kind towards his friends and I could instantly sympathize with him.

He's also a lot more mature than his other classmates. I had to include the God you're such a scumbag moment because honestly one of my favorite little running jokes happens when he ties up Mineta. It doesn't happen very often but whenever it does it brings a smile to my face. I love whenever it does happen. But that doesn't mean that he's not the jokester type either. He's confident as well and one of his favorite fan moments is when he does go up against Todoroki for the final battle in the sports festival.

Voice acting wise, Hanta is voiced by one of my favorite underrated men of anime, Christopher Bevins. So I actually have a really embarrassing story about him. When I was 17 almost 18 I went back to my local anime con for the first time in five years. His line was relatively short and I made bracelets prior to getting there. His was a Japan one themed to Hetalia (which he loved by the way.) However, one thing that I neglected to think about was how nervous I would be. When I get nervous most of the time my palms sweat way more than usual. He asked me to tie the bracelet around his wrist and my hand just kept on slipping. I did take one of my favorite now running jokes with my parents from this encounter he told me that sometimes he wished he had a third hand. I told him I'd probably be just as clumsy with that one. In my final moments I realized that I hadn't told him hardly anything. My brain had needed a hard reboot. It all just came out of me in a word vomit. It's definitely a moment that I want a hard redo of so that I can actually have an intelligent conversation with him. He's the director of one of my favorite romantic comedy anime's Princess Jellyfish as well as the voice of a recent favorite of mine, Narsus in The Heroic Legend Of Arslan. He's not a voice actor that I often hear much work from but whenever I do it's always top tier work.

Hanta Sero, to me is about fun. He's about having the time of his life with his friends and trying to become the best hero. He's about relaxing in his hammock reading manga at the end of a long day cramming for classes one of my favorite HCs. He's about video game marathons with Denki and Kiri after every exam. Sero is just one of those comfort characters that I'd want to chill with. He's an extremely laid-back type of guy and that was what initially drew me into his orbit. That's the simplest way that I can put this is that he's immensely laidback and sometimes that's what I need after a long day of people interaction.

#hanta sero #my hero academia #comfort characters #favorite characters #day 23: My Hero Academia #embarrassing voice actor meeting stories

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jngles · 3 years

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Thoughts You Definitely All Asked For on ‘The Mandalorian’ Season 2 Finale!!

These are in chronological order for the show.

One of my biggest fears about them reintroducing Boba Fett was that by removing some of his mystery, they would make him less cool. Thank god that has not been the case. He’s still an aloof and nasty piece of work but with dimensions added.

We all know the Empire is most often a metaphor for America right? At least when it’s not being Nazi Germany? The Imperial pilot talking about destroying an entire planet (of peaceful weaponless civilians no less) to stop terrorism hits a little too close to home of the nuclear bombs the US has dropped and the endless destruction of the Middle East in the “war against terror.” And of course we frame all our wars in similar language like “our troops died to keep our country safe,” which hasn’t really been true since WWII.

I do think it’s worth noting that this is the first time SW has had someone acknowledge the human losses of the Death Star blasts. Usually it’s framed as a loss in construction time, strategical advantage, and power. The Empire proved time and time again that the lives of its soldiers were utterly expendable, which always made me question why people remained loyal outside of fear. Through this pilot’s phrasing, you can see the propaganda Imperial superiors used to twist the truth to their followers, always blaming those deaths on Rebel aggression instead of prideful Imperial neglect (I.e. not abandoning ship when there was still time) or even direct Imperial aggression like Operation Cinder where they fired on thousands of their own (discussed in S2E7.)

You can’t tell me Din wasn’t into it when Cara shot that asshole pilot. That cold faced revenge shot? 100% Mandalorian style, and also very very hot.

I appreciate that it was a pretty equal match between Boba and Koska Reeves. So much of Boba’s advantage comes from his suit, but since she also has one, it’s a battle of wits on how to use it, and they even out. This both maintains his legendary badassery and also that of highly trained Mandalorian warriors, and hopefully avoids asshole chauvinist SW fans on the internet complaining abujt “pandering to feminism” (fuck off @ all of them, especially since Mercedes Vernado who plays Reeves is a WWE champ and could kick all of your asses.)

Din point blank asked how many Death Troopers there are and Dr. Pershing never answered, and that annoys me.

Why is no one suspicious why Dr. Pershing is being so helpful and revealing so much information? He totally did not have to tell them about the Dark Troopers or any of the specifics of locations on the ship. He’s still with the empire post-fall, implying he’s a loyalist, so... wtf on his part (since no tricks come of it), and “be smarter” on the part of everyone else. Unless he’s been captive as a clone engineer all this time. But couldn’t he have made his escape back in Season 1 when Din killed everyone at that lab to get the kid back?

Bo Katan really could’ve just told them how the retrieval of the dark saber needs to work in the flight before the mission instead of being vague about “he belongs to me.”

Boba Fett’s usage of “Princess” and “don’t worry about me” are a good throwback to Han Solo and the culture they both grew up in. You can never quite tell if it’s based in misogyny or resentment for upper classes, but both of them seem to use it as a shield for begrudging respect they hold for a woman they think is brave but following a fool’s errand (the Rebellion and retaking Mandalore).

The Comms Officer (Katy O’Brian) assisting Moff Gideon will forever and always look like Ilana Glazer to me, and then I get swept up imagining what would happen if the Broad City cast accidentally got transported to Star Wars.

The launch tube sequence has some amazing cinematography.

The second I saw Boba was cut off from the pack, I really thought they were going to kill him again and make his return bittersweet. Glad they didn’t.

God this team of Bo Katan, Koska Reeves, Fennec Shand, and Cara Dune is SO BADASS. I’m just obsessed with all these characters and their various motivations to get shit done. I honestly didn’t even think about the fact it’s all women until my re-watch, showing that the writers made it feel natural, the way women deserve to have their representation done. You can bet I am SO EXCITED for my future daughter and the wealth of possibilities she’s going to have of characters to play pretend as, action figures she can relate to, Halloween costumes to wear, etc. It’s so validating that we’ve gone from only Princess Leia as a female main character to all these women + Rey, Jyn Erso, Ahsoka, etc. etc.

Can’t wait for the trap remix of the Dark Trooper activation noises. (And the transition from that to the minimalist flute theme is perfect.)

The spy movie version of the main theme music is sick.

The Dark Trooper droid faces have a lot of similarity to Darth Vader’s mask. That callback is especially apparent when the one is literally lit from the inside with fire. He was already a martyr/legend to the Imperial remnants, Kylo Ren didn’t start the trend of ignoring his redemption.

Cara’s “excuse me” right before shooting up Stormtroopers is hilarious. Literally “can’t talk rn, doing hot girl shit and murdering space Nazis.”

Finally an Imperial ship got some frickin security cameras. Truly- the amount of times people just wander down hallways they’re not supposed to be in with no one being able to find them throughout the course of Star Wars is ridiculous when you think about the degree of surveillance our real life society carries out. I also love that this means The Mandalorian characters have also seen The Mandalorian.

The storytelling does such a service to Pedro Pascal and his already heroic efforts to portray emotion through a helmet. For example: Din easily could’ve killed the one stormtrooper outside Grogu’s cell much more efficiently, but instead, to show his absolute rage, they wrote in Din choking him out with a spear.

Moff Gideon would have been the BIGGEST pain in the ass in philosophy class. “Assume I know everything” my ass. I want to hear about his backstory (he would’ve been “coming of age” at the time of the Clone Wars) mostly just to hear about him getting bullied at school.

Smart move honestly, to try to tempt Din with the Mandalorian throne, given the Mandalorian power struggles of the past. Proud of our boy for keeping his priorities straight.

So has the blood from Grogu been transferred out of the ship and back to the remnant empire already, or do they have to find a new “donor” to help with building Snoke and Palpatine’s clones? Will they continue to go after him with Luke?

Lmao Din being so annoyed by Bo Katan being stringent about the tradition of winning the Dark Saber through combat is HILARIOUS, coming from a man who up until like a day ago hadn’t shown his face to a living being in decades.

The dark troopers can punch in blast doors but NOT Din’s helmet?? That’s a wild testament to beskar. Somehow that’s the comparison that sticks out to me, more even than its resistance to lightsabers.

This show works because of the cynicism of so many characters adding contrast to the moments of heart. Cara Dune is not a “fan” the way Rey was (for the record I love Rey, don’t come at her, it’s just different). Cara doesn’t see an X-Wing and go OMG THE REBELLION I LOVE THEM. She’s been through too much to believe in the magic saviourism of the “good guys,” and is instead thinking strategically when she, the one Rebel present, brushes off the usefulness of “one X-Wing.” The only positive things she seems to feel in battle situations are moments of relief and brief satisfaction in hurting the empire, with a dark knowledge that it will never make up for the hurt they did to her.

How do you keep a cloak hood on while fighting? Both from a technical standpoint (my hats fall off without me even having to move- is he expending force energy just to keep it on and look cool lol?) and also because idk, maybe it’s just me, but peripheral vision is helpful when surrounded by killer robots on a thin bridge above oblivion. I know his first lesson was to “see” through the force, but every resource helps, right?

Now that she has the ship, I wonder if Bo Katan can reprogram any salvageable Dark Troopers to help with retaking Mandalore?

There is nothing like seeing Luke’s fighting style, with its efficient choppiness and twinge of darkness. I always wonder how much is natural and how much is influenced by his first fights with Vader (that Skywalker diva flair). I love how they’ve advanced his technique but also kept him extremely “grey” here- like to straight up COMBUST a Dark Trooper takes some violent energy lol.

How tf is Moff Gideon alive after threatening Grogu’s life twice directly? That’s a wild testament to Din’s regard for Cara.

I love how seeing Luke slice through a bunch of murder droids like butter probably was a huge point in his favor for Din actually letting Grogu go with him. Like he will only send his child to boarding preschool if he knows the teacher will be a certified killing machine.

Oh my god they finally brought in some OG Star Wars theme music for Luke to take his hood off to 😭 It felt weird seeing him fight to different music, so the emotional payoff is huge when his themes come back for the face reveal.

Whoever added the digital young Mark Hamill face NAILED those classic shining Luke eyes and the earnest eyebrow lift.

Whoever shines the glass of Baby Yoda’s lil puppet eyeballs each day deserves a raise. The light caught in those babies is devastating.

Din is shaking as he takes off his helmet. This is the most enormous show of love he could give him, and possibly the last he’ll be able to for a long time. He only just got Grogu back and is desperate for a moment of real connection before letting him go once again.

This is the first time anyone has touched Din’s face since... likely his parents as a child.

Whoever wrote this scene clearly actually has kids. Anyone who’s ever had to leave a young child even just to go out for a bit or to drop them off somewhere knows that heartbreak of seeing them look in your eyes and hold on to your leg, trying to keep you with them. Especially when they can sense your mutual separation anxiety. The one thing that starts to make them feel better is something fun like a new toy or friend who can be their guide in the new environment, and R2’s friendly introduction is exactly that (since digital Luke isn’t being particularly emotive or child friendly... I hope that’s just because he’s reaching into Grogu’s mind while also keeping an eye on the multiple people with guns trained on him, not because he’s going to be totally unfeeling raising this kid.)

I love that Grogu and R2 are immediately buddies in contrast to Episode 5 when R2 was like “fuck this guy” @ Yoda stealing food and hitting him with a walking stick lol. I would imagine Luke must be reminded of that first introduction too and entertained by this display of playfulness in a *positive* light between R2 and mini-Yoda.

I need to know if Luke and Ahsoka have met- it is KILLING ME.

Does this mean Grogu will get killed by Kylo Ren when he fucks up Luke’s academy??? I will reincarnate Ben just to kill him again if that’s the case.

How does Luke not even fully SMILE at Grogu?? An adorable little baby version of his beloved master Yoda, and you’re telling me he doesn’t have the same heart stopping gasp we all did when we first saw him?? Maybe he did when they first connected through the force. He has a bit of bemusement on his face, and also wonder in his eyes, but I want a grin of recognition and welcome, dammit.

I really wish Luke had somehow acknowledged Cara Dune. Everyone else seems to see the tear drop Rebel sign and know it means Alderaan. He could’ve been like yo I have a badass warrior sister from your planet that you should meet. Or just “thank you for your service.” (I know this actually wouldn’t have been cinematically good but my heart wants it.)

Luke didn’t tell Din his name?? Or ask for any details about the kid and his care?? I could literally never let my kid go with someone, regardless of how worthy, and not be like, “Excuse me sir who are you and where tf are you taking my tiny beloved green goblin in case I need to find him? Here is my contact info. He likes to eat frogs and eggs, and he can have macarons as a treat. He’s 50 years old and his favorite toy is still a ball. Bedtime is 8pm and he’s allergic to dairy.”

Another reason I wish Luke had identified himself would be to see the mishmash of reactions that would ensue. Cara would be like DAMN IT’S THAT GUY WHO BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR AND KILLED THE EMPEROR, ACT COOL (and she would indeed act cool). Fennec would be like ugh it’s that guy who helped kill my best paying client Jabba the Hutt and then fucked over my boss Boba, I helped save the kid for THIS? And I would LOVE to know how Bo Katan feels about him, assuming she’s heard of him, and especially if she knows he’s Anakin Skywalker’s son. That confusion is probably the reason WHY the writers didn’t have him reveal himself- they didn’t want to break the emotion of the scene.

Let‘s all be real I’m just being needy about wanting things from Luke because of what he meant to me as a kid and my resulting innate need to have more canon of him, whatever it is, whenever I can get it. Especially in this form that’s so similar to ROTJ, a movie I watched on endless repeat. Even getting this was incredible though. Who else could we trust this lil heart-stealing green bean with so fully? Yet who would be so arrogant as to try to train a baby yodling (see: Ahsoka’s wise refusal)?

R2 is reckless as hell lmao. Not that we don’t already know that, but for him to just head on in, effectively abandoning Luke’s ship (how can they know if there are more troopers or not who might blow it up?) and also putting himself in the path of the ridiculously deadly Dark Troopers is NUTS. I’m usually on his side but he absolutely deserves a scolding by C3PO for this one.

I wonder if Grogu has any memories of R2 or vice versa since they did occupy the Jedi Temple at the same time. Can Grogu understand droids? They could swap stories about mutual acquaintances.

Does Din pretty much have to go with Bo Katan now since a) he’s shown his face and may not be able to go back to the Watch, and b) because he has the darksaber and has to figure out how to get it back to her without dying?

How in the hell did Bib Fortuna (whose chins age was not kind to) go from being butler to being boss? Were all the henchmen just like, “Fuck yeah, no Hutt parents no rules, let’s do what we want!!” And then they’ve spent the last ten years living off of whatever money they could salvage from Jabba’s non-banked wealth? Why has no one challenged them for that prime real estate and loot? I would love to hear that story.

Fennec Shand says “respect sex workers” so you better fuckin’ do it.

Idk dude Bib Fortuna really was a good butler, and he seemed pretty willing to comply with whoever’s in power. Did he screw Boba over in his attempt to return from the dead and earn that killing shot somehow? Or was this to make sure there was no one left who would have a claim to loyalty? Or maybe Boba just really wanted to sit in that chair.

Does “The Book of Boba Fett” mean we’re not on Din Djarin’s story anymore? Or is it a new show? I would much prefer the latter. I want to see Din help retake Mandalore or at least get a hug.

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lilydalexf · 3 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sarah Ellen Parsons

Sarah Ellen Parsons has 18 X-Files stories at Gossamer and 19 at AO3. If you want high quality fic with interesting characters, go read her stories. Some of my favorites of her fics are The Crouching Thing and My Constant Touchstone Who Makes Me A Whole Person (which are two very different stories!). Big thanks to Sarah Ellen for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

With today's binge-watching culture, I'm not at all surprised. You can watch a bunch of eps and then seek out fic that is where you are in the series.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I took away a writer's group Yes, Virginia, that is still together. Mostly as friends, but whenever I write something, or someone else writes something, it's the first place we all run for machete beta. I have betad SO MANY novels.

We have a number of folks who are published writers since then and our time in X-Files fic brought us lifelong friendships IRL and made us all better at our craft. The majority of those folks were better writers than I am. And I make my living as a writer in my day-job.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I belonged to a couple of the largest lists and posted there and bitched about the show on usenet with everyone else. We had our own Yahoo group for beta. We all had crappy GeoCities websites that we programmed the HTML for ourselves and hooked through various fandom link circles to get traffic to our stories. But the main method of distribution was the lists.

Fun fact, I found a free page counter thing that I used at work one time through fandom. So fandom pays off in skillz.

Even without social media, we managed to get our stories in front of readers who would enjoy them. Where there's a will, there's always someone ready to step up and find a way.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Again, I have lifelong friends IRL that I got solely from fanfiction. That's the best takeaway.

Fandom disappointed me because it, like everything else, is ruined by people's egos, backstabbing, and petty people who get in positions of power and then use those positions to punch down or dictate. I was young when I was writing X-Files and I still had hope that people would rise to their better natures, so I got involved in various futile efforts to try to make people behave the way I wanted them to behave, I guess. I did a lot of public bitching that didn't serve me or my friends well. I now put that effort into politics, where it does actual good.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

X-files was made for me. It combined science fiction, mystery, horror. I love all of those genres. Plus there was Scully. No matter how sexist that writer's room was, Scully was awesome. But you kept seeing bad writing. Even in the heyday seasons, like Season 3, there were really terrible eps that made you want to fix things.

I'm a lifelong speculative fiction fan and a published feminist science fiction author. I actually was published before I fell down the fic hole. I got involved in fanfic due to getting my fantasy novel turned down from every major publisher for being "too dark". And I needed to get readers to see my stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't terrible at writing. I got a ton of feedback and it was like market research to see what people wanted to read.

My time in fanfiction made me 100% a better writer than I was.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I went to the X-Files Expo to see if I could make contact with someone from Harper Collins because the tie-in novels sucked so hard. I got rejected with my pitch as I didn't have a literary agent.

Around that time, a pal who I watched X-Files with IRL was looking for a free X-files wallpaper for her work computer when she found the website where fans in Pennsylvania had fic archived. She read some and wrote to me - "you need to see this, and you can do better." So I started reading and was.... I probably CAN do better. So I wrote The Batman Plot. And made two friends I'm still friends with with that one story.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Nonexistent. I couldn't even watch the latest season and I saw only 2 of season one of whatever that was before I gave up. I have never watched the second movie.

X-files is my first fandom bad ex-husband. I loved it SO MUCH, but it betrayed me.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a while, but I didn't end up publishing anything in it. All my stories were novel-length and I was writing so much for work, I never completed anything. I called Snape/Lily when Prisoner of Azkaban was published and got Jossed by Rowling in one of my big ideas. (This is bad fandom ex-husband 2. JKR will never get a dime of money from me again because of her hateful stance on transfolk. I have RL friends who are trans and NO.)

I wrote fic in Supernatural. It was the obvious next thing after X-Files. However, the misogyny and bringing in all the Angel/Devil Christofascist stuff lost me. The ep where they declared all other religions other than Christianity as invalid and killed a Hindu god made me stop watching for good. I know enough Christofascists IRL that I can't tolerate it in my fiction. (Bad fandom ex-husband 3)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This list is far too long to actually make. But characters I spent time writing about include: Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Co. (I wrote three unpublished Star Trek novels before I found online fandom). King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay, Sherlock Holmes (I wrote a Sherlock Holmes play after seeing "Crucifer of Blood" and entered it in a national competition, where I got very nice comments back.), Mulder, Scully and Krycek, Rowling's Hermione and Snape (like him or not, its masterful characterization), Dean and Sam Winchester, John Winchester and Bobby Singer. I wrote one comedy story starring Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A couple of Roswell stories under a different name. Catwoman and Batman. I have some unpublished Avengers fanfic lying around as I'm an OG Marvel fan with a massive comic collection.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I was on a business trip a few years ago and FX had a marathon and I watched part of it when I was in my hotel room. Early seasons are comforting, but I don't go back there now.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic anymore. I read a tiny bit of Star Wars after the second movie because Rian Johnson had it right. Now I don't care. I love Mandalorian, but am content to watch.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to count. All of YV. Which reminds me, I need to go update our entry at Fanlore. I promised Punk I'd do it a while back. I need to at least get everyone linked. Right now it's only Punk and Sab.

But it was a ton of us. Marasmus, Maria Nicole, Cofax, CazQ, M. Sebasky, Livia Balaban, Kelly Keil, Wen, Ropobop, Jess Mabe, JET, fialka, and a bunch of others that I can't remember their fic names any more, just their real names because I know them all IRL. I need to go back and look up their fic names and link them up there.

In addition to my little group of pals, I loved reading Mustang Sally and Rivka T, Rachel Anton - I keep trying to find her to encourage her to write romance if she's not doing it already, but no dice, Dasha K., Anjou, there were so many great ones, but their names have slipped my mind in the past 20 years.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I'm most known for Prone, and I'm proud of that story for all kinds of reasons, but I think my very best is The Crouching Thing.

I mostly didn't publish anything I didn't think was good and hadn't been machete betaed within an inch of its life, but I'm not sure much of the angsty romance stuff holds up as well. I think it worked when the show was still ON and we were all in that emotional headspace, but probably not now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Funny you ask. I am currently reworking a plot idea I had for an X-Files fic into a contemporary M/M novel, which I will publish under a different pen-name. The plot is the idea I had for X-Files, the characters are very, very different other than one is uptight and the other more easy-going. But no more Mulder and Scully.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I have been making my living as a writer for 25 years. I write the word count equivalent of 5 Tolkein novels a year, just for my day-job. I am turning back to original fiction, which is where I was before X-Files. I'm working on the M/M thing, a high fantasy thing, a low fantasy historical thing and a bunch of M/F Regency romances as I get time and energy. I publish Fantasy and SF under my real name. Romance has pen names as you don't want that getting back to your workplace, either.

SEP is fic only and here she will stay.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have too many ideas to count. I try to write them down when they come, so I won't forget. At least the outline of the idea. Often a scene. I've been like this my entire life. I started writing novels seriously at 15. I wrote a 500 plus page one about Morgan Le Fay during breaks in high school because "Mists of Avalon" pissed me off so bad as I'd read the original source material and that was a Wicca recruitment polemic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Sarah Ellen was my great-grandma, Parsons was her grandma's last name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Half my friends ARE fic friends. Most of my friends know as does my brother, who thinks writing for free is dumb. This is universally agreed on by non-fic friends who know. My mother still doesn't know about the fic. Just the "real" writing. I write under a pen name to keep it away from my job and my published work.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

My X-files stuff is up on Gossamer mostly. I'm trying to get the stories all moved to AO3 for all the genres. I'm working on this now. SEP is really not a living thing anymore, but there was a time when she was more me than me.

If you want to find my "real" non-fic writing, write to me at se_parsons at yahoo dot com and I will point you at it.

And PLEASE someone, hunt down Rachel Anton and get her writing something we all can BUY. Where are my old Krycek bitches at? Do any of you know where she is? [Lilydale note: I’ve tried contacting Rachel Anton for this Old School X project but have not had luck. I would love to find her too!]

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

The community I loved has mostly moved on, but I think we left a legacy of solid work crafted out of our love for the show. Find a living community you love for a show you love. There are great people out there creating and get involved. It will be worth it.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 15, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #sarah ellen parsons

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kingreywrites · 3 years

Note

In what order would you rate all the songs in the Tangled franchise from best to worst (including movie and series) and why would you rate them that way?

That sort of question is so stressful like, I hope none of you expect me to have good taste or anything, I'm only listening to songs for the emotions they give me asgdhjdj also if I didn't make a mistake, there's exactly 40 songs between the movie and the series and it pleases me greatly

Anyway this is very long so read more it is (and btw since i cannot ever make up my mind this is far from a fixed list, ask me tomorrow and it'll be different asfhdjd the first ones and the last ones stay mostly unchanged but the middle is a big puddle of what i've been listening to the most lately)

1. I See The Light

It's very soft and very sweet and I could spend my life listening to it. I loved it before even watching Tangled for the first time and now I've got all this emotional attachment too so like yeah it deserves the first spot

2. Stronger Than Ever Before

Straight out banger okay, I love it so much and it always put me in such a good mood 😭💕

3. Buddy Song

Same reasons as above asghdjd

4. When Will My Life Begin (reprise)

Dude I just….. yeah this song always makes me emotional it's so freaking great i wish it was one hour long

5. Next Stop Anywhere (reprise)

Underrated new dream duet, again i only wish it was LONGER

6. The Girl Who Has Everything (reprise)

i listen to it and i cry what more can i say it's too sOFT

7. Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

Listen it's eugene's song at this point i cannot deny that i just love these songs based on what they make me feel and this one makes me feel a LOT

8. Nothing Left To Lose

Discovered the show through it and that part when they both sing at the same time hits just right 😌

9. Mother Knows Best (reprise)

It hurts but god is this an awesome villain song, both in the performance and the lyrics ;-;

10. Ready As I'll Ever Be

I love that song but I'll be honest I mostly love Varian's part and the chorus (?) part….. it's a banger but i tend to skip cass and rapunzel's part asfhdjdk (sorry it's still amazing tho 😭)

11. Life After Happily Ever After

Eugene's part 💕💖💖💕💖💖🥰💕🥰💕

12. Bigger Than That

Lance has the best voice all his songs are the coolest

13. Crossing The Line

The beginning between Rapunzel and Cassandra?? Unparalleled, I just. wish they kept going like this. Cass' solo part is still great but the beginning was SO good

14. With You By My Side

Very sweet and I love when people sing together asgdhjd

15. Waiting In The Wings

I do not have the same adoration some people do for it but it's clearly a banger, tbh the best Cass song even tho I've rated some higher here (but it's because there's other people in them)

16. I Will Make You Proud (reprise)

Can they start making these damn reprise longer I LOVE THE KEY CHANGE

17. I Will Make You Proud

I love itttt

18. Next Stop Anywhere

Honestly I feel it should be higher but I forgot so it's here instead asghdjdj i'm not remaking this but I love it (especially the Rapunzel and Eugene's parts because like. i'm me. ofc)

19. Wind In My Hair

It's stuck in my head like 70% of the time and i'm not even complaining about it

20. Through It All

I just…… love group numbers ghdhdjd it's catchy and i wish i could… idk, frame Eugene's "we all must heed the call" cause his voice is awesome here

21. Set Yourself Free

I really love Rapunzel that's all 🥺

22. Listen Up

Yes it's mostly useless but i love that song so much i can't explain it, IT GIVES ME ENERGY (also cap's moment is awesome gjfhfjgh)

23. Mother Knows Best

I'm all for upbeat and chilling villain songs, and Gothel's are amazing examples of that

24. If I Could Take This Moment Back

Okay I do like it and I do enjoy the angst but since it's like, nearly the only new dream duet in the series, I wish we got something better 😔 i like happy fun songs so much

25. When Will My Life Begin

It's such a nice song I know it by heart and I love it :')

26. The Girl Who Has Everything

I have Thoughts about this song and its meaning but it gave me the reprise and it's also very cute and catchy so I still listen to it quite often

27. Wind In My Hair (reprise)

It's soooo short but when she starts it up it's really amazing, it's just not that different from the og which is longer, so I tend to listen to the first one more

28. Life After Happily Ever After (reprise)

*listen to Rapunzel's part* *skip forward for 3000 years* *listen to the end* asfhdjdj Rapunzel's voice makes up for the annoyance tho i'm so proud of her

29. Something That I Want

Catchy, even though it doesn't really feel like tangled to me

30. Hurt Incantation

Literally one of the most fascinating twist of the series, it's not a song I listen to in itself but it's hella cool

31. Healing Incantation

Same, difficult to listen to it as a song but it's pretty and just… rapunzel singing it brokenly over Eugene's body haunts me ;-;

32. I Have A Dream

Group numbers my beloved <3 it ended a bit low on the list but idk i like it

33. The View From Up Here

It's cute idk what my brain has against it but i think it's the birds scaring me asgjdjjk no honestly i just think i have no emotional connection to it

34. I've Got This

Very plot focused song which is okay but it's just not really interesting to listen to it separate from the show, if that makes sense

35. More Of Me

A cool song but i just don't seek it out

36. I'd Give Anything

Pretty song but i cannot disconnect it from how stupid it is for Rapunzel's character arc so like, not the worse in melody but i avoid it

37. Friendship Song

I forget that it exists half the time… it really doesn't add much and i don't get why they made it 😅

38. Waiting In The Wings (reprise)

The only reprise that's actively worse than the original, both because of the twist and because the kid's voice just ain't it 😭

39. Living The Dream

I honestly don't care about it and Hookhand's an ass

40. Hookfoot's Ballad

Last on behalf of the ep making me believe that Eugene and Rapunzel were going to argue while singing and i got hookfoot instead. also it sucks

#thanks for the ask anon but genuinely my tastes in music are based on vibes and vibes alone #so i can't even explain my choices asgdhjdj #idk if anyone will have the courage to read all of that god asgjdjf if you did uh... u get a hug #ask #mine

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kutemouse · 3 years

Text

And Then He Was Gray (Part Six, End)

Disclaimer: I edited the pic I used for my header, but the OG pic belongs to BTS & BigHit.

Author’s Note: Woooooooow, here we are, at the end! I think this is the first six-part one-shot I’ve finished on this tumblr. Uh-maze-ing. This was so much fun to write. I love that I came up with this purely out of my own head, the only inspiration being that damn beautiful gray shirt and Jin’s damn beautiful self. I’m really proud of this piece. I hope you, dear kutie reader, enjoyed it as well. Thank you for your support, and as always, I purple you <3

Age Recommendation: 21+ (Not just a recommendation, kuties!)

Warnings: Praise kink shining through, oral, mutual masturbation, a bit o’ angst, and (as always) f*cking swears.

Word Count: 1,583

Master List

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

And Then He Was Gray (Jin One-Shot, Smut, Fluff) Part Six (End)

My eyelids fluttered as my consciousness stirred, but I buried my face back into the pillow, not wanting to wake up. If I woke up, it would be morning, and I’d have to go home, and my amazing one-night stand would be over, becoming nothing but a bunch of memories I’d only be able to take out late at night when I was alone.

I reached a hand out, feeling beside me where Jin had lain, his strong arms wrapped around me as we finally drifted off to sleep for the last time. After the first time, despite a heavy makeout session and him promising to fuck me into oblivion again, we decided we were both too exhausted to go another round. Jin sweetly took care of me, grabbing a wet washcloth and wiping me down with it, tenderly kissing every inch of my body as he did so. “Did so well,” he muttered between kisses. “So good. My good girl.”

I sleepily preened at the praise, smiling and letting out content sighs as he cleaned me up. He got us both large glasses of water, watching to make sure I gulped mine all the way down before snuggling up against me in bed and wrapping me in his arms. The heat emanating from his skin alongside his heartbeat lulled me almost to sleep when Jin’s voice broke the silence. “Y/n.”

“Mmmm?”

“That was… mind-blowing.”

I hummed in agreement, my eyes still closed, snuggling deeper into his chest.

“I just wanted to ask before we fell asleep… if I get horny again, do I have your consent to wake you up by eating you out?”

My eyes shot open, heat flooding to my core at the thought. “God, yes,” I sighed.

I could feel Jin’s smile as he kissed my cheek. “Good. Because if I’m sleeping next to you, it’s almost a guarantee I’m gonna wanna fuck again.”

And fuck again we did. Jin only let me have a couple hours sleep before I woke up with his head between my thighs, slurping down my juices as his tongue penetrated my core and swirled around my clit. I came twice again, once from him eating me out, then again as we fucked once more, this time more slow and sensual as we were both still a bit drowsy.

After a couple more hours of sleep, I woke up to Jin fingering me, the pads of his ring and middle fingers drawing circles on my clit as his hot breath warmed my neck from behind. I reached over and wrapped my fingers around his lengthy shaft, pumping up and down until we mutually orgasmed once more.

I smiled, the memories from last night leaving warmth flowing through me, and finally opened my eyes. It had to be at least mid-day, if not later. The sun was lighting up the room, even through Jin’s dark curtains, and the day felt like it was already mostly over. Jin was nowhere to be seen. I glanced around, my gaze landing on a folded t-shirt with a glass of water next to it. I gulped it down, so thirsty after all of last night’s antics, then put on the t-shirt, which fell to my thighs.

I cautiously opened the bedroom door and padded down the hall into the kitchen, from where a delicious smell was wafting throughout the apartment. “Hey,” Jin said. His upper half was bare, and he wore gray sweatpants that fell loosely around his hips. I wet my lips at the sight of Balenciaga boxers peeking out above the waistline.

“Hi,” I replied, a bit breathless.

“Did you sleep well?”

I hummed in response. Something was sizzling in the pan he held, and he dragged a spoon through it before blowing the steam away and holding it out to me. “Taste this.”

I stepped close and obliged, the warm smell coming from the pan enticing my senses. I chewed and swallowed. “Wow, that is really good,” I said.

Jin shot me a smile. “Good. Sit down, I’ll make you a plate.”

He set the food-filled plate in front of me, along with a pair of chopsticks. “Thanks,” I murmured.

“Oh, here’s your phone. I charged it for you, and your clothes will be out of the dryer in a few minutes.”

I blinked. He washed my clothes? Jin seemed to be almost too considerate… Almost like he’d practiced this routine a million other times, with a million other girls. That depressing thought led me to turn on my phone, eager to distract myself from my perpetual loneliness.

Soyeon had called me three times, and texted me twice as many times.

I quickly tapped out a message back to her.

I lay my phone face down on the table. It buzzed a few times, no doubt Soyeon freaking out about the fact I was at Jin’s place, but I ignored it. “Everything okay?” Jin asked.

“Yeah, fine. Just Soyeon checking in on me.”

Jin was wiping his hands on a dish towel, staring intently down at me. The sight of his bare honey-toned torso and taut muscles was almost too much to look at. I couldn’t believe how handsome he was, and even more unbelievable was the fact we’d had such an incredible night together… But with every high comes just as deep of a low. How is it that I’d gotten laid but I felt more single today then I did last night?

I quickly finished eating and went to grab my clothes, changing as fast as I could and grabbing my purse. “Erm,” I said, causing Jin to look up from cleaning up the kitchen. “I’m going to call a cab. Thanks for… Well, thanks for everything.”

Jin’s brow furrowed. “Wait a sec, I can give you a ride.”

I smiled weakly. “There’s no need. I can get home on my own. I’ll just wait on the curb.”

He crossed the room, confusion in his eyes. “Hold on now, no need to rush. I wanted to spend more time with you.”

Now it was my turn to be confused. “You wanted… what?”

Jin stepped close, caressing my cheek with a long finger. “Why are you always running away from me?”

“I’m not,” I retorted, stepping out of his reach. “I’m just trying to give you an out so you don’t have to feel bad.”

“Why would I need an out?”

I glanced awkwardly to the side. “Because… Well, because… This is just a one-night stand, isn’t it? I mean, that’s what you do with girls?”

Jin scoffed. “Seriously? You’re still on about that?”

“Well, yeah. Look, Soyeon told me━”

“I don’t care what Soyeon told you. Yeah, there have been other girls. You’re telling me there haven’t been other guys?”

I stayed silent. Clearly, after last night, I was no virgin, but I wasn’t a player either. “I just wanted to be clear with our expectations,” I muttered, turning away.

I had my hand on the door handle when Jin placed his large one over it. “Tell me, right now,” he said earnestly. “Be honest. Do you want this to only be a one-night stand? Or would you like it if something more came out of it?”

My mouth parted in surprise as I looked back at him. “Be honest,” Jin repeated, his gaze eager. “Because I’ll be honest with you. I have been with other girls, yes, a lot of other girls by some standards. I’ve always been straight with them, telling them they were just a means to satisfy me for the night, but none of them could even do that much. None of them were what I needed.”

I slowly turned back around as he spoke, letting him get closer and closer with each word. Jin placed his hands on either side of me, effectively pinning me with my back to the door. “I need you,” he said, passion dripping from his voice. “I need everything about you. I told you, from the second I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to be perfect for me.”

I pressed my lips together. “Yeah, but sexual compatibility does not make a relationship,” I said. “No matter how amazing.”

Jin blew out a frustrated exhale, shaking his head. “You still don’t get it. I want to date you, Y/n. Will you go out with me?”

I blinked. Was he… serious? I mean, we did have some things in common. We both liked to cook, we had similar friends… and we were fantastic in bed together. Maybe this could work. Maybe I could have someone of my own, finally, someone to go to parties with, someone to share all my secrets with, someone to love.

“Y-Yeah,” I finally stuttered out. “I’ll go out with you.”

Jin let out the breath he’d been holding, sliding his palm up towards my jaw, angling it upward. He captured my lips with his in the sweetest kiss, drawing me up on my tiptoes, causing me to wrap my arms around his neck. He drew back, and I kept my eyes closed for a moment longer, wishing for more.

“Come on,” Jin said, his gaze darkening as he tugged me by the hand back towards the bedroom. “I’ve got the whole day off, and I know exactly what… or should I say, who… I want to do.”

Smiling, I let him lead me into the kind of bliss that, until that moment, I’d only dreamed I’d be able to have.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The Fucking End <3

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thisisthehardestthing · 3 years

Note

wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:

this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.

okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.

with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.

okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.

speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.

also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.

oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.

hello anon <3

It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.

Fic Spoilers below the cut.

everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.

Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read.

details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.

ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.

i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.

fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.

the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.

kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!

thank you again for the pacing comment <3

i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment

hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.

i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly

ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.

To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.

So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x

Thank you.

Spasiba x

#spasiba #claudia rambles #toska asks #fic spoilers #spoiler #i love you so much #thank you

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bisexual-horror-fan · 3 years

Note

I would adore to read some of your works surrounding your characters! Especially if there’s already an assemblage of that completed so we needn’t worry about you overworking yourself

Well this seems like as good a time as any to be honest! Let’s go off shall we! So I wrote this a while back, it is mostly about Ginger Handel, the Final Girl to my Slasher OC Victor Pace. James Doron (never posted his offical bio) is also the other main character in this, he works in the same bakery with both Victor and Ginger. I love these three so very much and have written a lot about them already, so I can post more if people like it. This is a big deal because as I am sure you know OG shit isn’t what I post here, yet anyway.

Anger, a conversation, backstory. Here we go some of my original shit! Hope you all enjoy it!

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Rating. SFW. Length. 2.6K. Warnings: Mentions Of A Bad Home Life and Mental Health Struggles. Some Sad Shit. Some Soft Shit. Minor Angst. Anger. Some Backstory.

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How Dare You?

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Ginger was more scared than she had ever been in her whole life.

She was so concerned, worried, freaked the fuck out, she had to go find James and talk to him. She remembered where he lived from when she had stopped by for dinner with James and Victor. It was early, very early, she stood in front of his door and knocked, waiting, waiting, hurry up, come on. Finally the door opened and James was rubbing his eyes and said sleepily.

“Ginger?”

“James.”

“What are you doing here?”

He yawned, leaning against the door frame and Ginger said.

“I have to talk to you.”

“Now? Couldn’t wait until work?”

A tired laugh as he responded and she shook her head, saying seriously.

“No.”

He stared at her for a moment, he realized she seemed serious, he pushed off the door frame before sighing and saying.

“Fucking fine. Come on in.”

She walked in, James flopped down on the couch, Ginger stayed standing, pacing and James asked,

“So what’s the problem?”

“You know those murders?”

He sighed and said.

“Yeah, the ones you are so concerned about, sure.”

“I think…”

A pause. She struggles to find the right wording.

“This is a lot. I just...I think I know who’s doing it.”

That got his attention, he sat up and asked.

“Woah. Ginger really?”

Yes. Thank God, he seems interested. Ginger nodded and continued.

“Yes! Yes, we have to go to the police. I’m sure the murders are being done by one person.”

“Shit. Yeah I’ll help you, what evidence do you have?”

She felt embolden as she continued speaking, almost too quickly, gesturing as she did,

“I don’t have the physical evidence yet but if we can convince the police and get a warrant then I’m sure we will have everything we need.”

“Well c’mon spill. Who is it?”

Ginger hesitated and James gestured with his hands for her to spit it out.

“It’s...I think it’s Victor...”

He looked dumbfounded. He looked up at her and said harsh.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“James, I know, I know! But you have to hear me out!”

“No. No I don’t actually.”

James rolled his eyes and he crossed his arms, leaning back on the couch.

“James I swear to God it’s him! I know it, I-”

James got up and sighed very loudly, hand running through his messy hair.

“Shut up Ginger.”

Ginger tried to speak up and he cut her off right away.

“I said shut up Ginger! Oh my GOD. I cannot believe you.”

“What?”

He rubbed his hand over his face, weight shifting from one foot to the other and he said harshly.

“I said. I can’t believe you! Like Jesus Christ, Ginger, why? Huh? What do you have against the man?”

Ginger started to get a little frustrated at how quickly this was falling apart, at how fast James was getting upset as she said.

“Why are you always defending him?!”

James looked at Ginger, shocked as he said.

“You really don’t know?...”

The realization hit as he vocalized it,

“He didn’t tell you. Course he wouldn’t. Wasn’t his thing to tell. God damn it Victor.”

She heard it but it was almost like he was saying it to himself, he spoke louder as he addressed her again, eyes focused as he glared at her,

“That fucking man still amazes me. This makes me even more upset because you are accusing him of something so AWFUL.”

He was pacing now, almost rambling, still in utter disbelief he seemed mad as hell, he didn’t stop.

“The reason I defend him so much Ginger is because he is the best man I have ever met. He has helped me immensely. He gave me so much, real world experience and personal teaching, he listened to my problems and became my fucking friend. When I was in school, there was this one night and I had to bring in this dessert for a final exam and I fucking dropped it.”

He stopped pacing for a moment and he laughed recalling the memory and recounting it for Ginger.

“Like an idiot I dropped it and I fucking cried and freaked out about how I was going to fail and all my work would be for nothing.”

He remembered being curled over, crying tears of pure frustration, hunched over the mess that was once his dessert, smashed plate and cream and hard work splattered over the tile in the back of the bakery. He remembered Victor crouching down beside him, hand on his back, he looked up and Victor told him.

“Get up. Come on, get up and straighten yourself out, I’ll clean this up and I’ll help you do it again.”

He remembered looking up to him through too many tears as he said,

“Wha-what? Victor i-it’s already 11:30, you’ve stayed too late already, you normally open at 6, you shouldn’t-”

And Victor was rubbing over his back now, a shake of his head as he comforted him,

“James. Nothing you can say is going to change my mind here. I want to help you. I’m going to help you, okay?”

He sniffed and smiled and said.

“Okay.”

He remembered tissues and wiping his face clean, feeling a little embarrassed crying in front of his boss. They played music and talked and laughed and drank coffee and managed to stay awake and remake it even better. Victor insisted on keeping the store closed that day, he drove him to school that day. James passed and Victor and him went out for lunch and over even more coffee he remembers the moment where everything really changed when Victor said.

“I’m proud of you.”

That stopped James dead, mid sip of coffee, he wasn’t exactly used to praise and Victor didn’t stop.

“You have such a passion for this. For what we do, it is amazing how far you’ve come since we started working together, really.”

A pause.

“And I wanted to offer you a full time job at Pace’s Pastries when you are done with school. No obligation to stay forever obviously but you are such a good fit and I would love to have you.”

James agreed readily, easily, he couldn’t believe it. It was like a dream. Life is so good right now and here was Ginger standing there, doubting Victor, it was enraging.

He took a deep breath, his back to Ginger he continued, recalling another time.

“Once. I was mugged and they got a lot of money off me. I had just been to the bank, tuition payment, gone.”

A snap of his fingers for emphasis and he kept talking.

“And when I cried to Victor on the phone about it he fucking payed my tuition that month for me. These past years that man has been nothing but kind to me. Been there for me. Cared for me. I can’t tell you the amount of times he showed me such kindness again and again even if sometimes I probably didn’t deserve it. Everyone in Long Grove can tell you something nice about him! Some sweet, kind thing he has done for them.”

He was facing her again as he continued, louder now, more anger hurled at her.

“EVERY SINGLE ONE GINGER. And then you come in and start throwing accusations at him, why? Is he too nice?! Too fucking likeable?! SO SOMETHING HAS BE WRONG WITH HIM?!”

Ginger was in shock to say the least. She knew Victor was a good guy, that he did a lot for people but she didn’t know just how much he had done for James.

“He is family.”

“What?”

“He is my family Ginger...Like...”

Another sigh, he walked over to the couch and sat down again, he motioned for her to sit too. She took the chair next to the couch and he couldn’t look at her as he continued talking, eyes on the floor, hands on his knees.

“I’ve cried in front of that man too many damn times I swear to God. My family disowned me. I was almost done my last year of school, it was so awful, Victor was there for me.”

Another series of memories recalled, James in the back of house at the bakery, arms folded on the table in front of him, phone call just ended, tears still wet on his face, his dad’s words still ringing in his ears, fragments, hurtful and stinging.

“Never come back here again.”

“No son of mine-”

“Disgraceful.”

“Worthless.”

He heard the door swing open, he got up, wiping at his face, he pocketed his phone and said.

“Hey Victor, sorry I’m still here, I was just going to lock up.”

He tried to talk normally but his voice still sounded thick and raw from so much crying.

“James what’s wrong?”

He forced a smile and turned to look at Victor, still in the doorway as he said.

“Nothing man, uh nothing I’m all good.”

“James.”

Victor stepped closer and James still tried to deny it.

“Really Victor I’m good-I just uh-”

Think of a lie James come on, you burden him too much already, something, think of something.

A hand, strong and steady on his forearm, when did he close his eyes? He opened them again to see Victor, looking so concerned.

“You can talk to me James.”

So nice.

He is so damn nice and he is so open, no one in his family ever wants to talk about anything.

It all came spilling out, he couldn’t stop it, he told him about his home life, his family, his dad. He had started crying somewhere in the middle of telling him and it ended with the both of them sitting on the table in the back, James with his hand near his mouth, looking down, still crying, Victor just being there, listening.

“And then he said he never wants to see me again, to never come back there. They are disowning me Victor.”

He finally finished, Victor waited a moment, to make sure he was done. Hands taking his, strong and sure and grounding, James looked up to him and Victor said.

“Fuck them.”

James laughed a little, Victor wasn’t the type to swear often. He thinks the only time he heard it before now was one afternoon when making candy he got a molten sugar burn, it sounded wrong coming from him, he asked,

“What?”

“Fuck them. James they don’t know what they have in you. You are so talented and smart and so good and it sounds like they don’t act like a family.”

A forign concept to James. He sounded so confused,

“Act like a family?”

A laugh, quiet, a little sad from Victor before he says,

“Family supports each other, listens to each other, is there. Present. Caring, loving. Sounds like they have never been your family.”

James had to agree, they never cared, the only person who did was his younger sister, he was most broken up about that, not seeing her, her having to deal with them alone. Victor wasn’t done.

“I’ll be your family.”

James' heart had never beat harder in his life. He couldn’t accept hearing that so easily, something like that had never been offered to him, it sounded too good to be true. No way.

“Victor what are you saying? You-you’ve done enough, really I-”

“You need a place to go, you have school to finish, you are so close, live with me, take the full time job when you graduate. Figure out what you are doing with no pressure, James I care about you a lot, please let me help you do this.”

Again all he could do was smile through the tears and say,

“Okay.”

Living with Victor was so easy, he never realized that he wanted to go home to a place before, he always was avoiding his old family’s house, but here he actually wanted to go home at night. Being able to relax was life changing. Victor was the only one who came to his graduation, he took pictures and cheered and James felt loved and seen and heard for the first time in his 22 years of life.

James looked so sad, so angry so many things and he looked up from the floor back to Ginger. Less sad, more anger again.

“So...Ginger...I’m fucking sorry if I am a little upset and a little fucking doubtful of you that the man who did all of that and so much more, the man who saved my life, is capable of killing multiple people.”

Ginger doubted herself now. Stumbling through her attempt at a response.

“But...The...I...”

She sighed and James continued, prodding as he asked,

“What? What else?”

Ginger started.

“I don’t think he is mentally well.”

James got up and stepped closer, he scoffed looking down at her and said.

“And what about it Ginger? I know you know about how he got that scar of his. I know people in this town talk, they love him but fuck it IS the biggest thing that has ever happened here so I KNOW you know about it.”

Ginger couldn’t meet his gaze now, speaking quietly, playing with her fingers for a mild distraction, she felt like an idiot.

“Yes I know about how he got it.”

James continued, anger still clear in his tone,

“So if you know about it you know he has been through a lot. He watched his parents and brother die, almost died HIMSELF, so yes it kind of mentally messed him up, he is medicated, he is in therapy, he is working on himself.”

“He goes to therapy?”

He stepped away, walking to the kitchen, he needed coffee, dear God he needed something to help deal with how she was being right now, he continued speaking.

“Yes Ginger, oh my God. He doesn’t really talk about it at work, he is a little sensitive about it and he obviously made the right call, why are you being such a judgmental bitch?”

Now she was shocked, hand to her chest, finally looking back to him,

“I’m being a-”

He cut her off quickly.

“A judgmental bitch. I will say it again and again because the shoe fits.”

Now it was Ginger’s turn to get angry, she got up and followed him to the kitchen. She stood in the doorway and watched him, he seemed so different from how he was at the bakery, she softened. To be fair though she had barged her way in here well before 5 AM on a weekday and demanded to talk to him, accused him that the only family he has is a murderer, of course he is defensive.

Of course he doesn’t believe her.

Yet.

“James. I’m sorry. I know I am asking a lot of you, I know you have history and you don’t want to believe this but what if I could show you?”

She stayed in the doorway. Keeping the distance between them. She felt bad. James got out a second mug, he poured her a cup and picked it up, he held it out, still not looking at her.

“You want to show me Victor is a murderer?”

She stepped into the kitchen and took the cup and said.

“Yes. You are right, I need something hard, real evidence, if we catch him in the act then you will have to believe me.”

James let out a sigh, he shook his head and looked over to her as he said.

“I’m only agreeing to prove you wrong. There is no way it’s him.”

“So you’ll hear me out?”

She asked hopefully, he rolled his eyes and said.

“Yes. If it’ll get you to shut up. Now do you take cream or sugar or both?”

#BHF writing #Slasher OC #Victor Pace #Ginger Handel #James Doron #The Pace Brothers #Pace's Pasteries #BHF Orignal #BHF asks #thanks for asking this!#Hope you like it!#Gib feedback if yall want more

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gray-is-neutral · 3 years

Text

Supernatural

a fan fiction pt.8

Dean’s pov.

Sam and Jordan wouldn’t be home for about three days. Awfully long time for a ghost hunt, but I wasn’t going to complain. Cas and I were in the awkward stage in being a new couple. We weren’t sure yet. Perhaps awkward wasn’t the word. Shy, yeah, as stupid as that is. I was never this shy with women, but I have heard that dating different genders is a different experience. Plus, this was my best friend. Who knew less than I did about this.

It was a lot of rambling and checking our reflections when we thought the other wasn’t looking. Sneaky hand holding and small kisses here and there. I would go to sleep on his chest on the couch, and I would woke up next to him in my room. He would be sitting on the edge of the bed. We were still in a shy phase. after all, as gross as that sounds. We were like kids. Still figuring this out. Right now it was stealing a kiss every now and then, hugs, and just enjoying making each other blush. That seemed to be our favorite game. Cas took that to a new extreme. It was an odd place to be in, but we were happy. If we never got out of this shy phase, that would be okay with me. As long as he was with me.

One night we decided to talk about where this is gong to go. We were dating, that was obvious, but when should the rest of the world know? It would be a shock that I am bisexual. Do I just want to hit Sam with that all at once?

We walked into the lobby of the bunker and tried to figure out when to tell Sam. “Do you think that is a good idea Dean?” Cas asked. “Are you ready?” he asked. He looked down at his feet. This is new for us, and I understood that, but I didn’t want him to think I was ashamed of him. If he wanted, I’d scream it from the roof tops that I love him.

“I’m not ashamed of you, Cas. That isn’t why I never told you,” I said. “I know that Dean, but wouldn’t it be a little cruel for us to flaunt, and Sam just find out that Eileen doesn't love him?” he asked. “Oh so we’re flaunting now?” I said as he blushed a little. I could get used to this. “Shut up Dean, you know what I meant,” he said as he came in close and gave me a small kiss. I blushed a little. “Dean?” he said. “Yeah?” I said, our fore heads touching. “You’re blushing.” “Fuck you,” I said, pushing him a little

“Not in front of me please,” Jack said. “Jack!” He surprised us. “What’s up kid?” I said. “I wanted to visit. Where is Sam and your pretty friend?” he asked. “I think that they are sad, she prays a lot,” he said.

“Are they in trouble?” Dean asked. “No, but I thought they would be here by now?” Jack said. “Dean?” Jordan said. “Cas? Are you decent?” she called running down the stairs. “Dude, her sisters are awesome!” Sam said. walking in. “Iron knuckles to punch ghosts? Who would have thought of that?’ Sam said. “People with common sense?” Jordan said, rolling her eyes. “Hey,” she said, giving a sweet smile to Jack.

“Hello Jordan, hello Sam,” he said. “What do we owe the pleasure?” Sam asked. “Yeah what brings God himself at our door?” “I wanted to see you guys. Have fun without having to worry about Gabriel or Micheal or Lucifer,” he said. “Because we don’t have to anymore,” he said.

“So Lucifer and Micheal they are still dead?” Sam asked. “Oh no, but I have it taken care of. Micheal and Adam wanted to be together, so I gave Micheal a body,” he said. I looked at him concerned. “Oh don’t worry, he was already dead.” “Thank you Jack, that is what we were worried about. What about Lucifer?” I said. “Oh! He has agreed to not be too bad,” Jack said with a proud smile.

“Not to be too bad?” I said. “Lucifer agreed not to be too bad and you said what? ‘Okay sounds good’?” I said. “Dean, don’t be mean,” Cas said. “I’m sorry, Lucifer? As in the Devil? The og fallen angel?” Jordan said in disbelief. “And that’s just no biggie?” “You get used to it,” Sam said, she gave him a side eyed look, but shrugged and said, “Okay.”

“Okay?” I said. “Two seconds ago you were on the verge of a freak out, but now you’re just, okay?” I asked her. “He’s a fucking angel. He fucked a demon,” she said pointing at Sam. “My ex boyfriend is currently possessed by an angel. Just yesterday I was performing surgery to remove flowers from people’s lungs because their crush didn’t like them back,” she said. “How did you know how to do that, by the way?” asked Cas. “Yeah, why were you and Damon the only ones who knew how to perform the surgery?” I asked.

She cocked her eyebrows and said, “I like to read BL on occasion. I happen to have read one about the disease,” she said then shrugged. “It worked,” she said as Sam looked at her with shock. “You performed a risky surgery with no idea if it would actually work?” he said. “Fuck off, it worked,” she said,

“Can we do something together?” Jack said. “Being God is boring a lot of time. I would like to have fun,” he said. “Like a movie?” Cas asked. “Movies are a great time,” said Jordan. “I thought we were going to hang out with your sisters later tonight?” Sam said. “Dude, I get that my sisters are hot, but they aren’t that great,” said Jordan. “Where were you two going to go?” Dean asked. “It’s a bar that usually has professional musicians, but tonight is amateur night,” Jordan said.

“So drunk people who don’t know what they are doing embarrass themselves?” I said. Cas looked at me. “What asshole?” I asked impulsively, the intensity of his stare throwing me off.

“Jack what do you want to do?” he asked Jack. “I want to meet her sisters and have a good time. Then a movie,” he said. “Great!” said Sam. “Dean get your leggings on so we don’t have to pay for drinks!” Sam said, walking to his room. Jordan went in the same direction. “I’ll wait until you and Jordan get done braiding each other’s hair!” I called as she flipped me off and walked backwards. “Dean can I borrow your room to change?” she asked.

“Yeah just don’t make a mess!” I said. “How in Hell would I make a mess?” she said, disappearing behind my door. Leaving Cas and I alone with Jack. “When did you two start kissing?” Jack said. “Shhh!” Cas said. “We haven’t told anyone yet,” he said. “Is it a secret?” Jack asked. “No,” I said, standing a little too close to Cas on purpose. I wasn’t sure what that proved, but it made Cas smile.

“Okay? So when do you two plan to tell them?” Jack asked. “At a better time,” Dean said. Jack looked confused. “Why is now not a good time? Is it because Eileen doesn’t love Sam anymore?” Jack asked. “Really guys?” Sam said, he looked hurt and tired. “How do you know about that?” Sam asked Jack. “I’m God?” he said confused.

Sam sighed and said, “Why are you three talking about me and Eileen anyways?” Just then, as if Jack had willed it himself, Jordan came in half singing, half screaming, “Shot through the heart and your to blame! You give love a bad name!” Her phone’s speakers desperately tried to match her volume and enthusiasm, but failed. “Why do you all look so mad?” she said as she slipped on a shoe. “I thought we were going out to have fun?” she said. “Why so glum chums?” she asked in a fake British accent.

Sam tried to glare at her, but she poked him in the side. “C’mon Sammy boy, this was your idea.” He smiled despite himself. Sam may still love Eileen but maybe him having some sort of relationship with Jordan will help? She seems to work wonders. She had a way with people that I didn’t quite get. Maybe it’s because instead of dealing with her issues, she projects all her energy into helping others. I hate to admit that I have benefited from that. It makes her feel better, so I guess it’s not that big of an issue.

She looked at us all. “Well are we just going to stand around or are we going to go laugh at some poor drunk souls? C’mon the baby wants some fun,” she said, wrapping her arms around Jack as he smiled.

She had three personalities. Dr. Blake, cold and annoyed. Jordan, my friend, willing to do anything to help me. And this version, the one who just wants to be happy. I wondered which version her sisters knew. Or if they had a whole other version they kept to themselves?

Either way, Jordan Blake was a welcome, if not sudden friend. She was a bit of a mystery, but we all have a past. Now was a time to look towards the future.

The future where I watch as drunk girls sing off key to “I Want it That Way”. Cas was confused, but amused as Jack danced badly with Jordan. She motioned for Cas and me to join their merry band of idiots, but I declined and descreetly held Cas’ hand under a table.

Sam joined the two of them until they heard, “Jordan! Sam! You two came!” It was Jordan’s older sister, Elise, I think that’s her name. She was wearing a short, tight-fitting dress. It was cheata print and her hair was wild. She still looked pretty, though.

Then came Timothy. She was younger, much younger. Maybe mid 20’s. She was wearing a floural, collared shirt. She didn’t look like her sisters. She wasn’t as pale and Jordan, nor was she tall and slim like El. She had black hair and two different colored eyes. She had a personality of a lawer or a salesman. She was persuasive. She had quite the personality from what I have heard.

She came and sat with Cas and I. “You old enough to drink?” I asked her with a laugh. She had an oddly young look about her. “You young enough for this?” she said, kicking our hands under the table. “You’re not slick old man,” she said. “Hello Cas,” she said, smiling sweetly at him. “Hello Timmy,” he said.

She ordered herself a beer and watched as Jordan danced with Sam and El. “Why don’t you two show them how it’s done?” she asked. “I don’t dance sweetheart,” I said. “Me neither,” she said as Jack sat down. “The music is terrible here,” said Timmy. It was playing an Adel song while they waited for the next brave or drunk person to come up.

“I like it,” said Jack as he took a drink of his beer. “Who’s the kid?” she asked. Cas smiled a little and I let out a small laugh. “This kid,” Cas said. “Is God.” She laughed but then realized that we were serious. “You’re kidding right? This literal baby is God?” Jack nodded with enthusiasm. “Well damn, hallelujah,” she said, raising her beer and drinking the rest of it.

“Guess I can’t be surprised anymore, with Ben being an angel now,” she said. Ben was Jordan’s ex boyfriend. “Did the angel tell you their name?” Cas asked. “No, he never stays around for long. Says Jordan makes him sick,” she shrugged as Jordan squealed as Sam picked her up, upside down and spun her. “The bastard.” Timmy said.

She looked at her older sisters. She gave a smile as El yelled to her, “I love this song!” “Don’t be the youngest,” she said. “You’re the only one with brain cells.”

After a moment, a young server came up to Timmy. “Hello Princess,” he said. “Fuck off,” she said. He slammed his hand on the table, making the four of us jump. “I said ‘Hello Princess’,” he said. “And she said ‘Fuck off’,” Jack said. His eyes flashed black. Jack took his hand and removed the demon with ease.

It was then that Jack said, “It’s movie time now.” The next thing we all knew, we were at the bunker. El looked around confused. Jordan looked around. “What in Hell?” she asked. “Demons,” said Jack. “The place was full of them.” “Damn,” said Jordan. “So we just left all those humans to fall victim to them?” El said. “No they all left after I smiled the one after...” he trailed off. “Never mind that. Let’s have fun here,” said Jack.

I would argue, but Jordan plopped on the couch as El laid across her. “Where are we and ho am I supposed to get back to my car?” “They’re already here,” said Jack. El nodded. “How are you already drunk?” Jordan asked El. “How are you still stupid?” she asked. “Okay,” she said pushing her off. “I think I’d better get her back,” Timmy said. “What about the demons?” Jack asked. “With God on my side?” she asked, messing up his hair. “I don’t think I have much to worry about. Purse dog, Moose, Squirrel, would one of you tell me where our car is?” Timmy asked as my heart dropped.

“I’ll show you,” Jordan said, picking up her sister from the ground. “See you later boys,” she said. “Maybe we can have some real fun next time. Thanks for keeping my sister for me!”

Sam, Cas, and I looked at each other. “Moose and Squirrel?” Cas said. “Maybe it’s just a coincidence?” Sam said. “I hope so,” said Dean. “She isn’t possessed,” said Jack. “But she isn’t human. Not fully,” he said. “What about Jordan?” Cas asked. “She’s safe, and as far as I could tell, so are her sisters,” he said, finding a seat on the couch.

“I think we should forget about that for now and watch a movie. I’ll have to go back to Heaven soon,” Jack said, giving us puppy eyes.

I was too tired to argue and so Cas and I sat on the couch as Jordan entered. “Can I pick?” Jack asked. “Go a head kid,” said Sam. “Go nuts,” I said. “Not too nuts. You know the blocked variety of movies,” said Cas. “Guys you do know you’re talking to God, right?” Jordan said as Jack looked for a movie.

He found a movie and about half way through, Jordan discreetly whispered something into Sam’s ear. He looked at me and gave a sly grin. Him and Jordan left the room. Jack had fallen asleep. I knew he didn’t need sleep or anything humans need, but I think he misses it. I think he hated being God. I saw him give what he calls “Googly eyes” at Timmy. He was God, but he was still Jack all the same.

Cas and I were close together on the couch, but it felt stiff. I didn’t want to go straight into holding his hand, and every time we, uhh cuddle, I’m the one who is being held, and I didn’t want that to be the norm.

God this is embarrassing. Why am I being such a pussy? That being said, I couldn’t just grab Cas up and yell at him to cuddle with me. So I did what every self respecting pussy would do. I did the cliche yawn arm thing.

At first, I didn’t know what Cas was going to do, but he soon leaned into it. I was stiff, but after my heart slowed and the burn in my cheeks cooled, I relaxed too. “Hey,” Cas said. “Yeah?” I said. “Why don’t we let Jack have the couch, and we go to bed?” he said. I kissed his forehead and nodded.

I woke up Jack and moved him to the couch. We went to bed. Cas was sitting at his usual spot at the end of my bed. “Uhh Cas?” I said. “Yes?” he said, taking off his shoes. “I’m about to change.” I said, heart pounding. “Okay?” Cas said, sitting cris cross on the bed. “Okay? So don’t look!” I said.

He smiled at me. “What?” I said. “You’re blushing,” he said. I threw my shoe at him while he laughed. “Seriously man,” I said. “I won’t,” he said turning around. I quickly changed into some sweat pants and told him he can turn around.

I crawled in bed. He sat at the foot of the bed. It was cool that night. I knew angels didn’t get cold, but I craved his touch. Gross right? I’m king of no chick flick moments but this felt like a chick flick moment to me. “Cas? If you wanna-I mean-you can-“ He seemed to get the message because he got under the blanket on the other side of me. We were nose to nose.

This was definitely a chick flick moment, but you know what? I kissed him as he ran his hands through my hair. “Dean,” he whispered in between kisses. “Cas.” This was perfect. He is beautiful. I was finally happy. I had my brother and my dog. I had Jack, and I had my new sense of self worth. But most of all I had Cas. I had my boyfriend. I had the love of my life.

I had all the night, our limbs intertwined, and our hearts in sync. Yep this was a chick flick moment, but maybe, I thought as sweat rolled off my forehead and I looked him in his perfect blue eyes. Maybe they weren’t so bad after all. But ugh that’s corny as hell.

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n0v4hearts · 4 years

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So This is Love

Ship: Snatcher/The Prince (AHIT) x SI/OC

Word Count: about 3,160 ish words, and not beta read (unless sending this to your friend at 3am to read it over is beta reading ksbdjd)

Ok, so this is majorly self indulgent, because I low-key really like masquerade balls and grand costumes and stuff, but I can't write imagery for JACK and the song "So This is Love" basically came into my heart and smashed my knees with the image of me and Snatcher dancing to this elbdj

Also! The Prince doesn't really have a name, so i just named him Luka lol

(I haven't posted anything og my self-insert, but they go by Bee and they/them pronouns, and they work as the king's mail carrier and post man. They and Luka have been close friends since childhood, and that's why they get away with so much stuff together lol)

Anyway, I need to stop rambling, I hope you like it!!! I know I do-- The actual fic is under the read more!

... <3

Acorn sighed, as they fiddled at their clothes. Even though they are a mail carrier, they are a royal mail carrier and got the privilege to be invited to a masquerade ball the kingdom is holding. The heir of the kingdom – Prince Luka – practically begged for Acorn to be there, seeing as they were a close friend of his. Luka even had a tailor of his make a set of clothes for the occasion. When he gave Acorn their set of clothes (on a mail run, no less,) they almost burst into tears. Even though Acorn was a friend of the Prince's, and technically worked for the King and his Court, they were still pretty surprised that the King allowed them to join. Acorn sharply shook their head to try and stop thinking about what happened before the party, thoughts lingering on the clothes and the handsome Prince instead.

Thankfully, Luka made the clothing he gave them lighter than what most ball dancers would wear, as well as not having many intricate ruffles or details sewn on, unlike the richer party-goers of the ball. Ladies' dresses were puffy and frilly, with hand-stitched flowers and lace put onto the dress and bodice, waists thin and masks ranging from a simple face covering with pearls and feathers to a full-on mask with lace and colorful markings with animal representatives. Men's suits were… less fun to look at, but still brought attention to them, with brighter colors and designs in the suit rather than the tones than most were used to seeing, along with their ruffles more prominent. Their masks were similar to the ladies, with most being simple masks and the most extreme one Acorn has ever seen being a peacock themed set of clothes.

Luka, who's family was hosting the ball, had a moderately complex suit. His was centered around a mouse, trying to mimic Acorn's rabbit mask and the suit he commissioned for them. His pale white and more natural fur-like colors of his suit and extra details contrasted his normal clothing style, which used more purple and red tones, showing his stature in the kingdom. His overcoat had slightly padded shoulders to emulate his everyday wear, and his vest to protect his shirt slightly covered the silly cravat that Acorn loves to torture him about. He didn't wear his boots, as he was forced to wear his uncomfortable dress shoes. Luka's mask was ornately decorated, with a small crown of pearls shaped vaguely of a lute sat on the forehead, and silver adorned the cheeks and temples of his mask. Acorn's mask and suit were nowhere as near to the simple extravagance of the kingdom's prince, but they were still proud to wear it, albeit, slightly embarrassed. Their mask was of a simple white rabbit, it's ears extending from the area just above the temples. Despite being very simple in shape, there were swirls of silver, and around the eyes and the edges of the ears, there was gold paint. Their mask also had a very little rabbit nose, similarly decorated to the rest of the mask. Their suit had no overcoat and had a more brown set of tones rather than the pure white of Luka's. Acorn was able to wear their boots, as it did match his suit, and they were sure if Luka was there to see that, he would probably give them a look that would kill.

Speaking of which, Luka was greeting the party-goers, occasionally leaning down to kiss a lady's hand as her group of friends giggled at the small gesture. When he looked up from greeting a different woman who was surrounded by her escorts and saw Acorn, they could tell his night was made. Even though they could see his mouth, he was still in front of a small group, and couldn't show his excitement fully. Luka's eyes lit up, his hazel eyes catching the candlelight to make them a more pale yellow than normal, a happy glint in his eyes. Before he could excuse himself from the group to say hello to his friend, Luka was thrust into a conversation about courting, with the young woman – her name, what was her name… Vanessa? Was that it? – and him being the topic of conversation. Acorn saw Luka stiffen slightly when he turned around to an older gentleman gently touching his arm, and realized that they would probably both be here for a while.

. . . <3

Luka crept behind Acorn, trying to be discreet about getting to the food table. Well, as discreet as he could be, being the kingdom's one and only heir to the throne, while people are trying to make him do political moves, like marrying their daughter that probably only wants to get in his pants or leave. He jabbed at his friend's sides, making them jolt and whirl around, glass slightly raised in case they needed to resort to violence. "Oh, you–!" Luka chuckled and struggled not to laugh louder than was socially acceptable as Acorn realized it was him and gently smacked the back of their hand on his shoulder. "I almost splashed my champagne all over your suit, You're High–" Acorn was cut off before they could continue.

Luka shook his head and put a finger over his lips. "Don't call me that, please. I just got out of a conversation with a neighboring kingdom's duke. I'm sure their daughter is nice and all, but God, I just want to have some food and spend time with you before I'm forced to go dance with the people here." Acorn quirked an eyebrow at that. The Prince? Wanting to spend time with the mail carrier? During a ball to find a suitable lover? Not out of the blue, but certainly not expected. Before Acorn could ask the thoughts running through their head, Luka quickly responded. "We haven't had any time to speak at all lately. I mean, I've been looking for a good school to look into law practice and you've been constantly working all the time with deliveries that my father is making you do. The whole reason why I invited you to this is so I could talk to you, not talk to the political figures," Luka bitterly spat out as he grabbed a small plate and put some sweets on it. "… Is that so wrong?" He stayed silent for a moment after saying that, previous actions slowing and calming slightly.

Acorn shook their head. "Of course not! It's alright to want to talk to someone who hasn't spoken to in a while. But," They lowered their voice slightly and moved closer to Luka, who in turn subconsciously moved towards them. "Why here? Where you are trying to find a suitable lover?" They turned their head slightly to get a look at Luka and oh stars, when did he get this close. His shoulder-length hair had a small ponytail in the back, tying off some, but leaving the rest down to frame what little of his face people could see. He smelled like vanilla and lavender, and Acorn couldn't get enough of it. They were thankful for the mask for once, hoping that the other couldn’t see their face flush scarlet as they realized what they were thinking.

Acorn looked away, probably a bit too quickly, and looked around at the scene around them as Luka sighed. “Well, you know how it is. I was kinda forced to come here. Royal duties to,” he switched to a deeper voice and cocked his head a little higher, “keep the royal bloodline alive and all that wonderful business.” He shook his head and started to walk away from the table with his plate piled high. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t wish to, but I would like you too.” Acorn looked at Luka and smiled, while they both walked off together. Luka side-eyed them and lifted his mask slightly to eat easier. They smiled at one another after a moment, and after Luka gently slapped Acorn's hand for trying to steal a chocolate truffle, they walked onto a balcony to (hopefully) get some better privacy to talk with one another.

. . . <3

The two slightly moved their masks away from their faces, finally being able to breathe more comfortably and show their faces while in their own company. Acorn walked closer to the balcony and looked up at the sky, while Luka slowly picked at the desserts on his plate. “It’s beautiful.” Luka looked up, and swore his heart stopped at the sight ahead of him. Acorn was leaning over the balcony’s intricate stone banister, one leg tucked behind the other. Their tight bun was slightly undone, hair messy, but oh so… Elegant, is that the word? Even in the dim light of the moon shining down on them in their suit, and the band still heard playing, Luka could just stare. This moment felt too intimate. Even… even for just friends, silently pining. Acorn turned slightly, to look back at the other. “Don’t you think so?” Luka stuttered as he let out a held breath – since when did he stop breathing? He flubbed an agreement that seemed to satisfy Acorn, because they turned around and kept looking at the stars and constellations. Luka unknowingly kept admiring them, smiling to himself. He finished his dish and set it next to him as he got up to look at the stars next to Acorn. They stood there for a few minutes, pointing out constellations and enjoying each other’s company for a bit.

Luka looked over at Acorn, and his heart flipped. Oh how he wished he could just kiss them –

… Wait.

Oh. Oh.

Oh no.

He flushed red at the thought that he couldn’t quickly shoot down as he wanted to. He? And Acorn? His childhood best friend, who helped him through everything, even though they were the child of a mail carrier? He wanted to laugh, but the thought had crossed his mind too much as of late for his to even think about drawing an awkward chuckle from himself. They were just so… so perfect for him not to fantasize about what a relationship with them would be like. It would be a scandal for sure, but would anyone really mind? He saw the was his parents looked knowingly at him when he laughed a little too hard at one of Acorn insufferable puns and jokes. Even when the topic of this ball was brought up by an advisor, the King told him that it was really just a formality to “keep the bloodline alive”, and nothing more. Luka realized that he was probably staring, and cleared his throat slightly, looking back at the stars above. Then one of the band members – violin presumably – started a familiar refrain, as the other instruments slowly joined in.

Luka looked at Acorn, as they looked back at him. “You should probably… go grace somebody with you amazing dancing skills Luka.” They looked at the slightly ajar door they left open when they came out on the balcony. “I mean, some lucky lady is probably wanting to dace with you. Perhaps the one you were talking to for hours on end, hmm?” Though their voice had a teasing tone, Luka could tell that they didn’t want him to leave. Not yet.

Luka pretended to think it over, and grabbed their hand to pull them closer to him. “No, I don’t think I’ll leave just yet.” He chuckled, and dramatically leaned down to kiss Acorn's hand as they sputtered. “Care to join me for a dance, my dear?” Even in the dim lighting, Luka could tell that Acorn's face was probably scarlet at this point. Their mouth opened and closed for a moment, trying to find words without sounding like a fool, but eventually they just nodded their head. Luka smiled gently. “You don’t have to. I won’t mind if you refuse Acorn.” They stood their ground and shook their head, saying that they did want to dance. So, they got ready to waltz in time with the music.

Luka put his hand on Acorn's shoulder while Acorn put theirs on his waist. They clasped each other’s hand, and started swaying gently with the music. It was surprisingly more springy than they both remembered, but the pair started dancing slightly. They turned and swayed as the music continued, and slowed when the band quieted to let the singers… well, sing.

So, this is love

Mmm~

Luka hummed the words slightly as the pair subconsciously moved closer to one another. Acorn looked up at Luka slightly, eyebrow raised. Luka scoffed slightly. “We both know that we’ve been raised on this song, don’t give me that look.” Luka gently nudged the other, and Acorn chuckled.

So this, is love…

So this is what makes life, divine

Closer and closer still, the pair moved in tandem with one another, circling like two moons orbiting a forgotten planet. They swayed, with Luka gradually whispering the lyrics, enjoying himself. They both looked borderline ethereal to the other, both of them unbelieving of the sight they had.

“I’m all aglow, mmm

And now I know,”

“And now I know…” Acorn sang slightly, looking at Luka while he sang the verse before. They both seemed surprised that Acorn did that, but Luka recovered and muttered that they had a nice voice. Acorn flushed, and buried their face into Luka’s jacket, stuttering.

“The key to all heaven is mine…”

They harmonized with themselves and the singers inside the castle. They had stopped dancing altogether at this point, and had just started embracing each other instead. Acorn's head was on Luka’s shoulder, and Luka was staring ahead, head tilted slightly to clay. The pair still swayed gently, but it wasn’t to start dancing.

My heart has wings, mmm

And I can fly

I’ll touch every star in the sky…

Luka looked down to Acorn, and saw the peaceful expression they held. ‘They are right there,’ he heard himself scold. ‘Just kiss them, get it over with.’

So this is the miracle

That I’ve been dreaming of…

Mmm

They now faced one another and started slowly leaning together, their faces almost touching. Luka’s eyes fluttered closed as Acorn's glanced down at his lips.

Mmm

So this…

Is love.

The singer’s duet ended, and their lips finally connected. It felt like fireworks and explosions were going off, sparks dancing on their lips. As the two gripped each other tighter, they didn’t hear the pair of feet making their way towards them. “Your highness, you are–” The guard cut herself off as she realized what she had walked into unknowingly. The two parted quickly once her voice was heard, and Acorn tried to shuffle away from Luka slightly to try and at least pretend that they totally weren’t kissing, what? “I, I’m sorry your highness, I can come back–”

Luka shook his head, but never let go of Acorn. “No, no. What is it?” He inquired and put most of his attention to the distraction at hand, slightly disappointed. Acorn looked down at the ground, away from the guard, suddenly taking interest in a few pebbles on the surrounding stone.

The guard re-positioned herself. “The King wanted to see you sire, but I will just let him know that you are… Busy doing other things. I, uh. Hope I didn’t interrupt anything too maj– you know what? I’m just gonna…” The guard awkwardly walked off, shifting in her armor slightly, embarrassed that she walked in on the prince and the mail carrier having a moment together.

... "Wait, the mail carrier??"

Luka waited for a moment after she left, making sure the gentle clinks of her armor had faded completely. The pair stayed silent for a moment, before Acorn tried to shift away again. Luka pulled them to where they were originally in his arms and smiled mischievously. “Where do you think your going, lover?” He teased, laughing slightly as Acorn pretended to fight back. He grin became wider as he realized that Acorn had blushed darker. “Oh, did you like that dearest? Calling you ‘lover’?” Luka cooed at them, as Acorn gently swatted at him. “Just come here, sweetheart,” and with that last teasing pet name, he brought them into another kiss, less tentatively. He could feel Acorn smile as they let out a silent sigh and melt against him, knees weak. Luka pulled away slightly, and as Acorn's head followed the movement slightly, he whispered, “Don’t you think we should take this somewhere a little more private after the guard, you know…?” Acorn's knees fully gave out, and Luka hurriedly clung onto them as he felt how hot they were. He fussed over them for a second, hoping that they didn’t fully pass out.

They both chuckled for a moment after Acorn quickly recovered, and Acorn muttered something along the lines of “Kissing is just fine for now, anything more and I think I’ll die.” The two couldn’t contain their loud laughter at this remark, Luka’s laughter carrying on over Acorn's. He leaned over and gently pecked their cheek, saying how they didn’t want anyone to see them kissing again, and that he was sorry that he insinuated something more than kissing. Acorn pecked him back on his lips, and accepted the apology.

💛

(Little bonus scene! I didn’t really wanna write this out fully, but I kinda wanted to add what one of their fist meetings could be sknf -- enjoy!!)

Looking back on it, the Snatcher could hardly believe that he was so in… actual infatuation and love with a childhood friend that he could hardly believe that he could marry Vanessa. She was of course, fine at the start, but the lingering feelings for the pair never truly left their hearts. He shook his head, looking back down at his book, waiting for that kid – Hat Kid was it? Or was it Bow? – when a knock sounded on the tree bark. Snatcher sighed. “What do you want, ki–”

His sentence was abruptly cut off as he saw an all too familiar face in the entry way with Hat Kid behind them. “Hello your highness. Been a few years, hasn’t it?” Snatcher almost dropped his book as his jaw hung slightly. Acorn, in the flesh. Right there. Their clothes were much more casual to fit the modern times, and they carried a mail bag on their shoulder, with a mail carrier's cap in one of their hands.

Snatcher blinked a few times. “Yeah… 10, at least, huh sweetheart?” Acorn laughed loudly, and ran towards him. They embraced again, and finally after 200 years of waiting, wondering if the other was alive or not, Acorn peppered Snatcher’s face with kisses. There certainly wasn’t going to be any complaining about this for a while to say the least. Even from a ghost who always said he had a reputation to uphold.

#self shipping #self ship #oc x canon #self ship fic #self ship writing #dead.lawyer #beeans.art #humming #this took WAY too long #i am super happy with how it came out though. i got to be kinda cheesy smbdjd

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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Kids, Monsters, D&D, and Adults (Sriracha, Part. 18)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: You decided to give Hopper a short break from seeing you every day... But you didn't know how much can happen in your hometown in a week and a half you're gone.

A/N: And... Welcome Mr. Demogorgon disrupting everyone’s life on the stage, please, give it up for him! (Reader is on holiday in North Dakota during the events of the first season.)

A/N 2: I went a bit off the OG events, but here, I have drunk Hopper on the phone mumbling about being cursed for you, enjoy, please. Actually inspired by Heroes (Peter Gabriel's cover) - the song playing when they found Will's body.

Word count: 4.1 K

Tagging: @nemodoren, @creedslove

Master list: H E R E

Just as your mom asked you to, two days after the dinner at your parents’, Jim dropped you off at your house in the early morning. It was more or less safe since it was only five in the morning and Hawkins was dead asleep at the moment. You didn't want him to be alone, but he brushed you off with ’it's only twelve days, what can happen during that?’ and you reminded him of what you had done in twelve days, leaving him with a nasty grin.

You both almost fainted, because just in the middle of your heated making-out session, just as his hand palmed your thigh as you basically climbed onto his seat, your brother came out of the house along with Steve, grinning. Steve looked at both of you with confusion before turning around and disappearing.

Steve Harrington had a girlfriend now, or so you heard. Nancy Wheeler became to lucky one, at least that was what the rumors were saying. He couldn't forgive about the endless crush on you, though.¨

You told Hopper to leave for work before your mom sees him there, laughing as Aiden helped you with your stuff, greeting Hopper. He really did drive, honking at your parents, waving at them as he left for the station.

It was the third of November - you were supposed to see Hopper again on the sixteenth day of that month. And you were honestly ready to take a short break from the everlasting dishes and laundry at your house and just relax before coming back to the arms of the man you grew to adore.

To be honest, you loved your father’s parents’ house in North Dakota - it was a big house in the middle of nothing, ten minutes away from the nearest signs civilization. The sixteen-hours lasting road trip in your/Aiden's car was almost endless and it was hot like hell at whiles, but in the end, you loved the view more than anything.

You had also a lot of family members, like aunties and cousins your age there and you were excited to meet all of them after such a long time. You promised a call to Hopper as soon as you reach their house - and so you did, giving him the number as well. It was midnight, but you knew that he’s waiting for it. And of course, he picked up as soon as you started ringing, laughing like a small kid when you told him that he rather should go to sleep.

It was a quick call just to reassure you that he's fine - you asked him about food and laundry and he told you, with a chuckle, that you're worried too much and that he managed to survive forty years without you - that thirteen days is basically nothing.

Most of the days, you spent walking around in the wilderness. Your cousin Corrie showed you a pack of wild bison living near your grandparent’s house and a great overlook. Other days, you and your other cousin Jane helped your granny with baking and cooking or tiding up. Everyone was thrilled to have you there because they saw both you and Aiden once a year. They took you to the local cinema, for some shopping and even for a time at the local pool and local dance. You were enjoying yourself the most you could.

Everyone was surprised when someone asked you the typical question - ’And do you have a boyfriend already?’ - and your mom answered ’She, in fact, has. And it's a lovely lad.’, winking at you. She still wasn't okay with Hopper, it was only four days since the dinner, but she was slowly adjusting to the situation. They asked you a lot about that mysterious ’Jim’, but you never told them much about your man.

It came on the third day you were in Dakota - the sixth of November. You were just playing with your four-year-old cousin Marty, building Lego spaceships, when your grandma came into the room, holding a phone in her hand, handing you the handset.

“It’s some Mr. Hopper. He told me that he has to speak to you immediately. He told me that he knows you.” - She whispered while you put Jim on your ear, nodding. You let Marty play with the Lego and left to an empty room.

“Do you miss me that much, Mr. Hopper?” - You joked, but at the moment you heard Jim sighing, you knew that somethings extremely wrong in Hawkins. First, you thought that maybe he wants to break up with you - but then you remembered him asking about your panties yesterday when you called him around two a.m. and shook the thought off. - “What's going on, Jim? I'm here. Is it Vietnam? New York? Sara?”

“No, it's not that... I just... Jesus, I feel like I need to talk to someone and you're the only one who is goin’ to listen to me and actually understands.” - Okay, so Mr. Hopper was clearly drunk and smoking on the other end of the line, so you sat down on a sofa, exhaling slowly. - “Sometimes... I feel like shit, but you know that. But now, I feel fuckin' cursed, Y/N. And you're not here to stop me from doin’ shit.” - He giggled drunkenly and you stiffened. What was his fucking deal? Had something happened after you left Hawkins? Had Diane called? Did something happen at the station? Did Steve fucking Harrington tell someone what he saw? You swore to God...

“Jim, what you're after? I don't understand, baby, you need to tell me what's wrong.” - You mumbled back and looked at Aiden, who was just checking in on you. You mouthed ’Hopper’ and he nodded before closing up the door after him, telling everyone to keep off the line and out of the room.

“I'm a fuckin’ black hole, y’ know? All the fuckin’ shit that ever happened in Hawkins... It follows me. The last case of person goin’ missin’ happened in the summer of ’23 and the last suicide here was on the fall of ’61, y’ know?” - He asked you rhetorically and you just kept on being silent, trying to decipher the meaning of his entire speech.

“And when I find someone or somethin’ I can fight for or when I feel safe for a minute, it all goes to shit after a while, it all just fuckin' goes to shit.” - Jim said and you could hear him crying.

“Will you tell me what happened finally? You're freaking me out, Jim.” - You asked silently, playing with the hem of your sweater. Hopper was clearly angry and terrified of something - he would probably get drunk even if you were in Hawkins. His voice was emotionless, he was playing the tough guy card at the moment.

“A kid got lost today.” - He answered honestly and your breath got stuck a bit, but you kept your damn mouth shut since you could hear him taking a breath to continue. - “I thought he has just wandered off the main road or somethin’ but it really looks like that kid’s missin’. It's the Byers boy, that younger one.” - He told you and you closed your eyes. No wonder he felt like shit when a kid got lost in the woods, probably.

“Have you found something, Jim? Don't be angry or sad, there's still hope.” - You whispered, watching your cousin Diane in the same age little Will was playing outside with a ball.

You knew Joyce Byers from occasionally visiting Melvald’s in the downtown. You remember the day you walked in and while you were handing her the cash, she pointed out on a drawing of a big rainbow spaceship and proudly, she said ’My son Will drew this.’ You knew her boys from meeting them sometimes. The brothers were a bit weird, but when a kid goes missing, you don't care if they were weird or not.

You just want to find them as quickly as possible.

"A bike if that's what you wanna call 'a find'." - Hopper mouthed back and you could hear him crying, he just couldn't handle the situation anymore. It was breaking your heart to hear him being this much fucked up. You wanted to hug him, press your body onto his, hold him tight and whisper him sweet nothings. You wanted to kiss him and make things right at least for a second.

"James Hopper, you better listen to me right now. You're the best cop I've ever seen. Stop whining, go to sleep now and you're going to find this fucking kid because that kid is lost somewhere in the woods, it's freezing to death, it's terrified and alone, you hear me?" - You said aggressively, being completely done with him and his self-shaming shit at that point. - "You won't duck out and you will make me proud."

You talked to him until the moment he really fell asleep, walking out of the empty room after the phone went silent. There were emptiness and horror inside of you. Will Byers got lost and your boyfriend promised himself to find him. You were destroyed, tired and worried for Jim, but you encouraged him enough to trust in himself. Or at least you thought so.

"What happened? Is Hopper doing okay?" - Your mom asked with a furrow as soon as you entered the door and you shook your head, looking at her with terror. They were just having a huge family dinner outside your granny's house, everyone from the family came to greet you.

"A kid went missing in Hawkins. You remember that little Byers? He always rode the bike with his friends, they were inseparable." - You mumbled and your mom only let out quiet 'Oh God' to summarize the whole situation. She went on a and gave Joyce a call - to tell her not to lose hope in finding Will.

You haven't left the house for the other two days - Hopper could call literally every minute and almost everyone got invested in that kid going missing. You missed a few cool trips here and there, but Hopper hadn't disappointed; he gave you heads up every few other hours. And you even laughed at times which you definitely didn't expect - like the time when it came to talking with Will's best friends.

"You wouldn't believe how bad I am with kids, these little fuckers were just fuckin' around with me, talkin’ about Lord of the Rings and stuff... Jesus." - Hopper mumbled with a quiet chuckle, lighting up another cigarette. He was calling you from a telephone booth and left Powell with Callahan in his Blazer, and according to his words, those men watched his every move. You chuckled at that. Jim really took your words directly to his heart, doing his best to save the damn kid. He was not giving up on that boy.

To find what happened, he talked with his best friends and the way he told you the investigation was going was so hilarious it made you laugh like crazy.

"No way. Jim Hopper is good at everything." - You hummed back and crossed your legs, thinking about some really nasty things.

"Am I? At what exactly, I can't seem to remember." - He asked in his deep voice and you knew that it's about to go really nasty. You yelled at your mom to get off the phone immediately through the whole fucking house just to have some privacy. Hopper, again, chuckled at that.

"Like... I don't know, folding clothes?" - You asked innocently still worrying that your mom's listening to that conversation. But as soon as you heard her yelling something at your cousins, you knew she really got off. - "After you tear it down off of me."

"Someone's in the mood to play, I see. I would like to stay and hear you foldin' your clothes, but the boys are in a hurry." - Jim whispered, yelling something at the two cops.

"Jim?" - You asked and you got only a hum as a response. - "Be safe out there, okay?"

"I'm missin' you here. I'm lookin' forward to seeing you." - He answered and the line got quiet again. You missed him as well, but in the end, you had only eight days in front of you. What could go wrong? And that was a dumb question to ask.

Well, a lot could go wrong actually, since the other day, Hopper's calls got less and less frequent until they stopped completely. It was the ninth of November when mom woke you up really late in the night. He handed you over the handset, making you sit up

"It's Hopper and he was really... Weird. It seems urgent. He was ringing the number fifteen minutes in a row." - She whispered and sat next to you on the bed, hugging your shoulder. It didn't matter how old Hopper was or what reputation did he have. He needed just as a human being needs another one to lean into. He needed you as a partner and no matter how stressful that was, you wanted to be there for him. And your mom understood that clearly.

"Jim, Jim, it's me." - You mumbled sleepily and listened to him hyperventilating. He was crying again, but he was trying to calm down now. He sometimes woke up with these panic attacks. Something went awfully off the rails in Hawkins. This wasn't the Jim you grew to know and love. - "Baby, stay here with me, let's do this together. Breathe in and out, just like that, that's it, that's it. In and out."

"We found the boy." - He muttered out when he calmed down finally. sobbing. He may pretend to be the rough edge guy, but you knew that's the exact opposite of his character when no-one can see him. He didn't get too friendly with people in Hawkins, but he cared about each one of them. That's why he was the Chief in the end.

"And what happened? Is everyone alright? Is he safe now?" - You asked and mouthed 'They found Will' to your mom. You were about to cry as well - he was making such heart-wrenching sounds that only that alone made your eyes water.

"He drowned in the quarry." - Hopper told you, lighting up a cigarette. - "He was decomposed, but the guys from the CIA told us that it's the boy for sure. Jesus." - And that was the moment you started to cry, putting a palm in front of your mouth. It wasn't hard to make out what had happened to little Will Byers.

"How's everyone doing? What about Joyce? Do you want me to come back? Just say a word and I'm on my way back, just like that." - You asked when you finally caught your breath. Your mom was holding you tight because it really had shocked you and she was also listening to everything Hopper said. She kissed your shoulder, closing her eyes. You have never spoken to that kid, but... He was so young. And according to Joyce really bright and creative. This wasn't fair. This just wasn't fair. He had a whole life ahead and now, it was just gone. Hopes were lost just like that. You felt the cold and emptiness growing in your chest again.

"No... Just stay there until I know it's safe here again, alrite? We'll be workin' with some guys from the state for a while now, closing the case up. " - Hopper told you sincerely and you hummed, crying again. - “The boy has a funeral tomorrow. I feel like this is on me, you know? Everyone was believin' that Jim fuckin' Hopper, the New York detective, will find the Byers boy alive and well... It's my fault."

"This doesn't mean you're a bad cop, Jim, okay?" - You asked him after a while when you made yourself calm down. - "This doesn't mean you suck at your job, baby. Don't put yourself down, you're a great cop and even a better person. The boy... It isn't your fault. I swear. We'll talk about it once I get back to Hawkins, okay?" - You asked worriedly. - "Please, send Joyce my deepest condolences. I'm..."

Hopper needed to be strong and so you needed to be strong as well. For him. You'd do everything for that man. If he would want you to go back to Hawkins immediately, you would go.

"Just keep out of Hawkins until I secure it again. If somethin' would go wrong with you, I don't think... I'm just really missin' you, sunshine." - Hopper mumbled tiredly and you understood. He needed to be alone, so you put the phone off the bed, looking at your mom. Hopper didn't cause this, but you knew he's going to put himself down horrendously after that. A boy's life was lost, but Hopper wasn't the one to blame.

But the worst thing about all of that? He hadn't called after that, not even once. You tried to occupy yourself with hikes and board games with your cousins, even playing some D&D, but there weren't any calls from Hopper from that day on. No matter how hard you wished for them, he hadn't call you. You called into the trail many times, but no-one had picked up.

That was the exact moment you had enough. If he was in danger, you wouldn't leave him like that, whether something bad happened to him or if it was his mind again.

You decided to come home earlier to check on him, which your mom agreed with. The sixteen-hours long drive with your car was horrendous, to say the least, but that very night, you stopped in front of Hopper's trail, basically storming inside. It was dark and empty, but you still hoped that Hopper left you a key under the mossy rock. It really was there.

You stopped yourself for a small moment before actually opening the door up, trying to prepare yourself for what will be inside of that trail. You almost threw up next to the stairs, opening the door finally. And for the fucking love of God, there was some serious mess inside of that trail.

You walked through it and saw at least a few tubes of Tuinal, each one of them empty, remnants of various fast food, beer cans, and full ashtrays literally everywhere. The furniture was messed up, the phone ripped out of the wall, TV laying on the side. The place looked robbed and for a moment, you got really, really worried.

Hopper wasn't nowhere to be found, so the last thing you could do was to sit and wait for him. While doing so, you decided to clean it up and cook some actual food. Before moving the furniture back in place, you checked the drawers, not finding his personal gun. Where was he and why did he take the gun with him?

He drove in pretty late in the night, it was almost midnight; you took a nap on the couch in the meantime, being dead asleep by the time he turned the engine off.

Hopper was thinking that he's hallucinating when he saw your car parked directly on its spot, but then he saw the turn on the light and you passed out in front of the TV through the window.

He took a deep breath in - he just came back from the Hawkins lab, closing another deal with them including Joyce and WIll, and he needed to think about what should he tell you. He wasn't willing to try his chances with telling you the truth; as he said, he wouldn't put you in danger under any circumstances and the men from the government weren't fucking around with anyone. He needed to come up with a story that would be believable and easy to swallow, but at the moment, he was just too tired to think of one. Jim slowly entered the trail, taking the coat off, putting it on a rack, trying not to wake you up yet.

You were beautiful when you fell asleep - your cheeks got rosy, you snuggled deep into the blanket, having a dreamy emotion on your face. He kneeled behind the couch, kissing your temple and smoothing your hair, gently waking you up.

"You're here sooner." - Jim whispered with a smile when you opened up your eyes. He just needed you by his side, no matter what anyone in Hawkins is going to say. Fuck them and fuck the rumors. It was safe now, you were his girl and everyone else could go fuck themselves.

"And you stopped calling. I was worried." - You mumbled, nuzzling closer to his hand, reaching out to hold the other one. - "Where were you? It's really late."

"Was visiting Joyce's, she needed someone to talk to. I would be here sooner if you'd give me heads up." - Hopper kissed your temple again, helping you with standing up. He watched one of those lazy smiles.

"How's she? Feeling better after Will..." - You whispered in a broken voice. Oh. Hopper realized that you still thought that Will has drowned in the quarry. He hadn't got exactly the time to call you since he was held at the lab of driving around Hawkins with children in his Blazer most of the time.

"The boy was found alive, thanks to God. He's in the hospital and he's gettin' better and better with each passin' day. He's a fighter." - Jim said quietly and tried not to put too much emotion into it, but you knew that it's making him happy. He led you through the whole trail, kissing your collar bone though the fabric of the shirt once you were standing up in the bedroom. - "I've missed you so fuckin' much." - The man moaned into the fabric of his very own shirt and just when he was about to lay you down, you stopped him and palmed his jaws, making the man look at you.

"I'm proud of you, Jim Hopper." - You said quietly with an adoring look in your eyes. Hopper would swear that he hasn't seen so much awe and love in someone's eyes until you gave him this look. - "You are a great man. And I can't imagine being in Hawkins without you." - You whispered and pulled him in for a kiss.

You gave him many kisses, but this one was somehow full of feelings and Jim warmed up when he felt the love radiating out of it. For a while, the thought of him saying those three words was lingering on his mind as you took off the shirt, pressing your naked torso into the fabric of his uniform.

It would be so easy to say them. Every time he called you to Dakota, you were there and listened to every word; you laughed when you were supposed to laugh and you were sad when you were supposed to be sad. To say that he found everything he asked for was just too little to express everything about you.

You continued with kissing him, not leaving him alone in that freezing night for a single second. Nothing felt better than having you back and at that moment, he first realized that he's in love with you. It never crossed his mind so clearly. He was deeply in love. But he didn't want to ruin the moment, so he helped you with taking your pants down.

It didn't matter how smelly he was, it didn't matter that he had a huge bruise on his arm, the only thing that mattered was it was him. That it was him staying there with you.

And you realized how much you've fallen for that guy. It was the best feeling you've ever felt.

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