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sinofwriting · 1 day

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Homecoming - Oscar Piastri/Reader/Logan Sargeant

Words: 3,290 Summary: She hasn’t seen them since April and she can only hope that they aren’t mad that she lied to them. Note(s): Thank you @casperlikej for this commission! Had a lot of fun writing it! NSFW. Takes place in 2023. Reader is in the military. Reader is an American, who also somewhat grew up in the UK, but it’s all very vague. Also, don’t surprise people in showers, injuries can and will happen.

Taglist | Masterlist | Emergency Dental Fund | Part of Sin's 5k & B-Day Celebration

“I’m sorry.” She apologizes. “It’s okay, baby.” Logan says. Oscar nods, but there’s worry in his eyes. “Is everything okay?” She nods, “yeah, they just gave me the wrong date. It wasn’t until I was talking to my CO about leaving that they realized. I should’ve said something sooner.” “It happens.” Oscar tells her and she can see through the computer screen the way his fingers twitch, obviously wanting to reach out, and her heart aches.

She misses them so much, both her boys. Hasn’t seen them since April when China got canceled and they both managed to get away from their teams to see her. But she hasn’t really seen them since last year, since 2022, when Oscar was just a reserve and Logan was in F2 with their weird spotty schedule. They didn’t have as many race dates or things to attend. They had spent so much time with her then.

“Do they have your next date for leave?” She shakes her head. “Not yet. I think they’re trying to figure out how they gave me the wrong date.” She shrugs. “But it could mean I get some extra time.” Oscar snorts but Logan nods. “You’ll let us know as soon as you can?” “Of course, Lo. As soon as they tell me, I’ll text you. Have a good day, though, both of you.” Both their noses wrinkle but they nod.

And with I love you’s exchanged, she hangs up, looking at the packed suitcase next to her. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too mad that she lied.

—

Being in the military wasn’t exactly something she planned on. Not as a little girl, not as a preteen and not at fifteen when she discovered she liked both her best friends.

But then she was seventeen wanting to apply to different colleges and programs and her parents had to sit down and tell her that while they had this nice house and the family home in Florida and cars and she hadn’t really wanted for anything, that was all they had. They didn’t have enough money for her to apply to three colleges, let alone the near twenty she wanted to.

It had been a fight instantly. Because she didn’t know what she wanted to do. And for the past year they had been telling her that it was okay and that she’d have college to figure that out and it had been a lie. She remembers throwing things in a bag and going to Oscar’s brand-new place, because he was already eighteen and his parents wanted him to be comfortable.

She remembers throwing herself in his arms and then Logan’s because of course Logan was also there. Remembers crying because it kind of felt like her world was ending. She remembers the way they both had soothed her, held her, let her rage and sob. She remembers the way after when she was more calmed down, the shock gone from her system, they presented a bunch of options for her.

Working with them, working for Oscar’s dad, working for Logan’s uncle, doing this in college and that, just something, anything that sounded appealing and she can remember how she shook her head after every option and how despite that they didn’t get frustrated or angry, they just said okay before offering another until they ran out of things to offer.

It was her uncle, though he wasn’t really her uncle, that told her she should think about the military. She laughed at first thinking he was joking, but he hadn’t laughed with her, instead looked at her seriously.

“You know that I served.” And she had nodded, she had faint memories of being in elementary school or even younger back in Florida and seeing him in uniform, medals and ribbons on his chest. “And you know I’ve said a lot about it. Never kept quiet.” “Rock and a hard place.” He smiled for a second at her words before looking all serious again. “Exactly. What I’m saying is, it’s an option. And nowadays, your contracts aren’t as long depending on the branch like when I enlisted and I’ve got friends.” “I don’t think I’ll like it.” He laughed at her words. “No one knows if they’ll like it until they are in it. Just think about it. It’s something and it will give you time, paid time, to figure out what you really want to do.”

And she had thought about it. She thought about the pros and the cons, how the cons outweigh the pros for her and she nearly didn’t go through with it because of Logan and Oscar. Because they just had to confess to her, tell her that they liked her, wanted to be with her and how could she not tell them the same when it was true? She couldn’t. She had nearly called it good, happy to bounce between them playing personal assistant or social media admin or something, they didn’t really know what she’d do going back and forth, but then she saw her uncle again, a week before she turned eighteen.

He hadn’t said anything, hadn’t brought it up, hadn’t even mentioned the military. But just seeing him reminded her of their conversation, of the way she spent hours upon hours after considering it.

Seeing him made her realize she had to go through with it.

She doesn’t really remember telling Logan and Oscar her decision. She remembers how they reacted, both surprised, unaware she had been considering it. Logan had been understanding, but he was from America just like her, he had family in the service. Oscar didn’t understand, couldn’t understand why. It hadn’t been a fight, not that she remembered, but she knew that her decision had nearly broken them that day.

—

“You reenlisting?” Her uncle's voice is gruff. “No, sir.” He grumbles, lips twitching into a smile. “Good. And don’t call me sir. You in reserves now?” She nods. “As of last week.” “Logan and Oscar know?” She throws him a look. “Why would you be driving me to Vegas if they knew?” He laughs. “Fair. They’re doing good, right? In their Formula One thing?” She smiles, “Yeah, they’re doing alright. Did you like COTA?” He shrugs, merging onto the freeway. “Didn’t understand it, but it was alright. Beer was overpriced.” “Always is at events.” “I remember when you could get a six-pack,” he starts and she mouths along with him, having heard this since she was ten, unable to not smile as she does so. “What?” He asks, seeing her smile. “Nothing.” She tells him. “Just happy to see you haven’t changed.”

—

Vegas is annoying, she decides as she waves her uncle off, the older man having decided to stick around and try his luck at one of the casinos. Or rather the traffic currently in Vegas is annoying.

Pulling out her phone she texts Benny letting him know that she’s at the hotel. Looking around she smiles at all the lights and people milling around. She’d give Vegas this, it was pretty cool to look at.

“Y/N!” She turns her head, smiling at Logan’s trainer. “You got here early!” He chuckles, pulling her into a hug that she returns with one arm, still having a hand on her suitcase. “We made good time. Switched off driving, so saved us a bit from having to stop really.” He pats her on the back before letting her go. “But it was good.” She nods. “All good. How are you? How are the kids?” He grins. “They’re good, amazing, really. Excited that the season is ending and I’ll be home.” “Logan was telling me that you aren’t going to be his trainer next season.” Benny sighs, looking sad as they step foot into the hotel. “The kids are getting older, I want to be there more. If there was a way I could stay on, but not have to go to all the races I would. I love the kid, he’s like one of mine.”

She looks at him considering. She’d been around Logan and Oscar for ten years now, had been around their trainers for over five years, seeing what they did had made it easy for her to choose her degree that the military paid for while she served a year after she joined.

“Maybe you could.” His eyebrow raises. “I have a degree in sports medicine.” “But you have a year left.” She shakes her head. “That last year is reserves, unless we are going to war and all the active reserves have been called, I’m not going back in.” “Logan didn’t say.” “They don’t know.” Benny makes a weird huff sound, shaking his head. “You're going to knock them off their feet this weekend.” She laughs. “Maybe. Just talk to Sarah about it first, I’ll follow you around this weekend and next and we can talk about it with Logan.” “I don’t have to talk about it with Sarah, she’d be thrilled, she wasn’t fond of the idea in the first place. And Logan…” He shakes his head. “If you think Logan won’t be jumping at the idea of having you around twenty-four seven, you’ve lost it.” “Still! Talk about it with Sarah first, just in case.”

He shakes his head, but agrees, handing her a key card as they stop in front of a hotel room door. “This is their room. Gentle with them.” “Kim ask you to relay that message as well?” “Yes.” She laughs, nodding. “I will. Promise.” He rolls his eyes, but there’s a grin on his face. “Go. I’ll see at least two of you tomorrow.” “Bye Benny. Thank you again for helping me.” “Of course.”

She watches as he walks down the hallway before taking out his own key card and entering his hotel room, just a few rooms down. Turning back to face the hotel room door, excitement starts to fill her. She was finally going to see them, be with them.

Pressing the key to the reader, she holds her breath as she waits for the door to unlock, breathes again when it does and she twists the door knob, letting herself in.

The door swings open quietly and her feet and suitcase make no noise against the carpet as she steps inside. There’s the faint sound of the shower running and music playing, and a large smile spreads across her lips. This was the routine she was used to, that hadn’t changed. Them coming back to their hotel room or when finally checking in, getting what they needed put away if they were staying long enough and then putting on some music and hopping in the shower.

The door closes with a small click as she shuts it, kicking off her shoes next to Oscar’s and Logan’s as she does. She hopes as she puts her suitcase next to Logan’s, that the shower is big enough for the three of them, but they’ve made do with some fairly small showers before.

Stepping further into the hotel room, she nearly giggles at the song playing, able to hear it clearly now with the way the bathroom door isn’t completely closed. She loves them so much.

Spotting the dirty clothes bag she bought Oscar for Christmas last year as a stock stuffer, right by the bathroom door, propped against the wall and already filled with a pair of jeans, shorts, shirts and socks, she adds her own pants, shirt, underwear and socks. A quiet sigh leaving her when she takes her bra off, which she carefully places on the back of an armchair.

The bathroom tiles are warm underneath her feet and she lets out a little oh, having expected them to be cold.

Her eyes dart to the sink where the large mirror behind is covered in steam, but her eyes quickly leave it to settle on the shower.

It’s big, maybe just big enough for the three to fit in, but she can’t focus on that because Oscar and Logan are there. She can’t see much, the glass of the shower just as covered in steam as the mirror, but she can see the shapes of their bodies, close together, holding each other as the water hits them.

Taking a deep breath, she steps towards the shower door. She shivers as her fingertips press against the glass before fingers move to open it and poking her head in, voice soft as she looks at them. “Room for one more?” She watches as they separate, Oscar turning to look at her, and they both look at her with confusion and shock, before wide smiles take over their entire faces, eyes shining with happiness.

Oscar the closer of the two reaches forward and she quickly steps in, nearly slipping in her hurry, but Oscar has an arm around her before she can, tucking her into his chest, as Logan shuffles around. The door to the shower closes with a slight noise before his arms are around her as well.

Tension immediately leaves her body at the feeling of them both, and tears start to slip from her eyes. “I missed you guys so much.” “We missed you too, baby.” “So much.” Oscar echoes, arms tightening around her before loosening and she’s being pulled away slightly. She wants to protest, but then his lips are on hers and she moans, sinking into his kiss.

“Lo,” she whines when Oscar stops kissing her, lips tingling. Oscar chuckles, the sound rich and so familiar it wants to make her cry again, but she’s being turned around and Logan is kissing her, his palms cupping her cheeks. “I missed this so much.” Logan breathes against her lips. “Missed the three of us so much.” “Never again.” She tells him, tells Oscar, tells them. “Never again. I don’t have to go back, I’m in inactive reserves and I’m not reenlisting. I’m yours, both of yours.” The words come out in a rush, nearly tripping over each other, but she can’t wait, can’t have them thinking that this will just be a short reunion before she has to leave them again. “Thank god.” Logan breathes before pressing their lips together. “Thank god.” He murmurs again when they separate before she’s turned around to face Oscar again, who practically swallows her whole.

His lips are insistent on hers as his hands clutch at her hips, fingers digging painfully and she hopes that he leaves bruises, wishes that he’d make his grip even tighter, knows he can. She tries to pull away, to ask him to, but he keeps following her lips. Like if he isn’t kissing her, she’ll disappear, so she stops trying. Lets him kiss her, moans when Logan’s lips land on her shoulder, pressing kisses that trail up to the top of it and along the shell of her ear before trailing back down.

“We,” she gasps when Oscar finally stops kissing her, though his lips instead fall to her breasts going between the two, unable to decide which one he wants to give attention to more. “We can’t do this in here.”

The next moments are a blur as they scramble out of the shower, out of the bathroom and tumble into bed, soaking the duvet, pillows, and sheets with their wet naked bodies. It’s a blur of lips on hers, on her body, of fingers pressing and pulling. She remembers clearly the first press of fingers into her body, of Oscar’s tongue laving at her, of the kiss Logan and Oscar shared between her thighs. It blurs with her first and second orgasm.

She remembers clearly as well, the first sink of Oscar’s cock into her, her back to his chest as he laid down, the way he pressed all the way into her, not letting her adjust. She doesn’t remember the apparent fumble for lube or the first two fingers that Logan had carefully sunk into her alongside Oscar’s cock. She remembers the stretch of his three fingers and Oscar’s cock, and finally the stretch of him sinking into her as well. The near painful stretch of having both of them inside her at the same time, in the same hole.

Her mind is still blurry, still coming down from pleasure when they finally break the silence of just trying to catch their breaths and music still playing from the bathroom.

“That was so good.” She makes a small noise in agreement. “You felt so good.” Oscar says, kissing her shoulder and she shudders at the feeling. “You both did.” And she can hear the sound of Oscar kissing Logan. “Logan’s gonna hold you now, okay.” Oscar tells her as she still lays somewhat on top of him. “Both of your legs are shaking.” That makes her blink and look down, swallowing hard because she hadn’t even realized hers were shaking. “And I need to clean you up and get some water for all us, okay?” She nods.

Despite him telling her that, she still nearly whines when he moves out from under her, but he quickly pushes her into Logan’s arms who eagerly holds her close. She hadn’t seen if his legs were shaking as well like Oscar said, but she doubts it with the way Logan manages to turn her around in his arms and pull her so she’s on top of him, her breasts pressed against his chest just the way he likes.

“Love you so much, baby.” Logan murmurs into her hair. “You were so good for us. Just fell apart over and over again. Gave us five orgasms.” She makes a surprised sound. That didn’t sound right. “A whole five, baby. It was fucking amazing.” She nuzzles into his neck and he continues speaking, knowing the sound and feeling is soothing.

He stops when Oscar comes back, making a tutting noise at how they are positioned which makes her mumble Logan’s name and Oscar runs a hand down her calf.

“I know, darling. You’re alright. You though,” and she can picture the way Oscar is looking at Logan, pointing a finger at him. “How am I supposed to clean you up?” She feels Logan shrugs as best as he can with her on top of him. “The way you usually do.” The younger makes a huffing sound but is quiet. She can feel his breath against her leg as he most likely bends.

Logan makes a small noise and she kisses his neck. “Cold?” “No, it’s warm.” He reassures her. She hums and when it’s her turn she doesn't even jolt at the feeling of the washcloth running over her most sensitive parts and her thighs. “Alright, you two, you both got to sit up to drink some water.” Oscar says, as he climbs back into bed with them. Logan grumbles and she turns her head to watch as Oscar gets comfy with his back against the headboard, three water bottles on his nightstand.

He’s still naked, probably not even thinking of pulling on underwear or sweats on and it makes her want to curl up in his lap. He seems to feel her eyes on him because he smiles, all soft, sweet, fond and he’s opening his arms and she carefully moves off Logan to do what she thought about it.

Her head rests on his shoulder, as she sits sideways on his lap, facing Logan, who watches them both with that awestruck look of his as he sits up and scoots closer until him and Oscar are sitting side by side and he can draw her feet into his lap, stilling letting her stay curled up in Oscar’s lap, but getting some contact with her.

“Love you both.” “We love you too.”

@darleneslane @copper-boom @eutrizbea @kimmib13 @elliegrey2803 @stopeatread @hiireadstuff @tallrock35

#loscar x reader #oscar piastri x reader x logan sargeant #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #f1 smut #formula 1 smut #sins 5k bday bash fics

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writerpetals · 3 days

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tender | 🔞

; optional male lead smut | ☁️

a/n: this was a poly relationship smut i wrote years ago, but since i don't write actual names, i had to call them SOMETHING to differentiate the two male characters, thus they've been dubbed protective boyfriend and cautious boyfriend. haha anyway, it's more difficult obviously to write two unnamed love interests... and as a writer and reader i hate repetitiveness most of the time... but times like this it calls for it haha anyway pick two male leads for this one~ ^_^

One is The Cautious boyfriend. Always careful with his words, his actions. He keeps a close eye, studying situations before acting and guarding himself as well as the two people he cares for most.

The other one is The Protective boyfriend. Hot-headed at times, but only because his heart is too big for his chest and words just sometimes won’t do the poor thing justice.

Both care deeply for you as well as one another, and you aren’t sure how you have gotten so lucky to have the two in your life. Especially at times when you are at your worst. When the days are too long and you feel too weak, too broken down and worn out to do anything but curl up in your bed with blankets and pillows covering every inch of your body.

“How are you feeling?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Do you need anything?”

They are so attentive, even in your worst of moods, asking questions they hope they will get more than a few mumbles for, with one situating himself behind you, hand on your back to rub gentle circles through the sheets, and the other making his way to gently pull the pillows from around your head.

You blink, adjusting to the harsh sunshine filling your room that will soon fade when the sun sets behind the trees. It’s only a moment before you try to bury your head in your hands to shield your face.

“Are you going to do anything but moan and groan?” The protective one sighs after asking, irritation in his voice and if you didn’t know any better, you would assume it’s toward you.

But you do know better, you know him better than that, and that is the tone that tells you he is worrying just a little too much, feeling like there is nothing he can do for you. You hear a huff from the one behind you, and you know he is shaking his head at his boyfriend, knowing he will get nowhere by being so pushy when you’re in such a mood.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he assures you, leaning closer from behind and you have to admit his warm voice in your ear makes you feel just a little bit more comfort.

“It’s not okay.” You can hear the glare in his tone as he speaks, knowing his eyes are narrowed toward the man behind you. “You need to eat. Get up. Change clothes. You’ll feel better.”

“Just,” you begin, huffing and rolling over on your back, “let me be sad in peace, please.”

The Protective one tsks.

The Cautious one sighs.

You know there is no way either of them are going to leave you be.

“Alright, that’s it.” Suddenly you’re standing from the bed, The Protective one earning your gaze once again as you watch him peel the covers from your body. “Let’s go.” Your puffy eyes widen, noticing the other leave your side as if he knows the plan without speaking. In a moment he is gone, disappearing from the room just before an arm reaches for you, scooping you up to his body, with your grip immediately finding his neck once he lifts you from the bed.

“Wait!” you whine. “Hold on!” There is no use. The Protective boyfriend guides you from the bedroom, through the living room, and finally settles you down next to your other boyfriend as he stands in the bathroom, all the while you pull and tug and whimper for him to release you.

The water has already been running by the time the two of you enter, a hot steaming shower awaiting your presence and even though you are in no mood to be pampered by your boyfriends, not many complaints leave your lips when they begin to undress you. Deep down you know it’s for the best. You know they care, and they want you to take care of yourself. If they can’t help you mentally, they make it clear they will help you physically.

One reaches for your t-shirt, one that is two sizes too big that you stole from him, and begins to pull it over your head. The other follows with slipping his fingers into the band of your shorts to push the fabric down your legs, along with the panties you had on beneath.

The both of them leave you bare, standing between the two as they remove their own clothing, pulling shirts over their heads, slipping boxers to the floor, and soon they are guiding you with gentle hands into the shower.

The moment the hot water hits your skin in beads of pure bliss, you can’t stop yourself from moaning. The Protective one pulls you toward his chest while making sure to give The Cautious one ample room to reach for the melon-scented body wash to fill your loofa as he stands behind you.

He begins lathering your shoulders, soapy suds cascading down the front of your body, over your breasts and stomach, just as the other places a finger beneath your chin to cause you to stare into his eyes.

“Please take care of yourself, sweetheart,” he tells you in a whisper, almost unable to hear the caring words beneath the shower. Each careful syllable grabs you by the heart, knowing how much each of them love you and want to help.

You say nothing in reply, only lowering your eyes. Part of you is ashamed for reaching this point, but the rest knows how many times you have been in this position before. Your mental health doesn’t care and there’s no reasoning with it. In the moment, you feel even luckier to have them.

He understands your thoughts from reading your expression. There’s no need to reply. If you’re used to their care in times like this, they’re used to knowing what to do to urge you on a better path of helping yourself. In an instant his lips are on yours, pressing soft kisses against your skin to ease all the worries, or at least offer a distraction from the thoughts in the moment, while The Cautious one takes extra care in running the sponge over your shoulders, back, and all the way down to your ass.

“Feeling better, baby?” His tone is softer than before when he grew fed up with how cruel your mind can be to you, hands reaching to cup your breasts softly, tender strokes over your erect nipples causing your jaw to slack.

All you can do is nod in response just as you feel the boyfriend behind you begin to slip the sponge between your thighs, parting your legs and caressing slowly, gently over your folds. A gasp fills the shower to mix with the stream beating softly against your skin. He lingers for too long once he’s dropped the sponge, pressing against your clit a second later to have you reaching for the one in front to brace yourself with a grip against his shoulders.

“Just relax, baby,” he comforts you, leaning in closer to press a quick peck against your forehead. “Let us take care of you.”

He brushes his fingers over your slit instead to have your eyes shutting tight, only concentrating on the way he eases all the tension from your body with a simple touch. You can’t help but to push your hips back, asking him for more without saying a word thanks to the way the other’s lips find your own once again. You moan against his skin, overwhelmed by the two of them so suddenly once fingertips are pressed to your clit, drawing circles over the flesh.

Your legs are trembling in no time, melting between the two at their affection and care, whimpering each of their names to earn their groans of approval, rocking your hips against the hand between your legs to invite him to take it a step further.

And he obliges, easing his fingers toward your entrance to dip into the pooling arousal so carefully, so slowly, that all you can do is push your body back, slipping down onto the digits until your moans are the only thing hitting their ears. He buries his fingers deep, receiving a whimper of his name in response that only begs him for more, giving him the approval to begin pumping his fingers in and out of your dripping heat.

Your head falls back, inviting The Protective boyfriend’s mouth to every inch as he kisses, and licks, and sucks the skin tenderly, earning breathless moans filling the shower. It isn’t until he decides to also lower his hand down your body do your eyes open once again to see the smirk on his lips. His fingers delve between your thighs to tend to your clit as the one from behind works his own in and out of your tightening walls.

Together the two of them have you quivering between their bodies. Their fingers both pleasuring you have you on edge, nails digging into the skin of a muscular shoulder in front of you, and when the one behind leans into your body to nip at the delicate flesh of your earlobe, it only adds to the bliss swelling inside of you.

“You’re so tight, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear, voice deep and needy until he’s chuckling at the way you clench around his fingers from growing too close to release. “Are you going to come soon, baby? God, you’re so wet.”

You can’t respond. Even beneath the shower’s stream you can hear the messy noises he makes as he pumps his fingers inside of you, proving his words to be true. The sound mixes with your own moans, whimpers of their names, hushes curses beneath your breath.

Their actions leave you speechless, legs threatening to close around both of their hands as your entire body grows too sensitive. Every brush of fingers against your clit has your knees wanting to buckle. Each time the other pushes his own fingers deep within you to have you crying out. And with their mouths against your skin, peppering kisses and teasing with their tongues, stars cloud your vision with the pleasure that takes over every inch of your body.

You nearly double over as the waves of electricity course through you, thankful the broad chest in front of you is available to grow limp against while their fingers never slow their pace. You whimper their names mixed with curses, again and again, shaking in their holds, feeling their continued motions until you are too spent, too beyond weak to function.

When they each pull away, you feel a sense of relief in the way they never fail to take care of you. Even if it’s a temporary solution to clear your mind so you can tell them what’s bothering you, you’re thankful for it. Before you know it, one shuts the water off, the other grabs a clean towel to dry you off, and each of them help you step out of the shower and guide you to the bedroom to dress you.

“How do you feel, sweetheart?” The Cautious one asks seconds before he pulls one of his t-shirts over your head, causing you to release a sleepy giggle because of course, you can’t respond to him until the shirt has slipped past your face.

“Better,” you chuckle, earning laughter from him as well when he realizes your mood has finally lifted, even if it’s just for the moment.

“Hungry?” He kisses your forehead after asking, noticing you nod your head. “Why don’t I make us some dinner, and the two of you can pick out a movie to watch?”

As if on cue, your protective boyfriend returns, toweling his damp hair with one hand while tossing the other a pair of boxer-briefs in the other. “As long as it’s not a horror movie.” The two chuckle as he takes you by the waist, allowing your boyfriend to get dressed but all you can do is pout while looking up at him.

“But those are my favorites,” you whine playfully, watching his smile grow and you know it’s only because he is relieved you seem to grow out of your funk from earlier.

“Fine,” he huffs, just as playful as he leans down to press his lips to yours, “we can watch a scary movie. If…”

“If?” You raise your brows, allowing him to lead you from the bedroom to the living room to pick out your choice of movie, but not before taking you by the wrist to pull you closer.

“If you help me scare him later.”

“I heard that!” Your other boyfriend’s voice rings high-pitched from the kitchen, causing you to giggle and shake your head.

“Heard what?!” he yells back, just as loud, playing innocent.

All you can do is giggle, wondering once again how you got so lucky to have them.

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starseternl · 1 day

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i. stardust; azriel.

synopsis : azriel x half-seraphim!reader. your first starfall with the inner circle, nerves dizzying you like wine. what's worse? watching your love for azriel go unrequited as he dances with anyone but you. but ... is it really unrequited?

warnings : mild swearing, insecure reader / comparing herself to elain, fast-paced emotions, rushed ending, unedited.

a/n : this is my first fic writing for acotar here so pleasee bare with me ( this is also unedited / not proof read, so i apologize for any mistakes ) <3 i hope i did azriel some justice :,) no huge warnings here, just fluff with a hint of angst in between. and absolutely no hate to elain !! she’s the loml tbh.

word count : 6,271

Seventy years.

That’s how long you’d known Rhysand’s family. How long you’d known Azriel.

Seventy years, and yet, this was your first Starfall with them. After all, you had felt too guilty, leaving your boss – Madja – lonely on such a beautiful occasion. The woman wasn’t one for extravagant parties, and often stayed in as the two of you cooked together, much like a mother and a daughter would. Sure, it wasn’t much . . . And it certainly didn’t feel any different from your typical weekends. Yet, the warmth of the moment always had you savoring it. Madja was hard on you, but it was undeniable, the maternal instinct she seemed to possess.

But no amount of beef stew or spiced tomato soup could ever amount to what you felt now.

You stood before Morrigan’s bedroom mirror, unsure of what to do with yourself. Was that even you, staring back? Your eyes were wide, lined with kohl and a strange, silver paste, almost hidden behind your curled lashes. Your lips, parted in a small gape, were the color of aged wine – shining. Dark.

Tempting.

You wanted to congratulate Mor on the work of art she had produced out of you – but before you could utter another word, your gaze fell to the dress.

And, oh, was it breathtaking.

Your bodice cupped your chest like it was molded to you, skin-to-skin, the velvet softer than anything you’d ever had the pleasure of feeling. The deep cobalt blue shifted in the light, almost like molten lapis, placing perfect emphasis on your curves, catching the glow of faelights in just the right spots. You’d never worn anything sleeveless before; you’d always thought them to look boring. But looking down past the sweetheart neckline, to the thick ribbon wrapped around your waist, lacing up your back, ending in that long, perfect bow … Even you had to admit it was a work of art.

You lifted the satin skirts, peering down, wondering if –

“Don’t do that!” Mor playfully hissed at your side, swatting your hands down and away from the delicate material. “You’ll wrinkle it … I spent good money on this dress, you know.”

But you didn’t have the heart to banter, now. Your mouth felt dry as you gravitated towards the mirror, fingertips grazing its surface. “This doesn’t feel real,” you admitted with an exhale, so quiet that your friend barely even caught it.

Her gaze softened a fraction, swiftly standing at your back, fingers adjusting the material lacing you together. Honestly, you were thankful they were there; it felt like the only thing keeping you from crumbling. You had been longing for this for years after meeting the Inner Circle. But, now? Coming to their little Velaris party made you feel as if you were officially one of them. Their friend, their family.

You almost trembled as you – gently, this time – swept your skirts off the floor, taking small steps towards the door, making great attempts not to trip over the blonde’s brand new heels, the ebony leather so fine it barely cut into your flesh. She stifled a laugh at your poor attempts, offering you her bare arm to steady yourself. You graciously accepted, sheepishly gripping your billowing skirts tighter in your free palm. Not that you could admit such a bold claim aloud, but it wasn’t the shoes that had you dizzy. You had worn ridiculous heels many times in your life; boots, stilettos . . . This shouldn’t have been an issue.

Instead, what shook you was the knowledge that he would see you. You, in your sapphire dress. You, clumsily dancing for the first time in years. You, always embarrassing yourself. Always the fool.

The shadowsinger, your muse. He was so graceful, so lovely. Untouchable. Everyone could see that he deserved someone of pure light. Someone soft, like a blanket of warmth. Something you could never be, you supposed. For all you were good at was healing flesh wounds. You never knew how to navigate a faerie’s heart, how to soothe the cracks and wounds.

A muscle ticked in your jaw as the two of you pushed Mor’s bedroom door open, your expression only relaxing as your friend let you go once you’d reached the great, spiraling staircase. The sisters, on the other hand, filed out of a room to the left – each one striking. Nesta in death’s black, ink dripping down every pore. Feyre, in a familiar shade of starlight silver, practically glowing with joy as she bounced little Nyx in her arms. And Elain . . .

You felt a twinge of jealousy upon seeing how stunning she looked tonight. Mauve sweeps of tule and silk hugged her hourglass figure like it was art, the draping sleeves like wisps of petal. Her skirt fell to the floor in great volumes – she looked a bit like a flower, herself. You suddenly felt that confidence, blazing and bright, dwindle down to nothing but a spark. A new reminder that you were like her shadow. Pretty, but never enough to be seen, not while Elain existed. You bit down on your cheek to keep yourself from potentially hurling, stepping to the side in a swift bow as the Archerons passed, teetering down the staircase as one. Feyre had ordered you not to do so, as you were ‘family.’ Even so, you could never suppress the urge.

It was pitiful of you, you had to admit. Elain … She’d never done anything wrong. Perhaps it was merely nature to blame another on your shortcomings, but even when that sinking feeling dove deep beneath your skin, guilt plagued and ate at your heart. Again and again she’d bake sweet cakes and cookies for you – again and again she’d bring you flowers, bright smiles. All because she knew you were unsteady, afraid. Yet you couldn’t stop. Not when Azriel’s gentle smiles only seemed to bloom for her sunlight.

Only when you heard hushed chatter and laughs did you spring back up, sucking in a breath. You peered over the edge, stomach churning as you watched the shadowsinger transfixed by the doe-eyed female. How could you join them, now, when you realized you had no one to talk to? Cassian and Nesta. Amren and Varian. Rhysand and Feyre. Azriel and Elain. Even Mor had found her place beside a newly bashful Emerie. You had been hoping that Gwyneth would join you – but the Nymph stayed in the Library, tending to books with Clotho.

Ripping the handrail, dark nails scraping, you quietly made your down, inch by inch, silently, in hopes no one would see, and –

“Oh, you sure clean up nicely,” came Cassian’s whistle of approval. You groaned, stopping halfway to the floor to dramatically hang over the railing.

“Did you really need to do that? I was trying to be discreet,” you huffed, hands on your thinned waist. You quickly finished your descent, ready to knock heads with the male, his chest puffed out in rather unnecessary pride.

And you would have, if the weight of a certain gaze tore at your focus. Your eyes slid to Azriel’s, and for once, he didn’t shy away. He only watched, those smooth, pretty lips parted in something resembling awe. Elain glanced between the two of you, and for a moment, you could have sworn excitement – anticipation – flash in her lovely brown eyes.

You practically floated towards the Illyrian, drinking him in. That dark hair, clumsily styled into a dark pool of voluminous strands. The way his white blouse – a shade you rarely saw him in – was ever so slightly unbuttoned, revealing hints of his tattoos. But what really caught your eye was the velvet blazer of deepest blue. An article of clothing that perfectly matched your gown.

You, painfully, let your eyes drift to the blonde fae, raising your brows, as if you say, you did this? Mor only grinned, looping her arm through Feyre’s ignoring your inquiry.

But, in the meantime, Azriel hadn’t stopped watching you, from the moment he saw you take the first step towards the hall. He knew you’d be wearing cobalt tonight. He had specifically asked Mor, in fact, smitten and riddled with nerves. But what he didn’t anticipate was how it made him feel. It was the same blue that shone in his siphons, and his heart stirred, a strange sense of warmth rising to his head and chest. It was as if you were his. His to hold, his to touch, his to kiss. His shadows danced, a wisp curling around your neck and winding through your hair, like a necklace. He could feel them giggling like children.

Before he even had the chance to get ahold of the shadows, you were already laughing with them, a finger gently coming up to examine your newfound jewelry.

The male stepped closer to you, rose dusting his cheeks. “They seem to be in a good mood.” He watched you play with them, the one laying on your collar bones shifting to wind itself up and around your forearm, like a serpent, loyal to its mistress. “They like you, I mean,” Azriel clarified as you peered up at him.

“How cute …” you murmured in awe, feeling them pulse against your skin. You met his hazel eyes once again, unable to wipe the grin off your face. “They’re beautiful.”

Beautiful beautiful beautiful. He couldn’t help the small, careful upturning that graced his lips as he let a million thoughts wander through his head. You’re the one who’s beautiful, he wanted to respond – but for the sake of his nerves, and yours, he held his tongue. Instead, he hummed, “We match, you know.”

Your eyes widened, as if you had hoped he wouldn’t notice. “Ah … Right,” your eyes widened, pupils dilating further, “I swear, I didn’t plan this. It’s a coincidence. If I knew you were already wearing blue, I would have asked to change – I don’t mean to steal your thunder.”

Azriel barked an uncharacteristically joyful chuckle, throwing his head back for a moment, the blush dusting his cheeks only glowing a bit brighter. Something you failed to see, eyes stuck to the arch of his throat, the way the muscles moved, his tattoos coming to life. “No,” he gently countered once he’d come down from the clouds. “I think it looks nice. You – we – look nice. Blue suits you.”

And as your lips curled, Azriel thought his heart may have stopped. Had he done that? Him? A sense of pride sparked in his blood, his shadows flaring in reply, still ever so unresponsive to their master. You could feel the way they seemed to shy against you, the dense air they washed over your skin warming – you could’ve sworn it felt like a flush.

You were so enchanted with the creatures, with the peace they brought you; the way it washed over your senses, so much so that you completely missed the velvet-smooth voice that filled your ears. It was an effort to look up from the shadows – after all, you were more than content to sit right there on the floor and play with them all evening, dress and all. But nothing else mattered when a gentle shiver spread through your body, a silken sensation blooming at your shoulder. Your eyes narrowed to the – albeit, gloved – hand that rested on your skin. You didn’t need to see the scars beneath, to know who it was.

Azriel gazed down at you with eyes so full that something in your chest ached in response, drowning under the waves of thousands of words unsaid. You couldn’t read them, each syllable too muddled, too deep to reach – but you knew something was there, lurking beneath those amber irises. “Could you repeat that?” you finally murmured, clasing your hands before you. Your tone was sheepish, the very admission an embarrassment.

“I asked if you would save me a dance,” he clarified. You could hear it, the slight tremor in his voice. He was a master of physical arts, and his body didn’t often betray him – only you knew Azriel well enough to gauge the nerves in his words. “I know you have a duty to dance with Rhys, and Cass is going to snag you, as he does to every pretty lady. But I think I’d regret it, if I didn’t get at least one with you.”

How could you say no? How could you be sensible, think of the consequences, when that stare was so sweet? It was a look you could never refuse, not even when you knew accepting would break your doe-eyed friend’s heart.

Yes; you saw how Elain looked at him, how her rosy lips parted when he walked into a room. She sat up straighter beside him, seemed to speak louder. Like a star hidden by the mountains, rising into the sky to be admired by all. Around Azriel, the girl bloomed. And every hushed compliment from the Shadowsinger was a seed planted along that pale skin, growing until she could one day love herself as much as everyone else seemed to love her. It was shameful, to live off another’s joy … But watching how smooth they were together, you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to be loved by him. Selfish. You knew she loved him first, yet you craved him more than all else. You knew you had no right to want his touch, to crave him like air, but you did both. He was your air, yes – the kind that burned your lungs, coughing on stardust, too much to look at, blinding, suffocating –

“Yes.”

The word came choked, pulling you from the waters of your mind. “Yes, of course,” you repeated again, softer this time. You were never a dancer, could never drift across the ballroom like shallow water. But with him, it felt different. Wings could sprout from your back – you could fly, when his spotlight was on you.

The male’s face seemed to relax with the acceptance, warmth spreading to his cheeks. You were in your own little world, a fragile bubble that you wanted to stay in forever … Until a louder, feminine voice put a pin in it.

“Right, we get it, you want to tear each other’s clothes off,” Mor teased with a groan, red gown twisting as she faced the two of us, Emerie peeking out from behind her. “But I’m not missing Starfall because two insufferable idiots refuse to get a move-on. I’ve got things to do.” She winked, and with the click of her tongue, Rhysand nodded. Nodded – but you could see the smirk on his lips when his gaze fell on Azriel.

“As refreshing as this is,” he agreed, “we have a duty to make an appearance. Lest you want to be chastised by our people, I suggest we leave.” He had taken Nyx from the bundle in Feyre’s arms, bouncing the babe in his own large embrace. The boy was grasping at his fathers blue-black hair, pulling at the strands.

You brushed past the Illyrian to stroke Nyx’s head, cooing for the small child. Barely a toddler, and you could tell he’d grow to be as strong as – if not stranger than – his father. But it certainly brought no fear, often surrounded by the coddling of the adults around him.

As a half-Seraphim, yourself, you were less on the … Territorial side. Your instincts were more like a soft duvet, contrary to Azriel and Cassian’s hammer-like tendencies. Thanks to this, the Night Court’s heir had grown quite fond of you – of course, not nearly as much as his mother and father, but you were a close third. You swept the black-haired boy into your arms, holding him at eye-level with you, his chubby fingers reaching for your pearls and jewels. “Ah-ah,” you tutted, a mock frown placed on your painted lips. “I know these are pretty, but your Auntie spent her hard earned money on these. You can touch when you’re older.”

Nyx seemed to deflate with the rejection, and you almost felt guilty for the poor thing. His mother, donned in white, cupped his little face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his head.

“Now, let’s not get pouty … You’ll perk right back up when you see the treats Elain made for the party,” the High Lady hummed. At the word “treats”, he seemed to glow once again, tiny wings flapping as Feyre took him back, bouncing him against her chest. You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past your lips, the scene painted perfection. You were glad to see your friend with such a loving family around her – she deserved it.

A cool breeze grazed your back and you strained your head to peek behind you, eyes drinking in a torso covered in black, white, and blue. “Let’s not keep Nyx waiting. He’ll grow impatient,” Azriel suggested, that quiet, smooth voice loud in your ears. You could feel his shadowed smirk, that silent humor. He reached a gloved hand out to you and your heart seemed to melt. Was he really asking to escort you? You slid your fingers between his, feeling the rough, charred skin mold to the tight fabric of the gloves. It was a familiar sensation, comforting. The nice thing about loving the Shadowsinger? You always knew. You knew it was him when he’d touch your arm, scarred fingertips all too easy to feel. You knew it was him when you saw shadows snake across the floor of every room, moments before you saw him. Mother, you even knew him down to that night-chilled mist and cedar scent. It blanketed you on drunken nights in which he walked you back to your room in Feyre’s estate, lingering even when you’d crawled into bed and fallen asleep like a rock. His hand tightened around yours, sliding his arm so it supported yours, linking your bodies together. Something about his shadows seemed more careful than before, like summer air.

You supposed you wouldn’t mind if your hair got ruined if it meant Azriel got to fly you there. Mor could deal with it.

***

By the time the Illyrian set you on the pavement outside The Rainbow, you were already exhausted. Yes, you were a night owl – fitting for the court you stayed in – but the heavy jewels stuck to your arms, your neck, and the weighted material of your dress – it all had you wanting to sit down and doze off for a good few hours. You knew your feet would ache by the end of the evening. You could hear the booming music, the orchestra’s melody brighter than the stars, the cheers of Rhysand’s subjects as he led his mate and son down the stairs. You could almost picture it without seeing it then; the Lord and his Lady, glorious like the moon.

You let the Spymaster set your hand on his, leading you down the steps, ebony wings never quite dragging as you followed him. You had wanted to thank him for the fly, an excuse to talk to him amongst the vast expanse of people –

But something else caught your eye.

The sky.

Your lips parted in wonder, a sort of floating sensation spreading through your body. It was beautiful. You knew starfall wasn’t about the actual glowing dots in the sky, but the spirits, coming to visit in star-shaped forms. And you watched the large bodies descend from the pool of black, silently colliding with the streets of velaris, leaving the pavement sprinkled in glittery, illuminated substances. it painted the streets, the buildings – you felt like you were standing in a fantasy. things felt … peaceful. soft.

“Pretty, aren’t they?” Cassian smirked from behind you, an arm slung around Nesta’s waist – much to her teasing dismay, as she mouthed a short “possessive baby,” to you. You nodded at the warlord, the corners of your mouth lifting … only for them to fall right back down when he added, “Yeah. They’re dying out every year. One day, they’ll be gone.”

You gasped, brows dipping. Your stomach seemed to churn, your gaze on the spirits suddenly grew heavy, sorrowful. Your excitement died down to a sort of mourning. You knew you’d be alive another, what, five hundred years? More? Would they be gone by then? Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Nesta jab her mate in the stomach, scolding him for the sudden trainwreck of angst.

You spent most of the party sitting around members of the court, sipping expensive wines and gazing up at the glass roof, coated in that glowing powder. You couldn’t keep your gaze off of it – not when Rhysand swept you into a waltz, his dancing skills smooth as you remembered from Under the Mountain. Elegant as the dark, night incarnate. He certainly lived up to the name, gliding across the marble floor with such ease that you almost slipped on your own two feet, practically being dragged around like a ragdoll. You excused yourself shortly, handing him off to his wife, who scowled when he seemed to pout, clearly enjoying torturing you, ever the brother-figure. You knew he’d be in it for a mouthful at home. It made you chuckle, even when Cassian took the chance to wrap his arm around yours, that boysterous demeanor louder with the consumption of so much alcohol. You could smell it on his breath, and see it in his sloppy dancing – and when he asked you to twirl him, the male practically playing limbo to try and fit under your raised arm. You sniggered, mocking his height – until those wings slapped you square in the face when he finally succeeded. You grumbled, excusing yourself to find a drink as his warm, hollering laughter followed you down and across the ballroom.

That left one dance owed.

Azriel.

It wasn’t that you weren’t looking forward to it. Quite the opposite, actually. Rather, it was that the shadowsinger was nowhere to be found. You knew he had the tendency to slip off into the security of his shadows during large gatherings … But what were you to do? It was nearly two in the morning, and things were coming to a close. Or, at least, the music was. It had grown softer, suitable for smalltalk and laughter, rather than dance and partying.

Plus, Elain was missing, too, and for some strange reason, it made your skin itch. Was she with him? Had they snuck off alone, to admire the moonlight? You couldn’t blame them; she had looked lovely that evening. You admired her for it. You always had. She was there for you when others were not, an angel in disguise, fallen from the heavens. You hadn’t known the Mother was capable of creating a fae so perfect. Didn’t want to know. At least, not while it made you feel so … average. Good for nothing.

You gripped your arms, turning to gaze at your friends, huddled and chattering like a flock of birds. Radiant. Untouchable. Did you belong there, with them? Placed on a pedestal, to be admired and feared and loved? It had you wanting to hurl, a shiver making its way up your back. You swiftly jerked your head forward, heels clacking, feet aching as you slipped down a dark hall, relishing in the way the voices and music seemed to die down the further you walked.

You reached a small archway, illuminated only by the bright moonlight, a small breeze leaking in through it. You stepped past the threshold, finding yourself on a familiar balcony – familiar not by memory, but by description. Feyre told you about it many times, about how she’d shared her first genuine moment with Rhysand there. You scoffed and shook your head, the irony lifting your mood. Leaning on your forearms, the railing cool on your skin, you let the wind ruffle – if not ruin – your hair, eyes fixated up. You’d miss it, when those little glowing shapes were nothing but a whisper of dust in the world. Despite being pissy at Cassian for soiling your spirits with the fact, you were also grateful, because it meant you could savor their presence just a tad bit more.

“Feeling overwhelmed?” You instantly knew who that voice was. Without turning, you responded with a hum. “I needed a bit of quiet. You Illyrians can be insufferable.”

Azriel barked a laugh, the sound so genuine and rare that you felt your chest stir. He sounded like pure starlight, and you wanted to fall into it. “Maybe so, but I don’t see you leaving.”

“Because you fools would go batshit insane if I ever did.” I manage to roll my eyes, fighting back a love-struck smile. “What’ve you been doing all night? I thought you’d be more into the celebration. I know parties aren’t your thing … But I was told you adored Starfall.” Az considered, the material of his suit creasing. “Elain asked me to take her to The Rainbow’s gardens. We watched the spirits from there – better view.”

Truth. You could tell by the way his voice softened, the corners of his eyes relaxed, his shadows hiding nothing. Your stomach dropped, as though you hadn’t seen it coming. Of course he was with Elain. When was he not? You pressed your lips together before replying, eyes dropped from the sky to your clasped fingers. “Mm. Had I known, I would’ve stayed outside … Cass and Rhys practically danced the soles of my feet off.”

You heard a deep, joyous rumble to your left. “Did Cassian step on your toes?”

I sighed dramatically, neck craning. “Obviously. And gave me one Hel of a nosebleed”

“I’m sure I could do better. I like to think I’m in control of my own body.”

You shook your head, lips twitching. “Finally offering me that dance you wanted?” I joked, lifting my skirts.

“You know I’m not one to break a promise,” came his reply, that dark smirk on the panes of his face. You giggled, turning to exit the balcony and make my way down to the ballroom. “Race you?”

Rather than complying like he usually would, the male caught hold of your wrist – gently, but hard enough that you halted.

“Stay.”

Your heart couldn’t have thundered as loud as it did then. Heat rose to your cheeks and you turned your head to look at him – really look at him, for the first time in hours. And, gods, did you regret it. Flushed by the cold in the wind, hair disheveled, falling into his eyes … You were done for.

“Stay?” you parroted, head cocking to the side. “There’s no music up here.” Half truth; music leaked from below, but it was so quiet, our hushed voices could easily cover it.

“I know. But if we go down there, we’ll be bombarded with those busybodies. I want it to be –” he shook his head, a glow rising to his cheeks. “Just … Stay.”

Your heart melted, shoulders slumping, the grip on your skits loosening as you faced him. He wanted you to be alone. Just the two of you. He may not have outright admitted it, but you could see it on his face, the hopeful shimmer in those hazel eyes, like honey. It was often like this, with you two; unbeknownst to your friends, your relationship wasn’t all teasing and joking. No – outside their gaze, in the shadows, the two of you oftentimes dwelled in silence together. You had trouble sleeping most nights, and came shuffling out of your room for milk and tea, a book clutched in your hands. And Azriel? His shadows simply never shut up. Sleep wasn’t much of an option for him. It became tradition, your nightly meet-ups on the roof of Feyre’s manor, laughing and indulging in Rhys’s good wine. It was the first time you’d seen the large man drunk, suddenly becoming needy and sensitive, like an oversized baby.

You’d been staring at him a moment too long, eyes locked onto his parted lips, those flushed cheeks. Shaking your head, you finally turned your body, nearing him with a carefulness akin to approaching a wounded deer. “Okay,” you finally breathed. You knew you were a mess, so late into the evening. Tangled, frizzy hair, wrinkles on your dress. But little did you know, you’d never looked more beautiful to Azriel.

Without another word, his hands were on you. They cupped your waist, guided your hands to his shoulders, with such grace that you swore he had experience. Maybe the Spymaster was a playboy, as strange as that was for a male of his kind.

But all thought emptied from your head when he guided you by the hips so you were centimeters from him, face so close to his chest you could feel the warmth coming in waves. Could feel his shadows tenderly stroke your cheek, winding around your neck and shoulders like scarves. You couldn't even bring yourself to touch them, play with them – not while your hands were on him, feeling muscle shift beneath his skin and clothes as he swayed you, ease and relaxation working its way into his step. Even with no real music, no tempo, Rhysand and Cassian’s dances paled in comparison to this (not that Cassian’s had much appeal … That man was like an ostrich with a broken ankle on the dance floor). This, with those eyes gazing down at you with such peace. This, listening to his every breath, the way it seemed to catch when you moved to sling your arms around his neck, bringing you impossibly closer. This was what you loved most.

You knew Azriel couldn’t go farther than touching a female’s hands without beating himself to a pulp – knew he ridiculed himself too much, as too afraid. Yet, something changed in him when he brought a hand previously on your waist to your head. It was by no means a harsh action, but rather something done with such softness that your heart fractured. He cupped the back of your head, fingers buried in the soft strands of your hair, and brought your head to his chest, letting you rest your cheek against the soft silk of his dress-shirt and blazer. You were no longer dancing – you were moving, like plants in the wind. But it was too intimate to be labeled a dance. You were simply holding one-another. Holding on to something you couldn’t quite place.

“I’m … Glad I got one dance in tonight.” His voice seemed to vibrate across his body, sending waves down your cheek. You couldn’t see his face – not when yours was stuck to his chest, but you could hear something sweet in his tone.

I huffed against the silks and cotton, inching back to get a good look at his expression. “You didn’t dance with anyone else? Not even Elain?”

He raised a dark brow, shadows swirling around his back. “Lucien would gut me if I dared to try.”

“Lucien isn’t here tonight.”

“Mm. Something Elain was awfully upset about. It wasn’t on my bucket-list, though.”

Surprise coursed through your veins, going right to your thundering heart. He didn’t want to dance with her? The female who was practically the belle of the ball? And she … Was waiting for Lucien. You couldn’t quite believe it, but you knew the shadowsinger wasn’t one for lies. For a spymaster, he was a terrible actor to anyone who knew him. He could lie to enemies, to his brothers when it counted. But otherwise, those cheeks would be dusted in pink, gaze practically oozing nerves.

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from your throat. “Well, I am more than honored to be your first pick,” you teased, jabbing him between the ribs.

But Azriel was unfazed. Where you had expected a laugh, there was only his heavy stare, his parting lips. “You’re the only one I ever want to dance with.”

Your heart seemed to stop its beating right there and then. Your throat, dry like sandpaper, seemed to keep so many thoughtless words as you could only stare up at him, quite aware of the heat rising to your face. You’re the only one I ever want to dance with.

What the hell did that mean?

“I know I’m one hell of a dancer, but you need to give Rhys some credit, too,” you finally bit out, the breezy jest you’d intended to lead into your tone coming out strained, nervous.

Azriel bit his lip, those shadows swirling to cup his face, his neck, peeking over the expanse of his wings. He was … Embarrassed. “You don’t understand,” he murmured, a scarred – and gloveless, you noted – hand reaching to cup your face – then stopping before it could reach the skin you so desperately needed him to touch. “I – you don't …” he huffed, raking those fingers through his hair. “You are much denser than Cassian tried to let on.”

Denser.

It hit you like an arrow to the chest, a zing of shock shaking you to your very core. Was this him confessing? You mindlessly blinked, makeup-covered lashes fluttering. The male you had been pining after for years wanted you. In retrospect, it made sense. He always sat by you, always did things for you, always protected you, first. But there was always an excuse to bypass the information like it was nothing. The way he once loved Mor, that he was simply a kind soul … Which was the truth, beneath the hard mask of the Night Court’s Spymaster.

Then, Elain. But Elain wasn’t in the picture anymore, not when Azriel had just revealed her little affairs with Lucien. Not when he was admitting that this was all so, so real.

“Az –” you choked out, reaching for his hand, taking it in yours. His scars were warm, and despite how he refused to look you in the eye, his fingers clutched yours so desperately that you swore you felt tears well, burning you. “Are you trying to – do you … Fuck, this is hard.” You exhaled, a sudden wave of nerves hurling at you. You didn’t know what to say, what to do, where to look – and hell, he looked so pretty, with those rosy cheeks and messy hair. You opened your mouth to finally just say it, the words bounding up your throat, ready, and –

Snap.

Your chest heaved, something missing for years, something hollow, suddenly full. Like you’d found an oasis in a desert, and you couldn’t waste even a single drop. You’d wondered since you were a child who your missing piece was. Who was tethered to your mind and body and heart, who was destined to be yours.

“Mate,” his shallow, hoarse voice cut through the thick air like a prayer.

All restraint snapped, all reason to be civil seemed to vanish as he cupped your face, thumbs running over your cheekbones. You could faintly see the outline of tears in the moonlight, coating his skin. Azriel, as you knew it, never cried. He never let himself cry, never even wallow in pity. Only that icy, silent rage. But seeing the emotion dripping down his face, all you wanted to do was hold him, tell him it was alright, tell him what you felt, that you loved him, to kiss him –

Just like that, his lips were on yours.

Fleeting, soft – but, gods, it was perfect. You could feel the trembling of his movements as they parted, the taste of him finer than champagne, a cocktail of bittersweet anticipation and fervent affection. Your hands slipped from his, rising to loop around his neck as he fluttered against your lips, a butterfly’s kiss. A sigh, scarcely audible, escaped you, carrying with it the weight of endless nights spent yearning for that exact moment. Your fingers tangle in the inky strands of his hair, and anchor to reality, prayer that it wasn’t a dream.

And even when you inched back for the breath that you were so bitter to need, the feeling of his touch lingered, his flavor coating your mouth, ever-present. You touched your forehead to his, and he didn’t mind that he needed to crane his neck forward to reach you. Not one bit – and especially not when you murmured into the night, meant only for his ears, a quiet “I love you.”

You felt it, the way he tensed in your embrace. Not in a defiant way, not something that spoke of regret for the moment you shared. But fear for something new – something unexplored.

“I love you, too.”

You could have gone and cried yourself a whole new ocean right there and then, even at the price of Mor’s scolding as your makeup dripped down your cheeks. But was it your fault? You didn’t think so – not that it mattered. All you saw was him, even when your eyes went blurry and your heart seemed to burst.

Then – footsteps, a familiar male voice. “Do you think they’re fucking out there?”

“Cassian!” Nesta hissed, a slap ringing through the dark hall behind them.

“He isn’t wrong …” Mor chirped, amusement echoing in each syllable. “Az looked like he was about to pass out when he saw her.”

Dear Mother. Of course your meddling friends wanted to stick their nose in your business. Indecent, perhaps, but you smiled all the same, rolling your eyes as the two of you listened to their ceaseless chatter.

“I think,” Azriel murmured, his wing curling around you, blocking out the moonlight and endless stars, “we should return before they start the next town gossip.”

“... Smart.”

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perfectlyvalid49 · 2 days

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Today is Yom HaShoah, which is Israel’s (and by extension large portions of the Jewish diaspora’s) Holocaust Remembrance Day. Back in January, I wrote this post for International Holocaust Remembrance Day, in which I basically said that I thought that International Holocaust Remembrance Day really should line up with Yom HaShoah, but that I choose to take the “Holy shit! Two cakes!” attitude towards it, because the Holocaust is certainly a large enough tragedy to support two remembrance days.

The one in January’s date was selected to be in remembrance of the day Auschwitz was liberated. Because that date was selected to celebrate a non-Jewish achievement, I think it should be a day for the goyim to focus on how they can do better. If it is in remembrance of what good allies they were, then it should be used as a day to do some learning and reflection in order to be better allies to us now, in the present.

But the one today is timed to commemorate the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. Yom HaShoah is the day we picked not just to remember the 6 million who died, but also the ones who decided to die fighting. It is a day to remember that we must stand up for ourselves, even if the price is high, because the price for not standing up for ourselves is higher.

In January I gave some topics for goyim to think about in remembrance of the day. Because today is the Jewish remembrance day, I will share what I am thinking about today as a Jew, and invite others to think about it too.

I saw a post a few days ago where someone commented on a different post about why Jews didn’t leave Germany after Kristallnacht, and how moving to another country because some people broke your window feels like an overreaction. And that you will always be overreacting until it’s too late. How do we know the difference between “just” broken windows and a sign to flee? Knowing antisemitism is on the rise globally, where would we even flee to? How do I help my children avoid the fate of their great-grandfather (who survived) or their great-great-grandfather (who did not)?

We picked this day to commemorate the Jewish victims of the Holocaust, but also to remember that even in the middle of one of the worst attacks on our people (and that’s fucking saying something) there were Jews who stood up and refused to accept their fate. I have seen many Jews say that they’re getting “1930s Germany” vibes from current events. If things are headed in the same direction, what can we do to fight our fate? Ideally with words now, so that we don’t have to fight with pistols and homemade explosives like they did in Warsaw.

The reason for a remembrance day like today is to acknowledge the past, but also to learn from it. What can we learn so that when we say, “We will outlive them” we can mean all of us, not just the ones who are lucky enough to be geographically removed from the worst of it, or to survive despite the odds?

This is a little more downbeat than I had hoped, which is unsurprising given the nature of the day. I like to try to stay positive though, so I’ll say this: Six million people were murdered. The Warsaw Ghetto uprising did not succeed in its goal of liberation. But the Nazis did not succeed in their goal of eliminating the Jews either. We did outlive them. We are still here to remember.

Am Yisrael Chai

#yom hashoah #never again

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fennecfoxdavid · 3 days

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Do you know how much this account has genuinely improved my life?

It's amazing

I love you

I love this

Awww that makes me so happy to hear. Honestly it does.

Tbh this account has improved my life too. It gives me a reason to get up every day on my most hardest days.

When I first started this account I was going through a dark suicidal period in my life and being able to have a reason to keep going to the next day cause I didn’t want to miss any days of posting really helped me out of that mindset.

It’s why I’ll forever be thankful to @neil-gaiman for suggesting the idea and supporting me in running with it. I don’t know if he actually knows how thankful I am to him. I know it sounds silly to be so grateful for a David looking like a fox joke….but it really saved me a lot. I hope one day I can say thank you to Neil properly for his humor. I really want him to know that he’s made a positive difference in my life like I’m sure he has with so many others for many different reasons. ❤️

Also Maybe I’ll even meet David one day to thank him for not sending a sniper to take me out lmao 😂

- Envil

#david tennant #neil gaiman #dailyfennecdavid #fennec fox #doctor who #good omens #tenth doctor #crowley #replies #envil

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peonysgreenhouse · 1 day

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-`♡´- return.

summary: the obey me datables & luke react to mc coming back to life!

tags: obey me datables (simeon, solomon, diavolo, barbatos) x gn!reader, luke & gn!reader, hurt/comfort, implied character death, mentions of violence in solomon's parts, solomon goes a little crazy teehee

i. simeon

he sees you there, in the celestial realm. he had known your soul was pure from the very beginning, but seeing you among the angels was like a knife to his gut, a reminder of his failures to protect you.

you weren’t supposed to be here, not now, at least. it was far too early for you to die. simeon can’t help but feel bitterness well up within him as you turn from michael to look for someone in the crowd (he knew it was him. he hoped it was him).

your features light up – simeon feels his heart skip a beat. even now you were just as he last remembered you, he had always taken the time to visit you in the devildom, even after his internship was over. you more beautiful than any angel he had ever seen.

you embrace him tight, and the tighter you squeeze the more he feels like he can’t breathe, the combating feelings waging a war in his mind. he should’ve been watching over you; what kind of guardian angel was he to let his human die like this?

“i’m sorry,” he doesn’t know why his voice cracks when he says it. simeon? losing his composure? he had garnered many millennia of years of experience working to keep it up. “i’m sorry i didn’t protect you.”

“it’s okay simeon,” he feels your hands squeeze the back of his cloak. a wicked thought crosses his mind; maybe if you dug your nails in harder he would have some penance for his failures. if you cut through the bone and marrow and reached his heart then maybe his father would forgive him – maybe you would forgive him for his short-comings. “i’m here now.”

“right,” he breathes you in as if to convince himself. simeon feels the strength of his bond with you overwhelm him, he can feel how much you care for him and he feels his chest fill with warmth, chasing away his guilt, if for the moment. “you’re here forever. with me. nothing can hurt you here, i promise.”

ii. luke

luke had always told you to be mindful of demons, that they were evil creatures who would take any opportunity to kill you. it had seemed that his warning had proved true in the worst way. if only he hadn’t been a cherub; if uriel had promoted him to be your guardian angel like he had asked, maybe this could’ve been avoided.

but he was overwhelmed with how happy he was at the fact that you would be spending time with him forever in the celestial realm. he had wanted nothing more ever since you had become friends in the devildom. you were the one light for him in the exchange program.

“you’re here!” luke chirps, sprinting down the golden bricks of the road to the archangels’ house. “you’re really–!” you’re suddenly enveloped in a hug as luke wraps himself around your waist.

“hello luke!” you smile from ear to ear, ruffling up his neat hair. usually, he’d make a comment about you not treating him like a child, but for now it seems he’s too busy nuzzling into you. “it’s good to see you again.”

“yes! i’m happy to see you,” he pulls away, cheeks visibly flushed. “i’m sorry that i wasn’t there to protect you from those mean old demons but… everything will be fine now that you’re here!”

“would you like to give them a tour of the celestial realm?” michael chimes in with a smile, the younger angel’s eyes lighting up like a christmas tree.

luke nods excitedly, taking your hand in his, already tugging you out of the estate: “we have so much to do! we can’t waste any time!”

iii. solomon

solomon spirals hard.

there was a reason solomon pushed everyone away, why most people in his life were kept an arms length apart. he got too attached to things; to power, to magic, to anything that gave him that needed adrenaline rush… why would you be any different? you, the only person he has ever loved had been snatched out of his hands.

and worst of all, he had been powerless to save you.

all the magic and demon pacts and connections in the world couldn’t stop you from bleeding out in his arms. humans like you were much too fragile for his liking; he had worked tirelessly his whole life to be anything but.

if he couldn’t get what he wanted from the damned, he would have to turn his eyes to the celestial realm. if he had to tear down the heavens and bring you crashing back down to earth, he’s sure he would.

making bonds with angels was much more difficult than that of demons, but he found after nights of endless research that plucking a few of their feathers would get them to sing.

he’s covered in golden ichor when he manages to bring you back – a life for a life. he finally was able to do it, not only to bring a human back to life, but to bring you back. solomon rises, shakily, as you feel your body materialize out of the magic sigil etched into the floor. he smiles gently, looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered.

so why do you look back at him with such horror?

iv. diavolo

he had bargained with the archangels before, but never for a life.

in all accounts, a human choosing to leave the celestial realm and go to the devildom was unheard of. being cast out of heaven was notoriously the worst punishment anyone could receive.

but you do, you would always choose him over all the luxuries and beauty of the heavens every single time. it was true that love made people do stupid things.

michael sends you back to the devildom months after diavolo’s terms were set, a gift with the price of owing the ruler of the celestial realm a favor. michael was known for his kindness, but diavolo knew that there was more to him than that. he was smart enough to know that michael would never jeopardize the devildom, but angels never forgot debts owed. it was a risk, but one diavolo had no choice but to take.

above all the benevolence and good-will he draped himself in, at his core, he was a selfish demon; perhaps moreso than anyone else in the devildom.

he holds you against his chest the whole night. in the morning, he’d have duties and meetings to go to. but for now, you were his.

“little one,” he mumbles into your hair, hands tight around your waist, “make a pact with me. that you may be at my side forevermore.”

v. barbatos

in so many other timelines he sees you, shining, alive. he starts to resent the other versions of himself for being happy with you (or even worse, happy with any of the others). barbatos could pull you out as easily as he could breathe; he had a mastery over his powers that other lower demons could only imagine.

but it wouldn’t be the same, he reminds himself, it wouldn’t be his version of you.

he knew the way to get you back, it’d be to break his own rule: do not interact with the past. diavolo had given him permission to bring you back, it would be a stain on the exchange student program if one of the humans came back dead after the second semester. but he wasn’t so sure, what if the you he brought back wasn’t the you he remembered?

barbatos does it anyways, knowing he can’t refuse an order from his lord. the you in the celestial realm will be erased from existence replaced with the you of the past, the one who doesn’t know what it’s like to die. the two can only hope it doesn’t cause drama in the celestial realm.

“barbatos?” you question as you walk in the gardens with him, completely oblivious to it all. if he hadn’t been so happy that you had returned, he would feel guilty for not telling you of your death. sometimes, ignorance was bliss. “are you okay? you seem more quiet than usual.”

“do i?” he muses, forcing a soft smile for you. “i’m afraid i’m simply just a bit tired. sleep evaded me last night.” the last part wasn’t a lie.

“sorry to hear that,” you pout, “if you want to go nap, you should!

“do you not wish to spend time with me?”

“it’s not that…” you kick at the ground, arms crossed behind your back. “it’s just we have all the time in the world though, right? i want you to be rested when we’re together.”

he feels as if you’ve struck him with an arrow to his chest. barbatos sees your lifeless body in his mind, did you know and were trying to taunt him? or were you simply just this sweet?

“i suppose you’re right.” he nods his head, “but you’re coming with me.”

#simeon #solomon #diavolo #barbatos #luke #simeon x reader #barbatos x reader #solomon x reader #diavolo x reader #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me nightbringer #imagines #hurt/comfort #angst #ficlet #x reader #repost !#q

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justmwahstruly · 2 days

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WH Zombie Au!!!

*dead parts on the body are parts that can twist and bend unlike usual; essentially, the bone there is broken or missing, allowing the part to move however as the person pleases.

(more) INFODUMPING!!!

So!! The case with this au is that there are THREE basic types of person. There are the (losers) Uninfected, who are just normal people. Then there are the Feral, which are your stereotypical, people-eating zombies. Lastly, there are the Sentient, like Molly in this au! The Feral are often killed off for being dangerous, though some just have them locked up and fed with animals because they cant stand the idea of killing off someone they once knew and loved. Many Sentients can turn Feral, sometimes only temporarily (like Molly) and sometimes permanently.

I think the whole thing would center around this little diner with mostly Sentient employees and likewise mostly Sentient customers. Molly, Julie, and Howdy are employees there! Friendly for all, of course!

please, take a doodle where I didn’t fully draw Howdy bc i didn’t want to 🫶

Many Uninfecteds tend to keep distanced from Sentients, since they obviously can go feral unexpectedly. Which is why mostly Sentients are customers at the diner.

For those exact reasons, Sentients often aren’t allowed to go to university and have important jobs like construction or medical if they have any history of going feral, because of the risk it puts the Uninfecteds. Sometimes they don’t even let them if they haven’t got any history of going feral, because what if they do? They deem it too dangerous.

(Also, the Feral don’t simply bite people or eat brains or whatever. They full on EAT PEOPLE. Hence the danger n stuff)

I think the AU would be people adjusting from the outbreak and the Sentients fighting for rights. Simple! (And also a slight focus on Molly trying her very best not to go completely feral because she has her moments. She’s doing her best)

So now, have some doodles!

and also.,….,…. me n my homie @twolitwicksinatrenchcoat decided our ocs would be literally so wonderful for each other in this au and it’s great

they love each other and i want to do more infodumping sbout them alone but later 🫶

I hope y’all enjoy this AU! It’s very fun and silly and it’s my newest hyperfixation as of right now heahhehahehah

(I’m lowkey nervous to post this hehe)

#molly melancholy #welcome home oc #welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home zombie au #wh zombie au #wh au #julie welcome home #julie joyful #howdy welcome home #howdy pillar #flint fisher #WHAT IS FLINTS LAST NAME AUAUAUUAUA dies #art

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cheynovak · 3 days

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Healing Bonds

Dean Winchester x F/Reader Y/N

Warnings: 18+, Emotional damage, sexual tension, smut, ...

Side note: English isn’t my first language.

I didn’t proofread, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

*Does not follow The SPN storyline *

After an ugly fight with Sam, Dean decides to take a few days for himself and wounds up at Jody’s place. She introduced him to Y/N a work friend, Y/N is the new psychologist in town, who Jody working on a few cases together.

Dean is hesitant to accept her help but can he resist her charm?

Dean’s boots crunched against the gravel as he approached Jody Mills' doorstep. The drive had been long, filled with the echoes of the fight he had with his brother. It felt like betrayal, leaving him alone. But Dean couldn’t stay holed up in the bunker any longer.

Jody greeted him with a warm embrace, “There he is!” her motherly presence a balm to his troubled soul. She ushered him inside, concern etched into the lines of her face. Dean tried to mask his turmoil, but Jody saw through the facade with the sharp eyes of someone who had weathered many storms.

“Dean,” she began gently, “I can see it in your eyes. What’s wrong?” - “Nothing, he tried to brush it off.” Her face let him know without any words she didn’t believe him.

He shrugged his shoulder, avoiding her gaze. “Just a little disagreement with Sam. We’ll sort it out.” Jody didn’t press further, knowing Dean’s reluctance to open up. Instead, she steered the conversation towards lighter topics, hoping to ease the weight that hung between them.

As Dean volunteer to help her with the dishes she saw an opportunity. “I know someone who might be able to help,” Jody said tentatively, breaking the uneasy silence that had settled over them like a shroud.

Dean arched an eyebrow in question, his interest piqued despite himself. “Help with what?”

“Your mental health, Dean,” Jody said softly. “I can see the toll this is taking on you. And I’m worried.”

Dean’s defences went up immediately, his pride wounded by the implication that he couldn’t handle his own problems. “I don’t need a shrink, Jody. I’m fine.” But Jody wasn’t one to be swayed by bravado.

“Dean, there’s no shame in seeking help when you need it. This psychologist, Dr. Y/L/N, she’s helped a lot of people deal with their demons. And I know she can help you too.”

Dean scoffed, the bitterness of his resentment bubbling to the surface. “You think talking to some shrink is gonna fix everything? It’s not that simple, Jody.”

“Maybe not,” Jody conceded, her voice steady with conviction. “But it’s a start. And you owe it to yourself to try.” He kept shaking his head, “I fight demons every day, the ones in my head are the least of my worries.”

Jody watched him retreat, his footsteps echoing the weight of his burden with each resolute stride. She knew she couldn’t force him, but she refused to give in so easily.

As Dean disappeared into the night for a walk, Jody busied herself with the remnants of their dinner. Thinking she had seen Dean weather countless storms, his resilience a testament to the strength that lay beneath his rough exterior.

But this time he looked vulnerable in a way she had never seen before. With a heavy sigh, Jody reached for her phone, her fingers tracing the familiar contours of the device.

It rang twice before a familiar voice answered, warm and comforting "Hey, Jody. What’s up?" Y/N’s voice filled the silence. "Hey, sweetheart," Jody said, her voice tinged with a weariness she couldn’t shake. "I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night. I thought maybe we could have dinner together."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, “Jody are you ok? Is this a work thing or do you need someone to...” Jody quickly interfered “Oh no, no, nothing is wrong, just a dinner invitation.”

"Of course, Jody," Y/N replied, her voice soft with empathy. "I’ll be there."

As Jody hung up the phone, a flicker of hope ignited within her chest.

The next night

When Jody arrived home, her weary eyes softened at the sight before her. “Dean," she began gently, her voice a soothing balm to the ache that lingered in his soul. "What’s all this?"

“I thought since you worked all day I could help around here. So, I made dinner.” He smiled like a little kid surprising his mom on mother's day. “Thats great, but we do need an extra plate.”

Dean looked quizzed, “Y/N a work friend is joining us.” She smiles without giving much explanation. ”Do you want me to leave?” He asked. “Oh no, you’ll love her.”

The bell rings Jody answers the door while Dean takes care of the table.

As Jody ushered Y/N into the room, Dean's eyes flickered up from his plate, his gaze meeting hers in a moment of quiet appraisal. She looked like the typical rich girl next door.

Her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, her outfit simple yet elegant in its understated charm. She was cute, he supposed, in a wholesome sort of way. A little nerdy, a little basic but cute.

As Jody introduced them, she smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she extended a hand in greeting.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/N," Dean said, his voice tinged with a hint of warmth that surprised even him. "The pleasure is all mine," Y/N replied, her tone genuine and kind as she returned his handshake with a gentle squeeze.

As they settled into dinner, the conversation didn’t flow easily. An awkward silence hung heavy in the air.

Y/N took a bite of the meal, her eyes widening in delight as she savoured the flavours that danced across her palate. "This is delicious," she exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine admiration. "You're quite the chef, Jody."

Jody smiled, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes as she exchanged a knowing glance with Dean. "Actually, Dean made it," she replied, her voice tinged with pride.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, her gaze flickering to Dean with newfound appreciation. "Really?" she exclaimed. Dean shrugged, a hint of color rising to his cheeks at the unexpected praise. "Just trying to do my part," he mumbled, his voice tinged with modesty.

While Jody opened a conversation with Dean which quickly turned to the familiar territory of cases and hunts, Dean's shoulders tensed, his jaw clenching with a palpable tension that hung in the air like a storm on the horizon.

His eyes flickered over to Y/N, to warn Jody. "Y/N knows about the supernatural," she said to ease him. Dean's eyes widened in surprise, She does?" he exclaimed, his voice tinged with disbelief.

Jody nodded, "Yes, Dean, I eh, helped her a few months ago with a shifter problem." Y/N smiled softly looking at her plate. “In return I see Claire and Alex monthly in my practice.”

“P-practice?” Dean echoed, “Yeah, I’m a psychologist.” Dean’s eyes grew wide while he excused himself, asking if Jody could follow him to the kitchen. Not knowing Y/N would hear every word.

“What is this Jody?” He asked with a slight anger in his voice. "You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Dean," she said softly. "You have people who care about you, people who can help."

Dean's defences went up immediately, his instinct to protect those he cared about kicking into overdrive. "I can handle it, Jody," he insisted, his voice tight with emotion. "I always have."

But Jody wasn't one to be swayed by bravado. "I know you can, Dean," she replied gently. "But that doesn’t mean it would be a bad thing to see a professional."

Dean felt a surge of anger bubble up within him. He had always prided himself on his ability to shoulder the burden of his own struggles, to face the demons that haunted his mind.

Jody watched him carefully, her eyes soft with concern as she sensed the storm that raged within his soul. "Dean," she began gently. But before she could finish her sentence.

Dean's temper flared, his voice laced with venom as he lashed out with words born from pain and bitterness. "I don't need some shrink poking around in my head, Jody," he spat, his words cutting through the air like a knife. "I'm not broken, okay? I'm fine."

His anger consuming him like a wildfire as he unleashed a torrent of pent-up frustration upon the woman who had become like a mother to him. "You think you know what's best for me, don't you?" he seethed, his voice rising with each word.

"Well, newsflash, Jody—I don't need your pity, and I sure as hell don't need some quack telling me how to live my life." And with that, he stormed out of the kitchen.

Alone at the table, Y/N listened in stunned silence. Dean's steps faltered as he emerged from the kitchen, his eyes meeting Y/N's across the room.

And for a moment, he felt a flicker of shame wash over him—a realization of the hurtful words he had unleashed in a moment of anger. Without a word he reached for his coat and stepped out into the cool night air.

Y/N and Jody heard the engine of the impala roar as he drove off in the night.

As Jody and Y/N sat together in the quiet of the living room, the weight of Dean's turmoil heavy upon their hearts, Jody took a deep breath. She knew that Y/N would be able to understand the complexities of Dean's behaviour, the layers of pain and fear that lay beneath the surface of his bravado.

"Y/N," Jody began gently, her voice tinged with compassion, "Dean's... you have to understand... he's been through a lot. He's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and sometimes, it's hard for him to see past his own pain."

Y/N nodded in understanding, her expression thoughtful as she processed Jody's words. "I get that, Jody," she replied softly. "But if he doesn't want help, there's only so much we can do."

Jody sighed, her heart heavy with the truth of Y/N's words. "I know," she admitted ruefully. "But that doesn't mean we stop trying. Dean may be stubborn, but maybe if I keep trying, he'll come around."

"I'll do whatever I can to help, Jody," she said earnestly. "But ultimately, the decision is up to Dean. We can't force him.” Jody smiled softly, grateful for Y/N's unwavering support. "Thank you, Y/N," she said sincerely.

The familiar growl of Baby echoing through the stillness of the night. Led Zeppelin blared from the speakers, the raw energy of the music a perfect match for the storm of emotions raging within him.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles white with tension, as he navigated the empty streets with a single-minded determination.

Damn it, Jody, he thought bitterly, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. How could she do this to him? How could she put him on the spot like that, inviting Y/N over without even asking him first? It felt like a betrayal.

But as he drove through the darkness, his thoughts tumbling in a chaotic whirlwind of anger and frustration, Dean couldn't shake the nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe, Jody was right.

Maybe he did need help, maybe he couldn't do this alone anymore. But the mere thought of opening up to someone, of laying bare the darkest corners of his soul for all to see, filled him with a sense of dread so profound it threatened to swallow him whole.

He pounded his fist against the steering wheel, the sound echoing through the car like a gunshot in the night. "Damn it, Dean," he muttered to himself, his voice thick with self-loathing. "Get it together."

The town was cloaked in darkness as Dean parked Baby along the deserted street, the soft hum of the engine fading into the stillness of the night. He stepped out into the cool night air, the faint scent of rain lingering on the breeze as he made his way towards a nearby bench.

He sank onto the wooden seat, the weight of his exhaustion settling upon him like a heavy blanket. Hours of driving had done little to quiet the storm of emotions that raged within him.

Dean’s mind churned with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as he sat on the bench, lost in the labyrinth of his own turmoil. The sound of a car pulled him from his thoughts.

He glanced up to see Y/N's car pulling up beside him. He watched as she rolled down the window, her concern evident in the furrow of her brow. she called out softly, her voice carrying on the night breeze. "Are you okay?"

Dean's initial reaction was defensive, “Just need some time alone sugar.” He clenched his jaw, his gaze hardening as he met Y/N's concerned eyes.

Y/N's expression faltered at his response, "Okay," she said softly, her voice tinged with understanding. "Well, if you ever want to talk, I know a bar nearby..."

Dean's walls wavered for a moment, a pang of guilt tightening his chest at the warmth in Y/N's offer. But before he could respond, his defences snapped back into place, his pride wounded by the vulnerability of her gesture.

"Yeah, thanks," he muttered gruffly, “But I’m not one of your patients.”

Y/N looked at him for a second, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. ”Well, I never said you were, besides, I don’t meet my patients in bars.” she rolled up the window and drove away. Alone once more, Dean felt a pang of regret twist in his chest.

Only to see her parking her car down the road. “Are you coming?” She yelled while standing on the side of the road waving.

He and Y/N stepped into the dimly lit bar, the low hum of conversation and the clink of glasses filling the air as they made their way to the counter. Dean's senses were assaulted by the familiar scent of whiskey and beer, the rhythmic beat of the music pulsing through the room like a steady heartbeat.

Dean ordered their drinks, a whiskey for himself and a beer for Y/N. As they settled into an easy rhythm of conversation, the tension of earlier dissipating in the warmth of their shared company. Their shoulders brushing against each other every so often.

As the night wore on and the drinks flowed freely, Dean found himself relaxing in a way he hadn't in months, the weight of his troubles easing with each sip of whiskey.

And as he glanced over at Y/N, she did something unexpected, something that caught Dean off guard in the best possible way. She took off the jumper she was wearing only to reveal a white tank top.

Dean's eyes widened slightly as Y/N leaned back, to reach up and let down her hair, the soft strands cascading around her shoulders.

The movement causing her shirt to shift just so, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of cleavage beneath. For a moment, his breath caught in his throat, his heart skipping a beat at the unexpected sight before him.

Mesmerized by her transformation, Dean couldn't help but feel a rush of heat flood his cheeks as he took in the sight of her. Gone was the shy, boring girl he had seen before, replaced instead by a woman with a seductive charm that left him utterly captivated.

His gaze lingering on the gentle curve of her neckline, the soft swell of her breasts barely concealed beneath the fabric of her shirt. It was a subtle change, yet one that spoke volumes.

As Dean's gaze lingered on Y/N's curves, his mind began to wander into forbidden territory, a rush of heat flooding his body as he entertained thoughts that had no place in their current conversation. He cleared his throat, attempting to push the inappropriate thoughts aside, but they stubbornly refused to be ignored.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked seeing how Dean took a big sip. With a nervous chuckle, Dean leaned back against the bar, his voice laced with a hint of teasing as he attempted to lighten the mood.

"You know, if I had a doctor as hot as you," he remarked with a playful grin, "I wouldn't mind scheduling weekly appointments." He immediately regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, a pang of guilt twisting in his chest at the realization of how inappropriate his comment had been.

But before he could apologize, he saw the twinkle in Y/N's eyes, the playful glint that mirrored his own. She laughed softly, her cheeks tinted with a faint blush as she met his gaze with a knowing smile. "Careful, Dean," she replied, her voice tinged with amusement.

"You might just end up needing therapy after all." His mouth went dry as she raised the bottle of beer to her lips, the cool glass pressing against her skin as she took a slow, deliberate sip.

His gaze locked onto her lips, watching in silent fascination as they parted to allow the amber liquid to trickle down her throat, the movement hypnotic in its grace and sensuality.

His breath caught in his throat as he imagined what it would feel like to taste the beer on her lips, to feel the warmth of her mouth against his own. "Yeah, you might be right about that," he whispered.

Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine, a rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins as she savoured the delicious tension that crackled between them. For a moment, it was as if they were the only two people in the world, lost in their own private bubble.

But just as quickly as it had begun, the moment passed, broken by the sound of the bartender calling last call. Dean glanced at the clock, realizing with a start how late it had gotten.

"Well, I guess that's our cue to call it a night," he said reluctantly. Y/N nodded, a smile playing at the corners of her lips as she slid off her stool.

Dean walked Y/N to the wall outside the bar, their footsteps echoing in the quiet of the night as they came to a stop beneath the flickering streetlight.

His heart pounded in his chest as he looked down at her, a mixture of longing and hesitation swirling in his gaze. “Let me drive you home.”

As Y/N declined Dean's offer, insisting that her place was just a block away and she would walk, Dean felt a surge of protectiveness wash over him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice laced with concern as he fell into step beside her, his footsteps matching hers with an easy rhythm. "I don't mind giving you a ride. It's late, and you never know what kind of creeps might be lurking around."

Y/N smiled softly, her eyes warm with gratitude as she reached out to gently squeeze his arm. "I appreciate the offer, Dean," she replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "But I can take care of myself. Besides, a little late-night stroll never hurt anyone."

"Okay, but if you need anything, you call me, alright?" he repeated softly, his voice tinged with emotion as he reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face.

Y/N nodded, her eyes locked on his, her breath catching in her throat at the intensity of his gaze.

"I will," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.

And then, before she could say anything else, Dean leaned in closer, his lips gliding over hers in a silent caress. It wasn't a kiss, not really, just the barest brush of skin against skin, the faintest hint of warmth mingling between them.

As Dean's lips hovered tantalizingly close to Y/N's, she felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over her. But before she could voice her hesitation, Dean pulled away slightly, his eyes searching hers for any sign of regret or uncertainty.

"It's not a good idea," Y/N whispered, her voice barely above a whisper as she struggled to articulate the thoughts that raced through her mind. "It's... inappropriate."

Dean's brow furrowed in confusion, his expression clouded with uncertainty as he tried to make sense of her words. “I'm not your patient, Y/N" he protested softly, his voice tinged with hurt.

Y/N shook her head, her gaze pleading as she reached out to gently touch his arm. "It's not that," she replied, her voice trembling with emotion. "It's... we're both... we're both too drunk. We might regret it later."

Dean's heart sank at Y/N's words, a wave of hurt crashing over him as he struggled to process the implication behind her hesitation. He felt a surge of anger rise within him, his defences springing up in response.

"Why?" he demanded, his voice tinged with bitterness as he met her gaze with a steely resolve. "Is it because I'm a lost cause? A fuck-up? Traumatized beyond repair?"

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise at his outburst, her own emotions swirling in a tumultuous whirlwind of regret and frustration. "No, Dean, that's not what I meant," she protested, her voice trembling with emotion.

But Dean wasn't listening, the weight of his own insecurities pressing down upon him like a suffocating blanket. "I get it," he muttered bitterly, his gaze flickering away as he turned to walk away. "I'm just a broken mess, right? Not worth anyone's time or affection."

“You had time to study me in that bar right? That’s it.” Y/N's heart twisted with guilt at his words, "Dean, please," she pleaded, reaching out to grab his arm and turn him back towards her. "That's not what I meant at all."

But Dean shrugged off her touch, he turned and walked away, leaving Y/N standing alone in the darkness.

The next morning, Jody found Dean sitting at the kitchen table, his gaze fixed on a cup of coffee. She raised an eyebrow inquisitively as she poured herself a cup, taking a seat across from him.

"Late night?" she asked with a smile, her tone light and teasing.

Dean nodded, his expression unreadable as he took a sip of his coffee. "Yeah," he replied quietly.

Jody's smile faltered as she noticed the tension in his demeanor, a frown creasing her brow as she studied him intently. "Everything okay?" she asked gently, concern lacing her words.

Dean hesitated for a moment, "I'm not sure," he admitted finally, his voice barely above a whisper. Jody's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" she pressed, her concern growing by the second.

"I think I might have hurt her," he confessed, “Who?" she asked softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his arm. Dean shook his head, his gaze distant as he recounted the events of the previous night. “Y/N”

“Y/N? No, I spoke with her, she said she is willing to help you if you are ready, she won’t push you into therapy.” Dean looked at her. “I saw her after diner, we eh, had a drink at the bar.”

“Oh.” was all Jody could say. "I said some things," he admitted ruefully, his voice heavy with remorse. "Things I didn't mean."- “Why don’t you go talked to her?" she asked gently, her voice filled with compassion.

Dean just nodded still looking at his coffee.

Y/N stood in her office, the faint sound of her patient's footsteps echoing through the room as he made his way out. She rubbed her temples, her head throbbing with the remnants of a hangover from the previous night. It had been a rough morning.

As she glanced up, her gaze fell upon Dean standing in the waiting room, a hesitant expression on his face. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, a rush of conflicting emotions swirling within her.

Part of her wanted to run to him, to throw herself into his arms and beg for forgiveness. But another part hesitated, afraid of what his presence might mean.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever might come next, before making her way out to greet him.

"Dean," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. He turned to face her, his eyes searching hers with a mixture of hope and apprehension. "Hey," he replied.

Y/N studied him for a moment, taking in the lines of exhaustion etched into his features, ”Everything ok?” She asked calm and professional.

Dean seemed to choose his next words carefully. He interpreted her calmness as a boundary. “I eh, I think I want an appointment.” Y/N's heart sank at Dean's unexpected request, a surge of hurt and disappointment welling up inside her.

She had hoped for reconciliation, "An appointment?" she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper as she struggled to make sense of his words.

Dean nodded, his expression serious as he met her gaze with unwavering resolve. "Yeah," he replied evenly. "I think it's time I talked to someone about... everything."

“Yeah sure. Eh, how about tomorrow around four?” Dean nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Ok, I’ll eh, I’ll be here.” - “Great.” Y/N said trying to hold back her sad sigh.

As Y/N sat alone in her office during lunch, her thoughts swirling with a whirlwind of emotions, she couldn't shake the memory of the night before,the tension, the longing, the almost kiss that had hung between them like a fragile thread waiting to be broken.

She knew she should be happy that Dean wanted to open up to her in a professional way, to seek help for the demons that haunted him day and night. And yet, a part of her couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment at the missed opportunity.

Closing her eyes, Y/N took a deep breath, willing herself to push aside the thoughts and feelings, she had to focus on the present and the future, the opportunity to support Dean in whatever way he needed.

As the clock struck four, Dean found himself standing outside her office, his heart pounding in his chest with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation that lay ahead.

As he walked in her waiting room she just let out the last patient before him. ”Dean” she smiles soft, “Come on in.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably on Y/N's couch, feeling out of place in the unfamiliar surroundings of her office. He ran a hand through his hair, his thoughts swirling with uncertainty as he struggled to find words.

"I... I don't really know how this works," he admitted finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N nodded understandingly, her gaze warm and compassionate as she met his eyes. "That's okay, Dean," she reassured him gently. "There's no right or wrong way to do this. Just take your time, and say whatever comes to mind."

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath as he tried to gather his thoughts. "Okay," he said slowly, his voice thick with emotion. "I guess... I guess I should start with Sam."

Y/N nodded encouragingly, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "That sounds like a good place to start," she replied softly. "Tell me about your brother."

As Dean delved into his memories of growing up with Sam, his words flowed freely, each one carrying a weight of emotion that had long been buried beneath the surface.

He spoke of their childhood, marked by loss after their mother's death, and the relentless training they endured at the hands of their father.

"We were raised as soldiers," Dean murmured, his voice tinged with both pride and sorrow. "From the moment Mom died, Dad made sure we knew how to defend ourselves, how to survive in a world filled with monsters and demons."

“It was my job to look out for Sam.” He looked at his hands. “So I did...” he smirks “I still do.” Y/N could see there was more to it than he talked about, but she kept quiet and nodded to him to keep talking.

"I'm proud of Sam," Dean confessed, a hint of awe in his voice. "He's smart, you know? Smarter than I ever was. He could stand his ground against Dad, I never could, I eh, I always obeyed him.”

"It sounds like you and Sam have been through a lot together," she remarked softly, her voice gentle and understanding. Dean nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yeah," he agreed quietly. "We have."

When Y/N gently probed Dean about his rift with Sam, he felt a pang of discomfort tighten in his chest. "I left Sam for a while," he admitted, his voice laced with a mixture of regret and defiance. "We had a fight. It... it got ugly."

Y/N nodded, her expression sympathetic as she reached out to offer him a comforting smile. "Do you want to talk more about that?" she asked softly, her tone gentle and non-judgmental.

But Dean shook his head, his gaze flickering away as he struggled to find the right words. "Not right now," he replied quietly, his voice tinged with hesitation. "Maybe... maybe another time."

Y/N nodded understandingly, respecting his boundaries as she shifted the conversation to safer territory. They spoke of hunting. The thrill of the chase, the rush of adrenaline, the satisfaction of knowing that they were making the world a safer place, one monster at a time.

And as the session came to an end, Dean felt a sense of relief wash over him. He looked up at Y/N realising he had been looking at his hands and feet this whole time.

“Same time next week?” She asked careful. Dean nodded before walking out the door, Y/N followed closely. He stopped abruptly and turned, his heart skipping a beat as he nearly collided with Y/N who was just about to leave her office.

Their eyes met, a charged silence falling between them as they stood there, inches apart. Dean towered over her, his gaze intense as he searched her face. But all he found was a warmth that mirrored his own a connection that pulsed between them, drawing them closer with each passing moment.

For a heartbeat, they stood there together, suspended in time and space, their hearts racing in tandem. And then, just as quickly as it had begun, the moment passed, broken by the sound of Dean's voice as he spoke softly.

"Thank you," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "For everything."

Y/N smiled up at him, her eyes shining with warmth and understanding. "You're welcome," she replied softly, her voice barely above a whisper. Seeing how Dean turned around and walked out.

As the weeks passed, Dean continued to show up to his appointments with Y/N, each session bringing them closer together as they delved deeper into the depths of his past that haunted him.

With each passing week, Y/N caught glimpses of the man behind the mask—the vulnerability and pain that lay hidden beneath his tough exterior.

And as their connection deepened, so too did their longing for each other, a silent undercurrent that pulsed between them with every shared glance and fleeting touch.

They danced around the edges of their feelings, each too afraid to take that final leap into the unknown, too afraid of what it might mean for their fragile relationship.

But last night, as Y/N drifted off to sleep, she found herself lost in a dream.

A dream of Dean walking into her office, his eyes dark with desire as he crossed the room to stand before her. And then, without a word, he reached out and pulled her into his arms, his lips meeting hers in a heated kiss that left her breathless and wanting more.

As she woke from the dream, her heart pounding in her chest, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of warmth that lingered on her lips, the memory of Dean's touch still fresh in her mind, as if it had been real.

During their session, that day Y/N found herself unable to focus on Dean, her thoughts consumed by the vivid memory of her dream. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she struggled to regain her composure.

Dean noticed her distraction, his brow furrowing in concern as he reached out to gently touch her arm. "Hey, is everything okay?" he asked softly, his voice filled with genuine concern.

Y/N hesitated, her gaze flickering away as she tried to find the right words. But before she could respond, Dean spoke again, his tone gentle yet firm.

"Maybe... maybe you need some time off," he suggested, his eyes searching hers with unwavering intensity. "You seem... distracted. And I don't want to add to your stress."

“It’s my job Dean, I’m fine, just had a bad night.” Dean’s eyes searched hers. "How about dinner?" he suggested, his voice tinged with warmth. "With me, Jody, and the girls. We could use a night off, don't you think?"

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the invitation, a rush of excitement coursing through her veins. "I would love that," she replied.

Dean worked in the kitchen, preparing the dish he knew Y/N liked, the scent of savoury spices and herbs filled the air, mingling with the warm aroma of home-cooked food. Meanwhile, Claire and Alex bustled around the dining room, setting the table and arranging the plates and silverware with meticulous care.

As they worked, they overheard Jody's comment "Dean, you’re smelling really good, But, eh, I’m sure Y/N will be impressed just by your food.” She joked.

Claire and Alex couldn't help but exchange a knowing look, a silent acknowledgment of the budding attraction between their mom’s friend and the ruggedly handsome hunter.

Claire smirked mischievously at Alex, a twinkle of amusement dancing in her eyes. "Looks like someone's got a crush," she teased, her voice barely above a whisper.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully, but couldn't hide the hint of a smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, well, can you blame Y/N ?" she replied with a smirk of her own. "Dean's not exactly hard on the eyes."

As Y/N walked into the room, all dressed up for the dinner, Dean's breath caught in his throat, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of her. She looked stunning, her hair falling in soft waves around her shoulders, her eyes sparkling with warmth and laughter.

For a moment, Dean was speechless, his gaze locked on her with a mixture of awe and admiration. He couldn't tear his eyes away, couldn't find the words to express the rush of emotions that surged through him at the sight of her.

Y/N smiled shyly, a blush rising to her cheeks under the intensity of Dean's gaze.

"Hi," she said softly, her voice tinged with nervousness. "Hi," Dean replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure as he gestured towards the table. "Dinner's almost ready."

They sat down to dinner, Dean couldn't tear his eyes away from Y/N, his gaze lingering on her with a mixture of awe and longing. He watched as she closed her eyes, tasting the flavours of his dish, a flush of heat spreading through him at the sight of her enjoyment.

Dean focused all his attention on Y/N. He watched the way her lips curved into a smile as she savoured each bite, the way her eyes lit up with delight at the flavors dancing on her tongue.

He felt like a teenager again, head over heels in love for the first time.

As the dinner progressed, Jody pulled out the liquor, pouring drinks for everyone as they settled into conversation. Y/N engaged Claire in a discussion about hunting, asking questions and listening intently to her experiences, while also inquiring about Alex's work at the hospital.

But no matter who she was talking to, her eyes kept wandering back to Dean, locking with his every few seconds.

Dean, now feeling the effects of the alcohol, grew bolder with his looks. He couldn't help but feel like he was eye-fucking Y/N, his gaze lingering on her longer than necessary, his heart racing with a heady mix of desire and anticipation.

Sensing the tension between Dean and Y/N, Jody glanced between them with a knowing smile. "Alright, you two," she said casually, rising from her seat. "Why don't you kids help me in the kitchen for a bit?"

Claire and Alex exchanged a quick glance, catching on to Jody's subtle hint, before nodding in agreement and following her lead.

Unable to resist any longer, Dean leaned in closer to Y/N, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he spoke. "You know, you look absolutely stunning tonight," he murmured, his words laced with a raw intensity that made Y/N's breath catch in her throat.

Dean looked back at the kitchen noticing how the three women were listening to them. “Want to go outside for a bit?” Y/N immediately understood him.

They stepped out onto the porch, the cool night air washing over them as they looked out into the darkness of the woods. A quiet serenity settled around them, broken only by the sound of their breathing.

Feeling the weight of Dean's presence behind her, Y/N leaned back slightly, her body instinctively seeking his warmth and comfort. She felt his hands gently settle on her shoulders, his touch sending a shiver of anticipation down her spine.

And then, in a voice filled with raw emotion, Dean spoke, his words echoing in the stillness of the night. "I can't stop thinking about you," he murmured softly, his breath warm against her ear, kissing the sensitive spot behind it.

As Dean's words hung in the air, Y/N felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over her. She closed her eyes, trying to steady her racing heart as she grappled with the weight of his confession.

"This is wrong," she whispered, but Dean's response was immediate, his voice filled with determination. "You've said that before," he murmured softly, his breath heavy, placing kisses on her neck. "But I know what I want, Y/N.” he said in between kisses “And I want you."

Y/N's heart clenched at his words, a mixture of fear and longing swirling within her. She knew the risks of giving in to their desires, of crossing that line. But in that moment, as she stood there in Dean's arms, she couldn't deny the pull of their connection.

The magnetic force that drew them together, refusing to be ignored. She turned to face him, she looked into Dean's eyes, she saw the truth reflected back at her. The depth of his feelings, the sincerity of his words.

With a trembling breath, Y/N leaned in closer to Dean, her lips brushing against his as she whispered, "I want you too." Before their lips meet.

As their kiss deepened, Dean's hands found their way to Y/N's waist, pulling her closer to him with a gentle yet firm touch. He felt the fabric of her dress, wondering what her skin would feel like beneath his fingertips.

Y/N's hands roamed over Dean's chest, tracing the contours of his muscles with a feather-light touch. She felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her palm, a comforting reassurance of the passion that burned between them.

Their bodies pressed together, each movement synchronized as they lost themselves in the heat of the moment. Soft moans escaped their lips, mingling with the sound of their breathless gasps as they surrendered to the intoxicating pleasure of their embrace.

Their hands tangled in each other's hair, fingers threading through the soft strands as they deepened their kiss even further. It was a dance of desire, a symphony of sensations that enveloped them in a whirlwind of passion and ecstasy.

And as they finally broke apart, their chests heaving with exertion, Dean and Y/N found themselves lost in each other's gaze. With a soft smile he closed the space in between them again.

As Dean's hand moved under Y/N's dress, his lips trailing along her neck with a hunger that threatened to consume them both, Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of desire coursing through her veins. She melted into his touch, her body responding instinctively to the warmth of his embrace.

But as the intensity of their passion threatened to overwhelm her, a flicker of uncertainty crept into Y/N's mind. She couldn't shake the fear of being caught by Jody or the girls.

"Dean," she murmured softly, her voice trembling with both desire and apprehension. "I... I don't know if we should..." Dean's lips silenced her words with a searing kiss.

"Please," Dean whispered against her lips, his voice filled with longing. ”I need to feel you sweetheart.” His touch igniting a fire within her that burned hotter with each passing moment.

But even as she melted into his embrace, Y/N couldn't shake the nagging worry that lingered at the back of her mind. Feeling Y/N's doubt weighing heavy in the air, Dean gently pulled back, his gaze searching hers with understanding. He knew that pushing her further in that moment would only add to her uncertainty.

Instead, he looked around, his eyes landing on the Impala parked nearby. A spark of inspiration ignited within him, and he reached out to take Y/N's hand, intertwining their fingers as he led her towards the car.

"Let's go for a ride," he suggested softly, his voice tinged with warmth and reassurance.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded, a flicker of excitement dancing in her gaze. With Dean's hand in hers, she felt a sense of comfort and security wash over her, dispelling the lingering doubts that had clouded her mind.

They climbed into the Impala, the engine roaring to life beneath them as Dean guided the car out onto the open road. Eventually, Dean pulled into an empty parking spot near the end of a park, the soft glow of the streetlights casting a warm golden hue over everything.

He turned off the engine and turned to face Y/N, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Here we are," he said softly, his eyes shining with affection. "Just you, me, and the open road. No distractions, no worries. Just us."

As the intimacy between them heightened in the confined space of the Impala, Dean closed the gap between them, his heart pounding in his chest with anticipation. He could feel the heat of his desire coursing through him.

With a trembling hand, Dean reached out to cup Y/N's face, his thumb tracing the curve of her cheek as he looked into her eyes. And then, unable to resist any longer, he leaned in closer, his lips capturing hers in a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

Y/N responded eagerly, her hands moving to tangle in Dean's hair as she deepened the kiss, her body pressing against his with a desperate need. Dean's hands roamed over her body, his touch igniting a fire within her that burned hotter with each passing moment.

His fingers brushed over the curves of her breasts, the fabric of her dress a barrier between them that only served to heighten their desire. Dean could feel his arousal growing with each touch, his erection straining against his pants as he longed to feel Y/N's skin against his own.

Their passion continued to build, the air around them thick with the heady scent of desire. Dean suggested, "Let's move to the back seat."

Once settled in the spacious back seat, Dean's hands found their way to Y/N's waist, pulling her close as their lips met in another heated kiss. The back seat of the Impala became their private haven where they could freely explore the depths of their passion without fear of interruption.

With a sense of urgency and longing, Dean's hands moved to the hem of Y/N's dress, fingers deftly working to pull the fabric upwards. As the dress slipped off her body, revealing her skin beneath, Dean's breath caught in his throat at the sight of her beauty laid bare before him.

Leaning in closer, his lips pressed against the newly exposed skin, trailing a path of soft kisses along her neck and down her collarbone. Each touch was a tender caress. Taking his time.

Y/N gasped softly at the sensation, her fingers tangling in Dean's hair as she pulled him closer, urging him on. The warmth of his lips against her skin sent shivers of pleasure coursing through her body, letting out a soft moan “Dean...”

With trembling hands, Y/N reached out to Dean, her fingers working deftly to undo his clothing, her touch sending shivers of pleasure coursing through him.

As each piece of clothing fell away, Dean's skin tingled with anticipation, the warmth of Y/N's touch searing into his flesh.

Her fingers traced the contours of his shoulders and back, leaving a trail of electric sensation. Dean's breath caught in his throat at the intimacy of their embrace, his heart pounding in his chest as he surrendered himself to the overwhelming passion that consumed them both.

As Y/N felt Dean's arousal pressing against her wet core, a surge of desire pulsed through her, igniting a fiery need that demanded to be satisfied, a soft moan escaping her lips, she instinctively wrapped a leg around Dean's hip, pulling him closer, craving more of the feeling of him against her.

Dean responded eagerly, his own desire burning bright as he pressed himself against Y/N, their bodies melding together in a primal dance of passion. The sensation of her warmth against his throbbing erection sent waves of pleasure coursing through him, heightening his arousal.

Feeling her eager response, Dean's hand moved to the fabric of Y/N's panties, his fingers sliding between the soft material and her slick folds. With practiced skill, he teased and caressed her, his touch gentle yet firm as he ensured she was ready for him.

Y/N's breath hitched at the sensation, a low moan escaping her lips as she surrendered herself to the pleasure of Dean's touch. Each stroke of his fingers sent sparks of ecstasy dancing along her skin.

As Dean's fingers slid inside her, Y/N gasped at the exquisite sensation, her body responding eagerly to his touch. With each gentle stroke, she felt herself opening up to him, her walls tightening around his fingers in a delicious embrace.

And as he curled his fingers upwards, seeking out her most sensitive spots, Y/N's breath hitched in her throat, a surge of pleasure coursing through her at the exquisite sensation.

Her back arched instinctively, pressing herself against him as she surrendered herself to the overwhelming feeling. Dean's movements were slow and deliberate, each stroke sending waves of ecstasy crashing over her.

With each curl of his fingers, Y/N felt herself teetering on the edge of oblivion, her senses overwhelmed by the intensity of their connection. As Y/N spiralled over the edge of ecstasy, waves of pleasure crashing over her in a tidal wave of sensation.

She felt Dean's smile against her neck a silent testament to his pride in bringing her to such heights of pleasure.

Her moans filled the air, mingling with the sound of their ragged breaths as Dean continued to work her with skilled precision, his fingers coaxing every last ounce of pleasure from her trembling body.

And as Y/N slowly came down from her euphoric high, her senses still tingling with the echoes of her orgasm, never did she have a mind-blowing orgasm like this before.

As Dean kissed her lips with a hunger that mirrored his own, with trembling hands, she reached down, her fingers trailing over his length, coating his arousal with her own wetness.

Dean's reaction was immediate, a low groan escaping his lips as he felt the slick heat of her arousal against his skin. His body trembled with anticipation, Dean guided himself towards her entrance, his movements slow and deliberate as he pressed against her, seeking entry into her warmth.

And as he finally entered her, he felt a rush of ecstasy wash over him, a feeling of completeness that could only be found in the arms of the woman he loved. With each thrust, each gasp of pleasure that escaped their lips, Dean and Y/N surrendered themselves completely to each other.

As their bodies moved together in a frenzy of passion and desire, Dean's voice filled the air with a raw intensity, his words laced with a primal hunger that sent shivers of pleasure coursing through Y/N's veins.

"You feel so damn good," he murmured, his voice husky with desire as he thrust into her again and again. "So tight and wet for me. God, I can't get enough of you."

Y/N's breath hitched at his words, a surge of arousal flooding through her at the sound of his deep voice in her ear. She clung to him desperately, her nails digging into his skin as she surrendered herself completely to the overwhelming pleasure.

Dean's words became more urgent, more desperate, as he drove himself deeper into her, each thrust sending waves of ecstasy crashing over them both. "You like that, huh?" he growled, his voice filled with primal need. "You like it when I fuck you like this, don't you?"

Y/N's moans filled the warm air, her voice a sweet symphony of pleasure as she cried out Dean's name. The sound sent a jolt of raw desire coursing through him, igniting a primal hunger that threatened to consume him whole.

Dean's thrusts became wilder, more frenzied, as he drove himself deeper into her, chasing after the sweet release that awaited them both. "Again," he growled, his voice thick with need. "Louder, baby. Moan my name again."

Y/N complied eagerly, her voice ringing out in the night as she cried out his name. Each moan sent shockwaves of pleasure reverberating through Dean's body, driving him to the brink of madness with desire.

Their movements became sloppy, erratic, as they surrendered themselves completely to the overwhelming passion that consumed them. Y/N's nails dug into Dean's skin, leaving behind a trail of fiery sensation as she urged him on with her touch.

As their bodies reached the pinnacle of pleasure together, Dean and Y/N were consumed by a wave of ecstasy that left them both trembling in its wake. Their cries of pleasure mingled in the air, echoing off the walls of the car as they surrendered themselves completely to the overwhelming sensation of release.

Locked in a passionate embrace, their eyes met in a moment of pure connection, each seeing the reflection of their own pleasure mirrored in the other's gaze. In that instant, time seemed to stand still as they basked in the shared bliss of their union, their hearts beating as one in perfect harmony.

Dean and Y/N held onto each other tightly, their bodies still quivering with the aftershocks of their climax. And as they gazed into each other's eyes, they knew that they had found something true.

As they bodies lay tangled on the backseat of the car, Deans hand moved circles on her back. Her cheek placed against his chest, hearing his steady heartbeat.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked him, looking up into his beautiful eyes. A soft grin appeared. “That I need face Jody.” a soft chuckle leaves her lips. Her finger traced his chest.

“You know, you can stay with me tonight if you want.” His eyes grew wide while he looked down at her. “Worry about Jody in the morning.” she added.

Dean’s lips curl into a mischievous smile. “Are you sure? Because you’re kinda breaking your law here.” Y/N didn’t immediately understood him. “Sleep with your patient, very unprofessional doc.” he said while pulling her closer to him.

“Well, mister Winchester, I think you’re making excellent progress.” She kissed his lips slowly yet deep. “Meeting new people.” Another kiss. “Building some sort of relations.” a kiss on his neck “Allowing yourself to be... close to someone.”

Her teeth scraped against his neck. “Oh yes, you are making one hell of a progress. I’m proud of you.” Dean’s tongue wets his lips. “I think I still need some more practise on the being close thing. You know.” He said flirty.

Deans hand pulls her up by the back of her neck, moving her position so she is straddling him. Right before he kisses her lips he whispers. “Maybe I should come home with you. So you can... teach me some more.”

“Deal.”

-----

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redwlf843 · 2 days

Text

Looking out for her

Abby Anderson x fem! reader

Summary: you were tired and you missed your girlfriend so safe to say you were not in the mood today. When Mel starts saying some stuff about Abby you can’t help but come to your girlfriend’s defense

Warnings: arguments, cursing, tiny bit of Mel bashing, tiny bit of Owen bashing, mentions of anxiety, I think that’s it.

You were not in the fucking mood today. Your knee is still hurting from your previous patrol, you woke up late so you got barely anything for breakfast, and Isaac has Abby running so ragged you’ve only seen her in passing within the last 72 hours.

You usually didn’t kind lending a hand in the medical tents, sure sometimes it got rough but for the most part it was just dealing with superficial injuries and when the little ones got sick. But today. Oh after today you just might request a permanent change. You’re usually friendly decent with Mel. It’s no secret she has something against Abby, usually it’s just snide comments you can brush off or something mumbled under her breath.

But today you came into the medical tent at just the wrong right time.

“It’s her fault you know. Owen is barely on base, he barely sleeps, he’s just he’s not the same anymore. Ever since Jackson he’s not the same. If she would have just acted like a normal person and not some blood thirsty mon-“

Slam

You slammed the canister of disinfectant on the table making Mel and the other person in the tent jump.

“What the fuck did you just say?” You asked seething.

“Nothing. Let’s just get back to work.” Mel says brushing you off.

“No. You don’t get to say shit like that and brush me off.”

“Oh? I don’t get to? What you’re going to clobber me like your crazy fucking girlfriend does?”

You can see the moment she realizes what she has said but you’re too far gone, you’re pissed and you can’t help yourself your mouth opens before you think.

“We both know this isn’t about Abby, we both know that this is about your insecurity about Owen but Abby is your scapegoat so you don’t have to realize that you’re pussy of a boyfriend who’s too afraid to step up and take responsibility for a choice her made” your eyes flick to her pregnant belly before meeting her eyes again. “Is still in love with his fucking ex. You see it and I see it the way he watches her it’s disgusting, Abby has told him to grow up and move on but no he can’t take a goddamn hint so instead of going off on my girlfriend who has tried to lend an olive branch so many fucking times maybe you need to fucking talk to Owen and get your shit together.”

The tent was silent all that could be heard was your heavy breathing as your rage dissipated, the fogginess of your mind faded and you could see the wetness gathering at the corners of Mel’s eyes and part of you felt bad but the other part of you hoped this would be a wake up call for her to realize that with Owen she’d be doing everything on her own.

You spared her one final glance before rushing out of the tent accidentally knocking into someone’s shoulder.

You head was starting to hurt, you could fell your heart racing, your hands were shaky and clammy. God you hated conflict, ironic for a WLF. You had to get back yours and Abby’s living quarters.

Abby was exhausted, she never slept well without you and all the work Isaac had her doing well she was lucky if she was able to catch a nap in the library for more than 4 hours. She was looking over some maps trying to plan the best patrol routes to prevent being ambushed by scars, when she heard hurried footsteps getting closer to her.

“Pendja!” Manny called out to her

“Pendajo” Abby responded her attention still on the maps pinned to the wall

Manny rushed around the corner and was behind her trying to catch his breath having rushed from the med tent to find her.

“You need to go get your girl.” Told her

Abby froze her mind jumping to the worst conclusions possible

“What? Why? Where is she? Is she okay?” Abby turned around quickly and manny saw the panicked look in her eyes

“She’s okay, it’s nothing like what you’re thinking.” He told her trying to calm her down from whatever she was thinking

“Her in Mel got into it in the Med tent, I guess Mel was talking some shit and your girl ripped her a new one. She rushed out real quick, rushed past me look like she was headed for your place, I’d look there first.” Manny explained

“Shit” Abby sighed under her breath, she scrubs her hand down her face and starts walking to the door

“Thanks Manny”

“Any time pendaja, go get your girl.”

Abby chuckled as she left but there was no humor behind it, she was worried she had to get to you quickly.

“Aye remind me not to piss your girl off she’s scary when she’s mad.” Manny called out to her not expecting an answer

“it was kinda hot” Manny mumbled to himself as he went to his assigned duties.

You were curled up in bed wearing one of Abby’s hoodies, you had your face buried in Abby’s pillow as you laid on your side. You were tired but you were wound up to even try and nap. You’ve never even heard yourself that angry before.

You were playing the events over in your head when you heard the open

“Baby?” You heard Abby call out worriedly

“Addy?” You called back from the bed sitting up

You heard her walking down the small steps to the bed

“There you are” she says more to herself when she sees you, the worried look on her face worsens as she see the way your cheeks and nose are red, the tear tracks on your face and the puffiness under your eyes.

“Oh baby girl” consoles as she rushes over to the bed, getting under the covers and pulling you to her so your head was on her chest. She has both her arms wrapped around you, one hand rubbing your back. She kisses your head.

“What happened today baby girl?” She asks you

You sigh “I was working med tents today and Mel was saying some shit about you and that pissed me off and I just I don’t know I just lost it and went off on her.” You tell her.

“I’m sorry Abby” you sigh

“For what? From what it sounds like you didn’t do anything wrong” Abby was confused if anyone had to apologize it was Mel

“You’ve been trying hard to fix things up with her and I ruined it for you.”

“Well if she was talking shit about me behind my back then I don’t think I’ve been fixing it to well huh?” Abby chuckles humorlessly

“Baby you have nothing to be sorry for, If anything I should apologize to you. You shouldn’t have to fight my battles for m-“

She’s cut off by your lips

“I will always defend you, no matter what.” You tell her

She gives you a small smile and kisses you again

“Let’s just lay here for now, maybe take a nap or something and then we can deal with this later, huh how does that sound?” She asks as she kicks off her shoes and lets them fall to the floor, then her pants, leaving her in her shirt and boxers.

“Hmm that’s the best idea you’ve had in days.” You tell her and you both chuckle as you roll onto your side feeling her arms wrap around you and pull you to her. Her front against your back.

With Abby with you it feels like everything might just turn out okay.

#abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x reader

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amnisx · 3 days

Text

🔗 off the hook. ★ jake sim.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♱ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

☆ pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader

☆ story length: VERY LONG.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♱ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

☆ synopsis: Tired and burnt out from studying and university, i decide to blow off steam when my dormmate says there’s a party at the frat house on campus. Things escalate from having a few too many drinks, to waking up next to the campus’s well known playboy, Jake Sim.

☆ concept: strangers (enemies?) to lovers.

☆ warnings: swearing, dark humor, mention of alcohol, mention of trauma, very gentle smut?, sexual jokes, death threats. (tell me if i missed anything!)

• 💌 ami’s note: i also wrote this in first person! I hope you can still put yourself in the place of the narrator! This is proof read. I worked so hard on this.. :,)

🔗 ❤️

Another exam that was coming up, another friday night of studying. Mid terms were really starting to get to me.. I was being bullied by my own brain from all the things i had to memorize, mumbling frustrated curses at myself every time i got an answer wrong on my exam prep papers. I was a pretty average student, not the best, but never the worst. I always did pretty okay on exams or tests, but stress always got the better of me.

I was probably sitting at the kitchen counter for hours at this point, constantly reading the same sentence over and over from my syllabus, trying to understand what the fuck it was talking about.

“fuck this.. i’m gonna go to bed..” I yawn to myself as i stretch my arms out and arch my back a bit against the kitchen stool.

As i start gathering all my books, syllabuses and prep sheets from the counter, i heard the front door of the dorm open. It was Yunjin, my roommate. She was all happy and excited about something, kicking her shoes off her feet as she ran up to me with a huge grin on her face. I was kinda weirded out by her behavior, but it wasn’t really something new to me.

Yunjin became my roommate in my second year of uni. She was really nice, but barely around to be completely honest. She was a huge social butterfly though, she could make you her friend in a matter of minutes.. and with that talent of hers, i considered her a pretty good friend now.

“y/n y/n y/n! there’s a party tonight at the frat house, you heard about it?” her tone very enthusiastic and kind of loud.

“oh- for real? I didn’t hear. They haven’t thrown anything in a while.” I wasn’t very shocked by the news. I mean, frat guys always throw parties, right?

“we should totally go! It’s around 10, i think? C’mon you haven’t been out in sooo long. You could totally use tonight to have some fun.” She still had a huge smile on her face as she grabs me by the shoulders.

“you think so? you know i’m not a party person though..” I rub the back of my neck, still not very convinced.

“just get dressed, do your makeup and if you don’t like it, just come back home, ok?” her voice sounded all squeaky and excited at the end of her sentence so i just couldn’t disappoint her.

“alright alright.” I just couldn’t say no to her..

“yay! go get ready then.” she says in a happy tone as she lets me go and heads off into her own room.

Did i just make a huge mistake by agreeing to go? Maybe, but it was already too late. Yunjin was the type to be disappointed in you if you went against your word. For her, if you said you’ll do something, you’ll do it. As simple as that. It was around 9:00 pm when my plans of sleeping early were interrupted by my roommate, considering the situation i had put myself in, the idea of getting a good nights sleep went completely out the window.

Me and Yunjin start overflowing the bathroom with makeup and hair irons. We both help each other out, already starting the night off pretty well and taking “grwm” pics for our insta stories. I’m not gonna lie, i started second guessing my decision to go, but my hair was already being curled and i had already finished applying glitter on my eyelids.. We both rush to our rooms as soon as we’re done, scurrying to get dressed.

I had absolutely no idea what i was gonna wear. It was getting pretty chilly out since november had rolled around.. Should i wear a dress? A skirt? Pants? Ugh.. the choices were endless. I didn’t wanna freeze to death but i still wanted to look good. Yunjin was tapping her foot like a frustrated bunny outside of my bedroom door in as it was already 10:33 pm and i wasn’t even dressed yet.

“y/n! You’re taking forever! Just wear that cute black dress you bought a few weeks ago or something..” her tone sort of whiny and impatient.

“UGH WAIT!” i mumble out loudly as i slide myself into a decent outfit.

I come out of the room, wearing a black skirt with sheer black tights underneath and topped it off with a beige off the shoulder sweater. It was good enough, i guess.

“oh shit~” Yunjin teases me a little, a small grin on her face. “you look good. Why don’t you dress up more often?” she says with a slight chuckle and nudges me playfully.

“just shut up and get going..” i kind of giggle with her, gently push her to get moving.

“apparently everyone’s gonna be there. I saw a bunch of people’s ig stories..” she mutters as she closes the front door behind us.

“Yunnie just don’t drink too much, okay? I don’t wanna take care of you if you get drunk..” we both chuckle at my comment, starting to walk down the girl’s dormitory hallway.

We arrived at the frat house only a few minutes later, the loud music and people yelling “CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” already audible from miles away. Yunnie was already so into it, singing and dancing a bit as she opened the door. It was my first ever time being in that frat house, and i was absolutely terrified. As the door creaked open, i couldn’t believe what was in front of my eyes. The sight almost appalling.. People already passed out on the couch, people making out in corners of the room and a bunch of random shit on the floor. Was this seriously supposed to be one of the best parts of college life?

Yunjin didn’t even bother looking at the mess everywhere, she grabbed my arm and threw both of us inside. I was very uncomfortable at this point, not knowing very many people in there was definitely a disadvantage right now.

Even though at the beginning it was awkward and uncomfortable, i eventually got into it. I was hesitant to drink, not knowing my limit very well since i didn’t drink very regularly, but fuck it, right? One drink turned into two, two turned into five and five turned into nine.. I was getting hammered, my mind all fuzzy and vision a little hazed.

Yunjin obviously had better alcohol tolerance than me, she was barely drunk, still in full control of herself while i could barely walk on my own without stumbling a bit. As the night went on, i was having a lot of fun, dancing and becoming part of the crowd who yelled at random people to finish off their drink. I wasn’t acting like my normal self, at all. Yunnie seemed to enjoy this new side of me, recording and laughing at the stupid things i did but still making sure i was okay.

Thats when, i saw him. A blurry imagine of a tall and pretty handsome guy.. All i remember was him staring at me from across the room and the rest fades to black..

🔗 ❤️

I woke up the next day with a raging hangover. My head feeling like it was about to burst open.. I had almost no memory of the night before. I was still half asleep when i realized that i was already; not in my dorm, meaning not in my bed and I was undressed.

What the actual fuck!? quickly sit up to see my clothes all over the floor and my bra hanging off the door handle..

A low and sleepy voice suddenly spoke to me as i was rubbing my eyes aggressively, making sure they weren’t fooling me.

“morning~” His voice was honestly really attractive and his Australian accent just made it even more charming.

“h-huh?” i shake my head, making sure i was hearing right. The accent.. only one person from our whole year had an Aussie accent like that.

“you awake, sweetheart? you should probably head out soon..” He said in his raspy morning voice.

“oh fu-” i whispered to myself, realizing who was talking to me, and who’s bed i was in that very moment.

I quickly turn my head up to try and make sure it was the person i was thinking of. Yup.. the infamous campus fuckboy. Jake, Sim Jaeyun if you wanna get specific..

Fuck. All i can say was that i was absolutely mortified. I mean.. yea, he was hot as hell and looked so sexy shirtless and standing over me like that but that wasn’t my main concern at the moment! Did i really just become part of the girls stupid enough to sleep with him? I was lost in thought until i felt my clothes hit me in the face.

“here. Get dressed, yeah?” he sounded a little pushy.

“yea yea..” I mutter out as i pick up my clothes and rush into them, not bothering to look presentable, just needing to get the hell out of there.

“thanks for that birthday gift~” he smirked at me, almost menacingly.

“birthday?.. you know what, whatever...” I was obviously very disappointed in myself and his smug expression and cocky tone of voice wasn’t making it easier on me. What did he mean by birthday gift?.. Was i the girl to give me his birthday sex!?.. God, i wanted to unalive myself.

Jake already had the door open for me.. hm, charming. I storm out, slamming the door behind me. I was speed walking to the girl’s dormitory, thousands of questions running in my mind as i finally got to my dorm, bursting the door open to see my roommate passed out on the couch. The loud slam of the door jolting her up and making her groan in annoyance at the strong sound. She was obviously surprised to see me standing in front of her, giving me the ‘what the fuck?’ type of stare.

I was still trying to compose myself, gathering my thoughts trying to piece last night together. My head was still throbbing and my hard thinking just made it worse. Yunjin sits up properly and scratches her hair a bit before stretching her arms out and yawning.

It’s probably better that i dont tell her about me hooking up with Jake, better that i don’t tell anyone. I knew Jake wouldn’t. Everyone knew he slept around a lot but he would only show off the girls he was “proud of”, whatever that meant. Total asshole, right?

Yunnie asked me where i had disappeared to last night, having not seen me home when she got there, obviously. I made up a lame excuse that i had passed out in the bathroom and gotten home a few hours later. She was a little of suspicious but didn’t push it.

We both take some ibuprofen to calm our headaches and cooked some spicy ramen to fill our growling tummies. The warm broth soothed my body and head for a while, giving me actual time to try and figure out what had happened. I didn’t wanna talk to Jake, but if i wanted to know, i’d have to.

And i was definitely not going to another party anytime soon.

🔗 ❤️

The weekend ended and more exams came up. I was actually way too busy focusing on studies to be thinking of my drunken mistake, pushing that horrid memory in the back of my mind..

I had passed Jake a few times in the halls or during free periods but he never looked in my direction, as if i didn’t exist. Was he that much of a jerk? Why did i even care? I didn’t.. at least i thought so. I was determined to demand him what had happened that night since my memory still hadn’t come back to me, but again, studies, life, and basically everything got in my way of doing that.

I was honestly so worn out i just gave up. Maybe i would never know and maybe it was for the better.

Until, i gained attention. People started looking at me, whispering things to each other and girls were even acting mean towards me. What the hell did i do? I wasn’t known in this school so was my name being spread like wild fire?

Yunjin wasn’t the cause of this, she was a popular girl but she’d never ever say anything bad about me, plus, she didn’t tell me about any nasty rumors that could have tainted my reputation so she couldn’t have known.

I was walking down the hall, feeling a bunch of eyes on me. I was getting overwhelmed, speed walking to the nearest empty lecture room and shutting the door behind me. I fell to the floor, my back against the hard wood as i try to catch my breath. There was definitely some kind of bad rumor around my name but no one was gonna tell me about it, so i had to figure it out myself.

I come out the room and try to look for someone who’d know anything about it, but most of the faces i looked at were people i didn’t even know. This was so frustrating.. I was being bad mouthed and i had no idea why. Sigh. This isn’t high school anymore, so why was everyone acting so immature and petty about it instead of telling me upfront? I just stopped trying and headed back to my dorm. My roommate was no where to be seen, even if we were pretty close, she wasn’t around much. She had other friends, i knew that.

It was around 11, almost midnight when i was preparing to get to bed. I had already done my skincare and brushed my teeth, laying in my warm and soft bed, scrolling on my phone and just checking any of my social media. I hadn’t been on Instagram for a while so i decided to check if anything interesting was on there, and there definitely was.

I saw a post of a girl with a familiar style to mine, she was wearing a black skirt.. sheer black tights.. and a beige off the shoulder sweater? Holy shit is this me? It was the night of that frat party.. Who would’ve posted me without my permission? The account was completely anonymous so that didn’t help. I continue to watch the video, heart pounding in my chest. Suddenly, it got a hundred times worse, maybe even a thousand. Jake entered the frame, he had pinned me against a wall and we were making out.. what kind of a sick person would record this?

My brain didn’t wanna accept what i was watching, i was in complete denial. As the video continued playing, things between me and Jake were getting.. steamy. The video abruptly stopping when Jaeyun spotted the camera and the person who was recording ran away. I guess i knew what everyone was talking about now..

Who did they think they were? Everyone was probably thinking i let myself and Jake be recorded, weren’t they!? I obviously couldn’t fall asleep anymore, my mind wandering back to the video. I had reported it to Instagram, saying it was violating my privacy or whatever you say when you report something but i doubt it helped..

🔗 ❤️

Days had gone by, i was still getting nasty stares, hearing muffled giggles and whispers behind my back, and honestly just feeling people’s gaze on me wherever i went. I was so fed up with how everyone was treating me.. It’s not as if i chose for that video to leak??

I was walking to the library to return some books i had borrowed for an essay i had due the next day. I was mostly looking at the ground instead of straight ahead, making me accidentally bump into someone. I tumble a bit but don’t lose my balance, I looked up to try and see who it is i needed to excuse myself to, but i bit my tongue as soon as i saw who was in front of me. Since when does HE visit the library?

“hey. Watch where you’re go-“ he quickly stopped his sentence as he looked at me, his facial expression shocked and getting serious.

“sorry.. i wasn’t-” I was cut off by Jake.

“we need to talk.” he whispered quietly, grabbing my wrist.

“huh?? what’d you?-“ i didn’t even hear what he said but he suddenly pulled me into a corner of the library, hiding us behind some shelves.

“look, i don’t know if you saw that video on insta but-“ i cut him off as well.

“would you let me talk? Already, hello.” i roll my eyes. “And yea, i saw that post.” he rolls his eyes back at me.

“I don’t have time for your damn attitude, just listen, will you?” his frustrated attitude was getting me annoyed as well at this point.

“whatever..” i mumble under my breath.

“well what i wanted to say before YOUR rude ass cut me off was that i wanna find who the fuck posted that.” I was kind of shocked to say the least.. Jake actually wanted the same thing that i did.

“well i do too.. but?..” I was kind of confused by his concern at the post. He wasn’t the type to care much of what people thought of him, atleast that’s what i thought until now.

“but what?” his tone was kind of on edge.

“it’s not like people don’t know you fuck around..” i kind of mumble out, crossing my arms.

“hey. I just don’t like people posting shit like that about me.” he says in a stern and serious way. Damn.. he seemed pretty pissed.

“yea.. i get your point.” I nod a little.

“look.. i just.. i want your help. We have to find who the hell did that. It’s not something i just wanna ignore. We have to find the fucker who posted that.”

“okay fine..” I huff a bit, uncrossing my arms and looking down at the floor, finally speaking up again after a few seconds. “I don’t really remember what happened that night though..” I mumble again.

“you don’t remember? seriously?.. you were THAT drunk?” he raises his eyebrows, surprised by my words.

“yea i can’t really tell where my limits stand with alcohol but that’s not the point.” I huff again, looking up again but not really in his direction. “we had sex.. that’s it.. right?”

“well.. i brought you back to my dorm, and we were ABOUT to have sex and then you passed out. Don’t worry, i’m not that much of an ass..” he kind of mumbles, running a hand through his hair.

My eyes sparkle in excitement and relief, my arms crossed over my chest, looking back up at him. I didn’t care about his sarcasm at this point, the fact i didn’t sleep with Jake was my main concern. “thank GOD.” I pause again, kind of thinking of the morning i woke up in his bed, my expression changing from one of relief to one of confusion. “what’d you mean by “thanks for the birthday gift.” or whatever?..”

“well.. that party was kind of a birthday gift for me from the guys. You just made my night a little better~” he chuckled softly with a slight smug look on his face now.

I let out a sigh of relief, rolling my eyes again at his playful grin and obvious teasing. Knowing we hadn’t slept together made me feel better, but it still kinda haunted me that he.. touched me. I try to shrug it off and me and Jake continue talking, making out a plan to find out who would record that damn video of us and then post it. I’m not gonna lie, i felt like Sherlock Holmes during that whole conversation.. but the thing that surprised me the most was that.. me and Jake actually.. got along. He actually wasn’t a huge asshole, he made me laugh and smile when i didn’t want to. Maybe i was wrong about him? Nah.. he was still a player. But atleast i knew why girls let him in their pants now. He was charming and funny, i’ll admit that much.

The plan was to question all the people who liked that video. (which was literally more than 30..) Jake and Yunjin will use their reputations as an advantage to our investigation by kind of bringing it up in conversation, and my unsocial ass is gonna do some stalking and investigating on social media. Once we find who the culprit is, we KICK THEIR ASS. Easy enough, right?

🔗 ❤️

Ok, our plan was taking way longer than we normally thought. Jake AND Yunjin asked all their friends if they knew anything from that night. All of those useless fucks said ‘no.’

My stalking skills on social media were good, but i was stumped. I couldn’t find shit. Was this person a ghost or something?? Our main theory was that the person was most likely a girl, but it could honestly be anyone.

Me and Jake hung out pretty often because of this whole ‘situation.’ But because of it, people started talking even more. Rumors of dating, friends with benefits, fuck buddies, booty call, sneaky link, the list could go on.. it’s not like Jake didn’t have any of those things with other girls, cause he did. But he suddenly started dropping most of them. I didn’t know if it was cause his interest in his life style was disappearing or if cause of me?..

But i did get some incredibly delightful texts :

jake’s probably using u ngl 💀

slut

attention whore

ur not even pretty.. 😐👎

u n sim don’t go well tgt 🥱

It could go on, but i didn’t bother to even read them anymore. I even showed Jake most of them, and he genuinely laughed. He thought it was so stupid and immature that those girls would text ME those things. We weren’t anything but friends now, but everyone was being so damn nosy about it. He just told me to ignore them and that’s exactly what i did. It wasn’t worth my time, and we were still focused on trying to figure this whole video leak mystery thing out.

More weeks passed, the winter weather getting colder. Me and Jake got.. close. And i started hanging out with his friends more and more often.

They weren’t all like him; they weren’t complete asses who’d have one night stands and never call them again. Atleast not all of them..

Sunghoon, too narcissistic for his own good. He’s always bragging about how good he looks or asks us to feed that big ass ego of his. Kinda annoying but it’s fun to see his face whenever we joke that he looks ugly. He never looks ugly.

Jay, only responsible one. The dad of the group. He’s the one who keeps everyone in line, he’ll scold, yell, maybe even the occasional ‘playful’ hit to discipline the three others. The only one you can call “husband material.”

Heeseung, Jake’s wingman. He’s probably even worse. I have NEVER seen such a pussy hungry guy. He was hitting on me the moment i met him, but Jake quickly shut that down, knowing it wouldn’t end well.

One night we were all hanging out at Jake’s dorm, drinking a little and playing some harmless truth or dare.. key word; harmless.

“y/n, truth or dare?” Sunghoon asks me, beer can in hand as he leans back on the small sofa.

“hm.. truth.” i respond back casually, crossing my arms.

“ahh.. cmon, you’re so lame.” Heeseung says with a small chuckle and smirk on his face. I roll my eyes and gesture for Sunghoon to give me my truth.

“i got one.” he says with a small grin, setting his beer down on the coffee table. “fuck, marry, kill and.. let’s say “kiss” for this sake since there’s four of us.”

“Park Sunghoon..” i roll my eyes again, uncrossing my arms, rubbing my head a little as i think for a minute or two. “uh.. i’d marry Jay..” i mumble softly, Jay giggling and nodding his head lightly. “i’d fuck.. Jake?.. i almost did that anyway.” i say in a sarcastic but joking way, making Jake crack a smile. “i’d kiss Heeseung and i’d kill you.” Hee starts laughing his ass off as he sees Sunghoon’s facial expression when i tell him my answer.

“you’d kill me?? y/n, cmon.. that’s so unfair. I’m way better than these guys.” Sunghoon says jokingly with a smug look as winks at me.

“yea well i never wanna find out.” i roll my eyes at Sunghoon’s wink and brush him off. “it’s my turn now, right? Hm.. Jake.” i give Jake a playful look and take a sip of my beer. “truth or dare?”

“hm.. dare. I’m not a pussy like you guys.” Jaeyun laughs and finishes his can of beer and lays back on the sofa next to Sunghoon.

“i dare you to not sleep with another girl for the next week.” I snicker.

“y/n, seriously!?.. cmon, you can’t do that to me. I’m a man, i have needs.” he gives me these horribly done puppy eyes.

“stop being so dramatic, it’s seven days.” i scoff, taking another gulp of my beer. “no because Jake has a point, that’s actual torture.” Heeseung adds in.

“you two just too horny for your own good.” Jay mumbles under his breath as he goes to the kitchen to get us more cans.

“whatever.. so it’s my turn, hm?.. okay, y/n. I don’t give one shit if you just went, truth or dare?” Jake smirks at me.

“ugh seriously?.. fine, i’ll choose dare too.” all the boys “ooo” and “aaah” and Sim gets this mischievous look on his face.

“i dare you to give me a lap dance, for a WHOLE minute.” Jake says bluntly, biting his lower lip a bit and looks at me up and down.

“nu-uh! I REFUSE to do that.” i quickly shake my head, glaring at him.

“cmon y/n, a dare’s a dare. You gotta do it.” Sunghoon adds.

“ugh.. i hate you.” i groan in frustration.

“sure you do baby, now dance for me.” Jake says in this flirty yet sarcastic tone, letting out a small chuckle. And before i knew it, he already put on the song ‘girls need love’ and man spread infront of me. I raise a brow and sigh, reluctantly walking up to him and starting to dance on him. Moving my hips in a seductive way and hovering my ass above his lap. The guys start hyping me up as they see me dance in such a suggestive way, clapping and cheering.

“shit.. y/n, you done this before?” Jake says with a kind of heavy breath, watching my curves and biting his bottom lip again.

“dude, you’re eye fucking her so hard.” Jay chuckles as he sees his friend trying so hard to not touch me and sets the cold cans on the coffee table.

“has it been a minute yet?..” i ask in a huffy tone as i keep dancing, an annoyed look on my face.

“nah baby it hasn’t..” he whispers as he hovers his fingers above my hips.

“you touch me and you’re dead, i swear to god.” i glare at Jake, looking at the tv and seeing that the song had already played for 58 seconds. I stop and flick his forehead, scoffing and sitting back down on the couch. Jake jokingly groans at the flick, rubbing his forehead but then smirks once more as he looks at me and my pouty yet frustrated look on my face.

“that was hot.”

🔗 ❤️

More months later, our school wanted to take all the seniors for a sort of trip, since graduation was nearing in a few months. The season was getting warmer, meaning it’s already been a few months since the whole ‘getting recorded’ incident. Everyone mostly forgot about it at this point but me and Jake were still really curious to who it was. Regardless of all that, i was really starting to get used to Jake and his friends as my own friends. But still not trying to be too clingy, feeling kind of insecure since i had joined the group not long ago. Either way, they were funny people and and we always had good talks, even if some were questionable..

This trip was in May and it was end of April, meaning it was getting close. It was to Jeju island. I had only been once when i was a little girl so i was excited to visit again, especially with my new made friends and Yunjin. Her friend circle wasn’t really my thing but i was always nice to them and they were almost always nice to me. Yunnie threatened the boys that if they tried anything on one of her friends or me again, she’d tear off their balls. Scary, isn’t it?

I was packing and packing, even if the trip was only for a week, you can never be too prepared. The weather in May was supposed to be nice so i took mostly some light clothes, accompanied by some hoodies and sweatpants just incase it gets cold. Pretty much everyone was packing, making sure to bring every essential thing you’d need.

It was around midnight and i had gotten out the shower a few hours ago, on the couch and watching the tv as i texted Jay. He was kind of like a big brother to me now, always giving me advice and looking out for me.

y/n you hear abt the roommate rules the chaperones announced?

what they announced a roommate rule?? we’re in uni, i thought we could room w whoever we wanted?

apparently not 🤷🏻 they said only same gender shit or wtv n like max 5 ppl

ig i’ll room w yunjin n her friends

btw can i ask you smth?

uhh yea sure, what is it?

u n jake are JUST friends, right?

I was confused on why Jay would ask me that, of course me and Jake were just friends, was he saying otherwise?..

yea we’re js friends, why?

idk sometimes he talks abt u in this non-friend way ig

wdym?

he says stuff like “u looked cute today in bio-chem” and he even noticed the little details abt u y/n, apparently you smell like jasmine or smth??

oh wtf, he actually knows the perfume i use?

it’s literally the first time i’ve seen him getting kind of obsessed w a girl 💀

stop ur probably overthinking it, maybe he’s js attentive

that’s the thing y/n, he’s not an attentive person 😐 he literally forgot my bday last year

ok what he actually forgot ur bday? 😭

nvm that, but cmon- u cant tell me this can’t mean smth

jay idk what to tell u cs me and jake are js friends from what ik

yea well thats not from what I KNOW

then ask him abt it tf?

yk what hes like y/n 🫤

yea ik, sorry

dw its fine, let’s just forget this

me and the guys are gonna get some coffee at that small cafe before classes tmrw morning, u wna come?

mhm! see u then ^^

I sighed, not knowing what to think about what Jay just told me. It made me feel like he was hiding something from me for some reason. His texts didn’t seem out of the ordinary but the way he asked that question was kind of out of the blue. I didn’t wanna bother him with it, not wanting to risk Jake hearing about it and then things getting complicated again. I was gonna keep my mouth shut.

The next morning we were all the cafe, drinking our coffee and eating some pastries and other breakfast items. Yunjin was a nearby table, talking with her own friends.

Chaewon, pretty, cute, sexy, anything a guy could want in a girl. Sweet but blunt, a good liar yet so honest sometimes. She’s had more boyfriends than i can count. But hey, who am i to judge?

Kazuha, hypocrite but such a good actress. I can never tell if she’s being honest or not. No one really can?.. The biggest cause of rumors at our school. She has a pretty strong personality, she is NOT meant for the weak.

Minji, the one that fits “looks like a marshmallow, could kill you.” Can ruin your reputation in a split second and like Chaewon, she’s pretty popular with the guys. People get on her nerves easily but she ‘tolerates’ some?.. Everyone’s too scared to approach her, and i get why.

We were all chatting and drinking our coffee, enjoying the free time we had before classes. Jay kept looking at me with this weird look and i was getting kind of suspicious again. Jake kind of noticed and slightly raised his brow, looking at me and Jay back and forth. He then suddenly interrupts the conversation Heeseung and Sunghoon were having.

“what’s going on with you two?” he asks in a curious tone.

“what do you mean?” Jay asks, setting his coffee down and trying to act innocent. “huh?..” i act dumb, not even knowing why Jay or Jake was looking at me in such weird ways. An awkward atmosphere surronds the table, everyone going kind of silent.

“you two are looking at eachother all weird.” Jake says in a kind of annoyed voice, even slightly rolling his eyes. Me and the guys get confused on why he was getting such an attitude all of a sudden.

“there’s literally nothing, what’s with you?” Jay starts getting a little defensive, also talking with attitude now.

“guys we’re in public, don’t.” i say in a quiet but firm tone. “we’re not in the mood to handle this shit, especially in the morning..” i rub my forehead, taking a sip of my coffee.

“then don’t.” Jake says coldly, glaring at Jay a little. It felt like he was getting.. jealous.

“yah, Jaeyun. What the fuck is wrong with you right now? I can’t even look at y/n now? You know, you should probably just admit to it already.” Jay says in such a blunt way.

“wait what? admit to what?” I get confused, looking back and forth from Jay and Jake, placing the palms of my hands on the table. The other two boys fall silent and just watch the scene, sipping on their coffee through their straws.

“go on Jake, tell her.” Jay gestures to his friend with his hand, his eyebrows furrowed.

“YOU told her, didn’t you? You assho-” Jake stands from his seat, leaning over the table to get in Jay’s face before Heeseung pulled him away. “Jaeyun, no.” he shakes his head, Jake huffing and sitting back down in his seat.

“okay what the shit is going on??” I was so confused by the situation, thinking this could be about the conversation me and Jay had over text the night before.

“fine..” Jake sighs in frustration, ruffling the back of his hair in a nervy manner and lets out an exhale. “it’s just..” he mumbles in a quiet tone, looking down at his hands. “i don’t know.. i haven’t felt like this in so long. I- uh.. whatever.. i gotta go.” he sighs, getting up from the table and walking out the cafe, i follow soon after him, worrying about him a little. Everyone just exchanges glances at eachother, knowing the conversation between me and Jake was gonna get either super uncomfortable or super emotional.

“Jake.. come on, talk to me.” I say softly, grabbing his arm gently to stop him from walking away. “I know how you don’t open up but..” I speak in a quiet tone, Jake’s footsteps coming to an end and turning to look at me again.

“fine. you wanna know why i’m like this?.. you wanna know why i fuck around with girls? I’m not an asshole who just sleeps with them for fun, it’s cause.. ugh!” he sighs in anger, covering his face with his hands and rubbing his eyes. “I just.. i do it to make myself feel better i guess.. i don’t know, it’s like something to prove.. i know it’s so stupid..” He leans against a wall, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Jake.. did someone.. hurt you?.. like before?..” I talk in a soft and gentle tone, wanting to seem understanding and accepting of his feelings.

“no!.. yea?.. ugh.. i just.. i hate talking about it..” he mumbles, looking at the ground and putting his hands in his pockets.

“hey.. if you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s fine..” I say softly again, gently rubbing his arm to let him know it was okay.

“look.. it’s.. it was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter. It’s just.. i guess.. i started to use sex as some sort of comfort.. or whatever.. it’s hard to explain.” He explained vaguely, sighing and his breathing getting a little uneven. It was the first time i had seen him be so.. vulnerable. I was surprised but relieved. If someone had told me 5 months ago that the campus’s fuckboy would be opening up to me like this, i’d laugh in their face.

I just hug him softly, hoping to bring him some sort of comfort. The others of course, didn’t see or hear any of this from the cafe since we Jake and i had kind of hidden against a wall and i was glad. He hugged me back, his arms wrapping around my waist and he buried his face in my neck. Jake breathed in slowly, taking in the scent of my perfume. “fuck. You smell good..” He groaned slightly at the smell as he whispered into my ear.

I giggle softly, letting him smell me and running my fingers through his hair. He was being so sensitive and.. real. I was glad to see the actual him and not the him everyone thinks they know, the him i thought i knew. He was so much more different, and i was glad he let his guard down. I was just nervous about when he’d probably put it back up again.

🔗 ❤️

May; Jeju trip! Everyone was putting their luggage and suitcases onto the train, sitting in their seats and getting comfortable for the next few hours.

I was sitting next to Yunjin, Jake next to Heeseung, Sunghoon next to Jay. Chaewon, Kazuha and Minji sitting in the seats for 4 and placing their handbags in the fourth seat. All our seats were pretty close to one another, having a good time and just spending time together. I fell asleep pretty quickly, mostly everyone on the train did, we were all tired since it was early in the morning. I leaned my head on Yunnie’s shoulder, earphones plugged in to drown out any noise from the outside world.

After an hour or so on that damn train we all get to the docks to get on the ferry to the island. We also put all our luggage on that huge boat and get seated again. Another 2-3 hours on the water and then we’ll finally get to our destination. I was now between Yunjin and Jake, trying to fall asleep again to distract myself from the seasickness i was feeling..

I kind of leaned back in my seat, letting my head fall back and closing my eyes. Jake saw what i was doing and decided to comment on it. “you didn’t sleep all night or something?” he says jokingly, folding his arms infront of his chest and laughing slightly.

“i did.. i’m just feeling kinda sick..” I mumble back to him, sighing and trying to drift off again.

“put your head on my shoulder then, you’ll break your neck sleeping like that.” he sighs again, gesturing for me to come closer to him. I shrug and rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and finally starting to feel tired enough to fall asleep. I could still hear the small snarky comments of some girls around, spitting quiet insults at me seeing how close i was to Jake. I ignored it but it was kind of sweet how he shushed them and insulted them back in a small whisper to not wake me up.

The others were sitting across from us, watching the scene. Honestly, to alot people we’d probably look like a couple right now..

“yo, she sleeping?” Heeseung whispers as he leans forward, slightly tapping my shoulder, making me shift a little and groan lightly in my sleep.

“are you blind or something?.. duh, she’s sleeping.” Jake slaps Hee’s hand away from my shoulder.

“cute..” Heeseung whispers again, kind of messing with me in my sleep. Slightly tapping or poking me, getting small reactions out of me to make himself laugh.

“dude stop, you’ll wake her up..” Jake whisper scolds him, but also kind of giggling as he saw the small movements i did whenever i got poked.

“yah! why are you two bothering y/n?.. let her sleep.” Yunjin scolds the both of them in a whisper as well, moving my head from Jake’s shoulder to hers.

The two boys roll their eyes and start talking about something random. Soon enough, we get to the island. Everyone waking up and or getting their luggage and getting off the ferry.

After at least 5 hours of travel, we finally get to the damn hotel. It was a nice place, not far from the beach and the rooms were so comfy. Me, Yunjin, Minji, Kazuha and Chaewon get into our room, which was actually big enough for all 5 of us. There were two beds big enough to fit 2 people and then a small sofa that was big enough for one person, so i decided to sleep on that sofa.

The guys got to their own room and our chaperones let us settle in for the rest of the day. Most of us explored the hotel, or went to the beach. I decided to shower and then head to the hotel’s lounge, surprised to see Jake there. He was listening to some music and scrolling through his phone. I walked up to him and sat next to him, surprising him a little.

Jake takes out his airpods and smile as he sees me take a seat beside him. “hey.. your room okay?”

“mhm.. i’m sleeping on that small sofa, you?” i give him a small head tilt.

“i’m sleeping with Jay.. he sleeps like a rock so i’ll be fine.” he chuckles softly, putting his phone in his pocket. He scoots a little closer to me, one of his hands on my thigh now and gently stroking it with his thumb. “i’d rather sleep with you though..” he says jokingly, still stroking my thigh.

“mhm, sure you would..” I say sarcastically with a small eye roll. “you plan on bringing any girls into your hotel room this week?” I give him a small smile, letting him touch my thigh. It wasn’t a big deal to me, i was used to him being touchy now, but it felt kind of different this time..

“nah.. just wanna hang out with you guys, y’know?.. maybe you though?” Jake smirks a bit as he jokes again, or was it a joke?

“cmon, what’s with you?..” i ask with a gentle giggle, feeling him slightly squeeze my thigh.

“nothing’s with me.. just.. you look really cute to me right now..” he looks down at his hand, moving it up my thigh a little more, his fingers going as far as to slightly slide under the fabric of my pajama shorts. “you wanna head to my room?.. The guys and i wanted to have a few drinks if you wanna join?”

“drinks?.. sure, i’m down for that.” i nod and we get up from the couch, going upstairs to his hotel room.

As soon as Jaeyun opened the door to his room, oh dear god, my eyes widened.

All those boys were shirtless and with damp hair, all wearing baggy sweatpants or shorts. I could see the logo of their boxers sticking out.. either Calvin Klein or Supreme. What was this friend group!? They were all so hot, like.. SO HOT. I tried to act nonchalant and casual, but my red face was giving me away.

“aish, can’t you guys wear some shirts?..” Jake mutters, placing a hand over my eyes as he guides me inside the room and closes the door behind us.

“Jake it’s fine..” i mumble, taking his hand off my eyes and taking a long look at the boys again. Heeseung was probably the one who caught my attention the most. His abs, biceps, v-line… dear lord help me.

“like what you see, y/n?” Heeseung chuckles, putting on a shirt and covering that panty dropper of a body again, thankfully.

The other boys put on some shirts too, taking out some beers from their mini cooler and handing me one. We all sit in a small circle on the floor, talking and getting a little drunk after a few hours. We were all a little tipsy but Heeseung and Sunghoon were the drunkest. They were both blabbering nonsense and or saying the most random shit. It was kinda late, around 1 or 2 am.

We had all moved to sitting on the beds. I was yet again, sitting next to Jake and his right hand was literally between my thighs, caressing them in a gentle manner. We were mostly laughing and making fun of the two drunks, but also getting kind of tired. Yunjin had texted me to come back to our room soon since it was getting late so i was gonna leave soon anyway.

Heeseung was starting to look at me in a kind of.. mad way?.. He started getting kind of moody out of nowhere.. and then spoke up. Sunghoon had passed out on the bed and was even drooling onto the sheets.

“you two are so.. ugh.” he mumbles and scoffs, looking away and rolling his eyes.

“hyung you should stop drinking..” Jake says in a caring tone, taking away his friend’s drink away.

“yah!.. give me my beer back.” Heeseung says in a kind of mad tone. Shit was about to go down. Jay and i give eachother an “oh shit” type of look.

“hyung, seriously.. you shouldn’t drink anymore.” Jake says in a more serious tone,

“don’t tell me what to fucking do!.. i wanna drink so let me d-drink.” Hee replies in a firm tone, getting up from his bed and approaching us.

Jay motions for me to come to him so i get off the bed i was currently sitting on, going beside Jay now and watching the drama that was gonna down before us. The two start arguing, Heeseung starting to get a little physical as he tries to grab another drink from the cooler, Jake pushing him away and scolding him for acting like an asshole right now for no reason. “what the fuck is with you?”

“with me?.. Stop fucking touching y/n so much.. You’re always all over her, it’s fucking annoying.” Heeseung says in an angry tone. “you can’t even keep your hands off her for a one second..” he mutters, rubbing his forehead and groaning.

“huh?.. So what? The fuck you getting mad at it for?.. The only person it’s starting to bother is you.” Jake replies in a defensive and irritated tone.

“fucking hell man!.. It’s just ugh! I hate seeing that shit.. That’s why i posted that shit about you!” Hee blurted out in a fit of anger, barely realizing what’d he said before it was too late.

Me and Jay were both confused on what was going on, Hee looking at me with this small frown and letting out a small sound of frustration.

“fuck, i just.. i didn’t do it on purpose!.. i’m sorry i was just mad.. and drunk.. like right now!”

“Heeseung what are you talking about?..” Jay asks in a gentle tone, hoping to calm his friends down.

“what? what didn’t you do on purpose??” Jake asks with furrowed eyebrows, already getting a bad feeling at his hyung’s answer.

“i did it!.. i posted that damn video! of you and y/n.. it was me, okay? It’s been eating at me for m-months..” Heeseung admits, running a hand through his hair and looks at the ground. He sighs before he continues. “I knew y/n before you knew she even existed.. She’s just so cute and ugh!.. But i overheard her talking with Yunjin in the library that she’d never go out with a guy like you or me.. and i just got so pissed when i saw you two making out at that damn party!.. I wasn’t gonna post it but then the next morning i saw you two in bed together and you didn’t even know her name and i just.. i was hung over and i snapped.” He was talking so fast and he was so drunk his words were kind of hard to make out. I was in shock, Jay’s jaw was on the floor, Sunghoon was still out cold on the bed and Jake was giving Heeseung a death stare.

“what?..YOU WHAT?” Jake grabbed Heeseung by the collar, getting in his face and a vein starting to pop out of his neck.

“Jaeyun. No, don’t..” Jay says firmly, ripping Jake off of Heeseung as i just watch this whole thing play out. Jay turns towards me and gets a softer tone of voice. “y/n.. you should go..”

I just stand, my brain still trying to process was Hee had just admitted to, shaking my head back into reality and walking out of their hotel room. I was scared on how all this would go, but i knew i couldn’t get in the way of it right now. I was just hoping no one would get hurt.

🔗 ❤️

The next morning basically everyone was in the cafeteria eating from the breakfast buffet. I was looking for Jake.. or any one of those dumbasses to explain what happened. I didn’t wanna bother them with texts or calls.. i also didn’t wanna seem nosy or anything if i came to their door so all i could do was wait until someone reached out to me of if i ran into them around the hotel.

I was picking after my food, not feeling like eating. My mind was way too preoccupied with what Heeseung had said last night. He liked me?.. He was the one who posted that video of me and Jake?.. I mean, he had hit on me the first few times we met after i started becoming friends with Jake, but he did that with so many girls i never thought anything about it. Now some things started to make sense, but also didn’t at the same time.

What Jay said before about Jake being attentive to the small details about me, Jake telling me why he was such a fuckboy.. even if it was in such a vague way. It all made me want to know more, i wanted to understand what was going on. Everything was so confusing and there were loose threads all over the place. How did my life get so complicated this year?

I hadn’t told Yunjin about any of this, even though i wanted to. I just felt like it wasn’t my place to say such personal things to someone who wasn’t close to them. The girls could tell i was feeling down, and they all questioned it a little but i brushed them off. They mostly let it go, but i could tell they knew something was off.

After a few minutes of just staring into space at my plate of food, i felt a small tap on my arm, Chaewon whispering quietly. “y/n.. Jake’s here and uh..” she trails off, letting me see for myself.

I look at her with a relieved expression, sighing contently and then my eyes searching the room for Jake. My heart sank when i did though.

He was walking into the cafeteria, wearing the same clothes he had on the night prior, messy hair and hickeys!? They were all over his neck. I felt a surge of anger grow inside me. What the fuck?.. I actually felt more disappointed than mad, actually more confused than anything. Jake’s eyes meet mine across the room and he just looks away from me, sitting at a random empty table. He looked ashamed and sad. It was clear he didn’t wanna talk to me right now. Shortly after, this girl walks in the cafeteria, wearing one of Jake’s shirts and sits beside him, smiling and giving him a small kiss.

I felt my heartbeat speed up, cold sweat starting to break out my forehead and my throat went dry. I felt like my stomach was gonna fall out my ass and honestly i wanted to rip that bitch’s hair out. Was i jealous?.. He was being so like.. UGH with me yesterday and even before! And now he suddenly hooks up with a random girl!? Was i just delusional to think he was starting to like me then?..

I was in such deep thought, i didn’t even realize someone was walking towards me. Chaewon gently shakes me again and motions her head towards a certain direction. I snap out of it and look up to where Chaewon gestured to, seeing Heeseung infront of me. I get a small blush on my face and Hee rapidly pulls me out of my chair, dragging me out of the cafeteria and into a corner of the hallway. He sighs and groans slightly as he rubs his eyes a little to wake himself up. He clearly had just gotten up..

“y/n.. i know you’re probably confused.. and even mad.. but i wanna explain..” Heeseung says to me in a soft and tired tone, looking deep into my eyes. “i know i fucked up by posting that video.. i told Jake this as well, but he didn’t even wanna listen to me. I know it isn’t an excuse but when i actually did post it, i didn’t think he’d even care… cause why would he, right?.. But then you two started hanging out and questioning everyone about it.. god i wanted to just suck it up and say it was me but.. fuck, i liked you.. i didn’t want you to hate me.”

“Hee.. you seriously liked me?.. Like actually?..” i ask in a gentle tone, not wanting to seem upset with him, even though i was.

“yeah.. i did. But fucking hell, the moment you left our hotel room he started debating whether he should go after you or not.. and that’s when i realized he probably has something for you that i never did..” Heeseung sighs, trying to remember what happened next since he still had that raging hangover. “y/n.. i know me and Jake.. we both seem like assholes who just fuck around for shits and giggles.. maybe that’s all i wanted with you, i have no fucking clue.. but i know damn well that’s not what Jake wants with you.. he hasn’t felt anything real in a long time.”

“then what the-? Who the fuck is she!?.. God you boys are so damn confusing!” i kind of snap, feeling all my frustrations start to come out.

“I KNOW! Damn girl let me finish..” Hee sighs, trying to calm me down before continuing. “Jake went to your hotel room after he cooled down a bit but when he knocked, Kazuha answered and said you were already sleeping.. both of them didn’t wanna wake you so that dumbass went to the hotel’s bar to have a drink and.. well i guess you can figure out the rest..”

I frowned. I was disappointed in Jake, even mad. He had slept with another girl when he liked me?.. What kind of a guy does that?.. I was just kind of quiet. Maybe i shouldn’t put my hopes into it.. maybe i should just move on. Me and Jake weren’t even an actual thing so why was i getting my panties in a twist over this? But i guess deep down i knew i was feeling something for him too.

That day, our chaperones let us explore the island a little, kind of giving us a day to have fun and relax in the nice weather. Me and the girls were sunbathing near the beach, wearing our swimsuits and sunglasses.

My bikini was black, it highlighted my breasts perfectly and the bottom even had a small skirt over the underwear part. It was a very cute yet sexy type of swimsuit and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t wear it to catch someone’s attention. I was trying to get my mind off of Jake, even Heeseung, just anything.. i wanted some peace cause at this point, my emotions were just overwhelming me.

I posted a selfie of us underneath the sunlight and kind of purposely showing off my body to make sure a CERTAIN guy would get jealous, though i doubt it would.

🔗 ❤️

My eyes were closed, relaxing and soaking in all that vitamin D i had been lacking for a while. Suddenly, my body cooled and i couldn’t feel the warmth of the sun anymore. I thought it was maybe a cloud but when i opened my eyes, there was Jake infront of me. Looking down at me, his expression kind of blank and it looked like he wanted to say something.

“we need to talk.” Jake says in a hushed tone, grabbing me from my pool bed and pulling me away from the beach, throwing us inside some small cabin near the sand. The girls were confused on why he just snatched me away, so they all got up and put their ears to the wooden door.

“what the hell?.. let go of me.” I scoff, pulling his hand off me and crossing my arms, looking at him up and down. “what do you even wanna talk about?.. You never tell me anything anyways!.. You were actually being genuine with me for weeks and i don’t know if i’m fucking delusional or something, but i thought you actually liked me somehow! Then you go and fuck some other girl just because i was asleep?.. I don’t know who the fuck hurt you but i don’t understand you at all.” I kind of raise my voice, letting out all my thoughts and frustrations on him, finally saying what i’d been thinking for the past few hours.

“y/n.. please, listen.” Jake says in a softer voice, running a hand through his dark brown hair and looking at me in the eyes, a regretful expression on his face. “I know i messed up.. and i’m so sorry. I was frustrated and drunk, and i know it isn’t an excuse but please just listen for me for a minute.” he gently holds my hands in his and pulls me closer to him. “I don’t why i did that.. but i swear, i swear on my mom’s damn life if that’s what you want, that she meant NOTHING. She was just there.. and i’m so sorry. I know nothing i can say can change what i did..”

“i don’t even know why i’m so mad.. we aren’t anything.. you know what, forget what i said, i don’t even wanna talk about it. I feel stupid even opening my mouth.” I sigh, looking at the ground and pulling my hands away from his.

“no, i’m not forgetting this y/n. I want us to be something.. i want you. I know i fucked up.. let me show you that i’m being real about you..” he says desperately, almost whispering that last part as he pulls me in again by the waist this time, his warm breath hitting my face.

“Jake?.. what are you doing..” I mumble in a quieter tone, his hands gently sliding up and down my sides. I could feel my heartbeat picking up and my face getting hot.

“y/n.. let me make you feel good.. i’ve been dying to for so long..” Jake whispers into my ear sensually, his hands slowly making their way down to my thighs and he suddenly picks me up, pushing me against the wall of that shed and holding my thighs up. “Wrap your legs around me..”

I was still so mad and confused but damn i was turned on now. I couldn’t help but melt at his touch and words, my legs slightly wobbly already as i wrapped them around his waist.

“baby i know you’re mad but let me make it up to you..” he whispers again, already undoing my bikini strings and slipping his veiny hands under my top, squeezing and massaging my bare breasts.

“Jake.. stop..” I say in a slightly breathy tone, feeling my body heat up and i try to push him off.

“nu-uh.. push me all you want, i know you want this too..” He leans in closer, his lips quickly pressing onto mine as he forces his tongue into my mouth. “y/n.. baby.. please kiss me back. Fuck, i wanna feel you so badly..” he says in such a desperate and soft way, making me give in and kiss him back.

“i’m still mad though..” I whisper between kisses, trying to stop myself but i just couldn’t.

“I know.. and i’m so sorry.. let me make it up to you, hm baby?.. Let me fuck you so good you’ll forget all about being mad at me..” Jake whispers back against my lips, groping and grabbing at every part of my body he could find, slowly grinding the growing tent in his pants against me.

God how was he so good at this!? My mind was going fuzzy as he ran his hands all over me, pulling my bikini off. I watched as he slowly undressed himself as well, pulling off his t-shirt slowly and revealing that gorgeous body of his. Unbuckling his belt and breathing heavily as he slid his pants down to pool at his ankles. The way he moved, talked, touched.. it was all so fucking sexy. Now i REALLY understood why so many girls sleep with him..

The girls who had been listening to all this through the wall started looking at eachother with wide eyes and quickly ran back to their pool beds, pretending as if they didn’t know what he and i were now doing in that shack..

Jake and i were breathing heavily, his torso pressed up against my back. His face buried in the nape of my neck as he tightly held onto my hips. It was LITERALLY the best sex i’d ever had..

“Jake.. can you tell me why you don’t get into serious relationships?..” I knew it was a sudden subject after being intimate with someone, but the question had been picking at my brain for months, ever since he told me about it at that cafe.

“uh- i.. damn.. okay that came out of nowhere?.. This is kind of a hard subject..” He mutters softly, sighing a little. He kisses my neck softly and starts dressing the both of us again, all the while, starting to talk about his past. “Well.. i used to have a girlfriend back when i was a senior in highschool.. so basically almost 5 years ago. Anyways.. she was like my first actual relationship, you know?.. I put so much time and effort for her, loved her with everything i could.. But i guess it wasn’t enough cause as soon as we started to talk about going to college together..” he sighed again, looking more gloomy as he put his belt back on. “I passed by her place to drop off some things she’d left at mine.. and- that’s when i caught her cheating on me.. with some college guy she had met. I still don’t even know his fucking name..” I could tell he was getting pissed telling this story. “She said she saw me more as a safety net than anything else.. and that if i tried to leave her she’d leak all the shit i’d sent her. That’s why i got so pissed when i saw that video of us.. it just brought back bad memories..”

I felt bad for Jake, hell, i could understand where he was coming from. But i also felt for all those girls he used as a way of coping. I kissed his lips once again, letting out a deep breath and looking deep into his eyes.

“i’m sorry that happened to you, but it’s not a reason to take it out on other people. Heeseung thinks you hate him now, and i know you don’t. Please talk to him, okay?..” I whisper in a little voice. Jake nods, sighing and then pulls me in for another hug.

“i’m still really sorry about that other girl though..” he murmurs as he trails light pecks on my neck.

“make it up to me..” I answer, running my fingers through his hair and placing gentle kisses on his head, even laughing a little.

“sex isn’t enough?” he grins playfully, obviously joking. “Hm.. i’ll take care of you, buy presents for you, come over whenever you need me.. and uh- i’ll even buy you those grape gummies you like so much every day if i have to.” he says quickly and excitedly. He was acting like a happy puppy, and it was so damn adorable.

“fine fine.. you’re off the hook.”

🔗 ❤️

Jake did end up talking to Heeseung. I didn’t see them all afternoon but i knew everything would be okay. They had been friends since the beginning of college and they were like brothers to eachother.

Eventually, i heard back from those two and everything was okay. Yunjin was so confused about what had been going on for these past few weeks, especially after what she and the other girls heard in that small pool house near the beach.. so i decided to tell her EVERYTHING, with Jake beside me of course.

Our Jeju trip had come to an end before we knew it though.. I was kinda sad about it but i was so glad about the outcome. The guys were on good terms again, no one had no more secrets to keep to themselves, and Jake was officially mine. He made sure every girl he’d ever hooked up with would know he was taken now. Posting me, making us buy matching clothes, even putting me as his wallpaper. Some girls were obviously not happy about it, but they could go fuck themselves.

The rest of the school year was spent with studying, studying and more studying to graduate. Graduation year was the hardest year ever, and that was completely normal but damn was it tiring.. I was almost at the end of the tunnel though, and we all had eachother for support.

Graduation day was way more fun than i had ever imagined it. I had changed so much in one year and all because of one guy. He really made come out of my shell. It had been almost 2 months since me and Jake started dating at this point, yet we still hadn’t had the courage to say ‘i love you.’

I was packing my things, going to my parent’s for the summer. I wanted to spend time with my folks and my hometown, visit my brother as well. Jake was helping me pack, well if you call trying to distract me packing..

“baby.. take a break, you’ve been doing this for hours.” he groans, hugging me from the back and starting to plant light kisses on my cheek and neck.

“Jake.. i’m almost done, leave me alone.” I say in a playfully firm tone. He knew i didn’t mean it in a mean way, i just wanted to concentrate.

“aw come on.. you can’t make some time for me?..” he starts to lower his tone, his lips moving down to my shoulder and his hands starting to wander to the waistband of my denim shorts.

“babe.. seriously, i’m almost done. Later..” I mumble, trying to push him off a little but he wouldn’t budge. His hold on me got tighter and he started to move tug at my shorts, pulling them down slightly.

“if i told you i love you, will you pay attention to me?” he whispers again, his hands sliding up and under my shirt, groping my boobs and smiling to himself.

“wait what?” i look over my shoulder and at him. Did i hear that right? “you what?”

“i love you.. and i wanna give you some lovin’ right now..” He laughs softly with that stupid expression on his face. I smile back at him, giving him a gentle kiss. I became all soft and red, feeling the butterflies in my stomach bounce around if that was even possible. I had been waiting for this moment, and i finally got it.

“I love you too.. but that was so cheesy..” I whisper against his lips, laughing as well as my hand crawled up into his hair and gently tugging at it.

“I know..” he whispers back, turning me around for me to face him completely and backing me up into a wall. “Fuck packing though.. i was serious about that lovin’..”

“stop saying that..” I laugh again. “But you’re still helping after..”

“yeah yeah..” he mutters with a small nod, heavily kissing me, not even letting me kiss him back. “I love you, i love you, i love you..” he repeated, making the both of us giggle and smile.

I felt pure joy whenever i was with him, talking with him, kissing him. He just lit me up. I never thought i’d be with someone like Sim Jaeyun, but here we are.

I guess something good can come out of a drunken mistake.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you made it all the way down here, thank you so so so so so much! I worked pretty hard on this and i hope it was easy and nice to read, even if it is a little on the longer side. 💗💗

#enhypen ff #enhypen #enhypen jungwon #enhypen jake #enhypen niki #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen jay #enhypen sunoo #enhypen heeseung #enha #enha x reader #enha scenarios

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scorpioriesling · 2 days

Text

Mr. Ro...Mantic?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Tamlin x reader

Warnings: fluff … ish?

Summary: When the High Lord of the Spring Court's best friend and emissary drags him to the Summer Solstice festival, he is anything but excited to go. In an attempt to restore his happiness, Lucien thinks this might be an opportunity for Tamlin to put himself out there again and get out of the Manor for once -- and thank the Cauldron, he did. It literally, could not have gone better.

SR’s Note: This is just kind of, um, cutesy? Idk. Enjoy!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Lucien was sick, sick of watching his best friend mope around day in and day out around the Manor. It’d been months since everything happened; the war, everything with Hybern, Feyre…

“I’m perfectly fine.” He’d always snap whenever Lucien dared press him on it. Prythian had already been rebuilding, Lucien taking on so many roles and belonging to more courts than he could count. He was feeling better about his friendship with Feyre, after their little spat at Winter Solstice; but it still didn’t change that his best friend, his friend that held that title for centuries prior to Feyre’s arrival, was indeed not well. Lucien new he could visit Elain as many times as he’d like; he could bring as many reports as Rhysand asked of him; hell, he could drink as many nights as he could handle with his newfound band of exiles.

But, none of that would help his friend that needed him the most right now.

“Tamlin?” Lucien called, entering the manor through the large front doors and strolling into the foyer. He wasn’t suprised to see dust still collected on the varying surfaces in the space, but was pleased to hear the sound of food steps approaching from the hallway to the left.

“Hello,” Tamlin greeted, emerging from the dim hallway. Lucien forced a smile, despite his disappointment. He was happy to see his friend, of course — but not the state he’d sunk so far into. His hair had grown so long, and he hadn’t bothered to shave in weeks. His crumpled shirt didn’t do him any favors either.

Lucien cleared his throat. “I um, I just wanted to stop in and extend you an invitation.” Tamlin’s face didn’t falter, the same blank expression remaining.

“I was planning on attending the Summer Court’s festival tomorrow, and I was hoping maybe you’d come?” Lucien continued. A small smirk formed on Tamlin’s lips, one Lucien had seen all too many times to know it didn’t contain any humor.

He loosed a breath after a few long beats of silence and awkward eye contact. Lucien shifted on his feet. “No thanks.” Tamlin broke the eye contact first, peering down at the floor. Lucien rolled his eyes hard, stepping toward his friend and placing a hand on his shoulder. Tamlin looked back up at him incredulously.

“Tam, look. I mean really. Look, at you. You haven’t left this place in months! You’re deteriorating. You’re absolutely ruining yourself, my friend. Wouldn’t it be nice to, I don’t know, get out for once?” Lucien’s eyes search Tamlin’s hopefully, and for a moment he sees a flash of what looks like consideration in them.

“No. I don’t.” Tamlin moves to turn away, and Lucien throws his hand up in frustration. Tamlin, caught off guard, halts his movements.

“I don’t know what to do with you man! Can’t you humor me for once? I mean it’s been months since you let Feyre go-“

“Don’t you fucking bring her into this. I don’t have anything to do with her anymore.” He bites out. Lucien stares at him wide eyed, taking this as an opportunity.

“Okay…. so you’re over it. But… it was nice having her here? Just, having someone to share your time with?” He says gently. Tamlin runs a hand through his hair, sighing and looking at the floor again.

“Yeah. Yeah it was, Lucien. Real nice until I fucked it all up.” Lucien walks closer once more, offering a small smile when Tamlin meets his eyes.

“So, come with me tomorrow. Get out there again, my friend. Don’t fuck it up this time.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧

Tamlin had to admit; he looked good. Felt good, too. Lucien brought him new clothes, and took him by the small barber shop in the court square the following morning to get a haircut before the festival that evening. He did take it upon himself to shower that morning; a long one, at that. He had a lot to think about, and he hadn’t been out in quite some time. There was a lot riding on tonight.

“Now, I know you haven’t been out in quite some time,” Lucien drawled, mimicking Tamlin’s thoughts. They walked through the hallways of the manor toward the front entrance, as the midday sun shone through the windows and onto the marble floor below. Dust danced in the golden streams of light. Gods, he thought. I really do need to clean up around here.

“But you needn’t worry! I’ll be there the whole time.” Lucien clapped a hand on his friends shoulder, leaning in close. “That is, unless your eyes find a lovely lady and you make other arrangements…” Tamlin looses a chuckle, Lucien reciprocating the sentiment. It felt good, genuine laughter again with an old friend. Tamlin felt a pang of guilt for all the times he snipped at Lucien just for trying to coax him out of this rotting hole he dug himself so deep into.

Once the two approach the doors to the manor and push them open, they peer out and to the expanse of the court they had called home beyond. Lucien motions outward with a hand. “Shall we?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧

The sun was a half-circle along the ocean’s horizon when the pair arrived at the Summer court for the festival. Though it seemed late to the High Lord of the Spring court (who wasn’t used to coming to such things), this was only the beginning of the fun-filled evening to come.

Between walking and winnowing, Tamlin felt a bit worn from the use of his power. He hadn’t needed to use it in quite some time, and with his refusal to partake in the past Calanmai, his stamina wasn’t as up-to-par as it used to be. Glancing to his side, Lucien seemed to be keeping in shape, whatever he’d been doing to hone his powers sure was working as he didn’t even break a sweat.

“Alright, so I believe the way this works is that there are celebrations along the beach, and some activities through the towns?” Lucien explains. Tamlins eyes drop to the sand-dusted cobblestone road when two Summer court females pass by, eyeing him in suprise and quieting their tone as they neared. He couldn’t help but feel… embarrassed.

“Lucien, I’m not sure if coming here was the best idea.” He admits, scratching his jaw. The short sleeved silk shirt he donned was indeed a good choice, as the warm air was causing Tamlin a bit of discomfort. That, or maybe his anxiety was causing his hands to clam up. Either way, he was feeling warm, jittery, and… out of place.

“Hey,” Lucien said, stopping his pace and turning to his friend. Tamlin stopped too, realizing his hands were tightly clamped into fists at his side. Lucien offered a warm smile, and jerked his head to the sandy beaches that looked a little less crowded than the town.

“Let’s get you a drink, yeah?” Tamlin nodded, and Lucien chuckled, motioning for him to follow. Sand squished beneath the flat planes of his sandals as they waded toward a small wooden hut in the sand, and Tamlin glanced around at the varying people gathered near the center of it.

Lucien approached the bar first, sliding close to a girl in a pink sundress with long, caramel colored hair. She looked to him when they touched, and gasped in suprise, offering a small hug. Ugh. He always had such a way with women.

“Lucien! I didn’t know you’d made it!” She beamed. Her face looked vaguely familiar as Tamlin leaned into the bar on Lucien’s opposite side.

“Only just a few minutes ago,” he replied. She smiled up at him, his arm still around her waist. Then it hit him. That was definitely his mate. Lucien turned to Tamlin, who was now focused on the back of the bartender’s head.

“Tamlin, you’ve met Elain before, right?” He asked. Tamlin turned, pretending to see her for only the first time that evening.

“Yeah! Yeah. Of course. Nice to see you. Again.” He said. Gods, she looked so much like Feyre. No wonder he’d found her familiar.

She offered him a polite smile. “You too.” She kissed Lucien’s cheek, and Tamlin sighed. Before he could pretend to not look again, he felt a tiny tap on the back of his elbow. He turned his head slightly, catching a glimpse and then fully turning to face you.

You stood in silence for a moment, mouth parted and eyes wide as you took in the most handsome male you’d ever seen. He was doing the same, eyes raking over your body and catching on your lips for a moment before returning to meet your gaze. You blinked once, twice, trying to remember what you were doing over here in the first place.

“Oh um… I’m so sorry, um…” you stammer. The corner of his mouth tilts upwards, and you catch a glimpse of his lovely white canines. You can feel your face hot with embarrassment.

“I was just wondering if you ordered yet, I…” Tamlin crossed his strong arms over his chest, a smirk taking over his lips. He took a step to the side, clearing a space for you at the bar. He held out a motioning hand for you to step up, so you did, opting to close your fumbling mouth. Lucien’s eyes glanced to you; then to Tamlin in question as you replaced his friend’s position against the bar. The questioning didn’t go on very long, as the two shared a knowing look moments later.

The bartender took note of the empty space before you on the counter and walked over to you, first asking and preparing a drink for Lucien. He slid to you next, and within moments you felt body heat very close to you from behind.

“What’ll you have, Miss?” He asks.

“Mai Tai, please. Strong,” you say. He nods, glancing above your shoulder. “And for you, sir?” You crane your neck, the tips of blond hairs tickling your nose as Tamlin’s arms move to cage you in to the countertop. He leans in close so the bartender can hear him.

“Whatever she’s having!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧

“Andddd, over here we have the shell art studio,” you say. The sun had dipped a bit more, and from the very first drink Tamlin had clung to you like a cloth drenched by the ocean. His friend was happy to let him go; “Have fun, brother!” he’d said. His pretty female friend smacked him on the chest for that one.

You now walked along the sidewalk in the Summer town, pointing out some of your favorite booths and tents that you’d frequent when the Summer festival would occur each year. The sun was dipping low beyond the skyline, the last remnants of it painting your new friend’s portrait beautifully in the pink and golden hues.

“Oh! There is the pineapple ice bar! I can’t believe they’re still here…” you say excitedly. Tamlin looks down at you, noting every freckle on your joyous little face as your cheekbones rise in excitement.

“Well… if it’s as good as you’re making it out to be… we must try some, shouldn’t we?” He requests. Your mouth drops in shock, and you grasp his bicep.

“You’ve… never had… pineapple ice?” You ask, mouth open. He shakes his head, lips thinning to a flat line. “I’ve never really toured the Summer court, remember? You asked me earlier if I knew how to make a sandcastle?” He replies. You furiously shake your head, groaning and grasping one of his hands in yours.

“Okay — we’re getting this to try, just as a starting point,” you explain. Tamlin nods, trying to ignore the fireworks in his mind from your touch. “But, when you come back to visit, I’m giving you the grand tour, we’ll see everything, I promise!” You hiccup, and Tamlin chuckles. You’re pulling him toward the booth, the few drinks causing the two of you to more or less stumble your way there instead. When you let go of his hand, he sighs a little — only in his mind.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧

“Okay, so, my turn… can you surf?” You ask. The booze has kicked in full swing now, and you have retired with your new companion to a large blanket by one of the hundreds of mini bonfires littering the outstretch of coastline. Upon your suggestion to get to know eachother better, you’ve begun to ask eachother random questions.

“Y/N…” Tamlin chuckles, placing his spoon back into his mostly-empty pineapple ice cup. “I told you I’m not from here, remember?” A laugh bubbles from deep in your chest, and you let it out, causing Tamlin to laugh with you. His wonderful white smile shines bright like the stars overhead.

“I am soooo rediculous!” You say in between your giggles. You set your empty cup down next to you, and Tamlin looks at you sincerely. He mimicks your movements, setting his cup down and then reaches to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You blush, and pretend the colorful explosions just from his touch aren’t there.

“I don’t think you’re rediculous.” He says softly. You grin at him, leaning closely and he chuckles again. He’s laying on his side, head propped up in one hand and you’re sitting cross-legged next to him.

“Mmmm andddd what do you think of me?” You ask. His brow raises, and he stares deep into your eyes. He feels a tightening in his chest, trying his best to be suave with his flirtatious attempts. If only it came so easily to him as it did to Lucien…

“I think you’re … lovely,” he says. You giggle, and he inches closer. “Very, very funny,” another inch. Your breath catches, as he pretends to not be so nervous this close to your lips. “And a very good… tour guide!” His hand flicks his spoon at your nose, landing pineapple ice atop the small slope. You squeal, and his fingers find your ribs, sending you fluttering onto your back as you squirm and laugh under his wiggling touch. In an instant his face is hovering over yours, mossy eyes vibrant with delight and peering into yours. His fingers eventually stop moving, finding purchase on your hips just above your low waisted jean shorts. He holds firm as his tongue flicks out, slowly licking the melting pineapple ice from the tip of your nose. You stare at him, wide-eyed before furrowing your brow and placing a hand over his.

“Tamlin,” you say gently. He smiles softly at you, loving how his name sounds in your voice. He tries not to fall in love right then and there; it didn’t feel this good, this right the last time.

“Who… why… I don’t understand why I don’t know you. How, I don’t know you. How I haven’t met you until just now?” You say. Your words only slip together slightly, as his fingers delicately trace circles on your exposed skin below your tank top.

He lets out a small sigh, his expression going solemn. “I don’t think you’d want to know the real me.” He turns to look toward the water, shame flooding his mind when he remembers what and who he still is. Memories of Feyre, everything he’d done and messed up and how he would probably do that again. He wouldn’t change; she made it known that he couldn’t. He still believed it.

Your brows draw together, fingers caressing his cheeks and turning his face to look at you once more. His mouth is only an inch or two from yours, and you’re almost sharing breath at this point.

“What if I do?” You ask, eyes searching his in desperation. His expression softens as those terrorsome memories fade, eyes lining with silver. You smile at him, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. His hand holds yours in his against his face, and you use the other to finally pull him into you, sparing him from making a move he didn’t know you’d be ready for.

The syrupy sweet pineapple remnant kiss sent tethers of electricity through you; the warmth of his mouth on yours heating you from your head to your toes. His hand moves to cup your face, tangle in your hair — and yours pulls him closer by his (very soft) shirt collar. His heart beat is loud, pounding against where your chests touch. His fingers dance up and down your exposed skin and graze under the hem of your tank top while his tongue briefly swipes over your bottom lip before he pulls away. You open your eyes to look at him, a cheeky grin over taking your face when he grins down at you.

Behind his head, you catch sight of a shooting star and gasp. “Tamlin!” You whisper. He turns slightly, then fixes his gaze on you again. “Tamlin it’s a shooting star — you make a wish on those, you know? I don’t know how they do it back where you’re from, but here—“

His mouth presses against yours again, this time no question in his mind if he’s doing the right thing or not. You can’t help but melt into his touch, into him; only pulling back to catch your breath.

“Darling, I’d only wish for you.”

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