#i hope i haven't forgotten any too important couple

[noa-ciharu]

A CLAMP ship can be divided into two categories:

Messed up beyond what is humanly possible

Drowning in so much fluff you get diabetes from simply being in their proximity

Of course, there are overlaps mostly to make the reader suffer even more when they hit you with the angst train

Clamp ships angst scale:

Since no space on badly organized graph I'll write captions under cut

Tooth rooting fluff category:

Akira/Utako, CSD and Duklyon couples(0.5 angst points):

-Look, it's Clamp's mangas so 0 angst is impossible thing to happen

-Very cute, very funny, very 'no angst' so they deserve lowest score on scale

Syaosaku (ccs) and Touyuki (1.0 angst points)

-Rooth rooting fluff

-Fluff so sweet you need to drink water immediately afterwards

-Some miniature drama happened but nothing much

-Love conquers all

Saika/Kakei and their Wish counterparts (1.5 angst points)

-couple so sexy they haven't angsted one day in their sexy lives

- angst is bc their adopted son and his bf are angsting (aka plot angst)

-fucked so kinky even hell kicked them out

-demon!angel and angel!demon

Shuichiro/Kohaku(2 angst points)

-"we gathered here today because some *glares ar coffin* couldn't stay alive"

- very cute, very sweet

-not much do be said here rly

Fujimoto/Kobato(2.2 angst points)

- tsundere boy and sweet girl

-angst caused by misunderstandings and plot

-Kobato is so cute idk how could he be mean to her in beginning. Must be bc of tsundere genes

Fiero/Fuu and Ascot/Umi which I forgot to add (3.0 angst points)

-seen coming from miles away

- side couples

-very cute

-they get along well so all angst points is bc of plot

Rikuou/Kazehaya(3.3 angst points)

-boy was clamp not subtle

-condom saved a life

-BL tropes on maxxx

-some angst was starting to unravel but series was put on hiatus so we'll never know

Lantis/Hikari/Eagle(4.0 angst points)

-canon poly go brrrr

-a bit rushed

-power of love saved the world

-is it better if I don't ask about age gaps?

'Prepare tissues, tears might be incoming' category

Hideki/Chii(4.8 angst points)

- your dick was tricked, get prepared for feels

- very sweet and innocent

-psychological questions in background

-more than you bargained for

Clow/Yuuko(5.0 angst points)

- love so strong it fucked up time and space

- idk where to put them since there's no backstory but enough hints to indicate there was some (probably tragic) backstory

- bastard man pulled best woman in the universe

-if you stumbled upon TRC after CCS, my condolences in advance

Syaosaku (TRC) (5.6 angst points)

- angst kicks in from first chapter and inky get worse

-"i'll sacrifice myself for you so you don't suffer" *processes to make other one suffer*

-feathers are problematic in this one

Kurofai(6.6 angst points)

-litetally married couple with 4 and half kids

-opostites attract

- one beated another into going to therapy

-could have ended tragic but instead it became slow burn healing couple ❤

Sorata/Arashi(6.6 angst points)

-flirting, teasing, flirting then bam - they fucked

- X couple so ofc they're have 0 common sense

- very sweet and fun couple and then angst kicks in

- silver lining of X being on hiatus is that Sorata is still alive :')

Zagato/his princess with name I'm unable to spell (7.0 angst points)

- starts off as cliche not even a couple but then plot twist twists you

- and you're on the floor bathing in own tears

-Clamp's casual angst

-'I don't want to live without you' type of couple

-self destructive

'Are you ready for pure pain and suffering?' Category

Douwata (7.4 angst points)

-'I'll always love you' vibes

-pain of loving someone who's self sacrificial and lacks self worth

- pinning phrase lasts for century

- eggs are problematic in this one

- eyes too

Yasha/Ashura(7.9 angst points)

-tragedy seen miles away

-the amount of hair in this ship, it's unparalleled

-very devoted and touching

- 'happy ending' but at what cost?

Kazuhiko/Oura(8.3 angst points)

-alright, we all knew beforehand she was dead but amount of feels that hit, I wasn't expecting that

- one of rare instances of non-chasity couple

-songs hit super hard

-actually whole manga hits super hard

Souma/Kendappa(8.8 angst points)

- Shakespeare wishes he wrote them

- tragic lesbians. Clamp pls let lesbians be together at least once

-kendappa why????

-again, plot twist twisted us all ;-;

Fuukam (9.0 angst points)

-very sexy, very fucked up

-were a very sweet couple then plot kicked in and one turned into antichrist

- you're minding your own business and bam:fuukam feels hit you like bullet train

- ending was meant to be so tragic even editors said it's too tragic

Taishakuten/Ashura ou(9.8 angst points)

- Shakespeare wishes he wrote this one as well

-proposes a solution to how never part from your lover

-you've heard about Clamp's eye loss trope, now prepare for Clamp's eye gain trope

- not much is seen about them but from little we've seen they're tragic on steroids and lack common sense

-at least they're happily married teachers in shoten

Seisub(+∞ angst points)

-it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye

-extemly messed up. No therapy can fix them

-canon but at what cost?

- "I got feelings for first time in my life so there's only one logical thing to do now:die"

- there are many universes out there but not in one is seisub happily together. Really, even in Shoten Seishirou is a serial killer

- at least we're not Subaru

#thanks for ask! #i hope i haven't forgotten any too important couple #clamp #syaosaku #kurofai #douwata #seisub #fuukam #clow/yuuko #touyuki #and the rest I'm too lazy to tag

[alexturne]

I'm having a lot of thoughts and idk if I've fully thought it all out, but I needed to get it down and try to work out how I feel about it all..

I genuinely don't think this whole "discourse" is what's happening. I'm sure they just really wanted to do the whole bit with the strings and that's all.

Nothing to do with Alex and Miles being less close than they once were. Nothing to do with their relationship being less profound than it has always been. They're super important people in each other's lives and there comes a point when you've been that for someone for so long that it no longer requires constant reconfirmation. Their friendship is so solid, so deeply rooted within them both, that they don't need to perform together to assure themselves that they're good. There's no question. They're friends, and they always will be, no matter how much time passes, they'll always be there for each other. I have no doubt about that.

And they asked Miles to come along, they knew they could count on him to make it and do an amazing show, even on short notice. And Miles was there watching, having fun, riding the high of his own show, and I bet it doesn't hurt him the slightest bit not playing 505 with them. And neither does Alex not joining him for a tlsp track. And it's just very fun to watch Miles do such a great job on such a massive stage and to watch Alex (maybe) send some inside jokes his way, and definitely acknowledge his presence more than he has for any other opening act.

Miles has enjoyed playing a couple of the more Miles centric tlsp tunes during the last year at his own shows, and he probably just took them off the setlist when they figured out they wouldn't have the time/energy to rehearse and work it all out. And to not lead anyone on and create false hope that Alex might show up. It's been a long time since they've done it. And Alex is the sort of guy who has probably forgotten his own lyrics, and would require more time and brain capacity to practice to get it in order. Or something else that is perfectly reasonable.

Like, I'm all for delusions but I guess I'm just saying that I don't think it's that deep. They're friends. Close friends. Very important to each other. (Maybe more if that's how you choose to view it). And I bet they don't even think about the shows in the same terms as we do, every little thing doesn't matter as much to them as it does to us. Not everything is a "sign" and there are so many pragmatic and logistical reasons that play into a tour like this that we know nothing about.

I bet Alex is exhausted, excited for the tour to be over and to get to go home and rest, I know I would be! Even if he has loved every bit of it, I would be completely worn out and just ready to go home. But I bet they were also so excited to have the strings and they wanted to really have them shine during the set. It was their show. The Monkey's show, and they finally had the chance to let the vision they had for the album come to life. What an amazing end of the tour.

I won't get too much into why they haven't utilized the strings sooner, because they obviously could've and I don't get why they didn't, and maybe they could've skipped the strings on 505 and had Miles up for it instead. It would've been incredible. So much potential. A lot of fans would've been pleased bout that, and I know they'd enjoy it and have fun playing together too.

But they didn't, and even if I would love to know the actual reason, I'm choosing to let it go and assume there is a very logical and reasonable explanation, and not some big dramatic fallout going on. I can be disappointed about not seeing them, but I don't think it "means" anything in the grander scheme of things.

Miles could've played with them (assuming he doesn't for the last one either), and I won't get into that discussion too much either, because ofc they could have done it together, but so many things had to work out and maybe Miles just wanted to do his own thing. Maybe they never got around to having the conversation, maybe something entirely different happened. We don't know.

And yes ofc I'm disappointed that we didn't get to see them together, I won't deny it. I would've loved it, both as a fan of their music and performances and as a tiny little happy milex lover, my shipper and fic writer heart would've been so so pleased about it. But we didn't get it this time around, and that doesn't mean that their friendship is over or that they hate each other or that they're not close anymore or that they don't love each other anymore. And it doesn't mean that we won't ever see them play together again.

I think they would love to perform together again, but I would assume they also have so many other things they love to do too. So many other things that require their energy. Even together, but also just their personal dreams and wants in life.

They're both into the idea of tlsp being back someday, but as it has always been with them, tlsp will return when the time is right, when it happens naturally. That's the beauty of it. It's something that just happens and that's why they both love and enjoy it so much, I think. It's about freedom and spontaneity, it's without boundaries, it can't be planned or controlled, it's a beautiful chaos between two close friends who love to make music together, and who are incredibly talented at it. But they're also artists who have other ambitions. Other projects they love.

And their friendship doesn't depend on tlsp releasing new music. It is a product of their beautiful friendship, but the friendship came first. Them not writing together right now actually says absolutely nothing about the current state of their friendship. Which we have seen signs of being as healthy and strong as ever, if a bit more private than it used to be. And that's fine. They're super private people, and honestly I would have much more reason to worry for their friendship if they suddenly started posting about it all the time and parading each other around. They're not like that and they never will be and that's fine.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Yes, they're being dumbasses - both the band and our dear milex boys, throughout the whole tour - with not utilizing the strings earlier on the tour, not playing more of The Car on the setlist, not skipping more of AM, not taking advantage of ALL THAT POTENTIAL. They could've done the strings for Glastonbury, it would've been perfect. They could've easily included Miles in a few more gigs (it was sooooo lovely when they did), these last ones in particular, and it would've been so beautiful and meaningful and they would've had so much fun with it - they could've made so many better decisions than they did. The whole tour came with some question marks. We can all agree on that. They're being stupid and they seem to not always think very far ahead, and sometimes forget to use their brains, and I assume that's why they end up not having time to rehearse and work things out sooner, and that is honestly just so dumb of them. They could be doing so much more and I hope some things will improve next time.

But either way - the tour is over and I've loved every second of it.

The new album is super gorgeous and it finally got the string section it deserved. What an amazing finish to the tour. I sincerely hope they will be bringing a lot of The Car back next time around.

Deeply in my own heart I wish we would see Alex and Miles on stage together again soon, but at the same time, I wish Miles the very best with his own work, he truly deserves all the success in the world. And I hope Alex will get some well-earned rest and time off. I hope he will go free of paparazzi and find peace and quiet after this insanely taxing year, and I hope he finds bunches and bunches of inspiration for new songs. I hope tlsp will be back sooner rather than later and I hope they're happy.

I've loved getting to follow the tour, I've loved being on here freaking out with you guys, and I will miss getting to see their little faces everyday. Truly.

But I think it's so well deserved for them to take a break and I hope they will be back soon.

#this is so rambly and maybe ill backtrack later if my thoughts and feelings change #but i feel like its good to try and be reasonable about it all #and try to see it from their perspective #just to keep our own hearts calm too #assuming he doesn't join for the last show either #judt trying to clear my own head #arctic monkeys

[the-fiction-witch]

Afraid Of Me

Media TMR

Character Newt

Couple's Newt X Marie & Newt X Reader

Rating Sweet + Abusive

Requested:

I just had a master idea come into my head for a writing request. The plot line would go something like there are two girls in the Glade (this is a Newt x Y/n) and basically Newt dates the other girl and she is quite abusive towards him. And when he finally gets over her and starts dating Y/n, they sit in her hut one day and he does something (or makes a mistake or something) and he basically braces himself for Y/n to hit him. And then the ending is all like

fluff and cute and all that 🤭😄🙏🏼👍🏼

Warnings - Physical Abuse, Mental Abuse, Gaslighting, Abusive relationship, suicide, self harm, emotional manipulation

I stood doing my work and keeping an eye on the time as I worked on things, 

“Newt!” my body froze up and I even dropped my hoe onto the grass 

“Y-yes Marie” I answered picking it up and turning to see her standing there 

"I told you I wanted us to have lunch together" 

"Oh is it lunchtime already?" 

"No, my lunch break is over"

"Oh no, I'm sorry Marie I lost track of time" 

"Whatever" she sighed marching off back to work

"No Marie please I didn't mean to -" I began trying to follow her 

"Enough, I don't wanna hear it newt" she snapped "Go back to work"

"You sure you're okay?'

"I'm fine" she snapped I have her cheek a kiss but she didn't respond heading back to work so I went back to work too. 

When I was finally done with work I skipped dinner and just headed to Marie's little hut in the deadheads hoping for a snuggle but when I arrived I noticed how she was crying

"Marie, what's the matter?" 

"You know what you did!'

"I don't I swear please just tell me what's wrong?" I asked her 

"You're always like this! You always just play down these things like how I feel isn't important"

"Whatever I did Marie I'm sorry, just tell me and I'll fix it" 

"You know I don't like eating lunch on my own! You promised you'd come to sit with me every day" she explained "Do you have any idea how horrible it is being the only girl surrounded by boys"

"You're not the only girl there's y/n?"

"That's not the point! You promised you would"

"I'm sorry Marie I really am it just got away from me, you know I don't leave you alone on purpose, maybe you should come to get me when it's lunchtime so I don't forget"

"Well, I would think you wouldn't forget your promises!"

"I haven't forgotten -"

"It's fine! I didn't realise that just sitting with me is such a chore! Maybe I should just run off into the maze as it's obvious you don't want to spend time with me"

"Marie of course I want to spend time with you" I told her "your my girlfriend I love you, and I want to spend every moment with you. I'm sorry I’m just stupid and I forget things," I told her wrapping my arms around her to try and comfort her "You know that don't you?"

"It doesn't feel like it" she says digging her nails into my arms and forcing me away 

"Okay, I'm sorry I should do better I'm sorry I really am Marie I'll do better I promise"

"That's what you always say"

"And I mean it," I told her "Hey? Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" 

She smiled a moment stroking my cheek but she slapped me hard "owww!"

"Just leave me alone newt" 

"Alright, I'll give you your space," I told her going to leave her alone but I fell to the floor as she had thrown something not sure what at the back of my head forcing me to the floor as she came and kicked and punched me between her tears 

"Why would you leave me alone when I'm clearly upset! You just don't care, do you? You don't care about my emotions!"

"You told me to leave you alone!' I complained

"You should know I don't wanna be alone when in upset! Why can't you be a good boyfriend and say oh no I'll stay Marie because you’re upset and I love you and care for you and what you to feel better"

"Okay! I'm sorry I'm sorry! I'm a bad boyfriend I should do better I should know that I'm sorry!" 

"Just leave me alone newt!" She yells running to her hammock to loudly cry

"But you just said you didn't want to be alone-"

"Maybe I should just run into the maze where no one could find me, no one cares about me"

"Marie you know I care about you-"

"Just go newt!" 

I did my best as I sat at the table to hide my bruises I know they weren't that bad but I didn't want anyone to see any way they wouldn't understand I sat with Marie beside me y/n across from us and Minho and Thomas near the end of the table all of us chatting as we sipped our moonshine, I felt somewhat distant from the conversation between Minho, Thomas and y/n. I don't know how but I always kinda felt excluded Marie made a point to make herself different and kinda take herself back from everyone I guess that just continues to me sometimes too.

"How are the strawberries coming newt?" Y/n asks clearly attempting to bring me into the conversation which did make me feel better and the two of us chatted for a good while given I worked in the gardens and she works in the kitchens we had a close relationship even if we didn't see each other much, and honestly, I didn't talk to y/n a lot anymore I know how it made Marie feel which is what made our conversation stop short as Marie just got up and left 

"Sorry I uhh" I said quickly getting up and following her back to her hut where we locked the door 

“I hope you had fun!”

“What do you mean?”

“With y/n” 

“Marie, it’s okay you have no need to be worried it’s just y/n”

“Ohh so I should be worried?”

“What no!”

“Why should I be worried? Is this what goes on when I’m at work?”

“No! Nothing goes on. Don’t you trust me?” “Ohhh so I’m the jealous controlling girlfriend now, that's what you tell y/n that I’m just a stupid jealous girl”

“I haven’t said anything to her, we were just talking about the gardens that's all. If you’d just gotten involved in the conversation you’d have known that”

“So it’s my fault!” she screamed picking up a rock and hurling it at my head for a moment flooring me “I told you I don’t want you talking to her!”

“She’s my friend-”

“I’m your girlfriend!”

“She’s one of only sixty people here, I knew her for a year before you came up what do you expect me to do Marie?”

“Fine. I see how it is. You like her more then me”

“No Marie of course not. You know I love you” 

“I should just go, you’ll be happier with her. You don’t love me. You’re just gonna cheat on me anyway”

“I’m not going to cheat on you I promise. Marie please you have to have some faith in me, don’t you love me?” 

“Ohh that is so manipulative! Because I love you, you should just be allowed to do whatever you want!” she yelled, she said a lot more about how horrible a boyfriend I was but I couldn’t hear much of it most of it not sinking in between her kicks and punches 

“Okay! Okay! I’ll stop talking to her! I’ll not leave you alone! I’ll do whatever you want to make you happy” I cried 

“I shouldn’t have to ask you! You shouldn’t need to be told the bare minimum!” she yelled 

“Okay! I’m sorry I’m sorry!”

I finished up work and headed into the deadheads towards Marie’s hut skipping dinner as usual as I didn’t want to leave her alone too long but when I arrived I noticed she had a runners pack and was gathering things up around her hut

“Marie, what’s going on?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Le-Leaving! What are you talking about?” 

“I can’t live like this anymore newt. I’m just sick of everything I’m leaving”

“Wh-where are you going to go?”

“Into the maze, if I can’t find a way out I’m just going to die”

“Marie no! Please- just stay just stay one more month I promise we’ll do everything we can to-”

“No! I’m going” she says “Get your things”

“What- Marie… I wanna stay here.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Of course, I love you but… I don’t want to leave the glade.”

“Fine! Then I’ll go without you” she says taking her bag I tried to talk her out of it all the way to the doors but she wouldn’t listen.

“Marie Please don’t do this”

“If you loved me, you’d come with me, Come on let's go.”

“....No.”

“What?”

“No Marie, I don’t want to go with you”

“Fine! You’re a dick!” She just left running off without me. I sat and waited by the doors hoping she’d to her senses and come back but surely enough the doors closed, I waited by the doors all night in the hope she’d come back but nothing. Minho even let me go out a couple of days to look for her but we never found anything. 

I sat on the log by the fire on my third moonshine of the night “Hey? You doing okay?” Y/n asks as she came to sit with me 

“Yeah sorry -” I began wiping my eyes 

“Newt it's okay, I’m sorry about Marie” 

“It’s okay. I’ll be alright”

“Well you need anything you know where” she smiled “Come here” she smiled giving me a tight hug for a moment I didn’t move but I couldn’t help myself hugging her tightly and inhaling her sweet scent 

“Thank you y/n”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled, heading out to the rest of the bonfire. 

It had been almost a year since Marie ran off and the scars she left me with still hadn’t healed both real and emotional I had slowly gotten myself over it all even if there were still nights I found myself unable to stop crying but things had gotten better, I reconnected with so many of my friends and even started a new relationship y/n and I hung out so much more since Marie left and I felt so happy spending time with her, she was always so sweet to me. I sat by the fire moonshine in one hand my other hand on Y/n’s waist her head on my chest as we cuddled up by the fire she gave me a gentle playful poke “Yeah?” I asked and she tugged my arm so I brought the moonshine jar to her lips letting her have a sip till she nods so I took it away “Ahh?” I asked opening my mouth she smiled and brought her chicken stick to my mouth so I took one “Thank you” 

“You’re welcome” she smiled nuzzling a little closer I smiled down at her and she happily smiled back giving my lips a little kiss before she nuzzled back into my neck we chatted sharing our stuff for a good while until it got fairly late 

“Did you want me to walk you back to your hut?”

“That’d be nice newt, if you like you’re more than welcome to come for a snuggle?” 

“Really?”

“Yeah come on” she smiled getting up and tugging my hand to pull me up with her I happily got up and we headed to her hut hand in hand sitting on her little bed together snuggling and often kissing “Oww” she complained as I had squeezed her a little too hard 

“Ohh I’m so sorry Y/n” I quickly told her moving away to put space between us 

“It's okay” she smiled closing the gap I made between us “Just not so hard okay?”

“Okay” I nodded and soon enough we returned to our cuddle now making out heavily, often tossing and rolling over on the bed until we hit the floor 

“Owww!” 

“Oh my god- I’m so sorry y/n I’m so sorry” I quickly told her shuffling myself into the corner and holding my arms close to my body 

“Newt? Are you okay?” she asks coming to sit beside me and gently setting her hand on my shoulder 

“I’m fine”

“It’s okay you didn’t hurt me, it’s okay.” she reassured

“You sure?”

“Of course, I’m worried about you are you okay?”

“Yeah yeah I’m fine” I answered moving away again 

“Newt? Are you afraid of me?”

“I mean…”

“Why would you be afraid of me?”

“Well, aren’t you going to shout at me? Or hit me? Kick me?”

“...W-why would I hurt you?”

“Because I hurt you. I messed up.”

“Newt we fell off the bed. It's not your fault. It was an accident”

“You’re really not gonna do anything? You're not going to shout at me? Say I don’t love you?”

“Of course not,” she says “Why on earth would I ever do anything like that to you,” she says “... Did Marie use to do that to you?” 

I nodded 

“Could you let me see?”

I was nervous but I let her see the scars of my relationship with Marie and it brought her to tears 

“Ohh newt, you poor thing. Why didn’t you ever say she was treating you like this?”

“I didn’t know any better. I thought that how relationships were”

“Ohh newt, I love you” she says hugging me tightly “You are loved. By all the boys too we all care about you so much we’d never let her treat you like that if we knew”

“You- you won’t hit me?”

“Of course not never.”

“Or kick me?”

“No, Absolutely not”

“You won’t scream and shout, tell me off for talking to people?”

“No, you talk to whoever you want to.”

“You won’t shout at me for missing lunch together?”

“I mean I’ll be mad if I find out your skipping meals. But if you want to lunch with the boys or on your own that's fine. I can’t say I won’t ever get mad at you but I promise you I will never hurt you” she explained being gentle and careful to hug me 

“You promise?”

“I promise I love you very much newt and together we’ll work on getting these healed” she says “And all those internal ones up here too,” she says tapping my head 

“Okay” I nodded “That sounds nice, I love you very much y/n I’m sorry-” “You have nothing to apologize for, come on let's get tucked up. You can stay here tonight”

“You- You’ll let me stay?”

“Of course we can get cosy and cuddle up till work tomorrow” she smiled sitting on the bed and patting beside her so I happily wiped my tears and sat with her. 

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #tbs smut #tbs #thomas brodie sangster #thomas sangster #the maze runner newt #maze runner newt #newt maze runner #newt #newt imagine #newt imagines #tmr newt imagine #tmr newt smut #tmr newt imagines

[mrs-monaghan]

I think you don't understand the point here. Friends can hangout whenever they want..yes. couples don't need to spend every minute with each other...yes I agree. But that's not the point here. Point is jimin was going to ny the next day and jk..as u are saying jimin's boyfriend...was not with him bcz he was at the premiere with a guy friend who he's most shopped with and later on going for drinks till early morning... You say it or no but it's strange and clearly shows how jikook cant be real. Nobody wants a partner like that who can't even spend a day with you before you are going out of the country. You are not addressing the point here.

I sent you this ask..i was supporting you before on stormie matter but now you are doing the same thing. You keep talking but when someone asks you to address the exact point or something..you are not going to post their ask?? Or maybe you are going to block us too like she did before.great. you have nothing to say what point i made...so keep ignoring logical asks and stay delulu. But what jk did yesterday...it clears out all the confusion of him being a couple with jimin. He and jimin are not together.

How did u know I deleted your ask? 👀

I have only recently just started getting asks but when I used to only read posts I always use to sympathise with Jikookers who had to deal with you lot. Because you people are annoying, I'm sorry. I wish you would just pick a side and then move along. You have two options anon (and any other insecure Jikooker reading this) its either a) You become a proper Jikooker and join us with celebrating and supporting their love or b) Stop being a Jikooker and just enjoy BTS content. Stay away from Jikook support spaces and just ship them on the surface as that one duo u find adorable and cute.

There is no other option. This back and forth is ridiculous to me. Pick a side. Please. I beg you. Does this look like a broken couple to you?

No seriously, look at them. If you see two exes behaving like this I assure you they're still fucking. No cap. If my man behaved like that with his ex I would result to violence. I'm not even kidding he would catch these hands 👊🏽

An anon told me that u guys come to us to convince you that Jikook are still a couple and I'm starting to see that. But why is it so important to u that Jikook be together? Or not together for that matter? Why does it have to be black and white?

What JK did yesterday it clears out all the confusion of him being a couple with Jimin.

Okay I'm glad you have come to that conclusion. And that's okay. Now will this help you move on? Will u finally stop sending asks to Jikookers trying to disprove Jikook? I hope so. Because you can't be changing your mind next time Jimin tells JK he loves him on weverse. You're not allowed to change your mind when we see them together and they're all lovey dovey as usual. You're not allowed, I'm sorry. Pick a side anon, please.

I am not confused as to whether or not Jimin and JK are together and you can't hold that against me. I do not need regular Jikook content to believe they're still making out behind closed doors. I, know that just because I don't see it doesn't mean Jikook were not cuddling the night before JK left for the premiere. Just because we didn't get a photo of it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. My memory is intact and I remember how natural this looked.

So I deduced that this is something they do regularly. Just because I have no footage of it, doesn't mean that was the last cuddle or the last time they ever fell asleep together.

My memory is intact and so I remember the love confession that is GCFT. I haven't forgotten the lyrics to Letter. My memory is still good and the last 10 years are worth something to me. I won't throw away everything they have ever said and showed us because JK went to a premiere instead of staying home with Jimin who was flying out.

Nobody wants a partner like that who can't even spend a day with you before you're going out of the country.

You know this, how?? Ever since JK came back from the US we don't know that they haven't been together every day since. I, believe they're together so I know they made time for each other. I don't need to see it, to believe it. I delete these asks for a reason. You need proof in order to believe Jikook is real and that's messed up. U wanna be a shipper, fine go be a shipper. But stay away from supporters because we believe what we believe. And you don't have to see things my way. You don't believe Jikook are a couple, well and good. But leave me out of it. Please. I am happy to be delulu. You do you, and I'll do me.

Oh. FTR I don't block people. If someone has an issue with me they can block me themselves. I resent the accusation. 😒

#keep streaming everyone #yt is finally working properly #insecure jikookers can kiss my natural black ass #insecure jikookers #jimin and jungkook #if jikook isn't real then neither am i #jikook is real #jikook #kookmin #minkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts #jimin #jungkook #jikookers

[mlmxreader]

Forget Me Not | Simon Ghost Riley x trans!m!reader

Anonymous asked: Hi there, it's me again and I'm back with another request this time for Simon "Ghost" Riley with pakistani!ftm reader who is a pilot. So it's there wedding(?) anniversary and reader thinks Simon has forgotten it so he goes on small flight, as he lands back on the ground simon is standing there. I had these two prompts in mind "You remembered our anniversary" and "I've put a do not disturb sign on the door, we'll be fine" (the last one was if you want to add spice into it I guess). Again if you don't feel comfortable doing it then its cool, thank you ❤️

summary: important dates aren't often remembered, but there's one date in particular that Ghost never, never forgets.

tws: swearing

Ghost had been counting down the hours to your anniversary, he had kept the exact date and time of your nikkah written down on a piece of paper and had kept it with him at all times ever since; from the day that it was officiated, the exact hour and minute, he had kept it written down. Knowing you, being your husband, was merely a glimpse of the blessings that Allah had graced him with. No one was allowed to really get to know Ghost, he didn't want to let anyone in too much in case they got hurt because of him, but your fifth anniversary was coming up, and... well, if he was honest, Ghost really did thank Allah for you being in his life.

He was waiting, he had a little hotel room all booked so that he could be with you without any interruptions, so that he could actually sit with you and tell you exactly what he was feeling and how he was so, so thankful to have had you in his life for all these years; but when you suddenly up and left for a flight with your fellow pilots from the Pakistan Air Force, Ghost was... a little lost, to say the least.

Usually, if it was a mission, like a bomb raid or surveillance or something, you always told him when and where you would be. You never just got up and decided to go for a flight, and he couldn't really understand why. But he waited, he waited on the landing strip, kicking his legs out a little as he kept his eyes on the skies.

"He fucking forgot our anniversary!" Nearly shouting in Punjabi down the Comms. "I mean, sure, it's been five years - but he... I'd been hoping he wouldn't forget."

"I dunno," Rohaan, another pilot, replied, "maybe he wants to surprise you?"

"Surprise me?" You scoffed, shaking your head even though you knew that he couldn't see it. "Fuck off. My Si doesn't do surprises."

"Golden Jackal, watch your six, I'm coming in hot," Yadid muttered, exhibiting great control over his plane as he flew it over yours. "Also, I don't think that Ghost forgot. Is not like him."

"A lot of things ain't fucking like him," you grumbled. "Are we clear to go further than the training fields?"

"Yes, Sir," Rohaan confirmed, following your lead when you took to the skies for a slightly bigger flight. "insha'Allah, you can fix things with Ghost, though."

"If he's not listening in," Yadid joked. "He speaks Punjabi as well as us, if he heard what we were saying, maybe he'd know how to fix things."

A couple of hours of flying around and talking to your boys honestly helped you so much more than what you wanted to admit; being able to talk things out and to clear your head was so, so much better than sulking and letting it fester. But when you got back, landing your plane with grace and control, you saw that Ghost was still waiting for you; he had not even moved a single inch yet.

But he got up the second your plane came to a complete stop, waving at you before you dared to approach him; he slung his arm around your shoulders, pulled you close into his side as he smiled behind his mask.

"Why are you in such a piss?" He asked, not daring to speak English, falling into step beside you as he lead the way to his car. "Did I do something?"

"No," you huffed, shaking your head. "It's what you haven't done."

Ghost looked at you for a moment, then his eyes widened as he realised and came to his senses. "Ah. Bollocks."

"What?"

He sighed heavily, gesturing to the road up ahead. "Booked a hotel room a few days ago so it would be just us for tonight. Y'know, special occasions and all that shit."

You paused, letting his word sink in for a moment before you grinned. "Mashallah, you remembered our anniversary?"

"Yeah," Ghost nodded. "I never forget."

Sure, there were ups and downs - there was in any marriage, but you loved Ghost dearly, and you knew from the moment that nikkah was signed, you never wanted to be without him.

You grinned, getting into the passenger side of the car; in all the years you had known Ghost, you had to admit - you were thankful that Allah had pushed you together.

From helping with your transition when you first came out and weren't really sure how to do certain things on your own, he helped you every single step of the way and had promised to make sure that you never faced any transphobia - even went so far as to make fucking sure of it, too, and had been pulled aside a few times for fighting American soldiers who remarked on you being trans.

From ensuring that you always knew he was safe to be around - if he ever raised his voice, he always made sure that you knew he never meant it in an angry way... often, it was just because he had been watching football and got a bit carried away -, all the way through to him practicing Islam, and to learning Punjabi.

Still, as he started the car, Ghost cleared his throat, swallowing thickly. "Nobody's gonna bother us."

"They're not?" You asked, looking over at him for a moment.

He shook his head. "No... I've put a do not disturb sign on the door, we'll be alright."

"We're gonn have to hope that your task force doesn't take do not disturb as a challenge," you joked softly, and when you heard his soft laugh, you grinned. "I'm sorry I got pissy with you earlier, Si."

"I'm sorry, too," he mumbled. "Didn't want to make you think I'd forgotten... it's on me... but, I'll book us a holiday to Pakistan soon."

"You will?" You couldn't help but to smile. "Si... my family will adore seeing you again, you realise that, right?"

"I know," he nodded. "Ain't seen 'em in too long... but, let's get to that hotel room first, yeah?"

"Yeah," you took his hand gently, and pressed a sweet kiss to his palm. "Thank you."

"It's alright," he mumbled. "Y'know, I thank Allah for bringing us together, for you being my husband, a lot more than you think."

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; spam likers WILL be blocked. as will blogs that refuse to reblog or to give feedback. if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM. don't just "like", REBLOG

#mlem writes #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley fanfic #simon ghost riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley #simon riley fanfic #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon riley #ghost mw2 #ghost bc #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost x y/n #ghost fanfic #ghost fanfiction #ghost riley x reader #ghost riley #call of duty fic #call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty mwii #call of duty mw2 #call of duty ghost #cod x reader

[roostache]

hi <3 here’s a few ideas that you could possibly use, for any rooster fics that you write!!

spending the whole day at the beach with him

meeting for the first time

him proposing to you

first date

going on vacation with him

taking care of him when he’s sick

or him taking care of you when you’re sick

having a movie night with him

if you want anymore ideas or even writing prompts. just let me know!!

okay so first of all I really wanted to thank you for ALL the plots you gave me here, and that I got inspired by a lot of them ! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to help me, I really really appreciate that !

And so I decided to take a go on the "him proposing to you", even though I don't know if that can really be considered a proposal

I hope you guys will like it, I haven't written in english in AGES !

NOT THAT MAN // rooster

Summary : After the events of Top Gun Maverick, Rooster finds himself forced to rethink about his life choices and the way he perceives relationships

Pairing : Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x GN!reader, no use of Y/N

Wordcount : 2.3k

Warnings : TG Maverick spoilers, mentions of death, some “fuck” because I’m not polite, and I'm not a native enlish speaker so probably some mistakes // if I forgot anything, please tell me so I can add it on the list !

The fear of dying. The fear of leaving his relatives behind just like he had lost his own parents. His dad, whom he kept not much memories of, then his mom, whom he always carried her favorite bracelet as his lucky charm. The fear of losing anyone else, the fear of losing himself. Reasons, Rooster could find many so he did not have to get attached to any one. Because he was scared, so scared that everything would stop one day. For them. For him.

But this fear was stopping him in life, way more than he wanted to show. He started thinking about this ever since Phoenix and Bob’s accident, though he did not even really know the latter he still found himself quite too much affected by the thought of losing them both. He thought about this ever since Maverick tried to make it look like losing someone you love is not that insurmountable. Because if he had forgotten about Goose, Bradley could never.

You don't have a wife… You have no children… There's no one to mourn when you crash.

He was no better. Fuck he was no better. Because Rooster got out of his life every person that would become a too important part of it, wrecking any of his romantic affairs, not always being here for his friends. He did not have the right, he simply did not have the right to be missed, and to let the people he loved live the excruciating agony of losing him, that specific feeling he hated a little more every day because of his parents deaths.

He was alone, and not sure that this aspect of his life would someday change. He was not even sure he’d want that anyway.

All that did not stop him from feeling things though. Oh, far from it. He was a passionate one, Rooster, and lived every emotion times a thousand just as he always felt like falling in love with every woman that entered his favorite bars. These women that never stood by his side for more than a few weeks, a couple of months if they were lucky. Each one of them thrown away as soon as he got back into his vicious circle of fear, this fucking fear that had always stopped him from living his own life.

Except that Rooster couldn’t avoid what was meant to be. He did not have such power, no matter how much he would have liked to. Then, everything always ended up the same, everything always reached the same point, again and again : with you. Regardless how much he tried to fight it, nothing could let him fell out of it.

Last weeks had felt like absolute hell, as if the time had slowed and life had lost all meanings. In fact maybe it was the case. With Bradley gone back to Top Gun, nothing seemed to fill the void he had left behind him. Wait, what void anyway ? Even though the pilot was not by your side anymore, you couldn’t get him off your brain. And anxiety gained the upper hand every time you got a thought about him. What is Bradley doing ? What’s the point of his mission ? Is he risking big ? Is he scared ? I’m scared. I’m terrified. Come home, Bradley.

Days spent with no news from him made you look at life through opaque black-tinted glasses. Mainly, this silence allowed you to think and rethink about the relationship that united you. This connection words couldn’t even describe, except for “complicated”. It was complicated to share a love that seemed one-sided every two weeks, complicated to keep faith when you were hoping to find him by your side the mornings after he had spent the night at yours, while he had left without a word nor explaining himself later on, complicated when all you could do was watch him bring any chick he did not know home when you were ready to follow him anywhere if he just said one word. It was complicated to trust his drunken “I love you”s when you saw him getting his tongue up the throat of another one 20 minutes later. Complicated and yet addictive. Because still it was easy to love him.

Brad² ♡  : coming home in just 5 days

And then radio silence, so you only could count on this text that you read and re-read every night to get you to cry just a little more every time. Fuck how you missed him.

When he had sent this text, Rooster immediately turned off his phone with the idea of not turning it back on before he’d be back on land. He only had one goal : focus on the mission that, even with the most seriousness, had great chances to send him to his death. But he failed as all of his thoughts were about you and all the moments you shared. Those where he never had the courage to go all the way.

Years. Years not knowing how to live without you and yet always running away. Years convincing himself he’d finally express his love for you before actually taking a step back. Years lost torturing himself, torturing you when you were still waiting for him. And that he knew, but he never could be that man that’d abandon you. He had never wanted to hurt you though he knew he was your cries main reason. He was the main reason for his own too anyways.

This mission, the one that was supposed to kill him, saw him coming back alive despite all the efforts he'd made to die there. When he almost got hit full force by some missiles, when he went to help Maverick while ordered to go back to the aircraft carrier, when he had to follow him in an old F-14 he didn’t know anything about with enemies coming for them. Rightly so seeing life a different way afterwards, finally understanding that, maybe, he had the right to think about the future and what he could really do about it. Maybe he could allow himself what he had always dreamt of without ever taking it.

Coming back to the base, he did not expect anyone. Rooster knew that Maverick would meet Penny and her daughter, that Phoenix would jump into her sister’s arms, Bob’d kiss his fiancée and Hangman’s nephews and nieces would harass him with too many questions. Rooster had only planned to pack and head to the Hard Deck to celebrate the victory with everyone.

Except that, apparently, he wouldn’t be going on his own.

There was a crowd cheering their feat and still, among all of the faces, he instantly found his favorite one without even expecting to see it. There, on the tarmac, only a few feet away, the one who did not even know gave him the courage to do all of this. Hundred of miles away from home, you still felt like being right where you needed to be : beside him. There and nowhere else.

When he saw you, Rooster felt strangely great and sick at the same time. He could not hear the crowd around him and it seemed like Earth was turning way faster around the Sun than usually. The ground was threatening to swallow him and his heart to run from his chest and fly right to you. He was almost sure he was going to collapse as he couldn’t even move. And that’s right then that he understood just how in the wrong he had always been. He was not alone, and as long as you’d be here, he’d never be. No matter what he’d do to you, all the pain he knew he gifted you.

With a shy smile after all this time spent away from him, you decided to make the first step and approach him, breaking the distance between you. The closest you were getting, the more you noticed the pain in Bradley’s eyes that couldn’t look away from you. Stress was rising. Shit, what if he finally had gotten to the point where he knew he did nor need nor want you by his side ? You felt so small, only a feet away from him, and you couldn’t resign to make the last step now that he was so close.

“Hey…” You broke the silence in a murmur, with the sudden urgent need to flee back home. What were you fucking thinking ? Why a man such as Bradley would waste his time with you ? He who was one of the greatest pilots of the country, called on top secrets missions no one could know a single detail about.

He did not answer at first which made you swallow. And as you were ready to apologize profusely for coming there without telling him first, he closed the space between you by taking that one last damn step. Nothing could have come between you as he held you by the waist to squeeze you right onto his torso. Eyes on eyes, you finally noticed it was not pain that you had found in his, but tthat they were brightening of pure joy.

“You’re here…” He was smiling. A weak smile, but still enough for you to melt under his voice, touch and expression. And when he put one of his hands on your face, you thought you were ready to die right then and there, as he made sure you were real.

“I’m here.”

And without wasting any more minute (or second if you asked him), Rooster bent to crash his lips on yours, starting a feverish dance he had dreamt of practicing these last busy weeks. Four lips saying I love you in a language only them could comprehend. And it was not this sudden surprising public display of affection that made you stop that kiss. No, it was actually what you had ever hoped from him for years now, an undreamt step forward while you still couldn’t help but wonder what could have had happened during his mission for him to come back with his tail between his legs. Not that it was bothering you, but still you were worried. And that latter was what led you to break that heaven of a kiss.

“Hey…” In a sigh, you held his hands to try and reassure him, calm him, assuring him you weren’t going anywhere and he did not need to rush things right now, even after years of steps forward that resulted in going backwards.

“Marry me.” He did not seem to be on the same page as you.

You instantly frowned, thinking (hoping) you only had misheard. But for Rooster, what he had just told seemed like pure logic. Both of your hearts were racing now, but not for the same reasons.

“What ?” Your voice felt weaker now, so unsure. He had told you such bullshit, but never got to that point. This was by far his best clowning.

“Marry me.” He repeated, squeezing your hands a little more in his now, as his smile got bigger and bigger with the idea of actually doing it. “Marry me.”

You turned your head seeking for help (or hidden cameras at this point), but no one was looking at you, no one had heard the insanity that had just fell off his lips. You were alone facing his nonsense.

“I… Uhm…” Heat was rising right to your cheeks as you did not even remember how to speak. “Wh-why ?”

And as it was now obvious for him you were not on the same wavelength (how would that had been even possible anyway ?), the pilot kept his spirit up. Rooster got his hands off yours and put one on your waist, and the other behind your head so he could pull your body to his. Heart against heart for you to feel how sincere he was.

“Because I don’t want to be this man, sweetheart.” His voice was surprisingly calm and mature.

“Huh ? What are you talking about Brad, what man ?” You asked wrapping your arms around his waist, both happy to finally hear him say he wanted to change and afraid to imagine it was only adrenaline from his mission coming off and he’d be back on rejecting you next week.

Rooster left a kiss on the top of your head before putting his head up to look at Maverick, mix feelings growing inside of him. A heartache and a ball of heat rising in his stomach. Mav’ was already leaving the tarmac, hand in hand with Penny as Amelia was curiously looking all around her. Lost in his thoughts, he forgot to answer.

So you decided to detach from him, before following his gaze, and you caught the scene. “Oh…” Everything finally made sense. Rooster didn’t want to waste his life just as Maverick had done before him.

“Hey.” This time, it was not a comforting one. You were just trying to catch his attention. So as soon as he landed his eyes on yours again, it was your time to smile. A reassuring one, sweet and offering everything Bradley needed you to say. “I’ll marry you, Bradley. But just not right now.”

He just laughed at that, feeling a little dumb after hearing you say that as he literally thought about running to the city hall to get it done as soon as possible and not waste any more second not being with you. “But you promise ?” His voice was way more cracked than what he had expected it to be, betraying his fear to lose you if he couldn’t make you his right here right now.

You shrugged, putting your hand on his cheek as you started stroking one of his many scars there. “If you promise that you’ll be the best boyfriend ever first, than yes.”

His smile got wide again. Rooster gained so much confidence with that promise you’d just done. Only remained for him to prove how serious he wanted to get. He put his lips back on yours, and without even breaking the kiss, he assured “I promise.”

“See, you're never going to be this man.” you could barely say as his lips could not leave you anymore. But still you wanted to make that clear. Rooster was never like Maverick, and you'd make sure he'd never be.

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader #top gun #rooster #miles teller x reader #miles teller #bradley bradshaw x you #rooster x you #miles teller x you #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #top gun fic #top gun x reader

[antilocaprine]

hope its ok to use multiple of the questions for this ask game (if not just pick whichever!), but for Speechless: 1, 6, 13, and 15?

(Ask Game) (Speechless)

Anon, I love answering questions, so I'm absolutely delighted when I get to answer multiple questions in one ask.

1 What is your favorite thing about this fic? I think that's a tie between the characterization and the reception. I've worked at keeping the characterization as close as I can to canon in this fic far more than some of my other fics, since it takes place within the main timeline of the actual story. This means a lot of rewatching scenes, but it also means that everyone's voices are so close to the surface that sometimes I'll write out a whole conversation between the science team and it'll flow effortlessly. I guess research really is the best resource... And then the reception. This fic was supposed to be a quick little exercise, and due to the amount of comments and feedback I got on it, I decided to stretch it out and push it a bit. We were originally going to be doing vignettes, with a couple chapters before the amputation and a couple chapters after. Obviously, we're well past that. It just blows my mind that every time I post a chapter, over 200 emails go out alerting subscribers. That's crazy. Y'all are crazy and I love you so much.

6. Favorite line of narration Out of 40,000 words? Good gosh, I can't remember that many words... I do like playing with Gordon's internal voice and turning it into narration since he can't talk, so maybe something like this: "Gordon skidded to a halt and backpedaled as the startled squad opened fire. They landed a few hits, but nothing that penetrated the HEV suit. Still, the bullets scratched the paint, and for some reason, that made Gordon furious. What, the aliens weren’t enough? Now there were humans trying to kill him, too? He was a human. How dare they?"

13. Any post-cannon headcanons for this universe? We haven't gotten to the end yet, so I don't want to get spoilery. But I expect Tommy will keep naming his "pets" after weird drinks, long after Margarita and Tequila are forgotten.

15. Do you have a favorite comment on this fic? The first thing I think of is after the chapter that ended in the amputation scene, where a bunch of commenters collectively remembered that when you're just learning sign language, suddenly losing a hand is...bad. The comments were just a chorus of "Oh shit I forgot about that - how is he going to talk?!" (I was thrilled to discover that a lot of important signs like "help" and "hurt" were all two-handed signs, so taking away one of Gordon's hands meant that his ability to communicate had been hobbled, again. This poor dude just can't catch a break...)

#askbox #on anon #speechless fic #hlvrai #ask game #fanfic ask game #behind the scenes #cannot overstate how much the overwhelming feedback changed this fic #i was not expecting that in the slightest #still blows my mind #thank you this was fun!!

[foxymoxynoona]

You have so many different writing projects going on right now! Do you prefer to be writing lots of different stories at the same time or to focus only on a couple at once? How do you compartmentalize each set of characters/storylines to keep them all true to your vision? It seems like so many different personalities and dynamics to keep track of!

Oh geez I'm sorry this is so long.

When I was younger I worked on like a million things at once and never finished anything. Then I went through a phase where I just focused on mainly one thing, and anything else I started got abandoned, but that eventually led to burnout, so I did the "write a million things that never finish" thing again. My brain is always so full of ideas, it's really easy to go that path but it doesn't lead to me finishing anything so that's not great.

When I first started posting, I committed to two stories and really just focused on those two --I alternated them and posted a chapter a day for about three months. That was a crazy speed but it was fun! I felt like I could add a few more to the loop then so I started I think 3-4 stories after that , and since then I've settled into this cadence that seems to work best for me now, where I have like 3-5 things in actual progress at any given time and I rotate through them. I find it helps me take a step back and then return with fresh eyes and fresh mind each chapter after I've rotated through updating the other things, but not so much later that I've forgotten everything. I'm learning through trial and error that 5 active writing projects seems to be my sweet spot, so that's why I've paused some things until I finish others.

I do write down other things (story ideas, conversations that come to me for a chapter that isn't my foucs yet, etc.) during that time if they come to me even if my workload is full, so actually most of the things in my queue and planning columns on trello have at least a few paragraphs written. But I only let myself write as much as I feel really compelled to at the moment, make my notes, then resume working on the chapter I'm supposed to. It's like one foot in front of the other, I guess, rather than just chasing and then fizzling out with a too-bright burst of inspiration for one thing. And it creates a sort of nice feedback loop too I think, because every time I finish a chapter I can feel done and accomplished and move back to a fresh thing.

I guess it is a lot to mentally juggle but I actually haven't really struggled to keep them straight! I don't know, I think each story is just so unique and distinct in my mind, even when sometimes my stories are sort of different variations of a theme. The characters are distinct, even when it's multiple versions of JK or something. I do compare/contrast characters a lot against each other, so that might help them feel more like real people and not hazy blobs that can get mixed up. Some of the longer stories though, I do sometimes have to go back and search to confirm details. Occasionally a continuity error sneaks in ;)

Oh and it's uesful to know, I do have tons of planning and resouce docs to help keep things straight too. For every story I usually have some combo of the following:

Notes file: things to cover, important details to remember, links to resources, ideas that don't anywhere yet, questions to answer, etc.

Rough chapter outline

People file

Chronological timeline

Plus more detailed planning in the writing file itself

A posting file where I copy-paste the writing, edit it there, and then post that version

Hope that helps! I never know if it's interesting to know my process haha but I know I like hearing other people talk about theirs, so hopefully this was interesting!

#asks #anonymous #mywriting #writing tips #writing advice

[ghoste-catte]

I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

#answered #anonymous #writing advice #i guess? #am i qualified to give this? #no #but im doing it anyway

[taephilia]

lost (myself) & found (you)

pairing: jeon jungkook x gn!reader

genre: fluff, soulmate au, based off of kimi no na wa

warnings: one (1) swear word

word count: 2,120

a/n: i saw this quote from the movie and inspiration just struck and i haven't been able to get it out of my head since. ofc i wrote this for jungkook since he's a weeb and said he would also want to hear bells ring when he meets his soulmate <3 also this is not edited lol i'll come back to it later, i just wanted to get this out

"Once in a while when I wake up, I find myself crying. The dream I must’ve had I can never recall. But… the sensation that I’ve lost something, lingers for a long time after I wake up." - Tachibana Taki, Kimi No Na Wa (2016)

Jungkook isn’t sure how long he’s felt like this—felt like something is missing, something important, something that his heart just can’t seem to let go of even if his brain has already forgotten. He knows that he dreams of whatever it is. He recalls scenes as he goes about his day; a loud laugh here, a brush of a hand against his there. People that he’s never seen before walking by him in a city he’s never been to, music playing on the radio that he’s never heard, a family that he comes home to that he doesn’t recognize at all. It’s all very strange and Jungkook is starting to wonder if maybe the late night ramen he’s built up a habit of eating has gone bad or maybe the unhealthy amounts of salt in it are the cause behind this. Because it was all fun and games until Jungkook’s heart starts to ache, like it’s calling out to someone that his brain can’t even conjure up an image for. Someone that he would search the ends of the cosmos for, someone that, whenever he feels like he gets close to them, slips right through his fingers like grains of sand. But he shakes it off whenever the feeling comes and ignores the heavy feeling in his chest in favor of paying attention to that day’s classes. If he had somehow found his soulmate, it definitely wouldn’t be someone in his hometown in the countryside.

Soulmate. That’s who his grandfather had told him he’s been dreaming about ever since Jungkook confessed almost two months ago about the reason behind his ever-present furrowed brows and faraway look in his eyes. He says that it had happened to him when he was around Jungkook’s age but, like most dreams, he’s forgotten who it was. He then went on to talk about the red thread of fate and that’s when Jungkook started tuning out. It’s a nice concept to think about when you’re a child—a red string tied around your pinky that connects you to the person that you’re destined to be with—but it’s just a myth and Jungkook doesn’t have time to think about things that aren’t real. Not when he barely has the time to think about the things that are real, like college entrance exams and graduating from high school.

So he buries his head in his books and pours every last drop of blood, sweat, and tears into his studies to get into his dream college in Seoul. The yearning in his heart doesn’t go away but it’s eclipsed by the pure exhaustion that he feels at the end of every day. And, like most dreams, he forgets.

Jungkook is 23 when he seriously begins to wonder whether or not he’s going crazy. He had thought he was going over the deep end while in college but hearing bells go off? Now that takes the cake. It happens at random; he never knows when the bells in his head will ring (and Jungkook knows that only he can hear them because nobody around him ever gives any sort of indication that they’ve heard them) no matter how much he tries to prepare for it. He checks his surroundings every day, eyes scanning over the crowds of people weaving around him in Seoul, but it’s no use. The only consistent location that they seem to chime in is when he’s on the metro and even then, it’s on random days, at random times, and not always at the same stop.

He’s not the type to go chasing after fairy tales, or at least, he isn’t anymore. He doesn’t have time to think hard and long about what these imaginary bells could mean, not when he has a job to do and people to impress and money to be made. And his grandfather died during his second year of college so the only conversation of “soulmates” that occurs now are the ones he has with himself in his head and the memories of their conversations years ago. But as fate would have it, Jungkook took a couple of days off to get an early start to the weekend and he is just itching for an adventure. So when he hears the bells go off while he’s making his way to his connecting train, he closes his eyes for a brief moment and puts himself into the hands of fate.

Jungkook allows his feet to carry him where they want, observing his surroundings and keeping an eye out for any person who gives any sort of indication to hearing something that they shouldn’t be hearing. He climbs up the stairs and out of the station, not giving any attention to the people who side-eye him for standing still on a bustling sidewalk, but looks down at his hand instead. In particular, at his pinky, which feels like there’s something squeezing at it. Like… like a thread that’s been tied snugly around it.

The red thread of fate, a voice in his head whispers to him and Jungkook almost chuckles out loud at the thought. And then almost laughs out loud again because, although he doesn’t believe in soulmates, his actions say otherwise. Because as much as Jungkook doesn’t believe in soulmates… Well, the thought of them and the red thread of fate being real is nice, isn’t it? Someone that you’re destined to be with, connected to by a string that can tangle and stretch but will never fray, keeping you tied to them for all eternity. It’s a comforting thought, especially when he thinks of his extremely lacking love life that comes with his high standards and fear of rejection.

Jungkook passes by a bakery during his fate-led walk and just as he’s considering stopping in to buy something, he hears the bells again. A light sound, one that could be mistaken for a phone notification, but one that he knows very well. But Jungkook’s soulmate must be as used to the sound as he is because no one around him gives any sort of indication that they’re also in search of him. And after an hour and a half of walking around a part of the city that he isn’t too familiar with, he’s ready to call it quits for the night. So Jungkook makes his way to the nearest metro station and gets on a train home.

Of course, that’s when he hears the bells again.

He looks up from his phone and around the crowded train but nobody has been able to move since the doors closed. And if it were someone near him, he would have heard them before. There’s a flash out of the corner of his eye and when Jungkook looks up and out the window of the sliding doors, he sees a pair of eyes staring back. A pair of eyes that are not his but in fact belong to someone in a train traveling right next to his. They stare right at him and mirror his own when they widen at the exact same time as his. But just as soon as Jungkook finds you, he loses you just as quickly when your train goes in a different direction.

Jungkook spends the entire day the next day looking for you. He manages to cross off everything on his “things to do when I’m in Seoul” bucket list that he’s been adding on to for the past 10 years. His feet hurt, his wallet feels significantly lighter than when he first left his apartment, and he’s wondering how much weight he lost from walking what feels like the entire expanse of Seoul three times over. And even after all that, he hasn’t heard the bells. Not once.

And it’s at this point, when Jungkook decides to eat dinner at his favorite ramen shop before calling it a night, that he begins to wonder if he had missed his chance last night. Not like it was much of a chance considering the fact that you were on a different train and he had no way of getting to you. But fate is cruel, isn’t that what some people say? Maybe his thread is just so tangled, so frayed, that it’ll take a lifetime before he’s able to get another glimpse at you. And Jungkook just isn’t that patient.

He can barely even remember what you look like anymore. Maybe it’s the hunger eating away at his stomach and the aching of his feet but as he eats his ramen, he can only recall vague details about you. Like how he wants to drown in your eyes, how soft your skin looks even through two dirty train door windows, and how he thinks your shiny hair probably smells nice - like vanilla or peaches or something. But your face? Absolutely nothing. It’s like he blacked out the second he looked up at you last night.

Jungkook leans back in his seat as he sips at his water, staring out the window of the shop as if you would walk past right that second. But you don’t. So Jungkook throws a couple of bills down onto the table for a tip and heads out, a sigh leaving his lips when he looks around but doesn’t hear any bells. Now that he’s had a chance to sit down and eat, he feels a bit more rational and more determined to find you—but that can wait until tomorrow after he’s had a good night’s sleep. It’s a bit later in the evening so there’s barely anyone around him as he makes his way to the nearest metro station that will take him home. Jungkook is just about to descend the stairs when something makes him stop. He’s not really sure what it is that he stops for; the bus honking on the street beside him or the group of friends laughing as they walk by him? Or perhaps it’s the person at the bottom of the stairs, their eyes looking down as they climb up, but Jungkook just knows that it’s you.

Well, he doesn’t actually know. He’s pretty sure it’s you. It feels like it’s you. But is that fate talking or just his hopeful heart? Jungkook decides not to say anything and slowly walks down the stairs. The bells will tell him if he’s right. Your eyes glance up and meet his and Jungkook sees them widen, but like him, you don’t say anything. Are you waiting to hear your own bells?

He shoves his hands deep into the pocket of his hoodie, eyes quickly darting away from yours to stare holes into the ground as he keeps walking. His heart beats faster with every step and he has to resist the urge to just stare at you point blank because he needs to know and-

He hears the bells. And it’s like a weight is taken off of his shoulders.

But he keeps walking. And you keep walking. And now Jungkook is panicking because why the fuck is he still walking? You’re his soulmate, he found you, so why isn’t he stopping? Jungkook tries to get his feet to stop moving, to just turn around and call out to you but he can’t. What would he even say? ‘Hey, you’? He doesn’t even know your name. ‘I think you’re my soulmate’? How disgustingly cliche. What if you don’t even care that he’s your soulmate? What if you’re already seeing someone? What if he’s the only one that can hear the bells for you and you hear them for someone else? What if-

“Um, excuse me?”

Jungkook almost trips on the last step from how fast he turns around at the sound of your voice. His hands feel clammy but he keeps them in his pocket otherwise you’d be able to see how they’re shaking ever so slightly. He drags his eyes up to yours and suddenly, every bit of anxiety he felt is suddenly gone. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?

“Have we met before? You seem really familiar.”

You’re at the top of the stairs now but you step down a few steps, as if you want to get closer. Jungkook climbs back up a few steps because he does want to get closer. There’s an easy smile on his face as he says, “Found you.”

He isn’t sure where it came from. He isn’t even exactly sure what he means. But it feels like the right thing to say, like something that he’s vaguely remembering from a dream he had a long time ago. And judging from the matching smile on your own face, you know what Jungkook means.

“Took you long enough.”

#heartsforbts #kwritersworldnet #thebtswritersclub #ficscafe #jeon jungkook scenario #jeon jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts drabble #bts imagine #jeon jungkook drabble #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #bts au #jungkook au #jungkook scenario #kpop drabble #jungkook drabble #jungkook imagine

[julietnterein]

Bed time story

(n. r. x reader)

Warnings: Angst, mention of abuse, mention of rape

A/U: Hello! This is my very first Natasha Romanoff short story, if you would like me to write your prompt just hit me up! Hope you are going to enjoy this.

A snow was quietly falling on your porch, but that did not bother you at all. You loved the Winter season, you loved the Holidays and so did your small girl.

A small blond girl was putting away her last toy with a huge yawn on her face.

„Alright, dove, it's past your bedtime. Let's get you to bed.” You pick her up as the four year old raises her hands towards you. „You are getting heavier every day, I swear!” You tickle her a little as you are taking her upstairs to her room. She giggles while you are putting her into the bed, tucking her in and then kissing her forehead. You cross the room to put the small light into the socket.

„Wait, mama…” She stops you, knowing very well that light in the socket means sleepy time.

„What is it, dove?” You look at her with a small smile as you cross the room to her bed.

„What about a bedtime story?” She looks at you with large puppy eyes.

„It's already really late, Lia.” You check the clock in the hallway, which is showing something before quarter to ten.

„Pretty pleasee….” She begs you.

You roll your eyes. „Okay, okay...But scooch over, I'm not sitting on the floor this time.” You jump into her bed and let her snuggle up to you. „So which one are we telling today?”

„I want the one about the spy!” She exclaimed excitedly.

„Which one do you mean, dove?” You frown your brows, trying to remember which story it probably was.

„The one that had red hair!” She looks at you, almost hurt by your own words, that you could have forgotten about her favourite bedtime story.

You smile sadly at the small girl and nod. „I remember now.” You make yourself more comfortable in your daughter's bed. And as she snuggle up closer into your arms you are starting with the story, that is about a woman spy that was in love with a normal citizen, but this story has darker corners than you tell your daughter, this story is far far away from a love story and definitely does not end with a happy end like you tell your daughter.  

You used to work as a recruit for a S.H.I.E.L.D, not that you were going for missions and stuff, but you were dealing with the important paperwork. So you often did get into contact with the higher level agents and sometimes even with the infamous Natasha Romanoff or Clint Barton. Agent Barton was your favourite kind of agent, he was funny, he always asked how you were doing, he was the exact opposite of Romanoff. You did not take it personally, how could you? She was dealing with danger on a daily basis and you understand the last thing that would have concerned her was how was your day going. But you don't even know when it happened when she was bringing you the folders of reports from her mission with a smug smile on her face and she never forgot to wish you a nice day when she left your office. But it was just that, nothing else.

And when all the shit fell on your head and you were on your lowest point she was actually the one who noticed. She noticed that you were no longer having lunch with your colleagues, that you were no longer wishing everyone to have a great day and giving them the warmest smile. You started to fade.

A huge pile of papers suddenly falls onto your desk with a loud slap. You quickly jump in your seat, looking up at the smile of agent Romanoff, that just got back with her reports from her mission in Europe. There was an ugly bruise on her cheek and a gash wound on her forehead, but she was still smiling down at you, until she noticed how much your hands were shaking. „Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-...”

„It's alright, it's alright.” You quickly snap out, cutting her off in the middle of her sentence. „Thank you for the reports, agent. I will work it on it later.” You don't even look her in the eyes, as you can feel a stinging tear forming at the corner of your eye, so you turn on your computer, trying to look really busy.

She stays in your office for a bit longer that she should, taking all in your whole body language. She knew something was off, she just couldn't figure out what.

You were so glad when the clocks finally showed four in the afternoon and you had left your office and tried to get home quickly while the sun was still up.

No one knew what happened to you, when you stayed out longer than usual the last time. As you close the door behind yourself, you can feel the panic attack slowly building up, somewhere in your chest as your breath became shorter. You are quickly trying to think of the breath exercise your therapist told you about, but your thoughts are too far away now. There was no turning back this time. That's why you sit down on the floor, in the middle of hallway in your apartment, tears slowly streaming down your face and your breath having trouble producing the oxygen you need.

You were back. It was dark, but you could have seen the street lamps. You were out of breath, you were chased. But you knew you were almost home. It was just one block away, if you were a bit quicker, you could have been alright. But you ran into the trap, he outrun you. You were caught. Trapped like a mouse, unable to do something. He was just stronger and you had to wait, you were ruined. You stayed on the cold ground when he was done, unable to move, tears were streaming down your face, shaking.

There was a ring at your door, but you haven't heard it, because in that moment you are far far away in your thought, living the horrible moment over and over again. But what brought you back to reality was a key in your door, unlocking them. In that moment you were just staring at the door in horror, it had to be him, he came for you again, you thought.

The door slightly opened. „Y/N?” A quiet voice echoed through your apartment.

You were still too paralized to being able to answer, you just stared at the door when she opened them fully. „I found your spare key, I felt like checking up on-... Oh god, Y/N, are you okay?” She rushes right next to you, when she notices your small frame shaking on your own floor. „Did you fell? Are you hurt?” She checks your whole body, but you just shake your head, unable to speak out, because you knew you would start crying if you just try. „Okay, good, good… I'm so sorry that I barged in here like that, but I just felt something was off with you lately…” But she doesn't continue, she can see what state you are in, of course something is off, someone should have checked up on you a long time ago. „What happened?” She whispers into the dark. „Did someone… hurt you?” She asks carefully, but that question just brings more chills into your body and you are bursting out crying, falling into her arms, shaking. She doesn't ask anymore, she just holds you really close, strokes your hair and lets you cry through her shirt. „I've got you now. You are safe.” She repeats quietly over and over, until you don't have any more tears to shed and you have to tell her. So you do. You tell her everything, what he has done to you and that now you are carrying his baby. And she listens, she doesn't interrupt you, she holds your hand when you need her to. And then you cry again, finding more salty fluid in your eyes, that once again soaks her shirt through, until you fall asleep in her arms.

And after that night, she never really left, she was always around, she helped you heal. Even when she was gone on her missions, she made sure you had everything you needed, and as she was here for you, you were here for her, you were there after really bad missions with opened arms and baby bumps to snuggle to. At those nights you were the one who stroked her hair and let her fall asleep in your arms.

But all this got messed up really quickly again, you were almost due, when Thanos and the snap happened. And unfortunately for Natasha, you were snapped away.

And when you came back, everything you knew was gone. Natasha was gone. But this time you had no one's shirt to cry into. This time you were alone.

You had to run, everything around you was just too much, you saw her everywhere. Barton helped you move to Europe, even though you were due in a couple of weeks. He helped with everything, maybe he felt guilty, even though he never really told you what happened to her.

But then you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and she was no longer something that would remind you of the horrible events, she was just your little baby. And suddenly you weren't alone. And as she cried in your arms you whispered those words to her: „I've got you now. You are safe.”

But this story wasn't for your daughters ears, not yet. She will know one day, but this time the story end well. And you whisper: „And they lived happily ever after.” You look down at the sleeping blond girl. You have to be really careful when you are getting up, trying not to wake her up. Then you tuck her in and kiss her forehead: „Goodnight, my sweet, Natalia.”

#natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel #avengers x reader #Scarlett johansson #Scarlett Johansson x reader #y/n #natasha romanoff x y/n

[fatehbaz]

Ah man I'm so glad you made that post about ski resorts and racism, I never see content about the effects of ski resorts on the land. Keeping jumbo wild was a huge W and I was so glad to see it, and I hope it puts pressure on the people trying to push zincton through. I actually haven't heard much abt the zincton project lately, do you know of any updates? Thanks again for the content, so rarely hear other voices online from the inland temperate rainforest

Hey, thank you so much for the message. I know you’re also a fan of the region. Glad you saw that post and said something to me. :)

Yes, there has been some new media coverage of Zincton as of November 2020. And can I use this as an opportunity to say a couple of things about this rainforest? Sorry in advance for rambling and all of this text.

Right? The downfall of the Jumbo project was uplifting. Ski resorts obviously (like many “parks” in US and Canada) involve Indigenous dispossession and obscuring/erasure of histories and lives. (Details from that article: US sky resort visitors are 88% white, and half make over $100 thousand a year.)  As for voices from the inland temperate rainforest: Gotta mention that the province of BC goes to such great lengths to silence the voices of the Sinixt people, declared “extinct” by the Canadian government and whose traditional territory includes much of the inland temperate rainforest (between 2016 and 2020, BC has fought against the Sinixt and their request for recognition, appealing every ruling, culminating in an October 2020 Supreme Court hearing). BC institutions like to claim the inland temperate rainforest as a “treasure” or “prize”, a “globally-unqiue” ecosystem, as a sort of entitlement or patrimony; meanwhile, the province of BC legally fights the Sinixt in court, ignores the caribou extinction, and still issues dozens of logging/timber and clear-cut contracts in the inland temperate rainforest each year. That said, the end of Jumbo was good news.

For anyone unfamiliar: Jumbo was a ski resort mega-development project planned for the Purcell Wilderness on Ktunaxa traditional territory right in the heart of the inland temperate rainforest region of interior so-called British Columbia, in old-growth cedar-hemlock forest, on the edge of glaciers, and in the middle of key habitat of southern mountain caribou, grizzly, wolverine, mountain lion, lynx, wolf, elk, mountain goat, marten, fisher, etc. The Glacier Resorts-owned project would’ve been “the single largest ski resort in North America” including a “resort base” of at least 110 hectares, a hotel with over 5,500 beds, and an expectation of over 3,000 visitors a day. The Ktunaxa had opposed the project since 1991, and took a case to federal Supreme Court. In January 2020, the Ktunaxa were able to buy-out the project, and the Jumbo area will now be managed as a formal Indigenous Protected Area.

The new Zincton resort is also being built on Ktunaxa and Sinixt land, about 70 kilometers away from the former Jumbo resort site.

Traditional territories:

And yes, there are some updates on Zincton from November 2020.

@moss-effect -- I know that you already know this stuff. But for anyone unfamiliar:

The Zincton resort is being constructed only about 70-ish kilometers or so away from where the Jumbo resort was planned. Zincton is also on Ktunaxa territory, as well as traditional land of the Sinixt. Zincton (being built near Valhalla and Goat Range, between Naksup and Kaslo) expects a “grand opening” in December 2021. The project is run by the owner/founder of a local outfitter/recreation company. As of November 2020, BC’s Mountain Resorts Branch is still reviewing the owner’s formal proposal. Zincton sits closer to even more extensive old-growth forest and major protected areas.

Zincton also seems to be a manifestation of that now-classic category: “progressive” settler-colonial entrepreneurs from coastal BC, the Pacific Northwest, and/or Rocky Mountain West are familiar with local rhetoric and therefore elude criticism by rebranding their extractive and development projects as “eco-friendly”. According to The Narwhal (November 2020) the owner/project leader had this to say about the project: “There is a real story here of a proven disruptor facing down the mob to do one last project for the kids and grandkids. … Jobs for locals, a future for families, saving the hospital. Zincton is the Tesla of the ski village business.”

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Also, for context: Here’s a post I made about the inland temperate rainforest, its ecology/geography, and its endemic creatures. Here’s a post from June 2020 about the Zincton resort development. Here’s a compilation post with news/timeline/summary and maps describing the extinction of southern mountain caribou in 2019 (southern mountain caribou are a local icon, completely endemic to this region, and are highly endangered; caribou were declared extinct in the contiguous United States in 2019 when the last of the southern mountain caribou were relocated farther north to BC). Here’s a compilation post with news/timeline following the Sinixt case to receive formal recognition from BC/Canada in 2019 and 2020 (much of the rainforest, including the Zincton site, is within Sinixt traditional territory; the Canadian government declared the Sinixt “extinct” in the 1950s).

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Location of core cedar-hemlock forest of inland temperate rainforest region, compared with distribution range of the southern mountain caribou:

Photos I took of stream habitat in inland temperate rainforest:

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Coincidentally, just a couple of days ago, The Narwhal just released an “explainer” dedicated to the Zincton: Paul Fischer. “Why B.C.’s Zincton resort, the proposed ‘Tesla of ski villages,’ is worrying conservationists.” The Narwhal. 27 November 2020.

Zincton claims that it is a “radical departure from the status quo” and will be a “carbon-zero” resort. But local groups oppose the project, including Wildsight, West Kootenay Eco Society, and locally-famous Valhalla Wilderness Society. (The core of the inland temperate rainforest is sometimes referred to as “Valhalla” or “Caribou Rainforest”.) The project also claims that the resort’s focus on so-called “eco-tourism” is a good way to “grow and replace economic decline,” which you might perceive to be a settler-colonial interpretation of the “value” of the forest and also suggests that the concern here is, of course, making money. From Fischer’s article: ‘In a series of emails with The Narwhal, Harley [the project leader] dismissed environmental concerns. He said impacted grizzly habitats are low quality and categorized the criticism from certain environmental groups as a “copy and paste” campaign motivated by a desire to oppose everything rather than contribute constructively.’

These quotes can be found in the article:

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Here’s some other stuff:

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Headlines from the Jumbo resort news:

The Sinixt case:

Southern mountain caribou herd decline in the inland temperate rainforest between 1990 and 2018. The Zincton resort will directly affect Purcells South, Central Selkirks, and South Selkirks herd.

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And I want to say that both the Ktunaxa and Sinixt people have recently been undermined, insulted, and dispossessed by BC and development projects in similar ways. Media, educational material, and conservation groups in BC like to point out that the inland temperate rainforest is “globally-unique” (in that it’s really the planet’s only sizable “coastal-type temperate rainforest” existing inland and away from a coast). And you’ll see the inland temperate rainforest described with terms like: prized, treasure, gem, hidden/secret rainforest, etc. And the region is discussed in settler-colonial terms/concepts (”BC’s forgotten rainforest,” “BC’s other rainforest”, “a magnificent carbon cache”, “unparalleled resource”) as if it is the patrimony of the province of BC or Canadian state. Which of course is problematic because it (1) associates the forest’s importance with bioprospecting/scientific extractivism, carbon sequestration, or other metrics of settler-colonial “value,” and also because (2) the province of BC continues to fight very hard against recognizing the land as part of Sinixt territory (after Sinixt people and allies were able to win cases against BC, the province continued to appeal, and this case has now culminated in the October 2020 hearing at the federal Supreme Court, which will soon make a final ruling on whether or not Sinixt people are legally allowed land rights to harvest, travel, etc. within BC).

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Here’s a map:

From 2018, there is this book:

In the US, too, parks, like ski resorts, are implicated in Indigenous dispossession.

Glacier National Park (at the border of BC, Alberta, and Montana) sits on the edge of the Kootenay and inland temperate rainforest regions. Conservation groups, universities, and other US institutions have taken to calling Glacier part of “the Crown of the Continent” (another possessive/patrimonial term maybe?), a portion of the heavily-glaciated Canadian Rockies that kinda includes Banff and Jasper, too. Glacier National Park is on Ktunaxa and Blackfeet territory. A recently published book that might be interesting: People Before the Park: The Kootenai and Blackfeet Before Glacier National Park. Sally Thompson, Kootenai Cultural Committee, and Piikuni Traditional Association. 2015

Described by Montana Public Radio in 2017: “Step [...] into the world of the Kootenai and Blackfeet peoples, whose traditional territories included the area that is now Glacier National Park. [...] In this book, the Kootenai and Blackfeet tribes share their traditions -- stories and legends, foodways and hunting techniques, games and spiritual beliefs.”

Just a special place.

Thank you for saying something.

[ms-march]

LBL Drabble: Treacherous

Happy Valentines day everyone! I haven't had the chance to edit the next chapter of lbl yet, unfortunately, but here is a piece I wrote mostly over the summer of canon era thadrienne instead! It is a bit sad, but it is completed and edited and I can't NOT post something for my favorite couple in the whole wide world on valentine's day. I've found that any thadrienne is always the answer to everything so,,,, On that same note, this is the second of my winter encampment of 1779 (Morristown, NJ) pieces that I've posted as drabbles so far and I hope I'm not spoiling too much. This piece also includes some Thaddeus and Eliza romance happening so there is certainly drama... anyways, please make sure to share the love! if you like it, please give it a like, comment, and/or, reblog!

The party was lovely.

Truly, Adrienne did not expect it to be such a beautiful fété, all things considered.

It appeared as though about half of the army’s officers were in attendance with their wives and their daughters blended right into Morristown’s own group of debutantes. General’s wives graced the room, and debutantes stole the eye of every man with an eye to steal, and it was lovely.

Truly, it was.

That was not the reason Adrienne found herself alone in the garden of the gorgeous house of the ball’s host, allowing the winter wind to whip at her pale skin, turning her cheeks and nose pink with its cold temperature. She had not grabbed her cloak from the valet at the door. Adrienne found she did not want it as she made her way to the back of the house with the dark blush tint to the pitch-black sky as it was lit up by the moon, the only light to illuminate her path.

The party was lovely. If Adrienne had to guess, she would say half of the city’s officers were in attendance, but she was far more comfortable with none but the dark blue sky dotted with stars and the moon that illuminated it for company. It was far better than simply sitting at the side of the ballroom, blending into the upholstery of a chair as though Adrienne were not present at all.

Such a thing was unheard of to Adrienne. She had never once been overlooked before and found she did not know what to do.

Her husband was back inside, sitting in a game of cards with some men he knew.

Her husband was an excellent dancer. Adrienne only wished he would dance with her. He made it clear he would not before they even arrived at the house of their host for the evening.

The carriage was a bit chilly, even amongst her lined cloak and fur, which she reached for as they shifted across her silks when the carriage encountered a minor bump in the road.

“Will you not, at the very least, humor me with a single dance?”

It was only a decent thing to do. Adrienne did not ask much from her husband, and a single dance was not too tasking— in her opinion.

“No,” her husband replied, eyes focused on the little spot of light seeping in through the closed curtain to his left, not even looking at her as he spoke. “I have already told you this. My mind has not changed.”

He was so indifferent to her.

Oftentimes she forgot that he was the one to ask her here, not the other way around. He was so indifferent to her that even when she was dressed to be admired, he ignored her.

“I do not see how you cannot find time for a single dance this evening-“

Adrienne did not think she asked very much of her husband. She certainly did not think she was asking too much by requesting a single dance, but, unfortunately, the Lieutenant Colonel did not see it that way.

“I said no.” was all he replied, dazed and hard, leaving no room for argument or further conversation. “Do not make me repeat myself once more.”

All she had wanted from him was a dance— a handful of minutes from him— but Adrienne had forgotten the most important thing in their marriage. It was built off of common courtesy, not love.

The moment they had arrived, her husband had abandoned her to talk, smoke, play cards, do basically anything he could think of so that he might avoid her for the evening. That was precisely how she ended up sitting alone in a chair on the side of the ballroom for the past hour and a half, treated as though she were not even there by everyone around her.

Half the army’s officers were just inside the house with their wives.

The wives of generals and the like, not the wives of Colonels.

Half the army’s officers were just inside the house with their daughters.

Unmarried daughters that blended right into the town’s own debutantes, each one stealing the eye of every man who had one to be taken.

Adrienne was the wife of an honorary Lieutenant Colonel. She had no friends here, only her husband who had thus far abandoned her.

Would it be rude to leave now?

To get in the carriage alone and return to the Cochran house, send it back before John could even realize she was gone— if he ever even did.

Yes, it would be rude.

It would be rude, but Adrienne could not bear to suffer a moment longer alone in that chair. So, there she was in the garden alone with nothing but the moon and the stars for company.

Adrienne supposed she should be glad that she did not bother to wear a brand new dress for this. However could she justify such a thing? A brand new gown all for her to what? Sit on the side of a ballroom as if she were invisible?

These were the thoughts that muddled her head as a distraction from the true reason for her sudden flight to the abandoned garden.

Though she would never admit to such a thing, Adrienne had fled because of her.

She had fled because she could not bear to see him dance with her as though Adrienne had not spent the whole evening glued to a chair. Perhaps he had not even noticed her there. She could not blame the man. The woman he danced with was far more enchanting than Adrienne could ever hope to be— at least anymore. She was beautiful, and she was kind. Adrienne could not find a singular fault with her— and one could trust that it was not for lack of attempt. She was precisely what he deserved, and Adrienne wanted him to have that.

She knew she wanted him to have that, so why could she not let him?

Why did every bone in her body want her to tear whatever they had apart? Why could not be as selfless as Elizabeth Schuyler and let him go? Why must Adrienne be such a selfish and conceited creature?

Adrienne had come to Morristown because she wished to play with fire and compare Eliza to herself, but it quickly turned the other way around. Adrienne constantly found that she was comparing herself to Miss Schuyler and she hated it.

She hated it because how on earth was she to compare?

Adrienne could see instantly why Thaddeus had chosen her. How could he not? She is everything that he deserved and more. She is everything he wanted, and Adrienne could never hope to compare. Adrienne should not hope to compare. She is not a blushing debutante anymore, not the diamond of first water she had been for so long, but rather a married woman. A married woman with a child.

Adrienne had a husband, one she ought to practice faithfulness to by forgetting whatever she had imagined between herself and the Colonel. She had a son to raise and care for, she could not trouble herself with spending a whole afternoon readying herself for a ball. Adrienne is not available to be courted, but Elizabeth Schuyler is. It did not matter that Adrienne was 3 years younger than her, Adrienne is as good as gone when it came to such things. The simple fact reminded that Adrienne is married with an heir— fulfilling her purpose to those around her— and Elizabeth Schuyler is a beautiful debutante to be courted and admired.

Unfortunately, her treacherous heart did not care for this fact. Every time a letter arrived to the Cochran’s door or a bouquet of flowers appeared, Adrienne had to excuse herself before she did something she would regret, a deep nausea settling in her stomach. Every time she saw those usual signs of courtship and affection her heart pulled on itself, reminding her of what she would never have.

Reminding her of all her flaws every time she passed by them.

Reminding her of a wasted youth and the lack of love in her own life every time they arrived.

Sometimes Adrienne wishes that she could have something to look forward to when she hears a knock on the door, but what has she to look towards? Adrienne never received flowers from the man who is now her husband— dear god, she had not even received a letter from the man since before the birth of their son.

That does not mean she did not enjoy pretending otherwise. Sometimes, foolish as it is, she would purchase flowers for herself at Belvoir so that she could wake to flowers by her bedside, and sometimes she would pretend that they were from her husband. It is a willing ignorance, but it is far better than the realistic situation of her marriage. It would do her no good to hold her desire to be loved in return for her love over her husband who did not even wish to have her in the first place. It is a recipe for disaster to pressure him too much, to make too many demands of him. So Adrienne must make do. It is the reason she had bent to his wish not to grace the dance floor this evening.

And now, she found herself in her white floral printed silk gown perusing through a decently sized and unfamiliar garden behind a house in Morristown. Alone, as had become usual. Adrienne did take a moment to relish in the silence of it all, her heels upon the brick pavers the only sound that could be heard clearly over the muffled sound of violins, harps, and a harpsichord and the general chatter of the party she was supposed to be attending.

It was a beautifully constructed distraction, and it almost worked perfectly.

Adrienne rose from the bench she had perched herself on to continue through the garden, only this time when she rose, hers were not the only footsteps to be heard on the brick pathway.

It was a miserable thing to do, to be at a party with someone and remain ignored in a chair for its whole duration, but it was not the worst of the evening’s occurrences. No, that belonged to the sight in front of her, just hardly obstructed by the sparse spread of men that still remained around the dance floor rather than on it.

The sight of her Polish Colonel dancing the allemande with Miss Elizabeth Schuyler.

It was the last straw of embarrassment for Adrienne, who about halfway through the dance she and he had performed with her at her 18th birthday party, got up from her chair and left without a single person in the room batting an eye. She did not wish to bother John in the cards room, nor did she have gall enough to join those in the parlor, so Adrienne decided to make her way to the gardens where she could be alone in peace rather than be in the misery that is being alone in a crowded room full of people.

The moment she decided to leave Adrienne did not even attempt to glance once more to the dance floor. If she had, then she would have noticed the soft brown eyes that tenderly followed her out of the room and down the back steps. If she had been paying better attention she would have noticed that the song had long since ended as she strolled about the gardens.

Perhaps if she had done so, the warm hand that now firmly held her arm would not have surprised her so very much.

“Adrienne,” Thaddeus spoke, his lips quivering as though he wished to say more, even as he declined to do so.

His hands had always been warm, but they were so very warm now as one firmly clasped itself onto her arm giving little intention of letting her go. The hand on her arms so deeply contrasts the cold wind as it whispers at her skin, forcing her eyes and body to be drawn to the warm hand. Adrienne had stepped towards the man without giving her feet the consent to do such a thing and she was standing in dangerous territory.

She could kiss him at this distance.

She was in treacherous territory indeed.

“Come back inside,” he finally continued, those same brown eyes looking at her with a softness that mirrored his tone. “You will catch your death out here in this cold,” he took a step towards her— right into treacherous territory, mind you— “or worse.”

He was right and she knew it. She may be married, but Adrienne was still an unaccompanied woman making her way through a garden that was thoroughly darkened by the night, all without even notifying someone of her fancy for such a stroll.

Anything could happen to a lady in such conditions, and Adrienne did have to admit that she was rather foolish in her notions, however sorely they had been needed. His first concern struck her hard, not because she feared a cold— Adrienne is a grown woman, she can surely handle that— but the young little babe who she loves so very much could not, and it would torture her to see him so very put out.

Oh, how very much she hated the idea of him being right.

Nevertheless, her feet remained glued to their spot, even as all her logic told her to follow his instructions— the very least she should do is grab her cloak and inform John of her whereabouts— but her feet refused to budge as he made himself a half of a step closer to her.

Treacherous territory.

“Please,” he begged her— he ought to know she couldn’t force herself away from him like that, and he had at one time— “for the babe’s sake. For John's sake.”

Of course he would. After all, Thaddeus is and always has been the perfect gentleman. He is courting— properly, publicly, courting with flowers and letters and visits and all— a different woman, what use has he to associate himself on such terms with a married woman?

“And that is all?”

Adrienne regretted speaking the moment she uttered the question, the Polish Colonel was the perfect gentleman even though she were far from a perfect lady. It did not make the fall of her heart from its usual position in her chest to the pit of her stomach any less severe, however. It was foolish of her, but his own separation of them through such words stung her most terribly.

He did not pick up on this, however, furrowing his brow at her in confusion. He had clearly not expected such a thing, likely expecting her to use her good sense and heed his words, but that was not what he received. It was so painfully obvious as he spoke, asking her of what she might be referring to as politely as he could.

Adrienne took in a shaky breath that rattled in her chest before she spoke, averting her eyes to focus on positively anything but him, “There was once a time— perhaps it is long since forgotten now— when such cares would have been expressed for your sake as well.”

He froze, as any man would do, and Adrienne wished nothing more than to be consumed by a nearby shrub from her embarrassment at his apathetic response to her outburst. Now it was Thaddeus’s turn to rattle a breath from his chest as he replied.

“Adrienne…you must know what you ask of me is impossible,” he pleaded, soft eyes capturing her own as he did not take a single step back from her, nor remove his hand from her arm, “I can’t- I cannot do it, Adrienne.” He did not let her speak, it was not as though she could utter a word anyway. As he continued his face and his tone shifted to the sound of a pain so honest and true Adrienne felt it in herself as he spoke. “It is cruel. It is impossible, and it hurts…and to ask it of me is cruel.”

“Which is why I did not ask it!” She exclaimed in response, his resounding pain evident in her tone.

When did she ask him for what he refers to? When has she not respected his choices? And worse, how dare he blame her for his own inability to ignore her as he ought?

“Why do you think that I forced myself here tonight!” It was not a question as she exclaimed it, distress evident in her voice. She was trying— oh god, she was trying so hard— to give him his space, to force herself from the youth and vanity that allowed such feelings as those she holds for him to be formed in the first place. But it was just as impossible and painful as keeping him all to herself as she wished.

Adrienne had come all the way to Morristown with a newborn child, but not to see her husband. No, she came to see her, Miss Elizabeth Schuyler. She had come to tear her down to pieces and found herself incapable of such a thing upon meeting the woman.

She was everything that he deserved and more and Adrienne couldn’t help but want him to have her. She could not help wanting to get out of his way, even though it hurts her so immensely to do so.

Elizabeth Schuyler is everything Adrienne has strived to be.

Perfect.

Perfect for him.

Adrienne was not quite done with this oddly vulnerable little rant of hers. No, she had to say it aloud first.

“She is-” Adrienne stopped to breathe in a sharp and shaky breath before continuing, “Oh god, she is everything! She is everything that I am not and never could be and you deserve that.” Adrienne stopped to breathe in quickly once more, finally spewing the last bit out, preferring to put her pride aside for honesty for once in her life, “You deserve that and I want to give it to you so badly.”

There was a pause between them, but it was far from peaceful. It was filled with Adrienne’s own inner turmoil and the whole time Thaddeus simply stood there and didn’t say a word, just stood there looking at her as silent as can be.

“…Adrienne-”

Suddenly she wished for nothing but to return to that terrible silence because hearing him call her by the name she had given him that winter evening in the Rush’s back parlor hurt so much more.

“Please,” she pleaded with him, aware she nearly appeared hysterical as she did so, “Please call me by my formal. Call me Lady Fairfax— or” she gasped for air and a breath shuttered through her as she continued quickly, “or Mrs. Laurens if you must— but dear god don’t call me that or I will forget myself and take something so selfishly from you that I am afraid I will never be able to give back.”

And he just looked at her. Oh god, he just looked at her in the most heartbreaking way for what felt like minutes but passed in seconds before he continued hesitantly, “then you- you will step back.” It was not a question, nor should it have been. She would step back. She has no other choice, but her actions spoke little to her sentiments.

Her feet remained firmly glued in place.

Just close enough to kiss him.

Treacherous territory indeed.

Instead, Adrienne breathed in carefully, taking a deep breath before she nodded, affirming his statement. “I will,” she affirmed, “And furthermore, I will try my very best to pretend none but courtesy with you going forth. Colonel.”

“Brigadier General,” he corrected, drawing her curious eyes to face him for the first time in nearly the whole conversation.

“Pardon?”

He smiled bashfully, bringing a hand up to rub at his neck as he verified, “It is Brigadier General now.”

There was a pause as she nodded, a little ‘oh’ quietly escaping her lips rather than a congratulations. Another pause followed before Adrienne took another deep breath, shifting her body away from him quite suddenly so he was not in her line of sight at all. “Good,” she nodded as if she were convincing herself rather than speaking to him, “Yes, that is quite good. I shall let her have her Brigadier General.” Adrienne turned back around with equal suddenness as when she had turned away, which sent her reeling as she realized that despite her stepping away from him, creating distance, he had moved somehow even closer to her.

Treacherous territory that Adrienne could not afford to be in.

She did her best to gather herself once more, a watery smile looking up at him as she spoke directly to him, “I will simply have to cherish my colonel.”

She moved to walk away, the wateriness of her smile making its way to her eyes as she resigned herself to her husband—to a Colonel—and tucked the memory of her Thaddeus away firmly from her mind. She could cherish that Colonel forever.

“Adrienne,” he had moved towards her once more as she attempted to walk away from him, making her way back through the gardens, grabbing her forearm as he did so.

Adrienne took in her millionth shaky breath, inhaling sharply as if gasping at the warmth of his had on her bare skin once more. “Please-“

“Take it,” Thaddeus said, rather impulsively, a hint of desperation in his voice, pulling her eyes slowly to meet him, “Take whatever it is that you will do greatly regret.” There was a pause between them as Adrienne assessed it all. She could not tidily lock him away from her heart and mind if she allowed herself this indulgence.

She should not even consider such a thing, imagine if Miss Schuyler were to come looking for her dance partner or her husband for his wife. The former was far more likely than the latter, but they had to be considered. Adrienne’s husband’s affinity for dueling had nearly sent her into early labor once and she would do well to not remember the first of his duels she ever witnessed. Yet another against Thaddeus of all people would destroy her, let alone any notion of standing or contentedness in marriage.

And Miss Schuyler—dear lord, what would Miss Schuyler think of her? The girl was staying in the same house as Adrienne, the two could hardly avoid each other and most certainly could not avoid the topic of what had put Eliza so very put out, seeing as the girl wore her emotions so clearly they might as well have been an elaborate and expensive brooch to be proudly displayed. It was a recipe for disaster.

He spoke once more, dropping his head a bit for those soft brown eyes to find her bluish-grey ones, his tone pleading with her as he did so. “Please.”

But how could she say no? How could Adrienne, at this distance, possibly refuse him? The answer was she could not. She simply did not have such strength in her, and if she did not now, she might spend twice the amount of the time wishing she had. No, if there was any hope of Adrienne stepping back she would have to confront it.

She turned away quickly, hiding her face from him before whipping back around and grabbing his uniform jacket by its fastening, pulling Thaddeus down to kiss her. He let out a muffled exclamation, likely of shock before he sunk into the kiss, forcing it from Adrienne’s aggressive nature to one much softer. He placed a hand on her back, forcing her closer to him, so close that there was not a single amount of space between them as he kissed her for what felt like ages.

It was kind of thrilling.

More importantly, it was quite treacherous indeed.

#lbl #luck be a lady #thadrienne #thaddeus kosciuszko #adrienne fairfax #lady Adrienne fairfax #elizabeth schuyler #eliza schuyler #john laurens #historical john laurens #amrev #American Revolution #turn amc #turn: washington's spies #turn washington’s spies #fanfic #fanfiction #drabbles and prompts #1779 winter encampment #Hamilton #morristown #turn fanfiction #turn fanfic #valentines day

[ssa-steverogers]

𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙨

pairing ╏ aaron hotchner x female!reader

word count ╏ 2.4k

summary ╏ a couple years have passed, and aaron and reader begin to question their status; inspired by two ghosts by harry styles

warnings ╏ none (?) please tell me if i missed anything x

note ╏ guys. i haven't written fanfics for like three years!1!!1!1! so i apologize in advance for any mistakes and grammar errors! i do hope you enjoy though! and also for the sake of the fic, jack and haley don't exist sorry guys lol and the ending is kind of bonk bonk but leave a like, comment, or reblog if you want! <3

I couldn’t pick up the phone. I sat back on the chair in the apartment we bought a couple years ago. But it tasted bittersweet just thinking about it; something I was supposed to cherish but couldn’t. The two plates of food on the table were now dull. What was once smoking and bled with heat was now encrusted in a dry film; unappetizing.

The phone continued to ring. Once. Twice. A pause. Once. Twice. Three times. But after the eleventh call, I figured he stopped. Aaron had forgotten his key that morning. It's almost humorous how he could tell the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath in his sleep but forgot the simplest things like our house key. And our fifth anniversary.

Earlier today, I had asked Aaron to go home early. But even after five years of marriage, eight of living together, and ten of dating, he couldn’t seem to care less of my whereabouts lately. Distracted, distant, and rigid.

“Hotch,” I swung into his dimly lit office earlier that day, “I'm going to be headed home early tonight. I-“

“Alright, see you at home,” Aaron continued writing his paperwork and took half a second to glance up at me. It’s unclear if he meant to cut me off or not but it didn’t matter because it would’ve hurt either way. Distant, I thought. A quick look at his office and nothing would’ve seemed different but I thought I saw more clutter than usual.

“Okay, well... I’ll see you tonight. Don’t be late!” I tried to look past it, for now. I blew a kiss his way and he looked up to smile at me briefly. The smile reached his eyes but I couldn't tell if it was genuine. His pen didn’t stop writing. Distracted, I thought. “Bye, I love you,” I breathed out and quickly shut the door, walking out to gather my stuff. I didn’t wait for his reply; unsure if he even had one. I wondered what he’d say. And if it’d hurt more than what his words didn’t say.

Looking at my watch on the way to my desk, it was half past four and it was clear to say that no one was done with paperwork yet.

“Where are you going?” Spencer questions, catching Emily’s attention. She looks up from her pile of work as well.

“Well, things to do and places to be,” I smiled at the two, putting my tablet into my bag. I grabbed my gun from my drawer and put it to my holster. Emily smiled knowingly. She knew it was me and Aaron’s fifth anniversary. Emily even helped pick out the perfect outfit for tonight’s homemade dinner. She also knew about Aaron’s behavior lately. We both thought of it and we discussed every scenario except the worst one yet. He wouldn’t do that to me, I would think to myself, not after what Haley did to him. It was the unspoken what if that I wasn't ready to swallow yet.

Emily and Spencer waved me goodbye and she wished me good luck, along with a smile that was poisoned in pity. I was almost entirely sure it wasn’t on purpose but I wasn’t sure of anything at that point. I walked out the door, into the elevator, and it felt so repetitive. The same elevator every day, the same building every day, living the same life every single day. I’d casually mention to Aaron how the repetition felt like a lot sometimes over paperwork in our office at home and he’d hum quietly. Maybe in agreement. We both loved our job. The same thing every time; but we were saving lives. Maybe it was the effect of his changed behavior. Maybe he felt it because he thought my behavior changed as well.

The same thing every time; coming home separately, even though we used to come back together. We were drifting and although it wasn’t the first time, we always resolved it. Things happen and we’d come out stronger and I had never had a doubt. Sometimes the job was hard and I was there for him, and he was there for me but it was different this time. He'd come home late and I'd be asleep by the time he got back. Then, I started to do paperwork at the local coffee shop and he’d be sitting in our office, waiting for me to get back.

No words would be exchanged once we were together for the night. Maybe a ‘hey’ or ‘how was your day?’ and then a simple ‘good.’ We’d both change our clothes and get into the bed. We were getting further and further away every night in bed. Too exhausted to think of words for this odd place we were in. Sometimes he'd hug me and take a deep breath and I'd release a breath I didn't know I was holding. Something was just not working this time. Trust your gut, Aaron used to say to me when I first joined the BAU. My gut told me that this couldn’t keep on going at the rate this seemed to be deteriorating.

All these moments led to right now. The phone rings beside me as Aaron waits outside in the drizzling rain at eight o’clock, without the key that he forgot this morning. I unlocked my phone to read the messages exchanged earlier tonight.

today 7:40

y/n: hey aaron are you still at the office?

love: Yes, is there something going on?

y/n: aaron

love: Yes?

y/n: oh you forgot, didn’t you?

love: Forgot?

y/n: aaron, it’s our anniversary?

read 7:46

I purse my lips and wonder if he still loves me. Of course, he does, my mind wanders, would he have been with you for ten years if he didn’t? I chuckle sadly. The food on the table now cold, the outfit Emily and I chose doesn’t seem so perfect anymore. The candles on the tables nearly half melted. The dining room looked eerie now, sitting by myself on a Thursday night with two uneaten plates of food with candles nearly burnt out.

That’s when I hear him knocking on the door gently.

“Y/N? Please let me in. I didn't forget, I just,” Aaron’s sigh is muffled by the door but I hear it clear as day when I get out of my seat and walk up to the door. I think he hears me walking to the front and continues. “I was distracted. Something isn’t right between us right now and we should talk about it. I’m sorry, Y/N, please let me in so we can talk.” I sigh in defeat and unlock the door, slowly. The door opens and his hair is flat from the rain, briefcase tucked under his arm with his phone in the other hand. But his posture isn’t as upright as it usually is – he probably knows he fucked up. I wonder if he’s been profiling me from my texts, or my current body language even though we promised we wouldn’t do that to each other.

He walks through the threshold of this house but his eyes don’t waver from mine as he sets his stuff down and puts his gun away in the drawer. A glimmer of his keys reflects the light in the drawer. It’s almost funny, how he remembers his gun but not his keys even though they were in the exact same place. It makes me wonder about the integrity of our situation and if he had left the keys on purpose.

I walk to the dining table with the food I made and turn away from Aaron. I’m not sure about what to say. I've obviously been avoiding this conversation for quite some time and even after all this procrastination; I still don’t even know what to say. I hear Aaron's footsteps from behind me and I wait to see if he has anything to say. After I'm sure that he doesn’t, I begin.

“Aaron,” I turn around to face him. I smile grimly, feeling tears prickle at the back of my eyes and it hurts to swallow, “What the hell happened to us?” Aaron stands there, arms crossed and a hand on his chin. Crossing arms suggests closing yourself off and is a gesture of defensiveness. “What happened to our Thursday night dates? Aaron- I don’t- I mean,” I struggle to complete a sentence when millions of thoughts are racing through my head, “I know you’re not happy. Sure, maybe everyone thinks that you don’t show a lot of emotion but I know you and you have a tell for specific things. When was the last time we really talked about how we felt about us? C’mon, Aaron, who are we bullshitting? We weren’t communicating and you know that it’s one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship.”

“Why are you using past tense?” Aaron asks and he’s doing the face he only gives to people he thinks are suspicious.

“What are you talking about? And why are you giving me that face?” I pause and Aaron tries to cut in but I get to it first. I make a face and pull my eyebrows together. “Are you profiling me right now?”

Aaron looks taken aback at my comment. “Are you?” Oh. When I don’t say anything he continues, “You’re using past tense when you mention our… marriage and relationship. If you have anything you want to say you should say it now. There really isn’t a better time,” His voice grows cold on me, the same way he does to unsubs we interrogate. I don’t think the ice in his tone is intentional but he probably can’t help it. He’s right though, should I confirm my suspicions? I don’t want to hear his answer to my question in fear that it might be the wrong one. But he is right, this conversation is long overdue.

“Are you cheating on me?” I breathe out at once. “Are you?” The tears are getting harder and harder to hold back and time seems to move slower by the second.

“Y/N, what? No, I'm not! Why would you think that? I could never do that to you. You know about Haley and how she cheated! And you think I'd do that to you?”

“You were just distant lately and-“

“Distant?” He pauses, I know he wouldn’t interrupt me if not necessary so I let him go on, “Y/N, so are you. I didn't think you were cheating. I thought you needed time and that I needed mine. I had thought about what you had said a couple weeks ago about how repetitive life felt.” I nodded at his words. “You’re not the only one who thinks that.” A pang of guilt radiates in my chest, because I think we both know how this was going to end.

“Okay,” I say.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” I walk a little closer to him and cradle his face in my hands. He rubs circles on my wrists, caressing me and I do the same to his face. Tears are spilling from my eyes, down my cheeks, “Aaron Hotchner, I love you more than anything in this whole entire fucking world. I know you love me and that I love you but you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life and we both know what’s coming. It’s been unspoken for too long, I know that. But whatever happens, you have to know that I love you. We had our good days,” I look around to see picture frames on the walls of our relationship in earlier stages. Smiling, dancing, laughing. I remember each and every one of the pictures and thinking that this would be the man I would love for the rest of my days. “And we had bad days. There will never come a day that I forget all the wonderful things that we had. I’m using past tense now because I think-“

“I think you’re right,” Aaron quietly cuts me off. “We’re not the people we used to be. We’ve changed but we can’t grow like this. I love you too, more than words will ever be able to encompass but maybe we’re feeling stuck, not bored or repetitive.” I want to say something for the hell of being a couple for probably the last moments but I don’t want to stray far from the truth. Aaron’s eyebrows turn downwards a bit and his eyes are glimmering with tears. He envelopes my body in his and leaves a quiet kiss on my hairline.

I take a deep breath of air, trying to savor this moment for the rest of my life. My face is wet from tears and they won’t stop falling. I hiccup from the crying in his grasp so he plays with my hair fondly and almost inaudibly hums to me.

“Will we be okay? I mean,” A hiccup, or three. “I don’t want either of us to leave the BAU because of this but also will we be okay? In terms of feelings and… well, more feelings.”

“Of course,” Aaron begins. “I don’t love you any less but we both agree that things will be better this way. We just... go back to how it used to be before you asked me to a drink for the first time,” I can feel his small grin as he leans against my head. Being reminded of that day hurts now, but it has for a while anyway. I wonder if I hadn’t asked him to that drink one night after a local case, if we’d be where we are now. But I know everything here was nothing less than fate itself and that I probably shouldn’t dwell on what if’s.

And so after some moments of silence for something that would soon be gone, we stand underneath the dim lights of the dining room. Aaron holds me against his chest as we look at the candles on the table. They’re both burnt out. There’s no light there anymore. The candle has melted onto the chamberstick, leaving long trails of wax.

I hold him a little tighter and he does the same to me. I don’t know what the future holds but our two halves have drifted too far to come back together and that’s okay. I know things will be weird for a while but it’ll be okay.

“It’ll be okay,” I whisper under my breath. For the sake of us, we'd leave it here. Once upon a time, we were younger and more naive, better for each other then. But we're older now and we're stuck. Just two ghosts standing in the place of him and me.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron #aaron x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #hotch #hotch x reader #criminal minds fic #emily prentiss #derek morgan #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n #hotch x you #david rossi #jennifer jareau

[xsamuu]

HEYYYYY!! I saw your ask box was open and I was wondering if I could request a headcanon? Where the reader is in a massive fight with a friend they haven't seen for like 3 years and the friend takes it too far by saying something like "That's your boyfriend? How gross" "Ew why does he look like that? Couldn't grab someone better? Ugly ho" or whatever you come with? Tendou, Bokuto, Kenma, Kags, Nishinoya please, if you will?

I screeched when I saw this omg thank you I hope this is up to your standards bebs 😼👍🏾 but uh I should say some did come out a little bit like scenarios but I tried to stick to headcanons sorry for that still hope you enjoy 🎃😼

~Admin Rizzo

Tendou Satori

-you was minding your own business walking through a park your hands intertwined with your lover when a ✨m u s t y✨ old friend you knew had decided to share there unwanted opinions

-Tendou could see how uncomfortable you was and wanted to remove you from the situation but as he went to walk around the obstacle you stopped dead in your tracks

-“That’s who your with oh my god that’s fucking gross, I guess you’ll hook up with anyone you thot”

-It’s safe to say that tendou had come up with thousands of insults by the time the slur left there mouth

-Who even was this person?— WAIT WHO THEY CALLING A THOT?!

-you wasn’t a very confrontational person but nevertheless you wasn’t about to let this person who wasn’t even in your day to day life anymore talk smack about your man

-you went to retaliate when a big arm swooped around your shoulder catching you off guard

-“Babe lets go I wanted to bring you to the park today not a circus” 🤡

-Needless to say your ‘friend’ was shocked and maybe a little intimidated

-You on the other hand had to summon all the strength in your body not to laugh in there face

-With his arm still wrapped around he moved you away from the situation the both of you quickly changing the subject to something more important

Bokuto Kōtarō

-Bokuto loves spoiling you

-your the love of his life and he will make sure you know this not only through his words but also his actions

-this however works both ways there isn’t something you wouldn’t do to show him how much you support and love him

-You was sitting in the crowd at one of his games it was a very important one winning this match would definitely get him recognized by some powerhouse teams

-every time he would score a point for his team he would look up at you and every time you would be there imitating his celebration “HEY HEY HEY THATS MY ACE” You felt only pride and absolute infatuation with this man

-you was cheering your heart out when you suddenly felt someone bump your shoulder (a little too hard to be an accident—)

-You swung your head around only to come face to face with an old friend from middle school they looked bitter asf and your conscience was telling you to just ignore them

-“Oh you have nothing to say to me now Huh? I see your at another one of these boring ass games I thought you didn’t have time for people?”

-It’s true at one point you did say that but you didn’t think you’d loose one of your closest friends because of it even so you continue to ignore them hoping they’d get the message and leave

-they didn’t.

-“So you and number 4 are together I’m assuming. I guess ugly attracts ugly”

-immediately you saw red but you couldn’t ruin this for bokuto important people were here. As if he could sense your distress he shot his eyes up to where you were in the stand

-He called a time out, and started running out the gym everyone was confused but when he reappeared in the stands you knew all to well that he had caught on

-“Babe I just noticed your supposed to be closer to the match your an important guest” he smiled you mouthed him a thank you and gathered your things walking a few rows closer to the front

-Thankfully Akaashi was there looking up at you distracting you. The owllike man glared at your old friend “I don’t know what you did to Y/N but you better leave before you have another problem”

-When you looked back your ex friend was nowhere to be seen you giggled as bokuto gave you a big kiss before returning to the court

Kozume Kenma

-Kenma isn’t a contentious person in fact he would much rather settle an issue in the most inconspicuous way possible

-Even so if he feels that him or his partner was disrespected in anyway he will not hesitate

-You and Kenma was at a gaming convention you had been planning since the beginning of February (it’s now late April)

-You had sat through the entrance ceremony and was walking around admiring all the stalls and you were both having so much fun

-Kenma had left you for a split second to get someone’s autograph it was the animator from a game he played religiously you didn’t mind you stayed put and was scrolling through your phone

-“Long time no see y/n” you lifted your head to the sound of your name being called and made perfect eye contact with an old ‘friend’

-If you were being completely honest you hated them all they did was make you feel like an inferior insect whenever you two were together you hummed a ‘yo’ before going back to your phone

-“Still a quiet freak eh LuLu I guess you here on your own or something”

-Lulu was the name of a magical girl from a cartoon you used to love but upon finding out people would use it to mock and degrade you

-you was gonna walk away the ridiculous nickname when you heard a familiar voice

-“no y/n is with me and you are?” It was a genuine question but anyone who didn’t know Kenma would take his pack of expression as bored or sarcastic

-The person scoffed and pointed accusingly at Kenma “That’s who your with LuLu you couldn't do any better HE’S JUST AS LIFELESS AS YOU ARE”

-You tugged on Kenma sleeve motioning to just leave as you felt uncomfortable but Kenma wasn’t having it you had been so excited to be here and with him and this nobody came out of nowhere and started harassing you

-“Listen um going to say this in a way you could understand— he smirked at you and then opened his mouth again

-What escaped his mouth next left you shocked, scared, a little embarrassed for him even but mostly touched

-he cleared his throat

-“lifeless. I’m not lifeless in fact I have a burning hatred for you right now. And that why I feel no guilt in what I’m about to do.”

-You gulped and held on tighter to kenma’s sleeve mentally preparing yourself for what he was about to do

-“YoU HaTe LuLu’S tRanSforMatiOn sOng?!” He practically shouted. Instantly a horde or gamers, writers, weebs and more bombarded the area shouting and screaming and causing a scene

- From all the commotion it’s sounded like your ‘friend’ was ok but some of the words leaving the mouths of the mob were kinda cruel

-you smirked and Kenma led you away

-You know he doesn’t like being the center of attention but he still protected you and for that you’d be sure to thank him for that

Kageyama Tobio

-Kags never really liked leaving you behind when he had to go to different countries

-without you it made him anxious and you would reassure him that you’d be fine and eagerly awaiting his return

-Including the return of his big, fat juicy—

Ahem heart 🙂

-You had been sitting in a café Face Timing him

-You’d often have dates like this and you both enjoyed them you was talking to him when someone took up a seat next to you

-“Hey Y/n funny running into you here” a familiar voice echoed

-A w k w a r d you hadn’t seen or heard from this person since a fight you had a couple years ago why now?

-You had nearly forgotten about your boyfriend on the other side of your iPad screen until “Oh you bought a friend y/n”

-you was at a loss for words but before you could answer the unwanted annoyance to your left answered for you

-‘We’re not friends y/n cut me off because she’s toxic” it took kageyama a solid 10 seconds to realize that this wasn’t a real friend and that you were silently asking for help

-You rested your head in hand obscuring the person from kags field of vision therefore blocking there vision of your face and boyfriend

-hoping they’d get the message without you having to vocalize it

-they stood up and you let out a breath you didn’t know you was holding

-“I wasn’t checking out your friend don’t worry he isn’t my type I prefer cute boys” they spat

-Before you could even assess the fact that they pretty much called your boyfriend ugly you was already pissed at the fact that they referred to kags as your friend

-you stood up abruptly and it’s like they were waiting for you to loose your cool all hope was lost when you heard him clear his throat

-“[there Instagram name] Damn you was easy to find. I liked you post”

-You felt a tinge of confusion race through you but watching all the blood in there body rush to your friends face made you curious

-“DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW” people were definitely looking in your direction

-“Leave then I will” Now you was curious what the help did he do?

-seconds, literal seconds. The annoyance was nowhere to be seen

-“Kags..wha—”

“I shared there IP address in the comments :p”

- “PFFT kAgS!”

Nishinoya Yū

-Noya made sure that you felt like the only person in the world before he asked you out, so when you started dating you didn’t think he could get any more protective over you

-You was sitting in the cinema with him both smiling and listening on to the movie

-He fidgets a lot in his seat but you dont mind you know he cant help it besides you find it cute he is just so full of energy

-“Babe imma go to the toilet be right back” he kissed your cheek and left

-you continue to watch the movie until you feel someone slither into the seat next to you and hearing the voice your your temples irks and your expression one of annoyance

-One of your ex friends for how many years ago had to be in the same theatre at the same time on the SAME FUCKING DAY

-they didn't seem like they were moving so you just spoke first

- “can i help you.?” 

-No response :/

-You were even more irritated than before

-Noya came back a few minutes later and noticed another person had sat right next to you 

-Noya is dense VERY VERY DENSE he assumed you ran into one of your friends so he didn't question it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-After the movie finished you grabbed your things and rushed to get out of that situation

-The same person had finally said something after a whole hour

- “That’s who you came with.. You really know how to pick em an annoying toddler really Y/n your honestly pathetic--”

-It didn’t bother Noya he has been called short all his life this isn’t any different but this rando was obviously upsetting you and he would NOT have that

-Noya would step infront of you and confront the person they get a warning 

-one fucking warning 

-If they don’t take it i shit you not noya is going for the ankles periodt

- “I DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE BUT YOUR UPSETTING MY PARTNER THE FUCKING DOOR IS BEHIND YOU SO TURN AROUND”

-Noya looked like the aggressor and its safe to say he may have caused a scene but he would be a fool not to step in and protect you with all you got

#haikyuu hcs #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyū!! #noya fluff #noya x you #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya imagine #nishinoya hcs #nishinoya headcanons #kotaro bokuto #bokuto x reader #haikyuu blog #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto fluff #bokuto headcanons #bokuto hcs #kageyama #tobio imagine #tobio scenarios #haikyuu tobio #tobio fluff #kageyama tobio #kozume kenma #kenma #kenma x y/n #kenma headcanons #haikyuu kenma #Tsaru scenarios

[kooktaebear]

If Only I Knew

Status: ONGOING (this is my first AU AHHH I’m excited to write the next couple of parts, but I hope this story gets a lot of love :~>)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Y/N abruptly moved to Seoul after spending 21 years living alone in her hometown, Busan after the death of her parents. She now discovers through her best friends that drama can be a lot to handle, but as she starts to meet new people, she discovers that she had completely forgotten an important part of her past.

Warnings: mention of guns, blood and violence,

Genre: angst, WHOLE LOT OF FLUFF, slow burn

Word Count: 3.2k

Part One:

I step out of the bus and a gust of cold wind hits my face as I board the train. Why did I think of not wearing enough layers in the middle of winter? I take my seat and look out the window to see the number of people who are about to board the train. I grab my phone and start listening to ILYSB. I like LANY, their music is perfect for travel.

I know this isn't such an interesting event in my life since I know that many other people have flown to see Seoul, capital of Korea but hey, give me a break. I’m finally going to meet my best friends after living alone for 4 years. This is what pays to be travelling, a provincial girl like me? I doubt I would ever survive the city life.

As a 2 hours pass, I wake up to hear the advisory that I’m about to reach Seoul.

I look out the window, close my eyes, and whisper.  

"Mom, Dad, I made it to Seoul."

I lost both my parents during a hostage that happened in our own home. My mom happened to answer the door and was shot first. The culprit saw me and asked me to go get my dad. At first I was confused, but it so happened that there was an issue with the family business and this guy was after the money. I was 13 at that time but I still couldn't figure out why something like this had to happen to our family. However, as soon as my dad had agreed to the terms of the killer, he pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the pain that comes next but instead, I felt warm liquid on my hands and felt something heavy fall on me, it was my dad. I screamed at the sight of both my parents suddenly vanishing from this world, a sudden pain struck my chest and I couldn't breathe. I fall to the ground slowly losing my vision as I see the blue and red lights of police cars approaching my house.

"Miss? Are you okay miss?" the person right next to me calls my attention and brings me back to reality, "Oh, yes I'm fine. Have we arrived?" I look around to see almost everyone out of the train. "Would you need any help getting off? Are you new to the city?" the lady asks me. I shake my head and give her a smile as I head down the aisle to the exit.

I follow the rest of the passengers to exit the station as I turn my phone on to contact Jennie and Lisa, my two best friends. Their parents had offered to get us three an apartment we could all share just so that they could both keep me company. Lisa and Jennie aren't sisters if you were wondering, they just had agreed to live under one roof with me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Not to mention they’re idol trainees.

"Y/N?" I turn my head to see Lisa's straight black hair, "Lisa!!!" We both jump around and giggle, "Wait but where's Jennie?" "Oh, she's getting us another cab because your arrival got delayed." She helps grab my luggage and we both start catching up with each other, as if we’ve never spoken in weeks. This was the first time I had ever seen both Lisa and Jennie in person, all our moms were best friends when they were younger too but since we couldn't visit them often, we met and talked through video calls.

"Well if it isn't our beautiful foreign friend Y/N." I turn around and meet Jennie’s eyes, "JENNIE!!!" I run to hug her and Lisa joins in and I finally don't feel alone anymore. "Girls, the cab is waiting outside, we better hurry." On our way to our new apartment we were all catching up with each other as if we really didn't talk as much already. "Oh hey, Y/N you have to make sure that you're ready to go to school by 7am okay?" Jennie cheerfully said. I was so confused, school started at 8am so why would I have to be ready an hour before school when our place was literally like 10 minutes away. "Wait why do we have to be ready an hour before school? I know our place is like 15 minutes away from school. It's not like you guys take that long to fix yourselves up right?" Lisa and Jennie smiled at me suspiciously, "Well....Y/N you know, you may not know everything about us yet..." "What's there not to know? I've known you guys since the moment I was able to talk." Lisa elbowed me softly, "We’ve got new friends! Like actual men type of friends." My eyes opened wide despite the tiredness I've been experiencing,

How could these two end up befriending guys and just suddenly "forgetting" to tell me about it when they know and are fully aware that we all don’t normally interact with the opposite gender?  

"Fine, I'll be ready by 7am on Monday." I say as I roll my eyes, "YAYYY I'M SO EXCITEDDD!!!" both of them scream.

Ugh, 30 minutes have just passed since I arrived in Seoul and I'm already experiencing stress.

As soon as we got off the cab, both my friends had rushed to bring down all my belongings so that I could finally take a look at the place we rented out. Jennie reaches her hand out to me and in her palm, my key to our place. "Hey, have you guys figured out how we'll be getting to school on Monday?" Jennie giggles, "Y/N, you’re lucky we attend the same school. But the guys will pick us up! Plus..they promised to bring Jungkook." Jennie winks at me and flashes me her brightest smile.

Jungkook? I know I've heard that name somewhere, but I just can't remember where.

"We're here!!" The elevator door opens, "Apartment 735" I mutter to myself. I walk along the brightly lit corridor. "732....733...734..." I continue counting, "735!!" The girls rush to my side, "Y/N, this is your first time in our apartment, so you'll have the honor of opening the door with your key" Lisa says with a smile. I reach out for my keys, close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning the key to unlock the door. I hear the light switch turn on and I open my eyes. The apartment was beautiful. I walk in to see the kitchen, it has a small island where I could serve meals to my friends. I honestly enjoy cooking to relieve myself from whatever stresses me out, whether it be school, people or something about football. I’ve loved sports for as long as I can remember but it gets frustrating since I could be quite competitive.

I walked into the next room and I saw our living room, there was a large L-shaped sofa sitting in front of a huge television. In between the sofa and TV, I saw a small wooden table that is most probably multipurpose as being both a study desk and a place to put our snacks when we binge on shows during our free days. Beside the sofa I see a balcony that showcases a beautiful scenery of the city. I walk out and feel the cold breeze on my cheeks, I look up to the sky and I see that the sky had a welcoming gift for me as well. The stars greeted me as they shined brightly upon the night sky and I just can't help but admire the night sky. To my right, I see a bean bag that fits 2 people. I plop down to the bean bag and stargaze for a while.

Mom? Dad? I know you can hear me, I promise I'll make you proud, I'll succeed here in Seoul and become a great doctor.

"Y/N?" I snap back to reality and see Jennie’s head appear, "You haven't even seen your room yet! Come onnnnn!!" I stand back up and follow the girls in another small hallway, there I see 3 doors. "So basically, it's not that we don't want you to have your own room but we wanted one room to be our sort of walk-in closet because I mean who has not dreamed of having one?" I open the first door I see and the place is indeed full of clothes. There were 3 closets in the room, each of the closet doors have our first name initials on it to indicate who owns which closet. I laugh at my best friends, we all enjoy watching all those Barbie movies where they have spectacular closets and I guess you can say that this is the closest we can get to our childhood dreams.

I walk out of the room and take a few steps into the hallway. Lisa rushes to get past me and hold the doorknob, "Okay Y/N, this room is a little different. I know it's not really our style whatsoever but we created a study room." I scrunch my eyebrows, "A study room? Really now? For all of us or for me?" Lisa tucks a stray hair into her ear, "Well, more for you than for us since we know how hard you work and how much more you'll be working to get into med school. But it's a double purpose for a practice room for us too!" I take a step back to look at both my best friends and their grinning faces,

What did I do to deserve these two psychos in my life?

I call them in for a group hug, "You guys, I know you want to make me feel like there's nothing missing anymore in my life and I love you guys for that. I hope you all still remember I'm not a robot though and even if I'll be working hard to get into med school, I'll still be around to party and experience what any normal teenager should be experiencing." I hear Jennie sniffling at my right, "Aw Jen" I rub her back soothingly, "We know that Y/N, we just want the best for you too. We'll always be here rooting for you any time." We all take a step back, "Okay!" Lisa says, "Guys, it's our first night in our own apartment and we're already crying." Everybody laughs, "So I guess this last room is our room?" "It sure is." Jennie opens the door and I see three twin beds side by side. Just like our "walk-in closet" our first name initials are hanging above our head, brightly lit to recognize who owns which bed. I see my initial on top of the bed that lies in between both Lisa and Jennie's.

I drop my luggage off at our closet area and plop back down into the bean bag on the balcony. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.

This is the start of my new life.

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"Take my hands now, you are the cause of my euphoria"

I woke up to the sound of Euphoria, my favorite song in the whole wide-

"WHEN I’M WITH YOU I'M IN UTOPIA"

And of course, the voices of my two best friends singing their hearts out and getting the lyrics messed up.

"Y/N!!! Come on!! It's your first day of school. Did you forget about our breakfast plan?"

Right. Their so-called "breakfast plan" before school. I stand up from my bed and stretch a little before I start making my bed. I stop by the closet first and pick my outfit for today, I pick out a tied crop top, white sneakers, and jeans. I grab my bathrobe and head to the bathroom. I step into the shower and play some music that would help wake me up and get ready for the day. As I continue to wash my hair, I hear a knock on my door, 

"Y/N! Are you done?!!" 

I roll my eyes. Jeez, they finally got themselves guy friends and now they're going crazy about finishing on time. I wrap a towel around my head to dry my hair. I head back to our dressing room and open my luggage. As I look for my blow dryer and straightener, Lisa barges into the room, 

"Y/N Y/L/N, you seem to be too relaxed this morning. You have 30 minutes left to get ready and if you're not ready by then I'm going to drag you to the car." "Don't worry Jen, I'll be done on time. Now can you please stop bothering me so that I can start dressing up?"

I quickly blow dry my hair and put it up in a messy bun. With the remaining time left, this is the best I can do to tame my natural curls. I look at myself in the mirror and check to see if something is missing. I reach out to get my makeup bag and I put on a little blush and add a little lip tint. I search through my accessory bag and look for my small stud earrings. I get my glasses from the table and look at myself in the mirror once more. I'm ready for my first day of school. I leave the dressing room and meet my best friends in our kitchen. 

"Oh my goodness Y/N, let's go! We're already 5 minutes late." I grab the schoolbag I prepared last night before heading to bed and leave the apartment. We head to the basement by elevator since Lisa got her license just recently. "Wait Lisa, if you had your license already by the time you picked me up, why did you guys use a taxi to pick me up?" "Oh, uh..I was too lazy to drive that late at night so I just got us a taxi." She starts the car and we head to the exit.

It was my first time ever seeing Seoul in the morning light, the sun hit the skyscrapers so beautifully that it was as if the city was welcoming me as their new citizen. Numerous cars were already out by the time we hit the road because of the rush hour most of them were experiencing. Our school, Seoul National University was just 10 minutes away, our apartment was located a couple blocks away As I was looking out the window, I saw some sort of diner come into view. It looked huge for my definition of a diner since I always saw diners as small joints made for meals, but this diner was different. As Lisa pulled up in the parking area I could see a little bit of the inside, students like us were dining in there as well and there seemed to be a game room on the other side of the dining area.  It's around mid-February so the breeze was still cool, Busan was a little warmer during the winter so I had to find a way to adjust to the cooler weather in the city. As my friends and I make our way to the entrance, I notice three heads that turn our way. As we enter the diner however, the smell of freshly made bread, waffles, and eggs hits me and I feel my mouth water. I've been starving and I couldn't wait to try whatever the diner had been serving.

I see three boys in a booth and I make eye contact with one of them, the weird thing is...I felt butterflies in my tummy. I've seen those eyes somewhere, he feels familiar which is of course impossible because I've never met these people in my entire life.

I've never had any guy friends at all. I've always thought about making my parents proud and everything so I focused on getting good scores on all my tests so that I could get into med school. This is all so new to me...having friends of the opposite species. I mean okay, I've watched rom-coms and movies that revolve around love, seeing your friends being treated the way I see couples act in the movies is something I never thought I would be interacting with boys at this point of my life.

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N!" I snap back to reality as Jennie calls my attention. "This is Jimin, Taehyung and the guy still sitting in the booth is Jungkook." Jungkook? I think I know a Jungkook from back home but it's still pretty hard to remember a lot of things. "Sorry, I'm being rude." Jungkook stood up and walked to me, "Jungkook." He held out a hand for me to shake, "Y/N." I say in reply. As our hands touch, there's a familiar warmth that gives me goosebumps. I quickly try to mask the reddness in my cheeks. We all take a seat in the booth and based on the impression of these boys, they seem like athletes. "Hey Y/N," Jimin says, "You should try their Bacon and Waffles here. They sell out like crazy in the mornings." I take a quick glance on the menu and scan quickly for the meal Jimin was talking about. I raise my hand excitedly to call in the waitress to take our orders, "1 Bacon and Waffles, 2 Pancakes and, 3 orders of the Waffles and Chicken all with Orange Juice on the side." The waitress says, "Thanks." I give her a smile in return.

I glance back at my friends after giving the waitress the menu I was holding, Jungkook and I make direct eye contact, his big brown doe eyes, another flood of goosebumps crawl on my skin as he turns away to talk to Taehyung. Why is it that Jungkook looks at me as if he’s seen me before?

The waitress returns with the orders and I start to take a bite off my first meal of the day.

“So Y/N, how was your first night in the city?” Taehyung asked as he picked a strawberry off one of the pancakes, “I stayed up in the balcony just looking at the city lights, the stars were very bright last night. I couldn’t stay up for so long though, it got really cold.” “Y/N loves gazing at stars, she used to try to make Jen and I see the stars in Busan every time we video called.” Lisa says giggling, Jimin gasps and turns to point at Jungkook while eating his waffle, “Jungkook used to drag us out of our homes just to meet at a park to stargaze!” Jungkook shyly looks away and takes a sip of his juice, “Yah” he finally speaks, “You make me sound like a really weird kid Hyung” I laugh at his statement, “Don’t be too embarrassed Kook, looking at the stars are my favorite past time” He tenses up with the nickname as he looks at me, I realize I just gave this guy a nickname on the first day we met. Shit. “Uh, is it okay that I call you Kook?” He nods in return as a smile crept onto his face.

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