#i just come here to escape all those shitty stuff but this place stresses me too

[angelkurenai]

So much for a surprise - Chris Evans x Reader

Title: So much for a surprise

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompt: I'd love a chris evans x reader one shot, where they're dating, and after the knives out movie, he's been spending a lot of time with his co-star Ana de Armas, and like in one specific interview she was getting very flirty and such with Chris, and touching his arm and stuff, and I'd just want to see how you'd interpret jealous!reader, and Chris reacting to that jealousy!!

Looking at your phone, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, you tried to suppress a sigh, though you couldn't help the roll of your eyes. Despite the amount of messages and notifications, and there were plenty for sure, none of them including your boyfriend.

You didn't want to hold it against him, after all you knew he was particularly busy these days what with all the interviews and promoting his newest movie. And despite all the games and laughs it could be, or at least it seemed to be to the rest of the world, you were an actress yourself and understood that it could be tiring, exhausting and on more than one occasions very nerve-wracking especially if one was already anxious about taking on a new role after years of being famous for another one. You understood because you had gone through all of that yourself, and you could have excused his lack of contact. You would have, really, if it wasn't for the fact that those interviews were no longer part of his job and a stressful one at that. No, if anything, they were obviously only an excuse now.

An excuse to not answer phone calls or messages, an excuse to spend less time at home, an excuse to make plans to go out with without you – oh you couldn't even remember the last time it had been just the two of you out for a simple drink – an excuse to pull further apart from you, an excuse fool around and be playful with another woman. It was that last part which brought a bitter taste in your mouth. If it was his friends, long-time ones or not, you wouldn't have paid so much attention to it but when he said that he was going out for the third time in a row with Ana and maybe some costar might tag along but he didn't know then there was only so much you could take.

You didn't doubt him, you would never doubt him or his fidelity to you, because you knew the kind of man you had beside you. After years of being together you how much he loved you, he made sure show it every chance he got and made sure you never forgot it, so you always trusted him even if he more often than not ended up surrounded by so many beautiful women at a time. But that didn't mean you could trust her, just like you couldn't blame her. Alright maybe you could andyou would if she ever tried anything with Chris, but the lingering touches or easy smiles and casually frequent glances were no reason for you to start anything or try to hold it against her. Not yet.

You could very easily hold it against him, though. For allowing all of it, but above all for allowing himself to be pulled away from you because of another woman. It wasn't your fault that you couldn't stop the pang in your chest. You weren't to blame for the way your heart squeezed, a bit painfully sometimes too. It was not on you that whenever he said, in that casual simple way that “Oh just going out with Ana.” as if she was his girlfriend of three years and not you, you felt your throat close up and your eyes burn with something akin to unshed tears. You refused to believe it was tears and you refused to believe that he was hurting you, that this situation was hurting you, when it could all easily be just in your head so instead you shrugged most of it off.

“Hey, we were-” the man started but paused when he saw the deep frown that had set on your face, the concern that slipped on his features was touching to say the least. Especially as he gave a small sign to his friends and approached you. Your friends as well and you tended to forget that lately just like you couldn't enjoy anything good that happened to you because of how things with Chris were but then again you had not shared much of it with him and when you didn't get to share your happiness with him it always tended to feel less true or real.

“Are you alright?” the hand on your shoulder along with the small squeeze and warmth it brought was comforting in a way you had almost forgotten you wanted but clearly more than needed, you realized.

“Just fine, don't worry about me. Going without any sleep for two days in a row kind of takes a toll on you, I guess.” you shrugged softly, slowly tucking your phone in your pocket; hoping even in the last couple seconds that there would be a message from your boyfriend.

“Are you trying to be reassuring now?” his eyebrows rose “Cause you're doing a really shitty job at it let me tell you. Hey remind me again who you've been taking acting lessons from at first? Hugh Jackman? Well it shows.”

“No, I swear I-” you couldn't help the giggle that left your lips, feeling light even for a few second “I am alright, really. A tad tired but only because I had so many scenes today. I recover fast and I have tomorrow off so all will be good. It's not anything I'm not used to.”

“I-” his small smile dropped in the end, worry showing through once more “Are you sure? Because I've seen you check your phone plenty of times in between breaks so I worried that- Well, something might've happened.”

“No, it's- Well, I expected some phone call or message from my boyfriend but apparently he's still busy with interviews, so I might just have to go ahead and meet him in person there. We might go out later... I think. We usually do every Friday so...” you trailed off and shrugged, not wanting to burden him with unnecessary worries and information despite how close you were lately.

“Oh well, in that case-” he nodded his head, glancing over his shoulder for a second before facing you again “It seems like you've already got plans with him then but uhm in case anything happens and you're off early or in the mood for drinks we know where we will be-”

“Oh but I'm not sure if I will have time to-” you said with slight worry and wide eyes.

“I know, I know.” he chuckled softly, quickly trying to calm you down “Just letting you know in case there's an off chance that it happens. We'll be waiting for you either way. I'll be waiting.”

You didn't dare say much to him after that, only gave him a shy smile and nod with a promise to at least try, and him that he was alright with anything, and watched him leave with the rest of your friends before you got in your own car to make your way to the studios where the interviews would be held. For the first time, probably in days if not weeks, you felt much lighter. Maybe it was good to see that you were wanted somewhere, in someone's company even though it wasn't your boyfriend's - despite your deepest hopes.

If only your good mood could last for longer than the whole 30 minutes of the ride, that would have been ideal. However, in the end, part of you wished that said interview was probably on the other side of the globe instead of so close to your filming location. Because as you walked into the studio, try as you might, you couldn't hold back the lump in your throat as you saw the scene in front of you.

“Don't know what that is but it sounds good!” Chris said with a grin on his face, soon followed by easy laughter from both him and Ana.

Ana's hand was in that very second on his arm, giving a small squeeze as they kept laughing together, until it slowly but surely started sliding down until her hand was holding his. The interview kept going and they both had smiles on, an occasional laugh escaping here and there. Her hand remained with his long enough for you to notice how he thumb was rubbing soothing circles one moment and playing with his fingers the next in a slow and easy manner that you knew he loved, you knew relaxed him even in the most stressful situations – especially during interviews which you knew he always needed – and that you knew... was your thing. Or at least so you thought.

And apparently you had been mistaken for at least three years now. You had been mistaken to think those warm comforting touches were just for the two of you to share and say things without having to verbally phrase them. You had been mistaken to think that the smile you saw on his face as he looked at Ana was saved just for you. You had been mistaken to believe that the way his face softened and his eyes focused with an unmistakable spark of interest were reserved just for you when you spoke to him about things you loved and not also her as she answered a question that very moment. You had been mistaken to think that the way his shoulder fell in relaxation, in easiness and comfort, as if coming back home for a long day, was reserved just for you and was something that came naturally. As naturally as the feeling of love which he so openly showed both with his actions and words whenever he saw you... or at least used to.

Come to think of it, many of the things you had been considering as important, as unique, for the two of you, were probably nothing more than maybe you getting sentimental or worse too attached. And, for sure you now realized, not happening lately much if not at all. But maybe that was to be expected when you were hardly spending any time together whatsoever. Maybe even not as meaningful... not as true?

But if that love, if those looks and touches and words, were not true then what else about your relationship was in the first place? What was real? What was unique? If he could so easily relax around her, flirt with her and accept her flirting back so easily, so openly then-

You shook your head and tore your eyes from the scene before you, effectively silencing their laughter in your head, even though it already sounded very far off. The unpleasant feeling was back, squeezing your heart, tightening your stomach in knots and making your eyes burn. The bad taste in your mouth, as your throat closed, was there too and you decided to bite on the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from saying or doing anything you wouldn't like. Even the taste of blood was better, anything was better, really than the bitterness that came when you watched them interact like that.

You were above this, had always been especially with all the fans and female costars he had that got a bit more handsy and yes, you brushed most of it off. Most of it, when your blood wasn't boiling like it was right now because of how long this had gone on for.

Watching Chris making his way towards you, with his usually warm smile -even though you couldn't feel its sentiment at the moment -and a clear look of surprise on his face to see you there you felt that over the bitterness, you did feel mad. What you heard didn't help.

“Hey, Chris, don't forget about the meetup later yeah?” it was Ana and really you had nothing against her, not anymore, and not much more than your boyfriend.

Especially when he looked at her with a smile and nod “Sure thing I'll meet up with you there.”

“Honey, hey!” he breathed out and pecked your lips though you didn't even blink up at him, let alone smile “What a surprise, what are you doing here?”

“Surprise huh?” maybe you had originally planned it as that but now even the word made you huff angrily “Oh I'm not sure, maybe you would know better if you did check your phone once in a while. What the fuck is wrong with you, I called you so many times, Chris. Damn it I almost thought something happened. You always answer at least for a couple seconds, you always-” you stopped yourself immediately when you realized you were close to raising your voice and causing a scene which was the last thing you wanted.

Chris' eyes were somewhat wide and his smile had vanished. He considered your expression and stance for a few more seconds before he said in more serious voice “Maybe you'd like to talk in private then?”

Shaking your head, you huffed a humorless laugh but followed him as he took hold of your hand, linking your fingers and leading you away from the main set. No sooner were you alone than you pulled your hand from his grasp, not fact or angrily, only in a cold way without a single emotion on your face which you saw made his frown deepen.

“What's the matter baby?” he asked, voice low and somehow hoarse as he saw you wrap your arms around yourself and take a step back from him. A flush of hurt was visible in his eyes and you didn't like that it felt good to see it, but it was what it was.

“No first, let me ask you a question Chris.” you took a deep breath, trying to straighten your back “Do you know what day it is today?”

“Friday, why are you-”

“Oh so you do know, splendid! Then you haven't lost track of the date and you certainly haven't lost your phone or anything because you would have mentioned it when I brought it up. Which means you haven't been checking it or have checked, seen my calls, and didn't bother. Both of which, especially today, are equally bad. So, to sum it up-” you let out a shaky sigh “You don't give a damn about me anymore.”

“What?” he blinked in surprise “Where did that-”

“You know it's Friday and we always make plans for Friday night, always Chris. You make sure to text me about it first thing in the morning every single time. No matter where we are, even when we cannot be together, because we had promised. You had, Chris, because you knew. You knew how important it was to me to know even in the most simple way that my partner cares, you knew how much I needed that and I never asked for more never cared for more than just an hour out of your day, you knew better than anyone what I've gone through, and you promised Chris!” you pressed your fingers over your pursed lips when you realized you'd let yourself get carried away, raising your voice was not something you wanted. His eyes did widen this time and his eyebrows shot up.

You shook your head and made sure to wipe any sort of emotion from your face. Mostly caring to wipe out the proof of pain, that is, which you had been constantly feeling, because you were absolutely fine with him seeing the anger. If he managed to attribute it to your jealousy as well then you didn't care, you were beyond that now. If only it was as easy for the tears to be concealed.

You looked at him, and despite your red-rimmed eyes, your voice was low and cold “You always made sure to call. For the past three years. You never missed a single day. Until today. But of course-” you laughed bitterly, your words laced with venom as you nearly glared at him “You already made plans with somebody else, didn't you honey?”

“What- No, I-” he shook his head, eyebrows knitted together and baby blue eyes glistening with sadness and, dare you say, guilt “That's not what it looks like. Really, if this is about it then I promise I- (Y/n), of course you're welcome!”

“Welcome where? Cause I don't feel welcome anywhere in your life, Chris, let alone around her. And no it's clearly not just about this, but how would you even know how you've been making me feel all this time when you're hardly ever around, Chris?” you hissed before looking away from him.

“Hardly ever around?” you didn't know if your words hurt him as much as angered him, based on the way his eyes darkened with anger “Given that you do the same job, I didn't think you'd just show up like this only to pick a fight over something you know I have little control over. These days are harder on me and you know it, you can't really blame me for that! I was doing interviews all day and in between breaks I was so tired I forgot to check even my own phone, I didn't know that's a crime now.”

“So you do think that that's really what I'm trying to say here huh? Wow.” you blinked several times “You think you're the only one having a hard time, Chris? You have no idea about how hard of a time I am having then. No idea how emotionally exhaustion this new role is or how tired I am all the time. No idea how despite all that, I still can't go to sleep lately. And insomnia doesn't even begin to cover it, because of the doubts and constant thinking that I do and you're not there Chris, during any of it. You have no idea about any of it but I mean, how could you? We barely even talk anymore and no!” you raise your hands to stop him “It is not because of this job, it is because of her that all this is happening.”

“H-her?” he frowned in confusion before you saw the realization set down on him and a small sigh escape his lips “Ana? Really, this is all about that? (Y/n), you were always above this, you've never had a jealous fit. We both know I'm just spending some time with a friend, there is nothing more to that. There could never be, how could you ever believe otherwise?”

“How?” you couldn't stop a scoff “Really? You ask how? Oh my gosh, Chris, she is flirting with you nonstop! I have seen the looks and touches and everything, you can't be that oblivious. No I refuse to believe it. For the love of, that was the exact way I acted around you at first! It's crystal clear that she likes you and flirts with you and asks you out all the time and you- you're encouraging this! Chris, you spent twice the time with her than with me and I clearly don't mean work. You're constantly out with her, you do nothing to stop it and even when you're supposed to do something for the two of us you- you go and put her first. And only on second thought, as if to do me a favor, you think to invite me over because oh poor her she'll spend our night all alone. Honestly-” you laughed humorlessly “I wonder who's really your girlfriend after all. Or better yet-” you paused, hesitating for only half a second because maybe you were too hurt and the part of you that was angry was easily controlling your words but you didn't hold it back.

What is the point in being your girlfriend in the first place?

You heard him take a sharp breath in, his eyes and face all showing unbelievable guilt and pain at your words as if it was finally downing him the extent of his mistake. But you didn't let yourself feel sorry even for a second and if he really deserved a taste of his own medicine he was going to get it.

“I didn't know I- I made you feel this way.” his voice was shaky and you could see the beginning of tears make his eyes glisten. You were probably too cruel but so was reality and everything you had been experiencing so when he took a step forward you took one backwards as well. “Honey-” he made to touch you but you shifted away and he didn't insist, although his hands were shaking and his eyes were wide, he forced himself to stay calm you “You know that... I- I love you more than anything.”

“Do I?”seeing the way his lips fell apart but he shook his head and tried to get it together.

“(Y/n), hear me out please.” his hands were shaking and he let out a trembling breath as he ran his fingers through his hair.

He finally got the courage to back up “You know that I love, that will never- it can never change, no matter what. I would never do something like that to you, certainly not knowingly. I'm not that kind of man, I would never be and even more so not to you! You know how important you are to me, goodness, I love you with all my heart! I've loved you for years, nothing can take it away. It breaks me to think I made you feel like this, hell to even realize you're jealous--” he scoffed angrily but you could see it was directed at nobody else but himself as he ran a hand down his face “It's not anywhere near flattering or funny or cute when I see you like this. I shouldn't have let it get this far, it's my fault you feel like this, I know, but I promise-”

“Promise?” you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper but somehow more effective than any screaming or jealousy fit you could throw as it made him stop on the instant, lips pressing shut “I think I've had enough of promises, Chris, don't you think?”

“Baby, I- I-” he frowned, not understanding how this had gotten so bad and maybe that was somehow comforting - certainly preferable to him encouraging her flirting knowingly or as a joke “I love you.”

“And I love you, but this-” you let out a shaky breath, shrugging numbly “It's not even jealousy, not anymore. Was it at first? Yes, yes it was. You're my boyfriend and you spent more time with her, out for drinks with Ana, out for a dinner with Ana and maybe some costar, interviews with Ana and talking in between breaks with Ana, letting Ana calm you down and comfort you when I-” you sighed “But as I said, not anymore. At this point... I don't have it in me to feel anything at all.”

“So-” you took hold of your things again “You can go ahead and have your fun and you don't have to feel sorry for me-” you hated how you sniffled but remained proud for how put together you still were “I hoped things were different but don't worry, I do know there is someone out there that at least wants my company, my presence in their life. I won't doubt that. I wished it was you but... what can you do?”

“Wh-what?” he breathed out shakily, his voice gruff as he slowly came to realize what you meant “What do you me-”

“Bye Chris, hope I'll see you... sometime within the next week, if you decide to show up at our place.” you gave him a tight-lipped smile before you rushed away.

He tried to reach out for you but you were faster, and him being still in shock and a mess of emotions, didn't have time to catch up with you. He stood in his place for a good few seconds, his heart hammering in his chest, eyes burning, lungs hurting and mind foggy. It didn't even register when he heard Ana speak to him, asking whether everything was alright, and him brushing her off with a small mumble before closing the door, maybe a bit too in her face but doesn't bring himself to care, and asking for some time alone. All the time he couldn't help but wonder how it all had gotten to this.

“Who...” he could only hear himself whisper with a deep frown, the thoughts running through his mind nowhere near pleasant as your words echoed again and again in his mind. He wanted to be even a bit angry, and maybe he was deep down underneath all this, but he couldn't fight the ache in his chest, the deep burn of jealousy which oh stung a lot, and ultimately the hurt than ran deep - even deeper when he realized that this was how he had made you feel - inevitably it brought a feeling of self-loathing as well.

But when he heard the small thud, of something falling, he realized it wasn't really a matter of who. He didn't even have the right to be angry at whoever was making you feel good, welcome and at ease; hell even if they made you feel wanted and desired, he had it coming and he even deserved it as much as he deserved the bitter taste in his mouth and jealousy in his heart. It was him who was at fault, him who had screwed up everything.

Looking down he saw the small object that had fallen from his pocket where he always kept it with him the past couple days, secured and safe away from eyes that could find it before it was the right time. He wanted to scoff bitterly at the thought, would he get the chance to find one after all?

“So much for a surprise huh?” he asks practically noone as he opens the box and takes the ring to toy with between his fingers.

#marvel #mcu #avengers #chris #chris evans #chris x reader #chris evans x reader #chris imagine #chris evans imagine #chris fanfiction #chris evans fanfiction #chris one shot #chris evans one shot #ana de armas #x reader #jealousy #one-sided #fluff #angst

[inlovewiththefictionalcharacters]

SURPRISE

Request: Have you ever seen Defending Jacob if so I would like to request for a sugar daddy Andy Barber x reader please and thankyou ☺️

Pairing: (Sugar daddy) Andy Barber x Reader

Warning(s): Language; Smut (kinda); 18+; Angst; Spanking (sorry bout that); Not proofread; Mean Andy Barber (kinda); Reader is of age (18+).

To the Anon who sent me this: I hope you like this one. I’m so sorry it took a lot of time to write this, but I was preoccupied with some other stuff. I hope this meets your expectations. I can only hope that you will like it.

A/N: I don’t know what monstrosity I wrote. I apologize in advance... I never wrote anything with sugar baby - sugar daddy settings and I didn’t find many fics on it either. I hope you guys will like it.

*****

She never thought that she’ll end up doing this in her life. Becoming a sugar baby to someone. She didn’t want to do it. She didn’t like decision, but she don’t even have any other options left. With having no support from her parents, just because she chose to take an entirely different career path from what her parents wanted her to, her parents practically disowned her, kicking her to the curb. 

That left her juggling two part time jobs along with college that left her so exhausted that sometimes, all she wanted was to never get out of her bed. Her paychecks barely met her rent and other expenses, apart from the tuition fees. But here she was, being a sugar baby to this man - Andy Barber.

She met Andy Barber in the most unconventional way when compared to how many other sugar babies met their sugar daddies. The first time she met him was when she was working on her shift at the diner and he happened to be at the place then. She ended up serving him for that night. The first time, Andy was polite and smiled at her whenever their gazes met. He was all alone by himself. 

The second time she met him, was once again during her shift at the diner and coincidentally happened to serve him, yet once again. He was alone again and the diner didn’t have many customers that night. Andy started conversing with her, asking her how her day was and other random stuff that none of the customers she served to did. 

The third time she met him was once again at the same diner which was practically empty that night, apart from the the cute teenage couple that was all googly eyes at each other. Instead of her, her coworker walked towards him to take his order and serve him, but then returned back to the counter with a confused expression, making Y/N look at her with a frown.

“He asked for you, today. You can cover him. I’ll take care of the teenage lovebirds” Tara said.

With a smile, Y/N walked towards Andy to take his order. 

That night, Andy asked her to join him. She stilled hearing that. That’s very unusual and she didn’t know what to do. A quick glance at Tara who also happens to be near enough to hear what Andy asked received her a nod from Tara.

Nervously, she looked at Andy and said “Let me just place your order. I’ll join you after that.”

Andy smiled in response. After spending some time with her, Andy paid for the both of them, much to her disdain and walked out of the diner after thanking her for giving him company. But what surprised her the most that day was finding Andy outside the diner when she completed her shift. He was just standing there, waiting for her and she blinked at him, flabbergasted and slightly taken aback to see him there. With a gentle smile, he approached her and convinced her to let her take him somewhere else.

They ended up in a quaint little ice cream parlor with a scoop each of their favorite ice-creams and yet again, he managed to pay the bill before she could. The place was empty, given the late hour and they still took their seats far away to not be heard or disturbed by anyone who could pop in.

That’s when Andy broke the news to her, him propositioning to be her sugar daddy. Y/N was shocked to hear this. She didn’t know what to expect when he took her there, but she definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Look, I just want you to give me company, that’s pretty much it. I don’t expect anything else from you. It sucks going home to no one, living alone for these many years. I just want you to be with me whenever I want to” he told her.

He told her that he wanted to spoil her, shower her with gifts. He told her that she wouldn’t have to worry about paying rents or making ends meet and he’ll be the one to worry her, also popping out that she’s going to live with him rather than that shitty hole of an apartment she lived in. He told her that she wouldn’t have to juggle those part time jobs anymore and can invest that time on her career and him. 

The career aspect of his speech must have been what made her think about the deal. If not for that, she would have probably said a flat out no. But still, she asked him some time to think about it to which she agreed. But that didn’t stop him from meeting her everyday, giving her a glimpse of how her life could be if she agreed to be his sugar baby, adding his charm to everything he did. 

That must have been it and within a week, she agreed to the deal and by the end of the month, Andy had her settled in his house. It felt odd, still did to find most of her favorite things handed out to her, without even asking for it. All she had to do was just be with him whenever he’s home and let him take care of her. That included going shopping, buying gifts and taking her out to places in and out of the city, impromptu included. But the best part was hanging out with each other that slowly turned into cuddle sessions. Both of them loved those.

It was during one of those moments when she first kissed him. It was a spur of the moment kiss. Both of them were cuddling, looking at a cheesy romantic movie that she put on. They were talking about a scene in the movie and turned their heads to look at each other while talking. She didn’t even know when they stopped talking and gazed into each others’ eyes, glancing at each others’ lips too.  Without even thinking, she pressed her lips against his.

Andy was still for a moment. When she realized what she did, she was quick to break apart from him, apologizing profusely, but got cut off by him when he dragged her back to him and kissed the hell out of her. One thing lead to another and the both of them ended up rolling in the sheets on the bed. 

She didn’t notice when things got complicated on her part, but when she did, it was too late. She caught feelings for Andy and didn’t even know when she fell in love with him. She loved everything about him, inside and out. That’s when her fear started too. She feared about the time she had to part ways with him. She wasn’t a fool. Arrangements like these almost never lasts long. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to mend her broken heart and live with it. 

That’s when she started holding herself back, going reserved and formal making Andy frown every time she did it. When he asked her about it, she just brushed him off, saying it was just the stress due to college. But that continued even after the exams, days after the summer break has started. That’s when Andy thought that it was about time they go somewhere out and took her to the Caribbean. A getaway from all their worries where all they have to do is enjoy the sun and themselves. 

It didn’t escape Andy’s scrupulous observation - the way she was behaving, like she was holding back, scared of something. He knew something was bugging her and he made a resolve to fix that before they leave, back to Newton.

Andy was sitting in the balcony of the room they were in, enjoying the gorgeous sunset that it offered along with the glorious view of the beach when Y/N awkwardly walked out, to the balcony.

“Hey, you” Andy greeted, looking at her and was met with a shy and awkward smile and a small hey was told to him.

She was about to sit on the chair beside him when he grabbed her hand, saying “Sit with me,” and pulling her into his lap.

She was stiff for a moment but eventually leaned into him, the both of them enjoying the sunset while he kept caressing her hair, her back and her arm. He smiled when she nuzzled into him, but it quickly turned into a frown when she suddenly stilled. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking down at her.

“N-Nothing” she replied and quickly stood up.

“Where are you going?” he asked, sitting straight when he saw her leaving.

“Inside” she replied and walked back into the room.

Cussing under his breath, he stood up and followed her.

“Look, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me” he told her.

“Nothing’s bothering me, Andy” she told, letting her hands run through the non-existent creases on her sundress.

Andy narrowed his eyes at her.

“Seriously, Y/N?!” “Now you’re lying to me?” “Is it something that I did?” “Tell me what’s bothering you!” he kept asking and telling her but she didn’t say anything, dodging all of his questions.

“I said nothing’s bothering me, Andy!” she exclaimed.

“Bullshit!” he called out her bluff.

She just huffed rolling her eyes and he narrowed his, looking at her.

“I need some air” she muttered and turned around to leave, but he was quick to walk towards her with huge steps and grabbed her arm.

“Oh, no. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s bothering you so much” Andy said.

“Seriously, Andy! Let go!” she exclaimed, tugging her arm from his grip, but he tightened his hold on her and walked towards the bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed and within the blink of the eye, she was across his knee. He raised the skirt of her dress, bunching it up by her torso and pulled her panties down her legs, puddling them on the floor.

“Andy! What are you doing?!” she gasped.

He just caressed her naked butt, squeezing it every now and then while she kept wiggling, trying to get out of his hold, but his grip was tight on her. 

“Y/N” he said, his voice calm, reminding her of the calmness that comes before a storm. 

“Now, tell me what’s bothering you” Andy told her.

“Nothing!” she exclaimed, lying through her teeth, still wiggling.

Andy’s eyes hardened and he grabbed her arms by the wrists and held them at her back, obstructing her movements.

“Fine then. If you don’t tell me, I’ll get it out of you, myself” he said coldly and his hand left her butt but her breath was quickly knocked out of her lungs when his hand met her butt-cheek with a sharp slap. 

That was the first time he ever did that to her. The cheek burned while her lips parted in shock and her entire body stilled for a second. Andy caressed the other cheek and slapped it too, with more force than the first spank and a low whimper got caught in her throat. He kept delivering the spanks to each cheek alternatively. She didn’t know how many times he did that. She didn’t bother to count. Her mind was too much in shock to even register that.

After some time, Andy stopped spanking her, seeing the tears that pooled in her eyes. He hated doing this, hurting her but he didn’t like it one bit when she withdrew herself from him. He knew that he had to fix whatever that is bothering her. He can’t bear it when she’s troubled. 

He softly caressed her but cheeks and asked “Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you, now, sweetheart?”

Y/N scowled, with tears in her eyes and replied a resonating “No!”

Andy chuckled hearing that.

“Well, at least it’s a no this time and not a nothing” he said and her eyes widened hearing it.

“That’s progress” he added and hummed letting his fingers go down to her folds.

“Someone’s been enjoying this” he said, his fingers playing with her with folds while she squirmed.

His fingers soon found her clit and kept rubbing tight circles on it, making a coil form in her stomach and just before it was about to snap, he stopped, making her whimper.

“Are you going to tell me now?” he asked her slowly.

She just turned her head away is response.

It wasn’t long before he started playing with her folds again, dipping his finger into the wet hole, thrusting into it. He edged her four times like that, stopping right before she could climax and asking her if she’s gonna tell him and she’d just whimper or groan in response, shaking her head. The fifth time he edged her and stopped right before the orgasm hit her, she kicked her legs, crying, her lady parts sensitive, her body flushed.

“I don’t like being mean to you, sweetheart. Please tell me what’s bothering you” he told her softly, leaning down and kissing the back of her head. 

And she told him, bearing her heart out to him. She told him that she loved him and was scared that in the end she’d end up with a broken heart and was trying to protect herself from it, that she knew that these type of arrangements - what they had usually don’t last and was scared that she’d end up trying to mend her heart back while sobbing. He eventually let her hands go, but made her sit in his lap while she cried into his shoulder, all the while he kept caressing her back, her hair while kissing the side of her head. He waited till her cries stopped to break the news to her.

“You had me worried there, baby. And I thought it was something that I did” he said, making her sit straight in his lap and look at him with a frown etched on her face.

“You’re not calling off the arrangement?” she asked him, looking dumbfound.

Andy laughed in response and cupped her face, saying “And let you go? Never! I fucking love you and I’m never going to let you go. You’re stick with me sweetheart, and got me wrapped around your finger,” and kissed her passionately, pouring all his love and feelings for her.

#Defending Jacob #andy barber x reader #andy barber #sugar daddy andy barber #sugar daddy! andy barber #sugar daddy!andy barber #smut #mean andy barber

[lily-themadqueen-andpinky]

NSFW Alphabet Daryl Dixon - dirty mindstuff

stupidly without all the gifs... because dumblr is an asshole.... you have to use your mind for that, sorry

want to read more dirty Daryl stuff? FIND IT HERE

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after )

It’s only at this point that Daryl is able to let go and relax completely. After he has reached his climax and snuggling up panting to you like there's no tomorrow, you can feel every time you stroke his hair, how the tension, his fears and worries fall away from him and ideally stay away from him until the next day.  Sometimes you have the feeling that he enjoys the after much more than the actual act.  

Every time you feel his sweaty forehead and his hot breath on your skin, the world stops for a moment. When he buries his face safely on your neck, there is no apocalypse, no walkers, and no constant danger. In this moment there are only the two of you, and he tries to hold on to that as long as possible.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Every inch of your shoulders and your neck. Mostly because he loves to bury his face in it when you're in bed or when he hugs you, always holding you close.

On the other hand, he enjoys the fact that you melt like butter in his hands when he places gentle and soft kisses on this spot.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

The apocalypse, his not very happy childhood, his self-doubts; all this makes him always afraid that you might get pregnant. Daryl will always try to make sure that he doesn't come inside you. He enjoys it much more when you kneel in front of him and suck every drop out of him with a soft moan.

But sometimes (if he is lost in his thoughts or his day has been very shitty) it happens that he miss the moment to pull out of you in time . After that he usually lies frozen in your arms and doesn't say a word. No matter how much you try to talk to him, to explain that everything is okay, he is so obsessed by this fear that it literally paralyzes him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

One thing: His bike

He would love to thrust into you as hard as he can while sitting on his bike, grab your hair tight, pull you to him while he rams into you over and over again without a break.

While you would desperately try to find a hold somewhere on the bike, he would make sure with one last hard push that your moaning is nothing more than a desperate whimper. Without worry, without fear, he wants to come deep inside you and enjoy every second of your twitching walls.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is not inexperienced, but his uncertainty and lack of self-confidence slowed him down quite a bit at first. He was always afraid to do something wrong or to hurt you by mistake.

As a result, he became reluctant and didn't really dare to touch you the way he would have liked to. Over time and with your help, he learned to trust himself and quickly found out that he did much better than he thought he would. And damn, when this man unleashes his talents, you will end up being a whimpering mess.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anywhere where he can hold you close

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He doesn't make a joke of it, but there can things happening , where even he can't help but say a few words and has to laugh.

If you are in the shower and one of you stumbles, or when he keeps ramming into you at a fast pace from behind and you almost bang your head on the tabletop, because you slip away with your hand and lose your balance. There are a few situations where you both have to smile.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I don't think Daryl is really interested in how long or how short the hair is. Whether it's on himself or you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He will always hold you close. You are always somehow caught in his firm grip and covered with his kisses, as if he wanted to merge with you.

And if the position allows it, he will always search for your gaze, kiss your lips until they burn, and almost every groan goes down in his kisses.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Daryl has never been one to masturbate often, because he needs the closeness and bonding to get into the mood. It was only when he discovered how important you are to him that he started to feel the need to touch himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He has a thing for when you moan his name hoarsely, while you painfully cling to his hair when you come, deeply looking into his eyes. This bittersweet pain coupled with the knowledge that he has pushed you over the edge is like an obsession for him and he will try to achieve exactly that every time.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

It doesn't really matter to him where you do it. For him only two things are important: That you feel comfortable and that you are safe (at least what you can call safe in a world full of man-eating monsters).

An old warehouse, the driver's cab of a truck, an abandoned house: All this doesn't matter, as long as he can make sure that no bad surprises are waiting for you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

There are two things that turn Daryl on.

Number one is when you are close to him, physically and much more mentally and that happens quite often. When you sit on his lap, showing him how he means to you. When you take him in your arms after a stressful day without words and hold him tight for as long as he needs it. When you understand each other without words, and just sit in silence next to each other, and all of a sudden you snuggle up to him. All these small and yet so important things turn him on more than anything else and turn very quickly into hot kisses and naked facts.

Number two: His bike ( yes again, sorry )

Whenever you are together on the bike, it always comes to his mind what he would like to do with you on it, and that is a great motivator for Daryl, so that it's hard for him to keep his hands off you sometimes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

It's clear to me that he would never risk hurting you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves both giving and receiving.

He loves it when you kneel before him and moan in a low voice while you suck him off and gently massage his balls. Every time you roll your tongue over his tip, he shivers and grabs your hair even tighter while he enjoys every second of this sight. Which in turn makes you work on his cock all the more energetically and you could make him come pretty quickly. And even if he moans in frustration and begs you with his gaze to continue: He loves it when you tease him, push him to his limits and always stop just before he comes. Until finally, with a deep groan, he spills his warm cum in your mouth.

But he also loves to fix you on the ground with his firm grip on your hip. And in addition to this, forcing your legs to stay open for him while he sucks hard on your clit, while your shaking body keeps trying to bear the overwhelming feeling somehow. And of course also here he loves it when you cling hard to his hair when your whole body keeps on trembling uncontrollably while you come whimpering for him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on his mood. Sometimes he enjoys pushing slowly and deeply into you and covering your body with gentle kisses. But in the same way, in some moments he has no problem with just pull your pants down, bend you over the table and fuck you hard and fast, as long as he knows you are ok with it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Due to the fact that the way he fucks you depends a lot on his mood, he won't have a problem with a quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He loves to experiment and find new ways to satisfy you, but he doesn't want to take any risks that could hurt you or bring you in danger, no matter which ones.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This also depends very much on his mood and how he feels. If he is relaxed and not tormented by many thoughts, he can please you the whole night until you can´t walk the next day.

But if he is stressed, it might also happen that after a few minutes everything is over. But that doesn't mean that he is finished. He always makes sure that you have pleasure too. After all, there are still his fingers and his tongue with which he can drive you crazy.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I mean, we're in a postapocalyptic world, right? There aren't many toys, and finding some isn't a priority. But Daryl is also very creative and manages to make you squirm with just simple things like a regular candle or something.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is only sometimes teasing you, simply because it is more a torture for him than for you. He desperately wants to hear you moan, feel your trembling, taste your body, so that it´s nearly unbearable for him to tease you really.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Daryl isn't someone who is really loud during sex. His panting is quiet and hectic with his hot breath hitting your skin. Before a loud moaning escapes his throat, he buries his face on your body, biting and somehow clinging to you so that his moaning is absorbed by your skin.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Come on, we've all looked at it, even if nobody admits it. (I mean, why else would there be a scene in Death Stranding where Sam beats you up after staring at his crotch several times?) I mean, you can tell he's well-built. But based on the fact that there are growers and showers, I think he's pretty average and not unrealistic like a porn actor.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Even though he usually lies on top of you and cuddles up to you, he is very cautious that you fall asleep before him. Only when your hand is resting heavily on his shoulder or head, and the caressing through his hair has stopped, he allows himself to fall asleep as well.

#daryl dixon #darylxreader #daryl x reader #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl imagine #alphabet #dirty mindstuff #daryl dixon smut #daryl smut

[your-denki-kun]

Issues

Katsuki x Denki x Eijirou x Reader

Warning: Mentioning of past abuse, Nightmares, Panic attack

Word count: 2.9K

A/N: If you have any requests they’re welcome. I hope you enjoy this shitty thing I wrote a bit back.

~3rd person pov.~

You don't know why you thought this was smart, but you're moving in with your three boyfriends. It's not like you don't love them or anything, you love them dearly. You just have a lot of issues and a bad past you didn't tell them about. Sure, they know you get anxious and jumpy from time to time, but not why or how bad it can get.

You don't want to tell them why you're like this and just how broken you are or why you live on your own. Well, until now. Truth be told you escaped the house you grew up in as soon as you turned eighteen. You started working at the flowershop you met them in to pay for rent and live was fine from there on.

Right now you're standing in front of their small mansion with two boxes in hand. The rest of your stuff is already here. Every time you came you would take some things and put it in their house. These boxes are filled with your last things and you're nervous. As soon as you walk in you'll be officially living with them.

Taking a deep breathe you open the door and are met with chaos. Denki is running around the living room, holding what seems to be the TV remote in his hands, laughing loudly as Katsuki is running after him, small explosions forming in his palm as he curses at Denki. Eijirou is just sitting on the couch and watching them with a smile.

You close the door and place your boxes down by the shoes and coats that are beside the door. As soon as you walk inside you walk into the living room, kitchen and dining area. There is a hall to the right with the bedrooms and bathrooms. Attached to the living room are big slider doors leading to the back yard.

You silently walk into the kitchen and grab a glass, filling it with water as you glance at your boyfriends antics. It brings a gentle smile to your face. You place your now empty glass on the counter of the island and rest your elbows on it, resting your head on your hands. Katsuki manages to take the remote from Denki, causing the later to whine.

''Hah!'' Katsuki smirks.

''Can we now finaly change the channel?'' Eijirou asks with a smile.

''Sure.'' Katsuki says as he flops onto the couch and starts surfing through the channels.

Denki gets up from the couch which he dramatically collapsed to when loosing the remote. His eyes widen when he sees you standing in the kitchen. Soon his face of shock gets replaced with a big, radiant smile as he walks over to you with fast, steady steps. Eijirou and Katsuki just ignore him as Eijirou commends on something on the TV.

''Pichu.'' Denki smiles as he reaches you and wraps his arms around your waist.

You lean back against him as you place your hands over his and close your eyes. Denki plants a kiss on the side of your head before burying his face in your neck, tickling your neck with his hot breaths. You giggle softly as you open your eyes and look down at your hands. You intertwine your fingers with his with a gentle smile.

''Hey Pikachu.'' You whisper.

''When did you get here?'' Denki whispers against your neck, his lips brushing over it.

''I walked in on Suki chasing you.''

''Hmm. I missed you.'' He mumbles, holding you closer.

''You saw me yesterday.'' You giggle.

''Still.'' He pouts, looking at you with puppy eyes and his bottom lip jutted out.

''I missed you too.'' You say sweetly as you kiss his cheek.

''I know. I'm irresistible.'' Denki smirks as he breaks his hug.

''Weeeell.....'' You say, dragging the word out and becoming silent.

''Oh come on. Why does no one love me today?'' He grumbles in a childish manner.

''I love you. Sorry, Pika.'' You say as you quickly wrap your arms around his torso and bury your face in his chest.

''Love you too, Pichu.'' He smiles as he hugs you back.

''Hey, De-Pebble!'' Eijirou's voice cheers.

You break your hug with Denki and look at the living room to see Eijirou and Katsuki getting up and walking over. Eijirou has a bright smile on his face as he walks over and wraps his strong arms around you and pulls you close. You wrap your arms around him and melt into his touch. Katsuki reaches the two of you and joins the hug, Denki doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lately you've been experiencing quite a lot of stress. You know this can trigger panic attacks, break downs and nightmares. Normally you would curl up in bed with your heated, weighted blanket and your stuffed animal, but Katsuki told you to get rid of them. You did it, you brought them to one of those thrift shops.

You really wish you didn't right now. You know that soon you'll have one of those three things and you're dreading that moment, which doesn't help at all. You're laying in bed, cuddled up to Eijirou's chest and Denki is spooning you. Katsuki is spooning Denki. You release a breath and close your eyes, letting sleep take over.

~Dream/flashback~

You walk into your house, old school uniform on and your backpack on your back. The house is silent as you close the door and take off your shoes. You walk up to your room and place down your bag. You don't have homework seeing you worked hard at school and walk back out of your room.

As soon as you round the corner to walk into the living room you feel someone punching your stomach, making you fall on your butt as your eyes widen. You look up to see your mother standing there with a menacing smirk on her face as she walks over. You can see the anger in her eyes and feel your body tremble.

''M-Mother.'' You stammer, scrambling back until your back hits the wall.

''What the fuck are you doing here?'' She asks as he keeps walking over to you.

''S-School finished and I don't have work t-today.'' You stammer.

''So you come here? I'm having people over and I don't want you anywhere near the fucking house. All you do is scare off my boyfriends.'' She smirks.

''D-Dad is coming back t-today.''

''I know. He can join. You, you need to leave however. Can't have them seeing my biggest mistake.'' She grins as she crouches down and harshly holds you chin in between her index finger and thumb.

Just as you're about to say something the door gets thrown open. Your mother gets up and walks over to the door. As you glance over you see your father and a feeling of dread takes over. You try to stand up, but your limbs are shaking to much, making you drop to the floor right away. Your mom starts making out with him as he squeezes her butt.

You look down at the floor as you hear them starting to pant as they make out and tear of each others clothes. As soon as your dad notices you he stops and walks over to you, hitting you hard before the both of them start beating the shit out of you as they laugh. You just lay down on the ground, curl into a ball and bring your arms up to your head to protect you head.

''No...Stop....No...No!...Stop! No!

~Dream/flashback end~

STOP!!''

You shoot up, panting heavily. You look around yourself as you bring one hand up to your chest and grip your shirt tightly. Once you notice you're in the room you share with your boyfriends you calm down a bit and pull your hands through your hair as you close your eyes and look down, trying to catch your breath.

''Pebble? You okay?'' Eijirou's voice asks.

You look up and see he's sitting beside you, looking at you worried. You feel something move and your head snaps to your right. You see Denki and Katsuki sitting up, confused sounds leaving them as they start waking up. Eijirou places his hand on your back, causing you to tens as your breathing gets even faster.

''Pebble, hey. Look at me, what's going on?'' He asks worried as he moves even closer.

You crawl away from them and to the foot end. You pull your legs up to your chest and hug them close as you start rocking your body back and forth as you breath heavily, trying to get some air into your burning lungs. Katsuki and Denki look at you shocked, sleep long forgoten when they see the state you're in.

''Teddy bear? Oi! What the fuck is wrong?'' Katsuki asks.

You don't respond, eyes darting around the room. Eijirou's eyes tear up as he look at Katsuki, Denki doing the same. Katsuki looks at Denki before looking at Eijirou. He looks back at you and wracks his brain for an explanation. As he takes you in completely and stares at you for a bit he realizes you're having a panic attack. He carefully moves closer and sits in front of you, not touching you.

''Teddy bear. Hey, look at me.'' Your glazed over eyes dart to him. ''Good, listen to me. I need you to take some deep breathes. Can you do that?'' You shake your head as tears start streaming down your face. ''Okay, follow my lead. In..1...2...3...4...5...6. Hold..1...2...3...4. Out. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8. Good, now repeat.''

You shakily nod as you try your best to repeat what Katsuki told you to do. Eijirou and Denki want to crawl over as well, but Katsuki glares at them and shakes his head. Their eyes sadden, but they nod as they watch the two of you. Katsuki looks back at you to see your breathing slowly evens out as you start calming down.

''Good job. You're doing great. Can I touch you?'' You shake your head. ''Okay, then I won't. Just keep breathing.''

You close your eyes as you stop rocking yourself and hold yourself less tight. As your breathing finally evens out you open your eyes again and look up at Katsuki. He just smiles at you as he nods once. You glance to your left and see Eijirou and Denki smiling at you with sad smiles, tears brimming their eyes. You look down as your eyes tear up slightly.

''Oi, what's wrong?'' Katsuki asks surprisingly soft.

''Sorry.'' You whisper, voice a bit raspy from before.

''What are you sorry for, Pebble?'' Eijirou asks softly.

''Everything.''

''No need to be sorry. Did you have a nightmare, Pichu?'' Denki asks softly to which you nod.

''What about?'' Eijirou asks.

''N-Nothing.'' You stammer, pupils dilating.

''You just had a fucking panic attack. That nightmare was not about nothing.'' Katsuki grumbles.

''I-I'm fine now.''

''You're shaking, Pichu.''

''Denki's right. You're shaking. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need anything?'' Eijirou asks as he moves closer a bit.

You contemplate. You need your heated, weighted blanket and your stuffy. Your eyes tear up slightly as you look at the closet. You stumble off the bed and walk over to it, rummaging through it. You shove around the clothes and throw some things out, looking for the box you hid somewhere in the closet.

''Come on. Where is it? Shit. Where is it?'' You mumble softly as you walk over to the dresser and open the drawers, emptying them.

''Oi! What the fuck do you think you're doing?'' Katsuki growls.

You freeze on your spot, slowly standing up straight before looking over your shoulder at Katsuki, Eijirou and Denki. Katsuki looks annoyed while Denki and Eijirou look at you with a raised brow. You turn your body to them and look down at the ground, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you play with your finger tips.

''What are you looking for?'' Denki asks softly as he carefully walks over.

''M-My box.'' You whisper softly, not looking up from the ground.

''The (f/c) one?'' Denki asks softly as he walks over to the closet.

''Yeah.'' You whisper as you glance at him.

Denki nods and reaches into the closet, lifting up some clothes before grabbing your box. He walks over with a smile. You nod your head in thanks and take the box of him. You sit down on the ground, legs tugged underneath you. You carefully remove the lid from the box and place it on the floor like it's made of glass.

The three males look at you with wonder as Denki sits on the floor in front of you, legs crossed. Eijirou and Katsuki walk over as well and sit on either side of Denki as you reach into the box. In it are polaroid pictures and letters. You grab them and start skimming through them. Slowly a smile makes its way onto your face.

''What are those?'' Eijirou asks softly.

You tens up slightly and look up at them. You squirm slightly before handing over the stack of pictures and letters. Denki gently takes them from you as you place your hands on your lap and look down. Denki starts looking through the pictures to see they are pictures of you and them that you took over the three and a half years you've been dating.

Denki smiles at the pictures before going to the letters. They're the letters they send you before you all started dating. They had met you at a flowershop once when they went to buy flowers. They had been intrigued by you and started leaving letters at your work for you before they worked up the courage to give you their numbers.

After that they would send letters just for the sake of it and because they enjoyed it. As Denki looks through the letters he sees you kept all of the letters they gave you. They all look at you with surprised and loving eyes. Eijirou moves over to you and hugs you. At first you tens, but soon you relax into them.

''You kept them all.'' Katsuki states.

''Yeah.''

''Why?'' Katsuki asks, he genuinely doesn't understand.

''Because they are important to me. They always made me smile and they still do. When....When I feel bad I look at the pictures and letters and feel better. I'm sorry I woke you guys up and made you guys worry.'' You explain as Denki and Katsuki move closer.

''It's fine. Are you ready to explain the nightmare?'' Eijirou asks as he plays with your hair.

''It was about my past.'' You whisper as you break your hug with Eijirou and cuddle up to Katsuki, his heat grounding you.

''Oh?'' Eijirou and Denki ask.

''My parents...They aren't nice. I left as soon as I was eighteen. They...They would beat me whenever they found I did something wrong. When I get stressed I tend to get nightmares, panic attacks and break downs. I woke up from a bad nightmare and when you touched me it send me into a panic attack. Sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner.'' You whisper, holding Katsuki close.

He plays with your hair as the three of them stay silent. They don't know what to do or say. Katsuki slightly sways from side to side absentmindedly as he cradles you in his arms. It's oddly calming to you. You close your eyes as you slowly fall back asleep, a feeling of safety washing over you.

''It’s okay, Pichu.'' Denki whispers.

''We understand, Pebble.'' Eijirou says just before you fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opening your eyes you're met with the sun peeking through the blinds. You groan as you turn your back to the window and close your eyes again, curling into the blanket and trying to fall back asleep. Chuckling prevents you from doing so however. You open your eyes and glance at the door to see Eijirou chuckling with a smile as he looks at you.

''Morning.'' You mumble, closing your eyes again.

''Morning Baby. Did you sleep okay?'' Eijirou asks as he walks over to you.

''Yeah.'' You mumble, reaching out to Eijirou.

He chuckles and takes your hand in his. You pull him onto the bed, causing a surprised yelp to escape the redhead. You cuddle up to him, mumbling about how he's warm and comfortable. Eijirou smiles and wraps his arms around you, planting a kiss on the top of your head as he holds you close.

''Oi, you were supposed to wake them up, not fall asleep with them.'' Katsuki sighs from the door.

''Comfy.'' you mumble as you cuddle up closer to Eijirou.

''Cut them some slack, Kat. They're still tired and it’s our day off.'' Eijirou whines.

''Exactly, I want to go on a fucking date with you extra's. At this rate me and Dunce face are the only ones going.'' Katsuki grumbles as he walks over.

''Mmm, love you Suki.'' You mumble, knowing it will calm him down.

''Yeah, yeah. Just get the fuck up and get ready for the date.'' Katsuki grumbles.

''Are they up yet?'' Denki's voice sounds from the door.

''Half. They’re still a bit tired.'' Eijirou hums.

''Aww, I want cuddles too.'' Denki whines as he lays down behind you and spoons you.

''Jesus fuck. We're going on a fucking date!'' Katsuki exclaims desperately.

''We still have a bit of time left, Kat. Just let them rest for a bit more. They had a rough night.'' Eijirou meddles as he pulls Katsuki onto the bed.

''Fine, we're cuddling, but as soon as it's time to leave we're leaving.'' He grumbles as he lays down comfortably.

''Mhm.'' You all hum back to him.

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #Kirishima Eijirou #eijirou kirishima #kirishima x reader #eijirou x reader #Kaminari Denki #denki kaminari #kaminari x reader #denki x reader #kiribakukami #kiribakukami x reader #this is crappy

[writers-blogck]

Ex's and Bo's ( Bokuto Koutarou x Reader )

Warning(s): Probably the most in-depth kiss scene I have ever written? Not really nsfw in any way, maybe a little making out????? Also, expect some spam in the coming days. I had been super busy and unable to actually post my haitober stuff so, here comes the flood! Title: Ex's and Bo's Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader  Fandom: Haikyuu! Word Count: 2,506

        Life sucked. 

        Even the weather outside was agreeing with you as rain poured down, soaking anything that dared to be out. You were laying on your bed with as many blankets wrapped around you as possible as if the soft fabric could absorb all of your bad feelings. 

        How long had you wasted when you were dating your ex-boyfriend? You knew he wasn't good for you, you knew that from the start. But, what were you supposed to do when he was the first person to really show you any attention? He liked you in a way that was more than friends. When you had gone so long, watching everyone else get together while you were stuck on the sidelines, you couldn't believe that someone liked you. It was easy to ignore the red flags when you were just so excited that someone liked you. 

        Even though you were the one that broke up with him, it still hurt. It hurt because you felt stupid for ever agreeing to be in a relationship with him. It hurt because even though he was never good for you, you still thought he cared about you in some way. Yet, he had decided to go behind your back and flirt with some other girls. He thought you wouldn't figure it out. He must have thought you were stupid and you were starting to wonder if he was right? 

        "Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop being sad because your best friends are here!" Bokuto yelled as he walked into your room, trailed behind by Akaashi. If this was the first time they came to visit, you would be worried that your parents would get annoyed by the yelling but they had come to accept it now. It was impossible to have Bokuto over and expect to keep a quiet house. "We are going to take that frown and turn it upside!" 

        You forgot that you had texted either one of them. It started with a simple text to Bokuto, a single meme picture that hinted at how you felt. After fifteen minutes, Bokuto had already pulled the entire truth from you and invited himself and Akaashi over to take care of you. 

        "Bokuto, calm down." Akaashi slapped his friend's shoulder to pull him down from his energetic state. He had been crazy when he picked Akaashi up, ranting about how he would totally beat your ex up and how they had to make you feel better. He didn't say anything along the lines of a plan for making you feel better but he was as confident as he was on the court. You had helped him through his emo times and so it was his job to do the same thing for you. 

        The loud third year flopped down on your bed, arms wrapping around your waist to playfully tickle your sides. He knew you were ticklish and he was using it against you! It was hard to keep a frown on your face as you struggled not to burst out laughing. With his own loud laughter, Bokuto rolled over to pull you ontop of him with your back pressing against his chest. 

        "Come on, give us a smile! I'm not gonna stop until you smile for me!" He shouted, keeping you trapped like a turtle on its back. Somehow you were able to squirm out of his hold and quickly hid behind Akaashi, using him as a human shield. His face was as stoic as ever, shaking his head slightly at his friend's antics. 

        "We meant to go to the store before coming here but Bokuto couldn't wait." Akaashi sighed, glancing over his shoulder to look at you, "I was planning on bringing him here so you can babysit him while I go back out and get some stuff for us to eat. Maybe watching a toddler will help you get your thoughts off of your ex." 

        "I am not a toddler!" Bokuto sat up, arms hanging loosely with his hands in his lap. 

        "Do you want snacks or not?" 

        "....Yes please." 

        It was funny watching the two best friends communicate with each other as you rubbed your tear stained cheeks. It was easy to forget what you were crying about when you had the two of them around. This wouldn't be the first time they got you through a hard time. When you had sprained your ankle during your own volleyball practice, Bokuto (and Akaashi, when were they ever really apart?) was there in no time with your favorite drink and gave you piggyback rides to and from school for a week. 

        Akaashi gave you a questioning look, waiting until you nodded to leave your room. Nobody knew how much Bokuto could be more than this setter. He wasn't going to leave you alone with him if it was going to be too much for you. They were here to make you feel better, he didn't want to stress you out or make things worse. His friend may not always think things through but he did. 

        Golden eyes followed your form as you sat down beside Bokuto, a small huff escaping your lips. Silence had fallen over the room once Akaashi shut the door and you were reminded of why they had come over. The chaos of their intial apperence was fading and the pleasant distraction from a few moments ago was gone. You sighed, staring at your own lap in thought. Bokuto looked like a lost puppy, unsure of what he should do. He didn't like this feeling, he never liked seeing you this way. He felt helpless.

        You moved to lay on your back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Were you sad? It was hard to tell...Everything was going to be fine, this was just one small relationship but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. 

        "It sucks..." Your voice was soft, eyes fluttering shut. 

        "Yeah, I know." You could feel the bed dip as Bokuto took the spot next to you, laying on his back and taking up the rest of the space on your small bed. You didn't mind the proximity, his warmth was nice. Even without saying anything, the simple touches that were being shared between the two of you was comforting. The brushing of arms, the hints of sides pressed against each other. You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that in silence but after what felt like an eternity, you heard the creeking of the bed and a presence hovering over you. Cue you opening your eyes and almost fall off your bed when you see Bokuto's signature grin. 

        While the lower half of his body was still on his side of the bed, he was now holding his upperhalf above you with those strong muscles of his. Wait...What? You would be lying if you said that you hadn't snuck peeks of the ace during his practices. To you, Bokuto was never an option because he was just so more. The two of you were so close that the idea of doing anything more than playful flirting was nonexistent. He was just...Bokuto. 

        As he looked down at you with such caring eyes, you thought that maybe you were wrong. It made your stomach flip from the proximity between the two of you. This had never happened before. The two of you had laid on each other in the past, whether it was you laying with your head on his chest or Bokuto flopped on his stomach, laying over your legs. You had done that without blinking an eye but here he was, not even touching you in any way but still making you feel this flustered. 

        "You know this has nothing to do with you, right? You didn't do anything wrong." Bokuto spoke in a level voice, sounding more serious that he ever had. It was rare you saw this side of him. It was rare for anyone to see this side of him.

        "You are one of the best people I know. It isn't right that this happened to you and I swear, 'Kaashi and I will do whatever we need to until you are back to being the same amazing person we know."

        "I just, I feel so stupid Bo. I don't want to be sad over this jerk but I can't help it. It hurts...This is shitty. It isn't fair that he decided to lead me on. When...When I was breaking up with him, he said that he never cared. He just thought I was pretty and wanted to fool around. Why do people have to lie? It isn't nice..." Tears were streaming down your face now, blurring your vision until all you could see were the splashes of color of Bokuto's eyes. 

        Bokuto moved all of his weight onto his one forearm so he could cup your face with his now free hand. His thumb brushed over a stray tear, frowning. He didn't know what to do, you were too good of a person to be hurt like this. You should be treasured like the precious person that you were. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say. He never was good with his words so he decided to act instead. 

        He kissed you. 

        It was a quick peck and nothing more. As you stared up at him, you were greeted with wide eyes mirroring your own confusion. You didn't know why he did it and he didn't know why either. Three seconds passed, three heartbeats passed, and then you pulled the boy back down to capture his lips once again. A spark shot through you, ignatiting a fire in your stomach that you didn't know you have. 

        Small gasps were exchanged in the quick moments the two of you pulled away. His hand ran down from your cheek to gently caress at your neck, causing a shiver to run through you. Bokuto was very outgoing with all of his actions but here he was, slowly dancing his lips along your own with gentle contemplation. The flush of your cheeks changed from being due to crying to something else, something that even your ex had never made you feel. Perhaps deep down you knew that you weren't meant to be with him. 

        As one of Bokuto's hands was placed right next to your head, his free hand slowly snuck under your loose shirt to ghost over your skin warm. His thumb traced over your top rib, just hinting where he could touch if he only moved a few inches higher. His rough and calloused palm from spiking ran over your smooth stomach, causing your breath to hitch and shivers to run up your spine. This was not how you thought today was going to go, but you weren't going to complain. 

        "Bo..." You whined, head tilting to the side as his lips attacked the soft skin of your neck. His teeth were nipping with just enough pressure for you to feel it, tongue soothing the area just as quickly. Bokuto was like a man dying of thirst and you were the oasis shimmering before him. 

        His kisses started at your jaw with nothing more than butterfly kisses but he slowly began to suck your delicate skin the further he went down. Simple kisses turned into ones with the intent on leaving purple marks that would remind you of that night. It wasn't until he reached just below your collarbone that his teeth nipped your skin enough for a small sting to be left but Bokuto didn't give you any time to focus on that feeling before he was kissing your skin again. 

        When had Bokuto learned how to do something like this? For all you knew, the boy hadn't dated anyone before. He never mentioned any late-night meetings with anyone. He had told you and Akaashi the first time he had kissed a girl (A girl had kissed him to convince some creep that they were dating. They were not). The owl was so excited, just going on and on how soft girls' lips were. He wasn't even talking about that girl specifically. He just went on a rant the next day at school about how amazing girls were. It was cute.

        "I always thought that guy was terrible for you," He gasped out in between kisses, golden eyes staring up at you with such an intensity that only Bokuto could have, "Every time you complained about him, I always wanted to say how I would be so much better for you, but 'Kaashi always said that I was being overprotective." 

        A laugh escaped your swollen lips, the butterflies in your stomach being released. No longer were you feeling too shocked about what was going on. There was no way to keep yourself from getting flustered by the boy's actions but now you could enjoy it. You didn't have to feel guilty that you had just broken up with your boyfriend and that this would just mean you were sleazy. The nagging voice of your ex was slowly disappearing and Bokuto's voice was taking its place. 

        "But I was totally right, right?" His head pulled back, putting most of his weight onto his hand pushed against the bed so he was hovering over you once again. The gentle caresses evolved into Bokuto gripping your side as if afraid that if he let go, you would fade away like a ghost. 

        "Right." Your hands that had been gripping at the boy's shirt moved to wrap around his neck to pull him back down for a kiss. Your confidence was growing and that only egged Bokuto on to go further. Every action started with hesitation but as soon as you gave any sign of the go-ahead, the boy would go at it with everything he had. People couldn't say that Bokuto didn't try his best in everything that he cared about, that's for sure. 

        But all good things can't last forever and Akaashi could only take so long getting the snacks. 

        "I'm coming in so stop making out or whatever." Akaashi pounded on the door, causing Bokuto to jump like he was more of a cat than an owl. You shot up to fix your shirt as Bokuto pushed himself away. He may be an amazing volleyball player but he wasn't always the best at remembering his surroundings as a loud thump resounded in the room. Akaashi walked into the room to see you, still on your bed with red cheeks and heavy breaths, and Bokuto laying on his back on the ground, his foot being the only part still on the bed. Akaashi only sighed, walking in with the goodies he had gotten from the store. 

        You couldn't help but wonder what could have happened if the dark-haired boy hadn't interrupted. The thoughts of your ex were all but forgotten and replaced with the excitement of the future that awaited you with Bokuto.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haitober #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu! imagines #haikyuu!! fanfiction #haikyuu scenarios #bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto koutarou x reader #akaashi headcanons

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Unpopular Opinion /lh /rp

Talking about dSMP character’s heights and sort of their body types? Not in a weird way just in a ‘how I imagine them’ way. Loosely based off of their irl heights, but some of them I don’t know, so it’s mostly guesswork and vibes. Also if you disagree you’re wrong. (Just kidding leave your ideas in the tags/replies)

Obviously this is all roleplay/character stuff. None of it is intended to be weird or to reflect on the irl people! I’m just having fun with headcanons :)

Tommy is 6′3 and very very lanky. This child is not short. Stop drawing him short. He’s taller than Techno. He’s not as tall as Wilbur, but he’s tall. He towers over most people. Emphasis on most because everyone is so tall on this server what the hell? 

Anyway I think the mental image of this super tall kid actively trying to make himself look shorter/smaller is heartbreaking. Like imagine him curled up into a corner trying to make himself as unnoticable as possible in Logsted. Imagine him slouching when living with Techno to try to make himself seem like less of a ‘problem’. Imagine Dream telling him that he’s a ‘big strong man’ and that he shouldn’t need help, he can defend himself, so when he goes back to Tubbo, he tries to make himself look *tiny* as a cry for help. He wants comfort.

But he’s also incedibly skinny. Back in L’manburg and Pogtopia, he developed some muscle from all the fighting. His shoulders broadened out and he looked slightly intimidating. But like most teenage boys, he was still lanky as hell. This only got worse when he was exiled to Logstedshire, with little food (and no drive to eat the food, or get up, or exersise) he became more malnourished and he just looked *small* despite being 6′3. This probably isn’t helped by the constant use of golden apples when he moves in with Techno, which give him energy and strength but no real nutritional value. Techno was just trying to get the kid to eat normally. When he finally stands at his full height, Techno is shocked that he didn’t notice all the slouching.

Anyway Techno is 6′2. He’s taller than a lot of people but not as tall as his brothers. He makes up for this with muscle and strength and a healthy body. Wow, the only healthy person on the server. Amazing. You love to see it. Good for him. He could win in a battle of raw strength against anyone else on the server. He’s quite broad, which makes him look bigger generally.

Wilbur is 6′5 and also he is a stick. Just. Straight up and down stick. Nothing there! He is just a pale sickly stick. This gets worse the further into the timeline you go. When claiming L’manburg and fighting in the war he starts to get insomnia, causing him to look like a corpse half the time. When in Pogtopia, he’s too busy to take care of himself properly, so he only looks worse and worse. His hair is a mess, his skin is far too pale, and he only eats enough to be able to hold his own in a short fight. There’s a reason he doesn’t wear armour or really try to fight at all. He’s subconciously self-destructive, then actively so when he blows the place to the ground. He’s always been too busy for self-care.

Ghostbur is a much more healthy, younger version of Wilbur. I would say he’s ‘water rising’ era Wilbur. The life returned to his body, in a morbid kind of way. He’s still tall but he prefers to make himself seem shorter just to be less threatening.

Phil is 5′11. He has an average build, with slight muscle from the years of playing in hardcore. He’s older, now, but he can still kick your ass. Also, he taught Techno how to fight smart, not hard. He doesn’t need to be super strong because he’s intelligent enough to outwit most people on the server. He has a wordly knowledge that others don’t possess. He also has wings, large and grey, clipped so he could get onto the server (there is a no flying rule after all).

Fundy is... 5′10, just a little shorter than Phil. His fox genes make him smaller, despite his father being 6′5. He’s got a healthy, svelte build. He’s sneaky and light on his feet. In the wars he built up some muscle, but it was quickly lost since he prefers to take a backseat to any fighting outside of those times (especially now) and he’s built for spying.

Schlatt is an interesting one because a lot of people are gonna fight me on this, but he’s not actually old. Everyone calls him old but honestly I think he’s younger than Wilbur (in canon, I feel like Wilbur is in his late 30s, early 40s, simply because). I think Schlatt’s around 35-ish, but he looks older due to his shitty health. People call him an old man either to demean him or because they see his actions and appearance and go ‘yeah, this guy is old’. Which is fair enough, because irl Schlatt and c!Schlatt both act like they’re from the 1950s.

This guy looks like shit by the end, but he looks alright at the start. Slicked-back hair, sharp ram horns, golden animalistic eyes. He’s intimidating. And loud. Then everything shifts, right towards the end. He’s frail and deteriorating throughout his short presidency, and by the end of it he’s practically a corpse, just like Wilbur.

He’s 6′3, with broad shoulders and a silhouette that seems strong not only because he carries himself as if he can fight, but also because of the percieved power that comes along with it. In reality, Schlatt is a poor fighter, and the abuse he ends up putting his body through (working out excessively to try to fight his condition, and turning to alcoholism as an escape) completely destroys him, making him probably one of the least healthy and weakest people on the server. It doesn’t really show until his death scene, since he’s covered up the deterioration since day one. Basically, mans is dead. 

Glatt, or Ghost Schlatt, or whatever you want to call him, would be a healthier Schlatt. Again, from the ‘water rising’ era. I headcanon him to have longer hair in that era. Not sure why.

Ranboo is the same height as tommy, but is more naturally lithe than made that way by lack of food. His enderman DNA can be blamed for that. He’s healthy most of the time, but may have spirals where he doesn’t take good care of himself (perhaps he forgets) and he looks pretty bad. If he goes a few days without keeping up his self-care routine, he looks a lot worse than he actually is. Sleep tends to be his biggest issue, his mind keeping him awake all night and leaving him looking like shit in the morning. Really, he’s just a kid with a troubled soul, and it shows sometimes. Most days, though, he looks very well put together.

Tubbo. He’s 5′6. He’s more childlike than Tommy, which only makes it worse when he acts in the way he does in season 2. He has burn scars across one side of his body, from his execution, and he is partially blind in one eye because of it. He takes very good care of himself, since he has to look good while being president if he wants those sweet sweet approval ratings. But when he’s super stressed, he will pull all-nighters and forget to eat. He’s got a lot of issues, but his body is very normal and healthy, all things considered. 

Quackity is 5′8. Which is really funny because that’s his actual height. He’s less sharp (?) than a lot of people on the server, but he has some muscle because he’s constantly training to ‘take down Technoblade’ (in reality, it’s a habit he picked up in Schlatt’s era, and never had the heart to drop). He tries his best to stay healthy (again, to better kill Techno) and he’s careful with his life, knowing that it’s his last.

Niki is 5′5. She’s also able to kick so much ass. That is all.

Dream is a bitch and therefore I will not be discussing him. Also he’s a blob or whatever so I guess height is irrelevant. Or maybe he’s a mysterious figure with a mask. Who knows.

No one else is important enough to talk about /j (but really I’m tired so I will stop here). Put your own thoughts in the comments, tags, and rbs. This was all in good fun, so don’t get mad haha.

#dreamsmp #dream smp #jschlatt #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #tw alchoholism #tw self-destructive behaviours #quackity #tubbo #dream #ranboo #philza #technoblade #niki nihachu

[theutterlyboredwriter]

Bounty and the Hunter

Bounty and the Hunter

Summary: The Mandalorian's newest bounty is a seemingly harmless prostitue who offers up her services for him not bringing her in.

Rating: Explicit (I know you won't listen but if you're under 18 don't read)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: SMUT (if it's cringey I'm sorry,it's my first time writing smut), oral (M receving), mentions of prostitution, generally sexy themes, cursing, if there's anything else let me know

A/N: HI!!! This is my first post (!!!) and also the first smut I've ever written so if it sucks...sorry lmao. I also just finished rewatching the Mandalorian and it's SO GOOD!! I hope you like it!

The alarm that usually roused you from sleep had been playing for nearly half an hour before you realized that you were late. After getting dressed into the pink bra and underwear as well as the pink mesh tunic that had become your uniform these past six months, you walked out of your house. Running through the empty street you ducked into an alley and walked into the back entrance of the club, hoping that your boss wouldn't notice that you were fifteen minutes late. Thankfully, the early morning/late night rush was enough to distract him as you slipped in and set your stuff down at your station. The club was both a strip club and brothel, the latter only for those who were of a certain rank and distinction, and it was always busy between ten pm and five am. The clock on the wall read 3:58, you only had two minutes before your first customer was due to come and call on you, so you sat and touched up the makeup that had smudged as you ran from your place to the club.

"Hey! Booth number one wants you," Linberen called to you as she walked out on stage.

Your services ranged from lap dances to…well, there hadn't been anything you hadn't said yes to for the right price yet, but you had quickly become one of the most sought-after girls in the little club. The lights were a dim yellow, low from broken lights and dust that had covered the bulbs no one ever cared to change. The owner, Gribrad said it gave the place some character and ambiance, but it just accentuated the shitty stone walls and grimy wood floors that Gribrad was too cheap to replace. It was busy, the stage was covered by four girls, and there wasn't an open space around the jutted out stage, crowded by men throwing measly credits on the stage. To your right were the different booths, each covered with a purple velvet curtain to allow the customers some privacy. Towards the front of the building was booth one and you took a small breath before pushing the curtain back far enough to allow yourself entrance into the small space. Your eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the significantly darker room before you spotted something shiny that struck fear into your heart, beskar.

"Don't run, I can see in your eyes that you want to. It will be a waste." The voice was deep and gruff, altered by a modulator, but the voice struck a nerve in you and sent chills down your spine. You set your hands on your lap, allowing the armored man to see that you didn't plan on pulling a knife on him, while silently reprimanding yourself for not bringing a knife like Linberen had told you to do so many times before.

"I have to say, 60,000 credits for a prostitute is a hefty bounty. Usually, that kind of price is attached to someone who's committed treason." The words fell heavy into the air. The shitty dance music in the background did little to ease the looming silence that was so obvious between the two of you.

"What's a Mandalorian like you doing here? I thought you all were killed years ago?" You asked weakly, the lump in your throat making it hard to do anything else but breathe heavily.

"Apparently not."

You'd heard that all the Mandalorians were dead, wiped out in a massive genocide by the Empire, but yet here one sat across from you. That's when it struck you that Beskar was still being sold on the black market and this could just be a silly impostor.

"I beg to differ. For all I know you just bought the armor off of some black-market dealer to scare other bounty hunters. Mandalore was destroyed years ago by the Empire," you said with a smirk. Today wasn't the day that you would be played by some asshole in armor; you needed to make money, and this wasn't a real customer.

"With all due respect, I have things to do like work, and as much fun as sitting here in silence with you is, I need to get back to work. I'll tell Gribrad that it was just a meeting, so you won't get charged but if you exc-," you'd started to get up, but the man grabbed your arm and threw you back onto the leather seats.

"With all due respect," he began through gritted teeth, "I'm not leaving without you in handcuffs."

"Listen, if you want it like that just tell me and I can get that arranged," you chuckle, hoping that the joke will lessen the growing tension in the booth.

It didn't.

"The only way that I'm going to leave is with you, now I can kill you or have you come along cooperatively, your choice."

"Who are you taking me back to? Why is there a bounty out for me? How did you find me?" You try to cover the apparent fear with anger, hoping that something drastic will happen and allow you to escape.

He sits in silence; his regulated breathing is so overwhelming that you feel suffocated. By now your eyes have adjusted to the dark and you see that his blaster is pointed in your direction, sitting by his right thigh. A million scenarios race through your mind of how you could try to distract him and kill him with his own gun until you realize that your bounty would only grow and make it harder to hide. You don't realize how deep in thought you are until the man slaps his gloved hand on your knee to get your attention.

"Listen Mandalorian, I don't know why you are here but I'm innocent. I've done nothing to warrant a bounty and I haven't hurt anyone. Let me go, I'll give you whatever you want to just pretend you never saw me." The desperate slew of words spills out as he cocks his head off to the side to look at you. You feel the judgment and disgust burning a hole into you, and suddenly you wish you had been much later to work.

"I don't bargain with criminals."

The answer is plain and cuts you like a knife.

"There has to be something that you need! A maid, a mechanic, a-a um… a stress reliever?" You know throwing out sex for protection is a low spot in your life, but you have no interest in being turned over to be murdered or tortured.

For the first time all morning, you feel that he is contemplating what you've said. But truth be told, you have no idea what is going through his head. The rigidness of his body rids you of the advantage of reading body language, and his chrome helmet blocks and facial expressions you could possibly read, but something in your soul tells you that even if you could see his face right now it wouldn't help you.

An eternity passes before his modulated voice lets out an answer.

"Have you ever worked as a mechanic before?"

Not the answer you wanted.

"For a few years, yeah," you mutter, voice wracked with worry.

Again, the two of you are left in silence; so you resign to twiddling with the worn pink mesh that covers your body, running your fingers over the rips that have gathered these past few months.

The man sighs. Loudly. You take this as a sign of hope, you hope.

"I am willing to postpone the date in which I bring you back in return for you to work for me. You step out of place once and I put a bullet in your head and deliver you to the people who want you, got it?"

You gulp and slowly nod, not wanting to upset him in any way.

"I'll give you five minutes to grab your things and then meet me here. Don’t run."

You stand on wobbly legs, grabbing onto the wall to support you, and begin to walk to the back of the club so you can grab your things. The thought of running seems nice, but you know that he probably has someone at the back just waiting for you to run. The loud music is drowned out, secondary to the thumping of your blood through your heart. You don't have much to take with you, a couple hundred credits, a change of clothes, and a small bag of makeup.

"Didn't you just get here? Why are you packing your shit up?" Ajislen asks as she changes into a new outfit for the next stage show.

"I have to leave, I can't really explain it," you try to answer. You don't want to say too much, but you also don't want to leave your friends without a word. Then it hits you, your friends. You won't see these people for a while, possibly forever. Not that it would matter much to them, but you'd like to think that your absence will be noticed.

Suddenly the lights begin to flicker. Just for a second, but long enough to draw the attention of all the girls in the room.

"Ugh, this place is a dump. I don't blame you for leaving." With that, she leaves.

You walk through the front of the club and see the Mandalorian standing at the front of the club, guarding the front entrance. The man grabs your arm and guides you from the club, looking around at the empty streets. Being only 4:30, the streets are bare and it's dark out, but it somehow feels more dangerous with this heavily guarded man on your arm than it did as you ran to the club less than an hour ago, defenseless and utterly alone. The walk to his ship takes forever, maybe because you are now fearful to be on this planet; or maybe because you aren't sure if he is going to stay true to his word. He could be leading you back, only to turn around and put a bullet in your head. But either way, as your feet trudge through the sandy road, you find yourself in painful silence.

Talking was one of your most favorite things to do, there wasn't a person you'd met who you hadn't been able to strike up a conversation with. You loved the idea of getting to know people, to open up and share something with someone. You knew better than to try and talk to this man. You feared to ask his name or say anything around him.

The ship was parked in the middle of a sand dune, far enough to not be bothered by the local traffic. In all honesty, it looked a little shitty. Part of you hoped that he would allow you to work on it and try to make it look better. It could be your ticket to surviving, spoke a little voice in your head.

He pushed you into the ship, and your breath caught in your throat as you swore you felt his fingers trace down your spine. Nonsense, you told yourself and started walking forward. If the outside was shitty the inside was utterly depressing, you could tell that this ship was in desperate need of your touch, and though you didn't realize it at that moment, so did something else.

"I'll find some blankets and you can make a spot to sleep on the floor." He said as he began to close the door to the ship, "The fresher is behind that door and the cockpit is up this ladder."

That was all he said before ascending the ladder, leaving you alone and scared. You assumed that he was getting ready to take off, so you found a spot on the floor to sit and try to grapple with what had happened in the past hour. So much had gone unprocessed and you were just coming to terms with the brevity of the situation. There was a 60,000-credit bounty out for you, who hadn't committed a crime, who was just trying to make enough to live. You knew why the bounty was out, but you decided in that booth that he obviously didn't know, so you'd feign ignorance too. It probably wouldn't do much, but you didn't know and trying to stay alive and uncaptured seemed like a good idea.

"Damn it!" You heard from above, and without thinking, you went to explore.

It was only as you entered the cockpit that you realized that you were probably overstepping your boundaries. It was too late to go back though, so you walked towards the pilot seat hoping that you'd be able to be of some assistance.

"Can I help?" You asked meekly.

The shiny helmet jerked to look at you, probably out of shock but quickly turned its attention back to the dashboard.

"Not unless you can fix this to let me input the coordinates."

You looked over his shoulder at the switches and knobs illuminated in a variety of colors, trying to find the thing that was causing trouble. You saw it finally, a small button that was lodged in a funky position that was preventing the circuit from running and allowed the coordinates to be input.

Without a word you reached past him to fix the issue, your mesh-covered chest brushing past his metal shoulder piece. You gasped to yourself, the cold beskar evoking a far more sexual feeling than it should. With a small breath to yourself, you pushed the feeling down and went to work on fixing the button so you two could be on your way.

"Thank you," he said curtly.

You just nodded and sat in the passenger seat, trying to remove your mind from the fact that just touching his armor had turned you on more than you had been in years. Silently you wondered if he'd heard your gasp, silently you hoped that he liked it. The feeling stayed, and further reflection only deepened the growing warmth in your stomach. First, his hand trailing down your back and then that? That's when you remembered that you had offered yourself not only as a mechanic and maid but as someone to help alleviate his stress.

So maybe it was this memory, the growing wetness between your thighs, or some entirely different force that compelled you to slide off the chair and onto your hands and knees. You waited until he had successfully entered hyperspace before you crawled under the dashboard and settled yourself between his thighs. He looked down at you, giving you the perfect chance to see yourself reflected in his helmet. Slowly you ran your hands up his thighs, shuddering as you ran your fingertips gently over the beskar. Your left hand stroked his thigh while your right hands began to palm his crotch through the thick fabric. To your very welcome surprise you found that he was hard, he seemed to be just as turned on as you were. The fabric was thick, but you could feel him getting harder as your fingers ran over and gave a little squeeze, and it was then that you almost ascended into the next level of consciousness. His hand, his strong gloved hand, wrapped around yours and gave a squeeze.

The moan that you let out was unholy, and from above you heard a little sigh of approval slip from the helmet. Drunk on the confidence you'd just been given; you reached for his zipper and began to work at releasing him. He lifted his hips so you could push his pants and lower armor down to his ankles.

Now you'd never been a religious woman, not by any stretch of the imagination, but as you saw what this mysterious man was hiding underneath all the armor you felt compelled to thank whatever was out there. Again, you let out a moan. You reached out to grab the base of his cock and slowly began to pump him, trying to commit every ridge and vein to memory. But it was too dry, and no doubt uncomfortable for him, so you reached between your legs and pushed aside the thong that was painfully damp to gather some lubrication. Quickly you returned your now wet hand to his cock and started to pump, your thumb swirling the tip and gathering all the precum he had to offer. This time it was his turn to let out a moan, and god were you thankful for it. Even with the modulator, you could hear how gritty it was from having a dry throat. And that's when you decided to say fuck it and go in for the gold. Leaning back on your haunches and grabbing onto his thighs with a still sopping wet hand, you took all of him into your mouth.

His whole body shook, overwhelmed with the sensation. You took your time, tracing your tongue up and down his cock, occasionally swirling your tongue around the tip.

"F-fuck," he muttered more to himself than to you.

One of his hands reached behind your head and grabbed hold on your ponytail in a death grip. Feeling his hand tighten around your hair drove you to just swallow him, your tight mouth struggling to fit all of him in your mouth. He wasn't unusually large, but Maker was he thick. As you sat there, viciously bobbing your head up and down, it occurred to you that tomorrow you wouldn't be able to comfortably eat food, and that thought spurred you on more. Your hand moved from his place on his thigh to cradle his balls, trying desperately to please him.

He could barely stand the sight of your big eyes looking up at him so innocently as you devoured his cock in the vilest way. He felt his stomach begin to tighten, hurtling towards a release that you both wanted. You could feel him starting to become rigid, and to compensate you sucked harder, hollowing out your cheeks, and moaned into him.

That was all it took. He tried to pull himself off of you, to cum somewhere else but you pushed yourself down, gagging as ropes of cum painted this inside of your throat. The man who was so silent, so restrained, had turned into a moaning mess in your mouth. You waited, rubbing his thighs with your delicate fingers until he had finished before looking up at him and swallowing.

You pulled yourself off of him and he let go of his hold on your hair.

Crawling around him you got up and decided to go to the fresher and try to take care of yourself. Though he hadn't done a single thing for you, you were wetter than you had ever been before. That's when it hit you, this was the first time in your entire life that you had given a blowjob out of pure desire, no money or bribery to entice you. A small chuckle left your mouth as you started to descend the ladder when a voice called out for you.

"I'm not done with you yet."

#theutterlyboredwriter #the mandalorian #mandalorian smut #mandalorian x reader #smut #the mandalorian x you #reader insert #fanfic #din djarin #din djarin smut

[copperbadge]

Hi. I love your blog! I’m in the middle of a second major depressive episode (my first was in my teens) and like you were, I’m unemployed and living with my parents. I’m now on medication and getting help and applying for jobs, but no luck so far. How did you ‘turn your life around’ and how long did it take you – going from depressed to starting a successful career in the non-profit world? Any advice on how I could do the same?

Oh, Anon. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but in no way did I turn my life around, and I definitely didn’t build a career intentionally. 

A lot of the below is general advice -- you are already doing great! -- but I figure some people who are where you are but not quite as far along could be helped by it. Thanks for the opportunity :)

So, here’s the thing: depression is the kind of mental illness that can just be with you for the rest of your life even when it’s not impacting your life. Some depression is situational and therefore (theoretically) escapable, but some of us are just never going to forge enough serotonin on a regular enough schedule. So it’s not a matter of beating depression or backing away from it, but of learning good coping mechanisms: how to recognize an episode is coming, how to keep functioning in a depressive episode, when to ask for help. 

And unfortunately while I can tell you what works for me, this is going to vary by person. Some people feel sad all the time; some people feel numb; some people feel okay but are overly impacted by minor setbacks or frustrations, or can do normal life stuff but any deviation from routine sends them into a spiral. These are just examples; there are more. My methods of coping are stuff like building lists, making sure that those lists have stuff like “communicate with friends” on them, being on specific platforms that make that communication easy, and inasmuch as I can, avoiding drama and volatile emotions. Doing the bare minimum of housework to keep myself from being MORE depressed. Making sure my work gets done so that I keep my job, even if I feel like other parts of my life might be out of control. 

And as I’ve recently mentioned, I write fiction as a stress response. If I’m not writing but I’m doing okay -- keeping my house clean, feeling good, having fun -- that’s fine. Not optimal, I like writing, but it’s fine. If I’m writing, I’m probably a little stressed, but I’m managing it. If I’m not writing AND I’m not functioning well, or I know I’m unhappy, then I know that the depression is probably worse than I think it is, and I need to go into survival mode. 

Some people need meds -- taken year round, even when you’re not depressed. There’s no shame in that and if you aren’t currently using medication, I would recommend at least investigating its use to see if it could help. [ETA: Sorry I 100% missed the part where you are on medication, but this is still useful for others so I’m leaving it in.]

So like...”how long did it take me” is a tough question to answer because I’m still in it. I will be, all my life, and once I came to accept that, I could figure out ways to keep it from devastating me. How long it took me to establish good coping mechanisms? Well, I was diagnosed at 17, which is a rough age to be when it starts happening, but I managed to survive college (barely) and I feel like I had a pretty good handle on managing it by the time I was, I guess about 25. The point at which I was unemployed and living with my parents was the absolute low point of my life, when I was 23-24, but that was compounded by external factors. As soon as I got out of my parents’ house, things improved; as soon as I had a job, even a truly shitty one, I felt like life was survivable. (A huge coping mechanism in those days was actually Netflix, back when it was a mail-you-a-DVD service, because I knew at least a few times a week I would get mail addressed to me with a nice surprise in it.) 

And the thing about being here now is -- my parents gave me three grand to get out of the house, find a place of my own, and survive 2-3 months until I could find a job. I couldn’t have done any of what I’ve done without three solid thousand dollars, and even then I got lucky. I quit my first, super shitty job (the only time I have EVER quit a job) and got a job with my last place of work literally two week before the 2008 financial crisis hit. That job happened to be a very visible if very ground-floor administrative position, and from there I was able to impress people who wanted to hire me up to the next administrative level, and from there I was promoted into the department because I showed an active and visible interest in the work they did. That was intentional, but literally nothing before it was anything other than “I need a job and this one offers health insurance.”  

Once you have a job in which advancement is possible, which again is a matter somewhat of luck, advancing is just a matter of maintaining a good work-life balance while doing good work and showing you’re interested in supporting the mission of the company. Documenting the work you do, asking for raises, asking or applying for advancement -- putting yourself forward. That’s not so hard. But that’s kind of like starting on third base and telling someone you just need to run 90 feet. You’ve got to get to third base first and for me that was a lot of luck. 

But here’s the kicker: you can’t win the lottery unless you buy a ticket. So for you, right now, waiting on that opportunity, your job is to keep yourself alive and reasonably looked-after, gather all the energy you have, and start figuring out a game plan. Whether that’s a shitty job that you agree with yourself you’ll only do for a year, or asking your parents for a huge financial leap of faith if they’re able -- three grand was a LOT for my parents but they knew it was probably going to save my life -- or applying to better jobs that could push you up the ladder. And of course we’re in a pandemic so like, fuck the world, all of this is just that much harder. But people are being hired, and people are moving into apartments, and going to therapy, and doing their best. So there’s hope, as long as you start homebrewing it first. 

The thing that has helped me the most in the last twenty years, and which I think may be most helpful and simultaneously most frustrating to you, is that I never just said “I don’t like where I am or what I’m feeling”. I started there, absolutely, but then I asked, “What can I change to stop feeling this way?”

You have to rule out “nothing” as an answer. You probably will have to sit with the question for a while, maybe even a few weeks. You may need to google some weird shit to figure it out. And maybe what you do is a stupid stop-gap like buying yourself a $1 blind box toy once a week so you can feel surprise at something again. Maybe you admit that right now you need to pass the baton and you unfollow or blacklist political activism and activists and just fill your social media with people making dumb dad jokes and posting cat pictures. Maybe that gives your brain breathing room to find more permanent solutions.

But once you get in the habit of “how can I change this”, solutions do start to appear. 

So, yeah. Truth is I worked super hard but I also got super lucky. But part of being lucky was being there when the luck finally hit. So I’m wishing you, wholeheartedly, the best of luck. 

(Also if your parents have money and aren’t assholes I can’t recommend “Make them give you a long-term loan to get on your feet” strongly enough.)

#depression #coping #career building #Anonymous

[broadstbroskis]

present tense | matthew tkachuk

back on my childhood friends to (enemies to) lovers bullshit here! have a nice 5k matty fic that was not the fic i set out to write and is far better for it! one flashback-ish area set in italics! enjoy!

-----

There’s a picture that sits on the desks in both of your dad’s offices-in the Blues training facility and over at Enterprise Arena-that everytime you look at you can’t help but scoff in disgust. Sometimes you even flip the picture down, if it stirs up particularly loathsome feels at that moment in time. But each time you end up back in his office, the picture’s back standing, in its usual place front and center on his desk. 

You can’t figure out why. Sure, you’re by far his favorite kid (suck it, Josh and Seth), but for him to keep a picture that’s close to fifteen years old on his desk that features you just cheesing it up with a guy you can’t even stand anymore is a little ridiculous.

“Just because you don’t like Matthew anymore doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t,” Your dad tells you bluntly, anytime you try to mention that fact to him, which you definitely should have known better. He and Keith had only become better friends since Keith’s transition to his front office role. 

“I still don’t understand what went wrong with you two.” Your mom huffs. It’s the biggest tragedy of her and Chantal Tkachuk’s lives, the day that you and Matthew were no longer best friends and neither of them ever miss a chance to lament that fact. “Best friends one day and then not the next. What could possibly have happened that can’t be fixed?”

“Can’t fix asshole!” You respond cheerily. 

“YN!” Your mom snaps. 

“What?” You shrug. “It’s self-proclaimed!” She gives you a look and even though you are 22 years old, you know what thin ice looks like, so you merely smile back at her.

And there’s the other thing. For all that you can barely stand to be in the same room as your former best friend, the rest of your family loves him. Your dad and Seth will golf with Matt and Keith once a week now that it’s summer and he’s back in town. Josh invited both Matt and Brady to his fucking bachelor party this summer. The entire family will be at his wedding!

You literally couldn’t escape the guy. Your summer had barely just begun; it was only a few days after graduation, and already the pressure was on to keep applying for jobs or decide to go on for a Masters. Josh’s wedding was fast approaching and Nicole had the entire bridal party running all around St. Louis in preparation.

The last thing you wanted was to have to deal with Matty.

-----

From the minute you and Matthew Tkachuk were thrown together it’d been instant connection. You can’t recall the exact moment you’d met; you can, however, remember running through the halls of hockey games, trying to keep up with your older brothers at barbeques as Brady tried to keep up with the two of you, sharing secrets under blankets, and making promises to each other in the dark that you were too scared to make in the light.

Until you were sixteen, you’d both kept those promises, each and every one of them. The smallest things, like promising to bring two snacks to an after school event, to the biggest things, like always being there for each other. 

You were Matty’s biggest cheerleader growing up, quite literally sometimes, showing up to his hockey games in your cheer uniform after a practice or competition. And even though it was clear from early on that Matty was destined for great things, he never made you feel like he’d be leaving you behind, celebrating all your accomplishments the same way you’d celebrated his (far more incredible) ones.

But the distance apart during his first year away at the NTDP changed something. You no longer had Matty to rely on to have your back unconditionally. He was up in Ann Arbor, crushing his dreams, and you were so happy for him, really, but that left you at home and for the first time, realizing what Matty’s dreams would really mean for your friendship long term. You threw yourself into cheer, into your other friends. When his responses to your texts took longer and longer to come, you realized that you were doing the same thing- what’s the rush to get back to someone who’s only going to take three days to respond to you?

And then summer rolled around and Matty came back and acted like nothing was different. He’d swept you up into his arms and twirled you around, proclaiming how much he missed you, while your families looked on and laughed, especially at how you’d whined at him for messing you your hair.

“You didn’t miss me?” He’d pouted, poking you until you’d admitted that you did, of course you did, and that brought the grin you knew and loved.

From that moment on, for the rest of summer, the two of you were inseparable. It’s like every minute you couldn’t spend together was a wasted one. For all the time that went between texts when he was away, your phone was blowing up now that he was back, unable to stop talking those scarce moments when you were apart. 

It became expected, amongst both your friends, that if you invited one of you somewhere, the other was showing up as well. You were blowing off after-practice Starbucks runs for Matty to pick you up and get lunch. You’d found out later that he was moving workouts and basketball games with some buddies so they’d coincide with your practice times. Very quickly, you’d fallen back into old habits, but no one called you out on it, accepting both of you easily, and merging friend groups fairly seamlessly.

As the summer went on, the looming date of Matty leaving again started to hang over your head as the-thing-that-just-wasn’t-mentioned...but that didn’t mean it was ever far from your thoughts. It would pop in at the worst times- when the two of you were grabbing coffee and driving around, when you were lying by the pool for the afternoon, when you were bickering about what movie to watch that night.

You’d just wanted to forget for one night, that he’d be leaving you in just a week, and Paul Morgan’s house party seemed like the place to do it. There was cheap booze flowing, shitty beer in your cup, and it was easy enough to keep the smile on your face surrounded by your friends. 

But you couldn’t shake Matty, the entire night, who was right on top of you, his arm wrapped around your shoulders first, and then playing with your hair, and then his palm splayed against your back. How were you supposed to forget that he was leaving you in seven short days when his thumb was brushing over your hip bone? 

You’d shoved him away, offering some excuse about the bathroom, but going instead to hide in one of the rooms upstairs. The tears had started almost as soon as the door shut, your body shaking as you’d sat down on the bed. Was this going to be the new normal? Days without speaking, only the most vague responses when you did, barely knowing each other for most of the year, only for Matt to come home and cling to you for three months of the year? 

That it was Matty who’d come to find you was entirely unsurprising, opening the door more gently than he did almost anything, but then rushing to your side once he saw your face and pressing to know what was wrong. 

The combination of alcohol and nostalgia had gotten you. “I can’t do this every year, Matty. I can’t pretend everything is the same when you come home, when you’re away and we’re like total strangers.”

“So let’s not be.”

You’d laughed, pretty hollowly. “And how are we supposed to do-” But before you’d even finished, he’d kissed you. 

There are things you remember so clearly from that night, your first time. The way Matty had looked at you anytime he pulled back from kissing you; the way he’d laced his fingers into yours as he’d entered you so carefully, like he was terrified of hurting you; how tenderly he kissed you each time he pressed his lips to yours. The fuzzier moments are some of the words he’d whispered to you both during and after, the things that sometimes return to you in a dream- how beautiful you were, how perfect this was, how much he adored you. 

That he loved you, that he always would, that he only wanted you for forever.

Usually in your dreams, that was when you woke up. But at least you didn’t have to see him kissing another girl that way.

-----

Bridal showers were one of the worst things you could possibly think of, but you’d give anything to be at one of those stupid traditional showers where all the women sit in circle for hours and the old ladies cry over what great gifts all this stupid shit is, if it meant you didn’t have to see Matthew.

But no, Josh and Nicole had to go “non-traditional” and throw a co-ed shower. “We’ve already got a house.” You’d heard Nicole explain to yet another older relative, the same thing she’d said to the rest of the bridal party (granted, sounding much less like she’s tired of saying it) when she’d first tossed the idea out. “We don’t need a bunch of stuff we already have. We just want to get a bunch of our family and friends together.” And for you all to stock our bar, was the second part of the joke, and the theme of the party.

Nicole hadn’t looked stressed about this day- which was supposed to be a casual get-together at your parents with family and close friends-until the comments had started to rain. You can see the eye twitch start to go in your future sister-in-law and as she’s explaining the concept to another aunt of hers, you slip in next to her with another glass of champagne. “Can I steal you please?”

“Of course!” She beams, excusing herself from that group. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just don’t want you to murder anyone before you marry my brother this summer!”

She laughs. “Thank you. For the record, the same goes.”

“Me? What have I done today? Seth is the one who opened that $600 bottle of wine accidentally!”

She gives you a look. “I saw the Tkachuk’s walk in, including Matt. Be nice.”

“I will if he is.” You say childishly, sipping on your own glass of champagne.

It’s just your luck, though, that I saw the Tkachuk’s walk in means here they come now. In classic Tkachuk fashion, Keith and all three kids are shoving each other around, and Chantal is rolling her eyes, right up until the moment they reach you and Nicole, when Keith sends once final shot at Matthew, before regrouping to congratulate her along with his wife.

“Where’s that brother of yours?” Keith wonders, craning his neck. “We’ve got some putting to discuss today.”

“Here we go again.” Taryn mutters, rolling her eyes.

“Hey now!” Matt protests. “Joe and I won that fair and square. We’re just better golfers than you two.”

“Better cheaters, more like.” You mutter into your champagne glass, but it’s just loud enough for everyone to hear and Keith and Taryn laugh even as Nicole and Chantal sigh, like ugh, this already.

“No need to cheat when you’re just this good.” Matty grins back sleazily. It seems to be the smile he reserves specially for you; you’ve never seen him break it out for anyone else.

You plaster the fakest smile on your face. There’s no reason for you to be so hurt by an otherwise innocent comment-after all, despite him professing how much he loved you, you were never actually together-but even now, you can’t help the feeling that hits you when he even mentions the word cheat. “Well you’d know best, wouldn’t you?” You say, managing to feign a cheerful tone to make your fake smile. 

Chantal smiles, not catching the dig you’d intended it to be. “Well it’s nice to see that the two of you are at least capable of putting your differences aside.”

“Yeah, my wedding is looking so much more promising!” Nicole teases.

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Even if Matty manages to control himself enough to not start a fight, you’ve still got Seth to worry about.” You nod over at your brother, who’s apparently already given up on glassware, and is carrying around the $600 bottle of wine he’d cracked open earlier in the afternoon.

“Yeah, and even if YN manages not to shit-talk all the other guests, I’m sure Joe and Dad over here will throw something out there as soon as they get a few in them.” Matthew snarks back.

“Well that lasted long.” Keith says pleasantly, like his own son hadn’t just rudely thrown him under the bus.

“We shouldn’t have expected less.” You hear Nicole say, but you’re too busy arguing with Matthew about which one of you is going to be worse at her wedding to respond.

-----

The worst thing to come out of the summer that you and Matt had spent attached at the hip only to end up hating each other is that it had actually made your separate friend groups become friends. So now anytime he was home, it was fairly common for a large group chat to go out to round up the squad for a night out.

Which meant yet another night where you were stuck with Matthew.

Even more annoyingly, when he does show up at the bar, he’s nothing but nice. He immediately waves off cards from everyone, offering to pick up the tab for the night. You’re shocked when he remembers that Mel, your best friend, is going to med school in the fall, and he shows, like, genuine interest in her move to Boston and offers her a few places he remembers from Brady’s short time there or recommendations from friends. 

“You’re being ridiculous.” Mel says, when she drags you out on the dance floor. 

“Says who?” You return petulantly, like you have no idea that she’s talking about the sour face that you’ve been making most of the night.

“Um, all of us.” Mel tells you. “Behind your backs, because we think whatever happened between you and Matt is dumb.”

“You talk about us behind our backs?” You cry, outraged.

“Well if the two of you aren’t going to tell us what happened to our faces, then we had to speculate somewhere!”

And that was never going to fucking happen. You’d never told anyone what had happened between the two of you and as far as you knew, Matthew had never broken the unspoken agreement to never tell anyone, either. You certainly remember the sound the smacking palms had made when Nick had high-fived him for managing to “get something” from Sofia Taylor only a day after you had- “There’s nothing to speculate.” You tell Mel, stopping that train of thought and falling to an old standby. “He’s just an asshole.”

“An asshole who’s buying all our drinks tonight?”

“Yes.” You state stubbornly, and knowing she’s not going to win this one with you, she drops the subject and just starts dancing, shouting along to some of the throwbacks you both know and love.

When she leaves you to grab another drink, her spot is quickly replaced by another body, and you loop your arm around the neck of the guy that takes her place, grinning as his hands start on your hips and gradually begin to slip lower on your back as you press yourself closer to him. 

It doesn’t last long because almost the second his hands get to the point where it might even be considered getting close to your ass, he’s pulled away from you. “Get moving.” Matthew says, even as you glare at him furiously. 

Whether he knows who Matthew is or just doesn’t think he could take him if it came down to it, the guy you were dancing with starts shoving his way through the crowd, even after you call for him to wait. When that doesn’t work you round on Matt. “What was that, you asshole?”

“Wait, you liked him touching you?”

“I didn’t mind!”

He actually laughs. “That guy?”

You give him a dirty look, pushing your way through the crowd, in the direction you’d seen that guy go, but it’s a lost cause. No matter which way you look, you can’t see him.

The only thing you can see is the curly head of hair that’s followed you. “That can’t be who you want.” He tells you, as you’re starting to give up, stuck on the outskirts of the bar now.

“You don’t actually get a say in that.” You cry back at him, a little hysterical. “Maybe you could have, one day. But you fucked that up.” He actually does a double take at that, stepping away from you. “So no, you don’t anymore.”

“YN,” He reaches out for you.

“I’m calling an Uber and going home.” You shove his hand away. You can’t even be near him anymore. “And since you can be nice enough to buy drinks, I can say thanks. But that’s it. Don’t pretend like you did me some big favor tonight. You ruined my life once and now you’ve ruined my night.”

And that’s it. You shove past him before he can say anything else to you. 

But he doesn’t come after you. For once, you might actually have left him completely speechless.

-----

On the same weekend that you, Nicole, and the other girls jet off to Austin for her bachelorette party, Josh and his bachelor party take off for Vegas. 

“As long as he doesn’t come home having gambled our house away.” Is the only thing Nicole says, when one of her cousins asks if she’s at all concerned about the Vegas crew. Privately, you think her nonchalant attitude has more to do with the amount of champagne she’s already consumed, but you can’t deny that she’s right. 

“Low bar there.” The maid of honor laughs.

Nicole shrugs as you laugh. “She’s just hoping that Matt doesn’t pull a Hangover on him.”

“You know, name recognition is probably going to be what makes Matty the one who stops the others from pulling a Hangover on Josh.” Nicole muses.

You give her a look. “You couldn’t just give me this one thing?”

She laughs. “After a couple more shots, I’ll give you anything, babe.”

You’ll cheers to that.

Hours later, you’re still cheers-ing-to Nicole, to Josh, to anything ridiculous that anyone of you can think of, each time someone buys you all a round of shots at the bar. You’re pleasantly buzzed, buzzed enough that the letters are too blurry to read clearly when your phone rings, so you just swipe to accept the call and make your way outside, where it’s a little quieter. “Hello?”

“That’s not how it happened at all!” You hear Matthew say loudly. You can’t tell where he’s at, but the background music sounds muffled, like it is behind you, and he sounds as drunk as you feel.

“What?” You can’t keep up with him. Had you missed something? You almost pull your phone away from your ear to check the group chat, to see if you’d been drunk texting in it and forgotten already, but his voice stops you.

“I didn’t ruin your life; you ruined mine!”

If you weren’t leaning against the wall, your legs would have collapsed out from under you. As it is you slide a good foot down the bricks and the flowy tank you’ve got on isn’t doing much to help avoid the scratches that are sure to run down your low back tomorrow. “What?” You can only repeat.

But it seems like Matt’s been building up steam for this. “After everything we’d been through, after everything I said to you, you could just walk away like that?”

“I’m sure Sofia fucking Taylor could give you a great reason why I just walked away like that.” You snap back, finally understanding and ending the call immediately. You’re raging. You can’t believe he’d even attempt to call you out like this.

Even a few deep breaths doesn’t calm you down. When you make your way back into the bar, a few of the girls have concerned looks on their faces, but you wave them off. “I’ll be fine. Just need to drink more. That’s what we’re all here for, right?”

“RIGHT!” Nicole shouts in your face, already beaming.

Maybe if you keep drinking to her level, you’ll be able to forget this whole conversation even happened.

-----

When drinking doesn’t work to forget that phone call, you just start going out of your way to avoid Matty completely. When you see him at family events, you just ignore him entirely. You start pulling back from the big group chat with your friends, only committing to events once he’s fully committed to not going.

Mel calls you out on it, telling you that you’re just being childish and that you can’t avoid him forever, but your family commends you for finally taking the high road, even if they still think the whole thing is dumb in the first place. 

And it’s easy to look like it’s you taking the high road, because Matthew’s trying desperately to talk to you. You’ve got nothing to say though. It’s like the years of rage have finally cooled. Like if you can’t forget the phone call where he says you ruined his life, then you can finally move past the part where he actually did ruin yours.

The day of your brother’s wedding dawns, hectic as you’d expected, and you spend your morning alternating between doing anything Nicole asks and getting ready yourself. You feel like a princess when you slip into the long, blush dress, but it’s nothing compared to how Nicole looks, and you were far from a crier, but seeing her in her dress was only the first time you teared up that day, and it was far from the last.

By the time the ceremony ended, it’d happened three more times and you made a few jokes about it with some cousins and Seth before you figured you could excuse yourself for a few minutes in the garden outside to get some fresh air before the photographer needed you.

Outside, the weather is perfect, an ideal day for an August wedding. There’s a few places to sit, you remember, from when you’d toured the venue with Nicole once, and you start off for one of them, only to be interrupted.

“Hey!”

You jump around, almost twisting your ankle in your heels, entirely surprised at the voice “Nick! What the fuck are you even doing here now?” You frown, when you see him. He’s dressed in street clothes; he’s not here as a date and it’s too early to crash (which you’d straight up invited some of your friends to do, once it got a little later in the evening and meals had been served).

Nick’s rubbing the back of his neck, looking incredibly awkward and like this is the last place he’d rather be. “I uh, I think I owe you an explanation. Sorry, I couldn’t wait anymore.”

You frown. “For what?”

His hand moves from the back of his neck to his face, but you’re still able to hear as he says, “I was the one who sent Sofia over to him.”

You laugh hollowly. “Fuck off, Nick.”

“YN, Matt only told me the other day that you guys slept together in high school. He was just-god, he was so into you! I swear to god I didn’t know!”

“Fuck off!” You repeat, a little more desperately. 

“I just wanted him to get over you.” Nick says, sounding almost as desperate as you. “He didn’t even want her-she just-it wasn’t-I swear to god if I had known, I never would have-”

“Seriously, Nick, fuck off.” And whether he actually took your words to heart or not, Nick does to turn go, leaving you standing alone in a long dress and ready to cry, once again as he didn’t even want her rings through your head repeatedly.

-----

Once you know that things could have been different between you and Matty, it’s like you can’t look away from him. In two separate rounds of pictures, you get called out by the photographer for not looking, just because you thought you heard his voice.

The reception isn’t much better. As you start greeting different friends and relatives at the cocktail hour, you can’t help but wonder how things could have been. Would Matty have been by your side through all of this instead of over by the bar joking with Brady and Seth? He’d certainly be sitting next to you at dinner. Would he be throwing a couple side chirps into Seth’s best man toast or would he have managed to keep his mouth shut? 

After dinner, when the real party begins, you nudge Seth and gesture at the bar for a shot, breathing a sigh of relief when he enthusiastically agrees, and you round up Josh, Nicole, and a couple of your cousins to meet him at the bar, only to find that he’s rounded up your dad, Keith, Brady, Matthew- the person you’d been hoping to start drinking to forget again. 

Matty doesn’t look away from you and as his eyes follow your every movement- the passing of glasses, lifting the glass up to your mouth, licking the last drop off your lip-you feel the flush grow across your cheeks that’s got little to do with how much you’ve already had to drink. 

“Another!” Josh calls.

“If you’re too fucking drunk tonight,” Nicole warns, leaning against him.

“We just got fucking married!” He beams, capturing her lips in a kiss that has you leading a cheer and then all of you cycling through the motions of another round of shots, all while a pair of blue eyes don’t leave you.

When Seth starts making his third toast of the night, about how happy he is for Josh and Nicole, you seize your opportunity to sneak out for some fresh air, slipping out the doors right behind you.

“Fucking finally.” You hear Matthew behind you and quickly lift the bottom of your dress to be able to run, only for him to stop you dead in your tracks. “YN, god, just-”

He stops abruptly and you let the bottom of your dress fall as you turn to face him. “What, Matty?” You ask him helplessly.

“Don’t...go.” He finishes, rather lamely, compared to anything you’ve heard him say ever.

“We are at my brother’s wedding!” You cry back to him, gesturing around you wildly. You’re not that far into the garden that you can’t still hear the sound of Love on Top from where you’re standing now. “Where am I going to go?”

Your response is enough for Matty to collect himself. “Since the day I told you I loved you, all you’ve done is run from me and we are finally, finally on the same page about why, and you’re going to do it again?”

Desperate for a second to breathe, you gesture around you again. “Is this really the place?”

Matty nods. “I’m not walking away from you again so that can be it. I don’t want to spend another six years thinking you walked away from me, when it turns out you didn’t want to at all.”

“Of course I didn’t, but I didn’t want to be just another girl!”

“You’ve never been just another girl.”

“Well, I just learned that a few hours ago,” You tell him dryly. “From Nick. But it really didn’t feel like that when the day after you told me I was your everything, you were making out with another girl.”

“We weren’t-” Matty starts, but cuts himself off at the dirty look you send him and instead steps closer and grabs your hand, completely ignoring your flinch. “Why didn’t you just say something to me? Anything? God, it would-” He shakes his head, and the unspoken it would have made things so much easier goes unsaid.

“Why didn’t you say something to me?” You counter.

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second!”

“YN!” It’s like he’s trying not to laugh, but it only works at lightening the mood between the two of you for a moment, before you’re sighing.

“What would I have said?” You ask, kind of ruefully. “Things were weird after you went away and you were about to go away again and I should have what? Begged you to love me and not any of the other girls that might be right there in Michigan with you, let alone the one I thought you’d already chosen over me?” You shrug. “It wasn’t-it wasn’t exactly peak confidence levels right then.” Matty winces at that and you nod at him. “ Alright, your turn.”

“I guess…” He trails off. “I was mostly worried that you had just changed your mind. And that you were trying to let me down easy.” The laugh that escapes after that is so bitter that it’s your turn to wince. “And then by the time I got home again, it was pretty clear that you weren’t letting me down easy at all.”

“I haven’t changed my mind at all.” You look him straight in the eyes, meeting the blue you’ve missed so desperately, determined not to look away for anything this time. 

“Haven’t.” Matthew repeats, squeezing your hand, and as the smile starts to bloom across his face, you feel a matching one grow across yours. “As in, present tense?”

You nod, but you barely get the chance to before his other hand is coming up to the base of your skull and pulling you in for a kiss. Christ, if you thought sex with him was good at 16, expectations have changed, because this kiss alone takes your breath away, makes your knees weak, and has you gripping onto him just to stay standing. “Matty, please tell me you’re going to do that again.” You manage to breathe out, mostly against his lips, which is as far away from him that you think you’re ever going to be able to be.

“I’m never going to stop doing that.” Matthew says, and it sounds like all the promises you’d made to each other as children under blanket forts, but it feels like your past, your present, and your future have combined as he presses his lips to yours in another breathtaking kiss. 

#matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fanfic #matthew tkachuk fanction #hockey fanfiction #hockey imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #my hockey fics

[nanoland]

Title: Besyd the scarcety of bread amowngst us

Fandom: Supernatural 

Pairing: Crowley/Dean Winchester

Summary: In which Dean asks a question.

Warnings: Crowley being Extremely traumatized and kind of oblivious to that fact + SPN demons being SPN demons (i.e. remorseless bodysnatchers) + Dean being his casually misogynistic self + graphic descriptions of starvation + exhibitionism (sorta?) + sexually explicit content because this was MEANT to be straightforward smut and then Crowley happened, the prick.

Also on AO3!

0  

“So how come you aren’t a hot chick?”

The glass stills an inch from Crowley’s pale lips. “I humbly beg your pardon?”

It’s late. The bar’s quiet. He doesn’t need Dean to repeat himself. Just a moment to decide on a response.

Well on the way to utterly shit-faced, Dean gestures vaguely, meaninglessly. “You offer people stuff. Then, ten years later, you drag ‘em to Hell. And – and they know that’s what’s gonna happen if they make a deal with you. Which means that you gotta be real fuckin’ persuasive. Which you are. Grade A Bullshit Artist and don’t I know it. But... uh, what was I gonna… yeah, wouldn’t it be easier, right, just way easier if you were a hot chick?”

Crowley can tell he’s not done, so he keeps his silver tongue behind his faintly yellowed teeth for the moment.

While Dean is usually delightful company, in his surly, macho way, this evening there’s an uncommonly obnoxious edge to everything he says. That almost certainly means his insecurities over what he’s been letting Crowley do to his arse lately are acting up.

Understandable. Still annoying.

So Crowley’s more than willing to let his favourite human dig himself a wee bit deeper before pouring boiling tar into the pit.

After quickly throwing back the last of his drink, Dean goes on: “Now, I didn’t go to some dickslurp business school. I ain’t that brand of asshole. But I’ve seen enough beer ads in my time to have an idea of how marketing works. You got something you want people to buy? Fastest way is to get a hot chick in a bikini to hold it up. Because guys have most of the money in this shitty world of ours and guys think with their dicks. I know I do. So why did you decide to possess someone who looks like a balding, middle-aged banker going through a stressful divorce? That ain’t enticing. That ain’t capturing anyone’s interest. Y’know?”

“Mm,” says Crowley, and stands up.

“Fuck’re you doing?” Dean slurs, watching him take off his tie.

“Ever heard of the Seven Ill Years, Squirrel?”

“Nope. Seriously, what’re you doing?”

Draping his overcoat over the back of his chair along with his tie, Crowley sets about taking off his jacket. “‘The Seven Ill Years’ refers to a particularly shitty time in early modern Scotland; the 1690s.”

He tugs off his costly leather shoes and places them side-by-side under his chair. “I was in my… early thirties at the time, I think. Thirty-two? Maybe thirty-one. Whatever.”

Dean is gaping now. He’s never seen Crowley without his outer layers, much less the growing slice of exposed chest as Crowley unbuttons his shirt.

“For a lot of complicated reasons relating to oceanic thermohaline circulation, solar activity, and a few ill-timed volcanos, the weather turned rotten. These days, it’s called the Little Ice Age. Us pigshit stupid peasants who lived through it didn’t know anything about all that. All we knew was that it was freezing bloody cold and the crops kept dying.”

“Dude,” Dean hisses, red-faced as Crowley sets his shirt alongside his jacket and overcoat. “Stop it! We’re going to be thrown out!”

“No. Look around. Is anyone paying attention to us? Precisely. We’re invisible to them at the moment, Squirrel. One of my little tricks.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s good. But that’s still not an excuse to take your fucking pants off in public oh my God oh my God!”

They’re expensive pants and Crowley takes care to fold them before putting them down. “To cut a long story short; famine struck. And famine, it’s…”

Crowley pauses, thinking, ignoring Dean’s pathetic attempts not to gawk at his dick.

“It’s hard to describe famine to someone who hasn’t lived through one,” he says eventually. “Language – English, at least – isn’t equipped to convey what it feels like to be so hungry you’ll try to boil and eat someone else’s shoes. Then someone else’s children. Then your own children. There are no words for it. Or, if in some distant corner of our monstrous universe there are, then they’re words that would drive a human raving mad to speak them.”

Naked now but for his black socks, Crowley scratches his stubble. “Sometimes I think that’s why I got on so well in Hell.”

He sits back in his chair. Folds his legs. Taps his fingers on the side of his empty glass. “Don’t get me wrong; having someone cut open your lungs, fill them with scorpions, and sew them up again isn’t fun. But – how can I put this? – you can process it. You can grapple with it. You know why you’re suffering; because you’re in Hell, and that’s what Hell is for. It makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is going about your everyday life and watching all the people around you – the baker, the priest, the prettiest girl in the village – go about theirs while they turn into walking skeletons. And knowing they didn’t do anything to deserve it. Couldn’t have done anything to deserve it, because no crime, no matter how vile, warrants that kind of punishment.”

Dean says nothing.

After a moment, Crowley pulls himself from the dark, sucking well of memory to add, “Anyway, to answer your question; I don’t want to be a hot chick because a. I’m a man and b. hot chicks are skinny, and I will cheerfully burn this world to the ground before I endure living in a hungry body ever again.”

He glances down at his unclothed meat suit and smiles proudly, running a hand up one of its thick thighs. “Also – y’know – I personally think this long-deceased lad of mine is sexy as Hell.”

Gazing at his shoulder, Dean says roughly, “Didn’t know you had tattoos.”

“Oh. Those. Yeah. Can’t stand them. Worst decision the stupid bastard ever made.”

“I think they’re kinda cool.”

“Do you? Well, you do have incredibly bad taste so perhaps that’s not surprising. Now, are you going to get over here and put that erection to good use?”

Oh, bless him; he’s adorable when he squirms.

“Here?” Dean asks, eyes wide.

“Here.”

He says it like a challenge, for Dean can never resist one of those. Immediately, those wide eyes become narrow and determined.

The boy stands. Looms over Crowley, who casually flicks both their glasses to the floor and moves to sit on the cool wooden table. It’s clean, more or less, thanks to Dean (for once) agreeing to follow Crowley to a semi-respectable establishment.

“These hands,” Crowley murmurs, running them across Dean’s broad chest, “don’t have a single callous or scar. See? Soft as butter. Not a single day’s honest work, either of them.”

Dean swallows. Leans in to kiss him, hesitant and gentle.

Contrary to popular belief, Crowley likes gentle. Or, more accurately, Crowley likes being pampered.

He goes on: “And these legs…”

A groan escapes Dean’s lips as one presses up against his crotch.

“…these legs haven’t walked more than ten miles, collectively, since I moved in. No muscles. No blisters on the undersides of their feet. Not so much as a splinter.”

“Jesus,” Dean mumbles, drawing him in and latching onto his neck.

“And this stomach is never empty. Never even close. Never once forced to digest anything that isn’t purely, perfectly delicious. I treat my meat suits better than most people treat their family heirlooms.”

“Crowley. Fuck.”

He squeezes Dean’s arse and growls, “Because this is my reward, Dean. I won this. This softness, this safety. This nurtured, nourished flesh. I endured the seventeenth century and all humanity’s horrors. Endured my mother. Endured Hell. Built myself a reputation and a kingdom. All for this. And isn’t it wonderful? Say that it is, Dean.”

“Yeah,” Dean moans, even though he can’t understand a word; Crowley slipped into Gaelic a while ago.

(The things Crowley wants to tell Dean and the things Crowley wants Dean to know are categories that rarely overlap.)

Crowley takes Dean’s leaking cock in hand.

“Say I’m beautiful.”

Dean’s knees buckle as he whimpers, so Crowley wraps an arm around his narrow, underfed waist.

“Say you love me.”

Dean comes in his palm, gasping and cursing.

“Say you love me more than anyone else.”

“I’m guessing that was all Scottish dirty talk?” says Dean when he has his breath back. “You were – what? Calling me your bitch?”

Crowley smirks, licks the sweat off Dean’s jaw, and gives his backside a pat before reaching for his clothes. “None of your business. Go get me another drink, would you? Ta.”

 the end

NOTES: The title is taken from a quote found in Karen Cullen’s ‘Famine in Scotland: the ‘Ill Years’ of the 1690s’ (you can find extracts via googlebooks). Yes, canonically Crowley WOULD have been about thirty when this happened. Just in case his origin story wasn’t horrific enough wheee :D

#drowley #dean winchester #crowley #supernatural #spn crowley #my fic

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Acting Your Age: Three Months

Summary: Three months after the birth of their first child, the reader is having a hard time with all of the new and old stresses that come with it...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 5,200ish

Warnings: language, slight flangst, age gap, implied smut

________

“Well aren’t you adorable,” said Jensen to Reese, fast asleep in her car seat in the back of your car. “Yes you are. I missed-”

“Do not wake her up or I swear on my life you are never getting sex again,” you said, yanking the grocery bags out of the trunk. He stood up and frowned.

“I know my flight was late but-”

“But what?” you said, shutting the trunk, Reese waking up and starting to cry. You scrunched up your face and went inside with the bags, Jensen carrying Reese in her seat inside, unbuckling her after a moment as you started to put things away in the kitchen.

“Shh,” he cooed her, narrowing his eyes at you. “Mommy didn’t mean to be loud.”

You finished quickly and washed your hands before you went to your bedroom and shut the door. Jensen entered after a moment, Reese calmed down and asleep on his shoulder.

“What is going on with you?” he asked. “Are you sleep-deprived or something? We talked about this before the baby. We gotta talk and take turns when one of us is too tired.”

“Leave me alone. There’s milk in the fridge if she needs it,” you said. You quickly left the room and went outside, going to the patio by the pool and sitting up on the stone wall. You tucked your head between your knees and let out a shaky breath. It wasn’t long before you were crying hard, gripping your legs tight.

You weren’t sure how long it was before you felt Jensen sit behind you and wrap you up in his arms.

“Kiddo. Talk to me,” he said. “This is not normal for you.”

“You can’t leave Reese up there-”

“Gen came and took her for the afternoon,” he said. “Now what’s wrong?”

“I can’t even take care of my own daughter,” you cried. “I’m some stupid money hungry-”

“Whoa, whoa. Were you looking at internet comments again?” he asked.

“Some woman came up to me in the grocery store and she said some stuff,” you said.

“Did you tell her off?” he asked. “Please tell me you told her off.”

“No because she was right. I’m a horrible mother and…” you hiccuped. “You don’t love me and that’s okay. I know the baby-”

“You are incredible and wonderful and an amazing mother and wife and best friend. I’ve never loved anyone as much aside from Reese,” he said. You lifted your head up and let him spin you around, his palms wiping off your cheeks. “I want us to go talk to someone.”

“Jensen-”

“You’ve been a little off since Reese was born and it’s getting worse, not better. Can we please go talk to someone? Maybe it’s hormones or postpartum or maybe it’s something else. I miss my best friend and I’ve done a shitty job of taking care of her lately. Please, let me help you,” he said. “Don’t make me beg, kiddo.”

“Alright. I’ll go,” you said quietly. You rested your head against his chest and he ran his hand up and down your back. “Will you come?”

“Of course, honey. We’ll see if we can get you in somewhere this week to figure out how to get you feeling better again.”

“As far as the baby goes, that’s it?” asked Dr. Ash the next day. You nodded, his head doing the same for a moment. “Please feel free to consult a medical doctor as well but I don’t believe you have postpartum depression.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” you asked.

“Yes,” he said. Jensen slid his hand across the couch and held your hand. “I don’t think you have any kind of depression actually.”

“Is it seasonal? I know I can get seasonal sometimes in the winter,” said Jensen. You turned your head and stared at him.

“I didn’t know that,” you said.

“Well the first year we were together I didn’t get it, I don’t always, and last year with the baby coming soon, I didn’t even have time to think about it,” he said. “It’s definitely not a constant or a sure thing even. I wasn’t hiding it from you.”

“So what’s wrong with me,” you said quietly, looking back at Ash.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. My professional opinion is that you’re under stress as a new mother and any kind of thick skin you’d developed before to bullying isn’t there right now. You’re in a vulnerable state which is completely normal. Your personal situation however isn’t,” he said.

“I’m not following,” said Jensen. “I don’t bully my wife.”

“I didn’t say you did. However, these internet comments can be harmful if you give them that ability. The incident at the grocery store likely just worsened those feelings,” he said.

“The comments never bothered me before,” you said. Jensen squeezed your hand and he gave you a half-smile.

“They did at the beginning. I know it did. Maybe Ash has a point. Being a new mom is stressful. I know how stressful being a dad is for the first time. Add that to all the other crap we go through? The constant jabs for the age difference. The comments about you, about me, our careers, this, that, the other thing. Maybe it’s too much right now is all,” he said.

“So I’m weaker than I used to be,” you said, closing your eyes.

“I don’t think anyone is saying that,” said Ash. “Bullying mixed with the stress of being a new parent along with a physical confrontation...I think you’re going through a rough time right now is all.”

“How do I fix it?” you asked.

“Avoid social media,” he said and you rolled your eyes. “I’m serious.”

“I’m self-employed. I run my own design firm. I need to use social media,” you said.

“Fine but no looking at comments, either one of you. I also want you to get out of the habit of accepting this bullying behavior as normal. It’s not. These people are strangers. Don’t give them that power. Ignore it and stand up for yourself if it becomes necessary. You don’t deserve it. Do not listen to strangers either about your parenting choices. Your family will help you. Understand?”

“I understand,” you said, taking a deep breath before you looked at Jensen. “I know you love me. I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“I do love you, kiddo and don’t apologize. It was a bad day. We’ve survived them before,” he said. “Now that we have a better idea of what’s going on, let’s see if it helps, honey.”

“Reese,” you said the next afternoon, watching her giggle as she knocked her empty formula bottle on the floor, Jensen bending over and picking it up. “Are you misbehaving young lady?”

“She’s an Ackles. Of course she’s misbehaving,” he teased, picking her up out of her high chair and patting her back, a quiet burp leaving her. “Oh, hey. I talked to mom about the party this weekend. I told her we were thinking of skipping. We’re all pretty wiped.”

“Are you sure? It’s your family reunion. You guys only do it every five years,” you said as you cleaned up after dinner.

“I don’t need to see the whole gigantic ass family. We’ll see my actually family this year in a few weeks for Christmas. I can’t believe we agreed to host,” he chuckled.

“Well it did make it easier with my family being closer to home so they can come up too. Also, we can totally go to the reunion. It’s one Saturday and you’re done filming for the year and my last project wrapped up. We got the time,” you said. “Besides you know everyone wants to meet Reese.”

“I don’t want to share her with anybody but you,” he said, his voice high as he looked at Reese, a giggle escaping her again. “You just want mommy and daddy, huh?”

A little howl alerted you to Dean at his feet, wagging his tail.

“We couldn’t forget Dean,” said Jensen, Dean staring up at Reese. “I got guard duty, little guy. Why don’t you relax?”

He proceeded to follow Jensen around as he burped Reese, Jensen chuckling as he finally set her down in her basinet. Dean settled next to her on the floor and Jensen patted his head.

“Alright, alright. We can share, baby,” he said, Dean laying down and snoring quickly.

“They’re cute,” you said, a soft smile on your face as Jensen slid around behind you in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I love you,” he murmured against your skin.

“I love you,” you said. You turned your head back and he gave you a kiss. 

“Come to bed,” he said. You hummed and started to head over to the bassinet but he curled you back into his chest. “Not sleep. Bed.”

“Sex?” you blushed, Jensen smirking when he caught it. “We haven’t...since Reese was born…”

“I want to see my smoking hot wife in all her naked glory,” he said. You stared at him and burst out laughing, Jensen pouting and grabbing your hips gently. “Oh, you think I’m joking?”

“I think you’re a master of seduction,” you teased, laughing a little. “If you need to get off, I’m happy to oblige but we don’t need to have sex to do that.”

“Oh, we definitely need to have sex. See, I need to tell you how beautiful you are, make you see how gorgeous you are,” he said, brushing his lips over your ear, a shiver running up your spine. “Remember when we had sex on your brother’s couch? How much fun that was? We were both nervous then but we did it.”

“You want to have sex on our couch?” you chuckled.

“I want to see that cocky, flirty girl that put me in my place because she was nervous. The girl I thought was so pretty, the girl who looked at me like I was something to be devoured. Honey, I want to devour you. God, I want to devour you so bad. You are perfect,” he said.

“...So no sex on the couch?” you asked, smirking at him.

“Are you toying with me, Y/N?” he asked, his eyes already a few shades darker.

“Why ever would I do that,” you teased, walking past him and smacking his ass. “You’re so on bottom.”

“I got it,” said Jensen on Saturday morning as he pulled on the diaper bag backpack and grabbed your other one from the trunk. You carried Reese on your hip up to Jensen’s parents house, walking inside and immediately finding his dad standing there.

“There she is!” he said, taking Reese out of your hands. “You’re so cute!”

“Well isn’t that adorable,” teased Jensen.

“You’re grounded.”

“I’m an adult! Who no longer lives here,” said Jensen. “I made the literal baby you are holding.”

“To be fair you could have done that once you hit puberty,” he said. Jensen stared at him and you bit back your smile. “Got her.”

“You two together are horrible,” he said, shaking his head as he headed for the kitchen.

“She sleeping through the night?” asked his dad.

“Mostly,” you said, rubbing your eyes. “Sometimes. When she feels like it.”

“Go rest, kiddo,” he said, running his hand over the top of your head. “You look tired.”

“She’s due to be fed and-”

“And I raised three of my own and have other grandchildren. Go on. Take Jensen with you. Have a nap, that’s an order,” he said as he gave you a side hug.

“Thanks, Alan,” you said, returning it with a smile. You moved to head upstairs when he caught your hand.

“You okay?” he asked. You stared at him and saw Jensen return sans the baby bags, looking between you. 

“You tell your dad?” you asked.

“I was worried. I thought it was baby stuff I didn’t understand at first,” he said. 

“It’s okay,” you said. “I’m a little stressed right now and should avoid the internet’s comments about what kind of mother I am is all.”

“Well the first kid is the hardest,” he said, wrapping his arms around Reese. “I know you two keep those kinds of other things away from us but I know not everyone’s been as kind to Y/N as they should be. Try to ignore them, sweetie. You two are miles ahead of where we were at your age,” he said.

“My age or hers?” asked Jensen.

“It’s an expression, Jay. Call us up more often. We’ll come down to help out,” he said. “You especially when Jensen’s out of town.”

“We know. We’ll ask for help more,” you said, grabbing Jensen’s hand. “Let’s take a quick nap, babe.”

He followed you upstairs to his old room, the two of you plopping down on the bed with a sigh.

“God, this feels good,” he moaned.

“Sleep is the new sexy,” you teased, Jensen peeling open his eyes. “Wasn’t that some kind of promo thing when Supernatural first came out?”

“Scary is the new sexy,” he chuckled. “Oh, how young and naive I was.”

“You were my age!” you said.

“Well, girls mature faster,” he teased, curling his arm over your waist. “Enjoy being young and naive before you turn into this.”

“Before I age like the finest freaking wine there ever was?” you said, dancing a finger over his chest. “You think I’m naive?”

“No, kiddo. I was teasing. I mean maybe...maybe you still see the best in people and have hope for people even when odds are they’ll end up letting you down. Life hasn’t taken that from you yet. I don’t call that naive. Some people might but I don’t. I just call it good.”

“I’m pretty sure what you described is naive, Jens,” you said, tracing your finger over his pecs and drawing shapes. He took your hand and pressed it over his heart.

“If you’re naive then I’m a love struck teenage boy who is head over heels in love with the gorgeous woman laying in his childhood bed with him,” he said.

“None of that sentence made sense,” you said.

“I’m saying, be who you are, who you want to be. I remember the sad girl by the pool and I’m sure you remember the sad boy. What’d I tell you that night?”

“I should be myself,” you said quietly. You gripped his shirt tight and scooted closer. “I know you weren’t exactly happy back then either. I know you pretended a lot to the outside world but Jared and Gen knew how you really felt.”

“You get to be a certain age and you feel like you screwed up, that you ran out of time. Then some dork walks into your life and shows you how wrong you are,” he said, kissing your nose.

“Jensen. I know you focus on me a lot and I appreciate that, I do. But-“

“You do that for me too, kiddo,” he said.

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“I don’t little spoon for just anyone,” he teased, bumping his nose against yours. “I know I’m still shut off sometimes. I think it’s just how I’m built. But after Reese, something changed and I don’t feel like doing that anymore. I love my girls and I hope they know it.”

“We know it,” you said, scooting closer. “We love you too.”

You pressed your lips against his, sliding your hand to the back of his head, rubbing your fingers through his short strands.

“You are so unbelievably attractive,” you said, his hand sliding to your hip and pushing your sweatshirt up some.

“I never made it past first base in high school,” he said.

“Me either,” you said. “You were out in LA when you finally did it right?”

“Mhm. You had that lovely boyfriend that cheated with your roommate, right?” he said.

“God, he was such a douche. Both of them were,” you said. “No talking about shitty exes.”

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked, kissing your jawline.

“What would teenage you do if he had me in this position right here, right now?” you asked.

“Oh, I definitely wouldn’t have had the guts to do what I’m about to do,” he chuckled. “Especially when my parents are home.”

“Think you’re getting past first base?” you asked as you sat up. He went with you, glancing past you to the door. He put on a cocky smile and stood, going to it and cracking it open a little. He walked back over and lay over you, nipping at your neck. “Jensen. Oh my God. Your parents are gonna hear us!”

“My parents are downstairs and we have the next twenty minutes completely to ourselves,” he said. “Come on. I dare you.”

“Yup. Definitely still randier than a teenage boy,” you giggled as he brushed his lips over yours. 

“Shh. We are so not gonna wanna get caught doing this.”

“Hey mom, you need help with anything?” asked Jensen when you both went back downstairs half an hour later.

“No. Your brother came over early to help out,” she said, Josh and his dad cutting in through the back door. 

“Hello, Jensen,” he smirked as he walked past and towards the kitchen. 

“Oh don’t be smug,” said their dad. You tilted your head while Jensen swallowed. “The table?”

“Yes. The table,” said Jensen, leaning over to you. “I have zero idea what’s going on.”

“Yeah, Jensen. The table. I can believe you put it back in the garage so poorly after Easter,” said Josh. “It took us forever to get out.”

“Right,” said Jensen, his dad going over to Reese again to play with her. Josh smiled as he wandered over, getting in close.

“If you two are going to do the horizontal tango, shut the door. I saved your asses. Twice,” mumbled Josh.

“We even for the hockey stick incident now?” asked Jensen.

“Nah. You can still hold that one over me,” he smirked. “Been there before is all.”

“You?” mumbled Jensen and he nodded. “No way. You’re more goodie two shoes than I am.”

“What’s the big secret?” asked his dad as walked over and he handed Reese over to you. 

“Nothing,” you all said at once, glancing at one another.

“Mhm. You two fighting again?” he asked, looking at you and Josh.

“Dad,” said Josh, frowning at him. “No. Y/N and I worked that out a long time ago.”

“Alright, alright. Just a concerned father but you know, whatever,” he said. “Now you two boys help me finish setting up the backyard before the rest of the nutjobs get here.”

“You know, having a baby is a great way to get away from these crazies,” said Jensen a few hours later. You slapped his arm as you carried Reese up to his old room. You set her down in her pack and play Jensen had brought in, Jensen running a hand over her head. “The monitor on?” 

“Mhm,” you said, handing him the other device. “You want me to get it?”

“Nah. You were up with her last night,” he said. You pulled the door shut some after yourselves, Jensen throwing his arm over your shoulders as you headed back to the party. “Let’s make another one.”

“Two? I thought you only wanted the one,” you said.

“Yeah but you wanted three and I’d like Reese to have a little sibling she could look out for and making babies with you is so much fun,” he said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. “It is so much fun.”

“Let’s revisit this when she’s a year old. How’s that sound?” you asked.

“Good to me,” he said. He grabbed a pair of beers from your cooler and soon you were out in the backyard again being introduced to people Jensen couldn’t even remember sometimes.

“Jens, Kenzie,” said Jensen’s mom when you were talking to some of her cousins. Jensen and his sister spun around. “Can you help in the kitchen a minute?”

You turned to go with them but she waved you off.

“I only need two pairs of hands,” she said as she headed back inside.

“So do you act with Jensen?” asked the guy you’d been standing with, Bob. At least you thought his name was Bob.

“No, no. I’m an interior designer. I wouldn’t be caught dead in front of a camera,” you said. “I do a few things with the brewery and bed & breakfast too. But definitely no acting.”

“How’d you guys meet?” he asked.

“My brother was Jensen’s costar on their show. We met at a family party after the show was over and all that. We became friends and hit it off,” you said.

“But you knew about him,” he said. “I mean, that he existed.”

“I guess. I wasn’t close with my family back then. I’m the young one. I’ve never even seen the show,” you said. “I just knew he worked with my brother and was one of his best friends.”

“I’m guessing there was no pre-nup,” he said.

“No, there wasn’t, not that it’s anyone’s business,” you said. He looked you up and down while you narrowed your eyes. You almost said more when another one of the cousins came over.

“Hey, it’s the preschooler,” he chuckled.

“Excuse me?” you said.

“Wow. Everyone knows what you’re up to kid. No need to get defensive,” said Vince.

“What exactly am I up to?” you said, lifting your chin.

“Sleeping with him for that gravy train,” he said. “The kid was a good move. That’ll keep him for years at-“

You nearly slapped him when Josh was suddenly at your side and grabbing your arm.

“Inside,” he said. You looked up at him and saw his face change. He dropped your hand and spun around. “Leave. Now.”

“Leave? We just got here,” said Bob.

“Yeah and that’s my little sister you’re talking about. You know what you’re saying about Jensen too when you say those things?” he said. “Do you?”

“You mean the little celebrity?” laughed Vince. “You’ve seen your brother. Seriously. He started out doing the same thing.”

“Josh,” you said, grabbing his arm when his face went red. You almost had him walked away when you heard one more comment that made your skin crawl. You spun around, coming face to face with your father in law, the backyard silent.

“You two in the house now,” he said, a strange calmness to him.

You swallowed. You’d never heard him like that before and quickly went inside with Josh, avoiding the looks you’d gotten and slipping into the kitchen.

“What is going on?” asked Jensen when he saw you. You closed your eyes and Josh sighed.

“Some of mom’s cousins-“ started Josh but you shook your head. You didn’t want Jensen ever hearing what they said. “They said some not so nice stuff about you and Y/N.”

“What kind of stuff,” he said, looking at you. “Y/N.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, Jensen looking past you out at the backyard. “Josh stood up for me and your dad’s telling them off. Don’t-”

“The internet and strangers are one thing but people fucking related to us?” he said, his mom tsking him. “No mom. This is fucking serious.”

“Calm down all of you,” said his dad as he came inside. “Kids in the den.”

“We are not children anymore,” said Jensen.

“Den.”

You grabbed his hand and went with him and his brother and sister into the side den, Mackenzie closing the door.

“They used to do this when we were in trouble,” she said. “Who-”

“The shit for brain idiots, Bob and Vince. Who’d you think,” said Josh.

“Could one of you two please tell me what they said?” asked Jensen as he sat on the couch. “Please?”

“They didn’t say a damn thing you haven’t read on the internet before. Y/N and I could have taken them,” said Josh.

“Are you okay?” asked Jensen. You nodded and gave him a smile. “You sure?”

“I was a little upset but I was about to slap the one in the face when Josh showed up. He called me his little sister,” you said.

“You used to not trust her you know,” said Jensen. 

“I didn’t either,” said Mackenzie. You glanced over to her, watching her look at her lap. “You got rid of those doubts very quickly for me, for the rest of us. You were terrified that Thanksgiving. We know our brother is different than us. We wanted someone to be with him because they liked him was all.”

“He’s important to me,” you said.

“We were at the wedding. We know,” said Josh. You nodded and looked down, Jensen sighing.

“Was it her age?” he asked. “Kenz?”

“Yes.”

“What exactly made you change your mind?” asked Jensen.

“I know you three had a big fight that night. When you finally came back and joined the campfire, I saw how she was trying to bury herself in your side. She had her hood up I remember,” she said.

“When she was crying?” asked Josh.

“I didn’t know you were crying,” said Jensen.

“I thought I’d hid it,” you said.

“We all saw,” she said. “You weren’t faking. After that we knew you really cared about Jensen.”

“You guys could have just talked to her you know,” said Jensen.

“Guys. It’s okay. I know this was not normal at first but we all care about each other. Some stupid relatives made some stupid comments. I don’t care about them. I care about the people here and our actual family. Screw the rest,” you said.

“Agreed,” said Jensen.

“Alright,” said their mom when the door opened. “Bob and Vince are gone and they aren’t welcome back.”

“Mom-“

“Jensen. It’s the end of it,” she said. He grumbled and crossed his arms. “Come feed Reese. She sounds like she’s hungry again.”

“Fine,” he mumbled as he stood and left. You scratched your head as Donna came in and took a seat next to you.

“I’m sorry for-“

“Don’t apologize for other people,” you said.

“I was going to say I’m sorry you never seem to catch a break on this,” she said.

“I knew what I signed up for,” you said, giving her a smile. “I’m okay. I just want to check on Jensen and Reese.”

You left and found him upstairs with her in his room, Reese looking up at the awards on the wall.

“Hey,” you said, tickling her chest. “Daddy was so good at baseball, wasn’t he?”

“I’ll never understand why people are mean for no reason,” he said quietly.

“Those two bimbos were obviously jealous of how successful you are,” you said. 

“I can never seem to protect you.”

“I don’t need you to.”

“Yeah but I want to. It’s my job. You were feeling better this week and then-“

“Then nothing,” you said. “Babe, your parents got rid of them and your brother was there for me and those people, the ones you actually care about, they’re the ones that helped me.”

“I know,” he said, leaning his head against Reese’s. “Just been a rough week.”

“Let’s enjoy the rest of the party then and we’ll have a lazy day tomorrow. I promise.”

“Hello cutie,” said Jared the next day back at home, bopping Reese’s nose with his own. “You are so lucky you didn’t get any of your daddy’s ugly genes.”

“It could be worse than that. She could look like you,” said Jensen.

“As if she could be more beautiful,” said Jared.

“Losers,” said Gen from the counter.

“You two dorks were so excited after the wedding being all ‘we’re brothers!’ and I swear they’ve gotten worse since then,” you said, Odette chasing Dean around.

“Wait until the kid moves like that,” chuckled Jared. “Also we are so not-“

“Like a pair of five year olds,” said Gen, taking a sip from her beer. “We should take more lazy Sundays. This should be a thing.”

“I’m cool with that,” said Jensen, plopping down on the couch. “Where’s my hot wife?”

“She’s literally disgusting,” said Jared.

“Your face is disgusting,” you said as you sat down on the edge of the couch and wrapped your arms around Jensen.

“Your face is disgusting,” said Jared, setting Reese down on Jensen’s chest. “See? Now it’s not disgusting.”

“Be nice to your sister, Jare,” said Jensen.

“Yeah yeah,” he said, picking Reese back up. “And because I’m so nice, I’m gonna make some snacks with this cutie for her very tired mommy and daddy while they take a nap.”

“We’re okay,” you said, peeling away from Jensen.

“We got it. Seriously. Go unwind,” said Jared. 

“Don’t have to tell us twice,” said Jensen.

Two minutes later you were both in bed and the lights were off, Jensen wrapping himself all around you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jens.”

“Y/N.”

“Mhm.”

“Did you think about what we talked about on the way home yesterday?” he asked.

“Yup.”

“Any decisions?”

“Mhm.”

“Going to keep me in suspense?” he asked.

“I want you to keep working as much as you want to. Always. No matter how many kids it ends up being,” you said. “I will call in the troops more often and stay away from Instagram comments. I’ll still post but I’m just gonna ignore it all and focus on what matters.”

“Sounds good, kiddo,” he said, closing his eyes. “Sleep contest?”

“You’re on, Ackles.”

_______

#spn #supernatural #rpf #jensen x reader #au #jensen ackles #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #rpf fanfic #spn reader insert #jensen x #supernatural reader insert

[thefossilwhale]

i want someone besides me and the 2 friends who know all the lore to meet my detective, but i’m too impatient to let you get to know her via fic so i filled out this questionnaire instead. she is veronica and she is so important, here is some stuff about her if you are interested :’)

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: veronica langford

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bi

Love interest: adam

Best friend: morgan

Main skill: science/technology

Secondary skill: combat/physical

Main personality trait: impulsive

Secondary personality trait: sarcastic

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: best use of her science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: not great

Relationship with Bobby: ex, finds it hard to be around him

Verda or Tina?: both! but she’s on verda’s branch

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy's fate?: captured

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: veronica “it’s been 3 years and i never gave her a middle name” langford

Nickname: just veronica. people around wayhaven called her ronny growing up, and a few still do despite her trying to grow out of it. maybe a few people from college and sometimes tina call her v or vee or something.

Birthday: please you all know i am so scared of concrete dates

Age: 26

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bi

Hair color: brown

Eye color: dark brown

Height: 5′10 (178 cm)

Piercings: just one in each ear

Tattoos: something retro sci-fi on her shoulder. not a reference to anything specific, but like a little planetary landscape with a UFO in the background or something.

Clothing Style: casual. lots of tank tops and muscle tees (weather- and occasion-permitting), concert t-shirts, warm colors. flannels and leather jackets. jeans, sneakers, combat boots. think like rocker chick vibes, but cozier and more colorful.

Apartment Style: basic. she really did not plan on living there long and kept putting off decorating because it’d be a waste if she was just going to move out. this rationalization went on so long but since the end of book 1 she has slowly bought a few things to push it towards “cozy,” still pretty sparse though.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/technology (but mostly science)

Second Skill: combat/physical

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: best use of her science skills

Murphy bite:  Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: adam

Why them?: for veronica it’s kind of retroactive. the way i imagine their True Canon, they don’t have any real romantic moments in book 1, so she doesn’t seriously consider that adam might have feelings for her until well into book 2. (the training scene is when she’s like “oh. ok. i get it now.”) even then it takes a few more chapters for her to really process that, figure out how she feels, and recontextualize everything. like realizing that he loves her and then thinking back on their relationship, knowing that, makes her feel so held (sorry i have no better way to say it) in a way that just makes her want to cry.

to give some actual specific reasons, it’s his dedication and his constancy and hidden care/softness. and his very specific brand of... selflessness might be just left of the word i’m looking for, but hopefully you get me.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: neither! in theory it’s closer to bold, but it’s more just earnest.

What were their first impressions of each other?: disastrous. on top of finding him condescending and unpleasant, there are also a few moments where veronica genuinely wonders whether he’s even a good person. or, like, cares about people. but once she learns the truth of things, a lot of her initial anger gets transferred to rebecca.

adam, with the benefit of knowing what’s actually happening, has a slightly more favorable impression of veronica. yes he thinks she’s difficult and reckless and too emotionally driven, yes she’s making his job absolutely miserable, but he does begrudgingly respect that her accusations are always on the right track and she’s good at her job.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

for veronica: she loooves his sense of humor. and how much faith he has in the people he cares about. physically, dimples <3. but everything about his smile really. and his nose!

for adam: veronica has a very blunt, unadorned sense of kindness to her that he really loves. the way she is kind before she is nice and values directness. physically, her eyes, they’re deep brown and so expressive.

What do they do to spend time together?: they’re both competitive so anything where they can compete on the same team is fun. (competing against each other is fun too, but also like. exhausting. for them and everyone.) maybe puzzles or other things where it feels like they’re “winning” or solving something together. i have spent an embarrassing amount of thought on veronica and overw*tch esp*rts and she would absolutely make adam learn how to play main tank so they could queue as a tank duo. but most of the time i think they don’t Do specific things together; they just hang out. just talk with each other. perhaps snuggle.

What is their favorite memory together?: in current canon... lol. veronica really just treasures any time adam relaxes around her but those moments always get Ruined. even once they’re well into a relationship, i think veronica’s favorite memory would still be something small like a random time he said something funny and they both laughed together and they were outside and the sky was pretty.

What are their love languages?: acts of service for both of them, but especially adam. veronica... probably lots of words of affirmation and physical touch. they’re both bad at blocking out time for themselves in the first place, so quality time can get neglected especially at first.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: pretty well i think! once they’re in an established relationship at least, before that it’s probably harder. but adam can distract himself with work, and veronica is good at focusing on whatever’s in front of her (whether that’s work or she’s away on vacation or something). if neither of them is too busy, veronica calls every night and they stay on a while, half talking and half just keeping each other company.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: i think arguments are fairly rare! yes they’re both insanely stubborn, but they also understand each other pretty well (especially once in a relationship) and are very sympathetic to where the other is coming from. unless both of them are extremely stressed, one of them crumbles when they start genuinely arguing like "i don't want to fight ok, let's take a second."

What does their future look like?: who knows! i haven’t decided whether veronica will turn. i think she probably will, just because i do not want my main pairing for this IF to make me very sad all the time, but like. i’m not fully committing until i see a reason pop up in canon. as of book 3′s final demo, it’s not on her radar at all; she knows she loves adam and wishes they could Talk, but ultimately doesn’t expect or even want a relationship right now (because she doesn’t want to deal with dating one of rebecca’s agents OR with the logistics of being in a committed relationship with an immortal being). it’s just all so foreign to her current state of mind that it’s really hard to say!

Anything else you'd like to share: do you know how hard it was to answer some of these considering veronica wasn’t sure they were even, like, on decent terms for such a large portion of the canon content

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: morgan and farah are essentially joint besties but i’ll go with M

Why them?: i think they appreciate each other’s no bullshit attitude. morgan likes that veronica doesn’t take herself too seriously and respects/relates to the way she tackles problems (quickly, head-on, and without complaint but also without pretending that it doesn’t suck?). veronica appreciates morgan’s bluntness, likes bantering with her, and in general just likes being around people that have quiet/steady presences.

What were their first impressions of each other?: neither of them had much of a first impression honestly. morgan barely thought of veronica at all beyond “she’s annoying,” and kept to herself so much that any dislike veronica had of morgan took a backseat to her dealing with the rest of unit bravo.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of just sitting in the same room and listening to (low volume) music, veronica spends a lot of time hunting for songs morgan might like. morgan is also her go-to sparring/training buddy. and there are semi-frequent movie nights where veronica shows farah her favorite old shitty B movies, and sometimes morgan will tag along just to sit in the room with them or affectionately talk shit.

Anything else you'd like to share: i’ll talk a little about N! obviously veronica and nate respect, trust, and like each other, but she finds him the hardest of UB to connect with. they’re both people who wear their compassion on their sleeves but keep a lot of their hearts/themselves held back, so they just kind of circle each other, especially since like... nate values politeness and is very sweet in how he relates to people, while veronica values directness and is more jokey/lighthearted to put people at ease. idk how well i’m communicating this; as of the book 3 demo it’s getting easier, but their friendship is still newer/more... nebulous? than the others.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: so strained. veronica has come to terms with rebecca’s absences throughout her childhood, but there’s newer resentment over... a lot of things, but how she handled the murphy case especially. veronica hates being kept in the dark, and even more than that she hates being rebecca’s priority. it’s difficult to reconcile her childhood and present images of rebecca, and she’s angry that rebecca is so freely and recklessly choosing her, now, to the point of endangering others if she has to, especially when she never felt like rebecca’s choice before. and incredibly frustrated/confused by how often the lines between their professional and familial relationships are blurred and what rebecca actually wants from her.

Relationship with Rook: veronica takes after rook a lot. in stat terms, the only trait they don’t share is stoic, and even then that’s veronica’s least extreme stat. people always told her how like her father she was growing up, and it’s a comparison she took/takes a lot of pride in! she looks up to him based on the stories, but more recently is uncomfortable with the comparisons. veronica would never have even come back to wayhaven if her life panned out as planned, let alone become a detective or joined the agency. that makes her doubt herself, and she feels like that doubt is letting rook down somehow.

rook is also part of the reason her relationship with rebecca isn’t as bad as it could be. she knows that rook loved her, and that he would want his family to be there for each other, so she feels obligated to at least try to make things better. but it’s really hard for her to move past everything to connect with rebecca (which also makes her feel like she’s disappointing rook).

Relationship with Bobby: they were together for a long time and veronica thought she loved him a lot! it was her first relationship, so she wasn’t sure a) what a “bad partner” looked like, or b) how to even be in a relationship or rely on someone in that way. so they spent a lot of time together and had great superficial chemistry, but veronica didn’t have enough experience with not feeling neglected to realize how shallow it was, or notice the red flags when she did occasionally open up. the plagiarism fiasco was a slap in the face, especially because it cost her internships/grad school apps/whatever, i don’t have the details, and forced her to move back to wayhaven after school. she’s still very hurt by it and finds it hard to be around bobby.

Relationship with Verda: due to the above plagiarism fiasco, veronica was pretty depressed when she moved back home, and disliking her job didn’t help. she was extremely jealous when verda was hired and wanted to hate him. but it did not take long for that to crumble into respect/admiration, and eventually into close friendship! verda is a role model for her; they bond over science; they joke easily and have good chill fun. she was really excited to see him piecing together the truth about the supernatural and then devastated to see how he reacted. she feels insanely guilty and thinks it was selfish of her to let him figure it out, but is also cautiously optimistic about making it up to him as of the book 3 demo.

Relationship with Tina: very close! veronica isolated herself when she came back to wayhaven after school, and she is so grateful to tina for being her closest friend and link to the rest of the world during that time. hates keeping the supernatural from her, though. she didn’t like lying to tina to begin with, but she feels even worse about it now that verda knows, and now that tina has clearly picked up on something being wrong but she still can’t say anything.

Relationship with the Mayor: cannot stand him. hates the way he talks about rook, hates the way he talks to rebecca. she cooperates as necessary but doesn’t bother hiding her lack of patience/respect for him.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: basically fine. i think veronica might be a little too casual for him in the way she works, but she always gets the job done so he’s not too bothered by it. (she is ‘bend the rules,’ but more ‘strict rules aren’t important as long as you’re still doing good work’ than the ‘boooo fuck paperwork’ variety. so it’s mostly fine.) she also appreciates him as a minor link to rook.

Relationship with Haley: very friendly, but not super close. they get along great and could make pleasant conversation for hours, but ultimately don’t know each other super well despite the familiarity of growing up together.

Relationship with Elidor: such a comforting presence for veronica during her recovery! she is so grateful, so fond.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: veronica loves vieno’s cranky-yet-friendly vibe and they get along well! not close, but will stop to chat whenever they pass each other.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: loves their energy. always looks forward to the next opportunity to chat with them, and fully supports any harmless dunking on UB even if she rarely joins in.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: going through the house of mirrors and then coming home for them to appear in her apartment and infect bobby was one of thee worst experiences of her life, and it’s hard for her to get past that + the illness in general. sympathizes with them, and got them to sign the treaty, but is still kind of unsettled by everything that happened and by falk.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): some vague figures i have in mind but no one i’ve really developed. a couple friends from college, and maybe an elderly couple that lives on her childhood street and used to check in her.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: her usual demeanor is very warm and casual. sincere but private--she’s pretty blunt and likes to be direct with people, but steers conversations away from personal topics. likes to joke around and doesn’t take herself that seriously. but behind all this, she’s extremely stubborn and won’t shy away from conflict if she thinks you’re in the wrong (which is why she seems like a different person in the first half of book 1. UB is surprised by how like... chill and nice she is once they clear the air). a workaholic, self-reliant and secure but still pretty hard on herself, takes a lot of responsibility for the people around her.

Strengths: so dedicated. honest and trustworthy, has a strong moral compass and can always be counted on to do her absolute best. flexible and intuitive, her brain works really fast.

Weaknesses: cannot compartmentalize or separate herself from a case, throws herself so recklessly into everything (in terms of both physical danger and emotional burnout). doesn’t necessarily hold grudges but has a hard time letting go of hurt, still can’t think objectively about bobby or rebecca.

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: somewhere on the US east coast idk what to tell you. perhaps a carolina or a virginia.

What is their personal history?: veronica was pretty social and well-liked around wayhaven growing up. she was known as just a really good kid; she was an overachiever and got along with almost anyone. in college, she felt like she was free of something and took a very work hard/play hard approach to life. always doing or going, whether it was for school or work or fun. she really enjoyed life during this time but crashed and burned pretty hard when she and bobby broke up; a lot of her plans were delayed until the plagiarism incident was resolved and she didn’t really have the heart to pursue them afterwards.

a year or so after graduating, she returned to wayhaven with the intention of taking one more year to regroup, and she has been stuck there longer than she meant to be and has kind of hit a wall when book 1 starts.

If they weren't a detective, what would their dream job be?: she was on track to become a biochemist and it was her dream job but then the main plot happened to her.

Anything else you'd like to share: i don’t really know enough to fully explain this, but no OC i love is a cop so like. i think maybe the job she took when she got back to wayhaven was a douglas-esque receptionist role for detective reele’s private office. then reele retired and small town politics + veronica’s history of useful contributions to cases in her downtime at work led to her being pressured to take up the mantle. it’s hard to explain why she’s a detective when she so deeply does not want to be one but i am Trying (or maybe she would have jumped at the chance to do something marginally closer to forensics?? who knows)

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: aries is what i assigned her when i first made her and i think it suits her! plus it’d be fun for her and M to be twins. this goes hand-in-hand with my birthday commitment issues though

Hobbies: music (she plays guitar and bass and sings a little), running, gaming unfortunately. i could also see her having been into boxing or some martial art but idk what exactly!

Likes: early morning stillness, DIY projects, t-shirts with inexplicable slogans and other weird thrift store finds

Dislikes: overly sweet food or drink, when cold weather lasts too long, being lied to or “protected” from the truth

Drink of choice: something with gin maybe. also feels a great fondness and gratitude for cheap wine.

Starbucks order: i truly know nothing about coffee. is it weird to order black coffee at starbucks

Favorite food: variations on spicy chicken soup! she eats a lot of crockpot meals for convenience and they’ve grown on her, and she has a few different recipes based on whatever she has on hand.

Favorite color: maybe like a rusty orange

Favorite music: she will listen to anything, but her favorite is probably folk rock, or sometimes stuff with soul or old school country vibes. big thief is a good example of an artist she’d be into i think! also was very into the indie music scene in her college town and still follows some of those bands.

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): loves old, campy, unselfconsciously optimistic sci-fi. loves star trek tos. also a fan of documentaries of all kinds.

Favorite season: summer

Anything else you'd like to share: a kiss for you reading this mwah

#oc: veronica langford #i wrote most of this in my post-vaccine delirium and did not edit it so. apologies if that is obvious #anyway if you read all/any of this thank u!!! i would love to write more for veronica and w/ayhaven but my sole writing brain cell has- #-always been allergic to t/wc for some reason. One Day. love her so dearly tho #once again macrodosing on shame by posting a filled out oc questionnaire. thank u everyone for witnessing

[heartsywritesthethings]

Tickling! Plus Ultra! 5 (End)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The class of 1-A was quickly transported over to Momo Yaoyorozu’s mansion after both Bakugo and Deku were taken from the villains. They all had bags with their clothes and other items with them, standing in the middle of the foyer awkwardly. Even Momo seemed to be awkwardly standing around, even though this was her house. Sure, he had a few of the students over before, but never in a situation like this. Bakugo was being more distant than usual, not even standing near Kirishima like he usually did. Deku was smiling, but it was strained. Even Kirishima who was usually their spot of light in darkness, seemed to have a cloud over his head. 

“Alright, everyone, let’s get everyone settled and…uh…” Momo said, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. She took a deep breath before leading everyone to their rooms. 

“We should try and play a game to get everyone’s spirits up before we fall asleep.” Iida said, though the steam had left his voice. All of that running around had really taken the wind out of him. 

“I…I think I’m a little too tired for our kinds of games tonight, guys.” Deku said, rubbing at his sides absently. All of the tickling from both their games and…especially since Toga had really done a number on his ticklish nerve endings. He wasn’t exactly ready for another round. 

“‘Night.” Bakugo said curtly. He stepped into a room and closed the door behind him. The other students of 1-A heard the lock click and that was about it. 

“Guess he’s tired.” Kirishima hummed to himself. He stared at the door a moment longer, wanting to go in and help Kacchan. It couldn’t feel good being attacked and kidnapped so many times by the league of villains. He couldn’t even imagine what those villains must have done and said to him.

“Well, everyone else is going to have to share bedrooms. I’ll take the couch in the main room since Bakugo took a room to himself.” Momo said with a small sigh. Not that she could blame him, but it still wasn’t entirely fair for him to just lock himself in some random house.

“Don’t worry about it, Momo! Since you were so nice to let us stay in your house, I’ll take the couch.” Kirishima said with a charming smile. Momo thought about it for a moment before shrugging. She was absolutely exhausted after making so many things on such a short notice earlier tonight. 

“Alrighty then. The rest of you can follow me.” Momo said, waving for the rest of the class to shuffle behind her.

On the couch, Kirishima checked his phone for just about the millionth time. He was waiting for Bakugo to finally tell him that he was alright. A meme. A link to a Youtube channel. Anything. When nothing came across, he decided to put matters into his own hands. In the Bakugo Squad Group chat (Chaos Crew), he decided to share the code for the game that Bakugo couldn’t say no to.

QWTRZ - Among us code.

Kirishima’s red character ran around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join. 

A pink character with a flower named SlimePrincess joined.

A yellow character with the dum sticker named ChargeBolt joined.

A white character with the floppy brown hat named 0 joined.

A purple character with a red beanie named EarJackD joined.

Kirishima chewed on his bottom lip as he waited. If they waited much longer, then they would be kicked for inactivity. Damn…Bakugo must really be in a bad mood if he didn’t want to play a game where he could slaughter his friends.

An orange character with an egg on top named ExplosionMrdr joined.

Kirishima smiled at his screen and began the game. The little sprites began running around the map and Kiri’s character stuck with Bakugo’s. He wished that there was a way he could chat with him within the game, but just sticking with him was good enough. 

Well, that was until the little orange guy turned around and stabbed him in the back. Kirishima pouted at his screen. Just like Bakugo to kill him first thing in the game. 

As a ghost, Kirishima’s character followed Bakugo’s around the map as he jumped in and out of vents and slashed at passersby. It was a short game and an absolute slaughterhouse. The very last crewmate who was left alive as the game ended had been Sero. 

The next game, it was Kirishima who was the Imposter. He followed Bakugo around, ready to kill at a moment’s notice. As he did, Bakugo’s character ran to the button and pressed it. 

What the hell?

ExplosionMrdr: it’s ****** hair.

SlimePrincess: Proof?

0: Proof?

ChargeBolt: Where?

EarJackD: No one died, Denki.

EarJackD: Kinda sus.

ExplosionMrdr: u idiots its literally **** hair

ExplosionMrdr voted.

0: Anyone wanna follow me to Medbay? I gotta get scanned.

RedR10t: Ill go with u

ChargeBolt: How do I vent like pink did?

EarJackD: im voting denki. Sus af.

EarJackD voted.

ChargeBolt voted.

RedR10t voted.

SlimePrincess voted.

0 voted.

No One was Ejected. (1) Imposter remains. 

The game continued. Kirishima followed Bakugo again, but this time decided to turn off the lights and then kill Bakugo’s character in front of the medbay. No one saw because of the lowered lights.

There was a frustrated yell that the entire mansion could hear. Bakugo stormed out of his room and the sound of his pounding footsteps grew louder and louder. Kirishima stared at his phone screen as he heard his impending doom get closer and closer to him.

Bakugo grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to his feet.

“Is it you? Are you the imposter?” Bakugo yelled in his face.

Wait, what?

“U-uh, it’s just a game, dude and I didn’t mean to kill you–” Kirishima stammered. This was definitely not the reaction he had wanted. Sure, the frustrated scream and the storming out of the room was something he wanted, but this seemed like something more.

“Did you sell us out, shitty hair? Did you tell that stupid group of low lives what we were up to?” Bakugo yelled, almost as if he didn’t even hear anything that Kirishima had said. 

“Dude, what are you talking about?” Kirishima asked, putting his hand on Bakugo’s wrist. It was a small gesture, but Bakugo retracted his hand. Bakugo ran his hands through his hair in stress.

“Just fucking tell me if it’s you. You can’t keep lying to my fucking face.” Bakugo continued, his voice trembling. Small sounds of footsteps could be heard as the others in the class peeked out of their rooms to see what all of the commotion was about. Kirishima frowned and took Bakugo’s wrist and led him into a different room. 

“Alright, dude. What is going on? I’m sorry for killing you in the game, but this is a little much.” Kirishima said. He reached out and placed a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder, but he pulled away. 

“There’s someone here, shitty hair. Someone here that could have sold us out. Could still be selling us out! It could be you for all I fucking know!” Bakugo yelled, pointing an accusatory finger in Kirishima’s direction. 

The red head sighed, a look of pity crossing his face. Whatever those villains had said to him…they made him think that there was some kind of traitor among the UA students. With how many times they had been caught and Bakugo had been kidnapped…it would make sense to a degree. 

“Kacchan…look at me.” Kirishima said, stepping closer to Bakugo.

“Don’t get close to me!” Bakugo said, flinching away from his friend. He looked away from the red head, his body shaking all over. Kirishima took the risk of getting burned and wrapped his arms around Bakugo, hugging him as tightly as he could.

“Katuski…please. Take a deep breath, man.” Kirishima said softly. 

Ever so slowly, Bakugo melted into the embrace. He wrapped his arms around Kirishima’s waist and buried his head in Kirishima’s neck. 

“That bastard…whoever it is in this dumbass class…I’ll kill them.” Bakugo grumbled. Kirishima shook his head, squeezing Bakugo closer to him. 

Having been taken hostage so many times has really gotten to him. After being beaten around and taken away from his friends so many times, it was perfectly reasonable that some trust issues towards his friends would start to surface.

“None of us would do that to you, man. Seriously. You may be loud and obnoxious, but everyone in this class thinks of you as a friend.” Kirishima said, resting his hand on the back of Bakugo’s head. He could feel something wet against the shoulder of his shirt and he just knew that Bakugo was…crying. It broke his heart. 

“There’s…someone here, Kiri. They’re going to take us down from the inside. It’s so damn stupid.” Bakugo wheezed, clawing at the back of Kirishima’s shirt. Kirishima sighed heavily, feeling tears of his own in his eyes as he held his friend. It really broke his heart to see Kacchan like this. This hurt. 

“No one is out to get you, Bakugo. Even if they are, I-I’ll protect you, okay?” Kirishima told him. He meant every word of it too. He pat his hand against Bakugo’s back and pulled away ever so slightly.

“Come on, let’s go to bed, okay?” He said. 

Bakugo pulled away and wiped his face wildly with his shirt. 

“Whatever. Yeah, sure. You should probably sleep in a bed, dumbass.” He grumbled and turned to walk back up to the room that he had stormed out of. Kirishima sniffled and wiped his own tears from his face. He snatched up his phone and his bag of stuff as he walked up to the bedroom. Once inside, Bakugo threw himself on the bed with very little grace. Kirishima set his stuff down on a nearby bedside and crawled into the bed as well. Once he did, Bakugo slowly pulled himself by Kirishima’s side. He rested his head on Kirishima’s shoulder, threw an arm around his waist, and tangled their legs together. Kirishima couldn’t help but smile as the blonde got himself comfortable. 

“Despite everything, I’m glad the class got to know your special weakness. Now I can tickle you out in the open,” Kirishima said, sliding his fingertips up and down Bakugo’s back. Bakugo squirmed slightly, but he didn’t remove himself from Kirishima’s side.

“Bet your ass that I’ll kill you tomorrow. You won’t escape my wrath.” Bakugo grumbled, pushing his face further against Kirishima’s shoulder.

“Plus ultra?” Kirishima teased and tweaked a couple of Bakugo’s ribs. 

“Pluhus Ultra.” Bakugo chuckled. 

Kirishima hummed softly and pressed his lips against the top of Bakugo’s head in a soft kiss. 

“Shut up and go to sleep, shitty hair.” Bakugo said. Kirishima let his fingers drag up and down Bakugo’s back just a few strokes longer before he slowly drifted off to sleep.

12/25

 -Ga!babe

#25 Days of Fics #GA!babe #submission #Tickling Plus Ultra #12/25 #a lil bit of among us in there #some traitor/imposter angst #NICE #still love that horikoshi just forgot that completely #that's the end of the my hero fics for this baby! #nicely done babe always love your writing #and the bakusquad is just so good #and now I'm caught up enjoy the double post since I suuuuuuuuck

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love - Part 9

A/N: OMG its been a while!

Hope your all doing okay 💕

This is just a chapter full of fluff im not gonna lie! 💕

Waking up the day after the premiere i dreaded looking at my phone so i just left it on the side and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast. I wasn't ready to read all the hateful comments again, as long as i didn't look i could just pretend they didn't exist and enjoy my day with Chris. I switched on the radio and hummed along to the song on the radio as i started cooking the bacon and eggs, i actually felt pretty good.

Once breakfast was ready and i had fed Dodger i headed to the bedroom to wake Chris up, he'd had a few drinks last night and had slept like the dead!

"Hey babe.... wake up i made breakfast" i said leaning against the doorframe as i admired the naked man in front of me... he was laying face down hugging my pillow with the sheets just covering his ass. He cracked one eye and looked at me, a sleepy smile spreading across his face as he reached a hand out to me.

"Come back to bed" he mumbled.

"Nope, ive cooked breakfast its getting cold" i chuckled crossing my arms and waiting for him to get up.

"At least come and give me a kiss first"

"I forget how needy you get when your hungover..." i rolled my eyes shaking my head but took the few steps forward and took his hand. Chris pulled me closer and rolled onto his back with a wicked grin. As he pulled me onto the bed with him we both laughed before i leaned forward and gave him the kiss he wanted. I suddenly pulled back with wide eyes looking down at him, i saw the worry flashing over his face.

"What is it? Did i hurt you?" He sat up suddenly trying to work out what was wrong. I slowly shook my head before a smile spread on my face.

"The baby just kicked.... like a proper kick. Not just the little flutters i've been feeling....shit! it did it again!" I laughed grabbing Chris's hand and placing it on my stomach where id been feeling movement.

"I can't feel anything..." he said sadly shaking his head.

"Just wait.... give him a minute"

When the baby kicked again Chris's eyes went wide before he started laughing, excitement in his eyes as he brought his other hand up to cup my baby bump.

"Shit..... i felt that!"

"I told you!"

"That was something else....." he muttered staring at my bump his eyes tearing up, I leant forward pressing a kiss to his lips quickly.

"God i love you"

"I love you too. But come on, your son is hungry.... and mama needs sustenance" i laughed jumping up and rushing back out to the kitchen, i heard Chris laughing behind me and i turned round to catch him following me as he finished pulling on a pair of sweats.

"We're going back to bed after though right?" He asked catching up and wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"I think that can be arranged".

Scott had called around lunch time and Chris had obviously told him all about feeling the baby kicking..... half hour later Scott was at the door!

"Uncle Scott is here to feel the kicks!" He said sounding far too excited when he came bursting through the door.

"Sorry Uncle Scott but your nephew is not very active at the moment" i frowned rubbing a hand over my stomach.

"Thats fine i can wait..... i brought chinese" he smiled holding up the bag of take out, my eyes lit up instantly!

"Ooh did you get..."

"Yes! Of course i got you ribs! Do you take me for a fool??" He asked looking insulted that i would even consider he forgot the ribs.

"Your the best!" I beamed over at Scott suddenly overcome with hunger at the mention of ribs! "Hey babe?...."

"I'll get the pickles" Chris called back before i even asked making me laugh, i could just imagine the looks being exchanged between the brothers but i didn't care. Weird pregnancy cravings were the norm by now. A few seconds later Chris walked in with a plate of ribs, a few pickles on the side.... as soon as the smell reached me i felt the baby kick.

"Hey Scott.... your nephew is kicking!" I called out to Scott who was still plating up his food, be came running out and dramatically dived into the empty seat next to me.

"Hey! Be careful!" Chris scolded his brother shaking his head as he handed me the plate.

"Sorry but i didn't want to miss it again!"

"Give me your hand" i held my hand out for Scotts hand and placed it where i was feeling movement "okay just wait a minute......" i said casually as i tucked in to my food, a moan escaping at how good this food was!

"Jesus, you really like those ribs don't you?" Scott laughed.

"You cant even begin to imagine the satisfaction i get from this right now" i pointed to my plate "its even better than sex!"

"Hey!" Chris moaned looking at me like i spat in his food.

"Im not saying the sex is bad.... because wow i cant get enough of you..."

"Ewww" Scott grumbled making me and Chris laugh.

"Sorry Scotty! But its true!" I took a bite of my pickle and moaned again "honestly, you have no idea how good this is right now".

As if the baby was agreeing he gave a kick right where Scotts hand was resting, his eyes went wide for a few seconds then he was leaning closer talking to my bump, introducing himself as Uncle Scott promising to be the best uncle ever!

"Scott you do know the baby cant hear you" Chris rolled his eyes at his brother as he sat the other side of me.

"Of course he can! Babies can hear in the womb Chris and this baby is gonna know his Uncle Scotts voice!"

I looked at Chris smiling and shaking my head "his right, the baby can hear some stuff.... don't worry" i grabbed Chris's hand "he already knows your voice"

"You don't know that...."

"Sure i do, he moves more when you talk" i smiled "he knows his daddy's voice".

"Promise?"

"Promise".

We eventually finished eating and Scott was happy enough that he had felt the baby kicking. We were halfway through some movie the two of them chose when Scott looked up from his cell phone.

"How was your social media this morning after last night?"

"Not a clue.... i refused to look. I was in a good mood this morning , i didn't need to read all of those shitty comments....it stresses me out and thats no good for the baby....."

"You may be surprised, i've seen nothing but nice things being said. Obviously theres still the odd comment.... but most are saying how their happy for you both"

"Seriously....?" I looked over with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah"

"Wow..... i didn't expect that after the last time i was seen in public with you"

"Anything about the baby?" Chris asked his brother who shook his head.

"Funnily enough no one has mentioned it! Im surprised to be honest i thought they'd be all over that, you weren't exactly hiding that bump of yours"

"Maybe you should make an announcement before it gets out some other way...." i looked at Chris and ran a hand over my swollen belly.

"We can do that if your comfortable with it?...."

"Honestly i just want to be able to leave the house without worrying what i'm wearing, worrying that someone will see that i'm pregnant before we've had the chance to break the news ourselves....."

"Okay..... we'll sort something out".

At some point in the evening i must have fallen asleep because one minute i was watching the movie with Chris and Scott and the next i woke up in bed. The room was dim the only light coming from a lamp on Chris's side of the bed. He was laying close i could tell from his body heat, i was just about to turn to see if he was awake or not when he spoke, but he wasn't talking to me..... he was talking to the baby.

"Hey buddy..... i'm your dad....." he said quietly and i felt him gently stroke my stomach "god i suck at this...." he sighed "i just.... i guess i just wanna make sure you know me and that i love you and your mama so much. I promise i'm gonna take real good care of you both....."

"You already do take care of us" i said quietly reaching a hand up to run through his hair....he looked up at me looking a little embarrassed.

"You wasn't supposed to hear that"

"Are you really worried that the baby won't know who are?" I asked looking into those gorgeous blue eyes of his that i get lost in way too easy!

"Well i wasn't until Scott opened his big mouth but now its all i can think about"

"Chris i promise you your son knows your voice already......"

"How can you be sure?"

"He goes crazy whenever your around especially when your talking"

"He does?...."

"Yep" i smiled moving his hand over to the other side so he could feel the constant kicking currently going on.

"See!"

"Thats kinda crazy"

"I know right?..... so can you please turn off the light and come to bed im exhausted" i chuckled, Chris quickly kissed me and bent to drop a kiss on my baby bump before switching off the lamp. He got into bed pulling me against his chest, his hand spread on the bump and mumbled a goodnight.

"Goodnight.... we love you"

"I love you both too".

I fell asleep with a smile on my face thinking about how god damn sweet this man was and i couldn't help but think about what a great dad he was gonna be.

Baby Love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony @ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface @afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280 @southerngracela @bethabear12 @letsdisneythings @sellulii @patzammit @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict @deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03 @shipatheart @little-dark-empress @barnesandrogersworld @dumblani @xxloki81xx @jesseswartzwelder @lizzyclifford13-blog @booktease21

#chris evans #reader insert #steve rogers #steve x reader #chris evans x reader #babylove #baby love #friendstolovers

[prosopopeya]

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

#happy new year #annual meme