#i just feel stupid for feeling like i mattered to people

[allllium]

Secret

~ This took so much longer than I wanted it to, yay writers block right? 😭

~ Angst, Fluff at end, WC:2,737

~Remus is keeping a secret

Your boyfriend is cheating on you. That's the only explanation for the way he's acting. Every month he disappears, not just for an hour or two, but full days. Most of the time he disappears for about two to three days. And even if he doesn't disappear, he acts super weird around you.

You've tried to ask James and Sirius about it, but of course they never say anything. They are loyal to bone, which usually you respect but now it's just frustrating. You thought you were a part of the group, clearly you were wrong.

What are you supposed to do? You've already tried his friends, and spent months obsessing over behavior. Analyzing every little thing he does for you and other people, trying to find out who Remus would rather be with than you. You can't keep feeling like this.

You're in the library, trying and failing to focius on your book. Usually Remus would be here with you, but he's not. You haven't seen him since yesterday morning, when he all but pushed you out of his dorm room.

At first this whole thing was frustrating, and confusing, but now you feel rejected, a feeling your boyfriend should never give you. At first you raked your mind for any other reason why Remus would act like this. You went through things like illness, something about his friends, family maybe, you even thought it might have something to do with school work, but none of those explain why he's nowhere to be seen.

So now here you are. On the verge of tears while sitting in the library, wishing he would just come clean about what he's doing. At least then it would be easier to break up with him. But what can you do without proof, left with nothing but a bad feeling.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” You are quickly pulled from your thoughts by James’s voice coming from behind you. He's always been incredibly sweet to you, mostly because he thought it would help convince Lily to go out with him, but you also know he's just a naturally good person.

“Fine, Jamie.” You give him the best smile you can muster, obviously he sees right through it. He slings his arm around your shoulder and plops down in the seat next to you.

“What's on your mind?” He seems genuinely concerned but you don't believe it. Real friends tell friends when they're being cheated on. You wish. In real life, however, they always stay loyal to whoever came first. You love that Remus has such great support when he needs it but what about you?

“It's nothing, doesn't matter.” You try your best to reassure him.

“No, something is clearly wrong. How can I help?”

“It's nothing, James, just drop it. Please.” He knows you're serious when you use his real name, usually resorting to some stupid nickname.

“Yeah, okay. If you need anything just let me know.” You only nod as he turns to leave. You take a big breath when you're alone again.

You're honestly trying not to panic. You love Remus, a lot. But you can't be with a cheater, you just can't. And if you break up with him then you lose all your friends, because of course, they were his friends first. Which means you have to start over, all alone. Yeah, no reason to panic.

Over the next few days you don't see Remus. Not because of him, this time it's you trying to disappear. This is what happens, he ignores you for a few days then comes back all clingy as if nothing happened. The first couple times you tried to ask about it but you never got a straight answer. He told you he was busy with his friends or with school, which was clearly a lie, so eventually you stopped asking.

You've had to change your daily routine a lot just to avoid him. Instead of going to his dorm for bed, you go to your own. You're not eating in the dining hall, because he would sit with you. You're sitting away from him in class and turning the other way when you see him in the halls. Apparently your avoidance has been so obvious, McGonagall stopped him after a class to ask what happened. You didn't stay long enough to overhear his answer.

“Oh, Angel!” You hear your boyfriend’s voice call for you in the hallway, you do nothing but walk faster, knowing you won't be able to keep it together long enough to face him right now. “I know you heard me.” His voice is much closer as he grabs your shoulder to stop you. He takes the books out of your hand and holds them behind his back.

“What do you want, Remus?” You ask him, not turning around.

“I want to know why my girlfriend has been ignoring me for days now?”

You no longer feel sad when you finally turn and look at him, the irony of his statement filling you with sudden frustration and anger, “Oh really? What about you Remus? You ignore me for days every month and I still don't have an answer for that!”

He stays silent, analyzing your expression before continuing, “It's different,” is all he says.

“How Remus? I would love for you to explain how exactly this is different.”

“It just is!”

“You know what, I don't even care. Come find me when you can explain, otherwise don't bother.” You feel like you're going to collapse as you walk away, leaving him in the hall, with your books in his hand.

You didn't think it would be this hard. Yet after a few more days have passed it seems Remus took the ‘don't bother’ part of your speech more seriously than any other.

You honestly thought he would at least try to give you any kind of explanation. Even if it is a lie.

James and Sirius haven't talked to you either. Remus obviously told them about what you said, they don't want to be friends with you if you aren't with Remus.

Over the last few days, you've spent a lot more time with Lily and the rest of the girls.

“So, you wanna tell me what happened?” Lily asks you. You're sitting with her in her dorm with Mary and Pandora.

“I don't know what to say.” You shrug. What are you supposed to say? You don't want to tell her Remus is probably cheating on you, on the very off chance he isn't. And you don't want to admit how much you miss being around him.

“What did you guys fight about?” Mary pipes up. At this point the whole school has noticed the behavior between the two of you. Everyone has been talking about it, spreading theories as to why such a happy couple has been acting like this.

“It wasn't a fight,” You begin to explain to the girls, “I told him unless he can tell me why he keeps disappearing I don't wanna talk to him.”

You don't miss the look Lily and Pandora exchange. Mary focuses her gaze onto the floor, none of them look at you as Pandora speaks up this time.

“I mean he probably has a good reason.” She tries to offer.

“And you all know, don't you?” Great, you're officially the only one who doesn't know this secret your boyfriend is keeping.

“It's not what you think.” Lily tells you softly.

“Then why won't he tell me?”

“I don't know,” Lily tells you again, “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I tried that, but it didn't work.”

“Then don't ask him to talk, tell him you're not happy. I promise he's not trying to hurt you.”

“And how do you know? He apparently told everyone but me Lily, what am I supposed to think?”

No one responds.

“I don't know what to do.” Remus tells his friends, running his hands over his face in despair.

“Well, I vote you stop being a dumbass but we know that won't happen.” Sirius offers him. The four of them haven't left their dorm all day, trying to convince Remus he needs to be honest with you. Actually Peter and Sirius have been trying to convince him, James hasn't talked to him all day. He knows why you were upset in the library and isn't trying to hide his irritation, however, he doesn't want to say something to hurt Remus. So he stays quiet.

“I agree. What's the worst that can happen?” Peter shrugs, you'd think Remus would listen to him considering he's the one in the longest lasting relationship.

“Uh, she could leave me!” He practically shouts, rolling his eyes at the look shared between Sirius and Peter.

“Oh you mean like what she wants to do now?” Remus doesn't even notice who says it, too distracted by the ice running through his veins.

“You really think she'll want to break up over this?” His voice is barely a whisper, the slight heartbreak clear in his tone.

“This is one of the biggest parts of your life and you haven't told her. She knows you've been lying about it and you haven't talked to her once since she said “don't bother.” In my opinion all you're doing is showing her you don't care.” Peter tries his best to explain this gently to Remus. Not wanting to hurt him but knowing Remus won't actually understand till he knows how you feel about it.

“I need to tell her. I just- I don't want her to leave me because of it.”

James lets out an exasperated sigh at Remus's words. “She's not going to leave you for being a werewolf, she loves you just as much as you love her. If she breaks up with you it's because of how long you've kept this a secret.

Another week goes by with no word for Remus. You're started to give up hope that he'll even try to talk to you again. Unless to finally end this relationship. Thinking about either of these options hurt your heart, not wanting this to end or go on.

“It's not until you're leaving the dining hall after dinner that you're pulled into an empty classroom. You can tell by the touch on your wrist that it's him.

“What do you want, Remus?” You immediately ask. You try to keep your face as straight as possible, not wanting him to see how upset you really are.

“I need to explain.”

“Seriously? Now?”

“Can I please just tell you what's going on? You can yell or insult me all you want afterwards, I just need you to know.” He lets go of your wrist but refuses to look away from your face.

You give a small nod in agreement but it's all he needs to jump right into what he wants to say, you have the feeling this whole plan was practiced beforehand.

“I was not trying to hurt you. I love you a lot. More than I have ever loved anything before and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you because I'm not normal. I figured if there were something wrong with who I am, I can change, I can fix that but I can't fix something I have no control over and I felt like I would die if I lost you because of it.”

“Because of what?” Is all you ask.

He takes a deep breath before finally explaining, “I'm a werewolf.”

“Oh screw you.” You roll your eyes and quickly walk out of the classroom.

Remus doesn't follow you out. He stays standing in the empty room for a few minutes, confused about the interaction that just took place.

He comes to your shared class almost halfway through and doesn't look at you until it's over.

“Angel, please talk to me.” Remus begs, following out of the classroom. You shake your head and begin to speed up your walk. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him, “Baby please.”

“What do you want, Remus? Here to lie to me more.” You turn around to confront him.

“I'm not lying about being a werewolf.” He defends, eyes widening in bewilderment.

“That's not what I'm mad about.” Your tone grows more angry as you talk. “We've been dating for how long now and you don't tell me your biggest secret? You've had me panicking every fucking month wondering where you where and who you were with. All because you what? Can't trust me with this big secret?”

Remus visible winces as your voice grows louder. “Please don't be so loud.”

“Oh yeah! Don't trust me not spill anything!”

“That's not what I meant, love. Can we just talk about this, somewhere private.”

“So what? So you can make up some lame excuses?” You turn again and try to leave.

“No angel, that's not why I didn't tell you.”

You pause. As much as you want to keep walking you love him. Deep inside you know exactly why he didn't tell you but you don't think you can bear to hear him say it. You know it's not because of you but you feel like you failed. You feel as if you failed to make him know just how much you love him, just how worth it he is. You want nothing more than for him to be happy and if he hasn't told you about his big secret clearly he's happy enough with you.

“It has nothing to do with you, I promise. I wanted to tell you so many times, so much more than you know but whenever I tried I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't open as much as I tried. I was terrified that you would leave, I know you never would, okay, I know. But the thought that you could stopped me, it stops me from doing many things.”

“Why?” You ask, tears arriving in your eye line.

“Because I can't live without you. I know how cheesy that sounds but it's true. All my life I've dealt with the consequences of being a werewolf even from people that don't know. You have helped me be myself more than anyone ever has and that's enough. I can't bear the thought of you leaving let alone the thought of knowing I pushed you away. Knowing this pushed you away and it wasn't something I could stop because if I could I would. I know it makes things harder for you. I hear how people talk about you because of my scars and how awkward I am and you don't deserve that, you've made me think that maybe I don't deserve it either. I can't lose you. I can't let this push you away because without you I go back to who I used to be. And now that you've shown me who I really am, I can't go back to being him.”

You listen to his words silently, trying your best not to let the tears fall. He doesn't deserve to feel this way and hearing him admit that makes you want to cry with happiness for him, for yourself in succeeding to make him feel as loved as he is. You want to tell him this but he continues.

“I love you, angel. And I'm so sorry I couldn't get myself to tell you before. I am so sorry I made you worry and made other people lie for me. I don't know what to say except for that. I don't know how I can make this better.”

“You already did, Rem.” This time you turn to face him, seeing the tears on his face break your heart even more. “I mean I can't really fault you for your mouth sabotaging you.”

A small smile blooms on his face. “How dare it.”

“I know what it's like to be that anxiety. I thought you were cheating on me.”

“I would never!” He looks genuinely offended at your words.

“I know baby, but there's still that fear.”

“I'm really sorry.” He pulls you in for a hug.

“I know, Rem. I wish I could've helped you more.”

“Dove, you've already done more than enough, I love you.”

“I love you too. But if I find out you're keeping something else I'll kill you as you sleep.”

You feel Remus grin into the crook of your neck.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin fic #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #possessive remus lupin #remus lupin fan fiction #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin hurt/comfort #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin x f!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you

[fictionadventurer]

As I make my way through Vanity Fair, I'm a little bit obsessed with how Thackeray is so brutal in pointing out his characters' flaws and sarcastic about everything, so you wonder if he can see the good in anything or if he's just here to tear everything and everyone down--and yet he still manages to make you genuinely care about these people. He'll point out all the ways his heroine is stupid and weak--and then turn upon the imagined reader who might be criticizing her for those very things and be like, "I'd like to see you do better." He'll drown you in this tidal wave of satire and then suddenly take your breath away with the most heartfelt emotional moment.

He somehow manages to blend these two different approaches to the story in a way that feels completely natural. It's like he's the cynical wit showing off how smart he is and how much he doesn't care, except that underneath it all he cares so much. Or like the sarcasm is driven not by cynicism, but by idealism that can see how no one lives up to those ideals, so he has to laugh at everyone to avoid falling into despair. I don't know. I haven't finished the book yet so I can't say where he's going with this, but it's fascinating.

#books #vanity fair #william thackeray #i struggled through some of the first sections (the sarcasm got to be so overbearing) #only to be knocked off my feet by the moments of sincerity in the war section #mrs. major o'dowd making the coffee! it's going to live in my heart #the moment when amelia finally goes off at becky and becky can't even respond #it was so shocking and so cathartic and so right #there's even a death i had pegged from the very earliest moments of the relationship #thought the guy 1000% deserved it and was waiting for his comeuppance and his wife's freedom #and then when he threw it at me in a single chapter-ending sentence my only thought was sorrow for how devastated she was going to be #these people are silly and stupid and selfish and vulgar and greedy and grasping but they MATTER! #they have hearts and feelings and we should care about them because they're people just like we are #idk it just fascinates me and i need to see where he's going with this

[cretenu]

PICTURE YOU - KOTAROU BOKUTO

content: bokuto x reader, him confessing to you at a carnival with your friends kuroo, kenma, and akaashi, pure fluff

warnings: a small amount of cursing

notes: yayy my first post! im rlly excited to share this oneshot, bokuto is my baby so i knew i had to write him first :,)

soundtrack: picture you - chappell roan

: ̗̀➛ It was the end of a long, but undeniably fun, day at the fair with your close friends Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma, and Akaashi. Needless to say, the fair was absolutely Bokuto’s idea. His carefree (and almost childlike) attitude was the reason you fell for him in the first place. You expressed your feelings about Bokuto to Kuroo, knowing you could trust him, even if it meant some lighthearted teasing. What you didn't know is that Bokuto felt the same way for you– and he also confided in Kuroo with his feelings. 

  The sun started to set, painting the sky in beautiful shades of pink and yellow. Despite a day full of rides, games, and food, there was something you guys hadn't done; something your dear friend Kuroo had saved for last. He knew you had a debilitating fear of both heights, and rides that could be set up and torn down in a matter of hours. Yet somehow, you were standing in line for the ferris wheel against your will. A pit sat in your stomach as you stared up at the giant metal structure that swayed with the wind. “If I die of a heart attack within the next 30 minutes, it’s Kuroo’s fault”, you said, shooting him a look that could kill. “Of all the rides you've been on today, you're gonna let the ferris wheel get the best of you?” he teased. It was true. You were dragged onto every strange spinning upside down ride that day, but the rickety build of the ferris wheel managed to make you sick. Bokuto, however, looked as though he could explode from excitement. Watching his childlike wonder brought you some relief. You were too busy watching Bokuto in awe to notice Kuroo slipping the ride operator a five and whispering in his ear. As you neared the front of the ride, Kuroo looked at you and Bokuto with a stupid smile on his face. “Hm, looks like the carts only fit four people!” He said slyly. “Hey, wait a minute!” Bokuto protested, his golden eyes narrowing. “Are you-” Before he could finish his sentence, Kuroo was practically pushing Kenma and Akaashi into a cart with him as he shut the door. A couple carts passed before the ride stopped again, signaling you and Bokuto to enter the empty cart together. You reluctantly entered the cart with him as the both of you sat next to each other. As the ride started moving, Bokuto noticed your death grip on the seat and quickly caught on to your nervousness . “ Y/N are you.. scared?” He laughed slightly to himself. “Scared? No. We're just a thousand feet in the air on a ride that looks like it could collapse any second.” Bokuto laughed and looked at you sincerely as he scooted closer to you on the seat. As you reached the top of the ferris wheel, the light from the setting sun filled the air– and then the ferris wheel came to an abrupt stop.

“We’re dead.” You thought. As if on cue, Bokuto turned to you and saw the fear in your eyes as expected. The wind picked up and made the cart sway slightly, causing you to automatically grab onto the thing closest to you– Bokuto. “Hey, it’s okay.” He said, calmer than normal. “Look.” You followed his gaze. It was a breathtaking view from where the two of you sat. The setting sun overwhelmed you with every shade of yellow imaginable as you looked out on the city. Just like that, the nerves faded away. “It's beautiful..” you said under your breath. “It really is.” He said softly. You could feel his gaze shift from the breathtaking scene to you. “Y/N, can I tell you something?” You turned your head, noticing how he was closer than before. “Hm? Of course.” You said. You couldn't help but notice how the fiery sunset reflected off his golden eyes. There was a hesitance. Bokuto swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and looked into your eyes. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while, but I think you're really awesome and pretty and I totally have a crush on you and it’s totally okay if you don't feel the same-” “Bokuto.” You could off his nonsensical rambling with a blank stare. His expression softened. You laughed softly to yourself before responding. “Did you know I die a little inside every time I hear you refer to me as your friend?” He tilted his head slightly. “I like you, Kotarou. A lot. I actually have for a while now.” Bokuto’s gaze softened and a smile crept onto his face. As the ride finally started to move again, you both noticed Kuroo cheesing at you from a few carts ahead. “Hmph. That asshole.” You said jokingly. “Hey, if he didn't push us, I might've never told you how I feel in the first place!” Bokuto added. “Wait.” You turned to him. “He knew you liked me too?” He nodded sheepishly, his cheeks tinted pink. “Yeah. I might have talked about it a couple times.” A couple times was a gross understatement. Kuroo wished you could've seen the way Bokuto talked about you, absolutely beaming and eyes full of love. He was so into you, yet you had no idea. “That little shit.” You said. Bokuto chuckled. “Yeah he's a bastard, but he means well.” He glanced at Kuroo, who was giving him a thumbs up.

As the ride came to a stop, Kuroo, Kenma and Akaashi were standing at the exit as you and Bokuto walked pitifully to them. Kuroo was still smiling like an idiot; you had been played and he knew it. “Hm, here come the love birds!” He shot at you. “You must want me dead, Kuroo.” You said as the group started walking ahead of you. “It worked out in your favor, didn't it?” Kuroo muttered. “We could've died up there!” You said.  Kuroo laughed at your protests and playfully hit your shoulder. “You're an asshole.” You said. “Nah, you love me.” Kuroo teased. Despite your irritated facade, you couldn't deny your deep appreciation for Kuroo. After all, he was a loyal friend, and he managed to get the stubborn owl head to tell you how he felt.

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #hq #hq x reader #hq photos #hq fanart #hq fluff #haikyu fluff #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu movie #karasuno #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto koutaro x reader #hq bokuto #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo testuro #kozume kenma #kenma #hq kenma #akaashi keiji #hq akaashi #akaashi x reader

[feroluce]

NO OK BUT I'M STILL NOT OVER BOOTHILL AND DAN HENG AND THE JADE ABACUS IN ENA'S DREAM!!!!!

For some extra context, I have a whole henghill manifesto I wrote over here, but the tl;dr is that Dan Heng decides to use the Jade Abacus of Allying Oath to save the Express Crew the first time. Boothill urges him to think it over carefully, but he doesn't stop him. And then, the second time Dan Heng decides to use it, we get this instead:

And just! That's so!! so!!!

Because like. We see in the first battle against Sunday that that Jade Abacus is effective, like we really do just get an entire army lead by a whole-ass Emanator of The Hunt right to our location and ready to fuck shit up. It's important. It's incredibly valuable. That is a huge amount of power to hold in the palm of one's hand.

But Tiernan's relic works the same way.

Galaxy Rangers are terribly dangerous. Boothill comments on this when discussing Acheron's motives, because he can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to get The Hunt on their asses. They're considered to be on a level even above The Annihilation Gang.

And now, with the burial relic, he has a way to get thousands of them, almost immediately, and all in one place.

And you can't tell me that wouldn't be something extremely useful to Boothill, like literally life-saving. He's wanted by the IPC. He makes his living as a bounty hunter. His whole driving motivation in life right now is to do whatever he can, up to and including throwing away his own human body, to ruthlessly hunt down one man and kill him in revenge. Like that has to be dangerous, the IPC is a massive entity with far-reaching influence and money and power and weaponry. He surely must have already had some close calls.

Like can you imagine it? Galaxy Rangers are solitary creatures. If Boothill were to find himself near death, he would probably be all alone. Do you think he had regrets? Did he wonder if anyone would find his own burial relic? Did it feel the same way it did when they melted his flesh, replaced it with metal? Did he lay there with his vision slowly blacking out until he thought of home, and family, and the little daughter who he never even got to hear her first word, until he was so full of fury that he could prop himself up on his rage like a crutch and find help?

Tiernan's relic would have been like a get-out-of-jail-free card. Just for one time, no matter where Boothill was, someone would find him. The Galaxy Rangers aren't sociable or organized between themselves, but they help their own. Someone would save him.

He chooses to give all of that up to help Dan Heng.

And I just cannot get over it, especially the wording of it, the pause before he speaks, the gentle way he tells him to hold onto his once-in-a-lifetime treasure...!! He wants Dan Heng to leave this to him! He wants him to keep this precious item that will help him save his companions again in the future! And maybe it's just...wishful thinking, me reading too much into it? But I mean. Just the way he says it...

I really do think it comes from a place of deep kinship and respect. That there's a lot of thought and feeling behind that statement. Something from one Pathstrider of The Hunt to another. Boothill fought for his home and his family, he fought really really hard! But. Sometimes that just doesn't matter. And now he's watching Dan Heng fight for his, too.

When he made that decision the first time, Dan Heng was in the parlor car of the Astral Express. He was completely removed from any danger. He could have chosen to get the hell out of Dodge and not look back. Obviously we know he would never even consider such a thing, but it was technically an option, and Boothill watched him decide to go back into the proverbial lion's den for his friends anyway. And I'm sure that was part of what sealed his decision, to later use Tiernan's relic instead of the Jade Abacus to summon enough people to disrupt Ena's Dream. Because he greatly values ideas like righteousness and justice and saving people, and Dan Heng so beautifully embodies all of that and then some.

Boothill doesn't have people to protect anymore, only ghosts to avenge.

And there is just something so endlessly endearing about him wanting to help Dan Heng, to make sure his friend doesn't go through that the way he did.

#honkai star rail #henghill #boothill #dan heng #hsr #hsr boothill #hsr dan heng #bootheng #I feel like I'm just repeating myself a bunch and not saying anything orz #spinning my tires #do you get me. do you feel me. #do you understand my vision #does the blood in your mouth taste the same as mine. #I'm frothing at the mouth over here Hoyo how dare you get me so into a ship OTL #there are few things that get me in the heart so hard as 'character loses everything and uses it to make sure no one else goes through that #just #ARGH #Because Dan Heng has suffered so much in his life but it's never been this specific kind of loss. #He never had any kind of family to lose in the first place. He didn't until Himeko took him in. #But Boothill has been through all that and it sucked and he already really likes and relates to Dan Heng. #they're like two goofy little peas in a pod haha #so of course he wants to protect him #How could his heart not be swayed by him?

[lilacjk]

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : jungkook x reader

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: yandere, best friend to lover, jungkook is a hotty, angst

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: keep a tissue box with you guys

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 : He loves bieng my friend ,but he has girlfriend who he loves ....could this possibly change him from your close friend to a distant person .. And 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶���� 𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘤𝘰mfort

𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 :-

𝗔/𝗻: first all i am so sorry, so so so sorry.. I know it took this long but I just had a lot in plate this past time....i hope you enjoy 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀

*************************.

You cried, cried until you slept that night everything was blurry . For days you felt like you were sick nothing was making you happy you didn't wanted to live.

You felt utterly used Ridiculous.

Days after your argument with him. You ran into him at the grocery store .You went there so you could distract yourself after being shut in your apartment for 9 days . You were angry , you clearly were but then again you were naive you wanted to have a civil conversation. If it was to end you wanted to end this all on good terms.

"Hey" you greeted him, nervousness evident in your voice." uhh...hi" He could possibly see dark circles under your eyes it caused an uneasy feeling inside his heart. " Kook... Umm I wa -"

You were cut by an utterly annoying female voice you wished you never heard " jungkookie ... What is she doing here" . This bitch "I thought you said you ended your shitty friendship with her " that was your last straw, you knew she was the one that caused the drift between you and jungkook .

But you never thought he will bring the argument you two had in this way to her.. Clearly stating that he ended... "Oh , so you really wanted to end this up.. That's why you brought that shitty excuse of being busy " You said, not being able to control your emotions further. " Nari.. This is not what I meant.. Listen to me"

He sounded somewhat panicked" Stop stop it " You ran past him out of the store not being able to listen anything moreHe ran after you. He wanted to keep you away from him but reason and things where different than it was looking.. He held your hand turning you so you could face him " Listen to me, nari I don't want you to do anything stupid ".

"Shut up .. I am Fucking stupid… I’m so fucking stupid,” you cried.“Do I really not matter enough to you? All these years of being your best friend and… and this is how you treat me? I know you’re busy, I know work is hard. But college is hard too, people aren’t nice all the time and sometimes I wish I could call you, but I don’t want to bother you at work,” You cried harder

." Nari.. Please " You never screamed at him, you didn’t scream at anybody. You were always so soft, so gentle and tender. You were understanding. But Jungkook hurt you .More than once.And you were tired of it.

“I’m so sick of the person I love more than anything, hurting me like this… if this is how you’re going to treat me then I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” you said, voice breaking.“No, nari , please! Please don’t do this, I love you so much, just things are not straight right now nari, please!” He said, tears in his own eyes.

“Goodbye, Jeon… hope it’s worth it,” you said, turning to leave.Jungkook froze, his cheek stinging but he could hardly feel it over the agonizing pain that flared in his chest.He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.He was a fool…And he’d lost you for good

._______________*______________

Months passed and Jungkook stayed far away from you.No texts.No calls.But even after four months apart, you still couldn’t delete his number from your phone.

You couldn't bring yourself enjoying something or even talking to people . Its hard trying to ignore the pain in your heart but it's just there not going anywhere.. No matter matter how much you try you miss him, you really do You were now at the club waiting for your date to come , it weird being there alone.

It's not that you have come here first time but it's first time at club without jungkook. The volume of the music playing at this club was enough to blast your earbuds. The sweaty bodies clinging to your skin and the body odour in the air filling your nose trills was giving you ick. Sure, people are getting wild as time passes by but the dim lights was making it more sensual contrast to the atmosphere.

And there you see those dark eyes you wished you could just ignore staring at you , first at your face then at your outfit. It was the same outfit you suggested to buy just to tease jungkook cause it was way to reveling and he refused saying he don't want some weird guys ogling at you.

But after your fight you just found yourself doing everything that he refused to , out of annoyance just like you are doing now. He knew you didn't know he was there but your dress that was something he knew you did to irk him. “Hey! Y/n?” someone’s voice calling out to you make you came out of your thoughts.

When you focused, you saw your date standing a few foots away from you. You guys goes on a date some days ago, it went well and he suggested you should go on more dates with him, he would love that. He genuinely showed his interest towards you, even confessed to you that he likes you, very much. You were just feeling so sick of jungkook staring at you as if he will eat you . So without even a second thought you hugged your date.

If jungkook was there with his girlfriend enjoying why can't you. Jungkook is pissed, so much so that he goes straight to the seat he was occupying before, where his friends were seated and chugs down two shots in one go. Why is he so mad? He don’t know. Does It bothered him to see you with another man? Yes. Does he want you to stay by his side rather than that pathetic little piece of shit? Abso-fucking-lutely YES!

Jungkook just shrug it off as he took another shot which go straight down his throat, burning it in it’s way down. He doesn’t seem to find the reason why you like this men? Let alone date him? As much as he know, you’re not someone who is interested in these stuffs, so why now? It confuses and bothers him at another level.

What were you going to do now, have drinks with your date, kiss him or.. going to take him to your house and let him take your virginity. Now he found himself getting furious. But was he even getting himself so worked upMinutes passed, and then hour..... You were still with that guy visibly drunk as hell , and ready to go with him to probably fuck... That was the last straw for jungkook-

-----------------------------------------------

𝓘 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮 𝓾 𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓽 ... 𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓽 🦢☁✨

#jungkook x you #jungkook #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook x reader #bestfriend jungkook #best friend jungkook #bts ffs #bestfriend!jungkook #yandere jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fiction #jungkook fic recs #jungkook fwb #jungkook fluff

[ferigrieving]

abiditory

⊹ ࣪ in which touya todoroki finds himself again

a.n can you tell i dont know how buying a house works please. please give me tips on how to make this more realistic im so serious please old people out there. also canon divergent shoto already knows that dabi is touya i think theres no way that hes stupid enough.. not to know. i guess.

⤷ masterlist ; one ; three ; requests open

endeavour, number one hero, and his father, would be his mark.

when you were out the door, dabi leapt into action. he immediately began getting ready for his heist. pulling on different clothes, grabbing the necessary supplies, his heart was thrumming with excitement and nerves. he hadn’t done anything like this since he was a teenager, stealing from random civilians to buy cigarettes and snacks. but now, he was going after the big fish.

dabi wasn’t bothered by the risk of being caught. he’d been on the run for years, living a life filled with crime and danger. being a villain was his identity, and he embraced it fully. even if he got caught, even if this plan failed, it didn’t matter. 

he would risk everything, burn everything to ash, to make you happy. he didn’t care if he went down in flames. 

he’d take his father with him.

he grinned to himself as he finished gearing up. he looked almost like himself again as he looked in the mirror; dark clothes, face-mask, heavy boots, and a scowl that dared anyone who looked at him. he might look like a villain ready for business, but his mind was filled with thoughts of you. the sweet, domestic life he envisioned was at the forefront of his brain as he thought of you sitting on the porch of that house, the warm sun on your face. it would be worth everything.

dabi considered different ways to get the money. stealing from endeavor’s agency was one way, but it was risky and they had plenty of security. he couldn’t just walk up and take it. that left only one option. 

he had a feeling his old man would have his cash somewhere in his own home. he was a hero, after all. all that cash would be useless if it wasn’t kept safe in a bank somewhere. even he knew better than that.

dabi thought back to when he lived with his father. the layout of his big home was forever burned in his brain. it wouldn’t be hard to infiltrate. there were plenty of places to hide, plenty of access points, and plenty of windows to jump out of. he’d have to sneak past endeavor’s security, but with his knowledge of the house, it was possible.

he always wondered what the safe that he had seen once in the wall was for. the painting was wide open, hanging on its hinges. he’d always assumed it was full of boring adult stuff- tax papers, old photos, things like that. now, however, he knew better. there was probably thousands, if not millions, of yen hiding in that safe, all for the taking.

that would be his target. dabi would sneak in, find the safe, grab the cash, and sneak back out. it would be easy. and if anyone tried to stop him, well… he’d burn them to ash.

dabi crouched behind a tree on the edge of the todoroki estate, his eyes fixed on the building. he surveyed the house, seeing if anyone was home. endeavor would probably be at his agency, so now would be the best time to strike. he could take his time, rifle through that house, and not even leave a single trace of himself behind. no one would suspect a thing. 

he had to remind himself that this was all for you. for your happiness, and for his dreams to come true. with that thought in mind, he stepped through the gate and began scouting the area for a way in.

silently, he crept around the edge of the property, staying low and out of sight. he'd memorized the blind spots in the security as a kid, so he stuck to them. sneaking past the guards and through the gate was easy. he just had to get in and out before anyone even knew he was there.

he was careful as he moved silently through the bushes and shadows of the estate. he could vaguely remember a few old childhood antics that might work, like how his younger brother natsuo used to sneak out through the window to go see his friends.  

now came the harder part. sneaking through the house without drawing any attention to himself. he crept silently through the darkened rooms, the layout of the house still fresh in his memory. he could still hear the yelling from those long ago days. the anger, the beatings, the constant training. it all ran through his mind as he crept through the rooms he'd once called home.

it was suffocating.

as he thought of his past, his breath became labored and his hands began to tremble. he could still hear the screams of the past. it felt like the house was closing in on him. squeezing any breath out of him. he shut his eyes tightly, clenching his fists as he focused on making it to the bedroom. it was just a house, it couldn’t hurt him anymore. 

he kept repeating the mantra until he made it to the bedroom door. taking a last deep breath, he pushed open the door.

dabi stared at the painting. the tacky, golden leaves were just as he remembered them. his eyes flickered over them to the blank safe behind it. he had to laugh at that, shaking his head as he approached the safe. he already knew the combination, the same one endeavor used for everything. 

he turned the dial, his heartbeat thrumming in his chest. 01. 11. 75.

click!

he carefully pulled open the safe, his eyes immediately lighting up at the sight of all that cash. he’d never seen that much money in his life, and here it was, in his hands. he didn’t bother counting it, knowing it would be more than enough for the house. he began shoving it into his bags, his smile returning. this was almost too easy.

“–touya?

dabi whipped around, his blood running cold. he stared at his prodigy brother, mind going blank. h ow long had he been there? how much had he seen? how’d he even know to come? it didn’t matter, he’d get out of this.

he forced a smirk to his face, hiding the panic in his eyes. “well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” he drawled, his hands twitching at his sides.

“what the hell are you doing?”

dabi stared at shoto for another second, his mind racing. but finally, he decided to play it off. he grinned, raising his arms as if in surrender. “what does it look like?” he drawled, “i’m stealing some cash from the old man. for someone so smart, you’re awfully stupid.”

he shrugged, answering the questions he knew shoto had before he could even think to speak, “he’s got plenty of it, shoto. what’s some extra cash to him? he’s the number one hero, he can always get more.” he took a step closer to his brother, letting his eyes rake up his form. shoto hadn’t changed much, had he? he was still that same little boy he’d run away from years ago.

dabi grinned, leaning closer and patting shoto on the cheek. “come on, little shoto! you gonna tell on me?” he jeered, his eyes flickering to shoto’s scar. “you gonna go snitch on mommy and daddy for me?” he was riling him up on purpose, wanting a rise out of the little brat.

“i couldn't care less what you’re doing. its dad’s money, anyway. take all of it.” he frowned, smacking dabi’s hand away and taking a step back. “i dont care.”

dabi paused, his eyes widening. he hadn’t seen that coming. he’d thought shoto still idolized endeavor, but here he was, completely against him. dabi grinned widely, suddenly happy to have a comrade. 

“well that makes two of us,” he said with a chuckle. shoto really had changed in the years he’d been gone. he’d grown up, and not into the golden child their father had wanted.

shoto blinked once, turned on his heel, and left.

dabi chuckled watching him go. what a little brat. but it seemed he wasn’t going to stop him, so he turned back to the safe. he gathered the rest of the cash, stuffing it into his bags. his heart was beating wildly in his chest. 

now, he just had to get out.

dabi left the room swiftly, bags in hand. he crept softly down the hallway to the entrance of the house, sticking by the shadows as he went. 

he didn’t see shoto anywhere, so the brat must have gone somewhere else. good, less trouble for him. he approached the door silently, peering out of the windows. all clear.

dabi left the premises without any trouble. the guards were still focused on patrolling the front, not a single one had thought to check the back of the house. he slipped through the gate, leaving the estate far behind him. 

he allowed himself a moment to catch his breath, leaning on a nearby tree. he’d done it. he’d gotten everything he needed, and now he’d be able to buy that beautiful house for you.

ring ring.

dabi’s head jerked up as he heard his phone ring. who was calling him at a time like this? it was probably shigaraki, ready to whine at him for taking so long with the plan. 

he answered it quickly, bringing the phone to his ear. “this better be good, crusty,” he snapped.

“–love?”

dabi’s eyes softened instantly, and his heart leapt at the sound of your voice. “oh, hey doll,” he sighed, his voice suddenly soft. “what’s up?”

dabi paused for a moment, thinking. bakery, huh. “hmm, surprise me,” he finally said. “i bet you’ll pick something good.” he wasn’t really paying attention. his mind was elsewhere at the moment. namely, on his successful heist.

dabi grinned, his mind already on the sugary treat. “you know you love me,” he laughed, his heart racing at the thought of you. “now, can you get me one? please, sweetcheeks?”

“yeah, yeah, whatever. ill be back in ten, dont be dead by then.” click.

dabi had to hold himself back from jumping with joy like some sort of cartoon character. he had the money from endeavor. he’d escaped the estate without being caught. and you were on your way back with a treat. 

now all he had to do was get to the realtor and seal the deal.

dabi was still riding his high from the success of his heist, but he wasn’t stupid. he could easily get caught if he tried buying the house himself. someone had to do it for him. he was so obviously a villain. he had to get one of his more normal looking gus to do it. maybe giran? or toga?

he quickly dialled a number. if anyone could fake it as a civilian, it was her.

toga picked up on the first ring. “dabi!” she greeted cheerfully. “where have you been for the past two weeks? i’ve missed you…” she sang, a light giggle in her voice.

"stayin' at the hideout. could you do me a favour? " dabi spoke, opening the door to the hideout with one foot and shutting it behind him.

toga made a sound of disbelief, her voice turning a little teasing. “a favour? what could you, mr. big bad villain, possibly want from me, a young innocent girl?”

“fuck off. i need to buy me a house.”

toga gasped excitedly at his words. “a house?” she squealed, “like, a.. home? you want a home, just for the two of you? you and your little boyfriend”” a manic laugh left her lips. “wow! things are getting serious, huh? i can’t believe you’d trust a poor little girl like me with this. this is a very big favour. maybe i should just tell all the others how serious you’re getting, i’m sure they’d love that—”

“toga, shut the fuck up and get your ass over here.”

toga cut off her giggling and squealing, letting out a breathy sigh. “okie dookie. i’m on my way. gimme like ten minutes.” she hung up, leaving dabi to himself. he poured himself some whiskey from the many bottles of alcohol that lined the shelves, and waited.

he spent the next few minutes checking the news to make sure there was no word about endeavor’s money going missing. after a few minutes, toga finally arrived. she skipped over to him, her signature smile on her face.

"so!" toga sang, clasping her hands in front of her. "what's this about a house, hmm?" 

dabi rolled his eyes, giving her the most unamused look he could muster. he'd have to pay her back for the mocking later. "it's exactly what i said. i need you to buy a house for me and my love."

toga gasped excitedly, hopping on her feet as if she could explode. "oh my god , you're buying a home for the love of your life? dabi, you're getting so soft!" she cooed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "you're gonna settle down! what's next, a minivan and two point five kids?"

dabi gritted his teeth, his patience wearing thin. "just shut up and listen, dammit. i just need you to do the simple task of buying a house for me. i'm the one paying for it to begin with, it's just that i can't go do it myself."

toga pouted at his harsh tone, but reluctantly agreed. "fine, fine. but you're so lucky to have little old me as your personal shopper! what do you want? a cute little suburban home? a cozy cottage in the woods? ooh, maybe a castle or something!"

“we already found a house. just– just go pay for it. go steal someones blood and do whatever it is you do.”

toga snatched the information from his hand, giggling as she glanced over the description. “ooh, so domestic,” she teased, “and in a good area, too! you’re getting really serious about these house-buying shenanigans. does you secret partner know just how much of a romantic you’re becoming?”

“toga himiko if you do not get out of this place right now and buy that house i will fucking turn you into ashes.”

toga’s smile widened, “aww, is someone mad?” she grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. she had been enjoying riling up dabi a little too much in the last few minutes. he was just so cute when he was annoyed with her.

but she decided to have mercy on him. for now, at least. she saluted him mockingly. “well then, i’m off to go fulfil my duties as your personal shopper! i’ll have you living in your dream cottage by the end of the night!”

as soon as toga left, you walked in, glowing as always. dabi doesnt think he’ll ever get used to how good you look.

dabi's irritation melted away instantly as he saw you enter. it was as if your presence was an immediate cure for all his stress. when you were around, nothing else seemed to matter.

he gave you a crooked grin as he stood to greet you, his eyes softening. "there you are, doll," he purred, pulling you into his arms.

you could feel the tension leaving your body the moment he pressed you against his chest, his warmth instantly soothing you. you wrapped your arms around his neck, breathing him in. "hey, you," you greeted softly, burying your face against his shoulder. “i brought your cupcake.”

dabi's heart fluttered at the pet name, and a smile spread across his face. he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, pressing feather-light kisses along your skin. "you're perfect, baby," he purred, his voice low and gentle.

as he pulled back, his eyes landed on the little pink treat in your hands, and he grinned. "oh, you really are perfect," he laughed, taking it from you. immediately, he took a big bite.

he hummed in contentment as he chewed, the sweetness melting in his mouth. he hadn't planned on getting all domestic with you, but now he couldn't imagine anything more perfect. to have a home of his own with you, to come back to you every day and see your smiling face, it was a dream he never thought he'd get to have.

he described the house to you excitedly, his eyes lighting up with passion as he described the features. he told you about the cozy kitchen where he could prepare meals for you, the comfy living room where the two of you could curl up together on the couch, and the big bedroom that was just begging to be spent in.

he talked and talked, envisioning the domestic life the two of you were about to start.

"and now it's ours," he said proudly, a smile spreading across his face. "we have our own home, doll. our place. think about it! we'll get to wake up together every day, we'll have our own space to hang up our favorite pictures, we'll have a real kitchen where we can cook together."

he looked at you with a fond smile, his eyes tender. "it's like a dream, isn't it, doll? our own little slice of paradise, just for the two of us."

“you– you bought it already?”

dabi chuckled, giving you a firm squeeze. "not yet," he admitted, "i need toga to do that for me. but once she does, we'll be living there in no time. we're really doing this."

he spun you around to face him, pulling you as close as possible. "this is really happening, doll," he whispered, his voice filled with excitement and hope. "we're gonna have that normal life together that we always talked about."

you wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. god, you couldn't believe it. this was all so surreal. you never thought you would be able to have a normal life with him, and yet here you were. 

your heart fluttered at his words, and a smile broke out across your face. "yes, we are," you whispered back, pulling him down for a kiss. the future suddenly seemed so much brighter, and the two of you finally had something to look forward to.

#⊹ ࣪ ˖ greywrites #⊹ ࣪ ˖ abiditory #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #dabi #mha dabi #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #dabihawks #touya todoroki #todoroki touya #dabi todoroki #bnha x reader #mha x reader

[demontruth]

Prison Time for Trump is needed and this Why...

Y'all, I just did the math (if I did it correctly), I just realized something Trump could get 136 years in prison!! Because each of 34 counts comes with a maximum of 4 years if the Judge decided that Trump should do them separatly boom 134 years! Which fingers crossed. I know that highly unlikely but still the thought makes me so incredibly happy!! However I do think the Judge should give 'No Longer Teflon Don' some prison time.

Here's my thoughts on that. Because no matter the amount of time it's gonna fuck with Trump's head psychologically, as I see it. He's gonna be put in handcuffs taken out of the court room, hopefully. Put on a prison bus, once again hopefully. He's gonna be taken to a prison, maybe it be white collar or please let be federal prison. They're still gonna take all this clothes from him and anything that he has like his expensive ass watch and everything else he has on his person. Then they're going to strip searching him, which I feel extremely bad for whatever prison guard that may end up having do that. Give that man bonus, no joke. That's gonna have to do that. But still just that experience is going to be humiliating and demoralizing which I'm sorry he deserves in my opinion. Maybe but doubtful it will teach him some humility. Then they're going to make him get into whatever color jumpsuit, may it be orange, oh please Jesus let it be orange! Then those he going have to put on those lovely prison shoes. Then they're gonna take his ass to a cell where he's gonna have a celly no doubt. Hopefully its someone that fucking dislike him strongly and not one of his MAGA asshole. And then they're going to close the cell door. That sound alone I would imagine would have a profound effect on him mentally. Because he's the arrogant, a narcissist, egotistical, sociopathic. In that prison he's just like everybody else. He's can't stand up there thinking he's the big man having all his loyal MAGA cult followers screaming and cheeringfor him. That's going to mess with him like nothing else. And put him on a level with what he considers common people is going to mess with him in a way that nothing else ever could. Because he won't get special treatment, the prison guards aren'tgoing to treat him better then the other prisoners shit they might treat him worse if he acts up. Ithink it's so important that it happens to this motherfucker. It's time he brought down to the level he deserves. The level he's been running from forever. Because has anyone seen him now? I have no by choice, just watching the news and of course he's all over the news. He looks so defeated, pathetic, sad, old, beaten, tried, as he would say zero energy. As evil as this may sound and I really don't care... I fucking love it!! Give more of it!!

Now we just HAVE TO DEFEAT him in the Presidential election!! Biden may not be what we want either but it better then a man that's going be hell bent on revenge on everyone that disagrees with him, but on trial, who still want to but him on trial. Remember he still has at least 2 more trials coming and if gets back in the White House he'll do everything in his power to squash them. He'll go after the FBI, the DOJ and every other agency that investigated him. He will literally go on a witch hunt! Don't be mistaken and don't be stupid enough to believe he will not go full Dictator if he gets back into the white house. Trump likes/loves power far too much either far actual prison time with more criminal trials down the road he'll use that power to make sure that don't happen. See the whole I want to President again is just a Red Herring, to distract everyone from his criminal trials and a way to make them go away.

Once again I'm saying something I've been saying since before Trump became President the first time omg I'm tried. But anyway. Trump doesn't give a flying monkey shit about anyone but himself! Not the us the American people, not our Foreign policy, not climate crisis, not gun control, not education... nothing!! The only reason his sides with the Conservatives is because they kiss his ass. I completely understand why us on the left will not. But it does put us in the position of Trump not doing that we need him to do. So as much as I hate this we should pick somebody on the left that would be willing to kiss his ass so hopefully he would start doing what we want him to do. And you have no idea how much that pains me to actually write that!

But we on the left need to start fighting like we did in the last Presidential election! Grass root efforts, hitting the streets, online, fucking everywhere, especially with swing voters! We have get Biden re-elected no matter what because this another election of our life times that will matter in more then just 4 year from now!!

#donald trump #trump #trump prison time #136 years #fingers crossed #if only #please Jesus #why Trump needs to go prison for some time #my thoughts #maga read this #maga #hey stupid MAGA #us politics #Republicans #Democrats #the left #the right #conservatives #liberals #every voter on Tumblr #us presidential election #trump vs biden #prison time from trump is needed

[lavaablast]

My headcanons pt1 (because i self project on everything)

(my opinion remember this is all silly fun) (also i change my mind contantly so expect me to edit this post constantly)

Kai Smith:

the band aid on his eyebrow is there because he has an eyebrow piercing, and he wants to protect it from getting ripped in battle (also doesnt want a scolding from Wu hehe)

self harms but instead of c///ing he burns because well, obvious reasons (less likely to be found out too)

orthorexic, is obsessed with being in peak physical form

body dysmorphia. knows he looks good but doesnt know what he looks like

"if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive" or wtv mitski said

has an extensive skincare routine but if anyone asks him he'll just say he "washes his face with cold water"

anger issues, but like he can explode on the ninja too and then he immediately regrets it but its too late which leaves him with... ->

guilt. ALL THE TIME. its in the back of his head wherever he goes

sun aries, moon sagittarius. i wont back down on this (im a sun aries and moon sag)

claims he "doesnt care" but actually cares so much it hurts (especially about Nya/Lloyd he'd do anything for them you hear me ANYTHING)

has strong morals and ideals but will give them up in a second when needed for survival of himself or the ninja (people often see this as a bad thing but he just wants everyone to live no matter the cost)

ironically, can't handle spicy food and is ALWAYS made fun of it by the others

is reckless and takes stupid risks because he does not care for his body whatsoever (the others think he doesnt know whats at stake, he does, but doesnt care when it's just his own saftey he's risking)

lowkey a perfectionist, but has a different idea of perfect than others so they wouldnt know (aka he needs things/himself/stuff he makes to be perfect, but not perfect objectively, perfect to what he thinks is right)

loves his parents because they tried their best, but still resents them. he hates that he does, but he does

cried all of his tears out ONCE after Nyas "death" and didnt cry at all after that, instead taking so much on his plate that he didnt get a single chance to think about it again (it'd be too painul, this was easier) which lead to....->

his grief being put on hold; and only when Nya already was back did it come out and he had no idea why he was feeling this way so he didnt tell anyone (what would he have said, im in agony for no reason at all?) and it was HELL to do it alone

tied to the above; he couldn't ask for help if his life depended on it (literally)

loves too hard

hates too hard

BPD coded (i dont wanna diagnose him but,,, im justsayinnn *whistles while walking away suspiciously*)

trust issues, but lowk all the ninja have them because like,,, just look at what they have to deal w bro

commitment issues because freedom is the most important thing in the world (after Nya/Lloyd) so settling down or commiting to one thing too long feels like threatining his freedom

actually smart (both emotinally and intelligently) but doesnt use his brains capabilities that much

great memory but also shit memory (remembers a whole row of numbers for no reason but forgets he has to pick up lloyd from the arcade..)

hot. thats all i rest my case

loves himself but hates himself

everything and nothing at the same time, everything about him contradicts himself, but also doesnt, but also does

hes a really simple person, really. but also the most complex one youll ever meet.

hates labels, especially being labeled by others (for the reasons above)

likes men but hates labels so,, no labels (not even the label "unlabeled")

infact he has a deep hatred for the label 'unlabeled' because if something is unlabeled, then why are you LABELING IT

red. everything is red redredred RED he loves red

has sibling bracelets with nya and lloyd (kai has green & dark blue, lloyd red & dark blue, nya red and green)

everything has to be red except the things that are black and orange. i rest my case once again

drinks just a bit too much for it to be considered concerning (started at 14)

will yell and scream at anyone who tries to help him (why do they think he needs help? why are they babying him? why cant the see he is capable?)

wouldnt let nya touch a bottle until she was 18 (be thankful nya its for the best)

paints his nails black or red.

has a strand of hair dyed red all the time

perfect teeth even tho he often forgets to brush them (how? fuck do i know)

would be a hyena i he was an animal

hates smartphones so he has a.. push-button phone?? whatever they're called. and he also only has the nokia brand. wont change it for a thing

"hates technology" but couldnt live without video games

loves to try new things but will have a breakdown if he HAS to try new things

stubborn asf, wont ever do anything he doesnt want to, which...->

makes people think he's selfish, but actually he's quite the opposite

selfless in an unconventional way, i'll make a drawing explaining it

please understand what i mean with that chart because it explains it so well in my brain

thats it for now cfdsfdr

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago kai #kai smith #lavashipping #ninjago hcs #kai hcs

[woklaza]

Dazai Osamu, the ordinary man

I'm growing tired of people saying Dazai is an evil manipulator abuser mafia loner-

Need I carry on?

Okay. I agree. He may be (or have been) a manipulator, an abuser, a mafia executive that killed- but evil?

Hear me out.

In a world where people are no longer judged based on their moral values such as personalities and thoughts, but rather on economic value or ability to achieve, isolation became a problem.

Isolation- separating yourself from others and yourself. Because in a world where what makes a person different from another becomes ignored, we tend to try to fit in, keep to our roles, and not question. Isolating from what we hold dear because there is no value in it.

Here's where the Port Mafia comes into place.

I'm giving you a situation. If you live in a society where what you love no longer valued, and everything that matters simply doesn't anymore, what would you do? What would you do in a place where social roles that give you a sense of belonging are scarce?

You would want a sense of belonging, because never having to experience what being a part of something is, you want to find out.

I suppose we can say the same about Dazai. Always wanting to find a point in living, knowing he'll never find it, but still living on because, it's stupid. That's his destructive personality. Living on because he doesn't see the point in it. (am I making sense rn?) (no) (but bear with me)

The Port Mafia would have been a fertile place for Dazai to 'figure out' what the point of living is. And it's also quite addicting as well. It would feel awesome to be a part of something you know you never thought of as morally correct, just being a part of it because it all felt like a joke. And the joke snowballs and gets out of hand. Dazai no longer cared about 'finding a will to live' Maybe he does, but something else grew inside of him.

He felt something. He felt that the Port Mafia was carving into his mind. He's a part of the cruel, evil mafia he will never escape. Not even if he became good. He accepts it. So he becomes a part of it. He decides to work for the Port Mafia.

And as he works for the Port Mafia, he loses who he was again, ironic, considering the reason he joined the Port Mafia was to find a will to live, or at least, find himself. He lost who he was in order to become a clockwork of an evil organisation.

Even if it meant being a tool of murder.

And all while being an ordinary man. An ordinary man living in a society where people are judged on their ability to achieve.

And the ordinariness is exactly what makes him terrifying. Because he could also be a cheery person with no worries, having a wonderful life.

Tag: glitch-ink3

#bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd fanfic #bsd analysis #character analysis #clyde waffles on #this doesnt make sense ik #i cant express what im thinking so i hope the message is coming across #crazy ahh shit

[evolutionsvoid]

I think a thing that needs to be said about ecosystems is that no matter how pretty they are, they are still the wilds. I know this sounds painfully obvious, but I feel like it is something that is still widely ignored. When it comes to dark jungles or eerie bogs, sure, people worry about dangerous monsters and hidden perils. But if it were some picturesque mesa or lush meadow, where the scenery is absolutely captivating, I feel people kind of get lost in the majesty of it all. They think themselves in some magical land, or a painting come to life! They cease to be aware of the fact that they are still in the wilds, and that the same rules apply. People will stand there dumbfounded, or blindly walk across dangerous terrain, or just ignore the fact that wild animals are afoot. Why do I bring this up? Because some of you people are way too casual about coastal areas! Particularly the places one would call "beaches!" You see a sunny sandy beach next to a gentle ocean and just throw all cares away! Start acting like you're on a resort, where there are fancy drinks and hunky lifeguards a plenty! Riptide? What's that? Say, what are these colorful birds with the weird club arms? How pretty! It never ceases to baffle me how quickly one's guard drops the second they see a nice stretch of beach far from civilization. Just rip off all your clothes and throw yourself into the waters without a second thought! One good thought to have would be "hey, does anything live there?!" That might be good to figure out before you dive headfirst into the water, or throw a towel down onto the sand, or just start grabbing random shells with your bare hands are you serious!? Sorry if I am getting a little ranty here, but oh how it drives me mad! Not only are you spoiling a good spot to do some wildlife watching, but you are also throwing yourself blindly into danger!

I bring this all up because it was meant to be a short little lead in to the species I wanted to talk about, but look where that got us. What I was meaning to do was say that I have seen this behavior all over the world, the sheer stupidity that befalls people when they see a sunny beach. And while in most cases things end up being just fine, there are a few times where fools wind up getting bitten. Literally. In one region, there is a telltale sign of when someone succumbs to this spell. When they come stumbling back into town with a nasty bloody bite on an arm or leg, you know full well someone tried to have a beach day on Nure-onna territory.

The Nure-onna are a species of reptile that is found out on the coast in subtropical regions. I know sharp eyed readers may note my vague description of calling it "a reptile." Why do I say that? Shouldn't I just say it is a snake? I mean, just look at it! Well, the reason why I chose "reptile" is because we aren't fully sure yet what the Nure-onna is, be it snake or lizard. Yes, it has a long serpentine body that it slithers with, but there are species of legless lizards out there. Sure, it has very small forearms, which would rule out snakes, but does it really? And then some people cite the prominent fangs as a snake feature, while others point out the strong muscly jaws as something more lizard-like. I find it hard to say, because I get swayed back and forth whenever people start piling on arguments, but currently I feel the Nure-onna is some kind of primitive snake. Perhaps a relic of when ancient snakes started losing their limbs, but the Nure-onna hung onto theirs.

Regardless if it be a legless lizard or a faintly legged snake, the Nure-onna is a reptilian creature with a greatly elongated body, bright splotchy patterns and a pretty distinct look. Their serpentine bodies have bright red patches of color over top white scales, making them pretty eye-catching! They possess tiny, nearly atrophied forearms, which still have claws, but they do very little. At times, they can help give traction over smooth stone, and some say that males use them during mating to better grip the females. Going to the head is where things get more interesting, as they possess very strong, brutish jaws, and a surprising shock of hair! In truth, this black mane of "hair" is actually made up of long, thin scales, which cascade off the body and bunch up together to create this illusion. Some folk compare them to very crude feathers, as if the Nure-onna tried to make feathers but gave up nearly instantly into the process. So what is the reason for having this odd collection of scales? Well, it appears that it helps them soak up the heat of the sun more, on days where simple basking isn't enough. They can be seen curled up beneath this mane during colder days, helping trap in what little heat they have, while also using the black scales to better absorb sunlight. Some also think this curling up helps disguise them from prey and predators, hiding in the shadow of rocks with this tactic. It should be pointed out that this hair is also useful for creating the illusion that makes them so infamous. Because Nure-onna have a particular shape to their heads, and curious markings too! Add in this hair, and their threatening pose of holding their upper bodies high, and the snake (or lizard) suddenly becomes a human woman!

Okay, well, not entirely a human woman, but you can see where the mistake can be made at a glance. Scary stories like to say that this is meant to lure in human prey, or disarm them with their seductive feminine appearance, but in truth, it seems more like a coincidence. People seeing similarities in certain patterns. One of the reasons I say this is because these facial markings vary slightly between individuals, and greatly between regional species. Some have patterns that are strikingly human, while others look like they were trying to apply makeup during an earthquake. So this variation suggests that this is not a particularly important appearance that they must uphold exactly. Nature doesn't seem to think it is worth anything, but that doesn't mean there wasn't some kind of selection to be had here! Some theories claim that locals long ago selectively bred certain populations to get that distinct face look to their patterns. Certain nobles and warlords liked having these human mimicking serpents around, and kept them as pets. To be clear, there was no domestication to be had here, more so having a serpent that looks like it has a face but also one that is down for taking a chunk out of intruders and people you don't like.

With a toothy maw like that, the Nure-onna is obviously a predator. They scour the beaches for prey, hunting the sands, shallows and rocky areas. They use their long bodies to slip into tight spaces and burrows, while also using quick bursts of speed to chase down prey. Their strong jaws are good for grabbing on and never letting go. They are also pretty decent at cracking open shells of crabs and other coastal invertebrates, and if their teeth don't do the trick, bashing them against rocks also helps. Nure-onna use the tactic of "bite down hard and don't let go til it stops moving." They coil around prey and chomp down, waiting to the fight drains out of their meal. If prey is larger or more feisty, they may twist and thrash their bodies around while latched on to do some real damage and maybe tear off a chunk of meat. If they can't down their food, at least they get a free mouthful!

While their typical menu is usually crustaceans, fish, small reptiles and the occasional washed up carcass, Nure-onna are known for attacking larger things. More so, they are known for being very aggressive and territorial. They are an ill-tempered lot, always perceiving others around them as potential threats or competition. While other critters may flee at the sight of a human, the Nure-onna would stand its ground til they got too close, and then the fight is on. Their way of dealing with predators is to essentially be so aggressive and bitey that they give up and find something that doesn't fight so much. Due to this nature of theirs, Nure-onna territory is marked and avoided, as people trespassing on a day the Nure-onna are out and about results in getting chased down and bitten. Obviously, not everyone listens to these warnings. They will see an isolated beach with no one else around and think they found paradise, only to find serpents pouring from the rocks and racing across the sand with teeth bared. This aggression results in the Nure-onna being labeled a "maneater," with the belief that they happily hunt and consume humans. But it actually is more that they chomp onto oblivious tourists and then consume the corpse if they succumb to the squeezing and biting. They don't specifically target people, but they won't say no to a human carcass after they have bitten their throat out.

Though Nure-onna are feared and avoided due to their strong bite and anger issues, people do hunt them from time to time. Typically, if someone wants to settle upon a coastal stretch of land, the Nure-onna are going to have to go, as you can't make a beach town with these things around. And even for villages that are already established, lone Nure-onna may travel here and try to setup shop, which thus leads to culling. Their meat is said to be quite good (though very bony) and their hides and hairs enjoyed in fashion and ceremonial garb. As mentioned before, some folk a long time ago tried keeping Nure-onna as pets, or more so punishment for others. They weren't exactly lap dogs, more so creatures that knew who fed them and who didn't have food. You would keep them in pools or moats, and let them chew on intruders who tried to sneak in. Thus, this is why it is believed these face patterns appeared, as owners selectively bred them before the trend was given up on and they were released into the wilds. In stories, people like to play up the feminine appearance of Nure-onna, pretending that they can perfectly mimic woman. They also like to use this species as minions for evil-doers and sorcerers, who unleash these faced serpents upon foes. One story claims a sorcerer used some Nure-onna to kill and rob people who walked the beach. He would cast a curse on a pretty looking stone and then leave it in the sand, so someone would see it and pick it up. Once touched, the cursed rock would bind them to the spot, weighing down on them as if it was a boulder. The serpents would emerge from their hiding place and devour the poor soul, and the evil fellow would gather what coin and jewels were left on the shredded carcass. Neat tactic, though a bit convoluted for simple banditry. I guess points for creativity?

Though the attempts at keeping Nure-onna as pets has fallen away for humans, I will say another species has formed a bond with these savage serpents, seeing that they indeed make good guards! But that is a story for another entry!

Chlora Myron

Dryad Natural Historian

--------------------------

"Nure-onna"

May of went too face-like for this thing, but ah well.

#snake #serpent #nure-onna #monster #creature #art #drawing

[quietblissxx]

.

#I'm sorry I just feel like I'm losing my mind #like am i over reacting? #did i just over estimate the impact i had on people's lives? #like yeah i know i quit but i worked there for a decade!!! #and the initial hello was always great but then everyone drifted away and i as at a table alone??? #i just feel stupid for feeling like i mattered to people #Ugh Ugh Ugh #my brain is always like lol hey no one gives a shit about you and uh i feel like tonight kinda confirmed it #personal #i mean many of my closest friends have quit or are on leaves right now so i was expecting it be somewhat awkward #but like. i miss feeling connected #in ever single aspect of my life i miss feeling connected #and now it's Sunday fucking night and i have to do another work week and i just feel so empty

[canisalbus]

I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

.

#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ” #I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now” #“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me” #people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

[ganondoodle]

even if i didnt love botw as much as i do, totk drives me nuts bc, similarly to pokemon, this series is so SO SO full of potential, they have so many games they can pull from, theres so many themes, characters and worldbuilding thats just left to rot, you dont need to connect anything with a chain to old titles, you dont need to bring back any things that already had their ending, but PLEASE harness at least a fraction of all this!!!! and they just refuse to do it beyond shallow references

totk jsut drives it all home to me, bc this isnt just the next game in the franchise, but a DIRECT SEQUEL no 10 years apart from botw, yet they cant even, they REFUSE to even keep the continuity with its OWN lore it established in botw together, and that, i think, is what truly makes me so insane (derogatory) about totk

it PROVES they do not care, they dont care to build on anything of the lore of old titles beyond references in form of amiibos or whatever, they dont even care to make a sequel to their most successful game in the franchise coherent with its own lore

botw established a captivating detailed world full of potential, while lacking in active storytelling, it had environmental storytelling, characters and ideas that were the perfect ground to build on-

and then they do away with it bc idk .. they want you to build mechs and make videos of it that go viral and thats all they care about or something

shiekah tech? forget that existed character being the character you know? act as if you are seeing them for the first time just like they are lame story? dont think about that just be distracted by the epic presentation of it lore the previous title established? forget that, all that matters is what is here and now beloved character from old games beign brought back? hes a new guy and has no background and no lore and just sits waiting for you at the end to have a flashy fight with references from old titles and their lore? just here for nostalgie bait, dont you remember? you LOVE this series, now give me 70 bucks for a glorified DLC that ruins what you loved about the series and makes you realize that nothign matters and nothing is interesting anymore

you are supposed to take it all at face value, to not think about anything, to see a character say something and just go with it, and forget it the second its over, be distracted by good music and pretty visuals, but dont think about, dont think about anything but what is directly said to you like you have no critical thinking skills, forget there was a game before this one, only the one you play matters, empty your skull and dont let yourself feel anything but what the game tells you to feel

if they dont even care to make the sequel to their most successful game actually build on the previous title, dont even care to keep their continuity of two games supposedly directly happening one after the other in tact- maybe they never cared, and all the meaning we thought we saw them build into their games was all accidental and meaningless

and that is absolutely soul crushing for fans like me to discover

its a game. its not a story, its not a world, its not themes, its not characters, its not lore. its a product made to make you pay money, not to make you think about anything.

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #i know it sounds silly to say this game makes me mad bc its so clearly a game #but do you get what i mean?? #and the worst part is #they dont even keep the lore said in the SAME GAME in line #the people in hateno where links HOUSE used to be that is now ZELDAS not remembering him #the children acting like they dont know him #where has link been? #did zelda put him into the forest and just let him live with the boars? #even so the house is here so link must have been here to buy it- #but no forget that #its somethign that happened in botw and that never actually happened or mattered remember? #to have balloons and rocktes and people with WINGS in this world but none of them going up to the sky islands everyone is obsessed about`? #well its for YOU to play around with with meaningless rewards not for the NPCs living in this world #the godly goat guy and the hylian priestress directly saying zelda is their distant descendant to her and then #not show nor say not even hint at them having any offspring and then both die a stupid meaningless death to try and make you feel something #“doing the dragon transformation robs you of your soul forever and you will never return” #*returns via deus ex machina without even letting the player take any part in it but by -getting to the end tm-* #also i HATE how totk constantly dangles set ups in front of you #only to NOT follow up on them #the intro giving you a taste of what you might expect for- NOPE zelda is gone immediately its jsut botw but worse again lol #zelda getting the hang of her time powers so she might return to her time on her ow- NOPE dragon lol her powers are irrelevant actually #impa being the only one you can tell about zelda being a dragon and her going oh no im gonna search for a way to bring her back- LOL NOPE #its solves itself and you dont even do anything for it and just watch a cutscene #oh no link lost his arm and its beyond repair- LOL NOPE have your arm back like it was freshly made no matter how few of the light things- #you actually got- the things that where supposedly to battle back the thing destroying your arm #also howt he game gives you endless busy work without any good reward #krogs - mayoi signa - poes - scematics - lightroots - sign guy

[priceofreedom]

funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...

#it's honestly very surprising. i see hate towards him almost every day since Remake came out and i wish i was kidding #and yeah yeah i know other characters get lots of hate too but the hate towards him has been so sudden and random??? #idk maybe he *was* hated before but i just didn't notice #but at the same time no. i'm 100% sure the hate increased considerably after he was shown to be alive in the Remake #i feel like some people are just weirdly concerned he is gonna overshadow the main characters which is stupid #this story is still about Cloud and the others #we're just gonna explore another reality (allegedly) with Zack it's not that deep bro #(rebirth spoilers) -> even in Zack's timeline Cloud AND Aerith are there #and who knows how many more #like i get shippers being petty because when are they not petty #but i've seen non-shippers/casual players saying they do not want to see more of him and being all bitter bc he's important #he's always been important you all just refuse to acknowledge it!!! #no matter how many times hamaguchi nomura nojima etc say he's super important ppl just keep denying it 💀 #as if y'all know more than the freaking devs i'm getting tired of this bs #my post #i'm glad the devs love him as much as we do. cry about it

[nullbutler]

something something identity something something culture

#jumblr #jewblr #i dunno if this is the kind of thing that really belongs on my silly blog but ive been wanting to draw it for two days #this is just about feeling connection to culture #and i dunno i know the whole 'is judaism considered a race' thing is iffy as all hell #because it IS an ethnic group and i see it in basically every bloodline person ive met #there is a familiar look #our grandparents and babies look the exact same #of course converts are lovely and welcome and i'm not gatekeeping #but so long of just being like 'who am i? ah. i am nobody #i am a white girl from california who knows nothing of nothing' is a drastic understatement #i've dealt with anti semitism since i was a child #it has been everywhere #not many people understand it because its just...well we dont look that different (to the people who matter) (bad people can tell right awa #the immeasurable trauma of the holocaust and the weight of our grandparents and everything else is just so crushing...AND we look caucasian #is there no fate worse??? lmao #not saying i'm not caucasian of course i think two things can be true at once #but i think meeting someone and realizing we have the same face and with it faced the same hardship is really really meaningful #because to just say i'm some 'stupid white girl from california' is a butchering undercut of everything i actually am

[mamawasatesttube]

i wish it wasn't so normal for people to complain about unfinished wips or fics that take a long time to update. because sometimes i think i have a really fun idea for a fic but it'd take a while for me to write, and i like talking about my work as i do it and i don't like writing entire fics over like 20k without sharing, because i lose steam. so if i were to write and post that cool fic idea, it'd be as a wip. and then i think about all the people who just refuse to engage with wips, or all the other people who would just go "update pls" all the time, and of how people only really comment in the first 24 hours something is posted and then it's lost to obscurity, and then i just go "actually whats the point in going through the effort writing this out? i'll just daydream about it now and then and be done with it." and then i don't write it. alas!

#rimi talks #shoutout to that one person who followed me from resi fandom and commented on one of my dc fics like ''pls update that resi fic'' #also shoutout to all those tumblr posts about how theres nOthInG wOrSe than finding a GoOd FiC but its uNFiNIsHeD #i used to really like writing longfic but these days i kind of shy away from it bc it rly does get discouraging #like they say ''write for yourself'' and i do but i certainly dont share just for my own satisfaction yk??? #anyways. i already have space fic and theres no need for me to start another fic. even if it would be fun. #ive also just been in a Mood about writing since yesterday and thats not helping matters 😔 #but it feels like a stupid thing to be in A Mood about. idk. whatever jdlksk hopefully itll pass and ill be normal tomorrow :/ #bc talking to duck earlier today we came up with a really fun mermay fic premise. but. writing? me? multichap again? lol. lmao even #like i would love to!!!!!! having two ongoing multichaps wouldnt kill me i like to pingpong between wips #but dealing with people whining about update times or telling me they refuse to read bc its a wip...... dunno if i can do that again fellas #okay. enough woes and whining. i guess i will go play a video game