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beautification-tales · 3 days

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The Caregiver

An Outbreak story

Sandra was concerned about her stepson Jim. She is certain he has the virus. The symptoms had been there for three days now: Complete physical changes along with mental ones. Jim seemed more aggressive lately and more irritable. She was so tempted to call the authorities but was scared of what experiments they would do to her sweet boy.

“You can’t keep me cooped inside forever Sandra!” Jim growled. He paced back and forth, his eyes burning with anger. Sandra stood her ground, her expression calm but firm. “Jim, baby you’re sick! If people find out you have the virus.. they’ll put you in a research facility. You know that right?” She took a step closer, reaching out to touch his arm. But he flinched away, his fists clenched at his sides.

He looked at his stepmother as some clarity returned to his mind. He unclenched his fists and sighed. “I’m sorry mom. It’s so hard to think lately… All I want to do is…” Jim looked at his mother with compassion but with a hunger she never saw before. “What is it baby?” she asked softly, taking another step closer. Jim stepped back fighting the natural urges the virus had brought forth. “It’s nothing mom… I just need to be alone.”

Jim walked swiftly and ran up the stairs. Sandra heard her stepson’s door close behind him. Santa looked over at their family portrait in the middle of the living room. “Oh Jack! How am I going to protect him?” Sandra was scared as her sweet nerdy stepson had returned a different man. Sandra had always been afraid of losing Jim ever since Jack passed away. Now the fear was exacerbated by his current… ailment.

Sandra placed her hand on her heart as she felt it beating fast. It was from fear but it was also from her stepson’s presence. She looked at the picture of Jack and how strong and handsome he was. Jim looked so much like him now and it was affecting her.

Sandra turned on the television as the news was still talking about the outbreak. The anchor was discussing the news with their health correspondent. “Yes it has spread throughout Asia and it is confirmed to have hit Australia.” The correspondent said with a grave expression. Sandra felt a chill run down her spine. She could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on her shoulders. “And what about the flight that landed in LAX? The one with the two ehhh affected flight attendants?” The anchor asked cautiously. Sandra knew that flight well. It was the one that Jim had taken to come from a school trip just 4 days ago. “Well it seems to have transformed them into blonde…. And I’m sorry to say… bimbos. They have insatiable libidos and irresistible pheromones. The good news is the strain they have is not airborne and only transferred by fluids. They seemed to have only transferred the virus to the two pilots of the plane.” The correspondent explained. “Thank you Dr. Mullin. We remind our viewers if you notice any physical or mental changes in any of your friends or family please isolate them and call the proper authorities. When we come back more ‘outbreak’ coverage.” The anchor said as the screen cut to a commercial break.

Sandra turned off the television and sighed. She rubbed her temples as she slowly walked up the stairs. She decided to check on her stepson. The sound of grunts and slapping came from his room. Sandra shook her head knowing the sound of her son masturbating. Sandra turned to walk to her room but stopped when she heard Jim scream “mom!” Sandra rushed quickly to her son’s call. She opened the door to find her son still pleasing his engorged cock. Sandra gasped as she realized the extent of Jim’s transformation.

Jim’s body was covered in shapely muscle as his abs flexed as his hips gyrated into his hand. The room’s scent was strong as it was filled with the smell of sweat and cum. Sandra inhaled deeply and felt herself become wet with desire. Sandra looked higher and saw that Jim had a pair of her pantyhose covering his eyes and nose. “Ung mom, yes suck my cock like that.” Jim panted as Sandra felt herself walking closer to her son.

She found herself at the foot of the bed as she licked her lips. The temptation to touch her own stepson was great. “Yes, you’re gonna make me cum!” Jim’s cock erupted as streams of cum landed everywhere. Sandra quickly exited as her son uncovered his face and cleaned himself off.

Sandra rushed into her room and closed her door. She could feel her heart racing as the images were fresh in her mind. Jim’s toned body covered in sweat as he called for her. Jim holding her pantyhose to his face. He must have imagined herself sitting on him. He was so large and he came so much. “No! Stop it!” Sandra said out loud hoping to silence her naughty thoughts.

Sandra knew that Jim wasn’t her own but she practically raised him. Jack found her as a lonely young woman longing for a family. She remembered fondly the first time Jack introduced Jim to her as a young boy ten years old all that time ago. He hugged her tightly as she felt her eyes fill with tears. Sandra knew then she had found her family and she would never let anyone take it from her.

“I have to call the authorities…. For Jim’s sake.” Sandra muttered to herself as she prepared to take a shower. She reached down to undo her jeans. She gasped as felt a wet spot on her pocket. “Oh my God… is that his cum?” Sandra felt awkward as the substance covered her fingers. She played with it a bit as it felt very sticky. She smelled it as her whole body reacted. Sandra’s eyes rolled back as she felt goosebumps and her nipples hardened. She began licking her fingers as it tasted like sweet honey in her mouth. She began sucking her fingers until she realized what she was doing. She undressed and showered with cold water before hitting the bed.

“I know you want me to Sandra.” Jim said at the foot of her bed. Sandra jumped up as she saw Jim naked stroking his hard manhood. “Jim you know I hate it when you call me… Jim stop that!” Jim laughed as he walked closer to her. His body glistening with sweat, his muscles bulging under his tight skin. He smelled intoxicating, a mixture of sex and desire. She wanted to resist but couldn't find the strength. “C’mon mom you promised to take care of me when dad died. Let’s take care of each other.” Jim said as he climbed on the bed and straddled her. His thick cock pointed at her lips. Sandra felt her heart race as she opened her mouth and took him in. Jim moaned loudly as she began to suck him off. His sweet taste filled her mouth and she couldn't help but swallow.

Sandra awoke from her dream drenched in sweat as she tried to catch her breath. Her body ached as she was tempted to touch herself. She stopped herself as in a trance she got up and disrobed her pajamas. She put on her black lace bra and panties and her thigh high stockings. An outfit she hadn’t worn since Jack’s passing and walked to Jim’s bedroom.

Sandra opened the door and found Jim tossing and turning in bed. He was naked, his muscular body covered in sweat. The sheets were tangled around his legs, and he was moaning softly in his sleep. Her heart raced as she took a step closer to the bed. She reached out and gently ran her hand through his sweaty hair, causing him to stir slightly. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, her lips lingering there for a moment before pulling back.

"Jimmy?" she whispered, her voice trembling slightly. He didn't respond, still lost in his dreams. Sandra climbed onto the bed, straddling his hips, and laid her head on his chest. His heartbeat thundered in her ears, matching her own racing pulse. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, and the scent of his skin filled her nostrils. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly, feeling the warmth of his skin against her own.

She let her fingers wander, tracing the lines of his abs, teasing the hairs on his chest. Jim moaned softly, his body tensing beneath her touch. She leaned forward, capturing one of his nipples between her teeth, gently biting down. He cried out, his hips bucking upwards, seeking contact with her. She released his nipple, feeling the hard peak beneath her fingertips as it stood at attention.

Her heart raced, her breath coming faster as she leaned forward, her lips brushing against his ear. "You feel so good, Jimmy," she whispered, her voice husky. "So alive." She slid her hand lower, over his abdomen and toward his hip. Her fingers found the soft cotton of his boxers, tracing the outline of his erection through the fabric. "Let me help you feel better," she breathed, her hand moving lower still, reaching beneath the fabric and grasping him firmly.

Jim awoke and quickly jerked up. He looked around confused before focusing on his mother. "Mom?" he said, his voice thick with desire. Sandra smiled softly, her eyes locked on his erection. "You're so big," she breathed, running her hand up and down his shaft. "So hard." She leaned forward, taking him into her mouth, sucking gently at first before deepening the kiss, her tongue swirling around the head of his cock. Jim's hips bucked, pushing deeper into her mouth as he moaned loudly.

Sandra increased speed as her head jerked up and down on Jim’s cock. His hips began to thrust forward, meeting her movements with an urgency that she hadn't expected. His moans filled the room, mixing with her own wet, slurping sounds as she sucked him deeper. She could feel his hot seed building in his veins, ready to explode. “Yes please taste my cum!” he gasped, his voice hoarse.

With one last powerful thrust, Jim came, his seed erupting from his cock and splashing onto the back of her throat. Sandra swallowed eagerly, savoring the salty taste as it filled her mouth. Jim collapsed back onto the bed, his chest heaving as he fought for air. Sandra slowly pulled her mouth away, her lips still wet with his cum, and looked up at him.

“You taste so good. Ahhhh” Sandra moaned as she felt her body shake. The virus flowed into her as her older skin tightened and gained a more youthful color. The crows feet under eyes vanished as she felt her breasts firm up. She grabbed them and felt them grow in her hands. Her graying blond hair gained its vibrant blond color of her youth. Sandra’s back arched as she felt her ass grow. The stockings stretched as her thighs got a bit thicker and her calves got strong. She stood on her toes as her foot arch returned to her dancing form. She felt her tight abdomen as she smiled remembering how men desired her. She was even better than how she was then and an even more handsome man than Jack was before her.

Jim felt his cock come back to attention as he saw his mom become even hotter than she was. Jim was always attracted to her but the virus had made his desires impossible to ignore. “Damn Sandra you’re smoking hot.” Sandra with lightning speed jumped on Jim as she guided his hard member into her wet pussy. She began gyrating as Jim fell back on the bed paralyzed by pleasure. “What did I say about calling me that? I’m mommy baby” she moaned as she squeezed her inner muscles around him. Jim moaned as he felt every inch of her tight, wet heat envelop him. He thrust into her, meeting her rhythm, their skin slapping together in perfect harmony.

Jim finally looked up and caressed her body freeing her breasts from her bra. “Yes mommy. Ungh you feel so good.” Sandra moaned as she felt his hands on her. She reached down and held his wrists, guiding them up above his head, pinning him down as she continued to ride him. Jim felt helpless and utterly at her mercy, his hips bucking uselessly against the bed.

Sandra grabbed Jim’s hands and placed them on her hosiery covered thighs. Jim groaned loudly as he felt his cock twitch. “You like when mommy wears these?” she asked, her voice husky with desire. Jim nodded weakly, his hips moving involuntarily against the bed. She smiled down at him, her eyes flashing with lust. With a swift motion, she slid her hand down between their bodies and began rubbing her clit as she continued to ride him.

Her other hand moved up to cup his face, her thumb tracing circles around his lips. Jim opened his mouth, eager to taste her as she leaned down and brushed their lips together. Their tongues tangled, their breath mixing as they shared the sensation of her body moving against his.

Sandra arched her back, her nails digging into his chest as her orgasm washed over her. She cried out, her body shuddering with pleasure as she came. Jim felt her walls squeeze tight around him, her muscles contracting in the most exquisite way. His own release followed close behind, his seed spilling deep inside her as he groaned.

They both collapsed on the bed as their morals disappeared and their desires increased.

“I was so wrong to keep you cooped up here in the house. I better let you go back to school baby.”

1 week later

Jim was brought into the research facility when a student called the CDC. Apparently Jim couldn’t recall how many students he had sex with. The CDC began testing students to see who was infected and found them all. The virus was contained.

“Sir, he did spend time home before coming back to school. Should we test the mother too?”

“Negative, the virus is only transmitted via fluids. He wouldn’t fuck his mom.”

And so the virus spread.

#beautification #transformation #f2f transformation #breast expansion #bimboification #origin stories #ass expansion #beauty is power #virus #mind corruption #stepmom

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winchestershiresauce · 15 hours

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Dandelion Wine

Summary: When Halsin joins Gale and Tav in the bedroom for the first time, they all get more than they bargained for. This is a tale of intimacy, multiple orgasms, and trying new things.

Gale x f!Tav x Halsin; Halsin x f!Tav; Gale x Halsin; Gale x f!Tav

7851 words

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Smut, M/F, M/M, polyamory, oral sex (f and m receiving), squirting, unprotected PIV, processing trauma, insecurity, discomfort interrupting sex, come eating, so much more

A/N: I think I left a piece of my soul in this fic - let me know if you like it! Comments and reblogs always much appreciated.

The first time Halsin joins them, Gale insists that he only wants to watch. Despite being intellectually on board with multiple relationships, he’s worried that his body will remain firmly in the monogamous camp. He loves Tav, and he trusts her with every fiber of his being, but it still feels overwhelming and a bit scary to imagine sharing such a vulnerable experience with anyone other than her. Hells, he still finds himself feeling self-conscious in his most intimate moments with her, through no fault of her own.

Before Halsin arrives, Gale paces back and forth through the room. He and Tav have discussed seemingly every aspect of the situation to death and back, but he still feels like he is about to jump from great heights with no backup parachute.

Tav walks into their room at the inn with an armful of water carafes and fruit. When she sees the tension in Gale’s body, his shoulders nearly at his ears, her smile fades to a look of concern. He’s thankful that it’s not a look of pity – he’s not sure he could handle that at this moment – but a loving glance with worry behind her eyes.

“I’m afraid they’ll charge us extra for damages if you wear a hole in the floor with your pacing.” She sets the drinks and snacks down on the table in the corner and strides over to where he’s now frozen in place.

“I’m sorry, my love. I know that we’ve been planning this for weeks but I can’t help but find myself feeling terribly nervous. Granted, I’m also excited. I want to see how everything will go, but the nerves won’t settle.” Tav brushes a strand of hair out of his face and tucks it behind his ear. He melts into her touch.

“My silly wizard, there is nothing to apologize for. It’s perfectly natural to be both excited and nervous about something, especially something that’s so new to you! In fact, I’d be more concerned if you weren’t nervous at all. This is a big step and no matter how it goes, some things will change. However, I need you to remember that your comfort and security are just as important as mine and Halsin’s, so I need to be sure that you’ll speak up if you want anything to stop or slow down.” Gale sighs and takes her hands into his. His thumb strokes over the soft skin of her knuckles as he ponders his reply.

“I will, I promise. I believe that you and I have practiced enough that I can say what needs to be said in the moment. I know how to stop things and I will do so if necessary.” He brings their hands up to his mouth and places the softest of kisses to each individual knuckle on her left hand. “I don’t want to back out of this if you’re worried about that,” he adds.

“And if you did want to back out, that would be more than fine! There are plenty of other things we could do while we’re here that don’t involve potentially opening partially healed wounds in the name of sexual exploration.” There’s a slight tease in her tone, but he knows she’s sincere. He’s always admired the way that she can still use humor in any situation without taking away from the significance.

“I know, and thank you. I want to reiterate that I want this, I merely need a bit more reassurance than I expected to.”

“Good thing I brought extra, then.” She grins. He’s not sure he’ll ever get over the butterflies in his belly when she looks at him with such kindness and love. She’s the first person – unless you count Tara – that he knows loves him for every aspect of himself and not just his intellect or what he can do for her. Somehow, she looks his flaws right in the face and draws them into her heart.

Just then, there's a knock at the door. Tav doesn't move to answer it yet, searching Gale's face for any minute reaction. “Do you want me to tell him to wait? I need to make sure you're in the right headspace before he comes in.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm okay. I'm ready. I’ll let him in.” Gale places a kiss on Tav’s forehead and glides over to the door. When he opens it and sees the calm and patient smile on the elf’s face, Tav notices how the tension dissolves from his body.

“Gale! You look well!” Halsin claps a hand on Gale’s shoulder and gives him a reassuring squeeze. A grin spreads across the wizard’s face as his body remembers how calm he tends to feel in Halsin’s presence. There's something about the other man that makes Gale feel secure and cared for, which helps many of his worries dissipate.

“As do you, my friend,” Gale greets him and steps aside to let him stride into the room. Halsin approaches Tav, and Gale is surprised that the look of joy and reverence on her face does not spur jealousy but instead spreads warmth through his chest. He adores being on the receiving end of such a look, and he is glad to find that he loves it all the same no matter who brought that look to her face.

Halsin towers over Tav, resting the heel of his hand on her collarbone so that his fingers brush the side of her neck and his thumb can trace the shape of her jaw. “My heart,” he purrs, locking eyes with her as if gazing into her very soul.

She presses her palm against his chest and feels his heart beating strongly beneath her touch. She’s always amazed how he can remain so calm in the face of anything, so in tune with his own body that his control never seems to falter. Her eyes drift closed and he kisses her forehead, unknowingly mirroring the movements of her other lover moments ago.

“My bear.” She melts into him as he caresses the nape of her neck.

Gale watches them from the other side of the room and begins to feel a twinge of something in his gut. They look so happy and he can’t help but notice the way their bodies fit so well together and how natural their every movement looks. He sighs, lost in thought as his mind begins to drift toward the pattern of worry that had plagued him earlier. He’s sure that he wants to do this – wants to give Tav and Halsin a chance to let their intimacy blossom – but he can’t stop the complicated feelings swirling through him like smoke from smoldering embers.

Gale moves past them to make himself comfortable in the overstuffed armchair across from the bed. His arms rest awkwardly at his sides as he watches Halsin’s mouth cover Tav’s. She groans into the kiss, pressing herself firmly into the elf’s hold. Gale’s stirring anxieties and jealousies are interrupted by the slightest twitch of interest from his cock when he sees Halsin’s large hand spread across her ass and press her pelvis into his.

When Tav pulls away from the kiss, eyelids heavy and cheeks flushed, she lets out a deep sigh. The look of longing on Halsin's face is intoxicating and she can't believe that it's for her. She smiles up at him, arousal stirring deep within her. Before she gets lost in him, she knows she must check in with her wizard.

She pats Halsin’s chest once before setting her sights on Gale, biting her lip in an attempt to stop her from overthinking. Crawling into Gale’s lap, she puts her knees on either side of his hips and drapes her arms around his neck. Her eyes bounce back and forth between his before dotting a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Are you sure that you want this?” she asks. She can see him chewing on the inside of his cheek. “There's still time to change your mind.”

The nervousness on his face softens a bit as he does his best to read the look his partner is giving him. “I do want this, Tav. I want you to have fun.” He smiles.

“I want you to enjoy it too, though.” She twirls a strand of his hair around her finger as she scans his face for signs of discomfort.

“I will. I get to watch two of my favorite people get lost in each other in a way they haven't before.” His hands rest against her ribs, his thumbs rubbing against the fabric of her shirt in reassurance.

As she leans in close, her breath tickling the shell of his ear, he can’t resist moving his hands down to settle on her hips.

“Are you sure you just want to watch?” She nips at his earlobe and his fingers reflexively dig into her sides. She grins when she feels him begin to harden against her inner thigh, and Gale swallows heavily but nods.

“For now, yes.” She pulls back just far enough to catch his gaze and strokes her thumb across his cheekbone. He does his best to convey sincerity in his smile, his gaze refusing to waver.

“If at any point you change your mind, don’t hesitate to jump in.” She smirks. Tav scrapes her fingernails along the stubble of his beard on the underside of his jaw as she stands up, reveling in the blown pupils that stare up at her. She feels a hand snake around her waist and warmth envelop her as Halsin steps up behind her. He sets his chin on Tav’s shoulder and gazes down at the other man with a look that Gale can't quite place.

“Yes, please join in the fun if you feel at all inclined.” Halsin’s low, husky tone sends a shiver through Tav and to her core, but Gale feels it too. He can’t deny the way the sensual quality of Halsin’s voice affects him. Gale's eyes shift between their eager faces, and he nods.

“I certainly will, should the desire arise.” His smile is soft and genuine despite the nerves bubbling beneath the surface. Gale places his hand over Halsin’s on Tav’s hip and the two men share an understanding and intimate look.

Halsin pulls Tav back against him and begins peppering open-mouthed kisses all over her neck and shoulder. She strokes her thumb lovingly over the back of Gale’s hand as she feels herself melt into the elf’s hold. Arousal already blooming in her center, she spins in his arms and tangles her fingers into Halsin’s luscious locks. She crashes her lips against his with force. He takes short steps backwards toward the bed, dragging Tav along with him, his long fingers splayed across her lower back. Tav moans as she feels Halsin’s erection growing harder, chasing his pelvis with hers. He plops down onto the bed and pulls her immediately into his lap.

Gale’s eyes flit over the two of them and to each spot where their bodies touch, his mind attempting to process and catalogue all of the thoughts and sensations that run through him. Just moments ago, it had been his lap that she ground herself into. He could still feel the lingering warmth of her where she had pressed herself into him, and his fingers flex in response as if grabbing onto her. Watching Halsin’s mouth latch onto her throat, Gale groans at the sound that escapes her lips. His cock is more insistently calling for his attention, but he wants to wait until his head is on straight before addressing it.

Halsin pulls Tav’s top over her head and growls at the sight of her bare breasts hanging heavily in front of his face. His teeth skate across the skin of her chest and he sucks a nipple into his mouth, causing her to throw her head back in pleasure. Gale’s eyes darken as Halsin kneads her other breast roughly and she drags her clothed core over the large bulge in the front of his pants.

After a few moments of heavy petting, Halsin suddenly stands up, forcing Tav upright with him, and turns them around so that he can push her backwards onto the bed. She lays back and watches him through her lashes as he undoes the laces on her bottoms and pulls them off of her. Gale can’t help but groan as he sees her wetness glistening deliciously in the dim light when her thighs drift apart for the elf.

“My dear magic man, I have no idea how you ever leave that tower of yours when you have a woman this delectable in your bed.” Tav’s breath catches in her throat as Halsin gently caresses her bare thighs with his calloused fingers. He kneads the soft, supple skin there, licking his lips at the sight of her spread out before him. Eager to feel her skin against his, Halsin strips himself bare without much fanfare. Before he does anything more, he turns to address the man across the room: “What do you think, Gale, should I give her my tongue or my fingers first?”

Another groan escapes Gale’s lips and he presses the heel of his hand down into his growing erection, trying to relieve some of the tension and overcome the arousal that threatens to overtake him. “She prefers– t-tongue,” he answers, his voice nearly failing him.

When Halsin suddenly drops to his knees at the end of the bed, pulls Tav to the edge, and slides his tongue through her folds from hole to clit, Gale stops fighting the temptation and shoves his hand in his trousers to wrap around his needy cock. He knows how sweet she tastes and finds he loves getting to watch Halsin finally experience what he's long fantasized about.

Tav gasps at the immense pleasure of her lover’s practiced tongue as Halsin continues to work her over. He presses his face into her cunt like he'll never be able to get enough and sucks her clit into his mouth. It feels so good that she could pen sonnets, if only her brain were able to form words.

Her breaths come shallow and quick as he flicks the tip of his tongue over her sensitive bud, and Gale’s fist tightens painfully around his cock, still resisting the urge to stroke himself. He had expected it to eat him alive to see the love of his life squirming in pleasure on someone else's tongue, but he finds that he relishes taking notice of all of Tav’s subtle, delicious reactions to the way Halsin devours her.

Halsin hums and looks up at Tav from between her legs. Her eyelids are heavy and her mouth hangs open, unable to focus on anything but the delectable onslaught between her thighs. “How’s our wizard doing?” he asks her as his pointer finger teases around her slick entrance. He continues to lap at her wetness with his flattened tongue, but his eyes are watching her face. Her head lolls to the side, she looks over at Gale, and her breath catches at the sight of him.

Gale’s face is flushed, redness spread across his cheekbones, and his jaw is clenched. While one hand is shoved deep into his pants, shaking as he tries to hold back from pleasing himself, the other is balled up tightly against his thigh. He looks like he's halfway to being drunk but still wound so tight that he could easily snap.

“Good,” Gale answers before Tav can, his voice tight. Halsin glances his way and finally notices the way Gale is restraining himself. While holding eye contact with the other man, Halsin thrusts two fingers into Tav in one quick, smooth motion. Gale sees her body tense at the surprise of the pleasant intrusion and a shudder runs through him.

“You like what you see?” the druid asks, cocking an eyebrow. Gale nods and pink flushes up his neck and to his ears. Halsin flashes him a smile. “You don't have to hold back, you know.” Gale looks between them, assessing. “Even if you don't join us physically, we want you to be a part of things.” Gale is so turned on but his skin prickles with self-consciousness as their attention is directed at him. Tav props herself up on her elbows to get a better look while Halsin continues to stretch her open with his thick digits.

“Can I at least see what you're doing over there, my love?” Her mouth is agape from the pleasure coursing through her. Her words paired with the blissed-out, eager look on her face is enough to give Gale the confidence he needs to make himself more comfortable.

Tav watches, enraptured, as he stands from the chair and begins to remove his clothes. Despite his shyness, with two gorgeous sets of eyes on him, he takes his sweet time unbuttoning his shirt. The way neither of them can take their eyes off of every sliver of skin he reveals has him feeling powerful in ways he never expected.

As the fabric of his shirt pools on the floor at his feet, his fingers move to the laces on the front of his trousers. After they're unlaced, he slips his thumbs into the waistband and pauses as if considering his next move. Tav licks her lips in anticipation and Gale shoots her a small smirk before shucking them off in one motion. His aching cock springs free and stands at attention, though he suddenly feels a bit vulnerable and overexposed.

Tav notices the shift in his expression and sits up, ready to go to him, but Halsin speaks first. “Oak Father preserve me…” he sighs. “Aren't you a sight to behold?” Gale blushes at the praise and Tav settles back again, smiling at the way a flush of pink blooms through his chest. “Will you come over here so I can get a better look at you?”

Gale nods shyly and takes a few steps to approach where Halsin is crouched next to the bed. His eyes scan the scene before him: the light sheen of sweat glimmering on Halsin's skin, the slick wetness covering the fingers of his right hand where they pump in and out of Tav, and the thick heavy cock that juts out between Halsin's tree trunk thighs.

Gale's never been with a man before, but he thinks that if he'd met more men like Halsin, that may not have been the case. He salivates wondering what it might taste like to have the druid on his tongue. Would he be sweet and tangy like Tav? Wet and earthy like the forest after a rain shower? He longs to find out but isn't quite sure if he's ready yet. Feeling brave, he reaches out to brush a sweaty piece of hair off Halsin's forehead and the larger man brushes a kiss against the inside of Gale's wrist.

Gale turns his head toward Tav in an attempt to hide his blush from the man who caused it. She gives him a soft, encouraging smile but he's distracted by the continued movement of Halsin's fingers. Gale watches how they curl and rub inside of Tav and he reaches out to draw circles around her clit with his thumb.

“It's awfully difficult to look but not touch,” Gale explains, and Halsin chuckles.

“I know what you mean… Just look at the state of you.” Halsin nods to where Gale's cock twitches in delight, a bead of arousal escaping from the tip.

Gale feels like his brain short-circuits as it floods with images of the elf’s hands all over him. He wants it, wants it so bad he can hardly think of anything else, but the analytical side of his brain is whirring away, trying to figure out what it all means.

“You– you can touch me,” Gale whispers. Tav clenches around Halsin's fingers in anticipation and surprise, and she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

“Are you sure, Gale? It's only enjoyable if you really want it.” Halsin looks up at the wizard and attempts to read the look on his face. Gale looks nervous and pent up beyond belief, and Halsin knows he has to be prepared for a sudden change of heart. He won't deny the man what he wants, he'll simply make the environment as comfortable and conducive to experimentation as he can.

“I want you to touch me.” Gale pulls his hand away from Tav and sets it on Halsin's shoulder for stability. Halsin nods with a smile.

Halsin scissors his fingers inside Tav to coat them in her slick before he pulls them out of her. Gale watches his every movement and his throat tightens as he sees Halsin's hand, covered in her juices, moving in his direction. His eyes grow wide as he realizes what Halsin is going to do right before Halsin wraps his lubricated hand around Gale's shaft.

The warmth and wetness is overwhelming and Gale goes rigid. It feels so good and yet so foreign to have Halsin's hand on him that he's worried he might explode. His eyes slam closed and his grip on the elf’s shoulder tightens until his fingernails threaten to break skin as Halsin slowly strokes Gale's cock.

But it's too much.

He isn't ready. He wants to backtrack.

Halsin immediately picks up on the shift in Gale's demeanor and pulls his hand away.

“I'm sorry, I–” Gale stammers and Halsin pats his hip in reassurance. Tav sits up and takes one of Gale's hands in hers.

“There is no need for apologies,” Halsin replies, “It was too much too fast.” Gale nods and refuses to look at either of them, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“We can stop,” Tav adds, pressing a kiss to Gale's palm. He jerks his head to look at her.

“No! No, don't stop. I merely bit off more than I could chew for a moment, but please continue. I only need a moment, and then I want to watch you unravel for him.” Gale's eyes darken as he looks between the other two and Halsin’s cock throbs at his words.

“Then let's take a moment to ground ourselves and breathe,” Halsin suggests. He rests one hand on Tav’s thigh and the other hangs at his side, wanting to comfort Gale but not wanting to overwhelm him.

Tav’s fingertips delicately trace over the lines traversing Gale's palm. Gale closes his eyes and focuses only on her calming touch and his breathing. His other hand still rests on Halsin's shoulder, giving him a sense of stability. He finds himself wanting a comforting touch from the elf as well, but doesn't trust his body's reaction to the sensation.

As the three of them sit in silence, a tangle of soft intimate touches, Gale's breathing begins to slow. He tunes out the worries and focuses on the connection that he feels between them. Opening his eyes, he catches Tav’s gaze and a soft smile tugs at his lips. His thumb rubs over Halsin's shoulder before he moves it to cradle Tav’s face. Gale presses his forehead to hers and they melt into each other for a moment.

“I love you,” Gale murmurs. His lips find hers for a soft, lingering kiss that manages to communicate a sense of both trust and longing.

“I love you,” Tav replies. Foreheads pressed together, they stare into each other's eyes for a moment and take it all in.

Gale presses his mouth to hers again, gentle and chaste, before he turns back to Halsin. “Show her just what a powerful archdruid is capable of.” He shoots the other man a wink, claps him on the back, and starts to pad over to his chair.

“As you wish,” Halsin growls and presses his face into the junction of Tav’s thighs. She yelps in surprise as his tongue plunges between her folds, and she grabs the elf’s hair for support. Halsin wastes no time shoving three fingers into her tight, dripping pussy and her hips jerk against his face. His assault is relentless and she knows she won't last long as he fills her with his fingers and worships her clit with his tongue.

Gale groans at the delightful sounds that spill from her throat as he watches Tav squirm. A loud squelching fills the room as Halsin fucks her with his thick fingers. She's babbling, hardly able to string coherent sounds together, as the nerves throughout her body thrum with pleasure. As he alternates between open-mouthed kisses to her vulva and his tongue frantically flicking over her aching clit, he curls his fingers back toward himself inside her to rub harshly over the spot that makes her see stars. Her knees nearly give out as the dam suddenly breaks and she's coming.

A broken sob escapes from Tav as her whole body curls inward and her walls spasm around Halsin's fingers. Her juices spill over his chin and his hand and he just can't get enough. She's so wet and so sweet that it may as well be honey that gushes over his tongue as he laps up everything she gives him.

Gale's cock leaks as he watches the larger man nearly drown in the ecstasy that flows from Tav, and he digs his fingertips into the arms of the chair in an attempt to maintain his composure. As much as he wants to touch and be touched, he finds he takes immense pleasure in watching her fall apart. His favorite part of being intimate with Tav is getting to witness the way her composure crumbles when she's reached a certain point. In most areas of her life, she's so put together and eloquent that it's a special privilege to see her in such a raw state when she's hardly more than a babbling mess.

The sounds Halsin makes are animalistic as he works Tav through her climax. He's so engulfed in her that he thinks he'd crawl inside her if he could, just to feel her over every inch of him. When she gets too sensitive to handle his mouth on her anymore, she tugs on his hair to drag him back up to his feet. Immediately, his mouth is on hers as he guides her back toward the bed.

Something in Halsin has snapped and his gentle, loving caresses have been replaced with raw, primal need. Tasting herself on his lips and tongue does something similar to Tav and her hands are everywhere, needing to map every inch of him.

She pants hard, trying to catch her breath from an intense orgasm, as his body covers hers on the bed. His fingers tangle in her hair and he grips tightly, desperate to hold her close. His mouth moves from her lips to her jaw to her neck, kissing and sucking at every spot of skin in his reach. Her fingertips dig into his back, trying impossibly to bring him closer to her. She needs to touch him, taste him, feel him, but it's not enough.

Tav reaches between Halsin's legs and wraps her hand around his aching cock. Halsin growls at the sensation, his face buried in her neck. His hips thrust forward on their own accord, seeking more as she grips him and slides her soft palm over his sensitive shaft.

“Need to be inside you,” Halsin grunts, his careful composure gone for the moment.

“Please,” Tav whines, begging for him to fill her.

Gale spits into his hand, deciding that he'll give in and stroke himself at the moment Halsin's beautiful cock sinks into the tight wetness of Tav’s pussy.

Tav moves to guide Halsin to her center but she doesn't move fast enough for the desperate elf, so he reaches between them to grip himself tightly and line himself up with her hole, coating the head in her slick. He looks into her eyes, about to ask for confirmation, but she nods frantically and wraps her legs around the backs of his thighs, drawing him in.

The world melts around Halsin for a moment as he plunges into the depths of pleasure. Her warm wetness engulfs him and his senses, blocking out any coherent thought. Driven by primal instinct, he begins to thrust into her hard and fast.

Gale grips his desperate cock and imagines that it's Tav’s cunt squeezing him rather than his own spit-soaked hand. He matches his strokes to the rhythm of Halsin's thrusts and it feels like a thunderstorm is brewing under his skin. He watches the giant elf’s broad, sweaty body as his thick cock impales the woman Gale loves. All uncertainty leaves him when he sees the look of ecstasy and desperation on her face – Gale knows what she needs and he revels in the gasps and whimpers she makes as she gets it.

Tav grips Halsin’s hair in a tight fist, digs the fingernails of her left hand into the meat of his tricep, and cries out at the slight sting and immense pleasure of her overfilled cunt taking everything it’s given. She’s chanting fuck , and please , and yes over and over as Halsin pounds into her.

He’s so close, unable to handle much more as his nerves crackle at the energy between them. His heart is pounding so hard he can hear the blood rushing in his ears alongside the sound of flesh striking flesh and the wet suction of Tav’s cunt trying to hold him deep inside.

Between heavy breaths, Halsin groans, “Gonna come – Where?” Gale’s hand is moving frantically up and down his cock, adding his own slapping sounds to the mix, as he hurtles toward his own climax. He can't stop watching the way Halsin's length disappears inside her as her walls grip him.

“Inside me!” Tav cries out and the desperate desire in her voice pushes both Gale and Halsin over the edge. Halsin shoves himself as deep into her depths as he can, and he paints her insides with his seed. At the same moment, Gale’s balls tighten and his hand stills as ropes of come spurt from his cock to paint his abdomen.

The sensation of Halsin’s cock pulsing and filling her sends Tav into her second climax as she spasms dramatically around him. Her cunt squeezes him tight, milking every drop it can get from him. Tav’s thighs quiver and her body shakes under him as the waves of pleasure course through her and come out of her mouth as wanton moans.

Gale's head drops back against the back of the chair as he tries to catch his breath. He holds his slowly-softening manhood and tries not to think about the mess he's made of his lap.

Halsin peppers kisses all over Tav’s face and chest as she comes down from her high, and once she catches her breath, she loosens her grip on his hair and kisses him passionately. They're both sweaty and flushed and a bit sore, but they're lost in each other for a short while. She pushes back the hair plastered to Halsin's forehead and he looks at her with such love and adoration that her heart could burst. After a few long moments drinking each other in, Halsin looks over at Gale before turning back to Tav.

“Let me go check on Gale, my heart.” The druid strokes her cheek and places a quick kiss to the corner of her dopey smile. She nods and allows her limbs to fall to the bed like dead weight, letting the normal sensations slowly return back to her body.

Gale lifts his head and watches as Halsin pulls out of her with a wince and stands. He looks at Gale with softness and a touch of mischief in his eyes as he approaches. Halsin stands over the other man and assesses the scene in front of him: his flushed cheeks, his chest glistening with sweat, the sticky mess clinging to his skin.

Gale's cheeks burn as he mistakes the look in Halsin's eyes for judgment rather than interest. “I seem to have made a bit of a mess of myself,” he tells the elf with a self-conscious chuckle.

“That you have,” Halsin hums. “Is that why you blush, handsome wizard?” Gale looks down at the floor, avoiding Halsin's gaze. There are so many thoughts and feelings going through his head and he can’t quite grasp how to process or articulate them. Halsin puts a finger under Gale's chin and tips his face so that he looks up at him. “Are you embarrassed to have enjoyed yourself?” Gale swallows heavily.

Tav is tempted to listen to their conversation but stays out of it, happily giving them as much privacy as she can without moving. Her eyelids are getting heavy, and she can feel sleep call to her.

“Perhaps.” Gale's voice is quiet and he picks at a loose thread on the arm of the chair.

“Oh, Gale,” Halsin says. “You don't have anything to be embarrassed about.” This gets Gale to look up to him, though he looks incredulous.

“Don't I? Aren't I supposed to feel possessive over my partner? What kind of man am I to get pleasure from watching her be taken and claimed by another? Shouldn't I feel discomfort? Shouldn’t I want to intervene?” His mind is racing and the words are spilling out before he can filter them. Insecurities from his past begin to bubble up and, though he tries, he can’t cast them aside anymore.

Halsin smiles gently. “It would seem that you're the kind of man who enjoys seeing your love be happy and fulfilled. Did you feel discomfort?”

Gale pauses before answering, carefully considering and taking inventory of his mind. “I did feel discomfort at first, when I was thinking about it. I was worried about how I’d react once things started happening. I know that no matter how much you mentally prepare for something, you can never truly know what you’ll do until you’re in the situation. However, once you were here and it was real, I felt much calmer. I couldn’t help but to get aroused and that overrode my thinking, which allowed me to enjoy the experience and lean into the pleasure.” Halsin mulls over Gale’s words, contemplating their meaning. He knows that ultimately, Gale’s philosophies and morals come from very different sources from his own, and he takes that into consideration as he ponders how to frame his response.

“I believe that nature itself gave us the capability to be complex and ever-changing beings, and that includes every facet of our sexuality. Whether we’re monogamous or opposed to it, or somewhere in between, is deeply personal and potentially dynamic. It’s natural to fall anywhere on that spectrum, and it’s natural for your needs and wants to shift based on circumstances. If you enjoyed yourself, and everyone involved both fully consented and enjoyed themselves, why should there be shame? What purpose would that shame serve?”

Gale sits in silence for a moment as he processes. He thinks deeply, his thoughts branching off into a thousand different directions as he tries to break it down like any other intellectual endeavor. Some parts are quick to click into place in his mind, while others are more difficult to understand and internalize. “I can concede that you make some very good points, but I have to wonder about others. In the past, with Mystra, she sought other lovers and I did not enjoy that in the slightest. Why would that be different now? Could the difference be that I somehow love Tav less than I did Mystra? That I feel less afraid to lose her and thus am less emotionally reactive?”

Halsin can’t help but chuckle that someone with such an immense breadth of knowledge can be so disconnected from the inner workings of his own mind. “Oh, Gale. You wizards certainly do enjoy overcomplicating things, don't you? Could it not instead mean that you’re less afraid to lose her because you feel secure in your relationship with Tav, whereas with Mystra you did not?”

Gale ponders that, his mind running through the different instances when Mystra found pleasure in the arms of another and comparing them to the instances when he'd discussed the same with Tav. “With Mystra, it wasn't a conversation or a choice. She told me that was how it was going to be and who was I to argue with my goddess? Her word was final and if I wanted to be with her, I had to find a way to deal with her decisions on my own–”

“I think you know that's not how a partnership is meant to be.” Halsin’s response is curt and leaves little room for argument, which manages to trigger Gale’s deep-seeded reflex to defend Mystra. He stops himself, however, as he recognizes what is happening and it surprises him.

“I suppose intellectually, I do.” Gale sighs and continues, “Things with Mystra were also different in that I was not allowed the same courtesy. While I may not have wanted to be with anyone other than her, the fact of the matter is that I would have never been allowed to be. That is, as you’re well aware, not the case with Tav.”

“Indeed, and I think those differences are enough to make this an entirely different situation. Do you?”

Gale takes in Halsin’s words and the comforting, understanding look in his eyes, and he nods. He respects the druid’s judgment, knowing it comes from many years of experience. The way he’s explained it allows the rational side of Gale’s brain to connect with the emotional side. Halsin knows what he’s talking about.

“Is there someone else you'd like to be with now, Gale?” Halsin asks tentatively.

Gale sucks in a sharp breath and looks back up at Halsin. He’s somehow surprised that the conversation has taken this turn and, despite everything he’s just bared to the other man, he tries to steel himself against the impulse to hide or deflect. He shies away from the feeling of Halsin gazing into his soul and closes his eyes before answering, “I– I’d like to be with you, Halsin. Or at least give it a try.”

The room is silent for a moment and Gale opens his eyes again. A soft smile spreads across the druid’s face in response as he takes in how open and exposed the wizard looks. Not even taking into account the fact that he’s sitting naked in front of him, the look on Gale's face is one of pure vulnerability. It’s clear that it’s not easy for him to put himself out there like this.

“I had hoped you'd say that, Gale Dekarios.” Halsin caresses the stubble on Gale's jawline with his thumb, basking in the way his eyes sparkle as he looks up at the taller man.

“You did?” Gale’s voice sounds surprised.

“Of course I did,” Halsin chuckles. He crouches down to bring himself to Gale’s level, at least physically, and gazes intently into the man's eyes. “I may have to question your wisdom if you claim to be unaware of my attraction to you.”

Gale can’t help but laugh, blushing furiously but thankful that the other man has lightened the moment. His gentle teasing breaks the tension, much like when Tav does the same. “I suppose I can admit that I've noticed some signals from you.” He glances away, feeling exposed in the intensity of Halsin's gaze, before continuing, “In my defense, you are such an open, comfortable, and confident man that it can be difficult to discern what is genuine interest and what is just you being, well, you.”

He reaches out to touch the larger man but hesitates as he isn’t sure where to start. When Halsin grins, Gale brushes the tip of his thumb over his bottom lip, marveling at how it feels to touch him while the broad elf looks at him with adoration and hunger. His lip is soft and plush, and Gale wants to feel it everywhere. Halsin purses his lips and kisses the pad of Gale’s thumb, causing the human’s breath to catch in his throat. “Kiss me,” Gale whispers.

Of course, Halsin immediately obliges. Before the words are fully out of his mouth, Halsin runs his fingers through Gale's soft waves and presses his palm against the back of his head. Halsin gently guides Gale's face toward his, slow enough to give him plenty of chances to change his mind and pull away, and presses his lips against the lips of the younger man.

Gale kisses him back sweetly and then not-so-sweetly, as his mouth drifts open to allow Halsin to deepen the kiss. His tongue slips over Gale's tongue, massaging the strong muscle. Gale tastes Tav’s juices on Halsin's tongue and it stirs something in him. His hands begin scrabbling for purchase, desperate to get a good grip and pull the elf closer, nearly dragging Halsin into his lap. He hungers for him, eager to explore every nook and cranny of Halsin's mouth with his tongue.

Gale's breathing is ragged as the two men get lost in each other. They move to stand to get closer to one another, and Gale shudders at the way Halsin's hand nearly dwarfs his face when it cups his jaw. The smaller man's fingertips dig into the elf's thick biceps as he fails to resist grinding their hips together.

Halsin's pupils are blown wide as he takes in the uncharacteristic neediness of the wizard. He wants so badly to make the less experienced man feel good, so he slides down to his knees and gazes up at Gale.

Gale lets out another shuddering breath as he attempts to process the scene in front of him: he's seen Tav in this position countless times and it never gets old, but the novelty of seeing a powerful archdruid on his knees for him is nearly overwhelming.

“May I?” Halsin asks softly after what feels like ages. Unable to trust his voice, Gale meekly nods.

Halsin runs his hands up Gale's thighs, callused fingers catching on the soft hair there, and places a single kiss on Gale's pelvic crest. He looks up at the brunette to gauge his reaction and the reverent look on his face encourages Halsin to continue. He leaves gentle pecks across Gale's soft belly, undeterred by the partially-dry spendings that coat his skin. Halsin drags his tongue across a particularly bountiful river of Gale’s spend before sucking it into his mouth, delighting in the taste of his essence. He continues to suck at the skin there, leaving a mark on the flesh, just a hair west of where Gale needs his mouth the most. Gale’s wound so tightly that Halsin can feel the tension where he touches him as he continues to place teasing kisses across the wizard’s navel and groin.

“Please,” Gale whines and Halsin’s cock jumps at the sound. The elf’s mouth hovers over the other man’s length, his hot breath caressing Gale’s hardness. The man’s hands rest on Halsin’s shoulders but clench into fists as he tries to resist pulling Halsin’s face closer.

Prolonging the torture, Halsin’s hands dance across Gale’s skin until they settle over his hips. Halsin locks eyes with Gale, smirking, and just as the desperate man is about to beg him to do something, anything , he slips Gale’s aching cock into his mouth in one fluid motion. The tension in Gale’s muscles doubles as his senses are overloaded with pleasure. Halsin’s mouth is hot and wet as he sucks Gale down until his nose is pressed into Gale’s coarse brown curls. The wizard’s legs nearly give out as his body begins to relax in response to the chorus of wondrous sensations.

Gale lets out a stream of curses under his breath as Halsin’s mouth begins to move over him. His tongue slides along the underside of Gale’s cock and the less experienced man can’t help but tangle his fingers into the druid’s long hair. He begins babbling, narrating the sensations he’s feeling and heaping praise onto the kneeling man, when he sees Tav stir out of the corner of his eye. Not wanting to wake her, he digs his front teeth into his lip to keep his voice at bay, but the monologue of nonsense continues to run through his head.

Halsin bobs his head, licking and sucking Gale like a man starved, and Gale’s hips begin moving on their own accord. He takes everything Gale is willing to give him as he works the wizard over, and he doesn’t even flinch when Gale suddenly thrusts forward, tenses, and spurts come down his throat. The elf slows his movements, greedily swallowing every drop that the other man releases and working Gale through his peak.

As Gale becomes to sensitive to handle the sensation anymore, Halsin pulls his mouth off of him but otherwise makes no attempt to move from his position. Gale breathes deeply, grounding himself by running his fingers through the druid’s soft yet tangled hair. Halsin moves to stand, caressing Gale’s sides as he does so. The room quiet around them, they stand in comfortable silence for a few moments and just breathe. Gale’s fingers are still in Halsin’s hair, Halsin’s hands rest on Gale’s hips as if stabilizing him, and they gaze into each other’s eyes. Gale doesn’t know what to say, simultaneously wanting to process everything and not wanting his mind to drift away from the current moment.

“I think it’s time to get some rest,” Halsin suggests.

“But what about you? Do you want me to return the favor?” Gale asks, his mind suddenly trying to fill in his understanding of the expected etiquette of the situation. Halsin chuckles and strokes the wizard’s cheek.

“We can save that for next time. Right now, I think Tav’s got the right idea.” They both glance over to where she lays, nude and sprawled across the bed, only one leg under the covers. An adoring smile creeps over Gale’s face as he watches her shift in her sleep. He turns back to Halsin and his eyes flit over the elf’s face, carefully cataloging every freckle, dimple, and wrinkle.

“Let me get cleaned up and then I’ll join you two,” Gale says, tipping his head in the direction of the bed.

“Will you stay?” Gale’s voice is quiet, but no longer shrouded in uncertainty. Halsin brings his hands up to the wizard’s face and smiles.

“I’d like that.” Halsin presses a gentle kiss to the other man’s lips, and Gale’s surprised at how natural it feels. Gale knows that at some point, likely the next day, his mind will take over and need to analyze every aspect of the situation, but for the moment, he feels safe and desired and loved.

Halsin smiles and caresses Gale's jaw with his thumbs. “Take your time, we’ll make sure there’s room for you.”

#Halsin x Tav #Gale x Halsin x Tav #Gale x Halsin #Gale x Tav #baldurs gate 3 #gale x reader #halsin x reader #Gale x Halsin x reader

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atopvisenyashill · 3 months

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once again saying that the way people focus on how ~well book accurate rhaenyra was fat~ but literally never talk about aegon or helaena being *actually drawn as fat in official art* is so so weird

#tbf sometimes u get deranged twitter targies who focus on a & h’s weight but #in my experience it’s way more rare. people just. constantlyyyyyy obsess over rhaenyra’s weight and i’m not even saying she isn’t fat #i am saying her official art is skinny and i think people focus on her body for misogynistic reasons even people who like her #i just think we need to stop discussing her body so much. i think it’s really weird. esp when people recast ~accurately~ with cis actors #are u admitting what your actual problem with how rhaenyra is portrayed perhaps.#fandom wank #also if you’re like ‘wait did i’ i promise i saw like 12 posts today about it from 13 different people that’s why i’m bitching #it’s not one person it’s a fandom trend and i think it’s weird

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inkskinned · 5 months

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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

#spilled ink #writeblr #pos #recovery #my brain is like - don't trust it!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! we can't be wrong again!!!!!!#and im like. what if the sorrow is the thing that's wrong though.#what if this - this!!!!! - is the truth

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munivrse · 4 months

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༊*·˚ hold me

alpha!gf!bada....

c/w: gp!bada... alpha bada... rough, possessive gf bada. fingering. knotting. lots of cum... mild marking. mentions of breeding and pregnancy....

a/n: uhm... merry christmas! @princhii @thevenussapphic

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

“do you think these are cute?” you hold the items up to bada, awaiting a response.

bada is extremely distracted right now. there is a man staring at you from across the aisle and something about it is making bada’s head spin. after he stops practically eye fucking you, he meets bada’s and his face pales a bit. bada’s eyes narrow and she steps impossibly close to you, watching him until he walks to the next aisle.

“… are you good.”

bada��s head whips to yours and she realizes just how close she had actually gotten. she was nearly squishing you against the clothing rack.

“shit— sorry. sorry baby,” bada steps back, “they’re really cute. you wanna go try them on for me?”

bada watches as you nod and bounce away. she felt odd. like… like there was something coursing through her that she couldn’t quite put a finger on. she followed you into the dressing room, sitting on the stool in the corner.

you make quick work changing out of your current clothes and into the white dress that caught your girlfriends eye. when you face the mirror, you spot bada behind you, scanning your figure up and down. she takes her lip between her teeth. when her eyes reach yours, her eyes a slightly hooded and have the slighted glaze over them.

“you look great, baby. spin for me?”

you do as your told, spinning until bada’s hands catch your hips. she pulls you on top of her lap. her eyes focus on your figure once again, stopping when they see how your breasts almost spill out of your low cut top. she licks her lips— you look fucking delicious

“you look so pretty today, angel.” bada’s eyes flick back up to yours. she moves one hand from your hips up to cup your jaw. she pulls you in for a searing kiss, tongue licking against your own. you feel her hips buck up into yours and she lets out a quiet hiss.

“so fucking pretty for me.” she continues her assault on your lips and pushes you down into her lap. her head is spinning and she feels like she’s floating. bada continues moving your hips back and forth on her lap, pushing up into you, fighting for any sort of friction for her weeping cock-

“shit- shit, princess. keep grinding on me like that. please, baby.”

you pull away from bada slightly, just enough to utter a couple words,

“we can’t bada. we’re in public-”

bada lets out a loud, loud whine. her hips stutter as she fucks her hips against your clothed lower half. the grip on your hip tightens so much bada distantly thinks of how her fingertips might leave marks on you which only spurs her on further.

“f-fuck. please baby. i need it.” she whispers against your mouth, eyes welling up with tears.

your hand goes up to cup bada’s forehead-

“you’re burning up. are you okay?”

bada’s hand leaves your jaw and stops at your throat, squeezing lightly. she pulls away from you with spit slicked lips. she takes all of you in, the way you look just slightly fucked out. the way you’re gripping onto her shoulders as she guides your hips to rub up against her own.

you let out a weak whine, “bada-”

and bada’s eyes roll to the back of her fucking head. her mouth opens in a silent moan, entire body tensing as she creams her pants, hips slowly rolling into your own as she draws out her orgasm. and you feel the wet patch before it even connects in your brain exactly what just happened.

needless to say you both quickly left the shop, an embarrassed bada trailing behind you, holding you against her body as you walk out.

you guys dont discuss it any further.

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

three days later you find yourself trapped under bada as she subconsciously buries her face into your neck. your hands rub up and down her back,

“bada..?”

she groans a little in defiance.

“c’mon you big baby, wake up. i’m dying.”

she doesn’t respond immediately, she just shoves her face further into your skin. after a couple moments, you switch to lightly raking your nails against the fabric of her shirt.

you hear her hiss and feel her pull herself up. she positions herself so that she’s fully hovering over you. she’s got a lopsided grin on her face,

“g’morning baby.”

bada’s arms cage the sides of your head as she leans down to press a kiss to your lips. she pulls away but something in her brain short circuits when she tastes your lips. she immediately swoops back down to kiss you again, one hand cradling your head. she kisses down your jaw, down your neck,, and stops at the juncture between your neck and shoulder. you feel her sigh into your neck,

“i’m gonna call out today.”

you run your fingers through her hair,

“you okay?”

“yeah i just..” she croaks out, voice scratchy from sleep, “i just feel like i need to be close to you right now.”

she leaves soft kisses against your skin. she distantly wonders why she feels like she’s gonna die if she’s more than 6ft away from you, but all thoughts are thrown to the window when you decide to scratch her scalp with your nails.

“feels so good, baby. thank you.”

you continue running your nails across her scalp. she’d been so clingy lately, you couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her. she’d been a little more lazy, a little slower in her movements.

“you smell so fucking good, y/n.”

you push her off of you and giggle,

“im gonna go try and make us breakfast—” badas eyes light up but you raise your hands up, “dont get your hopes up. we’ll probably have to order in anyway. i am no chef.”

as you shimmy your way out of bed, bada takes in the way your hips sway when you walk. they way her shirt reaches just below your ass. she can kinda see your curves through the fabric of her shirt—

bada feels herself sweat as the thinks about taking you just like that. raising her shirt up. pulling your flimsy panties to the side and fucking you full of her. she wonders, distantly, how well you’d take her knot.

well, fuck. bada throws herself back into bed as she comes to her realization— shes in a rut.

she stays like that for about 15 minutes. she tries really, really hard to push those thoughts down and be normal. but then she hears pans clanking in the kitchen and she remembers you’re there and her feet guide her to you, without thought.

when bada reaches her destination, she leans against the door frame. she’s been doing alot of admiring lately. this time she admires your legs and how your thighs rub together when you walk. she wonders how they’d feel wrapped around her head—

“fuck it.” she mutters.

you hear her, feel her before you see her. her hands grip your waist as she flips you to face her and lifts you to place you on the counter. when you take in her appearance, shes flushed from neck up. sweat beads at her forehead. her pupils are blown wide and her mouth is open in a slight pant. her tongue darts out to wet her lips as her eyes flick from your own down to your lips.

“i need you,” her voice cracks in need, “are you gonna let me have you, baby?”

your skin pricks with sweat too, almost mirroring your partners. its then you have the realization as well. how clingy bada has been, how needy she is, how domineering shes been with you. the way she’s dressed you for the past week— baggy clothes… her clothes. you realize now she’s been marking you for the past week, putting extra on your plate. covering you up more, making sure you were warm and comfortable.

“bada are you-”

“yes— yes. tell me i can take you. tell me you want it, pretty girl. tell me you need it.”

bada’s eyes shift into something less desperate, more dangerous. her hands grip your hips and pull you into her own and you feel it. a cock, hot, heavy. waiting for you. you whine out upon contact,

“i need it bada, please.”

bada lets out a dark chuckle,

“so polite. so easy.”

she presses her lips against yours, calculated and smooth. her mouth molds against your own and you feel her pant each time she pulls away. her lips are more needy than the last each time she goes back in and eventually she nips at your bottom lip hard enough for you to physically wince. your eyes squeeze shut and tears prick your eyes.

“shit- sorry… fuck— no i’m not. you look so pretty like that.”

her kisses continue down your neck,

“’wanna make you cry today-,” she sighs into your neck, thinking of all the ways she’s gonna make you feel good tonight. one hand travels from your hip up to your neck, the other dips its fingers in your underwear. she forces you to look at her as she inserts two fingers inside of you, her thumb rubbing slow circles into your clit.

“gonna make you sob while i make it fit.”

her fingers crook up inside of you, rubbing against your gummy walls. you’re so wet that you can hear squelching as she fucks her fingers inside of you. she inserts a third as soon as she feels you relax,

“you’re gonna take it all for me today, right princess?” she presses a kiss to your lips when you nod in response,

“you wanna make me happy don’t you?”

and its almost as if your body is molding to her every will. your neck bares for her, almost presenting yourself for her. you do want to make her happy. your brain wills for you to do everything in your power to make her happy right now. your brain was so cloudy and—

“poor baby. it’s okay,” bada grins, she loved when you were like this. it made her feel useful. powerful.

your legs instinctively spread more for her and she inserts a fourth finger. tears well up in your eyes and bada kisses them as they fall,

“don’t want you to hurt too bad baby.”

once she thinks you're stretched enough, pulls her sweats down just enough to accompany her cock, she guides it into your cunt, groaning as she pushes in. your eyes begin to close but she taps you on your cheek to grab your attention,

"look at me while i stretch you out, angel."

your brows furrow together as you do your best to keep your eyes open as you take her, inch by inch. as soon as she's finished pushing into you, she gives you a sloppy kiss on the lips,

"i'm gonna make you feel so fucking good baby, just relax for me."

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

it started out so soft. so caring. after round 3, bada stopped caring. stopped being so soft.

“’fuckin— shit— fuckin take it baby. like a good girl would.”

bada’s got her arm wrapped so tightly around your neck your ears are nearly ringing.

the first round she fucked you on the counter, whispering how nice you felt around her. round two was in the hallway, against the wall. she held you up with your legs wrapped around her and praised you on how good you were being. round three was on the bed, plush blankets surrounding you while your hair was splayed around you like a halo. she told you how proud of you she was, how it was just gonna be a little more.

now she’s impatient. the only thought in her brain was to breed you, make you hers. fuck you full of her cum. ruin you for other people.

after the last round she’d flipped you so that your stomach was against the bed. she’d pulled your hips up to meet her own but you’d made the mistake of clawing the sheets, almost like you were trying to run away.

bada didn’t like that.

she wraped her arm around your neck and yanked you up against her. your arms couldnt find purchase anywhere other than gripping her forearm. tears were streaming down your face. you felt so fucking full. cum was leaking out of you with every thrust.

“’s too much baby— please.”

bada kisses your temple in response,

“jus’ a little more.” bada groans out, “you’re so fucking ungrateful. maybe a knot would shut you the fuck up—” and bada’s eyes roll to the back of her head at the thought of it. she needed to so fucking bad. she kept cumming and cumming but felt no relief. she needed to knot you, she needed to plug you full just for her.

“you’re gonna look so pretty, angel. covered in my cum. wish i could take a picture and post it for everyone to see.”

bada’s hips stutter as she feels you clench around her. she swears she feels the beginning of a knot form.

“’m gonna cum in you again. ‘should cum on you this time. make you reek of me.”

bada releases you from her hold in favor of pressing you back into the mattress, muffling your yelps and moans.

“bet you’d like that. being covered in my spunk. at the end of the day, you’re my pretty, pretty, cum hungry whore. god—”

bada grasps at your hips, grinding her cock into you. your hands grip the sheets above you as you feel her knot catch at your opening. she fucks deeper into you,

“bet you wanna hang off my knot everyday. get fucked and bred morning and night.”

she leans down and intertwines your fingers with her own. her lips graze your ear as she whispers,

“i’d do it for you, too.”

and at this point, shes stuck inside of you, ready to burst. her brain is like mush as she keeps trying to get friction by grinding into you,

“id fuck you all day if i could. force myself into this pretty little pussy from the time i wake up until i’ve fucked you back to sleep. could spend hours in this cunt.”

her teeth graze the juncture between your neck and shoulder. a warning. a threat. a promise.

“wanna get you pregnant— fuck you full of my babies.”

bada can feel the beginnings of her orgasm begin, pleasure licking up her spine.

“i want it, bada. i’d do anything for you. anything to make you happy. please fuck me full. get me— ah fuck— get me pregnant. please bada please—”

bada’s eyes roll and her body tenses up as please wracks through her veins. her vision blurs and her hands grip yours so hard its starting to hurt. shes letting out airy whines and the occassional grunt as she empties herself inside of you. her head spins and she tries to ground herself by pressing kisses along your shoulder but, god, she feels like shes fucking floating.

you, on the other hand, felt like you were going to burst. you felt every spurt of cum inside of you. she was just pumping you full of her seed and it made you feel… good. warm. fuzzy. you could feel her big frame surround you as she nearly sobbed into your neck as she busts inside of you.

eventually, her hips stop stuttering and her cries turn into sniffles. her body relaxes into yours and her once stiff hands mold into your own, the grip significantly softer this time.

a couple minutes pass as you both relax a bit. bada speaks up,

“you okay, angel?” her thumb glides across your knuckles. her lips press soft kisses against the back of your neck.

“mhm… you’re heavy though.”

bada chuckles and removes her hands from yours. she peels herself up and repositions you two so that you’re both laying on your sides.

“i should chose a more… uhm.. comfortable position to.. uh..”

you roll your eyes. she cannot be serious right now.

“are you fucking stuttering right now.”

“no! no— i. i am not stuttering i’m just…” she trails off, embarrassed. she shoves her face into your neck,

“can i please catch a break? i just came like four times baby PLEASE—”

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

a/n: thank you for your patience with me while i was gone!! im back and with gp!bada nonetheless... please please please give me feedback on this. i've never fully written gp! so do let me know if you liked, disliked, etc! thank you 🫶🏽 missed you all fr 🌟

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #bada lee smut #bada x reader #smut #swf 2 #swf2

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hazashiovo · 2 months

Note

hii i was wondering if it was possible if you could do a korra x earthbender fem reader who is lin’s daughter?? thank you so much!! 🫶🫶

Ooo ,yes ofc <3

The best view

"Stop staring." You words cut the thick silence in the room.

"I'm sorry,I just never expected Beifong to have a kid." She crosses her arms, looking you up and down. You scoff anoyed at her rude staring. "So? It doesn't mean I'm a painting so you can stare at me." You roll your eyes."Like mother like daughter." She mumbles,loud enough for you to hear her.

"I could never be like my mother." Her eyes follow you figure as you walk towards her. The girl then continues,"How come you're not in uniform?"her gaze eyes you up and down. "I'm not a police officer." You speak, making eye contact with her. "I just thought that if she had a kid, she would want you to work with her or something." She tilts her head looking at you. "She did,It was me who didn't want to."you slump down on the couch.

"I saw you bend,and I think you're pretty strong." Her body remains standing. "My bending is not the problem." You leave out a small smile at her compliment.

"Then what is it?" Before you could say anything, Lin enters the room. "Chief," your gaze follows Lin's.

"I have a matter to discuss with the two of you." Lin's gaze moves from you to the girl.

"I mean,that's the whole point why you got me here.* The dark haired girl shrugs,sitting down on the couch.

"(Name) ,I want to introduce you to Korra,the avatar." You look at the girl with furrowed brows. "She's...the avatar?" You tilt your head,how could she be the avatar? She looks fine or whatever,but you imagined her to be something... different?

"Of course I'm the avatar! Who else would it be?" She chuckles at your confused expression,Lin continues. "Yes,and you will show her around Republic city,and make sure nothing happens to her." Lin commands, staying strong in her uniform, a fierce look on her face (like usual dare I say).

Your brows remain furrowed, "Why would you trust me with this task?" Your arms now crossed, suspicious of her trust in you.

"The two of you are close to age,and since you're my daughter,I trust you make sure nothing happens to Korra." Her words take you by surprise,you nod, smiling you nod. "Nothing will happen to the Avatar in my presence,I promise." You feel so proud,she finally has something important for you to do.

"I don't need protection,I'm the avatar? remember?" Korra crosses her arms.

"And I'm the Chief in this town ,and if you want to walk freely in my town you will do so with my daughters protection." Lin narrows her eyes at Korra.

"I am more than capable of taking care of myself!" Her defiant nature amuses you.

"if you wish to remain in Republic City you will obey my rules. End of story." Your mother slams her hand on the table, clearly done with the girl's comments.

"Fine! Whatever." Korra ends up leaving the room, allowing you and your mother to be alone.

"This girl..." She sighs,sitting down on the couch facing the one you're on.

"Working with her will be a challenge." You joke, earning another sigh from your mother.

"You're a big girl,I know you're capable or I would have assigned you for her." You smile at her (sort of?) compliment.

"I'll do my best." Earns a nod from Lin.

You warmed up to her rather quickly,and the other way around. Turns out she's a pleasant company to be around.

For the next few weeks you spend time with Korra,even getting to know her better, sharing a few things about yourself.

Besides the fact that she's a little cocky (a little more) Korra is a great person to be around.

"So tell me! how was it being raised by Beifong? Is she always like that? Did she want you to take after her?" You smile at her curiosity, "Sometimes, but as a child she never implied I become a soldier,like her" the memories bringing a nice warmth in your chest.

"My mother would sometimes take me outside of Republic City, we would hike for hours to get to the most breath taking view I could see as a child." Korra watches your expression, she must admit,you're very pretty.She finds herself staring at you quite often,but she can't figure out why you're so captivating.

Once you lock eyes with her she forgets anything she wanted to say before,just staring at your face.

"Republic city is boring,I know a place you would like." You smile,taking her hand in yours, passing by many streets.

She looks at you confused as you tell her to hold on.

The earth beneath your feet started rising up,until you decided it was enough.

You started walking deeper and higher to a place only you knew.

"Where are we going (Name)?" She speaks between chuckles.

"You'll see,just trust me." You look back at her ,winking.

Her face is slightly warm to touch,Korra follows after you,passing by trees and going higher up a hill.

If she wasn't so busy watching your body instead of the place you were leading her too she would have noticed the view already.

"Were here!" Your voice brings her back,gaze moving away from your body ,now focusing on her surroundings.

Hands still entangled you stop , letting go of her hand. Her eyes fall on her now empty hand, slightly disappointed.

"Korra,look." She follows your voice, gaze falling on the breath taking view in front of her.

Your hand takes hers,leading her next to you on the grass.

"It's beautiful,isn't it?" She looks at you, analyzing your face ,reading its expressions like it's an open book for her to learn from.

"It is." Your eyes meet,locked on each other. Your hands entangled on the grass, the looks shared between the two of you speak like no words ever could.

She leans in,one hand now cups your cheek,her skin is so soft..

"Korra I..." You struggle to find the right words,mind clouded by the thought of her and only her. Fortunately there is no need for words,not now.

Her eyes scan your face for any kind of resistance,any kind of hesitance,but there's none in sight.

Her lips crash into yours in a soft ,loving kiss.

Korra's hands are cuping your cheek, while yours are around her waist. Fingers gently rubbing the material on her skin.

The kiss lasts a few seconds,but it feels like time stopped.

You move away from Korra's lips, smiling while looking at her bright blue eyes.

"I just kissed Beifong's daughter." You laugh softly at her words,placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"The avatar kissed me." You grin,noticing her proud smile.

"And I'd do it again."

Took me a little to search for a plot ,but here it is. Hope you like it ;).

Depending on the attention this fic is getting,maybe I will make a part two.

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double--blind · 6 months

Text

(SPOILERS) breaking down how obsessed Andrew is w/his sister bc he's a repressed lil liar and I'm going insane

This post got longer than I intended it to

1. He claims they don't spend enough time apart from each other to even begin missing her so he doesn't even know if he would, but just earlier in the game he was apart from her for probs like 30 mins tops to investigates some cultists and guess what???? He was already missing her 😒

2. Says "I thought you grew out of this touchy-feely crap" when Ashley asks for a hug, but earlier when he was cooking dinner, he was the one with the inexplicable urge to "pull this broody bitch into [his] arms and force her to stay until she smiles" 😒

3. Piggy-backing off the last screenshot: WHAT OTHER THOUGHTS, ANDREW??? yOU WERE JUST THINKING ABT HUGGING HER. WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. THESE ARE SIMPLY INNOCENT BROTHERLY THOUGHTS ARE THEY NOT????? 🤨🤨🤨

4. Bro just can't keep his hands off her. And everyone thinks Ashley's the clingy one jeez (lol the way he springs apart from her when Mom catches them is definitely definitelyyyy not worth analyzing. nope. not even when it happens a second time on the couch. nope. nooope)

5. What. What is he thinking here. Don't think I don't see those grey lil blush lines. Is this connected to my third point somehow bc like... 🤨😬 Is "Andrew" is gonna start doing and being what "Andy" was too spineless and afraid of doing?? That's what the vow was partly abt right?? Does that include—

5. WHEWWW BOY that little flashback with his gf has so much baggage in it I just wanna dissect. His girlfriend's tryna have a serious discussion with him abt his weird sister for the sake of bettering their relationship bc she genuinely loves him, but he just gets caught up in fondly talking abt said weird sister instead??

6. He's awfully hesitant abt Ashley learning some independence, bc y'know what?? I think he doesn't really want her to stop relying on him. But what do I know y'know

6. Wants his gf to put tie her hair up in a ponytail, then when she refuses bc he'll pull on it, says it's just "how boys express their love". Well. You know who else puts there hair up in a ponytail??? You know who else's hair he's always pulling on and touching???

7. The voicemails in his gf's phone left by Ashley are heard by him in his dreams, and his dreams are a construction of his mind utilizing his memories, personal hangups, and knowledge of Ashley. The voicemails irl were left on his gf's phone, and for all we know, he never actually listened to them in person. Bearing this in mind... odds are the things Ashley's saying contain bits of truths he believes within himself, filtered thru her crude, hateful dialogue.

Here. I transcribed one of them...

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to… It's not you he seeks out. It is me."

8. Claims Ashley's the one with the jealous streak, not him, but I think he's just as bad. The only difference is that Ashley's never given him reason to act on it since all she's ever wanted was him, but at the slightest mention of her gettin it on w/someone else, even as a joke, he gets mad. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!" he says, when she's jokingly contemplating getting knocked up via the neighbor so an ambulance would come for her. "I wouldn't let them," he says, when she's complaining abt not being pretty enough for the wardens to bang her

9. Going hand-in-hand with that fact, he's intensely protective of her. Didn't hesitate to cleaver the warden who found her in the closet (probs didn't even BLINK lmaooo he chose VIOLENCE), and when the cake-stealing cultist insulted her just once, he stepped forward just like that

10. In their apt, when they were lying on the floor talking abt jumping off the balcony, he was really caught up in the "romantic" fantasy of them committing a double suicide and dying with their bodies entwined so irreparably by the impact they form one unified corpse "never to be separated!" and they get buried in the same coffin together. UM??? Bro fr thought he was the sane one of the two. That wasn't even true before the cannibalism and demon summoning 😭😭😭

BONUS:

11. This might just be me, but his reaction to seeing the post-sex vision doesn't strike me as someone who's inherently opposed to the idea. Instead of disgusted, he was... flustered?? He acted like she walked in mid-guilty pleasure wet dream. This wasn't a "GROSS THATS INCEST" reaction which is... the most normal reaction to have. That's the face of a man that got CAUGHT bro.

He asks "we're not like that, are we?" and "why are you like this?" and questions the veracity of the vision, but he never actually explicitly denies wanting the vision to happen, more focused on Ashley and her reaction. He buries the elephant under the rug as fast as he can, bc yeah, it struck a landmine, but it probably wasn't a landmine for the reason Ashley thinks it is. I bet the vision just hit a little too close... :P

#the coffin of andy and leyley #coffincest #andrew x ashley #tcoaal #txt post #character analysis #andrew graves #bro is MESSED UP and I'm only scratching the surface #half of this post is analyzing his gf and I'm not even done man I didn't even mention how Julia is both a foil for Ashley and a lookalike #he both chose a girl completely different from her (mfer's compensating) and someone who reminds him of her

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literaila · 8 months

Note

Ok it's headcanon time what do you think Peter's reaction would be when him and his friend who've been bffs for years and are very comfortable with physical touch suddenly starts to pull away from him cause she saw him flirting with another girl at thier college mixer and so she starts to pull away from his physical touches cause she feel like she should finally be able to move on from him and start her college life without pining after him all the time and slowly peter starts noticing that she always give him affection when he needs it on his tough days but refuses his touch even when he remotely comes near her

🌌

just so you know

tasm!peter x fem!reader

a/n: sorry this took ages, i forgot how to write (there was a more perfect gif but tumblr hates me)

“what’s going on?”

you look up again, meeting uncertain eyes with a fake sense of amusement. you know what you’re doing, and so does peter.

“what?” you tease, running your hand over plastic price tags and years of dust, staring down at ceramic mugs and tiny scentless candles.

peter puts his hand on your back, walking with you, and as a subtle and graceful friend, you quickly move away from him, pretending to kneel down and look at a set of plates.

“that. this—this thing that your doing.” peter points to you like it’s a physical entity. some thing you’re holding just to hurt him. a handful of tricks.

“looking at cat mugs?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

“avoiding me. pretending like you haven’t been evading every question i’ve asked.”

you frown, but don’t look up. you finger a curved handle, swallow and let the lies slip from your mouth without any effort. if you’ve been distant from peter recently, it’s nothing but an accident. a practiced maneuver. “i’m not avoiding you.”

“you haven’t looked at me all day.”

“i’m looking at you right now, peter.” and so you do.

peter smiles, laughs a bit, his chest rising and falling, but it’s frustrated. he runs a hand through his hair, shakes his head. and then he bends down and wraps his hand around your arm, pulling you up before you get the chance to stop him.

and you would stop him, you know, if he hadn’t already pointed out that you’ve been doing it all day. for at least the past week.

his touch burns, like a singe on your already red wounds. and even though he’s smiling at you, being as gentle as peter always is, you can see your tension, can feel your own hesitation in his skin.

“did i hurt you, or something?” he asks, biting the inside of his cheek. “i know we—well, we’re not um, that hesitant with being close, touching and stuff, but if i did something accidentally—“

“you haven’t hurt me, peter.”

“okay… then what’s going on? do you need to discuss boundaries with me?”

“what?” you laugh.

“i’m not trying to make you uncomfortable,” peter says, softly, like you’re some breakable thing. “i just want to make sure that you—that we’re okay.”

“of course we’re okay, peter.”

and then, that’s not quite true.

when you look into peters eyes, it’s not an auburn storm that you see. it’s not even yourself being reflected in his irises.

it’s flashing lights and music that made your head pound. there’s sticky floors and too many people—so much air, and too much breathing in such a small room. you see people laughing and singing, hands and bodies intertwined like it would hurt to be apart.

and it’s all sort of beautiful and disturbing, all sort of a lot—but then, there’s familiar hands, running up an unfamiliar body. peter had asked you to dance, but you knew it was only so he could laugh because he knew that you couldn’t.

when you look into peters eyes you see her. and there’s such a strong fire ignited in your chest, such a vehement jealousy that you have to look away.

you have to physically pull yourself away from him just so you don’t feel like that. just so you can tell yourself that it’s not fair.

“we’re fine,” you repeat, softly, and you look away from him. turn away, so you can block yourself away from his all too knowing stare.

you don’t pull away from his hands, but god do you want to. you want to take a break from him, a break from all of this until you can promise yourself that you just don’t care.

that you don’t crave his side stepping and hand holding and resting your head on his shoulder or leaning against his chest. that isn’t fair.

you clear your throat; you can’t lie to him, and it’s not like peter is going to let you. “it’s just…” you start, stepping towards him and then away. “i don’t know if lindsay would be comfortable with it.”

peters face flinched, he tilts his head at you. “lindsay?”

“i don’t want to get in the way of anything…”

“get in the way of what?”

you meet his eyes and laugh. “c’mon, peter. you’re not as discreet as you think you are. there was that night at the club and then the “study” dates you’ve been going on.”

“that wasn’t anything—“ peter is quick to get out, but you shove his shoulder, pretending your laughter isn’t painful.

“save it, loverboy. if you want to hold someone’s hand,” you tease, “it should be your girlfriends. i was surprised you even asked me to come gift hunting today.”

peter swallows. “she’s not my girlfriend.”

you nod, turning away from him. “yeah, okay.”

“i’m serious. we’ve been working on a project for bio-chem, that’s all.”

“i’m not blind, peter.”

he walks when you do, leaning his head down until he can see your face. ��don’t you think i’d tell you if started dating someone and it was serious?”

“um, no, not really. we don’t ever talk about that stuff.”

“yeah, because you get weird whenever i bring it up.”

“i don’t get weird—“ you say, turning to glare at him. he’s closer than you expected though so whatever you were about to say falls into the air. it blows away with the feel of peters breath on your cheek.

“i would tell you,” he says, “if i had a girlfriend.”

you lean away from him, taking a deep breath in. “okay, peter. but the point still stands. you shouldn’t be holding hands with me while you’ve got a girl who’s waiting for you to get your head out of your ass. or stop lying. whatever.”

“i don’t want to hold her hand.”

peters voice is soft, and his hand is gentle as it lands on your waist. he pulls you to him, like he’s sure that you’re going to run away.

“well now i know why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

peter chuckles, staring down at you with burning eyes. and this time, when you look at him, you see only a secret catching fire. “i don’t have a girlfriend because i want to hold your hand,” he whispers, a finger brushing up against your jaw.

“o-oh.”

you stare at him, unsure what else to say.

what other announcements need to be made, what other proclamations you should probably get in writing.

peter smiles again, wider. he lets go of you and turns so his shoulder is to you. and then he grabs your hand.

“just so you know,” he says, smirk far too much.

just so you know.

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seulszn · 2 months

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Listen I love TLOU and the fandom very much but a lot of people (not calling anybody out) need a reality check and need to grow up. I wanna say my two cents on things that bother me in this fandom.

1. Boycotting for Palestine

I have seen multiple times on multiple occasions where people would sit on their phone and complain about why writers are “flooding the tags with this boycotting bullshit” and honestly all I have to say is your super childish you can’t take a hour or a week out of your day to raise awareness on a important topic that is affecting millions of people? Your so horny so down bad for pixelated characters that you don’t care about the innocent children, women and men that are dying in Palestine? The boycotting isn’t gonna stop just because you want your needs filled, the boycotting isn’t going to stop because you think it needs to, it’s not gonna stop until Palestine is free. And if you wanna read things that bad then read nobody is stoping you but a take into ignition that if a writer is spreading awareness then don’t be ignorant and say stupid shit

2. Less Sex and more angst or other genres.

Listen I love Abby and Ellie just like everyone else and I read a lot of smut about them but does that all y’all see when y’all look at them? As sex objects? Like I’m not saying that you should stop writing smut for those characters but write other things to that don’t involve smut, like angst I see a lot of people under that tag say how they wish writers would as write other things that isn’t just smut and majority of the time when they say that they get hated for it. It lowkey gets boring reading fanfics where the whole plot is smut, smut, smut. And again I’m not saying to stop writing smut but please for the love of whatever you believe in write other genres.

3. Black inclusivity

As a black writer and a black person TLOU tag isn’t inclusive enough. I know you must be thinking “Why are we speaking about this again?” Because I’m honestly so tired of how uninclusive the fandom is like I said before Ellie dates WOC if you don’t know what WOC is it’s Women Of Color all of Ellie’s girlfriends where WOC now I’m not saying you can’t write for Ellie as a white person and I’m not saying that never did all I am saying is once again all of Ellie’s girlfriend where POC

Riley was a Black African American who Dated Ellie

Cat the girl who wasn’t mentioned alot but is in the game is Asian American who also dated Ellie

Dina is a Jewish (Mexican, Middle Eastern ) American who dated Ellie

Also yes we know when the reader is white coded so don’t try a put that you don’t mention when race mentioned cause you do and we can tell when you do “She’s Petite and cute with her long blonde hair” or whatever you bitches be saying we know when you guys aren’t inclusive the whole point of fanfiction writing is to be inclusive is to make sure that readers can see themself in your xreader so if your putting all these “white things and then labeling your story as “the readers race is not mentioned” or that OC stuff that y’all do then just label the story as a white reader or a OC reader

4. Futa, trans and masc

Now here I’m gonna discuss two or three things starting off with Futa and Trans. Now I don’t know when “Futa” or “Trans” Ellie and Abby came from but a lot of you readers need to understand and learn the difference between the two because they are both very different things.

Futanari: is the Japanese word for hermaphroditism, which is also used in a broader sense for androgyny. Beyond Japan, the term has come to be used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of eroge, manga, and anime, which includes characters that show primary sexual characteristics from both females and males. In today's language, it refers almost exclusively to characters who have an overall feminine body, but have both female and male primary genitalia (although a scrotum is not always present, while breasts, a penis, and a vulva are). The term is also often abbreviated as futa(s), which is also used as a generalized term for the works themselves.

Transgender (often shortened to trans) is someone whose gender identity differs from that typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual. Transgender is also an umbrella term; in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may also include people who are non-binary or genderqueer. Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. The term may also include cross-dressers or drag kings and drag queens in some contexts. The term transgender does not have a universally accepted definition, including among researchers.

Mind you I am not transgender I am nonbinary but I see a lot of transgender people speak up about how offensive it is to write a character as Transgender but it’s not really transgender but a Futanari remember a Futa is a character who is assigned a gender at birth but just has extra sexual parts like a penis.

Now another thing that bothers me is how y’all Masculinize Masc Lesbians as if they still aren’t women themselves like every time I read a fanfic with Ellie or Abby or even Vi and Sevika from Arcane you guys like to ignore they fact that they are also women themselves like it’s not gonna kill you to give those characters feminine compliments there shouldn’t be a reason why your calling these women “handsome” or other Masculine compliments and also a lot of Masculine women where makeup it’s not just a feminine woman thing. Masc Lesbians are women they aren’t men so stop treating them as if they are men and ignoring the fact that they are women

5. the Innocent childish reader gotta stop.

They title says enough I don’t think I need to say too much but a lot of y’all get innocent and corruption mixed up but a corruption kink is When you find the idea of "corrupting" someone, mostly in a sexual way, like taking virginities or introducing people to stuff like bdsm etc. It's the idea of having someone "pure" do "bad" things under your influence. And innocent is not corrupted or tainted with evil or unpleasant emotion; sinless; pure. not guilty of a particular crime; blameless. (From the dictionary)

Y’all need to understand yes not everyone knows what sex is but everyone knows what a vagina is what a penis is, what a orgasm is and what sex is but they may not knows what happens when you have sex so making the reader what y’all call innocent isn’t innocent it’s honestly to me perverted cause the only one who would say something like “my cunny feels weird 🥺” or that “what is sex 🥺” is a child. Children don’t know what sex is children don’t know what pleasure or orgasms is and when y’all say “the reader is a Bimbo” is also funny cause Bimbos know what sex is as well yes they may be stupid but they aren’t slow so before you make a innocent reader please think “am I making my reader act like a child or am I gonna make her really innocent like how regular grown ass adults act?” so don't get not knowing and "innocent" mixed up

6. The stories where they have sex inside a church also gotta stop

Now I’m not a Christian but these stories are honestly really bad and are Blasphemy a lot of people have come out and said that they don’t like the fact that people are writing stories about church in a sexual way like their shouldn’t be any reason why your characters are fucking inside a church, that’s like stomping on someone’s dead grave. You guys do shit like this and then wonder why Christian’s don’t like us. Religion isn’t something to be sexualized it’s not something to be playing with either this idc how much you hate Christianity you can be a Atheist, or Catholic or Jewish but please for the love of whatever you believe in don’t sexualize people’s religion.

That’s all I can think of at the moment if I think of more I’ll of course make a part two to this but don’t take anything I said here to heart it’s just my blunt honest opinion on things in this fandom and if I get hate for this 🤷🏾‍♀️

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planete777 · 3 months

Text

꒰ BABY BOY .:. LN4 ꒱

(lando norris x fem!reader)

IN WHICH. y/n knows how to treat her boy; lando loves it all.

WARNINGS. 18+, MINORS DNI!, sub!lando x softdom!reader, unprotected p in v, riding, bondage, use of blindfold, choking, slight dumbification, lactation kink, pre-consented overstimulation, praise kink, lando just gets treated right!!!

NOTE. reverse reverse!! guess who's domming this time 🙈 after my friend said that lando looked like someone i would dom (fact), i've been planning on writing something pretty self indulgent like this. and after the whole discussion about his boob/lactation kink... yh i'm going wild!! im a tad bit sick rn so it might not be as good as usual, butttt i hope you enjoy it 🤭

credit to @bangssefi for the dividers.

‧₊˚✩彡 taglist @laciijane @ferrarrigirl @norrizzandpia @mimi-luvzyu @multifandomwhore-003 @nzygftoji (use askbox if you'd like to be added!)

"you okay, baby?"

y/n shifts to settle her hips just mildly off lando's crotch. she sees how his fingers twitch, writhing to rest on her waist, yet they've got a smooth red ribbon cascading and meandering upon the soft skin, binding both hands to the head board.

he whimpers, lip caught between his teeth, but nods. the cloth around his eyes slide up, minutely, and a gentle hand pulls it back down again.

"that's good," y/n smiles, although lando's blind to it, "you remember what we talked about?"

lando takes a while to reply, breaths in rapid succession, "yeah."

y/n wishes he can see her, but all she can do is let her touch bleed enough reassurance into his flushed skin, cupping his cheek, "baby, you're good, i promise... unless you want us to stop."

"no! please i— i'm just really horny. keep going i'm begging you," lando's words leave in an almost-sob, hands finding their way to clench around each other and his legs bending upwards. his girlfriend soothes him again, hot body gluing to his own and pillowy lips pushing into the skin of his forehead. he doesn't realise how much he needed it, his body untangling every tense knot embedded in his muscles, and he's relaxing into the sheets.

"ready, baby?"

lando replies with a whorish mixture of a moan and whine, hearing the dull snap of his girlfriend's bra clasp being unhooked. his mouth puddles with saliva, toes curling as his hands begin to tremble. his brain feels chopped to pieces and blended, giving him some sort of a hazy euphoria.

"open your mouth, lan'," there's a warm hand gently, but firmly, gripping his chin, and he's dropping his jaw, tongue stuck out like a slab of meat.

y/n's pushing the tit into his mouth and fuck, he has to clench his fists to not cum right there and then. it's so warm and heavy, his tongue coming to flick at the swollen nipple, and y/n's moaning so thickly, lando's cock plumps up even more than he thought it could.

"good boy," she sighs, eyes closed in veiling pleasure, "look at you, lando."

she's hitting right where it sends him crazy, it's pulling out a dirty whine, mouth sloppily moving against her nipple and then she's squeezing her breast.

the milk is so sweet, and so good, lando doesn't think he could get through it without crying. he's lapping messily, some of it trickling down his chin, and y/n wishes she could paint the picture behind her eyelids forever.

"fuck, you're so beautiful, baby boy, you're making me feel so good," her mouth just tumbles away, barely thinking as the pleasure seeps down to her weeping pussy, and the unexpected endearment has lando moaning loudly, mouth falling open, making the milk drip into the crease of his neck.

"y/n, please, fuck me," his voice is strained and broken, like it's been completely char grilled, and his girlfriend moves downwards to lick her tongue into his mouth. it's a rather soft, heated makeout, y/n licking, and biting and soothing as she goes. her breasts are welding into his chest, leaking milk into his skin and the sheet, and he feels so filthily good.

a hand grips his cock, tight and assertive, and he's choking and bucking his hips, whimpering at the sweet relief that washes from the pleasure.

"oh fuckkk."

his legs are quivering, his fingers dig half moons into his palms and his vision is so dark and concealing that every touch feels like a thousand zaps of electricity. y/n's strokes, just teasingly, and his legs are shaking, mouth slack open and unyielding.

there's no warning when y/n sits upright and drags her cunt over his dick like a tight, hot, plush cock ring. she's groaning and clenching when lando let's out a sound he's never heard from himself before. it's a scream borderline wail, and he's so fucking close to cumming, he tried to think of something else to flatten the knot.

"y/n, shit, you feel so good," his eyes are watering, catching the cloth around his head, and he's drooling before he's even property fucked.

his girlfriend grinds, caressing his face with a touch as light as feather, "so do you, baby boy. making me feel so so good, i love you."

his heart is swelling, and he's going to return the endearment when there's a slam of hips against his own and he's gasping, eyes flying open behind the blindfold. there's a litany of sounds that escape him, he can't even place what they are, but they all melt into sobs and moans as y/n's hips speed up.

his arms are so strained, he can barely feel them, and all he can is the repeating weighted drop of of his girlfriend, the slick grinds of her pussy against his crotch and the suffocating grip of her cunt around his cock, milking it for all it has.

"god, lando, your cock," she sounds so gone and slutted out, he's speechless, "you're so amazing for me."

the praise is too much. she's unrelenting with it all, the words, the riding, the love, that he's cumminh with no warning, spurting hot stickiness deep into her pussy.

"fuck fuck fuck, y-y/n— oh shit!"

there's a visceral tremble through his flesh, and he's so sensitive everywhere, he must be on fire. but y/n's not stopping.

her hips are eager and hungry on his cock, and after a while, lando stops bucking up his hips to meet her thrusts because he's tingly all round and all he can do is cry.

"you can give me one more, baby, can't you?"

he hears it, trust he does, but his throat feels grated, and he has no control over his brain. it's all milky and cloudy up there, and as his girlfriend continues to hop on his cock, the more hazy everything becomes.

he fucking loves it.

"can't speak baby boy?"

it's slighting taunting, but endeared nonetheless. she slows down, palms raking his chest, pulling at his nipples and then she's pressing a hand into his throat and squeezing.

they'd discussed it before, agreed that they'd both like to try it out with boundaries set, but fucking hell, lando never expected it to feel this good. his eyes are rolling behind his head and he's nodding, high pitched moans being pulled from his throat.

and then she's moving again, bouncing and slapping her hips, and what can lando do but indulge and let her? his cock is so hard again, it's nearly painful, and his face is so wet and clammy with tears.

"come on, baby, cum for me," y/n's moaning out, another hand flicking at his nipple as her fingers press further into his neck.

it's not on his own accord that he's cumming, semen dribbling pathetically into the plush walls, and he's feeling y/n tighten around him.

she's about to cum, but instead of feeling the warm wetness trickle down his dick, y/n is telling him to open his mouth, and a half-assed aim of milk sprays onto his face, narrowly missing his mouth.

he licks at whatever he gets, face wet and so fucking ruined, before she's properly cumming, body tense and juices flowing.

"yes, baby, just like that— hmm."

she's riding it out before stopping, leaning forward to press kisses into his wet skin.

"how are you feeling, baby?"

there's no words to describe it. he just says whatever comes to mind.

"i wanna see you, please."

there's a soft laugh, "i'm taking that as a 'i feel fucking great'."

lando grins at that, tiredly, as he nods, just as fingers nimbly untie the cloth around him. he blinks, acclimatising his vision, before seeing y/n, fucked out and glorious, before him.

"you're so beautiful, y/n," he sighs, watching as y/n leans forward, tits in his face, to detangle the silk around his wrists. his visions zeroes in on them, and pushes forward to give each one a kiss.

"that's all you, baby boy," she's sitting upright again, and he immediately wraps his hands around her waist, "all you."

#‧₊˚✩彡 planete.writes: ln4 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris fic #lando norris smut #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #f1 fic #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #formula 1

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yuna542 · 2 months

Text

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 23<-

Part 24

Pairing: (Channie at the beginning) Hyunjin & Lee Know x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Under 18 DNI! Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Threesome, Blackmailing, Petnames, explicit sexual content, deepthroating, oral (f + m receiving), public sex

Word Count: 9.2k

Note: Guess who‘s back for now. My life changed a lot during the last months and sadly I don’t have that much tine for writing anymore, even though I really want to. But somehow I managed to write another Part! Thank you to everyone who‘s still reading this story. Lmk what you think in the comments. Stay tuned 💛

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

When you woke up on the black couch in the backstage area, you firstly stretched to drive the tiredness from your limbs with an audible groan.

"Welcome back," you heard Changbin say and only then did you realize that your head had been resting on his lap. He stroked your hair out of your face with a smile as you pulled the blanket, which smelled familiar like home, towards you.

"How long have I been asleep?" you asked, trying to clear your head again. But tiredness kept pulling you back into a stupor, so you cuddled back into his lap.

Changbin leaned back and suddenly you saw the whole staff already walking around in the backstage. Stylists, stage technicians and make-up artists. They were all scurrying around Jeongin, Hyunjin and Felix who were were made up. Seungmin was being wired up and Han was discussing something with the sound technician.

"You were gone for almost three hours."

Stunned, you straightened up. The blanket, which you now recognized as Chan's hoodie, fell off your shoulders.

"Where's Chan?" you asked directly.

After rehearsals, you had laid down on the couch together and fallen asleep in a tight embrace. Every member of staff who had passed by had seen you bury your face against his chest and him wrapping his arms tightly around your body. Finally, Felix had carefully woken Chan up because he had to start putting on his outfit. Completely baffled, you stared at your cell phone, which showed that the concert was only 30 minutes away.

"You needed the sleep. We didn't want to wake you up," Changbin said and winked at you.

Chan finally came back into the room. He was wearing his stage outfit and it looked incredibly good. The white top was cut out at the side so that you could see his toned stomach. When he saw that you were awake, he smiled and waved as he was already being shooed towards the mirrors.

When you saw who started doing his hair there, you bit your tongue hard. Mina talked to him animatedly, taking more time than necessary as she applied hairspray to his hair, but Chan seemed distant. He replied in monosyllables, his smile polite but professional. It was strange and you couldn't stop looking in his direction as you worked through your messages on your iPad.

Finally, you rolled your eyes as she leaned forward emphatically so Chan could barely see anywhere else but the exaggerated neckline of her dress. She clung to him like a far too pink piece of chewing gum and although Chan had made it clear to you last night that he only wanted you, it stung your chest. When Chan saw your look in the mirror, he cleared his throat and held the blonde's wrist as she tried to apply a pinkish color to his lips.

"I think Lee Know and Han need your help"

Confused, she looked to the other side of the room where Jisung almost poked his eye out with the kayal as Lino kept shoving him and laughing at him.

"But I'm not finished with your..."

"That's all right. Y/N can finish it. Right?" he asked over his shoulder and when your eyes met, you realized how uncomfortable Chan was. You nodded quickly and stood up to go to him. Mina's face turned as red as a tomato as she stared at you and as she looked at Chan and the smile he gave you, she put her make-up down on the table in front of the mirror.

"Sure. I can do it."

Chan's eyes lit up at the sound of your voice and when Mina nodded and mumbled a meek "Alright...", you had to suppress a triumphant grin.

While she was still putting her things away, you picked up the brush and leaned over to Chan to pick up where Mina had left off. But Chan put a hand on your hip and, to your surprise, pulled you onto his lap in front of Mina, leaving you staring at him wide-eyed.

"It's more comfortable this way," he dismissed, his hands firmly on your hips as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Mina's nostrils quivered and she looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

Chan had made it abundantly clear what he wanted, without saying a word. She hurried away and when she was out of earshot, you whispered:

"What are you doing? Everyone can see us!"

Chan leaned back, circled his thumbs over your thighs and closed his eyes, relaxed.

"So what? The staff know we're good friends.“

Stunned, you grinned and began to spread the colour on his lips.

"Friends...", you murmured with a cheeky smile.

In fact, most of the staff were unimpressed. Only some of them gave you furtive glances, but they were so busy that hardly anyone looked at you for more than a few seconds. While you concentrated on his make-up, Chan enjoyed your body against his and slipped his thumbs under the skirt of your dress. You gave him a warning glance, but he didn't seem to care in the slightest that there were other strangers in the room.

Although you were still sore in all the right places from last night, you were automatically filled with desire when you felt his strong hands firmly on your bare skin. Chan also became more restless, trying to get a little more under your dress, pinching your thighs and looking at you hungrily, as if he wanted to eat you up at any moment.

"I want you..."

"What?" you asked, unable to believe how brazen Chan was. He had thrown all caution overboard.

"I want to fuck you. Now..." he whispered in your ear and his lips brushed against your neck. Panting, you looked around, but no one in the room was paying any attention to you.

"Channie..." you hissed, barely able to push him away as he began to kiss your neck. Your hands tightened around the powder and brush in your hands. His hands traveled up your sides until they brushed your breasts.

"Channie... We're not alone."

"I don't care. I want everyone to know. They can't tell anyone else anyway."

That was true. All the staff had signed a NDA that protected the idols' privacy. They were not allowed to talk about anything that happened backstage or what they saw. It was to protect the idols and make them feel comfortable and relaxed, even if there were staff scurrying around. Overwhelmed, you tried to control your breathing and the heat in your veins as Chan continued to lavish feather-light kisses on your neck. He was wild, demanding and it took your breath away.

"You have to go on stage in a minute," you whispered, barely able to pay attention to whether anyone was watching you.

"It won't take long... Let's get out of here quickly..."

You really wanted to say yes, but reason made you hesitate. And with one look into his blazing eyes, your resistance collapsed. He also looked outrageously handsome in his stage outfit, in your defence.

But then the door suddenly opened and Felix jumped up from the couch as a group of people came into the room.

Panicked, you jumped off Chan's lap as his and Felix's family suddenly stood in the middle of the room. Hannah immediately grinned as she saw you trying to straighten your dress. Felix, meanwhile, was hugging his parents and sister, while Chan strolled casually to his parents and then hugged them too.

You grabbed your neck uneasily and it felt like his parents could only guess what you had done with a glance. But when you finally bowed, Chan's mother grabbed your arms instead and pulled you into a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you again, darling. You left so early this morning," she said and you hesitantly returned the hug.

"Yes, we had a lot to do," you smiled nervously and Mr Bang gave you a curt nod.

You chatted for a while and Chan put his hand on your lower back, which no one seemed to question. It was nice to see his family and Felix's parents were just as friendly as their son was.

Chan accompanied his parents to the staff who took them to their seats and Felix took advantage of this to take your hand and introduce you to his family.

But you didn't have much time left and shortly afterwards the Lee family were also taken to their seats.

Felix squeezed your hands and looked excited and yet the Aussies seemed more stressed today than ever before.

It was only two days later when you sank to the floor, panting, and looked up questioningly at Lee Know and Hyunjin. Hyunjin looked at the screen of his cell phone, Minho next to him, and they both watched what felt like the hundredth video you had shot today. Hours ago, you had already begun to regret accepting Hyunjin's offer to help you with your first dance cover. You finally had the time and energy to pursue your own passion and the dance leader and main dancer of Stray Kids immediately offered to help.

You started to work out a choreography together and recorded it directly on video in the dance studio.

However, the boys were perfectionists and worked in the professional manner in which they produced their own videos. Finally, after several attempts and recordings, after tons of sweat and pain, Hyunjin finally nodded and Lino also smiled with satisfaction while the last recording was playing on his cell phone.

"It turned out perfectly," said Hyunjin.

"The performance turned out hot and strong. That suits you well. You’re moving so smooth…“

You smiled with relief and drank the last of your water bottle. While your legs trembled with exertion, the dancers looked like they were on their way to a photo shoot for a sports magazine. Hyunjin's tank top was washed out, revealing sections of his well-trained upper body. Lee Know wore a black shirt that was so tight around his chest and upper arms that you could see every contraction of his muscles. Glancing at the clock, you sighed loudly. You had arrived at the gym at 12 noon and now it was 9pm. A normal day for the idols, but not at all for you. But it had been fun. Despite everything, they had been gentler and more affectionate with you than you were used to from them during practice.

"I love seeing you dance," Lino said, while focused on the recording, moving slightly to the music and it sounded sincere. Your heart skipped a beat and you smiled. Such a compliment from one of the best dancers in the industry was amazing.

"So that's why you put me in this dance studio all day?" you asked with amusement.

"I can barely feel my legs," you sighed and tried to push yourself off the floor and stand up again.

Before you could really stand upright, you suddenly felt Lino's strong arms wrapped around your stomach and you lifted off the ground. Giggling, you let yourself be carried to the couch where he let himself fall backwards so that you landed between his legs.

"You did a really great job... you really have idol potential," he said and began to massage your tense shoulders behind you. You immediately gasped out loud and leaned against his touch. He was damn skillful with his hands and a fire immediately ignited where he touched your bare skin.

"No, I'm nowhere near that far... You do this every day and I can't move after just a few hours..." you laughed softly and a whimper escaped you as he worked on a tense muscle.

This made Hyunjin look up and put the cell phone back down on the tripod. With a grin, he joined you and sat down on the floor between your legs, where he cupped your trembling thigh with his hands. You inhaled a rattling breath. Lee Know's hands massaging your back, his body heat right next to yours and now Hyunjin starting to massage your aching legs.

"You're already better than any of us at this social media thing... Your Insta account is growing every day," Hyunjin agreed, focusing on your trembling muscles.

"Well it's actually fun... I've even had a few requests... Ouch!" you gasped when Hyunjin caught a sensitive spot.

"That's normal. It'll get better soon. We'll take care of it..." he said, and the way he smiled at you made your heart skip a beat. Hyunjin's long fingers worked over every millimeter of your bare legs and you could hardly think straight.

"I like the shorts on you... Everyone will go crazy for you when they see the video," Hyunjin said and you let out a gasp as Lino pushed the straps of your sports bra off your shoulders to get better access to your back. His fingers worked wonders and apart from the muscle tension they released, heat began to ripple through your body and a familiar throbbing sensation was felt between your legs.

Lino growled softly and his fingers worked their way to your ribs.

"You're going to get tons of thirsty messages... I'm already finding it hard to hold back watching you... And that outfit..."

You sucked in a sharp breath as his hands traveled down your sides and squeezed your hips. You were only wearing a normal sports bra and black shorts. Something loose and you liked the way the shorts showed off your long legs. But what you liked even more were the looks from the boys who had been glancing at you intently all day. Even though they tried to hide it, to be respectful and not intrusive, you couldn't help but notice Hyunjin's intense stares, as well as Lee Know's suggestive comments and smirks when he gave you a hand, touched your hips or stroked your butt. But it didn't feel intrusive at all when they looked at you like that. Quite the opposite. They also looked at you like that when you were sweaty, without make-up or wearing oversized hoodies and sweatpants. You still didn't know why or what they saw in you, but it felt good to be desired.

Hyunjin kneaded your calves and the further he worked his way forward, the more restless you became.

But you closed your eyes and tried to relax and endure the intense touch of the two most attractive men you had ever met without paying any attention to the heat between your legs.

"Is that ok?" Hyunjin asked softly and when you opened your eyes and looked into his chocolate eyes, you were speechless. Part of his black hair was tied back at the back of his head, while the rest framed his face. His head between your legs, his hands firmly on your thighs, made you nod breathlessly. He was breathtakingly beautiful.

"What? I can't hear you kitten!" whispered Lee Know, his hot breath brushing your neck.

"Yes! Yes that's good... Feels good."

Satisfied, he grinned and before you could realize it, you felt his lips against your shoulder. He began to spread feather-light kisses over your heated skin and you feared you would faint when you saw Hyunjin looking at your body like that. Greedily, as if he had to restrain himself from pulling you towards him immediately.

"Lino..." you breathlessly escaped as he moved a hand to your throat and you automatically tilted your head back to give him more room. He sucked on every sensitive spot, sinking his teeth into your neck until you fell against his chest and your eyelids fluttered with arousal.

Hyunjin's fingers kept moving upwards until they were working your legs just a hand's width from your now wet core.

You were so turned on that you could hardly think straight.

Another whimper escaped you as the two exchanged a meaningful look, full of hunger, and Lino began to knead your breasts through the thin fabric of your bra. "Lino... Please..." you barely managed to utter, your head already in the clouds and you couldn't believe how much your body was responding to them.

Lee Know's big hands squeezed your breasts and you could feel his grin against your neck as he elicited more and more of those desperate noises.

"We're just taking care of you... It's all good. That's what good dance teachers do," Hyunjin murmured, lightly pinching your inner thigh, eliciting a sensual sound very similar to a moan. You gasped loudly as Lee Know gripped the flesh of your breasts tightly, while you were trying to squeeze your legs together so Hyunjin wouldn't notice how wet you already were.

Your panties and shorts were probably already soaked but he reacted faster, grabbing your knees and holding them further apart.

"You don't have to hide from me, princess," he cooed and his hands were right back at your core, massaging just a little next to where you wanted to feel him. Your mind tried to remind you where you were and what you were doing here.

"We're at work... If anyone comes in," you tried, sighing between them as Lee Know kissed your jawline.

"There's no one here this late except us... and even if there was..." he muttered and gave Hyunjin a meaningful grin, which he returned.

You tried to straighten up a bit, ignoring the large hands all over your body, and felt Lino's long, hard length pressed against your back.

"You want to get caught, don't you? Is that why you wanted to help? Did you plan this?" you asked, your voice thin and breathless.

Hyunjin smirked, pressed a kiss to your inner thigh and looked up at you innocently.

"We just wanted to help you... You're just too much of a temptation..."

Lee Know's hand moved to your hip and he rubbed his center lightly against yours so that all you could think about was his massive dick pressed against your ass.

"You've been paying a lot more attention to Chan and the younger ones lately.... We want some time with you too, angel."

Lino nodded and brushed his soft lips up your neck. You could only watch, overwhelmed, and felt Lee Know slip his hand under your sports bra.

For a moment, a clear thought made it through the fog of desire and you pushed Hyunjin quite a bit away from you. With his head between your legs, his lips on your skin, you couldn't form a clear sentence.

He looked at you questioningly.

"Is that the only reason you wanted to make the video today?" you asked, looking at him scrutinizingly. His mouth opened, a damned seductive red appeared on his cheeks and he didn't even have to try to lie.

You could already read the answer in his uncertain smile.

"Jinnie... You planned this with Lee Know?"

He cleared his throat while Minho just snorted.

"No way. I didn't know anything about it."

Hyunjin stroked both hands up your thighs, and his apologetic smirk immediately wrapped you around his finger. Still, you tried to look serious. He could do whatever he wanted with that face, those hands. He could have called you an object and even with the full knowledge that he would throw you away like garbage when he had what he wanted, you would give him all he wanted and more and still thank him afterwards.

But your pride made you hide your thoughts.

"I wanted to help you, really! But you don't know what you're doing to me. When you dance... I can't think straight," he murmured, his voice raspy as he looked at your body.

It wasn't fair what power he had over you.

"Our little Jinnie is pretty desperate, huh?" Minho asked with amusement as he rested his chin on your shoulder and listened.

"Are you mad?" Hyunjin asked, looking so worried that you had to put on a serious face with all your might. His hair framed his face and you could hardly think of a word other than artwork to describe it.

You looked down at him, put your foot on his shoulder and pushed him away from you. If you didn't get an Oscar for that performance, you didn't know what real acting was.

"So you're just using me... Maybe as punishment I should just let you watch while Minho and I have fun."

The panic that entered his eyes was surprisingly refreshing.

Immediately, he inhaled in panic.

"- Please, please angel... I swear, I'm so sorry... Please, I need you..." he begged, still on his knees, your lips trembling with excitement. You could hardly hide how hot you thought Hyunjin was. Begging, desperate for your body.

The man who was so beautiful that he could lure any woman or man into his bed was begging for your attention. Minho watched the whole thing with a wry grin.

He loved your submissive nature, but this was interesting too.

"Just apologizing to get in my pants, as usual. If you're good..."

You took your foot off his chest and he immediately slid back between your legs, kissing your inner thighs, caressing them and you let out a soft sigh as the arousal threatened to suffocate you. By now you knew how much he loved your thighs and legs. He was crazy about it. His thoughts were constantly revolving around how you sqished him with your thighs, he won't mind. Heck, he wants you to do that so bad.

He's always poking them or patting them. He loves when you wear thigh high socks so he can see the material squeeze against your skin. He likes to nip and suck bruises on them, almost as if marking you as his. He can't help slapping them or holding on tight all the time.

"If you don't want to, we'll stop right now..." Lino whispered in your ear and his warm fingers dug roughly into your bare chest, causing you to shake your head in panic. Hyunjin suddenly touched your cunt with his fingers and you almost moaned out loud, but he looked at you questioningly, only then did you realize that they were waiting for an answer from you. They wanted reassurance that this was what you really wanted.

"Don't stop! Please...", you said and they both exchanged a satisfied look. Then Lino unclasped your bra and it fell carelessly to the floor.

Your gaze briefly fell on your reflection in the mirror, you half-naked between Lee Know's strong thighs, Hyunjin between your legs. You thought you were dreaming. There was no other explanation. Then your eyes met Lino's in the mirror and the lust in his eyes made you tremble. Hyunjin, on the other hand, began to massage your clit through the fabric with two fingers and a moan escaped you immediately, causing Lino to freeze behind you.

The faster Hyunjin's fingers went, the more you lost touch with reality.

"She's so wet, hyung... Even through the shorts..." Hyunjin said, and you wanted to tear the last bit of fabric from your body so that he could finally stuff you with his long fingers.

"Fuck... You're crazy..." you gasped, rolling your hips willingly against Hyunjin's hand.

"Let me take these off," he mumbled and Lino immediately helped him by lifting you up by your hips. He pulled your shorts and red panties right off and threw them to the side. You immediately got goose bumps. You could see your reflection in the mirror. Completely naked, between the two clothed men, exposed and defenceless. Nevertheless, you felt at ease and when Hyunjin looked at you as if he had found a new painting in an exhibition that inspired him, your heart almost jumped out of your chest. You would never get used to them looking at you like that. "cmon princess," he says, looking at you from below, eyes sparkling with the delight of seeing you in such a position - breasts bared, eyes blurry, mind dizzy, eyes avoiding to meet with his dark ones that gave you weakness on the knees because of how beautiful he's looking at you right now.

Hyunjin's fingers were between your legs again as you watched him, running through your folds and collecting the wetness. Lino watched, kissing your neck and holding your breasts as if he never wanted to let them go.

"Oh God!"

You gasped as Hyunjin's tongue suddenly pressed against your clit.

"He's not going to help you now," Lee Know whispered in your ear and a wicked grin spread across his face. He could feel every twitch and excitement of your body. The sight of his younger member engrossed between your legs aroused him like he had never imagined. Chan had often talked about how he liked the idea of sharing you between them, but he hadn't expected to like it that much himself. Your eyes rolled back and while Hyunjin started to eat you out, as if he was about to starve to death, Lee Know put a hand on your neck and slowly squeezed, tearing you away from reality. Then you heard him say:

"Look at him... Barely responsive, addicted to your pussy. You know, Jinnie's been talking for days about how much he'd love to choke between your legs."

You instantly felt hot and when Hyunjin raised his eyes and gave Minho a warning look, your arousal shone on his plush lips.

"Hyung!" he warned and it was obvious that Minho was having a lot of fun spilling his dirty secrets.

"Really?" you asked, a little surprised.

So they were talking about you and the sex with you after all. That made your cheeks glow and you immediately wanted to know more about the secret fantasies they seemed to have about you, but you didn't dare.

Minho kissed your neck, running his hands over your stomach and smirked as he looked at Hyunjin.

"Yeah... He gets off with the thought of you sitting on his face."

"Hyung, what the hell!"

Hyunjin's face got more red every second, just like yours, and he looked caught, but you just looked at him curiously.

"Is that true?" you asked cautiously and he gripped your thigh a little tighter.

"I was thinking about it, yes..."

From the way he bit his lip, looked at you furtively and the way Minho giggled, you knew he wasn't just thinking about it.

Without further ado, you stood up and were watched by both of them as you pushed Hyunjin by the shoulder onto the floor. The idea of his face between your thighs gave you a pleasant shiver.

He let you push him onto his back until you were kneeling over him. He watched in disbelief as you placed your knees to the right and left of his head, your cunt right in front of his face and he thought he had landed in heaven.

"Are you sure?" you asked, but he just chuckled, kissing your inner thighs, looking at your face still in a way that could make you cum without even fucking his mouth. You didn’t want to hurt him because you knew how much you wanted to do it - how much you would break and use his mouth without thinking about anything else.

"You'd better thank me, Jinnie..." said Lino, who was sitting on the couch and watching everything closely.

There was now a tent in his sweatpants and he kept running his hand over it as he watched you.

"Is that okay?" you asked as you looked down at him. He looked beautiful, gazing up at you with his chocolate eyes. He could hardly get enough of the sight of you.

"Please yes!"

He grabbed your thighs and pulled you down onto his face. Even as you tried to brace yourself a little so as not to weigh him down, he pushed you down harder until your entire weight was resting on him.

As his tongue greedily licked right through your folds, you let out a pornographic moan that made Minho clench his teeth. Hyunjin began to eat you out and seemed even greedier than before. Your whole body tingled as Hyunjin continued to penetrate your hole with his tongue. You wouldn't last long, that was obvious.

His hands dug into the flesh of your thighs and pressed you vehemently against his face.

The knot in your stomach was about to burst and as he sucked on your clit, you reached into his hair to grind your pussy against his face. As your body took on a life of its own and as you rolled your hips against his face, Minho let out a gasp from the couch.

"Fuck... Better than any porn..."

Hyunjin immediately let out a deep grumble and began to palm his rock-hard cock through his sweatpants.

Being watched by Lino was a whole new experience but you liked it. It made your blood boil and Hyunjin was sure, he would loose his mind soon. Your smell, the taste on his tongue, the way your body felt under his fingers and the desperate noises that echoed in the dance studio were beguiling for him. Your hands on his hair to pull and hold to stay still as you beg for more - close to the edge yet your face is full of heat.

"Fuck... fuck... Jinnie please I can't..." you blubbered incoherently and as your head fell back and you squinted, you suddenly felt a hand on your neck squeezing hard, turning your head so that you had to look up at Minho, who had gotten up and was now standing next to you, his pants pulled down and his cock heavy in his hand. He palmed himself and his eyes burned with lust.

"Don't you dare close your eyes! Don't look at him. Look at me, kitten! I want to see you come on Jinnie's face, do you understand?"

Breathless and with trembling eyelids, you nodded. The eye contact with Minho was intense and made you climax even faster. It was as if he could see everything. Your deepest secrets and you pulled on Hyunjin's hair as he licked deeper and deeper into your core.

"Min... I... I can't take it anymore..." you whimpered, hearing only the wet sounds of Hyunjin hitting the perfect spot with his tongue every time, feeling his fingernails in your thighs and your whole body seemed about to explode as you rode his face.

Minho tilted his head a little, looked at you closely and you could clearly see how horny he was. His tip was red, his hand was constantly sliding up and down his shaft.

"It's all right. You can come. Cream his face, kitten."

With those words, the knot in your stomach snapped and the orgasm exploded all the way to your fingertips. You moaned a mixture of the two dancers' names and Hyunjin gasped as you came all over his face. He continued to suck on your clit until you saw stars and your high was savored to the extreme. Only then did Minho let go of your neck. With rattling breaths, you tried to calm yourself down, barely able to form a word.

But Hyunjin did not stop. He immediately penetrated you again with his tongue. As if addicted and without control, he pressed you further against his face, playing with your overstimulated pussy until you whimpered and grinded against his face again. It felt too good to stop, even though your legs were already shaking.

"Open up for me, kitten!"

Everything was a blur and when you felt Minho's tip on your lip, you didn't hesitate and opened your mouth immediately. He slid his entire length into your mouth and your pink lips wrapped around his shaft, making him curse.

"So pretty... So good for us. Our little whore. Suck my dick slut!", he gasped, caught up in the frenzy of arousal and passion. You immediately started to move your head and took him so deep that he bumped into your throat and you gagged.

Then he grabbed your hair and began to thrust into your mouth incessantly while Hyunjin continued to work your pussy. You didn't know where you were anymore and your body was burning like fire, but you never wanted to feel anything else again.

Minho kept cursing as he ruthlessly abused your face and fucked your throat, and Hyunjin didn't stop until the tears ran down your cheeks and you clung to Minho's legs, overwhelmed. The sounds they tickled out of you were unholy, sinful, beautiful.

But both of them also felt the next orgasm before you realized it. Hyunjin's nose bumped against your clit and just as your body tensed, Minho pulled you off his dick and held your head by the hair so you could look him straight in the eye again. Thighs trembled around his head as he pulled another cry from you with his greedy tongue. The sight was enough to make you cum hard on his tongue, squirting all over his face.

Hyunjin licked up everything he could. He tried to catch every last drop of your sweet release, but some managed to drip down his chin and cheeks as he swallowed what fell into his mouth. He gave your pussy a few gentle licks before he let you go.

"Holy shit..." was the only thing you could say as you sank to the floor next to Hyunjin.

"Was that good, Princess?" asked Hyunjin, wiping his face clean with his tank top. You just nodded, looking at him stunned, and grabbed his face to pull him towards you, pressing your lips to his chaotically. You could still taste yourself on him and he immediately pulled you closer by the hips to return the kiss stormily.

"I'm getting impatient..." Minho said and knelt down next to you while you two made out like teenagers in heat. With wide eyes, you looked at him and then at his massive length in his hand. Your body reacted immediately and your pussy pulsated excitedly.

He leaned towards you, grabbed your face, kissed you, slipped his tongue into your mouth and grabbed your ass, which he kneaded hard before his other hand moved between your legs and penetrated you with a finger up to his knuckles. You moaned into his mouth and your tongues played rough with each other. Hyunjin grabbed your breasts, twirling your nipple between his fingers and sucking on your neck as he grinded his hard length against your ass. being squeezed between the two of them, in the middle of the dance studio, was overwhelming. You moaned Minho's name softly as he curled his finger inside you.

"I need this pussy wrapped so tight around my cock-" He groaned thinking of the sensation of your dripping cunt, milking his cock. When Minho briefly detached himself from you and pressed his forehead against yours, he said:

"Turn around!. Now!"

Your heart immediately started beating louder and you turned around to look Hyunjin in the eye again. Then Minho impatiently pushed you onto all fours and you could already feel his tip at your entrance.

Hyunjin knelt in front of you and pulled down his pants to massage his dick. He could barely stand it. He was so hard it hurt and there was already a wet spot on his pants from his precum.

Minho looked at you intensely, your ass in the air and he was sure he would never get enough. He loved your soft curves, spanked you a few times, which made you whimper loudly. He loved making your ass perk up as he railed you. He spanked you a few times until your ass was red then gently rubbed it to soothe you.

You only became painfully aware of how impatient he really was when he thrusted into you from behind without warning. The ticked-off scream that escaped you died in your throat as he grabbed your hips with both hands and, after pulling out, thrusted hard again so that the slapping of skin on skin echoed through the studio. You starred as he began to take you hard from behind and the whimpers and moans only spurred him on. Hyunjin grumbled, overwhelmed. The sight was unbelievable. You desperate, your body between them, completely defenceless and Lino watched as he sank faster and faster deep inside you. "f-fuck, Lino. your dick feels so good inside of me," you managed to speak, despite your stuttering from his hard thrusts. "yeah? you like that?" He responded to you before grabbing a fist full of your hair and tugging on it, causing your neck to snap back a little as he continued to fuck you, making you look directly at Hyunjin.

"Look at him! Show him how good I fuck you."

"Fuck... too big... Lino," you bubbled in between as he threatened to tear you apart. Meanwhile, Hyunjin fucked his hand and knelt right in front of you.

"Come on, be good and help Jinnie a little," Lee Know growled, gripping your hair tighter and pushing your head towards Hyunjin's throbbing dick. You immediately opened your mouth so he could slide between your lips and the moans Hyunjin let out were mesmerizing. With each thrust, he pushed you harder onto his dick until he was thrusting deep into your throat with every movement from Minho. You squinted your eyes as tears ran down your cheeks and Hyunjin's gasps and moans were accompanied by the naughty sounds of your wet pussy being abused by Lee Know as he sank harder into you with each hip thrust and your entire body seemed to burn. "Such a naughty little slut. Letting us fuck your holes at work..." Hyunjin gasped, rolling his hips against your face and enjoying the gurgling sound. One hand landed in your hair where he guided your head along his shaft. Lee Know gripped your ass so tightly that his fingerprints would be visible for days.

"You love it that rough, don't you? Getting fucked until you cry," Lino growled, and your body went wild, tensed with arousal as he hit just the right spots with his massive dick deep inside you. Hyunjin couldn't stop staring at your reflection in the mirror, where he saw everything clearly. How Lino fucked into your sore pussy, how you took his own dick deep until it hit your throat and how your breasts jiggled with every thrust. "Fuck you are our little slut. Letting us use your body..."

Your mouth around his dick, the desperate sounds and the sight of Lee Know thrusting into you without mercy did the rest for Hyunjin and you could feel how much the sight turned him on. Your butt cheeks slamming against Lino's thighs, balls hitting your clit from behind and his hands tangled in your hair as he came with a loud gasp and spurted his load into your mouth, trying to burn the sight into his memory forever. You greedily swallowed it all and sucked on his tip until nothing came out. He pulled his dick out of your mouth and pulled up his sweatpants, panting. Overwhelmed, he stroked your cheek with his thumb. There was sweat glistening on his face and through the mirror you saw that there was also sweat on Lino's forehead. They hadn't even been this exhausted when dancing.

Minho's thrusts were starting to become sloppy, indicating that he was coming close to his high. you could feel his cock start to pulsate inside of you as your walls tightened around him even more. "Lino, I'm so close. oh my god, don't stop. Your dick is so big. Fuck me harder.", it escaped you and those words were already enough to make Lino cum right then and there. he'd bruise your ass with slaps and squeezes, marking your waist as he tugs you to meet his ruthless thrusts. you loved when they would use you for their own pleasure. Abusing your pussy like their own personal fuck toy. Just the thought made you pussy clench harder around his dick.

"Is that all?" you moaned provocatively as you felt how much he enjoyed dominating you and how close he was to cumming. Lino just laughed throatily and Hyunjin grinned, knowing that you were conjuring up a demon. "Keep being a brat, I'll fuck you senseless." He growled back, annoyed with your teasing behavior and giving a harsh slap to your ass. But that's exactly what you wanted. He fucked you even harder and cupped your neck from behind with his big hand. Without hesitation, he pressed your face to the floor so that he had complete control over your body. You feared losing consciousness as he thrust into you so deep and hard that you could feel him in every bone.

With a few final deep thrusts, his dick pulsed violently and you came so hard without warning that your pussy almost crushed him. With a gasp, he came inside you and sank into you a few more times, savoring your high until the very last second. Only then did he let go of your neck and pulled you up against him, breathing heavily. You knelt together on the floor and he struggled to breathe as he buried his face against your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your stomach. Hyunjin brushed your hair out of your face and when your eyes met, you smiled warmly. "Thank you," he said and lifted your chin with one finger before his plush lips lingered on yours and he kissed you intensely. Satisfied and your body flooded with warmth, you buried your hands in his hair and returned the sensual kiss. Lino pressed a kiss to your shoulders and when you regained your senses a few minutes later and got dressed again, Lino hugged you tightly from behind while Hyunjin packed up his cell phone and your things.

"Babe?" he murmured and you snuggled into his arms.

"What is it?" you asked, turning around in his embrace so you could look at him. His eyes glittered with energy and his hazel hair fell down his forehead. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?" he asked softly and his concern touched you deeply. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck. "I'm fine." He scrutinized you to make sure you were telling the truth, which made you smile. "Really!" you assured him. Not like all the other girls in his life so far, you didn't annoy him, let him come back to you instead, and he loved the feeling of chasing you, of always needing to prove that he was the only one to fuck you like that. He wanted, no needed to prove himself to you. Over and over again. He had no idea what that feeling was but he liked it. As well as he liked the way you looked at him. With so much adoration. Sharing you with his members made him even more happy, than he ever could have expected.

Lino was so much more sensitive and loving than he could admit to himself. You loved this side of him and it made you feel safe. Finally, he seemed to believe you and nodded.

"Alright, let's go home and I'll cook something delicious."

Pleased, Hyunjin came over to you. "That sounds like a good plan! Let's go then."

Lee Know gave you his sweater, which you gratefully pulled over your sports bra. When you had finished tidying up and switched off the light, you breathed a sigh of relief. It always felt good to be able to go home together.

You snuggled into Lee Know's sweater, smelling the collar and rolling your eyes when Hyunjin caught you doing it and raised his eyebrows. Lee Know kept glancing at you and couldn't stop grinning mischievously, and Hyunjin smirked quietly to himself as well.

What you did was indecent, beyond all the rules. Naughty and definitely unacceptable. And that's exactly what got your adrenaline pumping. It was the first time since Australia that you were with two of the members at the same time and you liked it. "Imagine someone had come in."

Lee Know said at the door and Hyunjin snorted. That seemed to be a fantasy of his and you playfully elbowed him in the side. "Then I'd be fired"

"You can still become an idol." he dismissed it and Hyunjin laughed. "Or influencer."

Just as you were about to say something back, Il-Deung came around the corner. You hadn't expected him so late. All three of you fell silent and you could see the boys' expressions change. They stared at him, transfixed. He was on his way straight to the dance studio you had been to. If only he had arrived a few minutes earlier...

"Good, you're still here!" he said, clutching the iPad in his hands.

"What's going on? I was just about to get off work," you asked and you could literally feel Lee Know rolling his eyes and Hyunjin looking disgusted.

"I have something important to discuss with you! If you have a few more minutes... You look very exhausted, what were you doing in the studio so late?" he asked, once again being too curious.

"Working out..." Hyunjin replied quickly and Lee Know couldn't help but grin. The smell of sex clung to you and it was obvious how annoyed Il-Deung was to catch you together again.

"So?" he asked emphatically.

"You can tell me quickly now, can't you?" you asked, but he just shook his head.

"I need to talk to you in private!"

Hyunjin frowned in surprise, but before either of them could say anything to make the situation even stranger, you said:

"It's okay! Go ahead, I'll catch up with you. I have to get something from my office anyway."

They both agreed and you pushed past Il-Deung, who followed you. You left the door open while you gathered your Ipad, the notepad with the numbers of the organizers of the next fan meeting and a few of the files with the stage designs. Meanwhile, Il-Deung stood in the doorway a little puzzled, obviously a little offended that you didn't offer him a seat. But you had no interest in this taking any longer. Il-Deung was pushy, unpleasant and, in your opinion, had far too much power. When he made no move to speak, you looked up from your desk and tilted your head a little.

"So. What's up?" you asked, and a message lit up on your cell phone. As you read it, he began:

"It's about your relationship with the members and the media attention on it."

You suppressed a smile as you read the group chat where Lee Know announced that he was cooking his famous seafood pasta for everyone. Directly, Changbin asked what had caused him to be in such a good mood.

"I've already talked to Mrs. Chung about this. The attention and rumors are wanted by JYP."

"Yes... A certain amount of attention and rumors, as long as it doesn't go too far and become scandals."

You didn't take any of his words seriously, after all, you had one of the highest positions in JYP on your side with Mrs. Chung. But Il-Deung looked deadly serious, pushed his glasses up his nose and put his Ipad down in front of you, which made you look up from your phone, where Chan and Jeongin were trying to guess what had happened, which even made Lino send a star emoji.

"Listen! I don't know what kind of weird relationship you have with the members, but if it threatens the company, I can't just stand by and watch. Even if you're just the whore of them..."

You returned his piercing gaze in astonishment. His brow furrowed almost aggressively and his fingers dug into the table when you didn't seem to take him seriously. You were starting to get restless. Flabbergasted you asked:

"Excuse me?"

But his attitude had changed drastically. Somehow he was threatening now with a whole new self-confidence.

"Maybe you should be more careful to not upset anyone..."

He was threatening you without a flinch, and you couldn't believe the situation yet. Were you dreaming? It was ridiculous.

"What are you talking about?"

He switched on his Ipad and started clicking pictures and turning the screen towards you.

"Pictures like that don't leave much room for speculation..." he grumbled and you tried not to let on as he scrolled through the unimaginable amount of snaps that were secretly taken of you. A cold shiver ran through you and your mouth went dry. There was a picture from Australia. You, Felix, Han on the street. Laughing, Han's arm wrapped tightly around your waist and you and Felix holding hands. There were clear red marks on your neck and reddish marks on Han's neck too. Everyone who wasn’t blind knew that these were hickeys. The next pics showed you on the beach from above. You sandwiched between them in the water. Felix hands all over your tits, Han kissing you. The next picture was taken in one of the hallways of the JYP building, where Changbin had his arms tightly wrapped around your stomach, his hands on your but and you were laughing and talking to each other with shining eyes. Another picture backstage in Japan. You could only see silhouettes. It was blurry and too far away, but you knew without a doubt that Han was kissing you on the picture before the performance. The next one made you gasp in disbelief. It wasn't very clear either. You recognized a car door. A tarnished window. Behind it, you could dimly make out two people. You recognized your profile and Jeongin's. You were on his lap, he was kissing your neck and it was clear that you weren't just having a professional conversation about work, as you could see from your shoulders that you were both no longer wearing shirts. This had to have been done after the video shoot, when you fucked in the car.

"Where the hell are they from?", you exclaimed louder than intended. Satisfied to finally have your attention, Il-Deung leaned back in the chair in front of your desk. You jumped up and scrolled through the pictures in disbelief. Your hands were freezing cold and shaking more and more.

"Does it matter?" The calculating calmness in his voice made you angrier and angrier.

"Yes! Someone is stalking us and taking creepy fucking pictures..."

There was taken in Australia. It was very zoomed in and therefore a bit blurry but you could make out Chan's family home. Chan and you were standing on the terrace in front of the white front door and he was brushing a strand of hair out of your face. Even if you had been there yourself, it was surreal to see the pictures from a third perspective. In the next picture, he was kissing you, his hands firmly on your waist and you pressed tightly against his chest. In the next picture, his family was also at the door and a cab was on the street. Chan's mother had lovingly taken your hands in hers and was talking to you. Whoever had taken the photo had been somewhere on the other side of the road. Maybe in a car... You had always been careful, always made sure that no one saw you and yet you weren't careful enough. By now you felt so sick that you had to sit down. There were so many pictures in so many private situations. The fact that someone had been watching you the whole time was scary.

"You work for a Kpop band! Paparazzi photos are normal."

Slowly, you couldn't stay calm anymore. Pointing your finger at his stalking pictures, you blurted out: "Those aren't paparazzi pictures! Someone has been to places where normal people don't have access!"

The asshole actually smiled.

"So you admit that's you in the pictures?"

Your heart pounded in your ears and you fell silent. He had you right where he wanted you. When you didn't say anything else, he leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table.

"I'm not interested in what you're doing with the members or what weird relationship you have... I just want to warn you."

His tone became dangerously calm. He looked at you like a snake, ready to snap.

"Warn me about what?" you asked, hating that he was so intimidating.

"That this could get public... That's not the case yet, but if you continue to be so careless. Ignoring me... being rude. Who knows."

Gradually, you began to realize. You shook your head in disbelief.

"If my uncle who's in the management of JYP finds out about this... He's the old type. For him, scandals are the worst thing that can happen to a company. You know what scandals like that do to idols, don't you? Not only do you lose your job. The band gets broken up... not immediately, of course. First they are all sent on an indefinite hiatus... Then at some point the public is informed that there are no more Straykids because the members have decided to go their separate ways. They will never get a contract again and all the years of training, hard work and career is gone. In the blink of an eye."

Stunned, you could only stare at the Ipad. You had given him a lot of credit of being an idiot, but this? That was a little too high up on the James Bond villain scale.

"What do you want?" was the only open question in the room. Empty and with a snorting heart, you watched as he stood up and came around the table until he was standing in front of you. He bent down to you until his face hovered in front of yours.

"I'm just worried about you. I wish you would surround yourself with your own kind. With people who value you and don't take advantage of you..."

He twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers and you wanted to throw up, you felt so sick by now.

He just wanted to demonstrate his power. He'd had you followed, secretly photographed and now he was blackmailing you.

"I want nothing but your loyalty and maybe we'll even get along."

Frozen, you returned his gaze. His closeness was suffocating. You could smell his expensive perfume, but it burned like gasoline in your nose.

"Think about it," he smiled disgustingly, pushed the strand of hair behind your ear and stroked his fingers down your neck before pulling away, taking his iPad and finally disappearing. It was only when the door slammed shut that you audibly gasped and buried your face in your hands. Despair began to eat away at you. You couldn't tell anyone about this. Chan would freak out and put his career on the line without thinking. You couldn't risk that.

So you tried not to let on. Even as you ate, chatted and laughed together back at them dorm, your worries wouldn't leave you alone. Even though you were safe in the dorm, it wouldn't let you sleep the whole night.

——————————————————————-

Taglist (closed):

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girlgenius1111 · 4 months

Text

i could change up my body and change up my face

arsenal x platonic young reader

warnings: this discusses an eating disorder. this is based off my experience; everyone's are different.

You thought you were doing the right thing. The healthy thing. You'd always been a more muscular player, and it hadn't really bothered you. Football players varied in size; it didn't mean anything for how good you were. You debuted for Arsenal at only 18, and people had a lot to say; most of it you could handle. The comments on your weight, on how if you were smaller, you'd be faster, better, were what caused the problems.

It spiraled quickly; one day you were skipping dessert, and the next you were skipping entire meals. It was hard to balance: eating enough that you didn't feel like you were going to pass out on the pitch, but not so much that you could barely look at yourself in the mirror. Evidently, it was harder than you thought. You only managed it a few weeks before people began to catch on that something was up.

Your teammates had noticed that your behavior was off recently. You were less talkative, and you saw everyone outside of training a lot less. A few of them had discussed it, and had decided to keep an eye on you, see if things got worse.

When you passed out during training, everyone thought you were joking. It had recently become a popular prank; you and Kyra pretending to be hurt, scaring everyone, before popping back up. It was a bit of a boy who cried wolf situation: when you went down, a few people glanced over, but thought you were kidding, especially because no one had been near you. It was a hot day, though, and you'd barely eaten. You were lightheaded before you got out on the pitch, but once training began it only got worse.

You managed to last through the first part of the scrimmage, before you had to stop, putting your hands on your knees and breathing hard. Black spots dotted out your vision, and the world spun gently around you. You though you heard Katie make a joke about you already being winded, but you were falling to the ground.

In fairness to your teammates, it only took about 10 seconds before they realized something was actually wrong. Katie and Lia watched you go down, and something about it just looked wrong; you crumpled too easily for it to have been on purpose. Swearing, they both rushed to your side, rolling you onto your back.

"Fuck. Medics!" Katie called, kneeling down beside you.

"Hey, y/n, can you hear me?" Lia called, lightly tapping your cheek. Your eyes were shut, and you were completely limp on the ground. At her prompting, though, you groaned, shifting slightly and opening your eyes. Both girls sighed in relief. You blinked up at them in confusion. Why were you on the ground? You tried to sit up, but both girls stopped you.

"No, stay here, we need to make sure everything's alright," Lia said, as the physios finally arrived. A small crowd had gathered around you and your cheeks flushed red at that realization. You'd messed up. No one was going to let it go that you'd passed out. None of your protective, caring, overbearing teammates would let it go until they knew why this had happened. And they couldn't know: if they knew, they'd make you stop.

That was really all you could think about: how possibly you were going to play this off. As they got you up, after you blatantly refused a stretcher, and walked you slowly into one of the medical rooms, your mind was flashing from excuse to excuse.

"What are you feeling?" John, the head physio, asked, once you'd settled on the exam table. He was looking at you carefully, as if he could see right through you; it was incredibly unnerving.

"Just a little dizzy, I don't think I drank enough water," you replied. John looked at you searchingly for a minute, before asking another question.

"Did you eat breakfast today?" he questioned, eyes not leaving yours. It was the way he asked; not what did you eat, but did you eat, that told you that you were caught. You knew they'd notice that you'd lost weight, you all had to do weigh ins to correctly meal plan. You just hadn't noticed a difference, and assumed there wasn't much of one. But the way that John was looking at you, it must have been more than you thought. Enough that they'd noted it, and enough that they seemed to know what they were dealing with.

"Yeah of course," you lied. He could tell.

"I'm gonna step out for a minute, alright?" With that, he headed out of the door, leaving you to stress in the room. You didn't know where he was going, and it terrified you that he could come back and blindside you with anything at any moment.

You heard voices in the hall, and prepared yourself for an onslaught of different physios, and maybe the club psychologist. You weren't really sure what your plan was, and you didn't have anytime to settle on one before the door was opening.

It wasn't John, or a different physio. Not the club psychologist either. It was Leah and Katie, both walking into the room with incredibly worried looks on their faces. Briefly, you thanked god that Kim was out; she had this specific look she gave, and whenever you got it from her, you told her whatever you had previously been trying to hide. The odds of being able to lie to Leah and Katie weren't great, but better than if Kim had been there too.

"Using me to slack of training, McCabe?" you tried to joke. Neither girl cracked a smile.

"We talked to John. Do you want to tell us what's going on?" Leah responded, ignoring your comment.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I just got dehydrated, I'm fine." Apparently, you'd decided to play dumb. A strategy you weren't so sure of as you tried to hold eye contact with Leah.

The blonde sighed, taking a seat in one of the chair in the room. Katie remained standing, arms crossed over her chest. You were expecting tough love; harsh words that told you to get your shit together. You weren't expecting Leah's voice to soften, for her to look at you like you were fragile.

"Y/n, we want to help you."

"I don't need help with anything," you insisted.

"Then why have you lost a significant amount of weight in the past 3 weeks? Why did you just pass out on the pitch? And why haven't we seen you at any team dinners recently?" Katie replied. Her expression was hard, but you knew it was masking her worry.

You didn't know what to respond to that, honestly. You'd been expecting them to tiptoe around the issue for a while, try to get you to admit to it. In the back of your mind, you wondered if maybe you weren't in trouble. Maybe what you'd done was wrong, was bad, but it didn't mean they were mad at you, like you'd expected.

"Listen kiddo, we know there's a problem. There isn't anything you can say that will make us think there isn't."

"I don't know what to tell you. There isn't anything going on. It's not on me if you guys are seeing things that aren't there," you replied, crossing your arms. Both girls sighed, and exchanged looks.

"Okay, y/n, if that's how you want to play it. If everything is fine, you can come over for dinner with me and Lia tonight." Leah told you.

"I can't-" you began.

"Be there at 6," she interrupted, her tone leaving absolutely no room for argument.

-----

You took a seat at the table, putting your hands underneath to hide how much they were shaking. You really didn't want to be here, but there was literally no way to get out of it. If you didn't show, you expected Leah, Lia, Katie, and probably half the team to show up to your house. You didn't want to draw anymore attention to the issue that you already had, so you just needed to get through this dinner, eat the food, and go home.

How hard could it be?

"We made your favorite," Leah told you, setting down a full plate in front of you.

"We?" Lia questioned, smirking at the other woman.

"Okay, Lia made your favorite, I sat nearby and kept morale up." You only weakly smiled in response, your attention still on the seemingly massive amount of food in front of you. If they noticed, they left it, taking seats on either side of you.

They kept the conversation going, with you contributing very little. Instead, you pushed the food around your plate, taking bites every so often. You weren't saying anything, forcing every bite down your throat. Lia and Leah watched you carefully, seeing the way every time you brought the fork to your mouth, you looked like you were in pain.

You could have done this meal normally. It was just that you'd had to eat lunch with the team after training, and the food in front of you was food that had practically haunted your nightmares in the last few weeks.

By the time you'd gotten halfway done with your plate, you were close to tears. The conversation had died out, and the older women were watching you as the fork shook in your hand.

"Y/n," Leah said softly, placing her hand over yours to stop it from trembling.

You let out a deep exhale, putting your face in your hands.

"I'm sorry," you said, voice muffled. You felt horrible. Truly, completely, horrible. All you could think about was the calories you'd consumed, and the fact that there was literally no way for you to deny this anymore. It was terrifying; the recognition from the others that you had a problem made it all the more real to you.

A hand was on your arm, pulling you away from the table. You went with it, standing and following Leah out of the kitchen. She led you to the couch, sitting down in the armchair across from you. Lia came in too, placing a glass of water on the table, before sitting down on the next to you. You were staring intently at the rug, following the pattern in it across the floor, instead of looking at either of the other people in the room.

"You don't need to apologize, y/n. You're not in trouble, and we're not mad at you." Leah stated cautiously. You remained quiet. "Can you tell me when this started?"

You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking for a minute.

"Neither of us are going to judge you for anything you tell us. And we aren't going to tell anyone what you say, as long as you let us get you help," Lia promised, and you found yourself looking up at her, blinking back tears. Her face was open, kind, and you felt yourself opening your mouth and beginning to talk.

"It's only been like a month."

"Did something happen that caused it?" Lia questioned.

“I'm not really even sure what happened. I know I shouldn't read comments on social media but I did and I couldn't stop and all of a sudden..." you trailed off.

Both girls sat in silence for a minute, clearly thinking hard about what they wanted to say.

"We'll talk to the club psychologist, and we'll get you in therapy. We'll get you better, and everything will be fine," Leah said, trying to project confidence. You knew she was just trying to help; outline a plan for you, let you know that there was a fix.

It wasn't that easy, though. The way she said it, like it was just a matter of going to therapy, and then it would be all better, made you inexplicably angry. Clearly, she didn't understand how hard this would be.

"It's not that fucking simple Leah," you said bitingly, and both girls looked at you in surprise.

"Y/n, I know it's not-"

"No, you can't just say that. List out 2 steps and make it seem like it'll be easy. It's going to be impossible, and I don't even want to-" you cut yourself off, jaw snapping shut.

"You don't even want to what, y/n?" Lia asked, eyebrows pinched in confusion.

"I don't want to stop. I don't think I can, I don't think I'm strong enough," you said, voice cracking over the last few words. Just as quickly as it had arrived, your anger had disappeared, leaving your eyes stinging with tears.

Before you knew what was happening, Leah was crossing the space in between you, sitting down on your other side, and pulling you into a bone crushing hug. The force of it knocked the air out of you slightly, leaving you to hold tightly to the stability that Leah brought.

"I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to make it sound like it would be easy; I know it won't be," she paused. "Alright, I don't know what it will be like, because I haven't gone through this, but I promise you, you are strong enough to get better.

"And you don't have to do it alone; we'll be here, whatever you need," Lia cut in from your other side, sounding earnest. They wanted to help, so badly. It shouldn't have surprised you, how much they cared, but it did. It always did.

-----

Lia had told the truth. Every member of the team, even if they didn't know exactly what was going on, helped you in some way.

Leah and Lia had you over for dinner most nights; their support was silent, but there all the same. They didn't make a big deal of it if you finished your meal, or if you didn't. They trusted that you were trying.

Katie took your phone one day, wordlessly grabbing it out of your hands and disappearing. When she came back with it, you found the comments on all your posts limited to people you followed.

Alessia ate lunch with you, every day, no matter how long it took. She talked to you to, about her experience, but never made you feel like you had to tell her anything in return. It helped more than you could express, knowing that you weren't alone, that someone knew what you were going through.

Viv grocery shopped for you, when she figured out it was something you struggled with. She always bought too much, but she always gave you options. When things started to get easier, Viv still took you grocery shopping. It was her way of checking in without making you talk, seeing how you were doing by how overwhelmed you got.

You were partially right; it wasn't easy, but you were strong enough. And when you weren't feeling like you were, your teammates stepped up and were strong where you weren't. You could do it, you could recover. You weren't sure if you would have been able to by yourself, but it didn't matter, because you weren't.

-----

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal wfc x reader #leah williamson #lia walti #katie mccabe #alessia russo #vivianne miedema

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gyummigon · 16 days

Text

like when we first met, i hate you and i love you | beomgyu

beomgyu x fem!reader | playlist

୨୧ word count: 6.8k ୨୧ genre: angst, slight smut ୨୧ warning: non-explicit sex (or so i think), unspecified mental disorders and illnesses, depressive thoughts, thoughts of death, thoughts of loneliness, verbal incitement to suicide, very mild violence (not dating violence), unstable and unhealthy relationship, emotional dependency, mild family strife, and lots and lots of anguish. i don't suggest reading to anyone under 18, in fact don't read it if you are under 18. ୨୧ a/n: writing this was a challenge, but i consider it to be one of the writings i put more of myself into. thank you in advance to the people who are encouraged to read, and i hope i will not disappoint you. my native language is not english, so i apologize for any errors or inconsistencies in the text. have a nice weekend!

It was easy for Beomgyu to feel trapped in his own mind, to mourn the days that were more than just lost; he swore that he remembered nothing of them, and yet they could bring him down at any moment.

He had spent nearly a quarter of his life living in hospital rooms, moving from one to another, but in the end remaining within the same four plain, pale walls. No matter how many times the morning came to him, or how long the night before, they meant nothing when all he could see was a ceiling that could only be distorted in the recesses of his mind.

On this particular morning, the ceiling he saw as he lay sprawled on his bed was not the usual one. The sun's rays struck him from a different direction, the comfort of the mattress was not what his body was accustomed to, and the gentle puff of your breath beside him sent his mind wandering to alternatives that would save him from his growing need to flee your uncomfortable presence.

Your situation was not entirely unfamiliar to you. You knew him too well to have any idea what was going through his mind. The guilt overflowed from the brown of his eyes and hit you almost as hard as the reality of waking up in the same situation again. As you felt the warmth of his body next to yours, you wished bitterly that he was a stranger, that way you could let him go without claiming the warmth you lost the moment nakedness stopped meaning anything.

"Beomgyu," you called him with an uncertain tone. You slid your head from the pillow to his chest and let his heartbeat against your ear flood your mind with fear. You wished you could control it and make it keep beating even if it wasn't for you. "Promise you won't let this happen again."

Beomgyu closed his eyes. The yellow color of your walls was too cheerful and always made him feel depressed.

"I'll visit you tomorrow," was his answer. He gently put your head back on the pillow and started to get up.

A lump in your throat kept you silent as the raw fragility of his nakedness escaped the sheets. Even as she finished dressing and turned to look at you, you kept your attention on the place farthest from her eyes, afraid to get too close and discover that there were demons lurking there.

You and Beomgyu met in seventh grade, in the fall of 2016, under the rays of a bright sun and the orange hue of the leaves of an old oak tree. He had just transferred to the same school as you, but with his bright and enthusiastic personality, he had no shortage of friends, attention, or the furtive glances your curiosity encouraged you to give him. The first time you spoke to each other was after an embarrassing skateboard fall at school, but a handshake and a few awkward smiles sparked a bond that made you inseparable.

Aside from similar musical tastes and an interest in hiking, you didn't have much in common and were constantly having not-so-serious discussions about your differences. It was this contrast that made Beomgyu so eager to spend time with you. You were the respite from his usual routine, the color that was missing from the memories in his mind; the shade that waited to protect him from the sun, even though you were completely unaware of his difficulties. And things should have stayed there, in an innocent and uncomplicated friendship, but your childish need for romance and his urge for compression turned you from friends to lovers in a matter of months.

It was an inevitable fact from the beginning. He was a young man full of life carrying a heavy secret, and you were a naive young woman who didn't know what she was getting into when he opened the doors of his heart and you walked right in. By now, after six years of relationship, both of your hearts were worn out and the constant barriers that Beomgyu's unstable mental health put between you widened a distance that even monotony could not close. Beomgyu felt his soul heavy and dirty even when he was near you, the color of your life itself made him feel like a gray stain, and the shadow that once comforted him now burned him every time he tried to cling to its coolness.

"If I don't come tomorrow, don't go to the hospital until you've finished your homework, okay?"

The pain hidden in your silence made Beomgyu feel miserable and almost made him give in to your earlier request. Promising you was the right thing to do, but with him being meaningless, purposeless and pretending, how could he control himself not to come back here?

"You'll be all right, won't you?" he heard you say in a weak, languid voice.

He couldn't do anything but look at your grieving body under the sheets. He felt terrible, like a piece of trash. Every time he looked at you, he realized how disgusting he was for coming here and making you do all those things. He wanted to get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness and at the same time berate you for letting him do it, for giving him your body even though it made you both feel dirty.

"I love you."

He wasn't sure if those words came out of his mouth and reached you, maybe he had buried them, forgetting their meaning and now they were just a broken compass. What day was it, could he go on or back? Was this the end of the story or had it just begun?

He hated himself so much.

A small smile that didn't reach your eyes spread across your face, you pressed the sheet to your body and propped your knees up on the bed so you could touch him. "Will you be okay?" you repeated as you traced the softness of his cheek with your fingers.

In a losing battle against despair, Beomgyu leaned his face into your touch and closed his eyes. He could not stop pretending that you were not the vessel into which he poured his misery. Every word out of his mouth seemed to weigh tons and lying was the only way to be with you more than just physically.

"I'm trying."

"How long will you keep running away?"

Hearing you, Beomgyu opened his eyes and you sighed as the familiar feeling of fear and uncertainty washed over you as you looked into them. There was a heartbreaking fragility and desperation in them, the same one that was present every time he touched you and made love to you; the same one that remained when his lips moved slightly upward, giving you a faint glimpse of the hidden dimple on his cheek.

"I'm not running away, the hospital doors are always open."

"Beomgyu." You tried to sound stern, but the quiver in your voice at the mention of his name was noticeable.

"Don't worry," he murmured, putting his hands over yours to pull them away from his face. "You have enough burden with school, so avoid distractions and study hard, okay?"

"Then don't come back here, please."

"I'm so sorry." Beomgyu, with his eyes closed and a lump in his throat, placed a hand on your head and pulled you close to him to plant a kiss on your forehead. "Get some sleep before you go to school."

A helpless expression appeared on your face as Beomgyu gently stroked your hair before pulling away. You closed your eyes and bit your lower lip to stifle any more pathetic pleas from your mouth, listening to his every footstep taking him away from you.

An impulse made Beomgyu turn on his heels and look at you again. For some reason, when he saw the way you hugged yourself and closed your eyes tightly, a deep urge to die washed over him from head to toe. He thought he owed it to you after all he had put you through, that there was no other way to give you a chance to escape him.

With a sigh, he took one last look at you and turned his feet toward the exit of your room, offering you the only comfort of his absence and his silence.

And as every time you watched him leave, you felt that he took a piece of your soul with him.

"You have to stop for a moment." You heard Hanna say as you both walked to your next class.

Walking across campus carried a weight that felt thicker in that moment. The weight of the morning was reflected in every step you took, shuffling your feet with the characteristic reluctance of one who has crossed an already too long college day.

Your path to your next class is a routine one, but you have never been able to get used to the distance between one classroom and the next. As you made your way along the path of worn bricks and open spaces where the bustle of students mixed with the sound of car engines, you felt overwhelmed and anxious to get home as soon as possible.

"Take a break." Despite the weight of her guitar on her back and the art portfolio occupying her hands, Hanna moved forward beside you with lighter steps, keeping a calm tone in her voice. "You're starting to rub off on me with your negativity, if you're too tired to study then rest."

You sighed and looked at the time on your watch, your class had started five minutes ago and you still had a long way to go to get to the building where the class was.

"You just don't get it, I rest every day even when I shouldn't," you said as you picked up your pace and Hanna mimicked you without any difficulty.

"Procrastination is not rest, you have to really relax."

If your breathing hadn't been so fast due to the intensity of the walk, you would have sighed. From your perspective, the situation was more complicated. Your current emotional state was beginning to affect your academic performance, and you hated it. As a student of letters and a lover of reading, you had never fallen so far behind in your academic reading and homework. You were used to reading for school as much as for yourself, but in the last few weeks, it was impossible to even hold a book without being a matter of time or will. You couldn't find the concentration to be yourself anywhere, and you feared that if you didn't overcome the block and regain some focus, you would have to drop out of your classes before you failed.

The thought of doing poorly in school made you feel absolutely worthless and nervous.

"I'll try to change, just... don't tell Beomgyu. He's been a little intense lately about the idea that I'm doing well here."

"Why, is he pressuring you or something?"

You paused and thought about all the times Beomgyu told you to stay focused in school, to study hard and get the best grades. It always seemed to you that he said it in a sad rather than a demanding way.

"No, but the situation has been difficult since his relapse," you replied.

Hanna looked at you for a moment with her big, thoughtful eyes before she let out a sigh. "Y/n, since I met you your relationship has been difficult."

"As long as he was under observation he would study online, but he became an irregular student. I guess that's thwarted his plans a lot and knowing my current situation will probably make him sensitive..." you tried to explain in a hurry, but stopped yourself when you couldn't ignore the little conviction in your words. Hanna gave you a reassuring smile and maneuvered her hands to free one of her arms for a few seconds and wrap it around yours. Both your legs slowed in unison and your body relaxed as you tilted your head and rested it on her shoulder. "Do you love him?"

Her question didn't surprise you, but you let a few minutes of silence pass between you before answering. For some reason, it was always difficult to talk about your relationship with Beomgyu; either they didn't understand it at all, or they understood it too much that you started to get the pity treatment.

"Of course."

"As a boyfriend? I mean, do you love him romantically, not as a person you've known since puberty?"

You turned your head away from Hanna's shoulder and brought your gaze to an imprecise point in front of you. It wasn't always up and down with Beomgyu, the stability you both once had and kept you both so alive was as tentative as the current instability, the love manifested was as strong as the doubts. What did it matter how you loved him now, there was no way to know that it would make a difference. The two of you were bound together by more than love, you had a history with too many loose ends to tie up, words whispered in silence that needed to be heard and answered, wounds deep enough to choose to bleed without trying to close them. Yes, the distance was frightening, but you weren't defeated, you could take what you needed from each other to survive, and that wasn't necessarily wrong.

Except for the fact that neither of you were alive.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Hanna's voice broke through your thoughts and brought you back to reality. You let out a sigh, each question weighing you down with exhaustion. "I just... I want to understand you."

"Does he seem bad to you?" you replied without a hint of anger or concern.

"No, I like Beomgyu, I just... since I know him, he's kind of scary to me."

"No, gosh... He's... the nicest, most sensitive guy I've ever met."

"Not that type of scary."

When you heard these words, you felt frustrated. You didn't understand, even though you were also scared, you didn't understand what it was that Beomgyu reflected when he was with you that you couldn't see; because you were also absolutely terrified and couldn't identify the cause.

"He's fine, Hanna."

"And I'm so glad, but what about you?

You wished you could answer that question without your heart trembling with hesitation, but you were at a point where you doubted even your own words. What your mouth was saying and what Hanna could surely read in your eyes were contradictory things. If only you could have at least known which was true...

"I'm fine, okay?"

Your eyes glided over each word on the page with an almost exaggerated slowness, you had read the same paragraph over and over again in the last few minutes, your head was throbbing and fatigue irritated your eyes, but they were not the reason for your lack of concentration, at least not the main one.

Beomgyu sat a meter away from your desk, and you could feel his attention on every twitch of your facial muscles, on the movements of your hands, on the restless tapping of your foot on the floor. Those silences were the ones you hated the most to share with him, they made you insecure and any chance to approach him in a way that didn't make you feel suffocated slipped through your fingers.

You closed the book with a sigh and turned in your chair to look at him. The dark circles under his eyes hardly surprised you, they seemed as dull as the last times you saw him, barely a spark to show they were still screaming inside.

"Are you done?" he asked, slurring his words, but you were sure he already knew the answer.

"I'm tired," you replied instead as you stood up and sought a safer position on your bed, away from his eyes.

"Me too..."

You sighed as you saw him shrink back into the chair and averted your eyes to the floor. You couldn't shake the desire to be silent that came over you every time you saw him, even you couldn't describe the feeling, it made you sick, afraid to say the wrong thing, to push down the hopes he could barely hold in his hands. You were so afraid of breaking him. Despite your caution, you admitted that you were one of those guilty of endangering the stability of the thin rope he was walking, because as long as you were together, you would be the person Beomgyu held his hand and led him to discover the worst ways to sabotage him. It was as if he was testing your criminal mind and inviting you to watch from the front row as he murdered his own dreams and hopes for life.

You snapped out of your thoughts as you felt the weight of his body sink into the mattress. You turned your face in his direction, slightly dazed as you watched him kick off his shoes and curl up into a ball under your sheets. You sighed, not resisting the urge to bring a hand up to his face and caress his cheek, the way you knew he liked it.

"Lie down," he asked you in his little whisper.

There he was, like a ghost in the darkness, looking at you with a longing that made your body tremble. Though he was overflowing with an inexhaustible weariness, and his features bore the nostalgia of the stars that once shone, he was heartbreakingly beautiful. His smooth skin had the feel of a misunderstood canvas, his eyes, deep and enigmatic, carried unreadable pleas. It was sadness embodied in the skin of an ethereal being, unable to be torn away.

Your eyes closed unconsciously as Beomgyu leaned towards you after you obeyed his words, hiding his face in the curve between your neck and shoulder. The warmth of his body was always overwhelming, but his words had the power to slip between the trembling crevices of your heart and freeze its beating at will.

"I miss you..." he murmured against your skin, the roughness of his fingers clinging to your hips and his nose sliding along your collarbone, enveloping your skin with his breath and stealing layers of your scent. "I miss you so much."

How many times had he said those words to you? You wanted to scream at him that you were here, that you hadn't gone anywhere, that he had you, that nothing would tear you from his side, but even you weren't sure of that anymore.

"Me too, babe," you replied, lowering your face to his as his eyes sought yours. Damn it, you thought, it will happen again.

Within minutes, Beomgyu's lips left your neck and traced a path down your belly. Silently, you gave his hands permission to roam beneath your clothes, to trace the curves of your breasts and massage your soft flesh. More than one sigh was stolen from your mouth as his fingers slid to the pointy centre of your breasts, sending a stream of emotion through the gentle pressure. You couldn't explain the emotion that was marked by the trace of his touch on your skin, it wasn't lust, it wasn't need, it wasn't passion, but it was soft and comfortable, just enough to seem like love, just enough to reduce the agony and inappetence of longing to something subtle.

You whispered his name and cupped his face in your hands to draw him to you. Despite the suffocating emotion in the air, your bodies met in an anxious embrace, seeking solace and a cure for the raw hopelessness they could only express through gestures and silent caresses. The weight of his lips against your forehead made you close your eyes, almost begging him to never let go. Your lips ached with the need that filled them as the cold enveloped your body and replaced your clothes. But he did not kiss your lips, though they cried out in supplication, nor did you kiss his, knowing you would find the bitter taste of apology in them.

You also helped him get rid of his clothes. You imitated his lack of shame and suppressed any negative emotions that would make you believe that seeing and touching him as you did was wrong. How could it be so wrong when you had Beomgyu in your hands, gentle, vulnerable and intense? Trembling sounds escaped his throat and bound your hands, begging for more. His hands tightened around you, his fingers sliding down each side of your neck and his thumbs pressing against the softest, most vulnerable part of your shoulders. You leaned into his direction, letting his warm breath brush against your ear.

"My sweet Y/n..." Despite your skepticism that such a thing was possible, the sweetness in his voice made you believe that he really could feel the lost, that your body and voice could soothe his pain.

You kissed his hips with your fingertips, touching the roughness of his bones, holding him close as he wriggled against your touch. He responded just as sharply and slid one hand over your belly and the other between your legs where he pressed his fingers to your most sensitive spot, where pain and pleasure intertwined and sent a tightening sensation to your chest. "Beomgyu..."

"Shhh... it's okay." He took hold of your knees and, as if he had forgotten his own frailty, he exposed you and adjusted your position for him. Your eyes sought his, eager to hold on to something, to reassure you that it wasn't a stranger touching you; to remind you that all was well, that you were safe. You wanted to find security and familiarity away from this quiet, reserved, sleepy version of himself, you wanted a smile of encouragement, one that would light up the night but not set the moon on fire.

Beomgyu held your waist, preventing the involuntary, violent jerks of your pelvis. You swallowed saliva, dizzy and anticipating the raw invasion of his being inside you.

"What's wrong?" you asked as you watched him look at you motionlessly.

"You're not wet enough."

"It's okay, just do it."

Beomgyu's lips brushed your cheek, his voice a whisper in your ear as he leaned closer. "I just want you to relax," he said. "Let me take care of everything."

With a gentle tug around your waist, he sank you deeper into the bed, your head back against the softness of the pillow as he parted his body from yours to give him an open path for his hand to the shy, sensitive place between your legs. His fingers traced the inside of your thighs and slid down to the slit of your crotch, where he made circular motions with his fingertips for a few seconds before penetrating you.

You closed your eyes and gasped for air. It was as if he was lulling you and slapping you at the same time. Part of you wanted to take it with or without pain because you didn't think you could take it much longer; another part of you, the more disillusioned part of you, wished it was him who gave up and ran away. You tried, you really hoped it would work. For a while, sex had been the relief for this raw ache, but nothing really cured it. No matter how many nights you devoted your body to Beomgyu's desires, there would always be a night when you would lock yourself in your room and cry for all that he lacked, for all that you couldn't give him, for all that you didn't want to give him. And he would know, he always noticed these things, the tears burning under the flesh of your cheeks. But he would not caress your heart as you cried, nor would his hands wrap around you as your mind and soul had done a thousand times with him. For Beomgyu would still be miserable, and neither you nor he was ready for him not to drag you down with him.

Your body responded to the demands of Beomgyu's fingers and gave him what they were looking for. He clung to you as if he didn't want you to escape. You could feel his muscles tense and tremble, his breath in your ears, his heartbeat and breath on your skin. It was the only thing you could hold on to so that you wouldn't collapse right there.

Beomgyu slid back, his fingers suddenly far away from the spot between your legs. The feeling of his emptiness inside you was such a familiar pain that you almost reached out for him for a moment, but the caress of his lips on your shoulder and that voice you missed so much brought your focus back to him.

"You're not leaving, are you?" he asked as he slid slowly and carefully inside you.

You didn't answer, you both already knew the answer.

The silence in the room was overwhelming. You were lying on the bed, minutes had passed since your breathing had returned to normal, and now the only sound in the room was the pattering of the rain against the glass of your window. The sweat had dried on your skin and the sheets; your muscles, now relaxed, felt a slight sense of fatigue that made you want to stay in bed.

You looked at Beomgyu's back and traced the curve of his posture with the pad of your index finger. The delicate contours of his vertebrae were illuminated under the dim light of your desk lamp, lacking muscular strength, with a fragility palpable in every stroke your finger outlined.

"Don't come back tomorrow."

"Y/n..." he said in a vague form of protest, but you cut him off before he could say anything else. "I have an exam and I really need to study.

I'll visit you on Friday." There was a minute of silence in which you thought he would try to protest, but he just nodded.

"Well, uhm... Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"You're thinner."

"Maybe."

"Have they been feeding you well?" He gave you a sideways glance and raised his shoulders reluctantly. "It's hard, I have no appetite."

"Hospital food is terrible, isn't it?"

"I guess."

You sighed and looked at the back of his head as if you could see through it.

"It's not the kind of food we were made for," you replied, trying to lighten the mood. Beomgyu finally moved, turned around and his head landed right on your chest. You could feel his hands touching your ribs, his lips in your hair, your feet on his. "I could make you some fried rice," you continued. "So you can eat something."

"It's okay, just stay with you. I don't need any-"

Your eyebrows furrowed as he interrupted himself. He had raised his gaze and was now staring at you.

"What's wrong?"

"You look pretty."

Pretty.

The mood in the room changed when he said those words. You held your breath. Everything around you seemed weaker, as if it would fall apart at the wrong sound. You wanted to speak, but you dared not, out of weakness, your absurd cowardice, to show what you were thinking inside. You didn't feel beautiful. You didn't feel loved. Oh, what a relief it would have been to be able to express it to him at that moment, what a different and less complicated way it would have been not to wait for your surroundings to collapse in order to tell him all that you were hiding inside. Maybe if habit did not keep you silent when misery hovers around you, maybe if darkness was not the only stimulus urging you to seek the light, maybe you would have said it.

I feel lonely.

"Let's cook something, you know, like old times, but this time without burning anything. Let's make gimbap, but not just any gimbap. We can look up my grandmother's recipe, remember? I made it once for your birthday, haven't made it since, but I don't think I've lost the touch. The recipe has to be out there somewhere. My mother..."

"Okay," he interrupted, surprising you with a kiss on the cheek. "Forget the gimbap, fried rice is fine."

"Do you... do you want to join me or would you rather stay here and rest?"

"It's okay, your sister could meet me any minute."

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

With an overwhelming hope growing in your chest, you left your room and went to the kitchen. The house was plunged into a terrible silence and you had to fight the urge to return to the room, knowing that you would not find a warmer atmosphere inside. But the silence didn't last long, just as Beomgyu had predicted, Leah, your older sister, closed the front door as you finished descending the last flight of stairs. You were wearing only a plus size t-shirt and your panties, so you weren't surprised by the annoyed look she gave you.

"Looks like the rain caught up with you after work."

"He's here, isn't it?"

You weren't even surprised that she ignored your attempts to start a conversation away from Beomgyu. You rolled your eyes and headed for the kitchen without looking at her. "Oh, not again, Leah."

"That bastard," you heard her curse as she nipped at your heels. "He thinks he can do whatever he wants to you because of his illness?"

"He didn't do anything to me."

"That's the problem, y/n. In your opinion, he never does anything."

"Mind your own business, Leah." You told her as you tried your best to look busy, moving your hands around the closet, but the truth was your hands couldn't even remember what they were looking for. You opened one of the cabinets, then another. By the third, you felt a little discouraged, so you opened the fourth. Your hands began to despair, until finally a small package of rice wrapped in plastic caught your eye. You gently picked it up and placed it in your lap as you pulled a wooden stool closer to the side of the counter and sat down.

"I'm minding my own business." She replied, standing behind you for a few moments, a tense silence settling between the two of you, and you didn't dare look her in the eye. You felt a pang of embarrassment.

"Leave me alone."

Leah took one of your hands and forced you to face her. "You know I don't like to keep quiet when it comes to this, I didn't before, I won't now. Even if my words are in vain, even if I don't have the right to tell you what to do, I won't swallow my disapproval of you continuing this story in which you are clearly not a heroine. You are a fool, just like mom, don't you see? You witnessed her long years of misery for what? To repeat history? What is broken only hurts."

"Stop." You pulled her hand hard. "This is between Beomgyu and me, no one else has any part in this. How many times do I have to explain myself to you?

Leah let out a frustrated sigh, she seemed to be debating your words and your back stiffened as you waited for her next attack, but the tension in your body turned to surprise when you felt her hand tugging at the collar of your shirt.

"Leah!" you screamed, but your attempts to push her away faltered as you became aware of what she was looking at with such displeasure. You didn't even remember the purple marks on your collarbone, they were old and therefore barely noticeable, but her sharp eyes hadn't missed them and her expression made it clear that he knew who the culprit was; which was just one more reason to increase her displeasure.

"I'm going to... God, that idiot..." After a few seconds of silence, you heard her sigh and turn away. You felt your stomach sink. "Is he upstairs?"

"Leah, don't..."

Your reflexes were fast, but not fast enough to catch her before she came out of the kitchen. Less than a meter from the stairs, your fingers clutched at her clothes, perhaps too tightly, perhaps so desperately that it left your sister and you in disbelief.

You thought of Beomgyu waiting for you in your room, vulnerable and feeble with his own thoughts. Maybe he agreed to let you cook for him because he wanted to be alone, maybe he called you pretty because it was easier than saying anything else. Maybe you loved him and it wasn't right. Maybe you hated him and he knew it. Maybe you took his sadness for granted, or maybe you should have understood that he wasn't worth it. But there was more, something darker than all possible answers, something you suspected but were afraid to admit to yourself, afraid to face it.

Beomgyu didn't need you, it was you who needed him.

Your hand loosened its grip on Leah's clothes and you stepped back. A tremor went through your body as you looked down at your hands, suddenly afraid of yourself, your own demons. "I'm sorry, just... leave him alone."

For a few seconds you thought she would say something, argue, scream, or just try to move on as if she didn't hear you. She did none of these things, instead she turned back to the stairs and said those words that hit every sensitive nerve in your body.

"If your disease doesn't kill you soon, you should kill yourself."

At first, her words were like an attack that you couldn't digest for the first few seconds. They hurt, they stole your breath, and you heard the crackling of something weak, something sensitive breaking; but it was only when you saw where the attack was directed that fear and a searing anxiety invaded your body and made your knees fight against a wrenching weakness.

"Leah!" the scream tore at your throat.

Beomgyu was standing on the stairs when he met your sister's gaze. His jaw was clenched, but his tired expression made him look almost expressionless. But he wasn't. He was shaking, more than you. He was suffering, more than you. He had never looked so small, so fragile, so far away. And you had never felt so helpless, so frightened, so unaware of your impulses.

"How... how can you say such a thing?" Your palms slapped Leah's back, once, twice, three times, as if to force her to spit out an answer. You were distraught, desperate, about to burst into tears. "How can you be a human being and say such a thing? How can you be my sister and..."

"'Whoa, whoa, take it easy... Just calm down..." Beomgyu's arms, who seemed to have rushed down the stairs at full speed at the first of your attacks, wrapped around your waist and pulled you back. You tried to pull him away, even though you had no intention of returning to your sister, but he clung to you tightly. "Come on, outside."

You didn't resist as he led you outside your house. His hands released you only when he closed the door behind him and you turned to him with a pleading expression. Beomgyu said nothing but shook his head in a gesture you could not decipher and the fear that shook every part of your body could not have been worse.

Silence.

You parted your lips, desperately wanting to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Beomgyu gave you a dejected smile and shrugged his shoulders, a gesture he always made when he wanted to play things down and cheer you up. You had to look away to keep from collapsing.

The raindrops on the pavement were bright white under the streetlights. The streets were empty, the only sounds being your accelerated breathing, the pattering of the rain, and the rustle of the trees in the wind. The air was tinged with damp bark and earthy moss, a smell that for the first time you found more devastating than comforting.

"I'm going home, back inside."

Your breath caught in your lungs and you made an incredible effort to get the words out of your mouth. 'If your disease doesn't kill you soon, you should kill yourself'. These words kept going over and over and over in your mind. How could your sister tell him that, how could she even think about it? Beomgyu, who had lived in a body full of anxiety, instability, impulsiveness, confusion, and paranoia since he was sixteen. Beomgyu, who had to live with an incurable diagnosis and inexhaustible medication. Beomgyu, in whose confused mind, behind a thick layer of emotions, there was only a genuine desire to be loved, accepted and valued by himself and others. Beomgyu, insecure, bright, dull, happy, depressed, who started a new war against himself every day. If your sister had known all this, would she have said those cruel words? If your sister had seen the sharp, cutting impact that melted into Beomgyu like a heavy anchor that prevented any hope from floating, would she really have stayed at home so calmly?

"She doesn't know what she said," you whispered, lifting your gaze from the floor to look deep into his eyes. "She's... selfish, arrogant, completely irrational. She thinks she knows you. They think they know you. But they don't know anything about you! They don't know you like I do, no one...no one..."

"It's okay."

"Nobody does."

"I know." Beomgyu took your face in his hands, his intense eyes never leaving yours. "You know me better than anyone."

"Stay."

Beomgyu shook his head sadly.

"No, I..."

"I love you."

Your interruption seemed to shake the ground beneath Beomgyu's feet. The boy sighed shakily and leaned his forehead against yours. His eyes, now wet and shiny like the concrete of the long avenue, were hidden under his eyelids and closed with the force of something burning to be seen.

"Do you sometimes... do you sometimes not have the urge to die together? To throw us in a lake and drown? Something like that?"

A sob escaped your throat and your hands cupped his cheeks, almost as if you were holding his heavy soul with the edge of your fingernails to keep him from slipping from your grasp. Nothing was ever more frustrating. "No, God, of course not, how can you say such a thing? I want nothing more than to live by your side, to synchronize your heart with mine, to hear you breathe, to see you smile... I want to calm you down and for you to calm me down. I want to survive with you.

Beomgyu let out a soft snort that resembled an attempt at laughter. "Always giving me the cold shoulder. Go back inside, you'll catch a cold."

Your hands grabbed his clothes. You didn't want to let go, your whole being told you not to, not to let him go, not like that, not with those words still echoing in his head. Beomgyu gently pushed your hands away and you trembled. You were afraid for everything, for him, for yourself, for the future. You feared his departure and that he would become unreachable. For the first time, you feared that you didn't love him.

Beomgyu's breathing was steady now, only the faint, clear outline of his body pressed against your chest told you that he was still there, still present. "I'm scared," you whispered.

"Me too."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Friday, I'll see you Friday."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Finally, you stepped back, still wanting to say many things, but lacking the right repository of words to get them out. Beomgyu hesitated for a moment, his mouth opened slightly as if he wanted to speak. But he didn't. You took a deep breath and stepped back again, your face blank and your hands hanging limply at your sides. Your lips trembled, but then, almost out of nowhere, you smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, nothing like that, given the situation. It was desperation eating away at your life, the wind hitting your body and telling you how empty your hands were now. It was Beomgyu, tired and in pain, making his way into the distance.

You smiled even more when the sky began to rain.

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judeswhore · 1 year

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i wanna kiss your lips; mason mount

summary: your past relationships have been anything but giving and mason just has to change that

pairing: best friend!mason mount x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, oral (f) receiving

notes: you can find my masterlist here. uhm surprise? this was a half finished piece in my drafts and i thought teehee maybe i’ll post so here she is

“you’ve never had an orgasm?” mason’s tone was one of complete disbelief, the look in his eyes a perfect match. he gazed at you from the other end of the sofa, the movie playing on his tv long since forgotten.

“well, i have by myself, but not with anyone else.”

“never?”

“nope.”

“not even josh?” you snorted at this, gazed into the bowl of popcorn on your lap in search of a piece that looked extra sweet. mason was watching you with furrowed brows, his body turned to face yours, one arm against the back of the sofa. there was a pillow in his lap and he picked at a loose piece of thread.

“especially not josh.” you shrugged like it was nothing, curling your feet up under yourself as you matched his position. you stared at him head on, even as you spoke the next few words. “most guys only care about getting themselves off, half the time they can’t even tell if you’ve finished or not. they fuck you and take what they want and that’s it, sometimes it’s too much effort and to them where’s the fun in that?”

“too much effort?” mason was perplexed. too much effort is not a phrase he would use in regards to making his girl cum, in fact that was the best part, the fun part. drawing it out as long as possible, edging them with your fingers and tongue until they’re begging and falling apart from one simple touch. to him, sex is boring if the foreplay isn’t drawn out and full of teasing.

“it takes a while for me. i can’t-“ you shrugged again, heat blossoming over your skin because why were you talking about this with mason? the boy who’d put worms in your sandwiches when you were little? your friendship was open and carefree and yeah you’d often discussed your sex lives but this felt like a step too far. but you’d already started now, what would be the point in stopping. “i can’t just cum in two minutes. it takes more than just a couple fingers or whatever and the guys i’ve been with found that tiring. who wants to be with a girl who’s wound so tight it takes her forever to cum? they usually try for a few minutes, get bored and sometimes a little annoyed so i fake it, we fuck, they leave. i’ve learnt to take care of myself once they’re gone.”

you weren’t entirely sure how you’d gotten on to that topic, you’d been talking about your ex being back in town and one thing led to another until you were confessing your deepest, darkest secrets. well, it wasn’t exactly deep or dark but it was definitely a secret. twenty three years old and you were yet to find a man who could make you finish, over dramatic moans and fake orgasms had long since become your closest friend. it was this confession, and your best friends need to be good at everything, that had landed you in a pretty surprising position.

naked in his bed.

“y’can tell me if you wanna stop, okay?” mason was settled between your legs, his mouth hot on the inside of your thigh and all you could do was nod. you swallowed thickly, hands pressed into the soft cotton of his bedsheets because you didn’t know where else to put them. mason’s hair looked inviting but you were nervous, afraid you’d pull too hard, worried he might not like having the soft strands yanked. that on top of you usual anxieties over not being able to cum had your heart pounding in your chest. your best friend was no idiot and he could sense your inner turmoil from a mile away.

he propped himself up on his elbows and kissed your knee.

“tell me this is okay. if it’s not we can stop, pretend it never happened.”

“no,” you shook your head rather aggressively. mason hadn’t even touched you yet and you were soaked, wound up simply by thinking about what he was going to do to you. not a single part of you wanted him to stop. “this is okay.”

“yeah? you’re sure?”

“positive.” he blew out a soft breath, a half laugh, that hit your pussy, made you clench around nothing. you might find it difficult coming at the hands of someone else but you were always extra sensitive. the fact that this was mason was somehow intensifying that.

“good because i really wanna eat you out.” you had no reply for that but he didn’t seem to mind, he was kissing your thigh again, trailing his mouth to that hot spot between your legs but never actually touching you. he switched to your other thigh, nipped and sucked until you were shifting impatiently, subtly lifting your hips closer to his mouth.

“mason.”

“shh, m’taking my time. this is what you deserve.” he pressed a hand to your stomach to hold you down, his other hand hooking under your knee, pushing outward to open you up for him. you were completely on show to him, every inch of you and despite that initial anxiety, a larger part of you felt like this was meant to be. there was no one who made you feel safer than mason.

he kissed your hip, nuzzled his nose against the soft skin of your thigh before his mouth hovered over your pussy. his gaze flicked up to yours, a gentle smile curving his lips.

“you’re so beautiful, baby.” it took everything in you not to buck towards his mouth, your fingers twisting into the sheets. his smile turned dirty in an instant. “got the prettiest pussy, gonna treat her right, yeah? gonna show you how good it feels.” you could only nod, tummy twisting at his words. dirty talk always got you off, pushed you closer to that edge but again, some guys just don’t do it right. you could already tell this wasn’t going to be a problem with mason.

the second his tongue touched you a shaky breath blew past your lips, your eyes falling closed. he licked a single broad stripe from your leaking hole to your clit, tongue flat to cover as much of you as possible. he repeated the motion, humming at the taste of you, cleaning up the wetness that had gathered just from his proposition. the kiss he pressed to your clit had your thighs tensing beneath his hands.

“taste so good, sweetheart.” he teased the tip of his tongue against your hole, dipped inside just slightly before he was licking through your folds again. at your clit he stopped, pointed his tongue and repeatedly flicked over the swollen bud, grinning at the high pitched whine it pulled from you. “yeah? like that?”

“yeah, i-“

“shh, it’s okay, just relax for me.” mason’s hand smoothed over your thigh, pressed you open a little more and went back to flicking the tip of his tongue over your clit. pleasure was curling low at the base of your spine, the very first sparks of fire. this was usually as far as it would get, your orgasm would build halfway before fizzling out of reach.

his lips closed around your clit, sucked softly until your hips were lifting off the bed, bucking towards his mouth and he was chuckling low in the back of his throat. the sound vibrated through you, made you half choke on a whimper, your fingers pulling at the sheets. he pulled back and kissed the skin around your pussy, ignored the parts which were begging for him. his hand was suddenly reaching for yours, fingers soft around your wrist as he pried yours from the sheets and guided them to his head. he pushed until your fingers threaded through the soft strands of hair.

“want you to tug on my hair, not my sheets.” you couldn’t reply because he was buried back between your thighs, tongue running through your folds, licking at your clit, pressing just slightly inside you before retreating again. he kept the pressure on your clit light, just bordering on teasing and it was driving you insane, the steady build up of pleasure growing heavier.

with your hands in his hair you pushed, urged him to increase the pressure. he caught on almost immediately, swirled his tongue around it before flicking back and forth, your mouth dropping open on a quiet moan. that moan turned into a soft yelp when his teeth grazed your clit. it was a foreign feeling but one that had you gushing with even more arousal.

“don’t hold back, i want you to be loud. want my neighbours to know how good i’m giving it to you.” you made some unintelligible sound, tugging a little at his hair in acknowledgment and mason sucked your clit in reply. he suctioned it into his mouth with a deep groan and your orgasm creeped a little bit closer. at this point, your past partners would have given up, would have huffed in annoyance until you faked your orgasm and they could fuck you.

mason, however, had lost no momentum and was showing no signs of letting up, his attention to your pussy and your reactions to his mouth keeping him going. he’d caught on that you liked teasing just a little, that you liked when he worked you to a point with the tip of his tongue before flattening it and letting it fizzle out. that was what drew out your orgasm, time and teasing. you were a wet mess, dripping down on to his sheets, stickying your thighs and the lower half of his face and you whined loudly when he pressed his tongue into your hole.

his nose bumped your clit repeatedly from the position, your pussy clenching with need and you couldn’t help the harsh yank to his hair.

“oh my god, fuck. don’t-don’t stop.” your head tipped back, a string of moans and curses falling past your lips as mason continued fucking you with his tongue. each time his nose rubbed over your clit a desperate whimper fell from you, your grip on his hair tight enough that it bordered on painful. he pulled back, gave one large lick up your pussy before meeting your gaze.

“tell me what you need.” you blinked at him, trying to clear the fog in your head. you were already so close, a feeling you’d never felt with anyone else bubbling in your tummy but even you knew you still needed a little bit more. true, you could probably cum from mason’s tongue alone if he kept going, but you wanted just that little bit more. you brushed his hair back with your fingers, focused your gaze on his mouth, lips plump and glistening and there was an overwhelming need to kiss him.

you were aware the two of you had crossed a line in your friendship, had done something you couldn’t come back from. but this was sex. unfeeling, detached, a transaction of sorts. mason can prove you can cum with other people, you get an orgasm when you’d only been expecting a movie and popcorn tonight. but kissing was different. kissing meant something to you and you couldn’t kiss him and move on. something at the back of your mind suggested you weren’t going to be able to move on from this, but that was for future you to worry about. right now you just wanted to cum.

“fingers, i want your fingers.” it was breathless, your voice broken and scratchy from your keening moans and whines. mason cocked his head, grinning slowly as he bent his head and kissed just above your clit.

“yeah? want me to fuck you open with them? bet i can have you coming in minutes, baby.” he shifted between your legs and brought his hand up, middle and pointer finger settling in front of your mouth. his grin turned into a smirk, eyes sparkling with heated lust. “be a good girl and get them nice and wet for me.” you were quick to do as you were told, lips wrapping around his fingers, tongue swirling around them until they were coated in saliva. you let them go with a dramatic pop, not once breaking eye contact, even as mason settled back between your thighs.

your legs had closed slightly and he nudged them back open with a chastising nip to the soft skin. the tips of his fingers teased your hole, circled it for a second as his gaze locked on your pussy.

“you’re making a mess of my sheets.” there was nothing to say to that and so you simply let your head fall back on to the pillow, eyes closing again when he pressed both fingers into you. he moved slowly, let your walls relax around him before he hooked them up and slowly retreated. “god, you’re so fucking tight, don’t even think my cock would fit.” it was a throwaway comment, actual sex wasn’t on the table but his words still made you clench, the thought of him burying himself inside you pulling a high pitched whine from your throat.

“make me cum, please. i wanna cum.”

“i know, sweetheart, i’m gonna, just enjoy it.” he started fucking you slowly, fingers pressing against all of your sensitive parts, hitting deeper than yours ever could. the thumb on his other hand had found your clit and was rubbing tight circles over it, the trembles in your thighs an indication to you both that you were hurtling towards the edge. the wet sounds of your pussy and mason’s low praises broke through your constant string of moans and whimpers. “that’s it. taking it so good, babe, look at you. pussy’s just begging me to fuck her, you’re squeezing me so tight.”

his tongue was on your clit again, flicking over it to match the pace and rhythm of his fingers and each time they hooked inside of you, you tipped a little bit closer. your clit was swollen and throbbing beneath his tongue, the feeling intensifying when he sucked it between his lips. he hummed against, thrust his fingers in a little harder, stretching you open to a point you wished it was his cock filling you up.

“such a pretty girl, you gonna cum for me? come on, i wanna feel it.” fingers in his hair, you pulled a little harder, legs starting to shake and your orgasm was only inches out of reach. the pads of his fingers repeatedly bullied into that sensitive spot deep inside of you, the feeling so intense tears had gathered on your lash line as your mouth dropped open, moans and whimpers of mason’s name filling the air.

“m’so close, mase, it feels so good.”

“mhm, being such a good girl, fuck i wish i could stay here all night.” you whined, back arching off the bed and his free hand had to press you back down, applying the slightest bit of pressure to your lower tummy. he could tell how close you were, knew your orgasm was just dangling out of reach and he took a chance as he pulled his lips from you clit. “play with your tits for me, babe.”

half delirious you did as told, one hand still tugging at mason’s hair but the other moved up to cup your boob, squeezing and massaging the way you did when you were alone. praises filtered up from between your legs and then he was back to tonguing your clit, his fingers fucking you a little harder. you pinched your nipple and mason crooked his fingers and your orgasm hit you like a wave.

a high pitched moan, one that definitely sounded like a cry, fell from your lips as your back lifted off the mattress, fingers tangled so tight in mason’s hair it was a miracle you hadn’t pulled any out. your pussy clenched so tight around his fingers, slick walls hugging them back in each time he pulled them out, working you through the most intense orgasm of your life. mason kept muttering praises the whole time, telling you how good you did, how pretty you were, how badly he wants to fuck you until you cry.

it takes a few moments, a couple slow pumps of his fingers and ever slower laps of his tongue before the waves of pleasure die down and the roaring in your ears subsides. you’d gushed around his fingers, made a mess of him and the bed but he didn’t seem to mind, eagerly cleaning you up with broad licks when he finally pulled his fingers free. you were too sensitive, clit pulsing and with a shake of your head you pushed at mason’s forehead, whimpering quietly when he pressed a final kiss to the little bud.

he sat back on his knees, watched you through hooded eyes as he sucked his fingers into his mouth, licked them clean of your cum while you watched with a heaving chest. your body was on fire, pussy sensitive but somehow feeling empty now and it was difficult to miss the bulge in mason’s joggers. he drew his fingers from his lips and flopped down beside you, his shoulder warm against your bare skin.

“so, how was that for a first orgasm?”

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