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queers-gambit · 8 months

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Curiosity Killed The Cat

prompt: after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.

pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Marvel

word count: 5.1k+

note: author wants things out of her drafts! also don't take this fic too seriously, it's not much at all - just me writing for the fuck of it until i'm ready to focus on my bigger projects.

warnings: modern AU, Mafia AU, obvious cursing, small hurt and comfort, brief depiction of physical violence and self-destruction in the form of: loss of appetite, lack of sleep, other symptoms of depression. NOT edited! author is ashamed because she knows she can give you something better but oh well.

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Your feet planted, jarring you to a halt the moment you heard your name in a conversation you were not apart of.

You heard the hammering of your heart, echoing beats of your blood pumping with harrowing desperation. Hands turned cold and clammy, sweat breaking out on your brow and then freezing, feeling as if your throat had swollen to a new restriction and you were anchored in you in place.

Rooted.

But for now, all you could identify was the paralyzing anxiety that anchored you to your spot and made your heartbeat thunder in your ears. You stood outside the lounge, unable to comprehend relevant thought; still listening to low, docile tones continue their conversation, but you couldn't hear real words.

You were stunned. Panicked, confused, hurt - so very hurt. That seemed to register, too; you were really, really hurt.

This was perhaps why curiosity killed the cat.

You reprimanded yourself for listening in - transporting back to childhood during all the times your parents would scold you for eavesdropping. You knew it was wrong, you knew this was a private conversation meant to be shared between trusting confidants, but you couldn't help it - you heard your name and stopped. It was natural, right? To feel curious regarding a conversation seemingly about you that you, yourself, was not apart of?

Curiosity, indeed.

Blinking rapidly, you remembered the only other time you felt such mounting, pressurized fear, and while it might be dramatic, the only other time you could remember this level of anxiety was from about two months ago...

"Yes, baby, I got the bacon."

"And the jalapeños?"

"Uh-huh, the biggest they had."

"Cream cheese?"

"Do you know who you're talking to?" You laughed into the phone. "I'm a professional housewife by now, you can relax. I got all you needed for your fancy little dinner experiment."

Bucky laughed down the phone, "Oh, please, like I didn't see you salivating when we watched the segment on Top Chef."

"Hush," you laughed, too. "I'm leaving the store now," you told him, pushing out of the heavy glass doors, "and should be home in, like, 10 minutes?"

"Lemme pick you up."

"I have legs to walk with, so, no thank you."

He sighed, "Well, I'll open the wine to let it breathe. Red's still good?"

"Let's do a white tonight, please."

"Good deal," he mused softly. "Hey, I was thinking earlier - "

"Hang on," you pleaded.

"What's wrong?"

"No, nothing. There's just a van slowing down, I don't want to get hit," you chuckled some, looking up and down the street before crossing. "Sorry, so, what were you thinking?"

"We haven't been to Paris in months."

You smirked, "I'm sure our plants in the apartment are dead by now."

Bucky laughed, "Oh, I am, too. But, look, how 'bout it, Peach? You, me, all the croissants we can consume this weekend. I'll take Monday and Tuesday off, we can leave tomorrow night."

"Oh, that sounds nice," you moaned. "Paris in the spring? Baby, that's so dreamy!"

"So, is that a yes?"

"It's a hell yes," you grinned. "Do you know the weather?"

"Supposed to be nice and sunny, not too warm or cold. Figured this would be ideal," he chuckled. "But does the weather matter if we're in bed the whole time?"

"No, we're not wasting our time!" You laughed. "We're gonna go do shit, okay? Stereotypical tourist-couple shit."

"I'll bring the camera."

"And I was hoping we could have dinner at that little place we love?"

"I wouldn't take you anywhere else," he mused.

"I think it's - FUCK!" Bucky froze when he heard the screeching of tires; a van coming up to a skidding halt, flurry of voices all yelling but he heard yours clearly. "No, no, no, hey, hey, what the hell's happening? Hey! What's this - hey, hey! Don't touch me! Ow, shit! No! Hey! Fuck's sake - oh, my God! Ow! Hey!"

"Baby!? Peach! Hey! The fuck's going on!?"

There was a thudding over the phone, and Bucky listened to more struggling - more fidgeting and fighting - and then the slamming of a car door. Still calling your name, Bucky heard a scrape over the line before a different voice answered your phone, "James Barnes. On behalf of HYDRA, you're overdue on your payment and we warned you there would be consequences. Deliver the full amount of 17 million - "

"It's 15," he growled.

"Two million more for the inconvenience of stalking your woman."

"If you even so much as touch her, I swear to God - "

"17 million at midnight, at the pier, or every minute you're late, she'll receive the brunt end of our frustration."

"Don't hurt her - "

"Midnight, Mr. Barnes, at the pier - you know where. Don't be late, she looks like she won't last long."

The line went dead after he heard your screech of pain, confusion, and fear. The moment the line cut, he dropped his phone and slowly lowered himself to sit on the kitchen floor, shock coloring his system. It wasn't that he didn't have the money, quite the opposite - but he and his men had a plan in motion to take out HYDRA, their org's competition, and this was totally against all they anticipated. After a minute to sit in his own worry, Bucky jumped to his feet, grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, and two handguns; holstering them both before shrugging his suit jacket on.

He made every phone call he could, gathering the men he trusted most to (one of) his warehouse(s).

For hours, you were strung up by your wrists in a joint-pulling position while the Brooklyn Mafia formulated a plan of attack. It was the most pain you've ever known, but then the abuse started and you were blinded by this new pain. You had bruises most places, cuts that wept blood; scars that would never heal, wounds that wouldn't ever close. You were delirious, miserable, confused, just dazed and confused; praying to a God who didn't listen.

"Oh, look at that," your captor mocked, holding a thick-bladed hunting knife in hand, "it's one minute til midnight, and I don't see your loverboy anywhere."

You sniffled, unable to respond.

He stared out the lone window, tisking and narrating, "Nope, I see not a soul - and with how protective he is over you, you'd think he'd want to ensure your safety. Not leave it to chance, huh?"

You whimpered as the clock struck midnight, your heart hammering in heavy-hung worry. You had tears in your eyes, heart nearly beating out of your chest, feeling incredibly nauseous. The desire to scream never lessened, just fearing what was to come; the men in the room making you fear for the state of your life, their knuckles cracking. You only begged, "Please. Don't."

The main captor laughed, "You can do better than that! C'mon, give me the satisfaction of tellin' ol' James you begged for mercy - but it wasn't enough to sway me. I'll lie, for sure, and say it happened but it will be so much sweeter if you actually do it."

"Please," you shook your head, avoiding eye contact. "Just don't do this, please."

"Oh, honey," he mocked, "it's not our fault he's late. Lads! Have at her, but leave her face for now - she's still real pretty."

You listened as he gave commands in Russian, understanding after the years at Bucky's side; whimpering when the first blow landed to your gut and knocked the wind out of you. The minutes drug by and you felt your resolve crumbling, heart still hammering to a never-before-felt speed that made it feel as if it were jumping out of your very body at every single pulse point. You struggled in your restraints, but it was futile by how tight you were bound; unable to protect yourself.

At 12:03 am, the doors blew open in a resounding blast; concrete crumbling and sprinkling the floor. You cried out as the smoke choked you, coughing through the haze; only barely able to make out certain figures to know Bucky had brought his best men. However, despite the sting to your eyes from the swirling dust and smoke, you saw a lone man stalk through the blasted wall, through the fray, and straight up to you.

"Bu-Bucky!" You choked in relief as he reached to untie your feet first. You dangled for only a moment as his metal prosthetic ripped off whatever held your wrists to the torture contraption. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bucky, holy shit, baby, please, please, please," you rambled as he freed you and instantly caught you on his broad shoulders.

"I got you, Peach, I'm here, I've got you," he promised in your ear, hoisting your legs around his waist so they latched and then wrapping his arms around you securely. "Don't let go and don't look up, okay? Hear me, Peach?"

You nodded into his neck, only able to cry.

Bucky jolted and jerked slightly as he moved through the fight again, but not a minute later, you were stepping outside into the sobering, brisk spring air. This was the moment you understood how dangerous and fleeting life with Bucky could be, making a promise to yourself that if he says take the car, you'll take the fucking car.

And now, here you were, outside the high-rise apartment's lounge (which was just a converted bedroom), listening to your boyfriend complain about you some 2 months after the whole fiasco. HYDRA had been all but wiped out, and in the weeks since, Bucky's men had gone on smaller missions to eradicate the HYDRA members they heard rumor of being local. Yet you didn't feel safe, yet.

You didn't feel safe if you weren't around Bucky.

Everything made you jump: the beep of the done-dryer, that spritz of the automatic fragrance mister in the bathroom, the "duh-dunnn" of a loaded-up Netflix. Keys jingling, car horns, the barking of the dog in the apartment a floor below you... Everything.

Being around Bucky was just like holding a safety blanket. He would always protect you, and for about a week after your rescue, he laid in bed and around the home with you; being lazy; time off work to simply hold you and assure you were safe. Safe in his arms. Safe in his embrace, his presence.

So now... To hear this... You were devastated.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just sort of happened. It was still earlier in the morning, but Bucky hadn't been in bed beside you and based on the feel of the sheets, his body hadn't been there in a while. So, you made some coffee and then ventured around the home in search of your lover; coming upon the lounge and hearing voices from within.

You knew it was common for Steve Rogers and / or Sam Wilson to stay late or visit early, so, you weren't shocked by that, but did falter in announcing yourself when you heard Sam ask how you were doing since the kidnapping. He used your name specifically, making Bucky sigh, and for your curiosity to peak.

"She's different, man."

"How so?" Sam wondered.

"She doesn't like being without me now," he chuckled without humor. "I'm serious, she won't go to the gym until I do, waits to have meals together, won't leave the house if I'm out, and," he scoffed to himself, "you can forget going to the grocery store or anything - she's even stopped going to work - "

"You told her to stop working, like, two years ago when y'all first moved-in together," Sam deadpanned.

"I know," Bucky shrugged, "but it feels tenfold now that she's so reclusive."

"It's normal," Steve sighed gently.

"Yeah? Is it normal that I can't even go take a shit without promising her I'll be right back?" Bucky snapped in exasperation. "It's that bad, she's that fucking clingy, man. I go in the kitchen to make dinner, she's in there 30 seconds later to 'help' me. I take a shower, she finds a reason to linger in the bedroom, but that was better than before, when she wouldn't even shower by herself. It's just a lot, she's everywhere I look. I'm starting to find new reasons not to come home, man, she's always fucking here - and when I walk in the door, she's on me. I need to fucking breathe, but I can't tell her to stop, she'll get her feelings hurt and then I'm the bad guy."

"Man," Steve laughed, "you can't be the bad guy if you go to her in a calm and collected manner, but it's only been two months. She's still recovering."

"Exactly why if I say anything, no matter how calm and collected, I'm the bad guy. I get she's hurting and tryna recover, but Goddamn, does she have to be in every room I'm in? Do everything with me? How do I tell my traumatized girlfriend to back off? Let me breathe?"

Sam laughed, "You don't! You just said it - she's traumatized! Cut the girl some slack, she's got a lot to fuckin' deal with!"

"I'm not negating from that fact," Bucky argued, "I'm just trying to say, the way she's clinging onto me like she can't function without me is just grating at my nerves. I just need to breathe and recharge, but I can't tell her that - fuck's sake."

"Buck," Steve smirked, "you're worried Peach isn't gonna listen, but that's her literal superpower. Just communicate, she can't read your mind, but you need to remember how traumatic all of that was for her to experience - she's scarred from that kidnapping, man. So, sure, you need to recharge, but she needs the support."

"Is it wrong to ask for a day here and there to do that? To recharge?" Bucky asked quietly.

"If you communicate, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for," Sam assured softly. "And whatever you do, don't tell her you think she's clingy. Chicks hate that, that word is, just, like, taboo or something. Real heavy, negative connotations."

"But she is," Bucky growled quietly, "'s like she's afraid to let go 'cause I'll disappear or something."

"Oh, noooo," Sam mocked, "I'm Bucky and my girlfriend loves me too much and trusts me too much and actually feels safe and dependent on me too much - ohhh noooo!"

There was a thump, Sam's cried, "Ow!", and Bucky telling him to shut up. You slowly backed away from the door, trying to settle your breathing as you made your escape down the hall. When back in the kitchen, you whimpered and let the first tears fall... The first of many you shed in the hour it took you to prepare breakfast for everyone; doing your best to eat as you cooked so you didn't have to linger around the men. You took Bucky's words to heart, and maybe you were too sensitive, maybe you should venture outside again.

So, when the lads came out, you set the table without making eye contact with any of them. "Here," you directed, setting the pancakes down, "I made breakfast, come eat, it's still hot."

"Wow," Sam smiled brightly, "thanks, Peach!"

You hummed, still avoiding their eyes as you just set the abundance of food to the table. "You... Cooked without me?" Bucky asked you with skepticism.

"Mhm," you hummed, setting the coffee pot down to a hot pad, "and I'm going out shopping with Nat, so, eat up, lads, I'll do the dishes when I get home. Love you, boys, bye," you waved them off, snatching your keys and then moving to the door to stuff your feet into your sneakers.

"Woah, woah, woah," Bucky left the table, approaching you urgently, "hey, what do you mean? You're goin' out?"

"Yep, figured I've stayed in too long, might as well get out and remember life doesn't stop just 'cause I'm sad."

"Peach - "

"I'll see you when I get home, Buck, okay?" You mumbled, slinging your purse on your shoulder.

"Well, here, here, hey, wait, hang on," he pulled his wallet out, handing you over a wad of big bills. "Spend it all, okay? Have fun, call or text if you need me, yeah?"

"Sure."

Bucky leaned in to kiss you but you just opened the door, ready to leave. He frowned, watching you, barely managing to call a quick, "Love you!"

You didn't return the sentiment, feeling hallow and all too silly to return the affection. In your purse was your laptop, headphones, chargers, and whatever else, so, instead of meeting your friend, Natasha - being just a ruse to avoid Bucky - you started small and just went to the local café. You used to frequent it back in the day, but times were changed, and yet, they were all the happier to serve you the same as before. Getting cozy in the corner, you set up camp and ordered your favorite coffee basically every other hour - letting the day waste away as you caught up on work emails.

Might've wasted time on Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest. Got shopping done on Amazon. Browsed through Target's online selection. Checked out the sale items at Kate Spade. Perused Fenty Lingerie because you could.

Before you knew it, a message was coming in over your MacBook from Bucky, asking where you were - why had you turned your location off?

You packed up and with a to-go cup, made the short trek back home. When you got back, Bucky was pacing in the living room; staring at his phone and typing, then deleting, retyping, groaning, glancing up, typing again, then doing a double take. "Where've you been, Peach? Huh!?" Bucky demanded. "You're late!"

"Out with Nat," you eased.

He huffed through his nose, nodding slowly, "You have a nice time?"

"It was okay," you answered. "I'm gonna go to bed after I shower."

His brows furrowed, "I have a meeting tonight."

"I know."

"O...kay?" He let you go, wanting to ask why you didn't ask him to join like you had so often in the past few weeks.

And it didn't stop there, in fact, it got worse. When Bucky got home from his meeting, he was actually shocked to see you nestled in the bed; teetering on the edge of the shared space while snuggling a weighted body pillow.

When he tried to give you a snuggle, you stirred to life and pushed him back, muttering, "Too hot."

The following morning, he was relatively surprised to see you up and about before him; barely getting a word in before you were slipping out the door to go on a morning jog. He was confused by how all of a sudden, where you were once everywhere he looked, now, you were disappeared and distant and gone. You worked out alone, cooked alone - but always left him a plate, but long gone were the cute little sticky notes you left for him. You once haunted the apartment by never wanting to leave, and now, ghosted in and out of it on a daily basis.

You never bothered to go far from home. You liked hanging at the coffee shop and luckily, your job let you work from home most days, and the rare time you were due back in the office, it was only about a 20 minute walk. You got better at lying, couldn't even remember the last time you and Bucky had sex, and even now, the last time you had a meal together. You didn't text him about your day; where you once might've told him about an adorable dog you saw on the street, now, you only ever texted him if he asked a direct question.

Food lost appeal, your appetite vanished.

Sleep evaded you, plaguing you with nightmares when you did rest.

Interest dulled, passions were snuffed, and only fearful, confused anger remained. It showed in the way weight seemed to shift around your body, thinning; the lack of sleep creating dark rings and bags under your bloodshot eyes.

After two weeks of this, Bucky grew irritated and short with everyone around him. It reflected in his work, the way he spoke to everyone; even Steve and Sam getting the brunt end of his anger. Without you to assure him, Bucky was off his rocker; losing his cool; his patience stretched far too thin. So much so, the two mates approached an outside associate, Natasha Romanoff, after a particularly snappy meeting to plead for her to talk to Bucky.

"James," Nat greeted as she strode into his office without knocking.

"I know you're my oldest friend, but you don't have that privilege yet," he mused, never looking up.

"What?"

"Not knocking. What is it, Nat?"

"Just came to check on you, you know, like friends do."

"Hm," he chuckled without humor, "and what did Peach say to you?"

"About...?"

"Me."

"Nothing, I haven't gotten ahold of her for weeks."

Bucky paused, slowly lifting his head in confusion; brows furrowed and mouth set in a firm, straight line. "What?" He grit.

"Huh?" Nat wondered.

"She's been telling me that she's hanging out with you for the past two weeks," he revealed.

"Nope, not since the incident with HYDRA."

Bucky's (right) flesh hand crushed the pen in his grip, taking a long breath. "All right," he sighed, "so, why come today?"

"What's really going on, Buck?" She worried softly. "Is it really whatever's going on with Peach? You're this pissed off? What'd she even do?"

"She just..." He cut himself off with a long sigh. "It's nothing."

"Bucky," Nat gave a pointed look.

"She's just avoiding me," he muttered. "It's like she's barely home, almost like a ghost."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes, and no," Bucky snipped, rolling his neck out. "I'm just worried about her now, she's never not communicated before."

"Something's bothering her," Nat shrugged. "She probably needs you right now, Buck."

"I can't do it all," he whispered. "I can't be who she wants and run this organization at the same time."

"She doesn't need that, she just needs you to be her partner," Natasha spoke softly. "She needs to feel loved and supported, and surely, she maybe felt weird about whatever you were projecting. Instead of taking it out on your men," she smirked, "why don't you just talk to her? 'Cause I hear you're bein' a more-than-usual asshole lately. You need to ease up or get laid, 'cause you're taking it out on good, loyal men, and that's entirely unfair."

"They can take it."

"Sure, but they shouldn't have to," Nat rolled her eyes. "Look, since you won't answer me, I'm assuming the sour mood is in regard to whatever relationship issues you have right now?"

"Sure," he tossed the pen away, opened a skinny drawer to his right and select an identical one.

"Bucky," she growled.

He sighed, "She's lying to me, Nat. Saying she's with you when she's not... Is this an affair? She's gone all the time now."

"No way," Nat laughed. "Baby girl doesn't have the energy to entertain anyone - let alone two men. You're just the exception."

"Why lie, then?"

"Maybe she didn't want you questioning her..."

"No shit."

"Well, did you get into a fight?"

"No."

"Any reason she doesn't want to be home?"

He shook his head with a sigh, "Not that I know of."

"You had to do something."

"Honest, I haven't. She was being all clingy, but then one day, a switch flipped."

Nat frowned, "You think... Your girlfriend is being clingy... Because she was kidnapped and beaten up... Because of your fucking job... And is probably scared...out of...her mind...? I get that correct?"

Bucky paused for a long moment, muttering, "Oh, my God."

"Yeah, you asshole. Think of it that way! She's afraid!" Natasha snapped. "And probably picked up on your energy, so, she made herself scarce."

"I didn't mean - "

"I don't care, go home, apologize to that sweet angel - she doesn't deserve this."

Bucky paused, "What is 'this' exactly?"

"James. Focus on the present - your woman. Go make this right. We all know you're this big, bad dude - but it's okay to be a little sensitive towards the woman who loves you without condition!"

Bucky relented, figuring the redheaded Russian mobster was right.

The entire drive home, Bucky considered the ways you had changed in the few, short weeks since he vented to Sam and Steve about your clinginess. You didn't take meals with him, didn't cook, work-out, or do anything you used to do together. Sex? Forget it. Dates? Nope. Cuddling? No, you're always 'too hot'. And when he thought about it, he remembers seeing the wads of cash he'd leave for you stuffed in his sock drawer - surely trying to make him think it was just another emergency fund he had hidden. You never spent his money, feeling humiliated by his choice of words.

Clingy...

You didn't text or call him when he was gone, you hadn't even so much as kissed him in what felt like ages... Well, more like you hadn't initiated any kisses...

His heart weighed in his chest as he realized he hadn't even so much as hugged you in days. You were rarely in the apartment together, and when you were, you were just silent and busy with chores. It was as if you operated on the exact opposite schedule as he did, went to new extents to avoid him, and his heart clenched in his chest.

When he got home, you were caught cooking in the kitchen - being obvious that you weren't expecting him. The door slammed and his baritone voice snapped, "Peach!"

You gulped, holding the sauce-covered wooden spoon to your chest. When he rounded around the corner, he found you and slowed down, sighing in relief. "What's wrong?" You worried in a timid tone.

He panted lightly, relaying, "Needed to find you."

"I'm here."

"I know," he relented, charging up to you and engulfing you in a tight, heavy hug. "I needed to talk to you, Peach," he whispered.

"What's wrong?"

"You. You're what's wrong."

"What the fuck does that - "

"No, no," he pulled back to stare down at you fondly, "I don't mean it like that, just that... You're struggling. I can see that. But you're not alone, I'm here with you, and I got a little caught up in my head when I realized someone was so very dependent on me - it fucking scared me. But then... Then you just shut yourself off and hid away from me, and oh, my God, it's so much worse, baby. Don't do that," he breathed, "okay? Don't ever shut me out - don't stop loving me, don't stop talking to me, don't give up on us. I can't read your mind, you can't read mine, it's not an excuse - but we understand better when we trust each other enough to communicate what's required. I'm so sorry I got caught up in myself, I didn't know what you needed - but I'm here now, I'm here - I'm not leaving you."

You collapsed into his chest, taking a shuddering breath.

"Don't ever stop talking to me, Peach," Bucky whispered, kissing the top of your head; keeping you close. "I'm so sorry, baby, if I - "

"If?" You snapped, pulling back to glare at him through your tears. "I heard you, Bucky. I heard you talking to Sam and Steve, and about how clingy I am."

"I was wrong," he insisted. "I was overwhelmed and tired and just stretched thin, the easiest thing to do is attack those closest to me, and that's you. It's not right, it's the worst I could do to you after all you've been through, and I'm so sorry. I was wrong, you're not the person to take this out on - and I'm so sorry, Peach."

You sighed, "I don't mean to be... I don't mean to cling - "

"Nah," he chuckled, caressing your cheek, "you cling as much as you want. Cling as tight as you want, baby, don't let me go. I'm sorry for what I said and the way it made you feel, it was wrong - so fucking wrong of me, and I see that. When you pulled away from me, I just... I couldn't think. It felt so wrong, and I knew it was my fault." He took your face in both palms, promising, "I'm so sorry, Peach."

You shrugged meekly, "It's okay."

"It's not."

"No, but apologizing is a step in the right direction."

He nodded, "What else can I do?"

"Nothing - "

"Peach."

You paused to think, smiling shyly, "Movie night?"

"Whatever my pretty girl wants," he nodded.

"Hmm... Get a bath with me?"

"All right... Sure, okay..."

"And face masks."

He sighed, "Okay."

"And mani-pedis."

"Baby."

"You said you were making it up to me, right?"

He smirked, "That's right... All right, yeah, sure, fine, we can..." He sighed again, "We can do all that, Peach, whatever you want."

"I just want you," you told him softly. "I didn't mean to be so clingy. I was just afraid... I felt afraid everyday, just so very unsure in this life. You're the only thing that makes sense to me, Buck, and when I heard you, I just... I guess I realized how dependent I'd been and wanted to give you space. Last thing I want is to smother you, to drive you away from me."

"Not ever gonna happen," he promised softly. "I just didn't handle it like I should've. I'm sorry, Peach, but I'm here now - for whatever you need. Want me to take a few days off, just be together? I'll arrange it. Want to get away for a bit? We can go."

"I just need you," you whispered. "Only you and I should be okay - I can be okay if I have you, but feeling like I lost you? Even a fraction? Buck... James, it was such a harrowing feeling, I wasn't sure what to do to move forward. So, I think I just panicked, shut down; thought if I could just get back to normal, you'd love me again..."

"I never stopped loving you," he swore, "I just had a bad lapse in my own judgement. Nothing against you, baby. Nothing."

You nodded again, letting him tuck you into his chest; perfectly snug under his chin as he coiled his arms around you. He let out a long sigh, his guilt swelling to new heights, but for that present moment, everything seemed okay.

Felt okay.

Appeared okay.

And you'd both do whatever it took to remain as okay as you possibly could.

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel au #mob bucky barnes #mob bucky au #mob bucky x reader #mob bucky x you #mafia au #mafia bucky barnes #mafia bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes hurt/comfort

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ineffableigh · 5 months

Text

Wait what the hell is Aziraphale mouthing here. Lip-readers sound off!!

This is RIGHT before "The Metatron! I don't think he's as bad a fellow - well I think I might have misjudged him."

His line was: "I, um... [mouthing something]" THEN the above line.

This can't be nothing. Can it? "We need to get out"??? Not sure. EDIT: I agree with @maximumpenguinpuppy here, I think he's saying

"WE NEED HELP."

Further deep dive on the most painful conversation I've ever seen:

Azi makes the most INTENSE EYE CONTACT I'VE EVER SEEN during "I think I might have misjudged him."

"PLEASE HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING TO YOU RIGHT NOW."

After a few intercuts with the flashbacks we get to the really painful bit.

"He said that I could appoint you... to be an angel." His voice is so strained and high pitched even for him, here.

"Like the old times, only even NICER!"

The super nice old times where you couldn't be together at all, eh?

Crowley starts his confession and we get the "What the blazes is he doing?" face as he starts to realize Crowley is NOT picking up on any of this. Azi's breathing heavily here, revealing how very stressed the fuck out he is.

After this point is when things get really hard to interpret. Aziraphale sounds so genuine about "Come with me!" and "We can make a difference, I'll run it and you'll be my second in command." It feels like Crowley starting his very real confession broke through the charade of 'The Metatron knows something and we're in fucking danger'.

He blathers about Angels and Doing Good before breaking again, letting the "I need you!" slip. We get this HALF A SECOND look of the most profound sadness right before the "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."

"You idiot. We could have been us."

Azi looks like he can't believe just how badly this went. This is right before he looks away.

OH NO NOW I'VE SEEN CROWLEY'S FACE RIGHT WHEN HE STARTS TO GO OVER FOR THE KISS AH MY FEELS

Azi is not hiding his emotions well, right before the grab:

Then of course we get the I Forgive You, which sounds like his most bitter one yet. A flash of anger and resentment, frustration, immediately followed by remorse and grief.

Having seen all that, my best guess now is:

Metatron made the (barely) veiled De Facto Partnership threats, implying he knows about the body swap and, implicitly, threatening Crowley with Holy Water, at least to some extent.

Aziraphale tries his damnedest to communicate to Crowley that Something is Fucking Wrong and they Have to Go to Heaven to Fix It.

Crowley, having been primed by the various chats with Nina and then the 2v1 chat with Nina and Maggie RIGHT before this, clearly timed by the Metatron, fully misses all of this and takes it all at face value.

Crowley starts to give his confession and Aziraphale realizes what he's trying to say, tries to adjust his Heaven Pitch to hinge on staying together as a team to fix things."

"You cannot leave this bookshop." "Nothing lasts forever." Azi has chosen the worst way to make another attempt at saying he has no choice but to leave the bookshop. I don't think this is about the Second Coming, given his reaction to the info later.

Everything deteriorates from there as Aziraphale tries again to imply something is Fucking Wrong by going back to the "Angels! Doing good!" shtick, but it's too late. It's always too late.

"I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." He doesn't but Azi is also communicating it very badly, likely because the Metatron is indeed watching.

Crowley thinks this is all real so he gives his No Nightingales line, etc etc. Aziraphale can tell there's no fixing this, gives up.

Crowley swoops in with The Kiss as a last ditch effort to get Azi to listen. Azi WAS listening, but cannot respond other than in anger and frustration that Crowley, in his view, refuses to listen to him again, has called him an idiot again. This happens multiple times throughout the show so there's history to fuel that assumption.

This is the precise outcome the Metatron was vying for, to split them up and emotionally/psychologically weaken them, to ensure there was no chance of a united front as there was for Armageddidn't.

My heart hurts, ow.

#aziraphale #crowley #the metatron #ineffable divorce #ineffable husbands #good omens meta

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dduane · 6 months

Note

Hope this isn't an ask you get all the time, but how do you track your progress when you're doing editing?

Everyone talks about word goals, and that seems fine for a first draft, but doesn't make sense to me when it comes to revisions. Do you have any kind of system for setting daily goals for your revisions?

Actually, I don't think anyone's ever asked me about this. :) So no sweat.

Briefly: I think you're wise in not attempting wordcounting in this phase of dealing with an MS—or trying to push yourself into a structure so rigid. ...There's this, too: there's a whole lot too much emphasis out there at the moment on trying to force yourself into other people's writing and editing paradigms—so many of them riddled with bar graphs and "demonstrable" daily progress. You need to find what works for you. More words dealt with in a day, sure, that's encouraging in its way. But are they the right words?

Today’s Writer Take that will probably strike some as Hot (and ask me if I care): Some kinds of writing progress are just neither graphically nor numerically quantifiable. And damned to the least TripAdvisorally-acceptable regions of [insert your preferred underworld here] be those who’ve tried to sell people the idea that they are.

(sigh)

Now, for what it's worth: here's how I do it. Which may be useful to other people, or not so much so. And that's fine, because I'm not editing their novels. :)

(Adding a break here. Under the cut: advice + advice = advice, and some images of text I shouldn't be letting y'all see just yet... but WTF.)

Revision for me is a fairly relaxed business—unless my editor has told me WE NEED THIS ON TUESDAY, which thank sweet Thoth on his e-bike is very rare.

It also helps that I like revising. (When I was a kid, I liked liver, too. And spinach. Just call me Miss Outlier and let's move on.) I really enjoy the feeling of the work’s rough edges being filed down and the sparse places being filled out.

And also: second draft/first revision draft is nowhere near as tense for me as first draft. Because, thank God, at least there's a book.

First draft is where I sweat blood and otherwise suffer. While I can see the story just fine in my head, it's not really real for me until the first draft, whole in narrative and action, is complete on paper/in the machine. And till it's achieved at least that level of reality, I can't relax.

But by the time I hit my second/revision draft, I can be confident that any really serious problems in the novel have already been solved—because I'm an outliner. In the outline stage, potential thematic or structural troubles will routinely have revealed themselves way long ago: before drafting even got started, as I first wired the story's bones together. The successfully-executed first draft acts as proof-of-concept for that structural wiring. By the time that draft’s done, it’s immediately apparent whether the skeleton can successfully stand up by itself. And gods is that a relief when it does! You’re tempted to jump around yelling “It's aliiiiiive!" as the lightning strikes around you.*

However, if after submitting that draft my editor's found something structurally or thematically troublesome in it that I've completely missed until this point, my first order of business becomes to fix whatever their notes involve and submit the fixes. Nothing further happens until the editor sees what I've done about those problems, and until I get agreement that whatever intervention I've enacted has now sorted the problems out.

After that, everything happens in bed.

(...casually noting that for a line to use somewhere else...) :)

But seriously: I do my best revision and editing before getting up in the morning.

Some of this is because, for me, the mind's nice and quiet and (theoretically) at least moderately well rested, right after sleep. I might take the briefest glance at my email first to make sure nothing urgent needs attention... but once that’s done, I refuse to let myself go any further down that hole. That early-morning calm is a mental state I'm glad to exploit, and one I jealously guard. On days when I'm forced to do without the working lie-in**, I use a different approach: when there's a pause, sit down and do nothing—no reading, no video, no music, no phone, nothing—for half an hour: then start editing. Routinely, the quiet I need will once more have fallen.

The in-bed-editing approach also works for me because (since I'm working in Scrivener) it's absolutely no big deal to finish a day's editing on a file by exporting a version of the file containing the day's edits to ebook format, and into my Dropbox. From there, in the morning, without ever getting out from under the covers, I can pull that .epub file into my tablet and read it as an ebook, making corrections and notes there.

This is what it looks like (on a page without too many corrections) if the app you're using is "Books" in an iPad. The second image is what you get when you touch on the marginal yellow square of the note to examine it.

Then, when I'm finished looking over the previous day's/evening's writing and adding notes to it, I go downstairs, get some caffeine in me, and make the changes in the main Scrivener file. (If I was running the project in question on the iPad version of Scrivener, I'd just make the change right there. But who knows when I'd actually get up, then? Better to do it this way.) :)

In the normal flow of things I'll attempt to deal with a chapter or two a day in this mode. (Always bearing in mind that my chapters in early drafts typically run long—often 10K or so—and I'm likely enough to rebreak them later.) This first level of revision is the easy one: catching typos and bad or clumsy phrasings, reworking character interactions that need smoothing out; adding better descriptive passages (with particular emphasis on staying in the visual, audio and tactile senses), etc., etc.

So again: no way I'd ever bother worrying about word counts, with these. What seems to count for more is giving yourself time to recognize, gradually, at a reader's pace, what's working in the prose and what isn't. Rush—or try to force the pace to a given number of words per day—and you run the risk of missing something vital. To me, at the tracking level, it seems sufficient to note which chapters have been dealt with, and which are still hanging fire. (I can change the chapters' color labels in Scrivener to make this status visible at a glance, if I need to.)

When everything's dealt with on this pass—which if I'm lucky will take no more than a couple/few weeks—I try to take a couple weeks off before dealing with the MS again. Sometimes that's possible: sometimes not. The longer you can leave the book alone to let your perceptions of it rest and reset themselves, the better. Distance—mental or temporal—seems to lend clarity.

In any case, for me, next comes another pass, tougher to describe. Casually, I refer to it as the "Missed Opportunities/Complications" pass. This is a thing that one of the very best writers I know, John M. Ford, used to do. One of his editors (I think it was) came across him working on an MS one time, and asked him what he was doing. "Complications," Mike muttered. "Removing them?" said his editor. Mike shook his head. "Adding them," he said.

In this pass you look for in-novel connections you've previously missed making. Some dramatic moments have their impact significantly increased if you've found a way to connect them, even casually, with previous events, situations, character thoughts, or dialogue. (The cheap and easy mnemonic for this kind of thing: "Say a thing twice, and it echoes. Say it three times, and it resonates.")

Equally, events (and people) may turn out to require more complex backstory than you've given them in your first draft; so this is where you take care of that. And of course there are almost certainly character and emotional interactions that can use attention; fewer words, more depth, more complexity. What things do these people, in this situation, need to say to one another that they haven't? And also, what drama got scamped or passed up on because you were just too damn tired in the last draft? —Because you too, poor baby, are human; and that state can, entirely logically, make you want not to deal with any more damn drama just now. Even though drama is the lifeblood of your narrative, usually, and tying a tourniquet around it really doesn't help. You are the conduit of power into your narrative, and your varying ability to conduct it is always an issue… so you need to keep an eye open for places where the flow may have temporarily failed.

This pass, ideally, might take no more than another few weeks or a month. And again, I'm not sure any attempt at wordcount tracking would do this work any good. Because, again... are they the right words? And to make the narrative more effective, you may wind up removing as many words as you added in previous passes.

Finally, with all things taken together, I usually reach a point where (by myself, anyway) I can't think of anything to do that'll make this book any better. That's where there then comes—and again, impossible to assign a word count to it—a time when you know you're as Done As You Can Be. If you've been doing this long enough, you may even hear a strange kind of sigh in the back of your head, as the book gives up and lets go...

...into the next stage of production. But even then you keep an eye on it… because in my experience it’s rare that any book's ever that easily just finished. Even in page proofs, something may happen to surprise you.

Anyway, that's when I throw the book the hell out of the house—because no matter how much I've loved it previously, by that time I'm usually seriously tired of it—and wait to see whether the editor feels it needs one more draft. (Disclosure: this has never happened. There might be a few notes that need to be handled. But another full draft? Never yet.)

Anyway: hope this is of help to you.

But the heart of it all? Find your own way, and screw the bar graphs.

*That line, too, is an indicator of trouble to come. "It's?" Not "he's"? Tsk tsk.

**Usually sort of 7-9 AM. Sometimes way earlier, depending on the time of year. Dawn comes real early in the summertime in Ireland…

#writing advice #revisions

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iznsfw · 11 months

Text

The Devil's Telephone

IVE's An Yujin x Male Reader Smut

6969 words

Categories | model!Yujin x photojournalist!you, rough sex

Barely edited. Who cares, I did great.

"Is it true? What they say about you?"

You're nervous, fidgeting in the king-sized bed with your arm leaning against the mattress. It feels odd to be in a rich and attractive girl's place without being naked. Not that it's something you've experienced before anyway, but it's like breaking an unspoken law everyone but you was oriented to. But you have your manners, and so does she. Supposedly.

She's still beside you, her expensive clothes hiding not her shapely form. And to think it looks beautiful without the need for oil painting all around it or nakedness. That pretty smile, that also intimidates you a little, is the cherry on top of the cake that is An Yujin.

Speaking of, there's one right now between her lips. She's toying with its strand of a twig, tracing the cherry she got from the bowl beside her bed along the pink hills of her luscious mouth.

"After everything I did," Yujin says, "what do you think?"

"I don't really…" Struggle to find your words. "I, I don't really dwell on—"

"If I'm a slut or not?" Yujin finishes for you, smiling teasingly.

This conversation's a mistake, now that she's using words about a subject you tried to tread on lightly. "Look, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I'm sorry."

"No offense taken. I get it."

Yujin lifts herself off her comfortable lounge position on her bed and instead sits on the backsides of her legs. Her hands are on your lap rather than her own. Should've been a sign for you that this is going nowhere but in a downward spiral.

"You want to know if the rumors are true? If nepo model An Yujin's really a slut, like they all say?"

"Uh… sure?"

Yujin gestures her chin to your crotch. "Whip out your dick. Then you'll see."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I'm not," says Gaeul. "Say that one more time and your career's over. No going back."

The small smile that's an everyday accessory to her features is gone. That tells you that what she says is what there is to her statement. What you hear is what you get. There's no underlying tone to it; she's completely serious, and besides, when has Gaeul ever lied?

Wring the looped lace of your camera over your head and place it and the device that can make or break your career on her desk. "Nope," you say. "I'm not doing it."

"You will," Gaeul says. "Nobody else will do it."

"Can't you get Jiwon to show up there?" It's worth a try, right?

"Like I said, no chance. Rei's with her on vacation. And Yunjin is out of the question."

"God fucking dammit."

Looks like this day can actually get worse. First, you miss the taxi going to the studio, ending up being about an hour late to your meeting. And then the nervous intern almost spilled coffee all over your camera. Luckily, the scalding liquid only ended up mostly on your pressed shirt. It's like the day is toying with your feelings, trying to see how far you can get without breaking down.

Your eye twitches. The day might see your breaking point after all.

"Gaeul," you say, "I'm a photojournalist, not a fucking Seattle professional."

"And so are a quarter of the people who go to the fashion week," she counters. Gaeul exhales through her nostrils, then leans forward on her desk, hands folded. "All you have to do is stand in for Chaewon and take the photos for each model. Don't worry about the caption."

"How'll I know what they're wearing?"

"I can do that for you. I'm quite the fashion enthusiast, if I do say so myself."

You don't see the sense in it, like, at all. "Then why don't you go take the photos?"

"Because I don't want to, newbie," replies Gaeul simply. She swings her legs over the table and places her palms behind her neck. "You can sit here all day whining about I'm-a-photojourn-this and I-can't-do-it-that, but you're still going to go through."

Gaeul's a rather straightforward girl, yet she can still make her blunt words sound frightening. You have to show that you can hold your own, too, and that you're not going to back up. Ever.

"And why do you think I'll give in so easily?" you challenge.

She smiles. "Because An Yujin's going to be there, and unless you live under a fucking rock, you'd know she's the main attraction."

You aren't dumb. Of course you know her. It’s impossible not to know of her when the magazines all scream her name and the camera flashes crave her presence. It’s hard to navigate life without at least seeing a Yujin standee for one of the brands she sponsors or her face on soju labels. She’s become a household name that, even if you somehow wished it to be the other way, she's become an inescapable force in every Korean’s life. That’s just how it works. It’s been like that for as long as you remember.

She rose up in the industry at a young age. Being her age, you can remember the buzz she creates among your classmates, from head-over-heels, hopeless romantic boys and adoring girls (and a few girls who'd die to be able to touch her, too.) She's on their phone wallpapers, in another cutesie pose, and on the photocards in the back of clear cases. She's here, she's there, she's everything everywhere.

You're familiar with her, but nothing about her except the usual: she's a model, she's an idol, she's a—

Ah, how should it go?

The girl beside you at the event, who's rather tall and if circumstances were different should be on the runway herself, tells you it goes like this: "She's an international free-use backstabbing slut."

Well, you didn't expect Kazuha to say that so easily (she told you her name earlier just so you had something to call her during the mandatory small talk), but you know what she's talking about. However, you have no right to say Yujin's a slut when you're dressed… well, dressed like this. Your whole outfit is an embarrassing array of rainbow colors. Even your tie's pulled into passiveness by the colorful dress code. If this is what those high fashion enthusiasts call "fashion," you're glad you're not a part of them. You'll be glad to keep shopping at your local thrift store.

Hence, "I wouldn't put it that way," you say.

Kazuha smirks. "How would you say it?" she asks.

Why is she so interested in what you think about her? You suspect Kazuha's one of those girls who's rather jealous of the stick-figure models strutting the runway but would deny it with all her soul. Maybe that's it. She's jealous that she sits there in the audience while perfection after perfection makes themselves known to the public.

"She's…" You snap a pic of another eighty-pound model walking down the runway. "Uh, promiscuous. That's all."

Kazuha grins. She purses her lips and writes down on her notepad, probably intending to use your statement as a headline pun. "Maybe we should switch jobs," she says. "You can be the devil's advocate journalist, and I can be the white knight photographer."

Exhale loudly. For fuck's sake, you want to tell her, I'm only here to do the job I didn't want in the first place. Why has she chosen you to play with to fulfill her boredom? Whatever game she's set, you're not joining.

"Look, what is it about Yujin that you hate?" you ask.

"She fucked Jang Wonyoung, those MCs she used to partner up with, that actress from the period drama who was on Produce, too… everybody."

"Okay." You look at her pointedly. "Source?"

Kazuha gestures a rude index to the runway. "Look at her. Look at her and tell me she isn't a slut. I dare you."

You look up from the lens of your camera for once, and as much as you'd like to come to Yujin’s defense, seeing as there’s no evidence to all those allegations and being a public figure with all the criticism must be the deepest ring of hell, you see what Kazuha means.

You hate to say it, and you’d love to pass no judgment, but the prodding journalist is right. Yujin isn't skin and bones like the other models, nor does she wear light makeup. However, her confident gaze that not once settles on the floor immediately makes you think, wow, now that is a model. She only looks forward, stepping onto the smooth floor in heels that make her much taller than she already is. Her eyes are lined with this sharp, blaring dark that makes her brown contacts stand out and makes her look like a black cat. So much for Jiwon’s nickname.

But that isn’t all. It’s far from done, because it’s not Yujin’s arrogant smile that drips of sultriness that confirms Kazuha's allegations for you, nor is it her makeup. It’s what she’s wearing. Her chest nearly spills out of the oddly-cut neckline of her blouse, and it’s see-through, meaning that even if her busty figure is in some way contained by the clothing, you can still see everything. For example, her tummy lined with her abs and a small tattoo (barely noticeable, but enough to cause a few tabloids to freak out); her wide hips, and of course; the bare flesh of her breasts. The fabric tape does nothing to hide them when her brown nipples beg to be seen through the fabric. Each bounce coerced by her confident strut is out there for all to see, and so are the jiggles of her full thighs.

Which part of everything do you have to immortalize in a photograph? You don’t know. You just keep taking pictures. There’s plenty enough to create a video of her walk without actually having to record one.

Seeing your dropped jaw, Kazuha grins satisfactorily. “Told you,” she says.

You aren’t done looking, though. As the press and audience scream her name, (they all know her name—she’s bagged so many brand deals, shot more than enough magazine covers, and performed songs you couldn’t count on two hands just so that any type of audience can recognize her), Yujin steps up to the end of the catwalk. She smiles at all the attention, setting a hand on her waist before blowing several kisses to the audience.

And, of course, she finishes off her umpteenth walk with another scandal:

Shredding her blouse into pieces. Yujin rips it clean from the seams, letting the lost dangle of fabric finally reveal the whole of her chest. Her skimpy shorts are the only thing remaining complete on herself.

The viewers gasp, and you do, too. But you're hypocrites, the lot of you, for you remain interested in scanning every bit of her enviable body. Secretly, you all know that some part of you were looking there even before her blouse ripped.

You haven’t seen a model do that before, but then again, she’s not just a model. She’s plenty of things: a singer, an idol, an ambassador—

A slut. A full-on, shameless, lives-up-to-her-name slut.

“So.”

“So,” you say, resentfully. Your camera’s in your bag, and Gaeul is on the phone with you. You’re proceeding out of the vicinity like everybody else. It's eight p.m.; someone’s bound to be hungry at this hour, and that someone is you.

You can hear the giggle in her voice as she asks you, “What do you think?”

“What do I think?” you say, flabbergasted. Zip up your satchel bag and walk through the rain. “Gaeul, the girl just ripped her shirt off in front of everyone! This isn’t what I signed up for!”

What should you get tonight? Minute Burger? Maybe McDonald’s or some sushi? You’d take anything—you’re pretty hungry after the long show. If this is how hunger hits after shows, you’re glad you don’t have to go through the whole fashion week. By Saturday, you’d be as dead as everyone was after the stunt Yujin pulled.

“I thought you knew about her, newbie,” replies Gaeul. She’s clearly poking fun at your reaction. What’s also clear is the obvious fact that she picked you out for this job just to see how you’d handle it. Would you go crazy? Treat Yujin as a Victorian man who’d just seen a lady’s ankles would? Oh, she’d love to find out.

“I didn’t know she was…"

"Yeah?"

"B-bold.”

“Oh, please be normal about it. You’re a photojournalist. You handled the dead guy who was stabbed alright, but a woman showing her tits is where you cross the line?”

“It’s not that,” you say tiredly. Your stomach is really growling now. “I guess… I think…”

"Hey."

Your phone drops to the wet cement road. Like a haunting phantom, Yujin appears out of nowhere. It's like she suddenly materialized from the fog of the storm.

You don't know where to look. Yujin's still dressed, (somewhat), in her ruined blouse. The thing is even more transparent as the rain beats down on it. Still, she looks perfect. She is perfect. You know that without having to be a fan of her.

The light from a camera hidden in a beaten bush makes you flinch. If the crouched man in black taking photos of Yujin isn't there, you'd have accepted your fate to get struck by lightning. Yujin raises her eyebrows questioningly, and you're forced to compose yourself once more.

"Uh, hi," you stammer. Bend down to pick your sodden phone up. Darn it, it's dead. How will you contact Gaeul now?

"You're one of the photographers, right?" asks Yujin. Unlike you, she doesn't care that your phone has met its end, or mind that her boobs are out in the open.

You mutter something of agreement, but you're still tinkering with your phone. The battery's probably broken, which's a pity when your late mother gifted it to you on the last birthday you had together.

"Damn, must be nice to snap photos of a half-naked chick, huh? You liked seeing me up there?"

That makes you stop fiddling with your destroyed gadget. "I," you say, cornered into confession but still trying to gather a burst of energy to escape, "I'm not—"

"An Yujin," she says, as if the whole world doesn't scream her name. As if she were just another girl out there who's a little too friendly. She doesn't offer her hand; she grasps yours and shakes it firmly.

You have no other choice but to be acquainted with her there and then. You tell her your name, albeit nervously, as you slip your phone into your pocket. What is she planning? Why is she out here with you?

Yujin grins. "Nice to meet you. Want to come to a party at my house? Starts when we get there."

Now you understand what she's planning. What else would you expect from her?

First things first, though: where should you look? Her chest is a dangerous option. To look or not to look? That is the question—you choose the second option. Note the dim stars in the foggy sky. Look down at the road blotted with raindrops. Remark inwardly about the state of your shoes and how they're too expensive to be dragged through a weather like this.

Second, should you go? Gaeul would be looking for you. She'd want the pics immediately so she could put them in the magazine and on your company blog site. But you haven't had fun in years, and for a girl with the wealth and status of Yujin, it might be a new beginning.

Work, however, comes first.

"I'm sorry," you tell her. You really are. Yujin seems like a fun girl outside of her wildness. "I don't think I—"

"Great! Come on, I'll drive you!"

That's how you end up in a limousine for the first time in your life and learn that An Yujin doesn't take no for an answer.

The seats are dark and soft, and there's two long aisles of it for thirty pax max to occupy. However, despite the spaciousness, Yujin still chooses to sit snugly beside you. Should you feel flattered? Intimidated? You struggle to choose for this question.

You wonder where you're headed. The infamous Jang Hills where celebrities like singer Son Seungwan and model and humanitarian Jang Wonyoung, who owns the place, reside? The rain is too strong for you to be able to see where the vehicle's headed, but you suspect that's the destination. There's no other.

"So," says Yujin. She's still sitting comfortably beside you. Her smile dimples her cheeks, and it just doesn't match the boldness of her ripped blouse. When she wears that smile, she looks like a girl who's too cheerful and innocent to be… the way she is. "Would I have to pay you to see my photos?"

"For god's sake, Miss An, put on some clothes before you scare the guy," chuckles the driver, shaking his head. He's a tall, dark man with the typical shades and a rosary on his rearview mirror. You wonder if he prays for Yujin sometimes.

"But that's no fun," she says, the pout on her face growing wider when her driver tosses her a black fur coat (that still reminds you of her when you note how the chest part is gone) and sleeveless innerwear. Seems like he keeps clothes in his car for situations like these. "Clothes are so big and boring, you know. Totally outdated.

"Anyway, about the photos…?"

"Oh, you don't have to pay," you tell her. But you know that money isn't a problem with Yujin—she can buy you and your whole life if she chose to.

"Gimme then." She makes grabby hands, and your camera eventually ends up in them. Her eyes sparkle with narcissistic adoration. "Oh damn, I look hot. Delete this, though. Bad angle."

"I– okay."

"My tits look amazing, don't you think? Come on, say my tits look fantastic."

"Ms. An," says the driver firmly, albeit his tone holds some of the amusement in it still. "Put on some clothes."

Yujin rolls her eyes, but she does. And you watch as she strips, painfully slow. She pulls the soaked blouse above her wet body, showing her bare, beautiful arms and pits. Even her soft midriff is perfect. And, try as you may (must), you can't stop looking. Several snaps and pinches would be too weak to pull you back into reality, because there's the goddess that she is to look at. You figure out now why your former classmates were and still are obsessed with her. She may be a wild little thing, but she's got an amazing body, an amazing fashion sense. Everything about her, even her boldness, is enviable. Desirable. Unreachable.

The clothes mold to her beautiful shape. The damp, slightly messy hair only adds to her beauty. You can feel yourself getting warm.

"We're here," says Yujin cheerfully, oblivious to the way your eyes are raking down her perfect body. "Here's your camera. Wouldn't want it to break like your phone. Pity."

Getting up to open the car door isn't part of a wealthy girl's everyday life. Yujin isn’t an exception—she has her driver to do that plus assist her out of the limo, and when he does, you're welcomed into a whole new world.

The rain has halted. Signs of its earlier presence, however, can be seen on the drops on the maze of bushes. There's statues of Eros, gray and mighty with his strong arms and arrows, perched on pedestals to the entrance of the mansion. Through the gate, you catch sight of a large pool, where heiresses and friends of Yujin laugh and swim. It's no land for lowlives. You are the exception, somehow.

"This… this is your house?"

"Yep!” She nods positively. “Daddy gave it to me after he died from a heart attack."

"My condolences," you say. As the guards open the gate to Yujin's mansion, you admire the place. It looks like a temple for cupids. Perhaps it’s Yujin they’re worshiping. "Did he have heart conditions before that?"

"No." She shakes her head then waves happily to one of her friends at the pool. "He just saw me wearing a bra over my crop top, and he dropped dead."

You snort. Yujin looks at you weirdly. That's how you realize she isn't kidding.

"You're serious?"

She opens her mouth to say something, but forgets it. It's a long story that doesn't need more sequels.

Just the second drink of the night and you’ve met more celebrities than an average person would see personally in their whole life. As the dazzling disco ball shimmers rainbow colors all over the place, you catch sight of more than plenty of pretty and handsome faces. Over there is Jang Wonyoung, one of the models who walked earlier, and Miyawaki Sakura, a famous CEO of more beauty lines than you can count on ten fingers. Whether their beauties are handcrafted or God-given, they all have something in common: they’re all A-listers—they’re relevant, popular, used to this wild lifestyle. Camera flashes have trained them not to flinch at the gliding lights. This is an everyday routine in their book.

However, you’re used to being behind the camera, not in front of it. You’re overstimulated by the sea of laughing, moving bodies and the loud music. While Yujin happily screams and downs several shots, you stand idly beside her, dizzy and tired.

“I don’t think I can handle more.”

“Past your bedtime?” asks Yujin, grinning. She waves at Wonyoung and points at you, mouthing something to her, to which the model winks in response. You wonder what kind of exchange the two models had that granted an unusually smug look on Wonyoung’s face. You’re certain it’s about you, but you don’t know what it’s about. You’re not even sure if you want to discover it.

“It’s not that,” you say embarrassedly. “I’m… I’m not a party person. I get lightheaded easily.”

“Wanna take a break? Go to my room?”

Now that’s a red flag. It doesn't even try to hide its true color; it waves proudly in front of you. You’re the bull who went straight for it.

Yujin’s bedroom is the size of your living room, with a large bed to match. Curtained pillars stand on each end while posters hang off the walls. You suppose that the people on them are the ones Yujin looks up to: IU, known as Lee Jieun whenever she ventures out of singing and into acting; Marilyn Monroe (no explanation needed), and a few other nameless models and actresses. A lot are old posters of seventies’ pornographic films. Lights frame the mirror on the dresser table.

“You’re a privileged girl, miss An,” you say. It’s the only way you can respectfully say that she’s kind of a spoiled brat. But maybe that’s your jealousy talking.

“I know, right?” replies Yujin, twirling around. “And please, call me Yujin. You can sit on the bed if you want to.”

Your mind toys with the idea of the posters on her wall debating if you’re the hundredth person to have come over or the thousandth. Nevertheless, you want to stay neutral; it’s none of your business anyway. So you take a seat on the edge of the softest mattress you’ve ever felt while Yujin does so, too. She kicks her boots off on the carpeted floor.

“Hey,” says Yujin, “want to play a game before you doze off?”

Just how many red flags does this girl have? “Er, sure.” You shrug. Maybe it’s just a game, nothing more, like she said.

“Since we barely know each other, let’s take turns asking each other questions. Dibs on the first question.

“I haven’t seen you in shows before. How did you end up there?”

A safe start. “One of my coworkers was sick,” you explain. “I had to fill in for her. My turn.”

“Hit me.”

“Did you take modeling classes?”

Yujin laughs as if it was the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “God, no,” she says. “Classes and workshops are scams. All I had to do was ask my daddy to ask for a spot for me.”

“Must be nice.”

“Right? Did you take classes for photography?”

“I took one of the scams, yeah,” you say, earning a giggle from Yujin. “I’m a journalist first. It’s all I know.”

Meaningful silence fills the air. You remain hooked on your sentence, realizing how true it is. Photojournalism is the only thing you’re good at. It’s sheltered you and brought you so many opportunities at the same time. You don’t know how to find other hobbies to make your forte when you’re stuck in its bubble, and its bubble only. Without your camera, you’re nothing. Without people like Yujin to take photos of, you’re nothing, too.

You suppose you should break the heavy silence. But you’re unsure if your question should be asked; it might trigger a violent response from her, although she’s been nothing but laid-back with you. And you don’t particularly want a rich girl to ruin your career. You’ve gone so far that the only direction to look at is forward.

But you must learn to take risks.

"Is it true? What they say about you?"

Speaking of, there's one right now between her lips. She's toying with its strand of a twig, tracing the cherry she got from the bowl beside her bed along the pink hills of her luscious mouth.

"After everything I did," Yujin says, "what do you think?"

"I don't really…" Struggle to find your words. "I, I don't really dwell on—"

"If I'm a slut or not?" Yujin finishes for you, smiling teasingly.

This conversation's a mistake, now that she's using words about a subject you tried to tread on lightly. "Look, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I'm sorry."

"No offense taken. I get it."

"You want to know if the rumors are true? If nepo model An Yujin's really a slut, like they all say?"

"Uh… sure?"

Yujin gestures her chin to your crotch. "Whip out your dick. Then you'll see."

You’re flustered. Did Yujin—this tall, alluring model that’s got her whole life ahead of her yet nothing to lose, this irritatingly attractive Yujin—really say that to you? Or was it something lost in the swarms of shouts and music from outside of the room? Maybe you’ve misheard. Maybe you’ll keep playing safe tonight.

But those are just mere maybes with no connection at all to what’s about to happen.

“Can’t do it yourself, pretty boy? Let me help you.”

Yujin lifts your satchel bag from your shoulders. You find yourself raising your arms to help her. It’s like the what and tension in the air have infected you and made you into this heated, lustful character far from the real you, because if this were truly your own self, you’d say you had a career. You’d say this shouldn’t be happening. You’d leave the room instead of helping her unbuckle your belt. You’d do anything but this.

Perhaps she’s changed you.

Yujin slips a tongue along the path of her luscious lips at the sight of your bare thighs and cock. “Our friend here,” she says, “needs a little help from me, no?”

“Yujin…” you moan, and it’s humiliating, especially when barely anything sexual has happened yet. At least, anything sexually physical.

Luckily for you, she curls her fist around your dick and gives justification to your breathy sounds. Maybe the rumors about how she likes to get around are true; Yujin knows how to work her way with a cock. Her warm fingers jerk your flesh at just the right timing, letting the hardness build up before doing that too with the pace. She’s looking at you with this wild desire in her eyes that grows bigger when your erection does, too. Oh, and that smile—if looks could kill, An Yujin would already be arrested for your murder.

“Now that’s not so bad, is it?” she remarks. She spits on your cock. Her wet saliva coats your length with just enough to let her smooth palm slide along itself pleasurably. “You like this? Just wait until you feel my pussy. Or maybe my lips would do first? The higher ones, I mean.”

Yujin’s lips descend onto your shaft, welcoming it into an impossibly soft and wet heaven. Yujin’s little tongue flicks at your base gently, even daring to lick at a little part of your balls before working their way up. It deliciously slides upwards at your veins.

“Fuck, Yujin. Your mouth—fuck, it feels so good.”

“Mmm.” Yujin engages in an open-mouthed, sloppy kiss with your tip. “I know. I’d fuck me, too, if I could, but I have you to do that.”

“Right,” you say breathily, because she is. If she’s sucking your cock this well and her cheek’s painfully stimulating as your cockhead brushes it, how much better would her pussy be? You’re definitely fucking her, even if your experience in this is zero. Yes, that’s also right: you’re a virgin. Zero experience, no bitches.

But, if it means anything, it’s the other way around. It’s Yujin making you her bitch. She may be serving you with the lips and kisses of a good girl, but her eyes tell you that there’s more to it than you think. You’re hers, see, for this night, and that’s all you ever will be. You’re no photojournalist anymore—you’re Yujin’s one night stand, and that’s the only achievement people will ever remember to your name.

“These’re so fucking full,” murmurs Yujin as she admires your heavy balls. Sucking on them lightly before smiling up at you, she adds, “Make sure to blow all of it in my face, ‘kay? Promise me.”

“Think you can handle it, Yujin?” you ask, and it’s another embarrassing moment you’ll relive forever, for your cockiness will never get on the level she has. Your voice shakes too hard and your cock drips too much—it’s clear who owns who at this point.

“I’m a big girl.” Unfazed, she smiles. “I can handle myself.”

“Y-you sure?”

“Oh, don’t play hard to get it, baby,” Yujin coos. She pleases you with one hand and glides her fingers on your thigh with the other. It’s deadly. She’s deadly. “Let your guard down. It’s just me.”

“And you’ve said that to how many people?” you shoot back.

“More than you’re worth,” she quips. She winks at you. “Now cum for me.”

Ouch, but it doesn’t matter when her lips provide a great suction to cool the burn. It’s making your cock feel the heat instead, forming the tightness in your stomach more. Her hands massaging your thighs causes your sensitivity to reach an all-time high. Yujin’s covered your shaft in such an amountful that just one lick sends your toes curling. She licks, she sucks, she laps at your weak spots and delights in the upward push of your hips, but her hands keep your legs down. Can’t have her meal escaping. She wants all of your cum, and when Yujin wants (no, needs) something, she gets it. It’s how she’s navigated life, having everything her heart could ever want brought to her by whim. But if she has to work for your cum, then so be it. Either-which-way, she’s not giving up until she gets it.

She kisses your cock deeply, almost making your lips jealous. She sucks on each sensitive side and your dripping tip. What takes the cake, though, is how she downs the whole thing so suddenly, slipping itself inside her tight throat and letting you fuck it. Gasps can’t be contained by your pursed lips, and their cycle of repetition continues because of her. Because of Yujin, Yujin and her stupidly desirable mouth.

“Fuck,” you whine. When she hears that, she pulls away. Like rain, drops of semen make slick landings on her face. You keep expelling several shots of the thing she so desperately wants, and you realize that, even with your own pleasure being fulfilled, you’re still serving Yujin. You’re still giving her what she wants: your cum on her face. The fact that she’s playing with you remains stoic.

“Ah, this is the best.” Yujin licks her cumstained lips. “I could have swallowed it all like I did with these cherries here, but I can’t let it spoil the main course.”

“W-which is?” you inquire, still panting. Can you handle more?

You find out through Yujin taking off her black vest. Then, she slips out of her jean skirt. It hugs her lower figure so nicely that it nearly makes you mourn their departure, but you find a better thing to gawk at, and it’s Yujin’s ass and thighs. She may have dressed earlier, but the panties were off. She cares not for modesty, even outside of the modeling industry. It’s just not who she is.

For that, you’re glad. If Yujin were modest, you wouldn’t have had the chance to see her fat ass and shaven pussy up close. You wouldn’t get to see her sway her hips side to side, letting you see from behind how her ass ripples and bounces, or let you peer at her dripping thighs.

"You're weaker than all the others," Yujin notes. "I like it."

Should you be offended? Probably, but you aren't, because there's her approval. There's her saying that she likes how easily you break. There's her on the bed with her pussy spread by her fingers, revealing her tiny hole and needy clit.

There's a lot to look at is what you're saying, and a lot to take in consideration. For example—

"Ohhhh, fuck," moans Yujin. She rubs her core and gets a feel of how wet she is. "I'm so wet, see? I'm so, fuck, wet from blowing you."

Yujin leans against one of the pillars of her bed. What makes the sight of her masturbating hotter is that she's still covered in the face with cum that soon drips down her neck and onto her collarbone. She looks like she's been used incessantly, to the point where no amount of cock or finger can help her reach a good enough high. Although you're still sensitive, you begin to jack yourself off to her.

"Shit. Ohhh." Her head tosses backwards and she shuts her eyes. "This feels so good. Make me feel even better. Use your mouth."

It's all about what she wants, but you find out that you also want to put your mouth on her. Stop jerking off to kneel on the floor and place your hands on her thick thighs. You have no idea how to do this except from porn, but she moans loudly when you flick your tongue upwards, so you must be doing well.

Yujin's so wet that she dribbles on her expensive sheets. The feminine scent of her drives you crazy. Due to that, you pick up the pace of eating Yujin out. She's delicious. Better than any expensive meal you got going out.

"Oh, fuck," mewls Yujin. She grinds her clit down on the flat of your tongue. "That's it. Eat me out like that."

Next, guide your tongue to her slit, catching the juices she has. Push it inside, make her thighs suddenly clamp around your head. Painful, but worth it, because as useful as her makeshift earmuffs are, you can still make out her heavy moans.

“G-good, god, so good. Don’t you stop, don’t you fucking stop.”

“I won’t.”

The force of your mouth holds nothing back as it holds Yujin’s nub captive. She pulses in your mouth, and you can sense that she’s close because she’s screaming. She's squirming, she's writhing, she's—

“Stop.”

“But I, I thought you said—” You were having such a good time, too. Why did she have to ruin it?

Yujin giggles. “I wanted to cum on your cock,” she confesses. Sweat rolls down the sides of her face. “Let me?”

She’s subtly assertive like that, asking you first before making you do it anyway. She’s so used to getting her way, so used to letting people bend reality into the form she wants. And you’re becoming one of those people, as you lie down on the bed and let her mount you. You don’t suppose anyone would refuse either—her splayed lips rubbing your tip seems like a good thing to have in exchange for being under her ownership.

“Fuck,” you curse. Maybe this is better, in hindsight. Her hole grasps for you, but she teases it by only letting her clit glide along your cock. “Miss An, ah, Yujin, you’re so—”

“Pretty? Successful? Tight?” She sinks down on your dick with a smirk that differs from your weakened look of bliss. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

They’re all perfect adjectives to describe her, but you weigh in the most on the last. Her soaked slit swallows you without time to properly take it in. She just keeps bouncing on you, a millisecond going unspared, as if she’d die if your cock weren’t ramming in her all times of the day. By her desperate moans, you think you’re right. They’re heavy, hanging onto your mind for too long that it just makes you throb harder inside.

You reach up to grab her tits. The bra-like innerwear she dons blocks you from experiencing the whole of it, and Yujin takes that into consideration, through which she pulls it up her arms and off herself. Her bust now moves up and down freely, looped in your mind like a constant reminder of how lucky you are to have Yujin fuck you. She may get around a lot, but whoever she fucks is like her: a hell of a catch.

You lift yourself up to suck on their brown nipples. She moans ferally. Her pushing your head deeper into her tits is how you realize you’ve wanted to do this, to suck and play and slap her chest, ever since you saw them be set free on the runway. It’s funny how two mounds of flesh can hypnotize you just like that. You’re trying to defeat the impulse actions they convince you to do, as if they were spiritual entities on your shoulder each to twist your decisions. But both are devils—even from their source, it’s clear that An Yujin is no angel.

“Yes, so good!” she screams. Her eyes are shut as she rides you with an impulse and speed that surely can’t be human. The pleasure she unleashes onto your cock as her pussy clings and gropes it must be the embodiment of the deadly sin of lust itself. It was written before in holy books, preached as a warning in churches. There’s no explanation for how angrily she impales herself with your cock. “Your cock’s too fucking big, I’m going to cum all over it!”

You spank her ass, and the plentiful skin wiggles right back into your hand. Seeing her face twist up into this pained yet blissful reaction inspires you to continue. That and your cock entering and exiting her hole, plus your kisses following the path of her neck makes Yujin go crazy.

“Fuck me!” She’s fully unhinged when she cums. Her short yet sharp, alliterate downward thrusts of her core leaves red on your thighs. She’s kissing you with this hunger that’s been fulfilled, in a way, but with which comes gluttony. She can’t have enough. She can’t have enough of your dick. It starts to scare you how she’s like the girls your pastor warned you about in Sunday school—she’s a gluttonous nymphomaniac greedy for things that aren’t good for her. Aren’t good for you.

Having sex with An Yujin makes you debate if you should go back to your religious roots and pray again. You’ve heard about the devil hiding behind human faces, and she completely fits the criteria: charming, deceiving, gorgeous beyond human comprehension. However, her divine body also can be something holy. It’s something that’s more than worth worshiping.

Which is which: evil or good? Angel or demon? A goddess who descended to earth or something far, far more dangerous?

Whichever, you just busted a load inside exactly that.

“So.”

“Hm?”

“Come on, tell me,” you say. Yujin’s teasing banter piques your curiosity to higher levels. “Did you really fuck all those people, or is it just,” shrug, as if you couldn’t care less when you do, “you know, hearsay?”

Yujin strokes your chest thoughtfully. The aftermath of the rough sex has left her almost invalid, but after a shower, she’s good to go. You followed suit after.

“The devil’s telephone,” she whispers.

“Huh?”

“Here. You know where to call me.”

#kpop smut #izone smut #ive smut #an yujin smut #ahn yujin smut #izone yujin smut #ive yujin smut #yujin smut #male reader #x reader #reader insert #pov smut

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duchess-kyuupid · 1 year

Text

Twst Men and How to Fluster Them

How should one go about teasing their love to get that desirable shade of red on their faces?

[GN! Reader / Suggestive, but SFW] *All of these are pre-relationship and you trying to flirt with him*

~~Heartslabyul Edition~~ [Pt. 1]

[Ft. Riddle, Deuce, and Ace]

Riddle - When you break the rules just to get his attention - It doesn't take long to get under his skin with your flirty advances, because clearly Rule #324 states "A rose must never rest betwixt the mouth after teatime on Mondays" - and yet here you are, resting a lovely red rose in between those tantalizing lips of yours and sending a playful wink his way once you caught eye contact. - No, he was not going to fall for your antics again, not when you've broken the rules, again!! It should be off with your head! But before he can say anything, you quickly cover your mouth with your hands and sneakily hide the rose down your sleeves without him noticing. - "Why, Housewarden Riddle, I'd never dream of breaking any rules!" you claim with a knowing smile, "Oh, but, there seems to be something in your hair, let me get that for you-" - You step a little too close to him, he thinks, and you reach in an area behind his head, pulling out the rose from your sleeve. Already, Riddle's face has been red as apples from your proximity, and your very obvious flirting. - "Can't have the Queen looking improper for class, can we?" You chuckle and reach out for his hand to give him the rose. Mission complete, you've turned the Housewarden of Heartslabyul into a stuttering, flustered mess, and you decide (oh so graciously) that it was time to stop teasing him for the time being. Riddle notices how your eyes change from their mischievous little smirk to one of soft reminiscence. - "That was a type of 'magic trick' that was popular in my own world you know. We might not have had magic like you do here, but we do have our own little tricks up our sleeve," You laugh breathlessly, "But I'm pretty sure that with real magic, you wouldn't need to use tricks like this. Anyway Riddle, enjoy the rest of your day! And don't be late for class!" - And just like that, you briskly walked away without Riddle having the opportunity to reply. Suffice to say, Riddle couldn't bring himself to let go of the rose until he made it back to his room later that day, where he's been keeping it in a little vase ever since. (Oh, and if you or anyone else ever sees it, don't ask him about it! He'd be too embarrassed to give a straight answer... Or do, we all know that he's so much fun to tease~)

Ace - When you kiss the heart on his eye - "Ace, come here for a second, I have something to tell you," you say as Ace happens to walk by you on his way to the cafeteria. Naturally, he comes over without even a second thought (this man is so whipped for you, he'd do anything you ask before he could even process it - but of course you didn't know this). - "Sure! What is it?" he asks once he's closer to you. You say nothing until he's in perfect range to attack, and then you pounce. - With quick movements you lightly grab his chin and direct his face towards the side and kiss the little heart on his eye. - You stepped back as quickly as you could, feeling your nerves catch up on you, and while you still had your confidence in your system, you gave him your proudest smile and waited for his reaction. His eyes had widened and his mouth was slack-jawed as he was still processing what had just happened. This went on for about a solid minute of the two of you just staring at each other before you explain to him, - "That was for helping me out the other day. I have no chance of catching Grim on my own when he runs off chasing whatever's got his attention," you laugh a little, but it feels awkward seeing as how Ace still hadn't said anything yet, his hand was just hovering over the spot that you kissed over his heart. To be honest, that was really just an excuse that you made up on the spot. The truth was you kissed him like this because he's been too dumb to notice that you've been flirting with him for the past month. If this doesn't tell him that you're interested, you really don't know what will. - Now, you didn't know this, but this man's heart was simultaneously going a million miles a minute but also never going anywhere, like the cogs in his brain had short-circuited. He could hear his heart hammering in his ribcage like it was trying to escape, and all that he could focus on was the feeling of your warm lips kissing his upper cheek, even after they've been long gone. - On your end though, the silence was almost getting suffocating. At first you were greatly enjoying the spectacle of having Ace all frozen up and red in the face, but with each passing moment, your smile began to falter more and more. 'Did I misinterpret his reaction? Did he not like it? Is he actually getting angry with me? Did I really just ruin my relationship with Ace??' your thoughts began swarming your mind like flies, but before you open your mouth to apologize for being inappropriate, you hear Ace giggle and you could now see the big, dopey smile on his face too. - "So then, all I've gotta do is catch Grim, right? And you'll give me another one of those?" he asks confidently. If you hadn't known any better, you'd have thought that he was the one who gave you a kiss. - "W-well yes, if you'd like one," you reply rather sheepishly. - "Haha! Sweet! That weasel's not going anywhere, not while I'm around!" he chuckles brightly, "Say, I was just on my way to the cafeteria before you stopped me, wanna go eat together?" - You nod with a relieved laugh, "Sure, I'd like that." - "Hey, I've got an awesome idea! What if," he points to his cheek, "I buy your lunch in exchange for another one? Who says that the deal should be exclusively for catching Grim?" - And so at this point, the tables had turned- you had no idea that he'd be so excited about the little kiss on the cheek that he'd start asking for more right after. So, you, of course, had to change the tables again- to maintain your pride as a teasing lover, if nothing else, so you reply, - "How about you pay for my lunch AND you become my boyfriend? You get one free kiss for lunch, and you can get a specialty kiss voucher at least once a day that you can redeem anytime! It's a great deal, if I do say so myself!"

Deuce - When you help him study - To be honest, he's already a little embarrassed that he had to ask you for help on his homework. He swore to himself that he would become an honor student at NRC and make his mother proud, and yet here he is, just barely managing to pass his classes with a C, and having to ask the one who can't even use magic for help on his homework about magic. It's deplorable, really. Oh! but no offence to you though, in fact Deuce has so much admiration for you because of this fact! He thinks it's amazing how quickly you were able to learn everything from class when you've had almost no background knowledge or practical uses for any of it! Of course you were amazing! Meanwhile he's over here struggling with some of the most basic principles... - "Deuce, are you even listening to me?" you snap him out of his thoughts once you realized that he was just staring blankly at you, your tutoring lecture falling in one ear and out the other. - And with a surprised shake of his head, he realizes that the only thing that he was able to focus on for the past hour or so was you. - "Sorry, I just blanked out a little, can you repeat that last part you said again?" well, he really wanted you to repeat all of it, but he had to at least make it look like he was improving because of you- that way you'd continue helping him study like this in the future... But then again, if he asked you to repeat everything you'd already gone over, there's a chance that you would stay here for longer... - "Listen, Deuce, I don't think that this is working," you sigh and you go to stand up. His eyes widen and he hurriedly tries to stop you from leaving, - "Wait!-" - "That's why I want to try a different tactic," you smile, "If you can manage to correctly answer at least 10 questions in a row today, then I'll grant you one wish. And it could be anything- I can go buy something for you, I'll make you food, hell I'll even give you a kiss if you asked. And if you can make at least a B on the test this week, then I will do whatever you want for the whole day. And I mean anything." - 'Huh? A kiss? You'd give him a kiss if he got 10 answers right?!' Deuce's face flares up in a reddish hue at the thought and you take his stuttering as a yes to the deal. You smile at him and begin tutoring him once again. ~~ - Fast forward a couple of hours, and Deuce finally manages to get 10 answers correct in a row, and it's time for you to deliver on his reward. - "Well, what you do want, Deuce-y? Anything you want, is yours..." You tease him with the nickname, but all it does is make him more nervous because oh god, he didn't think about the fact that he'd have to ask for it!! - "Umm,,, I... Can I have a …a kiss from you?" - "Hm? What did you say? A kass?" Oh my god, there's absolutely no way that he'd be able to say it again without dying on the spot! - "A casserole..." He sighs. - "Alright, no problem! It's already way past dinnertime so the cafeteria's probably still closed, so what kind do you want me to make for you? I'm pretty hungry myself, so how about shepherd's pie?" You stand up from your spot on the couch and start walking towards the kitchen area behind him. - "Sure.." He really couldn't care less about what you made at this moment, he's still reeling from missing his one chance to get a kiss from his crush... - That is, until, you come up from behind him and give him a sneak attack kiss on his cheek. - "I actually did hear you, Deuce-y, just felt like teasing you for a bit," you whispered into his ear and giggled, "Now you just have to get a B or better on the exam, and I'll give you another one on the lips~" - To tell you that he died right there on the spot would be an understatement.

~~~~~

Literally I wanted to get all of the Heartslabyul characters on here but then the post got too big ToT the price we pay for love....

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 3 months

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hi em! been off the app lately cuz i've been lazy but i'm so glad i'm seeing u on my dash again <3 i can't express it properly but i missed you so so so much !! hope u can give us some sneak peaks of ur next work hihi (no rush maybe just some hints of what to expect)

Hello, nonnie! I'm glad to be on the dash again! YAY! I've missed being online and interacting with peeps, it was quiet but a bit lonely offline.

I've actually got a snippet here that is HIGHLY work-in-progress, doesn't quite slot into my story so far and might need to go through a couple edits/adjustments before finally being incorporated, but still. Hope you like the direction I'm taking it!

Trigger warnings: uncle-niece incest, medieval daddy kink, suggested (though not actual) quasi-Electra complex, psychological fuckery.

Yes, he thinks to himself, struck by your light-hearted praise, your simple joy. Your innocence, near cloying. I could be her ‘papa’.

He decides to test his theory one evening. The babes are with Rhaenyra; those insipid ladies of yours are abed or in the Sept or wherever-the-fuck; the servants have long since left after stoking the fires and turning down the bedsheets. There is no better time.

“Here.” After pressing a parcel into your hands, he waits as your brow furrows and a half smile pulls at your lips, as your fingers move to unearth the object inside, as your frown deepens while you examine what it is he has given you.

“What is it?” You pull the fabric wrappings away, fully revealing the cloth doll. For all the simplicity of its form, it is the finest specimen coin could buy—pale spun wool for hair, amethyst button eyes, silk embroidery, velvet gown. Your palm cups its head like you cup your babes’ heads. You glance up at him. “Oh. For Aelys?”

“No. For you.”

You had outgrown soft toys at a frightfully early age, preferring instead to cart about your small collection of dolls carved from wood and finely painted. He’s not entirely sure you ever possessed one of cloth.

You laugh, a sharp, strange sound, shaking your head. “I—I have no need for dolls, kepus. I am a woman grown, and a mother at that!”

He can hear the slow burgeoning of agitation in your voice, low as it is. Good. The corner of his mouth curves up. “A display of gratitude would suffice.”

“Gra—Is this some sort of game?” you ask. He cocks his head at the tone—the hostility. Curious. He’d barely done anything. You huff, rising from the bed and busying yourself by smoothing out your skirts, breaking eye contact. You stare over at the empty cradle. “I do not wish to play.”

“No game.” Daemon cannot help but notice that, for all your apparent ire, you still clutch the doll to you like it is something precious. “Call it… speculation, if you must.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Really, my girl. You’re far too vexed for a thing so trite. Perhaps I’ve struck upon a source of turmoil.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

You stubbornly refuse to look his way as he rises, his height outstripping yours easily. Barely perceptible is the subtle way your shoulders seem to shrink inward, protecting the vulnerable flesh of your throat as though he means to strike. He notices.

“Don’t you?” he asks. His fingers brush your jaw. When you jerk away, he moves instinctively to clamp your chin between thumb and finger, halting your churlish rebellion. “I’m not blind, you know—to your envy.”

Your nostrils flare despite your valiant attempts at composure. “Envy?”

Almost. You are truly angry now, he thinks. The ideal temperament to bait you into an admission. He lets his head fall, his nose skimming across your temple, featherlight. You shiver at his touch.

“Yes,” he murmurs. “Of your own children, no less. I see it. You desire the attention I give to them, is that it?” You react viscerally to that, but he is quicker; one hand presses you to his chest by the scruff of the neck and the other grabs just below your rear. It is enough to topple you into him. He hums as he seats himself back down upon the edge of the bed, pulling you onto his lap, his knee bouncing below you. “No. You desire the same attention. I’m their father—and where’s yours? Where he’s always been. Not here. Not for you. Never for you.”

Your indignant squirming ceases, and he hears the hitch in your breath before you deign to speak. “Stop it. Stop. That—that’s cruel.”

Ah, fuck. Too far. He changes course.

“Sh… I know, I know. I understand. Come.” He keeps his voice soft, the sharpest of daggers seeking the yielding flesh between ribs.

Gathering you close, head tucked under his chin, rump to thigh, his hand soothing between your shoulders, he says, “Papa’s here, sweetling.”

Your stomach feels as though it has dropped cleanly through your body, past your feet and into the ground.

Papa’s here, sweetling. Papa’s here, sweetling. Papa. Papa. Papa.

At first, you know not what to do. Scramble off and yell? Pretend you did not hear him? Dive for the sheets, block the world out? Your blood feels like ice in your veins. Your eyes prickle uncomfortably. You are frozen.

Daemon speaks again, palm like a brand through the thin layer of your shift. “There’s no shame in it. In wanting this.”

The urge to flee washes over you once more, building in your bones, threatening to spring you from his hold. “I—”

“Ah.” A sharp, barking vowel of remonstration, the sound a kennelmaster might use to bring his pack to heel.

The sound a father uses to correct a wilful child, your mind supplies unhelpfully.

“Besides,” he continues, casual in his cruelty, sweet poison on the tip of his tongue. And it is cruel, surely it is, it must be, surely it is the very worst, most horrible thing he has ever done, made you small, made you insignificant, made you wish for— “You don’t have a choice. Little girls are meant to abide by their papas, are they not?”

A small, churlish part of you rankles at his words, snapping your head up to glare before you can remember why it is you had been so steadfastly avoiding his stare. The indignation fades as you look upon him. In his eyes, you see what he does not say. A softening.

Tell me to stop, it says, and I will. Deny me if you must, but only if it is truly what you desire.

Almost without sanction, you shudder. You wilt, there is no other word for it, melting like ice in the sun, dripping, limbs trickling to water as you sink properly into Daemon’s waiting arms. They fold around you, over you like they had known to expect you here, like this.

Nothing has changed. Everything has changed. The room is bigger, or you are diminished, startlingly exposed, raw like burnt skin. Your lower lip wobbles.

“Papa,” you whisper, higher and more timorous than you have ever sounded. His arms tighten. You feel him nodding above you.

“That’s right,” he says, smooth in its devastation. Full of warmth, kindness, a muted sympathy. Poor little orphan child. Dead mother, father scarcely worth the name. All alone. It feels like an old wound, one that has never truly healed, something to live with but to never forget. “You’re mine. My babe, aren’t you?”

“But—but ‘m not.” A bizarre urge to beat your fists against his chest and wail washes over you. Regret? Resentment? Rage? You know not. “Rhaenar and—and Aelys—”

“Are mine—as you are mine.” Fingers and thumb pinch your jaw, drag it up. Daemon’s expression is set firm, tender but no less resolved. My word is your law, it says. “I have my heirs. I can have a sweet little girl, too.”

For a split second, you imagine what it might have been like if he had been your father instead—

(If it were Daemon, not Viserys, who had sired you. There would have been no septa to chastise your every failing. No threat of marriage to force your hand. Anything you had asked for—anything you desired—would be yours, scarcely a question asked. And, perhaps most damning of all, he would have given you every scrap, every iota of the attention, the care you have always felt so greedy in wanting. You would never have cause to wonder if your father loved you.)

—And, in that fleeting moment, you find yourself wishing that he had been. That he really was your papa, and not just your uncle, not just your husband. The thought makes your heart thud and your stomach lurch, your limbs acting on that swooping sensation to try and rise from his knee.

“That’s enough,” he says, dragging you back and turning your head into his neck, firm, unyielding, other hand coming down just a little too hard above your backside to be gentle. A warning. “You’re thinking too much. Sh.”

Still, you struggle. “I don’t—”

“You don’t need to think. Empty your head. Let Papa take over.”

It is like you needed permission for it before your body truly relaxes. The tears spill over your lashes, not sorrowful, no, but relieved. You let him adjust you how he likes—little girl, he says, you’re a little girl and it’s not your choice now—arm banding beneath your knees and oh, now you truly do feel little, small and young and yielding, tucked in as baby bird in a nest might be. Cradled like an infant in his grasp, it is warm and safe as it always is, but now that feeling you have never been able to reach out and name has its proper form.

I am just a babe. It slinks through your mind like a single thread in a tapestry, innocuous and necessary for the whole image to come together. I am just his babe now. Above you, Daemon voices much the same.

“That’s it… good girl…”

This is a VERY early draft for jorraeliarzus (beloved), the next instalment in my terms of endearment series. Please be aware that it might not make it into the final version without significant editing.

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen fanfiction #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x oc #daemon targaryen x you #daemon x oc #daemon x you #house of the dragon fanfiction #hotd fanfiction #game of thrones fanfiction #got fanfiction #asoiaf fanfiction #a song of ice and fire fanfiction #terms of endearment │ daemon targaryen x reader

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feelbokkie · 13 days

Text

Sorry, I Love You | Chapter 11

pairing: Jeongin x fem reader

genre/warnings: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, friends to lovers, unrequited love, will they, won’t they dynamic, abusive relationship, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, emotional/psychological abuse

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: Swearing, Soobin mention, mention of food, drinking/alcohol (drink responsibly)

summary: Jeongin is in love with his best friend and he has been ever since he met her back in high school. He’s not sure how Y/n feels about him and in order to persevere their friendship, it’s a secret he keeps to himself. But when Y/n starts showing interest in one of their new neighbors, Jeongin starts to worry about the future of their relationship.

taglist: CLOSED

word count: 4,836

screenshot count: 19

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"Uh-huh...Seung--Seungmin-" You wedge your phone between your face and shoulder as you run around your apartment getting your things ready.

"--I just think editing-wise, we can do a whole thing with color filters for mood--" Seungmin continues on the other end of the call.

"Seungmin, that's a good idea but--"

Knock knock

"Should we do that artificially with a filter in post or should we try to mess with the lighting? Lighting might look more natural but harder to produce since a lot of the film is outdoors--"

You drop your bag on your couch and roll your eyes before heading over to your front door, praying that Seungmin isn't on the other side. You love him, you really do, but he's been pestering you nonstop since the start of winter break about the film. You didn't even mean to answer his call. You were so busy getting ready to leave that you instinctively answered the phone without checking.

"That's a really good point and question, but Seungmin I have to--"

You pull open the door to find Jeongin standing on the other side. You raise an eyebrow at him, confused as to why he's even there. You thought he went home to Busan after his last final for the semester. But here he is, standing in front of you with his hands shoved into the pockets of his thick, black puffer jacket. A dark blue beanie sits on his head, pressing his bangs to his forehead. The bottoms of his blue jeans are soaked from walking through the snow. Or rather the slush on the floor that gives the false illusion of snow. You made the mistake of jumping into what you thought was a snow pile the other day and instead slipped into an unsuspecting ice puddle.

"Y/n? Are you listening to me? I'm trying to bounce ideas off of you and you're not throwing anything back." You can almost picture the pout sitting on Seungmin's face right now.

"Am I allowed to talk now?" You ask as you wave for Jeongin to come in.

"Who is that?" Jeongin asks, closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes.

"Seungmin," You whisper back, holding the phone away from your face so he couldn't hear you. You can only imagine the rant Seungmin will go on if he thought you were ignoring him to talk to someone else.

Jeongin wastes no time yanking your phone out of your hand and putting it to his ear. "Hey, Seungmin, it's winter break. Go drink some hot chocolate and chill the hell out."

"But--" Jeongin ends the call before Seungmin can continue and hands you back your phone.

You stare at your phone for a second, waiting for Seungmin to call back before tossing it on the couch with your stuff. You take Jeongin by the hand and drag him over to the heater.

“Here, before you get hypothermia.” You mutter as you pull him to sit down.

“I’m not going to get hypothermia from the ends of my pants being wet, Y/n.” He laughs. Still, he sits on the ground to humor you.

You pull a blanket from your couch, the one that Lia made you for Christmas last year after complaining about how cold the winter is, and toss it around his shoulders. “Oh? Are you an expert on hypothermia?”

“It’s called common sense, idiot.” He smirks, lightly flicking your forehead.

“If you had any common sense, you would have rolled up your pant legs a bit to avoid this.” You crawl over to your couch and grab your phone to check the time, “I thought you went home like everyone else.”

“I decided to hang back and enjoy the quiet at the apartment. My parents don’t care as long as I’m back in time for midnight mass. Plus my brothers are annoying so staying here is a bonus.”

You swear under your breath when you realize how little time you have to get to the airport You toss your phone into your bag and triple-check that you have everything you need. "Not to be rude or anything, but you couldn't have come at a worse time, Innie."

"You have to go pick up your family from the airport, right?" You glance over at Jeongin as you slip your bag over your head. He's staring at you upside down, his head thrown backward. His round-rimmed black, lensless glasses slowly fall off his face.

"Yeah, and their flight is somehow early so I need to leave like, yesterday."

“Let’s go,” Jeongin slowly stands up and starts walking towards the front door.

“What?”

“Did you think I came here to spend time with you?” He says flatly.

The twitch in the corner of his mouth threatening to break into a smile gives him away. It's barely noticeable, but you know it's there. You've been friends with him long enough to be able to read him like a book. If you wait a little longer, he'll start to smile and then turn his head quickly so you don't see. His ears will turn red and he'll cover his mouth like he was trying to wipe it.

"You have nothing better to do than to drive me to pick up my family from the airport during break?" You question as you grab your apartment keys and meet him by the door.

"Didn't you know?" Jeongin leans down, placing his head on your shoulder, "I was placed on this earth to be your chauffeur. I'm fulfilling my one true purpose."

You slightly move to meet his eyes, careful to still keep your distance. You can feel the heat from his breath on your cheek. He looks at you with puppy dog eyes so soft and kind, they put a begging Kim Seungmin to shame.

"You're so fucking weird." You laugh, gently pushing him off your shoulder. His face feels warm against the palm of your hand. "This is why we need to get you a girlfriend. Someone to make you normal."

Jeongin opens the door and softly pushes you outside. You tighten the scarf around your neck as the cool air nips at your nose. "I'm normal enough around you."

"That is such a lie," You laugh again as he walks out of your apartment. You double-check that the door is locked and follow Jeongin to his car.

***

**Bold = English; Regular font = Korean**

You push in the door to your apartment and walk in first, holding the door open for your parents, brother, and Jeongin. It feels weird having your family in your apartment for the first time. In the four years you've lived in Korea, they've never been over once. Neither of your parents could take off time when you first moved and your brother was too busy moving back to his campus to help. They've seen your apartment in video calls and pictures, but having them standing in your tiny apartment is strange. For the longest time, it felt like you had two lives, one in South Korea and one back home. And now, both of those worlds are colliding. Even if it's only for a couple of weeks.

"Y/n, where do you want me to put these?" Jeongin asks, holding some of your mother's luggage.

"Just put it in my room, In. Thank you," You neatly organize everyone's shoes by the door, watching your family from the corner of your eyes. They took off their shoes when they came in, but their courtesy ends there as they now wander around the small apartment, opening doors and cabinets.

"You'd think with how much I'm paying for the place, it would be a bit bigger." Your father comments from the kitchen.

"It felt small at first, but it's just me so it's fine." You reassure him as you set your brother's things next to the couch. "You and mom are going to be in my room, by the way."

"Oh honey, you didn't have to give up your bed for us." Your mother coos, coming up behind you.

You know in the deepest crevice in your heart that, that's a lie. That if you didn't give your parents your room and instead gave them the pull-out couch that your brother is going to sleep on, she would fuss about it the entire time. Maybe even the rest of your life. Not in an obvious way, no that would be too kind. She'd make little comments about how her back hurts or how she could hardly get any sleep because she could hear the neighbors walking in the hallway. Or that the kitchen faucet kept her up all night. You love your mother, but sometimes she knows how to push all your buttons in the worst way possible.

"Y/n," Jeongin walks out of your room and makes his way over to you. "I'm going to head home now. Call me if you need anything."

"By home, you better mean Busan." You warn as you walk him to the door.

"What fun would that be? Plus, I've never experienced Seoul during Christmas." He grins at you as he pulls his shoes back on.

"And you're not going to this year. You said you're going back for midnight mass." You remind him.

"I can come back on Christmas day. I told you that we do everything on Christmas Eve since Christmas Day is Jesus' birthday. Something about greed and keeping it holy. I'm not going to miss out on anything," He stands up and readjusts his clothes.

"Yang Jeongin--"

"Oh, Y/n, is your friend leaving? Tell...what's his name again?" Your mother asks, coming up next to you.

"My name is Bob, ma'am." Jeongin stands up, extending his hand out to your mother.

"Be so fucking serious--" You glare at Jeongin before turning to your mother. "His name is Jeongin, mom."

"Jeongin, right. Tell Jeongin to stay for lunch at least. As a thank you for picking us up." Your mother places her hand on your shoulder, a large smile plastered on her face.

"Oh, it is okay. Enjoy family time." Jeongin reassures her.

"We insist. It's the least we can do. Think of it as a thank you for also taking care of my daughter."

"What are you doing?" You whisper.

"If it is okay with Y/n?"

"I'm being polite," Your mother whispers through a smile.

"You know how to do that--ow!" You rub your arm where your arm pinched you and pout at her.

"I didn't get to meet your other boyfriend, I'm going to meet this one." She finally admits.

"He's not my boyfriend. He's just my friend." You nearly shout.

"He knows his way around your apartment." She hums, not breaking eye contact with Jeongin.

"That's because he's my best friend, he spends a lot of time here. Hell, he practically lives here."

"He does what?" Your father asks, coming back into the living room.

"Kill me," You mutter under your breath, tossing your head back.

"If you insist, I'll stay for lunch. If that's okay with Y/n." Jeongin smiles at your mom, not even looking at you. He's good with moms, you'll give him that. You've witnessed him win over every single one of your friends' moms that you've met. It's impossible not to like him, but in this instance, you wish it was.

"What are you doing?" Your head snaps back up, raising an accusing eyebrow at Jeongin.

"She invited me for lunch." Jeongin tilted his head innocently.

"She's clearly jetlagged, don't listen to her." You groan.

"You're overreacting, it's just lunch." He laughs politely.

"And the twelve disciples thought the last supper was just dinner."

"That's blasphemous,"

"You're so right. Why don't you go home before I drag you to hell with me? Better yet, go all the way to Busan."

"Lover's quarrel?" Your brother pops up out of who knows where and drops down on the couch behind you.

Five minutes. It takes your family five minutes in your apartment, a grand total of twenty-five minutes in South Korea in general, for your family to completely drive you up the wall. It all floods back, why you left in the first place. You could have attended film school back home, but you decided to move as far as you could and somewhere they wouldn't have any interest in visiting. You wouldn't have to deal with them much outside of weekly phone calls. Your family could be worse, but the constant meddling in your life is enough to drive you insane.

Annoyed, you grab Jeongin's hand and drag him off to the kitchen. His fingers are stiff in your hand, almost like he's unsure if he should wrap his fingers around your hand. "C'mon, Bob, let's go make lunch."

"I'm...I'm not allowed in the kitchen," He stammers.

"Don't worry, I'm not an idiot. You're not going to cook anything." You let go of his hand as soon as you are far enough in the kitchen. You finally turn around to face him. His ears are as red as the shirt poking out from under his jacket. "I'm just saving you from my family interrogating you."

"I wouldn't mind," He coughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You say that now," You roll your eyes as you grab the apron next to him. You grab one of your spare aprons and hand it to him. "But trust me, after like 2 minutes along with them, you'd be begging me to save you."

"It can't be that bad."

"Speaking of bad," You toss the apron on and tie the string in the back, looking him in the eyes again, "When did you get so good at English?"

"I've been practicing," He follows suit and puts his apron on.

"For?" You walk past him and begin getting ingredients from your fridge.

"...My...resume." He mutters.

"What kind of reasoning is that? You aren't even that prepared for class."

"His name is Bob?" You hear your brother asking your parents.

You let out a deep sigh as you set everything on the counter, "Idiots, both of you."

***

"Mom and dad are asleep, let's go out." Your brother says, walking back into the kitchen where you and Jeongin are talking.

Somehow, lunch turned into dinner which turned into the five you you playing card games until your parents decided to call it for the night. You're exhausted too, although, you're not sure if it's from all the translating you've been doing or just the overall energy you've been exerting for the day.

"And do what, exactly?" You question, dealing out the cards that Jeongin just shuffled.

"Isn't there a place around here that's popular for clubs and stuff?" Your brother sits down in the seat next to you. He rests his head in the palm of his hand and stares at the both of you.

"Are you talking about Hongdae?" Jeongin asks, picking up his deck.

"Yeah, yeah, Häagen-Dazs!" Your brother says happily.

"There is no way in hell you heard him and thought he said Häagen-Dazs--How are we related?" You fold your arms on the table and drop your head into them, resisting the urge to just slam your head into the table at your brother's stupidity. "Anyways, you're too old for Hongdae."

"I'm 25?" Your brother furrows your eyebrows at you.

"Exactly, you're basically geriatric here. They're not letting you in." You explain, lifting your head.

"Plus you're a foreigner. A male one at that." Jeongin adds.

"But...but you guys are young enough right? You can get me in. Plus if Y/n dresses how she did in high school, the bouncers will be too distracted and let us in."

"You're just going to pimp out your baby sister like that?"

"What else are you good for?"

"Literally anything else," You slap his arm and roll your eyes. "Besides, I'm not sneaking you into a club so you can whore around and cheat on your girlfriend. You know, the one you've been dating for 10 years and still haven't proposed to."

Your brother hangs his head low and picks up his cards. "She left me,"

"You should have proposed," You joke, still looking at your cards.

"Don't kick me when I'm down," He groans, dropping his head to the table.

"Down bad, maybe,"

"I'm down bad? What about the time you--"

"Finish that sentence and mom and dad are going to spend Christmas fishing your body out of the Han River." You threaten.

"'Whoring around?' 'Down bad?'" Jeongin whispers to you.

"Channie after two bottles of soju and beer," You explain simply.

"Ah, a slut. Got it." He gives a firm, understanding nod and goes back to looking at his cards. "You know, we could sneak him in. He looks a little sad about his girlfriend leaving him."

"He's just being dramatic. He'll be fine," You wave him off.

You know Jeongin is right. You could just sneak him in. It might be harder with just the three of you, but you've done it before with your friend group. Back before most of you were old enough to get into clubs, you figured out how to sneak your entire friend group in. Did it set the feminist movement back a few decades? Sure, but it was worth it to spend a few hours partying with your friends.

Your eyes can't help but wander over to your brother. You chew on the corner of your bottom lip as you think about it. Sure, he's a pain in the ass, but he's still your older brother. He's taken you to places he normally wouldn't be caught dead to cheer you up growing up. Watch movies that he claims he hates and let you paint his nails and practice makeup on him more times than you can count. He did it while huffing and puffing about how much he disliked it, but he still did it.

"Shit," You mutter under your breath, "Okay, give me twenty minutes."

~~~

The hard beat of whatever music is being played too loudly over the speakers booms through your body. You can barely see two feet in front of you, with how poorly lit the club is. It's hot, which was a nice contrast from the cold outside when you first walked in, but it's become increasingly uncomfortable, nearly unbearable, in a short amount of time. The Irish coffee he had ordered for you when you first came in was a good idea in theory, something that would keep you awake and still let you share a drink with your brother. But now it's too hot to drink coffee with whisky in it. You had to steal a few ice cubes from Jeongin's water to cool it down enough so you drink it without feeling hot yourself.

"He's having fun," Jeongin points to your brother in the mass of sweaty bodies dancing in front of you. He has his tongue down the throat of some girl whose name you're certain he can't pronounce.

"I'm going to be sick," You groan, leaning further into the seat of the booth you're in. The red plastic leather peels off your skin, nearly glued to you from how long you've sat there. You're glad he's having fun, you just wish he wouldn't do it in your line of sight.

Jeongin laughs and pats your hand, trying to reassure you. His head softly bounces in tune to the music being played. You take a sip of your drink before leaning back again, the bitterness from both the coffee and the whisky hit your tongue in a way that makes you pull a slight face. The whisky burns your throat as it goes down. You feel all warm and fuzzy like you're being hugged from the inside. Except, it's one of those uncomfortable hugs that go on too long and make you feel too hot. There's not much you could do, you already took off your jacket after a few minutes of being in the club.

"Hey," A guy who looks to be around your age, maybe a little older, says, sliding into the booth next to you. "you look bored, do you want to come home with me to eat ramen?"

You close your eyes and take a deep breath before turning your head in his direction. You're entirely too tired, hot, and tipsy to deal with any of his bullshit. "Fuck off,"

"What did you say?" His tone is sharp. You're not sure if he's taken aback by the fact that you can speak Korean or how disrespectful you're being towards him, but you can feel the change of energy radiating off of him.

You feel an unexpected weight on your shoulders. Your eyes flick down and see Jeongin's hand hanging off your shoulder, carefully making sure not to touch you inappropriately. He leans in close, pulling you away from the guy and staring at him in the eyes. "She said 'fuck off.' Now go,"

The man looks between the two of you before letting out an exaggerated scoff and getting up from the table. The two of you watch as he walks over to another table, this one filled with a few girls who are definitely a little too drunk.

"Thanks," You say simply, resting your head back. Jeongin doesn't remove his arm, allowing you to use him as a cushion. You think for a moment, something about this situation is familiar. Not an exact match, but a similar one. You can't help but let out a low chuckle when you realize why.

"What's so funny," Jeongin's other hand brushes against your cheek, moving a stray piece of hair that you weren't aware of that was stuck to your cheek.

"Nothing," You slightly shake your head.

"You're laughing, how is that nothing?"

"It's sad, not funny" You sit up slightly, taking another sip of your drink. "The last time I was in Hongdae, that was pretty much happening a lot. Soobin and I were already bickering the entire night so we got into a fight about it. He was so mad that he made me walk home. Alone. It was pouring rain too,"

“Is that where that cold you had around my birthday came from?”

You let out a low hum and slightly nod your head. Your eyes flutter shut, the warmth in your body leaving slowly. Or maybe you're finally getting used to the heat. Your body feels like it's floating above the table you and Jeongin are sitting at. You know you have a higher alcohol tolerance, but maybe the exhaustion is making you more susceptible to the whiskey in your drink.

“Why didn’t you call me?” He whispers, his voice is soft and warm like honey against your ear.

“It was around 3 am. Didn’t wanna bother you,”

For a second, you're no longer floating but falling. No, not falling, you're being dragged down. Only for a second. You open your eyes slowly. The crowd in front of you is now slightly tilted like you're suddenly in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It takes you a second to realize that your head is resting on Jeongin's chest.

Badum

You're not sure if your heart is beating in tune with the music or trying to keep up with the thumping coming from Jeongin's chest. The thumping in his chest doesn't match up with the music. It's louder and faster than the song that's currently playing. Your left-hand snakes up and presses on his chest, trying to settle his heartbeat, the fabric of his red cotton shirt soft and nearly silky underneath your fingertips.

“Idiot,” He murmurs. He pulls you in a little closer, making the beating of his heart louder in your ear. “You don’t bother me. Stop thinking you're a burden on others when you're not. I'll pick up anytime you call so don't do that again. Okay?”

“Hmm,” You hum in agreement, your eyes fluttering shut again. The beating in his chest slowly settles into a calm, soothing rhythm. You can't even hear the music anymore, only his heartbeat. The smell of his cologne, which somehow managed to last the entire day, finds its way into your nose giving you some sense of security and familiarity. Somehow, it smells more like home than your parents did when you hugged them. Your hand lightly grips the fabric of his shirt as you just lay there.

“C’mon, let’s go dance,” He says, tapping your forehead with his free hand.

“Dance?” You mumble, cracking one eye open.

“You’re falling asleep or passing out from being tipsy. Either way, it’s not going to look good for either one of us if I have to carry you out of here. So let’s dance,” He pulls you upright just as smoothly as he pulled you onto his chest.

You turn to look at him, both of your eyes open now. His face is red, almost like he's been drinking something other than water alongside you this entire time. You reach out and place your hand against his face, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, his skin hot against it yet again. “Careful, Yang Jeongin, someone might think you're in love with me.”

He slowly sucks in his lower lip, his eyes dance across your face. Like you're a book and he's trying to decipher your words. Or maybe he's trying to find his own and the answer lies in your eyes. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand off his face before sliding his hand up, taking your hand in his. He gently leans forward, next to your ear. His breath makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. "Would that be so bad?"

You pull away from him, leaving your hand in his, and narrow your eyes at him, trying to read him. You're not sure if he's serious or if the alcohol that's quickly leaving your system is making you misunderstand what's happening. Your eyes scan his face for answers and, unlike him, you're unsuccessful. His face is redder than it was before. It's almost like he's absorbing all the alcohol in your system through your hand.

“In—”

Thump

Someone bumps into your table, causing your drink to topple over and spill onto both of your laps.

"Shit," Jeongin mutters as he drops your hand and scrambles to grab whatever napkins are on the table. He gives some to you and helps you clean up the now ice-cold drink that's dripping down to your feet, his own pants being neglected.

"I'll be right back," He says quickly before leaving you at the table and disappearing in the direction of the bathrooms.

Before you can even process what happened, your brother slides into the booth next to you. "People here are weird. I was making out with that girl and all of a sudden she's talking to me about ramen."

You quickly shake your head and focus your attention on your brother. You pick up the now empty cup that used to hold your cocktail and go back to trying to clean your jeans. "You're going to be so upset you said 'no' later."

"Was ramen code for something?" He turns his full body to face you. You glance at him before going back to clean up your mess. There's a small red mark at the base of his neck and dark pink lipstick smeared across his mouth. You can only imagine how much trouble he was about to get himself into.

"I'll tell you later," You wad up the dirty napkins and put them in your cup.

Your brother looks around, realizing that something is missing, "Where's your boyfriend?"

You freeze at the word boyfriend. You're used to people assuming that you're dating Jeongin, but somehow, this time feels different. Before, it always sounded accusatory. Like the two of you couldn't be just friends. That you were using the term "friends" as a veil to hide illicit-esque behavior. But now...

"Would that be so bad?"

Your brain replays that phrase in your head over. Surely, he was taking advantage of your intoxicated state to tease you like he usually does. That, had you not been interrupted by cold whiskey and coffee pouring into your lap, he would have let out a loud laugh and left his mouth hang so widely open that you wouldn't be able to see past the dark-lined half-moons where his eyes should be as you stammered out a response. Something that he would tease you about for the rest of your lives.

"He's not my boyfriend, dumbass. We're just friends." You sigh, thumping your brother on the back of his head.

Your brother rolls his eyes as he rubs the back of his head, a smile that would make the Cheshire cat envious spreads across his face. "Look, I'm saying this as both your older brother and as a guy, you may be 'just friends' with him, but he’s definitely not 'just friends' with you,”

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @marked-unknown @veedoesntknaur @nuronhe

*the rest of the taglist is in the comments*

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etherfall · 2 months

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Alder Adopts N AU huh...

I wonder what will be story of BW + BW2 will be tho?

Edit: Finalized Story

Gonna be honest, I came up with this AU on the spot so I haven't really thought about it that hard lol. But I think that the story would be quite different since N is no longer the pawn that Ghetsis manipulates to get his way. Here's what I think might've happened:

(I'm using Black version for reference! Also this ended up being kind of long haha)

Ghetsis is the king of Team Plasma, and works on his own to manipulate the people of Unova. He plans to raise a team to fight Alder himself, but is unable to summon Zekrom to help him in his conquest of Unova. However he hears from the Shadow Triad that Alder found a boy in the woods that can talk to Pokémon, and is raising him to be an incredibly strong future champion.

This catches Ghetsis's attention and he begins a plan to capture N. Since he himself cannot talk to Pokémon he believes he can manipulate N enough to free Zekrom from the stone. Perhaps by claiming that he is N's true father?

Ghetsis successfully captures N and tries to manipulate him into aiding with his "ideal" of liberation, claiming that battles hurt Pokémon and that they should be free. N is not so easily persuaded and fights back, since he has been raised on Pokémon battling with Alder and can see the good in their interaction. Although N does waver a bit to Ghetsis's manipulation, he stays loyal to Alder's ways and puts trust in Alder's judgement.

Instead of shying away from responsibility due to the death of his Pokémon, Alder has revived his passion for battles through his interactions with N and is more active in protecting Unova. When N is taken away he becomes angry and storms the castle with the other gym members to get his son back.

When Ghetsis realizes that his manipulation is not working, he pulls an "emotional father" card to make N free the dragon, taking advantage of the fact that N has been trying to discover who his true family is.

This is where the protag comes in. Although N summoned Zekrom he refuses to fight the protag, conflicted on what he had just done. Meanwhile Reshiram is awakened. Ghetsis takes charge of Zekrom as the two dragons begin to fight.

N (bless his heart) talks to Zekrom during the fight and manages to deter him from Ghetsis, so Zekrom stops fighting and takes N's side, putting Ghetsis's plan of Pokémon liberation to an end. Ghetsis flies into a rage, lashing out against N in a fit of anger and challenges the protag with his own personalized team. After he is defeated, Alder breaks into the chamber and saves N while Ghetsis flees. The two dragons return to their stones and peace returns to Unova.

By the end of the story N goes home with Alder to recover, but is left with conflicted feelings about the future of Unova and Ghetsis, the man that could've been his father. (Or relative. I personally think that N is the son of Ghetsis's brother but I digress)

Not sure about BW2 since I haven't played it yet and am trying to avoid spoilers atm, but yeah! Feel free to tell me any ideas that you might have, I'm not the best at making AUs but would love to hear different interpretations!

#n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #unova #pokemon #pokemon black and white #pokemon bw #n pokemon #pokemon alder #alder pokemon #pokemon au #alderadoptsnau

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soundbluster · 22 days

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for a while since i got into transformers 3 years ago and i loved the franchies instiantly even since i was a kid especially the designs of transformers and Seeing fan arts and fan Designs and fans make thire own continuity made me me want to start learning to draw when im ready but i don't know how to draw cybertronians so do you have any tips and advices for someone who want to learn to draw transformers characters both Traditional & digital art?

Biggest advice I can give is: "Break a character apart into simple components!"

Drawing bots is honestly not that difficult, I find it much easier than people because you can more easily break a character apart into simplified blocks.

When it comes to designing characters it can take a few times to get one you're happy with so doing lots of basic sketches can help. References are always useful too! Every artist uses references.

Here's how I do it (In this case I'm doing an alt design for tfe Nightshade):

(It's not a definitive guide as you kinda have to figure out what works best for you both in terms of technique and art style. I'm aware my art style is definitely not for everyone, as it veers more on the cartoony side. I've had comments about how my faces all look effed up etc XD)

Initial sketch

Break a bot down into basic shapes, circles and sausage shapes for more rounded characters and boxes for squarer ones. I normally start with the head and draw the rest of the body down from it (torso and arms then legs then any back kibble that might be visible) Think of it like the protoform beneath the armour.

To help with figuring out a pose I'll often use my toys. It can help you visualise where their arms and legs etc go along with whether part of a bot is actually visible from a certain angle. For example in this case:

(Yes that's my cat chilling in the background)

This can help you to figure out if a certain design can pull a given pose, for example would a bot with kibble on their hips or arms be able to move their legs or arms a certain way. I used POTP Elita one as a reference for my SG Megatron a lot for example as they've got very similar builds. But this is not essential.

(There are mannequin apps on mobiles etc. you can use to help with pose references too, and image searches are always useful for references.)

For more dynamic poses it helps to think about how the character is moving, so add a curve to the torso/spine to add to any implied motion etc.

Details

Once I'm happy with the basic shape and pose I typically add the armour over the top. Again the head is usually the first bit I do. You can see I got a bit lazy with their left hand and just did a scribble here XD

Inking

Normally when inking I do the edges of each armour piece first then add any details on afterwards in a finer pen. Generally I'll do one body part at the time eg. fully ink the arm before doing the head etc. Its best to make sure you do parts that are in front first!

Here's the finished picture:

Though it'll need some digital cleaning up at another time.

As for digital art...

I can't really give much advice on starting a drawing digitally as I never quite got the hang of it (colouring and corrections I do digitally but all my line art is traditional), I need the feedback of a pen in my hand and pressure on the paper to get it right.

These days the Hardware I mainly use is a refurbished huion art tablet (it was about £120 when I bought it) that's probably the cheapest your going to find a graphics tablet with a screen. BUT it's really not essential to get one especially if you're just starting out. Basic graphic tablets without a screen (just a pen and a pad) are much cheaper or you can use a mouse. I used a mouse for ages when I was first starting out.

In terms of software, for colouring and edits on the PC I use GIMP (I've been using it since like 2009 so I'm not really going to change any time soon!). It's freeware software and can do a lot of stuff, but it's user interface isn't the most user friendly especially if you're not familiar with graphics software but there are plenty of tutorials available for it. I'll try to remember to make a post showing how I use that another time :) as I'm not at my computer at the moment.

There are plenty of alternative image manipulation/graphics software to use as well, some free, some free but with ads, and some paid for (either one off payment or subscription). It's best to see what other artists have to say about them though as I've never really used them!

#my asks #my ask box #fan art #art stuff #how i draw #my ask is open #ask me stuff #nightshade #transformers nightshade #earthspark #transformers Earthspark #tfe #tfes #nightshade malto

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kiwibeanv · 7 days

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Cockblocked by a Ghost

Summary: Who would have known a ghost would ruin a night with Dazai. Fem! Reader.

Notes: I've been playing fatal frame 5 (so there will be references). Sudden idea. Thanks to @monoclesnapple for the editing.

Ever since you went to the mountain, the spirits followed you home. These past nights, you saw their misty specters wander your home. The random door slamming shut when you know you live alone. Soft whispers that make you look where they came from. Their appearances look awfully like the ones you repelled with your camera. The shrine maiden with gouged out eyes, the girl who cut her neck, and the lost souls that died in the mountain. The ways they died still plagued your mind, despite trying not to ponder on it. Those negative thoughts mixed in your head and nightmares became more frequent for you.

You decided to take a break from investigating the mountain for the sake of your mental health. Your café was calm and quiet which eased your mind at the familiarity of the routine. Dazai came in and took a seat at the counter near you. Ever since you met him when the ADA requested your assistance, he always came to your café first. His gaze landed on your face and he could see how pale you looked in combination with the eyebags.

"(Name)," He looked up at you with concern as he leaned over the counter. "My, my you look awful."

You rested your cheek on your hand. "I'm aware."

"Not getting enough rest? You know investigating at night does take a toll," He brought his hand near your arm where you held your face up. His index finger landed on your wrist and he let it glide down to your elbow. He made circular motions on that spot. He studied your expression and he noticed your eyes didn't make direct contact with his.

"Something bothering you?" Dazai asked.

"No it's nothing," You shook your head.

"Really? You didn't look like this before investigating," he pointed out. You let your gaze connect with his. This man is too good at reading people. A sigh escaped your lips.

"It's just all these visions from the spirits," you began. "The causes of their death. The pain they felt before their last breath. But that's not the worst part. They followed me home and it's hard to sleep at night. You know that they are more active at that time."

Dazai nods and took his hand from your arm. He brought it to his face to think.

"Don't you have another place to stay? Or did you try a hotel?" He asked.

You shook your head. "I don't. Nor do I want to spend my money at the hotel."

"Then why don't you stay at my place?" He offered with a grin. "It's free from spirits. You might get a better night of rest."

"Are you sure?" You asked. You didn't really want to make an inconvenience for him. "And if those spirits follow me?"

"Oh relax," he waved his hand off. "I think your ghosts are comfortable here. What ghost doesn't like the aroma of coffee and tea with an elegant home of yours connected to it?"

"Well I really don't want to burden you if that comes to it," you warn as you lifted your head from your hand.

"It's no burden for me!" He assured, placing his hand on his chest. "Besides, I get to have a lovely, gifted woman at my home who can fight spirits."

He takes your hands and his eyes glimmered at you. "My home is absolutely safe and sound~ And you are welcome to stay more nights if you need."

"Uh…" His offer sounded appealing to you. A break from your haunted home to finally get a good night. If the spirits stayed at your home, you don't have to worry about those lingering memories. "Sure. I will take your offer," you replied.

Dazai's lips curled upwards as if proud. After that agreement, you went to pack your things. All the things you need to stay for several nights, while he went back to prepare a space for you.

For a few nights, you were getting accustomed to the arrangements. He allowed you to take the bed while he took the couch. You didn't have vivid nightmares anymore. You finally had a moment of peace. After you settled down, Dazai started getting touchy. You had an idea of his tendencies with women due to Chuuya letting you know one time during your investigation in finding the two ladies. Little does Dazai know, Chuuya gave his number to you first. Chuuya offered it in case you ever had questions about Dazai or, if he hurt you, he could hunt him down and give him a piece of his mind.

However, you felt a mutual connection with Dazai. His touches didn't bother you, his compliments made you feel better about yourself, and there was something attracting you to Dazai like a hummingbird to nectar. Slowly you started to reciprocate his gestures to hint your liking towards him.

On this night, this time you asked if Dazai would like to share the bed with you.

"Yes! I would love to accompany you!" He answered with excitement. You lead him to the dark room, not even bothering to turn on the lights. It was night time anyways so sleep will be inevitable. His hand held yours as you pulled him to bed. Dazai slipped under the covers with you. He felt so close to you. His hand squeezed yours and you reciprocated.

You both faced each other in this quiet moment. Your eyes never leaving his, almost trying to look at his soul. He scooted a little closer to you. Though he didn't want to invade your space. But, you wanted something to happen.

You cupped his cheek with you hand and leaned in to connect your lips with his. His heart raced at your move and he kissed you intensely. You adjust your positions so the two of you found a comfortable position for the kissing. Lips demanded more contact. Tongues danced in passion. A yearning for touch of skin. His hand went under the hem to feel your side. The heat was rising between the two of you. But just before he could move his hand up, a faint knock on the door was heard. Both of you stopped for the moment. Dazai got up to check the door. What puzzled him was that he thought he heard the knock on the bedroom door, not the front. Still, he went to check if there was a visitor. There was no one.

"Huh, could have been a kid," he sighed and went back to you. "Now, lets get that pretty little clothes off you. Will you~?" He smirked. The makeout session resumed with the addition of slowly getting the outer layers off. It felt too hot anyways. Dazai was taking it slow for you. The build up was too fun to let go. He got on top of you and met your lips again.

When your lips parted from his, you saw a faint white mist in the corner of your eye. It disappeared when you centered your gaze at it. Dazai raised his brow, concerned if you were hesitating now. "Everything okay? We don't have to continue if you don't want to," he asked.

"No, I just thought I saw something," you shook your head, placing your attention back on him. Before either of you could do anything, you had a feeling of being watched.

"You have all windows and doors closed and covered, right?" You asked.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. Dazai didn't like vague hints for moments like this. He wanted your full consent. "Yes? If you're trying to make excuses, don't bother. Just say you don't want-" A loud bang interrupted him.

This made him got off you to get on guard. As for you, you had a feeling that a spirit must have found its way here. The signs were all there. Mysterious sounds, the odd white thing, and the feeling of being monitored.

He crept to the door which was only opened slightly. He tried to see through the crack but he met eyes wide as saucers. He flinched back but the face disappeared.

"So uh… about your ghost problem…"

You let out a disappointed sigh. "I did warn you about this possibility."

"Oh yeah…" Dazai looked away. "So will it attack us in our sleep?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. Though, I did bring my camera in case it does," you replied.

"Right… let's get whatever sleep we can get."

Dazai joined you in bed again but this time, he kept his hands mostly to himself. The only thing he did was wrap his arms around you. There was just too many cockblocks to kill the mood. It was awkward to sleep in the same bed with arousal running in both your veins, but you didn't want any more disturbances or audiences. The spirit was relatively active. A few bumps in the night, some chilling whispers, but nothing more.

The next day, Dazai was in a dejected mood after the events of the night prior. He still goofed around, but when he was sitting still, his vibe wasn't necessarily joyful or anything usual.

Eventually, Chuuya found out about what occurred, and he was just cackling at the thought. He came up to you and took a deep breath to compose himself.

"Listen- I can get you a good exorcist," he lets out a chuckle before calming down. "Whoever you want, I'll get, or I can just get a random priest to handle it. If ya don't wanna go back home yet, I can offer my place so you don't have to go to Dazai. It's so much better than that stinky mackerel's and I got better food."

He leans in close to you and mutters with a smirk on his face, "Besides, dogs are more fun to be with than fish."

#bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai #osamu dazai x you #dazai x you #dazai x fem reader #osamu dazai x reader

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goldenheart-supremacy · 9 months

Text

So I know Ambrosius not believing Ballister several times about Nimona is crucial to the overall plot...

But imagine the possibilities if Ambrosius DID switch sides sooner...

This is gonna be a long one...

Like, as they were crashing and breaking out of the institute Ambrosius ended up being in the way, slammed into, then hauled along for the ride...

Nimona lands, like she did. Ballister slides in lamely next to her, like he did.

"Something, something, something... We win." *Cue explosions* "Metal."

Ballister comes to for a moment, dazedly looking around. Instead of a rock knocking him unconscious though, it's Ambrosius landing on him. Remember, he's wearing armor. Armors are hard and with Ambrosius's added body weight, it's heavy.

Nimona's blinking in surprise and like "Oh. So, now he's here too... Now, should I kill him or... Ugh, right, he's the boss. Okay. Great, now I gotta drag them both."

The scene with Ballister coming to plays out pretty much the same way. Finally, when Ballister relents and goes with the shark handshake, Nimona added...

"So, should we kill your Nemesis or do we use him like some kind of hostage?"

"My Nemesis... Him... What? Who? Wait, hostage?!"

Nimona revealed a tied up Ambrosius and still unconscious at the other side of the room. Ballister freaks out for a moment because first, is he dead?!

"I mean, he could be? Just say the word, boss."

"NO! That's a real, BIG NO!"

Of course their arguing and Ballister's yelling wakes Ambrosius up and he muffled screaming, through a gag, alerted Ballister that's he's conscious now. Also, Ballister blushing because he remembers some of their bed room activities and Nimona could kinda tell and kinda smacks Ballister for it.

"Ew, even I can tell what you're thinking. Is this really the time?"

Ballister glares at her before going about trying to calm Ambrosius down.

Of course, Ambrosius starts with the freaking out, then the accusations, even while Ballister's trying to explain things, Ambrosius is still having a hard time believing him cause he literally saw the Queen murdered in front of him but of course, the Director isn't here to manipulate him.

So, Ballister eventually manages to reason with him with a "You know me, you know I love her like a mother. You know I LOVE YOU, and I hope... You still love me? Even if you didn't, you know me enough and you know I'm not a murderer." and Ballister hits him with the big ol' eyes and Ambrosius is blushing and staring at him speechless because GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER Ambrosius misses those eyes, and basically, every inch of Ballister. AND OF FUCKING COURSE he still LOVED BALLISTER.

Meanwhile, Nimona is just watching them while eating tacos, and her expressions is clearly one that translate to "I know what you are, I know what you are. Homosexual. Gay. Gay. Omg, there's a rainbow here without the rain and sunshine..." Then she notes Ambrosius armor shining like the sun even while indoors and how Ballister always looks like wants to cry, so rain. "Okay, never mind."

Finally, Ambrosius goes "Okay, sure, let's do... Whatever it is you wanna do."

So, a team of trio is unofficially, officially formed and Nimona is already aware of how much of a third wheel she's gonna be.

I got more. Might make a part 2 if anyone's interested lmao.

[edit] Part 2

#Nimona #What if #so AU i guess lmao #Ambrosius Goldenloin #Ballister Boldheart #Goldenheart

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

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Hiya! Not sure if you’ve answered something like this before, but if you feel comfortable answering, I’m wondering what tips you might have for writers with ADHD/ADD.

I haven’t been able to write well for years and thought it was laziness/lack of self-discipline, but it very well could be that my brain just wants to work a certain way and I didn’t know about it.

Of course, there’s no “one-fits-all” answer, but some ideas about where to start the journey of understanding what works for oneself would be nice.

Thanks!

Writing with ADHD

There are three sub-types of ADHD (inattentive/formerly ADD, hyperactive, and combined), so tips depend somewhat on which type you have. As luck would have it, I'm combined type, so I have tips for both. (And these tips can be helpful even for writers who don't have ADHD but still struggle with keeping their butts in the seat...)

Writing with Inattentive ADHD

My biggest struggle with writing is difficulty staying focused and getting sidetracked easily. Here are the things I do to work around that:

Dedicated Writing Time/Place - I'm fortunate to have a writing room with a desk, but even if you don't, just having a dedicated space for when you write can be really helpful. It also helps to make sure your chosen writing spot is tidy and free from built-in distractions, like people traffic or a distracting view. And, if you can aim for the same general writing time each day, that can help train your mind to go into writing mode when you sit down to write.

Minimize Distractions - this is a "must do" for me when I sit down to write. Phone goes on silent, no TV, no music with lyrics, no social media, and if it's a busy day outside I close the shades and put on headphones. Also, nicely ask anyone else in the house not to distract you during your writing session.

Regulating with a Timer - When I'm really struggling, I've found that timers are very helpful in keeping me on track. If I need to stop to research something along the way, I set the timer for 10-minutes. If I can't find out what I need to know in that time, I note it for later research and keep going with a placeholder. I'll also set the timer for breaks, writing sprints, or anything that might pull me off course.

Scene Lists & Timelines - Having a scene list to follow was a real game changer for me early on in novel writing endeavors. When I start to feel my mind wander, just putting my eyes on the scene list to see where I'm supposed to be and where I'm supposed to be heading can be enough to get me back on track. Checking off each scene and plot point along the way makes it more task-driven which also seems to help keep me on track. You could do this with a timeline, too. And even if you're not a planner but like to write organically, you can still keep kind of a general scene list or timeline to keep you on course.

Writing with Hyperactive ADHD

My biggest struggle with the hyperactive side of my ADHD is fighting the constant need to get up and be anywhere but in my chair typing. I've actually been working on this post for an hour because I haven't done any of my safeguards, so I've been out of this chair probably 20 times since I hit the answer button. Here's what I could have done to prevent this...

Start Writing on a Full Stomach - Nothing gets me out of my chair more often when I'm writing than feeling like I'm hungry. So, I get up, eat a small snack. Sit down and type for a few minutes. Then decide I need another small snack. Whether you write after you've eaten a meal, sit down to write with something to drink and munch on, or just make sure you've got your big water bottle there, eliminating hunger pains as a reason to get up makes all the difference.

Do Writing Sprints - Set a timer for anywhere from five minutes to an hour, and write as much as you can during that time without stopping to edit or evaluate your work. Writing sprints are a great way to focus your energy to make sure writing is getting done. Five-minute intervals work great for me, but sometimes I can do ten-minute intervals. When the timer goes off, I set it again and get up to do a few things like stretch or get something to drink. Preferably anything that won't take longer than the timer or snowball into something else. This way, if I'm only writing for an hour I still get a solid 30-minutes of writing in even if I'm up and out of my chair every five minutes.

Keep a Basket of Fidget Toys - This doesn't always work for me, but sometimes it helps to have something to fidget with during the moments when I pause to think. Thinking putty, fidget spinners, stress balls... Anything you can do for a second while you're thinking and immediately put back down. That way you don't get up out of your seat looking for something to direct that energy toward.

Speech to Text App - If you really need to be up and moving, try getting a speech to text app for your phone and writing your story verbally while you do other things.

I hope that these tips will help you be able to sit down and start writing again. If you need ideas for exactly how to outline your story or general ideas for how to get started, see my guide to How to Outline a Plot as well as my Plot & Story Structure master list of posts.

Best wishes on your ADHD writing journey! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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#writing tips #writing help #writeblr #wriitng community #writers of tumblr #writing advice #wqaadvice

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daydreamsandcrashingwaves · 2 months

Text

KICTTC 5

I'm BACK helloooo! Oh my goodness friends! I have so much to tell you all! So I kinda was collar grabbed by this story so my edit of chapter 4 is SO different from what I posted here, SOOOOO I'm posting a bit of the edited Ch4 so no one misses out on plot! ahhh I've been so excited to share this all with you!!!! Transference chapter 3 is in the works as well as a secret WIP! I really wanna focus of my first two stories though so Idk when that will be up or what an update schedule might look like.

Anyways the Angst is strong, the trauma and body horror is as strong as the blasphemous tea I brew, read at your own leisure I aint yo mama lol

Stay safe, give yourself grace, take your meds, get some sun, burrow in a blanket nest, drink water and eat a snack lovelies!

~Ren

Once Danny makes a decision he throws himself in head first, this will be no different. Danny has to start at the beginning. He must tell them everything to have a hope of them understanding how Danny ended up dropping through a portal to his brother’s side. For… their family to understand what true danger hunts him even now.

Dick sips his cup of coffee only to look at it betrayed when it’s bitter and cold. He has been in Bruce’s study watching the live feed of the recovery room for hours. He managed to drag himself to bed when Alfred had insisted but his dreams had been plagued with Danyal trembling on the floor, knife hilt deep in his small neck, the sight of them in the doorway had made him panic and then he was bleeding out, his breath gurgling in his throat as he died. It was an awful way to wake up and he couldn’t even go check on Danyal in person! Damian had cashed in a lot of the blackmail he’s kept on them to keep them away. While Dick was proud of his little brother’s emotional growth, seeing their youngest in person would go a long way for Dick to shake off his nightmare. He is a bat though so he will endure, especially because this involves his family, his brothers.

As the sun started dipping below the horizon behind the curtains Tim walked into the study with two large cups filled to the top with coffee, one with a ton of sugar and cream the other plain black coffee, “Awe Timmy! You brought me coffee!” Dick snatches the plain one up with a smirk.

Tim just grumbles at his grabby hands and relinquishes the cup. He shuffles over to the couch and pulls out his laptop to work on something- Dick isn’t sure where Tim had managed to safely carry the computer with two fresh coffees- and promptly ignores the others as they file in the next ten or so minutes. Judging by the dark circles under everyone’s eyes, sleep was hard to come by.

Bruce is slumped into his chair watching the twins. No one breaks the silence. Dick eyes Jason from where his brother has propped himself against the wall out of the way Their father’s shoulders are tense in anger. So Talia is probably giving him the slip. He can’t help but feel resentment for the woman who keeps secrets that hurt his family. She knows that people don’t always stay dead. When Jason died, the only reason Dick had to face it, recognize that his little brother was dead was because they had his body as sure proof he had been murdered. Dick has seen many times how Bruce grieves and it’s never good. Adding in a twin? Bruce is holding himself together with sheer will power and meticulous training. Bruce might be almost impossible to read but he was the first boy to be adopted. He has more Bruce experience than anyone else in the family but Alfred. He can see the cracks.

Turning back to the screen Dick lets out a little coo at the image. Damian is awake and is looking at Danyal like he’d disappear from under the blanket they share. The boy carefully extracts himself to use the restroom that’s tucked away in the corner. When he comes back onto the screen he is changed into his sweatpants and a t-shirt Dick recognizes as his own. He also spots a change of clothes for Danyal in his arms, which he sets on the side table next to the bed before Damian goes around refilling the water pitcher and glass to be ready for use, setting fresh towels out.

Turning his attention to the younger boy, he can see how sickly the boy is when they’re side by side to compare. His pale skin shows off the dark veins underneath, his cheeks are caving into his face, all his baby fat eaten away, dark bruises under his eyes, and with how injured he was… it’s not telling a pretty story. Dick is confident that if Danyal hadn’t dropped out of the rafters in that warehouse they’d never know he could’ve been out there. He desperately needed help even if he hadn’t realized it yet. Bruce and Dick watch Damian crawl back into bed, Danny doesn’t wake but he does turn towards where Damian has frozen owl-eyed. An arm snags the bottom edge of Damian’s shirt and like a signal the rest of his limbs follow to entwine them together. It’s very cute. With a smirk Dick takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture. It’s unlikely to truly upset Damian since it’s probably the only picture that they have of the twins together right now, but however Damian responds when he knows the picture exists will be satisfying.

“Are we gonna get on with it or just sit in silence with our thumbs up our asses?” Jason glares, looking significantly more tense. He stares down the room while crossing his arms across his chest.

Dick sees Bruce’s shoulders square up like he’s bracing for a physical punch instead of the verbal jab. Batman has an almost obsessive need to know everything he can about a situation, it was one of his many lessons that they as his children made into muscle memory. Knowledge made carefully crafted contingency plans that kept their family safe on and off the streets. Something to hold, to have in reserve for when they need it. To be thrown so many unknowns in the shape of a brother was unsettling them all.

“Jason.” Dick throws him a disappointed look from where he stands by Bruce, placing a hand on his shoulder to diffuse the argument that would shortly explode. “Danyal hasn’t been conscious, he hasn’t had the chance to explain anything yet, has he?” He raises his eyebrow at his brother. The family might not always reach an agreement on, well most things, but Dick knows his younger brother cares. He does. He won’t admit it but he’s here. Red Hood sticks to Crime Alley, looking after his people and- though he won’t claim them- his kids. One glance at Danyal’s wounded, still form was all it took to gain his loyalty. Red Hood liked to take his aggression out on those who disrespect his claim. Jason’s impulse to run off and hunt the monsters who could harm a child this way was poorly hidden. Dick understood the feeling so he didn’t push further.

Jason sneered at his words but didn’t bite back, just turned his impatient gaze towards Tim. “I’m sure Tim has been doing more digging than sleeping.”

Bruce inhales sharply drawing all of their attention. He’s looking at the monitor, hitting the unmute, Damian’s voice floods the room. “I simply meant you only have to tell me what has happened since we were separated… Once, here. I-We had thought you would prefer what privacy we can afford while we determined who had made the grave mistake of harming you. The family, while well intentioned, can be overwhelming. It is difficult gathering everyone and having them sit quietly for extended periods of time and our family is… large.”

Damian’s description brought a small smile to Dick’s face. Danyal’s quiet reply dimmed the edges because he sounded so young.

The whole group shifted and was laser focused on their new family member. Dick can’t think of any way to describe this whole situation as wrong as he took in what he could see.. It had nothing to do with Danny himself, or maybe it was more accurate to say whatever made his newly claimed baby brother look like that was what was firing off all his finely honed warning bells. A glance around at the others makes it clear they’re all, for once, on the same page.

If Bruce’s glare could kill the poor monitor would’ve been smoking at this point. Danyal was clearly at the end of his rope. Dick will admit as much as it irks him Damian was right to sequester the recovery room and keep Danyal in a calm area. They watch in horror as Danyal starts to speak. He was hesitant and nervous at first but slowly gained confidence when Damian didn’t react adversely.

The rest of them didn’t have to restrain themselves.

“What the actual fuck?” That’s Tim’s angry voice, Dick shutters. He sounds like he’s already started on researching his shit list by the furious tapping that comes from the couch. Drs Fenton, the Ghost Investigation Ward, and Vlad Masters can’t possibly know what is coming for them. Dick isn’t sure whether to step in when Jason sinks down into the couch next to their younger brother and they immediately start whispering between themselves.

He decides after a long look at the twins murmuring to each other that he would rather check on Bruce. “B?”

The man that stands firm against Gotham’s most unsavory rogues, looks back at him lost. His eyes get drawn back to his sons on the screen, “He’s so small Dick. I-” It’s rare Bruce breaks in composure and Dick’s chest squeezes. His father looks haunted.

“We’re here for him now, B.” He says gently. There are no words he could say that can erase what is already done.

They listen to Tim and Jason in the background while watching Damian help Danyal get out of bed. Once on his feet Danyal waves his twin away. He’s weak and shaky but they breathe a bit easier when his legs don’t give out underneath his body weight. The short walk to the bathroom door seemed to have winded him. Danyal reaches for the wall and presses into it while he pauses. And pauses.

Damian hasn’t rushed to his side so Dick tries not to panic. He probably needs a moment to gather himself. “Do you think we need to send Alfred down?” He asks Bruce.

“What?” Tim and Jason both looked up at him in tandem.

“Danyal! He was- well he is- fine. But look! He’s all hunched like he can’t breathe right? Why is Damian just watching?” Dick frets wringing his hands.

Attention diverted from their plans of destruction the two leave the couch and crowd around Bruce’s desk.

“Oh fuck!” Tim curses, roughly rolling Bruce’s chair away from the keyboard. “I don’t know how they did it but I think the feed was paused, or spliced or looped. I’m trying to override it- Ah! I got it!”

The feed clears and they all blink at the empty room. The bathroom door is open and Danyal’s things that were by the door are gone.

Bruce jumps out of his chair. “What were they doing right before?”

Tim pulls up the saved file and finds the moments right before the glitch. “They’re hugging?” A few lines of code and Tim has the background volume boosted. A hushed conversation in Arabic reaches their ears.

“Okay Danyal, I understand and will help you,” Damian studies his brother for a moment, “how can I help you best in this moment Danyal, what is it you want.”

They watch Danyal look around at the room, fear leaking in now that he’s not focused on the boy with him. “I can’t be here. I won’t heal.”

Bruce flinches like Danyal had hit him.

They embraced, and whatever else was said was too muffled to pick up.

They watch entranced, like a bruise you can’t help but press on, as the scene plays out and ends with Danyal leaning against the wall.

“They can’t have gotten far, the demon brat wouldn’t risk hurting his precious twin, Dickie-Bird and I can fetch the chicks that flew the nest.” Jason sighs.

Bruce’s phone rings and they all look at it with reluctance. That’s Oracle’s ringtone so it’s important. Dick swipes the device and answers with a quick, “O, we’ve got a situation, please tell me this is important.”

“Yeah it is,” Barbra agrees, “if you guys were gonna patrol why wasn’t I looped in, huh?”

Dick exchanges a confused look with the others. “Uh no, O, we agreed no patrol tonight, Black Bat, Signal, and Spoiler were our covers.”

“Then why is the Batmobile headed towards the edge of town?”

They, with years of experience fighting side by side, spring in sync for the hidden entrance and pile into the elevator to the cave to change and to track down their brothers.

~~~~~~~

Gotham was unusually muggy this evening. Bruce could feel the sweat drip down his scalp and his suit was already damp. Breath blazed through his lungs yet brought him no warmth. He had to suppress his instinct to shiver. Fear was all he could feel. It was bone chillingly familiar. Nothing like Scarecrow’s toxin yet he was still sinking deeper into glacier littered water. As Batman, Bruce has taken many hits, faced the cruel underbelly of Gotham from the shadows and had said enough. Birthed from vengeance and relentlessly courting justice, he gets back up, keeps moving, doesn’t stay down even when he probably should. No one else had managed to stand against the city’s rogues. Every night he embraces their seething rage that blistered the streets and exploded buildings. Batman turns towards danger, not away. He is the shield that protects his city's people from the impact the best he can. It’s never enough. Batman has flung himself head first into a race that had long since started.

In the rare hours he is alone surrounded by the soft glow of the Batcomputer and the quiet rustling of sleeping bats he can admit, those first years, he had enjoyed the vicious fights. Tangoing with death each night. He was entranced, he would dance until the curtain dropped. It was a destructive cycle he couldn’t escape. As he’s aged his compulsion to run off has cooled, and it was only after the first time Dick got more than just a few bruises did he realize the true cost. Even if he couldn’t stop them, perhaps he should’ve tried harder to work with his children to ensure their safety. A family of vigilantes was a double edged blade. His curse to bear. The curse he spread. Every night his heart is split into pieces and goes with them as they stalk their prey from within the shadows. His children amaze terrify him in how they’ve all risen to fight back the miasma that threatens to swallow Gotham whole.

He doesn’t know Danyal, has never learned what his favorite breakfast is or seen him off to school. They have never shared late night training sessions. His youngest has never fallen asleep sequestered away in his own world working on a case and for Bruce to find him and tuck him into bed like he has with all of his children at least once. No. He was never given a chance. Danyal’s existence was hidden from him. His death was a secret Damian was manipulated into thinking he had to carry the weight alone. And people believed Batman to be some sort of legendary detective. If Bruce was less controlled he might scoff at the thought. He missed things, big and small, all the time. Most often it was his children that were affected by his carelessness, his lack of understanding.

He knows what it is to lose a son. In death and because of his own parental ineptitude. Bruce knows what it is for his world to spin out from under his feet and to let his rage blindly guide him. Bruce risks a glance at Jason, his walking, talking, breathing miracle. Why couldn’t he just say that to the person who needed to hear it. Jason had died, it was awful, truly awful. As an adult he has never felt so lost. Jason was only a child. A brilliant, bright, life snuffed out in the cruelest way only for some universal hiccup to thrust his soul back into body and for Talia to pick him up. They’ve never talked about the Y-incision that spans his entire torso. Jason hadn’t intended for him to see it. Bruce doesn’t know who is responsible. He doesn’t know if they dare breathe another breath on Earth. He’s afraid to ask. He’s afraid of what he’ll do if they aren’t already dead. No, the only thing he knew about it was what Jason had deliriously shared with him while sick with whooping cough. The cut may have happened but that was as far as they got. His ribs remained intact, his organs undisturbed. Bruce has to trust Jason told him the truth. Bruce hadn’t had the strength to imagine alternatives.

He has no choice now. Whatever Danyal’s journey has been, wherever he’s been. Bruce despairs that his youngest’s life journey has been too similar to Jason’s. Danny had listed off to Damian the multitude of injuries he had and Bruce just knew. Two of his sons have been dehumanized, valued as objects for other’s use, to state their curiosity. His youngest didn’t just get cut into, as despicable as that already was, no, he was awake, aware, alive as some sick fuck rooted around behind his ribs. (Half-alive. His gut rolls at the implications yet it brings none of his usual suspicions to draw his attention to what his son was hiding. Only he wasn’t hiding, not from the Wayne family. No, he had shared everything with very little prompting from Damian. Danyal was running from them) Bruce could only stare at the screen in his office in horror. How fast did his regenerative ability work to regrow his harvested organs? Did he have to break wrongly healed bones and had to hold them in place until they healed enough for him to escape or did his bones snap forcefully into place on their own-

It’s a race against time now. Danyal is in no condition to be on the run. It would crush him to send him away but Bruce would. He can find a secure place away from him for his son if that’s what it took to make him feel safe enough to rest. Recovery needs to be his number one priority, he had been slowly relaxing with Damian yet as soon as he wasn’t disoriented he fled. What does that say about how he thinks they’ll treat him? What does it say about Bruce that Damain felt he could better protect his twin alone?

Bruce forces himself to reach for his comms and connects to the main comm line they use for patrols. “Everyone, change of plans, keep your eyes open for both boys. They fled from the cave in the Batmobile, hail the line immediately if they’re sighted, I don’t expect Robin to linger once it stops.” Bruce internally curses at himself that he didn’t think to have some sort of code for his youngest. He’s known for creating contingency plans for his contingency plans, yet he is not prepared for this. He could’ve never prepared himself for the knowledge he had not one blood son but two, twins. He couldn’t be too revealing incase someone was listening. “We’re in pursuit of the Batmobile now. Remember the boys are both League trained, Robin likely will have some tricks he’ll play.. The boy’s full capabilities are still unknown and he is heavily injured, proceed with caution, the boy is likely running on instinct, resistance is expected. We want to avoid making them feel cornered.” His tone is tight with worry, He doesn’t blame Danyal for being suspicious. He may be their father, but as far as he knows it wouldn’t be safe. Well, Bruce can’t blame either of them, they’re children, his children. He will blame their mother though. “We want them to get them home safe with no further injuries.”

Some very distant part of him is proud of Damian for unequivocally having his brother’s back, if only they could bond over things that didn’t shave years off his life. Bruce has never been more stressed. Some day soon he’ll just have to embrace the grey that was sprouting in his black hair and give Alfred relief from helping him hide them.

“Copy that B-man! Our eyes are peeled!” Spoiler responds “I’m currently in Burnley, Orphan’s got Somerset covered and Signal is in Old Gotham! If they’re out here we’ll find them.”

“From what Oracle sent, I think I should be able to pick something up with my powers, I’ll keep trying while we move, B.” Signal pipes in.

“Thank you Signal.” Bruce is flooded with relief. He really is lucky to have them, there’s no one else he’d rather have at his back. They’ve all grown into their own. He tries not to sigh.

Discovering the twins missing had sent them scrambling, even Jason had looked worried and tucked away his instinct to question him or to argue, his second son had simply followed them down to the cave. At this rate he may get an ulcer. He had felt panic steal his critical thinking, as he led his boys south towards where the Batmoblie was speeding away faster than they could grapple. He had to find them. Gotham isn’t safe at night and Danyal’s movements will be restricted if he deems it important not to rip his stitches.

Moving through the air usually calmed him but tonight grappling wasn’t moving him around fast enough. Taking the Batmobile was smart of his sons, he begrudgingly had to admit, not only was it faster, the boys would be hidden inside. If Robin had driven his bike he’d have superior maneuverability even though Batman could’ve followed them faster, but if the boys had impacted something during a high speed chase to flee? They’d both be thrown. Danyal is already severely injured anything additional.. Bruce couldn’t make himself focus on that.

His Trouble Twins probably planned it this way to slow them down. To throw them off their tracks. It was working, the boys had a 10 minute lead on their group. They’d left as soon as they had suited up but they still were too far out of reach. Away from the protective shadow of his cape. He couldn’t protect them now that they left the safety of the manor. Jason was cursing underneath him on the street racing past buildings on his bike, he was slightly ahead of Batman and Nightwing’s position in the air, on the bike next to him Tim was working with Barbara to try and get eyes on the boys. Quiet suggestions on what to look for. Shadows that move unnaturally, flashes of color there and gone, how they needed an algorithm up to analyze all of the feeds simultaneously. With the many cameras in Gotham-more than half Bruce had bought for the city to install- they wouldn’t be so hard to find. They shouldn't be so difficult to find, but Damian was particularly slippery when he put in the effort. Bruce glanced at his eldest besides him.

Dick was one long string pulled too tight. He, of course, was still chatting happily with Barbara but his smile was strained at the edges, his movements too careful and precise. He hasn’t joked once. The possibility the man would snap increases the longer the twins are missing. It’s rare to see Dick outwardly expressing something other than the pure sunshine and patience. By the time Jason had come around he had curbed most of his bloodlust, it was a faint memory by the time Tim weaseled his way into their lives. It reminds Bruce too much of Brucie. The persona that he developed to hide from the vultures that would’ve taken everything from him as a child when tragedy struck. Before Bruce had decided to be active in Gotham’s social scene he knew it was better they underestimate poor orphaned Bruce Wayne. Brucie hid Batman, a shield to protect his family from those who would expose their secrets. He was necessary, even if Bruce felt suffocated most of the time. Was Dick hiding from him?

He has to suppress a shutter. All his children to some degree, whether on or off the streets, have adapted to Batman’s mannerisms and habits. It was essential to survive facing the threats they do. Dick though fell more into Bruce’s habits. His eldest son, who with a smile looked after his siblings while Bruce was distracted by some crisis or another.They both often blamed themselves for things they couldn’t stop or foresee. That heavy invisible weight that sits on their shoulders because they claimed it. Bruce knows that he’s failed his children, Dick.. Dick in particular has had to step up on his behalf to smooth things over between family members. Forced to become another parent to the kids he brought home. It was never Dick’s responsibility and it’s taken time and a lot of effort but Bruce is making steps forward, trying to stop repeating the same mistakes. It was only Alfred’s guidance and help raising the boy that he excelled instead of crumbling under Bruce’s incompetence. Bruce was trying though. Even if it was hard to talk about casually, he was in therapy, it was.. Helping. He’s not putting so much of himself onto his children these days. He’s been processing his thoughts and feelings instead of bottling them inside and letting his anger rule him.

Words though, they still escaped him on the best days. Today was shaping up into an absolutely horrible one. Bruce wanted to say something to reassure his sons that things would be okay. None sounded right. He let them choke him. If they could just find Danyal. As much as it would pain Bruce, his youngest doesn’t have to stay with them-with him. Bruce could never trap him here. He… He just wants Danyal to recover. Recover and be safe, whatever that looks like. The boy looked so small next to Damian. They’re twins and Danyal was so small on that bed next to his brother, all skin and bones, his skin stretched over his face making him look years older and the blood, oh God, it took a second but once they realized all that green was coming from inside of him, Bruce was sure they were going to be planning another funeral. The Y-shaped wound was gruesome and he had stared in shock. Another one of his children getting cut open, violated. Vivisected. He was going to mourn another child. He was going to puke. He was going to destroy those who dared to touch Danyal. A heady mix of vengeance and justice for a boy he’d never properly meet. Somehow though, the boy had stabilized. His boy, another one. He’s too old for surprise kids. Only to be spirited away by Damian behind layers and layers of traps that had made the family hesitate and then they were gone, on the run with Alfred’s careful stitches being the only thing holding Danyal together.

What were they thinking? Why wasn’t I? Why didn’t I fight Damian harder when he locked them out of the recovery room? No…Danyal was already compromised. Damian saw this and ran from his family because he didn’t trust them to protect Danyal, didn’t trust them not to set him off. Maybe they would’ve made it worse, maybe his son was right even if Bruce didn’t want to admit it. Damian was saving them from an error. The boy who he had only met unconscious or through a screen, would’ve lashed out at himself again and they would’ve caused his-

“B? The Batmobile’s tracker has stopped moving on the edge of Burnside near the Craig Bridge. I can’t get a clear view.” Oracle reports

“Hn.” He adjusts his trajectory and his sons follow suit, adjusting their positions to be out behind him in a V-shaped formation. If someone were to see them at this hour they’d see the vigilantes and would draw parallels between them and their namesakes, in normal circumstances it might bring a ghost of a smile across his face, they were a mixed bag flock. His flock. His family. He was thankful to have them at his back tonight. They’d find the boys, they had to. They still had nothing on the threat that was nipping at Danyal’s heels. If they were caught…

“Why would the Demon Brats go there?” Jason grumbles. They’re three blocks away now so Bruce has to fight his nausea down. They might have to subdue the boys if they won’t listen to reason. The idea of injuring Danyal further or obliterating any chance to build a relationship because he sees them as a threat rather than family. He has to stay firm though. He might have not been allowed in the room but between Alfred’s worried fretting and the security feed Bruce is very aware how Danyal shouldn’t be moving let alone going on the run with Damian. If Danyal would just let him explain he had options maybe he’d come back on his own.

“Hood, Red Robin, hang back and spread out. Start searching. I’d like to have our newest addition to Agent A within the hour. Nightwing with me.”

His grapple connects to the next roof and he leans into the arc so his path can wrap around the corner. Just ahead the Batmobile is stopped. The doors were open, no signs of the boys or of a struggle. Bruce knows they won’t find anything inside the Batmobile, Damian is efficient and clean in his work, but they look anyway. Bruce shares a look with his oldest and sighs.

“Nothing in the Batmobile, Hood, Red Robin, report.” He shoots his grapple at the closest roof to get a better view of the surrounding area, Nightwing follows closely behind him.

“Nothing that I can see.” Hood grunts.

“Nothing here either, no alerts from the cameras.” Red Robin sounds frustrated, “You don’t think they bailed in a dead zone, do you? Robin wouldn’t have him jump from a speeding vehicle, right?”

“Hn.” Bruce refuses to acknowledge that thought. Even if it was a likely option, if they felt it necessary to throw them off to that degree. Dick is quiet next to him. He wants to say the right thing to ease his worries. Bruce has never been good at finding the right words, to reassure without false promises but will always try, “We’ll figure out what happened, Chum.”

Dick looks at him for a long moment. Bruce lets him and tries not to shutter himself away. Dick needs Bruce more than Batman right now. “Yeah,” It comes out grim, “before or after my youngest brother reopens something?”

Bruce squeezes his son’s shoulder before turning away and shoots his grapple at the next roof. Right before he jumps he says, “We can only hope the boys are being careful and try our best to find them.”

#daydreamsandcrashingwaves #dc x dp #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batpham #demon twins au #danny fenton whump #danny and damian are twins #Keeping it close to the chest #fic writing #KICTTC fic #KICTTC update #my writing #lets just say this is more of a sneak peak ;3 #danny fenton #damian wayne #WHERE DID THEY GO BWAHAHAHHAHa

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bunnidid-reviews · 7 months

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DID Short Films

Something I really enjoy is watching short films about DID :) it's always intriguing to see what sort of representation can be showed in a few short minutes, and just how much care and attention to detail is put into it.

I don't have the energy to do a full review of each, but here's a lil list of my favorite short DID films, along with some trigger warnings!

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Petals of a Rose

Triggers to watch out for:

a non-explicit incestuous childhood sexual abuse flashback (there's a safe version to watch with this part cut out in the same link!)

a safe and gentle non-explicit sex scene

dissociating and switching during sex

spiraling, hitting self, friction between parts

over-crowded dialogue

Things I love about this short:

We get multiple stellar scenes of what it can feel like to have DID - like being overwhelmed in the grocery store, talking yourself through the steps of it all. I really related to a lot of this

A good representation of how both positive and negative triggers can cause switches

communication between parts!

the implication of there being more parts yet to be found and how that's just kind of an accepted reality? I don't know if thats relatable for anyone else, but it really is for me

A LOVING AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP :DDD a partner who loves and supports and listens even if he doesn't fully understands, but clearly wants to. The amount of relief I felt when the partner STAYED with her after experiencing triggers during sex!!

The reiterations at the end that Now Time Is Safe and also, We Deserve to be Loved, and also, Each and every part is appreciated and loved

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Alter

youtube

Triggers to watch out for:

mild friction between parts

time loss + confusion

Things I love about this short:

The actress who portrayed the parts did a really stunning job with expressing complicated emotions surrounding time loss and the acceptance of a new part showing up

portraying a well-established system with functional multiplicity!

the use of color to portray parts is something I always remember about this one! I love that each part represents a color! I love that you can see all those colors throughout the home and in the outfits!! I love the rainbow-striped shirt she wore in the end with all the alters' colors + extra space, as if to signify that they're ready to accept more parts!!! aaaa!!! Such a great aesthetic to this film

I was SO pleased there really isnt anything triggering about this film. It's important to indicate that trauma creates the disorder, but it's SO nice when we get a bit of a break from the Horrors

supportive therapist :D

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Alters and Me

youtube

Triggers to watch out for:

Mentions of trauma/abuse (very general + vague)

use of Alcohol to cope

self harm, visible scars

yelling/crying

Things I love about this short:

I like that this one's more like a general overview of the alters and how our main character came to understand and accept her DID

nonhuman alter representation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (a doggo)

The alter who struggles with alcoholic coping and self harm has a realistic reformation arc and turns out to be a cherished caretaker!!

Overall this one's pretty short, but very down to earth and realistic without being too triggering. I liked it a lot!

_______________________

I'm sure there are others that are good too, but that's my list for now! I tried to choose ones that didn't lean too far into horror trope editing or twists so they're safe for anyone to watch :) I might add to this sometime in the future if I see more

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy! Feel free to let me know your thoughts or share some of your favorites with me, you know I'm always curious to hear about this stuff

#dissociative identity disorder #did in media #actuallydid #bunnidid reviews #media reccs #complex dissociative disorder #did short films #short films #I could not tell you who made this list or why but she's not here now #Youtube

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baek-at-it-again95 · 1 year

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Deja Vu (Spiderman! Yunho x reader)

Synopsis: It had been three weeks since you saw him. The masked stranger that seemed to appear out of nowhere, protecting your city from crime. The people of the town call him Spiderman, and he has plagued your mind day and night since he saved you.

Warnings: violence, very brief mention of a near death experience, sort of suggestive but not really, I do not know anything about chemistry so please forgive me

Concepts: best friend yunho x reader, ex choi san, angst, fluff, romance, comfort

A/N: hello beautiful atinys! A lovely friend of mine had this genius idea that I had to bring to life. we were totally not inspired by a tiktok edit. It has very similar plot points to the original spiderman movies. I hope you enjoy! <3

"But...who do you think he is?" you ask your best friend, Yunho. He holds the door open for you as you leave your chemistry class together.

"Who knows...but you worry about Spiderman more than you worry about yourself these days, Y/N."

"What can I do?" you ask, throwing your hands up haphazardly. "I almost died falling off a building. That's kind of traumatic, Yunho. Might as well talk about the guy who save me." He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I understand. Stay out of trouble, will you? I worry about you being out and about on your own. Hell, I worry something's happened to you when you don't respond to my texts within a five minute window."

"Clingy much?" you tease, knowing how much of an overthinker your best friend is.

"N-not in like a weird way!" Yunho sputters, dragging a hand down his face in embarrassment. "You're my best friend, Y/N. It's my job to be worried about you. Besides...who else am I going to study chemistry with?" He shoots you his usually goofy grin and you laugh.

"Not me, you know I hate this class!"

"Oh come on, you're the only person that will listen to me talk about it."

"I guess that's my job in this friendship." You shrug. "I will say, it's just so sexy the way you talk about ionic compounds. I can never stop listening." You snort.

"Good to know," he retorts, grabbing your backpack to keep you from running into people on the way to your next class. "Study at the usual spot tonight?" he asks.

You laugh. "I'll be there, sexy."

***

The past few weeks after the incident have been rocky for you, and since you made it halfway through this week without any issue, it gave you a false sense of hope that things could be back to normal.

But no. As if your night couldn't get any worse...

About thirty minutes ago, your boyfriend, Choi San, told you that he wants to take a break from the relationship. You know your relationship has been strained recently, but you thought that it would just pass with time. Maybe it's for the better, but for now, your emotions are still high. Oh, and you found out that you bombed your chem test earlier today. And as if that wasn't terrible enough, the icing on the cake was that it had started pouring on your walk home.

At least no one can see my tears in the rain, you think to yourself, head down as you walk to your dorm.

"Y/N?"

You sniff, quickly wiping at your face on instinct. When you look up, you come face to face with Jeong Yunho. You muster up the best smile you can to greet him, praying he doesn't ask any questions. If you have to answer anything about your miserable day, you'll surely crack and start crying even harder. "Hey Yuyu." His eyebrows crease with worry, and you think he might have caught on to something.

"You're going to get sick out here," he comments.

You breathe a small sigh of relief. "No worries. I'm almost home, anyways. No use in calling for a taxi. But...what are you doing out, Yunho?"

"Oh, well I...um...I accidentally fell asleep at the library."

"Again?" you ask.

"Again," he confirms, hands in his pockets and eyes on his feet.

"Well, let's get home quickly. God, I can't wait to be out of these clothes," you groan, the wet fabric sticking to every part of you and making you uncomfortable. You just barely catch the soft pink of Yunho's cheeks in the low light of the street lamps. "Look, you're already getting sick. Go, hurry home," you push, shooing him away.

"I'm going, I'm going. Goodnight, Y/N."

"Night, Yuyu."

You continue on in the direction of your dorm, eyes on the ground as you make a sad attempt not to splash in deep puddles. The walk seems to drag on longer than usual as you're left alone again with your thoughts.

"Hey!" A voice rings immediately after you turn the corner. It sounded like it came from across the street. You don't stop, just turn to glance at what's going on. That's when you see about four men, dressed in black, walking towards you. You quicken your pace, heart beating rapidly in your chest as you hear the men moving closer. You turn down an alley in hopes of losing them, but they're too fast.

"Hey sweetheart, give us your bag and we'll leave you alone."

"Wait!" you call out. Your thoughts run at a million miles per hour, trying to process the entire situation that occurred in what felt like seconds.

"Or not." Another one chimes in, laughing. You barely have time to process anything as one of them pushes you, shoving the side of your body into the wall. You cry out, closing your eyes and bracing yourself for another hit.

But after a moment, nothing comes.

You hear some shuffling and some shouts in front of you. Lowering your hands from their protective position in front of your face, you open your eyes, seeing one of the men running away. What is happening? As he runs, a force pulls him back quickly. He's pulled by...a rope? No, a web. Spiderman appears right before your eyes, kicking the man to the ground. The criminal scoots back, turning and running away in the direction he and the others came. Spiderman then quickly disappears around the corner.

When you turn to leave, he's right in front of you, hanging upside down from a web. A small gasp escapes your lips.

"You seem to be a danger magnet," he comments.

"It seems so. I suppose you're dangerous, then?"

"No, quite the opposite." You smile.

"There must be some way to thank you," you wonder aloud, taking a step closer. You bring your hands to his face, hesitating as your fingertips touch the hem of his mask.

"Wait," he starts. But he doesn't say anything more. You gently pull the mask up until it stops just over his nose.

"Thank you." You gently bring your lips to his. The kiss is slow and passionate, so lovely that you don't want it to end. But that would be against your better judgement. It's getting late, and he must have other things to attend to. You pull away just slightly, slowly pulling the mask back over his face. And with that, he shoots a web and swings up into the air, gone as quickly as he came.

***

"Y/N."

"Mm."

"Y/N," Yunho repeats, waving a hand in front of your face. "Are you okay?"

"I had possibly the worst night ever last night. So, no, not really," you reply curtly.

"What happened?"

"Where do I even begin? Oh, for starters, San and I are taking a break," you huff, continuing before he can insert his words of pity. "Which is basically inescapable relationship purgatory. Then I found out I bombed our chem test, got poured on, and after running into you, I almost got jumped." You choose to withhold the information about Spiderman, still trying to wrap your head around your interaction with him.

"Y/N, that's awful," he replies, concern etched on every inch of his face.

"Yeah, it was, Yunho."

"Are you sure you're alright enough to be at school right now?"

"Yep. I pay for this school, so it makes me feel better when I come to class, even if I don't pay attention. Plus, it's Friday. I can push through until the weekend." He looks like he has more to say, but he just nods.

"Do you want to stay at my place tonight?" he asks suddenly. You look at him curiously. Sure, you've been to your best friend's apartment, but only to study or to pick up something before heading out somewhere. You've never stayed the night. "N-not like, I mean...we can just hang. Maybe it will help you take your mind off things. And you'll be safe," he adds.

"A sleepover? With my bestie? How could I say no?" Yunho smiles his adorable smile in response, and you can't help but think about how sweet he is. You haven't exactly returned his kindness lately with everything going on, and maybe you can talk to him about it at his place...at least give him some sort of apology.

***

"That's so you!" says Yunho, pointing at a character in the movie he put on.

"Absolutely not!" you exclaim, throwing a piece of popcorn at him.

"Ah, not nice!" he laughs, grabbing your wrist. Your smile falters and he lets go as soon as he notices. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asks worriedly.

"No, no, it's okay. I just...I remembered I needed to talk to you about something." He tilts his head, looking at you like an innocent puppy.

"Oh, what is it?" His tone is soft, with maybe a hint of nervousness.

"I just...I've been so in my head recently that I feel like I haven't been involved with you. All the time, you check on my wellbeing, and I forget to check on yours. I mean, when was the last time I asked how your life was going? You offer me nothing but kindness, and I have not returned it to you. And I'm really sorry, Yunho."

"Y/N, it's not like that," he assures gently. "I understand that you've been through a lot of stressful things recently. It's only human that you would react negatively to these stressors. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. No one is perfect, and no one's life is absent of hardships. People need guidance; they need care. People need stability in a time when their life is thrown off balance. Just know that I will be that stability for you, Y/N."

"Yunho—" you choke out, the all-too-familiar burning sensation in your throat as you fight back tears.

"Oh, don't cry." He glances around nervously, not really sure how to comfort you.

You laugh through your tears. "I just...what did I do to deserve you?" You practically knock him over as you crash your lips onto his, relaxing into his arms. Your kiss slow and passionate; warm and comforting. It's blissful, and it seems...oddly familiar. But you've never kissed your best friend before. Maybe in a dream? Your ex surely didn't kiss like this. You gently pull away from him, eyebrows scrunched.

"What?" Yunho asks, scanning your face.

"I just...got deja vu," you mumble.

"Strange." Yunho shrugs, pulling you back into a kiss. You push away again and giggle as he tries to chase your lips. The familiar feeling is still present. The only person you've kissed like this is....

The thought that pops into your head seems so unbelievable, so embarrassing that you don't dare give too much away in fear of being wrong.

"You're...him?" you whisper.

"Who?" he asks with big eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

"You know who!"

"No, I don't know what you're talking about, Y/N." It feels as if he's teasing you. You groan out of frustration, not wanting to be wrong about such an outlandish idea. Yunho suddenly tenses a bit, setting you gently on the couch as he gets up.

"Well...perfect timing. Something's going on downtown," he says, disappearing into his room. You watch with a confused look until he emerges, clad in the familiar blue and red suit, mask in hand. Even though you had just made the connection...it didn't seem real. Your breath catches in your throat as you watch him.

"You just told me you knew. Why are you all shocked?" he asks.

"I didn't know I was right," you manage. Your nerdy best friend? A superhero that fights crime? Unbelievable. Yunho slides a window open before he looks back to you.

"I'll be back in a few, okay?" You nod, coming over to him.

"Okay. Be safe." You peck his lips before he puts on his mask, climbing out the window. He leaps off the balcony and your heart practically stops, only to start back up again as you see him swinging on his webs from building to building. "Oh my god," you mutter to yourself, running a hand down your face.

You have a lot of things to say when he gets back. Starting with the fact that this was way sexier than ionic compounds.

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