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alfheimr · 1 month

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My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes

i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:

this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.

the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.

this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.

i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.

for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.

note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!

note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!

with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?

the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.

so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.

these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!

you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.

this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.

let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.

gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:

some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.

for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.

here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.

i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?

i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.

yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.

i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.

i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.

the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.

typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!

this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.

let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.

just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?

#process #art tutorial #unsure what else to tag this as. if this does not post properly i will cry.

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honey-beann · 6 months

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Okay this might be kind of weird, but could I request some Nines headcannons about how he is with an s/o with long hair? Idk I just feel like he might have particular interactions or things to say about it and I was curious what your take on something likke this might be?

Nines with an S/O who has long hair

Note: Hi Anon! Thanks so much for the request, I had a ton of fun with this! (and as someone with incredibly long hair, it is absolutely not self-serving in the slightest, nuh uh, no way, no how.)

(it definitely is lol).

I hope that you enjoy!

Okay so here's the thing, I know that people might assume that being in a relationship with someone who has long hair is no different than being in a relationship with someone with short/medium length hair, and in a lot of ways, they're absolutely right.

That said, being in a relationship with an android like Nines, who is far more observant than the average man, and a lot more curious about the human body and all of its particular intricacies, would definitely mean that he's more interested in/aware of the subtle impacts that hair lengths and the ways they are managed can have on life style.

For example, I think he would find it interesting how much more upkeep longer hair can require (though this also depends on texture), the increased frequency with which it seems to shed or fall out, and of course, the vast number of styling techniques and designs that can be used on longer hair.

He definitely likes to touch it a lot, and may even offer to brush it for you or help you to style it in some particular way (though there is a 90% chance that you'll have to ask him to so he doesn't risk letting you know how much he likes the feeling of it beneath his fingertips).

Absolutely will braid your hair though, and he always gets the sectioning even, so that's a huge plus.

That said, he will never cease to tease you about how inconvenient your hair can be at times.

If he ever sees you pull a hair out of your food, or find one essentially threaded into a garment of yours (or his), he will immediately remind you of your choice to wear your hair as long as you do (and you can't even argue that it isn't yours with him, because he's already scanned it to prove otherwise).

If you have any form of hair care routine outside of showering, he loves to watch you go through it, eyes both curious and amused at the same time as he takes in your techniques and learns why you utilize them.

If you don't do anything outside of the shower though, don't fret, because he is a big fan of shampooing your hair if you'll let him, and he will never fail to let you know if you should still be rinsing anything out.

"There's still shampoo on your roots" as you walk out of the bathroom, prompting you to simply turn around and start the shower up again with a sigh.

Can and will scan your hair products for bad ingredients and let you know how unwise it is to use them (though he sucks at giving positive feedback in that area, so if you want to know what might be good, you would probably have to ask him directly).

"That is going to dry out your hair."

"That isn't for your hair type."

"Reviews state that this makes consumers' hair fall out after a few weeks of use."

"There is a known carcinogen in that hair mask."

Bro is relentless in his product complaints (but it's only because he cares about the health of both you and your hair lol).

He definitely doesn't quite understand why anyone would choose to keep their hair so long if it can make caring for it so much more complex, but he certainly doesn't mind it as long as you keep letting him entertain himself by playing with it or helping you to try out new/different styles.

Oh, but regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship with him, if you work together, he absolutely loathes your long hair (at least some of the time).

Definitely thinks that it gets in the way far too often and that it's annoying that you have to take the time to put it up just to keep it away from your face during the work day.

Has absolutely been smacked with your hair before while standing behind you without you realizing.

Cannot stand it when you wine about the heat while choosing to have so much hair trapping warmth in against the back of your neck.

Has absolutely contemplated cutting it off himself before.

Becomes rather amused at watching you attempt to de-tangle it after a particularly rigorous chase or anything similar, and thinks of it as karma for you choosing to have longer hair in a field like law enforcement.

(Secretly likes finding your hairs on his work chair after you've sat in it though, and was weirdly endured when he found a hair of yours stuck to his jacket for the first time).

masterlist

AO3

#request #dbh headcanons #dbh x reader #dbh x reader headcanons #dbh nines x reader #nines x reader #nines rk900

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kimbap-r0ll · 2 years

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Twst characters with a blind prefect please?

Hello, thank you for the ask! I'm not sure which characters you wanted for this one, so I just chose three for this one randomly. This is my first time writing for a blind reader, so if there are any mistakes, let me know. I hope you enjoy!

Jade, Deuce, Jack x blind!prefect

Jade

You would think he would tease you for being blind but he doesn't do that. He might enjoy making jokes from time to time, but when it comes to who the person is, he tends to not poke at them.

He's super mindful. If you ever need help when in a crowded area or for other kinds of activities, he's there for you. He's especially close by when there's people that want to harm you in any way.

By the way, people that push you around, or use your blindness to do harm, will get a not-so nice visit from the tweels (yes Floyd will be involved).

Jade might be a little sad that you can't see a mountain-side's beauty, but he tries his best to describe the scenery with you. He likes giving you things from your walks together, usually things that smell really nice like flowers or with nice textures like pebbles.

Overall, he won't see you being blind as something negative. He loves you for who you are, and I feel like he'll be super gentle with you, something you don't see often with this guy.

Deuce

He probably didn't know at first and would say things like "over there" while pointing when you guys first met. Of course, you explain to him right after that you can't see and he's so embarrassed by his mistake.

He's really protective over you. Though you tell him you'll be fine with doing things by yourself, he insists he can help. He holds your hand tightly when you guys walk together downtown or on campus.

Similar to Jade, he won't take bullies or harassers very nicely. He'll likely scare you in the process. Imagine this; you two are walking and suddenly someone throws a mean comment your way, specifically about your blindness. You flinch a bit at the sudden comment, but shake your head and try to brush it off, only for Deuce to suddenly yell next to you "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" A fist-fight occurs, Deuce eventually wins and the harassers run away cursing. You don't see it but he's bruised all over, he just tells you it was nothing. He really wants to be like a guardian angel to you ;-;

He sends letters to his mother a lot, describing you. He talks about how much he loves spending time with you, how he's still learning about your interests, etc. He reads you his mother's letters from time to time, and from what you hear, Deuce's mother loves you.

He might be a bit on the protective side, but he truly cares for you. Blind or not, you are still you, and he always wants to be by your side.

Jack

Probably the most sensible out of these three. He asks you gently at some point and you explain that you are blind. He won't ask much after that. He does some research on what kinds of things he should do to help you and what to avoid.

He's protective. Maybe more than Deuce tbh. He doesn't back down from wrapping an arm around you when in crowded places. He always talks to you about certain directions if you need it.

He's like Deuce in jumping into a fight, though less loud. You'll feel him tense up if people choose to make fun of you. He'll tell in a really soft voice to stay put before he scares the harassers away with his intimidating aura alone haha.

He'll surprise you with gifts a lot! He'll just bring plants that he cared for from time to time so you can decorate Ramshackle. He might give you strawberries on some occasions so you guys can snack on them together.

Just like the others above, he loves you. He wants to keep you safe but he knows that you're strong and independent too. Overall, he cares for you deeply and wants you to know that you matter to him so much.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twst headcanons #anon ask #twst x reader #twst prefect #gn!reader #twst jade #twst jade leech #twst jade x reader #twst deuce #twst deuce spade #twst deuce x reader #twst jack #twst jack howl #twst jack x reader

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kirk-goes-to-gallifrey · 2 months

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I love your art! (I clicked on your art tag and started scrolling.) What is your process for creating a piece? Do you usually look at a single reference photo which you draw from? Do you somehow incorporate photos into your drawings by drawing over them? (I did that once on a tablet.) Or do you use another method? Thanks!

omg hiiiii thanks so much!!!!!!!!

my process is a bit all over the place (I've tried to describe it before with not much success, maybe now I can do a better job hahaha) but yes I always need reference photos, I can't draw anything from my imagination :( sometimes I use more than one picture, but most times I think I use just one photo that I really like and want to reproduce.

when I'm feeling super inspired and I have a lot of free time, I draw from observation only. And then if I get stuck on a particular spot that I feel I can't get right, I overlay the reference picture and make the necessary adjustments. I've been replicating images for such a long time that nowadays I can usually overlay the original over my drawing and 90% of lines match 😅 And when I draw on paper I do the same thing, I place the paper over my screen to check if the lines are where they should be, but always retroactively, first I draw then I check.

I actually started out drawing everything upside down! I learned that technique with another artist (I took a course when I was in high school 15 years ago), cause apparently if you flip your reference upside down, a house stops being a house, eyes stop being eyes, a mouth stops being a mouth, so you can focus on distances between points, lines, areas and proportions only, without thinking "oh a mouth looks like a little cartoon bird on top of a minimalist boat" or whatever, but rather "this shape is about the same size as that one, and is positioned in relation to that other one and that other line..." So that's sort of how I learned to draw/replicate I what I see (if that made any sense). And replicating a photo is much easier than drawing reality cause a picture is already 2D, when I'm drawing something real I have to convert the 3 dimensions to 2 in my head and I often get a headache by the end of the process lmao

Sometimes I don't have the time or energy (it takes a lot of effort from the brain to do the observation thing) and in those cases I do some lines over the reference pic just to get key areas, then I delete the reference layer (of course I keep a copy in another corner of the screen so I can keep looking at it) and paint over the sketched lines till they mostly disappear.

I think painting is the most fun - either in color or b&w - getting the shades to blend and the painting to look realistic is the part that I like most.

I usually paint on photoshop but I recently got a tablet and I've been trying out new software on it. I mostly require a soft brush with opacity varying with pressure. I start out by doing blocks of color and then I blend blend blend.

I often think that my art is not very good (sometimes I question whether it's art in the first place), cause the only thing I'm good at is copying what I see, and because of that I've been trying to play more with colors and textures, trying to make my paintings a bit more different than their reference photos, a bit more "artistic" idk. I wish I could do more stylized stuff. But the realism can be fun too, it relaxes my brain after a whole day of PhDying.

Thank you so much for the ask!!! And for telling me that you like my stuff (ಥ _ ಥ) means a lot <3

#I hope this made some sense??#I think I'm gonna try to put some examples in a reblog later #thanks for the ask!#wild-raven-and-crow #kirk.goes.to.gallifrey

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grimalkinmessor · 1 year

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Near from Death Note for the character headcanon ask game

I love Near he's my baby ^.^

Fluffy-

As an adult his favorite toys are actually rubix cubes; not because they're hard for him to do, but because he can switch around the colors and push them together to make pictures. It's like forming his own, more complicated puzzles, and he often tries to build them so they have different pictures on each side. Roger hates it because he'll walk in and there's just a huge WALL of rubix cubes in the middle of the room and he can't risk knocking them over on pain of death disappointment.

He learned how to braid hair from Mello when they were young, and it becomes a bit of a stim as his hair gets longer. It stays almost perpetually tangled and he has to get someone to help him brush it after a bath. He gets a bag of ribbons once and spends the rest of the day making a whole rainbow of braids in his hair.

Mello used to give him pieces of his chocolate, but because Mello freezes his chocolate bars and Near has sensory issues, he usually just likes to let the square sit in his mouth and melt instead of eating it normally. You can give him a square of chocolate and come back an hour later and he'll still be holding it in his mouth.

Near is a bit like a cat in that he likes to hide in invisible spaces. He'll disappear for several hours and all of his agents go nuts trying to find him, thinking his been kidnapped, only to find him playing solitaire on top of the fridge, and the only reason they saw him is because he scared the hell out of Giovanni by asking him to grab a card that he'd dropped. The people at Wammy's quickly got used to it—it takes his agents far longer lmao.

While Near hates actually being outside, he really enjoys laying out in the sun. He will move his toys across the floor to follow the patches of sunlight throughout the day. There was a sun room at Wammy's, and if he wasn't curled up in one of the library window seats, he was down there sprawled out on one of the couches. In the winter he builds himself a blanket nest near one of the radiators and refuses to move. You will have forcibly pry him away from his chosen spot unless you give him a very good reason to vacate it.

Angsty-

Near's mother gave him up voluntarily. He was the product of an abusive relationship and she just couldn't bear to look at him anymore, so she left him in a bundle on the doorstep of an orphanage with his birth certificate and never looked back. Near looked her up once as an adult out of curiosity—she's living happily with her wife somewhere down in France. Near leaves her alone.

He only knows four (4) languages fluently—even though he picks them up very quickly—and it's through conscious choice. Given that he already struggles with verbal nuances in his home tongue, he only learns new languages when he has to. He much prefers to communicate either through text or sign language because he's gotten in trouble a few too many times with his 'monotonous' tone of voice.

Near never actually gave a shit about becoming the next L. He didn't care about upholding his legacy or carrying out L's justice—he just was so much like L in his mannerisms that Wammy's pushed him far harder towards that path than the others. He's been told he should be a detective for so long that he just accepted that he would be one instead of actually examining what he wanted to do with his life. Detective work is fun to an extent, but Near doesn't really enjoy it. At least, not without something to make it interesting.

Near fucking hates food. He hates it. The act of eating makes him queasy a lot of the time simply because he dislikes the texture of a lot of foods in his mouth. It is a struggle to get him to eat literally anything. The human function of having a digestive tract and needing to consume food annoys him deeply. What he can handle varies from day to day too, so Roger can't easily work around his dietary restrictions like Watari did for L. Some days he can eat two whole meals with minimal struggle, and other days it's a fight to get him to eat literally anything.

Despite telling Mello that he gave him the only remaining photo of him, that was a lie. Near kept a copy of it in a lockbox back in America in one of his safe houses, and he went back for it after the Kira case was over. He keeps it in his shirt, close to his heart, and he keeps meaning to make a necklace out of it but always bails before he has to hand over the picture. Every year on Mello's birthday, he'll go to the spot he died and curl up against his gravestone and whisper little apologies for lying to him about it. Most years he falls asleep out there and Giovanni has to come fetch him in the morning.

#near #nate river #headcanons #death note #tw food issues

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lovelydiamond-cake · 2 years

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For the ship thing: yogurt cream and lilac

Random thought- if Yogurt cream was in kingdom he'd probably be a support.

I physically can't see him as anything else

Tk scenario #1

Lilac kinda just relaxing because he a tiring day with the energetic prince, but then Yogurt cream barges in wondering where his beautiful bodyguard boyfriend is.

Once he sees him, he jumps on the bed with Lilac and starts going on and on about what they should do tomorrow. Either it being gambles or looking at pretty sights(Which always involves in Yogurt talking about himself and the new riches he found)

Lilac, who doesn't want to hear about tomorrow's adventures, simply just turns over to his prince and stared at his body

Was he always that exposed?

And why does he look so soft?

With those two questions in mind, this random urge to squish the prince's body rapidly grew.

"And! How can I forgot!! We can go to that hotel again! You know how much I- Oh! Aww!! Lilac! I didn't know you wanted to cuddle!!"

For a while, absolutely nothing that the playful prince said was entering Lilac's head.

"Ooo! I always forget how strong you are! You're hugging me so tight!"

"I'm making sure you don't protest."

"Protest? Why would I protest such a wonderful feeling!!

"You tend to get jumpy when I do things like this"

Yogurt cream ignored what Lilac said and snuggled deeper into his bare skin. It was nice and his body heat made Cream feel so warm and content.

Oh how he loves moments like this.

"Ah- Lilac what are you do-hoing?"

No response, Lilac's grip only tightened to make sure Yogurt wouldn't move as much.

"Wahahit!! Li-LAahah" he Giggled, squealing every so often when Lilac pinched to quickly.

Lilac ignored the prince's protest, only pinching quicker.

He was right. His body was soft.. and squishy in some area's.

His focus was so tied on the prince's body texture, he didn't even realize the Prince's actual state in tickly agony.

Tk scenario #2

Yogurt cream was tracing Lilac's face, later to do his body, and a way to relax after all the fun they had today.

Fun was a the last word Lilac would use to describe today, but at least he gets rewarded with his lover's affection.

He would never say it out loud, but moments like this was the best part of the day. He gets to relax; sleep almost, Yogurt cream is too busy outlining every part of his face to speak about for eventful today was, the warm from Yogurt cream's body was comforting. It was just perfect.

"Ngh-"

Lilac opened his eyes to see Yorgurt had stop tracing his face and went to a scar the was laced across his ribs.

"Oh! My apologies did that hurt?"

It didn't hurt no, but it did feel weird. He never felt something like that before..

"No.. you may continue of you'd like."

Without further question Yorgurt Cream continued.

This time Lilac was more alert in what Yorgurt was doing.

"Ah-!"

"Hm? Oh! Did I hurt you again?"

"No- no I don't understand what your doing.."

Every time Yorgurt Cream softly touched one of his many scars, he would react.

And he didn't have a clue why.

"I'm only touching you! You know, the way you like it!"

He wasn't wrong, this was the way Lilac liked to be touched, but the second he was touched in a certain area, he felt this odd tingly feeling that triggered something in his chest.

"You gotten a lot of new scars lately.."

"haAAah"

....

Well that was embarrassing..

And the expression Yorgurt had on his face didn't make it any better.

"Do that again!! I don't think you every let out that much emotion!!"

Before Lilac could deny it, Yorgurt brushed his hand against his scars again cause an even bigger light breathy laugh.

"Oh my goodness!! You should do that more often- where.. where are you.."

"My service here is done Goodnight Yorgurt Cream."

"Wha- No! I wanna do it again-! Why are you running!???"

I have no idea how to end the second one.

Thank you for the ask!!

#cookie run #tickle #cr tickles #tickle thoughts #lilac cookie #yogurt cream cookie #tickle scenarios

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kirazdaha · 1 year

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HAHAHAHA Every Turk Family has one of those names and unironically mine does too 🫡 Tell your mother thank you she is a very lovely lady

I know all of the artists you listed below because my dad blasts them on the radio everytime we go out... I call it old people music but hey I never said it was bad, they're awesome and I might have memorised some of the artist's songs from how much I listen to them... Barış Manço is a classic without a doubt! Fun fact my parents were able to go to his concert and got a signed picture with him I will always envy how lucky they were 😭 I love how women in the industry made the most iconic songs I hear them often in weddings too! Or clubs, even though I only went to one once I'm not very fond of them...

My questions were do you have any tips or inspiration with how you draw! I love your art and artstyle and it's honestly what I've been trying to achieve for a while, I can't believe I'm learning how to draw men because of a silly lawyer show it's a disease...

(We are just having a conversation at this point) (I feel like those people who speak out loud in public) (I hope you and anyone who's reading this is having a good day :) be kind to yourself and others everyone)

OH MY GOD i envy them too😭😭 also omg that sounds like heaven to me. the other day i went out partying and i felt sooo out of place because i only knew like 3 songs. omg it was so so bad.

hmmm tips and inspiration…. my number 1 tip would definitely be to look at a lot of other artists you like and analyze what exactly you like. and then try to emulate that in your own work. i try to look for inspiration everywhere - artists online, traditional artists, old masters, 3d artists, even theatre and poetry, etc. - doesnt mean that i am equally inspired by them all (because all these things at once sound so scary and big but they really arent!) but rather, i try to be open for anything and that helps me find inspiration :)

ill try to explain my thoughts more under the cut because this got long:

for me for example, so far i only posted some art i made that was lined (which, i would say makes up maybe half of the art i draw - i mostly sketch and recently have been building up the courage to paint more) and one of my inspirations is meltow. i think if you go over and check out their art youll definitely see it lol. but also i love the clean look some comics have and my friends tell me my art looks like it belongs in a comic which, i guess yeah :) when it comes to colors and composition i LOVE this artists works. i still have a lot to learn and just looking at their works inspires me so much!!!

i will say i have ALWAYS struggled with lineart. its probably the worst thing in the world to me because it never feels right!!! i like lining on paper with harsh inks and stiff ink nibs that allow for like. very little variety in line weight, but i havent done that in over 3 years (i hope i can get back to that). but yes, something about lineart makes me feel so icky when i use any brush that reacts to the pressure you put on your tablet LOL i just hate it. ugh. i havent been able to work it out.

it was only in 2020 i think that i decided to try it out with a thick brush with some texture and no pen pressure. that probably was the first time i got actual lineart that (at the time) i liked done. and then later on, discovering that other artists are able to achieve beautiful drawings with similar brushes AND that lining with a very simple brush can feel so satisfying helped me evolve a lot! until 2022, i actually wasnt able to give my art the kind of finished look that i wanted. so what people consider my style is really just born out of my limits and working with them. that obviously doesnt mean that i dont try to challenge myself as much as i can. i do and i think everyone should! thats what makes art so fun

if theres any good advice i can give to a beginner itd probaaaaably be. okay this is difficult and i feel like im not really qualified for this. as a hobbyist much less so because a lot of the knowledge and skills i acquired was through an intuitive process (i could never stick with habits such as regular studies or warmups or whatever is meant to be good for you) which definitely isnt the most “productive” way but i mean it doesnt have to be. its just a hobby! you dont have to perfect art. but yes, i would definitely say dont stop drawing. youll always be your harshest critic and at the beginning, and especially if you begin at an older age because youve been training your eye your whole life but your drawing skills for only a relatively short time you will notice a lot of mistakes. and youll think you wont achieve the image you have in your head. and maybe you wont (because youll always strive for more and youll never really be satisfied as an artist bla bla) for a while. but you have to keep drawing! try out different strategies, find out how other artists draw, watch speedpaints, try out different papers and pencils, try everything that makes it more fun and keep going! it will all pay off!!

in my eyes theres also no point in saying “i should wait till im better to draw this idea i have” because if inspiration strikes you you should use that. even though i still sometimes catch myself thinking like that. you can always redraw things later on!! if theres anything that will keep you drawing you should use that! like getting into shows and games that make me want to draw helps a ton LOL people are not joking when they say getting obsessed with one character is the quickest way to improve. i 100% agree!!! if you saw my first nachos you wouldnt even recognize him. not kidding wow this got long. thank you for the questions though!! i hope some of my rambling can help you. feel free to talk to me whenever!

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darkleysgarden · 2 years

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Together At Last

Written September 21st (Posted November 12th)

Warnings: Alcohol, suggestive themes

Ship: Solodeus

Type: Fluff

Words: 2567

Summary: After so many years of dating, Solomon takes Asmo on the most romantic date he's ever been on.

Asmo becomes curious as to why the sudden date has sprung up. But, when the ring of his dreams is slipped onto his finger, all his questions are answered.

Asmo excitedly applied his blush. Today Solomon had invited him on a date! They didn't go on dates often, as Solomon was an extremely busy person, and Asmo wasn't any better. Therefore, it was going to be a great night that proved the worth of his average everyday life.

Not only that, but Solomon spoiled a bit of his plan. They were going to the Human Realm for their date! How romantic was that? After all, humans were the most romantic creatures of them all.

He finished his makeup, applying setting spray. If he was going to be gone the entire day, he would need it. There was no need to worry really, as he had plenty of makeup on him at all times, in case there was need for a touch up.

His outfit was already completed, the only thing left now was to pack a small purse. All of the essentials, and more were packed gracefully in his bag.

Today, he chose a fancy leather handbag. It was pink with a light gray which was almost blue complementing the color. It had a gold chain that made it easy to carry. The bag cost... more grimm than he was proud of. It was almost Mammon worthy. Though, it was worth it.

He packed makeup, his D.D.D., and anything else he may need.

He slung the bag over his shoulder and admired himself in the mirror.

Due to the fact that he had no idea where in the Human Realm he was going, he settled for an outfit that could work in most settings. Sure, as a demon he could handle most weather, but he was way more used to freezing cold. So, even a low in most places in the Human Realm would be higher than the Devildom's average.

Therefore, he wore a turtle neck tank top. Lines ran from the top to the bottom, marking the black fabric with a delicate texture. He wore white mom jeans that really complemented his hips. A thick light pink belt held the jeans perfectly in place. The belt was matched with a giant heart-shaped necklace in the same color. The bad matching the pink as well.

He slung the bag over his shoulder, sliding black heart glasses with pink lenses onto his head, curly hair falling around them.

The look was perfect. He was completely ready!

Asmodeus made his way down the stairs, settling down on the couch as he waited to be picked up by the handsome sorcerer.

He couldn't hide his smile as he kicked his feet anxiously.

Beelzebub emerged from the kitchen, looking at him curiously, "What are you so excited for?"

Asmo beamed, "I'm going out with my dear Solomon! I've missed him so much!"

Beel smiled at him, "Oh! Where's he taking you? He better treat you to a nice meal."

Giggles erupted from Asmo, "He's bringing me out for a day in the Human World. And I wouldn't worry too much Beel, I'm sure that lunch and dinner are included. Maybe even dessert?"

The ginger practically drooled, "Mmmm human's have great desserts. I can almost taste the chocolate lava cake right now."

He smirked at the younger's cluelessness as to what he was really implying, "Yes, they really do."

Asmo pulled out his D.D.D., checking the time, "I'm really glad that you found him, Asmo. You seem so much happier with him than I have ever seen you with anybody else."

Asmodeus perked up, "Maybe it's because I am happier. I'm really happy with him, Beel. I know I've said this countless times before, but I'm serious, I think he might be the one. Though, I should go outside now. Don't want to leave him waiting, after all."

Beelzebub gave a small wave, "Have fun on your date!"

He stepped outside to see his boyfriend standing on the front steps. Solomon looked as handsome as always, fancier clothing and brushed back hair only emphasizing the beauty.

As soon as Solomon noticed him, a bright smile erupted onto his face, "It's good to see you again, Asmo!"

Solomon swept him off of his feet, pulling him into a kiss. Asmodeus wrapped his arms around Solomon's neck, holding him in place, "I've missed you so much!"

Asmo was placed back down, but that didn't stop him from keeping a grip on the man. He laid his head onto his chest, smiling at the warmth.

Solomon grabbed his hands, pulling them down, "Are you ready to teleport?"

He eagerly nodded.

As the Realms slowly accepted eachother more, passing between Realms became a more common thing. Not everyone was granted permission to freely move between Realms. But, Solomon was lucky enough to be somebody who could. This worked out well for Asmo, as it gave him the opportunity to see his boyfriend more often.

The telephoned easily, landing somewhere Asmo vaguely recognized.

Over the years, places changed a TON. And where people commonly traveled to also changed. In the recent years, he noticed places such as London, Tokyo, France, and New York becoming popular. Though, this place was from further back in his memory.

A sudden flood of realization washed over him, "Solomon, is this-"

"Jerusalem," Solomon finished for him, "Yes, it is indeed."

He scanned his surroundings, watching as people walked through the populated city, "Oh, it looks beautiful nowadays! I must say, I have not seen it in years!"

Solomon laughed softly, "Neither have I. I had to scope the area to make sure everything was ready for our little outing. It almost feels weird to see Jerusalem in such a different light."

Asmo glanced at the nearby building's, "Indeed. And this was your home at one point, it has to be weird."

Solomon laced his fingers with the demon's, smiling that lovesick smile Asmo loved to see on him, "Well, Asmodeus. Are you ready? I wouldn't want all my planning to go to waste."

He squealed in excitement, "Where to first?"

"I've found a small cozy joint that sells seafood," The sorcerer explained, "I'm sure that would be good for lunch. I know how much you love crab."

"Mhm!" Asmo hummed, "Human's do have the best meat, after all."

The white-haired man chuckled, "That was a terrible joke!"

"Well you laughed," The demon observed, "So, my joke wasn't that awful!"

"Maybe so," Solomon started to walk, pulling the strawberry blonde with him, "We should get there before lunch rush hits."

The walk to the restaurant was remarkably short. Solomon did plan carefully

They arrived at a simple non-kosher restaurant at the corner of a block. It wasn't too busy, but Asmo could tell it was decently full. Most of the tables were filled with tourists who were blogging about their latest trip. Though, he couldn't blame them as he did the same sort of thing all the time.

A worker informed them that they could choose their own seats. So, they went to a small couples table in the back corner. They sat, grabbing menus from a small stand that was up against the wall.

Asmo looked out the window that they sat next to, watching the tourists and locals walk and talk peacefully. He smiled and turned his sight back to the menu in front of him.

The menu was written in Hebrew, of course. But, there were also smaller English translations. Luckily, Asmo, as well as the majority of immortal beings, was well-versed in a large amount of languages. Demons especially were, considering that they get summoned frequently, it's important that they can actually communicate with whoever was confident enough to summon them.

Even if Asmodeus was a higher demon, he couldn't say that he wasn't summoned as often as the lower demons. The reason for that was sitting right in front of him.

He read over the menu quickly, noting what he wanted to order. Then, he repeated it over and over in his head, in hope of actually getting it right. To be fair, he didn't need to worry all that much about being embarrassed and then going viral here. While humans knew him by name, they did not know him off looks. The same could go for Solomon (In fact, they are under the impression that he is dead by now). Unless witches and sorcerer's heavily occupied this restaurant, they just seemed like everybody else.

Eventually, a waiter took their order. He seemed to lighten up a bit when Solomon spoke to him in flawless Hebrew. Something Asmo could not offer, speaking butchered words like the other tourists.

Shortly after, they received their food. As they ate, they carried calm conversation, smiling softly as they did. They spoke in the Demonic language, careful to hide their conversation topics. It would cause alarm if someone near them heard them speak of the average life of a demon, after all. They could not risk any human language, as they had no idea who came from where. There was always that risk that someone would ask what language they were speaking. They had carefully learned to tell them that it was a made up language that they used only with eachother.

Solomon asked him how school was going and how his brothers had been doing. Asmo asking about his latest summon attempts, and missions.

They finished their meals, tidying up the table and paying before they left.

Solomon lead him around the beautiful city. He wondered where the human was going to bring him next. Even just going out to lunch was a delicacy.

He brought him to a less populated area, small houses lined the blocks, "Where are we going?"

Asmo was starting to get confused, especially when Solomon stopped in one of the neighborhoods.

The white-haired man chuckled, "I would not expect you to remember. Especially because you don't know the area like I do."

"Am I forgetting something?" He queried, glancing around, trying to understand where he was.

"Do you see those two houses?" Solomon asked, grabbing one of Asmo's hands, pointing with his other, "Right about there was where we first met."

Asmodeus put a hand over his mouth to hide his shock, "The bar!?"

He removed his hand, brightening greatly when Solomon nodded, "Oh. My. Gosh. I can't believe you remembered that!"

He jumped onto the taller man, wrapping his arms around his neck, "I love you so much!"

"I love you too," He laughed, pecking his cheek softly.

Asmo took a second to bask in his warmth before pulling his head back curiously, "Why did you bring me here? Why is this date so much more special than the rest?"

Solomon put him down, taking a step backwards, "Because, I have something I'd like to ask you. Something important."

The strawberry blonde brought his hand to cover the gigantic smile and blush that spread over his face. It couldn't be? Could it? There was nothing to say as his anxiousness grew. Solomon paused for way too long, obviously just to torture Asmo with the anticipation.

He started to shake as Solomon moved to kneel, tears spiking at the corner of his eyes. His mind went blank with pure happiness. He didn't move to talk, but he could tell that no words would come out if he tried.

Solomon pulled out the most beautiful tiny box Asmo had ever had the pleasure of seeing. He gasped, dreams becoming reality.

"There's nothing to say and too much to say at the same time," Solomon started, "You caught my eye the day i first met you. And since that day my interest has only grown. I am completely and utterly in love with you. People may consider me to be great with words, but they've been failing me since I first laid eyes on you. You're one for sappy gestures, I know. But, I just want to say what we've both been waiting for for years. Asmodeus, will you marry me?"

Asmo was sobbing by the end, "yes... Yes!"

Solomon slipped the ring carefully onto his finger, cupping his face, wiping away the tears, "I love you."

"I love you more," Asmo smashed their faces together in one of the sloppiest kisses they've ever shared. But, it didn't matter. Not right now.

They stood there as the sun shone gracefully over them. They stayed close together in their hug. Huge smiles were worn by the pair. Nothing could be better than this.

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

Post-proposal high had set in. Asmo was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life.

After the proposal, Solomon had teleported them to Las Vegas. How Solomon managed to teleport twice in one day on top of everything? He didn't know. His fiancé was very impressive.

They went to a casino, pulling Mammon-level loses. Then going to a romantic dinner in an extremely fancy (and expensive), restaurant. Solomon rented them a motel room that was used and then promptly ignored. And finally, they went to a bar.

Asmo was drunk off of his ass. He took shot after shot, drink after drink. Even for a demon drinking human alcohol, it was getting to a point.

With slurred speech he spoke to his fiancé, "Y'know what? We should ditch my brother's and run away together! Just you and me! Fore~ver~."

Solomon who was by far less drunk, laughed, "I'm sure you don't really want to abandon them. But, I'll have to admit. I love the idea of living with you. Waking up everyday to see your cute face beside me, making you breakfast, sleeping and not getting any sleep, caring for you when you're sick. I want all of it."

Solomon hugged him, Asmo purring in response.

Once again, the sorcerer laughed, "For now though, I think it's time you went home and got to bed."

Asmo weakly shook his head, tired and drunk, "Nuh-uh I wanna stay with you."

"Well, sadly, Lucifer would kill me and you if you stayed out any longer. We wouldn't want that. We haven't even started planning our wedding yet, nor our honeymoon."

Asmo moaned softly, tilting his head to the side as Solomon kissed him again, "Fine. Only cause you said it nicely."

Solomon supported his as he brought him to the alleyway behind the bar, "You ready?"

"Yup," Asmo leaned against him heavily.

And for the third time that day, they blinked to another place.

Solomon kissed him a few more times, Asmo was eager to let the kisses go on for as long as possible. But, Solomon still left way too soon.

He smiled happily, recalling the day's events. He felt warm and fuzzy as he slung open the door's of the House of Lamentation.

"Asmodeus, where have you been? You should've been home an hou-" He was cut off as Asmo threw himself into the older's arms, "I'm engaged! I'm engaged, Lucifer!!!"

"What?" Asmo shoved his hand into Lucifer's face, "See!"

He was so happy to finally get to show off the ring, "Bye now! I still do need my beauty rest! And this hangover is going to SUCK tomorrow!" He giggled to himself, hiccuping.

Asmo then pulled himself up the stairs as fast as he possibly could (Which wasn't very fast), leaving a completely stunned Lucifer behind.

Once he made it, he collapsed onto his bed. Memories of the day whisked him gently off into a peaceful sleep.

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miss-yrrosa · 6 months

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Let's do some talking about my plans for 2024, and how things are going.

So, first of all, I want 2024 to be a more or less steady year in art development for me and uploading some things each week or so. I have been wanting to start an ongoing Rise AU comic for a while. And that is because first of all I like the idea of this AU a lot, but most importantly it's because human expressions and simple cartoon poses and expressions need a lot of work. What better way of improving this than just practice?

I have been drawing mostly animals (ahem, dogs and horses) in my life and have been doing so on a highly professional level for some years, before completely losing any and all motivation for it for a variety of reasons. So please keep in mind, the art you see here is absolutely nowhere near the level I am capable of, it is for fun and that is what creating art should always be.

Furthermore, I want to keep making random things that pop up in my head, as well as trying some of the DTIYS challenges that are available on here. I LOVE that concept and love seeing everyone's take on a piece. And of course I still will focus on fan-appreciation art for other creators in both art and fan fiction, because I like that a lot as well. But I must say, Tumblr is kinda weird for me. Because a lot of things I draw will get pretty much no to actually no interaction and I seriously don't know what to do about it. When I use tags and/or tag creators and still get no interactions at all it often feels like I draw just for the void. It's weird and I hope it will be better next year.

Then something about my art, which for now is all traditional. It has always been that way, and I feel familiar with the materials I use. I do however want to eventually switch to digital art as a (partial) replacement for it. It just has many advantages when it comes to color use and general environment and I feel it would make things such as poses and expressions much easier to work and practice with. And colors and brush textures would be fun to play with. I now have an old iPad that I use to take photos of my works with, but the thing is like 9 years old so unfortunately I can't really run the programs for digital art that I want on it. And since I am not a fan of throwing away things that still work fine otherwise, digital art will have to wait until the IPad's final breath haha.

Okay, I think that's enough on my New Years Resolutions, it's time to go back to art xD

#rottmnt #tmnt #tmnt fanart #rottmnt fanart #tumblr life #m.y. art

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studio-interview-repository · 7 months

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Interview -- Matt D.

NG: In your work, you seem to enjoy embodying established artistic styles, especially when making art about your family! Do you prefer letting the atmosphere you’re building inform which styles you look for, or do you have a set of references you consistently pull from? MD: Most often, the former is true. The content typically comes first, and I’ll look for styles or materials to suit it. If I settle on a highly specific reference, I do a lot of research. It’s not generally difficult in today’s environment, and I can find what I need within a few degrees of separation from Google Image Search, but I try to be very detailed in terms of fidelity to the original material and/or inclusion of many specific references (“Easter eggs” in some cases). Now that the family portraits have become an annual tradition, I’m stockpiling classic Christmas motifs. The only atmospheric requirement is fun. I started with a less precise or contemporary concept in the form of stained glass, and I have considered digging into medieval, Renaissance or 19th century realist art. There’s a lot of potential for absurdist humor, taking the piss out of overly dramatic, self-serious religious art. NG: As someone who can’t figure out working digitally to save my life, I really admire your illustrative ability to make digital artwork that, at first glance, could be thought of as another medium! Do you have any go-to methods for reducing the “digital look” in your art? MD: For many years, I’ve paid a lot of attention to textures, patterns, pixellation… anything that calls our immediate attention to the computer rather than the artist’s hand. I could be really effective with photo manipulation. It rarely resulted in drawings and paintings that were truly convincing, but at least those retained some character. Some older apps like Corel Painter got high marks for realism, but I had very little experience with them. More recently, tablet and stylus-based software has become so powerful, and there are many artists creating excellent brushes and textures. It’s much, much easier to create work that is traditional in appearance, though one should still pay attention to brush selection, be careful with image reference/manipulation, and be clever when relying on auto-generated elements. Masking effects are also really handy for adding imperfections. NG: You also showed some of your traditional media work, and said you enjoyed making it even though it takes more time for you than producing digital art. When working with traditional media, do you like to think of it in layers as you would a digital piece, or do you prefer to let different mediums inform how you use them? MD: I’m often more hesitant with traditional media, which is natural. There’s nothing like an Undo command and the ability to retain multiple variations. With less familiar traditional materials or styles, I take the same approach described above, gathering a lot of image reference before I start, and I try to lean on others’ experience. But as you know, thinking in layers is very handy when you’re working in silkscreen.

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kirishwima · 3 years

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why do my sensory issues just. rise up when im tired or hungry

#we went out to the mall w friends and it was rly fun!#i even got a Deku figurine OwO #but at some point i was rly tired and just. couldnt feel or touch any texture without cringing and fidgeting #even my own clothes felt uncomfortable #a friend brushed by my bare arm and the contact made me want to pull my hair out #and idk why i rly needed a fidget toy? or smth to move around whose texture i dont mind #i didnt have anything so i stood there suddenly stresed and upset #it happens so often to different extremes each time #it wasnt too too bad this time since i could handle it #once it was so bad #someone on tumblr had recommended taking a cold shower and sleeping n it helped a lot #but this need to fidget or have smth on me that i could focus on instead was new #i'll start taking my fidget cube w me more often #it helped a LOT when studying so i think i should keep using it #w what ive now learnt in medicine i rly think i have. some kind of undiagnosed issues #my best guess w all ive dealt with is adhd #and its one of the suggestions my childhood therapist had offered #before my mom pulled me out the program idk #anyway ignore this #or if u have any suggestions that might help lmk!#anything that could help id appreciate #my friends make so much fun of me for having texture issues and. fam i wish i didnt 🥲#its w foods touch sounds too tho not to the same extent as the other senses #idk if i felt overwhelmed or what i think mostly it was fatigue #burrito talks #not fandom related #delete later #sensory issues stuff

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firstbeachgoblin · 3 years

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Can you do an imagine where Leah Clearwater’s female imprint is a mental health counselor and doesn’t stop to care for herself due to the need to help her clients? What would Leah do to help? How would Leah handle this?

Hello dearest anon, I hope you enjoy this cute little fic (by little I mean 1103 words) Leah is amazing and I would give my left leg for her.

It's in her pov too so enjoy that if you dig it!

Enjoy this leah fluff!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Leah’s POV.

Light spilled from the opening around the office door, illuminating the dark hallway. The sun had set hours ago giving way to the night sky and gentle hum of crickets. I had just returned from patrol and the clock on the stove read 11:45 as I walked past.

The gentle tapping of a keyboard filled the silent house, aided with the odd shuffling of paper. I rested my hands on the smooth surface of the wooden door that closed (y/n) off from the rest of the house pushing it open to reveal my beautiful and tired girlfriend.

“Hi love.” (y/n) rubbed her eyes before looking up at me, dark circles adorned her under eyes and her eyelids were droopy with sleep.

“Oh hi Leah, when did you get home?” Exhaustion laced her voice as she questioned me.

“About five minutes ago.”

“I didn’t hear you come in.” Her eyes were apologetic but I didn’t mind, I never minded. She worked hard for her career as a mental health counsellor.

I made my way through her office to the desk coming up beside her to wrap my arms around her shoulders, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. She swiveled in the chair and wrapped her arms around my middle pressing her face into my stomach audibly breathing in my scent.

“You smell like outside.” She mumbled into my shirt.

“I just got back from patrol. I didn’t expect you to still be up.” my hand made its way over her hair feeling the texture beneath my finger tips brought instant comfort, the scent of her shampoo filled my nose easing the tense muscle that lined my body.

“I wanted to finish up a strategy sheet for a patient before monday, it’s taking longer than I expected.” A chuckle racked through my ribs. She always did this despite seeing no one on mondays.

“But you don’t see anyone on Monday, you could finish it then. You should take the weekends off.” She pressed her forehead further into my stomach. A groan escaping her lips.

“I have something planned for us this weekend so you’re going to take it off whether you like it or not.” Her eyes looked up at me, defeat clear within them; she knew I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

She was tired and pushing herself towards a burnout which wouldn’t benefit anybody, so it was my duty to help her just as it's my duty to protect her as her imprint.

We left the small office, shutting off the lights and making our way down the dark hallway. It was past midnight and the only sound that filled the air was the shuffling of her feet and the chirp of crickets outside.

Our nighttime routine was spent in peaceful silence as we changed and brushed our teeth. Cool sheets brushed along our skin and the faint glow of the moon filtered in between the slots of the curtains casting a blue tint across our shared room. Falling asleep in a tangle of limbs and soft touches.

------------------------------------------------

The bird songs filled the air rousing me from my sleep, (y/n) laid peacefully on her side, back facing me with her hair a mess from sleep. I glanced at the bedside clock which read 7:38 am, perfect time to start making her breakfast and a good way to start her day of relaxation.

My feet pressed into the cool hardwood floor sending a tingle through my legs and into my body. I tucked (y/n) back in to not disturb her and keep her warm in my lack of presence. Joints snapped and cracked with the reach and stretch of my body while I moved towards the door exiting into the hallway.

Our kitchen was a decent size, big enough for two people to mill about while they get ready for the day; it was perfect for us. It was cozy and comforting.

I turned on the stove, opening the fridge to gather indigients needed to make eggs and bacon for breakfast.

The soft shuffling of feet brought my attention away from the pan of sizzling eggs to the beautiful woman who stood wrapped in my cardigan, the look of sleep still plastered across her features with hair that poked in every direction.

“Good morning.” (y/n) croaked out, using her voice for the first time in hours.

A smile graced my face, returning her greeting. Turning my attention back to the pan I listened as she slid a chair out from the table dragging it over to the stove to sit next to me.

“You know you didn’t have to do this for me?” she voiced, her prying eyes watching me cook.

“I do it because I love you and want to take care of you, besides you need a break.” I countered her. Clicking off the stove and reaching down two plates for us.

She moved her chair back to the table while I dished up our food and made my way over, placing her plate and cutlery in front of her while I sat across.

A hum of content left her lip with the first bite of food and all the stress etched into her face slipped away with it.

“After we eat, we’re going to spend the rest of the day at the beach. I’ll pack a lunch for us as well so don’t worry. You can relax.” She smiled at me shaking her head with a small laugh.

“I’m starting to think I might have to listen to you more often when it comes to taking breaks.” We laughed together and I reached out grabbing her hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“I’d like that, I love taking care of you.” Blushed flushed across her face.

We finished eating and I gathered our plates, washing them off in the sink and placing them in the dishwasher.

(Y/n) turned and went back into our room to get ready for the day ahead of us while I began making our lunch. Making sure to pack her favourite foods, snacks and drinks for the most enjoyable day possible.

I placed the last drink in the bag then headed to our room.

“Leah, I picked out your swimsuit!” She gushed excitedly.

I walked over to her wrapping her up in my arms mumbling I love you into her hair. She returned the hug by wrapping her arms around my midriff telling me she loves me as well.

I couldn’t be more in love with her. We finished getting ready and made our way out of the house and into the car for our fun filled day.

#leah clearwater x reader #leah clearwater #leah clearwater imagine #twilight wolves #twilight wolf pack #twilight wolf pack imagine #sam uley #jared cameron #paul lahote #jacob black #quil ateara #embry call #seth clearwater

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qslovebot · 3 years

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Nobody: Spencer Reid

Summary: After an accident on a case, the reader is left with trauma and anxiety. A miscommunication between her and the person she needs most (Spencer Reid) begins to eat her alive and he just so happens to be the only one there when she breaks again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings/Includes: mentions of kissing, mentions of traumatizing events (not specified), depictions of anxiety, fluff, miscommunication, angst to fluff

A/N: The song is Nobody by Mitski. Read with this for the ultimate experience.

Sometimes things felt too literal. Words start to sound weird and feel weird when you say them, clothes feel too much like clothes against your skin, the texture of any food in your mouth becomes too prevalent while eating.

These things started happening after you witnessed and endured something awful on a case. You wouldn't dare bring up the full memory in case it took over and killed you all over again. It wasn't PTSD, but it was the cause of your anxiety attacks most of the time when they occurred.

After that case, you spent a week in the hospital where they happened nearly every day and the doctors weren't much help, to be frank. The only people who really ever helped were your friends and the person you were so close to dating, Spencer Reid.

It was a long story. To dumb it down, the case event happened and you and Spencer thought you were about to die so he confessed his feelings for you and of course they were reciprocated. He asked, then and there through stuttering words, 'If we make it out of here please go out with me?" As his last bit of hope, and he kissed you before you were taken away by the unsub. He didn't endure nearly as much as you did which was why he wasn't as affected. But you had said 'yes' to that question and three weeks later, you still hadn't talked about it.

When the anxiety attacks happened, you often felt like you couldn't breathe, like the walls were pressing in on you. Sometimes you'd be with JJ when it happened. She would immediately ask you what you needed and often that would just be a hug.

Emily witnessed one at your house when she came over to check on you. She rushed over, caring voice and soft hands and told you to put your head between your knees, stroking your hair until you felt better.

Penelope made the 30-minute drive from her house every Friday night she wasn't working on a case to bring you dinner she had made and chat with you about anything you wanted.

Your friends cared for you, it was so prevalent. It was almost always that fact that was getting you through this as you continued to get better. You would return to work in two weeks because now the anxiety attacks were only once in a while and better controlled by you and Spencer still hadn't spoken to you since.

It was now nearly two weeks later. You would go back to work on Monday.

"He did come to visit you in the hospital before you woke up," Penelope said, stirring her cup of ramen. It was just another Friday and she sat across from you in your chair, cross-legged. "I don't know what's up with him if he isn't speaking to you, he seems fine at work."

You sighed, swallowing your bite. "I'm just scared that he regrets what he said and did before I was dragged away. It was those words and that kiss that got me through what the unsub did and I keep thinking about it and him..."

"It was romantic," she noted, waving her chopstick in the air. "I think you should call him, rather than just text him. It'll catch him off-guard and in-the-moment."

"Now?"

"Yes, so I can listen!"

You smiled a little, pulling out your phone as your heart began to race. What if he did pick up? What if it was awkward? What if he somehow didn't remember?

You pressed on his name, then pressed call. It began to hum quietly with pending rings. One ring, two, then five, then seven, then there was a small beep.

'You've reached Dr. Spencer Reid, uh, leave a message,' his voice said through the machine, still as sweet and youthfully scratchy. You bit your lip and nodded.

"I should have known that he didn't want to talk. Penelope, I can't stop thinking about him and he keeps ignoring my calls and I'm... frankly I'm afraid that nothing will ever happen and he'll ignore me forever."

Penelope cringed, "(Y/N), uh... there's... it's gone to voicemail and you're recording."

"Shit!" You panicked, looking at your phone. "How do I stop it?!"

"The red button!"

"That's the end call button I-" you pressed it by accident. Oh my god, the message went through. You just sat there with Penelope, both of you frozen in shock. That did not just happen... did it really just happen? Your one moment of self-pity and worry was one moment that Spencer would hear if he touched his phone on a Friday night.

The rest of the night was spent with you fighting off panic, pacing your room. Penelope agreed to stay overnight, but you could not handle the fact Spencer would hear what you said. It was humiliating to think about him hearing you stress over something like that.

This is what nagged at you all weekend, threatening the impending anxiety that was building up. Every second was agony, spent pacing and overthinking. Sleep was hard to get, so you took melatonin and your dreams taunted you with it all over again.

Monday morning you rushed to get dressed. You needed to see Spencer, no matter how hard it was to face him. You pulled on dress pants and a navy blue cotton v-neck shirt with bell sleeves. Laundry was forgotten through two days of panic, so this was pretty much the only shirt you had.

You brushed through your hair and applied your regular makeup and there, you were presentable and didn't look like you'd lost your mind over the weekend. You were going back, finally. It was somewhat refreshing if you dismissed the Spencer ordeal.

The drive there was fine. Music helped to calm you down and you listened as long as you could. Stepping into the BAU was different, it felt like you were being crushed the moment you stepped in.

"There's my girl!" Derek Morgan was the first to notice you walk in and he greeted you with open arms and a crushing hug. You smiled, letting him. It had been a while since you last saw him. He let you go after a few seconds, but his hands stayed on your shoulders. "We missed you here, things weren't as fun without you."

"I bet," you grinned, heading to your desk. You could hide your freakout well. "I missed the smell of coffee and paper in the morning."

"(Y/N), glad to have you back," Hotch said, walking down the steps. He did seem honestly glad to see you as there was a small twitch of his mouth when he approached you and Derek. "You're sure you're alright to work again? I assume today is a file day, but we'll be back out there soon."

You nodded, smiling back. "Getting there, but it's controllable now," He narrowed his eyebrows. "I'll be fine for the field and if I'm not, I can always stay at the precinct to work things out there."

Hotch looked to Derek, then back at you. "Sounds good. Again, glad to have you back, agent." Hotch shook your hand and passed you, heading into JJ's office.

"Morgan..." You started, fiddling with your fingers. "Have you seen Spencer?"

"Yeah, he just went to the washroom, why?"

"I need to talk to him..."

The day went on and of course, you saw Spencer, but he paid you no mind. Not even a 'welcome back' or anything. You were just there and it was like you never left, except Spencer didn't even look at you. He was busy with his work and you constantly found yourself watching him. Maybe he'd heard your voice mail, maybe not, but either way, he didn't seem to care anymore.

That month and a half you spent recovering- was it possible that he used that time away from you to get over you? The idea was haunting and tugged at your heart. To be the only one all-in was such an incredibly painful idea. What he said before you were dragged away into the depths of hell meant something to you and it kept you alive... and to think he probably didn't mean it...

You needed to stop thinking about it before it made you burst into a million pieces. To be surrounded by everyone who you loved and loved you back wasn't enough if you couldn't have Spencer, too. Selfish, it sounded so selfish, but it shook you to the core that he wasn't amongst them.

The day continued and more pain was endured. More overthinking, more fear, more insecurity. The day was nearing its end.

Everybody seemed like nobody when Spencer was out of the picture. You had spent so much time thinking about him in the hospital and at home in recovery, who were you without wondering you could make it work? Nobody. Without the fantasy you could be his, you stranded on some sort of island. You were nobody if not Spencer's.

So you were nobody.

It was that thought that keeled you over the edge in the parking lot of the BAU. So much fear, so much pent-up emotion, it was too much to contain and just... spilled over onto everything as your hands began to shake, followed by that godawful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your knees gave out and you fell conveniently onto the curb next to your car.

There was nobody there, either. You were alone on the concrete curb, face in your shaking hand and the other shaking hand gripping the curb so hard your knuckles turned white. Too much, too little, everything was wrong and you couldn't face Spencer.

You looked up for a brief moment and there was a brief look at someone in a beige cardigan and khaki pants and your heart fell to the pit of your stomach- as if you were humiliated enough. Footsteps, closer.

"A-are you okay?" His voice was a little panicked, definitely not as bad as yours, though. Overall, you were just glad he was within six feet of you.

Of course, you were pretty much unable to reply. Your face stayed in your hands and you felt light fingers on your shoulder, his, and they were somewhat grounding. God, he was here and you couldn't even talk to him, you couldn't even raise your head.

"What do you need, I- what happened?" He cared. But to what extent? His hands felt frantic- they shook a little (again, not nearly as bad as yours) and they moved from your shoulder, to upper arm, to near your neck, to the side of your head. "If this is my fault, I-"

He stopped himself. How could he possibly know that it was the thought of him that sent this into motion? The voicemail didn't entail much other than he was on your mind. You hardly even noticed that you were crying from the anxiety attack until you felt how wet your hands were. Your words kept piling on your tongue and the panic rose again in an entirely new wave.

"Do you- do you need help? I can get Hotch or... Derek, Derek knows, I know, but I don't- I don't think you like me very much and I won't be of help-I-I-I-" His voice continued to ramble and you were flooded with new thoughts. How could he possibly think that you didn't like him? In those moments before you were taken, you had said yes to going out with him if you both made it out. You kissed him back then before the arms grabbed you and dragged you off. Where did the idea of you not liking him come from? It was you who was afraid he didn't like you back.

You wanted to speak, you wanted to say something but you were stuck in your own mind, desperately trying to fight this off, trying hard to calm your breathing. The most you could do was take your hand off of the curb and frantically grab his. You took his hand and you held it tight, trying to slow the sharp intakes of breath. That's when Spencer squeezed your hand and you began to feel better.

And when you did start to feel better and your breathing was still harsh, but better and you could finally move a little more, you did what you had wanted to do every day in the hospital. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around Spencer, your arms resting around his shoulders. You needed it and apparently so did he, because he squeezed you back the same. Either it was that or he knew pressure helped. All you could do was hope it wasn't the latter.

Spencer of course buried his face in the crook of your neck like he had before and you knew now that this feeling was coming to an end. The tide was washing out and there was calm after the storm. No words, just your breathing becoming more natural and the wind over your ears. This was all that you needed.

He stayed like this with you for a good five more minutes before you could finally release him, pulling apart and your hand coming up to wipe under your eyes. He didn't speak then, either- he just watched, his face furrowed in concern.

So you spoke, "Spencer wh-" your voice cut out from still being in that state of anxiety. You coughed into your arm, tried again. "Why would you think I don't like you?"

"I-I- don't think that's the question, I- are you okay?" His hands went back to your shoulders bracingly.

You smiled a small smile, "I'm better, it's passed, but Spencer...' You slid into a whisper with the crying coming back. Had it really passed?

"Yes?" His reply was wary. As if afraid to break you, he tiptoed.

"Answer me, please."

He bit his lower lip into his mouth, sighing. "I don't know if I should, you're- you're upset."

You looked at him, dead-on, determined. "Please."

"You didn't call. Not once and I-I-I was worried and then I started to think about it and everything t-that happened before you were taken and that you probably only said and did that because you were about to-to-uh, die." He rambled, words spilling out. "So I thought maybe you didn't really like me and-"

"I was waiting for you to call, too," you actually let out a laugh. He smiled in realization. "Because I was afraid of the exact same thing. I was afraid you didn't mean it and I worked myself up- I called Friday night, though-"

"I didn't- I didn't know that-" he fumbled to bring his phone out of his pocket and he must have seen that he had a voicemail from you and nodded, a little smile appearing on his worried face. "So you did mean to say yes?"

"And you did mean to ask?" You inquired, head tilted.

"Y-yes, of course."

"Then yes," you replied, smile widening to a grin. "How is Saturday night? I think I'll be better by then."

He was positively beaming as he helped you back to your feet. "Saturday is... great. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Much better.... truthfully." You nodded excessively and Spencer began walking back to his car, but then came back quickly to kiss your cheek.

He was like a child excited to go run and tell friends, "Goodnight!"

"Night, Spence." You stood there, basking in the glory that was solved miscommunication. You weren't nobody, you were in fact, somebody. And you were soon to be Spencer's.

Tags: @ellyhotchner, @softhairedhotch, @laurakirsten0502

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yandere-sins · 3 years

Note

Could you please write the prompts Stripped socks and Photos with Asmo from Obey Me? I think it fits him really well!

I think so as well :D Thank you for requesting ♥

Striped socks - “I can’t resist not having some part of you near me! You wore this today right?”

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Whistling playfully, Asmo strolled down the long corridor towards his destination, passing by his brothers’ rooms with his ears taking in the different sounds coming from them. There was Levi’s room, video game sounds ringing from it. Satan’s room was as quiet as a cat. The jingling of coins from Mammon’s and laughter coming from Beel and Belphie’s room. Asmodeus stopped, holding his breath for a moment and leaning towards the wooden door of the twins tensely.

Between his brothers talking about food and the game you three were playing, your voice was the one Asmo recognized quickly. Even if you sat quietly most of the time, it was almost as if he could hear your heartbeat as clear as day. Feel your joy as if it was his own. When you did speak up, he felt his own heart swell from the beauty of your chuckles, every word you uttered so meaningful despite being small-talk at best. That’s how connected you two were, two hearts yearning for each other. A picturesque romance!

Fingertips brushing over the door, a longing sigh fell off his lips, wishing he could be inside with you, cuddle with you and kiss you, but it was Belphie’s night. He wouldn’t have given you up for anyone, especially not Asmodeus. It wasn’t Asmo’s virtue, but he felt the jealousy seething in his stomach, knowing that Belphie got to have fun with you while Asmodeus couldn’t. And as if that wasn’t enough, Beel was having his second night with you this week; he and Belphie having much more of you than any other brother since they worked together more often than separated.

Pretty unfair, how Asmodeus found. He’d have to go to bed alone tonight and not really in the mood to call a mere succubus over. Not when he could have had you in his bed instead. Not if it could have been you all along if not for the stupid rule they all agreed to in secret, that every brother could occupy your time for one night a week without the other’s interfering.

Sighing, Asmodeus moved on. It was too painful to stand and listen, always having to realize he wasn’t welcome at your side that night. The agreement was blatantly unfair. After all, even if he got a chance to keep you by his side for a night, it was so late into the week that you were already utterly exhausted after the four previous nights. Asmo did what he could to help you relax, but that ate up all the time he wanted to use to do other things with you. Innocent and less innocent things.

And then, he’d have another week of gloomily laying in bed - alone or not - wondering what you were up to. Sometimes he wondered how the others could keep themselves busy in their time off, but it wasn’t like Asmodeus had nothing to do. It all just wasn’t fun if it wasn’t with you.

Approaching his room, Asmodeus couldn’t help but sigh again, a sound unsuited for the self-assigned pretty boy. Hand laying down on the handle as his shoulders slumped in disappointment, Asmo wanted nothing more than to turn on his heel and take you back with him. It was nerve-wreaking. You probably didn’t even know about all these conflicting feelings he had inside of him. The Avatar of Lust wasn’t meant to love someone so dearly as he loved you. It should have only been him, himself, and he for the rest of his long, long life. But now, no matter how good he could put up a farce, it was all about you.

Your face, your hair, your body, your eyes, your laugh, your touch, your taste, your soul, your heartbeat, your magic, your...

All about you. You and him.

And how good you were together.

Turning around, Asmo slowly let go of the handle, looking back over his shoulder. Your room across his was empty that night, he knew as much. Even if he slept there, you wouldn’t scold him, and perhaps he had to admit he was desperate enough to do it. Or he could just slip in and grab something to take back with him. Something that would help him through this painful week of waiting for you to return to his side. Nobody needed to know he was even there.

You were supposed to lock your door, with so many entities around that were practically drooling at the thought of you. And Mammon. Especially Mammon. Lucifer told you often enough to just lock up. Still, you swore up and down that it was an inconvenience, and it bothered you to single yourself out from the brothers. It was your fault Asmo could easily slip in, but it was his luck that you were stubborn.

No worries, even that was cute about you!

Looking left and right, Asmodeus didn’t take the chance of anyone finding him linger around, quickly making his entrance. Even with the light off, your room was softly illuminated by the fairy lights he put up back when it became apparent that there would be a guest staying long term. He thought you’d appreciate the cute and tiny lights since it was awfully dark down in the Devildom.

With his back against the door, he took a deep breath. It was amazing how your presence tainted the room. It had been bare and boring before, but now the air tasted like you, and that was all he could want. Humming happily, Asmo let his fingers glide over the amenities in passing, feeling their texture under his touch. Knowing that you were using them almost made him greedy. He could surprise himself with how much he wanted to just take them all and keep them to himself in his own room. But that would be a little too obvious, wouldn’t it?

So what should he take instead?

Your bath was now filled with products you received from him. It would be easiest to take back one of them. Even if he was found out, he could just say he needed it for his morning routine. Or your soap, so he could smell like you from head to toe! But no, that wasn’t enough to satisfy Asmodeus.

He needed more.

Asmo wanted to cuddle with you, hold you, kiss you, tease you, see your reactions... how could he do that without you? What else was there to even get close to the joy of holding you? Letting himself fall onto your bed, all it needed was a deep breath to make a smile creep onto his face. It was paradise. Here you were everywhere. Your pillow, your blanket, the stuffed animals you accumulated as presence from the brothers - they all were the closest to you he could get. Or were they?

Jolting up, Asmodeus looked around. The darkness wasn’t pleasant, but he prided himself on knowing his way around your room. After all, his nightly adventures sitting by the side of your bed, pushing the hair out of your sweet face tenderly had to be good for more than just having a moment with you unbothered by anyone. See, Asmodeus would have messed up his sleep schedule if it was for you. That’s just how special you were.

It pained him to crawl out of your bed, but he did it nonetheless, ever on the search for the thing. Even Asmo didn’t know what token would be enough to satisfy him. If it was for him, he could have gobbled everything up that belonged to you or just rest between your things instead to get a piece of mind. But there was this desire he held, to have something just for himself. A part of you, so to say.

Gliding to his knees in front of your basket laundry, Asmo’s hands began to shake both in excitement and hesitation. There was this one aspect that differentiated you from Asmodeus so much. Everything about him had to be perfect all the time. Asmo couldn’t stand the thought of doing something and not looking pretty or at least cute while at it. You were normal in comparison. At times you’d get muddy or wear your outfits twice, never wondering what others would think. He just wanted to coddle you with how cute your innocence was, but it also aggravated him that anything could sully you.

And yet, your clothes were his best options, weren’t they? He lifted the lid and sighed in relief that you hadn’t done the laundry that day. The first thing he pulled out was a lucky reach already, as he felt the soft material of your shirt. It wouldn’t fit him as well as it did you, but surely, Asmo would look cute in your clothes, right?

Bringing it up to his nose, there it was again, your scent, the ultimate confirmation that you were real and alive. Asmo couldn’t restrain himself, rubbing the fabric against his cheek and brushing it with his lips, honoring it for doing a service to the both of you. This was it, the chosen object he’d keep all to himself. He’d put it on his pillow and lay it beside him so he’d never be alone again.

He was wholly immersed in the thought of you wearing this shirt, how cute it fit you and how you were handling it. The only thing that finally tore him out of it was when a cone of light fell over him, the door opening. “Be right back!” you shouted before you stepped in. Just when you were about to close the door, your eyes fell on him, kneeling on your floor in front of the laundry basket, holding your white shirt, and you halted, mouth opening in surprise.

“Asmo... deus?” you mumbled, and oh god, it had been so long since he heard his name from your lips. Since dinner at least.

“Ah,” he hummed, smile back on his face just because he was able to see your face once more that day. “Welcome back.”

Was it too abstruse to welcome you back to your own room that he was in without permission?? Asmo wondered as you two stared at each other, your lovely gaze slowly but surely falling to the shirt in his hands that he gripped a bit tighter as a reaction. “What are you doing... with this?”

Even confused you were so cute!

“You see,” he chuckled, supporting himself into a stand. “I can’t resist not having some part of you near me! You wore this today, right?”

Holding up the shirt, he walked over, fitting it onto your chest while you stared at him, unbelieving. “I think so...?” was all you could mumble as you looked up at him with more questions than answers. “Sweet, I’ll borrow this then!” he giggled, knowing fully well he’d never give it back. Maybe he’d need more someday, but you couldn’t have this shirt back ever. Leaning forward, he gave you a long kiss to the cheek, taking your silence as an okay to take what he wanted before passing you by.

Sure, if Asmo could, he’d rather have you, but this was the next best thing. He couldn’t break the promise with his brothers to take you with him for the night, but he could pretend it was you in his arm instead of the piece of fabric. You didn’t really seem mad, much more dumbfounded as he left you there in the doorway. However, Asmodeus didn’t fear you getting upset about what he took from you that night.

After all, if you did get upset, you’d have to come to him if you wanted it back, and he’d only exchange it for something of equal value, just like any demon would.

A real piece of you just for himself.

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years

Text

Spat by SisterSpooky1013

1428 words- read it here on AO3

“What? Where are you going?” He asked as she rolled away from him, retreating under the covers.

“Never mind, Mulder, I’m going to sleep,” she replied tersely, her bare back turned towards him.

“Scully, what just happened? I’m so confused,” he pleaded with her.

He ran quickly through the preceding two minutes; he was lying in her bed reading while she took a shower. She had emerged from the bathroom naked and crawled on top of him, which he very much welcomed. He’d set his book aside immediately and started kissing her when suddenly her demeanor changed, and now she was stonewalling him. What the fuck.

He rolled onto his side to nestle himself against her back, putting a hand tentatively on her hip over the covers. “Scully, I can clearly see that I did something to upset you, but I honestly have no idea what. I need you to help me out here.”

She heaved a deep sigh and rolled on to her back. Her bare breasts were illuminated in the the light of the small bedside lamp and he forced his gaze to her face. Hopefully if he played his cards right, he’d still get to pay them the attention he wanted to tonight.

“I hate it when you say things like that to me, Mulder,” she said to the ceiling. The expression on her face held irritation, but also hurt. Beyond pissing her off, he’d hurt her feelings, which was something he avoided like the plague. As they’d gotten to know each other in this new, intimate way, he’d learned that underneath her tough exterior she was actually very sensitive. The more she grew to trust him with her feelings, the more often she let him know when something he said or did rubbed her the wrong way. It was proving to be a steep learning curve.

“What did I say?” He asked softly, brushing his fingers over her forearm.

She shot him a look that said “you know exactly what you said,” but he really didn’t.

In a derisive tone, she spelled it out for him. “I came out of the bathroom, naked, and climbed into your lap, and you said, and I quote ‘someone’s eager tonight.’” She stopped talking and set her jaw. Was that it? That was it. He was still confused.

“Okay. And that’s bad?”

She scoffed and rolled away from him again.

He looked up, requesting help from God or the universe or maybe even the extra terrestrials. He was bad at this. He wasn’t sure if that was because it had been so long since he’d been in a relationship, or if he’d avoided relationships precisely because he wasn’t any good at them. Chicken or egg, he was screwed. He scooted closer to her and draped his arm over her waist, taking her hand in his.

“Sweetheart, I promise I’m not being obtuse when I tell you that I don’t understand why that’s a bad thing to say. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, but if you don’t explain why or how, I have zero confidence that I won’t do it again,” he was taking a risk using the pet name he’d tried out only a couple times. She seemed to like it, but she also didn’t like the fact that she liked it. It was a double-edged sword.

She sighed deeply again. When she spoke, her voice was small and unsure. “Do you recall me talking to you about my feelings around sex…around sexual desire?” She asked.

They had had a few conversations about what it was like for her growing up in the guilt-laden culture of Catholicism, and that since she’d started exploring sexually as a teen she’d always struggled with feeling guilty for her own desires. That although she did not ascribe to the belief that only whores wanted and enjoyed sex, she’d never been able to entirely rid herself of the shame she’d been indoctrinated with.

“Yes, of course I do. So…me saying that made you feel…something?” He tried to put the pieces together. This had something to do with her hang-ups around sex.

“When you say things like that, teasing or drawing attention to the fact that I’m initiating sex or that I want it, it makes me feel like you think I’m…” she trailed off.

“Like I think you’re what?” He prodded, squeezing her gently with his arm.

“I don’t know, Mulder. It’s stupid.”

There was no title to their relationship. At no point had they discussed what this was, or how to call it. But in moments like this, he was pretty sure he was her boyfriend. This was a boyfriend conversation. And the well of patience he was drawing from, trying to get her back within his orbit, it was a reserve he had not tapped into in many years. It was boyfriend patience, because boyfriends care enough about the feelings of their significant other to wade through complicated and often frustrating conversations for the sole purpose of continuing to enjoy all the happy moments that surrounded them. She was unequivocally worth it.

He tucked his face into the crook of her neck and kissed her sweetly on the shoulder. “It’s not stupid. Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

She rolled on to her back again; a good sign since it meant he could actually see her face. She was still directing her words to the popcorn texture of the ceiling. “It makes me feel like you think I’m dirty, or too sexual. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. And it makes me angry, because I should be able to want and have and enjoy sex without feeling bad about it.”

He nodded in understanding. “So me saying you were eager felt like I was criticizing or making fun of you for initiating sex, like it meant something about you. Something negative.” He kept his tone soft and even.

She finally met his eye and he was struck by how vulnerable she looked. In addition to her nakedness, her furrowed brow and the pebble of her chin resembled nothing of the powerhouse beside him in a suit each day at the office. He was overcome with tenderness for her, and gratitude that she was allowing him to see her so raw and unguarded. He smiled softly at her and brought his hand to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her lips.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Thank you for telling me.”

She turned to face him and he quickly slid under the covers to envelop her in his arms without barriers, her face tucked against his chest while her leg threaded between his. He rubbed his hand up and down her back, grateful when he felt her relax against him.

“I understand where those feelings come from,” he continued, “and that they aren’t necessarily rooted in logic. But if logic has any impact at all, then I think I should tell you that any day that you express interest in me sexually is the best day of my life.”

She chuckled against the fabric of his T shirt.

“I’m serious. If your hang up is that you worry that wanting sex makes you some kind of depraved sex-fiend, my hang up is that I worry that I’m an awkward, unlovable doofus who no one wants to have sex with.”

She tilted her face up to look at his. “So I’m hesitant about initiating sex because you’ll think I’m a whore, and you’re hesitant about initiating sex because you think that I don’t want to have sex with you?”

“Exactly.”

“Wow. No wonder it took us so long to sleep together,” she said dryly, then smiled at him.

Sensing that he’d found his footing, he ran his hand down her back again, this time continuing to cup her ass and give it a squeeze. He was rewarded by her flexing her pelvis against him as she brought her hand to his cheek and captured him in a kiss.

“For the record, Mulder, I do want to have sex with you.” Her words were hot against his lips.

“Right now?”

“Right now would be good, if you’re interested.” She slid her hand down his chest, over his belly and on to the bulge forming in his sweatpants. “Which it would appear that you are.”

“For the record, Scully, I’m always interested.”

She rolled into him until she was once again hovering over him naked, and they picked up where they left off.

Tagging @today-in-fic , thank you!

#dana scully #the x files #txf #fox mulder #gillovny #msr #sculder #xf fanfic

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