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hollyhomburg · 3 years

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Before I Leave You (Pt.4)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Yoongi makes his choice, so does Moonbyul.

Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin,

Tags: Graphic material, Death, Murder, Dead bodies and dying described in detail, brief suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, depression, DARK THEMES, guilt, blood, a touch of blood kink? drugs, murder/crime themes, guilt, kinda fuck or die vibes? finally fluff at the end, mating marks,

W/c: 7.1k

A/n: here is the moment you’ve all been waiting for! the big d word moment!!! my carpal tunnel is acting up, I will probably not be able to get the next chapter out for a few days or until next week. Chronologically the next chapter continues after part 1.

(PLEASE READ TAGS FOR CW BEFORE YOU PROCEED)

Previous part — Masterlist

Part 4: If I Have You

Pulling the trigger is the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

Geumjae’s body flinches back from the force of the bullet. The ceiling splattering with the spray of his blood. It hits the side of your face too, your white shirt crested with red at the shoulders, dripping down your throat along with the blood from your mating bite. It’s a percussive splatter, noisy as it hits the wall.

People never talk about how blood gets everywhere during a murder. Yoongi is unable to stop his flinch when Geumjae’s brain matter and viscera splatter against him, just a little.

Yoongi didn't think you'd actually do it.

He watches you shove the body away from you, hard, what's left of his head, an empty vessel, hitting the floor with a hollow thud. His hands leave you for the last time, but the pain isn't finished.

Yoongi barely has the forethought to lunge forward, knees scraping, wrestling the gun out of your hand before you can turn it on yourself. The barrel of the gun is hot when Yoongi's hands close around it and yank it away from your own temple. The smell of burning skin joins the metallic scent of murder. Your scent is a mess- it’s barely had a chance to mix with Geumjae’s burning wood-burning bread and wrath, rainstorms, and gunpowder.

He shouts your name but you don't respond.

Yoongi yanks the gun from your hands, probably hurting your fingers but panicked when he hurls the gun to the other side of the room and takes your hands in his, wrestling with you and screaming your name until the fight goes out of you.

You’re hyperventilating when you stop struggling. Both of your wrists pinned above your head in both of Yoongi’s hands, his knees pressing your legs to stillness in a way that could be sexual but isn't- it's the easiest way for him to restrain you- both sprawled on the bloody floor. Yoongi’s crying, tears dripping down his nose, every other drop shines pink from what's on his face.

“Yoongi please- please just let me go- I don’t want to become a ghost- I don't wanna become a walking corpse.” The way you look breaks his heart, your neck so bruised and bloody, your face swelling too from Geumjae’s hits. The way your eyes hold only darkness and no warmth as you look at him and beg- beg him to let you take your life. Your pupils are so small he can't see them at all.

“Let me die Yoongi- please just- if you do one thing for me- let do this. let me go."

Yoongi looks at your mating mark and can already see the thin tracery of ink spreading under your skin- inky blackness spreading from your mating bite and up your throat. A piece of someone who’s dead inside of you, shot through with silver to make it stand out more.

It’s like some silly zombie bite in a bad horror movie but it’s so much more haunting, The veins in your eyes are even starting to discolor. You have maybe a few minutes before the mating bite takes you over completely and you’re mated to someone dead.

Zombie movies were nothing more than fear of this taking root in common culture, everyone fears losing their mate. What else is more terrifying than something that takes your humanity in the way that this has taken yours. This is every person’s worst nightmare- a death sentence.

‘Ghosts’ are what society has dubbed the women and men who live after losing their partners. Most of the time they live without alpha or a pack- unable to bond to anyone else ever again once their mates are dead. Mating bites are a one-time thing.

When one-half of a mated pair dies- a person's body has a peculiar way of letting outsiders know how to treat them gently- The mating mark turns black like a brand. A mark to let everyone know that they would never have another person to take care of them- to love them.

But you aren’t alone- you’re not alone because you have Yoongi and he’s right here with his wide palms on you. Hands that where always made to fix things, but you aren’t just some broken toy that needs a bit of glue. He’s too late, just seconds too late and only inches away.

He grips both of your forearms in either of his palms hands, pulling you closer. Making you sit up, dragging you into his lap like carrying your weight in his arms will fix this. Anything to hold onto you- to not lose you too soon.

"Stop- just stop, I've got you- I've got you," Yoongi repeats it more for himself than he does for you.

But there are wounds in your body that can’t be fixed by simple hoping. There is a limit to what one person can take. Despair is one hell of a drug and while Yoongi fights and fights there is no undoing what Geumjae has done to you.

But maybe…

Yoongi dares to hope; “It’s only a half bond if we-“ he falls silent as the idea settles over him like a bucket of cold water. His brain rushing over everything he’s ever learned about mating bites and beta’s; all of the statistics and articles that Namjoon had shoved down his throat when Jungkook had first stopped having seizures.

The medical mystery that betas were; how they were able to heal unseen hurts and maybe- maybe this was like that. Maybe the solution to this problem lays in Yoongi’s veins, in his mouth.

His jaw aches at the very suggestion of it. “I’m a beta- and betas don’t usually mark- because- because they’re stronger than alpha and omega bites.”

It’s the only truth that makes sense. All of the stories of omegas and alphas going crazy after being bitten by betas, not being able to move from them too far, extreme clinginess- a bond that was too close, too strong, stronger than anything else in their life. You weren’t supposed to bond with someone so deep, the bite almost seemed to do more harm than good.

But you’re already dying and there isn’t much worse that could happen to you.

You don't have anything to lose but Yoongi does. You shake yourself free from his arms and pull back. Recoiling from what he’s offering to do for you; tether him to you forever when you might not make it.

You can already feel the mating mark taking hold- It's already starting to cloud your judgment, deep down, the part of you that cares if you survive this is already winking out. The blankness sinking through your every inch, The emptiness. You’d be surprised if you lifted your hand to your chest and found your heart still beating.

“Yoongi- No- you don’t have to- you’ve already got a pack and don’t- don’t bind yourself to someone like me.”

It’s the same argument that you had before but there’s no force behind it- every stupid excuse you had for him not to love you is moot now that your husband is dead next to you. But you're done; Every breath takes more effort than it should and you feel so heavy. You look down at your lap and feel the lethargy sinking beneath your bones like lead. Hidden hands gripping around your throat cutting off your words.

You feel like you’re choking on something.

You’ve felt depressed before (how could you not have given what your life was like before Yoongi). And having a mating mark from someone deceased feels like that but worse, like it's turned up by a factor of three. A weird mixture of dizzy, absent, and dissociative. You have never felt less connected to your own body, it feels foreign.

You are nothing but a soul inside a body, craving release. A thread of black that wants to tug you down to where ever Geumjae is now.

The sinking sadness says to you with gentle hands- this is a fine spot. You can just sit here, It’s okay. You don’t have to move, you can just sit here until you die. As long as no one bothers you and hurts you again, you could just sit here, as long as it was quiet and peaceful. Things don't even have to be good, you don't need good things, you just need it to not hurt anymore. Until the earth reclaims you like it takes abandoned buildings.

A sharp pain that goes through your heart, an ache so deep that it speaks to cavernous places, wakes monsters that you didn’t know where there.

You’ve never really wanted to die before, maybe as a passing thought- but didn’t everyone think that way? it’s so different now- where the thoughts are all consuming, running over your words in your head like oil spreading and staining cloth.

Die- want to die- want- want- want die- wanna go- wanna be quiet- wanna fall asleep and not wake up- want to-

But if you decided to lay here and not get up again, Yoongi would stay too.

He would try and get you to move, probably beg and try to get you to live. Even if he never bit you, he’d stay next to you until the end, just to hold your hand so that you didn’t have to be completely alone. You thought dying would feel more lonely, But maybe it doesn't feel that way because Yoongi’s here.

His hand closes around yours, his thumb rubbing soothing circles as he cries. And you think if you want one thing; it's for him to stop crying. Out of all people- Yoongi doesn't deserve the hurt (but maybe you're biased because you love him).

That tips the scale in his favor.

Geumjae’s blood is pooling on the floor. His body gives a twitch, the last remnants of his misfiring nerves as he dies. You feel the painful jerk in your mating bond. Yoongi watches the muscles of your neck twitch.

Neither you nor Yoongi pays him any mind.

"You don't have to do this Yoongi." Yoongi’s hand on your cheek- is like a balm to those words, pushing them out of your head. “You can’t take it back. If I die- you could die too.”

“But I want to” he kisses your cheek- and the contact lights a flame down your neck to your touch starved heart. The heat flares to light and the next second your body and your mouth are aching to bite. Your instincts an avalanche around you begging you to complete the bond that’s tearing through you making you shake. He kisses a little closer to your lips, cheeks wet and cool against your skin.

Geumaje and Yoongi were related by blood at all, maybe your instincts can’t tell the difference.

“I don’t care if it does- I can’t- I’m not going to just let you die” his voice breaks on the last word. Not when it was me who was too slow to save you; He won’t say the words or whisper his guilt into the open air.

“Please sweetheart- let me.” He kisses your lips. So soft- achingly soft, Your first kiss, you wish it had happened under better circumstances.

You hate that the first kiss you and Yoongi share tastes like blood.

But there would be more- there could be more kisses if Yoongi manages to do what he’s saying he can. The mark on your shoulder is already healing, the blackness stretching to scar treacherously fast. Normal mating bites usually take a day or so to heal, but not yours, it’s already scabbing and sealing in the poision.

If you’re going to try this- if it’s going to work- it has to be now. The bond is advancing, regardless of the fact that Geumjae is barely dead, barely cooling beside the two of you.

It’s barely been 10 minutes since you shot him. And if you listen carefully- you can hear sounds in the rest of the house, maybe someone else from the gang here- about to come upstairs and discover the mess of you three. muffled voices and heavy footsteps grow louder by the second.

Yoongi is safe but you’re not. “Yoongi,” you say, his name a broken hymn on your mouth. Musical- and Yoongi can’t think of a time when he wouldn’t want to hear it. Hoping for more of this closeness and maybe one day, a love that doesn’t hurt.

You get the feeling that even if you are broken beyond repair, this man could fix you. Wide hands and careful fingers that rub the blood away from your skin, hands made for making things and mending things when they break. And maybe you’re selfish enough to let him bind himself to you- broken as you are.

You press your forehead to his, you have to ask one more time. "Are you sure Yoongi?"

He nods, quick and small, "I'm sure." there isn’t anything in his eyes that makes you doubt him.

"Okay," you say softly, tugging him closer, tilting your chin up to the sky, your skin stings where it stretches around the mating mark. "okay. Come here then."

Your hands tangle in Yoongi’s hair as you guide his mouth to your throat, and his mouth sliding into the space where Geumjae was just minutes ago. He lingers for just half a breath before sinks his teeth over the mating mark, a little deeper- his mouth a little wider. He makes the bite a tiny bit offset.

Your breath hitches, back arching. His hands-on your waist go hard, holding you closer to him, as close as he can get you. Unlike before when Geumjae’s bite was agony, this feels like heroin- like every drug mixing together sending you up and up.

If you looked down and saw your hands were tipped in gold you wouldn’t be surprised. For a second you think you can taste colors, and then the chocolate sea salt of Yoongi settles over your tongue delicious, like ambrosia- fuck it’s so strong, it’s halfway between a headache and a high. You gasp when you feel it, feel Yoongi all over, Goosebumps rising on your arms as he touches you. The smell of ocean breeze and chocolate filling you in a way that Geumjae’s scent didn’t.

Geumjae’s bite was nothing compared to this, a whisper to a symphony.

This must be what a mating bite feels like when you want it. You cry out. Gripping the lapels of his coat. Yoongi’s heartbeat thunders in your ears, the only thing you can hear, until the beat matches to your own, heartbeats pumping in sync.

Your blood tastes sweet and he wonders what it says about him that he likes the taste. He gulps at it- once- twice- and then a third time just to make sure the mark sticks, maybe he could suck a little bit of Geumjae out of you.

His kisses get feverish, lapping up your blood with wide laves of his tongue, moaning a little. and this time when you kiss- with your blood in his mouth, they get hurried and rushed like he can consume you, each one sweeter than the last. There is one moment of nausea, only one moment where Yoongi sees the black tracery receded and feels it dim.

Maybe it’s not gone, but at least it's buried.

Yoongi can almost feel you, can almost feel the bond, but not yet. Your scent, it's all cake-sweet now. You kiss him until your jaw aches until your lips feel bruised. Until you know the sounds below actually are people, rushing around trying to find Geumjae. Calling out your names.

Yoongi is the first to break apart, the room spinning. “Do me” he lifts the edge of his shirt, picking out a spot that he likes, the meat just above his hip. A spot is half-hidden by his shirt and his pants.

Not everyone likes to have their mating marks on their neck (you certainly would have chosen to have yours another place had you been given the chance). And Yoongi stretches out so that you can get your mouth on him, your mouth on the spot he wants to bind your soul to his.

He holds one of your hands in both of his hands so gently as you cup his hip and bite down, even as you begin to make out the noise of gang members coming up the attic stairs. Yoongi bites down a moan, lets you take one gasp of blood into your mouth before your teeth leave his skin.

The high rushes over him and he knows his pupils are mirrors of yours, black and dilated. He just has time to wipe his blood from your mouth and get you as close as he can, before the attic door creaks, the barrel of a gun pushing it open. And the gangsters enter the room with practiced steps.

Yoongi pulls his shirt back down just before they have a chance to see.

You play the part, slumping against him and letting him take the reigns. the people must take it for pain even though you’re shaking not with sobs, but from the feeling of Yoongi’s soul intertwining with yours. Full body shivers and something solidifying between the two of you.

Together you shake, Yoongi is barely aware of the gangsters clearing the room.

You feel like you can taste his thoughts, though you can’t actually hear what he's thinking. You can feel the way they tumble like small waves over each other. You feel concern and something else, something that feels an offal lot like love shoot down the fledgling bond as Yoongi’s arms pull you up, firmer against him.

It makes shivers rise on every inch of your skin, the pleasure he feels when he touches you that you're now hyper-aware of. It's what your body has been craving- the completion of the bond.

You both bleed- your blood dripping onto the floor. One part sacrament and sacred love and another part poisonous longing for a man you hated so much more than you ever loved him. This feels strange, it feels wrong, and that you have one part of you reaching out for something that’s not there. And then this- with Yoongi, right and front of you and inside of you. Completely occupying your heart and your mind and your body.

Accept for that one poisoned inch; you might not be completely his, but it's enough now, the bond with yoongi occupying those thoughts you'd had minutes before.

The gangsters don’t touch Geumjae, at least until Moonbyul enters the room, unarmed. Yoongi’s cousin eyes Yoongi from the door. There isn’t enough room in this torture room for the 12 or so gangsters and the three of you, they press against the walls, guns at the ready.

Moonbyul approaches Geumjae’s corpse, turning him over with her foot to see his blankly staring face, turning it towards the heavens instead of hell. For a moment, Yoongi thinks she might actually kick him. She plucks her pink handgun from the floor. Someone passes her a rag and she wipes it free of blood and fingerprints.

Her eyes on Yoongi are hard; a bit of mirth playing on the edge of her mouth as she plays her hand. A queen in a room full of pawns and knights, and the king underfoot. Her hand of aces.

Betting it all on a simple game of roulette- red or black- will Yoongi challenge her or not. Yoongi doesn't miss the way her finger hovers on the trigger.

“I suppose this entire situation would be concerning to me- if you hadn’t already named me as Don.” she nudges Geumjae's body again with her foot. "I guess he didn't take it well?"

She lies effortlessly, taking the moment to seize power. So this was what she was waiting for. Yoongi doesn’t challenge her words for fear of what she might do right now, not that he really would anyway.

Yoongi tips his head forward in difference, “No he didn’t,”

Moonbyul tucks her gun back into her waistband, and holds out her hand to pull yoongi to his feet.

Yoongi takes you with him, small and still a little high in his arms. You hide your face in Yoongi’s shoulder, Holding onto him tight. You don’t know if you could take it if they tried to separate you now.

Yoongi has to swallow to continue, struggling to think before he speaks with so many new sensations shocking his body. He's intimately aware of the way you shift in his arms, arms tightening around you at the very idea of you moving more than an inch away from him right now as you settle onto your own two feet. still a little unsteady.

“He- he mated her against her will, and then he tried to kill us when I told him I wouldn’t- and- and after-” It’s not a lie- not really, but it still feels that way. Moonbyul doesn't need to do anything more than that to nod to call her men off, and they all relax around the room.

They instantly fade from engaged concern to understanding. The other heads of household will probably grill Yoongi more. But you’ve both got time to get your story straight. For now, they need to clean up the body.

It helps that threatening the beta is a punishable offense; no one will question Yoongi killing him- especially since they’re brothers. Most of the families tend to think that inner house spats that family's business. Yoongi doesn’t know which of his relatives will inherit the title of head of the Min family, but it won't be Yoongi.

You’re small and silent in Yoongi’s arms, so vulnerable, he keeps you a few paces away from any of the mobsters, bites down a growl whenever any of them come too close to his mate. It’s just the mating bond making it’s self-known. You are his. No one can touch you.

Yoongi has never been a possessive man, but now he is. The mating mark tearing through him and screaming at him to protect, to provide, to nurture, and keep safe. He strokes down your back as his cousin quietly orders the others to clean up the mess and Geumjae’s body. The family has cleanup crews on call for this very reason.

They quietly offer to burn the house down to stage the death but Yoongi doesn’t care. He guesses it belongs to him now or maybe you. It depends on which bond the family will consider more important; the bonds of a half mating or the bond of brotherhood.

“I’ll handle it-“ his cousin has the good grace to offer comfort to Yoongi that way when he gets you into her car. she doesn't say anything about the dents in the side.

Yoongi doesn’t quite hate her for any of this, but he doesn’t trust her the same way he did before either. She’s gotten what she wanted- the Don position. Plucked it from Yoongi’s hands.

“You haven’t had a chance to call the heads of house and tell them about your decision yet, but after that, you should be free to go” she reads him easily as always, The only other manipulator up to par with Yoongi himself in the gang. She knows that not an inch of Yoongi wants to stay in this house or this city a second longer.

At the idea of leaving you to straighten up in Yoongi’s lap to listen in a little more, you share a look with Yoongi. Your mate, your body sings the eye contact makes you shiver in your seat. Yoongi pulls you closer, stroking up to your arm mistakenly thinking you’re cold. You pull yourself closer to him- but it feels like you can’t get close enough, He makes a dissatisfied noise in his throat.

Yoongi will have to get used to this feeling. Like his soul is walking outside of his body. It feels incredibly vulnerable and intimate- He can feel your panic, how physically you’re being torn apart right now, every few minutes you shake. Yoongi puts your legs over his and holds you close. Watching your face closely for every twinge of pain as the lights of the city flicker over you two.

The meeting with the heads of house is tense, though the usual group of is two short now, standing only at eleven members now that Geumjae is gone and Moonbyul is named Don. You cannot be Don and a head of house at the same time.

It takes every bone in Yoongi’s body to let you be taken into the other room by Moonbyul’s mate to check over your injuries. He stops her with a hand on her shoulder. He catches Moonbyul’s nostrils flare, but she doesn’t say anything. “Would you look at her bruises for me?”

Later Yoongi will check them himself, again and again until he's sure you're all right. But the sooner you get ice on the nastier bruises the better off you’ll be. Someone should look at your ribs and your head too- he has half a mind to take you to the hospital before you leave the city. He doesn’t know how long it will be before you’re stationary again. He’d stay in the city tonight if you needed to. But he can feel your panic down the bond, The sooner you both get out of here the better.

With Geumjae dead there is no true opposition against his cousin's rule. She stands at the head of the table like she’s meant to be there. And still- the heads of the families talk through the night, kicking the non-proverbial dead horse into the ground. There is little mourning for Geumjae, one granny who cries faintly in the other room while the heads argue. Yoongi supposes he should look more upset, but no one pays attention to him now that he’s made his choice.

No, what they spend most of the time discuss is you. Sat in the other room, able to hear all of this, the men and woman weighing your fate and deciding what to do with you. If Yoongi listens, he can hear Hyejin’s quiet voice. Can feel your discomfort as the ice hits your ribs, maybe broken, definitely badly bruised.

Yoongi flinches every time he feels the pain pulse down the bond. Maybe in time, it will feel less sensitive but right now- Yoongi can feel your hurts just as bad as he can feel his own. A part of him is reaching out into the other room, screaming in his ear to go comfort his mate.

He has a mate. Yoongi can scarcely believe it.

The gangsters around the table remain blissfully unaware of that fact. Most of the heads are on the same page, and he won’t reveal his mating mark unless he absolutely needs to, he will let that secret stay secret unless necessary. It’s a good bargaining chip. They wouldn’t kill you if they knew it was going to kill him too. But still- it’s hard to hear them argue over your fate when he can’t intervene.

“You know the rules- no divorces and no separations,” one alpha says, he’s older- nearing 60, but Yoongi can’t excuse that cruelty with age. The youngest, the head of the Ahn house does the rebutting for Yoongi, and he bites his tongue.

“But it wouldn’t be a divorce; she’s his widow now and his ex-mate technically.”

“Yes but that’s only a half bond.” There is only one omega head, and the woman snubs her long cigarette out on the table leaving an ashy circle

“It’s only the alpha bite that matters- or have you forgotten?”

To her credit, the omega doesn't back down. “Chances are she’ll die anyway why are we even talking about her, we should start transitioning already.”

“That’s easy to say- if she’s got nothing left to lose what’s to stop her from going to the police.”

“I can keep an eye on her,” Yoongi volunteers, jumping at the chance to turn the discussion to his favor. They can all go fuck themselves if they ever dare to try and hurt you. “You say she’s as good as dead anyway. So you shouldn't mind if she comes with me.”

The likelihood of anyone living after their mate dies is in the teens. Yoongi knew that and even then he bonded to you anyway. He can only hope that with his bite coursing through your veins and your body confused that you’ve got better odds than that. Yoongi did what he promised to do, now your odds are both 50/50. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t go to the police.”

Through the bond he can feel your curiosity and a little bit of fear too, you’re listening in. And he does his best to let his calmness comfort you too. Your panic instantly relaxes and he senses you reaching out. If you were next to Yoongi you’d be holding hands, and it kind of feels that way. If you could ever hold hands with someone’s soul.

“You realize that if you make her your responsibility, anything bad that happens will fall on your head as well” their betas might be sacred- but they aren’t free from the rest of the laws of the gang.

“I understand.” The Don lifts her head, regarding Yoongi with a heavy look. “She’s his widow and whether we want to address it now or not, the law says she’s inherited his wealth.”

It's met with immediate opposition, several heads of house start speaking over each other at once, but Yoongi speaks up again, shouting over them. A beta raising their voice is about as strange as one giving or getting a mating bite, everyone falls silent. “Give it to me or her- I don’t care.”

another few minutes and they’re ready to let you go. they vote on it, and only 3 out of 11 heads vote to have you killed. Moonbyul gives the all clear, “Then you’re free to go.” Yoongi doesn’t even say goodbye, going to you in the other room just as quickly as he can without outright running. The Don’s mate is crouched in front of where you sit. Your body is mostly clean of blood and you’ve been put in other clothes; a pair of sweats and a baggy shirt.

Yoongi can see all the bruises on the side of your face turning purple and Yoongi wants to cup your face and bring it to his, kiss away the pain coloring your skin like watercolors, but can’t do it here. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”

“Not for her but maybe for you, no ones checked you over yet, have they?”

yoongi grits his teeth, seconds away from snapping at hyejin, he wants her to get away, get as far from you as possible. “i asked if she needed the hospital.”

Hyejin stands when Yoongi crouches. shaking her head when it becomes clear yoongi isn’t to be argued with right now. “There’s something wrong with her- but I think you know what” her eyes hover on Yoongi’s hip.

So at least she’s figured it out. She has the good sense to utter the words quietly. Though the people in the other room aren’t concerned with Yoongi anymore, they’ve already launched into discussions about transitioning power and re-defining responsibilities. It seems Moonbyul had a plan on how she wanted the family to run from the beginning.

He shakes off his annoyance, “Thank you,” he says to the omega, holding out a hand to you, which you take, still not saying anything. Tiredness holding you down to the chair. The same kind of look you’d had when Geumjae had died. The mating mark has been taped over but some of the blackness is still there. Yoongi wonders when it will fade, if it ever does.

“I wish I could say I’ll see you soon but I don’t think I will.” You and Yoongi nod, your hands twined between the two of you. She knows that neither you nor Yoongi has a love for the gang. No one stops you and Yoongi when you leave the house. Immediately hailing a taxi. You stop only at Yoongi’s safe house for a spare 20 minutes, while he packs up a fraction of his belongings in a hurried rush, anything to get out before someone tries to change their mind.

If Geumjae had any hidden loyalists the beta that killed him and his runaway wife would be the first targets. Let alone their reaction if they knew who had really killed Geumjae. The quicker the two of you get away from the city the better.

You end up at the train station, Yoongi breaks the bracelets off of your wrist- the same ones that he saw you wear on you the first night- and the ones that he’s always thought looked like shackles. He yanks at them as hard as he can until they snap; kissing your wrist after each one is off. You throw them over the side of the chain-link fence and into the darkness- to be lost forever you hope. The symbols of all you’ve lost.

When you get on the train, you cuddle close under Yoongi’s jacket and into his warmth. He’s a protective barrier between you and the third seat that thankfully remains empty this late into the night it’s so late it’s nearly early morning. Most of the train is empty besides an elderly couple at the front. Regardless, the two of you sit behind them. Yoongi can’t take his eyes off of the potential threat. Actually flinches when the conductor comes around to stamp your tickets.

You head off into the night- your little box of light in a sea of street lamps and hidden dangers. You almost fall asleep a few times, head bobbing as you catching yourself before it hits his shoulder. After the third time this happens he pulls you in close, tucks your head close to his scent gland, and commands “sleep” in a voice that you cannot disobey.

Eventually, you wake, the car is bright with the midday sun and the car is half full. Yoongi’s eyes are bloodshot as they train on every passenger who comes in and leaves your train car. Yoongi holds your hand, rubbing his thumb up and down the back in an endless trail. A conductor opens the door of your train car to pass through, bunching a few tickets here and there from the new passengers who have boarded the train.

He passes by where you're bundled and Yoongi flinches so hard it wakes you fully. his shoulder accidentally nudging a bruise on your cheek, He murmurs his apologies, panicked hands fussing over you. He could feel that he hit one of your bruises and the horror of hurting you make him wide-eyed and worried. You catch his hands, pressing the pads of them to your lips. Yoongi's hands shake as they touch you, hours later, he's still high on adrenaline.

“You need to sleep Yoongi” it’s been a long few days for both of you.

He doesn’t answer with more than a grunt. But you get off the train at the next stop and it’s nearing noon by the time the two of you stumble across the street to a motel, and it’s shitty and smells like cigarettes and the lady at the front desk asks if you need the hourly rate or the daily rate. Though she does give you a discount because Yoongi’s a beta. Eyeing the blood-soaked collar of his jacket and the bloody bandages on your neck.

You should be holed up somewhere safe away from prying eyes to adjust to your new mating bite- not in a hotel where the smells of other people assault your nose. Making you press close to Yoongi because everything smells so new and scary. Like your senses have been turned up and only Yoongi can quell their sensitivity.

you don’t realize that the attendant gave you two beds until you get to the room. you both stare blankly before you cough and separated. the closeness too much now that you’re alone and free from threats. Though it doesn't feel that way.

you hate it- you don’t want to curl up across the room from Yoongi- you want to be next to him. you almost whimper when he He steps away to the other bed to set down his backpack. You want to cry, your skin feels irritated and itchy without his pressed to yours. You want him to touch you but you can’t stay it. Don’t know how to ask around the thickness in your throat.

He gets a clean shirt from his black backpack and helps you put it on so that you don’t irritate the mating bite. You can’t lift either of your arms much and neither can he but he pushes through the pain for you. He only has 2 or three sets of clothes that he grabbed from the cottage, and it’s all you’ve got.

“We’ll get some more clothes for you tomorrow.” He doesn’t say that you should have grabbed some of your clothes- because you both know you couldn’t handle staying in that house a second more than was necessary. You barely thought to linger long enough to grab your purse, which thankfully had everything you really need in it.

Somehow he has athletic tape in his bag, and he spends a few minutes changing out your soaked through bandages, bundling up toilet paper, and taping it over your mating bite. Only after yours is taken care of does he let you do the same for his bite on his hip, and the burns on his hands.

You pull his pants off and then his boxers down just enough so that you can get at it, small from your mouth, the skin around it irritated and pink. You try not to let your eyes hover on the small happy trail that traces from his belly button downwards. The band on his boxers is stained with blood- and you wonder how much it hurt to have it dig into it all day.

You curl up in separate beds, and only when you’re under the covers do you slide off your pants. leaving you only in a large shirt that smells like yoongi. Yoongi does the same, says “goodnight” and shuts off the light but doesn’t turn away from you, keeping his eyes on you in the darkness.

You’re silent for a few minutes, but you can tell that neither of you is falling asleep. Your bed feels cold and you wonder if he feels the same, you let the distance hurt for a minute before you give in.

"Thank fucking god-" He peels back the blanket for you the second you make the move and dash across the cold room. you scoot into his warmth and he lets out a little ‘oof’ when you collide. Letting him pull you closer, put the blanket over your back, and make sure all of your skin is covered.

It’s not enough for Yoongi and he pulls you sideways so that he can get some of his weight on top of you. A growl building in his chest at the thought of anyone walking through the door right now.

He needs to check the lock, make sure that no one can possibly disturb you. Needs to- the instinct filling him so harshly he can’t breathe. He tries to pull away, but your hands tighten on him, and you let out a whine so heartbreaking that instantly has him releasing comforting chocolate, flopping back on top of you nuzzling under your chin, you feel like you’re drowning in it.

Your love with Yoongi is still too new and raw to be close like this without feeling shy- and yet you can’t resist, your mating bond is like a fresh burn that you can’t stop picking at because it hurts. (Like there’s something dead there that you need to get rid of, you can’t heal around, you need to tear it out so that it feels more like bleeding rather than something that was carved out by hungry heat.) You fiddle with the bandage at your neck before Yoongi takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together.

For a moment, you crave the release that blood might give you- and like he can feel it. Yoongi presses a kiss to the back of your hand. “Couldn’t sleep?” Yoongi says. You shake your head. The motel creeks and overhead you can hear someone else moving in an adjacent room. Yoongi gets his head on your pillow and adjusts his hand around your waist so that he’s not hitting the vicious bruise that Geumjae left with one of his kicks.

The last 24 hours have been such a tangle. It feels weird to not move now. Yoongi’s heart is still hammering; you can feel it under your palm. You’re both unwilling to relax and close your eyes even for a second even though you’re both exhausted.

You’re worried if you close your eyes you’re going to see Geumjae's face.

Yoongi left the light in the bathroom on for you. Sensing that the shadows would be too thick with nightmares for you to handle for long. You look at each other in the darkness before Yoongi lets out a shaky little giggle.

“Do you know what I just realized?” he says, the words quieted against the too scratchy bedspread. “We could have gotten a better hotel, we easily have enough money for it now” and that’s true.

If Yoongi’s orders were followed and the gang's accountant really did transfer all of your inherited wealth to your name then- fuck- both of you saw the bank statements. Both of you know how much money Yoongi’s family had amassed- the same wealth that Geumjae had inherited and now you.

“Fuck you’re right,” you say, ducking in so that you don’t have to meet Yoongi’s eyes. Geumjae used to hit you sometimes if you did that- and trained habits die-hard.

yoongi kisses your brow, slow little pecks that travel down your cheeks, as unhurried as they are sweet. It's strange to be close to him now when it’s all you’ve wanted for the last few months. You never thought you’d get this. It feels like a daydream and a nightmare all at once.

“We could buy a whole house- or three” and even then you’d have more than enough money to live on after. For the rest of your days, comfortable and cozy even if you were foolish with the money. Yoongi still gets his stipend from the gang. No doubt to be greater now that he’s the only beta.

He stops his kisses, mouth hovering on your cheek, “We could do that.” he sounds like he’s barely containing his excitement.

You’ll both be fine. Neither of you will ever have to worry about money again and it makes you feel sick and happy with something that feels a terrible lot like grief.

Even if you got that- the last 24 hours haven’t been worth it. You’re not entirely out of the woods yet. The mark on your shoulder is scabbing over and inky. But every few hours of closeness that the two of you have- Yoongi think’s he sees the color fade- just a little bit.

You don’t know where the giggle comes from but one moment it comes out of your mouth and you laugh, and Yoongi joins in the sound startling out of his chest. He presses his forehead tight against yours and sighs at the sound. You see the moment clarity falls on him and an idea settles into his mind the second it hits. And dim happiness settles over your bond.

Yoongi lifts your hand to his mouth and kisses your bruised knuckles. “Let's buy a house.”

You smile- tired from today but still willing to placate him. “Okay Yoongi, we can do that.”

Now finally, his eyes are starting to droop, every few seconds he tries to keep them open, but you know he's seconds away from sleep. His words slurred when they whisper, his sweet chocolaty breath tickling your cheeks. “Goodnight sweetheart- love you.”

“Love you too,” it’s the first time you’ve ever said those words to each other. It feels like the first of many times you’ll say it. Forever- you and Yoongi will be mated together until you both die. And who cares if that happens tomorrow or months from now. Who cares? Because you have him and that’s all that matters.

Yoongi holds you and knows- that he will love you- as long as he can.

He watches you sleep, waits until your eyes are closed. Until he can make sure you’re safe and warm. A gentle purring fills the hotel room, soft and peaceful. yoongi hears it louder when he presses his ear to your chest. He tries to keep his eyes open, but somewhere around the second hour- they fall closed.

Neither of you dream.

—————

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whysojiminimnida · 2 years

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Okay honestly I know lots of people don't like to touch this topic with a 10 foot pole because it's kinda invasive and more tricky to maneuver than questioning/assuming any of the boys are not straight probably because attraction to others is more outward and people tend to be more uncomfortable w. trans shit so I don't blame you if you wanna ignore this but I can't lie there's a significant part of me hesitant to label Jungkook gay gay specifically because of Jimin. His bigender tattoo lives rent free in my mind and as a person of slight gender identity fuckery I physically cannot wrap my mind around a completely 110% cis person ever doing that especially with his words about expressing things he couldn't before and the effort to show it off during the photoshoot and other times when he talked about his personal journey. On the lowest of keys it just feels like he got a lil sum going on in there if that makes sense so I personally like to leave space for that when thinking about Jk's obvious attraction to him but at the same time I honest to god do get why people think he's full on gay and as a bi person erasure irritates my soul so usually I'm the first person to call people out for disregarding or flat out ignoring mspec identities but I can't lie that he generally doesn't seem very interested in most women as far as I've seen like I fully agree with people who aren't seeing it lol but I've also also seen him with pink purple and blue strands in his hair and that kinda stuck out to me idk I'm kinda rambling the most important thing is that we all agree he's 'gay' in the sense that he's obviously attracted to men because that in itself makes him part of the lgbtq community regardless of the specifics of his personal identity

I hear what you're saying, anon. I have said before that I thought Jimin had bi or pan possibilities for me and his gender, although he identifies publicly as male, could very easily be fluid or he could fall somewhere on a genderqueer spectrum. But he has clued us in on bigender concepts in a pretty big way twice. Once in the 2019 (released in January 2020) 6th ARMY.ZIP photoshoot, and again with Filter.

For the 6th ARMY.ZIP "Young Forever: Mono" photo spread, Jimin requested the tattoos that were drawn on his skin. Not "oh hey draw me some tats" but specifically "I want these ones", reportedly. We see the moon. We see hashtags. We see "Lie" and "Youth" and cute lil knuckle tats like someone else we know. "Love" is written on the inside of his fingers. And we see a bigender symbol, sometimes (but not usually) also used for bisexuality. And about this Jimin said:

Okay then. The story of his life written on his skin. Could account for the mirror shot, which I find to be rather compelling:

THEN we got Filter. With the Illecebra and Arcanus. The costume changes into mens and womens pieces with accompanying changes in tone and demeanor. The ending quickchange into jewel tones (red and purple) with THAT choreography. I don't think one can come up with MORE bigender-coded performance art.

youtube

I mean Y'ALL. WATCH THAT CHOREO if you don't like studying Latin or looking at clothes or listening/reading lyrics. And I don't mean to gloss over Jimin's possible bisexuality. He has coded for it. I've discussed it before, but just for reference, the famous bisexual/pansexual Butter rainbow hair:

I do personally think Jimin's primary preference is men because, duh. His primary preference is Jungkook. Whoever Jungkook is seems to be just fine with him. Now, as it relates to Jungkook. JeiKei could very easily just be in love with Jimin, and whoever Jimin is, also fine with him. I've seen that called "Jiminsexual" and I think it speaks to pan orientation and is an oversimplified but kinda okay interpretation of the data we have. Jungkook also identifies publicly as male. He has not said anything beyond that he's a cis man who, as nearly as we can tell, is into men in general and Jimin specifically. Could that change? Sure. Is that the whole truth? Very possibly not. He has toyed with looking pretty in long hair and liking his makeup and wanting his nails done and wearing pretty women's clothes. But where you were going, anon, is that Jungkook could be bi or pan or that his sexual orientation, not his gender identity, might not be 100% gay if he's into Jimin and Jimin is bigender or genderqueer. And that is valid. I feel like the Jeon-Parks are better described as a queer couple than as a gay couple. To our eyes they appear gay: two dicks one relationship looks pretty gay to most folks. It's an easy descriptor and from an anatomy standpoint it's also a correct one. But to fully embrace the Jeon-Parks is to embrace their otherness in all areas, not just one or two, and it's very likely that their relationship has deep, private layers about which we are not going to ever be enlightened. You think homosexuality is tough in Korea, I think we all know that trans or other gender identity is not acceptable. So perhaps "queer" is the better word.

#thanks nice anon #i like you #lgbtq #queer coding #genderqueer #gay gay gay #pansexual #just idk we got some queers in here #mainly the jeon parks but a lot of the rest of us so be cool #jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #also a whole park jimin exists #and a jeon jungkook #filter #butter #illecebra #that rainbow hair

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bangtanpromptsfics · 3 years

Text

hyacinth. (m)

dialogue prompt #3: “Your tutor is so hot”

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: f2l(?), light smut

word count: 1,540

warnings: heavy making out, grinding, blonde!jk

summary: you think your new tutor at school is hot and jungkook is determined to change that

a/n: another mature oneshot. I basically die from embarrassment while writing smut lol.

masterlist

“Your tutor is so hot”. Jungkook turns around to your attention so fast he could probably snap his neck.

“Mr. Seokjin? ”, he knows who you are talking about. The new personality development tutor of your school, more like the entire population’s crush at this point. And Jungkook hated him just for the same reasons, it seems petty but he can't help himself.

“Go fuck him then”, he snorts, swinging his back pack from one shoulder to another while you grin. Almost as on queue, Seokjin appears on the hallways and passes a smile towards all the students.

“Oh yes. Look at that a--”

“I guess that's enough for today, come on we gonna get late”, he grabs your arms and pushes you forward to move, having enough of your daily ranting about angelic beauty and who the hell laughs at some dad joke?

“When were you ever interested in math Kook?”, you tease him, resisting him to walk slower, “Oh are you perhaps… jealous!? ”

“I'm not jealous. You are annoying”, he shoots cold face.

“Hey! I'm just saying he's attractive you don't have to be so mean about it”, you whine, hitting his arm.

You see, the fact that Seokjin stole Jungkook’s high school heartthrob position in two days is one thing, but he never expected you to act the same, especially when you were so different from most students on the campus. In fact he is shocked to see you crushing on someone. You despised people in general and he kept wondering what's there in their teacher to be so lurk about because he honestly doesn't see anything.

“He's old. And everyone knows he has a girlfriend, you guys dumb or what? ”, Jungkook teases back.

“Doesn't mean I can't praise a beautiful human”

“So he's the only attractive guy in the school? ”, he's curious now and also lowkey wants to find out if you had felt anything like this about himself.

Jungkook knew he was hot. He knew he could destroy Seokjin's reputation with one different hair color but that's too much drama over nothing. As if there isn't ten assignment waiting for him at home. Yeah he got better things to do.

“Nope”, comes your immediate answer. And man that hurt. You are smart and cocky and it would be cool to know someone like you finds him attractive, but you just hurt his ego.

“Not even me? ”, he asks, all squeaky and with a small pout and you return him a smile.

“See you at 7 Kook”

____

School ends at 5, and thankfully both of your residence are nearby and there's a party hosted by Jimin at his house which is a five minute drive so Jungkook has roughly one hour and fourty five minutes to make an appearance to the party. And by appearance he means to look absolutely endearing. He's never the type to bang a lot of chicks, he didn't even need to do anything than to wear a black tee and jeans to a party and could still get laid. If he wanted sex, he can have that any time he wants.

But today is different.

He's never been this eager to be at a gathering, took time to pick outfits and oh dye his hair. He has never experimented with hair colors except that one time he tried red and got famous by the name ‘cherry head’ in the entire locality.

You of course give yourself the usual thirty minutes to do slight makeup and wear shorts with oversized tee styled enough to merge into the party. And boy you have no idea what you are going to witness today.

Jungkook arrives ten minutes late because the highlights took time to dry off. He styles them, but not too much. He still wanted to look effortlessly handsome and got that long abandoned shear black shirt with blue jeans.

“Woah is that Jungkook!?”, some girls whisper beside the bar you are currently seated at and you turn around, only to feel a pang to your chest. Fuck. A completely look through shirt with fucking tight blue denim is he fucking kidding? And blonde hair? Yeah it's that complete ‘drool over me bitches’ package.

You suddenly feel self aware of how simple you looked. He should have given a heads up because one needs several business days to process blonde Jungkook. He seemed unrecognizable.

“Woah… What's up with this new look!?”, you approach finally. Many people eye him shamelessly in your peripheral vision which is pretty much obvious.

“Nothing. Just felt like it”, he grins, having won you. Jungkook is not attractive who? Yeah he bets Seokjin will never pull off this look.

“You like it? ”, and he undoes first two buttons, exposing a bit of his toning straight to your eyes. Is he fucking teasing? You want to confront him because he's acting weird. But you don't know if this is because you feel different around him.

“Y-yeah… It's good”, you tug a smile.

“Wanna dance?”, he asks and you nod, taking your hand to the dance floor. Most people are wasted but both of you are not. So when you feel him touching more than usual, you are absolutely aware that it's not an accident.

He holds you so close all the time, as if it's something you do daily. Fuck.

“Hold me like this”, he says out of nowhere and throws your hand behind his neck. He knows what he's doing. And you are aware too, but too weak in knees to retract. You hate that you are actually enjoying this and he loved it.

“Y/n….”, he whispers to your ear, tucking a strand of your hair behind it, “Can I kiss you love? ”

Your nod is so soft and innocent before you give in. Most people who were looking forward for Jungkook’s company give up and hook up with other guys around because they know he isn't here for anybody else.

He flushes your hips against his as he kisses you, obviously tongue all the way. He doesn't know why but he wanted to shut your mouth exactly like this whenever you swooned over Seokjin. And he is most certain that all those memories are perished along with the kiss.

He pulls your bottom lip out and looks into your eyes and grinds his hip on yours, and you moan lowly. He internally curses at how sweet you sounded.

“Come with me”. He pulls you out of the crowd and into a private cubicle where people usually make out. And thankfully there was one vacant.

But he isn't quick to act once inside the space. He takes his time to lock the door and to sit at that one chair in the centre, manspreading luxuriously for you to see.

You never did anything like this with Jungkook. It was not like you had friend zoned him, you actually don't know why, all these years you spent casually flirting and shrugging off with each other, and now you can't wait to devour him.

You make your way to his lap and sit right on his hips, sighing at the contact. He grabs the back of your head and pushes it towards him. His other hand taps your butt to continue grinding which you happily do so.

He continues exploring your skin, hooking his hands on your shirt and rubbing circles at the skin there. Feeling his cold hands, you move to undo two more of his buttons to get a peak of his pecs, something you wanted to do the moment you saw him.

He moans into your mouth when your movements start to get him worked up, feeling high and ecstatic. Even with the denim shorts on, the dent on his pants was enough to get you close to orgasm.

“J-Jungkook… ”, you trail off, head slightly falling back which he catches.

“Go on love, almost there”. Fuck. You loved it when he called you names, but this one was, exceptionally very much turning you on.

He detaches his mouth to suckle on your collar bone, exposing it by pulling your t shirt slightly down. It becomes all too much, and you focus on the knot forming at your stomach.

Jungkook stops kissing you, indicating he's chasing his high several moments after yours, glad that both opted for thick denims as bottoms to cover the mess you made.

“We should've done this way before”, you imply, separating the strands of his hair sticking to his forehead.

“We could've, but you were busy drooling over some teacher”, he smugs.

“So you were jealous! ”.

Unfortunately his cocky being doesn't have an answer for that so he dodges it with another long kiss, breaking off with a loud smooch.

“God I can kiss you forever Y/n…”

“And...then? ”, you ask your confusion. You don't know what's your relationship with Jungkook is anymore, now that you had made out with him.

“... then… maybe you'll fall in love with me?”

“See you at the party Kook”, you peck the corner of his lips and get off his lap. After taking a moment to fix your outfit, you leave the cubicle.

And Jungkook knew exactly what he was going to do.

Thank you so much for reading!! ♡

Original Content of ©bangtanpromptfics

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smoochkooks · 3 years

Text

—hymne a l’amour (m.)

⟶ pairing: park jimin/reader

⟶ genre: smut, fluff, tiny bits of angst

⟶ word count: 5.5k

⟶ summary: it’s valentine’s day and your boyfriend decides to surprise you in more ways than one. and when you’re dating park jimin, cocky, smart and obnoxiously good-looking archeologist, you can be sure of absolutely nothing.

⟶ warnings: dom!jimin, sub!reader, big dick!jimin, sir kink, oral (m receiving), thigh riding, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, ass slapping, dirty talk, use of degrading names, unprotected sex, mentions of jimin having a daddy kink, jimin being disgustingly sweet boyfriend, oc having at least 2 (two) mental breakdowns, cringy valentine’s day presents

this is eldorado valentine’s day special but it can be read as a standalone. enjoy! xx

Spending Valentine's Day in the city of Paris is like walking through the streets of Beijing and smelling the strong essence of soy sauce and chicken every time you take a breath.

Overwhelming.

(Or at least that's what you think is a good comparison, since you've never stood your foot in Beijing before.)

Paris seems to be on another level when it comes to celebrating Valentine's Day. It's because that's the city of love, someone may say, but no, my friend, it's not just that. French grammar isn't the only stupid thing about said country. Citizens are even weirder, in more ways than one. It's the Eiffel Tower and the smell of garlic that disguises it all when you first visit France.

A week before February 14th, restaurants, cafees and grocery shops are all covered from head to toe in red hearts, chubby cupids, big teddy bears, various kinds of roses and, at the top of that – everywhere you focus your eyes on, you spot those huge inscriptions where words ‘love’ and ‘I love you’ are spelled in hundred different types of swirly fonts.

It's all too kitschy for your liking but tourists and locals don’t actually mind it even a bit. Once a year Paris turns into a set of the most cliché rom-com and no matter how irksome it might feel, you just have to survive this festival of boofonery.

You've always despised Valentine's Day with every fiber of your being (mostly because you hadn’t had anyone you could actually spend this day with) but your judgement took a sharp three-sixty turn when certain blond, charismatic man entered your life. Now, while you’re happily taken, a romantic dinner and a bouquet of red roses don’t sound that bad.

But when you're dating someone like Park Jimin, a smart-ass, cocky and obnoxiously good-looking archeologist, you can be sure of abosultely nothing.

It's a little past ten, you’re laying in your king-size bed, a day before the actual Valentine's Day. Jimin informed you he was going to be late for dinner because of some extra paperwork he had to do in the office, so you patiently wait for him. Wrapped like a fancy Christmas gift in a new pair of flimsy, lacy lingerie you recently bought in Victoria’s Secret, all hidden underneath Jimin's baggy t-shirt (the combination of casual and slutty never fails to drive him crazy). The set is cute, in a baby pink colour. The last time you pulled a move like this, Jimin went hard, literally and lyrically.

Let's just say that Park Jimin (and his dick) likes high-quality underwear.

Dating Jimin has taught you a few things, one of them being that his sex drive is insatiable, so you always need to be prepared. That’s why you're now laying here, on your bed, freshly shaved and smelling of coconut, your precious pussy ready to be worshipped by Jimin's mouth.

When you hear the familiar jingle of keys and the door to your apartment swings open, you squeal in excitement, grabbing your phone from the nightstand to scroll through it mindlessly so you don’t come across a girl whose only purpose in life is to get dicked down by her boyfriend.

(Which, right now, is your only purpose.)

“Babe, I’m home!”

You hear Jimin pulling off his shoes and coat, so you shout back, “I’m in the bedroom!”

He seemed to be in a good mood in the morning and if nothing's changed, you're positive about getting some action tonight. A well-deserved orgasm after work it's all you crave. You squeeze your thighs, and wait.

“God, I’m so fucking exhausted.” Jimin announces upon entering the room and as soon as those words leave his mouth, he collapses face down onto the bed. His lifeless corpse smells like sweat mixed with his usual cologne and you wrinkle your nose in disgust.

And that’s on getting railed by your boyfriend tonight.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he murmurs after a moment, voice laced with tiredness. He grunts and lifts himself up to place a chaste kiss on your lips. He tastes like bitter coffee and it makes you cringe, but you kiss him back nonetheless. He pulls off too fast for your liking and nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck instead. He cuddles into your side, mumbling something about you feeling warm.

In your head, you count. When was the last time you two had sex? Right, last Tuesday. Oh boy, what a night it was. Your ass still hurts a little while sitting on a chair, a byproduct of your boyfriend's palm landing smack after smack on your cheeks. Lesson learned: never smile too broadly to the waiter who blatantly flirsts with you. You're sure the whole appartment complex heard that night who makes you feel that good

(As if they don’t already know.)

See? Park Jimin is unpredictable.

“How was work?’’ you decide to ask instead, clearing your thoughts from the inappropriate images of Jimin’s bare body pressed to yours as he fucked you that night. You thread your fingers through his blond locks just the way he likes, massaging his scalp.

He sighs, his words muffled when he speaks. “This new employee can’t do shit. I had to prepare everything before tomorrow's expedition by myself,” he says. “I have to tell Namjoon to fire his ass.”

You falter your movements for a second. Right, the expedition. You completely forgot about it. Jimin's going to be out of town for the whole day, digging in the soil in some French village the name of you cannot pronounce.

It looks like your fancy lingerie has to wait for her big premiere a little longer.

“What time are you planning to be back home?” you ask.

“Dunno. Probably late.” Jimin exhales loudly, his breath tickling your neck. His hand travels to your nude thigh, giving it a firm squeeze. You fight back a moan that threatens to spill from you mouth. You really need to get laid soon. “We set off at 6am.” he adds, tracing circles on your bare skin. Your smile drops.

So the plans for morning sex on Valentine's Day stay where they belong. In your dreams.

“You're so soft. And you smell like coconuts. I could stay like this forever.” Jimin mumbles, circling your waist with his arms and pulling you even closer to him.

You sigh, basking in this situation just for a while, stroking Jimin's hair and listening to his steady breathing until he eventually falls asleep. Still fully clothed, still with his hand on your thigh. Carefully, so you don’t wake him up, you get up from the bed to take off your underwear. You do feel a little disappointed, but it's okay.

When you settle yourself on the bed next to Jimin again, your back facing him, a strong arm pulls you flush to his body. You hear him sighing with relief, and it makes you smile to yourself.

Lights off, everything can wait for tomorrow.

In the morning, just like expected, you wake up alone. There's no sight of Jimin, his side of the bed empty and cold. For your dismay, there’s no bouquet of red roses waiting for you in the kitchen, no box of chocolates or a small, cheesy note with your name written on it. Not even a short “Happy Valentine's Day, baby!” text on your phone. Absolutely nothing.

You tells yourself it’s fine. Maybe Jimin didn’t have enough time, maybe he was too occupied with expedition to prepare something special, maybe the big surprise is yet to come. However, you can’t quite shake off the feeling that something do seem odd and it makes you anxious. Leaving without a single text is not Jimin's style. Not when it's your first Valentine's Day spend together.

You probably shouldn’t worry that much. It's not a big deal, after all you hate those types of annual holidays and Jimin knows it. Yet something about the whole situation makes you uncontrollably uneasy. You have never been like this, vulnerable and sheepish. You hate Park Jimin for turning you into such a softie.

Walking through the streets of Paris makes you feel nauseous. You look at all the happy couples sucking each others’ faces for everyone to see and fight an urge to gag. Someone shouts “Love is in the air!” and you almost throw up. Everytime you see someone holding heart-shaped balloons or flowers, you whip your head in other direction. It's nothing, you keep reminding yourself. A stupid holiday that doesn’t mean anything at all.

But the actual nail to the coffin happens to be the atmosphere in Eldorado headquarters. It drives you absolutely crazy.

It's 12am and still no word from Jimin. You checked: this bastard was online one hour ago, so he just doesn’t want to talk to you. Fine, mister. If this is how you wanna play, try sucking your dick by yourself, beacuse I’m not getting near it anytime soon, you think to yourself, filled with rage.

Yeri wiggles her pretty eyebrows at you and asks about your plans for tonight. You fake a giggle, saying that Jimin will probably surprise you with something when he gets back from his expedition. The words taste bitter on your tongue, especially when the high hopes you had simply melted away this morning. Your friend then starts babbling about the restaurant she's going to with Jungkook after work and you listen to her rant with forced smile on your face the whole time.

Meanwhile, a few meters away from you Hoseok is giggling like a teenager, typing something on his phone, without a doubt (sex)texting his girlfriend. She's out of town and you’re more than sure Hoseok hasn't gone to bathroom ten minutes ago just to take a piss. Even Namjoon is in a pleasant mood today, humming some old ABBA hits under his breath. Yesterday he couldn’t shut up about his date with a girl who’s also his new neighbour. He met her when she came by to give him homemade croissants. Ironically, that sounds a lot like some kdrama lovestory to you, and Namjoon hates kdramas.

During lunch time, you scroll through your Instagram and almost slam your phone on the wall. There's a new photo uploaded on Kim Seokjin's account.

kimseokjin92: Celebrating Valentine's Day on Maldives w @minsuga #couplegoals #boyfriends #valentinesday #loveislove

They are on fucking Maldives. Fucking Maldives! You grit your teeth. It's fine. Completely fine.

But the absolute peek, the moment when you almost break down into tears and curl yourself into a ball of misery, comes in the person of Jeon Jungkook. He enters the office with a bouquet of the most beautiful red roses you have ever seen, a huge grin plastered on his stupid face.

Your heart clenches in your chest. Park Jimin could never.

Jungkook hands Yeri the flowers and she laughs, slapping his chest when he starts declaiming Romeo's monologue from the Shakespeare’s tragedy. He then kisses his girlfriend deeply and lovingly, making her cheeks flush in crimson. Hoseok coos at them, Namjoon following him. You swear you saw Jungkook's tongue in the process of said heavy make out session.

(Jealously is an awful emotion, you've decided a long time ago.)

An hour later, the bouquet stands proudly on Yeri’s desk and you stare at it with melancholy. You briefly avert your gaze to Jimin's desk and the memories flash before your eyes. The same desk he had you bent over, skirt bunched around your waist and cock drilling into your pussy, when you both stayed together at work after hours not so long ago.

You mentally slap yourself. Get your shit together, woman. It's not like he broke up with you. It's just some stupid holiday. It's nothing.

“Something's wrong?’’ Yeri asks you with genuine concern written on her face.

You swallow, forcing yourself to smile. “No, everything's fine. Just a headache.”

She eyes you suspiciously. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” you say. Even though your friend doesn’t look convinced, she eventually stops bothering you.

It's all good. My boyfriend forgot about our first Valentine's Day together but everything's alright. No worries, you want to say instead.

Later that day, when you exit the elevator and walk straight to your apartment, a strange smell of something burning fills your nostrils. Is that food? A real fire? No, that's definitely some meat that stayed too long in the oven.

The closer you are, the smell becomes stronger, like it’s actually coming from your apartment. You furrow your eyebrows.

“What the fuck.” you mutter to yourself.

When you open the door, your jaw falls slack, eyes wide like saucers.

Never, in your entire life, had you thought you would see Park Jimin, your own dearest boyfriend, popping out from the kitchen with his hair disheveled, sweat coating his forehead, wearing a black suit underneath the most ridiculous apron you have ever seen: pink with a big-ass ‘mr good lookin is cookin' written in the middle.

(Can someone remind you why are you dating him? Oh, thank God he isn’t naked underneath.)

He looks completely lost when he spots you, waving awkwardly in your direction. It's probably the first time he touched something in the kitchen that isn’t coffee machine. He’s so flustered that you almost forget he nearly turned your apartment into ashes.

“Hi, babe.” he says sheepishly.

It takes all the willpower you hold not to spit a lung watching your boyfriend who absolutely hates cooking, trying to look unimpressed by the smell of burnt food. He does a pretty poor job though, an apron not helping in the situation.

“Happy Valentine's Day!’’ he exclaims perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, approaching you and planting a kiss on your cheek. And after that, you burst into hysterical laughter.

(Seriously, you almost lose your own breath three times.)

Jimin looks terrified but most importantly – put out. You’re probably hurting his enormous, almost the size of Russia pride right now. (Not your fault Jimin has the biggest praise kink on the planet.)

“Why are you laughing? Is it because of the chicken? Fine, I can’t cook for shit but I tried, okay? I didn’t have enough time and it was the middle of the night in Korea so I couldn’t just facetime my mum for advice and-”

You interrupt his rambling with a searing kiss, effectively shutting him up. He falters for a moment but quickly catches up, pulling you closer to him, placing his hands on your waist and deepening the kiss.

But then, when his about to trail kisses down your throat, you hit his arm.

“What was that for?!” Jimin yelps, looking at you with astonishment.

“I thought you fucking forgot about the Valentine’s Day!” you yell, slapping his chest. “Why didn't you tell me about this?!”

“Because the definition of surprise says you can’t reveal it sooner?” he reponds in a mocking tone.

“Oh, shut up.” you grumble and pull him in for another kiss. You could feel him smiling into it, cheekily biting onto your lower lip. He places a loving peck on your forehead and brushes the strands of your hair behind your ears. There's so much affection in his eyes you could melt into a puddle right here and there.

“I’m sorry. Jungkook told me you looked upset the whole day.” he whispers.

“I wasn't!” you protest.

“He told me you almost cried when he gave Yeri a bouquet of red roses.”

This stupid brat.

You look up at Jimin. “Fine. I was mad. And sad. Everyone was having the time of their lives and here I was, on a verge of mental breakdown because my idiot of a boyfriend supposedly forgot about the Valentine's Day.” you say, crossing your arms over chest with a pout.

Jimin rolls his eyes and takes your hand, leading you to the living room, where a bottle of (your absolute favourite) wine is standing on the table, along with candles and, yes, red roses. It's too cheesy and straight from the cringy rom-coms but you don't mind, because it's Jimin and he poured his heart into this and it's all that matters.

When he approaches you again, he isn’t wearing that stupid apron and you blush at how perfect he looks, almost painfully handsome. His hair needs a cut so it’s pushed back from his forehead. God reincarnated in the form of a smart, cocky archeologist who happens to be your boyfriend.

You're, well, in your black jeans and baby blue sweater and you probably stink, but Jimin assures you with his loving touches he doesn’t mind, never will. He always does that, looking at you with those sparkling eyes which say you're the most beautiful thing in the world for him.

And it doesn't matter how many times you scold him throughout the day, how many banters you have over silly things, because at the end of the day, in each others’ embraces, it feels like home for the both of you.

“Since the chicken chickened out,” Jimin says nonchalantly, filling your glasses with red wine. “We can always get drunk and watch some old romantic movies.”

You smirk. “You cried the last time when we watched ‘When Harry met Sally’.”

Jimin clicks his tongue. “Don't test my patience, sweetheart or you won't get the presents.” he warns.

You raise your eyebrows. You hope one of them comes in the form of his dick. Suddenly, you’re reminded of your lingerie set, so you make a mental note to wear it after the shower. “Can I see those presents now?” you ask, looking at Jimin with pleading eyes. It's exactly three seconds till he softens.

“Fine.” he mutters and heads to the bedroom.

When he comes back, he’s not alone. Literally not alone, because he's caring the most hilarious Valentine’s present you could ever think of. A giant, white teddy bear, almost in the size of him, heart-shaped balloons attached to his right paw.

“This is,” Jimin whips his head to read the name on the bear's chest. “Ted.”

You blink. “You bought me a teddy bear named Ted?”

Jimin opens his mouth to say some witty comment but he stops when he hears you sob. “Baby, sweetheart, what's wrong?” He kneels in front of you, the bear long forgotten on the floor. You burst into tears and Jimin tries to calm you down, rubbing soothing circles on your thighs.

Once you eventually stop crying and regain your normal breathing, you wipe your tear-strained cheeks and look down at your very much worried boyfriend. “You are an idiot, Park Jimin. A fucking idiot. That teddy bear is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen and I should humiliate you for giving me that but...” You take a deep breath. “But I can’t. Because I fucking love you, dumbass.”

The corners of Jimin lips lift in amusement but you’re clearly not done with your little speech, so he waits until you finish. “You organized the most cliché date ever. You read all the Grey's books. You can’t cook for shit and this stupid apron you wore? God have mercy,” You visibly cringe. “You declaim Greek philosophers when you shower. Fuck, you persuaded me to do teacher-student roleplay and I kept calling you daddy during the whole thing because you asked me to. You are everything I despise but at the same time I love you so much,” you say, tears once again welling in your eyes. “I’m sorry I’m telling you this now, even though I've realised this a long time ago.”

Jimin’s silent, so unlike him, declaring his emotions with a huge grin this time. He stands up and picks your body into his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist as he walks you both to your bedroom. He places you gingerly onto the mattress, hovering over your figure.

(Your fancy lingerie can wait for another occasion.)

“I love you too, ___.” he says, staring into your eyes. “You’re making me the happiest man in this world.”

You roll your eyes, however there’s no use for that because your cheeks are already tainted red. “Oh, stop being such a sap.”

He smirks. “You love when I’m like this.”

“That is, in fact, not true.”

You’re lying and he knows it, but he always lets you banter with him like this anyway.

“Then what do you want me to be today?” he asks, his hands travel down to your zipper, then pull down your jeans. “Sweet? Loving?” He helps you take off your sweater and you’re left with nothing on beside your underwear. “Or do you want me to be rough? Push you around and fuck you stupid?” You gulp, your attitude successfully shut down. “Come on, use your words.”

Somehow, you manage to gain your composure. “Want you to take off your clothes first.”

Jimin chuckles, lowly and with a promise of more to come if you’re patient and behaving well, according to his commands. “You’re not the one to give orders here, baby.” he retorts. Then, he’s gripping your knees, pulling your legs apart and putting your pussy on full display for him.

There’s already a dark, wet patch forming on your grey panties and he tsks disapprovingly. “You’re wet and I haven’t even touched you yet. You want it that much, huh?”

You nod. “Please, touch me.”

“Try again.”

So he’s in that mood today. You’ve explored a fair share of kinks with Jimin so far and what you know for sure is that he always takes the leading role in bed. He likes to dominate, be the one in charge, railing you into the mattress until you’re crying out so loud your neighbours are banging on your walls.

You slip into your role naturally, your usual confident behaviour gone and replaced with timidity. He relishes in seeing you like this, helpless and vulnerable, a stark contrast to how you act on daily basis.

Jimin pins you with his dark stare and you give in. ‘”Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

He rewards you with a feather-like touch of his fingers on your pussy. He finds your clit with ease, rubbing it with practiced strokes until more juices drip down from your hole, wetting your panties embarrassingly fast. Your legs shake with want for more, to feel him sink his digits knuckle-deep into your cunt and finger you like he did that one time in a bathroom on your flight to Japan.

He doesn’t seem the slightest bothered with your state, ignoring your pleading eyes and wanton moans. He hasn’t even taken off your underwear yet and you’re already on the verge of an orgasm.

Jimin knows your body inside and out, probably better than you do, so it doesn’t come as a surprise to you that he can sense when you’re about to climax. He withdraws his hand from your center seconds before your release. You can’t help but huff with annoyance.

“Something's wrong, babygirl?” he asks, saccharine-sweet and annoyingly innocent.

Your retort dies on your tongue the moment he decides to unbutton his white dress shirt. You’re too distracted with delicious lines of his sculpted chest to complain about your denied pleasure anymore. Your hands itch to touch him but you stay immobile, devouring him with your eyes instead.

Jimin notices you're staring and smirks. “Like what you see?”

You nod. “Yes, sir.”

He then stands up from the bed and motions for you to come closer. You oblige without an ounce of confusion, crawling until you’re sitting on your heels in front of him. It’s a rather humiliating position but you can’t help but feel the rush of adrenaline in your veins when he cups your chin and tilts your head up.

“Take off my pants.”

You rush to obey, unbuckling his belt with shaky hands because you know what’s coming next once his pants are pulled down. He’s already hard, the prominent bulge of his cock straining in his briefs.

“Now my underwear.”

You nearly moan out loud when his cock slaps his abdomen, mouth salivating to take him in deep but you don’t dare touch him without a directed instruction. He makes sure your eyes are on him and starts stroking himself, spreading the precum all over his length, hissing when his thumb rubs the sensitive head of his cock.

Jimin groans, low and throaty, and you whimper quietly in response. “What, baby? You want my cock that much?” he asks, his left palm cupping your cheek. You whisper a meek “Please” and he chuckles. “Come on then. Show me what that slutty mouth of yours can do. Open up.”

Your lips part on command and you nearly moan when he guides his cock into your mouth. You’ve sucked Jimin's dick enough times to know what he likes, what brings him to the edge quicker than hitting the back of your throat. You lick the tip of his cock, eyes darting to check his reaction and, just as you expected, his features twist in pleasure.

You relish in a minute or two of the control you have over him before he grows bored with your teasing and decides to fuck your mouth instead. But for now, you make sure to have him suffer a little for that stunt he pulled earlier when he didn’t make you come.

You take him deeper, hollowing your cheeks for extra stimulation. Your hands reach to fondle his balls and you smirk around his cock when you hear a groan leave Jimin's mouth. “Good girl,” he murmurs, stroking your cheek. You lean into his touch, moaning at the praise. “My pretty slut.”

The first hit on the back of your throat makes you gag because fuck, is he big. The only thing bigger than Jimin's ego seems to be his dick, apparently. When he threads fis fingers through your hair you know what’s about to come; jaw relaxed, saliva dripping down from the corners of your mouth, you’re ready to be ruined.

He withdraws, giving you exactly five seconds to breathe and then pushes forcefully inside. Your mind is filled with mental images of him giving your pussy the same treatment later. You would whimper at the thought, if your mouth wasn’t stuffed full of dick. Instead, you give your best, swallowing every inch of him obediently.

“That’s it,” he rasps, clamping one hand on the back of your neck for better leverage. “You’re doing so good, baby.” When he nudges the back of your throat again, you feel him throb. He pulls away from the warmth of your mouth seconds later, panting heavily. He falls back onto the bed and pats his thighs. “Come here.”

You scoot closer to him and crawl onto his lap. He smiles at you from below, pulling you in for a kiss. The hands he previously gripped your waist with now travel upwards, unhooking your bra. Your hips unconsciously move, pussy gliding along the flexed muscles of his thigh.

Jimin notices your desperate attempt at getting some friction on your most sensitive parts and helps you rock your hips. He moves your panties to the side and you moan, felling the delicious pressure on your bare center. He’s watching with amusement as you’re falling apart on his thigh, thumb reaching to rub your clit. You cry out, climaxing so hard you’re almost seeing stars behind your closed eyelids.

He keeps helping you ride out your high until you’re whimpering from the overstimulation. “Did you like it?” he then asks, urging you to look at him. “You were so desperate to come, sweetheart. Fucking yourself on my thigh like a bitch in heat,” You whine instead of responding, earning a harsh smack on your ass. “Use your words.”

Another slap lands on your cheek and you mewl. “Yes, I loved it, sir.”

He chuckles, maneuvering your body so you’re now positioned over his cock. He gives your ass a firm squeeze and you whimper, arousal dripping down the inside of your thighs despite orgasming just minutes ago. “Ride me, baby.” he says.

You hurry to obey, guiding his cock inside you. It's a tight fit but your wetness makes it smoother to push him deeper. “So big,” you mumble, bottoming out. You know damn well Jimin likes to be praised and if the smirk that stretches on his lips is anything to go by, he enjoys what you just said. “That feels so good, sir.” You start moving your hips languidly.

“Yeah?” Jimin quips, hands gripping your waist so tightly it almost makes the skin bruise. “Then show me what a good girl you are for me. Fuck, look at you. You’re so hot.” His palms cup your breasts, thumbs stroking your nipples.

You keen at the praise and quicken your pace. Your thighs start to burn but you ignore that, bouncing on your boyfriend’s dick like there’s no tomorrow. The room is filled with lewd noises, skin slapping on skin. Jimin looks down, staring at his cock coated in your juices as it disappears inside your hole. He curses at the sight.

Your legs start to shake, huffs leaving your lips. “Sir–please,” you whine, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge.

“What do you need, babygirl?” he asks, pinching your nipples. You squeal, your pace losing its previous rhythm.

“I’m so close.” you stammer. “Please–touch me.”

“Where you do you want me to touch you, baby?” He ignores your whimpers, the way your pussy keeps squeezing his cock in a vice grip. “Here?” He touches your tits again and you shake your head violently. “Or here–” His fingers find your clit and you cry out loudly. You feel so full, his cock hits your cervix every time you drop down onto him.

“Yes, yes,” you chant, mouth wide open and eyes squeezed shut. You probably look right now like a professional porn star but you couldn’t care less, not when you’re so close to the climax. “Sir–fuckfuckfuck, please!”

“There you go,” Jimin coos, circling your sensitive bud with his thumb. “Come for me, baby.”

You’re gushing around his dick, arousal leaking out of your hole and coating his thighs with your release. Your upper body gives out and you collapse onto Jimin, your cunt pulsing from the intense pleasure you’ve just experienced.

“Oh god,” you mumble. “I just saw the answer to the whole universe.”

You feel Jimin's chest shaking with laughter and when you look up, you find him grinning at you. “That good?”

“That good.” you confirm, sighing tiredly.

“Are you okay?” You hear him asking. No matter how much he likes to push you around and fuck until you’re seeing stars, he always makes sure if you’re feeling comfortable to continue.

You spare him a nod. “You know I can handle it,” you say, lifting yourself up. “I’m a tough girl, right?” Despite the oversensitivity, you start rocking your hips again. “M-made for you.”

Jimin smirks. “Yeah, made for me,” he confirms and slaps your ass. Your pussy flatters around his cock. “Not like this,” he mutters and turns you onto your back with one, swift motion. “Much better.”

You pout. “You didn’t like it when I was riding your cock, sir?” You’re bluffing, but a girl can her fun too.

He clicks his tongue, guiding his cock through your folds again. “Oh, baby, I was enjoying it very much,” he says, picking up his speed. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him even closer. “But now I want it harder.”

He fucks you just like he likes the most; fast and rough, unforgiving. He leans down for a messy kiss that’s all teeth tongue and his eyes nearly bulge out of his head when he sees his saliva dripping down your chin.

(He decides right here and there that he might wanna explore his newfound fantasy soon.)

Soon you’re feeling the coil in your stomach tightening for the second time, embarrassingly quickly so. You moan, cunt squeezing around his dick. “Again?” Jimin asks, voice laced with both mirth and disbelief. Tears well in your eyes and you give him a nod. “Such a fucking slut.” he spits, slithering himself into you even faster than before.

Your third and final orgasm is so powerful and sudden, it nearly makes you black out. Jimin curses, fucking you through it. “Kiss me,” you whimper deliriously and he obliges, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. “I love you.” you whisper into his lips and that’s what sends him over the edge.

“I love you, I love you–fuck.” he groans and spills himself inside, coating your pussy with his seed.

He collapses next you, chest heaving with every exhale. Your legs feel like jelly and you know you’ll have trouble walking tomorrow. Just when you’re about to tell Jimin to call in sick and spend the whole day in bed instead, he suddenly sits up.

“Wait, I forgot I have another present for us.” he says, rushing to pick something up from underneath the bed.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Jimin, I swear to God, if you bought us matching t-shirts–”

He grins like a child, showing you two white pillows, the most basic ones you could ever think of, with ‘his side’ and ‘her side' written on them. It's cringy and ridiculous and you fight an urge to punch him, but you don't.

Because it's Jimin and you will never complain about it.

Because you love him. And that's all that matters.

#jimin smut #btsbookclub #btswritingcafe #ksmutclub #btswriterscollective #bangtanarmynet #smutcentralnet #bangtanhq #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin fluff #bts smut #my writing

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angellesword · 4 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (02)

➭ You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively;

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, unrequited love, heavy angst, fluff, lawyer au.

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

SERIES: CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 3

"Please, Joon. I just need to know if he's okay..."

Namjoon scratched the back of his head while looking at Red. The latter was practically begging him to spill things he's been forbidden to utter. He was sure he's just seconds away from telling her what she wanted to know, but then he's abruptly reminded of how heartbroken Jungkook was.

"Don't tell her I'm here," tears painted Jungkook's cheeks. "I don't want to see her. Not now." Or ever...

"He's not here, Red. I'm sorry," Namjoon sighed, trying to close the front door of his small apartment; regrettably, Red stopped him before the door shut in her sad face."I know he doesn't want to see me." She said with a shaky voice—causing Namjoon to purse his lips into a thin line.

"Right." He couldn't help but say. She deserved the snarky remark for hurting Jungkook beyond repair.

"But I'm worried about him. H-He was...so mad when he left."

'Who wouldn't?' Namjoon wanted to say, yet he kept his lips glued together. He needed to remind himself that although she hurt Jungkook, Red was still his friend.

"I'm sure he'll be fine wherever he is." Namjoon's caught Red's eyes. "Jungkook is strong, you know."

"I know." She looked at her feet; this caused the man inside the house to also look down. Namjoon was so busy shooing Red away that he didn't notice a big box on the ground. Judging by the looks of it, he deduced that this box belonged to Jungkook. The tower of sketchpads and other art materials was already a giveaway.

"Can you give this to him, though? I'm not sure when I'll get to see him again, and I know he can't live without this stuff, so..." Red picked up the box. "Please, Joonie..." She added when the older boy didn't say anything.

"Fine."

In the end, Namjoon gave in. He didn't have a choice. This was the only way to make her leave; however, he instantly regretted his decision when he spotted Jungkook sitting on the couch."What did she say?" Jungkook inquired eagerly; his eyes flew on the box that's juggling in Namjoon's arms. Jungkook saw his friend trip over a non-existent stone.

Namjoon was really clumsy.

"She wants me to give this to you." The older boy handed the box to Jungkook in exchange for his precious daughter.

"Ji-eun..." Namjoon cooed, bopping the nose of his three-year-old child. Ji-eun chuckled; her little finger was poking her father's deep dimple.

"Appa!" Ji-eun's eyes twinkled. She missed being in her father's embrace even though it hadn't been long since Namjoon left her with Jungkook.

Ji-eun couldn't help it. Jungkook used to be the fun uncle, but all he did now was cry and snort. Admittedly, she's getting tired of wiping his tears every second.

She wondered who made uncle Jungkook cry.

"Huh." Jungkook huffed as he examined what was inside the box. Namjoon was right. It's full of the younger boy's stuff.

"Is she really so eager to kick me out of the house that she personally brought my things here!?"Jungkook was seeing red. Profanities left his lips as acid dripped down his stomach. He's so mad at his ex.

"Language, Jeon," Namjoon warned, turning away from Jungkook. He couldn't let Ji-eun listen to the younger boy's dirty mouth. "Besides, you're the one who left."

Jungkook didn't know how to respond to that, mainly because Namjoon was correct. He was the one who left in the middle of the fight. In his defense, he was hurt. What Red was saying was too much for him—it was painful, the kind of pain he knew would forever haunt him.

"I love him, Kook."

Red's confession echoed in Jungkook's mind again. Red told him she loved her soulmate. Jungkook didn't want to believe her because how? How could she fall in love with another man just by looking at him in the eyes?

"We've been seeing each other for months now."

His question had been answered. Red was a cheater, and it's the last straw for Jungkook. He couldn't take it anymore, so he stood up.

"I hate you, bitch!"

The pain that crossed Red's face indicated that Jungkook had gone too far. He didn't mean it, but he's hurt, and this was the only way he could hurt her back.

Before Red could say anything, Jungkook was already out of the door.

It's two am in the morning. Jungkook was certain that the only awake person that he could bother right now was none other than Namjoon, his brother-in-law.

Thankfully, Namjoon's apartment was just a few blocks away from Red's home.

"Kook?" Namjoon squinted his eyes after opening the door. He's been awake for straight twenty-seven hours to the point that he couldn't tell if Jungkook was really in front of him or if he's just hallucinating.

"Hyung..." Jungkook broke into tears upon seeing his only family.

Namjoon let the crying boy inside his house.

"I ran out of tea..." This was Namjoon's excuse when he handed Jungkook Ji-eun's milk. Namjoon didn't even have time to buy his groceries since his daughter occupied most of his time.

Fortunately, it looked like Jungkook didn't give two fucks as he was already halfway finished drinking the warm milk.

It's been exactly fifteen minutes since the younger boy came knocking on Namjoon's humble abode. Jungkook had stopped crying, though he still looked a little shaken.

"Red found her soulmate..." Jungkook spoke right before Namjoon could ask what happened. Suddenly, the older boy found himself biting his bottom lip. He didn't want to pry about Jungkook's life, but then he's reminded of the wish of Hye-Jin, his late wife.

"Take care of my brother, Joon..."

"D-Do you wanna talk about it?" Namjoon asked before he changed his mind. This was the only thing he could do for Hye-Jin.

"What's there to talk about?" Jungkook hissed even though he's the one who started telling Namjoon things. The latter kept his head low. In times like this, he wasn't sure what to say.

It's not like he's better than Red. Namjoon also broke up with the woman he was dating right after meeting Hye-Jin. The only difference was that Namjoon's ex perfectly understood the situation. She knew that they weren't destined to be together.

"She cheated on me. She said she's in love with her soulmate." The bitter taste in Jungkook's mouth was still there. It only strengthened as soon as the word 'soulmate' left his lips. Jungkook continued pouring his heart out to Namjoon despite saying he didn't want to talk about it.

"She's going to regret leaving me. No one can love her the way I do!" Jungkook swore, but Namjoon's almost 100% sure he's wrong.

Seeing colors were different. It felt like everything was perfect. Namjoon couldn't deny that one of the many reasons he fell in love with Hye-Jin was because she helped him see the wonderful hues.

It's like the more he fell in love with her, the brighter the colors became. Even now that she's dead, Namjoon could still see colors. Granted that it kind of faded, it's still the best thing Namjoon was proud to experience.

The rule of the world was simple. As long as your soulmate was in love with you, the colors would always be visible in your very eyes. It would only become less bright if your soulmate died. However, the case of a one-sided love was different. People wouldn't be able to see colors if their soulmates didn't give them their hearts.

Some said that there were cases wherein people went blind when their soulmates started to hate them. Namjoon and Jungkook didn't know if it was true or just a myth. After all, they hadn't encountered people who apparently 'went' blind because of the mentioned reason."I'm telling you, hyung. She'll come to see me soon."

Jungkook was right. Two weeks after their fight, Red showed up. Unfortunately, it's not to beg her ex to come back. She only returned a box full of his stuff, a clear sign that she's officially kicking him out of their shared apartment.

"How can she do this to me? It's my house too!" Said Jungkook nine days after Red's appearance in front of Namjoon's apartment, it finally dawned to him that his ex was no longer a part of his life.

It's really over.

Jungkook realized this while staring dumbly at his ruined sketchpads. Ji-eun accidentally spilled a glass of water on her uncle's drawing.

The mixture of pain, anger, and frustration caused Jungkook to scream. He couldn't possibly be mad at a three-year-old kid; that's why he just directed his negative emotions to the fact that Red practically kicked him out of their home—his home.

He was aware that Red's name was written in the lease contract, but Jungkook paid this year's rental fee. He's broke at the moment. This being the case, Jungkook swallowed his pride to come to live with his brother-in-law. The thing was, it's getting hard for him to stay there. Namjoon had only one room, so Jungkook slept on the couch—wait, this wasn't about right. Jungkook didn't even get to sleep. Ji-eun's cries wouldn't allow him to do so. Aside from this, the little kid had also ruined her uncle's drawings countless times now.

"Seriously, Kook. You need to move out of your brother-in-law's house." Taehyung pouted his lips.

Jungkook couldn't decide if he could take his friend's advice seriously, at least not when Taehyung's tongue was basically down Jimin's throat.

"I can't afford to lease a new place." Jungkook scrunched his nose, eyes still focused on the disgusting public display of affection in front of him. "I only have forty dollars in my bank account."

"Oh, you poor thing." Jimin slightly pushed his boyfriend's chest to dodge his kisses and to be able to look at Jungkook.

Jungkook snorted. He didn't want to be babied, especially not by Park Jimin, who he met just a few months back.

Park Jimin was Taehyung's real soulmate. It was still weird seeing them together. All his life, Jungkook believed that Taehyung, his childhood best friend, was a straight man. Taehyung dated a lot of women before; he also seemed to enjoy being with them.

This was one of the reasons why Jungkook hated the idea of a soulmate. It was a complete bull. It was unfair to let fate decide who you'll end up with. Jungkook witnessed Taehyung's struggle after meeting Jimin. He was happy that he could finally see colors and that it didn't take him long to like Jimin, but Taehyung was so confused.

Like Jungkook, Taehyung also thought he was straight, but then his world suddenly turned upside down. Before he knew it, Taehyung was crying. He was too overwhelmed with what was happening, and Jungkook hated it. The latter didn't care about genders; he supported those who didn't identify themselves as heterosexual. Jungkook hated that people had to limit what they thought their gender was just because of the concept of soulmate. Again, it was not fair.

"But I can help you..." Jimin added as he took a bite of his frozen yogurt. They were currently inside of an ice cream shop. Jungkook had to get out of Namjoon's home since it was getting hard to look at his ruined works. He called his best friend to help him destress. Jungkook just had to let his frustrations out. Luckily, Taehyung and Jimin were more than happy to treat their younger friend some frozen yogurts. Jungkook ordered three of the said dessert.

"No, Jimin." Taehyung said as if he'd read his boyfriend's mind. "Jungkookie isn't going to suck your dick for money."

"Aw." Jimin's lips protruded into a sulky pout, making Jungkook roll his eyes. Sometimes he couldn't believe the couple's relationship. Jungkook knew that Jimin was only joking, but Jungkook thought he couldn't let the love of his life think about someone else's body. He was pretty possessive.

"We can call Yoongi-hyung, though. I think he's in the mood for some dicks—"

"Guys!" Jungkook groaned, cutting them off. His eyes were widening too. "Can we stop talking about dicks for five seconds? I have a serious problem here."

"Oh, right!" Jimin's eyes lit up. He also cleared his throat—an action that made Jungkook sigh in relief; at least he's getting serious now. "You need to find a roommate, Kook. Lucky for you, I have a friend who's looking for a housemate. I think she could cut you off some slack."

The younger boy's scoff was almost instant. "Cut me off some slack?" He narrowed his eyes at Jimin. "I don't want to owe anything to anyone. You know that."

Jimin shrugged his shoulders, taking another bite of his frozen yogurt. "It's not like that. You'll actually be the one doing her a favor. She's in dire need of a roommate, Kook. She wouldn't mind if you couldn't pay rent right now, as long as you're willing to keep the house clean and look after her cat. You can do that, right?"

Of course, Jungkook could. He was an artist; he spent most of his time inside his home, silently drawing whatever came into his mind.

"Huh." Jungkook was still skeptical. "Can't she just hire a maid?"

"Wish it was that easy. She's a mess. Not even her maids can tolerate her shit. Besides, her cat is a total bitch. She scratches anyone that's not her owner."

"I'm not sure..." Jungkook scowled. He wasn't sure if he could live with a stranger. Jungkook was a shy boy; it actually took him a long time to even say 'hello' to Jimin.

"Just think about it, Jungkook..." Jimin smiled warmly at the younger boy. "I swear she's a decent person. Yes, she's messy, but aside from that, she's fine. She doesn't pry on anyone's life; she's quiet, just like you, and oh! She likes banana milk too! I swear, Kook. You'll like her!"

For some reason, Jungkook's heart skipped a beat. He knew Jimin was kind, he's the type of person who always talked about the good qualities of a certain someone, but this was the first time he spoke about someone with such passion.

Jimin continued to talk about you, his lovely best friend. If you could hear him right now, you were sure you'd end up crying. Jimin was indeed the best friend you could ask. He's fiercely loyal.

"It's true, Kook. You'll love her." Taehyung talked about you with the same intensity. He had met you, and he instantly fell in love with you. You were smart and witty.

The couple continued sharing things they loved about you. Jungkook swore he's not easy to convince. The only acceptable reason why he's standing in front of your apartment was that Taehyung and his boyfriend knew the magic of words. They had done an excellent job convincing him.

Jungkook let out an exasperated breath when you still didn't answer the door after his ninth attempt to knock. Truthfully, he was getting pissed off.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.

Just as when he was about to leave, the door suddenly opened with so much force. Jungkook was startled.

"I'm sorry, I was in the shower. I swear I heard you the first time you knocked, but I was panicking, so I slipped down the floor, and I..." You ran your hand through your wet hair, eyes widening when you saw your fingers covered in soap suds.

"Oh, my God!" You were panicking again. This time, you finally looked at Jungkook to see his reaction.

You were rambling about how this whole situation was so embarrassing, but Jungkook wasn't listening anymore. How could he focus on anything when his heart was beating this fast? Jungkook was pissed before he met your eyes, right now; the irritation he felt was rapidly boiling down to panic when he realized what was happening.

Colors.

Jungkook was used to seeing black and white, so imagine his confusion when the colors suddenly became visible in his eyes.

Nothing made sense to him, but one thing's for sure.

Jungkook had found his soulmate.

982 notes · View notes

eternally-writing · 3 years

Text

BTS reaction: you having a loud sneeze

genre: fluff

warnings: no warnings

word count: 2.2k total

this was a request from @chimmyddimini that you can read here! Hope you enjoy ♡♡

Jungkook

You and Jungkook had been dating for just over 3 months now, and you knew this was about the time that couples started to learn a lot more about each other, maybe the parts they were too shy to mention in the first place. You had managed to successfully hide your abnormally loud sneezes from Jungkook the whole time you were dating, until now.

*achoo*

Your eyes widened at the realization that this was the first time you’d ever sneezed in front of him.

“Uh- that was my ringtone from um, my phone. I’m just getting a call now, I’ll - uh- go take this outside”

Seeing right through your very ineffective lie, Jungkook began to laugh and held onto your wrist to prevent you from running away from him.

“Nun-uh, Y/N baby, you’re not going anywhere. Your sneezes are cute! I didn’t even know sounds that loud could come from your tiny body!”

Your cheeks started turning red both due to embarrassment and his overly sweet words.

“It’s embarrassing” you mumbled as you turned your head away from him.

Taking your head in his hands, Jungkook turned you to look him in the eye.

“It’s adorable babygirl,” he said as he pinched your cheeks. “If you wanna see something embarrassing, I can show you my collection of iron man plushies”

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Taehyung

“Did… did you just make that noise Y/N??”

Thoroughly embarrassed, you cowered into your oversized sweatshirt, shaking your head in denial as you try to suppress another sneeze.

*achoo*

You swore you could see your empty mug of coffee on your nightstand rattle due to the noise. There was no denying it now - Taehyung’s jaw dropped as he heard the loud sneeze leave your mouth.

“Just as I thought! We must be soulmates,” exclaimed Taehyung in excitement.

“What are you talking about Tae?” you said as you grabbed the box of tissues from your nightstand.

As if he was a magician about to put on a show, Taehyung dramatically pulled a feather out of your pillow and started to wiggle it underneath his nose. Within seconds, there was an equally loud sneeze ringing through your apartment, except this one was from Taehyung.

You both then erupted into a fit of giggles like schoolchildren as you both fell back onto your duvet in laughter.

You and Taehyung never had a ton in common (just like they say, opposites attract), so you were both pleasantly surprised at the commonality of your sneezes.

Taehyung went on and on about how he was so excited to show the boys next time you all hung out, and how he swears there’s some sort of Guinness world record for the world's loudest sneeze that you both should try to beat. Spooning himself onto your body, Taehyung held his arms on your waist.

“Who knew such a big sound could come out of your tiny body Y/N?”

He pulled you into his chest as you giggled, trying to squirm out of his hold so you could playfully hit his chest.

“Just you and me and our loud sneezes together forever, baby”

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Jimin

After Jimin repeatedly calling you and telling you how much he missed you while he was on tour, you had finally cleared your schedule for a weekend to visit him while he was performing in Chicago. You had it all planned out so you would surprise him with the help of the other boys, but that all seemed to go out the window as you let out a loud sneeze while hiding behind a dressing room curtain.

Jimin, who was just at the threshold of the room, began to turn away in fear as he heard the noise.

“Hyung!! There’s someone in our dressing room. I heard a loud noise and it was so scary.”

Namjoon, being the fearless leader he is (and also because he knew it was just you in the dressing room), escorted Jimin back into the room.

“See Jimin? There’s nothing here”

Pulling Namjoon closer to him, Jimin gestured for Jungkook to move the curtain that you were hiding behind, swearing that the sound he heard came from there.

Before Jungkook could take your big surprise moment away from you, you popped your head out from behind the curtain.

“Y/N!”

All Jimin’s previous worries had faded away as he saw your face shining in front of you. Jimin pulled you into a tight embrace, simply enjoying your presence. After spending time whispering his “I love you” and “i miss you’s”, he suddenly pulled back once he made a realization.

“So that sneezing sound… was you?”

You don’t know how he hadn’t noticed it before, but you quickly owned up to it, smiling sheepishly and begging for him not to tell the other members. Any embarrassment you had about your sneeze were clouded by the feeling of euphoria you had from being reunited with Jimin.

“It’s cute babe, I love it! I love all of you, so much.”

Picking you up in his hold and taking you to the small couch in his room, Jimin placed you on his lap and kissed your forehead.

“Who knew such a big sound could come out of your tiny body Y/N?” he joked with a chuckle.

“Oh shush, Jimin, I missed you”

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Hoseok

“Hobiiii I’m tired”

You and Hoseok had just attended the opening party for Hybe’s new building, and after drinking one too many celebratory shots of soju, you were now half-dazed on the couch in Hoseok’s studio, waiting for him to finish putting the “burst of inspiration” he had during the party into a new track.

“I’m almost done babygirl, just wait a couple more minutes for me”

What Hoseok didn't know yet, and was about to find out, was that when you were tired you sneezed. It was weird, and you didn’t really have any way to explain it, especially since your sneezes were loud.

*achoo*

“Y/N.. that was your sneeze?”

“Yes Hobi, I’m tired and I sneeze because I’m so sleepyyyy,” you mumbled on the couch, trying to cuddle with a pillow he had on his couch.

Taking in your sweet, sleepy form, Hoseok went over to join you on the couch. He sat on the couch and laid your head on his lap, stroking it gently.

“Maybe I can put one of your sneezes in my track babe… like right when the beat drops, hmm?” I think it’ll fit”

You giggled as you stared up at your impeccable, attractive boyfriend. Booping his nose with your finger, you smiled and said “You’re being silly Hobi.”

He bent down to kiss your nose in sweet retaliation and laughed along with you. “Yes I am baby, I gotta joke around a little bit with my girl. Now come on, let’s get you home before you pass out on my couch.”

Easily allowing your tiny body to be picked up by Hoseok’s hold, you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out one last sneeze into your elbow.

“Oh Y/N, I love you,” he laughed as he carried you all the way home.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Yoongi

“Can you pass the popcorn, babygirl,” said Yoongi who was cuddled next to you on the couch. It was movie night with you and the boys and you were all watching Avengers: Endgame (at Jungkook’s request) and you were buried under blankets next to your boyfriend. All of a sudden, you had the need to sneeze. You tried all your tricks to stop your sneeze from coming out, looking at the light fixtures, swallowing, pinching your nose - but nothing seemed to stop your sneeze from making an appearance.

*achoo*

It seemed that fate was on your side today, as the action sequence in the movie had ramped up so none of the boys aside from Yoongi had noticed. Regardless, your face was turning beet red in the aftermath of the event.

Leaning over to whisper in your ear, Yoongi couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped his mouth.

“That was quite the sneeze hey princess?”

You shot Yoongi a glare that was mixed with embarrassment and playfulness.

“Don’t be shy baby, I like it! We all have random things like that”

“Oh yeah, what’s wrong with you Mr. Perfect.”

Gesturing for you to listen carefully, Yoongi began to lift his arm up 180 degrees until it was right above his head. At the same time, you heard three very distinct, unnerving, cracking, and popping sounds come from his body.

Unable to hide the way your body shuddered, Yoongi laughed (much to the dismay of Jungkook who was attentively watching the movie). He pulled you into his lap and brought your lips close to his ear.

“Me and you babe, we’re always going to be perfectly imperfect.”

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Seokjin

Jin was off in the kitchen making dinner while you were sending off some last-minute emails in your bedroom. As a loose piece of fluff from your pillow floated by your nose, you couldn’t help but let out a very loud sneeze.

*achoo*

You were silently praying that the walls of your apartment were enough to stop the sound of your sneezes from reaching Jin’s ears, but unfortunately, you weren’t so lucky.

“Y/N, is Taehyung at the door? I swear I just heard him.”

Oh god. You knew your sneezes were loud but Taehyung-level loud? You were never going to live this down.

With your ears tinged red, you made your way to the front door just to double-check that tae was nowhere to be found (you didn’t consider calling him and telling him to rush over to your apartment to save you from embarrassment). Instead, you just had to tell Jin that there was nobody at the door.

“Are you sure? I swear I heard his sneeze. I must be going crazy or something to just be hearing him like that”

Your mom had always taught you that lies always only caused you more trouble, so you decided that now was as good a time as ever to come clean to Jin

“Actually, Jin... that sneeze was me”

You could hear the sound of the chopsticks Jin was holding dropping into a metal pot as he was shocked.

“No way, I don’t believe you.”

Of course he didn’t. I mean who would believe that such a roaring sneeze could come out of your tiny body. Jin wanted proof, and he decided that taking some of the flour from the kitchen and sprinkling it in the air was the best way to do so. Running up to you as a white cloud of flour surrounded you, he had a silly grin.

*achoo*

Jin gasped in recognition that the sneezes were in fact from you.

“My pretty little Y/N has the biggest sneezes, I love it!,” he exclaimed as he peppered your face with kisses.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Namjoon

You and Namjoon were together working on his bike in the garage as you let out a sneeze.

*achoo*

The sound managed to knock Namjoon off his balance as he fell backward, thanking the heavens he had decided to put a rug down in his garage.

“Y/N was that… was that sound from you?”

You froze as you were embarrassed with his inquiry.

“Um yeah, I guess my sneezes are a little loud?” you said with your focus still on the bike in front of you.

Namjoon couldn’t stop a hearty chuckle from escaping him.

You turned to him and began to pout.

“Joonie, don’t be meannnnn”

“Awe, my baby, I’m sorry. It’s just adorable,” he crooned as he wrapped your arms around you in a back hug.

You weren’t giving in so easily, and decided to still give him the silent treatment.

“Babyyyy,” he whined “it’s nothing to be embarrassed about!! If anyone should be embarrassed here it’s me - I’m the one who’s asking my girlfriend to help fix my bike so we can go on a date just because I can’t drive”

He peppered kisses across your neck and face in an attempt to win your heart over.

“Hmm, Joon I’ll forgive you on one condition”

Playing into your dramatics, Namjoon spun you around with a flourish you face him.

“Anything you want baby, I’d walk to the ends of the earth for you”

Looking at him with your doe eyes that you knew he couldn’t resist (you had learned this trick from Jungkook when you first started dating), you began to speak.

“Can we get ice cream today?”

Namjoon laughed, and this time you laughed along with him.

“Of course baby, I’m sure your big sneezes take a lot of energy out of you”

You then started teasing Namjoon for his lack of knowledge on how human anatomy worked, and the afternoon continued with lots of laughter and giggles from both of you.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

If you liked this please interact/follow! Thank you for reading ♡ - Emily

107 notes · View notes

taecalikook · 4 years

Text

Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : 32.780 (one-shot)

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol enjoy!

=====================================

Working directly after you graduate in one of the biggest fast moving consumer goods companies in the country might be the dream. While to an extent it might be true, you realize that you have so many things to sacrifice—including your sanity and personal life.

So one dawn you spent all night working on the procurement report you have to submit to the finance team in just five hours, you are so distressed you bawl your eyes out so hard you feel like it is about to fall off. You were too loud to the point that Namjoon, your roommate, was awakened and had to console and accompany you, finishing the report for another hour until you could finally sleep.

And the next morning when you wake up after only three hours of sleep, you have to drive early in the morning to submit the signed reports to the finance team. You are not ecstatic to say the least. Not only that you had the worst night and don’t have the time to conceal your excessive eye bags, you have to submit the physical report to the most notorious, annoying person to ever exist—Jeon Jungkook.

You don’t even understand why destiny had to be that cruel to pair you with Jungkook for a tad bit too many of your tasks. He is annoying, self-centered, impolite, and probably the worst person that you have ever worked with. And it is quickly proven when you are going to submit the report and stride to his desk, finding he is still calmly typing on the laptop. Irritated by how divine he looks at eight in the morning compared with your hideous self, you slam the report right beside his laptop.

“Here it is. And once again thank you for making me change every fucking numbers in that report right the night before.” You hisses, folding your arms in front of your chest. He looks up to you with a grin, his fingers swiftly opening the report.

“I’m sorry, dear but if you wanna complain, you can directly do it to your boss.” He chuckles lightheartedly, and you roll your eyes in disgust. How can he still be this composed is beyond you. “And besides, it’s your team who mistakenly input the data. How is it my fault?”

“I can actually give you an essay for that as an answer, but I don’t want to violate the rules since we are now in working hours.” You harshly respond, tapping your feet impatiently while his eyes are skimming the report.

Another five minutes until Jungkook closes the report with a loud tap and smirk in mirth at your obvious disconcert. “So is that an invitation for a meet-up outside working hours?”

You hiss after hearing such an expected sentence coming out from the jerk. He really is that self-centered, and it shouldn’t have baffled you by now. “I hope you are very well aware that you are annoying and I don’t like you.”

“I am aware of that, beautiful. You have explicitly reminded me in every email chain—better tell me something I don’t know.”

“Nah, I don’t have anything good to say for you.” You scoff and stomp your heels around to leave him behind. The fury is still booming inside your head, so you repetitively let go of your breath, trying to detox your mind of his annoying, but forsakenly handsome face of that jerk out of your mind.

After arriving at your desk, you throw your belongings on the desk and sit on your seat after sighing loudly. It immediately attracts the attention of one of the team peers who sits beside you, Hoseok.

“Wow. Why the long face, Y/N? It’s Friday, lighten up a little.”

“I literally cannot ‘lighten up’ if I keep on working with Jeon Jungkook. Is there any way I can just… not see him or contact him even just for a day? Or even better, forever?!” You hiss while raucously opening your laptop. Hoseok chuckles in amusement.

“Y/N, I don’t know why you are so against the guy. Yes, I know he might be a little cocky—”

“A little?!” You immediately cut Hoseok, but he has been in this conversation too many times before to know that he needs to continue before you begin your patriotic speech of why Jungkook doesn’t deserve anything good in his life.

“—but he is not that bad. People, especially girls like the guy. He is great looking, charming and good with words. One of the best in his team too, even with such short time joining the company I even heard he might be promoted soon. I think you should give him a chance.” Hoseok shrugs.

You huff and stare at Hoseok in heavy betrayal painted in your face. “That’s not going to happen, Hoseok. Yes, I know people might be blind and think so highly of that cocky ass jerk, but you are my friend and should be educated about not seeing one person only by the assumption of other people. Jungkook is not as good as everyone thinks he is.”

“But why? I know you, Y/N. And I know this is not hatred only based on work—there is something else that happened.” Hoseok calmly speaks his mind, but it successfully throws you off guard. Not that you want to admit it, you are well aware that the dislike you got for the guy is not majorly caused by professional work. But you’d rather bite your hand off rather than voluntarily telling it to someone else.

Seeing how silent you have become, Hoseok immediately turns aghast. “Just a shot in the dark... Did you sleep with this guy before?”

The thought immediately puts you to shame and your face turns vermillion. God, how can he say that?! “What are you saying?!” You squeal in alarm, and you do realize you are too shocked to even speak clearly right now. Damn Hoseok and his outstanding deduction skill! “You are talking nonsense now, Hobi. Why-why would—fuck this I’m going to the restroom.”

You can hear Hoseok's distinctive laughter behind you when you stride towards the restroom, and the desire to knock your head to the wall is too much. You are literally fucked.

After working hours, you are finally able to escape the office and ask Namjoon to accompany you and eat in your favorite steak restaurant near both your offices. Namjoon looks at you munching on your steak like a starved woman while silently sipping his glass of red wine.

“Well, I never understood how people say they can get full only by seeing someone else eat, but I kinda get it now.”

You glare at him and hiss, stabbing the steak with your fork in pique. “Stop bothering me! I hate it. I hate everything! Work sucks, life sucks, everything sucks. And I literally don’t have any friends to hangout on friday night beside my own roommate whom I see nearly 24/7. I really had no life beside work it’s embarrassing—”

Namjoon winces, and you immediately halt every movement and stare at him in shock. You know that gaze. It literally screams apology and regret.

“About that…”

You gasp and smash your utensils in the table that few other people are glancing weirdly your way, but you cannot care enough about those prodding eyes. “No! You can’t do this to me, Namjoon! You are ditching me tonight, aren’t you?!”

He grimaces. “I’m sorry, Y/N but I promised the guys for drinking tonight. It’s already planned since god knows when, I can’t bail on them.” You sigh, massaging your aching temple. Noticing how upset you’ve been—probably due to the possibility of ending the stressful weekend only in your pajamas watching bad tv shows, Namjoon quickly continues. “But you can come if you want! We would love to have you there.”

You suddenly put your hand together, moving closer to Namjoon in vivid interest. There’s a possibility to drink your pain away tonight and you are all down for it. “I would love to! I am so stressed lately, I desperately need an outlet. I am going crazy for this work and another second just sitting around I will go mad. And I would love to hangout with the guys! It’s Seokjin, Hoseok, and the others right?!”

“Yeah… about that.” Namjoon’s hesitance is too obvious that you immediately squint your eyes in suspicion. “Yes, I’m with those guys. But there is one additional person joining us and… you won’t like it.”

You giggle at his concern, easily shrugging it away. “Who? I don’t think so, Namjoon. Don’t underestimate me, I may not be as friendly or outgoing as you are, but I can manage to meet new people well and—”

“It’s Jeon Jungkook.”

You immediately close your eyes and heave a breath, your fingers are gripping hard on the edge of the table until Namjoon literally had to move his chair a step back out of fright. It is not the first time he had to face your immeasurable wreath, and it is literally not a good sight he’d do anything to avoid it to happen ever again.

“Why?! In what circumstances would you ever hang out with that bastard?!”

“It just happened! Jimin is friends with the guy, both are from the same department as well. He is new and nice—to us, at least.” He quickly adds before you go into a screaming match yet again. “It’s harmless! And he needs friends too, Y/N. He is new in the city, and doesn't have many friends. I still have no idea how you can even hate the guy when he literally just entered his four months in town.”

You look up to Namjoon aloofly. Jungkook has no friends? What happened to the jerk you knew a few years back? He seemed to be doing well with his bunch of jerks he called as friends. “Pssh—I don’t really care about that. Just do whatever you want!” You childishly pout and continue in stabbing your steak. You know that with Namjoon you can always count on him being a brother that would gladly endure your annoying traits and childishness.

“Hey, I am sorry. Don’t be mad, okay? What if we get ice cream tomorrow, hmm?” He kindly persuades and then you are unable to prolong your fake burst. There is no way you can stay mad at him, as he is literally a heaven-sent angel to you. You don’t even know how you can stay sane if it weren’t for your kind roommate.

“M‘kay. But you’re paying and I am taking home a litre of shooting star ice cream.”

Namjoon sighs and you giggle at his easy forfeit. “You are neither easy on the eyes nor to my wallet. I hope you understand how generous I am to still want to participate in this friendship.”

“By the way, have you seen VoE email this afternoon?” Namjoon nonchalantly asks, smiling to the waitress that places his own steak. You meekly shake your head, cause ain’t nobody got time to read another email from the Voice of Employee team. You already arranged your inbox neatly and automated those emails to be placed inside the folder which named ‘emails i probably will never read ever in this lifetime’. “I shouldn’t have asked, of course you haven’t.” He continues, unimpressed and you grin devilishly at that.

“So, they announced the new employee engagement event. This year’s event is kind of a blind pen pal thingy that is arranged by Jimin.” Namjoon explains while cutting his steak in boxes. “Albeit lame, I thought it was kind of interesting. You should join, you know?”

“Pen pal?” You scrunch your eyebrow. The idea is not appalling even a little to you. “Really? What year does he think it is?”

“It could be fun! You know it must be nice meeting new people across the company. Funny that they also recommend the participant to hide their identities and stay anonymous while chatting at least for the first few weeks.”

“What? That’s so lame! Why do they have these kinds of things?!” You giggle and shake your head in.

“Actually, because people like you, Y/N. You said yourself that you had no friends and life outside work. It could be great to meet someone new and talk freely, even in the company. It’s also good that it’s anonymous in the first weeks so people won't be judgy and busy talking about work stuff and making friends instead.” Namjoon replies back and you pretend hurt at the truth shoved at your face.

“Ouch! That hurts.” You jokingly wince but nonetheless shrug. “I think it kinda made sense, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Oh, come on! It can't be that bad.” Namjoon groans at your stubbornness. “You know you have to pick an employee engagement event. If you choose to go with your boss for the fishing competition event when you know he’ll talk about work all the time, I’ll gladly say go for it. And you literally can’t even boil water, there’s no way you’ll be joining the ‘masterchef’ event. Or that singing competition! Are you kidding me? No way.”

You sigh at the reminder since Namjoon is indeed correct. There’s no way you’d be joining the other engagement events since you are talentless in nearly any other area, and whilst pretending you can cook might be interesting, the possibility of burning the whole kitchen is not since you are not risking the lives of others because of your carelessness. And singing is the one you already gave up on. You are not embarrassing yourself and be the joke of the year in front of your boss and colleagues.

“Gosh..I hate it when you are correct. I’ll think about it later, okay?” You frustratedly hiss, ruffling your hair in distress. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

After another half an hour chatting while you finish your food, you and Namjoon quickly pay with another dramatic debate of which one of you will pay. After humorlessly swearing that you will twist his figurine if he still insists on paying, you easily win the debate and pay instead.

“So, are you going straight to the bar?” You inquire after walking out of the restaurant. Namjoon hums and swiftly picks the phone from his pocket, checking his friend’s current whereabouts.

“Nope, I think they should be here anytime soon, but—”

“Namjoon! Y/N!”

Both of your eyes quickly divert to three guys coming your way. It’s Jimin’s jovial voice calling your name, Hoseok beside him and… Jungkook. The huff instinctively comes out of your mouth after noticing the guy wearing a blue navy buttoned up shirt who irritatingly still looks too good for him. Noticing that Jungkook’s intense gaze is never diverted from you, you quickly shift your face somewhere else.

“You guys finished the dinner?” Jimin asks and you nod with a smile. “Ah, long time talking to you again, Y/N! I am sad we don’t get to work together again.”

You giggle, definitely sensing the irony in his sentence. The fact that he is assigned to another project in Finance was the biggest turning hill in your career, as it was also the point you were introduced to Jeon Jungkook, as the new hire who replaced him and whom you would be working closely with. You don’t even want to remember how stricken and betrayed you felt at that time.

“Yup, true.” You quickly smile and clearly avoid both Jungkook whom you detect is still staring at you and Hoseok who is literally glancing at Jungkook staring at you. This is getting ridiculous and you detest each awkward second spent with these men.

“Hey! You guys know that we are sending the last reminder for choosing an employee event!” Jimin suddenly chirps and you wince. “I noticed you guys haven’t been picking yours.”

“Last reminder? I thought it was just announced this afternoon.” Namjoon innocently asks while scratching his temple. Jimin instantly sighs in distress.

“I began sending it two weeks ago, Namjoon. Damn it!” He hisses and Namjoon immediately points at you.

“Y/N didn’t even read the email!” You slap his shoulder quickly in embarrassment. Jimin looks at you in disappointment and you smile, inevitably guilty for him.

“You guys are such a pain in the ass. I’ll be waiting for your emails monday morning. And please do pick the pen pal option arranged by me!” He singsongs proudly. You nod dubiously. “There’s a lot in store and I can guarantee you it would be very fun!”

You are still nodding, before looking to Namjoon. Freaking Jungkook is still reading you like you are a book, so you need to head out fast before anything unwanted happens. “So, I think I’ll head out first. You guys have fun—”

“Let’s go together! I parked in our usual.” Namjoon says and you briskly nod, your legs are desperate to put distance between you and Jungkook’s intense and unnecessary stare. You bite your tongue to hold yourself from snapping. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy?!

“Namjoon, Jungkook is going with you, he didn’t bring his car. Hoseok is pooling with me, we need to stop somewhere first.” Jimin nonchalantly mentions but you are immediately struck. Why?! Why would Jungkook pool with Namjoon? It means that you are going to spend another five minutes walking to your car parked in the basement where you’ll have to spend an elevator ride with him. Ugh, even the thought repulses you.

“Let’s go. Seokjin and Yoongi are already on the way to the bar and ten bucks say Yoongi is cranky as fuck now.” Hoseok wriggles his eyebrows at you. You reponds by mouthing him curse words as you know what he is implying. He is clearly having fun at your misery.

“Y/N, let’s go.” Namjoon quickly intercepts your clear avoidance for Jungkook by pulling you by the elbow. He gestures Jungkook to follow behind the two of you.

It was only uncomfortable silence even inside the lift that descends to the parking lot. You are this close to Jungkook, but you are still feeling his wary glances on your skin. It is too much of a burden and your last string snaps, unable to hold yourself.

“Is there something on my face?” You spit at him. Jungkook immediately looks away. Instead of answering with another trash reply, he decides to stay silent. Well, that’s new.

“So, tomorrow we need to choose an employee event. Can I sign you up for the pen pal one?” Namjoon asks suddenly, probably trying to take your minds off things, especially the fury you have for Jungkook.

“Namjoon, I don’t think so. At this rate I think I’ll just join that fishing one.”

Suddenly, an unexpected voice behind you is heard. “I don’t know, but they say fishing needs patience and you clearly are lacking that one, Y/N.”

You immediately throw your head back and glare at Jungkook. He nonchalantly looks back like he did not just diss you. “The fuck you say?!”

“I said what I said. I thought you’d know that by now.” He smiles civilly, and you just know he is the one begging you to snap and scratch your claws at him.

“Come here you little shit—“

Namjoon instantly holds you by the waist, stopping all your movement. “Y/N, don’t! Let’s go now.” He reliably holds you and leads you back to your car until Jungkook is safely out of your sight.

“Y/N, enough. It doesn’t matter. Just go home and take some rest.” He persuades and you have to take multiple breathes in and out to calm yourself. “I know you are angry but please don’t run him with your car.” He jokes, but you immediately form a chilling smirk with your lips.

“That’s a great idea, actually.” You vigorously pat your wheels.

“Y/N, I was joking, please—“

You giggle at his clear fright. “I’m joking too. I’m okay, Namjoon. He was just being a jerk again. I got used to it. That’s not even the most hurtful thing he said to me. I’m fine.”

Namjoon heaves a breath and moves to pat your head with a grin. “You gave me a fright, you fool. Drive save, okay? Let me know when you’re home.”

You hum and Namjoon moves to close your door. You move your car and catch Jungkook standing on the side. He was waving at you with a condescending smile, the one you answer by flipping him off.

It’s been nearly two in the morning. You are exhausted, but your body is still too much alive to be sleeping right now. At times, your body is still accustomed to your college routine when you’d only be sleepy when there’s still so much to do. Usually at these times, you would be watching movies with Namjoon, commenting on every single thing you can comment about the movie while he’d do anything to shut you up.

Already going to the sixth episode of your netflix series, you glance at your phone. Speaking of Namjoon, you notice that he hasn’t given you any signs of going back home. He always does, especially when drinking out with friends. The thought suddenly scares you that something might have happened to him, so you quickly dial his number.

Three beeps and finally someone picks up. “Hello? Namjoon? Where are you? Are you not coming home? If you’re not you should’ve told me sooner!”

An incoherent groan is heard along with a faint voice of someone you’d rather not mention. Another seconds of silence until an abrupt deafening, slurry voice is heard. It’s still him. Jeon Jungkook. “Y/N, can you help us? Namjoon passed out and I am not completely sober enough to drive. Come here and get us, please?”

“Ugh, get a taxi! It’s freaking two in the morning, I don’t want to go.” You groan, even if inside you are contemplating. Namjoon is drunk, and he brought his car with him. You’ll not be able to sleep if knowing he is out there drunk and in need of help. “Where are the others? Can’t they get you home?”

Five seconds of awkward whimpering of Jungkook babies himself, refusing to give Namjoon’s phone to someone else. It turns out to be Yoongi, also your workmate from IT. ”Y/N? Y/N! I am so happy you picked up. Can you get these guys? Everyone here beside me is drunk, and this petite body of mine can only take Hoseok and Jimin since they’re in my building as well. Can you please get your huge ass roommate home?”

You sigh, aloofly agreeing to help Yoongi. The place they are drinking is not far from your apartment, so not even bothering to change your peppa pig pajamas, you overlay it with a peach sweater and hitch a taxi right after.

Not even fifteen minutes on the way you finally arrive. The bar itself was rather vacant, the music has changed, and you can immediately detect a group of moron on the corner booth of the bar, looking severely drunk. Detecting your presence, Yoongi instantly lightens up.

“Y/N! Y/N thank god.” Yoongi exhales. “I really fucking desprate to go home. Can you bring Namjoon and Jungkook together? Jungkook lives near your apartment, and he is not that drunk. Just drop him off in front of his buildings, or whatever.”

You groan in distaste. “Really? I really have to bring this guy with me?” You peer your squinted eyes at Jungkook who is limping to stand beside you.

Jungkook rests his palm on your shoulder with an intoxicated smile, wiggling his eyebrows. “Yes. Let me come along, Y/N. I promise we’ll have fun, hmm?”

You instantly push him away in disgust, the empathy you surprisingly have for him has disappeared into thin air. “I’m not getting in any car with you, jackass. Have a great time sleeping on the street.”

Yoongi groans at your stubbornness. It is not an uncommon sight as he is already well informed of your bad blood with Jungkook. “Y/N, for the love of god please stop arguing with a drunk idiot and lets just go fucking home.”

Still scowling, you move to wake up Namjoon, circling his arms around your shoulder. Jungkook is somehow still sober enough to voluntarily help you carrying the giant to his car. After safely securing Namjoon on the back, you stride to the driver seat and Jungkook follows to sit on the passenger seat beside you. Driving out, it was only cold silence inside the car that you have to glance to see if Jungkook is asleep. It turns out he is not sleeping, instead catching him stealing glances at you.

“What the hell are you looking at?” You frown at him. He shrugs, diverting his eyes to the window. Another three minutes of silence until he opens his voice.

“Are you dating Namjoon?”

You stare at him, befuddled. What the fuck is he prattling about? “I am quite certain it is none of your business. Why are you asking anyway?”

“Nothing, just a question. You don’t have to answer.” He somberly responds, not mimicking the edge in your tone the way you expect him to. It leaves a sour taste in your tongue, feeling guilty in such a strange way.

“Namjoon and the other asked me why we hate each other so much.”

At the sudden information, your body tense. Namjoon asked him? Did he possibly tell the guys about what happened between the two of you? Even the thought only scares your whole being. “And what did you say?”

He heaves a deep breath once again. “I said I don’t not hate you. You may hate me, but I never hate you.”

The answer and his tone is astoundingly civil, so you glance at him in confusion. Hard to believe it is him talking right now. “What are you saying?”

He massages his temple. “I never hate you, Y/N. I know. I know what happened between us. And even if it’s too late, I know I was wrong and you have all rights to be furious at me.”

The fingers you have on the wheel tightens. You don’t know why you feel this way. The moment Jungkook acknowledges the mistakes he has made, it seems like everything shifts into a different light. You bit your lips in irresolution. Is it actually you who is too irrational not to let go something that is clearly in the past?

As if not realizing your current distress, Jungkook continues. “I know there is no time we’re not at each other’s throat, but I always wanted to ask how you’ve been. Are you living okay? How is your family, is everything good now?”

At his questions, you find yourself snapped. You don’t need it. You don’t need his sympathy. All things he said are never going to change what he did, and frankly it is too hard to imagine he might have changed. You had enough of him and his bullshit and one thing you will never do is to repeat history again. You are not that much of an idiot.

“Save it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.” You shakily say, the tears are already swarming at the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had it enough. I am not going back again to that phase again. You hurt me, bad. And I’m not an idiot whom you can fool around with and will be there at your doorstep the moment you want it.”

“Y/N, I—”

You immediately step on the break that jerks everyone inside the car including you. “This is your apartment, right?” If you’re explicit gesture for him to fuck off is not clear, you don’t know what is—but it seems like he understands well enough and reluctantly nods. Releasing his seatbelt, he gazes at you again, eyes swarming with anonymous emotion.

“Just so you know, I never told them anything—what happened between us, I mean. I’ll never say that to anybody. If you still hate me this much, I know it’s not my place to tell.”

You are still unmoving, only looking straight ahead as he dejectedly continues. “I know this is wistful thinking, but I wish we can sometime talk, Y/N. Just talk. Like two people who are not desperate to hurt each other, or to bicker, or anything.”

You shift your head, ironically smirk at him with tears already falling down your face. Talk? Now he wants to talk to you? Does he think you’re a joke? He is a bastard and you should’ve known better than to deal further with him again.

“Well, maybe you’ve lost your chance to talk when you told me to fuck off that time.”

After spending all weekend balled up inside your blanket while Namjoon constantly queried you about what happened, it is finally Monday morning. You woke up in a troubled mood, all because the first thing you do in the morning is to prepare for the 8.30 meeting you have with your boss and team, in which one person from finance is invited and it is freaking Jeon Jungkook. You literally have no idea what happened to your luck, since everything seems to be going downhill recently.

Arriving exactly in time, you can see two of your planning teammates, Hoseok and Jungkook are already seated. You greet them and directly take a seat beside Hoseok, silently opening your laptop to prepare the meeting, trying to be as nonchalant as ever. You notice that Jungkook is avoiding your eyes at all costs, and you are grateful for it. Your boss arrives directly in a minute, and then the meeting starts.

An hour into the meeting, your boss finally concludes. While you are arranging your belongings, your boss unexpectedly asks. “Y/N, for the employee engagement. Which one do you choose? If you’re still unsure, you should pick fishing. We can team up, and maybe talk about the project—”

The thoughts alone scares you and you abruptly answer in panic. Inside you are cursing Namjoon and his great predicting skills. “No, sir. I am picking the pen pal one. Might be great to meet and make new friends.”

He nods in understanding, and right after he walks out of the meeting room Hoseok chuckles. “Smart choice, Y/N. Otherwise you'll be stuck discussing work and faking laughs all the time.”

Smiling, you look up to Jungkook who stands near you. You feel the cold of nerves over his intimidating presence.

“Gotta go, talk to you another time.”

He quickly walks out, a tad bit surprising to both you and Hoseok. There is something different about Jungkook—he is not the confident, all-rounders man he used to be. There is a hint of rush in his voice and you might have an idea why.

“So, have you received your pen pal username?”

You look up to Namjoon, before re-reading the email Jimin sent to you yesterday about the person you are going to be anonymously chatting with. You’ve already downloaded the chatting applications, signing up yourself yesterday and now it’s you who should add and start the chat.

“Yes. I have, actually.” You breath out, before throwing it back on the sofa. “I don’t even know why I’m nervous! This doesn’t make sense. This is just talking, Y/N. Get your shit together.”

“I am now chatting with a certain person, username doofenshmirtz.” Namjoon mentions while typing on his phone. “I don’t know whether this is a good sign that she or he loves doctor doofenshmirtz or just another heartless jerk like anybody else.”

“Well if it's the preceding, he or she is indeed a keeper.” You hum in agreement, finally braving yourself to add. But now you have to begin the chat! God, this is indeed a struggle. “I am so awkward. What do people usually say to introduce themselves?”

“Well, most people usually go with a simple ‘hello’.”

You sigh at Namjoon’s useless advice, but when you are typing, sudden pop up chats arrive, shocking you altogether.

91snowball : wow, this really work [21:38]

91snowball : tell me if i’m correct or fuck it i’ll just delete this app now [21:39]

“Snowball is chatting with me right now!” You freak out, raise to your knees in tension. “Namjoon, what should I do! I don’t know what to say!”

Namjoon weirdly glances at you, then proceeds to continue whatever he is doing on his phone. “Just say something. Why are you thinking about it too much…”

blueberry_25 : yes i think we are pen pals😅 [21:40]

91snowball : ah, finally [21:40]

91snowball : so get this, blueberry_25. Which one travels faster? hot or cold [21:40]

Your eyebrows wrinkle at the unexpected riddle, but giggle otherwise. “My pen pal just asked me a riddle. Which one travels faster, hot or cold.”

Namjoon groans in disgust. “If the answer is hot because you can catch a cold you better block that person right now. That’s super fucking lame, what the hell.”

blueberry_25 : did you just search ice breaking riddles at google because i read the same one you asked me lol [21:42]

91snowball : wtf haha thats embarrassing but since you did too im fine 🥴 [21:43]

But soon enough, you find yourself chatting to snowball until nearly two in the morning. It is beyond you how easy it is to talk with him, about the recent movies, your unending love for how i met your mother, his addiction to brooklyn nine nine, and a little about each other. You know he is a male around your age (as you decide not to disclose age, just range) and he loves skiing. You tell him about your love of classical and grunge music—in which fascinates him due to the heavy contrast of the two—and ending it with a debate about which music defines puberty the most, my chemical romance or fall out boy. Both of you agree to end it with a draw.

In the end, snowball kindly reminds you you should be sleeping and have a good rest for tomorrow’s work. Reluctantly agreeing, you thank him and say you’re looking forward to the next chat. Even with the exhaustion you feel, you can only fall asleep after reading your exhilarating chat with him for one more time.

You forget how easy it is to talk to someone new. Or maybe you have been trying to forget you ever did.

Walking to your desk, you rest all your belongings and open your laptop. Hoseok beside you instantly slides his chair next to yours, eyes squinted and eyebrows scrunched.

“Why the fuck are you singing in nine in the morning, that’s so unlike you.”

You look at him in confusion. Are you singing? You did not even realize. “Oh, am I singing? Sorry if it bothers you, I didn’t know.”

The horrified look in Hoseok’s face is getting prominent. “You literally never apologize in the mornings. You always have a foul mood with an ugly frown on your face. Tell me who kidnapped you! Are you even Y/N?!”

You roll your eyes at his dramatic response. “Yes, I know I haven’t been in the best mood lately, but just let me live, okay? And why is this chocolate on my desk, this is yours.”

Hoseok looks at the ferrero rocher leaning on your desk with the small card on it. “It’s not mine. But let me check.” He swiftly takes the chocolate and pulls the card, his eyes scanning the words written on it. Five seconds passes before the mirth is detected on his face.

“This is not mine, this is for you.”

Flustered, you quickly take the card back from Hoseok’s grasp and read it. Someone is sending you chocolate, along with a hot pack glued on the back, and you don’t have any idea who or why.

It might be a little cold since it’s November soon, so here's a hot pack and also chocolate for you. Hope you’re having a great day today, Y/N!

“Wow, a secret admirer? The fuck, this is 2020–who does that anymore.” Hoseok cringes while getting back to his seat. Even so, he quickly opens his skype with a mischievous smile on his face. What an obvious moron, he giggles to himself.

“I told you a million times it is not me, Y/N.”

It is lunch at your office cafeteria, while Namjoon looks at you in distress at your accusation of him sending the chocolate you also bring with you to lunch. Hoseok is silently sitting in front of both of you, with Yoongi and Jimin on both his sides.

“But who else? There is no one supportive enough to send me a chocolate and a freaking hot pack beside you.” You huff while cutting your broccoli. Namjoon sighs, glancing at Hoseok discreetly.

“Even though I’m honored that I’m the only one who is strong enough to be your emotional support, it’s not me, and—“

“Enough about that! Hey, how’s it going with your pen pal?” Jimin suddenly asks, a wide smile on his face. You expect Jimin to ask the question to anyone, so when you notice the table is too silent you find everyone is peering at you.

“Why are you asking me?! Ask Hoseok.”

“It was so so. A man from HR.” Hoseok nonchalantly answers. “And we only introduced ourselves last night.”

“Mine was fine! She’s a girl from procurement.” Namjoon smiles. “But yeah, we just introduced ourselves last night. Maybe I should talk to her again today.”

“I just knew he is a guy. I didn’t really know where he’s from, but he’s around my age. It was great! He was very kind, and we had fun.” You nod silently.

“Fun? You literally were laughing like a hyena at 2 in the morning. I heard it through the wall.” Namjoon snorts and you side-glare him. Namjoon’s loose lips again, what’s new. “I figure it must be your pen pal, right? What ‘fun’ were you having, Y/N?”

“You’re literally disgusting, Namjoon.”

“Hey, Jungkook! Sit here!”

You instantly look up, finding Jungkook’s eyes peering at your desk, a tray of food in his grasp. You don’t really know why, you really thought he was heading to your table—but when his eyes find yours, he immediately pauses on his step. “Ah, sorry but I am here with someone.” He thinly smiles and excuses himself.

Unable to hold yourself, you look to your back and find him sitting with the tables of girls whom you recognize is also in finance. You are not certain if it is only you, but those girls really seem to be too amazed at his presence, instantly leeching themselves to him. Even if it’s not really a strange view to you, it is difficult to hold back your scoff.

Same old, same old.

You are waiting in the lobby of your office for Namjoon, since you are not bringing your car with you today. He said he’ll come down soon, so you are waiting patiently—but then a pair catches your attention from the corner of your eyes. It is Jungkook and Seojoo—the one you recognize also from Finance who was also at lunch with him.

You don’t even realize your eyes are squinted at those two, along with a scowl on your face. But at the possibility of being caught, you instinctively divert your eyes and duck your head to the other side. Even still Jungkook somehow is still able to capture you and head to your side. At that you internally curse.

“Y/N, why are you here? You’re not heading home?” He asks in concern, closing to you while your eyebrows wrinkle at his so-called familiarity. What is he doing talking so assertively—does he really think you are on that basis with him?

“I’m waiting for someone.” You curtly answer, not even a shift in your expression.

“Who?”

You look at him while scrunching your eyebrows. What the hell does he think he has a right to ask you that? “No one. It’s okay, I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? Seojoo here is pooling with me—Ah, sorry I was impolite. Do you know each other?” Jungkook asks, like he is suddenly waking up that there is someone beside the two of you. Holding back your snort, you put a strict smile and offer your hand to the woman who is not even concerned to hide even a bit of her judgmental eyes at you.

“Seojoo.” She whispers which you mutter your name as a response and fuck is it awkward. You can obviously feel that Seojoo is marking his territory around Jungkook and you don’t fancy it one bit. Why does she have to feel that way towards you?

“Seojoo, you said you are going to the restroom. Aren’t you going?” Jungkook suddenly asks after your short and tense introduction. At that, Seojoo is bewildered, presumably bothered by the thought of leaving you alone with him, like you are going to eat him up right after she leaves. Fuck, what is wrong with her...

She hesitates, “I’m fine, though—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be waiting here. You can go.” Jungkook amicably says with a wide smile, and the insecure chick had no other option than to comply. After she leaves, his prodding eyes are immediately focused on you.

“Can you just say to that fling of yours that I am just a nobody? I will not steal you, damn it. If looks can kill I’ll already bleed to death right now.” You scowl in irk. But just seeing your scowl somehow brings giggles to his smile. “Why are you laughing, you dumbass?”

“You know what, if I’m that presumptuous I’d think you are jealous right now.”

You scrunch your nose, severely abhorred by his annoying big head. “But you are that presumptuous.”

“Exactly.”

Irritated, you push him by the chest until he erupts in loud laughter. “Fuck, why should I be jealous? We are literally nothing and will never be more than that—Gosh, we’re not even friends.”

“Well that’s just saddening.” He frowns while clutching on his chest even though he cannot say it’s not expected. “What are you saying, Y/N? We are more than that, we go way back and you know it.”

You hum and fake a contemplating expression. “Hmm, you’re right but I’m drawing blanks here. How did it go again?”

The wide mischievous grin on his lips dims, shifts into a thin smile. “I could not change the past, I know. But you know regardless of what happened—”

“I’m done.” Seojoo suddenly says, clings on Jungkook’s arm that it stops whatever words he is about to say and you are kind of thankful for that. “We can go now.”

Finally detecting Namjoon tapping out to the lobby in such perfect timing, you send both of the morons a lofty grin. “I should go. You guys have fun, but don’t forget a condom, okay?” You turn your gaze to flabbergasted Seojoo. “Or you know what? Maybe you should prick on it too, so then he’ll stay forever. But if I were you, I wouldn’t count on it. Good luck!”

You can sense the jaw drops at such provocative statements coming out of you, but you don’t even give an ounce of care and leave the scene. After managing to humiliate or hurt both of them, you feel good. You feel strong. However, when Namjoon is at your side and glances at you, he shouts, utterly stupefied.

“Y/N, why—why are you crying?!”

It’s eleven pm, you are still settled inside your blanket. You are physically tired, but still your mind is too conflicted to sleep. Half is because of your work, and the other half is caused by that freaking jerk, Jeon Jungkook.

You despise the fact that you are still thinking about him. You suppose to be hating on that guy, but even the hatred is too difficult to maintain right now with his strangely devoted and warm self. Even if it’s a hard to swallow pill, you know you’re enjoying the banter with him. God, you are fucking weak for Jungkook and you hate it.

Rolling in your bed, you try to remember the bad things he has done for you. Forgetting you, abandoning you, playing with your heart like it did not matter—but it eventually ends with the treasured moments with him you wish will never resurface again. Like the moment he holds you all night after your parents fight. Or the moment he defends your honor like it matters the most. Or the moment he first kissed you that fateful, rainy night. Everything is coming back to you now like a trainwreck.

Suddenly among your wandering thoughts, your phone rings. Heaving deeply, you pick up to detect a new message on your anonymous chatting apps. It’s snowball.

91snowball : hi hi hi hi hi what are you doing [23:02]

91snowball : are you sleeping no you cant be sleeping dont sleep on me blue [23:02]

Chuckling, you proceed to type a response.

blueberry_25 : hahaha im not sleeping [23:03]

blueberry_25 : i can’t sleep. Too much thoughts [23:03]

91snowball : care to share? I swear im a good listener [23:05]

91snowball : someone bothering you at work? let me know and ill gass ‘em up for u blue [23:05]

blueberry_25 : really? you’d do that for me? [23:06]

91snowball : of course just tell me who it is they’ll be gone by tomorrow [23:06]

blueberry_25 : lol it’s nothing. Im just confused [23:07]

blueberry_25 : have u ever been confused about someone? Like u thought u hate them but… its hard to say you do [23:09]

You don’t even know why you just have the urge to tell a stranger about your current contemplation about Jungkook. You desperately need a third perspective on this, and maybe just telling it to someone that wouldn’t know and judge you might be a good change for once.

91snowball : why do u hate them? [23:09]

Blueberry_25 : he hurt and lied to me. when i thought there was something real, he was just in for fun and i should hate him. but why is it so hard to say so now? [23:10]

It’s true. Jungkook was someone you thought you’d love. You trust him so much that you opened up to him better than anyone else, and thought something was there. But all of it was just a lie—he was just in for the thrill. All because of his annoying male ego that made you realize he was just a patronizing jerk that used you for his own benefit and left when he’s done. He is the reason you are insecure about meeting someone new. He is the evil one.

91snowball : maybe because they changed? I know its hard to believe but people change too [23:12]

blueberry_25 : maybe… [23:14]

91snowball : what i’m saying, maybe you should give them a chance to explain? [23:15]

91snowball : but if they’re still the same, punch them and never see them again [23:16]

91snowball : you don’t want to be thinking about it forever, blue. just give the closure your heart deserves [23:17]

He is right, you desperately need closure with Jungkook so you can finally move on with your life—but even the thought scares you. A question arises inside your head that settles strangely in your chest—a question that answers why all your pain and resentment are still so vivid even after years have passed.

Closure with Jungkook scares you… Because you do not know if you’re ready to close it.

Another late night, but you are still sitting at your desk. All of your teams already went back, and Namjoon told you he went home an hour ago. He did offer to keep you company, but you quickly refuse, saying you’re doing alright on your own—but now you indeed start to regret your decision. You hate being alone, especially at night but you really need to finish the planning report asap for finance to check again. Seriously, these endless tasks are going to be the death of you.

“Why is this—” You furiously tap on backspace, anger rises inside your head. You have no idea why the recent planning process has too many hiccups like this. The data given to you is not tally, and you don’t even know why. There must be something wrong.

Among the stress inside your head, your eyes fall at the lilies resting on your desk and smiles. Your eyes linger on the notes stuck on it for already the nth time already today.

Here’s beautiful lilies for you. Hope you have a great day too today, Y/N!

“Hey, you are still here?”

Surprised, you abruptly look up, finding Jungkook’s concerned face at you. You release a deep breath of relief. “I thought you went home, it’s pretty late.” He continues apprehensively.

You clear your throat, suddenly finding it a bit hard to speak with the realization that it’s only the both of you on the whole level. “Yes, haven’t finished the report I need to submit. No worry, I’ll submit it soon.”

He carefully slides and sits on Hoseok’s seat beside you. “I’m okay if you submit this tomorrow. You should head back, you must be tired.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I just want to finish this tonight, head home and sleep.” You give him a short, civil smile before continuing your work. “You can go home if you want to. I’m okay.”

“I think I’d rather stay. My cousin is having ‘dinner’ with his girlfriend right now, god knows what I might go home to.” He lightly jokes, and it kinda works in entertaining you a little. You know based on your resentment to him you should curtly answer or ask him to leave, but you do know that you’d rather have someone as company right now, even though it has to be Jeon Jungkook.

“You got flowers?” He pensively asks after minutes of silence, raising his eyebrow.

You glance at him staring at the lilies at your desk. Suddenly, your throat dries and you don’t even know why. “Y-yes.”

“From who?”

“I.. I don’t know. Someone put this on my desk this morning.” You whisper, more to yourself. You hate yourself for explaining when you have the right not too, but deep down, this shameless part you are expecting Jungkook might be the one sending all these gifts. You know it makes no sense whatsoever—but involuntarily you are still foolishly hoping so. Yes, you are that delusional.

“A note too? Wow, a secret admirer. How poetic.” He sneers, then shifts his gaze back to his screen. At the obviously sarcastic tone, you scoff in irritation. What a jerk.

“You have a problem with that? What—jealous that you never have someone you truly care to give gifts to?”

He meaningfully stares at you, making it difficult to breathe. “It’s not true and you know it.”

At your befuddled expression, Jungkook sighs, not even wanting to prolong the debate. “But no. None whatsoever. I don’t care, it has nothing to do with me anyway.”

You bite your lips in evident shock and disappointment, and try your best to make the unpleasant thoughts disappear. Did he just implicitly address your past together? About the time he gave you a gift you could never forget for your whole lifetime? About the time when you foolishly thought he was someone you could give your heart to?

A few minutes passed in deep, tense silence and Jungkook is sitting beside you now, working on his own tasks. He is so focused on the screen, with his lean fingers stroking his chiseled jaw and he leans to the seat, eyebrows scrunching like something is bothering him so much. And the scar prominent on his upper left cheek is as palpable as ever, and you notice how much he has changed, but still hasn’t. Jungkook grew up really well from the last time you saw him a few years back. No wonder all the girls are flocking on him like he is a magnet or whatever.

“Hey, Y/N, get this.” Jungkook suddenly turns to you, and albeit surprised, you are trying to look as unfazed as ever—like you did not just spend minutes to admire his attractive features. Even if your face heats up at the possibility of Jungkook finding out your antics. “I see the reports from the planning and other supply chain teams are not tally. This has been going, since approximately two months ago. Do you have any idea why?”

You squint your eyes at the reports. Yes, it is the data you get from Junsu, the new-hire for your team. “I don’t really know why. I got this data from Junsu, he said he received it from the plant team.”

“I really think we should check this. I’m not sure.” Jungkook whispers, chewing on his lower lips. Another seconds of silence passes before he notices your intimidating stare on his face. “...everything okay, Y/N? Something’s bothering you? Are you tired?”

Fuck, you really spend those seconds staring at the way he chewed his lips. There must be something wrong in your head now. “No—no.. I’m just.. Yes! Yes, I’m tired. I think I need to go home.”

Jungkook nods in all seriousness while you are packing your belongings. You need to flee, fast. “Yes, you really should go home and rest. Let’s talk about this tomorrow again, hmm?”

“Yes, yes! Okay, see you tomorrow.” You hastily smile, quickly escape the room without minding his voice calling your name. Damn, you need to set your head straight. It is Jeon Jungkook you’re talking about here. You can’t be weak for him.

The night passess in a blink, and then the morning arrives a tad bit faster than you expect it to. Especially since you wake up to your boss' message, ordering you to come to his desk right after you arrive at the office—which means a disaster happened and you are not mentally prepared for that.

“Y/N, why the hell the sales director called and yelled at me?” Is your boss’ first sentence when you enter his room. You gulp instinctively, then move to proceed to sit because you know it won’t be over before it’s too long.

Another hour and you came out from the room looking as exhausted as ever. There is some mistake in either the planning and manufacturing side that creates untally numbers in reports between units which then escalates to the higher management. And now you have to manually check the numbers without the intervention of people and present it by tomorrow afternoon, which means you will have to go to the plant as of right now—it’s two and a half hours drive from your office.

Feeling terribly unfit to drive due to the pain in your head, you choose to get there by train—in which you spend by checking the numbers again for the first hour, but the pain in your head is getting unbearable and you decide to sleep it off. Few hours later, you finally arrive at the plant, weakly entering the office side of the plant. Upon finding a space to place your belongings, someone immediately catches your attention, finding him talking with a group of people and a stack of paper on his grasp. Are your eyes lying to you right now? Is he really here?

“...Jungkook?”

Hearing his name is called, Jungkook instinctively looks back to find your confused expression. The shock in his expression is palpable too. “Y/N? You’re here.”

“What are you doing here?”

He looks bewildered at your simple question. “I-I am talking to—to these people. Umm.. for my reports.”

Your eyebrows raised, as he should be coordinating with plant finance folks instead of your team. “But they are in supply chain.”

Jungkook is abashed, you sense it clearly. “Y-yes, I just—can we talk about this later? You can join us if you want, this might help you too.”

Decide to ignore the strange fact that he is here, you and Jungkook spend another hour talking to the manufacturing team, and then manage to get the in hand documentations of work orders. After settling inside the empty cubicle, you look at Jungkook who is already eagerly jumping into the documentations. “Hey. Are you here to help me?”

Jungkook looks at you, avoids your eyes and clears his throat. “No, of course not. Why would I? What’s in it for me? You’re talking nonsense now, Y/N.”

“But this shouldn’t be your job to go to the plant and check all the data.” You whisper, more to yourself while looking at the overwhelming stack of papers. “Why are you doing this?”

He suddenly stops, and looks at you with all seriousness painted on his eyes. “Don’t sweat on it, Y/N. Let’s just finish this and get to the bottom of it asap, okay? I am here to help.” Jungkook whispers and manages to silence your retaliation. Yes, you know you are seriously in need of help right now. Doing this alone will not be as helpful as having Jungkook with you, especially having to present the result by tomorrow afternoon—it makes no sense to do it alone.

Two months worth of documentation is a lot and overwhelming. And even after six hours working on it, you can only focus on the amount of work you still need to go through. The looming pain inside your head is not helping either.

“Hey, hey, you are pale, Y/N. What’s wrong?” Jungkook instantly stops when he detects you are unmoving, resting on your chair while closing your eyes. You yourself do not know why you are feeling so unwell today. “Hey, you haven’t eaten, right? Damn it, your blood pressure—wait here, I’ll grab you something to eat.”

Ah, that must be it. You just realized you haven’t eaten anything today beside one slice of bread in the morning. Especially with the low blood pressure, it must be taking a toll on you. But one thing that catches your attention is the fact Jungkook remembers your condition even after all these years—it settles strangely inside your chest.

In no time he is already back with a paper bag. “Here, I brought you this. Let’s eat in the pantry.” He immediately holds you by the shoulder, helping your weak legs to walk to the pantry. After ensuring you are sitting well, he opens the food box and juice and offers you the utensils. “I bought the first thing I saw, this should be good for your blood pressure. Eat.”

You nod thankfully and proceed to eat. After three spoons and a few minutes, you can finally breathe clearly. But as you see that Jungkook is just looking at you expectantly, you feel severely self-aware. “You’re not eating too?” You ask shyly.

Jungkook smiles and scratches his nape abashedly. “Sorry, ‘was so rushed that I forgot to buy one for me.”

He forgot to buy one for himself but buy this one for you? You instinctively offer him the food. “Eat this, then. We can share.”

Jungkook kindly rejects with a smile. “No, I’ll buy something else. Yours is too healthy for me.” He jokes and walks out of the pantry. Finally alone, you stare at the food in front of you, somehow frowning.

“I really think we should go back.” Jungkook stubbornly says after the nth time debating whether you should stay in the office or go back to your two hours away apartment. The answer should be easy—you have to stay back since tomorrow you will be meeting another plant team. Especially since it’s already seven in the evening, and the plant is closing off soon. “But you need to rest! Stop forcing your body, you moron. You seriously can be sick because of your stubbornness, you know?”

“I’ve been through this! You should’ve seen me in college, I do this every single time. I’m good and alive now. See?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, folding his arms to his chest. “Really? And tell me how’d it go again?”

You wince at the remembrance that you were bedrested more than you’re proud of, all because of your bad habits of staying late and overworking yourself. A question arises inside your head, but you briskly push it away. “You know Jungkook, you’re worse than my aunt, you know that?”

He giggles, showing his bunny teeth that somehow knocks the air off your chest. That heartfelt smile, you remember it like it was yesterday. “If you want, we can stay near here somewhere and continue the work. You need to sleep, and in the morning we can go back to the plant.”

“I’ll check the nearest hotel. Get ready, after this we’ll leave, okay?” He says while walking further from your desk. You bite your lips, silently nodding.

Suddenly, your phone rings. It’s Namjoon. You gasp, remembering that you haven’t let him know you are going to be away for work. “Hello, Namjoon?”

“Hey, where are you? I went to your desk two times today, thinking you had a meeting or anything. You haven’t even returned my calls or messages.” He hisses with obvious worry lacing his voice. “When will you be home?”

“Ah, I don’t think I’m going home today. I’m at the plant, have urgent work to finish so I’ll stay in a nearby hotel.”

“Is it safe? Are you okay? Do you want me to pick you up?” The worry and hurry instantly doubles the moment he heard you’ll be staying far away. You giggle, noticing how Namjoon is already too accustomed in taking care and worrying about you.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to worry. By the way, Jungkook is also here—”

“Jungkook?” He immediately cuts you, clearly confused. “The Jeon Jungkook? Your archenemy?”

“Yup.”

Two seconds of silence. “And he’ll be staying with you? In the same hotel?”

“The same hotel, yes! But not the same room. I know what you’re thinking, Namjoon, but it’s nothing—”

Namjoon tauntingly laughs that makes you totally self-conscious of your own skin. “Ah, the beautiful, old devil’s tango you both play. I have nothing to worry about, then. Tell me how it goes, okay? Bye, Y/N, remember to use protection. I’m not ready to be an uncle.”

“The fuck—”

But Namjoon is already cut off, and now you are staring harshly at your phone, your grasp is sucking the life out of your phone. Fuck Namjoon! You know you should never trust a guy who literally ruined a good pair of sunglasses he just bought. Seriously.

“I got one.” Jungkook suddenly interrupts your busy thoughts, walking to your side with a large frown in his lips. “But can you believe it? He said there is a concert near here tomorrow so all the rooms are full beside one large suite, and the other nearest hotel is like eleven kilometers away. What do you think?”

At his statement, your sight is suddenly blurry—all you can think about is fucking Namjoon and what he just said to you.

Ugh, you hate how statistics shows that he is often right, like 95% of the time...

Thinking you have no other choice than to get the one room left, you accept your fate that you have to be in one room with Jeon Jungkook for the rest of the night. Even if the suite only has one king-size bed, you get a compensation of a large suite that the distance you have with him may be kept well—and Jungkook agreed that he will not make any funny business on you after you ultimately warn him that you’ll be submitting charges if he even tries to.

“Y/N, I am not a sexual offender or anything. I will not do anything against your consent.” Jungkook sighs for the nth time as a reply to your threat of stabbing him with a fork. Again. “But it’s a different case if you’re willing…” You instantly send a lethal punch to the guy’s shoulder until he whimpers of pain. “What the—that hurts! I was kidding!”

“I was not kidding.” You roll your eyes, folding your arms on your chest. “This is a bad idea. I don’t even know what I should wear. I don’t want to sleep in my work clothes—and I have to be in a room with a pervert. Can’t you just sleep outside?”

He smirks while stealing glances at you. “You can always sleep naked and I won’t be complaining.”

“Fuck you.”

Jungkook greasily winks at you. “With pleasure.”

You groan in disgust. “God, you’re still the same, annoying piece of shit you were a few years back. I can’t believe this.”

“Well, you dated this piece of shit years ago, so…”

You look at him weirdly. Dated? What is he saying now.. “We were not dating. It was just a fling, you know it.”

Jungkook stares at you, with undeciphered emotions painted on his eyes. “We.. we weren’t?”

“No.”

He clears his throat, his cheeks are suddenly turning red. Your eyebrows slant at the thick air between the both of you. “Y-yes. Yes, of course it wasn’t. I was joking.” He continues with a forced laughter.

You slowly nod, clearing your throat out of sheer awkwardness. What happened between the two of you that time—it was a mere fling. It took nearly months to admit it was just that and nothing more, and now why is he here saying that it’s something more? He probably is just messing with your head, so no need to overthink whatsoever. That’s what got you inside the mess in the first place anyway.

After safely parked in the hotel lobby, you are about to walk out when Jungkook stops you. “I have a change shirt here, you can wear that to sleep. I believe there is a boutique here, so you can buy it for work tomorrow.”

He gives you a pair of clean shirt and pants, while you are only able to look at him with an unknown feeling in your chest. All these things—it feels too familiar to be true. You are unable to resist reminiscing the past. “You remember when I ran away from my house that time? I forgot to bring anything—and you lent me your shirt that time.”

Jungkook looks at you in evident shock, until a smile is suddenly formed on his lips. “Of course I remember. You were crying at that time, I was so panicked. You were wearing my shirt for like.. A full week.”

You giggle, smiling to yourself. Your parents were fighting again at that time, it was because of you. Your mother wants to take you back to Seoul, while your father wants you to stay in the states with him. You were so angry at that time, the fact that they weren’t even thinking to discuss it with you first so you fled, begging Jungkook to accompany you. That’s how you spend a full week running away with him bringing nothing to change into.

“I still can’t believe I stayed in your parent’s house for a full week without them finding out. That’s like… super mind blown.” You giggle again, remembering the time you stayed in his family house. It is undoubtedly one of the best times of your life, sneaking inside Jungkook’s house, staying in and having to spend all your days with him.

“It was crazy.” Jungkook breathes at you, smiling so wide his bunny teeth are visible. “I was so happy that time.”

Suddenly realizing how real it all gets after the unexpected nostalgia, you clear your throat trying to manage your emotions in. You really need to get your head straight. “Wow, this got mushy real quick, right? Let’s—let’s just go in.”

After a good ten minutes, you are settling inside your shared room with Jungkook. It was definitely larger than you think, so it was comforting to say the least. All because you cannot trust yourself when he’s around, and the fact that you’re starting to tolerate the guy isn’t helping either.

“I’m starting on the documentation, you take a shower first.” Jungkook mutters while settling himself on the corner of the room. You nod, and whilst getting ready with the pair of clean clothes he lent you, you catch Jungkook staring.

“What are you staring so intently at, you freak.” You snort and Jungkook chuckles while shaking his head.

“Nah, just remembered the old times. ” He smiles and suddenly you forget how to breathe. “You were so… pretty.”

Your heart literally skips a beat at how unreal everything is, but then are reminded of something that immediately makes you feel like an idiot for thinking he might mean it. “Didn’t you think like that because we just had a shower sex that time?”

Jungkook immediately blushes at your upfront mention. He most definitely did not expect that. “No, I wasn’t thinking—damn, Y/N, how can you say that!”

Rolling your eyes, your hand moves to slide the bathroom door. “Whatever, I’m going to shower now. Don’t even think about moving even a muscle from there.”

Jungkook sighs at your non-stop cautiousness, but is still unable to get that one last kick in. “You sure you can do it alone? I can help you shower, you know. ” He teases mischievously which you instantly answer by flipping him off. But you know the smile is too wide—you are enjoying this light banter too much now.

After having a very delightful bath, you walk out while drying your hair with a towel. Staying true to his words, Jungkook is seated still on the sofa, eyes not even blinking—too focused on the work in front of him. You move to his side, carefully resting your hands on his shoulder that he instinctively jumps on his seat. “Sorry to interrupt, but you should take a shower first. It must be suffocating still wearing that.”

Jungkook seems flustered, and immediately rises. “Yes, okay. I’ll be a second, then we can start. You should...rest a bit.”

Sitting on the couch he sat on, you stare at nothing in particular when your ringtone is heard. You mindlessly open your phone and find it’s Hoseok on the other side, pinging you endlessly—of course about you spending the night with Jungkook. You hiss just thinking about Namjoon literally can't keep his mouth shut, so instead, you leave him a fuck off emotion and move to open another chatting app, strangely miss chatting with your anonymous friend. Maybe you should update him about another conflict you are having right now, having been forced to be around the one you had a huge crush a few years back.

blueberry_25 : hiiiiiiiiiiii are you there? [20:15]

Right after sending the message, suddenly a ringtone is heard—it must be Jungkook’s phone. Shrugging the fact, you send another message, and Jungkook’s phone is ringing again. What is this coincidence? Why is his phone ringing at the same time you send yours?! The possibility of Jungkook being paired as your anonymous friends literally makes you dizzy beyond words, and you quickly move to grab his phone from his office bag, trying to detect if your notification is there. Fuck, fuck! If he really is your anonymous friend, you’d literally run away and sink yourself in the nearest waters. You’d rather set yourself on fire than having to spend another second around him.

Picking up his phone with your heart beating unhealthily fast, but all you see in his notification is Hoseok’s messages. You scroll slowly on his notifications, but fortunately nothing about your message is seen. You sigh deeply in reassurance. God, that was close.

Realizing how improper it is to be preying on his privacy, you clear your throat and put the phone back on the desk. Fuck, you are really shameless. But in your defense, it’s really a matter of life or death, because you have no idea whether you’d rather spend another second breathing when knowing you’ve been talking to Jungkook about Jungkook all these times. But seeing that there’s no notification, you feel slightly assured. Slightly.

Yet to think about it, he is using the basketball keychain you gave him a few years back and it makes you feel incredibly unsettled. Why is he wearing this? He changed his phone and really went through the hard work to still keep something he hated the first time receiving? You even thought he threw the keychain away after receiving it.

“Hey, what are you looking at?”

At the sudden low minister you look up in surprise, seeing Jungkook walking out of the shower, still with wet hair, wearing a white shirt and a pair of shorts that looks really comfortable, but not really for you as a silent bystander. Fuck Jungkook and his incredible charm!

“Is it my phone?” Jungkook asks, eyebrows scrunched.

Suddenly realizing that you are cornered by his great smell, you are stuttering to even let out an answer. “I’m-i’m sorry! Your phone rang and I thought it was something important, and—”

“You shouldn’t check my phone, really.”

Remembering how Jungkook hated to have anyone messing with his privacy, you wince internally and prepare for his wrath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I swear.”

At your regretful gesture, Jungkook sighs and rests himself on the space beside you. “It’s okay. Just.. just don’t do it again. I don’t want you to be shocked to see what’s in there.”

Seeing an opportunity now that he has relaxed a bit, you push him by the shoulder with your own with a mischievous smile. “It’s okay, I’ve seen your porn collection. Nothing will really shock me at this point.”

Waiting for Jungkook to respond to your laughter, but instead you only find him gazes at you with indiciphered emotions. “Why? Is there anything wrong?”

“No, It’s.. it’s just weird. Actually the first time you acknowledge our past without wanting to rip my head off my body.”

At that, you find your gaze falling back to the basketball keychain on his phone. “You’re using that lame ass keychain you hated so much now?”

You remember that time you went to an old market with your friends the morning of your third date with Jungkook, seeing a cute basketball chain and you instantly remembered how much Jungkook always wanted to play basketball even if he was in a football team, so you bought that keychain for him. He begrudgingly received it with so much complaints, about how he didn’t like any accessories for his phone, or how he literally played football, or how it didn’t match his fashion concept, and you haven’t even seen him use it… until now.

“Yup. I have been using it since… you left actually.” Jungkook looks down to his phone, and you look at him with a contorted face.

“Why?”

Jungkook looks at you, staying silent for a good ten seconds while you bite your lips, wondering if you are ready to hear whatever he’ll say—cause any scenario playing in your head is just a trainwreck of mess after mess—until he answers with a heavy sigh of distress. “I’ll answer that later. Let’s just.. Work now.”

Silently thankful that he decides not to answer your pointless question, you agree and proceed with work. It is not exceptionally hard to focus on your work when the deadline is just around the corner, and you are thankful Jungkook is very helpful and kind with everything. But after a few hours spent working, from the corner of your eyes Jungkook is massaging his sore neck with contorted face. You know why—he severely strained his neck muscle during a practice a few years back, and will always feel pain whenever he is overworking himself, like he is right now.

“Hey, you should take a rest.” You tap his shoulders with worried gaze. “Your neck must be killing you right now. I can continue, there’s just a few of these left.”

Jungkook really wants to refuse your mindful offering, but the pain is disagreeing with him. So albeit half-heartedly, he moves to rest on the bed. “Laying on the bed would only worsen the pain, though..” You whisper to yourself, somehow still vividly remember everything.

“You want me to massage you?”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. “Are you serious?”

You are fumbling with the hem of Jungkook’s shirt you wear and hesitantly nod. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself… Because… you’re my ride tomorrow to Seoul! We really need to get back right after, so—”

Jungkook nods with a thin smile, and you decide to shut up and just move closer to his side with a bottle of baby oil from your bag. After smearing a few drops on his neck, you proceed to move your fingers to give slight pressure around his neck—just the way you remember it.

“Now I know why you still smell like that. You’re still using that baby oil.” He hums in delight and you inevitably smile. The fact that he still remembers sends warmth to your chest.

After spending a good ten minutes massaging his upper neck, you notice that the neck area of his t-shirt is wet with the oil. “Ah, your shirt..”

“It’s okay. Are you done?”

You bit your lip. Not really, you know by the look of it the pain is still far from being off, but you don’t know what you should do. The convenient way is to have Jungkook out of his shirt, but then you’d literally be out of your mind. You most certainly do not have the capacity to do with a shirtless Jungkook, right on such a closed space, especially on a bed. Even thinking about it makes you feel rightfully ridiculous.

“You’re still in pain, though…”

“Ah, this is okay.” Jungkook gives you a comforting smile, trying to move his head, “I’m now as good as—Ow!”

Now you don’t even know how can that man survive another day being this careless. He is moving his head excessively only to prove his lies and end up with more pain. Really Jungkook-like. Sighing, you pull on his shirt. “Take off your shirt, you moron. I’ll massage you.”

At your bold statement, Jungkook literally shivers on your grasp. “No, It’s all well. You don’t need to—”

Greatly unimpressed, you warn him not to reason with your request and just by your stare, he begrudgingly complies. “But don’t laugh. I haven’t been working out recently, super swamped at work so if you just laugh, even a little, I’ll leave you here to take the bus alone to Seoul tomorrow.”

Giggling at his pouts, Jungkook moves to open his shirt and instantly lay on his stomach on the bed. “Don’t see it!”

“Why! Are you shy at me now? You literally used every chance to be shirtless back then.” You chuckle and mischievously poke him around the waist with your forefinger. “Why are you shy? You six pack no more?”

Jungkook buries his head on the pillow, while you still proceed to poke him repetitiously with your fingers. “Stop it!” He groans yet you disregard it without any further thoughts.

“You’re nooo fun! Don’t be shy Kookie, even if you’re bloated, I—Ah!”

Jungkook growls at your constant bother, and spends no other second to pull you around to secure you around his grasp, bare chest just a breath away from yours.

“Are you seriously going to do this now? Don’t you know how crazy I was just to be around you for the night?”

At his deep stare prodding at the depth of your minds, you feel terribly heated. “What-what are you saying..”

“Are you seriously not seeing this, Y/N?” He slowly breathes. “It’s hard. To be around you again, and trying to hold myself from thinking about what could have happened with us.” Is he seriously addressing what happened with your relationship before?

“What?”

“You asked why I still use that keychain you gave? You really wonder why?” He asks in unpredicted determination that it terrifies you. “It’s because what we had meant that much. You, me, us—we were so happy. Or at least, I was.”

Like it’s not surprising enough, he is apparently not done. “Being with you, I’d never trade that for anything. I was doubtful it even happened—you left so quickly and I need a reminder that it did happen. We happened.”

Realizing that he indeed is going to unveil anything that happened in your past, you weakly push him away, trying to create a safe distance in between. But of course it’s no match with his unbelievable strength. “Jungkook...”

“I know I was a jerk, Y/N. I was childish, foolish, I was an idiot and I did not think about your feelings. I did not consider that you must’ve had a reason to leave the country, we were fighting like crazy, but—I would’ve understood if I had known the reason, you know? And I start to wonder about the what ifs, will everything be different with you and me?”

You look up to him gloomily, the pain in your chest is unbearable now that he is opening up the past. You remember everything like it was yesterday—how infatuated you were with each other, how beautiful was the time of being in such love with him, how heartbroken you were to find out you had to follow your mother after the divorce and go back to Seoul, and how instead of clearly stating why, you and Jungkook had a huge fight that literally lasts for years and until now.

The sadness momentarily engulfs you, that you instinctively respond to the sentence you’ve been repeating to yourself these whole time. “Well then, maybe we are just not meant to be.”

Jungkook glares at you, not liking a bit that you had to pull that card with him. “Don’t you fucking say that. What we had meant that much to me, and I loved you so much, Y/N. Why can’t we just—” You know it was a past tense, he said he loved you. But why does that hurt? Unexpectedly a thought crosses your mind, and you speak faster than you think.

“Jungkook, what happened with that girl?”

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “What girl?”

You look down, unable to see him right in his beautiful, doe eyes.“That finance girl—the one coming home with you when clearly taxi exists—what happened that night?”

Jungkook clears his throat, finally getting what you’re saying. “Ah, her. No, I had Jimin take her home that night.”

“Why?”

Jungkook bite his lips, it’s obvious that he is conflicted to answer. Ten seconds pass until he finally opens his voice to answer. “Because she was talking shit about you, and I don’t like it.”

“You what? Seriously?!” Are you hearing correctly? Jungkook seriously abandoned all his mighty ways with girls just because someone is talking shit about you? “It’s inevitable, and you know I don’t give a shit what she thinks about me. You don’t have to do that—I can’t believe this.”

“Y/N, don’t overthink it. Even if we are off to a rocky start and you might hate me, you’re still my friend. I won’t let anyone talk shit about my friends, especially you.”

The way he speaks, it is full of sincerity and succeeds in melting your whole being. The way he cares about you, you hate to admit that you still like it too much. You can’t believe that you are still this reactive for anything regarding him.

Another seconds of comfortable silence passes and somehow, you get comfortable just laying there with him. Even your heartbeat is too fast for your likings, yet the familiarity is what keeps you on spot. You start reminiscing those beautiful times when it’s just you and him, the feelings you get whenever he looks at you like this—it feels amazing.

“What happens to your mother? Is she okay now?” Jungkook carefully asks, like he is testing the water. His palms are soft on your back, featherly soothing it with his whole deliberation.

You hum with a faint nod. “Yup, she is recovering well. My aunt and grandma are also very helpful with the therapy, so...yes. How did you know, by the way?”

“Well, after you left I… I just got around with your friend. She actually explains your condition and.. then I try to dig around for you as well. I found your social media and really wanted to message you, but.. Yeah, I never got to.”

What Jungkook does not explain is how much time he spends on his phone, typing and retyping his words to send you, but never got the courage to. After knowing what happened to you and your family—especially about your mother’s illness, he felt overwhelmingly guilty beyond words. He took it on you, taking all his disappointment for the false information he made for himself, without thinking what you might have felt. He deserved it, he deserves everything that happened to him. Being miserable, chased with the guilt feeling rooting on his back, it might be just the right price he must pay for letting you down, disappointing you the way he did.

“I am sorry, Y/N. If I can take back what I said, I would. In a heartbeat.” He whispers and you understand how much he means it. At that time, it’s even difficult to think he is still the same Jungkook who hurted you back then. He changes so much, and hopefully for the better.

“What about you? Everything is good back in the states?” You ask, resting your palm on his bare arm and you can sense how Jungkook is tense, but instantly relaxes after your hand is safely settled. “Your family is still there?”

“Yup. Family is there, only me here.”

You hum, fidgeting your fingers resting on his arm. You really want to ask one question that has been running in your mind since four months ago.“If I ask why you moved to Seoul, would you answer honestly? Like.. I know what you said to your peer, about the great offer whatsoever, but… there must be something else, right? There’s literally no good reason why you should move to somewhere new and not even lots of people you know here..”

Jungkook gives you a thin smile. “I.. I just needed a fresh start. My life there, everything that’s been going on with my family, my friends were too… exhausting. I just—I wanted to see how far I could go on my own.”

“Something happened with your family?” You curiously asks, suddenly curious about his last statement. You know how ruthless his father was with his ambitions for his only son, directly lining him up for the best school in the states and already planning all his future for him, including entering one of the most sought up corporate as well.

“Yup. You know, I don’t hate his plans. What I dislike is the way he single-handedly does everything for me. It was so stressful.” Jungkook whispers, more to himself. “He wants me to go Investment Banking, but I don’t want that. He promises that he can make me in Forbes list, or whatever it was he said, but I don’t want that too.”

“So I planned on moving out of the city, but I don’t know where or how. Then the idea to go back to Seoul arised. Something happened—the decision time was quite short. What turns out to be a joke turns into a serious option. Having dual citizenship really eases my access back to Korea, and my grandparents and cousins are also here so.. Yeah. That’s about it.”

You nod in understanding, cause everything he said seems plausible. But one thing still doesn’t settle right. “But.. why my company? You know I’ve been working here for a while now, right? It’s like… too much of a coincidence it scares me.”

“If I say it’s all the grand plan of the universe, will you believe me?” He lightly jokes, eyes turning into crescent moons. You roll your eyes, but nevertheless giggle.

“I think that’s enough for now. You must be sleepy, Y/N. Go to sleep, in a few hours we still need to head back to the plant and directly go back to Seoul. Okay?”

You are expecting Jungkook to move away and leave you to sleep on the bed, but he is still there, holding you close, and you are not complaining at all. You are conscious that he is waiting for you to shoo him away, but you’d not even dare to do it. Cause being with him again, his large palm caressing your back, his breath tickling your face, everything seems like a very vague, far dream.

Another twenty minutes and you are already far too deep in slumber, Jungkook smiles at your sleeping face. You seem so at peace, and he is loving every second just laying here with you.

But the rest of work ain’t gonna fix itself, so he is still groaning, and wakes up and moves back to the sofa. Getting a canned coffee from his duffle bag, Jungkook quickly gulps an adequate amount until he is sure he won’t be sleeping for a while now. Trying to relax his strained neck, his finger moves back to the laptop in front of him.

“Let’s finish this once and for all, shall we?”

Due to staying up until three in the morning, Jungkook wakes up around nine to a cup of coffee in the kettle, along with a thank you note for finishing the rest of the work and promises you’d do anything he asks in return. You also permit yourself for going to the plant first. At that, a slight disappointment arises inside his chest and he doesn’t even know why. Jungkook heaves a deep breath, waking up and directly going straight to the shower.

Not even thirty minutes later, Jungkook is already parked on the plant, walking inside to the office side where he expects you will be. But he is met with disappointment, because you’re not there—not even your belongings are in sight.

At once, he feels terribly anxious. What happened to you? Where could you be? He tries dialing your number, but is met with no answer. When one of the supply chain teams he was talking to yesterday is walking beside him, he stops her right away. “Hey… Did you see Y/N? Was she here?”

“Y-yes. She is currently meeting with the team leader.” She mutters nervously, especially with Jungkook’s hardened stare prodding at her.

“Team leader? Where?”

“They’re meeting downstairs, probably in the cafe? I don’t really know..”

Finally self-conscious about how freaky he has been, Jungkook quickly mutters his thank you and descends to the elevator. Team leader? He doesn’t know why he feels terribly on the edge with the fact she is meeting the team leader. Probably due to something he heard yesterday…

“Y/N, you’re disappointed, right? The team leader is in the plant right now since there's a production problem. Tell me, you actually wanted to see him, right?”

That was that a fellow supply chain team was whispering to you during the discussion yesterday, which you answered with a lousy no. It did not settle right with him and now he is proven right. Who is this team leader, actually?

While in the elevator, he swiftly reaches for his work phone, trying to find a certain supply chain team leader. He squints his name, finding a name that certainly is not too strange if he thinks about it...

Kim Taehyung.. When did he hear this name before?

“I told you I can pick you up from the hotel and then we can get a proper breakfast. Why are we even meeting at this lousy, overpriced office cafe.” Taehyung fizzles with a deep pout while cutting the maple syrup pancake he ordered. You thinly smile, stirring the cup of chamomile tea on your grasp. It’s certainly strange to be in the exact situation with him as it was during your college days.

“It’s okay, I can’t stay long anyway. I just got a few things clarified from your team and I’ll be on my way back to the headquarters.”

“Really? That fast?” The pout on his lips deepens. “If I know you are going to leave so soon, we should’ve done something last night. I don’t even understand why you checked in a hotel instead of staying with me. It’s way cheaper and easier, you know?”

“Taehyung, you know I can’t do that…” You warn him, feeling cautious of the overly familiar sense between the two of you. It is dangerous, and you don’t want to ruin everything with you and him. Again. You will not foolishly repeat history.

Noticing how tense the air has become after your last sentence, he suddenly leans his palm over yours, eyes filled with regret. “Y/N, please don’t be like this. We are friends before anything else. What happened, it was in the past. I don’t want to lose you like this.”

The irony of hearing that too many times now literally put a painful grin in your lips. Why the fuck men keeps on saying that to you these days? Fucking annoying.

“I get it. We are friends. So please keep the line, Taehyung. I don’t want to lose you as a friend like this too.”

Realizing that not even a hint of mirth on your face, he realizes that he indeed has crossed the line. Taehyung immediately pulls his hand away, clasping it on his lap. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. But can we talk about work, now?” You sigh in distress. You know by the look of it, Taehyung has millions of words he wants to say, but you don’t want to hear it. You just had enough with all the drama.

Taehyung was your friend. Your first friend in Seoul. Your first friend in university. Your best friend. At that time, he helped you a lot with adapting to the new environment. He helped you with every part of your life, your study, your family, everything. He was the son your mother never had—you were that close to him. At the beginning, regardless of what people said that the both of you would end up being in love with each other, it was easy to disregard it with a simple laugh. Because Taehyung had a girlfriend back in his hometown. Because you were busy with working part-time to make a living, and love was your last priority.

4 years being in a platonic relationship was easy when it’s with him. You graduated together, sealed with a picture of Taehyung kissing your cheek in front of your alma mater hanging on your living room’s wall, you never knew something indeed has changed with you and him. Not until one night he confesses he wants to try something more serious with you, for you to seriously consider him as a boyfriend. And as easy as it was, you agreed. Because in all sincereness, you knew you’d do anything for him, and even if you wanted to be with someone, it just had to be him.

Having the same dream, both of you applied for the same company, and were accepted in the same team. You were working alongside him, and seriously could not be happier. Day by day, you start to gain feelings for him, and it was as easy as expected—because he was a very great guy, everything you wished him to be. Until one day, an email arrives in your personal inbox, filled with cursive words accusing you were the one Taehyung was cheating with. From his ex-girlfriend.

At that time, you directly confronted Taehyung for an explanation. And you found out that before graduation, he measly broke up with the girl through a freaking message and blocked every contact with her right after. And when you thought everything couldn't go worse, more digging led you to find out that he broke up only after you agreed to try something serious with him.

You were heartbroken. Even if you knew that in his defense, he thought that nothing was going to work with his ex-girlfriend for way before they broke up, but it did not justify anything that he did for her, or for you. You expected more of him, and were excessively disappointed. And even when you tried to forget it and move on like what it was before, you can’t shake the feeling of betrayal. That’s why you decided to call it off.

Taehyung was disappointed in your easy choice of way out, it was as clear that both of you are not on the same page with everything. Knowing that both of you couldn’t just disregard everything and keep on being professional at work, Taehyung directly applied after an opening for a plant team was announced—and in no time he left. Just like that.

“Hey, are you okay? Y/N, don’t be like this. I won’t talk about it again—let’s just talk about work. Okay?” Taehyung asks in worry at your deep and long silence. You dubiously nod, realizing that you cannot keep on being like this. That’s why you reach out for your laptop, intending to start on questions for your report.

“So, is your mother okay now?” Taehyung asks, and you know he is sincerely curious instead of making small talks. You kind of understand though, since your mother saw him nearly everyday as he was practically glued to your side.

“She is doing much better now. And she asked about you too, you know.”

Taehyung immediately smiles at that. “Yeah, of course I know. I was literally the best child she could ever have, since her daughter was busier than the president himself.”

You roll your eyes but still chuckle at the remembrance. “Shut up. I was working! And you know, you are the weird one. You kept on hanging out in my house, even without me. My aunt and grandma were literally in love with you.”

“Yeah, they were so kind and lovely. How could I not miss them.” Taehyung smiles more to himself. You can detect how sincere he is, and the guilt is slightly eating you up. If you weren’t such a selfish person, maybe everything would be different. Maybe you and him would be different.

“Then come again to my house. I’m still in my apartment, but I come back to my house once or twice each month. You know my family house is closer to the plant than the headquarters. You should come with me.”

You know that Taehyung seems to be at shock at your unexpected invites—as you too were shocked—but he instantly forms his signature boxy smile and nods in agreement before you could change your mind. “I would love to.”

Suddenly, a ruckus was heard directed from the door. You instinctively turn to the source of the sound, and unexpectedly find Jungkook marching to your side. You immediately stand from your seat, somehow anxious over the fact that you left him in the hotel with only a lousy note to excuse yourself. And probably, the fact that Taehyung is here too.

“Jungkook? Why are you here?”

Jungkook looks at you, then at Taehyung, then at you again, implicitly showing how bewildered he is. “Ah, it’s nothing. I just.. I just want to check where you are. You left so quick from the hotel, so—”

Taehyung immediately stands up from his seat, staring at you while squinting his eyes. “Hotel? He is staying with you, Y/N?! That’s dangerous, why are you—don’t tell me.. You’re not staying in the same room, right?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunched, disliking the fact that Taehyung looks really bothered at the fact that you are staying with him. “So what if we are? Do you have a problem with that?”

You bite your lower lips in distress at both of the guys who look like they are ready to have the showdown of their lives. Fuck, why does this have to happen now?!

If you had any thoughts that Taehyung and Jungkook will be fighting because of you, you were surely an idiot—because right now it’s like you literally don't even exist. Both of those idiots are too busy playing phone games as teams while laughing like maniacs, while you are busy trying to finish all your work before having to rush to Seoul in an hour. Yes, you don’t really have anything left for them to work on, but… it feels difficult when you don’t even understand what they are doing with their damn phones.

“Taehyung, what the hell… you can’t fucking shoot! He was literally in front of you!” Jungkook groans at his phone, then Taehyung kicks him on the shin until the younger guy hiss in pain. You roll your eyes, fucking child they were.

“Jungkook, let’s go. We need to head back to Seoul.”

“Why?! There’s another hour! There’s no need to rush, you know.” Jungkook pleads, yet not even looking at you. Since Taehyung steals a glance at you, he immediately notices you are not in a mood for a joke. At all.

“Five minutes. This will be finished, okay? You can get ready, Y/N.” Taehyung replies calmly and even with deep resentment, you still comply and pack up your belongings.

Just another thirty seconds and Taehyung is cursing before throwing his phone back at the table. “Fuck, I’m dead.”

“That’s because you suck.” Jungkook mocks playfully, and Taehyung rolls his eyes at the childish remarks. Taehyung turns to you scrolling on your phone, looking as unbothered as ever—even if he knows how irritated you are right now. That’s probably on how much he understands you.

“Hey, Y/N. When can we meet your mom?”

Jungkook suddenly chokes on air at that unforeseen statement. What the fuck did he just hear? Why is Taehyung meeting your mother?

Only sending Jungkook weirded out stares, you turn to Taehyung. “I’m planning on going back tomorrow, as I haven’t gone back for weeks. You want to come with me?”

“Sure, that’d be great.” Taehyung nods, literally insensitive to Jungkook’s hazy state as more information comes in.

“Okay, should we meet directly at my mother’s?”

“No, I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. I’m going back to Seoul tonight for a drink with Jimin, Yoongi and Hobi.”

“Ah, drunkard night. Must be fun.” You sarcastically joke and Taehyung is unable to deny as he giggles. Meanwhile on the other side Jungkook’s sight is literally shaking, probably to the current state he is in. Fucking pathetic is what he is.

“So, did you receive my flowers this morning?”

Your mouth and eyes are forming a full circle, remembering the gifts resting on your desk nearly every morning from last week. “That was you?!”

“Yes.” He giggles with reddening cheeks which literally sends flutters inside your chest. Not even once you thought Taehyung would be the one behind those thoughtful gifts. “I just want to give it to you. I hope it’s not a bother.”

“It’s not, but you shouldn’t have…” You suddenly feel guilty for not realizing it any sooner. Of course it’s him, who would be? But by the fact how bad your vague relationship ended nearly a year ago, it’s hard to imagine him being the one sending those.

“I want to! Don’t be like that, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Abruptly the sound of chair feet against the floor is heard as Jungkook stands up. He looks at you with an undeciphered smile, yet you literally can’t even look him straight in the eyes. God, you don’t want everything to be like this in the first place. “Let’s go, Y/N. I’m done.”

“Good. You should go, the traffic can be bad.” Taehyung nods in understanding, insensitive to Jungkook’s killing aura that you literally are on the edge of. He quickly walks out of the room without even a goodbye, and you nervously look back at Taehyung again.

“Taehyung, I’ll go now.”

In a blink, you find Taehyung is now hugging you closely inside his arms. It doesn’t last long though—and you literally don’t know what to feel about that. Your feelings are too complicated.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Be safe.”

You hum and directly walk out, not even seeing Jungkook right on the door. Slightly panicked, You walk outside to the elevator and he is there, hands buried in his pocket, his jaw clenched and eyes that literally screams fire. Everything literally makes you dizzy.

God, you don’t really know how you’d make it a few hours being with him...

And fuck were you right, because after thirty minutes settling inside his car on the way to Seoul, there’s no sound beside the radio between the two of you. The air was so tense like you can slice it and choke it down your throat, and probably it would be better rather than having to face Jungkook’s expected silence at you.

“Jungkook, it’s been half an hour. Are you going to ignore me like this?”

Jungkook sighs, but still not sparing you even a glance. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“Then talk. No one is stopping you.” He irks.

“But I want to talk to you without that scary face you are having right now.”

“Y/N, I don’t want to be like this. Please let me be angry in peace.” He finally looks at you with a hint of sadness on his eyes. “I don’t want to say anything I’d regret.”

Another five minutes of silence until you decide to speak out your mind. “Do you want to know what happened with me and Taehyung?” You carefully ask, he looks at you and lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“Why do you think I want to know that?”

At the bluntness, you feel completely ashamed of yourself for thinking and assuming way beyond you should. You duck your head in shame. “Sorry.”

Jungkook then realizes he has been too far with his angry game, and instantly reaches out to you in regret. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean that.”

But it’s too late because you are already crying and you don’t even know why. You’re usually not this much of a crybaby. “Fuck, you are really that self centered, you know? How can you say that? Is it too wrong for me to assume that whatever the fuck you are angry about is because of me and Taehyung?”

Jungkook locks his hand with you, and even if you are struggling to let your hands go, you are still too weak compared to him. “I’m sorry. I was angry at myself, Y/N. I was angry because I know you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve my nonsensical wrath. I was too selfish, I’m sorry.”

“You are.”

“I am.”

“You fucking are.”

“I am. So please accept my apology, hmm?”

Another thirty minutes of sulking, while Jungkook doesn't even say another word and only moves to massage through your hands. You know how apologetic he was, and he probably doesn’t mean it as well. And since you know that your wrath is already dissipating, you proceed with your story, not even caring whether Jungkook wants to listen or not.

So you go through everything. Every single detail about what happened with you and Taehyung. And it would be a lie to say that it doesn’t affect Jungkook even a little bit, because seeing your gleaming eyes and your voice telling every word about your relationship with him, Jungkook knows how important he is to you, and how much of the past you have together with him written on the pages of your lives. The relationship you have with him, lasts a whole four years and even more. How can he even consider to compete with that?

And one question does bother his mind. Do you still love him?

But no. He is not taking that risk. He doesn’t want to break down now. So he lets out a statement that somehow, even with the huge consideration, still succeeds in killing all will inside his body.

“He was really special, right?” Jungkook asks as a past tense.

You look down to your lap.

“Yes, he really is.”

You are already settling inside your blanket, ready to drift off to sleep yet your mind is wide awake. Everything is so overwhelming lately, you don’t even know what to do with yourself. Everything about Taehyung and Jungkook is more than confusing, and you really don’t like yourself right now.

“Argh!” Just when you are kicking the blanket off your legs, suddenly a loud knock is head on your front door. Who could it be? Is it Namjoon? But you are a bit uncertain it is him, since Namjoon does not usually come home this early on a Friday night. Damn it, you really need another activity other than waiting for him to come home like a sad sexless innkeeper.

Another boom on your door and you rush to open it. “Wait!”

But instead of the face of drunk Namjoon on your door, you find Jungkook’s instead. And it could be the last person you expect to be standing in front of your door right now, with a bottle of wine and a pack of cheese.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

He shyly scratches his nape. “Ah, actually I was drinking with my cousin and his girlfriend so I steered clear to give them space and went to your apartment instead. Sorry to disturb you. Were you going to sleep?”

“Was going to, but I can’t sleep.” You answer truthfully, looking back at him. Jungkook is only wearing a black t-shirt with loose pants, his hair is messily tousled yet irritatingly still looks very breathtaking to you, his lips are eye-catchingly shimmering—a habit he adopted from you to deal with dry lips. You immediately feel self-conscious about what you were, an old night dress that doesn’t really do anything except making you feel comfy to sleep.

“Can I come in?” He vigilantly asks after a few minutes of odd silence. You instinctively scoot out of his way and let him walk inside your fortress.

“Your apartment is nice.” He compliments, resting the wine and cheese on the table to walk around the apartment, through the photos and embellishment. “Very cozy. And everything here screams you.”

“Thanks. High chance that’s the reason why Namjoon is very, very vigilant about bringing women back to this apartment, I think.” You joke and giggle, even though your head is filled with anxiety of the fact that Jungkook is visiting your apartment at ten pm. The last time he visited you around this time you couldn’t walk the next morning, so… yeah, you feel entitled to be nervous.

“Let me get the glasses and bottle opener.” You stutter, abruptly walking to your compartment. You let out a few deep breaths, trying to assemble your head straight once again. Fuck, why can’t you just speak like a normal person? It’s just Jungkook for god sake, and he’ll only be here for a drink—probably to celebrate the result of your presentation this evening to the boards. And then he’ll be gone, and you’ll go to sleep. Yet you somehow doubt it.

Walking back, you find Jungkook is settled on your couch, his eyes are looking at the bottle of wine on the table, yet you know those stares are too far and empty. It’s proven with how he is startled when you soundly occupy the seat beside him.

“You okay?”

He glances at you and his lips turn into a thin curve. “I am. Sorry, I was zooming out.”

“It’s fine, but sure you're okay?”

The smile widens until it shows his extraordinary bunny teeth, his palm hovering around your arm. “I am good, but can be better after a glass of this wine. Don’t worry about me now.”

In a short while, a glass of wine is already served on your grasp, while Jungkook is busy picking songs to play on your bluetooth speaker. Right when a smooth violin sound is heard, you reluctantly open up a conversation.

“Thank you.” You lower down your gaze to your fidgeting fingers. “For everything. You literally saved my ass from even getting denounced from my position. I still can’t believe everything could be so messed up.”

“I know it must have been difficult—with Junsu now investigated for supplier fraud.” He whispers slowly. You knew that all the untally reports and data are from Junsu, and now he is being investigated for fraud. It could have been worse, since in the beginning it was you whom the board suspected—since you are the one creating the report—but as what you and Jungkook has proved after going back to plant and going through all the documentation, the lead is now on Junsu.

“Hey. You don’t need to worry. If he’s not doing it, it would be proven.” Jungkook rests his palm over yours, squeezing it a little after seeing the contorts on your face. He is able to easily read how perturbed you are right now with the fact that your teammate is indeed in trouble.

“Yes, you’re right.” You nod after taking a few deep breaths, sipping the tasteful liquid down your throat to subside your anxiety. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

But even still, Jungkook knows it is not effectively working. You are still in possession of the habit he found whenever something deeply bothers your mind. He identified it during your presentation this evening, or the night you ran away after your parents quarreled, even the day both of you were pugnaciously fighting and ended with separation a few years ago.

“Hey.” Jungkook envelopes your quivering fingers and pulls you closer to him, hand buried in your hair. “Please don’t worry. I don’t—I feel terrible when you’re sad.”

And then it was silence. All you can feel is Jungkook’s warmth all over your body, his arm around your shoulder, your head leaning on his shoulder, while your mind is in haze, wandering far, far away. Then you broke off the silence with something that has indeed been bothering you a lot.

“I don’t know since when, but I’m getting weaker every time.”

Jungkook hum as a notion for you to continue. “They say.. They say we should be stronger as we’re getting old. But it’s not for me.” You whisper weakly, holding your fingers together to stop it from quivering. “I hate it. I hate everyday I have to wake up, walking purposelessly. I hate feeling insecure. I hate not knowing where I should go in the long run. I am living, only for the day to pass by. And it’s killing me, that whenever something comes up in my way, I feel.. I feel weak. I’d dry my tears, then spend all the time doubting why I should go through all this pain, but I don’t know any other way.”

You feel every word comes out, Jungkook’s hold around you is tighter. And you’d be crazy not to lean back your every worry to him. “Hey, I understand what you feel. And I think it is a phase in life when we need to rethink everything and start chasing things that make us happy, and let go of the things that are holding us back. Life is about the journey, not a mere destination. No need to rush in anything, hmm?”

You reluctantly nod, agreeing to what he said. What’s inside your head now is only to make lots of money that can sustain your mother’s treatment and family’s lives, and that’s about it. And you love them to death, but you know you don’t want to do this in the long run. Even the sense of accomplishment doesn’t exactly make you happy anymore, and it’s mentally tiring as fuck to be doing something you know that is extracting you from everything you used to love about life. You’re practically a zombie now, with no sense of directions.

“Have you ever felt this way before? Like.. Helpless. And no matter how you think that you should do something about it, you can’t because you’re fucking scared?”

At that, Jungkook smiles and pecks the top of your head. His heart clenched at what you just said, cause that's exactly what he felt before he did something about it. “Yes. I felt that when I was in the States. I was helpless, visionless, and… day goes by only with me taking it for granted, letting myself think that I will never change and I should just suck it in. What they say, I have a great, wealthy family and all—I should be thankful. And that’s also what my father said to me.”

“At one point, I knew I felt humiliated. All I had was given to me, I just had to the bare minimum, and boom—I got it. I knew if I just went with it yet again, I’d go crazy. My father will put me at a gunpoint for what I gained, but I was scared since I was too comfortable.”

You look up to him, feeling the urge to give him comfort somehow. You do realize how contorted Jungkook’s face is now, he is literally so upset that it makes you feel horrible. “I had a fight with my father, as he forced me to move from the small startup I built with my friends to join his partner’s company in Investment Banking. When I rejected, he took a different approach and convinced my friend to cut me off the team. I confronted my father, and it was literally the greatest fight I had with him. Then the plan I purposelessly created became true. I fled to Korea.”

“So..” You whisper, looking down and clear your throat. “Are you still in contact with them?”

“My mother, yes. My father, no.”

“You must be missing them.” You whisper low while caressing his side. “But.. is it worth it? Are you happy now?”

He grins. “It’s worth it, of course—but not yet. But I’m getting there, I think.”

“The more I think about it, being happy is non-negotiable.” You whisper, more to yourself. Before it was just a far dream, but when Jungkook is here beside you to listen, it’s already a true-hearted promise. “And when I get that chance, I will surely prioritize it. At all cost.”

Another twenty minutes of silence just enjoying each other’s warmth, Jungkook’s whine is heard. “Can’t you hug me?”

You mindlessly glance at Jungkook who is now intensely staring you back. But seeing your noticeable confusion, he rolls his eyes and puts your arm around his waist. The blush is inevitable, you are literally holding him with no distance whatsoever. If you just straighten your head, your lips will be locking into his and you’ll lose your breath that easily. Your heart is too fast for your liking, but truth to be told, you wouldn’t trade this moment with him for anything else.

“Did you remember, we literally did this.” Jungkook chuckles, stroking your hair in somehow a very affectionate way. “That time, during the party and you force me to take you in after your parent’s fight. We were back to my room, and then we just hugged it out and you told me everything that happened.”

You nod with a distant smile, remembering how you literally came crying when Jungkook was in the middle of a beer pong with his friends, but he didn’t even wait another minute in complying to your request, seeing how hysterical you were. “Yes. I remembered how after we watched Bruce Almighty. It’s freaking nuts.”

“Let’s watch it again.” He giggles after refilling the glass for wine. “For old time sakes.”

The next five minutes you are scrolling down your netflix, Jungkook is contemplating whether he should ask the question that has been bothering his mind. The alcohol on his spine did help though—it is easier to just go with what he wants to say regardless of the rationality his mind would stop him.

“So tomorrow, you’d be with Taehyung? To your mother’s house?”

Indifferently nodding, you click on the movie. “My mother has been asking a lot about him, and I just reasoned that he moved away and was busy. I don’t want to let her know we’re not… close anymore.”

“Taehyung is actually that important, huh?” Jungkook asks, staring down to his drinks. The fact predictably settles strangely inside his chest, and it is fucking suffocating that he knows he has nothing and no one to blame but himself for feeling this way. “Understandable, though. Four years—I wouldn’t say I am shocked.”

“It is a long time indeed.”

“I hope I have someone like that too.” He stopped for a while, eyes faraway. “So at least I can tell you that I stopped thinking about you after you left.”

That statement literally freezes all your movement—to the point that you think it’s all just your drunk hallucination. “What are you talking about?”

“I never stopped… thinking about you.” He dubiously murmurs, eyes trailed down his lap. “After I broke up, I’m still thinking about us, what could have been, and… regret?”

“Regret?”

“I know this might sound creepy, but.. After you left, I tried finding your whereabouts and what you’re up to. And after knowing what you’ve been through, I felt tremendous regret for being such a jerk to us.”

Suddenly, just when you’re about to turn around as you’re desperate to see through his eyes, he clutches on you, latching on your back. “I lied when I said I loved you, because I am still in love with you, Y/N. I know it’s silly—we were only a month together, not even official—but I just can’t shake the feeling away. Especially after seeing you again, talking to you again now..”

“And if you asked my last night why I worked in your company—it’s because after arriving, I was in a phase where I don’t know what I should do. At least if I work with you, I can see you again, and apologize, but at first we were not in the best term. But even then, I was happy to see you and talk to you again.”

Then, at once, you feel the back of your shirt is soaked wet. Your heart clenched with pain and sadness at how pained Jungkook must have been all these times. “Y/N, I am very sorry…”

“You told me you’re staying! You said you’ll stay with your father, with me here.” Jungkook cried when you told him you needed to move back to Seoul with your mother after the divorce. “You said your mother is horrible, Y/N. You are not doing this for yourself. You can’t leave.”

“Fuck, don’t act like you care about me now, Jungkook. You know, I was always wondering why you suddenly introduced yourself that night, but it’s because of Alex, right? Because I rejected him—and you wanted to check for yourself!”

Jungkook slammed the table in front of him that made you flinch. “Don’t you dare to change the topic. You’ll leave your father, your life here and me, because of your horrible mother that always made you cry, feel alone and horrible. Why are you so naive, Y/N?!”

You were already crying by then, the frustration built up in your chest. You knew the reason was already on the tip of your tongue—your mother is terribly sick and needed you the most—but you couldn’t let it out. Jungkook didn’t deserve to know. “Don’t act like you know me. One month fucking and you already think you can read me like a book? Grow up.”

“One month.. Fucking?” Jungkook weakly whispered, the tears were building up on the corner of his eyes. “Fine. I don’t fucking care about you. Fuck off to wherever, I don’t care.”

“Sure. You only cared about me because of a fucking bet anyway, right?!” You cried, the grief and constant fear of the end approaching, when Jungkook walked away.

It was the end.

The memory of your separation with Jungkook flashes inside your mind like it was just yesterday. You remember every word, every feeling, every tear spent that day. You couldn’t even count how many times you wished everything was different.

Jungkook is crying on your back, and you force to turn and see him right through his eyes. “Apology accepted, Jungkook. I was at fault too. I should’ve been clearer. I should’ve said it better. I am sorry too..”

You wipe his tears with your two palms and hug him, your chest against his, your arm around his waist. “Please don’t cry, hmm?”

Another seconds of light sniffles until he opens his voice. “You know, this is better than what I expected. With how many years has passed in guilt, I could’ve been puking with tears.” He lightly jokes and you giggle. Fuck, how is he so cute now?

“By the way, just in case you forgot—I just said I love you. It still stands.” Jungkook thinly smiles, his fingers fixing the strands of your hair falling in front of your eyes. Your heart is beating unhealthily fast now. “I don’t need you to answer now, of course. I just… I just want you to know.”

“I know.” You whisper softly, leaning into your will to tiptoe and press your lips against his. Jungkook instinctively closes his eyes, feeling the wondrous taste of cherry chapstick and wine from your lips. The feeling is addictive and wondrous that he seriously thinks he is hallucinating right now.

You are about to release the kiss, when his firm palm secures on your back, pressing your waist against his, his lips are chasing yours to engage in another breath-taking kiss. You welcome it at once, arms settling around his neck. “Tell me if you want to stop.” He murmurs into the kiss, but you’re way into cloud nine to stop. You’d be insane to let him go now.

His palm travels south to grab the flesh off your ass and pushes his hips closer to yours—if it’s even possible. You can make out the hard-on he has nurtured for a while now, and instantly suck your breath. “You can feel it, babe? It’s because of you—being such a minx tonight. Are you really going to keep on teasing me like this?”

You grin, feeling the adrenaline rush with the realization that you have Jungkook here, beside you, whispering you all these dirty words to your ear. You shift to press butterfly kisses to his neck all the way to his collarbones—encouraged by the bemoan he is letting out, intending to suck marks on his sun kissed skin until he gruffly pushes you away.

“Who gave you rights to mark me now, huh kitten?” He throatily purrs, swiftly scooping you into his arms, both your legs are crutched around his waist with his painful erection knocking on your clothed entrance. You spend no more second to entangle your lips with his again, his tongue gladly seeking warmth from yours—and god, he feels amazingly sweet, the taste of wine vivid on your taste bud. Fuck, he seriously can’t drive you crazier than this.

“Don’t want Namjoon to see my dry cum on your sofa, right babe?” Jungkook hoarsely wheezes, and those words literally screws all leftover sanity inside of you. Fuck, you missed this so much. Drowned in lust and desperate for friction, you find yourself continuously rubbing your core to his erection, until he paces you for himself. “Stop. I didn’t bring extra pants with me, babe—don’t wanna go home with pants wet with cum now.”

Jungkook hurriedly pushes your bedroom doors and throws you away on bed. “Y/N. Tell me to stop now, or I’ll never get a grip until I can finally have you.”

Instead of giving an answer, you inch closer until your fingers are in contact with his pants’ band. “You need help with that?” You brave yourself to whisper, gazing innocently right to his lust-darken eyes.

“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me.” He gratefully bemoans, as your finger moves to detached his pants and boxer to the ground—his erection immediately springs like never before. It is such a pretty, thick and long dick that your saliva literally pools. You instantly get on your knees, closing with eagerness to have a taste until he stops your advancement by pushing you to the bed.

“Not today, kitten. Maybe tomorrow—I need to have you now or I’ll go nuts.”

You pout, stubbornly moving to give a good caress on the length, satisfied with how Jungkook’s pupil immediately dilates at your ministry. “Are you sure, baby? I can do anything for you, though. My throat is ready for you to choke on.”

“Stop it. I want to be inside you now.” He hastily howls, so close to creaming your palm now that he needs to stop you. Jungkook’s mind is on cloud nine with your warm fingers around his girth, but he realizes he needs to have his dick pushed inside your cunt now, not even your hand or mouth can make it up. “Take off that fucking dress.” He orders.

“Yes, anything for you, sir.” You literally do not know what kind of courage is seeping through your vein, but seeing how affected he is literally made you ecstatic to tease him more. You briskly moves the satin night dress to your head and throws it across the room, baring all your lower body area.

“No underwear? Fuck, kitten, you better not act this carelessly when your roommate is here.” Jungkook breathily irks, enjoying the view of your almost naked body against him, yet spends no more second to detach your bra until your breasts are dangling freely. He immediately sucks a breath at the amazing sight.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Jungkook throatily whispers, more to himself before he engulfs both your breasts with his palm. He moves to pinch your hardened pebbles, feeling high with your moans that is literally a green light inside his mind that you are indeed enjoying his act. He swiftly buries your right nipple inside his mouth, giving it a light suck, flicking it with his skillful tongue which turns you to a moaning mess. You close your eyes, feeling the tension inside your body build up while cradling his face closer to you, your fingers pulling the hair on his scalp. You do not even realize his left hand has left your breast, now moving to circle your bare clit, and you instantly mewl in pleasure.

“What are you so wet for, kitten? Tell me.” He breathily hisses, moving to coat his two fingers with your remnants, dips it inside his mouth and licks it dry. Your pupil dilates at such a dirty act, but still Jungkook is unhappy with your lack of response, he hits your throbbing cunt. “Use your fucking tongue to answer.”

You instantly mewl to reply, albeit stuttering when you feel his forefinger finally buries inside of you. “Of course you, sir. I am wet because of you.”

Jungkook grins in satisfaction, before he wastes no mercy and buries three fingers inside you, stretching you deliciously until you whimper in satisfaction. “So freaking wet, I bet I can slide right in. Are you going to let anyone do this to you, kitten? Hmm?”

“No, sir...” You groggily answer, your head is soaked in all kinds of lust.

“Louder! Let your fucking neighbors hear it.” Jungkook growls, pushing his digits further inside until you claw on his clothed shoulder. Fuck him for still being in his shirt—you’d do anything to mark him now.

“No, sir. Only you can make me like this…”

He sinisterly laughs, pleased with your easy compliance. “You better not be lying, kitten. Don’t you let anyone do this to you, especially fucking Kim Taehyung.”

Your eyebrows immediately scrunched at the name, but it could probably be the last thing you can contemplate now that his fingers are still beautifully moving in and out of your wet cunt. “I will, I fucking will. But get this fucking shirt off and fuck me, sir—I need to feel you bare against me.”

As he is about to enter you, he suddenly freezes. “Do you have a condom here?” He breathily asks, realize that he did not take even one with him—as fucking you was literally the last possibility he could think of before. God, does he really need to stop now?

“I don’t have a condom—but I am on the pill and safe, I swear.” You whisper, the ache on your core starting to cloud your head and better judgement. Fuck, Jungkook better be fast or you’ll be dead by then.

“Me too. I tested myself back in the States, and haven’t been sleeping with anyone since.”

“Really? How can?” You unconsciously ask, seriously flabbergasted with the fact that Jungkook hasn't fucked anyone after he moved into the city. The Jungkook you knew was so much of a god of stamina—he literally lasted five rounds with you before and still managed to have an erection after, when you can’t even feel your legs. He is that crazy for sex.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’ll tell you all about it later, but I need to fuck you raw now or I’ll go insane.” He hurriedly answers, instantly throws his shirt away as his whole body is bare against yours. Jungkook reaches for his dick, as his fingers move to give it a few strokes. He is now coating it with your remnants by hitting your entrance lightly with his dick. Even with such action you are already a moaning mess, as you bit your lips in anticipation.

Yet when the head is about to dip inside you, you reach for the bed sheet, clenching the fabric harshly. You haven’t been sleeping around for months now, you’re sure it’s going to hurt a bit—especially with that excessive size of his.

“How are you so freaking big? Fuck, don’t go too rough on me, Jungkook..” You softly whisper, and Jungkook instantly nods. No matter how crazy and a true dom he is, he would not hurt or go against your consent—that’s just how much he loves and respects you.

Even with the heavy urge to fuck you senseless like he wants to, he surely takes his whole joyful time in making love. His length pushing inside you, stretching you wondrously that the pain turns into pleasure in no time. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks your nipple to keep you on the edge. “Damn, you are wonderful. I can’t believe I was able to live those years without this taste.”

“Fuck, Jungkook.” You moan, biting your lips as you nearly can’t hold yourself from screaming. How can sex with Jungkook be this mindblowing? You had one night stands previously with other person, but sex with him is like on another level—that’s probably what feelings can do to sex. “Faster, now. Don’t hesitate.”

At the invitation, the worries that he’s going to hurt you dissolve as he fastens and follow his own pace, his dick fucking you senseless with ragged breath. God, how he wishes he can do this every second of the day, buried inside you, looking at your pleasured face drowned in lust and pleasure, your beautiful moans and fingers scratching his back. He’d trade anything to have you like this again.

“Fuck, kitten, how are you so tight? I am fucking close.” Jungkook groans as he chases his high, sensing your walls are now clenching him tightly. He inches closer to engage you in another kiss, his tongue pushing inside you while his digits are circling your clit. You claw his back, letting out all sound with no holds back as the pleasures are too much now—the orgasm building up inside you, and Jungkook definitely can sense it coming. “Cum now, kitten.”

While Jungkook and you are still engaged in another heated kiss, your high finally comes as you cum on his dick. “Good girl.” He whispers with one last kiss before he chases his own, and not even another second he pulls out, squirting his cum all over your stomach.

You frown, looking at the liquid on your stomach. “Damn it, you should’ve cum inside me. I’m on the pill anyway.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at your remarks, yet he is grinning from ear to ear. He lays beside you, engaging you in another soft, slow kiss as you close your eyes, your palms settled on the side of his face. “I love you.” He whispers after letting go, his beautiful doe eyes literally shining with the creases that is apparent whenever he is smiling wide. It seeps warmth to your heart.

The reply for his confession is already at your tongue, but Jungkook quickly scoots away to stand on the floor. You bit your lips, disliking the fact that he is too far from your reach, no matter how fast he’ll be back. You need him here, to ensure that everything is not just a wet dream of yours. “Come back, don’t leave me.” You whine, and Jungkook giggles breathily.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, clingy McGee. I’ll get you a wet towel.”

Another minute and Jungkook is back with what he promised, as he closes beside you and wipes his own cum off your stomach.

“What a waste. You should’ve cum in my tongue and let me swallow it all.” You mutter half joking half seriously while yawning, as your eyes follow his every movement. He sends you a warning glare, unhappy with your constant teasing.

“If you don’t want me to pin you against the matters now and fuck you against the wall until you’re screaming for mercy, stop it.”

“Geez, sooo grumpy.” You giggle, scooting closer to him as in chase of heat after he settles beside you, draping the blanket to cover both your bodies.

“I’ll take you up on that tomorrow, though.” He lightly giggles, and you’re the one now rolling your eyes on him. He envelopes you around his arm, pressing another kiss on your forehead before caressing your head to sleep—just the way he remembers would instantly send you to slumber.

But no matter how tired you already are, your body are still high on adrenaline due to the great sex you just had—you just cant seems to sleep. Not when Jungkook is here holding you close, looking at you like that with evident love in his eyes. And suddenly an idea pops inside your head, until you smirk in mischief.

“Why are you smiling like that? I told you to sleep.” He asks cautiously. You shrug to pretend innocence, before scooting closer until your bare waist is glued on his own, slightly rubbing it against his semi-hard dick. Wow, the self control on this guy is impressive for not initiating a second round.

Jungkook immediately curses at your teasing, yet the pleasure in his face is unmissed. “Fuck, what are you—“

“I’m sweating, Jungkook. I want to take a shower.” You whine seductively, your fingers stray to the lower parts of his body now, caressing his semi. Jungkook’s eyes are now unmistakably dark, as you realize that you might just awaken the true dom in Jungkook.

“I was literally being civil since you got to go back home with fucking Taehyung tomorrow, but damn—I’ll fuck you so bad anyone know who fucked you tonight, huh? I’ll make sure you can’t walk straight tomorrow, kitten.” He smirks, and that literally sends jitters right to your core in deep anticipation. You missed it—the feeling of Jungkook mercilessly fucking you like there’s no tomorrow.

Jungkook instantly scoops you out of bed in one movement, the blanket falls on the floor. Your legs are linked around his waist, your throbbing entrance pressed against his erection as you rub it for relief. His mouth aggressively attacking yours for domination, as his firm legs walk towards your shower.

“Let’s get my kitten thoroughly cleaned, okay?” Jungkook teasingly moans to your ear, his thumbs are now pinching your hardened nipples. Your whole body shivers.

Thus begin the best sex you ever have in your whole life.

You wake up groggily with the sunshine seeping through your window. What happened with you, why are you feeling the biting pain all over your body? The memory of last night instantly hits you like an explosion.

You had sex with Jungkook—which lasted three freaking rounds.

And fuck wasn’t he holding back. He literally was just like you remembered, a true dom that sent your knees weak, pleasuring you like nobody could. He took care of your body like it's the only thing on his mind—and you would be lying if you say you didn’t enjoy his true dom self released, marking you all over your body with love bites, forcing you to plead for his mercy and leaving you breathless nearly all the time.

But he is not here now.

You gaze to the cold side of your bed where Jungkook slept last night. It must be long since he left, only with a small note on your bedside that ensures you that what happened last night isn’t just a mere dream.

Hi, thanks for last night. I had to leave, something urgent came up. See you around.

Fuck, if that wasn’t such a lousy note to start the day with. Such a fool you are to expect the sex matters to you as much as it is to him.

Regardless of the ticked off feeling you had for Jungkook, you scoot off your bed, trying to use both your throbbing legs to stand up. The pain instantly shoots up that you instantly bite your lips, limping your way out of the door. Fuck Jungkook, you loathe that fucker so much now.

“Whoa whoa—slow down babe.” Namjoon instantly shouts after you’re carelessly limping out of the door closer to him. “Someone got a good dicked down yesterday.” He teases, and you sent him an annoyed expression.

“Why are you so grumpy? You finally had sex after months, you should be glowing.” Namjoon giggles while stirring his coffee. You flip him off, settling to sit on the sofa. “You want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.” You mutter. “What time did you come back home?”

“Around two, maybe? Wasn’t really in my best state of mind, so that could be wrong too. What’s up?”

He walks closer to you, offering a cup of coffee with scent that succeeds in relaxing your mind a bit. “I did not meet the guy, you don’t have to worry. Who was it anyway? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Around two? He left before two? “Did you check up on me when you come?” You ask dubiously, knowing Namjoon has always checked up on you when he arrives in the apartment.

“Yes, there was no one. I saw you sleeping, and went to my room right after.”

“Fuck—he really left that early?!” You hiss, not liking the fact that he left you just later after you sleep with such a lousy note that clearly indicates nothing—he probably uses the same note for all his previous one night stands.

“But.. You know, it could be weird for strangers to stay the night after sex—“

“But he’s not a stranger.” You vengefully replied, the hurt evident in your tone. “It’s Jungkook. Jungkook slept with me yesterday and fled right after with a fucking lousy ‘thanks for last night’ note.”

“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook?” He asks with goggling eyes. He seriously thought he misheard your words. “But you hated him.”

“It was complicated. We.. We had a past together. And these few days just rekindled those feelings, and.. I thought he was really serious about it.” You whispers, the tears are welling in the corner of your eyes. “I tried thinking positively, that he really had something to do, but he left so quickly and also with this note.. got me thinking. Was it too fast? What if everything is just in my head, and he’s only after sex?”

Namjoon looks at the yellow note on your grasp, taking it to read the messy handwriting for himself. Yet no matter how hard he thinks about it, he understands your doubt. It was indeed a messy, hurried note that he indeed heard people often leave their one night stand.

“It’s still uncertain. Just talk to him, okay?” Namjoon asks, his palm resting on your knees and giving it a light squeeze. “There might be something you don’t know yet.”

You sigh, crumpling the note and throwing it carelessly. “I fucking hate him.”

“Hey, by the way you left your phone here, and Taehyung called this morning.” He informs, but you know that expression he wears—something is troubling his mind.

“What is that face?” You instantly point. “You always use that expression when you have something to say.”

“You know me so well.” Namjoon grins, eyes trained on the coffee on his grasp. “I had a drink with Taehyung and others yesterday. And yeah, after the drink, I just think that he.. He might be still in love with you.”

“What do you mean?” Your eyebrows scrunched, severely confused.

“That’s all I can say. If you want to know, better ask the man himself. You’re meeting him soon, right?” Namjoon reminds you, and you abruptly stand up—still holding back the pain, after being reminded that Taehyung shall be here in no time.

“And, Y/N?”

You halt your steps, looking back to the guy. “What?”

“Just.. don’t hesitate. Go with your heart.” Namjoon advises. Your throat constricts. Follow your heart? You don’t even understand what that idiot wants. Your heart is a drunk fool, doesn’t really know what’s good for itself, and always foolishly seeks something that is not going to happen. Why should you go with it?

He is apparently not done, and clears his throat and points to his own neck. “And maybe, put some concealer on? Don’t want your mother to have a heart attack seeing those marks on your neck.”

And that’s how in forty minutes, you ended up wearing navy green turtleneck and long skinny jeans—thankfully the chilly weather does support your outfits—descending your apartment building after Taehyung said he’s already parked in front. You were distinctly nervous, going back to your family home with Taehyung after the longest time. Just being around him sends you on your edge, and you could only wish nothing is going to mess everything up.

The first thing you see when the elevator is opened is Taehyung’s face that you abruptly take a step back in shock. His face immediately lightens up. “Good morning. You’re here.”

“Yes. I thought I’ll see you in your car?”

“Sure, I just thought it would be great to see your apartment.” Taehyung answers, a soft smile appearing on his lips. Namjoon’s sentences instantly pass through your head as a warning. You clear your throat.

“Namjoon is upstairs, though...”

“So? Is that a problem for me to see your apartment?” He mischievously teases, pulling you to exit the apartment. “What were you thinking, huh?”

“Nothing!” You abruptly answer, silently letting Taehyung hold your palm against his, no matter how conflicted it makes you feel.

“By the way, are you okay, babe?” Taehyung asks in concern after arriving at the car, reminding you to put on your seatbelt. Your eyebrow raises.

“I think so. Why?”

“Did you fall or anything? You are.. Kind of limping.” He questions in deep concern, looking straight to your eyes. At once, your breath hastens with anxiety. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Of course—I fell in the shower yesterday, and got hurt a bit, yeah..” You tightly mutter. At least it was not a hundred person lie.

Gosh, how you wish you can punch that annoying motherfucker now…

“Taehyung! You’re here!”

You glare at your beaming mother slightly skipping to welcome both of you from her tended yard, crushing Taehyung in a big hug. “Mom, I’m right here too. And last time I checked, I’m the one who is related by blood to you.”

“Don’t be such a party pooper, Y/N.” Taehyung giggles, affectionately hugging back your mother. “I’m sorry mom, Y/N is soooo grumpy this morning. She may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“It’s just I haven’t seen you in so long. How is my precious son doing?!” Your mother beams, instantly welcoming Taehyung inside the house, leaving you alone to pick up the fruits and cake you brought from Seoul. But not even long, the scowl changes into a contented smile on your lips.

You are grateful that nothing really changes, especially with Taehyung. He is still the one person you can depend the most in this whole world.

Suddenly, among your wandering thoughts your phone rings. You hurriedly pick up, not even checking the caller. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N?” You notice the change of language, and silently checks the number. Abroad numbers? Suspicious.

“Yes, this is she.” You doubtfully answer.

“Hello, This is Jess. I’m here in Seoul today, can we meet?”

Jess? Who is Jess? You can’t literally remember anyone called Jess beside… your friend back in the States. You were not even remotely close, so there’s no way it could be her.

“Sorry, but which Jess?”

She instantly clears her throat, probably embarrassed at the possibility of you not remembering. “We went to the same high school back in the States, before your parents divorced and you moved to Korea.”

So that’s the correct Jess then. But that still doesn’t explain why she is calling you right now, especially with that unnecessary mention of your parent’s divorce. “Ah, I remember now. But why? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes, I am in Seoul now. I have to talk to you about something, I promise it won’t take a while.”

“But why? We haven’t talked in years, what could possibly be the reason why we should meet?” You annoyedly point out, not even caring that you have turned hostile to her. You really don’t want to waste any time, especially with Taehyung now at the door, signing you to come in.

“It’s about Jungkook.” She curtly answers, and your heart literally skips a beat at the name. What’s with Jungkook? Your heart clenches with the fear rising in your chest.

“His family and I are here now to take him back to the States, so I have to let you know something. Let’s meet.”

It is not long until you and Jess are already sitting in front of each other inside a cafe near your family home. You left Taehyung at home with your family, and promised them you’ll be back in no time.

“You want to order something? My treat.” The girl says after ordering her drinks. You shake your head, not even enjoying the seconds uselessy passed with her. You are just desperate to get it over with and head home.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t remember you being this uptight, Y/N. Loosen up, will you?”

“Well, you don’t know, probably because we weren’t even that close?” You shoot and sigh. “Can we just go straight to the point? My mother is waiting at home.”

Jess hums. “And Kim Taehyung too?”

You glare at her, the uneasiness rising in your head. You have no idea why she should know anything about Taehyung. “What the—”

“I’ll cut to the chase. Jungkook is his family’s only son. His father already had his future all planned out, but then one day he ran away to work in a country far away, with a job that probably pays a quarter from what he could have back home.” She halts after the waitress serves her drinks. “And then we finds out that he is here because of you, a fucking ex—who was just a mere fuck buddies. So we need you to think straight and stop seeing him.”

You stare at her for a full minute until you break in laughter. “What’s funny?” She irks.

“Fuck, this is all just like a midday telenovela, that’s what.” You giggle, still finding mirth in her previous statement. You clear your throat, and send her an not amused look. “Let me fill you in. I don’t fucking care. He’s here because himself, you’re thinking too highly of that one month we fucked. And who are you to say that anyway? You’re his mother or what?”

Jess condescendingly smirks in triumph. “I am his girlfriend. We have been dating all through college before he moved here. I have all right to tell cockroaches like you to scoot off. Besides, you already have Kim, no? Are you really that thirsty for lots of men?”

That statement literally catches you off guard. Girlfriend? Jungkook never mentions anything about a girlfriend. He literally said that he hadn’t been with anyone and that he thought about you most of the time. Was it all… just a lie?

It was like a knock to your chest, but you won’t let it show. “Then you should know better that if you dated all through college, there is no way he could move here because of me.” You calmly explain, the anger and sadness of betrayal building up in your chest. It feels hard to even breathe, and you feel so stupid for believing his words could be true—now that you rewind literally made no sense whatsoever. Jungkook is not with anyone for years, only because of you? Fuck, that’s literally nonsensical.

“And if you’re his girlfriend, you should know he’s here because he is depressed—feeling the inadequacy and constant restriction in doing whatever he wants to do. If you’re his girlfriend, you should support whatever he wants to do for his happiness, instead of teaming up with his father that literally treated him like a fucking robot.” You spit out in dismay, the tears are welling up in your eyes. You hated the fact that you’ve foolishly put your trust on someone undeserving, yet again.

It’s clear now that you have left the girl speechless, and you quickly stomp out of the cafe inside of Taehyung’s car you borrowed. You quickly drive out, with tears freely running on your cheeks, your heart turns hollow and vacant now that you know.

You are a fucking idiot, that’s what.

It’s already eleven pm, you are now resting in your room in the family home. Your mother successfully tricked you into staying the night, but Taehyung said he needed to go back to his apartment because he doesn’t have any shirt to change to—denying your mother’s forward offer to let him stay the night with you in your room. The level of trust your mother has in Taehyung is seriously ridiculous—but still he said he’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up, as he needed to work in the headquarters for a full week next week.

‘Are you okay?’ Taehyung queried when he was about to drive back, hand clasped against yours. ‘You seemed a little bit upset after that meeting.’

Even then, you could only answer him with a vague shrug, a hug and you cried. Taehyung didn’t ask any further, patting your back calmly while whispering calming words to your ear. He understood you need your space more than anything, and you were thankful.

But now, flipping on your bed for hours hasn’t drifted you to dreamland yet, especially with a head filled with Jungkook and overwhelming queries on how he’s doing right now. And you hate yourself for still caring—it’s freaking Jungkook, who left you after he had enough, who easily lied to you just to sleep with you. Why can’t you just ditch him like that?

Maybe you’re really in love. A total dumbass.

Suddenly, your phone rings. Unknown numbers. Call with Jess did traumatize you, but not taking it will leave you close to no wink of sleep, so you do.

“Hello?” You warily questions. There are around ten seconds before the familiar sigh is heard on the other side of the call.

“Y/N, this is Jungkook.” The familiar voice is close to whispers, and all you can hear is how tired he sounds. Something definitely stirs inside of you. “Are you in your mother’s home? I’ll be there in ten. Can we talk?”

You know it. You know it very, very well. He might as well done it over the phone—it may hurt less. “Is it urgent? Can’t.. can’t we just do it over the phone?”

“No, we need to talk directly. It doesn’t feel right doing it on the phone.”

Fuck, it’s really is. Jungkook is breaking up with you—with no relationships to begin with. The tears are clamming up on your eyes, and you can only hope you’re strong enough to pretend everything’s okay. Cause you hate to show him how weak you are for him.

And not even ten minutes, Jungkook messages you he’s already waiting outside. You walk outside your room to see that your whole house is already dark—your family must have gone to sleep. Good, so they don’t have to see you bawling your eyes out.

When you are at your porch, you can already make out his silhouette from the car. His hand is on the wheel, other hands are resting on his temples—the lines of his face are harsh and cold. Taking a deep breath, you give yourself one last warning and enter his car.

“What is it?” You curtly ask, and Jungkook looks at you with a weirded out stare.

“Why are you angry?”

You roll your eyes, arms folded on your chest. “Because I know clearly why you are here. Jess explicitly told me about everything—you don’t need to waste both of our times, going all the way here just because you want to break up with me. That too if anything of what we did was more than something to you.”

Jungkook stares at you like you’re spluttering nonsense, which you actually are and it leaves you disconcerted. “What—what the fuck are you saying now?”

You scowl. “No need to lie. I know exactly what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna need to move back, right? And you’ll leave your whole life here—” The tears choke you up. “You’ll leave me here. But let me say it, do whatever, Jungkook. It will be just like before, right? It’s not like we've never done this before.”

If you’re really doing it to hurt him, you succeed. Because the pain is literally insufferable. “Is that what we mean to you? Are you going to just let everything like this like not a shit happened to us?”

“You’re funny, Jungkook. There’s never been an ‘us’, you know it.” You vex with a sarcastic grin. “There’s never been us. Because you lied to me, fuck me and stood me up like nothing happened, right?”

“That’s not true.” He firmly said. “I left first because of my father, Y/N. He told me he’s in town. I need to meet him, why can’t you understand?!”

“I know that! But you expected me to believe all you said when Jess literally came all the way from the States to tell me to fuck off and that you’re in a relationship with her all through college.” Jungkook freezes on his spot, but you’re not done. “Is that wrong, Jungkook? Tell me she lied and I’ll grovel at your feet for forgiveness.”

At Jungkook’s silence, you can feel a stingy pang inside your chest. It was true, he lied. “So she was right? You lied to me—telling me there was no one, only to sleep with me?”

“It’s not true, Y/N. Jess was just… someone I affiliated with. We were not in a relationship.” He hurriedly tries to explain, hand scratching his hair in frustration. “And why does it matter anyway? It’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter now. I only care about you, you know it.”

“It matters! Because you told me there was no one. Because you lied to me, Jungkook. Why can’t you see how wrong it is?”

“She was just someone I fucked with all through college. Even if she thought there was something else, there was none. I set it straight to her, but she never understands.” He softly whispers now. “I regretted it, Y/N. But you can’t hold it against me. I had no feelings for her.”

You know his words should’ve brought reassurance, but the words clearly strike something inside you—a remembrance of pain. You croak. “You know what, that’s exactly what Taehyung told me that time.”

“What-what’s that fucker doing here in our talk?” His voice raises in displease at your mention of another man during your serious talk. “So was everything about Taehyung? All of this—even when we’re fighting, you’re thinking about him. It was all about him all along.”

“No, but the exact thing happened again. You were being dishonest to me. You hurt me, Jungkook.” You whisper softly, cheeks already flowing with tears that it literally throws him off at how fragile you look. “I can’t… I can’t shake that feeling. How I felt when she said everything, like she owned you, like… like she has rights for you. Like I was someone you played with behind her. It was exactly.. that.”

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to feel that way.” Jungkook whispers and pulls you closer inside his arm, heart clenched in guilt at your weak sob. He hates himself for doing that to you—to let you enter the maze of problems he has tried to escape from a while now. You don’t deserve that. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I know I should’ve been clearer about everything.”

Ten minutes of crying your concern and heart out inside his arms before you open your voice. “So, she was right? Are you leaving, then?”

He dubiously hums. “I have to, otherwise my father will never stop trying to get me back. I’ll try finishing whatever I can there, and come back right after.” He whispers, palms buried on your hair. “I promise it won’t take long. Can you wait for me?”

You look at Jungkook's hopeful eyes and the ‘yes’ is already at your tongue—when something awakens you. You cannot do that to yourself. You cannot let yourself be miserable, waiting for him again like a broken clock. You cannot gamble your way to mend everything when he leaves, not when there’s any possibility like he’ll leave you again like he did. You’re not that strong.

“I can’t.” You shortly reply, and at the unexpected answer, Jungkook is visibly aggrieved.

“Why? Why can’t you? I’ll be back soon, Y/N—Why do you give up on us that easily?” Jungkook is peeved at your easy surrender. He loves you, he is willing to work it out for you, and it weakens him to see you’re not on board to fight for any feelings you both have for each other. “I know you, Y/N. I know me. We had something together. Please, don’t give up on us.”

“I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy?” You shouts, carrying the long pain you have carried throughout your days. “I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt. If I wait for you, I’ll always feel insecure, Jungkook. I’ll always wonder if you’re going back, if you have found someone else, if we’re just going to hurt each other. Because that's what people did to me—to my mother, to us… I can’t.”

Jungkook shudders at the mention of your family. Did he hear it wrong? “Did you mean… your father? But I thought… I thought—”

“Yes.” The hurt multiplies, palpable on your face. “My father lied to me. He is a manipulative jerk who never gave a shit about his family, and made my mother the bad guy in front of me. He didn’t care at all—my mother was struggling with cancer and he didn’t give a shit and still went with the divorce. I just knew after my mother went to find me, beg me to come with her after the divorce.”

The regret at his old self, patronizing you without knowing the truth hits him like a brick. “God, Y/N, I’m sorry. I was—”

“I know. It was such a stressful time, and the pain my mother had to endure because of him—I hated him so much I could die, Jungkook. He hurt me, he hurt us. And he is now living well with his new family, the one he cheated with before. It is not fucking fair.”

Jungkook moves forward to hold you close, his heart wrenching in pain to imagine how agonizing it must have been for you and your mother. “I’m sorry for everything. I was a stupid jerk who thought I knew everything, you had every rights to hate me. I am very, very sorry, Y/N.”

“That’s why I have trust issues. I know very well that one bad apple doesn’t define everything, but it made me more cautious above anything. I can’t afford being weak now, I can’t gamble on the future whether what we had now is gonna last. I don’t want to be naive.”

No matter how he wants to refute your words, he can’t. Because Jungkook understands where you’re coming from, and how traumatizing it must have been. He’d be insensitive to shrug your concern away. “I understand. But I won’t ask for more, Y/N..”

“I’ll be back before December ends.” Jungkook determinedly claims, holding you closer that his nose point is touching yours, warm palms against the side of your face which sends your whole being to instant chaos. His eyes are like a deep sea, that you’re willing to fall in and never out, and all you want to do is hold him close, kiss him and never let go.

“And when we finally meet, I’ll let you know that I will still be loving you then and I’m going to fight for us. No matter what happened.”

After having breakfast with both your mother, grandma and Taehyung, you hug the goodbyes. You regret it though, the days passed so quickly and you don’t really have much time to completely be in the moment with your family since your mind is wandering far. If your mother knows, she doesn’t comment—but you know that soft gaze she endows, she is worried for you.

“Goodbye, son! Do visit us regularly, okay?” Your mother beams, hugging Taehyung. She glances at you walking to your room to grab your purse and continues. “I’m very worried for her. Can you please make sure she’s okay?”

“What happened?” Taehyung asks in concern. He did notice something changed after you met your friend yesterday, but it’s definitely getting prominent this morning.

“Someone came to our house yesterday, and spent some time in the car. After, she walks out crying.” Your mother frets, squeezing Taehyung’s palm. “I’m worried. Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course I will.” Taehyung smiles in a comforting manner, tapping on your mother’s palm. “You can count on me, mom.”

Your mother instantly smiles, as she understands by heart she really can count on Taehyung for you. “Thank you. Get going now!” She gestures to walk you out to Taehyung’s car.

Sitting inside the car, your eyes are trained out the window, minds wandering far to last night’s encounter with Jungkook. He said he’ll be back, and you shouldn’t believe him—you told him you won’t, but deep inside you never stopped wishing his words are true. You foolishly believe him with all your heart.

“Hey.”

Taehyung’s call abruptly takes you off your wandering thoughts, shifting your gaze at him. You clear your throat. “Yes? Sorry, I was daydreaming for a while there.”

“I think you’ve been daydreaming all the time we’re here.”

He said the words softly and didn’t mean anything, yet it instantly hits you with guilt. “I’m sorry, I was—”

“Was it about Jungkook?”

“What?” Your eyes widened, heart literally skips a beat. Are you really that obvious?

Taehyung stares at you for a few seconds, then focusing back on the street. “It’s just a lucky guess. And seeing how shocked you were just now, it must be true.”

“It is.” You look down to your lap. “I’m sorry for concerning you.”

“What are you sorry about.” Taehyung chuckles, tapping the top of your head. “He is finally here. The one you’ve been thinking about all through college, your first love, your first heartbreak is here. You should be happy.”

It’s true though. You can’t even count how many people you have pushed away only because you’re thinking about Jungkook. In the period where everyone is just desperate to find love or mere sex, you are not even remotely close to it. You weren’t with anyone all through college. All because you’re thinking about how it feels right to be with Jungkook, how in love you actually were and how foolish it could be to let go of one thing that could have been true just because you were too deep in emotion.

And Taehyung was one of the people that lived through that phase of shutting any possibility of love. He couldn’t even forget how his college friends, or even strangers asking him why are you so closed off, refusing any advancement anyone did. But Taehyung shrugged it away, because he knew how you still couldn’t forget your first love. He didn’t even know how or why you are still able to hold into that love for such a long time—not until he fell for you himself.

When he asked you to be his girlfriend a year ago and you said yes, he really thought you were ready to move on. Finally. And maybe you were, before he messed up everything and it’s already too late. Because Jungkook is back, and how can he compare to the first love, which vaguely ended and still left a sour taste of regret in your heart.

When he saw Jungkook that morning, he knew. He knew that he didn’t stand a chance. Because it’s apparent how head over heels he is still with you, like you are with him. And he just needs to accept it.

“Go with your heart, Y/N.” Taehyung croaks, holding the deep urge inside him forcing him to stop being such goody two shoes. Taehyung is still in love with you. Madly. He loves you for quite a long time now, and he wanted to be yours. But how can he be selfish when you are clearly struggling like this?

“Do you know? The biggest regret I have is to let you go.”

You glance at Taehyung, as something stirs inside your heart with him addressing your past. “I regret not making everything clear. I regret not fighting for us. I regret not being honest with you, because I was selfish and too much of a coward.”

“I still love you.” Taehyung whispers, the grip on the wheel tightened. You stare at him, speechless while Namjoon’s past words suddenly run through your mind. “But it’s okay. Because above anything, I want you to be happy. Seeing you being miserable makes me extremely sad, Y/N. Please, just go with your heart and be happy.”

Another minute passed in silence, before you mutter gloomily. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say..”

“Let me guide you, then.” Taehyung smiles, his palm resting over yours and gives it a light squeeze. “Thank you for loving me, Taehyung. I know we’ll get through this, as best friends. And you are right, I’ll go with my heart and try to take risk in love, because even though it might hurt me, at the very least I followed my heart instead of my fear.”

His words literally punch you in the gut, because now that he’s the one saying it to you, it never felt clearer. You indeed have been following your fear, discarding how you truly feel for anything or anyone. You love Jungkook, but being afraid has shielded you from following what you really want to do.

Another ten minutes before you give his hand a light squeeze. “You know, I never thought you'd be that much of a bigger person.” You lightly joke, in which Taehyung responds with a snort. “You were not usually like this. Where’s my selfish and self-righteous bestie at?!”

“Well, don’t consider I’m letting you go just yet.” He shrugs jokingly, rolling his eyes. You heartily laugh at that. “Besides, life is still long, right? Don’t count it on me giving up just yet, Y/N. I might just steal your heart away, and that lucky bastard Jungkook should be nervous.” You gaze at Taehyung who is looking back at you with his signature boxy smile, and your heart lightens. God, how lucky you are to have such a great companion like him.

“You know what? He really should.”

7 Weeks Later…

Jungkook is looking at the watch on his wrist. It’s already 4PM in his time and 8AM in Seoul. You must be preparing for work, he thinks to himself, unconsciously smiling. That’s what he does whenever it concerns you. He’ll be adored at the thoughts of you walking hastily inside the office, throwing all your belongings on your desk before you begin working. He always finds it endearing. And then, he’ll miss you. He will miss looking at you, talking and bantering with you again.

But not today, since he’ll be over in Seoul in no time.

All seven weeks back in the States were dreadful, but he managed. He knew that it was longer than expected, but he managed to steal the time to find you again. Because in all sincereness, all that he can think of is you.

blueberry_25 : good thursday morning! Soo happy gonna end the week soon! [16:05]

blueberry_25 : what are you doing this weekend? Do you wanna meet? :) [16:06]

It’s funny how he gives you the space you deserve, yet still manages to talk to you again nearly everyday. All because of the pen pal event held by the company which he has resigned from. He needed to take a long break, and had to resign after. The company did give him an option if he wanted to return back, but with the current condition, he is not really sure whether he can return for good.

But at least he got some time to see you again. Which is good.

91snowball : hi, blue, hope you have a great day today too! :) [16:07]

91snowball : we’re going to meet tomorrow. The christmas event, remember? [16:07]

blueberry_25 : I nearly forgot! So hectic today since that finance guy resigned and caused such chaos again. Thanks for the reminder though lol [16:08]

Jungkook literally winces, as you haven’t stopped complaining about the sudden resignation of the finance guy that is literally him regarding your overwhelming work caused by a certain prematurely resigning self-centered jerk. Even one time he mistakenly apologized for it. Nevertheless, it was all fun and games before he thought about how to break it up to you. That he is a snowball, the person you’ve been chatting with anonymously for months, and nearly everyday now. Talking to you were the highlights of his days, and he couldn’t stop. Even for a day.

And he is in the dark on how to break the truth to you.

The soft chimes of his phone takes him away from the busy thoughts. Jungkook looks down and finds another message from you. The heartfelt smile instinctively appears on his lips.

blueberry_25 : did you get me anything? ;) Can I set my expectations high? [16:10]

91snowball : haha hope so. See you tomorrow, okay? [16:10]

The announcement for passengers to onboard is heard, so Jungkook raises from his seat to join the queue. An anonymous feeling shot through his chest, a heartfelt smile formed on his lips. He is going back. Finally. He finally is going to see you again and it feels terribly unreal.

Right when another message arrives, and at once the corners of his mouth instantly flattens.

Mom : Son,don’t forget. I’ll pick you up next week. [16:12]

“Bye, Y/N, Hoseok!”

Another person from your team has escaped the dreaded office, yet you and Hoseok are still not showing any sign of moving from your respective places. There are still a few action items on your list that need to be checked off by the night if you want to have a peaceful weekend, and you are determined to have them finished asap.

Because you are going to meet Snowball tomorrow. And you’re going to spend your whole weekend with him too.

“Y/N, why are you not going home?” Hoseok asks in worry while glancing at your screen. “This report needs to be submitted on Monday. You can finish it tomorrow.”

“But tomorrow we are having that Christmas event. I want to finish this before then.” You answer nonchalantly, still typing agilely on your keyboard. Seeing how befuddled Hoseok looks, you roll your eyes. “That pen pal secret santa event. Remember?”

Hoseok instantly turns silent at the mention of the event. God, how could he forget? Tomorrow the office’s Christmas party will be held, along with the first meeting of the anonymous pen pal buddies. Jimin and his team have everything planned out, in which the pair would give a gift inside a box which includes a card to describe and help find who is their pen pal.

It was indeed a brilliant idea. But maybe not to the fact that Jungkook is literally your pen pal, and the fact that you are unaware of how close he has been even after he left.

It doesn’t even need an exquisite skill to guess that something happened with Jungkook and you, especially discernible after he left. You turn greatly silent, and he found you zooming out more than you’d like to admit, and you’re shine dimmed. It was incredibly saddening for nearly everyone, but it’s not for long since you found someone to take your minds off things—who turns out to be your pen pal, or ironically, Jungkook.

And Hoseok has multiple times warned Jungkook that it’s not going to work. You would be furious to find out—who would adore the fact that someone is indeed lying?

“So… your partner will be coming?” Hoseok hesitatingly asks, looking down his lap. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. I know he’ll be coming.” You shift your gaze to Hoseok and beam. “He’ll give me a present and I’ll finally meet him.”

Hoseok nods, but something urges him to continue. “But… what if he won’t come?”

Your eyebrows scrunched. “What do you mean?”

He clears his throat. “Maybe? You know, he might have something to do tomorrow, urgently. Or maybe he is not that invested in this like you are? Because let’s be real here, Y/N, you are too deep into this.”

You send a thriving punch to his shoulder that Hoseok immediately winces and. “What is that for?!”

“For being such a source of negativity. Seriously, Hoseok, you used to be sooo positive. Stop hanging out too much with Yoongi.”

“I’m not kidding, Y/N.” Hoseok sternly gazes at you. “Don’t put your hopes too high. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

You smile at him, not even an ounce of doubt seen on your face. “Snowball won’t disappoint me, Hoseok. He’s not like Jungkook.”

At such ironic statements, Hoseok immediately turns speechless—something inside him literally withers. God, how he wishes he could cease you from hurting...

It’s already eight pm, and Jungkook is still settling inside his car in front of the building where the Christmas Event is held. His right hand is tapping lightly on the wheel, inside his left grasp is a midnight green colored box in which is the present he prepared for you.

The event will be starting soon, but he’s still waiting for a cue from Yoongi—the only person who knew about his arrival in Korea—when he should be entering. Attract attention is the last he would want, especially when too many people or the bosses are around, as he is obviously not invited now that he has resigned.

Yet needless to say, it is not the main issue concerning his mind. He couldn’t even care less if he is going to be kicked out of the event, as long as he can see you and be with you again. But how can he hope so? All kinds of scenarios are running through his mind about how you would react to him being Snowball, your anonymous pen pal in which you have told him about nearly everything. And it's foolish to even think that you would be fine about him catfishing you—hopefully it’s not the correct term for that.

At first, it was just a mere idea during work, Jimin was joking about how he would make you as his anonymous pen pal after he was informed of a small piece about your past with Jungkook. And Jungkook was not going to think about it more, but he was desperate. He wanted to talk to you again without any resentment—but it could probably be the least thing you want to do in this lifetime, so he begged Jimin to arrange it for him. Even if it was merely anonymous.

But now it could probably be the best yet the worst thing that he had done to you. You are the thing that keeps him sane after being locked again in his hometown, but he is now gambling with the relationship you both have. He is literally lying to you again—just like the worst fight happened in front of your house porch. God, everything is literally a mess.

Suddenly, the sound of an incoming call disrupts his trainwreck thoughts. Min Yoongi.

“Jungkook, the event will be conducted in half an hour, you need to submit your present. The bosses are gone. Come.” Yoongi calmly informs, conflicting to the thoughts on Jungkook’s mind. The fear and insecurity instantly strikes him.

“I don’t know whether I should do this, I mean—”

“Look at your chat.”

Yoongi has an authority tone on his voice that Jungkook immediately obeys, opening his chat. Yoongi has sent a picture of you, lively talking with your friends. You look exquisite, wearing a red ball gown dress that falls on your knee, the blush is apparent on your cheek. You simply look.. stunning.

“She has waited and prepared all this shit because she believed her idiot, fucking selfish so-called pen pal is here. Seriously, you’re not doing any good by pretending again. Just come, Jungkook.”

At once, it was like a knock to his heart at how selfish and undeserving he is to you. It’s okay if you’re angry, he’ll grovel at your feet. And if you don’t want to see him again? Well, he just needs to wait again. He waited for five years to see you again—what is another waiting, right?

Heaving a deep breath, Jungkook finally steps out of his car. He cannot lie that he is excessively frightened, the image of you crying and pushing him away is vivid and it stings. But he promised you he’ll be back before the year ends, and he’ll live up to that promise.

Walking out of the lift, the first person he sees is Jimin, sitting behind the front table from the ballroom. He is now receiving gifts from various people, which Jungkook assumes must be for the pen pal event. He walks closer, until Jimin can finally see him, and somehow, upon meeting your face, he literally falls a few steps back, face bleached like he just saw a ghost.

“J-jungkook?”

Jungkook smiles and rests the gift on the table. “Hi, Jimin. This is my gift for her.”

“B-b-but how—why? How can you’re here? I thought—I thought you’re moving and—”

“Yes. But I’m here now.” Jungkook thinly smiles. “May I know what I should do next?”

“Y-yes. So, the pair will be divided into two rooms, and when we cue, we will let you find each other, with the stuff and card inside the gift.” The panic is still evident on his face, but Jungkook just shrugs it away. Jimin can be overreacting at times.

“May I enter my room now?”

Jimin instantly nods as an answer, and points to the room on his right. “You can enter the room on the right. But Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares at Jimin, waiting for the continuation. “Good luck there. And I’m sorry.” He clears his throat, and points to the room. “You go now.”

Jungkook doesn’t even know if that’s really something for Jimin to be sorry about, but he literally couldn’t care less when he’s just minutes away from meeting you. “Thanks.”

Inside the room, there are a few people who are high chance waiting for the pen pal committee as well. The moment he enters, he can see a few confused eyes staring at him, but the moment he finds Namjoon, he can finally breathe. Namjoon is not too different though, staring at him with weirded out eyes.

“Jungkook, you’re here?” He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes. “Am I drinking too much champagne or are you really here?”

“I am.” He chuckles. “I came back to fulfill a promise, I guess.”

“Y/N? Because she’s your pen pal, right?” Jungkook nods slowly. “God, do you know there’s a very high chance that she’ll kick your ass for all this bamboozling shit?”

“Affirmatively.” Jungkook grins, yet his fingers are nervously fidgeting, a habit he inhibited since a month ago. “But, I just… I am trying, you know?”

Namjoon nods and taps on Jungkook’s back to relay comfort. “She loves you too. Even if she’s furious, she’ll come around.” Jungkook can only hope so.

At that time, the committees enter with a trolly of boxes that must be the pen pal gift. One of them hands Namjoon and Jungkook’s respective gifts. “You can start finding your pen pal now.”

Jungkook looks down on the blue box on his grasp, and he flinches with palms turning clammy from cold sweat, heartbeat too fast he could even hear it with his ear. Step by step, he enters the other room. Scanning the room, his sight instantly falls to you, smiling while looking down to the familiar box on your grasp. Your wavy hair settles perfectly on your shoulder, a serene smile formed on your lips.

‘I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy? I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt.’

Just when he is about to take another step closer to you, the remembrance of that night hits him straight in the gut. He is hurting you. Again. And you’ll leave. You’ll never want to see him again.

The weight on his shoulders triple at the petrifying scenario running through his mind, and Jungkook instinctively takes a step back and runs outside the room. No, he can’t do this. He is too scared. He thought he is ready to take every chance, but it turns out not much has changed, because he’s still the coward he was nearly five years ago.

Jungkook walks to the hotel balcony, heaving several deep breaths. The sky is exceptionally beautiful, the full moon is wandering in the sky and it invokes a memory within his mind.

About the night you cried in front of him for the first time.

“Are you afraid?” Jungkook whispered that night, gazing down at you. The loud blazing sound of bass was faintly heard, but both of you are sitting near the gate, looking out to the sky. You stare at him and shift back your empty gaze to the full moon. You despise that no matter how strenuous you tried to suppress the pain, it kept on rising back and numbs all your feelings.

“I am not afraid of you.” You weakly replied, the exhaustion vivid on your tone.

“I know.” Jungkook followed your gaze. “Are you afraid you’ll cry in front of me?”

You gazed at him, eyes filled with sadness and animosity. “What?”

“It’s literally a party inside. And you’ve been looking like you’re in a freaking funeral—well, beside the drinking part.” You were surprised with how susceptible he was. The day had indeed been counted as one of the worst days of your life, and it’s not even over yet. And you were fucking tired of crying, hence you decided to numb everything and wasted all your energy to alcohol instead. So at least you won’t remember again.

“Just cry.” He tranquilly whispers, his palm settles on the side of your face. “Those tears—I’ll catch them for you.”

And you just did.

Looking down to his lap, he is looking at the box on his grasp from you. Huffing a deep breath, he moves to open the box with not much thoughts—yet his mind abruptly turns blank after seeing the items resting in the box.

What… are these?

“Are you afraid?”

Turning on his heel, Jungkook’s strained gaze fell on the eyes he thought would never see this up close again. It’s you. You are literally just a distance away in front of him right now, that he might need to pinch himself to ensure everything is not a piece of his hallucination.

“What?”

“Because you look like you’re about to cry.” You whisper calmly, arms folded on your chest. “Are you that afraid to meet me again?”

Jungkook is now staring at you, face conflicted. He is at haze on everything that just unfolded. “How did you—how did you know?”

“You think I won’t find out that you’re snowball?” You took a step closer, glancing at the items on the box. A basketball keychain and a frame of photo taken five years ago, the two of you side by side with a shy smile on both your faces. It was something he never thought would receive from his pen pal, even in his wildest dream.

“You think I won’t recognize you?”

Jungkook stutters. “What do you—”

“I know everything.” You cut him right away, face still expressionless. “I know it. You are snowball, I know you bribed Jimin into arranging, I know you are hiding by talking to me anonymously with snowball as an identity—everything. I know it’s you who I’m talking to these past seven weeks.”

A good five minutes passed before Jungkook could even let out a sound, let alone a coherent statement.

“Are you… angry at me?”

“Yes.” You respond, not even missing a hint of hesitation in your tone. The physical pain is even more evident now. “I hate you. I hate you for fabricating lies about us. When I found out for the first time that it was you, I was furious. I felt played, like an idiot. I told you, I hate when someone lies to me. Do you remember?”

“I know.”

Another minutes spent staring each other, then you sigh in tiredness. “But more than anything, I missed you.” You continue, your tone falters as your eyes are far away, the sudden weakness stirs something inside his chest. “I miss you like crazy, and I took it. I took the lies, if it means I can talk to you again. Like an idiot, I didn’t think straight.”

Jungkook stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “I know I decided not to wait for you, but it was foolish. Waiting for you—that’s not an option I could make. And no matter how much I decided I need to stop thinking about you, I can’t. I am an idiot, who—”

At once, Jungkook is now hugging you close, not even a breath between the two of you. The feelings are familiar, yet so strange since the butterflies are knocking your stomach with nerves now. Jungkook is here. He is finally here, hugging you close. It’s literally the dream you’ve been having for a while now.

“I came back.”

You hum.

“For you. For the promise I made us.”

You hum.

“I am sorry. For everything. I shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have bribed Jimin.”

You hum.

Jungkook lets you go, anxious at the possibility of you lying and suppress all your feelings just for the sake of him. “Can you say something? Anything. Please be mad at me, or anything, because you have the rights to. But please don’t be silent, I beg you.”

“I love you.”

Those three words are most absolutely not the word he is expecting. He confusedly searches your eyes. “If you said I can say anything, I want to say that for the first time. I love you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you, still in disbelief of the possibility of his hearing deceiving him. “What?”

“I love you. And I want to fight for us.” You whisper, squeezing his palm against yours. “ I am sorry too. I let my emotion and fear take over, and I hurt you. I am in this just like you are, so don’t blame yourself alone, hmm?”

“I love you too.” Jungkook responds, as he pulls you close by the nape, crashing his lips on yours and taking your breath away. “I love you more than anything. I love you more than anyone. I am sorry, I am very sorry.”

You hold him closer by the waist, minutes passed just to feel how warm he is against you, the familiar scent seeps inside your brain that disoriented your whole being. As he lightly bites your lower lips and instinctively forces a moan out of you, you shivers. Jungkook swiftly takes the chance to push through and leaves a beautiful taste on your tongue. Your fingers run through his hair, feeling the soft hair falls between your fingers. Giving it a light tug, you are more than satisfied to find Jungkook is just as affected as you by the way he bemoans.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jungkook creakily whispers, not even hiding the lust and desire lacing his tone and not even a second thought is spent, you nod. You are desperate to have him again like the way it was before, to leave nothing between the two of you, to feel him close and beg for him to take you again, pleasuring you like no one could.

“By the way, you look beautiful tonight.” He smiles, squeezing your waist with his palm. “You always do, but maybe the fact that I haven’t seen you for seven weeks, now that you are wearing this beautiful dress—It’s just.. breathtaking.”

You roll your eyes, but are unable to suppress the beam on your lips. “You better keep that mindset, okay? Don’t you fucking dare say I look better naked later.”

Jungkook grins at that. “You know what? You just get me.”

“You know, I need to tell you this, but… I actually threatened Jimin to confirm that you are indeed snowball. And I have to say that it wasn’t pretty, and I wasn’t proud of it. We haven’t really been talking with each other after that..”

“What?!” Jungkook literally shouts, the imagination of you threatening Jimin with a knife forms on his head. No wonder he looks like a ghost after seeing him attend the event. “What did you do to the poor guy?!”

“Well, I may or may not… have caught him getting a blowjob from his teammate in the office one time.. And yup, you know the rest.” You wince, and hold out your palm together. “I swear, I have no intention to let anyone know, it was just a self defense method—”

“You just told me, you know.”

You pout, tugging on his blazer. “But you’re my Jungkook! It’s different.”

Jungkook sighs, but it’s foolish to lie that the possession terms you used before his name literally sends him into a blushing mess. He is unable to resist to steal a kiss from you once again. The moment your lips touching, you are left speechless—and wanting more that you still chase for his lips even after he pulls himself. You frown, folding your arms in indignation that you caught him grinning after. “Looks like someone is missing me too much, huh?”

“I hate you.” You obnoxiously spit.

“No, you love me.”

“Yes, but I’m starting to regret it now.”

Jungkook giggles, caressing the side of your pouty face. God, how is it possible to be luring and cute at the same time? Being with you is all kinds of emotions lured into one, and it left him wanting for more and more.

“I feel like I didn’t say this enough, but I love you, Y/N. I really, really do.” Jungkook whispers, as his finger pushes strands of hair to behind your ear, and you give him a smile which brightens his whole world. The moment he looks at you like this, he know he is sold. You’re his only sole chance, nothing and no one else.

“We’ll fight for each other, right?” Jungkook whispers and you stare at him back with a smile, and unlike before, this time you reply with a determined nod. One thing you know is that you’ll do anything to make the best out of each other—you’ll finally fight for what you feel instead of following your fear. Because you love Jungkook, and he feels the same way.

Oh, how he would trade everything to have this moment last forever...

===========================

I should have write this better lol was too distracted with life and kim soo hyun that its 🅱razy. I wish I have will to edit this too, tho

If you wonder if there’s an epilogue, there is! kindly follow me and slide into my ask box! stay safe, all! 💜💌

UPDATE : Find the Epilogue HERE !

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thisbeatchachinglikemoney · 3 years

Text

So Far Away (part 1)

Part 6 of the Boys with Luv series

Pairing: Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Jin x reader; Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Jin x Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Jin; Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung x Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung

Summary: A fun day at Disney turns out to be something else

Warnings: Smut, swearing, upset Taehyung and guilty Namjoon

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope, @fic-recs-by-moon, @luvtaeha, @aretha170, @xicanacorpse, @kookieebangtan, @fangirl125reader, @seoul9711, @channiespup, @lindsayjoy444

AN: This part was getting really long so I decided to split it into two parts otherwise it would keep going forever. If any of you would like to be added to the taglist, just let me know and I will add you :)

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Yoongi POV:

I groaned as my eyes fluttered open. The bed was empty. I stretched, feeling that the bed was still slightly warm, meaning that someone had recently left. I smiled as I remembered the events from the night before. Y/N had trusted us and allowed us to see her for who she truly is.

I heard laughter coming from the kitchen. I pulled on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants and made my way towards the source of the noise, a smile creeping onto my face as I surveyed the sight in front of me.

Y/N was sat on the counter with Jungkook stood between her legs, smiling at her as she laughed at something that had been said. Jimin was sat next to her watching as Jin cooked breakfast, sometimes talking to him and sometimes leaning against Y/N. Wafts of cooking oil and fried meat filled my nose as the sound of sizzling filled my ears. Jin was mostly likely making us bacon, sausage and scrambled eggs.

“Hyung!” Jimin exclaimed, jumping off the counter. He was wearing an oversized sweater that reached midthigh - I recognised it as one of Jin’s that I had stolen about a week ago. “Good morning!” He grinned, his face puffy and swollen from sleep. But he still looked beautiful.

“Good morning, pretty boy.” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him. I kissed him gently, not caring that the both of us had morning breath. He kissed back, smiling into the kiss.

“Morning prince and princess.” I said, walking over to the pair as Jimin pulled away to go back to Jin. I kissed them both.

“Morning hyung.” Jungkook said, his hair all fluffy and messy. He was still shirtless but had put on a pair of basketball shorts that he must have brought with him yesterday.

“Morning oppa.” Y/N smiled. She had put on one of Jungkook’s shirts and her legs were bare. Her feet lightly rested against the door of one of the cupboard’s lazily swinging. Her hair was also slightly messy.

“Morning Yoongi.” Jin said as he moved the bacon and sausages around in the pan.

“Morning hyung.” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my head on his shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

“Breakfast is almost ready.” He announced as he turned to face me and kiss me properly. “So you three go and set the table.” He brandished the spatula at the three youngest who were giggling with each other. He kissed me again. “You look so cute in the morning.”

I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t really like being called cute. “And you look so cute with my cock up your ass.” I remarked, making him blush and swat at me with the spatula.

“Yah!” He said before laughing. “I don’t look cute. I look handsome.” He corrected, his plump lips forming a smirk.

“Well, I can’t argue with that, can I, hyung?” I smirked. I loved it when Seokjin was confident with himself - it was one of the sexiest things about him. I leaned up and kissed him again. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now, go help the little ones.” He said, stirring the eggs around in the pan so they wouldn’t burn. I smacked his ass before leaving the kitchen and making my way into the dining room. The sounds of shrieks and giggles filled my ears as I neared the door. I pushed it open to see Jungkook and Jimin play fighting with the cutlery, and Y/N sat on the table watching with glee in her eyes.

“Did Jin hyung not ask you to set the table?” I asked, making the three of them freeze and turn to face me. “Jimin, Jungkook, put down the cutlery and lay down the plates and glasses. Y/N, jagi, come here.” I wanted to make sure she was feeling okay after last night.

“Yes, oppa?” She asked, her eyes wide and innocent. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pecked her lips.

“How are you feeling after last night?” I asked her, searching her face for any signs of discomfort.

“I’m feeling perfect.” She smiled up at me. “Last night was amazing. A bit sore, but I think that’s expected.” I smiled at her softly, stroking her hair out of her face.

“Good.” I replied, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Although, if you are sore after Jimin, I don’t know how you’re going to take the rest of us.” Her mouth dropped open and her face flushed a bright red.

“Hyung, what are you saying to her?” Jimin asked, his hands on his hips.

“I’m just telling her some secret things.” I said cryptically. “Some dirty, secret, things.” I kissed Y/N again. “Go sit down, jagiya.” I kissed her one more time before she sat down. Jungkook sat beside her, with Jimin opposite them.

“Hyungie, next to me!” Jimin exclaimed, patting the seat next to him. I ruffled his hair as I sat down next to him.

“Who’s hungry?” Jin announced his presence as he entered the room, carrying the food. He quickly served it up to everyone before sitting down at the head of the table.

Everyone dug in, knifes and forks scraping plates and glasses clinking against the table.

“So, what does everyone want to do today?” I asked. Jungkook looked up at me, with his cheeks stuffed full of food. “Eat modestly, bunny.” I said, making him blush.

“Can we go to the amusement park?” Y/N asked, taking a mouthful of egg.

“Oh yes!” Jimin exclaimed and Jungkook nodded excitedly as he swallowed his food.

“What do you think Jin hyung?” I asked.

“It sounds like a good idea. I’ll go call our manager, and then we can go back to the dorm so Jimin can get some new clothes?” He asked, looking at Jimin for confirmation.

“No, I’ll just wear some of Yoongi hyung’s clothes.” Jimin said, grinning at me. “I like them. They smell like him.”

“Okay, so I just need to call our manager and see if they can rent out an amusement park for us.” Jin nodded, having another mouthful of food.

Y/N POV:

After breakfast, I made my way into the main bedroom to get some clothes for me to wear and get ready. I grabbed myself some lingerie before disappearing into the bathroom to have a quick shower and do my hair and make up.

After a nice, warm shower, I dried myself off with a towel and slipped into my lingerie. It was a dark purple lace set which Yoongi had actually picked out. I picked up the hairdryer and began to dry my hair. Over the blowing noise, I heard someone banging on the door.

“Y/N!” I heard them yell. I switched off the hairdryer and opened the door, being met with Jin. “Is it alright if I shower?” He asked, his eyes slowly trailing up my body. It was strange. I felt confident in this set. “Fuck, you look beautiful, sweetheart.” He said, taking hold of my hips and kissing me gently.

I smiled into the kiss, his pillowy lips enveloping mine. “Yeah, you can shower.” I said as we pulled away. “I just need to dry my hair.”

“I don’t mind.” He said, stepping into the bathroom to my surprise. “You look so gorgeous, I could just fuck you right here.” He smirked, his voice husky as he began to strip out of his clothes. His words caused a jolt of confidence to shoot through my body. I smiled at him lazily before jumping on the counter to face him, spreading my legs slightly.

“Then what’s stopping you?” I asked, making him growl as he stepped out of his boxers, his dick beginning to harden. I reached out to stroke him but he moved out of my reach, making me pout.

“Do you wanna stroke oppa’s cock, princess?” He asked, making wetness pool in my panties. I whined, making him chuckle and move slightly closer. “Go ahead, baby.” He obliged. I wrapped my hand around the velvet wrapped steel, making him start forward and grip onto the counter.

“Too tight?” I asked, worried that I was hurting him. He shook his head, his breathing uneven.

“Perfect, baby girl. Everything you do is so... fuck... perfect.” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. The bra was strapless so there were no straps in the way. “I think it’s just you in this set is doing things to me.” He pushed my hand off him. “I’m gonna cum if you keep going, and I’d much rather to be inside of you.”

I jumped down off the counter to pull off my panties before jumping back on the counter, spreading my legs so he could see my pussy. “Am I wet enough, oppa?” I asked innocently, making him groan again.

“You’re soaked, princess. Think you can take oppa’s cock without me stretching you?” I nodded eagerly. “Okay, baby girl.” He tapped the head of his cock against my clit before pushing himself into me bit by bit, his hips thrusting slowly so I had time to get used to his length and girth. It felt like he was moulding my insides so I could fit him perfectly. I hissed as I felt him push his cock entirely into me. “Look at that, I’m in your stomach.” He cooed, taking my hand and pushing it against the bulge his cock created.

“Oppa, you’re so big. Stretch me out so good.” I moaned as he rolled his hips. His thumb found a place on my clit, rubbing tight circles. I didn’t know what it was but I was already close to cumming, and I could tell he was from the way his thrusts were losing their rhythm.

“Are you close already, princess?” He asked when he felt me clench around him. “Don’t worry, me too.” His thrust got faster and sloppier, making me clench around him even more.

“Seokjin oppa, I’m going to cum.” I warned, feeling the familiar knot tighten in the pit of my stomach with every drag of his cock against my walls.

“Hold it.” He said sternly, his thrusts becoming impossibly faster. Moans began tumbling out of my mouth, getting louder and louder until he said those two words that made me scream. “Cum, princess.” My walls spasmed around him as I came, feeling him fill me up as his hips stuttered. “Such a good girl.” He moaned in my ear before capturing my lips with his in a gentle kiss.

He slid out of me slowly before grabbing a towel to clean up his cum that was dripping out of me. I hissed at the contact, feeling the rough material brush against my sensitive clit.

“Sorry, baby.” He whispered, throwing the towel behind him and sliding my panties back up my legs. “This fucking set...” He looked at me in awe, making me giggle.

“Didn’t you want to shower?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as I picked up the hairdryer to continue drying my hair. It was at the awkward stage between wet and dry, making it look like rats tails. I picked up my hairbrush and began to brush through it.

“True.” Jin nodded, turning on the shower and stepping in. “I’ll be out soon.” He yelled over the sound of the running water. I turned on the hairdryer and began brushing and drying while I waited for Jin to finish in the shower.

Not much to my surprise, he took ages. I had finished drying my hair and was almost finished with my makeup when he emerged, droplets dripping off the ends of his hair and rolling down his chest.

“You took ages.” I laughed as I began applying my lipstick. I had picked a light pink colour to compliment the light brown eyeshadow I had done.

“Yeah, well, it takes a long time to keep this handsome face perfect.” He said as he tied a towel around his waist. “You look even more beautiful now.” He said, glancing at me in the mirror as he applied some products to his hair.

“Thank you.” I smiled. I frowned as I looked in the mirror, playing with the ends of my hair, trying to decide what to do with it.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, resting his chin on top of my head.

“How to do my hair.” I said. “I don’t want to have it done because then it gets all tangled. I was thinking either french or dutch braids.”

“There’s different types?” Jin looked shocked. I nodded as I began to brush my hair and divide it down the middle. I tied up one half and began to braid the other.

“Dutch sticks out of your head and french doesn’t.” I explained. “So french is probably better.” I said as my fingers weaved my strands of hair over and under each other, braiding them in a tight braid close to my head. “See.” I pointed to the completed braid after I secured it with a hair band. I repeated this on the other side as Jin stroked a hand over it, feeling it.

“Teach me how to do that please?” He asked, looking at it in awe.

“Of course, but it takes a lot of practice.” I replied. I tied the hair and then took hold of his hand, pulling him out of the bathroom. He kissed me again before disappearing into the other bedroom to change his clothes and check on Jungkook and Jimin.

I walked over to the drawers which Yoongi had kindly sorted so I had some space for my clothes. I grabbed a pair of light denim jeans that had rips in the knee and a white tshirt. I looked in Yoongi’s wardrobe and saw a black and grey flannel shirt. I pulled it off the hanger and slipped it on, letting the scent of coffee and his cologne fill my nose.

“Hey, jagiya.” Yoongi spoke, making me jump and turn. He was lounging against the wall next to his wardrobe, a lazy smile on his face. He was wearing black ripped skinny jeans and a white v-neck shirt, exposing his collarbones that had bruises on them from last night. “You look good in my clothes.” He said, pulling me into a hug.

“You look handsome.” I observed, flicking a piece of his hair out of his face. “Especially with your messy hair.”

“Just because I didn’t have a chance to get in the bathroom what with you and Jin taking so long.” He smirked. “And I doubt it was because of these.” He fiddled with the end of one of my braids. “Jimin is in the sitting room if you want to go and wait there. Jungkook and Jin are still getting ready.”

“I just need to put my earrings in.” I said, noticing he had his hoops in. “But I wouldn’t recommend you have hoops in. Might get caught on something.” I moved over to the dresser and put in some silver heart shaped earrings.

“Y/N, baby.” He said from behind me. “I want you to wear this.” It was his Pisces necklace. I looked up at him.

“Any special reason?” I asked as he brushed a kiss to my cheek.

“No, just wanna see you wear it.” He said, putting it around my neck. I giggled.

“Thank you.” I turned to kiss his lips. “Hair, Yoongs.” I reminded him, making him whine at me. For a dom he could sometimes act like a little baby. “I’m gonna go spend some time with Minnie.”

“Okay, I’ll be out soon.” He said disappearing into the bathroom.

Hoseok POV:

I wrapped the towel around my waist as I emerged from the bathroom just having showered. Taehyung was sat on my bed on his phone, his legs crossed underneath him and his toes peeking out from underneath each knee. Namjoon must have still been showering since I didn’t see him anywhere. Tae had a slight frown on his face. He hadn’t been his usual happy self since the others left to be with Yoongi; he had become snarky and sad. I would hear him sometimes crying at night, but he would never tell us when he did.

He must have sensed my presence as he looked up at me as I dropped the towel to pull on my boxers, his eyes widening. “Hyung, you’re naked.” He observed, his eyes trailing down my chest.

“Yes, I am, baby boy.” I said with a small smile, pulling on my underwear and walking over to the wardrobe to pick an outfit for the day. “How about we go to the amusement park today?” I asked. “I already asked our manager and they are fine with it. They’ve rented it out for us.”

“I’d like that hyung.” Taehyung said, although he still sounded sad. I pulled on a shirt and sat next to him, not liking to see him suffer.

“What’s wrong, bub?” I asked. He shrugged and sniffled. “I can’t help if you don’t tell me.”

“Look what Yoongi hyung posted.” He showed me the phone. It was a video of Jimin and a girl who I presumed to be Yoongi’s soulmate dancing together. I had to admit, she was an amazing dancer. “Look at the caption.” I scrolled up. ‘These two soulmates seem to be getting on just fine.’ What did he mean? I knew that me, Taehyung and Namjoon had all seen colour when we made eye contact with her, but we just put it down to coincidence, thinking that it was just our soulmate rejecting the bond by getting married and that had just happened at the same time.

“How does she have multiple soulmates?” I was very confused by what he had posted.

“Why is she taking everyone away from me?” Taehyung sighed. “It’s just not fair!”

“Tae, you’ll always have me and Joonie, okay?” I took hold of his hands. “I promise you. Let’s go to the amusement park today and try to keep your mind off this. We can sort it later, if you want. Stop by Yoongi hyung’s apartment on the way back?”

“Okay.” Taehyung crawled into my lap and hugged me tight. “I love you, hyungie.”

“I love you too, my little prince.” I kissed his lips gently. “Okay, I need to get changed. Can you let me go, please?”

“Fine.” He huffed with a small pout. I pulled on some dark green trousers and some white trainers.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked. He nodded. I leaned on the bed and tickled the sole of his foot, making him let out a laugh and move his foot away. “Go put some shoes on then. Ones that will stay on your feet.”

“Hyungie, can I wear your clothes today, then.” He said, changing his mind. “My clothes aren’t practical.”

“Oh, they aren’t practical?” I raised an eyebrow, smiling at him playfully. “But you look so handsome.” I moved closer so our faces were inches apart. His breath fanned against my lips, becoming slightly uneven. “Do you need some help taking them off?” My voice was husky, making him gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he looked at me. When he didn’t answer, I smiled at him before pulling away. “I’ll get some clothes for you, start getting undressed.”

I went to my closet and picked out a pair of light blue denim jeans and a white top with some pale yellow converse. I also grabbed a zip up hoodie that I knew would be slightly big on him in case he got cold.

I walked back into the room and saw him sitting on the bed in just his boxers waiting for me. “Hey beautiful boy.” I smiled, setting the clothes next to him. “I got you some more comfortable clothes, okay?” I pushed the hair out of his face. He smiled at me and allowed me to hand him the jeans so he could put them on.

As he was getting changed, Namjoon walked in, wearing shorts and no shirt. “Why is TaeTae half naked?” He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly.

“Why are you half naked, hyungie?” Taehyung retorted with a cheeky smile.

“Ah, so we’ve got a sassy baby today?” Namjoon chuckled, walking into my wardrobe to grab a hoodie.

“Why are we all wearing my clothes today?” I folded my arms across my chest as Namjoon came out of my wardrobe.

He glanced over at the untouched bed where Jimin usually slept and sighed. “I miss them.” He looked regretful and guilty. “I shouldn’t have said what I said to Yoongi hyung. It wasn’t fair to him.” He bit his lip as Taehyung’s face filled with terror.

“You’re not going to leave me too, are you hyung?” He asked, making Namjoon walk over to him and pulled him into a hug, picking him up.

“I would never ever leave you, TaeTae.” He said, looking him in the eyes. “I promise.”

Yoongi POV:

Jungkook pulled into the empty parking lot at the Disney amusement park as Y/N’s face lit up with joy. She was sat in between me and Jimin, her head on Jimin’s shoulder and my hand on her thigh. The pair of them had been dancing together earlier, which I had filmed and posted for our fans to see. They had to get used to the fact that some of us were in a relationship now.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Y/N exclaimed as she unbuckled her seat belt and grabbed her small backpack that had her wallet, phone and a bottle of water. By the entrance gates there was a worker waiting for us.

Jimin stepped out of the car, adjusting his sunglasses and hair, before helping Y/N out and tucking her into his side with an arm wrapped around her waist. I got out and held Jungkook’s hand while Jin went ahead to greet the workers. He was wearing a tshirt today, showing off his tattoo sleeve. I pressed the heart on his hand, making him smile and kiss my lips. Jin returned holding our wristbands.

“They said they wouldn’t hang around us as there are workers stationed at each ride, but we have wristbands so they know we aren’t random people who have just wondered in.” Jin explained, handing us our wristbands. We all put them on and entered the park.

I could tell it had been a while since Y/N had been anywhere freely. The smile on her face was the widest I had ever seen. Jin had taken hold of Jungkook’s other hand while I had gone over to Jimin and Y/N to keep an eye on them. Y/N was between us, her small hands in ours.

“Where first?” I asked.

“I think we need to get ears and hats.” Jin said, eyeing the store to his left. “I know our princess needs some ears with a crown on them.”

“Jin oppa.” Y/N whined, hiding her face in my shoulder.

“I agree.” Jimin said. “Let’s get some hats and then we can go on some rides, and then get something to eat?”

“Good plan!” I agreed, pulling the pair of them to the store. “Pick whatever you want, I’ll pay.”

“But, oppa...” Y/N crossed her arms across her chest.

“No buts, jagiya, now go pick some ears.” I ushered her away with a small swat at her ass. “Your ass looks good in these jeans, by the way.” I whispered in her ear. She blushed and ran over to where Jungkook and Jimin were sorting through the ears to find the perfect ones. Jungkook gasped when he found a pair of Iron Man ones, the gasp loud enough that it made the worker jump. I quickly apologised before making my way over to the subs.

“You all picked one?” I asked. Jungkook nodded handing me his, but Jimin and Y/N looked torn.

“I can’t choose, hyung.” Jimin pouted.

“Neither can I.” Y/N agreed. They each had two in their hands. Jimin was holding some black ears with a rainbow bow, and another pair that had teal sparkly ears with a bow that looked like the magic carpet from Aladdin. Y/N had a pair of ears that looked like the sky with a bow with different coloured balls inside, and some plain black ears with the tiara from Tangled.

“Well, since Y/N is our princess, you should go with the one with the crown, and Minnie, you should go with the Aladdin one.” I said, making them nod. “Okay, give them to me and I will go pay...” I trailed off realising Jimin had also handed me the rainbow ones.

“Those are for you. Jin hyung is over by the hats. He said he was going to get a Goofy one.” He said. As he spoke, Jin came over with his chosen hat, setting it on the pile.

After we had payed and put on our chosen headwear, we went to our first ride, however, there were some people already there that were not workers. Y/N saw this and stopped walking.

“Who is that?” She asked, not wanting to go any further.

“I don’t know.” I said as we all stood where we were, just in case they were saesangs. I saw a worker walking past. “Excuse me.” I said, getting their attention. They walked over. “I thought we were supposed to be the only ones here today, so who are those people over there?” I pointed to where the group of three people were stood.

“Oh they were another group that your company put down who would be visiting us today.” The worker said with a bow. I nodded, still not completely sure that our company would have called two separate times.

“Thank you.” I bowed as the worker went their own way. “So, who could it be?”

“TXT?” Jimin suggested, glancing at them.

“Maybe.” I shrugged, but Y/N shook her head.

“That’s not TXT.” She said quietly. “That’s Taehyung, Namjoon and Hoseok.”

#bts ot7 #bts x reader #Poly BTS #bts poly #btspolyau #angst #fluff #dom!hoseok #dom!yoongi #dom!namjoon #switch!jin #sub!taehyung #sub!jimin #sub!jungkook #sub!reader #soulmate au #so far away

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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

Text

Lost & Found - 7

Pairing: Park Jimin x soulmate (oc)

Warnings: Insecurity, anxiety, abandonment

Word Count: 4.1k

a/n: as always, THANK YOU for reading! Thank you for reblogging (which is literally every author’s dream), liking, commenting (I DIE OVER YOUR COMMENTS/ASKS, THEY ARE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY) and just reading in gereral! Enjoy!

Chapter 7. Lie to Me

series masterlist

Jimin finds himself robbed of breath as he watches that red thread dancing in the wind, the twin to his own. His heart is unsure of whether or not it wants to beat like a drum or stop altogether, leaving him clutching his chest.

Slowly, so slowly that it almost hurts, he brings his eyes up to the girl’s face. Only catching her side profile, he can’t help but be taken by surprise.

Soft is the first word that comes to mind when he catches sight of her eyes, her cheeks and nose. Her lips are pursed from where she must be biting them, making him emit a choked sigh. Her hair, falling around her shoulders, is deep with color.

He watches with no small amount of devastation as her eyes land on Elle’s figure, the cat already bounding down the stairs to greet her in the street. Coming to a stop, the woman crouches down and sets her groceries beside her. She reaches out to scratch Elle’s ears, and Jimin is unable to do anything but watch as those pursed lips ease out into a soft, beautiful smile.

It’s a smile, Jimin realizes, that he was meant to wake up to for the rest of his life.

Stuck in his trance, Jimin sees the woman pull her phone out and type out a quick message. Slipping her phone back into her pocket, she grabs her groceries once again and begins to trek up the stairs.

Like the sound of a nail being hammered into his coffin, his phone pings with a text notification. He doesn’t look at it just yet, refusing to accept the reality. He keeps his eyes glued to the girl, his heart throwing itself at his ribs with undeniable vigor.

Step.

She turns to head up to the top right-hand apartment, Elle leading the way.

Step.

Now she’s fishing keys out of her pocket, saying something to Elle as the cat leaps through the window with ease.

Step.

She’s pressed up close to the door now, fumbling a little with the lock before the door gives way.

Step.

Making sure she has everything, the girl does a quick inventory of her bags, giving Jimin a complete view of her face for a split second before stepping inside.

Close.

The minutes tick by, but Jimin remains frozen in place, staring at that door with the number 6 hanging from it. The inside of his head turns into a hurricane, not giving him enough time to batter down the hatches before everything comes pouring down. Bringing a shaking hand to his mouth, Jimin finally tears his gaze from the door as it all becomes too much and the tears begin to stream down his face.

It’s there, quietly sobbing in his car, that Jimin realizes that he will be forever haunted by the image of his soulmate. And it’s there, one hand wringing the steering wheel while the other tries to silence his cries, that he curses the cruelty of fate.

Cutting the thread wasn’t enough, he knows that now. Just because his soulmate - Jolie is his soulmate’s name, how can a name be so beautiful? - cut the thread, doesn’t mean that she stopped fate. There are other common threads that bind them together.

Who could have expected it to come in the form of a cat?

Hands shaking violently, Jimin turns the key in the ignition. The bawdy tune on the radio is turned off the instant it comes on, and he’s left staring at his phone that sits atop his console.

Closing his eyes and grabbing it, he does his best to control his breathing. With tears still escaping his eyes, he looks at the message that arrived what feels like eons ago.

Jolie (Elle): Thanks for dropping Elle off! I hope it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience for you.

Jimin is at a complete loss for words, so he does the only thing he can.

He calls Namjoon.

✂

“Did you enjoy your night out?”

Elle preens on the kitchen counter, looking like she definitely did. I shoo her away, setting the groceries down and immediately beginning to put them away.

“Well, I’m glad. Good to know I was worried sick over nothing.” When Elle doesn’t begin to miraculously speak, I sigh. “You know, I went and saw that therapist today. The one my boss talked about a couple weeks ago.”

I pause for a moment, staring at the can of soup in my hands. Reading the nutrition label but hardly seeing it at all. It’s still early in the day, but I find myself already at a loss as to what I should be doing with the rest of the day.

“Now that you’re home, wanna go on a fieldtrip?” Elle perks up at my offer, tail lazily swishing back and forth. Putting the rest of my groceries away, I fumble around for my jacket. Then, staring at the envelope Namjoon gave me that still sits on my nightstand, I walk past it and grab a small business card sitting atop my dresser.

I have some homework to do.

If I’m supposed to come to terms with the events of the past couple of weeks, I might as well start with the person that assisted me in this entire process. That, and Christina may very well be the only person that doesn’t want to strangle me at the moment.

Chung-hei and Namjoon are supportive, but they see this as one thing and one thing only: wrong.

Elle is already waiting for me by the door when I reemerge, slipping the jacket on. She bounds out the door as soon as I open it, heading toward the small path that leads toward the park. I chuckle, the sound at odds with the uneasy feeling in my chest.

“Not that way,” I call to the confused cat. “We’re taking a bus to Itaewon.”

✂

Jimin is sitting on a stool by the kitchen island when the boys come stumbling through the door. He hardly flinches at the sudden change, only staring at the marble countertop. Staring at it like it might come up with the answers he needs, but not getting any input.

Namjoon received a call about an hour ago from Jimin, the younger boy nearly hyperventilating into the phone as he told him two things before dissolving into some sort of shocked silence.

“It was her.”

“Help.”

It didn’t take much for Namjoon to piece it all together. He had just been on the phone with Chung-hei that morning, trying to remember if Jolie had a white cat named Elle, and if Jimin was indeed in possession of that same cat.

Chung-hei had confirmed it, although she was just as shocked as Namjoon. What are the odds?

Apparently better than they thought, if Jimin’s current state is any indication.

Namjoon had wanted to stop Jimin, but after a long chat with his soulmate, he decided that it may be best to just let fate run its course.

Now, looking at Jimin who has finally lifted his head, he wonders if he was a fool for letting it go this far.

“Jimin-ah we’re home,” Taehyung announces, heading straight toward the island and taking a stool on his right. Yoongi takes the one on the left, Jungkook settling for wrapping his arms around Jimin’s shoulders and nuzzling his nose into his hair in the way that only Jungkook does.

Jin, j-hope, and Namjoon all weave around to stand on the opposite side of the island, exchanging worried glances. Unfortunately, none of them are experts in severed soulmate bonds. However, they do consider themselves to be Jimin experts.

Hopefully that will be enough.

“Do you want to tell us what happened?” The question comes from Yoongi.

It falls silent as everyone waits for Jimin to speak. The quiet seems to be pressing in from all sides, nearly suffocating them.

Raising his head a bit more but not looking anywhere but the countertop, Jimin relinquishes his lip from where he was chewing on it.

“Her name is Jolie.” Jimin’s voice is still a bit shaky, but he pushes forward almost as though this is his only chance to get the words out before they’re forever locked up inside his mind. “Elle is...her cat. She was grocery shopping, I thought she was nice.”

“You talked to her?” Jungkook asks.

Jimin shakes his head. “No...not face to face. I had her number, when I thought I was just texting Elle’s owner. She seemed friendly.”

It’s quiet for a moment until Namjoon can’t fight the guilt anymore. “I’m...she probably is, Jimin. Good people make horrible decisions, sometimes.” He barely gets the words out without confessing all that he knows. He’s dying to, but he can’t. Something stops him, begging him to wait a little longer.

Nodding absentmindedly, Jimin sighs. “Elle loves her.” He stares burning holes through the countertop now. “She ran like a puppy once she saw her walking down the street. I think...she is a good person. So why…?”

He doesn’t need to finish his question, everybody is already thinking the same thing.

“Did she see you?” Taehyung wonders aloud, looking at his best friend with nothing but sweet concern.

“No, I was already in my car. But she...she texted me.” Jimin takes a moment before choking out the rest. “She thanked me for returning Elle. Said that she hoped it wasn’t too inconvenient for me.”

Once again, silence reigns in the apartment. It’s a rare occasion; these four walls are rarely quiet.

Hobi shuffles on his feet. “Have you thought about...you know…”

“What.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Texting her back?”

Jimin finally looks up, focusing on Hobi. “Text her back? What would I even say? Why….why?”

Namjoon jumps in. “I think it might be good, Jimin. It may help you to get some closure? Just get to know her a bit better. Maybe you’ll find out why she made this choice in the first place.” What he doesn’t tell him is that he’s been meticulously checking the mail every day for any sign of Jolie’s letter. If she hasn’t written to him yet, maybe this is another way for his friend to get closure?

Jimin shakes his head. “I’m the last person she’ll want to talk to.”

“She doesn’t have to know that it’s you,” Jin chimes in.

“And besides,” Namjoon continues. “I think that maybe today was some sort of sign. She can’t turn away forever, you know? Fate will always find a way.”

What he was hoping might be uplifting instead has Jimin turning to look at him, some sort of cold fire flickering in his eyes before sputtering out. “I don’t want fate or whatever this is,” he holds up his thread, “to just exhaust her into finally coming back to me! Is it too much to ask that she actually wants to be with me?”

“I didn’t mean it like-”

Jimin rises from his seat, prepared to walk away. “I’m not you, Namjoon!” His voice echoes through the house. “I didn’t get the girl! She took one look at me and thought that it would be better to ruin my life than be a part of it!” Jimin’s chest rises and falls, his breath rattling with the threat of sobbing.

Jungkook keeps his arms wrapped around Jimin, planting him in place. He’s always known Jimin so well; he knew that he would try to run and hide at some point during this conversation, to lick his wounds in peace without having to hurt anyone else. They’ll take it, though. They’ll take all of the barbed words in exchange for some sort of breakthrough. For Jimin to feel something again.

Jimin shakes his head, angry at himself for the tears and sobs that try to break through. “I’m so tired of crying, Namjoon.”

Namjoon remains on the opposite side of the island, unable to come up with anything to say, other than, “I’m sorry.”

But it’s Jungkook who musters up the courage to speak next. He’s quiet, still practically laying on Jimin and knowing that he’ll get away with it. Resting his chin on his friend’s shoulder, he sighs.

“Jimin-ah,” he begins, “You’re right, this is exhausting. But don’t you think that maybe she’s just...scared? And don’t you think she wouldn’t be so afraid if she got to know you? The Jimin that we all know isn’t scary, but all she’s ever seen are the promotions and concerts and suddenly she’s been thrown into a world where the one person that’s supposed to be her’s belongs to the entire world.”

The icy exterior that Jimin had been clinging to melts a little, his chin dropping to his chest. Jungkook sees the encouraging glances from his hyungs, and continues.

“It’s harmless to text her a little bit. Just get to know her. Let her get to know you. You can wait, to tell you who you are. But if you quit now, you will always wonder what could have happened.” Jungkook squeezes Jimin’s shoulders a bit tighter. “Do yourself a favor, and let it hurt a little more now so you can feel better in the future.”

“Rip off the bandaid,” Taehyung mumbles.

Yoongi stares at the countertop as well. “We’ll be here to help you know what to say, if you need help. But just because she shut you out, doesn’t mean that you should return the favor.”

Jimin closes his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply before letting it out. When he opens them again, the pain is still there. Like a splinter caught in his skin. Painful, but not unbearable. Not when he’s got more important tasks to attend to.

He looks up at Namjoon, his cheeks a little red from embarrassment due to his outburst. “I’m sorry, Joon. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”

Namjoon shakes his head, offering up a small smile. “I know. Don’t worry about it.”

At that moment the doorbell rings, everyone looking at each other with confused expressions. Jimin’s heart rate picks up, his imagination running while.

Did she see him? Does she somehow know what he’s planning to do? Is she angry and here to-

“Chicken!” Hobi shouts, bolting from the kitchen to the front door. Everyone dissolves into laughter, the uneasy tension from before dissolving a little.

Once Hobi returns with several boxes of chicken, explaining that he called for it just before entering the house, they turn back to the matter at hand.

Jimin stares down at his phone, wondering how on earth to begin. Jin coughs around his food before speaking.

“Just start with something that you have in common,” he suggests.

That common thread that is trying to no avail to bring them together.

Elle.

✂

Elle, I have come to learn, believes that she is above taking the bus. She must have gotten a hint of the high life last night with whoever she stayed with.

She’s currently poking her head out of my bag, which she immediately burrowed herself in upon finding boarding the bus. I smirk down at her, keeping my eyes averted from everyone else. It’s nice to have a little friend with me. It helps me ignore all of the people staring at me.

Or rather, my thread.

No one has dared to ask about it. Yet.

It should only take about twenty minutes to get to Itaewon. Hopefully that’s enough time for me to slip away before someone plucks up the courage to talk to me. If they approach, maybe Elle will hiss at them.

Judging by the way she’s nuzzled into my bag, I suppose that may be too much to wish for.

Riding the bus and watching the city slip past through the scratched windows has always been the strangest form of therapy for me. It’s crowded at times, loud and overall an awkward experience for many. However it’s often one of the places where I can just slip away. Dream with my eyes open as street shops and people drift into the rear view.

I’m just entering that dreamstate when I feel my phone vibrate. Slipping it out of my pocket and ignoring the whispers coming from a group of friends a couple of rows behind me, I glance at the new message.

It’s from the person that dropped Elle off, finally returning my message of gratitude.

UNK: It wasn’t inconvenient, don’t worry. If I’d had it my way, I would have hung out with Elle all day. 😸

I snort at the message, leveling Elle with a glare. “Sounds like you two are close.” Elle stares back up at me almost as though challenging me to do something about it. I roll my eyes. “You think you’re wrapped around their finger, huh? Watch and learn, princess.”

ME: Did you use the cat emoji bc of Elle or are you the kind of person that regularly uses cat emojis??

I wait with my phone in my hands, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I watch the person on the other side appear to be at a loss. Those three dots pop up for a moment before disappearing again.

It happens again and again, and I finally decide to put my phone away instead of watching them struggle to make up their mind. There’s only about ten minutes left of the trip, anyway.

Another five pass before my phone vibrates. Giving Elle a pointed look, I take a look at the response.

UNK: ...so what if I use cat emojis?

UNK: they’re there to be used, you know. Maybe you should quit ignoring them and give them a chance. 😿

“Ha!” It takes a moment before I remember that I should try my best to not appear like a crazy woman. “See?” I whisper madly. “They’re practically begging me to keep chatting.”

ME: Wow.

ME: I feel like you took that very personally. Elle didn’t tell me that you’d be like this.

There’s another stop, a few people getting off but many more getting on. Most of them sit down without sparing me a glance. Only when they’ve all settled down and gotten lost in their conversations or phones do I allow myself to relax.

UNK: are you the kind of person that talks to their cat??

I give a startled chuckle, delighting in the distraction this conversation is allowing me. Before I can fire off a response, another text comes through, making me stifle a laugh.

UNK: 😼

Maybe it’s the silly conversation, or the fact that Elle has gotten to a position where she can rub her head against my leg. Maybe it’s the view outside, the late afternoon sun pouring down on the people outside, and me, watching the world through the bus window.

For the first time that I can remember since I cut my thread, life seems a bit more manageable.

I feel like I can breathe.

✂

Jimin can’t breathe.

Not with the way all of the members have crowded around him on the couch, Jin still munching on some chicken while he peers over Jimin’s shoulder.

“I liked that last text. It was a nice touch,” Yoongi croons from Jimin’s side. “Gotta stick to a theme.”

The others grunt in agreement, hardly noticing the absolute strangeness of the situation. Taehyung slings his arm around Jimin on the other side, never once looking away from Jimin’s phone screen. He hums to himself while they wait for those fated three dots to appear.

Jungkook’s neck is about to break from the way he’s craning it, sitting on the floor before Taehyung’s legs. It’s a miracle that he can see anything at all.

“Is she texting yet?” He asks, hissing as he rubs a sore spot on his neck. He gives up trying to see what’s going on, facing forward again. Hobi, sitting beside Taehyung, automatically reaches down and begins massaging the younger’s neck.

“No, not yet,” Hobi sighs. “I wonder what - OH SHE’S TEXTING!”

Everyone presses in closer to Jimin, the boy in question gritting his teeth with anticipation. “Do you think she suspects? Have I been too obvious?”

Jin produces another chicken leg from somewhere, offering a bite to Namjoon who doesn’t hesitate to chow down. “No, she doesn’t. You’ve been totally aloof.”

“Yeah, you’re good,” Namjoon says around his food.

Together, the seven of them stare at those three dots rippling across the screen. When they disappear for a moment, everyone groans. It doesn’t take long before they reappear, and suddenly a message appears.

“What does it say?!” Jungkook scrambles to his knees, struggling to get a good view.

Jimin groans, shouldering his way forward until he’s leaning in front of everyone. “Shh, let me actually read it.”

Jolie (Elle): Haha, touché. I feel a little weird texting an unknown number...do you have a name I could save you under? Or should I just settle for a cat emoji?

“...what do I do?” Jimin turns to face the others, a flicker of panic painting his features. “I can’t tell her that it’s actually me...she’ll quit talking to me!”

Yoongi shrugs, completely unbothered. “Just give her a fake name. Like, Jaemin or something. Close enough.”

“Ha! Yeah, do Jaemin. Reminds me of James Corden trying to say your name,” Jungkook cackles.

Jimin looks at the other members with big eyes, waiting for some other offer. Something better. Taehyung pats his shoulder.

“I know you hate lying but...I don’t think you have much of a choice.”

Sighing, Jimin types in a response. He holds up the phone for everyone to see, waiting for their grunts of approval before hitting send. A knock on the door has everyone except for Jin turning their heads.

“Don’t tell me you ordered something else,” Namjoon gripes. Jin just chuckles quietly, reappearing a few moments later with an armful of boxes. Jimin recognizes them immediately: it looks like an assortment of churros and other treats.

“Hyung,” Jungkook watches the procession with wide eyes. “What’s this?”

“Would you go grab the rest?” Jin asks instead of answering. Jungkook leaps to his feet, bounding toward the door where more treats await. His shouts of excitement drift back to the boys.

When everyone gives Jin an appalled look, he just shrugs his shoulders. “What? I figured that we’re going to be here for a while. Might as well get comfortable.”

✂

UNK: No, I won’t make you stoop so low as to use a cat emoji. Park Jaemin should work fine.

I nearly stumble down the steps of the bus as I make the mistake of pulling my phone out to see the latest response. Once Elle and I have made it safely to the sidewalk, I proceed to stare at my phone in utter horror.

Rereading that name again and again until I’m sure that I’m reading it correctly.

Why did it have to be such a similar name?

There’s a slight tremor to my hands as I try to come up with something to say. Saving the number, I take a deep breath. Elle watches me from the safety of my bag, mewling softly.

“Gimme a sec,” I sigh. “Is this some sort of cruel joke?” My mind is spinning too quickly to think clearly, so I pocket the infernal device and take a moment to orient myself. Heading down the street, I wait until I’ve made it a block before attempting to form a reply.

It would appear that my new friend is a little impatient. By the time I stop on the corner, there’s already another text waiting for me. The new contact name has me gritting my teeth, but I push past the initial shock that rocks me.

Park Jaemin 🙀: Unless you don’t like that name? I could always choose a different one.

“He’s a little...weird.” I glance down at Elle, who seems inclined to agree with me. “But nice, I think.” Mustering up all of my courage, I punch out a reply and send it before I can think twice about it.

ME: That’s fine. Jaemin it is. I just didn’t realize you were a guy? Elle always seemed wary of guys.

I set off down the street, finding it a bit different in the daylight than it was at night. That, and this time I’m not a hyperventilating mess. It doesn’t take long before I’m turning down an alley that I realize I’ve been seeing in my dreams lately, heading toward the tell-tale gray apartment with the warehouse attached to it.

There’s another text notification reaching my ears, but I ignore it for the moment. Knocking hard on the door, I wait to hear footsteps.

It takes a couple of attempts before a distant voice shouts, “Coming!” A few seconds later, the door is cracked open to reveal a disgruntled Christina.

She gives me a long look, recognition sparking in her eyes even as she looks entirely unimpressed by me. She eyes Elle, who stares right back at her.

“You know I don’t do refunds, right?”

There’s another text coming through, but I ignore it again. Instead I plaster on my best smile, which Christina sees right through.

“I know. That’s not why I’m here.” Glancing up and down the alley, I rub at my arms. Fighting off the sudden chill. “Mind if I come in?”

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#bts fluff #jimin fluff #bangtan #jimin x oc #bts x oc #jimin angst

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jikookuntold · 3 years

Text

Jungkook and His Cover Songs: Is “10000 Hours” about Jimin?

Disclaimer: The following post includes theories, lyric and numeric analysis, plus my personal opinions, so please don’t take anything seriously. I’m too lazy to upload photos and videos for the moments I mentioned here, but I’m sure you know about them all. Any Jikooker must know. And I’m not Korean or a Korean culture expert, I just know as much as any Stan Twitter ARMY knows about their culture.

Anyone?

Maybe one of the biggest Jikook moments of 2021 so far, is where Jimin jumped into Jungkook’s hug, in Lee Hyun’s Vlog. But the other moment on that Vlog was even more significant; Jungkook was singing “Anyone” from Justin Bieber’s new album, and Jimin was harmonizing with him while holding on his shirt. I don’t want to mention their interview moment singing “Peaches” because I know this song is super popular in South Korea right now and somehow it doesn’t count as a moment. But it’s safe to say that Jikook has something special with his songs, and JK in particular always was invested in him.

JK & JB

The reason behind Jungkook’s devotion to Justin Bieber was always a big question for me, and I got my answer not long time ago. Jungkook’s playlist for Melon Radio Station included a song from JB’s new album named “Lonely”. This is one of the most personal songs any artist can ever make, and JK recommended it to his audience. Here are the lyrics of “Lonely” by Justin Bieber:

Everybody knows my name now

But somethin' 'bout it still feels strange

Like lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself

And seein' somebody else

And everything is not the same now

It feels like all our lives have changed

Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down

But it's killin' me now

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

I'm so lonely, lonely

Everybody knows my past now

Like my house was always made of glass

And maybe that's the price you pay

For the money and fame at an early age

And everybody saw me sick

And it felt like no one gave

They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

These lyrics made me think of one specific thing, the thing that JK and JB have in common: They started their careers at a very young age, and their lives have been under the scrutiny of so many people. These people judged and criticized them but never tried to understand them. The lyrics are straightforward and leave no place for interpretation. By recommending this song, JK showed that he had (and probably still has) the same experiences in his life, and I think the reason he recommends or covers JB’s songs more than any other artist is that he has many things in common with him, and feels connected to his songs.

This can lead us to another theory: By covering a Justin Bieber song, Jungkook shares something about himself with us, something that he can’t express directly.

Jungkook is interested in JB’s songs, but he is not the only one. As I said earlier in this post, Jimin shares the same taste with Jungkook, and my receipt is not just that “Anyone” or “Peaches” harmonizing moments, but also Jimin’s Spotify playlists. Since 2017 (or earlier, I’m not sure about this part) he has added some JB songs to his official playlist, and even his current playlist (July 2021) has two JB songs. And also let’s not forget the fact that Jikook as a subunit started in 2014 with a JB cover. Yes, I’m talking about “Mistletoe” and as you may know, Jimin translated the lyrics of this song to Korean.

10000 Hours

Nearly 700 words and I haven’t started yet! The subject of this post was supposed to be the connections between “10000 hours” cover and Jikook but this prelude was necessary to clarify all the aspects of the topic and we find out how JB is special for JK and Jimin and how they (especially Jungkook) feel connected to him. Anyways, back to 10000 hours:

Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber released this Grammy winner song in October 2019. Here are the lyrics:

Do you love the rain, does it make you dance

When you're drunk with your friends at a party

What's your favorite song, does it make you smile

Do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Do you miss the road that you grew up on?

Did you get your middle name from your grandma?

When you think about your forever now, do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Ooh, want the good and the bad and everything in between

Ooh, gotta cure my curiosity

Ooh, yeah

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that

Sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

And I'm gonna love you

As you can see, the lyrics are 100% romantic, and the singers including JB, have dedicated this song to their lovers. Also, their girlfriends/wives have a cameo in the MV, which leaves no place for speculation for the context of the song: Even though the uncertainties always exist and no one knows about the future, our love is strong and will stay strong regardless of time.

The Cover and the Theories

Nearly one year later, on July 28th, 2020, Jungkook surprised ARMYs with a short video he tweeted at 11:56 AM. That video was a 49 seconds cover of 10000 hours. A few minutes later, he deleted the tweet (apparently with the advertisement excuses, because it was tweeted from an iPhone and they have a contract with Samsung). Later that night, Jungkook released the full version on Sound Cloud and tweeted the link at 11:47 PM.

Jikookers discovered numerous theories that day about the times of both tweets; if you add the digits of the time, the result is “13” for both tweets 1+1+4+7=13, 1+1+5+6=13, and as you already know “13” is Jikook’s magic number. Also, the first video he tweeted was 49 seconds and 4+9=13. But in my opinion, this theory is not strong. I know that numerology is very popular in Korean culture but still, all of this can be coincidences, but the other things I’m going to bring up are most likely not.

28th July 2020 was the 7th anniversary of the first Jikook selca posted after debut. This also might be a coincidence and to be honest, it cannot be a strong link to make a connection with Jikook, but worths sharing.

The next thing that many Jikookers also pointed out, was related to the title of the song. The lyrics say “10000 hours and 10000 more” and 20000 hours after the 28th of July is 8th November 2022. As you may know. Jikookers believe November 8th is a significant date for Jikook. I believe this can be a coincidence either, and it’s very unlikely of Jungkook to do such calculations (Koreans are interested in numbers when it comes to days and dates, but counting hours is not usual in any culture. Other than that, I’m still doubtful about the origins of the November 8th theory because we have nothing other than two tweets and G.C.F Tokyo release date and their hotel room in Tokyo which still can be coincidental). But I don’t deny these theories because even as a coincidence, it’s still very interesting.

And the next theory is connected to the “Red Moon”. On 27th July 2018, a total lunar eclipse happened all over the world, which became known as the red moon. At that time, BTS were in Malta, and on the same night, Jikook were watching the red moon on a boat. They shared plenty of photos and videos of that moment and I’m sure as a Jikooker you have seen them all and you know that night had a very romantic mood (BigHit words, not mine) for Jikook. So, a second anniversary for that night and the day after that night can be a significant date to release a very romantic cover. Is this a coincidence too? I think we had many of them already.

And last but not least is something connected to Korean culture. You probably know that 1000 days anniversaries are very important for Koreans and they celebrate them along with real anniversaries of the important dates in their lives. And guess what? 27th July 2020 is 1000 days after 31 October 2017. This day is the day Jikook’s travel to Tokyo ended and they posted their couply mirror selca on Twitter with flower bouquet emoji. Despite the one-day difference (the same case for the red moon anniversary), this is not a minor event or small coincidence. I believe Jungkook posted “10000 hour” cover for this reason and based on this, the other theories I mentioned earlier can be true either.

The lyrics hit different if you read them again, after knowing this fact. Right? I don’t want to make this post much longer but before wrapping up, I want to talk about the lyrics of “Anyone” by JB (the song Jikook were harmonizing in Lee Hyun’s Vlog):

Dance with me under the diamonds

See me like breath in the cold

Sleep with me here in the silence

Come kiss me, silver and gold

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

So, just hold on like you will never let go

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone (anyone)

Not anyone

Forever's not enough time to (oh)

Love you the way that I want (love you the way that I want)

'Cause every morning I find you (oh)

I fear the day that I don't

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

'Cause certain things are out of our control

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

Only one (I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (I've ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

It's not anyone, not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, oh

If it's not you, it's not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, whoa

Yeah, you are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya) gotta tell ya

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done, oh, yeah)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

If you read the lyrics, you will notice that the context is very similar to “10000 hours”. It talks about the uncertainties of a beautiful love or in other words: No matter what the future brings to us, this love will last forever.

This context of uncertainty and unknown future for a romance is a common concept in many of the songs Jungkook has covered and it’s not limited to the Justin Bieber covers he has done and maybe this concept can be the topic for my next analysis.

#jikook #jikookanalysis #jimin #jungkook

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hollyhomburg · 4 years

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Of Fire and Love Pt. 4

(Dragon! Yoongi x Reader) (Ft. Baby! Jungkook and Baby Dragon! Hoseok, Fairy! Jimin x Dragon! Namjoon)

W/c: 20.0k

Tags: Genderfluid! Jimin, changing pronouns, Questioning! Hoseok, non-sexual talk about dicks and pussys, knotting, mentions of overstimulation, Touch of breeding kink, Mentions of infertility, War, bullying, mild angst, Heaps of domestic fluff, Koo and Hobi grow up, violence/blood gore warning, time leaps,

A/N: you guys are gonna be mad at me for the end of this but keep in mind the length of this chapter, and the fact that I will not be able to update for a little while. At the beginning of this part Hoseok and Jungkook are 8 and 10, and but the end of it they are 13 and 15.

Series Masterlist

- The second after a very naked fairy pops in an out of view is nearly unbearable in its awkwardness. Namjoon splutters for something to say and you try to take a sip of tea but end up choking on it. A moment later Jimin returns wearing a floor-length cloak of ebony silk beautifully embroidered. It matches the black lace intricacy of the dragon-fly wings that stick out of his back. They’re folded down towards the floor, iridescent and fluttering.

- He apologizes, much to Namjoon’s bright red-faced embarrassment, And Namjoon mentions that it’s just not in his nature to wear clothes much- gets in the way of flying and all. It’s a flimsy excuse- one that all of you are happy to leave unpunished.

- The fairy is pretty, his blonde hair curling over his forhead delicatly. He smiles and cups your cheeks when Namjoon introduces you and Yoongi stifles a smile to see you retreat at the sudden touch- it seems this level of physical contact is normal for Jimin. “Oh, you’re a pretty thing aren’t you- like a ranunculus or a tiger lily!”

- “Uhm,” you say, blushing as red as the flowers he calls you, “thank you?”

- “Do you spend much time in the fairy realms these days Jimin?” Yoongi asks after the fairy has fluttered over to pepper a kiss to his forehead, which Yoongi groans about. It shouldn’t surprise you- but somehow it does.

- Jimin cracks a feral smile- showing his sharper than seems human teeth, “You know I’d never resist the chance to terrorize my brothers and sisters Yoongi.” Jimin slaps him over the shoulder- your mate gives a little yelp looking scathed. “What was that for!?” “For not visiting sooner you bastard-”

- “Uhm, darling?” Namjoon asks, hand over his face, the same second Hoseok pipes up, “why did you call him a bastard!?” “Yeah what’s a bastard!?” Jungkook joins in. Yoongi runs a hand over his face, trying not to laugh, then reaches across the table to squeeze your hand.

- Although it takes the majority of the morning, once Jimin gets over his embarrassment (and once he apologizes for cursing in front of your boys) your two boys are absolutely enthralled with the fairy. Expressing interest in seeing Jimin fly. He buzzes happily and lifts off the floor- the action as natural as breathing. He touches down after a moment. Jungkook lifts one of them up and giggles at you through the mottled surface, completely ignoring Jimin’s “Aish little bug- these are delicate!”

- Jimin and Namjoon lean in close, Namjoon running a wide hand through Jimin’s blonde hair, and they tell all of you that flying is actually how they met. “You almost knocked me out of the sky!” Jimin cries. But he looks at Namjoon with something like terribly fond love instead of indignance like his tone might suggest.

- They’re something of a match made in heaven, the dragon whose hoarded object is plants, and the fairy that makes the plants sing with a twitch of his finger. You notice instantly- how all of the roses turn in Jimin’s direction when he walks, the flowers on the patio perking up.

- Jungkook is especially curious about Jimin and asks him countless questions about his kind and others. Hoseok too- his eyes lighting up when Jimin effortlessly hovers up and off the floor. As someone who wants to learn how to fly but can only glide for a few feet- picks his brain too.

- You can see the jealousy in Jungkook’s face- that boy has always wanted to fly- ever since he was little. And now that he sees someone human looking like him who has wings. You feel as though Jimin may have opened up a whole new vein of curiosity in your son. All of a sudden he’s asking you how many other types of things can fly. The world isn’t only birds and dragons anymore: now Jungkook’s world includes; birds, dragons, and Jimin.

- To answer his question- Jimin takes Jungkook to see their library on magical species. It’s the most complete in the city or so Jimin boasts. “Is he far along in his schooling?” he asks you, eyeing the way that the 7-year-old is pulling out some tombs’ from the shelves, only to cause a mini avalanche- Hoseok giggling as he clears Jungkook’s face from the debris. Dust coating both of them.

- “When he says ‘he can’t wait to read them’ he just means he can't wait to have me read them to him” that tempts a laugh from Jimin’s mouth. “Very well then, I better show you a few that you’d both enjoy” He even sends Jungkook and you off with a little parcel of them for his own collection. Impervious to your thanks that only make the fairy shy.

- Jimin and Namjoon are the best hosts, ready to take your sons down to the sea cliffs the moment they beg- though really- Jimin has hardly even had breakfast. the narrow steps lad to a beach with soft sands. Where Hobi can ripple and curl through the water- Jungkook and you walking along the beach collecting shells, Hobi piercing the top of the waves with a splash His claws digging into the sand as he happily trots after you- only to be tempted back into the water by the sight of a fish.

- He actually does manage to catch one at one point. A shiny thing with dark scales. He lets out a happy little roar, summoning the rest of you too him, Namjoon and Yoongi trot down the beach, neither of them wearing shoes, Jimin flutters over quick. “That’s a good one!” Namjoon says appreciatively, trotting to the edge of the waves and taking it from Hoseok’s little mouth, holding it up to show the others. “We can definitely cook this for dinner,”

-“Good job my little hunter” Hoseok nibbles affectionately at Yoongi’s hand as it passes over his we head- and it makes you a little stupidly proud, Yoongi too- has his chest a little puffed up. Hoseok does a quick circle, snapping his wings free of water before he bounds back off in the direction of the waves.

- Unfortunately, his enjoyment is only temporary- because as soon as he gets tired with fishing and really starts to dry off his feathers curl from all the salt. Some sand sticking here or there much to his discomfort. Even when he shifts back he’s fidgety, says he can still feel the sand in weird places.

- That night, after your bellies are full of Hoseok’s fish (he caught two more- you’re both so proud) you curl up at the edge of their large fireplace. Hobi sits in your lap your brush in your hand. Combing him through like always. Letting out little grumbly whines when you have to switch out the water once it fogs up with the salt He fidgets, his claws scratching through his feathers to try and get some of the sand out.

- A few feet away Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jimin play some sort of betting game, jimin in a pair of thin trousers and a long billowing silk shirt in the style of ages passed. Your son perched on Namjoon’s lap next to him. They’d invited you to play- but whatever game it was it seemed complicated enough for you to bow out without much of a fight. You were far too content to see them all a little riled up, punch drunk and sleepy- a little irate when the others played a card, their banter years in the making and kind of fun to listen to from an outsider's point of view.

- Mostly though- you just appreciate the sight of your mate; sitting with his legs propped up, his shirt unbuttoned nearly down to his navel. He catches you watching sometimes, leveling you with a heavy look that just won’t abate, his dark eyes flickering in the light of the fire.

- “I’m telling you that move won’t pay off” Namjoon’s deep but gravely voice croons. Next to him, Jimin uses his hand of cards to hide his smile. But Jungkook just eggs him on- only to be laid bare a few minutes later much to your mate’s groan. Jimin throws his head back to laugh, as he collects the pot in the middle (they don’t gamble with real money- but still- he looks like a dragon circling a new treasure)

- More than once that evening, you catch Jimin looking at your two sons with a hint of sadness. His gaze flickering down to Hoseok asleep in your lap. Especially when you stand and move to sit at the table, Hoseok shifting- finally more comfortable. You pout down at Hoseok and say fondly, pushing at his shoulders playfully. “You need to stop growing, pretty soon you’re going to reach my waist and that’s just not okay- you need to stay small forever.”

- You sit next to Yoongi, your mate leaning back in his chair to put an arm around you- a comforting hand on the back of your neck. Namjoon’s gaze hovers of Hobi, sitting in your lap before you catch him looking, and his gaze somehow feeling chastise, flutters away.

- “Uncle Minnie’s winning so I wanna be on his team” When Jungkook sits in Jimin’s lap he goes ramrod straight- hands hovering and eyes wide, Jungkook oblivious to his surprise. Unsure how to hold the youngster. Eventually loosely holding him around the waist to keep Jungkook from sliding off.

- Namjoon see’s his mate hold the youngster's hand, Jimin’s own so large in comparison. The two of them sharing a pained look, all you know is that one-moment Jimin seems fine- and then the next he’s trying not to cry, looking heartbroken but happy to have Jungkook in his lap.

- Jungkook is nearly asleep when you take him from Jimin, his hands hovering on your son’s small waist like they don’t want to let go. As you bid each other goodnight you could swear you saw longing and jealousy in his eyes, Namjoon’s too, but also something so sad- so wanting. From the top of the stairs, Hoseok asleep in Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook in yours you see Namjoon wraps his arms around Jimin's shoulders, the shorter fairy turns his face into Namjoon’s to hide his suspiciously glassy eyes.

- Later you’ll ask Yoongi about it, curled up close in your bedroom upstairs, his long fingers stroking delicate lines down your sternum, your hands connecting the dots on his many freckles while you talk the way that lovers do. Words pressed thin between the blanket of sky and wakefulness. Yoongi’s voice a low hush, like music on the salty wind meant just for you.

- You think you could like it here by the ocean if you decided to stay.

- “Hoseok and Jungkook just remind them of what they can’t have,” Yoongi informs you that Namjoon and Jimin have wanted kids for the last century (you splutter at that- because you hadn’t realized that they were quite so old- Jimin especially had more of an air of a youthful sprite than someone older than Yoongi).

- And despite the fact that all fairies’ can bear children, Namjoon and Jimin had failed to have any children of their own, and have all but given up on it. “That’s why you didn’t want to visit- not at first.” Yoongi hums in affirmation, and you feel it in the cheek that you rest on his chest. His arm encircles your back and his hands rub over your spine soothingly.

- You’d notice- how could you not- how Jimin seemed as much a woman as he was a man. Though you’d heard Namjoon refer to Jimin as “he” enough to be content with using those pronouns, there where other moments, moments when Jimin’s hair seems a little longer, his lips a little redder and plusher, the curve of his jaw softer.

- The fairy seems just as comfortable in a pair of tight flying pants as she is in one of her many long and semi-translucent robes, that Jimin seems to prefer on the days that they don’t have to fly.

- He pops up one morning wearing a full-on dress- gauzy and white- and Jimin’s chest- definitely ampler than it was the day before. You’re a little perplexed over the change, trying not to let your surprise show until Yoongi leans over to whisper in your ear. “It’s just the magic- she must be feeling more like a girl today.”

- Neither of your sons mentions anything weird about Jimin- though Hoseok does look at him a little wide-eyed. A question hovering on his tongue, probably the same one that you want to ask- but are too shy too (it’s not even really any of your business to ask in the first place- but your kids are a curious bunch- and you know they’ll probably ask at one point)

- Namjoon and Jimin give you a tour of the outside gardens (namjoon- cryptically- says that the greenhouse is best appreciated at night). Hoseok and Jungkook climbing up on one of the rock walls, balancing precariously until yoongi tells them to come down, Hoseok reaching for Jimin to help him, ending up in his arms, he’s a little heftier than Jungkook- but Jimin easily holds his weight as he transfers him from the high wall to the ground.

- Yoongi does the same with Jungkook, though the younger quite literally just- jumps off the wall into his arms instead of waiting to be carefully transferred like Hoseok- not an ounce of fear or hesitation in his little body.

-“Your hair is pretty,” he says, hands coming up to touch at Jimin's longer curls Jimin looks surprised, but his red button mouth is nothing but kind as he smiles and thanks your son.

- He finally asks later- once night has fallen and they can finally show you the greenhouse. The room seems to have some sort of magic expanding it beyond its physical bounds because while it’s normal-sized on the outside- on the inside trees grow dense and thicker than seem possible. A mess of pots and plants blocking out the slate floor more often than not With moss growing up between the cracks or pushed up by the roots of trees that seem too tall for the greenhouse.

- You’d stumble and almost trip over a vine and Yoongi catches you around the waist. “Are any of these poisonous?” you asked, and Namjoon rubs a hand down the back of his neck suddenly looking a little worried. “Maybe like- stay away from anything that looks too vibrantly colored? Wait! Jungkook! That definitely not edible even though it smells like chocolate!”

- At night- the flowers are particularly gorgeous. night-blooming cereus flowers that glow brilliantly in the darkness. Pink Flowers that look like little jellyfish and seem to flutter on their own hang in great swathes from the high ceilings. Bright blue lilies hanging, large enough for Jungkook to stick his head inside of them.

- Each of them let out a little tinkle of stars, little bright specks of light that glow brilliantly- like little stars. It’s only pollen Namjoon explains when it falls onto Jungkook’s face and makes his dark hair glitter like the night sky.

- Your sons have a good time after that- scooping up the pollen from the floor and shoving it in each other's faces, even Yoongi joins in, rubbing it all up and down Hobi’s face- much to the shrieking giggles that echo off the high glass walls. “Oh no you don’t! Hobi! Hobi” you chide when he giggles, running forwards to press his hand to your dark pants, leaving Hoseok sized glowing handprints on the fabric.

- Later you and Yoongi get a chance to slip away. Sitting in one of the large isles on one of the stone benches. Yoongi tucking a large flower behind your ear, kissing the little stars of pollen that has gathered on your face. “We haven’t talked about when we’re leaving yet- how long do you want to stay?” he can tell (he always can) when you’re getting a little overwhelmed. And you are- but maybe you’d want to leave more if things weren’t so new- so bright and fantastic. Getting to be apart of this world that you’d never known existed.

- The world that you’d grown up in starts to feel terribly small, Even more so than it had before. You and everyone you’d ever known had only ever thought that there where dragons and humans. Maybe an odd sorcerer or witch and wizard in the world. But this- this world of glowing flowers, of scales and magic, boys with fairy wings- was a lot to take in. And you were still struggling to piece together what this meant for you, and your little family.

- You’d been deep in conversation with Namjoon minutes ago, about which of his plants in his greenhouse could be used to cure various ailments. He’d given you a few- and put out other samples for you to dry. Showing you plants with uses you’d never dreamed of. This one to stop clotting- these small berries to stop pregnancy and it’s roots to help one take. A brightly glowing fern to heal a burn, and another to heal a magical burn. so many different plants you’d never even heard of.

- Suddenly- you’d been consumed with the realization that you’d kind of stopped being a healer after Jungkook had come into your care. Still- you’d kept most of your skills up to date, tried to make sure you didn’t forget what you’d learned.

- And yet- you kind of missed it. You missed how you’d used to help the people in your old little town. Regardless of the fact that they’d never properly thanked you for it. And though you felt a deep satisfaction over being a parent with Yoongi- and wouldn’t trade that for the world- you missed it still. Missed how you’d been able to look at the human body as a problem with something to fix.

- You’d love to find a way to continue to use your gifts healing- helping others- but you don’t exactly have that many opportunities too- given where you live in the mountains. And your children- which are getting easier to take care of now that they’re getting a little older- but still- they require a great deal of your time. You let the melancholy in your heart slide away as Yoongi thumbs across your jaw, bringing you back to him, sitting in Namjoon and Jimin's greenhouse.

- “I think- it will be okay to stay for a little while longer? I think the boys enjoy Namjoon and Jimin- and I like them too even if Jimin is a little” Yoongi suck’s his lower lip into his mouth- deciding that whatever had made you look so sad- if you’re not ready to tell him yet- then he’ll let it go.

- “He’s very different- I know, but I’m glad you like Namjoon and Jimin” “They’re your family Yoongi- of course, I like them” Yoongi leans close, pressing a kiss to each of your knuckles. “But you’re my family too.”

- Despite your initial misgivings about Jimin (really it’s only shyness you swear) you do end up spending a fair bit of time with him that night. Especially when you start quiz Namjoon about the ways he propagates some of his plants. And he says, “Actually- Jimin knows more about the specific uses- he’s the real grower here after all.”

- You walk with Jimin in the gardens- you children winding this way and that around you- Yoongi and Namjoon trying to wrangle them. Namjoon reluctantly letting them pick whatever flowers they want. Even heaving Jungkook up onto his shoulders at one point so that he can reach a tall bloom, a dimply smile brighter in the half-light of all the glowing flowers.

- When Jungkook has Retrieved his prize he scampers off of Namjoons shoulders dashing away through the underbrush calling, “thanks uncle Namjoon!” making Namjoon choke. Yoongi gives him a withering look, deadpan “you’ve been forcefully adopted.”

- Behind you- Jimin waves his hand and more pop up, every plant in the greenhouse standing to attention blooms popping open for your children to pick. Yoongi sends him a thankful glance.

- The longer you walk- the quieter Hoseok gets. You know it’s just him getting sleepy. And as always, when he gets a little more tired he hangs closer to you, holding your hand as you walk side by side with Jimin. He almost trips on Jimin's long silvery grey robes. Sometimes when he gets so tired- he accidentally shifts- and you can tell from the way his little feet are dragging that he’s close to that now.

- More than once in your conversation Hoseok looks up- words almost leaving his mouth before he falls silent. Near the end of the tour of the garden, Jimin catches him- touching him gently on the shoulder. “I can tell you have a question for me little sprout- go on- you can ask.”

- Hoseok must be feeling a little shy because it takes a moment for him to respond. “Are you a boy- or are you a girl?” it’s just childlike curiosity. But you almost want to stop him. Tell Jimin he doesn’t have to answer. But before you can- Jimin leans down to Hoseok’s level.

- “To tell you the truth, being a girl or a boy doesn’t matter much in our part of the world. What matters is that you’re good to the people who need you and kind to the people that don’t when you meet, do you think you’re kind Seokie?”

- It’s kind of riveting, seeing the way your son tilts his head at the fairy, thinking softly to himself- the flowers around you almost seem to lean in to listen closely. you too, want to see how he responds. “Well, I always try not to step on flowers when I see them?” he says, eyes flickering to the flower behind Jimin's ear and the many around him.

- Both of you bark out a laugh, the plants seem to shiver in delight at his words in time with the shaking of Jimin's shoulders. Jimin urges Hoseok on with a hand at his back, “then you must be incredibly kind- go- find your brother. I think its time for both of you to get to bed.” Hoseok’s curls bounce as he runs down the aisle, calling Jungkook’s name. Jungkook does not call back- instead, his voice echoes sing-song- “flower! flower flower flower~” some sort of song he’s made up for himself on the other side of the greenhouse.

- Jimin straightens, and for the first time- the two of you find yourselves alone together. “Sorry- I didn’t mean to overstep” Jimin looks a little shy. A little worried at being chastised. You're quick to reassure him- “No it’s fine- please, it was bound to happen. There are so many new things here- even for me, I’m not sure I know how to navigate them, it’s better that he learns now.”

- Jimin laughs, “Is that why you’ve been tiptoeing around me?” you blush, Jimin’s words kind of stinging your chest because- he’s right- you have been a little shyer around him. But that comes more from a fear of being rude than anything else, overstepping some line only because you don't know it’s there.

- “It’s okay- I know this must be a lot for you- I’m a lot.” “No-no- that’s not it at all! Please don’t think that Jimin” your grab his hands in yours and under his skin- you can almost feel something humming- something that feels an offal lot like magic. He looks down at you sucking on his lip.

- “We’re pretty similar- you and I- aren’t we? Neither of us likes it when someone else is uncomfortable at our expense,” Jimin’s voice is soft like honey, almost shy and he fails to meet the gaze whey you try and catch it. “Maybe” you agree, picking up your pace from where you’d stopped, ducking under a wide leaf that crosses the path.

- “I’ve known Yoongi for so long- Namjoon and I have always wondered who Yoongi would choose as a mate- what kind of person they’d be- he’s so hard to get to know. But I’m glad he found you. You’re very well matched.”

- He means your shy nature probably, but it’s a compliment. “He’s my mate,” you say softly. You happen upon a wider stretch of stones, the little clearing that you where you came in before. On one side you can see your family- all of their heads pressed close over a flower- a massive red bloom- little fish swirling around in the pool collected in its stamen.

- Jimin nudges your shoulder- his smile turning devilish, “Probably can’t say you’re mad about that- what is it about dragons that’s so big-“ you choke on your spit, suddenly looking at him wide-eyed, Jimin gives you a few hearty thumps on the back waiting for you to get your breath- cringing internally.

- “I’m sorry I’m so crass, talking about sex is normal in my culture” You swallow thickly, “that seems a little…understandable considering?”

- “Considering what?” “Well…” you gesture to all of him, Jimin grins showing his sharper than seem safe teeth. The fairy leans in, his charming face swallowed with mirth- you feel his words as if they where whispered in your head, it must be the magic you tell yourself. Jimin laughs at your flustered expression.

- “Are you asking me which one I’ve got? a pussy or a cock?” you try to ignore the blush that sparks on your cheeks when you nod, their pale wings fluttering behind him in the inviting spring breeze, “god you’re fun to tease” you slap Jimin's arm good-naturedly and they lean into the touch, eyes disappearing when they smile.

- Namjoon must sense his mate, because he turns and gives Jimin a happy little smile, his eyes disappearing, dimples flashing. In his hair, Namjoon’s horns turn a little pink. The look in Jimin’s eyes as he gazes at his mate is almost feral, “I can have whichever one I want.”

- The six of you retire to your separate rooms, not before Jimin pulls you close- “just so you know- all of the rooms in this house have a soundproofing spell attached to them” Yoongi hears- so does Namjoon- and he has the good nature to cuff his mate over the back of the head and drag him away with a panicked ‘good night’ before he can be any more suggestive.

- That night you do end up taking advantage of the supposed soundproofing spell. Once you tell Yoongi he can’t seem to keep his hands off of you, nearly ripping your dress in an effort to get it off of you. You’d fooled around last night but Yoongi doesn’t often get the chance to knot you given on account of how vocal that makes you and how long it takes to go down

- You do have to admit- you tend to go at it like rabbits whenever you have the chance, as privacy is hard to come by with your children around you nearly always. Especially in your mountain home when you all sleep in the same space.

- You end the night with your legs thrown over Yoongi’s thighs, sitting sideways in his lap. You’re back against the bed. Yoongi’s knot tugging at your entrance, unable to keep your breathing steady with how he’s stretching you. You always forget how overwhelming it feels to have him so close, so fully and completely inside of you so that barely any thoughts remain. Yoongi props himself up on an elbow so he can watch you and run his fingers gently up and down your sternum.

- He leans in close and kisses you through your breathlessness, his tongue tracing along every inch of your mouth, drinking down your gasps, the way you say his name again and again- your walls quivering around him. A nearly feral growl building in his chest, leaning in to lick at the over-stimulated tears that start to bud as you let out little sobs at the pleasure still rippling through you with every pulse and lash of thick heat.

- His hands smoothing up and down your quivering thighs, jerking when he decides to tease you further and slide his hand slowly up and down your core. Stopping when you start to jerk, only to start up again when you calm down a little. A satisfying feeling filling him at how wrecked he can make you- at how well he can please his mate.

- His knot deflating isn’t an instantaneous process, but once it gets a little smaller he lazily grinds his hips closer. Letting it tug and rub against your walls in a slow push and pull making you gasp louder. Usually, you’d be biting the pillow to keep your noises down, but now you don’t have too.

- His words are almost a growl. “More?” you grab at him- pulling him back in for another kiss. You drop your face to his throat as he starts up again. It’s wet and messy and slick- and you’re going to have to apologize to the servants tomorrow for the ruined bed sheets but- you can’t help it.

- He’s insatiable, hands hungry over your stomach, he always gets a little laconic when he’s like this- a little closer to his more dragon headspace, hands possessive when he clutches over your stomach. Probably intent on fucking you full until it’s a little tighter than usual, a little swollen, the drive to breed you full a primal instinct.

- He kisses you again- a loud- feral growl rippling out as you kiss him back, messy and sloppy but he loves it. Needless to say- you’re glad that Jimin told you about the sound canceling charm by the end of the night. Even if your legs feel like jelly until noon the next day.

- You hand the sheets over when their housekeeper comes by to your room. trying to hide your blush. She’s understanding, mutters to you “you should see mistress Jimin’s sheets” Yoongi can’t help but laugh behind you.

- You’re happy to stay mostly at the manor house where it’s quieter. Content to spend a few days relaxing with your sons, joined mostly by Yoongi and Jimin and by Namjoon in the afternoons after his council duties have finished. But you are curious to see more of the city, if not for your own curiosity then for your children's.

- Hoseok is anxious about the possibility of school- and so are you. It will be good to see it before he actually attends. You decide to take a day trip into the city to see the school and one of the markets.

- The school is on the edge of the city on account of how much space it requires for flying lessons, rolling hills surrounded by high walls made of a sandy-colored stone. Namjoon arranges with the headmaster for the four of you to see a tour.

- The students are of every kind, color, and age group. clad in the school's simple uniform: a white robe with sleeves that only go to the elbow, and grey pants. the school's emblem, a firey leaf emblazoned over each of their chests. It will be a few more months until Hoseok needs them so you decide to forgo purchasing them yet, he’s still growing so much, they probably wouldn’t fit him by the time he starts.

- “This place is still the same,” Yoongi says as you watch a flying lesson between a small feathered dragon and a larger less birdlike instructor. Hoseok watches curious, you too- had never known there where dragons with beaks. “You went here?” you ask, and Yoongi nods, “it was more a military school back then.” The wind shifts, casting your scent in the direction of the students. At the smell of a human on the air, all of them turn and look in your direction- regardless of how their instructors shout at them to stay concentrated.

- “Can we go to the market now?” Hoseok asks, smelling you discomfort and looking up at you with a panicked glance. “Please?”

- The canals that run through the city are populated with sea serpents and small boats from the few traders that are allowed in. Wide mountains shroud the city from any attack by land. its walkways are crowded with dragons, most of them walking in human form but here and there, thick legs and wings scramble over the cobblestones.

- You see more than a few children as well, smaller dragons mostly preferring to be in their shifted forms who send Hoseok curious looks. Bumping him in the chest with their snouts and cocking their heads at him- like an invitation to play, only to hiss and scramble back to their parents when Jungkook comes near.

- You’re careful to hold his hand to keep him from running off, even when he pouts looking close to tears at being hissed at. “It’s okay Kookie! I’ll play with you when we get back to uncle Joonie’s house” Hoseok looks up at you for approval and you smile down at him, running your fingers through his hair in thanks.

- There are a few humans that live in the city- usually apart of one dragon’s hoard or even in rare cases, mated to a dragon-like you are to Yoongi. But they’re few and far between. You see a few of them, men and women who walk dripping in pearls or diamonds and carefully kept close by whatever dragon they’ve sworn themselves too.

- “Keeping humans against their will isn’t allowed don’t worry” Yoongi notes when you look at one young human who actually has a collar of sapphires around their delicate throat. The humans themselves smile and greet you and Jungkook, eyes lighting up to see another human, and the other dragons- just stare.

- Yoongi takes you to the market and the three of you ogle over the wears and fine silk clothes burnished to look like gold, thin gauzes that shimmer one color in the light- only to turn opaque when you bring it into the shadow. Your sons make a game out of bringing you fabric scraps that you might like- while a salesman talks to Yoongi about tailoring prices and ready-made gowns that would fit you. Yoongi grumbles and internally bemoans the loss of the quiet in his mountain den. Yoongi is defiantly not a city person.

- You do need new clothes though- and the staff here is far better made than the rough mountain clothing you’ve come to favor over the last few years- it’s nice to get a few more things- pretty things. Yoongi lightens up substantially when you try on a soft blue dress patterned with crises crosses of dark blue embroidery, a thick soft skirt, a shirt that hangs on your frame well- in a way that makes Yoongi want to growl and hide you from any prying eyes.

- It makes him happy too- to see the way you twirl and appreciate the fine fabric. Yoongi has always been a provider, and if the simple blue dress that you choose makes you smile- then that’s a price he will gladly pay. He smiles when you look up at him, “are you sure?” his hand on your waist reassuring, “you’re forgetting I get to see you in these- they’re basically a present for myself.”

- It’s at the market that a salesman who has bright golden scales dotting his face eyes Jungkook the same way that any dragon would eye a piece of his hoard. And Yoongi’s attention is immediately diverted from you. He feels the prickle at the back of his neck before he turns, he’s is careful to step close when the stranger talks to his sons even as Jungkook- always overly friendly, introduces Hoseok as his brother.

- Yoongi feels his heart warms at that, but keeps a steely gaze with the other dragon until he shrinks away from Yoongi’s intimidating gaze, disappearing back into the crowd. Yoongi can’t wait to leave the dragon city after that.

- Summer is edging into fall- and by winter- Hoseok will attend daily classes. Yoongi agrees to part with some of his hoard of jewels to buy some sort of residence, there’s no way that you’d ever let Hoseok live in the city alone, or even stay in the dorms at the school.

- But because of that, you’ll need to linger longer than you’ve planned. Your cave is almost a weeks flight away from the dragon city- and when it comes to procuring a residence, its easier to do a short tour here and there and try to find something while you're close to the city rather than try to make the trip back to your secluded cave in the mountains.

- Yoongi assures you that it’s not uncommon for the dragons that live in the countryside to send their children to school only during the winter session so Hoseok won’t feel too out of his element or like an outsider. And honestly- you’ll be glad to get out of the mountains during the worst part of the winter, escaping to the more mild countryside where it rarely even snows- nothing compared to the deluge that you’ve grown used to.

- Namjoon and Jimin understand entirely and are only too happy to have you linger. Both of them have grown a little attached to your boys, and your boys attached to them in kind. Many an afternoon will Namjoon come back from the council only to immediately be happened upon by Jungkook- hurling himself into Namjoon’s arms and Hobi- nibbling at his robes and tugging him away to the Ocean.

- And Of course on the days when you have a new possible residence to tour- Hoseok and Jungkook are eager to explore their new possible home. Giving you their rating on how much they like it or don’t. “I don’t like the rooms in this one- they’re too stuffy” “But come on Hobi that one has a stream! You can’t say you don’t like the idea of that?”

- The first few homes you tour are either too close to the city- or too far away, or on the other side of the city from namjoon and Jimin- and you can tell Yoongi likes the idea of seeing his friends more often. But eventually, you find it, a manor house that is actually more of a castle in an old section of forest. It’s in-between one of the first small towns in the countryside and the city. Barely an hour’s flight from the city and a half hour’s flight from Namjoon and Jimin’s home by the sea.

- Here the ginkgo trees are thick and yellow- a forest of gold spotted with weeping red maples that grow taller and thicker than any you’ve seen. Citrine and carmine leaves dotting the forest floor, impossibly bright. It’s the fifth home you’d seen, and the only thing you’d really disliked about the last place is how close you were to your neighbors.

- You know the second you see it it’s the one- it’s roof tiled in blue-green slate- windows tall and narrow with shutters to keep out the snow and wind. It’s so large- it’s nearly a small castle but that wasn’t a surprise; houses here needed to be larger on account of there more often than not- large and scaly residents. you hadn’t been surprised to find out that most residences here are built to be that large because of how much larger dragons tend to be.

- It’s old too, the single spire caved in a little and decrepit, vacant for about a year. once a secluded private residence of some wealthy merchant who lived in the city abandoned after a storm had damaged the spire. Dust hangs thick over every surface, but the furniture comes with it. Including a generous four-poster bed and balcony on the second floor that you and Yoongi claim as your room. Happy that you can finally close the door and have privacy between the two of you- something you’d lacked in your other home.

- there’s a small library as well, that Jungkook wants to tear through the second he sees it. Yoongi shows you the cavern below as well, accessed through the slightly hidden stairwell and an iron door with a formidable lock. its ceilings aren’t rough to warn- but High vaulted, it’s green-tiled floor slippery. It’s a hoard chamber, which yoongi tells you is the staple in many a dragon home. it’s the only room in the house that must have been cleared when its previous owner left. typical.

- But it might impress you a little bit your world view shifting a little. Of course- you’d seen Yoongi’s hoard- knew the size of it- had let him show you it long ago- back when your love was new and blooming, his face blushing and shy when you’d complimented it. But this was putting it in perspective- this room could fit barely a tenth of the treasure hidden in your mountain home.

- There is also a wide dance hall next to the kitchen, a balcony ringing it, skylights glittering above, one cracked in but easily fixable. It’s large- but barely large enough for Yoongi to shift in as long as he’s careful. it turns into a second bedroom of sorts, only used when Yoongi feels like he needs to sleep in his dragon form (it takes a fair amount of energy for him to stay in his human form all the time- and it’s much more restful).

- Hoseok and Jungkook have separate rooms on the other side of the manor, though you know that they don’t prefer to sleep separated from each other, you went into Jungkook’s room one morning and found it piled with pillows and blankets too- and both of your sons piled in the Centre of it. Forgoing the bed entirely.

- You sleep in your bed often, but still some nights, Hoseok will come trotting into your room in dragon form around bedtime, unable yet to sleep in his human form the way Yoongi does. Jungkook following sleepily behind holding the pillows from their beds in his hands.

- And regardless of the fact that it’s after their bedtime, the four of you will together every single couch cushion and throw pillow in the house, making a game over who can get the most the quickest. You pile it into the dance hall so that Yoongi can shift- and you sleep like dragons do, all soft and heaped together, surrounded by Yoongi and his warmth.

- It’s those mornings that Yoongi wakes feeling the most fulfilled, the happiest he’s ever felt. All of you safe here between his clawed arms. Your hands reaching up to sleepily scratch his scaled cheek. His head close to your resting form. Resisting the urge to lick out and groom you and Jungkook the way that Hoseok barely tolerates (dragon slobber is still gross- even if it is affectionate in its nature)

- It’s the safest place for your little family to live, in this part of the world where dragons are common and mixed settlements dot the old woods, and Yoongi tells you that werewolves aren’t that uncommon in this part of the country.

- “Werewolves???” You ask scathed, because honestly- the things your mate doesn’t tell you exists in the world- it astounds you sometimes. “They’re harmless really- unless you’re small and like- a dear or something?” “Do they ever attack or are they violent?” you’re worried, “no-no- they’re more like the ‘lets farm this land and live with the land’ type of people.”

- The rough dragon folk in the nearby town are different and smaller than their jewel-toned and massive counterparts that inhabit the city and other niches of the world. No- the dragons that live around your home are scaled in every shade of green, some more yellow. Their scales changing with the color of the season and the color of the leaves- not true chameleons- but they might as well be. In their human form, most of them have claws instead of hands. Most of them live in houses like your own, or underground hovels, or tree houses that dot the largest of trees they don't seem picky.

- Your neighbors, dragon and otherwise, aren’t all that perplexed or hostile towards your family like you’d initially been worried about. Mostly just curious and a little bit afraid or they pretend like you’re not there. You meet the werewolf pack that lives on the other side of the woods from you- easily your closest neighbors. They’re a rough folk, but the matriarch is kind to you- saying if anything ever happens to just howl and she’ll hear.

- You don’t know if you’ll ever need to do that- but it’s the thought that counts you suppose.

- You decide to spend a month there before Hoseok starts school (something he is definitely not excited about) to really adjust and get the place cleaned up a bit. With the extra month added to your time, you’ll spend a total of 4 months there, avoiding the worst of the winter at your mountain home. The manor house has more than a few repairs, the leaky south corner of the roof that Yoongi repairs- but not without nearly breaking one of his fingers with a hammer.

- You spend the evening letting him pout and act like a big baby, and he’d never admitted it or do it around the others- or even Hoseok and Jungkook who have finally gotten to the age where any affection between you two is decidedly gross, but it’s nice when he gives you a little pout and you tease, “Want me to kiss it better?” no matter if your children groan and hiss saying “don’t be gross mom”

- He waits until later to pin you against the low table in the kitchen, both of your sons already put to bed. “I’ve got something else that hurts” you raise your eyebrows before you pull him close by the collar of his shirt, pressing your lips to his slow, deepening after a moment, “better?” you ask when you pull away breathless. “Nearly- might need you to try again.”

- There are more than a few empty corners in your house, a quiet secluded room where you and Yoongi retreat to, giggling like school children, the wide fireplace in the sitting room with the comfortable Fur rug that feels soft against your bare skin, your bedroom with its balcony, the butcher block table in the kitchen than Yoongi pins you to, getting to his knees to pleasure you like you’re his last meal, anything will do.

- You might ask a favor of Jimin- and have him come to your home to put a few of those noise-canceling spells on your place- just for good measure. Though your sons are busy often enough exploring the woods it’s still nice to not be worried about being overheard. They know not to go too far, and it’s safe here, for both of them.

- As the month continues before Hoseok goes to school there are many repairs that need to be made on your house, little things here and there- Yoongi makes the trip to gather a portion of his hoard to fill the cavern below the house- nothing compared to his hall of jewels back home but still- it’s something. But there is also the matter of the tower and its spire- which leaks into the kitchen area. You have half a mind to turn it into something of a study for you- if you ever had time to work on it when it came to the upkeep of the house.

- You keep it as clean as you can but it’s so large Jungkook and Hoseok help but they’re more interested in playing “knights and dragons” than in cleaning no matter how Yoongi might growl at them. He helps too- does as much as you if not more with how he’s constantly flying here and there, to pick up Hoseok’s books, and his new school uniform, and food for all of you.

- Eventually, the cleaning and upkeep needed to get the house in working order are too much for you. You and Yoongi talk and eventually you agree to hire one of your neighbors, a young werewolf girl (who should be in school) to stop by a few days a week and clean the house. The aforementioned werewolves aren’t nearly as hostile or as concerning as your worst anxieties have made them out to be you’re extraordinarily glad to have the help as Hoseok finally starts school.

- You lament the ease of which you used to clean your old tiny cabin. Though the amenities here are far more comfortable- trust the dragons to figure out an efficient system for Heating water. they also have really nice pillows, but you have a feeling that might be a nesting thing.

-The aforementioned werewolves aren’t nearly as hostile or as concerning as your worst anxieties have made them out to be you’re extraordinarily glad to have the help as Hoseok finally starts school.

- Hoseok’s first day of school looks something like this- the new white robes bunched at his arms and his legs, the new pouch over his side where you’d packed his lunch, the red sigil of the school standing smart over his heart. You’d gotten him ready for school, combing his hair and making sure he had enough lunch.

- He’d been unwilling to part The black scarf that you’d gotten him to match Jungkook’s red one. You fuss with it, turning to Yoongi “You sure his teachers won’t have a problem with it?” yoongi shakes his head. “They were stricter when I was there, the worst they’ll do is make him put it with his things.”

- Hoseok looks worried and anxious and like he might be sick. He holds on tight around your waist when the four of you fly to the dragon city. You’re not the only ones who look like they’re making the trip- other families are traveling to the city at this early hour too. children tagging along on their parent's backs, or flying behind them, their small bodies dipping and jumping with the force of each flap.

- Jungkook is so sleepy but excited as you wave with him and watch Hoseok go through the gates hand in hand with Yoongi- whose only going in to make sure Hoseok gets to the right room. You and Jungkook waiting out front as Yoongi goes in and gets him situated. A few dragons give you weird looks- but most of them are too sleepy to be curious.

- You basically have to hold Jungkook back from wanting to follow. And the farther away he gets, the more Jungkook’s smile falls until he’s unusually quiet. “You okay Koo?” you ask, and he nods, his curls bobbing, hand rubbing at his eye. “I’m hungry- can we get some breakfast before we fly back?” Jungkook is unusually quiet the whole morning and by midday, you're starting to get worried.

- He gets better the second you return to pick Hoseok back up from school his face lighting up when you spot a redhead in the schoolyard, both of them running forward to collide with him, holding closely around his waist, and tucking his face close under his shoulder. Hoseok too- scent marks rapidly along Jungkook’s shoulder. Obviously having missed him too.

- He looks much less anxious than he did before, even waving goodbye to one girl with bright blue wings and a boy whose tongue flicks out, split down the middle. Hoseok crashes into your legs scent marking you before he can even speak. Jungkook behind him still hanging on. Unwilling to let him go again now that he’s back. “Did you have a good first day of school? I want to hear all about it Hobi!”

- “It wasn’t as bad as I thought- but I missed you guys the whole day” Jungkook looks almost pouty, “good” later that night you treat both of them to sweet rolls (you may have shown up a little early to go to a food market before picking Hoseok up from school- for a special treat) you and Yoongi overhear them playing in front of the fire. “I was lonely the whole day Hobi- You’re going to find better friends and leave me” “Of course I won’t Kookie- you’re my family”

- It’s a good thing that every 6th-day Hoseok has a day off from school- It’s your savior actually- on those days that Hoseok and Jungkook can explore the surrounding area of your new home as much as they want to. It lets Jungkook get his zoomies out, his need for adventure contained into one day as Hoseok is often too tired for much when he gets home from school.

- He does have enough energy usually to show Jungkook what he learned. gathering in the field in front of your house, you and yoongi watching from the stone steps. He’s learned how to glide better recently- the way his wing sits into the wind different than before. It has Yoongi smiling showing his gums excitedly- apparently, Hoseok is only a few weeks away from learning true flight.

- The day he does finally fly- the four of you meet up with Jimin and Namjoon- who have heard the good news from Hoseok’s teacher. Their gift is opulent, you try to refuse- tell them its too much, but Namjoon just touches your arm “please- it’s the uncle's job to spoil their nephews.”

- They take the four of you out for a well-known sweets house on the fancier side of the city. The kind that the fancy lords and ladies take their children too for mid-morning tea. You borrow one of Jimin’s fancier dresses for the occasion a gauzy thing that's a little too risque for your tastes- but is in style.

- Jimin has to fight with you to get you to wear it “I swear if you don’t start acting as pretty as you are I’m going to take it for myself” you'd jolted, looking at her face through the mirror, “can you really do that?” you know Jimin is powerful, can use magic in a way that only sorcerers can, but even that seems a little excessive. She puts her hands on her hips, “are you sure you want to find out the answer to that question?”

- But in the end, you’re glad you did. Yoongi can’t take his eyes off of you the whole night. You get more than a few stares at the establishment- though more due to the nature of your mixed party. It’s not often they serve a fairy, a well-known war hero, and two humans. but they never let their shock show- especially in front of a councilman.

- The staff is nice enough- They bring Jimin a Stool so that his wings won’t get crushed against the back of the chair, his dress low and backless. You’d tried to convince your boys to both go without their mismatching scarves- but they’d been insistent, even if the edge of Jungkook’s is getting a little ragged with age.

- Both of them gorge themselves on sweets and savory cakes the whole evening. Jungkook is almost unmovable by the end of the evening, both their cheeks sticky- how the hell Hoseok got syrup in his hair- you have no idea. if being messy was a field you could be accomplished in- your sons would already be experts.

- but as the school year continues, and Jungkook gets used to Hoseok being gone all day he becomes forlorn. Following Yoongi around or following you around and helping as he can with you trying to get the house together. You and Yoongi are still trying to get the tower in working order. Jimin is coming by later- to help install some windows and the glass pains already sit out in front of your house.

- Without his companion- Jungkook just doesn’t know what to do with him. Sitting and pouting no matter what you try to do. “I want to go to dragon school too” “there is a school in town you could go to if you wanted to” “No! I want to go to Hobi’s school!”

- “Jungkook” Yoongi cautions and it’s not like he exactly rules them with an iron fist but you do have one rule: listen to your mother. And Jungkook isn’t doing a good job of that right now. He ends up huffing and walking away- disappearing to who knows where.

- Later he comes back and apologizes to you for raising his voice. And it’s quite well thought out an apology for an 8-year-old you do have to admit. He brings you a clutch of dandelions he must have picked from somewhere nearby. Later you catch Yoongi congratulating him and you think maybe he’d had a talk with him.

- Dandelions- it reminds both you and Yoongi of the first time you ever saw each other- or at least- the first time you met face to face. Jungkook- a baby, sat in a wildflower field with you- so many years ago now. You keep the dandelions by your bedside the same vase stuffed through with red feathers from Hoseok’s molting. He likes to keep them to give them to you- the longer ones that are almost the length of your forearm.

- Yoongi putting one behind his ear to make you laugh. Though he still leaves to raid every now and then- he spends as much time as he can at home. Sometimes- he gets called upon by Namjoon- and leaves with Hoseok in the morning only to return with your son later in the day. Honestly- Yoongi would tell the council to fuck off if it wasn’t Namjoon asking. But wherever he goes- he sees dandelions and thinks of home.

- You don’t mind much- even if you, like Jungkook- get lonely. You repair your house with some sort of zeal- painting the room’s different colors, fixing things here and there. It’s been a while since you really had a place to make your own. You flourish a little excitedly setting your house in order.

- But then Yoongi comes upon your old medical things in the belly of the spire one morning, turning over the few old medical texts and the herbs that Namjoon had set you up with. Here there are a few dried herbs, from namjoon’s garden and from the woods- well-known ones that even he recognizes.

- he hovers on that disconcerting feeling again, the same one he’d had in Namjoon’s greenhouse more than two months ago. but before he can ask- you slide away again asking him something else- and he can’t bring it in himself to bring it up. And before anything can really get better or get worse- Hoseok’s school year-ends. And so does the extraordinarily mild winter. And the four of you head back to your mountain home and whatever unhappiness you feel seems to dissipate once you have both of them to look after all the time again.

- It’s probably fate that he’s in town that morning, it’s only been two weeks since you got back into town for the next winter session. Hoseok is a little more interested in it this time around, growing less shy as a 12-year-old. A little excited to see the few friends he made last year- and get reacquainted with his flying teacher. Jungkook, by comparison, is even more twitchy and restless this year. Now 9 years old (neither of you can quite believe it).

- It’s a small errand- but he’s honestly just picking up some bread for dinner from the baker when he hears the shout. And sees the crowd of people hovering around a young werewolf behind a wagon, His arm to the side, bent at a weird angle, the bone popped through the skin.

- The mother spots Yoongi- and internally he cringes. He knows you’d created something of a buzz when you moved into the manor house- and the people here know he was a commander at one point and used to serve the people. Her hand is clawed and furry when she places it on his arm “can you take him to the city? We don’t have a healer here-”

- “No, but my mate used to be a healer- she can help him, come with me” everyone knows who you are- that you’re his human. Though there are a few mutterings about that. Yoongi ignores them and so does the mother- desperate to help her pup who hasn’t stopped howling in pain the whole time. his cries echoing loudly probably making the hair of every wolf in a mile radius stand up on end.

- Two of the wolves’ older brothers heave the little one up between the two of them- and he howls out in pain the ears on top of his head flicking in pain when they move his arm. The mother and what feels like half the town follows Yoongi down the trail- a half-mile from your home.

- you’re just clearing out some of the old books in the library Hoseok and Jungkook helping you. All of you are covered in dust- a silk blue handkerchief tied over your mouth. “Uhm- mom?” Jungkook tugs at your sleeve, looking out the winds to where you can see the crowd of people, worried for a moment before you see Yoongi at the front.

- The three of you rush to meet them out ion the front steps. Yoongi hops up the steps two at a time he puts a hand on your arm. “There was an accident in town- I thought you might be able too-“ the wolf boy behind you lets out a howl and you turn- the change is almost instant, your attention diverted from Yoongi to the patient that needs your care.

- The way that Yoongi see’s your brain starts moving, working as you come close, tugging up the covering over your mouth and behind your ears to keep back your hair. The mother launches into what happened- and also bursts into tears. “This way- the dining room table should be wide enough.” The rest of the town seems to hover outside as you and the family head inside. Hoseok shifts and curls up around Jungkook in the hallways outside, Yoongi trying to field some of the questions of the town as best he can without losing control of his temper.

- “How long was she a healer- can she really be trusted?” Yoongi lets out a growl at that one- “she healed Hobi’s wing!” Jungkook pipes up. Hoseok gives a little flutter- flapping them to show that they’re alright. One of the younger shifted wolf pups comes close, so much smaller than Hoseok- the dragon back-peddling wildly. Jungkook curious- upset that the wolf pup isn’t as curious about him as he is about the dragon.

- The town has dispersed within the hour, and Yoongi manages to keep Jungkook and Hoseok away from the kitchen for long enough. A muted scream punctuated by some sobbing. You must have managed to crack his arm back then. When they finally leave it's with the youth still held by his older brother. This time in a piggyback. His arm back into place and braced with two of the wooden spoons from your kitchen. The mother thanking you profusely, again and again, clutching your hands.

- When they finally leave you to hover by the door watching them go winding the silk scarf over your hands, again and again, your hair spilling out unbound. “darling?” Yoongi asks. You turn to him, lower lip quivering before you lean forward, taking his face in either of your hands pressing kiss after kiss to his cheeks to his brow, peppering his face with countless kisses, Yoongi can’t help but smile.

- “How do you always know what I need? What I want? I didn’t want to say but-” yoongi understands, understood the second he saw the injured pup. the thing that you’d been sad over was this. “I know honey- I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what you were missing.”

-“You mean-“ you break off, looking down as Yoongi cups your cheeks, “you don’t mind?” he presses his forehead against yours, making sure you look at him, see every inch of his eyes and the truth held there, “Darling listen to me: I promise I won’t ever mind something that makes you happy.”

- He smiles and pulls you against him around your waist, tugging on the loose ends of your hair. Your kisses taste of smiles and of a giddy kind of joy he hasn’t seen in you in a long time. Who knew all you needed were a few broken bones to make you happier.

- You forgot how much you loved this- helping people.

- You’re happy- how could you not be? Especially when more and more of the town start coming to you with injuries of their own accord, not willing to make the flight into the city- or in other cases unable too. It’s the exact opposite of how it was in your old village.

- you make it clear that you won’t take their payment for your services (Yoongi takes care of you so well you want for very little). But they’re insistent and always come back the next day or later. bringing the freshest of food or a bushel of fresh peaches in thanks. The orchards around here are plentiful- even in the winter- there are always sweet things here and there.

- When you go into town, fewer people stare, fewer people shoot you uncomfortable looks, and more greet you by name. Older dragons with holes in their wings coming out of their houses to see if you have any more of that ache relieving cream- a little dragon girl holding up her finger to you saying “I got a booboo” you giggle- her mother ushering her away and apologizing for taking up your ‘invaluable’ time.

- But really you don’t- it’s been a while since Jungkook was that small- you miss it. The other children, both dragon and wolf alike run up to you when you’re in town- usually- they’d retreat if Jungkook was there. But now they call his name too- asking if he’d like to play in the square while you tend to your errands.

- There are a few here still, that lock your doors when you come into town. that hold their children close when you and Jungkook walk by. Yoongi assures you that anti-human sentiment isn’t strong enough here as it is the closer you get to the south. But still- the wounds of war linger in every lingering look.

- Suddenly the stakes have changed, now- It’s harder to leave, not that you don’t still want to go back to your mountain home. But with a new town to take care of- people depending on you to be there for them. It’s hard to constrain your stay to only the time when Hobi has school.

- And Yoongi might dislike the countryside a little more than he does the mountains, but at the end of the day- if it keeps a smile on your face- then it’s nothing he won’t absolutely inflict upon himself- with gusto- as many months out of the year as long as it keeps you happy.

- You decide to split the year. You spend the milder- and less balmy fall and winter months at your manor house, and the spring and summer months in the mountains. Jungkook is glad to spend a little more time in the village where things are a little more entertaining and interesting to explore- even if that does mean surrendering his favorite person half of the time.

- You get to see namjoon and Jimin more often too- something your son’s love. they love spending sleepovers at Namjoon and Jimin's house- after evenings where it’s gotten too late to fly home. it’s sweet- the first time namjoon hovers near you awkwardly. both of your sons have already done the peculiar forehead touch- symbolic of dragon familial ties.

- One moment you’re just talking and the next, namjoon ducks quickly to press his forehead against your shoulder, chickening out at the last moment. “You’re so awkward joonie” Jimin chides, both him and yoongi laughing at Namjoon’s bright red horns. but you don’t mind at all- you’re glad that Namjoon and Jimin see you as a family- and feel comfortable enough to accept you into their little cadre.

- Hoseok suffers through more schooling with Jungkook in mind, the younger always picking his brain whenever he comes home. And really he doesn’t mind it much. He likes the city even, likes the little freedom that he has when his teacher cuts him some slack during lunch and he can go get a sweet pork bun from the stall outside his school, eat it on the parapet looking over the training grounds.

- The other dragons there have always been a little wary of him- he always smells a little bit too much like a human. But there isn’t much opportunity for free time and making friends with the other students, he isn’t good at it- too quiet and shy to make any close friends.

- It hurts him a little- that he dosent fit in, something about him that just isn’t dragon enough for his classmates. But Hoseok has people he wants to be with at home- who understand him- where he doesn’t feel strange and like he’s caught in the middle.

- besides, all of the dragons here his own age never seem to like Jungkook much when they meet him when Jungkook finds Hoseok in the crowd hissing at him and growling. Hoseok has decided long ago- that anyone who dislikes Jungkook on the basis that he’s human isn’t someone Hoseok wants to be friends with.

- It gets worse when they approach the more historical part of their schooling. their teacher announces they’ll have a history lesson on the human dragon war. And Hoseok wants to sink so far down in his seat when his teacher starts talking about the humans. The humans that live on the other side of the wall- bloodthirsty and hungry for food. Who doesn’t know enough about their land to take care of it- who depletes the soil and then search for more land to ruin- selfishly destroying the earth.

- He wants to stand up to defend you and Jungkook- you’re definitely not selfish, definitely not untrustworthy like his teacher is saying. He tries to speak up at one point- face as red as his hair, but one of the older students in his section- turns around and growls at him. Later- he volunteers the information that his grandfather died in the last war, and Hoseok understands- he must not like the fact that Hoseok smells like a human. Has obviously been scent marking one in the last 24 hours.

- The discomfort- the feeling like he’s an outsider- creeps up on him, Hoseok feels uncomfortable and unwelcome and like he wants to leave but can’t bring himself too.

- A little bit of a Reprieve comes from he next section they cover, a list of important generals during the war- Yoongi’s name at the very top of the page in the textbook, a small blurb on his accomplishments. his teacher reads it off “There are very few of the Tahsuya breed left in the world as a result of the war- known for their dark scales and their massive size, this kind of dragon is the reason why dragon kind was able to win against old king henry and his army of enchanted warriors.”

- Hoseok sees the picture on the page, the wings that seem to blackout the sky, human warriors with all-black eyes raising their shields against the fire- running screaming. He raises his hand, then takes it back. The teacher catches it though- and Hoseok will not remain unscathed.

- “I thought you would know all about the war Hoseok, seeing as General Min is your guardian” every single student in the room turns to start at Hoseok- and all he wants to do is sink into the floor. Suddenly everyone’s asking him questions- “is he really that big?” “Is it true he ate the last king?”

- “Why do you always smell like a human if your father killed so many of them?” Hoseok is overwhelmed. Wants to turn away and run, because he doesn’t know- doesn’t understand where all of this hatred comes from. A few of his classmates are sniffing the air in disgust.

- Hoseok himself is soul bonded to a human and they’re nothing like everyone is saying- when he thinks about anyone eating you and Jungkook it just makes him feel like he wants to hide and hold you close forever- not joy like one of his classmates is saying- how good it must have felt to defeat the armies. To kill.

- Hoseok feels like he’s going to be sick- the only thing he manages to say, “he’s not my fathe-“ but he can’t even manage to say that- because it’s not really true. He might not call you and Yoongi mom and dad yet- but- you’ve looked after him for 7 years at this point. You have protected him and held him through his nightmares, took care of him after his first parents died. And though He never wants to forget his mama omega and alpha dad, but…

- But You and Yoongi- if anything like that happened to either of you- Hoseok doesn’t know what he would do. It would feel the same as losing his first parents. Only he wouldn’t have you both to hold him through it- to make sure his pains were eased, that he was cared for when he needed it the most. His classmates don’t know what they’re talking about, they don’t understand.

- He doesn't want to forget his parents, but he’d already made the mistake of not appreciating what he had before it was gone. (If you were able to hear his thoughts- you’d tell him to cut himself a break- he was only six after all)

- When Hoseok was younger- his mother and his older sister would groom him, their tongue dragging through his feathers. And now you do the same- albeit in a different way, any night that Hoseok asks- you’ll smile and pat your lap and brush him through, no matter how big he gets- no matter that he’s not a fledgling anymore.

- Whenever he craves comfort you give it to him. It feels the same when it thinks of his mother, and when he thinks of you- it’s the same. Hoseok shoots up, his chair falling back, stumbling as he rushes out of the room- only stopping to take his scarf from the hook. Furious tears budding at his eyes as he runs despite the fact that he can hear his teacher shouting after him.

- It’s uncle Namjoon that finds him- having been called to the school for some reason or another- he’d probably found out from one of his teachers that Hoseok had been AWOL. It’s not every day that someone on the dragon council takes a special interest in a student. (Namjoon may have gone to the teacher personally and asked to be updated at the beginning of the school year- but really- it’s only the concern of an uncle and not of the council that drives him to do this).

- Namjoon finds him sitting on one of the towers, the door opening behind him. “I figured you would have found the tallest place,” he says as he comes over to sit by Hoseok, his blue councilman’s robes rustling in the wind. Hoseok keeps his scarf tight and up around his nose, the sent of his family slowly soothing him and his panic.

- “Did Yoongi really do all of the things in my teacher said he did? Is that why everyone knows his name?” he asks, has to struggle not to call him dad. “He did, but you have to understand Hobi- the king back then was the one who killed his whole family.” That kind of grief- Hoseok understands. And he thinks now- if anyone hurt Jungkook he would more than rip them limb from limb, he would burn them to dust.

- Namjoon ends up taking him home early that day, Jimin joining them- the tiny fairy buzzing by Hoseok who only tries to keep up, needing to pause to rest halfway through the flight and have Namjoon carry him the rest of the way. Yoongi is surprised when both of them turn up but not for long, all he has to see is Hoseok’s bloodshot eyes before he’s dropping it.

- Before he knows it- you’re there pulling him in for a hug. Hoseok has grown so much, he’s nearly as tall as you now Doesn't have to get up on his tippy toes to press his forehead to your neck and scent mark you. “oh Seokie” you say, as he starts to cry again. Yoongi behind him with a hand on his shoulder. He and Namjoon make eye contact- Namjoon shaking his head, Jimin looking small next to him- equally as concerned.

- And it’s good to have them both over for dinner. Eating dinner and Making Hoseok laugh with a round of games. His aching heart soothed by good food, bread from town, meat that you cook over the fire and eat all together with chopsticks. Jungkook knocking into his elbow telling Hoseok animatedly about the new forms his master had shown him.

- later the four of you wait up late into the night, enjoying a glass of sweet wine together, you’re concerned by what Namjoon tells you- and it’s not like you hadn’t suspected it would one day have this effect on Hobi. Yoongi told you long ago the role he’d had in the war. But it seemed like it bothered Hoseok in some way. You hadn’t missed tonight how he’s seemed attached to your hip, scooting closer to Jungkook at the dinner table.

- “I think it just scared him, hearing about how many people died- though he said something about his classmates” you shake your head, leaning your cheek on your hand, knees brought up close to your chest. Across from you, Namjoon sits with Jimin’s feet in his lap. You recline against Yoongi’s chest your front warmed by the fire but your back warmed by him. Playing with his long fingers absentmindedly. “We should ask him tomorrow,” Yoongi hums, looking concerned.

- Jimin and Namjoon leave soon after that, you tease jimin about how dangerous ‘sleepy flying’ can be. “Uhm, actually- can I talk to you for a moment yoon?” Namjoon asks, Yoongi touches your shoulder and tells you to go to bed, he’ll be there in a moment. Jimin is standing out in the middle of the field, and from the open door, Namjoon and Yoongi watch them. Jimin’s face turned up to the moon, eyes closed like they’re a flower in the sunlight recharging their energy. And Yoongi knows that by tomorrow morning, a ring of toadstools will ring the spot where Jimin now stands.

- “Spit it out” The younger dragon looks nervous and anxious, “in the last few weeks- we’ve gotten reports of discontent in the human realms” “is it another famine again?” “No- quite the opposite- but apparently they’ve had a few good years, and the current king is wonder if he should strike while the iron his hot.” Yoongi stiffens, thinking about the possibility of another war.

- Long ago- when they used to fight side by side before Yoongi would often level Namjoon with one question, “odds?” he’d ask. And Namjoon would answer what he thought the likelihood of them surviving the next hours would be.

- “The council dosent want to believe it, but I put the odds of war at 50/50,″ “How long?” that’s all Yoongi wants to know- how long until he has to take you, Jungkook, and Hoseok and run with you to the farthest edge of the world- because he won’t have his family caught up in another war- he won’t lose them. No matter how the council will try and talk him into commanding their armies again.

- “Probably a few years until we know- but the snow isn’t falling as hard as usual in the mountains, the passes are staying open for longer, we expect an increase in attacks at the very least.” More hunters getting through the mountains means more calls from the council for- and less time with his family.

- That night, when Yoongi crawls into bed next to you- you curl into his warmth seeking his familiar form out in your sleep and settling your body more fully against him. He makes a noise in the back of his throat but You don’t respond- you must really be asleep. That night- Yoongi holds you and doesn’t sleep a wink.

- After the incident, Namjoon stops by and watches Hoseok more and more- keeping an eye on the goings-on at the school. And all the rest of his classmates will stand- their backs straight as rapiers while Namjoon patrols the lines. Nodding officially to his teacher, shooting Hoseok a look that has him giggling and being scolded by the teacher's assistant.

- Namjoon’s check-ins might have something to do with Yoongi asking the older dragon to keep an eye on Hoseok when he’s in the city after the incident. And Namjoon takes his role as uncle very seriously. Jimin even more so- always making sure that Namjoon comes with extra lunch- some sweet fruit or fancy fish from the ocean for Hoseok. A little spare baggy left to bring home for you and Jungkook.

- “What about da-Yoongi” Hoseok catches himself at the last moment one afternoon- talking with Namjoon. Namjoon’s smile is a little abashed, “Jimin has some very choice words for him- apparently something about accidentally burning a hole through his favorite robe again.”

- Jimin and Namjoon are always glad to have you come for a visit, day trips close to the city so you can pick up Hoseok, he and Yoongi coming back to Namjoon and Jimin's house instead of your own for dinner. You and Jimin take day trips into the city when Yoongi is called in on some council business with Namjoon, Jungkook tagging along when he wants too.

- They’re always upset to see you go when you have to return to the mountains in the summer months (if you didn’t- Yoongi thinks he might actually go insane) But you become friends, a little closer than that even. You know they view Jungkook and Hoseok as their own children- or something as close to that as they’ll ever be able to have.

- It’s shortly after the summer solstice the next year when Jungkook finally managed to articulate the words that have been bothering him- for longer than he’d been willing to admit. You’re sat at the lip of the cave together reading. Yoongi and Hoseok dive-bombing each other and play flying- trying to keep their skills honed in preparation for the looming school year.

- Hoseok has grown bigger in the last year or so and hit his second growth spurt. His head now coming up to your stomach (which he abuses, constantly nudging into your stomach for more food- you swear- with the amount they eat between the three of them- you and Yoongi have the work cut out for yourselves.)

- He’s finally mastered flying- maybe not all of the more complicated maneuvers, and he can’t yet fly for more than 45 minutes before his stamina runs out- but he’s getting there. Every day he pushes himself farther gets a little stronger. This next year- it’s likely that he won't need Yoongi to fly him too and from the dragon school anymore. (Though he still will- just a safe distance above- he just wants to keep an eye on his son)

- Jungkook looks melancholic and conflicted, now almost 11 years old and sitting next to you- fingering one of the books that Jimin had given him on their last trip. One about an adventurer that had crossed the ocean and discovered a whole new species of sea serpent- he’s read it probably about a dozen times since you came back to the mountain for spring and summer. “I can’t help but feel like- like Hobi is leaving me behind,”

- “He’s not Kookie- he could never leave you, you’re his best friend- and I know you read all of his school books to help him study for his tests.” “Yeah but still- he gets to go to school to learn how to be a dragon, what am I learning? who am I learning to be?” your boy has always been sensitive and emotional and you realize now more than ever, how much he’s grown. “You know we’re just- trying to make sure he’s getting exposed to everything he would have with his other family. And they’re the pressure from the council”

- “I remember,” Jungkook looks thoughtful, sucking on his lower lip, wanting to ask but being unable too- because- because he knows how Yoongi has been about this in the past. He remembers how his father had snarled at the council- my child will never learn how to fight.

- But what if that’s exactly what Jungkook wants? “I want to learn how to be a swordsman, like in the books-“ your gaze slides a little, you raise your eyebrow and he can tell just by your look that you’re not going for it- it’s the same one you’d given him countless times- each time he and Hoseok had tried to convince you to let them camp out with the wolves on the full moon- or assured you that really- riding the giant forest spirits wasn’t nearly as dangerous as dad said it could be. - Jungkook is indignant, however- “if Hoseok gets to learn how to fight- then I should too! He might not always be there.” you put your hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. Despite how much you shudder to think of either of your sons need to know how to fight you understand. And you have to admit; even you might feel more comfortable if Jungkook did at least learn the basics.

- “No” the finality of Yoongi’s words rings in the chamber when you ask. You’re glad that Hoseok and Jungkook are off lounging in the afternoon sun outside so that they don’t have to see the way their father instantly starts shooting smoke from his nose. “I won’t allow him that- you know what this means to me. It’s too dangerous- and why would he need to? We’re safe!” I made the world safe.

- Yoongi has had a lot of time to think about the war, about how after his parents had died- he’d pursued it for the sake of revenge- or so he’d thought. but now he thinks that maybe he’d known that one day he would want the world to be safe for a particular reason. And now he has that reason: his family- which would always be torn between these two worlds and any war that might come.

- He’s pacing, unable to stop his hands from shaking- memories of carnage and war coming to the forefront of his mind- what’s more- the memories of the night where Yoongi had burned down Jungkook’s village. The men rushing forward with their swords- only to die by fire- his fire, and then the idea of that position being reversed Jungkook fighting others- getting hurt. Makes Yoongi’s hands shake.

- “do you really think it’s such a bad idea, or are you just worried that he’ll turn into what you took him from?” Yoongi flinches, it’s not usual that you surprise him- or that your arguments get so heated. But you don’t talk about the beginning of you- what brought Jungkook into your care very often- and you know how guilty Yoongi feels. How much it weighs on his shoulders like a lead weight. But you’re right- he is afraid. The words aren’t meant to be cruel even if they do sting.

- He remembers raising Jungkook- both of you do- how instantaneously he’d become a protector, of your old chickens in the coop, of Hoseok when he’d come to stay. He’s always been making play swords out of sticks and asking Yoongi to please read that one night story again- the one where a knight defeats the scary mountain troll- that’s always been Jungkook’s favorite.

- You touch Yoongi’s cheeks, “when do you think we should tell him?” you’d always left this up to him. Deciding when exactly to tell Jungkook where he came from. Luckily that’s not a question he asks very frequently but it’s only a matter of time until he asks again. And each time it gets harder to dodge and avoid giving him a real answer.

- Both of you are scared- so scared- for both Hoseok and Jungkook. How will Jungkook react when he finds out that Yoongi is the one that killed his family? What will happen to Hoseok when he finds out that his best friend came from a family of dragon hunters? The same kind that killed Hoseok’s parents?

- The wounds of his loss are still there but healing with your love and support. He no longer wakes up so many nights from nightmares. And even if he does Yoongi is there for him, all of you are. More than once you’ve woken to Hoseok curled up around you. And though while he’s never called you ‘mom’ before, you know he loves you and cares about you as much as Jungkook does.

- Even if he suddenly decided he didn’t want much to do with you- probably a poor replacement for the mother he lost (if Yoongi ever heard you say these words out loud he would probably growl at you for thinking so), you’d accept it- and love him still.

- Not that that kind of thing has ever been in Hoseok’s nature. He’s turned into quite the little sunshine the last few years. Bolder, and curious about the world in the same way Jungkook is, always ready to laugh and be silly to amuse the younger. When he wakes in the morning he follows Yoongi’s lead, bringing a cloth up and over his curling golden horns, burnishing them to polish- the same way you might expect someone to learn how to shave from watching their father.

- He even has a few feathers that have started to appear on his human form- a mark of his growing age. They poke out of his hair- long and leggy. He never fails to slap Jungkook’s hand away when they younger reach over to try and play with them. “Koo that feels weird-“ “Sorry they’re just so soft.” He never gets too angry- even when Jungkook absentmindedly starts playing with them again a few moments later.

- One day- you catch them fiddling with one of the many feathers that Hoseok loses (it’s natural- he looses a few every time he shifts) and both of them had come to you- happy- Jungkook showing you the Tiny feather they’d managed to fasten to his hair on the back of his neck. The bright red feather sticking out harshly among the black. The 11-year-old had been so so happy- even if getting it out had been hell later.

- You don’t think their bond could be damaged by anything- but still- you’re worried what kind of friction it could cause- if the information wasn’t revealed at the right moment.

- “This year? Maybe next year? Who knows- when he’s ready” you roll your eyes a little at this- and Yoongi knows- can hear your words before you say them “that’s such a nebulous thing to say- try again love.”

- “Can we talk about the learning to fight thing another time?” Yoongi says against the palm of your hand, tugging you in close. Peppering kisses across your palm. The scent of disquiet clings to you- makes him anxious- makes him want it off of you. And maybe it’s stupid to ignore this problem. When it could very easily rear its ugly head.

- Maybe Yoongi is just scared of losing you- scared of losing this. He finds himself a little too choked up when he pulls you to lie against him your back against his chest. Your fingers hooking around the back of his neck to run your fingers through his hair while you look up at him. And his hand is free to run up and down your stomach and sides. Simple and lovely in the light of golden hour, the birds chirping, the muted laughter and shouts of your sons outside. Absolutely peaceful were it not for the rolling worry in both of your heads.

- When you return back to the countryside for the next season, Yoongi surprises Jungkook with his first sword. It was easy to get it made during one of the many trips Yoongi had taken with you into the city- mostly to meet with Hoseok’s teachers. Jungkook dropped off at Jimin’s library yet again- his uncle happy to see him and watch him for the day after so many months apart.

- Jungkook’s eyes are wide his smile incandescent when Yoongi hands him the thin hand and a half blade. it’s no larger than Yoongi’s forearm, but still- Jungkook’s narrow arms struggle to hold it up. “This is a practice blade, I’ll get you a sharp one after you learn the basics.”

-When it comes down to it- Yoongi is of little help when it comes to teaching Jungkook how to fight- it’s not that he can’t it’s just that he’s only ever fought in his full-bodied scaled form. And Jungkook while- he can’t shift, Though he’s no longer quite as put out as he once had been. finally, come to terms with the fact that- yes- his wings are never going to come in. Now to soothe that hurt- he just learns as much as he can about magical creatures.

- It never fails to amaze you how easily he talks to the other people in town, the werewolves, and the rough dragon folk- grown almost fond over him in the past few years you’ve been popping in and out of their lives. one day when you’re tidying up- you come across a little booklet- little notes scrawled here and there about dragons and other magical creatures things Jungkook wants to remember.

- It's in the town that Yoongi finds him a teacher- an old werewolf by the name of Jagged claw (werewolf customs- Yoongi rolls his eyes at the strange name) one of the last students who ever attended the military school in the city before it was closed to outsiders and turned into the flight school. He’s old and hobbles about on a roughly worn staff, teaches Jungkook and two other dragon hatchlings the way of the sword four mornings out of five.

- There is also a condition to Jungkook’s schooling, for every lesson he attends with his instructor; he’s going to have to spend a day with you- learning the healing arts instead. It seems a fair trade- both of you decide. Though he already knows a fair amount. Jungkook looks a little frustrated but you hold up your hand to stop his words, Your expression is uncompromising. “If you’re going to learn how to hurt others- and only when you need it- then you need to learn how to heal them too.”

- Every morning you and Yoongi see both of them off Hoseok shifting and taking off to fly most of the way with Yoongi- and you and Jungkook left to walk through the woods in the direction of the wolf’s cabin. An apple and some other yummy treat wrapped in his scarf for lunch. His sword strapped to his narrow waist.

- on your walk through the forest, you’ll take the time to quiz him on the medicinal plants there. “That one is- nic- octos- ugh!” he’s frustrated, glaring down the blue-purple bloom like it will surrender all of its secrets easily.

- “It begins with an A” you remind him as he investigates the flowers their leaves too. “Aconitum!” he shouts when he gets it, turning to look for your approval. You side-eye him for his early success- but he’s only half what there, “uses?” you prod, “fever reducer-”

- “But-“ you tilt your head expectantly. “Basically everything is a fever reducer- and this one can be dangerous so- only use it as a last resort” “you’ve got it-“ you finally give in, ruffling his curly hair affectionately- taking care to step over a gnarled root. Jungkook almost trips- too busy looking around for other plants in the underbrush.

- But before long- the swordmasters cabin comes into view. The old wolf standing on his porch looking about ready to smack Jungkook for being late. His other students are already running forms in the cleared fighting circle out front. You smile at him in greeting as Jungkook rushes to take his place, bowing and apologizing. You ask if his joints are holding up and he nods sagely.

- When you return home Yoongi is already waiting for you. Both of you ready for a little privacy, maybe you’ll be interrupted by someone in the town needing your help. But if it’s a calm day- you’ll make each other lunch knocking elbows. and maybe you’ll sit out in the grass with it later, Yoongi’s head in your lap.

- Maybe you’ll decide to split a sweet orange from the orchard a few miles over, Yoongi will peel it and give you most of it while he only takes a piece. And your kisses will be sweet and sticky and even sweeter still when he asks if you’ll sing for him.

- Maybe you’ll fall asleep and be woken in the afternoon by Hoseok touching down softly next to you- shifting and collapsing into the grass on the blanket you and Yoongi have set out. “God today was exhausting- they had us running stamina tests all afternoon” “how long did you fly for?”

- “3 hours and 45 minutes-“ his grin is already proud. “The longest in the class.” Yoongi’s grin is happy too, as you congratulate him and pull him close, Hoseok scent marking along either of your shoulders- he’s always a little more cuddly than usual when he gets home. You’ve asked him before and he says he doesn’t like not smelling like you guys.

- Hoseok offers to make the short walk to pick up Kookie and a few minutes later- both of your sons come through the woods, laughing and slapping each other on the back. A new bandage on his arm- “I promise he didn’t mean it- I was the one who fell during practice, it wasn’t master’s fault.”

- “Really you need to be more careful,” you say, angrily bandaging his arm later while Hoseok and Yoongi recline in front of the fire playing a game of cards. “I’m going to get more than one scar you know, and besides I already have one on my face so what does it matter?”

-You freeze; Yoongi goes ramrod straight- the fire in the hearth spluttering before it roars back to life. And you exchange a glance. It’s barely quick enough for either of them to catch. And you launch into an explanation of why he should care enough to be careful because it will quite literally give his mother a heart attack if he comes back with another cut like this.

- You and Yoongi think you’ve been quick enough to conceal your surprise. Both of you thinking about the scar on Jungkook’s cheek- the one he’d gotten the night Yoongi had attacked his Family. The night that had cascaded and affected both of your lives forever. But Without that night and without that bloodshed none of the joy and love you have would exist.

- But Jungkook doesn’t know that. Not yet away. That next day, Jungkook touches the mark trying to remember when he got it but he can’t, doesn’t know where the scar that marks his face came from.

- Hoseok finds him pouring over his reflection in the mirror. “Something bothering you Koo?” Jungkook fingers the scar again, Maybe he should ask you- he didn’t know if memories could disappear out of the blue- but he’s only 12, Maybe you know.

- He remembers how he got the scar on his palm; from sliding down Yoongi’s wings and missing the pillow pile in your winter home, and the one on his elbow- accidentally tripping over Hoseok’s tail the one time at uncle Namjoon’s house. But the mark on his face bothers him for some reason- lingers in the back of his mind.

-“It’s Nothing,” he says, but at this point, he’s sure it’s something. Hoseok can feel the lie when it leaves Jungkook’s mouth- but like most things with the soul bond, he just leaves it. He’ll find out sooner or later what’s bothering him when Jungkook inevitably gets fed up with keeping secrets, if he’s not ready then he’s not ready.

- Over the last few years- they’ve developed a delicate balance, their souls might be intertwined together closely but there is a place where Hoseok begins and Jungkook ends. An understood barrier that needs to exist or else they’d both probably fight a lot more than they do.

- After all- Jungkook isn’t the only one who doesn’t always tell Hoseok what’s going on in his head. Hoseok has more than a few things that he just…doesn’t feel like he can voice out loud yet. Part of him is afraid, what if he’s misinterpreted this feeling? what if it’s temporary? he tells himself to wait it out- to wait until he’s sure (even though he knows he already is).

- Sometimes Hoseok thinks about uncle Jimin- who is often more than not aunt Jimin. How when he’s feeling like more of a she- her hair gets a little longer, cute and shoulder length, her hips more curvy than usual. About how Namjoon loves Jimin- no matter what skin they want to inhabit that day.

- Hoseok wonders what he would look like with hair like that, if he’d look pretty. “I’ve been thinking about growing out my hair- what do you think?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the mirror- not meeting Jungkook’s gaze. “I think it would be fine? why wouldn’t it be? My hair gets long some time too the trouble will be when mom tries to convince you to cut it short?” he says, confused like he’s wondering why Hoseok is asking- why Hoseok doesn’t know this.

- Anything that Hoseok does Jungkook will be on board with and will support 100%. Hoseok knows this- because the same is true in reverse. “It’s nothing- forget I said anything.” Both of them look in the mirror- seeing something missing, but not knowing quite what.

- Hoseok resolves to ask Jimin a few more pointed questions the next time they visit, maybe corner them on the beach or in the greenhouse. Trying to ignore the weird stinging rotten feeling in his chest when he looks in the mirror and sees himself.

- Jungkook forgets about it too wrapped up in his training forms. Trying to recognize the new ones because he knows master jagged fang will quiz him. But the confusion- the wanting curiosity- lingers in the back of his mind. A feeling like he’s missing something.

- Jungkook easily becomes proficient in the blade, soon overcoming most of his classmates. And there is something about the way that the blade feels in his hands that feels- almost too purposeful.

- Fate is a hard thing to avoid. Being a warrior was in Jungkook’s blood from the day he was born, and he might not have been raised to hate as much as his ancestors, but his natural inclinations and the warrior's instincts are still there.

- Both of your sons get older- growing bolder and more interested in the outside world. On the days when Hoseok isn’t going into the city for classes, they take the world by storm. Hoseok isn’t old enough to fly with Jungkook on his back like you and Jungkook do on Yoongi’s but he’s getting there. Now the size of a horse when he shifts, his face eye level with your own. His claws scratching the stone floor in your house when he decides to muscle his way through the door.

- They already give you both a run for your money and a short run on your nerves by the amount of mischief they get up to in their free time. Yoongi assures you that it's normal for a dragon of Hoseok’s age to want to test their bounds- push outside the nest and explore. And wherever Hoseok goes Jungkook follows.

- Even after all this time- they’re still each other’s favorite person. Whatever friends Hoseok might make eventually in school- don’t matter when it comes to Jungkook, No one comes even close.

- Jungkook and Hoseok manage to get into trouble more than a few times on their adventures. Exploring the woods, the edge of the mountains, the city less because Namjoon keeps a very close eye on them both. They bring back things for you- Hoseok especially likes too. Yoongi almost wants to cry the first time Hoseok brings back a large shiny rock- the first piece of what will one day be Hoseok’s hoard.

- Hoseok puts it on the shelf in his bedroom, Jungkook sitting on the floor looking at him, “Wanna go try to find something else Hobi?” Hoseok feels a certain fire in his chest, one that he hasn’t known before- something greedy and wanting. “Yes please.”

- Most of the trouble they get into comes in the name of Hoseok and Jungkook finding things for their hoard, they try to steal a silver egg from a cockatrice and Jungkook gets pecked on his arms so deeply that it needs stitches. “What did you learn?” you ask, already having given them a stern talking too when they’d turned up on your doorstep Hoseok clutching at Jungkook’s arm crying like he’s the one whose been hurt.

- You sit in front of the fire that night, stitching him up- Jungkook is a little trouper, barely cries at all, Hobi lies across his lap in dragon form, little tears dripping out, licking at Jungkook’s wound making little distressed noises- you don’t begrudge him for his sensitivity- you know he can feel it too when Jungkook gets hurt. “That we should be more careful around things we haven’t seen before.”

- They try to take a pearl comb from a batch of selkies who have taken up residence in a nearby lake and you make them go and return it. Both of them hiding behind you a little as you hover by the edge of the lake. “Sorry about this,” you say, as one of them rises out of the water, their faces sunken, skin green and oily, hair flowing like algae, black stones where their eyes should be. Their voices send a shiver down your spine- “it’s okay- happens all the time!” and you shiver as they sink back into the water.

- “What did you both learn this time” “unless they’re bad people you shouldn’t steal” “not quite, try again” “stealing is wrong?” “but isn’t that what dad does?” you wince internally- maybe you should have a more concise talk about this with Yoongi later.

- Time passes, and Yoongi finds himself waking up happy every morning, cuddled with his family. Or sometimes just with you, his nose pressed to the nape of your neck, heart thrumming with happiness at being close to his mate. he thinks that if he had this- every day for the rest of his existence he’d be fine- be more than fine.

- As both boys get older and turn from children into gangly teens, Hoseok starts to learn how to breathe fire, though he’s still only capable of blowing smoke and sparks on the best of days. He won’t for a few more years- that doesn’t stop him from trying and bugging Yoongi to show him how he breathes fire, “please just show me one more time dad I promise, I think I can get it this time” no matter how many times Yoongi assures him that he shouldn’t rush fire breathing.

- It’s a few months after their last trip to the dragon city when the council- Namjoon specifically calls him on something. Though it’s sooner than he would have expected given the last call it’s not really that big of a deal. Just a report of a nearby dragon den that had gone into early hibernation and tempted concern. But Yoongi just finds them all sleepy and cuddled over each other, the alpha lifting his head at Yoongi’s appearance at the caved entrance, sleepily asking what council business he’d been called on and why it couldn’t wait until spring.

- Yoongi might only be gone for a day, but it’s enough for them to find you.

- The hunters find the hidden manor house only a few hours after Yoongi leaves. This close to the dragon city they’re looking for an unguarded hoard and find it in your home. Because a hoard guarded by two humans and an unmatured dragon shouldn’t be too much of an obstacle. What they’re doing so far into dragon lands- how they’ve managed to come so far undetected- you don’t know.

- A dozen of them that surprise you. it’s a lazy easy day, Jungkook already home from practice. Eager to go out after lunch and explore with Hoseok since he didn’t have school today either. They complain about the chores you make them do before they go out- but since you have your housekeeper in today you're intent on more maintenance. and that includes cleaning the floors which means all the furniture needs to move off the rugs.

- It’s then that you hear a knock on the door- your housekeeper running to get it while you and your sons follow, both of them internally glad at a visitor- if it’s someone from the town looking for your healing abilities that means they’ll be free for the rest of the day!

- Imagine your surprise when your housekeeper answers the door only to receive a sword deep in her gut, falling backward, the light leaving her eyes before she hits the floor.

- They’re after Yoongi’s hoard (hidden in the cavernous basement) but they’re aiming for Hoseok first as they spill into your entranceway to eliminate the greatest threat, and Jungkook lunges in front of him- stupid. The smaller boy easily muscled to the side by one of them, 3 more waiting at his back to storm into the room and more behind them. Jungkook clutches at his side, blood on his hands and pain in his face- and no- Hoseok will not stand for that- not his Jungkook. The second pain radiates down the soulbond Hoseok shifts.

- You lunge for him before Hoseok can, You’re feral when he aims his knife in their direction. “not my sons you ugly bastard-” you cut your hand and it gets in his eyes as you wrestle the knife away from him, he doubles over after connecting your knee to his groin.

- Hoseok rears up and attacks. His fear gone- only action, bearing his teeth and using them. Head striking out like a snake- only blind rage in his heart and head- all at the sight of Jungkook- bleeding for him. No one hurts his family like that- one of them tries to run, and Hoseok peruses them.

- Jungkook shakes it off- it’s not a bad wound- he’s honestly gotten worse in practice. his sword is by the entryway, laid their carelessly after his lesson (how many times had you reminded him that his weapons belong in his room- asked him to pick them up along with his shoes- you’d never imagined you’d be glad for his carelessness).

- Though his practice blade is dull- master long fang has taught him well enough that he can use it to get a sharper sword away from his opponent, the new weapon is absurdly heavy in his arms, and it sends vibrations that rattle to his core when Jungkook brings it up to block a strike.

- The adrenaline thudding in his veins as he faces the hunters down erases the soreness from his earlier sparring session. The second the sword is in his hands, a chilling calm set over him, and he falls right back into what's been thought through countless hours of practice. keep your shoulders down, elbows tense, step with commitment- he can almost hear his master scolding him for a poorly parried lunge. Around him Hoseok bobs and weaves, using his wings as much as his claws and neck.

- Jungkook vaults over his back to defend against his side from another attacker. They move like they’re talking- like the countless hours they’ve spent exploring together, like the way they hold each other at night, one part of the same soul, predicting the other's movements- you too,

- Though the dagger in your handshakes you hold your own. It helps that these men don’t seem like trained soldiers- more thuggish than that. Their axes are no match for Jungkook’s quick movements. their movements slow and brutish. No match for Hoseok’s bite.

- Jungkook has the first kill- more dumb luck than anything else. He feels the man die by his hands, He sees the blood hot and smelly, soaking into the little lines of his fingertips, And immediately decides he doesn’t want to be a warrior after all of this- not if it’s like this. Jungkook would lose it- start crying and sobbing if it weren’t for Hoseok at his side, the brush of his feathers- the way the wind hugs him and buffers Jungkook when he moves. Hoseok is the only soothing thing he can hold onto.

- Hoseok manages to mortally wound one and send another through the window with a swipe of his tail and it scares the rest off. They might have thought they could handle you and Jungkook- but Hoseok is a force to be reckoned with- all of those lessons paid off. Now Hoseok knows how to handle his larger scaly body- how to make himself lethal and feral.

- You are just pausing; chest heaving in fear, just as the other two retreats and run out of the house, deciding that the hoard must not be worth losing their lives. Hoseok and Jungkook are shaking with adrenaline, your hair bloody and free of its braid.

- Hoseok shifts back to human form reeling from the bloodshed. His mouth as red as his hair. You wipe it away with your sleeve crying as you touch his head, Jungkook’s too, needing to make sure both of your children are safe. To touch them and make sure they’re there. Jungkook is the only one injured a little cut on his side that isn’t bleeding too much. “I’m fine mom- I’m fine-”

- You verify they’re okay before you go to your housekeeper- touching her neck to feel her pulse- only to find out she’s already gone. You move her to the side so you can close the door and lock it with the deadbolt. Dead men litter your entryway, some of their chests still rising unevenly with death rattle breath. It has been a long time since you’ve been around dying men and it doesn’t feel any better knowing they deserve it- that you were fighting for your life.

-And in the Centre of them, Hoseok holds Jungkook close, sends you a pained glance, crying, touching Jungkook’s side, blood all over both of them. they’re 13 and 15 now but at that moment- they look like the same scared little kids you raised.

- You go to them, clutching them close, Jungkook is crying, Hoseok looks too shaken- like he can’t breathe around the adrenaline- but you can still hear distantly the other men in the woods running and starting to regroup. So you need to push them away urging them in the direction of the basement, “Head to the hoard- they won’t be able to get through the door-” they hesitate, “just go- your father will be back soon and he’ll-“

- Jungkook will remember the next moment for the rest of his life;

- Hoseok doesn’t see- the exact moment it happens, head turned away just slightly- but Jungkook does. Jungkook sees every moment of it.

- He’ll remember The way you’d paused, made a choking noise- only to look down at your stomach. Jungkook remembers when Yoongi had bought you that dress- the one with the little blue flowers on it, that day in the dragon city. Now turning blood red, the stain seeping outwards too fast from your belly.

- You stumble trying to keep your feet under you, the dagger in your hand clanging to the floor. Revealing the man behind you- his sword shining with your blood.

-“Mom!” Hoseok shrieks, as you crumple to the floor.

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