#i’d post her playlist but i don’t think y’all care

[daandyli0n]

*sigh* alright. i’ve made a dsmp sona (that’s probably closer to an oc but i don’t really care)

i’ve named her omen.

some facts about them:

-she/her, they/them pronouns baby!!

-15 at first appearance, 16 currently.

-some sort of weird chimera between a sheep and hellhound. by all technical accounts she shouldn’t exist, but here she is!!

-sheep parts: eyes, horns, hooves, hair (kinda)

-hellhound parts: the sclera of the eyes, ears (which is harder to tell, but still there), teeth, and tail.

-fun fact of the day! omen’s design (the fact that they’re a hellhound-sheep mix) and some parts of their character are sort of based on some very, very mild religious trauma i’ve got (it’s nothing serious, don’t worry! it’s just. There, y’know?). what i mean by that is how i still practice and am a part of the religion (sheep, which should give y’all a hint as to which one it is), but that i don’t agree with certain...normalized bits of the religion (the lgbtq+phobia in general; i don’t know how strongly i can emphasize that i’m very accepting of and am even a part of the community myself) and about how i’d date someone who’s trans and/or nonbinary, which are both things that would probably get me called a sinner irl (hellhound). omen also tries to disguise themself as a regular sheep hybrid; tucking in their tail, saying that they’ve just got weird ears and eyes, and trying to hide the fire magic. so take all of that how you will (sorry for the rant. i guess this is me projecting on a character).

-star freckles!! star. freckles!!

-look, due to how much of an introvert i am irl, i’m just saying that i’d probably get kidnapped for the revival experiments. however, that doesn’t mean that i don’t think i’d be able to get out >:3c (my guess on how exactly that happened was that they didn’t actually perma kill omen, but they believed they did. when everything went downhill for those two post-disc war finale, omen finally left. not without a lot of physical and mental scarring, obviously...and anger. let’s not forget the anger...)

-omen isn’t in the same universe as the other 8; she’s in her own timeline.

-they joined the server during the schlatt administration, took One look at the drama on the server, and Noped The F**k Outta There. they moved near the area that would eventually become logstedshire.

-because of this, they witnessed a few parts of tommy’s exile, but not all of it. they Do know that things were pretty bad, but not the extent of how bad things were.

-they were taken for the experiments around the time tommy left exile, and escaped back into the regular world around the time tommy died in prison. they decided to move closer to other people after what dream told them while reviving them once (which was the fact that he and punz went after people living on their own and were isolated from people)

-due to revival, her fire magic is is now soul fire.

-she and tommy just have a mutual understanding with each other that they both Went Through Something, even if tommy doesn’t exactly understand what happened to omen (and she has no intentions of talking about it).

-quackity approached them before the Red Banquet asking if they wanted to help go against the Eggpire. omen asked who was a part of that, and the Second quackity mentioned punz’s name, omen basically went “Sign Me Up!” look, quackity just gave them an excuse to fight punz (one of the people who put them through that pain), why Wouldn’t omen jump at the opportunity?

-they’re a potion seller and do also do tarot readings. they do this to get diamonds and other things as payment.

-she was Not Happy when dream broke out.

-her voice claim is lapis lazuli from steven universe.

here’s a picrew of them:

(picrew i used)

i guess a playlist for her?? here’s some songs:

“aura” by ghost

“hell’s coming with me” by poor man’s poison

“therefore i am” by billie eilish 

“arsonist’s lullaby” by hozier (the v i b e s)

“loser” by neoni

“darkside” by neoni 

later, i’ll post quotes and maybe memes about them. if you’ve got any other questions, y’all can ask them in the comments/reblogs in the post and i’ll answer them later when i can.

#dsmp sona #dsmpsona #oc: omen #here they are!! my oc/sona that i REALLY projected onto #hope y'all like them!

[survivor-marieta-islands]

Episode 1: "Why do I hear Boss Music?"—Zee

Antigua

Steven

Hey y’all!!! I’m just your average line cook that is sweating his ass off in the summer heat. If I’m not working then I’m probably watching reality tv or playing something Pokémon related.

Ellie

HIIII have y'all missed me?? the original idol and immunity giving snake queen has returned to her throne of ninth place. I have missed this omg, I haven't been super active bc of college and shit but thankfully i am in an alliance (hate the feeling of not being in one) with my bestie baes Raffy and Colin called chaos CREw (see what we did there) I genuinely want to play with them and have us be f3 just bc i think it would be fucking hilarious!!! bye party people, ttyl

Jinx

AUGUST 10th, 2023 (2:22PM) CURRENTLY: Watching two GAY PEOPLE play Phasmophobia while queueing a playlist of 557 KPOP songs. BACKGROUND: This season Jinx wants to try to focus more on written confessionals as it’s what is most accessible for the majority of people and they did tell people in their intro that they’re a writer, afterall. In an effort to bring some humor, honesty and flair to their Survivor Stings ORG experience they are trying to adopt their detective persona from Raccoon City in the voice of Noir Spiderman from Spiderverse (with some Barbie energy tbh). It is very very likely that they’ll abandon or forget or just be completely against this persona fearing it is cringe beyond measure – but they may also keep it up as it’s kinda fun. Either way, they’re writing and that is a feat. A writer who doesn’t write is simply a flop.

LMAOO ANYWAYS I don’t know how to be serious in this type of way completely but I was feeling myself when writing the above so I will accept it and move on. If I’m not consistent with it, at least I tried! Which is really what this season is about on a personal level for me. It’s about meeting myself where I’m at. I expressed to Jay in my confessional that I’m frustrated at the current state of personal affairs even if it is temporary.

Coming into this season of Stings, I feel like I have a lot to give back and a lot left to express. Two seasons in a row, while I have nothing to regret about the games I have played – I have regrets about the personal relationships I have failed to maintain and the ones I failed to cultivate. I remember everyone from both seasons, I actually do care about them, I also know that these personal feelings may not align with others personal feelings about me. That it might not be what other people feel from me due to my absence. Due to my inability to have a good social game particularly last season. Saying yes to Stings this season, I was optimistic about the direction my life was heading and still am. More so, about the environments, the time I’d have, the attitude I’d come in with. It wouldn’t be burdened with the same struggle I have come into the last two seasons with and in a way – it isn’t.

In a way, I am simply sick of my own shit which may add to the judgment I am placing on myself. Not only judgment but the idea that my presence was really of THAT much importance to anyone in or out of game. I wanted to be much more confident and self assured that I would be different this time, not just disappear post season because of life circumstances as if not everyone has life get in the way. I know now I am still being kinder to myself than I have in the past – I do not write this with actual anger towards myself, striking disappointment, deep frustration but with a heavy sigh of here we go again. Though, with this awareness I know I can change my actions for the better. Even if I fail, I can try again. There’s an air of compassion that I’ve cultivated with and for myself. It’s definitely different than over a year ago when I first played Stings.

When I first played Stings – it was because Amy begged me to. Around six people had dropped out and she just needed a body, someone to play and be there. Paired with Raffy hosting – it was an easy sell. When falling down the rabbit hole of Survivor Stings, I didn’t expect to love an ORG or an environment or cast this much. I had just moved out, I was a mess on a level I knew of but never was allowed to investigate due to not being in a safe environment for so long until then. As I investigated, I was playing Survivor Stings. It’s weird to think that I am such a different person than I was even a year ago because as I’ve written this I don’t think I’ve given myself any faith, credit or hope that I am. I don’t even think I’ve expressed the changes and turns my life and myself have taken. I am so used to the disappointment that comes with failing that I forget how much I’ve succeeded and how far I’ve come. These are old narratives we sometimes tell ourselves when we don’t know how to write new ones. When we don’t know what the new ones will be. When it feels too scary to step into the greatness that we have earned because we are scared we are not worthy of it.

See me? I like knowing. To jump into the unknown always seems like a step back, even if I am of the risk taking variety, I like to take risks that are calculated. Moving cross country the way I have was the most uncalculated risk I have ever taken in my life and while it paid off – for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This oversight has caused me to feel a fear I haven’t since I moved out, I have seen as I have fallen into old patterns that are just really indicative of what my comfort zone is and why I need it currently. Even though I sometimes sit in doubt thinking I cannot break the cycle, I know I already have many times before. I know that I will, again and again. I wanted to come into Survivor Stings this time without thinking of all this. I guess that was my mistake, to think that playing an online Survivor game wouldn’t unearth something in me as it always does. This time though – I am the least certain of what it (the unearthed) will be than I ever have been. For once, I’m not really sure who I’ll be at the end of this game (because yes, I hope and plan to be at the end of this game) and it doesn’t completely scare me to not know. Maybe I’ll let myself down. Maybe I’ll surpass my expectations more than I could have ever imagined. Maybe I’ll be first boot. Either way, I don’t know and I am not trying to control it. That’s how I’m coming into this game.

I’ve only played one other ORG this entire calendar year – which is a feat for me. I go into ORGs with a lot more intentionality now, though it may seem so serious to me to be writing this all – it’s just how I am as a person. Hyper verbal, overly invested, able to detach quickly and grateful for the opportunity to be attached to an ORG I admire so much. I love these games, no matter how many bad experiences I have (which are plenty), no matter how many times ORGs have made me abuse my Xanax prescription, I will never say I will retire. They connect me to a part of myself that I felt was long gone, they connect me to so many people who have changed my life for the better. I think sometimes the point is to show up for yourself where you’re at when playing these games and not detach from it because we won’t take much from these games otherwise. For me, ORGs are a practice of being present with myself, learning other people, playing a game that is fun and brings out parts of me to overanalyze and understand. To win doesn’t mean getting first place to me – though that would be nice this time around – to win would be to at peace with myself. To know I played the best game I possibly could, that I am proud of the game I played, that I know I rose to the occasion and didn’t shy away from it.

During FTC last season, in my closing speech I quoted something along the lines of: Faith isn’t free – it costs us our cynicism and demands we spend a lifetime practicing it. I have been in constant practice of feeding my cynicism to the abyss, hoping that the faith I cultivate from letting go of it is no longer blind but earned. No matter what, this is what I aim to practice this season. Faith. In myself, my decisions, my intuition and my gameplay. I think it’s time for me to let go of the fears, the imposter syndrome, the trauma and move forward because this is a chance to practice. We don’t get enough chances to practice this delicate process in everyday life. This is what I am protecting, this is what drives me to get to the end of this game. In this current life transition, the knowledge that this isn't permanent and I have the honor of shaping my game, myself, my future in however way I want to. I want to lead with faith. As I write that, I cry. Because I am so scared to put this into practice but that’s exactly why I have to. I deserve to give myself the chance. XOXO, Gossip Jinx

eman

I know I say this every time but this time I really mean it.

It's vibes.

No plans.

I'm gonna let the game carry me.

What happens happens.

Promise.

🫡

Colin

WOOO GO GERIATRIC TRIBE

the game started last night and i'm LOVING this. so many old jokes to be made. and made they shall be. some of these people are so old that I don't even know them, and i've been around since the birth of christ.

pre season i said that if I didn't have a night one alliance then i would have failed. and unfortunately i failed. but i do have the groundwork for several partnerships. Ellie broke the ice by saying f2, so that's a thing. I love working with Ellie but sometimes they're too chaotic for their own good.

I had a great lil game talk with Steven last night. we agreed that we're gonna play this game naturally, and just accept that previous relationships are going to be a factor (i mean its a fucking all stars game). Usually we try to avoid each other because everyone just EXPECTS us to work together, but none of that this time. I'd love to work closely with Steven, I've never gotten the chance to before.

I spent like 45 mins on the call with jinx after everyone else left, we bonded over past org trauma and both of us living in missouri. it was a nice lil meeting. I think I can see myself wanting to work with them. they're very interesting.

and ofc I wanna work with Amy. Amy is an absolute treasure to the community. AND WE LIVE LIKE 30 MINS FROM EACH OTHER??! so we've already planned to attend some tribals together and meet up for some coffee. it'll be such a gag. i'm excited.

thats what I got for first impressions. gonna spend the rest of the day playing flash games and seeing what else I can learn about people and how they feel about the game.

bye bye

Amy

The Olds tribe is ICONIC and I literally do not want to go to tribal so I hope we win. I am also currently playing a two day mini right when this game started so I haven't been great with initial connections. Just banking on the fact that I know most people to get me through for now. This whole cast is iconic. Gonna be a fun one!

Jinx

oh i have GOT to rethink playing orgs and working full time. thinking i need to quit my job -- thoughts? bad idea, right?

Steven

There is a lot of people from T&T here which is kinda stressful since it literally just happened. Will there be drama from last season going to affect this one? Who knows but it’s definitely not what I was hoping for when signing up for this game. I will say that I am thankful to be old. The last few games I felt a need to hide my past in orgs and play down aspects of it but since everyone on the tribe has played them for years I don’t see a need to lie about it. Hopefully with being able to be more free to talk about my past I will be able to connect to everyone easier. Also there is a decent amount of stings winners on the tribe which is also a benefit and since I don’t think I need to hide that I have won in the past as a worry for putting a target on my back. My biggest worry right now is im busy today so im not as social as I want to be. The plan is once I finish work tomorrow is to put my social game into full gear and get everyone to love me. I just need to do it before results are posted so it doesn’t look sus and im just doing to not get booted. From the looks of it though we are up a point (thanks to me) and are on track for two more. Cross my fingers and wish me luck

Maddison

HI HELLO SLUTS (not derogatory) Let's seeee what's goin on. I'm doing a MID job at socializing with everyone tbh I have a total of zero (read: zero) alliances at this point which is ~ not awesome ~ but I've been a busy adult sooooo anywho. Lots of people on this tribe with pre-existing relationships which could play out in a multitude of ways. Raffy is hella consistent with reaching out and is defo social butterflying through this thing right now. Jinx is CUTIE absolutely love them. I'm currently pretending to semi-care about Taylor Swift (i do not) but I think I'm doing a decent job heheh. I've talked to several other people but honestly haven't gotten too far into any discussions and I've had not one single strategy conversation yet. :-) flop era activated. This is so chaotic but I've had three cups of coffee and am just pretending this is my journal. What else uuuuhmmmm one of my biggest mistakes during TDF was not talking to everyone on the tribe at the top. I need to rectify that this go around but haven't gotten there yet. Maybe this evening I can dedicated some time to networking lmfaooo. Okay that's all. Stay tuned folks happy Sunday <3

eman

Remember how I said on day one that it was no strategy only vibes and that I was only gonna see where the game took me.

And how swear to god this time I was serious.

I was a lying liar who lied.

Day two saw me up at the buttcrack of dawn to go to a National park and also trying to get a photo of an alpaca.

It still didn't do any good. We still lost the scavenger hunt.

Thank god we still won as a team for other reasons.

I'm all crankypants about losing the scavenger hunt though.

But at least we're still winning as a team.

And hopefully other team vibes will carry me through. I'm not willing to name names yet.

Yet.

Colin

WOOO WE WON THE CHALLENGE. i'm so glad because I feel like if this tribe of icons was going to tribal so soon, it'd be an absolute toss up. everyone is really formidable and I don't think anyone would be leaving without a fight.

i've been talking game a little bit here and there. i talked with raffy today and we came up with a little plan for securing our spots on the tribe.

we both LOVE amy and jinx, so we're gonna try to align with them. honestly I was wanting to make a missouri alliance with amy and jinx anyway, and i'm certainly not opposed to working with raffy.

i was talking to ellie yesterday and they mentioned the cursed idea of us + raffy + steven. except I dont think it's that cursed. I think i'd actually love to work with all of them. I really wanna make it work between Steven and I, we've never gotten a chance to work so closely before.

SO we're also gonna try to set up a side alliance with those four. I think the raffy + amy + jinx will be my main alliance, but covering all my possible bases is great. the tribe is still pretty big so working with a lot of people is smart, otherwise you'll get blindsided by the people you're not working with.

JG

Steven

Zoe

hi hello WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING BACK HERE IN SURVIVOR I really and truly am a chicken with my head cut off this round I forget how to play BUT I do feel that I'm building good social bonds with a few people which could make for me being an excellent göat xoxo Also thank heck we didn't have to go to the first tribal because I'm positive I would have been voted out lol

eman

Feelings and all . . . where would eman be without feelings. I dunno, man.

Idol hunt started and I found a backpack that had a metal detector and because I'm a Scorpio who can't keep a secret I went running. Why'd I go running to Amy, I don't even know, something told me to and that SOMETHING was right . . .

Cuz Amy had already been idol hunting and she got somewhere that said she needed a metal detector and whadaya know she's now let me in on her idol hunting.

So . . . maybe something's gonna happen . . .

We'll see.

It's weird that I'm pathologically incapable of carrying on a simple conversation IRL and yet incredibly good at the social game in Stings.

This tribe is nice.

Soup to nuts.

Raffy

This game is going to be intense from start to finish. I can feel it. I'm going to have to be extremely strategic to navigate through this mess. Here is my first impression of the cast:

1. Colin: We have never really gotten the chance to work together deep into a game. I feel like when we work together we always end up never going far together lol. Maybe that means I should not work with them, but I will try to feel them out. I can definitely see them being able to play more low-key and navigate easily through this tribe. Definitely not a name that can be thrown out easily.

2. Ellie: It is not a question of "if"; it is a question of "when" Ellie and I will work together. We always manage to get backed into the same corners in games so we also end up being forced to work together. I know if I need someone to flip or give me information, I can rely on them to give me what I need. What will be interesting is if we land on different sides. Though I can see Eman adopting Ellie and Ellie working with Maddison, Jinx, and Zo. Honestly I think Ellie has the most open game on my tribe so I think I want to get on their good side for the time being.

3. Eman: I don't know where I stand with Eman. I'm unsure if they will come for me for being amazing. I'll have to feel them out and get to know them more. However, currently, they are on my shortlist of people to get voted out of this tribe only because I am really unsure where I would stand.

4. Jinx: Jinx is going to be loyal to me 1000% if I am loyal to them back. However, I really don't know if I want to work with Jinx in this game because I like to shake things up and I don't know if our goals will align with who we want to work with. I wanna see who they get on with. I also worry that Jinx will be a late pre-merge boot if they get swap screwed. Though it is incredibly hard to turn down a guaranteed number and safety.

5. Maddison: A person I've never played with before! Her and Zo are the wildcards of the group. I just have a strong feeling they will work with Ellie and Zo. Those 3 kind of give off similar energy. But, I might want to be the fourth in that alliance. I really don't wanna vote her out, but she would be on my shortlist if it came down it.

6. JG: JG is a great guy. He's very loyal which is good. He hasn't been too online for the premiere which is always a worry since people might see you as inactive. But, he has a board game night with his friends so we'll see. I just don't know how JG will fit into any combination of alliances with people so I think he might already be on the outs? But that's just my worry since I do wanna work with him, I just don't see who would want to work with him with me. I'll put him on the shortlist of people too only because I feel like everyone would.

7. Steven: I love Steven so much. Do I want to work with Steven this game? Honestly I am not sure. I love talking to him so would love to get the chance to work with him again, but idk I get the vibe we might be on different sides. I think he'll definitely try to work with Colin and Amy. He might even bring in JG. Maybe that's the side that opposes the Ellie, Maddison, Zo (and maybe Eman) side that I've already conjured up in my head.

8. Zo: I want to work with her so bad. I've only talked with her for like 10 minutes, but I can already tell she's great and will be beneficial. Seems like an easy person to get along with and will be a way in for people I don't talk to. Very social butterfly. Very much how Ellie and I work together. I just hope she vibes with me. I would hate to be on opposite sides.

9. Amy: I fucking stan Amy so hard. I would love to work with Amy in this game. I kind of want to push Amy as my shield and cut her near the end so that I can win. A little bit of role reversal on my part. We'll have to see what her schedule is like though for this game as that kinda determines her activity lol.

Overall, I feel pretty good about this tribe. I think most people will see me as helpful rather than detrimental for the pre-merge phase. I think if I just chill and not game too hard that I'll be able to survive at least all of pre-swap. I'm too valuable during the pre-merge to let go at this point in time.

The other tribe definitely has some characters and threats. I do not trust Clefford, putting that out there. He's a devious little scamp. Trinica is an icon and would love to work with them, but I think we need to work together in pre-merge first because I wanna establish a rapport with them before I work with them in this game. AJ and Zee are definitely on my shortlist only because they are literally so chaotic that I think Ellie would be swayed into joining them. If they made it to merge, it's gonna be Ellie, Maddison, AJ, Zee, and Zo. Oh and Adeline is probably ALREADY working with AJ and Zee so add them onto that alliance too lol. Ellie is foaming at the mouth to work with Adeline again. I already know. Just watch. Love seeing Hairie and Brandi back. I feel like they are going to work together.

Sin Sazonar

Trinica

First impression: FUCK Second impression: DOUBLE FUCK

Basically, all the cool cats are on the oldies tribe, so my little babies tribe is screwed in this first challenge. Clefford wasn't around to pick a category so got put on pro gamers when he doesn't have a freaking computer and then immediately submitted super low scores instead of talking to his teammates about it, Shawn asked to do Popularity but seems to have only posted on social media instead of in VLs, Hairie was on trivia because he was quite literally the only one of us willing to do it who seemed to have seen a ton of Survivor but he lost because Steven is a superfan, and Tanner has now been moved to the scavenger hunt, a challenge he historically flopped on in Trinidad & Tobago. Like he only submitted 2 items and didn't do them correctly so didn't get any points for it. The ONLY section I think we have a chance at is 3-2-1.

It's honestly just hard to fight against the other tribe! They've been playing orgs longer than us, they're more familiar with Stings as a series, they likely have some challenge know-how/strategy that we don't. I have never played these flash games in my life. You know who probably has played them for hours and hours? Colin and Raffy. And maybe JG but I don't know them.

Not just that, this season is basically North Sea Reunion, which puts me at an immediate disadvantage. Maaaybe I'd have a shot if I was with Jinx and Raffy (or Colin and Steven since I've hosted them). But no, I'm stuck on a tribe with Zee who has seen me blindside AJ, AJ who has been blindsided by me, Hairie who has been blindsided by me, Clefford who has been blindsided by me, Arvin who has been blindsided by me, and Brandi who I never played with but who knows I won. Plus Tanner, who is tight with Hairie and AJ, and Del, who has connections to Clefford and Hairie. I just don't see a world in which A) we don't lose, and B) I'm not first boot.

Some may say I'm being defeatist (*cough* Jay *cough*) but I think I'm being realistic. This is a season I am simply not destined to go far in. My only hope is to convince people I'm good at challenges so should be kept until merge, and I'm a good meat shield.

Tanner

I’m feeling connected to Adeline others there isn’t game talk

Zee

Ok so right now I'm kind of feeling like a kid on their first day of school in a new school, I don’t know anyone and I want to make friends but it seems like everyone already knows each other and I’m just the new kid on the block. I am however taking this new game as a new leaf, since I want to play this game the way I should have played my last one, more trusting, giving, and openhearted. Imma slay the same though, the slay levels are remaining how they are now. Oh and I found that little clue in the rules for the idol hunt so I’m interested to see what that turns out to be :p

AJ

Starting this off with an early round one confessional bc why the hell not. Starting out I’m definitely not in a great position, if for the sole reason of I’m on Zee’s tribe. Which is not good. Yeah we say we don’t want to play with each other in the chats and everything, but I’m sure there’ll still be a general assumption/rumor that we’re gonna work together. Given, yk, the whole twin thing.

To be honest I’m not sure if I will be working with her, but we’ll see how alliance making plays out. I think the important thing for me is that she believes I’m playing with her. Given how chaotic she was last season and the somewhat generally negative perception she had, I really don’t think openly being an ally of hers is beneficial, but again, we’ll see what happens.

Also sidenote: I am scared about how many people I do not know on the other tribe.

I think this season I’ll start ranking people’s threat levels to my own game, because again, why not? At this starting point I’m going to just list people, my general vibe and thoughts about them at this point in the game, and also their threat level to my game right now and why I have put them there. (It’s a 1-5 scale - the higher the number the more dangerous)

General thoughts so far. I’m hesitant to work with Trinica bc she’s turned on me in two games now, we’ve got a hesitant thing going with working together for jury but idk if it’ll hold. Worried about Clefford since I didn’t speak to him for 10 months which is literally since we blindsided him. Hairie and Arvin I’m hopeful about. Hairie is a king and we stan. Arvin I kind of lied to constantly last game but he worked with us in the end. He’s probably closer to Trinica or Hairie than me at this point though. Shawn, Brandi, and Adeline I really don’t have any idea about - so I’m hoping to connect with them.

Tanner is the shining light in all of this, because I feel like with a little bit of work I can definitely have him on my side. He’s probably closer to me than anyone else in the game at this point, though I’m not sure who else he’s played with. But he seemed to be on good terms with me when we last spoke so. Fingers crossed we don’t lose and I don’t end up as first boot.

AJ

Talked with Trinica some more, I think maybe we can have a solid Jury pact, I hope so. Hairie I can’t quite trust I don’t think, he’s defs a villain esp given what Trinica is saying from watching his host chat. Him and arvin are an alliance to keep an eye on, and also him and Tanner who are apparently closer than I thought. Hopefully I can get a lot of people close to me. It would be really nice to win one of these things. Esp Stings, esp after last time lol.

Arvin

Hey Stings Fam. I'm back! I am so excited to play again, There's a lot of players from my original season and I wonder who's willing to work with me this time, since we all know how we played last time. I feel confident with our tribe that we can win the first immunity but I'm a bit worried that we haven't lock in our tasks yet. I also don't feel confident doing any of the challenges, so if I have to pick one it would be the TikTok got it challenge but it seems like the twins (AJ and Zee) won't let go of it because of the so called twin telepathy. My other choice would be the Stings classic first challenge, scavenger hunt. So I hope I end up doing it. I just hope for the best.

Clefford

My tribe is obviously The North Sea reunion. I was expecting this tribe to have unfamiliar faces, but I just got disappointed. Well, what can I do? Let's just face them.

CAST IMPRESSION

Good thing is that I have my co-Pinoy here, Arvin. I also know Hairie and Tanner in the ORG community. I'm actually shocked to learn that Zee is AJ's twin. They're both pretty and fun, so I'm putting extra effort to connect with them. I also had a chat with Trinica that I'd like to work with her this time. I'm happy to see Adeline, my Racoon City sister, and hopefully consider working again with me. I'll try to get into Shawn and Brandi's vibes, so hopefully they'll be around soon.

Seeing OLD TRIBE (yes, all caps) is pretty exciting. I would love to stay longer, so that I can interact with them. Unfortunately, Jinx is also playing this season. I don't know, but I'm kinda scared of her just the thought of she'll target me if we meet. I'm too kind to be treated that way *cries*. I wish that it's a clean slate between us.

CHALLENGE

Since I was late in the marooning, I got assigned to be in Pro-Gamers category where I had to play 3 challenges under that, and unfortunately, the challenges weren't designed to be played on mobile and I don't have a Laptop (Dear Santa, kidding) so I had to look an hour for a computer cafe to rent in my area. Premerge, I'm a tribe strong kind of player so challenges are really important for me to win to keep me and my tribe safe.

AJ

Day 2 and I’m already somewhat concerned. I thought I was doing alright, had some decent conversations with Hairie, Arvin, and surprisingly Clefford. However, I was informed by Zee that both today and yesterday all three of them had already been saying how Trinica and I are tight. I’m not sure how true that is/if that’s true - but it does leave me somewhat worried because I don’t want that to be a general perception out of the gate.

Also according to Hairie a lot of people are speculating about the twin thing, and I’ve straight up confirmed to Brandi that Zee and I live together. Which is another thing that concerns me because like, people are going to think we’re working together so much and I really don’t want that. When we’re together we’re always “the twins” and I really don’t want that to be a thing.

Now, despite my concerns, I’m in two alliance chats. One that Trinica created with Zee and I - jokingly titled the same thing Zee’s host chat was called last season. The second one is titled Timezone Hell, and it is just a trash fire (lovingly.) In it is me, Zee, Clefford (who we blindsided in North Sea), Hairie (who I lied to at team captain, and in amethyst, and at merge and then blindsided him), and Arvin (who I lied to throughout the entire swap and merge, up until I eliminated him.) I trust zero of these people.

Do I think I’m first boot if we go to tribal? I worry that that’ll be the case. I hope not, but it’s my fear. I think my only hope is a swap where I can reunite with Jinx (we stan, I miss them), or Raffy, or even Colin and Steven. Eman is also someone I really want to work with, esp with us having a good connection from DnD. But gah, I just don’t even know what to do or who I’m going to work with. It feels like we’re gonna go to tribal already so I’m trying to make a game plan but goddamn if I’m not struggling.

Zee

Why do I hear Boss Music? That’s what’s going through my head right now. Before we got into the challenge we were all like “oh cool Old School vs New School” no, not cool, mission abort. What we failed to realize was that this now means we are most likely going to get pagonged due to the sheer amount of experience in these games the Mega-Time Returneees over on Antigua have. I can feel it, The Pagonging is among us. As far as people go, AJ and Trinica are fun but it does kinda feel weird talking to them considering they DID host my last game. I’d love to talk to Shawn and Adeline more, hopefully we vibe when they’re both back from vacation. Brandi also seems really nice, and like always I’d love to try an all female alliance, but probably gonna hold off on that a bit.

Shawn

So far, the game has already begun and it's starting fast. Everyone is already getting to know each other or they already know each other. I feel like I missed a huge chapter and it hasn't even been 24 hours. I think I might vote Tanner as my least connect. He doesn't seem to put in the effort. But who knows, the game just started.

Brandi

There is no chance of us winning the games part of the challenge no matter who is playing on sin sazonar- if I remember anything Raffy is amazing at the games

Shawn

So I wake up this morning from a text from Hairie saying "you've been away awhile, home you're enjoying your vacation 💕" which maybe it's the passive aggressive in me that read that as passive aggressive. I respond everyday, I'm working on my part, I haven't really been away THAT much. Maybe I'm reading into it, maybe it's just a nice message, but those are my morning thoughts.

AJ

I may have turned something around?? I told Hairie what Zee said about him spreading shit about Trinica and I, I also told him about Clefford being weird this morning. It seems like he’s now super sus of them (hopefully) and may want to get one of them out if (being real probably when) we go to tribal. Which is very good for me. No I don’t have any reason to feel bad about potentially voting Zee out. This is an all star season and that means big moves and taking risks. If that means leaving your twin high and dry so be it.

One of two things is happening. Either she’s being truthful, I’m an idiot, and I go home first. Or she’s doing what was done to her by Kaleigh last season and making stuff up to purposefully keep me close to her. There’s a probability Hairie isn’t spreading Trinica and AJ are close propaganda, and even if he is, knowing Zee isn’t tight lipped about it will definitely make her a bigger threat than me. If I can get him to want to go against them, which he already proposed, I’m golden.

To seal the deal, add a little cherry on top some might say, I also let him know what Clefford said about Tanner as a potential vote, which I already knew Hairie wouldn’t like - since Trinica had already told me about his soft spot/soreness on the topic of Tanner being first boot. I also don’t want Tanner to go - he’s closer to me and Hairie than he’d be to other people, and he willingly tells me about his connections. I also let him know that Zee flat out said we need to eliminate Tanner, which again, had the desired outcome. Now if everything goes well with it - and assuming we attend tribal council, here’s what we could do.

Hairie, Arvin, and I, vote for Zee - we can figure out how to get Arvin on board somehow. Maybe just say she can’t be trusted? That’s a different bridge to cross.

We can tell Shawn that their name got thrown out by Clefford for being inactive despite them being on vacation. Shawn was second boot, and hasn’t played since - thus there’ll hopefully be some, ok well what do we do now. They’ll potentially vote for Clefford. Brandi might still be close enough to Hairie to vote for Zee or Clefford. Trinica will defs be on board to vote for Clefford, because at this point it seems like neither of us trust him. Tanner can get told that Zee and Clefford are both wanting to vote him, and Clefford thinks he can control Tanner.

Adeline knows and worked with Clefford in Racoon City, and knows a lot of people on the other side. That’s definitely something to look out for. We probably can’t tell her about the vote.

Tanner has stated he really dislikes being controlled, by Sam in particular, and will most likely want to eliminate the people spreading his name. We could probably get Clefford out using this method. That’s 4-3 (Clefford-Zee) and is majority either way, even if the other 3 votes are Tanner.

Now this is good because if Clefford manages to find an idol with his early idol hunting access, then he either uses it and Zee goes home in a revote, or he doesn’t use it and goes home. Will this probably change after I have other conversations with other people? Yes. Does this mean that I could potentially get out Zee/Clefford if we go to tribal if I need to? Also yes. So yeah. Feeling tentatively okay about the inevitability of us losing.

AJ

The more I think about it though, the more sense it makes for Clefford to be the one out of the two to go home. Adeline doesn’t want a femme/them to go out first, and I honestly agree, so new idea is finding a way for it not to be me, Zee, and potentially for it to be Clefford.

We’re almost definitely going to tribal so. Time to start scheming.

--

Well results are out. So much has happened since then. Our tribe heard tribal council and really said “bet.” So I guess we’ll go in chronological order of events.

First Zee created a chat for all the non-men without asking half of the people she placed in it. She seems close to Adeline who has mentioned she won’t vote a non-man out first. Which means I should be safe but also means she won’t go along with the plan that’s slowly slowly coming together. Anyway back to the order of events. So Zee has this chat. Shawn and Brandi both say they’re already thinking someone to vote. They say it on three. Brandi says Tanner (big surprise everyone knew he was a name going around) and Shawn says Hairie. HAIRIE. My boy. Anyway I obviously can’t have either of those things. So I’m like oh Shawn idk I’d be more wary of Clefford bc he mentioned your name. Shawn thinks I mean Hairie. And everything hits the fan.

So while I’m running interference of pushing Clefford’s name while trying to look like I’m not pushing Clefford’s name, and making sure Tanner isn’t the vote, and making sure Hairie isn’t the vote - I’m also trying to figure out on the fly how I’m supposed to deal with Hairie’s cryptic but definitely worrying messages in the tribe chat. Shawn seems to have decided to confront Hairie, and clear the air or something, and Hairie was like I’m sorry wtf is happening. Telling Hairie the tea and that his name is out there turns from a soon thing to an even sooner thing out of safety for my own game.

I make it seem like I only said Clefford because he was fine with it earlier and it was that or Arvin who no one would believe. And I made it seem like I wasn’t actively pushing for Clefford. Now, after thinking Clefford was a good choice and telling Tanner it might have been a better choice than voting for Zee, I thought to myself. What if I told Clefford his name was out there. Then I thought, well who would the target be? Zee. Hairie would be on board, I’ve since talked to him about it.

Trinica is allegedly on board. Tanner is on board. Brandi is on the fence but when Hairie wakes up and if he can convince her then that there is five. If we get Arvin that’s six, seven if we have Clefford on board. We may get Shawn - Hairie has mentioned speaking to them about it. If we pull this off it will be iconic and really improve my game in terms of not being seen as a set. Twins are a problem the longer they’re together seems to be the general consensus, if I can play without that being an issue that would be ideal.

And if I get screwed by this oh well. At least I’m attempting to make a big move. At least I’m playing the game. A femmes and thems alliance getting Clefford out is a repeat of North Sea, and I’m not looking to replay that. If this bites me I can’t really be mad though. Hopefully it doesn’t.

TL;DR - Am I the drama? Maybe.

Zee

So Hairie just caused some D R A M A in the tribe chat which is wild, and now apparently my name is out on the table coming from Tanner’s mouth. We’ve also got a Yellowjackets alliance which is very interesting. After the drama I got a pretty passive aggressive message from Hairie and that confused me because I thought we were on good terms, and I didn’t really do anything to him so that kind of made me a bit sad. I’ve really just been trying to be friendly with everyone so that’s kind of very interesting.

--

I have Alex as a guest in my VL! Very exciting, since I feel like his insight is going to be useful, and it’ll be nice to have an outside opinion on everything that’s going on. I think I’ll talk to him about the Hairie situation and see what insight he has.

--

Ok so Alex provided good insight, I was wondering if it seemed strange, how Hairie was acting and all, and apparently he thinks it’s out of pocket too so at least I’m not reading into things. Sadly I really like Hairie he seems like a fun person to work with so I hope I can get to the bottom of all this. :((

--

Wowie. So I just found some big news out from Hairie. I woke up to a message with an apology, but then the boston teaparty of teas happened. SO. Apparently he pushed my name due to some misinformation that was going around. I originally got the assumption that it was Trinica, as AJ suggested that too, and since Trinica did something similar to AJ in North Sea I believed it. HOWEVER my dearest Hairie has said that it was AJ, my own twin, who is spreading the rumor and has been spreading it for days that I’m telling people that hairie is spreading a twin thing and I’m not ok with that. Meanwhile me and Hairie haven’t talked any game, and I never heard a twin convo from anyone. So me and Hairie are now comparing notes, and it’s opened my eyes A LOT. We’re now discussing a vote after our comparison of notes.

AJ

I’m honestly kind of nervous about tribal. I feel like there could definitely be some pull for Zee going home. Hairie, who I do actually want to work with, doesn’t know who to trust. Which is honestly valid but also…man it’s just so tough. I don’t want to lead the charge, but I also feel like it may help me be more trusted? Also as always I’m worried I might go home. I learned last season that it’s so easy to get absolutely blindsided, so these may be my only confessionals of the season lmfao.

Current vibe is, Shawn, Brandi, Trinica and I could have a potential little alliance chat on the horizon. I’m not sure - but if we four work together and pull in Tanner we at least have 5 for a Zee vote. Hairie is allegedly down for that too, which would be an easy six. Seven if he pulls in Arvin. IF - and it’s a big if - I’m not being lied to. God I’m about to be OTT in edgic for SURE. I’m gonna be surprised if I’m not.

Crossing all my fingers and toes that I can pull this off and I’m not bit in the ass because of it.

Zee

So it would seem that the vote has shifted to Adeline. Hairie and I had a call after we compared notes, and we talked it out too, he said I seem very chill and fun, when before he couldn’t tell the tone. We added Clefford to the call and now and just like with Hairie I just decided to be like fully honest. I mentioned how I spoke with AJ about wanting an all non-men alliance, and how she was like “yeah lol create it” and how tbh it was actually my bad because I forgot that one step is actually ASKING everyone if they wanted to be in an alliance so that’s a whoopsie daisy on my part. I have also learned that AJ is HARD PUSHING my name, like girly calm down. I also learned that Trinica apparently asked Hairie to do the trivia since nobody else would step up, which was surprising because when Adeline said that he wasn’t putting effort and he was putting pressure, Trinica didn’t say anything in his defense, so she seems ok with that perception of him out in the gamesphere. Hairie, Clefford, and I all ended up comparing notes, and it seems like we’ve made an alliance, calling ourselves the Chopping Block. I spilled literally all the tea I have to them, so I hope that doesn’t bite me in the ass. I told Hairie that I 100% am voting with him, and for this, I told him to prove it that I’d write a specific phrase as my voting message. This is the one I told him “I just realized that, when it's dark out, the stars shining looks like little jellyfish populating the ocean of the night”. I think I’ll send that in the ChopBloc alliance chat. We need to convince the others to vote for Adeline too, otherwise it’s probably me, Hairie, or Clefford going home.

Brandi

THIS IS SO CHAOTIC

Shawn

Clearly everyone is popping off. Everyone is losing their shit and like I don't even know. This game definitely didn't go like last time. Zee is.. completely unreliable. Not trusting Clefford either. I feel like I've been a little messy too in my Dms and stuff. I'm not sure what to think of this but I know Brandi and Trinica are trustworthy. And my sweet jay, but they are the host. Honestly I'm just hoping my name don't get said, and that I can finish my work day in peace.

Trinica

i'mma do a tier list of most dramatic/chaos-inducing tribe members to least:

1. Zee (duh, who's surprised) 2. Hairie (i actually am surprised) 3. AJ (surprised about her causing chaos, not surprised at her already being a target, we love a predictable queen) 4. Adeline (instinct is to be chill but went to the tribe chat to bring things to the open when she found out zee was saying her name so that's why she's higher on the list) 5. Brandi (leaking everything to Hairie) 6. Clefford (being surprisingly chill for Clefford tbh but also made the first alliance chat i'm pretty sure and also saying lots of names to lots of people, zero loyalty) 7. Me (mostly telling jokes to help defuse tension, also a little bit stirring pots here and there as i get the whim but mostly trying not to say a lot because these people never listened when taylor swift said loose lips sink ships all the damn time) 8. Tanner (literally pre-voted yesterday despite the rule being we can't change our votes lmao, very much outside the drama but also telling a few lies) 9. Shawn (just doesn't want to be boot #1 or 2, staying out of things otherwise) 10. Arvin (calm king, literally sleeping)

Hairie

--

Zee

OK SO SHIT LITERALLY HIT THE FAN. While I didn’t want Adeline to go home, I was willing to vote her if that’s what it took. Ever since the alliance was created it was getting leaked, and I was told that Brandi, Shawn, and Trinica all complained to Hairie about it being made. But regardless, the chat got messy and I think things were being leaked from every alliance chat that existed, so, yeah. Due to this I think it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be kept in this game, but I’ve said that I do want to work to rebuild trust, because tbh I never really meant to break anyone’s trust, and I really did want to work with a majority of the people in those chats. I do think that I could use a good night’s rest though, so I’m going to prevote for Clefford since his messy behavior is what caused all this mess in the first place. I am very interested to know who was leaking information in the beginning-middle of the alliance though, but I guess I’ll see that when all these confessionals do get published in the end. I did end up leaking things when comparing notes, but it was after the alliance was already basically leaked through to entirety, yet still I’ve accepted and acknowledged my part in the alliance chat, so…Anyway this is probably my last confession but we’ll see.

#episodes

[jungkxook]

—hot boy bummer. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut  

⟶ words: 14,633

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink

⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook​ and @onherwings​ for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛

( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )

Being friends with Jungkook meant a myriad of things but mainly that there were hardly ever any boundaries that stood between you and him.

Having known him for most of your life, it was just a quintessential part of yours and his relationship with one another. From high school parties where you drunkenly spewed on his shoes and in his dad’s car after he tried lugging you home (and taking the fall all himself for your sake) to letting him lose his virginity in your bed to some girl you didn’t know because your parents were out of town and his would crucify him on the spot if they had found out; or him discovering your stash of vibrators in your dorm one day, or seeing each other naked more often than was probably necessary, there was nothing that either of you could do that would phase the other at this point even when it maybe, probably, definitely should.

College, and Jungkook’s sudden six pack of hard rock abs, only seemed to amplify the chaos of your friendship. If you’re being honest, the abs are sort of a plus ━ but they brought an air of fuckboy to him that is undeniably there even if he tries to deny it sometimes. You suppose it isn’t all his fault. Jungkook has always been bold and brash, attractively charming. Considering he’s seemingly made it his mission to sleep with every girl on campus before he graduates (undisclosed, if you’re being honest, because he’s never outwardly admitted it but you have a hunch), his confidence somehow hasn’t failed him yet.

But then there’s one night in which you think to yourself briefly: this surely must draw some sort of line.

“What if we, like, had sex?”

Jungkook says this a little too casually from beside you. He’s sat on the couch in his dorm, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, and you’re sprawled out on the remaining space, feet kicked up in his lap. You’re positive he’s drunk but, then again, so are you. The remnant shot glasses of soju you had both started the night with (though you think Jungkook’s had half the bottle himself), and your second glass of wine, are all evidence of that. You’re so absorbed by some anime Jungkook had been watching upon your arrival and refused to change that you almost don’t hear what he says. Almost. You do, however, nearly choke on the gummy bear you’ve just tossed into your mouth.

After a sudden hysterical fit of coughs, you manage to sputter, “Excuse me?”

“Like, hypothetically speaking.” He hardly budges when you turn to gawk at him, as if he’s asking you something as casual as what to eat for dinner or if you could pass him the T.V. remote. “Except, not really hypothetically.”

“You’re joking, right?” You scoff.

Jungkook blinks. “No. Why would I be joking?”

You blink. The longer you stare at him, the quicker you’re able to discern that there’s some sort of earnesty in his words and it slightly concerns you. Suddenly, you’re warm in the face. To distract from that painfully obvious fact, an incredulous laugh bubbles at your lips and you kick one of your feet at his thighs. “Very funny, Koo. Can we change the show now if you’re not even watching it?”

“I’m not joking, Y/N.” The severity in his tone makes you sit up at once. When you turn to look at him, he flashes you a taunting smirk, though the devious sparkle in his eyes lets you know this seems to be anything but a joke to him. “I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked before.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot━” Okay, so maybe you have thought of him naked before but how is it your fault when you literally have seen him naked before, and he’s so unabashed around you? “Should I bring you to a hospital to get your head checked, or━?”

“Just hear me out━” Now, he pushes himself to the edge of the sofa. “Why are you here right now?”

“In life? Because I honestly have no clue━”

“No, I meant here. Getting drunk in my apartment on a Friday night instead of getting railed.”

“Okay, I didn’t ask to get called out like that,” You grumble stiffly. “And because you’re my best friend, and I like spending time with you.” It’s not entirely a lie, because you would much rather spend time with Jungkook than anyone else. But when you feel his eyes boring into you in a look of scrutiny, your lips form into a pout which you try to hide by puckering them. “Also because boys are stupid and Hoseok’s blind date stood me up. Again.”

The events from hours earlier resurface in your memory, in which you had spent all evening making yourself look pretty for a boy you had only talked to through text that your roommate had introduced you to, only to arrive to the restaurant you were supposed to be meeting at and waiting there for half an hour by yourself before the boy had sent you a message saying something along the lines of “something came up, hope we can reschedule,” filing it under one of the lamest excuses you’ve ever heard because it hardly even borders on a valid excuse. It’s what had ultimately made you storm into Jungkook’s apartment an hour ago, exclaiming aloud as a greeting with a simple yet scarily cheerful I hate men! because Jungkook knows all about your plights with finding a significant other (or even just someone decent enough to open your legs to), usually lamenting men’s inability to have any emotions. Even the ones who you think are respectable enough, who say they’re fine not having sex on the first date, usually tend to flee right after you finally let them in because sex, as you come to find, seems to be all that men care about.

Admittedly, Jungkook is not any different.

“But it’s not like you’re any better.”

This seems to personally offend Jungkook. He looks at you cynically. “Me?”

“Tell me why you’re here with me on a Friday night when you’re literally one of the hottest guys on campus,” You point out. “You can get any girl, and yet you somehow manage to ruin it every single time. Like with Eunha.”

Jungkook winces. The poor Eunha in question is a pretty girl from your chem class, whomst Jungkook had somehow managed to charm. From what you know, they had hooked up a handful of times before that fateful night in which Jungkook had abruptly broken things off with her. If you’re being honest, he’s not a total monster. The only thing that seems to scare him away is when a girl asks to cuddle him in the morning or talks about the prospective future together. He doesn’t want to hurt them, he told you once before, and finds it much easier to nip any potential relationship in the bud before it can get too far, too out of control.

“We literally only slept together three times anyway and we never went out,” Jungkook points out. “What’s the big deal?”

A roll of your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. “Yeah, it’s not her fault you’re scared of commitment.”

“Nu’uh,” The boy sulks. “I’m only scared of realistic things, like microwaves.”

A snort bubbles at your lips, and it’s frustrating how adorable he finds the simple action. Rather than entertain the thought of his irrational fear of kitchen appliances (because you’ve heard it all before, and you still can’t find where he was incited with the terror of an exploding microwave), you sit up.

“Jungkook, I don’t even like you like that.”

“I don’t like you like that either. That’s why it’s so perfect!” Jungkook says brightly. “Look, we know each other better than anyone else ever could. We’re already comfortable with each other. We don’t have to go through all that boring small talk. All I’m saying is we could give it a try. No relationship, no emotions, just sex.”

You consider the thought for a moment, weigh the pros and cons in your head.

The cons? He’s your best friend.

The pros? He’s your best friend, and he’s hot.

Truthfully, your slightly buzzed mind can find very little to dissuade you away from the inviting proposition and maybe that’s why you begin to entertain the idea. And, sure, you had just complained profusely about how men sometimes only used you for sex, but it’s not like you don’t have needs too. You just don’t have the gusto in you anymore to spend days on a boy who will only just leave you the moment you let him have sex with you. At least with Jungkook, he’s already offering you a blatant deal of sex only and you know you won’t have to worry about him breaking your heart; and he doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded dreamy post-sex cuddle talk of a future family and babies and a white picket-fence home. It’s a win-win for the both of you, really. Or maybe you’re just telling yourself that.

“How would we even start?” You ask finally. “I mean… Do you even find me attractive enough in that way?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook hardly bats a lash. He meets your stare, licks slowly at his lower lip. When he sees the cross look of disbelief scrunching at your face, he hastens to respond. “I’m not blind. You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, Y/N.”

“But physically attractive? I’m no hot girl Eunha.”

“If I wanted Eunha, I’d be between her legs right now. Y/N, of course I think you’re attractive.” A gentle sliver of a smile dances upon his lips. He leans his head on the back of the couch, eyes fluttering over your appearance shortly. “I’ve always liked your lips, and your eyes. Think they’re beautiful.”

Suddenly, you’re flustered again. The room feels as if it’s getting increasingly warmer, yet you seem to want to bask in the feeling and attention a little longer. “That’s too sentimental.”

“It’s true though.”

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve always had a thing for idiots,” You jest playfully. “Jerks, too. Playboys who are too hot for their own good.”

“Ah, and I love it when you talk dirty to me.” A cheeky grin tugs at his lips as he clutches at his heart over his chest. “It’s a good thing I like it a little too much, knowing you’ll always keep me in check.”

But then the mirth seems to fade from your mind long enough for you to hum aloud pensively, “And I’ve always liked your eyes. I’ve never seen such big eyes before. Sometimes, if I look long enough, it’s like I can see the stars in them.”

As you’re speaking about them, his irises glisten magnificently. He bites at his lip now, as if to hide the way his soft smile turns sheepish. “I like your bum.”

“Really? I always worry it’s too flat.”

“Are you kidding? Your ass is a fucking god-send. It’s hard not to stare when you wear leggings sometimes,” Jungkook admits, earning a small giggle from you. “And I like your boobs. I’ve always wondered…” He trails off abruptly, shaking his head. He shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to stop.”

Silence saturates the room now, settling comfortably between the two of you. He wonders what you’re thinking, and you wonder if he can hear your heart hammering against your chest. Perhaps on any other day when you were of sound mind, you could find a plethora of reasons as to why sleeping with your best friend was a terrible idea. But being that you were slightly tipsy, and Jungkook isn’t far off, you can find not one fault, except for maybe how tragically hot Jungkook looks sitting across from you and how he’s never been yours, at least in that way. Would it be so wrong to try just once?

You shift then, pushing yourself to your knees if only so you can worm your way towards him before swinging one leg over his. You settle back on his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He can feel your core press against the inside of his thigh, just where his dick is nestled and he has to bite back a moan. His eyes are wider than usual, as if believing the moment to be surreal, though something sultry threatens to darken them.

“Y/N…”

The excitement crackles through your veins like electricity. You’ve never been in such a compromising position with Jungkook before, and you wonder if it should be concerning just how much you’re enjoying it. It almost feels as if time slows down, every second dragging on, yet he can’t look away. His hands come to tug at your hoodie (that he’s almost positive was his once upon a time before you nicked it from his closet) and you meet him part way, replacing his efforts as you pull it up and off your body. Then, you’re sitting back on his lap in your full nude glory, chest bare and right in his face. He eyes the swell of your breasts, the perk of your nipples. Of course you’re not wearing anything beneath your hoodie ━ and, god, he loves it.

“Touch me?”

Your voice comes to him in an almost dream. You reach for his hand then, your palm soft around his knuckles and the tattoos that ink his skin. It’s the same hand of which he wears the other half to your pair of friendship bracelets in one of his favourite colours of red, decorated with little pink hearts. It came in a matching set of two (yours in your own favourite colour, currently on the wrist of the hand you’re using to guide Jungkook’s), cute little macrame braid ones with hearts woven into the design that you had pointed out one day while you were both at the mall and he had bought without any hesitation mostly as a joke but resulted in both of you wearing them on a daily basis.

Now, all he can do is continue watching you with bated breath as you guide his hand right where you both want him. He comes to cup the underside of one of your breasts, your hand over his pressing his fingers tighter together until you can feel some sort of pleasant pressure. And, just like that, something feral and needy seems to snap within him. His hand slithers from your grasp if only so he can flick his thumb across your nipple, mesmerized by the softness of it. He’s only ever seen you naked once before and it was fleeting. You were both drunk, skinny dipping in a lake with a handful of other friends, but it had been too dark to notice much else. But now? Now, he can see all of you and the sight strikes a chord right down to his dick.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Jungkook groans.

“Koo.” The cute little nickname you had given him sounds dirty now as it slips from your lips in a moan. “Too sentimental.”

But Jungkook isn’t listening because you really, really, really are so beautiful. He bows his head to your chest, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. He murmurs something against your chest that sounds akin to, “We can take things slow.”

“Slow…” Your head is spinning, but it’s a delightful sensation. Something hard pokes against your ass now, and the adrenaline only seems to build within you. It’s odd how everything feels so foreign ━ exploring his body and these newfound feelings like the uncharted territory it is ━ yet secure and safe at the same time. As if you know what to do next, where to touch next, how to move, your bodies almost fitting together like pieces to a puzzle. “Y-Yeah, I like that. Can I move?”

“Fuck, yes, please,” he growls. He’s much too busy nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin on your chest, teeth tugging at your nipple.

You hurry to obey, giving a small experimental swivel of your hips that almost immediately has the both of your inhaling a sharp breath of air. His dick strains against his sweatpants, the material doing very little in protecting him against you. Your core throbs as you rub yourself on him.

“Like this?” You rasp.

“Yeah, just like that.” Jungkook’s head rolls back onto the couch, his eyes squeezing shut and his blonde hair spilling into his eyes. He clenches his jaw, the nerves fluttering in the corner, as pure euphoria riddles his features. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so sexy. “Fuck, we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Yeah,” You agree, breathless. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

“Thank god.” The sigh of relief that emits from Jungkook startles even him but, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t register how any of this could be a mistake. “Ah, shit━ Faster━”

“Mmm, Koo━” You whimper as you quicken your pace, the vulgar harbored thought of his dick in you thrilling you to no end.

“Fuuck, I’ve never heard you sound like this before. So needy, so desperate,” Jungkook grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. And it’s all because of him, the way you’re feeling. He’s never wanted to hurry to please you faster, itching to tear you apart if he’ll get to hear those noises from you again and again. “I━”

He’s gonna cum, and he’s not even in your pussy. What’s gotten into him?  

He presses you a little harsher against his dick, sitting up straighter so that his chest is pressed flush against yours. He leans forward, lips chasing after yours, before you pull back just enough sluggishly to press your finger to his mouth.

“Uh uh. No kissing,” You rasp.

The words process in Jungkook’s head, but the weight of them don’t seem to linger in his daze. He’s far too overwhelmed by you and the way you’re making him feel to even begin to try to decipher why you avoid his mouth and so, for now, he doesn’t care. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your throat. You clutch at his hair, tugging at the roots tight enough for him to moan.

“Nnngh, Jungkook━” You whine. “I’m gonna━ Oh, fuck, Koo━”

And then you’re unravelling, right in his very arms. He holds you close as you tremble and shake, rutting your hips sloppily against his to ride out your high, and Jungkook thinks he can definitely get used to this. The familiar burn forms in his stomach and, without even thinking of it, he comes in the confinements of his pants.

But in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice quite a lot of things. Neither do you.

So, maybe you could both find a hundred and one reasons why having sex with your best friend would surely cross some lines, but the thing with you and Jungkook (and what would eventually blossom into a hubristic relationship of sorts) is that it wasn’t just sex. You would always be comfortable around him, as he would be with you. And nothing could ever possibly get weird between the two of you ━ not when you had both made a promise to each other that it wouldn’t get in the way of your friendship.

Because ━ while, yeah, he’s hot and suffers from fuckboy tendencies from time-to-time and, aside from random late night hookups ━ he was still the same boy that would drag you out at three in the morning to drive to the next city over for a bowl of ramen, who would marathon shows as long as One Piece or Game of Thrones with you, watching as much as you can in one all-nighter; who would come to your dorm, no matter the time of day, the moment you said you were sick or suffering from cramps, piled high with your favourite snacks; who shared a repertoire of silly inside jokes with you that never made any sense to anyone but the both of you; who insisted you both wear friendship bracelets even in college. He would always be an angel to you, treat you well, because you meant that much to him.

A small thought in the back of Jungkook’s head wonders, above all else, if you were anyone different, would he have even bothered suggesting such a ludicrous idea, drunk or not?

Because he’s positive no one else could make him cum in his pants like a horny prepubescent teen ━ no one except for you.

“If we’re really gonna do this, we need to set some ground rules.”

Admittedly, neither you nor Jungkook knew what would happen after Jungkook’s proposition to you. Maybe you were expecting the two of you to pretend as if nothing had ever happened, or laugh it off as something so inconsequential that neither of you should bother worrying about it. Instead, the very next day, you find that you’re back in Jungkook’s dorm. Only this time, you’re in his bed, and he spent the past half hour sufficiently eating you out.

Now, you’ve had an epiphany in the form of Jungkook’s dick, and that is that it’s big.

You’ve seen it before on occasion ━ like when he streaked nude across campus as a dare or when he needed to use your shower because his apartment was under maintenance and he walked out on you in the living room ━ but this is clearly a very different circumstance. All red, swollen, angry tip wet and glistening with precum. You had to brace yourself as he pushed himself into you, cautiously and slowly, enjoying the way you stretch to fit around him. If you had a drunken excuse the night before for loving the thought of getting off with Jungkook, then you surely don’t have one now. It’s a shameless guilty pleasure, you think, that he’s at least indulging in.

“Rules,” Jungkook scoffs now. “You’re such a nerd. Fuck, you feel so fucking good━ You doing okay?”

More than. Your head lolls back against his pillow, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. “Mhm.”

“Want a minute?”

“Maybe.”

Jungkook pauses without any hesitation, gnawing on his lower lip as your walls clench around him so tightly he feels he might fall apart then and there. His hands are on your hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles against your burning skin. A few deep breaths later and you’re probing Jungkook to move again. His hips rut into yours at a leisure pace, and he marvels for a moment at the way his dick disappears into your pussy, slick and wet with your own arousal. The thought of being in you ━ of finally feeling your walls wrapped around him, all wet and snug ━ is enough to make him bust then and there, but he refrains miraculously.

“Holy fuck,” You groan. “Why are you so big━”

Your voice cuts off into a delightful whimper, walls aching around him. Jungkook snorts, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “Nothing sexier than hearing you stroke my ego.”

“Don’t let it get to your already big head,” You retort sluggishly.

“Big head!” he grumbles against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your skin and sending shivers down your spine. “Insult me some more. You know how it gets me going.”

“Oh my god, shut up. Where were we?”

“Rules.”

“Right,” You breathe in a sharp inhale of air as he grinds against your hips. “And rule number one is no kissing. That’s way too intimate.”

Jungkook quirks a brow. “How is kissing more intimate than having my dick in you?”

“It just is.” You refuse to tell him the truth. You poke your fingers at his sides, causing him to jerk against you. “Don’t question it.”

“Fine. Then no sentimental shit in general, like cuddling or pet names,” Jungkook retorts. “And no public displays of affection.”

“Okay,” You nod. “Fuck, Jungkook━”

“God, I love hearing you moan my name,” Jungkook grunts. He watches with fascination the way your face reacts at his every movement. “Too much?”

“No. Kinda hot,” You admit. An abrupt thought pops into your head that has you murmuring hazily, “Oh, and you can’t have sex with me to your sex playlist.”

Jungkook looks appalled. The sex playlist in question is one you’ve heard briefly before, if only because you’ve walked in on Jungkook and his flavour of the month a handful of times one too many times.

“So you’re telling me you don’t want to have the best orgasm of your life to The Weeknd or the Neighbourhood? WAP?” Jungkook asks, wriggling his brows suggestively. “Alanis Morissette?” You have less than half a second to register the 90s pop singer as out of place before Jungkook breaks out into song with a brief rendition of Head over Feet. “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits━!”

Part of you knows he’s joking, but there’s still a small sliver of you that makes you gawk at him dubiously before dissolving into a fit of unabashed laughter. It rumbles against his chest, vibrates his dick in you. “You’re not serious, are you? That’s not actually in your sex playlist, is it?”

He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Guess you’ll never know now.”

Another roll of your eyes makes him snicker. He’s gotten used to your snide remarks, but he’ll gladly keep suffering under them if he gets to wipe that taunting smirk off your face each time with the way his dick makes you feel. You cling a little tighter to his shoulders and muse aloud, “So that’s it then?”

“Yeah━” Jungkook knows you’re referring to the rules and your plan, although it’s getting harder to focus on talking as he continues to grind against you. “And nothing has to change between us, even if we stop. We’re still just two best friends.”

“Yup.”

“Who have sex from time to time.”

“Yeah.”

He can’t help himself. He tries again. “Who might kiss.”

“Nope.” You’re smiling even despite the way you shoot him an aggravated stare first.

“We might?”

“No, we definitely won’t.”

Worth a shot, he thinks to himself. At least you really do always keep him in check.

After all, what are best friends for?

So, maybe a part of you thought the shift in your relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t last very long. A week at most, and maybe Hoseok would find you another pointless let down of a blind date to go on and Jungkook would get horny for some other girl ━ but it’s certainly been more than a week now, and you’ve had sex with him more than two times.

A third, and a fourth, if you’re being blatantly honest, and maybe a few more times after that but you don’t really remember what count you’re both on now which should probably be concerning. Days elapse into days, which turn to weeks, then months. Morning, afternoon, and night.

It’s not as if you hadn’t already spent almost every waking moment with Jungkook but now you had a reason to be at his apartment at any and all hours of the day and not solely for movie watching marathons. You’re positive he’s still having his occasional random flings, though you’re fortunate his commitment issues at least force him to go to their homes rather than his for the most part, so you never really have to witness half-naked girls stumbling out of his apartment just as you’re wandering in. He says it has something to do with how his bedroom is his sacred space, though you think it’s more like he wouldn’t want his hook ups discovering his Overwatch figurines or something (because, before Jungkook’s proposition, you’ve walked in on him once and a girl when they were entangled on the couch in his living room).

But you’ve noticed lately you’re getting too comfortable with your arrangement with Jungkook; too comfortable knowing he’ll be there at the end of a long day to greet you, to please you until you’re crying out his name. Sometimes he tells you about the girls he’s texting, or shows you a picture from a hot girl’s Instagram whose D.M.s he’s just slid into. And sometimes you’re left wondering how often he comes straight to you after hooking up with a random girl.

It shouldn’t matter to you, and you swear that it doesn’t.

Maybe you’re just overthinking things. Hoseok certainly seems to think so, but his judgement wasn’t much to go by.

Because, lately, Hoseok has been encouraging you more and more to give Yukhei (the blind date Hoseok had initially set you up with when you found yourself at Jungkook’s) another chance for two reasons: 1) “Yukhei’s a nice boy,” he had cheerfully reminded you, “he’ll treat you well,” and 2) “Stop fucking your best friend. It’s morally wrong.”

There were many things wrong with his statement, from the fact that you didn’t exactly consider standing up a date as “nice” and that you were also still begrudgingly lamenting the way Hoseok had discovered your recent fling with Jungkook (although, you weren’t being very inconspicuous, having shower sex with Jungkook early one morning when you were certain Hoseok would be spending the day at his fiance’s home instead of yours).

But then you meet Yukhei and you realize that, oh crap, he’s cute. And he’s nice.

As it turns out, after bumping into him one day when you’re with Hoseok lounging on the quad of your campus and he comes bounding over to return a textbook Hoseok had lent him for a specific class, Yukhei is so easily charming. He also gives a pretty valid excuse for flaking on your date, proving that he had to present his dissertation, making you clearly aware that he’s cute, nice, and smart. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t see the appeal, yet his curiosity and intrigue seems to get the best of him.

“So that was your blind date?” Jungkook asks after grabbing your attention on the quad and stealing you away from Hoseok and Yukhei. “Yukhei?”

“You know him?”

“Seen him around,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve never really talked to him. But him? You’re not telling me you’re actually interested in him, are you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” You’re truly just as clueless about your feelings towards Yukhei as Jungkook seems to be. “What’s so wrong about him?”

“He’s━” Jungkook stops. He shakes his head. “Heard he’s got a small dick anyway.”

You shoot the boy a wary look, only to find him grinning deviously at himself. “Maybe he just wants to be friends.”

At this, Jungkook lets out a scoffing sound that borders on disbelieving laughter. “No, I definitely think he wants to have sex with you in his Toyota Camry, Y/N, but what do I know?”

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“No, why would I be jealous?”

You can’t quite tell if he’s angry or not but, then again, why would he be? As far as either of you are concerned, there’s nothing to be jealous of.

So then why does it feel like he’s simply just telling himself that?

“Are you seriously on your phone right now?”

Jungkook asks this from somewhere behind you a handful of days later, a little peeved but most likely because your jarring 8:00 a.m. alarm had roused the both of you violently awake. In his defense, Jungkook is not a morning person.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You’re currently sprawled out on your hands and knees on his bed, phone still in your grasp after having plucked it off the nightstand in haste. Your clothes are scattered across the floor of his room, remnant clues of the night before when he had beckoned you over after hours, and your body is covered in nothing but hickeys and an unbuttoned blue flannel belonging to Jungkook that you had chucked on last night that does nothing in covering up the swell of your breasts which Jungkook is now currently eyeing. “Am I not giving you enough attention? Were you expecting cuddles or something? Thought that wasn’t in the rules.”

“No,” Jungkook huffs. He runs a hand through his long messy hair in an attempt to fix it; he ultimately gives up taming his locks, instead using the hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back into a cute yet sexy little ponytail. As he does so, you notice the red friendship bracelet around his wrist and smile smally. “But my dick could use some cuddles. Preferably with your mouth, but it will also gladly accept your hand.”

Jungkook may not be a morning person but, as you’ve come to realize, his dick certainly is.

It’s painfully obvious too, his hardened length straining against the gray sweatpants he had thrown on at some point. And, god, did he have to wear those? It left little to the imagination, the outline of his length teasing you just enough.

“I should get going,” You say. “I have a test coming up. There’s supposed to be a review session today in class, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Well, you don’t seem like you’re in a rush since you’re still on your phone,” Jungkook points out. “Who are you texting anyway? Yukhei?”

“Anger is an emotion,” You rebuke casually. “So is jealousy.”

Jungkook feigns a look of mock hurt. “I’m not angry or jealous! I’m needy.”

Still, Jungkook reaches out to swiftly pluck your phone from your hands.

“Jungkook━!”

He’s pressed up against your back in an instant, his dick hard against your ass, and he doesn’t move very far even when you twist in your spot in an attempt to grab your phone back. You don’t, and instead you end up on your back with him on his side, propped up on his elbow. You miss when he casts a swift gaze down at your phone, only to see that Yukhei’s chat messages are indeed open, and something seems to gnaw terribly at his gut before he tosses your phone to the side. He’s looking at you now with those big beautiful eyes of his, and you hate it.

“Please?” he beckons. He ruts his hips impatiently but slowly against your leg. He drops his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck, lips dangerously close to brushing against your flesh but he refrains somehow. “M’so hard right now, could probably bust the moment you touch me.”

The thought is tempting, having a helpless Jungkook cumming in your hands. The sight alone has quickly become your favourite thing, helping the frustrated boy get off. Besides, you’re certain you could ask Hoseok for the review notes.

Fuck it, you cave.

You fidget until you’ve pressed him back against the bed and have clambered on top of him, wiggling your way down to fit between his legs. Jungkook is watching you now with a half-asleep expression, though his teeth sink into his lower lip as you pull at his sweatpants until they’re down at his thighs, letting his swollen dick spring free.

“You know━” You hum. You reach out to grab at the base of his cock. “Yukhei wants to hang out, and Hoseok keeps telling me to give it a shot.”

That much is true. Part of you wants to say yes, if only because Yukhei seems promising enough, but the thought alone is enough for you to feel as if you’ve done something horribly wrong to Jungkook.

“Oh.” The word eclipses Jungkook’s mouth in a shallow breath of air. Then, your mouth wraps around the puffy head of his dick, shining with leaking precum that you swallow back, and Jungkook’s reaction is immediate. Head thrown back, face scrunching together, muscles in his toned abdomen flexing as he seizes and grunts aloud. “Oh, fuck━ Well… Are you gonna?”

Jungkook asks the last question with much difficulty, and a part of him thinks it doesn’t all have to do with how you’re making him feel.

“Dunno.” You snort around his dick, and he marvels at how adorable such a lewd action can seem.

You decide to focus on sucking him off because it truly is a sexy sight to see, letting the topic of Yukhei drop. Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind. As you swirl your tongue around his tip and reach up with your free hand to fondle at his balls, his long hair falls into his lashes but he still tries to find you past his wild locks, hooded eyes gazing down at you.  

“Ah, shit━” Jungkook hisses delightfully, hips jerking forward instinctively into your mouth. The faintest hints of a drowsy smirk tug at his lips. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”

Yeah, you think to yourself then, you’re definitely going to ride him later. Screw going to class.

From: Jungkook Sent: 1:05 a.m.

bro i noticed u werent wearing our friendship bracelet while u were giving me head earlier. is everything ok??

You wake in the morning to a single text from Jungkook ━ and one you had not been expecting.

That’s not to say that getting the occasional text message from Jungkook at any and all hours of the day was abnormal, but the extent of his messages sent anywhere past midnight usually always range from something more coherent in the form of “what would u do if i was there rn?” to something exuding typical lazy Jungkook manner with a simple “dtf?” or “send noods lol” to something even more provocatively cryptic such as the eggplant and splashing water (or, as far as Jungkook is concerned, something else entirely) emojis and nothing else, left open for your own interpretation that typically, usually, without a doubt, results in you in his bed and his dick in you. But this seems to be something else entirely.

Unfortunately, Jungkook’s text isn’t the only concern of yours.

Hoseok has spent the better part of the morning giving you a lecture on why having sex with your best friend is bad. He seems so passionate about the topic that you’re certain he would have pulled out a powerpoint at any moment, each slide ending in a picture of Yukhei and why you should maybe try fucking him instead, if you entertained the idea a little longer. Hoseok claims it’s just a harmless date. Yukhei might be a nice boy, but you don’t know how you feel about him. You don’t want to lead him on, and a scary thought points out the fact that maybe, while Yukhei is a nice boy, he isn’t Jungkook.

“I don’t get why you don’t just give Yukhei a chance━” Hoseok is saying now, sat on the couch in your shared apartment with him. “It’s not like you have to marry him. I don’t think one date will hurt━ Aaand, you’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”

The sheepish look on your face is enough of an answer for him. You’ve been anxiously eyeing your phone and the text Jungkook had sent you last that you’ve yet to respond to, even despite being awake for more than a few hours now.

“Yes, I am listening,” You say dismissively. “Something about how one date won’t hurt, but that’s what you said when Yoongi asked you out, and you’re literally engaged now.”

The glistening metallic ring on Hoseok’s finger is evidence enough. The boy looks down at it as if seeing it for the first time, purses his lips, and then nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right. But you’re holding out for Jungkook and for what? He’s hot, yeah, and he’s your best friend, sure, but at the end of the day he’s still just a horny male who wants to stick his dick in anything that moves.”

“Hoseok.” Your grumbling sigh is interrupted by the motion of your phone vibrating against your thigh once more. You peek at the screen fleetingly to see a new text.

From: Jungkook Sent: 2:35 p.m.

send n00ds?

miss ur tits :(

Typical Jungkook.

The text from the night before is all but seemingly forgotten from his mind, and you can’t quite tell if you’re devastated or relieved. You don’t have very long to discern which emotion you’re feeling when Hoseok snatches your phone to look at what’s gotten your attention before exclaiming suddenly, “Aha! See! What did I say?”

“It’s not like that,” You wave Hoseok off. “Jungkook treats me well. He respects me, and I’m comfortable with him.”

“And how long until whatever this is━” He gestures vaguely to your phone as if to point out your relationship with Jungkook, “has to end? Do you really think a pinky promise is going to make sure your friendship with him isn’t totally ruined? I mean, how can you continue being casual friends with someone, see them dating someone else, when they’ve had their dick in you?”

You know it makes sense. Realistically, you either stop sleeping with each other or it potentially develops into something more. But in both circumstances, what were the chances that either of you didn’t get your heart broken? Maybe a part of you was apprehensive of Jungkook finding the “right” person for him one day that has him ending things with you, and while you swear you’d be happy for him, relationships sometimes have a way of distracting people from those already around them. Were you prepared to have someone take him away from you, platonically and whatever it is else that you have with him? Did you really think you could just keep being friends with him, as if nothing ever occurred between you two?

You don’t think Jungkook is bothered worrying about the state of your friendship with him, much less overthinking it like you seem to be. It shouldn’t be a big deal ━ yet why was there still that terrible nagging voice in the back of your mind? Whether or not Hoseok is right, you don’t want to find out. You don’t have feelings for Jungkook anyway.

But your ability to bend at his every will is certainly interesting.

You grab your phone before Hoseok can do any serious damage like unlocking it and responding to Jungkook, clutching it to your chest as you start to cross the living room. The other boy looks at you in bewilderment. “Where are you going now?”

“Where does it look?” You call over your shoulder just before you disappear into the bathroom, and Hoseok deduces all at once that you’re truly a lost cause. “I need to send him a picture of my boobs.”

“He’s totally into you, Y/N.”

Admittedly, there were many mundane but essentially weird things you’ve talked to Jungkook about while having sex. You’ve had many heated debates about everything under the sun from whether or not pineapple on pizza should be illegal to top five betrayals in either movies or animes, to passionate grand philosophical discussions about what exists outside of the universe.

It’s not as if you had been planning on talking about Yukhei to Jungkook when he had invited you over to his apartment late at night after sending your risqué boob picture to him but, like many things in your friendship with Jungkook, it sort of just happened. He had asked you how your day was and you had decided to broach the topic experimentally, though you think deep down you’re doing it on purpose to see if he’d react in any way. What started with you mentioning Hoseok’s adamance and you sort of genuinely asking Jungkook for advice on Yukhei somehow evolved into Jungkook interrogating you on whether or not you’ve hung out with him yet.

“Jungkook. You’re getting off topic,” You admonish him now, as if your own choice of topic is any better when his dick is currently in you.

Jungkook is wedged between your thighs smushed up against your chest, large palms holding you on your ribcage in place beneath him. He’s a comfortable heavy draped over top of you, cock stretching you wide. You can feel his heart hammering against yours and he’s slick with sweat, golden hair clinging to his forehead and in his pretty eyes. You resist the urge to reach out and brush the messy locks away but, again, how would that be any less intimate of an action than what you’re already doing? Another line uncrossed, you suppose.

“How am I off topic?” Jungkook retorts. “You literally just said you can’t tell if he’s into you but he dropped by when you were done class and bought you lunch. You don’t just do that for a girl you don’t care that much about.”

“You buy me lunch, like, every day,” You point out.

“Because you’re my best friend. Of course I care about you,” Jungkook says.

“Ah, Jungkook━” You curse suddenly, grabbing his attention when you shift your weight beneath him. “You’re crushing me. Why’d you stop moving?”

He doesn’t have an answer, if only because he hadn’t even realized he’d stop moving in the first place. Without hesitation, he continues leisurely rutting his hips against yours, grabbing at one of your legs to hook it around his waist. This new angle lets you feel even more of him as he sinks further into you, if that was even still possible, reaching so far into you that you swear it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. Your head lolls back against the pillows, pure euphoria contorting your face so much so to the point that it distracts you entirely from the distant look glazing over Jungkook’s eyes.

“Yukhei definitely wants to bang,” he huffs under his breath.

At once, an exasperated groan fills his ears.

“I can’t believe we’re seriously having this conversation right now,” You roll your eyes, fingers prodding at his sides. “I don’t wanna talk about Yukhei potentially wanting to have sex with me.”

Jungkook’s glad you said it, at least. Though now he’s watching you with hooded eyes as he thrusts into you a little harder, maybe a little intentionally. His indulgent gaze droops to your breasts, admiring the way they bounce beneath him each time his hips make contact with yours. He thinks back earlier in the day to the picture you had sent him which, really, had sparked the mood for the rest of the night.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whines abruptly. His eyes screw shut and brows furrow together as your walls clench around him. He drops his head to bury his face in your chest, lips momentarily wrapping around one of your nipples as he sucks harshly at the soft flesh. When he speaks next, forehead still resting against your collarbones, his voice is a breathless croak, “Well, do you like him?”

“No,” You moan. “Maybe━ Fuck, Koo━ I don’t know.”

“He’s gonna be at that party Tae’s throwing, isn’t he?” Jungkook tries to focus, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so when he’s inching closer and closer to his high. “Shit, ah, Y/N━ Why don’t you try talking to him or something? See how the night goes?”

“He’s nice but I don’t think he’s the one for me,” You admit sheepishly. “I think I’m just gonna end things while I still can, with as little harm as possible.”

“Well, glad that’s settled,” Jungkook mumbles. “Can we please stop talking about Yukhei now?”

You seem to miss the way he clings to you a little tighter, hands flying down to grip at your hips, nails digging crescent moon shapes into your skin. He snaps his hips into yours a little faster this time, your pussy throbbing around him.

“Nngh, Jungkook━”

Your hands fumble to grip at his hair, tugging tightly at the roots and earning a delightful hiss from the boy. Your own mouth drops open in a silent moan and it’s a wonder he doesn’t combust at just how sexy the sight is. He hates how his eyes stay trained on the shape of your lips, the soft plumpness of them. He’s felt them wrapped around his dick plenty of times before but he concedes that it’s probably hardly anywhere near to how it would feel to kiss you. Like actually kiss you, tongue and all.

God, what’d he give just to smother your lips with his.

And, god, he hopes you never find out. He’s positive that thought is far more scandalous alone than anything you’ve ever done together.

You’re writhing beneath him now, hips jutting forward desperately to meet his. “I’m gonna cum, Jungkook━”

“Fuck, yes,” Jungkook growls. “Wanna feel you cream around my cock so bad. Come on, baby━”

In the heat of the moment, you seem to miss the pet name that slurs off his tongue and the sentiment in it. A few more jolting slams of his hips and you’re tumbling over the edge. He has to sputter for air when he feels your pussy wrapping so tightly around him, stuttering in his pace above you if only to watch as you unravel beneath him. Hooded dark eyes glazed over in that perfect fucked out expression he loves so much, teeth biting at your lower lip so hard he wonders if it’ll bruise in the morning.

A sudden thought pops into his head when you’ve settled enough, amongst the blinding pure white of bliss that clouds his thoughts. “Did you get my text by the way? The one I sent last night?”

You gasp for air. The bracelet on your wrist itches at the mention of it, and you’re fortunate you decided to wear it that afternoon before coming to Jungkook’s. “Y-Yeah━”

“Well…?”

“Everything’s fine,” You say this as dismissively as you can. Your core is still vibrating after the harsh impact of your orgasm paired with Jungkook’s swollen length still in you. “I just… I was taking a shower and didn’t want to get it wet. I forgot to put it back on in the morning.”

That’s a lie. You had mostly taken it off as part of an experiment, though it hasn’t answered much. At least Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize that.

“Oh,” Jungkook breathes. A beat of silence passes, before he deadpans cockily, “Wait, you were taking a shower and I wasn’t invited?”

“Oh my god, shut up━” Maybe if he hadn’t just currently driven you to nirvana and back, you’d notice the way the sloppy grin on his face is a simple taunt. But you’re much too distracted to care. Instead, you use your leg that’s still hooked around his waist to gently push and roll him onto his back so that you can straddle his hips. His eyes sparkle mischievously as he watches you waste no time in hurrying to grind against him at an agonizingly steady pace that makes his head spin. “You’re ruining the moment. I’m trying to make you cum.”

A devious cackle rumbles from his chest, albeit a little contented at the same time. Yeah, he definitely likes the sound of that. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

It’s only then that his question comes back into your mind. If he felt the need to ask you again about the bracelet, maybe that meant something after all. At the very least, it means he hadn’t forgotten about it altogether. On the other hand, you wonder how often he had spent thinking, or over-thinking, the issue in the past twenty-four hours, if at all.

Was it wrong to feel some semblance of joy over that potential fact? Probably.

That doesn’t seem to bother you much this time. Not when he’s gazing up at you as if you’re some divine sexy goddess, all his to enjoy. You can’t help yourself; you reach down to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, perhaps all too gentle of an action for best friends.

And he smiles, maybe a little too softly and maybe a little too ardently if you look close enough.

He smiles.

The thing about your supposed “rules” with your relationship with Jungkook is that there might be a few loose ends that neither you nor Jungkook pay much attention to sometimes.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Mostly, the “no public displays of affection” clause is easily disregardable. It’s typically when you’re too drunk to remember it and a bit needy, craving one another’s touch, but those around you never truly seem to care or even notice because, if you’re lucky, they’re equally as smashed. Sometimes the “no cuddles” clause blurs into a gray area where it’s simply just you and Jungkook post-sex, sprawled out in his bed, not necessarily wrapped up in one another’s arms and cooing sweet nothings to one another but giggling at nothing in particular except one another as you bask in each other’s company and nothing more. You suppose some rules are meant to be broken.

For the most part, Jungkook never seems to question the no kissing rule you were so adamant in insisting. Not until one night in which you’re left wondering where things go so drastically wrong. It starts off as normally as any other day with you and Jungkook can, spent in his apartment binge watching movies. You hadn’t expected that night to switch as suddenly as it does when Jungkook shoots you a text earlier in the day asking if you want to come to his for a night of casual drinking as simply “best friends.” But, as always, one thing seems to lead to another, and you can’t get enough of Jungkook. Maybe it’s in the way he holds you a little tighter, the way he tugs you onto his lap on the sofa in his living room, the way he grips your thighs with a certain type of insatiable desire.

“You know…” he hums. “You drive me insane. In, like, the best way possible.”

Part of you realizes his actions even without him seeming to, and the drunken smile on your face remaining frozen in place, a little dumbfounded. “Jungkook…”

“When I’m with you…” He lifts his stare to look at you, but you have nothing to say. Neither does he. Instead, you’re left grinning at one another and suddenly your face is warm. He leans towards you, his nose nuzzling against the side of your throat. Your hands stay threaded in his hair now, and he swears he feels you secure your grip as if to pull him closer.

You can feel his lips brush faintly against your skin, grazing along your neck to the underside of your jaw. Up, up, up, until━

It’s just as his mouth meets with the corner of yours that you register what he’s doing, even in your clouded state. You turn your head just in time, and he comes to an immediate halt, his lips barely making contact with your cheek instead before he pulls away. He doesn’t move very far but you also don’t push him away just yet. Instead, you shift your head to look at him, still inches apart from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He can’t quite tell if you’re appalled or not, an empty expression staring back at him.

“I━ You━” He fumbles over his words, squeezes his eyes shut. He blames it on the alcohol even though his head is swimming with thoughts that seem to only concern you. But then a fierceness seems to stir within him, one that makes his jaw clench as he meets your stunned stare. The question rolls off his tongue without meaning to. “Is this about Yukhei?”

“What?”

“Is that why you weren’t wearing our bracelet the other day?”

The question is so ridiculous, you have to laugh. “What are you going on about?”

But Jungkook doesn’t see what’s so funny and so he tries again, his persistence taking hold. “Is that why you won’t ever let me kiss you?”

You blink. Then, you’re shaking your head at him. Exasperation hangs heavy in your words, shaping in the form of a tired scoff. “You’re not serious.”

You’ve slithered off of his lap before he can even think to stop you ━ but if he had, would you have even stayed? You’re mad, but he doesn’t know why. “No, I wanna know. Because if what we have is already so meaningless, what makes a kiss any different?”

“Jungkook…”

“So I wanna know,” he says, brows unconsciously knitting together. His gaze is searching yours desperately, as if begging for an answer he’ll want to hear. But he knows he’s being an idiot, a small sober part in him makes him realize that. “Humour me. Have you had sex with him yet?”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe that’s what you’re on about.” Suddenly, you’re frowning. Your hardened stare meets the boy’s and the irritation that scrunches at your face makes him wince, but it’s too late for him to take back the damage that he’s done. “Yeah, Jungkook, we fucked in his stupid Toyota that you hate so much and he choked me and I liked it. He did all sorts of dirty things to me. Is that what you want to hear?” The sardonic tone hisses at his ears, but he bites back his words, the sober part in him doing some decent good by shushing him. “No, Jungkook, we didn’t fuck. We haven’t even gone on a date, and I don’t even know if I want to, and you think I’m throwing myself at him.”

“But you wanna.”

“You’re being an idiot,” You admonish. “I’m going home. Talk to me when you’re sober.”

He has just enough time to watch you turn on your heel, march towards his door, when he scrambles to his feet. The weight of his words and actions finally seem to dawn on him, hitting him harshly in the face and in the heart.

“Fuck, wait! Wait━” he gasps.

He chases after you, hand reaching out to press his palm against the door before you can shimmy it open. He’s fortunate when you turn to look at him, though your arms are folded impatiently over your chest.

“You’re right. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” he promises earnestly. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan. “I just… What if we… Shit, what if we stop for right now? Y’know… Hooking up. Whatever this is.”

He gestures vaguely between the two of you with his hands, a wearied look plastering his face.

You hate to admit how his words seem to affect you. They bite at the air, leave you breathless as you gawk at him, but the harsh realization of it all is that you were never his to have and he was never yours. Hoseok had been right when he said these things were bound to come to an end ━ so why did it seem to hurt you so much?

A beat of prolonged silence passes between the two of you. Jungkook runs a hand through his chaotic blonde hair, digging the heel of his palm into his temple as if to rid himself of a headache he’s no doubt sporting. Maybe you’re waiting for a better explanation, but he gives none, and you don’t feel as if you have the right to ask why. He’s not your boyfriend, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s breaking your heart.

Instead, you take a deep breath and say, “Okay.”

“Okay.” It’s all that he says in return.

So then why does it feel like he is?

When Jungkook had promised that if your fling with him ended you would go back to being untainted best friends, he was apparently lying.

A part of you can’t believe the sheer nerve of him to ghost you in his traditional fuckboy ways, and yet he does. You suppose not entirely, at the very least. Part of it ends up with you being even more vexed by his sudden shift in emotion, and the tangible tension that rises between the two of you should have been dealt with properly, yet neither of you do anything about it, leaving your friendship stagnant and stale for a week. After all, how are you really supposed to go back to “just friends” when you’ve seen his dick one too many times?

You refrain from telling Hoseok, if only so you don’t have to hear him tell you he told you so ━ but you also decide to give Yukhei that one chance, and so you think Hoseok wouldn’t mind so much anyway.

Admittedly, when Yukhei asks to hang with you at Taehyung’s eventual party, you aren’t entirely too keen, but you accept it if only because you heard Jungkook will be there too. For the majority of the night, you don’t see the boy, and you spend the hours cozying up with Yukhei in a conversation that dulls you. As it would appear, it seems to bore Yukhei too, but you only notice that when he starts touching you on your waist and the small of your back. There’s a moment where he leans his head close enough to yours that you realize he’s trying to kiss you, resulting in an awkward encounter in which you push him away, palms on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. The answer is obvious enough to you, but you don’t think you should tell him for his own dignity. That, instead, all you can imagine is Jungkook in his place. “Should we get out of here?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to you?”

You’re both fortunate yet horrified when you hear Jungkook’s voice. He’s standing just behind you, his own stare devoid of any emotion, though his brows furrow and his jaw clenches in a signature Jungkook manner that you know means he’s pissed. He hardly acknowledges Yukhei, nodding in his general direction. You don’t remember if you leave Yukhei there or if he leaves, or if Jungkook even gives a poor attempt of an excuse to the boy, but you’ve not so much as uttered a single word or let out an exhalation of air, when Jungkook ultimately pulls you off to the side where it’s just you and him once more.

“I’m not sucking your dick in Tae’s grimy bathroom, if that’s what you want,” You scowl once Yukhei is out of earshot. “You’ve lost the privilege that is my mouth.”

“That’s not━” Jungkook shakes his head, exasperated. “That’s not what I want. I just━ I’ll take you home. Please?”

You know the offer is much more than him simply walking you the route to your dorm, which you already know like the back of your hand. Yet, you don’t argue. Truthfully, it’s a relief when Jungkook lugs you out of the party. The entire venture back to your apartment is treacherous, in the way that you’re left sobering up enough to the point that your dizzying thoughts become more coherent. Hoseok is gone for the weekend at least, spending the days with his fiance, so you don’t have to worry about humiliating yourself in front of your roommate when it comes to Jungkook.

You’ve barely made it through your front door when you’re grumbling aloud, “What do you want, Jungkook?”

“I wanna talk,” he says firmly. “About us. About Yukhei.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” But that’s a lie. Talking to Jungkook, even despite masquerading your annoyance for him, is a blessing in disguise. You’ve missed the idiot, and hearing his voice. “Besides, you told me to give him a chance.”

“And you said you didn’t want to.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Yeah, you sure seemed like you loved it when he was trying to shove his tongue down your throat,” Jungkook retorts bitterly. “C’mon, Y/N. We both know that’s a lie.”

“You know, you’ve been a real dick lately.”

A sliver of a smirk tugs at Jungkook’s face. “I thought you love dick.”

Clearly, his poor attempt at a joke doesn’t land well with you. “Why do you even care so much if Yukhei and I get together? Stop acting so high and mighty and moral, Jungkook. It’s not like you’re some virgin saint. How many times have I heard you talk about all those girls you’ve fucked? And what was I? Just another notch in your belt this whole time?”

“What?” Jungkook gasps now, as if disbelieving you would ever think such a thing. “No! You’re not just another notch. I would never even think about you that way. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else but you this whole time and I easily could have.”

“Wow! Such a martyr,” You remark dryly. When you speak next, you meet his stare with your own crestfallen gaze. “I just want my best friend back.” Your words hurt him more than you think, but he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. “You’re the one who tried to kiss me, then suggested we stop whatever it is we’re doing━”

Jungkook flinches. “I know.”

“Then you ignore me for days even though you promised nothing would change━”

“I know,” he says desperately. He closes the distance between the two of you, yearning to reach out and touch you. Instead, he clamps his eyes shut, trying with all his might to focus when the room feels like it’s spinning.

“And then you get mad when Yukhei tries to make a move. It’s like you’re jealous or something!”

“I am.” He can’t take it anymore. The words tumble from his lips in a rush that he hardly bothers to bite back.

“Why?”

“Because━ Because━” He struggles to form his thoughts into words, stumbling over his sentence. Fuck, he’s never like this. Even you can tell. He grits his teeth next. “I lean in to kiss you and you look at me as if I’m out of my mind. I just don’t get it. You don’t want me to kiss you but you let me put my dick in your ass.”

The taut line of your lip quivers as you break. “That was one time and you didn’t even get all the way in!”

“Y/N.” Jungkook hums now. He’s gazing at you a little softly, reaching out to place his hands on your waist. “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. But lately, when I touch you, I fucking feel so alive and the thought of Yukhei doing anything with you when it isn’t me, who should be with you, makes me want to vomit. And when I wake up in the morning alone, I only want you next to me. And I can’t be the only one feeling that way. If I am, tell me. Right now. Please. I just wanna know why you won’t ever let me kiss you, but you let me do all sorts of things with you. Am I really that repulsive?”

Another moment of silence stifles the room. Jungkook is so close to you now, you can’t help yourself. You reach up to tug at the collar of his shirt, fingers twisting in the material as you lean your forehead out of frustration against his shoulder and he instinctively lets his arms slither around your waist, holding you to him. Then━

“No.”

“What?”

“I only made the rule because I don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it,” You murmur into his chest. “Like really, really mean it. Like I’m more than just a notch in your belt. Because I want to kiss you so badly, and I’m already in love with you but then I’ll really be in love with you and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”

The anticipation kills you, awaiting his response. You refuse to lift your head, until you hear him grumble, “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Me?”

The retort is filled with your typical jestering hostility as you finally look at him. But just as you do so, Jungkook’s reaching out to grasp at your face, rough hands all soft and gentle as they cradle your cheeks, guiding you towards him and smoothing his lips over yours until you melt like putty in his hands.

Kissing Jungkook, you deduce at once, is not at all how you imagined it.

It’s everything and more. You’ve felt his mouth on you before but in much different circumstances. Between your legs, on your throat, down past the valley of your breasts ━ and each kiss then had been feral, sloppy, rough. Now, it’s sweet and tender, the feeling of his lips as soft as how he makes your heart feel. And the butterflies━ god, the butterflies.

Impatient hands tug and pull at one another until you’ve both stumbled into your room and onto your bed. He’s clambered over top of you, lips struggling to not part throughout the whole ordeal, until he’s wedged himself between your thighs.

Only then does Jungkook part from you just enough in the next moment, lips brushing against yours, as he whispers ardently, “I mean it.”

Then he’s kissing the corner of your lips down to the underside of your jaw, his mouth grazing along your skin in a feathery touch. His hands help you shed your shirt, and the bra underneath. “I mean it when I kiss you here.”

Then he drops his head to your neck, kissing at the base of your throat, before nipping at it lightly. “And here.”

Your hands come to thread in his hair, tugging at the roots. He burrows his face lastly in your chest, snatching the nipple of one of your breasts between his teeth. “Here…”

You’re so soft and supple beneath his hands, all his to love and explore.

“I want you, all of you,” he mumbles. “Only you.”

“Oh, Koo…”

A pretty moan tumbles from your mouth, and he could nearly cry. He had surely thought you were far past the point of enraged, far past the point of pensive words shaped in a heartfelt apology to bring you back to him. But then hearing you rasp his name ━ the little cute nickname that only you call him ━ makes him so goddamn remorseful.

He smothers your lips with his once more, groaning into your mouth. “I’m such a fucking dick. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” You whine.

“I’m sorry,” he laments. He bites at your lower lip, suckling against it. “Please let me make it up to you.”

“You already have.”

“But I’ve been such a shitty friend,” he groans. It’s hard to focus when he’s pressing his hips against yours, the forming bulge in his pants straining against the inside of your thigh. “I should’ve known when to stop. I shouldn’t have even suggested the whole thing in the first place, because then I wouldn’t have messed us all up.”

“Jungkook,” Your grip tightens in his hair. “Jungkook━ I want you so bad. Just wanna be yours.”

“Yeah?” His breath is warm as it fans against your neck. You rub your core eagerly against him, throbbing pussy so close to making contact with his dick.

“Yeah,” You mewl.

“What do you want from me?”

“You. Wanna feel your dick in me, please,” Your fingers tug at the top of his jeans, prodding at the muscles on his abdomen. “In my mouth. Can make you feel better, Koo, I promise. Just wanna be your good girl.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”

He lets you push him until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips. Your limbs entangle with his as you shed the rest of your clothes, your own hands wandering up and down the front of his body after he’s tossed his shirt onto the floor. Then he watches as you shimmy your way down his body. You’re so zealous in pleasing him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, head angry and red, dribbling pearly beads of precum down the shaft and over the bulging vein that lines it. You run your thumb over the tip and down, spreading the sticky fluid over him. He grunts in response, nearly jolting at your touch, as his head drops back against his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck,” he growls.

You pump him slowly, taking you time as your closed fist glides up and down his length. He shudders each time your hand reaches the base, and becomes so carried away with your leisure teasing that his eyes are screwed shut and misses the way you dip down to kiss at the tip of his cock. His eyes immediately flutter open, a flustered expression painting his face. You lap again at the head, saltiness coating your tongue, and you let out a simpering moan that has him quivering. And when you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock, sinking down along his length, he swears he’s about to fall apart. Your eyes flicker upward to meet him and the moment they lock, so sexy and dark, he has to look away for fear of busting right then and there. He reclines back against the bed once more, his hand flying out to grab at your hair.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he rasps.

He can feel the curve of your lips against his cock as you suck him off. You do so well, too. Puffing your cheeks out, taking as much of him as you can until it feels as if he’s hitting the back of your throat. Then, you’ll suck at the tip of his cock, tongue swirling rapidly around, as your fist rubs his shaft. It’s a beautiful mix, one that inches him closer and closer to his high, and each time you switch he has to hold it together to not let go so soon. He wants to enjoy it, needs to bask in it. Your pretty mouth doing such sinful things, making him feel as if he were in heaven.

“Shit━” His hips jut forward to meet with your mouth, accidentally hitting the back of your throat without warning. You gag a little, but don’t pull away, and when he apologizes to you hastily, you only moan in response. A thought pops into his head that has him beckon aloud, “Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Huh, baby?”

You hum in approval, eyes shimmering with glee.

So, he plants both hands in your hair, grabs at the sides of your head, and as you hollow out your cheeks, he bucks into your mouth. He does it again and again, listening to your crescendoing mewls of delight, forming a sticky mess of drool and cum that spills onto your chin.

“God, you’re so good,” Jungkook grunts. He’s a complete wreck, eyes screwing shut, blonde tresses spilling into his lashes. The muscles in his abdomen twitch with each sharp inhale of air he takes, so mesmerized by the shape of your pretty mouth around his dick, like you were made for him. “Such a good girl, huh?”

He fucks himself into your mouth roughly, frantically. Tears start to prick at your eyes from holding your breath, yet you keep yourself together just a little longer for him, lashes fluttering shut tightly.

“All mine too,” Jungkook hisses. “Wouldn’t let Yukhei do this to you, would you? Fuck, I’m━”

With your head left immobile stuck in his grasp, you hum in disapproval instead. You know he’s close when you start to hear him panting breathily. When he cums, it’s with a fractured whine and in short hot bursts onto your tongue and down your throat. You swallow as much as you can and, when he parts from you with a resonating lewd pop, you wipe away with your knuckles at the rest of his cum leaking out of the corner of your mouth and onto your chin. Dark hooded eyes meet with yours, a mischievous glint captivating them. You crawl over to him, straddling his hips once more, chasing his mouth with yours. Your own lips are so wet, coated in saliva and cum, bruised plump, but yet you’re smiling so innocently past the way he can taste himself on his tongue.

A dazed thought pops into your head that has you murmuring wistfully against him, “Say it again. I like hearing you call me baby.”

“Hmm? What about when I call you my good girl?” Jungkook nips at your lips. He grasps at your waist, flipping you over until you’re on your back beneath him. “You treat me so well, baby; you’re my only girl, you know that.”

A contented sigh sounds from you as you rut your hips in thinning desperation to meet his, so close to rubbing against his dick nestled against his thigh. He licks at his fingers hastily, reaching between the two of you to press against your clit, rubbing leisurely at the soft bundle of nerves. He’s learned how to navigate your body after months of supposed emotionless fucking, but now? Now, he felt as if his heart may just burst through his chest. Every reaction you make to his every touch ━ the needy plea to have him make you his, call you baby ━ makes him want to see more, and more.

“Am I?” You ask hoarsely. He grasps at his dick, guiding his tip to your core, so slick and wet, glistening with your own arousal. As he pushes himself in with a hiss, he watches as you contort beneath him. “Nnngh, Jungkook━”

“Fuuck,” he groans. He sinks into you, spreading your thighs further and further apart, until his hips make contact with yours. His mouth attacks yours with a feverish passion, the rumble of his moans and your whimpers muffling against one another. Then, he remembers to answer your awaiting question, barely audible between the way his tongue lavs at yours. “You are. I’m so fucking in love with you. But I don’t deserve you.”

Your hands tug impatiently at his hair. “Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true,” he hums. He’s quick to start rutting at your hips in a steady yet agonizing pace, dick burrowing into your pussy as your walls throb and shake. He can’t help but watch, mesmerized as always by the way his length slips past your folds and disappears into you. Again, and again, and again, so lewdly destroying your pretty cunt. “Just want Yukhei to touch you all over instead, don’t you?”

“No,” You croak.

You spread your thighs instinctively wider apart, allowing him to sink even further into you until it feels as if he’s hitting you so far in your stomach. Each roll of his hips is punctuated by the crude noise of skin against skin, sending you spiralling.

“Want him to do all sorts of dirty things to you, huh?”

“N-No. Fuck, Jungkook━ Harder, please━”

“That’s what you said,” Jungkook retorts. Still, he listens to your pleas, snapping his hips into yours roughly enough to send you jolting back on the bed. His hands start to roam your body, pinching at your hips, then grasping ferociously at one of your breasts. “Want him to fuck you in his car, right?” His palm feels like fire as it slides up past your collarbones to your throat. “Want him to choke you.”

His hand comes to wrap around the underside of your jaw on your throat, thumb and index finger pressing against the pressure points there. He squeezes, though with barely any force, just enough to feel your rapid pulse beneath his digits in a way that makes you so suddenly hyper aware of everything he’s doing to you. Cock stretching you wide, palm heavy around your throat, mouth folding over yours. So caught up in the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling, you can’t tell if he’s genuinely upset with himself, though you suspect part of him is. You can sense it in the way he clings to you a little tighter, can see it laced within his dazzling pupils.

Jungkook huffs, hair flopping into his eyes as he grits his teeth and ruts his hips faster into you if only to see more of your pretty little reactions. Your jaw unhinges at the feeling, head falling back onto the pillows. “He could probably treat you nicer too.”

You shake your head wildly, fingers digging into the skin on his shoulders. “Just want you, Koo.”

“Still?” he asks. His grip on your neck fastens a little more, pure euphoria riddling all your senses and making you writhe beneath him. “God, you’re such a dumb little slut, aren’t you?”

You nod in your groggy exhaustion, the familiar burn coiling in your stomach, making your toes curl.

Jungkook feels your own high approach. Your walls are clenched so tightly around him, he has to sputter for air. “Could he make you feel like this?”

“No, Koo,” You whine. “Only you.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook growls. “Good girl. Gonna cum around my dick like the good little slut you are?”

Your hips ricochet upwards to meet his, relentless pounding into your core. “Please, please━”

Jungkook quickens his pace until you’ve deteriorated into absolute shambles, whimpering his name after each thrust. You tumble towards your high, cuming around his length as he burrows it into you again and again, and all he can think is mine, mine, mine. As you unravel beneath him, he slides his hand off of your throat and slithers it underneath you and around your waist, hoisting you slightly enough off the bed so that he can reach his own orgasm. He’s a little more frantic now, sloppy and restless as he pummels into you.

“Shit, baby━” he cries out. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good━”

As you come down from your high enough, you somehow manage to murmur drowsily, “Cum in me, Koo. Wanna feel it.”

You grab at his face, pulling him down to catch his lips on yours, and the thought is so tempting he can’t refuse. He gets so lost in your lips, cuming with one final slam of his hips into yours and a chorus of curses mingling with your name in whimpers. He rides out both of your highs with a few half-hearted thrusts, more concerned with kissing you in useless open-mouthed kisses as your own mouth parts with one last weary moan while he fills you up.

When he’s spent, he collapses against your chest, and you collapse onto the bed. It’s quiet long enough for the both of you to calm the shrill beat of your hearts when you feel Jungkook stir, moving to part from you, pulling his dick from your swollen pussy and planting a lingering peck on your cheek. He disappears momentarily but returns a few seconds later, towel in hand which he uses to wipe at your core now leaking with his cum and your heart croons at all his tender touches.

It makes you realize all at once that, god, yes, you’re so in love with your idiot best friend and he’s so in love with you.

“Jungkook.”

He turns to look at you, an adoring smile dancing upon his lips when he sees your own radiant beaming face. You beckon him over and he relents, letting you pull him into your arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps his own arms around you to tug you closer to his side. As your fingers come to rake through his sweaty hair, he cranes his neck to follow your hand and hear him coo against your neck, “That feels so good.”

A sudden thought crosses your mind that has you smirking smally to yourself. “Are we… Are we cuddling? Jungkook, I thought you didn’t like cuddling. Said it was, and I quote, sentimental bullshit.”

“I never liked it because it wasn’t with you. Didn’t wanna waste my time on someone that wasn’t you,” Jungkook hums, matter-of-fact. You can tell he’s a little embarrassed at the way you so casually taunt him about such an obvious fact, though he’s fortunate you can’t see him smiling like a complete fool. “And I wanna do all that sentimental bullshit with only you. Now, shush━” He scolds you playfully. “M’so tired and I just wanna hold you tight.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Your heart leaps in your chest. “Just promise me one thing?”

It’s only then that he lifts his sleepy gaze to find yours, apprehensive of any potentially looming severity in your words. “Anything.”

Instead, all he can find is the way you trace your finger along the details of his face, from his nose, to his cheekbones, down to the freckle under his lip with the hand that sports your friendship bracelet. “In the morning, when we wake up, you’ll still be here to hold me tight. And every other morning after that.”

His smile widens even more, if that was even possible. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. But━”

“But?”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

His eyes sparkle cheekily. “Kiss me.”

So, you do, again and again and again; and Jungkook thinks, yeah, he certainly can get used to this.

It takes you a month to cave in to Jungkook’s incessant pleas to fuck you to his sex playlist. You do it mostly to humour him, though part of you is a little bit intrigued at the thought.

Stowed away in his room, he eats you out to the choruses of sultry The Weeknd and raunchy Ariana Grande songs, fucks you to the likes of the Neighbourhood and Kim Petras while you’re on all fours, and you’re only half-paying attention to the music until you hear it. Admittedly, you almost completely miss it but you blame Jungkook and the way he’s making you currently feel, sprawled out beneath him, chests pressed flush against one another in a sweaty, sticky mess, breathy and glorious moans of your name filling your ears when━

“I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again━”

The dulcet chime of Alanis Morissette thrums about the room, a complete and utter shift in contrast in the atmosphere that has you immediately pausing.

“Jungkook.” But he knows what you set out to say even before you do, judging by the tone in your voice and the stifling smirk on his face. You gawk at him, biting at your lip to hide your laughter but you fail miserably. “You weren’t joking?”

He shrugs innocently, leaving you just as dumbfounded as you were two seconds ago. Instead, he says, “Gotta do what I promised then, don’t I?”

You quirk a brow. “What was that exactly?”

“Gotta give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“If you can do that to cheesy 90s pop, I’ll have your actual babies, Jungkook.” The effort is endearing and impressive, to say the least.

A roll of your eyes is met with a taunting roll of his hips into yours that wipes the jest off your face immediately. He grins like a madman, uttering a little stupidly, and a little ardently, “Say no more.”

Because, all things considered and joking aside, he wants it with you ━ the dazed daydreamy talk of a future together and kids, friendship bracelets, and cuddles in the morning. Because you mean the world to him and more. Because you’re his best friend, and he’s so madly in love with you.

Because he wants it all with you.

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

#btsbookclub #btsguild #bangtanhq #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts #bts smut #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook imagine #jeongguk smut #jeon jeongguk smut #jeon jungkook smut #bangtan smut #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts oneshots

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

#IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY WRITTEN THIS #obey me #my writing #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #posts

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's been more like a 'Choose Your Own Adventure'!" A Rufly Playlist

Finally, a use for my Dad(™) music taste! I threw in a few live recordings/rough sessions because that’s rock and roll, babey. YouTube link here

image sources: (x) (x) (x)

American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

If you think this isn’t a rufly song, then idk what to tell you.

And for one desperate moment there / He crept back in her memory / God, it's so painful when something that is so close / Is still so far out of reach

Light My Fire - The Doors

Making this playlist was fun because I got to imagine a lot of precanon Rufus/Lily, and how they came to be. And like, I can see Rufus covering a LOT of these, yk?

The time to hesitate is through / No time to wallow in the mire

Funny Feelin’ - Langhorne Slim

I can also see Rufus actually writing some of these. Like this one!

Well, I got my eye on you, baby / And I know I ain't the only one / But if you just say maybe / My lonely days would be done

Superstar - tswift

If you don’t project onto at least one tswift song can you even call it a ship playlist?

And I knew from the first note played / I'd be breaking all my rules to see you / You smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row / Scream your name

Lay, Lady, Lay - Bob Dylan

Tour life vibes

His clothes are dirty but his, his hands are clean / And you’re the best thing that he’s ever seen

Fire - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Your kisses they burn / But your heart stays cool

Fooled Around and Fell in Love - as performed by Morgan James

Because Lily Rhodes really did fuck around and find out.

Free, on my own is the way I used to be / Ah, but since I met you baby, love's got a hold on me

Don’t Let Me Down - The Beatles

Nothing says Lily & Rufus like a Beatles deep cut.

I'm in love for the first time / Don't you know it's gonna last

Shadows of the Night - Pat Benatar

80s rock vibes, babe!

You can cry tough baby, it's all right / You can let me down easy, but not tonight

She - as performed by She & Him

She may be the love that cannot hope to last / May come to me from shadows of the past

Can’t Buy Me Love - The Beatles

Tell me that you want the kind of things / That money just can't buy / I don't care too much for money / Money can't buy me love

Second Hand News - Fleetwood Mac

It’s breakup chapter time, y’all

I know there's nothing to say / Someone has taken my place

Hungry Heart - Bruce Springsteen

I met her in a Kingstown bar / We fell in love I knew it had to end / We took what we had and we ripped it apart / Now here I am down in Kingstown again

Piece of My Heart - as performed by Big Brother and the Holding Company

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby / Well, you know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good

Love Really Hurts Without You - Billy Ocean

In my head, this is the “Lily and her cavalcade of failed relationships post-Rufus” montage song

You walk like a dream and you make like you're queen of the action

Halls - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

This is the “Rufus touring post-Lily” montage song

Thought a broken heart could write a perfect song / And it did and I was right so now you're gone

Mulholland Drive - The Gaslight Anthem

Okay so we all know about the Dair & Rufly parallels, and this song nearly ended up on that playlist, but the vibe didn’t quite fit. And I think, in my heart of hearts, that this song (though probs more punk than Lincoln Hawk sounds) reads like Rufus could have written it. And there are lines that are so evocative of both Dair & Rufly like I still remember holding you, just out of sight of her - like! That’s Valentine’s day 2012 amirite??? And: But it scared you, love, to need someone, so you killed it all instead. And the imagery of Mulholland Drive with Lily being from LA...Anyways this song is one of my all time favorites.

Would you miss me if I was gone and all the simple things were lost? / Would you ever wait on me to say / Oh that I’d just die if you ever took your love away

Malibu 1922 - COIN

You're some old man's new trophy / Locked up in some house in New Jersey / Now money's not a problem / But 20 years it seems you've forgotten

How’s the World Treating You - Elvis Presley

Pilot Rufly vibes, but sad!

Every sweet thing that mattered / Has been broken in two / And I'm asking you, darling / How's the world treating you?

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues - The Gaslight Anthem

Pilot Rufly vibes, but sexy!

Can I get a witness, pretty baby? / I still love Tom Petty songs and drivin' old men crazy

It Ain’t Me Babe - Bob Dylan

“You made a choice to be Lily Bass, and we both need you to go do that.”

Go lightly from the ledge, babe / Go lightly on the ground / I’m not the one you want, babe / I will only let you down

Harvest Moon - Neil Young

It’s about the lovers to strangers to hostile acquaintances to friends to lovers again.

When we were strangers / I watched you from afar / When we were lovers / I loved you with all my heart

Home From Home - Roo Panes

“Well, it’s Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t think of another place that felt more like home.”

Because I'm starting to realise the question worth asking is, who? / I'm starting to realize the question worth answering is you

You Got Lucky - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

I mean. I mean they do fight a lot.

If you don't feel complete / If I don't take you all the way / Then go

Are We Free? - Mick Flannery and Susan O’Neill

I like how this whole song is a dialogue, but always comes together at the chorus

Are we free to understand / or bound to repeat again / all the wars of before?

The Bones feat. Hozier - Maren Morris

“The king and queen of reconciliation” - Dan Humphrey

No, it won't always go the way we planned it / But the wolves came and went and we're still standing

Songbird - Fleetwood Mac

They didn’t break up, what are you talking about?

And I love you, I love you, I love you / Like never before

Beginning to Feel the Years - Brandi Carlile

And I'm beginning to feel the years / But I'm going to be okay / As long as you're beside me--along the way

Call on Me - Big Brother and the Holding Company

Baby, when you're down and feel so blue / Well, no, you won't drown, honey, I'll be there too

Lily - Benjamin Gibbard

It was too perfect. I had no choice.

Lily is a big brass band who fills the air with song / Lily is a destination and she's where my arms belong

Hard Feelings - Brian Fallon

And the time used to stop in her hands / I could feel it go hesitant / When it rained in Manhattan / We took shelter in the spare room at the Grand

#rufus x lily #lily x rufus #rufly #gossip girl #playlist #source: ggcaps #i swear I've been meaning to post this before the asks I just got today

[your-eternal-muse]

Wish I Were....

Heather Series Chapter 12 (FINAL PART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Bonus!:Readers Card Confession Bonus!:To Hold On, To Let Go, Spencers take Bonus!:Series Playlist

Summery: Reader no longer wishes she were someone else

Words: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Description of Birth, just pure, tooth aching fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Y/N: This is it y’all. This is the final chapter of the Heather's Series. I started this journey a little over a month ago, and my god, has it been amazing. I never thought it would pick up the traction it did, and I am so glad I decided to start posting in the first place. I’m gonna take a short break from posting any writing just to recuperate and stuff, but it won’t last longer than a week, and I will still be interacting on the platform itself. I want to thank every single reader who has liked and/or reblogged my work. It means so much to me, and I would not have gotten this far without your support. I love you all with all of my heart. There will be one more bonus “chapter” that I will be posting within the next couple days, but it’ll be mostly headcanons, and answering any questions you may have about the series. I hope the ending is worth it. 

With love, your eternal muse,

Frankie <3

~~~~~

I used to be a night owl.

I used to live in the night, sit under the stars and soak it all up.

I used to not go to bed until hours after the sunset, perfectly content to not waking up until hours after it had risen.

Now, I’m lucky to sleep for a few hours between dusk and dawn.

But I’m okay with that.

The ringing of trembling tears echoes through my ears, and I stir awake.

I rub my face, looking at the clock as I push back the comforter.

4 am.

Oh goody.

“I’ve got her baby, go back to sleep.”

Spencer whispers in my ear, planting a kiss on my shoulder, and I’m not one to argue.

I fall back into the pillows, pulling the blanket back up to my chin, my eyes closing without much resistance.

I wake an hour late, expecting to feel his body warmth against my back.

I turn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, realizing that the blanket is still pulled back from when he got up the hour before.

Oh dear lord please tell me she didn’t get sick.

I climb out of bed, padding down the hallway towards the soft glow of light emitting from her room.

I pause at the doorway, watching as he holds her close to his chest, a smile draped across his face.

I can’t help but stand and watch as he sways back and forth, watching her sleep in his arms.

I notice her tiny hand is clasped around his ring finger, the gold of his wedding band glowing in the dim light.

I love that ring on him.

I never thought I’d be the one to put it on him.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

Why am I so nervous?

He’s not going to leave me stranded.

Right?

Jesus, get a grip, y/n.

“Are you ready y/n?” Hotch walks around the corner, fixing his cuff links as he walks up to me.

I take a deep breath in, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to throw up.

“Yep. I’m ready, I just….” I fan myself. “Is it normal to feel like you’re going to pass out on your wedding day?”

He smiles, coming forward and taking hold of my hand. “It is. And I guarantee you, he’s worse than you are.”

I laugh, just imagining the state he’s in.

He hasn’t seen me in three days, since I’m a stickler for tradition.

It was my bachelorette party, than his bachelor party, and now here we are.

“When Haley and I got married, I was a nervous wreck. I don’t think I took a normal breath until hours after just because I was so worried about everything going to plan.”

He brushes some of the curls framing my face out of my eye sight.

“But, when I met her eyes, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It was just us, and I knew, at that moment, that everything would be okay.”

I nod, exhaling. “Okay. I’m ready.”

He loops my arm through his, turning to the closed doors where my future waits for me.

“Thank you, Aaron. For giving me away. You’re the closest thing to a father I’ve got.”

He pats my hand. “It’s my honor, y/n.”

I hear the start of the music, and my heart jump starts. 

I grip his arm, trying to control my breathing. 

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.”

The doors open, and for a moment, I panic.

But then my eyes meet his.

And everything else disappears.

His hands are clasped in front of him, and I see him look me over, taking in everything.

Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and god, I never realized how much I missed him when he’s gone.

We reach the altar, where a proud Rossi stands, and Hotch hands me off with a kiss to my cheek.

I hand JJ my flowers, turning clasping Spencer's hands in mine.

When my hand touches his, my breathing returns to normal.

However, before I even notice, JJ is handing me a folded piece of paper that holds my vows.

Weddings always seem longer when you’re not in them.

I unfold the paper, clearing my throat.

“I don’t have an eidetic memory, so I need this so I don’t make a fool of myself.”

A couple laughs from the crowd.

Okay, here goes nothing.

“The first time I saw you, you were sitting at your desk, while Derek and JJ sat around you, watching you explain the scientific inaccuracies of Star Wars.”

He laughs, and Derek pats his shoulder from behind him.

“I was awestruck to say the least. The way your eyes lit up with excitement, how your hands couldn’t stay still.”

I take a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I fell in love with you at that moment. But I knew I was done for when you looked at me for the first time.”

Rossi produces a tissue from his pocket, and I laugh, accepting and blotting at my tears.

“You are my best friend. You are there for me in my darkest times, and are often the cause of all my light ones. You hold me when I cry, and you laugh when I’m angry at something stupid. You never make me feel stupid. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.”

Christ, why was this so hard?

“I love you. And I promise to cherish you, and not get annoyed when you ramble on about god knows what, because I love to listen to you talk. I promise to never make you feel like you don’t matter, because you matter so much. I promise to love you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, until the end of time itself. I choose you, forever and always.”

I fold the paper up again, dabbing away my tears.

“Well, look at that, I still made a fool of myself.”

More laughs, and I hear a few sniffles here and there. 

Spencer wipes his own eyes. “I don’t know if I can top that.”

I giggle.

He goes into his jacket, and pulls out a white envelope, and my face scrunches in confusion.

“It’s not what you think it is.” He whispers.

He opens it, pulling out a car, and begins to read from the inside.

“You told me once, in a card similar to this one, that the moment you admitted to yourself that you loved me, was on a road trip to visit my mom. I thought it fitting that I tell you that, that was the moment I admitted to myself that I loved you in the same way. So here we are.”

I bring a hand up to my mouth, covering the ugly sobs that threaten to spill out.

“We had only known each other for a month, but you were easily taking over every brain cell in my mind. I was terrified of you saying no, but I asked anyway. Those two weeks were some of the best of my life. I fell in love with your laugh, your smile, the way your hair looks in the sunlight. I fell in love with you from the driver's seat and I’ve loved you ever since. You deserve to be reminded of that every day for the rest of your life. I promise to hold and cherish the heart that you have given me. I promise to catch you, every time you run away. I promise to protect you with my life. You mean everything to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you. I love you, forever and always.”

He closes it, and it takes a moment for me to gather myself.

“I promise I didn’t look at your vows before writing mine.”

I laugh.

Rossi clears his throat. “The rings please, Henry.”

Henry walks forward, our rings sitting on the pillow as he smiles at us. 

“Thank you buddy.” I say, taking hold of Spencer’s between my fingers.

“Alright. Y/n, repeat after me. I, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid, to be my husband.”

I repeat the words, a smile growing bigger and bigger on my face.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until the end of time.”

Can I kiss him yet?

I say the words, like casting a spell, before slipping the golden band onto his finger.

Rossi repeats the phrase, and Spencer’s smile is as big as mine, if not bigger.

“Until the end of time.”

He delicately slips the ring on my finger, and my heart starts pounding.

“One more question for each of you. I promise, we're almost there.”

He smiles at each of us, before turning back to me.

“Do you, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Not even a question.

“And do you, Spencer Reid, take Y/n Y/l/n as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

I start bouncing on my toes, too excited to care.

“Then it is my great pleasure and honor to pronounce you, husband and wife.”

He turns to Spencer. “You may now kiss the bride.”

He doesn’t hesitate, cradling my face in his hands as he places his lips on mine.

It’s just me and him, in an empty room.

I move my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

It’s only when we break, that I remember people are here, and the room is filled with applause.

With our hands clasped together we walk back down the aisle, and I swear I am never going to be this happy ever again. And that’s okay.

My eyes fall from his arms, to the dresser sitting next to her crib. 

The top is covered with photos, personalized trinkets, and books. 

One picture is framed with her name in gold lettering down the side.

My first sonogram.

Through the glass I can see wrinkles in the film.

Spencer carried it with him until the day she was born.

He had always mentioned how he wanted to have kids someday.

It didn’t make me any less nervous to tell him, though.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Is this Mrs. Y/n Reid?”

I stop writing, my pen mid stroke on my paper.

“This is she.”

“Hello! This is Nicole calling from United Health with the results of your pregnancy test.”

Jesus that was fast.

“Oh! That was quicker than I expected.”

I set my pen down, closing my file, pushing some hair behind my ear, looking around to see if anyone was in ear shot.

They weren’t.

“We get that a lot. But, I’d like to say congratulations! You are pregnant!”

I stop breathing for a moment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Thank you!”

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

“You’re so welcome! Congratulations again! Have a great rest of your day!”

I hang up, still trying to grasp the words that have just been spoken to me.

I’m pregnant.

I’m fucking pregnant.

Holy fuck.

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

I snap out of my daze to see Spencer standing beside my desk, a look of skeptical worry on his face.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. Um…”

I have to tell him. I can’t keep this a secret from him, even if I wanted to try and surprise him.

I stand, running my hands over my pants.

“Okay, somethings wrong. You do that when you’re nervous.”

I can’t help but laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Nothings wrong, Spence. Um, I just got a call from United Health.”

He’s confused, setting the file in his hand, down on my desk.

“Why would United Health be calling you?”

There are days when I can't believe he has an I.Q. of 187.

“I went in yesterday, to get a test done. I’ve been gaining weight, and I’ve been getting sick in the mornings. I also skipped my last period.”

I can sense the wheels beginning to turn in his head.

“Wait. Are you…”

I nod, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Spencer.”

It takes a moment for the words to register in his brain, but then he’s yelling in excitement, throwing his arms around my waist, picking me up and spinning me around.

He sets me down, his eyes red rimmed, his smile one I will never forget.

“You’re pregnant. Oh my god we’re having a baby.”

His hands are placed on either side of my face, and I can’t help but laugh at his infectious excitement.

“Who’s having a baby, now?”

Derek walks up, and Spencer turns, and I know Derek knows just by the shit eating grin on Spencer’s face.

But I just love saying it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Derek’s eyes light up as he claps his hands together, before pulling Spencer into a hug. “My man!”

JJ and Emily gather around, all smiles and squeals as I’m captured in the middle of a group hug.

Penelope walks into the bullpen then, confusion written across her face.

“What’s going on out here? Why are you guys screaming? Who won the lottery?”

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the smile.

“I’m pregnant!” I all but scream.

Penelope’s expression changes in an instant as she practically runs forward.

“Oh my god! Holy crap! Baby genius! That’s so much better than the lottery!” 

She catches me in a bone crushing hug before suddenly pulling back.

“Crap. Sorry. Fragile baby.”

“Congratulations baby girl.” Derek swaps places with Penelope, who is now hugging Spencer with everything she has.

“Alright, why are you guys hugging each other?”

Rossi and Hotch walk through the glass doors, taking in the commotion.

I feel Spencer wrap his arms around me from behind, as he kisses my shoulder, my neck, my cheek.

“I’m pregnant!”

A smile immediately forms on Rossi’s face as he comes forward, grasping my face between his hands, kissing me on each of my cheeks.

“Congratulations, principessa.”

“Congratulations, to both of you.”

Hotch is smiling, waiting his turn to give hugs.

“It’s decided, celebratory dinner at my place tonight!” Rossi announces and we all cheer.

I turn my head, placing my hands over Spencer’s which are now resting over my stomach.

“I love you.” I smile.

“I love you, too. Both of you.”

Soft humming breaks the silence of the room, and quiet words float through the air as he sings to her sleeping form.

“Come Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up she goes, up she goes.”

I enter the room then, tip toeing over to stand by his side, leaning my head against his shoulder as I gently stroke her hair.

“Up, up, a little bit higher. Oh! My! The moon is on fire! Come, Josephine in my flying machine going up, all on, goodbye!”

She’s tiny.

I couldn’t fathom how tiny she was a month ago, and she has grown, but she’s still so small.

Has it already been a month?

“Jesus fuck, I  promised myself this wouldn’t happen at work.”

I shouldn’t have come in.

I know that.

I know that waking up with contractions is a tell tale sign that you should not go to work.

But she isn’t due for another two weeks. Two weeks is a long time. Hopefully enough time to get a grip on myself so I don’t panic that I’m gonna fail as a mother every time I think about it too hard.

I thought maybe I could just get through the day, but the warm stream trickling down my leg is a big fuck no to that.

I’m trying to steady my breathing, the cup of tea I was making abandoned on the counter as I grip the edge with a force I didn’t know I had.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?”

Hotch walks up, worry creasing his brow.

He places a hand on my back, a comfort as pain ripples up and down my spine.

I shake my head. “I need Spencer.”

I shift my weight from leg to leg. “And a towel.”

He nods his head, looking around for a chair, frowning when he comes up empty.

“Aaron,” I say, turning my head towards him. “Please go get my husband.”

“Right.” He nods, taking a second to make sure I wasn’t going to topple over before almost running towards Penelope's bat cave.

A hiss escapes my mouth as I feel a jab in my side.

“Yeah, I know baby, I wish he would hurry the fuck up too.”

A plethora of footsteps fall upon my ears, and Spencer immediately places a hand on my lower back, taking hold of mine with his other.

“How far apart are they?” is the first thing out of his mouth.

“I’m fine, honey, thanks for asking.” I say as we start to make our way towards the front glass doors.

He gives me a look and I sigh.

“I don’t know. I thought if I didn’t count they’d go away and I could pretend this isn’t happening at work.”

“I wish it worked like that.” JJ laughs, holding open the door and what I presume is my go bag.

“Me too.” I grit, squeezing Spencer’s hand.

“Remember our deal. Not one statistic, or fact is to be uttered from your mouth today. You are not a doctor once we enter the hospital.”

I can see the panic start to form on his face, but he laughs.

“Yes ma’am.”

~~~

I’m never doing this again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much pain before.

I’ve been in this room for what feels like forever, because she’s taking her sweet time being early.

No amount of pillows or soothing rubs can help the aches that are washing over me.

My hair is falling from the bun I threw it up in, sweat coating every inch of skin I have.

I feel gross in every sense of the word.

I lean forward and groan as another contraction rips through me.

How do women do this?

Spencer brushes some hair out of my face and lays a cool washcloth on my neck as I grip the side rails of my bed.

“You’re doing so good baby.”

It feels like I can’t breath.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He knows there’s not much he can do right now to help, but he holds my hand, trailing his hand up and down my back.

“Just a little bit longer. I promise. She’s almost here. You’re doing so good, y/n. I’m so proud of you.”

If only he knew about the panic flowing through my veins, the thoughts that I’m not ready to be a mom bouncing around my skull like an insistent headache.

A knock at the door, and my doctor walks in, smiles and bright eyes. “How are you feeling, y/n?”

“Like a,” I groan, trying to move away from the pain, shifting forward and backwards. “Like a million bucks.”

She laughs, and I don’t have the energy to be nice and laugh with her.

“Well, I still need to check, but I’m pretty sure you’re ready to push.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to look as she sticks her fingers in a place that will need some R&R after this. 

“I was right. You’re ready. Now, your body knows exactly what to do. It’s best to not fight it, and just listen to what it’s telling you okay?”

I start to move myself back away from her, my breathing picking up pace.

I can’t do this.

“No. No. I can’t. I’m not ready.”

She doesn’t seem phased at all, but Spencer easily notices the fear in my voice. 

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Look at me.” His hands stroke the sides of my face, and his fingers are wet from my tears and sweat.

I shake my head. “I’m not doing this. I’m not ready. What if I fail? I don’t want to fail her. I can’t. No. I’m gonna be a horrible mother.”

“Y/n, baby, breath with me.” He takes my hand, and places it on his chest.

I can feel his breaths beneath his breastbone, the frantic heartbeats that give away his true state of mind.

I hate that I’m stressing him out.

“You are going to be a great mother. One of the best. I don’t think you could fail even if you tried.”

He brushes my tears away. “But you can’t force your body to stop. You need to let go. I’m right here.”

“Alright, were ready, y/n.”

My eyes pass between Spencer’s and I know he’s right.

I just need to let go.

I nod, and I move back to where I was. 

My left hand grips the rail, while my right is situated inside Spencer’s. 

I feel the next contraction start. 

“Alright I need you to push for me.” 

I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, but I take a breath and let my muscles do the work.

I hear that groaning and screaming can actually help, so that’s what I do. 

With every push, my voice grows louder, words lost in the back of my throat.

But I’m getting tired, and I can feel myself crashing. 

So when another contraction pulses through me, I push myself forward, and use every muscle in my body.

“Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!” 

I don’t think I’ve ever screamed that loud, but it seemed to work.

It felt like a gush and then crys fill the room.

I fall back onto the bed, tears streaming down my face.

“She’s beautiful!” I hear my doctor say over her screams.

Spencer kisses my forehead, his own tears coating his face. “You were amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“Here she is!”

My doctor lays a bundle of white blankets onto my chest, and when I see her face, my heart stops. 

The world could be burning around me, but I wouldn’t care. Even covered in gunk and red faced, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 

I sob, holding her close to me, Spencer right there beside me, his hand gently stroking the top of her head. 

“Hi, Ettie.” I whisper. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, his voice thick with emotion. 

I can’t take my eyes off her. I never want to let go of her.

Nothing else matters anymore, nothing but her.

Juliet Diana Reid.

Born at 6:08 am, on the third of December.

He places her in my arms, and I clutch her close to my chest as I move back towards her crib to lay her down again.

I don’t understand how I could have ever doubted how amazing my life would be with her in it.

Soft snores emit from her small mouth, and Spencer wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, only moving when he hears me sniffle.

“Why are you crying, love?” he whispers

I wipe my face, turning around so I can face him.

His hands are on my hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on my skin.

“For so long, I was jealous of so many people.” My hands play with the fabric of his t-shirt, rubbing it between my fingers.

“I was jealous of Heather. Of what she had.”

My hands move up his chest, coming to rest at the base of his neck. 

“I dreamed about this. About having this with you. And I never thought I would get it. But here I am.”

I smile up at him. “I have everything I have ever wanted. I wouldn’t wish for another life even if it was offered. I have you, and Ettie, and the life I wanted so bad. I’m just…”

I swallow the noise threatening to spill from my throat, so I don’t wake up the sleeping girl behind me. 

“I’m just really happy is all.”

He smiles softly down at me, and he brings up a hand to cup my cheek. 

He leans down and kisses me slowly, gently, in a way that always leaves me paralyzed. 

“I love you.” He whispers. 

I nuzzle my nose against his, before laying my head against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him. 

“I love you, too.”

I love you, Spencer.

I love you.

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#spencer reid #spencer reid series #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x female!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds series #cm #mathew gray gubler #mgg #Heather #Conan Gray #song fic

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

[bunny-xoxo]

Power Couple Playlist

for my love @ikigaitooru , please enjoy Shawty :)

warning: slight timeskip!oikawa spoilers

Relationship Head cannons 

I am not joking when I tell you you guys would be the definition of a power couple, like the kind where when people see you together they definitely get a little nervous assjjjdjsakaka

The team adoressss you too, like you are constantly clowning Oikawa and he’ll just be there like 🧍‍♂️ while the rest of the team loses their minds

Don’t let him fool you though! Oikawa clowns you just as much as you clown him definition of a petty queen

But also let literally anybody else say something to either of you, y’all just go innn on them (unless it’s Iwaizumi of course)

But as much as you two bully each other, you guys are infatuated with each other like you guys got each other on the brain constantly

IMO you guys definitely started off as flirty bullies, to flirty jackass friends to lovers 😶 (I’ll go more into detail with the playlist ;))

Your relationship definitely gives off summer fling type vibes but it just ,,, never ends lmaoo

You guys are LITERALLY the king and queen of the zodiacs and I feel like Oikawa would bring it up constantly “who cares babe we rule the world, let’s do what we want 😩” headass you cannot tell me he wouldn’t say this shit slightly unironically

Stares at you any chance he can get, he loves it when you’re hanging out with someone and you’re doing most of the talking so he can just watch you (will get embarrassed and sheepish if you notice though)

His favorite is when you’re smiling or laughing really hard and then look at him to talk or wait for his response shit gives him butterflies every time

Totally the type to wipe your face with a napkin if you guys are out and you got something on it and then just smile at you like 😊 got it

OKok i dont know much about smoking but he’d DEFINITELY be the giggly type probably horny too but you didn’t hear that from me

Boasts about you literally all the time whenever he gets the chance pls, whenever he gets interviewed at his games in Argentina he relentlessly finds ways to bring you up

Definitely let’s you do his makeup, no questions asked

Sometimes you’re aggressive and chaotic and it scares but also excites him in the best way

OKOK Playlist time!!

(the title is a joke pls don’t come for me asjfkdllsjs)

I kind of made this playlist as a soundtrack to your guys’ relationship and did my best to have it align with your music taste even though I feel like I did horrible job of that 

I really hope you enjoy it and if you need me to change anything please tell me!!

1. Song for Me - Greer: Ok here we go, friends to lovers gang!! Y’all definitely trying to deny it, but you’re catching stupid feeligs stupid fast. He can really talk to you about these big dreams and you just listen and talk with him so intently that it makes him feel something he can’t explain at first it’s called romantic feelings dumby. And hearing him talk about his dreams with you and just really want to talk with you really makes you so happy; and you can’t help but imagine getting to be by his side with him while he does this and- hold on, did you really just think that? Yeah cue 2:37 of the song 

2. This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory: Yeah, so you guys mutally realize that you like each other and do NOT know what to do. You guys kind of start to dance around it and aren’t sure what signs are real or made up lmaooo. You’re both so playfully flirty it’s like 😏 ahahahah.. 👀👀 bimboz anywayyy cue the side glances from Oikawa and his relentless staring as he slowly falls more and more for you

3. Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex: UGH DID SOMEONE SAY MUTUAL PINING, pls I feel like this would go on for a fair bit with Oikawa, he’s so dramatic. This song is just the definition of you two just wanting each other. And the fact he’s so nervous to screw it up with you just makes him more nervous cause he’s like oh shit, I really like her. Iwaizumi talks it through with him though knocks some sense into him “If she’s so great why wait until someone else recognizes that and want’s her all to themselves? As a matter of fact I’m sure-” “IWA PLEASE I GET IT” literally runs to your house out of breath after practice to confess to you assjfjdkkd

4. Violet - Hippo Campus: Ok so you guys are definitely together now, and this song just reminds Oikawa of you so hard. It played on his way home from your first date and now he just completely associates with you. Sometimes if he’s feeling extra nervous before a game he’ll listen to it and immediately feel better, it’s like your theme song for you in his mind right now, not that he would tell you that. Whenever he see’s you in the stands at his games this song is like a backtrack in his mind and it just gets him so extra pumped them serves are definitely extra terrifying

5. Michelle - Sir Chloe: Ok we’re gonna get a teensy bit angsty in here 😶 this song is definitely about Oikawa. He’s just so perfect and you hate it, you can’t help but start to love him and it’s so frustrating? He’s just gonna ruin you and you know it. You wanna try to fight falling in love with him so bad but you know there’s just no way that’s gonna happen. It’s like, who are you to be falling for him? It’s intimidating to fall in love with someone you can’t help but see as literally so perfect, knowing practically everyone wants him. He would obliterate you if he heard you think this way but who has to know

6. Sweet - Cigarettes After Sex: This is it, this is the song Oikawa realizes he’s in love with you to. Not just loves you but like in love with you. It starts playing in his headphones while he’s on a run and it makes his heart stop. He just can’t stop thinking of you alongside every lyric (1:45-1:53? Oh yeah) and it makes him so soft; while also scaring the absolute shit out of him. He’s just so in love with you.

7. I Love You - The Post Nobles: OK IM SORRY A LITTLE WITTLE BIT OF ANGST! I do see falling in love scary period, and I do feel like it would kind of scare Oikawa for a second, like he’d really have to sit with his thoughts for a second and be like?? I love this girl? Oh god what if I mess it up? What if I lose her? What would I do? What if she doesn’t love me back? It would just be so much easier if I didn’t love her. So this song is more to himself like, fr my guy?? You love this chick? Wanna take it back? Nope. He can’t believe it but he’s in love with you and has no choice about it, it’s scary but he would let you ruin his life and he ultimately wouldn’t want it any other way. 

8. Pretty Boy - The Neighbourhood: I mean c’mon, this SCREAMS falling for Oikawa vibes. But it’s kind of like your song to each other like fuck it, we’re in love and we can’t do a damn thing about it. ~acceptance

9. Hot Faced - Margaux: I don’t know how to explain it but this is definitely you and Oikawa?? (”King” C’mon now 🙄) I have a feeling people are easily intimidated by you (you look like someone I’d be scared to talk to you) and Oikawa is so charming and inviting, like everyone loves him. So I’m sure there’s people who are like 🧍‍♀️ she’s intense, how’d he just get her like that? And she got him? Power Couple

10. Driving - Donna Missal: Honestly, this is totally just a ~vibe time song for the two of you :)

11. Burning Pile - Mother Mother: Ok TELL me you two wouldn’t blast this song, singing your lungs out together when someone’s had a bad day or is particularly stressed out? Definitely becomes somewhat of a ritual between you two 🖤 you guys are so cute I love you

12. Sunrise - Kevitch: This song is just the definition of your guy’s infatuation and love for each other. People are definitely jealous of you two cause it’s just so obvious on your faces you love each other. 

13. The Girl - City and Colour: Don’t hate me - slight Oikawa angst 🧍‍♀️ It’s Oikawa, he’s angsty. I strongly HC he’ll just never feel quite good enough for his s/o. He just feels like he’s dragging you around so he can chase his dreams and he hates how selfish he feels for doing that to you, but he just couldn’t imagine loving anyone but you. He has these big dreams of becoming a professional volleyball player, and even when he makes it to Argentina with you he feels like he constantly needs to do better for you and just loves you so much it hurts, and he just hopes that that’s enough for you :( 

14.  Cover Me in Roses - Holden Laurence: Intimate much?? Oikawa would most definitely make you slow dance to this song with him. It plays in his head if he wakes up before you, or if you fall asleep before him, all while he just can’t help but look at you and feel so so soft while he caresses your face and just thinks: this is it, this is all I need to make it through anything.

15. I Wanna go to the Beach - Algernon Cadwallader: Did someone say laughing and dancing in the hot night air or Argentina in nothing but your underwear inside your house with all the windows open? Cause that’s what I heard.

-----------

OKOK THAT’S IT BABES, I really hope you liked it, pls tell me if you’d like any changes.

And if anyone else see’s this I’d be more than happy to do this for you, too! Just send an ask with your music taste, tell me about yourself (a fair amount pls lmaooo) and whether or not you want someone or want me to pair you up! (haikyuu only please!)

#haikyuu x reader #playlist #oikawa hcs #oikawa angst #oikawa torū #oikawa playlist #haikyu x reader #haikyu requests #kageyama x reader #hinata shoyo x reader

[glare-a13]

so i finished the jeanlisa playlist! not many songs on there, but here it is :) it’s around half an hour in total, so not too bad. i figured i’d do a post explaining why i chose the songs and the (sort of) story i imagine behind it. explanations will be under the cut!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/20XrumZtYBRtvWDBRfFaBf?si=2ny92pKySM6bD3KB_G4oig&dl_branch=1

talk about death/grief below the cut

the dandelion stands alone. the roses that once stood beside it have wilted, their lavender hue faded and their petals dried.

the overall story i had in mind for this playlist was jean dealing with the death of lisa due to her curse. it’ll be of course, from jean’s perspective but i think i have one or two that i imagined as lisa speaking. if you guys have other interpretations or think another order could be better, comment below or send it in my ask box! i’m super excited to hear what y’all think :))

die alone -ingrid michaelson

we open up with jean and her perspective on love

i’ve always thought that die alone could work for so many characters, like maki harukawa from danganronpa especially,

but i figured it could be a good one to open up this playlist with

just to show how lisa sorta

crashed her way into her life and made her realize that she isn’t just fated for some

noble.. knight… life.. yes ..?????

besties idk how to explain it but i hope w listening to the lyrics you get the gist <3

pink in the night -mitski

and here’s our first one from lisa’s perspective!

hah

what if i told you i think of it as lisa feeling alone/isolated in her final days

because

because she hadn’t told jean about the curse from the book

and she doesn’t want her darling to worry about her

she believes jean already has enough on her plate… that poor woman… she loved her so much she couldn’t bear to break the news to her

so she allows jean to continue working, without having to worry about her

hah

hm.

where’d all the time go -dr. dog

THE CHORUS

“she gets dressed up like a pillow, so she’s always iN BED / FLOWERS FOR THE SICK AND DEAD / SHE’S ON THE GO / WAY TOO FAST AND WAY TOO SLOW”

i just think. this tragic song fits lisa’s situation with the book.

i imagine this as lisa actually dying from the curse

whereas the last song is more of lisa thinking about her regrets and wanting jean to not worry about her

yet longing to spend time with her in her final days

i actually put this at the end of the playlist at first, but moved it when i thought of the point above

but “she’s on the go, way too fast and way too slow” just HURTS because i imagine jean saying it like

she doesn’t want lisa to die, but she also can’t handle watching her suffer

telephones -vacations

“i wish i could live without you / but you’re a part of me”

:))

yeah i don’t think this one needs much of an explanation

jean thinks about all the time she could’ve spent with lisa, remembering back to her fondest memories with her

regretting that she couldn’t have made more memories

hehe

rises the moon -liana flores

this one i imagine as lisa watching over jean in the afterlife

speaking reassurances and wanting to comfort her even with no way of contact

trying, urging her to move on so she can do her best to protect mondstadt, the city she loves, like she’s always wanted

she knows it’s hard to lose a loved one

the days go on… she cannot let this pull her too far from her routine

I ALSO THINK THIS CAN BE IMAGINED AS LISA VISITING JEAN THROUGH A DREAM

like the first point on this song but she speaks to jean through a dream

to reassure her that she’ll always be by her side

man i love this song sm it’s so comforting…

francis forever -mitski

now for the sake of this playlist, i’m taking some of the lyrics of this song very literally

like even the first verse…

i mean the first two lines already hit hard

lisa provided jean w something wonderful, making sure she took care of herself and keeping her company even when she overworked herself hunched over papers in the grandmaster’s office

oH! if you wanna think abt it more, i suggest going to genius lyrics and looking at the annotations made by people there, it’s a wonderful way to look at lyrics from others’ perspectives

and DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE SECOND VERSE

“on sunny days i go out walking / i end up on a tree lined street / i look up at the gaps of sunlight / i miss you more than anything”

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A

AND

I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THIS, BUT RISES THE MOON HAS A LINE THAT SAYS

“oh close your weary eyes / i promise you that soon the autumn comes / to darken fading summer skies”

AND FRANCIS FOREVER

THE SECOND CHORUS

“and autumn comes when you’re not yet done / with the summer passing by”

AA A A A A A A A A A AA AA A

feel better -penelope scott

i mostly did this one for the first verse

like,, “no one’s ever gonna love me like that again”

ouch

“i don’t wanna get over you / i wanna sit with you in bed”

i also think of this as the… the bitterness jean feels

what once was -her’s

another one that i feel,, doesn’t really need explanation

the first verse already smacks you in the face

“i guess i knew this would happen to you / inside i did but i refused to know the truth”

she just didn’t expect lisa would go so soon, you know?

they had barely gotten to spend time together

but time is cruel, crueler to some more than others

it’s unfortunate lisa was a part of that.

i didn’t know -skinshape

i actually made an entire post abt this!

check the posts under the jeanlisa tag on my profile, it should have the song linked and i have a whole explanation about it and why i think it fits them

do better -cuco

i just thought this was a nice way to end things

perhaps set in the future, when jean has started to accept lisa’s death and is coming to terms with her being gone

knowing that even though she’s gone from the mortal realm, the love they shared will always follow her.

and that’s all! hope this all made some sort of sense; i won’t really be proofreading it or anything since it’s just bullet points mostly. but yeah, this playlist was super fun to make, even through the tears- if you think i should make more, i think i should be having either a regular, non angsty jeanlisa one or a ganyu one on the way, so woOHOO !!

#Spotify #genshin impact #jeanlisa brainrot #jeanlisa angst #angst #i am a genius #that’s a lie #i’m just sad #but i’m having fun w the sad #making it fun for myself #woohoo #jean x lisa #lisa x jean #purple dandelion #they hurt my heart #i care them a lot #man. #genshin impact playlist #jeanlisa playlist #playlist #jeanlisa

[crystal-methionine]

The Post-Eurovision ranking and comments from an American that nobody asked for:

1. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Gjon’s Tears - Tout l’univers: I absolutely was enamored by this song, its artistry, and the artist. He can really sing and one of my early favorites from this year. So happy for him to get in the top 3 bc it was well deserved. 100/10

2. Italy 🇮🇹 Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni: Deserved winners. As queer as you can get and I am here for it. Another early favorite of mine constantly fighting with Switzerland for the top spot. 100/10

3. Iceland 🇮🇸 Dadi og Gagnamagnid - 10 Years: A beautiful song dedicated to his wife and deserved Top 5 for sure. Last year’s song would have won hands down so I’m bummed he couldn’t win the first one for Iceland but brilliant song and I hope the group stays together to produce more music. 99/10

4. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old: Eurovision fandom will forever say Imaginary Friend or Ugly Cry was the better song to send, but I don’t think they would have won the contest either. This year was strong, and I personally think Growing Up was a perfect choice from Victoria. It deserved top 10 so I was pissed that it came 11th on the night and received so few televotes. 97/10

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Go_A - SHUM: To all y’all who said this wouldn’t qualify when the new version came out, eat those words hun. This was a masterpiece, and the live performances just elevated it further. Honestly, Kateryna could step on me, and I would let her. Who doesn’t love an ethnic modern fusion rave? 95/10

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 Hurricane - Loco Loco: I honestly have to say when it came out, it was never breaking my top 20, but here we are. This group of gals is amazing. The choreo, hairography, and the still great vocals won my gay ass over. They served and deserved top 10 in my eye. 90/10

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Stefania - Last Dance: Much like Serbia, I kinda dismissed this as a top 10 song at first, but after many listens and then the live shows, it was one of the best songs this year. Last year’s song was nowhere near a qualifier for me, and then I thought they had a good chance of being top 5 this year. Amazing improvement and can’t wait to see what comes next from Stefania. 80/10

8. Malta 🇲🇹 Destiny - Je me casse: Not going to lie, the studio definitely did more for me. It was up with Italy and Switzerland for winner contention until the live shows. Don’t get me wrong, Destiny is still amazing live, and the song is a deserved top 5 song. However, the costume and staging just really didn’t add to the song and I think detracted a bit. Her song last year was also much better in my opinion. 75/10

9. San Marino 🇸🇲 Senhit ft Flo Rida - Adrenalina: Oh boy this was a party, and the fact Flo Rida actually was there made it even better. The staging and costuming was absolutely camp, and I was here for it. This was definitely not underrated by fans beforehand, but the jury and televote were beyond robberies in my opinion. Granted I know the backing vocals were carrying the chorus a lot so in terms of vocals, I can see where this song got dinged, but this should have been San Marino’s best ever result at Eurovision, and it wasn’t so I’m mad. 60/10

10. France 🇫🇷 Barbara Pravi - Voila: The new Edith Piaf and probably one of the most representative of the country’s culture for a song. A definite deserved runner up on the night but for me 10th place. I loved the staging, the costume, the emotions. It was all right for Eurovision and me. 50/10

11. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Elena Tsingarou - El Diablo: Come through Cyprus with another female pop banger. I’d say if the formula ain’t broke don’t fix it, but wasn’t really enough to crack top 10 this year. Another early favorite of mine this year but soon got eclipsed. Still going to be listening to El Diablo for a while. 49/10

12. Russia 🇷🇺 Manizha - Russian Woman: I can’t lie that at first, this song was absolutely trash to me but quickly rose the ranks and became one of my faves. Same thing happened last year with Uno. We also always love a good female empowerment moment with the native language thrown in. Manizha is a girlboss without the gaslighting and a true queen. Deserved top 10 the night of. 40/10

13. Lithuania 🇱🇹 The Roop - Discoteque: An earworm for first listen and was top 10 for a while for me but like Cyprus, lost out to some others. No doubt this is a deserved top 10 the night of. 35/10

14. Croatia 🇭🇷 Albina - Tick Tock: The first song to get me pressed on it’s placement. Deserved to be in the final over both Israel and Norway (please come for me I don’t care). They freakin rocked that stage during the semis and the song is absolutely a bop. Albina deserved better. 30/10

15. Sweden 🇸🇪 Tusse - Voices: A beautiful song by an amazing artist. Sure the lyrics were a bit cliche Eurovision but guess what...it’s Eurovision. I can hear the voices. Keep carrying on Tusse. 25/10

16. Albania 🇦🇱 Anxehla Peristeri - Karma: This song grew on me a lot. I liked it but wasn’t a don’t skip for a while on my playlist. The live performance changed it for me. She slayed and the staging was everything for Miss Thing. Also native language brownie points. 24/10

17. Finland 🇫🇮 Blind Channel - Darkside: Before you come for me for having this at 17th, keep reading. I’m not a big fan of the lyrics but the song is absolutely fantastic. This style of music isn’t something I pull out on a playlist often, but I had my middle fingers up for this one (and pointed at Germany but we’ll discuss later). Deserved top 10 as they rocked it on stage. 20/10

18. The Netherlands 🇳🇱 Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age: I absolutely do not understand the hate for this song. I was also a huge fan of Grow last year so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised for being generally alone again. The fact it got 0 points in the televote and only 11 in the jury is not surprising but extremely disappointing to me. This song is a masterpiece much like the ones ranked above it. Jeangu, you are amazing and deserved so much better than this. 20/10

19. Belgium 🇧🇪 Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place: Fantastic song but fantastic artists. Always here for a dark pop moment. Gonna go get my own Johnny Cash T-shirt. 15/10

20. Spain 🇪🇸 Blas Cantó - Voy a Quedarme: Such a heartfelt ballad. I enjoyed it quite a bit and don’t understand the hate it has. Didn’t deserve 0 points in the televote. 14/10

21. Denmark 🇩🇰 Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden: Look we all know this song is cheesy but it’s the cheesiest Velveeta queso loco so it’s ranked so high in my opinion. This is a nod to the whacky and weird Eurovision I love. It’s always in my head and I always find myself dancing along. Deserved to be in the final over two of the songs in Semi 2. 13/10

22. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Efendi - Mata Hari: As far as the song goes, it’s enjoyable, but the stage show was a hot mess in my opinion. The choreo looked a mess and the different sheer legging configurations on the backup dancers was not the correct fashion choice in my opinion as I was distracted by the thought of why are they all different. Did deserve their spot in the final though. 12/10

23. Moldova 🇲🇩 Natalia Gordienko - Sugar: The studio version of this song is a heavily replayed one on my playlist bc of the drop and dance-ability of the song. However the downfall of the song was it’s live performance. The staging was fine and the choreo was great but those attempted sexy whisper vocals were not the choice to go with. I don’t want to sugar-coat this 😝 so they were terrible. Glad she made it but I felt her position in the final was one of just pure luck. 11/10

24. UK 🇬🇧 James Newman - Embers: The nul points was a huge ass oof. This song isn’t bad but I can see where people didn’t vote for it bc it’s not super memorable in terms of who all was participating this year. I like the song and always sing and dance along. 10/10

25. Israel 🇮🇱 Eden Alene - Set Me Free: This is how to do a revamp and be successful. Eden is a fantastic artist who can clearly sing, but the live performance was not all that sans the whistle tones. Yet the whistle tones aside, the song is lacking a lot. When looking back at the songs available, this one should not have been the selected one. I was always on the fence with this one and still am. 9.5/10

26. Czechia 🇨🇿 Benny Cristo - Omaga: The live definitely hurt this song in the first minute and a half. The second half was absolutely what should have happened in terms of vocals. Still like the song and listen to it often. 9.25/10

27. Ireland 🇮🇪 Leslie Roy - Maps: This song was a victim of a super strong bloodbath and shoddy staging ideas. The song is arresting and a bop. Leslie’s gruff voice mixed with the modernized Irish sounds is a match made. The staging of this song that required Leslie to run along with the beat and the distracting and constantly changing bits of the performance we’re definitely it’s downfall. It didn’t deserve last place in Semi 1 though. 9.25/10

28. Portugal 🇵🇹 The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side: I am the first to admit that while I don’t like the song, it deserved the final. The staging and atmosphere elevated the song. 9/10

29. Austria 🇦🇹 Vincent Bueno - Amen: In the battle of the Amens, this one wins solely based on the classy and amazing staging. Don’t get me wrong, Slovenia’s was also elevating but this one did it better. 8.5/10

30. Australia 🇦🇺 Montaigne - Technicolor: This song is a fantastic one for studio. The live since the Sydney Mardi Gras performance has been rough and didn’t necessarily improve. I feel bad bc I do really love this song but it definitely didn’t deserve to qualify. This being said, I love Montaigne, and Don’t Break Me was my runner up last year, and I still listen to it as my anthem when I’m feeling down. I wish I could rank this higher but I can’t. 8.5/10

31. Romania 🇷🇴 Roxen - Amnesia: This song is great in the studio but it got old real fast for me and I don’t know why. This mixed with the poor vocals and the bizarre costume:stage combo was really what did this in and got this low in my ranking. 8.25/10

32. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Ana Soklic - Amen: The loser of the Amen battle, but just barely. The song and vocals are better in my opinion but the whole package was just barely edged out in the end. 8/10

33. Latvia 🇱🇻 Samanta Tīna - Moon Is Rising: Look, this song is nowhere near as good as last years. The queeeeeen sashayed away with that annoying trap beat. 8/10

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 Vasil - Here I Stand: Leave it to the gays for bringing musical theatre to Eurovision. The song honestly isn’t that special or memorable but he’s higher up bc his stage and voice are amazing. 7/10

35. Norway 🇳🇴 Tix - Fallen Angel: A great message on mental health outside of the song and Tix seems like a quality fella but I do not like the song. I preferred it in Norwegian. And this low ranking is not at all influenced over him beating out Keiino (but maybe a slight bit tho). 5/10

36. Estonia 🇪🇪 Uku Suviste - The Lucky One: While this was 1000% better than last years entry, it still was relatively boring. The stage was equally as boring so sorry Estonia, but you didn’t make the mark. 4.5/10

37. Poland 🇵🇱 Rafael - The Ride: This throwback to the 80s was a bad one. The attempt at a one hit wonder vibe really hurt it along with the artist’s terrible vocals. Also half the time, he was behind the pyro and relying on backup vocals. 4/10

38. Georgia 🇬🇪 Tornike Kipiani - You: You really should not have to wait so long for the more upbeat rock ending of this. If it was that last 30 seconds for 3 minutes, it would be much better. A definite step back from last year. 1/10

39. Germany 🇩🇪 Jendrick - I Don’t Feel Hate: Jendrick might not feel hate but I do bc that is all I feel when this song comes on. 0.5/10

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2021 #top 39 eurovision #my opinion

[imgoingtocrash]

Made of Iron, Born of Fire: The Fanmix 

by @imgoingtocrash

Listen on Spotify and 8tracks

Read the series on Ao3

AKA: A labor of love for @savvysass’s birthday!!!!

What can I say that hasn’t already been said because we’re both incredibly sappy people in our Author’s Notes? Writing this series with you has brought me so much joy in the last two years, and I never could have hit over 100k words without you. Here’s to whatever we write next in the series...and all of the WIPs we’re working on right now...and only god knows what’s next for us personally and professionally...and most importantly, to you on your Birthday. Thank you for being such a good friend, in both fandom and outside of it. I’m so, so thankful to know you and love you. 🥰

Director’s Cut Below, because we all know I love talking about this series, and yes, that does extend to why I picked these songs. (And also maybe because these song choices only make sense in my brain and hopefully Savannah’s?? Who knows! Feel free to ask questions if you want but let’s be honest this series and fanmix are most importantly for us, because we love the series so dang much.)

My Wildest Dreams by Ron Pope

I spoke in riddles and in rhymes, but my time with you has taught me to simplify, you’re not quite what I pictured you would be, you’re better than my wildest dreams.

We’ve talked about this one before, and I’LL TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!! Ron Pope is so good imo, and this song wowowow the father-child feels, but especially with Tony and newborn Peter a la A Foreign Feeling and A First Time For Everything.

Big & Scared by Raleigh Ritchie

I want to be better for you, let me do that now, you’re my favorite human, so you should be prepared, I’ll help you get through it, when you’re big and scared

We’ve mentioned Tony’s thoughts about legacy multiple times by now, and I think this song really represents Tony looking forward to the person Peter could be become and that “breaking the cycle” mentality of supporting Peter even when he’s not a perfect father.

Legacy of Sadness by Ron Pope

irrational as it may seem I guess I’m sorry, even though I know that none of it’s my fault, it is easier for me to count my blessings, than to cry for every single thing we’ve lost

I have 0 shame putting these two songs by Ron Pope almost back to back because they’re the opening and closing of an album dedicated to his child like...it’s so perfect for Tony and this theme of reflection on who he is and who Peter will become/is becoming and all that entails.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that

I wrote something...very sad but also soft recently??? and this is for That it’s about pre-CW Pepperony being separated and the road to them trying to come back together including Tony working on himself and I love it!!! It hurts really good!!! This whole song is perfect for it and I can’t wait until people get to read it.

Be Good When I’m Gone by Four Year Strong

I'm sorry I can't stop to listen, but I've got so much to do and I've got some place to be, the house looks like the aftermath of a hurricane, I hope it stays that way

Tony being a busy parent but doing his best to make time for Peter in his life and making that time count has been something super important to illustrate to us, especially the transition from being a CEO to being a superhero and how that changes how Peter sees Tony’s absence over time.

I Won’t Back Down by Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, and Penny and Sparrow

Tony puts on the original version by Tom Petty in Home Is Where The Heart Is, but I think this cover has a very slow, emotional undertone that’s really great too. The interludes, if you didn’t catch it, have all been featured in a fic previously.

Let It Matter by Johnnyswim

So if it matters let it matter, if your heart's breaking let it ache, catch those pieces as they scatter, know your hurt is not in vain

Pepper in Never Tell Me The Odds ALL DAYYYYY. She’s the emotional rock of that fic (and of our Ironfam TBH) and it’s all because she allows herself to feel her feelings and encourages the Stark boys to do so as well.

Simmer - Acoustic by Hayley Williams

And if my child, needed protection, from a fucker like that man, I’d sooner gut him, cause nothing cuts like a mother

Post-Home Is Where The Heart Is...y’all know Pepper’s not that mad about what happened to Obie. Also just Pepper when someone hurts her family?? I always write it as her sort of putting all of her emotion into something she can control and doing it well, so, this song is all about that.

Tightrope by Nia Hendricks

one step after another, keep holding on to each other, don’t look back, move on and let go, that’s how you walk on a tightrope

Pepperony trying to navigate their relationship and the insanity of superhero stuff and also co-parenting. It’s all excellent, I love them so much, I enjoy writing it so much!!!!

Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

Never got the chance, to say a last goodbye, I gotta move on, but it hurts to try, how do I love, how do I love again?

This song is tilted towards romance, but if you’ll remember, we’re a Pro-Tony Survives Endgame AU series, so it’s not about THAT...but well...Infinity War sure will hit something fierce for certain non-romantic relationships in this series, huh?

The Bones by Maren Morris

Call it dumb luck, but baby, you and I, can't even mess it up, although we both try, no, it don't always go the way we planned it, but the wolves came and went and we're still standing

Post-Endgame Ironfam!!! Tony and Pepper married with their kids, their family and HAPPY...THIS IS WHY WE DO ALL OF THE ANGST...FOR A FAMILY...WE LOVE THEM

Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas

Considered Pepper and Peter’s ‘song’, as it’s referenced multiple times in the series, and was one of the bigger solidifying moments of their mother-son relationship as a whole.

Mundane by Hardcastle

And I’ve been sinking into silence, dwelling on my thoughts, and in these months, I haven’t felt that most conversations have left me anything but blue

Peter’s selective mutism was something very special to us when we originally had the idea, and making sure we talk about it and utilize it in the right way is something we’re still working on, particularly with the Therapy Fic we’re brainstorming atm.

survivin’ (One Eyed Jack’s Session) by Bastille

What can I say? I'm survivin', crawling out these sheets to see another day, what can I say? I'm survivin', and I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine, I think I'll be fine

Spoiler Alert: Peter’s not fine, like, a decent amount of the time. But he’s sure trying, and we love him for that.

Jacob from the Bible by Jake Wesley Rogers

Mama, don't worry, it took me years, to say I'm sorry, to see your tears, Mama, forgive me, I grew up too fast, but it's not on you, it's in the past

Mostly part of Peter growing up to become a hero and realizing what his parents--particularly Pepper--have gone through for him to become the person he is today, but that sometimes he still doesn’t feel like he’s making them proud enough.

Compassion Is a German Word by To Kill A King

Don't be so arrogant, you ain't no different to anyone I've met, we're all the heroes in our own film, or maybe the villain in someone else's

Spider-Man being an excellent superhero boi!!! Being kind and good!!! We love it!! Also, I put a TKAK song on...a LOT of my playlists, because I think they’re great.

brutal by Olivia Rodrigo

And I'm so sick of seventeen, where's my fucking teenage dream?, if someone tells me one more time, "Enjoy your youth", I'm gonna cry

I mean...this song is such a Teenage Mood...I had to do it...

In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning by Frank Sinatra

So, I had this cute little scene in my head that went with this song for SO LONG but there wasn’t really anything for it to fit into so...yeah that’s part 2 of Savannah’s Birthday Gift, a little soft Baby Peter drabble. Fluffy Goop from top to bottom. That can be read here.

Home by Phillip Phillips

Just know you're not alone, 'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

...I know it’s not original, okay? It’s found family, it’s great, I don’t care!

Comes and Goes (In Waves) by Greg Laswell

And this part was for her, and this part was for her, this part was for her, does she remember?

This song is good family angst in general BUT these specific lyrics made me think of Mary and that they never forget her in their lives despite the other stuff going on (because we refuse to let them).

I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh Hellos

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them, the promises I've made, I continue to break them, and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them, but nothing is a waste if you learn from it

No one in the Ironfam is perfect, but they all do their best to try and grow even when they’re scared they’ll never be able to. The ups and downs are all par for the course of this series to us.

Easy Days - Demo by Bastille

Cause I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days, everything was so simple then, little fires burned away

Strife is a part of life, and the family in this fic growing through their loss and struggles and moving ahead as a unit to get to a better place is super central to making the fic what it is...but it’s easy for them to remember the old days before being superheroes and wishing it was simple again.

North by Sleeping At Last

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind, let our hearts like doors open wide, open wide, settle our bones like wood over time, over time, give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

The way Tony went from feeling so alone to having an entire built family that’s so full of love and everything he never dreamed of...*screams into my pillow* I love this series so much thank you and good night!!!

#made of iron born of fire #irondad #ironfam #fanmix #savvysass #this series just makes me burst with content i can't describe it #also doing the graphics was a fun experiment!!! #mine #mine: marvel

[taste-in-music]

What do you think is the reason behind the success of driver's license?

This is a great question! I’ve actually been having a lot of thoughts about this lately. “drivers license” has met an unprecedented amount of success, breaking Spotify’s record for most streams in a single day, (holiday songs excluded.) That’s great for Olivia Rodrigo, she’s quite talented and had a lot of potential as an artist. I’m excited to see how she’ll ride that momentum going forward. 

One factor to the song’s success is definitely the drama surrounding it. Apparently Olivia Rodrigo was dating her costar Joshua Bassett, and then they broke up, and now he’s dating Sabrina Carpenter? She weaves in details about this into the song, (“You're probably with that blonde girl” and “She's so much older than me / She's everything I'm insecure about” come to mind.) While it incorporates the real-life events, they’re not too hyper specific to be inaccessible to a first time listener. You don’t have to know about the backstory to enjoy the song, but it adds on another layer of engagement if you do. It got people to care about Olivia Rodrigo not only as an artist, but as a person. That’s smart marketing. (I can also see it helping people tune in for the next season of High School Musical: The Musical The Series.)

Olivia Rodrigo has cited Lorde as a big inspiration, and you can see it in the song. But on a grander scale, we’re seeing what I’ve decided to dub the “Post-Ribs Fallout.” After Lorde hit the scene, there was a floor of artists that gave of the vibe that record labels were trying to find people like her, like Halsey, Daya, Alessia Cara, and Kiiara. (These artists aren’t automatically bad by the way, nor does that mean they don’t have their own independent merits, or haven’t since grown from their original purpose.) But now, we’re getting a second wave, but instead it’s with artists that grew up listening to Lorde. Think of people like Conan Gray, Maude Latour, Charli Adams, and, of course, Olivia Rodrigo. Think of all the song’s we’ve been getting with lyrics about long drives and suburban boredom set against lush, blissed out soundscapes. These are artists that submerge themselves in similar sonics and lyrical themes that Lorde, did but through their own lens. I’m all for it, that’s my musical catnip. 

Olivia Rodrigo has also cited Taylor Swift as a big inspiration, which you can see in her bridge construction. But, more importantly, Swift has commented on one of Rodigo’s social media posts, driving even more engagement. It seems as if a large portion of Swift’s fanbase has latched onto the song as a result.

On top of all that long-winded analysis, the song is just a well written, catchy pop song that doesn’t quite sound like anything else on the charts right now. If y’all enjoy it and want some more music like it, I’d recommend checking out my playlist youphoria.

#olivia rodrigo #drivers license #taste in music

[honeytea8]

@redbeanb0i, @fyre23, and @pun-in-ten-ded asked for Morioh next, so you know I had to deliver the goods! Stardust Crusaders HC’s here, in case you missed it.

✨The Morioh Crew and Their Song Picks✨

(based off SOME of my playlists/tastes)

Yukako Yamagishi

Honestly, her music reflects her pretty well for the most part. She’s got unapologetic bad bitch vibes (and I highkey stan)—she’s also a girl in high school with big simp energy (for Koichi lmao) and it can make her a little crazy. Yukako is like a sour piece of candy with a sweet center—she a little feral, kinda chaotic but also has a cute side you can’t help but like.

Maneater — Nelly Furtado

Freak — Doja Cat

Sorry — Beyoncé 

Moonlight — Ariana Grande

ocean eyes — Billie Eilish

Smack a Bitch — Rico Nasty

Okuyasu Nijimura

Ca$h Money Okuya$u gives me cool hip-hop vibes with a bit of alternative and pop on the side; he’s surprisingly cultured. I can totally see him as one of those people constantly wishing for the “old Kanye”. He has pretty diverse music taste, but don’t bother asking him for recommendations. His shit is so disorganized, because he likes everything so his music is literally all on one giant playlist and it’s hella chaotic (like 300+ songs and over 1000 hours of music on one playlist, sickening!!! 😭)

G.O.M.D — J. Cole

Kill Your Heroes — AWOLNATION

Hey Ya — Outkast

Through the Wire — Kanye West

I’m Not Famous — AJR

Ride — twenty one pilots

Koichi Hirose

I feel like his taste can go several different ways. Koichi is that timid guy steadily growing into a more confident person, but then his stand is all “let’s kill dat hoe beeeetch” like literally that’s his soul talking. For him, I’m just going to go with chill rap/nerdy rap, and then some alternative. Koichi and Okuyasu could probably rock the same playlist, but Koichi’s music would be more lowkey where as Okuyasu’s is more mainstream.

Rigamortus — Kendrick Lamar

Stressed out — twenty one pilots

Check the Rhime — A Tribe Called Quest

Hurt Feelings — Mac Miller

EARFQUAKE — Tyler, the Creator

Soul Food — Logic

Josuke Higashikata

Josuke is a sap if I ever saw one! Besides groovy pop music (or Prince’s whole discography), his playlist is mostly RnB love songs lmao (I fully believe Josuke has all of Usher’s music on CD and I take no criticism!!) He’s a romantic at heart so I think some of the music he listens to reflects that quite a bit.

Let Me Love You — Mario

We Belong Together — Mariah Carey

Take Care — Drake

That’s What I Like — Bruno Mars

U Got it Bad — Usher

You & I (Nobody in the World) — John Legend

Bonus: If I Ain’t Got You — Alicia Keys (Josuke would cry like a baby to this song and then vow to play it at his wedding, no, I’m not joking)

Rohan Kishibe

His nutty ass probably doesn’t even listen to music while working. It’s just silence. Rohan is attracted to powerful voices that evoke a lot of feeling, poignant lyrics are his weakness, they hit different and he loves it. He’d probably stan tf outta Adele or Lady Gaga. Essentially, when he listens to music, he wants to be impressed.

Skyfall — Adele

Young & Beautiful — Lana Del Rey

Hearts A Mess — Gotye

Movement — Hozier

Shallow — Lady Gaga

Midnight Mischief — Jordan Rakei

Chandelier (piano ver.) — SIA

✨Extras✨

Yuya Fungami

Hella rap, hella turn up. Master of the aux when it’s time to get hype! Dude has a chin tat, yakwtfgo 😂 Yuya’s like that one guy in the neighborhood with cleanest fits/sneakers, has hella hoes, does forex, drives a hellcat and wakes everybody up with his car and loud music whenever he leaves for work at 6am 💀💀 (some of y’all know what I’m talking about)

Flex — Polo G

High Fashion — Roddy Ricch

Topanga — Trippie Redd

Suge — DaBaby

Bank Account — 21 Savage

Walk It Talk It — Migos

Dior — Pop Smoke

Reimi Sugimoto

Easy! Reimi’s a sweet, friendly, cheerful, young sixteen year old girl. So I’d say her playlist is mostly pop music; bubbly, upbeat dance music. Lots of boy bands, girl bands. I can see her probably being a really big kpop and jpop stan too.

One Thing — One Direction

Sugar — Maroon 5

Work from Home — Fifth Harmony

Black Swan — BTS

Boy Meets Girl — Rude-a

Only One — BoA

Sunny Girl — Awesome City Club

Toshikazu Hazamada

Hazamada’s lowkey (highkey) a troll! The type to boldly say 6ix9ine is the best rapper in the game with a straight face and it gets everybody upset (especially Yuya and Koichi), wears all black air forces, rages while playing 2K. Probably wants a girlfriend so bad, but they always go for guys like Josuke and it makes him upset.

All Girls Are the Same — Juice WRLD

SAD — XXXTentacion

XO Tour Llif3 — Lil Uzi Vert

Falling Down — Lil Peep

Messages — The Hxliday

I Fall Apart — Post Malone

Y’all want Bucci gang next or nah? 👀

#yukako yamagishi #koichi hirose #okuyasu nijimura #josuke higashikata #rohan kishibe #yuya fungami #toshikazu hazamada #reimi sugimoto #diamond is unbreakable #jojo #jjba #jojo’s bizarre adventure

[bqstqnbruin]

Meet the Hughes’

Ok, this was requested over two weeks ago and I have another request that is the same premies with a different boy so it might take me a while to do this.

But hey, as y’all probably know, I’m on track to be a high school chem teacher and even though Pride Month just ended it would be really cool for you to look into charties like GLSEN, which addresses issues surrounding LGBTQ+ students in the K-12 education system. 

I hope you like this! Here is the original request! ________________________

“Ok, but what if they don’t like me?” you say, running around the apartment looking for your bag. You know you put it somewhere in the living room so that you could grab it and just leave when Quinn came to pick you up. 

“They like Jack and you’re better than him.” He leans back further into the couch cushions, figuring the two of you would be here for a while. He had to admit, watching you run around in that dress of yours was not something he was about to complain about. 

“But they have to like him, that’s your brother.” You start to bend down to see if one of your roommates slipped it under the coffee table; they had a habit of taking anything in the room and shoving it down there with the rest of the candles, miscellaneous remotes that you had no idea how to use but wouldn’t get rid of, and other random shit. 

“Babe, relax.”

You shoot up and look at him. “Has there ever been a woman in your life who has responded well when you told them to ‘relax?’ And can you please get up and help me find my bag, I don’t want to be late! That’s an awful first impression!” 

He gets up, pulling you off the floor and grabbing you into a hug. Out of stubbornness and sheer anxiety you leave your arms by your side. “Point taken.” He pushes his upper body away from you so he can see the pout you have on your face. “But, trust me. I wouldn’t even think of letting you meet them if I didn’t think they would love you more than they love any of the three of us.” You finally pull him back in for a hug. You’ve never been in a serious enough relationship where you had introduced him to your parents or he had introduced you to his. Knowing that they could literally tell him they don’t like you was stressing you out more than anything. 

“I just want them to like me.” 

“They will love you. But I think you put your bag in the kitchen.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me that!” you screech, pulling away from him to go find it. 

“Because you look so damn good that I just wanted an excuse to look at you.” 

You look up at him, debating if you should be mad or flattered. “You’re lucky I like you or I would have to kill you,” you deadpan, knowing he would burst out laughing like he does. He lets you go to find that your bag was sitting on the kitchen table, not where you remember leaving it, but who cares as long as you found it? “Ok, should we go?” you ask, taking his hand as he leads you out the door. 

The entire ride to the restaurant where you were meeting Quinn’s family, he did everything he could to try to calm you down. First, he put on your favorite radio station. When that didn’t work, he let you take control of the aux, which he almost never lets you do because he doesn’t like the nostalgic 2010s teenage girl pop that occupies your playlist. When that didn’t work, he had you find a song you both love, Dream On by Aerosmith, for you to blast and sing poorly and loud until you get to the restaurant. You couldn’t help but laugh as Quinn tried and failed to hit Steven Tyler’s high notes at the end of the song, the veins in his neck popping out as he tried to hit the note but ended up sounding like a screeching cat. 

“Feeling better?” he asks, smiling as he pulls into the first parking spot he can find. 

“Still nervous, but at least I’m not jittery.” 

“I promise, you’ll be fine. Just be yourself,” he reassures you, taking your hand and leading you in. His parents and youngest brother were already at their table, all in town to see Quinn play, Jack playing and traveling throughout the weekend unable to make it. “Hi,” he says, kissing his mom on the cheek, hugging his dad and Luke, “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.” 

You smile as his parents get up to greet you, “Hi, it’s so nice to meet you!” you say, trying not to let the nervousness get the best of you as his mom wraps you into a hug. You weren’t ready for it, but it was weirdly calming for you as she gushed about how happy she was that she could finally meet you while his dad stood behind her to just shake your hand. 

Everyone sits down, you, Quinn, and Luke on one side with Jim, and Ellen facing you. Your leg starts shaking out of nervousness, Quinn’s hand finding your thigh under the table to try to get it to stop. His parents start talking to Quinn about his season so far, all the nerves melting away as his hand stays where it is. They finally turn the conversation to you as the food arrives, asking you about what you do, your family, all the basic stuff you would ask someone to get to know them. 

“Do you have any siblings?” his father asks you between bites of food. 

“I have an older brother, but I also grew up surrounded by a lot of cousins on my dad’s side.”

“Sometimes I wish I had a girl,” Ellen says, her eyes fixed on her pasta.

“Wow, thanks, mom,” Luke says, you and Quinn bursting out laughing. 

“What she really means is that she wishes you were a girl. You were her last chance,” Quinn says, playfully shoving his brother in the arm.

“You’re only saying that because you’re such a mama’s boy.” 

“I’d rather be a mama’s boy than have her wish I was a girl.”

“What’s wrong with being a girl?” you ask. Quinn turns back to you, looking between you and his mom. His eyes are wide open, his face turning bright red. He keeps opening and closing his mouth like a fish trying to figure out what to say while his dad and brother can’t stop laughing at the hole he just dug himself into. 

“Go ahead, Q. I wanna hear this too,” Ellen eggs him on.

“Uh, well. I believe there are pros and cons to, uh, either gender,” Quinn stammers. He keeps babbling for a few minutes, trying to find a good enough reason for you not to be mad at him.

“I would just stop while you’re behind. It doesn’t look like you’re going to get ahead,” you say, patting his leg. 

His dad can’t stop laughing, “She’s a good one, Quinn.” Quinn looks at you and smiles, taking your hand on the table and kissing you on the cheek as his mother gushes over the two of you, causing both of you to blush. 

“Please tell me you have some sort of embarrassing story about him,” Luke begs, practically bouncing in his seat.

“I don’t think he could be any more embarrassed than Jack posting the picture from Easter where Quinn is wearing his Crocs,” his dad says.

“Oh, my god. Those Crocs. When he invites me over I won’t go into his place unless those Crocs are away. I have such bad memories with crocs that I can’t stand them now. But -”

“Wait what happened to you?” Luke interrupts you.

“No, we’re embarrassing Quinn right now, not me.” 

Luke’s eyes go wide, his mouth open, “Do you know the story?” he asks Quinn. 

“No, this is supposed to embarrass Quinn, not me,” you say again, holding back laughing. 

“Dad, how much trouble would I be in if I told this story?” Quinn asks.

“If you lived together, you would be sleeping on the couch tonight,” he shrugs. 

“Then this is the only time I’ll be saying that I’m happy we don’t live together,” Quinn says, turning towards his brother, “When she was little, she was running through a parking lot one night and tripped and tore her knee open.”

“Ok no, it’s worse than that. I was with my mom for some meeting she had to go to, and I tripped over a curb that was painted black and unlit. I had to have surgery for my knee!” 

“Yes, but. You tripped because you were wearing Crocs.” 

“Which is why I hate them. If I had on a better shoe, that never would have happened. But,” you say, Quinn knowing exactly where you’re going, “I still get to embarrass you.” 

“Please, no,” he begs, his hand back on your thigh.

“The pasta incident?” 

“I already know that I raised you better than whatever it is she’s about to say,” Ellen says, her eyes closed as she shakes her head in premature disappointment.

“So he was over my place for dinner one night when he didn’t have a game. My roommates and I had some friends over so we were all making some food, I was making a pasta dish. I’m in my room, finishing getting ready and I asked him if he could start the water boiling so the food would be ready when everyone got there.

“I’m just finishing up getting dressed and I hear him calling my name, so I go and check on him right?” you tell them, Quinns face getting red with embarrassment, “He goes, ‘should I smell gas when I turn the stove on?’ And I just look at him and I go, ‘It’s a gas stove. If you smell a little gas when you turn it on, that’s fine.’” Luke has already lost it, Quinn still has his hand on your thigh, knowing that he had this coming, while his parents just look at him and try not to laugh. 

“But, it gets better. I tell him once the water starts to boil to put the Angel Hair pasta into the pot and then cover it and I can take care of the rest. I finish getting ready and I’m assuming that if he hasn’t called me then that means that everything is going fine, which I should not have. I finally get back into the kitchen and he’s standing there with a try piece of pasta that is on fire,” you finish as his parents finally give in and start laughing. Even though he hates that story, he can’t help but smile at you, you reciprocating. “And what did you say to me when I asked why you did that?”

“I wanted to see if it would catch on fire,” he admits in a small voice, his family erupting in laughter. 

“It was something thin and frail in an open flame, babe. What else did you think would happen?” you say, placing your hand on top of his. He leans over and kisses your cheek again. He already knows his parents love you. Anyone who can make them laugh is someone they love, even if it does involve embarrassing their son. 

You look at Quinn’s parents who are beaming at the two of you. “She’s probably the only girlfriend of yours that I’ve liked, Q,” Luke says into his food, his parents nodding along in agreement.

“I’ve liked the other ones, but I like her the best,” Quinn says, taking your hand in his and kissing it . You can’t help but blush as all the worry that you had about meeting his family has melted away. 

The rest of the dinner went great. It felt like they liked you; any time you tried to make them laugh, they did, they didn’t seem to mind Quinn showing affection towards you, they shared stories about Quinn and Luke growing up that you loved. You just hope they actually liked you. What if they were faking everything? Judging by what you know about Quinn, you didn’t think they actually would, but there’s also a chance they’re really good actors. 

At the end of the dinner, you’re back to being a little nervous, but at least you had fun, right? Once you’re in the car, Quinn starts gushing, “Oh, my god, they loved you!” 

“You sound a little shocked considering you’re the one you who was saying they would from the start.” 

“Well, yeah, but I think they like you more than they like me?” he says as his phone starts buzzing with a text from Luke, “Wanna read that for me?” 

‘She’s great, Q. We all love her.’ You can’t help but blush as you read it out loud to him, the smile on his face as big as it can be.

“I told you! They love you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #vancouver canucks #vancouver canucks imagines #nhl #nhl imagines #hockey #hockey imagines

[thelittlestcheshire]

even if you have to cry, don't let your crown fall

a love letter to luxor’s ches elswood

Well, it’s finally time that I feel ready to post this, and while I’m aware it may be bittersweet with my upcoming departure, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Today I present to you a three hour Ches playlist, divided into sections and covering her entire time at Luxor, from when I first picked her up in June of 2019 all the way to now. There’s quite a few plot references, and small (and not as small) references to other muses throughout, especially when it comes to Elliot, so keep an eye out for those as well!

I’d like to thank Lex for giving me the idea to make these, and her support throughout the process because without her, these playlists wouldn’t even exist. And thank you to everyone who has gone on this journey with us, while I’m sorry I need to dip out early after this event to focus on my health, I love y’all so much.

The standard Ches tws apply (poor mental health, alcoholism, etc etc), and anything I think may be a bit abnormal / section exclusive is noted on the sections.

twist me like a key, then you open the lock | pre-luxor:

the section of time before I played Ches at Luxor, very James heavy. additional tws: Death (Sign of the Times), Toxic relationships (nothing explicit tho)

Sign of the Times (Jasmine Thompson) [ Remember everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here. ] // Sweet Ophelia (Zella Day) [ Singing like it's a full moon, careless now that he has you. Turns you on to the right songs, promises that you're hooked on. ] // Couple of Kids (Maggie Lindemann) [ Now I'm fallin' heavily, recklessly, trying not to lose my sensibility; but gravity, it pulls me into you. ] // Glowstick (Sofia Karlberg) [ You play me like a line-up; long con, you make me wise up. ] // Crying in the Club (Camila Cabello) [ Ain't no crying in the club, hey, hey, let the beat carry away, your tears as they fall, baby. Ain't no crying in the club, hey, hey, with a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy. ] // Ember (Katherine McNamara) [ Reignite; you lost your grip on me, and now I blaze wild and free. ]

nobody shows up unless i'm paying, have a drink on me cheers to the failing | summer & fall 2019:

the first time I was at Luxor playing ches, from June - October 2019

7 rings (Ariana Grande) [ Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch. Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage? ] // I'm a Mess (Bebe Rexha) [ “It's gonna be a good, good life;” that's what my therapists say. ] // OMG (Little Mix) [ Oh my gosh, I did it again. He said I broke his heart, it keeps happening. ] // Only Angel (Harry Styles) [ Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short, but I think that's what I like about it. ] // LA Devotee (Panic! At The Disco) [ Drinking white wine in the blushing light, just another LA Devotee. ] // Woman Like Me (Little Mix feat. Nicki Minaj) [ I made a few mistakes, I regret it nightly. I broke a couple hearts that I wear on my sleeve. ]

all of this emptiness i've been sharing, it never comes when i want it to | winter 2019:

the period of time Ches went home to be with her family and was away from luxor additional tws: vomiting (Habits (Stay High))

Carmen (Lana Del Rey) [ Darlin’, darlin’, doesn't have a problem lyin’ to herself ‘cause her liquor’s top shelf ] // How You Remind Me (Avril Lavigne) [ And I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle. These five words in my head scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?" ] // Playing God (Paramore) [ This is the last second chance (I'll point you to the mirror). I'm half as good as it gets (I'll point you to the mirror). I'm on both sides of the fence (I'll point you to the mirror). Without a hint of regret, I'll hold you to it ] // Habits {Stay High} (Tove Lo) [ Staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain't got no end. Oh, can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain. ] // Bedroom Window (The Pretty Reckless) [ As I look out of my bedroom window; is it all real or just fantasy? I have lost touch with what makes me human, I have lost touch with reality. ] // Impossible Year (Panic! At The Disco) [ There's no sunshine, this impossible year; only black days and sky grey and clouds full of fear. ]

i wouldn't say you got the best of me, i'd say you got me somewhere in between | spring 2020:

Ches’s return to Luxor, and the months following leading up to her mass text about Leo’s dad following the Lake Bash

3 O'Clock Things (AJR) [ Would you go running if you saw the real me? Maybe you'd love 'em, yeah, maybe you'd feel me. ] // Wild Heart (Bleachers) [ Well, everything has changed and now I can't tell what matters. I will find any way to your wild heart. ] // Rise (Katy Perry) [ When the fire's at my feet again and the vultures all start circling. They're whispering, “you're out of time.” But still, I rise. ] // Don't Stop Me Now (Queen) [ I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars on a collision course. I am a satellite, I'm out of control. ] // Princesses Don't Cry (CARYS) [ Girls, so pretty and poised and soft to the touch, but God made me rough. Girls, so heavy the crown, they carry it tall, but it's weighing me down. ] // Save Rock And Roll (Fall Out Boy feat. Elton John) [ You are what you love, not who loves you. In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream... no, no (no, no). ] // Making a Monster out of Me (Katherine McNamara) [ And I don't know how to recollect the morals that I always did possess. Don't know where its leading me. ] // We Don't Have To Dance (Andy Black) [ You're never gonna get it, I'm a hazard to myself. I'll break it to you easy. This is hell, this is hell. ]

tonight it's alright, i can see the tunnel at the end of these lights | summer 2020:

summer camp and the months leading up to a new school year

Night Owls Early Birds (Foxes) [ A wild fire inside me burns. Why do I look like I'm wear for worse? Save me, save me, go underneath the ground. ] // Too Much (Carly Rae Jepsen) [ When I party, then I party too much. When I feel it, then I feel it too much. When I'm thinking, then I'm thinking too much. When I'm drinking, then I'm drinking too much. ] // Royal Blue (Alberto Rosende) [ My regrets are a shade around my neck I know. It's torturous, and there's a burden that I can't let go. ] // Who You Selling For (The Pretty Reckless) [ And when Roger showed me I was building a wall. I've been waiting a long time, waiting a long time, waiting a long time, waiting for it to fall. ] // Heavy (Linkin Park feat. Kiiara) [ You say that I'm paranoid, but I’m pretty sure the world is out to get me. It’s not like I make the choice to let my mind stay so fucking messy. ] // The Archer (Taylor Swift) [ I've been the archer, I've been the prey; screaming, “who could ever leave me,” darling. But who could stay? ] // Everybody Lost Somebody (Bleachers) [ And there's a reason I wake up alone in strange places, a reason I see myself in a million faces, a reason I can't stop it all from changing. So come on, motherfucker, you survive, you gotta give yourself a break. ]

no cameras catch my muffled cries. i counted days, i counted miles | fall and winter 2020(/21):

a new school year, from the start of the semester right until the aftermath of the kings’ party

So It Goes (Guards) [ I don't know who I am but I do know who I'm not. I'm just looking for a friend, I'm still searching for the plot. ] // Wasabi (Little Mix) [ Love to hate me, praise me, shame me; either way, you talk about me. ] // Think Before I Talk (Astrid S) [ Maybe I should think before I talk; I get emotional and words come out all wrong. Sometimes I'm more honest than I want. ] // Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince (Taylor Swift) [ No cameras catch my muffled cries. I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there. And now the storm is coming, but... ] // Sober Up (AJR feat. Rivers Cuomo) [ Won't you help me sober up? Growin' up, it made me numb, and I wanna feel somethin' again. ] // The Show Must Go On (Queen) [ Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score, on and on. Does anybody know what we are looking for? ] // Waiting For A Friend (The Pretty Reckless) [ My head is like a prison cell, I'm all by myself. I'm waiting for my friend to come and break me out. ] // Sober (Demi Lovato) [ I'm sorry that I'm here again, I promise I'll get help. It wasn't my intention, I'm sorry to myself. ] // Eight (Sleeping At Last) [ I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut, and bury my innocence. But here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my Achilles' heel. ]

i got this handled, i don't need rescuing | spring and early summer 2021:

ches’s progress from the end of march until now

The Man (Taylor Swift) [ I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man. And I'm so sick of them coming at me again, 'cause if I was a man, then I'd be the man. ] // Princess (FLETCHER) [ But we're all going through it, so why do we do it? Why do we hide? ] // Humpty Dumpty (AJR) [ If I can't breathe, then you can't see, but aren't you excited that I'm giving you the best me? ] // My Mistake (Gabrielle Aplin) [ Am I jaded? Am I meant to feel this way?  I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game. But if I falter, well, at least it was my mistake. ] // The Climb (Miley Cyrus) [ The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking; sometimes might knock me down, but no, I'm not breaking. ] // breathin (Ariana Grande) [ Some days, things just take way too much of my energy. I look up and the whole room's spinning. You take my cares away. ] // Clean (Taylor Swift) [ Ten months sober, I must admit just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it. Ten months older, I won't give in, now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it. ] // Not a Pop Song (Little Mix) [ A hamster on a wheel that's how it feels tryna be real. These unrealistic expectations said we'll make it if we fake it. ] // Queen (Loren Gray) [ Eyes on me like I'm a prize but you better recognize I'm not your angel 'cause I belong to me. ] // The Cure (Little Mix) [ This happiness was always inside me but Lord, it took a minute to find me. ]

#musings ( playlists ) #all of my heroes died all alone ( musings ) #death tw #abuse tw #alcoholism tw #alcohol tw #vomit tw #vomiting tw #vomit mention tw

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

#dairaw21 #playlist #i may have gotten a *little* carried away... #i regret nothing #dair