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incorrectgrayson-toddquotes · 2 years

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*Playing DnD*

Dick: I roll to seduce the dragon.

Tim, DM: You seduced the dragon.

Damian: He rolled a 5.

Tim: He’s Dick Grayson. He can seduce anything anytime he wants.

Jason: True.

#jaydick #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #incorrect grayson-todd quotes #my version of Tim simps for Dick but not simp simp #more like a fanboy simp #fact: this is a Jaydick blog #posts will go back to normal when the everything is settled

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vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 2 months

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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #bruce wayne #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #he is SO ground #he’s gonna be UN-emancipated

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elecilaombre · 1 month

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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

#tim drake #batfam #jason todd #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #stehanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 2 months

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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yjcorefourenjoyer · 3 months

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AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

#Batman #dick grayson #Jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batkids #batboys #batman au #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #justice league #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam

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batfamilycannons · 2 months

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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

#batman #incorrect batman quotes #dc comics #dc #dcu #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #barbara gordon #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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ashoss · 5 months

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average patrol w hood and wing

#mm i found a new pen i like #batfam #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #dc fanart #batbros #ash's doodlings #i absolutely love incorrect quotes

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incorrectgrayson-toddquotes · 1 year

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Dick: …so Wilson and I-

Jason: SLADE WILSON and you?

Dick: What? No! Wilson from my police work.

Jason: It never bothers you that you’re on a first-name basis with fucking Deathstroke?

Dick: No? It’ll be confusing if I call Slade “Wilson”. Our MAILMAN is a Wilson. That weird red and black guy from another universe last month who wouldn’t stop talking about my butt is apparently a Wilson, too!

Jason: Just call him Deathstroke like we do to every other villains! You don’t see me calling them Oswald, Jonathan, Eddie, Harvey and Victor, do you?

Dick: You don’t understand, Jay. In Teen Titans, we do this-

Dick, grits his teeth: Slade…

Jason:

Jason: You’re no longer 15, grow out of it.

#incorrect Grayson-Todd quotes #dick grayson #jason todd #it’s actually #jaydick #that’s why Jason’s so annoyed #slade wilson

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strawberry-forest-does-stuff · 3 months

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#batfam incorrect quotes #batfam #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #red robin #red robin dc #tim drake #tim drake is a menace

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incorrectbatfam · 7 months

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[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

#source: tumblr #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw death mention

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wickedbats · 25 days

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Damian: Someone gave me their phone number, what should I do with it?

Dick: Who exactly gave you the phone number?

Jason: And, more importantly, how old were they?

Tim: Where did this take place? I’ll run their number in the database.

Damian: I’m sensing a strange vibe here. Explain.

#batbros #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

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Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

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nightwolf14292 · 15 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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