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sugar-petals · 3 years

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SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with

having a good time

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed.

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

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happyselves · 3 years

Text

Wrong Number { Lando Norris x reader one shot }

WARNING !!! EXPLICIT !!!

You were the new PR assistant of Mclaren F1 Team and you end up adapting pretty quickly even starting to have some friends in the team and you were actually at grand prix for the weekend, working on the social media stuff. Obviously for your work you had to have the driver's phone number, but you haven't had the need to use it yet.

You were chilling in your bed, in that gorgeous hotel room, writing some new plans and ideas of videos for the next day where you will have to film a video of the drivers for the youtube of the team. Your phone was lost in your bed sheet and you were on it. Usually you aren't staying up this late but grand prix's weekends were a lot of work.

Indeed you were focused, glasses on almost done with your work. As soon as you finish, content with what you did, you close your computer and put it down next to bed, searching your phone everywhere to turn it off but you saw the little notification and decided to click on it.

Your eyes went wide as you saw the picture of a penis in erection, you double checked the name ... " Lando Norris " . What was happening was that he ... you didn't know how to react before seeing the three little points telling you that he was writing to you.

" OMG I'm so so sorry that wasn't meant for you, omg omg I'm so so sorry really Oh my god "

Obviously you were still shocked, I mean it was Lando Norris, the driver you work with ... You are supposed to see him tomorrow, how are you both going to be able to move on from this. Of course he does what he wants to do in his personal time. That's not your business to tell but a dick pic ? Why were you feeling so hot right now ? Was it because of the embarrassment or was it something else ? Because your stomach makes you feel a weird sensation that extends below between your legs. You took so long to respond that the three dots appeared again.

" I understand if you don't want to answer but know that I'm deeply sorry sincerely, I don't know what to do, if I could delete it and go back like 20 minutes ago I would, I'm not like that .. I'm not someone dirty ... doing that to someone... that's not who i am at all... "

You read and another message appeared.

" I had a bet with my friends, it's so dumb I feel so bad now, please say something I don't want this to change your work environnment ... "

How could you respond to him, staying professional ? Or admitting that you were so turned on by this picture and him, that you were imagining him touching you, one hand inside your underwear and the second one holding your phone, watching this picture again and again. He was large and the perfect size like how you like it. It was too late for your brain to function properly when you already had a press to send a message your thumbs wrote on it's own.

" You turned me on "

Shit ... that's all you had written ? The realisation hit you, what did you just do ... Why were you feeling so dirty right now but you were so excited to see his response, to see how he will react, that was a bit perverted of you but it felt so good to let yourself go lose like this. Too bad it was with basically one of your bosses ... The dots appeared so quick on the screen ... that's it you went too far and you are about to get kicked out of that team.

" Turn you on ? "

...

" Ohhhh ... "

" OH "

He was freaking out, of course he was freaking out. You were about to write something when the next text came at your surprise.

" You like it ? "

Oh god, he is entering a dangerous game now, first him sending you a pic and then you lose yourself that you respond something completely out of character and now he is playing along with it and you want more, so much more.

" Yeah ... a lot ... don't feel sorry and don't feel ashamed of it "

The anticipation of his next message was burning your inner self.

" I feel proud ... I don't really know what to say actually "

You knew what to do and you did it. You took a picture of your hand down your underwears touching yourself and send him accompanied with a little description " Now we are even "

His response didn't wait long before it came.

" Stop it [YN] are you doing that because of me ? "

You giggle and the vibration of your laugh made you moan somehow, you were feeling so hot right now and your hand was moving slowly to massage you. You were trying your best to not go too fast cause you wanted the pleasure to last, but it was hard writing with only one hand so you pressed the button to dial him. You didn't know if he would pick up but you needed to finish what you started. It rang 3 times before he picked up, both of you went quiet for a moment before you talked with a small almost whispering voice.

" I didn't know if you would pick up "

Lando POV :

What was happening to me, out of everything the person I sent a pic to… it has to be her, the new girl in the team, the actually pretty sexy new girl ... whyyyy ? But I was so surprised to see that she wasn't freaking out, quite the opposite actually, she wasn't as shy and innocent as she makes us all believe and I liked that. I liked that I might be the only one to see the little demon waking up behind that angelic figure. She put me in shock when she wrote that I turned her on, she didn't have much to do and the mystery of this got me so curious and then she sent me a picture of her touching herself, saying we are even ? She was playing a dangerous game here and if I'm not careful I might become addicted to it. She threw me off one more time by calling me, I didn't know what to do and I almost missed the call before picking up. What can I say to her? I hardly speak to her during work time and I don't even know if I would remember her voice.

And then she spoke with the most innocent angelic voice yet kinda out of breath, I wanted to moan just by listening to her but I bit my lips very hard for the sound to not come out of my mouth.

" well I wasn't sure if I could to "

She giggled and I swear I felt a twitch in my pants.

" I'm glad you did "

Her voice was erratic now, and I could bet she was pleasuring herself. Dangerous, mysterious, a little dirty and slightly perverted but in a good way. Knowing that you switch that button in her brain that turns on her just by sending a picture was so exciting to me and made me want her even more. I saw her so many times, the McLaren's team outfit wasn't doing her justice but I could see her pretty curve, she was giving the body of a goddess. She was everything I was attracted to, physically and now knowing this dark side of her, mentally too. I want more, so much more again and I was imagining her touching herself just for me and my mouth opened on it's own, letting sound escaping it have my eyes closed. It took me time before I realised that I was on the phone with her again.

Lando: shittt, [ YN ] what are we doing ?

You : I don't know but I can't stop, not now it's too late

Lando : What are you doing ?

You : You know what I am doing don't you ? And that's on you ..

Damn if I could leave my room right now and meet her in her and take her I would !

Lando : I need you to tell me what you are doing cause I'm going crazy here ..

She paused before talking again.

You : I'm touching myself thinking of you, your hand on me, how warm you would feel on me, how the veins in your arms would pop up...

I bet her fingers were moving rather fast than slow right now cause she whimpered from time to time. For real this woman that I barely know is driving me crazy and knowing that she is just a couple meters away from me. I love it so much because it feels like she is a forbidden fruit, a delicious one that I can't touch but desperately want and need now that I almost had the taste of it.

You : And you, what are you doing ?

You POV

You were far from the edge but you felt the tingling spike between your legs, he could go quick or slow, the orgasm was preparing itself, sending you electricity randomly.

Lando : I'm slowly caressing myself down to go and take myself thinking of you, your hair tingling my skin, how your hands feel on my naked torso and so far you look absolutely gorgeous.

You bit your lips so hard at how he pictured perfectly what was going on in your mind, you were in symbiosis. There was a question burning your lips for so long already and you really wanted to ask him so you dare so.

You : Do you wanna come into my room ?

Lando : Are you sure ? I'm pretty sure there are some rules that we can't cross.

You : They don't need to know and even if they know if you take the responsibility they can't do anything.

Lando : Oh trust me I will take the responsibilities for it.

You : Then come to room 155, and be quick and quiet cause there are other people on the team in the next rooms.

You hung up the phone and quickly went to the bathroom, you didn't know what was going on in your head to be so bold but you needed it so much, you needed him so much. You check yourself in the mirror, you were supposed to sleep in a big oversize mclaren tee shirt with just a pj short that we could barely see because of the shirt.

Lando soon knocks on the door twice and you jump off the bed to go and open it. As soona so do so you bring him by the shirt and crash your lips into his. He pushes you inside the room and closes the door behind you, pinning you against the wall. He was kissing you with so much passion, literally eating your lips, tasting all of you like you were something rare that he will never taste again. His hands went under your shirt and he was surprised to see that you didn't have a bra. His palms found themself at home on each side of your breast lifting you before holding you from your thighs. You were mesmerized to see such a young shy man like him being so confident right now and that turns you on even more. Your legs were now crossed around him not letting him now that you had him, hands in his curls playing with them. He was like a puppy when you pulled them a little bit, breaking the kiss, closing his eyes and moaning into your ears, what a beautiful melody it was. He kissed your jaw mufflying something as soon as he met your neck.

Lando : I want you so much

You thought you misheard it and your heart went crazy like it wanted to escape your chest. He pushed both of you on the bed, making you bounce on the mattress and unlock yourself from him, you whined a bit missing his contact already and he laughed before pausing, watching you sit on your elbow.

You : What

Lando : You are so hot in that McLaren tee shirt but you would look even more perfect in one of my shirts.

You : Then next time you will give me one or I will still have one of yours but for now just come here.

And you bring him once more by the aim of his shirt, taking it off in the process of kissing again. Your tongues were shyly meeting a first contact with each other before finding their pace and dancing together. How could they fit so well with each other ? You both felt something like you never felt before and it caught you both off guard that you moaned in harmony before looking at each other.

You : I don't think I can wait that long, I need you now Lando.

Lando POV :

The way she says my name, man, I will always remember this moment, her under me looking like a greek goddess, the way her eyes were on me, eating me alive ... Like the dude I don't remember who said I now understand what it is to burn for someone cause I was burning of desire for her. I don't think I could ever get tired of her eyes begging me to touch her, her breath itching as I touch a sensitive spot. The way her body moves as I take off her shirt throwing on the ground. How she giggled when my head got stuck in my own shirt as she tried to pull it off me. I don't know what angels sound like but I'm pretty sure it's close to her voice.

When I kissed her on her neck, going down to her chest. Her skin reacts giving her shivers that she digs her nails in my back, lifting her chin in pure pleasure.

All the imagination I had of her like this became reality and it was better than what I had ever dreamt of. She was the definition of warm and erotistic and she was so vulnerable in front of me gladly giving me her approval to take advantage of her.

You POV :

You were both almost naked only your bottom part was still on but not for long, you graciously took off your shorts putting it down with your feet before you turned your focus on his grey pants showing already how big his bulge was. You didn't need to imagine how he must be because you've already seen it and you couldn't wait to see it for real. Lando stands on his knees letting you pull down the jogging letting his member finally free from any fabric. As he goes down again to attack you on your lips he takes the rest of his pants off. It was so intimate to both be naked like this, your skin feeling his, connecting like two wires cable sending each other electricity. There was something real happening between you too, there were the physic attraction yes but it was so much more than sex and you weren't even at that part yet. He was taking his time with you, testing your patience, how much of a self control he had cause you just wanted to have him inside of you, but he decided overwise, instead he went down between your legs kissing them and licking them before blowing on it which made you arch your back.

You : Stop it already I can't take it anymore ...

Lando : Shut up ... I know you enjoyed it

Oh my god, you never knew you had kink for that, him being dominante like that, his voice vibrating down your legs was extremely disturbing for you cause that made you inner self react on his own, twisting inside and making moaning louder than usual. Oh that was dangerous, you felt like he could make you cum without actually touching you and now he knows it and will use it as an advantage. His tongue was running on you, coming way too close to your inner thigh. He paused, tilting his head a bit to look at you in the eyes before connecting his lips to you. That was the hottest thing you ever experienced and now feeling his wet tongue there, eating you like you were his favorite dessert, you didn't know how long you could last. You were arching your back one more time, your breath going erratically quick. You couldn't keep your eyes open for more than 10 seconds to look at him and your hands end up finding their place in his hair, messing his curly locks, holding on to whatever you could to not cum right away. His tongue was playing with your entrance and your clitoris.

After playing for so long he tongue was becoming numb but that didn't matter to you cause you came to the edge , grooming so loud, your hands still his hair, pulling him to you to kiss him and testing yourself by the same occasion. That was the first time a man ever made you cum just with his mouth like that, usually they stay there a bit and wanted to be inside you as quick as possible but Lando was different, he was here for your pleasure, only focussing on you, putting him in second place and you heart was melting at that thought. You kiss him gently, slowly with every feeling that you could pass him on. You both needed to take a break to breathe but you wanted more again. You wanted to make him feel how he made you feel, so you pinned him down, his back finally finding the mattress and you rode him, sitting on his knees to have access to his penis. He was so ready for you that you could see precum on his tip. He was looking at you carefully with anticipation because he knew what was coming, he pushed your hair to the side to see your face already redden from the orgasm and all the heat you've just had. His hand stayed accidently a little longer than attended to your check and you lean on it closing your eyes.

Lando POV :

She tested so sweet and I felt like I've been intoxicated by her, she was driving me insane and she was responding to every touch I had on her, even right now with my hand on her cheek she was so adorable with her dark eyes, her sex face. I never felt so drowned to someone like that. I was so glad that I accidently sent her this picture, cause I never would have dreamed to have her naked on top of me where all I could think about for the past month she entered the family was her. I couldn't stop looking at me and I was relieved to see that her eyes were closed so she couldn't see how much I was falling in love with her. I don't think my eyes would be able to hide my affection for her.

You POV :

You opened your eyes again, leaving a kiss on his palm before taking two of his fingers in your mouth, locking your eyes with his. This mouvement came naturally to you as you were feeling so relaxed with him and his eyes said it all. He was so into this kind of foreplay and he bites his lips so much that the blood wasn't circulating properly on them anymore. That was the signal you needed to finally lay your hand on his stomach, caressing him until you approached his member. His lips closed so fast to not groan out loud but you could still hear him and you saw his part twitching on its own. The fact that he was reacting to every touch you made on him the same way that you were for him and you smiled too bright and confirmed to you that it was so right, you two together.

You start rubbing his tips with your thumb and his head almost hits the bedhead, his hands rubbing your thighs. You stroke him a couple times before leaning your mouth on him, licking the precum that was escaping from him before slowly taking him, your lips closing themself on him putting pressure on his edge. You were looking at him like he did with you earlier but you didn't break eye contact, going up and down and flicking your tongue from time to time, drawing the popping veins of his dick. He felt so warm in you but you didn't know if you took him deeper in your throat, you tried slowly but ended up having gag reflex so you had to pull him out. He got so concerned at the sound you just made.

Lando : Please don't if you can't, I don't need it, having you already like that enough for me ...

He paused, taking a breath of air before continuing.

Lando : You have no idea how much I'm controlling myself right now, not cuming in your mouth cause I want to feel you.

You didn't know if this man under you had any experience with women before but if he didn't, well he was so good at talking during it or maybe it was because you were so aroused right now that he could have said anything to you and you would still lose it for him.

Lando : Come here, love, I don't want you to hurt your throat, that's not part of the plan, I want to make you feel good and only good.

He took your hands, making you lay on him, your hand intertwined on top of his head, testing himself a bit as he caught your lips. He let go of your hand to grab you on the side of your hip and reverse your position, taking back things under his control. You got a surprise and a giggle escaped your mouth which made him smile so bright. You kiss the smile away pulling him again by the next with a bit of violence. Both of you were fighting for dominance at this point, your make out session proving the point, teeth ... tongue, biting each other's lips until one of you bleed. You were both tearing each other apart when you felt his tips already at your entrance, his hand positioning himself at the right place, teasing you in the process of it before pushing himself a bit in you, waiting for you to tell him the next move. You adjust yourself before nodding so he could enter deeper, but he stops again when you bite your lips and makes a painful face.

Lando : Take your time love, tell me when you are ready

He was so careful, how could you resist him and on top of that it's the second time he is calling you love ? You wished he actually could call you babe or baby, it was already intimate but you wanted to be even more on the mind level. After seconds you finally felt the pain being replaced by that nice pleasure when he adjusted himself on top of you to be more comfortable, the movement of his penis in your making you moan. He took that as a signal and fully entered you. Despite being large and long, you were so ready for him that he didn't have to stretch your walls and you weren't feeling tight for him. He felt amazing in you, you were full of him, of his passion and his desire for you.

Lando : You okay ?

You : mmh mhhh you can move

And he did start, going back and forth taking the time to appreciate every friction, every sensation, every stimulation it was providing you both. You loved how his head rested on your neck, having him breath on your skin, kissing it as he kept thrusting in you with one arm holding you back to make you more comfortable, the second arm holding both of your hands over your head. He was being soft but still so dominant and you liked it so much, you were starting to develop a serious feeling for him by each minute you were spending with him. Both of you were a mix of moan, yelp, whimps cry and groan ... you were both a mess but you were in harmony. Every deep thrust he had made you arch your back even more for him, giving him more access to you. He went down kissing and playing with your breast making you lose control due to the erogenous spot.

Suddenly he came out of you and you were missing the sensation already, he wanted to switch position cause his legs were about to give up for him. So he sits on the bed and you sit on him, positioning yourself to go down on him. He was finally back in you after a deep push that surprised you and made you cry out loud his name, but it felt weird so suddenly and you looked at each other agreeing on that weird connection you just had. It felt like he was home ... like you and him were made for each other, your body completing each other perfectly. It was again so natural between you, you kept riding him switching between a slow pace and a quick one. Your head was starting to spin as you felt your second orgasm of the night coming. He was close to the edge as well but you beat him to it as you quicken the pace, him holding you so tight as he bites your neck making you wimps. You came in a big moan, whispering his name in his ear.

Lando POV :

As she came under me she was whispering my name and it was the most sexiest and beautiful thing I ever heard. Hearing my name be said like this gives me some weird feeling in my stomach. I was addicted to this girl and I lost myself because she was mine in this instant and I was hers. I want her today, tomorrow and every day that the world wants to give us together. I felt her shaking from her release and that tense my length. I was so close but I wanted this feeling to last forever and it was starting to be painful for me . The overstimulation wasn't helping her and she was completely wrecked by me at every push I was infliging on her but I couldn't stop until she found the courage to take my face with both of her hands forcing me to look at the darkness in her eyes. She sweetly kisses me, peeking my lips multiple times before holding my jaw and turning it on the side to give herself enough space to play in my neck and under my ears. She was a rare diamond, this one for real, how in hell did I find her ? She was always finding new ways to put me in a place where sanity wasn't possible. She was playing with my ears until I heard her low voice.

You : Please Lando, I need you to cum for me baby.

As soon as the word baby left her lips I was gone, in a last thrust I released myself in her, wimping like never before. The weight that left my body right now, indescriptible, incredible. She was smiling so much and now looking at me with soft eyes. I am in love with her.

You POV :

After so long he finally came in you and the spirkes you felt in you were breathtaking, You couldn't believe that you just had this ... the best sex in your entire life. You couldn't help yourself and had to look at him with so much love after that. " Say it again " he said to you almost inaudibly for you to understand.

You : What ?

Lando : Call me baby again

And you did again, kissing him, mouth opened. It took a long time for you to finally detach yourself from him. You were both exhausted but the mutual feeling of satisfaction like you were on a cloud right now, high from all the endorphins you released with your orgasms. You could barely walk to the bathroom and you both used each other for support. How can sex can be so draining, you were going to be in trouble tomorrow but you didn't care, if you could do it again, you would one hundred percent. Despite the fact he was as tired as you, Lando took care of you and helped you clean yourself before searching his tee shirt on the ground and giving it to you. You gladly accepted it and put it on before going back to bed. You looked at him, he didn't know what to do now, becoming the shy man you first met a couple weeks ago, desperate in the look like something was really bugging him.

You : What's happening ?

Lando : I have to go back to my room

You : No

There is no way that after that you will be separated so quickly, you open your cover for him to join you.

You : You aren't going anyway mister, bring back your sexy ass next to me right now.

Relief could be felt on his face as he jogged to come and snuggle in bed with you before you both fell asleep in each other's arms, completely glued to each other. You didn't know what was going to happen in the morning when they were going to search him everywhere and find out he disappeared from his room but you didn't care at this moment, you were ready to face any consequences because after all you weren't the wrong number anymore.

Masterlist

300 notes · View notes

amesliu · 2 years

Note

I've never listened to 5sos, but now I want to. Do you have any recs or playlists?

HELLO YES

Okay so my personal fave eras are Sounds Good Feels Good and Youngblood and honestly Shes Kinda Hot EP is so fucking good its insane they don't acknowledge it more. Here's my extended takes on each era. I'm super biased no one bully me pls just my opinions.

(if you listen to my original AU playlist there's a healthy amount of 5sos on those btw)

Self-Titled: it's pop-punk as written by 15 year old pop-punk fans, obviously not their most technically competent or creative era however there's kind of a flavour of unabashed youth and naivety thats super fun. It's also one of their sluttiest eras and they literally won't stop singing abt trying to get with older women. Top songs from this era for me are English Love Affair, Social Casualty, Never Be, Kiss Me Kiss Me, Disconnected, If You Don't Know (from Don't Stop EP, find it on Youtube) and End Up Here

Sounds Good Feels Good: My fave era of all time. SO good for mentally ill queers. Feels so artsy and high concept compared to a lot of their other stuff and my personal favourite lyrics era. Good for the slightly older pop-punk enjoyer, or if your in ur late teens early 20s and just absolutely going through it. Top songs from this era for me are: Lost in Reality, Broken Pieces, Catch Fire, San Francisco, She's Kinda Hot, Story of Another Us (I'm an Mtrench Stan and they wrote this with Josh so <333), Safety Pin, and Waste the Night. Honorable mention: their movie single for Ghostbusters, Girls Talk Boys

Youngblood: My first concert was this era!!! When I tell you their comeback made feral. For the depressed and slightly horny. Definitely feels different from prev eras in a cool and mature way! Much more pop but still maintains a lot of alternative influence. Top songs: Youngblood, Why Won't You Love Me, Babylon, When You Walk Away (target special check youtube), Valentine, and Meet You There.

Calm: Was not that into this era if I'm being honest. But the singles from this era are like crack cocaine to me. Definitely even more pop than their older stuff. Good for those wanting something about established relationships. More slow-songs and less grainy textured guitar than before. IMO some of the later songs in the album blur together a bit but my friends like the album so theres that. Top songs: Wildflower, No Shame, Red Desert, Kill My Time

5SOS5: It's not even out yet IDK man. They keep singing about how much they've grown as people which is so funny to me actually but Me Myself and I, and Take My Hand are my preferred singles so far!

Ashton Solo Project: I listened to Skinny Skinny and kind of just fell off it but I feel like if you like Calm and 5sos5 you'll like Ashton's solo stuff (based on just vibes tbh)

Luke Solo Project: I would like to inject Starting Lines straight into my veins every day for the rest of my life. I've listened to a bit of the album and so far I think if you like later Marianas Trench or Conan Gray this is for you!

Misc: Take What You Want with One OK Rock is gods gift to mankind.

#not art #asked and answered #save for later

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Text

YouTube Masterlist

Check out who I’ll write for here

Check out my other masterlists here

Want more or something shorter? Check out my drabble masterlist here

DreamSMP

Dream

Dance with Me- Y/N and Clay have a sweet moment early in the morning.

Sweet as Cyanide-The whole server thinks that Y/N is being forced to stand by Dream’s side, but they couldn’t be more wrong. They all believe they’re just a sweet innocent creature, but many times people forget that sweet things can be poisonous.

Visiting Hemlock- (Part Two of Sweet of Cyanide) Y/N is finally able to visit Dream in prison.

Tightrope- Y/N and Dream have been together for what feels like forever. But when Dream says that he cares about nothing anymore, Y/N takes a moment to evaluate the tightrope walk they call their relationship.

Teacher Teacher- Just a bunch of self indulgent teacher!dream au stuff :)

Sapnap

Goodnight Kisses- The night after a date with Sapnap ends well

Stormy Nights- Sapnap takes care of their s/o that is scared of storms.

Punz

Pretty Boy- Punz takes Y/N on a date to a new biome he found while working. Y/N’s supposed to be looking around at the pretty scenery but they can’t seem to take their eyes off their lover.

BadBoyHalo

Oh Baby-After missing their period, Y/N begins to suspect there may be something else going on in their uterus.

Oh Boy- How Darryl and Y/N tell their families, friends, and fans that they’re expecting.

Wilbur Soot

Just For You- After a long day, Wilbur show’s you something special he made just for you (dreamsmp au)

Deep Trouble- Y/N’s never been good with deep water seeing as they can’t swim. But when her friends want to go to the beach, they can��t deny them their request. Trouble ensues as Y/N doesn’t tell their boyfriend of their inability to swim.

Chat’s a Snitch- Wilbur is streaming his reactions to different covers of his song when his chat informs him his s/o is currently singing his most recent release. He of course joins their stream to bully them.

Stormy Nights-Wilbur takes care of their s/o that is scared of storms.

Fundy

Stormy Nights- Fundy takes care of their s/o that is scared of storms.

Song for you- Fundy makes something special for their best friend using his knowledge of redstone and Y/N.

Character!Schlatt

All JSchlatt imagines are about the character in the Dreamsmp or they are platonic! I will not write romance for the actual CC Schlatt!

Not Your Fault- Y/N has to clear their mind after the results of the election come in. (dreamsmp)

Quackity

Missing you- Y/N gets tired of missing their best friend (dreamsmp)

Character!Technoblade

All Techno imagines are about the character Technoblade in the Dreamsmp or they are platoniclly written with the SBI Au. I will not write romance for the actual CC Techno!!

Gift of Friendship- After Techno gives Y/N some PVP lessons, Y/N is at a loss of how to repay him. Y/N comes up with an idea but is unsure of whether or not the resident Blood God with like it. (dreamsmp au)

Stolen Goods- Techno hides something of Y/N’s. Which is fine because he’s their brother. But what happens when someone else tries something similar? (dreamsmp au)

A Hairy Situation - When Wilbur and Tommy leave on an adventure, Techno and Y/N are left alone together. Y/N “helps” Techno in his potato farm and offers to braid his hair. Tensions rise as more and more time passes. (dreamsmp au)

A Dedicated Pig-(Part One of the Dedicated series) Y/N finally meets the one that everyone has been walking on eggshells over. (dreamsmp au)

Better Than a Dedicated Chicken (Part Two in the Dedicated series)-Y/N gets to see Techno again thanks to the upcoming festival in Manberg. (dreamsmp au)

Dedicated to You- (Part Three in the Dedicated Series)Techno can’t help but get a little jealous as he and Y/N visit L’Manberg and run into old friends. It’s up to Y/N to remind him who they are dedicated to.

A Dedicated and Domesticated Pig- (Part Four in the Dedication Series) Everything comes full circle when Y/N and their family travel to L’Manberg for the annual festival.

Butchered Plans-Y/N finds out about the Butcher Army and attempts to put a stop to their plan (dreamsmp au)

Best Seat in the House- Y/N comes home from a long day of chopping wood and just wants to sit down and warm up. (dreamsmp)

No Worries- Y/N’s been missing for almost a week and the one person that should be worried about them most isn’t worried at all, which upsets some people. (dreamsmp)

Protect You- Y/N tries to warn their boyfriend about the Butcher Army. The prideful man that he ignores their attempts of getting him to flee. By the time he realizes they were right, it’s too late. (dreamsmp)

Wither or Not- Techno attempts to explain to his partner just why he betrayed L’Manberg. (dreamsmp)

Fool Me Twice- Y/N is left with only one option after Techno destroys their home and their trust. (dreamsmp)

Catch Me If I Fall- What was supposed to be a simple mining trip goes horribly wrong when Y/N doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings. (dreamsmp)

Seeing Red- When Y/N gets kidnapped by the Butcher Army to lure their boyfriend to L’Manberg, Technoblade sees red and is willing to do anything to get them back… Anything. (Dreamsmp)

Calm During the Storm- Unexpected weather strikes leaving Ranboo stranded out in the open. Techno sees him and goes to him and attempts to calm him down. (Dreamsmp. Not an x reader)

Totem Troubles-Gathering materials was supposed to be easy. It wasn’t supposed to end in an almost cannon death. (Dreamsmp)

The Next Step- Techno has a serious conversation with his father about his lover, Y/N and their future plans. (Dreamsmp)

Warming Up- Philza and Techno find something in the snow that definitely shouldn’t be there and take it back to Techno’s house to warm up (Dreamsmp)

Okay, Bet- Y/N and Dream make a bet for half a stack of golden apples. (Dreamsmp)

The Blade-Y/N is forced to face their biggest fear when it quite literally comes knocking at their front door. (Dreamsmp)

Prison Break- Techno frees you from your wrongful prison sentence.

A Part of the Collection- Y/N goes missing for a while... everyone is shocked at where they find them

Prison Break- Techno frees you from your wrongful prison sentence.

Periods suck. Here’s some content about how Techno would act on your period.

Tommyinnit

Besties- What it would be like to be best friends with Tommy and Tubbo

Bring Him Home- Tommy’s big sister visits him in exile.

Tubbo

3am conversations- Tubbo appears on Y/n’s doorstep at 3am. (dreamsmp au)

Lean on Me- Y/N forces their way into Tubbo’s home after Tommy’s exile. (dreamsmp au)

Besties- What it would be like to be best friends with Tommy and Tubbo

Awesamdude

Faking Happy- The bottle Y/N has been filling with their emotions finally tips over and overflows. (dreamsmp au)

Family Matters- After spending a lot of time with Tommy, Y/N and Sam decide its time to expand their own family

Family Fatality- Y/N believed it was a bad idea from the beginning. Call it parental instincts. But unfortunately no one believed them… until it was too late.

Honey Barbecue- Tommy plays wingman for the two people on the server that genuinely care for him

SBI AU

Actually Pretty Funny-Y/N opens up to her big brother as to why she has been avoiding her other brother and his friend.

Crash- Y/N finally crashes after ignoring their needs for too long. (SBI AU)

Defending Family- When Y/N hears the school bully talking shit about their family… Well it’s no surprise when that bully gets hit. (SBI AU)

Crossed Lines-Dream kidnaps Y/N to get some leverage on their brothers. Lucky for him, it’s not too hard as they don’t really know how to defend themselves. Unlucky for him, their brothers are extremely overprotective and will stop at nothing to make sure that their sibling is safe.

Auntie Flow- When Y/N isn’t up by their usual time, Dadza goes in to check on them. He soon realizes the problem and enlists in their brother’s help to make Auntie Flow’s visit go a little smoother.

Stream Stresses-When Y/N makes fun of their brother, chat jumps to his defense by saying some not so nice things about Y/N. The mean things cause Y/N to shut down their stream with tears in their eyes, worrying their father, Philza.

Birthday Bullies- Y/N is being bullied at school. They’re able to keep the secret from her father and brothers for a while. But every cat gets out of the bag eventually.

Ghost of You- Three cannon lives. Some argue it’s too many, some argue it’s not enough. But once Y/N loses all theirs, everyone can agree that there’s never enough

Forget Me Not- The garden. That’s where it all began with Y/N and the Minecraft family… It’s unfortunate that’s where it all ended as well.

Period Piece- Y/N starts their period at the worst time possible, the one time that Philza isn’t home… but their three brother’s are.

Momma Mia- Y/N has been Philza’s best friend for the longest time. Being Philza’s friend also comes with being there for Philza’s sons and sometimes them being there for her.

Whole SMP

Full of Surprises- Y/N is the server’s sweetheart. They’re innocent and couldn’t hurt a fly… at least that’s what everyone thinks. It isn’t until someone catches them working out does the SMP finally see just how badass this person can be.

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sixeyesgojo · 3 years

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The dead reader made me sad how about something a bit funny but dark based of a comic Tapas called Undying Happiness (it’s been dubbed on YouTube too if you wants to go see it) where the main character falls in love with a guy who’s family has the ability to be able to regenerates wounds even from a skeleton. So do you think we can the cast react to a basically immortal reader?

I like this idea! I also checked out the source material and man, that was SOOO FUNNY lmaoo

Thanks for sending this ask, anon! I think my readers deserve some calm before the storm that’s about to come lol

Summary: undead!reader messing with Team Gojo because why not ;)

Characters: Team Gojo + Sukuna x undead!Reader

Content warning: major injuries (loss of limbs?), mentions of blood

A/N: This is the post anon is talking about: leaving them behind hc

Gojo Satoru

After a while, he will start making jokes about it. You’re not exactly amused at this fool joking around while you’re bleeding out. Gojo is still a little worried (it’s a secret, don’t tell anybody) because he’s firmly convinced that this technique has to have some kind of drawback but it does not. Or at least there hasn’t been any ever since you discovered this ability.

The first time, he would be slightly taken aback but not entirely surprised. You just lost an entire arm; blasted away until only your bones remained but you didn’t even flinch? How in the world?

Truth to be told, you were already kind of used to this. Having to deal with this frequently (including all the “Aren’t you more of a curse?” questions), you already half expected something of the sort of him as well.

However, after processing what just happened, he’ll just shrug. This man has seen more in his life than any other Jujutsu sorcerer ever could, starting from as early as his baby days, thanks to the six eyes. Nothing bothers him all too much.

He’ll just treat it as if you are using Reversed Cursed Technique, just like Shoko.

“Babe, what are you doing? Losing an arm again? Oh my god, that is sooo 2017. Come up with something new to shock me with!” he snickers. “Satoru, I swear you are doing this on purpose,” you got mad while holding the space your arm once held. The bloody substance dripping right through your fingers as the lost limb slowly regenerated.

“It’s really no wonder people constantly ask me why I haven’t exorcised the curse who is sticking to me!” he laughs. You pout, “Rude! I’m not a curse.”

Itadori Yuji

The first time, he is absolutely freaked out. He tries to frantically stop the bleeding in the most clumsy way ever; hands shaking so much it would have the opposite effect. You? You’re calm and you try to calm him down by saying “it’s just an arm” and he goes “JUST AN ARM? THAT’S A LIMB THOUGH???” even more frantically. He already has a few screws loose up there and he knows it but hearing you say that so casually makes him rethink all his decisions in life. It takes him several minutes to calm down. Even though he is a sorcerer now and has seen his fair share of shit happening, including the sopping hole in his chest when Sukuna ripped out his heart, this tops all of it.

After a while, he will be more at ease but still very very worried about you. He doesn’t like seeing you get hurt, even if it’s just a small scratch. Yuji is very relieved when he sees the flesh and skin building back, may even be a little bit fascinated but also grossed out. He will definitely ask you lots of different stuff about it.

“Does it hurt when it does that?” he looks at your regrowing limb. “What do you mean, Yuji?” you give him a quizzical look. He points at your limb, “That. Does that hurt?”

“Well, of course losing a limb hurts but I have had this ability for the longest time, so I got used to feeling the pain. If you mean regrowing this, then no. It tickles a little, I guess?”

The look on his face was priceless.

Fushiguro Megumi

After a while, he will still be frantic at first but then it finally clicks. His head goes “oh, right.” and he calms down, the tension visibly leaves his body, because by now, he knows it’s not that big of an issue anymore. That does not mean he ceased to help you take care of it though - and he does a great job at it.

The first time, he thinks you’ll die on him. The boy is so frantic, his mind goes blank. His chest will break out of his ribcage soon, he feels, but then he sees your calm face. Utter confusion descends down on him; what the hell was happening? Why weren’t you screaming in pain? Why was your facial expression so calm? Maybe it was a shock?

But no, you were calm all over and simply said, “Whoops?”

Consider him confused for his entire life now. He doesn’t understand what’s happening at all and his mind is set on helping you nevertheless.

"Ugh, I’m bleeding all over your uniform. I’m so sorry, ‘Gumi,” you mumble as he patches up what he can. “That’s fine, I can just wash it later,” he bluntly states, his eyes hyperfocused on your wound.

“I’ll wash it for you! I owe you that, it’s the least I can do,” you offer. “Just hold still for now, so I can contain the bleeding - don’t want you to bleed out on me. It’d be a hassle.”

“Hehe, sorry,” you say sheepishly.

Kugisaki Nobara

After a while, she will simply proceed to beat the shit out of whoever did this to you first. She will beat them into a pulp and then exorcise them (in case it was a curse). It’s a little comedic for you to see her get worked up over this after seeing it so many times but at the same time, it melts your heart a little.

The first time, the girl rushes to your aid immediately, telling Fushiguro to handle this curse. “Are you okay?” she asks you and her voice is trembling audibly. It was a stupid question to ask, she thinks. But she doesn’t expect to see you stupidly grin back at her, “Yeah, I’m totally fine, don’t worry about me. This will take some time to grow back but it will.”

Grow back? What? She’s confused. Are you pulling a prank on her? It has to be a prank, right?

“No, this isn’t a prank, I’m serious here,” you laughed.

"You really think you can hurt them without facing repercussions, huh? You are so dumb; I almost feel sorry for how stupid you are, thinking that, when I am right here. Now let’s get ready for a game because I can and absolutely will drag this out; learn your lesson!” Nobara yells at the curse and you only chuckle.

Ryomen Sukuna

The first time, he just clicks his tongue in annoyance, looking at whatever hurt you with fiercely glowing eyes. There would be hell to pay for them. He is annoyed at whatever hurt you but he knows he can fix you easily with his Reversed Cursed Technique. This was so inconvenient, not fun. Quickly, he eliminates the source of your pain and turns to you. He had expected you to have passed out. However, once he sees the wound slowly closing up, a strange grin forms on his face and he starts hollering loudly, “What the heck is that, pet? That’s amusing.”

After a while, he will just sit back and watch as you handle it yourself: free entertainment for his bored soul. He may or may not be generous enough to speed up your recovery with his own Reversed Cursed Technique but I’d rather not count on it because it depends on how he is feeling after you finished the battle.

“Oh? You seem to regenerate a little faster now, even without my help. You take more and more after me, did spending all that time with me turn you into a curse now?” the King of Curses sneers loudly. “Heeey, I’m not a curse! But I would feel better if you helped me out with it instead of sneering at me,” you pouted. For a moment, he seemed to think, “No. It’s amusing.”

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mgsapphire · 3 years

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My K-drama recommendation master list Part 2

You can find part 1 here

Look, you gave us relatively new recommendations, what about ones older than 10 years? I'll give you my top 5

Princess Hours (2006) Is a modern Cinderella story. It's 24 episodes long. Available on Viki.

Personal Taste (2010) Honestly, problematic plot if you put your mind into it, but entertaining nonetheless. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting a little over an hour, available on Viki.

Cinderella's Sister (2010) You hate every character, but there's still something that makes you watch it. Available on Viki.

Thank You (2007) was ahead of its time, it's about a single mother with a daughter who has an HIV+ diagnosis. 16 episodes long, each one lasting a little over an hour. Available on Viki.

Stairway to Heaven (2003) for a good melodrama.

What about romantic fantasies involving fantastic beings?

Guardian: The lonely and Great God(2016) A classic of the genre. It tells the story of a God who was once a man, and is being punished by immortality, unless he meets his bride, who just so happens to be a high schooler centuries later. Available on viki. 16 episodes long with 3 specials, all lasting about 75 minutes.

Hotel Del Luna (2019) it would be unfair to talk about Goblin, without talking about this other masterpiece about a being cursed into immortality and granted special availabilities along with it, but a curse is still a curse, and she must run a hotel meant for ghosts, where after centuries of being, meets a young man who is alive. Availability on Viki, 16 episodes long and each one lastz about 75 minutes.

Tale of the Nine Tailed (2020) You get to see Lee Dong Wook as another mystical being, and Kim Bum is his half brother. 16 episodes long and one special, each one lasting about 65 minutes. Available on Viki.

My roommate is a Gumiho (2021) what's up with gumihos? It's still airing. The title is self explanatory. Available on Viki and Qiyi.

Angel's last mission: Love (2019) is a cute and sad story about an angel who is about to ascend and a ballerina who has a cynical view of the world. Available on Viki. Each episode averages 30 minutes, with 32 episodes.

Doom at your service (2021) About to finish airing. It tells the story of a dying woman who wishes doom upon the world, and the doom who answers her plea. Available on viki, 16 episodes long, each one lasting about an hour.

The Scholar Who walks the night (2015) another Lee Joon Gi entry, but I swear all of his works are great, it's a period drama that tells the story of a scholar who is a vampire and the young bookseller he meets. It's 20 episodes long, each one lasting about an hour. Available on viki. Also, if you've liked Lee Soo Hyuk in Doom at Your Service, I advise you check this one out.

Tale of Arang (2012) two Lee Joon Gi entries in a row? Girl, you have to stop. Anyways, this one is another period piece of a magistrate who can see ghosts and the ghost of a young woman who doesn't remember her life, nor the cause of her death. Available on viki, it's 20 episodes long, each one lasting a little over an hour.

Look, those are fine or whatever, but I started as a K-pop fan, where can I see some idol dramas? Don't worry, I came prepared

Full House (2004) with Rain as the main character is the og idol drama in my opinion. Available on Viki. 16 episodes long, each one lasting about 73 minutes.

Imitation (2021) is currently airing, and it's literally an idol drama about idols. You can find a looot of idols too: Jeong Yun Ho and Park Seong Hwa from Ateez, Chani and Hwi Young from SF9, Park Ji Yeon from T-ara, Lim Na Young from I.O.I and Pristin, and although Jeong Ji So is not an idol, she is the main lead, and I absolutely love her, she's also in Doom at your service. Available on Viki.

Miss Panda and Mr. Hedgehog (2012) features Donghae from Super Junior, and if I'm going to recommend a Super Junior drama, I would rather recommend one featuring him over Siwon.

At a Distance the Spring is Green (2021) is currently airing too, and only has four released episodes, but I've liked it so far. Featuring Park Ji Hoon, and Kwon Dun Bin. Also, I have a lot of opinions about this show. Available on Viki.

I was going to put an IU drama but, all her dramas are good, so go and watch them all, the woman has range.

Dream High (2011) is the king of idol dramas, in my opinion. It talksa about a high school for people who want to be idols. Another one with a long line up of idols, so let me start: Suzy, IU, Taecyeon, Nichkhun and Wooyoung from 2PM, Ham Eun Jung from T-ara. Leeteuk (SuJu and Chansung (2PM) make cameos. Similarly to Imitation, Kim Soo Hyun is not an idol, but he's the main lead. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting about 65 minutes. Available on Viki.

Wow, quite a few, but they all seem rather popular, do you have some underrated gems? I'm going to have to go down memory lane, but I do

The Queen's Classroom (2013) This one feels like a fever dream, because I'm aware it exists, I watched it back when it first aired, but I can't find it anywhere now. It's based on a Japanese drama of the same name. It's about a strict but warm hearted teacher and her students' lives and struggles. 16 episodes long. DM me if you find anywhere to watch it.

1% of Something (2016) is a really cute drama, the chemistry is off the charts, and if you're looking for skinship, this one is the one for you, underrated arranged marriage kdrama, I'm telling you. It's 16 episodes long, averaging 45 minutes, and it's on Viki.

I'm not a Robot (2017) has a really cute plot, not underrated per se, but not hyped enough. It's 32 episodes long, each one averaging 30 minutes. Available on Viki.

Do you like Brahms? (2020) is a music themed kdrama, really cute and wholesome. If you like 2setviolin and watched their critique on their YouTube channel, let me tell you, the cast actually knows how to play violin and stuff, and there's an actual child prodigy in there. It got so much hate bc of that one yt video. It's 16 episode long, each one lasting about an hour. Available on Viki.

Solomon's Perjury (2016) a good reflection on youth and the pressure society has. 12 episodes long, lasting about 63 minutes each. Available on Viki.

The Greatest Love (2011) is a super entertaining TV show, and just supper funny and cute. 16 episodes long, each one lasting around 65 minutes. Available on Viki.

Two Cops (2017) if you like Kim Seon Ho, I think this was his TV acting debut. It's a hilarious action comedy TV show. 32 episodes long, lasting around 30 minutes. Available on viki.

Do you have any recommendations where time traveling or time is central to the story?

Alice (2020) look, I can't give you a full explanation because it's too mind bending. Let's leave it at detective meets his mother. Available on Viki.

Signal (2016) The premise is similar to that of the movie Frequency (2000) in which there's communication between the past and the present via technology. The plot is based on the real Hwaseong serial murders. Really interesting. Available on Netflix. If you like the premise of communicating with the past via technology Call (2020) is a Korean thriller movie available on Netflix.

Chicago Typewriter (2017) this one is about reincarnation but we get to see both timelines. Available on Netflix.

Tomorrow with you (2017) Time-traveling but make it ✨depressing ✨. The story of a man who time travels, and how that ability messes with his marriage. Available on Netflix.

What about historical dramas? I don't really watch those, but here are some I liked

The Moon Embracing the Sun (2012) is one of the few I've finished. It's really good, it follows the love story of a king. Available on viki. 20 episodes long, each one lasting about an hour.

Gunman in Joseon (2014) Am I recommending you this one because of Lee Joon Gi? Maybe. It has 22 episodes, each one lasting about an hour. Available on Viki.

The Crowned Clown (2019) a story of the Prince and the Pauper if I must give you a description that is relatable, but if you know the book titled Skogland, it's closer to that. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting about 80 minutes. Available on Viki.

I'm a little ashamed to say this, but do you have any BL? I do, I do

To My Star (2021) is a story about an actor and a chef, and how they learn to cohabit after the actor is forced into hiding. You can watch either the movie version or the drama version, both available on viki.

Color Rush (2020) is a modern romance fantasy about people called Monos who can't see any color unless they meet their Probes, however this may turn dangerous as the Monos may experience obsessive behavior, so what happens when a young high schooler meets his probe?. You can either watch it on its drama or movie version. Both available on viki. By the way, if you're a long time deobi and was wandering what happened to Hwall, he's one of the main leads.

You Make Me Dance (2021) follows the story of a university dancer who is in debt and his debt collector. Available on viki in both versions. The movie is 107 minutes long.

Just Friends (2009) is a short film, but ahead of its time, if you can't tell by the year it was released on. It's a cute story about a man who visits his boyfriend in the military. I found it in dramacool.

That's all from me, if you have any specific genre or them you felt I didn't add in, do feel free to tell me.

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

#liam payne #whyyyy so confusing #niall horan #louis tomlinson #YES BABE please do bake off now PLEASE #Harry styles #looking so good even though those shorts are AWFUL IMO hilariously frumpy #love that #14 jun 21 #overall I do not think liam should get any more dogs #but a small dog he took everywhere with him would be ADORABLE #(more dogs than he has previously owned I mean he currently has no dogs)

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inkmemes · 3 years

Text

this country ( 2017 - 2020 ) sentence starters ↪ taken from the bbc mockumentary. trigger warning for mentions of religion, death, sex. alter as you see fit ♡

“i like the underdog.”

“don't be a fucking dick.”

“everyone comes together on days like today and just forgets their utter hatred of each other.”

“everyone who's anyone's going to be there and there are people from my past that would love to see me slain.”

“there's a tea rooms there and under the counter they've got a panic button and if i take one step inside, they can press that. the police will be there in three minutes.”

"he whatsapped me the other day asking us to go laser quest with him and i ... well, i clicked on it by accident, didn't i? so he knows i've seen it."

"i mean, i get it, but it's not making me feel nothing."

“it's baffling. i'm baffled by the entire situation, if i'm honest.”

“what the actual fuck? what the actual fuck? you have fucking lost your head, mate. you have lost your fucking head.”

“when i get hold of you, i swear to god i will fucking deck you.”

"someone's just been throwing plums at my house. i'm going to kill them. i can't believe it. i can't believe it. all over this. plumming on here, plumming on that. plum on the sofa, look! there's nothing left that hasn't been plummed."

“i've had a target on my back since the day i was born.”

“thank you very much, enjoy your free potatoes.”

“do you know how small your brain is?”

“hogwarts is that way, dumbledore.”

“he used to say i looked like the puppet off the dolmio advert.”

“there's a kid crying over there. do you want me to...? i can tell him to shut the fuck up if you want?”

“he genuinely looked like a moomin.”

“on my first day of karate club, karate master goes to me, [name], i don't know why you're here because i can't teach you anything. if anything, you should be teaching me." and just gave me his black belt.”

“you know that little old blind man? yeah, when i was punching him in his face, the lens from his glasses broke and cut my knuckle.”

“some things are just best left in the past, where they belong.”

“what's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?”

“it was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.”

“i lied so much i still don't know what's real life and what's plain lies.”

“i'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.”

“he likes to be the only person on the road, so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.”

“nasa went through hundreds of them in the '60s. and now every time i see a really bright star in the sky i can't wish on it, cos in my head i'm thinking, ‘that's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it.’”

“you absolute traitor. that's my cheese - it's my fucking house!”

“don't you dare eat that cheese. you eat that and i will smash this. i promise you, i will smash you with this.”

“fuck! you switched them!”

“yeah, i can see it's fucking burnt, sherlock.”

“i honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.”

“if you knock on someone's door, don't take no for an answer. get into their house. if they say, ‘leave my house’, stay. and if they say, ‘i'm going to call the police’, you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.”

“she looks like uncle fester.”

“right. i'm going to piss in their flowers, then.”

“you really need to go home. your mum's called the police and everything.”

“you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.”

“in business, there will always be setbacks. i don't drink my own juice, fray bentos doesn't eat his own pies. but that's business.”

“do you know what, i don't actually want to play this any more, because it is actually very, very boring.”

“i'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me, so don't get the wrong impression.”

“i genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.”

“it's fate her moving across the street.”

“the problem with finding a girlfriend in the village is that most of the girls you meet round here are old-age pensioners.”

“yeah, i am looking for a relationship, but thing is i've just got so many trust issues, yeah, with being fucked over massive in the past, so no matter how much i get close to someone now i'm thinking in the back of my head, ‘shit, am i going to get fucked over?’ because i've been fucked over in the past massively. my last relationship proper fucked me up.”

“i went through a really dark phase. listening to papa roach and just blowing everything up with them little french bangers.”

“shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!”

“i don't like the man. i know he's my uncle, but i don't like him.”

“it's just malicious lies, that's all it is.”

“i'm not saying i've got a cruel heart, but if she ain't willing to take me as i am rather than the monster i've become, then she can literally just jog on back to sea with all the other fish cos i don't care.”

“what do you look for in a boyfriend?”

“the key to dating, yeah, is the two rs and the three ts. 'respect, rapport, and talking, talking, talking.' don't ever let that ball hit the ground. good relationships are built on great conversation.”

“on a date, you've got to tell them all the interesting stuff about you, because that's what they'll be interested in.”

“he said to me, he goes, ‘you can't smoke on here.’ i said, ‘i'm not smoking, i'm vaping.’ the look on his face when i said that. i don't think he knew what vaping… what a vape is.”

“you would make me the happiest mouse if you say yes and become my spouse.”

“here's a tip, [name], next time you take a chick out on a date, don't bore her to tears.”

“roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers, the third one's for you.”

“get out of my way, pipe cleaner.”

“[name] phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying, ‘come quick,

there's a hedgehog in the garden that looks exactly like grandad.’ so i got up, i got dressed and i ran over to [name]'s as fast as i could and then i just stopped in the middle of the street at three in the morning and thought, ‘what the fuck am i doing with my life?’

“you're joking me? because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.”

“oh, let me get a song up on youtube. you're going to absolutely love this, [name]. here we go… listen to this. oh, for fuck's sake, advert.”

“let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.”

“where do i see myself in five years? well, me and [name] will have a flat in the middle of the village and all of our furniture will be inflatable and we'll have cable and it will pay for itself, because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails, because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.”

“is this about the calippo, still? because you offered to buy me that.”

“if he wants to go, good luck to him, i say. i reckon he thinks that i can't live without him, which is a laugh, because he went a whole weekend away once and i got on all right. i just ended up following this cat around the village.”

“i've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day, instead of worrying about other people.”

“how about you say sorry? sorry for the massive knife that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.”

“oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back, feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.”

“can i just ask you an honest question? why would you want to leave the village when we've got a pub and a shop?”

“i think you don't know how lucky we have it to be doing nothing with our lives, like. we're all going to die, anyway, so what's the point in doing anything?”

“i want ownership of the words fucknut and dickmilk.”

“i had this come through the post. and i've got a few concerns about it. firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant. not the sort of guy i was expecting, if i'm honest.”

“this is starting to stress me out a little bit.”

“why are you trying to stress me out? you know i'm already stressed out as it is.”

“the bloke that used to live in there, right, kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night. and he'd go to the fridge and find that food was missing from the fridge. so he thought, ‘i'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out.’ and he found an entire family of peruvian panpipe buskers just living up there. and he thought ‘i'm just going to leave them to it, ‘cos they're not really doing me any harm.’ and then, a few years later, he thought, "well, i'll just go up to the attic to check on them. ‘see if they're all right.’ and it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning. yeah, he doesn't live here any more.”

“some people will always be scared of me, and i can't change that, no matter how nice i am. but there's a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.”

“don't really like catching up. it's not my thing.”

“i just watched this video of this girl doing a random act of kindness on youtube. she basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till. and this old man was, like, about 90 years old. and he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin. and he just starts bawling his eyes out. he's like, ‘you're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life.’ i just thought... i want to make someone feel like that. ‘cos that's... i really… that's what i want to do.”

“i'm not dead. just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.”

“you know, correct me if i'm wrong, but four texts a day is complete madness. no-one can keep up with that.”

“i am doing kind things selfishly.”

“i was at midnight mass one year, right, someone got tipped off i was there. as i was coming out the church, someone tries to shoot me with a crossbow.”

“well, i haven't seen the film, have i? that's why i came here - to watch the fucking film - like a normal human being.”

“i've made an effort by coming here tonight. i didn't want to come.”

“i had to wheel him here from his house in an asda trolley, cos he was just too heartbroken to move.”

“sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more. like blockbuster's. i just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone, and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong, and then you realise it was your fault all along.”

“i thought you said you wanted to fix things.”

“she wanted it to go that way, and it just wasn't gonna go that way. she even got me thinking that they'd get back together… ..but that's manipula.... manipulative people... do that. and he's better off without her.”

“that wasn't much to write home about.”

“it's fucking dead, isn't it?”

“basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters, and i don't know who's doing it - and i am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor, so, if somebody attacks me from the sides or snipes at me from an upstairs window, i am fucked - but my hearing is excellent, see? so i just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar, and i'll be fine then.”

“if you don't like the work, the circus is in town and they're always looking for clowns.”

“his soul is just going to crumble to dust.”

“this really is not a good situation for me. a physical threat is something that i can deal with, but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.”

“just really fucked in the head, mate.”

“what have i done? i haven't done anything wrong.”

“do you know how sad that is? that is so, actually, sad. that makes me sad for you, that you can't take a joke.”

“i think i just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.”

“your finger's going up my arsehole, mate.”

“i'll hold the back of your head, so you don't bash yourself.”

“when i lie in future, i don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is, cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.”

“i'd quite like a coke.”

“it's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because… like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all… ...the pieces smashed up.”

“like, this one time i started a fight club in the village hall, and i got a black eye from beating myself up. but it made my enemies think, ‘fuck, if she can do that to herself, what the fuck can she do to me?’”

“i'm absolutely 1,000% sure i've broken it in two places.”

“i knew this day would come.”

“i should be in tk maxx, getting the bargains that i deserve.”

“unlike you, [name], i'm not a fashion disaster.”

“i'm still warm in my grave, and she's sucking off the pallbearer.”

“you know, it took me ten years to get over [name], and i only went out with her for half a day.”

“i swear to god, if i see him here again, i swear to god, i will have no hesitation in just going up to him and just planting one on his face.”

“right, then keep your nose out of my business, yeah? nosy old cock-womble.”

“[name]’s attitude to me is puzzling. if i walk past her in the street

and say hi, she'll tell me to fuck off. yet every year, she sends me a really sweet, nice christmas card. you know, there's just no consistency there.”

“he's good-looking up close, isn't he?”

“don't show me any weakness, because i will take advantage.”

“no, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.”

“when i asked him, he just said, ‘come to my office now,’ which means we're in the fucking shit, cos we're always in fucking shit.”

“i shouldn't be paying you at all.”

“i've always had a son. i talk about him all the time.”

“he's my son. he's not my dog.”

“it reminds me of the wicker man. i don't really know why.”

“i just find it weird how you can be so close to someone and they can be such a big part of your life, and then the next minute, you're just sort of strangers in the night.”

“i don't want the emotional implications.”

“well, about five years ago, i sold my birthday to my mum for about 200 quid, which means my mum's legally entitled now to never celebrate my birthday ever again for the rest of my life. not even, like, a happy birthday cup of tea, or a moonpig card, nothing - which is the worst decision i ever made in my entire life.”

“he deserves that anyway, because he's been sexting my nan, so…”

“what's this surprise? cos i need to know whether it's going to be worth this walk.”

“i always see them banners above the motorway, and i always thought, ‘who the fuck does them?’ well, now i know. people like me.”

“did you know you can't get stung by a stinging nettle if you grab the leaf top and bottom, like that? it's only when you touch it on the sides, it stings. agh, actually, that stung, then.”

“pez dispenser, they're cursed. they are, i'm not even joking. honestly, when i had one of them, i had the worst bout of bad luck i ever had in my life.”

“i swear down, it's a short cut. it might be a pleasant walk, we might enjoy it.”

“i'm not scared of the fox twins. i'd just like to sit them down and ask 'em plainly, ‘look, guys, what is going on? ‘cos this has just gotten completely out of hand now. you know, stop walking on your knuckles, stand up straight, be the best version of you that you can be. get a job, even. there's a trolley boy who works at tesco's, you know, who may as well have been raised by wolves. if he can get a job, you guys can walk it.’”

“yes, there has been talk of strange goings-on in the woods, ghost sightings and the like. but… ...they're never from particularly reliable sources.”

“i live with a ghost. there's a ghost in that house. he's like a civil war cavalier, with all the hair and the hat and all that. and every time i walk into the living room, he doffs his cap. and on his shoulder, he's got this crow that barks at me. it means i spend less time in the house, really. not because of him, because he's-he's quite peaceable. but the crow is malevolent. and i'm not having that. i can't share my house with a malevolent bird.”

“that's haunted as fuck.”

“am i going mad here, or does that, to you, look like that's where just ghost will hang out all the time?”

“look at him, little red riding twat.”

“if he's got an attitude with me, i swear to god, i'll just grab the steering wheel and drive us all into a wall.”

“it's a bit annoying, actually. cos this is not the first or the second time i've had to tell you, really, is it?”

“his sparkle has just gone.”

“you know my dad actually wrote the song wonderwall on the back of a beer mat in the space of ten minutes, don't you?”

“i've just got a tiny, tiny, tiny little favour to ask you.”

“when i think of [name], i think of someone who is very loyal. and very, very stupid. sort of more stupid than loyal. sort of 70% stupid, 30% loyal, probably. because she's very loyal. but extremely stupid.”

“do you know what? i actually don't think he loves you at all and i don't think he's ever loved you.”

“all right, that's harsh and unnecessary, but fine.”

“frankly, she is behaving like the antichrist.”

“i literally just got here.”

“you are such an unemotional slab of ham, [name].”

“i've got so much shit on that man you would not believe.”

“there's something in my eye.”

“i just can't quit him, you know?”

“yeah, we might have a fiery relationship, but when we're together, it's just… it's just pure chemistry, isn't it?”

“i'm not proud of it, believe me. but at the end of the day, i'm a very vindictive person, you know? it is what makes me me.”

“i basically went out and bought an alpaca off gumtree for £500. of all the mistakes i've made in my life, that was possibly the largest. definitely the physically largest.”

“yeah, i really don't wanna talk about that.”

“her only loyalty is to herself, staffies, and the tv channel dave… ...which, in my opinion, is a tv channel made by knuckle-draggers for knuckle-draggers.”

“i can't move on till i've seeked revenge, unfortunately.”

“if that was in france, that would be fine, but we're not in france.”

“the only thing we had in common, really, was stealing, and that was more my thing that i got him onto. but it just goes to show, you know, some friendships last and some friendships don't, but that's just the way it is.”

“you know it was me that got you sacked, don't you?”

“the thing i learnt about friendship is, you gotta accept each other's flaws, no matter how toxic they may be.”

“shit-stirring from beyond the grave.”

#rp meme #rp prompt #rp starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #this is the nichest meme ive made #but this show is so fucking funny okay

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free-pool-trash · 4 years

Note

Okay, can I requests all free! boys (maybe add for albert and kaede too) with s/o who is youtuber (they s/o is pretty famous though) and what kinds of video would they like to do together. I love your writing and tq for it and don't forget to stay safe🥰🥰

Hey lovely! 💕 i love this request so imma pump it out rn (hey Free! queens haven’t seen yall in a while, how we doing? 😎)

Im just gonna do for style 5 + Albert and Kaede for now but let me know if you want the rest 😉

This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot so lets get into it 🤩

Did i proof read this? No ❤️

Haru:

He’s that boyfriend who supports you in everything you’re doing while simultaneously having absolutely no clue what you’re doing

For example; vlogging absolutely boggled his mind at first

“Who are you talking to?”

“Oh I’m just vlogging, do you wanna say hi?”

“Vlogging?”

“Yes, say hi.”

“BuT tO wHo?”

After a while he gets used to it though

“You’re vlogging? Hey guys.”

You have to beg him to be in videos otherwise he won’t do it

When he does though it’s usually a good old “How well do we know each other challenge” and sometimes you can even manage to rope him into one of those “picking each others clothes” videos

He’ll make appearances in vlogs though

Actually quite likes holding the camera

He ends up seeing fans in public and when they come up to him he’s like “👁👄👁 how do you know who i am?” But after the initial shock he’s really nice to them

Will facetime you so they can say hi

Absolutely 100% gains a fanbase of his own

All the comments under your videos with him are the funniest things ever with some gems such as:

“Haru really said 😐(😍🥰)😐”

“POV: ur the camera seeing Haru actually smiling ❤️👄❤️”

“#saveharu”

Makoto:

Supportive king!!!

Hands down your number one fan

He’s always offering to help you with your videos

Is always down with being in videos with you

His favourite thing is making videos like story times and doing gaming videos with you

Which are usually pretty chaotic and funny

The gaming videos provide your subs with a lot of cute y/n-makoto content

“Babe I suck at this”

“No you don’t, you’re the best” he says it really quietly while smashing buttons and taking his game very seriously

Vlogs are the best too, he talks to the camera like he’s on a FaceTime

“Oh! Hey guys, how are you all doing? I hope you’re doing good.”

Your fans love him

You’ve earned the “mom and dad” title

Since they love him so much you often let him take over daily vlogs

“Hey guys. Y/n isn’t feeling great today so you’re stuck with me!”

The comment section:

“Hi dad 🥺😭”

“Imagine having a boyfriend who loves u enough to literally do your job for you when you’re sick 😭😭😭😭”

“Whose gonna tell y/n that her boyfriend contemplated bringing home like 5 different cats 😳”

Everyone wants you to give him an e-boy transformation

You’re still trying to convince him

Rei:

I think he’d really enjoy doing videos with you

Not camera shy at all

The man has a lot to say

His partner has a beautiful online presence and he’s super proud of you!

He’d love making videos that have a little bit of competitiveness to them

Loves a challenge

Playing boyfriend tags with him is stressful af because he has the date of everything you’ve ever done memorised

Absolutely BODIES the swapping clothes for a day videos

He’s a really good sport and your fans really like him

“Rei looks better in a skirt than I do, you guys...”

“I simply can’t help my calf muscles, my love.”

Not great with vlogging

The comments you get:

“Rei when the vlog camera comes out in the mall 🙈 i do not see🙈”

“I wanna see them wear matching outfits 👀”

“Y/n please ask Rei to start up a studying channel 😭”

You actually rope him into making a study tips video with you

To be fair he does most of the talking and you just listen and look at him like 🤩🥰

He loves interacting with fans

He’s always liking and commenting on fan edits of you on Instagram

Nagisa:

Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien.

Most chaotic baby on camera

Craft! Videos!

Also chaotic challenges

King of gaming videos

He also is willing to let you put make up on him

“Nagisa, I’m begging you, please sit still.”

Absolutely does not sit still but gives you a lil kiss

He’s so sweet on and off camera

Most of your vlog content is just him doing golden retriever boy stuff

Your audience adore him

Videos come up in your suggestions and they’re all like, “Nagisa being chaotic for ten minutes straight”, “Y/n trying to get Nagisa to pay attention for 4 minutes.”

He gets so excited when your doing videos together, “Yeah guys, this is actually my channel now. I’m taking it over.”

“No he isn’t.”

“Yes I am. Sorry babe but you’re fired.”

Mr. Steal your channel

Rin:

😍😍😍 am i right?

First of all; he’s such a heart throb

Your fans are obsessed with him

He always wants you to work out with him so you decide to get some content out of it

Video gems like “Eating like my olympian Boyfriend for a week”

“RinRin, how the fuck are you even still alive?”

“It’s a salad, Y/n, not a bowl of air.”

“Who the fuck orders a salad at a restaurant, Rin?”

“I’m so sorry that you guys have to hear this profanity.” He says to the camera as if he doesn’t swear every five seconds

Those are usually the types of videos you guys make together

The comments you guys get when he’s feeling lovey in a video

“Oh to be Y/n 😓”

“Alexa, play sweater weather by the neighbourhood”

“The way he looks at her. Im in pain.”

“If they ever break up, i want you to put me down.”

Vlogging at the movies is hilarious because 99% of the time when you come out he’s crying

“Guys please stop telling Rin to take his shirt off on camera, he literally can’t say no and it’s distracting.”

Rin swimming content is highly requested

And what can you say? You give the people what they want 😌✨

Albert:

He’s into it

Once the camera comes on, this man becomes a comedic legend

“Hey guys, today we’re uh, doing something. I’m gonna be honest I don’t know, I didn’t ask. My girlfriend pulls out the camera and I do what I’m told.”

“We’re going to give you different aesthetics.”

He’s like 🤗 “oh okay go for it”

Very complient

He’s down for absolutely anything

“Content is content baby”

Sometimes he just comes into your video room and hijacks your videos

“Thought I’d pop in and say hi”

And by pop in and say hi he actually means sit beside you and look at the camera like he’s on The Office

Oh my god do the fans love this man

He trolls them

He sees comments like, “Y/n is so cute! 😍” and he’s like, “That’s why she has a boyfriend.”

They love him though and if he sees them out in public he’s super sweet

Kaede:

(Im ngl this dude kinda scares me)

Probably has to be coaxed into making videos with you

I get the impression that this man is cocky on camera

Did someone say ✨pda✨

“K, I’m making a video”

“So?”

Doesn’t really interact with fans

Or pay too much attention when he’s actually filming with you

He doesn’t really care but he does it because it makes you happy

He’s more responsive when it comes to vlogs

“I’ve convinced y/n to come to the pool with me, she doesn’t swim but she looks hot in a swimsuit. Not as good as I do, but still.”

You have to cut a lot of the stuff he says out of videos

He makes so many innuendos

✨comments✨:

“It’s the way Kaede doesn’t care about literally anything for me 🙈”

“Someone please check on Y/n, she’s TIRED 😩😓.”

#free x reader #haruka nanese x reader #makoto tachibana x reader #rin matsuoka x reader #rei ryugazaki x reader #nagisa hazuki x reader #albert free!#kaede free!

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

Blank Space

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 2

"There once was a girl known by everyone and no one"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,864

Warnings: medium level angst I guess, and language as always.

A/N: writing this was challenging and I complained about this for like half of my mutuals lol. However, I did find the perfect song to mix with the title track obv and it was perfect to show their past. You will learn more about their past in future chapters.

A/N: thanks to @chrissquares for making me beautiful dividers especially for this series and @nacho-bucky for beta reading it all! A reminder to check out the song before reading/during!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

song on Spotify and YouTube

"You know him? Y/N, why didn't you tell us?" Steve scolded you as you sat in one of the rooms, in front of him, Natasha, Thor, and Tony. This felt more like an interrogation than a talk.

"Is this an interrogation?" you looked him dead in the eyes, you saw him falter.

"It doesn't have to be if you don't lie to us again."

"I never lied to you."

"You held back information." Natasha said then.

"Fine, yes I know him, I knew him." You sighed, remembering the night you met him, before everything went wrong.

You were walking through the park in the night, was it dangerous? Of course, but you needed to clear your head. That was when you saw him, sitting on a bench in the rain. He was different, you knew that the minute you noticed him- it wasn't even the weird attire he wore, but rather the feeling that came along with him, you didn't feel threatened and you have mace in your bag, so you approached him.

"You will get a cold if you keep sitting in the rain, don't you have an umbrella?" he looked at you and you got shivers from his blue eyes.

"No, I will be fine. Thank you my lady for your concern." God was his voice enchanting. Curiousity got the better of you then.

"You saw him on earth and you didn't say anything? He is not allowed to be here." Tony said, his fingers fidgeting with his cuffs.

"I knew him long before the invasion happened, it wasn't near the time when I became an avenger, or on shield's radar at all." You tried to explain yourself to them. You never lied to then, you never thought you'd see him again especially in the tower. "Look it is all in the past, there is no reason to talk about it."

"You were mad when you saw him, why was that?" Natasha glanced at you, you knew she would read you if you lied.

"Well, I knew him for a while. But he is the god of lies, I don't like being lied to. So that says it all." You shrugged it off.

"So you won't tell me where you're from?"

"I told you, I'm from England."

"No you're not, you're a pretty lousy liar you know?" you smirked at his taken aback look.

"I think you'd be surprised."

"Nope, I can already tell- you're a bad liar. Or you might be good, but I'm better." He gave you a curious look as the rain kept falling around you, the umbrella you were both sitting under protected you.

"He never mentioned you, or going to earth at all. When was this?" Thor asked you.

"Around 2009" it was so long ago, you now realized, but it still felt close to you.

"You should take my umbrella." You suggested to the man but he just laughed as you sat beside him. "What? You said that you need to go, and I live closer than you, I'll be just fine without it, the thunder doesn't scare me."

"I am not quite fond of it actually. But you should get home, it is getting late." He smiled at you and you got up.

"Let's make a trade then, you will take my umbrella" the two of you stood now. "And you will give me your name."

He eventually took the umbrella with a smile, his fingers were cold when they lightly brushed yours, and you went your separate ways.

"You have no reason not to trust me, I never saw him again after 2011!" you just wanted them to understand that it is all behind you.

"I never said I don't trust you, but kid why would you hide this from us?" Steve asked you, you were pretty close, he was kind of like a protective older brother to you- ironic since he is pretty reckless and Bucky is saner than him, but he cared about you.

"It isn't important Steve, he is a liar that isn't new to any of us. It's nothing personal or important anymore."

"Kid it seems pretty personal-" Tony started to say.

"Well it's not!"

"Okay fine, but just know that he will be here for a while until we figure out and deal with this hydra shit. Then after that Point Break over here will take him away." Tony was sincere now, you could see the worry in his eyes, you knew he was affected by the invasion the most. "So take my advice, and make sure that it really isn't personal."

You nodded to him.

"You are however more than welcome to throw him in a little nightmare, I'll pay you." He smiled and you chuckled.

"What are you saying Stark? My lady," oh you haven't heard that in a while. Fuck. "Do not give my brother nightmares, however you plan on doing that." He looked you up and down, and it was as if you could read him like an open book, you didn't have to use any of your powers because you already knew exactly what he thought in his head.

"I'll stay away from him. Just make sure he does the same."

You looked innocent, not harmful, the kind of girl you would offer help to with even the smallest stuff- a good girl. That's what they all saw before getting to know you, and maybe that was you before you got these dark powers, you knew you missed the old you but you could barely remember her.

•

"Are you certain that's what they said?" Natasha asked you from the kitchen table as you made her pancakes.

"I know, it sounds weird but it's Asgardian, they have weird names. Plus I doubt they were lying, they were sleep deprived and I can assure you they have been through a lot of stuff before I started to actually talk to them. Ready?" you looked back at her and she nodded.

You threw the pancake back and by the small 'yay' Natasha let out, you didn't have to turn back to know she caught it with her plate.

"Well, I think I'll go and make them write it down because I am certain we are pronouncing it incorrectly."

"Well I tried! Their accent didn't help at all!" you defended yourself.

"You're still pronouncing it wrongly." You froze, turning around to look at Loki and Thor who walked towards the kitchen. "One would think it was made up by how horribly you ruined the word. How would you know they were truthful after all? What could you have possibly done?"

You held his gaze before deciding to not retort back, you ignored that curious familiar look. He has some nerve to talk. You sat in front of Natasha with your own batch of pancakes, the room was quiet before Thor chimed in to break the tension.

"Are those the cakes from the pan? Oh they are tasty! Would you mind making me and my brother some, Lady Y/N?" Thor was actually nice, how could you say no?

"Of course!" you got up with a smile. "Oh, but I'm afraid there isn't enough batter for the two of you I'm afraid."

You let a small frown take over your face, and you saw Natasha's small smile when you turned to make Thor some pancakes.

"You are a bad liar." Loki pointed out and you didn't have to think.

"I fooled you." Soon enough you turned around to give Thor his pancakes with a smile, pouring the rest of the batter in the sink before sitting down to eat. "Oh and Thor, this is the second warning about what we discussed yesterday, I won't hesitate."

"Very well, however you never did tell me what-"

"It's not important." Thor glared at his brother.

"Brother please be more civil, it's for your benefit." You felt Loki's gaze on you as you ate.

"Do tell me brother, how is it for my benefit?" Loki chuckled.

"Well, you have wronged a lot of people here, and so lady Y/N agreed to not harm you if you stay away. We are here to help my friends!" Thor's booming voice alongside his hopeful smile contrasted his brother's.

You should have known he would test it.

"Oh, and how can she harm me now?" the minute Loki uttered these words you glanced at him for a moment, and the next thing he knew, his heart beat loudly as he fell down from the portal in New York, terrified when he saw the Chitauri around him, one monster opened its mouth and Loki was a moment from dying in its clutches when he heard Thor's voice.

"Enough!" Thor said sternly and Loki was back in the kitchen, disoriented as he took in his surroundings. You only nodded at Thor before you kept eating. Loki disappeared a moment later with a green shimmer.

"I don't like using my powers Thor, but if you care for your brother keep him civil." You said, sorry that Thor had to get offended by it too.

"I understand, but he is here to help right now, mere comments are the least harmful things he could do, there is no need to take it to heart." He put a hand on your shoulder and it was warm enough to get you to agree with him. Stopping hydra should be your top priority.

•

"I hate it when he does that." Tony groaned at the marking on the ground just outside of the compound.

Thor and Loki were now back at the palace gates, they heard a call, and Loki turned to see Iyllir walking up to him. She smiled at him and he smiled back, grateful for the lack of observant eyes to tell his fake smiles apart from the real ones.

"Prince Loki, what took you so long? You missed our picnic." The lady put her arm through his and he heard his brother snicker.

"How unfortunate. My brother and I still have very urgent business to tend to. I must go to a court meeting now." Loki gently tugged his hand out of hers.

"I thought you said this won't take long?" she frowned at him. She certainly was beautiful, with red hair and grey eyes, always majestic like a lady, and yet he couldn't follow both of their families' wishes.

"Well I am afraid things have changed, I won't stay here for long this visit." With that he went and followed his brother towards the big doors that opened for them and he saw Odin there alongside trusted advisers and of course- the warriors three. And then the meeting began.

Loki sat in his chair, bored as they talked about the mortals.

"Father, I can assure you that as of now there is no need in sending Asgardian forces there. My friends are handling it well now." Thor explained to his father and Loki couldn't help but get distracted.

"Let me help you, Y/N" he asked you, chuckling and biting his lip when you glared at him.

"I can handle it Loki!" you said as you tried to handle the pile of books in your hands so you could get the key for your apartment. He was thankful that you couldn't see his face now as he watched you struggle to balance the books on your thigh.

You let out a small shriek as the books fell out and were about to hit the floor when they just stopped midair, and you looked at Loki only to see him leaning on the wall, arms crossed with a smug smile on his face.

"I bet you liked my help now." You groaned.

"Yes thank you and your stupid magic Loki." You leaned down to pick up the books and stack them again after opening your door.

"If I remember correctly you were, oh what's the word- petrified when you first saw my magic"

"That is a big exaggeration! I was just a bit… startled maybe." You walked into the apartment and he closed the door behind you when you suddenly stopped, turning to him with an annoyed shocked expression, your mouth agape and your eyes wide and not amused. "You knocked my books down!"

You were met with a mischievous grin.

"You hurt my feelings darling, do you have any proof?" you huffed out a breath.

"You are insufferable!"

"You seem to manage so far."

"From what I gathered so far, the group called Hydra there seemed to have a hold of some old weapons of ours, nothing too big yet but we are looking into it to find out if there is more stuff we don't know about."

"And do you really think the mortals can handle this?" Odin asked the brothers.

"Yes father, they are very powerful." Loki couldn't help but agree with Thor, they really did manage to surprise him this time. He never expected her.

•

"What is this A children's playground? Stop pulling your punches and fight me." You grunted as you tried hitting Bucky again, you've been too distracted lately, your training didn't go too well and you ended up on the mat more often than not. At this point you considered just using your powers to make it seem like you're winning but now you were fighting Bucky, and from the day you met him you swore to yourself that you will never use your powers on him. He doesn't need anyone messing with his mind again.

So long story short you were getting your ass handed to you.

"I'm not a supersoldier may I remind you, so I'm sorry if I am a little tired! Bucky come on let's take a break." You ducked another punch.

"Maybe your mind just isn't with us right now." Natasha helpfully provided as she sat on the side with a smoothie.

"Fuck off."

"No, really, what is your deal with Loki?" at his mention you delivered a kick to Bucky that made him fall on the mattress with a thud.

"Nothing. Is this good enough for you now Bucky?" you reached out a hand to help him up.

"Now that we got you riled up about him, yes- let's go again." He laughed at the glare you gave him. Your jaw clenched as the two of you got into position.

"Bring it on, Barnes." He went in with his left arm now.

"I will, how did you know him? It certainly looks pretty personal and in-" you turned him around and pinned him to the ground.

"Shut up, just fight me." You heard Natasha laugh beside you and in that moment Bucky took advantage and got you on the ground instead. And you went back.

"What the fuck!" you screamed when you saw the figure in your room, Loki stood there, his face scrunched up.

"Sorry, my love."

"We talked about this Loki, you can't just teleport here- especially when I am sleeping!" you sighed when you saw his regretful face. "Don't stand there like a creep, come here I missed you."

He smiled and you closed your eyes, you still saw the green light that lit up the room when he changed his clothes and got under the covers with you. His hand was cold, making your skin prickle but it was worth it when he pulled you to him and the warmth spread between the two of you.

You fell asleep content with a smile on your face at the kisses he laid on your neck.

"Y/N?"

"What?" you looked up at Bucky who sat back on his heels, his brow was raised.

"You kind of spaced out, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm- I'm fine. I probably should go though." you got up. "Bruce probably needs help in the lab."

•

"You did not tell father about lady Y/N." Thor stated the obvious.

"Don't call her that. Why would I do that? She is of no import." Loki walked towards his chambers, but alas Thor decided to escort him there with preying questions.

"How did none of us know that you spent time in Midgard?" Thor stopped Loki with a hand on his shoulder.

"That was a long time ago brother."

"And yet it seems that you have quite a history, what happened between the two of you? Were the two of you…?" Thor trailed off and Loki groaned.

"Don't insinuate that, there wasn’t anything. We knew each other for a while and then we didn't. Now, if you will excuse me, I'll go to my room. Alone."

Loki shut the door behind him, in his mind he still saw you and your eyes and then the flashes of the battle of New York. The day was tiring; he decided to get some much needed rest, to get you out of his mind.

The day was exhausting; he had to stay back in Asgard. He couldn't put up illusions all the time, it was taking a toll on him, but it was worth it in his eyes.

The palace was now quiet as everybody went to sleep. Loki wanted to rest too, so he snuck out towards the bifrost. Heimdall had already seen him coming, and was ready to open the way.

"Are you going to keep going to her every night, my prince?" Heimdall asked him and Loki let out a smile.

"Yes. Thank you, truly for keeping this a secret for so long." Heimdall only nodded at him.

"If you are going to keep sneaking out to see her, someone will end up seeing you sometime." Heimdall stepped down and came to Loki. "I think I should show you another way to pass through the realms, I think you are mad enough in love for it to work for you."

When Heimdall showed him the way, he thanked him sincerely, it looked impossible at first but soon enough he was there in your room. You already fell asleep. He watched your figure as you rested, your state of calmness washed over him, and then you suddenly screamed at him, maybe he should have tried to wake you sooner, it didn't exactly matter to him much when just a few moments later he was curled up in the warmest bed he'd ever known.

•

"So you see, this part here it seems to be controlled by the holder of the gun, that must be the Asgardian tech combined with our own." Bruce told you as you gently examined the weapon.

"Damn, how long do you think they had that then? Like, just the time that it took them to develop it…" you thought. There were probably much worse things out there at their hands.

"I'd say at least a couple of months. It's a shame about those scientists." He hesitated to say that and you knew why.

"I didn't know they had that, no one checked their teeth. I was doing my job. It's okay, you can talk about it." You shrugged it off. With a power like yours, you have to get used to using it, you must fit yourself to it… because it certainly won't happen the other way around. But you were fine. You were different now.

Right?

"Well, next time we will check their teeth, to make sure this won't repeat itself. But at least we got some information before that's good right?" you nodded to Bruce and took out the bullets from one of the guns. There was something red, or was it orange, inside it. You examined it closer, moving towards the microscope to try to see for yourself before you ask Bruce about it.

Curiousity killed the cat.

Before you could reach the table, there was a warm sensation in your hand where you held it and then all you knew was that your hand hurt and you hit the floor, the bullet exploding with whatever was in it. Maybe you should've worn gloves.

Oh well, satisfaction resurrected it.

"Bruce, did you see that?"

"Yes Y/N, are you okay?"

"My head hurts but I'm fine, did you know those bullets do that?" you got up a little too fast for Bruce and your head's liking, but you went to the table nevertheless.

"No, they were fine before, you shouldn't have touched them," he fussed around.

"But I saw something-"

"You need to ice your head, tell me or Cho if you feel anything weird. This isn't something we know about Y/N." he handed you an ice pack for your head and told you to sit down, to which you grumbled but obeyed.

"Ah, Y/N, F.R.I.D.A.Y has been telling me that you've been trying to blow up the lab." Tony laughed at you as he entered.

"No, I would never try to steal your job." You shot back and he winked.

"Okay Elsa, I thought you'd like to know that we managed to make sense of some of the files we found in the warehouse and it looks like they have been making trades and dividing what they found."

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked him.

"That place we found was only dedicated to create a couple of things, but they have more out there, dedicated to building who knows what." Tony groaned, "We will need to divide and conquer this, we can't waste time and there is no way I am letting those Asgardian warriors come here. Don't blow things up kiddo!" you nodded to him, things were getting worse by the minute. You pressed your hand holding the ice pack harder against the back of your head. You were not looking forward to tomorrow, so you kept Bruce company until you were too tired to push it any longer. You went to bed and magically managed to convince Bruce to go to sleep.

•

You woke up groaning, you apparently forgot to close the blinds the night before. Going back to sleep will only cause you to oversleep, which will cause Steve to activate the stupid alarm protocol Tony built for him after you annoyed him.

You did not want to wake up to old Captain America songs blasting your ears off.

So you got up and after a short breakfast you reluctantly got on with your duties and important paperwork.

"Miss Y/L/N, you called me? I'm Mike, you asked for an analysis check on some data?" you turned to him then from looking at the board in the small conference room.

"Yes! Hi Mike, thank you. We have some encryptions that probably lead to very specific locations, check radars of isolated places or you know what- scratch that, they could be under our nose in the middle of a city." You looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, I can't narrow it down but we do need those answers as soon as possible. Okay?"

The poor guy looked horrified, his brown eyes were wide and you let out a small sorry when you handed him the big file.

"Yeah, of course Y/N, I will get right to it." With that you were alone in the room once again, going over the information you managed to get from the now dead scientists. This is going to be a long day. You saw it coming and that didn't help at all.

•

"Oh fuck." You cursed when the cold water from the sink touched your palm, it wasn't badly burned but it still hurt you.

You closed the door to your bathroom and turned around to see him standing in your room. Your eyes locked with blue ones, they certainly were familiar even after all this time, but while you could see the hesitation and the other swirling emotions in his eyes you couldn't tell anymore if you could trust what you thought you knew.

"When?" you felt your blood boil, but you knew you couldn't avoid him forever.

"Sometime after-" you hesitated with your words, walking towards your cabinet to put away the first aid kit you had. "After." You settled with that.

"What are you doing here Y/N?" Loki heard his own heartbeats, seeing you here… After all this time and he never forgot you. How could he?

"I'm an avenger now Loki," his name felt bitter on your tongue and you had to swallow to continue. "A lot has changed you know, you don't need to ask all these questions. There is no point to them."

"Oh but there is," at his angry tone you turned around. It was years of bottling the fight that you never had, he never let you have it. "You never wanted this life Y/N! What are you doing fighting out there with heroes or whatever they like to call themselves?"

"They are heroes, they help people. You however seemed to do the opposite from what I remember seeing on the TV." You laughed and shook your head. "I was still there you know, I was right in that same apartment where you left me. And there I saw you on the TV and I didn't even recognize it was you."

"Did you get hurt?" the question startled you.

"No, but it doesn't matter Loki! I am fighting alongside heroes now, I changed since the last time I saw you, this is my place now!"

"Oh darling you can pretend all you want in front of them, but I still know you." He matched your stare now. "This is not your life."

"Well yes it is!" you shook your head when he got closer now, every emotion you never got to express came back to the surface. "Why are you here? Huh? You're the one who left in the first place!"

"I've come here to help-" you stomped up to him.

"You know damn well that is not what I asked." You hated how your voice wavered.

"I did come here to help with the weapons," he continued before you could try to intervene. "And I didn't expect to see you again. But you're here now, and so am I."

"Damnit Loki, we have been through so much together, we weren't dating for only a month or two. A year. We were dating for more than a year and that is a lot." The tears were brimming now when you remembered your theory, that one little theory that ate your heart out, this one theory you found only a few days after. "Or at least here it is. Maybe in Asgard with all the almost-immortal gods a year is insignificant to you- that sure explains it all."

"No, it's not!" he dismissed it immediately and you felt your defenses shattering when he walked towards you. "I know there's pain inside of you, which was caused by me. But I am here now and I can't deny that I can still feel what I felt all those years ago. Just hear me out, we can call it even, just for a little while."

The last time you played this game it left you with a nasty scar. The more that he said, the less you knew what to think anymore.

So you didn't.

You hated the calmness that took over you the moment his lips touched yours, tongue sliding over the other, it left you breathless. You knew it was still love for you, but it was torture, you knew the high will not be worth the pain but he felt too good, too familiar that it made you question that. You didn't know how long has passed, all you knew was Loki, you still fit perfectly with his body which was pressed against you. Time flew by and you didn't know how you got here.

One moment his lips were on yours, the next you were pressed into the mattress, his figure pressing on yours. Maybe this could be good for the weekend… the next moment your legs somehow were wrapped around him and pulled him more into you. His lips trailed down to your throat, making breathy moans come out of your mouth. Your eyes opened and were focused on one spot on the ceiling, when you managed to break out of this delusional pleasure time flew by.

"No Loki, stop." You pushed him off of you. You sat up, curling your legs.

"What? Darling-" he tried reaching out for your thigh but you shook your head.

"You should go, Loki." You didn't look at him. Your hand covered your mouth as you sank into thought.

"Go? Why would I go? I know you feel exactly like I do." You couldn't deny it. You both knew that.

"You left me before Loki, what is the problem with leaving me now?" While you couldn't see him now, you had to get him out of here, so you could think clearly. This was too reckless. "It doesn't matter, this was just a relapse."

He left you there, and once the door shut you broke down, hating yourself for drowning into him again. You knew you were the one breaking your own heart when he took his warmth from the now cold bed. But it is better that you'll break it before he ever gets the chance to do it again.

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

#blank space #my writing #1989 #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki odinson x reader #angst #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki angst #loki fluff #loki odinson #loki

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whitetrashjj · 3 years

Note

crying my eyes out at your MLA format essays cuz not every queer storyline in media has to be rooted in angst of coming out. i get some of the points you’re trying to make. i also don’t think the show is queerbaiting but jjpope had just as much “evidence” as jiara had. like please explain why jj was so keen on kiara liking john b just cuz she kissed him on the cheek and then went and kissed pope’s cheek?…. like in jj’s mind a cheek kiss means liking someone and he did that to pope. also there ARE shots of jj’s lingering gaze towards pope lets us not lie here lmao. i get that you’re sick of people calling u homophobic i dont think u are for not shipping jjpope i also dont think the show is queerbaiting at all but you go on about “storytelling povs” and “lack of critical thinking” when YOUR critical thinking is literally biased as hell 😭 u can ship jiara all u want but jj and kiara, ESPECIALLY KIARA, are both very much queer coded and if u gonna say they’re not bc of some cheesy sTorYtELLiNg bullshit that u probably learned from a youtube video then you’re just biased to your ship.

You know why I have to write those 'essays'? Cause I get asks like this that brush over a bunch of different topics and I want to make sure I not only address every part of it but also make sure I'm making my pov very clear so I don't have people misinterpreting what I say - even though they still do - or accuse me about random bitching without and reasons or justification. Anyway get ready to do some crying cause you are getting another essay.

I know not every queer storyline has to be rooted in the angst of coming out. I wish there were more that weren't. It's the reason I loved booksmart so much. It's one of the reasons I love Dare Me, because that show had sapphic leads and while their relationship was at the core of the show. It wasn't the fact that they were queer that was focused on. Oh god I could rant about Dare Me forever.

Now my point with JJ and Pope is that we don't get the impression that the boys are currently out as queer. JJ from the start was set up as a bit of a womaniser, a bit girl mad - it would have been very easy to make that gender neutral if he was bi, as I headcanon. With Pope it's the same, I personally view him as gay, but if he was bi/pan it would have been easy to show him like that as we see him attempting to flirt on two occasions. Now this isn't to say that in future seasons they can switch it up as if it was always canon, like they did with Clarke in the 100. My point however, isn't to say that JJ and Pope releasing their sexualities and feelings has to be filled with angst, the example I gave can very easily be played a bit cutely - even if they do address the internalised homophobia that I'm just sure would effect a character like JJ - but just that based on my experiences as a queer person and what I know to be experiences of others that it would realistically play out differently to how it would with a m/f couple. Even then when to comes to friends to lovers in general the removal of physical intimacy when that tension starts to build out of awkwardness is common, it doesn’t play out the same way that ships like JB and Sarah do in which they increase in physical intimacy.

I didn't bring jiara into this. I didn't go out comparing jjpope and their interactions to jiara, I was simply speaking to how jjpope's relationship was portrayed. In terms of 'evidence' I am more than aware the jiara wasn't written to be a developing romance, anything there was created by what the fans saw and choices made by the editors. But it is also a canon fact that at the very least JJ is attracted to Kie, that all the pogues 'kinda have a thing for her' and that he has 'tried' something with her. Even if the intention of those things wasn't to build to a relationship - they did happen and that's not up for interpretation. I'm not gonna bring up the 'did you tell JJ?' thing cause it still confuses the hell out of me.

The thing with the cheek kisses is that it's not the action in itself that made it a romantic thing. A handshake can build romantic tension when framed that way but that doesn't make every hand shake in that piece of media suddenly romantic, make sense? If you compare the two scenes we have the build up of Kie walking up to John B, a close up of a lingering cheek kiss, the pull back with lingering looks and then the reactions of others who have observed it and picked up on something. It frames it as a significant moment with slow beats. That's how you build romantic tension. With the JJPope one it just flows past it, JJ pulls back from the hug, a quick peck on the check and a 'love you too man' with a smirk and pat on the check. We don't even have a second of Pope's reaction to it. Do you see what I mean?

You can love that moment as a shipper. I mean it's a great moment that really highlights their dynamic. To you it's a dynamic that you see and think oh this would play out so well romanticly, it's a dynamic I see and think oh I love their friendship. Each of those are valid reactions. But it isn't a moment that has been intentionally framed to build romantic tension and suggest a budding relationship.

Darl, I swear to god if I was coming to you with my shipping bias' this would be a very different conversation. I know I will always have them and I will lean into them when I'm on vc with shes, theys and gays and we are getting lost in headcanons but I do my best take a step back when I talk about these things here because I've been in fandoms when you have two extremes and no one relents and it's awful, I don't want to create that space. And once again, I did not bring jiara into this. My original post was not a comparison to jiara.

I am very curious about your perspective on queer coding here. Because yes, JJ has chaotic bi energy and I will die on this hill. But I do not see how he has been queer coded. Other than people seeing a man being physically affectionate with another men and insist that can't be platonic. As with Kie I can see it more, not for a second do I believe that what went on with Kie and Sarah was straight. And I desperately want to see Maddie play Kie as pan to rep her own very underrepresented sexuality! And in terms of how she's written, stuff like being an astrology bitch and environmentalist scream queer to us, I do think it is important to note that the writers of the show being who they are would necessarily have the same impression of what a queer womans traits would be. In regards to that scene in ep 1 where they have the hot touron girl and then JJ, JB and Kie all perking up and doing the nod thing? I don't think anyone has a straight explanation for that.

The 'sTorYtELLiNg bullshit that u probably learned from a youtube video' comment made me laugh cause it reminds me of this guy I had a fight with on the weekend over Remus and Sirius being queer and he decided to undermine my argument by saying 'just because you read it on reddit doesn't make it true' which... yike. Any way, maybe you do but I don't have the tolerance to sit down and watch a youtube video on someone analysing a show. All my interpretations come from years of writing actual essays analysing elements and themes in media. As well as having a keen interest in direction and editing, so I pay a lot of attention to those things and you start to notice patterns. In terms of credentials I don't have any but I do think these 'essays' do an alright job of me not only explaining my interpretation but why. Because I'm not someone to just say things and expect that to just be accepted or think that is makes it true.

#obx #outer banks #JJ and pope #jiara #JJ maybank #kiara carrera #pope heyward #lara answers

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 3 years

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Can you please write up the history of Jon Richardson and Russell Howard's bromance, breakup and, eventual reconcillation? I'm reading all your blogposts about them and I find it fascinating but I don't think it's possible for me to go through all media to piece it together. I'm a big fan of both of them in panel shows and I recently watched the OCD documentary made by Jon and loved it. I'd love to know about their friendship more. Thank you!

I certainly can write up that history, and I will, but I do feel a bit weird about writing a detailed account of two celebrities’ personal lives so I feel the need to preface it a bit. Mainly, I want to say we don’t actually know these people. What we know are the characters they’ve created that exist in the media. I can certainly write a history of those characters and their relationships with each other, of the information that they have “made canon” about their characters by the things they say and do on television and on the radio and on the internet.

From that, one could speculate about how things may have happened off camera. I’ve compared this before to the way I, as a Harry Potter nerd, enjoy coming up with theories about what Sirius Black was doing during Harry’s fourth year at Hogwarts. I’m taking the information we know about some characters, and extrapolating from it to create theories that further their story.

The important thing to remember is that these personas are just characters; they’re characters that are obviously based on the real people, but there are a lot of people in the world who conflate celebrities’ personas with the actual human beings and that leads to all kinds of bad things. That’s how we end up with tabloid culture. All the information I have about Jon Richardson and Russell Howard comes from stuff they’ve said and done while consenting to be recorded; I honestly don’t know if I could find out further information about them via tabloid media, I’ve never checked and I’m not going to.

Sorry for the long-ish preamble; I just feel like writing up a history of two celebrities’ interactions with each other means stepping close enough to the territory of “creepy fans conflating celebrities' public personas with their private selves” so I feel the need to clarify this and to apologize for the fact that I have somehow learned so many things about the personal lives of some people who live across the ocean. For this, I would like to apologize to Jon Richardson, Russell Howard, both their mothers, my own mother, and any gods that may or may not exist.

Having said that, this is one of my favourite stories out there and I will actually quite enjoy writing it down and sharing it. If you are in any of the groups to which I apologized in the previous paragraph, please do not click on the “keep reading” link.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Jon Richardson. He grew up in Lancaster in the North of England. He finished school and decided he wanted to not be in the North of England anymore, so he moved to Bristol to attend university. He did Hispanic studies, for reasons I have never heard him explain, though the fact that he speaks some Spanish because he chose this obscure program of study does come up occasionally in his television appearances. He lived in a bedsit, which as far as I can tell from looking it up seems to be the British term for what I know as a shitty bachelor apartment. At this point, Jon is in his late teens/early 20s and it’s the early 2000s.

He also did stand-up at local comedy clubs. One day, at a comedy club, he met a Bristolian comedian named Mark Olver. Mark Olver is a guy who does the warm-ups on television shows and turned Lee Mack and Mike Wozniak into French clowns. Also he hosts a YouTube show.

Through this, Jon met another local Bristolian comedian named John Robins. John Robins is a guy who dated Sara Pascoe for a while and was a bit of a dick about that on Mock the Week once. He listens to Queen and generally kind of looks and acts like Phil from The Thick of It.

Through the scene at Bristol comedy clubs, also met a comedian who was not from the area, but who had moved to Bristol from Bath to attend university. His named was Russell Howard. According to the stories of any time this comes up, Russell disliked Jon Richardson the first time they met because he thought Jon was cocky. The two men have since agreed that what probably happened is Jon was nervous to meet the local comedians and dealt with this by getting drunk and behaving strangely, and Russell mistook this for Jon thinking he was better than everyone else.

However, Russell quickly got over his initial notions and worked out that Jon Richardson is one of the best people in the world. The two became very close friends, and Russell convinced him to move out of his terrible bedsit where he was living and being miserable by himself. Instead, Jon decided to live and be miserable with other people, moving into a house with Russell Howard, John Robins, and Mark Olver.

That is how Jon and Russell came to be stand-up comics who were living together. Jon was also suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder and general misery. He was pessimistic about his chances of succeeding in life, and he was also constantly concerned about whether the appropriate number of teaspoons were in the kitchen drawer. This made focusing on academics difficult, and at some point, he decided to drop out of university, to try to focus on “making it” in comedy (to be honest I may have the chronology wrong here, I don’t know if he dropped out of school before or after moving into this house). In the meantime, he worked as a chef. This also comes up sometimes later in his career, when he bitterly mutters about how everyone else cooks food wrong and Nigella isn’t really that great.

This caused him to get even more distressed about whether his comedy career would work out, because if it didn’t, he’d have to live with the fact that he’d quit school for nothing. This distress was correlated with – and probably also had a causal relationship with – his worsening OCD symptoms. He found his living situation difficult, because living with other humans while having OCD is difficult. On this subject, I can speak from experience. You need everything to be in the right place. They sometimes put things in the wrong place. You don’t want to be an asshole by getting mad at them for that, so you keep quiet, and you build up resentment toward them for getting everything wrong. Or, if you are close enough with them and trust them enough, you tell them when the things they do distress you, and this may lead to fights.

I can also speak from experience when I say it can lead to well-meaning roommates not knowing how much they’re hurting you. Russell Howard has a joke in an old stand-up act about how he’d put Rice Krispies in the shoe of his roommate with OCD, because it was funny to see how upset he got. I don’t know if the Rice Krispies in the shoe story is literally true, but it is well established that Russell used to like fucking with Jon. He’d move something to a place where Jon didn’t like it just to watch Jon get mad about that, because messing with each other is something friends do. Also, Russell has described himself as having “a bit of ADD”, and normally does not keep his living space all that clean or organized.

So between Russell’s natural disorderliness and his intentional pranks, Jon did not find living with him easy. Jon used to sleep in his car sometimes, because he couldn’t handle being in that house. It has been established since then that Russell did not know at the time that Jon used to sleep in his car, and was upset when he found out. Again, I don’t know exactly how things happened here, but I can speak from experience as a person with OCD who’s lived with different friends over many years. I know it can happen that someone thinks their friend is just a little touchy about things, and they play jokes related to that as a way to bond with their friend and entertain them both, and then they’re horrified when they find out later just how much those jokes actually hurt their friend.

In 2012, Jon filmed a documentary called A Little Bit OCD, and a few minutes of it involved him meeting up with his old roommates and telling them, among other things, how he used to sleep in his car to get away from the disorder in the house. The look on Russell’s face is a look I’ve seen on several of my friends when I’ve opened up to them about how hard I actually found it to live around them. Russell also asked the question that my friends always ask: “Why didn’t you tell me?” My own answer to that question is: “Because I knew my quirks and general misery already make me hard to live with, and I didn’t want to make it worse.” The answer Jon gave on camera was fairly similar to that one; it involved saying he felt like it was his problem and he didn’t want to make that everyone else’s responsibility.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to the house in Bristol. The year is 2006. Jon Richardson and Russell Howard had both advanced their careers as stand-up comics; they now regularly traveled around the country to perform. In September 2006, Russell made his first appearance on Mock the Week, which as far as I can tell is the first time either of those two guys got on television.

Russell Brand then left his job as the host of a BBC 6 Music show that ran from 10 AM-1 PM every Sunday. Young up-and-coming comic Russell Howard was given the job of replacing him. Russell Howard brought in his best friend and roommate Jon Richardson to… well, Russell always insisted on calling it co-hosting, but I think the technical term to describe Jon’s role was “sidekick”. The show was called The Russell Howard Show.

The show was three hours in total, with 80-90 minutes of it taken up with Jon and Russell just talking and the rest with music and news. All episodes of that old radio show are online as a podcast (each podcast episode is 80-90 minutes, as the podcast cuts out the music and news and just has the guys talking), and at the moment I’ve listened to all episodes of that podcast from the first one in November 2006 to the one I’m on now, which is in June 2007.

Their radio show got quite popular, as Jon and Russell had very good chemistry on air and listeners got invested in their relationship. They’d casually talk about knowing each other’s parents and knowing each other’s habits and doing pretty much everything together. The two of them were the kind of very close friends who shared all kinds of memories and would talk over each other tell their different versions of the same story. They bickered with each other constantly, except when Jon went on a rant about his own insecurities and Russell would cut him off to say, “Oh shut up, you’re wonderful.”

Jon’s insecurities did feature a lot in those radio show episodes. It’s worth pointing out, at this point, that Jon is a few years younger than Russell. When they started their radio show in November 2006, Russell was nearly 27 and Jon had just turned 24. So it does make sense that Russell was a few years ahead of Jon in terms of comedy career progression. But still, Jon was in the difficult position of being scared that his own career would never take off, while watching his best friend’s career take off ahead of his. Oh, and Jon was fond of reminding us that he had almost no experience with sexual or romantic relationships, while Russell had a long-term girlfriend. Russell and his girlfriend had clearly been together for a while when their radio show first started, they did break up for about ten minutes in early 2007 but then they got back together, and they’re now married so it clearly was a strong relationship. So Jon was watching Russell have a more successful professional and personal life than him. Russell had a girlfriend and a radio show, Jon had OCD and a “sidekick” spot on The Russell Howard Show.

This issue was exacerbated when Russell started a position as a Mock the Week regular in January 2007. That’s when Jon started grumbling a lot during their radio show about how Russell had become a TV star who was too good for his old friends. Russell, to his credit, was constantly kind and patient about this. He insisted that he had told the Mock the Week people how great Jon was, and was trying to get Jon booked for television spots (this led to Jon saying that was pointless and no one would ever want the likes of him on television). Jon started sharing stories during their radio show about how when he and Russell went out together, people would recognize and like Russell but not Jon. Russell would always assure him that he was imagining this, that people liked Jon too, that he was a great comedian who was going to be a big star. Jon would reply bitterly that that was bullshit and Russell was going to go off and leave him for the world of showbiz. This dynamic between them got increasingly pronounced as 2007 went along.

While this was happening, their living situation changed. In late 2006, Jon and Russell decided to move out of the house they shared with John Robins and Mark Olver and find a place in London together. They no longer had university tying them to Bristol, and moving to London appears to be what people do in England when they want to “make it” in pretty much anything. For a few weeks, they talked on the radio show about searching for places to live in London together.

Then one episode, Russell announced that Jon had backed out of their plan to get a place together in London, and was looking for a place to live alone in Swindon. The reason Jon gave for this on the radio was that it was convenient and close to roads he needed. They made jokes about how this was characteristic of Jon’s usual personality, that he was acting like an old man and moving to a boring old place so he could have a garden and things like that.

Jon kept insisting that this move would be a great thing, that he was so excited to have his own place where everything would be how he wanted it, that it would be so much better than putting up with Russell’s annoying habits. They actually moved out in late March, and on the next episode they told stories about the move. Russell mentioned that while they were moving, at one point, Jon stopped, turned to him, and said, “What if this is all a big mistake?”

But after that, Jon went right back to not acknowledging that this might be a bad idea. In the weeks that followed, whenever Russell asked him how his place in Swindon was, he said it was great. He was always defensive about it, insisting he was having a great time by himself and better off there than when he lived with friends. At one point, he said something along the lines of, “You want me to say I’m not happy in Swindon so you can say I was wrong to move there, well I wasn’t, I like living by myself.”

Years later, Jon described his time in Swindon to The Guardian: “I picked somewhere where I didn’t know anyone, and I didn’t do anything. I didn’t have any sex, I didn’t do any drugs, I didn’t go to any parties … It was really about hiding and my fear of making mistakes and letting people down. They were pretty grim years, really … I felt it was a sacrifice I needed to make to make sure that I took the job of comedy seriously enough.”

Meanwhile, Russell moved back to his parents’ place until he could figure out his next move. He moved into his own place a while after that. In 2008, he released his first stand-up DVD. Right at the beginning of the set he did on this DVD, he said: “It’s lovely to be here. If I wasn’t here I’d be at home, crying, because that’s all I do, you know? I live on my own, it’s so boring. I used to live with my friend Jon, but we couldn’t get on because Jon’s got OCD and I’ve got a touch of ADD; that doesn’t go well together, right?” To be clear I do realize that stories in a stand-up set are exaggerated and everything, but… still. I watched all five of Russell’s stand-up DVDs in a row a while ago, and it was pretty heavy to have that line three minutes into his first one.

Shortly after they moved out of Bristol, Russell traveled to Australia for two months. He did that to do a bunch of stand-up shows and some television shows out there. Before he left, Jon kept going on about how he was going off to be a world famous star, and Russell kept insisting it would be fine and he’d call into the radio show every week.

While Russell was gone, Jon hosted the radio show. Every week, they tried to talk to Russell. Most weeks, they didn’t get through to him at all. They managed to get through a couple of times, and Jon sounded so excited to hear from Russell again that he actually refrained from his usual complaining. I think he only got in one “I guess Russell’s too good for me now” comment the whole time, and it was after Russell had talked about visiting Ross Noble’s Australian ranch, and I can’t really blame Jon for getting jealous about that.

Russell came back from Australia and back to the radio show. There was some awkward discussion about how Jon had done a good job hosting the show and maybe Jon should just be the host, and Russell said yes that would be great, and Jon said no of course he wasn’t good enough to host because the TV star Russell Howard needed to host and he was just the sidekick, and Russell said “Oh come on, we’re co-hosts”, and Jon pointed out that the show was called The Russell Howard Show.

This pretty much brings us to as far as I’ve gotten in my listening to the radio show (I took a break from that show a few weeks ago, because honestly some of the stuff in there about Jon’s mental health makes me so emotional that I can’t listen to it all the time), so that’s the end of my detailed knowledge. But I know generally what happened after that. Russell booked more and more TV spots, and more and more international stand-up shows. Jon also started getting bigger spots as a touring stand-up comedian. In 2007 he did his first solo show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and was nominated for best newcomer, so it’s not like his career was going nowhere. But it was well behind Russell’s.

In 2008, Russell quit the radio show. It was renamed the Jon Richardson Show, and Jon became the host. In 2009, Russell got his own BBC television show, Russell Howard’s Good News. Shortly after that, he quit as a Mock the Week regular to focus on his own show. And the rest is history for him - Good News ran for a bunch of years, then he moved to Skye with The Russell Howard Hour, and he’s become wildly successful.

Jon’s career took a little longer to get going (again, this makes sense because he was three years younger). It was 2009 when he started booking television appearances as a panel show guest and as a stand-up comedian. In September 2010, he appeared for the first time as a guest on 8 Out of 10 Cats. Then... in the delicate words of Frankie Boyle, Jason Manford “had a wank in a hotel room”. This left 8 Out of 10 Cats in need of a new regular, and Jon was given the job. Jon quit the radio show in 2010, and started appearing as a team captain on 8 Out of 10 Cats, opposite Sean Lock, in 2011.

Jon was still in Swindon when he first started as an 8 Out of 10 Cats team captain; I know this because Jimmy Carr made constant jokes about him living like a lonely hermit in the shitty place of Swindon. Jon also made a lot of self-deprecating jokes about how his life involved living alone, not doing anything, drinking wine by himself while watching cooking shows, drinking wine by himself while cooking (like I said, the fact that he worked as a chef after university does sometimes come up in the way he talks on TV about being into cooking), and talking to his microwave while cooking. A lot of the jokes made by and about him revolved around the idea of him being lonely, him being bitter and miserable, him having gone a very long time without a girlfriend or sexual partner, and him doing weird things because OCD.

Not long after this, he decided he felt ready to give being around other people another shot. He moved into a house in London with a couple of other comedians he knew: Matt Forde and Danny Buckler.

In 2012, Jon made a documentary for Channel 4 called A Little Bit OCD. This documentary involved meeting up with Russell Howard, John Robins, and Mark Olver, to talk about how his OCD had affected him when he’d lived with them. I’m pretty sure I’m right when I say it was the first time Jon and Russell had been recorded together (by a TV camera or a radio mic) since Russell had left the radio show in 2008. At this point they were both regulars on the panel show circuit, but they had never appeared together. They had stopped talking about each other in public, even though in the early days of their careers they did reference their friendship in their material.

The scene in A Little Bit OCD between Jon and Russell was pretty awkward. I wrote about it earlier in this post, how Jon said he used to sleep in his car and Russell was surprised and horrified to hear that. “What didn’t you tell us?” But it wasn’t just that that made it awkward. Things were clearly stilted between the two of them. They seemed like two people who had not communicated in a long time and were not on good terms.

In the few years that followed, Jon and Russell continued to never be on TV together and to not talk about each other publicly. In 2013, there was a weird “8 Out of 10 Cats Does Deal or No Deal” special in which Jon and Sean had to open boxes that were held by their friends. Jon’s former housemates John Robins and Mark Olver were holding boxes. Jon’s then-housemate Matt Forde was there. They talked on camera about how those three people had all experienced living with Jon. No one mentioned Russell Howard.

Also in 2013 when Russell was voted number 1 and Jon was voted number 2 in Heat Magazine’s weird crush of the year. Jimmy Carr held up the magazine during an episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats, and asked Jon how he felt about being the number 2 weird crush. I made a post about this a while ago, which included this screenshot from that episode:

I’m also going to copy the text of what I wrote in that post, because it really is amazing when you look at that moment in all its fucked up context:

“How much must it fucking suck to be on television and get told that 1) It’s weird for people to have a crush on you, 2) You’re not even the number one weird crush, 3) A published periodical has declared that your ex is more attractive than you are, and 4) After all these years and after becoming a very successful comedian, you’re still one spot behind your ex with whom you used to have issues of being jealous that his career progressed faster than yours?”

To be clear, the “ex” thing is a joke. Jon and Russell act a lot like people who dated and then broke up, so I refer to them as exes because that’s funny. While I’m writing this story for people who might not know it, I suppose I should clarify that they haven’t actually dated. But they did used to sometimes tell stories on their radio show about having wrestling matches in their living room in Bristol, so the fans of that radio show who wrote in to point out the sexual tension between them (and there were quite a few fans who did that, I know because Jon and Russell read out those emails on the air) definitely had stuff to work with.

After that, things started to really take off in Jon’s life. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Deal or No Deal didn’t do more than one episode (thankfully), but 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown started as a two-episode special and then grew into a very successful show. Eventually, Jon got so successful with Catsdown that he and Sean quit 8 Out of 10 Cats to just do the spinoff show. I have seen every episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats and 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, and while I do have a soft spot for the original show, I can confirm that Catsdown is the better show and Sean and Jon made the right choice to focus on that.

Things also took off in Jon’s personal life after that, of course. In 2013, his comedian friend Roisin Conaty introduced him to her comedian friend Lucy Beaumont, and then he had a girlfriend. They got married in 2015 and had a kid in 2016.

And that brings us back to Jon and Russell. I’m pretty sure the first time they appeared on television together since the awkward documentary in 2012, and I’m also pretty sure this is only the second time they’d appeared publicly together since Russell left the radio show in 2008, is when Russell Howard was a guest on Jon’s team on an episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown that aired in November 2016. Catsdown isn’t a topical show, so the episode would have been filmed before that, and I don’t know exactly when.

Jon has said in interviews that he started going to therapy around that time, and if I were the sort of person who speculated about celebrities’ personal lives, I would point out that mending an old relationship that got broken due to mental health issues is the sort of thing people do when they start therapy. I did make a joke about this in one of the first posts I ever made on this blog, and I find it sort of funny that that short joke requires this much context to explain (it does also require knowing that Richard Osman is the executive producer on 8 Out of 10 Cats and 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown):

“Is anyone else amused by the fact that this conversation presumably happened sometime in 2016?

Jon Ricahrdson: I’ve had some therapy and have decided I can stand to be in the same building as Russell Howard again now.

Richard Osman: Oh thank God, I no longer have to avoid booking a very popular comedian on my show just because you had a bad breakup like a decade ago.”

But that is just speculation; I don’t actually have any idea why they reconciled. But it’s clear that they did, because they were getting along well when Russell turned up on Catsdown. I could summarize that episode, but honestly, if you have taken the ridiculous amount of time that would be involved in reading this ridiculous post, do yourself a favour and enjoy the payoff by watching the episode yourself. It’s just lovely. They share stories of the old days and they do impressions of each other and they play a game to see how well they know each other and they both look so excited to be working together again.

Russell appeared in a couple more episodes of Catsdown that aired over the next couple of months, and those were similarly adorable. Since then, Jon has appeared as a guest on three episodes of The Russell Howard Hour. On all three, they’ve talked about how they used to live together. They’ve made jokes the way old friends do about how the other used to act.

They’ve both made references to the different directions the other went in the intervening years. On Catsdown, Russell gave Jon a toy piano for his baby daughter, which is this sweet acknowledgement of how Jon had built a whole life for himself after moving on from Russell and Russell gave him something to support that. Another time Jon gave Russell some protein powder, saying back when they were living together Russell would have preferred Shreddies, but, “You’ve gone a different way since then.”

Right. So I’m pretty sure this is the longest post I’ve ever made on this blog. I honestly surprised myself with how much I was able to write on this subject. I don’t really know how to end it now. I would like to apologize again to Jon Richardson, Russell Howard, both their mothers, my own mother, and God for the fact that I know way too much about these people’s lives. The best defense I can give is... there was a pandemic. What else was I supposed to do with my time?

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retrievablememories · 3 years

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this is me trying | lucas

title: this is me trying pairing: lucas x black!reader genre: angst request: “Hey do you think you can do a sequel about Lucas’ No manners like an aftermath of what happened after he hung up on her and what she’s been up too all this time. And what Lucas decided to do.” word count: 2.1k warnings: mentions of infidelity, mentions of an abortion, relationship problems, cursing a/n: that banner is boring af, but photoshop is a bitch who didn’t save my previous file and i don’t have time to play all night

the sequel to no manners. okay... i decided to go for a different type of ending here since i tend to make the couple break up/stay broken up in these angsty stories...and i know people tend to like endings where things are resolved...though EYE personally would not recommend this irl 💀

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen Lucas on any video call, and even longer since you’ve seen him in person. These couple months alone have seemed even longer and more tiresome than the previous duration of time when you were kept apart from him.

You haven’t heard from him in that time span, either, which makes you feel...it’s hard to know how to feel, especially with how you yourself froze him out to avoid admitting the truth. It’s easy enough to know what he’s doing through WayV’s posts on YouTube and Instagram and wherever else, but you don’t enjoy knowing next to nothing about how he’s doing—like you’re merely another fan when you’re actually his wife.

You also understand, though, that maybe you don’t have much room to complain with your previous actions. That doesn’t make it any less painful. Especially with him ignoring your small attempts to reach out to him.

Despite Sharia’s earlier advice, you decide to stay at your job and continue avoiding Daniel at all costs. Staying at home and having nothing to do during this conflict would only make you slip further into depression, which is the last thing you need right now. You’re in no state of mind to be trying to find another job and doing countless interviews, either.

Luckily, Sharia doesn’t mind helping you stay away from Daniel or create the perfect facade that your marriage is still doing fine despite it being the exact opposite. Everyone at your job still thinks things are as they have always been, and you’re relieved for that.

That’s about the only point of relief in your life, though.

You’re reaching the end of your limit with how much you can endure of staying in that same house without Lucas, being reminded of him in every corner of every room. His clothes in the closet, his side of the bed, his favorite coffee mugs in the kitchen. You’ve already tried hiding some of his things out of sight so you wouldn’t have to face unwilling memories, but it’s too difficult to completely erase a presence that fills every aspect of your home. And that’s not something you really want to do, anyway—which makes you feel more downtrodden and unable to let go.

You decide you need to get out, get away, change your surroundings. It’s wearing you thin to keep coming back to this empty house everyday, drifting around the space like a misplaced ghost. If you stay here another month, you think you might lose your sanity once and for all. So, eventually, you start packing. Sharia doesn’t mind letting you stay over for a little while, and you are grateful for the welcome distraction and comfort that being in her company will provide.

On a day when you’re making the last few preparations to leave for Sharia’s place, you hear a car pulling up in the driveway. You’re confused for a few seconds, as you weren’t expecting any visitors and today isn’t the day Sharia is supposed to come over. However, your heart kicks up in its rhythm when you go to the window in the kitchen to check. It’s Lucas’s car.

For a few moments, you’re unsure what to think or how to react. You’ve wanted to see him for so long, but now that he’s here, you want him gone again. What will he say when he sees your things packed? Will he even care? Most importantly, what has he come here for, after all this time?

You don’t have much more time to think about these things before Lucas is getting out of the car and walking up to the door. You stand in your spot in the kitchen, frozen as the key turns in the lock.

Lucas walks into the house cautiously, as if he doesn’t know how to properly approach this environment after being gone for so long. When he catches sight of you through the kitchen entryway, he stops in his tracks, still standing in the living room.

Both of you stare at each other for a few long and agonizing seconds. His eyes are still weary and hurt like they were the night you told him the news, but there’s a question floating there, too.

“You’re not…?” His eyes drop down to your stomach, the front of your shirt, and it looks the same as he remembers it being months ago, before he left for China, despite you telling him of your pregnancy. If there’s one thing he remembers, it’s that.

“No,” you respond quietly, “There’s no way I could go through with it.”

Lucas pauses, then nods, though he doesn’t say anything else for a few long moments—nothing to explain his sudden appearance, nothing to comment on the decision you made.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at the ground, shifting his jaw.

“What...did you come here for?” you finally ask. The words sound harsh to your ears, and you wince internally, but you don’t know what else to do to make some kind of headway.

“Just...getting some things.” Lucas rubs the back of his neck warily, as if he’s not sure this is the right answer. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be here right now at all, having this conversation with you.

“Getting some things,” you echo. “Are you…” You’re not sure what you want to ask right now. “Leaving?”

“What’s the point of questioning me about it? Aren’t you doing the same thing?” Lucas’s eyes shift to one of your suitcases in the middle of the living room, still sitting open.

“Yes, but...you don’t even understand why I’m doing it. You’re just leaving. Are we both just going to abandon this house without even talking it out? That’s just the end of everything?” Now that you’ve found your voice again, the questions keep coming.

Lucas comes forward to step into the kitchen. “What would you like to say? What else is there that I need to know? You were drunk and lonely, weren’t you?” That phrase comes out with a sneer, which makes you wince like you’ve just had something physically thrown at you.

“I’ve spent months agonizing over this shit, Yukhei. I’ve felt completely alone and in the dark here. I had the abortion, I’ve been to therapy, I haven’t even looked at alcohol since then. I’ve seen the error of my fucking ways, believe me, and I still feel no more reassured about any of this.”

“Do you think that’s going to solve everything?” Lucas says, crossing his arms and staring at you from across the room.

“I don’t know! Maybe I didn’t do it for you. I did it because I didn’t want to have another man’s child! I did it for myself, to feel back in control of myself!”

“Y/N, you can do whatever you need to make this easier for you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to come running back to you.”

You sigh heavily and sit down in the kitchen chair, rubbing your hands over your face. “Maybe it’s a mistake for me to hope we can work something out at this point, but I long ago realized that living without you is next to unbearable. Why do you think I’m trying to get the fuck out of here? Everything here is ‘you.’” You don’t look at his eyes during any point of this speech, just instead staring at your hands where they meet on the table. “I see that if you want to leave, I won’t be able to stop you. But at least give me a proper explanation and a clean break like a human being.”

Lucas falls quiet again. You think he might just leave you there to get his stuff and go back to wherever he wants to go, but he sits in the chair across from you. You still don’t look at him.

“I also missed you a lot,” he admits, quietly, as if he doesn’t want to say it where it can be heard. “I didn’t really want to. But. Obviously, those emotions don’t just go away…”

You simply nod, not knowing the right way to respond to that.

“You still wear your ring,” he says it flatly, like it’s an insignificant observation. You can’t tell whether he’s surprised at it or judging you for it, for whatever ridiculous reason.

“Did you not want me to?” you say, irritated. “We are still married. And I don’t need the people at work asking questions.”

He nods as if he’s just understood something and the realization of it has made him even more displeased. “Right, of course, it’s all about looking good. Maintaining the lie, right?”

“It’s not about that,” you snap. “You should know that more than anyone. No one even knows I’m fucking married to you except Sharia. God forbid I don’t want to hear more bullshit from Daniel about my marriage, I guess.”

Lucas’s face is still for a moment, and then his eyebrows crease. “Does he still bother you?” The words leave his mouth tentatively.

“Of course he does, Yukhei. Whenever I can’t get away from him completely. He’s not just going to stop because my life has turned to shit and my husband hates me—which he doesn’t even know.”

Lucas shakes his head and sighs. “Don’t guilt trip me.”

“I’m only stating what clearly seems to be a fact now.” Then you get up from the table, weary of the conversation and even more hurt by the fact that he didn’t try to deny your statement. “Now, if you want to get your stuff, go get it. I won’t hold you up any longer. Though—you should think about preparing for a divorce if you’re really done here.” You walk out of the kitchen before waiting for his response, missing the way he stiffens in his seat.

You sit in the living room fussing over your suitcase for a long while before he decides to walk into the room. “Look...I don’t know how to feel about all this right now, but I’m not sure if that’s what I...want.”

“...What.”

“Y/N. I’m saying, I don’t think I want to...separate.”

“Then what do you want? To keep dragging me around with an empty marriage while you move on with your life? Just file the damn papers or I will.” You’re angry with him now, and a few tears slip out. You feel like you’re being thrown around at this point, and you have no clue what his intentions are. You get even more upset with yourself for crying, though there’s no reason to be.

“I don’t fucking know. Just not...this.” Lucas is deflated and maybe just as lost as you are, though you don’t want to acknowledge that while you’re still upset at his indecisiveness. He sits on the couch with you, and you’re partly surprised that he even still wants to be anywhere near you with how he was acting and talking earlier.

He seems a little shaken to see you openly crying, as if he’s never seen it happen before. Like all of this is once again new to him. Lucas puts his head in his hands, bearing a striking resemblance to the image of him doing the same thing the day you told him what happened.

You both make for a pitiful sight on the sofa like that, sitting as far from each other as possible but hurting over the same thing. Finally, Lucas takes his hands away from his face and, tentatively, as if you might shove him away, reaches for your hand. He covers it with his own, curling his fingers around yours slightly.

You stare at his hand on top of yours, bare without his ring, unsure how to react to it. You look to your side, though he doesn’t meet your eyes at first. There’s another crease between his brows.

“Just let me...figure some things out. We—we could...figure some things out, together. Before we...think about taking that step.” This response is still just shy of giving you a definite answer, but it gives you a small, painful hope that maybe things aren’t destroyed forever.

You nod, wiping some of your tears away. You’re almost afraid to take your eyes from where your hands are joined, as if you’ll discover it was just some mirage or figment of your imagination if you look away.

“Okay...we can do that. If...you want to try.”

Lucas looks at you fully now, his eyes impossibly deep with things he’s already said and has yet to say to you, and nods back—a tiny movement, but it’s there and true all the same.

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