Peter Quill: You seemed pretty casual about me returning from space like it was no big deal
Grandpa Quill: Please, compared to the other stuff that’s happened on Earth these past few years, you returning from space is nothing
Peter: Oh yeah, I guess after the snap anything’s normal
Grandpa: You better believe it. Did you know they added Captain America’s shield to the Statue of Liberty?
Peter: That’s unexpected but it’s not too weird
Grandpa: A witch placed a whole town in New Jersey under some spell and mind-controlled them into acting in her sitcom
Peter: Okay that’s fucked up
Grandpa: One day the sky turned back 2000 years
Peter: This is NOT normal
Grandpa: There’s an entire race of humans that live and breathe underwater
Peter: Please stop
Grandpa: Werewolves and vampires are real, always have been apparently
Peter: Is this what a midlife crisis feels like?
Grandpa: Oh, don’t forget djinn, they’re out there too
Peter: I’m just gonna stop listening
Grandpa: A newborn Celestial emerged from the ocean and got immediately petrified, then another Celestial showed up a few days later, it was larger than the entire planet
Peter: Alright that’s it, we’re moving to another planet right now
Grandpa: Oh and rumor has it the entire multiverse is in danger of falling apart, we’re not safe anywhere
Peter: FUCK!
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personally i think marvel peaked when all the fanfics were just about the avengers rooming together in avengers tower, with thor eating poptarts and clint playing video games and hiding in the vents from nat and them all just being a happy weird family together
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