#maybe i am a hater is what i’m learning LOL

[litrallytyrus]

As someone who used to be a big theatre kid who is about to graduate high school watching theatre kids graduate high school ... Is also going to be a trip

(ps. I guess I'm still kind of am a theatre kid, I mean I like Tech but I am not as much as a theatre kid as I was when hsmtmts first started)

LOL i meant no hate in my post about having to watch theater kid seniors graduate and i wish u luck in finishing high school but ………… i just feel like there’s going to be so many dramatic moments about graduating and moving on and changing relationships and they’re already theater kids so it’s going to be even MORE dramatic and ………. i already know there’s going to be so many scenes that make me roll my eyes and go on my phone ….

#maybe i am a hater is what i’m learning LOL #i think also my problem is maybe that i’ve already graduated high school #so having to watch characters on a tv show do it is just like ……… cool ok #like its a big deal in real life but on tv im like god just move on and go to college or something 😭😭😭 #i don’t want to watch ricky have an existential crisis about what the future holds for him #i just don’t care! #i’d rather watch him do goofy things at summer camp #okay i think i’m just a hater actually #hsmtmts #hsmtmts season 4 #cute asks #audrey tag :D

[blackgirlwhowrites2k23]

A/N: Inconsistency is my middle name💀. But here’s this idea that came to my mind that I just HAD to write. Also sorry if the emojis look terrible, I wrote some of this on my phone, some on my iPad and then the rest on my computer so the format is kinda crazy.

Summary: You’re a well renowned actress and bachelorette that many have been trying to get at. Unfortunately, you never gave them the time of day. Until, someone comes along.

Possible Continuation: This may (emphasis on may because you know me💀) be a part of series I’m planning on doing. If not, I'll just come back and delete this paragraph and pretend nothing happened.

You have one message from...(Jamal Musiala)

Part 1:

Song:

Yourusername added to their feed

Liked by jordan_poole, judebellingham, keke, and 7,006,726 others

yourusername: Can’t believe how far I’ve come! Taking home not one, but three. Forever blessed💕 🙏🙏🙈

View all 21,346 comments

fan1 WOW. WOW. WOW.

fan2 W actress >>>>

zendaya Words cannot describe how proud I am of you 🥹❤️❤️❤️

↪️yourusername Love you loads🥹💕💕

fan1 Did I mention WOWWWW😍😍

fan3 Ok, but who’s doing it like Y/N. 3 Back to Back,!?!?! Literally making history🥳😍😍😩

fan4 Y’all peep all the athletes in her likes and comments. I wonder how many are in her dms👀🫣

↪️fan5 Shiiittt. Im in them too!!😭😭💯💯

↪️fan4 Me too🤦‍♂️

skaijackson YUP!! I know that’s right!!💁🏾‍♀️👸🎉🎉

❤️ liked by author

Jamalmusiala10, judebellingham, and 1,274 others started following you

----------------------------------------------

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yourusername added to their feed

Liked by judebellingham, jamalmusiala10, cocojones and 6,697,442 others

Yourusername: Party, afterparty, after party🥳🎉

Tyla: The prettiest!!!

↪️ yourusername: And that's what they prefer😝🤩

↪️ tyla: LMAOOO love that!💖💖💖

Judebellingham: 😍😍

↪️random1_Hey Jude??🤨...

random2: The way both Jude and Jamal started following her at about the same time.

↪️random3: Real ones know he's been lurking for a fat minute now!!

↪️random2: Guess I'm not a real one. Who?

↪️random3: Mr. Jude Victor Bellingham

↪️random4: And she's liked some of his pics, even though they don't follow eachother. Looks like Musiala already lost LOL

-----------------------

The weight of exhaustion presses down on you as you sink into the comfort of your bed. It's been a relentless week, filled with auditions, interviews, and movie filming sessions. The tranquility of your bedroom offers a brief respite from the chaos that typically surrounds your life.

But of course, that doesn't last forever.

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand. You debate ignoring it, anyone texting at this time falls into one of two categories—people who are wayy too thirsty for their own good and miserable haters. For some reason tonight, perhaps out of boredom or a faint hope for something different, you decide to check.

You received one instagram notification from JamalMusiala10

The name doesn't immediately register with you since it's so late and your mind is still heavy with sleep, but you open the message anyway.

You groan inwardly, already regretting your decision to open the message. Jamal Musiala—the famous soccer player that plays for that German team? Bayern? You only recently got into football, so there was still much for you to learn but you're pretty sure that's who he is. You'll stalk his socials tomorrow.

For now, though, what could he possibly want from you? It's 2 in the morning. Again, he's either wayyyy too thirsty or maybe he's a possible hater?

How's it hanging?!?!?

This boy can NOT be serious.

You can't help but stifle a laugh at his attempt at casual banter. Is he a middle-aged white dad?

Wayy too thirsty it is! Never fails.

To be continued…..

#Spotify #no beta we die like men #jamal #jamal musiala #musiala #instagram #jude bellingham instagram au #football instagram au #bayern munich #fc bayern #german #football fanfic #football fluff #fluff #imagine #football black reader #singer #grammy #soccer #black writers #been sitting on this for like a decade it feels like #jordan poole #basketball #jude #jude bellingham #tyla #tems #podcast #interview #black reader

[lindszeppelin]

So, why do you (and any commenters) dislike Kaia? I’ll go first! 😂

I’m in the industry and not only is she maybe the worst actress I’ve seen in a long time (let alone in high profile shows and movies-yikes!) but I honestly don’t think she’s even a good model. She has model good looks- like no matter how much she bugs me I’m not going to be a hater and act like she isn’t beautiful bc she truly is. Occasionally she has some interesting photographs but this new set for Marc Jacob’s Daisy is absolute amateur hour! (Google them if you don’t know bc I don’t know how to send them in anons- she’s in a sparkly black dress, looking happy/ derpy, and doing modeling 101 poses that basic girls who think they’re models do bc it’s cliche and not what actual seasoned working models do.) It’s so cringe and I’m honestly embarrassed for her. I’ve seen her do better, but half the time the poses are “meh” and/or the eyes are totally dead. Her walk is chaotic but many ppl disagree with me there. But like, she’s the worst nepo baby in my mind bc she truly lacks talent, a personality, and an IT factor.

I don’t know her personally and sometimes she seems nice enough, but there’s a coldness to her and she feels kind of try hard (trying to be older than she is, acting like she has lived this life where she’s learned lessons but never actually gets vulnerable and shares things worth sharing, and tries to be intellectual with soft reads when it’s like…girl just go to college?). She’s just… off. Maybe at 30 she’ll be cool (I really try not to hate or root against but again, she bugs me, but I’m trying to use my words versus being emotional) but she’s beyond hard to take seriously at this moment. And I’m sorry but hers and Austin’s body language is weird AF. Her fans are so young so they don’t see any of what I’m ( or what you) talk about.

Anyway, I’m just a frustrated girlie in the industry who can’t get arrested and am fine with nepo babies if they’re talented but Kaia truly isn’t. I don’t think she’d have a career if she couldn’t afford a good publicist so it feels like double cheating to win the race (opportunities plus PR). Then I looked into her more and again, something is just…OFF.

But when and why did you not care for her? I’m curious about how similar or not similar my experience was to other people. It feels like her PR is revving up and she keeps booking roles no matter how many people call Kaia Gerber’s acting “distractingly awful” so I want some solidarity lol. 🙏🏼 When were you like, “oh hell no!” (Or anyone else brave enough to comment or reblog with an answer!) Thanks 🩷

Hi girlie! First off, your message was so good that not only do I agree with what you said but I also feel like i'd be repeating what you said if i were to go into it lol. So for the sake of not being a broken record, i appreciate you coming forward and i double down on what you said.

as for when i started noticing, she really flew under the radar for me for a little while. i became a fan back in July of last year after seeing the movie. and i didn't have a lot to think about the relationship with Austin at that time aside from shes way too young for him. I wasn't researching anything at that point and i was more concerned with learning about Austin, getting to know him and getting absorbed in that content. I think it was sometime around maybe early fall that controversies about the relationship were spreading online. most notably it was the talk of their massive cringe worthy age gap where they got together before she could legally drink AND she was cool with his ex Vanessa in the past, but also as more pap photos came out I just began to notice the obvious signs that Austin was not really "there" or present or happy to be alongside Kaia. so i researched and all of that. then around the filming of bikeriders i had solidified 100% my stance on it with the clear signs of there being rumors of a breakup and the strange PR bullshit surrounding this couple henceforth. and here i am now.

but that's kind of the short answer lol. i'm used to being used as a dartboard for these idiot shippers to throw darts at because im not afraid to be vocal. so i hope that those of us here that feel the same way can have a platform to speak up. because listen, kaia ain't it and that man looks chronically dead when seen with her. so those that don't agree with my (or our, since there are so many of us that think this way) opinion then they can stuff it.

#lindsay's anon asks

[fideidefenswhore]

@theladyelizabeth

I read the first two and I'm ashamed to say I liked them before I did like ... even slightly deeper than surface level research on Henry's wives lol. 

oh, well, you’ll get no judgement from me, i read the lady elizabeth before i knew what was up re: w/eir, and as for these, i’ve at least skimmed most because they’re one of the few avail at my library...

it’s interesting to contrast how sex is portrayed, like this is one of the instances where you can absolutely judge books by their titles/covers. the c/oa and j/ane novels are always fade to black, sexual desire obliquely referenced but not made manifest (tbqh, catherine’s teenage crush on fray diego is as spicy as it gets, jane is...deeply offended and shocked by the quote about henry’s [lack of] virility in the trial of may 1536 because she’s like ‘that’s not true’,f ahitughfrdjsl;f...) the AB novel if you remember, is fairly sexually explicit but honestly more in the period before marriage than during (there’s no SA, at least not of anne in the novel, but one scene of extreme dubious consent that’s borderline prior to marriage, during betrothal, another than constitues sexual harassment in the form of a forced kiss, before betrothal) and w/eir seemed fairly obsessed with crafting scenes where anne is sexually humiliated in other aspects. the k/atheryn howard novel is extremely sexually explicit; i haven’t read all six but probably the most of all.

the author’s notes are another interesting point of contrast. w/eir spends pages  defending her choice to portray anne as fully conscious and in complete excruciating pain after her execution for an entire paragraph/s (?) by citing some study on deaths by guillotine in the 19th century (was anne killed by guillotine? no? apparently that’s irrelevant); she spends pages in the A/N of the katheryn howard defending henry, insisting he didn’t want katheryn die because he sent her to syon first, as if he could not have completely prevented her execution, and ultimately did not. 

maybe she has learned her lesson from the (limited...limited, for how egregious and voyeuristic and orgasmically schadenfreude it was) criticism that creative choice in novel 2 received, because the closing line of the KH novel is better than the tudors’ version, and at least, implies that she felt no pain, and died instantly, because the novel ends on the hyphen of her prayers:

‘God have mercy on my soul,’ she prayed aloud. ‘Good people, I beg you pray for me! God have mercy —’

not for them, the welcoming embrace of angels that c/oa receives, of course, but then, i would never expect that from w/eir. 

and the jane novel...omg, i have talked about it before, but i am just entirely flummoxed by the attempt, as she has called it, to create a sympathetic character of jane, because it failed so spectacularly. like, i am a hater, and i will fully admit that, but i did read the novel with an open mind and it is just like continually being slapped in the face with what planet does this woman live on, lol... 

as the title goes, she is ‘haunted’, and there’s this scene where she visits a place that henry norris and AB had a conversation that she remembers from when she was a lady-in-waiting. somehow she is convinced by the spirits of the place, or whatever, that they were both entirely innocent of all accusations, and she is...comforted by this? she’s comforted by the recognition/realization that (at the very least) two innocent people were falsely accused and wrongly put to death, rather than horrified by that. it’s...so much.��

#theladyelizabeth #replies #her view on katheryn howard seems to have progressed past the pretty gross things she wrote about her in the 90s at least... #like she mentioned her intercessions and generosity and loyalty to her family #maybe she came to develop a more positive view of katheryn over AB ; i mean i wish such a popular mainstay in tudor stuff did not have SUCH #a dim view of AB because it permeates but. i will take what i can get lol #gore tw/ #death tw/ #having read w/eir's interviews on anne like. knowing she hates her just makes her choices in the novel SO transparent #i actually kind of liked g lawrence's kh novel better...? that's probably very controversial but oh well #she actually pities henry . because she has warmth and he doesn't . she pities him to have to live the rest of his life as himself / #with himself; essentially #as per an earlier interview w/eir initially had a very dim view of jane s/eymour as well so maybe it's that.....? #but most of all she hates jane b/oleyn

[braindeadmaggot]

Yaay I get to ask you stuff!

2. Most hated character?

3. Favorite romantic ship with Shachi? And with Bonney?

16. If you could change one thing in One Piece (the story or the world), what would it be?

ask away sensei~ I am prepared to answer all.

BUT BEWARE ALL WHO ENTER!!

This will end up long winded and preachy just like my tags and fic comments.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

2. Most hated character?

believe it or not it’s not Blackbeard lol. I’m actually kind glad he exists and while I wish we had seen more of Thatch (it’s crazy he literally has like TWO panels in the manga and he’s super duper popular throughout the fandom, it’s so great). I hate quite a few characters, mostly because they suck or they pissed me off, but my top two are Nami and Bartholomew Kuma.

Why Nami? She’s kinda.... meh to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like that there are some normies in the plot that aren’t just naturally superhuman like Zoro and Sanji (but then we learn it’s haki and biological experimentation). Usopp’s a normie (his ammo is not), Tashigi and Kuina seem pretty normal to me (just very skilled with swords). Bartolomeo is pretty normal (he just has a janky devil fruit). I’m not really sure what it is, I had already disliked her before I discovered them diehard Nami haters (are they even still around, I never followed any of that). She was cool at first but I think the timeskip ruined her for me. Hard to explain. Hatred for Nami 7/10.

Bartholomew Kuma........ Kuma Kuma Kuma. Where the fuck do I start with this? I’ve had blow ups with Cyriusli about this a few times whenever his ass popped back up in the story line or in rando memes. I didn’t mind him in Thriller Bark, thought he was a good add-in to the whole ‘fuck around and find out’ bits. I love the memes of Zoro figuring out that his sacrifice was pointless because Kuma wasn’t really going to kill his boss’ son. Those are hilarious! It was during the time skip when we learned about Kuma, about him being a Revolutionary, when Ivankov got mad in the flashback, when we saw him guarding the Sunny, when he was a slave to the Celestials. It actually took me a couple of years and some talks with Cyriusli until I realized that Kuma planned all of this. How I didn’t notice before I have no clue, but everything he did, he did just full intention. He made deals with Vegapunk to experiment on him (consent), he sent the Straw Hats to islands that were perfect for their growth (you think he knew Sanji hated okama or was he just thinking “oh this boy is a cook, Iva-chan has all these amazing recipes he made for us before, this young cook will benefit from this” and just sent Sanji’s homophobic ass off to Twirling Heart Island. I also think he knew full well about Zoro’s plans to fight Mihawk so that must have been a last attempt at being a troll before becoming a mindless drone). And his last wish before losing all control was to protect the Sunny. What the serious fuck Kuma? How are you benefiting from this?? This is where I get mad. Why didn’t you tell Ivankov and Inazuma (oh btw I ship KumaZuma)? Why the lies? Why the deceit? Who are you trying to protect? I asked all these questions and thought of something.

NEW THEORY: He sent Franky to one of Vegapunk’s abandoned labs... He sent Franky to learn ALL ABOUT Vegapunk’s experiments. Bastard is banking on Franky being able to turn him back. That’s what it is. At first maybe he didn’t see a way out, but then he saw Franky and the Sunny at Thriller Bark, and of course he follows the news and learned about the new crewmate, he knows what Franky’s capable of. He finally agreed to Vegapunk’s terms and gave up, hoping the Straw Hats might save him. Now that’s a huge gamble but we all know Franky is a man of honor and might volunteer to do it. My hatred for Kuma went from 10/10 to 8/10, but I still don’t like him.

3. Favorite romantic ship with Shachi, or Bonney?

ho ho ho, before I got into KilGuin I was shipping Penguin with Shachi, and Killer with Bonney. I think the whole KilBon came from some old fanart when we were first introduced to the Supernova and also the fact that his fave food is pasta, and her fave food is pizza. I just imagined them owning an Italian resto together and said that’s the ship, done. Not the case anymore because I see Bonney as more of a lesbian or bisexual, but cares more about food than sex so it is was it is with her. I shipped Penchi because I liked the idea of them being childhood friends and they share a room in the sub and while they might not be exclusive to one another, they do often do dirty stuff together as a mutual “I scratch your back you scratch mine” kinda thing but they’re too close and too stupid to admit any real romantic feelings to the other. But they’re fine, they go to brothels together and dabble in the occasion threesome. [These are very old ideas, not sure if I’ll continue this when I write my monster fic.]

16. If you could change one thing in One Piece (the story or the world), what would it be?

As mentioned earlier I would have liked to see more of Thatch and who he was as a person. It’s confirmed that he’s a chef but I think we all deserve to see his talents showcased. Also how he interacted with the crew. Lot’s of fics and art depict him being super childish and playing pranks with Ace, making fun of Marco (aka Whitebeard’s parrot lol), and dancing with Izou. I love how the fandom made him into a real person but I crave to see him in official work.

I’d also like to see passed villains come back to the main plot. We see Foxy come back twice in fillers and in some movies, Crocodile came back in Impel down, Buggy is always around the lovable idiot. But I want to know more about Morgan and Klahadore, where did they go? What about Don Krieg? Did Mihawk chop him up and dump his body? What about Gin? We see Gin so much in fanfic, even in new released fics but he’s not been back since in the manga. What will happen if Morgan and Helmeppo meet again? Jango became a marine and I bet Morgan became a pirate lol.

SPOILERS: I think Eneru should make an appearance again with the happenings in the latest chapters.

In the world? Not sure... I theorize gravity is lower on OP Earth than ours, just by a little bit. Just enough to make us jump higher and fall slower but not affect our health too much, as the atmosphere will thin out a bit and it will be more difficult to breathe. (I imagine someone from our world would die if they go to Skypiea). (I was really excited to see this visualized in the new film Bubble, it’s on Netflix if you want to watch it~) so if this isn’t the case then i would change it to this.

My SO theorizes that the Void Century is like the missing history here in the Philippines. When the Spaniards came, they stayed for 333 years and they destroyed a lot of indigenous landmarks, tribes and nearly erased our mythology. There’s a lot that has been lost but luckily the Spanish didn’t go everywhere (we got over 7000 islands). It’d be cool if this was the inspiration (also Gray Terminal’s pollution is based on Manila).

#BrainDeadAsks #BrainDeadAnswers #Vergina-spva #long post #Bartholomew Kuma #one piece ask game

[salmonthestoryteller]

RNM Season 4 Episodes 1-2

I just finished watching episode 2 of season 4 of Roswell New Mexico, and honestly, I’m really enjoying the new season so far.

Fav parts right now: Every scene with Cam!  I am so happy to have her back this season!

Arturo for two episodes straight! It just makes me smile to see him on the screen.

I actually am enjoying Michael's little relationship panics and that multiple characters are giving him pep talks to help him overcome them. Because all of these little panics aren't actually about Alex or his feelings for him. They're all about Michael's past traumas and learning to overcome them. Even the console was about clinging to the past and the dream that helped him get through it. About learning to let that go and believe in the future he is building with Alex here and now.

And can we just pause a moment and consider the fact that Michael took a wooden model made of popsicle sticks and toothpicks to the location of his secret alien lab to try to fix it?  Like, no really, think on that for a moment.  And tell me it isn't absolutely adorable.

So, yes, Malex scenes were all A+ for me.

On the other hand:

Echo, eh it's Echo. Max has improved since first season, but he's still low on my scale of characters. So, I’ll never be a huge Echo fan. Though I can already feel the itch to add another piece to my comparison of Science Bros parallel character journeys in RNM for this season.  But I'll wait at least a few more episodes for that.

Honestly, I am disappointed in them having Max propose to Liz and not vice versa. I still feel that with their personalities and character journeys, it would make more sense for her to be the one to propose to him.  But that's my hang up.

I could ship Isobel and Anatsa - I could. There's definitely chemistry and possibilities in their scenes together.  Also, letting Anatsa have scenes outside of their relationship - like with Kyle at the hospital - goes a long way towards making her a more complete character and less of a “love interest” character.  That said, I saw the writing on the wall last season. They were never going to have this relationship last, so I just can't bring myself to enjoy it much.

I'm not fond of temporary romances in fiction to begin with.  To me they're usually a waste of time that could be spent developing other romantic or platonic relationships. Plus, there is rarely a reason to allow yourself to get attached to the temporary love interest because they are almost always taken out of the story the moment the relationship ends.  I just don't want to get emotionally invested in a character and relationship that's going to go poof.

Also, knowing there won't be a next season means that even though I know they've got Kybel set up, I won't get to enjoy it much if at all before the finale. I suspect I will be writing so much Kybel fiction. Lol.

On a more serious note, involving my girl Iz, I can already guess what all the Iz haters are saying about the end of episode 2.

So, I need everyone to take a step back and recall that THIS IS ISOBEL’S FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP SINCE EFFIN NOAH BRACKEN!!!

Yes, Iz has come a long way since then.

But the last long-term relationship she had? Noah.

The last person she “told the truth” to? Noah.

So maybe the reason she's struggling to tell the truth to Anatsa might have a little something to do with that? Hm?

The reason she resorted to using her powers rather than confessing the truth might be because the last person she was in a long-term relationship with, she hid the truth from for years and that's a hard habit to break?

That when she did confess the truth to that person it was right before she discovered they had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable?

The scene where she used her powers - the guilt from doing it that made her run away.  That was painful.  As was her spotting Kyle, and the relief on her face - because here was someone she could talk to. Someone she was safe with. Only to see his date and close herself off again.  Oof, that… yeah.

I really hope she gets a pep talk and not a lecture from someone about all this. Because… I have a theory of something coming later in the season. And I think it's gonna be painful for our girl Izzy.

I also think Kyle will be involved and that it will be painful for him too.

But this is too long already so theorizing next post.

#roswell new mexico #season 4 #meta #character thoughts

[larksandkatycryptids]

must not foster fail, omg— but they’re cute together.

I have kevin wilson’s earlier short story collection left to tackle but otherwise I think I’ve made it through his works enough to let myself have an honest distaste for his style etc. listening to his perspectives on his works deepened my distaste, lmao. so I just to have to accept the hater award on this like I have with my distaste for moshfegh. I see the merit but I don’t get why any of their talent would be used ~like that? to each their own.

trying out a new space and regardless of how this one works out I do feel good about archiving my old blog. I’d do it on my og but man— it would take too long. maybe someday. I feel a bit different and renewed and tbh this place helped birth me? like. that wasn’t my name and then it was— because of what I was able to learn and learn about myself though all this stuff. so I don’t want to give up tumblr. but at the same time, that is my name lol. it’s no longer 2008– it’s a username kinda world.

I also need to accept the ends of things and move accordingly. and I need to allow myself a space to make connections where I’ve historically learned the most about myself— dark(ish? lol ) corners of the internet that advertise to me less than similar blue sites. which I definitely feel intensely rn bc I’m back for the puppy fostering. hell on planet earth but I have to admit I would be missing out on a lot and they don’t do a text group chat and if they did that would be worse! so it’s like, okay. I see why I hate this place but also why others get so easily sucked in. if it were genuinely just beige personalities and bad politics with kid and pet photos I do think I could deal. but it’s adverts on adverts on breached privacy on top of all the come back to me interruptors that aren’t why you’re on facebook. I’m right!! and I feel super validated bc even at a healthy spot where I’ve got a specific purpose for logging in I still resent the reactivity involved with how the site functions— is designed to function.

I don’t want to participate in something that so disrespects my brain and body. many brains and bodies. it bodes poorly.

and tbh I don’t like dealing with people that spend too much time in that advert / validation loop. it’s not compelling of you!

but I see the benefits of groups and marketplace and also not having my actual phone number (not really my issue but one I don’t often enough consider) involved in these group threads.

it’s 2024 and I’m still struggling with this. pathetic!

anyway i fell asleep early this evening and am watching pinocchio on my couch because that’s where I sleep when a puppy needs lots of potty breaks. the eclipse was pretty cool and I feel grateful and well loved despite being disappointed in some of my media selections of late. kevin wilson, yes. but I’ve also read a few lackluster new releases I haven’t really thought about enough. now is probably not the best time to blurb on it.

okay. sleep again. also— trust yourself. make it clear.

[neverluckygoldfish]

23 -

Lately: been sick as a dog. I hate the flu.

With that being said, I also recently blew up my entire life….in a good way ;)

I have dreamed of settling down in the PNW my entire life. And no, not because I read twilight. My soul has felt at home in the moody gray, the greenery, the culture. I had plans to do so in the next two years. But life happens (as it does) and now I’m moving in 4 weeks!! Holy shit. It feels surreal.

Do I feel like this is a totally bonkers idea? Maybe. Probably. But I don’t care because everything in me is screaming “hell yes” towards this opportunity.

It’s a big change but I feel grateful because I don’t have an urge to drink or use (wild). It’s stress, but the good kind lol.

They say don’t make any major life changes your first year in recovery….but I’ve never been good at listening anyway.

I turn 30 next year. I’m new in recovery, a newlywed, no house or real assets, barely a retirement savings, no kids (except my dog is my child and you can’t convince me otherwise), a little money in the bank, unemployed (making a career change nonetheless), and jumping into this wild change, headfirst. This is not how I pictured 30 haha.

But something I’ve come to admire about myself is my resilience. If I have ever been unhappy with my situation or desired something - I have set my sights on it and fixed/gotten it. Maybe I did it the hard way and maybe I’m (often) too stubborn to listen to advice, but I did it. No looking back. A pro of being selfish. I have never been afraid to take a bold risk, to dare greatly.

Age is just a number baby! Unless it’s less than 18.

I’ve struggled to connect with my greater She lately - once again, I’m trying to control every aspect of my life. To race against some perceived idea that I’m running out of time. That I have wasted all this time with my issues. That I’m behind.

Maybe that’s why I’m sick? If signs are real, I’ll take this as one that I need to SLOW tf down and surrender.

A friend recently told me “it sounds like you are building recovery around your life when you should be building your life around recovery”. It got me thinking. It made me pause….she’s so right. I think it’s an easy trap to fall into. Once things are good, I just race to the next thing. My foundation is fragile right now. What I do, my attitude - it determines my perspective. It sets a precedent moving forward.

I want to let go of the old me: insecure, approval seeking, people pleasing, melancholy, secretive, controlling, perfectionist. I welcome the new me who sees challenges as an adventure, who is kind not only to others but most importantly, to herself. Who lives a fulfilling life and finds joy in the stillness of every day. Who isn’t afraid to chase her dreams. Who trusts in her own capabilities. Who says fuck the haters (lol, but literally).

I am the woman in the arena. Forever.

I needed that reminder.

So yeah, big move but I am so ready. It feels like a fresh start. Also the little kid in me is like “omg eeeeee!!!!!! Check, life dream accomplished”. Energy is on overload lol.

I’m in a good headspace and at a point in my life where I’m comfortable with who I am. I’m not chasing what’s not meant for me. I’m releasing my shame. I’m learning to forgive myself. I’m staying present. I am becoming proud of the person I was / the person I am.

It’s never too late to start over. Everything can be fun, it’s all dependent on perspective. I welcome the next few months and all the adventures ahead!!!

I have faith in my intuition - my greater She. She has led me here.

Each day, a little better and brighter.

#self love #healing #recovery #mental health #sobriety #healing journey #addiction #drug and alcohol addiction #alcoholism #positive attitude #positivity #focus on the positive #life changing #love yourself #love your life

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Whenever I write these it’s always when I have a pile of requests on my desk that I said I was going to get to but never do. I even missed a day yesterday because I crashed and burned and slept the entire day haha. Might miss today too since I’m going out to see my mum. 

This is like 90% crack and 10% actual content. I’m gonna post this and proceed to have shock therapy and wipe it from my memory.

I just want to be happy and it’s cold af where I live. I’ve also learned from maagdalen that Russia is insane with snow.  

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to asoundofdrop. Ty for the love on the Childe HCs hehe. Honestly, just the fact you tag everything blows my mind because I hate tagging so just seeing you do it with my mess of tags (back when I screamed my feelings before tumblr dropped the ban hammer on me) is like wow. That’s some next level effort, wish I had that haha;; I’m just gonna say this in advance, I am so sorry for the mess of tags I’m about to drop on this. 

---

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji  @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz​

@youaskedfurret @snowy224 @mayumintsu​ @tigerpriestess

---

Xiao

Excuse me? What is this cold you speak of? He’s an adepti he doesn’t know what cold is. Is it a demon he’s not aware of? Should he go beat it into submission if that’ll make you feel better? He’s already gone with his spear and out to go slay this cold demon before you can explain what the hell temperature is. 

By the time he’s back, he seems so proud of himself for killing a dragonspine yeti that you don’t have the heart to tell him that was literally not what you wanted or expected him to do. Your fingers are about to break their finger kneecaps. pLEASE sir just hold my hand. 

Bad idea, he’s been outside in the cold and he’s not exactly wearing mittens so your fingers end up colder. But you’re finally holding his hand that you suck it up and cry when he does actually break your fingers because he doesn’t know what muscle control is. 

Keqing

Ruthless business woman one second and then you show up, tell her you’re cold, and she’s reduced to flustered mother hen. All she has on her are these long sleeves that all Qixing wear. Would you like some warm milk? She knows you like your milk heated to a simmer right at 187.7975 degrees Fahrenheit.

Okay, first off, who measures in fahrenheit anymore this is China Liyue. Second off, how the hell does she know that and why is it so precise? She’s already throwing whatever Liyue duties she had back at the poor worker that has no idea what possessed the normally confident and admirable Keqing into this...creature. Making new plans for a heating system in Liyue while also coddling you. 

Catch her outside at 3am pounding the snow ground, crying, as she curses Rex Lapis for making it so cold in Liyue when he’s not even the Cyro archon. Zhongli sneezed while looking over papers burning the 3am oil. Maybe he needs to go home before it gets too cold, he might be getting sick. 

Diluc

God you’re such an idiot. Didn’t you see how hard the snow was falling? I can’t believe I married someone with 2 braincells. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What would father in the sky think if my partner died because of frost bite when I’m a goddamn pyro vision user? I can commit arson to make a make-shift fire place, I have the money for the damages. 

Dilu- NO I DON’T NEED YOUR SHIRT. IT’S -20 DEGRESS. IT’S OKAY. YOUR COAT IS ENOUGH. PUT YOUR CLAYMORE AWAY WE CANNOT SET THE KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS HQ ON FIRE WE AREN’T EVEN NEAR THERE. KAEYA IS INSIDE- DILUC - NO COME BACK. 

Your make shift fireplace is Kaeya’s “ugly” scarf. That’s it. That’s the post. 

Amber

Oh you’re cold? It’s okay, here take her baron bunny to cuddle with while she lights a fire. She thinks she saw some boar’s in the forest, she can make her specialty and that should warm you right up! So sweet, so wholesome. Don’t worry this baron bunny won’t explode in your face, she tripled checked she wasn’t giving you a dancing bomb.

While you’re huddled around a summoning circle of baron bunny’s, nice and warm, is when she relaxes and joins you. She grins to herself and pats herself on the shoulder. See that haters, she can make her partner nice and happy without your #buffamberwhen. 

Kaeya

You’re cold? Maybe you’ve just fallen so hard for him that whenever you think of him you get cold. He never knew you cared so much it’s so cut- okok you can stop hitting him now. He’ll offer his scarf if he had one but Diluc might have burned it but he does have his tit window. 

Basically impenetrable, you could bounce bullets off it so naturally the cold bounces off. You have to tell him up front that he sound borderline crazy and the fbi are already at his door. The fbi is Diluc. So instead he offers his overcoat and asks you if you would like to join him in some cozy tavern that hopefully has heating. 

It’s a nice and comforting experience until he drags you to Angel share and you know it’s just to 1v1 Diluc in the parking lot. 

Scaramouche

lol perish 

So naturally, you grab his ridiculous hat that he wears to compensate for his gremlin height and throw it like a frisbee. 

Go fetch 

---

God, why is there no official content of you scaramouche you bitch, you’re ruining the aesthetic. This is why I only give you one point of dialogue. This isn’t even funny. It’s a therapy session. This entire post was just for me to say tit window because I didn’t get to say it in my last Kaeya fic. 

Wow, I wonder which characters I like in genshin. Could it be “wow I hate everything and everyone don’t fucking touch me” male characters??? Could it be “Head strong but are secretly adorable” female characters?? Kaeya is only there because Diluc is there. 

I had to redo all my headers because everyone was taking up so much space in their 240p quality. Keqing is the only one that actually stepped forward when it was picture day. I don’t have enough energy to care about sizing I’m sorry. 

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin crack #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #genshin impact xiao #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya x reader #genshin impact kaeya #scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #genshin amber #amber x reader #genshin amber x reader #genshin diluc #genshin diluc x reader #diluc x reader #genshin keqing #keqing x reader #genshin keqing x reader

[t-lostinworlds]

Truth or Drink (Tom Holland)

[YouTube AU: Video 2]

a/n: this took a while asdfghjkl this was in my drafts since oct. at 7k already (but got distracted with other WIPs as always) and was suggested by this anon back in aug. so i’m sorry this took a so long hun. also, the gif took a fucking while too ‘cause we are extra in this house haha (i mean, i wanted the time in the vid to match the wc so ha). anyway, enough babbling and let’s get into the video! lol, i hope you guys enjoy this one!

summary: You and Tom do a couples Q&A where you spilled steamy secrets with the help from alcohol. pairing: tom holland x fem!reader warnings: dialogue bonanza (lots of laughing and asking), alcohol consumption, secret spilling (from both parties), teasing from everyone (will include dirty jokes from the lads), mentions of smut & risque aka sex-themed questions. word count: 14.2k+ (aha enjoy!)

☰ youtube channel | previous video << ǁ >> next video ☰ masterlist on bio & pinned post

⚠ DISCLAIMER: this is a multi-part (not a series) which is basically one-shots happening in the same universe meaning you don’t need to read the previous one to understand this one since they are not heavily connected plot wise. although each fic does happen chronologically, you don’t need to read them in order much like how you don’t need to watch youtube videos in order.

-:-:-:-:-

You knew something was about to happen the moment you walked into the dining area, the way Tom immediately went to latch onto you like a koala bear—as if he hasn't seen you just minutes before—tells all.

"What are you up to now?" you asked with a playful scrunch of your nose.

You rested your hands on his shoulders, the fabric of his pink hoodie—while you wore his other pink hoodie, outfits not at all planned since you just took the first thing you saw in his closet—soft to the touch as you took a glance at the camera that was set up at the head of the dining table. The greenery of the outside world behind the glass doors served as a backdrop to the shot.

The crease between your brows deepened at the sight, gaze landing back on the boy attached to your hip who was hugging you sideways with a certain glow in his eyes.

"I'm not up to anything," Tom denied, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck to litter the skin with sweet and soft kisses. Although the gesture made your heart melt, it also made your suspicion grow. You just know there was more to this than meets the eye.

Strong arms staying around your torso, Tom pulled away slightly so he could meet your gaze again, a certain smile growing on his lips, one you know too well. It was the usual smile he wears whenever he wants something from you, a favor perhaps. An all too powerful grin that had you made him get away with things—mostly stupid ones—easily that you aren't exactly proud to admit.

"Tom," you warned with a raise of a brow, enough seriousness and command in your tone that he was quick to give in.

"Okay, okay, we're shooting the next video," he chuckled, tracing your jaw with the tip of his nose before giving it a soft peck. "Which I am hoping you'll do with me still," he murmured, placing another kiss on your cheek before pulling away to look at you fully as he flashed you a not-so-innocent smile.

Bingo.

Tom just doesn't suddenly become so clingy—well, he normally is but more than usual anyway—especially out of nowhere without it having an underlying reason.

You narrowed your eyes at him skeptically. You stayed silent as you weighed your odds, if the enjoyment of making the video was worth it for you to endure the obvious embarrassment that would come with it. You do love this YouTube thing he's got going on, you truly do enjoy being a part of it. But with the things he's spilled in the last video, you just want to make sure that this time won't be too much, though you highly doubt it.

It was hilarious how his bottom lip started to go at your reaction, eyes turning rounder, cuter that would give Puss in Boots a run for his money. And just as you counted in your head, three, two, one—

"Please, darling? Do it with me?" Tom cooed, placing his head on your shoulder as he gave your waist a loving squeeze, fluttering his eyelashes at you in the most adorable of ways with that cute pout to match. It was his signature look whenever he wanted something, the look of handsome and adorable persuasion. "I'll keep the secret-spilling at a minimum, love. And besides, we can always edit it out."

You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head at the fact that you're saying yes either way. You can never say no whenever he puts on that very persuasive face of his, can never resist him even if you tried. And of course, Tom knows this power he has over you, and he's mastered a way on how and when to use it to his advantage.

You aren't exactly proud to say that he has never failed once, his tactic very effective and that's putting it lightly. It's sneaky and annoying sometimes but it's still cute nonetheless.

Though, never did he once abuse this weakness of yours, only using it with the little things—like letting him sneak in some snacks on set when he was instructed not to or when he wants to do certain stuff—because when it's something serious and you say 'no,' then he's quick to listen and settle when you've made your final decision. He knows you only have the best intentions when it comes to his safety and just him in general, so there's really no doubt on Tom's behalf when it comes to following you on that.

"Why me? Why not give the other boys a chance to be in the spotlight?" you proposed, not giving him the satisfaction of winning just yet.

Tom shrugged with a wide smile. "The fans love you," he hummed.

The reception of the last video was mostly positive. Maybe it was the fact that you've been with Tom for a couple years already.

Your relationship was private of course, but it wasn't a secret. It was relatively the both of you showing glimpses of it every now and then online. So, compared to when the news first broke out, this time was a bit calmer. There are still trolls and haters—they're always going to be there unfortunately—but you've learned to shut them out, turning your focus more on the ones who are very positive and supportive. They should be the only ones who should be given attention to, no point wasting your energy on random keyboard warriors.

"You mean they love it when I make fun of you?" you said, laughter escaping your lips soon after when Tom buried his face back on the crook of your neck as he groaned in dismay.

Let's just say his fans quite enjoyed how you handled him in the last video, the teasing, the banter, the whole lot. Tom hasn't been able to escape the countless clips that are circulating the good old internet. No matter which platform he uses, a clip or meme is always there to haunt him. Most of them vary from him screaming and wriggling in pain; laughing like a hyena while also wriggling in pain; the random facial expressions he's made; and even sometimes, a snapshot of you looking at him in great disappointment and/or embarrassment. That's just some among the plethora of other memes.

Tom had seen it coming of course, but it doesn't mean it's any less embarrassing, especially with how clueless he seemed when it came to women.

"Unfortunately, that too," he grumbled.

"Okay then, might as well give them more content," you teased, Tom pulling away again to gawk at you with a look of feign betrayal crossing his features. You could only laugh at that, giving his jutted out lip a kiss to replace it with one of his many sweet smiles. Despite you saying it in a joking manner, he can't really deny that that would happen either way. After all, no matter what he does, he will always be a walking meme.

Tom finally lets you go after one more peck on the cheek, guiding you towards the seat by the other end of the table soon after. He helped you in like the gentleman that he is, a kiss landing on top of your head once you were seated before he made his way towards his place.

"What are we doing this time?" you asked when Tom sat down on the chair across from you.

And as if on cue, Harry walked into the dining area with two bottles of gin on hand, Harrison following suit with a bowl of half-sliced limes along with Tuwaine with a bucket of ice and two Collins glasses.

"Truth or drink," Harry said with a wide grin, lifting the bottles of Aviation gin to further prove his point.

"You guys chose me to do this with him because I'm a lightweight, which means I'm more likely to talk, didn't you?" you said, narrowing your eyes at each of them as they placed their respective items right in front of you in the middle of the table.

All three boys gasped exaggeratedly at your accusation, shaking their heads as they made their way behind the camera, chorusing a bunched of:

"Oh no, of course not."

"That was not the plan."

"We would never."

You could only roll your eyes at them, playfully of course, turning back to Tom who was quick to throw his hands up in surrender once he took in your expression of pure suspicion.

"I swear, I just want to do this with you, plain and simple," he confessed, though his follow up sentence made you think that it wasn't as plain and simple. "But you are very funny when you have alcohol in your system."

"Does that mean I'm not when sober?" You raised your brow at the man across you, sitting straight up as you clasp your hands together, resting it on the table to seem serious.

Tom shook his head frantically. "No! You're still very funny sober!" he rushed. "Love, you know what I meant," he added with a whine, head dropping low once you let out a laugh, only lifting it back up to shoot you another pout. He can be quite gullible sometimes and you honestly love it, love teasing him about.

"Besides, it's a couples Q&A and the only couple here are you two so there aren't really any options. The only difference is that it has alcohol to spice things up a little," Harry said, now in his place behind the camera just like before.

"With equally spicy questions," Harrison added with a wriggle of his brows, coming back up on the head of the table to place a stack of white cards to which you assumed was where the questions were written.

"You guys wrote the questions didn't you? Okay, this is a set up," you joked.

"They're harmless questions I swear!" Harrison defended with a laugh before returning back to his place by the camera. Though knowing them for as long as you have, you've learned to never trust those words fully. It was highly expected that the questions aren't going to be simple, let alone safe for work.

"But if you're not comfortable doing it, it's totally fine, darling," Tom said, smiling sweetly as he grabbed your hands across the table and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He knows you have never been an avid drinker. As you've said, you are lightweight. So, if ever you wanted to back out, he's just making sure you know that you have the option to.

"No, I'm fine with it. This will be fun," you said, flashing him a true, reassuring smile of your own, squeezing his hand in return for good measure. "But can I at least have some juice or something? I'm not drinking gin straight," you added.

"Figured you'd say that," Tom said with a wide grin, rushing up from his seat and disappearing into the kitchen. He came back not long after with a bottle of orange juice on one hand all while holding a spoon and paring knife on the other. "Rollin' down the street, smokin' indo, sippin' on gin and juice," he sang the good old Snoop Dogg classic no matter how corny, placing the bottle juice right beside the gin on the head of the table.

You narrowed your eyes at your man. "You seem prepared Tom."

"Nope, I just know you too well," he hummed, giving you a sweet peck on the forehead before he was back on his seat across you.

"Right, let's give the people what they want," you said, rubbing your hands together with a wide smile.

It was Tom's turn to look at you skeptically. "Why do I have a feeling that we'll just take turns in exposing each other?"

You tilted your head at him with a grin, shrugging your shoulders and said,

"How bad can it be?"

***

"And we are rolling."

"What's up guys! Tom Holland here," he introduced with a loud clap. "I'm back with another video joined by none other than the gorgeous Y/N." You waved at the camera with a sweet smile at the mention of your name. "The rest of the gang are behind the camera as per usual," Tom added, the lads cheering at their cue unenthusiastically and totally not in sync, chuckles and giggles following soon after.

"You can feel the excitement in the room," Tom said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "Anyhow, since lovely Ryan Reynolds sent me a case of gin just recently, I thought; why not put it to good use?" Tom shot the camera a knowing look. "Hashtag not sponsored but should be!" he yelled, making you jump slightly at the sudden loud sound.

"Do you have to be so loud?" you grumbled, playfully covering your ears in the process.

"Oh, sorry love," Tom chuckled, shooting you a sweet smile before turning back to the camera, finger pointed at it as he said, "But Ryan, my DMs are always open."

"Always looking for someone to replace me," you sighed, shaking your head dejectedly as you turned to the camera with a deep frown.

"Ah, here we go," Tom groaned, shooting you a playful glare because he knows that the teasing would only get more and more prominent from here on out.

"What? You and I both know I've got a lot of competition," you said as a matter of fact, leaning back on your seat with arms crossed over your chest. "Mainly Jake G. and Harrison, with a couple of variations here and there but you get what I mean."

Tom shook his head at you with a teasing roll of his eyes. "Once again, my girlfriend everyone," he said to the lens with a tight lip smile before turning back to you with a deadpan expression. You only shrugged in response, flashing him an innocent smile.

"Anyway, a fan suggested this in the comments of the last video so today, we're going to be doing Truth or Drink," he continued, turning back to face the camera. "Rules are simple, we take turns on reading out the questions that are written on these cards right here"—Tom lifted the stack of white, rectangular cards before placing them back on the table—"and we either answer them truthfully or we take a drink."

"Oh and a little disclaimer," you paused as you looked at the camera. "The lads wrote the questions so we have no idea what's in the cards nor did we have any involvement in the choosing of certain topics which are possibly going to be discussed in this video," you added, feeling like it was a fact that needed to be said.

"Parental guidance is advised," Tom chuckled.

"They're not that bad you divs," Harrison grumbled.

Now you're certain on who wrote most of the questions, he's been keen on taking offense whenever anyone gets suspicious over them. "We'll be the judge of that," you stated, raising a brow at Harrison before turning back to Tom.

"Let's get right into it shall we?" Tom proposed. You gave him a nod in response, jutting out two thumbs up for good measure. "Ladies first," he said, flashing you a charming grin as he gestured towards the pile of cards.

You reached over to the pile, making sure to pick the card in the middle just to make sure that it was completely random. You adore the lads, but knowing how mischievous they can get, you've learned to always keep one eye open with regard to everything that they do. Plus, it was so easy to set it up for you to pick a certain question given that it was only you and Tom taking turns on picking a card.

"We are starting off with something a tad bit dark huh." You gave the lads a swift glance before turning to the card you had on hand. "If I killed someone would you help me cover it up?" you read out loud, placing the card on the discarded pile before your gaze landed on Tom who gave you a small, secretive nod 'yes' which only made you giggle.

Tom leaned forward as he rested his elbow on the marble surface, hand playing with his chin with his eyes on the ceiling to seem that he was deep in thought. He turned back to you and said, "Do we not get any context? Was it an accident or was it on purpose? Was it due to hate or fear? Was it justified?"

"It's a yes or no answer Tom," you laughed.

"Well then, you already know the answer but for legal purposes," Tom paused, reaching for the bucket of ice and putting some in his glass. He poured the gin on top of that and then added a dash of lime, swirling around the glass to mix them all together. "My lips are sealed," he chuckled, lifting the glass up to his lips and taking a drink. "Oh, that's good stuff," he commented, taking another sip before putting the glass back down.

"Hypothetically, if you were going to help, you'll probably be the one who'll get us caught if I'm being honest," you giggled to which Tom threw his head back with a laugh.

"Yeah, you'll tell me what you did, I'll get shocked and as we're getting stuff to you know, hypothetically hide the body, I'll go 'I can't believe you killed someone' in public and then someone will hear and call the police and we're done."

You burst out in a hearty laugh at that, nodding your head in agreement. "That's exactly how it's going to happen."

It was Tom's turn to pick a question, his grin growing wider as his eyes scanned the card in his fingers. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've done in front of me?" he asked, his features brightening in excitement because he already knows the answer. There wasn't really much to begin with other than that one incident that will always haunt you for the rest of your life.

"Do you want me to tell them the story?" you sighed, leaning back on your chair with palms flat on the table. It wasn't one of your finest moments that's for sure and Tom hasn't been letting you hear the end of it. In fact, it was one of his favourite stories involving you both.

"It's up to you, love. You don't have to if you don't want to." Tom shrugged with a smirk, reaching for your glass to get your drink made. "But that moment was so adorable for me though, embarrassing for you but very adorable for me," he added with a wink.

"Adorable or ego boosting?" you pointed out with a raise of your brow.

"Both," Tom laughed, adding some ice in your glass and pouring just the right amount of gin soon after.

You watched with an adoring smile as he poured in the orange juice, the sound of silverware and glass clinking together filling the air as he mixed up the liquids. He then squeezed a bit of lime in your drink, taking the paring knife soon after to slice up another lime in a thin circle, making a small slit in the middle so he can put it on the rim of your glass easily. Tom can be extra at times, of course he felt the need to decorate your drink, even when it wasn't exactly necessary but you wouldn't want it any other way.

"Look at you being a bartender," you teased, Tom looking up from his task to shoot you playful wink with a smug smirk to match.

"You love to see it."

You shrugged, not at all denying his claim because well, you do love seeing it.

"Here you go, mi lady," he hummed, handing you your beautifully decorated drink with a proud grin on his lips.

"Thank you, kind sir."

As much as how refreshing the cocktail looked in its cold glass and bright, orange colored glory, you know you had to be strategic with drinking. Because alcohol boosts your confidence, it makes you brave, it makes you say things you wish you hadn't when sober. And with you being lightweight, it isn't exactly ideal to be happy-go-lucky with it, especially knowing how these questions can go from one thing to another real quick.

You thought it's best to share embarrassing things that you can live with to keep the drinking at a minimum, rather than take too much alcohol too fast and say worse things down the line because you got somewhat tipsy or downright drunk. There's really no way of knowing how hard it hits given that different types of alcohol affect you in different ways.

"Okay, it was when we first met, which obviously doesn't make it any less embarrassing, first impressions and all that," you started, sitting straight up as your fingers drummed around the cool surface of your glass. "Me and a friend of mine were at this park and decided it would be fun to rent out these bikes to get around quicker, so we did. Lo and behold, Tom and Harrison were also at said park—"

"Oh yeah, I remember this," Harrison laughed. "This is going to be good."

You shot the blonde lad a quick glare before continuing. "Luck wasn't on my side that day—well, depends on how you look at things because I did meet Tom and seem to have gotten far," you laughed towards the camera, giving Tom a swift glance who was quick to lock eyes with you as he nodded agreeably with a chuckle. "But add that to me being very clumsy and simply put, I fell off the bike right in front of him," you sighed dejectedly, heat coating your cheeks as the lads chuckled in their seats, purely in amusement and not at all in a demeaning way.

"Go on love, let's hear the full thing," Tom encouraged, sitting back on his chair with his arms crossed over his chest to relax, attention fully on you as if he hasn't heard this story many times before. He genuinely does love hearing it. As you've said, it was one of his favourites.

"I'm getting there," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at Tom who only flashed you an adorable, bright smile, knowing that if he does that, you can't stay mad at him. With a another sigh, you continued, "As we were riding our bikes, we saw him and Harrison sitting on this random bench from afar doing, I don't know, maybe they were on a date or something—"

"Darling, don't try and steer the topic here," Tom laughed. You stuck out your tongue at him—yes, very mature—his laughter only growing louder at your reaction.

"I'm a big fan of the Marvel movies, so obviously, I knew who he was. I was trying to keep my cool, you know, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him and thought I'll just ride pass, don't want to disturb whatever they had going on. But as soon as we got near to where they were sat, he looked towards my direction and we made eye contact—"

"The power I have," Tom crooned with a smug smile, earning a pointed eye-roll from you.

"Oh shut up. You know that wasn't the sole reason why I fell," you scoffed. "The chains on my bike went loose so I had no full control over it. We weren't going slowly as well because this friend of mine thought it was a good idea to one up each other so we kept going faster and faster, racing towards who knows what.

"So, my next option was to just plant my foot on the ground to stop it right? But as I've said, luck wasn't on my side that day. Before I could even do it, a rock went under the front wheel—which I didn't see given that I was distracted, you lot know why—and completely took me off balance and the bike went sideways real quick that I didn't have any time to react at all. And...did I roll a few times?" You turned to your boyfriend.

"Twice," he confirmed, a sympathetic smile on his lips as he tilted his head at you sweetly.

"Now, I don't see why you find this story adorable." You narrowed your eyes at your man.

"Not the actual accident, darling. It's what happened after that I found adorable. You were so cute being all shy and embarrassed," Tom defended with a pout. "And you know for a fact that whenever I see you with the smallest scrape or cut I panic and fuss over you immediately."

"You do. A bit too overdramatically," you giggled. It was a bit much sometimes how he worries but that's just Tom being the caring and overprotective boyfriend that he is. "Anyway, so yes, I rolled on the ground twice but all I remember was that I was already lying on my back, watching the sky while my knees, forearms up to my elbows and palms were burning. Then I saw Tom approaching and I swear I was just wishing that the ground would swallow me up right then and there," you finished.

"I quickly rushed to her aid, because you know, I'm Spider-Man," Tom added with a cocky shrugged, arms open wide as if to showcase himself.

There was a loud, collective groan from the lads which earned a laugh from you and a sound of pure protest from Tom.

"It's true!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, she then went, 'oh, my knight and shining armour, my handsome Prince Charming'," Tom gushed, voice at a higher pitch with the utmost exaggeration as he placed the back of his hand over his forehead. "And I went, 'don't worry princess, I'm here to save you,' and then we kissed and lived happily ever after," he concluded with the cheekiest smile.

"We remember this story very differently." You shook your head at him with a hearty laugh. This boy is always something else. "But fine, I'll give you the Prince Charming part because you did look like it.

"What you said was, 'miss, are you alright?' which was very formal of you, especially with the accent." You turned to the camera with a suggestive wiggle of your brows, making Tom drop his head shyly with a chuckle as his cheeks turned slightly pink. "And no, we didn't kiss. You don't kiss people you just met Thomas, get a hold of yourself. He helped me up and was kind enough to offer to take me to the hospital which wasn't needed since it was just a few cuts and scrapes but still insisted that I get checked. Who knew you'd be overprotective since day one," you laughed.

Tom shrugged with a chuckle. "We got to know each other while in the hospital and after she got cleaned up, I thought, I liked talking to her and I really don't want to say goodbye just yet. So, I invited her to lunch which she surprisingly said yes," he teased, sarcasm laced in his tone at his last sentence as he shot the camera a knowing and smug look. You kicked him lightly under the table, the action catching him off guard making him let out a yelp.

"It was more of me being polite because you helped and that. Didn't want to seem rude by saying no," you said, Tom gasping in full offense at your words. You let out a laugh as you rushed, "I'm kidding! Of course I wanted to go to lunch with you. It was impossible to say no because you've been really sweet and a real gentleman that day. And well, it was fun hanging out with you."

Tom smiled widely at that, nothing but pure love coating his features as he held your gaze, hand sneaking over to yours that was on the table and giving it a quick but loving squeeze.

"Where did Harrison go?" Harry wondered, the blonde boy suddenly turning silent and surely enough when you gave him a swift glance, he was already blushing.

"I had my friend with me, Tom had Harrison, you do the math," you said plainly, laughter laced in your tone.

"Oh, so you got some that day," Tuwaine chuckled, nudging the boy beside him with his elbow.

"Shut up, Tuwaine," Harrison grumbled, swatting away his friend lightly.

"But in conclusion, I am a superhero in real life," Tom stated proudly, swiping away the imaginary dust that was lying on his shoulder. He turned to the camera with a bright and wide smile. "But I do thank that bike every day."

"A bit sadistic but okay," you added, looking at Tom skeptically with a scrunch of your nose.

"No! I meant we wouldn't have gotten to know each other if that didn't happen," Tom rushed, lips turning into a pout when you only did nothing but laugh. "You're mean."

"You're just too adorable not to pick on," you giggled, his pout turning more prominent at your words.

You so badly wanted to get up off your seat and give him a proper kiss, but those things are always reserved privately. You two had never been big with public displays of affection, just the casual holding hands and occasional hugs. There are a few instances where you'll sneak a quick kiss while hanging out with friends but that's different compared to it being on tape for the whole world to see later on.

"Anyhow, what's the most embarrassing thing that you have done in front of me?" You asked back, your turn to grin wide because you know which story it was going to be, the way Tom's cheeks were quick to be dusted red was a clear indication that you were right.

"I'm smooth as hell, would never embarrass myself in front of a lady," he said casually, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair, all cool and suave.

"Oh shut up and tell the story," you said with a playful roll of your eyes, Tom letting out a shy chuckle before he leaned on the table.

"Right, it was our second date and I split my trousers open," he said, short and sweet, though his blush was already deepening because Tom knows the sharing won't stop there.

"Wait, how open?" Tuwaine asked.

"Like full on, centre to back, underwear and inner thighs with a bit of butt showing open. It would have been a bit better if I wore black pants—boxers to the American people—and black trousers right? But me being unlucky, I went for light-coloured denim jeans and black pants that day so it's fully obvious that I did ripped my trousers open," he chuckled shyly, hand going to rub at his shoulder, body slightly crouched as he refused to look away from his glass of gin.

"Go on Thomas, let's hear the full thing," you prodded, throwing his previous words right back at him.

He lifted his head up to shoot you a playful glare, though sat straighter anyway, elbows now on the table with his hands clasped together as he got ready to tell his story. "We were well underway our second date, a simpler one which was a walk in a somewhat less crowded park—"

"What's with you two and parks?" Harrison pointed out with a chuckle.

"Disaster just waiting to happen as you can tell," Tom laughed.

"We've steered clear from parks after all these incidents," you joked with a giggle.

"I did a flip and didn't land the right way was basically what happened," Tom continued, turning to the camera with a look of dismay. "We were walking by a couple of street dancers who were practicing a routine and they were doing all sorts of flips and tricks. She stopped walking completely and watched—wait, correction, stared at this certain bloke who was doing backflips—"

"I was not staring," you butted in. "I was just watching him do his thing and said how cool it was. And why are you making it seem like it's my fault?" you gasped, placing a hand over your heart, feign offence crossing your features.

"I'm not!" Tom laughed, hands up in surrender before he crossed his arms over his chest. "All I'm saying was that I was trying to impress you, which is why I offered to show you a flip. And as everyone in this room knows, I do the stupidest things when trying to impress a girl, especially when I like her that much."

"I was already impressed by you as is Tom, you didn't need to do a flip," you said as a matter of fact, small giggles escaping your lips as you looked at him with nothing but pure adoration. Tom felt his heart melt at the sight and more by your words. "And besides, I already knew you could do it. But somehow you felt the need to prove yourself after you saw me complimenting that dancer," you added.

"It's what you call ego, Tom," Harry laughed.

"Shut up, Harry." Tom shot his brother a glare though chuckled right after because it was in fact a bit true.

It was the silliest thing thinking back on it now, how he just said 'you want to see me do a flip?' out of the blue. You furrowed your brows at him in response, though your smile was laced with amusement. He just wanted to impress you as he'd said. And fine, maybe his ego got struck at teeny bit, and maybe he felt a little jealous that your attention got torn off of him because he truly did like you that much.

But at the end of the day, even though he had a little mishap, it all worked out so he wasn't at all complaining. "Anyway, so I did the flip, completely disregarding the fact that my shoes were slippy and my trousers were tight. I did land upright and not on my face this time so that's something," Tom chuckled. "But my right foot slipped so I was full on going on a wide split which I normally can't do since I am not flexible enough and proceeded to fall on my bum.

"The moment I heard the sound I instantly knew and just went, 'oh no' and remained on the ground because I didn't know what to do then. I was already embarrassed because I slipped, do I really want to tell her I tore open my trousers too?" Tom laughed timidly, the blush on his cheeks turning redder as he rubbed the back of his neck in utter embarrassment.

"I kind of knew right away though because I did hear something rip," you giggled. "He then just slowly stood up, hands behind, flat on his bum and said, 'I split my trousers open' in the smallest voice like a kid who's scared to tell their mum they fell or they'll get scolded. Plus his face was beet red, just like now." You pointed towards your boyfriend, who in turn stuck his tongue out at you as his blush turned into an even deeper shade of crimson.

"Thank God I wore a jacket that day and I was able to at least hide it until we got back to the car or else someone would've clocked it, took a picture, posted it on the internet and it would've made things much worse," Tom pointed out with a chuckle, glad that there was no paparazzi or it would've been a nightmare. "And the fact that you tried so hard not to laugh but still failed made me feel so embarrassed that I was quick to think that that was it. I ruined my chances, no more third date," he added as he turned to you with a small pout.

"I couldn't help laughing because it was the most adorable thing how you went from being all confident and cocksure on doing a flip to this shy boy who refused to look me in the eyes without turning even redder," you said, pure amusement laced in your tone. "But no, that incident made me like you more, it was just too endearing. Third date never left the table after that," you concluded with a sweet smile which only made Tom's grin grow wider.

"Even though she laughed, she was so sweet and kind about it. We had to cut our date shor—actually no, we didn't. We went back to your place and decided to do a movie marathon instead," Tom said fondly, face glowing with joy as the memory brought nothing but warmth across his chest.

"Yeah, with you wearing a pair of my sweatpants," you giggled, mirroring his expression as your mind recalled the sweet moment of you and him, simply cuddled up on the couch.

"And that's on getting the girl by splitting your trousers open," Tom said with a smug smile, pointing at the camera as he shot it a knowing look with a wriggle of his brows.

"And getting the boy by falling off a bike," you added, doing exactly what he did as you turned to face the lens.

"Look at us," Tom gushed, looking back at you with a smile, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. "Hey, look at us."

"Look at us. Who would've thought?" you giggled, giving his hand a squeeze in return.

You were always quick to catch on what he was trying to do that Tom couldn't help but smile widely, heart melting ten times over at the thought of you knowing him so well. "Not me," Tom chuckled, letting go of your hand and holding up his palm for a high-five to which you gladly obliged with laughs of your own.

"You two are made for each other," Harry chuckled with a shake of his head, now just getting that you two were recreating the famous Paul Rudd meme.

"My turn right?" Tom asked. You nodded with a hum as you pushed the pile of cards towards him. He let out a loud scoff once he read the question, his reaction making you raise a brow in both curiosity and slight dread. "Be honest," he said as he looked up from the paper, gaze landing on you. "Who do you love more, me," he paused for dramatic effect, narrowing his eyes at you before continuing, "Or Tessa?"

You let out a small groan as you hang your head low, fingers tracing the side of your cold glass. You let out a sigh of defeat before you met Tom's expectant gaze. "I can't possibly answer that question," you grumbled, bringing the glass up to your lips as you took a swift drink before placing it back down.

"That was such a tiny sip," Harrison pointed out.

"Alright, alright, I guess we can tell who the bad influence here is," you said with a teasing roll of your eyes, but still took another drink anyway, taking in more of it this time around. You just want to play the game fair and square. "You actually made that really well. It's really good," you hummed at Tom as you placed your drink back down, the lad grinning widely in response.

"Why thank you, darling," Tom crooned, voice smooth with a pride-filled smile, pushing over the pile of cards back in the middle of the table to get you to ask the next question.

"Okay, who wrote this?" You turned to the boys behind the camera with a raise of your brow. "If the alcohol wasn't going to do it, then this will definitely get the video restricted, unless you're going to bleep some words out?" You turned to Harry.

"I've got that covered," Harry laughed.

Glancing back at the card you had on hand, you asked, "If our sex life was porn, what genre would it be?" You looked up at Tom to see him try his best to hold back a smirk.

"Nope, not answering that," he laughed with a shake of his head as he lifted his glass off the table. "Mainly because there are too many genres that it would fit for me to only pick one," Tom muttered softly against his drink as he looked at you through his lashes. His words were muffled but you still heard it, you were closer to him after all. You felt your cheeks heat up at that, even more so when your man shot you a teasing wink before downing the shot of gin not long after.

Tom set his glass down and reached over to take another card. "What does your family think of me?" he asked with a clear of his throat.

"Well..." You slowly dragged your drink closer to you, Tom's mouth falling agape that you couldn't help but burst into a hearty laugh. "I'm kidding! You already know how much they love you," you said. "I mean, my parents call him 'son' so." You shrugged as you turned to the camera. Tom puffed out his chest all proud with a very smug smile on his lips. You rolled your eyes, sighing as you added, "They probably even love you more than they love me."

Tom chuckled, "My family loves you more than they love me, too—"

"I can vouch for that," Harry intervened.

"Thanks, Harry," Tom said sarcastically, flashing his brother a forced smile. Turning back to you, he finished, "So, I guess we're even."

You could only nod with a soft giggle, reaching over to the stack of cards to keep the pace going. "Lads! What's with these kinds of questio—you know what, I don't even expect any less from you guys," you sighed, pursing your lips as you re-read the question again before sitting straight up and looked into Tom's eyes. "What would you do if you caught me watching porn?" you asked.

"Watch it with you and help get it done, duh?" he answered without hesitation, leaning back on his chair as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Have done a couple times actually," Tom murmured, somewhat to himself, though not really since everyone in the room—and pretty sure the camera—heard it.

"Tom!" you hissed.

You felt your body tingle, legs instinctively closing together as the countless moments it happened replayed itself inside your brain. Although what he said wasn't false, it wasn't the full truth either. He didn't exactly catch you red handed, never did since you don't watch porn often.

All you did was asked him—merely out of curiosity—what type he mostly watches. Your question sparked an idea in his head which led to you sitting in between his legs, bare back against his naked chest as the laptop sat right in front of you both with the video of his choice.

Tom then made his way with you while you watched, making sure you never take your eyes off the couple on screen or else. He was always fully in control over you every time you do it, his fingers sometimes delicate, mostly rough, touch hot and heavy all over your skin, lips warm on your neck, teeth sharp against your bare shoulder as he brings you to the edge over and over and over with nothing but his hands. And once the video ends, Tom will take it upon himself to re-enact the whole of it with you—if you could still take it of course—bringing what was on screen to real life, full recreation from start to finish.

Best believed you're properly blissed out at the stop of every play.

Your boyfriend's eyes widened once he realized the actual volume of his voice, face turning a deep shade of red, sitting straight abruptly as he rushed, "No! Wait—dammit." Tom casted his eyes down shyly when the boys let out exaggerated gasps and sounds of disapproval, a telltale sign that they already heard it. "I'm sorry, darling." He met your gaze again as he shot you a sheepish smile, his head tilted to the side guiltily to which you only responded with a shake of your head.

Typical Thomas.

"Bleurgh, too much info," Harrison gagged, the other boys following suit with their own sounds of repulsion.

"Oh fuck off you divs. You guys wrote the questions so obviously, you wanted to find out," Tom countered, shooting the lads a glare each.

"We didn't expect you to actually answer it!" Harry defended.

"We're cutting that whole part out, no way that's going up online," you grumbled, eyes staring at nothing but your drink as you tried to hide the obvious embarrassment that's coated your features.

Tom reached across the table to give your hand a squeeze, you meeting his gaze to see him mouth a gentle 'I'm sorry.' You flashed him a sweet smile, squeezing his hand in return to tell him that it was alright. It wasn't live so there wasn't any real harm done, aside from future jokes from the boys. That you can deal with than having that confidential information on the internet which will then follow you around for the rest of eternity.

Letting go of your hand, Tom sat straighter and turned to the camera. "If you guys are wondering why there's a jump cut and my face is suddenly so red, it's because I spilled something I shouldn't have that we had to cut it out. And no, it's something you'll never find out," he chuckled shyly, knowing that once the video goes out, fans are going to be so annoyed and will pester him—and everyone in the room—nonstop to try and find out what was cut.

Better that, than embarrassing you in front of millions though, so he'll deal with them no problem. Because as promised, if you weren't comfortable with it staying in the video, then it gets cut out, no questions asked. You and what you're comfortable with always come first in Tom's book.

"Yet again, thank God we didn't do this live," you muttered with a playful roll of your eyes.

Tom shot you one last apologetic smile before he cleared his throat, "Right, moving on." He shifted in his seat and took another card from the pile. "What's the one thing you'd change about me?" he asked.

"Your height," you answered without missing a beat. You chewed on your lip to suppress a grin but still failed miserably, especially when Tom looked at you with his jaw hanging and his eyes wide open.

A chorus of 'ooh's erupted from the boys which only prompted a laugh from you, the joyous sound growing louder when they started to rub it to Tom even more.

"Pfft, apply ice on the burnt area," Harry said as he blew out his cheeks.

"Mate, she's just bodied you with that," Tuwaine tutted at Tom, rising up from his seat soon after to offer you a high-five. You gladly obliged with a laugh, Tom gawking at you with utmost betrayal on his face.

"You're lucky you're very cute, especially when you laugh," Tom grumbled as he shot you a playful glare. The crinkles on the corner of your eyes deepened as you only smiled brightly at him with a tilt of your head, which honestly made you look even more endearing. He could never be mad at you, too whipped to hold a grudge no matter how much you tease him. And besides, that's all there is to it, nothing but teasing jokes and banter.

"If I were you, Tom, I'd start taking those growth pills before she starts to question why she's even with you," Harrison proposed jokingly which earned boisterous laughter from the rest of the gang.

"You lot are so fucking overdramatic. I'm not that short," Tom quipped with a roll of his eyes, gaze landing back on you with his famous pout now in play yet again. "And babe, it's a truth or drink video, not a roast me video," he stated, palms flat on cool marble as he looked at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm joking! I'm joking," you rushed with a giggle. "I wouldn't change a single thing. You know I love you, just the way you are," you sang the last line, though your voice held nothing but sincerity as you reached over to give his hand a loving squeeze. Tom nodded with a sigh, though never did he doubt your words, knowing it deep in his bones that physical traits would never outweigh how much you love him, no matter what.

"Right, let's keep this going," you said as you took another card. "Who is smarter, me or you?" you asked.

"Me," Tom said proudly.

"Well, that's a lie," you objected.

Tom couldn't help but laugh at that, nodding at you as he chuckled, "It's you, obviously. Have you seen the last video?"

"Hmm, I don't know, I think Tom's smarter. I mean, you decided to date him, Y/N, which isn't exactly the brightest decision," Harry inferred, earning a loud gasp from his older brother.

"Excellent point," you agreed, your boyfriend's head whipping towards your direction with nothing but absolute offense written on his face.

"Babe! You're supposed to be on my side!" Tom exclaimed. "Why are we roasting me all of a sudden?" he complained.

"You're just too fun to pick on," you laughed, Tom's bottom lip jutting out at your words. "Especially when you do that, too cute," you pointed out, the apples of Tom's cheek turning pink as a smile grew on his lips at the compliment. "But I am smarter," you concluded, shooting the camera a wink.

"Will not refute," Tom chuckled, keeping the flow of the game as he took another card. "If you weren't with me, who of my brothers would you consider dating?" he said, voice pitching higher at the last few words. A look of downright disgust covered Tom's face immediately as he looked at the boys behind the camera who were snickering like the mischievous little shits that they are. "You lot are grim."

You matched Tom's expression, scrunching your nose as you shook your head quickly. Having been with Tom long enough, you now see the three of the Holland boys as your own brothers, so the mere thought of dating any of them is just—

"I'm not even going to think about it," you grumbled as you took a sip of your cocktail and then picked a card right away. "Who's the celebrity who you were the most disappointed with when you met them?" you continued swiftly, a smile on your lips as you looked at Tom who let out a sigh.

"You know I can't answer that," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone, your smile growing wider as you picked up the bottle of gin and refilled his glass. "Thank you, darling," he chuckled with a shake of his head, taking a drink right after.

"Is there anyone in my friend group, famous or not, that you do not like?" Tom continued with a raise of his brow, gaze steady on you.

You emptied your glass—that was still half full—without a single word and placed it back down with a small burp. "Oh, excuse me," you cleared your throat with a laugh.

Tom's brows furrowed at you in mere curiosity, gesturing for your glass so he can remake you another drink. You slid it over to him with a soft 'thank you' and a sweet smile. He started opening up the bottle of juice though his eyes were still on you, narrowed in pure skepticism.

"Who?"

"Not part of the question, Tom," you said, flashing him an innocent smile

"I know who it is," Harry coughed fakely.

"Me too," Tuwaine added with a fake cough of his own.

"It's Harrison because he's trying to take you away from me," you commented, laughing at how the blonde lad gasped in utter protest.

"That's a lie because I know who it is too," Harrison defended.

"So, everyone knows except me?" Tom mused, rolling his eyes in the process.

"What else is new?" you giggled with a shrugged, Tom only sighing as he shot you yet another pout. This boy never ceases to use it since he knows you always swoon whenever he does. 'I'll tell you later,' you mouthed, making him nod with a proud smile.

You gently leaned back on your seat, closing your eyes when you felt a little woozy. You took in slow, deep breaths, the marble cold against your palms as your body started to grow warmer from head to toe.

Maybe downing that drink wasn't the best idea.

"You okay, darling?" Tom asked sweetly, tilting his head at you in worry as he went to take your hand in his. His brows knitted together when your skin felt unusually warm in his palms.

"Yeah," you giggled, opening your eyes to meet his concern-filled brown ones, flashing him a reassuring smile and a nod to match as you gave his hand a squeeze. "Just the alcohol slowly kicking in."

"Want to take a minute, sweetheart?"

"No, I'm good. Go on and ask the question bubba," you prompted as you beamed at him, Tom's heart melting at the beautiful curve on your features and more by the sound of that sweet nickname. Although, he knew that you'd reached your calm before the storm.

You're always smiley and extra sweet when you start to get a little tipsy. But from here on out, especially if you decide to take even more alcohol, you start switching from calm to giddily energetic. That's when the words would start flowing out your lips before your brain could even register what you've just said.

Tom replaced your hand with a white card once he was sure you were fine. A cheeky grin erupted on his face as he asked, "What's your favourite sex position?"

You pursed your lips, eyes landing on the ceiling, fingers drumming on the marble surface of the table as you pondered on it for a second. Tom watched you intently, a soft chuckle escaping him when you met his gaze again with a sweet yet shy smile.

"I've got three though," you said, mostly to him but in a not-so-hush tone. Your mind and your mouth don't cooperate sometimes when there's alcohol in the mix.

"Different one for a different mood," Tom hummed with a smirk, finishing up your drink with a squeeze of lime, mixing it up before sliding it back towards you. "Just say one or take a drink, darling."

"I need to slow down with drinking or else I'll be saying much worse things. I can already feel my filter shutting down," you breathed out, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at Tom for a bit of help. "But do I really want this out in the world?"

"Oh, go on Y/N, live a little," Harrison prodded with nothing but utter mischief in his eyes.

You don't know why but somehow, Harrison words were the last straw for that burst of confidence to suddenly overflow. Boldness coated your every nerve as you squeezed your eyes shut and straight up blurted,

"Doggy."

Tom's eyes grew wide, both of his brows rising as he looked at you surprised. Yes, doggy was one of your—and his—favourites, he already knew that, what surprised him was you actually saying it out loud. Although he was swift to turn cocky as he leaned back on his seat, arms crossed over his chest while he kept his gaze steady on you.

As you peaked one eye, you saw that certain smirk of his now playing on his pink lips, one you only ever see privately. You felt your face heat up at that, added from the alcohol and embarrassment. The warmth was quick to spread to the rest of your body though, with the way he was looking at you, it was so hard for it not too. And as your eyes fully soaked him in, gaze traveling from his handsome face sporting that teasing smirk to his bulging biceps, the temperature could only rise. Your senses was now somewhat heightened that you were able to notice every single thing that made your man so fucking attractive and downright hot.

Since when did his hoodie grow even tighter? And damn, why is it so hot all of a sudden? It's probably the alcohol, or mainly just Tom, or simply both.

"Favourite type of porn!" you hear someone from the gang call out—probably Harrison since he's been causing trouble from the very start—interrupting your thoughts. With the alcohol in your system, just as expected, your brain genuinely forgot to take control of your tongue before you could even tell yourself: 'don't!'

"Sometimes hardcore," you let out, slapping your hand over your mouth immediately as your eyes grew wide. You quickly met Tom's eyes, his brown orbs glowing with shock, amusement and a sprinkle of lust. He gave you a soft nod with a soft smile in response, confirming that yes, you said it out loud, and yes it was already too late. "Oh no, this was what I meant when I needed to slow down on alcohol," you groaned, rubbing your hand over your warm face before looking back across your man with a pout.

"Aye! Hardcore doggy yeah?" Harrison cheered teasingly, moving towards Tom and giving his best friend a pat on the shoulder. Tom threw his head back with a laugh, face red but the look of utmost pride was also there. Harrison swiftly offered his fist to Tom, to which the brunette gladly indulged, their knuckles colliding as chuckles escaped the two mates.

You let out a choked laugh as your eyes widened in surprise, jaw going slack with your face heating up even more. "Did you guys just fist bump to that?"

"I mean." Tom shrugged, throwing his hands up with the smuggest grin, causing you to shake your head dejectedly with a groan. You shot Harrison a pointed glare when he went back to his seat, still snickering to his heart's content as if his master plan was in the works.

What a little shit.

"I'm definitely not going to let my parents watch this video," you mumbled with a roll of your eyes.

"I've got a question for Tom though," Tuwaine started, though the glimmer in his eyes told you it wasn't a clean one. "Do you grab it or do you smack it?"

Tom wheezed before erupting into a very rowdy laugh, hands slapping on his thigh as his body shook in nothing but pure enjoyment, his face red from a mixture of embarrassment, glee and the alcohol.

"Oh my—right! Next question!" you squeaked, not giving your boyfriend any time to answer as you attempted to swiftly move on.

"Wait, wait," Tom breathed out as he slowly calmed down, getting up from his seat as he went over to your side. "Harry stop recording for a sec," he called out to his younger brother before he gestured for you to turn until your back was facing the camera.

Tom crouched down in front of you, hands on your knees with a sweet, reassuring smile on his lips. "We'll edit out the parts you're not comfortable with to stay in the vid, alright?" he stated softly.

You nodded with a smile of your own, taking his hand in yours as you played with his fingers. "I'm not opposed to keeping the last two questions since everyone has their favourite position and type of porn. It's normal," you hummed, tilting your head at him as you added, "You saying you've helped me with, you know, that was much more private though, 'cause it's our thing."

"I know, I'm sorry, love," Tom apologized, voice soft but coated with sincerity as his hand went up to cup your face lovingly, brown eyes gazing up into yours with just the same emotions. "We're cutting that part out, I promise."

"But you think your fans would take these questions well?" you queried, leaning into his touch in a way that made Tom's heart do flips inside his chest.

He nodded. "Yeah, I think it's fine. The video is going to be age restricted anyway. And besides, we're both adults, so there's nothing wrong with it," he explained. You hummed in agreement, leaning your head on his hand as you closed your eyes with a soft sigh, your skin very warm against his palm. Tom moved closer to give your lips a sweet peck. "Want some water angel?"

"No, I'm good." You smiled, Tom nodding as he mirrored your grin, giving your lips another kiss before he stood back to his full height and then sat back on his seat.

Shooting Harry the go signal to start recording again, Tom chuckled, "Sorry, needed to cool down for a sec after that." He turned towards the camera, tugging at the collar of his hoodie as he blew out his cheeks to get a point across.

You could only roll your eyes at your man, his laugh growing louder at your reaction. Swiftly taking a card from the pile, you continued with the game. "Is this going to be the theme from here on out, lads?" you asked, eyeing the boys behind the camera suspiciously before you turned back to Tom. "Is there something in the bedroom you'd like to try that you haven't told me?"

Tom's cheeks turned even redder at the question, completely shying away now as his hand went to rub at his shoulder. "I can't think of one right now," he muttered as he looked at you sheepishly. "But no, I'm not answering that since we talk about that off camera anyway," Tom settled with a timid chuckle, refilling his glass and taking a drink of the gin soon after.

"Your turn," you giggled, pushing the pile towards him.

"Oh, okay. What a way to shift the topic," Tom breathed out, scanning the card one more time as he sat up straighter. "If I was in a coma how long would you wait for me?" he asked, meeting your gaze with a tender smile.

"I'll keep waiting for you until you wake up, no matter how long," you answered, without even a single inch of doubt, despite the slight shake in your voice as your eyes started to well up. "Never giving up on you."

"Darling," Tom cooed softly with a pout, the screeching sound of his chair echoing around the space as he pushed his seat back. He went back over to your side quickly, remaining on his feet as he leaned down to engulf you in a tight and warm embrace, swaying you side to side in the most comforting way as he whispered sweet nothings against your hair.

You buried your face in his chest with a shaky breath, the material of his hoodie soft against your cheek. You willed your brain not to think much of it, to not dwell on that thought and focus more on the Tom's warmth that's coated you right now. Or else you'll end up a bawling mess, and with the alcohol in your system, it's not a good idea to start crying now.

Your man pulled away gently with a charming smile, cupping your face with both hands as he towered over your seated form. "I'd do the exact same, just so you know," he hummed, brown eyes locked with yours, his thumbs caressing your cheeks fondly before he dipped his head to capture your lips in a loving kiss. You let out a sweet sigh as you melt at the feeling of his soft lips on yours, mind and heart at ease at familiar warmth. The gesture wasn't fully caught on camera though given that you were turned at the opposite direction.

"I love you," you hummed against his lips.

Tom chuckled sweetly, giving you a few more pecks on the lips before pulling away completely, staring right into your eyes as he whispered, "And I love you."

With that he went back to his seat again, flashing you one of his many charming grins before he turned to the group behind the camera.

"You lot are onto something I can tell," Tom said as he raised a brow at the lads who suspiciously grew quiet, looking everywhere in the room but at you two.

Not thinking much of it, you swiftly took another card and read the question. "What would you do if you suddenly get a call that I was gone?" you trailed off at the end of your sentence, brows knitting together as you turned to the group behind the camera. "Guys, this is a cruel question."

"Oh," Tom faltered, smile slowly slipping away from his face as he casted his eyes at his drink.

"Tom, you don't have to answer it," you called out softly, frown deep on your lips as you reached over to take both his hands in yours. But it was already too late when he squeezed your hand tightly, lifting his head back up to meet your gaze and you felt your heart ache. That's when you saw that his mind was already there, brown orbs glossed up as he let out a shaky breath.

"I'd literally shut down," he croaked. "I-I don't know what'd I do if that happens. I just can't imagine my life without you. I—" he stopped, head dropping as his voice broke.

"Oh Tom, come here," you cooed as you immediately got out of your seat and rounded the table, turning him around and away from shot for a bit of privacy. You squatted in between his legs that were spread apart to be much closer to him, gently cupping his face with both your hands so that you were now within eye level. "Hey, look at me," you whispered when you were met by eyes that were screwed shut.

With a deep intake of breath, Tom willed his eyes to open. He looked at you with a small smile playing on his lips, heart steadying at the sight of your beautiful orbs boring into his own. He leaned forward to close the distance between you two, just so he could feel your lips on his. Tom badly needed to. A soft satisfied sigh erupted out your chest as your hand took home on his warm cheek.

"I'm still here bubba. I'm not going anywhere," you hummed against his lips before giving him warm kisses all over his face that made him stifle out a small laugh. You pulled away a little with a loving smile, wiping away the few tears that sat on his skin with your thumb, your touch gentle and warm.

"I love you so much, you know that?" Tom whispered as he looked at you fondly, nudging the tip of his nose with yours in a wholesome manner.

"I love you too, you sweet, soft boy," you giggled, placing a sweet peck on his lips before pulling him in for a hug. You lifted your head up to shoot each of the boys a sharp glare, the three cowering away in their seats as they each said their soft apologies.

Pulling away with a smile, you cupped Tom's face with a hum, "Better?"

"Loads," Tom sighed with a sweet smile, leaning in for one last peck before he lets you go back to your seat. "You purposely put that in there to make me cry didn't you?" Tom spoke, narrowing his eyes at boys who only shrugged in feign innocence. "You lot are evil I tell you."

"Now let's get back on a lighter note!" you exclaimed, pushing the cards towards Tom since it was his turn to ask.

Tom pursed his lips as his brows furrowed at the question. "If you could sleep with any person in the world, who would it be?" he wondered, eyes locking with yours in warning. "Now, careful with your answer, love," he hummed.

"Is that a threat Holland?" you challenged with a raise of your brow.

"I'm just saying, I may already know or will meet this person in the futur—"

"Chris Hemsworth," you blurted, Tom's mouth falling open as he gawked at you in shock. "I'm kidding," you rushed with a hearty laugh.

"Are you though?" Tom doubted, squinting at you suspiciously.

You bit your bottom lip as you held his gaze, Tom letting out a loud gasp when you suddenly took a drink all while maintaining eye contact with him.

"I'm going to have a word with you later missy," he grumbled, voice suddenly an octave deeper, somewhat a soft growl, one that you felt down to your core.

You shifted in your seat with a clear of your throat, shooting him an innocent smile as you said, "To be fair, you did say—publicly may I add—that you'd sleep with Hemsworth too when you did fuck, marry and kill with the three Chrises so, roll the clip!"

Tom shook his head at you with a playful roll of his eyes. "Touché," he sighed, brows furrowed in confusion when you suddenly covered your mouth.

"Oops, I just realized I said the F-word, sorry Harry," you said meekly, a certain smile on your lips which guaranteed that you were now dancing onto drunken territory. Tom knows you like the back of his hand, if the way you were smiling wasn't enough then, the simple look in your eyes would let him know that the alcohol has fully hit you this time.

"It's alright. One bleep word is nothing compared to last week's video. And it's not like this video has been clean anyway," the young twin chuckled.

"So, Fuck Hemsworth, who are you marrying and who are you killing?" Tuwaine asked.

"Marry Evans, Kill Pratt," you answered promptly.

Tom leaned back on his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest, running his tongue over his teeth slowly all while staring you down. "That's a quick answer Y/N," he hummed, shooting you a teasing glare.

"Oh please, yours was quick too, Thomas," you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest as you mirrored him, never backing down from his stare even though it was making you feel certain things.

"Wait, if you're marrying Evans and killing Pratt, and I'm marrying Pratt and killing Evans, does that mean we're set out to kill each other's husband?" Tom started as he leaned forward and towards the table.

"So, if you were successful in killing Evans, and I was successful in killing Pratt, that means we're both widowed," you continued, laying your hands now flat on the marble surface.

"Meaning there's still a chance that we will still end up together. Meant to be if you ask me," Tom concluded, lifting up a hand.

You moved forward to give him a high-five, missing his hand by a lot which made you let out a loud, hearty laugh, Tom following suit with laughs of his own.

"What are you two on?" Harrison said with a crinkle of his nose.

"Alcohol," you and Tom answered at the same time. Both of your mouths turned into the shape of O's as you looked at each other properly delighted.

"Jinx!" both of you exclaimed in unison. "Jinx again!"

"Our mental synchronization; can have but one explanation," you and Tom sang in harmony, never breaking your gaze as you both smiled proudly.

"You—"

"And I—"

"Were—"

"Just—"

"Meant to be!" You two ended with fits of laughter, raising your hands to go for another high five. You missed Tom's hand again which only made you wheeze, tears of joy brimming in yours and his eyes as you tried for the second time, both of you cheering loudly when it finally landed.

"Cringe, really made for each other," Harry gagged teasingly with a grimace to match.

And then Harrison intervened. "How about fuck, marry, kill, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Felton and," he paused, grin turning wider like a Cheshire cat as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. "Tom Holland?"

"That's not part of the game," you protested with a pout.

"Answer the question, darling," Tom encouraged, looking at you expectantly.

"I'm taking a shot," you muttered, going for your drink but before you could even do so, Tom had already taken it far away from your reach. "Hey!" you whined.

Tom chuckled softly as he shook his head no. "You said it's not part of the game so no, you have to answer," he said. "And that's enough alcohol for you, my love," he cooed, tilting his head at you knowingly with a sweet smile. If Tom will let you continue with the drinking then you'll surely be complaining nonstop about the throbbing headache you'll get and the constant nausea after all this.

You sat back on your chair with your bottom lip jutted out, arms crossed over your chest to match, much like a child as you started to think about your answer. Although the process took way longer than you'd expect it to be and the boys were quick to notice.

"Uh oh, she's having a hard time," Harry teased when a few long seconds has gone by and you still haven't given an answer.

"I don't know how I feel about the hesitation here," Tom admitted as he looked at you curiously, brows furrowing with a chuckle when you were still deep in thought after a few seconds more.

"She genuinely is having a hard time," Tuwaine laughed.

"This is so unfair," you grumbled dejectedly as you looked at your man with a sweet, adorable pout, silently asking for help.

"What'd you do with me first to make things easier," Tom offered with a chuckle.

As if there was a hidden message to his words—there wasn't—your face suddenly lit up, slapping your palms on the table excitedly as you sat straighter. "You know what, kill the other two and I'll fuck and marry you," you declared heartily, eyes locked securely with Tom's with the proudest grin playing on your lips.

Tom's heart did somersaults at the mere fact of you wanting to marry him, grin wide and bright as he stared into your orbs, utmost love glowing in yours that was wholesomely mirrored by his brown ones.

It wasn't long until Tom felt his blood rush down though, heat dancing on his skin as his brain got occupied with the thought of you fucking him too. Certain memories flooded his mind, one after the other that it was getting harder for him to stay calm in his seat.

You are honestly giving him a whiplash with how you make him feel one emotion to another in a span of seconds, though Tom wasn't at all complaining.

"That's not how the game works!" Harrison exclaimed.

"I'm pretty happy with that answer," Tom shrugged with a wide, cocky grin, eyes never leaving yours as he raised a brow at you suggestively. You held his gaze with a tilt of your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth to try and stop your smile from growing.

The interaction didn't go unnoticed by Harry though. "Okay, stop eye-fucking each other you horny teenagers," the younger brother complained.

Tom laughed at that, shifting in his seat as he turned towards the camera. "On that note, we're ending the video there. This has been Tom Holland," he paused, giving you a nod as a cue.

"And Mrs. Holland," you blurted at the camera with a smile, eyes widening once you realised the choice of words you've just used. "Oh wait! No! Fuc—I don't mean no as in 'no,' I meant not yet," you fumbled. "We're not even engaged yet! Don't start with the headlines you." You pointed at the camera in warning.

He shook his head with a chuckle, red tinting his cheeks but pure admiration glowed in his eyes. "You own my fucking heart, you know that? You make me melt all the damn time," Tom gushed through gritted teeth, and it was taking a whole lot of his self-control to not jump over the table and just kiss you senseless. You felt your heart grow at his words but you could only bury your face in your hands with a groan of pure embarrassment. "She's drunk, my apologies," Tom added with a laugh as he turned towards the camera.

"Tipsy, there's a difference," you corrected as you shot him a glare.

Tom chuckled, smiling at you widely before turning back to the lens. "Anyway, see you on the next one and peace!" he finished with the sign and then a salute, Harry throwing out an upturned thumb to signal cut.

Once he saw that the camera was off, Tom was out of his seat in record speed, moving over to your now standing form as he swiftly wrapped both his arms around your waist and crashed his lips onto yours with a low groan. His arms tightened around you as he relished the feeling of finally having you so close.

You giggled against the kiss, resting your arms over his shoulders as you leaned back on the table to keep your balance, your bum half-rested on the marble while your foot stayed steady on the floor, legs apart so that Tom can situate himself between them easily.

"So, fuck and marry me huh?" Tom hummed deeply against your mouth, playfully nibbling at your bottom lip before pulling away so he can see your gorgeous face fully.

"Out of all the things I've said, that's what stuck with you?" you giggled with a shake of your head.

"I mean, you fucking me will never fail to sound very hot, reminds me of the few times you did." Tom wriggled his brows at you suggestively, hands giving your waist as teasing squeeze. "Though I don't know which one's hotter, that or you marrying me," he said with the proudest smirk.

"Will you two take this somewhere else?" Harry complained, always the last one to be left in the room given that he's mostly in-charge with taking care of the camera. Harrison and Tuwaine were already gone, continuing whatever they had to do that day.

"Don't think that would make a difference though," Tom chuckled smugly, looking back at you with a knowing grin.

"Which reminds me how we need to sound proof the fucking walls you nasty rabbits."

"I was kidding. We're not that loud fuck off," Tom remarked, rolling his eyes at his brother.

And to prove how wrong Tom's point was, Harrison suddenly started moaning so piercingly right in the next room, his voice a bit muffled but you can still hear him, loud and obnoxious.

"Fuck! Love! Fuck yes! Just like that, darling! Shit baby I'm gonna—"

"Fuck off Harrison you fucking twat!" Tom yelled at the top of his lungs, the blonde lad's boisterous and annoying laugh echoing soon after.

Tom turned crimson red as the embarrassment coated him from head to toe, head dropping for him to hide his face on the crook of your neck with a groan. You let out a soft giggle, hand landing on the back of his head as you ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly. Your face was warm as you were embarrassed just the same, although there was more of a sense of pride on your behalf because yes, Tom does get a bit loud sometimes, all courtesy to you.

It wasn't always of course, both of you aren't evil enough to torture the lads that much. Aside from the fact that Tom is rarely even home—meaning you don't do the deed that much in this house—the two of you had made a pact to make sure that you're completely alone before properly going at it. Admittedly, it does get a bit hard to keep the noise down sometimes, so the boys have to endure it every now and then. They do get back at you guys soon after as they are quick to be little shits with the teasing and dirty jokes, much like now.

"Maybe we do need to soundproof our walls," you teased once your man pulled away to look at you with a soft sigh, hands running up and down your waist sweetly.

"Or we could finally look for our own place to move in?" Tom proposed with a charming smile, your heart melting at the sight and skipping a beat at his words.

Granted, you've been with Tom for a fair three and a half years already, but neither of you had gone to take that step of actually living fully on your own where it's just no one but him and you in your own home. You've been living in this house for roughly the same time—maybe a year or two less—and you've got no problem living with the lads, you consider them as your brothers now. But you won't deny that having a place exclusively for you and Tom only would be pure bliss.

Of course you've talked about getting your own place and neither of you were opposed to it. It all just came down to Tom being constantly busy and barely even home. You'd rather live with the boys for the mean time than sulk all alone in a house while slowly being buried in the emotions of missing your boyfriend.

Tom also wanted to be there for the most of it—choosing and buying furniture, decorating a thing or two, moving, the likes—but with his schedule, it was hard to find the perfect time.

But now he's promised you that he'd slow down for a bit.

He genuinely hasn't done anything but work nonstop. It was just projects upon projects with only so little breaks in between, a month if he's lucky. Tom is one hardworking man, that's one of the many things you love about him, but he sometimes doesn't realize when he's pushing himself too far.

That's when you step in.

You'd encouraged him to take a breather, even if it's just for half a year or so but you never did pester him about it constantly as you weren't one to take him away from doing what he loves. Unless it gets way out of hand, then that's when you'll be putting your foot down. You know he'll do it whenever he's ready to slow down and now with most of his projects wrapped, he's finally decided that it was the right time to take that much needed break.

"I love the sound of that," you giggled, treading your fingers through his hair before tracing it down his chiseled jaw. "Not as much as I love the sound of you moaning though," you hummed teasingly.

"Well then, let's find our own place so you can hear me moan all for you and as loud as you want, darling," Tom purred lowly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his darkened orbs bored into yours, his hands sliding down to rest on the swell of your bum. He fondled the flesh hotly as he started to lean closer to capture your lips. But before Tom could even do so a loud voice made you both jump away from each other.

"For fuck's sake guys! I'm still fucking here!" Harry yelled, throwing both his hands in the air in downright annoyance and disgust as he screwed his eyes shut. "Go to your fucking room for the love of my sanity!"

You didn't even get a chance to apologise to the young lad as Tom swiftly grabbed your hand and rushed to your shared bedroom.

Nothing happened though apart from a couple minutes of making out, Tom deciding not to take it further given that you were all tipsy and intoxicated. Him deciding since you were persistent on saying you were fine even though you were giggling nonstop, easily tickled no matter how feather-like his kisses were. Not to mention how you could barely even keep your eyes open. So, both of you ended up taking a warm bath and then a nap right after that, instead.

Although the minute you sobered up, Tom made sure you weren't at all quiet this time around. It was due to the pent up tension that's been building since that somewhat steamy Q&A. And maybe, just maybe to get back at the boys a teeny bit for being little shits with both the teasing jokes and the dirty questions.

The two of you went out of your bedroom only at dinner time, stepping foot in the dining area where Harry, Tuwaine and Harrison were all situated. You felt the embarrassment coat every inch of your body when you took sight of the boys, more specifically, their expressions. Tom, on the other hand, had the cockiest smirk playing on his lips as he held his head high, tauntingly chuckling at his mates.

The three lads were sitting around the table with nothing but grimaces and downright disgust on their faces as they all grumbled in unison,

"Rabbits."

-:-:-:-:-

like, reblog & leave a comment if you enjoyed! tell me your thoughts! <3

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#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland reader insert #tom holland one shot #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x youtube #tom holland stories #tom holland oneshot #tom holland one shots #tom holland oneshots #tom holland imagines #my writing

[sketching-shark]

I think we should start a protection squad (although they don’t need it because they can protect themselves) for Sun Wukong and Guanyin

“Begone monkie kid fandom trying to down grade these really interesting characters with interesting personality’s and backstory ( the both of them like seriously Guanyin backstory is so cool) to a villain wile trying to justify your angsty backstory (that are no where near as cool as monkey who fights gods and Person who has 1000 arms and heads to help people in need) for the actual villain”

So who wants to join

Me:*raises my hand*

Ps: sorry if I got Guanyin backstory wrong am not an expert on it.

Haha okay so some critiques on the jttw & associated media western fandom & fandom in general coming up, so please skip this upcoming text wall if you don't want to encounter my undoubtedly ~devastating~ words (i.e. don't like don't read as people love to say, & if I have to be inundated with images of my notp every time I go into the sun wukong tag then I imagine people can be chill with me expressing my opinions & giving people fair warning that I WILL be critiquing common fandom trends, but no need for you to see that if you don’t want to. Cool? Cool.)

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PFFFFFTTT oh man there are many times when I feel like signing up for such a protection squad...when it comes to the current western jttw & Sun Wukong fandom I do feel like I'm often swinging at a rapid pace between "well it's fandom & people are allowed to make the stories they want" & "I am once again begging my fellow monkie kid enthusiasts (& sometimes creators) to do more research into the og classic/show it more respect so you can avoid any potentially offensive/off-the-mark misunderstandings of the status & cultural context of the characters in their country of origin (I promise it's super interesting & I can provide you with links to free pdf copies of the entire Yu translation, i.e. the best one ever created, so feel free to ask!) & maybe also stop constantly stripping away all the nuance of Sun Wukong's character for the sake of either making him an entire asshole so your little meow meow can look completely innocent in comparison and/or making the monkey king's entire life & character revolve around said meow meow."

Like I get that fandom's supposed to be a kind of anything-goes environment, but one thing that honestly seems to be true of a lot of fandoms--and the western one for Sun Wukong & co. is certainly not immune from this--is that there often seems to be a kind of monoculturalization at work in what stories are created & what character interpretations are made popular. Across a multitude of fandoms, you frequently see basically nothing but the exact same tropes being made popular & even being insisted on for the canonical work (especially hasty redemption arcs & enemies to lovers these days), the exact same one-dimensional character types that characters from an original work keep getting shoved into, the exact same story beats, etc. And I get it to an extent, as fandom is generally a space where people just make art and fic for fun & without thinking too hard about it & without any pressure. 

This seems to, however, often unfortunately lead to the mentality that it’s your god-given right to do literally whatever you want with literally any cultural figure without even the slightest bit of thought put into their cultural, historical, and even religious context, even (and sometimes especially) when it comes to figures that are really important in a culture outside your own. For such figures--even if you first encounter them in a children’s cartoon--you should be a little more careful with what you do with them than you would with your usual Saturday morning line-up. It of course has to be acknowledged that there exists a whole pile of absolutely ridiculous & cursed pieces of media that are based on Journey to the West & that were produced in mainland China, but for your own education if nothing else I consider it good practice for those of us (myself certainly included) who aren’t part of the culture that produced JTTW to put more thought into how we might want to portray these characters so that at the very least (to pull some things I’ve seen from the jttw western fandom) we’re not turning a goddess of mercy into an evil figure for the sake of Angst(TM), or relegating other important literary figures into the positions of offensive stereotypes, or making broad claims about the source text & original characterizations of various figures that are blatantly untrue, or mocking heavenly deities because of what’s actually your misunderstanding of how immortality works according to Daoist beliefs. Yet while a lot of this is often due to people not even trying to understand the context these figures are coming from, I do want to acknowledge that the journey (lol reference) to understand even a fraction of the original cultural context can be a daunting one, especially since, as I’ve mentioned before, it can be really hard & even next to impossible to find good, accessible, & legitimate explanations in English of how, for example, the relationship between Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China & according to the Buddhist beliefs that define the original work. 

That is to say, I do think it’s an unfortunate, if unavoidable, part of any introduction of an original text into a culture foreign to its own for there to be sometimes a significant amount of misinterpretation, mistranslations, and false assumptions. There is, however, a big difference between learning from your honest mistakes, & doubling down on them while dismissing all criticism of your misinterpretation into that abstract category of “fandom drama.” The latter attitude is kind of shitty at best and horrifically entitled at worst. 

Plus, as I’ve discovered, there is a great deal of interest and joy to be drawn from keeping yourself open to learning aspects of these texts & figures that you weren’t aware of! I can say from my own experience that I’ve always really enjoyed & appreciated it when individuals on this site who come from a Chinese background--and who know much more about the cultural context of JTTW than me--have taken the time to explain its various aspects. It often leaves me feeling like woooooaaaahhhhhHHH!!!! as to how amazingly full of nuanced meaning JTTW is like dang no wonder it’s one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels. 

And I guess that right there is the heart of a lot of my own personal frustration and disappointment with the ways that fandoms often approach a literary work or other piece of media...like don’t get me wrong, a lot of the original works a fandom may grow around are just straight-up goofy & everyone’s aware of it & has fun with it, yet the trend of approaching what are often nuanced and multi-layered works in terms of how well they fit and/or can be shoved into pretty cliche ideas of Redemption Arc or Enemies to Lovers or Hero Actually Bad, Villain Actually Good etc...well, it just seems to cheapen and even erase even the possibility of understanding the wonderful complexity or even endearing simplicity that made these works so beloved in the first place. Again, I feel like I need to make it clear that I’m not saying fandom should be a space where people are constantly trying to one-up each other with their hot takes in literary analysis, but it would be nice and even beneficial to allow room for commentary that strives to approach these works in a multi-faceted way, analysis & interpretations that go against the popular fandom beliefs, & criticism of the work or even of fandom trends (yes it is in fact possible to legitimately love something but still be critical of its aspects) instead of immediately attacking people who try to engage in such as just being haters who don’t want anyone to have fun ever (X_X).   

----

Anyway, I know I didn’t cover even half of the stuff you brought up in the first place anon, but I don’t want any interested parties to this post to suffer too long through my text wall lol. I was asked to try my hand at illustrating Guanyin, but as with you I’m nowhere near as informed as I should be about her, so I want to do more research on her history and religious importance before I attempt a portrait. I’ll try my best, and do plan to pair that illustration with my own outsider’s attempt to summarize her character. From what little I do know I am in full agreement that her backstory is so incredibly amazing...just the fact that she literally eschewed the bliss of Nirvana to help all beings reach it, and even split herself into pieces in the attempt to do so (with Buddha granting her eleven heads and a thousand arms as a result)...man, I can see why she’s such a beloved & respected deity. 

----

 As for what western fandom commonly does with everyone’s favorite god-fighting primate...I can talk about this at length if there’s interest, but for this post I’ll just say that I guess one lesson from all of this is that for all the centuries that have passed since Journey to the West was first completed, literally no one drawing inspiration from the original tale in the west (lol) has come even slightly close to being able to equal or even capture half the extent of the nuance, complexity, religious, historical, and cultural aspects, and humor that define Wu Cheng'en's story of an overpowered monkey who defied even Buddha.

So thank the heavens we'll always have the original.

#journey to the west #jttw #guanyin #sun wukong #monkey king #monkie kid #fandom #fandom critical

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Caryl canon--as if you lovelies actually asked, lol, go a little something like this.

We’re getting a spin-off.  

I know the antis and the haters are doing whatever is in their limited, petty ass power to sink said spin-off and who knows?  Maybe they will somehow succeed (highly doubtful).  But they can piss and moan about it all they want and they still will not be able to change the fact that a spin-off is and has been planned. 

To hear Kang and Norman and Melissa talk, it’s been in the planning stages for quite awhile.  

Coincidentally (I think not), Carol’s story (Daryl’s too but I’m going to focus more on Carol here) started to become a little more defined around the time that this spin-off idea was born.  It might not have been obvious at the time, maybe it still isn’t quite yet--we’ve been burned so much over the years--but Kang pumped the brakes and reversed course on a storyline that has seen Carol sentenced to continually rolling a stone up a steep hill for what has felt like all eternity.  She started dismantling the relationship between Carol and EZ really before it found its feet and not only that?  She cut the anchor of Henry from around Carol’s ankle.  

Now at first, the deconstruction of the Kingdom family unit seemed like more of the same, essentially another misery arc for Carol, and to a certain extent it was.  But the thing is?  

Kang might have shoved Carol harshly to the ground and given her a kick for good measure, several in fact, but something that might be lost a bit in the shuffle of everybody crying this is nothing but rinse and repeat of the same old, same old, is the fact that Carol has clawed her way out of yet another abyss and whether she’s wanted to or not, she’s starting to feel it.  All the losses she’s endured along the way, and she’s learning how to stand on her feet and rise in spite of them.  

All those little boxes she’s shoved her past traumas into are popping open one by one and the ghosts are spilling out and she’s having to face them head on and that’s just as much thanks to Daryl as anything else because he’s been right there with her.  

Daryl, who she sees. Daryl, who she can’t lose.  

The above statements have always been true, but Kang’s added another little wrinkle to this relationship.  

Daryl, who Carol dreams about a life of domestic peace with.  

It’s a shift in Carol’s perception of Daryl’s role/potential role in her life that’s perhaps too subtle for some.  Or maybe, just maybe, it was the first warning shot to them.  The one that made them sit up and take notice.  

I know which one I think it was.  Do you?  

Remember.  The spin-off had already been conceived at this point.  The groundwork to lead these two out of their status quo had already been started.  That’s important.  That nugget informs everything that’s unfolded onscreen since.  

Leadership was thrust upon Daryl in the latter part of Season 9 and the whole of Season 10 and he rose to meet that mantle, but through all of that?  Carol and her mental, emotional, and physical well-being remained a priority to him.  

What’s more, Daryl Dixon ‘manned up’ and stepped outside of his comfort zone.  He found his words and used them to tell Carol all the different ways that he could without shoving them both off of a precipice they weren’t completely ready for how he felt.  

Seriously.  How much more explicit can you get than “we have a future?”  Than offering multiple times to run away together?  

Those weren’t just aimless shots in the dark, although many took them to be.  We all know who they are.  

Again, we’re getting a spin-off.  It’s in the planning stages at least.  Kang might not have all the pit stops mapped out but I do think she’s got a general destination in mind.  She’s just making a few stops to fuel up and get supplies first. 

Let me ask ya’ll something.  To any outsider, anybody that might live underneath a rock and might not have seen an actual episode of TWD, how do you think this plot might read to them?  Without any physical descriptors, without knowing these two characters’ history as longtime friends and even with knowing it, what do you think they might glean from the fact that Kang has chosen to lead them back to each other? That she has chosen to emphasize the strength of their bond before pushing at its limits until it is so strained it has no choice but to either break permanently or weave itself tighter together with a new type of thread?  

Once again, I am going to remind anybody reading this that there is a spin-off in the works.  A spin-off featuring Carol AND Daryl.  

Carol and Daryl’s relationship over the years and seasons has evolved from strangers to friends to best friends and now?  Now they seem to be standing at the edge of a cliff staring into the unknown because seemingly Kang has decided to deconstruct their relationship.  She’s in the process of breaking it down into its base parts right now and causing Carol in particular to really examine what it is that she wants.  

She’s already given us all, Carol included, hints along the way.  

She’s paralleled these two characters’ separate journeys to each others’ sides.  

We’re ten years in.  With a spin-off impending and a bit of a been there, done that aspect hovering over the whole Carol and Daryl friendship, does anybody other than the antis and haters really and truly believe that Kang is deconstructing Carol and Daryl’s relationship only to return it to its original state?  

Does anybody really believe that there aren’t various romantic tropes being employed here?  That this story is being framed in anything other than an unabashedly shippy way?  Seriously.  How many fucking times has the sheer LONGING between these two jumped literally out of the screen and attacked us with its intensity?  

Pining has taken on a whole new meaning and yet, there are so many still (willfully) blind.  

Or maybe they’re not as blind as they claim.  Maybe they see the writing on the wall that so many that have actually longed for Carol and Daryl to take this step are afraid to really hope for and that’s why they are big time mad and ramping up their efforts to delegitimize romantic Carol and Daryl before it can be an undeniable reality.  Maybe that’s why so many of them are having hissy tizzy fits over a spin-off that was born in spite of what they claim is their majority.  

My personal opinion is too many exposed nerves are being hit and hit rather forcefully with a narrative that is becoming more overtly romantic all the time.  

Kang is bright-lighting us all with Caryl canon and because of past events some of fandom is still too stunned to see it coming.  

The rest sees it but some of them are still in big time denial.  They think they can keep speeding ahead and force it to swerve completely off the road.  

I don’t know about ya’ll but I’m going to respectfully pull over to the side of the road, do a U-turn, and follow these two to New Mexico and beyond. 

#The Walking Dead #Caryl #Carol x Daryl #Carol Peletier #Daryl Dixon #Melissa McBride #Norman Reedus #gorgeous people #my precious babies in love #things that make me smile

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

#ive been writing this on and off since 830 am est SHEESH #dreamwastaken #dream critical #eh i think im relatively lenient of him here given my past posts ab him #but still just in case the blacklist tags for yalls convenience: #discourse #/neg #asks #long post #long posts #this a LONG one bois #morango

[masked-puppetmaster]

hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

#Long post #ask #anon #red #tommyinnit #c!tommy #technoblade #c!techno #c!technoblade #DSMP #dream smp #Tommy apologist #technoblade apologist #I’m so sorry I talked way more than I intended to whoops !!!! #That’s my two cents

[talpup]

First, I would just like to say that I recently found your fics due to the numerous mentions of them on @inorganicone2230 blog and she was not kidding, they are FANTASTIC!!! And I am super peeved at this person(s) who have hate spammed you enough to halt continuation of these wonderful MHA stories. Seriously, some people’s children need to have a ruler cracked over their ass and knuckles until they learn some common decency.

Anyway..... My overly violent tendencies aside, I did come here into your inbox with an idea in mind that I would like to plant inside your beautiful mind.

Now I obviously know that this is not canon for your Lost Song fic and I’m running on pure ‘what if?’ fumes here, but I was wondering what Kai’s reaction to Teris would be if she was actually just a plain old human? Ya know, provided she wasn’t immediately sent back to the human world with all her memories of Oblivi erased, or killed and/or eaten by another creature, AND if Kai would actually be interested in a dirty human. I hand this idea in my brain of Kai catching the scent of something wonderful while out on patrol or a walk or something and coming across a confused and very frightened Teris. Immediately being repulsed by her human-ness before realizing that the wonderful scent is coming from her, despite being a dirty little human rat 😂. I think she’d still be very prideful and try to act tough even in the face of someone so obviously NOT human and Kai finding it sweet and endearing that such a weak little thing would be trying to stand up to him and or intimidate him before whisking her off to keep her core himself. But what are your thoughts, and please, be as detailed and specific as you want to... My brain runs on yandere vibes and it’s in desperate need of fuel.

Have a wonderful day and happy writing! 💕

Thank you!!!  @inorganicone2230 is the best yandere!Kai writer I’ve read, and the best fellow writer friend I have.  They’re seriously the best, and I couldn’t be more grateful to know them.

Haters are the worst.  Have a useful critique?  I don’t mind you politely sharing your thoughts.  But hating just to hate…  I usually don’t let it get to me.  But I had a lot going on in my personal life at the time; and mixed with getting hate with every bnha fanfic update I did and no other response from readers really killed my will to share my bnha stuff.  That personal is starting to settle so hopefully I’ll be back to sharing more of my bnha stuff in a month or so.

My husband would argue cursed mind, and I’d tend to agree.  But I’ll gladly take ‘beautiful mind’.  lol  This took some thinking cause dragon!Kai’s first and main interest in Teris is the power he sensed in her that told of her being from an ancient species.  His character in Lost Song despises weak, filthy humans more than he does Hybrids; and if he ever came across a human while on patrol he’d likely kill the human on sight or leave them to be found and killed by another Fourth.

So to work around that I created a ‘what if’ for two original characters from one of the previous original fics I wrote for the world of Oblvi.  In that fic one of the main characters was a human man who fell in love and married a dragon woman.  The dragon woman (Marisol) ended up being disowned by her clan and dragon-kind for degrading the species by mating with a human.

Anyway, because of the way things went down in that fic, they ended up leaving Oblvi and moving to earth.  So if were running on pure what if, I could see dragon!Kai possibly not killing human Teris instantly because she’s Marisol and Roddric’s descendant.  And, like Kai did with griffon Teris, he smelled and sensed something about her. Only with human Teris, she's so far removed from her dragon ancestor that other than a sense and scent she carries, she's fully human. Maybe the family mostly forgot about their half dragon heritage as the centuries passed; but Teris heard the stories, and though she didn’t believe them, she listened and remembered them all.

So scared and freaked out as she is, she pieces together what Kai is.  I could see that further intriguing dragon!Kai to the point that he takes instead of leaves or kills her, and things progress and turn yandere from there.

I hope you don’t mind, but I brainstormed a bit with @inorganicone2230 inorganicone2230. This what if was a challenge (all be it a fun one) because my mind is so focused on the characters and behavior of dragon!Kai, sphinx!Shouta, and griffon Teris within the fic of Lost Song, and this ask is so divergent from the fic.  Anyway, here’s the idea the wonderful @inorganicone2230 came up with, to help me out with this ask:

“...maybe Kai is some unspecified breed of demon, very powerful, but also very antisocial and he guards his lands and territory ferociously. And one day when he’s out patrolling, maybe he discovers that something other than the usual wild animal or low level brainless demon has slipped through the markers he’s set up to warn other sentient creatures not to enter, only to find a completely harmless human Teris wondering around in confusion through the forest.”

 @inorganicone2230 idea is GREAT, just like all their ideas are.  I can imagine yandere demon!Kai stealing his little human away to protect them from the dangers of vile humans.  But he also has to keep his sweet little human locked away in hell cause he doesn't want them found and corrupted by other demons.

Thanks again!  Hope you have an awesome weekend!

#ls asks #kai chisaki #yandere kai

[wolfwhiteflowers]

10x16+, Connie, and NM thoughts

We got spoilers from DearTVshow about the finale...or ep 16.

So #TWDSpoilers ... about Caryl, *NM*, Connie, etc.!

*pro Caryl post.

ok yeah I have a lot more thoughts from the TWD news and spoilers. okaaay. 

So from DTV, the source said Connie is alive but only audience knows and it’s real quick.

--“I’m told that no one knows Connie is alive when the viewers first see her. Also, Carol & Daryl make up, with a hug, but no canon. And New Mexico is mentioned once again.”

--“Caryl has a big reunion hug on par with ‘No Sanctuary’. Daryl asks if her revenge is done. And she says "Well, I’ll never have what I want"

Daryl then says: "You have me...and New Mexico is out there still." And then Carol says “they have some things to do first”  

Ok my first thought is that I was surprised to learn Connie was alive and was thinking what are the writers are doing with the Connie/Magna cave plot and what will they do with Connie later on. Long ago, I made a post that I’m like in the middle of what I want with Connie. Still am, I guess, I hope writers write Connie like a Sasha than like a Beth. Sasha is more like a her own character and isn’t propping for a ship. Anyway I hope it means we get more sister bonding with Connie and Kelly. Idk what s11 will be like but just want smart and respectful writing. 

So, with that C/M cave plot, it then makes me worried about Magna and other fans are worried about Kelly (kill off sister pairing trope). But in the finale spoilers/pictures, it seems they’re also both safe too!   I think so...I think Magna is safe. There’s a promo pic of her after the horde moment. I think that instagram pic from GN of walkers eating a person is Beatrice(Oceanside lady). I think I saw someone pointed out she got the same bright blue shirt on. Anyway, yeah that crazy cave-plot is done with and is dumb. No one died from it..from TWD a horror show lol. It’s all really ends up being a plot to make Caryl/Carol angst, which the s10 is mostly about.

Like I thought, if Connie is alive it would be a short scene based on filming tracking. And therefore it’s a short scene for Connie reveal. I’m surprised only fans will learned about it. Maybe she's at Commonwealth idk and in 10C or s11 the comic plot of Michonne reuniting with her daughter will play out but with Connie and Kelly. I guess that’s what will happen but sigh ..it’s like down playing the comic version. Plus ..they kinda ruin the surprise too..? (Sorry.. it’s just comic Michonne’s story and that plot was everything. But I guess TV Michonne will do something like that too. Whatever.. from the comics it was so meaningful for comic-Michonne!) 

Anyway, the more I think about Connie’s alive reveal the more it’s like meh. It’s like writers just...still ..write her like a minor character. Idk if they could’ve done more or not but meh. She’s alive but no one knows...so ... no one cares? We get closures from characters, we get Caryl forgiving each other, but they don’t know about Connie. It’s like it doesn’t matter Connie lives or not, character’s stories are fine. I also think ..to think of s10B of Connie’s story, she doesn’t have that good ending in s10. It’s like half there and meh. Maybe other characters will mention Connie in ep 16, it would be a nice lil wrap up for Connie fans. I’m just saying it’s kinda crap writing for Connie fans. But whatever, she’s alive and there’s 10C. Eh. I hope the real reveal scene on the show will be better..like she’s at Commonwealth so then it’s like moving the plot forward. 

ETA. spoiler from instagram, Connie is revealed alive and wakes up and sees Virgil ..in time to save her I guess. That’s it...I guess. I’m glad there’s more to move the plot. But Idk where Virgil and Connie will go to..or when? Maybe they show up in ASZ later. Oh I guess we won’t get mentions of Michonne in ep 16. It would be later I guess when they’re in ASZ to talk about Michonne and the plan on finding Rick. eh wish it was on ep 16. So about Caryl. I'm so glad Caryl will talk it out and he mentions NM!  Even when they don't know about Connie being alive. It's a real forgiving scene between them. Someone said that he was mostly upset in 10b because of Carol’s actions and it’s proves..that it is what is about. Seriously s10 is so Caryl - season. Daryl is all about Carol this season. omg. shoo haters. (haters are weird..can they be real and if they don’t like how it’s going ..i mean if it’s me, I would’ve quit the show.) Anyway, I’m like LOL at the haters. I just omg like from the spoilers, Caryl forgave each other, made up, had a great hug, Daryl saying “you have me ..and let’s go to NM.”, all while they think Connie’s dead. sheesh. It really doesn’t look good for DCon shippers. whatever. 

I’m curious how the Caryl scene will go and all and how s11 will go. :3 So yeah they got stuff to do first = which makes me think of how s11 is the final season and writers got stuff to do. Wrap up character stories and stuff. Idk what they will do with them and Grimes kids and whatever the main story/Rick’s story will go. Also s11 is a long season and idk what they’ll do. Plus s10C lol. I can’t speculate.  

They mentioned NM again! My thoughts on “New Mexico”. Since we learned about the spoilers and the spin-off show, the moment is a clear foreshadowing moment. Like for real, they will run away together. It’s not some end of the series idea wishful hopeful moment. idk the word. Like they’re legit leaving ASZ. 

So the more I think about it and I’m just wondering why “New Mexico”? It just seems oddly already answered or so. Like ok here’s a plot and let’s go. I wish there’s some reason or build up to it why NM. Idk. Maybe Daryl will explain more why he wants to go there.  I also think, unpopular opinion?, maybe they won’t go to NM but it’s the idea~~ and that NM means they will travel away together. I’m speculating about the overall story of TWD/Rick movies ..., so maybe the writers want Caryl to travel and help out in some way for Rick/’s plan, in the spin-off show. Maybe part of CRM is in like Texas, so Caryl is like well ok we’ll do it, we’ve been wanting to travel so let’s go to Texas.   Or, it’s in s11 finale when Idk everyone kinda knows about Rick and CRM situation, maybe like Michonne will say (idk) we need someone to find supporters for Rick against CRM elsewhere-NM or Michonne will say Rick is out there in the west somewhere, we need someone to search for him in the west, Caryl is like let’s go to NM first.

I also wonder how spin-off is the Caryl spin-off show is. Will it only be Caryl-shippy? The Dixons-with Lydia and Dog? or Caryl and Grimes kids too? Caryl and others from s10-not so shippy/drag on slowburn? So far I’m leaning toward Caryl - shippy and (maybe Lydia, Grimes kids and Dog) will be there. I actually want Caryl with Grimes kids and Lydia and Dog. But idk. sigh TWD overall planning there... What about the kids?

Idk. It’s all whatever writers want to do with Rick’s story, s11 and the spinoff show. It’s all hard to predict and kinda hard to not get hopes up ahh.  I can kinda imagine Daryl giving Dog to Connie in s11 if Dog is not included in Caryl spin-off show. I think Grimes kids could stay with Maggie, Aaron, or others at Commonwealth or ASZ. Idk about Lydia, maybe she stays in ASZ or Hilltop. 

#caryl #twd spoilers #anti d0nnie #twd caryl #caryl and nm #c0nnie twd #*twd #twd speculations