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trillian-anders · 2 years

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there's no shame (in running) - 1/3

pairing: eddie munson x reader

warnings: descriptive violence, angst, fluff, eventual smut, slow burn

spoilers for season four, incl. vol 2. loosely follows canon.

word count: 6806

description: you'd missed him. eddie munson. best friend for one summer and one summer only. you were fairly certain you'd never talk to him again until he shows up at your place of work and tells you something truly strange.

note: wow an actual post after being absent for a year and a half, what can i say? i actually refuse to acknowledge what very well may be poor writing or set up for season 5. i'm grieving, so i had to write. missed you guys.

Summer, 1978

Hawkins, Indiana. There wasn’t much to it. Not from what you’d seen from the back of your parent’s Oldsmobile. From the beginning of town to your new home was only a few minutes. You’d passed one large building, City Hall. Local grocer, a hardware store, few schools.

“Boring.” You muttered. The window fogged with your breath as you leaned your head against the glass. The car rattled along with the hitched camper your parents stuffed to the gills with all of your belongings.

“You need to be a little more optimistic pumpkin.” Your Dad certainly was an optimist. Cheerful to a fault even. It was his new job that had brought you here in the first place. A promotion he said. Military man. Very serious to others, and in some ways you. The standard in which you were to keep your room. Your personal hygiene. All of it was very important. But he was a softie. Wrapped around your finger, your Mom would bemoan often. “You get to reinvent yourself here,” He took a small turn, “Make new friends, practice some new hobbies, maybe join a club.”

Yeah, maybe.

But you already missed your friends from New York. Allen and Grace. You had cried on your front lawn, in a group hug, promising to call. Promising to write.

Your Parents were “trying it out.” Being back together. A temporary separation from your Mother being aggravated with your Dad switching bases every few months. But now that he’s retired from the military, it’s different. He’s home more. They seem happy.

You hoped it would work this time.

The new house was a lot different than your apartment before. That caused a little excitement.

“Here we are.” Your Mom shifted in her seat, the drive was long, uncomfortable. Your Dad pushed,

“We’ve got to make good time.” But your Mom figured he had just wanted a few days of relaxing before he started work, so you didn’t really stop anywhere. Your legs were stiff. Not even sure if you could move them anymore.

The car rocked up beside the house and shuddered to a stop as the ignition was killed.

It was something called a rancher. Three bedrooms, enough space for you, your parents, and what your Dad was most excited about, a home office. The kitchen had ‘bar seating’ and had a formal dining room, something your Mother had been very adamant about. Not that you thought it mattered. Jogging around your Father opened your door and your Mother’s door at the same time.

“Alright ladies, go get settled,” A kiss to your forehead as you exited the car, “I’ll grab what’s in the trunk.”

Your Mom was a beautiful woman. You’d thought so anyway, even if she didn’t. You’d seen how she looked at herself in the mirror, tugging at the skin around her eyes, turning to the side and sucking in her stomach. She was not as optimistic as your Dad. She watched a lot of news. It seemed to always be on. Whether it was on the radio or on tv.

“No better than the tabloids,” Your Father would rant. The ‘turn that shit off’ was silent...sometimes.

She was worried. A lot. About the course of the country. About what was going on in the neighborhood. About her weight.

About yours.

The fridge was constantly full of whatever new diet food was out, and any fad diet she could get her hands on she would constantly try. A little jab here, a little nag there, “Honey I really don’t think you should have another snack today.”

“Sweetie, I really think you need to make a better choice.”

“Love, I really think you can wait until dinner.”

Always.

But Dad was sneaky. Before. When he would visit or have you for the week you’d get whatever you wanted. If you wanted to eat hot dogs in central park. He was on it. You wanted ice cream for breakfast. Anything you want. Whatever to make you happy.

“She’s a kid.” One of the big arguments, “It doesn’t matter.”

The shag carpet shifts under your feet as you enter your new home for the first time.

“A little musty,” Your Mother’s nose scrunches.

“Nothing we can’t fix with a little elbow grease.” A grin on your Dad’s face as he sets the first box down in the living room. Your Mom wasn’t impressed.

They’d put you in a free summer program.

“Something to keep you busy,” Your Mom said.

“So you can make new friends.” Your Dad said.

Both were kind of the truth.

It was like summer camp. But in the gymnasium of Hawkins Middle School. They had activities out in the yard as well as in the gym depending on what you felt like doing. Craft tables, card games, painting, or you could swing outside and play soccer, football, volleyball. Problem with those is you’d need to find friends to play with. Or you’d need to join an existing friend group to play. And that was way too much pressure.

So you were crafting.

A girl with braces and hair larger than you’d ever seen was teaching you how to weave on a plastic loom the first time you’d seen him.

He was shy. From what you could see. Buzz cut, big eyes. Too big for his face. A full mouth. He was painting something on the table. You couldn’t see what it was from your vantage point. But there was no one around him. You swallowed harshly, thinking about what your Dad had mentioned at dropoff.

“I know it’s difficult.” He’d knelt before you. Car idling beside you, “I don’t expect you to be a social butterfly and come home having made a gaggle of friends and being super popular.” His hands were a comfort, rubbing your shoulders, “But try this.” A little miniature from his pocket. Your favorite. A little goblin you’d hand painted with him. For his game.

Dungeons and Dragons.

That’s what he told you it was called. A game he and his friends played. It was a game, he said, “Where you go on a grand adventure, save the world, and defeat the forces of evil.” You’d helped him plenty of times. Creating stories.

“What if you had a monster with eight arms and one eye?” You’d offer. The grin he’d have, helping you sculpt it out of clay. He said it was good to bond over shared hobbies. Not just for parents and kids, but hobbies were how you made friends. “It’s always good to have something you like to do in common.”

“Try this,” The little goblin. Two oversized eyes, pot belly, and grin with yellowed teeth. “Keep Gargle in your pocket, and when you get nervous, hold it really tight and think of me. And when I get nervous on my first day of work,” Your little monster, one of the monsters you’d created for him, “I’ll hold Magna real tight and think of you.”

The goblin felt rough in your pocket as you gripped it in your fist. Standing before the boy with the buzz cut. He was painting a box. Something small with a latch.

“Hi.” Your voice shook. His eyes were bigger up close. His tongue reached out and licked his lips.

“Hi.” Just one friend. That’s all Dad wanted. Just one.

“I’m Y/N.” His eyes looked down at the box, fiddling with it. The black paint is on his fingers now. Eyes back on you he speaks low.

“I’m Eddie.” It comes out as a croak. It was kind of instant after that.

Your Dad was so proud.

And Eddie became a constant at your home. Dinners, sleepovers (much to your Mother’s chagrin), riding bikes through Hawkins. You’d found out he lived with his uncle. Both parents are gone.

“My Dad’s in jail.” He admitted. But didn’t tell you why. Just that he never wanted to see him again. Eddie was sweet. He was shy. And he did whatever you’d asked him to.

He told you of his friends, his band Corroded Coffin they’d decided on.

“I play guitar, obviously.”

“Why is it obvious?”

“Oh well…” He thought it was the coolest instrument to play, that’s why it was obvious. With complete candor it was a relief. A relief to have met Eddie on the first day of your term at camp. You’d spent the whole summer believing he was the only friend you needed. And you really did everything together.

From the minute you’d stepped foot into Hawkins Middle you’d be attached at the hip. If you wanted to paint, he’d paint, if you wanted to play cards, he’d play cards. And he’d agreed to making friendship bracelets without question. The braided string tightly wound around each of your wrists.

“Look.” In your basement. The table was littered with miniatures, tiny goblins, ghouls, monsters you helped create. The light in his eyes. Bright as your Dad ran a mini campaign for the two of you. He’d gifted a copy of the guide and a set of dice to Eddie for his birthday that year.

“Something to get you started.” The grin on your Father’s face was immense.

It was the last good summer. You think. The last one. In a long time.

The last time you felt like a kid. Truly.

The summer before you lost a key part of yourself.

It was the summer before your Dad died.

When your Dad died, everything ended. Everything.

When school started Eddie tried to include you in his friend group. He did. But they didn’t seem very receptive. As most 12 year old boys wouldn’t be interested in a girl joining the group. But Eddie insisted. Corroded coffin wasn’t having it. And neither was anyone else.

Your Mom put you in cheer. Maybe that was the turning point.

You didn’t know whose fault it was. Yours or Eddie’s. But you stopped talking.

He didn’t even look at you.

So you didn’t look at him.

At first.

You were hurt. Of course you were. You’d written notes. Countless notes from simple ‘How are you?’, ‘I miss you’, to ‘Why are you ignoring me?’.... ‘What did I do?.’

You never delivered them. They sat, much with everything else you had from your time with Eddie, in a black box with a small gold latch, collecting dust. The same box he’d been painting the first day you met. A gift. He’d handed it to you, blushing. Shy. A little figurine your Dad helped him craft inside, along with a drawing he’d done of your half elf ranger. A few rocks he thought you’d think were cool. And a few of his guitar picks.

He grew more wild. The shy boy you once knew became more outlandish. He started a Dungeons & Dragons club at school. Yelled at jocks. Roughhoused in the halls.

You’d see him from time to time.

Walking by you in the hall, your eyes would lock. Like a game of chicken seeing who would look away first.

The friendship bracelets were gone.

He’d replaced his with rings. Chains on his jeans. Torn jean jackets and patch jobs. His once rich brown hair box dyed a shaggy black.

“Good thing you stopped hanging around that boy.” Your Mom would spit. “Never liked him.”

Eddie “the Freak” Munson.

A new nickname he wore proudly. Flipping off both staff and students at school.

You knew he knew, when your Dad passed away. There was a period of time where he’d almost seem choked every time he saw you. And you were clearly not doing well. Your ass was a permanent fixture in the guidance counselor's office. Three days a week sometimes, not by choice.

“You can talk to me, you know?” Is what she’d say, but you didn’t feel like talking. You hadn’t talked to anyone in a while. You’d see Eddie in the hall and refuse to meet his eyes. The brush of his jacket as you squeeze past. Maybe a brush of a finger. By accident only. A few weeks had gone by before he seemingly had the courage. After school.

“Hey.” A cleared throat. His voice had gotten deeper but it was still cracking. You looked back at him and shut your locker, lifting your backpack onto your shoulder.

“Hi.” His eyes seemed glassy, lips bitten red. His tongue darts out to wet them before speaking again. He’s rocking on his heels a bit. Nervous.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry… About your old man.” You felt your throat constrict. Like it did when anyone brought him up. You sniff and turn away.

“It’s fine.” You wanted to leave. You had to catch the bus. There was a small huff behind you and he reached and grasped your arm.

“Y/N, it’s not fine. I just–”

“Please let me go.” You turn to him with watery eyes. You needed to get out of there. You didn’t know you’d been waiting for him to come talk to you this whole time and now that it’s happening the emotions were overwhelming. His hand slowly releases. And he just lets you leave.

You wish he hadn’t. Maybe if he had insisted you would have invited him over like before. He could stay with you while you cried. He could maybe help you with all of Dad’s stuff in the basement collecting dust. Untouched from his final campaign.

Work Related Accident.

That’s what they told you. At Hawkins Lab. You didn’t know what that meant. Did he fall from somewhere high? Was it painful? Did he suffer? No details. It’s a government facility after all. And no matter what questions your Mom had asked, they were quickly hushed with a sum of money she wouldn’t disclose the sum of.

With lack of income now your Mom was forced to join the workforce. She got a job at The Hideout, a local dive. Asleep when you were getting ready for school, and already gone when you got home. You’d spend most of your nights eating microwaved bagel bites in front of the tv. Scribbling out your homework and falling asleep by nine.

And it would be years before you’d talk to Eddie again.

Spring, 1986

The diner was quiet tonight. Somewhat of an annoyance, but also somewhat of a relief. No rowdy kids throwing french fries across the table. No spilled sodas. Milkshakes spewed out of their noses. It was just you and a trucker stopping in for something to eat before hitting the road once more. The news ambled on in the background. Quiet.

One more hour until you could close it up for good.

“Pour me one more cup, sweetheart.” Low and grumbly, “Then you can close me out.” The tink of the trucker’s fork against the now empty plate of pie. A glare of headlights hit the front of the diner and your heart sank, it was too late to want to do anything now. You looked behind you at the line cook. John. He’d already begun cleaning up. You topped the trucker’s coffee as the bell rang on the front door. And your heart stopped.

“Eddie?” He was panicking. Wild eyed. You could see a sheen on his face. Clammy and pale. His knuckles gripped white on the counter.

“Y/N.” His eyes drifted to the trucker who was now staring at him. He swallowed. Hard. “I need you–your help.” It was startling. And you thought you should be angry. You hadn’t spoken in almost six years. You didn’t even know that he knew you worked here. And now he needs your help? But the panic. The sweat. It gave you a chill. It made your stomach turn. Something was wrong.

The trucker’s footsteps retreated on the gravel as you locked the door, flipping the open sign to closed. You noticed Eddie’s van, parked haphazardly by the dumpster, almost out of view entirely. You’d sat him in a booth, his hands gripping a cup of coffee he hasn’t taken a sip of. He’d closed the blinds around him.

“I’m heading out.” A call from the back.

“See you tomorrow John.” And the two of you were alone. It was then you saw how badly Eddie was shaking. Trembling. As you slipped into the booth he jumped, startled. Eyes drifting slowly from his hands up towards your face. His rings tapped against the mug. “Eddie–”

“I didn’t do it.” Quick, startling, “You have to believe me.” His hand shot out and gripped yours. He felt as clammy as he looked. “I didn’t–” He was crying.

“Eddie,” You place your hand over his, leaning in. “I need you to calm down and tell me what happened.” His bottom lip trembled.

“Chrissy…” Eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling.

“Cunningham?” The cheerleader. She was a sophomore when you graduated. When Eddie was supposed to graduate the first time. You knew her. Vaguely. You had nothing against her. Not really. A sharp pain in your chest whenever you thought about her though.

The talent show, 1980.

You hadn’t planned on going. Not at first. But you’d seen Eddie sign Corroded Coffin up to play and you couldn’t help it. You’d wanted to see him play on stage before, never had the chance. You had felt so proud of him. It was the first time they’d performed for an audience. This was pre-Hideout days. Before they started performing regularly at your Mom’s job.

You’d gone into the hall behind the auditorium. Working yourself up for it. You were going to talk to him. For the first time in a year. You were gonna do it. You had a reason to. To congratulate him on his performance. Let him know you saw it. Let him know how much better he’d gotten since strumming your Dad’s acoustic in your basement. Maybe you could be friends again. This was your in.

Until you’d seen him with Chrissy.

He liked her. You could tell. He really liked her. And you didn’t know why your chest hurt so badly. His hand rubbed against his freshly buzzed hair and she gripped her pom poms to her chest and grinned up at him in a way that made you sick. The way he looked at her, it made your stomach turn. Acidic, bubbling up your throat. Your chest was tight. He’d never looked at you that way. As the rest of the band stumbled out the door carrying equipment, Eddie soon dropped off to help them. Chrissy skipped away to join her friends.

And you left. Without saying a word.

You didn’t need him.

“Chrissy Cunningham?” You asked again. His eyes. You’d never seen them so wide.

“She’s…dead.” And he didn’t do it. He didn’t… The disbelief on your face. You could feel it. And he could sense the fear.

“Eddie–”

“I didn’t. Y/N, please.” You pulled your hands from his and he chased them, abandoning the coffee mug, gripping your right hand with both of his. “I know you’re not gonna believe me, but please. I didn’t do it. They’re gonna say I did it, but I didn’t.” You had to know he didn’t. Not Eddie. No way. He’d cried when he accidentally killed a ladybug. You had to have a funeral. A headstone made out of twigs.

“What happened?” It was unbelievable. He was right. But you’d never seen him so scared before. And your gut had never been wrong. But her body, levitating? Bones snapping? Her eyes…

“I didn’t know where else to go.” And he came to you. You felt conflicted. But the timer was running out. “Wayne will be home in a few hours, he’ll find her and then they’ll be looking for me.” You had a choice to make. And you didn’t know what to do. Your eyes drifted back out towards his van. The tick of the clock behind you in silence before you decided,

“We’ve gotta ditch the van.” You tug your bottom lip between your teeth, looking back at his glassy and hopeful eyes. “C’mon.”

Why were you doing this? The early hours of the morning greeted you, Eddie in the backseat under a blanket, van tucked away in the woods by Lovers Lake. There was mud on your shoes from the hike back to your car. Pulling into your driveway with a sigh of relief, “Mom’s not home yet.” As you kill the engine. “Hurry.”

The basement, untouched. White sheets covered mostly everything, a thick layer of dust on top made the both of you cough as you swept one of them off the couch. The plaid green couch that you’d last sat on the day your Father died. Eddie’s eyes swept the room.

“Y/N–”

“I couldn’t.” You shook your head. “I couldn’t touch anything.” He nods. It’s an understanding. But so much has happened in the last 8 hours you were pretty sure he wasn’t actually listening anyway. “Mom never comes down here so just don’t make a lot of noise and you’ll be fine.” You could begin to feel how tired you are. The weight in your limbs. Eddie sunk into the couch beside you. A beat of silence, then another.

“Do you believe me?” It was important. You could tell. But you didn’t know. The Eddie you knew wouldn’t have killed anyone. But you weren’t sure if you knew him anymore. Not really. And you weren’t sure if you really were harboring a murderer or not. But it was important for him, to know you believe him. The silence was too loud. “Okay…” He sniffs, “Okay.”

“Get some rest.” You pushed up from the couch, “When my Mom goes to work we can figure it out.” It had to be enough. For now. And as you started up the stairs you couldn’t help but feel your heart break with the way he looked at you. But you needed sleep. You both did.

And it hadn’t come easy.

But in the end it came. And that’s all that mattered.

Later on that day, Mom had already left before you’d woken up. And you called the diner to let them know that you couldn’t come in. Your eyes couldn’t part with the tv screen. Nails bitten clean off. Down to nubs, painful and a little red. Bacon was frying on the stove.

“A body was discovered in Forest Hill Trailer park this morning–” Eddie’s trailer not too far in the background. Blurry. Alongside the rest of the trailers in the back. The creak of the basement stairs made you jump, turning quickly to see Eddie creaking the door open. You’d shouted down to him ten minutes ago. He hadn’t responded. You thought he was still asleep. But it didn’t look like he’d slept at all. His eyes instantly shot to the screen where the reporter continued, “Police are asking for cooperation in finding the killer, if you have seen anything suspicious please do not hesitate to call in.” You stepped to the tv and turned the knob, changing the channel to something a little less ominous.

“Food’s almost ready,” You gesture your head to the bathroom, “Go shower, give me your clothes so I can wash them.” You didn’t know what you were doing. As you shut the lid to the washing machine and cranked the knob. What the hell were you doing?

Your hands shook as you plated the food in front of him. He was in your Dad’s clothes. Temporarily. Just sweats and a t-shirt, but still. This whole situation was unnerving.

“Please talk to me.” A whisper. A plea. His voice seemed so soft. You sighed heavily, taking a sip of orange juice.

“I don’t know what to say.” Which was true. Which was why you weren’t saying anything. What do you say? What could you say?

“Anything, please.” You watched him push his eggs around his plate. He was nervous. You could hear the clock ticking behind you. The cartoons flashing across the screen not too far away. And you were sure that your heart was pounding so hard it could burst through your chest at any moment.

“How is school going?” It felt redundant. Stupid to ask. He’d been held back. Twice. You remember. He tugged his lip between his teeth and shrugged.

“Thought I was gonna finally graduate.” He thought he was. Who knows what will happen now. “Ms. O’Donnel was giving me some extra credit. Help me get my grade up. All I had to do was pass the final. A 70 or more.” And now he was wanted for murder. “You really haven’t gone down there since…” The basement.

You cleared your throat, “No.” You wiped your sweaty palms against your shorts, “I couldn’t.” He hesitated and then said,

“I missed you… I missed you a lot.” You scoff.

“You stopped talking to me.” His brow furrows,

“No, you stopped talking to me.” You roll your eyes.

“Eddie–” His fork drops to the plate as there’s a knock on the door. Not just a knock, but a pounding. “My room.” You grab his plate and toss it in the trash, glass in the sink. “Now.” He runs, shutting the door behind him as you step to look into the peephole. You unlock the door and yank it open, stuffing yourself in the empty space, one foot in and one foot out.

“Harrington?” You were out of breath, needed to calm down, “What are you doing here?” With Buckley and a group of kids you didn’t recognize. You knew Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley only because you’d worked with them for a brief moment before Starcourt burned down. Not really acquaintances at school, not enough to nod.

“Is Eddie here?” A kid with a trucker hat and braces. Your heart begins to race.

“Henderson, relax.” Steve stood with his hands on his hips, “He means to ask if you’ve seen him.”

“Why would I have seen him?” You cross your arms, leaning against the door jam. Dustin looks confused,

“Because he’s in trouble and he talks about you all the time, so why wouldn’t he come to you when he’s in trouble?” The kid, Dustin, steps closer. “We just want to help.” A crash could be heard behind you and Dustin uses that to rush past.

“Kid!” The rest follow, running in. It doesn’t take long. Dustin enters your room without knocking, with Steve quick to follow. Another crash and you’re running in after them. Eddie had Steve up against the wall. The letter opener from your desk against his throat. Dustin was pushing himself up from the floor where he’d been presumably knocked down in the tussle. “Eddie!”

“Hey, Eddie, it’s okay.” You could feel the audience growing behind you as Dustin began to reason with him. “We’re here to help.”

“Eddie.” You call. His eyes drifted towards yours. Steve is sweating.

“We’re just here to help.” Robin repeats. You step closer, softly gripping Eddie’s wrist.

“Here, give it to me.” You can see Eddie’s knuckles are a blistering white against the handle of the sharp letter opener. You could see he’d been going through your desk beforehand. That little black box opened, its contents splayed across the surface. Not really time to think about it now, “Eddie, please.”

“We just wanna know what happened.”

His grip loosens on the letter opener, enough for you to slip it from his hand, and he moves. He presses himself into the wall and slides down, resting his forehead on his knees. You squat in front of him, tossing the letter opener on your bed, you rest your hands over his.

“You guys will never believe me.” It’s mumbled. Shaky.

“Try us.” It’s the girl. The one whose brother died in the fire last year. You recognize her. She meets your eyes and shrugs.

It’s unbelievable. But he’s not lying. Not after what they tell you. It kind of feels like a joke. Something sick and twisted from some campaign that’s had nothing but low rolls. Failing at every turn. You feel Eddie’s eyes on you as they talk about the lab. Hawkin’s Lab. What went on there. Something you’re sure your Father knew about. How could he have not? You’re sunk to the floor in front of Eddie. The strength in your legs is long gone. Dustin and Robin are sitting on your bed. Max was still in the doorway. Steve was leaning against your desk.

“So Vecna…” You began, “Is it just on a list of creatures in the Upside Down?”

“Not a creature, but… A dark wizard.” Dustin offers.

“Like in D&D.” Eddie’s hand grazed your arm before settling. It gave you comfort you didn’t know you needed. You read about him. Vecna. In the new book. Briefly. You hadn’t played in a while, but you still kept up on the guide books. The Cult of Vecna. Unfathomable power.

“So this creature has the power to curse those topside?” You tug your lip between your teeth, “How do they choose? What happens if one of us is next?”

“It was easier when we had this girl.” Steve offered, “El, she had superpowers. So.” But that didn’t really help us now. Eddie seemed to have some kind of peace with the explanation. It didn’t help his case with local police, but knowing that the government knew about what was going on here in Hawkins made him feel like there could be a way out.

“If they don’t just pin it on me in a coverup.” Was uttered later.

But the group decided to go investigate. Leaving the two of you with a walkie talkie and new information you had to mull over.

After shutting the front door, you made a beeline for the basement. The table in the center, covered for years, you rip the sheet from the surface. Revealing what’s underneath. It looked like a village. Mountains and forest surrounding. Center of town. But now you knew what it was. What it really was.

“It’s Hawkins.” You tell Eddie. “It was always Hawkins.” The two of you circle to the table. Where your Father would have sat. Where the villains come from. He sat on the edge of the board where the lab would be. “He knew.” You couldn’t help it, bottom lip trembling. “He knew something bad was coming.”

“They said that the Upside Down didn’t open until 1983.” Eddie reasoned. So what did that mean? He died in 1979. Four years before the Upside Down opened. You shrug.

“He must have seen something.” You shake your head, looking at the pawns still on the board. “Or maybe he was threatening to tell the truth.” About what was actually going on there. The testing. The kids. Which would mean maybe Eleven knew him. In some capacity. Maybe she would know what happened to him.

“You kept it.” His knuckles rested on the table. Rings scraping against the surface. You looked up at him questioningly. “The box.” There was fondness there, in his voice.

“What did Dustin mean?” You ask. “When I opened the door, he said he knew to come here because you talked about me all the time.” His cheeks seemed to flush, he cleared his throat and began,

“Your Dad introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons, it’s only fair that you’d come up every once in a while.” It wasn’t the answer you’d been hoping for. The disappointment felt high in your chest. It sat like a weight on your heart and you nodded.

“Makes sense.” There was a pregnant pause. Something that seemed to be itching out of both of your throats, but something that wouldn’t come out. His stomach growled and you sigh, starting back up the stairs, “You never finished your breakfast.”

He’d changed a bit since you’d last seen him. The chains weren’t new. Neither was the clothing he had on, fresh from the dryer. But his hair was longer. He had tattoos now. His face had lost that last bit of baby weight. He looked almost too thin. But that’s what being poor is like. There wasn’t always food. Which is why he was currently inhaling everything you’d put before him.

Something in him settled after talking to the group. His appetite came back at least.

“I’m going to head to the store.” You shuffle towards the cabinet, pulling a coffee tin out of the back behind a box of honeycomb. “I’ll grab some groceries,” You flip through a few bills, “Some snacks for you to keep downstairs.” Because for half the day he won’t be up here. Shoving the coffee can back, you turn to bills being pushed in your face.

“Here.” One hand outstretched towards you with the money, and the other still holding his wallet open. Empty. This $34 is the only money he had. “Could you grab me a six pack too?” Money exchanged, you looked at him exasperated.

“I don’t think you should be drinking right now.”

“Well I don’t have any weed and I can’t calm my nerves.” He exaggerates his hand shaking which makes you roll your eyes.

“You’re so annoying.” As you slip on your shoes you hear him say his appreciation, muffled by the door slamming behind you.

It wasn’t far. Two minute drive. There was too much to process as you walked through the grocery store, throwing things in the cart haphazardly. Eddie didn’t kill Chrissy. He was just dealing to her. She was cursed by Vecna, killed. In his trailer. And no one knew where he would strike next. If he would strike next. And your Father… his death was not an accident.

Government coverup is more likely.

You stopped in front of the cooler section. The beers in variety staring back at you. You felt overwhelmed. And suddenly, very, very tired. You grabbed the cheapest six pack you could find and hit the register.

It was as you loaded the groceries into the car that you saw them. Jason Carver was hard to miss with his blonde hair and letterman jacket. Followed by a group dressed the same. He looked devastated. He was Chrissy’s boyfriend. That’s what Eddie told you. When he looked your way you caught a chill. Did he know? How could he know? Were you just paranoid? You tore your eyes away as fast as possible and slammed the trunk. You had to get out of here.

Eddie was watching cartoons on the couch when you returned.

“I’d help you, but–”

“Yeah, yeah.” Two trips later the groceries were laid out and sorted. “Take this downstairs.” A paper bag filled with chips and chocolate. Candy. Snacks you could remember him liking. The six pack was placed in the basement’s mini fridge, plugged back into the wall for the first time in a long time. But the beer wouldn’t last long. Eddie had already cracked one open before you’d placed it in there.

The two of you settled on the couch, staring at what was a Lord of the Rings, rather, a Middle Earth inspired Hawkins.

“I think we need to talk.” Your admission made him take a deep intake of breath. He took a deeper pull from his beer.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” The two of you sat in silence for a moment. Staring at each other. The sun had set fully just a moment ago.

“Do you want to start or–” Eddie clears his throat and picks at the torn fabric of his jeans.

“I’m not sure what to say to start.” He admitted.

“Maybe why you–” Left me, “Stopped talking to me. All Together.” He thought about it for a beat. Then another.

“I didn’t mean to.” Guilt. “I didn’t really… I guess I didn’t really fight to keep you around.” When you’d met Gareth and Jeff they’d been apprehensive. They didn’t want you taking Eddie away from them, away from the band. They said you’d be a distraction. “Which I didn’t get because how could you have been?” You’d been such an important part of his life that summer. But like Yoko Ono had broken up the Beatles, you’d break them up too. “Which is crazy because I didn’t even think of you as a girl.” Ouch. “Not that I didn’t know–it’s not that I didn’t see you as a girl–I just never really thought about you like that.” Double ouch. He buried himself. And it was hard for you to swallow. The dead skin on your finger suddenly seemed far more interesting.

“I didn’t exactly put up a fight either.” You’d just accepted it. He started hanging out with Gareth and Jeff when school started back up and that’s when he’d started walking by you in the halls. You’d go to greet him and he’d turn the other way. It broke your heart. But more than that. You had to explain to your Dad why Eddie suddenly wasn’t coming over. That hurt more than anything. You remember how upset he’d gotten for you, but then tried to explain how kids were.

“He’ll come back around,” Your Dad promised, “He will.”

“Still…” Eddie continued, “I should have done more.” But he tried. Maybe. The interaction in the hall. Just after your Dad died.

“You tried to talk to me and I pushed you away.” That one was your fault. No doubt about that. But Eddie shook his head.

“You were grieving.”

“And I really needed you.” It came out more of a whimper than you wanted. “And I still pushed you away.” He places the now empty beer can on the floor and leans back against the arm rest, head tipping back to look at the ceiling.

“I thought about just coming over.” Eddie shrugged, “I think I even got to your door once or twice, but I just couldn’t do it.” His voice was terse, angry. “Which makes sense… I’m a coward after all. I just run.” He was sore over leaving Chrissy’s body like that. She died alone. Afraid. And he ran. “I just run away when things get hard.” Just like when he couldn’t face you in the hall. In middle school, right there at the beginning. He would turn the other way. Avoid. “After your Dad died I kept hoping, maybe you’d come to me.” Maybe you’d seek him out. For comfort.

“I wanted to.” But you couldn’t. You thought… there was no place for you in his life anymore. You didn’t want to risk the rejection on top of it all. You thought him reaching out to you was just for pity.

“It wasn’t.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Your Dad… was the best.” His Dad was a jailbird. Teaching him how to steal from when he had honed his fine motor skills. How to hotwire a car. How to peddle drugs. Your Dad though, was everything he had wanted his Dad to be. Everything he could have hoped for in a Father. And your Dad was so giving with the love and approval he had. “I cared about him, and about you.” You waited for the ‘I still do.’ It seemed absent.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” The two of you sat in silence. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” It feels stupid now. In light of everything. You’d both been too scared. You’d both ran away from one another, and for a brief moment your mind wanders to what could have been. You’d have been in Hellfire Club. A founder maybe. Eddie, who you once taught the game, would have been your Dungeon Master. You’d have been together. Through all of it. Maybe you’d have gone to prom together. Maybe Eddie wouldn’t have failed high school had you been there to tutor him. He wouldn’t have been dealing to Chrissy. He wouldn’t have been there when she died and she wouldn’t have died in his trailer. Maybe this is all your fault.

“Hey.” A touch to your hand. “Where did you go just then?” You forgot how big his eyes were. God, you forgot how big his eyes were. How full his lips were. You shook your head, retreating in on yourself.

“Just thinking about something stupid.” Pushing yourself from the couch, away from him, you’d fetched him blankets from upstairs. The chest at the end of your bed and spared him a pillow. “This might be better for you tonight.” Hopefully he could finally get some sleep.

“Thanks.” He settled back onto the couch, feet hanging off the end by a hair.

“I’ll uh… talk to you tomorrow.” Before you could retreat his hand reached out and grasped yours.

“Thank you, honestly, for everything.” Your heart skips a beat as he brushes his lips to your knuckles. Briefly.

“You’re welcome, for everything."

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #stranger things

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britcision · 9 months

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Anyway I have less than no respect for “bad things happened in my life and I will Fight The Gods About It cuz clearly they only matter if they make things perfect for Me”

Just, in general, ever, for a couple reasons

1) there’s almost fucking always something much more immediate, tangible, and fucking practical that you could do if you ACTUALLY wanted to stop bad things happening

But sure you go wage war on deity and ignore the fucking government right there building systems designed to grind people for parts

(Ludinus fucking especially since he IS IN CHARGE OF THE PEOPLE BUILDING THE GRINDERS but shhhhh he’s totally got a point about the gods deserving to die)

Wild how the only acceptable solution is to grab ultimate power yourself instead of, y’know, fixing the plumbing

2) the fucking hubris. The complete certainty that you’re the most important thing in existence, the only thing that could possibly matter, and every god not catering to your needs is a failure on their part

And like, a good 30% of that comes in on peoples’ sheer fucking refusal to understand that polytheism is not monotheism with a selection sheet, clearly all the gods are individually all powerful 🙄

Clearly none of them have shit to do except watch you specifically all day and every shitty happening is intentional and deliberate cruelty

The kind of people who would believe the fucking sun revolved around them personally if the rest of the planet wasn’t in the way

And they absolutely will not have my respect but you could be the Lucky Lucky Recipient of 50% Less Scorn if they actually… y’know… gave a shit about a single other person

Just, maybe, the tiniest bit, cared for the lives of the cultists who think they have a point

Didn’t sacrifice them like spitballs at the drop of a fucking hat

Didn’t build the whole “you are dying for a bigger cause” into their rhetoric and yet Never Sacrifice Shit Themselves

They never do

It never happens

Anyone telling you a good death is better than being alive and not immediately acting on their own words should not be fucking trusted

Because if your whole argument falls apart with a single “what makes you think that was their job” you have fundamentally failed

It is the job of government to improve peoples’ lives because Why Else Do We Fucking Pay Them

It’s fucking why God of War has always been gods starting shit with Kratos when there’s an ounce of storytelling - they’re ACTIVELY causing his problems

But if it’s just “well if you’re so good why do bad things exist”? Go to a first year philosophy debate and revel in the number and variety of answers

Or drum up a cult following and aggrandise yourself with any chucklefuck who falls for it

Shit happens

Life sucks

Now you can get your hands dirty and try and actually do something about it, or you can pout at the sky and stomp your feet and tell Daddy you hate him for not making it better

(Note: yell at sky is valid as a coping mechanism. When it becomes your praxis you done fucked up)

#it’s never ‘fight the gods so we can redistribute their wealth’#it’s ‘fight the gods so I Can Be The New One I Pinky Swear I Will Totally Care About People Then’#‘what do you mean i should care about them now’#hypocritical bs #but hey cr teaching us how cult mentality works #hope that was intentional

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animentality · 2 years

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im gonna self identify as bisexual and nonbinary before i start this post, and get stupid people mad at me, alright? proceed with that knowledge before you get your straight woman-burning torches out

i hate how every time a lesbian show comes out, people immediately rush to say, “all y’all mlm lovers had better show up for this show too or else you’re homophobic and fetishizing!”

how about you not decide what other people should be interested in???

what gives you the right to say what other people should like?

no one has to like anything.

so straight girls aren’t as into lesbian shows as lesbians.

why does this shock you?? if they’re straight, they’re into guys making out.

oh IM SO SORRY.

they have different romantic and sexual interests than you!! does it shock you that gay men prefer gay shows over lesbian shows?

are straight men allowed to like first kill, or is it a lesbian only event?

NO ONE IS REQUIRED BY LAW TO SHARE YOUR TASTE IN SHOWS.

Why do we equate activism with our entertainment tastes???

Liking First Kill doesn’t make you a queer activist, the fuck?

Like listen.

I haven’t watched the show. I don’t really like vampire stories. In fact, I kind of hate them. So I probably won’t watch it, not because I’m homophobic or whatever, but literally because I didn’t like Twilight either.

But why does this count as some kind of crime?

Why are we playing this game of, “you’re required to watch this if you’re queer or support queers?”

no, the fuck, you are not.

why do you require all queer people, and straight people, to love every single gay show you like, or else they’re bad, nasty people who probably harass lesbians and burn pride flags?

what is this bullshit rhetoric too, where you’re like:

“Oh you’ll watch heartstopper but you won’t watch first kill???”

the two are not alike other than being gay.

maybe people are into teen high school dramas (I don’t fucking get it, I actually am not interested in heartstopper either).

maybe they’re not into teen vampire stories.

maybe first kill sucks.

i don’t know, i haven’t seen it.

my point is just this, ok.

stop. insisting. everyone. love the same shit you do.

just because it’s a lesbian show.

im sorry that you feel people don’t support wlw shows as much as mlm.

im sorry that there are straight women who are gross and fetishizing and problematic and creepy.

i know there are.

im not defending all of them here.

I just resent this implication, every time that a wlw show comes out, that it’s because ohhh straight women are the issue!

there are plenty of lesbian shows that were really fucking popular. with like, everyone.

orange is the new black, killing eve, the l word. lesbians are also more likely to show up in cartoons like steven universe, she-ra, owl house.

these are popular fucking shows. but for a multitude of reasons.

and people tell us about the lore, the world building, the characters.

it’s not just people saying oh watch it bc its gay.

i say this as a bisexual, that’s actually not good enough, for me anyway, to watch something. i resent being told that i NEED to watch a vampire show im not interested in, or a teen romance show im not interested in, just bc a pack of social media activists say that i should be.

consider that your tastes are not universal.

and you can promote first kill without trying to gay guilt people into watching it by insisting they aren’t allowed to like heartstopper if they don’t like first kill.

im sick of it.

can you say the show is good for this or that reason, or are you just gonna lean on everyone, straight woman or man, by saying HOW DARE YOU NOT WATCH A SHOW THAT I LIKE?

Get off your gay high horse. I’m bringing you down with my bisexual lasso to tell you to chill out and stop tearing down gay shows to prop up others.

#first kill #heartstopper #gay #lesbian #lgbt

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cookinguptales · 1 year

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Hey! I'd love to have a serious reading if you have time! No worries if not 😊

Let's go with 12

I am Heather 🌸🌺🟣

I just told you that I have time! I'd be delighted to give you a reading. :)

Two of you actually requested deck 12 at once, so I guess the other person is getting a sneak peek at what's to come. This deck is the Halloween Tarot, and it's a cute one!

Hmm. This kind of makes me feel like you might be having a rough time, and if that's true, I'm sorry to hear it.

The Lovers, when reversed, indicates a deep sense of disharmony in your life. This is typically found between you and your loved ones, but that's not always the case. It could be disharmony between you and your friends, you and your neighbors, you and your coworkers -- hell, it could even indicate a disharmony with yourself. Personally, I think that last one is the one to watch out for most.

If there's a struggle here, I think it's time to take stock. It's good to think about your relationships every so often, and deeply. What do you love about this person, and what do you hate? Are those feelings fair? Is this relationship serving you the way it should? If someone is being unkind to you, it's okay to pull away from them. But sometimes you just need to think about why you got into this relationship in the first place, and whether those good experiences outweigh the bad.

If this is a relationship with someone that you can't get away from (say, a coworker or yourself), then I think it's still good to think deeply about this. What can be strategies to build the gap, or at least learn to cope with a bad situation? Are you being unkind to yourself, and how might you better come to understand your own needs?

Again, I'd really like to emphasize that this card can be about a discordance with yourself, especially considering the cards to come. Maybe you don't understand your own needs right now, or maybe you're being needlessly cruel to yourself, or maybe you're in denial about why you're doing something. I don't know.

I think an open line of communication is key, regardless. Talk to those around you or have a good heart-to-heart with yourself. Try to think through things carefully and make the decision that's best for everyone. Just don't avoid the problem! That's the worst thing you can do.

If you manage to do all that (easier said than done, I know), the Star is waiting for you. The Star is a card that's about the rainbow after the storm, so to speak. It's a card that speaks to self-fulfillment as a result of courage and faith. Basically, good things will come to you if you reach out and grab them. Shitty things may be happening now, but there's a chance for self-growth here and a sort of enlightenment that can only come from truly working through your problems and understanding yourself. What I'm saying is... keep your head up and your eyes clear. Do your best to work through the discordance in your life and what's on the other side will be really, really good for you.

Finally, we have the Two of Swords. That indicates that you've found yourself at decision time. We have a problem, we have a likely positive outcome far in the future -- but you can only get there if you make some tough decisions now. I know it sucks, but I reiterate: the worst thing you can do right now is avoid your problems. You need to face them head-on and really deeply consider what you want, what you need, and how to improve whatever relationship is ailing you.

I guess, altogether... shit's hard. It's really hard. You're in turmoil, maybe, and things seem like they won't ever get better. So maybe it's time to stop, really analyze your options, and make a decision. One way or another, you'll feel much better after you've addressed the issue and taken steps to improve it.

#tarot shenanigans

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sarah-dipitous · 1 year

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 22

We're at the Season 1 penultimate episode for both of these series (and I guess the next Sherlock episode I watch is ALSO the Season 1 penultimate episode, but like...that's a three episode season. We won't even SEE Jim til almost March :( )

"Salvation"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: If the first five minutes are just sitting through a recap of the last 20 episodes? I can survive sitting through that (but I won't be happy about it). Nevermind, seems like we're getting a real first five minutes. Know what? I'd let Meg kill me. If she's gonna do it anyway, might as well make it my choice or something.

I relish Winchester infighting. There's been so much of it this season and it's so good even if a little pointless. And now there's three to fight with each other??

What a wonderful name for a midwest town to wrap this season up in: Salvation, Iowa. Damn.

So, I think I'd be more...invested in this whole "Pastor Jim is dead and that's hitting too close to home for the Winchesters" if, you know, the first time we met him it wasn't when Meg slashed his throat open.

It's kind of convenient that Sam has psychic visions at just the right times.

I'm. No. SIR! NO. Disrespectfully, no. You fucking DISAPPEARED, you don't get to tell Dean that if something weird starts happening with Sam, that you need to be told IMMEDIATELY. Fuck that noise. Stop it. Do not make me laugh. I'll fucking do it.

I paused before Dean got his say in, and OH MAN. YES, Dean!!! Nah, bitch, you don't get to abandon your kids and OCCASIONALLY leave cryptic messages, but then tell them you don't like the tone they're taking with you. Nu uh.

Oh. Okay. Her picking off John's friends one by one is, frankly, delicious. I should not be this attracted to her right now. I really do just love when villains

I...am truly heartbroken over what John wants for his sons. He wants Sam to be able to go back to school, which is nice and fine. He should get to follow his dreams. But then he says "I want Dean to have a home." And that's one of those moments you realize how much Dean has lacked for so much of his life. Sam had Stanford for all the time he was there, and he would have likely had a settled life, but DEAN? (I'm shifting into my "Being Broken Hearted Dean and Touya At the Same Time For Similar Reasons" mode)

I *DON'T* like the boys (*coughsamcough*) trying to say good bye "in case something happens," even if I do get it.

John IS smart though. Smart even if he's reckless. The boys, a little less so. Or the father of the family they're trying to protect is also...very protective, as he should be. Two guys in their mid-twenties just broke into their house in the middle of the night. Usually, they build a better rapport with whomever they're trying to save. Guess they didn't really have the time today.

Oh shit. Dean got that baby out not a moment too soon.

I mean, we had to know they weren't going to get the demon tonight.

Dean just doesn't want to lose the only two people he has, and those two people seem to be a-okay with just throwing their lives away, sacrificing themselves for this cause. I'm distraught.

"Been On My Mind...": No. And I didn't expect to with all plot that's happening

"Bad Wolf"

This is such a fun and weird way to enter the episode: the Doctor being sucked into some future form of the show Big Brother. And Rose is on The Weakest Link (does that even exist anymore?? Does it have actual new episodes on the Game Show Network or is it just reruns? Do they even have reruns of it anymore?)

You gotta love Jack's confidence "Ladies, your viewing figures just went up"

I think this bit would have been maybe funnier back in '06? Now it's just...I dunno. It's not hitting like it's probably supposed to. It's probably supposed to be a mix of funny and horrifying? But the whole Weakest Link part is now just horrifying....seventeen years later.

Don't tell me she gets vaporized too...wtf.

Finally. Some development.

(I feel bad because I remember liking this episode a lot more in the past.)

I shouldn't laugh because it's not actually funny (or it is in a grim way). But the actual news getting shut down and then governments collapsing because of that and the rise of all of these inane yet extremely dangerous game shows and reality tv shows...feels poignant for some reason.

Rose's disintegration doesn't hit as hard when you know she's not actually dead. Or at least she comes back.

I even SAW the daleks in the preview the other day and forgot they were coming back for this episode.

This episode was what would have been a lot of confusion in the first half (if this weren't a rewatch) and set up in the second half, so there wasn't a lot to say, sadly.

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023 #in which i (to my surprise still) have much more to say about spn again

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wikiangela · 2 years

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starting only murders in the building s2 - post turned out longer than I anticipated so I'm adding the keep reading thing haha

(warning: don't keep reading if you like Selena, I'm expressing my opinion about her bluntly and no, I'm not interested in her defenders' opinions 😁)

straight from the beginning I'm annoyed by the cop dude 🙄 jfc kill him next lol

what Mabel said to him (the lawyer thing) was certainly not funny, and yet the lady cop laughed - they're still trying so hard to convince the audience they can do comedy huh 😂

also, oh my, Selena learned how to open her mouth wider, I'm shocked 😂

I gotta say, as much as I'm interested in the story, all of the characters are so fucking annoying oh my god 😂 (maybe except for Charles but that might be just because he's Steve Martin haha - and I liked Theo too, but the rest of them suck lol)

the "it's a callback" literally made me facepalm - i guess it was supposed to be cringy, but oh my god

Selena's actually better with facial expressions this season so far (did she see all the comments on the internet and took some acting classes before s2 lmao - and I know the comments and reviews criticizing her are there, I went looking to see if I'm the only one not enjoying her performance hahaha), though she still has only one tone of voice - also, in that scene with the cops she was opening her mouth wider, but now she's back to talking as if she was clenching her teeth all the time - it almost hurts my jaw just hearing her talk like that 😂😂 it that just how Selena talks irl? wow that's annoying 😂

why is Cara what's-her-name in this jfc 🙄 i only saw her in paper towns but I do not like her lol

did they hope Amy Schumer would make this show funnier too? that's cute 😂

can they get on with the story of the murder pls I'm bored

actually, as much as I wasn't hype for Cara, I'm enjoying her more than Selena 💁🏻‍♀️ - god, Selena's voice is so monotone she could put me to sleep (and don't start on the "it's just the character" bullshit because it's not just that, I watched a whole season of her not showing any emotions even in scenes that warranted it from even the most closed off aloof sarcastic character) - I know I'm saying a lot of shit about her but she just stands out so much in a very unflattering way lmao

I love Tina Fey, she might be the biggest reason I'm continuing with this show 😂 (aside from being interested in who killed bunny hahaha) - unrelated but: should I continue with 30 Rock? I watched like 10 episodes and it was boring and unfunny but like, does it get better or something? bc I kinda wanna see more of Tina Fey 😂😂

okay, so, I'm really interested in the story, I'm so curious about who killed Bunny and why they're trying to frame the main characters, or mainly Charles lol I'll definitely have to keep watching

it's still painfully unfunny (who the fuck writes this show, how can you claim that your show is a comedy - along with other things obvi - and have no funny jokes whatsoever - there are jokes, just not funny ones lol)

Selena is better than in s1 tbh I still don't particularly enjoy her, but at least her face isn't stuck in two facial expressions interchangeably 💁🏻‍♀️ (her tone of voice is still distractingly monotone tho)

I don't know what the purpose of having Amy Schumer in this is, because... well. I kinda liked her specials when I watched them when I was like 15 but... she's not the funniest comedian and we all know that sns - also, if your script sucks in terms of comedy, even bringing the funniest person wouldn't do much sns 😂

I liked it but I gotta say, this show doesn't have the greatest opening episodes. s1e1 was meh, s2e1 was better but only because I already knew the characters

but yeah, it was good, gotta watch the next one later or tomorrow idk (see, a good opening episode would get me so hooked I'd wanna binge it right the fuck now but while I am interested and wanna keep watching, I'm not feeling it rn haha)

#only murders in the building #omitb #omitb season 2 #omitb 2x01 #anti selena gomez #(kinda? idk I'm not hating on her but just to be safe lol)#only murders spoilers

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kenahlihsoul · 2 years

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Flipping The Coin

Look at a coin. Any coin you have lying around and if you don’t have a coin within reach try imagining one in detail. Some coins are really shiny, some are deteriorated beyond recovery, but all of them have the same thing in common: two sides. The one side has the face of an influential person in history which represents that specific coin whether it be Abraham Lincoln on the penny, George Washington on the quarter, or any of the other numerous pieces of currency there are in the world. On the other side, there is a picture depicting a monument, a national bird, a state, or so on. Each side different from the other and each coin individually different than the coin sitting next to it.

Each person has there own “mental coin”. Two different trains of thought, you can have a negative side or a positive side. The way our brains currently work is we flip that coin and, by chance, we take whatever we get. We wake up in the morning, and we are either on the right or wrong side of the bed. Every choice we make we are positive or negative without really consciously thinking about it.

My question for you is, how many times this month have you at any point in the day said “People suck” or “I suck”. What about the past week? This very day? Every single one of you without a doubt has chosen this side of the coin at some point, maybe some more often than others. It has become trait humanity has lost control of, living with the negative. Maybe you looked in the mirror, flipped the coin, and it landed on negative. Suddenly, you notice how frizzy your hair is, how bad your acne has broken out, or how much weight you have gained.

What happens if you pick up that coin and flip it over yourself? What if you choose what side you wanted? What if you changed your way of thinking to a more positive side? Well, I will tell you what happens. When you look in that mirror, you will embrace yourself, flaws and all. Maybe instead of saying “Wow, I have gotten really fat!” you will state “Maybe I will go to the gym today and start working out”. Just the slightest rearrangement of words can make a statement positive and better for your overall mental state. Another one of my favorites is “I look like such a lazy piece of shit” and change that to “Maybe I will dress up and go out”.

Now, this is more challenging than it sounds. Rewiring your brain is harder than just saying some words in the mirror or meditating on your thoughts. Sometimes you are going to say or think something positive to yourself and not mean it. This is something you are going to have to do repeatedly until you actually believe it. And it is not that you are trying to convince yourself of lies. What you are doing is dredging up the stuff that you already know is deep down. All that positivity is in you somewhere. So find it. Search for it. The negativity is brought on by societal norms and pressures so forget those pesky negativities, and find your true self.

I can imagine you sitting there at your computer or on your mobile devices and thinking “Why the hell should I listen to her? What is this positivity going to do for me? This sounds like a load of bull”. Well maybe start there, change that statement to “Maybe I will give this a chance if it might do me some good. It couldn’t hurt to try”. But if you still don’t, believe me, I can give you more scientific minded people some evidence.

My first piece of evidence is the broaden-and-build model which shows that positive emotions not only counteract negative emotions but also “broaden individuals’ habitual modes of thinking and build their personal resources for coping”. This next scholarly article I chose for you is based on biological aftermaths of being more positive. Overall, it discusses the correlations between eudaimonic and hedonic types of well-being and the effects they have on neuroendocrine, the immune system, cardiovascular, and rapid eye movement (or also known as sleep). Now those words might be a little overwhelming and confusing to you. I will explain it as simply as possible. Eudaimonic is the idea of self-improvement or development and feeling purposeful. Hedonic deals with positive feelings like happiness. Now I don’t want to go all research crazy (which is something I really enjoy doing). So, if you would like to read more or interested in more information, I will leave the links to these articles at the bottom of this blog.

So which will you choose my young padawan? Will you stay on the Dark Side? Or will you change and become a Jedi? Sorry, my geek is showing. But honestly, being positive might sound like a lot of work but looking at all the benefits that go along with it, it is definitely worth giving it a shot. Go start flipping those coins!

Cultivating Positive Emotions to Optimize Health and Well-Being (broaden-and-build mode) by Barbara L. Fredrickson - https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2000-03082-001.html Positive health: connecting well-being with biology (eudaimonic and hedonic) - https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/pdf/10.1098/rstb.2004.1521

#two sides of the same coin #smallbusinessowner #philosophy #mindfulness #think about it

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ouryoungestuniverse · 2 years

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An incomplete and irreverent summary of The Old Testament.

God: …

God: boring

God: let’s make something.

God: oh yeah, that’s good.

God: how about something that is a little bit like me.

God: oh shit it’s talking to me

God: oh okay cool, yeah, you can have a friend. I get it man, I wanted a friend too.

God: huh. So I guess we weren’t friends after all. Cool cool cool, get out of my place then.

God: shit, they’re making a mess. I should just wash the board and start over. Shame to waste all that work though. Maybe I could pick out the best and keep that?

God: okay, much better. Now let’s see how they do.

God: wait, whoa, y’all are trying to come up here? No no no, boundaries people, please. There, now you can’t talk to each other.

God: aaannnd now they’re fighting again. I need some representation down there. Let’s see…this guy, he’ll do.

God: Abe, calm down, I said I’d give you a kid and I meant it. You really have to get over this whole “time” concept, it’s too weird, man.

God: there you go, big family, just like you wanted. Should’ve known that player Jacob would take care of that. Now can we talk about—

God: oh, man, if things keep going like this there’s not going to be enough food for all of you in a few years. Okay, let’s get one of you down into a big place like Egypt.

God: not the method I would have chosen, boys, but I can work with this.

God: Great! They’re all in Egypt safe and sound and Joseph’s a big shot. They should be okay there for a while.

God: what the fuck, they’re slaves now? I was gone for like two seconds!

God: okay, Egypt, you wanna go? Not only am I going to plague the shit out of you assholes but I am going to make you bring it on yourselves!

God: look at that. A couple of plagues, a few miracles, and my people are free.

God: wait, what do I do with them now? Shit, they need some ground rules.

God: Literally you haven’t even seen the rules and you’re shitting on them. What the fuck, Israel. You want a homeland? Guess what asshats.

God: okay, now that the old idiots are all dead, let’s get you all a place.

God: man, now there are all these other people in your house. Guess we better get them out.

God: okay! The land is clear, everybody’s settled, let’s talk about how we can show the world how to build a godly community.

God: wait, you want a king? What am I, chopped liver? Fine, you can have one, but he’s going to suck.

God: Told you.

God: okay, but seriously, let’s see if this king thing might work.

God: oh, yeah, okay, Dave, nice work on those songs, pretty impressive in battle…and he just committed adultery and murder. Cool.

God: so this is promising, Solomon. Wisdom, and a nice house for me too! But what’s the deal with all these wives?

God: Solomon?

God: Hello?

God: Man, fine, do what you want. I don’t care.

God: Actually I do care. Y’all are embarrassing me. Where can I put you that you’ll stop causing trouble?

God: Ew, Babylon. That’ll work. Take a time-out over there.

God: okay, time’s up, you can come back now. And what have we learned?

#old testament #irreverent #god #israel #funny

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priscilawithonel · 2 years

Text

TLDR: Virgo seductress

My first time having sex was foreign to me. I can’t remember what it felt like. But I remember what it didn’t feel like. It was not painful. It was not pleasurable. In retrospect I don’t think I was knowledgeable enough back then to notice the things that are normally supposed to be remembered: did they wear a condom did they cum inside me what positions? I think maybe I just wanted to get it over with—not unlike sending an email: you build it up, you set it up, worry it sucks, but eventually you let go of your fear of judgement. You hit the send button in defeat and say, “it’s a learning experience, maybe the next one will be better.” The only difference is that sending an email is an active thing, not passive, like my first time. I just let it all happen to me and I didn’t object. I just watched the girl with the dragon tattoo sideways and let it happen. And it was not anticipatory, at all. I had known it was a thing that happened between people. So I set up a situation to make it happen: I met a stranger, set up a date and allowed myself to have it be done to me. Completely passive. Nothing like sending an email. Maybe it was an exercise in power; and maybe it was, in fact, very active.

When you get a positive response (positive, as in fruitful, and not necessarily joyful/happy) from a sent email, you think “I’m glad I did that.” You get to move on with your life and maybe send another email, so it turns out you did learn, after all, from that first email you sent. I learned from my “first time” that sex is shady, smelly, wrong (boring, anyway, so why do it?). But I kept doing it anyway. Not because I’m a sex addict but maybe in pursuit of the anticipatory feeling before sex. It’s like I’d rather work on that email forever and never actually hit send.

I let someone “take” “my” “virginity” because I did not want it anymore. (The sound those three words makes when spoken makes me feel an uncomfortable pressure—a void so raw and so pure and icky—maybe it’s shame). Or maybe there’s something wrong about the three words which should be torn apart, deconstructed, rethought. Let’s see:

Take: why is it something to be taken?

My: how is it mine? What even is it? Where do I keep it?

Virginity: Ecclesiastical.

an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.

the Virgin, Mary, the mother of Christ.

Informal: any person who is uninitiated, uninformed, or the like:

a female animal that has never copulated.

an unfertilized insect.

Virgin, Astronomy, Astrology.

the constellation or sign of Virgo.

But then again…

Maybe the human condition is to do things without choosing to do them. Choosing is just an illusion. Try as one might to make the right choice, there’s always some sediment of doubt that settles well into the middle of the path chosen. Then, every so often, when you look back, unsettling that dust, and you think, oh shit, look where that choice has gotten me. Like, maybe I did choose to have sex that night, but it’s not until today that I realize it. We let things happen and feel the consequences later. This gets at the heart of indecision: One cannot feel too much and get too terribly caught up in the calculus of making the single right choice. There is no right choice. Choosing, committing, deciding should be as simple as hitting send on an email. The most confident, responsible, agentic thing one can do is choose. Sex is choosing. Choosing is sex.

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hangezoeenthusiast · 3 years

Text

God(hcs)

c!multiple x god!reader

notes: the reader will be the god of death to make it a little bit more spicy :). c!punz’s pronouns are he/they, i’m not sure about the others, but i know theirs. also why does ranboo take away my gender? /j

word count: 1,672

warnings: arson, violence, cursing, yelling, mention of death, voices in technos part, spoilers for wilbur if you haven’t watch tommy’s lore stream, revival for wilbur, making a religion, time travel, egg, prison, stealing, anarchy, playful name calling

Sapnap

so obviously y’all would be a great match :)

you have creative mode, so when sap would ask you to give him a lighter and tnt, you would GLADLY give it

also, can we talk about him being a nether hybrid

fire squared

like fires left and right, hide your mom and your children in your house lol /j

but besides the whole arson thing, you favor him above anyone else on the server

like if he asks for diamond blocks, well here’s a whole inventory of it, also, here’s some ancient debris and some netherite

if someone asked, you would probably grant them with poison and curses, just because you can’t be “unloyal” to snapchat

wouldn’t be lonely anymore

Dreamwastaken

this duo is less chaotic, but chaotic enough where people avoid you

he still asks you for stuff, but most of the time, you don’t give him it because he annoys you too much about giving stuff

“hey y/n/n, can i pretty please get some emerald blocks.”

“nope bitch, get it yourself.”

but sometimes, you grant him some op shit, when it’s your good day

“because i’m being nice, here’s some diamond, now, don’t ask me again you little piss baby.”

“shut your trap y/n.”

“or what homeless teletubby, what are you going to do to a god like me?”

“you hang out with technoblade to much.”

Georgenotfound

maybe the least chaotic duo

you guys keep on relaxing and relaxing until the point where you don’t do anything

he barely asks you for anything, but only when it’s really really important, like a house or build

especially when he was building his little cottagecore house, he needed your godly presence to help

“y/n, what should the roof be made of?”

“i suggest brick, it makes it more aestheticy if that makes any sense.”

also barely any drama or tea with you guys

never arguing and never betraying each other is a must

Tubbo

also another least chaotic duo

literally help him with his bee farm, he will (platonically) love you forever

gotta be close to ranboo, that’s the rule

gives him SO much stuff, he’s a precious boi 🙄

also gotta be close to tommy, but not as much unfortunately

you help him pick out things for builds, like what material clashes with another, etc

“do you think that the wool and the netherite blocks look good together y/n?”

“nah, what i suggest is the wool with the gold, it looks perfect.”

sometiems, gotta put him in check because he gets a little ego built up

you definitely yank his horn a little too hard because of your IMMENSE STRENGTH

“OW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT Y/N.”

“calm down sunny, you were just getting a bit over your head a little.”

Tommyinnit

chaotic duo like sapnap

snaps at anyone who annoys you and vice versa

you give him EVERYTHING, obviously except op and creative

he tries to persuade you to do something, but dreamxd wouldn’t allow it, since he is the main boss

“come on y/n, give me op.”

“no tommy, xd will kick my ass.”

“pweaseee.”

“no.”

you would DEFINITELY help him with the Big Innit Hotel, making the whole layout and color palette.

both of you have an intense hatred for ranboo, since he “stole” tubbo away from tommy

Ranboo

least involved in everything

just stay in the tundra and drink some tea, and you’re good for all of your life

helps him get netherite all the time so your boii can get the good stuff 😬

when he mines to get diamonds, he literally prays to you

“y/n, if you’re listening, please give me a 6 vein, i desperately need it for my collection of diamond blocks.”

and THERE IT IS

more than a 6 vein actually, a 12 vein

guess he needs to pray to you more

daily tea sessions, to talk about the good stuff, and NO, and i repeat NO skipping

threatening to flick water on him check ✅

Wilbur Soot

literally you spoil him

not to be angsty, but when he died and lost his last canon life, you revived him instead of Dream

now he’s practically at your knees

like he’s thinks that he owes you, but actually that’s the opposite

he was revived because you were lonely, and wanted your best friend back :(

prays to you when he goes to bed

“hey y/n, hope you’re having a great day, (platonically) love you.”

“love you too mortal.”

sometimes, to be at the peak of godness, you shower upon wilbur as gold to symbolize blessings, like zeus did before

“omg y/n, what are you doing?”

“i’m trying to bless you, shut up bitch.”

just saying, he would make a religion about you :/

Karl Jacobs

omg don’t get me started on this

first, you wouldn’t codone him going back in time

he would definitely forget your name a lot, so that’s why you hated it

“hey karl, how are you doing?”

“i’m sorry, but do i know you?”

ANGST IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

you were definitely the one to push him towards sapnap and quackity

this is also another spoiled boi

give him the entire world while you’re at it pwease

he wants a few diamonds, nope, give him a chest full of them

Quackity

why are there so much chaotic duos in here?

literally chaos times infinity

energy to the max

literally, did you take an energy drink

grants him every wish he can randomly think off

“can i get a bucket with lava and a fish in it?”

“weird choice, but ok man.”

gotta be close to sap and karl or he isn’t your friend anymore /j

helps with las nevadas a lot, and definitely tries to rig the machines so you get money

“hey big q, i got 10,000 dollars.”

“that’s impossible... y/n, did you cheat?”

“nooo 😊”

help him preen his wings, and he goes “I LOVE YOU, MWAH MWAH.” obviously in his mind 🙄

Awesamdude

definitely helps him maintain the prison

you both love setting up red stone contraptions and pistons and all that giz

“hey sam, do you know where the redstone torches are?”

“yeah, there behind the pistons in the back.”

also you helped build the prison, since he could do that by himself

“are you sure that lava wall will work y/n, your calculations seem inaccurate.”

“i’m sure sam, this will add some more security to this goddamn server.”

nerd squared lol

BadBoyHalo

wouldn’t condone the egg

you warned him multiple times to get away from its grasp, but most of the times he’ll decline

“i won’t y/n, the egg is the future.”

he still, even after all the advancements, even after everything, he tries to ask you to join the eggpire

“come on y/n, you’ll like being with us.”

“i don’t wanna be on a stupid egg side, like let me crack the egg, i wanna eat it and turn it into a omelette.”

he doesn’t like that joke :(

but before he discovered the egg, both of you were joint at the hip

sight seeing was a must

languages being thrown around everywhere, since you were the little language muffin

Punz

steals stuff from everyone

hide your stuff, because the punzo-y/n team is unstoppable

definitely they can be really stubborn and indecisive

like one day, he will be like, “i need gold blocks.” and the next, “nevermind, i need netherite actually.”

like hon, stop switching

also anarchy buddies

burning down forests and buildings are your guys’s specialty

when you give him gold when they doesn’t ask, his heart goes brrr and his brain goes, “pog pog, they’re so cool, lets hug them.”

Technoblade

now this is the most deadly duo in the entire Dream Smp

better not piss you guys off 😐

he’s the Blood God, and you’re the God/Goddess/God being of Death

so if some occasion where you need to battle someone, like Techno’s enemies, *clears throat and murmurs Quackity*, you will obviously back your boy up :)

help him with enchanting and potions and he’s set for life

also you got have to be close to the great Philza Minecraft since him and Techno are buddy buddy

anarchy squared

helps with the voices since you have some of your own

“so what you’re saying is that i need to pay attention to them?”

“yeah, when i first learned that the voices were in my head, i tried to ignore them, but that sucked. so what i did was try to distract myself with various tasks, and that sucked.”

“so what do i do, you’re saying that i should listen to them, but how do i do that when they literally shout at me.”

“just embrace it, obviously when they do their little chant of blood for the blood god, you have to ignore them.”

“you suck at advice.”

Philza Minecraft

so since both of you resemble death, him being the Angel of Death and you being the God/Goddess/God being of Death, y’all are fucking best friends, platonic soulmates if you will

death squared

watch out, because if you piss them off, prepare to d-

gotta be close to Ranboo and Techno, and obviously others who he platonically likes

he doesn’t need to ask you for stuff, he’s the fricking Angel of Death, but he will ask you to preen his wings :D

“ow, not there y/n.”

“oh shut up grandpa, let me do it.”

“I’M NOT OLD DUMBASS.”

Dream XD

two gods at once, damn there is so much chaos

left and right, you guys are noticed by everyone, like purrrr

y’all would be in some fancy shit, to show your power

you would get jealous of him hanging out with george

“why are you jealous y/n?”

“you’re hanging out with george to much, hang out with me please :(.”

gifts are a must, even though both of you have access to creative

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buckys-black-dress · 3 years

Text

see through

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

a/n: i dont have much to say other than that it's 1 am and i needed to get this out of my system. chapter 4 of play the game is underway, i promise. also, there will be a pov switch in this fic!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. = POV change!

wc: 4.1k words

[ neighbor!bucky barnes x fem!reader ]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Every Friday night, without fail, you saw the light filter into your apartment.

Notice how you said night?

Yeah, it was almost two in the morning, by the way.

And why was there light coming through the chiffon curtains you had hanging on the rod above your window?

(Great choice on your part, by the way.)

Well, because of your neighbor.

You've seen him a few times, actually. Usually on the street outside your buildings, or just out and about. Never spoke to him, though. He was quiet, kept to himself. Didn't seem very friendly or willing to exchange a greeting if he ever saw you.

But you never took it personally. Maybe he was having a bad day. Every time you saw him.

But that's besides the point. The point right now is that you can see the lights blaring in your room. From the apartment across from yours.

Should it even be possible for light to travel that far? I mean, we don't even live in the same building. You think to yourself as you watch the colors dance in the dark.

You debate getting up and yelling out your window to tell him to shut that shit off or to invest in some blackout curtains. You were tired of sacrificing your sleep every week.

But then you decided against it, because you quite frankly could not be bothered to get up from the warmth of your bed. You'd tough it out for the night, but the next time you saw him, you'd have a few words for him.

The next morning, it was almost ten when you woke up. You didn't have your shift at the coffee shop you worked at until three, so you took your time in making your way out of bed.

You noticed the curtains of your neighbor's apartment were still open, but you could see his figure moving across the room. He was clearly on the phone with someone, and he didn't look too happy. You wondered what could have him so angry at such an early time of the morning. He seemed like a person who could use someone to talk to, someone who he could vent to.

But before you let your thoughts get ahead of you, you turn away from the window, heading back into your kitchen to eat breakfast and get ready for the long day ahead of you.

"Hi, what can I get started for you today?" You ask as brightly as you can muster at the moment. You were halfway through your shift, another three hours until close.

"Uh, just a large black coffee." The gruff voice says, and it takes you a second until you look up and look closely.

It was him.

"O-okay, that'll be $3.27." You say, and he hands you a five dollar note before grumbling,

"Keep the change."

"Thanks, and your name?"

He gives you a look that's asking, 'what the fuck do you need my name for?'

"For the order." You try and salvage your dignity, because it feels like the stare shrunk you to a speck of dust.

"James."

That's all he all but growls before turning back to find a seat.

As your coworker takes over the cash register, you grab the biggest cup and fill it with his desired coffee.

You try to not think about it too much, but the anxiety you feel rising up inside you and just calling his name to give him his coffee feels absolutely ridiculous.

"Are you just gonna stare at the cup or give it to the customer?" The voice of your coworker, Jenna, rings in your ears and you look up at her, snapping out of the trance you were in.

"Sorry, I'm just a little out of it today, I guess."

"Everything alright?" She asks, and you nod.

"I'm fine, it's just... that's my neighbor." You nod your head towards where James is sat, in the corner by the window as he watches the raindrops run down the expanse of the glass.

"The one who doesn't let you sleep?"

"Yeah, but I don't think he'd take it too kindly if I tell him about that. He seems to have a lot on his own plate anyways," You explain, and she just nods.

"Well, that sucks, but you still need ta' give the guy his coffee." Jenna smiles and walks back to what she was doing before.

You gently slide out from your spot behind the counter and walk to his table.

"Here's your coffee, James. Enjoy, and- uh, let me know if you'd like anything else." You tell him while placing the steaming cup in front of him.

He murmurs a thank you that you barely catch, but you don't quite have the time to sit and wait for more of a reaction.

For the next several hours, James sits right where he was. He doesn't do anything in particular, either. He just watches outside, as the rain continues to pelt down on New York City, and as people come and go from where they were.

Eventually, about an hour left until close, you offer another cup of coffee.

"Do you want a refill? On the house." You ask gently, waiting to see if you'll get brushed off again.

"Uh... are you allowed to do stuff like that?" He asks, and you're a bit taken aback at the sudden concern.

"I don't think you should worry yourself too much, James. Free coffee's free coffee." You smile lightly, and grab the cup before filling it up without his confirmation. You could tell he wanted to say yes but didn't want to seem rude.

"You didn't have to..." He grumbles, and you simply shake your head.

"I know, but you've been here a while, and what kind of employee would I be if I let a customer sit here without any sustenance?" Your lips ply into a tiny smirk, trying to get him to loosen up a bit.

He seems so guarded, defensive. Like any moment, he's ready to run if need be, you inspect to yourself.

"You'd just be a regular employee, Y/N." He says, but the way he says your name makes a shiver run down your spine; and you can't tell if it's a good or bad one.

You unconsciously look down at your name tag, pinned to your black apron that's branded with the café's logo.

"Well, I felt like being nice. I hope you can deal." Your voice comes out short, but he knows you mean no harm.

As you walk back to the counter, you see a small smile playing on his lips, but he doesn't allow it to manifest on his face. You take that as a small victory for your last hour of work.

(bucky's pov).・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The girl who works at this café is annoying.

But she's got a nice smile. And she's nice to me, Bucky thinks to himself.

He sips on the new coffee you'd just poured for him, without his consent, he thinks bitterly.

But it was a nice gesture.

Why can't you just take a nice gesture?

Because your brain's been scrambled eggs for 70 years. You don't know what to think about anything these days.

He watches you fiddle with the espresso maker, cleaning it with a rag, which you then dip into a bucket.

You look extremely familiar to him, but he can't exactly pin where he's seen you before.

Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, trying to recall where he'd seen you, but for a moment, he comes up with nothing.

Ever since he's been living back in the real world, he hasn't been outside too much.

He goes on the occasional walk, or goes to the tower to see Steve and Sam.

But other than that, he spends a lot of time in his Brooklyn apartment. He watches movies that Steve suggests, or he invites Steve and Sam over to have beer and watch TV with him.

He hates how lonely it gets, though.

Bucky wishes that he had someone.

Someone who could understand.

And don't get him wrong, he loves Sam and Steve. They fill in the gaps in his days, and they make them better.

Sometimes, thinking about having something to do that day is what makes it. He likes having something to do, something to plan for for when his friends come over.

But it feels like a teeny, tiny part of his life is missing. A person shaped-hole in his heart.

But Bucky doesn't spend too long thinking about it, or it'll send him into a spiral about failure and how he needs to 'push himself to get out there more.'

Or that's what his therapist says.

"Hey, we're about to close, and we usually throw the pastries out at the end of the day. Do you wanna take these home, by any chance?" Your voice rings in his ears, snapping him out of the impending slippery slope of his lack of love life.

He hesitates to answer for a second, looking at the brown paper bag pinched between your fingers.

Bucky can tell you were nervous when you spoke to him. He knew he made you uneasy, and it killed him inside.

He hated that. He just wanted to have a normal conversation with someone. But everyone seems to know who he is.

Who he was.

"Uh, what is it?" He croaks, unsure of what to say at your gesture.

"It's a few cookies and a chocolate croissant."

"Sure, I'll take 'em." Bucky simply answers, watching as you hand the bag over with a soft smile and watches you walk back.

You sweep up the floor and put up all the chairs, except for the one Bucky's sitting on. You leave his table alone, and bid farewell to your coworker who was scheduled to close with you.

Bucky doesn't know what drives him to do it, but he gets up after he sees you walk out the door, and follows you home.

Damn, if you like a girl, you usually ask for her number or somethin'. Not follow her home to make sure she's safe, you idiot. Bucky's inner voice speaks and sometimes, he wishes it would just shut up because he knows he has no game nowadays, but this is all he knows to do.

He realizes the way you're walking is familiar, and not at all of the way he was supposed to be going. That made him feel a little better, less like a creep. He's about half a block behind you, and when you turn onto the same street he lives on, he's really confused.

Did you know he was behind you? Are you trying to play a trick on him?

But before Bucky can speak up or say something, you walk right past his building, and into the one right next to it.

All of a sudden, images of you right on the street in front of your buildings flash through his head. He's seen you because you're his neighbor. Bucky's seen you right there, getting ready to start your run through the neighborhood, or probably on your way to work, now that he's seen where you work.

But he feels like there's somewhere else he's seen you; somewhere familiar.

He shakes his head, wondering why he's so caught up in you. He thought you were beautiful, but he feels a pull to you that he's never felt with anyone else before.

Bucky's hands move to unlock his door, sliding the key in and twisting the lock open.

He enters, staring at his dark apartment. It's moments like this, when he spends a long day alone, that he wishes there was someone.

Someone to come home to, to hug, to kiss, to share dinner with.

Some to fall asleep with at night. Someone to keep the terrors of the dark away.

But there was no one.

And then his mind thought back to you. Your hair, your face, your warm hands that touched his while you passed him the brown paper bag of treats.

Bucky wishes he was man enough to ask you out. Not even that, just to talk to you. Have a normal conversation, to get to know you.

But that wasn't in the cards for him anytime soon, he thinks.

For now, he focuses on taking things one at a time. And right now, all he wanted was a nice, warm shower and to get at least three hours of sleep tonight.

He's in his room, forgoing the lights for now, before he looks out his window.

For a moment, he believes his eyes are playing tricks on him.

There's absolutely no way that you are standing right there, right outside his window.

Well, in your own apartment, of course.

And there's absolutely no way in hell that Bucky is watching you undress right now.

As soon as you pull off your top, Bucky turns around before he could get more than a peek of your black lace bra, and he feels a burn in the pit of his stomach.

He can't tell if it's shame, guilt, or arousal.

(y/n's pov).・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You couldn't stop thinking about James all day.

After yesterday, you wondered why you couldn't shake this feeling about him.

He'd made it quite clear that he's not a people person. Or maybe he just wasn't a you person.

But again, you tried to not take things too personally these days.

Sometimes, you wondered, though, as you looked through your bedroom window to his some nights.

You imagined what it would be like, watching one of those movies with him at night. Making dinner with him. Having coffee in the mornings before work, wondering what he did for a living.

You chastise yourself for your thoughts, thinking that you were crazy for these ideas you were coming up with out of nowhere.

As you pull off your clothes to get ready for bed, you feel the same emptiness fill your heart when your head hits the pillow, and another day has gone by where you're all alone.

The next day, your shift was at ten in the morning so you were up early.

You took your time in rolling out of bed. The warmth of your duvet was holding you down, and you couldn't help take a peek out your window.

You see that the room facing yours is finally housing a body in the bed. In all the time you'd been living across him, you've only seen him on the floor.

You feel a warm flutter at that. Whatever reason led him to actually sleep in the bed last night was, you hope you played a role in it.

You make your way to the café, and although walking in the rain wasn't ideal, you made it, somehow.

You clock in and head to the register, ready to take the millions of orders that come in through the day.

"Hi- oh! Welcome back. What can I get you?" Your tone of voice made it clear you were surprised, but was trying to not let it show.

"Uhm, just the same as yesterday, and... Can I get a chocolate croissant?" Bucky's gruff voice tells you.

You ring him up, wondering if you should say something about him being your neighbor. Although, he didn't seem too keen on looking you in the eye right now, and you wonder if you did something to make him uncomfortable yet again.

He seems to have this issue quite often.

Little do you know, this time, it isn't because of you or anything you did.

Well, nothing you did on purpose.

Nothing you were aware of at the time.

Anyways, you tell James to go take a seat and that you'd be right out with his order.

"Here you go, James," you place the plate and mug on the table, and this time, when you hear him say something, you turn around with furrowed brows.

"Sorry, I didn't catch what you said." You apologize, waiting for him to repeat himself.

"I- nevermind, it was stupid anyways. You probably have to get back to work." He mumbles while looking back down at his pastry.

"James, whatever it is, you can tell me." You offer with a kind smile. "I can come sit with you during my break, if you don't mind?" A hopeful smile crosses your face.

"Uh, I- yes, yeah, that would be nice." He struggles for a moment, but finally nods his head in confirmation along with his words.

"Alright, James. I get off in an hour for my break." You simply tell him with a soft grin, and you can practically feel his eyes burning into you as you walk away.

The blush creeping up your cheeks also stays there until the remainder of your shift.

As you plop in the chair across from James, you inspect him for a moment.

He was attractive, you'll admit.

Okay, he was more than attractive.

"So, James, where are you from?" You ask, your own cup of coffee in front of you on the table.

"Well, I'm Brooklyn born 'nd raised. Never was a time I didn't live here. You?" His lip twitches, looking out the window fondly.

"That's nice. I moved here when I was nine, so I guess I've been here a while. But no matter where I go, there's nowhere like home." You smile.

"There really isn't, huh? This place is irreplaceable." He gives you a crack of another smile, and you find yourself yearning for more from him. Just a tooth, something.

"Well, do you live around here?" You ask, deciding to play coy. You wanted to see what he'd say.

"Uh, yeah, actually. Over on DeKalb and Clinton." He clears his throat, the hint of a smile on his face melting right off.

"Huh, that's so funny. I live on those streets too." You grin, waiting to see his reaction.

"O-Oh really?" James doesn't really know what to say without giving away that he knows where you fucking live.

"Yeah, isn't that funny? Which building?" You're pressing, and you know he knows, but you're having your fun right now.

"T-the uhm... I live in the Washington." He's now making zero eye contact with you, and you're close to breaking.

"What a coincidence! I live in the Oakley!" You're in a fit of giggles when his face drops, you just can't help it anymore.

"James, can I tell you something?" You ask in a coquettish manner.

"Yeah, I suppose you'll tell me even if I say no." He gives a tight smile as a joke.

"I don't wanna sound like a creep, but I knew you lived in the Washington."

"Oh," James releases a breath of relief, "thank God. I knew you lived in the Oakley, but I didn't wanna sound like a stalker either." He says.

You laugh, sliding a hand on top of his resting on the table.

"Y'know, you do this really annoying thing where you leave your movies running on full brightness on your TV, and I can see it through my windows at night." You laugh at the incredulity of the situation.

"Oh... I never even thought of that. I'm sorry, Y/N." He looks genuinely remorseful, and now you feel bad for any bad thought you've had about the man that lives across from you.

"It's alright. No big deal." Your smile does a good job of convincing Bucky that you truly weren't bothered by his actions, but he still felt bad.

"Y'know, maybe I could make it up to you?" He asks, and you feel a blush moving up your chest. "Like, maybe over dinner?" His voice is timid, you can tell by the way he tilts his head down while speaking.

"James," you slide your hand into his this time, your smaller one resting in his large metal one. "I'd love to go out with you sometime."

Before he could react, you stood up from the chair.

"My break's over, but I get off at 3." You lean down and pull a pen from your apron, scribbling your number onto a napkin. "Here."

You walk away before he could say anything, but there's something about him this time that you notice.

He's blushing, too. And he's smiling. A bright, white, blinding smile.

You think of that smile throughout your whole shift, until you see he's still waiting for you when it's time to go.

"So, do you like Chinese or Italian better?" He asks with a crooked smile.

bonus scene:

six months later

You and Bucky are laid across your bed, the TV blaring a movie that neither of you are paying attention to. Your head is resting on his shoulder, leg thrown over both of his, and his hand running through your hair.

"You wanna know somethin' doll?" Bucky asks, and you feel his chest rumble under your head.

"Yeah, everything okay?" You ask while leaning up on your elbow to get a good look at him, trying to gauge his mood.

"Everything's okay, just remembered something." He laughs, his hand moving to hold your jaw in it. You shivered at the touch, but smiled fondly at the action.

"When I first saw you at the coffee shop, that first day when you gave the free coffee and pastries... I followed you home."

Your brows furrow and it's clear that you were confused as to why.

"I wanted to make sure you got home safe, and then it turned out that you lived right next to me. So I went up to my apartment and wondered what I'd done right in a past life to have you live right next to me, and then I saw you lived right across from me." His face was tipped upwards, like he was replaying that night in his head.

"You followed me home just to make sure I was safe?" You asked in disbelief that he did something so nice for you, when at the time you thought he hated you.

"Of course, sweetheart. It was dark out and there 're some real jerks out there, y'know." One corner of his mouth lifts up in a soft smirk. "Didn't want anything to happen to ya."

You lean down and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, appreciating his gesture.

"I really thought you didn't like me back then, so this is a nice little secret you've been hiding from me." You giggle when he pulls you back in for a real kiss.

"Yeah, well, I don't think I could'a hated you if I tried, baby. You're too sweet. And at the time, I was still getting used to being out in the open without being a national security threat." You both laugh lightly, dropping your head down.

A moment passes where you bask in his words, letting them soak in. And then a thought hits you, and you can't help but become more curious. Now you need to know the answer.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, hon." Now Bucky's brows are pulled together, and you reach up and smooth out the wrinkle with your thumb.

"Did you ever... see me doing anything in here? Like, I usually keep the curtains open, and even if they're closed, they're pretty see-through..." You trail off, giving him time to craft his response.

You have a feeling you know the answer, considering how he turns red like a tomato in an instant as words leave your lips.

"I... there was this one time, but I swear, I wasn't trying to peep on you or anything, it was the same day I followed you and I just so happened to look into your window, and you were getting undressed, but I swear, I turned away as soon as I saw what you were doing, baby-" He was rambling, trying to save himself from sounding like a complete creep after all he's just told you.

"Did you like it?" You ask, innocently, but he knew what you were trying to do.

"I-I- You were getting undressed, sweetheart, of course I liked it... are you kidding me?" Bucky's grasping for the words, trying to make you understand.

"Well... we could always recreate it, but maybe in the same apartment this time?" You cock your head to the side, your doe eyes stirring a feeling in his abdomen.

"I think that's an excellent idea, honey." Bucky's hands grasp your waist as you slide on top of his lap. "After all, I am a hands on learner."

fin. i hope you enjoyed!

#bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes reader insert #neighbor!bucky #bucky barnes au

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ptergwen · 3 years

Note

hi uhm could you maybe write a blurb based on this tiktok? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeUVgjaS/

i love your writing!! 🤍

thank you lovely <3 i watched this and then i just stared at my phone and then i had to come here and write it because WOW? we’re going with peter

this is like very suggestive but i changed it a bit

prompt: you’re playing video games with your crush and his friends. you’re sitting on his lap and you lost. you’re bouncing and... you’ll see

“fuck!” mj yells at you, fingers digging into her controller. “i said go left!” “i did go left!” you insist and try to run from the explosion coming your way. “oh my god, no! not your left, my left!” she leads your characters out of the building with her lip between her teeth.

you’re playing one of peter’s and ned’s video games, but you’re not sure which. call of duty or something. all you know is, there’s lots of guns and yelling. also, that you suck at it. mj hasn’t been shy about telling you. she’s on your team, peter and ned versing you two. they’re worlds better because they play literally all the time.

tonight was supposed to be boy’s night until you crashed and brought mj along. ned was slightly annoyed at first. peter didn’t mind one bit, welcoming you in with a big cheesy grin. after talking it over, ned agreed to let you stay on the condition that you joined their game. it’s better with more players, anyway.

“oh, yeah. go a little slower,” mj huffs and continues running to the exit. you’re way behind her. “there’s an option to run, by the way.” “you think i know how to use that?” you retort, shifting on peter’s lap to get a better view of the tv. there wasn’t enough room on the couch, so this was the solution. your idea, for the record.

“peter, can you help me? i have no idea what i’m doing,” you nearly whine. his eyebrows furrowed, he looks from his controller to yours. “uh, yeah. you see those buttons at the top? you just-“ “dude!” ned scolds him. “you’re supposed to help me, not her!” they’re the ones who are trying to blow up you and mj. he sets off a few gunshots for emphasis.

“ok, ok. sorry. i’m on it.” peter starts to chase after you and mj again. he drops his voice to a whisper. “press the triangle, you’ll speed up,” he tells you so ned doesn’t hear. “thanks, pete. you’re really good with your fingers, huh?” you shoot him a small smirk, catching up to mj. he gulps and keeps his eyes glued to the screen.

there’s always been some... tension between you and peter. the truth is, you like him a lot. you want to do more on his lap than just play video games. he likes you times ten, though he’s not thrilled you chose right now to act on it. your constant flirting and moving around is becoming hard to handle. that’s not the only thing becoming hard to handle.

peter must have zoned out because he tunes back in to see game over on the tv. “no, no, no!” mj cries out and slams down her controller. “fuck you guys for real.” it sounds like him and ned won. “good one, dude!” ned reaches over mj to give peter a high five, who halfheartedly reciprocates. “i’m being player one from now on, look what happens!”

you glance at peter over your shoulder through dangerous eyes. “nice job,” you hum, leaning back ever so slightly. “thank you... thanks,” he simply replies. his mind is getting foggy with your body pressed into his like this. “is there a rematch? how does this shit work?” mj demands, scowling at the title card that displays your loss.

“we can go again, if you really want to.” ned beams and stands up from the couch. “let me get a victory snack first, though.” he ventures into the kitchen, mj side eyeing you and peter. “fine, but we’re switching partners. the lovebirds against you and me.” you turn to face her, your hips rutting against peter’s... oh. he prays to every god you don’t feel that.

“don’t call us that. we prefer lovers,” you joke back. “we do?” peter squeaks, earning a curious look from ned in the kitchen. he clears his throat promptly. “i mean, we do. totally. yeah. that was... funny, y/n.” “ok, it’s getting weird,” mj announces, hopping to her feet. “i’m gonna go raid your fridge, thanks. bye.”

once she’s gone, you spin around so you’re face to face with peter. all that freed up space on the couch, yet you’re still in his lap.

“so... that was odd. are you okay?” you wonder, moving so your legs are on either side of him. it’s more comfortable that way. for you, at least.“um, i’m fine. could you maybe just stop doing that?” peter winces and sets his hands on your hips. “doing what? i’m only sitting here.” you tilt your head to the side. you’re either playing dumb or actually oblivious.

“if you mean the flirting, i thought you liked it. i didn’t know i-“ that’s when you finally feel it. or rather, you feel peter. “shit,” you mumble to yourself. peter eases you back a bit with a pained smile. “i’m so sorry. i didn’t even realize i was...” you trail off, putting a hand on his chest to steady yourself. his cheeks burn bright pink.

“no, you’re fine. i’m the one who should be sorry,” peter nervously chuckles and squeezes your hips. “this is probably creepy... and gross. am i freaking you out?” “it’s normal, and you’re not,” you assure him with a smile. your free hand cups one of his warm cheeks, cool in contrast. “you do like the flirting, then?”

“love the flirting,” peter practically purrs at your touch. his grip on you becomes rougher as he’s reminded of his little friend. well, not little. “listen... i’m cool with playing another game,” he starts, eyes locking with your dazzling ones. “unless you wanna help me out. could be fun.” you lick across your lips, ready to go.

“which one’s your room again?”

when ned and mj come back to an empty couch riddled with the smell of musk, they can’t say they’re surprised.

#peter parker #peter parker smut #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland fic

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iceprincessviviane · 3 years

Text

Whispers in the darkness

Paring: Yandere!C!Technoblade x BookwormEnchanter!Female!Reader

Type: Romantic (Technoblade is yandere) Trilogy - part two. (Previous part, next part)

Warnings: swearing, possessivness, yandere, angst, injury, blood, threats, sugestive content, silly jokes created by me.

Summary: Technoblade is trying to convince and adjust Y/N to new situation and himself. Some time has passed, but troubles are showing.

Author's note: Continuation from part one. Insipration from ACOTAR. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes.

Words in red colour are Technoblade's voices.

Words in blue colours are Y/N thoughts.

Three days have passed and Y/N felt better. She was almost lying in bed all day, but she started to fast recovery. All her energy was restored and she could left their room. Technoblade went at adventure in Nether, for some supplies. She slowly went downstairs, hearing the cooking sounds and humming. Of course Phil was standing in the kitchen, preparing something. They both froze for a while. Realization hit her harder, than she expected. He knew... he had to know. Winged man sighed and his shoulders dropped. As he thought, he didn't know what to do.

"I... I noticed that Techno has thing for you, I adviced him conversation or something... when he left two days ago for training I have never expected, that he will come back with you in his arms. I was shocked, afraid and confused." Phil explained slowly.

Y/N bit her lip and hugged herself. He was one of her the most trusted person here, aside with Foolish and Bench Trio.

"Listen, I was with Techno through a lot of shit. He is my friend and I will always be on his side, no matter what. I don't fully support... this kidnapping, but I am still with him." He continued, then took cups of tea and plate with sandwiches. "Hungry?"

Y/N nodded and sat down. He put everything on table and sat too. Everything looked like during her last visit. Phil was living in house in opposite combined with Techno's by bridge.

"So... you won't help me convince him to let me go, right?" She asked with saddness.

"Unfortunetly no. I am not going to be involved in stuff between you and him. But is it that bad? You are not missing anything, Techno is caring about you, here is safe and all the stuff you need." He looked at her.

"I used to be a free person, you know..."

"I am sure, that he will let you go on backyard. On attic, we can set up enchanting place with books and stuff. Sometimes Ranboo is visiting us." Phil was determined to show good sides of current situation.

He didn't want to be manipulative, but for everyone's greater good, was that she had to accept her fate. Technoblade could be rough, when it came to be obedient. He really acted diffrent, since he found his thing for her and now, when Y/N was there, he was calmer and more relaxed. If she would escape, he will for sure track her down and then, everyone which would help, will be in great danger. Technoblade wasn't leaving something behind. Probably whole Smp will be burning. Maybe it was selfish, but Phil didn't want any argues or wars for now. Y/N was eating quietly, thinking about his words. It wasn't that bad for sure. She expected being injured and thrown into cellar or something and actually they didn't even tie her.

"You are being serious with that enchanting place and yard?" She asked quietly.

Phil nodded and smiled to her gently. After eating he took her to the attic, where was some space and shelfes. Immediately her humor improved, they even started to talk about setting up enchanting place. Later this day, Phil left to his house and Y/N was reading on the couch, cover by the blanket, because days here were colder than in main Smp part. Technoblade managed to bring most of her personal stuff here including clothes. She was wearing warm sweater and pants, but still got closer to the fireplace, which was very nice in her opinion. Sun started to go down, she was thinking if Techno will come, Phil said that he sometimes made trips, which lasted days.

Sudden sound of opening door caused her to turned at it's direction. Piglin hybrid stepped inside and smiled to her warm.

"Hi darliIIIAAAAAA!" He screamed and dropped something.

Y/N frowned and stood up. Small ball of fur squeaked and immediately recognized it's owner, it asap ran to her and hid behind her.

"Snowflake!" She screamed and picked up her fox gently, then petted it's head softly.

"It bit me!" Techno growled and sucked his injured finger. "This had to be surprise..."

She sent him warm smile and again sat on the couch. Snowflake snuggle her head into Y/N's chest, she hugged her back.

"Thank you for bringing her here..." She looked at him softly. "It mean a lot to me..."

The Blade smiled proudly and came closer. Fox started to growl, when he approached. Y/N gently petted her.

"It's all right my little one. He isn't that scary as he seems in first take." She smiled at Techno.

After a few minutes small ball of fur calmed and accommodate itself on Y/N's lap and went to sleep. Technoblade quietly sat on couch and looked at them curiously.

"Do you know that I am scary, intimidating and grim huh?" He whispered.

Y/N rolled eyes and looked at him. "Of course I know. I experienced that few days ago."

Silence fell upon them, Technoblade didn't excatly know what to say, this whole situation shloud looked way diffrent, he just didn't predict this whole chase, althought is was fun.

'Make her forget about it.' 'She will understand.' 'Chase was interesting.'

"Phil showed me the attic and mentioned, that there we could make enchanting place. Is that true?" She asked quietly, looking deep into his eyes.

"Yes of course! It's all yours, you can make there your working place." He said and took her hand, then gently rub it with his thumb.

"Really?"

He nodded with honest smile. Y/N hugged him gently, watching out at fox. "Thank you. Also I need a basket and blanket for Snowflake..."

"This isn't a trouble princess."

}*{

Some days passed Y/N was busy with making her workplace. Technoblade helped her, Phil occasionaly showed, but didn't want to interrupt them both. They worked hard with wood, she made enchanting table, because he brought most of her supplies to cottage, being careful and avoided everyone. For now none was looking for her and Techno wished, that this would last the longest, no troubles, no worries, just him and Y/N happy.

Piglin hybrid also brought her notes and books, so Y/N could study again, she was so happy about it, finally could do something useful. When the attic was finally done, she went into their shared bedroom. Deep inside she was still hesitant, when it came to Technoblade, but decided to don't make him angry. Being in tundra wasn't so bad, but also wasn't a paradise. Yes, she was thinking how to get herself from this awkward situation, but hasn't find solution yet.

Immediately Snowflake get up from her basket and sniffed around. Y/N smiled softly, recently her fox was more curious and brave, even tried to play with Techno's fox named Aura.

"Let's go to outside for a while, we both need fresh air."

They went outside, Y/N took a deep breath. Fox immediately jump off and started to run through the snow. She covered herself more by cloak and sit near, watching cute ball of fur playing around. Fresh air let her relaxed more and clean up thoughts. Around were silence, hound was sleeping in special building, sometimes Steve was moving in snow, to find a good position. Around the fence slept more wolfes, guarding the exits. Y/N swallowed slowly, she wasn't able to go through. Unfortunately, Snowflake had another idea, fox fast ran away from yard, jumping in snow and spinning around.

"Snowflake!" Y/N stood up immediately and ran to her. "Come back!"

But little fox puppy didn't want to listen, it ran away even more far. Worrying owner didn't think too much, just found place, where dogs were away and jumped over the fence. One of them woke up and started to bark and howl. Snowflake put her ears back, came back into her owner's arms, curling up. She hugged her tightly.

"Don't do it again, you scared me..." she whispered quietly into it's fur.

Cold wind started to blow and Y/N heard the whole hound howling, it was terrifying. She turned back just to meet Technoblade standing intimidating with sword in his hand.

"Are you trying to escape?" He asked slowly observing her.

"What? No! Snowflake ran away, she got over the fence..." Y/N explained quietly.

"You really think, that I am going to belive in this?" He made one step further, she responed with one step back.

"I am not lying!"

"You better not be lying, because you won't like my punishment, my dear." Technoblade looked deep into her eyes. "If fox is causing troubles, maybe it should disappear?"

Y/N shook her head. "I promise, it won't happen again, please don't hurt her!" She had almost tears in her eyes.

Piglin hybrid nodded slowly and gave her his hand. She took it gently and together came back inside. Silence remained between them, Phil was in his house, busy with books. Y/N took Snowflake upstairs and put in the basket. Fox immediately curled up and went to sleep, she backed into kitchen. Technoblade waited with narrowed eyes, she swallowed hard.

"You broke a rule."

'She wanted to run away from us!' 'She deserve punishment!' 'We won't let her leave the house!'

"I know, but I just wanted to catch Snowflake! You really think, that I would escape without nothing, only in cloak?"

"No, but rule is a rule."

He moved closer, towering at her. Their eyes met, red and y/c. She saw there anger and disbelief, but she didn't do something bad. Technoblade gripped her chin once more, Y/N hissed, when she was forced to look at him.

"Listen Y/N. I really feel diffrent around you, calmer and stable, but that doesn't mean that my true nature disappeared." He said slowly.

"I know, I told you... Snowflake ran away, I just wanted to save her..." a single tear strimmed down at her cheek.

Piglin hybrid moved his hand to wip it out, then cupped her face. Atmosphere changed immediately. Maybe it was warm, which radiated from his body or this gentle touch, but somehow room became hotter. Red crawled at Y/N's cheeks and Technoblade sighed quietly. His thumb has been found on her down lip. Time has frozen, she was looking straight into his eyes, their gaze locked. She grabbed his wirst gently, but he didn't stop.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm admiring. Be quiet."

But when he leaned in and Y/N colsed eyes, pending what will come next, silence distrubed light grunt from the door. They immediately turned heads at this direction. Of course Phil was standing there with awkward face.

"I am assuming, that I am bothering you..."

"Yes." Technoblade's eyes narrowed.

"Of course not. Come in." Y/N said and left Techno's grasp with smile.

}*{

Phil stayed till late hours, they discussed some cases, she left them quite soon, because conversation bored her. Y/N started to work in attic, but when night has fallen, she moved to their bedroom and started to read book. Snowflake laid on her lap, so she could pet it's head slowly. Phil and Techno talked quietly, so it was immpossible to hear anything.

When the door opened, Y/N lifted her sight, piglin hybrid entered into the bedroom. His eyes narrowed, when he spotted cute, little ball of fur, but didn't say anything.

"Talking is over?"

Technoblade nodded and closed the door, she put away book. Snowflake jumped off bed and went straight into her basket, avoiding him at all cost. Y/N sighed quietly and stood up, Techno locked his sight on her posture.

"I am going to take bath. You can go to sleep, if you want."

He blocked her way out, she looked at him with surprise. In one heart beat Technoblade pinned her to the closest wall. Quiet 'welp' left her lips.

"We had a thing, before Phil naughty interrupted us." The Blade whispered with deep voice.

"Did we have?" Y/N asked while looking at him, she tried to act tough.

"Oh yes, we had my dear."

He put left hand on wall near her head and right hand gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. Their eyes met again, confidence faced uncertainty. His touch was more gentle, that she might expect.

"Let myself be clear. You will have to pay, for today's little bad behaviour."

"Wh-what do you mean?" She suttered.

"Let's say... if you don't want me to throw out this little, annoy ball of fur... you will have to kiss me." Technoblade said with deep voice.

Y/N looked at Snowflake peacefuly sleeping at basket and sighed helplessly.

"Do you promise? And never, ever again will threat her?"

"Yes. I always keep my word."

She nodded slowly, red crawled on her cheeks, cupped his face carefuly, hesitated for a moment. Y/N, closing eyes, gently pressed their lips together, in slow, shy kiss. She had to stand on her tiptoes, to reach Technoblade's lips. His hand moved at her waist and pulled her closer and he kissed her back in more confident way.

Y/N was so sweet and her lips so soft, like they were made for him. Piglin hybrid fast took control of the situation. Hand from her chin slipped on neck, to press their lips closer. Y/N made quiet moan, which caused his blood to boil. He smiled through a kiss.

'So good for us.' 'So sweet, so soft.' 'Don't stop, don't stop!'

Voices went feral, their demands and screamings filled his head, in one smooth move Technoblade grabbed her thighs and lifted Y/N up, without breaking the kiss. Now, she slipped hand into pink hair. He muttered with satisfaction, but then she broke away and opened eyes. The Blade snorted, greedy for touch, contact and pressed lips to her neck, kissing slowly.

"Techno!" Y/N winced and grabbed his shoulders.

"Relax princess." He whispered into her skin softly. "It's part of the punishment."

She blushed even at her ears, when he pressed few more kisses, then broke away too. They looked at each other in silence.

"Well, now I think, that it wasn't a punishment for you at all." Technoblade laughed slighty. She shook head with disbelief and helpless, then looked down.

"Oh, don't be so shy, I mean, I like it, but you don't need to be."

"Are you going to put me down?" Y/N asked with impatience.

"Maybe yes... maybe no." He hid head in her neck's crook.

In fact Technoblade just had to chill a little bit. His blood was still boiling, lips were touch starved and hands didn't want to let her go. After a few deep breaths, he gently put her on the floor.

"Thanks you." Y/N giggled softly.

"Go for this bath." The Blade smiled haughty and kissed her forehead.

She nodded, grabbed night clothes and left bedroom. Technoblade was smiling like idiot, when she went out. Feeling in his chest grew only bigger through days, when she was here. Also he wanted show everyone that Y/N is his and only his, he would bite her shoulder or neck, maybe give her golden jewelry, but for now it was pointless. As long, as she wasn't leaving the basement, all of this could come later. Of course Technoblade desired to mark her, but her shyness and innocence were too adorable and entertainment.

}*{

Next week has passed without any serious problems. Technoblade was always in cottage, Phil sticked around lot, so they could spend time together. Usually, they were talking, pair of friends described Y/N their adventures, Phil was telling of far away lands, and she was always listening witn true amazement. When Techno and Y/N were alone, he usually read her books or they just cuddled on couch. Sometimes she was trying to work on attic, but it was quite hard, since piglin hybrid has become clingy and very touch starved. He stole her few kisses during this week, but they weren't so intense as their first kiss. But since yesterday Technoblade has acted like he was always lost in his thoughts. That was something diffrent, so she noticed quite easily.

Y/N was sitting at the table and watching piglin hybrid carefuly. He was making her cup of tea, but silence reminded between them for too long.

"You are taciturn, since yesterday... something happend?" She asked finally.

He smiled and turned back to her with cup of tea. "You are so caring darling." He put the cup on the table.

"That isn't answer of my question..."

"You don't need to worry about it. Everyone has a quiet days, even me." Technoblade grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, it caused Y/N to smile too. She took a sip.

"It taste better than Phil's?"

"Um... I can't tell the diffrence." Y/N shrugged, it tasted good, tea like tea.

"Great." His smile widened and she felt warning twist in her stomach. Something was odd...

"You... are sure, that everything is all right?"

This time, he didn't even bother to answer. Just looked at her and studied her face. Y/N blinked... but suddenly her eyelids became very heavy. Though she was sleeping today well. Fatigue mastered her body, Y/N groaned quietly and put cup down with loud sound.

"Feeling tired?" Technoblade asked slowly.

She lifted her sight at him with little struggle. His face was stern, but something in his eyes... made her shiver inside.

"What... what did you do?"

"Nothing... nothing at all."

Y/N stood up slowly, but she tripped at first step, needed to support herself by table. He squeezed her hand harder and embrece waist, to hold her. She couldn't push him back, all energy went out, her sight found half full cup of tea...

"You bastard..."

Dark laugh left his lips, he lifted her in bride style, like she was like a feather. Technoblade kissed her forehead reassuring.

"I think, you shloud go to sleep my love."

Then, Y/N started to see blurry and finally lost consciousness. She didn't know how long she has been unconscious, but when she woke up, she has seen their shared bedroom. Then felt cold metal around her wrist. Still little tired and probably under the influence of drugs, Y/N tried to move herself from bed. Chain from her wirst was attached to wall and it was pretty long.

'What the hell happend...?'

Y/N didn't want to believe, that Technoblade drugged her... maybe staying here wasn't the best idea... Door opened with quiet noise, causing her, to look at it's direction. Piglin hybrid went inside with tray full of food. She clenched jaw and looked at him with narrowed eyes. If she could, she would throw at him fireballs again.

"Don't even think to get closer." She hissed quietly. "What is this?" She rose her hand with a handcuff.

Technoblade put a tray on table and sighed. Actually he had all his netherite armor on, sword at his belt, then trident and axe on back. Y/N swallowed hard.

"I am going on adventure with Phil... actually it's for supplies..." The Blade said slowly.

"So you chained me?!"

"I don't want to risk anything darling."

"Take it off." Y/N said totally serious.

"I-"

"Take it off!" Tears started to come up into her eyes.

Technoblade didn't even move slighty. He just watched, when she tugged chain couple of times, then sat helpless on the bed and quiet sob left her lips. He immediately came closer and crouch on her level. Despite her protests, Techno grabbed her hands and rub them gently with thumbs.

"I will be back in three, four days. You have food on table and I brought you new books. Chain can reach bathroom."

"Please take the chain off!"

'Music for our ears.' 'Make her stop crying.' 'We already miss her...'

He kissed her forehead, but then stood up and left her room, closing it on a key. Y/N was too shooked to make any move, she pulled her legs closer to chest and hugged them. Loud sob left her lips this time and tears strimming down at her cheeks freely. Snowflake jumped on the bed and snuggled near, to cheer up it's owner, but without any success.

Y/N just couldn't believe, that Technoblade actually did this. She behaved good all the time, didn't even fight his... sudden whims or whishes. He wasn't exactly as people talk about him, he had feelings, goals and persons which he cared about. He was a person, not a weapon. But this... she called fire at her fingers and grabbed the metal. After a few minutes, it didn't make any effect, but she spotted slight purple light on metal.

Enchantments.

Closing eyes, she focused on chain. After a second she had an answer. Mending and Unbreaking. Y/N cursed aloud, without key or magic, there was no way to open it. She was too weak for casting spells. It was made by Phil for sure, Technoblade didn't know enchanting that good... she curled up on bed, trying to find a way out of this horrible situation.

}*{

Ranboo sighed stepping at outisde stairs in Technoblade's basement. He was here so long ago, at least three weeks ago. Moving into mansion took a lot of time and they had to finish filling the rooms. After this, Eret told Foolish, that Y/N is missing, they immediately went to her home, only to find out it was empty and some things were taken. He helped with searching, because Eret and Foolish stated, that she couldn't just leave without a word. A week of no progress caused them to stop. Ranboo saw the true sadness on demi-god's face and he wished he would help. Tommy and Tubbo missed her too and Michael wanted, that Y/N read his tales. Enderman hybrid sighed once more and stepped inside. Main door wasn't locked, none dared to come here and steal something, maybe except Tommy. He would do that without any hesitation.

He needed blaze rods and some honey, to start bee farm for Tubbo. He was in the middle of searching, when heard suspicious nosie from on top. Ranboo looked at celling unsure. Technoblade and Phil were on trip, he know that, because they met in the Nether once in fortress. He knew only one ghost and he wasn't here for sure... Then he heard quiet whimper and sob. Tall teenager swallowed hard and started to head upstairs. The noises were coming from Techno's bedroom, that was really odd. He tried to open door, but it was locked. Looking around, he spotted the key on the nearest shelf, so took it and open door slowly and quietly.

Ranboo almost dropped everything in his hands, when he saw Y/N on floor, chain around her wrist, eyes full of tears, skin more pale than usually. She immediately looked up, her gaze was full of shock and disbelief.

"Y/N?" He knelt near her, look if there were any injures or wounds.

"Ranboo?" She almost cried this words. "What... what are you doing here?"

"I am getting supplies from Techno... and you? For gods sake, Foolish and Eret were looking for you!"

Tears left her eyes, when she heard this words. None has known what exactly happend... telling whole story wasn't a great idea.

"Why there is a chain on your wirst?"

Y/N bit her down lip and looked at him embarrased. This whole story was an absurd, what if he won't believe her?

"Technoblade..." she whispered quietly.

"Why Techno would do that? And Phil, he wouldn't allow it..."

"But he did!" She screamed, clearly with fear in her voice.

Enderman hybrid was confused, this didn't has sense or logic. He sighed slowly and looked at Y/N, no she wasn't lying, so what was the case? What was going on here?

"Let me help you with this..." He took metal into his hands and tried to break it. After few minutes, he grabbed sword, but still, stubborn chain didn't want to let her go.

"It's enchanted... only key or magic can release me... " Y/N explained quietly. "And if I leave... gods help us... Technoblade will be after me."

"But... why? What did you do?" Ranboo asked without even thinking.

"I don't know! This is madness, I just want to get back to home, but they won't allow me." Y/N started to shake and tears strimmed down at her cheeks.

Ranboo hugged her gently, she was watching out to not water his skin or suit too much. He rubbed Y/N's back gently.

"We will need help... to get you out of this I guess."

"No... Technoblade will be after them... please don't tell anyone!"

"But, what about you?" He seemed worried.

"I don't know... I will try to break out, but I don't know when... just please promise me, that you won't tell anyone!"

Ranboo hesitated for a moment. How will she manage to break herself? And how could he be quiet about it? Eret and Foolish are still sad and hopeful or her returning, Michael every night is asking, where is aunt Y/N.

"Right, I won't... but someone will know, now or later."

Y/N sighed, he had right... someone will eventually step inside Technoblade's house and find her... but now there was no better plan.

"Yes, but at least maybe that won't be my close friend... you shloud go, before they see you."

He again hesitated, but after all, hugged her for goodbye, stood up and left. Also put everything as it was when he came. Still he was torn, because, wanted to help, but didn't want to let down Y/N or betrayed Technoblade's trust. Finally he left closing the door carefuly, lost in thoughts.

}*{

As Technoblade promised, he stepped into house exactly four days after leaving. Inside was silence, he had full backpacks and was tired, Phil went to his part, they both needed rest. After put everything in magazine, he went upstairs and entered his shared bedroom. Y/N was sitting under wall, where chain was attached, room didn't changed at all, some things were moved, but nothing odd.

'We didn't see her for such a long time...' 'We are going to hold her whole day.' 'Can't wait to see her again!'

"I'm finally back princess." He hummed and got closer.

She looked at him and stood up slowly, a little bit shaky, she unsure wrapped arms around his waist and closed her eyes.

"Please, never ever again leave me alone here... please." Quiet whisper left Y/N's lips.

Technoblade smiled satisfactorily, then hugged her back and pressed soft kiss on her forehead.

"Will you be obedient now?" He asked cupping her face in hands and wiped out tears.

Y/N nodded almost immediately, Piglin's hybrid smile widened, well that was better than he has expected. He couldn't complain, more things could be complicated, but for now, he wanted her to calm and be nice as she shloud be.

"Good. Let me help you with this." The Blade took gently her wirst and pulled out small, golden key from his pocket, then opened handcuff. Skin where it was, was violated, red abrasions and scabs, his eyes narrowed.

"I will take care of this don't worry."

Y/N sat on bed and looked as he put away his cape, weapons and grabbed bandages, then cover injuries with it.

"Thanks..." she said after everything was done.

"Now I am going to take off my armor, then maybe bath. If you want... you can go downstairs or help me."

Y/N looked at him with a hesitation. They together started to undo Technoblade's armor, after a while he ended looking at her, when she was patiently helping. It took a moment, netherite armor was heavy and parts were big, but after everything was done The Blade hugged her tightly.

"I missed you sweetheart..." he whispered into her ear. "I'm glad, that we are on good terms now."

Y/N bit her lip, most important thing was, that they couldn't know, that Ranboo was here. This made her anxious, poor boy, wouldn't have chances with Technoblade...

"I missed you too." She smiled gently and pressed shy kiss to his cheek.

Night has fallen quickly, piglin hybrid was napping a lot after bath and Y/N finally could go to the attic or kitchen, so she spent time mostly there. Working and making herself her favourite meal. When she entered the shared bedroom, Technoblade was sitting on bed shirtless and taking care of his sword, he lifted his eyes in her.

"Come in."

Y/N closed door and walked few steps forward, this view reminded her, that actually she had trident with her, when got kidnapped. Where it could be now?

"Technoblade..."

"Yes sweetheart?"

"When we met in forest, I had trident with myself... what happend with it?"

Piglin hybrid stopped and put sword away, then stood up. She swallowed hard, maybe it wasn't a good idea...

"Why do you want to know?"

"Trident is important thing for enchanters... and this was my only one. I also spent a lot of time searching for it and enchanting it..." Y/N said honestly.

"It's safe in the cellar." He got closer to her and smiled gently.

She nodded and let him hug her, then wrapped her arms around his waist. Technoblade placed hand on her neck, kiss was slow and gentle. Piglin hybrid smiled after breaking out. Inside, Y/N sighed with relief, he didn't noticed, that Ranboo was here.

She let her guard down in vain. The Blade's gentle touch fast, became inescapable grasp on her throat, Y/N pupils widened immediately. Tried to pull him out, but that was only a weak try.

"You think, that I am stupid or blind?" He asked, then lifted her up, still holding her throat, air started to go out and didn't come back.

Y/N tried to kick him of, but again that was only a weak try, even when he was tired. She grabbed his wrist and trying to push off his hand, only to take breath.

"After a whole week, you just casualy asking me about your trident huh?" His eyes narrowed looking at her reaction.

'Grip her harder!' 'Make her cry and scream!' 'Show, who is in charge here!'

Voices again went feral, but this time they demanded violence and wildness. His sight almost became red and ears was full of noise.

"Techno!" Y/N whispered quietly, fighting to stay focused.

"Apologize and everything will be all right."

"Please..." Tears started to strimming down at her cheeks, she became weak.

He shook his head. "That's not how you apologize. Just say that you are sorry for being dirty, little girl, forgive me."

"I... am sorry... for being... dirty little girl. Please forgive... me." Words slowly left Y/N' lips.

Technoblade smiled with satisfaction, then just let her go. Y/N' body hit hard the floor, she hissed at sudden pain and looked up at male. He grabbed her chin, forcing her to stay like this, on knees.

"I hate do it to you. I really do. Please promise me, that you will be good, obedient, little girl."

Graps on her chin hardened, Y/N nodded almost immediately. After this, she had enough, hear pounded so fast, eyes full of tears.

"It's late, let's go to sleep princess." He left her chin and went straight into the bed.

She stood up shaky and quietly, then grabbed her night clothes and went into bathroom. When came back, Technoblade is sleeping peacefuly on his side. Y/N without any distrubing noise, snuggled into bed and turned her back at him. She couldn't sleep at all, just laying there and thinking. After today for sure her mind changed and situation seemed to be horrible and without exit.

The mattress sagged under the weight of Technoblade, when he changed his position. She immediately froze, again he put an arm around her waits and his head right behind her's. Y/N swallowed her tears in silence.

}*{

Couple of days have passed and Y/N became much more shy and quiet. Technoblade usually held her around, but when not, she was in attic working or reading books. Piglin hybrid was satisfied with her behavior, showing his affection and caring way.

It was almost an evening, Phil was working on supper, Technoblade and Y/N were sitting on couch, he held her hand and read ancient poem with shinning eyes. Winged man couldn't resist to smile, while was hearing it.

Everything became much calmer. Well it ended, when Ranboo stormed into cottage, heavy breathing, burns on his face from tears and he was in full netherite armor.

"I am sorry! Please forgive me..."

#c!techno x you #c!technoblade x you #dsmp fandom #dream smp #c!technoblade x reader #c!techno #yandere dream smp x you #yandere technoblade x reader #yandere dream smp x reader #yandere dream smp #c!yandere!technoblade #c!yandere!technoblade x reader

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jeontaeil-archived · 3 years

Text

Turn Right Onto Oh Shit Avenue //

~ for @renhyucks "The First" collab ~

Pairing: Haechan x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut, Crack, Non-Idol AU

Words: 2.27+

Warnings: 18+ content, Read at your own discretion

Your first road trip with your boyfriend Haechan was simply unforgettable.

You were out on a journey with no destination and that decision was proving to be worse than you thought. After getting on the path that you were on for four hours straight, Haechan suggested that you get off the highway and detour to a small little off-road lane. At first, the daring exit seemed promising. But before you knew it, you had driven over a sharp stone, thereby puncturing not only your front tire but also the back tire adjacent to it. Having only one spare, there was no way you could make the repair. To add to your misery, when Haechan attempted to call roadside assistance, he was unable to do so as there was no cell service. The only way you’d be able to get some help was if you went back to the main road. However, neither of you were willing to leave the car behind - even though you knew that no one would try and steal a broken down car - and so, after a competitive round of rock-paper-scissors, it was decided that Haechan would make the trip back to the highway on foot underneath the blistering midday sun while you sat in the car, chilling peacefully in the ac.

It took him quite a while to return. He came bearing good news. A tow truck would arrive at your location in about two to three hours. Until then, all you both needed to do was sit tight and try not to panic in the lifeless location that you were stranded in. That was easier said than done.

There wasn’t much of a view beyond the windows. Just miles and miles of dull, dead grass. Not having much to do other than sit idle, Haechan grew bored quickly. He turned to you with a stoic expression. “Wanna fuck?”

You scoffed at his ridiculous suggestion. “In the middle of nowhere? Umm, absolutely not,” you answered, earning a whine from him. “The fact that there’s no one here makes it like ten times more ideal. There’s no chance of us getting caught,” he urged. You rolled your eyes even though he had a point. “Still, I didn’t bring any condoms.”

Haechan narrowed his eyes at you. “When I suggested that we go on a road trip you should’ve known that car sex was included. I shouldn’t have had to explicitly state it.”

Was he being serious? If you guys hadn’t made this stupid detour and were still driving along the highway, was he going to pull over and bone you while unsuspecting civilians drove past you both? Or worse, would he book a room at some cheap hotel for twenty-something minutes of undeniable pleasure?

“Well too bad for you then,” you chided, crossing your arms. “If it was a part of your plan, you should’ve prepared better.”

Haechan threw his hands up. You were unbelievable. He never thought he’d see the day when you refused sex simply because you had no protection. “I can always pull out you know.”

You laughed sarcastically, though you actually found his words genuinely humorous. “I didn’t wanna be the one to tell you this, but your pull out game sucks ass Hyuck.”

Haechan gasped dramatically at your accusation, taking full offence. “Aren’t you the one who likes it messy? How can I not be messy if half-ass my pull out game?”

You raised your brows in a false sense of surprise. “So you’re telling me that you fake it then?”

“I don’t fake it. I just do it on purpose,” he corrects. You nodded, not believing him. “Oh really?”

“I could always prove it to you,” he presented triumphantly. You smirked. “Okay fine. Let’s fuck. but you can’t pull out and jerk yourself off. Otherwise, it won’t count.”

Haechan smiled and crashed his lips onto yours, pushing your seat back so that he could hover on top of you. He spread your legs apart, settling in between them and slipped his hand under your shirt, drawing small circles into your side. You tugged at his shirt, urging him to take it off. He was quick to do so, throwing the material in the back seat. Haechan peeled your shorts down your legs, bringing his hands to your clothed clit. You bucked your hips against his fingers, gasping into his mouth. Haechan took this as a chance to let his tongue run over yours. He squeezed your breast over your bra and pushed the flimsy fabric up to your neck. You fumbled with his pants, managing to grab his partially hardened cock. Haechan hummed and pushed his pants down all the way, letting his member spring free. You licked your lips in anticipation, playing with his tip. Haechan pushed your panties to the side and rubbed his tip along your plump folds. You held onto his arms when he finally pushed into you. He set a steady pace, rocking his hips into you comfortably. Your head fell back against the cool leather of the seat, legs spreading wider for him to go deeper. With one hand on your shoulder and the other on your thigh, Haechan kept his eyes glued to your cunt. He bit his lip, seething at how warm and tight your walls were. You began rubbing your clit, impatient to reach your climax. Haechan didn’t mind. In fact, he fucked you faster, pulling your body down the seat and throwing your legs over his shoulder. He held onto the headrest to maintain his momentum. Loud moans left your gaping mouth. The usually talkative Haechan said nothing, concentrating solely on his approaching high. You were the first to cum, walls clenching around his member. Haechan groaned as he felt your arousal gush down your walls, slicking up his cock. Gripping your thighs, he started rutting himself into you, ignoring your cries when the sensitivity started to settle into. Keeping your condition in mind, he hissed and kept going, right until he was about to nut.

An amused chuckle left you as he pulled out and haphazardly emptied himself over your pussy. You wrapped your fingers around him and stroked his length, milking him dry of every last drop.

“Does that count,” he asked, pulling his pants back up. He handed you a tissue to clean yourself up. “It barely makes the cut,” you replied, straightening yourself up again. Haechan snickered. “Just admit that you like it messy and we both win.”

About an hour into your wait for the tow truck, another disaster took place. The car’s battery gave out, leaving you to slow bake in the intense heat. Haechan had it easier, leisurely, splaying in his seat with his shirt off. You figured you could do the same, but there was no way of knowing when the towers would show up. Not wanting to waste the little amount of cool air in the car, Haechan forbade you from cracking the windows open. All you could do was sit and fan your face with the car’s insurance papers.

Almost a century later, a loud horn sounded from behind you on the road, startling you both. With a glance in the rearview mirror, you realised it was the towing people. Haechan scrambled to pull his shirt on and got out of the car, wincing as he shielded his eyes from the sun.

You watched Haechan talk to them from the window. He turned to you, motioning you to sit tight. After a while, They pulled your car up into the back of their truck and offered to take you back to their garage from where you both could book a cab and return to the city.

Since there was no space up front, they let you sit in your car, popping the windows open so that you wouldn’t die of suffocation. When the truck began moving, you were finally able to let out a breath of relief. It was still considerably hot out. But the sharp wind that hit your face was incredibly refreshing. Haechan’s once sweat matted hair was now fluffy and dry. Both of you were at ease, feeling grateful to have escaped that dreaded off-road where not a single soul was present. It was nice to be around life again.

It took some time but you eventually reached the garage in one piece. After collecting all your essentials from the car, you both headed out to a small diner nearby to recharge yourselves with some food and beverages. It was quiet between you, for the most part, both of you were equally exhausted from all the long and tedious travelling. It was safe to say that you’d lived out enough of your road trip fantasies for now.

After paying for your food, Haechan took out his phone, ready to book a cab. That’s the exact moment he realised that his phone was out of battery. A look of horror struck on his face. You cursed in frustration and pulled out your own phone. Luckily, it still had some charge, though barely surviving. Much to your dismay, however, you didn’t have a cab booking app and you knew downloading one would take ages. Still, you had to try.

As you had assumed, your phone ended up dying during your wait. Haechan was going to cry. Knowing that you both would be in the car for the majority of your trip, neither of you had brought your chargers. There was one back in the car but you couldn’t use it. Haechan was on the verge of tears. He had no idea what to do and neither did you.

“Should we just hitchhike?” Haechan stared at you blankly and shrugged. “Do we have any other choice?” You traced the rim of your cup, letting out a tired sigh. “Maybe we can spend the night at some motel and wait for our car to get fixed. We’ll have to come back to pick it up anyway so why not just stay till it’s ready?”

Haechan couldn’t argue with that. A waitress informed you of a cheap motel around the block. You both set out on foot, reaching it in no time. The building wasn’t too impressive. But it wasn’t like either of you were expecting much out of it anyways. You just wanted to lay on a soft bed and take a shower. You couldn’t stand how sticky and dewy your skin had gotten.

After booking a room, you both burst in through the door and headed straight for the bathroom. “Are we going in together,” Haechan asked when he saw you peeling your shirt off? You slipped behind the shower curtain and turned on the water without answering him. He got the memo and mimicked your actions before joining you in the small space. Leaning against his chest, you closed your eyes, letting the cool water cascade down your body. Haechan wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I can’t believe this is what our trip led to,” you spoke, snickering to yourself. Haechan scoffed. “At least we’ll never forget it.” You turned around, throwing your arms around his neck. “Never in a million years.” Haechan smiled at you, leaning forward to press a quick kiss on your lips. Pulling him closer, you kept his lips on yours a bit longer, not wanting it to end just quite yet. Haechan stumbled back towards the wall, smirking as things started to escalate. You could feel his member beginning to harden up. Haechan let out a choked moan when you took a hold of his length, pumping it with vigour. His fingers found your clit, rubbing quick circles into it. “Fuck, turn around,” Haechan voiced, switching places with you. He pulled your hips back, bringing his tip to your entrance. Pressing your face to the cool bathroom wall, you moaned as he stretched you out with his cock. Haechan gradually brought himself to a steady pace, grunting in delight. Your head fell back, breathy moans filling the expanse of the small bathroom. This was the perfect way to destress after your terrible day.

You guys had quite a lot of fun in that motel room. Two times in the shower and once on the bed. Now, you two laid next to each other, naked and completely drained. Haechan giggled at the ticklish sensation of your fingers drawing shapes on his chest. You were cuddled up into his side, leg thrown over his lap underneath the covers. Both of you were seconds away from falling asleep.

“You know what y/n,” Haechan whispered, not wanting to disturb the peaceful ambience of the room. You hummed, looking up at him. “I think we should go trekking.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his ridiculous idea. “After today I don’t think we should ever leave the house unsupervised,” you retorted. Haechan shook his head. “Just think about it. We get lost in the mountains and get a chance to see life through Tarzan’s eyes.” He sounded fascinated by the thought. You rolled your eyes. “Shut up and go to sleep. You’re going crazy.” Haechan groaned. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s sleep.”

He turned on his side, facing you. Snuggling deeper into him, you wrapped your arm around his hip, sighing into his neck while closing your eyes. His gentle and calm breaths were like a silent lullaby, helping you drift off. Just before you blanked out, Haechan gasped. “What is it now,” you asked, ready to kick him if he said something stupid? “I think I left our keys at home.”

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ceruleanchillin · 3 years

Text

Honeymoon Headcanons: Mayans Edition

Characters: Angel, Coco, EZ x F!Reader

Miami (Angel)

It wasn’t difficult at all to decide where the two of you would take your honeymoon. When you weren’t gonna be naked, Angel wanted you in sundresses and bikinis. You wanted him in linen shirts, and to feel him up in a club. Couple that with you both wanting a tropical environment, and Miami it is.

Angel letting you handle the accommodations, because you seem to know more about what you wanna see/where you wanna go than he does. He only cares about a bed and shower for when he’s not taking you in the inappropriate places. He just hands over the cash, though he complains about his hurt wallet.

Angel hard as a rock when he sees your new name on your plane ticket.

The two of you nearly missing your flight because your husband needs to “show his wife he loves her”.

You babying him on the flight, because Angel has never flown anywhere before.

“Mami, it’s perfectly valid to feel like a flying toaster can’t safely get you anywhere but a casket. Which they can’t even put you in, because you’ll be everywhere!”

Cue you distracting him with kisses and dirty words in his ear, which gets you initiated into the Mile High Club

Barely making it into the cute little condo before the two of you are at it again, collapsing in the late hours to jet lag and mutual satisfaction.

Your first official day is spent dragging Angel around the humid streets. Knowing he stresses easily if you plan things too tightly, and wanting to wing it yourself. It’s surprising how well you to fit in, it almost feels like home.

Angel switching from being jealous, because your tiny cotton sundress is attracting more than just his attention, to him kissing all over your dewy skin because so much of it is visible.

You getting as jealous as Angel, because it seems like each place you drag him to has openly interested ladies. It’s the white linen shirt that he won’t fully button no matter how many times you try to make him.

Angel basking in the attention, and even playing it up to force you to be the one to initiate inappropriate public sex.

Smirking when you break after a woman pays for his (and unintentionally yours) order at a small cafe you stepped into and you snap and drag him to a hidden place.

“I only love you querida, mi alma.” he whispers in your ear when he bottoms out inside you.

You two are a beautiful couple. Photogenic as all hell. Alone, neither of you have a problem attracting interest, but together, you make people want to be seen around you. That’s why you have no problem club hopping to all the exclusive places.

Angel taking photos and videos of you dancing because he’s so enthralled. He can’t wait to show your kids one day when they ask why he fell for you, and he explains how full of life you are.

Getting enough liquor in Angel to get him dance somewhere away from the club, especially since he (lies) and says he can’t.

You and Angel competing to see who can get the most people to buy your drinks + the two of you losing track because you both get drunk.

A quickie in the coatroom is the prize, Angel fucking you to the hypnotic beat.

Spending a few hours apart the following day, only to still keep texting and FaceTiming each other until you met up, touch starved, at a small restaurant.

Deciding to spend the rest of the day at your Airbnb laid up under each other after Angel scores weed. Teasing Angel about his monetary complaints when you spend all night enjoying the small backyard pool.

Angel thanking God for getting an adventure loving woman as his soulmate when you wake him up the next afternoon to inform him you rented jet skis for the day.

You being impressed when, while jet skiing, Angel silver tongues your way into an invitation to a nearby yacht party out of the host.

FaceTiming Gilly to make him jealous that you two are doing Hookah and drinking Casamigos in a hot tub.

Angel ramping up the mockery when EZ and Coco appear on screen, attracted by Gilly’s whining. Everyone looking overworked and salty, while you and Angel are living your best non-sober lives.

Slipping away from the party to one of the rooms on the boat, because once again, you and Angel never know when to stop teasing each other before it ends up in sex.

Feeling bold enough to suggest that since Angel’s been documenting so much of the trip, that maybe he should film this too.

The aftermath being a surprisingly sweet series of kisses and confessions where the two of you express how thankful you are to have found each other. How you can’t wait to build a forever together.

Marfa + Roswell (Coco)

No one knew how you got Coco to agree to travel for your honeymoon until you finally revealed where you were going. Splitting a week between Marfa and Roswell.

You and Coco are that “weird” conspiracy, incense, and weed couple, so it makes sense.

Giving Coco an edible before you leave, because like Angel, he doesn’t fuck with air travel like that.

“They got me with that bullshit in the military, but that was out of my control. You askin’ a lot right now, you’re lucky you’re cute mujer.”

Coco getting progressively handsy during the flight as the edible hits. Eventually, you stop fake-fighting his neck kisses and forward touches.

Also like Angel in that he’s unafraid to become a member of the Mile High Club.

The ride from the El Paso airport, to the car rental place, to Marfa takes far longer than Coco would like.

He’s used to long stretches of trip on his bike, and when you notice him becoming antsy, you distract him with interesting facts about Marfa.

The entire time, Coco can’t help but think that you’re the perfect road trip co-pilot, only to realize he actually meant his life in general now.

Coco proud as hell when you fall in love with his accommodations choice like he did. The colorful airstream trailers of the El Cosmico hotel are the two of you through and through.

You both trying to be responsible adults and refresh after travel, but continuing to get lost in each other during the whole process.

Shower sex -> Making out while drying off -> Touching while searching through your bags for something to wear -> bed sex -> repeat

Looking thoroughly mauled when you finally manage to get Coco off of you and into the car in search of food the next afternoon.

Coco being happy you can’t cover up due to the heat, while you wonder what superpower he and his boys have that let them wear flannel and long sleeves in the heat.

Dragging Coco to a cute cafe you saw on instagram, and him knowing, by the hipster design of it, that his wallet is about to cry.

Stealing food from his plate, and laughing at him sucking his teeth and whining when he catches you.

“You’re stuck with me forever now Johnny sooo….get used to this.”

“Small price to pay for that I guess.”

Finding small shops to go to and being Siamese twins in every one. Coco showing he has good taste in a lot of things one might think he wouldn’t. Him opening up his wallet at everything you 'ooh' and 'aww' at. He can’t help it, he likes you happy, and your kisses and adoring looks are addicting.

For almost everything you get, Letty gets something too. Neither of you wants that tantrum when you get back.

You fighting yourself to avoid the art supply store, and Coco not having it.

“I have so many supplies already, it’s an addiction at this point.”

“So? Get some more. It’s our week, we shouldn’t stress about shit.”

Coco bragging on your talents and successes to the art shop cashier when you checkout.

“Cocoooo.” you murmur hiding your face in his shoulder, arms around his waist.

“Don’t be shy ma, you’re fucking amazing. I love your skills.”

Cue the cashier swooning at the two of you.

Finding unique liquor stores and getting tipsy on samples. It becomes twice as fun when locals, and other tourists alike, start discussing the Marfa lights with you, and you and Coco impress everyone with your ideas.

Being invited to a bonfire smoke session with the other El Cosmico guests when you get back.

Sketching Coco by the firelight, because he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in that moment, and now he’s officially yours.

The sex being on another level of intimate that night, because all day you and Coco have been engaging in your respective love languages, and it culminates in mutual need for each other.

The drive to Roswell being more tolerable for Coco, but he still misses his bike. Your excitement about AlienFest is so palpable however, he quickly forgets.

Your hotel being more conventional, but the people you meet making up for it. Finally, you and Coco aren’t the weirdest ones in the room.

Taking the time before the festival starts to check in with friends and family and accumulate odd souvenirs for them. You believe Coco is intentionally getting them stuff they’ll hate.

“Taza won’t wear that baby, he has better taste in jewelry than UFO earrings.”

“Ok, but can he bitch about us not getting him anything? Plus, you can guilt anyone into anything.”

Doing cute edible pastries at the festival.

“You know Aliens are demons right? Jack Parsons and L. Ron Hubbard were doing summoning rituals in the Mojave in 1946, and Roswell was the following year.”

“Word?…Shit. Tell me that again when we’re not rolling. I wanna read about it………you’re so smart mami.”

Coco realizing between every snack stop, every dance he shares with you, every trinket you pick up, and every little conspiracy tidbit you share, that you’re his wife now. That the peace he’s been feeling all week, that he thought he’d never have, is going to be his new normal.

New Orleans (EZ)

You and EZ both enjoy engaging with history and culture, and felt that your honeymoon should be built off of your shared interests. During your meticulous wedding planning, it was decided New Orleans would be the honeymoon destination. It didn’t hurt that you missed your southern roots too, even if you weren’t from New Orleans.

Traveling with EZ is a dream considering you’re both pretty organized, together people. He’s not afraid of flying, but you’re always a little nervous.

EZ being Best Husband™️ and soothing even the most minor of your stresses by turning your attention to the excitement of your trip and your new relationship status.

Teasing EZ in-flight won’t get you Mile High Club initiated, because he finds it much more entertaining to punish you by letting you work the both of you up, and making you stay that way for the duration of the flight. He’s got enough will power to suffer through it, because your soft whines make it worth it.

The airbnb is everything it was promised to be, and you’d appreciate that later, but all you can think of is your husband when you step through the door. That’s the other half of why EZ likes to leave you waiting. Your aggression and exclusive desire for him gets, and keeps, him hard.

It rains the following day, which is just as well, because neither of you are quite ready to stop physically expressing your love for each other. The day consists of ordering food, falling out of your clothes and onto each other, separating to read, falling back on each other, and quick naps.

Angel sending mocking texts in your Reyes group about how you’re trying to turn his brother bamma like you, only to stop when you threaten him with no souvenirs.

EZ and you taking responsibility for your own tour because let’s face it, you both know exactly what you want to see, and can plan a more satisfying tour for the both of you. You take turns deciding where to go next.

When it’s his turn, EZ picks an art museum, and can’t quit smiling about it. You think it’s because he picked a place he really wanted to go to.

“Babe, I have a surprise for you.”

“What?” your excitement always makes EZ’s heart race with his own.

He hands you the guide brochure he picked up at the door, folded to the section he wants you to look at.

“Faith Ringgold exhibit?!”

He hums and nods, grunting when you knock into him with a hug.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I love you.” you look up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears and he just kisses you, afraid he’ll cry if he says anything.

The two of you avoid the tourist trap spots for lunch and find a cute family owned cafe. You order for the both of you based on what you know about southern cuisine and both of your tastes.

You love watching EZ fall in love with the food as he keeps asking “Can you make this?” about everything he eats.

The two of you walking through the Garden District in the evening. Hands swinging between you with no plans but to admire the beautiful homes and foliage.

EZ noting how awestruck you are, and you describing what you love about the historic, towering homes.

He catches that when you describe what your dream home in the area would be, he and your future children are mentioned frequently, and it makes butterflies dance in his stomach. He can picture your family in the yards around him.

The two of you almost make it back to your Airbnb, but give into your baser urges after all the domestic conversation. EZ pulls you into an alley for a quickie, the two of you fighting to silence the other’s vocal expression.

You teasing EZ after that he’s more like his brother than he thinks. Him teasing back the two of you would’ve been caught and arrested if he was like Angel.

The following day is relaxed and less planned. The both of you getting thoughtful gifts for each member of your family, blood and otherwise. EZ scores major points for the gifts he suggests for your mom and dad, and you kind of want to jump him again.

EZ is glad you’re impressed, but it’s nothing to him. It all comes naturally because he loves you so much, and refuses to be anything other than the husband he knows you deserve.

AN:

I didn’t want to add this, cuz I wanted to end on a sweet note, but you just know Angel would accidentally send that vid to one of his boys.

Personally, I lose it for shit like this. Anything domestic in writings is my jam, so I decided to make these headcanons.

- Fun fact: Jet Ski is kind of like Bandaid in that it’s become the generic term for “personal water vehicles”, but it’s actually a specific brand’s name for their PWVs. I learned this while writing this enjoy💀.

#mayans mc #mayans imagine #angel reyes #angel reyes x reader #coco cruz #coco cruz x reader #ez reyes #ez reyes x reader #reader insert #angel reyes imagine #coco cruz imagine #ez reyes imagine

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