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#my brain still thinks of him as able to spell and speak ok which i know probably isn't canon
olliesneweyes · 14 days
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okay so this MAY be where the "aggressive tendencies" came from but i think that. this is not a valid reason to say he has aggressive tendencies especially w all the neglect and shit??? like ok yeah the guard was bleeding or whatever but. this was probably the first thing he's had in days (upon rereading he attacked the guard for a single piece of bread which is probably the first thing he had the chance to eat that wasnt literal dog food since he got locked in the kennel) and he's being treated like a dog. he's gonna be on edge what are you expecting?? (also the fact the staff only know his name because HE HAD A COLLAR AROUND HIS NECK???)
also it actually is canon that his education was super extremely limited and his vocabulary was expanded by talking to the kids from a village around the place he escaped to
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also the way he's constantly referred to as ada's "accessory" in canon makes me SO ill (/neg) like
YEAH...........
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honeykyeom · 4 months
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white noise / track 3: ghosts (teaser)
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pairing: lee seokmin x afab! reader
series summary: your best friend seokmin has always been there for you. after a particularly rough heartbreak, you find out he's there for you in more ways than just one.
series notes: uni!au, best friends to lovers, friends with benefits, kpop 97 line antics and shenanigans (specifically seventeen & loona), 18+ (smut is outlined/warned beforehand)
teaser notes: suggestive kinda but no smut, seokmin is a SIMP, two idiots being idiots tbh and there's absolutely no way this could go wrong!!
teaser wc: ~900 words
a/n: heeey...... hey... how ya'll doin? yeah i never thought i would be far enough into writing that i could ACTUALLY post a teaser for the next track.. shoutout to my accountability buddy @smileysuh, ur the best babe. wouldn't want anyone else to cheer for my maybe 800 words a day lol. also congrats to @bitchlessdino my bb i can't wait to see you walk down the aisle so take this lil treat as a token of my love ♡ also pspspspsps @onlyseokmins (love u wife)
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If you had told Seokmin that he would be in the position that he’s currently in, he’d think you’re full of shit.
But here he was, sinking into your sectional as you grind on his lap and making his head spin with the ease in which you pull at his roots. Seokmin keeps telling himself it’s a fantasy, one of his many recurring dreams where he’s finally with you, the person he’s been in love with for the past two years. He repeats it like a mantra, to will himself it’s all in his head until it’s something he can no longer deny when a moan leaves your lips, sounding more ethereal than any dream he’s ever had.
Seokmin’s lips slot between yours perfectly, his tongue gracing your bottom lip. Your mewls ring like bells in his ears, sweet and inviting–he can’t help but smile into your kiss. He’s determined to continue hearing your noises, his nerves firing against every logical thought in his brain.
The kitchen counter of your humble apartment is littered with chips, stray alcohol & red solo cups. Neither of you pay it any mind though, too preoccupied with the present moment as Seokmin’s hands graze your lower back and you straddle his hips, your bodies sinking further into the soft fabric of your sectional. 
Seokmin’s lips chase yours when you pull away from him, not wanting to lose your warmth. He’s completely dazed as you view him from above, eyes glazed over in lust and desire. You giggle, bringing your hand to his chin and supporting his head to keep his eyes on you. 
“Are you still with me, baby?” 
He blacks out at the pet name–his brain short-circuiting at the way your breath warms his skin as you speak, only getting enough energy to respond with a soft yes as Seokmin watches you smile at him.
It’s baffling how you have him under your spell and you’re oblivious to that fact. 
Seokmin slowly comes down from his high of the past 20 minutes–registering the words that you’re speaking to him.
“We need to talk.”
“About?”
“This…” you take a pause, your thumb caressing the soft skin of his chin as you focus on the oceans of brown in Seokmin’s eyes before you continue. “Us.”
Seokmin quickly sobers up, his hands removing themselves from your waist but laying purchase on your thighs. He tries his hardest to keep his composure–you’ve always been able to read him like a book, better than anyone else in his life. You were able to capture every tell with ease, down to a small eye twitch or throat itch. Knowing this, he finds it hard to believe you’re unaware of his feelings for you–the immediate red shade of his ears appearing when he’s in your presence.
‘Breathe’, he tells himself. He does just that before focusing back to the present moment, with you, instead of stuck in his own thoughts.
“Okay. What about us?”
“We need to establish some ground rules.” You take a quick pause, brief, but enough for Seokmin to notice the small drop of sweat growing on the tip of your eyebrow. “Just so we’re on the same page.”
“Ok then. Rule number 1?”
“This stays between us. Can’t tell the rest of the group.”
“Ok… Seems fair enough.. Rule 2?”
“No unusual PDA.”
Seokmin retorts with a small pout, “So I can’t hold your hand in public anymore?”
You bring a soft smile to your face, slightly giggling at the sincerity in his tone. Running your hand through his hair, you respond, “No, that’s not what I meant! We just don’t want to give ourselves away. So, hand holding between friends is okay.” Leaning closer into Seokmin, he’s suddenly falling into the swirls of color in your eyes and into a trance when your voice gets quieter as you speak. “But kissing,” you punctuate your statement by connecting your lips to his. Seokmin has to swallow a moan as he gets lost in you, pulling you closer and molding your body to his. His hands come to grasp at each side of your face, gentle yet desperate to keep you two moving in unison. 
His efforts were futile, though, as you pull away from him with a smirk, leaving him with the inability to catch his breath. “Isn’t allowed.”
Seokmin is only left able to stare at you, his hands feeling clammy as they still rest on your cheeks. His thumb brushes across your face, his own body heat making your skin hot to the touch. All he can do is chuckle, shaking his head at the predicament he’s found himself in before he’s looking back at you. “Okay. Fine. Is that it?”
“One last rule. No seeing other people without us talking about it first.”
‘Easy,’ Seokmin thinks, but he still has to play it cool.
Raising his eyebrows, a playful tone enters his voice as Seokmin asks, “So, we’re exclusive fuck buddies now?”
You roll your eyes. “Not exactly. It’s more of a safety thing, you know?”
“Yeah, I’ll pretend that you aren’t just keeping your jealousy in check.”
“Do we have a deal or not, Lee?”
You present your pinky finger in between you, a lighthearted ritual that holds the weight of the future of your relationship with Seokmin. It seems too lax for such a situation, but he knows this is as important to you as it is to him with the small appendage in front of him.
“Fine. Deal.”
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hehe <3
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griancraft · 2 months
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Ok as per my last post. This is Long and very much about my feelings so uh don’t read it if you don’t want to. Also I’m aware I sound genujneky crazy for half of this I’m just really really mentally ill in ways I don’t talk about here at all and now I am sharing them and it’s. A little scary but oh well. The system stuff is the stuff I’m most concerned about right now to be honest bc it effects my day to day and if anyone has any kind words or thoughts on what to do I’ll be happy to listen
Please read my previous post if you’re mad /gen I don’t think I say anything bad here but I have really bad morality ocd so like uhm I am scared to post this!!! Prev post
Also I’m very sorry that the prose is terrible to read and my spelling is shit I have dyspraxia which is a coordination thing and it’s worse rn
The maybe I was boring album came on yesterday while I was cleaning and I had to stop what I was doing and turn it off halfway through because I just couldn’t stop hearing an admission. I wasn’t even sad I was just. So done with it. I still am just kinda like. God I hope Shelby is doing ok with all this being public now. I’m glad she was able to heal like she said and I’m glad she made the video dude.
I almost got his lyrics tattooed if that’s testament to how much I loved his early music. It’s not connecting in my brain that this music that’s been apart of my life for like 4 years and helped me through so much was made by an abuser.
But like, in retrospect you can see it. I can’t bear to delete ycgma off my mp3 player bc I related to his songs so much as an abused lonely teenager but I also can’t bare to listen to it. I learned the fall on my guitar as my final exam and I used to repeat his lyrics to myself to cope with abuse and I wish I could still love these songs. I dressed like his dsmp character bc I thought it made me look cool. Which is lame as fuck to admit now lol
Originally I was planning on pirating them and I like, can’t especially after that manipulative ass statement. How much was an act? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m a bad person because I still kinda do want to listen to that music again. I still want to feel that safe but I know I won’t feel that way anymore.
with dsmp stuff I think I’m going to be still able to look back fondly on it generally and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. The community was what made it and the community is what I loved, and i still do. I don’t think I’m going to reblog art of him specifically but if he’s in it I might. Idk. My policy on dream fanart is if he’s not alone in the art and it’s dsmp or mcc related I reblog so I guess I’ll continue that here. Im sorry if that sounds callous I just. Am not prepared to talk about this so I’m going back and forth
And like. We also have a wilbur factive/fictive and we have for years now and nobody in our system knows how to feel about that. He formed to fill the role of a big brother (I was being heavily emotionally neglected at that point and needed someone to be there for me) and protector from my parents abuse. Obviously, he is entirely separate from his source now bc alters change a lot for me but how we picture him is still wilbur. he’s literally just some guy now but grappling with that connection is fucked up dude it’s weird. He’ll probably further distance himself but it still fucking sucks and I don’t know how to communicate the cognitive dissonance we had to push through bc our brain struggled at first to make sense of how this person who we liked so much that he became the template for a Protector to shield us from the emotional neglect and abuse, essentially, is a terrible person. I’m sorry I know people who aren’t systems, and some who are ngl, will find this fuckibg nuts and I get that but we’re a very very internal person like I just. Kinda am with us as a system a lot and nobody else. It feels like my safe space that I’ve created in my head has been marred. Also. uhm. Our alters speak in distinct voices so it’s bad bad for me rn and we are trying to fix it. I know I know fictives and factives arenttheir source but that doesn’t change that it makes me feel gross. I’m rambling rn I’m sorry. Support Shelby.
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blackjackkent · 4 months
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OK, for better or for worse, time for Hector to deal with these githyanki on The Skull(tm).
Hector's new build with improved WIS for AC and Hill Giant Strength for Tavern Brawler damage is doing a LOT more work than he was previously. :D
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58 points of damage on the turn is tasty. :D (I could min-max him to much more with gear but I'm not stressing that much over it.)
The githyanki are also terrifying however so this fight is still mega scary.
MVP of this fight turned out to be Slow from Gale, which I'd forgotten he even had access to until I reset the fight and looked through everyone's spell slots. It made a HUGE difference against these characters who can attack 2335265234 times in a turn and zip all over the place.
VERY INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT HOWEVER - during the middle of this combat, the Guardian/Emperor called out as a combat line:
"I must regain control over the githyanki prince!"
And oh.
Oh shit.
That's Orpheus in the light cage, isn't it?
Holy shit... Lae'zel is going to have a stroke over everything that happened here without her. O.O;
As the fight ends, the Emperor puts the githyanki back into whatever trance he was in when we arrived.
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"Thank you," it intones gravely, turning back towards Hector and his companions. "That was too close."
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"Don't look at me like that. I am a mind flayer, yes. Without me you would be a slave to the Absolute."
To be honest, I'm not sure Hector even knows what way he was looking at it. He's frightened, yes, but he's been frightened so long that it hardly feels like a change of pace. He's more confused than anything else; what is the "guardian's" true agenda? What is it doing to the githyanki in the trap? And why does it speak with emotion and ferocity, like a creature with a soul?
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"Of all the creatures to be indebted to," Shadowheart mutters bitterly. "A bloody mind flayer."
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"I ask again," Hector demands. "Who are you? And I'm going to need a name this time." He is so tired of the secrets, of the confusion.
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"You may call me the Emperor," the creature says, and raises a fist glowing with pale energy.
A flash of white through his brain, the tadpole connection he is so familiar with from contact with his own companions. The mind flayer's memories surge over him in a rolling wave.
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"An adventurer. I came from Baldur's Gate, though I was never one to be constrained by circumstance. I longed for more."
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"That longing brought me to Moonrise Towers on a search for treasure. To a colony of mind flayers who caught me, changed me into what I am now. For years I served the elder brain - the one you know as the Absolute. I was a thrall like any other. But I was fortunate - I broke free, and started a new life in my old city."
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"I sustained myself on criminals. Unglamorous, but there were plenty of them, rarely missed, and they fueled me while I did my work.
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"I had the good fortune to meet Duke Stelmane. We formed a partnership, and through her I became the governing force behind the Knights of the Shield, the largest mercantile operation in Baldur's Gate. People referred to me as the Emperor - such was my influence. Though of course they had no idea what I really was."
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"My needs were sated. I was... happy, for a while. Until my true nature was discovered by the tyrant himself - Lord Gortash."
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"He tore me from my home and brought me back to the brain where I became a slave once again. A slave he continued to call the Emperor. The name was intended as a slight - to remind me of the heights from which I fell. But I have grown fond of it. It encapsulates well who I've become."
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Hector listens to this tale in bewilderment. It seems almost too fantastic to be true - a mind flayer able to live in secrecy within the largest city on the coast? To command the Knights of the Shield, an organization so big even Hector has heard of it? He would think it impossible - if it weren't for Omeluum. He has seen a mind flayer broken free before.
The whole situation makes him feel tremendously uncomfortable. Trapped. But if the story is true, he and the Emperor have a common enemy. The Emperor and Karlach even have a shared experience - that of being pulled from their homes and enslaved by Gortash.
But there are still so many questions...
"That githyanki in the sphere," he says hoarsely, almost afraid to hear the answer. "Who is it?"
"Prince Orpheus," the Emperor says bluntly, confirming Hector's suspicions instantly. "Son of the first leader of the githyanki. His power has been the source of your continued protection against the Absolute - the power to disrupt hivemind communication. It is the same power that enabled Orpheus's mother to bring about the fall of the Illithid Empire eons ago, a power she passed on to him, and that I leveraged for you."
It turns to look steadily at the githyanki prisoner suspended with the shield at the center of the skull.
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"When Orpheus's mother left, a usurper took her place. Vlaaktih declared herself 'queen' of the githyanki," it goes on, its voice a low growl. "Vlaakith wanted his power, but Orpheus rose against her. And so she sealed him and his honor guard within this Prism. Bound by infernal chains, Orpheus could never leave. Bound by duty, his guard never would. They were close to breaking my hold on their prince - and if they had succeeded, we would be lost."
It looks back towards Hector and inclines its head approvingly. "I am releived you have embraced your potential enough that you could help me eliminate them. Alone, Orpheus will be much easier to control."
Hector swallows. Not since the creche - and possibly not ever - has he been so confused about the right thing to do. He trusted the guardian (to a degree), and he needs the Emperor. But the imprisoned githyanki makes him uncomfortable. The Emperor's interest in his potential makes him very uncomfortable. The swirl of unspoken and unexplained intentions makes him tremendously uncomfortable.
"Were you imprisoned here too?" he asks.
"No," the mind flayer answers. "Gortash sent me on a mission to retrieve the Astral Prism. I was one of many, but the first to find it. How Gortash and the other Chosen learned of its existence, I do not know. The moment I found it, I felt a change. My free will returning. I followed the feeling inside - and found Orpheus. I realized what the Prism was for: containment. While my body was within the Prism's bounds, my mind was free. I could resist the elder brain, the Chosen. Better yet, I could plan to overthrow them. All I needed to do was subdue Orpheus and find allies in the outer world. You."
Hector remembers the visions of battle the guardian showed him before. He had assumed it was some extension of the battle against the Absolute, but in truth it was this creature battling against the incursions of githyanki trying to rescue their prince. The rebels against Vlaakith - the people like Voss.
"Was it you or Orpheus that Vlaakith wanted us to kill when she ordered us inside the Prism?" he asks, quirking one eyebrow up thoughtfully.
"Most certainly Orpheus," the Emperor says placidly. "He is a threat to her reign. Some githyanki still revere him, in defiance of their teachings. Vlaakith was safe as long as they believed him to be dead. But as you can see, he is very much alive. She kept him this way because she was reluctant to eradicate such power, power that she might one day wish to take from him. If the githyanki ever find out what she has done, there will be civil war. Vlaakith will be finished."
"What happens if we free Orpheus?" Hector asks.
"That would be a terrible idea," the Emperor snaps at once. "The moment he is free, he will attack you. Your only defense would be to kill him. And in so doing, you would doom us both."
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Narrator: Even though he is subdued, you feel Orpheus's revulsion - a pulsing hatred that cannot be contained. The Emperor is telling the truth. To him, you are just another wretched illithid.
"You carry a tadpole," the Emperor growls. "As far as Orpheus is concerned, you are already illithid - a sworn enemy, just like me."
Thoughts are swirling in Hector's head, a variety of panicked possibilities. Could they bring Lae'zel here? Have her talk to Orpheus, calm him, explain the situation, work with him, free him from this prison? And yet the Emperor is right, the risk in doing so is terribly high and the cost of failure so astronomical...
He needs to get away from this place, needs time and space to think, to talk with those he trusts - among whom the Emperor no longer falls.
The creature's words strike him painfully as he struggles to settle his mind - the implication that in working alongside the Emperor, he has become a monster himself. "I'm no illithid," he says defensively. "And never will be."
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"You are already more illithid than you realize - it has improved you," the Emperor says, and there's a strange sort of smirk in its tone that Hector does not like at all. "You seek to reverse an inevitable process, a process of evolution. When I first escaped from the elder brain, I too railed against the change. But the longer I have inhabited this form, the more it has grown on me."
It leans forward, staring intently into Hector's eyes. "Even if my original body remained intact after I transformed, I would not return to it. Doing so would only impose limitations. As an illithid, I have far surpassed who I ever was before. You, too, should embrace this change."
Hector's stomach churns with sudden revulsion. Any sense of safety he felt here suddenly evaporates. The Emperor may be his ally against the elder brain, but it is not his friend - it wishes him to become a mind flayer as well, simply of a different sort, free-minded but transformed.
"I'm trying to avoid becoming a mind flayer," he says sharply. "I thought you agreed to protect me."
"I believe we'll have a better chance of defeating the elder brain if you embrace your latent illithid potential," the Emperor says calmly. "I've been studying you for a while now. I believe I can trigger the next stage of your tadpole's lifecycle while continuing to preserve your independence." It takes another step towards him. "You have seen what I can do. Imagine yourself with the same strength. The same intelligence. The same devastating beauty. If you let me, I can evolve you."
Hector's skin prickles all over. He doesn't dare look away from the mind flayer but he is sure his companions are showing the same dismay and revulsion that he himself feels. "No," he says, shaking his head fiercely. "No way."
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Narrator: Even as you say the words, you feel a lurch of disappointment. Your mind bristles with illithid potential. How could you be so cruel to deny yourself what you want most in the world?
The sensation of the tadpole itself seizing his emotions makes him feel even more ill. There is no safety even inside his own mind anymore.
The Emperor cocks its head to one side, as if amused. "I felt that. It's your nature. You cannot fight it, so embrace it."
It extends a hand, sending a pale green, glowing tadpole drifting towards Hector in the plane's lighter gravity.
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"It wants to evolve," the Emperor growls. "But it cannot do so alone. It must commune with another."
"What is it?" Hector whispers hollowly.
"A tadpole, nurtured by the psionic energy of the Astral Plane," the mind flayer answers. "Cocooned here for millenia, it has become extraordinary."
Hector swallows, closes his eyes, fights against the force within his mind trying to urge him forward. [WISDOM] "No," he forces out. "I won't do it."
(A/N: NATURAL FUCKING 20! THAT'S MY BOY!!!!!!!!)
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Narrator: A wave of disappointment, stronger than any you've ever felt. And then - stillness. You have resisted your illithid instincts - for now.
He realizes his free hand is clenched at his side, his jaw tight, his eyes squeezed shut. Every iota of his focus has been channeled into finding the stillness at the center of him. The calm. All things with her strength. I walk in the Moonmaiden's light... no grief nor pain nor fury shall wrest me from her path...
And the strain begins to ease, the tadpole receding into dormancy again. He can breathe. He can open his eyes.
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The Emperor watches him thoughtfully, unblinking. "You are not ready yet," it murmurs. "Keep hold of it, then. Until you are. Perhaps you will be more inclined to try it when you see more of what our enemy can do."
It shakes its head sharply. "But we mustn't lose focus. We need to resume our journey. You heard the Chosen. The brain has gone to the city, and the army marches to follow. We must not let them reach it. We must find the brain and bring it under our control."
Hector isn't sure he much likes the way it says that, either.
-----
"Let's go," he mutters to the others. His voice has started to shake as the adrenaline required to look the creature in the eye begins to fade. "Let's go. Now. Let's get out of here. We need to go."
"Are you all right?" Gale asks with some concern as they begin striding out of the skull as fast as their legs can carry them. "I very nearly thought your tadpole was going to make you--"
"It nearly did," Hector says curtly. "We need to go."
"Are we trusting this thing, then?" Karlach asks; her longer stride keeps up with him easily.
"No."
"But we're working with it."
"What choice do we have?"
They've never heard him so blunt, so clipped-off. "Soldier--"
"I don't know!" he snaps, not looking at any of them. "I-- we need to get out of here and I need to think. And I need to talk to Lae'zel. And I don't think any of us are going to enjoy it, including her."
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nctsworld · 3 years
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two nights, one you
✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k 
SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection  GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff  WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen​ 
AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap! 
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⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!
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Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.
Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.
Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.    
Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.
Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.  
It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.
You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.
But then, you land on him.
One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.
Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.
The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:
“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”
You swipe right without hesitation.
“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.  
Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.  
Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:  
so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?
Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:
-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)
He’s quick to send his address.
-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!
Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:
tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛
-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛
Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.
“Hi,” you chirp.
A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”  
Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.  
“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.  
“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.
Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.
“So, this is my place...”
Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.
Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”
“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”
He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”
Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.
“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”
A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”
“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”
Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.  
“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”
“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”
You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.
Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?  
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So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...  
Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.
But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.
And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.
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In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.
Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.
The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.
“Morning. You’re finally up.”
Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.  
“Out you go.”
You blink.
Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.
After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.  
Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.
You definitely heard him right.
And he’s dead-serious.
You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—
Realization dawns on you.
Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?
Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.  
“What the fuck?!” you screech.
“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”
“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.  
“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”
“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”
“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”
Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.
“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.  
“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.  
He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”
Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—
“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”
You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.
Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.
“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”
“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”
With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.
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Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.
“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”
As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.
“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”
With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.
“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”
The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”
Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.
Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.
Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.
“Well, shit.”  
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Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.
Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.
At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.
As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.
After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.
“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.
“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.
“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.
“No, you.”
You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.
“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”
He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.
“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”
His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.
“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.
Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.
“Fine.”
He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.  
One minute, to be exact.
You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.
“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”
Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”
“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.
“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”
One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”
“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”
He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”
Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”
“Do you plead the fifth then?”
Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.
You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”
“Bigger or smaller than average?”
“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.
He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”
You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”
Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.
“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”
Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”
“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.
“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.
Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.
“Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”
“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”
“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.
“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”
So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.
No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.
“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”
There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.
Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”
Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”
Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.
“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”
As if you had anywhere else to go...  
He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”
“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.  
“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.  
“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.
The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.
Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.
You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.
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During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.
Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.
You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.
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By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.
“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.
“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.
“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”
You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”
That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”
You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”
“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”  
You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.
Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”
And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.
“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.
“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.
Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.
“And what’s so wrong with that?”
Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.  
“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”
Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.  
“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”
Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.
“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”
“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”
“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.
He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”
Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.
Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?
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Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.  
So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.
“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”
Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.
“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.
“I do not! I just—nooo!”
You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.
Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.
Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.    
“What?” you eye him suspiciously.
Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.
“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”
Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.  
Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.
“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”
Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.
Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.
You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.
You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.
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On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.
From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone  off to one side.  
“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”
A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”
“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.
You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?  
You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.  
Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?
“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”
“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.
“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”
Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”
He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”
“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.  
He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.
“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”
With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.
“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.
“Non-existent.”
“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”
You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.
“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”
You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”
“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”
Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.
“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.  
Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”
Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”
You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”
“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”
He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”
“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”
“I’m premed, of course I—”
“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”
You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”
“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.
You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”
“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”
Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”
“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”
With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.
“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”
When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.  
After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”
You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”
The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.
Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”
“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”
“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.  
You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.
“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.
“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”
You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.
“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.
“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”
“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”
“Don’t be scared to touch me.”
“I touched you so much during—”
He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.
“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”
The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”
Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.
“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”
“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.  
“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”
“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”
He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”
“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”
“Try to make you come in other ways?”
Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”
“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”
A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.  
“Why don’t we try it again?”
Perplexed, you squint at him.
“Try what again...?”
“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.
You blankly stare at him.
“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.
“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.” 
You continue to stare at him until you groan.
“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”
Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”
“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.
“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.  
Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.  
God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.  
“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”
“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”
You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.
“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.
They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.
“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”
“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”
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“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”
On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.
“Is Chenle your roommate?”
“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”
With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”
Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.
The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.
You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.
The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.  
His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.
He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.
Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.
The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.
Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.    
After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”
“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.
He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.
Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.
Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.
In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.  
On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.
Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.
“I’m ticklish over there.”
“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”
With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.
“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”
When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.
The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.
He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.
Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.
You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.
Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.
Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.  
“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.
“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”
Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.
“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.
Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.
Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.
“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”
He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.
“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”
You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”
His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.
Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.
But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.
You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.
Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.  
You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.
Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.
A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.  
“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.
He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”
You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.
“Use your words, Jaemin.”
Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.
“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”
“Anything to critique?”
“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.
“Am I still rusty?”
“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”
“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.
“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.    
Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.
You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.  
Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.
“There, there—“
Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.  
“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.
You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.
“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”
“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”
Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.
“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.
You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.
“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”
Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.
“Fuck, holy shit.”
His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.
The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.  
You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”
And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.  
“I’m-I’m—”
You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.
Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.
“Was that real?”
You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.  
With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.
“Ready for the last round?”
His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.    
Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.
As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.
Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.
“Told you we weren’t going to die.”
You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.
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By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.
But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.
In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.
During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.  
“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.
He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.
“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.  
“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.
Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.  
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After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.  
“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”
You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.
“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”
A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”
After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.
“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.
“Do you...?”
Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.  
And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.
Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.
“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”
“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”
“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.
Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”
His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”
You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.
“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”
Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.  
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Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.
Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.
He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.
The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.
The date he asked you out on.
You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.
Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.
Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.
But that’s not what you’re focusing on.
Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.
It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.
A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.
Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.
But to cheat?
That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.
You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.
With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.
He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.  
He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.
“Wait! I can explain!”
You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.
“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”
“No, listen to me for a second.”
The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.
“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”
“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”
Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.
“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”
Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.  
“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”
You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”
He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.
“She cheated on me.”
The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.  
But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.  
Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”
Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.
“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”
He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.
“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”
You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly. 
“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”
He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.
“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”
His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.
“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
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Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.
It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.
“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.
Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.  
Because you choose to be.
Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.  
Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.
What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?
The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.
The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—  
Because you didn’t find the right guy until last night.
Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.
And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.  
You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.
As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.
And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.  
Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.
Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.  
A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.
The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.
“And who might you be?” he asks.
“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.
You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”
“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.
“What are you doing h—”
You cut him off with a kiss.
An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.  
Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”
“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.  
He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”
“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”
Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.
“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”
He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.
“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.
Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.
“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.
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Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.
With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.
“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”
You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”
He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.
“Maybe I didn’t.”
“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.
“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”    
You sharply turn your head.
“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.  
A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.
“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”
7K notes · View notes
annmarcus63 · 3 years
Text
He wanted to say "I love you"
Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Here's on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34237159
Injured Jaskier
"Blessed silence"
"Would you shut up, bard?"
"If you don't stop within the next two minutes, I swear, I'll break that fucking lute and shove it down your throat"
"Jaskier, shut up!"
"Alright! I'll stop, there's no need to be such a brute" replied Jaskier while tucking the lute, currently on his hands, on the brand new case he bought a couple of days ago to a retired musician living his last days on White Orchard. It's gorgeous, orgasmic, almost as sexy as the lute.
The music notes slowly fading in Geralt's ears, leaving a weak hum behind. Geralt sighed relieved, and a suspicious feeling that may resemble guilt. But there's not time to dwell on it. He's trying to sort the potions and required ingredients to complete the contract which he needed to follow up  that same night. Witchers were trained to tune out every sound to be able to concentrate. He could meditate for days with not a single thing to bother him, but Jaskier's chatter is a powerful contrary spell to the calmness he was used to. It's a possibility that Jaskier fell upon his path with the sole purpose to test his limits. He is good company but sometimes Geralt wonders if it's worth the trouble.
He needs Arachnomorphs' venom and Griffin's feathers and blue mutagen to brew the antidote to the potent venom of the Endrega warrior he's goin to face. Methodically he starts with the preparation, grind and mix, smell, taste, it hurts...it's ready.
Three weeks ago he received a letter from Eskel asking to meet for pressing matters. Geralt doesn't know what he may want, it maybe a problem with a powerful beast or just a call to drink, which is unlikely because the message seem urgent. So Geralt had to hurry if he wanted to catch him on time, he was two days late and if he doesn't kill the Endrega he'd be three days late. Traveling with Jaskier prevent from a fastest pace, and the reason of those two days were, of course, the bard who asked him to stay longer on White Orchard to wait for his new lute case. Geralt ponder all this with an edge of bitterness towards Jaskier, it's unfair and uncalled for. He feel like shit. He ponder it still.
Jaskier is capable of recognizing when he's being a nuisance. Or well...he can recognize when someone has reach their limits regarding him. He can be too much, he speaks too much, he moves too much, he whines too much, he thinks too much. He's considerate you see, when Geralt snaps at him he understands. He can't help it. Is what he is, and he's not going to change, he tried once for his father. It didn't work, Jaskier was giving too much away for the acceptance of one person, he conclude it didn't worth it.
He understands really, but today Geralt has been a little over the edge, and has crossed the line between banter and plain rudeness.
So the logical response is to be more annoying.
Jaskier can be awful too when he wants.
He prod the wild and stressed animal with meaningless chatter, why does the fire moves like that? is the color of my fingernail normal? have you ever wonder how it'd be to become a fish?
the wild animal spill one or two drops of the antidote while pouring it from the small wood plate in which the ingredients got blend. Jaskier swear have saw how the vein on Geralt's forehead pop.
Ups…
"Would you SHUT UP for once in your fucking life?” ok he seen that coming “I can't even hear my own thoughts, bard. When we reach Velen you're going to stay there. Do you understand? Not following me around anymore”
To be fair he has caused this. It's what he does, always, being and idiot with and incessant mouth. He has push too far this time, even so that tone on Geralt's voice put him on edge, angry even. That ungrateful witcher and his never ending foul mood. What would he give to see him smile more often?
Everything.
A heavy atmosphere settled on the camp, Geralt's angry and now Jaskier's too, offended to be more accurate. Jaskier hated these often-occurring moments, as if the bard were a stranger and not a years friend.
Are you though?
Whoever sent the letter is Geralt's friend. What give it away? the eagerness to travel fast for instance. Jaskier send a letter once, asking if he wanted to meet at Novigrad, he never received a response nor Geralt went there.
Geralt packed his things, secure the sword straps and with a particular tenseness on his shoulders he turn to Jaskier.
"You're going to stay here. HERE Jaskier. I don't want you anywhere near the nest, the poison..."
"I know"
"Then I want you to repeat it"
"What? Really? I'm not a child, Geralt" but the Witcher kept his stance, waiting, and Jaskier's a sucker for pleasing.
"I'm going to stay here, quiet and still. If I get near the nest there's a high chance to get poisoned, even a small dosis could kill me. And get my body back and bury it would be a big hassle for you Are you happy now?"
"Hmm. I'll be back by midnight"
Geralt disappeared between the trees and Jaskier watch him go with a big lump on his throat. Not five minutes later he started cleaning the broth pot to fill it again with clean water to drink to warm up his bones. How he wish to have tea or coffe to add.
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Wind's howling, Jaskier reflected, feeling the chill colouring his cheeks and breaking his lips unpleasantly. Besides the wolfs living on the wind, there was silence, a sepulchral silence that caused him feel unsafe. Even Roach looks in distress. An hour ago she was lying on the grass getting ready for a good night sleep, and now she's looking everywhere as if she can sense something lurking in the shadows, and that is scary. By the position of the moon Jaskier could guess the time, one and a half hour past midnight. That idiot witcher should be here by now. He knew that, Roach knew that, so why he's not here?
He couldn't think straight, the worry was eating him up from the intestines and it wasn't fair or unnormal, worrying for Geralt is like worrying for the sun to never come up again. It may happen but is unlikely, impossible.
Geralt is fine, he is, or at least is what he kept repeating himself for the past hour like a mantra that no one would ever listen.
Something went wrong, I'm sure. He'd be here by now so why he's not here? What if the Endrega chew his head off? that's sudden and crude Jaskier, what's wrong with you? He can't be dead, I mean I didn't even get the chance to apologize, to clean his wounds, to buy him breakfast, to tell him I love him with all my beating foolish heart.
Agh, but he's not dead, so stop that train of thought right this instant, young man.
For some reason the voice sounded like his dead mother.
"I need to go there only to see if he's safe" said Jaskier to Roach
"But he said rather rudely to you to stay put and not bother him." replied imitating Roach voice like a tired housewife.
"I know what he said" said with an air of petulant child. "And what about you come with me to keep me in check"
"It's dark you can't see and it's dangerous"
"But you can!"
"Fine, hop on me" he loved winning arguments.
He saddled Roach efficiently, Geralt rarely let him do it but he was a quick learner. He put out the fire with a kick of dust, took a small blade that Geralt kept at the bottoms of his bag just in case, he also lit the only torch they carried for emergencies, a beacon of light that Geralt could see if he was in trouble and rode Roach towards the clearing next to the main road from which people get disappearing and getting eaten.
He trusted Roah to guided him, she was a clever one who also worried for her master.
The cold kept biting his skin even under the small fire, he left his cape at camp in case he needed to run, but they're getting closer. A wooden statue with flowers and canisters at it’s feet appear by his right, the notice board said the location of the insect was near that god statue.
He stoped Roach and dismount then he took the short blade wishing he didn't have to use it, before leaving he remembered the possibility of encounter with poison, according to Geralt Endregas not only spit venom but also exuded poisonous gas equally lethal. So he took his undershirt to cover half his face, this might prevent breathing it.
The turned out the torch because the light would attract the Endrega and distract Geralt.
He walked slowly to north realizing how much he was trembling, it wasn't that cold. It was fear and the soft hum of the adrenaline waiting on his brain for being triggered.
And then a rancid and potent smell reached him despite the undershirt. There. A thick unnatural mist and a series of small mountains piled some meters away. No, not mountains, bodies, Endrega bodies lying on the ground slaughtered with efficiency. A witcher’s work.
He almost missed it because of the mist, but there he was, Geralt, lying on the ground in a tragic pantomim of his foes. Jaskier hurried to him almost tripping in the process, he kneel by his side and got shocked by the hardened veins on the witcher's forehead, his levels of toxicity must being dangerous high. But he wasn't dead and if Jaskier wanted to keep him like that he needed to take him away from the mist to help his body fight the secondary effects of the pocions.
He looked the number of bodies surrounded them, more than six when the contract said one Endrega.
He have to be quick so he wrap Geralt by the armpits and with all his strength started to drag him towards Roach, he couldn't risk bringing her here in case of the poison or another insect near by. Geralt was a big guy, he has always being attracted to that, now not so much. Sweating, weary and scared.
Sweating, weary and scared the bard dragged the witcher to Roach when he started to feel dizzy followed by an annoying scratching under the skin. Roach stamped her feet two times before getting closer, she nosed her master while Jaskier catch his breath, then the lovely girl crouched down and wait patiently.
In a matter of a blink, his head started to pound violently and his vision to get blurred. That wasn't good.
The poison, it's the poison.
With all the strength he got left he pull Geralt on his belly over Roach, the position wasn't ideal but it was all he could do before collapsing on his knees.
"Go Roach. Go" She stood with must carefulness, Jaskier watched her go feeling a rush of pride and victory, he saved Geralt, he'll be alright and that was all that matter.
Jaskier fell backwards hitting his head with the ground, his body started convulsing or at least that's what he thought before lose consciousness.
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An insistent poke on his ribs brought him to wakefulness followed by a fall and a sudden sharp pain on his side. A few seconds later the witcher take in his surroundings. Roach neigh by his side, he had fall from her. The heavy cloud from exhaustion and toxicity still rested on his brain.
He felt the bitter tang on the back of his tongue of venom running thru his system and the hollow pain that remained. There were eight Endregas...yes, the Endregas, he had fainted on the clearing knowing well that he might not woke up again if he kept on breathing that mist. How did he get there? Roach answered with a distressed stump of her foot.
"What?" he asked the horse, and she neigh.
Jaskier
"Fuck."
he search on his pouch for White Honey to swallow it in a big gulp.
Awareness returned quickly and despite the injuries and aches on his lef side he took Roach's reins and guided her back to the clearing.
Back to Jaskier, he hoped to not be late, please let him be on time, he begged to no one in particular.
The contract said one Endrega, imagine the surprise and horror he felt when encountering a nest with full grown ups monsters which position were stronger and their hunt abilities an excellency when attacking in pack. He drank the three vials of antidote he carried and a dose of Swallow that burned his stomach and shot the toxicity levels to a mortal point. The Endregas were all dead, but tired and injured he collapse defeated. The position of the moon indicate that was dead for at least two hours during which he continued to breathe the poisonous gas, half and hour more and he'd be dead for good. Jaskier went for him, he could smell him on Roach, his fear and urgency. Idiot, that idiot.
Geralt tried with all his might to not think him dead.
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At the feet of the statue was Jaskier, body bent in an awkward angle. Geralt removed the undershirt on his face, recognizing it as a clever tactic. The mist did not reach that area but the purple and green tone on the bard's skin indicate high levels of poison, he must have went thru the mist to reach Geralt drag him back to Roach.
“Fuck, Jask”  said Geralt with a trembling voice and without thinking carried Jaskier to Roach, there'll be time to check for injuries for now he have to take him back to safety. Jaskier's heartbeat was slow, very very slow. Geralt fret but he did not relent.
He laid Jaskier's frigid body on the bedroll and with Igni he started the fire, he located the water Jaskier used for tea and used to clean his hands of the grime and dirt. A choking noise alerted him and Roach who was nosing the bard.
From Jaskier's nose a dark liquid started to flow, he was drowning from the inside which meant that he had breath the poison and it was filling his lungs with thick mucus.
He put Dandelion on his side and encouraged him to vomit with his fingers to clean his airways as soon as possible. Jaskier throat convulsed on his fingers followed by a steady dark flow. Geralt reached for the pot by the fire to put it under his mouth, which soon was filled to the brim.
"That's it Jask, that's it" Geralt whispered even though the bard couldn't hear him. With a clean cloth, he wiped the bard's mouth once the flow stopped and her lungs sound clear. It was then that Geralt noticed with overwhelming fear that the other had stopped breathing.
"No, no, Jask come on come on"
He acted fast by lifting Jaskier's chin and placing his clasped hands in the center of his chest and began to push down hard more times than he could count.
“Jaskier come back!” he growled when his shoulders felt like jelly, he was getting tired and Jaskier wasn't breathing. He wasn't breathing. He remembered Renfri choking on his arms a reflection of what was happening here. Not this again, not these again. Jaskier's mouth opened follow up by a weak gasp and a weaker heartbeat.
But he came back, and Geralt almost cried right there and there, but he didn't know how. There's nothing else he can do, he had no medicine of herbs for poisoning that could help humans, everything he had was lethal. He instantly regretted overlooking the possibility of this happening. He was traveling with a bard and the most responsible and considerate thing he could do was prevent and buy at least herbs just in case. But he didn't. They were at least a day and a half away from the next town and being that far from the capital meant fewer healers. Jaskier wouldn't survive the travel, not on this conditions.
If the poison hasn't killed him by now then it means that he could survive on his own, or at least that's what Geralt hope.
He put Jaskier in one of his shirts and covered him with all the available clothes they had, his cape and even the blanket with which he covered Roach.
Exhausted he started removing his armour to clean the now faint slashes on his chest and abdomen, then he walked like death to Roach to remove the saddle and pet her gently thanking her for her help.
It was an hour before dawn, but Geralt did not rest, he could not even if he wanted to. He sat next to Jaskier to check his breathing and keep the fire burning.
The fever hit the bard a couple of hours later, he was burning dangerously high, Geralt dipped a cloth on clean water to place on his forehead, from time to time raised Jaskier's head to feed him with water.
His heart didn't stop again which was a blessing amongst the terrible situation. Jaskier didn't deserve to die like this, not for Geralt or monsters.
Then the hallucinations began, feverish and confused, Jaskier babbled under his breath while trembling furiously. He smell like sickness and decay and in that exact moment the witcher missed the natural perfume of the bard's skin. Like sea breeze and orange tree. Like Jaskier.
By day two Geralt got assaulted by an all consuming wave of guilt. He had yelled at the bard for being...well, himself. He was so upset and it was so easy to insult and threaten to leave him in the next town.
Jaskier hated to be left behind.
"Why did you came for me, you idiot?"
"I don't deserve it" whispered before taking the now warm cloth to dip it once again on cold water. Instead of improving, Jaskier's condition began to deteriorate. Painful spasms convulsed his body for hours, the fever did not subside and his breathing were shallow and slow. Geralt lay next to him that night to keep the tremors at bay, he hold him carefully alongside his body.
"You do remember the night after Posada when we make camp and you asked me to cuddle you because you were cold?" He whispered into the night "I didn't. If you were awake I'd never hear the end of this. You'd love it"
The bard moaned softly and shook slightly under his grip. "Come back to me, Jask." He meant to say how sorry he was, he doze off instead.
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First he felt heat on his face, then a relentless pressure on his head as if a heavy stone was on top of it Little by little he maped his body and the multiple aches that alarmed him. On his chest underneath the skin his ribs screamed with fire as if he have been kicked hard multiple times, also his lungs burned like hell, his shoulders were stiff and sore, his belly hurt faintly.
What happened? Where is he? What, what, what, what
"Jaskier Jaskier. I'm here, breathe thru your nose, I'm here." Suddenly he realized that he was sitting up and wide-eyed. It was noon. "Jask" kneeled next to him was Geralt with a worried frown and a canister fill of water. He snatched it from Geralt's hands and drank as if a desert was kept inside his lungs.
"Easy"
“Not…your…horse” Jaskier flinched at how raspy his voice sounded. Beside him, the witcher chuckled and then stretched out his hand to put it on his forehead. Before Jaskier could react at the soft touch tha hand was gone.
"Fevers down" uh, did he sound happy?
"I had fever?" Geralt looked at him with such intensity, a expression he had never seen and therefore didn't know what it meant.
"You almost died" he answered softly. She saw Roach grazing without a mount a few feet away, she also noticed that Geralt was in his small clothes. The camp was a small mess like when they stay on the same place for more than two days.
"The Endrega"
"Endregas, yes"
"I went..."
"Yes"
"I... i'm sorry"
"No, don't be, you saved me" It was a shock when Geralt straightened a lock of hair from her forehead. His fingertips were warm.
"Are you hungry?"
"I don't know. I don't think so"
"You have to eat. I cooked rabbit broth, it'll do you good"
He could only swallow a quarter of the broth before starting to feel nauseous, Geralt said he had vomit enough for the past days before taking the pot from him. Roach came to say hello and Jaskier felt his heart swelled with affection. He wanted to do and ask more, but suddenly he felt tired, very tired, his eyelids fluttered and when Geralt saw him, he helped him lie down and put his cape over him. He was soft and calm, tender even. At that moment Jaskier knew that he must have been in a bad shape if Geralt was acting like this, like Jaskier always imagine on his wildest dreams.
He wanted to said thank you but it felt so meaningless at the moment, Geralt didn't look that good, slump and with drop shoulders a clear sign of exhaustion. if Jaskier still breathed, it was all thanks to Geralt, despite how defeated he was from the contract, he took care of him.
I love you seem something meaningful to say, every feeling and thought Jaskier have had of the witcher, taking form into three little words.
Sleep took him away before he could have the courage to say it.
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The next morning Jaskier insisted he was fine and he wanted to travel to the next town , of course he was a liar Geralt always knew when he lied, because he wrinkled his nose in a cute but irritating way. With a small smile, he pinched the bard's nose back to normal.
“No, you’re not ready” Jaskier let out a laugh as he smack the witcher's hand away. and before Jaskier could protest Geralt added "But we need go there to get you to a healer and reastock"
"Your letter Geralt, don't forget about your letter"
"Uhmm"
Before setting off on the journey, Geralt made sure that Jaskier could endure the journey. He applied what was left of a soothing balm to Jaskier's chest for the pain and bruises that remained after the compressions. Riding would be painful, but they have to get to the healer in case of a relapse or permanent damage. Jaskier let him applied the balm and he couldn't believe the patience and care the witcher put on his motions as if Jaskier could break if enough force was used. He was crumbling in tiny little pieces, melting, but from a different source. The witcher is going to be the end of him one day of these.
I love you, we wanted to said. He put on one of Geralt's shirt instead, it smells like onion and Roach and Geralt and smoke and safety. It smells like home.
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Riding Roach was painful and tiring, walking was out of the question He kept waiting for Geralt to get upset by the multiple stops they made but that never happen, in fact the witcher was the one who plannified and suggest to rest every one or two hours.
Something has changed between them, but the bard does not know what to name this new atmosphere, but he sure welcomes it. For the first time in all the years they have travel together Jaskier felt wanted, cared for, treasured! With a rush of happiness and satisfaction, Jaskier acknowledged that the walls Geralt has built around him to keep him out and stranded, have collapsed. He finally was someone to hold on to. Jaskier was sitting on the bed roll with a warm tea canister on his hands while the witcher set up camp to sleep the night. A day and a half away from the next town has become two days, they'll be reaching the inn (if it were any, Jaskier hope there would be) by night fall.
Geralt was stoking the fire when a mad idea occurred to him, he crawled to Geralt and before he could voiced his displeasure the bard embrace him in a tight hug. Two seconds later, Geralt hugged him back almost urgently, nuzzling his face where Jaskier's shoulder and neck met. He withdrew with a goofy smile on his face and his heart hammering on his bruised ribs, he couldn't care less. But he didn't get any far, he was a selfish man. Geralt was smiling too, a soft and crooked smile, when he straightened the bard's hair over his forehead and ears, he then, like under a spell trace his thumbs over his eyebrows and eyelids. Jaskier could die right here and then from happiness.
Their faces were so close. I love you, Jaskier wanted to say, he took Geralt's hands instead to place a kiss on each dirtied palm.
"You reek" of course Geralt would know how to break the moment.
"You too, mister. For once Roach smells better than us"
“She always smells better tan us” Jaskier snorted getting back to the bedroll pondering on how lucky he was despite the near death experience, he was a lucky men.
By the next afternoon Jaskier was beyond exhausted, every single one of his bones scream with pain, he felt as if he was about to pass out at any moment.
"Geralt..."
"We have to get going, Jaskier, only for a few hours and we'd get there"
"I can't"
"Please, Jask, I'll take care of you when we get there"
Please, what a strange word to express how much you care.
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Geralt practically carried him up the stairs to the room, Jaskier fell face first on the bed already half sleep. Geralt was placing his things when the bard murmured “Wake me up before you go in the morning." The thing is that even if he were on time to reach Eskel, Geralt didn't want to go anywhere.
Jaskier woke up sometime in the night when the mattress sagged next to him.
followed by a strong arm curling around his belly.
"Grlt'?"
"Sleep"
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Jaskier woke up to the chirping of birds on the windowsill, it was still early, the sun was not up yet. Not even the drowsiness could prevent the joy he felt and finding himself tuck to Geralt chest, they're facing each other naturally as if they have sleep like this forever.
And like a bucket of cold water thrown over him he remembered the letter "Geralt" he called softly "Geralt it's morning"
"Hmm, I can see that" came the sloppy reply, but instead of getting up Geral cuddled him more, practically tucking his face against the other's.
as if sensing his distress Geralt added "I'm not going anywhere"
"But your contact..." he withdrew (a few inches) to make a point. Geralt opened his perfect eyes and hold him under them.
"Eskel, my brother. I already send a letter, he'll understand"
"I'm sorry" a kiss was place on his forehead
"Don't be, I want to be here"
"You...you didn't want to" Geralt sighed ashamed
"I know and i'm sorry. Now I know where i belong"
"Here?" replied Jaskier with a snort
"With you"
"With me?!" Now was Geralt's turn to snort happily, resembling Roach when they feed her apples.
"You risked your life even though I was an asshole to you, even when I told you that the poison would kill you if you got anywhere near the place. I...I'm sorry"
"You were an asshole, yes" Geralt gifted him with a smile full of teeth "To be fair i was behaving like a brat at the time"
"You are a brat, yes"
"Hey"
Jaskier wanted to say I love you, instead he kiss Geralt's lips softly.
Geralt wanted to do better, so better he did.
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Prompt: Veritaserum is one of the most powerful potions in the wizarding world, a few drops able to make the one who takes it to reveal their deepest secrets with no hesitation. So of course Fred and George learn how to make it for a prank, however it quickly backfires when they test it out on Y/N, who happens to have a crush on the older Weasley twin.
Warnings: swearing? Kind of angsty for like two seconds, That’s it really.
A/N: Sorry I haven’t written in so long, finals are kicking my ass and I barely have time to myself anymore. That being said, I hope you enjoy! This idea has been rattling around my brain for a while.
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You sat in the Gryffindor common room, sipping hot coco and enjoying the rare silence as you read a book. You had just gotten to the end of your chapter when a pair of red haired boys walked in, interrupting your solitude.
“Hello Y/N” George greeted you, sitting in the open spot next to you, George following his movements on the other side of you.
“What do you want?” You asked, not looking up from your book. You could tell by Fred's’ tone that he was planning something, and you had no interest in being a part of it.
“Now dear Y/N, why do you think we want something from you?” Fred asked, having a very similar expression to his brother.
Instead of replying you simply gave Fred a look as if to ask ‘do I look stupid?’ Fred got the message and his face shifted from a fake casual look to a smile.
“You know us so well” He laughed, causing you to shake your head and close your book.
“Unfortunately” You sighed, putting your book to the side to give the boys your full attention.
In fact, you did know the twins well, almost better than they knew themselves. You had met them in your first year, and when you were sorted into Gryffindor, the three of you became inseparable, in fact, you were one of the only people who were able to tell them apart. However, you couldn’t deny that you and Fred spent a bit more time together, whether it be in class or on the quidditch pitch, you were constantly making each other smile and laugh, and you knew you could tell him anything. Well, except for the fact that you also happened to have a massive crush on him since fourth year. That would remain a secret.
You watched as the boys moved to sit on the couch across from you, now facing you with a similar smile on their faces.
“We have what could quite possibly be, the best prank in Hogwarts history” George said, trying to sell you on their idea, which you still haven't heard.
“What would you say” Fred started “if you could ask Snape any question you wanted. Anything from test answers to the color of his underwear-”
“Eww” You interrupted
“Exactly! The blackmail potential, the humiliation, the revenge. What would you say?” George finished looking at you.
“I would say you’ve both lost your marbles. Snape hardly speaks let alone confesses those types of things” You said
“But what if... We had a way to make sure he did” Fred asked.
You finally put the pieces together, your jaw dropping to the floor. “How did you-”
“Snape has a book of rare spells and potions” George started
“And we checked it out for the weekend” Fred finished.
“So you stole it” You stated
“More like borrowed, for educational purposes” Fred argued
“Its all set up. We’ll sneak it into his pumpkin juice before class, spread out the word and by second period tomorrow, we’ll have gotten revenge from all the torment. All you need to do, is make sure the potion works” George said, making your eyes widen.
“I’m not taking that!” You practically yelled. You trusted the boys to not ask you any questions that were too personal, that being said, there was still a lot of room for embarrassment, or for the potion to go completely wrong.
“Oh come on Y/N, worst case scenario it doesn’t work” George defended, but Fred could tell you still weren’t convinced.
“Hey” Fred said, leaning forward and gently grabbing your hand, squeezing it comfortingly “I promise we wouldn’t ask if there were risks that could hurt you”
You were to focused on containing the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach from Fred’s touch to notice how George looked between the two of you, or how he suddenly seemed to have an idea.
“Ok fine” You said, causing the two boys to cheer, before George turned and dug out a small glass vial from his bag.
“Two drops should do the trick” George said, adding a few drops of the liquid into your drink from earlier. 
You picked up the drink and eyed it, considering backing out but the thought of finally getting back at Snape for humiliating you, and so many others took over. Taking a breath, you finished your drink and set down the mug.
“How long until it starts working?” You asked after a few seconds, not feeling any different.
“It should take effect immediately” Fred said, looking at you for any sign of discomfort or change in mood. “What’s two plus two?”
“Four” You said
“You need to ask better questions than that! Something to prove she can only tell the truth” George said, turning his attention back to you “How old where you when you had your first kiss?”
“Fourteen” You said, surprised at how the words seemed to tumble out of your mouth before you could stop them.
“What’s your most embarrassing story from Hogwarts?” Fred asked
“I once accidentally called Professor McGonagall mom in front of the entire class in first year... fuck you weren't supposed to know about that. Stop asking embarrassing questions you git!” You yelled at the older red head, who simply laughed and shook his head.
“No, I think this is quite fun actually” He said, before George continued.
The questions went on for a few minutes, asking you things from what your favorite color was, to the worst date you’ve ever been on, but finally, the two red heads seemed convinced.
“Alright, it seems like its working” George started, but the glint in his eye showed that he wasn’t quite finished yet. “Who do you have a crush on?”
You couldn’t cover your mouth fast enough. You couldn’t think to run away before the name was tumbling from your lips. You couldn’t do anything but sit and watch in horror, as you answered the question.
“Fred Weasley”
The room went dead silent, the only sound coming from the clock in the corner of the room. 
“Y/N I-” Fred started, but you stood up and ran out of the room before he could say anything else.
“I knew it!” George shouted with glee once you were out of earshot, causing Fred to whip his gaze to glare at his brother.
“George what the fuck!” Fred yelled, anger evident in his voice.
“What? You’ve been pining over her like a sad puppy for over a year. Now you finally know” George defended, watching as his older brother quickly stood to follow you.
You had ran as fast as you could, weaving through students and running through corridors before you finally found yourself sitting at a hidden spot by the black lake, finally letting the tears you had been fighting go.
You had liked Fred since fourth year. You had been yelled at in front of the whole class, and were so humiliated you skipped the rest of the school day. Fred had found you, and talked with you all day, making you laugh and smile, not leaving until you finally felt better.
Ever since then your feelings grew. This last summer, you had spent the summer at the Weasley’s and found it a bit hard to sleep one night. You had gone outside to watch the stars, and Fred had joined you. You spend hours talking about life, your futures, your friendships, and at one point, he had looked at you in a way that made you wonder if maybe your feelings weren't one sided. Now you could see that wasn’t the case.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching you. Without looking up, you already knew it was Fred. You were now sitting with your knees pulled into your chest, your chin resting on the tops of your knees as you looked out at the water.
“This spot taken?” Fred asked, motioning to the spot beside you. You didn’t answer, just shook your head, giving the boy permission to take a seat next to you.
“The potion should have worn off by now, so you shouldn’t have to worry about it anymore” Fred said softly, as if not to spook you.
“You don’t have to do this you know” You mumbles, still refusing to meet Fred’s eyes, who were now looking at you with confusion.
“Do what?” He asked
“Try and make me feel better. I know were friends and everything, but I know you don't feel the same way, and I’d really rather just be alone then pretend everything is ok between us.” You said, trying not to let anymore tears fall.
Fred heard these words and felt his heart break. Fred, unknown to you, had also shared your feelings. Your smile could light up any room. You were so unconditionally kind to everyone you met. Your laugh was his favorite sound, and he had made it his goal to try and hear it as often as possible. He had been trying to drop hints, flirtatious comments, or small gestures, and that one night at the burrow, where you were under the stars, he thought he had finally made it clear how he felt. Apparently not, and he didn’t want to waste any more time trying to be subtle.
“See, now I know the potion isn’t working anymore” Fred chuckled, causing you to look at him with a confused expression.
“What?” You asked
“I do feel the same way” Fred said softly
“Fred... you don’t have to say it if you don't-” You started
“Hold on” Fred interrupted, digging through his pocket and pulling out the same small vial from earlier, before tilting his head back and taking a swig. “Now ask me”
“Oh my god, Fred I-” You asked.
“Ask me who I have a crush on” Fred said simply.
“Fine... Who do you have a crush on Fred?” You asked quietly, almost afraid of what the answer would be.
“Y/N L/N” Fred answered, like it was the easiest thing in the world. 
“You do?” You asked, a smile forming onto your lips.
“Yes” He replied, a smile growing across his face as well.
“Well why do you like me?” You asked, a hint of teasing to your voice.
“Well, you’re beautiful, you’re the funniest person I’ve ever met, you are so kind to everyone you meet, you’re super smart, you have a great ass- wait fuck that wasn’t supposed to come out” Fred said, about to continue but you kept him from going on by finally closing the space between you and pressing your lips to his.
Fred responded instantly, smiling into the kiss before moving his hands to your waist, while yours went to hold his face. You stayed like this for a moment, moving in sync with each other before finally pulling away for air.
“Told you I liked you back” Fred said, making you laugh before re connecting your lips but only for a moment.
“So I’m the funniest person you’ve ever met?” You asked.
“Yes... hey not fair!” Fred complained, making you laugh once again.
“Ok ok fine” You said, allowing Fred to reconnect your lips once again, before breaking away again.
“You think I have a great ass?”
“Yes- Y/N!”
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A/N: Hiiiii! I hope you guys enjoyed! I’ll hopefully be writing more in the future since the school semester is slowing down a bit, but until then check out my other work if you want or leave a request. Thank you all for reading!
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ladyreapermc · 4 years
Text
Fic: Yes, Father (August Walker x Reader)
A/N: Hey folks. It has been a while. This piece has been sitting on my drive for over a month and I finally decided to post it. I hope you enjoy it. I based all the mass rites on my own experiences, even if it has been a while since I last went to church. 
Summary: AU! After much insisting, your fiancé convinces you to go to church with him and you find yourself strangely captivated by the priest celebrating the mass, which so happens to be your fiancé childhood friend.
Pairing: August x Reader
Genre: Smut; AU   
Wordcount: 2,9k
Warnings: smut (dirty talk and fingering); It’s worth noting that this is a seriously sacrilegious fic, so if you’re religious and think it might bother you or conflict with your faith, maybe it would be best not to read it.
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You were never one to particularly care for going to church or anything like that. You weren’t raised in any faith and if it was up to you, your future children would be educated the same, but it was so important to your fiancé James.
He came from a feverous catholic family and he grew up going to church, Sunday morning mass, and being part of every possible event his church was involved in. He was ever an altar boy growing up and he hoped that he could continue the tradition with his own children.
And after a lot of cajoling on his part, you agreed to start attending mass on Sunday morning with him. He promised that the current priest presiding his church wasn’t one of those misogynist and full of prejudice old farts but actually a good old friend of his.
“I promise you’ll enjoy August’s sermon,” James assured as you combed the inexistent wrinkles on your plain, knee-length grey dress.
James insisted you were being too conservative with your attire choice. That it looked more like you were going to a job interview than mass, but you rather be safe than sorry. His parents would be there as well and for some reason, that made you even more nervous with this whole attending to church thing. As ridiculous as it might sound, a part of you was slightly afraid of busting into flames the second you stepped through the threshold of the building.  
“Honestly, it still surprises me that out of the two of us, August was the one that ended up with the collar and not me,” your fiancé declared with a chuckle as he parked the car and you two stepped out to see a considerable group of people, mostly women from the looks of it, quietly making their way inside. “He was such a ladies’ man.”
“Doesn’t seem like much have changed,” you commented as the two of you walked up the steps, making him chuckle and nod.
James’ parents were already waiting and after a quick greeting, you were all made the way inside, miraculously finding seats in the front pews, right in front of the altar. The ample ship of the church seemed to amplify the buzzing of conversation all around, but it all came to a halt at the first chord of the piano.
The silence was heavy and it seemed to you that if someone dropped a pin, it would be heard by the very heavens. Finally, the eerie melody started and you felt your heart beating to the tempo of the music as everyone rose and the procession started.
Front and center, leading the group was a young boy, no older than 12, carrying the processional cross. The dark, shaggy hair and green eyes reminded you of James and you could picture your fiancé in your mind’s eye performing the same task as a child and it brought a smile to your lips.
You watched as the group advanced in time the melody playing, some members of the congregation carrying images of saints and other holy objects and finally, closing the group, Him.
Father August was a tall man, broad shoulders and built like a bull, the white and green clerical robes barely disguising his bulky form. His dark hair was neatly combed, one stubborn curl falling over his left eye but he seemed unaware as he walked and murmured the words of the hymn under his breath, his ocean blue gaze never wavering from the altar. He would look like the picture of a Godsent angel if it wasn’t for the dark stubble covering his face and the abominable mustache that in anyone else would look ridiculous but on him was actually attractive.
Heat rose to your cheeks as you realized your treacherous thought and your gaze fell to your polished shoes. You were really thinking of a priest as attractive? How much of a sinner could you be? Ashamed by the betrayal of your mind, you didn’t dare to look up again, not until the velvet smooth voice of Father August asked all to be seated and the ceremony started.
You let his voice washed over you as mass progressed as expected, taking your cues of when to rise or sit from James, that remained next to you oblivious to your suffering. You barely listened to the gospel reading or the adoration too focused on tracking Father August’s every move despite your best attempts of ignoring the handsome man presiding the celebration.
Finally, the congregation was seated once more to listen to his sermon. You kept your eyes on your clasped hands as August took his place at the pulpit and started speaking. You didn’t hear a word said, only the calm, husky tone of his voice that seemed to set your very soul on fire if the wet warmth between your legs was any indication.
Despite your brave attempts to keep your mind clean, you couldn’t help but daydream of that very same voice whispering all sorts of sinful pleasures in your ear. Clearing your throat, you dared to look up, finding his blue gaze fixed on you as he spoke and that was enough to set your heart racing and lock the breath inside your lungs. It felt as if Father August could see deep inside you, all the unholy thoughts you had been entertaining during his sermon.
Finally, he ended his speech and another hymn began. The congregation started rising, taking their place in line for Eucharist.
“You’re coming?” James whispered, startling you.
“I shouldn’t,” you replied quietly, your eyes darting to the priest feeding the congregation the wafer.
“Come on,” James encouraged with a smile and a wink. “No one will know.”
You rose from your seat against your better judgment. Your brain was unable to reign in the dark desire that pushed you toward the priest. As you took your place in line right behind James, your heart was pounding and your nerves wrecked as each step brought you closer to Father August, until finally, you stood in front of him, under his piercing all-knowing blue gaze.
“The body of Christ,” he spoke, voice haunting as he presented the wafer and your whole body shook as you let your lips part in welcome, eyes focused on his as he set the wafer on your tongue.
There was something so intimate and arousing at been this close to Father August, to let his thick fingers brushing against your lips as he fed you, his eyes darkening and his nostrils flaring as if he could see and smell your sin. Time seemed to stand still for a few seconds as you two stared at each other.
It took the small cough from someone behind you to break you from your spell and you scurried away, shame bitter and acidic in your stomach, drying your mouth and throat as you forced yourself to swallow the wafer and move back to your seat, feeling the weight of your guilt as you waited for the mass to be finally over.
You had hoped to be free from the priest as soon as the proceedings were over but instead Father August remained at the door, exchanging polite words with the members of the congregation, and of course, James and his parents got in line to speak to the holy man.
“Amazing work as always, my dear,” you heard James’ mom, Magda, said as she kissed Father August’s cheek. “But when will you remove that awful thing from your face?”
“I don’t know, mom,” James interjected with a smirk, hugging his old friend. “I think it suits him, gives him a star quality. Of the porn variety.” James’ mom gasped in horror, while August just chuckled.
“You’re jealous because you never managed to grow a single hair in that baby face,” the priest joked back, completely unfazed by the teasing as his gaze set on you. “And who is this?”
“Oh! You haven’t met my fiancé, yet…”
You barely heard the rest of James’ words as he ushered you forward, presenting you to Father August and as his large hand enveloped yours in a warm touch, you could feel the flitting throb between your legs once again.
No man had such an effect on you before, and you wished you could run away, put as much distance between yourself and the temptation in the form of a man.
“So, what did you think?” James asked once the two of you were in the safety of the car, on the way to his parents’ house for Sunday lunch.
“I know it might not seem like it, but it wasn’t my first time in church, James.” Your words earned you a chuckle from him.
“I know, sweetheart. I meant of August.”
“Oh!” You could feel the heat returning to your face as you shifted on your seat, looking away from him. “He seemed nice and you’re right, his sermon was ok.”
“Is ok enough for you to consider coming along every Sunday from now on?”
The look in James’ eyes was pleading, like a little puppy dog that was kicked out of the moving truck. The look of a man that was used to get his way and he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.
“I’ll think about it,” you conceded it as he pulled the car in the driveway, right behind his parents’.
It wasn’t like you could say no point-blank. Not without a good reason for it and saying you were lusting over his ordained childhood friend wasn’t exactly an option.
“That’s all I ask.”
James smiled brightly at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek before you two stepped out of the car just as a third vehicle pulled in the driveway, and the last person you wished to see got out.
August was donning a pair of black slacks and a black, long-sleeved dress shirt, the clerical collar being the only evidence of this man’s chosen career.
“I’m glad you could make it!” James greeted his friend cheerfully and August smirked.
“I wouldn’t miss this delicious…” he paused for just a second, his eyes flickering towards you, making you gulp and look away. “Meal for anything. Sister Agnes has many talents, bless her soul, but cooking isn’t one of them.”
James snorted, leading the way inside as August walked right beside you so close his arm brushed against yours, raising goosebumps on your skin as it tingled with the brief contact.
“Why don’t I help your mother?” you announced as soon as you crossed the threshold, trying to put as much distance between yourself and the priest as you could.
James didn’t protest. Instead, he led his friend into the sitting room and as you disappeared behind the kitchen door, you could almost feel the cold blue gaze of August on your ass, if that was even possible.
You managed to relax some as you helped Magda with the meal, chopping vegetables and stirring pots as the two of you talked about the upcoming wedding, only months away. You never thought you would be this excited about it, but you loved James with all your heart, and you couldn’t wait to become his wife.
The sound of the phone cut through your chatting and Magda’s face opened into a wide smile as she reached for her phone. It could only mean one thing: Her daughter Mary, who had been in a charity mission in Angola, was on the line.
“Go on,” you encouraged with a smile as you surveyed the kitchen. “I can manage everything.” She flashed you a grateful smile before scurrying off, phone already pressed to her ear.
You hummed to yourself as you worked, tasting the potato salad and adding a little more seasoning before your attention turned to the roast on the oven. You bent over to get a better look, smirking to yourself when you sensed someone standing right behind you, close enough you could feel the heat of his body,
Of course, you thought it was James. Who else would you expect? Instead, As you straightened up and glanced behind yourself, you were startled to find August there, browsing the pots over your shoulder. Too close for comfort.
“Father,” you croaked awkwardly, unable to really move without risking touching the man and that was the last thing you wanted. Your body was already heating up just by his mere presence. Anything else would be too dangerous.  
“Sorry for the intrusion, I wanted to give them some privacy to speak to Mary and I thought you could use some help.” His words were innocent enough but there was this edge in his voice… a sort of dark tone that made you doubt his intentions.
“That’s really thoughtful of you,” you managed, shimmying out of the way so you could move to the sink to start on the dishes. “But I got it covered.” The priest hummed in response and for a moment, a tense silence reigned between you two.
You were very aware of every sound, every motion of your body and his. You wished he would leave already or, against your better judgment, press closer, blanket your body with his, let those long, elegant fingers trace the skin of your thigh, inch under your skirt, and towards your throbbing cunt which was soaking your panties.
You let out a gasp, cutlery clattering loudly into the sink as your mind registered the filthy thoughts circling your brain. How could you? This was a man of God, for Christ’s sake, and a good friend of the man you loved.
“You know, James and I were always very close,” Father August spoke suddenly, making you start because once again he was standing right behind you, his hands resting on the marble of the sink in front of you. “We shared everything.” He whispered those words right in your ear.
One of his hands came to your stomach, not yet touching but close enough that you could almost feel it, the ghost of his fingers brushing the fabric of your dress, making your breath hitch and your body shake as it paused right at the edge of your skirt, hovering there so, so close…
“Please,” you whimpered, not sure if you were asking him to move away or touch you, even if your body was obviously aching for him.
Father August decided for you, dipping his fingers below the hem of your dress, tracing your thigh up until he found your center, the brush of his fingers featherlight against your drenched center.
“Dirty little slut,” he mocked, massaging your cunt and making you moan and rest against him. “I could tell all your filthy thoughts when you stood in front of me at the altar. Did you want to get on your knees and suck my cock in front of the entire church?”
“Yes, Father,” you whimpered, rocking against his light touch, desperate for more.
“In front of James?” he asked, pushing your panties aside and dipping one finger inside your hungry little slit that seemed to almost pull his digit in.
“Yes, Father.”
“Whore,” he clicked his tongue, fingering you roughly now, his middle finger buried almost to the third knuckle as the heel of his hand rubbed against your throbbing clit. The pad of his finger rubbing that sweet little spot, and all you could do was squeeze the sink and press your legs together around his wrist, keeping his hand trapped there.
“You better cum soon or James will find out exactly what kind of slut his fiancée is,” August taunted, his voice like smooth honey dripping against your ear as he rubbed his hard cock against your ass.
“Yes, Father,” you gasped, rocking between his hand and his erection, lost in the ecstasy of such filthy action. “I’m so, so close…”
“Do you want my cock, slut?” he asked, his other hand coming to your throat, squeezing just slightly and you nodded desperately as his motions sped up. “Want me to fuck that tight little pussy?”
“Yes, Father,” you gasped.
“You’re gonna come to the church on Wednesday. I don’t care what you tell James. Just be there.”
Even if you wanted, you couldn’t find in yourself to answer, your whole body going taut with pleasure as your orgasm washed over you. The sort of white-out ecstasy that blinded and deafened you to anything and everything around you with the exception of your body quivering and quaking and the gush of warmth soaking his hand, your thighs and dripping to the floor below.
“Good girl,” he murmured, pressing a soft, almost chaste kiss to your cheek.
Father August stepped away from you, hands in his pockets as you tried to recompose yourself just moments before the kitchen door opened and Magda walked in.
“Wednesday. Don’t forget,” he said, his smile, to anyone looking from the outside, was completely innocent but you caught the malice in his ice-cold eyes before he left.
“What’s on Wednesday?” Magda asked, checking the roast.
“Father August is just gonna help me with something,” you managed, brain still hazy with the aftershocks of your orgasm. “For James.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Magda grinned. “He’s such a good man, isn’t he? Our August. A true man of God.”
You could only nod, your voice caught in your throat. If only she knew…
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leviiattacks · 3 years
Text
Two Faced | Chapter Seven
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↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.
pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 2.6k author note :: ofc the reader would still be considered to be a duchess which is why it’s duchess!reader but i guess there’s just more themes of war and titans etc than i expected. so i guess it’s also cadet!reader ?? i promise i have a plan OK! T___T. anyways i hope that’s alright and not very confusing the original premise very much still stands!! :D also i promise levi gets better maybe soon who knows... → click here for the next part ! 
It's understandable why she's noticeably alarmed by the shift in behaviour, the concept of Levi showing any inclination towards caring about you is foreign to the both of you.
"The Duke has also been asking me and Mikasa the most peculiar questions too."
You blink. "What sorts of questions?"
"Ones concerning your past" She begins and your curiosity piques. "Asked if you ever mentioned anything about your old life. Basic information, I don't understand why he would ask now."
"He asked about me?" You question incredulously. This is surreal.
Bobbing her head up and down you stare closely at her trying to figure out if she's serious and she passes your test with flying colours.
You don't know if you should be nervous or afraid, perhaps he shifted back to his loving self for a while? Thousands of explanations surge past you but you can't pinpoint what exactly could have caused him to ask such questions. As far as you know, he's never been interested in you unless a transaction has been involved. That's all it's been since he snapped out of the spell. A purely transactional relationship.
Sasha places a firm hand on your shoulder "Talk to him, figure out what's going on." Her suggestion makes you shudder, frankly you're fearful around him after the events of yesterday night.
Whatever sick and twisted mind game he's playing at you won't let yourself become prisoner to it.
"No," You shake your head simply. "This is another one of his stealthy tactics, I won't give into it out of desperation."
"All the more reason to question where his morals lay." Sasha is persistent. The anxiety is burning itself into your body and it's tough to disregard its presence.
If there's one thing you have learnt in your lifetime it's to put trust in as little people as possible. You have your confidants and are dedicated to keeping your friendships with them. Sasha and Mikasa are loyal at heart and their steadfast nature is incomparable. But, they are anomalies. As much as you would like to admit that there are many diamonds similar to those two you can't.
It's rare to find reliable individuals in this harsh reality full of wealth, jealousy and power hungry survival. Levi, is a man you refuse to put even an ounce of trust into.
Putting any faith in him is hazardous. His unflappable demeanour, self-control, the knack he has for long-winded and gradual manipulation. Distant, bitter and calculating. You think he wouldn't care less if you were to drop dead this instant. In reality you aren't a human being to him, simply a problem out of the very many he already has. So why the sudden interest? Why? What is it he's after this time?
You've signed your life away to this empire under the ruse of becoming an informant. You're risking your life for him. What more does he want to coax out of you?
Those are the thoughts that scuttle past you as you pace in one of the very many hallways within the estate. Your initial destination had been his office but you retreat. For now you choose to withdraw from a battle of words. You aren't prepared.
But life has a way of never letting you pick when you encounter him.
The sound of footsteps behind you is a blunt indicator he's near but you let your naivety pray it's simply a maid. "Cadet." And there he is. Snarling behind your ear, breath blazing.
Cadet?
He must be able to tell you don't recognise the name which rolls off his tongue, especially when the two of you aren't in a professional setting, its placement is odd.
"What? Do you think you're worthy of a better term?" He's taunting you, disgusted that you're dense enough to think you're deserving of any other title.
Arms clasped behind his back he takes a long stride forward, you take a step back in response, he steps forward again and you move in the opposite direction again.
"I'm not used to it that's all. I know I am no Duchess."
His raspy voice creeps into your ear "Get used to it. You are my subordinate, don't assume this is a level playing field."
"Do you hop into all of your cadet's beds very often Sir?"
The question comes out of nowhere and as soon as the words have left your lips you slap your palms over your mouth taken aback just by how easy it is for the impulsive side of your brain to defy him.
"Really?" He asks darkly, and when you narrow your eyes in bewilderment, he coughs, clearing his throat to begin again. "Are you willing to bring this up right now?"
He's as close as ever now, if he moves an inch closer his nose will brush against yours, it suddenly feels difficult to breathe but you swallow the struggle away still unsure if you can force yourself to reply to his question. Is there a right or wrong answer?
For once, you choose to be selfish and put your interests before anyone else's even if that means risking your safety in the process. You just want to understand for once how his brain works.
Balling your fists into two you manage to squeak out what you've been holding back "Do you pry into the personal life of each and every one of your cadets or does that special rule only seem to apply to me?"
"Do you give all of your cadets random days off?"
"Do you-"
He grabs the back of your ponytail with his gloved hands, his skin isn't directly touching yours but the firm grip he has on you doesn't stop your cheeks from flooding with warmth. Fumbling around you're about to scream when he pulls at your hair again jestingly, his other arm moves to securely hold you keeping you stuck in the position you're in.
"Levi." You squirm around awkwardly trying to escape his grasp but he doesn't find this at all amusing.
"Captain." His firm correction catches you off guard.
"Sorry. Captain." Your throat is dry as you croak out the short reply.
Straightening your back you try to shake off the hold he has on your hair but he only tugs your head backwards warning you. Your bare neck is exposed and his eyes slip to your half done buttons. Rolling his eyes he knows if it were any other male member of the corps even the oh so respectable and mature Erwin Smith who caught you like this they would fantasize about how you look underneath that flimsy button up. It's now slipping down one of your shoulders.
Moving the arm that has been holding you down he jerks the fabric back up your shoulder.
"I was under that spell of yours. You're naive to think there's any other reason." He returns venomously, his voice is dripping in poison determined to exterminate any of the attitude you've shown him in the past two minutes.
"Why all the questions about my personal life? I was informed you interrogated a few of my friends."
He tugs at your hair again, you tilt backwards. "What do you hope to get out of this? Find out I have some sort of secret feelings for you?"
In the blink of an eye your bubble has been burst, deep down you did hope that was what this was about. It's not that you would like for him to love you, you wouldn't mind it but, if he loves you your safety is guaranteed that's all that matters. That's what you tell yourself. You don't miss the old him no you don't.
The colour drains from your face when you hear what he has to say afterwards.
"Adorable." His tone is spiked in mockery. "How fond you are of me, but I have no interest in the likes of you."
Heart leaping to your throat the simmering rejection settles.
"And. If you must know, you were given a day off today because Hange insisted every cadet have a day of rest before we all relocate to the training facility's dorms." You curse yourself, the transfer had slipped your mind completely.
"Got it? Fucking prissy princess." The expletive makes you wince.
Then he's silent, it's deafening and bizarrely you find his silence all the more daunting and menacing than when he speaks.
Wrestling yourself out of the grasp he has on your hair is your next move but he loosens his grip without being told to.
Levi allows for you to retreat with no further arguments.
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And just like that the rare day off goes past as quick as it happens.
You learn that ignoring Levi is your best bet at living a peaceful life within the walls of this Kingdom. Follow the orders he gives you and you almost always guarantee your own safety. Living. Even if it isn't a happy life you are aware there will be some pleasant moments. Living to experience those moments is the only motivation you have.
Erwin has said you would benefit from working with the rest of the cadets more often. It stops them from questioning why you receive personal training - after all they are unaware of the deal stricken up between you and Levi, it's understandable for the influx of questions.
You don't mind, after all training with Mikasa by your side for most of your days sounds more appealing in the long term. It usually gets lonely and tedious being alone. The prospect of being around the other cadets appeals to you too. You haven't actually had the opportunity to speak to very many of them and a few new members have apparently joined the ranks as of today.
Curiosity is kicking in, everyone is mumbling about the new cadets joining the squadron. You count as one of the new additions you suppose, there's no other explanation for why everyone whispers and murmurs as you stroll into the crowded training area with Mikasa by your side.
"Isn't she the one who banged her head?" muffled chuckles are heard but you pay no mind to the expected response, they'll soon be done talking about you when the next person in line embarrasses them self in your place. Levi's sharp tongue has conditioned you to pay no mind to the commentary of the other cadets. Nobody seems to be able to humiliate you in his fashion.
Mikasa doesn't take the same approach as you when greeted by the unwelcoming whispers, instead she whips her head in the direction of the insults, it looks as if she's thinking about careening one of her steel blades at the group just to instill some respect into them but the simple jerk of her body facing them is enough to make them rotate away in panic and curve the topic of discussion elsewhere.
She mutters something unclear under her breath, you would ask her to repeat her sentence but you're sure all she's done is call the boys infantile and stupid for the way they conduct themselves.
Everyone is introducing themselves and you familiarize yourself with some faces. Krista, the human embodiment of a dainty flower, she's as sweet as honey, A brunette ruffles her hair, she seems close to Krista, she doesn't even bother to introduce herself until she tells her too. Ymir, is her name.
Next you acquaint yourself with Connie, he's friendly and more than happy to converse with you, a breathe of fresh air from the cramped nature of the gossiping group from before.
Everything is going smoothly but then you feel a shoulder slink over your arm, it's not Mikasa it doesn't feel like her.
"You know Jean?" Connie is obviously very surprised.
That's when your eyes bulge out of your sockets in complete and utter shock at the slim chances of this possibility ever occurring, of all the people in all of the places, you just so happen to encounter Jean Kirstein again. He's a wildcard that's for sure.
It doesn't even cross your mind to think he could easily rat you out and ask why a noble woman such as yourself is here of all places. In fact, that concern is at the back of your mind far from your attention. You simply smile, happy to see a familiar face. You barely know him personally but from your last encounter you've been able to discern that he's welcoming and sociable.
He's incredibly friendly patting your head and completely bombarding you with questions "I would have never expected someone like you to show up." If it were anyone else you would have taken it as an insult but he's genuinely curious what brings you here, that much is obvious by his tone.
"Likewise Kirstein, I suppose we live in a small world."
You purposefully choose to not reveal much, you don't know who you can and can't trust.
He seems to catch on because he doesn't follow up on his inquiry. Instead he and Connie ask what part of Paradis you're from, what your parents do, all sorts. You're so engrossed in making up a somewhat believable story you don't even realize Kirstein's arm is still slung over your shoulder.
It's only until Hange yells "ATTENTION!" at the front of the training grounds do your notice the close proximity between you and your fellow cadet.
Slowly edging away from him you're swiftly able to detach yourself with no disturbances.
Hange is introducing themself, hands flailing in all directions and eyes wide describing how their additional role is investigating titans, they say if you're lucky enough maybe one day you'll be able to help with one of their secretive experiments. A towering blonde brute nearby whispers that Hange is eccentric and odd, a few others say it's surprising they're a superior.
Sensibly, you bury the frustration you feel down your throat, but God would you love if those childish fools kept their false opinions to themselves.
Erwin and Levi exchange looks probably deciding who speaks afterwards, it seem begrudgingly Levi agrees to take the stand.
The training ground abruptly falls silent.
Levi taking a step forward surveys the area and not once does he bother looking at you.
"Rules." His voice rumbles. "Which you all must follow." His gaze unusually centers in on Jean, you bear witness to how his form begins to tremble. Just one look from the Captain and he's about to dissolve.
The majority of his rules are basic and can easily be predicted, "You are expected to help with the cleaning. If your personal hygiene is that of a pig you may as well walk yourself out of the door now." His silver eyes are stabbing into the front row, most likely because Eren is there. He's apparently missed cleaning duty for two weeks now, it's miraculous how he's escaped unscathed.
After Levi is done wordlessly threatening Eren he rubs his hands together expectantly. Lips quirking up into one of his sharp cut-throat smiles he stares right at Jean. After a moment of silence he speaks with clarity. "No dating between cadets is permitted. No fucking either, sorry to disappoint Kirstein."
Metallic eyes are piercing into his wobbly form again and all of the cadets burst into a rupture of giggles. You too are about to join them. Truthfully, it is laughable that his notorious womanizing reputation is known even to the Captains.
But before you're able to laugh your breathe falters, you can practically feel jagged daggers twisting and digging into you. Quickly before he swiftly looks away you’re able to note Levi's eyes deliberately flick up in your direction, gaze boring into you, it burns.
You feel guilty but don’t know what it is you’ve done to produce such a hostile response.
Nevertheless, you can feel his scrutiny impale you.
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hela-avenger · 4 years
Text
To the Stars Who Listen- Part 4
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Author: hela-avenger
Word Count: 1863
Summary: When Loki desires to never fall in love, he casts a spell to prevent such a thing from happening. Except, well, in the matters of love and magic, you never know the result it may have in the end. Loki x Reader
A/N: Since I am surprisingly very ahead in my writing schedule I will be updating Tuesday and Thursdays for the rest of the month! I hope you enjoy this part! Tags are open! (Send me an ask/message/response.)
TTSWL Masterlist
“How do you have your powers?” you ask the moment you find Loki walking the hallways. He makes a sharp turn but you manage to keep up with him. “I thought the ankle monitor was supposed to prevent you from using them so how did you use them yesterday?” 
Loki’s pace quickens and you huff in annoyance. His long legs allowed long strides which left you at a disadvantage. You made up for the increasing distance by practically jogging to remain by his side. 
“Come on tell me.” 
You grab a hold of his wrist forcing Loki to look at you. Something ignites within you as you stared into his eyes. You could feel the answer to your question at the tip of your tongue. It was brushing against your mind in a teasing manner.  
Loki takes immediate notice of the manic glint in your eyes and is quick to tear himself away from your trance. 
“Stop that,” he snaps. “Do you have any idea of what you’re doing?” 
That seems to really break you as you shake your head from the haze it was pulled into. You frown and take a step back. 
“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…” 
You stumble back from him blind to the mail cart that was coming your way. Loki barely manages to see it when it hits you right on your hip sending you crashing down to the ground.
“Y/N!”
The distracted intern is quick to pull their headphones out muttering a string of apologies. You don’t pay them any mind as you felt an intensity start to grow throughout your body. 
“I’m so sorry Agent Y/N. I didn’t see you cause I was strolling Instagram on my phone because this job gets so boring sometimes. I am really sorry though! I really need the money so please, please, please don’t report me to…” 
The intern helps you up and you find yourself lured by the confessions that are falling from their lips. 
“Keep going,” you tell them. “Tell me everything.” 
“Not another word,” Loki exclaims at the intern before pulling you away. “Now go!” 
Loki then turns to you. 
“Stop and gain control of yourself.”  
“I want to hear the truth and you have eagerly taken their place.” 
You pull all that power inside you and haul it into your hands. You take up the lapels of his suit and slam him into the nearby wall. 
“Speak the truth.” 
Loki is rightfully surprised by the sudden strength you displayed at the moment. 
“Your powers have certainly grown since last night.” 
The words manage to stir you but not enough to gain full control.
“Why am I-” you scowl as you notice the position you’re in. You feel like your brain is made of cotton as you tried to make sense of the last few minutes. “Ugh, I can feel it everywhere. It’s pulsing through my mind pulling me deeper inside.” 
Loki can feel your hands shake but they did not release him. 
“Nat told me everything. You promised to train me. You promised to teach me control because if I didn’t… I could die.” 
You look up pleading at him for help. 
“Please, do something,” you whisper. “I can feel it burning.” 
Loki takes a hold of your wrists not needing to pull on his seidr to look for yours. It was pulsing lively right at the tips of your fingers. 
“You want to know how I unlocked your handcuffs with a snap of my fingers?” Loki asks. “You want to know how I got an ounce of my power back?” 
Eager to know the truth, you nod. 
“Like this.” 
You watch as his hands begin to feel warm on your skin. 
“I’m siphoning a bit of your power to myself,” Loki explains. “I can’t take much because of the monitor, but it is enough to be able to do trivial things like unlock doors and handcuffs.” 
He releases you but you can still feel it pulsing through your veins. 
“It’s still too much.” 
No confession of any kind could sate the power within you. The power had grown enough to desire a physical outlet. 
“Hit me,” Loki offers. 
“What?” you exclaim in surprise.
“Hit me.” 
Your hands are now itching for the violence but Loki didn’t deserve it. Even if he was asking for it. 
“I am the God of Lies,” Loki continues. “They call me Silvertongue for the way I can spin stories that will make you even doubt the truth you just told. I am everything you despise. So… hit me.”
The burning in your veins intensifies and you are quick to release him just so you could slam your hands to the wall beside him. Loki is trapped between you and the wall but he’s well aware of the damage you’ve inflicted. 
The wall cracks and splinters reaching the ceiling which then causes some flakes of plaster to snow down onto you both. 
You feel light. 
You can breathe freely now and your thoughts are clear and concise. 
Loki watches as you return to yourself. The power quickly retreating after having its needs met. You look defeated as you warily look up at him.
“I’m really dangerous, aren’t I?” 
Loki simply pulls your hands away from the wall holding them in his own.
“You were always dangerous,” Loki states. “We all are.” 
“But I could really hurt someone now,” you argue. “Just look at the wall!” 
Loki doesn’t need to because he felt the strong pulse himself. 
“I thought we had a few more days but your powers have grown exponentially since I last saw you. For that misconception, I apologize.”
“So what do we do now?” 
The answer to your questions comes from an unexpected source. 
“Stark will like to see you both in the conference room.” 
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Tony, Steve, and Thor are the ones waiting for you in the conference room. They all shared a grim expression which did nothing to ease your nerves. You look up at the screen that Tony has up that displayed the image of you, Loki, and the cracked wall. 
Loki casually takes a seat at the table but you can’t bother to do the same. 
“So you know.” 
“FRIDAY made me aware of the situation,” Tony states as he waves the screen away. “You lost control.” 
“Yeah, well I’ll pay for the damages,” you answer. “And I should probably apologize to the intern…” 
“Don’t worry about it,” Tony interrupts. “I’ll handle everything.” 
Tony looks over at Steve and nods for him to jump in. 
“We’ve all discussed it and thought it would be best for you to be relocated to the uptown Avengers Facility. You’ll be safe and have ample space to practice and gain control of your powers.” 
“I’ll also be away from everyone,” you point out. 
“For your safety,” Steve reassures. 
“And for theirs,” you state with a heavy sigh. “Ok, that’s… that’s a smart decision.” 
Loki rolls his eyes at your submissiveness. He raises his hand to warrant their attention which he’s quick to receive. 
“What does that mean for me?” he asks. “I am meant to train her.” 
“We know,” Thor steps in. “And it has been decided that you will be moved alongside with Y/N to continue her training. You will be restrained with the same rules but you will be free to move anywhere around the property there. I think you will enjoy it, brother.” 
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Loki mutters as he leans back in his chair. “When do we leave?” 
“Tonight,” Steve answers. 
“And just before you get any ideas,” Tony asserts with a glare in Loki’s direction. “The standby Avengers are currently residing there and they are well aware to keep an eye on you. So if you step out of line, you’ll be sent back here and locked into your room and your room alone.”
“The threats are completely unnecessary,” Loki chuckles. “I already gave my word I would help.” 
“He’s right,” Thor agrees after his brother. “As long as it benefits him, Loki will do as told.” 
Steve nods believing him while Tony remains suspicious. He glared at Loki waiting for the fallen prince to break. 
Loki didn’t. 
“As entertaining this staring match is, can I please have the room?” you ask them. “I just… I just need to clear my head of some things.” 
“Of course,” Steve nods. “Be ready by 7. I’ll fly you guys out there.” 
“Lovely,” Loki comments as he starts to rise from his seat. You’re quick to grab a hold of him and motion for him to remain in his spot. 
“Stay,” you ask him. “I have some questions for you.” 
You ignore the shared look of concern between your teammates as you focused on Loki alone. They filter out of the room with hesitation but don’t offer a comment. The moment they leave the room you take the seat next to Loki and speak. 
“I know we’re not friends, I know you don’t owe me anything, and I also know you’re only doing this to gain your freedom from that ankle monitor but can you please be honest with me?” 
Loki notes how tired you look now. It was something he had never seen in you before which was making him act in a similar manner, promising something he rarely does.  
“I’ll be honest.” 
Sensing that he spoke true, you ask the question that has been bothering you since this whole thing began.
“Why me?” you ask. “Why do I have this power? Why am I cursed with it? It makes me cruel and vindictive and I hate it. Why me?” 
“I don’t know why it chose you,” Loki answers. “But it only further confirms that you are truly special if it didn’t kill you. As for your supposed curse, this power is simply trying to protect itself. You’ve been attacked twice now which is when this cruel alter ego of yours arises. The moment you gain control these incidents will no longer occur.” 
You run your hand through your hair unhappy with his answer. 
“So how are you going to teach me control?” I ask him. “You said it yourself. You’re the God of Lies. What do you know about the power of Truth?” 
“I, out of everyone, should know the extent power of the Truth,” Loki states. “If I didn’t, then how would I comprehend my own gift of lies.” 
You seem displeased at his response.  
“Without the truth, lies wouldn’t exist,” he continues. “We are two very necessary sides needed for balance.” 
“I’m just human and you’re a God,” you remind him. “This delicate balance is off.” 
Loki reaches for your hand surprising himself with the act. He wonders if this was your doing again. Your power making him act on his empathetic emotions that he rarely paid attention to. 
“You will gain control of your powers,” Loki states. “And when you do, it won’t matter if you’re human and I’m a God because you might find yourself even stronger than I.” 
You find yourself surprised when you notice that the words he’s spoken are completely true.
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TTSWL Tag: @catsladen @is-it-madness @manyfandoms-marvel @mejusttryintogetby @illogicalfangirl @ariel-snow-tmnt @islinglivesinshire @musicconversedance @missmadwoman @smaranshakthi @adaydreamingdragon @poetic-fiasco @like-a-wildfire @jasminecalia @ha-tep @charbokbok @setsuna-meiou31 @ms-blvck @country-cowgirl-101 @bepo-is-sorry
Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-nightshade @aoirohi @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @just-a-donut-who-reads @day-dreaming-fox
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1a-imagines · 5 years
Text
"I love you."
{Overview: You say "I love you" for the first time.}
{Type: headcannons}
{Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki.}
[[A/n: I'm trying out a new kind of style for my posts. I made the little picture things to make it look a little more fun and eye catching. Tell me what you guys think? Does it look ok? I figure it looked s bit better than just block text?]]
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It happened during one of those softer moments you two shared.
It was late, and you were alone together, cuddling on his bed after a hard day.
It was peaceful and Bakugo was on the verge of sleep when he heard your whisper those sweet words under your breath.
"I love you."
His eyes shot open and he was met with your flustered face staring back at him in shock.
You thought he had been asleep.
"What did you just say?" He asked you as he stared right into your eyes.
He was in disbelief (not that he'd ever admit to it)
He watched as you squirmed around from your position on his chest, you hid your face by shoving it into his torso.
"I-I said, I love you! I-I thought you were asleep! I'm sorry if it's too soon! I know we've only been dating a few months-"
Your voice was drowning out as the sound of his own pounding heartbeat filled his ears.
You loved him.
His eyes slowly got wider and the blush on his cheeks growing more and more with each second that you rambled on.
He placed a hand on your shoulder and made you look up at him.
He heard you suck in a breath as you made eye contact.
You were, surprisingly, even more red than he was.
He grabbed your chin between his thumb and index finger before pulling you closer, your noses brushed together.
"Say it again." He whispered, a lot softer than before.
He didn't realise until that moment how much he had been longing to hear you say those words.
"I love you."
For once, he didn't even try to fight back the smile that made its way to his lips.
It was a cocky smile, but a smile nonetheless.
He brought you into his arms, squeezing you tightly as he buried his face into your neck.
It was one of those hugs that made you feel safe, it was filled with emotion as he cradled you in his arms.
He held your head in one of his hands as he pressed a firm kiss on your cheek.
He bit his lip as he tried to force the smile away.
What had you done to him? He probably looked like such an idiot right now.
Three simple words from you had made him the happiest guy in the world.
His hands clenched up at the overwhelming amount of emotions he felt.
He had never experianced anything like this.
You pulled back from the hug just so you could stare into his eyes again and that was when he realised he should probably say it back.
He tensed up at the thought and huffed, his cheeks were burning as he turned his head away from you.
It was so Damn embarrassing!
He tried to say it back but instead all that came out was;
"Good! And so you should!"
He heard you laughing at his response, it confused him but he was glad you were pressuring him to say it back.
You knew better than anyone that it wasn't going to be that easy for him.
You said a quick goodnight before pecking his lips and slowly falling asleep on his chest.
He, however, was wide awake now.
He stayed awake for hours after, petting your hair softly as he watched your peaceful sleeping face.
His mouth still ghosted a smile as he replayed those words over and over in his head.
"What a dumbass..." He huffed softly through his nose as he brushed the hair away from your forehead and pressed a kiss to it.
You were too Damn good for him.
"I love you too" he whispered into your ear, "I really, really do."
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You two were out at the hero's museum when it happened.
He was off on his rambles again, talking about each hero and how he admired them all in a different way. (You didn't even have to read the plaques, you practically have your own tour guide!)
He was in his zone and you couldn't help but admire how cute he was.
His hand was firmly gripped onto yours as you walked beside him, listening to every word.
After awhile, he noticed you were staring at him with a love struck gaze and a big goofy smile on your lips.
He immediately got embarrassed and sunk his face into his jacket.
"What is it? W-Was I talking to much again?"
You shake your head and he watched as you took a step forward, brushing some stray hair behind his ear before meeting his big green eyes.
"No. I was just thinking about how much I love you."
There it was.
He sucked in a deep breath as you had knocked all the oxygen out of his lungs.
Subconsciously his hand tightened around yours as his heart filled with this unknown feeling, it felt like he was about to explode.
What this what it felt like to be madly in love with someone?
He barely held back the small whimper of joy as his heart clenched in his chest.
You loved him?!
You really loved him!?
He pressed his hand over his heart. Trying to calm it down.
His face was burning so much he thought he might faint.
You made his legs go weak as your words struck him right through the heart.
You're too cute.
"I-i-i love you too!!" He squeaked out in embarrassment, it didn't help that you two were in public either.
He wished he could've said it back as sweetly and confidently as you had but it only came out rushed and embarrased.
He heard you giggle happily at his reaction before placing a kiss on the top of his head.
"So what were you saying about this hero?"
He tried his best to act like nothing had happened, like it wasn't such a big deal to him.
But he couldn't.
He could barely speak afterwards, his mind was too preoccupied with replaying those words in his head.
It was safe to say he had successfully embarrased himself several times by stuttering over his words and walking into things.
It was like he was in a dream induced daze for the rest of the day.
He was just glad his legs were still functioning.
The poor boy really hadn't been ready.
Even after your date ended and he walked you home, all he could think about was how you had said it with such confidence!
It was so sincere and it had melted his heart right to the core.
At the end of the day he collapsed onto his bed, pushing his, still burning red, face into his pillow.
"They love me.." he whispered happily, tears pricking at his eyes.
He was so happy, he felt like the luckiest guy in the world.
There's a 100% chance that he was going to think about that moment every second of every day for at least the next 3 weeks.
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He hadn't been in a particularly good mood that day.
He was quieter than usual and kept his distance from everyone.
Of course he didn't expect anyone else to notice since it wasn't any different from how he usually acted.
But it was made clear to him that you had caught on after awhile.
After dinner, he sat up in his dorm room and as soon as he heard a knock at his door he knew exactly who it was.
He let you in and instead of doing what he thought you would, and questioning him about his behaviour, you surprised him by simply trying to take his mind off whatever it was that was bothering him.
You took him out for a late night walk in the park which really helped clear his head.
There was nothing more relaxing than holding your hand in his as you wandered around the lake.
It was peaceful.
Just the two of you and the moonlight that was shimmering on the lakes surface.
Todoroki was more than thankful for your presence, you were able to take his mind off all his sorrows.
You complimented him for no reason, talked about his interests and asked how he was doing lately. You even cracked a few terrible jokes in hopes of getting a smile out of him.
It was perfect, even if he couldnt understand your strange sense of humour.
As curfew rolled around you made your way back to the dorms, the common room was dark and empty as you had expected.
Just as he was about to bid you goodnight you pulled him into a, unexpected, tight hug.
Not being used to the affection it took him awhile to relax into it.
He placed a hand on your back.
He was unsure if it was the right thing to do but you didn't push him away so he assumed it was fine.
You looked up at him with a big grin, your eyes shimmering with sincerity.
And that's when you said it.
"I don't know what you're going through and if you don't want to talk; you don't have to. But you know should know, I will always love you now matter what!"
There was a long silence.
His lips parted slightly as he stared down at you, taking time to process your words.
It took him awhile to realize what you had just said to him.
He couldn't believe it and he was tempted to ask you to repeat yourself so he could hear it again.
His heart was pounding in his chest, he wasn't used to this- he didn't know what to do.
He felt his cheeks involuntarily heating up.
Was this normal?
It felt like you had cast some sort of spell on him. That was the only way he could describe it.
His words got caught up as a lump formed in his throat.
He did his best to swallow it down but, hearing someone he cared so much about saying they loved him, it was more than he could handle.
How long had he waited for a moment like this to come?
He had been craving for love and affection for so long, and now you were here.
His angel, his reason to smile.
"I-.."
You pressed a finger to his lips to shush him.
"You don't have to say it back, I know it's not easy for you. I just wanted you to know."
His usually cold eyes softened as he stared down at your beautiful smile.
He removed your finger from his lips, holding your hand in both of his much larger ones.
He slowly leaned down and wrapped both arms tightly around your waist. Pulling you into his chest and he pressed his face into your hair.
It surprised you, and even himself.
He rarely initiated the affection in the relationship, and yet here he was. Practically clinging to you.
His body had reacted before his brain could, but it felt right.
It felt right to have you in his arms right now.
His heart was so full of love for you.
He wanted to say it back. No. He had to say it back.
It was the truth. He was in love with you, and there was no denying that.
He released a shakey breath as a single tear slipped down his face from all of overwhelming happiness he felt.
"I love you too, more than you will ever realize."
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fallingfor-fics · 3 years
Text
Teachers Pet-chapter 21: occlumency
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All chapters
Chapter 20
"So how is this gonna work?" I said taking off my robes and laying them on the table. He finally looked at me and for a second and looked as if he was already tired of me. I folded my arms waiting for instructions. "First off I want to know what you know already?" he asked leaning against his desk. "Well Beauxbatons taught me pretty much everything well I read a book there about it, except how to actually do either" I said smiling up at him. 
He hummed in response and thought for a moment "And may I ask for the real reason as to why you want to do this?" he said brows furrowed. I looked around for a second thinking up a good excuse. "I just don't want anyone in my head" I said looking down. "And you would also like to get into people's heads as well?" he said a sarcastic look on his face at my doubled sided statement. "Well why did you learn how?" I said looking at him and leaning against my table. "I had to." he said in a cold tone as if to say don't ask anymore questions. "Look if you don't want to do this you don't have to," I said looking sad and turning to grab my robes. "Y/n it's fine, plus Albus suggested that it wasn't such a bad idea" he said quietly, I paused for a moment, turning to him confused. He told Dumbledore? "What? You talked to Dumbledore about me?" I said more confused and worried than anything. He sat up straight off his desk and his face displayed a look of guilt almost. Like he wasn't supposed to say that. "Yes, I asked him for permission." he said turning and fiddling with papers on his desk. I'm not amazing at reading Severus since he was so hard to read, but I sensed he was lying and walked over to him. "Why did he think it was a good idea?" I said suspiciously and raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to speak but then paused for a moment. "You'll have to ask him yourself." he said, still not looking at me, whatever he wasn't telling me I would find out one way or  another. "Severus" I said in a more confident tone, to which he looked up at me with a glare. "Are there people that want to invade my mind?" I said spitting out any conspiracies I was cooking up in my head, I remembered the night when I was spying on him and Dumbledore's conversation about the Death eaters in Hogsmeade, they were talking about a girl and I still wondered if it was me, and that's why he was so secretive. "What no of course not if there were I'm sure you'd know" he said reverting back to his normal cold tone. As if he could intimidate me at this point. "Let's begin shall we?" he said, stepping around from behind his desk.
We stood apart from each other but first Snape raised his wand locking the doors. I looked back from the door to him, I guess he didn't want anyone to disturb our lesson. "Relax, and clear your mind of all thoughts and emotions, make it blank and calm" he said in his silky voice. Yeah cause this is so easy to do when all I can think about is the very man in front of me. "Okay." I said closing my eyes and doing my best to clear my head. "I'm going to attempt to enter your mind, now this may seem scary if you don't succeed in deflecting it, but it's going to be hard to get it on your first try." he said in a more apologetic tone, "Try not to see all my thoughts please" I said worried, I was determined to not let him in at all, I couldn't risk him seeing my feelings for him, I didn't consider the part about him actually having to try to read my mind in order for me to protect it. "I can only see if you allow it, now once I say the word you are going to start out with a simple shielding spell, or you can try a disarming spell on me understand?" he said and I nodded smiling "Although I prefer you don't do the second" he said in a serious tone.
I closed my eyes once more and cleared my head, numbing my body and looking into my mind and silencing everything else around me. I took a deep breath and slowly nodded my head, my hands sweaty, signaling I was ready. Shield my mind, this should be easy. I pulled my wand from my skirt and steadied my feet. "You must shut down your mind the minute I speak and the moment you feel me get into your head, it's going to be tricky your first try, so be prepared." he said softly. I kept my eyes closed, I didn't want to risk looking into his eyes and leaving my mind vulnerable. "Is it going to hurt?" I asked before he began. "No, although it may uncover hurtful memories" he said in a more somber tone. I shook my head and got ready. I heard him let out a breath and felt him raise his wand, "Legilimens" he said softly. I could feel him enter my mind almost instantly, it was a strange feeling, just them I saw memories flash before my eyes. Me seeing my mom cry, it was like I was on display for him to see, I was almost in that moment again. I tapped her shoulder, she yelled at me. Snape was trying to stay out of the more personal parts of my mind, although that was a difficult task. It was gone fast as soon as it ended, a new one popped up. My first day at Beauxbatons, a big smile on my face as I walked in, my blue shiny new uniform. Another, my second year, the mean girls that picked on me, this was when they decided to ruin all my textbooks by throwing them in the toilets. He seemed to move on quicker from that one, then it was my fourth year, my sister was talking to me about defending myself against them, teaching me the spell to get them off my back, her smile and her comforting voice, telling me "you won't have anymore issues with them" smiling and hugging me. I tried shielding my mind, I didn't want to see anymore, and I didnt want him to see them either. I kept muttering a shielding spell trying to focus it but it didn't work. I felt him exit my head and I opened my eyes with a small gasp.
   "Are you ok?" he said in a comforting tone. I looked up at him breathing out, "Yes, im fine, I tried but clearly it didn't work." I said looking down. "That is ok we can take a break." he said softly. "No lets go again" I said confidently, I was gonna figure this out one way or another, and taking a break wouldn't help. "As you wish." I closed my eyes again taking a deep breath and making sure my mind was empty again, I focused on the quiet and tried my best to not have a single thought. He raised his wand "Legilimens" he said once again and I tried my hardest to shield it, I didn't feel him in my head yet, but I could feel him fighting it, I pushed as hard as I could to resist it, but I let it slip by thinking about the man that was standing before me that was watching out for me. This time he was in a different part of my head. Me and my sister watching a movie, turning up the volume to drown out the sound of our parents arguing, "they are foolish" she said trying to lighten the mood, "I wonder what they argue about all the time" I said looking at the door, "Nothing important" she reassured me smiling down at me and turning back to the movie. I squeezed my fist around my wand trying to get him out, but another memory began to play, this one more deep. I was standing in the living room, my dad going on about how Albus shouldn't visit anymore. I never understood why he had a newfound hatred for the kind man, it almost came out of nowhere, the same time he began to grow cold to us and changed into a man that wasn't my father. A man that didn't care. "But dad I don't understand? What did he do?" I said, raising my voice to him. "Thats none of your concern! It's between him and me!" he yelled, "He's my godfather you can't just kick him out of my life for no reason!" I yelled back, I was never afraid to fight my father. He continued yelling, but Snape skipped through. The next one that showed up was a particularly dark day, I was sitting on the stairs, wearing a black dress I had stashed away now, tears rolling down my cheeks. It was the day of my sister's funeral. My mom and Dad stood in the living room not aware of my presence, they were arguing as usual, I never understood why they couldn't remain civil for one day. "Our daughter is right upstairs and she just lost her sister, we do not need her hearing us argue today!" my mother yelled at him, I couldn't recall what they had been arguing about in the first place. "I know i'm not an idiot!" he yelled hands up in the air, "This is all your fault and you know it, thats why you wont even bring yourself to talk to her, Constance would still be here if you hadnt made that stupid mistake!" my mom cried out. I always wondered what she meant by this, I never understood why she would blame my father, as far as I knew what had happened was not something we could have prevented. I never brought myself to ask. I stood from my spot on the stairs and they looked over in my direction. I looked at them with a cold expression, "You're an awful person" I said to my father with tears in my eyes, "Connie knew it, and I know it, and so do you." he grew red in the face as I continued. "I don't know what's infected your mind, what's caused you to act...crazy, but you need to kill it before someone else does!" I said, raising my voice, venom lacing every word. This was the most morbid thing I'd said to my father, but I never punished myself for saying it. "You little bitch! Who do you think you are talking to?" he said growing more angry, he began stepping closer to me getting in my face, I didn't falter, I was never gonna let this man know he got to me. "It should have been you, a million times it should have been you!" I yelled, hot tears running down my face, only this time I could actually feel them, and they were real. He grew nearer and I recalled what happened next, this wasn't something I wanted Severus to continue to watch, almost forgetting he was in my mind uncovering these messes, I squeezed my eyes tight and fought with everything in me, shielding the rest of my brain and slowly attempting to shove him out. I needed to be able to do this, I know I can. He ended the memory and a new one popped up, I was taken aback not expecting him to get to this part. It was the night in the astronomy tower, he was there talking to me. No he can't see this, he would find out too much, and I would never be able to face him again. I pushed this memory out controlling my emotions to where it was out of his reach, and blocked off, it only triggered another memory, this one even more recent. I was brewing Amortentia, Draco had just taken a whiff, It was my turn. Come on y/n don't let him get this far, focus. "Your turn! Better hope it doesn't smell like filch!" I leaned over the cauldron taking in the scent. No come on focus calm yourself, he cant find out. Leather shoes. Relax. Parchment. Clear your mind of all emotions. Firewhiskey. I released my grip on my wand, relaxing my whole body and resisting, pushing him out further and further. The memory slowly faded away. Come on. I let out a breath and the memory disappeared completely. I felt nothing and my body was cold. I opened my eyes and saw Severus standing in front of me, somber look on his face, breathing heavily. I turned away from him, sniffling and quickly wiping the tears off my face. I didn't want to see his expression. He knows why I was crying and why I wouldn't tell him. "Y/n." he said calmly. I breathed out, my heart beating fast. "Y/n look at me" he said softly. I fiddled with my fingers and turned back to him, not looking in his face still. What is he gonna think? What will he do? I can't even fathom what he's gonna say. "I'm sorry." he said kindly "What for? You just did what you needed." I said shaking my head and looking up at him. "You did good, it was your first try and you were able to get me out." he said with a small smile. "And what about what you saw?" I said looking in his deep black eyes. I needed to know, I didn't want him ignoring it. I needed to know what he thought or else I would go insane. He stepped closer to me, "Your sister seemed lovely" was all he said and I looked at him confused, "And your father was indeed as you described him" he added. What was he talking about? Doesn't he know this isn't what I meant? He's a smart man, why is he being so oblivious. "That's not what I'm talking about," I said quietly. He looked in my eyes and almost stared through me, reading my expression, he stiffened up a bit, but his face seemed apologetic. "I see no need in picking through your personal matters Y/n" he said, turning to walk over to his desk. I picked up my wand and followed him over. He can't just leave it at that. Not after what he's just learned. "This was a bad idea, I should have never suggested we do this, I let my pride get in the way and didn't consider the consequences" I said looking down at my feet. "Ms. L/n I do not know what you mean, you did exceptionally well." He said in his more normal cold abrasive tone. "My Amortentia" I stated, looking up at him to try and read any expression he may have, he looked away for a moment then back at me. "It's late, we have taken up a lot of time, you should go to your dormitory, we will continue on Friday. And i'll see you for tutoring tomorrow" he retorted sitting down in his chair and grabbing papers to grade. I stood shocked, why was he avoiding it? Was he gonna tell Dumbledore? Was he gonna have me expelled? But he just sat there not giving me another thought. I grabbed my robes and slowly walked towards the door. "Goodnight Y/n, I'm very proud of how well you did." he said in his usual tone, not looking up from his papers. Why wouldn't he talk about it? Were we just going to pretend like nothing happened? Did he not understand what this meant? I had so many questions. I took a breath easing my thoughts. "Goodnight Severus" I said as I walked out and headed to my room.
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chaotically-cas · 3 years
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29 Things I Think Allistic People Need To Hear
From an autistic person
Not my usual content but I felt it needed to be said.
Saying “everyone is a little autistic” is really hurtful. Yes, everyone has their struggles but these struggles are far different for autistic people. Saying everyone experiences it is invalidating & harmful.
Being graded on eye contact & standing still is wrong. I’m pretty sure at one point or another we’ve had a project we were graded on & one of the grades was eye contact & not fidgeting. These things are extremely hard for autistic people & they are practically second nature. It’s like holding in a sneeze.
Stim & figget toys in schools. Of course fidget spinner’s & stim cubes can be bought & should be bought by anyone. If you want one, get one. But the way schools are banning them is crazy. They are very necessary for autistic people & it’s so much harder for them when schools ban their use.
QUITTTTT BABYING US!! We aren’t ‘uwu babies’. We are humans. We are perfectly capable of functioning without allistic people’s pity & looking down on us. We are our own people that don’t need a hand to hold in every damn situation. We aren’t cute because of it. 
Listen to autistic people. Everyone is all for advocating for people until that group of people want to advocate for themselves. So shut up & listen once & maybe you can learn something you didn’t know.
Creative writing in class is difficult. You don’t know how many bad grades I’ve gotten on because I can’t think of a good story out of my ass. It’s extremely hard for autistic people. Please give us a prompt it’s more helpful than you know.
Role playing in class. I think we’ve all had to do something where we research a famous person & have to assume their identity. This is again, so hard for autistic people. It’s hard enough for us to be ourselves. Most of us can’t understand these actives enough.
Slurs. Quit saying retard. It’s not an insult. It’s not funny. It’s offensive & every time you use it you’re hurting a disabled person & spreading harmful stereotypes. It’s not just a word. It’s not just a bad word. It’s a slur. Same as the f word or any other slur. Don’t use it.
People talking over us. No I dont mean just in conversations. Although that is another issue. I mean organizations like autism speaks that put words into autistic peoples mouths instead of letting them speak for themselves.
Stop making fun of our special interests. Whether you find anime cringey or think an adult loving Aladdin is childish just stop it. These things being extreme joy to us. They make us happy in a word that we don’t understand. So just leave us alone & let us be happy.
Don’t stare at us if we’re stimming. Especially in public. If you see me flapping my hands. Don’t stare. If you hear me humming quietly, don’t judge. These activities aren’t for your viewing pleasure. They’re for autistic people to regulate & express how they’re feeling.
Normalizing ableism. It’s so normalized. Whether it’s phrased like “suffers from autism” or how regularly ‘retard’ is used in classe; ableism is so often over looked especially by adults. There are no many micro aggressions they are just passed off as us not having a thick enough skin. When in reality it’s really damaging.
People first language. If you ever correct someone by saying “no, they’re a PERSON with autism. Not an autistic person”. Literally shut up. We’re autistic. We’re people. Being autistic doesn’t make us any less human so you don’t need to make it seem like it does. We’re still human no matter our disably. People don’t have to be reminded of this.
Using words like psychopath & sociopath. Calling autistic people these things just because you don’t understand us is disgusting. If you don’t understand these terms don’t use them. Just because we aren’t good at showing empathy in some cases doesn’t make us ‘psychopaths’.
Tone indicators. This is both the over use & not using them that’s an issue. Saying things like “/j /hj /sarcasm /srs /lh” all in one post defeats the whole damn purpose of them. & not using any at all especially when joking around or using sarcasm can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. It’s not that hard to use one or two at the end of a post. /srs
Picky eating. Literally stop making fun of autistic people for not liking a lot of foods or ordering the same thing at every restaurant. A lot of textures & flavors are very bothersome to autistic people. They can cause overstimulation or even panic. Just let us be. So I eat mac & cheese 4 times a week. I didn’t know it effected you so much.
“Ugh you’re so annoying you can’t ever get a joke”. No hearing that is what’s annoying. Tones are hard for us to understand so while most people pick up on it autistic people are more likely to read too much into it or take it seriously. It’s simple to use tone indicators in text or even to say “I’m joking”. It won’t make your joke less funny. It’ll just help us understand more.
Be specific if you want things from us. Don’t just say “hey I need a pencil”. Or “the dishwasher needs put away”. Most likely we’ll just be like, yeah, ok, and? Be specific please. Say things like “can I borrow a pencil?” or “can you undo the dishwasher?”.
Faces seeming to look weird. A lot of us having facial stims that can alter our faces. Whether it’s excessive blinking, eyebrow raising, or face scrunches. Don’t ask us what’s wrong with our face or what we are doing. For me, because of my facial stims & tics my eyes/eyebrows are permanently uneven. Don’t bring it up.
Classroom behavior charts are horrible. Autistic people don’t behave the same as allistic people. Simple as that. What they see as ok behavior, others don’t. & some times they don’t realize these behaviors will get them in trouble.
Police brutality. Especially in black or brown autistic people. It’s so common that people call the police on autistic people stimming in public because they are seen as dangerous. & when these autistic people can’t understand what’s going on or can’t make eye contact they are labeled as more suspicious. Especially black autistic people. Just look at Elijah McLean.
Feeling dumb. Especially in schools or other scholarly conversations. Some autistic people aren’t able to keep up or fully understand everything that’s being said or presented. Which leads to us feeling dumb. Give us time to process or aso questions please.
Feeling robotic. You’ve most likely heard autistic people being compared to robots at one point or another. Whether that’s for the impaired ability to establish empathy or something else it’s an extremely negative & hurtful stereotype. Especially in media.
Saying ‘I forgot’ is a valid excuse. There is so much going on in our heads. So much to process & remember. We forget things. Everyone forgets things. Especially autistic people. Please don’t yell at us for always forgetting to do the dishes. It’s not like we chose to forget.
The harmful effects of the vaccines cause autism jokes. Aside from the whole anti vaxers debate, perpetually the idea that we shouldn’t be vaccinated because it causes autism is disgusting. It’s treating autism like a disease. Like the person who has it isn’t worthy. Or that autism is so chronic it will ruin everything. It’s like people avoiding cheese burgers because it’s rumored they make you ginger. It’s preposterous. 
Yelling at autistic people for struggling to want to learn new concepts/concepts at all. This not only goes for in school but in just normal conversation. It’s hard for autistic people to grasp things they don’t have an interest in learning. So please don’t yell at us for not understanding everything about a band that we don’t care about, we would if we could. It might not seem like a big issue but it happens more than you’d think.
Intrusive thoughts. (Tw: rape mention & violence) Most of the time autistic people experience extreme spells of intrusive thoughts “omg he’s going to rape you image him raping you” or “stab yourself in the side right now” or much worse. & when autistic (and other) people try to talk about it they are labeled crazy or insane. It’s a normal occurrence to have these kinds of thoughts. We don’t want to. But they happen. That’s why they’re called intrusive.
Executive disfunction. This is basically when autistic people are views as lazy but we physically & mentally just can’t. Where tasks as seemingly simple as going to get a glass of water feels like a mountain to autistic people. It’s not that we are lazy. We physically & mentally can’t work up to it.
Class rank & graduation requirements are unfair. Autistic people socialize differently. It’s just a fact. Our brains work differently in classes & outside of it. We could be working our asses off to understand our English class book, but we get an F. Not to mention how most schools require community service hours to graduate. Yes community service is good but it can be very hard for autistic people.
Please feel free to add on but a lot of these are drawn from personal frustrations. Please listen to autistic & other disabled people more. All these also applies to those with ADHD/ADD or any other mental illness where the situations apply. You’re all valid & amazing.
I love you all. 💕
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Flufftober Day 21
Disclaimer! I was planning a 100 word Drabble and I got quite carried away and ended up writing an entire one-shot fic. My thanks to @otherworldsivelivedin and @penpanoply for the positive feedback and the encouragement to post it, so here it is. Read the fic at ao3! 
October 21 prompt: “I don’t understand” (Boyfriend Material)
Oh! You Pretty Things
Luc, mon caneton. You and Oliver are free Sunday, yes?”
I try to remember if we actually have anything planned for Sunday, other than a good shag and French toast. Maybe followed by another shag.
“Uh.”
“Magnifique. You shall come to Judy’s.”
“What?”
“Judy’s piscine. You must come see.”
“Listen, Mum, I know you two have been friends for a long time, but I draw the line at anything involving Judy pissing.”
“Do not be so silly. Put me on the shouting phone.”
“Speakerphone?”
“Oui.”
“Fine,” I huff as I switch my mobile over. She’s given up talking to me it seems.
“Oliver, Luc is speaking nonsense. Judy has a new piscine and you must come in your Speedo on Sunday.”
“He’s not showing up in a Speedo, Mum. And most certainly not to do anything involving pissing!”
“Piscine is a swimming pool,” Oliver murmurs helpfully.
This makes things a bit clearer, but still not in any way appealing.
“It sounds like it could be fun,” he adds.
Fuck it all.
“See, it is a done deal as you say,” Mum chimes in. “Do not forget the Speedo, Oliver.”
“Mum, why the sudden obsession with swimwear?”
“Your boyfriend has style, mon cher. Oliver would not wear those ridiculous pantalons you insist on wearing to the sea.”
“They’re called swim shorts.”
“Pah, even the name is foolish. I do not understand you. All the gays they wear the Speedo. Why do you not want your boyfriend in one? He is attractive, non?”
“Well, yes, but you see . . .” I flounder as Oliver’s eyebrow goes up and his lips quirk. “Mum, that’s not the point . . .”
“Ah. I see now. You do not like the other men to see your Oliver like that. It is not good, the jealousy, Luc.”
“I’m not jealous!”
“There will not be gays to flirt with your boyfriend, mon cher. It is just Judy and me. I will make my special summer curry.”
“No, Mum, for the love of God, no.”
It’s jarring to realize that what I’d once considered to be the Mount Everest of my Mum’s culinary crimes was actually just a runner-up Mount Kilimanjaro--that she’d lulled me into thinking the special curry was the pinnacle of toxicity, while unbeknownst to me the summer curry had been lurking in the deeper waters.
I know I’m mixing my metaphors and I don’t care–they still aren’t as unfortunate a combination as any of my mother’s curry ingredients.
“Sunday, Luc.”
There’s an edge to Mum’s voice that promptly disappears as soon as she directs her words to Oliver again. “Oliver, do not let my son wear the pantalons. Take him shopping for a proper maillot de bain, oui?”
“Oui. A bientôt, Odile,” Oliver replies.
I end the call with a little more zeal than necessary. Meaning my mobile flies out of my hands and skitters across the floor.
“You can’t be serious about this.” I give Oliver my keenest glare. “Speedos and summer curry?”
“What is this vendetta against swimwear?” Oliver asks, boldly ignoring the curry issue, the smirk on his face threatening to raise my blood pressure by double digits.
“It’s not a vendetta.”
“Then?” He nudges my knee with his bare foot. It makes me weak under the best of circumstances but I do my best to hold onto my indignation.
“It’s nothing.” The words come out petulant. Lovely. I sound like a sullen teenager.
“It’s obviously something.” Oliver slides his toes under my leg. It’s unfair, it really is. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be averse to the thought of me in a Speedo.”
His foot burrows further under, his toes now brushing against the inside of my thigh and my brain is overwhelmed with an image of that v-cut of his diving down into a black Speedo and it’s all my mother’s fault, which really shouldn’t be something that’s remotely allowed to be in the same sentence with v-cut.
“It’s not you,” I say, with the inevitable follow up of “It’s me.”
“How so?”
“Ok, so I know Speedos are basically the required beach couture for our demographic, but it’s not ever been something I’ve felt works for, you know,” I wave a hand at myself, “me.”
“And why not?”
I stare at him. “Listen, I know for a fact you’ve seen me naked, more than once, so you should be able to figure that one out for yourself, Oliver.”
“I’m not following you, Lucien.”
Splendid. I’m going to have to spell it out. “I don’t have the . . . well, the physique to pull off wearing one.”
I also don’t have the confidence of middle aged, paunchy French men, but that’s beside the point.
His toes do this wiggle that’s borderline pornographic.
“Lucien.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, don’t Lucien me about this. I’m not built for a Speedo and I damn well am not about to go prancing around in one at Judy’s blasted piscine.”
I give him a side-long glance.
He’s got that creased forehead look he gets when he’s thinking of how to politely reply to some asinine thing I’ve said. I’m intimately familiar with it.
“Look, it’s fine, Oliver. We’ll go to Mum’s disaster of a pool party, swim in whatever monstrosity Judy’s installed at her estate, bathe in eau de wet dog for a few hours thanks to the spaniels. Eat the blasted summer curry and deal with the inevitable intestinal horror show to follow.” I narrow my eyes at him. “But I draw the line at the Speedo.”
Oliver has the audacity to smirk at me again. “For you or for me?”
“What?”
“For you or for me? I understand you may have reservations about wearing one—reservations I find quite concerning from a body-image standpoint, which we should probably address at some point in time—but I will support your devotion to modesty, as long as you comprehend the fact that I, for one, would not be averse to the sight.”
He’s completely lost me. “The sight of what?”
There’s that soft look. I’m becoming intimately familiar with that one as well.
Then his toes start doing that wiggly thing against my inner thigh again and I’m not sure if I’m turned on or still quivering with righteous indignation.
Right, I’m turned on.
“Of you, Lucien. You in a Speedo. Or swim shorts. Or an oversized t-shirt and hedgehog pants.”
Oliver slides his leg fully under my arse and somehow unbalances me enough that I end up sprawled in a heap on his chest. He’s not wearing a shirt so I’m not about to complain, although I do let out an involuntary squawk as I thump against the broad and luxurious expanse of his pecs.
He brushes the hair off my forehead, tracing his fingertips along my jawline until he’s cupping my face with his hand. “Whether we go or not is completely up to you,” Oliver says, grey eyes intense, yet achingly soft. “But you could be clad in a caftan and you’d still be beautiful to me.”
I should just take the compliment. I should crawl the rest of the way up his chest and kiss him breathless.
I don’t, of course.
“That could be arranged, you know. James Royce-Royce has a lovely chartreuse caftan. I’m certain he’d let me borrow it for the noble cause of seducing my Speedo-clad boyfriend in full view of my mother and her barmy old harpy of a best friend. The spaniels will be scandalized.” I can’t help grinning at him.
He grins right back, a silver glint in his eyes. “I’m sorry I’ll have to disappoint you then.”
“What? How will you resist my boyish charm? I’ll have you know that caftan brings out the green of my eyes.” I bat my eyelashes.
“I’m certain it does.”
“Then what are you on about?”
“I’m afraid I must dash your hopes of a Speedo-clad seduction.”
“What? My caftan-clad allure isn’t going to do it for you after all?”
His smile widens. “Oh, I’m sure it will.” He leans down to press a kiss to the tip of my nose, which is one of the many ridiculously fond things he does that I’m becoming terrifyingly accustomed to.
Oliver tilts his head back, radiating amusement now. “I just don’t happen to own a Speedo.”
I drop my head on the pillow of his toned chest muscles and give a snorty laugh. “Whatever will my mother say?”
He gives a laugh as juvenile as mine as he replies. “Something very uncomplimentary about my pantalons, I’m sure.”
“We’re a disappointment to fashionable gays everywhere.”
“Speak for yourself.”
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ofstarsandfireflies · 3 years
Text
My list was progressing smoothly until I realised some of the movies I want to do I don’t even own, I just thought I owned.
Why is my brain like this?
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It had been an accident.
An on purpose accident, but if you had asked Stephen if he’d wanted Tony’s consciousness to reside within his body with him while he tries to figure out how to return him to his own, Stephen probably would have looked at you like you’d sprouted a second head right before his eyes.
At first he’d thought the spell had succeeded and Tony’s astral form had taken control of the Iron Man suit.
But then he’d heard a voice.
Tony’s voice.
And Stephen had tried leaving his own body to see what would happen, only to find he couldn’t.
He was locked in and Tony was locked in with him.
So that’s what had happened and that’s what Stephen’s trying to remedy while listening to Tony snark at him as if Stephen weren’t the Sorcerer Supreme.
The constant arguing, which is hindering Stephen’s reading for the counter spell, and when he yells for Tony to shut up, his hand comes up and decks him in the face.
Stephen tries magic but somehow Tony’s stronger than him and just takes complete control over his hands to smack himself in the other cheek.
Wong walks in, raises his eyebrows at whatever it is Stephen is doing rolling on the floor, and walks away unnoticed as the both of them get their frustrations out and Tony allows Stephen to just lay on the floor, both realising this isn’t getting them anywhere.
Stephen stands up, a little shakily and feels Tony ground him, before beginning to read once again.
Tony doesn’t keep quiet for long, bored out of Stephen’s skull from looking at the strange text he can suddenly understand and seeing no fix to their issue, but of course Stephen won’t listen to him.
When Stephen decides its late and he’ll try again tomorrow, Tony is not tired and Stephen knows Tony will keep him up at night when they need sleep so he tells him if he shuts up tonight and lets them both rest, then tomorrow they will do what Tony wants to do.
Tony reluctantly agrees and allows Stephen to sleep, and the next day Stephen keeps his promise, deciding to leave the reading for another time.
They go to Tony’s lab where he wants to improve his suit and Stephen can think of nothing worse, but he made a promise and their current predicament is his fault so he relents.
He feels his hands begin to move, Tony’s hands somehow making them his own as he types into a display, moving holographic pictures around almost like magic.
And it’s almost addicting seeing his hands capable of the things he used to do.
If Tony were up for it, Stephen could do surgeries again, be who he used to be again.
It only when Stephen asks Tony if the pain in his hands is bothering him that Tony stops immedielty, having no clue Stephen’s hands were hurting at all.
But Stephen tries to backtrack, telling him he couldn’t feel it for the first time in a long time, and was worried Tony was just working through the pain, as it’s something he’s known Stark to do before.
Tony is silent for a moment before closing down the display.
When Stephen asks him what’s wrong, Tony just tells him they should get back to reading.
Stephen doesn’t know if the pain in his chest is from Tony or himself.
A few hours into their reading time, this time much quieter which is kind of scary knowing Stark and his loud ways, they find some information regarding the spell, and how the longer the souls remain linked the harder it is to seperate them and there have been instances where the two become one and share the body until death.
Tony makes a remark how they’re married now and Stephen ignores it because he doesn’t need to be thinking about that as he’s trying to find the counter spell, but it’s not there.
It’d been ripped out.
And not only that, but Tony’s and Stephen’s phones are going off, which can only mean Avengers business.
So Stephen heads there with an empty suit controlled by Friday and lucky for them the two get paired together for the mission.
It’s distracting having to relay orders to Friday from Tony while also listening to the team chatter in his ear, but it’s also a good thing that Tony has his back because not only does Tony’s intuition come in extremely handy while searching for survivors of the building collapse Rhino decided to go rampaging through, he also manages to use the building’s structure as a trap which stops Rhino in his tracks.
And it’s all thanks to Tony taking control of him and the suit.
So when Stephen asks him if he wants to go back to the lab tonight as well, Tony jumps at the chance, not realising Stephen is just using him to have the sense of feeling in his hands again.
Only, this time, Christine walks in and sees Stephen through the portal he’s left open, commenting on how it’s a miracle he can use his hands again.
And Tony wonders if that’s something Stephen wants.
If that would be their life if they can’t undo this stupid spell.
He supposes it wouldn’t be too bad, that they’d give up their hero lives for the mundane and just go about coexisting together.
But when he forfeits control over to Strange again and his hands start to shake like they always do, a darker thought enters his head.
What if Strange did this on purpose so he could have a normal life again?
So, once Christine leaves and Tony asks Stephen if he wants that normal life and the wizard denies it, it just sparks a massive argument.
Tony is inside Strange’s head.
He could deny it all he wanted, but the truth is it is something he wants.
Has wanted for a long time, and now he has a chance to grab hold of it with hands that won’t shake.
But Stephen wouldn’t do that to Tony.
It’s not right.
Keeping Tony like this with him isn’t right.
And Tony goes quiet and stays quiet.
He doesn’t answer Stephen, who’s gotten used to speaking out loud and having Tony answer him.
He doesn’t give any help or hindrance while Stephen researches a way to free Tony once again, nor does he speak up about going to his lab for any reason.
It’s only when Stephen starts to become concerned and begins yelling at Tony to answer him that he finally does.
He thinks Tony was doing it on purpose just to make him worried, but it turns out that’s not the case at all.
Tony had, for lack of a better term, fallen asleep.
He didn’t realise it had happened until he heard Stephen’s voice calling him back.
And weirder still, Stephen’s hands, which had been still all this time, begin shaking again.
Stephen is in a right panic now because the last thing he wants is for Tony’s consciousness to fade away when they are so close to getting him out, he knows they are.
But then it happens again, and each time it does, it happens for longer and longer, sometimes cutting Tony off half way through a sentence or throwing Stephen back into control.
Tony’s not scared, but he can feel Stephen’s fear at losing him and in an odd way it’s comforting, knowing he cares about him so much.
Out of options and with no way of saving Tony, Stephen asks Tony’s name to emptiness around him, receiving no reply.
He likes to think that Tony is safe with him, protected from everything.
He likes to think he can still feel his heartbeat within his own, bearing steadily as Tony sleeps.
And he still likes to talk out loud as if Tony could still hear him, as if what he thinks Tony’s reply would be is him answering back.
He’s not crazy.
He’s not imagining it.
At least his hands don’t shake anymore.
Quotes
“May I point something out?”
“Hello?”
“Yes?”
“Ok, who’s saying that?”
Stephen hearing Tony’s voice
“Now you can start living again.arent you happy?”
“Yeah...I can walk again.”
Christine seeing Stephen be able to use his hands again
“This has to stop.”
“What has to stop.”
“What I’m doing, what we’re doing.”
“It’s a simple algorithm even you can understand. If you don’t find the last of them he’ll find you and kill you.”
“No, we’re- we’re gonna get caught. It’s over.”
“Grey, you must understand-“
“No, No! Shut up! Get the fuck out of my head!”
Stephen and Tony fighting
We Are Me
Stephen may be the Sorcerer Supreme, but even he makes mistakes.
January, February
Missed a Day? Catch up here!
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5
Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10
Day 11
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blackmissfrizzle · 4 years
Text
Worth It- Pt 4
The Prelude- Part 1- Part 2- Part 3
Summary: The reader bumps into Marcel after their big argument
Characters: Marcel x black!reader, Sean (OMC) x black!reader
Warnings: Language but what’s new?
A/N: I’m back with our love Marcel! Finally!!!! I hope y’all enjoy.
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“Man, you fucked up.” Vincent told a pissed off Marcel.
“Big time.” Haley emphasized.
Marcel looked from his glass of whiskey to glare at Vincent and Haley. They weren’t helping him feel any better. It’s been days since he saw or talk to you since the incident with Rebekah and your mom.
“Drowning our sorrows, are we?” Klaus came up from behind and clapped Marcel’s shoulder.
“The only sorrows that are drowning are Marcel’s. We’re just reminding him of how bad he messed up.” Haley said.
“What are you even doing here?” Marcel asked her.
“Waiting on some friends,” and on cue, Cami showed up and she left the three men.
“The little wolf is right, you know?”
Marcel eyed Klaus curiously. “So, you’re ok that my girlfriend almost killed your sister?”
Klaus shrugged his shoulders and took a seat. “She’s still your girlfriend? And dear Marcellus, Rebekah knew the risks. It was fitting for her to learn that lesson. Y/N is a precious gem. If I were you, I would’ve given her the world.” Klaus paused and then leaned towards Marcel. “Maybe I’ll have the chance now.”
Right when Marcel was about to throttle Klaus, you walked in. It had been days since Marcel seen you, heard you, or smell you; your presence was a sensory overload. Especially with the outfit you had on. He guessed Rousseau’s is your first stop for a night out, because you wore a black and tan corset crop top, black ripped shorts, and thigh high boots.
You were there with your sister and friends, and y’all met up with Cami and Haley. Once you got settled, Marcel got up and was about to walk to you, but Vincent stopped him. “Bad idea, Marcel.”
Marcel snatched his hand back. “That’s my girlfriend and I’m gonna talk to her.”
All talking ceased at your table when they saw Marcel approach you. His hand touch your exposed shoulder and you were pissed at how he affected you.
“Can I speak to you alone?”
Bianca ruined any chance of you answering. “Hell no! You think she gon talk to you after how you did our momma? Over my dead body!” Bianca was standing up and you had to push her down to her seat.
“Chill, B.” Turning back to Marcel, you said, “Yeah, we can talk for a bit.”
Marcel motioned you to walk in front him and he followed you to the back patio. “You look beautiful tonight.” Marcel said trying to fill up the awkward silence.
“What do you want, Marcel?” You didn’t have time to play nice with him nor did you want to.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve never stood up for Rebekah like that. I think I let my feelings about how your parents disapprove of us cloud my judgement, but that’s not an excuse.”
Two sides of your brain were fighting. The rational side said, “That’s reasonable. You even have beef with your parents, because of how they talked about Marcel.” The petty side was saying, “Nah, fuck that nigga and the bitch he let put hands on your momma.”
“Which side is winning?” Marcel joked, knowing you always had to fight your pettiness.
“I don’t know. It seems like Petty Y/N really wants to come out. She thinks she’s hearing a lot of apologies from you lately but seeing no action behind them.”
“Y/N, I-”
“Sorry to interrupt, but Y/N you better get inside because you-know-who is here.” Haley interrupted, her eyes pointing towards Sean.
Although, Rousseau’s was open to all supernatural beings, it was known to be Marcel’s spot for him and his vampires with only a few witches allowed to come, and Sean and his witches weren’t on that list.
“Stay here. I’ll get him to leave.” You had to put your hands against his firm chest to stop Marcel from going in and causing a scene.
Lust filled Sean’s eyes as you approached him. All you felt was his gaze roaming your body and you felt a tinge of guilt for the lust running through you.
Soon as you were in arm’s reach, Sean grabbed the back of your neck and descended his lips onto yours. His kiss was different from Marcel’s, but it was enjoyable, more possessive, rougher, and nastier. His hands snaked down your bottom and he gripped your ass. “You goin’ to stop playing games and let me eat that fat pussy?” He whispered into your ear.
“Damn, I think I’m wet,” Bianca mumbled off to the side, voicing your exact thoughts.
You felt a tug on your wrist, and it was Diego. He probably thought he was helping his friend, but that only was going to cause the scene you were trying to avoid.
One of Sean’s friends pushed Diego off you and then suddenly Marcel and Sean were in a face-off. This had to end before it got ugly. “Boys let’s not do this here,” you say, getting in between the two.
Neither one paid any attention to you, so you pulled Sean out while Haley, a true godsend distracted Marcel.
“What the hell was that, Sean?” You slapped him for starting all that drama.
He gripped your wrist and pointed a finger in your face. “I ain’t Marcel, so that’s the last time you’ll put your hands on me.”
You snatched your wrist back and paced back and forth the sidewalk. If you didn’t figure out something soon, those two niggas will kill each other.
“Damn, cher. I got a way for you to get rid of all that nervous energy,” Sean gripped your hips and pulled you back towards him.
Sean kissed the side of your neck and chanted a simple spell to help you calm down. The only thing is that you weren’t sure you wanted to calm down.
It took all of your energy to pull away from him, but you did. “Sean, you can’t be kissing me. Especially in front of Marcel and in his fucking hangout spot!”
Sean couldn’t understand why you were so stuck on Marcel. He definitely didn’t treat you right. Getting pissed off at your devotion to Marcel, Sean backed you into the wall and leaned dangerously close to your face to the point you could smell his minty gum. “Really? Ain’t you single now?”
Shit, he had you there. But you couldn’t answer the question. You and Marcel never verbally said it was over, you just walked out on him.
Chewing on your bottom lip, you contemplated your answer. You couldn’t come up with an answer, so dipped into Rousseau’s to ask a waiting Marcel a quick question.
“No,” was the only word Marcel said when he saw you.
“You don’t even know what I was about to ask.” You whispered yelled at him.
“You were gonna ask if you’re single and the answer is no. We’re just going through a rough patch.” Marcel stared you down, daring you to challenge him.
Turning on your heels you walked away from him angrily. Damn vampire hearing, you thought.
Patiently waiting for you, Sean scrolled through his phone. “Well?”
“It’s complicated.” You answered.
Sean rolled his eyes at you and asked, “What’s so complicated about ending a relationship with someone who makes you a second option?”
“Who the fuck do you think you are, Sean? You’re just some random ass nigga that my parents think I should marry! Do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone!” You stomped away from him. Sean really pissed you off and if you were honest to yourself, which you didn’t want to be, Sean was telling you the truth. In the back of your mind, you were asking yourself the same question.
Catching up to you, Sean twisted your hips so you could face him. “Cher, you know I’m telling the truth. Lemme ask you something: can he give you you a family?”
Unbeknownst to you or Sean, Marcel slipped out the bar and was eavesdropping on your conversation. The talk about kids never came up, so Marcel never knew how you felt about becoming a parent.
“You know he can’t.”
“Do you want them? Because I can give you some.”
“So can a turkey baster.”
Sean chuckled to himself. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t want any.” Sean’s smile dropped at your admission. When he asked you that, he just knew you were gonna say yes. What woman doesn’t want kids? “So, besides your dick, what else do you have to offer?”
The switch up was almost immediate. “That vamp got you turned out like that? Pathetic. What if you change your mind?” Sean scoffed.
Another nigga who can’t handle rejection, what a shame, you thought. “What’s pathetic is you not being able to take no for answer. And if and that’s a big if, I change my mind. There’s this thing call adoption. Now do me a favor and run along before I melt your brain.” You smiled up at him, but it was anything but genuine.
Usually that did the trick and had men running along, but Sean stood there smiling to himself. The only other person who didn’t run in fear from you was Marcel. How did you end up being the source of attraction for two stubborn niggas?
“My bad. I let my anger get the best of me. Just know that I just don’t want you because our families want us together. I like you, Y/N. I like what you do for our community, I like that you’re not afraid to break the rules, I like that pretty ass smile of yours, and so much more. Before you make a decision, I want you to know that you’ll never doubt your place in my life. You’ll always be number one, cher.”
Sean tried to give you a kiss, but you turned your head and he kissed your temple. Knowing his presence was no longer wanted Sean walked away hoping you would make the smart decision.
Coming out from his hiding spot, Marcel got into your line of vision. The two of you just stared at each other for awhile without saying anything.
Marcel’s first step towards you made you speak up. “Me turning him down has nothing to do with us. Marcellus, I love you with all my heart, but you got some shit to fix. And until that’s done, I don’t know where we stand.”
Marcel said nothing. He just took it all in. Arguing with you would get him nowhere. So, he gave you a kiss and whispered, “I’ll be better.” Then he disappeared, leaving you alone, determined to get you back before Sean could carve a spot in your heart.
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