#not everyone's built for this world yanno | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tteokdoroki · 2 years

Text

— LOVING YOU IS EASY. + katsuki bakugou.

↳ warnings: unrequited love, angst, no happy ending. bakugou is oblivious to his best friend being in love with him, reader is stupid. this is word vomit and not proof read sorry, gn!reader.

“who the fuck orders pineapple on pizza?”

you look up from your position cross legged on the floor to your best friend of nearly twenty years— and smile, widely, brightly as if the sun as filtered in and taken residence across your features. katsuki scowls, having unearthed your ghastly pizza from the boxes of snacks you have scattered across your living room floor, which looks to be in a similar state to your childhood bedroom whenever katsuki slept over when you were kids.

you’ve known bakugou from the moment you were put into diapers— your mothers had met at a summer camp when they were nine and had been best friends ever since. bakugou had taken his first steps after yours, there were photos of you taking baths together and he’d knocked your first tooth out in your backyard the first summer of primary school.

you were best friends before you were even old enough to know what those words meant, and you suppose you’ve been in love with bakugou for twice as long. you’ve got no clue as to how he hasn’t seen it yet, how he hasn’t managed to catch on to the little kid that still trails behind him after all this time— wanting to be called pretty by the boy they like so much.

“i do! it’s good!” you snatch the box away from the blonde, pretending not to swoon over the familiar quirk in his brow from where he’s questioning your actions. it’s been so long since you’ve seen katsuki, he’s busy rushing around the city with hero work as a rising pro and you’re cooped up in your college dorm with stacks upon stacks of books. it kills you to spend a little less time with him, so see him comfortable and stress free from the woes of his job… but then again you’re one of the few people who katsuki has let close enough to see him so ordinary.

he’s ordinarily beautiful.

and you’re so lucky to get to see katsuki like this, a lose shirt hanging from his well built frame instead of the tightness of his hero uniform— eyes relaxed and gleaming under yellow light and not blood thirsty, a content smile on his face while he eats instead of him bearing his fans to paparazzi. here, in your tiny space, he’s kats instead of dynamight. he’s yours and not the rest of the world’s.

“well except for you, yer a fuckin’ weirdo.” bakugou claims, sliding up next to you to pick a movie— not before grimacing at your taste in food. “fruit on pizza, yer crazy, yanno that?” you scoff and he pushes your head playfully in response, going back to scrolling through the shitty moves on the Netflix romcom selection.

pushing his harm back, you tell bakugou. “tomato is a fruit too, who’s the weirdo for liking fruit sauce on their pizza now?”

“shuddap, moron. miss me with that science bullshit,” and then he smiles at you, teeth showing, eyes warm enough to make your icy heart flutter.

and you realise then, with your heart leaping into your throat— that you don��t want to share katsuki with the rest of the world. you’ve hated doing it so far; ever since he decided to become some big hot shot— you’ve despised it. because everyone gets to take a look at how pretty he is when he’s just being him, everyone gets a slice when you’ve known katsuki from the very beginning.

it’s not fair how you’ve always loved katsuki; and now everyone else is in love with him too. you know that he wouldn’t just fall for anyone, that they’d need to be worthy and prove themselves— but if that were the case, it meant katsuki didn’t see you as worth risking it all either. or he’d have realised by now. seen how much you’ve adored him from the time you could talk.

you don’t think you’re deserving of his love anyways, and he won’t want yours if you don’t believe it either.

so you love him, in this little room when bakugou has the time to drop by and spend his moments with you like he used to when you were both two teenagers with a dumb dream you didn’t know would take you in two directions.

you love the gleam in his eyes and the caution in which he moves, the gentleness of his actions and how he treats you like you’re made of glass despite being the loudest and most brash person you know. you love his silence though, and how it’s comfortable when you sit in it together like now, you love his passion and his drive and you love katsuki bakugou.

you love katsuki bakugou as a whole and not the half the media makes you see.

“oi, idiot,” katsuki grumbles, stealing a slice from your Hawaiian style pizza. “you wanna watch clueless again?” he frowns at your staring; at you taking in his beauty so selfishly like it’s something to be treasured— like it’s a solar eclipse you only see one every couple of years. bakugou waves a hand in front of your face. “oi! what’cha lookin’ at?”

snapping out of your thoughts, you lean forward and let the tip of your ring finger graze just under his right eye and against his cheek— ignoring how your best friend is soft to the touch, pretending that it doesn’t make your heart ache. “you have…” you stutter, eyes locked on his and you don’t have the strength to keep looking before you break contact. “you had a lash on your face… make a wish.”

“nah, toss it. that shit’s for babies,” katsuki dismisses with a wave of his hand. “you have thirty seconds t’change my mind or ‘m puttin’ on clueless.”

but you make the wish instead.

wishing you could have loved anyone else, aside from your best friend.

698 notes · View notes

arcplaysgames · 1 year

Text

Okay so this fucking dungeon huh

It's actually not even remotely as bad as it seems, but again, this might be my overleveled ass. Reverie, Kanji, and Yosuke all popped level 90 during this dungeon.

But the gimmick is really panic-inducing at first. After every battle, you lose half your SP. And worse, almost every enemy has HUGE elemental weaknesses, so all you want to do is use magic to nuke everyone.

But also because all the enemies are really weak all you really need to do is hit Rush and ride out every encounter.

BUT IT IS TEDIOUS AS FUCK.

Kanji knows what's up.

I.... have no idea what that is a reference too. I'm trying to avoid the MegaTen wiki and Normal Ass Wiki has nothing on that name. And I don't remember it from Okami. Sorry.

Her eyeball is bright vivid green-blue, like the big ol' mandatory Eyeball Monster. Seems relevant. ANYWAY MARIE SAYS THAT SHE NEEDS TO DIE OR THE WORLD WILL END. Which.... admittedly sucks and is a moment for pause and genuinely if this was Persona 3 I would be like "ah, yep, let's leave!"

But this is the game that pulled a fake-out on the little girl dying so I'm betting Marie can be saved by the power of friendship. Yanno, for a game with dead women hung from TV antennae, it's a cheery game. All that yellow.

Blah blah blah fight fight

ALTHO

FUCK THIS GUY PARTICULARLY

FUCK THIS GUY WITH A RUSTED STEEL DILDO, HE TOOK FIFTEEN MINUTES AND WAS SO FUCKING TEDIOUS

anyway

Anyway, after the Bonus Dungeon Of Gimmicky Mechanics, I reach Marie

I dunno, I'm trying not to be harsh but i feeeeeeel like the whole vibe of the dungeon would be better if I had completed the game once all the way first. It feels very superfluous? Mostly because I thought the game was a wrap with Ameno-sagiri but it's not and this also doesn't answer any more questions.

But it's fine!

Long story short, Marie is a part of the baddies. They make fog, she absorbs it and now she is like a bomb fulla fog, so she wants to die and be forgotten to protect the world.

Kanji. /smooches his forehead so sweetly

Once again, Naoto is the smartest here. Marie's whole world in the fog is built on memory, on ways to remember a person, on memorials. So, Marie doesn't want to be forgotten at all, under it all.

okay I will say one nice thing about this dungeon: the battle theme remix fucks severely.

Marie is saved! And then everyone has a snowball fight which turns into "pelt Yosuke with snowballs" which I feel is karmic balancing for the Spring Camping trip so we can finally forgive him.

Well that took an afternoon. I'm kind of clearing my throat at P4G and nodding pointedly at the clock. I'm hooooping to wrap this up this weekend but I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THERE IS TO WRAP UP? WHAT IS THE MYSTERY LEFT? I DON'T KNOW.

kicks leggies in the air

#p4 #persona liveblog

21 notes · View notes

unhingedselfships · 10 months

Text

Kimi wants to help Kenshi with his weird coping mechanisms

CW : choking

It had been awhile since he’d been this agitated.

Everyone was pissing him off. Everything they did or said was wrong wrong wrong.

Messy. Why was his life so messy? Why couldn't everyone get their shit together and just fucking cooperate?

He hated it. But what could he do? Who could he trust?

She’d noticed. Of course she had. Had stopped him more than once from picking a fight. It was getting frustrating and his patience with her was wearing thin.

And then she’d offered. A little awkwardly but.

“I do know a few techniques, depending on what you want to happen. So. Yeah.”

He snorted, "Why would I care about technique? If it doesn't put the fear of God into me, what's the point?"

He’d then turned her down, but said he’d keep it in mind.

A few more days passed, his agitation built, and she approached him again.

“Let me try, Kenshi. If it doesn’t help, we can go pick all the fights you want.”

He'd scoffed, rolled his eyes, but agreed.

I mean, worst case she fucks it up and he goes to the hospital or dies or something.

Who really cared, not like it really mattered.

she cared why did she fucking care

The set up was… a bit awkward, to say the least. He wasn't going to fight with her. They both knew how easily he could hurt her if he wanted to, so any sort of ‘combat’ was out.

So instead they found themselves on his bedroom floor, her knees bracketing his ribs as she straddled his stomach.

She'd made a self-deprecating joke about just letting her full weight rest on him and how that would do it, but that had only earned her a baleful glare.

He let her rest there a moment, his hands soothing over her covered thighs. She was still working up the nerve to actually do it.

Her eyes seemed troubled and he was sure while the offer was… sweet, in its intent, it was unlikely to do much for him.

Oh well, at least she'd have tried.

Humming she brushed light fingers up and down the sides of his throat, a light shiver passing through him involuntarily.

She shifted her hands, positioning them where she wanted.

And she pressed.

It was a slow increase, and careful. Well placed. He was surprised that she did in fact, at least, have some vague idea how to do this mostly properly. Who knew she had it in her?

The gradualness of it was making him a bit antsy, and he was going to protest until he caught her eyes again.

There was something there. Dark, heavy.

Possessive?

"You remember, Kenshi," she began, voice low and soft, "how I said, if I was going to choose, I'd want you to kill me?"

He wondered where this was going.

"Your hands love. It has to be you. But-"

She breathed out and the pressure increased. He could still breathe but it wasn't easy anymore.

"But the reverse is true too, yanno?"

His heart stuttered as he stared up at her.

"You're mine, Kenshi. No one gets to take you from me."

A little more, his vision was getting spotty and his grip on her thighs tightened.

"If it's going to be anyone, it'll be me, ok?"

He felt hyper-focused. Tunnel vision. Light headed, and heavy chested.

She leaned down close, her hair tickled his face, breath ghosting across his ear.

"No one gets to kill you but me, Kenshi. You're mine."

She gently pressed her mouth against his own slightly parted lips.

And the world went black.

He came too wheezing, and mind reeling.

What the fuck was that?

Wide eyes gazed at him, soft and damp as they often were.

She helped him sit up, soft words, comforts, and he was handed a glass of cool water.

"Is there anything else I can do to help? What do you need, love?"

He stared at her with a mild tremble, as he regained his strength, faintly flushed.

And tried to wrap his mind around this new revelation.

#yakkimi #kadokura-verse #kadokura kenshi #drabble #one shot

2 notes · View notes

ufohio · 1 year

Note

Hey so your ad says private? Is that right?

I've run a couple different versions of ads with a couple of different ways of putting this, but I'm thinking it probably said "public/private" or "public/private hybrid," which is how I've mostly been referring to it. Think of this as "seasonally semi-private" or even "part-time private." First, let me apologize. I thought I had this information up already! Early on, I posted about our rating and our public/private hybridization—but then I wondered if maybe that wasn't too much information for one post... I removed the public/private info with every intention of putting it back up—aaaaand then I forgot. Oof. Mea culpa, everyone. Let me get you squared away.

How Our Public/Private or Open/Invite-Only Seasons Will Work

Kaleidoscope World will alternate between open and closed periods in order to facilitate seasons of decreased traffic, advertising, and onboarding while also energizing its shorter seasons of publicity. (I'm acting alone in this project, so I could really use some built-in breaks from marketing, yanno?)

While I am expecting a smaller group because I see us as a bit niche, I do want to clarify that I have not chosen a private/public model in order to cull a more selective or intentional member base—nor do I intend to enforce a predetermined size, and I will never ask you for personal details or qualifications in order to join. I.e., I'm not here to be a hiring manager nor a fire marshall; if you want to join during our open period, you can join freely without fear of competition or capacity. We'll be fully public during open seasons.

Our initial open period is planned to last one to two months, after which we'll retreat from loud advertising and transition to an invitation-only period that welcomes friends, referrals, word of mouth, et cetera. Alternatively, picking up a want ad or adoptable would also be considered an invitation. Our proposed seasonal model was inspired by our friends at Something Like Triumph. We'll revise our plans as needed depending on outcomes and member input.

I really appreciate you bringing this up. If you have any follow-up questions or concerns, feel free to ask.

#private/public #private/public hybrid #open & closed seasons #major update #question #response #oh thank god you asked #extroverted periods/introverted periods

0 notes

cacturne · 4 years

Text

I need to smash my head in

#self harm #<- for bl #my head is empty. Literally. Theres 0 brain anywhere cause it all managed to leak out because it coulnt take my idiocy anymore #my syes are unfocused im woozy i feel like somehow i got under the influence or sonething lnao #me like what 3 days ago im improving i promise #me now *ruins everything i built up again with my friends*#no wonder nobody trusts me if im a fucking loose canon that can instantly make everyone pissed and annoyed #anyway. Might kms lol dunno about it #will probably pussy out tho #but yanno.#suicide mention in tags #im not me. This is not me. I was put into some poor girls body just to ruin her entire life that must be it #nothing good has come out of my existence and every single compliment only makeseverything worse #i hate compliments i hate compliments so much if someone says “ur art is good” i might go at their throat this time #of course thats overdramatic but in a world that will never loves you who cares #ill never be what people need me to be. Ill never be able to roleplay good enough to get praised over it #ill never make characters people will remember or love as much as my friends do #im just another one of those background bitches that gets out of trouble by using crocodile tears and puppy eyes #richie was right. Im an emotionally manipulative piece of shit. I need to cut ties immediately #its the best i can do #negative #vent #LET IT OUT. LET ME OUT OF THIS SHELL OF A BODY RIP OFF MY SKIN AND TEAR ME APART

0 notes

ampintherain · 3 years

Text

I’m Yours:

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Chapter IV

Y/N is Kenny Ortega’s ‘niece’ after going through a rough breakup, Kenny decides to fly her over to stay with him, will her broken heart mend?

(Female Reader, NO SMUT, Romance, Friendship, THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC/IMAGINE, I hope it’s good, Kenny is lifelong family friend so reader calls him Uncle Kenny. I’m British so the writing is going to be British so like ‘mum’ not ‘mom’ yanno?)

TW- swearing. mentions of alcohol, drugs & divorce

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

“Doll, you ready to go?” Kenny asked as he shrugged on his coat, we had been at Tori’s for a good three hours and I could see Kenny was getting tired and we did have a really long day tomorrow, I nodded at my uncle happily before bidding farewell to my new found friends. I found it quite strange as to how quickly they had befriended me and made me feel more than welcome- Charlie especially, I mean throughout the day he asked me if I was alright and he encouraged me to share my ideas with Uncle Kenny, it really was strange.

“See you tomorrow Y/n” Owen chirped, pulling me in for a quick hug, I was soon passed round through the group of friends each of them giving me a tight hug which I gladly reciprocated, I waved everyone a final goodbye before Kenny and I left Tori’s apartment and made our way back to the car.

As Uncle Kenny drove through the streets of Vancouver, I paid most attention to the lights displayed throughout, I watched as birds flew through the sky and listened to the soft sound of the radio, “you okay Y/n?” Uncle Kenny questioned,

“Hm?” I said, as the questioned tore me out of my unknown daydream, I turned to face my uncle Kenny and before he could repeat himself, my brain managed to process what he originally asked “oh oh yeah, I’m fine Uncle Kenny, just sight seeing” I laughed quietly,

“Okay, just making sure, I’m worried about you...” Kenny admitted, I had a feeling that he was but he just didn’t want to draw attention to me and my situation, I have always been very good at hiding my emotions it came from years and years of being told that my emotions and the way I felt weren’t ‘necessary’ and that I shouldn’t feel the way I did- in the end, I decided to no longer tell anyone my problems but deal with them myself, battling through the pain as a lone warrior, I didn’t even tell Kenny what was going on, I built up layers of walls around me to protect myself and make it seem like I was this strong, capable woman. “You’re only 19, Y/n, I know you’re strong but... I just want you to know that I am here should you ever need me” I nodded in response, worried that if I did speak, my voice would give way and I would be revealed as this weak character, I’ve already cried once today and I’m not planning on crying anymore, not in front of Kenny at least.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Kenny locked the door behind me as we both entered the apartment, “do you want a drink or anything Uncle Kenny?” I questioned as I made my way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out the carton of orange juice,

“No you’re alright Star, I’m just going to head to bed, I’ll wake you up at 7 alright?” He assured me, I nodded as I sipped at my juice, I looked at the digital clock placed on the side- 12:00am, luckily I had sorted through all of my clothes before going to set and again before going to Tori’s because, quite honestly, I hadn’t the energy to do much at this point, I watched as my uncle wandered into his room, closing the door behind him. I let out a deep breath, the thoughts of a few nights ago coming back into my memory, replaying itself there, why wasn’t I good enough? I did absolutely everything I could for him... I loved him with everything I had... why wasn’t I good enough?

I kept asking myself, it was truly lost on me, I didn’t see myself as this perfect girl, this perfect girlfriend but I knew what I did for him. I was there for him when his dad spiralled, turning to alcoholism and drug abuse, I was there whenever he called, whenever he showed up randomly at my house at 4 in the morning crying and looking for a cuddle, I made sure to visit him mum every Tuesday evening for dinner because Zac wanted to move out once his parents split, deciding to live with his grandparents instead. We were even thinking about moving in together... well him moving in with me as I had already had my own place at 18. That boy was my entire world for 3 years and the fact that he could throw it all away so easily, really hurt me, and I don’t think it was anything that I could understand ever.

The thought alone caused my heart to feel crushed, it felt like Zac had a hold of my heart and whenever I thought about it, he just squeezed my heart as hard as he possibly could, it felt like a gut wrenching type of pain, I wiped away the tears that I didn’t even realise were spilling quickly out of my eyes. I cleared my throat and drank the rest of my juice before making my way to bed, I changed into my grey cable knit sweater and my plaid shorts and clambered into the large double bed, snuggling into the comfort that the bed brought me before I let sleep take over me.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

“Rise and shine” Kenny said quietly into my bedroom, I groaned as I stretched in bed, “morning sleepyhead” he chuckled,

“Morning” I mumbled, scratching the back of my head, Kenny told me that we’d be leaving in 20 minutes, “okay, I’ll see you in 20” I smiled, sliding out of bed and heading into my closet, I grabbed my white tennis skirt, white shirt and dark blue sweater, I paired the outfit with white tennis socks and my white and blue Nike Jordan’s that Uncle Kenny bought me for Christmas. I placed my clothes on my bed and went for a quick shower, this time I dried my hair before chucking it up into a high ponytail, I brushed my teeth and did some light makeup again before changing and grabbing my phone off the side,

“Let’s go” I stated as I made my way over to Kenny,

“You look amazing” he smiled genuinely at me, I thanked him and we made our way back to the set of his new show.

“So... how did you sleep?” Kenny asked me,

“Oh really well thank you, that bed was huge, you could fit like five of me in there” I joked, just as my phone chimed, I looked down at the lit screen to see messages from the one person I didn’t want to hear from.

Zac- Hey, where are you? I came to your place to see you and you weren’t there...

I rolled my eyes and groaned internally before locking my phone and sinking into my seat, “what’s on your mind?” Uncle Kenny asked immediately, I swear it’s like this man lives in my brain. I turned my phone on vibrate just as another text came through,

“It’s nothing Uncle Kenny” I sighed, the man driving next to me simply hummed in response, he definitely didn’t believe me but I knew he wasn’t going to push for answers- he never did, he would always let me come to him if I needed and that was one of the things I loved most about him. I could feel my phone constantly vibrating in my hand whilst Kenny was driving, so I turned it on do not disturb just to try and escape it.

“Alright kiddo, we’ve arrived” Kenny said as he swiftly parked up, I went to unbuckle myself but Kenny stopped me, “you don’t have to tell me right now, but I am here, you know I won’t judge you like your parents” he explained, I sighed and leant over to rest my head on his arm,

“I know Uncle Kenny... it’s Zac, he texted me... I’m ignoring him though” I replied, he sighed and looked down at me, placing a kiss to the top of my head,

“You’re going to have to” Kenny started before I cut him off mid sentence,

“Message him at some point, I know I know” I sat back upright and unbuckled the seat before getting out the car, “come on” I sighed, putting back on my brave face before heading into the lot with Uncle Kenny in tow.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

“Y/n!” I heard Sav yell from across the lot, I turned to see Y/n walking towards us, her arms linked with Kenny’s as he was talking and joking with her, I watched as she let out a quick laugh before shaking her head, probably at some corny joke that Kenny told. “We’re matching!” Sav exclaimed as Y/n got closer,

“So we are!” Y/n giggled, “but don’t you have to be in your Carrie costume?” She questioned, pointing at the costume trailer just a way behind us,

“We are rehearsing Wow today in costume” Kenny announced, this prompted Sav to scrunch her face and turn on her heels, grabbing Tori by her upper arm as they both ran to the costume trailer, “those girls” Kenny laughed, shaking his head, “I’m going to get some breakfast, do you want anything Y/n?” The girl shook her head, “you have to eat Star, I’ll get you a croissant okay?”

“If I have to eat, can you get me some blueberry pancakes?” Y/n questioned innocently, smiling up at her ‘uncle.’ Kenny simply nodded and walked over to catering to grab him and Y/n some breakfast. “Hey” Y/n said as she took a step closer to me, I looked down at her and smiled,

“Hey” I mirrored, “sleep well last night?” I asked, the girl nodded and started to walk down the lot, I naturally started to follow her, not wanting the conversation to end,

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever slept in a bed that big before” she giggled, causing my heart to skip a beat slightly, “how about you? Did you sleep well?” She questioned, looking up at me with her beautiful y/e/c eyes.

“Oh yeah, Owen and I left Tori’s a little while after you and Ken left, we grabbed some food and then just crashed as soon as we got home” I said simply, just as I mentioned Owen I saw him come out of his trailer dressed as Alex,

“You, Charles. Have to be in costume” he stated, pointing at me, I rolled my eyes before he shoo’d me away, I nodded slightly at Y/n as a way to say goodbye and she saluted me slightly which caused me to laugh before jogging up to costume.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

“Why the long face?” Owen asked me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, “wassup Buttercup?” I bit the inside of my cheek and looked up at the blonde boy,

“It’s my ex” I stated plainly, “he messaged me this morning and I just...” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say, was I ignoring Zac because I hated him, or was I ignoring him because I was worried that if I did text him back, I would fall for him all over again? You can’t get over someone that quickly, no matter how much they hurt you... right?

“Don’t know what to say to him?” Owen answered for me, “what did he say?” He asked, I daren’t look at my phone again because I knew that he had probably texted more so I tried to remember what I saw at quick glance.

“It was something about why I wasn’t home and where I was” I remembered, sitting down on the small couch in the resting tent, my back against the arm rest and my legs tucked up to my chest, Owen sat down, facing me and mirroring my position, “I just don’t see why I have to tell him that anymore... he’s my ex y’know?” I vented, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

“Hey, you shouldn’t let him get to you like that, it’s not cool... look, I’m pretty sure we have a day off tomorrow, why don’t you come over to mine and Charlie’s place and we can watch movies and pig out?” Owen offered, I lifted my head back up and nodded, it didn’t sound like the worst idea, in fact, it sounded like the best thing for me, I mean karaoke last night helped me a lot so maybe just a chilled day would help too?

“Yeah that sounds amazing actually” I smiled.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

“Okay you guys, Sav, Sacha, Tori, Mads and Jay you guys can all go home, thank you so much for your excellence today, you’re all amazing!” Uncle Kenny beamed with pride at his cast that he was dismissing for the day, we had just filmed 3 more scenes for the show and the cast had rehearsals for as many dances they could fit in today, the only thing left on the agenda was the hot dog scene, “now, I will see everyone at the next location? Y/n, you ready?” Kenny asked, I nodded as I felt a shiver run up my spine causing my body to visibly shake,

“Hey” I heard Charlie whisper, “you okay?” He questioned, staying within earshot of me,

“Yeah I’m good, just cold, I forgot a jacket and it was warm today... I kinda forgot how long today was” I laughed, slightly embarrassed about my sieve of a brain, although the presence of Charlie stood behind me seemed to keep me fairly warm, that is, until I felt him leave. I turned to see Owen looking behind him as Charlie darted off, “I’ll be one second” Charlie yelled loud enough for everyone to hear and wait for him.

“Where’s he going?” Jeremy asked, pointing behind him towards where Charlie had just disappeared to,

“I have... no idea” Owen sighed, shrugging his shoulders, “Y/n/n, do you know?” I shook my head,

“He just ran off, maybe he forgot something” I stated, just as Charlie came running back, handing me a brown corduroy jacket with a wool collar,

“Here, it has pockets too so you won’t have to keep holding your phone” he said, only slightly out of breath.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

Y/n gently took the jacket from me, “oh... thanks” she said as a red tint reached her cheeks, she shrugged the jacket on and I couldn’t help but smile at how it looked on her, on me, it fit perfectly but on Y/n, it nearly swamped her, the sleeves hung so low only her fingertips could be seen and the length of the jacket went just above where her skirt ended. She looked adorable.

“Yeah.. yeah anytime” I replied, Y/n placed her phone in her pocket and started to walk towards Kenny,

“Hey, I’ve gotta talk to my Uncle Kenny about some things for the hot dog scene, I had some ideas but I’ll see you on location okay?” She said, not just to me, but to Owen and Jeremy as well, all three of us nodded and joined together so we could all walk out of the lot,

“You like her...” Jeremy stated, Owen nudged him slightly and rolled his eyes,

“I made that observation last night!” He said, “but yeah, you totally like her... it’s obvious”

“I just gave her my jacket, she said she was cold, I would’ve done the same for anybody, like Mads” I defended, “she did look really cute in it though” I admitted, Owen agreed with me which caused me to look at him sceptically,

“Before you get jealous and ask me, no I don’t like her, she’s just a friend” he answered before I even had a chance to ask the question, “oh by the way, she was talking to me about her ex today, something about how he messaged her and she doesn’t know what to say to him, she seemed really down so I invited her to come over tomorrow” Owen explained,

“Oh really? Okay cool” was all I could say, Jeremy soon decided to change the subject to running lines as he could see that I was becoming nervous at the fact that Y/n was coming over, I had no idea why the thought of it had my heart racing and my mind scattered but it did, there was something about Y/n that I couldn’t quite put my finger on but whatever it was drove me crazy about her.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

We had just finished filming the final scene of the day- the hot dog scene and it was the longest scene ever, the amount of re-runs and developments on the scene was enough to drive anybody insane, I groaned slightly as I turned and sat on the seat that one of the crew members brought with them just as Kenny was wrapping the scene up. “Y/n, I’ve just got to do some paperwork and I’ll be right with you okay? I’m sure the boys will keep you company once they change” Kenny announced, to which I simply nodded, not having the energy to say anything or do anything else, I rubbed my eye as I pulled my phone out of Charlie’s jacket pocket, I looked down at the screen and saw the notification, I had 36 unread messages from Zac:

>Zac- hello? Y/n! Where are you?

>Zac- I’m worried about you...

>Zac- Y/n! Would you please just answer me...

>Zac- I went to the coffee shop, you weren’t there either, where have you run off to?

>Zac- look Y/n, I’m really sorry about what I did to you

>Zac- WTF! WHERE ARE YOU?!?

>Zac- you can’t possibly be giving me the silent treatment? Seriously.

>Zac- I didn’t realise you were so childish.

>Zac- I’m glad I cheated on you, you’re worthless

>Zac- wait no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that I’m just worried about you.

The list went on and on, a mixture of emotions, I kept scrolling through the text screen until I saw the most recent text, delivered 1 minute ago,

>Zac- call me. Please.

I rolled my eyes, I couldn’t call him, I shouldn’t call him right? But alas, like muscle memory, I clicked on the call icon and there was his voice, “Y/n! Hey... how’re you?” All I did was sigh in response, I watched as the boys came out of the venue and into sight, they all waved at me before noticing I was on the phone, Owen and Jeremy dispersed whereas Charlie stayed, walking slowly towards me with a half-smile on his face, clearly worried about whether or not I wanted him to come closer.

“What do you want?” I said bluntly, “I’m not in the mood to hear your pathetic apologies Zac, you’re messages were ridiculous, you went from being apologetic to calling me worthless and saying that you were happy that you cheated on me!”

“Listen Y/n... I can’t explain” Zac began but I was in no mood to hear it,

“No you listen Zac, you don’t get to be sad, you don’t get to cry. You are the one who cheated remember? Or have you suddenly developed amnesia? You went behind my back and had this whole other relationship for 13 months... and on top of that, it was with Quinn! My best friend and you think I’m going to sit here and listen to your silly little apologies, no, you have another thing coming. We were together for 3 years and for a year of that you were with someone else, I was nothing but loyal to you, I was nothing but kind to you, I loved you so much and I thought that you would never hurt me, but I was wrong, you’re just a piece of shit Zac, you and Quinn deserve each other, you’re both snakes, you’re both pathetic and you both betrayed me. I dont want to hear from you again? Do I make myself clear?” I ranted down the phone, I never raised my voice, I kept calm, I wouldn’t let him know that he made me so angry that I wanted to scream and throw my phone into the road, no. I wouldn’t let him have that power over me.

“But Y/n- we’ve been through so much... Quinn doesn’t know me like you do... she’s not there for me like you do” Zac grovelled, I scoffed in response,

“Well isn’t that just a crying shame? You should’ve thought about that before you decided to go behind my back and fuck her, you should’ve thought about it before you decided to be unfaithful. Hey, I’ll make this easy for you, I’ll just block you on everything that way you have no way of contacting me. Goodbye Zac” I said as I abruptly hung up, giving Zac no chance to talk, I blocked his number and started to go through my social media, blocking him on everything that I had.

“Uh... you okay?” I heard a worried voice speak, I looked up to see those eyes that could only belong to Charlie, he tilted his head and looked at me with concern riddled all over his face, I placed my phone on my lap and rubbed my temples to try and reduce to incoming headache.

“Yeah... that was my ex” I stated the absolute obvious, unsure of what else to say, Charlie nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets before taking the seat next to me, he didn’t ask me to go on and explain but I felt like I could talk to him and so I did “you probably heard but he cheated on me, with my best friend”

“Yeah... yeah I did hear, look, Y/n, I know it probably won’t mean much but he really doesn’t deserve you and he isn’t worth your tears” he said calmly, placing his thumb on my cheek and gently brushed away the tears that I had no idea were slowly falling from my eyes, “by the sounds of it, he sounds like a dick and you were way too good for him” I laughed in response, “I’m being serious, Y/n, you’re gorgeous and kind and funny and insanely talented! I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t let a guy like that get to you...”

“Yeah I know... but he and I were together for so long, it just makes me feel like everything was a lie y’know? And like I can’t truly be loved by anyone” I admitted, hearing this Charlie stood up in front of me and held his hands out, “what...?” I questioned, he beckoned me to stand up before pulling me in for a hug,

“You? You can’t truly be loved? Y/n you’re one of the most lovable people I’ve ever met, everyone loves you here... I know that’s not the type of love you meant but trust me on this okay? You can very easily be loved” I pulled out of the hug slightly and Charlie lightly placed his hands on my face, looking deep into my eyes, he smiled slightly to himself causing me to become shy and look down, Charlie used his index finger to lift my head back up by my chin ever so gently, “who wouldn’t want to fall in love with you?”

💜thank you for reading💜

♡︎𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 : @thesweetestsinner , @ifilwtmfc , @ashleyleblancx , @chloepart03 , @obxflowr , @lukeys-giggle ♡︎

311 notes · View notes

axther · 3 years

Text

hero of many, princess of none

in which Bakugou and Kirishima, trying to attempt a quest, meet a strange young woman. for @reddriot

Life in the borderlands was not easy.

It was long and toiling, with the twin suns making the days hot and the years long. The sea of sand that stretched across half of the planet could turn into tundra in a day. There used to be kingdoms built on top of kingdoms on top of kingdoms, but they were all sent to dust and to pain.

And alone survived a girl.

She was a child. She alone survived the ruin of a thousand empires, waiting above the sand and snow. She alone was the last heir of a kingdom that never was. Even when the wind ripped off the skin of lesser men, she did not die.

The little princess walked in a state between heartbreak and duty. Why did it happen this way? Why her? Every question was raised. Every god heard a plea. But none answered.

So, the little princess wandered the borderlands, lonely and divine. And through the years, she grew, with skin like armour and eyes like a stone. She could look out at the great dunes like a hawk and see a single creature. She was armed to the bone, no inch of her left open. She was weary, but stood for those that had no king or knight to protect them. Those that abused what they had were forced to face her dark fury. She became the Mirrored Darkryder, for the fleeting steps in the night that forced the hand of her enemies and the mirages that she seemed to leave in her wake.

She was the hero of many, and princess of none.

Good inns were rare.

Bakugou Katsuki sat at the bar of an inn, with his best friend and dragon shifter Kirishima. They were off on some quest that his mother made him do, after a day of barking at each other, and was told not to come home until it was done. It was something about a bear, blah blah blah, Bakugou really didn’t care. He just wanted to get it over with so he could go back to fighting the enemies of his people and essentially becoming a war hero. But here he was. In an inn, trying to figure out where said bear was.

Kirishima was chatting happily with the bartender and no less than three patrons, waving his hands about and laughing freely. Bakugou felt sour. He wanted to kick everyone in the room and make them shut up. But alas, he needed information, and inns were the only place to get it.

“Hey, dumbass.” Bakugou hissed, nudging Kirishima’s shin with his foot. “Ask them about the bear.” “Oh!” Kirishima looked at Bakugou with a huge grin. “I already did! They said there is no bear like that.” “What?!” Bakugou barked, rising from his seat, fury welling up in him. “What the hell do you mean?!”

“Apparently there’s no bears around here.” Kirishima shrugged. “Only wolves.”

“That doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense!” Bakugou looked at the bartender, gritting his teeth and almost frothing at the mouth. “We’re looking for the White Bear!” “White Bear?” The bartender winced, and Bakugou realised the whole bar started going quiet. The conversations went null, all eyes on them.

“White Bear…” One of the young ladies said in a hushed whisper. “He’s our lord.” “A thief,” An older man hissed, gripping the table under his worn hands. “He steals our crops, our women, our animals. Our way of life.” “You won’t have to worry about him.” The bartender leaned back, beginning to wipe down a glass. “He’s being taken care of.” “What?” Kirishima leaned in, curious. “What do you mean?” “The Mirror Darkryder,” The girl whispered with reverence. Heads bowed down, and the candles in the room seemed to flicker. “She acts for the people. We asked…” “She will save us.” A youth, maybe Bakugou’s age, rose with a justice-ridden look. Kirishima seemed wholly into the mysterious saviour thing the village had going on, but Bakugou scoffed.

“What, you hired an assassin?” “She’s no assassin.” The bartender hummed. “Some say she was born out of the sands of the Borderlands. Others think she’s some sort of...god. I dunno. But she’s the protector of the people. If someone sends a messenger into the Tenebris Woodland with a plea for help, the plea will be answered.”

“We hope that the White Bear will be better, in some way.” The girl sighed, having the last word. “In death, or in life.”

Bakugou felt his blood chill, and he turned to Kirishima. He seemed almost awestruck, with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. There was a moment of pure reverence before a traveller walked through the door, breaking the tension. It was raining like hell outside, and when the figure walked in, they were soaked through. A certain air made them feel almost dangerous, like a plague in human form. They seemed weary, sighing before plopping into a chair next to Bakugou. The inn went back to its loud state and the lights went bright again as if nothing had happened at all. Kirishima looked around in a bit of confusion, raising his eyebrow.

“Huh? That was weird.” “How can I help you, stranger?” The bartender talked over Kirishima, leaning over to the traveller. They lowered their hood with a tired sigh, shaking their head to reveal a young woman. She was beautiful, even in her exhaustion, and the bartender swallowed a bit. “Miss?” “Right, uh...whatever is filling.” “Of course.” The bartender left to go get something, leaving her with Bakugou and Kirishima. He leaned over Bakugou to give the traveller a toothy grin.

“Hi there! Are you visiting?” “Hm?” She looked at him with a surprised glance. “Oh, yes. I’m just passing through.”

“That’s awesome! So are we!” Kirishima skedaddled around Bakugou to squeeze between the two of them. “What’s your name?” “I’m YN.” She smiled softly, tilting her head. “And you?” “This is my bro, Bakugou!” Before Bakugou could protest, he was tucked under Kirishima’s overenthusiastic arm and noogied.

“Shut the fuck up! Don’t you fuckin-!”

“He’s my best friend!” Kirishima grinned, letting go of Bakugou. “And I’m Kirishima. Dragon shifter extraordinaire!”

“Don’t just tell anyone that-!” “Neat!” YN grinned, lacing her hands. “I’ve only met a handful of dragon shifters before.” “Wait! You’ve met any at all?!” “Why, yes!” She nodded fervently, giddy. She seemed like a total sweetheart, as opposed to the initial aura of “don’t interact or else I’ll kill you”. Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the candlelight, and when she leaned into her hand, her cheek was squished. There was a kind glow about her, and Bakugou felt his unease slowly melt away.

“When?” His words were less suspicious, and more inquisitive. “Was it with the nomads?” “Oh, no.” YN shook her head happily. “It was in the mountains, a small family of them. The children were such small things! Their scales hadn’t even shed yet.”

“Oh!” Kirishima had a hand over his heart, seeming almost faint at the idea. “That’s so cute! Bro, bro, remember when we were kids?!”

“Fuck off,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, peeling away from Kirishima’s side in embarrassment. “I don’t fuckin remember.” “C’mon, you still have my scales on your armour!” “Shut up!” YN started laughing, and the sound was whole. It was peace, welcome changes, the twin suns through the green trees. Both Bakugou and Kirishima paused, leaning in and going quiet to listen. It wasn’t like bells in the noise, but in the motion; pealing, tumbling, ringing everywhere. When she laughed, the whole world stopped to listen. And the two stared.

“So.” Bakugou broke the silence as soon as she stopped, not wanting for the conversation to go dead yet. “What are you in town for?” YN tilted her head again, and pursed her lips. She seemed to be in thought for a second, before nodding. “I’ve been taking odd jobs through the Borderlands and the Meseta. The sort of stuff people wouldn’t do...normally.” “Like…?” Kirishima paused, trying to make sense of it. “Like...yanno…” “Oh! No! Not like that!” YN waved her hands, flushed before taking a sip of her drink. “Not like that.”

“Then what is it?” Bakugou frowned. Before he got his answer, there was a yell from outside, and everyone looked towards the door. YN seemed to have a dark sparkle in her eye.“Neither of you are grossed out by blood, right?” “Huh? No. Why?”YN rose from her seat as people began pouring outside, and Bakugou watched her go with a confused scowl. “What the fuck was that about?” Bakugou got up to leave and Kirishima followed, a cautious and curious glance in his eyes. They both stepped out of the inn, and saw everyone crowding the town square. There were double the people in the bar, and when Kirishima saw what everyone was looking at, he recoiled and grabbed Bakugou’s arm. In the middle of the town square was an elaborate sacrificial stand, with several spears placed in a circle. The two longest were in the centre, on a pyre that burned bright into the night. One had a long, dark cloak on it, which miraculously hadn’t caught fire yet and waved in the thick night wind. The other was the head of a grisly young man, with his eyes wide with fear and tongue lolling out. He still had colour in his face, but the blood was trailing down the spear and onto the pyre. It was a morbid sight, but villagers were dancing around it in joy.

“He’s dead! The White Bear is dead!”

“She did it!”

Though the sight was one to behold, Bakugou and Kirishima both slowly relaxed once they realised that their work was done for them. Bakugou glanced over to see YN looking at the pyre with a satisfied look.

“Well, they’re happy.” She crossed her arms, looking at them out of the corner of her eye. Bakugou noticed that when her black cloak moved, it showed a whole set of weapons around her waist and thighs. One had blood on the handle; an embellished dagger with a white bear motif.

“It was you,” Kirishima whispered, clearly reaching the same conclusion as Bakugou.

“Maybe it was.” YN shrugged.

“You took his own weapon?” Bakugou couldn’t help but be impressed.

“I never said that.” Despite her refusing to answer, it seemed more out of obligation to keep her ‘identity’ a secret, as opposed to actually lying to them. “Wow.” Kirishima looked at YN with wide eyes. “So you...what, you go around saving people?” “Me?” YN turned back to the pyre, a smile on her face as she watched it burn. “I would never. That’s made for people who have far too much free time on their hands.” Bakugou scoffed. “Like the Mirrored what’s-her-nuts.” “Exactly.” YN sounded both ready to burst in laughter, and posh at the same time. “Like the Mirrored what’s-her-nuts.”

“Where will you go?” Kirishima’s voice was laced with concern.

“Oh, I don’t know. Wherever the sand and the dirt takes me, I suppose. Wherever the Mirrored Darkryder is needed most.” YN turned with a flourish, her cape flicking behind her as she slowly walked into the woods, fading into the dark with what felt like too sudden of an exit. Bakugou looked at Kirishima.

“Do you think we’ll ever see her again?” Kirishima sighed, eyes wide and looking at where she seemed to become shadow.

“No.” Bakugou shook his head, feeling as though the moment was something monumental.

“I don’t think we will.”

#bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #bakugou x reader x kirishima #fantasy au #not your mother's bnha fantasy au #tw death #tw decapitation #tw blood #bnha x reader #fantasy

100 notes · View notes

intomymindspace · 3 years

Text

Just One Day ✰ Ushijima Wakatoshi

Just One Day by BTS

ushijima wakatoshi x gn!reader

Through the Summer and the Fall // Haikyuu!! Songfic Series

a/n: hi everyone, I'm sorry for falling off the map for a bit. I was feeling really just overwhelmed and burnt out, but also disheartened because of my fics not showing up in tags and stuff. oh well. I also started another semester of college... and on the first day, I found out that my ex had cheated on me 🤡 n e ways,,,, this fic is heavily influenced by that. thank you for reading my stuff and sticking with me. I just wanna be loved sometimes, yanno?

Word Count: almost 5k?

Warnings: none, just Oikawa mentioned as being a bad ex bf for unknown reasons. this is also probably unedited, so I am so sorry if there are any mistakes

If I have just one day I'd like to fall asleep with your scent If I have time on a tight schedule I'd like to soak myself in your warm, deep eyes

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would take you to Tsutsujigaoka Park. He would hope it was near the end of March, so he could take you for a walk while the cherry and plum blossom trees were blooming. Regardless of the season, he would make sure to prepare a blanket and two bentos, and maybe even a sketchbook or two. The two of you would talk, and walk in a comfortable silence as you viewed the nature around. If any food stalls were open, Wakatoshi would make sure to bring extra pocket money to buy you something you wanted. His hand would completely engulf yours if he held it, and as he walked you back to your dorm room, he would even dare to ask permission to kiss you.

Tendou watched his best friend fondly, smiling as he recognized the faraway look in Wakatoshi's eyes. The ace was thinking about you. Tendou saw this look quite often, whenever Wakatoshi needed to calm down during a match, when he needed a break from studying, and even when you visited to coordinate cheers for upcoming matches. The olive-haired boy had never said anything about you, but this was one thing that Tendou was always able to read.

As the cheer captain of Shiratorizawa, it had always been a little tough for you. While coming up with cheers and leading the school to rally during games was easy, being in a relationship with Oikawa Tooru was the unsolvable variable in that equation. Wakatoshi had only wished the best for the both of you, as much as he pined from afar. You were happy, right? Did Oikawa make you happy?

There were many times where he had seen your puffy eyes, your cheeks rubbed raw, your voice not as loud as usual. It was never his business to ask - you were his rival's partner after all (or recent ex-parter, he had later discovered), and he was sure that Oikawa had given you a nasty impression of the ace.

He wondered if he could still have you, even if it was just for one day. Wakatoshi knew better, however. He knew the last thing you wanted was another man in your life. You didn't need someone who always reminded you of the boy who never prioritized you, who never shut down his fangirls and always left you insecure. Wakatoshi always felt guilty, even though he knew it was for no reason. Maybe if he had built up the courage to talk to you during first year homeroom, things would be different.

Even if it was for just one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi could've taken care of you. He could've balanced his priorities, appreciated your support, and crushed your insecurities. He could've been everything Oikawa wasn't. Wakatoshi was not a man of many words, but he knew the ones he could have spoken would have counted for something. He was never a man of empty promises, empty ambitions, and empty dreams. As the buzzer went off, Wakatoshi was brought back to the reality of the current game.

It was a shame, he thought, that Karasuno had beaten Aoba Johsai. He would've liked to put Oikawa in his place one last time.

As he stood back up with the rest of his team, he made his way over to the edge of the court. He breathed in and out, hearing your voice ring loud and clear. Your voice parted the crowd, and his heart couldn't help but flutter.

"Ushijima! Ushijima!"

You were cheering for him after all, right?

He bounced the ball, hitting it against the ground to make sure it felt right. As he heard the referee blow the whistle, he thought about what your face would look like when he served. Would you be ecstatic? Would your eyes widen in shock? Would he scare you, as he does so many others?

As the volleyball slammed into Karasuno's court, the crowd went wild. Wakatoshi glanced into the bleachers, already knowing where you were standing. The look of awe on your face was evident, Wakatoshi thought. He would certainly make the next serve if it meant seeing you smile again - even if it was for just one day.

Your voice when you call my name I want to be sunk with that voice and swim I want to know you more I am an adventurer who explores an unknown forest called "you"

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would take you to the Sendai Uminomori Aquarium. He would stare at you under the black lights as you admired the jellyfish, floating in their tanks, their tendrils extending and waving to say hello. He’d catch himself in the reflection of the glass, his lips in a rare, soft smile as he’d watch you press your hands gently against the divider. He could imagine the look on your face - would you smile at him the way you used to smile for Oikawa? Would you finally have the sparkle in your eyes that had left? Wakatoshi hated that he would compare himself to the setter... but how could he not?

Would you enjoy the opposite of Oikawa?

He pondered this as he sat during the graduation ceremony. You were sitting a few rows up with your class, and he was placed next to Tendou, Semi on the opposite side of the red-haired blocker.

The chances of him ever seeing you again were very low. He would be playing with the Japan National under-19 volleyball team until his birthday, and from then he’d be trying out for the division one teams. Wakatoshi wasn’t sure what you would be doing - Tendou had told him that you had mentioned you’d be going to Tohoku University.

Wakatoshi’s biggest regret was never talking to you. He knew he had a multitude of opportunities, whether it be communicating on cheers, or simply just joining in on the conversations you’d have with Tendou and Yamagata. He knew it wasn’t his place, to try to replace the remnants of Oikawa in your heart with himself. But he would make sure that his last day with you wouldn’t be for nothing.

He found himself being dragged into pictures upon pictures - not that he minded, of course. He would make sure to ask for copies to keep as memories. He would need them for the documentary Tendou insisted he’d have. He couldn’t help but look at the smile on your face as you held up peace signs with Goshiki and Shirabu. You had gotten closer to the team during your third year, something Wakatoshi was forever thankful for. Tendou smiled, gently nudging the ace.

“Wakatoshi-kun, won’t you say something?” His olive eyes met Tendou’s crimson ones. Most would take Wakatoshi’s silence as indifference, but Tendou of all people knew better than that.

“Ah, you already have something in mind, don’t you?” Wakatoshi nodded.

“Will you go through with it?”

“Yes. I think I will.”

You had been comforting Goshiki through his tears and sniffles, promising to keep in contact with your precious kouhai. Once again, a rare, small smile curled Wakatoshi’s lips. You were still so caring, even when you’d been treated badly.

“May I speak with you for a moment?” You seemed surprised by Wakatoshi’s inquiry, but nodded nevertheless. Giving Goshiki one last pat on the head, you followed Wakatoshi as he lead you away from his and your teammates.

“What was it that you wanted, Ushijima-san?” Wakatoshi took the time to memorize the way your hair was lightly rustled by the breeze.

“Hold on, wait!” Tendou jogged up to the two of you, camera in hand. “Gotta take a photo of our two favorite captains!”

You leaned into Wakatoshi, your diploma in one hand and a peace sign in the other. Your smile was radiant, and Wakatoshi gingerly wrapped a loose arm around your shoulders. He didn’t even realize Tendou had counted down the seconds until the flash appeared, for he was too focused on looking down at your shining face. His best friend left as quickly as he appeared, shouting promises to send copies later. You turned back around, an expectant look on your face. Wakatoshi’s heart was fluttering in his chest, but his mind felt an odd sense of calm.

“We do not have military style uniforms, but I understand that it is common for boys to give the our second button to the one we cherish most.” He paid attention to every detail he could - the way your breath hitched in your chest, the flush in your cheeks, and your wide eyes. Without much effort, he ripped the second button off his suit jacket and presented it to you.

“Will you please accept it?”

Wakatoshi couldn’t help but wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. Even if it was for just one day, he was glad to see you one last time.

I appreciate a masterpiece, "you" Because your existence is an art Every day I imagine like this all night long Because you are nothing more than just a dream to me

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he’d take you to Universal Hollywood. He was never one for thrill rides, but Wakatoshi wouldn’t mind riding on the Hulk if it meant holding your hand as you screamed for your dear life. He would make sure to treated you to a nice, iced butterbeer and matching Harry Potter gear. Granted, he also wasn’t much of a fan, but he would be more than willing for you. He’d stand with you in the shade as the two of you sipped on the cold drink, the bustling life of Diagonal Alley creating the illusion of escapism. He’d remember to post a picture or two for Instagram, since Tendou always bugged him about starting a public social media.

Did Oikawa ever post photos of the two of you? Wakatoshi wondered if the setter had ever cared to do so. It had been nearly two years since he had gifted the button on his uniform to you - and he often found himself going back into his camera roll to find the photo Tendou took after graduation.

You had accepted it with a blushing face, not knowing what to say. Wakatoshi didn’t need an answer from you. He was more than content with the thought of you. He hoped you were doing well in college.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Wakatoshi heard a familiar voice say. The ace turned around to find Iwaizumi, Oikawa’s ace, standing in front of his very eyes.

“Iwaizumi-san, it is good to see you again.”

“Same goes to you, Ushijima-san. What are you doing here?” Ah, Wakatoshi thought, he must be referring to why I’m in this unbearable heat.

“My father is holding a training camp on campus, and invited me to attend before division one tryouts.” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You’re Utsui-san’s son?” Wakatoshi nodded.

“What are you here for?”

“I’m majoring sports science, and well, I was kinda hoping to meet your father while studying abroad to see if I could intern with him after graduating.” Wakatoshi nodded politely.

“I am on my way to see him right now. I would not mind introducing you to him, I am sure he would be more than willing to speak with you.” Iwaizumi thanked him profusely, falling in step beside his previous opponent as Wakatoshi began walking again.

"What teams are you hoping to tryout for?" Iwaizumi asked.

"I would like to play for the Schweiden Adlers."

"Ah, I'm sure they'll want you. Any division one team is probably dying for you to choose them."

"Thank you. Are you not pursuing volleyball?" Iwaizumi shook his head.

"Nah. I love the sport, but I think I'd rather train or coach players." Wakatoshi nodded.

"Though, Stupidkawa still is, obviously. He's been in Argentina for a while now." Iwaizumi noticed the slight furrowing in Wakatoshi's eyebrows, his face seeming forever etched into a frown, and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry from bringing him up like that." Wakatoshi merely brought his hand up to wave away Iwaizumi's worries.

"What's funny is I actually go to college with his ex - they were at Shiratorizawa with you, right?" Wakatoshi couldn't help the way his eyes widened at Iwaizumi's mention of you.

"I have not spoken to them in a while. How are they?" He asked, keeping his olive eyes in front of him. Iwaizumi only smiled.

"We've actually gotten pretty close. I wound up in a bio lab with them in our first semester, and it turns out they're majoring in nutritional sciences."

"Is that so? How does Oikawa feel about that?" The brunette beside him knew better. After all, the two of you had become close friends. You had told him about Wakatoshi's confession.

"Shittykawa is pouty as always. He knows what he did wrong, though, so he doesn't complain." Iwaizumi looked up at Wakatoshi. "He's actually thinking of trying things again the next time he visits Japan." Wakatoshi tried his best to hide the disdain in his reply. Surely, you wouldn't want to retry being in a relationship with the setter, right?

"I did not think he would have the time." To Wakatoshi's surprise, Iwaizumi barked out a laugh.

"I don't think they'll accept any of his new advances. They've been focused on themselves and getting their degree for the most part." Wakatoshi wanted to ask what the ace meant by 'for the most part,' but his lips remained shut.

"That is good to hear." Iwaizumi smirked.

"I'm sure it is, Ushijima-san. After all, they did keep your button."

Maybe, Wakatoshi thought, just one day was not enough.

If I can be with you just one day If I can hold your hands just one day If I can be with you just one day Just one day If you and I can be together just one day

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would make sure you had his undivided attention. He was fairly good at time management - knew when to start tasks, and he knew when to stop them. He could easily devote time for you while still being a pro-volleyball player. He would spend the day doing whatever you would want - whether it be going shopping (and holding your bags), taking a hike (he would pack extra snacks just for you), or simply staying in for a day of relaxation (he'd even make you your favorite dish, but Wakatoshi wouldn't be able to guarantee how good it would end up tasting). He'd make sure you felt loved and cared for, returning the same affection and effort that you gave to him.

He had been playing for the Adlers for almost a year now, the newest addition being Kageyama Tobio. Oikawa's disciple, he used to call the black-haired setter. To be honest, he quite liked Kageyama. Wakatoshi was just surprised that the orange-haired crow didn't follow him.

As Wakatoshi took his duffle bag and clothes from his locker, he found himself staring at some of the photographs he had printed out and taped to the inside of his locker. There was one of the Shiratorizawa team, used as a roster in his third year. He looked the just the same, in his opinion. The next one was of him and Tendou at the airport. The redhead had shaved his long locks, but the delighted look in his eyes was still present. Wakatoshi would make sure to call him on Friday, just like they did every week. They were best friends, after all.

The last photo was the one Tendou had snapped the day of graduation. Wakatoshi found himself always looking at it. The smile on your face would ground him before practice, before games. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could still hear your cheers in the stands. He would open his eyes, serve, and think of the same smile he always sought out in the crowd.

Wakatoshi had always wondered how you were doing - he thought about you everyday. He knew he could easily give into Tendou and Hoshiumi's pleas for him to create at least a Facebook page, or ask Iwaizumi for your number. But, it wasn't as simple as that, at least in his mind. You wouldn't want him anyways, would you? Not when Oikawa still seemed like such a big wall, at least in his mind.

He could still remember that day like the back of his left hand. He still remembered the way you smiled as you hugged Goshiki through his tears, and he still remembered the look in your eyes when he asked if you would accept his affections, without a need for them to ever be returned?

Wakatoshi questioned why he limited himself to being with you for just one day. Was he being patient, waiting for a day that would never come? Why was it that he convinced himself that the only way he'd ever see you again was when he dreamed?

"Ushijima-san?" It was Kageyama that pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" The setter merely frowned, holding his phone out for Wakatoshi to look at the screen.

"TOBIO-KUN!!!" It was a text from Hinata Shouyou. "LOOK WHO I FOUND IN RIO!!!" Below it was a picture of Hinata, his tongue out, the Rio sun setting behind him. Next to him was no one other that Oikawa Tooru, his tongue out as well. Wakatoshi's eyebrows furrowed immensely, his lips frowning.

"TOORU-KUN SAYS HI!!!" The situation alone was already jarring enough. Wakatoshi looked back up at Kageyama, to find the same look on the setter's face. Was Oikawa taunting him? Had Oikawa visited Japan before Rio? Had he bothered you? Wakatoshi had assumed that you still lived in Miyagi - you were almost done with your degree, if he counted the years correctly. What would you do after you graduated? Would you go back to Oikawa? Forgive him for all the things he had done? Or, would you find someone else? Would you move on (or, had you already moved on? Wakatoshi wondered this frequently) and find someone who would give you everything Oikawa couldn't, and everything Wakatoshi could?

He remembered the tears when you had gotten the call during a joint practice. Would he remind you of those painful times?

For just one day, Wakatoshi wished he could take all your troubles away, as old or as new as they were.

You will blame me a little, or a lot maybe I know I couldn't see you more because of my dream Then please give me one day, even one day in dreams is fine All the words I couldn't say, making an excuse that its reality

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he take you to Zuiganji Temple. It was nearly Christmastime, which meant the new year was just around the corner. On the first day of January, he would go with you to pray at the temple. He would stroll with you, hand-in-hand, as you admired the nature that surrounded the temple. The two of you would give offerings to the kami, clap your hands together in prayer, and receive good fortunes. Wakatoshi would make sure to pray for many more New Years with you.

The old Sendai City Gymnasium, now the Kamei Arena Sendai, sent him back to high school. They were even playing the MSBY Black Jackals. He remembered how you cheered for him in the stands, voice loud and smile bright as your pom-poms waved in your hands. He would most certainly imagine you in the crowd - he always did.

As the starting lineups are announced, Wakatoshi finds himself thinking about how the different the members of MSBY Black Jackals are. He would remind himself to go say hello to Sakusa and Hinata after the match. Out of the corner of his eye, Wakatoshi swears that he saw a glimpse of your hair. No, he thinks to himself. You were studying nutrition in college, so why would you be on the court? He didn't know if you'd be in the stands - would you? After all, Semi and Reon did come to watch the match.

He peers over to the opposite side of the court once more. He didn't know that the MSBY Black Jackals had a manager. His eyes must have been messing with him. Imagining you cheering him on had never been a distraction until now. Had he eaten something unusual this morning? Were the chia seeds in his overnight oatmeal expired? Wakatoshi thinks that it couldn't possibly be you. You weren't the person standing in a black and gold jacket on the opposite side of the course - they just had similar hair.

Bokuto Koutarou, as always, makes a scene as he leaps across the court during his introduction. Hinata and Miya Atsumu are yelling and laughing wildly, and the crowd goes crazy. The silver haired wing spiker then runs back to his team, giving them all enthusiastic high fives as he goes down the line. As he arrives at the end, he spins the manager around before picking them up, hugging them affectionately as he lifts and spins them around.

Wakatoshi's eyes widen as he finally sees the manager's face - and its you. It was really you. His breath seems caught in his throat. His chest is tightening like crazy, and he knows the exact reason why. He knows he had never stopped loving you - and now that he was seeing you again for the first time in years, his heart can't handle itself.

"Ushi-kun, are you okay?" It was Hoshiumi who pulled him away from his thoughts this time. The white-haired man was staring up at him with wide, concerned eyes. His eyes followed Wakatoshi's gaze, which lead straight to you.

"Is that the person in the picture that you always stare at in your locker?" Wakatoshi hears Kageyama sputtering, nearly choking on his water.

"Senpai is here?" Kageyama's eyes are wide as he looks across the court as well. Once he spots you, he frowns. "Stupid Hinata. Didn't even think to tell me that they were on the team. Their manager and nutritionist, no less."

Wakatoshi remembers when Kageyama first saw the photo in his locker.

"That's Oikawa-san's ex, right? I forgot they had gone to Shiratorizawa with you." Kageyama was peering into Wakatoshi's locker, forgetting personal space. The wing spiker nodded.

"Yes, they were the captain of the cheerleading squad." Kageyama nodded.

"They actually went to Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High. They always tutored me throughout junior andante high school and always bought me snacks, even after Oikawa-san - " Kageyama cut himself off. "Senpai was always very kind to me."

Wakatoshi nodded at the setter. "Yes, they have always been kind."

"Were you close to them? Ushijima-san?" For a few moments, Wakatoshi simply stared in silence at the photo.

"No, I would not have considered us close." He allowed himself to smile. "But, they are very dear to me."

Wakatoshi would've been more bothered by the Adlers' loss if it weren't for the fact that you were there. Seeing you there, smiling as you congratulated your team was more than enough to keep him at bay. However, he would make sure to beat the Black Jackals next time.

Wakatoshi had approached, almost with caution, as he trailed behind Kageyama and Hoshiumi. What should he say? Did you even want to talk to him? You looked really close to Bokuto and Atsumu (in fact, you seemed close with most of the team in general). Would you remember him? (That was a stupid question, he then decided.)

As he stood awkwardly behind the reunion, he continued to stare at you. You were laughing along with something Meian had said, and judging by Atsumu's face, the captain had made fun of him. His phone kept on buzzing, and he finally checked it only to find that it was the old Shiratorizawa groupchat.

"Look at this idiot" texted Reon, attached with a photo that must have been taken barely a minute ago. It was zoomed in and a bit grainy, but it revealed Wakatoshi staring at you. Yamagata had replied with an emoji of two eyes looking off to the side.

"Wakatoshi-kun" Tendou had texted, "If you don't go up to them right now / I will personally fly all the way to Japan / to kick your ass"

"OMG IS THT SENPAI / TELL THEM I SAID HIII / AND THAT THEY LOOK GORGOUS TODAY" Goshiki spammed, making Wakatoshi sigh. He looked back up, only to make eye contact with you - immediately, his breath felt as if it was lodged in his throat once more. A smile graced your lips, and you began to walk over. Wakatoshi could only stand there as you approached him.

"You were amazing today, Ushijima-san. I'm glad I got to watch you play in person again." You looked just as beautiful (or perhaps, even more than so) as you did all those years ago. Before Wakatoshi could even reply, you began speaking again.

"If you're free sometime this week, before you go back to Tokyo, I would love to catch up with you." You were playing with your fingers (a nervous habit, he had realized while in high school). If it weren't for his complete focus on you, he would've noticed both teams smirking and giggling like schoolgirls at the two of you.

Maybe, Wakatoshi thought, he could finally be with you for just one day.

I want to say at least one word right among them I didn't think it would be easy to forget you Am I selfish if I wish you won't forget me so easily? You're standing in the middle of me

If Ushijima Wakatoshi could be with you for just one day, he would make sure to perfect his vows. He would rehearse them over and over again to Tendou as his best friend (and man) made sure Wakatoshi looked perfect. Wakatoshi would already have memorized everything by heart, but Tendou would insist on him having a copy in his pocket, just in case. He would let you choose whatever decorations and colors you liked, and he would make sure to spare no expense if it meant seeing you smile. Wakatoshi was an Olympian, after all.

What would Oikawa's vows sound like? Would the setter charm you with sweet words and promises of love, like he had once done? He knew Oikawa did not matter anymore - he no longer questioned if you still loved the setter, or if you were still healing from the breakup (even if it was already so many years ago, Wakatoshi just wanted to make sure). He no longer compared himself to Oikawa, but he still wondered what it would be like if Oikawa were in his position.

"Thank you once again for designing and creating our outfits, Azumane-san." The long haired man smiled, placing the finishing touches on Wakatoshi's custom suit.

"It is my pleasure, Ushijima-san." The designer cracked a smile. "After all, you did pay me."

"Are you nervous, Wakatoshi-kun?" Tendou asked. The short-haired man was smiling at Wakatoshi.

"Should I be, Tendou-kun?" Wakatoshi truly did wonder this. Should he be feeling nervous? Because truth told, he wasn't. Wakatoshi couldn't feel a single nervous bone in his body, and Tendou only laughed.

"If you are, I wouldn't blame you. You're getting married, after all." Iwaizumi barged into the room as he fastened the cuff links.

"Are you ready, Ushijima-san?" He felt Tendou pat his shoulder.

"Yes, I am."

How could Wakatoshi be nervous for a day he had only ever dreamed of?

He stood at the end of the aisle, as patient as ever. It was a medium-sized wedding, as close family and friends from high school and beyond were invited. Tendou stood just off to the side, followed Iwaizumi, Kageyama, Semi, and Bokuto. As the music began to play, Wakatoshi readied himself. For obvious reasons, he hadn't seen what you looked like - and Azumane made sure to keep the design of your outfit "top secret."

He inhaled deeply, paused, and then exhaled. As his olive eyes traced your approaching figure, Wakatoshi found himself just as breathless as he was, all those years ago. You were shining just as bright. Wakatoshi didn't cry - he didn't need to in order to express how he felt at that moment. He was calm and happy. Your hands were cold in his much larger, much warmer ones. Wakatoshi took them both as you stepped up to the platform. Had his eyes always been this soft, this fond? The smile on his face was evident - and he could care less if anyone were to be surprised by a break in his often stoic face.

Wakatoshi never needed to wish for just one day with you. Not anymore, at least. He could take care of you, and be with you for the rest of his days. He realized this as he saw the tears well up in your eyes as he finished his vows. The were no longer any reasons for him to compare himself to Oikawa. Not when you were standing before him, wedding ring slipped around your ring finger. He could prioritize you, praise you, and love you the way he had always wanted to.

"For so long, I had so deeply desired to spend even just one day with you. I am forever grateful that you would choose to spend more than one with me."

If I can be with you just one day If I can hold your hands just one day If I can be with you just one day Just one day If you and I can be together just one day

thank you for reading!! once again... please do like AND reblog if possible. and let me know what you think. I crave validation and attention. I'm so lonely its unreal.

- Crystal

through the summer and the fall masterlist

blog masterlist

my ko-fi (but only if you can and want to!)

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima imagine #ushijima wakatoshi imagine #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader

96 notes · View notes

twistedlymad · 4 years

Text

Welcome Home, Dearest Friend. (Ft. Everyone!)

You guys have waited for this for some time now and I truly, sincerely apologize to everyone.

To be honest, it took me three days to write this, I normally wouldn’t have taken this long but I had a bit of the writer’s block that prevented me from thinking of anything. For the first day, I was just staring at my laptop while I had an internal argument with my brain, forcing asking it to please work with me and deliver the long awaited sequel to my fic ‘It’s Time We Go Home.’

But here it is! I do hope the sequel meets everyone’s expectations! I hope you all enjoy it, thank you so much for requesting and waiting for this fic. I hope everyone has a lovely day!

You feel the cold air of the night hit your face and breeze through your hair as you flew in the sky. You took a deep breath, welcoming fresh air into your lungs and exhaling it out shortly after. At that moment, you had a good overview of the prestigious school that is Night Raven College.

Yes, you were back at the place that you so desperately wanted to leave a few months ago thanks to your best friends going to pick you up from your supposed ‘home’.

And you couldn’t be more thankful that they did.

“I missed everyone.” You said, tightening your grip on Ace.

“Yeah, we missed you too.” Ace replied to you as he focused on his flying.

“We all did.” Deuce added on, taking a glance at you. You gave him a smile before you all landed in front of your beloved Ramshackle Dorm. You got off the broom and proceeded to walk towards your dorm, however, you stopped yourself from entering.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” Deuce asked you.

“Does… Anyone else know?” You turned to your friends, making them raise an eyebrow at you.

“Know? Know of what?” Ace asked.

“That I’ve returned.” You said, looking at them. They all shook their heads no.

“Only Headmaster Crowley knows that we went to try to persuade you, since we asked for his permission to do so.” Deuce said.

“Ah… Is that so?” You said, looking at the ground.

None of you moved, everyone just stayed deep in thought. It was as if time had suddenly froze.

Truth be told, you were feeling slightly anxious. You had just left behind your biological parents and family to be with a family that treats you better than them. Maybe it was because of your moral values and how you were taught to always love your family. But, you still were slightly unsure who was your true family.

The boys certainly took notice of your hesitation. They shared glances with each other for they were afraid that you would suddenly change your mind and want to go back to your ‘home’. They sincerely hoped that you wouldn’t do so, as it wasn’t easy living without you.

Suddenly, someone was laughing out loud. You looked up from the ground to see Ace laughing out loud.

“Ace? What’s so funny?” You asked.

“Ahaha, nothing, it’s just that… Remember the huge search party?” Ace said after calming down from his fit of laughter.

“Oh yeah! It was so chaotic!” Deuce said with a smile on his face.

“Search party?” You were confused, why was there a search party?

“We thought something bad happened to you when we found out you were missing, so, we had this giant search party just to look for you.” Deuce answered.

“It started when…” And Ace told you what had happened during your absence.

When they first found out that you were gone, Ace, Deuce and Grim searched high and low for you, afraid that something might’ve happened to you. When the other students, dorm leaders and vice dorm leaders caught wind of the news, a huge search party had been held in hopes of finding you. Everyone was worried and wanted to find you as soon as possible.

It wasn’t long before Crowley inspected the matter, after all, he couldn’t have his school in such a messy state. When he saw what everyone was doing, he assumed everyone was running around in his school without a purpose. But, something seemed off to him.

After all, it’s not like Riddle would run around carelessly, nor would Azul even run in the first place.

Leona awake and running? At this time? He should be taking his nap right now!

Kalim and Jamil flying on his magical carpet? Kalim never brings out his magical carpet out from his dorm!

Why is Vil searching in trash cans? Rook as well? Didn’t they swear to never even be a meter near a trash can?

Idia is out of his room?! AND climbing trees?!

Is… Malleus panicking?! But, he’s always seen with a calm expression all the time!

All in all, it wasn’t like them to act this way. Well, it wasn’t like them to act this way on a normal day. This made the headmaster so confused, he thought he was in an alternate universe.

That was, until Crowley managed to hear the words coming out from their mouth. It was a name. A very specific name indeed.

“(Y/N)!!” “(Y/N) Where are you?!” “(Y/N)!! This isn’t funny!!”

Crowley then understood everything and yelled everyone to stop what they were doing. Of course, everyone heard the loud voice of the headmaster and immediately stopped.

“Headmaster, not to be rude but, we’re trying to find (Y/N) right now.” Ace said to the headmaster.

“Everyone… You don’t have to.” Crowley said, dropping his head slightly.

“What? No, headmaster, you don’t understand!” Deuce said.

“(Y/N)’s gone!!” Grim continued, panic evident in his voice.

“No, (Y/N) isn’t gone.” Crowley stated calmly. He knew the students can’t really handle what he was going to say to them.

“Headmaster, what are you saying?” Riddle asked the caped figure.

“(Y/N)… Has gone back home.” Crowley said in a low voice.

“No, I’m certain he/she’s been kidnapped or something! If he/she went home, he/she would tell us yanno?!” Grim argued back.

“Yeah, it’s not like (Y/N) to not tell us if he/she’s going home!” Epel agreed with the furball. Your friends started to voice out their agreements as well.

“(Y/N) didn’t tell you all because he/she didn’t want to worry all of you. That’s why he/she left without a notice or a trace.” Crowley said.

“B-But!” Grim tried to protest, he couldn’t believe his ears after all. The one who accepted him, took care of him and loved him was gone? It couldn’t be true… right?

“(Y/N) is back in her home and that is final. Now, go back to your classes.” Crowley said before retreating back to his office.

Everyone was in shock. You left without anyone noticing nor even saying goodbye? They were kind of disappointed, but they knew if it was your wish to do so, so be it.

“Come on Grim, let’s get to class.” Ace said to the furball as everyone was leaving.

“Y-Yeah… Class…” Grim replied in a low and soft tone. He’s still in shock after all. As much as he wanted to believe Crowley was joking and that you were actually in Ramshackle Dorm, he knew it wasn’t true as Crowley would be panicking if you were actually gone. But, he wasn’t, so that must’ve meant that what Crowley had said was the truth. He felt like as if he had been slapped and brought back to reality.

And so, everyone carried on with their lives.

Or… At least tried to.

Inside, they knew that you accepted you as a piece of their world. (Hi, I’m very subtle with my references yes? UwU) Your presence was so strong, they couldn’t have ever imagined living without you. Yet here they are, living without you.

They tried to not have their true feelings show up on their faces. They tried going on about their daily lives without a care. They tried to not let your absence disturb their mood whatsoever.

Believe me Reader-san, they tried very hard. But, it wasn’t working. No matter how much they try, they feel a void in their hearts.

A void… Only you could fill.

Over time, their moods began to deteriorate.

The dorm leaders will be seen with their heads buried deep in their work, trying to distract themselves from your absence, even Kalim has gone silent. They didn’t want to be bothered at all by your absence. But, no matter how focused they were, they couldn’t do it. They knew they had built a good relationship with you since their overblottings. You always had little chats with the dorm leaders whenever you manage to catch them alone. You would always put a small smile on their faces whenever you started to have small talks with them and you would always smile back to them. They treasured your relationship with them dearly, after all, they were dorm leaders, not everyone who approached them was as willing as you. When they invited you to either have tea or just to chat with them, you accepted without any hesitation at all. They were glad that you weren’t scared of them even after seeing how dangerous and powerful they can get, especially during their overblottings. They were glad, that you were there to snap them out of their state, they were glad that they got to live safe and sound because of you.

Now, without you, they fear they can never have those quaint little walks and talks anymore.

The vice dorm leaders and upperclassmen are doing their best to support their respective dorm leaders. But, no matter how hard they tried to cheer their dorm leaders up, nothing works. They too had a strong relationship with you, thanks to their respective dorm leaders, they also spent a lot of time with you whenever you came to their dorms for tea or just to hang out with their first years. You would also lend a hand to them whenever they needed it, let it be taking care of the dorm leaders or the other residents of the dorms, you were always happy and ready to help them. And also, thanks to them, you learned quite the set of skills in cooking! You couldn’t help it, the vice dorm leaders are always seen in the kitchen, prepping for food for their dorms, the smell and looks of the food lured you in and you started to help them instead. Of course, you get to taste test the final products.

With that being said, they too felt a little moody without you around. After all, you’ve helped them so much.

Your best friends, the first years, they had it bad. Sure, for the first two days Ace, Deuce, Epel, Jack and Sebek went on their merry way, with Ace and Deuce fighting over everything, Epel trying to be silent but he secretly wants to join in on the fights, Jack trying to separate the fight and Sebek was worried for Malleus instead of helping to separate the two quarrelling Heartslabyul first years. But then, they began to notice that it wasn’t the same without you. Jokes weren’t as funny anymore, classes were more boring than usual, activities and outings weren’t as exciting and fun as they used to be. After classes, your friends would immediately go back to their respective dorms instead of hang around on campus. They would be so much more silent and gloomy those days and like their dorm leaders, they distracted themselves with work. But, every time they would still think of you. How could they not? Almost everything reminded them of you. The wind that would gently breeze through your hair, the notes that you gave to them while they fell asleep in Trein’s classes, the potions that you messed up during Crewel’s classes.

To them, you were literally a piece of their world. (I’ll stop now :’) ) And without you, their world is incomplete.

Grim, the creature you loved dearly and took care of had it the worst. To him, you were the reason why he was even able to be at this prestigious college in the first place. Heck, you gave him more things than anyone ever did in his entire life! You cared for him with all your heart and so did he! So, why didn’t you tell him, the one who loved you the most, about your departure? WHY?! Why did you exclude him from something so important to you?! He was heartbroken at first, he should’ve noticed your change in attitude a few days ago but why didn’t he? He was disappointed in himself for not noticing and for not caring enough. Every day, after classes, he would immediately come to Ramshackle Dorm and sit in front of the building, looking at the door, wishing, hoping that it would open once again with you on the other side, your smile greeting him as it always did first thing in the morning and receiving a hug from you like any other day. He wanted more than anything to tell you that he loved and cared for you before you left.

But, it was too late now, wasn’t it?

Everyone’s mood didn’t go unnoticed by Crowley of course. He knew how your departure had affected his students, because it had also affected him too. You see, Crowley treated you like his very own child. When he let you and Grim stay at Ramshackle Dorm, you gave him a smile that melted his heart immediately. He knew he must protect you since you had no magic after all and in order to survive in Twisted Wonderland, one must at least know the basics of magic right?

He provided you with shelter, food and clothing, like any parent would. And you looked to him as if he was your father as well! You actually loved to have tea with him and tell him all sorts of stories you went through involving you and his students. He treated you as family and you did as well. So, your absence has also affected him gravely.

At last, no one could take it anymore.

On the third day of your departure, Ace and Deuce walked past Ramshackle Dorm after classes one day to find Grim at his spot, looking at the door again. Once they saw his expression, they felt slightly angered. They couldn’t bear to see the creature so broken.

“I can’t take this anymore!!” Ace suddenly yelled out. Deuce and Grim turned to look at him.

“Ace…” Deuce said.

“I can’t live like this… It’s… It’s not like us!” Ace said.

“You’re right… We need (Y/N) back.” Deuce replied, deep in thought.

“How do we do that?” Ace asked as he went to pick up the gloomy furball.

“Fgnaaaaa, it’s not like (Y/N) would want to come back even if we found her.” Grim said, but Ace and Deuce ignored him, they could at least try to get you back right?

“Why don’t we ask Headmaster for any options?” Deuce said.

“Well, we could give it a try.” Ace said. “Come on Grim, we can’t give up hope yet.” And so, the three of them set off to find the Headmaster.

“You… Want to get (Y/N) back?” Crowley asked the two students and one creature that stood in front of him.

“Yes, we would like to try.” Deuce said.

“… You do know it was (Y/N)’s wish to return home right?” Crowley asked again.

“We are aware.” Deuce replied again.

“What if (Y/N) doesn’t want to come back?”

“Look! No matter what happens, we would like to try! And even if (Y/N) doesn’t want to come back, as long as he/she’s happy, we’ll be satisfied!” Ace said with a loud voice, lowering his head. Deuce and Grim doing the same.

“We… just want to know (Y/N)’s happy back home.” The three of them said at the same time.

This… Shocked Crowley. Never has he seen any students at Night Raven College doing this much for a student who couldn’t even use magic. He was truly touched. The headmaster suddenly stood up, making the three first years jump a little.

“Right, go grab a broom and meet me in the field.” Crowley said.

“… And that’s how we arrived in your world.” Ace said. You were flabbergasted, everyone felt that way about you? You silently scolded yourself for not leaving a note or notice informing them about your departure, but most of all, you couldn’t help but feel like you were guilty of making them feel that way. You were so sorry to everyone.

“So… How did you guys find me?” You asked the trio.

“You took the ghost camera with you right?” Ace said with a smile.

“The camera emits magical energy. Since you said your world didn’t have magic, we felt the magic emitting off from the camera and found your home right away.” Deuce continued. You were shocked, the camera itself emitted magic energy and you didn’t know at all.

“But… We… Wanted to ask.” Ace spoke up.

“Why… Were you crying?” Grim asked. You looked at everyone as you took a gulp.

“Ah… You saw… Well…” You started and told what had happened after going back ‘home’.

After hearing the reason why you were silently crying in your room when they went to your room, Ace, Deuce and Grim could feel their blood boiling. How dare they do that to you? You weren’t a slave! You were someone special! Someone that matters and needs love! Someone that they care for with their hearts!

“Hah… I don’t think they even noticed I was gone anyway. Heck, they probably were glad that I was gone.” You said, ending your side of the story. You looked up to see your friends looking at you in worry.

“But, believe me, I remembered you guys every single moment when I was ‘home’. I’m so sorry for leaving in the first place, I didn’t mean to make you guys feel that way. I’m so sorry.” You said, looking down and letting tears fall out from your eyes.

“(Y/N)…” Ace, Deuce and Grim said, before reaching out to hug you.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize, as long as you’re happy, we’re happy.” Deuce said.

“Yeah, we couldn’t bear to see the one that brought smiles upon our faces be sad.” Ace continued.

“Thanks you guys…” You smiled and hugged them back.

After a few seconds, you guys pulled away from the hug.

“Come on, let’s go in, I’m pretty tired.” You said, walking up to Ramshackle Dorm’s main door and opening it.

Only to find a group of people waiting inside. No, wait. They were everyone you ever knew at Night Raven College!

The dorm leaders, Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia and Malleus.

The upperclassmen and vice dorm leaders, Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Jade, Floyd, Jamil, Rook, Lilia and Silver.

Your best friends, Jack, Epel and Sebek.

Even the staff, Crowley, Crewel, Trein, Vargas and Sam.

Even little Ortho!

“(Y/N)!!!” The group except the staff rushed to you and tackled you, Ace, Deuce and Grim in a hug.

“Welcome home, (Y/N)!!” Everyone said to you while hugging you. You smiled with tears in your eyes before saying a response to them.

“Yeah, I’m home.”

917 notes · View notes

sonic-spirit · 2 years

Text

Watch Your Step, Don’t Fall

Yanno what? Let’s talk about the OTHER reason I’m changing my project schedule. Which, to do that, I think I need to talk about WHY THESE two projects…which is honestly something about which I’m not sure how transparent I’ve been. WHEEE!

So yeah, we’ll start top-down: I’m a transgender Otherkin guy, which means my body HELLA doesn’t match who I am inside, the who and what I’d consider to be my real self.

Actually, first let’s define some terms real quick, since hey, you can never go wrong with establishing a baseline understanding up front, and I’m intending to post this one on several accounts and don’t want to assume just everyone has the baseline working knowledge on subjects that have a lot of misinformation around them. Plus then I get to lay out my own working definitions.

In short, “Otherkin” refers to someone who believes they are in some way not, or not entirely, human. I tend to default to assuming “spiritually not human,” but that’s not by any means the only way people experience their non-human-ness. For me, I identify as/experience myself as/am a non-MLP alicorn and also Sonic the Hedgehog, and spiritually I shift pretty fluidly between the two forms (I’ve had others come up, but these two have been my primary and most persistent forms for most of my life).

I don’t usually think it’s really worth it to get into the whys and hows of how someone being Otherkin happens. I think there’s a lot of possible causes, even just looking at it from a spiritual perspective, and once you add in other perspectives, like the psychological perspective, you get even more possibilities—and I assume that every single one of these possibilities are probably true for some individuals…but there’s literally no way to know what’s true for who, and all trying to figure it out does is tie us up in knots. Like, a certain amount of speculation is inevitable, chaos knows I have my own pet theories and ideas for what I think is going on with me—but the ACTUALLY IMPORTANT part is how it affects us in the here and now, what we’re experiencing, who we are, and what we can do to mitigate the adverse realities we find ourselves experiencing—like dysphoria. Fucking hell, does it absolutely suck to be in a body that feels so fucking alien to you.

Sooo, yeah. It Doesn’t Matter and New Normal are both born directly out of that complicated morass of experience—they’re both projects designed specifically to address my species and gender dysphoria. Cuz hey, I can get hormone replacement therapy, I can get surgery, but my body’s still gonna be human shaped, and most of my dysphoria is still gonna be here, always. It absolutely sucks, it hurts, and there’s approximately fuck all I can do about it.

It’s hard and it’s scary to talk about this stuff. I hate opening up these vulnerabilities, because everything I’ve learned in this world is that people LOVE to use the things that are important to you to hurt you. I honestly don’t understand it—I get lashing out in a moment, I reeeaaally don’t get the premeditated, targeted, malicious stuff. But whatever, that’s how some people choose to act, and I really do think that being open about my weirdness will help others out there. You’re not alone.

So It Doesn’t Matter (/especially/ IDM) and New Normal are ways to combat my dysphoria. They’re both explicitly ways for me to get into the headspace of one of my two main forms and just be in that for awhile. IDM especially is pseudo autobiographical, where I use the act of writing the thing itself as a focus for being in the moment, projected over to Home. Which yeah, is heckin’ unusual, and there’s a lot of personal stuff going on in that phenomenon. It’s not a one-to-one translation, stuff is edited, streamlined, all that Good Shit. Chaos knows I’ve nowhere near written down everything, and there’s definitely shit I’m more sure about the broad strokes of than the details, but yeah. That’s the deal with that.

New Normal isn’t that sort of project. It’s its own thing built of characters scrounged from scrapped projects, plot threads that couldn’t stand up on their own, ideas I just want to see played out in a visual medium, and some of my own weird, random experiences. It’s my “more commercial” project—and it’s BARELY commercial at all. But it does scratch the itch of letting me think about being a unicorn here in this world, and how navigating that while physically A Unicorn would look and feel. Plus, a lot of unicorn TFs end directly post-TF, and we barely get to see any of the adapting to their new life stuff, and that’s a major shame!

So yeah. That’s “Why These”. That’s why these projects in particular, instead of Thus Spake, the silly write-as-I-go from a quick and dirty what-if premise, or Anything But Ordinary, with a ton of interesting ideas already written and waiting to be adapted.

Which brings us alllll the way back around to The Point. I was just alternating these two by update, and now I’m gonna be going by week. Hell, before I started explicitly alternating between the two projects in January I was mostly just sporadically bouncing around interspersed with long periods of inactivity.

But needs change—they’re constantly fluctuating, actually. I don’t know how well my “Alternate by week,” plan will work, or for how long before I need to switch it up again. That’s normal, and to be expected, even if I wasn’t actively in the process of working through a lot of trauma. But yeah, I am, and it sucks. And as always, now that I’ve patched myself together enough for it to even be possible again, I’m starting to use making things to help myself heal.

A huge part of that process for me is the act of writing—in immersing myself in the life or situation, and explicitly feeling it out. It’s nice to be at a point where it’s possible to touch that, to be able to reach outside myself, and to have enough energy to make something with again. It’s been really hard, and it was hella scary to be messed up enough that doing so wasn’t an option, especially for so long…

So yeah. I say it all the time, but it’s usually faster to write something than draw it. I’ve had a pretty sizable backlog to work from for IDM and New Normal (it’s ESPECIALLY faster to write than animate!)…but on New Normal I’m finally at the end of the script for issue one…which means it’s time for Writing Time.

Buuut given the need to get into the right headspace TO write, and my own need to balance my two main forms, I was struggling. I wasn’t really having much success carving out explicit writing time with my project schedule as free-form as it was, and it was quickly turning into a situation where I was forcing an alicorn shift waaaaaay too frequently—for me, I can force a shift a few different ways, from doing a few things to encourage it to happen more easily to just jamming myself there by sheer force of will…but that’s neither healthy nor sustainable. And since my hedgehog form is usually my main form—to the point where I’ve joked about being a were-unicorn—shoving myself in that direction long term was gonna be a bad idea.

Sooo yeah. We’ll see how well this works for the moment, I’ve been in places where things like this work well, and in ones where it doesn’t work at all. I’m a little nervous about needing to be kinda strict with my shifting to coincide with this schedule. But yeah, needed to try something different! We’ll see how well it works for the time being!

#blog #otherkin

3 notes · View notes

laurelnose · 4 years

Text

monster! parasites!

you know how a few days ago i said we weren’t going to talk about monster parasites? that was a fucking lie.

the basis of my monster parasite thoughts are: every organism comes with its own internal ecosystem that goes with them everywhere. it’s like having built-in friends! ergo, when monsters crossed over to the witcher dimension during the Conjunction of Spheres they must have brought many new and delightful parasites with them. you know what fiend manes are full of? MITES. you know what drowners got on their skin? COPEPODS. what can we do with this information? anything we want.

i promise there are no pictures below the cut. i have tried to put warnings on all my sources but click any of the links below at your own risk. warning for internal and external parasites of animals, monsters, humans, and witchers; parasites altering the behavior of their hosts; and probably general body horror. if you read the eating-liver-flukes post that’s probably a decent baseline for how revolting you will find this post.

also, super obvious bias towards aquatic parasites as referents. my degree is fisheries science not terrestrial ecology so that’s primarily what i’m drawing on even though nearly all of the witcher monsters are terrestrial. there is a TON i’m missing here bc of that bias! specifically i really wish i could talk about how parasites of invasive species often act as co-invaders with their hosts and monsters definitely count as invasive species and would have majorly reshaped ecological interactions on the Continent but i don’t know enough about terrestrial ecosystems to speculate properly. (ETA: while i still think monsters would have majorly reshaped ecological interactions on the Continent, I don’t actually think they’re invasive species anymore!) hopefully you enjoy it anyways!

it is, hilariously, canon that parasites are used for alchemy. according to The Last Wish, the Temple of Melitele’s grotto grows a bunch of different “rare specimens—those which made up the ingredients of a witcher’s medicines and elixirs, magical philters and a sorcerer’s decoctions” and some of those specimens are, uh, “clusters of nematodes.” nematodes being parasitic roundworms. this is really funny because it’s so fucking weird. also everything else in this description is a plant or a fungus and nematodes are definitely animals? i choose to believe the world makes sense and nematodes aren’t plants in the witcherverse. therefore parasites are alchemical ingredients, it’s canon, give me more witchers digging through monster intestines in search of worms and put a nematode colony in the basement of corvo bianco please and thank you

this actually leads right into my personal favorite drowner headcanon (hello yes i’m tumblr user Socks Laurelnose and i am always thinking about drowners)—you know those bits where drowners kind of have red blotches in their skin? those are nematodes, actually, because i said so. the reference is Clavinema mariae, a nematode that infests English sole. the worms are basically harmless but they’re dark red and you can see them through the skin. it freaks people out and makes it hard to sell sole. (IMAGE WARNING: a picture of an infected flatfish. it looks mostly normal but there’s a dark red lesion near the fin.) said lesion is probably a coiled-up Clavinema. sole have so many of these, it’s not even funny (PDF article link, IMAGE WARNING for worms visible underneath skin of flatfishes. relevant images pointing out exactly how many worms on page 5). “but the red parts of drowners could just be flushed from blood”—no. worms.

okay that was my main specific-parasite-for-specific-monster headcanon (except also succubi probably have a unique species of lice for their hairy legs. but that’s barely even a headcanon, basically all terrestrial vertebrates have a unique species of lice.) i wanted to start with it because i think that everyone should feel free to arbitrarily assign a totally benign but conceptually gross worm to their favorite monsters. why not, yanno? also it probably sets the tone for the rest of this post.

carrying on: “what monsters might have nematodes, besides drowners,” you may be wondering? probably all of them! all of them are full of nematodes. nematodes are fucking everywhere. allow me to share a deeply unsettling quote from nematologist Nathan Cobb:

“In short, if all the matter in the universe except the nematodes were swept away, our world would still be dimly recognizable, and if, as disembodied spirits, we could then investigate it, we should find its mountains, hills, vales, rivers, lakes, and oceans represented by a film of nematodes. The location of towns would be decipherable since, for every massing of human beings, there would be a corresponding massing of certain nematodes. Trees would still stand in ghostly rows representing our streets and highways. The location of the various plants and animals would still be decipherable, and, had we sufficient knowledge, in many cases even their species could be determined by an examination of their erstwhile nematode parasites.”

jesus christ! thanks nathan, I hate it. nematodes are usually both benign and microscopic, but we’re talking witchers, we want some parasites we can fuckin get our hands on. sperm whale placentas are sometimes infested with nematodes up to 28 feet long but only a centimeter in diameter (Wikipedia link, no images). like an incredibly awful spaghetti! we don’t really seem to know if this bothers the sperm whales. also, i unfortunately do not know enough about the size of whale organs to tell you how big the placenta is in relation to this worm. the point is: real big monster? REAL BIG NEMATODES.

moving on from nematodes—okay, you know, since i mentioned eating deer liver flukes at the start of this post, let’s just go there. real life flukes max out at about 3 inches long, but hypothetical monster flukes could be much bigger and equally edible if desired. (if you’re wondering what a liver fluke would taste like: the flukes feed on the liver and they have very few organs of their own, so they would taste basically just like liver, just also long and flat like a fruit roll-up. if you’re going there, a witcher should not eat any flatworm live. if they’re digging them out of cockatrice livers or whatnot they should kill them before munching or save to cook later. it would probably be safe to eat one live, but you know that cliche “their tongues battled for dominance”? handling a live flatworm is like a handling very strong and energetic tongue complete with slime, okay, it wouldn’t be nice.)

parasites often need more than one host to complete the life cycle—for instance, Leucochloridium paradoxum (VIDEO WARNING: you may have seen this, it’s the one that makes snail eyes pulsating & green) has a bird stage and a snail stage, and it makes the snails look and act really weird in order to attract the birds. parasites altering host behavior to attract the next host in the life cycle is pretty well-documented; for instance, there’s an eye fluke that can make fish swim near the surface where predators can eat them (New Scientist article link, images of a microscope slide & a normal-looking fish) and a tapeworm that does the same and makes the dark silver fish turn white (JSTOR article, no images). i posit that at least some monsters are accompanied by “ill omens” of animals looking or acting strangely because they become infected with a stage of one of the monster’s parasites—usually, the mechanism is that internal parasites lay eggs that are passed in feces & transmitted that way. witchers who are up on their parasite ecology might be able to identify what monster is hanging around by observing exactly what kind of freaky-looking animals or animal behavior is going on around the area!

(if geralt is involved you may desire to have him explain this totally non-supernatural mechanism for abrupt animal appearance or behavioral changes at excruciating length to the chagrin of all present. or maybe that’s just what i desire. it would be funny okay)

potentially even more hyperspecific application of dual-stage parasites: there’s a dinoflagellate parasite that, when it infects crabs, makes the meat chalky and bitter like aspirin (Smithsonian link, images of healthy crab and microscope slide). geralt hunts down dinner, digs in, and immediately sighs and grabs jaskier’s portion away from him to the poet’s complete bafflement before going to get his swords because judging by the flavor there’s definitely a shishiga nest in this forest.

like. parasites are one of THE most hyperspecific things in biology. the majority of them have very specific hosts and life cycles, many of them are completely unique to a species, if you think a fictional parasite is too specific to be plausible you’re probably wrong, make it even more specific. “the witcher monster lore is so hyperspecific lol” IT AIN’T TRULY HYPERSPECIFIC UNTIL YOU CAN IDENTIFY EACH MONSTER SPECIES BY ITS UNIQUE PARASITIC LOAD, OKAY.

and, with regards to behavior-affecting parasites, before anyone brings up Cordyceps (Ophiocordyceps, as of 2008): yeah that sure is a thing! if you weren’t aware, just a couple of years ago we found out it actually is not a mind control fungus!! it bypasses the brain entirely and affects the muscles (Arstechnica article, Atlantic article—photos of fuzzy ants and electron microscope pictures of fungi). or as Ed Yong puts it, “The ant ends its life as a prisoner in its own body. Its brain is still in the driver's seat, but the fungus has the wheel.” which is. significantly worse than the brain thing. awesome!! i bet there would absolutely be similar fungal parasites of endrega and arachasae. real Ophiocordyceps still very much does not affect humans, but you know what, if plants can be cursed into becoming archespores and cultivated by mages i see no reason why mages could not also curse endrega fungus to affect humans, just saying

aaaand quickly back to hyperspecificity: monsters in different geographical areas having different abilities because of their symbionts. forktails in vicovaro acquire a bioluminescent symbiont in their diet that forktails in other parts of the continent can’t get, and they can create flashes of light? that’s sure gonna fuck a witcher on Cat up when he comes in the cave expecting a normal forktail. (geographic location affecting bioluminescence is a thing that actually happens in midshipman fish—Wikipedia link, no parasites.) geographically-dependent symbionts can also produce different toxins and such for their hosts! this isn’t exactly a parasitism thing per se (although parasites are also symbionts because ‘symbiosis’ refers to two organisms in close association not two organisms in positive association) but like. it’s cool okay ecology is so cool

writing fic and tired of all these same-old monsters-of-the-week? quick and easy way to spice up either the horror factor or just make the hunt stand out slightly: just add parasites!! i know i’ve read fics where monsters were described with distinguishing old wounds. you can do the same with parasites! i would fucking swoon over a detail like an ancient water hag’s eyes glowing in the dark, one of them marred by a dangling parasite—geralt notes the blind spot and presses his advantage. (Wikipedia link, no images: this one is referencing an aquatic copepod called Ommatokoita.) also, please put barnacles on skelliger drowners, i want it so badly. just—some percentage of monsters should be Extra Grody on the inside and/or the outside, that’s how nature works. spicing up a mundane hunt by making the monster a little extra gross for its species is Valid, is what I’m saying.

also, every single time frozen specimens with obvious fungal/ectoparasite infections come into the lab we absolutely always take extra close-up pictures of those suckers and make sure everyone else gets to see them. witchers bringing field sketches and notes of the weirdest shit they found on the path back for winter. lambert declares they’ll never know if this alleged fiend tumor was a fungus or mange because geralt sucks at drawing. eskel, the man who hauled a katakan corpse all the way up the mountain so he could dissect it, produces actual skin samples of his own encounters for examination, possibly in the middle of dinner. this elicits mixed reactions.

quick detour into preservation, since I went there—witchers are probably immune to parasites that infect humans by virtue of having pretty different biology to begin with, and probably immune to parasitic infections from other sources by virtue of superhumanly boosted immune systems and all the poison they put into their bodies on a regular basis. picking up a monster parasite would probably not be a big deal for witchers, either in that they have total immunity or that they would only be minimally and briefly affected, but the field of monster biology is likely such that they probably just don’t actually know what would happen to them in the majority of cases. this has potential as a source of battle stories and/or stories intended to freak out trainees, i think. therefore, out of caution, a witcher harvesting/preparing parts for alchemy might want to be sure to treat them first. personally i think all monster parts should be preserved immediately anyways to avoid attracting necrophages, and given that alchemical concoctions in witcherverse are alcohol-based, preservation in strong alcohol is probably the best way to maintain potency and kill basically everything. (cons: alcohol is SUPER heavy and jars are fragile. tissues or organs which are thicker than perhaps half an inch or an inch require additional preparation for the alcohol to penetrate properly. other preservation methods are more efficient for travel. depends on how soon your witcher intends to use or offload their stash.)

also, here’s an absolutely wild marine parasite that would make it worth a witcher’s while to make certain everything was dead! pearlfishes are long eel-like fishes that live inside the anus and respiratory organs (which are attached to the anus) of sea cucumbers, and they have pretty nasty teeth (PDF article link, IMAGE WARNING: dissected sea cucumbers literally stuffed to the gills with pearlfish). the highest number of pearlfish discovered in a single sea cucumber was sixteen (ResearchGate article, free PDF; no images). a different fact: we discovered tiger sharks eat each other in the womb because a researcher got bitten by a fetal tiger shark while he was dissecting the mother (NYT link, no images or parasites). what i’m saying is: parasites are often very small relative to the host and usually harmless to things rummaging around inside, but what if the monster’s parasites were also monstrous. give me a monster that has to be very dead or when you start rummaging around for alchemy ingredients the things in its intestines will lunge out and bite you.

what happens if a human becomes infected with a monster parasite? bad things, probably, i mentioned before that parasites in the wrong host, if they don’t just die, often super fuck things up internally (if you get tapeworms outside of the intestine where they’re supposed to be... it’s not good y’all. CDC link, no images). host-jumping for parasites is actually fairly rare since most of them are highly specialized for their hosts, but it does happen. humans are very not my strong suit so i’m not going to dwell on this but it is entirely possible that something like necrophage infestations or monster-contaminated water sources or just being a little too involved on a witcher’s monster hunt could produce strange parasitic diseases in humans. up to you how well-known and/or how clouded in superstition these effects might be! opportunities for hideous whump? gross body horror? messy and horrifying parasite-driven behavioral changes? terrifying and potentially prolonged uncertainty over what the issue actually is because of minimal information about parasites? the decision whether or not to dose with a witcher potion? excellent possibilities.

okay last one, just because i think it would be fun: myxosporeans and sirens. Myxos are a parasitic relative of jellyfish that produce whirling disease in baby salmon. whirling disease causes neurological and skeletal damage and has a pretty high mortality rate, but it also makes infected fish do this, well, whirling behavior and it’s honestly fascinating. (video link: a pretty normal-looking young trout spinning like a fuckin top). imagine a siren doing that in the sky. i just think myxos are neat!

tl;dr: extra grody hyperspecific biology of monsters!!!

#kaer morhen biology of monsters 101 #fic reference #parasites cw #VERY parasites cw #body horror cw #i have a bunch of new followers who i think came for library content and to you i am so sorry #half the time i am yelling about libraries but the other half of the time i am yelling about the GROSSEST bio shit

158 notes · View notes

sylph-feather · 3 years

Text

hold on im shifting into oc mode.. i want to tell you about my ridiculous sci fi universe.......

i just came up with the name for the species rn— theyre the kaleidos. liable to change but for ease of reference. This is what the main character of all this looks like.

LETS START OFF WITH THEIR BASIC ENVIRONMENT

Their world is essentially SUPER acidic. They had mammalian and avian / soft skin type creatures, but there was some extinction event and now what’s left is armored, similar to bugs, because the acid that became present in said environment makes soft organic material disintegrate.

“Well they must be soft on the inside so how do they eat/drink when everything is inundated with acid?” Well, the fruiting plants essentially act as massive filtered, pure water storage & nutrients! Yay!

Currently, the surface is basically in megafauna eta. I have to specify the surface because underneath the surface theres a race of sentient predator carnivore mole people (because soft stuff can exist in that environment, because the trees are like Nausicaa), but i digress, because this ain’t about them

THE KALEIDOS IN PARTICULAR

are super duper like, scavenger type, and vaguely prey. They’re very quick. In terms of society, this makes them prone to being kind of flighty/nervous, and generally non-confrontational.

They have wing-like structures but CANNOT fly— instead these “wings” are for VISUAL communication. See the Kaleidos are an extremely visual race— initially, their skill for color shifting (like a chameleon), shifting their hair and panels (wings), was born of a need to hide, or to mimic bigger things (like eye spots). They would link their panels together in a flock and create even bigger images.

They also are extremely good vocal mimics, between the fact that they can control hairs to brush/vibrate against each other, as well as having powerful spoken mimicry— this adds to their illusions.

NOW, their language revolves around color and music. For example, names are often the color(s) an individual chooses to present as frequently (aka like base colors) and a little musical jingle. Their written language is basically colored music and yes that means they all carry one of those pens you can click to be different ink colors

CURRENTLY, their society kind of... achieved utopia.

The Kaleidos are, to put it basically, kind of hippies; very in touch with the balance of their planet’s wellbeing. Everyone else in the galaxy was focussed on eating up resources for the nonrenewable fuel their systems relied on for so long, and that their societies were built off of, but the Kaleidos were ALWAYS searching for the most renewable way.

They started off with wind/solar, classic renewables. As everyone else fought each other in wars (that were probably also motivated for, yanno, war’s sake, like many wars), the Kaleidos kept to themselves (it helped their planet is inhospitable to others and thus undesirable) and studied renewable energy. What they found was that whole “particles that are entangled act dependent on each other no matter the distance.”

Which they then utilized by essentially turning entangled particles into batteries, and launching 1/2 of each battery into stars and black holes and whatnot, the fucking mad lads. This created essentially free energy, and a lot of tech that was purely theoretical but too costly in energy— like FTL travel and warp gates— became available to them.

HOWEVER, due to the fact a lot of the other alien societies are built upon nonrenewable energy’s demand / etc, everyone else essentially rejects the Kaleidos and they are painted as hippy-dippy weirdos who are full of flowers and nonsense.

The Kaleidos, meanwhile, kind of just... dispassionately commit themselves to exploring. They’re not EXACTLY curious— I mean they ARE, but they DID literally just make themselves the perfect society— nor are they interested in any sort of conquering (remember, very non-confrontational). No, it’s more a combo of “well, uh, what now?” as well as “well we might as well spread our tech to help people as far as we can, and we get to place more warpgates to travel new places as we go further anyways, so win-win”

OVERALL i kind of find this all hilarious

My rough sketch for the primary story of this setting is Chroma (the alien in the pic linked first) is a kind of scout for the Kaleidos, and is basically meant to be there to study Earth to understand how the Kaleidos could interact with people peacefully. Shit probably goes wrong, as per usual in a story, and Chroma ends up having to tag team on various shenanigans with 2 college students that have found out they were an alien— a biologist and a techy. Overall, it’s more about silly/fun adventures and gags (ie, “im about to use my hologram tech to look average human” *humans think about chroma’s human sona which is like a gijinka* *chroma becomes a 40yo literally perfectly average chinese man)

Im not entirely sure what the plot is overall— maybe just a fetch quest for lost alien shit, maybe just a “human study session”— but i think its fun and hopefully maybe you did too

#oc #oc shit #chroma

5 notes · View notes

dreemurr-skelememer · 4 years

Note

What's your thoughts on HorrorLust? I always had the idea where LustTale finally took care of the population problem and not as many ppl have to go to 'work' anymore. Lusty bby learning how to ACTUALLY love where Horror is big ol protective man in the others sensitive times.

horrorlust to me is,,,,,,ok for the most part! im alright with it

for that plot though, that’s why i ship my classiclust nsknrknskrsnk

because to me, horror is the one that needs the most help.

horrorfarm works with me because,,,

horror was stuck in a world where his life went from alright to a spiraling hell, where everyone whom he loved was hungry and in pain while undyne dictated hell upon everything

farmtale is. farmtale!

i don’t have a set meeting of how farm and horror might’ve met but surely, the gentleness and hard work he’s built inside of himself can take care of a sad broken baby boy yanno

they just live on the farm and live life. horror is getting better slowly but farm is with him all the way

i’ll ramble about classiclust and how i think horrorlust might and might not work if youre interested u.u

#Anonymous

127 notes · View notes

coasttocoastreads · 4 years

Text

It’s Week 4 and Zoom University™️ is murdering me. But while ignoring my long backlog of lectures to watch, I stayed up until four to finish this book:

Chain of Gold // Cassandra Clare

★★★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one gif:

Real Summary:

We return to the world of The Infernal Devices, this time focusing on the next generation of Shadowhunters of the London Institute. After years of peace, London’s tranquility is broken by a series of bizarre demon attacks. James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs, and their friends must figure out who is behind the attacks while navigating their own complex relationships with each other and their families.

Pros:

women with swords!

very nuanced characters

mutual Pining

Cons:

wayyyyy too many characters are introduced at once

slow af in beginning

Plot: 4/5

The overall plot seemed very standard shadowhunters with some new demon orchestrating everything, etc. etc. I was really taken in by the intricacies of the families plot though, like what was happening with each of their different families. The little flashback chapters in between the longer ones were also nice insights into each of the characters. However, I do think this book could have been a lot better if the ending wasn’t already pre-determined due to this being a prequel series? Like Cassis Clare has kind of written herself into a spot where she can only fill in the blanks and not really change the ending, yanno.

Pacing: 3/5

The first half was really slow and I definitely put down the book several times. But by the end, I had to read the rest in one go because lots of things were happening and I had to find out how it ended.

Worldbuilding: 4/5 I guess???

I mean she mostly built the world up with her other books? It was cool to see the idea of separate universes once again, even though Ragnor Fell’s explanation of them wasn’t super clear. I also. Really want. More Asian Shadowhunters. From the Asian Institutes.

Characters: 6/5

It was initially really hard to keep track of who’s who since they’re all related and stuff but WOW I LOVE ALL OF THEM. The way they all interact is very precious and like squad goals???? Like I don’t even care that much about like shipping characters I just want them to be happy and do dumb things together 🥺 Literally Alastair and Cordelia are the most precious siblings ever and I want many many books featuring just them and their childhood.

Also Lucie is a precious bean and I would die for her.

I’d recommend for:

People who loved TID

People who like found family tropes!

People who have big brains and can keep all the names straight

Would I travel here?

Can I? Please? I just want to meet Cordelia and be her friend 🥺🥺

Overall thoughts:

Cassie Clare is killing me with the angst but I like. Need more. Also everyone just needs a hug.

I have no idea what I’m reading next, but see y’all,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I SAID I WASN’T INVESTED IN SHIPPING BUT I AM????? JUST A LITTLE BIT??????

I don’t...actually ship...James and Cordelia...Cordelia and Matthew endgame please

I know the family tree says differently...but I have theories please ask me about them

Do i have to write something for them I might

secret...arrangement...

their characters complement each other so well????? Like I felt so bad when he walked in on James and Cordelia in the Whispering Room

Sad pining boi who won’t tell the girl how he feels so he won’t hurt his friend I’m weak

ALASTAIR IS PRECIOUS AND MUST BE PROTECTED

like the flashback scene where he came home and told Cordelia what he was doing at the Academy made me so sad :((((((

WHERE’S THE ALASTAIRxTHOMAS CONTENT

Charles is a loser and that’s the hill I’ll die on

Fake marriage/engagement??? Not my favorite trope but we’ll see where it goes I guess? istg if they actually get married and they really fall in love on the way imma push them into the Thames I don’t like jordelia (?)

ANNA LIGHTWOOD IS AN ICON

honestly i ship anna x cordelia more than jordelia but okay

Sona is an eternal mood

Also why are all the asian/middle eastern characters half white... there’s Jem, Aline, Cordelia and Alastair... I’m tired of this...

#chain of gold #cassandra clare #the last hours #tiffs reviews #4 stars #fantasy #booklr #bookblr #bookstagram #book review #yalit #reading #books

38 notes · View notes

thede-vil · 4 years

Text

candice headcanons & things.

candice has been an absolute nightmare since she was a child. she’s an only child and her father spoiled her, if only to not have to put up with her bullshit. there was no such thing as no in the da vil household, and no expense to great to get little candice far away from her father and all his importance.

where her father is distant and buys gifts to keep her occupied, her mother is overbearing and applies pressure to young candice’s shoulders. dione da vil expects nothing less than greatness from her daughter, and the older woman never misses an opportunity to remind candice that the world outside their estate will eat her alive if she’s too weak.

everything in the da vil house is a competition; who has the best success story of the night, who can answer the trivia question of the night the quickest. every moment in that house is a chance to show off your superiority and it’s from here that candice gets her competitive streak.

she calls herself a “self made millionaire” but let’s be clear, there’s not really much self made about her. sure, she built her business and cultivated a fan base and a reputation for excellence and has even gone on to style some of the world’s biggest celebrities; but candice has always had the da vil name to fall back on. she’s always had a leg up on the competition because she got to watch her mother navigate these very waters as a child, she was a master at the game before she’d even entered.

candice treats everyone in her life as a means to an end. her instagram is filled with pictures of smiling models and celebrities who she adores so long as they keep wearing her clothes. if you’re on top, she’s your best friend, but don’t expect her to help you up when you fall from grace. it’s a great way to move through the cut throat ever changing world of fashion, but it’s not necessarily the best way to treat people.

candice never really had many genuine friends, only people she needed for the moment. her parents weren’t necessarily the warmest people around, and talking about anything she was going through was only ever met with remarks that she’s got to stop being such a cry baby. so candice’s emotional control is not....the best. she’s always just seconds away from flying off the handle. when she was a teenager a doctor suggested she could have bipolar disorder, and, honestly it made sense why she suffers from such drastic mood swings. candice didn’t see it that way, simply screamed and chased the doctor out of the room waving her stilettos at him. she admits now, it could have been a bit of an overreaction, but how dare he imply there was something off about her. she was perfect. she had to be because of her parents, because of the world.

candice is passionate almost to the point of obsession. she wants what she wants and she will do anything to get it. she’s ruthless and cruel and has no problem stepping on the backs of former friends and allies to get ahead. it’s just business afterall, and the world can be so cut throat for women. you’ve just got to do what you got to do.

anyone that knows candice knows her to be intense, driven and egotistical. she wears it like a badge of honor, knows that if she were a man she’d be applauded for being set to her goals as opposed to despised by her peers.

candice loves art and music, finds small pleasures in going to small galleries or open mics (ok, she can only really stay for like ten minutes because bar people are kind of gross and she doesn’t want them touching her). inspiration strikes at any time and seeing others’ art in different mediums never ceases to give her the creative boost she needs.

candice has not been able to keep an assistant for more than four months. they always run away crying that she’s too demanding, or that she assaulted them. which, by the way, throwing a lamp at someone for being an idiot isn’t assult, just duck ok.

any charges pressed against her for alleged assaults are always dropped the second a check is clear. the world need not know she’s a nightmare, that would destroy everything she’s worked so hard to build.

she is very honest and blunt and you should never ask her for her opinion if you don’t want to get your feelings hurt.

PETA, as an organization, fucking sucks. like just mind your business ok. she hasn’t dabbled in designs that utilize fur in a while because she’s afraid of what that backlash will be. she can even be spotted at animal shelters playing with dirty little mutts, er...she means nice sweet dogs in need of love. appearances are everything, and she knows she would be absolutely destroyed if anyone were to ever find about her closet of mink coats and her fur rugs.

she’s bisexual, but not many people know that small fact about her as she’s certain her parents would not take kindly to such deviance. whatever, it’s not the fucking 1700s.

WANTED PLOTS/CONNECTIONS.

boys don’t cry; having you on her arm is honestly just business for her. you’re sweet and have a dazzling smile and everyone just adores you, and she needs people to adore her too, business is good when people like you. mom taught her that. well, unfortunately for candice she doesn’t have a single likeable trait in her body, but that’s ok, she’ll make you think she does just long enough for her to get the positive publicity she needs for her new launch.

NASA; a past girlfriend/boyfriend. candice is no stranger to physical intimacy. sex is sex and sometimes she could use the distraction, sometimes she needs the release as there’s always just so much tension breathing in between her muscles. but when it comes down to the other part of a relationship, you know, the feelings she turns icy and her gaze can freeze you to that spot. last you heard from her she was going on a business trip and the next thing you know she’s on instagram with her lips on someone else. and when she returns and you bring it up, she makes it seem like you’re the problem in the equation. like it’s your fault that you’re so needy and clingy and you want too much. candice had never been the warmest or fuzziest person around but that level of selfishness and disinterest was shocking, even from her.

boss bitch; rivalry with another fashion designer or even just an old classmate who she could never get along with. i promise she won’t murder your character, there’ll just be a lot of manipulation and maybe she’ll try to drive you off the road if she gets mad enough. who knows.

ways to be wicked; i’m just here to fight and create chaos so i request villains being villains together ok. there’s nothing more to that.

devil wears prada; yeah i’ma be a cliche and ask for an aspiring designer to intern. candice can be a mentor and it can be a nightmare for everyone involved but the pay is great and you get to go to great parties and you’ll learn a lot ok. just yanno duck when things start flying.

i’m down for just about anything and honestly very very chill so feel free to message me for anything your little heart desires.

#&. headcanons.#👿 it’s always in my head; everything is always about you. (about.)

8 notes · View notes