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thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed · 1 year

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Comeback

Word count: 1.5K

Summary: after a break up with Jenna, this is what you’re going through

Warnings: angst angst, bad writing

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Rrader

———

“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.”

This is what you and Jenna said to each other multiple times during your short lived relationship. It was one if not THE best relationship you ever had, she was the best person you had ever met. You were perfect for one another, however you had two very different necessities. She was a worldwide known actress, and you were just one of the people she met before becoming famous. It was nice, at first. When your relationship was made public you had lots of fans, lots of people cherished what you had with Jenna, and soon enough you found yourself being invited to movie premieres with her and you were also under the attentions of paparazzis and interviewers and journalists. You didn’t mind that, you had to say. You loved absolutely everything about Jenna’s world and you were there to support her each step of the way.

you were there to support her the moments she broke down, telling her that everything was going to be okay. You were there the moment when the pressure would become too much, and she would feel at ease in her arms. You were there for her, no matter what she needed you were there.

But when you needed her, where was she?

“I can’t today, I have an interview”

“Babe I have filming this month, you know I don’t have time”

“I’m going out with the rest of the cast, I’ll see you at home”

As much as you wanted to be involved in her life, she never let you in completely. She never brought you on sets, she never introduced you to her friends, and sooner than expected you started feeling just like a distraction.

“Why are you still with her? This hurts you, and you know that. You don’t deserve to get hurt from this relationship.” Your mom asked you.

Because some times, We hold on to those who cannot love us for so many reasons. Sometimes, we hold on because we convince ourselves that the circumstance will change - that if we love harder, if we give more, if we stay, if we endure, the situation will evolve. The value of our love will be recognized, it will be chosen. Sometimes, we hold on because we feel like we have to. We feel like we have to be the ones to fix, the ones to mend, the ones to prove that human beings don't give up on a person they see something beautiful within.Sometimes, we hold on because we feel guilty, because we think that walking away and choosing ourselves is us discarding someone we care about, is us abandoning a human being. And sometimes, we hold on because we think that we will never find the kind of person who proves to us that love is not something that is meant to hurt. Sometimes, we hold on because we lose our belief in the fact that love has the potential to be soft, that there is more to life than what we are settling for.

And you want to hold on. You want to hold on because you really hope that she’ll find your way back to you. Because after all you’re perfect for each other. You knew that from the beginning.

From the beginning you knew, well, you hoped that you’d spend the rest of your lives together. But now?

Now you’re strangers again. And remembering how close the two of you used to be, it hurts you. Even after months, you still remember the smell of her perfume. The sound of her laugh, that you’ll probably never hear again. And you’ll always remember small details about her. The time the two of you spent together wasn’t much, and you wish you had more time with her, but you’re glad that your paths crossed, even if just for a while. And even though in the end she decided to leave, maybe she did what was best for you. For now you will love her silently, because you’re strangers again.

You don’t talk anymore, that’ true, but that doesn’t mean that you forget about her, and you know you can’t be anything anymore so you try, you try to move on from her but some times, part of you is still wishing for her to come back to you.

And she did,

She came back.

It was late at night when you heard your bell ring. You saw from your window that it was Jenna, and you had to be honest, you wanted to ignore her and go back to sleep. But you’re too nice. If she called you crying, you would answer. If her mother called you saying “(Y/N) we have an emergency, we need you” you’d rush at her place. If Jenna ever needs comfort, you’ll be there, every time. Maybe you’re too good, to sweet. But it’s who you are, and nothing can change that.

You went and opened the door for her. As soon as you did you looked in her eyes, you saw she was crying and you invited her in. You wanted to hug her and comfort her, but you knew better.

“What do you want, Jenna?” You asked her and crossed your arms, watching as she sat down on the sofa in the living room. She took a deep breath and spoke, trying not to sob. “I miss you. I’m so sorry if I hurt you, please, please forgive me” she said, and you chuckled, making her look at you. “Forgive you? Jenna you didn’t just hurt me, you broke me. You kept pushing me away, you kept excluding me from your life. For you I only existed when you needed support, and when you were asked to bring someone to the movie premieres. I didn’t exist as your girlfriend, I didn’t exist as the woman you come home to. I didn’t exist at all, because whenever I needed you, you ignored me.”

“You kept pushing me away, but I alwavs chose to stay. So, shame on me. Shame on me for letting you walk all over me. Shame on me for letting you get into the depths of my soul that no one has ever touched. Shame on me for putting up with your mind games.“

You saw Jenna’s eyes fill with a new bash of tears, and she tried to speak but you were quicker

“Shame on you for always misleading me. Shame on you for always making me feel we had a chance. Shame on you for keeping me in your fantasy of what we could be; when you had every opportunity to set me free, you chose to let me dream.”

“(Y/N) please, please just let me try to win your heart again, let me try ti fix it-“ she sobbed out, but you have had enough. “No, Jenna. I’m done with your games, I’m done with only being used as a distraction, I’m done with only being there only when it’s convenient for you. Just leave and forget about me. I’m just a stupid normal girl after all I’m not famous like you, I’m not an actress or someone you want to be seen with so I’m sure it will be easy for you to forget about me.”

You said and didn’t look at her, you put your hands in your hair. Now you changed your mind, You just wanted to keep her in your memories, keep her locked there and never see her again.

“But what if I never forget you?” She said all of the sudden, you turned to look at her. “What if, all my life, when I meet someone new I can never fall for them because they aren’t you?” Jenna asked. You wanted to tell her that you will never forget her, that you’ll never find someone like her and that you wanted to be a couple with her again. But your pride was stronger than that.

“Find a replacement. You already did that, all the times that you were acting smitten and all lovey dovey with Percy.” There. She asked for it, didn’t she?

You watched Jenna react like a mouse who just got caught in a trap, like this was her deepest secret.

“What are you talking about?” She said, trying to play dumb.

“Jenna, enough. I’m tired if being a replacement and for someone I want to be someone that isn’t so easily replaced.”

#Spotify #jenna #ortega #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x r #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader

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youareunbearable · 2 years

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I swear I wrote this down before, but I cant find it in any of my notes so here's a little fun idea! When the world gets recreated so its no longer Arda Marred, I think the Valar got together and Looked at the Finwe problem and shrugged and decided to make all of Miriel and her descendants Maiar to slove that tricky little problem of Remarriage.

Because the Feanorians are now Maiar, they aren't technically born, meaning they aren't really siblings and part of the same family so there is no real issue in separating them now is there?

Miriel is one of Vaire's weavers of course, and Feanor is one of Aule's most talented smiths, but that is understandable as he is the spirit of Hearth Fire itself. There are others within Aule's Halls, but their knowledge of each other is passing, for Celebrimbor tends to stay with the jewelry makers and Curufin likes creating hunting gear for Orome's hunt

Orome is almost never seen without his most prized hunter, Celegorm, who prefers a form that looks more wolf than Elf.

Vana, Orome's wife, herself has a pair of giggling and twittering songbirds that follow her around as she follows her husband's Hunt. They dance and sing and twirl in sync that many often just call the pair of them by a singular name, Ambarussa.

Irmo within his forest full of Song and Music has a very talented Maia that is so in tune with thr Song that they can play with it however they choose. Maglor only uses this ability to give the Elves good dreams, of course.

Este is forever thankful of her assistant Caranthir, who keeps all her medical necessities and books in order, so she is always prepared to help those in need, even if he himself doesn't have the best beside manner.

Lady Nienna’s Maia, Maedhros is a bit more of a recluse. He is charming when spoken too, but there is something distant, some type of lingering melancholy that clings to him, like a weak dawn in the deepest days of winter. He tends to hide himself away in the forests surrounding Formenos, helping those who are lost find their way back home.

Then there are Finwe and his beautiful wife Indis, their children, and many grandchildren. They are a stunning example of a happy family, and all the citizens of Tirion love having them as their royal family. Nothing is ever wrong, even when Fingolfin’s daughter Aredhel got lost during a hunt, she was lucky enough to be escorted back to her worried brothers' camp.

Fingon, who had never felt the degree of terror that flooded his veins at the thought of his sister lost in the woods, terror that was much stronger than what was called for because what could befell her in their peaceful land of Valinor?

She was being ferried on the back of a behemoth of a horse, pristine and laughing at the antics of the silver wolf-like Maia walking at her side. The horse was being led by a silent Maia, who smiled softly at the pair but made no move to include himself.

Fingon looked up at the tall Maia, and felt something in his fea shatter. He always had felt like something was missing, that he would havr an urge to go looking for someone he could never find, catch himself looking up to share an idea with someone who must have been taller than him only to look up at empty air. His bed felt so cold, but no matter how high he tended the hearth flames he knew it was because it was empty. He would look to the distant mountains and see a dawn peaking over their tops and weep as something in his fea ached.

Everything felt so overwhelming when he looked at this Maia, this being that looked cold, who wore furs and had snow dusting his shoulders even though it was a warm sunny summer day. Fingon was so lost in the sensations swirling within him that he was too slow to act before the Maia helped Aredhel off his horse, swung up himself and was out of the clearing. That wolfish Maia giving his sister a laughing twirl before bounding off into the thicket, chasing after the distant horn call.

Fingon’s knees felt weak, he found himself sinking to the forest floor. This world may be Arda Remade, but he still felt Marred.

#amber rambles #Silmarillion #maedhros #Feanorians #fingon #there was more to this that i thought i wrote down #basically the story is in Arda Remade fingon finds that he is the only one in his family that feels Off #he doesnt knkw why. no one has memories of arda marred but fingon knows he lost something precious to him in the remaking #finwe is worried for his eldest grandson. he doenst know why seeing someone he loves turn so melancholic makes him afraid #it just does. so he urges fingon to visit Lorien to soothe his Fea and heal #here he meets Caranthir and Maglor and he feels a connection to both and spends a lot of his time he #there bothering the both of them and he shares his feelings with maglor who just humms and agrees with him #that the Music within his fea is missing something.maybe someone? maybe hes supposed to go out and find them #maglor tells him to let the Music guide him and Caranthir gives him supplies and then fingon is off #he travels around Valinor by himself. where he meets the other non-Feanorians and feels pieces slot together #his most eye opening experience was meeting with the Maia Feanor and his Elf lover Nerdanel up in Formenos #she agrees with him that what hes feeling is valid as she also lost something in the Remaking #she cannot have children and this aches as she has dreams of a full house and 7 perfect sons that are no longer hers #she shows him her sculptures and as he looks he realizes he has met most of them on his journey! not elves like she has created #but Maiar who under their unnatural differneces look almost identical to these sculptures #he pauses at the last one. the unfamiliar one. Nerdanel sighs and says she feels like this one was her first born #the one she lost even before the Remaking. Fingon feels the same. this face makes him ache.#he wanders the forest that night haunted by these people. these elves he feels like he should know but doesnt. hes so in his thoughts #he doesnt realize hes lost. he calls out into the woods and hears nothing call back but his echos. a chill crawls up his spine #his breath begins to fog and there is a sound behind him and he twirls and there is rhat sculpture. his missing piece #Dont Worry. the figure of Winter and Memory says to him. I Found You #You Found Me. Fingon replies

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naminethewriter · 2 years

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How Lucky

Day 7 and it’s getting really sappy 💛💙 Not much else to say, hope you enjoy! @loceitweek2022

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Loceit Week 2022 Masterpost

Summary: Janus and Logan have a Surprise-Date-Night.

Surprise-Date-Night had been Janus’ idea. Planning out an entire evening that both would enjoy alone became too stressful and lead to no dates at all. Which was a shame since both Logan and Janus enjoyed going out together but planning was a chore and neither excelled in spontaneity.

So Janus offered a compromise: They would agree on a day and then each would choose one activity for them to do for two hours or so that they believe the other would enjoy. Who started would change each time and between both activities would be a meal somewhere they decided on together.

It made the process much easier for both of them.

This evening Logan’s choice was first and Janus was curious to see what his fiancé had come up with. They walked there from their shared apartment, enjoying the stroll in comfortable silence. The temperature was nice, light coats were enough to keep them warm and holding hands didn’t feel too clammy.

After around fifteen minutes, Logan came to a stop in front of a little spa Janus had been wanting to go to for months now but getting a reservation was hard.

“Oh darling,” Janus cooed. “How did you pull that off?”

“A colleague of mine had made the appointment a while ago and told me about it in passing and then I told him how you wanted to go there as well someday but couldn’t plan for a reservation that far ahead. So when my colleague was unable to attend said appointment due to unforeseen circumstances, he asked me if I would like to use his time instead. It was a stroke of luck, as they say.”

“And that’s why you suggested this date for our date night, I see.” He pulled Logan in for a quick kiss. “I love you, thank you.”

“I love you too and you should wait to thank me until after the treatment. Shall we?”

“With pleasure.”

They spend the next two hours getting pampered. Massages, mud baths, face masks and a mani-pedi. At first Logan didn’t understand the necessity of the latter but he couldn’t argue that his nails looked very healthy afterwards. Janus had his painted in his favorite combination of black and gold.

Their next stop was a lovely Italian restaurant they frequented. They had agreed on it because it was a familiar environment with food they knew they enjoyed and neither was feeling like experimenting that evening. Plus, it was only a five-minute walk from their apartment and Janus’ surprise required them driving out of town. Logan was very curious and could not stop himself from asking questions that Janus wouldn’t answer.

“No ruining the surprise, darling.”

Dinner was as pleasant as they expected. The staff new them and greeted them warmly, the food was excellent and conversation flowed without issue. At one point Janus found himself simply staring at Logan while he ate, again wondering just how he’d gotten so lucky. When Logan eventually noticed, Janus told him as much and was treated to the beautiful sight of his fiancé turning bright red.

Back at the apartment, Janus advised Logan to dress more warmly because they would stay out for a while and the temperature would be dropping once the sun set. Logan tried one final time to get a hint about their activity but to no avail. While he changed, Janus went to check that he had everything they would need in their car before he grabbed a warmer jacket and a scarf for himself.

The drive was quite long for date night, usually they would stick to areas within twenty minutes of their apartment. It was around thirty minutes in that Janus asked Logan to check the compartment in front of him where he found a sleep mask.

“I do not understand.”

“Put it on and do not take it off until I say so.”

“I’m not sure I am comfortable with this.”

“You don’t have to, of course, but it would make me very happy if you did. You will not even have to leave the car with it on. I just need some time to set something up without you looking.”

“We haven’t even stopped yet.”

“We will in less than five minutes. Please Logan, just trust me.” His fiancé sighed.

“Very well.”

“Thank you, dear.”

True to his word, Janus stopped the car only a few minutes later. Logan had no idea where they were, but they had taken a turn and afterwards the road was quite rough. Janus asked him to wait a moment and left the car, the trunk opened soon after. He sat and waited, listening to the playlist of classical music still playing.

Eventually – and Logan could not tell you how long he had waited – the door on the passenger side opened and Janus spoke quietly next to him.

“You can take it off now, dear. Thank you for your patience.”

Logan did so and before him was the open sky. The car was parked on the edge of an open, grassy field. The sun was shining its last rays and the first stars were beginning to come out. He could already tell that once the light had vanished, he would get to see them like he hasn’t in a long time. He looked over at his fiancé who smiled at him.

“Come on, that’s not all.” Logan had no idea how this was going to get better, but he took the hand Janus offered him and let himself be led to a picnic blanket Janus had laid out. Next to it stood Logan’s telescope, fully assembled.

“You set it up by yourself?” he asked, voice small.

“Indeed. Took me a few practice runs but I figured it out.” It wasn’t an easy thing to do and Logan was touched that he took the time to learn just to surprise him.

“Thank you, Janus. This means more to me than I could ever put into words.” Janus smiled at him again with such fondness that he couldn’t help but pull him into another kiss. They stayed like that for a while until Janus pulled away.

“Let’s sit. I brought wine and tea. Tell me about the stars for a while.”

Logan followed him without complaint, thinking: How did I get so lucky?

#namiswriting #loceitweekday7 #day 7: date night #loceit #ts logan #logan sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #fluff #date night #they're engaged and totally in love with each other #sanders sides fanfiction #reblogs are appreciated

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bonnevivnt · 2 years

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every day, natasha starts her lack of non-routine, earlier than what could be expected from a traveller. first, she packs her bags. she’s not going anywhere soon, don’t be fooled. her act is done simply for the feeling she gets when she finishes it, taking one step back and realizing what that could mean. the room is empty, all of her few important possessions are protected. if she wanted, she could leave and get to a whole new place without contacting anyone. that simple, no major complications besides buying a ticket and leaving involved. she could pull the root and start again, far away. she imagines herself calling her friends to tell the news and already knows how much they are going to laugh at the phone, at the same time they nod their heads and search for some headache pills to ease the blow. oh, tash, you did it again! yes, she did. will you ever stay still anywhere again? she doesn’t know.

but the most important part of the ritual is not that she is going to leave. the answer is that she will be able to, if she wants. but she doesn’t. it’s just out of necessity, to remind herself that, every day, she has a choice to make, and that is staying in venice. she collects her belongings, takes a much desired cold shower, spends what feels like an hour going from one place to another, tasting various breakfast dishes, and from there everything can happen. the general rule is to relax and have fun, something natasha does quite well, especially in venice. copenhagem lasted one month, paris lasted six, but she has been in venice for a considerable time at this point, and with no intention of putting an end to it. maybe it’s because of the beautiful scenaries, maybe it’s because the mediterranean countries simply seem to fit her better, but no place has treated her better.

some would say it’s because of a person. they wouldn’t be wrong. it is because of daisy today, or bella allora, like she’d rave when she felt like it, that she does things with surgical precision, spends a few minutes more trying to choose which shirt she’ll wear later. not that she is ready to admit it yet, but it’s true: venice is better because of daisy, local artist and natasha’s usual company of choice for the day. she wonder how she will survive when they finally depart, how it will be their days together become mere and distant memories...

and then she puts the thought away very quickly. what matters is that they can be together right now! the lovely green vespa is shining bright, natasha has her sunglasses, daisy is as beautiful as always, she can feel that, after all the preparations, they are off to a great day. “are you sure that everything is alright with the bambino?” she timidly points to the door, patiently waiting on the sidewalk. “we don’t have to go too far. besides your bubble, i haven’t visited much of venice yet, believe it or not,” she laughs along, a little bit at herself. “and i’m sure there is no better guide around. just show me your moves! or we can stay right here. you know i have nothing against pasta and a great time.”

#threads.

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knacksolution · 2 years

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Hallmarking Machine: Everything You Need to Know

Many years ago, in old times, the jewelry was designed and made by the jeweler itself. The technology wasn’t advanced that’s why jewelers engrave all the jewelry their hand makes perfect. But now, the technology has developed a lot, and many types of hallmarking machines are available in the market to make the work easy for jewelers. If you want to know more about hallmarking machines then stay with us because today we are back with the interesting topic – Hallmarking Machine: Everything You Need to Know.

So let’s start with the definition and meaning of hallmarking.

What is Hallmarking?

We all have heard that hallmark is mandatory to check when you buy a piece of jewelry. Hallmark means simply a sign or mark or a label that defines certification of the jewelry that it has been made with precious metals like silver, gold, platinum, or palladium.

Sometimes you may have a question about whether the gold jewelry you are buying is made with real gold or not. So the hallmark is the proof that the jewelry is made with pure and real material. And the hallmark is a must for that.

Moreover, at the hallmarking testing center, the jewelry goes through a ton many cycles and tests. Eventually, the laser is hallmarked which confirms that the jewelry we are wearing is real. Metal like gold and silver were begun getting engraved and embellished with all advanced marking prospects: text, photographs, hand signature, finger impression, brand logo, designs, and numerous others.

Advantages of Laser Hallmarking Machine

Before purchasing any hallmarking machine you need to know the advantages and how it can help your business. So here are a few advantages of the laser hallmarking machine.

Strong Sharpness

We have extremely optimized and advanced our Laser gold hallmarking machine for checking on Gold and Silver. Laser marking on Platinum is exceptionally fresh and exact. A very clear and crisp thin line is the necessary part of a commendable laser hallmarking machine. Despite the fact that it is an unbending metal, testing to mark. So the strong sharpness is the main advantage of the laser hallmarking machine.

Better Focus Distance

This viewpoint is vital on bangles and rings, particularly when many rings are stamped together, and put on a solitary dance. The focus distance is essential for any type of gold markings on jewelry. Laser Hallmarking on bends is extremely precarious as a point of focal change can make the fine art smudgy on the edges.

Easy and Special Effects

Laser hallmarking marking of adornments where it is trying to make copy logos and sign and character is simple. Miniature surface laser marking on gold jewelry is not difficult to make. It should be the specialty of the hallmarking machine where Almost all Holographic impacts are not difficult to create.

Better Power

Typically, fiber laser machines need two passes to draw gold. The first to ice the gold and the second to etch. It makes the laser stamping less sharp. An extremely perfect and exact imprint is an unquestionable necessity. It is generally liked for hallmarking Gold and Silver Jewelry. Subsequently, we enhance our laser for checking in one pass as it were.

Hallmarking Price and Techniques

Choosing the right hallmarking machine is not easy. After so much testing, searching, and analyzing you can land the right and suitable hallmark machine as per your requirement. So let’s see what type of hallmark machines are available and their techniques.

Laser Hallmarking Machine

Many types of hallmarking machines are available. You can choose any of them based on your business requirement. You can look at the features, power supply, beam quality, and other things.

A laser hallmarking machine for gold Jewellery can provide the best marking effect among other laser hallmarking machines. We have integrated all-new laser technology. Taking the entirety of our ability, our demonstrated plan, and trustworthy parts we have made the pulsed Fiber laser, the Fiber Energy.

Moreover, the first and last pulse is similarly usable and marking is long-lasting with high scraped spot opposition. This gold hallmarking machine has high accuracy, secure speed, and reliable checking quality. Further, a laser marking machine for gold Jewellery comes up with uncommon bar quality outcomes into sharp and little checking.

Dot pin Hallmarking Marking Machine

Dot Pin Marking Machine is a generally involved technique in jewelry producers for recognizing a bar of gold as real or (hallmarking) by the valuable metal gold checking and etching. It is generally utilized for denoting, the spotted and the line marking types of stamping on the level surface region and on the gold and silver.

The gold biscuit(gold bullion) is recognizable by serialization. The serialization is completed with speck pin checking. A few models in the assembling business, for checking projecting or machining parts, denoting the casing of the vehicles, stamping VIN on machines, and for a scope of checking arrangements.

Some Recommendations of Hallmarking Machine for you

A laser hallmarking machine or gold hallmarking machine by Knack Solution can be the best choice. Knack Solution offers different types of jewelry machines such as Jewellery Laser Marking Machine, Jewellery Laser Soldering Machine, Jewellery Laser Cutting Machine, Jewellery Laser 3D Die Machine, and Diamond Cutting Laser Machine.

They also have a wide range of hallmarking machines to fulfill all your requirement. Customization is also available with any type of laser machine. If you still have doubts regarding this, contact us anytime.

Happy to Help

#hallmarkingmachine #lasermarkingmachine #jewellerylasermarking

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please-return-to-villanelle · 3 years

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If Scylla and Raelle part ways after tonight’s episode it would make sense.

Here me out.

I, like most of you, want nothing more than for them to be together. They are endgame. That’s a fact.

But at this point in time it would make sense for them to make peace with each other and go on their separate journeys for a little bit. There are a few reasons for that.

Number 1: Being physically together at this point in time is damn near impossible. They are trapped on opposite sides of this military induced slavery system. Raelle is Alder’s most prized possession, her Hail Mary to cling to power and keep the military industrial complex running as it is. She is not going to let Raelle out of her sight any time soon and therefore running away from the army is not an option right now. Plus Raelle wouldn’t abandon her unit like that unless they agree as a group to go AWOL (which is a possibility if we are indeed headed for a revolution). Scylla on the other hand in her current headspace would put aside her hatred of the army to be physically close to Raelle (she is literally doing that this episode). But, the bigger issue is Scylla is on Alder’s unforgivable list and I don’t see Alder caving when it comes to letting an ex-Spree agent back into Fort Salem in light of all the attacks on her own life and how hell bent she is on blaming the Spree for everything that goes wrong. So no matter what, right now they would realistically have to physically separate when this mission is over and figure out a way to see each other/ stay in touch.

Reason 2: They are young and on the paths of figuring out who they are. They both have not fully processed their past traumas and reconciled with their current situations. Raelle’s life imploded, her mother lied to her, and she has this new magic she didn’t ask for that makes her a target and almost killed her multiple times. All of that takes time to deal with and that’s not going to happen with one conversation with Scylla. Raelle needs time and space to actually process all of this before she is okay again. Scylla on the other hand is lost and alone. She’s clinging to Raelle right now for many reasons, but to have her abandon everything just to follow Raelle would ultimately stunt her character growth. She is in a position where she needs to choose who she wants to be. Does she stay with the Spree? Does she try to join the army? Does she stick true to her mission to protect all witches? This is a big cross road for her and could shape her future in a major way (redemption arc maybe?).

Yes, parting ways means less screen time together and I know that sucks, but honestly they’d be better off reuniting again when they are more stable as individuals and in a place where physically being together is feasible. Their relationship initially began due to deception and they both deserve to choose to be together because they want to, because they are in the right emotional space for it. Not out of necessity or because they were forced together by external forces. But because they want to and I think they both need a little bit of individual growth before they are truly at that place.

#I know you want to yell at me #bring it on #motherland fort salem #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #raelle x scylla #raylla #mfs analysis

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elliesguitarstrings · 3 years

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Please do a Peter or Tom (you choose which guy) imagine where the reader always feels left out by the gang and the loneliness grows until one day she can’t take it anymore and tries to leave/move out. Peter/Tom find her and when both are confronted, it’s revealed that he and the rest only ignored her because of a rumor that she was just using them and it ends with feelings being confessed and a kiss please

i chose tom for this one bc i don’t get many requests for him!! sorry this is kinda shit because i’m feeling super under the weather from the covid vaccine but i tried my best 😖

~~~~~~~~

Living with Tom and his friends is a struggle. Not only are you the only girl in the household, but lately they’ve been leaving you out, and it seems like they don’t even want you in the house anymore.

When you first moved in, the boys would include you in their social media, Brother’s Trust events, and group outings. But now, they leave you out of their instagram lives and often go out without you.

This definitely does not go unnoticed by the fans. Over the past few months, you’ve seen rumors speculating that you’ve moved out all over social media. Normally, stupid stuff like this wouldn’t bother you, but the boys have done absolutely nothing to shut them down. In fact, none of them have even addressed it.

You’re eating alone tonight, the third time this week. Ever since covid restrictions were slightly lifted, the boys have been going to the pub almost every night. When you expressed that you still weren’t comfortable with going out, they just went without you, leaving you to spend many nights in the house by yourself.

After three glasses of wine, you’re starting to wonder, maybe you should just move out. The boys obviously don’t want you there and the fans already think you’ve left, so what would the difference really be? You’d miss them, sure, especially Tom, but you’d get over it. You check your phone, seeing that it’s only 10:30 pm. The boys won’t be back for at least another three hours, giving you plenty of time to pack the necessities and leave. You can pick up the rest of your stuff tomorrow night - they’ll most likely be out clubbing again anyways.

You stumble upstairs to your bedroom, grabbing a suitcase and opening it on your bed. You grab enough clothes and toiletries for a few days and quickly stuff them inside along with a few of your valuable items. In your drunken and flustered state, you don’t hear the front door open or Tom walking upstairs.

“Hey I heard you crying, is everything okay up here... what the fuck?” You spin around to see Tom at your door.

“Tom? What are you doing back so early? Where’s everyone else?”

“Harry, Harrison, and Tuwaine are still at the pub, I forgot my wallet and I promised to pay tonight, so I came back here to pick it up.”

Before he can ask any questions about you, you slur, “You’re drunk, you shouldn’t be driving.”

“Designated driver, I haven’t had anything to drink.” Tom comments, “Can’t say the same for you though huh?” he looks worried.

You sigh, “Whatever. Can you just get your wallet and leave so I can get back to packing?” Shit. Why did you just say that?

“Packing? Why are you packing?”

Fuck it. You were planning on having a civil conversation about this when you were sober, but Tom’s here now, so why not? “I’m packing because I’m moving out. None of you guys want me here, and you always leave me out, so I’m leaving.”

Tom, being the sober one, tries to reason with you. “Y/N, of course we want you here! Why in the world would you think we wouldn’t?”

You start to raise your voice, “Because Tom, none of you ever invite me to shit, you always leave me out of your instagram posts and stories, and half the time you act like I don’t even live here! Plus, the fans think I’ve already moved out, so I’m just fulfilling their wishes!”

Tom sighs, obviously distressed, “Y/N, you can’t leave, you’ve gotta stay here. Please?”

“Why? Why should I Tom? Why shouldn’t I just pack up my stuff right now and leave?”

“Because I fucking love you!” Tom screams.

Your tone lowers to almost a whisper, his confession practically sobering you up, “You what?”

You and Tom have been close ever since his old makeup artist went on maternity leave, you replacing her. There’s always been something between you two, like subtle touches and playful flirting, but you never thought that your feelings would be reciprocated.

Tom buries his face in his face in his hands, “Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just really need you to stay here, but now I’ve ruined everything and you’re definitely going to leave-”

You step closer and take his hands in yours, shutting him up by pressing your lips onto his soft ones. “I love you too.” you say quietly.

“I’m sorry for leaving you out,” he starts, his hands still intertwined with yours, “It really wasn’t our intention. We just saw a bunch of rumors saying that you were using us for money and shit, and obviously we know that’s not true. But we thought it would be better to get you out of the spotlight so the rumors would go away, or at least some of them would.”

“Tom, why didn’t you tell me? We could have all sorted it out together and we could have avoided this mess.”

He looks down, “I know, I’m sorry, we just didn’t want to worry you or anything. It was stupid.”

“It’s okay Tom. I know now, and it was a good effort. It’s actually really sweet that you thought to protect me like that.” you smile.

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” he grins cheekily.

You grin, “Depends, did you only say you love me just so I wouldn’t leave?”

Tom’s eyes immediately widen, “No, no, oh my god no! I’ve loved you for like, three years now, I-”

You shut him up with another kiss, this one longer. “Calm down, it was a joke. I know you love me, and I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

#ask #request #anon #soph writes #soph's blurbs #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland fic #tom holland blurb

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kaekiro · 3 years

Text

The Two of Us

Pairing: Eren/Mikasa II Rating: T II Words: 2334 II [AO3] Warnings: Manga Spoilers for ch138 and mentions of sex A/N: Snippets of the life Eren and Mikasa could've had. Eren's POV.

He had long forgotten what peace was, what it felt like to be free of burden, and what it meant to be normal. But he rediscovers it in the songs birds sing early in the morning, the scent of pines just east of their home, and in her quiet but discernible breaths when she falls asleep at his side. He’s never seen her rest so much or known her to be the sleepy kind, but having led the life they did before finding this place, he thinks that she deserves the sleep more than anyone. The warmth of her body at his side is reassuring in its own way, and for once he doesn’t feel guilty for deciding to spend the day resting alongside her, because now they simply could.

They quickly established a routine once they had settled, taking turns with chores and cooking and small tasks in between. Bit by bit and day by day, the familiarity of it all puts him at ease, but it’s the changes between them that truly give him a sense of peace. It’s the softness of her hands and voice that makes him feel incredibly safe, and he relishes in how she relaxes when he reaches for and draws her near.

He learns and memorizes little things about Mikasa, her small habits and talents in sewing and embroidery, and how well she could carry a tune. She had been slightly embarrassed and shy the first time he had asked if she could sing for him, and he wondered if she was even aware of her own talent. During that time, they had decided to have lunch in a clearing she had found some time ago while hunting, one that was decorated with foliage and the greenest grass he had ever seen. Rays of sunlight seeped through and between the leaves of the tree they sat beneath, and he had reached a hand up to study how the light spotted his skin in an array of shapes. She took that hand in hers, and he looked up at her from where he lay against the trunk. Wordlessly, she coaxed him to rest his head upon her lap, closing his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair. He could have never imagined being like this, unable to believe how different his life is compared to mere months ago. But he starts to become restless when the thought reminds him of everything they left behind, the pending consequences behind it.

“Sing for me,” he heard himself ask quickly, focusing all his attention on the light blush that colored her face. “Please.”

“You… you want me to sing? But… why?”

“I…” he began, tightening his grip on her hand when he failed to explain without going back on their promise to not bring up such things. But maybe it showed on his face because her expression shifted into a soft one, and she thumbed a short lock of hair away from his forehead in understanding.

“What would you like me to sing?”

“Anything,” he murmured, resting their joined hands on his chest, “anything you want.”

She nods, and he closes his eyes again, the beautiful melody of her voice lulling him to sleep.

----

They both wonder if they’ll ever be able to fully remedy the nightmares that plague them. He feels awful every time his yells or sudden movements scare her awake, and she apologizes when he wakes to find her crying. Perhaps there is nothing that will fully prevent such things from happening, but it brings them closer together anyway. The cabin had two rooms across from one another and, afraid to cross some unknown boundary, he originally slept separately from her. But soon enough, they found themselves walking across the hall in the middle of every other night when one of them had a nightmare. Sleeping next to one another from then on became normal, almost a necessity, and she didn’t question him the first night he went into her room unprompted just to lay beside her. Instead, she turned to wrap her arms around him and he fixed himself so that her head was tucked beneath his chin. His heart beats a fast but content rhythm at how natural it was to be like this, and though it scared him a bit, he sensed deep down that it was because he was somehow falling even more in love with Mikasa.

Over time, the furniture in his room collects dust.

----

Sometimes, they argue. The reasons range from small mistakes that come off as careless to things that have either of them venomously questioning whether they made the right decision in running away together. Though it very rarely happens, the latter argument cuts so far deep, effectively silencing and reducing them to stare at each other in a mix of hurt and anger. The argument never progresses farther than that though, and instead ends with her closing their bedroom door behind her and him engaging in work to distract himself. But when their emotions wind down, they seek one another out, and they work to resolve the issue no matter how long it takes. He knows that the hurtful things said were out of anger, but it does little to assuage that constant fear that deep down, a part of her regrets their decision.

“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if we stayed back there?” he asks her one night as he lays next to her, looking at the book at her lap and then up at her.

The question visibly startles her, and she stares at him with more concern than he expects. She promptly closes the book. “What?”

“It’s just that… sometimes I worry if…”

“If what, Eren?”

“If you are really okay. Being here with me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes… and I still don’t fully understand why you choose me.”

It’s silent for a moment as his words hang in the air, but then she twists her body towards him, taking his face in her hands. “Eren, listen to me. I choose you… because you’re you. I meant what I said that day, that hasn’t and won’t change.”

His eyes begin to sting as they look over her thoughtfully, and she implores him to believe her by kissing his forehead and lips and encasing his body with hers, whispering the only three words that could put his fears to rest.

----

He accidentally stumbles upon her as she dresses for the day, his eyes widening at the unexpected sight of her clad only in a skirt and bra, her blouse in one of her hands. He quickly turns away while apologizing profusely, feeling his face burn hotly as he drags a hand down the length of it in shame. There are sounds of clothes rustling, and then her footsteps as she crosses the room to stand in front of him. Her own face is tinged, but she offers a sweet smile when he finally manages to look at her.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

She walks out of the room then, leaving him to stand there, confused and unsure of what to make of her words. He swallows around the dryness in his throat, forcibly distracting himself with thoughts of other matters.

Though after the incident, he senses another change between them. Without realizing it, the few reservations they still had despite being together had disappeared, and they became comfortable with one another in ways they hadn’t before. More often than not, they get ready for the day and for sleep alongside each other instead of separately, and their affections are no longer prompted solely for consolation but within the little moments of their life. Sometimes she kisses him upon thanking him, and he takes her hand in his when they travel somewhere together. And sometimes, they crave more than chaste kisses and innocent touches.

The night had been like any other. She had just finished changing into her nightgown as he entered the room, feeling too lazy to get ready for bed just yet. He sat at the edge of the bed and fell back, unsure why he was more tired than usual. She moved to sit and plop right beside him, voicing the bit of concern she had. In turn, he insisted that it was nothing, but as he spoke, something caught in his throat that sent him into a coughing fit. He had to put his hand up and wave her off so that she’d know it was nothing serious, but she gets up and returns with a glass of water to help him anyway. He sits up and downs the entire thing in a few gulps, feeling instant relief.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, tugging on her hand and looking pointedly at her mouth. She leans over and kisses him, humming against his lips. She pulls back slightly, and they gaze at one another until she kisses him again, again, and again.

Mikasa uses his shoulders to balance herself, and he lightly runs his palms over her forearms. His eyes open in somewhat of a daze when she suddenly stops, and he gives her a questioning expression when she suddenly looks somewhat nervous and contemplative. Before he can ask if she’s okay, she kisses him fiercely and slips her fingers beneath the collar of his shirt. It takes him by surprise but he hardly thinks much of it as he returns her kisses with equal fervor, his hands moving from her forearms to the small of her back. It when she pulls back and she shifts to straddle his lap and press her body completely against his that he begins to pick up on what’s happening, and the room starts getting too warm because he is acutely aware of how her nightgown has ridden up on her thighs, how the heat of the newly exposed skin is easily felt through his own clothing. His wide eyes convey questions and concerns, and she answers by taking his hands and kissing his knuckles, guiding his fingers to the edge of her gown.

“Mikasa—” he whispers somewhat urgently, stilling their movements and she pauses, averting her eyes as she leans back.

“Sorry. I… didn't ask if this was okay.” He shakes his head immediately, keeping her from moving away.

“That’s not what I meant,” he says more firmly, curling his fingers around her wrists.

“It’s…” a sigh escapes him in a heavy, nervous breath. “What if I hurt you?”

Her mouth hangs open a bit, but then closes with a small but reassuring smile.

“I trust you, Eren,” she answers before kissing his cheekbone, her lips very close to his ear when she adds “only you.”

Her words and silent affirmations send a jolt through his heart and bones, and within moments they are nothing but a tangle of limbs as their mouths mesh and gasp for air between kisses. She helps him remove the thin cotton of her gown and undo the buttons of his shirt, and he leans back against the bed to feel the pleasant weight of her above him. They take their time in mapping out the expanse of bare skin, kissing nearly every scar and birthmark, and though their touches and movements are clumsy, it is nothing less than perfect because it’s with her.

In the morning, he finds her neck and chest dotted with light purple marks. It’s the ticklish sensation of his fingers smoothing over the marks that wake her up, and he feels relief when she says that they don’t hurt. He apologizes anyway and she shakes her head, moving her body to fill the space between them before falling back asleep. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more content.

----

He tries so very hard to mask the effects this curse has on him, carrying an extra handkerchief in his pocket to quickly wipe away his nosebleeds, or alter his breathing to stifle his harsh breath after carrying something. But he should’ve known that not even this could slip past her. His days are dwindling, and she watches over him intently and holds him even tighter. If they had been younger, he probably would’ve snapped at her for it, assuming she thought him to be weak. But that was never the case. He knows she’s scared of what’s coming, and it devastates him. The last thing he wants is for this, for them to come to an end. He became so angry and frustrated because the closer he was to dying, the more he wanted to live. He carried guilt for having ended up this way, but it was her who told him that none of it was his fault, that life had dealt them a tragic and unfair hand.

“Hey…” she murmurs one night as they sit in front of a fire, looking up at the glittered expanse of sky. He moves a bit in her arms, letting her know that he was listening.

“Do you think we’ll get to meet again? In heaven? Or maybe in another life?”

The question stings. She sounds so tired but hopeful, and he does not want to lie and say yes when in reality, he had no clue. He tells her exactly that, and she only hums in response.

“Well… if there is… I’ll find you. And maybe we’ll have better luck then.”

The fire crackles, sending a cloud of embers into the sky.

“Not if I don’t find you first,” he answers after a few moments, his attempt at lightening the mood successful when she huffs in amusement. He pulls away from her, prompting her to meet his eyes.

“Mikasa… no matter what happens, we will always be together. Afterlife or not, I’ll be with you, and you’ll be with me.”

Tears pool in her eyes and cascade down her face, her voice choked as she says, “promise?”

He wipes away her tears, and though his own throat tightens, he smiles.

“Promise.”

#eremika #snk #writing #snk spoilers #WE WON BITCHEEEESSSSSS #I spent almost the entire night and morning writing this ashfsh #so sorry if it's a bit shitty lol #it was the first things i daydreamed about when thinking about their cottage core AU #kaleidoscopes #cottagecore au

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warrioreowynofrohan · 3 years

Text

Aredhel, Reborn

This is a fragment that I started putting together a long time ago, and it stops in the middle, but my writing isn’t cooperating right now so I’m posting it as-is for @tolkiengenweek . It’s a sequel to my two previous Aredhel pieces (but not my Aredhel and Eöl one, which isn’t in continuity with it). Hopefully I’ll manage to follow up on it.

********************

Aredhel leaves the Halls, permitted to return to life for no reason that she can comprehend. She has not sought mercy for herself, though she has asked it a thousand times for her son and been met with a deafening silence. She chooses to return because Fingon is doing so, and he might not be able to bring himself to go if he left behind both of his siblings as well as his dearest friend. Turgon should have returned - would have been permitted to return, yeni ago, not tainted by kinslaying as his siblings are - but he is being stubborn, out of some mix of reluctance to face the survivors of Gondolin and reluctance to face the Lord of the Waters.

They reenter life to be almost immediately caught in their father’s embrace. Through all that follows - returning to Tirion, reunion with their mother and cousins, an apology to the Lady Eärwen that clearly terrifies Fingon more than any battle he’s ever fought in - the world seems faded and distant to Aredhel, as though some part of her fëa had never left the Halls. She cannot stay in Tirion, she cannot seem to hold the thread of a conversation with anyone, even her parents and brother. She knows, distantly, that she loves them, but it all seems so far away.

Her aimless feet take her to Valmar, and she find herself at the one place in the Blessed Realm that is shunned by Eldar and Ainur alike, climbing from the foot of Ezellohar to the two broken skeletons that were once the purest light in the universe, and as she collapses to the grass she feels, for the first time, a connection with the world. How did you do it? she whispers. How do you continue when what you hold dearest has been turned to darkness and ruin and ash? And something connects within her mind, something that never did through all the years in the Halls, never did during her return to Tirion, though all the reunions and necessary, distant apologies. Her feet carry her south and east, to the seashore and the white city, the city of pearls.

She does not go to the throne room of the king and queen, but to the docks, cloaked and hooded and unnoticed, seeking for faces she remembers. She finds one, working, holding a small curved knife in her hand that she uses to shell oysters.

Aredhel raises her hood, sees the Telerin woman start at the sight of her, and falls to her knees. The knife stops its work, poised in midair.

“What are you doing here?”

“I…I wished to apologize. To say that I was wrong.”

“So? What does that mean? What will that mend?” The woman lays down the shelling-knife, goes to a ship, and picks up another meant for carving wood. She lays the blade to a piece of wood lying nearby and the hands, their movements so smooth and deft when shelling oysters, begin to shake, leaving jagged, uneven cuts, leaving it useless. “I built the ships your people so wantonly destroyed, shaped them as you Noldor shape steel, and now I live again, but that which gave me life has left me. We did not hoard them and hide them in vaults, we sailed them and lived aboard them until they were more our home than the shore, and all you left to us were blood and ash and tainted memories.” The tremors through her body come in waves now, and her voice is choked. “My life was the least of what you stole from me. And now you seek what? Absolution? Resolution? This does not end for me. Why should it end for you?”

Aredhel hunches in on herself. “I surrender. What would you have of me?”

“Why come here, and not to the king?”

Olwë wouldn’t do anything to me - for Uncle Finarfin’s sake, if not for my own. He wasn’t who I attacked. He wasn’t who I killed.

“I thought you had more right. I…I know what it is to be betrayed by one whom you trusted. I know what it it is to see what you love dearest cast into ruin. And if I had - him - apologizing to me, truly and sincerely, as I am to you” - her voice breaks - “I would bury a knife in his guts.” She is shaking. “I came here because I didn’t know what else to do. Only that I needed to do something. I surrender. Say what you want from me, and you will have it.”

The Telerin woman just looks tired. “I don’t want your blood. What use would that be? I don’t want you locked up. What good would that do anyone? You cannot give back what you have taken. You cannot restore what is destroyed.

“Leave us in peace. Go.”

Aredhel goes.

....

She flees to the wild lands she once loved, which no longer feel so narrow as they did in the years of her youth, before Gondolin and Nan Elmoth and the Halls, before she knew that duty was a chain and love was a chain. Fear, too, is a chain, as she find when she wanders into the woods of Oromë where she once hunted with her cousins and stops, trembling, as the treetops cut off the sky, frozen, her thought a thousand miles away in drowned lands where the forest went from wonder to horror to prison. She works her way stumbling back to the light, her arms clutching at branches and tree-trunks to pull her onwards, until she emerges again into the free air.

She goes, instead, to the open plains, where she can run and ride and hunt, and take joy in feeling alive again, with a heart that beats and mouth that tastes and limbs that ache. In time she returns to the forest, first to edges and sun-dappled clearings, later to the denser woods in autumn when the leaves turn yellow and brown and fall to create openings where light and warmth enters, and nuts and fruits and berries surround her at every turn. Regaining the woods in summertime takes longer, where leaves create deep pools of shadow, and it is longer still before she wishes to be in the woods after nightfall, looking up at the stars.

(She no longer wears white. She dresses in greys and browns and tans, and in plain or woodland she might be mistaken for part of the landscape.)

She cannot say, for certain, how much of her escape is driven by avoiding walls, and how much by avoiding people, avoiding the need to hear or speak of (or hear people deliberately and delicately not speak of) a son she cannot defend and will not condemn. Did she shun the woods because they felt a cage, or because it felt that at any moment a pale-skinned, black-haired boy might step out of them with a present for his mother of hazlenuts or newly-caught game or skillfully-carved wood? A boy who is gone, who is become something she cannot and will not name.

Fingon finds her, from time to time, with uncanny ability, though he was never her equal as a woodsman. They share meals, wanderings, conversations light or serious. He does not tell her to return, though he speaks often of their parents and at times ventures to say how much they miss her. She does not know how to explain. Fingon can feel that their positions, failing and pardoned and returned and grieving for the lost, are the same, but it does not feel so to her. He fell in battle, and with a host of heroic deeds to his name. Her father fell in combat, the greatest one in the history of Arda. She died because she trusted the wrong person, loved the wrong person, ran off, was irresponsible and impetuous as always, led an enemy back to the one safe home she still had; her place in the First Age’s history is the dislodged rock or careless shout that starts an avalanche. Turgon has never blamed her for Gondolin’s fall, but that is because she never spoke to him while they were in the Halls, never knowing what to say. I am sorry that my son existed? She isn’t. She isn’t. She isn’t. She is only sorry that his father orphaned him, left him alone among strangers in a strange city with no parent to guide him.

One morning she awakes at her campsite to find her father there, tending the embers of her fire. She does not know how he has found her; he is gifted in scholarship, in diplomacy, in governance, in craftwork, in all the arts of war, but not in woodcraft or tracking or the arts of the wildnerness (save, by necessity, of keeping thousands of people alive in bone-chilling, soul-numbing temperatures).

They speak a little of other things, of her life in the woods and his in Tirion, but he cannot long restrain the question he has come to ask. “Aredhel, can you not come home?”

She offers the easier explanation first, the other being too painful to place in words. “I don’t want to go back to be pitied as a failure.”

“We all failed, dearest. Every one of us.”

“You did not. Not like me. You died fighting Morgoth and every Elda and I expect every Vala respects you for that. Fingon died fighting a balrog. My younger cousins died in battle. Even the philosopher did better than me! I was one of the most eager to go, I killed people in order to go, atta, and I have nothing to show for it, no achievements, nothing to boast of, and I will not go back to be petted and pitied and patronized, I won’t -” and she knows she still sounds like a spoiled child even now, when the others have grown wise and thoughtful and penitent.

Her father simply looks at her, long and quiet, as if trying to perceive all the words she has left unspoken, and they finally struggle to her lips.

“I don’t want to know what they all think of him. I do know what they think of him. I don’t want to be consoled for what my son did or became by people who didn’t know him and can’t understand him, and to know they are thinking of it every time they look at me, I’ll hate them for it and it will break out and I’ll cause trouble for everyone again - ” she’s stopped looking at her father, not wanting to see in his eyes his opinion of such a grandson, not wanting to feel the wrath against him that would come from it. “Why does everything I love fall to evil? My son, Tyelko, Curvo, my - ” she cannot bring herself to say husband, “- him? Do I have no judgement, no discernment? Am I being punished? I loved him when he killed me, I love my son and my cousins yet, and I don’t want to explain or to justify or to live among people that hate them -”

She is weeping now, and her father pulls her into an embrace. “You did not deserve this, Aredhel. Not what happened to you, or what happened to your son.”

“I don’t know.” Her voice is quiet now. “I think, sometimes, it is all of a piece. If you do evil to gain something, whether it be ill in itself or not, it will burn you when you find it. As with my cousins and the gemstones. I killed to gain freedom from limitations or constraint, and when I took it it burned me.”

#tolkien #the silmarillion #aredhel #fingolfin #fanfic #tolkiengenweek #cw trauma

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youareunbearable · 2 years

Text

Because the Feanorians are now Maiar, they aren't technically born, meaning they aren't really siblings and part of the same family so there is no real issue in separating them now is there?

Orome is almost never seen without his most prized hunter, Celegorm, who prefers a form that looks more wolf than Elf.

Fingon’s knees felt weak, he found himself sinking to the forest floor. This world may be Arda Remade, but he still felt Marred.

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valkyriegoddesses · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on ACOSF

⚠️ SPOILERY, SO DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOK ⚠️

⚔️ the good and the bad, I’ll try to get rid of the bad thoughts first and keep the positive ones for the end but idk where my line of thought would go as I recall and type so here we go

• Nesta’s journey of healing is hers and hers alone. She owes no one in the inner circle anything, they didn’t do her any favors. (Now before I delve into this, I just want to say that I see they (Feyre and Elain only) had good intentions, but I’m going to point out everywhere it went wrong, probably against what they planned, but still it went horribly wrong) She was still suffering all the same after she got her free will stripped from her, the decision made for her by packing her things without informing her or listening to her opinion or trying to have a more lenient approach to the matter, being threatened that her second option is being thrown to the human lands where she could die, being lied to about the consequences of her actions in law, being told she “belongs in the Hewn City”, being told she’s “a pathetic waste of life”, and choosing the place everyone admits they hate going to aka the House of Wind, as her destination to heal. Knowing full well she can’t make the descent down these stairs and would be imprisoned without the power to winnow. And instead of being given her space and time, they push her to talk and interact when all she’s trying to do is have some distance from everyone. Some time to herself, to not feel anything, to control the storm of thoughts raging on the inside. And she’s pushed time and time again to face her trauma and heal RIGHT NOW because apparently, they’re timing her. And she shouldn’t have her emotions on display, when she tells them she doesn’t feel like talking yet she’s forced to interact and socialize. Anyone who’s been forced to interact against their will knows how draining it is. Now imagine this coupled with being triggered by water, and being triggered by fire, which are a daily necessity. And imagine everyone got a decade or more to deal with their trauma and are still not entirely healed, yet your time is up after little over a year. It sucks. And I hate how what triggered them to action wasn’t that she was wasting away to nothing, but the bill. When the bill was high, they drew the line. And I hate how in the narrative, the “conversation” -even though I wouldn’t call it that because only one side was allowed to talk and the other side wasn’t allowed to object- was written in a way that made it about THEIR image, when she’s frequenting taverns. THEIR image, when she doesn’t show up to their parties. THEIR image when the bill for her drinking is high. (They say it’s too much money, as if they don’t have all the riches and they all spend money on things that are absolutely not necessary, and THEY drowned her with gifts, LOADS of gifts, after she sacrificed her power to save her sister, which she didn’t do for payment, but anyway the thought is, they had the money and just like they thought Amren deserves payment for what she did in the war, they should’ve kept the same energy for Nesta because she had no small role in that either). I just think they handled it badly. Not exactly how you’d talk to someone suffering from PTSD, depression and survivor’s guilt. For one, threatening a worse alternative isn’t helpful. Secondly, There were way too many people in that room. More than necessary. Feyre and Elain would’ve been enough AS HER FAMILY (and I’ll get to details on this in a moment). And Feyre was the only decent one handling it as someone who actually was looking for a better outcome and really had the intention to help, someone who wasn’t there just to humiliate. Amren and Rhys were only there to land jabs and poke at her insecurities and bad coping mechanisms. Rhys used his power on her to force her to obey him and we all know how it’s a big NO among them. Many of those in the IC had worse coping mechanisms. But what she was doing was too much for them to handle? She was self-destructing. And she kept her distance. If I told someone I needed my space and they kept poking their head in my business, I sure as hell would lash out. When someone needs space, their privacy should be respected. No matter how long it takes them.

And I don’t see where the problem with her drinking was. She never showed up to events drunk. We never saw her hungover the day after. She was spending some money on drinking yes, but it did not get out of hand. She was also spending money on food and gambling. All in all, not the worst coping mechanism among those who were criticizing her. Not to mention that everyone who criticized her were drinkers as well, and they all slept around during some part of their lives.

Now the problem with the presence of other people in that room, other than Feyre (if Elain didn’t wish to attend and preferred to have some space between her and and Nesta, it’s her choice) anyway, only Feyre’s presence was required. Everyone else there was just an accessory, only adding stress to the atmosphere, forcing Nesta to get on the defensive with the way they slut shamed her, shamed her for drinking, shamed her for not being able to take a bath even though she told Feyre how the water still scares her, etc. I can see Sarah wanted it to look like a “family” intervening. Like some tough love sort of thing. But she failed. Simply because, the IC might be Feyre’s found family and she might take such a talk from them because it would really be tough love. As for Nesta, she doesn’t view them as family. She barely knows them. So for a group of strangers, or let’s say newly acquainted people, to sit around her and point out her every flaw and shame her for every misstep, who wouldn’t lash out at that? It’s enough she’s forced to spend time among them, on holidays she doesn’t really believe in, where they force her to attend but actively ignore her presence and treat her like a ghost. Why make her come if they don’t enjoy her company? It’s just ridiculous. Then when she gets angry from all the pushing and lashes out and it’s entirely her fault. they’re all like “come to our gatherings where we will insult you, nitpick all your unhealthy coping mechanisms, but don’t be offended and seclude yourself, we all took decades to deal with our trauma and killed people while doing it but your coping mechanisms are unhealthy. And your actions are unforgivable because you lash out at us when we shove ourselves down your throat. How can you not like us? Everyone has to like us.” Then she gets thrown away to a war camp, a FUCKING WAR CAMP, while a big part of her trauma is because of war. And instead of dealing with her face-to-face, while being gentle and showing her they’re on her side WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, WITHOUT WINCING AND GLANCES AT EACH OTHER AND INNER CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HER WHERE SHE’S EXCLUDED, they’re like “we’re tired of your shit so here’s a house you can stay in while you sort this out away from our merry little circle, which has its nose up your business anyway. But still, sort it out away from us.” And in that house she became more and more closed off and her healing - and I will die on this hill - her healing DID NOT start until the house came into play which was her own doing. And it kicked off because of Emerie and Gwyn, who both didn’t judge her, didn’t demonize her, didn’t only see the bad in her, but accepted her as she was and loved every part of her. Showed her that she was not a waste of life and there are things to live for. As for the beloved inner circle? Beyond insulting her and her coping mechanisms, They don’t tell her about the weapons SHE made, because pro-colonization Amren doesn’t think it’s wise, that Nesta would use it against the world. (Amren do you hear how stupid you sound?) they always villianize her, assuming she’d be out to take the world and take revenge on everyone who ever glanced her way. They assumed she was bad, they assumed because she was angry, that she would use her power for killing and terrorizing and building an Empire like they all do. When all she wanted to do was listen to music and be around good company who passed her no judgement.

Anyway, getting into some details with each character:

Feyre: I hated Feyre’s “crying over scrambled eggs because my image is destroyed my sister spent so much money on drinking”. And the fact that when telling Nesta she was doing this for her own good, she told her she was embarrassed for her own image in the same breath. But beyond that I was fine with her. I loved her reconcilation with Nesta. I loved that she was one who wanted to give Nesta more time, recognized that she needed her own time. I love them together. I think without everyone’s interference, their reconcilation would’ve happened much faster. They were already making progress before ~some people~ ruined everything and caused Nesta to be closed off again. I don’t hate that Nesta sacrificed her power to save Feyre in the end. She’s her sister and she loves her and this is not the first time she proved this. She would do anything to protect her sisters and she hates herself for the times she misstepped. Even though it wasn’t her fault and there was a full grown man sitting there who conveniently got a redemption arc. What angers me though, is that it was only after this, that the inner circle viewed her as someone who is worth their respect. And made the sacrifice materialistic by drowning Nesta with gifts. She didn’t do it for their acceptance or for their love, or for payment. She did it because her sister needed help. Period. (Sidenote: I’m writing a post where I delve deep into their relationship, which I will eventually post, because I think I reached an understanding about their relationship)

Elain: let me get something out of the way, she has power. She has free will, she’s not a baby. She’s a grown woman who doesn’t need coddling. I hate how the fandom views her as a baby. And she’s constantly infantilized, preventing her from reaching her full potential. Now that that’s out of the way, here are my 2 cents on her, since she wasn’t in this book much: Nesta’s wording was very clear, yet I’ve seen this scene misread all over the timeline. Nesta said “I sat by your side for weeks. Weeks, while you wasted away, refusing food and drink. While you appeared to hope you’d just wither and die. No one suggested you either shape up or be shipped back to the human lands.” Nesta’s problem is NOT that Elain wasn’t “there” as in “by her side”. She explicitly stated she needed space. Nesta’s problem was that she stood between Elain and anyone who might tell her to snap out of it and lock her trauma in some dark room in the back of her head. She made sure Elain had her time. While Elain agreed to pack her bags and didn’t prevent them from shipping her away, deciding her time was up. All she wants is time, and Elain didn’t have her back on this. Then we have the fact that Elain slut-shamed Nesta. And then when Nesta comes to the party this time, Elain meets her at the door and her reaction instead of saying hi and leaving it at that or simply ignoring her, is “did Feyre pay you this time?” I’m torn on where to stand on the Elain-Nesta situation, a part of me is disappointed in Elain. I think she should’ve handled this better than anyone else because she was there, she witnessed the trauma happen, Nesta was there for her, they grew up being inseparable the entire time. If anyone should understand her better than anyone else, it’s Elain. So why did she abandon her to everyone’s judgement? And a part of me is like maybe she knew whatever she voted wouldn’t matter because the IC were taking the step anyway, and didn’t want to be there when it happened. Or maybe she’s still dealing with her own trauma in her own way and doesn’t want a confrontation. But I always circle back to the sl*t-shaming and the shaming about the drinking, and then I think about the Solstice scene where as soon as she saw her she was like “did Feyre pay you this time?” And a part of me is angry about the shaming undertone of that too, while some part of me thinks that maybe Elain felt unwanted along with everyone else and that in order for Nesta to meet them, she has to be paid, but we will never know unless we hear it from her.

Rhysand: that piece of shit, misogynist, who used his powers to compel Nesta to obey his orders, pulled rank on her, taunted and threatened her every step of the way and utilized her for his own agenda, and was *surprised* to learn the woman has trauma. Took him being inside her head and unable to wake her up from the nightmare, because the behavior she was exhibiting wasn’t enough. [insert shocked pickatchu meme]. I also would like to add that him playing the protective love interest from his mate’s own sister, WHO COULD’VE HARMED HER IF SHE WANTED TO, but never wanted to because she’s not a bad person, is so cheap. Like- you, the guy who drugged her and made her give you lap dances, are afraid for her sake… from her sister? Who only ever used words as jabs and is generally rude? Or do you feel like you’re overpowered and are trying to fill the void in your toxic masculinity and reassert dominance ?

Cassian: He was patient with her, and probably the healthiest person in the inner circle who dealt with her until she was okay, but he still silently agreed with all the shit that was said about her. Shit she didn’t deserve to be said about her as someone going through trauma. He mocked whatever progress she made on the stairs calling it pathetic in the beginning. He stayed silent when Nesta was stripped of her will, when she was told she belongs in the Court of Nightmares, when her fate was decided for her, when she was being lied to, when she was threatened to be thrown to the humans who would kill her. He made some progress and understood her better with time, but it doesn’t excuse how he stayed silent when she was being mistreated. Specially since he claims her loves her. He also stayed silent as the Inner Circle despised her presence but still used her to reach what they’re plotting for. He progressed, and he got better, I’ll give him that. But still, as someone who claims he loves her the way he does, he shouldn’t have allowed his friends to manipulate and use her in their schemes but then exclude her from everything else, even knowledge about her own power. But I love that he was patient, that he worked to understand her, that he grew to stand up for her. I would argue that they are the healthiest ship written by SJM this far.

Mor: fucking Mor, who experienced trauma, told Nesta she belongs in the court of Nightmares. Where she was abused herself. Knowing women are viewed as objects there, knowing Nesta would recieve abuse there. She said that, wishing abuse on someone who she simply didn’t like and had some quarrels with. They never saw eye to eye and that’s fine. They always had sharp tongues when talking to each other and that’s fine. What’s not fine though, is that THIS of all things, seemed so out of character for Mor. Now, she never knew Nesta was a survivor of SA. But as someone who helps SA victims, she’s the last person I expected such a comment from. It felt very out of character. I hate that this is the Bi character in all of this mess. Of all people, a hypocrite is the Bi person. The LGBTQ community deserves better. I thought about it, and maybe Mor, being like a stranger to Nesta, and seeing her ignore Cassian in front of the Illyrians who already look down on him, made her angry to the point where she just wanted to land a jab and didn’t think her words would mean anything. Maybe all she wanted to do was stand up for Cassian, but what she said was definitely not true and not okay. I wanted her and Nesta to have a talk about it, but also she grew to have decent conversations with her and she helped her when she and Cassian had that fight. So I don’t know, maybe it’s a silent progress between them.

Amren: this one told her she was a waste of life. What a great way to deal with someone who’s suffering from PTSD and depression and having suicidal thoughts, Amren. Tell them they’re a waste of life, enforce every thought they are having as fact, push them to the point where they doubt they should be breathing, and when they’re told they could tumble down a mountain and break their bones while hiking, their first thought would be “good”. Amren deserves a medal, a badge of honor for being the 500+ old woman who has healthy ways of dealing with traumatized people telling them they don’t deserve to live because the thoughts of their power and dealing with controlling that power right now is so overwhelming. Amren, who decided that because Nesta was always angry, she had no right to know that she used her power unknowingly and forged powerful weapons. Amren, who was pushing for colonization throughout this book, was afraid of Nesta misusing her power. Villainizing Nesta’s every thought, as if Nesta wasn’t overwhelmed from the thought of possessing so much power, as if Nesta doesn’t refuse to use her powers and train. As if Nesta is out there hiding as she masters her power to reemerge and turn the world upside down. You’re the one who’s pushing Rhys to colonize other territories and become high king, Amren. Maybe *you* should be locked up in the house of wind for therapy. What hurts most in this is Amren was her friend. She trusted Amren. Amren said that shitty line to her and then lied to her and manipulated her and used her to further Rhys’s agenda. She flopped from telling Feyre that Nesta is immortal and a few years are nothing, and she should be given time. She would not betray her trust, to whatever she turned into in ACOSF. And everyone give SJM a round of pats on the back and an applause for making Amren the wise one here and making Nesta, the traumatized one who was wronged, get on her knees and apologize. I mean- if you thought this apology scene was necessary, then clarification about the fight between them was just as necessary. Or you include neither scene. But deeming the apology important and not the incident? This is some victim blaming on a whole other level.

The House of Wind: The house of wind was honestly one of the best parts of this book. It was Nesta, “Lady Death” as they call her, breathing life into something, and it was gentle, and it was patient, and it was understanding, and it pushed her to be healthier without judging, without throwing insults or slut-shaming. It hated that she didn’t eat? It kept waiting for her until her body gave out and she had to eat. It didn’t like her drinking? It gave her water when she asked for wine. It showed her its darkest part where she found the greatest warmth as well, as if saying don’t be ashamed of your darkness because in it you’ll find light, and it didn’t abandon her or stop responding to her when she was angry. It was actively by her side, without any judgement, only support and pushing her to fix the behaviours without dissing her. and it was everything those people around her weren’t. It was family.

Gwyn: their first meeting wasn’t at all what you would call “friendly”, to a fault by Nesta. Gwyn didn’t even know anything about Nesta, yet she didn’t react with even more anger as ~others~ did, she didn’t fear Nesta, or give a retort, or get angry and lash out at her. She took the blow and was, with all the calm in the world, like fine, you want to tell on me, go tell. And Nesta did go tell on her, then realized by herself how she acted rashly. And later helped Gwyn without being asked to, by swapping the book so Merrill doesn’t scold her. And their friendship grew to the point where Gwyn, a traumatized person who couldn’t dare leave the library, started training with her, was her friend and had conversations with her that didn’t center her trauma or her coping mechanisms being analyzed. She went out of the library for the first time in 2 years when she knew Nesta needed her by her side. She occupied her mind with stories of Valkyries, women being strong and unyielding in a society which didn’t allow it. She took her hand and gave her a purpose in life to work for. Gave her a friend who didn’t judge, a kind face in the maelstorm of judgemental faces. Until she felt like a safe space to Nesta to the point where she spilled all her thoughts, the ones she could only admit to herself, to Gwyn, letting her inside those walls. And when she braced for judgement, she didn’t receive it. Gwyn dealing with someone’s trauma, as someone who’s been through trauma herself, is one of the beautiful corners of this book

Emerie: Another woman with trauma. She sees Nesta enter her store, of course she knows who she is, yet she doesn’t judge her. Nesta asks about making the fatigues warmer, Emerie says she’ll ask, but it’s costly. Nesta says then she can’t afford it, admits that she was cut off, Emerie, as a stranger, doesn’t judge her. She says she could make them anyway and she can pay her as she can. Because no one should feel cold. It’s simple, irrelevant. Nesta wouldn’t freeze to death, she as a stranger has no obligation to help, it’s a simple reasoning. “You shouldn’t feel cold”. It’s enough for her to help Nesta. Something as mundane as feeling cold. She asks her to join her for a meal. And Nesta asks her if she would join the training, which Emerie refuses. and Nesta blurts out that she didn’t take her for a coward. And later, Nesta sends her the herbs she wishes to get which she can’t get often because of her location, and it’s a message of “you too deserve to see what’s best in the world, to go out and experience the beautiful parts and live, not just exist”. So Emerie goes to training with her as well, and they bond over romance novels. Emerie also reaches a point where she opens up about her own trauma, and tells the truth about what she faced and her survival. This girl who is 50-something at least, who has never had friends, living a lonely secluded life, finally found someone who was trustworthy enough to be around and form a bond with. As for the fact that she is a PoC, and the illyrians are portrayed as this group of savages who abuse their women and their women have no say in their lives and futures and how they clip their women’s wings, when wings, wingspan and wingplay heavily imply that wings are erogenous parts of the body and wing clipping seems to be the equivalent of Circumcision, which again so happens to be done by the “PoC savages who abuse their women”, hits a whole lot as fucking racist and xenophobic. PoC deserve a storyline where they’re not viewed as the villains.

Azriel: I loved his relationship with Nesta. He was the best chaperon™️, he never spoke in judgement toward her. There was a silent understanding between them. However, I’m not against him showing his feelings toward Elain or her toward him. It’s fine, if that’s what they both want. I don’t think Lucien is the type to call for a blood duel. He simply brings her presents and attends when invited, he doesn’t force himself on her and keeps his distance. However I did hate that Azriel took the necklace and gave it to Gwyn, as a secondhand. I know his only intention was to make her smile but the necklace wasn’t meant for her. It’s not a trial by error, he can’t just keep trying out with different women every time he fails with one. And I’ll just leave this here.

The elephant in the room: the entire IC is involved in this, them all blaming Nesta, framing her as the wrong person, when she told Feyre about the dangers of her pregnancy? I don’t care if she did it while she was angry, her heart was in the right place. She got hurt from them deciding her fate without her involvement, voting on her, not once, but twice, about her fate because she wasn’t fast enough to deal with her trauma, then again when deciding if she should know about what she did with her own power and the weapons. and she showed Feyre what was really at play. Protecting her from what she faced with the Inner Circle. Just because she was angry while doing it does not mean she did it out of spite. She did it to expose them, specially Amren at that point. But I don’t get how it was twisted to “because she wanted to hurt Feyre”. She wasn’t even angry at Feyre. But you all would rather suck up to the Inner Circle than confront the fact that they’re hypocrites and liars with a propaganda. They’re evil. They fear Nesta using her power to seize control of everyone because it’s how THEY are. With all this High King crap. Basically colonization dreams. With how they press rank whenever it suits them, and lie about the law to win arguments. It’s because those who are inherently bad think everyone is bad just like them.

Other Elephants in the room which have been here a long time: the thing with blaming Nesta for not being the breadwinner… I could never get it. Some have money-earning skills, others don’t. She, at the point of her life when she was human, was only trained in dancing and appealing to men socially so she could uplift the family’s social status. She couldn’t hunt. Feyre could. And NEITHER, should’ve been the breadwinner. Nesta was willing to starve to death if it would push her father to do something. Feyre wasn’t willing to wait and starve or watch anyone starve. But it doesn’t mean Nesta was at fault. She was only 3 years older than Feyre. Let’s leave the “the oldest child has to step in for the parents when the parents fail” mentality in the past. It’s ridiculous. Nesta was under no obligation to be the breadwinner. And she suffered self-flagellation regularly for letting Feyre walk out there and hunt. But she literally had no skills that when she thought of something to do, she could only think of selling herself on the streets. The parents were abusive, both of them. Favoring one child over the other and planting rivalry between the siblings. “i love you” means nothing. NOTHING, when there is no action to prove it. And if anything, this book made me realize that Nesta was never okay. She was never in a good place mentally. I mean, I knew, but this book just proved it. Her mother favored her alright, but it was not in a loving way. She simply exploited her to climb the social ladder. She didn’t give her love, she gave her instructions. She enabled the grandmother to beat her, and instill some “harsher punishments” one of which Nesta still holds the scars for. She was called worthless, as a child. Why? Because she made a wrong step in a dance. She was physically and verbally abused, and her mother let it happen. Yet she was the only one who would give Nesta the time of day so Nesta still loved her. As a child, her mother was the only person who showed interest in her and she clung to. However twisted it was, it’s the only love she ever got. The only love she knew. Then she lost her. and later the family also lost their wealth. So all she was taught to do her entire life suddenly became meaningless because she can’t achieve what her mother “trained” her to do. And we know the rest of the story. She never felt at home, not even when her mother lived and she still had that wealth. She admitted as much. She was never fine. She might’ve appeared the part, but it was never true. And since she was so good at masking her emotions, nobody was the wiser.

side note: As for her power being the “bare minimum” now, there better not be a plothole, since Rhysand couldn’t contain merely the “surface of her power” because it was too much. and if that’s all she retained, then it’s good enough for me.

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bokutoslittlebird · 3 years

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Haikyuu Characters as Husbands/Dads [Meian, Osamu]

Semi will be released at a later date (because I lost his and don’t know where it went 😥)

Meian - 2 sons

> I'd love for this man to be my husband, no lie. He's supportive and so attractive, like there is no downside. Plus, he's funny, but can be strict when he needs to be so kids actually like him.

> Husband Meian is one of the best because while he has his own responsibilities, he always makes time to spend with you. He takes care of you (so you don't have to work) and he's a great support system. Also, you visiting him at practice? You're like the team mom because everyone loves you.

> This man, oh my gosh. His dick is big, I know it is. He's one of the few who has to prep you heavily before he gets on with the main course, but it is so delicious when he does. Sex can sometimes be spontaneous, but he usually saves some energy to get back home and please you before bath time and then bed. On his days off, morning sex is common and sometimes he just gets so horny. It's like everything you do is so unbelievably hot.

> Now, children. Children, for him, is not something he necessarily needs in his life. If you don't want kids because you don't like them or you can't, that's fine. He won't push the issue. If you want kids and can't have them, he'll look into adoption places. You want him to get you pregnant? Congratulations, you unlocked the Breeding Kink badge. Collect it once you can walk again! But for real, with the consent to finish inside you, he is in heaven.

> The pregnancy process is a normal one, surprisingly. Once more your pillar, he is there when you feel sick or are in pain. He also promises to share in the responsibilities once the child is born, since he hears you getting up constantly because of the baby. He doesn't go to every doctor visit, but he does try to go to the ones that matter. Also, MSBY loves when you come around because they can fawn over you.

> Bokuto probably fawns over you the most, but Hinata's right there with him. Sometimes, Meian has to tell them to skedaddle because they forgot they're volleyball players and not daycare workers. Atsumu also fawns over you, but he doesn't do it as much. Sakusa.. he doesn't like babies that much. They're kind of gross, in his opinion, but he seems to understand the fuss once he feels the baby moving (after he's gotten used to it).

> The due date arrives and Meian is completely calm. He is aware that it would happen today and is prepared. He seems calm, but is actually panicking. He worries about any complications, but he tries to stay positive for you. When you're squeezing his hand and cursing him for putting a baby in you, he is actually sorry. He feels so guilty, but he kisses your hand and your forehead, telling you how proud he is and how much he loves you. Once the screams of a small child fill the room, you're both crying from happiness.

> You deal with the child most of the time, but you do take your kid to practices and matches. Once the kid can be taken to practices, it's over for organized practices. Everyone's cooing and looking at the baby, telling you how proud you must be and how they're so cute. Of course, Inunaki jokes that the only reason it's cute is because you're the mother, because Meian has no good features. Anyways, everyone does extra work that day.

> Meian can't be there as much as he wants to be, so he often makes up for it by holding his promise of helping out at night. He may be exhausted from the day, but he knows you'd be even more exhausted after dealing with his spawn after the day is over. It also helps the kid get used to him, seeing dad takes care of him as much as mom, you know?

> Meian is also not against a second child, as long as you're okay with it. You might get pregnant again on accident, but he can't say he's upset about the positive pregnancy test. He'll be there with you through thick and thin, no matter what.

Osamu - Twins, 1 boy and 1 girl

> This man is a godsend. I love him, you love him, it all works out. He is also one of the best husbands to have because of his fantastic cooking ability.

> The wedding was almost as chaotic as Tendo’s, not gonna lie. With his brother there, it was chaos. Suna recorded the whole thing, so get togethers involve the wedding tape being displayed. Watching Atsumu shove an entire cake slice into Osamu’s face is funny, sure, but watching Osamu practically hurl the entire cake at Atsumu is even funnier. Aran picking up Kita before he gets trampled by cake-covered twins is so sweet, it’s the sweeter than the cake (Osamu had a spare in case).

> Now this man, this man will never let you starve. Oh, you're kind of hungry? Food. He's making you Onigiri. Oh, you want something new for dinner? He's whipping out three different cookbooks and his laptop to look up new recipes. Oh, need a midnight snack? He prepared something before bed, so you'd have a midnight snack. The best husband to marry.. if you love food.

> If you are not as crazy about food as him, that's okay, but he will bring food into the bedroom. Maybe once a week if you're okay with it, but if not then once a month. He loves licking things off your body, so food play. I also feel like he loves to feed you, so feederism, but he just enjoys seeing you in the sea of pleasure and enjoying his food. It fills him with so much love.

> Speaking of love, the children. He's gonna have twins if he pops a baby into you. If there is a bun in the oven, some baby batter in the baby factory, you're gonna be seeing double. However, children are not a necessity. He doesn't find joy in raising children like some people, but he isn't heavily against it, either. If you cannot have children or simply don't want to get pregnant, but want them, he will also be okay with that. Looking through options and settling on a decision together brings you guys closer, after all.

> If you choose to get pregnant, he is one of the best to be with you. While there's Kuroo, with big bucks, Osamu can make anything to sate cravings. He's willing to take time off from the shop and focus on you, and he's good at dealing with mood swings. He's lived this long after being around Atsumu, Suna, and Kita. He can handle mood swings. He is also always with you when you go to the doctor, with questions of what he can and cannot feed you. It's his love language, after all!

> The babies, aww. You guys get a set of twins, a boy and girl, who look a lot like Osamu and Atsumu from their baby pictures. Atsumu is there and he jokes that maybe they're his kids, but one look from Kita has him apologizing almost immediately. Yes, Inarizaki alumni have gathered in the hospital to look upon the children. Well, not the hospital, they visit Osamu and you at home, where you're well rested and recovering.

> Osamu is The Man. He is waking up in the middle of the night, either with or without you. If you wake up, he'll heat up some baby formula/milk for the children and also make some food for the two of you. Since it's double the trouble, he makes sure to not leave you to take care of them by yourself. If you don't wanna get up or don't wake up, he doesn't mind. This just means he can spend more time with the kids, since he's busy during the day.

> Atsumu babysits! He babysits with Kita and Aran, but he babysits! He loves being an uncle and loves to play with the twins. He also brings/buys them little toys to chew and drool over because he enjoys them enjoying things. Aran also helps Kita make food/milk for the babies, acting like an actual married couple as they feed the small spawns. Atsumu naps around this time, eventually joined by napping babies.

> When the kids get older, they'll never feel unloved. Between you and Osamu, they have two very loving parents. But then you add in Uncle 'Tsumu, Uncle Aran, Uncle Kita, Uncle Sakusa, Uncle Bokuto, Uncle Akaashi- the list never ends. Everyone that knows you guys is an uncle. Inarizaki alumnis are uncles. MSBY Black Jackals are uncles. Akaashi is always visiting Onigiri Miya and loves to interact with the kids, to the point you've asked if he plans on ever having children because he's so good with them. (He's good at taking care of kids because he's used to taking care of Bokuto).

> I have a feeling one of the kids is going to go into the culinary business. Maybe own a bakery when they're older, showing an interest for baking at such as young age. One of them is of course going to be loving volleyball, with all the volleyball "family" members around them, it's bound to happen. Both of them probably get into volleyball, becoming the new Infamous Miya Twins Duo.

#BB.Requests #miya x reader #osamu x reader #Mr. ‘Samu #Onigiri Man #meian x reader #Mr. Shūgo #Meian.hcs #Meian.Floof #Osamu.hcs #Osamu.Floof #Miya.hcs #Miya.Floof #haikyuu x reader #Meian.Spice #BB.Kinky

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itgetsdarksometimes35 · 3 years

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When Two Lonely Hearts Come Together

Warnings: Non con, dub con, witchcraft, demons

Prompt: I am so glad I swallowed before you said that

Word Count:

Pairings: Dark!Demon!Winter soldier x Witch!reader

Summary: Witch reader decides o summon a demon to keep her company

~ indicates a time change

A/N: Wow it’s been a while. I’ll spare you the nitty gritty of finals and work and just say this was a challenge for @what-just-happened-bro ‘s challenge in July. Oops. Anyway enjoy! More coming soon ;)

XXX

The Winter Soldier. AKA, the demon of obsession. Every witch you knew avoided contacting his spirit, in fear of the power he possessed. Though nobody was completely sure, his powers could be positive. The risk, however, of him being a negative spirit was enough to deter anyone from trying.

You had agreed with them at a time, but now as your town that housed all the witches of the land burned down as you ran for safety into the woods, you realized you were completely alone. At first, you got by with no contact with others, but alienation isn’t healthy for anyone. Not even a witch.

You were a part of a community that was killed within the span of just a weekend after a local town pledged everyone you knew. You had barely escaped, using your mother's spirit’s warning as a sign to run before the fires even started. You looked back with horror. Witches could do evil, but more often than not they didn’t. Choosing a life of quiet rather than to stir a pot that couldn’t be undone.

As you sat in the middle of the forest, the home to you for the past 2 years because of the freedom to move as your fear of staying anywhere too long progressed, laying out all the equipment you needed. Most of what you owned burned, but you saved what you could while remaking other necessities. Everything was ready for the séance, you just needed your blood.

The blood would be a guide for what the Winter Soldier was to cling to. You. You needed a companion, one who would be obsessed with you. The desperation you had sunk to was enough to have your dead friends and mother clawing at your soul, warning you not to do this. You blocked them all out, knowing the only way to stop the pain you felt would be to play a game with the devil for one of his children. A risk that could cost you your soul to be trapped in an endless Hell.

The knife sliced through your hand and you held it over the star that you made in the dirt and out of rocks. You chanted the words you had memorized at the young age of 10, and as you did you felt the wind tousle your hair. Your eyes instinctively rolled to the back of your head as the words dripped from your lips like poison. In the wind, you could hear the sounds of tortured souls screaming for mercy as the gates of Hell opened to release one of their most prized possessions.

Then, silence. The only thing you could hear was your heavy breaths, and you could feel the sun lowering to make way for the night. You slowly opened your eyes to see the star in the dirt spewed and your rocks clear of any blood you had just painted them with.

He’s here.

Your eyes searched the tall trees until your eyes landed on a man in black. He wore a mask that covered his face and his arm shined in the little light the sky was blessing you with.

You slowly stood up, grabbing the cup filled with herbs and other things to help the demon adjust to the world, while he followed your body’s every movement. You stalked closer to him, wary of his intentions, while showing your hands as a gesture you meant no harm. Who conjures a demon to fight them?

“Winter Soldier. I say your name therefore you hold no power over me. I’ve asked upon your spirit of obsession to accompany me in life.” You told the demon your name and stopped a few feet in front of him. He looked so alive; his eyes looked like you could drown in them. You handed him the cup and watched as he removed his mask to drink it. He grunted in pain before throwing the cup away.

“The fuck is in that?” The words came out rough, his throat sounded unused.

You hesitated a moment. “Herbs.”

“And?” He could tell you were holding out.

“Crushed beetles.”

The soldier seemed to chuckle. “I am so glad I swallowed before you said that.” You laughed nervously with him, and a quiet beat followed.

“You’re lonely.”

“Yes.” It wasn’t a question, more a statement, but you still answered it like it was. He still doesn’t move, and you felt so awkward. Now what?

You cleared your throat. “Well, uh, are you going to come from behind the tree?” You tried to smile, make this less excruciating. For once the silence you had lived in all your life was no longer acceptable to you.

“I haven’t seen anyone else since the year 934.” The soldier ignored you as he stayed perched behind the tree. His body was huge, not even the tall pine could hide him from you, though.

“Oh.” He didn’t need to explain the story to you, you knew it well. The Winter Soldier was released by a witch to reign destruction on the village. He killed millions in just one day. The witch was burned and the Winter Soldier’s story was passed down from generation to generation of witches. Some say the witch meant harm, others say it was the demon who decided how those people met their end. That’s why a mystery was connected with him for so long.

“What do you want?”

You looked to the demon, finding an uneasy comfort in his eyes. “Everyone I have ever known is dead. I have no one left, they are just white lights and voices that dance around my dreams, gone as soon as I open my eyes.”

The soldier stared at you a bit, considering you, before moving to stand fully in front of you. “So you want me to bring them back?”

“No, their spirits are at peace. All I want is someone to be with me until I can meet them in the afterlife. Your obsession can be me, I just want your company.”

The soldier had never heard anything like this before. Everyone contacted demons so they could do something for them. Who contacts one for a friendship? Something snapped inside him in that moment. He finally felt a calmness at the realization, and he smiled devilishly at the woman.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion before he grabbed her by the forearm with his metal arm, burning her skin. You howled in pain, the sound of sizzles and pops filled your ears. Smoke rose from your arm. The demon finally let go, leaving a mark permanently on your skin.

“What the fuck was that for?” Demons couldn’t touch humans and vise versa. Not unless you wanted to feel like you’re sitting in Hell.

“You’re mine now.”

You looked at him confused before taking a better look at your arm. There you saw the mark of the Winter Soldier.

“No, I own you. Like a genie in a lamp, I let you go so you do my bidding now.”

The demon laughed again. “Do you know who you contacted?”

Oh no. Had you messed up? “You’re not the Winter Soldier?”

Again, the demon let out a hearty laugh. “The Winter Soldier replaced the devil a long time ago, darling. I run the show now. And I make the rules.”

Your eyes got big. How could this be? No demon is so powerful that they could overthrow their leader. It’s unnatural, it’d be like God being overthrown.

“N-no, it’s not possible. I banish you back to Hell Winter Soldier.”

“That won’t work on me.”

You tried again. “Go back to the fiery pits from which you came from, leave this earth and all its inhabitants behind. I say your name, Winter Soldier, with power over you as I exile you back to Hell!”

You continued to chant as the wind picked up again, the pits of Hell opening to welcome back their ruler. Only, he isn’t going back. He just stood there, smiling at you.

“Are you done?”

You shook your head. How is this possible? Before you could pick up the fruitless chants again, the soldier grabs you by the arms and drags you down to Hell with him. You watch in horror as the portal to your world closes before your eyes.

Turns out, the Winter Soldier was right. He ran the underworld. Demons and their victims fell to their knees as he walked by them, bowing to their lord.

You saw fire and destruction, pain painted everywhere. They all cried for the mercy of death, but it fell to deaf ears as their tormentors continued their hatred.

You didn’t burn, you didn’t even feel hot, as you trailed behind the Devil as he pranced around his kingdom. His home was likable to the place a royal family would stay. A huge red castle with black accents here and there. Inside held the same colors. It smelled of ash, yet, it didn’t bother you a bit.

The Winter Soldier led you into a room with two thrones. A man stood near the thrones, metal cuffs around his bleeding ankles. Your eyes widened at him. He had dusty brown curly hair and beautiful brown eyes. He was gorgeous, what did he do to get caught up in a place like this?

“Lucifer.” The soldier nodded to the man and he quickly set his sad eyes down to the floor. Lucifer? As in? “I hope you can help my guest feel welcome, she’s come a long way.” He smiled at you, but you just glared back. The ex devil just nodded his head at his new master.

You were beckoned to sit on the smaller chair next to the bigger one where your captor sat. He turned to you after telling Lucifer to get him and his friend some food.

“What do you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, do you like it? I designed it all myself, it wasn’t easy you know.” He smiled at you, showing you sincere adoration. You could’ve puked.

“It’s Hell.” His face dropped.

“Obviously, but I think I’ve made it work quite nicely. You’ll get used to it?”

“What? No, you’re going to send me back to earth!”

“How could you be my queen on earth, silly?”

Queen?

“What? No, I can’t be your queen! I can’t stay here forever, I have to die on earth so my spirit can move on in the afterlife. So I can see my friends and family again.”

The soldier shrugged. “They can visit.”

You could’ve shouted. “No, they can’t! I’m- I- This isn’t why I summoned you.”

“Isn’t it though? You needed a companion, I needed a companion. It seems everyone is happy here.”

Lucifer returned with a tray of fruit and the soldier started eating the grapes. “Ugh, I’ve never been able to get used to mortal food. It’s all yours, my love.”

You pushed the tray from you as he tried to hand it to you. “I should’ve never called to you. I should’ve listened to what everyone said, your powers are used for evil. Not good.”

The Winter Soldier rolled his eyes. “Is that what everyone says about me? Because of what happened with that witch, huh? Well, let me tell you what happened. The bitch wanted to take over not only our realm but hers as well. I agreed to help her, but when I killed everyone to turn into demons she no longer wanted to comply. She sent me back to Hell, and that was the day I vowed to never be turned down again. She was the woman who was supposed to be my wife. My first love, and she slandered my name. Well, that’s why the cunt lives here forever, wishing she would’ve never double crossed me. After that, I started my plans to overthrow old Lucifer here so I could make the rules. I come and go as I please, wherever, whenever.” He looked accomplished with himself.

“Except Heaven.”

The soldier laughed so loud it boomed in the empty castle. “Heaven? Aw, you poor thing. You still believe in that place. God left everyone a long time ago, dear.”

That’s it. You had had enough. “Let. Me. Go.”

“Nope.”

“Now!”

“No! Look at your arm, you’re bound to me forever. If you leave my side down here, you’ll burn. As your soul leaves your body it’ll be cast down here with everyone else forever to be tortured. You’ll never get the chance to live with your loved ones. The only way you’ll see them is if you stay with me. I’ll take you wherever, but you will never be apart from me.”

Your eyes filled with tears. “Why?”

“Because I love you.”

The Winter Soldier’s hips crashed into yours at a hard pace, just how he liked it. Your moans mixed together in the room as you both reached your peaks together, his cum painting your velvety walls.

He reached up to feel your swollen belly and smiled into your neck. “They’re almost here.”

You hummed in response. You had been stuck in Hell for the past year. You accepted everything slowly, but surely. Once you did, your husband showed you an unwavering amount of love. He let you see your family and friends, whom you hadn’t seen in years, and he let you travel to different realms. You never wanted for anything. He quickly, with you by his side as queen, took over all realms of the universe. Everything belonged to him, and in turn, to you.

Once you both learned of your pregnancy, you were nervous. You never thought you’d get married, let alone have children. The soldier helped you through it all, though, and your nerves were replaced with true joy as you thought about the triplets growing inside your belly.

You never knew how much love could come out of two lonely hearts meeting together.

#dark!fic #dark!#dark!wintersoldier #dark!wintersoldier x witch!reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!marvel #dark!mcu

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

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First Christmas - VALERIE extra blurb (Harry Styles)

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️