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#one of my straight female friends has a tumblr which to me is shocking because tumblr seems very queer to me
hannahhasafact · 1 year
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Much like how when a mom friend steps up when needed, being the only person attracted to women in a group of men and women makes you exponentially more butch because someone must step up
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memes-saved-me · 3 years
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Billy Hargrove and implied Queerness
First off this is focusing on his scenes without Steve because we've all seen those and....they're pretty homoerotic to say the least so I will be bringing your attention to the other factors which lead people to believe Billy is gay or interested in men and not so much women. This isn't very indepth but more surface level observations I've made and seen others make.
(TW: Homophobia and slurs discussed)
Season 2
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The first scene we get of Billy he is instantly sexualised by those around him. Tina and Vicki taking interest in him based on his looks while Carol watches on rather unamused. This sets a trend for his character and his relationship with his looks and body, but more importantly how he uses it to his own advantage. Of course this was done to play into the 80s bad boy who all the high school girls fall for but what I'll explain later makes it much more interesting.
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The next we see of Billy is with Max on their way home. During this scene he insults the looks of the high school girls, referring to them as cows. We then get a very interesting line "Yeah, we're stuck here and who's fault is that?" Which Max replies to with "Yours."
A response that instantly angers Billy to the point he demands she take responsibility for moving to Hawkins. A topic that has clearly been discussed before because Max's reaction implies this has happened before if not multiple times.
In Runaway Max, which isn't confirmed canon and contradicts a lot of stuff but, we are told that the reason they moved was because Billy was completely off the rails to the point he broke her friends arm. Now. Does that make sense in blaming who's fault the move was? If this is the case it is obviously Billy's fault so why does he keep saying it was her who caused this? She clearly liked being in California so why would she do something to make them move. Unless it was unintentional...
This heavily implies that there is an unspoken incident which involves them both. An incident which triggers such anger and recklessness in Billy to the point he almost runs over Mike, Lucas and Dustin because Max wouldn't say it was her fault. Many have then filled in this gap with Max accidentally telling either Neil or Susan about Billy and another boy, which would make sense with the information or lack of information we are given in canon about the reason they moved.
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While at Tina's Halloween party we do not see Billy interact with a single girl. He is seen with Tommy and another boy who then approach Steve with him. It would make sense for girls to be drooling over him in this moment, trying to dance with him or following him inside but no. He makes a beeline for Steve and we do not see him for the rest of the party.
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Now, I don't know about you but have you ever seen a teenage boy look less interested in his date? Not only is he not interacting with verbally but also physically. He then gets angry when she calls Max his sister and they drive off without a word. It's implied he is taking her home as he they were waiting for Max, meaning he was probably going to hook up with her but if he was wouldn't he act just a little nicer towards her?
I mentioned before that he is the archetype for 80s bad boy and the girls sure are falling, he just isn't catching them. This is the only time we see him interact with a women his age in a romantic way. If you could call this romantic at all.
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When in trouble for letting Max run off while watching her, his response is that he doesn't have the time to go looking for her because he has a date, a date we never see or get the name of, this prompts his father to say the line "So that's why you've been staring at yourself in the mirror like some faggot..."
A line that then prompts Billy to snap and argue back after clearly wanting to get out of this situation as fast and smoothly as possible. Where else have we seen anger brought on by a topic? That's right in the car with Max. There is a trend of Billy reacting with anger to conversations or comments he finds personal or as some sort of attack. This is also when Neil becomes fully angry with Billy as seen in his rather shocked reaction at his response to that line.
This also continues the trend of Billy caring about his looks and using them as a shield of sorts, a shield that doesn't work against his father but everyone else he encounters.
Something to keep in mind, Billy is the only character to be called a homophobic slur by a parental figure other than Will. The character he mirrors in multiple ways including having the same full name William, as well as Will being heavily implied as gay or queer. Both of their father's use homophobic language against them, unlike any of the other characters in the show.
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The next we see of him after the incident with Neil is also when we see him interacting with another women in a romantic sense. Karen. This is where his use of his looks and body fully come into play. He uses these assets to get information and affection out of Karen to make his father happy and avoid further punishment.
Now this is my own interpretation but Billy is used to using his body for positive attention and doesn't get that any other way. At no point in the series is he treated like a person other than in S3 by Max and Max only. Everyone else views him in an objectified manner or as a bad guy to avoid.
There is a clear resemblance between Karen and Billy's mother which I'll further discuss in the season 3 section but this leads me to believe he is subconsciously or even consciously wanting positive attention from a motherly figure, he just doesn't know any other way to achieve that.
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However, it is very clear that flirting with Karen was an act as seen by the quite jarring juxtaposition of these two frames. The mask fully gone once by himself again. Meaning the only time we see him flirt with a women it isn't genuine at all.
Season 3
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Now, continuing off the last point, there is countless girls practically drooling over Billy at the pool but he only accepts this attention from Karen. This exemplifies my theory that he doesn't know how to gain positive affection other than through flirting and well sex, but he only wants this attention from an older women who resembles his mother. Except, again he doesn't know any other way of gaining it. He hasn't had a strong positive female influence in his life since he was 10 years old and by the looks of it every motherly figure has treated him as eye candy and not a teenager crying for help.
He has Heather who is very much his age and flirts with him. Yet, he acts as if she isn't even there and goes straight over to Karen to flirt. The way he acts with Karen should be the way he would act with girls his age, flirting and making advances but we do not see a single example of this.
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This part I find extremely interesting because it perfectly mirrors his interaction with Karen in season 2, except instead of dropping the mask he puts it on. The way he looks to his right as if she is sitting there as he practices what he is going to say to her is a clear example of his act coming into play as he prepares to meet up with her. His expression very similar to when he leaves the Wheeler home but it shifts to practice the way he is planning on talking to Karen. A complete reversal from their scene in season 2.
A rather reaching piece of symbolism could be that this also mirrors the way Neil cuts off Billy's date in season 2 as the Mindflayer is a literal representation of him being controlled by his father.
I also find it very interesting that he chooses to flirt with Karen very publicly and this might be reading a little too into it but it comes off as trying to uphold some sort of image. Another example of this is Max saying she hears Billy with girls in his room, something that sure is something he would do but when you put this with everything in this post it also comes off as him trying to prove something.
Another thing I find interesting is the way he acts around Karen, all smiles and friendly is very similar to that of the way he acts at dinner with Heather's parents. An act put on by the Mindflayer, just as he does when flirting with Karen. A mask used for underlying means and not what it shows on the surface.
Conclusion
This is all just my observation and he is not canonically gay or queer but the way he acts around women compared to Steve is a very interesting aspect to his character. If they truly intended for him to be this bad boy ladies man then they failed at presenting that.
One final thing, which I have posted about before is the fact Billy does not use homophobic language towards anyone. Even Steve does in season 1 so it would make sense for a teenage boy trying to upstage another teenage boy to use slurs and such to belittle and bully him. Except he doesn't.
I could write a full dissertation on Billy's implied queerness but a unorganised Tumblr post will have to do. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
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wickedw3asleys · 3 years
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hey love! could you write a smut for George where it’s the readers first time and George is super sweet about it and is inlove with you and everything you do:)
MAKE YOU MINE (fluff/smut)
George Weasley x female reader
AN: Sorry for posting it so late! I had some troubles with tumblr and it almost didn't let me post this 🙄, BUT ANYWAYS, thank you for submitting something and I hope it's what you wanted and I truly hope you'll like it!!! ❤️ Love u too, and thank you so much for your support 🥰
Also, sorry if this is long, I like writing long stuff and giving details 👉🏻👈🏻
Warnings: insecure reader(a lil bit), fingering, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, cussing...
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When you first started dating George, not in a million years would you have thought to have your own expectations rising up. Not towards him though, but towards yourself.
George was that guy. Simply that guy. He was loved by everybody, one of the popular funny guys. And even though he was extremely sweet with you, you couldn't help but feel that something in you was missing.
Not that you weren't feeling enough for me, but at the same time, kind of...
One thing that made this feeling about you increase day by day was your virginity.
The concept of "virginity" was something that you particularly hated, hating the sense and meaning the modern society had given to it. But to shorten things up, yes, you were still a virgin. And even though you hated it as a concept, you couldn't stop but feel pressurized by yourself because of it.
And the fact that not even George knew about it made it only worse. For the few months you've been dating you've always tried to avoid it the best you could, but you could also feel George starting to worry about it, and why you would always push him away.
Plus, you were at that age where all your friends would start doing it, so you've had to see the parade of all your friends telling you one by one how excited they were that they finally lost their virginity. First was Ginny, then Harry, then Hermione, even Neville got to you to talk to you about it. So unconsciously, that weighted on you.
Today, you were hanging out again with George and his brother, both taking you to the Quidditch field to show you the new tactics they've been trying for their future match against Ravenclaw later that week. You could've been listening to George all day talking so passionately about Quidditch, but you had something else in your mind, and he could sense it. But he didn't say anything about it.
The thought of your bloody virginity was still in your mind and you didn't know how to make it disappear.
"... Y/N, are you okay?", Fred asked, seeing you totally off.
You sighed, "Yes! So, the bludgers..."
"You weren't paying attention, were you?", George asked gently, to what you sadly nodded.
"Sorry, guys... I've got things on my mind today..."
"Hey, don't worry. No need to apologize, it's okay", your boyfriend started to caress your arm, "We can head back in if you want"
"Yeah! I'm starting to get hungry anyways!", his brother answered.
You were grateful for them for being so understanding and not getting mad at you for being off, "Uhm... I'd rather stay here a little bit, I need more fresh air. Is it okay with you?", you asked George.
"Yes of course, sweetheart! Do you need anything?"
You said no and let them take off on their brooms, directing to the castle. You could see George's worried gaze, and you also knew that one day you'd have to talk to him anyways. He was your boyfriend after all. And seeming that he was so sweet with you always, you didn't quite understand why you were so scared to tell him.
After almost two hours of sitting there in the cold, you decided it was time for you to finally head back to the castle. Lunch would probably be over by now, fortunately you weren't hungry.
As you made your way to the corridors, straight to the common room, you crossed paths with the Weasleys; Ron, Ginny and the twins.
"Hello, darling! We missed you for lunch!", your boyfriend said, gently kissing your forehead.
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I didn't see the time
pass...", you apologized.
"Are you okay? You're freezing, Y/N!", Ginny exclaimed, hugging you.
"Yes! Don't worry! I was just heading back to the common room..."
George could see your still worried look, so he thought for himself it wouldn't be the best idea to go there and have everybody all over you. He didn't know what was going on with you, but he didn't like to see you like this, and whatever was on your mind, he was determined to make you forget about it.
"You three can go!", he said to his siblings, "Y/N and I are going for a walk, I think. Do you feel like doing that?"
You looked at him, surprised, but you agreed to it. A walk with him sounded pretty good right now.
So as the other Weasleys said their goodbyes and went to the Gryffindor common room, you took George by the arm and let him lead the way.
"Where are we going?", you asked after a while of walking.
"I don't know... What about the Astronomy tower?"
"Yeah, sounds pretty good!"
You smiled at him and started to make your way up to the tower. Since it was around 5pm, the view was absolutely splendid up there. You could see how the sun was slowly starting to go down and making the sky changing into all these beautiful shades of yellow, blue and orange.
"So, are you going to tell me was has you so upset?", George asked, sitting down.
"Nothing... It's just silly, actually..."
"Nothing is silly if it bothers you", he pat the floor next to him, indicating you to sit next to him. "Come on, darling. You know you can tell me anything..."
You sighed as you took place next to him, snuggling into his chest due to the November cold.
"It's just...", you sighed, " I don't know... I don't want you to judge me or anything..."
"Hey, hey... I'd never judge you... Unless you kill someone, but I'm pretty sure that if you give me a valid argument I'd still understand your motives", he said, making you laugh. "Come on, tell me..."
"I'm so stupid...", you laughed, rubbing your forehead, " George, I haven't done anything... Like... Sexual... With anyone before..."
Your boyfriend looked at you, serious, "You mean, you're a virgin?"
"Mmhh... Yeah", you hummed.
"Sweetheart, is that why you're so upset?", he asked, you nodding as answer. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I don't know! It just feels... wrong... You're like so popular and nice, and I know you've been with girls and now you dating me doesn't makes any sense in that way!"
"Y/N, it doesn't matter to me!", he smiled. "I don't know who put you that silly idea in your mind but it's definitely not true at all. I love you, you know that. It doesn't matter to me if you have done it before or not..."
"Are you sure?", you asked, unsure.
"Of course I am! Besides, it would be such an honor for me to be the first one for you..."
He took your hands in his and kissed them warmly, making you laugh at the action.
"Thanks, Georgie..."
"No need to thank me, there's nothing to thank me for...", he caressed your cheek, "You just tell me whenever you feel ready... or not. That's up to you. I just want you to know that you can always feel safe with me, and comfortable."
"I do! I do feel comfortable! It's just... I don't know, I guess I can get pretty silly sometimes..."
"You're not silly, love. You're nervous... And it's
completely normal. I just want you to understand that it's okay, I don't want you to feel pressurized or anything"
With that, you thanked him with a small peck on the lips, and after a few minutes admiring the sunset, you decided to go back to the common room.
You were actually very thankful for George; you didn't know someone could be that understanding, and you appreciated that with all your heart. And surprisingly, all your doubts from earlier left your mind, finally being at peace with the topic.
It was insane how quick George could make make your problems disappear for a while.
And thinking about that, you started to feel determined. You wanted him to be your first.
After all, you've know him for a little bit more than three years now, and you've started dating a few months ago. And not once you've felt uncomfortable or upset because of him. And you knew you could trust him for all that virginity story. If you had to lose it now, you'd definitely choose him, even if you weren't dating.
"Flibbertigi-
"George, wait...", you interrupted him in front of the Fat Lady. "I want you to be my first... I want to do it..."
"W-what? Do you mean, right now?"
"Yes, right now...", you smiled to him.
"Oh, for Goddrick's sake... Flibbertigibbet!", he took your hand and took you inside with him, you laughed as you could see his excitement in his eyes.
"George! Could you hel-
"Not now, Jordan!", he left Lee speechless and shocked on place, which made you laugh, "Sorry, Lee!", you apologized.
You could hear a few 'ooohh's and some whistles coming from your friends mouths as you and George quickly went up to his dorm.
Went you arrived, your boyfriend made sure no one was in the room, and the proceeded to close the door shut with a charm. He strangely looked very nervous and excited at the same time, tripping on his own feet and making sure several times that the door was closed and everything was on place.
When he turned to face you and making sure that you were okay, he found you already sitting quietly on his bed, all smiles.
"Oh, darling... Sorry, I got carried away...", he says, embarrassed.
"Are you nervous, George Weasley?", you chuckled.
"Well, maybe...", he slowly started to walk towards you, "I've never had a pretty girl in my room..."
"You liar!", you laughed.
"But you love me...", he said, slowly leaning towards you.
"I surely do...", and with that, George starts kissing you gently, at first; making sure you were comfortable, and when he felt you deepening the kiss, he took it as a green light to sit next to you and push his tongue inside your mouth.
You moaned in his mouth; you felt extremely nervous, anticipating what was about to happen, but you knew that you wanted it. So to relax yourself, you put your hands on his chest, feeling his heart, focusing on its beat.
George took it as a signal to start touching your body. First putting one his hand on the back of your neck, asking more of you. Then, his other hand found its place on your thigh, his warm hand bringing you comfort.
As you kept kissing more and more passionately, his hand slowly went up and down your leg, making you shiver at his touch. You knew you wanted him, right there and right now. All your previous thoughts completely gone now, only replaced by excitement and anticipation.
Trying to lay you down on the bed, George accidentally placed his hand on the inside of your thigh, making you moan at the surprise.
What you didn't know, is that he swore to himself that it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, and he was way more than ready to hear more of you.
"Can I...?", he asked, starting to unbutton your shirt.
"Of course you can...", you cupped his face and arched your back to kiss him again, this time more passionately and deeper. You started to feel hot, to feel excited... Feeling a hot and extremely pleasing sensation in your lower abdomen. You lift up your legs a little bit, and accidentally rubbed your left knee on George's crotch, which made him groan in your mouth.
You stopped the kiss and looked at him deep
in the eyes, admiring him. His pupils dilated, his lips slightly swollen from the kiss and his messy long ginger hair falling on his face.
"Merlin, I love you...", you breathlessly say, before taking him for another kiss and slightly pulling his hair, making him groan again.
"I... *kiss*... Love... *kiss*... You... *kiss*... More...", he said between kisses, slowly going from your jawline to your upper chest, passing from collarbone to collarbone.
You've never had someone kissing you as hungrily as he was, and you swore it was the best thing you've ever felt.
"Come here...", you whispered to him, tugging on his shirt so you could take it off.
He wasn't extremely muscular, but he surely was fit. And the contrast of all his freckles on his pale skin made him look even more handsome than he already was.
Both of you continued undressing the other, taking your time to make the other comfortable and not wanting to end the moment, until you knew you were ready.
"George, please... Now...", you said, almost breathless.
He smiled at you, placing a last small peck on your lips, and slowly started a trail of kisses from your jaw to your stomach.
"W-what are you doing?", you asked, already feeling dizzy from what he was doing to you.
"I'm taking my time... I want to make you feel good...", he smiled back, bringing back his attention to your skin and his kisses. He made sure to kiss every inch of your bare skin, leaving here and there marks that would sure be visible for a few days.
"Can I take these off, darling?", he asked, playing softly with the elastic of your panties.
"P-please...", you whispered.
He delicately took them off, and continued placing few kisses around your waist.
"George, fuck..."
"What do you need, sweetheart?", he devilishly smiled, locking eyes with you.
"You, I need you"
"As you wish...", and with that, he took your thighs between his hands, gently spreading your legs for him. You thought your body would automatically close them due to your vulnerable state, but it was nothing like that. He totally made sure you were okay with it and you were feeling more ecstatic than ever.
George blew lightly on your -now- swollen clit, making you breathe heavily. And in seconds, you found his head lost in between your legs. The moment his tongue was on you, you starting moaning. You've never felt anything like that before, not even when you touched yourself.
You automatically brought you hands to his hair, which made him groan.
"George, oh my god..."
"You like that, darling?", he asked, leaving kitten licks on your clit.
"Fffffffuck... I do...", you continued moaning.
He was doing wonders on your pussy, you couldn't believe how good it was feeling. In just a few minutes he had you already squirming under him, moaning all for him.
"Ssshhh... Quiet, darling... You don't want the others to hear you, right?", he says, making his way back up to your lips, allowing you to taste yourself for the first time. "Are you ready for more?"
"Y-yes..."
He went back to your clit, massaging it a little with his thumb, watching your reaction. George couldn't believe his eyes, you were, at this instant, the most beautiful view he could ever have.
With a smile he went back to work his tongue on your swollen clit, but this time, you felt some pressure at your entry. He put his arm on your lower abdomen to keep you in place, that being the hottest thing ever, and he slowly introduced a finger in you.
Since you were not used to it, you started to feel a light pressure, kind of annoying. But as his tongue was still working on you and he would introduce his finger very carefully in and out of you, the annoying feeling quickly disappeared. Only leaving more and more pleasure.
"George! Fuck...", you moaned again.
He didn't stop. On the contrary, he actually sped up a little bit his pace and slightly curled upward his finger, making your back almost arch by itself.
"Shit, that feels so good!"
"I can see that, darling...", he chuckled, licking and slightly nibbling your clit, "You're so beautiful..."
Almost unexpectedly, he introduced a second finger in you, owning a groan of pain in return. "I know darling, but I need to prepare you..."
You took a deep breath and tried to relax as much as you could, feeling your inner walls slowly relax around his fingers.
"Just like that, princess..."
The pleasure you were feeling now was insane. You couldn't even imagine how I'd feel to have him inside; and at the thought of that you started to feel extremely impatient, "Georgie, please, I need you... Now..."
"Are you sure?"
"For Goddrick's sake, yes!", you moaned, louder than before.
He smiled and started to replace his fingers with his tip, taking the time to use your wetness as lube. And then, he slowly entered you.
He put a hand next to your head, and the other one was on your upper thigh, helping him gain balance and not get too carried away and unintentionally hurt you. He watched your face slightly contort in pain, "Relax, darling... It's okay...", he tried to calm you.
You opened you eyes and looked a him, putting one hand on his cheek. He was so handsome...
When he felt you relax under him, he sunk deeper in you, completely stretching you. You didn't know if it was because it was your very first time or if it was because he was way above the average size... Maybe a little bit of both, he was huge!
But when the pain started to disappear, it only
made it better.
"George, honey... Please, move...", you pleaded, already feeling like you were going crazy at the feeling.
He did as you asked, sinking completely inside you and gently thrusting in and out. The firsts fee thrusts were still a little bit painful, but the pain was now accompanied with an extremely pleasing feeling, more powerful than the one you felt when George's tongue was working on your clit.
"O-oh my god... You feel so good...", you moaned, making him twitch inside you.
"And you're so tight for me, Y/N... You're doing so good... So good for me...", his grip on your thigh tightened, probably leaving marks for the next day.
Both of you continued enjoying the moment and the intimacy, George increasing a little bit his pace.
"F-faster... H-harder... Please...", you whined.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Fuck!", you threw you head back, your hand resting on your forehead.
George did as you asked and increased his pace. He could feel you tight walls closing even more around him due to your pleasure, and he felt like he could die right there and right now and he wouldn't even care.
"Fuck, Y/N...", he groaned, pushing into you and making you scream again, "I'm not going to last much longer... You feel so... Fucking... Good... FUCK!"
You were a moaning mess, you couldn't even think straight. The pain had almost completely disappeared, but the addition of it to all the pleasure you were feeling was a perfect combination.
And just when you thought you couldn't feel even more pleasure, George brought his hand to your clit and furiously started to rub it perfectly.
"FFFFFUCKKKK!", you nearly screamed, back arching into his chest. In just a few seconds you started feeling something warm build up in your lower abdomen, and it seems like George felt it too.
"Come on, darling. Let's do it together..."
He continued thrusting in and out of you, never leaving your clit and applying the correct pressure to it, making you come undone in seconds unexpectedly.
"GEORGE! Shit! I'm c-
"Me too, darling. Come on!"
"FUCK!"
And with a few more thrusts and a bunch of curses, you both came undone for the other. George helped you riding your orgasm, moaning at his own overstimulation, and when you finally calmed down, he dropped onto you.
Neither of you spoke, you were too busy trying to regain your breaths.
"That was..."
"Unbelievable!", he said, sounding like he was dying. That making you laugh.
"Are you okay?", you asked.
"Yeah, yeah! Don't worry about me!", he raised his hand and dropped it. You hugged him tightly and gently stroke his hair, "Thanks, Georgie... For this..."
He turned his head towards yours and locked eyes with yours. You could feel all the love and admiration in his eyes, warming your heart.
"No. Thank you... For loving me, and trusting me..."
You gently smiled and placed a loving kiss on his lips.
"I hope I didn't hurt you..."
"Not at all. You were perfect. More than perfect!"
He kissed your shoulder one last time, and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, "Let's take a nap..."
"It's almost 7pm!", you laughed.
"Mmhh... Don't care..."
You laughed and looked at him one last time, before slowly closing your eyes and fall asleep with you boyfriend in your arms. The last thought that crossed your mind was how much you loved that man... and how Lee and Fred were supposed to enter the room since George didn't have the time to lift up the charm on the door...
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fortruthseekers · 3 years
Text
REFRESHER ON MY INSIDER SOURCES: BTW, this is Purv aka @p-redux. This is my original Tumblr blog I’ve revived to archive past source info.
In 2014, I first posted my insider source info. I didn’t have a Tumblr blog, so I posted everything on my old Twitter account, all the details the sources gave me then. The fandom, especially shippers, went into an uproar because my source info sunk the ship. The SamCait ship had barely started sailing and I sunk it before it had made it out into open sea. Shippers have never forgiven me for that. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. 
Throughout the years, I’ve reiterated my source info, but summarized it because most people had already heard it, and I didn’t see a need to keep rehashing it. The more time past, the more it became clear Sam and Cait weren’t a couple, and that the info I had shared with the fandom AHEAD of time was true. Cait was seen with Tony a lot. And Sam was seen with different girlfriends or dates. But since I’m turning this account @fortruthseekers into an archive account, I’m going to post the original source DETAILS again, for newbies. This post is going to be LONG, very long, because I go into detail. Read it if you need a refresher on what I said previously about sources, or if you’ve never read the source details before. Click on Keep Reading to find the rest.
Okay, so about sources. REAL sources. I live in Los Angeles and used to be in the industry many years ago. As a result, I still know people in the industry. And just by living in L.A., you meet people who know celebs. In 2014, I got who I call “my original industry source” through a friend who knew I was watching Outlander. And she thought it would be cool for me to talk to this industry person who had Outlander connections. My friend put me in touch with her so we could talk about our common interest. Initially, me talking to the source was just to schmooze about insider info, I wasn’t planning to make it public or create a celebrity insider info account. But I was surprised about how much she knew. At the time many people, including myself, thought Sam and Cait were most likely a couple, when the source told me she knew for sure they weren’t, I was floored. Then after she told me all the details of her interactions with Sam, Cait, and some of the Outlander cast, and the fact that she was friends with one of Cait’s besties, I knew I’d hit a huge source of info. 
At first, the source didn’t want me to make the info public, she didn’t want to get in trouble, but she thought it was important that people knew the truth about whether or not Sam and Cait were a couple. She figured if they knew, then people wouldn’t get their hopes up and be disappointed when Sam and Cait became more famous, and would inevitably be seen with other people. As I said, that original industry source is good friends with one of Cait’s female best friends. And because she’s in the industry, she also had a connection to Sam through his talent agency. So, she had insider info on BOTH Cait and Sam. Jackpot.
Because I knew her full identity and knew I was talking to the real person on her real and blue check verified Twitter account, and my friend had introduced me to her, I could trust that her info was legit. She is also Instagram blue check verified and has made a name for herself in the industry. People would be shocked if they knew who she was. SHE is the one who told me 100% Sam and Cait were not dating and that 100% Sam is not gay.  At first, she didn’t want me to post things publicly, but I begged and she finally relented, as long I would swear I would keep her identity private and would leave out some identifying details. 
So, in 2014, I went public with all the details she told me. And through the years, EVERYTHING she told me turned out to be true. I didn’t have a Tumblr blog at the time, so all my source info was posted on my old Twitter account. I posted every detail of what she told me and I also posted some of her DMs with permission, and name blacked out. Unfortunately, all that is gone because I deleted my old Twitter account a long time ago. 
The main points were: Sam and Cait weren’t a couple and never have been. When I said to her that I knew actors were different than regular people, but that when I saw Sam and Cait talking about watching the wedding scene together, while drinking a bottle of wine, that there was no way they didn’t hook up at some point. She said she’s been around a lot of actors and said Sam and Cait are both natural flirts and very touchy-feely people, and she didn’t see anything out of of the ordinary in their interactions–she reminded me their behavior is the norm when promoting a show. 
She also said Sam isn’t gay per people she’s talked to who know him. She knew the director of Batman Live, the live show Sam starred in years ago. The director was a gay man, and when she asked him if Sam was gay, since he seemed too good to be true and was so good-looking, he said no. And he said he and other crew who were hoping Sam was gay were disappointed that he was straight. The director told her that the reason Sam didn’t seem to have much of a dating history, was because he had always been focused on his career and on working out. And that because he was traveling with the show, there wasn’t time for a committed relationship. Later, we found out that Sam had indeed been dating a woman named Katie Rebekah, but they broke up because she moved from London to Australia, and Sam started to tour with Batman Live. That’s the info I got in 2014. If Sam was gay, the gay director would have told my source and squeed about it.
This source used to work between New York and Los Angeles. She was in New York for one of her TV shows during the July 2014 premiere of Outlander and hung out with Cait and Cait’s bestie, as well as some of the other OL cast and crew. She also had some business meetings with Sam in NY. She confirmed Sam brought Amy Shiels as his “plus one” to the premiere and even skipped out on an unplanned event the cast was invited to because he “had a date.” When they saw him the next day and asked him how his date went, source said Sam replied “It was great!” Even though this source got info from Cait’s bestie…the bestie kept quiet about Cait and Tony, and simply said that Cait and Sam weren’t a couple….I found out about Tony from someone else...more on that later. 
This source did share some info about what Cait thought about Sam. She said that Cait cared about Sam as a costar and friend, and they got along very well.  But Cait said Sam was not her type, that Cait didn’t date actors, and that Cait referred to Sam as “a bro,” and that Cait was not into guys who spent so much time in the gym. She said Cait genuinely liked Sam as a person, but there was not more to it. And that Sam was just a big flirt, and that they were both trying to promote Outlander as much as possible because they knew it was their big break. 
This is also the source who told me that Cait’s friend, the one the source is friends with, didn’t particularly care for Sam. To be very clear: I don’t feel this way about Sam, Cait doesn’t feel this way about Sam, and my source doesn’t feel this way about Sam. In fact, my source said Sam “was lovely” to her and “a sweetheart.” But one of Cait’s besties, just ONE FRIEND–not plural, the friend said that she thought Sam “could be self-absorbed,” and “douchy.” ONE of Cait’s friends said this. No one else said this. And that was way back in 2014. I’m sure Sam has matured since then, as people tend to do as they get older. BTW Cait has a lot of close friends, some of which aren’t well known to fans. Reiterating: Cait doesn’t feel that way about Sam, the source didn’t feel this way about Sam, and I, Purv, don’t feel this way about Sam, nor have I said anything like that about Sam. 
Back to Sam being a natural flirt, remember, even Cait said “he could flirt with a lamppost.” Well, my source said that the times she saw Sam at business meetings, he was always very nice to her and would greet her with a big bear hug, tight enough that she could feel how hard his chest was. He would look down at her, right into her yes, hold her gaze, and smile big at her. And this was a woman he was not interested in romantically. He was just being friendly and sweet. Imagine how high the charm wattage is turned up for a woman he IS interested in. No wonder that Samshine has been hard to resist. This is also the source who said that Sam would always say goodbye to her by saying his now ubiquitous “Let’s get together for a wee dram when you’re in Scotland.” Of course, that “wee dram” never happened. I think that’s just Sam’s people pleasing qualities coming out, never wants to disappoint anyone. The source also said whenever he would text or e-mail her for business related stuff, he was always super enthusiastic and used a lot of exclamation points !!!!!!
Anyway, my original industry source “broke up” with me years ago because she didn’t want to chance anyone finding out who she was, as Outlander got bigger, and as she got bigger in the industry. I still sometimes look at her Twitter and IG all nostalgic, remembering when it all started...ah, memories...
My second major source was my Tony family source. My Tony source is someone from Glasgow who was friends with someone I’d known for awhile. My friend put me in contact with her. The Tony source approached me to tell me that she was shocked to find out a relative of hers (later found out it was her brother) had revealed “the lead actress from that new show Outlander is dating Tony McGill.” She was shocked because she and her family have known Tony and his family for years, all of them growing up in and around Glasgow. Her brother went to school with Tony and his brother, Joe. She then told me the whole backstory of Cait and Tony. She wanted me to keep the info to myself and she had no motivation or intention of making it public. But she finally agreed, after I gave my word that I would protect her identity and I have. 
What she shared with me in late 2014 is that her brother found out their friend, Tony was dating Caitriona Balfe. At the time she said they’d been dating for about 9-10 months, that’s why I always put the start of their relationship around March 2014. She was told that by December 2014, the relationship was “dead serious” between them and that Cait had spent Christmas 2014 in London with Tony and his dad. And then Tony had flown to Ireland with Cait to spend New Year’s Eve and New Year’s with her family and friends (we’ve all seen the pic and video on Donal Brophy’s IG). My source said that Cait and Tony had been friends for 9 years or so at the time (again, this was told to me in 2014) and had met years ago when Tony rented out a room to one of Cait’s friends. They hooked up briefly back then and then remained friends, until it turned romantic again around March 2014. The source said that she and her family knew Tony and his family from back in the day, and she told me what school Tony went to in Glasgow (something I haven’t and won’t make public). She said that Tony had moved from Glasgow years ago and had been living in London for awhile (again, this was told to me in 2014). Also, that he and his brother owned a bar/live music place in London, The Library in Islington (they later opened a second one, The Reading Room, which Cait posted from on IG) and a music production company. And that prior to that, Tony was the band manager for some Scottish bands, most notable, The Fratellis. She described Tony as “fun, clever and hysterically funny.” 
The Tony source came into the picture after I had my Twitter account up, where I was posting insider info given by my first source. I had already posted that Sam and Cait weren’t dating. This second source is the one that filled in the missing puzzle piece I didn’t know was missing and told me she knew WHO Cait was dating. I would have NEVER known the name Tony McGill associated with Cait if not for this source. He was on no one’s radar. And he wasn’t on social media. This source told me details only an insider would know. And I also had her full identity, so I knew she was legit as well. Then ‘lo and behold Tony started showing up places with Cait. There is NO way I would have known about Tony without this inside family source. No way. Of course after my source told me about him, I did look him up online and there was hardly any information about him. Never in a million years would I have linked Tony McGill with Cait on my own. And I mentioned Tony McGill way before he started showing up places with Cait. How could it be that I said sources told me Tony McGill is dating Cait, and then a man identified as Tony McGill is seen out and about with Cait? The only way I knew about Tony is because the source told me. 
Back in the day, when Cait and Tony weren’t yet living together yet, people wondered how they made their relationship work given the sometimes long distances? Well, when they first started dating around March 2014, Cait was filming Outlander Season 1, so Tony would go to Glasgow or Cait would go to London on weekends. Then when Season 1 wrapped and Cait went back to L.A. (where she had been living) in late Sept. 2014, Tony went to L.A. to visit her in October 2014 (both their birthdays are in October, Cait Oct. 4 and Tony Oct. 12, not Oct. 14 like some have said. Libra/Libra bond!). The Fratellis were also in L.A. Oct. 2014 and Tony helped them out with some business stuff, even though he was no longer managing them then. Then, as I’ve already stated, Cait and Tony spent time together Dec. 2014 and January 2015 for the holidays. Then Valentine’s Feb. 2015, Cait flew to London for the opening of Tony’s 2nd bar, The Reading Room. She posted a pic on IG. Then in April 2015, Tony flew to NY to join Cait for the premiere of the second half of Season 1. Eyewitness sources saw him sitting with Cait’s friends at the screening and then with Cait and her friends inside the after party. There was one PUBLIC pic on Twitter of Cait, Tony and Sam. And I and others have been shown private pics of Tony there. Many of us have seen them but we couldn’t make them public because they show the location where they were taken, thus identifying the source who took them, and she would get in trouble with her boss. After that, in May 2015, Cait went back to Glasgow to begin shooting OL Season 2, and this time, she brought her cat, Eddie with her. Per more than one source, Tony pretty much lived in Glasgow after that with Cait. One person who went to Tony’s bars in Glasgow and then reached out to me, said that she had asked about Tony and was told “he doesn’t come around much anymore because he moved back to Scotland.” They then moved into their new place in Glasgow, move out of that one and into a new one in Glasgow, and also have a place in London, and are now married and had their first son. THAT’s how Tony and Cait made it work.
My Tony source also parted ways with me, also due to fear of being found out. She didn’t formally break up with me, the way the original industry source did, she simply ghosted me. But I also see her pop up on Twitter or IG sometimes and get all wistful. Oh well...
After I posted the insider info from BOTH these sources, then people started to contact me with source info. They knew I was Anon and would keep them Anon--win/win. People who went to Hollywood parties, or premieres, or meet and greets, people who saw celebs at the market, or baseball games, or the beach, or at the gym, or walking down the street, or just happened to be at the right place at the right time, started sending me info. From all over the world, wherever Sam and Cait were. And if I could confirm it to be true, I would post it. If I couldn’t completely guarantee it, then I’d say it was speculation. And that’s what I still do. Granted, back in the day, I was somewhat naive, and did get burned and betrayed a few times. I admitted when that happened. I’m much more careful now. But for the most part, the MAJORITY of the info I’ve posted has been ACCURATE. People who have been here for years can corroborate that. I don’t post everything that is shared with me though. And because my sources are actual real humans, they can’t know everything or be everywhere…I don’t always get minute by minute info, that doesn’t mean I don’t have real sources.
As for me also being the first to let the fandom know that Sam was dating Abbie Salt in 2015...I had a couple of Abbie sources. One of them turned out to be super sketchy and once I figured that out, we parted ways. My Abbie sources approached me after I had already established my account as an insider info sharing account. The motivation was to debunk that Cody and Sam were still seeing each other since they no longer were, and Abbie had started seeing Sam. 
BTW: as an aside...I was also the one that, through an eyewitness source, told the fandom that Sam and Cody Kennedy had gone to the Matthew Morrison Halloween party in October 2014, and the source had seen them kissing while waiting for the valet to bring their car around. You don’t know the LENGTHS that Extreme Shippers went to to disprove my source. They even Google Earthed the driveway from the street to the valet and measured it trying to prove that my source could not have seen where Sam and Cody were waiting for their car. Hahahah omg. Except, my source wasn’t on the street, she was right next to them. After all the bullshit from ES, it’s a wonder I’m still here, but here I am...the strongest bitch you’ll ever meet. But I digress...
Anyhoo, back to Sam and Abbie. I had no idea Abbie Salt existed or that she had dated Sam before and was friends with him…until my Abbie source contacted me to tell me that Sam was no longer dating Cody Kennedy and had resumed dating Abbie Salt. Abbie met Sam years ago when her sister, actress, Charlotte Salt starred with Sam in “A Princess For Christmas,” they dated briefly then, and then rekindled their romance in early 2015. Cody Kennedy’s mom later confirmed this by posting publicly in response to a fan Sam and Cody had broken up because “Sam went back to his old girlfriend in London.” Abbie lives in London. Again…I was surprised because I had no idea…but all the info checked out and then whadda you know, Abbie started showing up in Glasgow…in Sam’s flat (IG pics since deleted)…in L.A. in February 2015 at the London hotel, West Hollywood seen and photographed by an eyewitness for Oscars Week parties (the pic is of Sam and the fan, taken by Abbie, fan said Abbie was super sweet)... n NY when he was there for the OL premiere April 2015 (she posted on her IG, since deleted the pics), in Miami when he was there (eyewitness and Miami source proof that they were in Miami together, and NO that was not me, it was a source) and in Barbados together (Barbados source confirmation, and NO that was not me, it was a source, and pics from Abbie and Sam Tweeted he had been in Barbados). After that, Abbie was in Glasgow and Sam in London, where Abbie lives, on several occasions…not to mention she was photographed as his date in Monte Carlo for the TV Film Festival. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the Abbie Salt sources told me about AHEAD of time, then started to spend all that time with Sam. I didn’t even know Abbie existed, how would I have ever known anything about her without sources?
I also told the fandom about Mackenzie Mauzy and Sam dating via a source who saw them in person, holding hands and leaving together at a Guns N Roses concert in Los Angeles April 1, 2016. A friend of someone I know in L.A. was there and recognized Sam. He told my friend that he’d seen “that Outlander dude, Sam Heughan holding hands with a blonde, leaving the Guns N Roses concert.” At first, I thought it may have been Cody Kennedy, but afterwards, sources came forth to confirm it was Mackenzie Mauzy. Later on, I was contacted by a different Mackenzie source and given more info, which I posted. That Mackenzie source ghosted me too because Mackenzie was probably asking questions as to who was doling out info.  Also, by sheer providence, a fan was in the stands at the Dodgers baseball game in June 2016 and sent me a video of Sam and Mackenzie at the game together. Another source sent me the video of Sam and Mackenzie leaving their hotel together at San Diego Comic Con. I’ll repost all that in the archives. And someone I’ve known for years on Tumblr and trust completely came forward to share that she found out Sam and Mackenzie had broken up from one of Mackenzie’s relatives who live near her. Again, that was also by chance. Life can indeed be stranger than fiction. The relative told her Mackenzie wanted to get married and have kids and Sam wasn’t ready for that yet, so they broke up. That source came forth and identified herself on Tumblr, so that also proves my source info was legit. 
In summary: I was the FIRST to let the fandom know Cait and Sam weren’t dating, Cait was dating Tony, and Sam was dating Abbie, and Sam was dating Mackenzie BEFORE anyone else knew. You can’t do ALL of that simply by scouring social media posts as haters would have you think. It’s just not possible. And reasonable people understand that.
Before Covid-19 hit, people who were attending industry events would contact me and say “Hey Purv, I’m going to the PCA, or the TCA, or the GoldenGlobes, or the Outlander Season premiere and after party, I’ll give you the scoop!” I’d say “Cool, thanks! Send pics or video and let me know what and who you see.” That’s it. No social media searches or data mining needed. There is no conspiracy involved. No one is “feeding” me info from Sam or Cait’s camps or non-shipper or shipper sides to propagate a certain “narrative.” It’s just different people, who are at the right place at the right time, or are privy to certain insider info, sharing it with me because they know I post info for fans who are into that. As I’ve said ad infinitum, I am quite simply THE MESSENGER.
Any questions, send me an Ask or a Direct Message on my MAIN account @p-redux  Thanks!
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imagine-that-100 · 3 years
Text
Truth Serum
Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You’ve been friends with Matty for quite a few years and he thinks he knows pretty much everything about you. Like how you’re always more honest when you’d had a drink and even more so when you’re tired too. But when a head injury and strong painkillers are added to that equation, for Matty it’s entertaining, but for you it’s a recipe for heartbreak. 
Word Count: 9.7k
Warnings: A lil bit of angst but mostly fluff.
A/N: This was requested by @jagz72​! Sorry it took so long but I got VERY carried away and just couldn't stop writing. I really hope you enjoy reading it, I definitely enjoyed writing it. I hope everyone has a very Happy New Year! This year has been amazing (on Tumblr) and I’ve connected with so many people on here it’s been really lovely making so many new friends. I’m wishing you all a wonderful 2021!
Likes and Reblogs are appreciated but most of all, thank you so much for reading x
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This really wasn’t how you hoped your day would go. But here you were, sitting on a hospital bed with a nurse shining a torch in your eyes making sure you were okay.
The reason you were here may be funny in the future when you tell it back to your kids or something. But right now, you were worried and so was the man that was holding your hand, who’d been the cause of your injury.
Matty had brought you to A&E as soon as the incident happened.
You'd been friends for 3 years, so it really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary these days when Matty popped by early in the morning. You knew he liked getting out of his house so his inability to sleep for long durations didn’t suffocate him.
After all, no one liked lying in bed wide awake when you knew you were meant to be asleep.
So, you’d given him a key many moons ago to try and help him combat that. You were a creative person, be that crafting or baking or painting.
You had it all.
So, his mind could run wild in your house and he’d yet to get bored. You’d woken up more than once to find him in your lounge, painting once but most of the time you found him trying to replicate your baking goods.
And he was really shit at it.
When he walked into your home this morning, you were already up and in the kitchen baking. Truthfully it was a surprise to see you up and about so early as it was only 6:30.
You didn’t sleep very well last night as you’d been out drinking with a few friends. You never really slept well after an alcohol filled night. It always left you really dehydrated and because you lived quite a bit out of London, not too far from Matty, you most of the time started with your hangover before you even got back home.
But that was the choice you made when you went into the city to drink.
So in theory Matty shouldn't have been surprised when he saw you already awake this morning. He knew you’d gone out and he knew what drinking did to you.
Matty quite liked when you got drunk with him, you were a really funny person and you pretty much had no filter when you had alcohol in your system. That was always fun for you all when you went out, and Matty loved the taxis back home with you on nights like that.
He always brought an extra drink in the taxi with him so your hangover wouldn’t start in the 30 minute drive back.
Matty had greeted you with a hug when he walked into your house and found that you were in the kitchen. You seemed really happy to see him too and you got to chatting about how Notes was coming along.
But it seemed that you and Matty let time get the better of you as Matty kept teasing you for practically still being drunk. The alcohol that was still present in your system obviously hadn’t worn off it’s truth serum effects yet and Matty liked to tease you about doing impulsive things, like baking cookies at 7:30 in the morning.  
The next time Matty looked at the clock though, he was really late for a meeting. Your tired, tipsy, sleep deprived self had been quite entertaining leading him to forget that he had people to meet.
Jamie had called him double checking about the meeting that was meant to be starting at 8:45. But the time was now 9:22 and he still hadn’t showed up so Jamie, being the friendly manager he was, just called him up to check if he was okay.
“Oh fuck.” Matty curses looking at the caller ID and the time.
You look around at Matty worriedly and ask, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m meant to be at a meeting with Jamie and the lads right now.” Matty tells you, “I’ll be just a minute.”
Matty goes out of the kitchen to answer the call as he didn’t want to disturb your early morning baking. He didn't care if you could hear what he said or not he just didn't want to disturb your morning.
That and he was going to try and get out of the meeting so he could stay and eat all the cookies you’d yet to put in the oven.
Matty answers Jamie and profusely apologises for lacking manners to show up to a meeting on time. Thankfully, Jamie isn’t that fussed about it and suggests putting the meeting back as he was free until early afternoon.
Matty jumps at that chance.  
But then Matty practically whips himself around with the intent to ask you how long it will take to bake the cookies so he’d know how long to push the meeting back, but he never gets that far. When Matty turns around, he barges his shoulder straight into you causing you to be pushed back.
You were just about to make your way past him to get your phone from where you’d put it on charge in your lounge earlier, but that was long forgotten when your head smacked off the corner of the wooden door frame behind you.  
The bang to the back of your head shocked Matty to his core. You both stopped dead and looked at each other and as soon as Matty’s hands rested on your shoulders he kept apologising.
“Shit shit shit. Y/N are you okay?!” Matty asks, his hands flying to your shoulders to steady you, his phone still in his hand.
“I’m okay.” You tell him in shock, moving away from the door frame a little to hold the back of your head.
You could feel a lump forming already, but there was no blood, so you guessed you were alright. Matty quickly puts his phone to his ear to tell Jamie he’d call him back before he pockets his phone and holds your shoulders again.
“I’m so sorry Y/N. I didn't know you were there, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Matty asks worriedly.
“Not your fault Matty.” You tell him, “I’m fine.”
Something which Matty doesn’t believe for a solid minute despite you assuring him that you were okay.
Once he relaxes a little, he pulls you into a hug as another way to apologise. You also relax and take your hand off the back of your head to hug him back, trying to assure him you’re okay. But you can’t help the curse that falls from your lips as you could already feel a headache coming on.
“Fuck me.” You say resting your forehead down on his shoulder.
His eyes go wide, “Really?” Matty questions in shock.
“No.” You say immediately, and Matty is about to laugh until you correct your statement to, “Well, not right now.”
Matty’s eyes widen, “What?”  
You didn’t even say it in a sarcastic or joking way. Matty immediately felt the need to pry.
“My head hurts a little.” You whine into his shoulder, but he assumes it's to try and distract from the little slip up you just had.
And as much as Matty wanted to make your head better instantly he was shocked by what you said. So before he could stop himself he grins, “Tell me what you just said.”
“Matty I’m fine, go to your meeting.” You say picking your head up off his shoulder.
He looks into your Y/E/C eyes and they narrow as he asks if he hears correctly, “You said I couldn’t fuck you right now?”
“Yeah, so?” You shake your head as if you didn’t remember saying that.
Matty looks at you curiously, frowning a little as the thought had never really crossed his mind that you thought of him like that. “You want me to fuck you?”
“We’re not discussing this right now.” You shake your head again but Matty sees pain flash through your eyes. You hold the back of your head again and he can see you're actually in pain. “Matty, my head hurts.”
“I’ll get you some ice.” Matty says letting go of your waist and looking to your fridge freezer across the room.
Before he can move though you grab his arm and say, “No, go to your meeting.”
“You can’t just say you want me to fuck you and then tell me to go to a meeting Y/N.” Matty grins at you.  
You close your eyes and sigh, “Matty.”
Matty’s grin gets bigger and he holds your waist again and teasingly says your name, “Y/N.”
“You shouldn’t be joking about this now...” You shake your head a little harder, “You just made me accidentally whack my head on the fucking door fra- oh... I feel dizzy.” You say and Matty’s heart goes in his throat when your eyes roll to the back of your head and you almost go limp in his arms.
“Shit.” Matty says, tightening his hold around you so you don't fall to the floor and hit your head again.
And that was how you ended up in A&E at 9:55 on a Friday morning.
“Okay so, you’re okay but you’ve had a moderate concussion and you're unfortunately going to be in pain for a day or two with it.” The nurse tells you when she stops shining the torch in your eyes.
“We will give you stronger painkillers than the ones you’ve already taken but with these you need to be woken up every two hours when you go to sleep tonight. Try and stay awake as long as possible today and then,” She looks to Matty, “You need to wake her a little every two hours. Not like getting up and about but she needs to respond or you call an ambulance.”
“Oh he’s n-” You start to correct her to wonder what you need to do for yourself because Matty wouldn’t be with you.
But Matty says, “Yeah course, I can do that.”
After the nurse told you and Matty what symptoms of things getting worse to look out for you picked up your prescription from the chemist. After that though you expected to go back home and try to relax your headache away but Matty refused to let you out of his sight because it was his fault you were in this state.
So Matty took you to his pushed back meeting and took you to the studio afterwards as he had to keep his eye on you. You weren’t chatty throughout it all, as you tried to keep yourself to yourself.
But that didn’t mean that you didn’t find the meeting fucking boring and you felt like you were intruding in the studio. But you did get another insight into their new album which was fun.
You tried to keep your mouth shut whilst you listened to it, liking to take in the lyrics but when you did you were a little shocked about it.
The song you were allowed to listen to today was Nothing Revealed/ Everything Denied and there were a few revelations in there that you weren't expecting. But you tried to keep that as quiet as you could because the strong painkillers mixed with the lack of sleep was also acting as another form of truth serum.
Since taking your painkillers early this afternoon, you’d been messy to say the least. You’d made a fool out of yourself when you complimented all of the other boys.
Earlier you basically told George earlier that you thought his tattoos were attractive. You told Ross that his hair was looking really good with it longer on top and you even accidentally moved it and styled it a tad for him. You forced yourself to not tell Adam that you found him hypnotic when he played the guitar.
“You have nice eyes” You tell Matty, but not actually meaning to, as you sat across from him at the cafe you’d gone to for lunch not far from the studio.
Matty glances back at you from the window then and he smiles, “Thank you”
He also feels the need to add, “You’ve got nice eyes too”
You seem to become a bit embarrassed then which makes Matty smile. You seem to disagree with his observation though and shake your head which confuses him a little, until you say, “I have boring eyes”
“Mine are literally the colour of this table Y/N” Matty says, pointing to the dark wood that your plates both rest on. “Not very interesting”
“They are interesting. They look like they see the world differently” You say honestly before looking back down to your food.
Matty watches as you eat then. It seemed like you didn’t mean to say that either because you went a bit shy again.
He decides to let this one slide but when you do it again he can’t help himself.
About 3 hours later, Matty was driving you both back home from the studio and he noticed that you were pretty silent in the car despite one of your favourite songs just being on the radio. Matty looks to you after the song finishes and notices your leaning your head on the window.
Your eyes were closed and you looked a bit better than earlier, so he asked you, “How you feeling, love?”
But you didn’t answer him and that makes him panic a little bit. He forgot you weren’t allowed to sleep.
“Hey Y/N/N” Matty says, flicking his eyes between you and the road and he shakes your shoulder.
“I’m tired Matty, leave me alone ” You say shrugging his hand away.
“No no no stay awake” Matty says pulling on your hair a little bit instead to try and annoy you awake.
He does it for a minute and he only stops when you pick your head up off the window. You shift in your seat and turn towards him so you’re now facing him properly and resting your temple on the headrest.
You close your eyes again but you know he’s right, so you ask, “Can you keep chatting to me to keep me awake because I don’t think I can do it on my own.”
“Fuck.” Matty chuckles.
You always told him to shut up. Never to keep talking.
“Have I broken you?” Matty chuckles a little looking back to the road.
“Not in the way I want you to break me.” Matty hears you whisper and his eyes go wide.  
He sees that your eyes were closed again but this time you were curled up on the seat facing him. It didn’t even look like you knew what you just said.
He immediately turns his head and asks in shock, “Do you know you said that out loud?”
“I said that out loud?” You ask, your eyes open in shock.
“Yes Y/N.” Matty smirks glancing back at the road and then at you again.
You look mortified and you pull your phone out  of your pocket and distract yourself on that. You don’t look at him as you say, “Well pretend I didn’t”
Matty wants answers though. “Y/N do you wa-“
But you interrupt with, “Matty when are you releasing Notes because I wanna play If You’re too Shy on repeat?”
“Y/N/N.” Matty tries again but you have none of it.
“Answer me.” You insist, evidently not wanting to revert back to what you said.  
Matty gives in and estimates, “Like May-ish.”
“May?” You question in an annoyed sigh. “Matty you said it would be out last year.”
“Don’t believe what I say music wise.” Matty says looking back to the road now as you definitely weren’t going to go back to the topic of him ‘breaking you’. “I said that we were stopping the band after Notes remember and that’s changed.”
“Yeah, I don’t know why you ever said that. You belong on a stage”. You say as you scroll back through your phone.  
“Thanks Darling” Matty grins, “Do you like watching me up on stage?”
He hopes to get another comment out of you like before. But he just gets a sarcastic, “Oh yeah Hun, you look like the drama queen you are.”  
You’re good with your slip ups after that until late at night when you head up to bed with Matty following close behind joking about the ‘adult sleepover’ you were having. He’d insisted he was staying and doing the checks on you every two hours.
You were fine with that as he’d stayed in your bed before when the both of you had passed out mid movie nights, but the jokes you could do without. Especially when your lips were speaking so freely from the meds you were on and the lack of sleep in your system.
“You hurt me Matthew, you should be taking care of me not asking me to shag you” You say before heading into your bathroom to get changed after throwing a pair of joggers his way.  
When you re-enter your bedroom, you see Matty already under your duvet and you give him a hug once you lie yourself down beside him.
“You’re never this touchy with me” Matty says a minute into the hug that's practically turned into a cuddle.  
“Because I don’t know if you like me touching you.” You say as you let go of him and grab the pillow under your head to bring it between you so you could hug it as you drifted off to sleep.
But you leave Matty confused then. You were never the touchy type in general and in the time he’d known you, he’d never seen you with the boyfriend you had when you initially met so he didn’t even know if you were a cuddly person in a relationship.  
“You don’t like anyone touching you.” Matty says after your eyes had been closed for a few seconds.  
You don’t open them back up again, not even when you admit, “I like you touching me.”
It makes Matty once again freeze as he wasn’t expecting your honesty. And he certainly wasn’t expecting you to continue with, “Makes my day when you give me a hug or kiss my cheek or give me a loving headlock, even if your hair does tickle my face when you do it.”
You chuckle a little at the end of your sentence which leads Matty to do as well, at both your honesty and the comment about his hair. The way you’re smiling into your pillow is also impossible for Matty now to smile at.
“I love your hair, you know?” You tell him, still keeping your eyes closed.  
Matt smiles at the fact your filter seems to be completely gone at this point. So Matty feels the need to compliment you back.
“I love your hair.” Matty tells you, tucking a strand of it that had fallen onto your face behind your ear. He tells you honestly, “I like messing with it”
“Mhhh” You hum with a smile. You add in a whisper, “I like it when you pull on it.”
Matty is once again taken aback by your statement and this time he can’t let it go. The teasing remarks that you’d been accidently letting slip all day had to have meant something, or you wouldn’t look so sheepish after you said them.
Like just now you were cuddling yourself into your pillow more than you already had been and Matty just couldn’t bring himself to let it go. Yeah it may not be the time for such a conversation at 1:48am but here you both were.
And Matty had to know.  
So after a silent minute he said, “Y/N”
“What?” You ask softly.  
“You know I can hear you whispering?”
“Maybe you were meant to.” You tiredly suggest, your voice barely above a whisper.  
“Where’s this all coming from?” Matty asks, a little amused as you never gave out compliments unless it was about his music.
The music was something you never joked about but you always did with him and the rest of the band.
Matty watches as you internally battle with yourself on what to reply. But it seems the truth ends up being your easiest option despite you sighing before you start.  
“I think I like you a lot Matty.” You tell him and it shocked the curly haired man to his soul. You carry on, your eyes still closed, “And once I slipped up I couldn’t stop myself from carrying on.”
Matty struggles to find words for a moment there. He didn’t know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t this.
“I think about you all the time when I’m not supposed to…” You trail off for a moment there leaving the room in silence. Something which then leads to you add in a sad tone, “And I get it if you leave... I wouldn’t like me either but I’m sick of hiding it now.”
Matty stumbles again but he just about manages to ask, “Ho- How long...? Have you liked me?”
“I think I noticed after George’s party” You say thinking back to three months ago.
“Why?” Matty asks, not remembering anything significantly different about that night compared to the others you’ve shared together.  
“Because you’re you” You say simply.
Matty frowns a little then, not annoyed he doesn’t think, but maybe a little disappointed. He didn’t want people to like him because he was Matty Healy from The 1975 anymore.
Matty wanted that left behind in 2015. That’s why he’d had the long relationship with Gabby and that was why he’d only been out with very few people since her, Twigs being the only one that got a little serious. But all of them eventually fizzled out for different reasons.
Matty just didn’t want people to want him because of who he was on stage or who the media presented him as anymore. He was done with it... completely and utterly-
“You always make me laugh by pulling a face when I’ve had a bad day at work.” You carry on after those few seconds of silence, and you continue on to say, “You know my shit and you tease me about it but in a fun loving sorta way. You tuck your hair behind your ear when you're nervous which is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I get jealous when you do it to other girls and not me, but that’s fine. And my heart goes rapid when you tell me a cheesy joke because you decided to tell it me first. And I find myself wanting you to be around all the time even if it’s the middle of the night.”
You finish off your tired rambling leaving Matty on the opposite side of your bed completely stunned. So much so that the man who always has something to say is left speechless.
Nothing coming out of his mouth even if he could think of something to say. You have completely stunned him.
He is so desperately trying to think of a way to reply to you that he doesn’t realise how much time passes. The only thing that rips him out of his thoughts are your next soft words.
“Am I allowed to go to sleep now or do I have to stay awake?” You question in a whisper, your voice thick with tiredness.  
Matty looks at your soft stunning features and just about manages to whisper back, “You can sleep... But don’t you want me to tell you how I’m feeling?”
You shake your head into your pillow and Matty listens intently when you say, “I’d rather have ten more minutes of us being friends without it being awkward and then I can wake up tomorrow and cry when you’re not there and don’t want to be my friend anymore.”
And just that sentence alone breaks Matty's heart. He assures you, “I’m never going to not be your friend”
Because no matter what happened tomorrow he didn’t want to lose you. You’d always been such a good friend, there was no way Matty was ever going to let that go.
“But you’re not going to be close with me anymore because you know I like you.” You say, your voice full of melancholy. But you for some reason feel the need to assure him, “And that’s okay. I wouldn’t like me either... But thank you for being my friend for as long as you have.”
“Y/N” Matty starts but you don’t let him finish.
“Goodnight Matty. Talk in the morning.” You say, “But if you go, I understand. I won’t bother you anymore.”
“I’m n-” Matty tired again but your tired voice interrupts once more.  
“Thanks for everything Matty.” You say giving him a smile, your eyes still closed but you must have known he was watching you.
That night Matty didn’t sleep a wink. You were all he could think about. He lay on the other side of your bed for hours trying to process everything you said.
He couldn’t believe it. He was really shocked by your honesty just before you went to sleep but as you spoke he could physically see your body relax. As if it was a weight of your shoulders which he guessed it must have been.
Matty took the hours he lay awake and processed everything about yours and his friendship through his mind. And there were so many happy memories.
Matty didn't even get through the first year before his 2 hour alarm went off on his apple watch and he stirred you a bit to make sure you were still alive. He of course knew you were but when you hummed a little in response to him calling your name that was enough for Matty to let you rest again.
Matty went over every single thing he could remember in his mind. The highs and the lows of the last 3 years in your presence and he was smiling throughout most of it.
Sometimes his thoughts got away with him so much he had to put the TV you had in your room on to distract him. The volume stayed on low but he had to distract himself because not getting a chance to talk to you left him wanting to wake you up and talk everything through.
But he knew you’d had a shit night’s sleep the previous day and the bump on your head had left you really tired. So he couldn’t deprive you the rest you definitely needed.
But now it was 7:36 and Matty couldn’t just lie in bed next to you anymore. He had to go do something.  
~*~*~*~
You woke up the next morning afraid to open your eyes. You were petrified.
Of course you remembered everything that had been said the night before and you knew if you opened your eyes and saw the guy you fancied beside you that your friendship at the very least would be okay. But if you opened your eyes to see an empty bed, you know you fucked it completely.
So that was why you kept your eyes closed for 5 minutes once you woke up. You could hear your TV playing music from the other side of the room so you never heard Matty breathing. But there was a reason for that.
Because when you opened your eyes, you found an empty bed.
Your heart sank and immediately tears came to your eyes. You knew you shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have told him anything.
Now you’d lost your good friend and probably the rest of the band on the way. By the time you sat up and walked into your bathroom, the tears were freely streaming down your face.
You didn’t even try to stop them. You just let them fall and got in the shower so you could cry to your heart’s content.
Your chest hurt. It hurt in a way it hadn’t for a long time because you’d not let anyone in like you’d accidentally let Matty in.
And of course he wasn’t interested in you. Why would he be?
You were no Halsey or Gabby or FKA Twigs. You were no one’s love of their life, but you thought Matty might have been yours.
It was so stupid of you to think like that.
You hoped the 20 minute shower would have been enough time to settle your heartache but apparently it wasn’t. You were still crying long after you turned the water off and you got yourself dry.
You cried as you blow dried your hair, you cried as you changed into your comfort pair of joggers (the ones you’d loaned Matty last night) and your massively baggy hoodie. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing which meant that the pressure behind your eyes started to hurt your head.
You turned the TV off but that didn’t help. So you went downstairs to get yourself a drink and some painkillers as your injury from yesterday wasn’t helping either.
But when you opened your kitchen door the bang of something hitting the worktop didn’t help either. You push the door open fully and we’re shocked to see your kitchen in an absolute state with Matty standing there in his clothes from yesterday with a tray full of unbaked cookies in his hand.
“What are you doing?” The words come out of your mouth as you look at the state that your kitchen was in.
There’s baking goods everywhere and from the things that were out you couldn’t tell if he was making bread or some sort of cake. You were very confused but your curly haired friend also looked confused.
He didn’t turn to look at you as he was trying to make sure the cookies that were on the tray didn’t roll off as he put them in the oven. He opened up the now very hot contraption and once they were in and the door was shut he quickly put a timer on his phone to check them after a while.
“I’m trying to make you some cookies. But you know yours are always going to be better than mine because the first batch I tried I put icing sugar instead of cast-  what’s wrong?” Matty asks, finally turning to look at you.
When he did, he saw that your eyes were swollen and your cheeks were puffy and your eyes were all bloodshot. He threw the oven glove to the side not caring where it went and walked over to you, “Why are you crying?”
You withdraw then and look down away from him. The ball immediately rises back to your throat and the tears that had just briefly stopped are threatening to flow again.
“Y/N/N” Matty takes your hand so you can’t move away again.
You shake your head and look down to the ground. You just about managed to get out, “Doesn’t matter”
“Course it matters, you’re upset” Matty says but you just shake your head and don’t look at him.
But that doesn’t mean he can see the tears rolling down your cheeks.
“Come here” He says, pulling you into a hug and you truly didn’t realise how much you needed it.
You inhale a very shaky breath which hurts Matty’s heart so he asks again, running a hand up and down your back, “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”
You don’t have the energy to make up a lie so you just tell him the truth.
“You weren’t there when I woke up. I thought I lost you” You whisper but your voice comes out in a much higher octave than usual as you’re trying not to fully sob again.
Matty pulls away from the hug but keeps you close. Both his hands come up to cup your face and his thumbs brush away your tears and he says softly, “Don’t cry”
“Matty I’ve been crying for the better part of an hour, you telling me to stop won’t just make it happen” You half laugh half whine.
Your emotions were everywhere. You couldn’t believe he was still here. You still weren’t to be fair, you were half sure you were dreaming.
“You really think I would just leave you?” Matty asks with a tiny frown as he again wipes another tear away.
“Well yeah.” You shrug a little pathetically before carrying on in a pained voice, ”You don’t owe me anything. I’m just some girl you know. I’m not one important, so why would you stay?”
“Because you’re so much more than that you’ve just said.” Matty tells you honestly. His heart hurting that you thought of yourself like that.
“You don’t have to pretend.” You shake your head, ”I’m a big girl, I can handle rejection.”
Matty can’t believe you don’t get it.
“Y/N/N I’m standing in your house trying to bake you cookies, comforting you, I always flirt with you and I have done for ages… And you still think I want someone else?” Matty asks, wiping your tears away.
”No.“ Matty confirms, ”Yeah, you shocked me last night because you’ve never ever given me the slightest inkling that you liked me but when you started, it all fits Y/N.”
Matty continues to shock you with, “Why do you think I said ‘really’ yesterday when you said ‘fuck me’? I didn’t mean to say that just like you didn’t mean to say ‘not right now’.”
Matty grins as he finishes explaining, “But your you. You never let me get a word in edgeways which most of the time I love, but yesterday you didn’t let me get a chance to say that I fancy the fuck out of you.”
Your eyes go wide and you immediately shake your head, “No you don’t”
“Believe me I do.” Matty assures you, but you still don’t look like you believe him, “I don’t think you understand just how much though.”
“Because you don’t fancy me Matty. Stop trying to be nice” You shake your head and go to turn around but Mattys hand finds your hip and stops you turning.
Matty tells you honestly, “I’d say I’ve fancied you since we were out at that bar months ago and The Sound came on and you were dancing to it singing it to us.”
Matty grins as he continues, “And you did that thing I do on stage for the playing with yourself lyrics and I fully gulped. And then you pulled me up to dance with you and I loved listening and watching you sing my song at me.”
“A little narcissistic of you that Matty” You can’t help but say as you wipe away the tears that had sneaked down your eyes.
“Well it's lucky you like me anyway so I don’t even have to pretend it’s not.” Matty grins tucking a strand of your messy bed hair behind your ear. “Plus you looked really fucking good in those leather pants and you had the cutest most excited look on your face when you got me up dancing”
You giggle a little then and you half smile at him trying to make the tears stop. Matty helps with that by gently brushing his thumb over the bow sensitive skin under your eyes.
“So my beautiful and wonderful Y/N…” Matty likes the way you smile when he says that, “You need to stop crying because today I planned on wooing my best friend with cookies in exchange for a kiss and later on I was gunna get on my knees and beg my best friend to go out with me.”
You grin as you joke, “George is a lucky boy, isn’t he?”
“Shut up” Matty giggles.
You whisper a little, with a grin on your face, “Especially lucky for the get on your knees part.”
He gives you a knowing look then, but he just grins and asks, “How’s the head injury? Still making you spill your secrets I see”
You smile a little but only answer his question, “My head hurts from crying so it’s not a lot better.”
“Please stop crying.” Matty begs, ”I’d never leave you especially after that. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in bed, I just wanted to do something for you because you never got to finish making the cookies yesterday”
“You’re cute” You smile.
Matty mirrors it, “So are you.”
You smile at him and your eyes flick between both of his. He looked so gorgeous, yet so sleep deprived.
You're about to ask him about his sleep but Matty gets a question in there before you. “Can I kiss you now?”
Your eyes go wide, “No.”
“I feel vile, I’m all disgusting” You add sniffling a bit because you were all bunged up.
“Y/N you know how disgusting I am, do you really think I care?” Matty chuckles a little, again wiping away a stray tier.
You look into those gorgeous eyes and tell him, “I care”
Matty just pouts, looking down to your lips, “I wanna kiss you.”
You smile at his eagerness but softly plead, “Please wait until I’ve stopped crying.”
“Fine.” Matty says, “You win this one” and then he kisses your forehead.
You smile at the contact and Matty pulls you into a hug which you greatly appreciate. You tightly hug him back and you sort of melt into his warm body.
You feel another kiss being placed to the top of your head and you smile feeling that. “Come on Darling, gotta give you more of that truth serum” Matty says, knowing you needed more painkillers.
You giggle then but you pause when you recognise a familiar smell. You pull out of the hug and say, “Matty the cookies”
Matty immediately smelled the burning batch then too. He rushed his way over to your oven then saying, “Shit shit shit”
~*~*~*~
After the burnt cookies made it out of the oven and you helped him with a normal batch, you spent the day together. Him still looking after you like he did yesterday but this time he was overtly flirting with you all day.
You had to admit that you did love it. The fact he actually liked you back was something you were still a little shocked by but by the time you were sitting down eating your lunch together you’d talked through things a lot.
Matty had told you that he wanted to take you out later to a bar for some quiet drinks, and he said he had every intention of kissing you when he brought you back. You tried not to show how that made you feel bit Matty knew how you hid things so when he cupped your cheeks and felt how hot they were he teased you about being silently on board with the idea.
But the more you thought about actually going out with him, the more you wished it didn’t happen whilst you had a head injury. The last thing you wanted was to go out to a bar and have noisy people around you.
Matty himself was a handful sometimes and if you were honest you didn’t really want to get yourself ready to go out in public. You’d rather just stay in with the man himself.
So you thought you’d ask if he’d put a pin in the idea for now.
“Matty” You say once you come back into the lounge. As you sit yourself down on the settee beside him you ask, “You know how you said you’d get on your knees and ask me out later?”
Matty gives you a little playful grin then and answers, “Yeah?”
“Can you do that maybe in a day or two?” You ask him a little hesitantly. You also explain, “I still don’t feel all that great and I’d like to enjoy our date when we go out.”
“Thought you’d like me on my knees for you?” Matty teases a bit, shuffling himself a little closer to you.  
You’re both facing each other on the settee now. The side of your heads are resting against the back of the cushioned surface and you’re just smirking at each other.
You run your tongue over your bottom lip as his playful look continues. Despite the teasing remark though, you continue with your honesty.
“I’d probably love it a lot more when I don’t have a splitting headache and I’ve not been crying all morning.” You grin and Matty chuckles a little before resting a hand on your knee.  
“That’s fine” Matty smiles, letting his hand rub your knee soothingly. “What would you like to do instead?”
You quite liked that he didn’t want to leave despite you postponing the date. It gave you more assurance that he was still interested, even though he’d assured you several times now that he was.  
You suggest, “Netflix?”
“And chill?” Matty suggests with a teasing smirk.  
You can’t help but laugh, “We will see.”
The rest of the day surprisingly goes pretty fast. That may have been yours and Matty’s weird thing around each other though because whenever you were together it seemed like time just flew by.
You both went on a walk around the park near where you lived as a way to break up the day. It was a walk filled with Matty now being very cheeky with you and he found every excuse to put his hands on you.
The most memorable time being when you were standing in the queue at the little cafe that was there so you could get yourselves a sandwich. His arms had snaked around your waist from behind and he pulled you into him for everyone to see.
His touchiness didn’t even die down when you got to the lady who was serving. If anything he was even more attentive to you as he called you ‘Darling’ and ‘Babe’ when he was asking what food and drink you wanted.
The lady serving you seemed amused by your first ‘lovers quarrel’ over who was paying for what. Something which Matty ended up doing because he wasn’t taking no for an answer. You’d be sure to buy him something at some point to make up for it though.
But before either of you knew it you were curled up together on your settee with the lights on low as you watched your films. They weren’t anything intense, they were just shitty comedies like Zoolander and Step Brothers. Just films that you could chat over but then also pay attention to if you wanted a break from the chatting.
You don’t really know how you got into the position but in this moment in time you were curled up against Matty with your legs over his and he had his head on your shoulder as you watched the film. It was needless to say you felt so much better than you did this morning.
Maybe you should have been honest from the get go and you could have been experiencing this for a lot longer. You certainly looked forward to the cute innocent cuddles you’d have in the future as Matty had made it clear he was interested.
You must have got lost in your head for a moment though, because Matty’s lips gently meeting your neck was something that brought you straight back to reality. It was just a gentle peck which made you smile towards the TV and you just carried on playing with his hair like he’d not done anything.
But then he did it again for a little longer and then again a little bit higher up your neck. It was only when Matty carried on his little adventure that your fingers laced into his hair to encourage him.
You felt him grin into your neck then and he slowly worked his way up your neck like a teenager exploring that section of skin for the first time. You of course tilted your head to the side to give him more room and you both had a little giggle at that both being fully aware of what the other was doing.
When Matty started nipping on your neck you let your eyes close to bask in the sensations he was bringing to you. You felt like it was ten times better than what anyone else had done before, but maybe that was because you really fancied him.
Whatever the reason though, you didn’t want his lips to stop. And thankfully they didn’t.
Matty teased your neck until he was itching to kiss your lips. So much so that he silently pleaded to himself that you’d let him now your tears had long dried up.
“Can I please kiss you properly now?” Matty asks against your neck after another minute of the sweet torture.
You pull on his hair so his lips detached from your neck and when he looked up at you and his sweet brown eyes met yours. You nodded a, “Yes please”
And Matty didn’t need to be told twice.
Matty’s pillowy lips meet yours and you instantly melt. The nervousness that you felt building before every first kiss you’d ever had was gone and you let yourself enjoy it.
For Matty it was everything he hoped it would be. Your soft lips meeting for kisses every single time and when you brought your hand up to cup his face it was indication that you liked it enough for it to continue.
Your lips moved against each other’s almost cautiously as you both softly go in for the kisses you’d been starving yourselves of all day. Even though they were sweet and innocent, you couldn’t help your heart beating erratically in your chest.
You think it meant more to you because you liked him and have done for a while. Kisses like this weren’t the same as the ones you get when you were after a quick pull at a club. These meant something and the fact you were both gentle and almost hesitant with them proved that.
After a minute you both pull away, Matty pressing his forehead against yours so you could feel his curls tickle your face but you didn’t mind in the slightest. Your hands had chosen to cup his cheek and his neck so you really weren’t that fussed about his curls, if anything you welcomed them now you knew he didn’t mind you being close.
In this pause to catch your breaths you never really lost, Matty decided to tell you with a grin, “You’ll be pleased to know I definitely like you”
You giggle at that and let your fingers lace back into his curls before saying, “You’re a cheesy fucker” before you pull him in to meet your lips again.
It was less hesitant from both of you this time as the joke caused you both to smile into it a little. But it gets a little more forward after that.
They were more confident kisses this time which was slowly setting your skin on fire. And you both got that into them that the next time you knew what was going on you were leaning backwards with Matty’s lips still meeting yours meaning he was slowly trapping you between him and the settee.
Thankfully there were definitely worse places to be trapped. You would choose this form of imprisonment every time.
When Matty deepened the kiss it caused the both of you to whimper a bit. Mostly because of the way you pulled on his curls to encourage it and the fact that Matty’s hand had found your hip and he held you against him tightly.
The kisses only got braver from then on. Both of you now fully getting off on your settee with absolutely no intention of stopping anytime soon.
The only time you pause is when it’s getting a little intense for you because the lump on the back of your head was pressed into the harder part of the arm of the settee. So the next time Matty’s lips trail down your neck to allow you both to get some air, you let him know in your own sarcastic way.
“Matty” You half whine, loving the way he was kissing your neck now.
“Yes baby?” Matty asks and the pet name causes your stomach to flip. Hearing that fall from his lips in the position you were both in definitely felt good.
“I know I'm a good kisser and everything so it's not a shock I’m clouding your mind, but I had a head injury yesterday and you kissing me the way you are is pushing my head into the settee and it’s starting to hurt again.” You ramble honestly keeping your fingers tightly laced into his curls.
Matty chuckles into your neck then before placing one last kiss there for now. He then leans up and pecks your lips once more.
“Sorry baby” Matty says, pulling you up into a different position. You're straddling his hips then and Matty leans back against the settee with a grin plastered onto his lips, “This better for you?”
“Cocky little shit, aren’t you?” You laugh shaking your head at him.
Matty laughs too but he backchats, “Says you… You’re the one that just said your kisses were that good they left me with no memory”
“Well” You grin, pecking his lips teasingly once more before saying, “I’m speaking from experience”
“Come here” Matty says shaking his head, pulling you back down to him with the hand that cups your neck and you note a playful grin on his lips, “We will see whos mind goes foggy”
You end up kissing him like that for a long while just enjoying this new dynamic with each other. You had to admit to yourself that he was a really good kisser, but that shouldn’t really have surprised you, his tongue was out a lot in the Love Me video and he had it out half the time when he teased the crowd when he was on stage.
He definitely knew how to use it.
After the both of you calmed yourselves down, you cuddled yourselves up against each other much like earlier on as you carried on watching another shitty comedy. You watched them into the night again and you only noticed you half dozed off when you felt a soft kiss being pressed to your neck again.
“Matty” You murmur after feeling another lone tired kiss against the skin on your neck.
He must pick up on what you’re about to suggest because he asks, “Can I stay again?”
You nod and say, “Course”
You wanted to kiss and cuddle him for a lot longer than you already had been doing.
“Let’s go to bed, love” Matty says, picking his head up out of your neck and pecks your lips once more.
It leaves a warm feeling in your chest as you turn everything off downstairs before heading to bed.
When you get up to your room Matty’s arm travels around your waist and he hugs you into him. You lean back against him and smile at the feeling of his curls against your skin as he nuzzles himself into your neck again.
“You smell really good” He tells you before placing a kiss to the place where your neck meets your shoulder.
You grin at that, “Thanks, I think it’s just you though. All I can smell is your aftershave”
“Don’t feed the narcissism Darling” Matty spins you around then, “Take the compliment.”
You giggle before you kiss him again, this time with no hesitation at all. Your fingers lace into his curly locks and you pull on it hungrily to keep him close as he continues to walk you back into your bedroom.  
They are just playful kisses coming from the both of you. Nothing too intense at all.
You like the feeling of Matty’s arms wrapped around your lower back pulling you into his body. You like the fact that he wanted you close, because you wanted him just the same.
You both pull away giggling a little when Matty almost trips the both of you over from moving towards your bed a little too fast. But thankfully it just ends in a playful, “Need to slow down. I’d feel bad if I gave you another concussion”
“I get it… I’ve wanted to kiss you for ages
“Well you can kiss me whenever you want” Matty grins pulling you down to straddle his lap which you do.  
“Good to know” You giggle before kissing his pillowy lips again.
After a few more kisses, you’re both very aware of the tiredness creeping its way into your systems despite the new sensations you’re both getting from your lips attacking the others.
“Y/N/N, Darling, you’ve got my joggers on” Matty grins knowing that they are what you gave him to wear last night.
You grin, “You’re right” and then you get up off his lap and grab yourself some new pyjamas from your drawer.
“I can only apologise mister Healy” You say with a smirk as you push them down your legs and step out of them.
Matty wasn’t exactly expecting you to strip in front of him tonight but the fact your gorgeous legs were on display to him for a minute he didn’t stop himself from looking. Your very oversized hoodie now acts as a dress as it hides your underwear from his gaze.
Matty just couldn't take his eyes away from your legs though. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you in a skirt or a dress so actually seeing you in front of him like that just led to new thoughts circling his mind. Or his mind was until you hastily picked them up and launched the scrunched up joggers at his head.
“Ey” Matty called back playfully, holding the joggers in his hands now.
You point to your eyes and silently tell him that is where they are with a knowing grin on your lips. Matty can only press his lips together as an apology before you head to your bathroom to change again like you did the night before.
He didn’t need to get everything on the first day.
After changing and doing your nightly routine you come back to your bedroom to find Matty changed into your joggers and no top like last night and you don’t shy your eyes away from his tattoos this time when he walks past you to use the bathroom himself. Matty catches you looking but he doesn’t comment on it and at this point you don’t really care.
When he gets in bed beside you and he pulls you in to cuddle him you bring him out of his thoughts, “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Course” Matty says, not having anything to hide from you. Especially if you were going to work out in the end, and he had every intention of you both working out.  
“Do you really not try? Because I always thought you would be the opposite” You ask him curiously, more truths spilling from your lips thanks to your meds.  
Matty asks curiously, “Not try what?” brushing your hair behind your ear so he could see your cute face.
But pout, a little embarrassed, “Don’t make me say it.”
“I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.” Matty chuckles, looking at how shy you’d all of a sudden become.  
“In your song yesterday.” You say and it brings Matty a bit more clarity on what you were asking, “You said you lied and you’d never fucked in a car”
Matty grins knowing exactly what you were asking now, but he teases, “So what’s your question?”
“You know my question, why are you making me say it?” You chuckle, getting more flustered with each passing second.
Matty leans down and pecks your lips once before he tells you, “Because you’re cute when you get embarrassed.”
You sigh and whine into his neck, needing to hide when you ask, “Do you actually just lie down and not try?”
“See” Matty chuckles, “Wasn’t that hard to say, was it?”
“Just answer my question.” You whine embarrassed that your stupid fucking meds just let you ask anything under the sun.
“Why don’t you just wait and find out?” Matty giggles, pulling your out of his neck a little bit.
He found it very cute that that was the only thing you got out of his song when you were drugged up the previous day. At least you’d told him you liked it though.  
“Because I’m nervous now. I thought you’d be the opposite.” You say honestly, “And after earlier I’m confused”
“Why are you nervous?” Matty asks looking into your gorgeous Y/E/C eyes, wanting you to feel comfortable with him, “We aren’t doing anything right now.”
“I know.” You say, and then shrug, “Guess you just spoil my fantasies by saying you haven’t fucked in a car.”
“We can fuck in a car if you like?” Matty teasingly offers before leaning in to kiss you again. He mumbles against your lips, “It won’t be a fantasy then.”
You giggle at that but don’t hesitate to kiss him back. When he pulls away you keep him close and as your nose brushes against his, you suggest, “One step at a time, ey?”
Matty loves the little eskimo kiss you’re giving him enough to carry it on for a few more seconds after he nods in response to your suggestion. God you were so cute, he was very lucky that you liked him.
“Can I keep you on these drugs?” Matty questions, “They make you very truthful.”
You roll your eyes when he says, “Quite like you complimenting me and asking me questions you wouldn’t usually. It feeds the ego more.”
You giggle at that.
“Don’t really have much to hide from you anymore.” You tell him truthfully.
Matty wants a little confirmation, surprised by you saying that, “No?”
“Nope” You grin.
“I’m quite glad you like me Darling” Matty says, tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear.
“I’m glad you like me back Hun” You grin and kiss him again.
The sweet kiss lasts for a couple of seconds before Matty pulls away so you’re both cuddled against each other again now. You definitely liked being close to him and you were glad he was the cuddly type.
But then he makes a joke that makes you playfully smack his chest as you giggle. Of course, your Matty jokes, “Can’t wait to tell our kids you asked me to fuck you and then fainted”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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Of Ice and Blood
Part 4
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Welcome back! Hope you enjoy✨
Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)
Warnings: Violence, cursing, shouting, and fighting. No blood mention. Just broken bones and stuff.
2.1k+ words [originally 1.6k but I revised it and added more details!]
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 5 Part 6
Sensing another one behind me, I went low and struck his leg with mine, using his fall to punch his chin with my right fist this time, being careful to use a controlled amount of force or else the nerve I hit will result to permanent brain injury and can be fatal.
I got up, swift in my actions as I saw the guy with a raised baseball bat heading towards me from my left flank, and the other one from the right, fast.
On reflex, I leaned back, the bat that was aimed at me hitting his comrade on the shoulder instead. Guy's lucky, actually. He would have suffered internal bleeding if it bashed the side of his skull.
Four down, two to go.
I took my stance once again to ready myself. This dude was a foot taller than me, with muscles packed with raw strength, but even so, pale in comparison to Tai'chi's p—
Stop thinking that! Focus!
"Smash her head Dan!" The man behind him yelled.
This 'Dan' went straight to me with his bat raised with intent once more.
Breathe in.
Everything slowed down. I let my heart rate decelerate, my hearing sharpened, my sense of smell heightening even further.
I closed my eyes, letting the rest of my senses take over. Years of practice, days of pain from training, each motion engraved to my entire body with purpose. To defend not only myself, but also those who are looked down upon, discriminated and stepped on like dirt. My parents had always taught me to defend myself. Me. Don't get me wrong, my parents are good people, albeit wary of the other races in our community. But the moment I left the roof of my home, I knew it was time for me to defend someone other than myself. I don't give a damn about where we come from or what kind of blood flows within our veins. I will protect those who need protecting, and set anyone straight and down to the ground when they deserve it.
Breathe out.
At the last few moments, with my eyes still shut, I changed my form. I followed his aura and pictured out the shape that was drawing up to land a serious blow to my head. Dan is solid and heavy, but everyone has at least one weakness. And this guy is not spared from that.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
I opened my right fist, right foot forward and relaxed my arms, my legs serving as a firm foundation for my upper body. With the bat inches away from me, I smoothly dodged to the side, using my palm to push away the hand holding the weapon and punched a vital pressure point right under his bicep.
I bent my legs even lower and struck the center of his ribs with my thumb, closing my hands as I jabbed his sciatic nerve on each side at the same time, both located in the middle line of the thigh between the groin and the knee. A solid blow to those nerve points will cause intense pain and shock to the person, along with a temporary immobility of the feet.
a/n: Self defense 101! Remember that dear readers♥
With the support of my left leg, I went behind the man, standing straight and proud. Calm, I opened my eyes when I heard his fall, staring right into the fearful ones of the moron that started all of this.
"Y-You- You killed them!"
Is he that dumb?
"Correction, I didn't. I knocked them unconscious is all. And the fellow that attacked me first? Well, he passed out from the pain of his now funny-looking arm." I stated flatly as I trudged to where he was standing.
"S-Stay away from me! Monster! Freak!" He stumbled, his ass on the ground and away from me until he felt a tree trunk on his back.
I scoffed and withdrew my knuckle dusters back under my baggy sleeve.
"You wanna know who the real monster is?" I stopped and held him in place with my scrutinizing gaze. He was trembling like a wimp at this point.
"It's you.
"You and your disgusting racist friends.
"You, along with all the people who view and treats anyone other than humankind as lowlifes and pests that are meant to be squished and eradicated from the society.
"No, it's you, and the ones who have the same mentality as you, who are monsters under the guise of a human."
I paused, not even blinking as I bore holes into his skull.
"I am human, down to every inch of my being. But unlike you, I respect and treat everyone, regardless of kind or gender, and to those who deserve it, fair and right."
Before I could continue, I scented new people coming into the scene. It was the teaching staff, along with the uni's guard.
Shocked of what they have seen, they turned towards me, angry, surprised, confused expressions on different faces.
"What have you done?!" A female, human instructor, looking to be around her late 20s shouted.
"Ma'am, if you would just let me explain—"
"You are hereby expelled from this institution, young lady!"
All the color of my skin left me as I heard the words I have dreaded even before I set foot in the campus grounds.
"Now let's not go straight to conclusions. We need to deal with this professionally AND properly Miss Holson. You are also not in authority to suspend this student." A heavily bearded dwarven professor, clad in a brown suit and Oxfords, told her off firmly.
"What are you saying Mr. Dulrik? Look at her! Look at this! She murdered students and oh my God, is that the dean's son?!"
For the love of— she blind? Why does everybody think I killed someone???
"Ma'am they are—" I was about to tell her but got cut off, again!
"Helpmehelpmehelpme!" He scrambled away from me and ran to the group of teachers and hugged the young instructor. "I don't know what came over her! She just attacked us out of nowhere!"
The audacity of this fucking bitch!
"Pardon me? Attacked you? YOU were the one who followed me out here! You and your" —I gestured to the bodies laying flat on the ground— " buddies over there!"
"She is lying! The orc was with her and and and—"
It dawned on me that I almost forgot about Tai'chi. My eyes widened, and I frantically scanned the area around for him. And there he was, standing by the oak tree, right where I told him not to move.
He seemed...irritated?
Oh no. At me?
"I have not moved an inch from where I am standing ever since I planted my feet here." He said with his deep baritone voice, turning to confront the staff. "What she's speaking is the truth. They were the ones who followed her here and attacked her, first."
"And how can we be sure you are telling the truth, orc?" Miss Holson replied spitefully.
Even the teacher, huh? Her odor smells like vomit. I mean, I knew she was...foul, but I thought it was because of the situation. Guess not.
Tai'chi did not respond. Instead, he moved to look at me in the eyes. His gaze, searching, but not in an awful way. Was he asking me what I'll do?
"How about we discuss this in the office, shall we?" An elderly professor spoke. She was wearing the university's formal teaching uniform together with black, flat, closed toe sandals. "And Miss Holson, please quiet down. As Mr. Dulrik said, we should not jump into baseless conclusions."
Miss Holson fumed and shut her mouth, holding the coward in her arms.
"Now then, Miss...?"
"Blackbell."
The woman paused. I caught a smell of surprise and... astonishment?
She cleared her throat "Well, then Miss Blackbell, please follow us to the Dean's office, along with your, companion."
Weird.
"Oh and Mr. Smith, kindly call for assistance and take the unconscious students to the infirmary to be treated and looked unto. Thank you." She told the guard. With that, she and the rest of the faculty started walking back.
I glanced at Tai'chi once more to find him, again, staring. I approached him warily, expecting him to be mad at me.
"Uh. Hi?"
I let out a long exhale when he replied, with a slight tug of his lips, his tusk jutting out. "Hi."
I fidgeted, trying to come up with words to explain myself.
"I uh, uhm. Are you mad?"
With his brow raised, "Why would I be?"
Yeah why would he be?
"I-I never told why I keep wearing my mask." I stuttered, "You see I—"
"You two! Start moving before I force you to." A teacher yelled at us from a distance.
"We'll talk later, Pearl. For now let's get this resolved first. I know for a fact that they won't expel you unless they ignore the ill intentions of the ones who attempted to harm you first. But better be safe than sorry, he was the dean's son afterall."
"Yeah... Thanks. We should.. go." I turned and started walking along his side.
******pov shift for a bit*******
Little did Pearl know, he was thinking about how...nice, yeah that's the word, definitely not sexy, you were when he witnessed your skills in combat. It awakened something in him that it took a lot of control not to get aroused there and then, which was the real reason why he stood there, unmoving from his place. Not once did he leave his eyes from you, almost jumping to help you when the guy with the baseball bat was closer than we would have liked. But oh no, he was not surprised, he was astonished and shookt , amazed when you pulled that last technique, sending the human plummeting to the ground almost soundlessly. And the way you stood right after, he knew he was smitten. That proud and intense aura you gave off was enough to make him bow down at your feet. He could feel it. He could smell it. That was his secret, he can scent people and catch any mood shift they make. Even though he told her that her eyes and brows gave it away, it was not entirely true as he could smell, literally, you and the changes on your scent.
Oh but little did he know you could to. Just not as observant as he is.
:>
*******************************
Wow— when I copy pasted the original thing from my notes to my drafts in Tumblr I was like "okay, so. I should read it AGAIN before I post it if I wanna avoid more unnoticed mistakes and keep editing it again and again even though I posted it already! " And I never though it would lead me to adding almost a half thousand words and a pov shift— which i found interesting and really nice! Should I do it more often? Like little inserts of what Tai'chi or another characters thoughts in second pov in between fics if necessary? It's just, nice, to put them in and write all out about what they were thinking outside of Pearl's pov! Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed reading❤
Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell
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orbitariums · 4 years
Text
𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟐)
part one
hi everyone, thank you sososososooooo much for all the outreach, i really appreciate it!!! i may be making a second taglist, so look out for that if you didn’t get a chance to be added to the first one (tumblr has a tag limit but there r ways to work around it, that’s why i had a limit as well!!)
thank u for reading!! stay safe <3
taglist is closed!
playlist
word count: 7.3k
warnings: age gap, sex work, smut, dirty talk 
𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬
    Steve had never slept so well. He woke up that morning feeling like a brand new person. Rather than obsess over the meticulous, filthy details of the chat, which he knew would make him squirm now that he wasn't in the moment, he recalled the pleasure he felt and the relief he felt when he had finished. He thought about the connection he had made with you, how much he wanted to talk to you again, wanted to try another private session.
    But of course he thought about the sexual aspect of it. How could he not? He had cyber sex with a stranger, a stranger who made him come twice in the span of half an hour. A stranger who he was incredibly attracted to, both physically and personality wise. He found it hard to grasp that you were so comfortable revealing yourself in such an intimate way to strangers online, especially the way you had last night.
     And he admired it, even though it was so new to him. Because surprisingly, although he was the Captain America, quite literally the face of America, he could never be as bold as you -- sure, he had shared himself with you, but he was in his comfort zone and this was new to him.
        You on the other hand, shared yourself with thousands of strangers every night. Morally, he wanted to question it - he grew up in a very conservative time period. But he couldn't, because he had taken part in it and he had so much respect for what you did... it took courage. He understood the whole female liberation thing and the fact that you were taking control of your own body. So, he loved this for you, and for everyone else who did this kind of work.
    So the morning after that rare night, he found himself thinking only of you. In the shower, while he ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, he got flashbacks to the way your robe opened as you slowly revealed your body. He felt himself get hard again, though this time he could find temporary release with just his hands, pumping himself to quick and easy release in the heat of his hot shower, throwing his head back and picturing your lips replacing his hands as he shut his eyes.
      At briefings that morning, everyone noticed Steve's change in spirit. He was less antsy, less to himself. He even smiled a few times, even looked better, like he had actually slept. It was like a few months worth of stress and an urge for intimacy had been lifted off his shoulders.
    "You look great Steve. Did you take my advice?" Tony asked after the briefing was over.
By the look on Tony's face, he already knew the answer to that question. Of course he hadn't heard Steve, the walls were soundproof (and for good reason, because if they weren't, he probably would've disturbed the whole tower), but he could sense it in how different he was acting.
    "What advice?" Natasha looked over her shoulder, curious to know.
    "Oh nothing, just guy stuff," Tony flipped his hand dismissively, and Natasha raised her brows,
    "Do I even wanna know?"
Before Steve could answer, his cheeks getting red at the idea of getting found out, Tony replied with quickness,
    "Last time I checked, I was just talking to Steve."
    "Carry on with your very important, top secret conversation," Natasha joked, narrowing her eyes curiously at Steve and Tony before leaving the room.
    "So. How was it?" Tony grinned, leaning in excitedly as he propped his legs up on the table.
     Steve went silent for a few moments, a serious look on his face before he broke out into a relaxed grin,
    "Honestly? It was amazing."
    Tony slammed his hand down on the table in victory, a big grin taking over his features,
    "Yes! That's what I'm talking about! I was hoping you'd enjoy it. I thought you might be a little prudish about it."
    Steve ignored the offhand comment and just chose to focus on the positive, nodding slowly and folding his arms over his chest,
    "I gotta thank you Stark. It definitely wasn't something I'd expect to be my thing, but I guess you learn something new about yourself everyday."
Steve surprised himself with that comment. Stark was actually right. Steve would've never in a million years thought he could be someone that would take part in anything revolving around cam girls, much less the action of masturbating with someone he hardly knew. He didn't even know it was a thing to begin with. He was both shocked, and a little anticipatory to see that he was actually learning new things about himself. He didn't expect that from him.
    "My pleasure Steve, I take pride in my work," Tony replied, referring to his "therapy." A beat passed, and Tony exchanged an expectant look with Steve, who replied with a confused face, eyebrows furrowed together.
    "What?" he asked, and Tony wiggled his eyebrows up and down.
    "You know..."
    "I don't," Steve responded, raising a questioning brow. Tony rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat,
    "The girl, genius. How was she? Who was she? What'd you do? All the details, my friend."
    Steve gulped. He had been thinking of you all morning, but he hadn't spoken about you yet, and he was kind of glad he had someone to share the details with. Out of respect for you, he didn't want to get too descriptive, but he would at least share his feelings about you.
    "Well, she was real sweet. Calls herself Moonrose Haze, such a pretty name. She's gorgeous, really enjoys what she does, which I liked about her. I really like her, you know? I think we had a real connection. I've been thinking about her."
    "Yeah well, don't get too attached. You know how that can go," Tony patted Steve's shoulder, and he nodded understandingly.
    Of course he knew that he couldn't get too attached. It could be dangerous for both you and him. For starters, you didn't know who he was for real, and he didn't need you knowing. And because he didn't know you in real life, he didn't want to get hung up on you. He already didn't have time for an actual relationship, bringing the internet into it would be a whole different thing.
    He didn't want to get too sucked into it, he didn't want to be brainwashed into feeling strongly for you before he really knew you. But he didn't feel that way at all right now - right now it was more of a feeling that he was glad to know you, glad to have made the connection he made with you. He liked you, and you were on his mind, but he wasn't obsessed, wasn't unable to think straight. He just felt nice and warm inside, that's all. It wasn't anything serious, not yet.
    "Yeah, I know. It's nothing to be worried about. I'm just glad to have met her, you know? She's so charismatic and hard working, she works two jobs outside of this one. I really like her personality. And we—" Steve cut himself off, starting to blush, unable to hide it on his fair cheeks.
     Tony leaned forward, knowing this would include the gritty details,
   "What?"
    "We..." Steve looked down as to avoid eye contact with Tony, who chased it even while Steve stared down at his shoes. "We - well - she... helped me." Steve cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed to bring up the memories that made his entire body feel as if it were on fire. He continued, "Helped me, you know... (he lowered his voice here) get off."
     "Yowza!" Tony hooted, and Steve's face could never be more red. "Steve, you truly surprise me everyday."
    "It wasn't like anything I've ever experienced before," Steve said, a bit more composed now. "I mean, it was- it was... she was incredible. I know she's a performer, but it felt so real, so intimate. And I think she enjoyed it too."
    "Wait, don't tell me she joined in on the fun," Tony raised his eyebrows, genuinely surprised, and Steve's head jerked up as he realized he had sort of revealed more details than he'd meant to.
    "Well, we-" he began stammering, but Tony just cut him off with an impressed smile.
    "My god. I would never expect it from you! Honestly, I'm proud of ya, Cap. You seem to be feeling much better now."
    "I do," Steve answered with finality, and Tony nodded.
    "Glad to see I could be of assistance. You can always come to me for these type of things you know. I've got all kinds of tricks up my sleeve."
Sure he does, Steve thought, watching as Tony walked out of the room. Now he was thinking of you once more - specifically when he would see you again.
                                                                                                                   ✺ ✺ ✺
    You started out your day not so different from Steve. You had great sleep that night, thanks to the powerful orgasm that practically lulled you to sleep, and thanks to meeting Steve. You liked him, too, thought about him with a smile on your face. You were in your apartment, a cheap, shabby apartment which you refurbished to your heart's delight, decorating with new furniture and plants however you could.
    It wasn't the most luxurious space, but at least it was yours. And it was what you could afford living on your own in California, where you were from, and paying partially for your schooling. You made good money as a cam girl, but most of that went towards school and your clothing business. You were a busy woman.
    As you logged on to girlsonfilm.com that morning to check stats and messages, you were met with memories from the night before. It was hot, sure, but you really, really liked Steve. You had lovely connections with some of your customers, but something about Steve was different. He was new, and almost naive, and had a personality you found adorable. He was mature and appropriate, and you liked that about him.
   As always, you were careful. Being a cam girl meant you had to be safe and smart. With Steve, you felt secure enough, but you were always careful with new customers. Once again, it wasn't anything serious... yet. Still, you felt a little lighter on your feet throughout that day.
     You were usually in good spirits, outgoing, determined and smiling, but today you just seemed a bit - lighter. Less worried about certain things like finances or your multiple jobs. It was your best friend, Aaliyah, who noticed the change in your demeanor. She tapped you on the shoulder as you sat in your last class of the day, which was at noon.
    "Yeah?" you asked, turning your head towards her - you had been sort of looking out into the distance beforehand, thinking all those happy thoughts that stemmed from last night with Steve.
    "Earth to YN? What's up with you, you're all... dreamy," Aaliyah hissed urgently, wanting to know everything.
     You laughed, looking down at your desk and bringing your arms together, shrugging your shoulders up and down,
    "Dude, relax. I just had really good sleep, I'm in a good mood."
    "Bitch. I know you're lying, you're my best friend of seven years and you think I can't tell when you're lying? Who has you looking so incredibly happy right now? I need to know so I can threaten them if they ever hurt you!"
     "Okay, the fact that you're already assuming it's a person is amazing," you chuckled, turning to face her, pushing your hair from your eyes.
Aaliyah knew how you felt about relationships - you weren't exactly looking for one as you were so busy to begin with, and you'd had bad experiences in the past. You pretended like they didn't hinder you, but pretending only worked for so long. But Aaliyah was always the first to ask about your relationship life anyway - she wanted to see you with somebody who would treat you right, the way you deserved.
    "Well? Is it?" Aaliyah prodded.
    "No," you shook your head a bit too strongly for Aaliyah to be convinced, and couldn't help but break into laughter at the way she glared at you, eyes narrowed and arms folded across her chest. "Okay, okay. I may or not have done a private session last night."
    "Mhm," Aaliyah lowered her voice - she was the only person who knew of your secret job, and she took your privacy very seriously.
    "Anddd, I may or may not have met a new customer," you continued slowly, Aaliyah repeating her hums. "And, we may or may not have... had sex? I don't know, it was - virtual, completely online."
    "But, you do this often," Aaliyah replied, not understanding the depth of the situation because you often engaged in sexual acts for or with your customers in private sessions.
    "Yes, but this time it was different. I felt like... I dunno, like my whole body was on fire. I felt like I was totally in control, and you know, I'm in control other times, but this guy didn't really know what he wanted, so I took the lead. And it was fucking great, I kid you not, I was shaking afterwards. It all just felt so visceral and so fucking real and so, so hot. And... it felt intimate."
     "Woah, woah, woah, this is sensory overload right now," Aaliyah raised her brows, impressed with the story and with the person you were talking about. "Intimate how?"
    "Like, I just felt really safe and connected with him. I was nervous, I wanted to keep him. I wanted to talk to him again. He was so polite and mature and so... just nice. Oh my god, and he tipped me like, hundreds. He was extremely generous."
    Aaliyah was nodding, even more impressed,
   "That's what I like to hear! What's his name? What'd he look like?"
    "His name's Steve. And, I dunno what he looked like, he had his camera off. Probably some white dude, but honestly he was very handsome sounding. So like, a handsome white dude."
You sensed a shift in Aaliyah's nature, and looked over to her.
     "What?" you whined.
    "This man couldn't even turn his camera on while you were popping pussy for him? Yet y'all had an intimate connection?" she raised her eyebrows, very straightforward.
You pouted,
     "Intimacy doesn't always have to have rules. I get a lot of customers who don't show their face. I'm sure he has his reasons. Besides, it was nice not to have a dick shoved into the camera for once."
The both of you chortled at that, but then Aaliyah went back to business.
   "No camera on? He's married with kids."
    You made a face and frowned, a crease showing up at your forehead,
    "Don't say that! I like him."
     Aaliyah let up a little, because she knew you were being serious, and leaned back in her chair.
    "You like him?" she asked, and you nodded, biting your lip,
    "Yeah."
    "You really like him?"
     You rolled your eyes,
    "Asshole, I don't really like him. I just, think he's cool. And I'm glad we met."
     "Okay, good to hear, 'cuz you don't know him and we don't wanna go too fast, girl. You've got options in real life," Aaliyah concluded, and you nodded,
    "It's nothing serious. I just like him, that's all. And last night was nice, that's why I feel so refreshed today. You don't have to worry about me. This isn't gonna become like the movie Her."
    "Ha," Aaliyah snorted, catching the reference. A beat of silence passed between the two of you, before you broke it suddenly by jerking your head to her to share an urgent detail you didn't want her to miss.
    "He fucking came twice!" you whispered loudly. "In the span of thirty minutes!"
Your eyes were wide and brazen, and your lips were pursed tight. Aaliyah blinked slowly, taking in the information.
    "Oh wow."
    "I know. And his moans, oh my god. And he said his dick size was three fingers long," you held up your hand and cusped the three fingers you had used - ring, middle, and index. "Literally huge!"
      "For your sake I hope it's true, if he's got you this hung up," Aaliyah smirked, and you laughed breathlessly, realizing how intense you had just gotten.
    "My fault. Don't mind me," you returned to your work now that class was getting started, but the two of you were consumed with giggle fits.
                                                           ✺ ✺ ✺
     Steve actually had put you down on his calendar - mentally, at least. He obviously couldn't drop everything just to spend time with you, but the late times of your shows and his current availability made him feel inclined to use his free time to share with you, at least that week. He almost tried to downplay how much he wanted to see you again, how anticipating he was, because it wasn't like him to feel excited, to smile to himself at the thought of anything.
     By the time you went on live again, on a Wednesday night, both you and Steve were filled to the brim with excitement. You wanted to talk again, and Steve wanted to see how you performed on a regular live. So that night, he took a shower, got tucked into bed like he had the last time, and signed on to girlsonfilm.com, which he typed into the browser with jittering hands. He was actually... excited. Something about this was giving him a taste of a feeling that was once rare.
    He typed in your name at the search bar, not even taking a second glance at the other livestreams on the screen (more because he was avoiding looking at so many naked bodies at once). You had already started by the time he came on, and you'd been awaiting his arrival.
    This time, your setup was different. You were in your "office", a small room in your apartment that served as a workspace for your clothing line, a homework/study area, and a place where you could do your work outside of school. But tonight, like many other nights, it operated as your cam room.
     It looked like a strip club, complete with glowing neon lights that shifted colors, an assortment of heels and alcohol bottles behind you, and a disco ball hanging above your head. There was even a sign on the wall behind you that read your name in fancy writing. You leaned forward on your laptop to see who had signed in, a smile reaching your saccharine, glossy lips as the name you were waiting for popped up on screen.
    "Steve!" you cooed girlishly, pushing your hair behind your ear subconsciously - you wanted him to see your face. "How are you?"
Steve, who was figuring out the chatroom, commented below in response, eager to hear your voice. A grin had made its way onto his face at the sound of your excitement to see him.
Steve - GrantRoberts
Hi. I'm great, how are you?
    You bit down on your lip, intoning,
    "Well, better now you're here! Guys, this is Steve, he's new here. Say hi."
     Steve skimmed past the comments from her devoted customers saying hello, and you continued with your show, seeming oodles happier now that Steve was on. You already gave it your all, now you would give your all and more.
Steve didn't even need you to do that much to sate him though - looking at your skimpy outfit was enough. You were dressed in a sheer, glittery white lace corset that highlighted all of your assets, with garters on your silky thighs to match.
    Then you were wearing these insanely long stripper heels, and boy did Steve have a thing for heels- you wearing them made him nearly salivate. Your lips were painted a sultry red and the rest of your makeup was dewy and glittery, with gems and glitter dust stuck to the sides of your eyes.
You looked ethereal, and the lucid background just made things even better. He was already hard upon looking at you, especially when you shimmied up close to the camera and showed your entire body, your hands running up your thighs and sides in slow motion.
    "You guys like my outfit?" you smirked, twirling slowly for the camera. "You know, I love being a dancer, but I get so lonely sometimes. All these guys coming through, but no one to really pleasure me. You know?"
    Steve swallowed hard. You were talking to everyone on the live, but looking directly into the camera, an intense look in your eyes. Tonight you were playing out the recurring strip club fantasy, which lots of your customers enjoyed - Steve was new to the whole thing, but he got the gist and story line right away. How could he not with how intensely he was focusing?
    You laughed a little, a sultry but brief laugh that made shivers run up Steve's spine. Right now, though you were glad Steve was there, you were in full work mode, pulling all the levers. You were focused, and Steve knew that you weren't only occupied with him. But he even liked that, liked your work ethic and your ferocity.
      "I guess I was just wondering if one of you were man enough to take me," you continued, starting to really pile on the dirty talk and the persona.
You kept showing different angles of your body, letting your customers admire you. You turned around, strutting slowly, one leg in front of the other, your heels hitting the ground. Steve's eyes widened at the shape of your ass as you faced the other way, head tilting as he admired your features.
He wasn't the kind of guy to worry about a girl's body type much, and he certainly didn't only focus on your body, but how could he not in this case? You were drawing attention to your every asset, and he was realizing just how much he liked them on you.
    Then you slowly twirled around, facing the camera again and lowering yourself down on your knees.  You pouted softly, as if you were feeling conflicted.
     "But, I haven't seen anyone here who's man enough to take care of me. I have needs too," you sighed, looking down at your nails, which, perfectly, were long and glittery acrylics. "Gosh, and the pay here is lousy. Some guys are so cheap, you wouldn't even believe it."
Kaching. Tokens being added left and right after you said that. You smirked, gazing into the camera for one minute, Steve catching your pixelated gaze, before you kept going. Steve added tokens as well, probably more than all that had been added in that moment. He was impressed by your strategies, and he knew that paying would make things progress.
    "I'm just so lonely and bored sometimes," you slowly removed the straps of your corset, revealing your chest. You ran your hands along the lace that was still over your breasts, licking your bottom lip. "Hmm. But I think I'll need more help to remove my top.
More tokens. More talking, more tokens. And soon enough, you had taken off the corset (garters left on, as per special request from many of your customers), and you were naked in front of the camera. Steve felt himself throbbing beneath his boxers, and stroked his length over the fabric.
    "Wow, you guys are great," you cooed. "And so much better than some of the other guys who come through here. But not good enough. Poor old me, looks like I'll have to pleasure myself, hmm?"
You wiggled your eyebrows up and down as comic relief while you opened and closed your legs very quickly, giving just a peek of what you knew they all wanted to see.
Ashton — asherw9 guyz, she clearly needs help spreading her legs. can we all do better? + 10 tokens
You giggled,
"Thank you Ashton. I really do need help spreading my legs for you, so I can get all nice and ready. So, tokens or bust."
Soon enough, you had them voting on toys to use as you went through an assortment. All of them were glass dildos with different designs. Each vote was a certain amount of tokens, and they eventually came to a consensus. Steve only voted so he could pay you, he had no idea what he actually wanted to see, nor any idea of how dildos differed from one another.
You smiled when you saw that he had voted, raising your brows at the option he had chosen,
     "Steve, you naughty boy. You wanna see me use the biggest one?" Steve blushed— he didn't know any better. But you were smiling, and reading the other options. "It looks like a lot of you wanna see me use the big one. I'll give you like, another minute to decide."
     A flood of votes came in and you read them over, smiling as you held up the biggest option.
     "This one it is!"
And there you were, giving a tease show as you danced sensually on the floor, wrapping your body around as you removed the bottom half of the corset. Soon enough, your entire body was completely revealed and you were spreading your legs open, your fingers dancing along your clit as you prepared yourself. Soft but sultry music played in the background, but all Steve could hear was the sound of your progressing pants and moans, which were soft and quiet.
     He had his hand wrapped around himself, finally out of his boxers, and he was stroking at the same pace that you were circling your clit with your fingers. He spread the precum peeking out from his tip down his erect length, pumping himself slowly as he watched you. He let out a strangled moan as you diligently slid two fingers inside of yourself, your face contorting as you felt them against your walls, reaching all the right spots.
"I'm so fucking wet," you whined, pumping your fingers in and out faster now. You were even more getting tokens and comments by the minute, Steve being the best contributor as he could with only one hand available.
He felt a hint of shame pang in his chest as he realized what he was doing — pleasuring himself online to someone who was doing the same thing for the hundreds of others watching. But in your case, it was for work. For a moment, he almost felt like a perverted loser, pumping himself to you in the dark — but he bounced back after remembering who he was, and after feeling himself throb inside his hands. He wanted to be able to enjoy himself, he shouldn't make himself feel guilty about it, so long as it was rightfully done.
You sighed loudly as you transitioned from using your fingers to the dildo.
"Guys, this thing is huge," you giggled slightly, but that giggle morphed into a pleasantly surprised moan as you began to slide it inside of you. Your slick arousal coated the toy instantly, making it much easier. Your face said it all, as did the whiny pitch in your voice. "Oh fuck."
Steve couldn't control himself. He came quickly once again, but continued stroking himself as you continued. And once again, his release felt cathartic, like he was filling in something that he had long been missing, and only you could bring him to this point. He couldn't do this himself before, not without you.
He wanted so badly to be in a private room with you, to share this moment with you and only you, where you could hear his voice and he knew the two of you were alone. But he knew this would have to do for now, his hands working his cock as he watched you thrust the dildo in and out, your moans growing louder and less contained.
    You watched the dildo disappear in and out of you, slipping in with ease because of how wet you were. The sounds it made were criminal and arousing, sounds of your slick against your walls. Your mouth fell open in an o-shape as you watched how well you took it despite its size, admiring of yourself and even more turned on, pushing it deep inside of you.
"Fuck, it feels so good, I'm so fucking wet," you whined, biting down hard on your lip, closing your previously ajar mouth.
Steve watched how well you took it with eyes that were glazed over, wishing it was him instead of a glass toy, wishing he could stretch you out and be that deep inside of you. He groaned to himself, mumbling expletives as he felt his orgasm build up.
"Oh my god, I'm close," you groaned some time later. You threw your head back, bringing your hand to your clit to assist your orgasm. You had been going at it for the past fifteen minutes, putting off your orgasms until you couldn't any longer. Steve was mesmerized, fists practically clenched around himself as you brought yourself to climax. "I want you to cum with me," you moaned. "Oh fuck, yes."
Your moans nearly became shouts as you came, toes curling in your six inch heels. You tried to grip the carpet around you, but to no avail, and you found yourself coming recklessly while the dildo was still inside of you, taking it out just moments after your orgasm began.
You were dripping all down your legs and thighs, the spot on the carpet beneath you completely drenched in your arousal. Steve had came again, and again, his cock twitching and spurring at the sight of you. The longer you rode out your high, the longer Steve rode out his — and needless to say, he could keep up.
You took in deep breaths as you got caught up, leaving your legs spread for your viewers' pleasure. As per one request, you lead your fingers to your slick heat, spreading yourself open so everyone could see, a smirk on your face.
     Once Steve had come down, he decided to type something in the chat.
Steve - GrantRogers
Thank you, this was wonderful.
You snorted at Steve's response — always so polite and proper. You closed your legs and crawled up closer to the camera so they could only see your face and your upper half.
    "I hope you guys liked that. I don't think I've ever used that one before, but trust me, I will be using it again. Thanks for the suggestion," you winked. "You can join me next week for a giveaway! I'll be selling my panties, those purple butterfly ones you guys love so much?"
You watched as the comments flooded with praise and excitement, and chuckled,
     "Yeah, those. So check in next week on how to enter, rules and more. I hope you guys enjoyed today, thank you so much for being the most beloved members of my little strip club here. See you later!"
Easily, you blew a kiss to the camera, and ended the show. At first, Steve was a little bummed. He was hoping for another private session, so he could talk to you a little more. But he understood that it wouldn't be today, and started to exit out of the site until he heard a ping! notification. He looked on the upper right corner of the screen to see that he had a new message.
moonrose — moonrosehaze hey! got a minute? click the link in the chat if you do!
Steve slowly clicked the link, hoping that it was what he was expecting and not some type of scam. And luckily, it was — it rerouted him to the same link as last time, giving him the option to hide his video and only use audio. He chose that option and you showed up on screen, in a silk pajama top and shorts, still in the same room as before, just not in the act anymore. Once he saw you, he grinned, and you smiled as well when he joined.
"Hey!" you exclaimed excitedly. "How are you?"
You typically didn't do this - usually customers reached out to you, not the other way around. But just because you weren't offering private sessions tonight didn't mean you couldn't still talk to a client. Especially a client who you happened to really like. And of course, the two of you were being careful, precautions still fresh in your mind. But you were enjoying your time together so far in this excited new beginning. There were no red flags and nothing to be worried about.
Steve laughed, his voice deep and almost cloudy - after coming down from two orgasms he felt dreamlike. His voice was warm and inviting, and you felt that awfully familiar buildup of an orgasm in your stomach, though it wasn't the same. Maybe more like butterflies, except instead of just being nervous, you were both nervous and turned on.
"Hi," he crooned, feeling his cheeks warm up at the sight of you. You were so enchanting and bright, even if you were behind a screen. You had a youthful glow that made you look and feel genuinely happy and vivacious. Even after just a few days, he found himself admiring you, and not just for your sexual prowess. "I'm great, how are you? You were amazing, by the way. That was... I've never seen anything like that before."
You giggled, appreciative of his constant praise, but it raised the question,
"I can't thank you enough. You've watched porn before though, right?"
At first, you thought Steve's innocence was only unique to cam sites, but now you were starting to question just how experienced he really was with this world. He seemed to know how to tip, and tipped very well. As for talking to you, he was charming and polite thus far, so he seemed to know how to interact with women who had jobs like yours - you hoped he was this kind universally, and not just to you. You hoped you knew him, the little bit that he was showing, not just a version of him that he was pretending to be.
Steve shifted a bit, smiling shyly to himself,
"Not really... do I sound that clueless?"
"No," you giggled, shaking your head, but he could tell you were just being coy, which made him smile.
"Be honest," he prodded you, and you laughed louder,
"Yeah, a little. But don't feel bad! That's a first. Usually guys your age are well versed in this sort of thing. It's... kind of sweet. And I like that you're new to this. It makes it easier to get you excited," you veered into flirting with him again, smiling gently into the camera.
"Oh yeah?" Steve questioned playfully, and you nodded.
"Oh, for sure. Listen, I'm really tired from my show so I can't promise anything like what I just did, but if you want me to pose for you or..."
You trailed off, but Steve was quick to jump in, shaking his head. He didn't expect anything from you at the moment, although he wouldn't mind, but if you were tired, then you knew your limits, and he didn't want to push them for his own sake. He knew it was your job, but he still had his own sense of morals.
"No, no, it's okay, hon'. You worked really hard just now, don't feel pressured to do something for me just because. It's nice to just talk to you anyway, you didn't even have to do this," Steve said calmly, and you felt your heart warming more and more with every word he spoke, especially when he called you "hon" — he gave you the energy of such a kind older man.
Of course Steve wanted to see something from you again - of course he'd cherish it, die for it. But he had been sated for the night, and talking to you was enough. Still in the back of his mind he questioned whether he should be talking to you like this at all - it was the second night you had spoken. But he pushed those doubts to the back of his mind for now - not now Steve, not now, he thought.
"Aww, thank you," you pouted out of happiness and appreciation.
    He acknowledged how hard you worked, and the fact that it was hard work. And he didn't have to be so gracious about it, so appreciative and the way he was. You were almost glad he just wanted to talk, even though you would've been willing to at least pose for him or dirty talk him to climax once again. What you'd do to hear his moans and hear his gruff voice in particular.
You continued,
     "I'm... I'm glad you liked the show. I'm glad you came, honestly. I know we've only talked once but I like you. I feel like we connected immediately."
Steve felt an unfamiliar pang in his chest that he brushed off as the typical butterflies that were spreading. He already addressed that this entire thing made him nervous in general, but he didn't think anything more of it.
"We did. Somehow, someway," he chuckled a bit awkwardly, and you smiled at his shy nature. "I'm— I'm really glad I came to. I was looking forward to this."
"So how was your day?"
"Honestly? I've been so much better since the last time. I mean, you really helped out. I feel like..." Steve took a deep sigh. "Like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders, y'know? What about you?"
"I know the feeling. I sort of felt the same way. Huh. Gosh, it's weird, it's not like we're-" you decided not to finish your own sentence, laughing as you brushed it off as silly. "Anyway. Today was great. Yeah."
"Yeah? You uh... take any classes today?" Steve asked, recalling how you told him about your life as a student and as an artist. He cringed internally at how awkward he was being. There was still that spark, but the two of you were both resisting conversation because you didn't want to face the reality of establishing a relationship with each other, even if it was just client to camgirl. It felt more personal. "I'm sorry," he chuckled to himself. "I'm not great with small talk."
"I mean, I'm sure - if I were a scientist, I'd want to be talking about, like, I don't know - nuclear physics. Environmental studies doesn't quite feel like your area of science," you giggled, and Steve remembered (though he hadn't forgotten) how he had passed himself off as a scientist. Maybe more of a scientific experiment, but it couldn't hurt to say he was a scientist, could it? He was surrounded by them after all.
Steve laughed, shaking his head,
"You'd be surprised how much I don't wanna talk about nuclear physics half the time. Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah," you propped yourself up, wanting to know what he wanted to know about you.
"You like this, right? Like, being, well-"
"A cam girl?" you furrowed your brows together and laughed, shaking your head playfully. "You can say it, don't worry, I don't bite. But uh, wow, I guess no one's really ever asked me that on here. I do, actually. I think a lot of girls on here like this job, but I really love it. It feels liberating, which is great. But it also pays my bills. So it's a balance between the two. I can kind of be whoever I want on here."
"So in real life, Moonrose is... not a thing," Steve concluded, and you shifted. "If you don't mind me asking." He just wanted to understand the dynamics of this job, how you worked the ins and outs - almost like an agent. You weren't that different from his colleagues.
Usually you'd be a bit more hesitant to answer such a question, but Steve made you feel comfortable.
"It's perfectly okay. I'm still the same girl, you know? So it's very much a thing, it feels like Moonrose is... a part of me. But it's just not the same way it feels on here, if that makes sense. It's an act, but it's really... just me."
"I like that. And I like that you enjoy your job."
"Now, can I ask you a question?"
A pause, then Steve answered. It couldn't be that bad.
"Sure," he nodded.
"Okay," you bit down on your lip. "What made you choose me?"
      You hated that question - "what made you choose me?" It left a bitter taste in your mouth. So many times, in your relationships in real life, you felt like you had to ask that question to get reassurance. To feel supported. But with Steve, it was obviously different. And right now, asking that question didn't feel so bad. You didn't feel like because he chose you, you were special. You felt like you were special before he even chose you.
Steve grinned,
"Honestly, I had been scrolling for a while, but none of the other girls stood out for me. And I came across you and you were smiling and you seemed happy. You talked to your customers like they were your fans. You just made it look so charming and graceful. It felt genuine."
"Thanks, I try. Well, I'm glad we crossed paths. It's nice talking to you, even if it's not for a private cam. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable, doing this-"
"No, no, not at all. I was hoping I'd get to talk to you too, so."
"Oh," you chuckled— you nearly snorted, pushing your hair back and laughing in tandem with Steve. Your awkward moments together were actually fitting and charming, and didn't feel "awkward" at all. You presented as confident, sexy and seductive Moonrose, but Steve brought out the dork in you, made you feel less like Moonrose and more like YN, in the best way ever. "Cool."
Steve liked this. He reveled in the quiet for a moment, just looking at you, your skin glowing, teeth showing when you smiled, everything about you was evocative. But he looked at the time, realizing he had briefings in the morning.
"Well, unfortunately, it looks like I gotta go. Got... labs in the morning, and stuff."
"Oh, yeah for sure, no, go ahead. Gotta get your sleep."
"You too," he encouraged you, almost like a protective figure. "Get some rest."
"Thanks." You took in a deep breath and took the leap you'd been wanting to take the whole call. You loved talking to Steve, but you had been thinking about what Aaliyah had said. You didn't feel as bothered by it as she had, but you figured it was worth a try. You could see if anything would change. And maybe it wasn't an "appropriate" statement, but you were taking a leap of faith. "Wish I could see you. You know, through your camera?"
At first, Steve's heart dropped. He definitely couldn't commit to that. But he knew it was fine, he didn't have to commit to anything at all. He just chuckled,
"Oh, not this time."
You nodded gently, understanding. It was like you told Aaliyah, plenty of customers didn't use their cameras. But you wished you could see Steve, see the face that matched that enchanting voice and those lovely words.
"I understand. Well, I'll see you... or, hear you, next time?"
"Yeah, doll. See you."
And with that, he ended the session, and closed his laptop. Much to think about. And all of it revolved around you.
ahh how are we feeling!! i made their dialogue a leeetle bit awkward bc i didn’t wanna make it super mushy. it’ll be slow burn but not agonizingly slow jus wait on itttt!!! let me know your reactions!!! tags will be linked in a reblog :)
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Text
first time ~ machine gun kelly
part one
word count: 1532
request?: yes!
“I just discovered your tumblr and I’m already obsessed especially with the MGK smuts! Do you have a second part to ‘kissing lessons’ where Colson actually does take readers virginity? If not could you please write one!?”
description: in which, after being her first kiss, her best friend takes her virginity
pairing: teenage!machine gun kelly x female!reader
warnings: swearing, smut
masterlist
Tumblr media
I smiled at my parents as they kept giving me reminders that they had given me multiple times. I was nearly bouncing with excitement to get them out the door finally. I tried not to seem too excited when they finally got into their car and started driving off.
I texted Colson almost immediately after they left to let him know that I had the house to myself, then I went to prepare. There wasn’t really much to do - I was already shaved, showered, and my room was clean, but I felt like I had to go over my room once more to make sure everything was perfect.
Would we even do it in my room? Maybe he’d want to do it in the living room instead. That would be hot, to lose my virginity on the couch that my parents sat on? That’d be a dirty little secret to keep.
No, Colson wasn’t like that. He had been saying all week how he was going to make my night special. We’d definitely go back to my room right?
Why was I overthinking this so much? It was just sex, sex isn’t that big of a deal. Unless it’s with your best friend, of course.
The sound of the door knocking brought me out of my trance. I tried to be cool as I approached the door, but I couldn’t help but walk so quickly to answer it. Colson stood there, wearing his signature white t-shirt and jeans, leaning against the doorway. He smiled at me and, before I could greet him, caught my lips in a kiss. I immediately melted against him, taking him all in as much as I could.
Our kiss was short lived as Colson managed to peel himself away from me. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I responded, a smile on my face. “Come in.”
He entered and I closed the door behind him. We both headed straight to my bedroom, like I figured we would. My heart was pounding in my chest as we closed the door behind us.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked as we sat on my bed. “It’s a pretty big step.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m just a little nervous because I’m not sure what to expect, but there’s no one else I’d like to lose my virginity to.”
Colson smiled and kissed me again. He guided me so I was laying on my back and he was hovering over me. One hand ran down my side and slipped under my shirt. He left a trail of goosebumps everywhere he touched. His fingers hesitated just under my bra, waiting to get the okay from me. I propped myself up briefly to pull my shirt over my head and unclasp my bra, leaving my chest bare for Colson to look at.
His hand cupped my breast and I couldn’t help the slight moan that slipped from my mouth as he did so. I rested my head back on the pillow again and felt myself begin to tremble with anticipation as Colson began to kiss over my exposed skin.
“I have to warn you,” he started, “there is a likeliness that it’ll hurt, and you may bleed a little. If you’re uncomfortable, please tell me and we’ll stop right away. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I nodded. I always knew that there was a chance losing my virginity would hurt, they tell you that in health class (sometimes, depending on how good of a sex ed teacher you have), but for a long time I felt like I probably would never lose my virginity. It was weird to think it was actually about to happen.
Colson kissed me from my neck, down my chest, stopping to give my breasts extra attention, before continuing down my stomach. He tugged at my pants but stopped again to make sure I was okay with it. I smiled and nodded, running my hands through his hair. He tugged my pants and my underwear down over my legs and shocked me by attaching his lips to my core. I gasped and let out a moan as I pressed my head back against the pillow.
It was an intense, pleasurable feeling. My toes were curling and I had a fist full of the sheets beneath me. I was shaking with pleasure when Colson stopped and kissed up my body again, pressing his lips gently against mine.
He pulled away long enough to start taking his clothes off. I couldn’t help but stare as he pulled his jeans and boxers down, allowing his erection to pop free. While I wasn’t exactly too experienced with anything sexual, I knew for sure that Colson was big.
He got a condom from his pants pocket before discarding them onto the floor. He looked at me before opening it. “This is your last chance to say if your mind has changed. I won’t push you if you don’t want to go any further.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and raised an eyebrow at him. “Colson, do you want to continue? If you don’t, that’s okay.”
“No, I do. You really don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do this, but I don’t want to push you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
Instead of responding, I put one hand on the back of his neck and pulled his lips to mine. I kissed him deeply and passionately. That was enough of an answer for him, as he broke away long enough to put the condom on and line himself up with my entrance.
I winced slightly as he pushed himself in me. He was right, it was a little painful. He took his time as to not hurt me too much, and waited until I was ready before he began to slowly start thrusting. It hurt a little at first, but it didn’t take long for the pain to turn to pleasure.
Colson wrapped his arms under my body to hold me closer to him as he lowered his face into my neck and began to leave sweet kisses. It didn’t take him long to find the spot that really made me moan, and he began to kiss and suck there until I was a moaning mess.
I curled my fingers into Colson’s back, most definitely leaving marks there, but he didn’t seem to mind too much. Part of me was a little excited to see what marks he was leaving on me, or would leave on me. It felt like I was being marked as his, like wherever I went everyone would know that I was Colson’s girl.
I felt a feeling beginning to build inside of me. I opened my mouth to tell Colson I was close, when suddenly I felt myself climaxing and my words turned to loud moans with Colson’s name slipping from my mouth between moans. Colson grunted in my ear as his thrusts became quicker for just a moment, followed by the feeling of him pulsating inside of me. The sounds of his moans turning to whimpers as he held me tightly told me that he had finished as well.
We laid tangled together for some time. Colson’s head was buried in my shoulder as he breathed heavily. I held him close to me, trailing kisses over what exposed skin I could reach. I tried not to whimper as he pulled away from me, slowly slipping himself out of me. He disposed of the condom in a way that my parents wouldn’t accidentally find it before climbing back into my bed next to me, pulling me into his arms to cuddle.
“How was that?” he asked, running his fingers up and down my arm. “Was it everything you could’ve ever imagine?”
I chuckled. “And then some. It felt really good.”
“And you don’t regret that it was me?”
I looked up at him. “Why do you keep asking that? Of course I don’t regret that it was you. I wanted to lose my virginity to you, and I’ll never regret it no matter what.”
Colson sighed. “I just...I don’t want you to regret this, or the kiss, because I’m afraid that if you will, you’ll stop being friends with me. I don’t care if you’re in my life romantically or otherwise, but I can’t stand the thought of losing you all together.”
I sat up to look at Colson. “You’re not going to lose me. I don’t regret anything that we’ve done. I want to be your girlfriend, I want to be able to kiss you and cuddle you and have sex with you. Even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t stop being your friends because we had sex or because we kissed. I’ll always be in your life, Colson, as long as you want me to be.”
He smiled and took my face in his hand and kissed me gently. I rested myself against him again, cuddling into his side as he traced circles in my back. We laid in silence for some time, just taking in each other’s presence, and I really wouldn’t have it any other way.
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battle-of-alberta · 3 years
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Battle of Alberta 2021 Survey Results
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It’s time!
Quick Summary:
An average BoAB reader is female, age 19-24, and Canadian. Some of you live in Alberta but a bigger chunk of you don’t, and of those that live in Alberta most of you live in or around Edmonton or one of the other two bigger cities.
Most of you found my blog through IAMP or one of my other blogs, most of you all are here for art, jokes and stories, and most of you enjoyed answered asks, illustrations, and character profiles this year. Generally, people are most anticipating more gag comics, asks, and historical stories for the coming year.
Ed and Cal are deadlocked in a tie for favourite character, and most of you are looking to see more of Mac or the Paranormal Trio of small towns followed by Ed and Cal. 
More specifics and the winner of the Battle of Alberta this year below... thanks for participating :D
Demographics
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Consistently the main readership of the blog is female, but for the first time there’s some male readership represented! Howdy, fellas.
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The biggest age group represented is what I think of as “undergrad”, which is quite pleasing to me. Either the readership is sticking around as they age or maybe I’m just attracting different readership than before. Either way, welcome everyone!
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Most readers identify as Canadian, with the rest evenly split between North Americans and readers from elsewhere in the world.
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Of those, most readers identify as Albertan, though they are still evenly matched by those who have never set foot in the province.
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Of those who have lived in Alberta, most readers live in Edmonton. This is probably skewed somewhat by my own bias because myself and most of my friends are from Edmonton :’) I try to keep this blog from careening straight into an Edmonton-centric blog, but it pleases me that at least someone is going to get my weird references.
Blog
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Most of you found this blog by following my other blogs or via the I Am Matthewian Project, which is also very unsurprising. I’m always baffled by the rest of you, but I attribute that to happy accidents of tumblr’s broken search.
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I’m so flattered that most of you follow for the art followed by the jokes and stories, I am going to continue to work hard on improving those things in the coming year :) I am now quite comfortable with the basics of CSP, so this year I am going to start applying a bit more of my own style and trying new things.
I also realize that I do sort of skirt around a lot of the history despite spending so much time studying it, it’s always a struggle to think about how to communicate it but I will be working on that a bit more.
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Answered asks were by far your favourite category this year, and I’m happy to say I still have a decent chunk of them to get through. I will also be working a bit more on character timelines because it’ll be helpful for approaching more historical stories.
I guess it’s interesting because while I did start this as an ask blog, I have always been more concerned with my own directions and always worried that I’d be unable to answer asks well enough to entertain anyone, so I’m glad!
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I’m also unsurprised that everyone’s thirsty for humour in this Very Trying Time, and even when developing my current part-historical-mostly-current storyline chapter I’m trying my best to incorporate a bit more humour and slapstick for you :) And I do love that meta stuff, it’s just been a challenge to strike a balance between kind of supernatural and also logistical questions.
Characters
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I forced you guys to only pick one favourite character. Ed and Cal are deadlocked for first place with a very tight three-way race for second (Red, Lilith, and Mac). Veeeery interesting, I always suspect hometown-loyalty plays a role in this answer but I’m curious to know how you pick a favourite otherwise!
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You know what’s funny, I have “favourite character is background character” syndrome myself and yet I’m still completely shocked at the results. I’m happy to say that one of the top results is going to get their wish soon. (Also apologies: I completely forgot to add Eleanor to the answers until halfway through the month)
Of course, I’m also always happy to oblige with more hyper-local stuff about Ed now that I’m back in Edmonton for the first time since before creating this blog.
[But who is Orson... any guesses] [How did you know... that there’s a drawing of him on my fridge, just waiting to star on this blog...]
(and why are yall SO THIRSTY for mac i want to know) (DON’T YOU KNOW HE HAS A STICKY PATCH ON HIS KITCHEN FLOOR HE JUST DOESN’T STEP ON INSTEAD OF CLEANING)
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This year the Battle of Alberta was cancelled as the majority of respondents voted for the swarm of norwegian rats at the saskatchewan border to overwhelm the rat patrol and take over the province in order to save us from our completely incompetent leadership (whoever responded “J*son K*nney” for Other, come meet me in the WEM parking lot outside the ghost of Target. I just want to talk.)
Miscellany
( I scrapped the UQuiz question because it was poorly thought out. I’ll just have to make one p: )
Thank you everyone who took a little extra time to write me a note about what you think of the blog, I’m so happy you’re enjoying it and like considering the implications of the “universe” i’ve expanded and created. It’s really inspired me to think more seriously about my mission/vision and approach to creating this stuff now that I’m back home And that we are in worse shit than ever before.
This blog is kind of how I cope, but I have always envisioned it as something to inspire and encourage other people to think positively, to imagine and to create a better future. It’s hard for just me to do on my own, but even if I can just make you guys think twice before writing off this hellhole and moving to BC, it’s an improvement.
Thanks for filling this out, I will take these results to heart as I hibernate on the west coast briefly for Thanksgiving and start to plan the blog’s direction for the coming year.
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Royalty
Fandom: The Irregulars
Pairing: Billy x female!OC, Leopold x Bea, unrequited Leopold x female!OC
WC: 17k (You can also find it on ao3 here)
Summary: Mary-Belle has always been like family to Leopold. The only one who stuck by his side and rather stayed inside with him than to go outside. That was, until he decided to leave the palace for an adventure and found new friends there, a new family. But, of course, Mary-Belle was still worrying about her friend, the one she had been in love with for years. She watched as he fell in love with Beatrice and still tried to keep him out of trouble, getting pulled into it herself by doing so. With the end of the world near she tries her best.
A/N: This has taken me so long to write and it's the longest one-shot I've ever written. I put a lot of work into this and I hope you guys like it as it is my little baby xD I also posted this on ao3 and linked it above since reading longer stuff on tumblr can be a pain. So, Enjoy!
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Whenever she moved through the castle, Mary-Belle carried herself with grace. Her back straight, her head held high, so as to proclaim her status without uttering a single word. Nobody stopped her on her way to Prince Leopold’s room. Somebody knocked on the door for her when she came to a stop in front of it. It was opened right away for her to enter. She gave the servant a small nod in thanks. They knew not to enter after her, so as soon as she was in the room the door was closed behind her.
“You’re back,” she spoke the obvious. Leopold was standing in front of the mirror that looked just as expensive as anything else in the room. He met her gaze through the reflection. She had moved to the middle of the room, hands on her hips and eyes glued to him. He let out a sigh and gave up on arranging his clothes before turning around, feeling the whole weight of her disapproving stare. “You can’t keep disappearing on me. I don’t care if you run away from your family, but not me. You tell me where you go. I worry too, you know. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” She had stepped closer, her hands on his coat, adjusting it to sit right with harsh movements.
“I know, Mary. I’m sorry.” Her touches got softer adjusting his collar before she took a step back when he looked presentable. “But you don’t have to worry. They probably hate me for leaving again and there’s no way I can go back with the soiree taking place tonight.”
She went to sit on the sofa by the foot of his bed, patting the spot next to her, so that he would sit down as well. “Tell me what happened since the last time we saw each other.” So, he sat next to her and told her about the woman who had stolen people’s teeth and tried to assassinate the duke of Winchester and about the mansion they were trapped in and the tarot cards. “If you were anyone else, I would not believe these stories at all,” she laughed softly. Stories about magic certainly were quite unbelievable. On the other hand, the danger Leopold seemed to be putting himself in was very real and believable. “Is there anything else?” She knew that there was. Having known him since childhood she had learned how to read him like an open book. All his mannerism and quirks, she knew about.
“I kissed Bea.” She ignored the way her way heart seemed to constrict at the statement. The way he smiled and the gleam in his eyes let her know everything she needed. The girl, who she had hoped would just be of short interest to him, had made its way into his heart and taken it over. There was no way now for her to find her place there. So instead, she smiled and placed her hand on his arm reassuringly. “But right after, I left. I heard the bells and was about to be late for the weekly breakfast with my mother. I did miss it actually and now Daimler is onto me. He’s the one who talked to my mother, so that I would be allowed to go to Louise’ birthday soiree. All that so he can keep an eye on me.”
“You are helpless, Leo,” announced Mary-Belle. “You cannot kiss a girl and then just leave. Imagine how she must feel.” His gaze moved to the floor. His thoughts had been about how he would make it back in time and not how Bea would be feeling in this moment. He wanted to hit his head for his ignorance. “But there is nothing you can do about it now. Let’s just enjoy the soiree. You might actually like it.” She stood and walked towards the door, not waiting for Leopold. He would need another moment to gather his thoughts before he would attend, so she made her way down to the room by herself where everyone already appeared to be having a good time. There were couples dancing and people talking. A lively atmosphere filled the room. A servant offered her a glass. She lifted it off the tray, her gloved fingers gently holding on to it. The sweetly bitter taste filled her mouth when she took a sip. It took some getting used to before she actually enjoyed the drink.
Rather quickly she was able to find Louise between all these people and made her way over to the girl to wish her a happy birthday and talk to her. “Have you seen Leopold’s entrance? He is already rather popular,” noticed Louise, gesturing towards the dance floor where Leopold held a blonde girl close while they swayed to the music. Mary-Belle hadn’t even realized he was present. “Although he does appear to be a rather inept dancer. I thought the two of you had practiced.”
“Ever since we were little, yes,” confirmed Mary-Belle, “his thoughts are elsewhere tonight which seems to be translating into his dancing. He is quite competent at other times.” The two girls watched as Leopold once again stepped on his dancing partner’s feet, but fortunately the song came to a close and they moved off the dance floor. He apparently didn’t lose his appeal to the girl either since she led him over to a group of people and introduced him. “He seems to be doing well enough for himself,” she pointed out.
Louise agreed before her attention was taken up by another person. “Oh, I almost forgot, there was someone I wanted to introduce you to.” She grabbed Mary’s hand and pulled her along past the group Leopold was sitting with, coming to a stop in front of two men. They were quite handsome but didn’t seem to have much to offer other than that. They appeared to have grown up with the idea that having good looks made a personality unnecessary. She entertained them for a little while for Louise’ sake before she wandered off on her own.
She noticed Leopold leaving the room with the girl he had been dancing with. She considered following them but decided against it and let herself get distracted by her surroundings. Louise got ahold of her again, pulling her to another couple of girls whose behavior was already influenced by the alcohol. They were laughing loudly, holding each other up while they filled Louise and Mary-Belle in about Eleanor Margot, the girl Leopold had been spending his evening with. Like how she only cared for herself. A trait she shared with many people present tonight. It came with the upbringing.
But when Eleanor Margot returned, Leo wasn’t by her side anymore. An uneasy feeling filled Mary, so she excused herself and approached Eleanor. “Where is Leopold?”
“I don’t know,” she answered. “I left him upstairs somewhere.” She waved her hand dismissively, rolled her eyes and turned away from Mary-Belle who was equally as irritated by the short exchange. Making her way upstairs to look for Leopold she passed some people who had separated themselves from the happenings of the soiree and a passed-out girl. She checked one room that was being occupied by a couple that didn’t even realize someone had entered. She quickly left.
The next room was barely illuminated. She entered cautiously but there were no noises coming from the direction of the bed this time. But, through the thin curtains hung in front of the windows she could make out two figures out on the balcony. Curiosity took over. When she came to a halt in front of the window, she moved the curtain slightly, just enough to look through the opening, but hopefully not enough to be noticed. On the balcony, Leopold and Daimler were in the middle of what looked like a very intense conversation with Leo standing on the other side of the railing.
Before she fully realized what was happening Leo had jumped. A shocked gasp escaped her. She moved away from the window, the curtain slipping from her hand. Her shaking hands came up to cover her mouth. What had he done? She hurried to the door to the balcony. Daimler was already gone and when she looked down, Leopold was nowhere to be seen either. She hoped he was alright, that he hadn’t hurt himself and was on the way to his friends. She would have to go look for him herself to make sure of it, but for now she would return home. Too many thoughts filled her head, worries about Leo’s wellbeing.
She made straight for the doors, taking one of the awaiting carriages and drove home. As she looked out onto the streets of London her thoughts were on Leo who had to be out there somewhere. Once again, he had left her without a word. It had been just by coincidence she had seen it happen. She didn’t want to think that she would never be as important to him as Beatrice and his new friends were even though they had known each other almost all their lives and he had just met them. It hurt too much, so she pushed that thought away. She wouldn’t think that way. She would find Leo and he would have a reasonable explanation for it all. Or at least she hoped he did.
Her plans to look for Leopold had to be moved to the day after because after waking up the next morning her mother announced that Mary-Belle had to accompany her. It was a rather annoying thought to be stuck by her mother’s side all day when she could be out. She’d rather use the day to find Leopold than to attend boring meetings with other ladies who would just end up talking about themselves, their husbands or their children. But she complied. They went to a tea house first. If she weren’t as worried, she might have actually enjoyed it. The place was quaint with only a few tables for guests to sit down, the food looked delicious and the tea smelled even more so. The woman who served them the tea always had a friendly smile on her round face that put Mary-Belle at ease. She was quite certain that that woman would provide better company than her current one. But she couldn’t leave. It would put a bad reputation on her family. How ironic life could be. That she had more sense for keeping up her family name than Leopold did. And he was the Prince of England! If she were more like him, she’d just stand up, walk out and search the streets until she found her friend.
She stayed. She stayed and listened to the conversations that were always the same with a small smile on her face that was as fake as the friendship between her mother and the other women present. When appropriate she chuckled. When it was expected of her, she told an anecdote that didn’t happen the way she said but that didn’t matter. Not to these people. Not to her. She could come up with anything as long as it was a story that fit the picture her family painted of themselves in public and what was demanded of her.
The sun was already setting when they returned home. Going out now would be a lost cause. She wouldn’t find anything, even if she didn’t get lost. It had to wait until tomorrow. Maybe she could study a map. Her father had to have some of them. She would ask at the dinner table. Most of the time she got what she wanted, so she was hopeful. It might make it easier to find Leo. And, like she had expected, her father let her into his study after dinner, rolling out a map on the desk. He asked her what she needed it for, but she waved him off with the explanation that she was just curious about London’s infrastructure which – even in her ears – sounded like a weak excuse, but her father believed her. He left her alone with the words that she can stay there as long as she wanted. She just had to be careful and put everything away when she was done.
When the door closed, she allowed herself to relax a bit more. She wasn’t exactly sure how the map would help her now, but she had hope. Leopold did mention some stuff when he told her about his new friends, so she just had to look for some of those markers. It couldn’t be that hard to do. She could find the cellar somehow, she was certain.
The Duck and Quiver. That’s what she needed to look out for. It had to be around here somewhere. She had followed the roads the map had told her to take and she was sure she was in the right place. She had to be. She took a turn to get off Baker Street. It was already a lot different from the environment she was used to, but it was oddly nice. The way the people interacted here out in the streets felt a lot more genuine than she’d ever experienced with people of the royal court. A man was shouting at another, shoving him before they both broke into laughter. Two women sat off to the side watching some kids kick an old can around in the middle of the street as they talked with each other with genuine smiles on their faces.
She took another turn and, in the distance, saw the sign she was looking for; the Duck and Quiver, it read. A relieved sigh left her. She had been looking all morning and finally found it. She made her way over and even before she got there, she saw Leopold. He was up on his feet, so he wasn’t hurt too badly, she concluded. He actually looked happy standing there with the crowds of people passing him.
She grabbed his arm and pulled him further to the side before he knew what was happening. But, when he saw her there, he smiled at her. “You found me!” he announced happily.
“I did! But I only went searching because I saw you jumping off the frigging balcony! Do you know how dangerous that is!” She shoved his shoulder. “I was so worried! I mean, you jumped off a bloody balcony, for fuck’s sake! I thought you wouldn’t put yourself in danger like that. We had just talked about it and then you go and do that. I can’t believe you!” She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Leopold tried the same by putting his hand on her arm but she shook it off. “Are you hurt?” she asked. For the first time she completely took in his appearance. His clothes were clean and the patches of skin she could see seemed unharmed.
“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry,” said Leopold.
“Well, I do worry because you’re my friend,” she explained, hitting him in the side this time. He hissed at the contact. His face scrunched up trying to fight the pain. “You have got to be kidding me! Leopold! You are not fine. How bad is it?”
“It’s fine, really.” She wanted to protest and look at the wound but Leopold didn’t let her speak or pull up his shirt to reveal his side. “I was hurt a little. There was no going around it, you know that. But I have been lying in bed since then to heal and it’s gotten a lot better. I can move, no problem.”
“That didn’t look like it was fine though,” she argued motioning towards his side.
“Well, yes, but you hit me! It’s fine if there is no one purposefully hitting me there. See,” He stood straight, opening his arms and jumping a little, “completely fine again.”
“Fine.” She gave in. There was no way she could convince Leo to rest anymore now. She has had to deal with his injuries before. He never stayed in bed for long. She looked around the place again, watching the people walking by, wondering if any of them were his new friends. “So, they forgave you?” She didn’t need to say which ‘they’ she was referring to for him to understand.
“They did.” He nodded. He noticed the distaste in her face, correctly assuming that it wasn’t aimed towards the people around, the place itself or his new friends. She was still mad at him for leaving. “Please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to leave like that. It was just all getting too much. That life,” He gestured towards the general direction of the castle, “it’s not what I want. I can’t keep living like that, if it means living a life of unhappiness. I wasn’t meant for that kind of life. All my life I was being locked away in the palace. It’s not what I want anymore. It wasn’t ever what I wanted, but I didn’t have a choice. I was born into that life, but now I found a way out. I found another life for myself with friends who like me for who I am and don’t just try to get close to me because of my family.”
“So, you think I’m not a real friend, that I don’t care about you and just want to spend time with you because – what, because you are the prince?” Leopold reached for her hand but was once again shaken off as she took a step back, tears collecting in her eyes out of both anger and sadness. “I was always there for you. Always. And not because of your status or your family but because of you, Leo.”
He tried again to reach out and pulled her back towards him before she could run off. “That is not what I mean. You are my friend, Mary. You are one of the few people in that place I actually care about and leaving you behind wasn’t easy. I never thought you were just there because of my status. Hell, you wouldn’t be here now if you didn’t care about me. You mean a lot to me, Mary, and me leaving that life has nothing to do with you.” He wiped the stray tear that had escaped off her cheek, his voice soft. “I told you everything about how I felt in that place, how trapped I felt. I often thought, you might even know me better than I do myself, but you can’t say stuff like that. It’s simply not true.”
“I know,” she admitted in a small voice. “I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry. And I’m happy you got out, really, and that you made things right with your friends. I’ll be here for you no matter what. You can always count on me.” She looked up at him. They both calmed down and stepped a little farther apart. The close proximity felt too intimate all of a sudden.
“Well, uhm, do you, maybe, want to meet them?” He asked, unsure of what else to say, but she shook her head no.
“No, thanks. I… should probably go home before my parents notice and everyone thinks we ran away together.” She laughed, even if she didn’t quite feel like laughing having to leave Leopold again shortly after finding him, but it was true. She had to get back. “But I will come back tomorrow, if that’s alright.” At least now she knew where to find him.
“Yes, of course!” He nodded excitedly. But then his attention was caught by something behind Mary-Belle. She turned to follow his line of sight. There stood a girl with a round face that was framed by her long dark hair. She was beautiful. By the way Leopold looked at her, that had to Beatrice. Bea, for short. Mary-Belle wouldn’t call her Bea. She didn’t know a lot about her. Leo had told her that all of them were orphans. Beatrice had a sister, but Mary-Belle had forgotten her name. And of course, Beatrice was the one Leo was in love with. She was looking right back at the pair, confusion clear on her face. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” said Mary-Belle and went in the direction of the Baker Street to find her way back from there.
“Mary-Belle!” Leopold called after her before she had gotten far. “And don’t tell anyone where I am!”
“Of course not,” she reassured him. “Just… be safe.” He promised her to be, but given what they had already experienced, he would probably not be able to keep that promise. He would try though. Or at least not tell her if he weren’t. They exchanged a last smile before they each turned towards where their life was taking place.
All the while they had been watched by Billy and Spike who had been sitting in the perfect position to see when Mary-Belle had pulled Leo to the side, catching Spike’s attention. “Hey, who’s that girl with Leo?” he asked his friend pointing towards the two of them who seemed to be arguing. Spike flinched when Leo was hit in the side, imagining the pain that must have caused him.
“I don’t know,” said Billy, taking in the situation with suspicion. “Looks like another rich girl who wouldn’t look our way twice. Just another one thinking they’re so much better than us. Just look at her.” The distaste on her face supported his argument. “Maybe he used to have something going on with her.” He shrugged. The situation interested him. Her presence alone and the way the both of them seemed to be close spoke against everything Leo had told them. When Leo cradled her face, Billy was convinced that what he had said was the truth. The way that girl looked at Leo held a lot of emotions.
“But what about Bea?” asked Spike. “I thought Leo liked her?”
“Maybe Leopold is a wanker, like I’ve been telling you guys. He doesn’t deserve Bea. Especially not like that.” He looked on, like Spike did, until they went their separate ways. “I’ll be right back,” he let Spike know before walking after her.
When Mary-Belle stepped out onto Baker Street the scenery changed immediately. Men were walking by in expensive suits and the road wasn’t as dirty. She let out a yelp when she was pulled back. A blond boy was towering over her intimidatingly, staring her down. With every step he took, she moved back, away from Baker Street and the people who might intervene in this situation. “Who are you and how do you know Leo?” he basically barked at her. Mary-Belle felt more at ease at his statement, not backing away anymore. Her searching eyes stopped to look at his face. This guy knew Leo. Not a lot of people did, so he had to be one of his friends. She hoped he was. Her change in composure didn’t go unnoticed by him which aggravated him even more. His chest heaving heavily, his fists clenched by his sides.
“I’m Mary-Belle, Leopold’s… acquaintance,” she said studying the face in front of her. His blue eyes stared right back at her. His dark-blond locks were cut short. She crossed her arms over her chest. “And you are?”
He ignored her question. “That back there didn’t look it was between acquaintances,” he argued. Mary-Belle’s eyes left his face shortly to look back to the direction she’s had her conversation with Leopold.
“I fear, that’s not any of your business. Why should I tell you anything anyway? You won’t even tell me your name.” She smirked. His face turned red, his muscles flexing. He looked a lot more intimidating like this. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe she shouldn’t have provoked him.
“What are you doing, Billy?” called Leopold’s voice. Mary-Belle let out a sigh of relief when ‘Billy’ backed away from her. She looked to where his voice came from. He was making his way over quickly, followed by Beatrice and two others. A pale girl with long dark hair that was pulled back into a braid, who she assumed must be Beatrice’ sister, and a boy with brown skin who focused on getting between Billy and Mary-Belle and talking the former down.
All eyes were on Leo and Mary-Belle when he came up to her, asking if she was alright and if Billy had hurt her. “Yes, I’m fine. I was just surprised. Not hurt or anything.”
“Who is that, Leo?”, asked Beatrice, her arms folded in front of her chest and an eyebrow raised. The other three were standing behind her as if to back her up, metaphorically and literally. Billy had seemed to calm down, but his eyes never left Mary-Belle even when Beatrice addressed Leo.
“I’m Mary-Belle.” She answered in his stead. “And I can speak for myself, thank you.” She smiled sweetly at them. “I’m a childhood friend of Leo’s.” This answer had to satisfy her because she couldn’t think of much else that wouldn’t reveal Leo’s identity this quickly but she was already thinking about a believable story. She’d stick to the truth as far as she could. It would make it easier.
“And what are you doing here, Mary-Belle?”
“Well, Beatrice,” if it affected Beatrice in any way that Mary-Belle knew her name, she didn’t show it, “I knew that Leo had run away from his home situation, so I was worried. But now that I know where he is and that he’s fine, I’ll be leaving. Which, by the way, had been my plan all along, hadn’t your friend here stopped me.” She eyed Billy up and down once more who was still looking back at her. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I’m gonna take my leave now.” Instead of going around the group to get to the street she moved straight forwards. Beatrice moved out of her way, but Billy remained where he was. She ignored it, shoving him lightly with her shoulder as she moved past him. This time they let her go, but the questioning wasn’t over. Now they focused on Leo.
“I thought you said you didn’t have any friends,” said Jessie. Her tone was not accusing in any way, just curious, different from all the looks he got from the others.
“I did say that. I lied,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. She’s the only friend I have. This is the truth, I swear. She’s the only one at home who ever really cared for me. She cares enough to know that I couldn’t stay there, that I had to get away from that life she’s a part of. That’s also why she came, to check up on me, to see if I was alright. I swear to you guys, that’s the truth. I didn’t tell you because…” He stopped for a second. Why hadn’t he told them about Mary-Belle? “If you had known that there was this person at home that cared about me like she does, you wouldn’t have let me in, we wouldn’t be the way we are now.” And he had wanted to keep her a secret. She had stuck by his side all their life. He never understood why she had decided to stay inside with him when there was so much to see outside of the palace. She did go outside, partly due to his request, but she’d always come back and tell him about what she’d seen. Even if it felt wrong, she belonged to a different part of his life. A life that didn’t fit into this group.
The others were still unconvinced, but let it go for now. He had broken their trust, but his reasoning was understandable, so they would forgive him soon. But now they had things to do. They huddled together revising the plan they had made the night before on how to efficiently shadow Watson before they started the operation.
The next day, Mary-Belle followed the same way she had taken before. Now that she knew where to find Leopold, she didn’t have to stop and overthink whether she should have taken that turn back there or the one up ahead, whether she walked in the right direction or should turn around. The streets were just as crowded as before but a familiar sight made her stop in her tracks.
Men of the castle, dressed in their uniform, were roaming the streets. As she took a closer look, she recognized one of them as Daimler who had been responsible for Leopold for as long as she could remember. They talked shortly with each other, three in total. Then they parted ways. But none of them walked back towards the castle. Rather they seemed to stroll down the streets, their gazes moving over the people. It took her a second to understand what was happening, but when she did, Mary-Belle hurried, taking a different way to get around them and to Leopold before Daimler did.
She kept looking behind her to reassure herself she had lost them or that she at least was in front of them. She had just thrown another look over her shoulder when she bumped into someone. She was about to apologize and move on when the voice of the person she had run into reached her ears. “What happened that you look so panicked, Mary-Belle?”
Leopold looked at her questioningly when she grabbed his arms and looked at him with wide eyes. “Daimler is out looking for you. I saw his men stopping people who resembled you. He’ll be here soon.” She looked back over her shoulder seeing one of Daimler’s men already down the street. “There is one of them!” She pointed him out to Leo. “I’ll distract him,” she offered. “You go hide!” Leopold thanked her quickly before he turned on his heel and ran in the other direction.
She did her best to regain her composure taking a deep breath before she moved into the path of Daimler’s man, looking as much of a fine lady as she was born to be. Her mother had taught her well. “You’re looking for Prince Leopold, have I heard correctly? Did something happen to him?” She faked a surprised gasp, leaning in conspiratorially. “Did someone take him? I had thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw him in Acton, but it seems he indeed left the palace. He must still be there. It hasn’t been long since then.” She was lucky this man didn’t recognize her as he thanked her for her help and ran off. Not even the fact that she knew of Leopold’s existence threw him off.
While that man was now going to look for Prince Leopold in the wrong part of the city, she remained in the right one. Since she didn’t know where exactly he went to hide, she walked on towards the place she had talked with him in yesterday. He wasn’t to find there either, but she recognized two of his friends standing around there. One of them was the brutish one who had rudely confronted her the day before. Billy, if she remembered correctly. The other one she hadn’t caught the name of but he was the one walking up to her now with a friendly smile on his face. “You’re Leo’s friend, aren’t you? I’m Spike! Nice to meet you! I actually wanted to apologize for this lad’s behavior yesterday.” He pointed his thumb back over his shoulder at Billy who was eyeing the two of them skeptically. He leaned in and whispered, “He can be nice too, y’know, just doesn’t show it in front of new people.” She chuckled. He seemed the type.
“I understand. I guess, I would be reluctant too if a stranger showed up all of a sudden. My name’s Mary-Belle, but you can call me Mary if you want,” she offered.
“Are you kidding me? Of course, I remembered your name. How could I forget? Grumpy over there wouldn’t shut up about you last night.” This caused a real laugh to bubble up in her throat. Spike laughed with her and led her over to mentioned Grumpy.
“Always a pleasure, Billy.” She smiled at him. His expression turned even sourer. She hadn’t known it to be possible hadn’t she seen it with her own eyes. She turned back towards Spike who seemed to be more willing to engage in a conversation with her. “Have you seen Leo by any chance? I was looking for him.”
“Haven’t seen him since he left the cellar this morning, but he’s supposed to meet us here soon. You’re welcome to wait with us.” Spike sent another one of his charming smiles her way which she returned.
“Thank you. I think I’ll do just that.” Turning towards Billy she cocked her head to the side. “So, Billy, harassed any girls already today?” Spike moved to stand between the two of them before Billy could do anything.
“Don’t you think that takes it a bit too far?”, he asked her.
“No, I don’t actually. He cornered me and wouldn’t let me go until you guys came around. That’s not alright, so no, I’m not taking it too far. I was lucky he was actually your friend and not a random person. Who knows what would’ve happened otherwise!”, she argued. Her voice remained calm, but her eyes gave away the storm of feelings inside of her. Spike looked taken aback, so was Billy. They hadn’t thought of it that way.
“I’m sorry,” was the first thing she ever heard Billy say without any menace lacing his words. Their eyes met for a moment before he looked away again and went back to being quiet.
Spike looked from one to the other, wondering if there would be any more or if she had made her point and that’s it. She didn’t say anything either. Rather she opted to lean against the wall they had been standing next to. Spike followed her move to stand next to her.
“So,” broke Mary-Belle the silence, “what have you guys been up to?” Spike and Billy shared a glance, their uncertainty about what to say evident on their faces. “Leo has told me all about the monsters, so don’t worry about that.”
“He has?”, blurted Billy.
“He has,” she confirmed. The boys shared a look, the meaning of which remained unknown to Mary-Belle, but the moment was over quickly and Spike turned towards her. Billy went back to watching the people who passed, seemingly uninterested in the conversation.
“Just boring things, really. Nothing you have to concern yourself with. But we barely know anything about you. Why don’t you tell us something?”
“There is not much to know, to be honest. I’ve lived a fairly easy life, everything dictated by my parents, much like it had been for Leo, but I always had a roof over my head and a warm bed. Whenever we were together, I felt free, like I could just be myself without having to behave the way everyone expected of me.” She stopped talking quickly, thinking back over her words and let out a chuckle. “That was probably not something one should share in their first conversation with someone. Anyways, my favorite colour is blue.”
“Oh, that’s Billy’s favourite colour as well!” Mary-Belle let out a relieved breath that Spike chose not to focus on the first part but kept the topic of conversation light. Her eyes met Billy’s for a second before he looked away again, ignoring Spike who had grabbed his shoulder. “Mine’s orange. You know, when the sun’s almost down but still colours the water. That orange.”
“I don’t even remember the last time I saw that, but it sounds nice,” she admitted. She probably had never seen that, having been held in carriages if they were out at that time. They barely went near the water either. Most of her travel was between her home and the castle.
Billy opened his mouth to add something to the conversation, but stopped himself when someone called out to Mary-Belle. Leo made his way over and asked to speak to her alone for a moment. “Thank you for keeping me company,” she said to the two boys, “both of you.” Her gaze went from Spike to Billy. Then she walked a few steps with Leo until they were out of earshot.
“Daimler found me,” he came right to the point.
“What? Then why are you here now? And not on your way back to the castle?” She tried to keep her voice calm, but failed as it was slightly raised.
“Mother wasn’t informed of me running away. He would lose his job if she knew he let me, so he won’t bother me again.”
“Are you sure? He’s smart, whether you like it or not. He will probably come up with another way to get you to come back. He knows where you are now.”
“He won’t be a problem. I know it.”
“If you say so.” She wasn’t convinced of it.
“I actually have to go now,” he noted. Over her shoulder he could see that Bea and Jessie had joined Spike and Billy and were now just waiting for him. “We will talk soon, I promise,” he adds at the hurt look that flashed across her face. She nodded and watched him go with the others.
Spike turned and waved at her as they were leaving. She raised her hand and gave him a wave as well. A small smile had made its way back onto her face. Another pair of eyes watched her before his focus was taken by Spike prodding him with his elbow.  “Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart, Billy!”
Early the next day Mary-Belle heard word that Prince Leopold was to entertain his cousin Helena with a possible marriage in the future. Her mother had mentioned all that off-handedly during breakfast, making Mary-Belle choke on her tea. “I shall meet with him afterwards.”
“I’d assume they already count on you showing up on a day like this. Just be safe, your father had mentioned rising disturbances in the streets.”
“Of course, mother. I will be on my way shortly, then.”
Now she was walking the grounds, having been too late to show Leopold off to his meeting or talk to him about what had transpired the day before and too early since he was still having tea with Helena. Her mind was racing with thoughts about what might have happened, whether Leopold had come back willingly which she doubted but it was an option. Or maybe her worries had been legitimate and Daimler had found a way.
She got distracted by a commotion ahead of her. Palace guards stormed over to a person who had seemed to have jumped the wall. She neared cautiously which turned into confident steps when she identified the person being escorted off the grounds as Spike. She held herself high to convey as much authority as possible. “Let him go!”, she ordered, her voice not giving away the nervousness she was feeling as she stood up to the guards.
“But Lady-“, one of the guards who seemed to be in charge of the rest tried to argue.
“I said to let him go. He will come with me.” The guards who held onto Spike looked from her to their superior who nodded after a moment of consideration. They reluctantly let go of Spike who dusted off his jacket and reorganized his clothes. “And now you should go back to your posts.”
“Yes, Lady Mary-Belle!” They left, but not without wary side glances at Spike whom she turned to next.
“And you, follow me!” She started walking towards the castle. Spike easily fell into step next to her.
“That was amazing! I didn’t know you had it in you to have palace guards tremble in their knees. Thank you!” He looked back over his shoulder to watch the retreating guards.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’d rather you tell me what happened yesterday that Leo is back now.” Her brain seemed to just now catch up with her actions and the fact that Spike had tried to actually break into the Buckingham Palace. “And how you knew to come here! And why you did it. You just risked imprisonment or even a death sentence! Do you realize that? A lot of bad things could have happened, hadn’t I shown up.”
“Yes, but this is important! I had to come here and get Leo. He needs to come back with me.”
“Why? What happened?” She stopped next to the door she had used to enter the gardens. Her hand was already on the handle before she put it down again. This conversation was better to be had out of earshot of nosy palace personnel.
“Didn’t he tell you?”
She shook her head no. “I didn’t get the chance to speak with him yet.”
“Some guy told Bea who Leo is. He was in the cellar when we came back yesterday. She threw Leo out after. But we need him for what’s to come. She doesn’t know I’m here, but I know it’s what needs to be done.”
“I understand. Alright, come with me. He’s doing something right now, but I will make sure he speaks with you.” She led him through the palace halls, ignoring the hushed whispers of the people they passed at the sight of him. “Why did you come alone?”
Spike hesitated. “Bea doesn’t want to see him and I don’t know where Jessie is. Her and Bea had a fight.”
“What about Billy?”
He hesitated again. “He was imprisoned because he accidentally killed Vic Collins,” he admitted.
Mary-Belle stopped abruptly. Spike almost walked into her but caught himself before he did. When she turned towards him her eyes were widened in shock. “He did what? Wait- how… wha- how do you kill someone accidentally? And who is Vic Collins?”
Spike started to feel uncomfortable under her intense gaze and with the questions. He looked around before leaning in and whispering, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” She realized they were out in the open, easy for anyone to listen in to their conversation.
“You’re right.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the next room. A quick look around told her that they were alone, so she put her attention back on Spike. “Explain!”
“Well… don’t you want to sit down?”, he asked gesturing towards the chairs standing in the middle of the room.
“No, I don’t want to fucking sit down, Spike! Tell me what happened!” Her voice came out louder than intended. She tried to compose herself again with a few deep breaths but couldn’t help the anxious thoughts of all the possible things Spike might tell her now. Even though she hadn’t been particularly friendly with Billy, she never would have thought him a killer.
“Vic Collins was the master of the workhouse Billy and the girls were at. I don’t know everything that happened to them there but it wasn’t pretty. Billy saw him the other day and then last night… I don’t know exactly what happened but he told me it was an accident. Billy hit Vic. His head hit a pile of bricks and that was it. But Vic was one of them, so even if this was an accident…” He didn’t like speaking those next words. Luckily, he didn’t have to because Mary-Belle understood him anyways.
She knew how important these people were for Leo, so she made a decision rather quickly. “Where is he being held?” Spike told her. “I will take care of it,” she promised. “Leo will get out of his meeting shortly. Until then, I will leave you in good hands.” She once again led him out of the room. He was too perplexed to say much more. She was different than what he had imagined, doing that for a person she barely knew. Billy would be surprised, he thought.
She opened the door to the room she knew Louise would be occupying. She introduced Spike to her who was already charming his way into her heart when Mary-Belle left. On her way out, he called after her to meet them at Baker Street 221B, whether she succeeded or not.
Her first stop was her father’s office. The door was adorned with a plaque announcing the name of the person within. She entered after a voice from inside told her to come in. Her father was not a scary person. He might look the way with his stern gaze and his broad-shouldered physique and if Mary-Belle didn’t know him she would certainly be intimidated by him, but the person in front of her was her father who had never shown her anything but kindness.
“Mary-Belle, what a nice surprise!” His features softened as he recognized his daughter. “What are you doing here? I thought you would be at the palace.”
“I was.” She neared the desk her father was sitting behind. It was a big one, elegant, dark, something conveying his status. “I need your help, Father.”
“What is it, Mary-Belle? Come, sit!” He came around the table and led her to sit in one of the comfortable chairs he had standing by the wall. He took a seat next to her, taking in her troubled expression. “What can I help you with?”
“There is this boy…”, she started, but was interrupted.
“Are you in love, darling?”
“No, no, that’s not it.” She had to laugh a little at the absurdity of the thought. “He is a friend of mine, but something happened. He… There was an incident. He defended himself, but while doing so the other man… he- he died. And now my friend is going to get a death sentence because he is poor and the man he killed was a master at the workhouse. But he is not at fault, Father! It was in self-defense! He does not deserve this, so I need to get him out. Please, Father, will you help me?”
Her father hummed understandingly. “That is quite the situation your friend has gotten himself into. But I might be of help. If he is important to you, he is important to me.”
“Oh, thank you, Father!” She couldn’t hold back the smile as she threw her arms around him. When she let go of him, he walked over to his desk and pulled a piece of paper out of one of the drawers. She watched as he wrote something down on it, put it in an envelope and sealed it. He did the same thing a second time, putting names on both envelopes.
“Now I need you to do something. I do not have the time to do it myself, so I’m leaving this task to you.” She nodded, already reaching out for the envelope her father held towards her. “Bring this to Governor Jameson. If he does as it says in the letter, he will give you one as well. Then this one,” he handed her the second envelope, “you bring to the Chief of Police. As well as the one you will get from Governor Jameson. It will probably not be enough, so,” he opened another drawer. Two little sacks were put onto the desk, the content clinging as they were moved, “here is some money. He may not let him out just by the words of some important people, but I know the man. He is as greedy as they come. Give him this. Save some coins to give to the ones working where your friend is being held. I can’t do any more than this, but I hope it is enough.”
“Thank you so much, Father!” She grabbed the coin bags and put them into the pockets of her skirt before she turned to leave.
“I hope you can get him out, darling. And take care!”
“Of course! I will see you tonight!” She held onto the letters as tight as she could without damaging them as she ran through the streets of London. Governor Jameson’s office was not far but the streets were rowdy. She let out a sigh of relief when she entered the house.
The governor wouldn’t speak with her right away. She was told he was in an important meeting, so she waited in the hall. Every now and then someone passed her but they usually didn’t pay attention to her. As she waited, she thought about what was happening at the palace right now, if Spike already had the chance to speak to Leopold and what he had said. Maybe he went with him. She hoped he did. From what Spike told her they needed him. He had become a part of their group. And now she had to work on getting the last member of that group back.
Now that she had time to think, the pressure she was under sank in. She was responsible for getting Billy out of jail and through that saving his life. If she failed, what other options would he have? Would it be over for him then? She didn’t like to think about that outcome. This needed to work. If not, she wouldn’t know what to do anymore.
A young man came towards her. “Governor Jameson will see you now, Miss.” He showed her the way, knocked and opened the door for her to enter.
“Ah, Lady Mary-Belle. How is your father? I would believe he has much to do with the way people seem to be acting at the moment.” The man behind the desk had a round face. He usually tried to hide his receding hairline with a hat which was now hanging from the hat stand next to the door. He invited her farther into the room before he asked what he could do for her.
“My father sent me. He gave me this letter for you,” she explained and held the envelope out to him. He took it with a smile that couldn’t quite hide his surprised expression. It was unusual for anyone to send their daughters for business purposes. He opened the envelope, intently reading the letter inside, nodding along as he read. “I see,” he muttered when he put it down. “That’s quite the dilemma. I will support this, but tell your father he owes me.” He picked up a pen and pulled a piece of paper from a drawer.
“Of course! Thank you, sir!” He quickly scribbled some lines down before he sealed the letter into an envelope. “I believe you have somewhere else to go now, so I won’t keep you any longer, but remember that this won’t come without a price.”
“Yes, thank you again, sir. I will be on my way then.” She took the envelope from him. Now that she had the letters whose content she was unfamiliar with she felt like half the work was done already, but she was unsure of how the conversation with the Chief of Police would go. He might be the biggest obstacle in her way.
Even getting an opportunity to speak with the Chief of Police turned out to be quite the deed. The whole building was bustling with people running around. There were shouts and clamoring. Everyone was restless. She tried to go about it as usual, walking up to the reception and waiting for someone to offer their help. But even behind the reception desk there was no one who spared her a second glance as they went about their business, frantically looking for things and calling people’s names. She stood there for what felt like forever just watching them ignore her. The door kept being opened and closed, the slam filling the air each time it fell shut. And each time it did, Mary-Belle jumped a little. When the loud noise of the door closing sounded again, she decided she would not wait around any longer. Since nobody paid attention to her anyways at the moment, she used it to her advantage and tried to find her way through the hallways to the one person she needed to speak with.
She never thought it would be this easy to get inside the Headquarters without being stopped, but there she was reading the signs by the doors that would tell her which room she had to enter. She blamed it on the current situation with all that negative supernatural energy or whatever it was in the air. It might’ve helped to ask more about that, but now it was too late. The thumping footsteps came and went, but they never stopped next to her.
When she finally found the right room, she was out of breath. The building was larger than it looked like from the outside. But she was also incredibly nervous. Now was the moment that would decide Billy’s future. She fumbled for the two letters in the pockets of her skirt. The paper got scrunched a little by how tightly she held onto it. This was it. This was possibly the only chance.
She knocked. She wanted to knock with force, letting the Chief know that she was no person easily intimidated, but it was a faint, polite knock. A knock in the way her mother had taught her. Still, it was heard, even over the commotion happening all around and she was asked to enter.
The midday sun illuminated the room, its rays finding their way through the big windows behind the desk the Chief was sitting behind. He watched intently as she entered, curious as to what a young girl was doing there at a time like this. “Please, sit down. What may I help you with, miss?”
She did as she was told, sitting down in one of the two chairs facing the desk. It was uncomfortable, not meant to be sat on for a long time and Mary-Belle felt utterly unwelcome even though the Chief of Police gave her a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though which were accentuated by the dark bags under them. She once again made use of the mask of confidence she put on at the palace. “Hello, sir. My name is Mary-Belle Heavensforth, daughter of Lord Aaron Heavensforth. I come to you regarding the case of a young man who is now in confinement. I may answer any question you have, but first, you should read these letters.” She handed them over, surprised at the fact that her hand was not shaking.
He broke the seal of the first letter quickly, scanning over the lines before he turned his attention to the second letter. He held one in each hand, his gaze darting from one to other, humming in acknowledgement. The content of the letters was unknown to Mary-Belle, so she had to assume her father only gave information he had known from her. He might have left out some details – the letter wasn’t long enough to have the whole story and the plea – so it was on her to fill in any information he might still need and to do anything it would take to get Billy out. “I see,” he said before he looked over the brim of the papers at her. “So, you believe this boy to be innocent.” She nodded. “Explain to me then what transpired and why you think we should let him go.” So, she gave him the story that Spike had told her, about the master at the workhouse, his history with Billy and his friends and what had happened the night Vic Collins died. “And were you there that night? Did you see it with your own eyes?”
She faltered. What was the best way to go about this? “I was not.” She chose to stick with the truth. “But,” she followed up, “I do know this boy. He would not consort to this kind of violence if he weren’t defending himself or the people he loved. And he would never kill someone with intent. In front of you, you have the testimonies of two highly educated and sophisticated men with power. They speak out for his release and vouch for him.” At least she hoped that this was what was written on those pages her father had sent with her. “I vouch for him as well even though my word might not mean much to you. I will see to it that such thing will not happen again and that you may not hear of him badly anymore.”
“It does say here that your father will see to it that the boy may be put under his supervision. I do believe that your father is a man of his word. I have not been proven to think any less of him yet.” The Chief put one of the letters down to scratch his beard in thought. “But I can’t just write you a release form for this boy out of nowhere.”
“My father had guessed you might say something like that, so he gave me this for you.” She reached into her pockets once again and pulled out one coin bag. She sat it on top of his desk, making sure the coins made a sound as she dumped it on top of his papers. He snatched it up immediately, opening it to look inside at the shiny coins.
“That is indeed a compelling argument,” he pondered. He weighed the bag in his hand eyeing the coins with great interest. “Alright, I will write a release form for this boy, but do have your father contact me again in a few days. I need to speak with him.”
“Of course.” She could barely suppress her smile. She did it! She actually did it! Billy would get out and not die by judge’s rule. She looked on as the Chief shouted for someone. The door swung open revealing a rather young-looking man. His hair was disheveled and he seemed to be just as busy as everyone else in the building.
“Please, show this young lady to our front area,” he addressed the man. Mary-Belle felt panic rush in. If he had just betrayed her, taken the money and the letters, she would have lost. She would have fought for Billy’s life without success and would have to leave him to his destiny. As much as she had thought about it, there was no other way. She would be back on the streets with no trumps up her sleeve and the impending death of a boy weighing down her heart. But, the Chief turned back towards her as she lifted herself off the chair. “I will have the letter brought to you shortly. Just wait down there and that boy will be free as soon as you get the letter to the according office. That is, if your father follows up with his promise that the boy will be put under his care. He will be responsible for the boy’s actions, so he better behave or it will be over with your father’s good standing.”
She recognized his words as they were. A threat. As easily as he could get Billy out of prison now, he could put him back and take her father down right beside him. “Yes, Sir!”
She had to wait in that front area for way too long. People passed. She watched the same people that would enter the building leave it again. A cycle that seemed to find no end and still no release letter in sight. The doubt crept in slowly again. He could just take the money and act like nothing ever happened. She would have nothing against him. And who would believe her? She had no such standing as he did. She was already thinking about how to break the news to Leo and Spike and their other friends. She wasn’t even able to do that. She was quite useless apparently. And replaceable. Leopold had shown it clearly. Each time it seemed so easy for him to leave her and just run off to his new friends and go on adventures with them. Compared to them she had nothing to offer, except for her love but even that he didn’t want.
When the letter finally arrived, given to her by the same man who had led her out of the office, she just took it without another word and left. He would probably not care enough to take the story of her rude behavior back to his superior. She had somewhere to be now and she didn’t care about other people’s opinions at the moment. She felt troubled enough, torn between her love for Leopold and the selfish wish of having him back at the palace with her, away from his new friends and the fact that they were nice people who did nothing wrong. They offered Leopold some form of family, something he couldn’t find at the palace. Something she apparently couldn’t compare to. And now one of them had his life on the line. No matter how she felt towards them she could not just let someone die who didn’t deserve it while knowing she could do something about it. And apparently, she could. Or rather her father could. For the first time ever, she realized how far connections and money could get someone. It opened doors and gave you leverage. She had always been amazed by her father. Now even more so. Even though she didn’t spend that much time with him, she’d always admired him, his hard work and how far it had gotten him.
The scene outside had changed since she had entered the building. Where before the streets seemed quite deserted and eerily quiet, there was now clamoring coming from every corner, frightened screams, angry yells, shocked cries. She dared a quick glance down the first alley she passed on her way to where Billy was held. Two men were rolling in the dirt, their shirts already speckled with blood that dripped from their respective faces. Dirt covered all their clothes as they held onto each other, throwing punches mindlessly. As long as they made contact, they seemed satisfied. She hurried to get away from there and stayed away from small alleys the rest of the way.
She was stopped right after entering the building. An arm shot out, followed by a body that moved in front of her. The burly man sneered at her. “This is no place for a little girl like you.”
She brushed over the comment, choosing to stay professional. “I am here on business,” she announced, handing over the letter from the Chief of Police. “I am to get a boy you are holding here.” He snatched the letter from her hand. He took a quick glance over the written words before he let out a groan. “Fine. Jackson,” he screamed into the room he had previously come out of, “get that orphan kid from the cell. We’re letting him go.” He didn’t seem pleased about it as he looked back at her. “You should be careful. He’s dangerous.”
“I am aware,” she answered nonchalantly before she pulled the second coin bag out of her pocket and put it into the hands of the officer. “For your troubles.” She smiled politely. His eyes narrowed onto the bag, intrigued by the weight in his hand. His demeanor changed drastically in a split second.
“Of course. It is our duty to be here for the people of London. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to work, but you will be brought to the boy shortly.” Mary-Belle refrained from rolling her eyes, but gave him a polite smile and nod instead. At least until his back was turned towards her. She doubted he would work now. He will probably go to sit down in private and count the coins in the bag.
Another man appeared in the door. “Please, follow me. He is being held in the back.” The smile on this man’s face seemed way more genuine than the old man’s. He couldn’t be more than a few years older than her. He led her down the narrow hall and down some stairs into a gloomy basement that held the cell. It was packed to the brim with all different kinds of people. She couldn’t find Billy at first glance, the many bodies obstructing her view. The man, Jackson, walked over to the guard by the door telling him what was about to happen. His eyes wandered over to her figure shortly before looking back at Jackson and narrowing his eyes. It took him some more talking to before he turned around and focused his gaze on someone. “You, orphan boy,” he called out catching the blonde’s attention, “you’re free to go.” The barred door rattled as it was pushed open. The surprise on Billy’s face was obvious as he stepped out of the cell. “You have that lady over to thank.” The guard gestured over to you.
A look of confusion washed over Billy’s face as he saw Mary-Belle standing at the bottom of the stairs. He never expected to see her there, especially not to get him out of jail. He was too shocked to say anything as he neared her. Mary-Belle quickly grew tired of his non-reaction. She grabbed his wrist and led him out of the shabby cellar and out onto the street where the people were still clamoring and screaming at each other. A different picture than what she was used to seeing in the streets of London.
Billy got ahold of himself quickly after they made it outside. The fresh air helped him focus his thoughts. As soon as they got to the street, he jerked his hand out of her hold, making her turn to look at him expectantly, eyebrows raised and hands on her hips. “What are you doing?”, he asked, still in that tone like he hated her guts and was spitting accusations.
“You know, you should be nicer to the person who got you out of a trial that would most definitely have ended in your death.” That shut him up, at least momentarily, but he also did not deem it necessary to thank her. He glared at her for another moment before he left her standing there. She watched after him in bewilderment at his audacity. But Billy rethought his decision when he saw at least five people in a fistfight happening over a dead body. It was already worse than he had thought. He walked back over to her, grabbed her wrist like she had his before and dragged her along with him, past the fighting people.
“We are supposed to meet Spike at Baker Street 221B,” she told him after they had walked in silence for a minute. Billy wondered shortly how she came to know this, what happened while he had been in that cell that now this girl he barely knew got him out of his certain doom, but he kept quiet and led her to Baker Street 221B.
They were the last to arrive. The whole group was already present. Bea and Spike were happy to see Billy out as a free man and greeted him happily, enclosing him in hugs. They thanked Mary-Belle for her help before they turned their attention back to him. When the three of them and Leo moved to the other room, she didn’t know whether to follow them or leave. Eventually, she took some steps to follow them but stopped in the doorway. There, in the room, a dark-haired girl was lying unconsciously on the sofa with the others gathered around her. It seemed an intimate situation that she didn’t want to intrude on, so she made the decision to leave them now. She had done her part and was not needed anymore.
A tall man walked towards the room the teenagers were gathered in when Mary-Belle was about to open the door. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her. His gaze followed her arm to the door handle. “You shouldn’t go out there now,” he advised. Joyful sounds came from the adjacent room. The girl must have woken up. “Come with me,” he ordered and so, she followed him back to the room.
The girl that had been previously unconscious was sitting upright on the sofa now and told this man about a place they needed to go to. He nodded sternly and told the boys to follow him, leaving Mary-Belle alone with the two girls. She felt entirely out of place and didn’t know what to say or do. She couldn’t even look at them, so she walked over to the window and looked outside while the other two were speaking in hushed voices among themselves.
Outside was a mess, people running around, swinging weapons of all sorts, handmade, bought or just using whatever was available to hurt others. Just outside the window she was looking on as a man bashed in the skull of another, his teeth fletched. He even seemed to be growling at the man who was lying at his feet, blood flowing out of his fatal wound, coloring the sidewalk a dark red. Mary-Belle covered her mouth with a shaky hand at the barbaric act that had occurred in front of her eyes. And when the man looked up, his crazy eyes staring right into hers she let out a gasp and took a step back. She had seen pure rage in his eyes, no clear thoughts, just the urge to hurt and kill.
Her eyes were still fixed on the curtain. It had fallen back into place but she still had the image of the open skull and the look in the man’s eyes on her mind as if she was still staring at it. A hand grabbed her arm and pulled her away. Her gaze travelled to the person who sat her down on a chair far away from the window. She was still shaking. It was Billy whose place was quickly taken by Leo. He had looked out the window to see what had left you in this state. The crazy man was gone, but the body was still lying there on the sidewalk. Leo kneeled down by her side. His hand rested on her knee as he talked to her reassuringly. Her breathing calmed after a short while as the others looked on. She found words to answer Leo’s worried questions in a quiet voice.
As it was clear that she would be fine the other’s attention shifted. Beatrice and Jessie shared a look that had a clear meaning. They had to go. Now. Beatrice announced it to the group that immediately moved to the entrance. Bea stayed back a moment longer with Leo and Mary-Belle. “She’s coming with us!”, Leo insisted, looking up at Bea from his kneeling position.
The girl did not have the time to argue with him right now. They were in a hurry, so she agreed. “As long as she doesn’t get in the way.
“I won’t,” Mary-Belle promised and stood up to join the rest of the group.
When they left the building, warned by Watson to stay together, she threw a glance in the direction of the window she had been standing in. The body looked different now. Pieces of the skull and brain were scattered around it. Bile rose up in her throat, but she forced herself to look away and keep moving. She promised not to be in the way and so she wouldn’t. And she wouldn’t slow them down either. She hiked up her skirt – which was a very inconvenient choice of clothing for the occasion – and hurried after the others.
She was filled in about the whole situation by Leo on the way. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. “I thought you said you’d be safe!”, she exclaimed in frustration and anger. “That is not ‘being safe’! It’s like the opposite of safe. We are literally running towards the danger!”
“The danger is all around us!”, he retaliated. “We have to stop this! We’re the only ones that can because we know what is happening.”
They came to a stop in front of the entrance to Aldgate Station. Watson tried to open the door, unsuccessfully. It was jammed. It only took him a moment to come up with a different plan. He showed them another entrance, through the sewers. All of them stood around the hole looking down into the dark. Even though it was the only way to get to the Linen Man and Sherlock, a shudder crept down Mary-Belle’s spine at the thought of going down there.
Billy nudged Spike to tell him to go first, but he refused. There was another moment where none of them moved a muscle but then Mary-Belle heard distant noises which made her overcome her fears for a moment and announced, “Then I’ll go first!” She quickly climbed down before she could change her mind again but the growling and yelps coming from up there just helped to reassure her in her decision. Her skirt tore on the way down. She didn’t complain though as it gave her more freedom to move although it was a bad day to have worn one of her favorite dresses.
Surprisingly, the sewers were lit well enough to see without any additional gadgets. It only took Mary-Belle a moment to get used to the dim lighting. By the time she was able to see completely fine, the others have found their way down. Watson instructed them to stay together and to be quiet. It would be over for them if the Linen Man knew they were there. In moments like this Mary-Belle regretted tagging along. She was pretty certain she would die today. How could a bunch of teenagers save the world? Especially from some supernatural Rip that’s threatening to absorb this world? She still didn’t quite get what was actually happening. It was all a bit hard to wrap her mind around.
She kept close to Watson while moving through the tunnel. Sticking close to the only adult seemed like the most reasonable decision. He gave the impression he knew what he was doing which made her feel a little safer.
Nobody noticed the moment Beatrice stopped moving with them. Only when she cried out in agony they realized and quickly rushed back to her. Panic washed over Mary-Belle as she remembered the words Watson said about what would happen if the Linen Man found out they were there. Watson covered her mouth to stop her screams, hoping against all hope that the Linen Man and Sherlock hadn’t heard them yet and thus knew that they were close.
They started moving again after Beatrice had calmed down. It hadn’t taken long but time was precious now. With every second passing the world was closer to its end. Mary-Belle still remained close to Watson while she kept stealing glances at Beatrice to gather whether she would be alright. Every single sound had her on edge.
That the boys were not behind them anymore was suddenly realized when they started crying out. Beatrice did as well, clutching her head and sinking towards the ground. Tears were streaming over her face and she mumbled, “No, no, don’t go! Mum! Mum!” Mary-Belle tore her gaze away from Beatrice when gunshots were fired right next to her. The loud sound left her ear ringing. She only saw a flash of white before it was gone, scared away by Watson’s gun. Jessica ran after it and left them to deal with Beatrice who would not calm down.
The boys’ cries could still be heard as well, Leo’s standing out to Mary-Belle the most. She couldn’t bear hearing that and doing nothing, so she ran towards him. Watson shouted her name after her, telling her to not walk off alone, but she didn’t listen. If he didn’t have to take care of Beatrice, he would’ve gotten up to stop her, but he couldn’t leave the crying girl on the ground alone there.
Mary-Belle ran back down the path they had taken, following his outcries, she quickly found Leopold. He was sitting on the ground, knees pulled up to his chest and his head between his hands. He screams and cries out. Each cry tore more at her chest. He removed his hands from his ears to stare at them as if he could see something on them that she didn’t. She dropped down next to him and tried to talk him out of it like he did with her back at Baker Street, but she couldn’t get through to him, so she just sat there, quiet tears rolling down her face at seeing the boy she loved in this state.
And then it stopped. From one moment to the next, his screams quieted down. He looked up from the ground and towards her in confusion, not grasping what had just happened. Relief flooded her system as she threw her arms around him. It took a moment, but then he returned the hug, desperately holding on to her.
Billy’s voice called out to Leo prompting them to let go off each other. He appeared in front of them seconds after and helped Leo off the ground who in turn helped Mary-Belle. His movements were still slow and staggered like he didn’t quite have a grasp on reality. Billy then called out to Spike who called back immediately. The three of them moved towards where his voice was coming from, finding him on the ground as well. He was already back on his feet when they came to a stop by his side. They made sure he was unharmed, physically at least, before continuing on the way they had gone before this happened, hoping to reunite with Beatrice, Watson and Jessica.
When Beatrice and Watson were already in sight, just down the tunnel, the earth began to rumble, debris falling down, dust collecting on their heads and clothes. Leopold pulled Mary-Belle back before the ceiling of the tunnel collapsed in front of them, separating them from Beatrice and Watson.
When most of the dust settled and she could see clearly again she saw Billy lying on the ground. His leg was pinned under two big stoned and he knew that it was wrecked. “Billy! Leo!”, Beatrice shouted from the other side of the rubble as Leo and Spike helped Billy up. He couldn’t put weight on the leg without crying out in pain, so Spike supported him. They let Beatrice know that his leg was probably broken.
A short argument broke out since Beatrice wanted them to go back to the cellar but Billy refused to leave them. “Be reasonable, Billy,” Mary-Belle chimed in. “The tunnels aren’t safe and you wouldn’t be of much help anyway with your leg. You should rest before it will get even worse,” she argued.
Billy was about to retort when Beatrice spoke up again. “Listen to her, Billy!” She sounded desperate. “And promise me… Promise me that you’ll keep each other safe.” Silence overcame them for a moment as they thought about what they were going to do before Spike agreed and gave her the promise. Leo followed suit. For Billy to agree it took some more demands from Beatrice. Her voice still sounded strong despite her desperation and in that moment Mary-Belle realized what Leopold saw in her. “Mary-Belle?” Beatrice called out to her as well, this time a bit calmer. “Will you promise me, too?” She was surprised that Beatrice wanted her to give the promise as well. After all, she was not a part of their group.
“Of course,” she replied nonetheless, never having thought of doing anything other. “I promise.” With those promises made they went on their way, Leopold going to Billy’s other side to support him as well. Mary-Belle walked behind them. Still feeling uneasy, she kept throwing glances over her shoulder like something would appear there at any moment. Thankfully, it didn’t and they made it out of the sewers without any more incidents.
“Mary-Belle, here, take over!”, Spike instructed you, so that he could move in front of them to protect them. She took his place at Billy’s side. He slung his arm over her shoulder begrudgingly. He didn’t have much of a choice now about who would help him move. He just needed to get home and off the streets, so he would have to get used to the idea of Mary-Belle supporting him on the way.
The streets were ruthless. Never had she seen anything like this. The people had turned crazy. The ones that hadn’t either fell victim to the ones that had or hid out in their homes behind barred doors and windows. Having to basically carry Billy through the streets slowed them down immensely. Each time they came upon someone she tensed but kept moving in the strong believe that when it came to it, Spike would protect them. Most of the time they were ignored though. Maybe they were not interesting enough for those who found liking in eating someone’s intestines. The things Mary-Belle had already seen today were nightmare material for the rest of her life, but she doubted that it would be all. The day wasn’t over yet, the world hadn’t ended yet. There was still time to be traumatized even more.
With each step Billy hissed in pain. He tried his hardest not to scream but some steps were even worse than the ones before and he couldn’t stop the screams that escaped him.
The sight of the ‘Duck and Quiver’ sign was a relief. They had made it. Mary-Belle was out of breath. Her body was hurting from having to haul Billy all the way through the city but she did not dare compare it to the pain he must be feeling. He had to sit down for a moment on the stairs across the street from the pub, groaning and hissing. They had tried to stabilize his leg. It didn’t do much but was probably better than just leaving it without.
“Watson was right,” said Leo, “the city’s turning. With the Rip the way it is every time someone prays for help or wishes, that’s all it takes now.”
“We should’ve stayed and found a way through. We’re useless here,” added Billy.
“You would have been useless there, too,” Mary-Belle remarked, growing tired of his behavior. “I mean, look at you. You can barely stand. What would you have done there? Going back was the best option whether you choose to believe it or not.”
“You-“ Billy’s answer was cut short as what looked like blue lightning soared through the sky. It rumbled, crackled and sissed as it came down from the sky and connected with the building that held the pub. Blue lines danced along the walls as the magic – there was no other way Mary-Belle could describe it – made its way into the building.
“Jessie still hasn’t closed the Rip,” observed Leo. “It’s nearly over. It could be too late now.”
Spike rushed them to get moving again, so that they could find shelter in the cellar and hope for the best. Mary-Belle moved back to Billy’s side and helped him get up as Leo took his other side. They stopped again shortly after as terrified screams came towards them and a bunch of people came running from behind the corner, a weapon-swinging attacker after them. They tried to stop him as he had a nun cornered against her door but without any luck.
Spike didn’t hesitate as he lunged forward and knocked him out with his rifle. The man fell to the ground having lost his consciousness. Spike was rather excited about the fact that he succeeded in taking him down. “I rifled him! I rifled him!”, he announced in disbelief. Leo, Billy and Mary-Belle moved over to him as he helped up the nun who had been cowering on the ground. She told them how the man came after them in the church. She was desperate as she told them that they had nowhere to go. Billy immediately offered that they could come with them and so, they made their way to the cellar together.
Mary-Belle let out a sigh of relief when Spike closed the door behind them and barred it. With walls surrounding them she felt a lot safer than out on the street. They set Billy down on a chair. Without him weighing down on her she stood up straight again and rolled her shoulders to get at least some of the tension out. It barely worked. The stress and anxiety just made her more tense. No rolling her shoulders would help with that.
Sister Anna, as Mary-Belle had found out the nun was called, moved to the back of the cellar with the other two they had taken in while Billy, Spike, Leo and Mary-Belle stayed more in the front. She went to stand with Leo. “How are you feeling?”, she asked.
“I’m not sure, to be honest. That was close back there. You do realize you were almost crushed back then, don’t you?” His gaze was fixed on her, worry in his eyes.
“Don’t turn this on me now,” she scolded. “I asked how you were doing. I am fine, thanks to you, but the Linen Man got into your mind. What did you see? Do you want to talk about it?”
“I- There was blood, so much blood. I-I don’t know. I thought I was about to die.” His eyes glazed over as he thought back on the visions he had. “I was all alone and I thought I was dying.” He didn’t say anything else, stuck on that feeling. Mary-Belle wrapped him into another hug bringing him back into the moment. “Thank you!” He smiled at her softly before his gaze moved over to Billy who was breathing heavily from the extortion that getting to the cellar had been for him. “How did you get Billy out of jail anyway?” She recalled the story for him, stressing that it wouldn’t have been possible if she had done it without her father’s help. “How did he take the condition that he would be under your father’s supervision?”
“I didn’t tell him yet,” she admitted, avoiding the reproachful look he gave her. “How am I supposed to tell him? I can barely be near him without him hating every moment. That doesn’t really make me enjoy his company either. He hates me. I’m sure of it.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Leo argued. “That’s how he was with me at first as well. Now we’re friends. New people are not really his thing, I guess, especially rich ones.”
“Leo’s right.” Mary-Belle jumped at Spike’s sudden appearance by her side. “It may be hard to believe for you, but Billy is actually quite nice and a good friend. He cares. More than he admits himself sometimes. And I bet he doesn’t hate you. You two just got off on the wrong foot.”
“So, you’re saying…”
“You should talk to him.” Spike and Leopold both rolled their eyes at the groan she let out. They kept looking at her expectantly as she waited to see who would give in first.
“Ugh, fine.” She was the first to break. She turned towards Billy and even got a little shove from Spike to get her to move. She shot a sour glance at him over her shoulder but went to sit down next to Billy. He looked up from what he was doing to focus on her. She couldn’t quite decipher the way he was looking at her. It might be hatred, might be intrigue, might be disgust.
“What are you doing?” He asked after she did not speak up after sitting down.
“I just wanted to sit,” she replied but she could feel Spike and Leo watching her, their gazes boring into her and giving her the motivation to talk a little more. “How are you feeling?”
“Still think we should’ve stayed, should’ve been there for Bea and Jess,” he grumbled.
“Look,” she tried to explain once again, “I told you. With your leg like that, you can barely move. Just getting here already took such a strain on you. If it had come down to it, if we had to get out of there quickly, you would’ve held everyone back. You can’t do much with your leg like that. And if we hadn’t come here, who knows what would’ve happened to Sister Anna. It was the most reasonable decision. I am sure, Beatrice thought the same. Otherwise, she probably wouldn’t have sent you back. She wanted you to stay safe and I bet she won’t let herself get hurt either. You will all be together again.”
He considered her for a moment. “I guess,” he agreed begrudgingly. They sat in silence for another minute or two. Both of them looking anywhere but at each other. “Thank you,” he finally mumbled. At her confused gaze he groaned once more. “For getting me out of the trial, I mean. You’re right. If they had gone through with it, it would have ended with my death sentence, so thank you. I appreciate it.”
“How about we start over?”, she proposed, turning so she could properly face him.
“What do you mean?”
“Just what I said. Start over.” She paused for a second before giving him a bright smile and extending her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Mary-Belle.” Throwing all the things she had learned about etiquette out the window she introduced herself with only her first name.
Billy seemed surprised at that. He looked thoughtfully at her outstretched hand before he grasped it. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he pressed her hand gently. “Billy. The pleasure’s all mine.” He laughed a little as he let go of her hand. It brought a genuine smile to her face as she chuckled along. “So,” Billy stated. His gaze was on Leo and Spike who were looking over in a manner that was not very inconspicuous, “do they think I would murder you or is there another reason they are watching us this intently?”
She followed his gaze. The two boys weren’t bothered by the fact that their attention was now on them. “They might. Or they think I would you. We do not have the best history after all.”
“You’re different from what I thought,” Billy admitted which took her by surprise.
“Elaborate.”
“Do I have to?” His eyes found hers again. A teasing smile adorned his lips.
“You do,” she insisted.
“I guess, we met you at a time I was also very suspicious of Leo. For good reason, I might add. He lied to us. I have forgiven him for that, don’t worry,” he added after he saw the look that she gave him before he continued, “But my experiences with nobility hadn’t been very good. I didn’t trust him, so I wouldn’t trust you either. I was rude and I scared you. I’m sorry about that. I thought you’d be just like the others who are well-off, up-tight with a stick up your arse and thinking you are better than everyone else, especially those living like we do. But you are… not like that.” He didn’t explain any further.
“I take that as a compliment, so thank you. You’re not as much of a rowdy as I thought you were.” She squeezed his shoulder as she got up as a way to end the conversation, before she walked over to Leo and Spike.
“He seemed to have taken the news well,” noticed Leo.
She just sighed, hanging her head in shame. “I couldn’t do it. We got along for once and I didn’t want to destroy that right after.”
“You have to tell him at some point.”
“I know. Let’s just survive the night first and then I will tell him. I promise.”
They were shaken out of their conversation when a rattling sounded from the door. Someone was trying to get in. They came together at the bottom of the stairs, ready to defend the cellar. Somehow, Mary-Belle ended up next to Billy who noticed the way she watched the rattling door. Each of them grabbed a weapon. Billy handed her one as well. “Scared?”, he asked.
“Of course. Unlike you apparently, I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“I’m scared, too,” he admitted quietly before chaos reigned down upon them. Surprisingly it didn’t come the way they expected with the door splintering and bloodthirsty people storming in but with the Sister finishing a prayer. They hadn’t been able to stop her from saying that last faithful word. They barely moved fast enough to watch her turn. Her eyes turned black, no light shining in them, no life, no recognition. The dark lines crawling over her skin made her look monstrous, inhuman. But even as her appearance had changed into something not quite human, her voice remained calm as she spoke to the two who were kneeling in front of her and had been praying with her. They too were overcome with the magic of the Rip, not moving away from her, not screaming as she broke their necks.
She then turned her attention to the four of them, calling them heathens as she neared. Her skin was pale, a stark contrast to the dark veins and her black eyes. Mary-Belle was terrified. The feeling only deepening when the bullet Spike shot at her did her no harm. Mary-Belle was pulled back and down some stairs until she moved on her own. Leo supported Billy again as they ran from the cold-hearted monster that had once been a loving person filling people’s hearts with warmth. Spike stopped to reload his rifle. Even if the bullet might not do damage, it might slow her down. But before he was able to target her, she grabbed the rifle out of his hand and threw it to the ground. Her hands gripped the front of his shirt and threw him into a corner. He didn’t move or make a sound, worrying his friends. Mary-Belle could just watch, frozen in place, as Billy attacked the monster. She flinched with every punch and kick he got before he too was thrown across the room. His body slid on the ground until his head bumped against the wall and he fell unconscious.
Her feet were frozen. No matter how much she willed them to move they wouldn’t. She stood there and watched as the monster came towards her. In the corner of her eye she still saw Leo trying to get between her and the monster before she felt her hands on her, felt a dull pain and everything went black.
She came back to when her body was shaken. Slowly opening her eyes while trying to ignore the searing pain behind them she saw Leo towering over her. The worry on his face changed into relief when her eyes found his. She groaned as she sat up, holding her pounding head. Leo helped her up, holding onto her arms tightly. “It’s over!”, he explained. “It’s over! Jessie must have closed the Rip!” She felt great relief as she clung onto Leo.
“Is Spike alright?”, she asked after pulling away from him.
“Am fine, love,” the boy called over having heard her ask the question. Her face lit up as she realized that he was indeed alright. She rushed over and gave him a hug as well, surprising him, but he didn’t complain. Near-death experiences did bring people closer together. Either way, she had always liked the charismatic boy. In her mind they were friends. In his, too. She just didn’t know.
“And you?”, she asked Billy who was sitting down again. The fight could not have been good for his broken leg.
“Not much worse than before,” he answered honestly. Apart from the throbbing in his head, his leg gave him the greatest pain, but it had done that before, too. She nodded at that. They were well and alive and the world wouldn’t end today. She looked around the cellar once more, noticing the absence of the Sister and the bodies. They must have already taken them out while she was unconscious.
“I should probably go, then,” she started, but was stopped by Billy.
“You should at least wait until Bea and Jessie come back and tell us what happened. You deserve to hear the story, too.” The other two boys agreed. It didn’t take much convincing to get her to stay a little longer. They sat in silence, much needed after everything that had happened. It was interrupted after a while by the door opening. Steps made their way down into the cellar. The two girls appeared, covered in dirt with sad looks on their faces that were replaced by happy and relieved ones at the sight of everyone being there.
Mary-Belle watched the way Leopold and Beatrice looked at each other as they got closer and enveloped each other in a hug. It was adoring, loving, in a way Leopold had never looked at her, but she understood now. Understood how she could never compare to Beatrice who was so adventurous and brave. More hugs were exchanged while Mary-Belle just sat there and watched on. There was a short moment Beatrice and her held eye-contact. The black-haired girl nodded at Mary-Belle as a sign of respect and as a thank you for keeping the promise she had made. She couldn’t justify not liking Beatrice anymore after today, but she didn’t know if that made it harder or easier to let go of her feelings for Leo.
She stayed seated as the girls found their own seats and the boys went back to theirs before they started telling what had transpired. Jessie filled them in about her mind battle with the Linen Man and together they told them about their mother who had appeared from the Rip. It was a heart-wrenching story. Mary-Belle’s eyes filled with tears that she didn’t want to let fall in front of the others but the story and the expression on the sisters’ faces made it hard. She admired them even more now. Having to make such a decision wasn’t an easy weight to bear and then having to live with it.
Soon after everyone filled the others in on what they had experienced the groups dispersed. Mary-Belle took that as her cue. There was just one more thing she needed to do before she left them. She walked over to Leo and Beatrice, hesitant to interrupt their conversation but doing it anyways to get it over with. “Excuse me,” she butted in, “Leo, can I talk with you outside for a moment?” His gaze fluttered over to Beatrice who agreed silently before the both of them climbed out of the cellar and onto the street that had already gone back to some sort of normalcy. People were bustling around, going after their business, others were in charge of picking up the dead bodies and cleaning up after them.
They came to stop a short way away from the cellar when Mary-Belle turned to face him. “What are you going to do now, Leo? Are you going to return to the palace? What is your plan?”
“I… would like to stay here. These are my friends and I belong here, not in the palace,” he announced.
She nodded, a sad smile on her face. “I understand, but I’m certain the Queen will have people looking for you when she notices that you are missing. You can’t stay away from your responsibilities forever.”
He let out a desperate sigh. “I know, but… I want to enjoy this time for as long as I can.” She nodded and squeezed his arm briefly before she watched him descend into the cellar again to live this life for a bit longer.
She turned to walk away, home, back to a life so unlike the one Leo chose to live, but she didn’t get very far before she was stopped by a hand hesitantly reaching out to her. Jessica stood there. She quickly retrieved her arm after gaining Mary-Belle’s attention. “We were actually going to get fish and chips later. You, um, you should eat with us. After all, you’ve helped us.”
“I didn’t really do anything actually. I was probably just in the way most of the time, but thank you. You guys should enjoy your evening by yourselves.”
She wanted to walk away again, but Jessica spoke up once more to stop her. “That’s not true! If anything, you got Billy out of jail! The others told me. You didn’t have to do that. You barely know us, but you did! Please, I would really like it if you would eat with us.”
In the end, Jessica had convinced Mary-Belle and when they were all sitting together that evening eating fish and chips she felt content and happy. Looking around at their smiling and laughing faces she could understand how Leo found his family in this group of people.
She caught the expression on Billy’s face when Leo and Beatrice walked past him to get up to the street. It was a sour one, full of jealousy. So, she walked over and sat down next to him. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”, she noticed quietly, following their retreating figures with her eyes until they disappeared outside and closed the door behind them.
Billy’s head whipped around to eye her suspiciously. “What would you know about it?”, he asked.
“Well.” She let out a sigh. “I’m in love with him,” she revealed, “so, I guess we’re in the same boat.” The two of them shared a mutual understanding that the people they loved, loved them too, but not in the same way.
“Should we do something about it, then?”, Billy asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What are you thinking of?”, Mary-Belle asked with a smile, before Billy grabbed her face and pulled her close. His lips hovered over hers for a moment, enough time for her to pull away if she wanted too, and then he kissed her. A gasp sounded which pulled the two apart. As they looked over to the source of the sound, they found Spike staring at them, his hand dramatically on his chest which made them all laugh. Billy threw a chip at Spike to get him to stop with his antics. He had a carefree smile on his face again. Even as he looked over at Mary-Belle, which he used to do with such a dark gaze, it didn’t falter and maybe, she thought, she could find her place here as well.
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monstersandmaw · 4 years
Text
Male orc x female reader (light nsfw) - Patreon tier reward
Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.
tw: menstruation is mentioned - just putting this first in case anyone isn't comfortable with that.
This was a really fun tier reward prompt from a patron who wanted a couple of things, namely a big buff orc who was impressed at how much the female reader could lift at the gym, who bench presses her at one point, and who is also amazed that those who lose so much blood once a month and can still be super badass (and horny). It’s been up on my Patreon for almost a week now, so here it is for Tumblr folks.
Wordcount: 1910
Hope you enjoy!
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You would remember the first time you saw him in the gym for the rest of your days.
He and two of his mates were crossing from the main staircase of the upper-level gym, making their way over to the weights section, and you had honestly never seen such personifications of perfection in your entire life. The three orcs were all pretty huge, but the one at the front who was laughing the loudest and had the biggest tusks - a double set, no less - was just beyond attractive. Probably every eye in the gym was trained on him in that moment.
Long, shiny, dark hair hung down his back in a thick braid, studded with beads and charms of all kinds and colours, and one or two shorter sections fell forwards into warm, dark brown eyes that glittered as he shared a good-natured joke with his buddies. The second was slightly smaller in stature, and had the most incredible arms you’d probably ever seen, shown off to excellent advantage by the sleeveless muscle shirt he wore. He moved between the other two and he was in a manual wheelchair, and the way his arms looked as he propelled himself forwards was almost enough to make you drop the bar you were currently holding halfway towards another dead-lift, the last in that set. The third strode beside her friends, every bit as muscular and beautiful as they were, with long, red-tipped hair tied back in a ponytail to reveal her thick but pointed orcish ears, decorated with studs and rings.
How you had not seen them here before, you weren’t sure, but you assumed they’d just joined up. They certainly weren’t regulars at this time of day anyway.
Just as the largest of them came round to the weights section, he caught sight of you working out and raised an eyebrow slightly. You could have sworn that his lips silently formed the word ‘damn’ when he saw you dead-lifting what happened to be a P.B. for you, and you honestly did try not to preen. His friend looked up at him and elbowed him in the side as he pushed past, heading towards the benches with the female orc. As they went one way, he decided to head towards the stack of bars against the wall near you, and the female yelled over at him, “Oi, Kal - try not to strain something, yeah?”
He just shook his head in a gently affectionate gesture and grinned before turning to you, seeing that you were still using the weight plates and bars. “You mind if I join you?” he asked politely. The way he was almost meek with his question was at complete odds with his physical appearance, and you didn’t mind his company in the least.
“Not at all,” you said. “I’m almost done.” Then you saw the colossal 50kg dumbbell which the minotaur, who had been using the space before you, had left out, and you grinned playfully at him. “Hey, you think you could help me out?”
Kal froze and turned to look at you, somewhat hopeful, it seemed. His eyes were the colour of chocolate, and they crinkled kindly when he smiled. “Sure,” he said. “What do you need?”
Without breaking the rhythm of your last set of reps, you jutted your chin towards the offending pair of dumbbells and said, “Would you mind moving those out of the way? The last person to use them didn’t put them back and I’m not sure I can lift them…”
He pointedly eyed the weights at the end of the bar that you currently had resting on your shoulders, and then chuckled. “Yeah, sure.” And with an oh-so-easy bicep curl, he picked one up in each hand and set them back on the bottom most rung of the rack near the wall. “Listen, don’t suppose you need someone to spot for you?” he asked.
And it had gone from there to him asking you out on a date, and from a few dates to six months’ worth of bliss. Kalar - Kal to his friends - was a huge barrel of laughs. Unlike many of his kind, he was slow to anger and found almost everything funny, to the point where you spent one evening both doubled over on the sofa laughing so hard that you actually skipped workout the next day, claiming that your abs had had enough of a workout for a week.
People who saw the two of you together - particularly his orcish friends and family - didn’t always get how you two were a couple. Sure, humans and orcs mixed, but it wasn’t until Kal proudly told them what your latest personal best was at the gym that they looked at you in a new light. While it was nice to be accepted, the fact that it came initially from your apparently impressive - for a human - ability to lift weights pissed you off something royal, and when Kal asked you about it, you said, “Would you still feel the same way about me if I couldn’t lift at all?”
The horror that immediately flooded into his warm brown eyes reassured you and he pulled you tight into a hug and stroked your hair, more to calm himself down than to appease you. “Of course I would. I’m sorry…”
With a cheeky grin, you smacked his abs with the back of your hand and said, “I expect you to bench twice what you normally do on Monday to make up for it though…”
Kal, never one to back down from a challenge, accepted that immediately, and, because he was a huge dork, he had his own way of doing things. Leaving you a bit puzzled, he got his friend, Kitrik, to start videoing, and then he unceremoniously handed you a 15kg weight plate and said, “Hold this.”
“Kal, what are you -?” you began before he just scooped you up in his arms and barked, “Hold a plank, babe.”
“Are you fucking shoulder pressing me?” you squawked as he did indeed begin to shoulder press you while you did your best to keep your body in a straight line whilst holding a weight plate to your chest.
He didn’t keep it up for long in case he put a strain on your back, but by the time he’d done a decent number of reps and had lowered you to the ground, everyone in the gym was staring and he was giggling like a five year old. He nuzzled your neck affectionately and said, “I love you.”
That was the first time he’d said it, and he never let an opportunity pass him by without saying it after that.
Just a year into your relationship, you moved in together. It took a while to find a place that suited both of you, but when you did, he declared that this one was perfect, and you had to agree with him, honestly. It had wide open spaces and a gorgeous kitchen, and the view from the bedroom looked out over a quiet section of the river below.
Perhaps a couple of weeks into sharing the same space, you had your first major argument. It was over something small and stupid, and it blew up into a big deal, leaving you fuming and emotional, and him sullen and angry. It didn’t help that you were on your period, and yes, to hell with the stereotypes, you did tend to feel emotions a little more deeply at that time of the month.
Unable to bear the tension between you, you came back into the house after taking a short walk along the canal bank to find him unloading laundry into the washer from the basket. You’d agreed to do it this week, but instead of picking another pointless squabble over it, you just stepped over and silently started helping out. He looked down at you, and as he did, he caught sight of the period blood stains - largely washed out now - on your underwear, and his dark green skin blanched.
“What?” you asked, partly amused and partly a little concerned.
“I… Uh… I don’t have any sisters, so… I didn’t… uh…”
You scowled, following his gaze. “Oh!” you snorted. “Yeah, my tampon leaked. Sucks, but it happens sometimes.”
“That’s… after you have a tampon on?” he asked, clearly horrified. The fabric wasn’t bloody anymore, and the remnants would rinse out easily enough in the wash, so it was more amusing than anything to see his obvious shock.
“Mmhmm,” you hummed cheerily, stuffing them into the washer and grabbing the next few shirts. “It’s no big deal.”
He blinked, but didn’t seem to believe that that could be normal.
“I’m probably going to hit the gym later,” you added, just to see how he’d react. Given that the argument was quickly fading into the distance like a passing storm, you added, “I could use someone to spot for me, if you wanted to come along.”
Kal went still again and tilted his head slightly, making a tiny, choked sound in his throat. The movement of his head made his lovely hair swing forwards over one colossal shoulder. “You’re still going to work out?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Actually, moving around helps a bit,” you said, turning to face him. “Not gonna lie though, some months I do just curl up on the sofa or in a hot bath, but it’s not so bad this time. How is this the first time this has come up?” you added incredulously. You’d been around him on your period before.
Instead of responding, Kal’s eyes widened even more and he looked a bit awestruck.
“Kal?” you asked, stretching up and putting your hand on his cheek and stroking his cheekbone with your thumb. “You ok? Is this about the fight? I’m sorry I blew up earlier. I didn’t really mean what I said.”
“It’s not that,” he breathed. “And I didn’t mean it either. No… You’re… You’re amazing.”
That took you a bit by surprise. “What?” you snorted.
Slightly slack jawed, he put his hands on your waist and kissed the top of your head. “I guess I’ve never thought about how much blood you lose once a month. The fact that you still want to work out as well…” he couldn’t quite finish, just shaking his head in awe.
“Is this an orcish thing?” you asked sceptically, leaning back while still letting him keep a hold of your hips. “Like… you know, ‘fighting on despite your terrible battle wounds’…?”
He blinked and laughed softly. “Maybe? I just think you’re really tough. Anyone who goes through that and can still function…”
You rolled your eyes and blurted, “It’s just biology. Come on, let’s go work up and make out.” You bit your lip the instant the slip fell out of your mouth. “I mean… work out and make up.”
Kal - still with his hands on your hips - ran his thumbs slowly over your lower stomach and you couldn’t help the groan that escaped you, your eyes rolling closed.
“You’re worked up already?” he asked breathily.
Licking your lips, you said, “Ok, fine… it’s one of the better side effects of all this very orcish blood and gore… yeah.”
He bit his own lip and his eyes flared bright. Nodding once, he bent to kiss you. “Let’s go work up and make out then,” he said.
I really hope you folks enjoyed this one! Don’t forget to let me know if you did enjoy it by leaving a like and/or reblogging it!
For all early releases, character art and bios, upcoming story info, and much, much more, join me over on Patreon!
You’ll have access to stories before anyone else, and you’ll get instant access Patreon-only content as well, including polls and an exclusive monthly story for those on the Pixies and Goblins tier or higher!
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sailorspazz · 4 years
Text
10 Dance Special Booklet - Taboo and Habanera [English Translation]
I present to you my project of the last few weeks: an English version of the comics that came with the Japanese special edition of vol. 4. (Thanks to @words-unleashed​ for providing cleaned scans!) Since it’s definitely not Tumblr Safe, the full scanlation can be found at imgur. com/a/HgbwYk1 (sorry to write it out weird, but Tumblr hides posts with external links when you tag search, so just copy and delete the extra spacing and you should be able to access it).
As a bonus, I also made a subtitled version of the track from the drama CDs that includes the “Taboo” portion of the story. The dialogue is mostly the same, with some additions/deletions, but if you want to hear all the steamy action as well as read it, definitely check that out, too. Since it was long, I had to split the video on Tumblr; start with the first half here (or escape this hell site and go to YouTube, where it’s all in one part: youtu.be/ B95vNjt-e6M , again need to copy and delete extra spacing)
Recently, I’ve been working on serious summaries of the chapters that have been released since vol. 5 (starting with #29 part 1). My true nature, though, is to be more snarky and make dumb commentary, so click below if you want a summary of these bonus comics (along with select Tumblr Safe images) where I just poke fun and be thirsty.
So after several volumes of the Shinyas making out without sexing each other, I guess the manga artist was like, “you know what, I’m not gonna have these guys fuck anytime soon (or ever, lol just kidding...or am I?), so I guess I’ll throw some smut crumbs to the poor, deprived shippers.” And we’ll take it and enjoy it, because we’re desperate.
The first story, called “Taboo: Just a bit” continues immediately after chapter 21, where Suzuki said that he’s okay with kissing, but no more! To which Sugiki’s immediate reaction seems to be, “Cool, cool...I’mma go ahead and find a way around that.” Also, he may be a bit insecure about the size of his nipples.
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Note: Sugiki’s nipples are important to the plot of this story. I’m dead serious.
Sugiki wonders about Suzuki not seeming to be bothered by him saying he’s adorable, but apparently Suzuki gets called that all the time. And in one of the greatest leaps in logic in history, Sugiki says that, since everyone always found you so precious, surely you and your male friends all touched each other’s naughty bits when you were kids, right? Suzuki’s like, UMM, NO, WHAT THE FU-okay, yeah. yeah, we did. And he assumes, oh, since Sugiki brought this up, he probably did the same thing.
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“lol, no, I didn’t do that. But I made you admit that you did.”
Sugiki’s closest experience to something like that was when he was in high school and another boy insulted him, beat him up, and then paid him and said he wanted to suck Sugiki off (quite the roller coaster, but okay). Suzuki’s like, oh shit, that sounds super fucked up, sorry to make you remember that, but Sugiki actually used the situation to his advantage by using the boy to develop his own skills. Those skills involved whipping the other kid with a stick, and teasing him with the fact that he never actually agreed to what he proposed.
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Baby sadist in training.
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Look at this man. That is all.
So as Sugiki uses their childhood experiences as a flimsy excuse to propose some dick touching, Suzuki notices something shocking: Sugiki’s nipples are hard!
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Suzuki Needs An Adult after making this discovery. And he’s so distracted by those sexy nips that he isn’t able to stop Sugiki from making a grab at his dick. Which, as it turns out, is a bit stiff.
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Top 10 Manga Betrayals: Suzuki’s dick getting hard from man nips.
Suzuki stays in panic mode for a bit, and when he snaps out of it he finds that his dick is no longer in his pants, but in Sugiki’s hand.
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He protests a bit, but then is like, fine, I guess I’ll let you jerk me off. And goes back to thinking about those nips and how bad he wants to bite them and squeeze them, and also how he’d really like to just fuck Sugiki for good measure, too.
But as for the eternal question of who would be fucking who, Sugiki tries slipping a finger in to test the waters.
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Which results in a big fat NOPE from Suzuki, so Sugiki just keeps jerking him until he gets off, getting just a mini facial as a splash lands near his mouth (we don’t see him lick it...but you know he wanted to).
As they’re getting ready to leave the studio, Suzuki brings up the “adorable” conversation from before, saying he’d imagine no one calls Sugiki that. Sugiki confirms that’s true, and Suzuki responds with:
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Look at this man. That is all (again).
The second story, called Habanera, shows us what the Shinyas do when they’re each home alone. Suzuki, in a desperate attempt to prove his straightness to himself, is planning a porn marathon.
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Meanwhile, Sugiki plans to watch a special DVD that features Suzuki doing a Q&A session. Which, for him, we can assume is the equivalent of watching porn.
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A look at Suzuki’s selections. Bruh, I don’t mean to kinkshame, but...pig farm?
Just as he’s about to get started, he gets a call from some random chick he used to bang. He has no desire to chat, though, and hangs up on her, but while jabbing at his phone, he accidentally hits Sugiki’s speed dial, and quickly disconnects in a panic.
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Rocking the Winnie the Pooh look here with his red shirt and no pants. Also, there are helpful warnings throughout the story whenever his (heavily mosaiced) dick is on panel.
Meanwhile, Sugiki is watching DVD-Suzuki talk about how to wink while dancing, and it’s making him feel A Lot Of Things
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Back at the fap shack, Suzuki claims that just seeing Sugiki’s name made him go limp, because, you know, he’s Definitely Not Attracted To Him. He talks to his dick, trying to get it to firm up again. His dick has a girl’s name (Machiko) and is shown in some shots as having a face and wearing a little bow (yes, it’s as weird as it sounds. no, I can’t show it here).
The next video he has queued up starts, and well, I guess this is that pig farm stuff he’s into (which really just seems to be a domme lady berating the viewer)
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Back at Sugiki’s, DVD-Suzuki has moved on to teaching how to blow kisses.
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Yeah, this is definitely porn for Sugiki. And as he watches this he’s a bit miffed that it seems like Suzuki acts a lot cooler when they’re not together.
Meanwhile, Suzuki’s fantasizing about the sexy lady dominating him...except, the person in his fantasy starts to change from a porn star to...
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Oh look, the man he’s Definitely Not Attracted To happens to show up in his fantasy while he’s beating off. He tries to make the image go away, but then eventually settles for keeping the face but having the rest of the body be the porn star.
Sugiki is practicing his kiss-blowing with DVD-Suzuki as his imaginary partner. And when he finds out that there are other DVDs like this one, he quickly starts searching for the back issues of these pornographic very educational videos.
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After Suzuki shamefully blows his load to the thought of the Sugiki-faced female porn star, his phone starts ringing. It’s Sugiki, returning the call he accidentally placed earlier. Though to Suzuki, the timing feels suspiciously like Sugiki had been watching him or something...
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luckyricochet · 3 years
Note
I want you to answer A-Z on the fandom asks so I can peer into your psyche 👀
Wow I love you. This actually took around three hours since I wanted to think about the answers. See them under the cut!
A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.
From Hanyou no Yashahime — Sesshomaru and Rin
From The Mandalorian — The Mandomera’s been creeping up a little bit. 
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
Honestly can’t think of one. I’m very set in my ships. 
C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.
From Naruto — SasuSaku. Sasuke was cute as a kid so I get Sakura having a crush on him then, but I think she would have gotten over it when he became a homicidal clown who abandoned the village and tried to kill her and her teammates multiple times.
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.
From Harry Potter — Ron x Hermione. I’ve always thought their personalities didn’t match and not in the good “opposites attract” kind of way.
E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?
I only know how to write angst, drama, and introspective musings so no. 
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?
Over fifteen years in the Harry Potter fandom, but I’ve had to separate that from JKR herself in the recent years. 
G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?
“Have I ever had an OTP”? *laughs from shipping hell* 
From The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare — Nat and Kit were my first OTP. Read this book in fifth grade and was immediately loved them. Boy literally risks banishment from the colony to help prove she’s not a witch. 
H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?
I love visual media, so TV, anime, and film
I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
I’m not going to let tumblr dot com put me off of a particular show/book/etc. itself, but it has definitely made me think less of certain types of fans who are in a fandom. 
J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)
The...period drama fandom? More widely, the history fandom. They both create some of the most beautiful edits celebrating history and I love it. 
K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?
 From Avatar: The Last Airbender — It’s gotta be Prince Zuko
L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)
From Harry Potter — I think Ginny is a Mary Sue but I loved when she stood up for herself in Half-Blood Prince when Ron was trying to slut-shame her. 
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
From Parks and Recreation — Leslie Knope. Unending positive affirmations, thoughtfulness, and support!
N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).
I don’t really have a main fandom but I haven’t mentioned Free! yet so let’s go with it for this one. 
1. Less Nitori because I can’t stand him.
2. More female characters! I get half the appeal is the boys, but I’d love to see a girls swim team in some capacity. 
3. More Haru and his family dynamics! Doesn’t have to be a ton, but I want to know what his relationship with his parents like, especially as an adult.
O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?
Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers. “From the destruction, out of the flame. You need a villain, give me a name.” Such an Odesta song. (Finnick x Annie from the Hunger Games)
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).
For The Mandalorian — A historical AU set in early 1900s New York City where Mando’s just some government agent sent to “report” on slum conditions to satisfy some housing law. He goes meaning to write up a generic report but then finds the orphaned Baby Yoda abandoned in one of the tenements. Shocked by the conditions of the slums, Mando goes from being an apathetic, middling-level bureaucrat to being an anonymous investigative journalist reporting on the corruption in the government that allows for the city’s most vulnerable citizens to live in squalor, leading the government on a search to find who within their ranks is exposing them. 
Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.
Sherlock, because it just took so long for the third series to come out. I had moved on to other fandoms by the time it did. Still have fond memories of when I was active in it, though. 
R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?
From Lord of the Rings — Aragorn and Legolas. This is played up a lot more in the films but I love it. 
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)
For Lord of the Rings — Boromir definitely taught Faramir swordplay when they were little kids since their father didn’t want to. 
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
From Hanyou no Yashahime — Rin made the first move. Sesshomaru would be way too clueless to even know how to go about it. 
U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.
From Pirates of the Caribbean — James Norrington: Commodore in the Royal Navy during the 18th century, must I explain any further? Cool, calm, and collected on the job while looking v good while he does it but a nervous wreck in front of the woman he fancies. Tell me that’s not straight out of Austen.
From Star Wars (OT) — Luke Skywalker: An unapologetically good person in a crapsack world, doing his best to bring light into the world. A classic hero archetype who grows out of his naïveté to become a cunning—but still benevolent—Jedi. 
From Prince of Tennis — Yukimura Seiichi: His duality is *chef’s kiss*. Super scary and in charge on the court, gentle sweet boy who loves art and culture off the court. He struggled for so long but was able to overcome it all through his hard work and willpower.
Bonus favorite, because I couldn’t resist...
From Band of Brothers — Doc Roe: He’s doing the MOST for his guys but he really just needs a hug. Plus he’s got the accent.
V - Which character do you relate to most?
From Little Women — Jo March, especially as portrayed by Saoirse Ronan in the 2019 adaptation. Writer, holds grudges, opinionated, stubborn, eschewed “girliness” in her youth but is more open to it and romanticism as an adult. 
W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.
I’ve gotten to the point where even the hint of a love triangle tests my patience.
X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.
It’s about the yearning: Longing Look
Also will definitely always ship the Brooding Boy and the Gentle Girl
Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?
Anything in the MCU or general superhero content.
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)
I love fandom so much. I’m sort of facetious about being obsessed with people who aren’t real on my other social media accounts, but in all seriousness, being able to escape the real world to get excited over characters and relationships that face their own struggles, triumphs, and emotions is such a gift. So often they speak so powerfully on the human experience—How can you read, or watch, any of Tolkien’s work and not be moved by what he has to say about humanity and the power of good? Even if the stories are fictional, the messages they impart about life aren’t, which is what I love so much about them.
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To The Bone (2017) - Analysis and Charting
Let’s go! I’m NOT excited because life is hard but what better way to distract myself than to do this kind of shit. No one cares, anyways.
Since this is the first one, let me tell you what we’re gonna do here. I’ll include the IMDB summary, a summary with spoilers, the placements in the chart, we’ll go over each item (also, spoilers abound) and finally my review and final thoughts. Yes, it’s gonna be long. Read at your own risk.
IMDB summary:  A young woman, dealing with anorexia, meets an unconventional doctor who challenges her to face her condition and embrace life.
Summary with spoilers: Lily Collins plays Ellen/Eli and from the start of the movie she is on the brink of her disease. She was just kicked out of a recovery center and she gets an appointment with a ~cool unconventional doctor~ played by Keanu Reeves. She goes into ANOTHER inpatient treatment home to be treated by him. Shit happens, she seems to be getting better somehow, but then she spirals down, runs away, and after a... near death experience (I wish this was an euphemism) she decides to try recovery again and goes back to the treatment home. That’s where the movie ends.
Chart placements!
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Now for each item:
White: Ellen or Eli is played by Lily Collins, who once played Sandra Bullock’s daughter in that movie were she was a Karen. It doesn’t get whiter than that.
Female: She changes her name to Eli mid film (which is how I’ll be calling her here bc we respect chosen names in this household) but she still seems to identify as female and be referred to as such, so here we have it. We do have a guy in the treatment home, but we’ll come back to him later.
Teenager/Young adult: I’m pretty sure she is 19 but every review I see says she’s 20. Either way, she dropped out of college even though she just started it. The actress, however, was 28 at the time the movie was released.
Wealthy/seemingly well-off: Her family has the money to send her to inpatient a bunch of times, and they make a point to mention how they have connections so she didn’t have to wait in line to see this new doctor. Case closed.
Skinny actress from the start: As we know, Lily Collins is already thin and she did struggle with anorexia in the past. Why, however, did she lose weight for this movie? They said it was her decision “to make the character more authentic”. As if not being skin and bones wouldn’t be enough. As if eating disorders don’t come in every size. They shouldn’t let her. The need to shock people is a very dangerous sign to me.
No distinctive personality or hobbies/interests: I’m glad Eli has a thing she loves. It’s not super present, but it’s there, and it’s plot relevant. She loves art and in the story, she had a tumblr (look, it’s us!) where she shared drawings related to her ED and a girl liked her drawings so much that, when she killed herself, she mentioned Eli by name in a note. But that isn’t really explored too much and I kind of got disappointed by that.
Good student: We don’t really know about that... and I don’t think it matter, it’s ok.
Seemingly irrelevant love interest: Why? Just why do we need Luke? Luke is the only guy in the home, and we can SEE that he’s only there to be Eli’s love interest. He wasn’t needed. None of the important plot points have anything to do with him. Make her date a girl. Make her date NO ONE. This is about eating disorders. She could have closer friends in the house. Why was this necessary. Her whole speech about how love is a lie could come from a friendship but no. They had to shove pretty white boy there.
Daddy issues (sometimes coupled with mommy issues): I find this extremely funny but her dad isn’t in the movie. At all. He’s alive and well, but he makes a point to never come home when Eli is even awake. I don’t think they cast an actor for that. As for mothers, she has three, and it’s a trip. Her stepmom on her dad’s side is very out of touch but she wants what’s best for Eli, but she really hates Eli’s biological mom. Bio mom, in turn, is described as a “bipolar lesbian” and the stereotypes are just... ugh. Bio mom has a wife and she is a bit weird too. They sent Eli to live with her absent dad bc “they couldn’t deal with it anymore”. This brings us to a great scene where we can see Eli shrinking in her seat and when the psychiatrist asks her what she is feeling she says “I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore. I’m a problem.” And that’s great to see. But at the same time, I hate that her whole issue in this movie seems to come from her family and anorexia is just a thing that happened, with some vague references to control. 
*Triggering event*: We never see it and it’s okay - but I kind of wanted some more explorations of motives because we have ZERO.
Anorexia as diagnosis: As I always say, what is even the point of making a cool looking movie about EDs if your protagonist is not only anorexic, but also terminally anorexic? Ugh. That’s the only portrayal of anorexia that happens in media and I’m fucking tired.
Checklist of habits (manual for those looking for one): I mean, I mark this down but as I always say: everything is a manual if you’re looking for one. But if you’re doing more than not eating or purging or exercising I’ll judge it as a new tip. A lot of us already thought of/did most of them probably. But the marking remains.
Inpatient treatment (or extended hospital stay): As I said, she is kicked out of one treatment center and goes straight into another. What fucks me up is that the movie HAS other characters with other diagnosis, but we never see anything about them. We don’t see their journey. We only know Luke is a dancer bc he is the love interest. We only know Megan is pregnant and then she’s not bc this sends Eli in a spiral. We only know Kendra is not straight bc she makes a joke about it (and Doctor Beckham follows with a horrible joke about conversion therapy). Did you notice Ciara Bravo was in this movie? I didn’t on first viewing. She has like two lines. The whole movie is centered around Eli and every scene in the house feels like all the other patients only care about her too.
Emotional tipping point: Megan loses her baby and for some reason this affects Eli. Luke kisses Eli and for some reason she’s pissed. At that point, I was annoyed. She has a bad session with Doctor Beckham who basically tells her to grow a pair and stop complaining (which is insensitive as a doctor, but as a person I wanted to do the same) and she decides to quit and leave. She has to go to her mother’s home and I’m supposed to care. Stepmom is mad but doctor says she needs to hit rock bottom. She weights like 70 pounds dude. Rock bottom was about ten pounds ago, next stop is a coffin, mate.
Mom hugs: And here we have the emotional turn around of the movie and it’s just... make it make sense. She goes to her bio mom’s ranch. Her stepmom # 2 tells they’ll have therapy with horses (?). Eli goes sleep in a tent and bio mom cries and says she accepts if Eli wants to die. Very supportive I guess. They have this weird bonding moment where the mom feeds her a bottle like a baby and look, if you liked that, good for you, but I don’t get what I was supposed to feel about it (but that’s mom hug #1). She goes on a hike next morning and... dies? Either way she has an out of body experience where she talks to Luke and sees how she looks - which is weird to me. Didn’t we go over this in the beggining of the movie? Didn’t we establish that she does know what she looks like and doesn’t care? But still she seems shocked and they have a cryptical conversation and she wakes up. And just like that, she’s ok now. She meets up with the other stepmom (mom hug # 2) and goes back to the home.
Happy ending: In the last scene Eli is back to the home and we understand she’s going to try to recover for real this time. I’m okay with that specifically, I think it would be bad if they pretended she just got better with no relapses and everything is fine, but it’s a hopeful ending. Despite the fact that we have no idea if she won’t have a fit and leave in two days and that we never know anything about anyone else and Megan, who lost the baby, never comes back. It’s fine. At that point, I didn’t expect much.
Analysis: I was hesitant to be critical bc this movie was based on the real life experiences of the director and Lily Collins. But fuck it, this is my circus and I’ll clown as much as I want. While I do understand that, I have a lot of thoughts.
Mainly, I need to say that while I understand this is her story, this is a story that was told so many times. I’m tired.
The general public that wants to defend the movie says “well you can’t tell ALL stories”, and while I agree, these people probably only saw this movie about the subject. If you HAVE (or had) and eating disorder, you probably saw tons. And they ALL tell the same story. Which is why I started that chart in the first place.
This movie does have good moments. I do like the acting, I saw people complaining about Keanu Reeves performance - but I do know these were people who disliked the movie entirely. I think his performance was great, Lily Collins performance was great, and their chemistry was great. The best scenes in the movie happened between the two of them. The one thing that I LOVED was their first interaction when he calls her on her bullshit. “You’re not thin, you scare people, and I think you like that.” YES. I never heard anyone talk about that. And I guess I’ll never will, bc the movie itself never talk about this again either. Also when she justifies the tumblr where her art triggered a girl so much, she says that she was just drawing what she knows, he calmly tells her that she can draw, but she doesn’t have to share it online tho. I liked their interactions because often ED patients are treated with silk gloves (is that the expression?) and sometimes there is a need for some though love. I also love Liana Liberato who plays her sister and that’s about it.
The problem with the doctor ends up being: what’s his method? How are you going to cure her? The method makes no sense. I don’t see the reasoning. I don’t think anyone does. And somehow it works and she goes back there. 
I think my major problem with the movie is that it has the same issues every ED portrayal before it. It’s the same story again. I think it shines the most in the whole “it’s not about food, it’s about control!”. It IS about food though. For a lot of people, it is. Maybe not for this director or for Lily Collins, but for so many people it is about food. It’s about control as well, and it is possible that there is other factors related to it, but you can’t chalk it all up to a control issue and pretend it’s just whatever. If the food didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be an eating disorder.
Because of that, we have this heavy focus on her family issues and nothing to do with food. We have people trying to rationalize - maybe it’s bc your mom is a lesbian, maybe it’s bc i didn’t bond with you as a baby - and all that does is to make her lesbian bipolar mother seem like a crazy asshole and her dad seem like an absent asshole as if this is the only factor here. Give me SOMETHING. Any connection to food. Any sense. Nope. She just won’t eat bc her family is fucked up. Hoe, that’s all of us.
And I think the movie unintentionally DOES glamourize anorexia. Subtly, yes, but it does. Eli has SUCH an easy time refusing food. She doesn’t seem to think about food as much as she thinks about herself and her family and Luke and being annoying. She knows a bunch of calories and she overexercises. Idk.  Not to mention that moment when Kendra asks her about purging and she says “it’s not her thing”. I mean. It is no one’s thing. No one likes it. It’s a compulsion. And if you have anorexia that severe and you are not with a feeding tube, you do eat every now and then, and you do have purging mechanisms. If she had said she prefers overexercising as a purging mechanism than to throw up, I would believe her. But the movie acts as if she just never eats ever and somehow she’s still standing. Give her a feeding tube then. It would be more believable.
I know it sounds kind of ranty, but my point here is: this extremely anorexic girl, that looks like a sack of bones, and gets that by never eating and doing crunches all the time, it is the wet dream of a fatphobic society with a 71 billion weight loss industry. This is the dreamy and frugal idea of anorexia that people have when they are deep into the illness - not when they recovered as the people involved say they did. I get that this is a very personal project. But it’s flawed. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. It just tells the same story, for the millionth time, but since this time it was in a big platform, more people saw it, and it was better done, with a better budget and with a good enough resolution so I can see every bone in Lily Collins body.
Anyway, that’s it for today. If you read all of that, thanks. Since this is Netflix, I’m assuming everyone saw, but the other movies are out there and if you need liks, hit me up. Be back soon.
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typicalmidnightsoul · 4 years
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ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙʟɪɴᴋ, ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ’ʟʟ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ᴍᴇ - Chapter 1
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝒜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃𝒶
Mafia/Assassin AU 
After the prince of Merchants dies his wife takes up his mantle and his empire of criminals, yet now the government locked his wife in jail but the princess of merchants is too clever to be held down. Nesta ran away from Velaris after Feyre tried to control her. She made a name for herself that people respect but now she is in trouble and her mother demands Feyre to get her back. Cassian goes but the shit she has gotten herself into will take a long time to sort out. one catch though, she has 96 hours to live.
This is for the anon with the request to post this on tumblr <3 my tumblr’s messing up so I couldn’t post it with your message on top but I love you Anon!!!!! Thank you for the request!! I’m glad you enjoyed my story!!!
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“Hey mom.” Feyre pursed her lips at the female in orange in front of here. Adelaide put her handcuffed hands on the table. She signalled to the guard to get out.
“I probably know the answer to this, but why mom did a prison guard just follow your command.”
Adelaide leaned back, “I have most people here on payroll.”
Feyre groaned, “Only because you’re the princess of merchants.”
After their dad died, their mother in desperation took up his mantle, people feared their mother 10 times more then they feared their father.
“Touché. But anyway… Your sister is in danger.”
Feyre sat up, attentive, “Nesta called a couple of days ago and said she was fine.”
Her mother rolled her eyes, “Feyre I am your mother, if you think you can hide the fact that you tried to control Nesta’s life and therefore she ran away from Velaris and is now one of the most dangerous people on the street. Don’t play dumb, Feyre. But whatever I don’t care about that anymore, what matters now is that Nesta is being hunted down by some very bad people, she has come in possession of a substance that is very dangerous.”
“What shall I do?”
“Well, I was going to handle it my way but I know how much that upset you last time…”
Feyre stood up, “The last time you tried to handle things, you killed people…Nesta can handle herself and she won’t like my meddling.”
“You’re gonna risk your sister’s life because you don’t want to upset her?!” She leaned back smirking, “Guess I’ll just have to send my people down there.”
Feyre relented, “Fine, but whichever one of my friends goes, and they’ll tell Nesta that you sent them. And if my friends don’t want to go then I will. But, please, don’t handle this you’re way.”
“Fine. Who are you planning on sending?” Feyre knew that look.
“Ok mother who do you want me to send?”
“Cassian and one of my people.”
Feyre scoffed, “Cassian?! She’ll rip him apart.”
“And he’ll survive. No one else will be able to manage her temper. She’s my daughter, I know her best.”
“Who else are you planning on sending?”
“Jonah. But he’ll join after, on my orders.”
Feyre flinched. Their half-brother whose existence was unknown to her until very recently, he hated Feyre that hate deepened after that issue with Nesta. But he loved Nesta to bits, and Nesta listened to him. Feyre looked up at the mastermind in front of her.
She was going to send Cassian to take the brunt of her anger and Jonah to calm both of them down.
“Fine. I’ll let Cassian know.”
Before she could go her mother stopped her one more time, "Feyre."
"Get your sister back."
----------------
Nesta ran through the depot. She swiped the card given to her by her source to open the door. A card of highest clearance, her mother would have questions.
“Take a left,” Clare spoke into her ear through comms.
“Clare there are billions of trucks in here.”
“The truck you’re looking for is in the far left, serial number is 234 LMX9.”
“Where is everyone else?!”
“You tripped an alarm; they’re knocking out all the guards who saw it. They’re coming now.”
She got out her handgun and shot the trucks locks on the door busting it open as she climbed in an alarm went off.
“Oh shit Nes! One of the guards pressed the alarm before Helion could make the kill.”
“Its fine I’ve got the case. Just tell them all to get their ass down here.”
She heard footsteps; Vassa, Cresseida, Audrey and Helion came down. Their faces had trickles of blood but they were in one piece.
“You’re all idiots. Come on we need to go.”
“Nesta you leave, Hybern is on our tail you need to get out with that.” Audrey said.
“No offence Cuz but I’m not leaving without you. Actually you guys are leaving before me.”
“What why?”
“Because if Beron finds out we just stole from him our shot for going undercover is gone. I’m alone in this now. We regroup later. You guys need to handle the Queens.”
Audrey nodded, “If you don’t get out and I don’t get a call by midnight that you’re safe I’m coming straight back.”
“Fine you witch now gets lost.”
They all piled into the car leaving Nesta. Nesta had one more thing she needed to find. She went back inside, and pocketed the pen drive that she had plugged into the computer in the front cabin.
As she was leaving a blast caused her to smack down against the wall. She groggily got to her feet, reaching for her briefcase.
“Welcome. Dagdan and Brannagh at your service. What do the call you?”
Nesta slid up her black mask, covering her face,
“They call me Athena.”
She turned both guns out of their holster and shooting the 6 people she saw, she got nicked by one of their bullets. She hissed. She wasn’t outnumbered she could take them on. But the risk of the…
They wanted the brief case. She turned her hand and shot the light board making the whole depot dark.
She ran into a small corner to buy herself time.
“Come out, come out where ever you are,” Brannagh’s sweet voice carried itself to her. They were getting close.
She opened the brief case and eyed the green liquid with blue streaks going through it. She could hear them getting closer. Without another doubt she pushed the syringe inside her.
The feeling was earth wrenching, It was horrifying, like she was being remade.
She ran for the exit, leaving the briefcase. Brannagh had seen the brief case and called her brother over.
“She knows what’s good for her. She left it.”
“Wait,” Brannagh ordered, she opened it, “Shit! The bitch took it herself. Call up Hybern and tell him.
Athena took the Cauldron.”
------------
She couldn’t keep on running, she had to call Clare, Audrey, someone who…she fell and the last blurry image she saw was black timberland boots walking to her.
She woke up her head thudding against something.
“You do that again and you’ll give yourself brain damage.”
She looked at the ceiling-no roof of a car. A car she recognised.
“What the fuck are you doing here Cassian?!”
She heard the doors lock; she tried to open them to no use.
”Let me out!!”
He looked at her in the rear view mirror.
”never thought I’d have to use the child lock on you sweetheart.”
”Let. Me. Out.”
”No can do mummy’s orders.”
Her face softened, “my mom sent you.”
He hesitated then nodded. She dragged a hand through her hair.
”i need to go and see someone. Clare or someone-“
Pure rage took over his features and he braked the car so hard that Nesta almost fell. He got out of the car and climbed into the back, pulling Nesta against him.
“As I see it Nesta you have two options, 1) you co-operate and I take you to the safe house or 2) you don’t and I handcuff you to this car till you do?”
She tilted her head, “You’re angry. Why?”
“Because you left. You left and made a name for yourself that will either get you respect or get you killed.”
“You told me to leave. You TOLD me.”
“I did not think you’d actually do it.”
“Well then you should’ve known better.”
They stayed like that for a while, breathing raggedly, until Cassian
Said, “I need you to make a decision, Nesta.”
“Fine I’ll go with you. But you will regret it.”
“We’ll see.”
“I’m also sitting in the passenger seat.”
“Do as you please.”
She climbed through the middle of the two seats and into the           passenger seat. He rolled his eyes and went back outside grabbing something from the boot before going back into the driver’s seat. He dropped a Burberry barrel bag into Nesta’s lap saying, “I talked to Clare before coming here. She packed it for you. It has your phone, charger, clothes and god knows what else.”
She sifted through it wondering what she had done to deserve a friend like Clare. She tried her phone, no charge.
She looked at Cassian’s phone that lay in the middle of them.
“Go ahead.” He said reading her thoughts.
She turned it on, “Passcode.”
“260369.” She tried to hide her shock at him giving her his passcode with no hesitation.
She scrolled through his contacts trying to find Audrey. It rang twice.
“Hey Cassian what’s up.”
“Auj! It’s Nesta.”
“Oh my god! Where are you?! Are you with Cassian? What happened?”
“Long story short: It’s safe with me, I’m in a bit of a mess, Cassian was sent by mom to do god knows what.”
“Where are you guys going?”
“I…don’t know.” She looked at Cassian who gestured that he’ll send it to her, “Cassian says he’ll send it to you.”
“Ok, keep safe, love you, and call me when you get there.”
“Yeah ok, Love you too, bye.”
She started taking her holsters off and getting comfortable. Cassian leaned back and got his coat that was covering Nesta when she was sleeping in the back. Nesta looked down her sleeve was ripped. The bullet wound taken care of. He put his coat over her.
“We have another one hours journey ahead of us.”
“I’m not tired.” But she didn’t take his coat off.
“Well then what do you want to do.”
“Depends. Do you have Spotify?”
He chuckled and handed his phone over. She reached down into the barrel bag her earphones and got out two frappe’s she silently put Cassian’s one between them and opened hers plugging her earphones in.
He tried to keep his smile to himself.
-------
Nesta had fallen asleep for the last 15 minutes of the journey, him taking out her earphones for her. He texted Jonah that they were at the safe house to which Jonah gave a four word answer.
Ok. Keep her safe.
The amount of love he had for Nesta and the amount of hate he had for Feyre and Elain were unimaginable. He chuckled.
“Nes.” He shook her, “We’re here. Sweetheart.”
She groaned something about letting her sleep.
He rolled his eyes. He got out of the car and picked her up. She snuggled closer to him. He smiled down softly at her peaceful face.
He took her inside to his room and placed her in between the sheets. He took off the knee high heeled boots she wore and tucked her in.
He took off his shirt and slung it on a chair; he took a shower before heading to go to sleep in the guest room.
Coming up Next
“I have 96 hours to live.”
“What?!”
“Probably why Jonah is getting worried.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“My mother wouldn’t send you if she didn’t have a plan.”
“What were you gonna do?”
“A friend of mine, Thesan, he is a doctor. Well a bit more than that.”
He looked at her and picked up his newspaper. She decided she wanted to ditch her clothes and instead of getting her own she took his shirt and worn her knee high black boots. Apparently she needed to take a shower anyway so instead of dirtying her clothes why not his. He on the other hand was shirtless which seemed to have no effect on her while walking around in his clothes definitely had an effect on him. She studied him.
“What?”
“I’m trying to figure out what would happen if you’re ex walked in and saw us like this.”
“My-wh-who are you talking about?!”
“Morrigan.”
“She’s not my ex.”
“The one night stand you’re still hung up over then.” She laughed, “You’d try to hide me. Wouldn’t you?”
He grabbed her wrist pulling her closer, “No sweetheart I actually wouldn’t.”
“Well then what would you do.”
“You wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed for starters.”
“Yeah whatever.” She left to change.
-------------------
Tags: @skychild29​ @aesthetics-11​
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jcmorrigan · 4 years
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In Defense of Archibald Snatcher
Oh, wow, we’re coming up on almost the sixth anniversary of The Boxtrolls, my favorite film of all time, and though the fandom for it seems to be either dead or in hibernation, I still have the torch lit.
I actually have been of the mindset of the opinion/s I’m about to present here for all those six years, but never really thought it prudent to lay them out until I recently had a friend I was recommending the film to who I warned about some of the elements considered “problematic” and I offhandedly mentioned that I could do a whole essay about why they don’t bother me and said friend replied with a desire to want to hear it because we share infodump for infodump, so here we go, I’m poking the hornet’s nest surrounding a controversial film with a dead fandom.
But if you were on Tumblr back in the heyday, you might’ve seen the reaction to this film when it first debuted. Specifically, what a lot of people honed in on wa that the villain, Archibald Snatcher, employed a dragsona to be able to push his agenda and implement his evil scheme. There was outrage. There were accusations. There was lambasting. And above it all, one question hovers: was this transphobic?
I want to start, before we get into the weeds, by saying that if you are anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and you were offended by this film or this character, your experiences are completely valid. I’m about to present the counterargument in language that assumes my take is fact for the purpose of not having to write fifty thousand clunky disclaimers, but analytical as this may be, it IS an opinion, and if you don’t think it’s right, then hey, that’s super valid, and I’m not gonna try and change your mind, because if you’re hurt, then you’re hurt! You just may want to nope out of this post right now because I’m about to lay out my observations and thoughts to the contrary of the accusations of this being homo/transphobic.
First of all, the obvious facet that comes to mind is how strange it is that we only ever saw the word “transphobia” put on this phenomenon rather than “homophobia” when using a female alter ego as a disguise or a performance art is not the same as being a woman assigned male at birth. One only needs to take a look over at RuPaul’s Drag Race to see examples of this culture. Lots of gay men wearing dresses. No women perceived male.
All the same, I will say that on the surface, adding any kind of queercoding to the story’s villain, who the audience is supposed to boo and hiss at, looks really, really bad on paper. However you interpret it, Snatcher is definitely queercoded. He openly flirts with the man he’s trying to trick as a means of getting what he wants, he displays sincere enjoyment of wearing the dress, and he runs the gamut of flamboyant hand gestures. But if you dig a little further, there’s even more to the story: his tale is one of a man who desires to pass as one of the elite class in his society, but is held back by something he can’t change about himself no matter how he denies it.
Let’s look at the rest of his story. Snatcher is in pursuit of the White Hat: the ultimate status symbol. To that end, he’s decided to otherize the Boxtroll population of the town and play upon the culture shock in Cheesebridge to convince the humans of the “upper world” that the Boxtrolls are predatory monsters who must be killed. This sounds like a pretty black-and-white good-and-evil scenario, right? You’ve got your population of innocent sweethearts being attacked and your genocidal racist orchestrating their destruction. But there’s a third layer still: Lord Portley-Rind, the chief White Hat himself. Lord PR is actually the worst of the lot. It’s because he doesn’t accept Snatcher that Snatcher feels he has to resort to this tactic. He demonstrates open hatred of the Boxtrolls and of Snatcher (”I’m not sure who should be more worried: the Boxtrolls or us!”). There are implications in how he treats his daughter that he’s a textbook sexist who believes there are men’s roles and women’s roles in society and nary the twain shall cross. And he’s the rich guy controlling the entire city and letting children’s hospitals and crumbling bridges go to waste by spending the budget on frivolous cheese. In short, Lord PR is basically the ur-example of a nightmarish fictional Republican (and oh, how I WISH he hadn’t been so prophetic).
I’m not saying Snatcher was justified or good. No. He’s in no way redeemable. But over the course of his interactions with Lord PR, you can see just how much society’s elites treat him as inhuman or like a dirty buffoon. He’s looked down upon, he’s insulted even when he’s doing the “service” Lord PR desires, he’s rejected until he’s gone above and beyond his contract and I think it’s even a little bit implied that Lord PR would’ve reneged on the whole deal if the mob hadn’t cheered for Snatcher in the end. So what you have is a prim and proper billionaire who subscribes to gender roles telling a man of the lower class, obviously economically downtrodden, that he doesn’t deserve what Lord PR has.
The idea of meritocracy is woven throughout the film. Listening to the speech in the background of Snatcher’s anaphylactic attack, while the visuals are focused on Eggs rescuing Fish, you can hear Snatcher rambling about how his father told him that if you work hard, you will receive a White Hat, but he worked hard all his life and got nothing. One of the White Hats literally says he got his through being rich. It’s not hard to infer that Snatcher has figured out how broken the system is and realized the only way to win the game is to cheat.
But there’s still one more thing holding him back from his victory, something that actually trips him up when he achieves what he wanted. Cheese is presented as another status symbol: the rich eat it and are connoisseurs of its flavor. Snatcher is deathly allergic to it. The goal he’s chasing, he can’t even have without threat to his own life. His reaction is to pretend he isn’t allergic and to expose himself to having allergic reactions on the regular to show how much he’s ready to become part of the elites. I’ll reiterate: Archibald Snatcher wants to join the elites, but is held back because of something about himself he cannot change that only matters because the upper crust said it should.
Okay. So we’ve established the man is gay, or somewhere on the queer spectrum. How is this not really, really horrible?
Because the narrative invites you to feel some sympathy for him. No, not for his actions or any secret soft side or tragic backstory (that’s a job for the fans), but because he is chasing a dream he cannot attain. Perhaps the film’s biggest shortcoming is how little consequence comes to Lord PR in the end, because Lord PR, for all intents and purposes, is the worse villain on the board. Snatcher’s ploy is to take the class below the one he inhabits and paint its members as the bad guys: a nuisance that must be exterminated for the betterment of society. And we’ve seen this. We’ve seen plenty of real-life examples of have-nots turning on have-lessers because the haves benefit from oppressed groups infighting and being distracted from who holds the money and the power. A lot of times, you see that while intersectionality is definitely something we need to pay attention to, racism, sexism, and homophobia are not concepts that are all explicitly linked. If you experience one, that doesn’t mean you don’t project one or two of the others on other people - particularly if you’re trying to make yourself feel better about the discrimination you face.
When you look at the hierarchy, Snatcher is, I reiterate, a very bad person. But he’s also a victim. Not as much of a victim as the poor Boxtrolls, who get the malice trickling down from both the Red Hats and the White Hats, but he is a victim. We see him mocked, laughed at, turned away. And though he’s not redeemable, there are aspects in which he is sympathetic.
But what about Frou Frou? What about that particular disguise?
Well, for one, it’s used to make yet another allegorical statement. Snatcher is able to get attention paid to him if he weaponizes female sexuality - though it is a very shallow attention that largely results in the straight men of the town swallowing his propaganda while also objectifying him. Most of the comments made on Frou Frou are slimy, smarmy “compliments” on her body from the White Hats. Lord PR’s wife harbors a distinct distaste for Frou Frou because her husband most certainly prefers ogling Frou Frou to actually paying attention to their marriage. Frou Frou is a propaganda vehicle to make it look like more than one person is on the same page as Snatcher; Snatcher himself drives the action of his scheme and gets the dirty work done.
It’s also worth noting that if you take away the implications, villains using alter egos to trick their nemeses is a tale as old as time, from sea witch Ursula making herself more supermodel-esque in order to marry the prince to mythological Loki actually crossdressing much in the same vein in order to fool the Frost Giants. There’s a reason disguise masters and shapeshifters are intriguing villain archetypes: because we’re always a little bit afraid that someone isn’t who they say they are, and because - yeah, I’m about to go here - I think we all wish we could shift shape ourselves to take on new forms that suit the goals we’re trying to accomplish, even if that means “fooling” others. So it’s reasonable to think Laika wasn’t aware that there was any queercoding to even be had here - but I do think the crew was aware, and not in a malicious way.
However, watching Snatcher’s scenes as Frou Frou, there’s something that comes across in his character that you don’t see so often when he’s presenting male: he’s legitimately having fun. He dances, he flirts with the crowd, he adds more flourishes to his speech, he gets sassy. Frou Frou is a means for him to express himself, to allow himself to be feminine when he has built his philosophy on needing to do “what a man does” (he repeats this at least twice) in order to achieve greatness. He can be a little more himself when he’s Frou Frou, even though Frou Frou isn’t him. Taking a new identity that’s allowed the other half of the gender roles allowed in Cheesebridge (which runs on a binary because it’s run by the White Hats) lets him act a little less like what he needs to be to be taken seriously and a little more like he has freedom.
Put this back in context of the greater narrative: given all the parallels we’ve seen, it’s safe to assume that Cheesebridge, as a whole, is not accepting of deviations from gender roles, whether it’s being open and proud of your LGBTQ+ identity or simply wearing the clothes that don’t belong to your gender. Snatcher is taking an enormous gamble here by using Frou Frou at all. On one hand, it’s a calculated risk; he knows if he can appeal to Lord PR’s unchecked sexist libido, he can secure another avenue to being heard. On the other, however, it’s not really much of a leap to say this is something he wants to do, someone he wants to be more like, and isn’t allowed to, and since he’s cheating at the game anyway, he might as well go all the way and do what he wants with his life.
I’ve seen a lot of people take issue with the scene where he reveals himself to Lord PR and comparing it to some actual homophobic/transphobic media. And again, if that still stands to you as your primary analysis and emotional reaction, then feel free to turn away, reject my analysis, and know your thoughts and feelings are completely valid. But I think this scene differs from your usual “person with male parts tricked you into thinking they were a woman” scene in a couple ways.
For one, Snatcher decides to out himself on his own. To Lord PR, it’s when he’s got nothing left to lose. Again, when he realizes the game is broken and the odds are against him, he takes control and decides to be himself a little more. Now everyone knows he likes to act a dragsona because he wanted them to. But also, earlier on, when he revealed himself to Eggs, it was again on purpose. Eggs didn’t figure him out. Snatcher needed Eggs to know the level of the threat he was dealing with: that he was the person Eggs has been running from since the start and is no less dangerous in a dress. It’s always been of his own volition. There’s no “I thought you knew” or disrobing to see a body that doesn’t match expectations - Eggs ripping Snatcher’s wig off is maybe a little iffier, but again, in context, that’s him trying to show Snatcher’s identity, not as a man but as Archibald Snatcher, to expose the corruption, and Snatcher actually plays it completely off because he’s that good of an actor.
Which brings me to my second point. There’s only one person who reacts in an “Oh, gross!” manner to this revelation, and it’s Lord Portley-Rind. The one we’ve established is sexist, homophobic, and your textbook Rich White Straight Cis Man. The one at the top of the food chain. The one who’s been objectifying Snatcher and acting like a slobbering pervert about Frou Frou from the beginning. The homophobe realizes he has been a little gay. The sexist realizes his objectifying a particular person he perceived female has consequences. And this is why to me, that scene is actually hilarious. Because I don’t feel like I’m laughing at Snatcher’s expense. I’m laughing because Lord PR just got called OUT, and this is exactly the kind of discomfort that is karmic given how he’s treated his daughter, his wife, and everyone in his city who’s needed him.
Cycling back to when Snatcher outs himself at the ball, Eggs doesn’t really seem to care that there’s a gender-role-play involved here. His concern is not that this is actually a man; his concern is that it’s specifically the person who he knows is trying to ruin everything. Same with Winnie when Eggs passes it on. Eggs trying to reveal Snatcher to the crowd doesn’t even begin with “Frou Frou is fake,” but a line I will never forget: “Archibald Snatcher has lied to you all.” Not even drawing attention yet to the fact that he’s in the room. Starting out by having everyone remember that guy they are all sure ISN’T there and pointing out he’s bad news.
To look at Lord Portley-Rind’s “Oh my God! I regret so much!” as a dig at Snatcher is to say that Lord Portley-Rind is the lens through which we should be viewing this story, which it most certainly isn’t. The lens is Eggs and Winnie. Adjacent lenses are Fish, Shoe, and Jelly. Lord Portley-Rind is an antagonist to every single character in this film save the other White Hats.
Which is why if this film falls flat anywhere, it’s in letting Lord Portley-Rind get away without consequence. I think I can take a guess as to why this primarily happened: it needed to wrap up in a little under two hours, and dismantling systematic oppression and abuse of socioeconomic power can’t be done in a two-hour escapade. I still wish he were at least villainized a little more, as that’s where the narrative was leading up to that point. One of his earliest scenes with Winnie foreshadows that he will have to choose between her and the hat, and it takes him two tries to make the right choice. This story, until the very last act, has not supported him being a character to like or sympathize with, even in such subtle ways as Trout and Pickles stealing his hat and running around with it to taunt Snatcher - showing that a symbol is really only a symbol, and doesn’t indicate your worth. Anyone can put on a hat. Lord PR has just been brought onto an equal footing with them, if only for a moment.
Okay, so why have this whole three-layer narrative anyway? Couldn’t we have made this story more clear-cut between the Boxtrolls and White Hats, with no queercoded villain to get in between?
Yes...but I’m not sure that would have been best for the viewing audience. And there’s plenty of precedent as to why Laika thought it was a move for the better.
Queercoded villains are in every aspect of our fictional and fandom lives. Here’s a bitter pill to swallow: all your favorite Disney villains are queercoded. All of them. “But Frollo’s arc is about - “ Being a man in a religious system afraid of being tainted as sinful for being attracted to the wrong person. “Gaston, though, is - “ Very chummy with LeFou, and I’m talking the animated versions. They’re all colorful, flamboyant, foppish for the men and full of socially-unacceptable strength for the women. These were the cornerstones of our childhood nostalgia and characters we still feel culturally attached to.
It’s not just in Disney. Are you a fan of musical theater? Well, then your favorite villain probably got a big song and dance in which they wore some glitter. Classic lit? Google the name of your favorite literary canon villain and “queer theory” and see what happens.
I don’t think we can really say this is good or bad. On one hand, it’s not great that a marginalized group can only see themselves in the character we’re supposed to hate. On the other, though, we don’t always hate that character. Villains hold a unique place in our culture. They do bad things, horrible things, but the story can’t take place without a conflict, and we like when that conflict has a name and a cool design such as a tall, imposing sorcerer/witch in flowing robes - or perhaps a tall, graceful man in a long red coat and a towering crooked top hat.
I’ve had lots of friends and trusted Internet reviewers talking about how queercoding in villains can actually be really empowering. If you’re a fan of the villain, you get to see a power fantasy in which someone who has something very big in common with you gets to enact karma on others for wronging them! You get to wear the cool robes, sing the fun song, do things that are not really legal or acceptable! I think a great analogy is if you check out the book “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers” by Sady Doyle. It’s primarily about sexism rather than queer issues (though it does touch upon them!), but examines how women throughout pop culture and storytelling history have always been the witch, the monster, the demon, and how that sucks, but it also means that women have a great pile of fictional power fantasies to pick from to indulge in. It’s the same principle. I myself may not be same-gender-attracted, but I am asexual, and still waiting on my glamorous villain who uproots society as revenge for being forced to do something analogous to having a sexual relationship...*taps wristwatch*
Meanwhile, queercoding is not as prevalent in heroes. And I think that’s where everything’s tripping on its own feet. Because a gay villain among a bunch of straight heroes does look pretty bad. Are some of the heroes queercoded as well, though? Well, that’s just realistic diversity. People are gay, and there happen to be some good ones and some evil ones here. I don’t think Snatcher’s dragsona is entirely unproblematic, but I do think it could have been mitigated a lot with more implications that Eggs and Winnie might be queer in some way (and believe me, I choose to interpret them that way, because the more the merrier).
The thing is that in pop culture as of late, there seems to be a trend to scrub away all villainous queercoding because it’s seen as a black-and-white issue. To go back to the Disney villains, do you feel like the live-action recreations of Jafar, Scar, and Gaston are missing a certain je ne sais quoi? Well, think about it through this lens and it might be that you savez quoi after all. They’ve all been made incredibly straight as of late, with off-the-record actor confirmations about having obsessive crushes on the film heroines. I can’t speak to why this has happened; there’s a lot of history behind any given social movement, and I haven’t managed to really unpack this one. “Blame Tumblr” is too easy; I would want to know who were the loudest voices, why they said what they said, and what was the intended accomplishment, not to mention if this had built on other social-media or real-life platforms over the years and was influenced by any outside source by news or marketing. I can’t say why queercoded villains are being burned; I can only say it’s happening. And it was happening big-time in 2014, when The Boxtrolls was released.
I also feel like I would be remiss to mention that The Boxtrolls is based on “Here Be Monsters,” which I believe to be one of the worst books I’ve ever read, bar none. That version of the story has...pretty much everything that’s perceived to be in the film version’s text as problematic. Frou Frou is presented as something to laugh at Snatcher about throughout, largely because everything about Snatcher is presented to make him seem gross or like a buffoon. There’s a whole scene of the hero rifling through his desk to find soiled underwear. Not to mention that the original purpose of Frou Frou in the text was to manipulate the town’s women by dictating the fashion trends they should follow and the beliefs they should hold in order to fit in. This is something that does need commentary on it, but in that text in particular, it seems like the women are silly and easily swayed, and that they’re the town’s weak link because they’re slaves to fashion. The Boxtrolls completely flips this around so that the town’s weak link re: Frou Frou is the rich MEN who objectify women, particularly the men that happen to be in charge of the whole town, and looking at that divide alone tells me how much care was put into this adaptation at every level.
So why’d I do this, besides having a friend who wanted to read it? Because Archibald Snatcher is legitimately one of my favorite fictional characters. Yeah, I know, he’s a horrible person and terribly racist, and no, I don’t think his demonizing an entire people is anything to be emulated. But on one hand, there are places where I not only empathize but identify with him, particularly where it comes to living out the majority of one’s life trying to live up to a meritocracy - I did everything right, so why am I not on top? He’s also just fun and satisfying to me. He’s the exact brand of evil I eat up. He’s quippy, flamboyant, sadistic to a point, and altogether enjoying his job way too much. Even though he isn’t in power all that long, he is a power fantasy for me, too - wishing I had his talent to talk my way into others’ hearts by saying the right thing, and maybe cultivating a little bit of that I didn’t realize I had (but not to use for evil purposes). I loved him from the moment he turned up because of his sheer dynamic presence - his drawn-out vowels, his sinister smile, his silver-tongued manipulations - and to this day I find him an inspiring character when it comes to writing fiction, both in the realms of fanfiction and original villain creation. You could say he’s a comfort character to me. And maybe this has been the delusional rambling of a woman trying to protect a character she likes for surface reasons by spelling out what look like analytical points of discussion.
But I don’t think Laika was trying to be mean-spirited or homo/transphobic in their character creation. I think they were trying to make an engaging villain who had some layers you could pick at to see more about the narrative as a whole and the message of societal corruption and how the way to overcome it is to be true to yourself rather than defined by your status: a lesson Snatcher fails at the finish line when Eggs gives him one last chance to “make you.” And ultimately, if you really and truly did like Archibald Snatcher, you’re not wrong or invalid in the least.
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