#seeing as BTS is already in business for longer than ten years

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/744229316524638208/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7441242442675322?source=share

I know you're a relatively new fan, Rain so this isn't aimed at you or anyone who wasn't here then or took a different stance than the one I'm calling out (including OP if it applies) but I wonder where all these voices where when we were calling for a boycott when Bang decided he was going to piss all over BTS work with the UN and take BTS to Saudi Arabia to help participate in the whitewashing of crimes there, especially those towards Yemeni people who BTS were campaigning for one minute and dancing for the benefit of princes and politicians committing atrocities against them the next.

Where have y'all been since then? What's keeping y'all from talking about and calling out that, even now?

If we're going to do this then can we at least expand the moral outrage to everywhere that it applies? Because the decision over Saudi would have been the prime time to cut the monsters head off before it got too greedy and gained too much power but it was near impossible to have our voices heard back then without facing vitriol, doxxing and abuse.

I really hope this boycott works, I do, although I fear it's too little too late at this point because this fandom in general already sent Bang PD a big fat message that anything goes when they shut down protest over Saudi Arabia.

HYBE doesn't give a flying fuck about our opinion because they know they don't have to. I don't judge anyone who feels like the machine is too big at this point or that protests and boycotts won't land where they should and hurt the people they should because its ARMY who have already long laid the foundation for that kind of perspective and not only built the sandpit for men like Bang PD but guarded the gates for him to play in it. Now I see a lot of blame shifting towards newer fans who came into this shit already jaded and knowing what kind of company they were dealing with and at a time when that company has already grown way out of control because fans who had a better chance of forcing a difference before HYBE got to big for their boots didn't want to act.

So if you're a fan reading this or responding to these asks who was in the fandom back then and weren't calling for the same response or are STILL not acknowledging what it meant for BTS to perform in Saudi Arabia then you're a hypocrite and you are in no place to be throwing stones at glass houses now about how people do or don't act. Not until you accept your own responsibility, at least.

And I know y'all hypocrites exist because I've seen some very familiar names on socials calling for action now who were very active in telling the rest of us to shut up and stop complaining then.

And if you were here for the Saudi controversy but are surprised now then I fail to see how because the writing has been clear on the wall since then that Bighit, HYBE and everyone behind the BTS machine were never willing to put their money where their mouth is and the charity work was performative, from the company perspective at least.

If you really got shocked and swerved over Palestine and HYBE getting into bed with the likes of Sc**ter B*aun then you haven't been paying attention to exactly who you've been giving your money to all these years since.

You've already been helping to expand HYBE's greed and influence and whitewash genocide in Saudia Arabia with every album or bit of merch you've bought since. Sc**ter didn't infect HYBE with some sort of 'not giving a shit' disease...birds of a feather flock together. That's how the entertainment industry works in general. If you're looking for clean hands or wholesome billionaires then you're looking in the wrong place. You might as well boycott everything you own and consume that isnt produced by a small or independent business. If you thought that's what you were getting with HYBE even before Sc**ter then...lol.

If y'all want to criticise, try accepting your own complicity and inaction in letting it get this far in the first place.

I personally haven't been buying BTS content for a while now because I don't agree with HYBE's corporate model but if you are one of those people reading this and seething on your Apple Iphone, writing a response from your Apple Mac Computer while sipping a Pepsi and wearing your fave sweatshop sweatshirt that you bought from Amazon who were telling us to sit down and shut up when it came to Saudi Arabia then I hope you are feeling pretty shitty right now because what HYBE has been allowed to grow into and is beating people with an even bigger stick is partly your own fault so who TF are you to criticise anyone from your perch when you had a much clearer perspective of their long game?

Hi anon!

Thanks for this contribution. Army has its own history aside from BTS, and it’s way harder to grasp that in its entirety because it’s not documented clearly (as opposed to BTS).

On this note I’ll leave this discussion for now.

#fandom shenanigans #things to consider #is that bts is not Hybe’s only source of income #and chances are #that hybe is already making a plan for who they will push to the front next #seeing as BTS is already in business for longer than ten years #which is already really really long for a boyband #and also #change often really starts to happen from the inside #and i’ll bet a whole lot on members going to be playing important roles in the future of kpop/music #they will be the people who take over when the conservative ones have gone

[bumblebwii]

Louder Than Bombs

BTS x The Walking Dead

(Part one)

Yoonkook - Jungkook Centric - morally grey Jungkook (the apocalypse is difficult, okay?)

<3K words >4K words

The smell of gunpowder and wet mud clung in Jungkook’s nose, it was far from pleasant but had served to be a much nicer aroma than that of the dead. Flesh - rotting and raw - had to be one of the most disgusting smells on planet earth. Jungkook was sure that if times were different and he could be picky he’d revert to a strict vegetarian diet. 

He would visit the store freely, loudly, explicitly and he’d grab one of the trollies with a now-dead joy, even if it had squeaky wheels that barely rolled in a straight line, and fill it with fresh fruits and vegetables, puddings - lots of puddings - he’d buy shower gels that smelled like heaven in a bottle, laundry detergent that made him feel safe and warm and he’d pay at the till with the largest grin on his face; thank the cashier, wish them well and be sincere about it. If times were different, he’d rush the food home so it didn’t go bad, wrestle his bike out of the little shed he had in his garden and head to the gym, spend an hour or so there before he’d head back home and message around to see if any of his friends were busy because he’d finally got a day off. 

If things were different, Jungkook wouldn’t take the little things for granted. But things were not different, everything had reached its terminus, an end to those little segments of euphoria; an end to mankind as he once knew it. He probably wouldn’t last much longer, it was morbid but he’d grown to accept it, everyone in an apocalypse is just simply waiting to die; procrastinating the inevitable because humans could never really process abruptness. 

Jungkook knew he’d die soon. If the living-dead didn’t get him, and the living-living left him be, then the hunger would take him out. He was surprised that it hadn’t already, he often ate not nearly enough or things that were so past its sell-by date that in the world before he’d have thrown it away in fear of food poisoning. Let it rot and mould over in some rubbish heap far away, wasteful but out of sight and out of mind. 

The greens and browns of the forest were bright and refreshing, it was more life than Jungkook had seen in a year. A year. Jungkook could hardly believe the time that’d passed him by. A whole year since he’d lost everything he held dear to him, a year since the dead no longer stayed dead. A year since humanity died. A year since he watched the world darken like paper held tauntingly at the breadth of a flame. 

The forested mountain range around him provided shelter; hid him from any potential threats but also hid the nightmares that lurked in the dark corners, the threats that he needed to see. Jungkook learned that the hard way over the past year; the bullet wound in his thigh was proving to be a scarlet revision card of the dangers that came with roaming the forest at the end of the world. Jungkook had travelled the country to get here, here to Busan. He’d be damned if he’d be taken out just as he arrived. The gun in his hand was heavy as he raised it to shoot.

He had lived sneaking around Korea alone for the past ten months, but originally started the first two months of this whole apocalypse malarkey with his boyfriend and brother. Jungkook had no sense of survival back then; could hardly hold his own weight, never mind a gun, he hadn’t been a threat to anyone but he pretended to be so he could become something of a rock for their terrified trio. A leader. Bluffing your way through an apocalypse was not wise. It was dangerous and risky because it was curtains if someone called your bluff. Granted, bluffing helped so much more than Jungkook gave it credit and he eventually could stop pretending. Although, by that point, he was alone and his heart had been consumed by the fall of humanity. 

Jungkook remembers the day he was separated from the two most important people in his life. There were strangers trying to grow their group because safety was in numbers, mercilessness and strength, they’d offered to band together, said they liked the strength and stubbornness, but Jungkook didn’t trust them - he may have hated zombie movies but he knew well enough that stranger danger was intensified in an apocalypse. Jungkook couldn’t forget the narrowed eyes of whom he’d placed as their leader or the way his cheeks dimpled when he spoke and made a very contrasting attribute for a man of such intimidation, the stranger had power and planning, whoever he was, he definitely did not have to bluff like Jungkook did. 

They’d all been milling around, too afraid to turn their backs on each other, it was no surprise when the hoard showed up, growling and groaning, a haunting noise that echos in his ears every time he tries to sleep. They let themselves be stupidly unaware for just a fraction of time and then they were surrounded. 

He remembers catching one of the strangers huddling beside his brother, weaponless and terrified; Jungkook remembers the tears in the man’s eyes and the shaking in his hands. Jungkook trusted them at that moment, the group of strangers, that is, he realised that they were equals just trying to procrastinate the painfully slow process that was death. He thought it would be alright from there, there was safety in these people, they could survive together, they could trust each other. They were human, not yet the walking dead. 

It was a small hoard to begin with, one they could tackle easily but there was a second wave stumbling not too far behind, lured in by the sounds of them all fighting. They fought together, bathing each other in clotted, rotting blood, the thick and sticky half liquid-half solid matter clung to everything like dead weight - literally - but at that moment, Jungkook hadn’t cared, he was too focused on getting Yoongi and Jimin and the lost looking stranger into safety. 

Jungkook needed to be that one person he knew he’d shout at if he were to watch the scene play out on the television, because this was his reality now and he understood those foolish people on the screen. He needed to make some kind of escape for these people, otherwise they’d get too tired and all this fighting would be for nothing because they would be eaten anyway. 

Jungkook remembers calling for everyone to head up the fire exit right beside them, remembers holding back a cry as he ran past it, hitting the top of a dumpster and began yelling, “keep going! Keep climbing! I’ll keep them distracted!” Jungkook’s heart hammered away in his chest like the drums of a heroic death. He needed to keep the dead’s attention on him so they would not grab at them as they climbed the ladders, but he was not going to die today, not a chance.

The hoard - about thirty of the dead - were quick, hissing as they stretched out their decomposing hands in close attempts of grabbing him, Jungkook was getting tired; struggling to keep his stamina in check. Jungkook realised he was stuck pretty quickly and groaned outwardly, this is why he hates these characters, this is why bluffing his way through the apocalypse was not a good idea. 

Once he had lured them into the corner, he pushed the dumpster around to trap as many as he could before swinging his bat at whatever was left, but it was not enough and he fell, buried beneath gnashing teeth and rotten flesh. They were heavy and Jungkook cried out in a whirlwind of emotions but managed to use the kitchen knife in his hand to stab at the two above him before using the last string of strength to push them off and cursed the government for having the strict gun laws he had once admired.

He ran to the fire exit, unscathed and shaken, but stopped when the ladder was gone and the others were looking over the edge of the building. Jungkook cursed and ran to the next one, climbing quickly to reach the top. He had not expected to be met with a gun barrel, that had probably been stolen from the military sites, poised hauntingly at his glabellar once he had clambered to safety. “I don’t think so. We saw you go down. You've been bitten.” 

The memories from there fade a little, between getting shot in the side - the angle of the shot skewed by his brother’s intervention and Jungkook waking up, covered in dust and blood beneath the rubble of the shop he had been standing above. At that time, he was sure he’d been reanimated - he sure felt like he had, the pain was unbearable -  but once he came to, he knew he was alive, breathing, oxygenated, full of coherent senses and he had called out to anything, anyone above him, supposing it’d been no more than a few minutes and they’d be there to get him anytime soon. He had waited patiently, painfully using whatever he could to keep the slice along his hip clean, and the bullet wound uninfected but as minutes turned into a day and a day turned into a week, he knew they were not coming. They had abandoned him after he had risked his life to keep them alive. 

For Jungkook, God - though he had never really been religious - had died and so had the only people in his life that he had left to love. Jungkook was alone and if he wanted to survive, he needed to move. So he left, forced his healing body to heal quicker, scavenged, learned how to survive alone, began to understand weaponry and bittered his heart for survival of the fall of humanity over the course of ten months.  

Jungkook, who bluffed his way through absolutely anything and everything was dead too, he was still wasting away on that deserted shop floor, hoping that his long lost love would return to him. This Jungkook, the one calculating his next move, this Jungkook was a killer. Cold blooded, maniacal almost. He had become the walking dead. Sly, malicious, tactical in everything he did. This Jungkook had a rebirth, he was no longer the feeble caterpillar writhing around on the nearest leaf, he was a moth stuck in a person’s ear canal, dirty and irritating, awaiting the next host he could feed off of whilst simultaneously eating away the flesh around him. 

Yoongi and Jimin were dead to Jungkook, it was what kept him moving, they were no longer there to weigh Jungkook down and pull him into tough situations like the last one they were in. Jungkook was free now, he could be selfish and survive peacefully, he let himself forget their faces, their voices, their habits, he forced away the memories of the gentle way Yoongi used to dance his fingers over Jungkook’s back and lull him into sleep. Jungkook forced his brain to discard all memories of Jimin sticking to the protective hyung role in all ages of their life and the way Jimin would come home with black eyes and busted knuckles for fighting the kids who dared to bully his nerdy little Jungkookie. They were gone and Jungkook forced himself to make sure they were completely gone, not even existing as one of the unfathomable walking dead.

The apocalypse was something weird to Jungkook, he wasn’t sure how it worked, even if some fancy scientist had explained it to him once, before he blew himself to smithereens, it still didn’t make sense, it wasn’t possible; how could it be possible? Bodies rot and, judging by the rate of decay in which the hoards he’d fought off were at, they rot faster when they’re reanimated, Jungkook couldn’t understand how they moved and saw and smelled their prey. There was no logic in the dead being able to hear and pinpoint the smallest of pindrops, how their rotting, sticky, foul smelling hands grabbed as harshly as they did or how they still had the need to eat. Jungkook had never understood it, all those comics and shows he could never really get into about the days of the dead had always made him want to roll his eyes; he preferred the slices of life, the plot lines that made sense and gripped your heart, the angsty stories and movies that have you sobbing into your blanket at three am. 

It was ironic now, those slices of life were no longer slices of life, they were the fantasy, a fiction, a daydream some teenager would mope about wanting to happen, they would mope about being born into the wrong era, they would pout and hum long forgotten songs as they washed away the clotted blood and rotting organs from their clothes. That calm wave of life had gone, that normalcy that had been taken away from them, was a utopia craved by those within this dystopia that was created by the global governments royally fucking everything. A combination of population control, greed, medicine and poor communication skills. They let their dysfunction eat away at good, innocent people, it destroyed the world like everyone said it would but never stopped because no one can benefit from an equal world. Apparently.

The smell of gunpowder returned to his nose and reeled back his thoughts, away from what was to what is and what is, is fighting the living. The throbbing in his thigh needed to be pushed away, swallowed down to be digested for adrenaline. This was not how Jeon Jungkook died. Not yet, it was too abrupt and nowhere near as dramatic enough. 

A group, three or so - Jungkook didn’t really get a good look at them - had not even given the lone survivor a chance before opening fire, they started this but that was okay because Jungkook would finish it. He’d survive this and win, even if it meant turning the beautiful forest into a cemetery. He wasn’t sure why they were shooting at him but he suspected stranger danger and desperateness for supplies, not that Jungkook had many of those - unless they were cannibals, he supposed; Jungkook had been there, tried that, it had been keeping him alive when stale food was unavailable. He’d already shot one of them, he heard the commotion of it, the loud thud of their body and someone’s gentle cry for them to stay awake.

Taking a deep breath, Jungkook pushed himself up on his uninjured leg and pulled up the small pistol he had stolen from one of the few untouched military bases at the edge of Busan, and he aimed right for where he saw an arm poking out from behind a tree and he pulled the trigger, hating the ache that the kickback sent jeering up his arms but cheering in a silent pride that he’d got another one of them, their cries of pain cutting over the gunfire echo that rained over them. He moved his gun again, aiming for the head that poked gently out from behind another tree to look at the one Jungkook had just shot, He pulled the trigger, taking a step forward as he did so, a mistake, he missed them by a couple of inches, hitting the tree instead, “bastard.”

Jungkook stumbled forward again, gun clenched tightly in his fist and he was on full alert, turning to shoot as he saw someone step out from behind a tree on his back left. They moved too fast for Jungkook to react to and he was tackled to the floor, the thud of it had been echoed by a desperate, pained, drowsy, “Yoongi!” 

The dead would be there soon, Jungkook needed to get this over with and move on, he shoved the person off harshly and did not think twice about pulling the trigger. His unstable balance and tug of his heart at the name threw his aim further off and he hit the stranger in the side and there was another pained, drowsy, barely hanging on, “Yoongi!” 

It made Jungkook’s fist clench tighter around the handle of the pistol in his hand, turning to the source of the shout. Gun aimed and hands shaking as he refused to let that voice, that familiar voice and the man trying to wrestle him to a stop with such a familiar name be the cause of his defeat. The voice was something soft and soaked in pain, something familiar, as their body could be heard crawling across the forest floor, held back and weak from where Jungkook had shot him. He knew that voice, knew that face, that cry, it reminded him of days running through the fields of the farm he grew up on, it reminded him of sick days in bed spent watching movies, it reminded him of light and happiness and the only family member to ever really enjoy Jungkook’s presence once he hit his teen years. It reminded him of everything he forced himself to forget.

He must have faltered for a second because he was soon met with a body, heavy and well built, overpowering him entirely tackling him to the floor. He relented with a grunt, his arm caught and twisted beneath the knee of whoever had pounced on him and his gun thrown off to the side.

“Don’t move or you’ll lose your head.” Jungkook huffed at the threat but remained still as the sting of a blade made its way across his throat. There was a ringing in his ears, probably from the come down of adrenaline, and the bullet wound in his thigh began throbbing in a way that brought Jungkook to breathlessness. He kept his eyes closed, doing his best not to writhe in pain but the person on top of him was heavy and sitting on the many wounds and their hand was pressed painfully into his chest as they kept themselves somewhat balanced; if they weren’t holding a blade to his neck, he’d have flipped them over easily. “I said don’t fucking move.” Their voice was deep and gravely, it sent chills down the back of Jungkook’s neck.

“It’s hard not to when you’re sitting on my gunshot wound and pushing your hand into my fucking sternum.” Jungkook groaned, opening one of his eyes to scowl at whoever was above him. He couldn’t see them clearly, however, because the sun was far too blinding to keep a focused eye.

“Jimin,” the man above Jungkook said tenderly, sadly, Jungkook couldn’t really see what was happening though and the blade at his neck seemed to dig in harder so he didn’t dare crane his head around. “How bad is it, Joon? Is he alive?” There was fear in the man’s voice, that deep gravel had long since cleared up, he sounded smooth and melodic, a love song Jungkook once played on repeat.

“Yoongi move, move so I can fucking kill him myself.” The leader scowled, his own pistol pointed at Jungkook’s face, his hand was shaking and there were tears clouding his eyes. The wounded shoulder he was spotting looked awfully painful and it brought Jungkook’s attention to his own wound once again and to the man atop of him.

Jungkook felt his heart plummet to his stomach, fear and excitement bubbling through him. “Park Jimin?” Jungkook frowned, his brother was alive and Jungkook had just shot him, apparently. There was something buzzing around his head and it made him light headed, there his brother lay, turned onto his back by the tall stranger and he was agonisingly still because Jungkook had shot him. The man Jungkook had once loved more than life itself was pinning Jungkook down in fear and hate, a boiling anger that could be felt in the reflection of light from the blade at Jungkook’s throat. It was an odd realisation, like a horde of the dead had fallen on him. 

It was a pin drop moment, when the man above him leaned closer, a frown pulled together on his face and realisation flooding his brain, “Jungkook?” The relief in the man’s eyes had washed out instantly, replaced with a layer of white-hot anger. Jungkook didn’t understand why Yoongi would be angry, he was the one that left, he took everything they had for survival and they had taken Jungkook’s plan of returning to the farm in Busan and left him to become one of the rotters as if they were never in love, as if Jungkook was the stranger. 

Min Yoongi was Jungkook’s first love and last string to the peace of the living world. Yoongi and Jungkook had been together for a majority of their lives, they dreamed of getting married one day but the laws were never passed and times changed and life - what was left of it - moved on. Still, they had worked to the bone to get a cosy little house and a garden, good jobs that they’d plunged themselves into student debts for, they worked hard for each other and their love and gave each other something that their outside world couldn’t. It was cheesy as cheesy could be but Jungkook loved that and would not have changed it for the world. They had been soulmates through and through and accepting that Yoongi had left him all those months ago - left him to die and turn - to do nothing but stumble around this grim abyss alone had been impossible. Now here they lay, Jungkook seeming to be the villainous dragon that Yoongi the noble, valiant knight would be protecting his people from if he chopped off its head with this big shiny sword. 

Jungkook fell placid, all tension that had built up inside of him disappeared, as a menacing, taunting laugh broke past Jungkook’s chapped lips, a sound so unstable and crafted by months and months of poisoning his own humanity and smashing his once perfect moral compass into a million fragments and the name of his lover rolled off of his tongue like a poisoned arrow, “Min Yoongi. We meet again.”

#bts #bts au #bts zombie au #yoonkook #minimoni #jungkook #yoongi #jimin #zombies #horror genre #are these enough tags? #the walking dead shaped my teen years #villain #jungkook centric #doctor Taehyung #doctor Seokjin #villain jungkook #please read aha #yoonkook hyyh

[starshapedkookie]

Southpaw

pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)

genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au

includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing

premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys) 

quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!

recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)

_____

The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.

“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.

“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.

The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.

“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.

“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”

“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”

You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”

“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”

“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”

He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.

Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him. 

No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.

“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.

“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.

The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.

“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly

“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”

You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.

“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.

“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.

“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.

“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.

“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?

Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.

You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.” He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.

Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.

At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.

Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.

You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.

That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.

You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.

“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.

“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.

“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.

“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.

“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.

“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.

_____

The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.

“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.

“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.

“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.

“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.

He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”

“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.

Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?

Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.

Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.

“Hyung! Come on,” Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”

Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.

“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.

“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.

“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.

“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.

“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.

“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.

“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.

“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.

“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.

“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.

Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.

“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.

Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.

Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.

“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.

“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.

“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.

Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”

You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.

“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.

“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.

You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”

You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.

“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.

“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.

“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.

“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”

“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.

“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.

“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.

Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.

You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.

“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.

“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.

“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.

“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.

“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.

“Oh god,” you mutter.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.

“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.

“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.

“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.

“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.

“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.

“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.

“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“

“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.

“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.

“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.

You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”

“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.

The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.

“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.

“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.

“Uh, do you need any—“

“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.

Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.

“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.

Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.

“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.

“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”

Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.

“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.

“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.

“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.

“Okay, thanks again.”

You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat. 

_____

The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.

You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.

“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.

Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.

You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.

“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”

“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.

“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.

“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.

“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.

“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.

“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.

The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.

You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.

You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along. 

Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again. 

“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.

“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.

“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.

He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.

“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?

“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.

“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.

“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.

“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.

“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.

“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.

“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.

“Hm,” you mumble.

“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.

Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”

He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.

“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.

He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.

“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”

Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.

“Sure,” you answer simply.

“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?

“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?

_____

On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.

You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.

“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”

“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”

“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”

“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.

“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”

“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.

[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?

“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.

“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.

“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.

“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”

“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.

“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.

Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I know right,” you say.

“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.

“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”

Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”

“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.

“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.

“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.

“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.

“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.

“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.

“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”

“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.

You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.

[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!

_____

Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.

“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.

“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room

“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he smiles.

“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

_____

“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.

“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.

“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.

It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.

“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.

“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.

“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.

“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.

Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.

“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.

You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.

“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.

Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.

You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.

“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?

“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.

“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.

“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.

“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.

“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.

“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.

“Most definitely not,” you say.

“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.

“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.

“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.

Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.

[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day

[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now

Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.

“Whose that?” He asks.

You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”

Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”

Your face drops and you don’t say anything.

“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.

About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.

“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.

Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.

You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”

Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”

Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.

“What are majoring in now?”

“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.

“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”

“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.

“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.

“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly. 

Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh. 

“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.

Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”

The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.

“Why not?” You press.

He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”

You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.

Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.

“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.

“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.

You don’t say anything so he continues.

“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.

“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.

Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.

You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“

“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”

He looks taken aback, “W-what?”

“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.

Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“

“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”

“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”

You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.

“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.

“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.

“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.

“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“

“You don’t treat me like it—“

“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.

Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”

You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.

“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”

“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.

“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.

You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you. 

“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.

“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“

“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”

What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.

“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.

“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.

“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.

“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”

You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.

“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.

“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.

He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“

“Whoa, what?”

“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”

“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.

“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”

“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.

“…Okay?” You say slowly.

“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.

“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”

“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.

“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”

“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.

“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.

“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.

“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”

“What no—“

“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.

“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.

“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.

“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.

“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.

“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.

“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.

“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.

“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.

“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”

“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?

“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”

“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.

“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.

“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.

His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.

“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”

Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.

_____

“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”

You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.

“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.

“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.

“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.

“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.

“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.

You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.

“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.

She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.

“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.

“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”

You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”

“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”

You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.

“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.

You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.

You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.

_____

It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?

“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“

“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”

You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.

“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.

“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“

“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic.  “Jungkook what—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.

“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.

“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.

“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”

“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.

The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.

“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”

“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.

“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.

“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.

You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”

“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”

He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.

“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”

“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.

“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”

You give him a nod, “See you soon.”

_____

Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.

“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.

“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.

“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”

Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.

“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”

“Right… thanks Mark.”

“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”

_____

Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.

Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.

“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.

“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.

“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.

“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.

Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.

“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.

“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.

_____

Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.

“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.

“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.

The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.

“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”

You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.

“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.

“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.

“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.

“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”

“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.

“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.

“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”

“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.

The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.

[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight

[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu

Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.

[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check

You laugh at your phone.

[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol

“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”

You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.

Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?

Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.  

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.

“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.

“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.

“Jennie here?” He asks.

“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”

“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“

“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!

The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.

“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”

“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.

“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.

The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?

“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.

“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.

“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”

Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?

To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.

The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.

“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.

“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.

“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.

Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.

“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“

“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”

Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.

“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.

“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.

“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“

“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”

You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”

He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.

You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.

“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“

“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.

“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”

“W-why? Who would want—“

“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”

The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?

“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”

“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.

“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”

“Okay? And?”

“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere  at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.

“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.

“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”

You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.

“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.

“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.

You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”

You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.

You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.

“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.

“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”

“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.

You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.

“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.

You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.

Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“

“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Um,” he speaks first, “We should go back inside,” he says.

You nod, “Yeah, we should.”

You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.

“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“

“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.

“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.

“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.

“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“

“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.

“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.

“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.

Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.

“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.

“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up. 

“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.

As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

_____

It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.

Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?

You had no idea.

It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.

“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”

Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”

You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”

“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”

You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.

If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.

The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.

He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?

“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!” 

Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight. 

“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him. 

“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.

“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook. 

“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.

“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”

Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”

You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.

“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all. 

“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.

You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”

You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.

Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.

“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.

“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend. 

“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.

“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”

Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.

“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”

You smile to him, “You too.”

Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.

“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.

“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.

“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.

“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.

“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.

You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”

He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.  

“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.

“What? No Y/N—“

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.

“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.

“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”

He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.

Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?

“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”

He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.

“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”

You sure hoped he was right.

_____

Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.

“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.

“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.

“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”

You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.

Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.

“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”

You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.

“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.

“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—

You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?

“You okay?” He asks with concern.

You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.

“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”

You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.

“Y/N.”

You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.

“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.

“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.

“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.

“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.

You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”

“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.

“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”

“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.

“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.

“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.

You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.

“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.

“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.

“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“

“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“

“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”

You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.

You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.

_____

Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?

Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.

“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.

“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.

“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.

“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.

“Coming right up.”

It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.

“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.

The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”

“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.

“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”

You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.

“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”

You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.

“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.

“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.

“He mentioned it.”

“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.

“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”

“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”

“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.

You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”

“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.

“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”

Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”

You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”

Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.

“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.

He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.

Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”

Did Jungkook really talk about you?

“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.

“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”

“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.

“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”

You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.

“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.

“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.

Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?

“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.

“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”

“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”

You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.

“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”

You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.

_____

You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.

It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.

[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready

You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.

[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8

[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?

[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?

[You 4:02 PM] Nope

You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.

You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.

You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.

Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.

_____

Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.

“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.

“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”

You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”

Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”

“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“

“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.

“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.

“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“

“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”

You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.

“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”

You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.

“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”

You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.

“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”

You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.

“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”  

“You got it,”  Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.

“What?” You get nervous by his tone.

“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”

“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.

“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.

“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.

You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.

“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—

“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.

“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.

“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.

“I’ll get some seats.”

Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?

“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“

“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.

“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“

“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.

“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”

You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously. 

A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.

As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,  

You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.

“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.

“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”

You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.

“Hey, everything good?” He asks.

You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods. 

Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.

“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”

“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”

Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.

“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”

Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.

Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.

“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”

Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.

“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.

“Alright… ready… fight!”

Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.

“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.

This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.

Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.

“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.

Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.

“Fuck! Taehyung—“

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.

The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.

“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.

He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.

“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.

“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”

Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”

The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.

Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.

The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.

“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.

“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”

Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.

“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.

“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”

Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.

“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”

“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.

Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.

The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.

“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.

“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.

“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.

Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.

“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin.  Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.

“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.

“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.

“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”

Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.

“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Jungkook c’mon!”

“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”

Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.

“You ready to go home?” He asks.

“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.

“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.

“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.

“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.

Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.

_____

“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.

“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”

You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.

“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”

“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.

“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that. 

He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch. 

“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”

It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—

“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”

Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.

“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.

He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”

“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.

He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”

A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.

You’re quick to shake your head,  “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.

You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”

_____

Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.

“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.

You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.

You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.

The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.

“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.

“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.  

“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.

“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.

“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.

“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.

You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.

You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.

“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.

“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.

“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.

“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.

“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.

“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.

You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.

“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.

He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.

“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.

Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.  

“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.

You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.

“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”

“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him. 

He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious. 

You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.

“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.

“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.  

“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.

“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.

As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.

You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.

“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.

“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.

“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.

When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.

“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.

“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.  

“Come on,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.

You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.

Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.

“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.

“Hungry much?”

“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“Why not?”

“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.

He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”

You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.

“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.

“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”

He smirks, “Obviously.”

“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”

He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”

“Waffles are superior,” you remark.

He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”

_____

Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.

As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—

“Jennie?”

“Taehyung?”

The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!

“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.

“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.

Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”

You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.

“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.

“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.

You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.

The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be. 

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #bts #bts x reader #bts x you #bts drabble #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #jjk #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #park jimin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #enjoy guys!! #let me know what you think #please i'm desperate for attention lol #boxer au #college au #childhood friends to lovers

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

JK Day 2021

...and what a day it was. I know we’re a bit late with this when looking at KST but in our time zone it’s still September 1st so it counts, right? Besides I wanted to wait until the day was over for them so I could have everything the members would post for JK so I could put it in this post as memory for us to look back on in the future.

Furthermore, as extension for the celebrations, I want to finally sit down, write and post our post about JK and his bonds with the hyung line since it’s been so long since two anons asked us about that so what better time than the weekend after JK day, right?

Anyway, let’s get into it, shall we?

The day before JKs birthday he came onto Weverse and posted three different things, including a cute selca:

Everyone of course turned up their creativity to post something for JK and also wondered among themselves what he planned on using those lyric comments for, and if he would use them for anything at all.

Sometime later before the new RUN episode aired, Seokjin appeared on Weverse and, for whatever reason, commented birthday wishes for JK under the Weverse post about the upcoming RUN episode. Because of course he did.

More than an hour before midnight KST everyone got a notification from vlive that JK had gone live:

And truly, considering it was about to be his birthday, I love how it felt more like it was ours with the gift that kept on giving that this vlive turned out to be. 

Lots more below the cut:

Remember those posts that JK made in the morning on Weverse? As many, including myself, had guessed, JK gathered some of the lyric comments he liked most, or thought would work best, and proceeded to turn them into an actual song right before our eyes. The instrumental was gorgeous with a acoustic guitar and ballad like melody and it was truly fascinating watching him figuring out how to sing the lines, record them, redo them whenever he felt he could do it better, add adlibs in some places, and slowly but surely a song was created with lyrics in both English and Korean.

This really was the content I’ve always craved and I’m so, so happy we got to watch JK do this instead of him just showing us the final thing. You could see him having fun, even when he got a little frustrated at times or he wasn’t quite sure how he wanted to continue or how he wanted the words to sound like, and that he really knows what he’s doing. So many claim that Bangtan have no idea about producing and recording songs, which truly is such a stupid argument to make considering Yoongi is literally Producer SUGA and we know that, if the members want to make mixtapes they have to do them themselves, which we know Namjoon, Yoongi and Hobi have done. So JK doing all of that in the vlive? Checkmate against those idiots. Especially since it also isn’t the first time we’ve seen members work on tracks, like the behind the scenes of rap line working on DDAENG or Hobi working on songs, or even JK with Stay, even if we didn’t know it’s Stay at the time.

Once the song was finished JK went on to show us several more instrumentals he could’ve worked with, each one with a different vibe, before switching to singing a song by Justin Bieber saying he really loves his songs a lot. And then it was nearing midnight so he unpacked the cake he got, white icing/fondant with purple lettering spelling out STILL WITH YOU JK, very cute.

Right as midnight hit someone started to bang on the door so JK got up to see who’d come and, surprise, it was a very excited Hobi wishing him a happy birthday including singing the birthday song for him upon JKs request while JK lit up his golden heart shaped candle.

Hobi again returned two minutes after he’d left (between when at 1:18h JK mentioned that, for the first time that night, he’d do one more song to finish off the vlive, ha) to give him an ice cream cake he’d prepared, but also to get his phone which he’d accidentally forgotten in the room JK was in.

Once Hobi really left and JK got a taste of his ice cream cake, as well as the white cake which turned out to be chocolate flavored, the vlive concert began and, at the time, none of us knew what we were in for since we all thought he’d really do one or two more songs and that would be it. And yet that very much is not what happened, at all, and I’m so grateful for it.

This might just be the funniest screenshot in existence (please take note of the time stamps):

No wonder that, eventually, Seokjin decided to come onto Weverse to post wishes for JK a second time while also saying this (the picture is from their unit photoshoot for Winter Package):

The imagine of Seokjin just sitting in bed or whatever watching JKs vlive and hearing him say last song every like ten minutes and every time he just kept going...and going...and going while Seokjin is just waiting...and waiting...and waiting? Hilarious. But it’s also really cute how he’d wanted to wait until JK was done to not interrupt him or pull ARMYs attention away from the vlive. Truly I adore their bond, it’s adorable and chaotic and so wonderfully them.

Yoongi also posted his wishes for JK while the vlive was still going.

The one who waited until it was over was actually Namjoon who, with what he said in his tweet, actually revealed that he’d watched JKs vlive as well. In his vlive JK said that at the end of their concerts Namjoon used to always give his speech like a (school) principal, as in his long ending ment speeches, and that’s why Namjoon ‘signed’ his tweet with principal as well.

Truly I love how JK was just having fun singing their songs, taking requests from ARMY, rediscovering songs, like him wondering if they really have a song called Paradise (since the Korean title is different) and finally fulfilling ARMYs wish of hearing BTS sing it live, as well as being surprised and confused by requests for Heartbeat asking himself if them really have a song like that. But since ARMY kept asking for it, he finally looked it up and his reaction to realizing that, yes, it is a real song of theirs and also that that’s the song we were talking about which he’d completely forgotten about? Hilarious but also kind of heartbreaking for all the Heartbeat enthusiasts.

Here is the full list of all the songs he sang, some for longer, some shorter:

One thing that this vlive showed really well was just how amazing of a singer JK really is. It’s easy for people to dismiss his talent during concerts or performances, since they could always argue that him and the others get help due to the backing track etc., but here we had his raw voice singing along to their songs much the way any of us do. And he sounded stunning beginning to end. He’s such a talented singer and he’s worked so hard on his technique and voice and it’s really showing. Thinking back to what he said in his BE comeback Weverse interview about how he’d like to one day he brave enough to do a three hour concert on his own, I’d say this vlive shows that really shouldn’t be any kind of problem at all. If ARMY can listen to him essentially do karaoke for one and a half hours, then attending and enjoying a full on JK concert would be no issue whatsoever. It’d actually be amazing, I’m certain, and I’d totally be down to seeing that potentially become a reality one day in the future.

After two and a half hours, the vlive ultimately came to a close and JK said his goodbyes.

Hours later Hobi appeared on Weverse wondering what pictures of JK he could/should post for his traditional picture “spam” and everyone was immediately super excited. Hobi’s gallery holds some wonderful treasures so we all looked forward to what he would end up posting, though it would take a few hours until it would happen.

The funny thing is that he posted the first twt twice since the picture with Namjoon in it had Hobi’s iPhone in it which, as good Samsung representative, was a no, no, so he deleted the twt and posted it again with some stickers covering the phone. So cute. And his picture choices are wonderful. I particularly love that picture of JK in the white room dressed in black from back in 2019 when they performed Boy with Luv. And also their picture from a dinner the two of them went on together back in 2018.

In the meantime before Hobi posted his pictures, as requested in the picture that BH had posted for JKs birthday on the staff BTS account at midnight, one of the members posted his meal though it’s unclear which one of them it might’ve been. Looks super yummy though, wow.

And eventually the final member to come and wish JK a happy birthday was Jimin (and yes, I know Jimin’s twt came before Hobi’s but considering Hobi already wished him a happy birthday at midnight, that makes Jimin the last one):

Trans (cr. haruharu_w_bts):

our maknae happy birthday  i wish <you a happy birthday> a lot and a lot #KkookieHappyBirthday #JIMIN #HAPPYJKDAY

Taehyung didn’t post anything but considering his track record of doing something for the members off social media for their birthday, like giving Namjoon a forehead kiss, sending birthday wish videos to Seokjin (including roping others into doing it as well), or wishing Jimin a happy birthday as part of the MOTS ON:E exhibition, I wasn’t all that surprised by this.

And with that JK day 2021 came to a close. It started with a surprise (as in both the song based on ARMY comments and also the concert afterward) and ended with one as well, as in the In The SOOP Season Two announcement.

I hope JK had a wonderful day, celebrated happily with his members, friends and family however much that’s possible in these times, as well as with their busy schedule, and that this new year will be a happy one for him full of success, personal but also career wise. I’m curious and excited to see what will happen.

#Jungkook #jungkook birthday #Jungkook vlive #BTS #Namjoon #Seokjin #Jimin #Hoseok #Yoongi

[krreader]

BTS scenario → spending New Year’s Eve with you.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: / genre: fluff word count: 1.4k+

a/n: you can tell how long this request has been sitting in my inbox from the request itself, just like all my other requests. I’m very sorry it’s taking so long to push these out. (editing michelle: it’s been even longer, I figured it’d be nicest to post this on NYE, so I hope you enjoy it ♥). SO ON THAT NOTE, HAPPY NEW YEAR

kim seokjin

“One more round,” Jin begged as you got up and walked over to the window, “Let me redeem myself, come on (Y/N).”

“It's less than a minute till the new year, we dragged it out long enough,” you chuckled as you looked back at him, watching him get up with a sigh, “Besides, I think we've established on who is better at this game.”

Jin gave you a light slap on your ass.

“Why are we even standing here, it's not like there's going to be fireworks,” he pushed his hands inside the pockets of his sweatpants and leaned against the window.

“I just like this view more,” you shrugged, smiling at him, “So.. ten, nine, eight, seven, six..-”

“Five, four, three, two,” and as you thought he'd say one, Jin pulled you towards him and kissed you so deeply that you felt like you were going to faint.

The perfect way to start the new year.

min yoongi

“We haven't done this in a very long time,” you took a sip from your drink, then looked over to your boyfriend sitting in front of his PC, “You know, others would be out having dinner to celebrate the new year. I like that we're not like that. Instead, we’re playing video games all night long.”

“I know you love this way more than drinking in a shitty bar somewhere,” he got up to throw away some trash, then stopped at your desk for a moment to kiss your forehead.

“You're right. It's perfect.”

Yoongi looked at the time on your computer, silently counted down the last five seconds, before he leaned down and kissed you softly.

“Happy new year, princess.”

And with that and a smile, he returned to his own computer and you two continued playing games.

Yes. You liked it.

jung hoseok

“What are you most excited about?”

Hoseok and you had decided to spend New Years outside and despite it being extremely cold, you were glad that you did it. Just sitting at the Han River with your big coats, you leaning your head against his shoulder and watching the stars, because for once, it was actually a clear night's sky in Seoul.

“Spending another year with you,” Hoseok whispered, kissing your forehead.

He checked his watch, then began counting down from ten.

And once he reached zero, he tightened his hand around yours and with the other, grabbed your chin and made you tilt your head back so he could kiss you.

“To another amazing year with the most amazing woman I could have ever hoped to call mine.”

“Cheesy, but appreciated,” you chuckled and kissed him once more, “Happy new year, to the most handsome man alive.”

Yeah, he liked being called handsome, that blush was obvious even in this darkness.

kim namjoon

“Okay, so.. don't laugh at me, okay?” Namjoon stood in front of you with messy hair, a T-Shirt and his underpants, and a sheet of paper in his hands. Whatever this was, the laughing almost started there and then already.

“Okay?”

He cleared his throat, looked down to his piece of paper, then he said: “I thought about how I could make your new year a better one. I want you to have the best year, because you are the best girlfriend. So the minute before the new year, I wanted to tell you all the good things about you and our relationship and just wish some good things for you. First of all, the most important thing of it all, I hope you know how much I love you. I know I tell you this very often, but only because I like how it makes you smile and because I want you to know that you are loved by someone. I want you to know that I am proud of you and I will support you no matter what. You might make some career choices next year and please know that you will not be alone in that. I will be by your side every step of the way, for the rest of our lives together, I will be with you. I love you so much and..-” he glanced at the clock, then he very quickly said: “and I hope that the new year will be the best of your life, thank you for being my girlfriend!”

At first you really had a hard time trying not to laugh, simply because you couldn't understand why he'd put so much effort into this. But by the end of it, you actually had tears in your eyes and jumped up to hug him so tightly, that all Namjoon could do when he saw that it was 12, was say: “Happy new year, babe,” because you were too busy sobbing into his shirt.

park jimin

It would have been too much to ask Jimin to just stay home with you and watch this year disappear into thin air when the clock would finally strike 12. He got too many invites to parties of friends that he desperately wanted to go to and you didn't want to be the party pooper and stay at home, or even worse, beg him to stay home with you.

No, you jumped over your own shadow and went with him.

And you were glad that you did. Because out of all the invites that he got, your boyfriend picked the one where he knew you had some space to retreat if you needed a breath of fresh air.

Sure, this breath of fresh air got a lot more crowded when the new year approached, but it was still nice up on this rooftop, especially when you felt his arms sneak around you from behind.

“Do you have a boyfriend, sweetheart?”

You chuckled, leaning into his chest and your head to the side when he started kissing your neck.

“Well, you've certainly had a few more drinks since I've last seen you.”

“But not enough not to know what's happening right now,” he gave you one last kiss on your cheek, then turned his gaze to the sky when everybody started counting down.

You did it with him, away from the crowd, only the two of you with you in his arms holding you so tightly.

And when the new year was finally here, he whispered: “Happy new year, love of my life,” into your ear.

kim taehyung

Taehyung hadn't been this happy in a very long time.

He had gotten New Year's off. So he had grabbed you and had driven you two back to Daegu where you were now celebrating with his family.

Everyone was laughing, eating and drinking, so happy to be together.

And for a moment, you just had to pause everything you were doing and watch him be this happy, branding it into your memory.

It was only when he approached you that you started blinking at him and then smile, “Hey..”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, really good,” you chuckled a little.

“Good.. then let's go outside!”

The younger kids had been allowed to shoot a few fireworks so that was your New Year's fireworks. But honestly, it was way better than any grand spectacle you would have gotten in any city.

Seeing these kids so happy, feeling the arms of the man that you loved around you and hearing his soft voice count down in your ear before he told you that he loved you once it was 12 o'clock.

You couldn't have imagined it to be any better than that.

jeon jeongguk

“I made the right decision in asking you out, you know?” Jeongguk happily said as he was lying in bed with you, both of you already having your pajamas on, eating ice cream.

He had of course asked you beforehand if there was anything special that you wanted to do on New Year's. He didn't want to do anything, but he would have, if you had wanted to go out.

But his gut had been right about you all along.

You were Mrs. Right for him.

“You're just now realizing that?” you snorted.

He took away your ice cream and put his own away, before he tackled you into the sheets and kissed all the sensitive spots on your neck that made you giggle.

“Jeongguk, wait!” you laughed, “We're going to miss it!”

“Ah, right!” he picked up his phone, while still being on top of you, opened up his clock app and counted down the last three seconds with you. Once that was done, he looked back down at you and grinned, “Happy new year! Now.. where were we?”

And back to absolutely no mercy tickling.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

[jingabitch]

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ch.1

Summary: When you were ten, Taehyung adopted you and gave you a home. Now that you’re eighteen, the sudden change in your scent perplexes and confounds him.

Pairing: wolf hybrid!tae x human!reader (all bts members are hybrids)

Warnings: smut | talk of ownership (reader is tae’s pet human) | (eventual) daddy long legs syndrome | masturbation (m) | tae is conflicted | OC is underage when they meet, although there is no sexual attraction until after she is an adult

Word count: 10.5k

A/N: here it is!! I hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think; I was really unsure about writing this, especially at the beginning. Edit: I will not be doing a taglist, so please don't ask. Thank you!

Series index

“Hyung –”  Taehyung whined as he sulked on the couch of the dorm.

Yoongi sighed, looking over at his team member. “What is it, Taehyung-ie?”

“I’m bored,” Taehyung replied, crossing his arms over his chest as he slid down on the couch, his usually perky ears drooping.

The snow leopard hybrid just grunted, flicking one of his ears in irritation. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Hyung, come play with me, please?”

Namjoon, who was lying on the adjacent couch, stifled a snicker. Taehyung had been more needy than usual in the past few weeks, and he was working Yoongi’s last nerve. The older man had inherited his animal counterpart’s solitary tendencies, and while he was, for the most part, happy to socialize and hang out with the rest of them, Taehyung had been cutting into his alone time a little too much lately with his neediness, and the grey-haired hybrid was Not Happy.

Jin, their resident spotted hyena hybrid, laughed, a sound very reminiscent of his animal counterpart’s trademark sound. “Yoongi, just play with him. He’s lonely.”

Yoongi scowled. “Why do I have to do it?! Isn’t this why you got a pet in the first place, to keep you company?”

Taehyung’s frown deepened. “It is, but as you can clearly see,” he bit out, upset now, “Yeontan isn’t here.”

Hoseok, seeing the snow leopard hybrid taking in a deep breath to begin ranting, cut into the conversation to save the wolf hybrid from a scolding. “Hyung, you know how Tae is. He misses the company, is all.”

“Why don’t you just get another pet, then?” Yoongi asked.

“Because the same thing would happen, hyung,” Taehyung responded drolly, unable to hide his irritation at what he clearly thought was a ridiculous suggestion. “I don’t want to get attached to another pet, and then have to palm it off onto my parents again.”

Namjoon, ever the problem solver, lit up in that way that happened only when he had a eureka moment. “Get a human, then!”

The rest of them gawked at him. “A human?!” Jin asked skeptically.

“Yah, if he didn’t have time for a dog, how’s he going to care for a human baby? They’re even more high maintenance, and for way longer!” Yoongi snapped.

Namjoon made a rude noise. “Don’t get a baby, then! There’s lots of children and adolescents in shelters that need good homes. You can get one of those; they’re more self-sufficient.”

Taehyung’s mouth dropped open in shock. “That’s genius!”

Jungkook and Jimin, who had until now remained out of the conversation, immediately leapt up excitedly. “Yes, yes, can we adopt a human, pleaaaase,” Jimin pleaded. The black-footed cat hybrid, already small in stature and adorable because of his animal genes, opened his eyes wider and pouted up at the others.

Taehyung and Jungkook, seeing him, followed suit, and before long, the other members conceded, and they’d agreed to get a human pet. Taehyung, excited now that he was going to have a new little pack member to take care of and keep him company, immediately ran to get his laptop so he could research human shelters in Seoul.

Two hundred years ago, humans created hybrids in science labs. Splicing human genes with animals was supposed to create the perfect servant, companion and soldier – with the intelligence and capacity for emotional connection of humans and the superior physical capabilities of other animals, these new creations were supposed to make life better for humans.

What the scientists hadn’t realized, in their hubris, was that it was extraordinarily likely that the hybrids wouldn’t be content merely taking orders and serving the whims of humans, who were, after all, genetically inferior to their artificial perfection. A revolution and reordering of society occurred, and now humans were the pets, bred for the sole purpose of being the best possible companions for their hybrid owners.

You understood this history well enough, thanks to the kindly old hybrid who adopted you as a baby to soothe her empty nest syndrome after her grown-up children moved out and began their own lives, and her husband sadly passed away. She’d given you far more than she was obliged to as an owner, even ensuring that you had a basic education.

It had been a couple of years since she’d unfortunately passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack, landing you in a shelter when none of her family members wanted to take you in. Now that you were ten, you understood that the likelihood of you staying in the shelter for the rest of your childhood grew exponentially each day, as most families wanted babies or toddlers that would be more attached to their adopted families.

Plus, everyone loves babies.

You sighed as you pushed the covers off yourself. You’d finally managed to get a coveted bottom bunk bed after one of the girls in your room was adopted out, and you felt like you should be happier about it.

If only it wasn’t so sad to be happy about getting a bottom bunk in a shelter, after years of waiting your turn. You hoped against all hope that you wouldn’t spend much time in this bunk, that you’d be going home with another family soon, and you promised yourself there and then that if you ever got adopted, you’d do whatever it took to make your new family happy for saving you from this drudgery.

As you made your way to the cafeteria for breakfast, you noticed that there seemed to be a lot more… buzzing than usual. You shrugged it off – you’d been here long enough to know that it just meant a high-profile visit was scheduled for the day, and all of the children were told to dress up and be on their best behavior.

Picking up a tray and lining up for your breakfast, you held in a sigh. Most people are looking for babies and toddlers, and it’s rare that anyone wants to adopt at a shelter. Even when they do, they go for younger children, who are still cute and cuddly.

Well, not that you weren’t cuddly. It was literally in your genetic makeup to crave physical affection because hybrids like to snuggle with their pets, but you’d lost that cute doe-eyed helplessness that hybrid clients like in their pets. With a sigh, you took your tray and sat in a corner to eat, unwilling to listen to the excited chatter of the younger children. You weren’t that hopeful anymore, and it hurt too much after the first few times to get all excited and put in effort, only to not be chosen at the end of the day.

Finishing your breakfast, the same porridge with kimchi and laver that you have every morning, you went back to your room to wait. It’s standard procedure – every child has to remain by their bed in their room when the prospective client arrives and takes a tour to find the child they want to bring home.

With a sigh, you sat on your bed, propping the pillow up against the metal frame of your bunk bed, to continue reading the book you’d begged off from one of the caretakers. Most of the human children couldn’t read, because it wasn’t mandatory to teach them and many of them were rescued off the streets, but the grandmother who owned you before had taught you the basics.

You were still engrossed in the story – a classic from hundreds of years ago about a boy who found out he was a wizard and went to a school called Hogwarts – when Taehyung arrives, flanked by Namjoon on one side and Jimin on the other. The leader had accompanied Taehyung to restrain him and keep him from getting every child in the shelter, and Jimin had just wanted to see cute human children and give his two cents’ worth on the human they eventually adopted.

Because, as he said, he was Taehyung’s best friend so a pet Taehyung adopted would naturally be his business. The others didn’t quite buy it, but Taehyung seemed okay with him tagging along, so he cleared his schedule and came.

The matronly caretaker at the shelter, a middle-aged dog hybrid, came out to greet them excitedly when they arrived, gushing about all the cute children they had in the shelter, and how she hoped they would find their perfect match today.

They nodded and listened politely as she ushered them into her office, where she went over the ground rules for today. No pictures, no yelling, disturbing the children, et cetera. If there was a child they were interested in, they had to ask for permission before they were allowed to approach the child, and at all times children’s safety was paramount – if they indicated that they were uncomfortable, they could be removed from the situation without any repercussions. It was all aimed at ensuring that the humans were prioritized and felt safe in their home, and this was why Taehyung had chosen to support this shelter.

Namjoon, ever the responsible one, and Taehyung, who was dedicated to becoming a good pet owner, listened carefully as the hybrid caretaker explained what the challenges were in taking care of a human child, especially one that had lived in the shelter. Older children would be harder to train, she said, less malleable, and depending on what their circumstances had been before coming to live in the shelter, may have trauma or other psychological scars.

Jimin impatiently bounced around, aware that this was important stuff, but just excited to see some cute children and hopefully take one home today. When they finally stood up to leave the office and go to the dorm rooms where the children were waiting, Jimin could hardly keep the wide grin splitting his face under control, and Taehyung was similarly excited, the muscles under his shirt periodically tensing up as he resisted the urge to bounce along behind the caretaker. She was hardly likely to be impressed with him if he couldn’t demonstrate that he was a mature adult able to take care of a human child.

Because Taehyung had made it clear that he wanted an older, more self-sufficient human pet, the caretaker skipped the first two rooms, where the young children were, and the nursery, heading straight to your room. You were still reading your book, and she tutted as she saw you sitting there.

“Y/N, sweetie, would you like to come say hello to these nice hybrids?” she asked patiently, and you looked up from your story, surprised to see that there were indeed three men clustered behind her. Most hybrids decided on the child they wanted to bring home after seeing the younger children, so it was uncommon for you to see visitors.

You were tempted to reject the offer, but remembered your earlier promise to yourself, and smiled graciously, putting your bookmark back in and leaving your book on the bed. “Yes, ma’am,” you said sweetly, standing up and brushing imaginary lint off your skirt. “Good morning, sirs. My name is Y/N. I’m ten years old, and I’m very pleased to meet you,” you recited dutifully, remembering the spiel they taught all the children to say to visitors.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N-ah,” the tall wolf hybrid said, kneeling down so he could look you in the eye. His ears twitched slightly as he looked up at you slightly, and you smiled back. He had such a friendly demeanor that you couldn’t help but feel comfortable around him immediately. “My name is Taehyung, and these are my friends Jimin and Namjoon,” he said, pointing at the other two hybrids. You weren’t certain what kind they were, although you deduced that Namjoon was some kind of canine hybrid and Jimin, based on the cute rounded ears on top of his head, was a large cat.

“It’s a pleasure you meet you all,” you said politely, looking up at them. Your speech was crisp, delicate and refined from years of being the prized companion of a wealthy old lady.

“Likewise,” Namjoon said with a nod, and Jimin said nothing, but smiled so widely that his eyes all but disappeared. You smiled back, liking them already, and hoping that they would choose you to go home with them.

“What are you reading, Y/N-ah?” Taehyung asked, and you took his hand excitedly, bringing him to the bed where you’d left your book. He trailed after you, looking back at the other two members with a wide grin. It was so cute, how you lit up when he expressed interest in what you were reading, and how at ease you seemed to be, even initiating contact with him. You didn’t seem aware of who they were, which he supposed was to be expected, since he didn’t think humans really kept up with pop culture, and it wasn’t like you were walking around the streets of Seoul where BTS music was playing all over and their photos were plastered on every available surface in the city.

Sitting down next to you, he listened, his chin in his hand, as you chattered away excitedly about the book. Namjoon and Jimin came to squat on either side of you, and you basked in the undivided attention that you hadn’t had since your previous owner passed away.

“Who taught you how to read, Y/N-ah?” Namjoon asked when you wound down, his ears sticking out of the black hair on his head flicking slightly.

“My previous owner,” you replied.

“She seems nice,” Jimin said carefully, and young as you were, you picked up the unspoken question.

“She was,” was all you said, a little quietly and sadly. You missed her, the woman who’d asked you to call her ‘mom’ and really had acted like a mother to you.

At least, you think so – you were bred by a breeder to be a pet, and you didn’t remember your own mother, having been too young when you were separated from her.

After talking for a little while more, they excused themselves and you smiled as graciously as you knew how, returning to your book as they left the room to go back to the office to discuss things further.

“Hyung, she’s so precious,” Taehyung fairly sang, spinning around in circles with his arms spread out wide.

Namjoon was more reserved, but he agreed internally. She wasn’t rambunctious in the way that Yeontan was, but adorable all the same, in the way she’d lit up while talking about her book and how easily she’d accepted their touch, clearly happy to have the physical affection.

Jimin, way more exuberant than Namjoon, grabbed Taehyung’s hands and bounced around with him. “We’re getting a human!” he cried out in excitement as they jumped like children up and down.

The wild dog hybrid just shook his head at his two younger bandmates, before leading the way into the caretaker’s office to settle the adoption paperwork.

You returned home with them that day, to your surprise and pleasure. You hadn’t allowed yourself to hope until the caretaker came back to let you know to pack your meagre possessions, and sends you off with them. Taehyung gives you a hug when you walk out of the building with your bag to join them, and straps you safely into his car before they take off, back to his apartment.

As you were travelling there, they chattered away, filling you in on what their home will be like. You found out that they were part of a boyband that live together, and you would be moving in with all seven of them. Apart from the three hybrids in the car with you – Taehyung, who bought you, the wolf hybrid; Namjoon, the serious-looking African wild dog; and Jimin, the adorable-looking black footed cat who was sitting in the back with you – there were another four. They were all predator hybrids, something Taehyung noted with some pride, beaming at your reflection in the rearview mirror.

You smiled back uncertainly at him, apprehensive about how different the new arrangement was from your previous one but still certain that no matter what, it would still be better than living at the shelter. It hadn’t been awful – it wasn’t like you’d been abused or anything while you were there – but with how stretched thin the resources at the shelter were, it had been impossible for you to get the care and attention that you required to be emotionally and mentally healthy after all this time.

Carrying yourself as stiffly as you could, in order to leave the best first impression possible, you hugged your bag tightly to your chest and stood ramrod straight in the elevator, resisting the urge to look around curiously. Your previous owner had been wealthy, but she hadn’t been this wealthy, and you’d never been in a lift that was so opulent before.

Taehyung tugged the bag out of your arms insistently, and you relinquished it after a brief struggle for control over it. You didn’t want to put him out, feeling that he’s already done enough, adopting you and giving you what looked like it would be an amazing home, but he was stronger than you and you were also concerned that he would think you were too stubborn or headstrong if you continued fighting him, so you let it go.

When they ushered you into your new home, though, your jaw dropped and you couldn’t hold back your reaction that time. The apartment was so nice and spacious, worlds away from the shared room you’d lived in at the shelter. Taehyung laughed at your expression and whisked you off to his bedroom, which was now a shared bedroom for the two of you, showing you where everything you would need was. After getting you settled in, he led you back out by the hand to the living room, where the other boys were gathered, eagerly waiting to meet you.

And that’s how you became part of the BTS family.

Your new home was very different from the one you had spent your early childhood in. Living with seven young and energetic hybrid men meant you suddenly had companions and playmates to indulge your more rambunctious impulses, whereas before you’d always had to be calm and docile, since there was no way your previous owner would have been able to keep up with a screaming and running child on the playground. It wasn’t like it had been bad – you were naturally a quieter child, but all children need space to run and play, to expend their excess energy, and as hard as she’d tried, she hadn’t been able to offer you that.

On the other hand, you played so much with your new family that you were completely exhausted every night, and Taehyung had to prod you to get ready for bed properly, instead of just collapsing in whatever you were wearing. He didn’t mind, though, pleased that you were having so much fun every day. Besides, having you around to dote on made all of them happy, especially Taehyung, who missed his young cousins and was still slightly bitter about how much of his siblings’ and cousins’ childhoods he hadn’t been around for, and later, his nieces and nephews.

And so you spent your adolescence in their company, making a home for yourself. It wasn’t just BTS that seemed to have adopted you – Big Hit as a whole did. The stylist noonas were utterly thrilled to finally have a little girl around on the regular, and treated you alternately like a little sister and a doll, dressing you up in all the cute girlish trends they privately sighed over but couldn’t experiment with.

Another benefit of having a human as a pet was that it was far easier to transport a person – humans were allowed on planes and buses, so you could travel with the boys. Your calming presence helped soothe frayed nerves and mediated fights, and ARMY loved watching the tender interactions between the boys, who were all predator hybrids, and the wide-eyed human child, claiming that it showed how nurturing the boys were despite their natural inclination, and how they would be good fathers someday. You even had your own little fanclub, like Yeontan had before you.

Speaking of Yeontan – the little dog had gone to live with Taehyung’s parents, so you didn’t get to see each other that often, but when you did, the two of you got along like a house on fire. Taehyung had to keep an eye on you at mealtimes to make sure most of the food on your plate wasn’t finding its way down to Yeontan, who lay casually across your feet at the dining table, while the dog was so excited to see you that he basically ignored Taehyung whenever the both of you arrived together.

The vlive of you and Yeontan taking a nap on the couch after Chuseok dinner with his family, curled up together as you whined about your tummy hurting while Taehyung, behind the camera, laughed as he teased you about being such a glutton but then went to rub your aching belly, became the most watched vlive ever, spawning a million GIFs.

It also became common for you to be somewhere in the background of Namjoon’s vlives, reading a book on his couch, while he chatted with fans. After many requests for you to appear on Eat Jin, you did eventually do an episode with him, although he spent the whole time comparing the food to meals he’d cooked for you in the past.

One might think that growing up the lone female around seven men might be awkward at times, especially with you going through adolescence and getting your period and all that, but they made it normal. Hybrids were far more open about normal bodily functions than human societies had been, and it would have been stranger for them to get squeamish about their pet’s bodily functions. There was no hiding from them when you got your period or anything like that, but they were so nonchalant about it that you were too, even warning you beforehand when you were going to start because they could smell the changes in your scent.

It was all fine – at least, until the boys went to the military.

All of them enlisted together when you were sixteen, and you went to live with Taehyung’s parents while they were serving. Living in Geochang was a change of pace from Seoul, but it was nice nevertheless. You helped out at his parents’ farm, got to play a lot more with Yeontan and the other animals running around, and had a lot more freedom since his parents were too busy to micromanage you.

During this time, you really grew into your own – enrolling in an online GED course, using the Internet and the enormous resources at your disposal to figure your personal style out, even finding human friends and a boyfriend. Who would have thought that Geochang had such a thriving human community?

Needless to say, by the time the two years had passed and you went back to live with Taehyung, you were a vastly different person, in both temperament and appearance, than you’d been the day he dropped you off.

Still, you’d missed being in Seoul with him, and you were excited to go with his parents to pick him up from the military base. You’d never been to visit him when his family members went, because they’d needed someone to stay home and tend to the crops and take care of the animals, and ever eager to please, you’d volunteered to do it even though you really wanted to see Taehyung too.

This time, though, you had to go, because everyone was going to Seoul to spend the night, and then you would stay with Taehyung. Although you hadn’t seen each other in two years, you’d kept in contact via text messages and video calls whenever he was free, and you knew that he’d decided to move into an apartment in Seoul without the other boys. It was about time – Seokjin was pushing thirty and planning to propose to his longtime girlfriend, and it was a little weird for seven men in their thirties to be living together anyway.

So you packed your things and prepared to move out of Geochang and back to Seoul. It wasn’t difficult – with technology it was easy for you to keep in contact with your friends in Geochang, and you’d broken up with your boyfriend a couple months ago on amicable terms. The most difficult thing for you had been saying goodbye to Tannie, who was getting on in years now and had relied on you more and more each day.

But move out you did, and you bounced in your seat all the way to the military base where Taehyung had been living for the past two years. When you first saw him walk out of the compound, still in his uniform, your excitement got the better of you and you flew towards him, perhaps uncharacteristically for you given how taken aback his parents were, but you didn’t care.

“Taehyung-oppa!” you screamed as you ran. To his credit, he didn’t waste any time processing the missile currently hurtling towards him, and just opened his arms for you to leap into.

“Hello, Y/N,” he laughed as he hugged you close. He’d missed you too, his cute little human, and after so long away from him, you didn’t smell anything like him anymore, something he was determined to change as he started rubbing his cheek on the top of your head. Used to it after living with him for so many years, you just stood still and let him do it.

Fansite photographers and more zealous fans who’d come to see him cooed and sighed at the cute picture you two made. You were still tucked under his arm, clinging to his shirt, as he greeted the people who were gathered, thanking them for coming all this way, and thanking his commanding officers and platoon mates for being there for him for the past few years.

Then it was over, and he was in the van with his family for a more private reunion. You were still clinging to him, not that he minded as he stroked your hair softly as he chatted with his family. He’d seen them when they’d come to visit, or during his breaks – it was just you that hadn’t had the chance to see him since he’d gone away.

During the drive back to Seoul, you tucked your face into his neck and took a nap, tired from all the excitement. While you were asleep, Taehyung asked his mother how you’d been. “Did she give you a lot of trouble?” he asked.

She chuckled. “No, she was an absolute angel. So good with the children and the animals, always eager to help out.”

He smiled. “Yeah? That tracks. The lady at the shelter told me she has an amazing pedigree.”

“It was a real joy having her, Taehyung-ah. You’re lucky to have such a sweet human in your life.”

“I am. I hope she had a good time in Geochang, too.”

Taehyung’s mother laughed at that. “Oh, did she ever!”

His curiosity piqued, his ears perked. “Sounds like you have some good stories to share.”

“The girl had the time of her life these past two years,” his mother snickered. “She had a lot more freedom in Geochang than in Seoul because it’s smaller and safer, so we let her go out on her own a lot more, and she’s really sociable. She even found a boyfriend.”

He raised a brow. “She did? Sounds like she had lots of fun in Geochang, then.”

He wanted to find out more about what you’d been up to, but since they were arriving in Seoul and would be at the restaurant for dinner, he couldn’t, instead waking you up since you always took a little while to be functional.

You untangled yourself from him sleepily and almost fell out of the car as you tried to get out, and it was only his father’s superior hybrid reflexes that saved you from eating asphalt as he caught you and put you back on your feet. Murmuring your thanks, you waited for Taehyung to climb out of the van and lead you into the restaurant by the hand.

Tonight, you were dining at a Korean barbeque restaurant, which was always a winner for the hybrid wolf family. Usually they just ate meat, not even bothering with lettuce wraps, but they were still nice enough to order some vegetables and king oyster mushrooms for you. You were in charge of grilling, of course, not that you minded, and hearing the praise from everyone else at the table made you glow a little every time.

Taehyung was the center of attention that evening, of course, as he regaled his family with tales of his time in the military. He was the first member of BTS to be discharged, although since they’d all enlisted at around the same time, the others were due to be discharged in the coming few months, so unfortunately there weren’t funny stories of his bandmates coming to visit him, but Bang PD had, and so had some stylist noonas.

There were also stories about silly punishments and shenanigans, water parades, being made to hold the wall and shout, “Help, help! The wall is falling,” because he’d been caught leaning against it once, that made everyone crack up and you almost drop the tongs right on the grill.

Eventually, though, he started asking about how everyone had been, which turned, perhaps inevitably, into everyone ganging up on you and trying to tell the most embarrassing story they could think of. You sighed and whined as one by one, they all took turns rehashing your various mishaps to Taehyung – you trying to climb a tree and getting stuck like a cat, your various fashion disasters as you tried to ‘find yourself’ – complete with pictures, of course, and worst of all, your theatrics when your GED certificate came in the mail.

Well, you were really proud of that last one, but did they really have to describe your joyful outburst as helpless histrionics?

Still, though, the way Taehyung squeezed your hand as he told you how proud he was of you made everything better.

Soon enough, dinner was over and all of you piled back into the van to go to Taehyung’s new apartment. It had already been set up by the multitude of assistants that BigHit had, with some input from his parents, so it was basically already liveable. With so many people helping, it wasn’t long before all your things were moved into the apartment too, and then the two of you were left alone, for the first time in two years.

Since you had so much spare room in the apartment, you had your own bedroom, and it was beautifully decorated just how you’d pictured it, with a very pretty queen-sized bed in one corner with a white cushioned headboard and pink-and-grey patterned sheets, a reading nook in front of floor-to-ceiling windows with an overstuffed chair and foot rest, a lamp, and a large bookshelf with a ladder occupying the adjacent wall, and a little coffee table with a scented candle already on it next to the chair. Fluffy rugs were strewn across the room, and a wooden dressing table sat on the opposite side of the room. It was beautiful and comfortable, everything you’d dreamed of, but when you got ready for bed, you found yourself missing Taehyung.

Which led to you in your pajamas, all scrubbed down and ready for bed, knocking plaintively on Taehyung’s bedroom door. He seemed to know that you would be there even before opening the door, which he probably had, with his enhanced senses (and the fact that there was no one else in the apartment).

When he opened the door for you, clad in just his pajama pants, all you had to do was pout up at him and he was standing aside to let you in. Generally, he indulged your every whim, because according to his life philosophy, why have pets if you weren’t going to spoil them rotten? Making a beeline for his bed, you made yourself comfortable by burrowing under his sheets and fluffing up one of his pillows.

Shaking his head at you, Taehyung followed you back to the bed, getting into the other side with an indulgent huff. “You know, I paid a lot of money for your bedroom,” he said drolly. Ignoring his remark, you cuddled close to him and shut your eyes stubbornly, and he capitulated with a sigh, stroking your head as you drifted off to sleep.

Somehow, you smelled different than he remembered. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, and it wasn’t bad by any means, but it was just… different. And he didn’t quite know what to do about it.

For some reason he’d been reluctant to ask his parents, even though they’d been the ones living with you for the past two years, if they’d sensed anything different about you. He’d rationalized it to himself at the point – since they’d been with you every day it was likely that they wouldn’t notice anything different if your scent had changed gradually, and if it had been sudden and enough to cause worry, they would already have let him know about it.

Still, his mind wouldn’t stop racing with the possibilities as he leaned in closer to take a good whiff. He could still smell the base notes of your scent, which had always been somewhat citrusy, but now it was slightly… earthier, with a musky, deeper aroma threaded through it. Was it vanilla? Perhaps cinnamon?

Whatever it was, it was nice, and he shut his eyes to allow himself to drift off after deciding to do research on humans’ scent changes tomorrow. He didn’t think it was anything to worry about – any illness would definitely have a sharper, less pleasant scent – but he didn’t know why your scent would suddenly change again. It had changed gradually once before, as you went through puberty, but based on what he’d read about humans, it shouldn’t change again for many years yet.

No harm finding out more about what could be causing it, he thought as he slipped after you into slumber. Maybe he would take you to a doctor, too, if it became necessary.

Morning dawned, and Taehyung woke up leisurely for the first time in too long, slowly blinking his eyes against the morning sunlight streaming in from the windows. As he slowly became conscious of his surroundings, he became aware that he was the most comfortable he’d ever been, probably in his life, and he nuzzled closer behind your ear.

Wait a minute. A second later, he drew back. He didn’t remember going to sleep with a lover, and he definitely hadn’t had a girlfriend since his last one broke up with him while he was in the army. So who was he currently wrapped around…?

When it dawned on him, he recoiled in horror, and almost crab scuttled away from you. Thankfully, you were still asleep and hadn’t noticed his morning boner pressed against you, because it was beyond inappropriate for him to feel that way about you, his pet.

Unfortunately, his abrupt movements pulled on the duvet that you were sharing, and jostled you awake. He froze, wide-eyed, as you stirred. “Taehyung-oppa?” you said, voice raspy with sleep.

“Shh, I’m just going to pee,” he lied. “Go back to sleep, sweetie, it’s still early.”

You hummed wordlessly as you burrowed back into the covers, and despite his own inner turmoil, he smiled at you as he straightened the duvet over you before he left the bedroom.

He darted into the bathroom, where he sat on the edge of the tub, his head in his hands. God, what the hell was wrong with him? You weren’t a hybrid, and he didn’t understand how this could have happened. In that moment before he’d woken up fully and realized what was happening, his instinct had been to treat you like a… lover. He shuddered at the thought.

Okay, he thought, getting up. He was going to take a shower, rub one out, and then pretend like everything was fine. This was an aberration, just a weird fluke. You were warm and in his bed, and it had been a really long time since he had any action, since military service tended to inhibit such activities.

He just needed to get laid, and get used to your new scent, and then everything would be fine. No one would need to know about this embarrassing little slip-up.

With renewed determination, he started stripping off his clothes to get into the shower. All soaped up, he started sliding a hand down his body to grasp his erection firmly, which had never really gone away. Biting his lip, he started stroking it slowly, running his thumb over the head on the upstroke. His mind, however, remained unfocused, flitting between various memories and porn he’d watched, never able to focus on anything long enough to immerse himself.

That is, until his enhanced wolf hearing picked up the rustling sounds in the bedroom. He could hear, even over the sound of the shower, so clearly what you were doing that his mind had no problem filling in the blanks. The rustle of the sheets meant you were pushing the covers back; the soft thud on the ground meant you’d sat up and put your feet down. Then you stretched, and he definitely had no problem imagining it – or an overly erotic version of what actually transpired. Your soft moan of satisfaction as you cracked your spine sent a shiver running through him.

After that, it was basically a race to the finish line, as he fisted himself as hard as he could, leaning forward to brace his free hand against the wall in front of him. Usually it took a little longer, and he would play with his balls more, but it wasn’t going to be necessary this time, he could feel it. Remembering how good you’d smelled this morning was enough to push him over the edge, and he muffled his groan in his shoulder as he came all over the wall of his shower, the hand on the wall curling into a fist.

“Fuck,” he panted as he washed the cum off himself and the wall. Needless to say, he didn’t feel any cleaner after that shower.

When he came out of the shower, you were already getting breakfast ready. Another perk of having a team of assistants dedicated to making your life easier – the fridge came fully stocked. You’d washed up and pulled a sweatshirt on over the cami and pajama pants, and he couldn’t help but smile when he saw that it was a BTS merchandise from several years ago.

“Good morning,” you chirped, flipping the bacon. “I didn’t know what you wanted for breakfast, but I remember how much you love bacon, so I figured this would be safe.”

He leaned his elbows on the island and watched you warily from a distance. “Are you sure you should be cooking?”

“I got better,” you shot back defensively. “You shouldn’t have let me take cooking lessons from Namjoon-oppa in the first place.”

“No, I really shouldn’t have,” he agreed absently. You really had improved in your cooking, he thought, watching how easily you moved around the kitchen. It wasn’t long before a giant helping of bacon was sitting in front of him, with a more modest, human-sized portion on your plate, and some toast.

“You really should have let me make you breakfast,” he sighed, even as he started to tuck in. “I miss spoiling you.”

You shot him a cheeky grin. “Not to worry, you spoiled me plenty while you were in the military,” you sassed him.

He huffed out a laugh. “I know, I saw the credit card statements.”

Giggling, you eat another bite of your breakfast and smile at him with your cheeks stuffed, and his heart clenches with fondness. How could someone so plainly adorable drive him so crazy this morning? It must have been a fluke; his instincts misfiring. He just needed to get laid, and then everything would be fine.

Update: everything was not fine.

Things got progressively worse over the next couple of weeks, until Taehyung was honestly filled with dread every night when you came into his room and slid under the sheets on the side of the bed you’d claimed as yours.

It was getting to the point that all you had to do was sidle up to him for some cuddles and he would start getting sidetracked from having your scent invading his personal space. And yet it wasn’t like he could ask you to dial it back – it was in your nature to be physically affectionate and needy; it was literally what you’d been bred for. What could he possibly say, anyway? “Sorry, but can you stop touching me, it turns me on”? You’d be horrified, and rightly so. You trusted him, he could see it every time you smiled up at him like the sun, looked at him with complete adoration in your eyes, came to sit on his lap for cuddles. His reaction was a complete betrayal of that trust.

There was definitely something wrong with him. It was sick for a hybrid to be thinking about his human pet in this way. Maybe he should be the one to see a doctor, but he’d probably be arrested.

Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, if it guaranteed your safety from him.

Amidst all the angst and worrying about whether he was a danger to his own pet human, there were some bright moments. All of his brothers were discharged from the military, and after Jungkook, the last to be discharged, was released, they’d all gone for a massive reunion/celebration. You’d wanted to join, but he’d said no, knowing that there would definitely be plenty of alcohol that night, which meant that firstly, he wouldn’t be in any position to look after you and/or resist your charms, and secondly, your underage self was definitely not going to see how depraved your precious oppas were going to get.

The night started off well enough, with a nice dinner at an exclusive new restaurant in Seoul. The wine flowed freely, and by the time they were done, everyone was more than a little tipsy. They then moved to a club – again, exclusive and new – where they were automatically ushered to the mezzanine. A bottle of whisky was brought to their table, but soon enough, several of them had left to hit the dance floor – Jungkook, that brat, was of course looking for someone to spend the night with, and Hoseok and Jimin just wanted to tear up the dance floor.

“How have you been spending your time off?” Namjoon asked. Taehyung had been a little off all night, quieter than usual and when he thought no one was watching, he had a little frown perpetually affixed to his face.

Taehyung forced a nonchalant shrug – or at least, what he hoped passed for nonchalance. “Just hanging around,” he said vaguely, hoping to fend off any more probing into his life. “What about you?”

Namjoon looked amused. “Tae, I was discharged three days ago. I spent it sleeping and fixing up my apartment.”

“Right, right,” he said, staring studiously into his glass of whisky as if the amber-coloured liquid could tell him the secrets of life.

“How’s Y/N?” Yoongi piped up. Of course, he would be the one to bring you up first. For all his bitching and moaning when Taehyung adopted you, he quickly grew the most attached, and the feeling was mutual. He was your very favourite oppa after Taehyung, and sometimes – like when Taehyung has no choice but to discipline you – he was pretty sure Yoongi was your favourite.

“She’s fine,” Taehyung said, aiming for the innocent enthusiasm he used to have when talking about you, but from the way Namjoon’s eyebrow went up, he knew he’d failed.

“Is everything okay?” Namjoon asked slowly.

Taehyung gulped. The jig was up. Curse his inability to hide his feelings. Well, no matter. If pretending like everything was okay at home wasn’t going to work, there was always good old avoidance.

“Yes, everything’s fine!” he exclaimed a little manically, knocking back the rest of his drink in one gulp. “I’m going to hit the dance floor,” he said, making his escape quickly.

The others, a little surprised, didn’t react, letting him leave, although they exchanged suspicious glances. Something was up with Taehyung; he’d made that obvious enough.

Stepping onto the dance floor, he saw Jungkook in one corner getting hot and heavy against a wall with his chosen companion for the night, and he sighed enviously. He wished he could still do that. It wasn’t that they were afraid someone would go to the press – this club really was exclusive, and only celebrities and the ultra-wealthy (read: chaebol relatives) could even enter the club, so discretion would be guaranteed by both parties.

Instead, it seemed that as his attraction for you grew, his ability to find other, more suitable hybrid women attractive… diminished. Which was another pretty significant part of the problem that he didn’t even know how to address. He’d tried hooking up with hybrids over the past couple of weeks, but none of them ever smelled right. There was always something that felt a little bit off that prevented him from taking things further with them, no matter how much he might want to.

He was going crazy, he was sure of it. How could his sexual attraction be focused completely on one human woman? There was no way that this was okay.

He just had to hide it from others. He didn’t know what he was going to do about it yet, and it wasn’t like he didn’t trust his brothers, but this was a little different, and as much as he wouldn’t blame them, he couldn’t imagine the judging or pitying looks they would direct at him if he told them what was going on with his life.

No, better to keep it to himself for the time being.

His resolve seemed, unfortunately, alcohol-soluble. When the night ended, Taehyung returned to his apartment, saw that his bed was empty and immediately turned around to go to your room, where you’d settled in for the night since you weren’t sure what time he would come back, if he came back at all – hey, you weren’t one to judge. Spotting the human-shaped lump under the covers of your bed in the darkness, he stumbled over to the bed and lifted the covers to slide in.

It was then that Taehyung discovered that those cute camis and pajama pants that shouldn’t drive him crazy but did were you dressing more modestly than usual for bed, out of consideration for him. Because tonight, you weren’t wearing pants.

His brain seemed to short-circuit as he stared at your panty-clad ass, but he must have lifted the covers for too long because the cold started to make you stir as you turned over, patting the area around you looking for the blanket. Not finding anything to grab on to, your eyes opened slowly, and you squinted up at Taehyung.

“Oppa?” you croaked. “You’re back.” Clearing your throat, you reached for your phone on the bedside table. “What time is it?”

He groaned as he watched the way your body stretched out as you turned away from him. “You smell so good,” he whined, flopping down on the other side of the bed, and squirming close to you.

You allowed him to press himself against you, knowing that he was a needy drunk. This wasn’t exactly new for you – Taehyung didn’t get drunk as often as his other members did, but he still did occasionally, and you’d been with him for so many years now that you had a routine by now.

“Oppa… are you still dressed?” you whined as your bare skin came into contact with his jeans. You hissed in displeasure as the cold metal on his belt buckle pressed against your thigh.

“…No,” he said unconvincingly after a moment.

You squirmed out of his grasp, and he let out a forlorn whine that reminded you of his animal half. “Come on, you should get changed at least, you won’t sleep well in your clothes. I’ll go get your pajamas, okay?”

“Nooo,” he made grabby hands at you. “Don’t leave.” He pulled you back into his embrace, pressing his face into your throat. “You smell so good,” he slurred, rubbing his face against you.

You giggled at the ticklish sensation, resisting the urge to push him away. “At least take your pants off, okay?” you negotiated. “I have some water here, you should have some before you go to sleep…” Your voice trailed off as you reached for the bottle you always kept on your bedside table, and his head fell to the pillow with a soft thump as you pulled away. His eyesight was far better than yours, and he took the opportunity to stare at you while you weren’t able to notice it.

While he drank, you wriggled yourself back into the bed, blinking sleepily in the dark as you listened to the rhythmic sound of him gulping down the water. When he’d had enough, he started to lay down, and you quickly intervened. “No, you can’t sleep in your clothes!”

He laughed in response. “You’re very eager to take my pants off, love,” he teased.

Your whole body flushed with heat and you drew back, sulking. “Fine, sleep in your clothes, then. Just don’t complain in the morning,” you snapped, turning over to go to sleep.

Instead of doing the same, Taehyung scooched closer and threw an arm around you. “Don’t be like that, baby,” he purred. “I was just teasing. I’ll take off whatever you want me to,” he promised.

Hearing him speak to you in that tone, though, had you all kinds of worked up. It wasn’t unusual for him to call you baby – he’d always used that pet name on you, and Yeontan and all his other pets as well. It was just the way he’d said it… it reminded you of the way your ex back in Geochang used to talk to you when he was horny. And you found, to your shame, that you’d reacted to it with a small shiver.

That couldn’t be right, though. Humans and hybrids weren’t compatible in that way. You’d just been reminded of Jong-in in that moment – even though you’d broken up, it had been amicable, and you’d always enjoyed physical intimacy with him; it was a natural reaction.

While you were busy rationalizing it to yourself, though, the scent of your arousal hit Taehyung and he pressed himself closer with a groan. “Why do you smell so amazing, Y/N-ie?” he asked, pushing his nose insistently into the crook behind your ear. Unfortunately, his belt buckle pressed into the strip of skin on your lower back exposed by the way your camisole rode up.

“Agh,” you cried out in displeasure, squirming away from him. “It’s cold!”

“What? What’s cold, baby?”

“Your belt,” you heaved out, and his hands immediately went to it.

“Okay, it’s going,” Taehyung responded placatingly, undoing it and throwing it onto the ground beside the bed. Now that he’d gotten started, his pants were quick to follow, being scrunched into the corner of the bed under the covers where he’d kicked them, and his button-down shirt. Finally, clad in just his boxers and undershirt, he relaxed into the mattress, and you cuddled close, satisfied now.

“Good night, oppa,” you murmured as you slotted yourself into your usual spot in his side, your eyes drifting shut as you clutched his shirt in your fist.

He mumbled something indistinct in response, but you could feel his hand resting on your back, and you went to sleep peacefully.

(line break)

Taehyung woke up in a bed that wasn’t his own, half-dressed, and was confused for a moment, wracking his brain for memories of last night. Had he finally managed to get some?

Rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand, he propped himself up on his elbow and peered around, realizing that it was your room. So he hadn’t broken his dry spell, then. Damn.

Pushing the covers away, he meandered out of your bedroom to the kitchen, where you were already working on some hangover breakfast for him. “Good morning,” you chirped, turning away from the stove to point at the glass of water and hybrid painkillers you’d laid out for him. “In case you feel bad,” you explained.

He sat down and downed the water, ignoring the painkillers – he didn’t feel that bad – as he took you in. You’d put some pants on, and a cardigan over the camisole you’d worn to bed, and tied your hair back in a messy ponytail. As a hybrid, he naturally ran warmer than you, so during winters you made sure to pile the layers on to remain warm.

This line of thinking triggered a memory of you squealing in protest at the cold metal of his belt buckle touching your skin last night, and he paled as he remembered how inappropriately he’d acted with you. He watched you carefully, but you seemed the same as always, and he wasn’t sure if he should just pretend it never happened or apologize for it.

When you deemed the yukgaejang ready and took it off the stove to serve together with two bowls of freshly cooked rice, his guilt at how boorishly he’d treated you last night overwhelmed him and he blurted, “About last night – ”

You looked up from the drawer where you were picking the utensils out. “Yeah?”

“Um… about what I said…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“Oh, you mean the scent thing? Don’t worry, I get it,” you laughed it off, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “It’s because of the pack bond, right?”

“The what?” Completely confused, he just stared at you as you poured some soup into your rice.

“The pack bond? I read about it, that some hybrids can form pack bonds with the people around them. Like you did with the other members, or your pets, I guess,” you said, shrugging.

Instead of responding immediately, Taehyung chose to shovel a huge mouthful of stew and rice into his mouth to give him more time to think about how to respond. You’d given him the perfect cop-out for any overly affectionate behavior he might display. He was sure you didn’t know enough about hybrid pack behaviours to actually call him out on his lies.

“Y- yeah, that’s it,” he said, the visible relief on his face making you smile at him cheerily, your triumph at guessing correctly written all over your face.

As you both went back to eating, you felt something that had tensed up inside you last night unclench. It was just the pack bond. You could stop thinking about it, and you wouldn’t misinterpret anything anymore.

Returning to the studio to work on their comeback was a relief for Taehyung. For one thing, it meant that he would be spending most of his time away from you and your maddening scent. For another, he’d worried (perhaps needlessly, given the outpouring of support and congratulations on their social media when they were each discharged) that they wouldn’t be relevant anymore and he would be out of a job.

He’d also really missed his brothers, and was excited to work with them again.

However, what he hadn’t anticipated was that they’d missed you just as much as him, and you felt the same way. Every evening when he came home you were there, waiting for fun stories about the other members, and they pestered him incessantly for updates about you or, better yet, pictures or videos, or best of all, bringing you to the studio.

Since you basically begged for the same thing, he’d pretty much had no choice.

You chattered on excitedly from the front seat of his car as he drove to the studio. It was unbearably early, but that didn’t seem to deter you. Most mornings you were the one who woke him up anyway, since you were by far the most patient out of the members and producers. Even without you being there most days, the members knew that any time Taehyung showed up for practice on time and awake it was because of your efforts.

You fairly skipped from the carpark all the way to the studio where the boys were supposed to be working today, dragging Taehyung along in your wake. You knew the building like the back of your hand by now, having spent much of the time you’d been with Taehyung here. Even the boys from TXT knew you, and often kept snacks and things in their studios for you when you dropped by.

Reaching the corridor where the studio was located, you ran down it and burst into the studio, a ball of almost frenzied energy. “Hi!” you cried exuberantly, causing the current occupants of the room to look up at you. Almost all the members were there, sans Yoongi and, of course, Taehyung, who was following you at a more sedate pace, and they grinned at you.

“Y/N!” Jungkook leapt up from his seat and rushed over to you, and as you hugged him he picked you clean off the floor to swing you around, giggling. The tiger hybrid’s ears flicked excitedly as he took you in. “Don’t you look pretty today?” he cooed, rubbing his cheek over the top of your head. You stood still to let him, used to all the members attempting to scent you since it was basically an affectionate gesture.

“Thank you, Kookie-oppa,” you said politely, smiling up at him.

“You’re such a polite girl,” Seokjin complimented you, pulling a Tupperware of your favourite spicy baby octopus out of his bag. When Taehyung had texted them last night that you would be coming today, he’d immediately gotten to work preparing some of your favourite snacks.

“Ooh, thank you, Seokjin-oppa!” you sang as you stood to take it from him – with both hands, of course, and accompanied by a deep bow.

“Don’t you mean Seokjin-samchoon?” Jungkook ribbed, causing the hyena hybrid to snarl at him.

By the time Taehyung entered the room, you were sandwiched between Namjoon and Jimin, happily sharing your food with them, while Jungkook and Seokjin were playfighting, Hoseok egging both of them on. He sighed as he headed to the last empty couch and dropped down on it heavily, used to the chaos of his members.

“Where’s Suga-hyung?” Taehyung asked, looking around.

You shrugged. “Probably still in bed,” you responded to the amusement of everyone in the room.

Unfortunately for you, the man in question walked through the doors just in time to hear your remark, and he scowled. “For your information,” he bit out acerbically, “I was in my studio. I’m not Jimin,” he said, rolling his eyes, even as he bent down in front of you and opened his mouth for the proffered mouthful of food you were holding in your chopsticks for him.

“Hey!” Jimin protested. “I thought we were past that.”

“Never,” Taehyung promised, and you giggled. To ease the sting of his members teasing him, Jimin aggressively scented you, and you leaned into him to facilitate it.

Taehyung, observing your interaction with the other hybrid, tried not to show his irritation on his face, mostly because he knew it was ridiculous to feel that way. When you’d first come to live with them, the others had been cautious about getting their scents on you, just in case it was something that bothered him, but he’d made sure to assure them that he didn’t mind. After all, all of them were pack. It made sense for them to smell like each other, and it had even comforted him sometimes when you came to him drenched in the scents of his members.

Now that your scent was different, though, he didn’t like it as much when the other members rubbed up against you. It was a shameful, terrible feeling to be possessive over you like that, and he noted somewhat wryly that he could add it to the list. He really hadn’t been a paragon of virtue when it came to you recently.

When the boys started working, you pulled out the book you were currently reading and settled in. By now, you knew how to entertain yourself when at the studio, and tuned them out for the most part. As a result, you didn’t notice the way Taehyung’s attention would drift over to you instead of his members, but Namjoon did.

The older man raised his brow as Taehyung stared at you, sitting on a couch in the corner of the studio, instead of listening to the melody that Yoongi had just been working on. This was uncharacteristic of Taehyung, to say the least, and though as a leader he was somewhat annoyed at Taehyung’s inattention, he was also worried, remembering how strangely the wolf hybrid had acted the other night. He was still watching Taehyung out of his peripheral vision when he saw Taehyung catch himself staring, shake his head and frown.

He followed Taehyung’s gaze to you, wondering what it was that had captured Taehyung’s attention. You seemed unaware of it, turning the page on your book and continuing to read with a soft, relaxed expression, eagerly devouring the page. He couldn’t detect any differences, either – aside from the fact that you’d grown a little and carried yourself differently, you were much the same as you were when they’d left for the army.

Still, there must be some explanation for Taehyung’s sudden change in behavior, and he ran his eyes over your face more closely, watching for any hints.

Unfortunately, Taehyung, looking up from his notes, saw Namjoon staring at you, and before he could stop it, he growled at the wild dog hybrid. A second later, he realized what he’d just done, and shame flooded him. He got up so suddenly that the chair he was sitting in rolled away, bumping against the studio board, and fled the room.

Immediately, you put your book down and got up, ready to follow him to ask what had gotten him so upset, but Namjoon stopped you. “I’ll go talk to him,” he assured you, and looking up at the serious set of his jaw, you nodded, knowing that Taehyung was in good hands.

Namjoon found Taehyung in the restroom, bracing himself against the sinks with his head bowed. Hearing the door open and able to identify his leader by his scent, Taehyung’s hands tightened.

“You doing okay?” Namjoon asked mildly, leaning against the restroom door.

“Go away,” Taehyung grumped without moving.

“Tae, I’m worried about you. You’ve been acting weird since we came back from the military. Tell me what’s going on, please?”

“Nothing’s going on, everything’s fine,” Taehyung denied, his voice becoming increasingly whiny.

“Tae, come on. We’re brothers, you can tell me what’s up.” Namjoon went over to the wolf hybrid and rested his hand on his shoulder.

Resolutely, Taehyung stayed silent.

Left with no other recourse, Namjoon started guessing. “Is it because your heat is coming soon?”

Taehyung’s head shot up, and he stared at Namjoon in the mirror. “My what?”

Namjoon quirked his brow at the younger man. “Your heat?” he prompted. “The one you’ve had once a year for about ten years now?”

Taehyung paled. With all that had been going on with you, he’d totally forgotten about it. Fuck. He was not going to get through this heat alive.

#kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #bts #bts fic #bts hybrid au #hybrid bts #taehyung smut #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts future au

[namjoonfluff]

Fervor

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

genre: a bit angsty but fluff at the end

summary: you’re on tour with BTS and Jungkook gets injured while you’re there.

word count: 2,600

It was easy to see how the boys kept their energy going throughout the shows. The dressing room was buzzing with frantic energy; makeup artists running around their stations with brushes galore, stylists attempting to straighten out the clothes they were wearing. Several people with headsets rushed hurriedly through the dressing room, keeping an eye on the band. They knew their jobs were on the line if any of the BTS boys missed their cue. And then there was you. Just you, the partner of Jungkook. You had nothing better to do than just observe the action carefully from your spot on the sofa, which was placed out of the way in a corner of the dressing room. In fact, you had been advised by management to stay out of the way. After all, the behind the scenes of BTS shows was a well-oiled machine and they didn’t need an unnecessary cog messing it up! 

If the management team hadn’t drilled that into your head already, Jungkook definitely had. He was less brash about it, simply asking you to busy yourself with work while they performed. However, it was hard to get anything done in the chaos that was the dressing room. What were you supposed to do? Take business calls over the shouts of the stage manager and chattering of the many makeup artists? There was no way this environment could foster any opportunities for you and your business so you simply just watched. While you made it sound like a chore, seeing what Jungkook was like at work was fun. You watched as he politely thanked the artist for touching up the foundation on his forehead and you loved seeing how he interacted with his bandmates; he was so care-free and relaxed around them. It could just be difficult at times. Between soundchecks and press opportunities to the actual shows themselves, you didn’t get much time to actually spend with Jungkook. There was an odd date here and there. But by date, it was going to the local fast food restaurant to grab a quick bite before heading back to the hotel to sleep. You can’t remember the last time the two of you had a full-on conversation like you used to do. The one-sided staring match you were having is cut short by the stage manager calling for the boys. You hear the thumps of music begin and thousands of fans screaming. It’s showtime! As soon as he hears the shouts, Jungkook is fully immersed in his world. He begins jumping up and down, getting pumped for the show that's about to start. There are whispers coming from his mouth as Jungkook recites lyrics he’s sung a million times before. He’s in the zone and so are the rest of them. That’s why when they exit the dressing room, Jungkook pretty much forgets you exist! He strolls past you, fiddling with his earpiece and microphone. It’s only when he’s out the door that Jungkook remembers you’re here with him. He quickly dashes back to the dressing room, gives you a sloppy kiss on the lips and runs to catch up with the boys. The chaos in the room slowly simmers as makeup artists and stylists filter out to get a quick break. It’s now that you can sit back and get some work done. You scroll through work emails, eyes quickly scanning over everything you’ve missed. As the Marketing Manager for a popular fashion brand in Asia, it was important that you kept up with your emails. You never knew what you might miss if you left them for just a day! The sound of tapping replaced the silence in the room as you responded to the most urgent emails. You had almost become scared of silence throughout your time with BTS. It wasn’t often that you were alone in a quiet room with just your thoughts to keep you company. The silence had you thinking about home, about your family and how you had basically packed up your life to follow your boyfriend around. And that frightened you! The thought of losing it all...

As you press send, the room begins filling back up with people. You didn’t need to look at the clock. You knew it was time for the first costume change in the show by watching the flurry of people entering the room! And no sooner had the makeup artists and stylists entered, the panting and sweaty members of BTS rushed in, stripping off their clothes as they went. You watched Jungkook carefully as it was so endearing to see his passion and love for his work. But today something was wrong. He wasn’t acting like his usual self! Jungkook tried his best to hide the fact he was limping into the dressing room. However, you could tell he was in pain from the way his head hung low and eyes stared at the floor. He sat back in the director-style chair and you saw the relief on his face as he took the weight off his feet. Jungkook’s chest heaved rapidly as the sweat was wiped from his brow and the artist patted it with powder. He always exerted himself too much and ended up getting hurt. Yet, no matter how many times people told him, he didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Not you, not the fans and definitely not his bandmates! Each of you shared a glance through the giant Hollywood mirror. Jungkook attempted to give you a weak smile but he had already spotted your concerned look. His eyes almost pleaded with you not to do or say anything. He didn’t want to make a fuss; he just needed to get the show over with for today. Then he could rest. As much as you wanted to make sure he was okay, you nodded and gave a reassuring smile. Jungkook was going to be fine - or so you thought! 

It’s no more than fifteen minutes later when Jungkook is being rushed off the stage and carried into the dressing room by one of their bodyguards. His face so contorted in pain that tears are streaming down his face and onto the bodyguard’s shoulder. You know what’s happened before anyone has to explain it to you. One of his arms is outstretched, reaching out to the heel of his foot - almost as if he’s a wizard trying to fix it with magic. But he wasn’t and this definitely wasn’t going to be a quick fix. They lay him out on the floor of the dressing room and call in a medic who can see to his foot. There are massive crowds of people surrounding him and it’s not long before the other boys join the group to check if their friend is okay. Somewhat excluded from the circle, you hover over someone to keep an eye on your boyfriend. As the medic takes hold of his ankle and examines it, Jungkook cannot hold back the screeches and groans any longer. It hurts to see him in so much pain while there’s nothing you can do. After all, you have the back of a bodyguard separating you and your boyfriend right now. There’s no way you’re going to be able to shove him out of the way to get closer to Jungkook. “We have a ruptured achilles, unfortunately,” The medic states confidently, looking at the boy’s swollen leg with precision. 

After hearing the diagnosis, Jungkook throws his head back against the floor and begins sobbing into his hands. It’s really the worst case scenario! A torn achilles is a death sentence for any athlete but it’s particularly bad for someone who performs for a living! You feel equally as devastated for him. Inside, he will be ruined for letting this happen and giving a poor show for the fans. “We have three songs left,” The stage manager calls into the dressing room. “The rest of you have ten seconds to get back on stage!” 

You watch as the rest of the boys make the hard decision to leave the room and Jungkook stupidly attempts to follow. However, he is quickly struck down as searing pain shoots through his lower leg. The room is quieter now and you’re able to get next to him finally. You grab his hand, soothingly stroking his knuckles with your thumb. 

“JK,” You whisper. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay!” “How do you know that?” He snaps through gritted teeth. Despite your immediate shock at his aggressive tone, you smile through it and continue to console him. He is hurt after all. “These things heal, baby,” You say softly, stroking the hair from in front of his sullen eyes. “It can be fixed!” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t need your optimism right now!” “I’m just trying to help,” You voice gets quieter and quieter with every word. He’s never shouted at you before during your relationship; not even when you destroyed his favourite T-shirt by getting paint all over it. You know it’s because he’s in so much pain but it doesn’t stop the words from creating a hole in your heart. A hole that travels to your throat and blocks it! “What help can you give me right now!” He spits, pointing down at his ankle which grows bigger and bigger every second. “My leg is fucked! I’ve ruined everything.” “It’s fine -” You attempt to reassure him but you are quickly cut off. “No, it’s not okay,” He shouts at the top of his lungs. If the whole room wasn’t looking at him already, they definitely were now. Not only are they looking at Jungkook but you felt the eyes of everyone burning into your back. It was then that you felt the tears prick your eyes and lump become harder to swallow. However, you tried holding them back for the sake of your dignity. You had only been on tour for a few weeks and you didn’t want everyone seeing you ugly-cry for the first time in what was going to be a year-long tour. 

“Can you just leave me alone?” His voice was just above a whisper now. It’s so quiet that you don’t catch what he said at first. Until he says, “Please!” You nod, unable to speak for fear of sobs coming out. It’s with his words that you dash out of the dressing room and head to the buses. That’s the only place you can be alone right now and even then, you have a bus driver sitting waiting expectantly for everyone. The driver simply smiles and nods as you run onto the bus in floods of tears. Your makeshift home for the last few weeks was annoyingly quiet; with just the hum of the engine running through the carriage and the faint sound of the driver’s radio. In the silence, you think about going home and throwing this all away. Was it really worth it? Was it worth being away from your family to see the boy you loved suffer? Did you deserve being shouted at for trying to help? As much as you loved Jungkook, the thoughts about your relationship lingered in your mind and there was nothing you could do to get rid of them. It was hard to shake them away without Jungkook, or the other boys, there to distract you.

As you contemplate how to tell Jungkook about your plans to go home, you hear multiple voices entering the bus. Rather than walking out to see what the commotion is, your back shuffles further into the corner of Jungkook’s bunk. In that moment, you wanted to disappear. If it was possible, you would have transported back to your hometown right then and there. You hear their voices; all of them. In between the concerns of the other boys, Jungkook is telling them he’s okay and asking for you. “She wasn’t backstage at the end of the show,” You hear Namjoon say. 

Someone, you think it’s Jimin, asks: “Did something happen?”

“Well, aside from ruining my leg,” You hear Jungkook say before he explains the situation to his friends. 

“She can’t have gone far,” Yoongi tells the group. “If she ran out with the fans, we would know about it by now!”

You hear Jungkook sigh loudly. “I really fucked up everything, didn’t I?” After listening to his words and how sad he sounded, you choke out a little sob. You never realised how hard touring with your boyfriend would be; trying to manage a job, maintain a relationship and stay sane. It felt you could only choose one of the two at this point. 

You soon realise the bus is quiet and you think that all of the boys have left to find you. However, a moment later, the curtain on the bunk is drawn back and you see a concerned (and hobbling) Jungkook outside. 

“Oh god,” He says after noticing the tears streaming down your face. “I’m so sorry for getting angry at you. It’s just that my leg hurt so much and I wasn’t thinking straight!”

Embarrassed, you hurriedly wipe your cheeks; thinking that by removing the tears, Jungkook would forget what he just saw. He wouldn’t. “Can I sit please?” He asks, trying to balance on his good leg. 

You nod. With that invitation, he carefully lowers himself down onto the bunk bed, wincing and moaning every time his leg so much as moves an inch. “Should you be doing this with your leg?” You ask. “Probably not,” Jungkook replies with a smile. “But I needed to check if you were okay!” 

There he was, putting everyone else before him again. He needed to stop doing that! That’s how he got into this mess in the first place and look at what happened. 

“I’m really sorry,” He says again. “I didn’t mean to get angry with you!” “It’s fine,” You say but your voice is hoarse from crying all that time. “I didn’t realise it would be this hard.” 

“I know,” He sighs. 

There is a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you. You wonder what he could be thinking. Is he thinking about the future of your relationship too? Did he want you to go home? “I think,” Jungkook pauses for a moment. You instantly start thinking the worst. It starts with you mentally starting to list all of the things you brought with you so you know what to take home. Then you think about how much money a flight home will cost. What will your friends say if you come home early? You dread to think what will happen if the press ever finds out. “You’re my rock, okay” He says. “I need you, I need you here, with me, at all times.” 

You are immediately shocked by what he’s saying. “It’s just not the same without you. You know me better than anyone, well maybe not the boys but you’re a close second.” You give him a glance. “What I’m trying to say is,” He huffs. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot and shouting at you. You were only looking out for me. I want to do the same for you!” “I love you!” He says. Immediately, your heart swells; you feel the broken pieces slowly repairing themselves again. 

“I love you too!” You whisper back, leaning over to place your head on his shoulder. He knows you love it when he strokes your hair - especially after you have been crying. It reminds you of your mum somehow! That’s why he goes on auto-pilot when you lean into him; hands automatically going straight to your crown and running his fingers through your locks. 

It doesn’t take long until you’re both asleep, exhausted from the long day you had. You fall asleep knowing that tomorrow would be a challenge. Jungkook was most definitely not going to lay quiet while the rest of the guys performed. However, you felt satisfied knowing that you would be right by his side through every moment; no matter how tough it was.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkookfluff #jungkookfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts imagine #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts army

[golbrocklovely]

i'm just gonna do an overall reaction to amber's new video with colby, bc i have so many thoughts lol

a lot of these are gonna be random and possibly all over the place, but i just want to say them so, ignore them if they don't make full sense.

colby talking about getting cancelled on twitter... too real.

idk why but his hair looked red-ish brown to me the whole video. it was really nice and all i want now if for him to dye his hair red again.

i love the fact that colby knows he's causing drama by doing these videos with amber. something about him knowing he's both pisses ppl off and getting them to talk about him is fucking hilarious to me. him saying 'you know we're gonna make a bunch of 13 year olds shit bricks' is one of the funniest things he said in the video. like at one point amber was saying 'sorry for the tiktok porn' and colby literally responded with 'you know they love it' and smirking?????

for a man that don't like drama, he definitely loves stirring the pot. and honestly... it's kinda hot.

also i just quickly realized that colby still has the banner up in his room from knj's video that says 'you are amazing' on it. that's really cute :)

so for the first tiktok, i love that amber weirdly has to teach colby to be domineering and sexy. like... this is the same man that apparently loves to be dominant in bed.

and i just realized that he never replaced the one earring that he took out on accident when he was taking off his shirt. he does know he could go to fucking claires and get matching black studs right??? this man spends MONEY on clothes, but can't buy matching earrings lmao

COLBY STOP STRAIGHTENING YOUR HAIR IT'S NOT 2007 ANYMORE AND WE LIKE IT WHEN IT'S CURLY GODDAMNIT

amber calling colby's dad daddy... im ded

second tiktok, loved it. no complaints. it was an adorable video highkey.

third tiktok.... i'm gonna be honest: i'm fucking dead after it. in the ground currently. no longer alive.

first question i have, why are his handcuffs so fucked up? like, how often you using them that the fluff is now coming off?? 👀👀👀 also, personally, if i was amber, i wouldn't touch those things with a ten foot pole unless they are sanitized to hell and back lmao

"WAIT WHERE ARE YOUR HANCUFFS?" "oh i think they're in here." colby don't lie you know they're in that drawer sksksks

so in the first half, them just goofing off and what not, that was so funny. i never realized how much it took to film those types of tiktoks and whatnot. or at least how serious they both take them.

the outtakes: i want to see them. i want to see colby (most likely) moaning while sliding down the wall """sexily""". i need that in my life right now plz and thx

now the second half... i just want to note that if i wasn't bisexual already, i would definitely be now.

you could tell that they could feel the sexual tension right before they filmed it. and like, i could as well. i was literally clutching my pillows bc i was getting nervous and anxious. when colby put the handcuffs on her, i was fucking losing it.

and idk if colby planned to do the pull her up by her chin thing, but when he did it, i about fucking astral projected.

AMBER TURNING THE VIDEO OFF SO FAST OMG

and then when they were filming after the tiktok, colby's face was so red !!! they were both so embarrassed at how sexual it was in that moment.

this whole situation (in my mind) proved that they are nothing more than friends. bc if they had been together in a sexual way before, they wouldn't be embarrassed to do something like that with each other.

regardless that at the end of the day it's none of our business, but still.

also possibly weird question but why does colby still have his retainer if he doesn't need it or wear it anymore?? like, he could have gotten rid of it at this point, i assume.

then when colby got offended at her saying these tiktoks were taking a long time (but not that she wasn't enjoying the time with him), his face change was so funny.

and the fourth one, i can't wait to see, i'm very curious what it's gonna be. i'm assuming something along the vain of the others, so probably sexual and fanbase craziness ensuing lol

random quotes:

'i'm coming🥺'

'mY eYeS dOn'T lIkE vItAmIn D vErY mUcH'

'i love vitamin d' 'of course you like the d'

'you know this about to be boob galore, right'

'are you ready? let me sit on your head.' 'ALRIGHT.'

'no harnesses, huh.' 'maybe not that. maybe we save that for another channel'

'should we do a belt?' 'yeah ;) WAIT WHERE ARE THE HANDCUFFS?!'

'you look like a teacher *clears throat* that's about to teach their students a lesson if you know what i'm saying' 'you wanna learn something?' 'yeah'

'if you wanna start it, i'll come out of the closet. *points at camera* dOn'T tAkE tHaT tHe WrOnG wAy'

'you gonna get my goddamn retainer in that shot? jesus chRIST'

'would you do this with another one of your fuCKING boyfriends on youtube?' 'never.' 'okay fine.'

'okay, how's that for bts?' 'bt-? oh ThAT's My FaVoRiTe BaNd'

#personal #text #amber scholl #colby brock #please talk to me about this video i loved it so much

[samwritesforyou]

takeoff

Yoongi x reader

Summary: Once upon a time you were in a relationship with Yoongi. It was a few years since that statement was still true, the two of you breaking up because of his intense schedule.

You said you’ll wait for him. But the time still didn’t come yet when you suddenly met at the airport.

A/N: i just really got a soft moment of missing yoongi and mixing it up with some angsty idea seemed like a good call for me. also i wanna try and writing some works for each member at some point, so feel free to request something! or ask about being put to the taglist! love you all, have a great day<3

Warnings: gender-neutral reader, angst

Wordcount: 1.5k

You promised each other that you will not cross roads until he’s going to be able to give you at least a fraction of his time. Being a member of BTS, especially during these tough times in the era of Love yourself: Her, their schedules were crazy and he could barely get any sleep per day, not even talking about dedicating his hours to someone else.

Your breakup was emotional and heart-shattering because you both loved each other very much.

You’ve been an army even before you’ve met Yoongi in 2014, so your pact of not seeing each other automatically banned you from ever attending a BTS concert in front rows, out of fear of him noticing you. It would be just too painful. Too much. For both parties.

He said he’ll get in touch. You deleted his phone number just so you don’t ever get an urge to call him and make things worse.

It was still radio silent. It’s been two years.

You’ve had a few hookups and non-committal flirts along the way, but nothing more. Your mind always reeled back to him.

Other members usually texted you, most often about festivities like a birthday or Christmas and you’ve been on quite friendly terms with them. They always messaged something like “Yoongi says hi,” but nothing from him directly and it was eating you alive.

You’ve been doing better lately though. You’ve concluded that one day he will come back to you - hopefully - and you’re essentially not losing anything, you just need to learn to live beyond your love towards Min Yoongi.

You just needed to get away. From your tiring job, annoying people, unsupportive family, house cleaning... all of that tedious stuff that’s been driving you up the wall lately and making you more and more agitated.

You were in dire need of a holiday.

Before travelling you always check whether BTS aren’t supposed to travel somewhere at the same time as you, just so you can avoid all the possibilities of meeting them, or at least a certain One of them.

This time the air was clear. Or so you thought.

.

.

.

You decided to go alone and put a lot of your savings in, just to have a comfortable trip. VIP seats on the plane, four stars hotel in the middle of nowhere, all for the peace of mind.

No monuments, no people.

You were minding your own business while waiting for such a long time for the boarding to finally begin.

Lately, you’ve picked up playing sudoku on your phone, so now you’ve been doing just that.

“Excuse me,” you heard a low voice of one of the security men that was trying to clear the way for the special passengers, normally wealthy assholes or politicians.

It happens sometimes. And you just happened to stand in their way. So when you were shushed away you shuffled a little bit to your right, trying to squish into the queue of people behind you.

You weren’t that interested as of whom those travellers are, that required special treatment, but you looked up from your phone anyways.

The moment your eyes left your screen, you saw a few white men who were carrying themselves as the whole airport belonged to them.

You subconsciously scowled at them unamused, until your gaze fell onto another set of eyes that appeared after them.

His face was almost wholly covered, beginning with the black cap on the head and ending with a white face mask over his nose.

You’d never be able to mix up those Korean cat-like eyes with anyone else.

Conveniently, the person looked up at you almost as if he felt your presence and your eyes met, his brows shooting up under the cap almost immediately, eyes widening in recognition.

Yoongi...

Everything was happening in slow motion.

Yoongi continued walking, only for a second raising his hand slightly in a gesture of a wave directed at you. He couldn’t take his eyes off you until he was no longer in your field of vision, heading behind many pillars towards the exit to the plane.

You didn’t realise it at first, but.. you started crying.

.

.

.

After a few failed attempts of trying to calm yourself down, you finally succeeded, just in time to give your documents to the steward for checking and going into the same hallway that Yoongi went through roughly ten minutes ago.

You just saw the love of your life come by after literal years and couldn’t do anything, losing him once more.

If you only had a chance to talk to him...

Fuck the fact that he can’t give me his time. It’s probably selfish from me that I’d be okay even with just texts from him, but... I just want him back. Dammit.

Your mind was reeling and hands sweating. You definitely blew your chance of talking to Yoongi for the last time.

There was still hope in your heart that he’s in love with you and still wants to be with you, but.. waiting for that long would take its toll on anyone, honestly.

You sighed and made your way into the first-class section of the plane, entering the third row. You weren’t so lucky to get a window seat, but you were satisfied nonetheless.

Some bag and a pair of glasses were sitting on a place next to you already, so you just shrugged at it and put your stuff into the container above your head, plopping yourself down with a phone in your hand and a pair of headphones.

You’ll need to stand up and let the person sit once they get here, since their stuff is already there, but you couldn’t be bothered by talking to anyone. Not after seeing him.

It took mentioned person about fifteen minutes to get back to their things, meanwhile you already had a hoodie on that covered most of your face and the view you had of the surroundings.

Just seeing someone’s shoes was enough to make you stand up and let them sit, while your rap playlist was blasting into your ears. Probably too loud, but you didn’t really care.

Once the steward went around and tugged at you gently to remind you to take off your headphones during takeoff you finally put down your hood and ran a hand through your hair.

Your eyes were chained to the floor, you just couldn’t stop thinking about him no matter how hard you tried.

If you only...

As the plane was taking off the ground, you wanted to get the view from the window, it’s what you always did since you were a kid.

... had one more chance to talk to him again.

You heard the landing gear shock absorber extend to its limit. The airbus left you in a momentum of the sinking sensation that comes after being lifted off into the air with another hundred passengers.

That’s when your eyes met with Yoongi’s, who’s appeared to be sitting right next to you.

.

.

.

“y/n..” he said, quietly, you almost didn’t catch it.

Your heart was beating in your legs, all the way in your brain, you feel like, pumping the blood everywhere in your body furiously.

“Yoongi..” as soon as his name left your lips, you let out a whimper, turning away, facing the hallway.

You can’t do this now, oh god. This is exactly why you two decided to never meet until you can be together again.

“Hey,” he murmured, taking one of your hands in both of his, squeezing it reassuringly.

He was careful, yet familiar and felt like home.

Of course. He always was your home and all this time without him you felt homeless.

Slowly, you turned your gaze back at him. He had a small smile painting his features, looking at you lovingly.

You couldn’t help but return it, even though you still had tears in your eyes, which even made you chuckle, biting your lip.

“You okay?” he asked, still cautiously choosing words.

“Yeah. Now I am,” you said and brought his hands to your face, kissing his knuckles, never leaving his dark orbs that were looking right back at you.

“I planned on texting you in the upcoming weeks.. but I think we can finally make it work, y/n,” Yoongi stated and couldn’t contain his grin as it got wider, showing his gummy smile in its whole glory.

And suddenly you fell in love with him all over again... and way more than ever before. You’re never letting go.

#yoongi x reader #bts x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi #min yoongi #yoonie #yoongi of bts #suga of bts #lil meow meow

[miikrokkosmos]

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, angst, coffee shop!au, college!au, best friend!au, shy/awkward!reader (they say to write what you know)

word count: 6.3k

summary: “Yoongi begrudgingly rose to his feet and walked to behind the counter, but didn’t stop at the register, much to the chagrin of the young hipster man waiting to order his third iced Americano of the day. He instead went to the back and whipped out the biggest mug the coffee shop offered, and got to work on a drink that nobody ordered. By this point, the whole line of customers had their eyes glued to him incredulously. “Oh, I’ll be with you all in a minute,” he said to them nonchalantly.” aka Yoongi and reader have been dancing around their feelings for each for far too long and something’s gotta give

a/n:hey guys! i’m still trying to figure out my writing style for my bts characters. but i hope you enjoy, and as always, any feedback, ideas, and/or constructive criticism would be indescribably appreciated! inbox currently open for requests, as well!

You hugged your sweater tighter around your torso as you settled into the hard plastic chair of the lecture hall to get ready for your favourite class of the week – your M/W/F late morning marketing class. Not that marketing was your concentration, or even one of your favourite topics to study…it just happened to be the one class you shared with your best friend, Min Yoongi. Not a day passed by without you thanking the heavens above that marketing basics was something required for your business major, as well as Yoongi’s music production degree. It worked out perfectly. Almost as perfectly as when Yoongi had gotten an assistant manager job at the café you spent all of your study hours in (as well as your free personal hours, if you were being honest).

Fresh off the morning shift at said coffee shop, Yoongi’s face poked through the door with minutes to spare, fluffy black hair flying in every direction as he tried to keep two coffee cups in his hands from slushing over their brims. You hustled to lift your heavy backpack off the chair next to you, dutifully saved for him every time. He gave you a warm smile and slid one of the paper cups towards you, gently patting your head as he sits in his chair. You excitedly grabbed the cup and brought the side to your eyes to read WCM scrawled across the side. You eyed him sneakily as you raised the cup to your lips. “White chocolate mocha? You’re trying to make me fat, aren’t you?”

“Don’t act like it’s not your favourite,” he threw out. “Besides, we needed to have matching drinks,” he said, twirling his own cup around to show you the matching sharpie label scrawled across the side.

“You’re really annoying, you know,” you mumbled, but couldn’t hide the grin stretching across your lips.

“You’re welcome for the free coffee, by the way, hand-poured by your favourite barista,” Yoongi drawled out, attempting to match your annoyed tone, but even more unable than you to make his visage match his tone.

He moved to take his notebook and textbook out of his bag, neatly arranging them on the desk in front of him. You eyed him fondly as he did so, enjoying the coziness spreading throughout your body from both the hot drink in your hands, as well as from the warmth that you naturally felt whenever you got to spend time with Yoongi. Even if that time was sometimes spent just slouching next to each other in the far back of a business lecture hall, passing the time by sharing memes and occasionally jotting down notes only when it seemed most important. In those moments, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

Which is precisely why you decided then and there that you had to do something, anything, to move on, to keep yourself from basing so much of your happiness in someone whose depth of feelings for you surely didn’t match your own of his.

_______________________________________________________________________

After finishing up your classes the next day, you headed to the café as usual to work on your homework, Yoongi working to keep up at his register in the background with the rush of rude customers coming in to order minutes before the café was officially closed. You couldn’t help but notice how every second girl attempts to flirt with him, pausing your music each time to listen in on their suggestive comments every time against your better judgement. Jealousy would boil in your veins every time, but you were usually able to calm down fairly quickly given the fact that Yoongi never, ever appeared to reciprocate. You didn’t know if he was completely oblivious, or if he just plain didn’t care for girls who blatantly asked for his number in the same breath as their latte order, but either way you appreciated it. Not that you truthfully had any right to appreciate it. It’s not like he ever flirted with you either.

Minutes later, after ushering everyone out of the café on time, Yoongi rushed over to you, placing both his hands on either side of your head, kneeling in front of you. “The place is finally ours again,” he said, rubbing soft circles into your temples, “and…we didn’t sell out of those big ass expensive cupcakes today. They have to be gone one way or another. Interested?”

You lightly place your hands on his wrists, still hovering by your face. “Do you really need me to answer that?”

_______________________________________________________________________

You found yourself not ten minutes later seated across from Yoongi at your tiny round table, quickly putting away your study materials to make room for two cups of tea, giant cupcakes topped with bountiful icing in tow.

“I don’t think that last group of customers appreciated being kicked out while I so blatantly overlooked you lounging in the corner,” Yoongi said, a grin finding its way to his lips.

You weren’t quite sure how to take that one. “Oh, well, I can start leaving earlier if you think it’s an issue…I never want to do anything that could chance getting you in trouble, you know that.”

Yoongi quirked a brow. “What? No, I’m kidding, _____. Besides, what are they gonna do about it? I’m here more often than the regular manager. I practically own the place,” he added, with a wink.

You giggled, trying to hide the bright pink dusting your cheeks by practically stuffing your whole face in the cupcake. Yoongi rolls his eyes as he reaches across and wipes off a dab of icing off the top of your lip under your nose, which did absolutely nothing for your already furious blush. You both laughed at each other for a moment, a beat passing between you as you catch each other’s eyes. Yoongi had a way with his eye contact. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, and there wasn’t a particular technique to it, it’s just the way he was. Something about it always felt so intense, but in a good way. It made you feel so…seen.

You felt a painful pang after you felt you had spent too much time gazing into his orbs, however, and soon looked off to the side. “So, I have something to say,” you started slowly, taking a big gulp to keep yourself from going further.

“Let me guess. You’ve decided to switch majors and we now have all of our classes together?”

“No, about my love life, actually.”

An expression flashed over Yoongi’s face that you couldn’t quite identify, but you didn’t have time to attempt to decode it. “Oh? How so?”

“Well,” you began, slowly pushing your teacup to the center of the table, “I think…I don’t know. I just feel like it’s a good time for me to be more open to looking for a relationship, maybe?”

“Oh. I didn’t know you were closed off to the idea before now, actually.”

“I mean, I wasn’t really. I just mean…I want to start being more intentional now about it, I guess? I didn’t really have time to think about it much the past couple years, with finishing my undergrad and then traveling around and working for a while.” AndbecauseI’vebeentooinlovewithyoutoconsiderdatinganyoneelse.“But now that I’m back in school and working on my master’s, and I know I’m gonna be here in one place for a while to finish that, I thought maybe it’d be a good time to look for something more serious, I guess?”

Yoongi was no longer even trying to make eye contact with you, his gaze firmly pointed at the empty cups in front of you both. “I mean, yeah. That makes sense,” he said rather quietly, throwing his head into a quick firm nod, as if to make up for the firmness he lacked in his voice.

“Yeah. So I think I’m going to break down and finally try a dating app.” You try to force yourself to look more excited about the prospect than you actually feel.

Yoongi threw a hand behind his head, ruffling up his already messy hair. “Ah, I see. You know, from most people I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear that, but that isnews coming from you.”

“I know, I know,” you say as you let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m nervous.”

“Well, it’s a brave thing to put yourself out there,” Yoongi said, offering a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

You nodded to him, rising to pick up your dirty dishes to bring to the café’s counter behind you.

“Hey, that’s my job,” Yoongi whined after you, which you completely brushed off.

You walk up behind him, letting your hands drop to his shoulders. You begin kneading in a massaging motion, causing him to drop his head down onto his chest. “Ready to go home and study for the marketing exam?” you quietly ask.

He tenses and raises his head back up, standing to his feet, causing your hands to drop back down to your sides. “Would you mind if we pushed that to tomorrow, actually? I have to sort through some stuff in the money room here that I forgot about, probably will take a good while.”

“Oh. Okay then, tomorrow it is,” you say, tipping your head in thanks when he hoists your backpack around your shoulders. You give him a quick hug before turning to walk towards the door.

“Hey, _____?” Yoongi calls out after you.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks…just thanks for being open and vulnerable with me and telling me about your thoughts and feelings. I know it’s not easy to do.”

Ouch.

“Of course, Yoongi. That’s what best friends are for.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Your study session with Yoongi the next day lasted all but fifteen minutes before you had both given into the temptation of moving from the stiff kitchen chairs to the enveloping coziness of his couch, marathoning episodes of your current favourite tv show all afternoon instead. Although you had begun the show by sitting upright next to each other, the sleepier you became, the more your body involuntarily decided to crawl into Yoongi’s welcoming hold. You eventually fell asleep with his arm around you, head tucked gently into his neck, television buzzing lowly in the background.

You woke up what must have been several hours later, almost feeling overheated by how absolutely entangled you and Yoongi were in each other: legs mixed up in each other, a protective hand pulling you closer to his chest rising up and down in soft breaths, and a plaid blanket that was strewn across you sometime after your eyes had first fallen shut. Not that you could complain, though. Settings such as this were where you felt truly the safest, and most at peace.

As slow as possible, you hoisted the blanket off of yourselves and attempted to extricate yourself from Yoongi without waking him. But the second he noticed in his drowsy state that you, his source of warmth and comfort, had been ripped from his hold, his eyes snapped open with a start.

“Don’t get up,” you whispered in a soothing voice, hoping to coax him back into his comfy position. “I didn’t mean to stay so late, sorry.” You walked over to the kitchen area to pick up your study materials you had left strewn about the table.

Ignoring your instructions, Yoongi picked himself up and sauntered over to stand next to you, your hips touching. “You can stay, you know,” he said in a raspy voice still full of sleep, gently placing a hand atop your own to stop you from continuing to pack up.

You glanced up to meet his eyes as you contemplated his offer. It wasn’t like you hadn’t accidentally stayed over before, late night study sessions and movie nights never ending and never moving from his couch in time to beat the sun rising. It also wasn’t as if you didn’t desperately want to spend more time with the boy, especially if that time involved reverting back to your previous position of having your bodies tightly snuggling into each other under a woolen blanket on his oversized couch. It’s just that you really didn’t know if your heart could handle that any longer.

“No. No, thank you. Thank you though. But no,” you awkwardly stuttered out, dropping your gaze almost as quickly as you rescued your hand from his tender grasp to snap the straps on the front of your backpack.

“Oh. Okay,” he said, and did his eyes look…sad?, “But text me when you get home. It’s getting pretty late.”

You nodded dutifully at him as he reached over your shoulders to grab your bag, lifting it over your shoulders and patting it twice for good measure. “I will.”

This was clearly the moment you were supposed to leave, but somehow you were both kept standing there in front of each other, stubbornly refusing to be the first to move. He looked down at you through his shaggy bangs, eyes still not fully open as the not-so-distant promise of sleep tried to pull at his eyelids, lips pressed together in a maddeningly adorable pout, and you were sure in that moment that you had never before seen him look so beautiful. You had definitely never before had such a pulling feeling in your gut that was just begging you to reach forward, just a few inches more, to capture his soft strands in your fingers, and pull his delicate mouth against your own.

In the midst of unknowingly staring at his lips, you felt his hand reach down to grab your own, slipping his fingers in between the spaces that always felt like were made to house his digits perfectly.

You only noticed how your close your faces had become when you felt the heat dancing on your cheeks, causing you to once again unceremoniously yank your hand from Yoongi’s. “Okay, I will, I’ll text when I get home. Okay. Bye. Goodbye,” you stumble out, fiercely making your way to the door. The last thing you see as you pull the door shut behind you is Yoongi still standing in the middle of the kitchen, eyes trained on his still outstretched hand, dangling empty above his floor.

_______________________________________________________________________

As you sat in class the next morning, backpack saving the seat next to you, you did everything in your power to think about absolutely anything other than Yoongi. You didn’t have enough time, however, to focus on any one thing for too long before the man in question hopped into the seat next to you, placing a warm, handcrafted beverage in front of you. Once again, “WCM” was printed into the side in his tiny, meticulous handwriting.

“I brought your favourite again today,” he offered, a smile in his voice.

You brought the drink to your lips, a grateful smile on your face, but unable to meet his eyes. “So, I’m actually talking to someone on that dating app already.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m surprised. Most of the guys on there are as gross and vulgar as can be, but this guy is actually talking to me like I’m a real person.” You tried to sound excited. You tried to make your little chuckle sound convincing. Whether your efforts were more for you or for Yoongi though, you weren’t sure.

“Ah, well that’s exciting. And most guys are gross.”

“Yeah. Wanna see a picture of him?”

“No,” Yoongi said, probably faster than he intended. “I trust your judgment. I’m sure he’s very good-looking.”

You looked up to Yoongi at that, but his gaze was trained on the PowerPoint on the back wall, refusing to meet your eyes.

_______________________________________________________________________

Later that night, you found yourself on your balcony having an evening cup of tea with your roommate, Kelsey, who knew your relationship with Yoongi probably better than anyone. You inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to ward off some of the stress of your current situation, the burnt orange sunset reflecting off your face.

“I just can’t continue on like I’ve been going,” you practically whine. “It’s getting to a point where it’s almost painful to be around him. And I don’t want to ruin the friendship I’ve built with him because I got greedy with my affection or something.”

“Well, I’m not saying that I’m not in support of you talking with your dating app boy,” Kelsey began, “But having feelings for someone does not mean you’re being greedy, _____. And you know I’m not convinced Yoongi doesn’t have feelings for you.”

You placed your head in your hands and groaned before sitting back up in your rocking chair. “You always say that, but let’s be real. We’ve known each other for several years now. If Yoongi really wanted me he would’ve said something by now.”

“The same could be said about you though, couldn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes at that. “I’m too shy. I’m not good at being open about my feelings. Yoongi knows that better than anyone.”

“But isn’t Yoongi quiet and shy as well? Particularly when it comes to his true feelings on things? At least, that’s what you’ve said before.”

“Yeah. I mean…yeah, but still.”

Kelsey nudged your knee with her own. “Hey. I just want to see you happy. You know that. And you also know I think Yoongi is a great guy, and I’ll never be convinced he doesn’t feel something for you. But I’m gonna support you doing whatever you think will make you the most happy. And if that means moving on from Yoongi, then go for it.”

You gave her a small, sad smile. “I don’t think I have much of a choice.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Once classes were finished the next day, you spent your evening time at your usual table at the cafe going over homework. There was a bit of a lull in the traffic of customers at this point, so Yoongi took the opportunity to just sit with you for a while.

“I don’t know what to be doing with myself at this point, Yoongi. We talked on the phone for a little bit today, and I was so awkward. He said he liked my accent though, so I guess that’s a good thing?” Yoongi nodded to this, offering a small smile. “I think it went well. But I’m getting terrified at the idea of meeting him in person.”

“Why?” Yoongi cocked an inquisitive brow.

“You know me, Yoons. I’m shy enough over text, but much more so meeting people in person.”

You noticed a couple of customers walking towards the counter, and nodded your head towards them so Yoongi could take notice. He turned around, and immediately rose from his chair. He walked closer to you until he was a foot in front of you. “Just remember to be yourself, _____, and if he doesn’t fall head over heels for you he’s a complete dumbass, because you’re perfect.” Right as he finished his sentence, he quickly dipped down to place a kiss to your forehead, before skipping back over to behind the counter to serve his customers.

You were left sitting in your seat, your lips forming an “o”, completely unprepared for the sudden public display of affection from your best friend. The only thing your mind knew in that moment was that the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t let you sit still for a moment longer.

You rose to your feet, grabbed your stuff, and called out a quick “Have to go now!” to Yoongi. His eyes were ripped away from the customer whose order he was taking, and his legs rushed to meet you at the other side of the counter.

“Wait! Don’t forget your tea!” he practically shouted into the café, outstretched hand offering you a paper cup.

“I didn’t order tea…” you breathed out, but found your hands reaching for the drink all the same.

“Well, it’s still your tea.” Yoongi smiled, locking eyes with you for a few moments until his waiting customer loudly cleared her throat in the background, causing him to dejectedly walk back to the other side.

You pushed your way through the doors into the cold night, and took a sip of the welcoming warmth. Peppermint tea with vanilla steamed milk. Your favourite soothing, caffeine-free drink that you only treated yourself to nights before you had a big exam or stressful day ahead of you. A treat Yoongi usually insisted on making for you himself. At this point you weren’t sure whether you enjoyed and got so much comfort from that particular drink because of the drink itself, or because of its association with Yoongi. You also weren’t sure you really wanted to know the answer to that question.

_______________________________________________________________________

The next afternoon was spent comfortably sitting next to Yoongi at the campus library, catching up on studying for the marketing exam. Or at least attempting to, as your brain deemed it fit to focus entirely on the boy next to you instead of the thick textbook in front of you. You chewed on the strings of your hoodie, sneaking a glance here and there at Yoongi’s adorable focused expression whenever you felt you had the best chance of not being caught. Eventually you failed, however, causing Yoongi to take one of his AirPods out once he saw your face studying him.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked.

“Uh, so…he asked me out! To your café, actually.” “What?” Yoongi asked, and ripped out the remaining AirPod.

“Yeah. I want to do it when you’re not working though,” - you attempted to throw out a giggle – “So what’s your schedule like tomorrow?”

Yoongi scrunched up his face, as if he couldn’t comprehend the simple information you were giving him. “You’re going out with him? The guy from the dating app?”

“Well, it’s a date. Just to meet up in real life and see how it goes. I’m really nervous…but you said it’s good, right? To be ‘vulnerable’, and put myself out there?” You gave him a wide-eyed, questioning glance.

Yoongi broke your gaze, and dragged his eyes to his clasped hands settling on the table in front of him. “I just close shop tomorrow,” he said quietly, as he dragged a hand through his hair.

“Okay, well I’ll suggest early evening, give us enough time. I just don’t want to look over my shoulder and accidentally lock eyes with you and think of an inside joke and laugh in his face, thus ruining any chance of a good first impression,” you tried to reason good-naturedly, though your smile didn’t meet your eyes.

“Makes sense,” Yoongi said.

You grinned as you reached over and gently punched Yoongi in the shoulder. He did not respond. _______________________________________________________________________

Yoongi entered the café for his closing shift with a sulk on his face, tying his apron perhaps a little tighter than he usually did. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, when he noticed you still sitting at your usual table in the back of the café. He didn’t expect to find you still there, but he most definitely didn’t think he’d find you there sitting alone.

Upon moving closer, he happened to notice that the gloomy expression on your face was rivaling his own. He gently walked towards you, wordlessly coming to a stop right in front of you, hoping your eyes would meet his own.

Although you took notice of the quiet boy standing in front of you, you continued to scroll mindlessly through your phone, refusing to look up for fear of your current emotions betraying your vulnerability. “So! He didn’t show, stopped answering any messages about an hour before he was supposed to show, and probably has no intention of ever answering messages from me again anyway. I was right, I should have trusted myself, online dating sucks butts.” Your tone was firm and final, and your eyes still refused to meet Yoongi’s.

You sensed him standing awkwardly still for a few moments, unsure of how to react to you, but you couldn’t blame him. You eventually sensed him dropping to his knees on the floor right in front of you, most likely dirtying his apron in the process. Strong, gentle hands were placed on either side of your face, physically dragging your focus away from your phone and onto your best friend’s face.

“What are you do – don’t look at me like that, Yoongi.”

You couldn’t stand the pitiful look he was giving you. If your heart wasn’t already heavy that night, it was at that moment being crushed to pieces.

“I’m not a hurt puppy, Yoongi…I’m just frustrated, is all. I didn’t really like him all that much anyway,” you said, trailing the last bit off into a mumble.

“Angel,” Yoongi breathed out.

You quirked an eyebrow at the endearment. Why did he have to make everything so much…harder?

“You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

As if on cue, the final rush of customers seemed to be gathering by the counter all at once, some of their eyes pointedly trained on Yoongi. You grasped Yoongi’s hands to take them off your face. “You have customers again,” you said, nodding your head behind you.

Yoongi begrudgingly rose to his feet and walked to behind the counter, but didn’t stop at the register, much to the chagrin of the young hipster man waiting to order his third iced Americano of the day. He instead went to the back and whipped out the biggest mug the coffee shop offered, and got to work on a drink that nobody ordered. By this point, the whole line of customers had their eyes glued to him incredulously. “Oh, I’ll be with you all in a minute,” he said to them nonchalantly.

Although you pretended to focus on your phone and not know what was going on, your insides lit up when he walked over and laid the drink down in front of you, extra whipped cream spilling over the side. You had half a mind to just reject it and leave, not wanting to have to face Yoongi any longer that night, but you couldn’t make yourself budge. “You really are trying to make me fat.” Yoongi laid a tiny pat on your head and made his way back to the counter. Feeling deflated, you sunk down even further into your seat, and decided to drown your sorrows in the tub-sized white chocolate mocha in front of you.

By the time Yoongi had rounded everyone up and out of the shop, you were so deep in your thoughts you had no concept of the time until you heard the lock on the door click, leaving you and Yoongi alone once more. A position you really didn’t trust yourself to be in in that moment. Before he had even fully made his way over to you, you had stood up, hastily rushing your dirty cup over to the counter and running back to pick up your phone and the bag you had thrown aside as soon as you knew your date wasn’t showing.

“You know you don’t have to leave yet,” he called out softly to you.

You pushed your chair back into the table, your back still turned to him.

“_____.”

You still had to force yourself to ignore him, running a hand through your hair as you surveyed the area to make sure everything was in place before you left. You knew he didn’t deserve to be treated in such a confusing manner, but you also knew what you had to do to keep yourself together in that moment.

Before you could make your break for the door, however, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist in a loving manner, and a warm face nudging gently into your neck as his chin laid over your shoulder. “I’m sorry about today. Truly.”

You couldn’t do it anymore. You swung out of his grasp and around to face him, tears stinging at your eyes. He gingerly reached out again, this time stroking your hair. “Hey,” he cooed, “You’re gonna be okay.” You scrunched up your face and looked down to your feet, causing the first silent tear to swim down your cheek. How could he be so…good,but so oblivious to what his actions did to you?

“You’re crying?”

You push against his chest to try to bring some distance between yourselves, so you could move around him and finally go home to your bed safe from boys who ghost you and from boys who fill your heart to the brim with unrequited love. “No, really it’s okay, just stop being so nice to me, please, Yoongi.”

A concerned expression graces Yoongi’s face as he cups your face in his palms for the second time that night. “What?”

“Please stop,” was all you could weakly muster out, pushing against him again. This time his hands fell limply to his side, and you took your escape out into the night, once again leaving him in a dejected confusion.

_______________________________________________________________________

You couldn’t bring yourself to get up to go to class the next morning, especially not marketing, especially especially not when you were supposed to save someone a seat in that class. You saw a notification come up on your laptop that you had one attendance point for today, and laughed, realizing it was the only time you had skipped class all semester. Maybe the first time in college, come to think of it. And all because of your best friend.

You were mindlessly flipping through tv channels when you realized you had a voicemail from Yoongi, voice full of worry, telling you about how sorry he is about that dumb guy, how much better you deserve, and whether or not he could drop by with the class notes from today for you.

You felt guilty enough to force yourself to compose a quick text just to let him know you were okay and that you’d see him in class the following Monday, but felt a ball of anxiety knot in the pit of your stomach when his immediate reply to your text was simply “come down please”.

You inch over to your curtains, pulling them back just a smidgen to look out, and there it was – Yoongi’s white car, parked directly in front of the staircase to your apartment.

You threw your favourite grey hoodie over yourself and tiptoed out of the apartment, trying not to alert Kelsey, who was getting ready for class. You took a deep breath when you began walking down the stairs, bracing yourself for whatever was ahead.

When you got to his car, Yoongi leaned over to open the passenger door for you, welcoming you into the warmth of his car. Two cups of coffee and a bag of steaming breakfast sandwiches lay on the dash, Yoongi ever the provider.

You sat in the seat next to him, and eyed him carefully for a moment, neither one of you offering to speak yet. Eventually, Yoongi nervously reached a hand over to cradle the back of your hand that was rested on your knee. “I just don’t understand it.”

“Understand what?”

“How a man could be brave enough to ask you out and then not follow up on it. The logic of that is beyond me. And –“ he held a finger up with his free hand – “I know it must be a blow to the ego. But, _____, please don’t let yourself dwell on it. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time or thoughts. You do deserve someone who takes care of you.”

You shook your head. “Yoongi, please stop talking about that stupid boy. I keep telling you, I don’t care about him. It was just a minor frustration.” You felt the familiar sting of hot tears rising to your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that week. Using your free hand, you quickly brushed away the beginnings of any that threatened to slip out.

“I know you’re hurt…” he said, ever so gently.

“Yes! I’m hurting!” you yelped in his face, maybe a little too loudly.

“And it hurts me to see you like this! I need to know how to help!” Yoongi’s tone easily matched yours in passion, but he could never bring himself to actually raise his voice. Especially not to you.

He tried to interlace his fingers with yours, but you pull your hand back. The anguished expression on his face at your rejection was just enough to push your tears over the edge, and they once again flowed freely.

“Stop hurting me then! We can’t keep going like this, Yoons, I care about you too much, I…I –“ you trailed off almost at the point of hyperventilation, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to do anything to keep yourself calm.

The shock on Yoongi’s face was unlike anything you’d seen on him before. He was almost to the point of tears himself now. “What? Angel, am I hurting you somehow? You have to tell me, I love you, the last thing in this life I want to do is hurt you…”

“I love you too! But not in the way you think! And I’m sorry, I’ve tried so, so hard to not think about it and, and to just move on but. I can’t! I fucking love you, Yoongi!” You didn’t try to scream it out as loudly as you did. But there it was. Out there now, and it couldn’t be taken back…there was no mistaking your feelings this time. You couldn’t bear to see what would come next, and buried your face in your arms as you sobbed your heart out.

If Yoongi’s shocked silence was any more deafening, your ear drums would’ve burst. It took way too long for an eventual soft “Hey…” to roll of his tongue.

“Stop crying.”

You kept your head hidden, sobbing onto your own arms.

“I love you too…I mean it. I’ve tried to show it to you for years, but I just wasn’t brave enough to say it, oh my god I love you so much, oh my gosh please stop crying you’re breaking my heart – “

Your heard whipped up now, puffy red eyes meeting his own swollen ones. “What are you talking about?”

“I. Love. You.”

You knew you probably should’ve stopped crying as loudly at that point, but you couldn’t. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Yoongi whipped the arm rest backward to remove the only barrier from between you two, and pushed his chair till it went as far back as it could go. “Come here,” he said, patting his own chest.

You took the hand he offered out to you, awkwardly trying to maneuver yourself over to him. You sat facing him, straddling his lap, and he pulled your sniffling form tight into his warm chest. “Please don’t be sad anymore,” he whispered into your hair, hand rubbing soothing circles into your back.

You pushed off of him to bring yourself to an upright position so that you could see his face. He looked so beautiful, eyes staring at you full of emotion, his delicate hand thumbing at the hair on the nape of your neck. Your head still swam with all of the new information it was trying to hold, but for the first time in a long while, you truly felt like everything was going to be okay. He leaned forward and rubbed his nose against yours, barely touching it. You tilted your head up to place a gentle kiss on the tip of his button nose.

He let out a soft giggle – music to your ears -  and gently placed a palm on your cheek. He rested his forehead against your head, but kept his eyes fully open and trained on yours. “So…is there any chance you’d like to be my girlfriend?”

You nodded and giggled like a silly schoolgirl, but were cut off by his warm lips pressing against your own. You were caught off guard at first, but soon melted into the kiss, becoming putty under his touch.

A few seconds later he pulled away, not wanting to overwhelm you, but you were having none of that. Your fingers curled around the collar of his hoodie, dragging him back to you as soon as you caught your breath. Just like you had dreamed about so many times before, you let your fingers tangle in his dark locks and twisted them accordingly. The small groan of appreciation he let slip out of the back of his throat was all the encouragement you needed to melt into him further. You felt him push against your shoulders, leaning backward until a loud “HONK” sounded from the horn under you, causing you to break apart with a jolt. Yoongi hugged you back into his body with a chuckle, leaning backwards against his seat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, and placed a soft kiss under his jaw.

“Maybe we should try to make it to our last classes of the day,” he said with a laugh, the reverberations in his chest rumbling against your hand that was laid there.

“Maybe we should,” you said, peppering his jaw with gentle kisses.

_______________________________________________________________________

Twenty minutes later, you were being driven to class, Yoongi’s right hand intertwined with your left, resting against your lap. You felt your phone buzz and checked to see an attachment text from Kelsey. You opened it with curiosity, to find a photo she had evidently snapped on the way to her car earlier.

You on Yoongi, front seat of his car, making out like high schoolers. The caption? “Happy for u”.

You were happy for you, too.

#yoongi x reader #bts fluff #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #suga x reader #pls even if you have notes on how i can make his character or something #any and all feedback is so appreciated!! #also please forgive my master list and blog still under construction #my stuff #pt #yoongi

[thebiasrekkers]

The Girl In The Window - MYG

For @prisczero​, a companion story to their fic The Boy In The Window. 

Plot: The girl next door romance - except it’s a window.

Rating: PG // SFW

Genre: fluff | romance | next door neighbors

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female Reader

Warnings: None

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 3,152

AN: I adore this story concept and wanted to do something special; mostly because they’re such a huge fan of my BTS Mafia series, “Make It Right”. So yeah, this is for you. I hope this makes your week! Please go check out her stuff, she’s amazing. All reblogs, critiques/reviews, comments and affection are accepted! Happy reading!

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

He wasn’t a morning person.

Not by a long shot.

But what choice did he have since the movers only had a slot available at 7AM? If he didn’t do it now, Yoongi would be forced to wait until tomorrow to get the rest of his shit together at his new place. He wasn’t about to wait. He’d waited long enough. He needed to get out now.

After four hours, all of his belongings were situated in his new apartment. It was modest, modern, and simple enough that he wouldn’t complain. Attachments were hard for him and he didn’t expect himself to be staying there longer than a year. Moving around helped him think; helped broaden his horizon and expand his spreadsheet of experiences.

It helped breathe life into his music.

The sun was out, but Yoongi was a Night Owl. He showered, ate a frozen dinner, and trudged to his bedroom. He pulled the blackout curtains over the window and crawled into bed. He didn’t care if his hair was wet or that the window was still open. If he caught a cold, oh-fucking-well. He’d get over it. 

Just like every other obstacle in his life.

Waking up several hours later, Yoongi busied himself with unpacking a few boxes. Mainly the ones for his mini studio. Monitors were arranged on a desk, an electronic keyboard plugged into the wall and situated one side of the L-shaped desk. A sound board sat off just to the left of his keyboard and two large speakers rested on the floor on either sides of his desk. Hooking up the robot arm to his microphone, he adjusted the shock mount and pop-filter, swiveling it back and forth to make sure it was exactly where he wanted it to be. 

Desktop tower, dozens of cords and cables, and readjustment of his desk chair later, he was finally satisfied with his work station. Yoongi booted up everything, made sure all of his programs were running smoothly, before debating on making dinner. A loud stomach growl following the thought was the deciding factor.

He opted for cup noodles this time.

Itching to get to work, he slurped down noodles as he pulled up his music making software. Hitting the ‘enter’ key, the bass fired off with a deep melody rolling through the tones. He eyeballed the time, not caring that it was late. It wasn’t like he was being loud and he didn’t have downstairs neighbors to worry about. As far as he knew, the walls were made of reinforced concrete.

Too bad he forgot that the window was open.

Yoongi blinked rapidly, his vision blurring momentarily as he stared listlessly at the computer screen. A soft haze of smoke wafted into his line of sight, reminding him that he hadn’t knocked off the ash on his cigarette in about ten minutes. Crossing his eyes, he saw that the cigarette nearly burned out to the filter. Sighing, he groped around for his can of soda. Shaking it, he dropped the ash and cigarette but into the mouth of the can. He took a moment to pull the sleeve of his hoodie back to look at his watch. It was almost three in the morning. 

“Maybe I should take a break,” he muttered, already standing from his chair. 

He stretched, popping a few bones and releasing the tension on the muscles around his neck and shoulders. Patting his pockets, he found his pack of smokes. He was already lighting up another cigarette as he made his way out to the window. Pulling back the blackout curtains, Yoongi mentally noted that he needed to do laundry at the end of the week. Regardless of his terrible habit, it didn’t mean he enjoyed sleeping in an ashtray.

Blinking against the light of the moon, Yoongi brushed his fingers through his hair. And that’s when he saw her. She looked lost in her own thoughts, hugging her arms close to her chest. He wondered if she was cold and thought about asking her, but then realized how creepy that would come across.

Inhaling slowly, he leaned out of the window. The ember glow from the end of the cigarette distracted him momentarily. He still didn’t know what he wanted to say, so Yoongi croaked out the only thing he could think of that wouldn’t sound completely asinine.

“Hey.”

Resting his elbows on the window sill, Yoongi swiveled the cigarette to the side of his mouth so he could get a better look at his neighbor. She seemed to scrutinize him, sizing him up. He wondered if she was going to say something about how loud he’d been the last few weeks.

“Hey. Smoking isn’t good for you, you know.”

He blinked, surprised that this was the answer she was giving him. He half expected to get cussed out because he’d been a lousy neighbor. He hadn’t introduced himself or even bothered to stop by to get to know his neighbors. Was it because he had no plans to stick around for longer than the lease term?

Chuckling, he watched the smoke push from between his teeth as he flashed her a grin. “You’re right.” And after a few seconds, Yoongi felt his deadpan expression return. It was his normal look - the one coined as his “resting bitch face” by others. “Hold on.”

Pulling away from the window, he reached around for the soda can on his desk. Holding both the cigarette and the can, he made a show of throwing the remaining cigarette into it. He waved the can back and forth, a gesture of “good faith” was what he would call it.

“Last one.”

She scoffed. Rightfully so. 

“You’re telling me you’re gonna quit smoking?”

He nodded and Yoongi watched as she shook her head. She didn’t have a reason to believe him. Hell, he didn’t half believe it himself. However, instead of disgust, there was a ghost of a smile on her face. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“Just like that?”

Yoongi’s expression remained neutral. But even he could feel his eyes tightening up around the corners as he held back a snicker. He’d often been told that his eyes had a way of smiling even if his mouth didn’t. Sometimes he was just too honest. Or at least his eyes were.

Nothing else was said between them. He opened his mouth, prepared to continue the conversation, but soon realized it would fall flat. Again, he tried and, again, he shut his mouth. He rubbed at his fringe in frustration, attempting to start the conversation back up. There had to be something…

“What’s your name?” he finally blurted out, peering intently across the small expanse of space that separated them. 

She crossed her arms across her chest, humming to herself. She was probably surmising whether or not it was a good idea to divulge such information to him. Especially if he’d been a rude neighbor up until this point.

“You first.”

Brows knit over his eyes, but he chuckled a little to himself. She wasn’t about to make this easy for him. “I’m Yoongi. Your turn.”

And then she smiled; a soft gesture that seemed to pull the breath straight out of his lungs. “My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he murmured to himself, rolling it over his tongue. 

Movement caught his attention and he watched Y/N shuffle slightly, her arms tightening around her chest. Maybe she really was cold. It was late, after all. 

There was a cascade of andromeda reflected in her eyes, stirring something inside of him. For what felt like an eternity, nothing else was said between them. Instead, Yoongi watched as Y/N looked lost in her own world. He couldn’t help but think it was a little adorable that she seemed lost inside of her own head.

He’d leave her to it. There was something he needed to work on; now more than ever.

Yoongi disappeared into his room, closing the window. But he didn’t bother with the blackout curtains. He wanted her to see the light of his computer; to let her know that he was still there.

Pressing the “enter” key on his computer, the soft bass drummed across the speakers and reverberated off the floor. The rhythm wasn’t harsh or distracting. It was chill, soft like a whispered echo lost across the skies. 

Y/N looked a little tired. Maybe this will help her sleep.

Grinning, he threw the can into the trash by his desk. Setting up an automation playlist of things he’d worked on, he made sure that every piece was something relaxing. It would be loud enough to press through the glass. 

He knew that it would reach her.

Yoongi didn’t think there would be another night after that one. He was pretty sure he’d turned her off from wanting anything to do with him. It wasn’t like the 80’s where you could simply hold casual conversations with the next door neighbor through their window. Hell, it would have been more comical with two cans connected with a line of string.

That sounded more interesting.

But providence decided to show him some mercy and granted it to him. 

Then another. 

And another. 

And another.

The days turned into weeks - the two of them meeting every night to chat side by side with two full arm lengths separating them. For the first time in years, Yoongi could feel a connection that didn’t feel cheap or contrived. It was true and he didn’t have to question it. Y/N was so honest that he knew it to be true without poking or prodding her over it.

They laughed, fussed, cussed and nitpicked at each other. Yoongi couldn’t remember a time when he’d smiled so much; when he wasn’t throwing himself into his music and nothing else. When he wasn’t allowing for anything else to intrude into his world. He kept it that close to him for a reason. He kept his distance for a reason.

But not with her. 

With Y/N, he wanted to let her in. He wanted to get even closer to her. Closer than the stretch of arms and fingers it would take to reach her.

He wanted to touch her - to hold her hand and be near her than he was already allowed.

Groaning, he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. A small cluster of cigarette butts were piled in the plastic ashtray. He told her he’d quit smoking, but the mounting stress on his shoulders was about as much as he could stand. Yoongi couldn’t focus. Work was becoming tedious and while producing music was his passion, there was the constant yearning for a need to be resolved pulling at the forefront of his mind. 

This wasn’t going to work. He had to get this out of his system because whether he said it out loud or not, he knew one thing was true.

He couldn’t get Y/N out of his mind.

Sighing, he grabbed his hoodie. He decided that he needed to just see her. Not from the window, but from her front door.

A cold wind whipped through his body, halting him in his steps. Pulling out his phone, he spied the time. Normally she was home by now, but it was also getting a little late. She hadn’t called out to him so there was a chance that she was asleep. Hell, she probably could have been out with her own friends.

Making his way to her front door, he lifted up his hand to knock. But just before his knuckles could hit the surface, his nerves seemed to knot up inside his stomach. All of his worries, all of his doubts, came flooding across him mercilessly.

What if she doesn’t feel the same? he thought, his brows furrowing slightly as his hand slowly pulled away from the door. What if she pushes me away?

Yoongi roughly shook his head back and forth, pivoting away from the door. He couldn’t face her like this. He needed to clear his head. He needed to come back with more confidence. If she rejected him, she rejected him. They could at least still be friends. She could still smile at him.

Things didn’t have to change if he couldn’t have her.

He walked for what felt like miles, even though he knew it was only a few blocks. An hour passed and Yoongi knew he needed to head back. It was late, past the allotted time they usually met up, but he knew he had to take the chance now. Nothing would be certain if he did nothing.

Once again, he stood outside of her door. Yoongi attempted to swallow the lump in his throat, his heart jack hammering wildly in his chest. And once again, he raised his hand up to knock on the door.

It’s now or never, he thought.

But before his knuckles could hit the door, it swung open. His eyes went wide and he blinked in surprise as Y/N let out a small squeak of surprise. Yoongi stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, rocking back on his heels as he looked back at her.

“Hey.”

Silence. She seemed to be gathering herself before her own lips parted to speak.

“Hey.” 

Her voice sounded a little off; like she was attempting to dam up everything inside of her. Yoongi wasn’t sure what to say, so he opted to shift his weight from one foot to the other. This wasn’t how he’d planned it. It was like seeing Y/N’s face knocked all the fight straight out of him.

“Are you okay? I was worried when you didn’t show up! And there was no music, and–”

Yoongi blinked up at her. Under the light of the moon and the street light on the corner, her eyes shined like diamonds. It wasn’t until that same sheen pooled around the lower parts of her eyes that he realized she was about to cry. He stepped forward on impulse, his hands resting on either sides of her face as his thumbs swept away the tears that began to fall.

“Shh, don’t cry. I’m okay,” he said softly, and he couldn’t help the small smile that was forming on his lips. He couldn’t believe that she was worried over him like that. She’d been waiting for him all along. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

He felt her leaning her cheek into one of his palms, causing his heart to skip a beat. She looked so pretty under the light that it almost hurt to look at her. 

“Why didn’t you come?”

And then her question, her soft voice, did make him close his eyes.

What could he say that wouldn’t sound like an excuse? What would even make sense?

The truth.

“I wanted to come to your door this time. But as I was about to knock, I chickened out...” He took a breath, wetting his lips and opening his eyes to look down at Y/N. “I just - I couldn’t do it. I was nervous…” He sighed. “So, I went out for a walk. Thought it would clear my head. But then I realized over an hour had gone by and I came back and… as soon as I was about to knock, the door swung open.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle a little at what just transpired moments ago, as well as how in sync they both were. He was worried about her and she was worried about him. He wanted to see her up close and she was about to run next door to do just that.

Yoongi saw her smile, the insides of his palms wet from the fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Her smile was the only reassurance that he had to know that they weren’t tears of sadness. 

“Yoongi?”

Again, he wiped at her face. “Yes? Why are you crying again?”

She shook her head back and forth, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. A knot twisted inside of Yoongi’s chest as his hands rested on her shoulders. He gave them a gentle squeeze, unable to chase the concern from his mind.

“I’m just happy.” Y/N looked back up at him and he gave a soft sigh of relief. “I’ve wanted to be this close to you for so long. I even had dreams about it.”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “But you were scared of rejection.”

It wasn’t a question. She nodded.

Leaning down, he brought his face closer to hers - smelling the faint scent of her shampoo. “Me too. But here we are, aren’t we?”

He gave a voice to his feelings at last. Yoongi wasn’t sure where he’d mustered the courage. Maybe it was her tears. Or knowing that she was that worried about him, that her heart was drawing itself toward him without realizing it. Whatever the reason, Yoongi knew that he was so thankful.

Thankful for her.

“Y/N?” Her eyes lifted to meet his gaze and he let it linger there before lowering to stare down at her slightly parted mouth. “I want to kiss you.” 

His eye-line shifted to meet hers once more, waiting for her to give him permission to claim what he’d longed to taste for days now. Y/N said nothing. But she did, however, nod, and that was all he needed. One hand moved from her shoulder to rest at the back of her neck, pulling her into his space. His lips pressed gently over hers, sealing them with a soft kiss. Darkness overtook everything as he shut his eyes, wanting to enhance the flavor of this moment more than anything else.

Slowly, Yoongi pulled back - removing his mouth from hers. His fingers danced through the soft baby hairs at the nape of her neck and he stroked his thumb along the length of her jawline. There was a pinkish tint to her cheeks and he grinned down at her, the onset of tears clear in her eyes. 

Once again, silence filled the void. He wanted to hear her voice again; to know that this wasn’t a dream. Anything would have been fine. Yoongi just wanted to know it was from her.

Nerves bundled up around his chest; the all-too-familiar butterflies dancing in the pit of his stomach. And then Y/N took a breath, causing you to get lost in her gaze again. This woman who managed to send you soaring high and grounding you at the same time.

This girl he’d met through his window.

“You taste like cigarettes.”

Yoongi quickly bit his lip, stifling an outburst of laughter, before leaning in to bring you back into his center of gravity. Seconds before his lips met hers, he flashed a devious smirk at her.

“Last one, promise.”

#bangtanarmynet #hyunglinenetwork #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #kwordsmiths #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts min yoongi x reader #bts suga x reader #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi romance

[out-of-jams]

Airplane Mode | Track 01: Piece of Peace (P.O.P.) | jhs

Summary: Set in the same universe as Love at First Touch by bagelswrites.

In a world where a bruise marks the first touch of your soulmate, time is the only thing that matters. The marks take hours to appear, sometimes even days if you're really unlucky. Once First Touch is initiated, both parties only have a few weeks to find the other. From then on, the body begins to reject any form of sustenance other than the touch of the other. If one fails to find their soulmate, they starve to death.

So what happens when your soulmate is an internationally famous idol?

And you're just one fan in a sea of many who can't even speak the same language.

Pairing: Hoseok x Fem Character

Word Count: 4.7k

Genre: Fluff. Angst. Idol!au. Smut. Soulmate!au. Explicit language.

Warnings: This chapter contains swearing and a description of a panic attack. If you wish to skip the panic attack part, do not read the end of the last section.

Words written like this are words spoken in Korean.

                      Next | Masterlist | Track List |

“Where the hell are you?”

A femine voice yelled into the phone pressed against her ear. The loud, excited chatter of the group of young girls in line in front of her threatened to drown out her voice. Pulling the drenched hood of her hoodie further over her head, the girl attempted to shield herself from the cold rain.

“I’m a block away. Don’t get your panties in a wad, Jae.”

Eunjae huffed as the deep voice of her best friend grumbled through the phone’s speaker. She watched as her breath dispersed from her mouth in a cloud of white and almost, almost, felt a brief whisper of regret.

The denim of Eunjae’s jacket caught on the brick of the building she was leaning against and she muttered a curse. It was the middle of January in New York City and damn was it cold . Even after living in the city for most of her life, Eunjae still didn’t know how she managed to survive the cold months. Eyes narrowed on the back of the girl’s BTS sweatshirt in front of her, Eunjae reminded herself of why she was enduring such torture.

Do it for the boys,  she sang the mantra in her head, bouncing on the toes of her Doc Martens in a poor attempt at warming up.  For those beautiful boys and their beautiful voices.  

The teenaged girl in line behind her let out a screech of excitement and Eunjae gripped the phone in her hand tighter. Teeth chattering, she opened her mouth to respond to her best friend on the other line.

“Yeah well, you left me forever ago and I’m dying over here. Do you want to be responsible for my death, Miles?”

“First off, I left to get an umbrella ten minutes ago, you ingrate. Jesus, you’re so overdramatic.” Eunjae could feel the boy rolling his eyes over the phone. “Besides, you’re the one who dragged me all the way out here, so you can’t even complain.”

“Dragged you?” Eunjae raised an eyebrow even though he wasn’t there to see it. “You peed your pants when I told you I got tickets to a fanmeet with BTS.”

“I did not pee my pants ! I just got a little excited, okay?”

Eunjae’s laughter rang into the air and she could taste the rain on her tongue as she tilted her head back. “You said the same thing in fifth grade after you wet yourself in front of the whole cla-”

Click.

A grunt of annoyance left her at the sudden dial tone ringing in her ear. “That idiot hung up on me.”

“Yeah, well, you were being rude as hell.”

The rain that had been pelting the top of her white hoodie ceased and Eunjae turned her head to find Miles towering over her. His white-blond hair was completely drenched, flopping over his tan forehead. The rain had ruined whatever product she knew he must have spent hours that morning putting into it. Miles had the black hood of his thin sweatshirt thrown up over his head in a meager attempt at shielding himself from the downpour. The zipper was pulled up just far enough to show off the silver chains around his neck, and the top of his purple “eat, sleep, BTS, repeat” shirt stuck out from under his soaked sweatshirt.

The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the clear umbrella he held in his hand eased some of the nervous tension in Eunjae’s body. She slid the hood off her head and ran a hand through the damp silver tresses. The rings adorned on one of her hands caught on a particularly stubborn tangle and she grimaced in pain.

“Yeah, well, hanging up is also rude as hell.” Eunjae fired back, finally succeeding in taming her long hair.

“I don’t know why I put up with you.” Miles rolled his green eyes before nodding his head towards the front of the line. “Ooh, I think they’re finally letting us in. Just in time too! Hallelujah! I can not wait to finally get to meet those beautiful specimens they call humans.”

“And you call me overdramatic.” Eunjae muttered under her breath with a small smile. Miles was right. The doors to the venue had finally been opened, and the line slowly started to trickle into the building.

As the pair made their way towards the staff checking tickets at the door, Eunjae began to feel her palms sweat. She’d been a fan of BTS for the past year, and even though Miles teased her for being so late to hop onto the BTS Express, she was beyond excited. And nervous. Very, very nervous.

Bangtan Sonyeondan had gained so much traction in the last year that they were practically a household name. Eunjae had been trying to get tickets to one of their concerts ever since Miles introduced them to her. But Bangtan hadn’t had anything scheduled in New York City until now.

Winning a lottery for a fanmeet with BTS was something that Eunjae had never imagined happening to her. When she’d gotten the email, she’d screamed so loud that her grandmother barged into her room armed with a baseball bat because she’d thought they were getting robbed. Eunjae had called Miles up right away, who’d literally burst into tears over FaceTime. He’d been a fan of BTS since they first debuted, but he’d only ever been to a few concerts; nothing as personal and intimate as a fanmeet.

One of the staff at the front of the line scanned the tickets on Eunjae’s phone and they were ushered in with a short wave of the hand. Stepping inside, Eunjae let out a sigh as the warmth of the building’s central heating hit her frozen skin.

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” Miles squeaked as they walked down the aisle of the room holding the fanmeet. There were about a hundred black folding chairs set up in multiple rows, the first few rows already being taken up by fans. Front and center of the room was a small stage with a long tablecloth table and seven empty chairs.

“Stop, you’re making me more nervous.” Eunjae elbowed Miles in the side. The line had snaked its way around and her short legs bumped into the neatly lined chairs as she shuffled into their row.

“Sorry, not sorry.” Miles let out a shaky breath as they took a seat. Eunjae could feel the cold of the metal beneath her damp, ripped skinny jeans and she shivered.

Glancing over at Miles as he nervously fiddled with the folded umbrella between his legs, Eunjae reached over to pat the top of one of his cold hands. She hadn’t seen him this nervous since he’d confessed to a boy he’d been crushing on in their junior year math class years ago. Even though they teased and annoyed the crap out of each other, the two of them always looked out for each other.

“You okay?” She asked, eyebrows scrunched in concern, pushing her own nervousness to the wayside.

“Yeah, I’m good, JJ.” Miles bumped his grey jeaned leg into hers. “Just nervous. Like, what if I go to say something to them and just...just...?”

“Pee your pants?”

An unattractive snort shot out of his nose and he shook his head with a smile. “You know what? I hope you mess up those Korean phrases you spent so much time learning.”

“I’ll have you know that I didn’t spend that much time learning them.’” Eunjae turned her nose up at him. “I am  half Korean, ‘ya know. So I know what I’m-”

“You literally spent two days trying to figure out how to say ‘hi, my name is Eunjae Morales,’ you poser.”

Eunjae’s snarky response was cut off as the girls and few boys around them erupted into screams. Head snapping back around to the front of the room, Eunjae’s mouth parted as seven of the world’s most beautiful human beings stepped out onto the stage one after another.

The album cover clenched between Eunjae’s white knuckled fingers was the only thing keeping her grounded. The line of fans in front of her were dwindling down as one after another, they took their turn stepping in front of the long table at the front of the room. Despite the water still dampening her clothes, Eunjae felt herself breaking into a nervous sweat. Maybe she should have taken off the denim jacket, but it was too late now.

“I’m looking at Kim Namjoon right now.” Miles clutched at Eunjae’s elbow, his green eyes blown wide as they locked onto the first person seated at the table. “ Kim Namjoon . I can’t breathe.”

Nodding in silent agreement, Eunjae couldn’t bring herself to form words as she stared past the few people left in front of her in line. Kim Namjoon, famed leader of Bangtan Sonyeondan, sat in the first chair. Tanned skin and dimpled cheeks, he hid his symmetrical face behind one of his big hands shyly as the fan kneeling in front of him whispered something to him. Pink, full lips pulling up into an embarrassed smile, Kim Namjoon crossed one of his long legs over the other beneath the table.

“I swear to God, if Seokjin speaks to me, I might actually spontaneously combust.” Miles was going to leave a bruise if he clutched at her arm any longer.

Wincing, Eunjae pried his fingers from her person. Breathing in shakily, she joked, “well, I hope everyone knows where the fire exits are.”

“Stop using humor to deflect.” Miles wasn’t even looking at her, too busy ogling the next man sitting at the table: Min Yoongi.

“Wow, call me out on my faults, will you?” Eunjae didn’t even comprehend what she was saying as she watched wide-eyed as the person in front of her stepped onto the small stage and kneeled down in front of Kim Namjoon. “Some friend you are.”

“Holy shit you’re next.” Miles breathed.

“Holy shit I’m next.”

Eunjae felt her breath catch in her throat as the space in front of Namjoon cleared. She didn’t have a particular bias out of the members, but the confident brilliance of Kim Namjoon just did something to her.

Her dark eyes widened when the staff member positioned next to the stage waved her forward. It took Miles prodding her in the back for her to move, feet shuffling up the small steps to the stage. As she kneeled down in front of Namjoon and placed her album onto the table, he looked up from his marker with a smile.

Wow, those dimples are dangerous , she thought, mouth opening and closing without sound.

“Hello.” Kim Namjoon’s deep voice was like butter as he reached for her album. “What’s your name?”

“Uh,” she stuttered out unintelligently as he neatly signed his signature onto the album. All of the Korean that she’d practiced beforehand slipped completely from her mind. She was just lucky that Namjoon was fluent in English. “Eunjae Morales.”

“Nice to meet you, Eunjae.” Namjoon’s cheeks dimpled as he held up a hand for her to high five. Her small hand gently tapped his and she almost died on the spot.

“You too.” Enjae wouldn’t have been able to say anything more even if she’d wanted to. A staff member appeared behind Namjoon from seemingly out of nowhere to wave her on. She was barely able to squeeze out a “fighting!” before she slid down to the next member.

Eunjae’s interaction with Min Yoongi passed in a blur. She’d barely been able to stammer out a sentence from underneath his unfaltering gaze. And when he flashed her his patented gummy smile, Eunjae couldn’t help the shy grin she sent back in return. In the middle of his accented sentence in English, he lifted up a hand for her to high five, smile widening at the blush that spread across her cheeks.

Sliding down the table, she glanced up and felt the breath stutter in her chest when she met the dark eyes of Kim Seokjin. His face was even more beautiful in person and when his plush lips tilted up in a smile, she almost fainted on the spot. His dark hair was parted to reveal forehead and the lightly tanned skin of his arms shone under the lights as he reached out for her album. Seokjin didn’t know a lot of English, however, so they weren’t really able to converse. But he sent another radiant smile her way as he grasped one of her hands in both of his and squeezed gently.

Before moving down again, Eunjae took a peak at Miles behind her. She had to muffle her laughter from his wide-eyed stare of awe as he admired the beautiful Kim Seokjin. Lips twitching, she shuffled down the table once again with shaking hands.

“Hello!” The enthusiastic greeting of Jung Hoseok met her ears in his cute, accented English.

Wow, this is just not fair.  Eunjae barely stopped herself from speaking the thoughts out loud. Hoseok’s eyes turned into crescent moons as he grinned down at her, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. A grey bucket hat hid most of his wavy, dark hair from view, and Eunjae was glad that his stylists didn’t force him to straighten it. Popping up between the corners of his pink lips and high cheekbones were tiny, cute dimples.

“Hi.” Eunjae answered, hands coming up to cover the bottom half of her face shyly. Why are all these men so beautiful?  

Ignoring the album in front of him, Hoseok excitedly gestured a ringed finger back and forth between them before declaring, “the same!”

Eunjae tilted her head in confusion at his words for a moment before glancing down at where he was gesturing. A very unladylike snort left her as soon as she noticed what he meant. Hoseok was dressed in a plain white T-shirt with a denim jacket thrown over it, incidentally matching with her white hoodie and denim jacket.

“Hey, I had this on first.” The words came out automatically, muffled as she spoke around the fingers covering her lips. Her nervousness caused the words to stumble out without her permission. “You copied me.”

Hoseok’s contagious laughter burst from his lips and his hand stopped waving between them as he leaned forward. Elbows propped onto the table, he reached out to gently pull Eunjae’s hands from her face. Smaller hands held in his long fingers, Hoseok’s glittering eyes roved her face.

“Name?”

Attempting to force the blush from her cheeks, Eunjae sputtered out the first words that came to mind. Which was, finally , the correct translation of her practiced introduction in Korean. It seemed almost impossible, but Hoseok’s smile widened even more as he stared at her in surprise, hands squeezing her own.

“ You speak Korean ?”  

Eunjae blinked as she attempted to slowly translate the rapid fire Korean that just left his lips. Her brow creased as she grasped at the words that had long since been buried in the back of her brain. She hadn’t held a conversation in Korean since she was a kid, and what was once easily translated now came with great difficulty.

“ Uh, very small. ” Eunjae winced at what she was sure was an incorrect sentence. “ Sorry .”

Hoseok let go of her hands and leaned forward to gently sandwich her burning cheeks between his soft palms. “ Gwiyeopda !”

That word Eunjae did not know, though it sounded vaguely familiar. Before she could form a response, the space in front of Kim Taehyung, who sat next to Hoseok, finally emptied. A staff member materialized over Hoseok’s shoulder to gesture her along. He gave Eunjae one last parting, dimpled smile before finally releasing her. He quickly signed album that laid forgotten between them before sliding it down to the left.

“Bye-bye!”

Eunjae sent him a parting smile and a stammered “bye” before finding herself kneeling in front of the beautiful Kim Taehyung. Sitting this close, she was able to make out all the details of his visage. His golden skin practically glowed under the lights of the room and his hair had recently been dyed a beautiful blond. Long, slender fingers gently slid her album closer to himself. With one double lidded eye, and one single lidded eye, he peered up at her from under his long lashes as he enthusiastically scrawled his signature.

“Hi!” Taehyung let his marker fall carelessly to the table and he reached out to grab onto her hands. Fingers intertwining with hers, he sent her a cute boxy smile and waved their conjoined hands side to side.

“Hi!” Eunjae had always been the type of person to automatically mold her energy to the people around her. And Taehyung’s energy was definitely nudging hers from shy to excited.

Like Seokjin, Taehyung’s grasp on the English language was very limited. So their interaction just consisted of him waving their conjoined hands around in a very uncoordinated dance. Meeting an adorable Park Jimin, who had been sitting next to Taehyung, and a shy Jeon Jungkook passed by in the blink of an eye.

Before she knew it, Eunjae was descending the tiny steps to the stage. She didn’t make it far down the aisle before Miles was back at her side, hand snaking out to clutch onto her arm for dear life.

“This has been the single, most greatest day of my life.” He gushed as they sat back down. Miles let his eyes trail back over the line of boys sitting at the table with a starstruck expression. “I think I’m in love.”

Nodding, Eunjae subtly flexed her hands. “It should be illegal to be that beautiful.”

“Then I would be in jail, sweetie.”

Shaking her head, Eunjae turned back to the front of the room and watched as the seven men bounced their energy off of one another. Jimin had the microphone in his hand, playfully taunting a glaring Seokjin. As the last few fans trickled off the stage, all Eunjae could think about for the rest of the fanmeet was how cold her hands felt.

Bare feet sinking into the soft, shag carpet underneath the couch in Miles’ one bedroom apartment, Eunjae groggily sat up. Dawn was just beginning to peek through the closed blinds of the small living room as she sat upright for a few moments to gather her bearings. Eunjae’s head pounded in sync with her heartbeat, each bump-bump sending a searing pain through her skull.

After the fanmeet the day previous, Eunjae and Miles had retreated back to his tiny one bedroom apartment in the lower West Side. After stuffing themselves with leftover chinese food, the two of them had ended up retreating to bed. Too lazy to hike down to the subway to trek all the way back home to Queens, Eunjae raided Miles’ closet for pajamas and crashed shortly after.

Eyes squinting groggily at the clock face on the tv’s cable box, Eunjae grumbled angrily at her pressing bladder. She’d only been asleep for a few hours and the warmth of the couch cushions was calling to her. Ignoring the temptation, she slowly rose to her feet, muscles weak and achy like she’d decided to run a marathon the day previous.

Eunjae blindly felt her way down the short hallway between the living room and kitchenette, stumbling through the first door on the left. The lone window behind the bathroom counter was enough for her to see by. So, without bothering to turn the light on, she locked the door and shuffled across the room. After doing her business, she ran her hands under the warm tap water, eyes closed. It wasn’t until she turned off the tap that she looked up.

“Holy shit .”

Eyes wide in alarm, she braced herself against the counter and leaned to further inspect herself in the mirror hanging above the sink. Both sides of her face were covered in ugly, dark purple bruises. They were the darkest right on the apple of her cheeks before fading to a greenish-yellow around her chin and right under her eyes.

“What the hell?”

Eunjae reached out a shaky finger to gently prod at one of her cheeks, only to stop halfway once she noticed the bruising that covered the back of her hand as well. Both hands, in fact. How had she managed to hurt herself to such an extent without even realising? Actually, Eunjae was pretty sure that those bruises hadn’t been there when she went to sleep. Were those…?

Heart leaping in her throat, Eunjae threw the bathroom door open and screamed out for Miles. She refused to tear her eyes away from her reflection in disbelief at what she was seeing. The bruises looked familiar to something that had been covered in every year of grade school since the third grade. But it couldn’t be. She couldn’t have…

“Why are you screaming bloody murder?” The groggy, sleep filled voice of Miles reached out for her from down the hallway and she let out a shaky breath before answering.

“Miles, I need you to come look at this and tell me I’m crazy.”

“What?” His voice was closer now, and Eunjae saw his head poke into the bathroom through the mirror. “Why are you standing here in the dark like a...oh, my God.”

“Please tell me that I fell down somewhere last night and just don’t remember it.” Eunjae pleaded, the cold edge of the counter digging into her stomach.

The boy didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved to stand next to her, his sharp profile catching her eye as he stared down at the bruises on her face. Miles reached out a hand as if he were going to trace her cheek, but he stopped halfway, hand hanging limp between them.

“No,” his voice was quiet as he stared in awe. “No, you didn’t fall.”

There was a beat of silence where neither of them spoke. The only noise that filled the still air was the soft melody of a songbird perched somewhere outside the window.

“Eunjae.” Miles hadn’t used her first name since they were children. “Those look like that marks of First Touch.”

Eunjae couldn’t verbally respond. She just nodded her head slowly in agreement.

“I think you met your soulmate.”

The marks that covered her skin were not ordinary bruises; they were soulmarks, the sign of First Touch. The first time someone’s skin brushed against that of their soulmate’s, it left behind a bruise at the point of contact. Not right away, however, it took hours, sometimes even days, for them to appear on the skin.

Finding your soulmate sounded great on paper, but once First Touch was initiated, both parties only got a few weeks to find the other. From then on, the body would begin to reject any form of sustenance other than the touch of the other. If one failed to find their soulmate, they starved to death. It wasn’t very common, only three-fourths of the population succeeded in finding their soulmate. It was a rarity. A blessing, some called it.

Or a curse.

“Yeah..,” Eunjae’s voice trailed off, mind reeling. “I think so too.”

Miles turned his head to met her eyes through the mirror. “Do you know who it is?”

Shaking her head, Eunjae answered, “the only people I touched yesterday were you, and--”

Both of their eyes widened at the same time. Their voices bounced off the tiled walls as they spoke as one: “Bangtan.”

“Do you know what this means?” Miles picked his jaw back up from where it’d dropped to the floor. Shifting to stand behind her, he grasped her small shoulders in his hands. “One of the members of Bantan is your soulmate .”

“This is crazy.” Eunjae breathed.

“Holy shit.” Miles paused in his movements before his eyes met hers. “Which one was it?”

“I don’t know, Miles.” Eunjae winced. The pain from the harsh bruising on her face was beginning to get to her. “Honestly, the whole thing passed by in a blur. I touched hands with all of them yesterday.”

“Well, who touched your face?”

Eyes closed in thought, Eunjae ran back through the memories of the day before. Her lips parted in sudden realization. “Oh.”

“Oh? Don’t leave me hanging here.” Miles shook her shoulders in excitement. “ Who was it ?”

“J-hope.”

“I’d hate you if I didn’t love you so much.” Miles sighed dramatically before bouncing on the balls of his feet. “This is incredible! Wow, I’m so jealous, you have no idea. You’re soulmates with J-fucking- hope .”

“How am I supposed to find him?” The words blurted from Eunjae’s mouth as panic slowly started to set in. “What if they were only here for that one night and now they’re gone? If I don’t find him again--”

“Whoa, whoa, relax.” Miles eased, hands rubbing soothing circles through the material of her borrowed shirt. “We’ll just check online to see if we can find a schedule or something. Besides, I doubt that they’d just up and leave once they see the marks on J-hope. That’d be stupid.”

Inhaling through her nose, Eunjae slowly nodded at his words of reassurance. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Exactly! I’m right.” He nodded vigorously, excited energy bouncing back. “I swear to God, you better introduce me. And if you don’t choose me to be the bridesmaid at your wedding, I might just have to disown you.”

At her lack of response, a frown pulled down the corners of his lips. “This is good news. So why do you look like that? You should be happy dancing with me.”

Shaking her head, Eunjae gripped the small bathroom counter with bruised fingers. “Do you know what this means, Miles?”

“Um, that you’ve won the soulmate lottery?”

“Miles!” She spun around, the corner of the counter digging painfully into her back. Eunjae stared up at him with panicked eyes. “We live in New York City.”

He tilted his head to the side at her words in confusion.

“They live in South Korea.”

“That’s-”

“I barely even speak Korean. They barely even speak English. They live in Seoul, South Korea.” The words poured from her mouth at a rapid fire pace, the reality of the situation starting to dawn on her.

Eunjae had spent practically her whole life in New York City. After the death of her parents at age twelve, she’d been sent to live with the only remaining blood relative they’d been able to get a hold of. Eunja’s grandmother on her mother’s side had been the only one that they’d gotten to take her in.

Eunjae could feel her chest tightening as her breath strained against her lungs. Mouth parting in panic, the room beginning to spin, walls pressing down against her. “South Korea. I can’t leave my grandmother, Miles. I’m all she has left. And what about school? The semester just started and--”

“Breathe, hunny.” Miles’ hands gripped the tops of her arms as he spoke calmly, guiding her face to his chest. “Count with me. One. Two. Three. Breathe in.”

Eyes closed against the dark spots entering her vision, Eunjae concentrated on the calming words murmured into the shell of her ear. Hands shaking, she ignored the pain in her bruised fingers and clutched at the oversized shirt of her best friend in an attempt to ground herself.

“There you go. In, one, two, three. Out, one, two, three. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“No it won’t.” Eunjae’s small, shaking voice strained past her lips. “Do you really think they’d let one of their members relocate to the states by himself?”

The cotton shirt pressed against her face dampened from her panicked tears and a sob caught in her throat. “Everything I have is here. I don’t want to leave.”

Miles’ arms wrapped around her shaking frame and, for once, he had nothing to say. All he could do was hold her steady in the growing light of his small, cold bathroom.

#bts #bts soulmate au #bts fic #hoseok #namjoon #seokjin #taehyung #yoongi #jungkook #jimin

[animeniacss]

A Palette of Emotions - Artist!Taehyung x Teacher!Reader - Chapter 9 - Startist

Synopsis: Taehyung dreams of being a professional and famous artist one day, but finds that the sea of creativity can be lurking with blood hungry sharks, as well as bland, motionless starfish. Swimming through the sea of opportunities somehow washed him up onto the shore of Bright Star Preschool, as an art teacher. This wasn’t where he expected to be 4 years into his career, but anything to get his big break though, right?

Feat. BTS, TXT, ITZY, Jisoo (BlackPink), Taeyong (NCT)

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Drama, School Setting, Working!AU

Length: approx. 5.8k words

Chapter 9 - Startist 

           “How did this day arrive so fast?”

            “Tae-.”

            “Didn’t I just start work the other day? How is it already the end of the month?!”

            “Tae-.”

            “I don’t even think I’m ready. Jimin, tell me we can reschedule.”

            “Yeah sure, let’s reschedule a planned art festival.” Jimin huffed. Taehyung continued to pace around his apartment, Jimin watching from the couch as he sipped a soda, his arm draped over the couch. They had just picked a collection of tangible paintings to bring with them tomorrow and had taken pictures of others that wouldn’t fit in their limited space. The pictures were stacked by the door so that Taehyung was sure he wouldn’t forget them. However, even though that was done and he could relax, Taehyung continued to move his feet. It was as if the term ‘relax’ was no longer in his dictionary. “Okay, you’re making me tired watching your pace,” Jimin said as he pulled Taehyung down beside him on the couch. Taehyung’s neck left his head to roll back on the couch and he groaned. “The festival isn’t until tomorrow.”

            “I know but I can’t believe it arrived so fast.”

            “Well, you’ve been busy preparing and working. Time flies when you’re having fun, isn’t that the saying?” Jimin grinned. Taehyung pouted, looking at his friend. “Don’t worry! It’ll be fine. Besides, you went to Oh Min-Jae’s art show and that was ten times more intimidating, wasn’t it?”

            “…Guess so.” He said softly.

            “Besides, as much as I live to carry the weight of your career on my back, you’ll have more support tomorrow than you did then. Your coworkers are coming.” Taehyung nodded. “Plus, I told my boss and he said he was going to bring his son Kai, so you have him in your corner too!” Taehyung raised an eyebrow.

            “That clumsy businessman?” Taehyung asked curiously. “Oh great, just as I need, someone punching a hole in my paintings.” Jimin laughed a bit. “But fine, fine, whatever.”

            “You should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” Taehyung snorted.

            “Sleep.” Taehyung huffed, standing up from the couch, Jimin following behind. “That’s a funny one.” Jimin smiled, leading his friend to the bathroom so that they could get ready for bed. Jimin planned to spend the night, not only to assure that they had enough time to get everything to Ilsan but also to make sure that Taehyung woke up on time and didn’t sleep through the entire event. It had happened before, and Jimin swore it would never happen again if his life depended on it. Jimin watched as Taehyung wiped his face and hand quickly through his hair, leaning against the doorframe. “I hope tomorrow goes well.”

            “It will. I did a sacred dance of luck during my break at work, so expect to completely sell out of your paintings within the first hour.” Jimin said, making Taehyung snicker.

            “If I can just sell one or two, that’ll be great,” Taehyung said as he walked past his friend. Jimin watched as Taehyung headed towards the couch. “Well, goodnight.” Jimin raised an eyebrow.

            “Don’t tell me you plan to stay up,” Jimin said, walking towards him. Taehyung grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and shook his head.

            “No.” He said. Jimin blinked. “Jimin, as much as I love you, we haven’t shared a bed since we were kids. What if rumors start flying that I’m involved with my manager?” Jimin grinned a bit, shoving Taehyung off the couch, and laughing when he heard the thud hit the floor.

            “Go sleep in your bed, dumbass.” He said. Taehyung stood up, and Jimin grabbed the blanket, sitting on the couch as Taehyung went towards his room, the duo saying goodnight to one another for the final time before the apartment went dark. Taehyung crawled into bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He hadn’t felt his anxiety since he had his job interview. Normally, art shows excited him, but after his absolute humiliation at the last art show, where his entire career was just obliterated in front of his eyes, Taehyung no longer knew what to expect. He wanted it to go well, but he was nervous. Would people continue to see his artwork as unprofessional, or ridiculous? Would people be interested? Would he finally have to admit defeat and give up on his dreams?

            “I shouldn’t think like that,” Taehyung whispered to himself as he tugged his blanket over his face. “I’m going to sell out tomorrow.” As Taehyung continued to manifest positive energy, he somehow managed to send himself to sleep, dreaming about tomorrow.

---------------------------------------------------

            Taehyung and Jimin managed to arrive at the art festival with enough time to spare, more than enough even. Their spot was placed towards the back of the venue, and it wasn’t as big as the boys thought it would be, but that was okay! Music was blasting from speakers raised above the vendor stalls, people were selling food and drinks for famished visitors, and the air was filled with jovial artists ready to share their crafts with the world. The atmosphere alone made Taehyung’s heart pump with excitement, much like it did every time he took his first steps into an art show. Jimin and Taehyung hung up canvas’s wherever they could, hoisted others in front of and on top of the stall, and also made sure to put all of Taehyung’s contact information in an easy to read place. Once they were done, Jimin set his Bluetooth speaker up and began to play some music, a tactic they usually did to attract people when they were out in public, and the duo sat back. Taehyung looked around, watching as other people in their area began setting up their areas with their creations as well. Paintings, sculptures, mosaic works, even people who had weaved baskets into beautiful and intricate designs. There were so many amazing talents that attended the Ilsan Art Festival every year:

            Now Taehyung was one of them!

            “Jimin,” Taehyung said, making his friend look over. Taehyung had pulled out his phone, snapping pictures of the stall and all of the pictures inside. When the picture was pointed towards him, Jimin lifted his fingers into a peace sign and smiled. “Maybe if I make a post, more people will come,” Taehyung said. Jimin got up, walking towards Taehyung, and taking his phone.

            “Well then we need the startist himself in the picture, don’t we?” Jimin asked. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at the unknown word, and Jimin grinned. “Star and artist, I just made it up. Startist!” Taehyung laughed a bit as Jimin motioned him towards his stall, lifting his phone. “Ready? One, two, three-.”

            The duo continued to snap pictures for a few moments until the sound of voices began to be heard in the distance. The boys looked over and knew it was time. The festival had opened to the public, and people were starting to head in and look around. Taehyung took his phone back and hummed, smiling as he sat down in his chair. There was some time before people started to reach his stall, so he pulled up his photos and began checking for good ones to post on his Instagram. He selected photos of himself, the artwork, and the one of Jimin sitting with the peace sign up, and uploaded them. His finger tapped the screen idly for a few minutes, unsure of what to put as a caption. As he thought, he saw Jimin get up and walk across the path, to another young adult who was setting up his art and began complimenting his work. Taehyung watched as the duo converse, Jimin finding a balance between promoting Taehyung and complimenting the other boy. Taehyung looked down and chuckled to himself as he typed “Jimin called me a ‘startist’ today.” After adding a few emojis and tagging the festival, he set his phone down and rose from his seat.

            A good two hours had passed, but Taehyung could have been told it was 15 minutes and believed it. He had been talking not only to people passing by but other nearby artists in hope of sharing contact information. The more people he became friends with, the more people could help him promote his work, and vice versa. This kept him incredibly busy, and when he finally collapsed into his chair, he let out a shaky breath. Jimin passed him a water bottle from their mini cooler, and Taehyung opened it, practically emptying it of the contents in seconds. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was.

            “You’ve gotten a lot of people to come and see your work,” Jimin said. “That’s pretty good.” Taehyung nodded, smiling. “Guess my sacred dance of luck didn’t work though, you only sold one of the smaller works so far.” Taehyung shrugged.

            “That’s okay,” Taehyung said. He quickly scanned the area. “Honestly, I’m just waiting for one thing right now.” He said. Jimin nodded, leaning back in his seat. “I wonder when they’ll be here. I texted Hoseok-Hyung, but I haven’t heard anything yet.”

            “I’m sure they’ll be here,” Jimin assured. Taehyung nodded, taking another sip of his drink and closing his eyes. Now would be an okay time to rest, it seemed. He had been working hard and was already exhausted. Each time he had an event in the heat all day, he wondered how on earth he was always able to do it. Just as he was getting comfortable, he heard a high-pitched voice.

            “What on earth is a ‘startist’?” Taehyung looked over and grinned from ear to ear. Approaching at a quick pace was Hoseok, a familiar heart-shaped smile on his face. He, along with Seokjin and Yoongi, wore jeans and various tee-shirt designs. Hoseok approached Taehyung, the duo locking hands before giving a quick hug. “Sorry, we’re so late. Seokjin-Hyung took forever to get ready.” Taehyung had never heard President Kim be addressed as ‘Hyung’ before, and it stunned him for a moment. That is until Seokjin spoke.

            “Well, when the day comes that you learn how much time and effort it takes to be this beautiful, you’ll come to understand me, Hoseok,” Seokjin said, running a hand through his hair. Yoongi, who stood his hands in his pockets, rolled his eyes.

            “So, what do we have here, Picasso?” Taehyung looked over, walking towards his friend.

            “Well, all of the physical copies are some of my more recent stuff.” He then motioned the curious eyes towards the various photos pinned up on a makeshift clothesline on the front of the stall. “These are older ones that I like to show off whenever I go somewhere.” Yoongi nodded.

            “And yet all I get to see is handprint rainbows and using clay,” Yoongi said simply. Taehyung chuckled a bit, before looking around. His eyes fell on Hoseok.

            “Uhm, where’s-?”

            “Oh. She stopped to get herself something to drink and get a map.” Hoseok said. He leaned back, staring down the path they arrived from. “She should be here soon. Oh, there she is now! Right on time~.” Hoseok called out to you as Taehyung looked over to find you himself. The minute he saw you look up, his eyes widened. No longer was he staring at a pencil skirt and nice blouse hidden behind an apron full of school supplies, with a slicked-back ponytail or bun. Today he was staring at a set of space buns on top of the head, tied together with hanging yellow ribbon. He saw a white button-up blouse tucked into a light-yellow floral skirt. Your accessories all supported the yellow theme, from the complementary beige handbag to the matching pair of beige flats, to the yellow and orange necklace that dangled around your neck. This was a look that Taehyung had yet to see you in, and he had to admit, he had to do a double-take to make sure it was you. “Come here. Look at all of Taehyung’s awesome stuff.”

            “I’ve seen most of it on Instagram, you know.” You said, walking over. You saw Taehyung staring at you, and put a hand on your hip. “Hi.” Taehyung immediately shook his head and offered a smile.

            “Oh, uh hey.” He said. He immediately, took your hand, leading you past your coworkers. Hoseok blinked, turning to look at you pass by. “I wanted you to meet someone.” Jimin looked over from his phone when he saw Taehyung leading you in his direction. “This is my best friend, Jimin. He’s my manager.” You watched the handsome man stand up from his seat and turn to you, smiling as he stuck a hand out.

            “It’s so nice to finally meet you.” He said, taking your hands. “Taehyung has told me so much about you.” You chuckled a bit, your mind only beginning to imagine what Taehyung had shared about work. You nodded and introduced yourself to him as well, before Hoseok hopped behind you and pulled your hands back, replacing them with his own to say hello. You watched as the duo began to talk to one another, before turning to Taehyung, who had his hands in his pockets.

            “Have you had any luck?” you asked curiously. Taehyung shrugged.

            “I sold one thing and a few girls came to ask for my Instagram handle, so…maybe?” You couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “I’m hoping to sell a few more things before the day is over.” You watched as your coworkers stepped back, also taking a moment to introduce themselves to Jimin, and examined the paintings on display. A few you recognized from Taehyung’s Instagram and were amazed to see them in person at this moment.

            “I think you’ll be okay.” You assured, looking at him. Taehyung chuckled a bit, watching as you walked closer to the paintings just as a young couple passed by who also stopped and stared. Taehyung quickly hurried over, introducing himself to the young couple and beginning a conversation. You turned and watched him for a moment as he motioned to some of his artwork, sharing conversations and the occasional laugh as they shared some idle chit chat.

            The day was progressing at an enjoyable pace. Taehyung took a moment to step away from his stall, Jimin offering to watch over things so Taehyung could take a well-deserved break with his coworkers. The group of 5 perused the rest of the art show, admiring all of the different vendors scattered around the enormous plot of land being used for the festival. You watched as Hoseok dragged Taehyung by the hand to a stall selling masks.

            “Look at how amazing these are. Mister, can we try some of them on?” Hoseok asked the man curiously. The man nodded, watching as Hoseok grabbed a few. Hoseok’s was red with a silly mustache, and Taehyung’s was white with wide, blue eyes and a tiny mouth. They were silly, and most likely for young children, not necessarily two grown men, but they didn’t care. “Taehyungie, try this one on.” Taehyung took it and put it over his face, while Hoseok did the same, the duo turning to face each other, the duo began laughing. “You look ridiculous!”

            “Says the one with the stupid mustache.” Taehyung laughed, pulling his mask off of his face. You crossed your arms, shaking your head in amusement at the two dorky children before you. Hoseok turned to you, grinning. “You need to take our picture!” He handed you his cellphone and pulled Taehyung close. You glanced at Yoongi, who was just standing with his hands in his pockets as he watched the hyperactive duo fool around, an amused smile on his face. Lifting the phone, you snapped a few pictures of the duo. Just before you put it away, however, Seokjin made sure to stick his head into the frame as well.

            “Don’t forget me! How can you forget Worldwide Handsome? I’ll never understand.” The boys began to laugh.

            “Get a mask then, Hyung,” Hoseok said.

            “What do you mean? He already has one.” Yoongi pointed out, motioning to Seokjin’s face. Seokjin let out a forced laugh at Yoongi’s playful insult, while Taehyung and Hoseok doubled over in stitches. You scanned the area, seeing that people passing by were staring at the scene before them.

            “Guys, am I taking the picture or not?” you asked curiously, holding the phone to their view. The three boys looked in your direction, before finally getting themselves into a picture-ready position. “Okay, ready?” You held up the camera, snapping a few more pictures of the trio. Once that was done, the boys returned the masks, thanked the man, and returned Hoseok’s phone to him. “You three are so childish.”

            “That’s why you hang out with us, isn’t it?” Hoseok asked, scanning through the pictures on his phone. He began to laugh, his face lighting up in absolute delight. “Hyung, you look ridiculous, oh man…” He said. Seokjin peered over Hoseok’s shoulder to see the one picture that was taken when Seokjin was mid-blink. “I’ll send these to you guys.” Taehyung nodded, sticking his hands into his pockets.

            “I need to get back to my stall. Jimin said he wanted to take a look around too.” He mentioned.

            “I’ll walk back with you.” You said, fixing one of the buns in your hair that was beginning to loosen up. “I saw a few vendors that way that I wanted to get a good look at.” Taehyung nodded. “Are you guys joining us?” You asked the other boys.

            “I’m going to get something to eat, I’m starving,” Hoseok said. Seokjin and Yoongi agreed, and the group of you parted ways down the dirt path. You and Taehyung walked silently down the path, passing by people who were looking at different art vendors. You scanned around, before glancing back at Taehyung, who was fixing his hair.

            “Have you ever considered doing stuff other than paintings?” You asked curiously. Taehyung looked over at you, and you motioned to a middle-aged woman selling what looked to be ceramic bowls she had created by hand. Taehyung shrugged.

            “I do a bit of pottery and stuff, but I’m mostly into painting.” He said simply. “None of my pottery looks good enough to sell though.” You smiled.

            “That’s probably untrue.” You said. Taehyung chuckled.

            “Well, unless people want to buy something that fell on the floor before I got to harden it in the oven, then yes, it is true.” Both of you laughed a bit. “But there’s something about using paint that’s always been calming for me, so I use it the most.” You nodded, being able to understand that, even just a bit. “I think you’d feel the same way if you stopped being so worried about things going wrong.”

            “I never said I was.” You said simply. The two of you approached Taehyung’s stall, your conversation stopped when the tiny voice ripped through the nearby vicinity.

            “TEACHER!?” You looked over to see Kai, wearing shorts and his favorite dinosaur shirt, charging towards you as fast as his little legs would carry him. Kneeling, you opened your arms and caught him quickly, scooping him up. “Hi!”

            “Well hello, Kai.” You said happily. “Are you here with your Daddy?” Kai nodded.

            “And Kook too,” Kai said, pointing to them. “Look.” Taehyung looked over to see Namjoon standing by his stall, staring in their direction as they yell from his son alerted his attention. Jimin was standing there as well, but there was one boy, most likely this kid named ‘Kook’, standing there that he had never seen before. Taehyung watched Namjoon run a hand through his hair and fix his glasses quickly as you both approached.

            “Kai. Don’t scream in public.” He said sternly. Kai pouted, nuzzling himself into your shoulder. Namjoon looked at you. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

            “I was invited to see Taehyung’s work.” You said simply. “And to be fair, you didn’t say anything on the phone about coming, either.”

            “Well, once Jimin told me he used his precious hours on the clock to promote his friend-.” Namjoon glanced at Jimin, who only offered an innocent smile. “I figured I would come and look too. Besides, Kai likes art.” You smiled, looking down at Kai who was now looking around at all the nearby vendors. Namjoon finally coughed in a balled-up fist. “Uhm, you look nice today.”

            “Oh, thank you.” You smiled happily. Taehyung rolled his eyes, walking past the two of you and towards Jimin, who was standing with the other younger boy. They looked over, and Taehyung could see the boy’s eyes light up.

            “You’re Kim Taehyung?” he asked curiously. Taehyung nodded. “Oh wow, so cool.” The boy looked back at the paintings sitting on the stall and grinned. “I’m Jeon Jungkook, I babysit Kai when Mr. Kim is busy.” Taehyung nodded as he listened to Jungkook continue to talk. “I found you on Instagram about like 6 months ago, you’re crazy talented.”  

            “Oh wow, thanks,” Taehyung said, feeling his cheeks turn a bit pink. “Glad you like my stuff, Jungkook.” Jungkook grinned.

            “Such a small world that you teach in Kai’s preschool, isn’t it?” Jungkook asked. Taehyung nodded in agreement, before turning to his friend.

            “Jimin, you can go walk around, I got the stall from here.” Jimin chuckled.

            “Alright, have fun. Call me if you need anything.” Jimin grabbed his wallet, stuffing it in his bag. Waving off Namjoon, he headed down one of the paths leading farther into the festival. Taehyung turned back to Jungkook, who was admiring his paintings.

            “I told Mr. Kim when I found out you were going to be here, so he let me come along. I wish I could paint like you.” Taehyung chuckled a bit. “How do you do it?”

            “Takes practice, I guess,” Taehyung admitted. “I’ve been painting since I was a kid, after all.” Jungkook nodded. Taehyung glanced over his shoulder to see that you had set Kai down, even though he was reluctant to be out of your arms. However, after Namjoon sent him away, he hurried over and latched onto Jungkook’s leg, grinning widely. Taehyung rested his elbows in front of him to lean against the stall and watched as the two of you spoke.

            “Hey, so Uhm, I wanted to apologize for Seokjin-Hyung’s comment about that date a while back,” Namjoon said to you. “You know how he can be a bit over eccentric. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

            “Is that the reason you didn’t mention a date these past few weeks?” you asked curiously. Namjoon nodded. “I appreciate that, but I’m so used to his antics that they don’t even phase me anymore.” Namjoon nodded. “Also, I know he won’t leave me alone until I finally make good on his word and allow you to take me out to dinner.” Namjoon chuckled a bit.

            “I won’t push you if you don’t want to go out with me.” He said.

            “It’s not that I don’t, it’s just…well, your son is my student and-.” Namjoon nodded.

            “I understand.” He said. “I just really like spending time with you. And knowing that Kai has a real love for you in school makes that even better. That’s why I’m always so adamant to go out with you.” You blushed a bit, smiling. You didn’t see it, but Taehyung rolled his eyes from where he was standing.

            “Well, I guess one more dinner wouldn’t kill anyone.” You said. “I just need to see when I’m free.” You saw Namjoon’s little almond-shaped dragon eyes sparkle slightly in excitement.

            “Absolutely. Whenever you’re free, I’ll make time.” He assured quickly. You nodded a bit, turning back to Kai and Jungkook, who you saw had moved across the path to admire a huge sculpture. Kai’s eyes were wide as he stared at it.

            “Daddy, daddy! Look!” He said. Namjoon walked over to his son, kneeling to his level and scooping him up and over his shoulders. “It’s so big.” As the father and son continued to admire the artwork, you approached Taehyung, who was still resting against the stall. He glanced at you.

            “I see you have a date now.” He said. You raised an eyebrow.

            “Why do you care?” you asked curiously.

            “I don’t,” Taehyung assured. You watched Taehyung purse his lips together, in a moment of thought. “…He’s not being forceful or anything, is he? You always seem like you don’t want to go out with him.” You frowned a bit, glaring at him. “What?”

            “If I didn’t want to go out with him, I wouldn’t.” You said simply. “Don’t involve yourself where you shouldn’t.” Taehyung shrugged, deciding to end the conversation there. As both of you stood there, watching Namjoon and Jungkook continue to occupy Kai, you glanced at Taehyung. He was watching them as well, silent after your comment. A slight awkward air covered Taehyung’s vendor stall, and you knew that you were not the only one who could sense it. A soft sigh escaped your lips, and you looked at Taehyung.

            “Uhm…hey.” You began. Taehyung glanced in your direction. The close distance between the two of you meant that for the first time, you could get a really good look at his face. He had dark eyes, and an almost mysterious aura around him when he wasn’t smiling. That matched with his fluffy hair was…well, you could always understand why he was so popular with girls on social media. You found yourself taking a step back, widening the space between you. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry for my behavior at work.”

            “…You did that already.” He said simply. You shook your head.

            “I said it to shut Seokjin up. But I’ve been thinking about it these past few weeks and I am sorry. I have my stuff to deal with and I shouldn’t take that out on you.” Taehyung chuckled a bit, watching as you fumbled with one of your fingernails. “Besides, the kids like you, so even if I didn’t really like you, it would be selfish of me to act this way.” You glanced back at his paintings and sighed. Just as you finished scanning them, you noticed a little hint of blue and yellow on a canvas in the back You leaned forward. “What’s that?” Taehyung looked over, lifting the canvas with the dolphin on it. As he lifted it, he saw your eyes sparkle a bit.

“It’s a dolphin,” Taehyung said. You nodded.

“I knew it.” You pointed out. Taehyung raised an eyebrow. “I saw that painting at some fancy art festival about a month ago.” Taehyung’s eyes widened. Immediately his mind went back to a beautiful woman he had bumped into upon exiting, and the tall, dark, and handsome man standing beside her asking if she was alright.

As Jungkook said, it truly was a small world.

 “I couldn’t recognize where I saw it from. I tried to look for any artist information but it was all taken down by then and they said the artist had left.”

He left my paintings up the entire time but he took down all my handles? What a scumbag. Taehyung thought to himself, though he had to make sure he kept his now boiling anger at bay as to not cause a scene. “…Oh. Yeah, this is mine.”

“That makes sense. That’s probably why Namjoon recognized you too.” You clapped your hands. “I can’t believe I didn’t put 2 and 2 together.” You laughed a bit. “I kept staring at the painting all night, I thought it was so cute.”

“Thank you,” Taehyung said, his mind currently spinning.

“I wanted to buy it, but I couldn’t afford it. You’re an incredible artist.” Taehyung blinked. “I know I’ve been giving you a really hard time about everything, but I do admire your talents, that’s why I follow you in the first place. So, just in case I haven’t told you that yet, it’s true.”

            “…Thank you.” He said softly. “That means a lot to me. I hope we can work together and get along in the future.” He said. You nodded. “You can start by that deep bow I’m waiting for.” He grinned his boxy grin, and you couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh, covering your mouth to stifle it. Taehyung chuckled as well.

            Almost immediately, Namjoon turned around to see what had caused you to laugh so loud. When he saw you talking to Taehyung, he pursed his lips, before walking over towards the both of you. Taehyung saw him from the corner of his eye and glanced up. As Namjoon approached, Taehyung stood straight, his hands in his pockets.

            “Can I help you?” Taehyung asked.

            “Nothing. I just wanted to see what she was raving about.” Namjoon glanced down at the picture of the dolphin. “Aaaah, that’s right, you did find that picture nice, didn’t you?” You nodded. “Want me to buy it for you?” Taehyung watched as Namjoon pulled out his wallet. “Maybe you can put it in your living room or something.”

            “What? Oh, you don’t have to do that.” You gasped. “Please, I don’t have any room for it, I just think it’s nice.”

            “Well if you think it’s nice, you should have it.” Taehyung watched as Namjoon pulled out his checkbook. “How much for it?” Taehyung glanced down at the painting and then back up to Namjoon. When he did, he could’ve sworn he saw a smug look behind those sharp eyes. Taehyung frowned.

            “I don’t know if I want to sell it anymore.” He admitted. You blinked, glancing at Namjoon as he set down the checkbook.

            “Name your price. I can afford it.”

            “I said I don’t know.”

            “Why? Didn’t you come here to sell your artwork?” Namjoon asked curiously. “It’s lovely to work, it should be shared with the world.” Taehyung glared at Namjoon, who was only offering a smile.

            “I don’t want to sell it to you if I’m being honest.” Namjoon pursed his lips, closing his checkbook.

            “…Did I do something wrong?” he asked.

            “No, I just don’t want to sell it to you. You’re buying it to make her like you more, not because you want it. How about you just leave her alone?”

            “Taehyung, stop-.” You gasped. Namjoon chuckled a bit.  

            “I’m buying it for her.”

            “My point still stands,” Taehyung said.

            “Hey, guys, come on now.” You began, trying to end this tension sooner rather than later. “It’s not that big of a deal, Namjoon. He can sell it to whoever he wants. I just think it’s cute.” Despite your words, Namjoon and Taehyung were staring at each other with enough fire in their eyes to burn down the entire festival if let loose. You sighed. “Okay, I’m not gonna stand around and watch this.” You said, walking away. Namjoon watched you head towards Jungkook and Kai, who were standing nearby, yet out of earshot. With you gone, Namjoon looked back at Taehyung, who had set the picture down.

            “Do you have a crush on her or something?” Namjoon asked curiously. Taehyung blinked, glancing back towards you for a second. You had scooped Kai up, glancing around at all of the art and creations as Kai pointed out things that he liked. Despite how nervous you had just been when leaving the conversation, having Kai in your arms made your eyes light up with glee.

            “Why would you care? Do you?” Taehyung asked.

            “…Is it that obvious?” Namjoon asked, his cheeks turning pink as he chuckled nervously. Taehyung once again had to roll his eyes. “I’m just asking so I know if how hard I need to fight for her.” Taehyung frowned.

            “You make her sound like a prize.”

            “That’s not my intention,” Namjoon assured. “I just care about her a lot, that’s all. And I like to see her happy.” Taehyung nodded.

            “I like it when she’s happy too. She’s nice when she’s not giving me a hard time.”

            “Then sell me the painting so she can have it and be happy.”

            “No.”

            “You’re very prideful.”

            “And you seem to think having a lot of money is the key to winning her over. She doesn’t seem like that kind of girl.” Namjoon sighed.

            “Okay, fine. Don’t sell it to me.” He said. Namjoon put his checkbook away, instead of pulling out his business card and tossing it onto the table. Taehyung picked it up. “If you change your mind, I would love a chance to look at your work again. You’re very talented.”

            “Thanks,” Taehyung said, lifting the business card. Namjoon turned on his heel and headed back over towards you, Kai, and Jungkook. He scooped Kai into his arms, though the boy was reluctant to leave you. Taehyung glanced down at his painting, resting against the back of the stall and out of view. As he did, regret started to wash over him.

            I shouldn’t have let my pride get the better of me, I could’ve sold this for a lot of money. He thought to himself. …No way. I don’t want to be a part of his money scheme to get her to like him. I’ll sell it to someone who will appreciate it, that’s the end of it! Taehyung sat back in his seat, running his hand through his hair and letting out a little groan. His mind also began racing it Namjoon’s question.

            Do you have a crush on her or something?

            No, I don’t have a crush on her. She spent the past month giving me such a hard time, why would I have a crush on her? Taehyung thought to himself. However, just as he was thinking that his mind was flashing back to images of you since he had met you. Images of your smiling face, your laugh, the glow that emanated from your eyes, and lit up the entire room every time you were with those students. Every time, even when he felt like he wanted to scream at you for how you treated him, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell just at the sight of your stunning grin.

            As Taehyung’s mind continued to plague him, he heard Namjoon, Jungkook, and Kai walk away from the stall. He leaned his head back in his seat and took a nice long sip of water from the cooler of beverages that Jimin insisted that they bring. It sent a nice, cool wave throughout his body and helped quench his thirst. However, just as he was preparing to stand back up and get to work, he heard a deep, older voice that made his entire body heat up immediately, and his heart begins to pound deep within his chest.

            “My, my. Never thought I would see you again, Mr. Kim Taehyung.” 

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#bts #bts fanfiction #reader insert #kim namjoon #namjoon #rm #kim seokjin #seokjin #jin #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope #hobi #park jimin #jimin #kim taehyung #v #jeon jungkook #taehyung #jungkook #taehyung x reader #A Palette of Emotions FF

[writersrealmbts]

Pack Trials: Jimin

Description:  As the trials continue, you find lots of trouble. How will things turn out for you?

Warnings: Mentions of death

There are other groups in this, but this is a BTS part of the fic.

Introduction Here!

Posted: 12/06/2019

Tags: Hybrid AU, Hybrid!BTS, Hybrid!Reader, Readers Choice, Hybrid!Got7, Hybrid Everybody and their Mother, ReaderxJimin

Angsty/Fluffy/SFW:  6,446 words

A/N: Let’s go!

You looked out over the remaining candidates and sighed inwardly. You nodded to JY and he announced the next trial would begin the next morning, and that it was an archery. Then he announced that starting tomorrow afternoon you would be spending the lunch and evening meals with different candidates.

You saw Jackson look at you and nod, happy you were taking his suggestion to heart.

But it was Jimin’s smirk that really caught your attention. As long as you had known him he had always had a talent for causing trouble and getting away with it by acting all innocent and angelic. He was constantly playing little pranks on you when you were pups.

You closed your eyes, knowing what was coming. You’d seen that smirk dozens of times.

Moments later, firecrackers went off as the first of the suitors prepared for the archery test.

There were misfires, jerking bows, shouts of surprise, and of course, the crowd screeching and ducking out of the way of stray arrows.

Your gaze locked onto Jimin.

He was laughing, amused, and then his gaze caught on yours. His smile slowly faded to a solemn look as he saw how upset you were.

He mouthed something, but you looked away before you could really register the words.

You closed your eyes as they figured out that it was Jimin who had caused the disruption.

JY sighed. “You’re on your own for this one.”

“I know.”

The other pack leaders, elders, other people who thought they held power, all came dragging him over to you.

The other suitors quickly followed after, some worried and others angry.

“He should be eliminated for sabotage!”

“Remove him from the trials.”

You closed your eyes against the combating volumes of the men that surrounded you like vultures.

“He obviously isn’t taking the trials seriously, my lady!”

“He should be sent away!”

“It’s just a joke to him!”

You stood up, stepping forward as they parted before you with the suitors help, walking until you were standing in front of Jimin.

He looked slightly worried, but you could only spot it from years of familiarity, those precious years in your childhood. His eyes looked slightly clouded, like he knew he had gone too far.

He bowed hesitantly. “My lady.”

You turned away. “Follow me. We shall speak privately.”

Namjoon stepped forward, but you shook your head sharply.

“My Lady!” Someone protested.

“I said, privately,” You snapped, glaring the man down. “If you wish to argue with my decision, I’ll happily arm myself and meet you in the ring.”

His eyes widened, and his mouth gaped.

There was a soft snicker, and you identified it as the last elder remaining from your pack.

“She’d slice your pudgy butt to ribbons and have every right to. Don’t challenge the woman that the trials is being held for, you waive all rights to your pack defending you. It’s in trial law, section 18, paragraph 12, line 84!” He chuckled.

You watched as everyone backed away a little, separating themselves from the idiotic man.

Your packmate was getting a kick out of this, practically hooting with laughter. “The girl took down a bear three times her size with a knife, and your out of shape ass thinks that it can challenge a completely in shape warrior?” He howled with a fresh bout of laughter.

The man hastily bowed. “Apologies, my lady.”

You nodded curtly, turning sharply and just expecting Jimin to follow you.

You whipped around on him once you were in your tent and slapped him.

He flinched, looking at you with big eyes. “I…I thought it would be fun. I’m sorry. It’s just—”

“Don’t! Don’t you dare! I needed you and the boys to stay in the competition as long as possible!” You whisper-screamed, turning away as you sobbed, hands on your hips. “I’m trying to keep all of the packs together. Peaceful. I have to pick the person I’m going to spend the rest of my days with before I even manage to get through the proper period of mourning and you…just…”

“Y/n—”

“No, you don’t get to address me by name,” You snapped, glaring at him through tears.

He whimpered slightly. “I just wanted to see you smile again,” He whispered. “You haven’t smiled, really smiled, since…I don’t even know. It hurts to see you so sad. I thought if I pulled some sort of prank I could get you to smile like you used to….”

You turned away from him, recalling him saying something similar in his letter that just broke your heart even more.

“These trials are stupid! They’re hurting you! You should be somewhere safe, where you’re loved and cared for. Somewhere quiet, where you can mourn the loss of your father without the pressures of the packs. You just threatened someone. Do you really think you would do that normally?”

“I needed you to stay in the competition,” You whispered, pushing down sobs. “But I have to eliminate you. If I don’t, I risk all of the packs.”

“Just stop the trials, y/n. Stop the trials, and go where you’re already cared for. With us. With the Scouts. Please, I can’t stand seeing you so tired and sad.” His voice was shaking now.

“You are no longer a candidate in the trials, Park Jimin. Return to your pack, and watch the following trials quietly.”

“I won’t.”

“You defy me?”

“Until you stop this nonsense, yes. You’re killing yourself. It’s all any of us can do to take care of you in what little ways we can. If you eliminate me for a joke gone wrong, I will never stop defying you.”

“If I allow you to continue, you will have to pass all tests. There will be no leeway for you,” You murmured, wiping at the unending stream of tears.

“Then I’ll pass. I’ll pass as long as I am able to.”

You closed your eyes.

“I’ll pass, and I’ll win your hand, and I’ll make sure you’re never in this much pain ever again.” His voice was closer, gentler, and more determined. “Or we could run away. Right now. Run away and never look back.”

“I am watched at all times.”

“Not at night. We can go out there under the ruse of me being eliminated.”

You shook your head. “No. Go back to your pack.” You were tempted. So very tempted by his offer. But it wasn’t right.

He could hear his footsteps as he slowly shuffled back. “Y/n, look at me.”

You shook your head, turning your back to him. “Just go. Please.”

He sighed. “I guess I’ll have to win. Should I tell them I’m on probation?”

You nodded.

“Okay…try to rest.”

You didn’t respond, to busy choking back the sobs that wanted to wrack your body from the stress. You collapsed onto your bed the moment you knew he was away, muffling your crying into the pillows so that no prying ears could hear. It took you a while to work through that, and then you just lay there, feeling drained. Like everything had been siphoned out of you.

“Lady Y/n?” A voice asked at the entrance to your tent.

You bit back a curse. “What is it?”

“Um, the packs were wondering who you would be dining with tonight? And if the Archery trial would be held today?”

You swallowed and sighed. “I will return to the arena in half an hour for the trial. As for dining, I will announce it afterward.”

“Yes, my lady.” The owner of the voice retreated hastily.

You started trying to get rid of all evidence that you had been crying, and headed back to the arena.

You disregarded the hushed whispers as you entered, and didn’t spare a glance at the suitors. You sat in your seat and nodded to JY.

“The Archery Trial will resume,” He announced.

You barely managed to take notes. You knew JY would mark those who did well and those who did not, so you were focusing more on how they reacted to their results. How they reacted to other’s results. You noted those with good sportsmanship, and those who had playful sportsmanship and pretended to be upset with others.

Jimin did fairly well compared to Namjoon, who somehow got his arrow to ricochet back towards himself and the other contestants.

“Well, now we know that they’re quick on their feet,” JY commented dryly.

“We do know that,” You agreed, watching as quite a few of them laughed over the chances of that happening.

After they were all done, JY announced those who had the top ten scores.

You considered carefully before descending from the dais to the field, approaching the members of the Exoskeleton Subpack. “Will you allow me the privilege of dining with you this evening?”

They bowed.

“It would be our pleasure, my lady,” Suho, their leader, replied.

You nodded curtly and turned, walking away with your head high. But you could feel people’s gazes boring into you.

You wished you could say you enjoyed the meal, but you felt out of place the whole time.

They were kind, gentlemanly, and goofy.

But your heart hurt.

You hadn’t gotten the list from JY earlier, so you had to stop by his camp on your way back to your own, two of the Exo’s walking you there before you told them that your business would hold you there longer than they need wait for you. You made sure to thank them and tell them you enjoyed the meal even though it was a slight exaggeration.

JY looked up at you as you approached the campfire he was sitting beside with some of the boys from both the Strays and JB’s subpack. “Y/n?”

“Sorry to bother you. I wasn’t able to keep up with the scores during the trial and I was hoping I could get your tally?”

“Would you like to sit with us a while?” Jackson asked, hopping up from his seat and offering it to you.

“Thank you, no. I want to get this done, and then try to get some sleep. So much for the trials lasting four days,” You said the last to JY.

He nodded. “I hadn’t realized how many suitors there would be. We’re lucky some of the other packs didn’t show up. It would truly be a nightmare.”

Your eyes widened at the thought. “No offense to anyone, but if more of the packs had shown up I think I might have backed out of the trials and settled for some other way of finding a mate, regardless of my father’s wishes.”

“I would likely second that motion,” JY agreed, shaking his head.

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Chan asked, his tone friendly.

You took the list JY offered to you as you shook your head. “As I said. I have work to do. Dinner took longer than I expected, and I had thought we would make it through two trials today. Thank you, though. I appreciate the offer.”

“Work quickly and get lots of rest,” JB told you.

You dipped your head to them and walked out into the night. Your tent wasn’t far from theirs, but the path was surprisingly empty.

You entered your tent and almost screamed in surprise to find Taehyung sitting on the floor. You held a hand over your heart. “What the hell, Taehyung?”

“Sorry, sorry,” He murmured, making placating gestures.

“What are you doing here?”

He hemmed and hawed a bit, before wincing (because you slapped him upside his head to see if that would get his brain to work) and blurting out, “Jimin wanted me to check on you because he was worried.”

“About what? Whether he passed the trial?” You asked, annoyance flickering in your stomach.

“About you. He said you seemed exhausted and that you didn’t look like you were aware for most of the trial. Everyone was kind of shocked that you picked the Exos to eat with.”

“It was damage control, Tae. If I’d picked even the Jay pack I could have started fights.” You sat on your bed, removing your earrings. “And I have work to do.”

He was quiet, getting on his knees and catching your hands, kissing your knuckles. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come in here. Jimin was just so worried that the rest of us got worried as well. I’ll leave you to your work. Goodnight.”

You squeezed his hands. “Goodnight, Tae.”

He pressed a kiss to your head, as if reading that you just needed that little gesture to get you through the rest of the night.

You took a moment, then started looking over the notes JY had given you.

But the next morning, even with your careful decisions, it felt like everyone was glaring at you. Waiting for you to make biased decisions. Expecting you to choose.

“Just shows that a woman shouldn’t be allowed to choose for herself,” Someone hissed as you were walking by the Stem Pack on your way up to the dais.

“If you have something to say, you will come say it to us first,” Xuimin called out, glaring over the crowd as his subgroup agreed. “That way we can keep you from spewing—”

“My Lady,” Suho said a little louder, bowing to you.

You dipped your head to them as the rest bowed as well, but you could see that they knew you overheard everything. You hurried up to the dais, trying to ignore the words you’d heard.

JY greeted you, but he looked concerned. The other pack leaders were there as well. Even Namjoon.

Namjoon looked unhappy.

“Gentlemen?” You asked simply, holding yourself more confidently than you actually felt.

“We need to speed up the trials. Isn’t there a way to do two trials at once?” Stem leader growled.

Jellyfish looked slightly uncomfortable. “Surely you have an idea of who the top contenders are already. Can’t you just eliminate it to the top four or something?”

“And only putting that boy on probation?! Someone could have gotten hurt!”

“It’s just, there are crops to start and preparations for the summer…”

“Are you challenging me, and my rights to conduct the trial as I see fit?” You asked calmly.

Jellyfish quickly shook his head. “No, my lady.”

Stem was hesitant.

“I’m aware that this is taking much longer than expected. There were far more suitors than expected and I am striving to give every man competing in the trials a fair chance. I am doing my best to speed the trials along. If you’re that concerned about crops and other preparations, you may always leave. It is hardly necessary for the entirety of the packs to be present for the trials. Just the suitors. So if you wish, the main part of your pack could return to work and those who would like to could stay. Or your entire pack could leave at your behest. That is entirely dependent on your choices. Do not use me as an excuse.” Your voice was colder than you expected, staring past them because you were sick of this. You were sick of the trials. And if you looked at their faces, they might make you angry. And you didn’t sleep well enough the previous night to have the energy for anger as well as the trials. “I’ll give you half an hour to decide before I start the next trial, in the meanwhile, I must announce who was eliminated.” You turned on your heel as you heard indignant sounds from Stem leader.

You came off the dais and walked purposefully toward the gathering group of men. “I need a volunteer to read this to those of you. It’s the list of those who didn’t make it to the next round. I’m very sorry to eliminate you, I’m sure you’ll make some other woman very happy.”

Hoseok came and took it, yelling out each name and patting Yoongi’s shoulder when his name was called.

You walked away, shaking your head as you continued hearing him.

Namjoon met you halfway across, bowing slightly. “You alright?”

“Depends. What did they decide?”

“They’re not pulling out. They’re not happy either. You’ll have to be careful.”

“It’s not like they’ll try to kidnap me.”

“Are you sure about that?” He asked, then he continued on, making sure it doesn’t look like you two were actually having a meaningful conversation.

No. You weren’t. You weren’t certain of anything anymore. Just that the longer you thought about the trials, the more scared you got. The more you wanted to run away. To cry.

The next three trials for the day were relatively uneventful and you made a small dent, but as night approached, you started panicking. You had no more ideas for trials. You’d barely pulled those out of your hat. You didn’t know who to keep, who to eliminate, what the next step was, or how you were ever going to find someone that you could really love. You wanted to be loved so badly.

Your nature was starting to nudge at you, and all you could wish was that someone stronger would come and take the responsibility, take the burden. You couldn’t handle it any longer.

You were supposed to dine with JB’s subpack and the strays, but you felt like you were being crushed and you hurried to the outskirts of the camp, looking for a place to hide. At least with the Jay pack you could apologize later.

You ended up  hiding in the cabin that would be where you mated to whoever it was that won the trials. To whoever it was that you supposedly chose. An impossible decision.

You couldn’t decide.

You couldn’t think of another trial.

They were going to kill you or kidnap you and you weren’t sure which was worse.

You whipped around as something heavy thumped to the floor.

Jimin stood up and closed the window, turning toward you. His eyes widened as his nostrils flared. “Y/n.”

You stared at him, then a whine broke from your throat. “I don’t know what to do, Jimin.”

He seemed to snap out of it and walk over to you, pulling you to his chest and tightly hugging you. “It’s going to be okay.”

“No it’s not. It’s never going to be okay.”

He growled slightly, a reproach for contradicting him.

You whimpered, submitting to him. Baring your neck to him the soft flesh, the pulsing arteries. For him to either attack or enjoy. You couldn’t bear the load anymore.

He flinched away, looking at you in surprise, then quickly tilted your chin up so your neck was bared even further. “Don’t think about out there.”

“But…how can I not?” You asked, panic seeping back in. Out there was everything, your life or your death. The packs that were all you knew. The trials that would determine how you would choose. “They’re going to look for me, and I’m causing all this tension and—it’s too much! It’s too much for me, alpha!”

“Don’t think about it.”

“How?” You asked in something that was almost a sob. You needed the alpha to help you. You weren’t strong enough.

He stepped closer, cupping your face in his hands and making you lock gazes with him. “I’ll show you,” he whispered roughly, then he was kissing you, softly at first, and then more roughly as you gripped his shirt. He ducked to suck kisses on your neck, arm wrapping around your waist.

His scent filled your mouth and nostrils, that same wonderful scent you remembered from childhood.

You let him take over your thoughts, emitting little sounds as he did.

“You want me to distract you gamma? Treat you like an omega?” His whispers were so seductive, and you felt yourself shiver, once again baring your throat to him willingly.

He licked at your scent gland, then over your artery, before nipping just beside it. His hands held your body steady, and yet also caressed it so fondly that you were melting to his will.

“My poor gamma, so much pressure. I’ll take your cares away. Would you like that?”

You felt yourself nod.

“Words, gamma.”

“Yes, alpha. Please take care of me,” you whispered hoarsely. You felt all warm and the way he looked at you was an absolute pleasure. He looked at you like you were the best omega in the world, even as he addressed you as a gamma. “Sorry I’m not an omega, alpha. So sorry.”

“You’re better than any omega. You’re my good little gamma,” he told you, meeting your eyes before passionately kissing you. “So kind and thoughtful, so strong. Let alpha take care of you, baby.”

You nodded, then remembered your words. “Okay, alpha.”

He led you to the bed as he kissed your lips, nipping and licking, laying you down and resting ever so gently on top of you.

“Alpha, make me yours,” you whispered desperately. “Make me yours, alpha. Please. Don’t want anyone else. Want my Jimin. My alpha.”

He was still, studying your face before he growled possessively. “Mine.”

You gasped as his teeth sunk in, marking you as his for the rest of your life.

—————

You woke up to a gentle throbbing pain on your neck. You groaned slightly and wiggled into the warmth beside you, inhaling the best scent in the world.

“How’s your neck, gamma?” He murmured softly, hand brushing hair from your face.

You looked up at him sleepily, then frowned. Wait a minute.

Your eyes widened. “Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, we already did,” Jimin whispered, looking slightly amused. “A couple times.” He leaned forward and licked soothingly at the mating bite on your neck and you automatically relaxed even though your thoughts were racing.

You could see the red mark on his neck and it looked like you had bit him much harder than you should have. You quickly licked at it and heard his soft sound of relief.

Your cheeks felt hot. You just mated with Jimin. “H-how did you know I was a gamma?”

“I’ve known since we were young. My mom talked about you being a gamma.” He pulled you so you were relaxed in his arms, completely pliable under his touch.

“Your mom?”

He nodded. “She scolded me for bossing you around. Told me that when you were upset you weren’t just pouting. Told me to protect you.”

“Protect me?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I understand why now. People don’t realize that gammas are just as vulnerable as omegas, they’re just stronger. So much stronger. People don’t realize that they���re gammas. That they need more support than betas, and more independence than omegas. My mom said that gammas made the best mates for leaders because they understood what it meant to be weak and strong at the same time. And they’re twice as beautiful and attractive as omegas. She told me that the last time an gamma was around was your mother, and everyone had been tripping over themselves just the same as they are for you. But she had the support of all the packs. You only have a few packs to support you, and others are trying to tear you apart.” He was stroking your hair so nicely, and you felt like you could melt into him and never leave.

“Do the others know?”

“Doubt it. Most are debating between beta, alpha, and omega for you. They haven’t even considered gamma. And they never have to. But we have something more urgent to deal with.”

Anxiety gripped your stomach. “I don’t want to go back out there.”

“They’ll find us if we stay here.”

“I don’t want to stay here either,” You whispered, feeling yourself start to tremble from the panic that awaited you outside. Not only did you mate Jimin, you did it before the trials were over, and when tensions were at their peak.

But his previous suggestion came to mind.

He seemed to know what you were thinking. He nodded. “We’ll run. I can pack supplies for us and we can sneak out. They’d never expect it. We’ll get you to your tent, you can pack and pretend to be coming to start the next trial. Then we’ll run. We don’t have to go back to Scout pack, even. We can…we can go beyond pack territory. The two of us can avoid the poachers and find a safe place to settle. We can have chickens, and farm, and be happy.”

You let him turn your face to his, eyes closing as his fingers gently caressed your cheek, deluding yourself for a brief moment.

“Well?”

“You’d miss your family too much. Your pack. You’re a social creature, Park Jimin.”

“Then we’ll go into Scout territory, we can still settle down somewhere and have our own little life while still being part of the pack. No one could blame you for caving under the pressure.”

You felt a little spike of shame. You were supposed to be strong.

He held you closer, kissing your forehead as his thumb rubbed lightly on your side. “It’s okay, y/n. This was more than should ever have been expected of you so soon after the loss of your father. You were only expecting the Scouts and the Jays. It would have been so much better for you.” He murmured, pressing his face into your hair.

“I’m not a failure?”

“Never. I love you, gamma.”

You opened your eyes, seeing the sincerity in his expression. “I don’t know what to pack.”

Light sparked in his eyes. “We’re running? Really?”

You nodded. “You need to tell Namjoon, at least..”

“Okay. Let’s get you to your tent. Maybe get dressed first.” He smirked a bit, eyes flickering over your form before he leaned in for an extra long kiss. “My mate.”

Warmth flooded through you and you realized that you felt better rested than you had in a really long time. “My alpha,” You breathed, suddenly dreading parting from him. Even if it was only temporary.

But the two of you had work to do.

JB ran into you on your way to the tent, and his eyes widened. He quickly cleared his throat and looked away. “My lady, they were growing concerned. Shall I tell them that the trials will begin soon?”

You swallowed. “Yes. Please do.”

He met your gaze again and bowed, before stepping closer and whispering. “You’ll only have half an hour to get as much distance as you can. You understand this will cause fighting?”

“I can’t stay,” You whispered, tearing up.

He nodded firmly. “Go. We’ll buy you as much time as you can.”

“We?”

“Don’t worry about that. Go.” He bowed again and hurried away.

You hurried into your tent, shakily packing the most important things you could without weighing yourself down. Your mating bite burned under your scarf, reminding you that Jimin wasn’t beside you and that you both were risking your lives doing this.

Then you hurried to the stream, where he said he would meet you.

You were anxious, constantly scanning your surroundings for any form of threat.

Then you saw Jimin.

He ran up to you and quickly hugged you, moved your scarf to lick at the bite as you did the same to his. Then he took your hand and the two of you started running.

You followed him, trusting that he had a solid plan because you weren’t really able to come up with any more plans. You weren’t able to take any more responsibility.

He led you down a path toward Scout territory, always checking on you, but keeping a rapid pace until he could see you were a little short on breath. Then you would both walk until you had caught your breath, running again the moment you were able.

You could feel his concern, like a little whisper inside yourself.

He stopped, ears perked in alarm, and cursed, pulling you toward a spot where you could both hide. He crouched in front of you, protectively, knife in one hand.

And though you’d faced countless predators and beasts on your own, and fought for your pack against poachers, right now you were scared. Maybe because you didn’t have the capacity to be anything else. You were exhausted, and you shouldn’t have been.

But Jimin was a warrior and a scout.

He reached back and rubbed your leg in a soothing sort of way, but you could tell he was on high alert.

Finally the noises faded away.

He relaxed minimally. Glancing around the hiding spot, he moved a few rocks as quietly as he could, making it a little deeper and gesturing for you to go there.

You did as instructed, sitting a little more comfortably.

He started adjusting some branched, that were nearby, and the rocks, then after a while he gestured for you to stay quiet and he went off.

You fingered the knife you carried with you, listening intently, able to recognize when it was Jimin returning with more supplies to hide the two of you in the make-shift shelter.

He worked like that for a long time, still sneaking, which worried you.

You thought the two of you would get farther, but as he shimmied into the shelter he’d built up around you, you could tell that you were staying put. Especially since he brought practically a whole bush of fragrant lilac to cover your scents.

He reached through and pulled a bunch of soft leaved through, nudging you aside to create a small beddish area with the leaves and such he pulled through the bottom of the barrier. Then he got you curled up on it, curling around you. “Poachers are camped not too far from here. Too many for us to take on, but they haven’t caught our scent. They’ll probably move on in the morning. They caught some prey and are getting ready to cook it. You okay, baby?” He pulled a blanket over both of you.

“Scared. Worried. Tired. Why am I so tired?”

He hummed softly. “You were wearing yourself down to the bone, y/n. You’ve lost quite a bit of weight and muscle because of the stress and exhaustion. Here, we’ll sit up and you can eat.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine for now. You need the food or else you won’t be able to function tomorrow.”

You nodded, still curling into his arms even as the two of you sat up.

“Shhh, gamma, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” He whispered, and you realized you’d been whimpering slightly.

He rummaged through his back until he pulled out some smoked meats and gently ordered you to eat, petting your hair the whole time, and sniffing at the mating bite on your neck.

Food helped, but you felt like Jimin helped even more. Just his presence made you feel better. And a sort of tranquility washed over you as he gently and continually licked at the mating mark.

“Did I really lose that much weight?” You asked.

“All of the suitors noticed. We were worried about you. As high as tensions are between the packs, the suitors were sort of united. Most of us anyway. We knew before you announced it that Jackson had suggested it. We were all preparing to feed you at every meal if we needed to, just to try and keep you healthy. But I knew it wasn’t enough. I saw you with the Exos. They were really worried about you as you left because you hadn’t enough much. And you never smiled, not genuinely. Not like you used to.”

You couldn’t even remember a time when you felt carefree. Except maybe when you were a pup.

But nobody was as happy of a child as Jimin or Hoseok.

You could remember the summer after your mom died, Jimin poking at you and joking and getting the other guys into the antics to try and get you to smile. How big all of their eyes got when you cried instead because you were young and Jimin was picking on you and you knew you couldn’t go find your mom for solace. Seokjin and Yoongi had chewed them out, Jin hugging you and Yoongi telling them that your mom had died and you weren’t obligated to smile or be happy. Hobi cried as well, and Jungkook’s eyes had been huge, not really understanding what they were saying aside from the fact that he was in trouble. Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jimin had stared at the ground in shame.

Jin took you back to his home, since you were staying with him and his mom since Tae’s was participating in the hunt that summer, and sang to you, telling you that Jimin had meant well when he started it.

You remembered Jimin finding you the next day with one of your favorite flowers, tucking it in your hair wordlessly and sitting beside you on a dock until finally he whispered that he was sorry.

But they included you more than ever before that summer, and when you did smile, Jimin would grin back so wide that he wouldn’t be able to see and would trip, causing you to giggle as you checked to make sure he wasn’t hurt.

“Y/n?” He whispered, kissing your temple and pulling you back to the present. It was dark out.

You inhaled sharply. “Wh—”

“You okay?” He asked softly.

You blinked rapidly. “How long?”

“You zoned out for about half an hour, then fell asleep,” He answered softly. “What were you thinking about?”

“The summer after my mom died,” You whispered.

He tensed a little. “Oh?”

You nodded. “You put forget-me-nots in my hair and sat with me on the dock.”

“I was terrible to you,” He whispered. “It was summer, and I wanted you to be happy to see us, but you weren’t and I didn’t understand. Not until Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung were yelling at us. Actually, not even then, it took me until after I was home and had cried and told my mom what had happened that I understood. Because she asked me how I would feel if I hadn’t been able to tell her about how sad I was for making you cry. I was still a jerk to you though. It was like I had to relearn to be nice to you every summer. I was an idiot.”

You shrugged. “I don’t really remember. What was the worst?”

“The time before I found out you were a gamma. And what that meant. I told you you couldn’t join us on the play hunt.”

You frowned, combing through all the times you’d been told by boys that you couldn’t play hunt with them before a very vague recollection of Jimin saying it sort of resurfaced. Mostly you remembered getting hurt because you got so mad at him for ordering you around that you walked right into a different group’s play hunt and ended up getting beat up because you’d scared the one kid. It’d been your fault. You had been too little to play. Jungkook wasn’t playing either. Jimin and Taehyung were barely old enough to play.

“You were actually old enough to play, you were good enough too, too good. I was jealous of your stalking skills and I didn’t want to lose to you. So I said you couldn’t play, and when you argued with me, I ordered you instead. I growled at you. You looked sad, and were pouting when I left you. I should have at least made sure you got back to the fort. But you were upset, as you should have been. I ordered you like you were an omega. Like I had a right to order you. And you got hurt because I was stupid. Eomma chewed me out for that one. Because I challenged your independence.”

You huffed softly, a little amused. “Jimin, we were ten. And you were right. I was too little. I tried playing it that fall and I sucked because while my skills were better than everyone elses, I just couldn’t keep up because I was tiny. I was smaller than Jungkook. Besides, it was one of my own pack members that hurt me. Not you. I was just mad that I wasn’t allowed to play, especially since it was you guys.”

“It was still wrong of me.”

“Well, you’ve made it right, alpha,” You whispered, eyes drifting shut again. “We should leave the moment we’re able to.”

“I’ll wake you when we can leave,” He whispered back, gently brushing your hair from your face and gently nudging the mark on your neck.

“Does yours still hurt?” You asked, forcing your eyes open.

He hummed. Not a no, not a yes.

You licked over it, hearing him sigh softly. “Can we have ducks instead of chickens?”

He chuckled softly, sighing again as you licked at the mark once more. “Anything you wish, y/n.”

Sleep sometimes really messed up your head, because one moment you swear you’re curled up with Jimin, licking at his mark, and then next you’re waking up and sunlight is starting to filter through and Jimin is arms and looks ready to fight.

“Jimin-ah?” A voice called out softly.

Both of you relaxed and Jimin slid out. “Jungkook-ah!”

“Y/n?”

“She’s in the shelter. Y/n, it’s cold, might want your cloak. How did you find us?”

“Luck really. We followed your tracks to a certain point, then found a group of poachers and where they’d killed their prey. Figured you two had barely escaped them, and hid. Hoseok-hyung pointed out this area and they went to go chase off the poachers.”

You managed to get your cloak from your bag, and shimmy through the opening Jimin had, shivering slightly and holding the cloak closer. “The packs?”

“Jay pack managed to diffuse any fighting. But it’s probably best if you don’t go to gatherings for a while.”

“I can definitely do that,” You agreed, hugging onto Jimin for extra warmth. And just a general need to be close to him.

He looked down at you so gently, his gaze so soft. “Let’s go home, y/n.”

“I already am,” You replied, looking up at him and smiling.

He grinned back at you, eyes disappearing and you felt like the world was a better place.

And you couldn’t wait to enjoy that world with him.

--

Masterlist. ~ Masterpost. ~ Introduction.

Tagging: @ephemeral-mindset​ @young-yellkie​ @alex--awesome--22​ @bryvada​ @missmoxxiesworld @knjhe​

#packtrialsseries #hybrid!jimin #park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin park #reader x jimin #bts #bts fic #werewolf!au #hybrid!au #hybrid!bts #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jeon jungkook #Im Jaebum #hybrid!taehyung #hybrid!hoseok #hybrid!jungkook #hybrid!seokjin #hybrid!namjoon #hybrid!yoongi #werewolf!jimin #abo dynamics

[goldenmarii]

The darkest place... (FF)

“Everyone thinks I’m fine when in reality I’m not…”

TW: Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, slight Anorexia

Word Count: 10.800

~~~~ proceed with caution ~~~~

~~1.

Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook, the members of BTS are currently on tour, or rather they are performing their last concert in Seoul at the moment. Everyone is perfect at the moment, enjoying the last few minutes on stage, the adrenaline running through their veins. The last few tones are echoing trough the stadium, soon only their deep breaths are heard. The audience is cheering, it is a moment of pure bliss. Eventually, all speeches are spoken, the last bit of euphoria still in their system as they leave the stage. Back in the backstage room, the exhaustion hits them like a train. Sleep is now the only thing on their minds. They quickly go through the feedback of the tour and get dressed in their normal street clothes. 

When they finally arrive at the dorm the members take their turns in the bathroom. Starting with the oldest Jin and finishing with the youngest Jungkook. Once everyone is finished they meet in the living room. There’s much to share about the tour, things they hadn’t had the chance to really talk about during their travels and busy schedule. 

“So what do you think? Will this stay in Armys memories?” Namjoon starts the conversation. Everyone just thinks for a moment before answering. 

“I think so, everything worked out as planned and we had a good time!” Jimin starts, everyone just nods their head.

“Yes, and we had a lot of fun so I really think that that made Army have fun, too!” is added by Jungkook. Once again everyone nods. All agree that this tour was a success. Now thinking about all the joyful moments a smile spreads over their faces. 

“Have you seen how everyone cheered when we poured the water over Yoongi Hyung!” Jimin can no longer contain his laughter. Soon the members join in, all except Yoongi who sits there pouting.

“Hey, that wasn’t funny! My hair was drenched for the rest of the performance!” seeing everyone around him still smiling widely he can do nothing but laugh as well though.

“Fine, maybe it was a little bit funny…” saying that laughter can once again be heard in the dorms. 

“Oh, and when Jimin Hyung tried to make jumping hearts but ended up falling and rolling over!” pipes Taehyung now in. The laughter that just died down a bit starts over again, echoing from all walls. The living room is full of laughter and seemingly happy faces. 

“I thought it was much more fun when the rose Jin Hyung threw landed right in Namjoon Hyungs hair!” Jungkook adds another moment. Soon everyone can no longer stop giggling. The members share some more moments and bits and pieces of their overall tour experience. Bathing in the joy of the moment. Completely forgetting the time, their exhaustion and sleepiness. They being together now is all that counts. They are a family after all and share all their thoughts. 

“Can we wrap this up now? I really wanna sleep” Yoongi yawns to underline his point. After everyone is finished giggling about his sleepy attitude they head to their rooms for real. Falling into their beds exhausted and feeling fulfilled and accomplished, nothing could take away their peace at this moment. The members already look forward to the next tour and the upcoming comeback. No matter how draining the job they had was, hey wouldn’t swap what they had for anything in this world.

~~Paralized

When did I become so cold?

When did I become ashamed?

Where's the person that I know?

They must have left

They must have left

With all my faith

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know why I’m here with these six talented people. I’m the odd one out, I always was.

Now I’m just here sitting in my empty dorm room. Yes, empty. There is nothing to show that this is, in fact, my room. Everything’s just dark and gloomy like my self. My mind slowly drowning me. I look at my hands, they’re shaking. We had a performance today, I messed up. I always do. The others are just to kind to admit. I’m lacking, I wasn’t in the beginning, I am now. Or it just didn’t show because they had no experience, but now that they do, I’m falling behind. Can I ever catch up? Will I ever be good enough? 

Before my mind can go deeper, can become darker, I close my eyes. Try to sleep it all away. Even though I know this will never go away. Not as long as I’m here. A few tears run down my cheeks as my mind drifts of to a night of restless sleep.

~~2.

The next day the members awake late. Everyone’s still exhausted from the long tour and they use their week off to recharge. On their first day, they share a late breakfast and talk about what they’ll gonna do. 

“So what are doing?” asks Hoseok while mixing his cornflakes. He looks into the group with a curious look in the eyes. 

“Yoongi and I are planning to go fishing” beams Jin and claps in his hands, before throwing an imaginary fishing rod. Yoongi just hums and continues his breakfast without giving much attention. Even though he slept a solid ten hours he is still sleepy. Wanting nothing more than to head back to bed for an after-breakfast nap. 

“I’m going to visit the new art gallery that opened last month, I heard it’s very popular.” Namjoon continues with his plans, showing his dimples and radiating happiness.

“Oh, oh, can I come?” Taehyung instantly asks, he always wanted to go with Namjoon when he went for another museum or art gallery, but couldn’t find a good opportunity until now that is. 

“Sure, it’ll be fun.” another dimpled smile from Namjoon and everything is settled, they would visit the gallery together. The only ones missing for sharing their plans now would be Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok. 

“I’m going to visit my family in Busan.” Jimin missed his family, he wasn’t able to go see them since his last birthday, which is already almost a year ago. 

“I’m going to Busan as well, we can travel together Hyung.” Jungkook ads to the conversation. Jimins smile drops instantly as he looks over to Jungkook.

“Hey! Stop copying me! I said I’m going to Busan first!” the other members snickering around about their small bickering. It would always be like that. Jimin doing something and if Jungkook decided to do the same the old fight would once again arise. They never really mean it seriously though. It’s like a fight between siblings. 

“Anyway, what are you doing Hobi Hyung?” comes the question from Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook still bickering in the background. 

“Ehm I wanted to visit my family as well. It’s been a while since I was in Gwangju.” He hesitantly answers thinking Jimin and Jungkook would continue their bickering now with him, too. But no such thing happened. They all finished their food and started preparing their things for the activities planned. Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok packing small suitcases for their trip, as well as Yoongi and Jin, who would travel to the yellow sea to go fishing. So the only ones left in the dorm were Taehyung and Namjoon who were already talking about the many art pieces they could see in the gallery. Everyone was stoked that they finally had some time off. 

Jungkook and Jimin were the first to leave, they took Hoseok with them and brought him to the train station as he was going to go home by train. After that they took off towards Busan, finally coming to terms and travelling together. Why drive in two cars when they could just go together. 

The next ones were Jin and Yoongi, even though Yoongi had to almost drag Jin out of the dorm because the older wouldn’t stop pestering Taehyung and Namjoon about not destroying everything in their home. When they finally left and Namjoon and Taehyung were alone they packed their stuff for the day and went off towards the art museum. Of course not forgetting their face masks. One can only imagine what would happen if someone recognized them. 

The week went by faster than everyone wanted. But they had to go back to their work. The next comeback was only weeks away. So on their second to last day off Jungkook and Jimin made a detour to Gwangju to pick up Hoseok and then they drove back to Seoul with all three. Laughing and singing a lot during their drive home. Jin and Yoongi arrive on their last day before their normal schedule starts again. Both being positively surprised that nothing broke or burned down during their time away. 

On their last evening, they once more sat together in the living room, not talking just enjoying the time together and watching movies. One by one they say their goodnights and head to bed. The next day would be fully packed with dance practice and last-minute recording, but they look forward to it nevertheless.

~~3.

They all wake up pretty early but don’t talk much, everyone still being tired. The whole drive to the dance studio they keep quiet, all members going after their own thoughts. Yoongi even falls asleep again in the car and the others have to wake him up. All in all a pretty lazy morning so far, which will change as soon as they arrive. As if someone clicked on a switch they take on their professional persona and start their dance routine. After a few hours, they take a break. Namjoon, Jin and Taehyung stay in the studio with Hoseok to go over the steps one more time as they still don’t quite get it, while Yoongi drags Jimin and Jungkook to the recording studio. They still have to record some part in a song that was changed only recently. The time flies by and before they know it’s already past six pm, they stayed the whole day in the studio without even really noticing. But before they can go back to the dorms Taehyung and Jin also have to still do some recordings, as the parts of the complete vocal line changed. While they still record the others, namely Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook, already head home, so that they could prepare dinner. 

An hour later Yoongi, Jin and Taehyung get home as well, they couldn’t exactly finish all recordings, but since there was still tomorrow they decided to call it a night. Exhausted from the constant repetition of the new dance steps, the voices of the two just couldn’t reach the standard they’ve set for themselves. So when they arrive at the dorm they are positively surprised to see dinner already being prepared and ready to eat. They sit down together and have some basic conversations about the day and the upcoming comeback show.

“So did you finish?” asks Hoseok the three that came later. Genuinely curious about the progress they made. But when he sees Yoongis grim face he lets it got. Better not start a fight that late in the evening when it would only mean going to bed with the knowledge of an ongoing argument. But Yoongi only sighs and answers anyway.

“We couldn’t finish, they couldn’t quite reach the notes correctly after the hard work they put into the new choreography. We’ll continue tomorrow but this time, before the dance practice.” Yoongi doesn’t seem to be too happy about it but he was definitely less upset about the still unfinished song work than usual. 

The next day they continue as planned the night before. Finally finishing the last bits of the song changes. After the work in the recording studio is done they head to meet the other in the practice room. The other members are already working on the choreography, but instead of going through it from start to finish, they focused on perfecting the parts that weren’t fully right yet. Now that they were complete though they start going through the performance that would be held tomorrow at Mnet. 

They repeat everything multiple times and most of the members already perfected it, but Namjoon and Jin still have difficulties. It would always be like this. The two would always be the last ones to master a new choreography, most times even in the last practise right before the performance, they would still make some mistakes. But at the performance itself, they would always get it right. It’s as if they needed the knowledge of disappointing Army if they made mistakes to really get it right. No ones bothered by it though, even if they did make mistakes, they were only human after all and making mistakes is the most human thing to do. So when they noticed it was already six pm again and they still didn’t get everything right, no one bothered to stay any longer. They needed their sleep to properly function the next day and they were never let down by their leader and the oldest anyway. 

Before heading off to sleep though they all sit down on the sofas in the living room, talking about the plan for the next day. It’s just like always if there is a comeback. The maknae line is super hyped and can’t wait to finally perform, Jin and Namjoon try to calm them down so that they wouldn’t hurt themselves with their constant jumping around and Hoseok and Yoongi just sitting they observing what’s happening. One of them with a happy smile the other one with a tired expression. At this point, the current situation was just another routine they’ve gone through millions of times. So it was no surprise that everyone headed to bed only thirty minutes later, wishing each other a restful night as if there wasn’t just a whole circus-like performance laid down in front of them in the living room.

~~4.

To say the morning of the comeback show was hectic is an understatement. Everyone is running around collecting the last bits and pieces to take with them before they head out toward the Mnet studio. Upon arrival, they get ushered inside for their last practice, which would be the first one on the actual stage. Everything goes just as planned, Namjoon and Jin also manage to get the performance done without any mistakes. Just as always if they have to function, they do. 

After the practice, they head backstage to get the styling done. They decided for a revamped version of their Fake Love outfits with the harnesses. This seemed to fit the new album aesthetic the best. So when everything is ready for the stage they wait. Since they aren’t the only ones performing tonight they still had some time to kill, two hours to be precise. They just chatted in the back room and made jokes about everything and anything. 

“Hey, wanna hear a joke?” no matter what the other members could say now, they couldn’t stop Jin, he was already suppressing his laughter, before he even started to tell the joke. But to be fair no matter how stupid Jins jokes seemed they always enjoyed listening to them. 

“Sure”

“What did the 0 say to the 8?” you could already see his grimace from keeping in his laugh, his face looked funnier than the joke would probably be, but no one cared at this point.

“What did it say?” asked Taehyung now, being one of the only ones that wasn’t already losing it because of Jins behaviour. 

“Nice belt.” even before he finished he was already laughing his windshield wiper laugh and clinging to Namjoon. Everyone laughed as well or at least smiled, Jimin giggled so hard, he fell over and is now lying on the floor. They always had the most fun being backstage and just joking around, being completely themselves. So it came to no surprise that the remaining time went by faster than they expected. When it was finally time to enter the stage, they all had a huge smile plastered across their faces, ready to perform and dance and sing their hearts out. They always give everything for Army. 

With the first beats of the song, they start their new choreography, everything goes well until Jimin falls over his own feet. He manages to catch himself though and dance on as if nothing happened, even though everyone seemed to be a little irritated afterwards the show is a success. No further accidents and in the end they all laugh about it behind the stage. Sure Jimin beats himself up a bit, but it’s nothing that didn’t happen before. They had way worse mistakes and bloopers on stage and this was still the first time performing that particular song. 

“Why is it always me who stumbles on stage?” Jimin pouts while getting changed back into their street clothes to head to a restaurant after the show. 

“Easy, because you’re our cutesy clumsy mochi!” Taehyung smiles his boxy smile, and with that Jimin just sighs and lets it go. Nothing to change about that now. 

“Cheer up! I’m gonna tell another joke to raise the mood! What do you call an ice cream that parties too hard?” no one seems to acknowledge Jins joke so he continues “Eh? Eh? Wanna know?”

“Ugh just say it already” Yoongi exclaims finally, so that they could leave already.

“Out of CONEtrol” once again no one reacts until Jins starts his windshield wiper laugh. 

“Ok, ok since this was no good let me explain why I do puns!” Jin tries again. The silence that follows doesn’t bother him.

“Because it’s my resPUNsibility!” this time they all lose it and start laughing uncontrollable. Still laughing they head for the car so that they could leave for the restaurant. Once they’ve arrived there they quickly enter and find their table in a secluded area. For the rest of the evening, they enjoy the food and each others company. Long forgotten is the slight bumpiness of their performance. At first, they also wanted to get some drinks, but since they have another performance the next day, where they would also answer some questions concerning the new album they decide to wait until the next day off. 

It’s almost midnight when they arrive at their dorms, hunger stilled and tired from their long day. Without doing anything much other than the usual bathroom queue they head to bed, thoughts still filled with their first time performing their current albums song and already new hopes and expectations for the next show tomorrow. 

~~Start to fall

Devils come out at night.

In the form of people that I love.

They said I’m not enough.

Well, factual this has become into something so understandable,

So understandable!

Help me out!

I did it again, I ruined everything. The constant repetition of the dance routine did nothing. I made so many mistakes. How can I call myself idol if I can’t even get the choreography right? My voice as well, it wavered a lot. I really start to believe what all the comments say about me. BTS would be better off without me. Maybe I should leave. 

But knowing the others they won’t let me. They are too nice, too empathetic to accept what’s the truth. That I’m the weak link. The one dragging everyone down. I’m not even useful in any other way. All I do is weigh them down. I need to find a way out. I need to. 

Despite keeping my portions small, I’m still not good enough. I let myself go. I’m out of shape. What would the agency say if they knew how much weight I gained? I was never one of the pretty ones in this group, but I could always get the points for my body. Well, that’s the past I guess. I better go on a diet, can’t let everyone down, more than I already do. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten earlier in the restaurant. 

Standing in front of the full-body mirror in the bathroom I look at my self. This isn’t pretty! I pinch my stomach. That’s not nice to look at in any way shape or form. I go back to my room. Better train off all the useless calories I consumed today, maybe that will help. 

I start to fall back into the depth of my mind. I’m not good enough, never good enough. I’m not pretty enough, my dance skill is not on par with everyone else, my voice too weak, I can’t do anything right. Why am I still part of this? Why wasn’t I already kicked out?

~~5.

After they finally have everything ready, they head to the TV studio. They are late for the show since it was almost impossible to get Yoongi awake and Namjoon forgot his bag at the dorms. When they thought that they had everything and almost drove off they noticed that they forgot another essential. Taehyung was still at home and they were already two streets further. So after going back for the second time they were now twenty minutes late and probably wouldn’t get a chance to practice the choreography one last time before the show started. 

Just as predicted they arrive and are instantly ushered to change their clothes and get their make up done. The show already started and they’re lucky that they wouldn’t have to enter the stage right from the beginning. With only a few minutes to spare they head towards the stage entry and wait for their signal. 

After getting the ok they head up on stage and are greeted with many cheers and even some army bombs in the audience, even though this was a talk show, so not really a huge performance as on concerts or the Mnet Comeback Countdown. Nevertheless, they wave towards the audience and are grateful that they didn’t spoil anything for them by being late. Sitting down on the comfy sofa the host already starts to bombard them with questions.

“So you just showed the world one of your new songs yesterday, how do you feel about the album?” starting with an easy question Namjoon answers it without a second thought. They had talked about it many times during production. 

“We wanted to create something new, while still keeping many aspects of our previous albums. So you see we have our favourite elements of all the albums released up till now.”

“We have outfits like Fake Love and Blood Sweat and Tears” Jimin beams.

“Yes, yes, I can see. Coming to the songs specific now: What is everyone’s favourite from the new album?” the host continues. They all take their turn answering. After that, there are a few more questions before it’s time for them to perform. 

“So I heard your gonna perform for us today!” he cheers and waits for them to confirm and get ready to show their choreography and the new song. If possible the members are even more nervous than the day before as they couldn’t practise before the show. The stage is new to them and truth be told they managed to mess it up on a stage that they were familiar with. When the first beats can be heard all tension and worries are washed away though. They dance like they never danced before, feeling every sound and filling every syllable with all they got. 

When the music stops, they stand still for a second or two, everything drowns in silence before the audience breaks out in applause. They managed to not only get everything right but also touch the listeners. They all feel accomplished and once again take a seat on the sofa. 

“That was amazing boys!” the host congratulates “If every song on your album is like that I can’t wait till it arrives! Remind me, when will it launch?” 

“The album sales start in two days, but the first music video is already posted on our YouTube channel” they all smile and wave goodbye after the second part of their interview.

Backstage they change and fool around, having just delivered a really good performance lifts up the spirits of everyone in the room. No pouting today, which does not mean that Jin won’t tell a few of his dad jokes. He wouldn’t be him without them. 

They still have half of the day left when they exit the studio, so they decide they’ll gonna make a game afternoon at their dorms. It has been quite a while since they all sat together and played some board games, just for themselves and no cameras around. They quickly agree on the plan and also get some snacks on their way home. Every good game afternoon contains some snacks.

Choosing which games to play was harder though than just agreeing on playing board games in the first place. While the maknae line wants to play Monopoly Hoseok and Jin want to play Uno and Yoongi and Namjoon don’t really care. In the end, they decide to play a few rounds of Uno before spending the rest of the night with Monopoly, as this could take some while. Especially with the constant bickering and joke intermissions, who had to pay whom and why it wasn’t fair that Yoongi always got Mayfair and Park Lane. Let alone Taehyung being the first to shout that he gets to play with the mini Yeontan. 

The evening was spent laughing and bickering, just like any family game night. Eventually, they sat all together cuddled on the sofa in the living room, snoring soundly while the TV was still showing the movie they started to watch but never finished.

~~6.

They are still lying spread out on the sofa and now also the floor when they are woken up by one of their phones ringing. Hoseok is the first to react, but he can’t get up because Taehyung clings onto him as if his dear life depends on it. So he opts for waking up the closest person lying to him, which happens to be Yoongi. Accomplishing his mission in getting someone to wake up, that someone being Yoongi, the phone is finally answered. Not all that politely but answered nonetheless. It turns out that it was their manager telling them they should get ready, they would be leaving in four hours to drive to the airport for their flight to Osaka, where they would shoot a few new episodes for Run! BTS. Being confused by the sudden flight Yoongi wakes up the rest of the member, asking them if one of them knew they would be flying today. Judging by Namjoons reaction he knew and forgot to tell them. Well, he forgot himself as well, so now they all had to pack up their stuff in less than four hours. 

Never before had they to do this as far as on this day, so without any further time wasted everyone gets up and head to their different rooms to start packing. 

After two hours there are still things not packed up and ready, but they decide to take a break and eat breakfast anyway, no use in running wildly around on an empty stomach. After that, they continue searching for their stuff and throwing their belongings into the suitcases. 

An hour later the first few are done packing and either helping the others or just sitting around, reading or playing games. The time slowly runs out, but there is also not much left to do. Let’s just hope everyone finishes on time or that whoever is watching over them decided to tell them a wrong time so that they were definitely all finished up and ready to leave by the time the car would arrive to take them to the airport.

~~Can you hold me

Feel like it's just me, like it's just me

What it gon' take?

What it gon' be?

I don't even know, I don't even know

But I'm lonely, lonely

Feel like I don't even know me

Feels like I don't even know me

I don't even know me

The second performance of the new song was better than the first one. At least that’s what I like to think. I can’t seem to overlook the mistakes I made, even though no one judges me for them. Well, no one openly judges me for them. I never know what’s in their heads. Maybe they already plan on swapping me out. I feel so alone sitting on my bed, with most of the others still bustling around packing their last things for the upcoming flight to Osaka. I already have everything packed. But I also didn’t give much thought about it. There’s nothing that could help make me appear less ugly. 

I stand up and head towards the bathroom. Once again standing in front of the full-body mirror. Once again lifting my shirt, poking my stomach. Ugly. Not enough. Where’s the old me. The one that at least had a slim and fit body. The one who didn’t hang behind. 

I don’t want this me, the new me will never gonna catch up. I don’t know what changed or how I can turn it back. I know nothing. Not about my self, not about how I am supposed to keep up with the talented six males that are my members. 

Before anyone finds me in the bathroom staring at my own reflection I go back to my room and throw my self on my bed. I hope they find a reason to kick me out soon, I can’t do this much longer. I just want to get this whole thing over with. They are better off without me anyway. I curl up into a small ball and as soon as I close my eyes the tears are flowing down my cheeks. Begging and praying to a god, who doesn’t exist, to change me up, or at least take the constant feeling of not being good enough away. And if the deities can’t do that, I just hope that at least my eyes won’t get all puffy and red. 

~~7.

They finish up packing just in time. With the last one of the members dragging their suitcase into the living room the doorbell rings. They all get up and head to the door, checking one last time that everything is turned off and that nobody forgot anything. The car brings them directly to Incheon Airport, from where they’ll fly towards Osaka, Japan. 

The flight is uneventful as most of the members sleep the whole two hours or just watch some movie. Once they arrive in Osaka they are instantly ushered in the cars to head to the hotel. They would’ve some time for sightseeing later in the day, for now, they are asked to head to there rooms. Unlike during the tour they would be sharing rooms so they had to make a plan who would room with who. They would be divided into three double bedrooms and one single bedroom. After arguing about who should be allowed to have the single bedroom they simply opt for rock paper scissors. 

“Ha! Bye! I’m gonna go lay in my beautiful single bedroom and take a nap!” Yoongi is the one to get the most wanted room so the others are left to build pairs for the rooms. This time deciding against the game that caused them to lose in the fight for the desired sleeping place. Without further ado, they take some pages out of a notebook and write numbers on it, then picking each a piece of paper to see who will get the same number. Jimin will share a room with Taehyung, Jin with Jungkook and lastly Hoseok and Namjoon. 

Once everyone is finished with unpacking they head out for some sightseeing. Not having this opportunity often when they travel for work, they all want to have some fun while in Japan. To not get too much attention though they decide to split up and meet again at a small café not far from the hotel in a few hours. Since they’re tired of deciding new pairs they just stay in the same groups as the rooms, with Yoongi tagging along Hoseok and Namjoon. 

They do some shopping as well as visiting some of Osaka’s main sightseeing spots, as the Osaka Castle and Dotonbori. While wandering through the city they take many pictures and even get recognized a few times. Luckily they are mostly left alone so that they can enjoy their time being just ordinary tourists. In the evening they all meet up and talk about what they visited during their day. They all decided to just get some takeout and sit together in Jins and Jungkooks room to talk and make guesses about the next episode, as they were left in the dark as well. 

“What do you think Jin Hyung, are we going to Universal Studios?” Jungkook asks excitingly, he really wants to head there and go on as many rollercoasters as possible. 

“I don’t think so Kookie, why would we specifically fly to Osaka to go into an amusement park, when there’s plenty at home?” Hoseok pipes in before Jin can even open his mouth. 

“Maybe we will visit Osaka Castle! Tae and I saw it earlier today but didn’t have the chance to go there.” Jimins bright eye smile appears instantly on his face. “They could make us answer questions to its history, or we could make another treasure hunt!” The ideas of the members get more and more confusing as they are speculating what’s about to come. From the rather possible ideas of a treasure hunt from Jimin to riding a boat on Yodo River. Yoongi even mentioned that they could just go to one of the old temples in the area or the library and would be doing something about the Japanese language. 

The later it gets the obscurer are the topics of the conversations. At one point they were talking about the possibility to get kidnapped by aliens or rather what would happen if the aliens swapped one of them out without the rest of them noticing. Before the topic can be discussed any further though Jin kicks them out. Talking about how it was already past midnight and he needed his beauty sleep. It’s still up for question how much of that is really true and to what extend he just wanted to have an excuse to avoid having to listen to any more alien talk by Taehyung.

~~Save me

I want to breathe, I hate this night

I want to wake up, I hate this dream,

I’m trapped inside of myself and I’m dead

It’s the first night not sleeping in the comfort of my own bed. I already miss it. At least there I have common ground, something to keep me grounded. If the constant anxiety over my performances and the hate comments I receive can be called that. Most definitely not. Being in the spotlight 24/7 is drowning all my energy. How could I survive all this for the past years? I can’t understand. I don’t understand anything. I hate this, everything about this. This life, my body, my endless thoughts about not being good enough. If I at least had a reason for my constant worrying. But no, I entered this circle out of nowhere. I couldn’t concentrate any longer. My performance got worse and worse. My looks were never good, but without being able to concentrate on anything I got out of shape. 

How much longer do I have to endure all this? When was the last time I slept a full night without nightmares? Without lying awake or crying myself to sleep? I can’t remember. 

As I lie here awake in the foreign bed, in a foreign room, in a foreign country, knowing that I have to get up early in the morning, I’m trapped in this circle of thoughts. I can’t help but think about leaving not only this situation, this band, this family, but this world. 

~~8.

The next morning they are woken up pretty early to get ready, they now also get to know what they will be doing for the Run! BTS episodes. Well, they are rather shown than told, when the car they’re in stops right in front of Atc Asobi Mare, a water- and indoor climbing park. 

“So I was right!” is the first thing Jungkook screams when they enter the park “It is an amusement park!” Everyone just rolls their eyes about the happy attics of the youngest, but can’t deny that they enjoy seeing him be this happy. 

“Yeah, you were right Kookie-ah” Namjoon adds laughing, showing off his dimples as they go further into the park. Everyone’s excited to see what was planned. Since they don’t really have to change clothes for now they head directly to the set and start filming. 

The first thing they have to decide on are the teams. As usual, this is a hodgepodge so they once again end up drawing papers. The teams are Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon for team one and Jin, Yoongi, Jungkook and Taehyung for the second one. When it came to the names of the teams it once again gets messy. 

“Oh, let’s go with Team Tall!” Jimin shouts, everyone starts laughing, even the crew can’t hide their laughter about Jimins exclamation. 

“But Jiminie that would mean you have to leave that team!” Jungkook laughs and almost rolling on the floor. 

“Yah! Have some respect! I’m still your older!” they start their typical bantering.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re too small for Team Tall Shorty HYUNG” at this point no one can hold back their laughter when Jimin starts pouting even the last of the surrounding people is almost lying on the floor. To get back on track Taehyung starts talking.

“So when your Team Tall, we will be Team Daechwita!” happy with his decision he claps in his hands. 

“Why though Taehyung? I mean Yoongi Hyung, Jin Hyung and Kookie-ah were all kinda part of it..” “KINDA?!” Yoongi interrupts Namjoon. “Yeah ok, they WERE part of it, but anyway.. what makes this a fitting name for you, too?” Namjoon corrects and finishes his sentence.

“Well, I’m the biggest fan, so it’s only natural!” Once again people start to giggle a bit, but not as much as earlier. 

With the names decided they finish up the first filming and would now have some time to go through the park on their own. Getting familiar with all the different attractions before filming the actual games.

Jungkook dragged Hoseok and the rest of maknae line to go climbing on one of the many wall climbing attractions. While the youngest enjoyed climbing up and then letting themselves slowly fall down with the support belts Hoseok just stands at the bottom overthinking his decision to stand next to the hyperactive bunny when the producer announced they had some free time in the amusement park. Lesson learned, never ever stand next to Jungkook while being in an amusement park. It can and will get you to be dragged with him. 

The rest of the hyung line just walks through the park looking at all the attractions and trying to figure out what they would be doing later. Their guesses are that they will have to do some games on the attractions as they notice some cameras already set up at a few of them. None of the members entered the water part of the park though so they weren’t sure if they would go there as well. 

When the time is up they once again gather up in their teams and then head to the first attraction as a group. 

~~9.

First, they walk to a huge swing set, you could already see the fear in Hoseoks eyes as the producer explains the rules.

“So one member of each team will be put on the swing, the others will push them to the air while you’ll have to answer questions about the other band members. There will be three rounds, so for Team Daechwita you have to decide on three of you to go on the swing, Team Tall you all have to go at least once” after finishing explaining everything the first members get ready to be swung around. 

“Can I please switch teams?” Hoseok tries again while being put into the safety gear of the swing set, being in the team where everyone has to go at least once is definitely not his favourite choice. 

The finish up quickly and after the first round, it seems that Team Daechwita is in the lead. 

Both Hoseok and Jimin didn’t manage to answer more than two questions and as Team Daechwita has the adrenaline bunny on their side this game for sure was theirs to win. No matter how many questions Namjoon got right he couldn’t catch up to the other team. 

Nevertheless, they got enough video material for the entire first episode just from this first game, so they change to making three parts instead of the planned two. For the second part, they need to get changed, so everyone files into the changing rooms to get dressed in their swimwear. 

As soon as they enter the water area of the park they already see what’s about to come. In one of the huge swimming pools, there are some floaty islands. Once again the producer explains the rules. 

“At the end of each parkour, there is a puzzle piece. You’ll have to get all seven puzzle pieces to be able to but the photo of the band together. The team that is done faster gets the win for the round. There will be five rounds with five photo puzzles. Each photo containing a hint, at the end the team that gets the mystery sentence correct will get three extra points. As you can see after this game there is still a chance for Team Tall to win! So get ready!” when the producer finishes his explanation they get ready at the start line. With everyone stumbling over the unstable floaty islands, there is some pretty good material for the second episode. Team Daechwita once again manages to finish most of the photos first. 

“No fair! They have Kookie in their team!” Jimin whines, but in the end, they at least got the extra points for getting the mystery sentence, courtesy of Namjoons 148 IQ. 

When all points are counted they still lose, even though it’s just by one point. Since they still have some time left they are allowed to stay in the park for a bit longer. Now that they have their swimwear on they decide to try all the different water slides, or rather the maknae line goes on the slides while the rest just stays in the pool relaxing. After his first mistake, Hoseok kept space between Jungkook and him so that he wouldn’t be dragged again. He already had more than enough action for one day. 

As fun as the day in the amusement park is, everything good has to come to an end, so when it’s time to leave no one complains. Actually the youngest powered themselves completely out, leaving three almost fully asleep bandmembers and four that are trying to keep them at least awake until they get to the hotel. None of them is all to keen on having to carry them around. They had to do it many times in the past, but today they were too tired themselves to do so. 

Back in the hotel, they all fall into their beds almost instantly. Dreaming about the next day when they would be having a barbeque at the riverside and would also exchange their manito presents the producer asked them to prepare and bring with them on this trip. 

~~10.

The first one to be awake the next morning is Jimin who bounces happily on Taehyungs bed to get him to wake up. Today they would have a barbeque and exchange the presents and he really wants to see Yoongis face when he opens his present, as Jimin is his manito. As soon as Taehyung is awake as well they rush to the other rooms getting everyone to get up so that they could already start filming. 

Finally at the riverside, they all take place around the fire that the crew prepared earlier, they eat delicious food and even get to drink some alcohol. The atmosphere is overall chilled and warm, perfect conditions for the end of this mini-series of episodes. After they are all stuffed with delicious food and slightly tipsy, not too much though, they prepare their presents. 

“So who will start?” asks Jimin, all giddy to finally gift his present. 

“We will go from oldest to youngest!” announces the producer “So whoever got Jin-ssi please give your present” Taehyung happily jumps up from the chair he was sitting on and runs over to the table where all the presents are laid out. He walks over to Jin and hands him the package. Jin slowly opens it and in it is a handheld mirror decorated with lots of little RJs. 

“The both things you love most Jin Hyung” Taehyung added with a bright boxy smile on his face. Jin says his thanks and then its Jimins turn to get up and give Yoongi his present. All the way he is skipping and happily humming.

“I saw this and it reminded me a lot of you Hyung, so please appreciate my present!” he hands over a giftbag and when Yoongi pulls out a sleeping mask with the same cat on it that was on his doormat in front of the genius lab every one starts laughing. 

They go one after the other and give out their presents, in the end, Hoseok got received new sneakers from Jungkook, Namjoon got a full bag of RJ merch from Jin, Hoseok gifted Jimin with a few jewellery pieces, Taehyung got a second set of bear figurines from Namjoon and last but not least Jungkook got a bunny plush dressed up in one of their stage outfits from Yoongi. 

“Not fair Yoongi Hyung! You always gift your own merch but as soon as it comes to Kookie you actually get something nice!” Taehyung and Jimin pout at this. 

“Yah, you ungrateful little..” “LANGUAGE!” Jin interrupts “ugh fine... I already told both of you I love you, what do you want more?” the conversation slowly gets back to easier topics and they have a lot of fun. Even after finishing up the filming, they stay a bit longer and just enjoy their time by the fire. When the sun starts to set they start packing up and heading back to the hotel. They had another TV show appearance the next day, and after that, they would head back home. On the one hand, they were all looking forward to getting back home but on the other hand, they wouldn’t mind staying just a tad bit longer to see more of the city. Especially Taehyung as he still hadn’t had the chance to visit Osaka Castle to take pictures. Maybe he had to come back here when they had their next vacation. Of course, taking at least one of the other members with him. If he gets the chance he would take them all. A family vacation in Osaka didn’t sound all too bad in his opinion. 

Back in the hotel they quickly wash up and head to sleep, already packing most of their stuff back into the suitcases so they wouldn’t have to do so the next day. 

~~11.

Starting their last day in Osaka with a huge fight wasn’t planned at all, but with so many people in one place, a fight was always right around the corner. 

It all started when everyone was ready to leave for the TV studio except Yoongi, who was still fast asleep as no one dared to wake him up. The previous days, they were lucky that he always was already awake when they silently knocked on his door, but today this wasn’t the case. They discussed for long who would have to wake up the grumpy rock, with Taehyung losing the rock paper scissors, he now stands in front of his room. Knocking first, when no reaction whatsoever can be heard he takes out the spare keycard to enter the room. Just as they expected he was still curled up into his usual sleeping ball form, snoring softly. Without hesitation Taehyung accepted his death and pulled the covers from Yoongi, shaking him slightly and singing a happy song. Grumbling Yoongi slowly wakes up and the first thing he does is curse at Taehyung. After explaining the situation he is wide awake though and almost shouts at Taehyung again for not waking him up earlier, not listening to his explanation of the discussion happening earlier. 

When they finally arrived at the TV studio, luckily only five minutes late, they immediately are rushed trough styling and makeup and send up on stage where they enter while already singing their newest song. The audience is booming and once again they catch some of the people there swinging army bombs. Happy with the resonance they start with introducing themselves. The host asks some questions about the comeback and also about the songs and album in general. The question don’t differ too much from the already answered ones in the Korean talk show, so they don’t have to think long before answering. Some of them are new though just as the question about who came up with the idea of revamping the older albums.

“We all did.” Namjoon starts “When we started discussing the new album and what we wanted it to look like we were all over the place at first but quickly made up our minds.”

“Yes, we had our seven years anniversary last year so there are many happy memories to look back on, we wanted to put all that into our new album, so we did” Yoongi adds onto it. They all nod and agree, reacting to the cheers from the crowd with aegyo and flying kisses. They really enjoy themselves being on the Japanese TV show.

The show goes by quickly and before they know they’re back in the hotel room just lying around in Jins and Jungkooks room, fooling around and making plans to come back for Osaka on their next vacation. Not only Taehynung wants to come back, but also Jungkook and Jimin. They have different reasons but the overall intentions are the same. While Taehyung wants to take photos of Osaka Castle, Jimin and Jungkook want to visit the Universal Studios. Once hearing about that Jin pipes in as well, wanting to see the studios, too. 

After much talking, they decide to just order food and watch some movies, before packing the last bits and pieces back into their suitcases to be all ready to leave the next day. Even though they wouldn’t leave before noon, and would only be back in Korea in the evening they still want to be ready as soon as possible. The earlier they’re ready the higher is the chance that they could at least grand Taehyungs wishes to take some photos of Osaka Castle.

So when the clock shows ten pm they’re already done with packing and there is not much left to do, so they just head to bed. The next day would begin early in the morning with a trip to the castle before heading to the airport. 

~~1-800-273-8255

All this other shit I'm talkin' 'bout they think they know it

I've been praying for somebody to save me, no one's heroic

And my life don't even matter, I know it, I know it

I know I'm hurting deep down but can't show it

It’s the last night in Osaka. My mind won’t stop spinning. I can’t, I just can’t. Thoughts keep drowning me. At this point, suicide seems like a valid solution. I never wanted to go this way, but my mind is the darkest place I can think of. There is no way of escaping. I just wanna end this. End it all. Finally, have my peace. The colour of my future is pure darkness anyway, why staying. I’ve got nothing left. 

As so many times before, there are tears running down my face. I get up from the bed and try to be as quiet as possible as to not wake up the other person peacefully sleeping in their bed. I grab the notebook that I packed and head out of the room. My feet are carrying me towards the roof garden. There I sit on a bench, it’s cold but I’m numb to the limit where it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m tired, just so endlessly tired of feeling numb, suffering and also living. I take the pen out of my notebook and start writing.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to leave you guys like this. I’m no longer human, death is the only way out that I can think of. I don’t want to disappoint you anymore than I do anyway. I just don’t deserve to be here, I don’t deserve to live. Suicide is not a defeat in this war I’m fighting, it’s my cure. My door to peace. The only way I can shut out these voices in my head, that are constantly drowning me. My mind became polluted by darkness, it’s the darkest place I know. I’m not gonna bother you ever again, you can live on your lives and just forget about me ever being part of you. I won’t be mad, it’s a relieve. I’m sorry again to ever even thought I could belong. Goodbye.” 

As I finish writing I notice that half of the words I wrote are almost unreadable because of the stains my tears left on the paper. I can’t even write my last goodbyes without messing up. Realizing that I’m just a big mistake, a failure, I hug my knees to my chest and just listen to the cars driving at the bottom of this hotel building. 

When I feel ready to go back inside the first birds already start to sing and the sky takes a brighter colour. I guess I’m not getting any sleep this night.

~~12.

As soon as the plane lands back in Korea everyone is relieved. They’ll have a day off before they start to work again on their choreographies and other content. There were still some songs to record for Taehyungs mixtape as well as a few other solo projects and Yoongi promised Taehyung to help him. Since their plane landed pretty late in the evening they won’t do anything for the rest of the day, just relax a bit after the stressful days in Osaka. 

The next day they start their day off with a rather late breakfast and end up staying at home the whole day. Everyone on their own, reading, watching movies and series as well as playing games. The day ends too early for their liking but no can do. The things that have to be done tomorrow are at least a lot of fun, they are deciding on what they wanna do for their next Bon Voyage. 

Just as planned Jin, Namjoon, Jungkook, Hobi, Jimin, Yoongi and Taehyung are leaving their dorms to sit down with the producers at a meeting in the Bighit building. Once everyone is seated the discussion starts. 

“Let’s go somewhere cold again, New Zealand was pretty cool” Jimin takes the word. 

“You got car sick multiple time on that trip, you sure you wanna reenact that?” Yoongi now pipes in. Everyone shares some looks before they continue as if nothing happened.

“So somewhere cold… how about Europe? We could go to Scandinavia!”

“But Tae we already were there remember? Our first-ever Bon Voyage was there!” Hoseok trows into the room. 

“It’s even better then! I mean we already took so much inspiration from our old albums for the new one, why not do the same for Bon Voyage!” Jungkook happily shouts out, showing his famous bunny smile. Everyone agrees so they concentrate on the what to dos after that. 

“So should we visit the same locations then and make a recap of the first season or should we visit different places?” Namjoon asks. 

“Maybe we could do both? I really liked many of the places we saw back then and would love to see how they’ve changed, but also we could do some of the things that didn’t make it into the last one?” Jin now participates in the conversation as well. 

The discussion continues and they plan many things, some old places that they wanna revisit as well as some newer ones and lots of hiking and camping. Jin and Yoongi even got their wish come true, they would go ice fishing during their time there. The time flies by and they have almost everything planned except the exact hotels and places to camp. They want to get a good mix of both, but without the camping bus as in New Zealand, since the roads are much too uneven there to force one of them to drive it again. Maybe for the Bon Voyage that comes after this one, meaning season six they can revisit that idea since many fans liked it. 

Happy with the amount of planning they finished they head off to the studios. Yoongi who keeps his promise and helps Taehyung with his mixtape and Namjoon and Jin who follow Hoseok to the dance studio to get some more dance practice done. With everyone being busy Jimin and Jungkook decide to just leave for the gym and maybe have a Vlive there while training. It seems like a fun idea. 

Slowly the day reaches an end and everyone is back at the dorm where they sit down together to talk about their individual successes of the day while enjoying their meal.

“So Suga Hyung helped me with my mixtape today” Taehyung beams while stuffing some ramen into his mouth. 

“He was really cool while working, and we even finished recording a whole song!” He goes on about it and even lets the other members listen to it. 

“Wow, that sounds awesome Taetae!” exclaims Jimin, loving the new song. “When will you be done with all of them? I wanna hear more!” He adds on and snatches some meat from Jins chopsticks.

“Yah! Get your own!” Jin is scolding Jimin but can’t be mad for long as Jimin gives him his infamous puppy eyes. They all laugh about the casual banter. Hoseok telling everyone how proud he is about Namjoons and Jins improvement. They managed to get all the steps down and now it’s all about perfecting them, but that shouldn’t take too long and can be done by themselves. 

Now it’s Jungkooks and Jimins turn to talk about their time in the gym, they decided against the Vlive since there were too many other people around and they didn’t want to bother any strangers. All in all, everyone had fun that they decide to make a Vlive the following day, all together in their dorm. They think about doing it right that moment for a bit, but decide against it since it’s already quite late. So all they do for now is wishing everyone a good night on Twitter and Weverse, then head to bed themselves.

~~Already gone

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I look at myself. I look absolutely ugly, there are bags under my eyes, my eyes don’t laugh when I try to put on a smile. I can’t I just can’t do this any longer. They won’t need me for anything now anyway. I’ve done everything that was needed. My hand moves on its own, opening the cabinet and taking out the pills I’ve collected. Taking them all. It’s the middle of the night and I quietly leave the dorm. Nobody noticed, they are asleep and will wake up tomorrow, having one burden less. I wander around through the night until I reach the huge bridge going over the Han river. Wanting nothing more than to climb the edge of it and letting everything go. Just falling down into the deep river drowning myself like I’m drowning in my mind. I left the letter I wrote on my bed. Before I can reach the middle of the bridge and climb to my death, fate decides differently. Everything goes black, I guess the pills started to kick in. The last thing I can take in before everything is gone is a panicked shout. Yoongi. Did he follow me? What is he doing here? My thoughts once again spiral around themselves before every last bit of my consciousness is drowned out. 

~~NEWS

Today we received word from BigHit Entertainment stating that all further concerts and shows of BTS are cancelled, due to Jung Hoseok, aka J-Hope, currently being in the hospital. They gave no further explanation, but fans all over the world are flooding Twitter and other social media with # WeLoveYouHobi. Speculations are that the Idol tried to kill himself but luckily got rescued by bandmember Min Yoongi, aka Suga. Hoseok is currently in hospital, more information is not provided. Get well soon!

~~Suicide

Suicide, baby, it's the worst

Think about the people that you'll hurt

They won't even care about the things I'll choose to do

Because all I am is all that I've been through

The next thing I can remember is a steady beeping sound. I slowly open my eyes and everything around me is white. I try to sit up but there’s a weight on me. I raise my head and see Jungkook sitting on a chair beneath the white bed I’m on, lying half on top of me asleep. I look further around me and see all the other members sitting on chairs or the ground in the room. The only one awake is Yoongi. He must’ve called an ambulance because the room I’m in is certainly not in the dorm but the hospital. He looks up as well and as he sees I’m awake a mixture of many emotions washes over his face. Anger, sadness, confusion and lastly relive. He gets up from the sofa he was sitting on and comes over. Slowly as if not to frighten me. Once he’s directly beneath the bed he falls to the ground, clinging to the bedsheets.

“Never ever do this again!” he sobs, “you scared the heck out of me, out of all of us!” I’m shocked, I never imagined that me leaving would have such an impact on them, I never saw Yoongi this upset, ever. I open my mouth to speak but before I can say anything he hugs me tight.

“Promise me, promise you’ll never do it again. I’m not letting go of you until you promise me, Hobi!” he’s still crying and it breaks my heart seeing him like that. I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt them!

“I… I promise..” I’m choking on my words, “I’m so sorry Yoongi, so sorry.. please forgive me..” now I’m the one sobbing. By now the others woke up as well and one by one they all join the group hug. 

“I.. I just thought I wasn’t... good enough... “ my sobs are getting harder. 

“How can you think that? Your existence itself is a gift to us!”

“We all love, we’re not a family without you Hyung!”

“Yes, thank you, thank you for being in this world, don’t leave us!”

I guess I’m loved and needed after all. 

“I’m thankful for you guys! So much, I won’t try to leave ever again… I promise..”

Butterflies can’t see their own wings, the rest of the world can. 

#bts #bts ff #sad #angst #happyending #sadff #TW suicide attempt #self love #bts idol verse ff #bts idol #fanfiction #fictional

[namjuicyy]

The Contract - Chapter One

Masterlist | Requests are open.

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut.

Genre of this part: Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k.

Summary: Your life is turned upside down when a contract is pushed your way. But what happens if you sign it?

Warnings: BTS arguments, mentions of other groups in a sexual setting, multiple sexual partners suggestions. 

Taehyung plonked himself down on the makeup chair, a sigh escaping his lips as he did so. He was tense, frustrated, and completely exhausted. There were heavy bags under his eyes from all the training, physical exertion and the lack of sleep that made him look a good ten years older than what he actually was. And he wasn't the only one looking that way. All six of his brothers were the same. And, as a result, each one was irritable and prone to snapping at their members with no warning. It was like the seven of them were walking on eggshells, constantly tiptoeing around one another in fear of starting an argument. They'd been doing this for five years. And whilst they enjoyed it, they were tired. Physically and emotionally.

They were tired of the early mornings and the late nights. They were tired of the plagiarism accusations and hate. They were tired of their privacy being invaded, by the press, the fans and even themselves. Their six-bedroomed apartment (that was originally four) was so small and pokey, with thin walls, there was just no privacy at all. Jungkook couldn't count the amount of times he'd walked in on one of his hyungs doing something, either in the bathroom or on their bed. He couldn't count the amount of times he'd had to shove his headphones in his ears to drown out the sounds of sex coming from bedrooms across the apartment. Well, that's a lie. He could. But that was only because his hyungs getting laid happened so infrequently he couldn't exactly complain about the noise. Not when it was something they obviously needed.

That was one of the few things that they loathed about their job. Worldwide, there was this assumption from the general public that with fame came thousands of young women willing to throw themselves cunt-first at their favourite celebrities and that they'd be having sex all the time. The Rolling Stones managed it. They were constantly involved in some kind of sex scandal, Namjoon was pretty sure of it.

But Bangtan Sonyeondan didn't get that side of fame. They got the busy schedules and the untrustworthy women who would be more than willing to sell just how big the member's dicks were to the first magazine who would buy her story. The boys couldn't trust anyone, and, as a result of this, couldn't do what normal twenty-year-old men usually do which was getting balls deep in the first consenting woman they could find. Hoseok couldn't remember the last time he felt a woman. The warmth and wetness that he heard so often in porn. Instead, like his members, he was forced to lube up his hand (or his Fleshlight if he was lucky enough to be at home at home) and go to town listening to two people fucking, wishing it was him.

The lack of intimacy made them frustrated in more ways than one. Sexually, of course, but also generally. It had gotten to the point where, the morning before a performance, Jimin and Jungkook had broken out into a huge argument over something so small and trivial, no one could remember just what it was about. The hyungs could just hear bickering coming from two of the maknaes, and the words becoming more and more venomous as the argument was allowed to continue. Yoongi rolled his eyes, locked his phone, and stood up, removing himself from the chair and heading into the corridor.

"Right!" His voice was loud and dominating, and echoed around the hallway. Despite the volume, he still hadn't raised his voice. Not really. Despite the steely tone his voice carried, he was still as calm and serene as ever. The power of his voice rang with, was enough to silence the arguing brothers, and force their attention onto him. "I don't give a fuck what this is about," Yoongi continued sternly, "I don't give a fuck who started it and I certainly don't give a fuck as to why you're still continuing. What I give a fuck about is the fact that there are thousands of Armys outside that door, waiting for us to put on the performance of a lifetime. And so help me God, if either of you let them down I will strangle the pair of you. Do you understand me?" Jungkook and Jimin didn't answer verbally, they just nodded. They daren't mess with Yoongi when he put on his 'dad voice' and threw his weight around.

Yoongi stepped back, no longer blocking the entrance to the makeup room and pointed to the door. "Now, get in there and get yourself sorted. ___'s been in there for ages waiting for your sorry asses and it's not fair on her to have to work overtime when you two can't help but butt heads. Go on."

You were stood at Jungkook's station, joining the rest of the room in silence as you listened to what the argument was about. Jungkook's regular artist was out for the day. She couldn't leave her bed apparently. Which is why you chose to step in on her behalf. Jungkook sat next to Taehyung, throwing himself down onto the chair just as his hyung did. He was clearly so done with everything, you weren't entirely sure what to say. Instead, you did what you knew would make him feel better by leaning down over him, and dangling your arms over his shoulders, resting them on his chest, hugging him from behind. Jungkook always loved it when he was in a bad mood and someone hugged him. And he loved it even more when it was you doing it.

"What was that all about?" You asked gently as you began working on his face. Not that he needed it. He was so infuriatingly beautiful without makeup, it made him ethereal when he wore it.

Jungkook sighed, frustration ever present in his voice. "Hyung taking things too far again. Not being able to take a joke."

"What was the joke?"

"Some crack about how his voice sounded like he was on helium."

You rolled your eyes and tutted. "Before a show, JK. That wasn't very smart was it? You know how he feels about his voice. Even at the best of times he's insecure about it."

"I just wanted to lighten the mood, ___-ah. I promise I didn't mean to offend him."

"I know, honey. But there's a time and a place but this is certainly not it."

"But he didn't just tell me to shut up like he usually does. He went really off the rails." Jungkook's expression changed from annoyance to worry. "He's never done that before. He started screaming at me. Calling me impertinent and disrespectful. I just wanted to make him laugh."

You could see his eyes beginning to water. "Okay. Alright. Here's what we'll do: we'll stop talking about it, and you won't cry and ruin everything I've already done so far, okay?"

Jungkook chuckled a little and nodded.

The concert went well, thankfully, and everyone put their differences aside to perform properly. But when the curtain fell, so to speak, and they were sure they were away from the fans, tensions began to rise again.

The car ride back to the hotel was silent but tense. No one dared say anything just in case the hatred for one another would spread. Jin sat there, looking out the window, watching the nightlife roll by and wondered how it had come to this. How they could have gone from being on the top of the world to almost hitting rock bottom. He'd been thinking it for a while, as had Namjoon. Maybe they should give it a rest, and move onto separate projects. Maybe.

They all sat in the only suite of the booking, and made sure Jimin and Jungkook could see each other as they discussed the events that had unfolded not five hours ago. Sejin, one of their managers, decided it was his job to join the discussion on behalf of the company, and as a friend, given that the argument was so large, it tore a hole in their teamwork. The boys confessed their feelings, confessed how tired they were, and how lonely they felt, and that they just didn't know what to do.

Things were resolved within two hours, a record for the boys. Usually arguments would last a week and would need a whole weekend of calm discussions to put the fire out. Maybe it was because of how fast Jimin and Jungkook were willing to apologise to one another. No one knew. But what they did know was that they were all physically and emotionally drained and were ready for their beds.

Sejin thought for a moment. His mind was ticking like a clock as he processed everything he'd heard and everything he knew after spending many years working alongside the band, and in the music industry. His voice raised as he spoke. "I think I might have a solution."

Jin, "A solution?"

Namjoon, "To what?"

Sejin, "Your problems. Well, some of them anyway." He was tentative with his words, carefully treading on untouched ground, not fully knowing how the boys were going to take his proposition. "There's this... arrangement I've heard of.."

Yoongi, "Nothing illegal, I hope."

Sejin shook his head. "No. Nothing like that. But, of course, it's still a very hush-hush topic. If fans aren't happy about idols dating, they most definitely won't be happy about this.

"You'll be surprised at the amount of bands who actually do this. It sounds worse than it actually is, and even female bands do it too. What they'll do, is they'll find someone within their company, someone they can trust and are attracted to, and will contract her to be intimate with them."

"So they turn a staff member into a prostitute?" Yoongi's question came out more like a statement, one he was disgusted in.

"No. Because the intimacy some band members have with her isn't sexual in the slightest. Sometimes it's making out on the sofa when they need it, or being cuddled to sleep. They move her into their apartment with them, and basically call on her when they need her... for whatever. Kihyun apparently gets MONSTA X's Affectionate to cook for him. Not because it's a sexist thing, but because, to him, it's such a sweet gesture. It's one extra thing for him to not have to worry about. Plus, apparently, she's amazing in the kitchen.

"I know that right now you guys are void of a good fuck," Sejin continued, "and maybe your lady could start out as being just that for you, when she consents to it. But over time, all you might require from her is a hug, or even a movie night. I know what you guys are like."

"Isn't that a bit weird though?" Namjoon asked. "We'd be sharing one woman?"

Taehyung chimed in. "Are you worried about jealousy?"

"That and the fact that she'd literally be our whore... even if she's not having sex with us. I don't know. If we had a partner each it wouldn't be as weird."

"Well, we can't afford a woman for each of you." Sejin countered. "It's one or nothing."

Jin laughed. "Bullshit you can't afford it. The company turns trillions over each quarter."

"I wasn't talking about financially. We can't afford to essentially lose seven women from the company. Because even though they'd still be working for Big Hit, you're essentially her boss. She'd be at your beckon call. Plus it will also teach you little shits some self-control." Everyone laughed. "You don't have to agree to it right away. Think on it, discuss it and let me know."

Namjoon hesitated, then spoke. "You say other bands have them. Who? I want to know what their relationships are like with their... whatevers."

"I'll email a list to you as soon as I get back to my room." Sejin offered.

Jungkook, "What? Do you managers have a group chat or something where you talk about who the band members are fucking?"

Sejin stood and turned to walk away. "Yes. We do." He joked.

"Sejinnie-hyung has sent me the email of bands." Namjoon announced as the members lounged on the sofas.

"Who's on there?" Yoongi asked.

Namjoon tittered. "Pretty much everyone we know. GOT7, EXO, VIXX, MONSTA X, SHINEE. The list seems endless. I guess we really didn't know just how common this was."

Jungkook, "You guys aren't seriously considering this, are you?"

Hoseok, "If it's going to make sure everyone here stops being so pissy all the time then yeah, I'm all for it."

Namjoon, "Well, there's certainly no harm in asking around is there? We'll do some research, come back with what we find and then make an educated, unanimous decision."

The boys did just that. At first, they couldn't believe that they were even entertaining the idea. It seemed so morally wrong to pluck one of their staff members out of all of them, move her in with them and fuck her until she couldn't walk. Who would they even choose anyway? How would it work? Their apartment was hardly big enough for them, let alone an additional person. Where would she sleep? Would she get her own space? Would they find anyone who would even consider entertaining this idea either?

They were told that some of their friends had these women. So Namjoon asked around. He called some of their colleagues who were experienced with this kind of thing and did the research for the band, returning to them with his findings. And, ultimately, there were more positives than negatives. Jackson, one of Namjoon's closest friends, explained GOT7's relationship with their lady. They call her their girlfriend, because that's essentially what she is. She's polyamorous, and is in love with all of the members, just as they are with her. Jackson admitted that it was odd, at first, given that they were all dating the same woman. But, in a strange way it just made them that bit closer. She's the calming outsider who knows them back to front and inside and out, who stops arguments before they begin and takes their stress away. And, they do the same for her. They love her, as she does them. She even refused to renew the contract because she wanted to stay with them. Of course, JYP made her sign a new one to cover their backs, but that's the only reason why they have a contract in place.

The more they heard about it, the more they warmed to the idea. And so, within a week they'd pulled Sejin to one side and told them they wanted to go ahead with it. Sejin was pleased. "Excellent! So," he pulled out his phone and looked at the boys expectantly, "tell me a few qualities you want her to have, and what you each want out of the relationship."

"A relationship." Namjoon told Sejin. "We want what GOT7 has. We want her to be a good friend of ours -"

Taehyung, "Warm."

Jin, "Kind."

Jimin, "Gentle."

Jungkook, "Sweet."

Hoseok, "Kinky." Everyone stared at Hoseok. "What? You were all thinking about it!"

Yoongi shook his head, but he didn't disagree. "We want someone who thinks of others. Who will do the little things that other people think doesn't matter. Someone open-minded who will let us take care of her as she will of us."

Namjoon, "She also has to be single. We don't want to break up a love that's already there."

Sejin stopped typing and locked his phone, a smile forming on his face. "I know exactly who you want."

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