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#she had no idea i gave her everything i had
souliebird · 2 days
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[[and then I met you || ch. 20]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.
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Words: 4.3k
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Pain radiates through your body as you begin to regain consciousness. There are two points that are throbbing and parts of you want to slip back down into the darkness until the aches are gone, but the rest of your body doesn’t like that plan. 
Slowly, the switches in your mind are flipped to ‘on’ and you become more aware of what is happening around you. There are two people talking near you - a man and a woman whose words you cannot yet process, but the deeper voice sounds so very familiar and comforting. It takes a few moments or hours - you cannot tell - for you to give a name to who is speaking, but when you finally figure it out, your mouth speaks his name.
“Matt…?”
Your name is said, then something is touching your face. Your instinct tells you to pull away, so you try to, but there is a gentle pressure keeping you in place.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just me, sweetheart. It’s just me.”
Forcing your eyes open takes a few tries and you have to blink multiple times to get anything into focus. Slowly, Matt’s face forms in your vision, looking so, so haggard. His hair is fluffed up like he’s been messing with it and he’s got a frown that is so out of place on him. He should be smiling or laughing. That is how you always picture him in your mind - warm and happy. 
You realize it is his hand that is cupped along your jaw and press into it, letting your eyes close again. His thumb begins to rub along your cheek and you want to melt into it and allow yourself to drift back into the nothingness where there is no pain. Matt, however, has other ideas.
“I need you to stay awake. Can you do that for me?”
You do not want to do that, but since he is asking, your eyes open again. Your brain feels like sludge, but it is your knees that are screaming at you to not move. 
You are startled into being more aware of your surroundings when a feminine voice speaks from above you.
“Matt, you need to move if you want me to do anything.” 
He seems to hesitate, his face screwing up into something clearly unhappy before he finally pulls away from you. He doesn’t go far, though, stepping only a foot away. Only once your vision isn’t filled with a handsome-exhausted lawyer do you process that you are laying on your couch.  You have no idea what is going on, why you are in pain, or how you got to this position, but part of you feels at ease because Matt is there with you. 
You trust he won't let things go badly for you.
A beautiful, but tired, woman steps into your view, a pen light ready in her hand. She has an air of authority about her that has you not questioning why she is in your living room. 
“My name is Claire, I’m a nurse,” she tells you and you introduce yourself. “You passed out. I'm going to check your eyes and ask you a few questions to make sure you don't have a concussion.”
“Okay.” You don't remember passing out, but it would explain a few things. Your anxiety-people-pleasing mind pushes your confusion down and wanting the examination to be easier for Claire, ask, “Do you want me to sit up?”
“Do you feel like you can?” She counters and you don’t really know the answer, so you try. Your head throbs as you do and your knees are not happy about bending, but you get yourself into sitting. More pieces are added to the puzzle of what is going on, but none of them make any sense. 
You couldn’t tell before, but Matt is wearing a dark red jumpsuit that reminds you of Captain America’s armor. There had been a news segment where they had brought out a replica to talk about the design and the function and all you can think is Matt somehow got his own copy and customized it. For whatever reason. You certainly don’t know all of his hobbies - it could be a cosplay thing for all you know - or some kink - or both. 
You are in no position to judge.
The other puzzle piece is Karen’s boyfriend, sitting at your kitchen table looking at his phone, with your daughter in his lap. She is splayed against him in her bright pink jammies and her sleep headband, and you can only guess how deep into dreamland she is. But why is she out here, being held by a near-stranger, and not in her bed? 
You don’t get to ask that question - Claire is back in front of you with her penlight, shining it directly into your eyes.  As she does, she fires questions at you.
What is your name? Birthday?
Where are you and who is the current president?
What is twenty divided by four?
You pass the concussion test and are rewarded with two of the biggest ibuprofens you have ever seen. You take them, chasing them down with water from your sticker-decorated water bottle, as Claire tells you what is what.
“You have a decent sized cut on your forehead. It needed three stitches - and those will dissolve on their own, so you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll give you some of these higher milligram pills for the headache you’ll have, but a good night’s rest will have you up on your feet again. Do you need instructions on how to clean the cut?”
You take in the information at face value, still unsure why you are being examined and cared for in your living room as opposed to a hospital. Everyone else seems so sure of what is happening and completely fine with it, so you simply shake your head.
“Um, no, I know how to take care of it.”
“Perfect,” she turns away and begins to pack up a backpack on the coffee table you did not even notice. “If you start getting nauseous, head to the ER. Now,” she turns to stare down Matt, “If my delicate hands are no longer needed, I’m going back to bed so I am well rested for the job I actually get paid for.”
“Thank you, Claire. I appreciate it,” he says in a soft voice, but there is a layer of gravel in it you aren’t used to. 
The nurse finishes her packing, then looks to you with a small smile, “it is nice to finally meet you, I’m sorry it was like this. Late night calls have gone down since he told me about you.”
“Nice to meet you?” You say to her as she leaves your apartment, completely unsure of who you just met and what her connection to Matt is.
As you continue you try to comprehend what is going on, Matt moves towards you. He cups your jaw with both hands, smoothing his thumbs over your cheeks, “what were you thinking?”
You frown at not only the rougher tone he is using, but the question, “Matt, I don’t know what is going on. I don’t…” 
You trail off and finally mentally address what you have been ignoring.
Your hand creeps up to your face and you feel the edges of the band aid covering up the cut on your forehead. How did you even manage to do that? Claire said you passed out - but how? And why? And why are Matt and Frank here?
Did Minnie call them like she did with Foggy when you were sick?
You don’t know those answers, so you switch to things you can figure out. You search your mind, trying to recall what you were doing before you apparently passed out. You remember cleaning the bathroom, then Minnie coming in and throwing up. 
As those memories surface, the rest rush you - you took Mouse to the bodega and on the way home, some man attacked you. You remember struggling and fighting then…then there is nothing. 
The fear you felt then tickles back into your throat and you can feel tears starting to form. 
“We were attacked,” you breathe out and almost instantly, Matt is pulling you to him, wrapping his arms around you and cradling you as the reality of what happened hits you. You cling back, burying your face into the rough material covering his shoulder, and try to not break down. 
You’d been slapped a few times - but no one has ever tried to physically hurt you to that extent before. You had never felt so helpless - so useless - before. You hadn’t been able to protect your daughter. 
Hands had been around your throat and in your hair and you had flopped around like a fish. 
He could have killed you. 
He could have killed Minnie. 
Matt gently rocks you as you process what happened to you. You try to not cry, but you can’t stop it when some tears do start to fall.
“Why were you out so late?” he asks into your hair and the guilt pools in your belly. You were so stupid to go out.
“Minnie was sick,” you mumble against Matt’s shoulder. “Her stomach was upset, and we didn’t have Pedialyte. We had to go get some.” 
You can feel him frowning into your hair and it just makes you feel that much worse about everything.
“It couldn’t have waited until morning?”
“No.”
It’s not you that responds - it's the man across the room you completely forgot about. You lift up your head to look at Frank, confused why he is speaking up for you. Matt partially turns, pulling you along, and angles his head towards the other man.
“No?” He questions, not sounding pleased at all that someone else is chiming in.
“No,” Frank repeats firmly. “That’s bein’ a parent, Red. Your kid needs something in the middle of the night, you go out and get it. That’s how it is - there ain’t no waiting until morning when they are sick. That’s how they get dehydrated. She didn’t do anything different than any other mother in the city.”
Matt’s lip twitches and you have the feeling he is trying to not scowl or snap. You can tell he is just worried and upset over what happened, but you’d never seen him like this before.
But Frank is right - there was no scenario in which you did not go to get Minnie what she needed when she was sick. 
You look to your baby, and you need her in your arms. You pull away from Matt, wiping at your eyes as you do, and make your way to your small dining room. You feel more than see Matt follow you - practically becoming your shadow until you are in front of Frank. Once you stop walking, he is against you again, his chest to your back and his hand on your hip.
Your daughter is dead weight as she is passed to you and you cradle her to your chest, giving her hair a kiss before asking, “Is she okay?”
“She’s okay,” Frank assures, and you feel like he is speaking to both you and Matt. “Probably going to have some nightmares and be clingy, but you’ve got one brave and smart little girl.” You smile a bit at the praise, because you like to think the same thing about Mouse - brave and smart - your perfect little angel. 
“Gave her some of that Pedialyte,” he adds, “and she drank it all, so hoping whatever made her sick will be gone.”
“Thank you,” you mumble. You feel like he is a father and that is why Minnie seems comfortable with him, but he has an air about him that makes you not want to ask.
You rock your daughter in your arms, feeling so grateful that she doesn’t have a scratch on her. You have no idea what you would have done if she had been hurt in any way.
You can feel yourself starting to calm - your tears are slowing as you accept and process things and part of you just wants to curl up in bed with your family and sleep for twelve hours. 
Unfortunately, that is not in the cards for you. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Matt’s head jerk towards the main door, and you can’t help but tense up. His vibe since you have woken up has been on edge and you're surprised he hasn’t snapped or something, yet. He pulls away from you to stalk towards the hallway and you hold Minnie just a bit closer to you, unsure what he could have heard.
He swings the door open and there is a woman with thick jet black hair and bored looking expression. She pushes past Matt without care and enters into your apartment. 
“Don’t ever ask me to do that again.”
“What happened?” Matt asks.
“Well, he’s not dead, but he won’t be waking up anytime soon. I even got you a report number, so you can follow up,” the woman says, and you realize they are talking about the man who attacked you. That makes your heart start beating a little harder and your mouth feel dry.
“Did they say where they were taking him?” 
You tune out of the conversation and instead focus on holding Minnie. You press your lips to her hair and avert your eyes away from Matt and the woman. You look briefly to Frank, who is back on his phone, then let your eyes wander elsewhere. Minnie’s sippy cup is sitting on the dining table, so you decide you can at least clean that up. 
As you move around the table, something else catches your attention. 
There’s a large black bullet proof vest sitting on one of the dining chairs, with a distinctive looking skull spray painted on it. 
You’ve seen that skull before - it’s a common thing to see spray painted on a wall or post box around Manhattan. It’s a symbol everyone in the city knows just as well as Spider-man’s emblem or Captain America’s shield - it’s the Punisher’s logo. 
The Punisher - whose real name is Frank Castle, who, if you recall correctly, looks strikingly similar to the man sitting at your dining table. 
For some reason you do not understand, you do not panic. You simply stare at the vest, all the connections flying around in your brain, and mentally go ‘Well, that makes sense.’
The Punisher is here because he was with Matt.
Matt’s dark red jumpsuit isn’t a cosplay or a kink thing - it’s armor. 
It’s armor because he is Daredevil - the protector of Hell’s Kitchen. 
Matt is Daredevil.
Daredevil is Minnie’s Dad.
That’s why he sometimes has bruises and cuts you don’t ask about. That’s why his knuckles are scarred. 
That’s why he is in your apartment tonight - Daredevil stops people from being mugged. 
You were being mugged and he came and rescued you. He called his Superhero Doctor to come make sure you were okay so you wouldn’t have to go to the hospital and explain how a blind man stopped the attack. 
“You okay?”
You look to Frank, and you expect to see blood and guns and mayhem, but all you see is the man who brought you soup. You see Matt’s friend and Karen’s boyfriend - who are two of the kindest people you have ever met in your life. They have treated you better than anyone ever has in your life. They care about you. 
You flash back to your very first encounter with Frank and you recall how you were scared of him, but Minnie wasn’t. Minnie - who is unsure about everyone new. You trusted her instincts even before you knew about her gifts - you’d once heard you can tell a person’s intentions by how toddlers and dogs react to them, and you’ve always found it to be true. 
So, you decide to trust Minnie as well as your initial reaction - it may possibly be because of a concussion but you would actually like to sit and think about what you just learned rather than react blindly. 
“I’m okay,” you say slowly, sticking with how you feel in that exact moment, and not how your night is going. “I think I’m going to go lay her down.” You hesitate, then decide you still need to be a good host, since this is your apartment, ask, “Would you like anything to drink?”
“No, thank you, ma’am,” he says, his lips turning up into a small smile. “Think it’s time for me to head out - leave you and Red to have a talk.”
Your cheeks heat up and you know he knows you have figured out who he is. You hold Minnie even tighter and look down to your feet, your anxiety over being perceived starting to spike.
But you know better than to be rude and Frank has always been kind to you and Mouse.
“Thank you, Frank. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us.”
You do not flee, but you do walk a little faster than normal to carry Minnie to bed. You oh so carefully place her down and tuck her in, making sure Pig is right there with her. Scooby must be out in the living room, and you’ll need to grab him when you finally are able to lay down. 
You stare down at your daughter, who is sleeping so peacefully, and let everything wash over you again. You cover your mouth to try to repress a sob, but you know it doesn’t matter - Matt will still hear it. 
Everything is changing so much and so fast and you don’t know how to deal with it. 
First, you finally find Minnie’s father, then you find out he has super senses and your daughter inherited them, and now you learn he is a superhero.
You don’t know how to even begin to process this development. There is no guide for this and you aren’t even sure how you even feel. 
You can’t be angry at Matt - you don’t know how he got into crime fighting, but you know how passionate he is about being a lawyer and helping people. You know he loves Hell’s Kitchen deeply and you can’t imagine having to hear every little crime that goes on. 
You don’t know much about Daredevil. You know he sticks to Hell’s Kitchen and he’s made the area safer. He stops muggings and break-ins, and he’s cleared out various gangs. You know the community likes him for the most part - there is actually a mural of him in an alleyway near the diner. 
But what does it mean for you and Minnie? 
How does Matt being Daredevil work with him being a father? If you look back over the last few weeks, you haven’t really noticed anything off. 
But what if he gets into a fight he can’t handle? 
Or some bad guy learns who he is and comes after Minnie to get to him? You know that happens to politicians and cops and such, so it would be no different for a vigilante. 
What secrets will you need to keep?
Do you need to learn more than basic first aid - like how to stitch someone up?
How will you explain this to Minnie?
Does he know Spider-man? Captain America?
Does he kill?
There are so many questions ping-ponging around in your mind you don’t notice when Matt enters the bedroom. 
He comes up behind you and says your name in a soft voice before wrapping his arms around your waist. He holds you to his chest, chin dropping over your shoulder, and to your surprise, you find yourself leaning into his hold. 
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” he tells you and you close your eyes at his words, letting his voice wash over you and corral your thoughts into something quiet. “I had a plan to tell you - to explain everything. I swore to myself I wasn’t going to hide anything from you.”
You believe him. 
You wish you would have known sooner, but you also understand why he didn’t tell you. It’s not just something you tell someone, and Matt has proven that his intentions have always been good. 
“Am I going to get another binder?” you ask, sniffling a little as you do to stop more tears from coming.
“If you want one, I’ll make you one,” he instantly replies, “just please don’t take Minnie away. I beg of you.”
You can hear the fear and pain in his voice, and you know exactly how he feels. You remember how scared you were that he would take Minnie away. 
You turn in his arms - looping yours around his middle and resting your forehead on his shoulder. 
“I wouldn’t do that. Not unless she is put into danger.” 
“I would never.”
Again, you believe him. 
His arms tighten around you until you're snuggly pressed into him and you can feel armor and buckles pressing against you. You squeeze him back, needing the comfort and needing something to ground you. 
You need to feel safe. 
Matt makes you feel safe. He made you feel safe before you knew what he did in the night and now it’s just amplified.
“Did you stop him?” You ask in a whisper. “The man who attacked us?”
“I did,” he responds. “I’ll stop anyone who dares to try to hurt my family.”
You shakily nod against him, then ask the question you fear, “Did…did she see?”
He doesn’t respond right away, but when he does, the guilt is palpable, “No. Frank made sure she didn’t see anything.” 
That eases your anxiety a fraction. You will need to talk with Minnie about what happened, and you already fear that conversation. She has never seen anything so violent before and you are surprised she isn’t already having bad dreams. You have no idea how she’s going to react in the morning.
You have no idea how you will react in the morning. 
You press your face into the crook of Matt’s neck, where there’s some type of rough black fabric. He begins to rub his hand up and down your back - you don’t think it will be soothing, but you don’t want him to stop. 
You want him to stay and hold you.
You want him to keep you safe. 
So, you tell him. 
“Stay the night,” you mumble against him, and he nods into your hair. 
Neither of you move to pull away - you stay holding each other in front of your daughter and you wonder if he needs the comfort as much as you do. 
It feels like time crawls by and your knees, which you must have banged up in the attack, start to make it known that you need to stop standing. Matt must sense something, as he nuzzles into your hair and whispers, “We can talk more in the morning. Let's get you to bed.”
You hum in agreement, then slowly bring your arms around to Matt’s front so you can place your hands on his chest, “I need to change. I’ll grab you some sweatpants and a shirt.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.” 
It still takes you a minute to finally step away and when you do, his hands drop from you. As you go to dig for clean sleep clothes, Matt begins to undress. You try to not turn to look - you are curious about how the suit is put together and how he gets in and out. You didn’t see any zippers or other clasps, but you suppose he wouldn’t want those out in the open if he’s fighting someone. 
You find two sets of sweats, one large enough for Matt. You hesitate to start changing, but then remind yourself that not only is he blind, but you’ve slept together, so you have no reason to be shy. So, you strip and pull on your new pajamas. 
Matt is still working on his boots when you turn back around, so you set his clothes on the bed. You remember then you are missing a member of the sleep squad.
“Do you know where Scooby is?” 
To his credit, Matt doesn’t look confused. You wait patiently as he uses his abilities, then smile when he tells you the toy is under the coffee table. You go to fetch him, and finally drop Minnie’s sippy cup in the sink, and when you return, Matt has finished changing. 
You hold out Scooby to him with a small smile, “Do you want to tuck him in?”
Matt’s solemn face lights up and he takes the dog. You watch, with a strange lightness coming over your heart, as he places Scooby beside Pig. He places the tenderest of kisses to your daughter’s temple, and you can see him move his lips, but are unsure what he actually says. 
You let him have his moment before taking his hand and tugging him towards your bed. He won’t be sleeping on the couch tonight and both of you know it. You lay down first, then he does, stretching out on his back.
“Come here,” he breathes, and you obey. You roll so you can curl into his side, resting your head on his shoulder and a hand on his chest. His arm wraps around you and you feel Safe.
Your body and mind feel so heavy as you close your eyes, and you hope you can sleep as peacefully as Minnie. 
The two of you lay in silence and when you finally succumb to your exhaustion, as the darkness takes you, you once again hear Matt’s soft voice.
“I love you.”
-
AN: Its not mentioned bc Reader missed it but it is very important to me that everyone know Jess brought Matt his gloves as well.
Also new header :3C
-
tags:
@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 
@petrovafire39 @ghostindeath 
 @allllium
@anehkael
 @nennia-2000 @seasonofthenerd @abucketofweird  @mattmurdockstateofmind @imagineswritersblog @hazelhavoc @smile-child-13 @allst4rsfall @hashcakes @kezibear @mapleaye @sammanna @gamingfeline @moon-glades @nightwitherspring @phoenix666stuff @dare-devil
@ladyoflynx @hobiebrowns-wife @sarcasm-n-insomnia @lillycore
@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt
@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374
@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare 
@mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @yes-im-your-mom @hunnybelha @actorinfluence @capbrie @prowlingforfood @jupitervenusearthmars
@
Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 
@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @nommingonfood @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium 
@
two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04  @ astridstark13
 @lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday
@starry-night-20 @rebeccapineapple @writtenbyred @cherrypie5 @capswife @silvercharacterchaos @resting-confused-face
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dudeitiskarev · 2 days
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Like The Movies | Aaron Hotchner
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x female reader
Summary: he met you on a snowy winter day and since then, a tradition was born.
Tags/warnings: soft Hotch; mild nudity; mentions of food; pregnant reader; very silly tooth rotting fluff
Word count: 1.1k
Author’s note: another repost! It’s cold today and thought of this fic :,)
MAIN MASTERLIST | HOTCH MASTERLIST
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It wasn’t a dangerous activity—swimming on an almost freezing lake, or at least try to—but this time, the weather was being too passionate about covering everything with a thick blanket of snow.
Your hands were ice clutching his bicep, holding onto it him if your life depended on it, and his eyelashes were turning heavy, making it difficult to see beyond his nose. It was your tradition, though, and you were already with just your underwear on in a 27 degree Christmas morning.
There was no going back now.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Aaron said between clacking teeth.
“It was your idea.” Your chin shook too. “And yes. It always turns out to be a good idea. Fun stories to tell to our future grandkids, remember?”
That’s what you always told him when something slightly stupid happened—planned or not.
“Well, it’s a little different this year.” He turned his head to you. “There is a snowstorm now. And… there is a baby inside you.”
“It’s still a fetus.“ You looked up at him with a playful smirk. You’d given him the news early that morning as his Christmas present—along with some new ties and a massage coupon valid for a year. “And there wasn’t a snowstorm when we left home. Did you check the weather?”
“No?”
You narrowed your eyes and both examined your surroundings. The storm had gotten worse.
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” you gave in.
The thing was, it’d never been a good idea for him at all. Before he met you, Christmas had never been a good time of the year—for many reasons—but since you came into his life, that changed. You flipped his world upside down and Christmas turned into his favorite holiday just because of how happy the colorful lights and hot cocoa made you.
You were his favorite season, and for that, he was willing to feel that dagger-like pain just because of what came right after—being wrapped with a blanket, sharing heat between laughs.
“Let’s go back to the car,” he said. “This year we can make an exception and pretend to swim on the lake.”
“But—”
Aaron turned his entire body to you and closed the space between you, cupping your face. “She can freeze.” He gestured in between you with his brows.
“She won’t.” You smiled, placing your hand over your stomach by instinct.
“So you agree it’s a girl?” He was convinced you two were having a girl, even when it was too early to tell.
“It’s a fetus.”
“Let’s go back inside.” He laughed.
“No. Let’s do it quickly.“ You pulled him to the shore by his wrist. "We’re already here."
Aaron sucked in a hesitant breath.
"Please?” You pursed your lips. But he really was scared that your baby—or fetus—might freeze. "Hotch, she’s safe. Nothing will happen.“
"Fine.” He brought you close into a hug and scooped you by your thighs, holding you tight. “But it’s better like this. With her in between us.”
"Okay.“ You laughed and clung onto him with heart and bones as he dragged his feet through the snow and started to get in the freezing lake.
"It’s—oh, god, it’s cold,” he said with a tight high-pitched voice.
"Just ten more seconds.“ You squealed when the water reached your hanging feet and held your breath when the water reached your back.
Your stomach and his were glued together, keeping the baby warm, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the involuntary funny sounds he kept making.
“God, I love you so much,” he said between clenched teeth.
“I’m sorry!” You said loudly. “Okay! We’re done! Out! Out!”
Aaron moved as fast as he could and sprinted back to the car with you still in his arms, locking yourselves in the back seat where everything to keep you warm was already settled.
“Skin to skin! Skin to skin!” You barely let Aaron adjust and you were already straddling his lap.
He reached for the towel and quickly dried your bodies before placing the fuzzy blanket over you.
“I think we should find another Christmas tradition.” He kissed your temple as he started to rub your back.
“But I love this one.” You sniffed your nose.
“I love it too. But next year, with our baby, we won’t be able to do it.”
“I know.” You smiled at him and pecked his cold lips.
It was hard to believe that soon it wasn’t going to be just the two of you and your dog Chester.
“We’re really having a baby.” You sighed, so in love.
“We are.”
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be.” He cupped your face. “Don’t be. I know it’s scary, but everything’s gonna be alright.”
He’s always been so good at calming your thoughts down.
“I’m scared to love so much.”
“I’m a little worried about this new love we’re gonna have. But it’s a good thing.”
His cheeks and nose were still flushed by the cold and his almond-shaped eyes were glimmering with a different light. Aaron often wished he could be with you inside your little bubble forever, away from the city and everything that came with it. You were enough for him and thinking about this new chapter in his life made him want to step aside and get to be with you through it all. It was a tough decision, but there was no rush to decide just yet.
Soon your bodies gained back temperature with the help of the hot cocoa, extra blankets and laughs.
“Okay, I think we should go. My parents are probably tired of babysitting Chester, and they’re waiting for us to start prepping dinner.” You put back on your hoodie, ready to hop on the passenger seat.
“Wait.” He swiftly took you back on his lap so you wouldn’t escape. “I uh, have another present for you.”
“You bastard. I knew it. I don’t want it. Save it for next year.”
“Oh, I think you’re gonna want this one.” He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small ring, holding it right between your noses.
“Hotch,” you whispered in shock.
“I was going to propose this morning, but you had a better present for me so I had to improvise and put this one off.” That better present being the positive pregnancy test. “Marry me.”
Your eyes turned glassy and now your chin shook trying not to cry, but you couldn’t not to. The tear drops almost jumped out of you.
“Oh don’t cry.” Aaron wiped them off with his thumbs. “Honey, don’t cry.”
“It’s the hormones.” You laughed, drying your tears with your shirtsleeve.
“Is that a yes, then?”
“Of course.” You laughed again while nodding. “I love you so much. I can’t wait for you to be my husband.” He reached for your hand and put on the ring, placing a kiss over it. It fit perfectly. “You’re crying too?” You caught the single tear with a kiss.
“It’s the hormones.”
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Text
Bau x reader , where the reader is in an abusive relationship
Warnings: abusive relationship , blood , slightly yandere bau , gn reader , could be perceived as a poly bau
Summary: you are in an abusive relationship and when you call Hotch crying , they all rush to your side
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The people in this team are smart and their job is literally to be observing
They obviously notice your change of behavior the moment you step out of the elevator the day you had met him/her
The energy you gave of , the way you talked and even your choice of clothes made them assume you had met someone. They totally DIDNT feel jealous at all
But you seemed happy and they had no control over you
Penelope was the one to ask and learn about the charming kind man you just met.
So the was the one who informed the others
She stalked all of his accounts and pulled out his criminal records (that were clean) his financial state and everything about him
Not even two weeks after you entered the building with a new air on you
You were shining in happiness
Everyone could feel It and everyone knew
Morgan definitely did not do an extra harsh box training that evening with Enily
And Spencer obviously did not complain to Hotch about it all day
And hotch certainly didn't almost tear apart a book in frustation
Also Penelope did not cry on JJ s shoulder and neither did the opposite happen
Then , one day exactly one month later you were gloomy
The team almost held an interrogation to find out why
Turns out your boyfriend and you had just had a super intense fight that ended up in yelling
They were quick to offer you to spent the night with one of them
Or they could book a hotel room for you
You declined saying you need to solve this out
This went on for a long of time
The weather became worst day by day and you were the first one on the team to wear a long sleeved shirt
They didn't think much of it
Your mood was drastically changing , your once bubbly and happy personality disappearing
They were all extremely worried but they didn't know what could have caused it
' Do you think it's that boyfriend of theirs?'
Morgan asked once . They all appeared worried at the thought
JJ was sent to ask you about your relationship but you quite convincingly talked in excitement and contempt about it
They were obviously worried sick ,but could do nothing about it , since they had no idea what the problem was
When they were all out together , Hotch received a call by you
You were crying and stuttering your words
' Hotch' you breathed out
' y/n? Where are you?what has happened?'
He asked and all the others gazes fell on him , their faces twisting in confusion
' I -uhhh I am on my apartment. He has left but I'm hurting a lot. Please come help'
You had said. Calling Hotch was a conscious decision since he was definitely a safe person to you and the whole team.
While Morgan could beat someone up easier and Emily was a very violent person when needed , Aaron just had this energy that he gave off.
He could protect you and you knew it
They all hoped In two cars and were to your in no time.
You were lying on the floor sobbing , with blood around you
Spencer was the one to check up on you , covering your wounds
While JJ called the police
Morgan along with Penelope were frozen on the doorway
And Aaron was right by your side pushing your hair out of your face and whispering in your ear
You were badly hurt
The paramedics arrived and Spencer rode the ambulance with you.
Penelope and Aaron followed with their car while the other three remained on your apartment
They decided to clean it up, JJ bringing the chemicals to remove the blood , while Morgan angrily scrubbed the floor
' How could he? '
Whispered Emily enraged
Then they heard keys on the door
' Honey I am so sorry for what happened, but look I brought you flo-'
A man entered the apartment and appeared shocked to find your colleagues there
Morgan had risen up staring at the man with deep hatred in his eyes
Let's say that the man returned to his house with a lot of bruises , a bunch of threats and two days later his computer caught a virus
You were in the hospital, getting better
Penelope was in the chair besides your bed working something on her computer
Once you were woken up and not high, you received a lot of hugs and sweet words
When you could finally return home they all sat you down . You knew this conversation was coming
' We want you to feel comfortable telling us about things that are going wrong in your life '
Hotch had said his voice and characteristics unnaturally soft.
' Why didn't you tell us?'
JJ wondered and you had no acceptable answer
The day ended in a lot of tears and hugs.
You quickly returned to your workplace where you were greeted with a cake that had wobbly written on it ' welcome back'
Thay would always remind you to be careful in the field for at least a month.
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ilypaigebuckets · 3 days
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Can you write a fic about Paige comforting you after noticing that you’ve been down the past couple of days and she tries to help you destress and feel more energetic
Vitamin P - Paige Bueckers x Reader
plot: paige comes back to your shared apartment to find you stressed and drowning in assignments and helps you feel better.
WARNING: the reader definitely experiences some anxiety, stress, and depression in this fic! please do not read this if you aren’t in an okay headspace to consume this type of media! please look out for yourself :)
‘This is going to be the death of me,’ you thought to yourself as you ran your hands through your long hair. You’d been working on the same assignment for the past hour, and had hit a wall. The past month had definitely been one of your hardest since you’d started college. You’d never had trouble with your studies before, so you had no idea how to handle the feelings you were feeling. With your head in your hands, you groaned and let the tears fall. The whole room felt blue, and your couch felt like an ice cold stone.
You were so caught up in your overwhelming emotions, that you didn’t even hear your girlfriend come through the door. As soon as she saw you she instantly felt horrible. Had you been this upset when she’d left for practice earlier in the day? Had she missed it? What was causing you to hurt this much? Was it her? A million questions bounced around in her mind, but she knew the main priority as of now was getting you to feel better.
She walked up to you and patted your head softly, “Hey angel. It’s gonna be okay, baby. Everything’s gonna be okay. I promise.” Paige reassured you as her long fingers scratched your scalp. She sat down on the couch next to you and opened her arms so you could crawl into them if you so wished. Of course, you leapt at the opportunity and threw yourself into her lap. You inhaled her sweet vanilla perfume and buried your face into her neck. It almost made you feel better instantaneously. almost. The tears were still falling, and all Paige could do in that moment was hold you and reassure you.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay to cry. Can you tell me what’s going on?” You lifted your head and nodded as you stared at your girlfriend with teary eyes. Your cheeks were stained with tears and Paige reached her hand up to wipe them away. Your lover left her hand on your cheek and you nuzzled your face into it, any possible way you could be closer to her you would take. “It’s all too much. School and everything. Why can’t I handle it anymore? What’s wrong with me? I feel like i’m suffocating. It’s so much Paigey, it’s all too much. I can’t handle it anymore and I-“
“Shhh,” Paige hushed you as you started spiraling again, and held you even tighter than before. “You are amazing, okay? You’re my baby. I’m gonna take care of you.” Paige really hated seeing you like this. It was like she said, you were her baby. All she wanted to do was take care of you. She put her hands under your legs and started to stand up. Once you figured out what was she trying to do, you wrapped your hands around her neck and your legs around her torso.
She took you into the bedroom and sat you on your shared bed. Then, went into your drawer and pulled out some shorts and one of her t-shirts for you to put on. “Here, baby. Can you shower and put these on for me?” You stood up from the bed and nodded, and Paige gave you a quick kiss on the cheek as you passed her to the bathroom.
While you were in the bathroom showering, Paige got to work. She quickly made you a snack and a cup of your favorite “sleepy time tea”, and put your favorite blanket into the dryer so it would be nice and warm for after you got out of the shower. She then got changed herself and waited for her love to finish showering.
Once you were out of the shower, you changed into the clothes Paige had picked out for you. You decided you’d do your skincare routine. Despite it being tedious, you knew it would inevitably make you feel better. After that was all down, you came out of the bathroom to see Paige waiting for you in bed. She looked up and smiled when she saw you.
“Hi baby! Did you have a good shower? I made you some tea and something to eat. Here!” She handed a mug and a bowl to you and you pecked her sweet lips as a ‘thank you’. You quickly drank the tea and Paige fed you apple slices like you were a baby. “P, you know I can feed myself right?” You questioned her. Sometimes you really didn’t know if she knew you could do things by yourself or not, it seemed she was always trying to do everything for you (not that you minded). “Yeahhh, but I love babying you. You’re my princess.” You blushed at the comment. “Speaking of doing things for you,” Paige started, “let me brush your hair! Here, sit up baby.”
Now that was a train you could get on. You loved when Paige played with your hair. Whether she was brushing it, braiding it, or just playing with it, it didn’t matter. She was always so gentle with it and it helped you relax. She always paid careful attention to start from the ends and work her way up so she didn’t damage your hair, and she got out every tiny tangle. When she was done, Paige pulled you in close to her chest and kissed your forehead. “You feeling better, baby?” She questioned you hopefully. You just giggled and nodded your head.
“Yeah I guess all I needed was some Vitamin P. Thank you for always making me feel better, babe.”
“You would’ve done the same for me, I love you. Thank you for remembering how strong you are.”
“Thank you for reminding me!” You replied, already half asleep. Now that you’d had your dose of Vitamin P you were officially ready to get some Vitamin Zzzz.
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gucciwins · 1 day
Text
A Family of Three Grows
A/N: Thank you to the lovely Nonnie who brought back inspiration for this story I wrote in 2020 and last gave an update in 2022. Who knew 2024 would be the year I brought it back. This was fun to write and go back to this family's dynamics. Hope you enjoy, my sweet friends 💜
Word count: 3234
Adore You / Three Time / Leather and Lace / Family / Ask
+
Harry loved his family. 
Y/N and Atticus were everything to him and when Y/N broke the news their family was going to be growing, he was over the moon. It’s something they talked about but never rushed because they had Atticus, their sweet angel who would not stop growing. 
Atticus was the smartest boy. He was the top of his class and loved to read chapter books with Y/N. Each night, they would read a chapter and discuss their thoughts over breakfast in the morning. Harry’s input was asking questions so he could stay in the loop. Harry still remembered a summer day where he went to run errands, leaving them at home reading in bed and came to find them cuddled with ten books laid on their bed. He knew his son valued this time with the woman he called Mum. 
Life had treated them well. Y/N was writing, going to the studio when Atticus was at school. Harry adhered to the schedule and was open to working extra hours. Y/N and Harry were the perfect team. She helped create the entirety of Harry’s house. It was an album he felt captured their life in their own way. The grammy’s that year were a pleasant bonus to round out the amazing year they had. 
Y/N and Harry were in the studio today while Atticus was at school. Harry was in no rush to push out a fourth album. He enjoyed being in the studio with Y/N. It made him fall in love with her all over again. The ideas she brought were something he didn’t take for granted.
Y/N was sitting at the piano wearing her favorite oversized Ferrari sweater. The girl clung to her worn-out shirt, despite its tears. Not that he would ever make her. He had his fair share of tattered shirts in his closet. 
She was beautiful. How lucky he was to have her as his partner for the past five years. Their family is everything he dreamed of when he was a young boy. Without looking, she called for him to sit beside her on the bench. He did so without a second thought. 
“I wrote a song–well, it’s unfinished,” she tells him as she plays the soothing lullaby she wrote for Atticus when he was six years old and was having a hard time sleeping through the night. It’s something she played repeatedly until Atty would fall asleep. 
“Can I hear it?” 
Y/N shifts. She seemed reluctant to reveal it to him. 
“Well, it might not be any good,” she defends, and she pulls her notebook. 
Harry frowns. Y/N being insecure in the studio is unheard of unless it’s something she’s been holding in her chest for a long time and is finally letting it out. She passes him the notebook. There’s a picture holding the place she wants him to read. One look at her is all the encouragement he needs to open up the book and read the first words: For Atty.
He reads line by line and by the time he reaches the last words, there are tears fighting to fall from his eyes. Y/N wrote a song for their song. It’s a rough draft, and he knows she wants him to help her finish it. 
“Atticus knows how much we love him–how much I love him. But I want him to hear this song and know that my love isn’t something that will ever go away. If anything, it’ll only get stronger.” She tells Harry. 
It takes everything in him to not break down because he never expected to be loved this much in life. He expected to be content, but this was beyond anything he could ever dream of. “It’s fucking perfect.”
Y/N shakes her head. “No, it’s not even–” 
Harry stops her, reaching for her hand. He brings it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her hand. “It’s amazing. You wrote a song for our boy. Sure it’s not finished, but you wrote those lyrics calling our sun the light of our life. The reason the world turns. I have never been able to put into words how much he means to me, but you did it.” 
“I love you,” Y/N reminds him.
“Love you, too. So fucking much.” 
“Will you sing it?” Y/N asks. Those beautiful eyes are staring at him and there is no way he can tell her no.
After so many years together, Harry understands how Y/N writes songs. He can see the melody written out. It’s something that frustrates Tyler because he doesn’t pick up on her cues. Harry tells him not to sweat it, it’s something only they have. Something they have as the perfect pair. 
Y/N plays the melody on the piano as Harry sings the lyrics. The longer he sings, the more he feels his throat close up and by the final lyrics, he’s got tears streaming down his face. “I don’t think I can sing it without crying.” 
She laughs. “You’ll have to try. I want us to record it for Atty. Maybe get it on a record for him.” 
Harry gives her a long kiss. “That sounds like the best idea.” 
Y/N and Harry spent the rest of the day in the studio, knowing Atticus was with Anne for the day allowed them the extra time to be in the studio. By the time dinner rolled around, Harry had ordered them food from her favorite Chinese food restaurant. Y/N reminded him three times not to forget her spring rolls. Over dinner, they discussed the song and how they might want to surprise Atticus. Y/N made him promise not to tell him until they could have it produced by their good friend, Tyler. It would take some time, but it would be worth it. 
Y/N had a last surprise for Harry. They were back to sitting side by side on the piano bench when she passed him her notebook again. “There is one last surprise,” Y/N tells him. She flips the notebook a few more pages. There is a paper. He thinks nothing of it until Y/N turns it around for him.
A sonogram. 
It’s a black photo with a small gray blob in the center. Harry isn’t sure what to think. It can’t be true. Can it?
He squints, picking up the paper, and in the corner has Y/N’s hyphenated name.
“Baby, is this?” He gets out.
“What is it?”
“Are we–are you?” Harry lifts his head to meet her eyes that are brimming with tears. “Are you pregnant?” 
Y/N lets out a joyous laugh, one that finds a place deep in his heart. “Yeah,” she confirms. “I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.” 
“Oh, my goodness.” Harry looks back down at the sonogram. He wants to know everything, but all he can do is cry. Y/N stands up from the bench to move closer to him. Harry turns his body, resting his head on her stomach, Y/N settles her hands on his shoulder. She lets one run through his hair as he takes in the news that they are going to be giving Atticus a sibling. Something he would ask for constantly. They were making a dream come true. 
“Hi, little pea. I’m your Daddy.” 
Harry pulls away from Y/N when he hears a loud sob. “I’m sorry,” Y/N apologies for startling him. “That was–I don’t even know how to explain it, but fuck, you’re so amazing.” 
He drags Y/N to sit in his lap. Harry holds her close, rocking her back and forth, kissing her neck, whispering, I love you. This is something they talked about endlessly. Atticus was their boy. They had always said their family was perfect. Whether they added to their family or not, they are happy, but getting this addition into their life felt right. 
Y/N isn’t sure how much time passes, but she is ready to go home and be with Atticus. As they’re packing up, Y/N steps towards Harry, knowing he might be upset with the only downside to the news of her pregnancy. “H, we can’t tell anyone. Not Atticus. Not even Anne.” 
“But love, how do you expect me to resist?” 
Y/N’s smile is sincere. She knows he wants to scream it from the rooftops. “It’s early,” she stresses. “I want us to make sure everything is okay. That we make it past this first trimester. I know that’s asking a lot for you.”
Harry shakes his head. “Not at all, Lovie. I understand. Your health and the babies are important. I respect that.”
She gives him a kiss. “Thank you.” 
“Let’s get home to our sweet boy.” 
They leave the studio with their hearts full. 
+
It’s been three months and Y/N’s doctor gave them the all clear. Their sweet bub is growing at a good rate and Y/N is doing spectacular. No morning sickness, no weird food cravings (yet) and is glowing. Harry was excited because that meant it was time for them to share the news with their family, but most importantly, to Atticus. 
Harry spent the day getting the surprise ready. The vinyl was in a special box ready to be opened and then played. They’d be doing that first, then give Atticus the news. While Harry ran around getting everything perfect, Y/N laid in the hammock in their backyard with Atticus. They each had a book in hand. Atticus at 9 was reading the Percy Jackson series, something Y/N was excited about because they were some of her favorite books when she was growing up. Now she got to see her son experience everything she did at his age. It helped that she could answer questions he had, without spoilers, of course. 
Y/N set her book down, running her hand through Atticus’ brown locks similar to Harry’s. She knew he’d made a great older brother. She also feared he’d think she’d loved him less with a baby around, which was far from the truth. Atticus was hers, he was her baby boy and nothing or no one could take that from her. Harry likes to joke and say Atticus is her twin instead of his because he takes after her. Atticus has all of Harry’s looks but is everything her child for he has her love of reading. He loves the ocean and could spend hours in there with them. Atty was charismatic and had everyone’s attention as soon as he walked into a room. He exuded confidence and skillfully commanded attention with his voice. Y/N liked to say he picked up on both of their traits, but Harry assured her Atticus was a piece of her. It never failed to make her cry. 
“I love you Atticus.” Y/N told him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 
Atticus bookmarked the page he was on. “I love you too, Mum.” 
Y/N wanted to blurt out the news to Atticus, but knew Harry would be upset she did it without him, so she held it in. 
“Forever going to be my sweet boy?” Y/N asks. 
“Course. Going to take care of you all my life,” Atticus promises. 
Y/N smiles. A very Harry answer. “Much appreciated. I think your dad has got you covered.”
Atticus shrugs, “two of us looking out for you isn’t bad.” 
“Glad I’m in safe hands.” 
Atticus goes back to reading but Y/N stays lost in thought, waiting for Harry to announce his arrival. It isn’t much longer when Harry rushes through the backyard, box in hand. Y/N sits up, eager to give it to her son, but Atticus doesn’t seem concerned about his reading. 
“Hi bud, got you something?” Harry shakes the box softly. 
“Two pages left,” Atticus mumbles. 
Harry frowns. “This is your fault.” He points at Y/N.
Y/N gasps. “Please, who bought him an entire library?”
“Again you,” he defends. 
“Technically, your money.”
“Our money,” Harry corrects. 
Atticus is entranced in his reading and Harry uses the time to steal a kiss from Y/N. They refrain from anything too much for Atticus’ sake, but he never minds seeing them give a bit of affection. 
“Chapter done,” Atticus shouts. “Gimme. Gimmie.” He makes grabby hands, but Harry shakes his head, telling him they had to head inside. 
Y/N holds onto Harry’s arm as Atticus rushes inside to the piano room. It’s his favorite room in their Malibu home. The view is perfect. You can see the tides rolling in, one landing on top of another. The sounds perfect to lull someone to sleep. 
Harry sits next to Atticus while Y/N kneels in front of him, her hands pressed together under her chin as she watches him tear the paper. Y/N remembers doing that as a child and knows her mother was a saint for the patience she had. Y/N is close to ripping it herself, but when she sees the brown box, she settles down for a single moment.
Atticus pulls out the record. It’s in a sleeve with a beautiful print of Y/N, Harry and Atticus running through the sand a few months back. Anne had taken it and it became their favorite picture as a family. Harry
thought it would be the perfect fit, and it was. On the top of the cover it read “Atticus’ Song”. His small hands ran over the words as he sounded it out. 
“Is this us?” 
Y/N stroked his cheek. “Yeah, bubs. It’s for you.” 
“Can you play it?” Atticus asks Y/N. 
Harry knew Y/N was nervous. Hell, he was too. There was no worse critic than an honest nine-year-old. As Y/N placed the record on the player, Atticus fiddled with the string of the bracelet he made the other day with Harry. They all had a similar one on their wrist, Atticus having made Y/N’s matching them. Y/N walked back, squeezing next to Harry. Atticus closed his eyes to focus on the opening notes of the song. He was just like Harry, a true critic and admirer of all music. This time was no different. 
The song was slow and had the melody of a lullaby. Harry’s voice welcomed them into the song, with Y/N’s joining him in the chorus. Y/N saw Atticus’ lip twitch during her solo and she couldn’t help but squeeze Harry’s arm. The song ran its course, and they waited patiently for his thoughts. 
“Nice. It was really nice.” 
Y/N let out a deep breath she was holding. Atticus cries, and Y/N panics as she swoops him into her lap before Harry can even move. She holds him tight to her chest as she meets Harry’s worried stare.
“Darling, my darling boy. I got you. I always have you.” Y/N whispers, brushing his hair back, trying her best to soothe him. Y/N rocks him back and forth, letting him get out all his emotions. 
Atticus pulls back, his sniffles the only sound in the room. “Promise I like it.” 
Harry laughs. “Tears would say otherwise, bud.” 
“It–I–I” Atticus isn’t sure how to explain what he felt. “Can we play it every day?” 
Y/N presses a kiss to his temple. “Anything for you.” 
“You wrote it Mumma?” 
Harry scoffs in defense. “What if I did? Huh?” 
Atticus giggles. “Okay, Dad.” 
Harry pouts. Y/N is the stronger song writer, there is no fighting it. “Fine, she wrote most of it.” 
“We did it together,” Y/N answers. 
“It’s my new favorite.” Atticus declares proudly. 
“Good. That’s good. We do have one last surprise.” Harry is eager to share the news.
He stands up and goes for the frame they put the sonogram in for Atticus to keep in his room. While Harry steps out, Y/N settles Atticus in the middle of the sofa for Harry to sit next to him. Honestly, she wants to record this moment but decides it’s better to keep it private between them. Harry comes back with his dimples on display and Atticus is quick to be suspicious. 
“Now close your eyes,” Harry orders. 
Atticus looks weary but does as he’s told. Harry places the frame in his hands and when Atticus opens his eyes, he is looking at their most recent sonogram. It’s clear there is a baby in the middle with its head and body. Atticus would be quick to put it together, but even if he didn’t, the frame reading “Best Brother” would be a dead giveaway. Atticus’ jaw drops at the news. His eyes were not leaving Y/N’s as if he was waiting for them to say “just kidding” because he had waited a long time for this moment. There was a baby in his mum’s stomach. He was going to be an older brother. 
“Is that why you’re always snacking?” Is the first thing Atticus says. 
“Atticus,” Harry shouts playfully. Harry spares a glance at Y/N, unsure how she will react. She’s been a weeping mess, even if she denies it’s the pregnancy hormones. Instead, she surprises him by laughing. It’s a full belly laugh that makes her tear up. 
It is true Y/N had been snacking recently, always something in her hand from a mandarin to banana chips. Harry had stocked up on different snacks on his weekly run to Tesco. He was sure Y/N had almost finished them, but he didn’t mind making all the extra runs out. Anything for his wife. 
“How long do I have to wait to meet them?” Atticus asks when Y/N’s laughter has died down.
Y/N places her hand over her stomach. She hasn’t popped yet, but her doctor told her it would happen soon. Harry had taken photos every day, so she had seen the difference. “About six months to go, Atty.” 
His eyes widened. “Too long.” 
Harry laughs, pushing back Atticus’ growing curls. “Trust me, I know. But we’ve got an important job during this time.”
Y/N smacks Harry’s shoulder. “You don’t have a job, baby. We want you to keep being you. You can talk to us about the baby, about anything.” 
“Can they hear me?” Is his follow up question. 
“Mmm, you can talk to them all you like. Your Daddy certainly likes to do so.” 
“Hey,” Harry pouts. “Thought you liked it.” 
Y/N gives Harry a kiss. “I love it. One of my favorite parts of the day.”
“Okay. Can I do it now?” Atticus asks. 
Harry nods and gestures for him to settle on the couch with Y/N. He sits on Y/N’s lap while Harry is quick to try to move him, wanting him to be careful with her. Y/N simply pulls him closer, and it reminds him of how perfect of a mother Y/N already is. 
He joins his family on the couch, all snuggled close, while they listen to Atticus talk to his sibling. It’s one of the best days of Harry’s life and he can’t wait to make more memories in a few months’ time. For now, he will enjoy these special moments. 
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vivwritesfics · 13 hours
Text
Slow Down, You're Gonna Crash
Chapter Five
Summary: Being a Verstappen means realising that you'll never be as good as her brother. She knew it. That was why she ran away to California. Of course, she's gonna fall for the older, naval aviator. And, of course, it pisses her family off.
Bradley Bradshaw x F1!Driver Reader
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse (no description), throw up (bc i need that warning lmao)
2K
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Bahrain. The season opener. And she had no idea. After her call with Logan she’d stayed away from all things racing. She’d have given anything to be driving the number fifty three car around that track and couldn’t face the fact that she wasn’t.
Max had tried to call her, but she ignored it. She was having far too much fun with Rooster and his friends to speak to her brother. 
She’d never had a beach day like this. It was the sort of environment she’d never been in before, where everyone was just friends. They weren’t insanely competitive (at least, not in the way she and the people she’d grown up with were), and there wasn’t the feeling of dread that one of your friends could have your career ripped away from you and placed into their own hands at any moment. 
No, the beach day with the Dagger Squad was actually fun. She hadn’t packed for her trip across the United States with the beach in mind, but Natasha had been kind enough to let her borrow something to wear. As the day got hotter she wore her old team hat, complete with her driver number. There wasn’t anything much more embarrassing than that.
If the Squad thought anything of it, they kept their opinions to themselves. No, she genuinely had fun.
Days like this with Jos Verstappen as your father were few and far between. Any spare moment growing up was spent racing or training. Even as the golden child, Max didn't get any reprieve. But Jos seemed to hate her more than anything.
(Maybe it was because he was stuck with her. She'd been taken from her mother who was deemed unfit to parent and left in his care. How he was considered good enough to look after two children, she'd never know).
(She and her mother had reconnected just before her first season, but they'd never gotten close).
When the Squad started a game of football, she'd shaken her head, insisting that she was happy watching. Besides, she didn't know how to play American football, her only experience was having footballs thrown at her before the race in Miami.
But they insisted. Bradley had taken her hands and pulled her to her feet, but she was quick to sit back down. And, when that happened, he threw her over his shoulder. She shrieked and pounded her fists against his back, but her uncontrollable laughter gave everything away.
He put her down between Bob, Nat, and Mickey. "You okay?" He asked, searching her face for any sign of discomfort.
But she was grinning ear to ear as she said, "Yeah, Roos. I'm okay."
He joined Jake, Javy and Rueben across from them, and the game began.
As it turns out, navy pilots are incredibly competitive. But that was good. Because she was, too. But they weren't competitive in the way that she was. It wasn't treated like life or death with them, not like it was growing up trying to get into racing. They wanted to beat each other but just because it was fun.
Not because they were afraid of what their dad would do if they lost.
To the Squad, the way she avoided the ball was hilarious. But then the ball landed in her hands. With wide eyes, she turned towards Bob. "What do I do?" She asked in a panic.
Bradley, Jake, Javy and Rueben were all racing towards her. This was maybe the most terrifying moment of her life (psych, it wasn't even close).
"Run!" Bob cried. So she did just that.
She tucked the football beneath her arm and ran. As it turns out, she was only fast on the racetrack. She didn't get very far, not before Bradley wrapped his strong arms around her middle and lifted her off the ground.
"Bradley!" She shrieked and tried to throw the ball to Nat.
The game was forgotten to the two of them as the others continued playing. "Not bad," he mused as she turned in his arms. That smirk played on his lips, the tantalising one that had drawn her in in the first place. "Are you sure your only sport is driving?"
"Racing," she corrected as she pushed at his chest. But she didn't put much effort into it, not quite ready to leave his arms. "Well, if my career doesn't get back on track, I'm sure I could try out for the New York Dolphins."
A groan left his lips and his head fell forward. "You're killing me here, baby," he mumbled and pressed his lips against her own.
A few beers later, as the sun set on a perfect day, Bradley led her back to the Bronco. "Can I drive?" She asked a sober Bradley, wearing a smile that was all too convincing.
"Three beers and you think you're ready for the Bronco? Someone needs to learn to handle their drink," he said, voice teasing as he pulled her around to the passenger side. Bradley kept a hold of her hand as she climbed in. As soon as she was sat, she swivelled in her seat to face him and pulled his aviators from his face.
He didn't look at her with annoyance, as she had been expected as she put the sunglasses on. No, the expression he wore was full of fondness. "You had a good day, kid?"
The nickname was affectionate, fort he times he was feeling soft with her. It was his favourite of the bunch, the one that had a dopey smile crossing her face. "Yeah," she said, leaning to the side and letting her head fall against the seat. "I like your friends."
He pushed her legs around so that she was facing forwards. "They like you too," he said, gently pulling the aviators from her face and placing them back on his own.
He climbed into the other side of the Bronco and began driving. As soon as they were on the road, heading back to his, she took the hand closest to her and put it on her thigh, a satisfied hum leaving her lips. "There," she mumbled, placing her hand on top of his own.
"You okay?" He asked again, and she nodded. He'd never seen her so quiet before. It was a new side of her, one he didn't exactly mind. But, then again, he so far loved all sides of her. "Jake said they're gonna keep the party going in The Hard Deck. D'you wanna join them?"
Again, she nodded. "Okay, kid," he said softly as he pulled into the driveway. "Let's get some food in you, first."
It was a pleasant evening with Bradley before they headed out to The Hard Deck. But, then again, most evenings with Bradley were pleasant. She showered and got changed while he stood in the kitchen, making her something to eat, dressed in nothing but his beach shorts.
it was a quick turn around, her getting showered and changed. As soon as she was dressed she silently padded into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him. The smell of the sea air lingered on his skin. Heaven.
It was a simple dinner, but Bradley made the portions larger than she thought possible. She couldn't finish it all, and that was okay. After he'd eaten, Bradley jumped in the shower and got dressed into one of his signature Hawaiian shirts.
"Feeling slightly more sober?" He had asked as he pulled her up from the couch. She nodded but Bradley shook his head. "Words, baby."
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Roo. I promise you I'm feeling a lot more sober." She muttered something in a language he didn't understand, something that had her giggling. At her giggles, Bradley pinched her sides. But he took her hand and led her out to the Bronco.
Her first reminder of the opening race that she was missing came the moment they walked into The Hard Deck. She spotted four screens, one on every wall. It had to be some sort of joke.
"No way," said Bradley, pointing at the first screen he saw.
She said nothing as she sat at the bar and ordered a drink. She kept her eyes on the wood of the counter top as Bradley sat beside her. The rest of the Dagger Squad were gathered around the pool table, but she couldn't face them in that moment. She couldn't face anyone.
"Which one is your brother?" Bradley asked.
Penny placed her drink down in front of her and she finished it in one go. It wasn't glamorous. She slammed the glass down onto the counter top with enough force to break it. It was a miracle it didn't shatter. "The one in front," she spat, and he turned his attention back to the television.
It was a little jarring, hearing the commentary of David Croft in a place so far removed from racing. It went a shudder down her spine as she ordered another drink.
She didn't have much else after that. It didn't feel right to be ordering gin and tonics when she knew that was how her brother would be celebrating his win.
The naval officers in the bar threw questions her way, but they didn't seem to register just how much harm that was doing. This was fine, she tried to tell herself. It could be a whole lot worse.
Every time the number three car was mentioned, she couldn't help the anger she felt. That was the fucker that took her seat. And he wasn't even performing well. That had to be the biggest piss take of them all.
As hard as the Squad tried to get her to join them, she refused. Bradley joined them for a little bit, not before making sure she was okay. She stayed sitting at the bar, her only company Captain Pete Mitchell. And what company he was. He had asked more questions than anybody else and he wasn't shy about it.
They were maybe the slowest fifty seven laps of her life. But she was coping. Bradley joined her again, a welcome distraction from the race. If anybody could tell she was bothered, it was him. So, he spoke about anything but the race.
But then she looked up at the screen. For the first time since they'd arrived at The Hard Deck, for the first time since lights out, she looked up at one of the screens on the wall.
Her father had been a haunting presence ever since the start of her karting career. Well, he was the whole reason she had a career in the first place. Because of him, she knew nothing but racing. She had no life skills, barely had the ability to take care of herself because of him.
But that wasn't why she threw up on the floor of The Hard Deck. When you grow up the way she did, repressing memories becomes second nature when you see that person every day. But she hadn't seen Jos in months, not since the summer break in August.
It had been seven months since she'd last seen her father. All the memories, all the shit she'd suffered at his hands as a child, came back in one exhausting go.
That was why she threw up on the floor of The Hard Deck. "Shit," she whispered as she wiped at her mouth. She must have looked like a drunk idiot. "I'm so sorry, Penny, I..."
But what excuse did she have for this? "Fuck," Bradley whispered as he pulled her to stand straight. She'd expected to see sympathy on his face, but sympathy wasn't what she found.
Penny shook her head as she grabbed the mop and bucket from behind the bar. "It's okay," she said and turned her attention to Bradley. "Just make sure she gets home okay."
He said nothing as he took her out to the Bronco.
a/n: this might be my favourite chapter so far, i've got so much planned for these two (and if you've had to listen to my roo and [redacted] brainrot im sorry)
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heyidkyay · 3 days
Text
And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Twenty-Four
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?
Authors note: I’m here:) finally. It’s been a while, idk how long, not that long but long enough i guess, sorry for the wait! This one is wordy but also has a lot going on, so hope you enjoy!
Ngl, this can probably be read as a standalone if anyone’s seeing this and not started the series, it’s just a bit angsty and mostly smut? But unsure, I said probably! X
Warnings: Arguing, usual Matty and Mouse thinking (feels like it needs its own warning at this point, they’re saddos), smut, unprotected sex, EMOTIONS (because yeah)
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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There was something raw in the bitterness that was love. Like the sour skin of an apple that was first thought to be sweet. Love was deceiving in itself really, but it was never alone. It brought life and light. It wrought anger. It stirred both jealousy and pity. It gave and gave, until all you were left with was that tart tang aftertaste. 
Some people revelled in it.
Others, withered away.
Years before, perhaps maybe not even that long ago now, Matty would have belonged to the former. He had enjoyed the strings he found that could tie him to people, sex and money had given him the ability to do it, to keep them there, to pull them alongside him. And he’d indulged in it all, beyond what most would consider extortionate. 
And still, even after everything, when the fun had ended and the games had been discarded, and he’d just been tossed off somewhere to the side… Alone once more. He had continued on. On and on and on, until he ultimately had lost himself completely.
The last few months had shifted something in him though.
And now here he was, still angry and bitter and resentful. But full of actual love. The raw type. The kind that left you marvelling at the most stupid things— insipid little concepts that held no actual value or any real detail worth getting all starry-eyed over.
It had wormed its way into the hollow shell that was his heart and rebuilt some part of him that he believed he had long since destroyed.
He wanted to scoff at the very thought. The very idea that an emotion could be felt so strongly that it differed the world around you; that, singularly, it could change you. The notion was far too complex, too out there to even begin to fathom, but then again, Matty supposed that emotions were exactly that. Complex.
It sent his mind reeling. Had his entire body aching with a fever to expel the feeling completely, if only so that he could think freely again, so it wouldn’t hurt to merely breathe anymore.
You should have told me.
He knew that. He had admitted as much.
And yet, he still hadn’t told her.
He’d lied.
Why didn’t you tell me?
And that was the question, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he just told her?
Fear, he guessed.
Yet another morbid emotion in which Matty had always been so wary of. Another lost feeling he thought he’d swallowed whole and hidden somewhere deep down. Because there was no fear in a drug induced haze. When you were off partying or chasing some other euphoric high. What the fuck was there to be fearful of? When the chilling buzz which shook you to your very core blanketed over everything else.
When there was always that silence.
That numb quiet he had chased and craved and cherished.
Though, he supposed, it was nothing compared to the fear of losing this.
Of losing her.
Still, Matty could not for the life of him find it in himself to tell her exactly that. Those words lost on him, lodged in the column of his throat and etching themselves a home there.
“Where do we go from here?”
He blinked at the sound of his own voice, looking up at her shadowed expression and at how tired she then seemed. How different she now looked compared to the moment they’d first met. 
She’d been something of a presence even then. Always effortlessly complex. With her soft smile and guarded eyes. Eyes he’d gone and fucking wondered about for hours on end.
Those eyes which were now caught on the far wall stood opposite, the one lined with coloured photo frames and that odd little doodle Teddy had gotten in trouble for only a couple of weeks prior. 
The realisation made Matty mourn the few days they’d spent apart.
After a long moment, she finally shrugged at him and he found himself swallowing tightly at the movement. Startled by her seeming lack of care. 
“I don’t want to lose you, Squeaks.” 
It was honest. As honest as he could be.
She huffed an amused breath in return though, “Not like you’re short on company, Matty.”
He felt his gaze snap up to meet hers then, head shifting with it. 
“What’s that even meant to mean?” He asked her, frowning now, at the way she had crossed her arms over her chest and how her shoulders had hunched on their own accord whilst she casually moved to glance out the window. Matty forced himself up onto his feet, hating the fact she had turned away from him.
“I saw everything, Matty.” Mouse replied tiredly, as though she was fed up, fed up with this, with them. “I saw the articles.”
Matty’s stomach bottomed out at her words, he stepped towards her. “Nothing happened.” He murmured, taking another step closer. “Nothing fucking happened, Squeaks. I swear it.”
She tensed but didn’t quite flinch at his sudden approach, so he kept a little distance between them, even as desperate as he was to hold her. To shake her enough so that she would see sense, that she’d realise how stupid he would have had to have been to have gone near anyone else. That girl was no one, she’d meant nothing. 
“You can swear that, can you?” She mocked him, one corner of her mouth toying with a merciless smile that didn’t quite suit her. “You were gone, Matty. Fucking out of it. That much was clear to see just from the photos alone.”
Matty stared at her helplessly.
She shook her head.
“I’d had a couple drinks. That isn’t a crime!” He stressed, automatically falling onto the defensive, “Didn’t mean I was stupid enough to get with the first person I fucking saw! That girl- she was off her head too. Had mates with her even! But she was just trying to help me, Mouse. That’s all it was.” 
She was shaking her head again now, tongue catching on her incisor; a dead giveaway to how stressed she was, how anxious she was getting. Matty only wished to shoulder it all, that defensiveness of his faltering slightly at the sight of her trying to hide it all. To stay strong. How fucking long had she had to do that?
“I feel like such a fool, Matty.” She finally spoke, her voice trembling with the onslaught of tears that glazed her eyes but she didn’t dare let fall. “A fucking fool. ‘Cause I’d thought that things were okay, that we were okay. That I could finally relax and let you in. But then-“ She paused, a sad huff leaving her, “Then you went and dropped this mess in my lap and somehow expected me to just deal with it. To tell you it’s all fine. That we could make it right.”
Mouse turned then, ever so slowly, looking about as defeated as Matty had ever seen her. He felt his chest burn with the last breath he hadn’t remembered taking let alone hold onto, too afraid to look away, to even move. 
“But you embarrassed me. You’ve made the whole world believe I am that fool. That I was as naive as they’d first made me out to be. As my friends thought me to be.” 
Her smile was shattered and broken, her voice wet and hoarse, but she continued on even as her hands fell limply to her sides and she took a single step closer.
“And to make things worse, you didn’t just hurt me, Matty. You hurt Teddy too.”
Hit them where it hurts.
That was the saying, wasn’t it?
But it only left me feeling all the more sour- gutless. As well as a little stupid, I supposed, wondering if Matty even cared for Teddy at all, or how he had felt the last couple days.
Though I shouldn’t have second guessed it, not when the way Matty’s face immediately paled and then fell proved me wrong. 
Deep down, I knew that he cared. In his own odd way he had always cared. But to know it and to see it were two entirely different things.
And although it was true, that Matty had in fact hurt Teddy. It still felt like a shitty thing to say to him then. But he’d hurt me as well, hadn’t he. And even though I’d been hurting most of my life, Matty being the reason for all that hurt pained me in a way I couldn’t even comprehend. 
“I didn’t-”
I scoffed at his attempted reply, but my heart wasn’t in it, breaking all over again. I wondered how long we could drag this out. If we even would.
“Mean to?” I finished for him, shaking my head stupidly. “I know you didn’t mean to, Matty. Doesn’t change the fact that you still did it.”
His eyes slipped closed just as his lips fell apart, and when he opened them again I was stuck staring into his devastated gaze. 
“If I could take it all back, I would.” He breathed, “I promise you I would.”
I swallowed back my own tears, even as they burned and pricked at my throat and eyes. “But you can’t.”
And it was as simple as that, wasn’t it? He couldn’t ever take it back. 
I don’t want to lose you.
He knew just how to get under my skin, past all that rusted armour of mine.
It was what made this all so much harder. 
“Tell me what to do, Squeaks.” Matty croaked pleadingly, hand reaching out towards me before he looked down at it, blinked, and then let it fall. “I’ll do it, just– tell me.”
What was left that he could do? When it felt like things had so suddenly and so horrifically fallen out from under us.
“I don't know.” I told him honestly, in a barely there whisper, “I just don't know, Matty.”
He stepped even closer then, hand moving to capture my jaw in a determined haste, not restraining himself like he had just moments before. I tried to pull away, titling my chin and looking off to the side as I clenched my teeth, but his thumb was there, luring me back in, forcing me to meet his eye.
“I’m not just gonna give up.” His other hand jumped to cradle my face, a cushion to those heated words. 
I was reluctant in my needless wanting, desperate to be held whilst simultaneously wanting to push him away. So I lifted my hands up to cover his own, unsure of the choice they’d make. To stay, or go.
“It’s not about that, Matty.” I heard myself say pathetically, voice wavering with each word, “You can’t just forget this.”
His dark eyes were trained on me, flickering over every square inch of my scarred face. I’d never felt insecure about them when I was around him, but this moment felt too heated, too high strung. And I’d been burning the candle at both ends the last few days, so with him being this close, this intense, every emotion I’d felt was brimming closer and closer to the surface. 
Instead of facing him, I turned away, hiding once more as I worked my jaw and felt my hands slip down to the backs of his forearms.
A shared breath and then,
“Don’t do that.” Matty whispered in the quiet, almost begging. “Don’t hide from me.”
His thumb smoothed over the skin of my cheek and I was all but putty in hands, looking back at him just as a tear escaped me and slid to meet the pad of it. 
Matty brushed the tear away without thought, before he leant in to rest his forehead against my own. The action forced me to cling tighter to his arms, eyes closing to keep from embarrassing myself any further. I wouldn’t cry. 
I wouldn’t cry.
“Look at me.” He demanded, nose so close that I could practically sense its phantom touch. And foolishly, I did as he asked. “You-” His breath stuttered as his eyes pleaded with me, sounding forced as it broke free from him, his fingers making a home for themselves in my hair. 
“You don’t know what you do to me. How much of a mess I’ve made of myself. How much I have missed you.” Matty confessed, his voice quiet in the small space shared between us, in a place where we were both sheltered and unseen. “And I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Enough that I’ll keep on repeating it until you fucking believe me. Enough that I’d do just about anything for you to see how much I want this.”
He sucked in a breath, and I blinked back at him, lips tingling with the sensation of his proximity. 
“I know I messed up. I know.” He repeated, eyes flickering back and forth between my own whilst his thumbs trailed the line of my hair. “But all I’m asking for is a chance to make it right. To be better. Squeaks, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could.”
His breath was tickling the skin of my cheek as well as the corner of my mouth, it almost made it difficult to think let alone remember how to breathe. I wanted–
Suddenly my eyes were looking down, focused on his parted mouth, on the stubble he’d let grow across the cut of his chin as well as his upper lip. His nose finally brushed past my own, touching ever so carefully as one or both of us pressed nearer, almost there, inching closer but not close enough.
“Tell me no.” 
Instantly, I was thrown back to that first night he kissed me. I hadn’t told him no then, and for some reason I couldn’t find it in me to decline him now. 
So instead I took, all but biting as my hand cradled the back of his neck and closed that short amount of distance between us. My nails dug into the exposed skin of his nape, where the collar of his shirt jumped with each move he made. My teeth nipped at his lower lip, angry in my attempt to swallow him whole, teeth clashing as we both stumbled, moving and moving until Matty’s back hit the nearest wall.
How the roles had reversed, I thought to myself as Matty’s shoulders flexed beneath his shirt and jumped under my ever roaming hands. I hated the desire that it stirred through me, knowing how easily he could take back control with his carefully contained strength. But he didn’t, instead he gave my fury something to latch onto.
My hand lifted to pin one of his wrists somewhere to the left of his head, glare not wavering even as his stubborn gaze met my own. He was as riled up as me.
“You have some nerve.” I all but spat, watching on as his chest rose and fell, questioning how quickly everything had switched.
“Yeah?” Matty bit back, those familiar brown eyes- a colour that had always brought me comfort- were blazing now as they trailed over the flush that I was sure lined my face. “Why’s that? You’re the one with me pinned, darlin’.” 
His heavy gaze traced the bow of my lip, slumping ever slightly in his stance so that his head could fall closer forward. My breath hitched.
That was all he needed apparently, to earn the upper hand here. Because in a moment, the room was spinning and then I was the one being crowded against the wall, fury be damned.
Contrary to my previous endeavour, Matty’s touch was still as careful as ever, making it that much more obvious that I could slip away if I so wanted. But the question was whether or not I did.
“Matty–”
But he just carried on, as though he hadn’t even heard me speak, voice a low breathy murmur. 
“I’ve been stuck in this endless loop. Driving myself mad.” He told me, his knee angled enough so that he could let his head dip towards the juncture of my neck, his mouth pausing by the shell of my ear whilst a finger gently trailed its way up over my hip. “Wonderin’ if I’d lost this for good.”
My heart pounded in my chest as the ghost of his words tickled my skin, tensing when his nose ever so slightly grazed my jaw. 
That finger of his continued to move, working its way up my torso, jumping across my ribs and up to the bone of my collar. My gaze was fixed on the opposing wall, on the mirror that framed my dazed face and the back of his head. My hand worked its way into his unruly curls.
“But you’re as stubborn as me, see.” Matty added, luring me in, “And I’m not the type to give up on a sure thing.” His words held enough bite that I snapped back to meet his stare, he tilted his head at me whilst I scowled.
“Excuse me?”
Matty smiled, lids heavy as his careful hand danced its way back down my front. 
“And this,” He said, almost in a whisper, ignoring my retort as he hooked my leg around his waist, “This is a sure thing.”
A soft breath escaped me even as I batted his hand away, but he simply reached up to grip at my chin, touch tender even with the way his calloused thumb dragged down my lower lip.
I was slowly beginning to imagine that this was all a dream, something my sick mind had gone and conjured up in hopes to ignore all of the hurt he had put me through. Because this couldn’t be right, things couldn’t have fallen back into place this easily. 
“Matty.” I tried again, firmer this time, but was captured by the look his eyes held, probably having understood the expression that must have just crossed my face.
“What did you do, Squeaks?” He asked me almost hurriedly, shaking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, my previous anger and doubt melting slightly as I leaned further into his touch. “Did you want me to hurt, too?”
I blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question, his swift change in topic. Baffled by the fact that he was now trying to pin this back on me. 
Was that really what this was? I wanted to ask.
Matty didn’t give me the opportunity to say a thing though. My surprise had stalled me briefly, but it had evidently been long enough to allow him to simply carry on.
“What did you do, eh? Tell me.” He breathed before he pressed his mouth to my jaw, once and then twice, pulling away just as I tilted my head to accommodate him, “Did you go out, baby? Find somebody else? Or did you just stay here, waiting for me?”
I reeled back, anger spiking again. “Fuck you.”
Matty’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine. 
“I’m trying to get you to.” He said, always so brazen and snarky, even in the moments where I hated him most. The hand I had previously slapped away went back to the leg he still had draped over his hip, snaking up over my knee and to my thigh. 
My glare didn’t waiver, even as my breathing picked up at the pressure his fingertips wrought on my skin. 
“Tell me no.” He finally repeated, eyes failing to meet mine. And how was I supposed to? When having him this close brought back that fire he’d put out in me, when he was kissing my neck so sweetly?
“We’ll regret it.” It was as close to a no as I could get, enough to have him pause. Matty looked to me then, his hold loosening on my body but still holding. Hoping.
“Do you care?”
I marvelled at the question, did I care?
I cared so much it pained me.
But he hadn’t meant it like that. That much I knew.
Do you care if you regret it? Because, what if you don’t? 
With Matty there was always chance– he was the type to play the odds, to push his luck.
What if.
What if, what if, what if?
Shaking my head, I was forced to question if he understood me as much as I did him. If he could see each of my thoughts just as they dawned on me, flashing across my face like a story being told. 
Then I wondered whether or not I even wanted him to understand. This, this thing we were doing would only further complicate things between us, but perhaps this could be a goodbye.
But, if this was a goodbye, why was he looking at me like that? Watching and waiting for me to truly answer.
Tell me no, he’d said.
Matty’s gaze swept over my face, as though trying to read me, maybe in hopes to find what it was he was really searching for. 
Tell me no.
“Please.”
And my resolve broke at the word.
“Okay.” I heard myself say in reply, nodding quickly, and that was seemingly all the permission he needed before Matty was wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him fully.
My hands floundered momentarily before they were back on his shoulders, his teeth nipping at my neck. 
I moaned, eyes falling shut as he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down my skin, teeth scraping before his tongue swirled to soothe their angry ambush. I could smell him everywhere now, the shampoo I was so used to stealing, as well as the only aftershave he’d ever claimed to like.
His hips rolled into mine, pressing himself right against the fabric of my trousers and the underwear which had grown damp during our heated argument. 
I didn’t want to linger too long on the thought of my body’s obvious betrayal, too caught up in him to think about how wrong this should all feel.
“Shit.” Matty groaned, breath catching with it as he continued to grind against me.
I gasped back, grabbing at him harder as he bit down on the curve of my neck. I nipped at his jaw in retaliation, nails digging into the skin of his back, hoping to leave a mark.
“I knew you’d miss me.” He grunted into the base of my throat, the hands which held my waist dipping beneath the hem of my shirt to explore further. “Even when you’re angry you’ll wait. ‘Cause no one else can touch like me.”
A whine bypassed my lips almost involuntarily as he continued to rut against me, I wanted to be angry- no, in fact, I was angry. But all emotion other than want was blurring at the edges of my mind now, being pushed further and further back by each eager kiss he peppered along my jaw.
“You really–” I jerked in surprise, cutting myself off with a short gasp when his hand slipped past the hem of my trousers, fingers pressing against the damp fabric he found there. 
“What was that?” He provoked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice as he trailed over my covered clit, causing me to whimper before I was biting down on my lower lip. Matty didn’t like that much. “Come on, I wanna hear you.” He muttered, pressing a little harder, wanting a reaction. “Tell me.”
“You’re such a bastard.” I panted, head falling against his shoulder as my hips pushed further into his touch, seeking more.
Matty laughed, all breathy and lovely, mouth catching on the lobe of my ear before he hissed, “Yeah, but you like that about me.”
His hand was gone with that and I was almost tempted to ask, to even plead with him for its return, aching all the more now, enough that all I could think about was riding his fingers until I couldn’t think at all. 
But then Matty was grabbing my waist again, his grip hard, firm, and I swallowed when he whispered into my ear once more.
“Jump.”
Without thinking, I jumped. 
We collided, his mouth on mine and the two of us moving as though it was second nature. And in a way, it was. But it shouldn’t have been. I knew that. I tried to remind myself of it. 
He shouldn’t be here.
But he was. Walking his way through my flat with ease, effortlessly missing each sharp corner and the miniscule step which led back into the hallway. He was blind, my hands in his hair as he manoeuvred us into my bedroom, throwing me down onto sheets that he’d never seen, let alone slept in. 
I tugged him down with me, his hands moving to unbutton those fucking jeans he always wore as he worked his way back into my mouth. 
He hovered over me after kicking them off, my head pressed to the pillows as his eyes roamed every inch of my face. “Beautiful.” He whispered, as though he hadn’t really meant to say the word aloud.
My breath hitched anyway but Matty paid it no mind, leaning in closer to kiss me again, slower this time around, though his hands were still quick, tugging at the hem of my top enough so that I got the hint. I lifted myself up, breaking away to take it off and toss it to the side. 
Matty kissed his way down my neck again, following the trail of scars down my torso until his fingers paused to hook around the top of my trousers. I nodded at his silent ask, planting my feet a little firmer on the mattress so that they could follow my tee.
Matty stopped then, kneeling between my parted thighs, eyes caught on the panties I was wearing, and I could swear something in his gaze shifted as he stared down at me. 
“Lace?” He murmured, fingers curling around my thighs tight enough to bruise as he pushed forward, closer to my face. “Really?”
It was a loaded question. Almost felt like an accusation.
I shrugged– I hadn’t meant to end up here, but it hadn’t been subconscious when I’d picked them out of the pile this morning. He liked the way they looked, had told me so one night spent at his when he’d talked me into smoking a couple joints with him sprawled out on his living room floor. 
I opened my mouth to reply but Matty didn’t quite catch the motion, already busying himself with the task of pulling the lace down my thighs. His fingers, calloused from years of playing guitar, dragged alongside the black material rolling down my legs. I tensed at the feeling, zeroing in on the slow motion, then listened to him groan at the sight before they were gone completely.
I watched him pull away, balling the damp fabric up in a fist before leaning over the side of the bed to drop them on top of his jeans. 
“A souvenir?” I couldn’t help but question, mostly out of mirth, but humour helped deflect from the weight I felt at having him here.
Matty hummed, fingers already back on me, trailing the length of my right leg before he was stretching his way back up again, head stopping between my parted thighs and nosing at a crease sat at the very top. He didn’t answer me though, instead choosing to shut me up with another gasp by dragging his thumb across my folds.
“Matty.”
“Hm?” He hummed again, having sat back on his heels to watch me squirm as he continued on. I shot him a rather annoyed glare.
“Take off your shirt and fuck me.” 
His brows rose languidly when he flicked his eyes back up to meet mine, then tilted his head. “But I’m having so much fun.”
With a swift kick to his side, Matty’s hand fell away and he shook his head around the beginnings of a smile. “Always so demanding.” He tutted and before I could spit something back– probably about him being the biggest hypocrite I knew– he was placing his hands either side of my head and leaning forward so that his lips were right beside my ear, his breath fanning the shell of it. “You gonna beg for it?”
My breathing grew heavy as I watched him pull away, dragging a finger up the inside of my thigh before stilling ever so briefly and venturing on, up over my hip and then my ribs. He pressed a slow kiss to my chest, eyes flicking up to find mine as his tongue swirled over the skin, there and then gone.
“Come on–”
He huffed a quiet laugh, the force of it lighting goosebumps over my exposed flesh. “Come on, baby. Beg.”
I rolled my eyes, reaching up to grab at his neck but he was already dancing out of my reach. He jutted his chin. 
“Matty.” I huffed.
“Yeah?”
I really wanted to throttle him, “Fuck me. I’m not asking.”
The corner of his mouth tugged itself up into a small smirk, “Good enough.”
A disbelieving chuckle escaped me, one which was quickly cut short by his wandering hands finding purchase on my hips once more, before he dragged me down the length of the bed, his mouth finding purchase on the swell of my breast.
He pressed fast kisses along the curve of it until his tongue flicked out over the nipple, causing me to gasp. My hands flew out to tangle themselves in his hair when he lapped it into his mouth to suck and I groaned at the weight of his hands cradling the curve of my back. 
“Matty.”
He hummed and the sound sent vibrations rippling out across my skin, I fisted my hands into his curls harder.
Shifting until my hips found his whilst he lavished at my chest, I pressed up into him, both annoyed by the fact he was still clad in his boxers and pleased by the very visible wet patch I could see. I ground against him and the sensation elicited moans from the pair of us, his hands flying down to hold my hips steady.
“Patience.” He murmured, but I was having none of it, lifting a leg against his arse to spur him closer. Matty’s head jerked up at the surprise before he looked down at me and stared. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“You better hope not.” I replied, hands finding the hem of his shirt and dragging it off before he could fight me on it. “I’ll make it painful.”
“Counting on it.” Matty murmured back, hair now a mess, either from the clutch I’d had on it moments before or from the way I’d all but yanked his top over his head. “On all fours,” He said roughly, tapping my outer thigh twice. My already flushed skin heated further at the understanding of how he wanted to take me but– contrary to popular belief– I didn’t argue and rolled onto my stomach.
Palms to the sheets, I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, eyes trained on the headboard. I grinned to myself when I heard Matty groan at the sight, looking back over my shoulder only briefly to see him palming himself through his boxers.
“Don’t have all day, Healy.” I prompted after a moment passed, just before the mattress shifted beneath his weight. I heard something drop to the floor a second later before he was right up behind me.
I jolted a tad at his sudden touch, then was forced to focus on the way his hands slid over my hips with that same familiarity they’d always done, moving up to the swell of my arse to squeeze it before dropping back down to spread my legs further apart.
A moment passed and I was forced to wait in the silence he then gifted me, waiting and waiting until I finally went to say something. It was then that I felt a finger glide down my spine, dragging ever so slowly over my jumping muscles. 
“Hands,” Matty then reminded and I was forced to blink away the haze I had drifted into, reaching up to grab onto the headboard just as I felt him swipe his dick between my thighs, guiding himself up over my folds, pushing past them so he rested at my entrance. 
I let go of a rush of air, splaying my hands further against the headboard before he slammed into me without any warning at all, all the way up to the hilt whilst I cried out at the sudden fullness. “Fuck.” I hissed, head falling between my shoulders as I winced. 
I breathed through the bit of pain that came with the thrust, acknowledging that Matty didn’t move an inch and instead keeping still, hands holding my hips even as he leaned over to whisper, “You good?”
His voice was surprisingly soft in the quietness that encased the flat, reminding me of other times we’d spent here, both like this and in other odd moments. It made my chest ache.
I took another moment to adjust to him before I nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
He hummed in turn but didn’t question it, just waited, thumbs circling the skin on my hips for a moment in a manner so gentle and yet so very Matty, before finally, he moved. 
His thrusts were shallow and slow at first, his thumbs keeping the same steady tempo as they continued to soothe the tops of my hips. I moaned at the feel of him, before I managed to roll my hips back to meet his own, enjoying the sound that escaped him.
“So good.” He said, hand sliding further up my side and towards my ribs before I was titling my head back and Matty was holding a fistful of my hair. He just held it for a bit, forearm pressed against the skin of my back before his thrusts began to grow harder, tugging more and more.
The room was quickly filled with the sounds of our groans along with the bedframe rocking against the wall and I praised all the Gods above for the fact that there were currently no neighbours residing in the flat beyond it, before I was quickly swept up once more in the thick scent of sweat and sex. Matty fucking into me with a desperation I’d never quite experienced from him before.
I panted beneath him, nails digging into the wood of my headboard whilst he picked up the pace.
I couldn’t quite focus on anything but him. His breathy whispers, his fingertips which dotted my skin, the feel of him rocking in and out of me. It was almost as though nothing else existed but this moment, even if I knew it would soon end. His thrusts getting sloppier, his grip tightening, his murmured praises increasing by a tenfold. 
“Come on, baby.”
I liked when he called me that.
Made me feel special. 
But that thought soon soured. Because, was I really? 
How could I be anything special when my whole life I’d been nothing but a doormat for people to walk all over? I couldn’t help but think that Matty would be the same, like he’d gotten too close and finally seen what everybody else already had.
“Squeaks, baby. What do you need?”
I whimpered at his ask, tears collecting in the corners of my eyes. “I–”
What the fuck did I need? It wasn’t meant to feel so loaded, that question. But it felt as though the walls were now closing in. Because was this it? Was this the end?
“I–” I tried, feeling Matty’s fingers slip from the ends of my hair before a gentle palm laid itself flat on the small of my back.
“So good for me.” I heard him say and I moaned at the slight praise, breathing harder as he continued to mumble mostly to himself, “So pretty. So good.”
I was almost there, back arching under his palm as the other moved away from the right grasp it held on my hip, fingers finally finding my clit, knowing exactly what I needed.
“Yes.” I panted as the combination of his hard thrusts and steady hand sent my head into a dizzying pool of water, “God, yes. I–”
I think I screamed as I came, his fingers working deftly whilst mine clung to the headboard, body trembling as I fought to keep myself up. But Matty was there, holding me long enough so that he could reach his high and pull out with a loud grunt, coating my inner thighs. 
We stayed there for, I don’t know how long, until he finally released me, falling away whilst I slumped forward onto the pillows before us. He followed a second later, still catching his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. I watched him, eyes hidden behind my forearm and a sprawl of hair that had fallen over my face, content to soak in what I could of him. What I had left.
Then Matty shifted beside me, I half expected him to get up and leave with some half-arsed excuse on the tip of his tongue, but he paused when he caught my heavy gaze. I let my eyes trail over the side of face, on the tired circles settled beneath his lash line and the slope of his nose.
He looked back towards the ceiling.
“You got your souvenir, remember?” I found myself saying, stupidly, voice just above a croaked murmur, “Don’t let me keep you.”
Quiet. And then, “Do you want me to?”
I knew what he meant, but still I asked, “Want what?”
Matty’s head slowly turned towards me, eyes guarded and peering over at my devastated form. I wondered what he made of me right then, if he thought anything at all. 
When he offered me no words, I refused to add anything either and felt what was left of my heart crumple up into a pitiful bundle when he pushed himself to the edge of a bed with a barely there sigh.
The air in my lungs caught as I watched and waited, eyes trailing after him as he rounded the bed frame to pick up his discarded boxers. I let them slip closed again, not wanting to watch him leave. 
I listened to his feet pad across the hardwood floors and out of the room. My chest ached with every step but I didn’t dare stop him, burying my face further into my pillow. 
I laid in wait for the front door to open, for there to be a clue to his evident departure, but then the footsteps returned. I didn’t dare give myself false hope, knowing he must have forgotten something to have come back. But the padding continued, closer and closer until they were back by the bed and I held my breath as it creaked, my eyes stinging just as I felt a warm damp cloth press against my inner thighs, wiping me clean.
I choked on the sob that wanted to escape me and the cloth paused for a split second before venturing on. I waited, wondering why he was doing this, why he was dragging it out.
Just leave already.
But then the cloth was pulling away again, and the bed was creaking again, and the tears, they wouldn’t stop. 
Stay. 
Please just stay.
I gasped into the pillowcase, stomach tensing with the strength to keep quiet. To let him leave quietly. 
I wouldn’t cry.
And then there was quiet, at least for a moment or two, before the bed dipped once more and there was a hand in my hair, combing the strands from out of my face and tucking them behind my ear.
When I opened my eyes, he was still there. Dressed and ready to go, but still sitting there beside me. Whilst I laid bare, curled up into a ball to better protect myself from his knowing gaze.
Suddenly everything hurt. Suddenly I felt exhausted and was falling apart at the seams.
Matty moved carefully, stretching toward the foot of the bed before returning with the sheet to cover me up, laying it gently over my trembling shoulders. He leaned in to press a slow kiss to my forehead and then went to move away again.
My hand caught his wrist.
And then I was flat out sobbing. Hysterical even. Crying into the pillow almost soundlessly as I gasped to try and catch my breath. Because I wanted him to stay. I needed him to stay.
Not just for me. But for Teddy. And for the life he brought into my dreary flat. To the kindness he never failed to gift me.
I needed him to stay.
I needed him.
I opened my mouth to ask, to let him know. But I could hardly even bear to look at him, blurred as he was through my onslaught of tears, Matty still held the key to all but destroying what little I had left.
His hand returned to my hair, fingers tangling themselves in it, a sudden contrast to the rough grip they’d held there earlier. And then he settled further onto the bed, back pressed against the headboard whilst he continued to run his fingers through my hair.
The tears still flowed but the sobs came less and less, until I was blinking at his shadowed figure in the dark, holding out hope that somehow he’d just know and he’d stay. 
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virginsexgod69 · 1 day
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Idk why, but I've really been loving the idea of Daryl proposing to reader recently. Like, he was just gonna pop the question in the confines of their own home, but maybe while on a hunt, the reader successfully tracks down and kills a deer on her own without Daryl's help, and while she's excitedly rambling about the fact that she finally did it on her own, Daryl just looks at her and thinks, "yeah, this is the girl I wanna marry," and then unexpectedly just says "marry me". He pulls a ring out and everything. Fluff all the way!
Thank you so much if you write this, but don't feel pressured to! You don't have to write something you don't want to. I completely understand either way. I appreciate you nonetheless 💜
❝ Marry Me ❞
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pairing Daryl Dixon x F! Reader
cw killing a deer and some walkers
1.7k words
note this was such a cute idea and i loved writing it so much! i hope you like it and it fits the vision you had! =]
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“What’s on your mind, baby?” You asked sleepily, running your fingers through his soft hair as his head rested comfortably on your chest. 
“Nothin’,” he lied. He hated lying to you, but he didn’t know how to go about popping the question. Now would have been a nice time, with two of you cuddled comfortably on the couch in the privacy of your own home. Moments like these were some of his favorites with you and adding the memory of a marriage proposal to them would only make these moments better. But for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wasn’t scared you’d say no, in fact he would have bet his life on you saying yes. Yet, each time, the words kept dying on his tongue and the ring weighed heavily in his pocket. 
“You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” You insisted. He looked up at you sweetly and muttered an ‘I know.’ You gave him a sad smile, wishing he’d tell you what he was thinking, but respecting his decision not to. 
“I love you, Daryl,” you said dreamily. This was it, the perfect segue into a proposal. He sat up properly and felt around in his pockets for the ring. The words were just about to leave his mouth, but the tired yawn that escaped you interrupted him. 
“G’nite,” you muttered as you dozed off. Daryl would never not be amazed at how fast you could go from being wide awake one minute to falling asleep in the next. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and fiddled with the shiny piece of jewelry. It was a small, elegant ring with a fairly thin band and diamond right in the center. Whoever had originally bought it had to have paid a fair amount of money for it, but stuff like that didn’t matter now. Even though you would say yes without a ring, he still wanted to do something nice for you because you deserved it. The weeks of examining the hands of every walker he killed and searching through abandoned cars and buildings all became worth it once he found the perfect ring for you. But somehow, that was the easy part. Finding the right words at the right moment was proving difficult as every minute he wasn’t married to you passed by. He sighed to himself and tucked the ring back into his pocket, disappointed that yet another opportunity slipped by. 
He gently lifted you from the couch, taking extra care not to wake you from your peaceful sleep. He carried you up the stairs and into your shared bedroom before pulling back the comforter and sheets and tucking you in. He slid into the bed beside you and you gravitated toward his warmth like you usually did. He pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Love you, too.” 
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The sun blooming over the horizon created an orangey hue across the clear sky, illuminating the once dark forest. It became easier to see the tracks of the deer you’ve been tracking since dark morning. Hunting wasn’t something you did before the dead started rising, but it quickly became a necessary skill to have and thankfully, you had Daryl to show you the ropes. He even showed you how to use his crossbow once when you joined him on a hunt way back at the prison. That same day you learned that you preferred a hunting rifle. In return, you shared with him the medical knowledge you had from being a paramedic. The quid pro quo relationship you had with the hunter slowly grew into something more deep and meaningful over time. 
Finally, after hours of following the tracks imprinted in the damp earth, you came across a clearing where the doe stood. You aimed the rifle at her, careful not to make any noise and scare her off. Through the scope, you pointed the weapon at the place Daryl taught you to in order to ethically kill it. Just as you were about to press your finger to the trigger, you noticed walkers approaching the doe. Their loud groans and clumsy footsteps spooked her, sending her running into the forest just at the same time you fired your shot. 
“Goddamn walkers!” You cursed. You put the safety on your rifle and hung it on your shoulder by the strap. Unsheathing your knife, you entered the clearing and approached the undead beings. You put them both down once they approached you and cleaned your knife on your jeans before putting it back into its sheath. Red blood contrasting on the green grass caught your eye. It belonged to the doe, meaning your shot actually landed and she could be somewhere wounded, or even dead. Excitement increased your heart rate as you followed her blood trail. This was the closest you’ve come to killing a deer on your own. You’ve managed smaller kills, like squirrels, before, but never a deer! You couldn’t tell if you were more excited about actually killing the deer or seeing Daryl’s reaction, but either way you were giddy. 
After trekking about a half mile in the direction the doe fled, you finally found her lying in the greenery having succumbed to your shot. You were beaming with happiness as you effortlessly picked her up and carried her across your shoulders. You’ve carried people heavier than her out in the field during your paramedic days. 
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Daryl nervously fiddled with the ring as leaned over the railing of the front porch, smoking a cigarette. He hated how hopeless he felt when it came to actually proposing to you. With how long the two of you have been together romantically, the ability to propose should have come to him naturally. He knew there was nothing to be nervous about and that he was just psyching himself out and he should just ask you to marry him already. But every time it felt like the right moment to, that feeling was gone once he started digging around in his pocket for the ring. 
The sight of you walking toward the house with a big smile on your face and a deer draped over your shoulders snapped him from his thoughts. Maybe it was just the sun shining from behind you, but you were absolutely glowing.
“Daryl!” You shouted excitedly as you increased your walk into a small jog. You set the deer down before hurrying up the porch stairs. He put out his cigarette before you excitedly jumped into his arms, embracing him like you haven’t seen him in months. 
“Guess what!” You said as you reluctantly pulled away from the hug. 
“Wha?” Based on the deer laying at the base of the stairs he was sure he could tell what happened, but you looked so happy and he wanted to share your excitement and hear you tell him yourself. 
“I finally killed a deer! All on my own!” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as pride swelled in his chest. He remembered when he took you hunting with him the first time. You were the one who wanted to go with him and "see what he does when he's off to who knows where for who knows how long." When he finally did, you complained about how boring it was and how all you were doing was looking at dirt and not seeing any animals. But now, here you were with a deer you had hunted all on your own. 
"I had been tracking it since way earlier this morning and I almost thought I wasn't gonna catch it but then I saw it in a clearing and so I was gonna shoot it but then walkers got in my way like they usually do, those annoying sons of bitches, and then the deer ran but I had shot at it so then I followed the blood..."
Daryl stared at you in awe as you rambled on about your adventure. The sense of pride and adoration he felt whenever he looked at you, but now especially was overwhelming. You were perfect in every way and he'd be damned if he went another second without being your husband. 
"...and then I found it further in the woods and I was just so excited that I finally caught a whole entire deer all on my own for the v—"  
"Marry me!" he blurted out suddenly. 
"Huh?" You blinked at him in confusion, not sure if you heard him right. As if he suddenly remembered something, he patted all his pockets until he felt the one with the ring in it and pulled it out. The sparkle of the diamond in the sunlight caught your eye. 
"Will ya marry me?" he repeated, this time holding out the ring to you. He lowered himself to one knee, still holding out the ring. Your eyes filled with tears, happy tears, and you held out your left hand to him. 
"Of course!" you said as he slid the ring onto your fourth finger. It fit almost perfectly. As soon as he stood up from his position on the floor, you jumped into his arms. He caught you and held you tight as you peppered kisses all over his face. He set you back down onto your feet and held your face in his big warms hands, wiping away your tears away with his thumbs. 
"I'm so proud of ya fer catchin' that deer all by yerself." The smile that graced his face was contagious. 
"Learned from the best," you said, smiling up at him. He leaned down and you met him halfway in a kiss. 
"Can't wait to skin this deer with my wife," he said once he pulled away from the kiss. 
"Ooh," you exclaimed, giddy at the new title, "Can't wait to eat some venison with my husband!" 
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thanks for reading!
note i've been a pescatarian for 3-ish years now, but I've been wanting wing-stop, so i got some wing-stop and it was great. thanks for listening
Taglist @banquetwriter @eternalrose81 @the-dixon-effect @dilfsandmartinis @millybaby @daryldixmedown @theoraekenslover @aeriean @lesbian-horror-fan @in-this-minute @paintlavillered @zhannamustdie @thegeorgiahuntsman @bigbaldheadname @Lumi362 @lettersfromyourlover-blog @princesssparkel2024 @hayweee @d0p3ys-delusions @xxlaynaxx
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paradiseprincesss · 13 hours
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Ooo I have been loving ALL your fics and your robert fischer one gave me an idea… the reader is a call girl who grew up poor, he hires us and after a while slowly falls in love with her and feels guilty and happy ending for both of my sad babies🥹
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pov - robert fischer x reader
hi anon! I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG but i love this - robert fischer will always be a soft character in my mind, i feel like he's just...like that. i just feel like he's a sad and lonely guy with the sweetest heart - i need a robert fischer in my life fr.
summary: as a call girl, your life was chaotic. ever since you were a little girl you had struggled with both self acceptance and self love, but you suddenly meet a client who changes your perspective of everything you thought you knew.
warnings: smut 18+ minors dni!!, oral (fem!receiving), p in v, kissing, swearing, mentions of toxic household, daddy issues, mentions of escorting/prostitution lol
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…to be loved is to be changed.
you never know when you'll meet the one that changes everything - fate is funny that way. you don't know when they'll show up in your life, maybe you already know them, maybe you don't.
"god, you have no idea what it's like for me! i was struggling to pay my tuition. i'm doing what i have to do to get by, mom!" you scream, tears streaming down your face.
"then go get a job," she yelled back at you, "being some old mans escort is not a real job!"
"i'm- jesus, i'm a call girl it's- it's just different, okay? and it pays well. i can't continue to pay for college if i don't do this. you know a regular job doesn't pay shit." you say, your hands trembling as you argued with your mom.
the one figure in your life that was supposed to show you unconditional love wasn't there for you; but you didn't hold any animosity towards her. she was struggling as much as you were. did.
not anymore.
you hated this - fighting and arguing with her. it hurt you deeply. but, you did what you had to do to get by. your father wasn't in the picture, and your mother worked two jobs but that was barely enough to make ends meet.
your whole childhood was tumultuous, you grew up in a home with a single parent, the other one gone without a trace. you didn't know love growing up, and honestly, it fucked up your perception of the world - of the word love.
you put your all into school; it was the only thing that distracted you from your home life, and you were good at it. you managed to get pretty good grades in high school, no less than an A- in any subject you took, and post-graduation, you got into a pretty good college in your area.
you had moved out the day you turned eighteen, eager and excited to go out and blossom in life; but reality hit you, hard.
rent was expensive, and paying for college? god, that was a struggle in itself. you worked the odd job here and there, whether it was a cashier job or waitressing job, but neither paid enough. you did a little online research and came across escorting. the only thing that really enticed you was the paycheque - and my goodness was it a hefty one.
you kept this life of yours a secret - but you told your mom the truth earlier when she came by to visit you. she was surprised to see the apartment you were living in; decked out and lavish. she'd asked you where you had gotten the money to pay for this from, and you told her what you were doing.
turns out your mother wasn't too happy about her daughter being a glorified escort, and after arguing with you, she slammed the door in your face, which left you a sobbing mess.
but at least you had money now, right?
after scoring a position with a lucrative company which you couldn't disclose for...certain reasons, you received your first job. then you booked another, and another, and soon, you were a top money maker there.
with a face like that and the body you had - you were not short on cash, let's just say that. you were getting paid thousands just to make appearances with rich men - and getting paid tens of thousands to sleep with them.
as much as you loved the cash, you were miserable on the inside. money got boring after a while, it was just another part of your unexciting, depressing, melancholy life.
diamonds and designer bags couldn't fix the hole in your heart, they couldn't fix the emptiness that lingered within you.
if there was someone who understood this feeling better than anyone else - it was robert fischer.
sure, he never grew up poor or struggled to have money, but he knew damn well that money couldn't solve all your problems. in fact, having a lot of money came with more problems, he thought.
robert didn't know love - it was unfamiliar to him. none of his ex-girlfriends loved him, they just loved his money. they didn't care about him, they just cared about cashing in.
and every time he broke it off with them, they would tell him "don't leave, i miss you" - but he knew better than that. they didn't miss shit but the money, designer bags, and the lavish lifestyle.
after a particularly agonizing day at work, robert came home to his penthouse; head clouded with stress. honestly, it had been months since he had sex - been forever since he just felt loved or had any form of intimacy.
he craved it real bad.
so, he sighed as he dialled the number on his phone, waiting as the line rung quietly. quickly, someone answered and he put in his request - "i'll give you fifteen grand to send over your best girl," was all he said over the phone, quickly giving his address over afterwards.
and that is the story of how you ended up as robert fischers personal call girl - but that was just the beginning.
when you first met robert, you were pleasantly surprised. usually, your clientele consisted of old, rich men who were (at least in your opinion) disgusting. however, robert on the other hand was handsome, young, kind and rich on top of all that.
he was your best client thus far, and you were his favourite girl - not that he had any other girls, anyway. he paid you way more than any other man did, and he tipped generously on top of that.
soon enough, you were only seeing robert - exclusively. for work reasons of course. and he tried to tell himself that, too. that this was just sex. it didn't mean anything, right?
wrong.
he pushed you down onto the bed gently, running his hands all over your body while his lips caught yours in a deep kiss. today, you were waiting for him in his penthouse wearing a baby pink, lacy babydoll with matching pink panties and some stockings.
robert damn near lost his mind when he saw you in your lingerie, his cock was straining against his pants the second he laid eyes on you - sprawled out on his bed, biting your lip teasingly.
"fuck, i love you in pink." he groaned against your lips - but what he was really trying to tell you was "i love you."
he positioned you so that you were now sat up against the headboard of his bed, propped up against the plush pillows looking like a princess. slowly, he took his hand up to your thigh, blue eyes still locked with yours, and teasingly started to take your stockings off. he did it excruciatingly slow with the other one, too.
once your stockings were off, he looked at you with admiration. he truly thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. ethereal. "can i?" he asked softly, his hands now trailing down your inner thighs, dangerously close to your clothed heat.
"m-mhm." you hum with a small nod, trying not to lose your mind. keeping your composure around him was proving to become more and more difficult every time.
he hooked his finger into the waistband of the tiny, lacy, pink thong and pulled it down your legs, groaning softly at the sight of your cunt all soaked for him.
"you're soaked. i can see it." he said lowly, and it takes every fucking ounce of self restraint you have in your body not to moan at the way he says it.
"y-yeah. s'cause of you, robbie." you say softly as he spreads your legs open, his mouth watering at the sight. he peppered kisses onto the insides of your thighs, teasingly kissing everywhere except where you so desperately needed him to kiss you.
"please." you whisper, and that was all he needed to hear before he was lapping up your pretty pussy. he licked a stripe up your cunt and you let out a desperate moan at the feeling of his mouth on you.
he continued to eat you out as if it was the last thing he'd ever do, making your head spin. you were moaning his name over and over, begging him to let you cum on his face as he sucked on your clit.
he took one of his fingers and slowly started to pump it in and out of your soaking hole. "oh fuck, i-i need you inside of me." you pleaded, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to release.
"only if you cum on my tongue, baby." he says between your legs, and you started to gasp and moan as you felt your orgasm approach you at full speed.
"i'm- gonna cum!" you desperately cry, feeling yourself cream all over his face as he took every last drop of it.
he sat up wiping his mouth and chin, glistening with your slick, and smiled at you dopily - he was in heaven.
“lay back on the bed for me, princess.” he commanded softly, and you oblige immediately. as you find comfort within the huge, king-sized bed and soft pillows, he unbuttoned his white dress shirt and undid his tie, taking it off while you watched like a predator stalking its prey.
next came his slacks, which he was rushing to get out of. as his cock sprung free from his boxers, your body felt like it was going into overdrive. robert got between your legs and took hold of your hips before lining his cock up with your drooling entrance.
slowly, he pushed in and the both of you let out sinful sounds. sex never had any meaning for you - it was just your profession, you didn’t know any different. but when he was inside you, when you let him into you - things felt...different.
robert was in way too deep to get out now (both figuratively and literally), and he slowly started to thrust himself in and out of you at a slow pace. one thing you noticed about robert, especially when you guys were fucking, was that he never broke eye contact.
nobody had ever fucked you so sensually before, let alone with such care. he fucked into you gently, the both of you moaning and breathing heavily, and he got lost in your pretty eyes.
he loved you - and he knew it was wrong.
it was the one thing you shouldn’t do when hiring a call girl - fall in love with her. he knew he shouldn’t fall in love with a woman who’s literal job was to pretend that she loved you and fuck you right, but he couldn’t help it.
robert - like you - didn’t know what love was until he felt you. until he knew you.
“f-fuck, faster robbie.” you whispered, breathless and feeling almost out of touch with reality with how good he felt inside you - it was like he was made for you.
“god, you’re so fucking tight. you- ugh, you feel so good, baby.” robert moaned, and you could almost hear the desperation in his voice. “i’m already about to cum, jesus-“ he stammered, voice strained.
“then cum, ah-.” you urged, wrapping your arms around him in a way that was a little too intimate for it to just be part of your job.
“how much extra do you want, ten grand?” he panted as he fucked your pretty pussy, feeling you tighten up around his hard cock.
“wha- robbie, what?” you try to talk properly through the pleasure he was bringing you; it was overwhelming. you weren’t sure why he was bringing up payments and money now of all times, this had been discussed already at the beginning of…whatever this agreement was.
“how much to make you mine? please - i love you.” he said, losing himself in the feeling of you.
you felt your mouth go dry as the words fell from his lips, and in a panic you struggle from underneath him, trying your hardest to push him away.
“wait- wait, stop-“ you say all flustered and panicked. this wasn’t supposed to happen - this should never happen between you and your clients.
he stops as soon as you say the word, and you backup into the the headboard of the bed anxiously, grabbing the blankets to cover yourself up as soon as he had pulled out.
you had never known love before, so when you heard those words, it sent you into an abysmal spiral.
“i-i’m sorry, i just-“ he stammered, the two of you looking each other awkwardly, and robert felt his heart break in two silently.
“don’t apologize, it’s my fault.” you sigh, looking down.
“no, cmon- i shouldn’t have said that.” he said back, and you glanced at him for a second - he looked like he was hurting. like it physically hurt him to tell hear you turn him down in a sense.
you felt a tear run down your cheek, and you wiped it away, already embarrassed enough. this had never happened in front of a client before.
was robert just a client, though?
before you had a chance to answer your own question, robert answered it for you. he took his hand out, gentle and soft, and wiped the tears away from your cheek.
“what’s going on?” he spoke softly, and you just shook your head, avoiding all eye contact.
“i- please, i’m so embarrassed. i’m sorry. you don’t need to pay me for today.” you whisper.
he shakes his head, and grabs a robe that he had draped over the ottoman in front of his bed, and quickly threw it on. you stayed with the covers pulled up over your chest and the rest of your body, watching him carefully.
he approaches you cautiously, and without another word he pulls you into his embrace - warm and inviting, just like him.
it felt like the missing piece in your chaotic, incomplete puzzle that you called your life.
words failed you in that moment, but it felt foreign. the feeling of being loved, being comforted, being vulnerable was new to you. you didn’t know such feelings could exist - at least, you grew up thinking that anyway.
"i'm really sorry, i shouldn't have said that." he said softly, petting your hair gently. "no, it's- fine. i-i don't know why i reacted like that." you reassured him, not quite knowing the reason behind your erratic behaviour.
"we don't have to continue, okay?" he reassures you in a soothing tone, and you let yourself fall into the feeling of his touch and embrace for a moment too long, before coming to your senses.
"t-thank you," you mumble, "i just don't think i'm in a good head space right now."
"and that's okay." he reassures you once again - he was really good at that. "why don't we just end todays session and i'll see you again next week, same time?"
"yeah, okay. i'm sorry, robbie." you murmur, and robert could feel his heart beating rapidly as you said his name like that - the name you called him.
after that, you had left in a rush (and felt super unprofessional about it), profusely apologizing for what had happened but he kept telling you that it was okay.
once you got back to your place, you ran a hot shower for yourself to collect your thoughts and calm yourself down. after that, you got into bed and fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the day you had.
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the next morning, you woke up feeling groggy, and frankly - still super embarrassed from yesterday. cringing at your own actions, you felt like you just wanted to curl up into a ball and never show your face again.
why did you react like that? why did you have to make a scene? why did robert's confession throw you off so badly?
deep down, you knew the answers to these questions.
you reacted like that because you grew up around constant chaos and poverty, you didn't know what it was like to be cared for, to be loved. you made a scene because for someone who's never known love, facing the unknown was terrifying.
but why did robert's confession throw you off? why?
you sat there in bed, wondering. wondering to yourself why he would want you of all people - some call girl he ordered because he was bored. why wasn't he with some other girl who had come from money like him? come from class? why would he chose you?
in that moment, it went right over your head, but his confession threw you off because you didn't feel worthy. you didn't know how to trust - you couldn't see yourself the way robert saw you, after all.
suddenly, you heard your phone buzz beside you. looking a the notification, you found yourself shocked. you had received an e-transfer from robert of double the normal amount he was paying you.
your jaw dropped and you had to re-read the numbers in your account to really make sure this was real. in a state of shock, you look through your contacts and give him a call in the spur of the moment.
"hello?" his slightly raspy morning voice answered, and you felt your heart do a little flip at the sound of it - but you pushed it aside.
"hey, robert, it's me," you say, taking in a breath, "i...you didn't have to pay me, i told you."
he sighed on the other line, "no, i shouldn't have...told you what i did. i'm sorry, i...i've been thinking about it."
you stayed silent, unsure of what to say next, but he continued talking regardless. "can we talk? i'll pay you for your time."
"you don't have to do that, robert. and yes, yeah let's, um, talk." you say to him, and the two of you arrange to meet at his at three.
you get yourself ready, doing your hair in your favourite hair style and your makeup all glamorous, throwing on your favourite saint laurent heels with a matching satin mini dress.
you rush out the door, and hopped into your car, speeding off to his place. usually, he would send a driver out to yours, but you were off the clock. he insisted over the phone, but you urged him that you could drive and it was fine.
as soon as you got to the building of his penthouse, he buzzed you in and you made your way up the elevator. after knocking on the door, he opened it with a small smile on his face. he was wearing the usual - suit and tie, of course.
as he welcomed you in, he told you about the meeting he had at his office earlier that day - hence the whole suit and tie getup.
"anyways, i'm sure i'm boring you with the details about my work meeting." he says, laughing softly and you smile. "not at all, it's refreshing to hear you talk about other parts of your life besides...you know, the usual stuff we talk about."
he smiled back at you, but it seemed he was having trouble getting his words out - he didn't know how to tell you what he wanted to tell you.
"er, please know that, fuck- i just, i didn't mean to scare you away with what i said." he stammered, clearly flustered.
"...what did you mean, robert?" you ask meekly, avoiding eye contact. he slowly steps a little closer, closing the gap between the two of you.
"i have feelings for you." he says, voice strained out of sheer nervousness.
"don't say that," you sigh, "this- us, it isn't real. it's just like, playing pretend."
you so desperately wanted to say, "me too, i fell for you too," but your insecurities stopped you. even though you worked in a profession where you were paid to be pretty, paid to look good as arm candy, you felt inadequate all the time. you didn't feel pretty - you felt indifferent. sometimes, you didn't even know who you were.
there was a lot of baggage that came with you, but it was nothing that would ever scare robert off.
"i know what it's like to 'play pretend,'" he said, emphasizing his words with air quotations, "i've done that for the last ten years of my life - with every woman i've ever dated. they pretended to like me for me and not my money, and i pretended that i didn't see what they were really doing."
"you're literally paying me to sleep with you, robert. this is transactional." you say, trying to convince yourself into thinking that was the truth.
"god- it's not. it's not, you know it, i know it. we both know it." he exasperates, and you look away again as he continues. "i can feel it in the way you touch me, the way you look at me, the way you say my name, i can tell. and i know you can tell by the way i hold you, talk to you - the way i don't want anyone else but you."
as he confessed, you felt your cheeks go pink. you didn't realize that he was this much of a romantic - it was kinda cute. it was obvious that he was so serious about this, but you on the other hand...
you weren't too convinced. you had never received such attention, such care or such...love before.
"why are you lying to yourself?" his voice snapped you out of your anxious thoughts, and you finally found the courage to meet his gaze.
trying your hardest not to get lost in his ocean eyes, you manage to get a response out. "i-i don't know. i guess i just don't understand it. i don't understand how you could like, fall in love with someone who does...what i do."
he sighed softly, tilting your chin up with his finger, forcing you to meet his gaze once again. "let me help you understand, then."
one second you were trying to deny every lovey-dovey feeling you had for him - and the next his lips were on yours. it just happened so naturally.
in that moment, you could feel every insecurity, every anxious thought, every piece of pent up trauma and trust issues subside with him.
he wrapped his arms around your waist lovingly, holding you in his embrace as he kissed you softly.
you were off the clock, and so was he. neither of you were your personas anymore. you weren't just some call girl anymore (not that he ever saw you as just that), and he wasn't robert fischer of fischer morrow right now - he was just yours.
you were the first to pull away from the kiss, and you looked up at him with a small smile, which he returned.
"you have no idea how much i care about you." he whispered softly, "i wish you could see yourself in the way that i see you."
his words struck a chord for sure, and you felt yourself getting teary eyed again. "jesus, robert - stop making me cry." you laugh softly, trying to hold back the tears.
"i want to know who you are - not the usual work stuff. tell me about your life." he said softly, keeping you close.
and so you did - you did exactly that. that evening, you had spent the whole time getting to really know each other. from childhood memories to what you ate for breakfast that day - no parts left out. he told you about himself too, and finally, you felt safe.
you finally felt like the years of walls you had built up were gradually coming down, and all the baggage you accumulated over the years was slowly fading.
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you looked over the terrace of your suite in your lace slip, taking in the beauty of the eiffel tower which you could see from your luxurious hotel room.
"s'pretty, just like you." robert says, wrapping his arms around you from behind, placing a soft kiss behind your ear. "good morning, mrs. fischer."
ah, that's right.
you were mrs. fischer now - newly married and happier than ever. after that fateful night in roberts penthouse, the two of you just clicked. it was fate, no - destiny. it was like something you had never known before, the pull between you two was on a metaphysical level, and for once, you didn't fight the fall.
now, nearly three years later, you were taking in the gorgeous view of paris in the early morning on your honeymoon.
your wedding was beautiful - private and intimate - but beautiful. it was just the way you imagined it would be; everything you dreamed of. robert had proposed to you a week after you graduated from your program in college, and the two of you were happily in love - still happily in love, and always would be happily in love.
you decided to quit your call girl job, as there was no longer a need to work anymore at all. robert covered all of your finances, never once did you ever pick up the bill with him. he supported you in everything that you did, always being there for you and showing up for you when you most needed him.
he never judged you, never belittled you, never made you doubt how much he loved you. it was like he had superpowers with the way he was able to permeate through all the past trauma you had. it didn't matter to him if you were working in the escort business before he came along; he simply didn't care.
your past is in the past for a reason, that wasn't you anymore. you were a different woman now. softer and no longer had her guard up constantly. sometimes, you felt like he knew you better than you knew yourself.
because he loved you for you. he taught you how to be grateful for yourself, to show up for yourself, to love yourself the way he loved you.
"i love you so much, honey. god, i love everything about you." he said softly, kissing down your neck, making you giggle.
"mm, i'd love to see me from your point of view." you say, taking in the breathtaking view of paris, and your new life.
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starlight-bread-blog · 15 hours
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It's Zutara Month 2024 So I'm Gonna Discuss (See: Fangirl) Them and Emotional Labor
Katara cooks, sews, but most of all: she gives unconditional emotional support for her brother, and later the rest of the Gaang.
Illustrated after Appa was stolen, the Gaang got stuck in a desert without much water, food or any means of transportation besides their legs. Katara gave everyone her bending water, without drinking any herself, responded to everyone with compassion, and by the end she helped bring Aang back to himself while he was out of control in the Avatar State.
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Even after the episode is over, next episode and she helps delivering a baby, and still makes sure to look after Aang.
Sokka too testified that Katara did a lot of labor for him:
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Sokka: Actually, in a way, I rely on [Katara's bossiness].
Toph: I don't understand.
Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara, she had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helpwd fill the void that was left by our mom.
Toph: I guess I never thought about that.
And appropriately, Katara is the one doing the vast majority of the emotional labor in her relationships. She takes care everyone, comfrots them, and protects them. Take "The Deserter" as an example: Aang was being extremely careless with his new found fire bending ability, to the point where he accidently burns Katara's hands.
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Katara herself never express her anger at him, she ends up healing her own wounds. Sokka does the scolding. A\ang felt incredibly guilty, but still – by the end, Katara is the one comfroting Aang when he wants to give up on fire bending.
Katara takes care of everyone in the Gaang, making sure they're well, helping them heal their scars. Moreover, Katara often brings up her own grief to empthize with other people's loss. It's a pattern of sorts:
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1) A character talks about their past with the Fire Nation
Haru: Yeah. Problem is ... [Close-up, earthbends two stones in a circle above his hand.] the only way I can feel close to my father now is when I practice my bending. He taught me everything I know.
Jet: The Fire Nation killed my parents. I was only eight years old. That day changed me forever.
Hama: I'm sorry. It's too painful to talk about anymore.
2) Katara brings up her own grief, sympathizing with their loss
Katara (to Haru): See this necklace? My mother gave it to me.
Katara (to Jet): Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.
Katara (to Hama): We completely understand. We lost our mother in a raid.
A\ang is a bit of an exception, given that she brought up her grief to prepare him for the loss of his people. (Ad they all respond sympathetically). Still, she brings it up to sympathize and help. There is nothing wrong with that, of course. but here is how it went with Zuko:
1) A character talks about their past with the Fire Nation
Katara: You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.
2) Katara brings up her own grief, sympathizing with their loss
Zuko: I'm sorry. That's something we have in common.
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It's Zuko who responds to her grief this time. It's him empathizing with her. It's him doing the emotional labor for her. And it's this sympathy is their first real civil conversation, establishing that in their relationship, Zuko will do some of the labor needed of him.
In The Southern Raiders, Katara opens up to Zuko, compleyely unprompted, while she is yet to forgive him, about the precise events that led to her mother's death.
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A thing she has never done with anyone, and is doing now with someone she considers untrust worthy. Zuko responds with "your mother was a brave women". She, once again, is on the reciving end of the emotional labor – and in a way that is deeper than any other intance of her in the show.
In rest of the episode, Zuko is the one thinking of her and taking care of her.
Exhibit A:
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Exhibit B:
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Exhibit C:
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Katara takes care of everyone, but it is with Zuko that she recives the help she deserves.
She put herself in danger to help A\ang, she helpped him after he'd burnt her, and she stepped up when her mother died. But with Zuko, he is the one reaching out. He's the one taking care of her needs.
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ebdaydreamer · 2 days
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fuck it friday
tagged by @bidisasterevankinard
so ummmm I wrote a whole fic. here it is on ao3
tagging: @bigfootsmom @monsterrae1 @elvensorceress @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life
@spaceprincessem @bucksbiawakening
It's spec but not really spec the idea just wouldn't leave me alone enjoy:
“Well that was dramatic,” Buck said to break the awkward silence.
They had just got home from the hospital. It was a total false alarm, Eddie was fine, but whilst he was off getting every test under the sun done, his life blew up in the waiting room.
First his parents came, with Chris in tow. And everything was fine, Buck was chatting to them, everyone was just trying to remain calm. Until somehow the topic turned more sombre, and they were discussing what would happen if Eddie really was sick. And well, one thing led to another, and Eddie’s will was brought up, and Helena Diaz lost it.
Then Marisol rushed through the doors, asking them what happened.
Which was odd, because Eddie had been on a date when they all got the call that something had happened.
Then the ghost of Shannon Diaz walked in. The woman Eddie had been on a date with when he was rushed to the hospital.
All hell broke loose.
The group had marched to Eddie’s room, demanding explanations. Buck held on to Chris who was looking a little green himself. This was not his place. He could ask Eddie what the fuck he was thinking and why he didn’t talk to him later.
And this was that later.
Eddie gave a half laugh and sunk into the chair at his dining table. “That’s one word for it.” He rested his chin in his palm, but Buck could see he was shaking.
“What’s going on, Eddie?” Buck asked softly. “Talk to me, please.” He held up his hands, palms facing Eddie. “No judgement, I promise. I’m not exactly in the position to, anyway.”
Eddie shook his head. “You got drunk and kissed someone else once. I lied… to everyone I know, for weeks.”
“O-OK, but why?”
He took a deep breath, gaze pointed to the left of Buck’s head. He hadn’t looked him in the eyes since the hospital.
“I guess… I wanted to live in the delusion a little longer. That somehow I’d found Shannon again, that I had that magic back, instead-” He abruptly cut himself off.
And Buck guessed he could understand. Because cheating on his girlfriend aside, everyone would have told him what a bad idea dating Kim was. Because she wasn’t Shannon. She looked a creepy amount like her, but she acted nothing like her. And it wasn’t fair to her to just be a replacement. 
Buck wondered if that was what Eddie had been doing with every relationship since Shannon died.
“Eddie, what you had with Shannon… you’re never going to have that again.” Eddie began to protest, and Buck cut him off. “But that’s OK. It’s supposed to be different. There’s no one right way for a relationship to be. That doesn’t take away from what you had with her.”
The chair screeched against the floor, and Eddie jumped up. “It has to be! My kid needs a mom and I need a wife and-”
“OK, we both know that’s B.S.” Buck stood up, and held out his hands to Eddie’s shaking ones. Just in case he needed steadying. “That’s what has been drilled into your head as a kid-”
Eddie huffed and began walking to the living room. Buck followed.
“about what families are supposed to be, but you and I know that isn’t true!”
Eddie stopped and spun around, panic flashing in his eyes. “What other choice do I have? Because there’s what I want and what I can have. I can want Shannon, but I can’t have her. I can have someone safe and easy like Marisol, even if that’s not what I really want. Because believe me, there’s a lot I want but can't have!”
“Like Shannon? Eddie, if… if you think Shannon was it for you… then stop torturing yourself. Stop forcing things you think you need to have. And who knows? Maybe one day you will find someone you want again. But it’s not fair to the people you date or yourself to keep forcing a relationship.”
“This isn’t about Shannon!”
Buck blinked. Eddie’s chest heaved. Chris snored from down the hall.
“W- what?”
“I mean… a part of it is. A part of it always will be. But there are other…” Eddie waved his hands as he searched for the words, “things that I’ve realised I want, that I can’t have. So sue me for trying to recreate the one good relationship I was actually allowed to have.”
Buck swallowed and nodded, trying to follow along.
“Right, so there’s something else you want. Why not go for it? What’s stopping you?”
“I told you, I can’t.”
“Eddie, you deserve to be happy.” He said it softly, gently, like approaching a wounded animal, because he knew that Eddie didn’t quite believe it. “You deserve to be a little selfish, for once.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I just did the selfish thing, and I think it ruined everything in my life.”
“You screwed up. Big time. But you haven’t ruined everything. Your parents will get over the will thing. Chris will forgive you. And you’ve still got all of us. The 118.” Buck smiled at him. “You’ve still got me.”
“Do I?” Eddie snapped, finally meeting his eyes.
And Buck… Buck felt like he’d been pushed back by the force of his words.“Of- of course you have me! I’ve got your back, remember? You’ve been the one pushing me away these last few weeks. Which is what you do when you’re hiding something. Now I know and we can get back to normal.”
Eddie stepped towards him, until they were close enough that Buck had to tilt his chin down ever so slightly to fully meet his eyes. His eyes that were now storming with something Buck couldn’t recognise. “What if I don’t want to get back to normal?”
“What do you m-”
One hand on his neck. One hand in his shirt. Lips. Lips against his. Kissing. Eddie was kissing him. Why was Eddie kissing him? They don’t do this. Eddie wasn’t into men. But then again, Buck didn’t think he was into men until Tommy.
Tommy.
Buck pulled away and stepped back. “What the hell?”
“You asked what I wanted.” Eddie gestured between them. “There’s your answer.”
“Me?”
“You.”
Buck’s brain felt like static. He couldn’t even begin to process the amount of feelings and thoughts and questions bouncing around his brain. He tried to grab them as they flew past, and after a solid 30 seconds of spluttering, he managed to ask, “Since- since when?”
Eddie shrugged, lighter than before. “Not sure, really. I didn’t figure it out until I was bleeding out on that street, reaching for you. I fell. My eyes were so heavy. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake. So I looked for you, and I reached for you and I realised I was in love with you.”
“You’re-”
“Yeah.” Now Eddie’s started looking at him, he can’t seem to stop. Buck felt like he was suffocating under his stare. “I couldn’t have ever dreamt you up in my wildest dreams. You’re… everything I never allowed myself to want. And the life we’ve built? Our friendship? It means so much. I couldn’t ruin what we already had. So yeah, I dated Ana and Marisol and Kim because I can’t get over you or Shannon.” Eddie made an amused noise and briefly looked away from him. “Maybe if I could get over at least one of you I could be happy with someone else.”
The silence returned. Eddie was clearly waiting for Buck’s next reaction, but he still couldn’t think properly. He tried to process the last few minutes: Eddie kissed him; Eddie was in love with him; Eddie has known this since he got shot.
“Three years ago, Eddie. Why are you telling me now? I’m with Tommy! I’m happy with Tommy!”
There had been time. Maybe not right away, when he was still with Ana, and then Buck was with Taylor. But they were both single for months. Hell, Buck died and Eddie still didn’t think it was important enough to tell him. This is the time? Not when Buck was scrambling to find the secret to happiness? When he died? When he asked Eddie about being shot? Literally any of the countless days they had spent together?
“Because! Because I’ve already blown up everything else in my life! What do I have left to lose? Besides, would it have even made a difference?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know and I can’t know because I’m with Tommy.”
Because Buck could think all he liked about the opportunities Eddie had had before now, but he couldn’t begin to wonder what would have happened if he had taken them. Because then he wouldn’t have Tommy.
Tommy, who was so hot and cool and confident.
Tommy, who made Buck feel giddy and excited.
Tommy, who made him laugh and moan and scream.
Tommy, who changed his life.
(But didn’t Eddie do that too?)
“Look I can’t…” Buck ran a hand across his face. “I have to go. I can’t do this right now, and Tommy has been asking for an update about you, because he’s worried about you, because he’s your friend and-” Buck cut himself off, knowing he was probably driving the knife a little deep. Eddie knew how badly he’d fucked up. He knew it when he’d kissed him. Buck wondered if he even cared anymore.
“I’ll text you later, I just… I gotta go.”
He turned away before he could see Eddie’s reaction and walked out the door.
It was the last time he went through that door for a while.
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foxes-that-run · 19 hours
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loml
The title of this song refers to both love of my life and loss of my life. Harry's only track 13 is Love of My Life. Like Harry's LOML, loml is a song about letting a long held love go. Both are regretful of love lost but neither over it. As a song about a long museship the references to both Taylor and Harry's work is dense, so this post is long. A shorter TLDNR is here. The nature of the relationship Taylor is describing is one that should have a lot of references, and it does. Each chorus refers to a different song where Harry professed love.
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The initial Spotify Canvas was of Taylor in a sweater looking emotional. After Fortnight was released it was replaced with Taylor and Post inside the Style-head reading Story of Us on the road. Taylor played loml once as a surprise song on piano in Paris, with Paris in the first show after their release on 9 May 2024.
Lyrics
[Verse 1] Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames If we know the steps anyway? We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, “We were just kids, babe”
The first verse establishes that Taylor is singing to an old muse at the end of a breakup, or false start. She refers to them being together in their youth, of wistful memories and that the love is irreplaceable. It is full of references:
Waltzing back into rekindled flames, Taylor refers to dance as a kind of subconscious action in several songs, this reminds me most closely of 'Dancing around it' in High Infidelity and 'Dancing is a dangerous thing' in Cowboy Like Me - where the dance is also tempting a romantic relationship, they know the steps - as in they have fallen into this before.
Embroidering memories touches on the Haylor theme of stitches. 'Away is in a lot of Taylor's songs.
'While I was away' reminds me of AYHTS "People like you always want back the love they gave away" and Midnight Ran's "the life I gave away" - a similar idea that she was absent.
Stitching 'We were just kids babe' is a reference to Patti Smith's Biography 'Just Kids' which is her memories about her time with fellow artist Robert Mapplethorpe who died of Aids. Taylor also refers to this time in Patti Smith's life in TTPD. Patti thanked Taylor for the callout with posting a photo of her reading Dylan Thomas' biography. This line establishes this muse is a fellow young artist who Taylor had an important relationship with when they were young. Taylor & Harry have likened themselves to famous couples
I said, “I don’t mind, it takes time” I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I felt aglow like this Never before and never since
'I don't mind, it takes time', this idea is referred to in Peter also and other Haylor songs:
Run: Piece of paper where I wrote, “I’ll wait for you”
How You Get The Girl: I would wait forever and ever
“Slut!”: Everyone wants him, that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time
Say Don’t Go: The waiting is a sadness fading into madness
"I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed" - the prologue describes three muses, as does the Fortnight MV. One has celestial imagery that links to Satellite, such as stars, comets, orbit, planet and whole sky. Starry-eyed is in a few songs including:
CIWYW - Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night
Cowboy like me - Eyes full of stars
High Infidelity - Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eye
Better safe than starry eyed also reminds me of "How dare you think it's romantic / Leaving me safe and stranded" in Down Bad that refers to New Romantics "Please leave me stranded"
'Never felt aglow like this', 'never before and never since' is a glowing irreplaceable connection. Taylor described similar in:
This Love - This love is glowing in the dark
Question...? - Does it feel like everything's just like second best after that meteor strike?
[Chorus 1] If you know it in one glimpse, it’s legendary You and I go from one kiss to getting married Still alivе, killing time at the cemеtery Never quite buried
I knew from one glimpse, it was legendary, we go from one kiss to getting married is a reference to Holy Ground:
“Back to a first glance feeling on New York time/ Back when you fit my poems like a perfect rhyme/ Took off faster than a green light, go : Yeah, you skip the conversation when you already know”
A similar line is also in Glitch - "Five seconds later, I'm fastening myself to you with a stitch"
‘Still alive at the cemetery’ is similar to The 1: “In my defense, I have none / For digging up the grave another time” which in turn is a reference to the OOTW/LAWYMMD music video link where Taylor from the end of 1989 is Taylor at the start of the next video.
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In your suit and tie, in the nick of time
‘In your suit and tie’ is dressed for a wedding. Arriving ‘in nick of time’ is the muse interrupting a wedding saying “don’t do this there’s still time!” Which Taylor said of Harry, when describing the muse of Style and 1989 Taylor said she expected this. Here she is saying she was fooling herself.
You low-down boy, you stand-up guy You Holy Ghost, you told me I’m the love of your life You said I’m the love of your life About a million times
“Low down boy; you stand up guy” is a person who has been in Taylor’s life since they were a boy (with a dirty mouth) who has grown to be a stand up guy. They are now grown but not with her.
Taylor then refers to Harry’s music, Holy Ghost refers to Two Ghosts and refers to Love of My Life by name. In which Harry says it 5 times, he’s performed it 102 times to around 700k fans, so yeah, a lot. Note it's “said” not “told me”.
[Verse 2] Who’s gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate And told me I reformed you? When your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes
Taylor refers to truth often, but usually her telling or seeing a truth, But in the Alcott the muse tells her the truth and she says she she has fallen back in love with the muse. I imagine in Taylors life many do not tell the truth, but this muse can and does. Here Taylor asks if they will still tell the truth if they are together.
The muse told Taylor she reformed them. Harry says this in Stockholm Syndrome, that he "used to sing about being free but now he has changed his mind". On 13 May 2023 Harry added Stockholm Syndrome to the HSLOT set for the last 18 shows. A song he he wrote for Taylor when they were dating and had not performed since 2018.
The impressionist paintings may refer to the Two Ghosts music video, which was or became tour screens. (Thank you @notoriousbeb) The reference to fakes is where an overture of love did not come through.
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Well, you took me to hell too And all at once, the ink bleeds A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme But I’ve felt a hole like this Never before and ever since
The second half of this verse links back to past writing to each other
'And all at once, the ink bleeds' I LOVE this line so much. It has a double meaning, the ink bleeds as Taylor writes music inspired by a museship that has featured in so much of her work. The ink bleeds like emotion bleeds as the bleeding love theme.
"A conman sells a fool a get love quick scheme" this line is dense:
In Why She Disappeared, the poem played before Getaway Car in the Reputation Stadium Tour included "Wary of phone calls and promises, Charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes"
Harry and Taylor have referred to each other as robbers, thieves, cowboys and now a conman see thief theme
Harry and Taylor have both referred to themselves as a fool many times for being stuck on each other.
Never felt a hole like this before or since is crushing, it reminds me of Questions...?'s "Does it feel like everything's just like second-best after that Meteor strike?"
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[Chorus 2] If you know it in one glimpse, it’s legendary What we thought was for all time was momentary Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried You cinephile in black and white All those plot twists and dynamite Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry You said I’m the love of your life
In the second chorus Taylor again refers to songs by Harry, but changes which ones:
Mr Steal Your Girl refers to One Directions Steal My Girl.
B&W Cinephile may refer to when Harry kept his Instagram B&W for 2 years from when 1989 was released with the line 'the rest of the world was in screaming color' it may also refer to the Treat People With Kindness music video in B&W and widescreen. Harry is also a cinephile, both in being a fan of cinema and appearing in more recent films than her actor partner at the time.
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[Bridge] You shit-talked me under the table Talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could un-recall How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can’t get out of bed ‘Cause something counterfeit’s dead? It was legendary It was momentary It was unnecessary Should’ve let it stay buried
Shit-talking can mean either disparaging remarks or saying something untrue and going on about it. Talking, (or drinking) someone under the table is doing so in excess. So I take this first line 'shit-talked me under the table' to mean the muse went on saying untrue things for ages, in the context of the rest of the verse I think that is making statements of love they were not yet willing to follow through on.
Taylor sees they were so close, a similar line is in TTPD there is a similar line of 'litany of reasons we could have played for keeps this time' Taylors muse has professed love and that they are endgame but not followed through.
In the Only Angel Demo Harry sang "I must admit I married you a thousand times. Had to change my tune when I found out what it'd be like."
Counterfeit is also in Glitch "It must be counterfeit, I think there's been a glitch"
The shit-talk is rings and cradles, in a time that Taylor was disappointed a long term relationship ended another long term muse flirted with settling down but did not. Harry wore the Peace Ring and Haylor ring for years, they seemed as possible promise rings which these lines remind me of. As do songs of both which may refer to the other. The Haylor ring is featured in merchandise for TTPD and Taylor wears it in the Fortnight Music Video so it is likely this ring.
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[Final Chorus] Oh, what a valiant roar What a bland goodbye The coward claimed he was a lion I’m combing through the braids of lies “I’ll never leave,” “Never mind” Our field of dreams engulfed in fire Your arson’s match, your somber eyes And I’ll still see it until I die You’re the loss of my life
The final chorus reads as a bitter disappointment of Taylors muse has meekly said they will not be with her.
Stockholm Syndrome - which Harry readded to his setlist 13 March 2023 (gone since 2018) has the line "Baby, I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way, oh o-oh" Here Taylor has compared it to what looks like a goodbye statement from someone who doesn't want to talk about it.
It is the loss of Taylor's life, one she felt at the time of writing this song was not one she would get over.
Valiant Roar
The 'valiant roar' is likely a reference to Harry's Gucci Lion ring which he has worn since 2018 and briefly lost in April 2022 at Coachella. It attracted a lot of attention until it's return when it was learned it has an inscription of 'second time's the charm'. Taylor also wore a Gucci Lion ring at Electric Lady Studios on 12 April 2023 (before heading to Florida). At that time the 1975 were in Australia and Harry was in the US after a golf tournament in Augusta. This line also reminds me of this scene in DWD which OW described as a 'primal roar' to Rolling Stone in 2022.
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cloudsmateria · 1 day
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love crushed - cloud x reader
summary: cloud can't sleep with you on his mind, unable to accept his feelings. until eventually you both get caught unable to sleep. confessions occur, seggs happens perchance.
tw: seggs, quite rough seggs
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He finally gave up. After hours of writhing in his hotel room, trying to convince himself over and over again, he knew he wasn’t winning. You had been circulating his mind, doing laps, your face crossing his vision every second. Continuously recalling your cut-up face today, panting, exhausted, the way his heart failed at the sight of you. You had no hesitation when it came to saving anyone, even at the expense of yourself. 
He groaned, dragging himself out of bed to get fresh air on the balcony. He dragged his hands down his face as he leaned against the railings, looking over Junon. He was being such a fucking girl about this, really. Just a simple crush and it was like he was 14 years old again, getting sweaty hands at the mere thought of you, and yet he still didn't want to accept it, what was right in front of him.
Cloud sighed deeply, resting his elbows against the railings and clasping his hands together. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn't be away from you. Even if you didn’t return his feelings, it wasn't going to stop him, no way in hell, he just needed you by his side, sitting in that bed he was already thinking about knocking on your door just to talk to you and see if you were still okay from that fight that happened hours ago. 
"I don't like her. I'm just not used to having new friends," he told himself, the wind ruffling his hair and his heart pounding at the thought of you, eventually shaking his head, that didn't feel right. He couldn't even deny it anymore. "...It's just a crush, I'll get over it."
The lie tasted bitter on his tongue.
Cloud was already heading to your room, his hand raised to knock on the door before he realised what he was doing. He cursed himself, dropping his arm back down to his side. This was fucking ridiculous, what was he doing? Cloud didn't even realise the way he was acting, but this was unlike him. Normally, he was cool and collected, always had been, but you, you turned his world upside down and he had no idea how to handle it. 
"Why am I doing this?" He thinks, softly leaning his head against the door. "She's probably sleeping, why are you disturbing her for this stupid shit?" He asked himself, turning around and walking down the hall towards the elevator. He pressed the button, waiting as he looked back at your door. And you stepped out, half asleep and still in your pajamas, it was so dark you didn't even see Cloud at the end of the hallway. 
You shuffled down the hallway. Your head was killing you, all those thoughts that had been swarming you for the past few hours, and now you had a headache. It was a horrible, horrible, night. You needed to go see Aerith to see if she had any healing spells, or Tifa to see if she had any medication, maybe you could go out and clear your head.
You bumped straight into Cloud's chest while you were rubbing your eyes.
"Y/n?"
"Cloud?"
"What are you doing up? Are you okay?"
"I could ask you the same thing. Not trying to sneak out on us are you?" You say, looking up at him, squinting. The hallway lights were bright and you couldn't see his expression properly.
"Just taking a walk."
"Oh my god, that's great. Can I join you?"
"Sure. Everything okay?"
"Yeah," you sigh, "I just couldn't sleep, I've got a lot of things on my mind."
"I know what that's like."
"You couldn't sleep either, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Wanna talk about it?" You ask, walking next to him as you both go downstairs.
"Not really." You smiled.
"You're never going to open up to me, are you? It's nice to get things off your chest, you know. I'm a great listener."
"You're also so nosy."
"Only for hot, mysterious guys." You giggle, poking him in the chest. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head and trying not to smile, but you notice his mouth twitching and the tips of his ears going red. "Where are we going, by the way?"
"Down on the beach, unless you want to go somewhere else?"
"No, it's fine. I love the beach."
"You'll freeze."
"I won't."
"You're still wearing your PJs."
"I don't need a lecture, Cloud."
"Well it's my problem if you get sick, isn't it?"
"That's cute. Assuming the responsibility of taking care of me."
"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"
"Touche."
You both walked in silence to the beach, the breeze was warm and the stars were shining bright in the sky. The waves were crashing on the shore, the smell of the ocean was filling the air, and Cloud was beside you.
"What's on your mind?" He asked. 
"Hit my head when we were fighting earlier, had a headache. And just thinking about some stupid shit that happened years ago, it's so annoying when you can't get things out of your head and you get a headache."
"I get it. I feel the same way. Sometimes it feels like a million things are happening and all at once."
"Exactly."
You were quiet for a moment, listening to the ocean and feeling the soft sand beneath your feet. He turned to face you while you were looking over the water, moonlight softly reflecting in your eyes, lighting up your face. Breathtaking. Although brutally reminded of earlier as his eyes dropped down to the cut on your cheek, the gash on your arm. 
"I’m sorry that I couldn't get to you quick enough earlier."
"It's fine, you don’t have to protect me. Just ended up with a concussion."
"Why do you always get yourself hurt for other people?" You laughed. 
"I couldn't let Tifa get hurt, could I? She deserves princess treatment. You would know, you have a crush on her, don't you?" 
"What?" Cloud choked.
"Knowing a girl that pretty since you were kids? Sounds like a great love story." You were genuinely curious, not wanting to be a homewrecker or get the wrong idea from him at any point. You could get the vibe that she liked him too, that they were flirting sometimes. 
"Tifa is my best friend, I've known her for years."
"You guys were arguing like a couple in Nice. Or is it a relationship?"
"We're childhood friends."
"That's not what I asked, Cloud."
"No, it’s not.”
"What about Aerith?"
"Aerith is like my sister."
"Do you have a crush on her then? Is that why you always get flustered around her?"
"Why does it matter? You've got a thing for Reno, don't you?" You burst out laughing, he couldn't help but smile watching you die for a minute straight, until you could feel abs coming through. But he genuinely wanted a straight answer. "Don't you?"
"No?" You snorted. 
"Leslie or Tseng?"
"Oh my God, Cloud. You're going to kill me." You laughed. "What makes you think that?"
"You kept calling them hot. The way you look at both of them too. "
"The way I look at him? Are you jealous?" You tease.
"Of course not." He said sternly.
"Why are you getting so defensive, Strife?" You smirk.
"I'm not."
"Sounds like jealousy to me."
"Why would I get jealous?"
"Are you sure you're not jealous, Cloudy? You're getting a bit worked up."
"Y/n..." He mutterest annoyedly.
"You're not denying it."
"What's there to deny? ...Oh, come on. I saw the way you looked at Reno."
"Reno's a pain in the ass. An attractive pain in the ass. But I don't like him." Thank God, he thinks. "What about you then? Aerith or Tifa?"
"No."
"No to both of them?"
"Why are you surprised?"
"Because they're gorgeous! Are you gay?!"
"No. I'm just... not attracted to them. That's all."
"Ok so... not gay, not attracted to Tifa or Aerith." You list. "You have to like someone."
"Who do you like thetn?" I’m not ready for an unrequited confession, you think. 
"I asked first."
"Are you 5?"
"We're literally sitting here talking about crushes and you're dodging the question. You’re the five-year-old."
"This is ridiculous."
"Who is it?"
"Are we really going to do this here?"
"Please."
"I like you." Cloud says, finally looking at you. You freeze, blinking a couple of times. His heart sinks to his stomach, knowing he should’ve expected rejection and feeling like a fucking idiot. 
"What?"
"You heard me."
"Say it again."
"I like you, Y/n. What? Have I ruined everything?"  One more butterfly and you would've flown away. 
"You don't." You say, trying to confirm it.
"Why is that so hard to believe?"
"If you're being serious I'm going to do something really stupid."
"Wha-" You grabbed the collar of his vest, pushing his face toward you, lips connecting.  His hands find your waist quickly, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. Your hands snake around his neck, running through his hair, his hand cupping your cheek, thumb stroking it. He pulls away, biting your bottom lip, picking your hips to wrap your legs around his waist, panting heavily and taken shocked.  
"You have no idea how long it took for me to come to terms with the fact I like you."
“I can’t believe it either.” You smile, kissing him again. “I bagged Cloud Strife.”
“And I bagged you.”
"Let’s get back to the hotel. It’s cold.”
“Almost like I said. And who’s going to be the one taking care of you?”
“It’s almost like I wanted you to warm me up.” You smiled. 
He quickly had you against the door the second you got in, kissing down your neck feverishly. It was the only thing he could do after you had been relentlessly going through his mind all week. He wanted nothing more than to feel every inch of you.
"Cloud," you moan, pulling at his vest and throwing it off of him.
"What?" He breathes, his hand reaching the back of your neck to pull you into another kiss.
"Do you know how hot you are?"
"Do you know how hot you are? Why the hell are you not naked yet?" He mumbles into your mouth, ripping your shirt off.
"Fuck." You gasp, as his lips travel down your chest, unclipping your bra. "Couldn't even wait to get onto the bed? Ah-!" His nimble fingers came to your breast, rolling the bud, his mouth sucking in your other nipple, tongue swirling around it. You grip onto his hair, your body burning, twitching. He lifts his head, his lips capturing yours again.
"You're beautiful."
"You're making me blush." You breathe, as his finger catches in your waistband, moving slowly.
“It looks good on you."
"Hurry up, please,"
"Begging already?"
"You've had me waiting long enough, I swear-" He presses his lips against yours again, silencing you.
"Patience."
"I can’t." You mutter as he pulls off your shorts and undergarments, bringing his face down, arms wrapped around your thighs to prop you up against the wall.
"Please, Cloud."
"God, I love it when you beg. You have no idea what it does to me." He groans, taking in what is in front of him. 
"Fucking do something about it." You say frustratedly, bucking your hips forward to prompt any kind of contact. 
"Didn't expect you to be such a brat." He nudges his nose against your clit, making your thighs squeeze, although forced back open by his arms.
"Cloud!"
He licks a long stripe down your pussy, his tongue slipping in. His tongue flicks, making you arch as you whisper his name over and over.
"Cloud, fuck, Cloud,"
"So pretty," he says, muffled.
"More, please."
He takes your clit into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it, his arms holding you up as you start to shake. His tongue works its way down, sliding in and out, nose pressed deeply into your sensitive bud. It didn't take you long to feel yourself build up to your finish.
"I'm close." You whimper, he feels your thighs tighten, letting your thighs squeeze his head and hang your legs over your shoulder. 
"Come on, baby."
You moan as your climax reaches, eyes rolling back, gripping his hair tightly. Your legs begin to twitch, his head lifting up.
"So perfect for me." He hums, standing up, held up by your ass as he brings your face up for a kiss. He brings you over to lie on his bed. He kisses down your body, making you whine.
"What about you?" You ask. 
"What about me?"
"Don't you want to finish?"
"You want me to fuck you?"
"God, yes."
"Are you sure you can handle it, princess?" He asks, undoing his trousers and removing the rest of his clothes. “How do you want it?”
"However you want."
"I asked how you wanted it, Y/n.”
"I'm indecisive, I just need you. Do whatever you want, please."
"You sure you're not going to regret that? I won't hold back." He says, kicking off his trousers. You can see the bulge through his boxers, making your heart stop for a minute. "Having second thoughts?"
"That's a lot for my first time."
"You're a virgin?"
"I don't exactly have time for boyfriends when I move all over the place."
"I'll be gentle then."
"I thought you said you weren't holding back." You sit up, watching him as he pulls it out, and kicks away his boxers too. Speechless.
"Only if you had a deathwish." He teases. 
"Can I suck it?"
"Only if you promise not to bite."
"No promises."
He smiles, stroking his cock a couple of times, standing over you. He lets your hand wrap around it, guiding you to his tip. You take him in your mouth, his hand tangling itself in your hair, gently guiding himself down your throat.
"You're so pretty." He groans. You swirl your tongue, making him buck his hips slightly, a moan escaping his lips. You hum, sending vibrations down his dick, his grip tightening in your hair.
"Faster," he pleads, thrusting into your mouth, your eyes watering as he goes deeper. "Fuck,"
He pulls out, you lick a long strip down the underside, sucking the tip. You can taste the precum as you go back to deepthroating him as far as you can manage until you feel his balls tighten.
"God, I could cum in your mouth right now."
You can feel him getting close, his grip starts to tighten. He pulls you away by your hair.
"I was going to let you finish me, but I want to hear you scream." He pushes you back down onto the bed, spreading your legs wide open. You can feel the heat radiating off of his dick, as it rests on your pelvis. "You still want this?"
"Yes, Cloud. Please, please."
"Needy thing." He says, leaning down to peck your lips. He swirls a finger around your clit, before pushing the tip against it, slowly running it up and down. He watches the way your face contorts in pleasure, as you grab the pillow underneath your head. He lines himself up, changing his mind at the last second with a grin, rubbing it up between your lips again. 
"Stop teasing me,"
"It's so fun to watch your squirm,"
"I'll finish myself off."
"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that if I'm holding you down?" He grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.
"I can't wait any longer, please."
"Since you're begging so nicely."
"God, finally." He leans over again, kissing you one more time before lining himself up. Slowly, pushing the tip in, and letting you adjust to the stretch as he stayed there for a minute. He groaned, it was already so tight, hot, wet.
"Fuck... So tight." He mutters, thrusting the tip in. "You okay?"
"Yeah." You twitch around him, and he feels it. He pushes in slowly, inch by inch. His cock filling you, the stretch getting wider, as he slides in completely, the inside of you full.
"Ah- Fuck."
"Want me to stop?" You shake your head. He bites down on his bottom lip. "God you feel so good." Slowly, he pulls out, the head catching on the edge, and pushes in again. The pace stays slow for a while, his hand holding your wrists above your head.
"Taking me so good." He moans, kissing your neck again. You whimper, any discomfort starting to melt away, pleasure taking over.
"Harder, Cloud."
He complies, snapping his hips into you, the pace slowly picking up. You cry out and his hand comes off your wrists to clamp around your mouth before you woke up everyone else, his thrusts turning into a fast and rough pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoing through the room. His breath was hot on your neck, panting.
"You want it rough?" 
"God, please, yes." He pulls out suddenly, flipping you over onto your chest, your ass hanging in the air. 
His hand came to your hip, slamming back into you, grabbing a handful of hair and yanking it back, forcing your back to arch. His pace was brutal, his hand leaving your hip, coming to the small of your back, holding you in that position. The room filled with nothing but the sound of his balls hitting your clit, the obscene wet noise of his cock slipping in and out. You bury your face into the pillow, muffling the noises spilling out of your mouth.
"God, you take my cock so well. Such a good girl." He groans. His pace begins to stagger, his dick twitching inside you. "Can't believe I had to wait this long for you."
He pulls your head back, pressing his chest against your back. He kisses and sucks at the skin of your neck, his hips snapping against your ass, the sound of the headboard knocking against the wall. His hand comes back down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles, and it was overwhelming. You felt tears form in the corner of your eyes.
"I'm so close."
"Me too."
"Come on, y/n, cum on my cock." His hips snapped again, and you couldn't hold back anymore. The knot in your stomach released, your legs shaking.
"Fuck." He groans, his hips stuttering and his hand coming down to grip your ass, feeling the convulsions of your body around his dick. "I'm going to cum inside."
"Please."
"You want it?"
"Uh-huh."
He buries himself inside, a guttural groan escaping his throat, the heat of his cum filling you up, twitching, his thrusts slowing, riding out his orgasm. His arms wrapped around your body, keeping you pressed against his chest, as you both lay there, panting, trying to catch your breath.
"Fuck." He chuckles. "That was..."
"Wow."
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"I'm seeing stars, I think. Or maybe I'm in love."
"You're definitely in love." He smiles, kissing your cheek. He thrusts deep into you one more time, his cock sensitive, the both of you moaning. "Round two?" He suggests.
"I'll die." He laughs and pulls out of you, you whimpering at the loss. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him.
"I'll get you a pill tomorrow morning, okay?"
"I have an important question."
He wraps his arms around your waist, his forehead pressed against yours. "Go on."
"How did you learn how to fuck so good?"
"I had a lot of pent-up energy."
"So I was just an easy outlet?"
"Maybe."
"I don't want to hear another word."
"I'm joking. It was pent up feelings, you idiot."
"Or maybe you're just a man whore?"
"No, definitely not. Just pent up feelings, like I said."
"For how long?"
"Like a year."
"That's a long time."
"I know."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I thought you didn't like me."
"Cloud."
“Mm.”
“You’re stupid.”
“I know. We could’ve fucked sooner.”
"Is that what you're really thinking about?"
"Not really. I'm thinking about how good your pussy feels around my cock."
"You're gross."
"You're gross, you made me cum inside you. They're going to give us an earful tomorrow, they definitely heard us." He mumbles, littering kisses up and down your neck again, wrapping his arms around you tighter. 
"Guess we better get some sleep then?"
“Anything you say, princess.”
-
this is my first time writing smut. not sure how to feel about it. maybe a little too fast paced but very fun to write, learnt a lot.
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jadestone2 · 1 day
Text
Voice of a melody 
Theme: fluff
Summery: your a famous singer who came to Sumero to perform, someone catches your eye. You could feel something brewing between you both
Pair: alhaitham x chubby reader
Stay here                              Next
A/n this is me building up the start, they just met after all! I can’t believe I already finished part 1
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Rumors say that her voice was as pure as a melody, her eyes shining brighter than the richest ore in Liyue. She travels nation to nation, singing for people who live there, you were the talk of most conversations. 
You remember the day you performed on the stage of Fontaine, lady Furina and chief justice Neuvillette would be watching. You were extremely nervous, but everything went smoothly. 
“Your concert was a delight, I hope you visit Fontaine once more! I shall throw you an outstanding welcome that not others could do!” Furina’s voice rang in your head, her words made you feel so prideful. You even made the stoic chief of justice smile, his nod in approval. 
Sure, Fontaine’s theater was a great place for your concert. But that didn’t spark you that much, it was the land of overgrown vegetation that made you interested. 
Sumero was a land of many skills, from arts to dancing. It intrigued you, you’ve heard the scenery there was something that you could never experience again. 
The problem was, you were walking into a nation but yourself, you didn’t even know how to get there! But luckily, a group of people recognized you. 
They offered you a free ride to Sumero, which you gratefully took up their offer. The boat sailing through the quiet waters of Sumero, the soft music playing.
It was true, the scenery was perfect here! The grass was the greenest, the trees grew tall and reached for the sky, the flowers were bright in color.
The people who gave you a free ride told you countless stories of the dendro archon, she kept certain wisdom hidden to keep her people safe, the desert that contained many artifacts and secrets of kind Deshret. 
 You dip your hand in the cool water, giggling when the fish swam away from your hand. You grab at a lotus as you pass bunches of them, the light blue water flower in your hand. 
You quietly sing to the music, smiling wider when one of the children attempts to sing along with you. You feel a bit sad when the boat slows down at a dock, not wanting to leave the comfortable environment.
You pluck the leaves of the lotus off, putting the blue flower in the child’s hair. Warmth fills your heart when they cling onto your leg, not wanting you to leave.
Their parents had to pull them off, saying that you had important things to do. The child pours but eventually lets go of your leg.
“I appreciate you for giving me a free ride, I hope to see you guys another time!” You say, a big smile on your face.
You step out the boat, waving at them as they float away from your view. You couldn’t help but feel a tad nervous, after all you're in a land with nothing! 
Honestly, what were you thinking?! You just showed up on land without any idea how this was going to work. 
Your eyes shine as you notice flowers, you quickly walk over, plucking some. The flowers seemed to trail somewhere, you follow the path. 
The quiet sounds of music plays, you must be at a local place. You meet with people walking around and chatting with each other. 
You listen to people’s conversations, some of them were talking about a girl named Nilou who recently performed on stage. 
That’s exactly what you needed to hear, but where can you find her? Your face morphs into confusion when you see people walking out of a big door, the door led inside a tree? 
You quietly walk through the door, many little stores scattered inside, along with a stage in the middle. 
“Hey, isn't that the singer who’s supposed to perform here?” You hear a couple of people say, they definitely are talking about you. 
You accidentally bump into a red haired girl, almost falling down. She stumbles  not, before turning to face you. 
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-“ You say, panicking.
“You're the singer! You came to Sumero to sing, right?” She says she seemed quite excited to meet you. 
“You’ve heard of me?” You ask, are you dumb? Everyone knows you, even the fatui knows about you! 
“Well of course! You managed to make everyone in Sumero eager for your arrival!” She replies, she gently pulls you with her. 
She helps you set up everything, now you have a place to perform! If it wasn’t for her you’d be so lost and confused about everything 
“Thank you so much, if it wasn’t for you I’d be so lost” You say, smiling at her. 
“Anytime! Oh, I’m Nilou! I already know who you are! Did you just arrive?” Nilou giggles, moving some of her hair from her eyes. 
You nod your head, now that you go where you're going, the song is figured out. All that is left is, where are you going to rest? 
That is extremely awkward and embarrassing, showing up to a place with nowhere to sleep. Maybe Nilou can also help you with that, though you don’t want to put too much work on her.
“I don’t exactly have a place to sleep” You mumble, blushing in embarrassment. 
“Oh! No worries, I have a friend who can help you out!” Nilou says, tugging you with her. 
You pant, she made you run to someone's house. She said her name was Layla. 
“Layla! Open up, please!” Nilou shouts, you awkwardly stand there. 
The door slowly opens up, revealing a blue haired woman. She seemed extremely sleep deprived, barely awake. 
“Oh Layla, you still haven’t improved your sleep schedule” Nilou scolds, her hands on her hips. 
“Mmh, I’m sorry. So much work” Layla says, rubbing her eyes tiredly. 
“Layla, do you think you can provide her a room? She’s a famous singer who is going to sing for the people of Sumero!” Nilou says, putting on puppy eyes. 
Layla nods her head slowly, it seemed like she didn’t even hear what Nilou said, just nodding her head. Nilou notices and takes her chance, smiling happily.
“Wonderful! Thanks again, Layla! Come on, we have many places for us to see!” Nilou says, gently grabbing your hands and leading you from Layla’s house. 
“Bye..” Layla says, closing her door.
“So, have you heard of a certain scribe and his roommate~?” Nilou asks, trying to indulge in a conversation. 
“A scribe and his roommate? Nope, doesn’t sound familiar” you say, almost bumping into Nilou again when she suddenly stops. 
“You’ve never heard of the scribe and his roommate?! Alhaitham and Kaveh?” Nilou asks, her voice getting louder. You nod your head no, shrieking when she pulls you with her again.
“Alhaitham is the scribe, he is super stoic and barely says anything nice. While his roommate, Kaveh, is loud and can be obnoxious sometimes” she says, leading you back to the heart of Sumero’s city. 
“I’ll tell you more about them, I’ve got some things to do. We’ll meet again!” Nilou says, giving you a quick hug. 
You watch her walk away, blending into the crowd of people. You let out a sigh, deciding it would be best to take a walk. You walk away from the busy city, sitting down at a nearby lake. 
You could see your reflection, you looked so worn out. Everything happened so fast, you desperately needed a break. 
Your performance was today, you needed to get ready! Somehow you remember the way back to Layla’s house, knocking on her door. 
You could hear the loud snores suddenly stop, someone scrambling to get the door. 
“Oh, it’s you” she says, mildly uninterested, or maybe she was just so exhausted. 
She opens her door wider, allowing you to come inside. You thank her, wandering inside her house. 
“Your performance is tonight, right? There will be a music festival happening right before..” She asks, she seemed happy to share information with you.
“Will you be attending?” You ask, looking at yourself in the mirror. 
“Mmh, I’ll go with you, if you want..” she says, you could hear the hint of joy in her voice. You smile, feeling the sudden burst of energy.
“I’d love that” you say, smiling.
It was now dark outside, Layla did end up coming with you. She chatted to you about astrology, you could tell she hasn’t been able to chat with anyone for ages. 
“You’ve got this” she says, watching you walk up the stairs of the stage. 
You wave at her, almost screaming when someone touches your shoulders. 
“It’s almost time, everyone is gathering up here. Are you ready?” Nilou asks, rubbing your shoulders to calm your nerves. 
“Just a bit nervous.. I think I got it” you say, wiping the thin sheet of sweat on your forehead. 
Nilou nods her head, sending you thumbs up as she joins the crowd. Every eye was one you, your voice flowing like a melody through the room. 
Your eyes dart around the room as you sing your heart out, making eye contact with a green haired man. You could feel your heart flutter, almost losing concentration. 
Everyone around him sways to the music, humming your tune. While he says there with a stoic expression, you could see that he seemed intrigued by you. 
The sun fully went as the night took place, the stars twinkling. Your voice fills the Sumerian people’s ears, the night filled with your melody. 
You were able to catch the eye of the scribe, you made him feel a certain way he’s never felt before. 
You could see Nilou and Layla standing together, poor Layla. Nilou was shaking her, she must have been excited to hear you sing. The quiet night is filled with your voice echoing. 
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Please don’t make me beg, I desperately want to make this a series! taglist: @ihatelifesm @shyfurina
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angelsanarchy · 2 days
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Righteousness of Man: Kappa x Y/N- Mini Series PRT 03
Tagging: @icarus-star @ithinkitstimetonap @kappasbbgirl @chainsawgvtsfvck @luzclarita57 @miniisunshine @romanroyapoligist @madamemaximoff06 @thirtyratsinasuit @ethical-cain-vinnel @blueberrypancakesworld @dumbbitchdelrey @loljustignoreth4t @tvgirlsbluehair @s0ulfulll @mommymilkers0526 @vomiting-blood @ultrakissed @hisemoslut @lustkillers @s-0lar @roryculkinsgf dukesofsp00ks thirtyratsinasuit
Y/n had become a big part of the community in the next few months. People looked to her when Kappa wasn't easily accessible and she was always happy to help. The one thing Kappa noticed more than how well she had acclimated into the family is how she showed them all affection.
He would never admit that he was jealous of how they leaned into her touch when she gave them encouragement or how she would kiss their faces before they all turned in for the night. Kappa would never admit that the idea of her sharing her kisses and touches with anyone other than him made his blood boil in a way it never had with any of the other women he had relations with. He wanted to reserve all of her intimacy for him and him alone.
He approached her as she held the face of Epslon in her hands and tugged on her elbow. She turned to look at him confused slightly before she gave a sweet smile and walked off towards him.
"Why are you hovering today?" Y/n asked making Kappa glance at her unimpressed.
"Why can't you seem to keep your hands to yourself?" Kappa answered her question with a question and she chuckled.
"Didn't you just get blown by one of those little peaches just a few days ago? Am I not allowed the same fluidity as you?" Y/n cocked her eyebrow at Kappa who narrowed his gaze.
"I do not share you." He spoke firmly and Y/n turned her body towards him.
"And you expect me to share you? You expect me to be this kept woman who only recieves intamacy from you whenever and however you want it?" She stepped into his space and he took a deep breath. She smelled sweet, like cherries or strawberries. It was intoxicating.
"I expect you to mother these people. Show them grace and love in a more appropriate way." Kappa's voice almost seemed like he was chastising her. She let out a laugh and gave him a playful shove.
"Is that what you do? Make these girls suck your cock and call you daddy?" She teased but Kappa rolled his eyes.
"Why do you feel the need to buck against everything I say? Is it so hard for you to listen to a simple command? Keep your fucking hands to yourself and there won't be any problems." Kappa said again and Y/n pouted.
"What kind of problems am I causing exactly? Last I checked, you like when I put my hands on you." She ran her hands down his chest and he watched them slither all the way down to his belt.
"Me...I like when you put your hands on me...only me." Kappa put his hands on top of Y/n's and she licked her lips.
"You know what you have to do if you want me to behave. I'm not going to share my body with you and have you whore yourself to everyone in this community." Y/n explained. Kappa didn't like her giving him ultimatums.
"You don't make the rules here sugar. I do. Who I fuck is up to me." Kappa's words made Y/n sigh as she took her hands off of his belt.
"How disappointing." She patted him slightly on the chest before walking back over to the others, spinning one of the girls around as she danced to the music coming from one of the vans. Kappa continued to watch from afar as she moved about the camp. She had completely disregarded what he had said about keeping her hands to herself.
"Would you like a massage Kappa?" One of the girls had approached him as he sat in a chair and he shook his head. She wasn't the only girl he shooed away that day. He continued to reject the advances from the other women until she he saw Y/n enter his trailer. He walked in a few minutes after her and she turned to face him.
"Would you prefer to bring your girls in here tonight or will you be fucking them in their own beds?" Y/n asked, a hint of a challenge in her tone. Kappa clicked the lock on the door behind himself before pressing his body against hers.
"You don't listen to anything I say." He gripped her neck, letting his palm hold her jaw.
"I have a daddy, I don't need another." She replied tilting her head away from his hand. He responded by gripping her jaw tighter.
"I don't want to be your daddy. I want to be yours...and you mine. Only mine....only yours." Kappa had conceded to her. She smiled slyly moving his hand from her jaw down between her legs. She had already gotten rid of her panties and allowed him to dip his fingers into her wet pussy briefly. Kappa pulls his hand back and looks at how wet she already is.
"You want me to be all yours, make me yours then." Kappa dipped his wet fingers into her mouth and she sucked her own juices from his filthy fingertips. Her hands yank his belt open and he pushes his pants just far enough down to free his cock, lifting her onto the counter and letting her guide him into her dripping cunt. They both make noises of pleasure, as this was the first time he had actually fucked her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her hands into his greasy hair.
"That's it. Just like that. Make me yours." She moaned letting her head fall back against the cabinet, banging it roughly a few times as he bucked his cock up inside of her.
"You were made just for me. No one else will ever feel you like this." Kappa bit her breast and she groaned.
"Show the world I am yours Kappa. Show them why they can't touch what's yours." She praised him, running her hands down his back and grabbing his bare ass cheeks to try and shove him further inside of herself.
"I'll kill them. I'll kill them all if they ever touch you." Kappa's thrusts started to become sloppy and Y/n knew he was going to cum soon.
"I'm almost there. Fuck me harder Kappa, please!" She begged but Kappa couldn't hold off any longer as he came inside of her milking his cock inside her walls before removing his spent cock and replacing it with three of his fingers.
"Come on baby, cum on my fingers. You can do it. I want you to cum." Kappa held her gaze, one hand on her throat, the other shoving his cum inside of her pussy and expertly using his thumb to circle her swollen clit. Her moan turned into a scream and he felt a rush of her own release running down his palm. He quickly slipped back inside of her with his semi hard cock and her legs started to shake atop the counter.
"Shhhh shhh it's okay. It's okay. I've got you darlin." Kappa cooed at her as he slowly pushed his cock inside of her to keep both of their cum inside of her, a squelching noise vulgarly filling the silence of them trying to catch their breaths.
"Say you're mine." Kappa rested his forehead against Y/n's, feeling her breath against his face.
"You say you're mine first." She demanded making him chuckle.
"I am yours, only yours." He bumped his forehead against her own. She was hardheaded but he liked that about her. She opened her eyes and kissed his lips softly. It was a sweet gesture that they had skipped right over in the beginning of things but now felt so loving.
"And I am yours, only yours."
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jessjad · 3 days
Text
Unexpected
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Chapter 10
Summary: After a Halloweenparty Y/N actually didn't want to got to, her life seems to be turned around. The reason is a very stubborn Supe that seems to have her in his visier. Is it just a coincidance or more?
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader
Word Count: 2657
Warnings: Some language, a stubborn Ben, kidnapping
A/N: How far have these two idiots come? And now it all seems to fall apart. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy!
My Masterlist Series Masterlist
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Something was off. Y/N could feel it. Ben was stalking around the apartment and looked out of the window every few minutes, his phone in hand. They did not talk to eachother, thouh. Y/N was still hurt about his words. It had not been an easy thing to tell him about her sister and let him see the vulnerable side of herself. After all he was still a supe. One she maybe should've not trusted so much so fast.
And after she had kicked him wordlessly out of the bedroom he stayed in the living room. He also did not apologize in any way. She was lucky when Ben's gaze drifted to her for a few seconds. Y/N could feel him pulling away, the distance between them almost noticeable. The woman should be relieved, but she had never felt so alone in her bed. Huh, how fast he had carved a place into her life and her heart was unbelievable.
"What... is happening?" asked Annie with a confused look.
The blone supe had come up to do her daily shift but as soon as she stepped over the doorstep, she could feel it too. Ben did not take notice of her whatsoever and so she walked over to Y/N.
"I don't know. He's... been like that since I got up this morning."
"Okaaaayyy... and why are you not talking to eachother?"
"It's..." for a second Y/N looked down into her mug to not give her hurt feelings away. "It's complicated..."
"I bet..." Annie replied, but she could see right through her friends attitude.
"You want a coffee?" Y/N asked after she pulled herself together again.
"Sure, thanks."
As Y/N took out another mug from the shelf to pour some black gold inside of it, a second mug appeared right next to the other. The strong hand still holding on to the porcellan left no room for speculation who it was. Ben did not say a single word, but his scent infiltrated her personal space and made her puls pick up a little speed. Again, wordlessly she poured him some coffee too.
It was the first time since their little argument that Ben was so close to her again. Only millimeters between their bodys and he wanted nothing more than to touch her, kiss her drunk and fuck her hard on the kitchentable. He just wanted to show her that no matter what he said or did, that she was still his. And it took nearly everything in him to not do it. Y/N was angry and hurt and he knew it was all his fault. But that did not mean, that he was the one who needed to fix this. He had more important things to do. Especially after the phone call he got last night.
"What did Grace Mallory say to all that has happened in the last days?" Y/N turned to Annie and tried to take her attention away from Ben.
"Well... she did not like it, of course. It ruined her whole plan. And the two of you will not be able to go out and trick everyone anymore." with a little milk in her coffee, Annie took a sip of her own and smiled upon the good taste.
"I still don't get why that was so important to her." Y/N sat down and her friend followed along.
"It would've made Homelander furious, if Soldier Boy would become more likeable than him. I mean, we all know that he's only looking out for recognition. He wants to be loved by everybody. He wants to mean something to the people."
That were no news to Y/N, but it gave her an idea of what Mallory had in store. And it made sense. At one point Homelander woul've been so out of it, that he would probably made a mistake and then Ben could've stepped in and safed the day. It would not be an easy plan, but she could see the potential in it.
"What he did to Ryan was definitly not on her agenda of things that could happen. And Butcher was really furious. But he has no say over the boy anymore."
"How is he doing?" Y/N knew that he was in a critical condition and the shadow that layed over Annie's eyes did not seem promising.
"He survaved longer than the docs had expected, but he is not in a good shape. Mallory tries to get some help from Vaught, but incognito, of course. And yeah... we'll have to wait and see."
That got Y/N thinking. "Is there not a supe out there that can heal... like... anything?"
"I don't know. But once you get injected with Compound V... your body heals automatically. It's just that... Butcher will never become a supe."
And that she got that. Y/N would never want to be a supe too. Not after everything that she knew. She glanzed over to Ben for a second. He was practically immortal. Then she turned her head back to Annie. Her friend did not seem to get sick or hurt either. Must be a cool thing, to be barely untouchable. But was there not a way to make use out of this for others who needed help, like Butcher needed it right now?
"Have you... thought about going to a doctor once this is over?" the blonde woman whisppered her question, as if Soldier Boy could not hear her.
Y/N furrowed her brows. "Why should I?"
"Well, because he..." Annie pointed to the man who was now standing at the window again to look out to the street with her thump. "... is still radioactive. You should at least get that checked out."
Y/N' eyes widened in shock. "What???" now THAT was something noone had told her.
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While Victoria observed the monitors in her little secret hide out outside of New York, when Homelander, again, came to pay her a visit. She aleady knew he nearby as soon as he landed. Thanks to the cameras outside of the old factory building. It had been to long since the last time he came over to pressure her. Stealing herself inside she needed to keep her cool.
"Johnson?" she called out the man that was sitting on the table in the middle, removed from his position and sentenced to watch everything unfold. "You should better leave the room now. All of you should leave."
She turned around and the other men looked at eachother a little confused but complyed. "This could get messy and we don't want to have any innocent eyes involved..."
It did not take long after the men left the room until Homelander stepped inside.
"Hello, Victoria. Got any news you might want to report to me?"
With a formal smile Newman turned to the blonde supe and told him the same things Johnson and Harlow had told her the days before. She even showed him the pictures and videos. Unfortunatly, that was all she could tell him. Soldier Boy simply couldn't be found. Like a magician he disappeared just before anyone could find or track him. But Homelander did not like that at all.
"This is all?" one of his hands that he had crossed behind his back came forward and pointed to the screens and still pictures of his subject of anger. "It's been weeks... and you have nothing more to tell me?"
"Like I said, it's not that easy. He seems to have some kind of help, but we don't know who it is."
John huffed a little. "I'm really disappointed, Victoria. I thought you could do more for me."
"What else am I supposed to do? It's not like we can walk around on the street and call out for him."
"That might be true, but still I thought you would come up with more. See, the world needs a sense of achievement. They love me. And what would be better than me... catching Soldier Boy and finally getting rid of him. Freeing the world of a false god..."
With a triumphant gleam in his eyes he stared at a point on the wall, his mind diving in some kind of heroic endgame. Victoria on the other side needed to think fast. She had to get Homelander out of the way without revealing her ace up her sleeve.
"How is Ryan doing?"
That brought back Homelanders attention in no time. "What?"
"I mean, after what you made him do... is he feeling alright?"
Homelanders eyes turned cold and she sported that angry smile on his face that everyone knew from him. His jaw tensed and he took a few seconds before he spoke again.
"You find me Soldier Boy." he took a step forward and pointed a finger to the woman infront of him. "Or I'll find your daughter."
And with that Homelander left again. When Victoria saw how he eventually flew away she took a breath of relieve.
"Rodrigez? O'Donnell?" she called loudly and two tall men with broad shoulders stepped back into the room. "You have a job to do."
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Later that day, Annie had already taken off, Y/N came out of the bedroom. She needed to talk to Ben. The whole radioactive thing had started to worry her. And she did what every normal person did, eventhough she knew you actually should not do it. She searched online for anything she could find on the matter and it did not sound promising.
But that was not all that worried her. Just like Ben or anyone else did not tell her that he was radioactive, so did she not tell anyone that she had an DNA defect. In general the defect did not affect her and she did not notice it at all. But this new information complicated things. It made it so complicated that she really wanted to see her doctor. Only problem was that Ben probably would not let her leave.
"Ben?" she made herself known. "I need to talk to you."
"What?" he said, not really listening to Y/N and his eyes glued to the screen of his phone.
"Ben..." she tried again.
"What the fuck do you want now?"
His words sounded harsh and he still did not look at her. The sting in her heart hurt a little more, but she did not back down. This was important to her and also she didn't want to stay in her apartment anymore. It slowly began to feel like a cage. A prison in her own home and Ben was the guard. This was not how this was supposed to go.
"I need to see a doctor."
"What? No." upon hearing that Ben finally looked at her.
"This is serious, Ben. I did not know that you... were... radioactive and I need to get checked out."
"Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not whining and crying about my inprisonment with the commies and tell everyone I fucking meet about it."
Y/N huffed al little. "Don't you think that this little detail would have been something improtant I needed to know?"
"You're not going fucking anywhere."
Ben turned his body fully to the woman infront of him, his phone not that interesting anymore. He spoke out his decision like he had the right to control her every move. Now anger started to bubble up in Y/N.
"You can't be serious right now. This is not a joke, Ben. It might not effect you, but I'm only a mere human. And we have been together for some weeks now. I was defenseless at your mercy."
"Oh, c'mon. Now you're overreacting." he flung his hand at her, as if her words would mean nothing and was grabbing for his phone again.
"You said you would protect me. But the worst danger was right here in front of me." she concluded.
"Hey!" his head shot back at her and his brows furrowed. "I do protect you! You have no idea how much I protect you!"
"Then let me go see a doctor! This is important to me! I need to do something about it."
"Listen, Y/N..." he said a little calmer and took a step towards her but at the same time she did a step back.
The confusion in his eyes upon her reaction faded to hurt. But he masked it right away with stubborn indifference. Ben straighted his back and rolled his shoulders slightly. Y/N on the other hand hugged herself to feel not so lost i this situation.
"I don't know you, Ben. I don't know you at all. And you don't wanna get to know me. Which is fine. But you could at least give me the chance to live longer, while I have to be together with you. Here. In isolation."
The silence that followed was thick in the air and either didn't want to give in. Every second felt like an eternity that didn't seem to pass by. But Y/N would not stop to stand up for herself. The supe that seemed to try to bent her mind with his eyes did not say a word. But his face told it all.
Suddenly Ben's phone rang and it startled them both. He went back to the coffeetable where he had put it down and picked it up. An unknown number called him and he furrowed his brows again, this time questiongly. He pointed a finger to Y/N, telling her to wait a moment with the gesture and picked it up.
"Hello?" he grumbled into the phone and waited on a response. It did not take long and Y/N saw the change in his face. "What?"
Ben began to turn away slightly and his free hand balled into a fist. His shoulders tensed up and now even Y/N started to worry. But it also took his attention away from her. She stepped back towards the door, slowly as not to bring his attention back to her.
"Are you fucking serious?" Ben exclaimed and rushed over to the window again.
Y/N took advantage of this chance to get out of the apartment. She sprinted to the door, grabbed her back hastly and ran out into the hallway of the building. Shoes fully forgotten she ran to the stairs as she heared Ben call out for her with anger in his voices.
Once at the bottom, she decided to use the back exit, which led her into the backyard. She looked back over her shoulder as she rushed out of the house, but couldn't see Ben behind her. Not yet. It was already late and the sun had long since set. An icy wind was blowing towards her and now she realized that she should have worn shoes. Not to mention her missing jacket.
She ran along the narrow path, past smelly garbage cans, without letting up. At the end of the path she turned the corner and arrived at the next side street. Y/N looked around briefly before running to the left. She weaved past the people who came towards her and stared at her in slight amazement. But she didn't care. She just had to make it to the nearest subway station and then everything would be fine.
She looked back over her shoulder once more, but Ben still didn't seem to be following her. She looked forward again while still running, but not two seconds later she collided with a strong chest. The man who suddenly stood in her way grabbed her upper arms so that she wouldn't fall. She was about to say thank you, but then she saw the guy smiling at her in a strange way. And then someone put a black bag over her head from behind and a strong blow to her temple caused her to faint.
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A/N: Yes, you read that right. These two idiots should've really talked to each other. 🙈
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@lyarr24 @k-slla @leigh70 @deadlydivergentgirl @deans-spinster-witch
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