#sometimes i can express myself other than in screams see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alleiwentcrazy · 1 year

Text

Eddie hates it when people don’t answer his calls. He hates it with passion.

It reminds him of too many things. It reminds him of manhunts and abandoned sheds, and no one on the other side of the line. It reminds him of cold, clammy hands, of hunger, of fear. Breaking bones and eldritch horrors he’d thought existed solely in cheap movies, not in real life, until he was brutally made aware of the fact that when people say everything’s possible, everything is possible.

Every time someone doesn’t answer the phone when he calls, panic starts to boil inside his veins and his brain immediately makes at least a dozen painful scenarios for him to dwell on. He knows that technically, they just don’t know that it’s him. But it doesn’t make him worry any less, so everyone’s learned to respect the rule. They just have to pick up. No matter what. Or he’ll freak out, drop everything he’s doing and come unexpectedly to check if everything’s alright.

There hasn’t been a single situation when things were actually bad—people go get groceries, take solid, deep naps, or they’re simply too lazy to pick up sometimes—but he always does that. Always.

Especially if it’s Steve who doesn’t answer. What if he fell? Or someone mugged him? Or he got into a fight? This brain can’t take any more damage. What if he’s in the hospital now, waiting to be anesthetized before surgery, and no one’s called Eddie yet, because to society they’re just some dudes living together?

There are too many options. Eddie doesn’t like taking chances anymore, so he slaps the “I’ll be back in a few” sign on the door, closes the shop and speeds through the town like he has nothing to lose. (And it’s quite stupid, because he has too many things to lose now—but he’s allowed to freak out once in a while.)

When he gets there and sees Steve pacing and gesturing animatedly in front of the window of their tiny but awfully cluttered kitchen, he finds out exactly what it means to have the whole world on your shoulders. Or, rather, to be finally freed from the pressure it creates.

It’s okay. It’s just a stupid phone call. It wasn’t even important, anyway.

Despite that, he takes his helmet off. Won’t hurt to remind Steve of the rule. And maybe kiss his pretty face a little while he’s here.

He doesn’t even have to enter their apartment to know that Steve’s not alone. First off – if Steve’s pacing and rambling, an anxious trait he’s picked up from Robin, wasn’t a hint enough – it’s loud. Their paper walls can barely hold back a normal conversation, let alone something resemblant of a heated discussion. Honestly, Eddie has no idea how their neighbors can stand them sometimes, with his metal, their late-night conversations and non-conversations alike, with the kids visiting so often. Although Steve is optimistic (they have some lovely neighbors, like sweet Gran Fran, but don’t ever let Eddie express his opinions about that old hag from across the hallway, Miss Hermans), he’s still waiting for that complaint to be filed.

Second, he smells coffee. Steve never makes coffee for just himself.

Eddie opens the door gingerly, remembering how easy it is to completely unhinge them by accident, and is about to scream something about getting home, when none other than Dustin Henderson cuts him off with a shriek.

“—because it’s actually pathetic, that’s why! Get a grip, man, just do it!”

“Oh, it’s so easy for you to say, because you’ve never actually tried—”

“And maybe I never will! If you won’t do it, how can I learn how to do it myself? You know that you guys are the closest thing to father figures!”

“Hey, don’t make it about yourself for once, maybe? Some humility?”

Dustin’s quiet for a second, but Eddie knows he’s not about to admit full defeat. “Yes, sorry,” he chokes out, finally. “But you’ve tried so many times, you should know that it doesn’t get any easier on another try. Just do it, it doesn’t matter how.”

“It does, though! To me, it—it does. It matters,” Steve mumbles back, and Eddie can picture his face in perfect detail. It’s Steve’s small voice, which means he’s worried about something, even though his worry doesn’t make any sense in everyone else’s eyes. He’s unsure: his brows are pinched, lips pursed, stare skittering around the room, never focusing on anything. Dustin knows this face too, because his tone gets softer.

“Okay, then walk me through it.”

“What?”

“Walk me through it. You’ll know what you want, how you want it, when and where, and it’ll be easier when you try it next time.”

“Dustin, I really don’t—I’m not sure it can get easier, ever.”

“Because you’re scared.”

Steve sighs deeply before he responds. “Yes. Because I’m scared.”

“It’s been eight years, Steve. What are you scared of?” Dustin’s voice is gentle, curious. He’s not judging, he genuinely wants to know the reasons, and so does Eddie. He leans against the wall, trying to sneak a peek of the kitchen unsuccessfully, and listens. A while passes before Steve speaks again.

“I think—There are so many things I’m afraid of. But the main one… It’s still rejection. Not being enough. Because it’s not like it’s anything formal, right? It’s only a promise, and if it ends up turned down…”

Chair legs scrape the floor and Eddie can hear two soft slaps – hands on shoulders, probably.

“Steve Harrington. Calm down. You know it’s not going to happen—no, don’t argue. I know it, and this alone should be enough. You are an amazing person. You’re great with people, you’re bright, you’re sweet, caring, you have so many talents. I love you, Steve,” the pause that follows is filled with something so heavy there’s a shift in the air. It has a different smell now. A little salty, a little warm. “And he loves you. More than you can imagine, probably. So just pop the question, Steve. And don’t back out with some stupid excuse like this morning.”

“Pop the question,” Steve says, his voice firm, only a little timid. “Yes, I think—I think I can do that.”

Eddie bounces off the wall and takes quiet, slow steps backwards. He can’t hear anything else, even though the conversation continues. He bites his tongue hard enough to make it bleed a little. A coppery taste floods his mouth as he closes the door.

Oh, it’s just so, so stupid. He would have said yes. Each and every time, he would have said yes.

Later that day, when they’re lying in bed together, with the sheets rumpled, their bodies warm and mushy from the nap, with Eddie’s lips on Steve’s and Steve’s hands in Eddie’s hair, Eddie remembers the overheard conversation.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Because he hasn’t stopped thinking about it ever since.

Every single second of what, at first, seemed to be yet another annoying Monday, has been filled with reverie and anticipation. Dustin’s right – Eddie loves Steve. He loves him enough to risk hell for him, enough to argue with anyone who’s in any way mean to him. Enough to take his hand and say “You don’t have to be afraid when I’m with you”, even though Eddie’s the biggest coward in the whole wide world.

Eddie loves him. Loves his goofy smiles and scrunched happy faces, loves his moles and the uneven mustache he grows out sometimes when he’s bored. Eddie loves how gentle Steve is, how thoughtful and kind-hearted he is. How he helps Gran Fran replant her flowers each month with more enthusiasm than Eddie’s ever shown to anyone. How he talks to children, how much respect he has for those undermined by everyone else.

Eddie loves how he’s learned to stand up for himself. He’s proud of Steve, of how much he’s grown, of how he knows how to express what he needs and what he wants now. Eddie’s loved him for ages, maybe even longer than he’s aware of, but every single significant and insignificant change in Steve’s behavior and point of view makes him fall a little bit harder, every time. In any shape, in any form, there’s one constant in Eddie’s life: his love for Steve.

He likes to think that they do that to each other, both of them. That they help each other through inevitable changes, painful regressions and euphoric victories alike. He likes to think that together, they make one, healthy, living being – and apart they’re good, because they’ve grown to be good people thanks to the connections they’ve made overall. He likes this idea of just being good, together and apart. And he loves Steve for giving him the opportunity to be just that.

Eddie wants it to last. Desperately, intensely, madly. He wants it to last and he needs it to keep happening – he knows that, and he knows he has the capacity to do that. To be there, to stay. His hands touch Steve’s thigh, not in the slightest covered by those silly Hawkins Tigers shorts he’s kept, then they touch Steve’s soft, scarred belly, then they touch his chest, where his heart is beating steadily and peacefully, and he keeps kissing him and Steve keeps clingling back to him, and Eddie’s so sure.

He wants this. He wants to experience growing old together, he wants them to get all wrinkly and bald together, he wants the fights over who gets the most comfortable chair in their grandkids’ living room. He wants them to experience the highs and the lows of the family that they already have, and the one they’re going to build someday.

Eddie wants this. He wants Steve. The whole deal; the promised forever. And he doesn’t want to wait another second.

“Steve,” Eddie says, cutting the kiss short so suddenly Steve actually pulls him closer, chasing after the warmth of his lips. “I’m saying yes.”

“Mm. Okay,” he mumbles back, too kiss- and sleep-hazy to catch Eddie’s intention right away. He tries to bump their noses together—which is adorable, really, but Eddie can’t let him hijack and self-sabotage this proposal too.

“No, Steve,” he squeezes Steve’s side until he looks at him properly. “I love you. I’m saying yes.”

In awe, Eddie watches as Steve’s face goes through confusion, true bewilderment, a bit of fear and fleeting exhilaration, to finally settle on disbelief.

“How did you—”

Eddie laughs a little at that. “I called and you didn’t pick up.” Steve makes a little oh sound, already looking like a kicked puppy. “But it’s okay, doesn’t matter, not the point,” Eddie jumps in, anticipating an unnecessary apology. “The point is, I love you, and I’m saying yes.”

Steve stares at him for a long second, his eyes wide and earnest. His fingers slide from Eddie’s hair to finally settle on both of his cheeks, cradling them lovingly. Eddie kinda wants to cry.

“You’ll marry me?” Steve asks, incredulous, his voice only a bit louder than a whisper. The way he accentuates the word “marry” gives yet another layer of meaning to such a simple question. You’ll love me? Forever?

“I’ll marry you,” he replies without hesitation. “You’ll marry me?” You’ll love me? With my flaws?

“I’ll marry you,” Steve says back. Then he grins with his eyes glistening in the bedside light, and squishes Eddie’s cheeks so hard it squeezes the unshed tear right from his eye. “We’ll get married!”

Steve giggles happily, and Eddie laughs with him. There’s so much joy inside him—them, the whole room seems to get bigger. “We will,” he adds through a smile, already peppering his fiancé’s face with kisses.

“Oh gosh, I have to call Robin,” Steve manages through his giggles and Eddie loves him so much. “And Dustin!”

So, so much.

#steve harrignton #eddie munson #steddie #dustin henderson #stranger things #st4 fanfic #i've had SUCH a shit and busy month. i'm using them to heal myself lol #i wanted to make them so pathetically in love i accidentally made my eyes fall out of my skull bc of the cheesiness #proposal au #hehe #short and sweet #excuse me if i got too silly. my hand slipped

4K notes · View notes

amandacanwrite · 3 months

Text

Halsin Headcanons For When He's In Love With You/Tav (Ungendered)

I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED TOO SOON

Generously Requested by @cryingoverpixelsetc I can't tell you how much it means to me when people actually WANT to hear about my bg3 brainrot because this game has been my escape lately and also, just a nice little break from the freelance work I have to cram to get done.

(PS if you like these, I am also a writer of my own original stories and I have some WIP's you may like.)

Quick CW|| Some graphic depictions of violence, particularly puncture wounds and viscera, intentions of heavy violence also referenced. In Battle

He trusts you, perhaps more than anyone else, to handle yourself. He doesn't hover, but he always has an eye on you as you tear into the fray.

He always seems so gentle to you that you sometimes worry about your own brutality in a fight. Especially when it leaves you covered in blood.

Because of this, you tend to keep your distance after a fight, too frightened to look into his pretty hazel eyes and see any measure of hesitance or disgust with you. Not that you've gotten used to it, you cant bear the thought of him not calling you 'my heart.'

This is only a fear for you until you got pinned down with a particularly nasty bhaalan cultist. Astarion had already been taken down in the surprise attack, then you were toppled by one of the many in the ambush.

The scream you let out as they sadistically drove their daggers through the palms of your hands was shocking even to you. You felt like a moth pinned to a board--it was too painful to try to break yourself free, even as the assailant wielded his next blade like he was about to field dress an elk.

You'd never felt fear like that.

But it didn't last long. A great cave bear launched through the air and into your attacker, wasting no time before ripping into the soft flesh of his throat and tore it out.

The smell of fear on you was strong, he knew you couldn't fight like that, so he simply stood guard over you, tearing to shreds anyone who got close from what small parts of it you can remember through the utter fear.

It was the after math of that fight when you knew you could never let him go.

He cups your face in his large, warm hands.

"Look at me, dear heart. Look upon me and remember that you're alive. There is no more threat. There is no one to hurt you. I would never let someone take you away from me before nature deigns it so."

The blades, you wept, the blades would hurt to remove.

"They will, but only for a moment, my love. Just a moment of pain before I heal you myself and carry you back to camp."

It's Astarion who removes the blades from your palms and frees you; he has the steadiest hands. But Halsin wastes no time in cradling you close to him, holding both of your hands in his own as he quietly whispers the healing word. You watch as your flesh and tendons weave themselves together. Then he envelops you and comforts you as you cry. Just cry.

How lucky it is that he is so at peace with every expression of you. He takes you as you are at all moments; whether you're bloodthirsty, joyful, or terrified. He basks in it all.

At Camp

Always touching you. Always. To him this isn't a public display of affection. It's not awkward. He loves you, why should he not touch you at every moment he can?

Sometimes it's a small thing, a broad hand on the small of your back as you discuss travel plans with Wyll. A little touch to remind you that he is there, like a tether to safety.

Other times your bodies are a tangle of comfort. Like he's looked for every way he can weave his body with yours. His fingers in your hair, your arm over his shoulder, your leg betwixt his, his wide chest lifting and falling with his sleepy breaths. This is often how you wake in the mornings with him.

Perhaps your favorite, though, is the nights by the fire. He doesn't even ask most days, just places himself behind you and offers himself as your seating arrangements for the night. His arms up behind him as he reclines against a rock or a felled tree, you sitting on his lap or between his lazily bent legs. His husky laughter tickles against your ear, the little hairs on the back of your neck. His rough voice rumbled against you as he regales the camp with yet another story of his youth.

He's a bit of a night owl. You fall asleep long before him most days.

He's also a bit disheartened by how difficult it is to find clothes that fit him in your travels together. Karlach as generously offered to share her clothes with him of course, but...something about her taste doesn't really seem to quite suit him.

(A disappointment to you, considering how nice those legs looked in infernal leather.)

He's the one who does much of the hunting for the party, along with Astarion. Halsin's a shockingly gifted fisher, though most of the fish he brings back to camp have bites in the flesh.

It was unnerving to gale at first, but he learned to live with it when he once brought back a salmon the size of a deep gnome.

When You're Alone

Rarely fully clothed. Not shocking, of course and certainly not something you would ever complain about. He usually just takes his tunic off, he says it feels restrained by it. He feels like he can breathe a bit better when his chest is bare.

No pun intended, of course.

Funny thing though, you always feel its much harder to breathe when he's shirtless.

There are no chaste kisses with this large elf. He seems to not have the restraint.

"I love the taste of you, my heart. It's the finest ambrosia. How blessed I am to have free reign to sate my appetites with you."

He likes to braid your hair and you're not sure why you're surprised at how good he is at it. Braids are a common hairstyle for elves, after all, and the man is a few centuries old. It soon becomes your favorite part of any day.

"I love how long your hair is getting, love. These times with you, my focus lost in your tresses...they have become some of my most treasured memories."

He compliments you often and freely.

One day you tell him about how you worry that you're too brutal to be with him, that you're concerned you'll scare him off one day for good.

"My heart, I spend more than half of my life in the form of a cavebear. I know I have told you how I received this scar. I may treasure the thriving, living of nature but that is only one side of the coin. Nature can be as brutal as it can be miraculous. In you, I see the beauty of brutality. I do not fear it, I admire it."

In Intimate Moments

Potential NSFW below, proceed with caution.

TW|| Mentions of consensual rough housing before...well, you know.

He is...proportionately sized...if you like.

(You do. You like very much.)

You sometimes have to remind him to get his pleasure with you. He is so pleased to be with you in this way that he forgets to indulge himself, even when it would be a moment of shared pleasure.

He loves every iteration of making love with you. He loves to take you fresh after a battle, covered in blood, to remember what it is to live and be alive.

He loves to take advantage of the vulnerability of a bath in the rivers and lakes of Faerun. Seems to particularly enjoy the sounds that come out of you as he thrusts up and into you, the sounds of your bodies muted by the water so he can hear every whimper and hitch of your breath.

He loves to hunt you. More than once you've stolen away into the forests and he gives you a head start. It's some of the most thrilling experiences you've had being intimate with someone.

This is no simple game of hide and seek, it is a true pursuit.

He always finds you quickly and he is fast, but you are faster. It's always a struggle for him to catch you. When he finally does succeed in his quest, you are so lost in the thrill and challenge of the pursuit that it becomes a struggle.

This part he always wins though. Sometimes because your desire for his body takes over your desire for besting him.

Sometimes you are still fighting when he gathers both of your wrists in a single one of his hands and carefully locks your legs beneath his.

He is careful though. He would never do anything without your express consent, without your enjoyment. He may be lost in the moment but he is old enough and wise enough to keep his head.

"Do you still want this, my love? Does your body still burn with need? Or has the pursuit run away with you?"

When you tell him you want this; you want him. That brief tarry into gentleness vanishes. He smiles sharply and turns you over, taking you as an animal in the wild might. Rough and unrelenting.

His hands dig into your thighs, your hips. His fingers tangle and pull your hair.

But when all is said and done, the kisses are soft and sweet. Peppered over your shoulders, down the path of your spine.

He collects you in his arms and soothes you.

"Have you pain anywhere? Is there anything I can get for you my love? You have been so generous with your body this night, it is only right that I take care of you for the remainder of it."

He likes to discuss your intimacy at length. He wants to know what you liked, what you didn't like, what he should change. At first you didn't like to critique, but he pressed you about it once he started to notice changes in your demeanor or reactions in the act. It's gotten much easier for you to discuss these things with him over time.

He simply loves discussing the potential of a family with you. Sometimes enough to be ready for a second round. But that second round is much gentler and more loving than the first. Like he's dreaming of a future with you.

#writing community #writers on tumblr #writing #bg3 headcanons #halsin headcanons #halsin x tav headcanons #Halsin x reader #my writing #romantasy #writeblr #authors #historical fantasy #halsin x tav #halsin smut #baldurs gate halsin #bg3 x tav #bg3 halsin

727 notes · View notes

hydrobunny · 1 year

Text

jump then fall (into me)

tags: fluff, established relationship, insecure reader, comfort, reo reo reo reo reo reo, lots of dialogue actually, they're drinking age, listen to jump then fall !! word count: 1.2k

“do you ever regret us?”

reo mikage jolts from his seat at his computer. the expression he fixes you with as he turns around is almost comical, all wide eyes and horror.

you can’t find it in yourself to laugh.

“what?”

you shift nervously. the satin sheets underneath you bunch awkwardly. “you know. getting together- staying together.”

he rises immediately, emails left for a later time. “what happened.” the words themselves should be a question, but his stiff tone doesn’t make it one.

you sigh, falling back on to the bed. although it’s only been two nights since the two of you checked in to this particular hotel, the bed already smells of reo’s expensive shampoo. “i dont know. sometimes i feel like i’m holding you back.”

his weight sinks into the mattress. “how the hell would you hold me back?”

you drag your hands over your face. “you’re just- you’re so you. heir to billions of yen, future ceo, hotshot football player, and you’re just barely in your twenties. shouldn’t you be out there in the wild getting into scandals every week? but you’re always just... here.”

“y/n.” even through tightly shut eyes, you can feel reo’s intense gaze on you. “is this really because you think i want to be out there making a fool of myself?” his hand gently brushes over your hair. “also, why would i get into scandals when i have you?”

you roll away with a groan. “it's not that. just- shouldn't you have had more relationships than just me? you know, all the first meetings and awkward flirting and shit. you were popular as all hell in high school, but somehow you’re still with me? isn’t it boring?”

his hand freezes, and you feel a small inkling of guilt bleed through your heart.

after a long moment, reo rises from the bed without another word. He grabs his jacket from the chair as he pads out of the room, away from you.

you shove a pillow over your face and fight the urge to scream, sigh in relief, suffocate yourself, anything.

twenty minutes later, when you’ve reached a point of contemplating if those roses in the hotel vase are fake- (they’re in water, but you swear they smell exactly like those essential oils in scented candles)- your phone vibrates from its place on the desk.

you reluctantly lift yourself up, sliding your feet into your waiting fluffy slippers. reo’s computer is still turned on from before he left, some fancy computer program steadily running. you spot a hint of a message thread with nagi before you tear your eyes away.

the notification is from your messages, from none other than reo 🦎💜 himself.

the message itself is pretty short, unlike the usually wordy messages reo sends you consistently throughout the day.

come down to hotel bar. look nice

it takes you some time to actually comprehend the message, more than a few seconds spent blinking at it blankly.

and then you’re immediately digging into your suitcase for anything considered “nice.” honestly, did reo expect you to be able to procure outfits without any hint of the dress code? was he expecting family dinner or clubbing?

and what the hell was even with this request anyway? you were pretty sure your boyfriend had a business meeting in barely forty minutes, and it’s not like you two had ended your conversation on good terms.

either way, you settle on something in between wholesome and provocative, a pretty flattering cocktail dress you hadn’t really even planned on bringing. after a moment of contemplation, you leave your hair down, sliding in a pair of glittering earrings.

honestly, you weren’t even sure why you were trying so hard.

but when you arrive at the bar some minutes later, reo isn’t there. in fact, there’s no one there except for a stiff bartender slowly wiping down a glass. you hesitate from your place by the doorway, shooting off a here. dont see you? message.

he leaves you on read.

it takes you another six minutes of disbelief before you finally walk into the bar, and then it’s a short two minutes of fuming before you call for your first drink.

throughout it all, you see no hint of anyone; no reo, no drunk couples, no rich guests, no one. it would actually be kind of creepy if you had it in yourself to look around or care, but you really don’t.

ten minutes later, it’s when you’re nursing your second drink of the night ( a daiquiri that honestly is not getting you drunk fast enough ) that you hear another human voice.

“haven’t seen you before, pretty. can i pay for that drink?”

your mood immediately plummets as you turn with a scowl, ready to tell whoever it is enough curses to- oh.

reo smirks at you, flashing his card towards the bartender. you stare at him in disbelief. he’s in a completely new outfit from when you saw him last, something that is definitely not appropriate for his upcoming meeting. he has a leather jacket on, for gods’ sake!

“what the fuck are you doing?” you manage to say, realizing that you’re supposed to be mad at him. “do you realize how long i’ve been waiting?”

he pointedly doesn’t respond. “another round please, for me and the lonely lady!” he says before turning back to you. “so. what brings a girl like you here?”

you literally have no idea what he’s doing. you open your mouth to respond - with what, you couldn’t say- but then reo winks at you, quick enough that you barely notice.

the words fall out of your mouth without you even realizing. “what’s it to you?”

he hums, looking you up and down. “is it wrong to want to comfort a clearly sad stranger? come on, spill out all your secrets.”

you fight the urge to smile. “well, if you say it like that…i guess i’m trying to heal my broken heart.”

he responds a beat too late. “really? what idiot broke your heart?”

“no, i was the idiot,” you sigh, looking back towards your glass. “i was a bitch for no reason. got too caught up in my head, you know?”

his hands fly to yours. “i do know. and i’m sure your idiot knows as well. in fact, if i was the guy in question, i would have told you that nothing you can do would hurt me. that any time spent with you is infinitely better than time spent with any other women.”

you meet his eyes and smile. “and if you happened to be that guy, i would probably kiss you right then and there.”

reo swallows, hard. “yeah?”

you lean toward him. “too bad you’re not him.” you stand from your seat, grinning at how your boyfriend sputters instantly, almost knocking over his cup.

your shoes click clack a rhythmic beat onto the hotel floor as you head back toward the elevator.

seconds later, reo’s familiar form bumps into you, arm linking around your waist.

“i think that was first date was awkward enough, yeah?” he says breathlessly.

you lean further into him. “it was perfect. but i think i prefer my boyfriend.”

“good thing you’re looking at him. which means..”

you laugh, stopping. “which means this.”

you tiptoe upward and finally kiss reo. he tastes like watermelon chapstick and expensive rum.

// bonus//

“hey, reo?”

“yes?”

“did you rent out that entire bar so we would be alone?”

his silence is response enough.

I loveee reblogs and comments !! <33

#reo x reader #reo mikage x reader #mikage reo x reader #blue lock #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #hydrobunny #ngl this was supposed to be sae again LOL

1K notes · View notes

munchmemes · 9 months

Text

hozier lyrics, hozier (expanded edition)

❛ i should've worshipped them sooner. ❜

❛ we were born sick. ❜

❛ the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you. ❜

❛ i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

❛ good god, let me give you my life. ❜

❛ there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin. ❜

❛ it's toying somewhere between love and abuse. ❜

❛ no more alone or myself i could be. ❜

❛ [i/you] lurched like a stray to the arms that were open. ❜

❛ i lay my heart down with the rest at [your/their] feet. ❜

❛ i wonder if it's better now having survived. ❜

❛ i'm so tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes. ❜

❛ no better version of me i could pretend to be tonight. ❜

❛ [they/you] found me just in time. ❜

❛ cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done, i need to be youthfully felt cause i never felt young. ❜

❛ it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometimes. ❜

❛ we tried the world and it wasn't for us. ❜

❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

❛ would things be easier if there was a right way? ❜

❛ honey, there is no right way. ❜

❛ i fall in love just a little bit every day with someone new. ❜

❛ there's an art to life's distractions. ❜

❛ love with every stranger, the stranger the better. ❜

❛ all i've ever done is hide. ❜

❛ when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, i feel ike a person for a moment of my life. ❜

❛ but you don't know what the hell you put me through. ❜

❛ it feels good to be alone with you. ❜

❛ there are questions i can't ask. ❜

❛ now, at last, the worst is over. ❜

❛ i know that you hate this place. ❜

❛ there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree? ❜

❛ there's something lonesome about you, something so wholesome about you. ❜

❛ innocence died screaming. ask me, i should know. ❜

❛ there's something broken about this but i might be hoping about this. ❜

❛ we'll lay here for years or for hours, your hand in my hand. so still and discreet. ❜

❛ i'd be home with you. ❜

❛ any way to distract and sedate. ❜

❛ i'm somewhere outside my life. i keep scratching but somehow i can't get in. ❜

❛ don't you stand there watching me, won't you? ❜

❛ don't you join in, you're supposed to drag me away from it. ❜

❛ i'm so full of love, i could barely eat. ❜

❛ [they/you] are sweet as can be. [they/you] give me toothaches just from kissing me. ❜

❛ no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to [them/you]. ❜

❛ you never asked me once about the wrong i did. ❜

❛ [you/they] would never fret none about what my hands and my body done. ❜

❛ if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have you and you would have me. ❜

❛ why were you digging? what did you bury? ❜

❛ i will not ask you where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

❛ just put your sweet lips on my lips. we should just kiss like real people do. ❜

❛ i know that look, eyes always seeking. ❜

❛ i will not ask you why you were creeping. in some sad way, i already know. ❜

❛ you know better than to smile at me like that. ❜

❛ i know who i am when i'm alone. ❜

❛ you don't understand. you should never know how easy you are to need. ❜

❛ don't let me in with no intention to keep me. ❜

❛ it can't be unlearned. i've known the warmth of your doorways. ❜

❛ i'll find my way back to you. ❜

❛ my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man's beliefs. ❜

❛ screaming the name of a foreigner's good is the purest expression of grief. ❜

❛ i feel no control of my body. i feel no safety in [your/their] arms. ❜

❛ all that i've been taught and every word i've got is foreign to me. ❜

❛ it looks ugly but it's clean. ❜

❛ your fight and fury is fiery. ❜

❛ it's worth it, it's divine. i have this some of the time. ❜

❛ you called my name til the fever broke. ❜

❛ i heard a scream in the woods somewhere. ❜

❛ i turned and ran to save a life i didn't have. ❜

❛ i need you to run to me. run to me! ❜

❛ when i was a child, i heard voices. some would sing and some would scream. ❜

❛ don't you ever tame your demons but always keep them on a leash. ❜

❛ you've done me wrong for a long, long time. ❜

❛ after all you've done, i never changed my mind. ❜

❛ please, try to love me. ❜

❛ my love will never die. ❜

#lyrics rp starters #lyrics starters #lyrics rp meme #lyrics meme #sentence starters #rp starters #rp meme #roleplay meme

368 notes · View notes

blissxjj · 4 months

Text

The Apology

Obey me brothers x angry MC

Angst+SFW

Summarize:

The brothers (Lucifer/Mammon/Beel) and MC got into a fight and take a break from each other not talking to one another.

Lucifer

You and him haven't talked in about two weeks it's not even about the argument anymore, he is always so busy and leaving you alone for an extra week was pure torture to your heart, he was away When he should have been at your door asking you for forgiveness, sometimes you wonder if he ever really cared about you

He just came back from a meeting with Diavolo, and was heading to his room when he passed your and heard a quite voice speaking

He opened the door and peeked in to see MC trying to bandage her hand as it was covered in blood

Lucifer barged in and held your hand gently and looked at it for a second before you took it away from him and he said you

"MC please let me see your hand"

"Why do you care all of a sudden go back to work i can handle myself" you said as you tried to tie the bandage around your wound

"MC why must you be so difficult...hey...listen i am sorry about the argument and i apologies for not giving you the attention you need"

You gasped not expecting him to apologies that easily you hand him your hand as he quietly wrapped it up and kissed the back of it.

Mammon:

Fight and arguments don't usually last long with Mammon because he apologies first and fast all the time but this time it was a bad fight and you two been on a break for three weeks

Yep three weeks

Mammon was passing by your room today when you exited he was standing right there, you both froze in place and looked at each other when you immediately notice Mammon's black eye and gasped

"Mammon! Who did this to you!?"

He ignored you and walked to his room you were right beside him walking fast to reach his walking speed and you grabbed his arm gently

He turned to see your pleading eyes for him to both stop and explain what happened but he wasn't gonna go down so easily

"I thought you didn't care about me?"

"I do care you are my first man how could i not care" you said giving him the cute eyes

"Fuck....um- you wanna know what happened?" He asked then said before you could answer "fine i got into a fight in the casino last night" he explained

You sigh and hug him

"I am sorry for our argument the other day and anything i said that might have hurt you in any way"

He can't stay mad after that cute apology now can he.

Beelzebub:

It was bad...

You two haven't spoken in a month both equally mad at each other but you were right how can he let some fangol fan girl hug and kiss him on the cheek for a picture? And he was smiling too!?

You confronted him and he said it was fine but you became jealous and it got into a big argument and you both agreed to stay away from each other until you are ready to have a proper discussion

But Beel can't take it anymore you were right he had to put some kinda of boundary between him and the fans and how would he feel if another male demon did that to you

You were obviously still angry not even looking at him

He approached you after dinner in your room

"Beel please i don't want to deal with you right now i have more important things to attend to" you said

"What's more important than me ?" He said

"That girl you were with" you said bitterly

"Oh come on i realize my mistake please i will never let it happen again"

"It already did happen and you let it happen your apology means nothing to me right now" you screamed

Only after the words left your mouth you realized how bad they were, Beel left and you felt bad

You knew he was bad with expressing himself with words yet when he tried to apologize with words you said that it meant nothing

"Beel wait!" You said

He looked back at you and you didn't know what to say so you just cried and ran to him, Beel caught you in a tight hug

He wiped the tears from your eyes and you said

"I am sorry your apology means alot to me"

"It's ok Y/n, can we just go back to what we were?" He said hugging you

"Yes i love you Beel" you said

"I love you Y/n and i am not done with my apology yet...let's go out and have dinner my treat whatever you want"

Masterlist

#fandom #fanfic #stories #obey me #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me scenarios #obey me beel #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon

116 notes · View notes

supernaturalscribe67 · 8 months

Text

Just Like Mama Used to Make

Words: 6,178

POV: 1st & 3rd Person

Pairing: John x Son!Reader - Dean/Sam x Brother!Reader [Platonic]

Warning(s): Language, John Winchester, Fluff, Mention of Childhood Trauma, Mention of Death, I think that's it??

Summary: Taking inspiration from his father, the reader starts his very own journal. For his first entry, he recalls some of the memories that shaped him into the hunter that he has become.

Request:

Hello, hope you are having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request John/Dean/Sam Winchester reaction to having a brother who looks like their mother and picked up hunting like breathing?

@xweirdo101x

A/N: My very first request! It kind of got away from me, but I really hope that I was able to do your request justice. Hope you like it!~

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Hello

Hey!

Dear Diary

SEPTEMBER 2014

To be honest, I have no idea how to start something like this. I was never one for writing, nor have I been one who can easily express my emotions. I guess I got that trait from the Winchester side of my family. Still, I have thought a lot about Dad’s journal lately. The things that he wrote down. It’s not detailed. It’s nowhere near what it was like growing up with him, but it still provides Dean, Sammy, and me with some information and nostalgia from time to time.

So, I figured ‘Why the Hell not’, I might as well write down some things in my own journal. I’m going to die someday anyway, and I want people to read this and be able to see what my life was like. From the good times that I spent with my family to the bad times when I lost my family. Hell, maybe this journal will get me into a history book someday when someone else discovers the Men of Letters Bunker. Who knows. Maybe I’ll be famous after I die, or perhaps it’s just wishful thinking.

This journal has already turned into a clusterfuck. I don’t even know what to write about. I can’t even think of things to write about. Should I say things about my life? Should I just write down random things I think of throughout the day? I don’t know how to do it. Even when I look at Dad’s journal for inspiration, there’s nothing to inspire in it. A lot of it is notes on how to kill monsters and other stuff is just a bunch of personal bullshit he was going through.

Well, we were all going through it.

I guess I’ll start by writing down some of the memories I’ve had. If I don’t like it, then I’ll throw this journal away and start another one. I don’t want future historians to think of me as some scatterbrained moron, despite what Sammy and Dean say at times. If you’re reading this now, I’m actually the smartest Winchester brother. Don’t believe a thing Sam and Dean say. I’m the brains of the operations and our day-to-day lives. I’ve saved them more times than I could count.

Then again, they’ve probably saved me just as much.

Alright, I’m getting side-tracked. I guess I’ll just start writing.

Should I introduce myself first before I do so?

My name is (Y/N) Winchester. I’m a hunter.

This is my story (God, that was terrible)

AUGUST 1991

I remember the first time I mentioned to my father that I wanted to be a hunter, just like him. I was six years old. Dad didn’t take it very kindly. He yelled, a lot. Screamed sometimes. I never truly understood why he would always get so upset whenever I would ask him to teach me how to hunt.

It wasn’t until I was a man that I understood why.

I look just like my mother.

I don’t know how I could have been so blind all those years. I have her hair. I have her face. I have her smile. All of these things have been said by my father before. Not necessarily when he was sober. I was always the one person that reminded my Dad of his wife. Of my mother. I think a part of him wanted to keep me safe, just so he could always look at me and remember what she looked like. Even when I was a child, though, I could see the hurt behind his eyes every once in a while when he would look at me. It made me feel guilty.

Still does.

I know that none of it is my fault, that he made himself hurt.

Still…

For months, I would ask my Dad to teach me about hunting. To teach me about the monsters that crept through the darkness. Each time I asked, he would reject my request and I would get scolded for asking such a stupid question.

So, one night, around the age of seven or eight (one of the two, I can’t remember exactly), I decided that school wasn’t very important. There were occasions when I snuck out of classes to go to the library of whatever town we were in at the time to search the limited amount of lore books that they had. There were times when I got caught by Dean before I was able to sneak out. Other times it was by Sammy. Sometimes, my father would get a call from the school because I had been reported missing.

I was a problem child, as you could tell.

It’s not that I hated school.

It just wasn’t my favorite.

And I wanted to hunt.

So, anyway…from town to town, I would skip class, go to the library, and learn everything that I could learn about hunting if there was anything to learn. Sometimes, I would ask Dean questions. Sometimes he would answer, other times he told me to not worry about it and to mind my own business. It used to hurt whenever Dean would reject any of the questions that I would ask, but I know now that it was so he didn’t get in trouble with Dad. I remember giving him a hard time about it, about not answering me. Dean, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry for being a jerk.

Then again, Dean, if you’re reading this, you shouldn’t be reading this and expect some glitter to appear in your body wash.

No one knew about my secret research. No one knew the reason behind my skipping classes. I would constantly make up lies, most of them being about how much I hated moving around and just wanted to rebel against my father. Typical kid stuff.

It wasn’t until August of 1991, when I was ten years old, that I was finally able to put that research to use.

(Y/N) stared down at the paper that rested on a notebook in his lap. His eyes were wide and filled with stress, fingers tangled in his short hair, his back slouched ever so slightly. Dean sat a couple of inches away from him near the end of the bed, his homework in his lap, while Sam leaned against the headboard, a book in his hands that he had gotten from the school library. Dean looked up from his work, noticing the look of despair on his brother’s face before he glanced down at his worksheet. Dean grimaced and let out a hiss.

“Multiplying fractions?” He asked, a hint of sympathy in his tone.

Without looking up, (Y/N) gave a short nod. Dean pressed his lips together in a thin line before he set his pencil down beside him.

“Do you need help?” Dean offered.

(Y/N) lifted his head and looked at his older brother, giving a small, soundless nod. Dean offered a smile as he moved closer to him so that they were sitting next to one another. Dean craned his neck to be able to look at the paper, tilting his head as he studied the equations.

“Which one are you having problems with?” He asked.

“All of them,” (Y/N) answered.

Dean snorted. “Okay, so, it’s easy-”

“Wow, Dean thinks math is easy?” Sam mumbled, a smirk playing on his lips.

Dean lifted his head and glared at Sam. “Shut up, bitch,”

Sam shot a bitch-face towards Dean. “You shut up, jerk,” he retorted.

(Y/N) let out a frustrated grunt. “Will both of you assholes shut up!? I don’t understand this!” His voice was filled with annoyance and desperation.

Dean and Sam shot their brother a look. Sam rolled his eyes as he returned to the book. Dean looked back down at the paper, mumbling an apology under his breath. He then began to help (Y/N) with his homework, walking him through all of the problems that he had. (Y/N) still felt as if Dean was speaking in a foreign language, but he could understand the homework a little easier.

When the paper was halfway finished, the door to the motel room suddenly burst open, causing the three brothers to jump, their eyes wide as they turned and looked at the person who had just entered. John stormed into the room, slamming the door behind him. He stomped over to the couch that sat in front of the small television set and plopped down on it. He ran his hands down his face and let a small growl emit from his throat.

Dean, Sam, and (Y/N) shared a glance, almost as if they were communicating telepathically. After a while, Dean and Sam both turned their attention toward their brother, their eyes locked on his. After looking back and forth between the two, (Y/N) let out a soundless sigh as he set his homework beside him. He moved off of the bed and padded across the aged carpet to the couch. Slowly, he walked around the sofa so that he could see his father.

John looked tired. Dark circles were prominent underneath his eyes. One of his legs was propped up on the couch while the other lay bent in front of him. His elbow rested on the arm of the sofa, his cheek placed against his right hand as he stared at the television in front of him. Nothing played. When (Y/N) came into view, John glanced at him out of the corner of his eye for a brief moment. He said nothing.

“Hey, Dad,” (Y/N) greeted. “Um…how were the, uh, interviews with the victims’ families?”

John shook his head. “Not great, kid,” he grumbled.

“No?”

“No.”

As (Y/N) stared at his father, he timidly moved over to the couch. John hesitantly moved his leg as (Y/N) sat down next to him.

“Did you…learn anything?”

“Why aren’t you boys in bed?” John grunted.

“We’re finishing our homework.”

“Then shouldn’t you be working on it?”

(Y/N)’s shoulders slouched. “I just…wanted to see how it went is all…”

“You want to know how it went?” John’s voice got deeper. “You really want to know how it went? Fucking terrible. That’s how it went,” John straightened himself out on the couch before he stood up. He began to pace around the room, his tone of voice getting more and more irritable. “I thought I had a good fucking lead going. All of the victims went to the same fucking bookstore a couple of days before their deaths and got the same book. Seems like a fucking coincidence, right? Then I go to the goddamn bookstore to see what the book was and all it was was something called Aradia or some shit like that. Some type of foreign book bullshit, I don’t fucking know.”

(Y/N) furrowed his brows as John continued to rant. He looked down and away from his father. He got lost, deep in thought, the words that John was speaking irrelevant to him now. Finally, he turned back to him, kneeling on the couch as he raised his brows.

“Did you say Aradia?” He questioned in the middle of John’s rant.

John stopped pacing around the room as he looked back at (Y/N). Dean and Sam’s attention immediately turned to him, their eyes wide. John’s jaw was clenched, the anger and irritation still emanating from him. “Yeah,” he replied deeply.

“Aradia…” (Y/N) trailed before he shook his head. “That’s not a foreign book, Dad! That’s only the first half of the title. The full title is Aradia or the Gospel of the Witches. It was one of the most influential pieces of literature in the nineteenth century to witches! You’re dealing with a witch!” (Y/N)’s eyes widened as a smile appeared on his face.

John’s expression went from furious to confusion. He narrowed his eyes. “How do you know about that book?” He questioned.

“I read about it in a library a little bit ago.” (Y/N) answered quickly.

John pressed his tongue into his cheek as he slowly nodded his head. He looked at Sam and Dean, who were still staring with wide eyes at their brother, and then back at (Y/N). He ran a hand down his face stressfully.

“You boys finish your homework,” he mumbled as he walked towards the door. “I have to make a call.”

Without allowing anyone to respond, John left the motel room, closing the door behind him a little gentler than when he entered. (Y/N)’s smile faded as he watched his father leave, his shoulders dropping. The three brothers sat in silence for a minute before they looked at one another.

“Come on,” Dean said as he patted the spot on the bed next to him. “Let’s finish these math problems.”

Even though Dad never told me, I knew I was right. I knew it was a witch that he had dealt with. We didn’t even get to go to school the next day. He had found and killed her before I was able to turn in that math homework. What a waste of time.

I would like to think that Dad was proud of me in that situation, but he never said anything. He never brought it up again as far as I can remember. It was something that he had put in the past, along with all of the other hunts that we had been on. However, even if he wasn’t proud of me back then, I was proud of myself. Proud that I was able to help my Dad even if I wasn’t beside him when he took that bitch down.

God, I hate witches.

MAY 1993

I didn’t touch a gun until I was twelve years old. By that point, I had stopped begging Dad to teach me how to hunt, because it seemed that the only answer I was going to be getting was ‘No’. I figured that I would go to the next best person for the job.

I had to ask Dean.

Dean was very protective of Sammy and me when we were younger. He still is super protective of us, even in our ripe old ages. But because of how protective he could get, he was very hesitant about teaching me how to shoot a gun. However, with Dad talking about Dean going on hunts with him more and more by then, I knew that I would be left alone with Sammy. I used the excuse that I needed to learn how to shoot a gun eventually so that I could protect the two of us when we were by ourselves. I couldn’t be expected to be safe when the only two people who knew how to shoot were away.

That reasoning caught Dean’s attention.

After the fifth or sixth time asking him, Dean had finally agreed. A couple of days passed and, when Dad was a couple of towns away gathering information for a hunt, Dean and I skipped school. Shocking, right? I think Dean used the excuse that I hadn’t been feeling well and he had to take care of me. He even wrote out a fake doctor’s note and everything. Back then, you could get away with a handwritten note. I’m not too sure if you could now.

Once Sammy had been dropped off at school that day, Dean and I walked to a creek a couple of miles away from the school. He had set up a couple of cans on a log, some recycled stuff that he had picked up along the way. He had brought one of Dad’s small handguns with him. When he gave it to me, it felt so surreal. So different.

I never really understood what the big fuss was about, though.

Shooting a gun was easy.

“No, you can’t have your hand that low! You have it that low and the gun is going to come out of your hand when you shoot it,” Dean grumbled.

Dean took (Y/N)’s hand in his and adjusted it so that it fits perfectly onto the grip of the handgun. He then took his other hand and placed it on top of the one that was already on the gun. (Y/N) furrowed his brows as he looked at the way his hands nestled against one another.

“This doesn’t feel right.” He said. “Why can’t I just hold it with one hand like the cops do in the movies?”

“Because you’re twelve, dummy. You’re not in your forties and have years of experience under your belt,” Dean rolled his eyes. “And that is exactly how you should hold it if you don’t want to get hit in the face with your weapon after you fire it.”

(Y/N) listened intently to what his brother was saying, giving him a small nod before he straightened his back up.

“Stop.” Dean held up a hand.

(Y/N) shot Dean a confused look. “What?”

“You’re standing wrong.”

“I’m standing wrong…”

“Yeah, here,” Dean walked over, pressing his hand against the top of (Y/N)’s back ever so slightly, leaning him forward. “If you have your back too straight, then you’re more likely to fall backward. You also,” Dean kicked (Y/N)’s feet apart. “Need to have your feet apart. Keeps you more ground.”

(Y/N) looked down at the ground for a moment, taking in the appearance and feel of his stance. The way his back leaned forward and the way his legs were spread. He nodded.

“Okay, now I shoot?”

“Is your safety off?”

“Safety?”

Dean sighed, moving back over to him. He took the gun from (Y/N)’s grasp and flashed the left side of the gun. “You see this little trigger?” When Dean received a nod from his brother, he continued. “If it’s facing side-to-side, that means the safety is on. That means the gun won’t fire. All you have to do is flick this little switch,” Dean turned the safety off. “Once it’s up and down, then that means it’s ready to fire.” He handed the gun back to (Y/N). “Now, get back into position.”

(Y/N) glanced down at the safety mechanism on the gun for a moment before he nodded. He got back into the position that he was in, spreading his legs apart the same length Dean had and slouching his back forward ever so slightly. Once he received a nod of approval from Dean, (Y/N) lifted his arms, cocking his head to the side. He aimed at the can farthest to the left. He closed his left eye and placed his finger on the trigger.

“Stop!” Dean said more abruptly.

(Y/N) jumped and moved his finger off the trigger, standing up straighter to face Dean. “What!?” He asked exasperatedly.

Dean shook his head. “You can’t have one eye closed.”

“Why not? Snipers do it!”

“Because snipers are far enough away from combat. They need to look through a scope to get a good shot. You, on the other hand, are feet away from whatever monster you’re dealing with. What happens when you’re facing more than one monster? You leave yourself open to being taken out on your left.” Dean’s tone was stern, yet calm. His arms were crossed over his chest.

Slowly, (Y/N) nodded as he grasped an understanding of Dean’s thinking. “Both eyes open?”

“Both eyes open.” Dean backed up a bit. “Back into position.”

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath before resuming his position. Legs spread, back bent, arms up, head tilted, both eyes open. His goal was to hit the used can of peaches that sat on the outside of the log. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest from anxiousness and anticipation. He was surprised the gun wasn’t shaking in his grasp.

His eyes were on the cartoon peaches that were etched onto the label of the can. More specifically, the pit that sat in the center of the peach. He wanted to hit the pit. He never moved his eyes from the pit as he took a deep breath, his shoulders rising. Finally, as he exhaled, his shoulders dropping, he pulled the trigger.

The can flew into the air and seemed to dramatically and unceremoniously fall into the creek. A small splash echoed in (Y/N)’s ears, accompanied by the ringing of the gunshot.

One thing that (Y/N) noted was that his hands ached, both from the vice grip he had on the gun and the recoil that he hadn’t expected. Sure, Dean had informed him about it before, but he wasn’t sure how it would feel. His hands would definitely bruise.

(Y/N) lowered the gun, looking over at his brother to see that Dean wore a stunned expression on his face. Dean’s mouth hung open as his eyes were glued to the can that lay in the flowing water. (Y/N) watched in silence as Dean walked over to the can. He reached down and picked it up by the opening, wincing from the heat of the bullet hole before he swapped hands. He studied the can. It seemed like too much time had passed before he turned the can so (Y/N) could see.

(Y/N) had gotten it on his first try.

The bullet hole?

Right in the pit.

(Y/N) raised his brows, a mixture of pride and surprise coursing through him. A wide smile appeared on his face. Similarly, a smirk appeared on Dean’s lips. Dean chuckled before he tossed the can into the water.

“Beginner’s luck,” he said, brushing his hands onto his jeans. “Let’s see if you can hit the other ones.”

I shot through the rest of the cans, the same as I had done for that can of peaches. Not to toot my own horn, but I was a natural when it came to a pistol. I don’t mean to sound egotistic about this, but Dean can back up any statement that I’m making about this story.

I could tell that Dean was proud of me that day. He never said he was, but the way he looked at me and the way he treated me afterward told me things that words couldn’t. It’s hard to describe, but it almost felt like he had gained some respect for me that day. It felt good. Even as I am writing about this story, I can’t keep the smile off my face. I always looked up at Dean, so it feels great to think that I had done something to bring a smile to his stupid face.

My hands hurt like hell after it was all said and done. I had gotten a couple of bruises near the thumb on my right hand that I brushed off to my Dad as something that I had picked up when I got into a fight at school. Dean had backed me up when Dad got on my ass about it. Dad told me that I had to get along with the other kids so I didn’t give the wrong impression at the schools I went to. It wasn’t like they would remember me anyway. Of course, I didn’t tell him that. I knew when to bite my tongue.

Dad never found out about the shooting practice. I get a feeling that he had a sneaking suspicion as soon as he took me to practice himself years later, but I never told him about it. I never told him that Dean had been the one to teach me how to stand correctly, or where to find the safety of a gun. I know that he knew it was Dean. A part of me wonders if Dean ever got in trouble for it, or if it was something that Dad even brought up. I would never ask Dean about it now, though.

Some things are best to be left in the past.

NOVEMBER 1999

By the time I turned eighteen, I had already been on several hunts with Dad and Dean. The majority of the time, though, I would stay back and watch Sammy. Even though he was a teenager and had the capability of taking care of himself, Dad expressed that he was still a kid and needed to be looked after. A part of me thought it was bullshit at the time, but another part of me was glad that I was able to spend time with my younger brother.

Now, I know the real reason behind my staying with Sammy was because some of the hunts that Dad and Dean went on were ‘rough’. A little ‘too hard’ for me.

Dad didn’t want to lose the son that reminded him of his wife.

At least, that was what Dean told me, and I believe him.

It was a blessing and a curse, come to think of it. There were times that I stayed behind and Dad called me up, needing me to do some research for the case that they were working on. He had said it would be faster if someone was working on the research while he and Dean were out taking interviews. In the end, it was more efficient. I would gather the necessary information and hand it off to him and they would be back at the motel a lot quicker than if they had been the ones to look up the information.

That was the system that we worked with for a while. After a couple of months, Dad informed me that he didn’t want me to do the research anymore. He wanted Sammy to be the one to do it. I remember him saying that Sammy needed to focus more on the hunting aspect of his life. That school was just a waste of time at that point. He was old enough to get into it.

Sammy hated the idea when I told him. He loved school. He was always such a nerd. Still is. An even bigger nerd if you can believe it. I knew how much school meant to him, and I didn’t want him to be discouraged from doing his schoolwork. He shouldn’t have been forced to do anything that he didn’t want to. So, I decided that I was going to do the research and just tell Dad that he had been the one to do it. Sammy was thankful.

That was until Dad called.

Dad wasn't as stupid as I took him for most of the time. He knew that Sammy hadn’t done any of the research, that I was the one that did it all. By the time he and Dean got back, he gave Sammy a verbal lashing. I tried to defend him, but nothing worked. In the end, Sammy gave in. He would do the research for the next hunt.

Like clockwork, when the next hunt rolled around, with Sammy and I staying back at the motel, Dad had called. He had given Sammy the information that he needed to research and we headed off to the local library. Once we got the necessary books, we took them back to the motel and he began to work.

I could tell that it wasn’t going well.

Sam sat at the small table near the motel room door, two books placed in front of him. His back was slouched as he looked from one book to another, flipping through pages frantically. He had been going at it for several hours by then, evident by the bags that were present underneath his eyes and the redness around his pupils. (Y/N) sat on the couch, watching some old western show. Now and then he would look at his little brother. He could see how tired and stressed he was about the entire situation. (Y/N) had never seen Sam that stressed out before, even when he was studying for a test in one of his AP classes.

Eventually, Sam pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes, lowering his head, as if accepting defeat. (Y/N) studied his movements, and, after he saw that he had not moved in a while, he decided the best thing to do was to help him out. He picked up the remote and turned off the television before tossing it aside. He stood from his spot on the couch and walked over to the table. He grabbed the spare chair, pulled it beside Sam, and sat down.

“Having some trouble?” He questioned.

Sam’s shoulders rose and fell as a sigh escaped his lips. He removed his hands from his face and placed them into his lengthy hair. His eyes were cast down towards the table. He stayed in the same position for some time before he looked up at (Y/N).

“No,” he answered, pulling the books towards him. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“I said ‘I’m fine’,” Sam repeated through gritted teeth.

(Y/N) studied him with an expressionless face. Sam kept his eyes down, looking from one book to another. (Y/N) was able to see the stress that was emitted from his brother even better with how close he was sitting. He took one look at the books before he shook his head.

“I’m sorry Dad’s making you do this.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. You shouldn’t be doing this alone the first time…” he trailed. “But if Dad found out I helped you-”

“You’d get in trouble, and so would I. Yeah, I know.”

(Y/N) pursed his lips. “You know, it took me a little over a year to get comfortable with translating Latin. I sometimes screw up from time to time.”

“Still?”

“Yeah, still,” he chuckled. “That’s why I got something that helps me out now and again.”

With that, (Y/N) stood from his spot on the chair and waltzed over to the bed in the far corner of the room. Beside the bed sat his black duffel bag. He picked it up and placed it on the bed. He began to rummage through it, sorting through clothes and weapons that rested at the bottom. Wedged into the corner of his bag sat a book. He picked it up and brought it over to the table. He took a seat next to Sam once more and placed the book in front of him.

Sam furrowed his brows as he studied the cover. It was a Latin-English translation book. It looked rather similar to the one that he had picked up at the library. The only difference was the color of the cover was a little faded and, along the outside of the book, between all of the pages, were multi-colored Post-it notes. Each Post-it note had different letter combinations on it, as well as notes written on some of them. Sam opened the cover and he raised his brows when he saw that the first page was replaced by a notebook-sized piece of paper, taped to the front page. There were multiple words in English on the left side with their corresponding Latin translation on the right.

“What’s this?” Sam asked.

“It’s a translation book I picked up a couple of years back at a bookstore. I figured since there were going to be a lot of things that needed translating, then I was going to have to make it easier for myself to find the words. The only problem is that most of these translation books are so damn compressed that it’s hard to find certain words without getting blurry vision. So, I took the liberty to mark down all of the times when the letters change in the words. For example, when the words that start with ‘AB’ transfer to words that start with ‘AC’. It always made it easier to find. Plus, I made a page at the beginning about common words that I have found in my research so that it would be easier to translate them.”

As (Y/N) explained, he gestured with his hand toward the book. Sam listened intently, taking in all of the information that he was given, nodding his head. Once (Y/N) was done talking, Sam looked down at the book and then back up at him.

“You did all this?”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) chuckled. “Crazy, right?”

Sam snorted. “Yeah. Wish you put that much effort into your homework when you were still in school.”

“Hey,” (Y/N) leaned back in his chair and lifted his hands in mock surrender. “School was fine and all, but this is something I enjoy, and I’m good at it. I’m good at hunting research and you’re good in school.”

“And what’s Dean good at?”

“Being a pain in the ass.”

Sam smiled widely, his dimples more prominent than (Y/N) had seen in a while. After a beat or two of silence, the smile faded as he looked down.

“I wish Dad could see that I’m good at school.”

The corner of (Y/N)’s mouth curved downward. It was his turn to look down at the table. He reached over and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder comfortingly. “I know, kiddo,” he mumbled. “But Dean and I both see how much of a nerd you are. Don’t worry.”

A smile returned to Sam’s face, but it wasn’t as happy as the last one. They sat in silence for a little bit before (Y/N) lowered his hand and Sam moved back to the books.

“You got it from here?” (Y/N) questioned.

“Yeah, I got it,”

“Great,” (Y/N) said as he stood from his seat and patted Sam on the back. “Call me over if you need anything.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to call you over when I get to the part about multiplying fractions.”

(Y/N) glared at Sam and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“No, no I’m not.”

Sammy still teases me to this day about not knowing how to multiply fractions. Even though it was decades ago at this point, he still likes to tease me about it. Little shit.

With my help, Sammy was able to get the translations done a lot faster than he expected. I remember seeing the relief on his face when he had finished. Poor kid was so exhausted. Dad was more than pleased when he called and asked about it. Dad never found out that I had helped him out a bit, and neither Sammy nor I were planning on telling him. I just wanted Sammy to have an easier time than I did when I was first learning about research, specifically translations.

In the end, I would have to say that Sammy is better than me when it comes to research. He’s taken the reigns on many different hunts because of how proficient he is with technology. I’m good with old-fashioned ways of research, but Sammy’s the nerd when it comes to computers.

Sammy has told me once or twice, though, that I was the one that helped him the most when it came to his knowledge of research. That, without my help, he wouldn’t have been as good at it as he is now.

I call bullshit. Sammy has always been a smart kid.

He could do anything he put his mind to.

SEPTEMBER 2014

This is all I can write at the moment. Dean called me to the kitchen a couple of minutes ago saying that dinner was ready. I need to wrap this up before he or Sammy comes in here and sees what I’m doing. I know that I would get endlessly teased about keeping a ‘diary’. I need to make sure to hide this in a good enough place where neither of them will find it if they go snooping through my room.

Sam, Dean, if you guys are reading this, I’ll get you back.

But if you’re going to read it, I just want to let you know that I love you guys.

Not that I’m into chick-flick moments or anything.

I’m just glad that I have you guys as my brothers. No one could ask for a better family than you two.

Okay, that was cheesy. I wish I wasn’t writing this in pen so I could erase it.

Dammit.

I’m not too sure how to end this, so I guess I’ll just write again sometime when I can. Perhaps I could do like Dad did in his journal and write about all of the new monsters we have discovered over the years. Or maybe write more memories down. This journal is going to be so cluttered that no one is going to want to read it. There’s no way I’m going to get famous from this.

Dean just called me to the kitchen again.

Until next time.

Happy hunting. (That was stupid, think of something better).

WE LOVE YOU TOO - SAM + DEAN

219 notes · View notes

akutasoda · 2 months

Note

Not the biggest Dr.ratio fan but Damm me if he isn't fun to write about...

I BET this mf way of showing love and care is by not only teaching you, but also by actually being patient with it DGBDVDNS

It was not new information the fact that Veritas Ratio did not tolerate idiocy. He couldn't even bear to look at someone he deemed as a moron.

But you were a... strange case. Not the dumbest person Veritas had ever met, but also not someone who would have caught his attention. At best, you could be considered "average," and at worst, "teetering to stupidity."

But even with your lack of outstanding intellectual skills, Veritas' attention was still piqued by you. Call him a hypocrite or a fraud, mention his double standards when it came to you, and he wouldn't care.

It started with something small. Veritas occasionally approached you and begrudgingly helped you comprehend some of the statistics in your reports. And he never failed to point out how much of a hard time you were having with something that was so simple for him.

"Are you struggling with this subject?" "Really?" The familiar condescending tone in his voice made you only lower your head slightly in shame.

He found it annoyingly amusing to see how you acted around him. It was almost charming in a way, how much of an airhead you were sometimes. But he couldn't deny how frustrating it was to see how his words entered and immediately left your head.

Gradually, you could notice more changes in his behavior towards you. Going from him just giving you advice from time to time on how to do your work, to him outright teaching you.

"Wrong answer again." His voice echoed. His gaze felt like two daggers ready to jump you at any moment. How many attempts have already been made? Three? Four? You couldn't remember. "Are you even paying attention to what I am saying?" The answer was no.

"I've had students with ADHD who paid more attention than you." He wanted to say, but a small voice in the back of his head didn't allow him to do so. He couldn't bring himself to say such mean things to you.

With a long and heavy sigh, Veritas pressed the bridge of his nose before leaning closer to you. "I'll go over the subject again, pay attention this time because I won't repeat myself anymore." Even he knew it was a lie, that for you, he would go over his explanation as many times as possible. Not only to make sure you understood it, but also so he had an excuse to spend more time by your side.

Trying to think how this guy would confess his feelings ヽ(o´3`o)ﾉ

and i totally agree! he wouldn't have any other idea on how to express his feelings but he wabts to show he cares.

i can just imagine how he'd want to be so condescending. so mean and rude to you like he normally would be to anyone else, but the little voice inside of him screams at him not too. he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he actually insulted you - his students would know ratio at his worse.

reminds me of that one voice line where he talks about how the' most annoying thing about idiocy is that you can't explain it to an idiot'. however it wouldn't be annoying if he had to explain anything to you but he's so in denial and so confused on how to properly express his feelings that he instead offers his undivided time and dedication. he may be intelligent but he's not that emotionally intelligent when it comes to feelings, love particularly.

#✩↪「q rambles」#✧↠totallynotamanlovers submissions #✧↠submitted rambles and ideas #x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr ratio #honkai star rail ratio #dr ratio #ratio x reader #dr ratio x reader

122 notes · View notes

emotionalmessss · 1 year

Text

Dead End Pt 3

A/N: I didn't think that I would be expanding on this anymore, but I got a few requests to, so here you go. :) (really quickly edited, sorry for any mistakes)

Synopsis: chrollo comes back for his ex-girlfriend who managed to escape his grasp. Non-canon. No spoilers.

Warnings: implied violence, implied murder, yandere, obsession, manipulation, chrollo is a piece of shit, reader is at her wits end, kidnapping, forced relationship, isolation. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Word count: 4.1K

It had been nearly three days since Chrollo and I were reunited. If you can even qualify kidnapping as being reunited. Three fucking days of being stuck in a singular hotel room with nothing to do. Luckily, Chrollo spent most of his time away from me, dealing with whatever business he wiggled himself into. While he was away, he granted me the privilege of being allowed to use the television. He even went as far as to bring me some books to occupy myself from his absence.

But nothing could fill the void of emptiness that grew inside of me. The feeling only magnified when I would roll over from the soft sheets and see that there was a note on his side of the nightstand.

I’ll be back by dinner. Make sure to eat. Enjoy and behave.

Love,

Chrollo.

Love. It was a funny word to me now. I knew that this treatment was far from the act of being loved. The thought of It made the insides of my stomach knot up, clawing their way to the back of my throat. I couldn’t even fathom ever loving a man like Chrollo. I believe that in his own twisted way he does love me, but the feeling was not returned.

Everything that he did was just him attempting to prove that he had control over me. That was it .

Even when he wasn’t here, he was always trying to show the power he held over me. Even in the most subtle of ways. I was brought food once a day by room service when he was absent, knowing that this was a show of it. He knew that I wouldn’t even think about trying to escape or ask for help, because he would kill every single person in this hotel if I tried. Chrollo knew that I would never put the lives of others in danger for my own.

As much as I yearned for the freedom I had worked so hard for, I wasn’t ready to take that kind of leap. Yet .

I rolled over slightly, tossing the note onto the ground after crumpling it. I often found myself doing petty things like this. Sometimes I wouldn’t even eat the food that Chrollo sent to our room, just to piss him off. He didn’t really seem to care, but it has only been a few times. That only pissed me off more. His stupid calm expression, that tiny smile that pulled at his lips whenever I would scream at him - I hated everything about him.

The only times that I could escape him briefly were in my dreams. For those few short hours, I was at peace. I often found myself back at home. My real home. Surrounded by my friends and my family. I woke up crying, missing those small moments with my friends and family and dreading the present. I would give anything to go back to those times and re-write my future. I would have walked in the other direction as soon as I saw that raven haired monster, his real self concealed by a gentleman act.

It would be a lie if I said I didn’t enjoy the beginning of our relationship. Chrollo showered me with affection and anything that I have ever desired. He made me feel safe, and protected. He brought security into my life when I had none. And he tore it all away from me all the same.

There wasn’t much to do in here and I had gotten bored of reading and watching the TV after a few hours.

I would kill to have my phone back in my possession, even only for a moment. I had managed to make a very few select friends during my time away from Chrollo. With my sudden and unexplained absence - they were probably worried about me, because I told them nothing about my past. It was better to say nothing than to try and explain the situation. It would only put them at risk. It would be nice to at least tell them that I was okay and not to worry.

I sighed, checking the time on the analogue alarm clock next to me.

4:35PM

It was only a matter of time before Chrollo came back and I hadn’t even moved a muscle, nor did I really want to. My body was weighed down heavily with mental fatigue. My bones felt like they were filled with lead, making me want to stay curled up in bed all day. I knew that I was starting to feel depressed, but I didn’t want to admit it. My thoughts needed to be clear if I ever wanted to escape.

Just as my thoughts had predicted, I heard the front door opening and closing soon after.

I shifted over in the direction of the sound, pulling the blankets down slightly as I watched Chrollo step inside. He was still wearing his suit and bandana, but he was carrying some bags alongside him. His eyes met mine for a moment before shifting towards the table in the corner.

I moved my gaze away from him, flipping over and facing the wall instead.

“You haven’t touched any of the food I’ve ordered for you.” He hummed in thought. “Why is that?”

“No appetite.” I grumbled back, not really wanting to talk to him. I curled up further into the soft blankets, caccooning myself from his stare.

“You need to eat, darling. Would you prefer I order you something else? I know that-” I cut him off before he could finish what he was saying. His voice was like nails on a chalkboard and I couldn’t handle it anymore.

“I’m not fucking hungry. That’s usually what happens when you’re trapped in a fucking room with no human interaction for days.” I gritted, pushing myself up from my laying down position.

Chrollo watched me from the end of the bed, his expression stoic and unnerving. His hands were still holding on the white bags that had tissue paper sticking out of it. His eyes were scanning over me, calculating his next moves carefully.

“I see.” He said. “You’ll be happy to know that I have made plans for us tonight, so you won’t be trapped in this fucking room for much longer.” Chrollo shifted slightly, moving towards me as he placed the bag onto the edge of the bed.

I glanced down at it. I could tell just by looking at the bag that whatever was inside of it was expensive and well beyond anything that I could ever dream to afford. This isn’t a surprise to me, as Chrollo often bought things that were way out of what I would ever think of purchasing for myself. I stopped asking why by the third time he spoiled me with a purse or piece of clothing that costed three times my rent.

I wouldn’t lie, it did feel nice at first.

“What plans?” I asked, genuinely curious at his proposition.

“I booked us a reservation at the restaurant downstairs. You’ll feel much better after you eat.” His lips pulled into a small smile that never reached his eyes.

Ignoring his last sentence, which clearly wasn’t true in the slightest, I adjusted myself against the headboard. “What if I don’t want to go?”

Chrollo’s head tilted ever so slightly, like he was challenging my words silently. “You were just complaining about being stuck in this room, and now that you have the opportunity to go out, you don’t want to?”

I clenched my teeth at him. “That wasn’t what I meant and you know that.”

Chrollo pushed the bag towards me slowly. “No matter. We’re going. Tonight is a special night.”

I gave him a quizzical look, my brows pulling together as I watched him go towards the sofa. He pulled up his dress pants slightly before he sat down, adjusting himself accordingly.

Before I could ask what he meant by that, he was speaking up again. “Your clothes are in the bag. We don’t have much time.” He didn’t even glance up from his book that was now opened, instead he focused on the contents that looked to be in some different language.

I found myself grabbing the bag and storming off towards the bathroom, grumbling to myself and slamming the door shut. I made sure that the door was locked before showering and doing everything that I needed to do. I put on a little bit of makeup and fixed my hair, which took me longer than I would’ve liked since I hadn’t done it in awhile. I couldn’t remember the last time that I had gotten all dressed up.

My hands reached out for the bag, pulling out the tissue paper and dropping it onto the counter. I pulled out the dress, my eyes taking in every detail as I scoffed. It was beautiful. Of course it was fucking beautiful. I slipped on the smooth satin dress, looping my arms through the thin spaghetti straps.

The fabric was incredibly soft, hugging the sides of my torso before flaring out slightly by my hips. There was a slit traveling half way up my left thigh, showing off my legs. If I moved too quickly I surely would flash somebody. The material left very little to the imagination as it hugged my figure tightly.

“Bastard.” I hissed.

I pushed open the bathroom door, walking back over to where Chrollo sat. He must’ve heard my soft footsteps on the carpet because he finally looked up from his book. His eyes met mine for a moment before he slowly scanned over my body. I heard the soft snap of his book closing before he pushed himself off the couch.

Something other than lack of interest crossed his features for once, his eyes narrowing on my body as he took a step forward.

“I knew this would look great on you.” He reached out for my hand, bringing it up to his lips before placing a soft kiss on my pale skin. “You look stunning.”

I pulled my hand away, not too fast, but quick enough to let him know that I didn’t want him touching me.

“Thank you.” I looked away from his unrelenting stare, instead focusing on the ground.

“We’re leaving now, I don’t want to be late.” Chrollo stepped closer to me again, his arm wrapping around my waist as he guided me towards the front door.

I followed him closely, the rough material of his suit brushing up against my arms. His arm was tucked into the crook of my waist, pulling me along slowly. I carefully balanced on my feet, scared that I would fall on these ridiculously tall heels. Whether Chrollo picked these out because he thought they were nice, or because I wouldn’t be able to run in them - I had no idea.

“I want you to behave tonight. No running. No screaming. No asking for help.” Chrollo broke the silence that floated in the air as we descended in the elevator.

I rested my ass against the railing, giving my feet a small break from standing straight. I fiddled with my nails, choosing to ignore his words. Did he really think that I’d try running away from him while surrounded by hundreds of innocents? Obviously not. He was smarter than that. He wanted me to know that I couldn’t do anything. That I would have to be on my best behavior tonight for the safety of others.

“You’ve been good lately, let’s keep it that way.” His tone was firm and warning, his body turning slightly towards me.

I held back a snarky remark at his words, reminding myself that this was not the time.

“You don’t have to remind me.” I said, pushing myself off the rail as the doors opened.

“Good girl.” He cooed, his arm finding my waist once again.

We slowly made our way through the lobby, which was almost empty at this time. There were a few people hovering around the front desk, more than likely checking into their rooms. Another group of people occupied the couches near the front doors. I noticed a woman resting against the back of the couch, holding onto her child, rocking back and forth while cooing softly in his ear. She smiled as she swayed, kissing the top of his head. She must’ve felt me staring as we passed because she looked up for a moment. Her soft eyes found mine and she smiled, which I returned before glancing back forward.

I moved my eyes up to glance at Chrollo’s expression, which hadn’t changed. His eyes were directed forward while his lips smiled slightly. I didn’t want him thinking that I was trying to signal for help, which I clearly wasn’t.

We approached the entrance for the restaurant, it was located in the far left side of the lobby, near the sliding front doors. The lighting was dim, which was a complete difference between the brightness of the lobby. It took my eyes a few moments to adjust as we stepped inside, blinking my eyes rapidly to see better in the sudden darkness.

I felt Chrollo’s hand drop from my waist as he approached the podium, leaning over and whispering something at the host. The man nodded and grabbed two menus, waiting for us to follow suit.

My legs moved before my brain had time to process, planting myself back at Chrollo’s side as we made our way to our table. The restaurant wasn’t overly busy, but most of the patrons never glanced up from their tables as we crossed paths. I teetered on my heels slightly as Chrollo pulled out the small chair for me, his lips cracked with a genuine smile.

The host passed us both menus before letting us know that our waiter would be with us soon.

I perched myself awkwardly on the chair, not wanting to accidentally ride my dress up further than it already had. The ambience of the restaurant was perfect and I felt very out of place by being here. Luckily it was pretty dim in here, and nobody would be able to tell just how uncomfortable I looked from where we sat.

Shifting my butt against the chair, I looked up at Chrollo, who was staring at me. He looked like he was admiring me, in his own sick way, but I couldn’t be sure.

“It’s a shame that you haven’t been out in such a long time, darling. Someone as beautiful as you doesn’t deserve to be living the way you were.” Chrollo mused, opening his menu and flipping through the pages casually.

My mouth parted slightly at his condescending words, feeling them sting at my heart slightly. He’s kidding, right? He is the reason I had to jump from place to place, living at the bare minimum for months on end. My face attempted to mask the irritability that etched across it.

“It’s funny that you would say that, Chrollo.” I started, pushing myself closer to the table. “If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve been just fine.” I opened up my menu, distracting myself with the options of overpriced dishes.

I heard Chrollo sigh slightly, his eyes moved away from his menu and back up to mine as soon as the last sentence left my lips. I could tell that he was irritated just by the slightest shift in his eyes, but he easily masked the annoyance with another grin.

“On the contrary darling, I’ve provided you with everything that you could ever want.” Chrollo grinned more, his annoyance hidden within his dark eyes. I could feel a small linger of hurt in his aura, but it was miniscule. Almost as if he was pricked by a small pin, causing nothing more than a pinch.

He went to continue, only to be stopped by our waiter approaching our table. He smiled warmly at the two of us before speaking up, “Can I get you guys started with anything to drink?”

Chrollo ordered a bottle of some fancy red that I wasn’t particularly interested in drinking, but it would help me get through his company. He also decided that he would order for both of us, more than enough appetizers and entrees for two people. His menu snapped closed and I felt mine disappear from my grip. Snapping out of my daze, Chrollo was smiling softly at me as the waiter disappeared towards the back with a thanks.

“What if I didn’t want the steak?” I asked, deadpanned.

Chrollo placed the small napkin across his lap and smiled. “You love steak.”

“Maybe I don’t anymore.” I replied, childishly.

“Don’t be so stubborn and ruin a special evening, darling.” There was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

My eyes locked onto his and furrowed my brows. “You said that earlier. Why is tonight special?”

Chrollo hummed, not giving me an answer. This annoyed me. There could be any explanation on why tonight was so special , and not knowing made me anxious. I remember him briefly mentioning that Feitan was in the city and helping him, but he said nothing more. I tried my best to avoid knowing about his business with the Troupe, mostly because I didn’t want to be involved in the sick things that they did.

I pulled myself closer to the table and leaned down closer to him. “Chrollo.”

“Feitan and I finished our work here, so tomorrow we can go back home. I know you’ve been feeling isolated lately.” He smiled up at me, but I could tell that he wasn’t giving me the full truth.

There was that hint of glimmer in his eyes that I had recognized months ago, that look of pleasure that only crossed his face in very few circumstances, and most of them were from unspeakable things. This was the second time that I had noticed it since our reunion. The first was in my apartment, when he caged me in. He knew that I had nowhere to go, and then there it was, that sick twisted expression morphing in place to mock me. My body clammed up at the thought and my mind started to reel.

“That’s it?” I asked, tilting my head to the side as I tried to extract the missing information. “You know that I don’t want to go back there with you, I have my own home now.” Repeating myself for the hundredth time.

“Oh yes, there's something else I forgot to mention.” Chrollo hummed. I watched as he turned slightly, pulling out a small box from the inside of his jacket pocket. “I picked this up earlier for you.” He carefully placed the box onto the table top in front of me.

I glanced down at it, unsure of what to make of it. Cautiously, I reached for it, holding onto the small box between my shaky fingers. I stared at it for a few moments, debating on if I really did want to know what was inside.

“Go on.” Chrollo edged, that same shit eating grin on his face.

My lungs expanded as I breathed in deeply, pulling at the ribbon on the top of the box. The wrapping paper fell apart in my hands and I pulled open the box, closing my eyes for a moment. Light flooded back into my vision as my eyes dropped to the contents of the box.

A phone?

I looked back up to Chrollo in confusion. “It’s a phone? Why?” It was the same phone I had previously, but looked slightly different. I knew this was too good to be true and didn’t make much sense.

“It’s the same one you had before, but this one is newer.” Chrollo explained softly, his voice lined with a small bit of amusement.

I clicked open the phone, scanning through it quickly. Everything looked normal. Maybe he was being generous? My gut instincts told me otherwise, he would never be kind without some hidden motives behind his actions. I scrolled through, clicking on every app that was there in search of some hidden deception.

“I managed to back up a few of your photos from your previous phone.” Chrollo and I made eye contact for a brief moment, noticing that he was smiling genuinely this time, I found my fingers navigating towards the camera roll. “I know how attached you are to your personal memories.”

My jack slacked open as the app loaded up, revealing immediately new pictures that I did not recognize. My vision swam as my eyes tried to focus on the series of photos that appeared on that tiny screen that I held in my trembling fingers. The curiosity I felt moments ago replaced itself with utter disgust and fear as soon as I saw the pictures of the mutilated bodies.

The phone slipped from my grip and my hand covered my mouth before a sound could escape.

My… Friends. He…Killed them all. I shook my head, hand still over my lips as I leaned back against the chair. Tears stung at my eyes, my head swam with fear, making it hard to see straight.

“What’s wrong, darling? You don’t like your present?” Chrollo cooed. “Maybe next time you should be more grateful for everything I’ve done for you, hm?” He taunted, making me squeak and shake my head faster.

This is all my fault. He killed them because of me. Every single precaution that I took for them was in vain. I kept them sheltered, hidden from the truth, but it proved to be fruitless. Chrollo inevitably found them and killed them, because he could. This was his payback for me running away. My short lived escape dug me into an even deeper hole than I could have ever imagined.

I choked back a sob, glancing around the restaurant. No one knew what was happening here, they were all too busy enjoying their food or deep into their conversations - while I sat, crying, shaking, furious. This is why Feitan was in town. His torture methods. He helped Chrollo. I gritted my teeth together so hard that I thought they’d shatter.

“You- you- you fucking monster.” I hissed, my red eyes meeting his gaze.

My fists clenched beneath the table, chest rising and falling in anger. “You fucking-”

“My apologies for the wait.” The waiter interrupted me before I could spew out a slurry of curses at Chrollo.

He set down the wine glasses, filling them up with the red liquid. I gagged slightly and tore my eyes away from the crimson liquid that looked a little bit too much like blood right now. My face flushed and I looked anywhere but at Chrollo, fearing that I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back.

“Your food should be out soon, is there anything else I can get you both?” I refused to look up at the nice man, knowing that my expression would certainly have him concerned for my well being.

“No, that should be good for now, thank you.” Chrollo nodded, smiling cheerfully.

I remained glued to my seat, fighting the urge to run away, knowing that it would probably do no good. But I couldn’t fight off the strong desires my brain sent to my nerves to flee and never return.

“Aren’t you going to have any wine? It might calm your nerves.” He spoke, his voice hidden with a small sense of faux concern.

Tears flowed down my face as I looked back up at him. “You are a disgusting human, if you even qualify as human.” I seethed, teeth gritted together. “You’re sick in the head if you think I’ll ever be with yo-”

“Enough.” Chrollo snapped, hushing my next words as he brought the glass of wine up to his lips. “You don’t want to make a scene, it would be a shame to have to kill an entire restaurant, but I’m not against it.” He warned, placing the glass down.

My mouth hung open. “I’m also not opposed to killing a mother and an infant.” He continued, referring to the couple that I had smiled at in the lobby.

A soft gasp left my lips and more tears of hate blurred my vision. I felt my entire body begin to tremble again, whether it was from the hate boiling up in my stomach or fear, I had no idea.

“Now, be a good girl for me and let’s not spoil the rest of this evening.” My eyes once again met his. His hair loosely framed his dark eyes which seemed to read into my mind.

There was no escaping him.

#yandere chrollo #yandere #chrollo hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter #chrollo lucifer x reader #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #chrollo x y/n #chrollo x oc #long reads #obsession #kidnapped reader #phantom troupe #chrollo

315 notes · View notes

soulofapatrick · 1 year

Text

Comfort in Silence - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: After a particularly tough day, you and Joel sit together in silence, taking comfort in each other's presence. You both understand that sometimes words aren't necessary, and the silence speaks volumes

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: None

Notes: this is a test for me to see if I can write a story with no words - feel free to give me constructive criticisms

Y/N’s POV

I’m so exhausted when I collapse face down on my bed, my muscles aching and body screaming. Another day of patrols in Jackson has left me feeling drained, more tired and drained than usual. It's a tough job, but it needs to be done and usually it’s a fun job, getting to see new places not seen before. I love experiencing the quiet peace the once bustling places now hold, relics of the past frozen in time with no one but us to admire it now.

As I lie there, face buried in my pillow, I can't help but think about all of the things that went wrong today. I was on patrol with Tommy and we encountered some kind of infected that we had never experienced before. Infected are always aggressive but these… they were more aggressive than usual, and we had to fight for our lives more than usual to make it out alive and upon getting back Tommy told me to go home so he could report the losses to the leader of Jackson and his wife. We had lost some valuable supplies in the process, having made a run for medication, and it's going to be hard to replace them.

I close my eyes, letting out a groan and try to let go of the stress and tension of the day but my mind won't stop racing. I can’t help but think about the people who won’t be able to get the medical attention they need because Tommy and I couldn’t do our job properly, the families who rely on us to keep them safe and how we let them down. I can’t help but wonder if we're doing enough, if we're doing it right. A knock at my door snaps me out of the self doubting. As I turn my face towards the sound I see Joel standing in the doorway, his broad shoulders filling the frame. He's wearing his usual attire - a plaid shirt, jeans, and boots - but there's something different about him tonight. Maybe it's the way he's standing, with his arms crossed and a concerned expression on his face, or maybe it's the way his hair is slightly disheveled, as if he's been running his hands through it in frustration.

Despite my exhaustion, a small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I take in the sight of him. Joel has always been a source of comfort for me, even in the toughest of times. And right now, after a long and hectic day of patrols, I need that comfort more than ever as I picture Maria having to tell the families the supply run was a failure. I was a failure. Joel doesn't say anything, he never has to as his actions always speak louder than his words. He sits down on the bed next to me and I can feel the warmth of his body, the steady rise and fall of his breath. We don't need words to communicate. We just sit there in silence, and it's enough. We both know that sometimes, after a tough day, words aren't necessary. Sometimes, it's just about being there for each other, about taking comfort in each other's presence.

I shift myself up and lean my head against Joel's shoulder, relishing in the comfort of him putting his arm around me. We stay like that for a while, lost in our own thoughts and it's a peaceful silence, a reassuring silence. The rough pads of his is fingers gently rubbing small circles on my arm, and it's as if the physical contact is enough to communicate his love and support. My eyes slip shut, taking in the feeling of his warmth and strength. His heartbeat is steady and strong, and I can feel it reverberating through his chest and into my own. I take a deep breath, feeling the tension and exhaustion of the day slowly dissipating as I sink into the safety of his embrace.

I snuggle closer into him, feeling the softness of his shirt against my cheek. It's a simple moment, but it's one that I will hold onto and cherish, knowing that the bond between us runs deep, and that no matter what comes our way, we will always have each other. The day's exhaustion weighs heavily on me, and with Joel holding me I let the silence lull me into sleep, not remembering the last time I felt so relaxed and content.

Joel’s hold on me is firm but gentle, and I feel him shift us so we’re laying down again and adjusts our position so we’re both comfy. His large, calloused hand runs soothing circles over my back still while my face is buried in the crook of his neck and I feel my body relax even more. In this moment, there's no need for words. Our actions speak volumes, and I feel the depth of his care and concern for me. I’m safe and Joel’s here, holding me close and tight as if trying to protect me from the doubtful thoughts that try to poison the peace. Before I can fully succumb to the sleep that has her claws deep in my mind, I feel more than hear Joel begin to hum a gentle tune.

His deep voice is soothing and calming, the vibrations from his chest reverberate through my body, lulling me into a deeper state of relaxation. I feel myself melting into his embrace more than I thought possible, my muscles loosening until I feel like jello in his arms as I become completely at ease in his arms. The hum of his voice becomes the only sound in my world, and I let it wash over me, transporting me to a place of warmth and comfort. As I drift off into a dreamless sleep, I feel grateful for this moment of pure contentment, and for the man whose presence beside me brings me such peace.

------

I’m woken by the morning sun streaming in through the open curtains and to the warmth of Joel's body next to mine, turning around as quietly as I can to see him still sound asleep. His face relaxed and peaceful in slumber despite the lines etched into his face from years of survival in this harsh world, in this moment, he looks so much younger and carefree. I take in the way his chest rises and falls with each breath, and the way his lips part slightly as he exhales.

Before I stop myself I’m reaching out and gently brushing the few strands of his fluffy salt and pepper hair off his forehead, and he stirs slightly in his sleep. I hold my breath, afraid I might have woken him up, but he settles back down without fully waking. A strange sense of peace and contentment wash over me, being here with Joel like this feels so right and I know without words that we both feel the same way. I take a risk, hoping I’ve read every action in the past between us correctly and lean in slowly, placing a soft and innocent kiss to his lips. As I pull back, he stirs again, this time his eyes flutter open for those warm honey orbs to meet mine.

We hold each other's gaze for a moment, before a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips and I let out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding. Without saying a word, he pulls me closer to him, his arms wrapping around me in a warm embrace and in that embrace, we both silently accept the feelings of romance that have been brewing between us for so long. We don't say anything, and we don't need to. We both understand what just happened, and we're okay with it. We share another small smile before snuggling closer to each other, our bodies entwined.

The moment feels almost too perfect, and I don't want it to end. But I also know that we have to face reality and get up eventually but for now, we just lay there, basking in the afterglow of our kiss, enjoying the warmth of each other's presence, and the unspoken bond that we now share with a silent promise to never leave each other alone.

----------------

TAGS: Tag List Form

@words-are-cheap @clover723 @a-psych0s-w0rld @sexyvixen7 @iraot @gemimawrites @pedropascalsrealhusband @twopercentmilk @amythenortherner @sxnshinebxcky @nelsoomon @urnewghostfriend @grooveandshit @reyas-world @canpillowscry @androgynoysgaz @outl4wage @ginger-swag-rapunzel @quinnverses @librafilms @leonkennedyslefthand @notsosecretspy @intergalacticspacemonkey @certifiedhunter @yourmommilf @mediocrewallflow3r @fariylixie0915 @randomhoex @secretsthathauntus @ems-alexandra @pedr0swh0r3 @quinnsgrapejuice @marvelsimps @cutesyscreenname @missmomiverse @midgetpottermills @pedritosdarling @letsgroovetonighttt

62 notes · View notes

double-detonation · 8 days

Text

Double Detonation Chapter 4

Using my quirk at my feet, I accelerated forward faster than I ever thought possible, screaming, "Katsuki!" I caught him before he could land face-first on the concrete. I sat on my knees, holding him up in a sitting position while he coughed up some gunk. I cringed at the sight, patting his back gently. I didn’t really know what to say, my body was shaking as pros closed in on us. Katsuki groaned and turned his head to look at me, a small smirk forming. I looked confused as he spoke, his voice a bit rough from the near suffocation he just endured. “T-told you, th-at, you could move faster.” I frowned in annoyance. “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY JOKING AROUND RIGHT NOW!” I shouted, smacking him gently on the back of his head. He hissed. “Oi, what the hell woman!”

The pro heroes start praising my brother’s quirk for the sheer power he showed when he was captured. No, please, stop encouraging him. His ego is already big enough as it is. I groaned to myself. I looked over, hoping to spot Midoriya. Once I spotted him, I got up and walked over to him, frowning at his expression. “You moron, do you have a death wish!” The walking twig shouted at him. OH HELL NAW. I quickly moved my way over. “There was absolutely no reason to-” I pushed the man with white hair to the side, standing in front of Izuku. I crossed my arms and glared at both of them.

“I don’t fucking think so. There is NO way in hell I’m going to let you talk to Izuku like that!” I growled, looking back at Midoriya with a small smile before scowling back at the two men. “He was the only fucking person who tried to help my brother in there!” I spat. “You should be ashamed of yourselves! You both are heroes. You should be setting an example rather than chastising someone who acted more like a hero than you lot today!” I finished, turning back to Midoriya, seeing him standing and fiddling with his fingers with a small blush on his cheeks.

I walked over to Midoriya, giving him a gentle hug. “Thank you Izuku, I owe ya one, okay?” I smiled at him, causing his blush to deepen, turning him into a human strawberry. “I-I didn't really do anything m-major, it's okay! You d-don't owe m-me anything!” He stutters, waving his hands around nervously. I chuckle softly at his antics. “Seriously though, if you need something, just call me.” I waved him goodbye, heading back towards my brother.

“C'mom, let's go home ‘Suki,” I said, starting the walk home. Katsuki looks at Midoriya with a fierce glare before following.

It has been about a week and a half since the incident. Also, the same amount of time when I decided I was going to fully train my quirk and my body like I was supposed to. The feeling of not being able to do anything when someone I loved was suffering…never again. I started using my allowance money to pay for a gym membership. I purposely chose one that was an hour away so I could get in a good run every other day. I didn't really work out in my past life due to health issues, but damn it felt nice being able to run without dying from exhaustion.

My favorite part of the gym has to be the rock climbing course. I can't just go around parkouring things without getting into trouble, but here, I can do it as much as I want. Though the adults watching get mad at me if I try to do stupid shit, joy killers. I try to improve my time on the course every time I come but sometimes I rush a bit too much and fall, ruining the run. Speak of the devil. “Ahh shit!” I yelled as I missed my footing, and fell on the floor padding. “Damn it!” I shouted in frustration. Knew I should have gone for the closer stone. “That could have been my best time yet,” I grumbled into my hands.

“Woah, dude you good? You fell from the top level.” A guy's voice spoke. A hand reached out towards me.

Hearing a voice next to me, I looked up towards them. My eyes widened at this guy's very familiar appearance. Crimson hair and eyes…oh shit. “O-oh um, yeah I'm good,” I replied, taking his hand. He pulls me up, giving me his signature toothy grin. “That's good, even with the padding it can be easy to sprain your ankle or something.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. Shit, am I seriously meeting one of my favorite comfort characters in person…BEFORE I EVEN ATTEND UA! Kazumi panic mode has been initiated, requesting backup.

I chuckled nervously, starting to pick at the skin on one of my arms subconsciously. “A-ah yeah, that would have sucked, my name's Bakugou K-Kazumi.” I stuttered, offering a slightly shaky hand to greet him properly. God damn it nerves, stop it, you're fine! I swear his eyes fucking sparkled at the gesture. Ugh, why is he such a fucking cinnamon roll in real life too!

“Sweet! I'm Kirishima Ejirirou. Are you new here? I haven't seen you at this gym until recently.”

Recently!? He's fucking been here and I haven't noticed! “N-no I'm not, I don't live near here, I live about an hour or so away. I just use this gym as an excuse to make me run.” I explained.

Kirishima looked a bit shocked. “You run here for an hour!? Do you also run home?”

“Yup, though I don't go to the gym every day.” I'm too damn lazy to do that.

“Damn dude, I'd be too exhausted afterward to go running home, and I live nearby, respect man!” Kirishima laughs wholeheartedly with his sharp teeth showing, making me smile softly. “When do you normally leave?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Eh, about 7:30. Gives me enough time to be home before curfew.”

Kirishima looks excited for a moment before calming himself down. “Would ya by any chance want to spar some? I- haven't really got many friends that would be willing to go to the gym with me- it's okay if that's a no tho!”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket for a second to check the time. I still have about an hour before I have to leave. I shrug, shoving the phone back down. “Sure why not.”

I regret agreeing to this.

I thought I was getting better at hand-to-hand combat fighting Katsuki. But God, he was kicking my ass, and that was without his quirk. Kirishima sent a quick, and hard kick to my side, making me kneel down, gasping for breath. I was on the floor panting, fuck. I almost wonder if Katsuki has been holding out on me, but I know he wouldn't do that. Fucker is too prideful to not go full strength. I held my hand up to signal a stop. “J-Jesus Christ red, what are you made out of.”

“S-sorry didn't mean for it to hurt that much.” He laughed nervously as he helped me up. “I got thick skin, even without my quirk.”

I already knew what it was, but if I was going to build any friendships with anyone, I can't just be some weirdo who knows almost everything about them right away. “If you don't mind me asking, what's your quirk?” I asked gingerly, knowing it was a rather sensitive topic for him.

“Eh..my quirk is Hardening.” He replied with a voice that was a bit solemn, holding out his arm, turning the skin into a rock-like texture. “It's not very flashy but I'm aiming for the hero course of UA, which is why I'm here training.” He said, looking at me. “What about you?”

I frowned at his tone. Poor baby needs to build more confidence. “Mine is called Explosion. As the name suggests, I can make explosions with my hands and feet using my sweat.” Kazumi explained. “I would show you but…I would rather not accidentally blow anything up right now, sorry.”

“It's all good man, but I definitely want to see it one day, it must be pretty flashy if it's explosive!” Kirishima exclaims, his eyes widening slightly. “Oh shoot!” He pulled his phone out, unlocking the screen to the contact list page. “Mind if we swap numbers since you live far away? I'd love to keep in touch.” He asks, handing me his phone.

My face lights up at the thought as I make a new contact. I click the camera button, taking a quick selfie before typing in my phone number. This is exciting! The only people I have on my phone are my family and Midoriya. I finish up the information and hand the device back. “Text me and I'll save the number,” I said as I picked up my backpack. Kirishima and I walk towards the exit, the sliding glass doors open and we step onto the sidewalk.

“Bet, it was nice meeting you Bakugou!” Kirishima smiled, waving me goodbye as I walked off. I nodded, lazily raising my arm to wave it. “Yeah, you too,” I said, stepping up the pace into a sprint as I headed home.

I huffed as I made my way through the door. Hearing a notification from my phone, I threw myself on the living room couch and dug out my phone from my pocket. “Hey, it’s Kirishima! Thanks for the great day!” I smiled widely, instantly typing him back. “No problem man, I had fun even if you were kicking my ass.” I sent a message back with a laughing emoji. What I didn’t realize was that Katsuki heard me coming home and that he was currently behind me, watching.

“What the fuck, since when did you use emojis, and why are you smiling so goddamn much.” He demanded, throwing so many questions at me unexpectedly. Hearing his voice, I jumped, closing my phone with a slight blush. “N-none of your business! Stop stalking me!” I shouted.

Katsuki narrows his gaze at me, a shit-eating grin forming. “OLD HAG, KAZUMI HAS A BOYFRIEND.” I jumped again at the volume, my eyes widening. “Katsuki!” I yelled, jumping over the sofa to tackle him to the floor. A woman's voice from the floor above shouted.

“WHAT!?”

Ending note: Hey everyone, sorry that this chapter took a bit longer to write than the others. I took a bit of a break last week since I was a bit tired from work and didn't have the motivation to write. I did start, but I never finished and I hated it for a while because I was unsure of what I wanted to do for it. I figured it out tho so I hope you all enjoyed the chapter!

7 notes · View notes

pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 1 month

Note

this girl one time wanted to have sex with me and when i asked to use a condom she laughed it off and said it wasnt cool, and began to chip away at my boundary until i gave her what she wanted. she kept trying to get me to do things and i would say no, and she would continue asking anyway. in bed she said something like “you said you would” and that legitimately scared me, because it seemed like she was just blatantly lying to my face, or just forgot. then she called herself a succubus (A DEMON) and my gut screamed at me to be careful around her. sorry this may be TMI, but im anon so whatever, she said i could nut in her, which is the complete opposite of my original boundary. she was so sweet otherwise and communicated really good. except for when i texted her my concerns about being manipulated. she just became really defensive. im really happy im not “under her spell” anymore. i dont know what she was trying to do, but she could have hurt me really bad

its not tmi, its ok, you know me :p <3.. im sorry your boundaries were disrespected :( ill put my answer under read more cus its probly gona be long , this message had me contemplating some things..

IMO : sex is so tricky its been a struggle my whole life to understand how i feel about it & where my boundaries lie + allowing myself to express them so i understand the struggle u present here altho it's a different perspective.. some people use sex as a vehicle to gain power over others, by way of luring their partner into a state of vulnerability, i dont think that's something demonic necessarily i think it's usually more surface level than that. however

you do see a huge rise in the amount of ppl kind of, trying to personify the succubus nowadays? ppl have always wanted to be sexy but it's like different than the way ppl wanted to be sexy when i was younger. it got rly mainstream to have kind of a demon aesthetic if that makes sense? when i was younger this stuff was reserved for the relentlessly bullied & punished Goth and Emo kids.

but ok when i worked at spencers gifts in 2021/22 they had all these shirts of anime succubus girls getting choked and in bondage n shit, and these shirts were their best sellers they were outselling most the band tees and franchises like naruto.. and im telling youuu it was like, the youngest girls always buying these shirts, it made me so uncomfortable!! sometimes i would walk away and get my coworker to ring them up cus i was like nah im not selling a child that shit...but it really made me think like wow if i was in 7th grade and wore this shit to school it wou;dve been like wearing a giant KICK MY ASS!!!! target on my back but it's like, a popular thing rn.

and im not saying the bullying should return ofc, not the point. but it lead me down the string of thought wondering why this stuff is being pushed into the mainstream so heavily. sex sells i guess $$$ but yeah i think right now it's especially common to refer to yourself as a succubus if you're trying to feel a sense of power as a woman. because as a woman there are very few ways to gain power other than using sex. and many people want power! but i dont think most of them are demonic. just lost..

still its good u followed ur instinct to stay away from that girl because it is really cruel to manipulate someone in a moment where they've trusted you enough to be close to them like that.

yeah i think its rly rare for someone to be in some true demonic possession shit but i feel there can be dark things that linger *around* people who have weak spiritual armor and sort of, feast off their energy & create misfortunes around the person that generate bad energy for it to feed off of. but i dont think they have too much control over your actions like i would imagine for someone who's truly possessed. i feel a lot of ppl have these sort of ambient malignant attachments especially if they keep a lot of dark imagery & symbols around thinking it's just an aesthetic.

thas just my thoughts....really bored tonite so im typing a lot.... i love sex i think it can be so beautiful and restoring, it helps me feel so much happier in life to have good sex regularly i dont think sex or sexiness is evil. i just think its easy for ppl w bad intentions to turn it into this whole twisted ass mind game when it shld rly b so simple and natural and a loving connection that sets u free......be safe out there anon be discerning! protect you heart..<3

11 notes · View notes

nekoannie-chan · 9 months

Text

Secrets Chapter 22: She is not for you

Pairing: Steve Rogers X OFC, Brock Rumlow X OFC.

Word count: 1597 words.

Summary: Sometimes keeping secrets can be dangerous or a heavy burden, which is what Kathleen has been doing for years. She will also be in charge of guiding Steve Rogers into this century; meanwhile, S.H.I.E.L.D. will be looking for a way to kick-start the Avengers Initiative by integrating her as one of the superheroes, but that won't be the only danger they face.

Warnings: Jealousy.

A/N: After long time working on this longfic, I finally post it. If you wanna be added to the taglist, let me know.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish: Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

Secrets masterlist.

Previous chapter.

Next chapter.

Kathleen was walking down the corridor, she had had that horrible dream again, although more than a dream, it was a memory, one of the worst she had, although sometimes she saw the spirit of her best friend... It was simply awful what had happened to her, she didn't even notice that someone was walking behind her.

“Anzai," a woman called out to Kath. Kathleen Anzai! “she grabbed Kath’s shoulder, who turned around when she felt the movement. But if you're in love little Kath, you're in love with Steve, aren't you? “Nat questioned when he saw Kath’s expression.

“ W-what? No... I'm not in love or anything," stammered Kathleen, with a quick movement the spy took her personal phone from Kath.

“Then how do you explain this? “Natasha unlocked the phone to show the photo Kath had as wallpaper. I bet you have hundreds of pictures of him..." she mocked while the other tried to take the phone from her until Natasha realized that the picture was not of Steve, but of Kath, probably in her teens with a group of guys she didn't know or at least didn't work at S.H.I.E.L.D.

“It's none of your business, Romanoff," Kath felt her cheeks burning, she was probably completely red, she didn't want anyone to know what had happened to her friends, to any of them. At least I don't look for silly excuses to go to the Stark Tower to see a certain doctor “she smiled when she saw that she had hit the right spot, so she managed to get her phone back.

“ How do you know that? “Natasha had been careful about it, the only one who knew was Clint.

“Your mind screams "Bruce Banner" as if it were a bright billboard in the middle of the night," Kath replied, however, that was true, whenever Nat was around that thought popped up. What's wrong, why are you making that face? “It was notorious for the sad face of the spy, maybe she missed her hand, although the other one was the one who started to bother.

“I don't think he corresponds to me, he's too busy with his investigations and he's afraid of hurting someone with the other guy “confessed Romanoff with a sad voice leaving the mutant surprised, it was known that Natasha never opened her heart to any other person that wasn't her best friend.

“I think you have a chance, just find a way to control the other guy and with that, you will have earned it “he advised”, on the other hand, I... “Kath kept quiet, she couldn't say more, they were not friends, nor did she have the confidence to tell her absolutely everything that happened.

“Agent Anzai, the Director wants to see you," said Maria, appearing behind Kath.

Kath entered Fury's office, nervous, as she had a bad feeling seeing the director upset.

“ Where were you the other day? “And tell me the truth, you know you can't hide anything from me.

“I went to see someone who might be of use to us," he answered dryly.

“ Who did you go to see? “he asked.

“Doctor Pym; wanted to see me, I know what you are thinking and no, obviously he is not going to give us his particle, but he is looking for someone to take his place to wear a suit and you know that we will probably need in the future," she anticipated before any other question so Fury did not continue asking, she was right, maybe in the future they would need him, if she could talk and convince with all those who had some ability there was the possibility of avoiding future tragedies.

“Speaking of the future, I already got the council to approve Project Insight, so now you will have more work to do," he said as he handed her the files for her to review.

Taking advantage of the fact that Steve was in an interview with the rest of the team; an interview to which she obviously had not been invited, she would catch up with the review of the files until someone knocked on the door of Kath’s office, she put the documents away before opening the door, she knew that this project had a certain degree of confidentiality and she also knew who was not included. When she opened the door she met Rumlow.

“Kitty, you owe me a date, remember? “Brock said entering the office.

“I know, I know, but Fury really left me a lot of work and I haven't finished, you know his crazy ideas," he lifted his shoulders while making a tender face in apology.

“I can help you with some of your work, while you buy me a drink and I'll consider the debt paid," proposed the commander.

“It was a deal," agreed Kath as she poured him a cup of tea.

They began to arrange the documents in the files to have everything in order while they chatted trivially, everything was in disorder, and many missions were mixed up with others.

“ Aren't they in the archives department supposed to do this? “Kath asked.

“Supposedly," the other replied, his gaze lingering on the picture of Kath and him and them under a cherry tree that had been taken shortly after she had joined the organization and then flicking to one of Kath and Steve at Disneyland. And that miracle your friend isn't here bothering you? “He tried to sound casual rather than jealous.

“Interview with the others for I don't know what magazine, you know the news and you two have to get along or else Fury will force you to go on a mission all alone or something crazy," he replied lightly.

“You don't want that," Brock suddenly blurted out without taking his eyes off the pictures.

“ What? “He wasn't paying attention to what his friend was doing.

“Rogers," he said coldly, she looked at him without understanding, "You like it," her voice was very annoyed.

“ And what's the problem with that? Anyway, I'm not reciprocated, it doesn't matter who I have feelings for or not, I just don't have time for it," she didn't want to have that conversation.

“He's going to hurt you and he's too old for you," Brock warned her. Kitty, I don't want anyone to hurt you," he turned to look at her.

“Brockie, I really don't want to talk about it," her voice sounded sad, "You know people still hate mutants, even though it's been a long time since...that massacre," her voice cracked.

“You look exhausted, you haven't slept well, have you? “Brock asked with concern.

“More or less “Kath answered, if she felt tired, the nightmares were recurring again and the guilt was still there, deep down she thought that maybe she could have saved her friends.

“ Are you having nightmares again? “He stroked her hair and she nodded.

Brock hugged her and they stayed like that for a while, if he could erase all those bad memories she had, if there was any way to make her notice him...he would make her very happy, they could run away, start a new life far away from all that.

“ What about you, are you seeing anyone? “asked Kath suddenly, he shook his head, "You really haven't dated anyone since Suni*? “she looked at him.

“Just a few dates, nothing important, I have to take care of you," Brock clarified, he didn't dare to confess his feelings to her either, although after what had happened in a certain mission he thought that everything would be different... until Rogers appeared.

“Again with that," Kath rolled her eyes, "I'm a big boy and you can't stay alone forever, at least buy yourself another dog or a cat or something, stop being so bitter Brockie," joked Kath.

“You're the one who should change your code name," she replied mockingly.

“ Why, what's wrong with mine? “She didn't know that the STRIKE team had given her some nicknames.

“Agh...no nothing forget it “mentally it hit her, she didn't know anything.

“Now you tell me, I'm giving you the chance or I'm going to get mad at you “she threatened him.

“The guys don't think you can fall in love and they refer to you in different ways because of how mmmmm cold you can be “Rumlow explained, he didn't want to tell her too many details so he wouldn't hurt her.

“Ugh it was probably your little friend Rollins, wasn't it? That's why I dislike him so much, anyway they don't care what he does or doesn't do," she said.

Steve appeared in the Triskelion's gym, he was looking for Brock, they had to finish planning the strategy for the next mission, and the only one he found was Jack.

“Rollins, have you seen Rumlow? “he asked urgently.

“Oh yes, he's in Anzai's office, just the two of them," the agent pointed out mischievously.

He immediately ran to Kath’s office, thousands of thoughts of all kinds went through his mind, he could not trust her to be alone with the Commander, when he arrived at the place, he opened the door with a bang.

“ Steve? “she exclaimed astonished to see him there, "Didn't you have an interview?

“It ended early, what are you two doing? “she hissed.

“Brock was helping me arrange some documents and I hope you didn't damage my door or else I'll have to file a complaint," the mutant pointed out a bit annoyed, Steve sighed in relief.

Ꭲꭺꮐꮮꮖꮪꭲ:

@saiyanprincessswanie @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

@navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @mylifeispainandiloveit @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @jtargaryen18 @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit

#Secrets #steve rogers x oc #brock rumlow x oc

24 notes · View notes

lisalay00 · 10 months

Text

Secret Crush 6- Billy Hargrove

‘Billy?’

I tipped my toe to see beyond the window well to the living room. His dad was standing in front of the kitchen counter and back-facing towards me. Billy was directly looking at him with no expression face. I was pretty far away from the kitchen. I just hoped he came to the living room.

A couple of minutes later, Max appeared from the stairs handling her skateboard. I tried to straighten myself as high as possible at least she could see my fluffy hair.

Finally, she noticed me; her eyes widened in shock, and pointed to the backyard. My head got down on my screamed SOS feet. I took a deep breath and untied my hands from the window sill.

‘Hey!’ Max cheered in silence causing me to bounce off, and covered my mouth with my hands. She lightly chuckled at my freaked-out face, which literally made me reconsider my thoughts.

‘You scared me, god!’ I mumbled as landed my hand on my chest, not forgetting to check around. She shrugged her shoulder and took a quick gaze at my dress slowly her smile turned into a questioning one like I know the answer.

‘You are going somewhere?’ I rolled my eyes when she folded her arms as taking a rhythm with his foot.

‘Max, can you help me to talk Billy?’ I just wanted to cut to the chase because I know her, she was so ready for creating theories about why I came here at this hour.

‘As you see, His dad is pretty busy scolding him but if I find a time, promise!’ the way she crossed hands was fascinating, not more than his brother. Sometimes I think about how they look like each other, it’s intriguing to ponder how El and I share the same roots, yet we have such different sides on display. But if I were to bring up, even hypothetically, probably they would do anything to make me believe that is not true. It would take hours, or forever.

'El told me she's with Mike's basement and Lucas there too…' tried to convince her, she sometimes had annoying hard mood swings, though it would be taking something easier, nonetheless.

‘I don’t care about him.’ She shrugged her shoulder when my eyebrow arched in suspiciously. I had a couple of information about these teenagers' love life according to my sister but seems like the love triangle between Dustin-Lucas-Max were going somewhere.

‘Alright, I just wanted to say.’ I shrugged my shoulders before her lips could even part and were about to defend herself for death, but a shattered sound caused us both to flinch, Max stepped closer to me unconsciously and our eyes met momentarily. I could see the concern in her eyes. Summer was about to start but still, nights were pretty cold, I felt my arms getting cold showered in the tendency to spread my body.

Then the door opened and someone slammed it behind it. Max turned back to me and put me back like she wanted to protect me. Then Billy’s leather jacket went into my frame, I sighed in relief. I tapped Max's shoulder and pointed to the basement door.

‘You have to go now, don’t worry.’ I whispered, she nodded and hastily paced to the door before turning back to me.

‘Good luck to you too.’

I heard to door closed sound, raised my thumb to her, and rushed to his car. I saw his blonde hair drop on the wheel. He wasn’t moving.

Perhaps, I would do the stupidest thing, but anyway, I knocked on the glass and suddenly opened the door. I jumped on the seat when he frantically raised his head and shockingly widened his eyes and landed on me I smiled. I know how awkward the situation was. Moments later he sighed in relief and bounced back his head.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Are you okay?’

I literally screamed in the inch of the car. A chuckle escaped his mouth, forcefully.

‘fine as possible as it should be.’ He talked first. I hesitantly turned to my lap, I felt like it was freaking wrong time to ask a favor, but here I was sitting there and if I didn’t say it, he would get it. I huffed the thick air and turned his blue orbs that were lightened in curiosity.

‘I know it is not the right time but…’ I was literally selfish.

‘I need your help, tonight.’ I mumbled. I hate the words I said because it was quite out of the script I wrote on the road.

His eyes turned to the street for a moment wanting to distract himself from the thoughts or the situation I had no idea, but he slightly turned back to me.

‘I am yours tonight.’ He chuckled with a deep sigh and rubbed the back of his head, his hair softly moving on his shoulders, in the dim light brightened from its waves.

‘Can you come…umm… party with me, tonight?’

He frowned and slowly leaned forward to the wheel causing the fold to form on his brows, his naughty expression faded away, and the look of genuine concern replaced it. And of course, he was because we both know it was so a silly, dangerous idea. The air was getting thicker seems like for him too she swiped the window open. I took a deep breath from the fresh air as he broke the silence.

‘You are joking right?’ I shook my head reluctantly as his jaw clenched. His hands roughly landed on his hair, run through his fingers, and turned his body full towards me.

‘Billy we have to go there, I heard them. They have plans for me!’ I mumbled, widening my eyes to search a hope crumbling in his gaze, but literally a wall that I saw.

‘So, if they have what’s the point of going there, seriously?’ His tone was getting rough, leaned back to the seat and folded his arms.

‘I want you to come here with me because I don’t want to be alone when I break their plans on me.’ I harshly opened the door, and let the cold wind hit my face. I closed my eyes and turned to his shocking gaze.

‘I’ll go by myself, good night.’ I slammed the door, my pace falling uncontrolled with feverish anger. I continued to walk when I heard my name as the sound of his steps echoed on the empty street, I noticed Max on the window couple of steps away.

Distracted by the firm grip of his hands on my elbow, I turned to face him, only to find his pounding rough chest heaving from the short run. I lifted my chin to his darkened gaze, which was slightly opened. I attempted to jerk to swing his tightly grabbed on my arm, yet he just narrowed his eyes and pulled me closer.

‘You are coming with me.’ He bounced back slightly for another attempt to yank his grab, his eyes landed on the light in Max’s room. He dragged me to his car.

‘I don’t need you Hargrove!’ he stopped when we reached his car again. I looked at his well-built shoulders under his leather jacket and continued.

‘I can show who he is trying to mess with, by myself! I don’t need you!’ I yelled when he frantically turned to me, in a brief moment his finger landed on my lips. I bounced off in shock, avoiding it with a soft grim on my waist.

When the street lights blinked, he didn’t hesitate to turn there right exactly looking at my face.

‘Please be quiet.’ He closed his eyes slightly his hands and arms unwrapped my waist. I felt cold with the sudden absence.

‘Let's not waken crazy Neil here.’ I nodded my head when the light got back to normal. I watched him slowly open the car door and turned back to me.

‘Hop in!’ demanding to point to the door, slammed the door.

When he pressed the break suddenly, I leaned forward thanks to the seatbelt I bounced back to the seat.

‘Can you be a little slower!’ I mumbled, swirling to the side of him as he was already looking at me. His one hand on his leg was tapping on his knee while it was shaking rapidly. He rummaged his pockets, sat up from the seat, and leaned forward to ease his job. When he felt the cigarette box in his pocket, he pulled it and sat back on the seat causing a small shaking in the car.

Only watched when he landed it between his lips, following the light and smoke, inhaling to cause more fume in the car. I waved my hand around to disperse.

He pointed to the crowd and music-filled house with his cigarette.

‘Are you sure to do this?’

‘Never better!’ I held the door he swiftly stopped me, contemplating the sentence.

‘Don’t fall apart me!’ He warned me when I rolled my eyes to turn back to the lump of teenagers group that went out of the house in the loudest way. I hopped out of the car and headed to the house, I could catch my steps. I felt his soft and warm hand on my hands, our shoulders hit one another.

I turned his encouraging smile as we went inside. colorful lights were dazzling and everyone was so drunk. I inhaled the alcohol-filled room relentlessly falling my steps forward, stepping on cans and cigarettes.

Joshua was sitting on the couch while scrunching his face at someone no other than Jason. He turned his head to the side when we got the girls' attention who were sitting in front of him. Their face slightly turned white color like sheets. He mumbled something, reluctantly putting a fake smile on his face.

‘Hey there!’ He cheered while the whole room right exactly watching us like waiting for fire. Billy’s hands were grabbed firmly on hand. His eyes were falling on our hands his eyes widened, and his head spun towards Jason whose jaws clenched sitting like a statue without moving, forcing him to look at our hands.

‘Here I am!’ I forced myself to smile. He pointed to the couch with his cup-filled hand.

‘What bout joining us?’ obviously a reluctant recommendation.

Billy stepped front and stood in front of Joshua like a statue, his upright gesture stood like a shot across the bow.

‘Thanks, honey!’ he hit his shoulder harshly as swaying back. My eyes widened, looked at Billy’s curls that caused aired a couple of hair strands, couldn’t resist pulling towards me. He could stumble back, Surprisingly he had been caught off guard., but he quickly regained his footing. I intertwined our hands, not giving my attention to his gaze.

I pointed to the beer stand in the kitchen which caused all the cheap scent to spread around the room without waiting for his answer, and dragged him aside of the room.

He headed to the kitchen behind me in silence I sighed to find an empty place finally, and the beer stand might be distracted people from. Momentarily our hands parted, I lay on the counter, folded my arms on my chest gave him a questioning look, waiting for an answer.

‘Want me to start or you?’ I mumbled not forgetting to check the closed kitchen door. Shadows stumbled past in front of the door’s window, casting fleeting shadows, probably drunk partiers.

‘Ladies first.’ He opened his arms to the side rolling his eyes walked to the fridge.

‘We planned to just show off and that’s all probably they’d given up, you are creating a scene.’ He opened the fridge door and rummaged through it as the leather jacket moved joyfully from his shoulders. He landed two beer cans.

‘I am talking to you!’ I paced to his nonchalant figure, fully fixated on the can in his hand as he plugged the lit with one hand and took a large gulp.

I stood beside him; he vaguely nodded before flinging the can in my direction. I looked at the can in disbelief, in a brief moment it met with the ground.

‘I didn’t call you for drinking you stupid.’ I pushed him Couse his back to collide with the open fringe door that closing beneath his back. His eyes widened as I continued to walk, and raised my finger to his chest until it touched his.

‘You are so annoying, why don’t you listen to me and walk like a normal two people…’ He grabbed my shoulder, and frantically we relocated our position. Now I was the one trapped between the fridge and him. As He took another sip of the beer, his Adam’s apple moved roughly, due to the intense flavor, later on throwing the can aside from the room, and a little beer was dripping from the corner of his lips due to the harsh drink.

He was looking at me without saying anything, his chest moving rapidly. Only our chests touched as his hands slowly landed on my shoulder.

‘Don’t look at me like that, please.’ He mumbled while caressing my shoulders softly. I trembled with the feeling on my bare skin. I shook my head, and attempt to walk passed his shoulder when he pressed his hands, my back bounced off the fridge demanding me to say something.

‘I told you to stay silent, I could handle it.’ When someone hit the door we both turned to the side, dragging me to the door beside the fridge. I hadn’t even noticed there was a door there. I found myself in the dark room. He pressed his finger on my lips and whispered shush.

Joshua's voice echoed in the kitchen he threw something to the counter soon other footsteps attached. Billy landed his hands on the wall leaner closer, and now his mint scent was dangerously closer. I inhaled the sharp aroma of his breath. My heart started pondering in my chest.

‘Dude I didn’t know she brought Hargrove, damn I had no idea they were dating!’ He cried out when the other one threw the glass that I thought was glass or something, following the shattered sound Joshua was thrown to the fridge, he groaned in pain as he spoke.

‘This little bitch played with you!’ He hysterically hissed. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision when I realized he was Jason. Billy hummed lightly his hand went down on my cheek and caressed reassuringly.

‘Find a way to bring her your room!’ He roared following another shattered sound. Billy leaned on my ear when Jason scolded him like a little kid.

‘Do you trust me?’ He whispered in my shell, I tried to hide the trembling feeling taking over the control. Do I trust him? Since my stupid game in front of the library and Do I still angry at him, hell yeah but I had to keep it for now. I nodded slowly, and then everything happened so fast. He grabbed my hips and took my feet off the ground.

‘Wrap your legs around me!’ I will probably regret the obedience, even for me it was so surprising, listening to him without question. He kicked the spice cabinet when the sound of footsteps stopped and got closer to us. The door slammed open when he smashed his lips on mine. His hands leisurely reached to the back of my head.

When he pulled back in need of breath our lips parted. I didn’t even care about the stares at us at that moment. It was so weird to say, differently.

I turned my head to the crowd that was already looking at us. I noticed the familiar hair and shocking gazes were looking at us.

As Billy's quick kiss landed on my cheek I turned, he was looking at me he didn’t even care about the moment or position we were in.

‘I guess we are in trouble.’

✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧

30 notes · View notes