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sissytobitch10seconds · 21 days

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all i need is to come home to you

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Luther is sick and tired of being alone on the moon. He's going to change his life on his own terms instead of letting his father shape it. Warnings: Canon-typical child abuse and pseudo-incest Word Count: 3,915 Ship(s): Luther Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

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A/N: So google docs uploaded and this summary was not the one I had originally, lol. I hope that it was enough to draw some people in and I hope this fic is worth it! Also, the title of this fic is from Rule #2 - Moonlight by Fish in a Birdcage. I hope you guys enjoy it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

all i need is to come home to you

An Umbrella Academy Fanfiction

A Viktor Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves Fanfiction

By Sissytobitch10seconds

Showing search results for ‘Luther Hargreeves: 2018’

Four files found: AC/MC Correspondence Logs 2018.pdf, Effects of Ape Genomes on Superhuman Bodies.docx, The Umbrella Academy: Where Are They Now?.png, Locations of Moon Samples.docx

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Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 6/4/18 02:48-03:01

AC: Dad

MC: That is not how you are meant to speak to your overseeing director, Number One. Please try again.

AC: Cut the shit. I can’t do this anymore.

MC: Please explain yourself, Number One. Frivolous calls are what is going to ruin the mission, combined with your insistence on sharing unneeded facts during your log records.

AC: You don’t read those, Grace does. She probably made some comment about it to you when she was serving you dinner. And I just told you, I can’t do this. I need you to get me someone or I’m going to walk outside into space without my fucking helmet on.

MC: Number One! There is no need for such crass language, please refrain from speaking towards me that way again

AC: Can you just shut up for one second and actually listen to me? Maybe there’s a reason that I’ve been including stupid shit like that in my logs.

MC: And what reason would that be, Number One?

AC: I’m not going to talk to you, not if you’re going to be like this.

MC: You’re the one that called me, Number One. Outside of the usual parameters and with such crass language, no less!

AC: Let me talk to [Viktor].

MC: Absolutely not.

AC: If I don’t get to talk to [Viktor] then I’m going to follow through with my threat. It would be super shitty if the youngest person to ever go to space ended up killing himself under the great Reginald Hagreeves’ care. I’ve been trained with all the space shit. Maybe I should just not patch the next oxygen leak that the control center gets.

MC: How soon do you need to speak with [him]?

AC: As soon as you can get [him].

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 6/6/18 13:00-14:06

AC: What do you want?

MC: Uh, hello?

AC: Oh. Hello.

MC: Is this Luther? I’m sorry, I don’t know how this works and no one will explain it to me.

AC: That’s okay [Viktor] I don’t expect you to know how this works. Truth be told, I thought that this was a call from Dad to see if I had actually followed through. I wasn’t expecting him to be able to get to you like I wanted him to.

MC: Well he did. It was kind of a surprise for me too. I mean, you had never shown an interest in wanting to talk to me before.

AC: Back when I was at home?

MC: Back when all of us were at home. It always seemed like you liked Allison better than the rest of us.

AC: How is she? Allison?

MC: What was the last thing that you heard about her?

AC: The last thing that I heard about her was when I was back on earth. I used to get newspapers so that I could keep up to date with current events, but they stopped coming after the first year up here.

MC: Wait, you haven’t had anything new to read in three years?

AC: Two, but yes.

MC: What have you been doing to keep yourself occupied, then?

AC: What do you care, [Viktor]?

MC: You’re the one that wanted to call me, Luther. If you didn’t really want to talk to me then you should have asked Dad for Allison. And if you just wanted someone to argue with then you should have asked for Diego. I don’t know why you chose me out of all of our siblings, but I have my own life and job that I am currently missing out on to talk to you. So if you’re not going to be nice to me then I’m not going to talk to you.

AC: Wait, [Viktor]. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. I think it’s harder for me to interact with people outside of the standard conversations that Dad and I have when he calls every week to make sure that I’m still handling the maintenance of the shuttle well enough. I just mentioned that I hadn’t had anything to do while up here, didn’t I?

MC: You did, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be an asshole.

AC: You’re right, I’m sorry.

MC: It’s okay. But I do think that you owe me an explanation for why you picked me out of all of our siblings.

AC: Well, I knew that Klaus has probably gotten into something more than what he was into when we were teenagers so it didn’t feel particularly safe to call him. We still don’t know where Five is and he would end up arguing with me far faster than Diego would. When Diego left, a little while after dad sent you away to college, he said that he wouldn’t step back into the house until Dad was dead. I didn’t think that it was worth it to even ask for him when he was so against it like that, I guess.

MC: What about Allison?

AC: Can you tell me about her?

MC: Not until you tell me why you picked me instead of her. I think that if she knew that you had made that choice when she would skin me alive.

AC: She would never do that!

MC: She threatened to literally the entire year that we were fourteen. I think that she very much would.

AC: I forgot about that.

MC: It’s okay. I like hearing you laugh.

AC: Oh, thank you.

MC: Now tell me why you didn’t demand that Dad bring Allison to stave off your loneliness.

AC: Well, the last that I was able to hear about her was that she was dating somebody new. She’s been dating a lot of people since I last saw her and she moved out to LA. It kind of hurt. You know, I caught her before she left. I caught almost everyone before they left for the last time, other than you.

MC: Did you catch Five?

AC: I thought that you wanted to hear my story about Allison.

MC: Right, sorry.

AC: Anyway, as I was saying. I caught her before she had the chance to leave and she told me what she was doing. When we were younger, we used to sneak back to our secret greenhouse the same way that you and Five would sneak to the music room. We talked for hours sometimes, but then she would also bring the Shakespear books that Mom forced us to read when we were supposed to be studying the classics. She would pick a main character that she wanted to play and then make me read the other lines so that she could practice. I wasn’t that shocked when she said that she wanted to go and be an actress in LA. I was really sad to see her go, but I knew that I couldn’t hold her back if I really loved her.

MC: That’s what they say in all of the songs, isn’t it?

AC: Yeah, I guess so. I haven’t gotten a new record in a really long time.

MC: I’ll see if I can get Mom to convince Dad to send you some of my favorites, if you’d like.

AC: I would… I would like that [Viktor]. Do you want to hear the rest of the story?

MC: Yeah, sorry for interrupting so much.

AC: No, it’s fine. If I only wanted to talk to myself then I wouldn’t have demanded that Dad find me someone. But, um, anyway. I let Allison go after she promised that she was going to write me so that I could keep up to date with her. She landed a main role in the first movie that she auditioned for, which I’m guessing that she might have used her powers for. I don’t like doubting that she has the ability to get it on her own merit, but I know that she didn’t like to do the hard work that the rest of us had to do. After that, the letters just stopped coming. The only way that I could figure out what was happening to her was through the tabloids and articles written about her.

MC: Me too.

AC: I guess after that I just figured that she didn’t want anything to do with me so I didn’t even try to contact her. I sent a few letters here and there when something big happened to her or I was able to sneak one of her movies into the Academy, but I never got anything back.

MC: So you two grew apart? I’ve heard that can happen to people who grew up together.

AC: I guess that kind of happened with us too, didn’t it?

MC: The difference is, we thought that you two were in love with each other. No one liked me so there was no doubt in my mind that none of you would ever reach out to me. Not since Five left when we were thirteen.

AC: I’m sorry, [Viktor].

MC: It’s okay, it’s not like it was just you.

AC: I… I suppose that’s true. I didn’t want to pick Allison because I don’t think that she would have responded to Dad’s call, and I can’t go another week without having something to look forward to.

MC: I’ll come back every week and talk to you then.

AC: I don’t want you to feel like you have to. One time was enough to keep me going for a while longer. Hopefully I’ll be able to actually come home soon.

MC: I hope so too. I have to go now, I really can’t stop putting off my work.

AC: I’ll hear from you in a week then.

MC: Mm hmm. I’ll get Dad to send you some more things to keep your mind busy too. You’re too intelligent to just be left up there twiddling your thumbs, Luther.

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 8/14/18 22:00-22:54

MC: Hello? Is someone there?

AC: I’m here, like I always am. Though apparently you’re not.

MC: I’m sorry, Luther. I really did try to make it on time. I’ve been having some trouble getting to and from the concerts that I’ve been doing in the past month and I missed the bus. When I actually got here, Dad said that you would be busy doing whatever mission he sent you up there for and that I couldn’t call you. I’m so sorry.

AC: [Viktor], I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry that I was so snappish. I should have figured that it had something to do with Dad.

MC: Is he still being as difficult as he was before?

AC: You’re actually dealing with him in person, you tell me.

MC: I was kind of hoping that he was going to be nicer to you when he called you. Mom said that he was sending you the records and books that I brought last month.

AC: He did, but the conversations that we have whenever I call back for my checks are awful. I guess I was kind of scared that he wasn’t going to let you call me anymore because you’re changing me.

MC: I’m changing you? According to you or according to him?

AC: According to us both. He mentioned it last week when I was asking where you were after you didn’t call me. I had some time to think about it while doing my missions because of how fucking monotonous they are. And he was right.

MC: Oh? Do tell.

AC: Well, you’ve made me actually think about the way that I treated you back when we were kids. It wasn’t right, and it was all his fault. That was the reason that I treated Diego like shit too.

MC: What do you mean?

AC: Do you remember back when we were training together, before Dad made you stop watching us and spend more time with Mom?

MC: Of course I do.

AC: Well after you left he started doing a lot more of what he had been doing before. He would tell Diego that he needed to try harder if he even wanted to be my shadow. It made me have this idea that Diego and the rest of the team was so far beneath me that none of them were ever going to have any kind of right to lead. I think that it might have been the reason that Ben died.

MC: What… what do you mean by that?

AC: I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot for you to handle. We never did tell you what happened during the Jennifer Incident, did we?

MC: You didn’t. I asked over and over again and no one would ever tell me.

AC: Well… It was kind of hard for us to think about because part of it was our fault. Ben wasn’t good at controlling the Horror because he was scared of it. That only got worse as we got older, probably because he had been seeing what kind of things it could do at that point, and we understood the permanence of death. Dad made sure that we didn’t think too hard about what we did on missions when we were younger than that. Uh, anyway. We were on a mission for Dad, like we almost always were. Then things started going south, I don’t remember all of the details. We were trying to save someone, I know that. I think that Ben had been sneaking out with Klaus to try and watch him but had ended up meeting someone named Jennifer.

MC: How do you know that?

AC: We were able to drag some of it out of Klaus when we brought his body back to the house. But anyway, she turned out to be at the building that the hostages were in. Ben went totally out of control, the Horror was feeding on his fear and using it to control him entirely. It turned on him and ripped him to shreds.

MC: I guess I can understand why you all never told me that. I’m not sure that I would have been able to handle it on the little bit of meds that I was on. I can kind of process anything on the higher dose that Dad put me on when I went to college.

AC: I was meaning to ask you about those. When I was thinking about all of the horrible decisions that Dad made for the team, I kept thinking about why he kept you around.

MC: Wow, thank you, Luther.

AC: I mean, it’s not like he cared for any of us. He didn’t keep you around because he loved you, there has to be some other reason. Then I kept thinking about the meds. Why would Dad want to have a sickly child with no powers? You wouldn’t have shared any secrets about him if he had sent you away because he was very open about his training methods. At least, the ones that you were around to see.

MC: I guess he did always kind of treat me like an in between of the outside world and the inside one that he made.

AC: Exactly. So why does he have you on the medication? Viktor? Are you still there?

MC: Yeah, sorry, I think I just remembered something. Do you remember when I was four and Dad took me away?

AC: He said that you were sick. The only person that got to see you was Allison and she got in trouble for talking about it when you came back.

MC: I’m beginning to think that I wasn’t really sick. I think I’m going to start looking for another doctor so that they can wean me off of these meds healthily. Then we’ll see what’s really going on.

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 10/10/18 7:34-8:21

MC: Hello? Luther?

AC: [Viktor]? This isn’t the time that you usually call. Is everything okay?

MC: It’s more than okay! I have so much to tell you, so I need you to promise to wait until I tell you that I’ve finished before you start talking to me.

AC: Okay, I will.

MC: Promise?

AC: Promise.

MC: So I found another doctor, one that was outside of my insurance. It ended up being more okay than I thought it would be, doctor’s appointments without tests are inexpensive enough that I was able to manage it with the savings from my book deal. I convinced them that I didn’t want to be on the medication anymore and they helped wean me off. I started to notice some really interesting things after I stopped taking it, though.

AC: What kind of things?

MC: Luther!

AC: Right, shit, sorry.

MC: Anyways! As I was saying, I started noticing things. I thought that it was just a coincidence at first because my entire life I have thought that there was nothing special about me and never could be, but there is! At first it was things like raining when I was feeling upset about something, but then glass started breaking when I would get scared or have a panic attack. And Luther, I can hear way better than I did before. There are all these extra sounds that I had no idea existed before today. I was able to use it to sneak into the house and I found that little red book that Dad used to keep all of our training missions in. It turns out that I did have powers but they were really volatile, so Dad decided that he as going to lock them away instead of just manning up so that he could train me better. He also had Allison trick me into thinking that I was ordinary, which I think that we can both tell has had no lasting effects on my psyche at all.

AC: Is that sarcasm?

MC: Yes, Luther, it’s sarcasm.

AC: I like the way that your laugh sounds now. Not that it didn’t sound good before, but you actually sound happy now. Before it sounded like you were just kind of going through the motions.

MC: That’s because I was. The medication that I was on was a sedative because my powers are linked to my emotions. But I’m an adult now, so I can watch and handle them.

AC: Wow. It’s kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that this is all real. I mean, that’s probably what Dad wanted in the first place, which was why he cemented the idea of you being different and ordinary in us throughout our entire childhood. What are you going to do now that you know you have powers?

MC: I’m going to get Dad to bring you home.

AC: You… you are?

MC: Of course, Luther. I want you to be able to be here to teach me how to shave when I get on hormones.

AC: Shave? [Viktor], I think you skipped a detail or two.

MC: Shit. Right. I was so excited to tell you about the fact that I had powers that I forgot to tell you about the other thing. It turns out that I’m a boy. I never had the chance to think about the things that would make me happy or who I was because of the Rumor and the medication. But now both have been broken over me and I know who I am. Is that okay?

AC: Screw shaving! I mean, I will still do that for you if you want me to, but I want to throw you a fucking party! This is amazing, you’re actually discovering things about yourself, just like me! We’ve officially broken the hold that the stupid old man had on us.

MC: I guess we have. Do you want to know the name that I picked out for myself?

AC: Of course I do. I want all of the details that you’re willing to give me.

MC: Viktor. My new name is Viktor.

---

Annihilation Control to Mission Control Correspondence - 12/1/18 7:00-8:16

MC: Luther? Come in, Luther.

AC: You don’t have to talk like you’re actually Mission Control, Viktor. We’ve never done that with each other before.

MC: I thought that I would try it out, since I’m in charge of your mission now.

AC: You are? When did that happen?

MC: Pretty much immediately after I finished my last call with you. I know that I haven’t contacted you in a while, it took me a lot of time to figure out how to do what I wanted to.

AC: And what do you want to do with me?

MC: I’m bringing you home. The return rocket has left earth’s orbit and is going to be picking you up when it gets to the moon.

AC: Are you serious?

MC: I wouldn’t joke about something like this, Luther. I know everything that Dad did to you and it was so wrong. He had no right to turn your body into something that you didn’t recognize and then hide you in a base on the moon. I’m bringing you home and then you and I are going to figure out how we can have a real life, the kind that you wanted with Allison and I wanted with Five. Luther? You still there?

AC: If Five comes back will you leave me for him?

MC: I don’t see why I can’t have you both.

AC: I guess I should wait until I’m back on earth so that I can talk to you about this, but I’m worried that I’ll chicken out if I have to do it to your face. God, I don’t even know what you look like anymore.

MC: About the same as when my book came out, but my hair is short now. What is this about, Luther?

AC: When we had our first call, you asked me why I picked you out of all of our siblings. I never answered your question properly. The reason that I picked you out of all of our siblings was because you were the most kind. You also know what it’s like to be completely isolated from everything. I’m so, so sorry that we did that to you, Viktor. We were supposed to be your siblings, your family. More importantly, back then we were also supposed to be heroes. We were supposed to take care of people, that was quite literally in our job descriptions. But I think that the only thing that we actually ended up doing was killing whoever our father pointed us towards. We didn’t protect you, we didn’t protect other people, we didn’t protect Ben. You’re kind and wonderful and so heartfelt. I love you, Viktor.

MC: I love you too. Get home to me safe, okay?

AC: Okay.

…

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#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #tua #the umbrella academy #viktor hargreeves #luther hargreeves #luther x viktor #viktor x luther #vuther

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psychreviews2 · 2 months

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Thought and meditation - Rob Burbea

A lot of the following material comes from one of my favourite masters Rob Burbea, so I would like to let the audience know, if they don't know already, that he's fighting pancreatic cancer. Yet despite that he's still has the fortitude to teach, for example his new retreat teachings have been uploaded about Imaginal practice, and there are links below. Rob like the rest of us is impermanent and the gifts he provides and are not guaranteed. If you are in the position to do so you can donate via this link to help with his expenses: See: https://rumble.com/v1grcgx-mindfulness-nirvana.html

Harassed by thinking

Instructions for dealing with thought and meditation can be confusing. Are we supposed to stop thinking? It's an important question. Thinking in a painful way, for some people, can lead to suicide. With misunderstandings and poor instruction, the practitioner of meditation has some hurdles to overcome. When the practitioner tries to stop thinking, they will find that the results are only temporary, and they've suffered a lot of strain in the attempt. At other times the practitioner gives up development and surfs on interesting thoughts and concepts. If thinking is allowed in meditation, what kind of thinking is good thinking?

Working with thought and meditation

For the meditator the first obstacle to get through is to think that enlightenment is about getting rid of thought. Any prior instructions, mistranslations in books that demonize thought, have to abandoned to develop further. Rob's argument for this is that the 2nd jhana is a concentration state where thoughts begin to drop away, yet there is so much more to Buddhism than two concentration states. Stopping thought permanently for Rob is like "amputating our humanity."

His goals for his students are that we should be able:

"To be free with thought."

"To discern and let go of unhelpful types of thinking."

"To develop the ability to think well, and be bold thinkers."

Experimentation

This problem can be approached with an experimental attitude of the practitioner. If the meditator notices, certain types of thinking are actually harmless and others are extremely draining. One method to do this is to develop types of thinking that lead to calmness, love, and wisdom, and abandoning thoughts that relate to greed, ill will, and harmfulness. Purposeful, fair thinking and actions lead to less worry and strain, than those other types of thinking and actions.

Rob's test to see if we are thinking properly is to see if we are embroiled in thinking and have trouble stopping, versus thinking that allows us to stop at any time. Another method of thinking is to develop calm first. Our thoughts are different in a calm mind than in an agitated mind. For Rob these skills are just as important as mindfulness skills. At lot of why we are afraid of death is really the emotional death. The physical pain will always be scary but the emotional pain is something we can work with, and emotional pain is connected with thinking. By developing habits to keep coming back to the breath, it becomes easier to interrupt our thoughts when they are embroiled. When those thoughts subside we can then choose to use skillful thinking instead.

Ouroboros

Buddhism is taught via concepts, because no one can abide in another person's reality and show us. How it works is like the ouroboros, or the snake eating its tail. When the practitioner sees their own mental movements and is able to find the label that it corresponds to and understand how it works, then the concept is finally internalized. This is true of all knowledge that requires us to learn by doing. The concepts are just pointers to the non-conceptual. Then the concept can be put to the side to let the real experience inform. This is how the practitioner who reads too much can prioritize their first hand experience so the benefits they read about can be enjoyed.

Papañca

Rob's talks have a plethora of pointers that can help us get back to the non-conceptual knowledge. One way is sweeping the body and noticing how obsessive thinking narrows attention, and sometimes tightens and contracts areas of the body. By sweeping and relaxing the tension in the body, the attention is freed up. The practitioner can then "relax, and allow the turmoil" of obsessive thoughts. Seeing how the damage can happen quickly lets the meditator know that certain types of thoughts are unhelpful. These unhelpful types of thoughts have certain patterns and characteristics that most people are aware of. They are called Papañca in Pali, which complicates thinking into emotionally charged guesses and exaggerations of the situation thought about. It torments the subject when they want to change something and cannot, or they want to control their uncertain future. It's a type of belief where people skip any need for evidence and jump to the catastrophic conclusions. An example Rob uses is of how people can take personal how a person looks at them. Internally the subject can think, "why did they look at me like that? Maybe it means this about me? That reminds me of my mother, and what she used to say about me." A single detail in the experience is taken out of context and then generalized. The subject can then take what the mother said about them and use the person who looked at him or her as a confirmation of how bad they are.

Complication

Rob list's the sequence of Papañca, but the steps must be thought of as non-linear, because each step can feed each other. Usually there is a thought of what we don't like, at the same time there is a feeling in the body that goes with the thought. Afterwards there is an aversion to those thoughts that leads to more thoughts of planning and worrying to try and get rid of something. This is non-linear in that planning and worrying thoughts have feelings in the background that tend to build as the thoughts get more complicated when the thoughts run up to obstacles with no solution. The thoughts get more complicated from early thoughts of negative preferences, and build towards plans and worries about what to do about the situation.

Cutting thought

Here Rob points out his favourite target to cut off or let go of those thoughts. Because of the emotional investment, the farther out one waits to cut the thought the more resistance there will be. At the level of feeling in the body (a felt like or dislike) it's easiest to let go of the early thoughts, that a situation is not likeable, than to let go in the planning and worrying stages. Of course we can ruminate about meditation and start to attack ourselves when we fail to catch the right moment to let go, so Rob assures the practitioner that they can let go at any time because it's non-linear. The feelings in the body are still there when there's planning and worrying. It may be harder to let go, but you can check into the body with the feeling and start to let go of the thoughts related to the feelings. Because thoughts condition with repetition, it's important to not make excuses for not letting go of unhelpful obsessive thoughts.

Allowing

There is often a lot of resistance with obsessive thought, and cutting it isn't always successful. Another way of being with the thoughts is to again go back into the body, and keep allowing those unpleasant sensations that are there. Fighting too much with the thoughts can make you go back into mental complication again. Just feel the push and pull in the body and allow it and relax it. With practice, the muscle builds and then it can be easier to cut thoughts. The art of meditation is to see how much effort is needed. Sometimes you need more effort and sometimes not. Rob assures us that effort never gets settled in one's practice, it only gets more subtle. For a lot of meditators this can be seen in their concentration practice. Often practitioners are at a certain level of absorption, then the mind wanders from the breath and with a sense of surrendering effort, the attention goes back to the object and gets absorbed at a deeper level, like the surrendering of effort was what was needed. Again this is all adjusting effort based on what is needed to develop calm.

Rewards

The consequence of being down on thinking in meditation is the papañca caused by guilt for being lost in thoughts. Simple instructions from Thanissaro Bhikkhu involve rewarding oneself with a delicious breath to incline the thinking habits to naturally return to the breath. Andrea Fella also likes to remind meditators that when you know that you are lost in thoughts, you are already back. Being lost in thoughts means you are not aware this is happening. When you are aware then take pleasure that you are back and continue practicing.

Thinking with calm

When there is calm in the meditation, the practitioner can explore the papañca to see how it works by letting it back in again with this calm mind. Seeing how it works helps to make it less alluring to fall into. One method is assessing the helpfulness of the thoughts. When caught in obsessive thinking one can compare the calm mind to the agitated ruminating mind. "Is this helpful, or not helpful? Let go of what's not helpful." One can also ask "will I be happy if I keep thinking these thoughts?"

Sometimes there can be an important choice in one's life, and the mind goes back and forth and can't decide. In some situations it really matters what is decided, but with a calm mind it's possible to bring in a consideration that either choice will make no difference, and if that's the case, it's easier to give up those obsessive thoughts. An example would be having difficulty choosing a menu item at a restaurant. In the end you'll be fed with either choice.

Labeling

When there is ruminating some practitioners like to label some of the complex thoughts, with labels like "planning", "remembering." This can create emotional distance that is helpful, but the danger with labeling is it can also make those thoughts have more concreteness and reality, which may add to the papañca. Rob says, "nothing is without effect."

With enough calmness the meditator can see some of the fuel for these types of thoughts and why labeling can work in some situations and in others it's better to explore underlying motivations. Because meditation teachers witness so many examples with their students that are similar, certain patterns start to appear.

"I" as the source of papañca

For Rob, papañca in students involves certain beliefs and assumptions about "what is needed for my happiness." A lot of these assumptions underneath, "what I need to be happy", can be challenged by bringing them into consciousness and assessing them with normal logic. An even deeper motivation still for papañca is self-labels. A lot of students have devastating stress that involves narratives such as "I believe it means this about 'me' if this or that happens." Rob turns it around in a droll way by saying, "if it is true, is it really so bad?" This isn't to diminish the shame that people feel when they have hurt others or committed crimes, or if they have been victimized again and again. Serious negative self-labels that involve real world rejection, post-traumatic stress, and stigma will be harder to shake off, and require a lot of letting go and time to heal.

After any healing or atonement, the suffering student can bring to their actions, for example, a criteria of helpfulness to understand that they can't change the past, but they can focus on what they do now in terms of skillful thoughts and actions. If a person is capable of good actions, then all they can do is to repeat them for the rest of their lives. Rob suggests what I think is a very skillful use of learning orientation to help dis-embed from the shaming, judging, painful "I." He says that the practitioner can instead, "be more interested in the process of thinking instead of the content of thinking." With the spacious awareness in the prior body scanning practice described above, a mode of witnessing thoughts can be imitated from the skills we are used to using with mindfulness of the senses.

Only impressions in awareness

For example, sound. Listening to ambient sounds and letting them arise and pass can be applied to thinking, and this has more reality than practitioners think. Thoughts are just like sounds in how they arise and pass. They are ephemeral and insubstantial. They are also unpredictable, because they are unwilled. They just appear in awareness without permission to later pass away, if we don't cling to them. It's not you. It's not yours, because you cannot will them to stop. Habits keep coming back. At best we can let them go and cultivate skillful thoughts to change the habits of what comes up in thinking. What is let go of weakens and what is cultivated strengthens. This helps to reduce the emotional significance of habitual thoughts. They are just old habits, and by letting them go the practitioner can take solace that these thoughts, that are let go of, can get weaker. They don't have to command any action on the meditator's part. The space of awareness, which is the 'knowing' faculty of the mind, that just witnesses what is there, is undisturbed and provides no authority to the thoughts. Just by witnessing them without blame or judgment and letting them drop helps to reduce the emotional significance those thoughts have, and reduce our identification with them. Rob says, "we choose to give power to thought." By choosing to obsess extremely about what we think we need to be happy, and by desiring to change the labels others have for us, we stay stuck in rumination. Again we can't change what people think of us, and what we think we need to be happy, beyond our necessities, is open to debate.

Anger

Rob says, "sometimes the emotion [we feel] just needs to be recognized and held, and sometimes there needs to be an action." Anger is often a difficult emotion, but we can hold anger in the body until it naturally dissolves. Sometimes we need to act on the anger, but as you can read in the link below, this anger has to be devoid of hatred. Anger is not hostility, or aggression. It's an engagement that includes care for others, and acceptance with how the world is. It is also a way to analyze the self that is in anger and to train responsibility to prevent endless papañca caused by passive submission, or to prevent aggressive outbursts that will cause regret and more reasons for papañca.

Time and the emptiness of time

A lot of our thinking involves time. Shame involves the past. In the present we sometimes want tiring things to end, or we feel we don't have enough time for something. The future may hold for us things we don't want. We may want to preserve things in time. A lot of suffering involves time. Rob likes the Mahayana tradition that uses Nagarjuna's work on inherent existence. Nothing is inherent, meaning, nothing is permanently solid. Rob uses the term reification, or to make real, but I feel solidity is a better term, so we do not get into mind-only attitudes about reality, which are not practical. Things are real but our mind filters reality, simplifies it, and gets caught up emotionally to control what is ultimately not completely solid. Some things are more solid than others, but our concerns for past, present and future, view them as separate solid periods of time that are disembodied from our lives, when in fact time is a conceptual construct, and heavily involves human memory. The way in is to see the papañca, or the stressful over-complication of thinking, as something that makes time more solid than it is. By meditating and letting go of stressful thinking, and the need to control what is uncontrollable, the time solidity starts to weaken. Essentially what we are experiencing has already happened micro-seconds ago, and we are reacting to our short-term and long-term memories. The past is gone and cannot be changed regardless of how many times we rehearse what we should have done.

Deeper than thinking

As we gain facility with meditation and thinking, Rob cautions us into thinking that we've gotten enlightenment with consistent mindfulness in daily life, or what people call bare attention. Our entire ability to be conscious, and even the witness that observes experience is built up on unconscious thinking that can include "interpretations, beliefs, assumptions, views, and conceptions. They can shape, colour, and build our experience of awareness." In a way, the unconscious thinking affects what details we focus on and habitual perceptions will make our focus different from others who have different perceiving habits.

Deeper than all of that is what Rob translates as measurement. All of our experiences includes measurement, and comparison, even when there is no overt thinking. It's the ability to compare that allows us to have perceptions or the ability to recognize what is in the environment. Rob says, "when we recognize something we can only do this with a comparison of something different." Insightfully, those measurements are either appealing or unappealing.

For example, we can measure ourselves to others by noticing differences and have feelings of dissatisfaction arise if we come up short. Even more buried, we can have a sense of subject and object as a distance measurement in our meditation or daily life. Yet what we are experiencing is a reconstruction of reality. These measurements we make feed the clinging to people and objects, based on their appeal, and in turn the clinging can feed more detailed measurements of appeal, leading to papañca about how to control the environment and engage with what is appealing or to repel was is not appealing. The term Clinging here is connected with the effort of targeting an object to control for the purpose of satisfying cravings. There is a push to get rid of what is unpleasant and a pull to bring in what is pleasant, which can be felt in the body.

Three characteristics

Rob now explains how the three characteristics can help us see through the inherent existence, or solidity of objects, and become disenchanted. By seeing experiences and their impermanence, stress, and non-willed aspects, the practitioner finds "another quality that shines through experience that is not so dependent on whether [they] like it or not." With less emotional investment, or an equanimity, the stress starts to bleed out of experience. By having good concentration, and an alive presence, the practitioner can relax the push and pull caused by the measurement of experience. The brain is trained to see that the suffering connected with excessive control is not worth it and it lets go. When suffering decreases, the practitioner knows they are on the right track. As the senses fade, the awareness also fades, and the entire reconstruction of reality by the brain is revealed.

Rob Burbea

Working with thought in meditation: http://www.dharmaseed.org/talks/audio_player/210/10835.html

Thoughts and Images in Meditation: http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/17963/

Approaching the Dharma: Part One - Unbinding the World: http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/17960/

Approaching the Dharma: Part Two - Liberating ways of looking: http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/17961/

Only impressions in awareness: http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/9820/

Time and the emptiness of time: http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/11929/

Maya and Nirvana (Beyond the Measure of Mind): http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/10832/

Seeing that Frees: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780992848910/

Rob's recent retreat talks:

The Mirrored Gates: http://www.dharmaseed.org/retreats/3918/

Tending the Holy Fire: http://www.dharmaseed.org/retreats/3920/

Andrea Fella

Working with thoughts and thinking: https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/2407.html

Thanissaro Bhikkhu

You can't clone awakening: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2009/090904%20You%20Can't%20Clone%20Awakening.mp3

Your Landing Strip: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/shorttalks/y2015/150402(short)_Your_Landing_Strip.mp3

Going in light: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/shorttalks/y2016/160408(short)_Going_in_Light.mp3

Depend on Yourself: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/shorttalks/y2018/180627(short)_Depend_on_Yourself.mp3

Other resources:

Compassionate Wrath - Robert Augustus Masters: https://www.atpweb.org/pdf/masters.pdf

Dependent Co-arising - Various Authors: http://psychreviews.org/dependent-co-arising-various-authors/

Contemplative practice: http://psychreviews.org/category/contemplativepractice/

#meditation #buddhism

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dansnaturepictures · 2 years

Photo

Photos on my landscape and other outdoors calendar 2023: Cover and January-September

It’s time to reveal the line ups of my 2023 calendars that I make from my photos for personal use to be brought as a Christmas present and hang on my bedroom wall. Any photo I took from late April/May 2021 until May 2022 was eligible for these calendars, with any photo I now take from May 2022 until May 2023 or the month I finalise the lineup next year eligible for my 2024 calendars. In this post, and the two that follow today I shall reveal the line up of my 2023 landscape and other outdoors calendar. This post has ten of the photos making the calendar including a cover collage of two photos I chose, my next post has the other three photos and the actual files of the two on the collage, as well as two of twelve reserve photos that I shall be putting on day boxes on the calendar with the third post today having the other ten reserves. Tomorrow I reveal the photos on my wildlife 2023 calendar with the first post having ten of the photos on my lineup, the second post with the other three and two of the reserves and the third post tomorrow with the other ten reserves. The reserve photos are just in case I (but I never have) change my mind and feel a photo doesn’t work on the calendar when making it and with being able to print some on a day box too it allows me the chance to recognise photos that I am pleased with but not enough for it to be on a month or it doesn’t quite make it.

To anyone I know via Twitter reading this, I wasn’t going to tweet the line ups this year but after posting them on Facebook in a gush of sentimentality and desire to tweet something a little different on a working in the office day where I didn’t take a camera and didn’t take too many photos that evening from home on Wednesday 25th May I did tweet them after all. I prepared the below paragraph on why I wasn’t going to tweet them this year and it helps explain what my calendars are all about so I have left the text in this post below which may help explain if I decide not to tweet the line ups next year.

I initially decided to rest the Twitter uploads of the calendar line up for this year as a trial. Whilst I have much enjoyed doing this over the years, to do it there has to be a series of tweets so it’s hard to get all of the information in one place as I have in the three posts for each calendar here in a sense, that it’s calendars I make out of my photos for my personal use and I begin choosing the line up for them in late winter/early spring and have them chosen by May/June ahead of the often busier summer days for me over or after which I make them to have them ready with that time often flying by with anything from that point in a year onwards eligible for the next year’s calendars. So if people on Twitter even people I don’t know stumble across one tweet it could mislead people into thinking I am making a calendar to sell or make them think why is this person doing a calendar when we’re only half way through the year. But I was always going to keep my Tumblr and Facebook reveals with the former posting a link onto Twitter, as if I put the line ups out there once finalised it holds me to account that if I take photos I am really proud of between the reveal and making of the calendar which is typically August onwards I won’t try and fit it into the calendar and will simply keep it in mind for the year after as the line up is posted and it helps me protect those from the latter half of the previous year on the calendar of which I guarantee a quota of. With more causal ways of choosing the calendars needed compared to previous years due to my high photo yields overall these days, I did push it back by about a month this year and I may morph back into finalising the lineup later in the year like I used to but I am yet to do some serious thinking on that.

Below are the captions of the cover and first nine photos on the months, corresponding in order to the photos in this set with the first photo the cover, the second photo January and so on.

Cover: Collage of photos I took at Cenarth Falls in Wales in April 2022 and Aber Falls in Snowdonia in June 2021

I made a list of habitats or themes I wanted to cover on my 2023 landscape calendar and in the late stages of choosing rivers was one of the last of these I chose for, I knew I was lucky to have photos of two dramatic Welsh rocky rivers/waterfall that I had the pleasure of visiting between May 2021 and May 2022 but I couldn’t choose between them so decided to bring them together in a collage for the cover.

January: Sunrise by Lakeside Country Park on New Year’s Day 2022

One of the very first photos I took in 2022 which I am proud of that just stayed with me, it’s a sky dominated calendar really but having my first ever sunrise on one of my calendars and it not being something I photograph a lot compared to sunsets anyway really appealed to me. I can’t think of a better photo to open the calendar.

February: A view dominated by the lowering sun on an evening in February 2022 at Lakeside Country Park

Another local sky dominated scene from this year takes February and this is one of the photos I am most proud of. The outlines of the bare trees and the way the fence is lit up along the path I use so frequently made it stick long in the mind and stand out against other photos I’ve taken for me.

March: A view from Marloes Sands taken in April 2022

Coast and the two Welsh holidays during this selection period dominate the calendar too as its just a landscape I adore and my favourite place to be overall. This one from an early walk on that holiday is one I am pleased with and I don’t think I’ve ever taken a photo quite like that with the way the re-emerging sun on that day hits the sea water. The distinctive islands of the area are great to look at in the shot too but I don’t think I’ve done many shots focusing on the water so much as this and I just knew I had to get it on my landscape calendar.

April: A view from Skomer Island taken in April 2022

A photo that in a raw way does what I only ever want to do when I take a landscape photo, capture a scene I was stunned to see. This for me stood out instantly on our second day on Skomer the main point of the Pembrokeshire trip, it sums up everything I love about Pembrokeshire and everything this habitat means to me and all the glorious memories of that week.

May: View from where we stayed near Llanddaniel Fab in Anglesey in June 2021

One thing I knew for this calendar is it had to contain the mountains of Snowdonia whether the view of them from where we stayed in Anglesey last June or some within them on the day at Aber Falls. Looking towards the mountains and Snowdon itself was simply one of the greatest views I’ve ever seen and definitely some of the best ever from a guest house/cottage we have stayed in on holidays. It was a true honour to wake up to that every day for a week and seeing those views on different days helped make the holiday brilliant and I love the clouds shrouding the mountains in this shot too.

June: View from RSPB South Stack, Anglesey taken in June 2021

The interesting thing about the Anglesey photos is as I hope to do with Pembrokeshire and another trip we have coming up this year, as I have done a bit for the past few years, I made a photo book with photos from it and a weekend away in Rutland last year. So this one I have seen printed in that among others and I loved seeing it in that. But in the separate decision for the calendar for 2023 I just felt I had to get it on as it sums up the wonderful beauty we enjoyed in Anglesey and what a lovely area it is and the colour of the sea I find so appealing with the cliff meadow type area and the building key parts of a memorable image for me at a fantastic place.

July: Summery view at Cadman’s Pool in the New Forest taken in September 2021

One of my favourite ever images to take in the woods, showing the beauty of the woodland on a lush green late summer’s sunny day. Taken on one of the lesser trips of a packed September week off of day trips which had its big landscape photo moments for me I was pleased with this one straight away and it was one of the first photos I decided to put onto the calendar summing up much I love about a local and regular place we go for me.

August: View from Old Winchester Hill in the South Downs taken in August 2021

I had wanted to get a landscape photo from Old Winchester Hill onto a calendar for a few years as we go there annually sometimes more than once now for butterflies in the summer and it is such a beautiful place and area in the South Downs and taken on one the most important days for photos and wildlife for me in this selection period I just always liked this one.

September: Pig Bush in the New Forest, taken in September 2021

Taken the same week off as the Cadman’s Pool one, I realised in the selecting I don’t think I’ve ever put a purple heather scene on one of my calendars before and this was long overdue as its one of my favourite scenes to photograph in late summer and I have done it a lot. This at one of my favourite places rose above the rest from a strong season of it last year to get on and I am pleased to put it there.

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llazyneiph · 4 years

Photo

SIMBLREEN 2020

I love simblreen so this will be my third year partaking as a cc creator! This year I will be giving away a bunch of cc on the first weekend (23rd-25th) and then the weekend after (30th-1st) will be lastchance weekend, a second chance to grab the cc if you missed it a week before!

Everything will be uploaded the weekend after, so don’t worry if you missed it completely!

If you want to know more about simblreen, then you can find info at @simblreenofficial!

This year I will be handing out;

Several CAS CC

Several Buy Mode CC

Small Gameplay Mods

For the past month in prep for simblreen I have been thinking of ways I could possibly use this event to help people in need. I decided that the best way this could work is to choose a different charity for each day of simblreen, and send a link to their donate page alongside my cc link when I answer trick or treat asks.

Here are the charities and their corresponding days. Again, you do not need to donate in order to get a CC link, it will come alongside the link, but it would be greatly appreciated if you are able to donate.

Day 6, SHINE SA, is actually very personal to me. SHINE actually helped me start my medical transition, and currently looks after me regarding all that. They do way more though, they also help;

people 30 years and under

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people

people with disabilities including mental health people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds

men who have sex with men

sex workers

people living with HIV

people living in regional, rural and remote South Australia

Even if only one or two people donate in the entire 2 weeks, it’ll still make a difference!

Here’s my porchlight for this year! If you see the gif, then feel free to send me a trick or treat in my ask box off anon! (if you have run out of asks then you can send me a DM, but if you can send an ask then please do! I can very easily miss DMs!)

OFF

See you guys this weekend!

#simblreen #simblreen 2020 #simblrween #halloween #ts4

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echonidae · 3 years

Text

let’s talk commission stuff!

hey folks !! so i’ve been reorganizing myself to get commissions back on track, and i’ve got some things i’d like to get your input on, if it isn't too much trouble !! ;v;

it’s a long one, so under the cut it goes sdfghghj

a slightly too long tl;dr because apparently this is a 10min read (i'm so sorry): commission revamp on the works! no date for it yet. gonna be easing myself back with just icons for a while at first (no date for that either thoug, not yet), then the revamp will be in full swing with all the other commission options, and the pricetable for them will be changed in the future as well.

some questions:

1) i’m rethinking commission types, is there anything you’d like to see as a new option? 2) considering i tend to open only a handful slots every batch, i'm thinking about implementing a waitlist (with a bit of a twist: it's split between Current Batch and Next Batch; a little more complicated than a regular ol' waitlist, allows me to get through some of the waitlist queue as work gets done). would that interest you or is it too much of a headache? 100% open to suggestions! 3) i’m organizing a board on trello for commission stuffs !! any suggestions or specific things you’d like to see there?

so! it’s already been over a year since i last opened commissions and i’d very much like to get back to them ;o; it’s been way too long! i miss working with you folks aaa

i don’t have a reopening date yet, but i’m planning on opening only icons for a while to ease back into the process. later on, i'll open the other commission options too. you see, i’m working on a full revamp of the whole thing, including the terms of service and that info image with the examples (because looking back, i think it no longer really represents my current style and how i really do commissions in terms of just... plain old rendering and polishing), so i’ll be working on new drawings and a new layout too, and all that good jazz :D

for full disclosure, along with this overhaul of the terms and such, i will be updating prices too c: i’m still working on the new values though, since i need to figure out what commission types/options the overhaul will have. which brings me to the first question here: what would you like to see as a commission option? for reference, here’s the og options:

(hoo i need to redo those examples *sweats*)

also, one more thing i’d like to note about this revamp situation: there isn’t a whole lot that’s changing really haha it’s just been a long, long time since i last did commissions, so i’m reviewing terms and i might change stuff that’s become outdated, or that needs clarification. if you’ve commissioned me before, the process itself is still the same so no worries! once the revamp is out, i’ll point out anything that has changed too c:

in regards to price changes, those first icon-only batches will be in their original price, and the new prices will only take effect once the revamp with the other options is out. it will be quite a while before until that, but if you have any concerns, feel free to message me any time ! either way, i’ll keep you folks posted !! i guess i also could post the new prices before implementing them, if that helps!

so, moving on! now to the waitlist situation <:3c as in, i’ve never had one, a while back someone asked if i did, and now that i’m reorganizing things, i’m wondering if it would be good to implement one :3c feel free to send any questions !! or suggestions!! i'm all ears!!!

usually i only open a handful of slots for each batch, right, and once they're all claimed, the commissions are closed until all the slots are finished. folks who missed the slots have to wait until the next batch, and sometimes those batches take a while to come back, and i usually just message those who missed the opening once the new batch is announced.

what i'm thinking for the waitlist is, i'll open it along with the batch of commissions, and limit it to a specific number of spots or close it by a specific date, whichever comes first. to apply for it, people would just need to send the form and i can tell them immediately whether or not i can draw their request, and then they'll be placed on the waitlist in the order they’ve been accepted c: pretty standard stuff.

here’s the important bit: that list is basically split in two. the first handful of people on the list, corresponding to the amount of slots for the current batch, will be reached out to as i finish working on the claimed slots, and then anyone else on the waitlist will be contacted shortly before the next batch. if, by the time the list closes, not all the opened slots have been claimed, folks on the list will simply be moved up the queue accordingly c: all of it would be discussed individually, of course, and very well disclosed in the commission info!

there are other points to it as well: anyone would be able to request a spot on the next batch's waitlist instead of the current one, and anyone can leave either list at any point. folks who had already claimed a slot when it first opened would only be able to apply for the next batch's waitlist (to give everyone a chance of getting one), and people on the list, either for the current or the next round of commissions, can be skipped up to a limit if they're unable to continue the order once i get to them.

oh and, before i forget, with the waitlist in place, i think i’d no longer be able to put slots on hold as i used to (as in, before paying the first invoice), as it’d be unfair to folks on the list. in that case, the person would be placed on the list as well if they want to, and contacted as soon as possible : )

also the "up to 2 slots per person" thing would be on thin ice too haha

anyway, this is kind of what i intended to do back then, with reopening slots as work gets finished, but never got around to. i want to make sure i don’t swamp myself with work, but also have it so that folks who want slots have a good chance of getting them, whether for the current batch or the next, as there's only so many slots i can open and work on at once, and time zones and irl things are to be considered too for anyone interested c:

it also makes it easier for me to keep track of messaging folks about new slots and such, and the list would be made public and easily available for consulting too : D more on this later!

so how's this looking? i've never done waitlists before and barely knew how they're supposed to work before starting to reorganize things, so please do feel free to voice your thoughts !! i’m 100% open to suggestions !!! do you think this system would work out for you? any concerns? if anything is unclear feel free to point it out, i'll do my best to explain the process or change stuff that doesn't quite work!!

so!!! now to the very last thing i wanted to talk about ! trello!

i’m making a little trello board for updates on commission stuff! my commission info page here on tumblr and on deviantart both have this little section for updates on each slot’s progress, but i admittedly didn't do a good job keeping them updated (and constantly updating two things in different places just. kinda sucks.), so i’ve been diving into trello to unify that update section in one place and keep things nice and organized and transparent : ) it would be super useful for keeping track of the waitlist too, if that becomes a thing, or for updates on commission status and such!

so far i’m only testing things out, so it’s looking like this right now (sorry for the tiny image!):

(the board is lying btw, commissions are very much closed haha) (also if it’s basically unreadable, here’s the upload on sta.sh)

with all those little lists, the “available slots” and “sketch” and “lineart” and whatnot, i would be moving the card along the process : D and adding the appropriate labels, of course

this way i can have those halfsteps labelled too (working on/halfway through/finishing), since there’s only so many colors i can use without making it confusing (and tbh i’m already not too thrilled about color labels as it is, but it beats typing each individual status, and i’d imagine it’s more readable for folks consulting the list as well)

i really like how this looks so far in terms of organization but i’m unsure if the horizontal scrolling is anything but annoying, specially to folks on mobile (with the way i divide my screen on desktop, it certainly isn’t ideal either), so if you have any experience with that, feel free to let me know your thoughts!! there are a thousand different ways to organize this, and this is all a work in progress too c:

so! anything specific you folks would like to see on trello? i know this is a fairly common tool for commission queues and info and such but i’m super new to this platform, so please feel free to send suggestions! ♥

anyway yeah! that’s it! ;0; !

i’m sorry for the super long post, i’ve just been thinking about a lotta stuff haha i feel like i don’t interact a whole lot as it is, and since commissions are very much a team effort, i do want to get input from you folks on it c: it’s good to get a fresh perspective as well!

thank you so much for reading this far !! let me know your thoughts !!! :D ♥

#oh boy.txt #:3c #;;yeowline #the word batch can be found 28 times in this post #waitlist is present 24 times #slot = 32 times (28 being the plural)#commission? 46 times #phew!#also!#doodlesketch stuff #eye strain #for the art there haha

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wakaoujisenhime · 4 years

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Hello! I really fall in love with your blog! Thank you very much for those Vorpal Swords headcanons! Can I ask headcanons about being Rakuzan manager? For example, how she cares about boys and they care about her; how Rakuzan protects her; How she supports them at games. And Akashi likes her. Good luck to your blog!

A/N: Hello there! I’m glad to know that you’re enjoying these, so I hope that this one will be to your liking as well! Also to those who don’t know what a ‘bokken’ is: it’s basically a wooden sword, Japanese swordswomen and men use for training!

Tags: Akashi x reader ✅ Rakuzan x reader ✅ SFW ✅ fluff ✅ friendship ✅

image/art source: Zerochan (art by Tousaku) [I sadly couldn't find the corresponding post where they uploaded it, since that artist seems to be inactive atm, but if you happen to stumble upon it, please make sure to tell me!]

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

so first of all how did you even become Rakuzan’s manager?

well you were actually taking care of the team BEFORE Akashi joined the club

back then you guys were a wholesome team, but the moment the redhead was pronounced captain it all went downhill...

your former teammates began dropping out with the same complaints

“He’s too strict”, “I can’t train like this anymore”, “When he’s on the court, basketball loses its fun factor!”

even if you hated to admit it...they were right

Akashi was a REALLY strict leader who always wanted his team members to give it their all

100%? Not enough, make it a 110 and then you might be chosen as a substitute

during the first half of the school year, you put up with everything he threw at you, whether it were insults or commands

at one point you weren’t even the manager anymore but became his loyal puppy that did everything he instructed you to do

the things he requested weren’t even worthy to your title...unless you like standing in front of the gym door, acting like a bodyguard at the disco

and of course, even you had your limits

after Akashi had once again decided to give you an unreasonable task, you finally snapped

“I’ve had enough! Just who do you think you are, ordering me around as if I was your subordinate!”

“Listen. You either fix that emperor like attitude of yours, or you end up losing one of Japan’s strongest team...including me.”

in your state of anger, you had shoved the clipboard you were using against his chest and had stormed off the gym

a whole week had passed and you didn’t visit the club even once, that’s how pissed off you were

one day just when you thought about filling up a club withdrawal paper, there was a letter in your locker

...

Dear (Y/N)...I know that the way I’ve been acting up until now has upset you, but the reasoning behind my behavior is a simple one. All I desire is to see whom of these ‘star players’ everybody (including you) praises, can actually live up to their title. Sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion that none of them were able to, so I’ve decided to build up a new team in which you as well are going to be needed. I sincerely hope that you are willing to help the new Rakuzan basketball club reach even greater heights than ever before. Yours faithfully, Akashi Seijuro

P.S: We need you manager.

...

the first half of the letter had made your blood boil, but the further you read the more your curiosity got peaked

but you didn’t want to give in that easily, so you decided to visit the club one day to see what Akashi’s idea of an absolute basketball team looked like

...

“So (Y/N)..what do you think?“, Akashi asked after practice had ended

you had just looked at him with one of your ‘are you kidding me?’ faces and shook your head

these boys...

a) looked like full-fledged men to you

b) could easily snap you in half if they wanted to (especially Nebuya)

and finally

c) were probably all legendary NBA players in their past life

all in all they were amazing

watching them play gave you the impression of an actual and professional basketball game...that’s just how good they were

...

two months passed and you had taken the role of the manager once again

you hated to admit it, but Akashi was once again right..this team was absolutely amazing and worthy of any title you could think of

luckily these boys turned out to be more wholesome than you had ever anticipated

knowing that all of them had their struggles and own problems to deal with, despite their flawless appearance made you realize that that they were indeed your typical high school boys and not some basketball machines

sadly they couldn’t - or better said - weren’t allowed to show any weakness during training...these were Akashi’s orders

much to your surprise, they had accepted it with much less resistance than the members before them, but you were a little anxious that they might end up quitting the team so you took it upon yourself to prevent that scenario from arriving

from that day forward you began spending more and more time with all the members (except Akashi) …

Reo:

as the vice-captain he was to ensure that everybody followed the training regimen they were given by the redhead (in case of his absence)

sadly due to his laid-back nature and feminine speech, almost no one took him seriously

that’s where you come in…

“Come on now guys! Listen to Reo or I’ll get the bokken! And if that doesn’t get you guys moving then I’m sure a short phone call with Akashi certainly will...”

the second line always worked and even managed to make Reo giggle

after that, he’d always thank you several times and while the others ran laps/were stretching the two of you would always talk about that day’s schedule

by the end of practice, Reo and you would actually go out and do some shopping while talking about different topics

and thanks to his talented eye for the beautiful, your wardrobe was full with clothes that complimented your figure just perfectly, which only boosted your ego

a certain topic you guys started talking about only recently was romance

at first you were extremely careful to not touch upon any touchy subject since there were a lot of rumors amongst your classmates, concerning Reo’s sexual orientation

but the more you got to know him, the easier it was for you to talk to him and in no time the two of you had become best friends

whenever someone either came up to you or him and wanted to just mess around, the two of you got each other’s backs at all time and would either intervene directly or call for backup (mainly Nebuya)

thanks to Reo’s ‘big sister’ personality you luckily never felt alone or at a loss, since you knew that he’d always be there for you and help you out

Kotarou:

this boy seriously makes you run for your money

he’d always arrive almost half an hour earlier than the others just cause he wants to mess around with you (he’d for example take your clipboard and make you literally chase him for it)

at first it upset you quite a bit, but as time passed you eventually got used to it and evolved your strategy

you chase him?

hell NO

you’d instead sit down on one of the benches and wait for him to bring it back to you

your strategy for that was to remain silent and show no reaction whatsoever whenever he asked if you weren’t going to chase him like the ‘good old times’

he’d then get so worried that he’s upset you that he gives up, brings you your clipboard and starts either poking your cheeks, playing with your hair or straight out embrace you

the latter always broke your façade

his warm hugs accompanied by the glistening puppy eyes and his snaggletooth always made you pity him and wonder if you’ve perhaps gone too far

the moment you’d give in, his cheerful attitude was back in an instant

and that routine became pretty much a daily ritual between the two of you

what perhaps surprised you the most was when you actually witnessed Kotarou’s other side of his bubbly personality

he was surprisingly the ‘holding a grudge’ type (especially on the court)

Rakuzan had a practice match once and when a player of the opposing team made it past the blond boy seconds later he was fuming, glaring at everyone who even looked his way and screamed more as well as louder than usual

the others around you weren’t even faced by his sudden tantrum so it was up to you to calm him down before the referee gave him a yellow card

since then his mood-swings became your responsibility

outside of the gym, you guys spent a good amount of time together

you mostly helped him out with his homework since he really wasn’t the brightest out of the bunch (and as some of you might know in Japan your grades play a major role when you’re a part of a club. Depending on your test results you might get excluded from some of the activities as far as I know) and you weren’t going to leave on any activity without this ball of sunshine

to pay you back for your help he’d go skateboarding with you on the weekend

in case you forgot or couldn’t skate he’d help you remember or teach it to you

much to your surprise, he was quite a good teacher, so it was easy for you to understand the basics and even learn some of the simplest tricks on the way

but in case you were some kind of a pro (or simply good) at it, he’d challenge you to a small contest and by the end of it the two of you would actually come up with a small choreography

Nebuya:

to be frank, he intimidated the heck out of you (at first) and he was actually the most difficult for you to approach

the main reason for your reluctance was mainly because of his appearance, but just a day after you were first introduced to him made you change your mind

on your way to school you took the train and as commonly known the trains in Japan were the majority of the time extremely filled with people and some of them just couldn’t keep their hands by themselves and just had to go ahead and start feeling people up

in that case, the victim was unfortunately you

the typical reaction of your other female classmates would’ve been to stand there and do nothing about it, but you were different

“Excuse me, but could you stop touching me?“, you asked in a loud voice making sure that at least some people witnessed what was happening

you couldn’t care less if you guys became the center of attention, all you wanted was to get this creep’s hands away from your body...and you did

what you didn’t know/notice was that Nebuya had actually seen all of it and wanted to come and help, but you were quicker

when you got out of the train he caught up to you and directly asked if you were ok

he even went ahead and bowed his head to you apologizing multiple times for not reacting quick enough

it surprised and scared you at the same time, but this was kind of a chance to finally talk to him, so you made sure to not let that opportunity slip away

and trust me when I say this, but this man turned out to be a bigger softie than you anticipated

since that day he became the person you’d call upon first in case of trouble you couldn’t solve on your own

Nebuya even volunteered to be your bodyguard, but you weren’t really a damsel in distress so you refused at first

and after many arguments, pouts and pleas you finally gave in and agreed to go to school together every day

additionally during training he’d make sure to be the first one to save you from any flying ball

much to his dismay, you managed to dodge or even to catch the majority of them which made his attempts completely futile

so in order for him to stop sulking about how he had ‘failed to show you his muscles in action’, you’d go out and help him with his workout

sometimes you’d even be his motivational right hand during his own eating contests

and when he decided to show his ‘manly’ side and either burps or lets out gas, your bokken was on him just some seconds later

Mayuzumi:

this boy seriously hated you in the beginning

in his eyes you were nothing but a loud girl who wanted some attention and tried to gain it by acting as the manager

much to his surprise you figured him out pretty quickly

you somehow knew when he became irritated on the court and immediately took action to prevent any outbursts from him or someone else

furthermore, you supported his hobby without asking questions and when he expressed the wish to go to the rooftop and read a chapter or maybe even two from his light novel, you’d just let him go

one afternoon he came to the gym to excuse himself from training and found only you and how you had fallen asleep on the referee table

his first thought was to leave before you even noticed that he’d been there, but then he saw a small notebook with the title ‘RAKUZAN BB CLUB’ so he got curious and started reading your handwritten entries about all of the members

each member had a few pages worth of information you had either gathered yourself or looked up

he found it a tad adorable that you reserved the last page for a personal comment on a player since it reminded him of how some of his authors wrote an afterword at the end of their story

as soon as he read his name though he suddenly became really reluctant to proceed

for some reason, he was afraid of what you might have written/researched about him

he started to read it anyways

“...”

“Has a low presence...well yeah I guess”

“...”

“Seems to be prouder than he lets on? W-Wha? That’s not even...true”

“...”

“Probably swears at his teammates internally...how did she know?!”

“...”

“It would make me happy if we talked more to each other, but he probably hates me... ”

Mayuzumi would’ve never told you, but that last line hurt him quite a bit

that day he decided to join practice and when you called for a timeout you’d always leave his towel and water bottle on the bench next to you and he’d normally just take it, but this time he murmured a barely audible ‘thank you’

you almost fainted then and there, but somehow managed to keep up your serious facial expression (which he very much appreciated)

the two of you would almost never go out/spend time together, but instead, you began exchanging small gestures like you buying him a new volume of his favorite author or him hiding a small ‘thank you’ note in your notebook

Akashi (finally):

since you and he know each other from way back, you didn’t have that much contact in the beginning since you wanted to take your time to get to know the new members, but Akashi’s eyes were always on you

if someone out of the other members even dared to ask him if he harbored feelings for you...then let us just pray that he doesn’t have Midorima’s scissors with him

but if one of his main players (most likely Kotarou) asked him about it, he’d just cut him off quickly and shut the conversation down

Rakuzan’s captain cares for you in his own kind of way

he’d support you from afar and make sure that no one who he doesn’t deem as worthy comes even remotely close to you

you weren’t aware, but since you had once again become the manager of the reformed Rakuzan you became quite popular

a lot of people admired you, some were even impressed or jealous and some even began having feelings for you

“I’m thinking about asking (Y/N) out...what do you think?”

as soon as Akashi heard your name in such a conversation he instantly made his move

don’t ask how he did it, but within a week you had gained the reputation of being ‘out of limits’ for everyone except for the club and your friends and just in case someone felt the need to be adventurous, there was no way they’d be let into the gym (thanks to Akashi’s orders and Nebuya’s muscular body)

the redhead had first noticed his feelings for you when you snapped at him back then

for him it was the first time someone even dared to speak up against him and even insult him

he was surprised and very annoyed at first, but as the days passed by him and his incomplete team he figured that it would be the best to start anew

so he scouted three of the uncrowned kings and a 3rd-year student who basically was a future version of Kuroko

when the stage was set all he needed was for the main star to appear, so he sent you that letter where he invited you to watch the new team

as far as the confession goes...

Akashi is a very strategic person, so he’d most likely wait for his promise to come true (the promise of Rakuzan reaching greater heights) and then confess saying something like:

“See? I’ve kept my promise...now it’s your turn.”

#knb headcanons #knb x reader #akashi x reader #rakuzan x reader #knb fluff #━𝙺𝙽𝙱 #━𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽'𝚂 𝙴𝙲𝙷𝙾

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radioactivepeasant · 4 years

Text

Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

(Full disclosure, this is a chunk of a toshinko fic I wrote a few years ago purely for my own amusement. I may upload it someday, but I haven't decided on that front yet)

She almost turned his offer to escort her home down on the grounds that she was a Nobody and he was going to get swarmed with people asking weird questions.

She didn’t turn him down in the end.

Forever after, neither of them were sure how they’d fallen into discussing personal matters, especially when under normal circumstances neither would be caught dead pouring out their heart to a stranger. Perhaps she’d just needed the catharsis. Perhaps he'd needed the human connection. When they reached her little apartment at last -- at least Hisashi had stayed long enough to help her move -- All Might handed her the umbrella.

“Wh- no I can’t take- what about you?” Inko sputtered.

“Ahaha no worries! I’ll be right as rain!” All Might flashed a peace sign, then broke into muffled giggles. “Wow. That was horrible. I’m so sorry.”

Inko laughed, and All Might jumped away, and that should have been the end of it.

But it wasn’t.

[[MORE]]

A few weeks later Inko found a note taped to her door in the unmistakable handwriting of All Might.

Hoping there have been a few less rainy days in your life lately! :D

There was even a small doodle of an umbrella with his distinctive eyebrows and smile.

After taking an hour or two to get over the sheer shock of All Might remembering her -- let alone where she lived -- Inko found herself sticking the note to her refrigerator.

Second-guessing herself the whole way, Inko taped a note of her own on her door, a short and sweet heartfelt thanks for him going out of his way to make sure she was alright, and listening to her complaining. After a moment’s hesitation, she added a doodle of her own. A rainbow with his smile.

The note stayed on her door for two days and Inko tried not to be disappointed. Logically she knew it was extremely unlikely that a hero of his caliber would even be in her city, let alone on this end of town, and even if he was, he’d be far too busy for social visits. (Why was she expecting All Might to make social visits?!)

On day three the note was gone and something else was in its place.

It wasn’t carefully written on blank paper this time. It was hastily done, as if on the spot, and on the back of what looked like a grocery list. Still, it was fairly obvious who it was from.

It was no trouble at all, please don’t worry about it! Truthfully, it was nice to get to just talk with someone like that. Actually, I don’t get to do that very often! :D

Wishing you and the baby the best! - AM :D :D

Oh lord. The baby. That’s right, she was pregnant. She was literally constructing a human being from scratch!

...okay, it sounded kind of metal when she thought of it like that.

Inko shuffled back inside to make a stiff cup of chamomile and figure out how to organize the very bizarre amount of money Hisashi had sent her. He was as broke as she was, probably, going to that exclusive medical school. But he'd somehow managed to scrape up enough in mismatched bills to cover at least two doctors' visits. And he'd sent a pack of pacifiers?

Bless his heart, but Fujioka Hisashi didn't know much about babies. Inko taped his "sorry I'm an idiot, can we still be friends" note up on the fridge. Then, after a moment's pause, she added the second note from All Might.

Somehow, the notes became a regular thing after that. He started slipping them through the mail slot rather than taping them to the door, which was probably safer in the long run. And she started hiding hers under the mat, in a plastic bag.

She probably could have just sent the notes to his agency, like every other fan, but she worried that it would be lost among the hundreds of thousands of other letters.

Short “how are you” notes became mid-length “fought an umbrella themed villain today and thought of you, how are you?” notes. Sometimes Inko left letters about everything and nothing, talking about how she saw a flower blooming in a place it shouldn’t have been and it looked so hopeful there that she felt like everything was going to be alright. Sometimes she sent a favorite poem.

Once, about two months in, she’d just barely referenced rent and a doctor’s bill coming at the same time and within a week he’d sent her an envelope with a check to cover both. She’d been horribly embarrassed, and there was an awkward tension in the letters for a week or two until they settled the fact that she wasn’t looking for charity and he only wanted to help.

Three months of letters and Inko had begun to feel as though she knew the Symbol of Peace. Actually knew him. Oh, it was just a silly fantasy, of course, it had to be. No doubt he was barely sharing anything about himself, and he probably did this with other fans too. Or at least, she’d thought that until one of his letters questioned a mention of Mitsuki asking why she was happy all the time now and her not knowing how to answer. Hadn’t she told anyone about the letters?

No, actually, I never told anyone, Inko had written back, I’m not sure why. I’m sure this is a normal thing you do, since you’re so kind, but I can’t help worrying that some people will say nasty things about you if they find out you’re penpals with a pregnant lady.

The response had come on the same day, a post-it note on her door in the space between getting off the couch and walking to the door. She’d just missed him, evidently.

Had to run, sorry for shortness, it said, But you’re the only one I write to.

Inko had needed to sit down after that.

The following morning there was a three page letter resting on the floor just under the mail slot. It was handwritten, as all the others had been, and expanded on the post-it note. All Might was writing to say that while he did try to personally answer fanmail, this wasn’t fanmail. This was a correspondence with a friend (at least, he hoped it was, he was pretty sure it was, he wasn’t trying to overstep any boundaries or anything--). That he felt that he’d come to know her as a person in the last three months, that he looked forward to getting her notes every week. That he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, not ever, but perhaps it would be best if at some point they could meet and discuss things in person so there were fewer chances of misunderstandings?

Inko had to read it six times before it sunk in that All Might was asking to meet her. All Might was asking to meet her! She was in a daze all through her commute to work and most of the way through her workday. Her boss was forgiving enough to chalk it up to pregnancy and simply remind her to actually answer the phones when they rang. When her lunch break came, Inko wandered down to a small grocery store on the same street as her office -- much better prices than the one in her neighborhood, but an hour was a long trip just for groceries so she tended to use the other store. Still in a bit of a fog, Inko didn’t notice until too late that the canned fruit she was looking for was on a shelf much much higher than she could actually reach.

She could’ve just used her quirk to get it down, but...well, unlicensed public quirk use was illegal, no matter how impractical that was. Inko stretched up with one hand, keeping the other hand on her stomach. The baby apparently disapproved of this sudden movement and was rolling around. He liked it when she was walking, not so much when she was stretching. (And still she hadn’t picked a name for him. She’d tried a few, but nothing seemed to stick.)

“Here, let me-!”

Someone reached up over her head and brought down the can. At first glance, out of the corner of her eye, Inko almost mistook him for All Might. But that was ridiculous, right? His hair was wild and curly, all save two long bangs he’d sort of let flop loose in front of his face. And while he was definitely muscular, he didn’t quite seem to have the same level of definition as All Might. Very close, though. Inko realized she was staring at him and blushed bright red.

“S-sorry! You didn’t have to do that!” she stammered as he handed her the can.

“Well I didn’t want you to get hurt,” the man said with surprising sincerity, “Sorry if that was awkward haha I’m...bad at social things.”

And that was Inko’s introduction to Yagi Toshinori. He’d clumsily introduced himself and then dashed off blushing the moment her back was turned. Odd fellow. There’d been something strangely familiar about his eyes, though, and she just couldn’t place it. They looked almost like...nah. Couldn’t be.

Four weeks later, one of her neighbors asked her about “the buff American-looking guy” who slipped letters through her door at weird hours and Inko had an epiphany. If it was All Might, they’d have seen All Might. And probably called the presses. But the things in the letters were things that only All Might would know unless someone else had been reading her letters. With shaking hands, she wrote her next letter and slipped it under the mat.

If I met you while you were off the clock, would I still recognize you?

If she hadn’t been sore and unwilling to move from the couch, she would have waited by the door to see if she could catch her mystery penpal. She fell asleep there, waiting, and didn’t wake up again until her phone alarm went off the next morning to tell her to get ready for work. Grumbling, Inko showered, changed, and managed some form of breakfast. The baby really really hated miso and natto, so she’d been sticking to things like eggs and yogurt and citrus.

“Come on kid, I miss soup,” Inko groaned as she shoved an orange into her purse for later and bolted. She almost stepped on the folded piece of paper at the door. Already running late, she stuck it into her purse and didn’t even look at it until hours later that day.

Well, you would now, was all it said.

#free day thursday #bnha au #bnha #toshinko #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #midoriya inko #inko midoriya #Izuku isn't born yet #self-indulgent au is self-indulgent and i make no apologies #pen pals #Toshi is like 'this is safer than texting right?'#somewhere Gran Torino is having a conniption #fic excerpt #fic prompts #writing prompts #long post

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soldouthaz · 4 years

Photo

hi!! these past few months i’ve gotten several asks about all different parts of my writing process and i thought i’d go ahead and make a full post that i can refer people back to in the future! with the fests coming up as well hopefully it may help someone because i know i always love reading about author’s processes! feel free to let me know if i’ve forgotten anything :)

DISCLAIMER: this is MY writing process. these are my own opinions and maybe not methods that will work blanketly for everyone. writing is different for every person and you should always do what works best for you personally!

this post will be split into four parts - before, during, after, and other tips and things to remember :)

inspiration & idea

this is typically either the easiest or the absolute most difficult part of writing a fic. sometimes you begin with an exact idea and other times you want to write but have no idea where to start. personally i tend to draw inspiration from a few places in particular. writing prompt and dialogue blogs, although sometimes a bit cliche, are a huge help when trying to come up with ideas for scenes and outlines. these are some good ones – here, here, and here if you need some inspiration! pinterest and weheartit are also great places to search for inspiration both before or after you’ve settled on an idea. find an aesthetic you like and base the characters around it, do some world-building, create folders for your characters - this is a good place to reference back to while you’re writing! at this point i just try to pick something that i feel like ‘calls to me’ and leave the rest for later. the last avenue that i use to think of fic ideas is real life. i think of small things that have happened to me or to someone i know and make them much more dramatic and layered. add in some fluff or angst or whatever aspect fits and usually a storyline begins to carve itself!

outline

once you have an idea, making an outline can help you figure out if it’s going to work for you or not. nailing down the important details and plot points before you begin writing is crucial so that you have a purpose to your scenes, so that things don’t feel repetitive or pointless. when i outline i tend to organize by word count. for instance, by the 5k mark let’s say i’d like to already have established what character A does for a living and some of their interests, and i’d like character B to be vaguely introduced. by 10k i’d like the characters to have formed a friendship and for the conflict to have been introduced, so on and so forth. the plot spacing may differ based on the goal word count for a fic (do things happen quickly or is it a slow burn? etc.).

next I make a tentative timeline for the fic. I have to give myself sufficient time to plan and to write without rushing myself, but also make it reasonable enough that i can still look forward to it! writing takes different amounts of time for different people, but the more you write the more you’ll be able to estimate how long a certain word count is going to take you to complete. also, as far as advice goes, decide if you’re going to write everything and publish at once or if you’re going to upload weekly chapters, etc. i strongly recommend publishing a full work at once. typically people shy away from unfinished works and it can be very disheartening when there are almost no reads. publishing all at once will raise the chances of your fic being read and shared and will also help you as a writer not to make mistakes because you are able to go back and fix/edit certain plot points as you write.

organization

if you have more than one wip at a time, it can be really helpful to have some sort of organization in place. i write primarily in google docs, so i have one master doc with all of my wip information inside of it. i use a numbered chart (the docs themselves are titled with numbers only and correspond to the number in the chart) that has the tentative title, the goal word count, the current word count, which pov i plan to write from, and an estimated posting date. you can also limit the number of wips you have this way.once a work is published i move it from my wip list to my completed list, with the title, the final word count, and a link to the posted story. this part is optional, it just helps me to be able to see all of it in one place. i’ve found this method to be much more helpful than just making random notes on my phone that i forget about within the hour!

research

depending on the topic of your fic and the setting, you may need to do some research beforehand. if it’s historical, I brush up on the history of it and watch some films or read some books about the time period to get a feel for the vernacular and style, etc.. if the protagonist has a job i’m unfamiliar with I search up what they do, how much they make, where they work, and things like that. it’s unlikely that someone is going to fact check every little thing, but accuracy when it comes to these topics is very admirable and i feel like it really adds a lot of depth and authenticity to a fic.

another fun activity for this portion of planning is designing the characters. i try to do this for a lot of mine and experiment with personality traits, quirks, and appearances, and to create a character that feels layered as opposed to just surface level. it’s fun for me to figure out their morals and motives and opinions and to play around with those and see if they can be changed throughout the course of the story. an interesting activity here is to take personality tests from what you think they would answer about themselves! then, even if only subconsciously, your character now has interests and hobbies and feels more real, which will definitely show through when you write. there are some for you to take here, here, here, and here, and this is also a good resource.

atmosphere

(meaning in real life, not the setting of a fic). i tend to produce what i feel is my best work at night, after dinner when i have nothing else to do for the day and i can just relax. having a designated time and space to write really helps with motivation and focus, and can be the difference in accomplishing your time goals for the fic. feel free to try different things like adding music while you write (i write with headphones in and music blasting!) and adjust your surroundings to your liking. put on noise cancelling headphones, stop the clock that keeps ticking in the background or turn up the floor fan to drown other things out, or play some ambience videos from youtube to help you focus. whatever works! sometimes i also create playlists for my fics that i listen to while writing them which can add some more depth to the story too! being comfortable and not distracted are my two main requirements. also, unless it’s for music or research purposes, i would suggest distancing a bit from your phone as well!

word vomit

this is one of the most frustrating parts of writing but i can’t explain how many times it’s helped me, especially when i’m trying to reach a certain word count. i like to do an exercise when i don’t know what to write or i just have a vague idea where i sit down and just write. i don’t let myself backspace anything (unless it’s a small typo or something minor like that) and i just see where i end up. the reason why this is so helpful is because a lot of times subconsciously our brains already have some kind of idea of a direction to go in or what should be included. though this rough draft almost never makes it into my final piece and frankly doesn’t make much sense, i’m able to go back and read over it and think oh! that’s a good point, i can also write about [random plot point] here! as i think of it.

dialogue

the very first part of a scene that i write is the dialogue. personally i find it the easiest, and it helps me make a skeleton of a scene where i only have to fill in the descriptions in between. most of the time getting the dialogue written can help to visualize a scene and make conversation flow easily when you aren’t distracted with everything else going on in the scene. a lot of times if you’re focused on what a background character is doing the actual speaking may end up choppy or not make sense when you’re finished with it, which is usually my issue. this method is a good idea to use if you find yourself stuck on a scene or if you don’t know what you want the setting to be yet. if the dialogue you wrote doesn’t fit just right once you’ve added in the rest of the scene, you can always alter it to your liking.

taking breaks

this is the key to staying motivated for me. if i push myself too hard or write for too long i get frustrated and struggle to keep the flow going. it’s important to take a break when that happens because it becomes very obvious in your writing when you aren’t inspired. you’re more likely to take the easy way out of conflicts and dialogue and it could completely change the tone of the fic. by this i don’t mean procrastinate writing, but definitely make sure not to over-write. writing should be fun, not stressful.

similar fics

this step is 100% optional, but i find that it really helps me. when i read other author’s fics and i get inspired, the scene really sticks in my brain. to avoid accidentally copying someone’s ideas from their own fic, if i know that i’m writing something similar, i avoid reading any fic with a similar premise during the entire writing process. even if i think i won’t, often times i’ll subconsciously mirror a scene or a piece of dialogue from another fic without meaning to. this is definitely something to look for when you’re reading it back over!

balanced elements

this step really just depends on the type of fic i’m going for, but i’ve found that fics with some balance to them tend to do better than others. by this i mean fics that have a little of each important element like angst, fluff, smut, etc.. of course, this differs from fic to fic depending on the plot. if it’s a pwp, obviously the main element will be smut. if it’s got some heavy topics in it it may be primarily angst, or a holiday fic might be just fluff. all of these are okay on their own but it’s super easy to mix them together to create more realistic scenes and meaningful emotion in the dialogue. in a pwp i try to add some back story into it, something a little angsty or that gives the smut more meaning than just surface level (unless of course that’s what you’re going for!). on the flip side, you could take a really fluffy fic and at some smutty elements that enhance the love-y feelings from the fluff. even fluff/angst might be fun to explore! my point is that realistically we feel many emotions at once, all the time. when i write one alone my writing often feels like it falls flat and my message/theme doesn’t come across the way that i want it to.

resources

there is a list of resources and links at the bottom of this post that may help during the writing process! they are ones that I have saved to look back at when I get stuck!

read it over

this is my least favorite step. at this point, once i’ve finished the fic, i just want to post it as-is. i don’t feel like reading it over or doing edits - i just want to be finished with it. the benefits outweigh my dislike of it though, so i make myself do it anyway. it’s necessary (for me) to take a short break between when i finish it and when i read it over so that i can look at it with fresh eyes, just a day or two at least. the most important advice that i can give here would probably be not to delete anything you don’t like immediately. almost 100% of the time something can be re-written without being deleted, so if you don’t like the way a sentence is structured or the way a character speaks in a certain scene, don’t delete it! just see if you can rewrite it to model what you’re going for better. this step helps me to stay above my goal word count and not to let my insecurity get the best of me. everybody is their own worst critic, but usually there’s a reason you wrote something down, so give it every chance before you get rid of it altogether. i wrote about this here as well.

beta’s

i’m going to link to another post i answered about betas here!

choosing a title

when it’s time to choose a title for a fic i usually pick from one of four places. the first is a catchphrase from the fic. if there’s a recurring theme or nickname or description, it may be a good idea to title it the same thing so that readers will connect the title with that detail and remember it more easily in the future. the second place is from a song. there’s a lyric for nearly every different message and emotion, so there’s a high chance of being able to find one that goes hand-in-hand with a fic. the third place i look is in poems. i’m personally a big fan of lang leav, michael faudet, and bukowski, among others, and poetry usually also features a wide range of themes to choose from. the last idea i resort to when i can’t come up with anything else, which is to take a word that you feel represents the fic and translate it into another language like french or spanish, among others, or pick a word that has a meaning that corresponds with the fic. although there are no right or wrong titles, i would suggest to try not to pick a title that’s been used a lot already, or one that you think might be easily forgettable. even if you think it might be odd or not typical, people are going to remember it much more than if it’d just been a regular title.

choosing a summary

this step is also kind of hit or miss for me! either i know from the beginning what i want my summary to be or i struggle up until the last second trying to come up with one. there isn’t really a right or wrong summary – except for one. my advice here is please, please don’t just put ‘i suck at summaries! just read it!’. people tend to gravitate toward fics if the author seems confident in their own abilities as opposed to someone quite literally pleading with them to read. other than that, there are several types of summaries that i see a lot of. personally i like to use a snippet from my fics in italics, so that people can get a feel of what my writing style is like beforehand. when i write drabbles though, i usually come up with a quick, occasionally witty tidbit of a summary to grab people’s attention. for example:

a longer fic summary

Harry Styles takes his time coming out to greet them. Louis only knows what he’s seen on file and what he’s heard them talking about, but he fully lives up to the image he had inside of his head.

He saunters down the front steps of the farmhouse in his Levi’s, brown snakeskin boots curving out from underneath the denim Louis’ sure he had specially made. He’s got on a plaid button-down tucked into the jeans because of course he does, curls spilling out from either side of his cowboy hat around his sunglasses and country-tan skin.

“Harry Styles,” he drawls, extending a hand to Louis’ manager, “Pleased to meet ya’ll.”

(from my fic baby blue)

a shorter fic summary

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

(from my fic like it’s a game)

and sometimes people use both as well, like this one from @falsegoodnight ‘s fic, before we knew –

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?”

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles. It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it. He hates everything about his supposed soulmate. He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples.

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

and this link has some other ideas and tips for writing summaries that I found to be very helpful!

posting a fic

as far as tags and ratings go, THIS PART IS IMPORTANT! all of the steps are in one way or another, but this one is crucial that it’s done correctly. warnings and tags can absolutely make or break a fic. people tend to have very strong preferences when it comes to fics so i try to be as specific as possible without giving the entire story away in the tags. if you’re afraid of doing that, you can always put the full warnings in the note before the fic and tell people to check there before reading. i won’t list all of the possible triggers here but be sure to look those up if you are unfamiliar with some of the common ones. when it comes to tags, you’re always better safe than sorry! i like to tell people they’re free to message me and ask about something if they’re uncomfortable as well, so i can explain the trigger to them and why i tagged it that way and they can decide if they’d like to read based on a more informed basis. tagging correctly saves many people from being blindsided by something they didn’t want to see, and it also protects the author from some very angry messages about warnings.

archive of our own has an extensive support page with all of the info you could need about posting a work on their site including tags, ratings, warnings, co-authors, translations, HTML, and more. you can find it here.

as far as wattpad goes, i am definitely not as familiar with it. i have only a couple of my fics over there and a few translations that people have done for me, so my knowledge is very limited. this link seems to have some good resources for posting with them.

moodboards, graphics, covers

i feel like the writing does most of the work itself, but a graphic can really help when it comes to the next part of the process, posting on social media. some people like to do moodboards, some people commission artists to draw for them, and some like to create their own graphics completely from scratch. like most aspects of fic, there isn’t really a right or wrong way to do this. i usually make moodboards for mine! i try to stick to an aesthetic or theme, and pick a cohesive amount of pictures to use (typically three, six, or nine so they line up nicely). the pictures i use are almost always from tumblr, pinterest, or weheartit. i put them together using an app and then put a blanket filter over all of it so that it all looks unified. if you used pinterest or weheartit to create concept boards for your idea in the beginning, now is a good time to use those photos and media as well! if you’re curious, the apps i use to create graphics, moodboards, and covers are as follows:

canva (mobile app & website)

tons of templates to choose from as well as patterns and fonts! some things are locked unless you’re a member but most elements are free! easy to download and share and lots of options to customize and play around with. i strongly recommend the website on desktop or laptop as opposed to the mobile app so that the features are more easily accessible.

picsart (mobile app)

when i need to make one quickly and i’m not near my laptop (or just need something simple) i use picsart to make a quick collage and put a filter over them. there are some limited text options as well but they are not as advanced as some of the others mentioned here.

photoshop express (mobile & desktop app)

a step up from picsart, but slightly different elements. photoshop allows you to control a lot more once you know how to use it. there are some nice moodboard layouts here, as well as text and fonts, borders, and color controls. my favorite tool on here is the style transfer option under ‘effects’. a very quick and easy way to make your pictures look very cohesive!

vsco (mobile app)

perfect for adding filters and things like vignette, grain, and fade. it also has some color controls to customize those. this is typically the last step before i post. and you can save custom presets that you like to use again!

and there are many others as well – almost all photo editing apps and software have a function that will allow you to make a collage or add text to a graphic! i know wattpad also requires a cover for their stories and I believe they have an app for that too!

here are some lovely graphics that have been made for my fics by @lovelylou, @behisoneandonly, @tomlinvelvet-ao3 and @brickredtoe as some examples :)

and one that I've made as well:

social media

once i have a moodboard or graphic, i post the link to my fic on twitter and tumblr. in these posts i always make sure to include the title, the word count, and the summary. i try to make it as visually appealing as possibly by organizing the post accordingly and using fonts occasionally to catch people’s eye. this is the app i use for those on mobile!

i think about the sizing as well – twitter has set dimensions for its photos and is known for displaying the photos awkwardly. tumblr on the other hand will let you upload up to ten photos of any size, and will display them fully without any cropping. according to this link a single photo on twitter should be 16:9. this page also has some good tips. and as far as i can tell if you’re using two or four photos, i would stick to the square images as that is what’s worked for me personally. i believe canva also has a template for a twitter post too.

write for yourself

i think everyone knows this on some level but i tend to need to be reminded pretty frequently. if you’re heavily involved in social media and fic discourse, it can be very easy to get attached to what you know people want to see. writing should be a balance though, and you should always write for yourself before anyone else. we’re all free to write whatever we want and, even if it’s difficult, you shouldn’t ever let someone make you feel guilty for doing so. writing is an escape and a safe space but it can very quickly become something that causes stress and anxiety if you aren’t doing it for the right reasons.

don’t stress

easier said than done, I know, but like I mentioned earlier, writing should be fun. a lot of people here don’t do it as their job and no one gets paid to write fics. these are projects that authors take on on their own time even while they work and handle everything else in their lives and those things should come first and foremost, as well as your mental health. this circles back into my earlier point – don’t let people make you feel guilty about anything like not finishing a fic on time or not writing exactly how they wanted it. authors are real people with real lives too and if things get to be too heavy or too stressful, they’re entitled to a break or to leave if that’s what’s best for them.

don’t be afraid to ask for help / validation

there are tons of lovely writers in this community and others that would be more than happy to answer questions and give advice. if you’re struggling with something, there’s always somewhere to go to get help!

however, the concept of validation is a bit trickier than the others. there’s a fine line ;) between asking for validation for a little boost, or relying completely on it. posting snippets and sneak peeks is a great way to get people excited about your work and to get yourself motivated if you’re feeling down, but i would suggest not to post one with the sole purpose of fishing for compliments. if you do, it can be very disheartening if you don’t receive any or the ones that you were looking to hear. in my opinion you need to be at least somewhat confident in your own abilities before you can expect other people to be. posting a snippet is more beneficial for when you’ve got a mental block or are stuck in a scene as opposed to just searching for validation for the sake of getting it.

cliche vs. copying

there’s also two sides to this argument! you shouldn’t be afraid to write what you want, even if it seems like it’s a common trope or cliche topic. everybody writes in different styles and has different ideas and therefore may provide an entirely different view on what’s been poised as a ‘common’ theme. i think i could read a thousand of the ‘there was only one bed’ trope or the college au’s or the other popular plotlines. they’re popular for a reason and you shouldn’t be afraid to explore your own take on it! no one author ‘owns’ a specific trope.

BUT there is a clear difference in doing your own take on something versus just copying what someone else has written exactly. the lines can get blurry here but it’s obvious to readers when something has been repeated word for word from another fic or when one too many elements are the same. to be on the safe side, always check to make sure that the specifics of your idea haven’t been done exactly before.

resources

+ masterpost of some resources

+ how to keep readers engaged

+ helpful tips

+ 100 words for facial expressions

+ how to write good villains

+ good advice

+ synonyms for commonly used words

+ using metaphors and references

+ more helpful tips

+ descriptions

+ synonyms for ‘beautiful’

+ tips for dialogue

+ writing enemies to lovers

+ other helpful tips

+ writing friends to lovers

+ dystopian writing

+ writing a realistic argument

+ ways to cut word count

+ how to write smut 01 * tw for body descriptions etc.

+ how to write smut 02

+ SUPER helpful smut vocab

+ how to write flirting

+ how to write about grief

+ even more helpful tips

#about me #writing advice

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kustovshik · 4 years

Text

Talking.

This post is informative in connection with a dispute that one of the parties decided to make absurd. If you don't want to get involved, just skip it. I don't force anyone to look into it or read it.

Kust is in touch. As many people have noticed, there was a small(not small now) conflict between me and a couple of other people, which could have already been eliminated, but was brought to total clowning. Names/nicknames named in this post will not be in order to avoid any negative towards those people. Also, no correspondence will be shown here, although they will be mentioned. If someone asks , I'm ready to go and personally collect all the screenshots of the two conversations, without losing any moments.

As a person in some way responsible for the current situation, I have a desire to illuminate everything from the side of my vision of things.

The conflict conditionally began three days ago. Let's call the person who initially had a small argument with me a certain person "A".

Well. in March. March 24th. We can assume that almost 5 months ago I published a post: https://kustovshik.tumblr.com/post/613504425335586816/i-want-to-be-in-fiars-stomach-he-looks-like-a

Many people remember it, I hope. I'll attach an old screenshot here just in case.

The whole conflict initially started because of the double meaning of the context behind the work itself. The problem, I was told, was the tags. Namely, in the tag highlighted in the screenshot above: ‘safe vore(or is it?)’.

This tag was originally put up there not because I didn't know what type of vore to call it, but specifically so that people themselves would sit and think: what do they want to see in my drawing. Simply put, a drawing with an open context. And it seems like no one has had any problems with it for few months.

That's what person A didn't like. I was told in a very unpleasant way for me personally that the person was very offended by this use of tags. And other problems with how they don't like 'fatal vore'. It was also suggested to me that I don't know about how fatal can be quite a painful experience for some.

I admit. My answer was quite abrupt. I can't deny it, and I won't, because that's the kind of person I am. My language is harsh on words and expressions. Instead of a thousand words and a selection of expressions, I usually tell people everything openly, or I am ready to openly indicate that something is wrong. Also, I fully admit that I have problems controlling my emotions, which makes it difficult for me to establish contact with strangers. I grew up in a different mindset, which is why I have a different view of many things. It's like putting two people who know the same language, but from different parts of the world, next to each other and forcing them to express their position on some moral principles or other things, and then wonder why their answers are different. A very exaggerated and crude comparison, but that how it looks like.

Why did I respond harshly? I am a rather rude person, and I do not like when people come to me in private messages, starting to talk about how bad they are feeling, because of things that can be safely ignored or blocked by them, so that there are no problems.

My first fatal mistake was when I decided to answer to "A". Afterwards, I talked to a couple of my friends and got cold feet. And then I apologized, trying to come to some compromise, adding the tag 'open ending' so that no one would be confused. But it seems that this was not enough, because “A” continued to say how it’s bad from what she found, even if not quite fatal stuff. Refusing to compromise in any way, as I suggested.

After that, we parted with apologies to each other, and neither of us wrote to each other again. I honestly thought it was over.

Now, before I go on to the man who has been driving me mad for the past two days, I will make a pure assumption and try to explain my indignation in a different way...

Out of human interest, I went through the 'safe vore' tag. Noted an interesting feature. Both tags had quite a lot of posts there. Namely, tags are 'safe vore' AND 'fatal vore'. Why did my post cause the problem? Have no idea.

Then another point became incomprehensible to me. How did a person get to this post at all? It would be difficult to find it through search, but you can: there is a lot of content by tag. I flipped the feed down from the second account for a long time and didn't come across my own post.

Then, in my little investigation, I looked into Tumblr's alerts. Likes, reblogs, well, you understand in short. And noticed it.

This is the first appearance of "A" in my notifications.

Hence, I dare to assume that "A" came across one of the reblogs of this post: https://kustovshik.tumblr.com/post/616227708116025344/a-new-player-has-joined-the-game And then "A" went to my blog, along the way ignoring the description specially written for such people at the very top of the blog, and came across my two-meaning post.

But after that, I had a rhetorical question: Why go to the blog of a person who has this written in the description, and hope that there will not be a fatal vore?

Of course, this theory is based only on my assumptions. But I think this scenario is quite real.

Thus, we can say that I have every right to be angry at the indignation expressed in my direction, because it is not my fault that the person ignored my preferences, scrolled down my blog page and started complaining.

Back to reality.

As you can understand, " A " shared our conversation with their friend, who the next day suddenly came to me with a long message about his position, offering help that was not needed.

Even then, I began to suspect that this person(let's call him "B") was somehow connected with "A". Moreover, the reason for the visit was the same for both of them.

I have already mentioned that I am an irritable and rather rude person. I was already stressed enough by the appearance of "A" and the consequences of my reflections that occurred after what I thought was an end to the conflict. And the repeated mention of the situation has already infuriated me.

I fully admit that I reacted very sharply to the "B" message. I had reasons for this that the other side chose not to consider.

Well. After receiving the message I gave sharp response expressing extreme dissatisfaction, but without insults to "B". Was there passive-aggressive speech? Yes. Were words said that I am not obliged to monitor the health of people who do not concern me? Yes. Do I have the right to think so? Yes. Does this fall under the moral code? It depends on the person's personal worldview.

Yes, I was rude due to the fact that on the second day I was exhausted and angry about this situation. I wanted to end this conflict and repeatedly asked both of them to block me and remain neutral. In addition, I tried to somehow explain that we are people of different mentalities and grew up with different life standards, so in this situation we see this conflict differently. Yes, in a rough way, but I tried to explain it.

I received a ton of direct insults, was accused of narcissism and high self-esteem, as well as refusing to take care of other people's problems. In addition, I received lines like, quote: "...but let me see you talk like you did to me or anyone else simply trying to converse with you over a serious topic and I will not hesitate to have your content and eventually your account removed from this site.".

Isn't this a direct threat?

I understand that passive-aggressive speech itself can offend someone. But you can't call it an insult. Passive-aggression is a hidden way of expressing negative feelings and emotions to a person. This is not an insult. But, Yes, I admit that this is a very harsh and rude way of communicating.

That's just after such an exchange of pleasantries, I snapped. 3 days of unquenchable conflict, when one side refused to listen to the other, at the same time. There were attempts on my part to end the conflict. There was one repeated request to block and disperse, so as not to inflame everything to the point of absurdity.

"Want to stay safe with your own preferences? "Please, God, don't touch me, that's all. Block me already and we will live in peace. "- This was the message of my answers. It's sad, but instead of just ending the conflict, I got the brand of a person with a capitalist mindset, the brand of a bitch-whiner, and other other charms.

And I swear that I was ready to just leave all this and stop responding to such outbursts in my direction, banal blocking "B", if they can’t themselves do it.

As here I get a notification with a post where this person changed my art / tags and basically uploaded the changed image to his blog, hiding behind good intentions. "B" did not receive permission for such actions. Even with an indication of authorship. I am most outraged by such actions at the moment.

Better look on the two images compared to each other.

And after that, everyone wants me to try to understand how bad I was and how poor they are, that from a simple argument that could have ended without even starting, it turned into an absurd clowning with offended people, insults and changing someone else's drawings and whole character reaction. Just a note. Fiar is not so nice, he’s a wild monster leech and he just grumbles about everything as much as he don’t understands why some people willing to let him eat them. He’ll never say something as “I’ll keep you safe”.

There it is. The comedy of a three days.

This post is for informational purposes only. Namely, how I see this situation.

All I want now is for "B" to delete the post, and for both sides to banal block each other, so that we never meet again.

I refuse to apologize to "B" for their latest act of outraging my drawing by completely distorting the meaning from a neutral drawing to something that only "B" and their friend like. In conclusion I can say, that I do not call myself a good one in that confrontation. I did some terrible mistakes while talking to both of those people. But it’s not only I’m here being on the bad side. People are not black and white.

After this I’ll not respond to any of the continuation of that conflict anymore. I’m tired of this.

#long post #Kust talking #trigger warning

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overdrivels · 4 years

Text

Even more unsolicited resume advice

Corona has probably hit a lot of people hard and it has been a tough time for everyone, especially people who just left college to enter the work force or have been out of a job and had been looking to get back into the force. While this might not solve much, I want to provide some additional advice piggy-backing off a previous post.

Again, Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV) since this is entirely subjective and very US-centric. A lot of the resumes that come across my desk are for specialized jobs and higher-levels, so I’ve had a bit of a disconnect with entry-level and recent grad-level resumes. Regardless, I still want to help answer some questions that people have and hopefully give a bit of a push to help you into the jobs you want.

There’s more of this sort of stuff under the tag: ‘adult drivels’.

"What do I write for my Objectives/Summary of Qualifications?"

To be very honest, I only ever see Objectives from people trying to switch careers or from internship/entry-level resumes. At least 98% of the time, we know what your objective is. It's money. I don't care if the objective is to help save the world--believe me, I've seen enough resumes that say something along those lines (worked at a place that kind of championed that and boy is the reality nasty).

Anyway. Write a short paragraph (usually 2-3 sentences, but no longer than a full paragraph) about your skillset. Give me enough detail to want to read the rest of your resume.

Examples:

Finance student with 2 years volunteer experience in business accounting, correspondences with the Federal Reserve, and federal financial law. Specializes in XYZ, etc.

I couldn't make this any more detailed, but you get the gist of it. If not, here's another one.

Recent college graduate with experience in freelance computer repairs for Windows, Mac, and RedHat Linux. Customer-oriented from # years in customer service, and willing to learn new things especially more about network infrastructure and engineering. Currently studying to pass Network and looking to pass Security+ within the next year.

This is just a personal nitpick, but be careful with very subjective character traits like ‘loyal’ or ‘hard-working’ or ‘effective leader’. Anyone can put that on a resume, but I need you to prove it in your resume. Some industries like this sort of self-description/self-evaluation, but I really don’t trust when people write that stuff down.

(Ex. Someone wrote they were detail-orientated and their resume was littered with typos. Mm, don’t trust like that.)

"I don't know what to write for my job experience. I don't have sales numbers or percentages like these websites are telling me."

You do. You have them, just not consciously.

You worked at Starbucks and trained newcomers? Fine.

"Trained ## new hires on all store procedures, safety, and customer service, and one was promoted to store manager with # months/one new hire won Employee of the Month/and I received formal recognition from corporate."

"Created new training plan/procedures/whatever and implemented it over the course of # months, reducing the time needed for training and increasing effectiveness."

Didn't work at Starbucks? Just joined a club and helped organize a bake sale? Cool.

"Sold $# worth of merchandise for [school club] [sale] which contributed to #% increase in funding for the year's activities, allowing the club to do XYZ.

Don't have the percentage? Do a reasonable guess, or ask. Or just say it helped you guys earn your field trip to wherever. Whatever it helped do.

Didn’t do anything involving cash or numbers? No problem.

“Tutored # students at least # times a week in [subject], working with them using different teaching methods such as [example] and [example]; # students were able to pass their courses with satisfactory grades (insert grades somewhere, if you’re proud of that).”

The point is: [Action] --> [Result].

What did you do, specifically? And what was the direct result? That’s what I’m looking for.

“But I’ve never held a job. This’ll be my first one. How do I write my resume?”

That’s always tough. In this case, you’ll have to play on anything you do have. Volunteer work, school activities, extracurricular activities, personal projects, awards, personal achievements, etc. Sometimes people go for a skills-oriented resume which I don’t actually see a lot.

Basically, standard resumes have your regular stuff:

Personal Information

Summary of Qualifications/Objectives

Education

Job Experiences in chronological order

Extracurricular Activities

Skills

Awards/Certifications

Whatever else

A skills based resume usually replaces the ‘Jobs’ section with a huge-ass ‘Skills Set’ section which contains several main skills you want to highlight for the job and examples of how you demonstrated these skills.

Communication

- Corresponded and tutored students struggling in [subject] class, restructuring and explaining lessons using easy-to-understand anecdotes, resulting in students passing the class with scores of no less than a B. (This is lengthy as fuck, but you get the idea.)

- Successfully led one 24-person raid a month for 2 years in an online game where quick and clear communication and timing was vital.

So, that but multiple times until it fills out your resume.

This goes against my personal opinion about subjective traits, but if it works, it works.

“Anything else?”

I turn my entire Word document into a table for formatting and then just hide all borders when I’m done.

Always, always export to PDF and do a test print. You never know how it’ll look on someone else’s screen or program. (Especially if you have LibreOffice or something, that really messed up the formatting sometimes.)

I kind of like Google’s resumes, the one they have in Google doc templates.

To make different things stand out, I mess with fonts. Like sans serif for section titles and with serif for body text. Sometimes I just start going nuts with them, but not too nuts because again, it might not be a font on someone else’s computer.

To test the visual appeal of my resume, I’d usually print it out, paste it on a wall, walk away, turn around, and try to see if I can spot my name and the different section breaks instantly from a distance. If I can’t, I know I fucked up. If I can, great, formatting is clean. One thing I hate as an interviewer is searching through walls of text for important info or section breaks.

If you can, only submit as PDF. I swear, half the time, the Word doc gets mangled by the application platform that people send them through (you know, the automatic uploading thing?) It had definitely cost a few good candidates a job simply because the program mangled the resume’s formatting.

Following these steps still won’t necessarily get you the job. This is cruel, but reality. It could be your resume. It could be just because the role is meant for someone else with a different skillset. It’s not personal. You have to keep trying.

For the last time, TAILOR, TAILOR, TAILOR. You’re fighting with about 30 other people who have put in a hell of a lot of effort to get jobs. They also want the job and have been searching just as long or longer than you. You have to give yourself an edge by not blasting a generic version of your resume at the recruiter. That’s wasting our time and your own time.

Again, all of these opinions are my own and should be taken with a handful of salt and two handfuls of personal judgement.

Good luck on your searches and may the job you want be yours.

#adult drivels

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comicgeese39 · 3 years

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Writing A Will During Lockdown.

Writing A Will

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What Occurs If The Recipient Of The Estate Passes Away Prior To The Testator?

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Frequently Asked Questions: Wills And Inheritance

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You can name as numerous executors as you like in your will, though the optimum number who can look for probate to provide your estate is four. It makes good sense to call at the very least two or 3, in case any one of them pre-decease you or later on choose they do not want to work as an administrator. Typically, your will must be clear on what will happen to a bequest if the beneficiary pre-deceases you. As an example, whether it expires, mosts likely to their children, or goes to another person rather. When you leave a bequest to a class of people, such as 'my grandchildren living at my death', make it clear whether that includes expected children, so maternities are covered. Telling a close friend, loved one or perhaps your solicitor what your objectives are is not nearly enough.

It is more secure, preferably, for you to review your will regularly, as well as absolutely whenever appropriate tax obligation or probate regulations change. Your executor or administrator will be accountable for the repayment of any tax obligation due on your death. This can consist of any kind of outstanding income tax, resources gains tax obligation as well as inheritance tax. You will also need to obtain an evaluation of the home for the purposes of probate.

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funknrolll · 4 years

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Celebrating Prince: discovering a timeless artist and his meaningful and impactful art. Part 3. The legal battle against Warner Bros, The Gold Experience and Emancipation eras.

Hi music lovers, as I anticipated on monday, music addiction is going to celebrate Prince and his amazing and timeless work!! The article will be split into a few little articles. I hope you enjoy this new format and these articles!!

For some reasons I had to repost this article therefore the 4th part will be uploaded tomorrow✨ stay tuned for more✨

As I said yesterday, let me say that I have heard so many things about Prince’s artistry. Some comments came from uneducated people who did not even take a second of their lives to understand, and do research on his art. Hence, I think the time to shed some light on Prince’s art, has come (finally). I hope to help some of those people understand this artist better and to finally appreciate him the way he deserves. We owe Prince big time. Today’s music and musicians owe Prince everything. Without him, many of the artists we listen to today, WOULD NOT BE EXISTING. As we all know, Prince loved to experiment with music, trying out new music genres, new styles, new harmonies, melodies, rhythms and so on. This is one of the factors that led this legend to create a unique, wide and broad vault. There are so many songs of his that I love so much and that I find relevant for this article. The ones I chose, are going to prove that Prince and his music did not just revolve around sex and sexuality, (even if the artist through his music took the topic to another whole level). Through the article, we will see that Prince was more than all that I mentioned above. He was an extraordinary human being, blessed with so many enormous talents, with a beautiful mind, a uniquely pure soul. A true gift of God. With this in mind, let us start this article.

This is the sequel of the 2 articles I posted yesterday, so in case you guys missed them, check the previous 2 out.

Before I continue with this article, it is important to mention the Prince’s fight against Warner Bros. I know this was a matter so close to his heart and he cared about that. Hence, I think there is the impellent need to explain the situation to spread awareness and to remind the huge efforts Prince made beside his beautiful music. Back in the 90s, the artist’s music was owned by the aforementioned record company, although Prince was the person who composed, wrote, and performed HIS music. The artist was extremely aware of the importance of owning his masters and therefore his music wanted to buy back the rights to his music from Warner Bros, but the company denied that. Therefore, the artist would have had to re-record his music, the same music HE composed, HE wrote and performed. Indeed, as Prince stated in a 1999, Paper interview, “I wanted to buy my masters back from Warner Bros. They said no way. So I'm going to re-record them. All of them. Now you will have two catalogs with pretty much exactly the same music—except mine will be better—and you can either give your money to WB, the big company, or to NPG. You choose.". During this long legal battle, the artist decided to leave Warner Bros and created his own record label The NPG Records. Besides all of that, Prince, during the legal fight with Warner Bros, changed his name into an unpronounceable symbol and started to write the word slave on his face to symbolize the condition of slavery under which many artists had to stay. This battle lasted for about 4 decades. With this Prince was fighting for his artistic freedom, ownership of his work, and his rights. In addition to that, Not only was this huge artist fighting for himself, but also for all the other artists exploited by record companies. The artist formerly known as Prince was not to be silenced. Indeed, many of the works he crafted during the 90s, were an act of protest against record companies. It is extremely important to remind people how this artist gave his contribution and paved the path for other artists to be free and be more aware of this ENORMOUSLY important issue. I briefly summarized and addressed this HUGELY RELEVANT issue, but there would be more to say, and I will write an article about that. I will never stress enough the importance of Prince’s battle against record companies and his music being robbed from him. He has made a big impact and we all should be thankful and grateful to him for being bold enough to speak up about the topic and address this issue.

Moving back to his music, in 1993 Prince ended the partnership with Warner Bros and started his own record label the NPG Records. Needless to say, as soon as the artist started his label, he began working on his new project, The Gold Experience, that eventually was released in 1995. This timeless gem is the product of Prince’s deep and broad artistic evolution. On this masterpiece, there are 3 songs that I find extremely relevant which are: We March, The Most Beautiful Girl in the world, Billy Jack Bitch, and Gold. Through its forthright and explicit lyrics, We March is a powerful protest song where the artist speaks up against racism, misogyny, and prejudice.

If this is the same avenue my ancestors fought 2 liberate

How come I can't buy a piece of it even if my credit's straight?

If all the water's dirty and I wanna lay the pipe, my dammy

The river that I drink from, will it be the same as your mammy

In these lines, the artist is raising his voice against the prejudice of moneylenders.

If this is the same sister that U cannot stop calling a bitch (Bitch)

If U can't find a better reason 2 call this woman otherwise

Then don't cry, U made the bed in which U lie

These lines are a protest against misogyny, particularly slurs such as the term bitch which is seldom referred to women.

Now's the time (now's the time) 2 find a rhyme (Yeah)

That's got a reason (Yeah) and frees the mind (free your mind)

From angry thoughts, the racist kind (Yeah)

If we all wanna a change then come on get in line (Get in line!)

Next time we march (Whoa)

We're kickin' down the door

Next time we march (Hey yeah) (Whoa)

All is what were marchin' 4

With this bit of the lyrics, Not only is the artist revolting against racism, but it is a warm encouragement to react and change the situation. This song is a total anthem against racism, prejudice, and misogyny, to the point that in 1995 it became the hymn of the Million Men March. Moreover, I think it is urgent to focus on the arrangement of this song. The arrangement is strictly connected to the lyrics to make the song even more vivid. I picked the music sheet for the piano. I am not going to annoy you with some obnoxious details, and I will try to be brief. I hope to be as clear as possible. The arrangement is presenting a key signature at the beginning of every staff which means the song is arranged in G major. The key signature designates notes that have to be played higher or lower than the corresponding natural notes, and it is applied through to the end of the piece or up to the next key signature. In this case, after the clef, we can find a sharp sign which means that some notes are raised one semitone above the natural notes. Some other notes have the natural sign near them which means that the sharp key signature is canceled for them, hence these notes are natural. With this said, the question should be, why would Prince arrange the song like this? In my opinion, the artist might have used a key signature to raise some notes and the natural sign to cancel the accidental, for a specific reason. Musically speaking, Prince was an educated genius, hence I am sure he knew exactly what he was doing and why. The artist wanted to create an imbalance between the notes to create the effect of a real and difficult march, almost like climbing a mountain. Perhaps this arrangement might symbolize a difficult march that eventually will lead to the achievement of freedom, respect, equality, acceptance. Therefore, I would say that the connection between the extremely complex arrangement and the lyrics was magistrally crafted. This song is just one of the many examples of how brilliant Prince was.

Furthermore, another song that I love is Billy Jack Bitch. This is another protest song, but the topic is totally different from the previous one. Through these hilarious and sarcastic lyrics, Prince is revolting against a gossip columnist named Cheryl Johnson who was caught being utterly rude. As a matter of fact, the song is so crystal clear that there is no need for further explanations. However, one thing that I noticed in the lyrics Prince managed to mention the initials of the woman.

Joy - it's in the dictionary

See "J" Billy Jack Bitch

The artist could not write the actual initials of the woman, because otherwise he would have been sued. Nonetheless, Prince was so smart that through a phonemic effect (see J) he managed to say the initials of the woman and thus give subtle hints about the woman’s identity. Moreover, what impressed me about the song is the drumline which is in my opinion phenomenal. The striking background vocals also caught my attention because, after some research, I found out that the voice we hear belongs to the rockstar and Prince’s fellow artist Lenny Kravitz’s. Two geniuses in one song are there anything more iconic?

Last but not least, my favorite song on the album is Gold. I love this masterpiece with every cell of my body. The meaning and the message this song is delivering are so POWERFUL!! The deep meaning behind these uplifting lyrics is to be ourselves, be unique, and never follow the mass because “All that glitters ain’t gold”. We should never follow the crowd. Not everything the crowd does is gold, even if it looks like it. We should be ourselves and make a difference. We should take difficult roads and climb the highest mountains to see the top. There would be another method of interpretation. The majestic music video and the scribble slave across Prince’s face might be inferring another significance. Thus, I would assume that this song might be another protest but this time against Warner Bros since Prince was in the legal battle against record label. Indeed, the meaning of the song may apply well to that situation. As a matter of fact, Prince might be inferring that even if contracts with a record company look like gold, in reality, they just glitter that tie the artists to a condition of slavery. Anyways, the arrangement also deserves attention. Indeed, the chorus of the song goes “All that glitters ain’t gold” and in my opinion, the arrangement of the keyboard is extremely peculiar and well related to this bit of the lyrics. First, it is important to say that the keyboard is dominating and I also think it is important to pay attention to its arrangement. As I could see from the music sheet, the arrangement is characterized by high notes which are raised by the key signature after the clef. Indeed, this song is arranged in D major which means that the arrangement contains 2 sharps and the arrangement is written like this :

This also means that all the already high notes on the staff are raised one tone. Now you might be asking: what is the point she is trying to make? what does this have to do with Prince? I am aware that the logic behind this might seem odd, but I will get to the point of this. As I said, this song’s composition is characterized by a range of middle-high notes. As Prince was musically educated, I am quite sure that the composition of this masterpiece and its arrangement, have a deep connection with the lyrics. Indeed, I would assume that Prince might have opted for this arrangement to enhance the meaning of this beautiful masterpiece. The chorus of this song goes “all that glitters ain’t gold” and in the music video we can see Prince being “showered” with a rain of golden glitters, therefore this recurring topic might be what connects the lyrics to the arrangement of the song. As a matter of fact, when we think about glitters, especially a rain of glitter we might associate this with a particular sound which most likely might be characterized by some high tinkling sound. This is exactly the effect Prince aimed to create with this magistral arrangement. Those middle-high notes I mentioned have the peculiarity of creating this beautiful effect that is the sound of glitter tinkling, which is even more enhanced by the music video.

The release of Emancipation marked Prince’s definitive end of the partnership with the record label Warner Bros. It was the artist’s 19th studio album and probably one of my favorites. From the self-explanatory title, it is quite evident that Prince was still fighting against WB for his rights. However, not only is this work featuring protest songs but also some covers and some love songs where the artist expresses his affection for his former wife Mayte Garcia. Through some well thought and precise details, Prince’s personal touch is quite evident in this project. Indeed, this is a triple album and each album is consisting of 12 songs. Each album lasts exactly 60 minutes. Hence, the accuracy and the precision behind this masterpiece are quite impressive. In fact, the artist had an explanation for this, as he explained in several interviews, this was based on his studies of ancient Egypt and Egyptians: “The building of the pyramids and how the pyramids were related to the constellations. They were a message from the Egyptians about how civilization really started."

Among the most significant songs on this masterpiece we can find: The Holy River, Slave, The Love We Make, and the homonymous Emancipation.

The first song mentioned is The Holy River. Through these exceedingly deep lyrics, we can infer that the artist went through a major spiritual shift. More precisely, the Holy River might be a metaphor that might be symbolizing the baptism. Indeed, if my guessing is correct, this metaphor will be perfect with the general meaning of the song as being baptized also means the beginning of a new life, which is what Prince experienced with this major spiritual shift.

Let's go down 2 the holy river

If we drown then we'll be delivered

U can still see the picture upon the wall

One eye staring at nothing at all

The other one trying 2 focus through all your tears

U can try and try but there's nothin' 2 hide

U can't run from yourself and what's inside

U got 2 find the answers 2 the questions that U most fear

So over and over U ask your soul

Why'd U come down 2 a world so cold?

And the voice inside says 2night the truth will be told

Also, the chorus of the song is quite eloquent as Prince is providing a detailed explaining of how he went through a dark moment in his life where he was struggling to find answers, where he was afraid to look inside of himself and to find the truth and the answers.

U surrounded yourself with all the wrong faces

Spending your time in all the wrong places

Puttin' your faith in things that only make U cry

People say they love U when they wanna help

But how can they when U can't help yourself?

The more they say they love U, the more U just wanna die

So here we go again, the self-analysis

Have another glass of Port and uh... forget this

The band's playin' at the club 2night and they're bound 2 groove

Also, these lines are quite eloquent, and I think there is no need for some further explanation. These are practically a description of the troubles he went through and how lonely and hopeless he felt during that time of his life and how he managed to survive.

There U are, U think U're high

U can't ask yourself cuz U'd only lie

If U had a dollar 4 every time U tried

U can't call nobody cuz they'll tell U straight up

Come and make love when U really hate 'em

Relationships based on the physical are over and done

They're over and done (They're over and done)

U'd rather have fun

With only one, with only one

Only one... one (one)

Again, in these lines, the artist is describing what he went through. In the last 5 lines, we can notice that a major spiritual shift was occurring and thus the positive change the artist went through Indeed, in the next lines, the artist describes how he started to change after he realized that God was by his side.

And then it hit 'cha like a fist on a wall

Who gave U life when there was none at all?

Who gave the sun permission 2 rise up every day? (Ooh, oh yes)

Let me tell it (Go'n)

If U ask God 2 love U longer

Every breath U take will make U stronger

Keepin' U happy (happy) and proud 2 call His name (Go'n and say it)

Jesus (Jesus)

And over and over U ask your soul

Why'd U come down 2 a world so cold?

And the voice inside said 2night the truth will be told

And this time I was listening, hear me

As a matter of fact, as I mentioned, these lines explain, perfectly a time of transition when the artist was evolving and changing. In the next lines, the artist describes the moments after the spiritual shift took place.

Let's go down 2 the holy river

If we drown then we'll be delivered (Yes we will)

If we don't then we'll never see the light (No)

If U die before U try

U'll have 2 come back and face the light (Oh yes)

When U believe it, U got a good reason 2 cry (Oh my, my)

So I went on down 2 the holy river

I called my girl and told her I had something 2 give her

I asked her 2 marry me and she said yes, I cried

Oh, that night I drowned in her tears and mine

And.. and instead of a glass of sorrow and wine

Looking back y'all, I don't miss nothing except the time

And when I see that picture up on the wall

The one eye staring at nothing at all

My eyes trying 2 focus but these are much different tears

Oh, yes they are

Like the end of a beautiful story, these last lines, are the conclusion of this masterpiece that closes with a “happy ever after”. Indeed, in these last lines, the artist compares the act of going down to the holy river to facing the light which means a new beginning, a new life. In these last 9 lines, the artist describes the exact moment when he proposed to his girlfriend to marry him. He then reconnects to the beginning of the song where he cried tears of sorrow while at the end of this story he said to be crying “much different tears” which perhaps might be tears of happiness. Moreover, musically speaking, the arrangement of this song is quite homogenous except for the very last bars. After the artist finishes performing the lyrics, he reprises the main harmonies and performs them with a guitar and piano solo, then adding a choir that performs the background vocals with some light head voices that recall the angels singing. These last bars are played in such a manner that reflects the feeling of the artist: joy, love, relief, ultimate happiness. All the emotions a person who has experienced a major spiritual shift will feel. Furthermore, I have also noticed a shift in the instrumental. At the beginning of this masterpiece, the instrumental is “softer” and the sound of the instruments is kept lower. This happens for the first part of the song where Prince describes what he experienced when he was going through a difficult time. Then, after the artist sings these lines: “ Relationships based on the physical are over and done

They're over and done (They're over and done)

U'd rather have fun

With only one, with only one

Only one... one (one) “

it is extremely evident that the instrumental changes. Indeed, Prince turns up the volume of the instruments which are in my opinion, also joyously played, like he is telling his listener “listen to me, this is my story, I Am happy, and you should be too”.

Another song that I totally love is Slave. This is, in my opinion, such an ingenious masterpiece and we can hear how Prince took inspiration from the whole work songs genre. With the forthright message of the song, Prince was still raising awareness about how record companies exploited artists, hence he wrote this powerful masterpiece, a protest song, to release all his rage and frustration.

Everybody keeps trying to break my heart

Everybody except for me

I just want a chance to play the part

The part of someone truly free

From its chorus, this song is extremely eloquent. Prince is basically protesting against his enemies who most likely would be record companies and perhaps, as he mentioned in the 4th line

“My enemies kept it turning, but now they pound the gavel

And judging me accordingly, I know, I know”

those who judge him for commencing a legal fight against record companies. However, I am quite sure that this masterpiece is a protest song crafted to vent and raise awareness about the condition artists had to stay under for an extremely long time which was treated as slaves. In support of my theory, I would report these lyrics:

Slowly candle burns, where'd they learn hypnosis?

How'd they keep me under for so long?

Break the bread I earn, just keep me far from closest

I need their kind to illustrate what's wrong - what's wrong?

Well, I'll tell you they just keep trying to break my heart

They just keep trying to break my heart, ow!

From the second line, it is quite clear that those who kept the artist under and broke the bread he earned might have been the record companies, particularly Warner Bros, that contractually forced Prince to produce his music and kept a big part of his earnings OF THE MUSIC HE PRODUCED, HIS OWN MUSIC. Another interpretation of this line might be that Warner Bros owned the rights of PRINCE’S MUSIC. Therefore, the artist did not have the rights of his own music which should have been HIS OWN. Moreover, as Prince explained in several interviews when he asked the record company for the rights of HIS MUSIC back, they just said no. This might explain well this line as the record label by not giving him his rights back kept Prince far from emancipating, and hence the artist just left Warner Bros and started his own record company. Moreover, what left me speechless and mesmerized, in total awe about this MASTERPIECE, is the instrumental and the music genre Prince chose to craft this MONUMENTAL PIECE OF ART. Why did Prince choose to give this masterpiece the title of Slave and what music genre could suit well a song with this eloquent title? Obviously, a work song with some soul influences. Indeed, what amazed me is that this masterpiece is crafted as a real work song. To understand this masterpiece better, I need to step back to the work song genre and explain some of their distinctive and relevant peculiarities. Work song is a music genre that was spread around the world (indeed there is more than just one type of work song, they were used all around the world), but focusing on Afro-American work songs, this music genre developed in America during slavery times between the xvii-xix century. This genre had several functions for instance: to coordinate the labor of a group of people working together, which improved the efficiency of the work, and to relieve the boredom of a tedious job, which improves the lives of the workers. Also, work songs were seldom used as an act of protest against the condition of slavery, injustice, and poverty. These songs were frequently sung by a leader followed by a choir. Additionally, to keep the rhythm of those chants, workers generally used their working tools or the stomping of their feet or they even clapped their hands. With this said as I would say that Slave by Prince is part of this music genre. Moreover, as we can hear, the beats of this masterpiece resemble the use of the tools used by slaves to create the rhythmic path to their chants. Another peculiarity that was taken after the music genre just mentioned, is the choir to which Prince was the lead singer. Indeed, the artist performs the main lines while the chorus is performed by the choir. This technique is called call and response which was quite typical in Afro-American work songs. Additionally, the emphatic and emotional and heartfelt performance the artist offered, makes it easy to sympathize with his pain, his rage, and his exhaustion.

Furthermore, one of my favorite songs on this album is The Love We Make. Such a breathtaking masterpiece. In my opinion, the meaning of this masterpiece is quite hermetic. Indeed, just by reading the lyrics, it might not be clear what Prince meant with those words. However, It is widely believed that this song might have been produced to remember Jonathan Melvoin, Susannah, and Wendy’s brother, who died from heroin overdose. Melvoin was a musical child prodigy who worked with Prince on several projects and he also collaborated with some punk bands. It is believed that this song is dedicated to him for several reasons: the first one is the year he passed away which was 1996, secondly, and most importantly because the artist described the song as “written to speak to the spirit of a friend lost to drugs”. Moreover, in the liner notes to the Emancipation 1996 LP, the song is described as “written for a lost friend”. Hence, for all these reasons, this song is believed to be about Jonathan Melvoin. This is perhaps one of the most powerful and inspiring songs in Prince’s vault, truly breathtaking. With the reassuring yet preaching lyrics the artist was delivering an enlightening message: no matter how difficult life might be, there is still hope and we should all be grateful for the miracle and the gift God gave us.

Happy is the way 2 meet your burdens

No matter how heavy or dark the day

Pity on those with no hope 4 2morrow

It’s never as bad as it seems until we say

As I mentioned, specifically in these lines Prince is encouraging the listener to be happy and full of hope no matter what, condemning those who do not have hope in the future as things are never as bad as they seem.

Precious is the baby with a mother

That tells him that his savior is coming soon

All that believe will cleanse and purify themselves

Put down the needle, put down the spoon

Even though these lines are quite hermetic and enigmatic I will attempt to give a proper explanation. The artist is mentioning a baby and his mother, and the mother telling the baby that his savior is coming soon. Hence, as Prince was extremely spiritual and had a great, broad, and keen knowledge of the Bible and the Gospel, I would assume that these two lines are related to the Scriptures. The logic behind this might seem odd, but I will attempt to get to the point with a proper explanation. As Prince was fascinated by the ancient Egyptian world, as it is evident from the set up of the songs on the album, I would assume that these lines are connected to two biblical figures. Honestly, at first, before doing my research, I was going to assume that Prince was alluding to Jesus Christ and the Holy Mary. However, the biblical figures he was hinting to, were instead Moses and his mother Jochebed. For those who are not familiar with the Scripture, Jochebed to avoid the mass slaughter of Hebrew boys, and therefore, her son to be brutally killed, she set her baby adrift in the Nile River, hoping someone would find him and raise him. God so worked that her baby was found by Pharaoh's daughter. Jochebed even became her own son's nurse. Then, God used Moses mightily, to free the Hebrew people from their 400 years of slavery and took them to the Promised Land. Although little is written about Jochebed in the Bible, her story speaks powerfully to mothers of today. Hence, the connection between those two lines of the song and the biblical figures is quite clear. Moreover, as the title of the album is Emancipation and one of the topics of this masterpiece is the artist’s rebellion against Warner Bros, which forced him to work in a condition of slavery, Moses's story who freed Hebrews from slavery and took them to the Promised Land, might apply quite well to Prince’s story who fought to free himself from Warner Bros and start his own record company. Moreover, with the following two lines Prince is suggesting that by believing in God we are purifying and cleansing themselves. As regards to the last line, as I mentioned, is what created the widespread belief that this masterpiece might have been dedicated and inspired by Jonathan Melvoin. In addition to that, on the album, there are not reported the full lyrics of the song, but just one line of it which is precisely “Put down the needle, put down the spoon” and on the bottom line we can find “Written 4 a lost friend.” which hints even more to Jonathan Melvoin. Again, referring to the line I just mentioned, Prince is using another tone to sing these words. Indeed, if we listen to the song attentively, we would hear how the artist was preaching against drug addiction. Furthermore, the next lines, are extremely well related to the previous one.

Sacred is the prayer that asks 4 nothing, oh

While seeking 2 give thanks 4 every breath we take, oh

Blessed are we inside this prayer

4 in the new world, we will be there

With these lines, Prince is encouraging the listener to be grateful for the gift of life, giving thanks for every breath we take, praying God without asking him for anything but rather praying him with gratitude for the gift of life. In the last two lines, Prince is basically telling the listener that those who pray God, believe in Him, and have faith in Him, will be blessed with a “new world” which is the Kingdom of Heaven. The last lines of the song are the chorus.

The only love there is, is the love we make {x2}

(the only love there is, is the love we make)

Only love there is, only love there is

The only love there is, is the love we make (yeah)

The only love there is, is the love we make

These lines repeated four times like a beautiful monumental hymn, are used to teach a vital lesson: the only thing that matters is the love we give out, the love we spread while we are alive. That is to say, this is the ultimate purpose of life: to give love and being grateful for the gift of life. Furthermore, as regards the arrangement of this masterpiece, it was crafted in such a way that it allowed the artist to use a preaching tone during the interpretation. This peculiarity in the performance of the song is even more enhanced at the end of the masterpiece. Indeed, when the artist performs the lines that begin with “Sacred is the prayer that asks 4 nothing”, he changed the vocal register from a light chest voice to a powerful head voice which also gives more power to the words he was singing turning them into a real preach. The shift of vocal register in this particular bit of the song is also extremely effective as the artist is singing out loud such an important lesson that MUST be heard by everyone. Perhaps Prince has put so much emphasis on these magistrally written lines because this is the fulcrum of the song that everyone must listen to carefully. Additionally, if we listen to Prince’s voice attentively, we will hear some slight shifts in the intention put in the performance. As regards to the instrumental, the Artist opted for a slow ballad in 4/4. Although the choice of a slow ballad, the song is reinforced by guitar, drums, and piano. Additionally, while I was listening to this masterpiece, I realized that the instrumental is characterized by a progressive raising of the tonality of the song. This way, the instrumental was raised by 2 octaves. This characteristic, besides making this masterpiece even more effective and turning it into a beautiful and inspiring preach, gives the listener the idea of a beautiful climb that gets straight to heaven. Personally, whenever I listen to this masterpiece, I feel like I’m watching a beautiful sunset or hiking in the mountains. Moreover, the arrangement is mostly characterized by music accidentals, which in my opinion are an extremely important part of the composition of the song since without them the song would not be perceived as a powerful preach.

If you guys would like to purchase your copy of the albums I wrote about in this article (which I recommend, PLEASE DO NOT BOOTLEG PRINCE’S MUSIC), I’ll post the links below here

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4RYC5D/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2a37eabce98ae7fd530fddeff2287ed5&creativeASIN=B07G4RYC5D

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRFM9YJ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=a1e0d017e5a3de4e6b01f3fc5a5f4f3c&creativeASIN=B07VRFM9YJ

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4LHQHQ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=1da616a288e24d1a38bd64113cbb08a0&creativeASIN=B07G4LHQHQ

This was the third part of a series of articles dedicated to Prince to celebrate his life and most importantly his art. Stay tuned for more. If you have missed the first part feel free to check it out✨ In the meantime stay home, stay safe and healthy. Peace and Love 4 one another. thank you so much for your attention 💜 G 💜

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cyoza · 4 years

Text

shrike

I was not going to post on here and I tried like 5 times but for some reason the ao3 link isn’t showing up in the tags sand I’m feeling very frustrated so I’m just going to upload the first chapter on here and then the rest of the chapters will be on ao3 because it took me forever last time to get all the chapters together here

I’m going to post the link to my ao3 at the end and see if it works this time but its literally giving me a headache lol

In his 3 years as a protective agent of the CIA, Dick Grayson had never once slept past his alarm. However, he’d never felt the urge stronger than he did that morning. Even with the blaring siren of his alarm sounding, he’d lay staring at the ceiling for the few minutes he could spare wishing he could hit the snooze button.

For the next 6 months.

Dick had been very lucky in his 5 year career, shadowing various important but interesting diplomats and thus learning a lot more than the average person about the world and often top secret information. But it seemed like his luck had run out. For he was to spend the next 6 months babysitting some spoiled, pampered princess.

Kory Anders had definitely built up a reputation for herself - and not necessarily a good one. From his research, he had found multiple articles that described her short temper, recklessness and honestly almost careless attitude towards dating; a new man or woman on her arm every month. It didn’t help that she was an actual princess which meant that guarding her was going to be a bigger pain in the ass than usual. When it came to Royals, they would feel more comfortable with their own services as well as CIA protection which made it all the more difficult to get the job done. Safe to say there was no real part of him looking forward to the task.

But Dick got up anyway, clicking off both his phone alarm and battery back up along the way. He got ready in a daze, cruising on autopilot until he stood in front of the mirror adjacent to his front door. White shirt crisp and immaculate as usual, dark navy tie placed perfectly at the centre, all pulled together with a sharp angled black blazer.

A picture of a model agent.

Bruce Wayne would be proud.

Dick watched as his eyes narrowed automatically at the thought but he forced himself to relax; he didn’t need anymore tension in his body today and thinking about his adoptive father wasn’t going to help.

So he grabbed his keys and made his way to work, again not really present for the journey but the dread that settled in him as he pulled into the parking lot forcibly ejected him out of his reverie and back to reality.

He tried to ignore it, doing the best he could to seem like his charismatic but professional self as he made it through security. Saying hello to Joe as he x-rayed his bag and commenting on Max’s new hair do as she scanned through his fingerprints and ID before making his way through the halls to the DS’s office.

He paused facing the heavy mahogany door, bracing himself before knocking.

‘Come in,’ was the gruff reply.

Dick let out a sigh before entering, shutting the door softly behind him and making his way to stand by the double burgundy leather arm chairs opposite the mahogany desk.

Directorate of Support Officer Charles ‘Chip’ Wenthem looked every bit the stereotypical middle-aged officer was to be expected to look. Thick grey caterpillar moustache with a matching buzzcut and permanently stress induced protruding coronary in the neck.

‘Ah Grayson, good you’re here. The Royal Family will be here any minute. I know this isn’t the best assignment but I want you to put your best foot forward, alright? We really need this to go well.’

‘Of course, sir. Looking forward to doing the best I can for my country as always.’ He lied, giving him a tense but polite smile that neither reassured nor reinforced his statement. Yet neither of them mentioned anything, knowing the job would get done either way to an exemplary standard anyway.

‘Glad to hear it, son. Now, as explained in the dossier, you’ll be guarding the Princess Kory Anders of Tamaran along with her personal protection services named Faddei Adeliyi. You’ve done this enough times that I don’t need to hold your hand, Grayson, but proceed with caution. The Tamaranians keep to themselves so we don’t know much about them for a background on customs. Follow their lead and watch yourself. You’re one of my best agents and I don’t want you to get kicked off this case for something stupid, alright?’

Dick suddenly felt the tension he’d tried very hard to suppress return to his body at full force. Chip was a good DS but it was times like this that he felt his patience with him was paper thin. 10 years of experience in law enforcement with 5 of them in covert operations just to have him speak to him like he was a teenager fresh out the force on his first mission. Dick bit back his frustration and gave him another tight smile but before he could speak again, there was a knock at the door prior to Chip’s mousy assistant poking his head through.

‘Um, sir, we have the Tamaranean Royal family through security and here to see you.’ Arthur spoke quietly, shifting his eyes rapidly between Chip and the floor. Even after 2 years working here, Arthur was still terrified of every single thing; it was a wonder how he even got the job.

‘Send them in.’ Chip waved his hand in confirmation sending Arthur’s head back around the door before he came back to swing it wide open again.

Dick had seen beautiful people in his life as he seemed to always fall into their orbit unintentionally. But they all paled in comparison to the people who walked in the room in those next 5 minutes. The man who walked in after Arthur could only be described as ethereal. Towering taller than any other person Dick had come into contact with, it wasn’t his height that commanded the attention in the room nor was it his transfixing good looks. His shoulder length dark locs framed his face and corresponded with his gruff beard, which were both laced through with grey and emphasised the high slant of his cheekbones. It was his eyes, however, that drew the attention to the face, a gleaming brilliant gold that seemed luminescent even in the poorly lit office. But it was neither of these things that person would be enthralled by. Rather the aura around him was so authoritative and regal that it demanded an attention that you never wanted to withdraw. He seemed to glide as he walked into the room, his mulberry chiffon-like robe swishing around him as if there was a breeze that existed only for him. Dick could only assume he was the King, especially with the thin intricately woven golden crown he wore, pinning back some of his locs.

Even the guards that trailed behind him were some of the most stunning guards he’d ever seen, despite them dimming in comparison to the King. A man and a woman, again taller than the average person and again dressed in a similar shade of mauve to the King but more combat appropriate. Dick felt his knowledge of gender binary being challenged as he observed them both, the woman’s head shaved with a complex design tattooed across the expanse and the man with equally elaborate braids running across his scalp and trailing down his back. He had never felt more inferior in his life, even with Bruce Wayne as a father.

Dick’s attention was brought back to Chip as he made his way around the desk to greet them.

‘Your Majesty King Myand’r, welcome to the US. It is our utmost pleasure to be able to host you on your stay here.’ Chip had never sounded or looked more nervous in his life, this interaction clearly having the same effect on him as it was having on Dick.

‘Thank you..Charles, is it?’ He questioned, moving forward to extend a hand which ‘Charles’ anxiously but gratefully accepted. ‘And you must be Dick.’ He turned to Dick and stretched out a hand toward him too.

‘Yes, Your Majesty.’ Dick hoped his voice sounded strong and stable but he made sure that his handshake was, uncharacteristically wanting to exert himself, as futile as he felt it was.

‘So you’re the one protecting my daughter. Then let me introduce, my eldest daughter - Princess Koriand’r.’

King Myand’r stepped aside and it felt like all the breath had been punched out of Dick’s lungs. He had seen pictures, of course, but as beautiful as she was in them, they all felt like insults compared to the real thing. Dick didn’t know where to look first, completely overwhelmed by her presence. She seemed to be a head shorter than her father so she still dwarfed everyone in the room and it didn’t help that the vivid scarlet curls that sat atop her head gave her added inches that she really didn’t need. The crimson coils seemed to halo her face in a heart shape, her cheekbones high and sharp like her father’s and just like her father, her eyes were transfixing. Bright and shimmering, they mimicked his luminosity but hers were an emerald green that paralleled the jewels themselves. They were only emphasised by the glittery gold eyeshadow she wore, her pouty full lips also painted with a dark maroon.

Dick knew he was being rude but he couldn’t help but look at her. It was difficult to look away, especially when she also wasn’t wearing very much. As relatively warm as it was in Virginia in September, it definitely didn’t warrant the outfit she wore, or lack thereof. Again she wore a varying shade of purple to her counterparts, but this time it covered way less. Clothed in a light cotton skirt he could barely call a skirt, it reached the floor but the two high slits travelling up her legs all the way to her hips left very little to the imagination so her legs seemed to go on forever which were only highlighted by the 5 inch gold gladiator sandals she was wearing. Her midriff was also bare, the top she was wearing covering her breasts and not very much else, wrapping around them with two tiny trivial spaghetti straps holding the fabric up.

Dick felt like he had been staring at her for a lifetime but it was probably only 10 seconds, so he cleared his throat and stepped forward to greet her.

‘Princess Koriand’r, hello. My name is Dick Grayson, I’ll be forming part of your protective team while you are here in the US. It is very nice to meet you and it’s an honour to be guarding you.’ Dick stepped forward to extend a hand to her but was taken aback when she merely rolled her eyes to the side and ignored his outreached hand to fold her arms.

Dick looked frantically between the King and Chip dropping his hand and worried that he’d made a faux pas and offended her within a minute of meeting her. But he had merely taken the cue from her father with a handshake. Maybe it was different for different genders? Perhaps he was supposed to curtsey or bow?

‘You must excuse my daughter, Mr Grayson, she is proving difficult to convince that she does in fact need your services. She is quite headstrong which is a trait we admire in our country as it shows strength. But in times like this, we could possibly do without it.’ He explained before gesturing to his daughter.

‘You don’t need to talk about me like I’m not here, Father.’

Dick reeled hearing her voice; it was rich and melodic and suited her perfectly.

‘Well, Koriand’r, start acting like you are here and maybe I won’t have to,’ the King retorted.

‘I don’t see why we have to be here at all. I am a trained warrior, there is no way that I could benefit from having these feeble h-’

‘Koriand’r, that’s enough!’ He cut her off sharply, eyes suddenly blazing. ‘It is time to stop acting like a child and act like you are next in line for the throne, for X’hal’s sake. The CIA were kind enough to extend their services to us while we are here and we were grateful to accept. You shall greet Mr Grayson here appropriately and behave yourself whilst you are under his care.’

Dick could see the fury building under her guise as her father admonished her, obviously wanting to argue when her body abruptly relaxed. She swung her head to face Dick, a wide, sultry smile on her face before making her way to stop a few inches in front of him, hips swaying enticingly as she strolled over. He only hoped his swirling mind wasn’t evident and his professional facade was still in place as he inhaled her sweet rosy scent. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried to keep control of himself and not let himself be party to whatever game she was trying to play.

‘Hello, Mr Grayson, it’s a pleasure. I can only thank you for your service and I look forward to being under your care.’ She purred, lifting her hand towards him.

Oh, these 6 months were going to be longer than expected.

Further chapters: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21785914

#titans #dc titans #titans 2018 #dickkory #dickory fanfic #dickkory fanfiction #dick grayson #kory anders #koriand'r #au bodyguard #alternate universe #canon divergence #please let it work this time im tired lmao #i really don't know what im doing wronggggg someone help me pleaseeee

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lemonjoonah · 5 years

Text

Artificially Inclined - Pt 3

Title: Artificially Inclined (A.I.) Word Count: 6K Rating: M Genre: Android AU, Assassin AU, Scifi, Romance (smut), Drama, Thriller Warnings: Violence, Disability Discrimination, Drug Use, Sexual Reference Pairings: Maknae Line x Reader (Primarily Jungkook x Reader) Pairings (in this chapter): Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You took Jungkook on as a project, something to help you pass the time in your exile. How could you have known that he would become such a big part of your life? That he would see you as his entire reason for existence, and the only method for his survival. When an outsider, V, is forced into your life, after learning of the secret that keeps you hidden away, relationships shift and tension grows high. After all, how can you expect Jungkook to share your attention when he’s held it for so long?

A/N: Just a forewarning there is going to be a major tone shift two thirds of the way through this chapter. It’s a POV switch, which is written in true first person (as opposed to the modified version I sometimes write in). I considered splitting it off into another chapter but in order for you to get the full view of what’s happening I decided to keep it all together. Enjoy!

Chapter 3 - Execution Flaw

Present 9:40 am December 4th, 2054

POV (Y/N)

“I would like you to ask me Noona. If it happens again, I want to help you.”

You find yourself repeating, ‘he doesn’t know what he’s asking,’ over and over in your mind until you find a way to resolve his request. ...Jungkook what do you feel towards me? When you see me what is your first reaction?...

“I want to assist you.”

...Would you ever deny me a request?...

“Of course not Noona.”

...Then I’m sorry but I can’t ask you to help me. I know you say that you want to, but you do not yet possess the components that equate to consent in this matter... The explanation you give is formal but it’s the best you have.

“And what are those components?” Jungkook’s eagerness weighs on you, it’s as if he expects to receive a simple answer that will clarify everything.

...There are a few but I suppose the basics would consist of love, desire, and the ability to refute...

“The update that Hyung gave you, will that not solve these issues?”

...I’m not sure Jungkook, I need to look at the coding first. I don’t want to walk into this blindly...

“May I look at it?”

...I think it’s best if I hold onto it for now...

“It would be more efficient for me to examine the software.”

...Jungkook, it would make me happy if you dropped the subject... You cringe internally as you write those words but you find yourself unsure of how else to get him to change the conversation. You don’t want to even risk him even seeing the coding in case he begins the update unintentionally after viewing the programming. He has a habit of latching on to so much information and then integrating it into his system. If he feels like something will improve his capabilities he will seek to upload it.

Jungkook goes silent, but watches your expression closely as you head towards the dining room for breakfast. Your plate is set at your seat stuffed to the edge with your favourites, while the rest of the table remains bare. Jungkook takes the seat next to you as your mind continues to dwell on his proposal.

“You’re not happy.”

You look back to Jungkook, confused by his statement.

...What do you mean?...

“You said that if I dropped the subject you would be happy.”

...Sorry, I was just thinking about tonight... Such a bold face lie, you scold yourself while taking a bite of an apple. Not wanting to meet his eyes you look to the toast rack next for a slice of whole wheat but today you find it empty.

“Would you like to discuss the schedule for the day?”

...Yes please anything to distract me...

“Your brother should arrive home in just over an hour. Followed by your meeting with him regarding your dissertation. Your parents will get in just before the party which will start at 8pm and then fly out again at 11pm. It appears they have also just sent you and Seokjin a joint email wishing you a Happy Birthday.”

Jungkook abruptly stops the rundown while his head tilts in the direction of the kitchen. This behaviour is nothing new, with his improved hearing he can often listen in on things that might be impossible for you to pick up.

He stands up from his seat and moves in the direction he was staring off into. “I’ll return shortly Noona.”

When he opens the door to the kitchen you can briefly hear the ruckus inside, before the door slams shut behind him again.

Jungkook returns a minutes later with an appliance in tow.

...Jungkook why do you have a toaster?...

He looks down at the small device he’s cradling in hands. “I can fix it Noona.”

After giving you the vague answer, he sits back down and looks ominously at the door, until your head chef bursts forth to address you.

“Keep that mechanical pet of yours out of my kitchen!”

...Jungkook is allowed to go wherever he wishes. If he enters your kitchen there is obviously a reason for him to be there...

“He stole the toaster!”

...Jungkook why did you take it?...

“She was yelling at it and hitting it, I wanted her to stop. I can repair it.”

...If Jungkook wishes to fix the toaster I see no problem here...

“Fine he can keep the damn thing, I’ll just get a new one that actually works.”

As the cook returns to the kitchen you shake your head. You wish that occurrences like this were rare but unfortunately Jungkook has a habit of rubbing some people the wrong way. It’s not his fault, he’s just trying to help them. Why can’t they see that?

“She was going to throw it out Noona.” There is such distress in his voice that your frustration crumbles. You know that he worries that he will be treated the same one day. He only wants to show people the value of technology... even if it is a simple toaster.

...I know Jungkook...

“Why do humans dispose of things so quickly?”

...Because they don’t understand. They feel that it’s not worth their time fix something that’s broken...

“Why are you different Noona?”

...Because to them I am broken too... You identify far more with the appliance in Jungkook’s hands than the women who was trying to dispose of it.

“You are not broken Noona. You are living within the parameters of how you were made. You cannot give fault to the device, only the creator.”

...Thank you Jungkook...

...

After breakfast you begin prepping for your discussion with Seokjin, while also taking a glancing through his correspondence from the past year.

Dec. 7th, 2053

...I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I left you there. I just couldn’t stay, I couldn’t stand the thought of being in the house where we were lied to our whole lives for even a moment longer. I was selfish, I hadn’t considered what you might be feeling. Please let me know that you’re okay. I won’t be coming home for a while but I just need you to know that you are still my sister, my very brilliant sister.

- Seokjin...

...

Dec. 31st, 2053

...Sorry I haven’t been able to visit. I’ll see if I can get some time off for the Lunar Holiday. I’m glad to hear that you are doing well. I have some fantastic news to share. The first of the new defence model units are coming off the production line. I am taking a couple semesters off from grad school to be involved with their development but they should be ready to go within a year! They never would have made it this far without out your insight, I just thought you, my brilliant sister, should know the incredible work you’ve done.

-Seokjin...

...

Feb. 8th, 2054

...Happy Lunar New Year! And again I must send my apologies. They’ve been keeping me busy here. One day I’ll bring you to the international factory to show you what you helped create. I know that I haven’t been home to discuss your work, trust me when I say that I miss those times too, but you can always send anything you wish to discuss to my dropbox. You may have to explain it to me though because there is no way I could ever live up to your brilliance.

-Seokjin...

...

June 23rd, 2054 (Message has been decrypted by JK0901)

...I’m sure you’ve guessed by now the reasons for the lack of communication, especially with it being all over the news. But I figured you would want me to confirm. There has been some push back with our new units from two extremist groups. The first is a religious organization called S(e)oul First, I would almost enjoy their cleaver name were it not for their antics. They claim that we are playing god, and taking innocent lives with our soulless creations, so their recourse has been to attack out our factories. We have managed to secure our production lines in classified locations but contact in and out must be limited and heavily encrypted, for fear of discovery.

The second group, known as Asimov's Law, has been trying to push that we bind all androids to rules set in popular fiction. I mean really, can you believe that? They have been relatively quiet recently, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they make their strike too. So please, I am begging you, stay by JK0901, and stay safe. I’ll contact you when I can.

-Seokjin...

...

Nov. 25th, 2054 (Message has been decrypted by JK0901)

...Thank you for all of your messages and updates. I can finally make a short trip back home for our birthday next week, although I suppose there will be some business mixed in too. I guess that party that our parents are throwing will also be the official public announcement of the military line, there will be several government officials in attendance. So much for our celebration right?

But with this trip I’ll finally be able to discuss your progress with you in person. I must say I was surprised to see the direction you are taking your work. My flight gets in just after 10am so I’ll probably make it home around 11 shall we take some time then to discuss your findings then?

-Seokjin...

...

The second that Seokjin steps in the door he wraps you in a tight hug. You can hardly contain your excitement so see your brother again after so long.

“I guess you missed me too?” He laughs as he pulls you away slowly. “After what I did I don’t deserve such kindness.”

You shake your head to convey that all is forgotten.

“Come on I know you’re anxious to show me what you’ve been up to.”

With your annual report due to the research team in a matter of days you are looking for some initial feedback. The subject matter is so unusual that the lens through which it is presented becomes essential to its reception.

As Seokjin looks over your final paper you watch his expression closely. His brow furrows several times as if in confusion.

...What’s wrong?...

“It’s good I’m just a little perplexed as to how it will benefit the direction in which the company is currently going. You’re discussing possible advancements to affective computing but we already have a good baseline for emotional recognition. It’s expensive research to conduct and I worry that we would see little return if we continued to invest in that area.”

...It could be improved. I spend most of my time with Jungkook and he still struggles to determine some emotional expressions. But this isn’t just about androids seeing and understanding emotions but possibly even feeling them...

“What benefit would that give to the military defense units?”

...You said it yourself that people are having difficulty accepting them. This might help bridge the gap...

“We are not going to cater to extremists, they will never be happy.”

...Then at least for household droids. If I can work with Jungkook to the point where he is able to develop his own emotions. We could apply that to assistant units and such, it could make their productivity increase if they can apply emotional intelligence...

“I was worried about this....” It’s with a sigh that Seokjin continues, “We are not trying to make them human (Y/N).”

You feel a sense of embarrassment as he simplifies your work so bluntly. You can only assume he wants you to see the error of your ways, but why? Why is it so wrong to want this for them? Jungkook makes you feel more human than anyone else, yet you can’t give him the same experience.

...No but I would like them to understand. They should understand what they are fighting, and what they are protecting...

...

“I’m sorry Noona.”

...For what?...

“I’m sorry that Master wasn’t impressed by our work.”

...He just doesn’t find value in it yet. I’m sure once we are successful he will...

Jungkook is currently helping you with your dress for tonight. You didn’t realize when you ordered it that the back consisted of intricate laces that the wearer would need assistance with. But of course Jungkook was more than willing to aid you. You watch him in his progress through the mirror in front of you. He himself had already changed into the same black suit that all of the security units would be wearing.

As his fingers threaded the ribbon through the notches in the fabric they would occasionally brush the skin of your back. After each loop he tugs on the lace cinching it together. This causes you to lose balance several times during the process but he stops to brace you when it does.

...Did you manage to fix the toaster while I was with Seokjin?...

He beams back at you through the mirror, “Yes I did.”

...What was wrong with it?...

“User error. She did not maintain the appliance, she is not like you.” He yanks on the strings of the gown one last time pulling you into him. Jungkook’s face now right beside yours, you watch through the looking glass as he looks at you intently, whispering into your ear, “You take such good care of me Noona.” His fingers trail along the boning of the dress, pressing down and smoothing out the fabric on your skin as they move along. “How does that fit?”

Reluctantly taking your eyes off him, you test the bodice with a tug. ...I think it could be a little tighter...

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

...You won’t, I won’t be wearing it for long. I am just worried about it falling...

“Formal attire seems so unnecessarily complex.”

...Yes, yes it is. It’s amazing what we’ll do to look pretty...

“You are already pretty Noona.” You inhale sharply as he tightens the gown further. “Based on the standards of society you are considered attractive.”

Your hand hovers over the tablet as you ponder if you should press him further. ...What about your standards?...

“I don’t have standards of beauty, but I suppose it could be considered my drive to observe you. If that’s the case I consider you very beautiful.” His hand comes to find your wrist. “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt, your heart is racing again.”

You nod to him, flush with embarrassment.

...

The party is contained to a separate building on the property used for entertaining guests. On one side there is a large elaborate ballroom and on the other there is a corridor filled with smaller rooms, including your refuge in the form of a piano parlor. An evening such as this often becomes a test on how short you can make your appearance without it seeming odd or rude.

Without your tablet in hand you feel empty and anxious. Clinging to Jungkook's arm as if he is a crutch. You have done this so many times before but each spectacle makes you nervous wondering if this will be the time someone figures out your secret before you can leave. As you enter you nod to the several people who recognize you. You find yourself fortunate for your brother, all of the guests have their sights set on him for discussion not just because of his position, but due to his affable nature. Jungkook quickly ushers you to the corner occupied by Namjoon.

One of the temporary wait staff hired for the evening approaches to offer you a glass of champagne. Jungkook turns them away for you to avoid any issue. Namjoon eyes the waiter as he leaves, waiting until the staff is fully out of sight before addressing you.

“You look stunning.”

You cock your head and glower at him. Namjoon says this every year.

“What? I’m still not allowed to say that?.”

“Not to my sister.” Seokjin steps up to your side.

“Seokjin.”

“Namjoon.”

You look between the two men letting out a huff at their cold acknowledgment of each other. Namjoon and Seokjin have never quite seen eye to eye. Namjoon hates him for labeling your work as his, while Seokjin loathes him for not paying the respect his title demands.

Seokjin leans into you while taking a sip of champagne. “They've really outdone themselves this time haven’t they. Our parents thought it would be smart to invite all of my old school mates to make it seem like an actual party, not a publicity event. Pathetic isn’t it? I haven’t seen half of these people for more than 10 years.”

You nod noting that the room looks more full than usual. You scan the ballroom taking a pause for a moment as you see a familiar face in the crowd. It couldn’t be, is it really him?

Seokjin takes note of your distraction following your gaze. “Is that V? That’s a surprise. Do you remember him too? I heard there was an accident, and lost a good portion of his memory. I’m shocked to see him here, rumors are that he likes to keep to himself now.”

You lock eyes with the guest from your past, for a brief moment you consider that maybe, just maybe he remembers you too. But he turns his head away quickly and without acknowledgment, dashing any hope for you to reunite.

“I have to give the announcement soon. You should be good to leave after that.” Seokjin turns to Jungkook, “JK0901, I’ll leave her to you. I can at least trust that you won’t run off with some frivolous tart while on guard duty.” He smirks at Namjoon after issuing the order, with the obvious attention of giving offense.

“Someone sounds jealous. I could give you a few pointers on how to attract people, but that would require you to be a decent human being.” You elbow Namjoon in the ribs for his comment, but he continues to sneer at Seokjin. “Go ahead, run along now, go take credit for work that isn’t yours.”

As Seokjin leaves you glare at Namjoon, but he only scoffs at your expression. “You know it’s considered rude to give your tutor such a look... you’re lucky I find it amusing.”

...

A herd of people begin to congregate closer to the stage for Seokjin’s speech. You find a couple of them looking to your direction, they seem curious of you but intimidated by Jungkook's presence.

“My sister and I would like to thank you for coming this evening to celebrate our birthday. We also must pass along the apology that my parents are unable to join us at the moment as their travel plans were delayed, they hope to arrive as soon as possible. But that leaves me with the pleasure of sharing official news of the progress we have been making. As of today, we have just shipped out 500 new military units equipped with state of the art programming that will keep us safe for years to come. Human soldiers will become a thing of the past, and soon conscription will no longer be necessary.” There was an uproar of applause. “This has been the goal of our company for a long time but of course we couldn’t done it without your support, so please enjoy yourselves tonight!

As sound of the ovation comes to an end you have your cue to leave. For some reason after a speech the environment always becomes palpable with excitement and people will often try to embrace you with conversation. Hiding yourself behind Jungkook, he edges you to the hallway with several androids guarding the entrance to make your exit.

You are only too happy to be lead back to the parlor by Jungkook. He guides you to your favourite spot in the room, the piano bench. Your tablet already there and waiting for you.

“May I give you your present now Noona?”

You look over to him with a curious interest. ...Jungkook you aren’t required to give me anything for my birthday...

“Neither is Hyung, but you accepted his gift. Will you receive mine too?”

You nod expecting him to pull something out from a pocket but instead he places his hands on the keys in front of you. The ivory presses beneath his fingers in the form of a familiar melody. It’s an accompaniment, the perfect fit to the first piece he had ever heard you play.

...You learned how to play?...

He nods, “Your music is essential you, I want to be part of it too.”

...But this song, you remember it? I haven’t played it in so long...

Jungkook looks to you as he continues, not even missing a beat. “I can recall everything you do Noona, but the memory of this song keeps repeating for me. At first I thought it was an error, but I believe this is what humans experience when a memory is important to them, is it not?”

You nod to confirm, a tear escaping you as you are overwhelmed with emotion. Jungkook’s fingers pause on the keys to address your tears ...No, keep playing, these are happy tears I promise...

“Will you play it with me? Can I hear your voice with mine?”

The small piano bench encourages you to press your side against his as you take up position. Your fingers quake slightly as they join his on the instrument, matching Jungkook's slow soft tempo allowing your fingers to roll over the instrument's keys.

His hand nudges yours as your notes draw closer together. His sound is a little more forceful than your own, especially for such a piece. This time you place your hand on his, guiding him to caress the keys, showing him how feather light touches can convey just as much. Wondering if he can see how it changes the emotional impact of the song.

Jungkook looks to you again with another question as the piece comes to a close, “Noona that man Master was referring to earlier, V, did you know him?”

You finish off the last few notes before responding. ...I did. A long time ago, before I met you...

You were upset that V did not recognize you when you met eyes, but Jungkook more than makes up for that now. He will never leave you, he will never forget you. So why is it so hard to wipe the boy with the boxy grin from your mind?

You find Seokjin standing in the doorway with a coy grin on his face. “Mom and Dad just arrived if you want to see them?”

You shake your head and lowered your eyes, “Yeah I felt the same, luckily they’ll only be here for an hour or two and then they are heading out with the Prime Minister.” He nods at Jungkook, “So now you’re training it how to play the piano too?”

Seokjin paces closer to see your answer ...He is acting off his own impulses. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you, they are more than just assistants or soldiers...

“For our company to thrive they can’t be, we need soldiers who are going to take orders not question their leaders. This is for the greater good. You heard what I said, with these units we can save lives, we can end conscription.”

Seokjin’s phone suddenly starts to blare out, he looks at the display with apprehension “Why would they risk a call from there? This line isn’t secure.” He mutters quietly before answering the phone.

“Hello, yes why are you... what... what the hell do you mean it never arrived? How can 500 units just go missing?... Do you know what that shipment was worth?” Seokjin’s anger is overflowing, it’s terrifying to see him in such a rage. “Have them send the jet to Seoul I’ll leave right away.”

He gives out a sigh as he hangs up. “Sorry sis, I’ll have to cut this trip short. I’ll send word soon once I make sure that we can have a secure conversation. It looks like our friends have decided to act out again.” There’s a swift kiss to your check before he exits out the back.

While Seokjin takes his leave, Jungkook stares at the other door that leads to the long hallway and ballroom.

...What’s wrong?...

“One of the guests has passed out, possibly do to an allergic reaction. The units on site have sent out an emergency signal to respond.”

...You should go, they might need your help...

“You’ll be okay Noona?”

You nod and wave him off out the door.

In his absence you returning to your piano calling up a different piece from your past, one you learned and played before Jungkook's time. The song you played for V so many years ago. The song he loved to listen to as he sat by your side... the one that prompted him to give you your first kiss at the age of 13. Seokjin might think V a distant memory, but for you he still holds strong.

You had keep your friendship secret from Seokjin, from your family. For fear of what they would do if they found out he knew of your disability.

V would always tell the guards he was coming to visit Seokjin as a child when really he was coming to see you. It had broken you deeply when he and his family moved away in your yearly teen years. You had heard about the accident too. The one that took his family and many of his memories. You wonder how much he could remember. If he can recall you or your time together, does he know of your friendship that grew despite your defect?

The door pushes back open, you keep playing knowing that Jungkook wouldn’t want you to stop on his account. But It’s not Jungkook who comes to stand by your side...

“Sorry to interrupt.”

It’s Kim Vincent... V.

Maybe it was the song you just played, maybe it was the fact that you were reliving the memory, you couldn’t help but toss aside priority for once, leaping up from your piano and pulling him into a hug.

...

Asimov’s Law safe house, Seoul 12:00 pm December 4th, 2054

POV Taehyung

“Fuck!” I curse out as our captive’s vomit spills all over my shoes.

Yoongi enters the room chuckling once he sees the reason for my swear. Calling out to the one who should have been in my predicament. “Hoseok get your ass out here! It’s your job to keep him alive until tonight.”

I look back to the man tied to the chair, Kim Vincent. He’s high as a kite with bile now dripping from his chin. I still can’t shake the eeriness I feel when I look upon him. I know that the whole plan relies on our likeness, but having someone who resembles me so closely is unnerving.

“Did you get everything you needed? I just got the confirmation to proceed for tonight.”

“I think so, we should try and keep him at a better level though, he’s too far gone. I might require any last minute information he can remember but he’s useless like this.” I push the man’s head back proving my point when I release it to lull forward again.

“When we found him he wasn’t much better. You either get this or serious withdrawal symptoms. No one wants an irritable drug addict.”

“Ugh gross.” Hope finally enters the room to look after his charge. “Leave the shoes Tae I’ll find you some other ones. Is Jimin back yet?”

“From his pre-op ritual? No he was out all night, someone must have kept him busy.” I respond with cynicism. The lock on the door begins to rattle and in stumbles Jimin. “Speak of the devil, cutting it a little close aren’t you? Were you out enjoying your walk of shame?”

“I have plenty of time, and he was worth every step. I was sad to see he already left the hotel when I woke up though, I could have gone for another round.” Jimin gives a smug look as he examines the state of the room he’s just entered. “You should join me next time rather than stress here all night. I can find you someone to help relax.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself.” Jimin strolls off to his room with a hum.

“Yoongi where you able to find any more information on our employer?”

“Nothing. Although I expect they are involved with the S(e)oul First movement. They must be part of something big for the amount they’re paying us.”

“Even if they are as close to the family as they boast?’

“That could have been their motive to get so close, we can’t be sure. Their wish to remain anonymous is not surprising, they’re giving us our chance and letting us choose between the two targets so we shouldn’t complain.”

“I’ll take out both if I can. They may just want to send a message, but I want to win this war.”

“Don’t risk it if you don’t have the window though, the male heir is the priority. She will inherit a large fortune, but he is in line to receive the company. This is going to be more dangerous than you anticipate. With so many units around, your time is going to be limited and our communication almost non-existent. Their security is impossible to hack, you’ll be blind, other than what the informant has given us.”

“Just be ready with the switch once I send the green light.”

...

As I hand over my invitation to the staff they compare my face to the image they have on file, directing me thought the metal detector and into the ballroom once they confirm my identity.

It’s hard to believe the number of people of importance that they’ve stuffed into one room. It’s like they are asking for us to make a move. For god sake even the Prime Minister is here. I tug the collar around my neck pulling it forward, countering the weight of the carbon fiber blade tucked into the back of my vest.

The family’s son is making his rounds as I enter. Not wanting to engage him just yet I move to the opposite end of the room confirming guards and exit points. The memory loss from Vincent’s past accident is a decent alibi but if I can avoid all possible conversation I will.

I soon spot Jimin in a wait staff uniform and have to cover a snicker. He always hates these support roles, preferring to be the one to make the strike, but that assignment falls on me today.

After a long wait I watch as the heiress steps into the hall. I had expected her to be just as exuberant as her brother but there seems to be something different about her. Instead of greeting guests she simply confines herself to a corner with her date... no wait, that must be her guard. I almost didn’t recognize him for the android that he is, had it not been for the suit that he’s dawning I might have continued to think him human.

Now that I know him to be a unit I can see the additional signs, how he stands perfectly still, how his eyes dart about the room. But when he looks to the heiress, that is when he appears almost human again. I’ve never seen that expression before in an android, it’s almost as if his whole existence relies on her. He watches every move she makes, and clings so desperately to her side. This could be a problem, what if he doesn’t leave with the others...

I step over to Jimin and grab a glass of champagne from him. “Restroom, two minutes.” I can’t be seen talking with him out on the floor unless I want to draw suspicion to him after my task is done.

I check under the stalls to find it all clear. This is the only spot I can be sure I won't be recorded or overheard.

“That unit...”

“I know, bold of her to bring her sex toy into public don’t you think?”

“Jimin, if he’s not on the security programming he won’t leave her.”

“He’ll leave, he has to be linked to the system in some format.” Jimin pauses in consideration before continuing the assessment of our situation, “That other man though, do you think he’ll follow them?”

“The tutor? No I’ve been told he usually stays until the end of these parties, despite the fact that the heirs always take leave early.”

“She seems like a piece of work, doesn’t she?” Jimin chuckles darkly, “Maybe we should change targets. The son at least thanked me when I offered him a drink, she didn’t even bother to say a word, just turned her head away like I was nothing.”

“I would look away too if a flirtatious brat offered me a drink.”

“Fuck you, she would be so lucky.” Jimin bites back before letting out a long sigh, “This is exhausting waiting on these people, we should have just poisoned them, we’d be done by now.”

“Too risky, and too many variables.”

Jimin moves back to the door. “Fine we’ll stick to your plan Once both of the heirs leave I’ll send out the package, watch for the recipient and then give you a three minute warning.”

...

The son’s speech was cringe worthy, but not as bad as the crowd's reaction. I watch as they are enthralled by him and this perfect family. The end to conscription, that’s their goal? I highly doubt that.

I observe the daughter leave surprisingly early since she was the last to arrive. Exiting down a hall with two guards posted at each side preventing guests from entering the private area.

A half hour later the son takes his leave too. With the arrival of his parents he is relieved from his social duties, exiting down the same hall that his sister had gone.

With his departure, Jimin works quickly to deliver his distraction. When the the bait is taken he gives his signal by offering me another drink.

I station myself close to the hall’s entrance as the minutes pass. A women at the far end of the room begins to cough and gasp as if she’s choking. Just as planned, just as programmed the units leave their post. Prioritizing the health and safety of the guest, but there's still one more I am waiting on. The heiress’s personal unit that left with her, in the seconds that pass my anxiety increases. When the android finally steps out into the ballroom I steal off behind it down the now vacant hall.

I can hear music different from the tone of the ballroom I had just left. A dreary piano melody playing from my intended destination. Clair de Lune, well if that’s the last song he wishes to listen to I can’t deny it to be a good choice, it seems that we at least agree on something.

My hand pauses on the panel as I put an ear to the door. I find it odd that there are no words exchanged between the siblings only the notes of the tune. I push open the door slowly as to not draw attention immediately. The daughter is the one playing the piano, but where is the son, where is my ideal target?

She keeps focused on the music as I draw closer. I stop once she looks up at me a grin spreads throughout her face, but nothing can prepare me for the hug that follows.

V is Seokjin’s friend so why is she having such a reaction to me? None of this makes any sense.

I quickly pull her off of me, “Sorry I was looking for your brother Jin. Is he still here?” I’m careful to use his nickname that he went by in school to maintain the act. It was one of the few things that I had managed to drag from Vincent about him.

She looks absolutely broken after hearing my words. Her mouth hangs open ever so slightly her lips trembling as she shakes her head.

“Can you tell me where he went?”

She remains silent much to my dismay, a sadness continues to fill her expression. I begin to curse her out in my mind, if she tells me I will leave, if she tells me I don’t have to fucking kill her instead...

She takes a step back knocking over the piano bench in the process.

My time is running short, that drug that Jimin had someone serve the women will soon wane.

With no other option she will have to do. “May I wait here with you until he returns?” I try my best to remain cordial as I taking a step towards her, I reach behind to find my concealed blade. Why isn’t she answering me? I notice her eyes dart over to a tablet resting on the piano stand. I thought it would display music but it looks to be half of a conversation.

...What’s wrong?...

...You should go, they might need your help...

My hand stops before I draw the dagger out into view. Why would she type out orders? Why isn’t she saying anything? Is it... is it because she can’t? This is not what I expected, she is not what her family presents her to be. She is not perfect... she is not without flaw...

...

A/N: Whew! Lots to digest in that part, if you have any questions, about the world building, or characters, feel free to send me an ask!

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