#this has been on my drafts for a whole month i completely forgot about it gkjkfdjkfh

[midniter]

● films watched in 2022 ↴ Monica and Friends: Lessons (Turma da Mônica: Lições) 2021 • Brazil • dir. Daniel Rezende

We never stop growing up.

#filmedit #minimalistsource #dailyworldcinema #latinesource #braziliansource #2022watches* #my edit #my gifs #turma da mônica #turma da mônica: lições #this has been on my drafts for a whole month i completely forgot about it gkjkfdjkfh #also i'm 4 movies behind in this gifset series 😭

[heartofwritiing]

home is wherever you are tonight

paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

summary: its your birthday, a day you dread every year due to bad memories, and wilbur manages to change your mindset.

authors note: this has been sitting in my drafts since march and i forgot about it oops. this is completely self indulgent. Ive dreaded my birthday for the past five years because of personal reasons… i thought maybe writing a non-shitty fake birthday would make me feel better so, it did lol. enjoy!! :)

warnings: self indulgent, mentions of childhood trama, negative past events, mentions of toxic family, fluff, Wilbur being the cutest-best boyfriend, hurt-comfort, yes the title is a lyric from a lizzy mcalpine song.. unedited!

The day had come. the day you dreaded every year for as long as you could remember. it was your birthday.

Most people would be elated about turning another year older, to celebrate but not you. Instead, it filled you with utter disinterest and resentment. To you, it was just another day on the calendar.

Ever since you could remember you’ve just hated your birthday. Each year just felt like they got worse and worse with the number of times You had been let down. Whether it was by family drama or people just forgetting. It was the same every year. So when you finally moved away from your toxic relatives you pretty much forget about it. Only remembering when you'd get a text from your parents to wish you a happy birthday. At least they remembered now that you were gone...

You were relieved when no one at work had brought it up. you never really talked to your coworkers about your personal life, you weren't that type of person. Still, you were grateful the only attention you got today was from one of your peers Matt, asking about the printer in the office not working right.

When you walked into your flat, what you weren’t expecting was too see your boyfriend standing near the door waiting for you.

“why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” Wilbur asks in a slightly offended tone.

The front door hasn’t even shut yet and he’s caught you completely off guard with his question. Your heart drops in your stomach.

“hello to you too,” you snort, putting your bag down and sliding your jacket off. "And how'd you even know?" Avoiding the question. Cause that will make this better.

he sighs.

“Answer the question please, love,”

You’re toeing off the uncomfortable shoes you were required to wear at your job as you blankly bink back at him.

You can tell by the frowned expression on his face that he wasn’t just gonna let you drop this anytime soon. His arms are crossed over his sweater, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as his curls fall around his eyes.

“maybe because it's not a big deal,” you shrugged. Wilbur stops you with a hand on your shoulder before you can escape to your shared room. It wasn't forceful but gentle, his eyes asking you to stay, talk, anything. You just wanted to go to bed and sleep until your shift tomorrow and just forget about this whole day.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks. "I don't particularly like my birthday but still celebrate with friends, family, and loved ones."

There it was.

You wanted to avoid this.

"Look, I don't want to pressure you into talking about this, you can tell me when you're ready. I can tell how uncomfortable you got when I asked you outright why you didn't say anything about it being your birthday, I'm sorry..."

You could tell he was just confused and who could blame him. You had only been dating for about a year and finally moved in together last month. He didn't want to pressure you into anything you weren't ready for, which was one of the many things you adored about him. Always so patient and thoughtful about your feelings and well-being.

There was no avoiding it now as he asked the question. Your heart beating in your ears.

“Why don’t you like your birthday, love?”

“well…” you began, but you could feel the lump in your throat forming as you thought carefully how to put it. You clear your throat and take a deep breath. “I just, have a lot of trauma revolving around today,”

Wilbur has moved slowly towards you now, almost like you were a spooked animal and he was trying to calm you. He listened carefully as you spoke slowly.

“my parents fought a lot growing up, and even on my birthday they just didn’t seem to care, even for one day, so i mostly spent my birthdays alone.”

The look in his eyes says it all. He feels so heartbroken for you. You collapsed into his chest and he wrapped you in his arms, squeezing you firmly and you felt the weight in your chest fading.

"Well listen, I got you your favorite type of cake, a good bottle of wine, not that cheap shit, the really nice one we liked. we're gonna sit on the couch and eat, and you can tell me all about your day." he pauses only to bring your face out from his chest to look you in your eyes. "and then, we're gonna cuddle and I'm gonna tell you how much I love and appreciate you."

With that, he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs and kisses your nose softly. You swear that press of his lips was what made you cave. You began to break down in front of him.

Wilbur's hands seem to be the only thing keeping you upright at the moment. If he wasn't holding you, you were sure you would have fallen to your knees by now. You sob silently as you take his wrists in your hands but don't remove them from your cheeks. The intensity of the long work day and all the recurring memories this day brought you every year, combined with Wilbur's sweet gestures and words made you break.

You felt everything come down on you all at once, yet there Wilbur was, always waiting for you at the end of the day. Always there to comfort you and support you. So these weren’t sad tears no, they were happy tears. Finally, you found someone who cherished you and cared for you enough.

-

@trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @highstonedcat

#wilbur soot x reader #fanfiction #wilbur soot x fem!reader #cc!wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot fanfiction #x reader #fluff #mcyt imagine #birthday fic 🥳 #self insert

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

A Fanfic Update

Hey guys, I thought I should give you an update about what's going on Ongoing-WIPs-wise just in case you've had some worries.

The short of it is that the writing juices haven't flowed well for a while now and I'm trying to get them back but it is a struggle. I've worked a bit on this fic or other but haven't made significant progress in a few months. I absolutely hope that will change soon but I unfortunately can't force it. It doesn't help that I'm going through some stuff IRL right now that I have to take care of (I am unfortunately an adult who has to do adulting and pay bills and shit 🥲). I try not to be too stressed out about it, but the more time passes the more the anxiety sets in. Wish me luck. 💪🏻

Anyway, here's a fic-by-fic overview, split up by fandom.

THE UNTAMED

The Angsty SongXue Fic — I'll be honest, I've written a little bit since I last updated you guys but I still haven't finished the buffer chapter (at this point I'm thinking about posting chapter 51 even though 52 isn't done yet), so nothing really new here. I really want to get back into a writing flow but so far it hasn't really worked. I am still working on it, though, so don't worry, I'm not going to drop it.

The It Follows AU — I'm ashamed to say I didn't even realize I posted that fic almost two years ago and I still haven't written the second half. I'm so sorry it's taking so long! I definitely still want to finish it! I might rewatch the It Follows movie before I do that, though.

The Observer Series — Oh yeah, remember that smutfic series I started a few years ago of which I've only posted part 1 so far? Yeah, I still need to work on that. I did write chapter 1 of part 2 a while ago, so it's not like it's forgotten, I just need to get my ass up and write the rest of part 2 before I can post it. 🙈

The Color Rush AU — Okay, technically I haven't posted that one yet but I did share a snippet along with a gifset a few years ago, so you guys know it exists. I haven't worked on it in a long time, though, and I don't know yet when I will find the spoons to continue writing it but I'm still intrigued by the premise and want to give it a go. Thank you for your patience!

The Somewhat Sweet, Somewhat Angsty XuanXian Fic — Again, haven't posted that one yet but I've been posting about it, so you guys know it exists. Nothing new on this front. I did want to rewrite the whole thing because I wasn't really happy with the way I wrote it thus far, so I'll probably go back to it at some point and do that, I just don't know when yet.

WORD OF HONOR

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic — Listen, guys, I love this fic so much, I just haven't worked on it in a while. I'll probably re-read what I've written so far and go on from there, I've just been struggling with the latest chapter ever since I started writing it years ago. It's not dropped, though, I will get back to it! Pinky swear!

SAILOR MOON

I've mentioned here and there that I'm working on part 1 of an epic that is based on a doujinshi I started when I was 13 or 14. Unlike my other WIPs, this one really is 100% self-indulgent to the point where I don't even care whether people will read/like it once I post it when it's completely done. I'll just put it out there to make my teenage self happy because this story has been simmering in my head for over 20 years, and so that my IRL friends can read it if they want to. So, this one will be a long way out, but it exists. I'm only really mentioning it because I've mentioned it a couple of times before and because it's the fic that's been on my mind the most lately.

STAR WARS

You didn't think I forgot about TROBS, did you????? I did work on several beginnings of a draft during NaNoWriMo last year and I'm getting more and more of a clear picture of how I want it to go. For those unfamiliar, TROBS (or The Rise of Ben Skywalker, though I already changed the name of the fic again) is my attempt at an Episode IX fix-it fic that essentially replaces TROS. This one has been simmering in my head since early 2020 and I really want to get it out of there and onto the page for catharsis. I've even held off on reading any other TROS fix-its because of it, even though I've heard there are some really amazing ones out there (and I can't wait to read them once I've gotten my own out of my damn head). I really need to finally finish that beast. Wish me luck. 🥲

UNPOSTED WIPs

I still have so many notes for other fics (mostly for The Untamed) that I want to write at some point. Will I be able to get them all on the page? I honestly don't know, but I'll see where they take.

Anyway, that's all!

#jen's ramblings #jengwrites

[youredreamingofroo]

Ya'll... I think I might start a new story, I have a... basic concept of what I want it to be like, and I already have a name (under the impression that I don't suddenly do a 180), I just need to do like... all the writing and make the characters LMFAO It's gonna be a little on the dreary side and dark (which is the kind of writing/genre i aspire to write about, also means I'm gonna have to redo my personal reshade that ive been cooking for like... 3 or 4 months... 😭)-

in the meantime, I might start working on gussying up my navi post (and by gussy up, i mean completely redo) because as nice as it is, it's, idk, a little outdated (i guess), I have an idea for a new theme except i'm either going to a) put it in the drafts and wait til I start the new story to post it so the info is all there or b) make it and then post it and when i start the new story, edit it and put the tags and stuff in for the story.

ALSO might do a name change cuz... this name came from WAYYY before i joined simblr, and its got a charm to it, but i dont rlly like it anymore,, it just dont sit with me the same way that it used to lmao

*(writing this after i posted cuz i forgot to say this - its under the cut and in regards to NSB with the new story - it also kinda turned into a rant lmfao) TL:DR for ppl who don't wanna read my stupid fucking rant: NSB is prob gonna go on a hiatus regardless of if i start a new story, cuz as much as I love it, it's started to feel like a chore and less of smth i enjoy (even tho, like I said, I rlly enjoy/love it) Sorry to my NSB enjoyers out there.

regarding NSB, yes it will probably go on hiatus when making this story bec writing is already kinda exhausting for me as well as editing and NSB has progressively became more and more story-driven than gameplay-driven, and especially after these three days, im kinda burnt out from NSB, i know i just left it off on a cliffhanger with the new baby, but to be honest, I don't wanna deal with another child, i barely get by dealing with the four, and dealing with toddlers> are so fucking annoying cuz of the Sim AI, which in and of itself is just demotivating, i do REALLY love not so berry, i love the story ive created with it, but i guess im just tired of playing the same generation for so long, not to mention the fact that i made it a rags to riches challenge, i know i didnt have to but i prefer to, and bc of that, i havent been able to properly decorate, and i dont really wanna go back on myself, if i decide to continue NSB, i will probably take the RTR rules away since its so annoying to deal with having like, 1000 simoleans all the damn time. Also, i've been planning what to do for generation 3 since catty gave birth, but i had to put NSB on a hiatus bc of a stupid glitch and was only recently able to start it up again, and I still havent moved onto the next gen. I kinda lost the plot with that rant, but basically, NSB will probably go on hiatus, regardless of the new story, I've been wanting to dwell more on Roo and his whole story and the people in his universe and after a bit, NSB has started to, as much as I love it and the storytelling and whatever, feel like a chore, which kinda hurts to say, but its true. Sorry to any of my not so berry enjoyers out there

#anyways my brain is ROTTING thinking about this story #obsessed and it has barely formed an existence LMFAO #as for the navi post ive also had a bit of a brain worm for it i just havent been able to start cuz of vday posts lmao #only prob with writing and staging a story is that i have tend to have very expansive ideas that are gna require so much time and energy #and im the typa person who wants to get it done in one sitting so ig doing this would mean being a lot more patient and slowing down #which go figure i probably wont be able to finish writing the story in one sitting lmao but considering me ill *want* to finish it in one #sitting #yapping

[mobumi]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, i started to write my answer and completely forgot about it. It's been in my drafts for months, i feel so bad omg! 😭 It was also really difficult to choose and i have only two female characters i am truly ashamed... But thank you very much for this ask, it was fun!

Here's my top 10! 😊

1. Mob/Kageyama Shigeo (Mob Psycho 100 - Anime)

I love him so much! I think he has the most wonderful character development in any anime i've watched! He has such a pure soul and compared to other shonen MCs, he just wants to be a normal teenager and be happy. So much growth and strength with this character, i love it! The series finale was incredible and I was so happy for my boy🥹

2. Megumi Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen - Anime)

I think he's an interesting character with so much potential for the future. I love the way he always appears reserved and cold but he's actually a softie on the inside and how his own sense of justice contrasts with Yuji. He's just a pretty cool character and stronger than he appears to be and he cares so much about his friends. Haven't read the manga but currently watching season 2 so I'm excited about what's in store for him!

3. Dream of the Endless (The Sandman - TV)

New favorite character alert!! Not a surprise 'cause my favorites are always the cold and broody ones tbh I just love how Dream is so imperfect and still learning and his whole vibe, the long black coat and the emo hair like he's in a indie rock band is just chef's kiss! Incredible character on the show, so charismatic and mesmerizing.

4. Five (The Umbrella Academy - TV)

At this point, there's a pattern here. Maybe it's because i'm an INTJ myself, but Five seems like he's very INTJ to me. It's just the whole attitude and the way he calculates and plans everything, very rational and precise, sarcastic and (though pretty mean sometimes), exactly how i like my characters! All his scenes are top tier and his power is very cool (not explored enough on the show unfortunately.)

5. Minho (The Maze Runner - Book series)

The sarcastic character? Asian as main? Hell yes! Finally more Asian representation and not stereotyped! The book series would have not been as good without him! I was pretty gutted when he was barely there in the Death Cure movie, but Ki Hong Lee was so great as Minho, he perfectly captured his smug and smartass attitude that I fell in love with. He's also very courageous and loyal to his friends which I love too. Overall a very cool character!

6. Deadpool/ Wade Wilson (Deadpool - Comics/Movies)

Deadpool is just Deadpool... Bro he's just vibing killing people or whatever. He's completely unhinged, crazy, over the top and just a fun ride. Pansexual king! What else can I say, he's just one of my favorite comic book characters ❤️

7. Miles Morales (Spiderman - Comics/Movies)

Another comic book character in my list. Miles is a cool addition to the Spiderverse and the movies they made are just INCREDIBLE! The animation, everything is top notch. Also Miles is very relatable and has an intesresting development. You get attached to him quickly and he's just so lovable, idk he's my son, i stan.

8. Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf - TV)

Honestly asfghjkl!! I've always loved this character, more so when i was a teenager watching Teen Wolf. Looking back now, the show was not that good but at the time I was pretty obsessed. Stiles was everything i loved about a character: funny, sarcastic, entertaining, likable... He made the show a lot better and kept me watching! He's low on this list only because i'm not into Teen Wolf as much as i was back in the day.

9. Sana Bakkoush (Skam - TV)

She's so cool?? I wish i had been like that when i was a teenager, well for the most part lol. I really like her unbothered attitude and her snarky comments. She is fierce, not afraid to say what she thinks and is loyal to her friends and trustworthy. She's a teenager who has still a lot to learn but she's already wise for her age and just a good character overall. I really like female characters who are confident and charismatic! Her season wasn't perfect, but for me she was the best character in the whole series 😊

10. Sidney Adamu (The Bear - TV)

She's last on the list mostly because she's a new favorite, but she's very cool. I can relate to her, she's fresh and real, she knows her worth, she's courageous, hard-working and just very lovable as a character! Sydney captivated me from the beginning and her scenes were always my favorites. Haven't finished season 2 yet but I can't wait to see where her character goes! ✨

#i probably forgot some but it was hard to only pick 10 #and wtf i don't have enough female characters on this list #i should make a list with my top 10 favorite female characters cause wth #shigeo kageyama #mob psycho 100 #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #dream of the endless #the sandman #five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #minho #minho tmr #the maze runner #wade wilson #deadpool #miles morales #spiderman #spiderman into the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #sana bakkoush #skam #sydney adamu #the bear

[canadiancryptid]

So, I did a poll like a month ago seeing if people wanted to know a little more about me, and then I forgot to actually do anything with it. Completely forgot what sort of things I was going to say but I have a couple things here.

9 People I'd Like to Know Better Game!

@msbadatnamingthings tagged me in a "get to know you better" game like 2 months ago that I kind forgot about. I had a few questions answered and then it just kinda got lost to the void of my drafts pile like so many other things. Sorry about that, but I'm remembering now!

last song: Deltarune the (not) Musical - The Field of Hopes and Dreams

favorite color: purple

last movie/last tv show: just finished The Ghost and Molly McGee :(

sweet/spicy/savory: savory

relationship status: single

last thing i googled: I think it was something about how the education system works in Minnesota. Trying to work on a fic around a certain character. Probably not hard to guess which one.

current obsession: Infinity Train never went away and likely never will, but I've recently been obsessing over Deltarune again

I also got a couple questions on the original poll from @keliana856! Finally getting to them! Whoo!

1: Lake and the entire concept of the Mirror World. The entire concept is so interesting to me, and I feel like it really doesn't get talked about enough. We get the basic premise of how it works in Book 1, but other than that, most of it is left unexplained. We learn some more from Lake when she's talking to the Flecs and answering some of Jesse's questions, but that's about it. We don't even know if the existence of the Mirror World is connected to the Train or not. Its such a cool concept and I love thinking about it.

Lake is my favorite character in the whole show, BY FAR. Her story is amazing, her dynamic with Jesse is incredible, and her introduction and entire first episode were one of the best things I've ever watched. I love thinking about her complicated relationship with Tulip and what might happen if they ever saw each other again. The finale of Book 2 was the first show that made me immediately want to go on Ao3 just to see more of her adapting to life on Earth. I already loved the show, but Lake and her story were what cemented it as my favorite show.

2: I've always been a fan of the supernatural. Fantasy, Modern Fantasy, mythology, and to some extent Sci-fi. (Still love it, just think I generally prefer the other stuff) It's a lot of fun to think about and see explored in fiction. I was a huge fan of mythology and Rick Riordan's books as a kid, so seeing Percy Jackson being adapted into a show has been AMAZING. The movies were frankly terrible, but that's a rant on its own. Outside of that, I like stories with a mystery to solve and twists that you COULD have seen coming with what was provided but probably didn't. It's fun seeing how communities can come together to find secrets and discuss things. Found Family is another one of my favorite themes. Not sure I need much of an explanation there. It's just an amazing trope to see.

When it comes to video games, I love RPGs, metroidvanias, platformers and puzzle games. I play a lot of different types of games, but those are my favorites. I don't talk about it much on here, but I'm a programmer. I'm still learning, but making games is my DREAM. There are so many ways to tell a story through the medium that you can't get anywhere else. The interactive nature of a game allows for so much exploration of the characters and world at large, and I love it. Rather than just watching the story play out on screen, you get to be a part of it. I love games that get a little meta. Games that make the player a part of the story like Oneshot, Deltarune and Undertale. I like games that take the established mechanics of a game and make it a part of the world. Underhero is a game that does this well. Pretty much every part of the game has some in-universe explanation as you progress through the amazing story. The game is incredibly underrated; I highly recommend it.

So, yeah. When it comes to games, I love stories that embrace their nature as a game and make it a part of the world. Video games are truly unique among storytelling mediums, and I love seeing it used as such. You don't really see any other mediums doing things like that, but it's always cool to see.

In no particular order, some of my favorite stories recently have been: Infinity Train, The Owl House, Steven Universe, Gwenpool, Nimona, Spy x Family, Spiderverse, Fionna and Cake, Oneshot, Undertale, Deltarune, Underhero, Epithet Erased, and the Percy Jackson series as a whole.

I think that's it for now. If anyone has anything else they'd like to hear me talk about, my ask box is always open!

#cryptid says stuff #long post #asks #I guess this is kind of an ask post #honestly my thoughts on a lot of these things could probably be entire posts on their own but that could be for another day #gonna try to get around to this sort of thing sooner #like hopefully within the same month that I say I will #the fic I mentioned in the original poll is still kinda in the works I haven't forogtten about that YET #actually the last thing I googled might have been 'how to get a cat off your lap without making them sad' cause I was doing some pet sittin

[manonamora-if]

A bit late since we are well into September already (I forgot it in my drafts...), but here is hopefully the release schedule of my ongoing projects.

Below the cut for further notes/explanation.

September

This month is just for finishing my IF Comp entry. As of today, there are about 2 weeks for me to finish and submit it. While the "public" (on itch) version won't be able until November, you can always play it (and be a judge! * ) during the judging period.

I'll be probably sleeping for like 2 days after that.

October

Whatever extra writing from MelS I get to (re-)code during that month, TTATEH will be released in October just in time for Halloween. It will most likely be only a partial demo (Prologue to Chapter 2) since MelS is busy again.

I will also add 3 more rounds to Exquisite Cadaver. I just need to write the endings for each round and code them. Expect the update in the first half of October.

I got a few issues with the MtP code raised, so I'm going to fix that (and add the new intro animation too... :P).

AND I WILL START WRITING CRWL AGAIN :D

November

If the writing goes well during October, the new Scene may get into Beta the second half of November.

During testing, I will try to add 3 more rounds of Exquisite Cadaver and pop out the sci-fi template that has been haunting me since last month :P

And The Thick Table Tavern will be released on Itch.

December

If the Beta gives me the green light, Scene 5 may be online by December (I would want it to be before the Holidays if I can manage).

And that month again, another 3 rounds for Exquisite Cadaver (which will make 18 total online).

I will probably post another Yearly (very long) Wrap up as well.

2023 Expectations

Like I have this year, I expect a lot of myself next year. I would want to complete Exquisite Cadaver (which should be doable in a rate of 3 rounds/months) and The Thick Table Tavern (I won't be able to add all NPCs I want). I also would love to finally resume working on SPS Iron Hammer and give it the ending(s) it deserves.

While it may be possible, I would want to close Act 1 of Crimson Rose & White Lily next year and start its next chapter. Depending on how busy I get, it could potentially be doable?

I've also been enjoying creating a bunch of templates and learning more on how to code with CSS/HTML. So my hope for 2023 is continue release templates. And maybe learning more JScript to make them more interactive... MAYBE.

Aside, from ALL OF THIS, I would want to participate in more competitions/jams. I've been learning a whole lot by creating smaller projects and they have really be helping my push myself to become a better creator. But that comes with a big caveat of: If I actually have time/the bandwith.

Notes

Of course, the schedule above is a rough guideline. Life may get in the way and make some release impossible. I still hope to achieve this, tho :P

*Please consider checking out and rating at least 5 other entries if you want to judge the competition so your review will be taken into account.

#schedule #projects #update

[3slimesinatrenchcoat]

as a chronic perfectionist, i’ve discovered the best writing tool: lying to myself. here’s how:

1. Make a list of what you want to write during today’s writing session. Break down short scenes into pomodoros if time thinks it’s funny to confuse you.

2. put the list to the side. you aren’t warmed up yet. you’ll come back to the list later.

3. set a 20 minute warmup timer. before you start it, go to stopwatch instead, and start that. warm up by free writing about anything that comes to your head.

4. write for 4 hours straight about your project as a “warmup freewrite,” look at the clock and realize you forgot to start the timer and it had been 4 hours and you need to stretch and hydrate.

5. you foolish fool. you just worked on your project on accident. guess you’ll have to scrap the planned scene list and come back to it later (but really just use it as a brainstorm reminder for a future “freewrite”).

6. find your pile of “freewrites” months later and organize them into a semblance of a story. fill gaps with whatever scenes or scene plans you can think of.

7. congrats. you’ve finished your first draft. it’s a complete mess, but you did it and it’s on paper. you can do whatever you want with it now, because been removed from your head. 😈

8. keep it. trash it. rewrite it all, but better. don’t rewrite anything ever again. scrap the whole plan and rewrite it anyways, but completely different. make it longer. cut the rambles. kill a character you hate and bring them back again after realizing they are just a silly little guy that is apparently essentially to the plot.

Taking my writing less seriously and just letting it be a thing i do, without planning or stress, has been a big part of my writing journey.

how do you fight perfectionism in your writing?

#writing #writers on tumblr #writer things #writblr #procrastination #perfectionism #writing tips

[beatriceeagle]

11, 5, 29

5 - What work got more feedback than you expected?

Gonna list two here, because my immediate answer was Mastermind, which is a Dimension 20 vid that I kind of expected not to get much attention, but which has gotten tons of views and comments, and seems to have really connected with a lot of D20 fans.

But in terms of fics, definitely Seven Days on Starbase Twelve. I didn't imagine that there would be a ton of audience for my one-shot fic about a canonically doomed couple on Strange New Worlds, but boy, some other people feel some feelings about those two.

11 - What work took you the longest to write?

A solid year and a half passed between the first words I wrote on this year's love and the final draft. Even when I started working on it in earnest, it was several months of work that I completed in two separate spells a month or so apart.

29 - Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Almost certainly something from a white and soundless place, and honestly it's hard to narrow it down more than that, because I really love that fic—I think it did absolutely everything I wanted to do, and it did it well. I literally had one passage copy-pasted here, was about to click post, and then second-guessed myself. And then did it again.

But I think I'm going to go with this one:

Una was a well-behaved child, but she had her moments of failure like any person. When she was fourteen, she stole a book from her mother. It was not, she reasoned, truly stealing; the book lived on a shelf in her own home, and Una had every intention of returning it when she was finished. But it was a book her mother had forbidden her to touch, for, oh, for many reasons. Because it was a little bit racy, certainly, but probably also because it was the first book Mother had been able to afford in two years, and Una was a clumsy child. Una secreted the book off the shelf and carried it with her to school to read under her desk. On the way home, reading as she walked, she dropped it in a puddle. She never forgot Mother’s face when she saw the warped pages and blurry print. Mother knew exactly why Una had done what she did, had probably felt that same insatiable thirst for words her whole life, and yet she looked so hurt. So betrayed. And that was only a book.

I like this passage because I always like it when I can make a scene do more than one thing, and this passage does a lot of things. It establishes Una's love of books and stories; it establishes her family's poverty; it deepens Una's relationship with her mother, which is very important to the fic; it carries the theme; it establishes, without directly saying it, how Una feels about what Bren did. I also like it because I think it reflects Una's narrative voice well, and because it's a little bit subtle.

[fic writer ask game]

#thanks for asking! #ask game #fic

[marvellousstawler]

So, months ago, I found my old writing, wrote a post after getting inspired, forgot that I had saved the draft of that post, found the same old writing again (having forgotten that I had found it earlier in the year), got inspired by it again, went to write a new post about it, and found the draft of the old post. Thanks amnesia!

Thus, instead of posting a journal this week because I haven't written it yet and don't really want to do it this evening on account of being inspired, you're getting this draft I made from literally several months ago that I never actually posted. Enjoy?

Oh wait no. Holy crap, I just reread this post before posting it and realised it was a completely different draft from months ago, after getting inspired by my old writing, that I never actually posted. So maybe you'll get that one next week or maybe you'll get it another time anyway who cares read my drivel.

---

So. I found my old writing!

I say “old.” It’s probably from about three or four years ago, I definitely remember showing it to some people at Uni. And I say “found,” I opened my backup folder on my Google Drive. But! The improvement in my understanding of writing and story construction (as well as my capacity to set achievable goals) is so noticeable, that it *feels* old.

As such I spent most of my workday yesterday checking out my old writing on company time. Most people who do this go off about how their writing is “cringe,” but my writing isn’t yet old enough to have achieved cringe. (And the stuff that would be old enough was all lost in the iPad Pages Purge Of ‘16, RIP). But no, in my case, the worst thing I can say about my writing was that it was boring and uninspired. Most of it was more telling than showing because I had SO much to cover, because I started with way too much on my plate.

But beneath the boring stuff there were some genuinely inspiring concepts buried in there, which is good, because the work I’m currently doing is built on the corpse’s corpse’s corpse of a story that started when I was 12. Nisa, my current antagonist, is an explicitly Mary-Sue villain built from my unwittingly Mary-Sue protagonist from back in the day. Typically the compelling stuff is not about Nisa, in fact most of the stuff from the backup folder that could feasibly called cringe is about her. I still wasn’t fully comfortable being gay, so nearly every chapter is someone else talking about how great Nisa is, while still having this half-hearted “but she’s like, still really clumsy and stupid ok” air about it.

But!! It was the chapters who weren’t about Nisa at all who had the interesting concepts in them. Most notably, I had a prequel for a pair of “reformed villains” (they were just heroes the whole time because I don’t know how to not make everyone a protagonist), and in this prequel, Sorrel (who you will recognise as a protagonist for the current prologue when TDD actually gets posted) has been dead for nine years before coming back to life because of primordial god shenanigans. She died a martyr, having left a set of instructions for how to build a government for her murderer to follow and ratify out of guilt (i don’t have time to explain the context and it was never concrete, but it did make a modicum of sense at the time). When she revives, the country she left behind HAS been rebuilt, but clearly her brutish murderer fudged the instructions. And is also nowhere to be found, which is important because she was supposed to be running the place.

And that’s a cool concept! Showing up and realising that while you’ve been gone the political and social structure of the world you left behind is BONKERS. And the good news is, I have an organic way to introduce it into TDD. Nisa and She-Bear spend like 20 years being trapped in a moon and holding the moon together respectively, meaning that when the pressure builds and the moon explodes (they’ll be fine) they’ll be yeeted onto a planet they used to lead which now has like, shopping malls and toll roads.

I accidentally typed “shopping mauls” initially and that is an idea that people are welcome to take further.

#drivel #writing #writeblr #creative writing #marvomakesathing #old writing #inspiration #whoops #writing progress #progress

[littlemisspascal]

Mailroom Crush

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word Count: 2800+

Summary:  A short little fic about Reader who works in the mailroom of the embassy and her encounters with a handsome, brown-eyed DEA agent.

Warnings: Language, fluff, inaccurate depiction of how an embassy mailroom works, smoking, this is only loosely based on canon of Season 3 shortly after Javier arrives so the timeline does not match the show’s, Stechner being a creep

Author Note: I’ve had this in my drafts for months as a little wip side project and it’s not very good because Javier is an amazingly detailed character who I don’t have the right skills to capture the proper way he deserves to be, but I didn’t want to delete this either so...Yeah, it is what it is. Fingers crossed someone out there enjoys it 🤞😊

Part 2

The fan on your desk is on its highest setting, humming loudly as it blasts cool air at your face. Still, you feel sweat beading all along your forehead as well as the back of your neck, and you silently curse the embassy’s air conditioning system for malfunctioning in the middle of a heatwave. 

An envelope falls on your desk, the 56th one you’ve seen today thus far. The man who dropped it looks irritated, which is an expression commonly seen around here. His mustache is dark and neatly trimmed, you can’t help but notice. His hands rest on his hips beneath his navy suit jacket, giving him an aura of authority despite his lack of an ID badge. 

“Get this mailed today,” he says, tone leaving no room for arguing. 

You pick up the letter, noting the Texas address. “Of course, I will—”

The mustached man is exiting the mailroom before you can even finish your sentence. You’d call his behavior rude if it wasn't also commonplace around here.

~~

The embassy almost seems to transform at night. The lights are dim and the cleaning crew are the only living souls roaming the hallways. It’s oddly peaceful in an eerie sort of way, so you don’t mind working late shifts. You spend the long hours preparing packages for outgoing shipment the following morning, wrapping any fragile objects in bubble wrap and double-checking that each of their labels are correct. You’re in the middle of typing data into the computer when a throat clears behind you, announcing someone’s presence.

It’s the same mustached man from earlier in the week. This time he has discarded his suit jacket and rolled the sleeves of his white dress shirt up to his elbows, revealing toned arms. You blink at him over the top of the computer, wondering why he has interrupted your work.

“Can I help you?” you ask.

“I forgot I was expecting a package today,” the man says. He sounds tired, brown hair rumpled like he’s been running his hands through it multiple times throughout the day. You weren’t here for the day shift, but you know where all the undelivered mail goes so you point him towards the organizer that takes up one whole wall of the mailroom. He dips his head at you, the briefest of nods, before going to collect his package from his personal slot on one of the lower rows.

He leaves a moment later, silence filling the space once more.

~~

Your mail cart is knocked over during your afternoon delivery run. The offender, an agent named Feistl who often swings by the mailroom to drop off letters and presents to be sent back to his family in the States, doesn’t stick around to help clean up the mess of scattered envelopes, saying, “Sorry, I’ve got an important meeting with Intel.”

You bite back the retort on the tip of your tongue. Most people think your job is at the bottom of the career ladder, but they don’t realize the various tasks you have to complete day after day. You have to sort through hundreds of letters and packages. You have to track down recipients if their items are priority stamped, thus needing to be urgently delivered as soon as possible. You’re responsible for all outgoing mail, choosing the best method of shipment and making arrangements. What is most challenging though, is you have to deal with dozens of personality types ranging from appreciative to downright hateful. People get angry if their mail doesn’t arrive by the expected date, if the contents of their package are broken upon arrival, and/or if they aren’t at their desks when you make your rounds, forcing them to come by the mailroom to check their slot. More often than not, they blame you for the aforementioned issues, despite the fact you have no control over any of those things.

“I’ve got it. It’s fine,” you say to Feistl’s departing backside. 

You’re in the middle of picking up the envelopes when dark brown boots, black socks, and charcoal gray pants enter your field of view. Glancing up, you immediately recognize the face staring back at you. It’s the mystery man you keep encountering, carrying a stack of manila folders in one hand. 

You’d started your job over a month ago, yet you can’t recall ever personally handing him anything. Either he’s new around here, you think, or he’s one of those rare individuals who only receives mail once every blue moon. 

He glances at his watch, gaze flicking between you, still kneeling on the floor, and the time it displays, expression torn.

“I’ve got it. It’s fine,” you say, repeating yourself. And you actually mean it because he looks like he genuinely wants to help but cannot spare the extra minute. 

Shooting you an apologetic grimace, he steps around you and the mess, careful not to step on any of the letters, and disappears into one of the offices at the other end of the hall.

~~

You awkwardly cradle a bundle of red roses in the nook of your elbow, careful not to damage them as you head towards the elevator. The flowers are for Ambassador Crosby’s secretary, Eileen, whose desk is right outside his office. They were sent to her by her fiancé with a note attached referencing their second anniversary. 

When the elevator doors open, you receive a couple of double-takes from the people brushing past you as they exit. The attention makes your shoulders want to hunch up to your ears, but you don’t want the movement to disrupt the roses so you force yourself to remain still until you step into the elevator’s cabin alongside three other personnel. 

You don’t notice that one of them is the mystery man until he says something to you.

“Those from your significant other or is there a little office romance going on?”

There’s a hint of a smirk playing on his lips when you turn to him. They’re a soft shade of pink, but your mind is too busy trying to unravel his strange question to give that specific detail any more attention. 

“They’re for Eileen,” you answer. Your other hand points at the note wrapped around the bottom of the bundle. He reaches out with deft fingers to twist the paper in his direction, reading the message for himself. 

He then winks at you, so quick you’re uncertain you actually witnessed it. “Even better,” he says. Dazed and confused, you fail to realize the opening of the elevator’s doors until he’s smoothly slipping past you as he departs.

Belatedly it occurs to you he had been asking if the roses were meant for you. This new context in combination with his wink has your heart fluttering inside your chest, aroused with curiosity.

The rest of your shift you wonder how long it will be until your paths cross again. 

~~

From your desk in the mailroom, if the door is open, you have a pretty wide view of the hallway and the office cubicles on the other side. When it’s your lunch break you like to people-watch, knowing you’re safe to do so because you’re invisible to the majority of embassy staff. Your fellow mail clerks think your hobby is weird, teasing you about it every time they leave you behind to go out to eat a meal for lunch. But you’ve seen some pretty interesting sights if you’re being honest.

Today, for instance, you watch as Feistl’s partner, Van Ness, models a fanny pack while trying to convince a cackling Feistl that it can hold everything valuable he needs for an undercover op, aside from his gun. The two are such total contrasts in both looks and personalities, you wonder how they manage to be such an effective team.

The sound of two men engaged in a heated discussion verging on a full blown argument hits your ears before you actually see either of them. The mystery man passes in front of your doorway first, walking backwards with a ticked off expression on his face clearly directed at the other male.

“You think I don’t know what kind of bullshit lies you’ve been spreading?” he demands as his verbal sparring opponent comes into view. You’ve seen the bearded man skulking around the offices before, watching the goings-on with beady, rodent-like eyes. “Go fuck yourself, Stechner.”

Without waiting for a response, the mystery man swivels around to face forward, completely overlooking you as everyone else does, and stalks away, footsteps echoing off the tiled floor.

You turn to your forgotten salad, picking the fork back up to stab a cherry tomato and pop it into your mouth. 

Interesting sights you’ve seen, indeed.

~~

You have to make a run to a store down the street for extra supplies for the mailroom, and when you return you see the mystery man standing on the front steps of the embassy. There’s a cigarette dangling from his lips, head tilted back as he stares up at the cloudless sky. As you pass by him, he nods in acknowledgment, but when his mouth opens it lets out smoke instead of words. 

~~

You’re surprised to see the mystery man the following day when you arrive at the embassy just before dawn. There are dark bags beneath his eyes and he exudes an aura of disgruntled moodiness, but he politely holds the door open for you nevertheless. Part of you swears you feel a feather-light touch of a hand press against the small of your back, but you tell yourself you’re just imagining things.

~~

You’re in the middle of taping shut your fifth box of the evening when the mystery man enters the mailroom, distinguishing this as the third day in a row you’ve encountered him in some capacity.

“Good evening,” you say when he continues to hover in the doorway. “Forget another package?”

His head tilts, raising an eyebrow. “Am I really that memorable?” He’s smirking again, revealing what is perhaps the cutest dimple you’ve ever seen in one of his cheeks.

You keep your expression professionally neutral, remembering you’re on shift at the moment. “If that is not what brought you here, is there anything else I can help you with? Do you need to mail something for tomorrow?”

He blinks at you, smirk fading. “No, I…” he cuts himself off, holding up a television remote you hadn’t initially noticed was in his grip. “You got any spare batteries?”

It’s your turn to raise an eyebrow, frowning as you wonder, “You came here for batteries?”

“You’ve seen this place, right? It’s a fucking ghost town,” he says, gesturing over his shoulder towards the dark hallway. “I figured I’d take my chances and see if you were here tonight. Looks like I got lucky.”

It takes all your self-control not to fidget. “Oh.” You set the tape down and move to check the contents of your desk, well-aware of his gaze following after you. You miraculously find an unopened pack of AA batteries in the back corner of your junk drawer. “Here you go.”

The man draws closer to take the proffered item from your hand. If you didn’t know better, you’d almost think he let his fingertips brush against yours on purpose.

“What were you watching?” you blurt out unthinkingly, then inwardly curse yourself for being so nosy. 

“Bribed officials lying about their involvement with the cartel. Same old, same old.” He cracks a wry grin, attempting a joke as he adds, “Better entertainment than anything on cable though, yeah?” 

You straighten, opinion of his suited appearance changing in light of the cartel reference. “Are you a DEA agent?”

The mystery man’s brow creases as you return to your workstation to finish your abandoned task. “That’s right. You didn’t know that already?”

You’d feel insulted if you didn’t hear how genuinely surprised he sounds at your ignorance. “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry to cut this conversation short, but I have a lot of work that still needs to be done before the morning.”

“Right. I understand,” he says easily. “Thanks again for the batteries.” He presses the remote to his temple, saluting you before he leaves the room. 

The mystery man is different from the other DEA agents you’ve encountered. He’s older, for starters, but more than that there’s this...burden of weariness weighing on him. Like he’s seen horrors none of them could possibly fathom witnessing. You think of the dimple you saw and wonder how many others in the building, if any, could claim they’d ever seen it too. 

~~

Now that you know the mystery man is a DEA agent you keep your eyes peeled for him as you make your rounds, but not once do you glimpse anyone with a mustache or tousled brown hair matching his. However, you do discover the gray-headed, bearded man he’d been arguing with—Stechner, you recall—loitering inside the mailroom by your desk when you return.

“Relax, honey, I’m just borrowing your pen,” he claims, holding up said utensil before scribbling down a short message on a scrap of paper. “I’m leaving a note for a friend of mine.”

You hide your disgust at his use of a pet name, watching as he walks over to the organizer and places the note inside one of the slots. Before he leaves, Stechner gives your body an obvious once-over, prompting you to cross your arms over your chest defensively. 

“Pig,” you mutter, uncaring if he hears you.

At the end of your shift, no one has come by to claim the note. Curious, you peek at the nameplate on the slot before you leave. 

Javier Peña, it reads.

~~

Riley, one of your coworkers who is inherently nosy about everyone else’s personal lives, tells you a man had swung by the mailroom looking for you while you were out delivering a package. She describes him as ruggedly handsome and undoubtedly a good lay which immediately brings to mind the mystery man, much to your embarrassment. You highly doubt it was him though. There’s no logical reason for him to come find you specifically.

You return to your workstation to continue sorting through the bags of afternoon mail, pushing Riley’s words out of your head. Whoever it was that visited is gone now, anyways. Clearly whatever they had to say to you wasn’t important or else they would have waited for your return. 

An hour later your attention is pulled away from your task by approaching footsteps, and you look up to lock eyes with the mystery man’s brown ones as he stops in front of you. He’s dressed surprisingly casual, leather jacket and jeans rather than suit and tie. Sunglasses hang from the collar of his shirt which is unbuttoned enough for your eyes to feast upon the smooth tanned skin of his neck and upper chest. You avert your gaze quickly before you start drooling.

You notice Riley is grinning like a thirteen-year-old reading their first romance novel. Withholding a sigh, you look back to the man, relieved to see he doesn’t seem to have noticed your ogling. Instead, he seems oddly unsettled, fingers fidgeting at his sides.

“You’re back,” he says needlessly. “I came by earlier, but your friend over there said you had stepped out. I was afraid I’d miss seeing you today.”

“Nope, here I am,” you say, then immediately want to slap yourself for how dopey you sound. 

Fortunately, his brown eyes remain judgement-free as his stance shifts subtly, like he’s trying to carve out a private space for the two of you in the mailroom with his broad shoulders. “I heard about Stechner coming in here, leaving that damn little note in my slot. I don’t give a shit about his attempts at pissing me off, but he shouldn’t have bothered you. If he made you uncomfortable in any way, I swear I’ll—”

The sound of plastic clattering as it hits the floor startles the both of you. He whirls around, enabling you to see Riley making an apologetic face as she picks up the dropped tape dispenser.

You realize then the man was about to offer to defend your honor. He scratches awkwardly at his cheek, looking flustered at the interruption. As strange as it may sound, you find yourself more smitten by this version of him than the confident flirt who’d winked at you in the elevator.

Feeling a wave of boldness wash over you, you make a show of looking him up and down with a raised eyebrow. “So if the note was for you, I suppose that means you’re Javier Peña?”

He smiles, the appearance of that precious dimple setting your heart aflame, and holds out his hand for you to shake. There is a small, circular tattoo in between his thumb and index finger. It looks like a target, you think, then wonder if you’ll ever be lucky enough to learn the story behind it.

“I guess we haven’t really introduced ourselves yet, huh,” he says. “Call me Javi.”

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#Javier peña #javier peña x you #pedrostories #narcos fanfiction #my fic #my writing #javier pena x you #javier pena fanfic #javier pena x reader

[hockeyshitandstuff]

Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 1)

part two here

part three here

word count: 1860 words

TW: language, angst (?)

let me know if you want part two, I’m somehow still not sure

...

It was so hot that day. The movers were already gone, the place feeling empty without all the furniture. In a few hours, you'd be long gone, flying far away from Chesterfield.

Some small part of you felt sorry for selling your parents' house - the house you spent your whole childhood living in. But they moved out a few years ago and told you many times they didn't mind at all selling it.

Wiping the sweat off of your eyebrows you made your way through the blooming garden, trying to memorize every little detail. You remembered climbing this tree, you remembered the hole in the fence you made so the neighbour's dog could come play with you, you remembered the time capsule you and Matt buried here when you were fifteen.

Until now, you completely forgot about that. Even though you two didn't talk after he got drafted, it'd be a good idea to meet again since you might never see him again. You might be moving to Calgary but that city was so big it'd be a miracle to meet Matthew somewhere.

So you scrolled through your phone, praying he didn't change his number after all those years as you dialed it.

The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.

"Yes?"

Matthew's voice was so different since the last time you talked.

"Hey Matt, this is Y/N, I'm moving out today and I thought we could dig up the time capsule we buried at my place as kids before I leave. Are you in town?" It was off-season so you might get lucky.

"You are moving out already? But yeah, I can meet you in an hour if you have the time."

"Yes, I'll still be here, don't worry."

"Okay..." There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of you knew how to break it. Was it a bad idea? Of course you wouldn't be as good friends as you once were. But you didn't know it would be this... weird. He didn't say goodbye back when he left to Calgary and didn't answer to any of your calls or messages. What were you thinking? That he wanted to see you?

"So, where are you moving to?" Matt finally continued, making the conversation more bareable.

"Calgary, they offered me an amazing job there."

"Really? I've been there for a few years."

"I heard." Not from you, was what you didn't say. It seemed like he'd heard it nonetheless.

Silence. You hated how distant you've grown - once, a long time ago, you were best friends. You went together to kindergarden and since then you've been the best of best friends. But even after all you went through, you didn't know what to say.

"Nevermind, I have to get going. I'll be at your place at three, okay?"

"Okay. I'll meet you there."

As you hung up, sadness enveloped you. Maybe you shouldn't have called. Maybe it'd be better to never meet Matt again, to remember only the good old times.

But he might be already on his way and you wanted to say a proper goodbye before going far, far away.

You loved him once, you recalled. It broke your heart when he left without looking back.

It irritated you that you couldn't do the same as easily.

...

"Y/N?" a now familiar voice called, the sound of closing car doors echoing through the silent street.

Matt looked same as he did four years ago and still totally different. It was like staring at a stranger you could swear you've already seen before. The curly, those pretty grey-blue eyes and the crooked smile you remembered and thought about too often. He got taller and more mascular over the time he played hockey professionally.

"Hey," you said nervously, tucking your slightly trembling hands into the pockets of your shorts.

Again, that uncomfortable silence took place.

"How long is it?" Since you've last seen each other. Since he'd ignored your calls and messages. Since he'd left you crying as he left this town - as he left you.

"Five years," you said.

Regret flashed in those pretty eyes as he took you in. Did you look to him the same as you did the last time he saw you?

"I'm sorry I didn't call." That was it? After five fucking years of silence, this was his apology for everything. This was a mistake. You didn't think it through when you called him today. Just now you started remembering all the things he's done to you.

"That doesn't make it hurt less, does it?" You whipped around, going to the line of fruit trees where you left the two shovels you borrowed from the neighbour.

Matt's hand slightly gripped your elbow, stopping you in your tracks.

"I know that I made a bunch of wrong decisions before I left."

"I've been trying for 6 months to reach you before giving up completely. And you? You've been living the best version of your life anyone could ever imagine."

"That's not true and you know it." Matthew said and you wanted to leave right then, forget this stupid meeting.

"I do not." you hissed, trying to calm down your rising temper.

Matt sighed, not wanting to argue over this. So he made his way to the tree line, picked one shovel from the ground and started digging where he remembered the time capsule was.

You didn't help him dig it up. You were too lost in memories, clinging to the past as you thought of younger version of Matt.

The clang of metal on metal attracted your attention back to him. He grunted as he pulled up the metal box and laid it on the grass.

You ducked low next to him, dusting off the dirt of the box. It was an old, weirdly dented thing.  Your eyes laid on the lock and you nearly sighed in annoyance just when Matt grabbed at his necklace, the key dangling from it. When you two buried the capsule, each of you got a key made for it. You had yours somewhere in the boxes that had already been shipped to your new apartment and Matt's... he didn't forget. He kept it through the years, guarding it and not losing it as you expected.

You didn't say anything, just patiently waited for him to open the box.

There was a letter inside, along with a bunch of things you thought of as long forgotten. Your bracelets of friendship, the colors faded already; a puck with which you and Matthew played your first hockey game together when you were six; so many polaroid photos with your faces on them; USB with a playlist you two always danced to.

Your eyes watered - how were you supposed to say goodbye to all of this?

Silently, you looked over all of the photos - you and Matt in the rink with small hockey sticks and skates, you and Matt sticking out your tongues colored blue with slushies, you and Matt, you and Matt, you and Matt...

Then Matthew's hand found yours, your fingers automatically intertwining with his. You started crying, first silently but then the sobs shook with your whole body.

"Come here," he murmured, hugging you. His body was so soft and warm, as if begging you to lean into his touch.

"How- how could you leave this all behind?" you mumbled between the sobs.

"It's not leaving if you don't say goodbye." Matt said, his fingers playing with yours.

"Then you are a fucking coward, Matthew."

Silence. He didn't argue with you on that, so you must have been right.

You stopped crying after a while, checking your watch while wiping your nose.

Shit. It was so late already - you had to call an uber to get you to the airport in the next hour or you'd be super late.

"I'll have to go," you said quietly, but Matt interrupted you.

"You are right," he tucked on the edge of his shirt, clearly nervous. He was nervous. "I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't say goodbye to you as I left, it'd hurt less. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward for not picking up your calls or replying to your messages because it would make it so real - that I was leaving and probably never coming back. But I want to make it all right again, I want to be a part of your life - if you will let me."

You thought about his offer and still, you couldn't answer. You weren't sure about letting him into your heart just for him to storm out again without a goodbye, leaving you behind, broken.

"Can I at least take you to the airport?" To that, you nodded, picking up the time capsule, putting all the items back in. Then you gave back the lent shovels to your neighbour and with a last glance at your house, you got into Matt's car.

...

On the way to the airport Matt played the playlist from the USB that was in the time capsule and the nostalgy hit you hard.

You remembered the lyrics, the melody; you remembered everything.

The drive was too short and you started panicking as the engine stopped.

Matthew helped you with your suitcase and went inside with you. The two of you stopped at the first gate.

"Here," he said, giving you a piece of paper. "It's my adress. Hopefully, you won't live so far away, so we could meet there if you wanted to."

You tucked it in your pocket without a word.

"Also, take this. I wrote it in ninth grade so don't think much of it. But I want you to read it, Y/N."

It was the letter from the time capsule, with your name on the blank envelope.

"I will." you promised.

The silence that followed wasn't awkward this time.

"I'll let you know my decision about what you said earlier. I just... I need some time."

Matt noded, giving you the space you so desperately needed.

"So, until we meet again - goodbye, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Matt."

...

The plane took off and you finally had the time to read the letter he gave you.

You immediately recognised his scrambled handwriting and you smiled at how messy it was before you started reading.

Dear Y/N,

I'm writing this in case I leave. Dad has been telling me for some time already that if I'll get drafted, I'll have to leave. He also said that if I'll be smart, I will never look back at my past.

I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future.

He said I'll meet a lot of girls but I know that none of them is going to be like you.

So, I promise you, I will never say goodbye to you.

I love you,

Matt

With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone, the tears already staining the screen.

That's why he never said goodbye. Because of this stupid letter and his stupid promise.

The phone rang once before he picked it up.

"Y/N? What is it?"

A ragged breath escaped you and you laughed and cried at the same time.

"I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future."

"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it-"

"No, you dumbass. That's my answer."

#nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl story #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey imagines #hockey #hockey fanfiction #hockey imagine #matt tkachuk #calgary flames #nhl blurb #nhl one shot #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk #matty tkachuk #matthew tkachuk oneshot

[kalims]

I FORGOT TO SPECIFY THE CHILDE X DEVIL HUNTER but yes relationship hcs!! he would be pretty protective methinks

✉ ⋮ this has been on my drafts for like a month and I'm so sorry 😭 also during that time I literally finished chainsaw man and in the middle of reading I was like... wtf they actually died...

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

fluff, death.

actually very balanced, if you're either quiet and composed or easy going and talkative nothing's really gonna change, childe's gonna end up balancing your personality with his. eventually being able to let you become comfortable enough in his presence because I'd personally think that he's quite the gentleman, an airhead but he's thoughtful.

he's obsessed with the thought of protecting you, nothing creepy or something like that but there's this thrill that he finds exhilarating about keeping you protected in his arms while he fights the impeccable danger.

In a way he views it as a little fairytail, a strong warrior protecting his cute spouse.

speaking of, both of you somehow exclude the aura of literal power. It's quite terrifying to experience it first hand, with his reputation along with the chilling rumors. There's no doubt that some people are terrified of childe, now combined with him oozing out authority? scary.

now now, childe isn't against the idea of two sparring lovers. with him constantly seeking out strong fighters to challenge his power it's only in due time before he asks you to fight him. to him, it's quite romantic for a couple to engage in a friendly spar.

since he's a harbinger, he's a formidable opponent. quick on his feat but reckless, the trait would be an opening but his brute force and concentration is something to reckon with.

but since practically no one in tevyat has seen humans/devil hunters with contracts or even know of them at all, he's bound to be taken off guard by the large being that suddenly appeared out of seemingly nowhere. staring at him with intimidating eyes.

his first instict was to assume that this bigass snake was trying to consume you whole so he starts shouting in alarm, he's confused when you calm him down with a deadpan.

NOW, he's more willing to fight you seriously knowing that you're perfectly able to fend out for yourself and even defeat him but he hasn't thought of that because he's in denial. 👻

upset by the fact that you merely fight him with no vision nor powers whatsoever. tartaglia constantly pesters you to use or, summon the weird snake again but you always wave him off with a grim look. though and peeved by the fast denial, he knows that secrets are trifling matters. so he knows where you draw a line.

you'd think that he'll be the one protecting you but it's actually the other way around, protective devil hunter reader?? ☺️😚

basically, both of y'all are willing to do things that are way out of your comfort zones to prevent the other from harm's way and thus this is the pillar that holds the relationship as a somewhat healthy one.

thinks very hard 💡

since both of your occupations(?) are dangerous ones that require a lot of time, it's probably a rare occurrence to stay together for more than two or three hours. this challenges the relationship, will both of you stay together with minimum contact or leave? that's basically up to you and your character!

honestly just depends, you're already with him. you know the consequences but you still stayed with him so you're stuck with him bitch.

oh well, as a harbinger the constant demands of the tsaritsa are no matter to ignore. as much as you dislike it, he's pledged himself to her. the only way you'll be someone that he puts above the tsaritsa is when he's absolutely sure that he wants to spend the rest of his (depressing) life with.

and you, you're a devil hunter that's also occupied with the matters of your mysterious job. with the people of tevyat knowing not a lot of stuff about devils, it's completely also up to you to let them be or exterminate the devils yourself. swallows some random devil with ur huge snake

while we're on that topic, he's albeit worried and a little curious when you come home, deep in the night with bandages wrapped around your hand, sometimes even random body parts.

^ he doesn't know how to react when you admit the details of the 'contract'. when you brought up contracts, he assumed you were some kind of merchant from liyue but the fact that you're wearing a suit doesn't add up. once he questioned you and the only reply he got was "dress code."

unfortunately, there will be a time where the tsaritsa eventually hears word about a mysterious traveler with the power to summon a 'monster entity' as they put it. so if you were unable to make yourself special to him. he will spill out everything needed, he'd leave out a few details but it's pretty much the origins and stuff.

butttt otherwise, he'll try to cover up for you as much as he can. to him it'll always be 'family over duty'.

oh boy, when he finally gets to see you in action? hoo boy, you gained his respect! childe finds it attractive that you can defeat a hoard of treasure hoarders from combat experience alone, according to you. a small percentage of the public safety don't have contracts, some being contracts useless in combat.

plus, the price was really painful. you didn't want your literal finger nails being taken away again. but you're a little weirded out about it having some kind of favoritism to nails. oh well, you're used to it already. devils were unpredictable.

pda doesn't really matter, you're fine with anything since if someone wanted to call you out or something, a sharp glance to their way already has them silenced. tartaglia however is quite... shameless, as a harbinger he's got high authority. a smart person wouldn't really dare to try and criticize anything about the two of you. it's yours and his business alone.

he surprisingly gets used to the snake, with my limited knowledge of contracts let's say summoning them technically doesn't count as using their power so there's no price needed. most of the time you just summon the snake to intimidate the opposing party.

mf be so friendly with the devil while it just ignores him 😭

idk man, I already forgot a few details 🧍🏾‍♀️

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin headcanons #childe x reader #childe #tartaglia x reader #tartgalia #ajax x reader #ajax #csm #chainsaw kan

[tigerlyla-of-metinna]

My Last Post: The Anon Harasser

This is going to be a long one. I may be losing followers for this: I no longer care and Im out of fcks to give. I will stick to posting my Nilfgaardian content and ignore this person who has blatantly called me out BY NAME several times, which is very rude. I’ve ignored this person for several months then bam! I see my name again on their latest post. I wont stoop to that level and instead say that this persons’ name sounds like “sand-in-my- shorts” (insert StarWars joke). 

Unlike Sandy (not real name), I will blot out their name and face. If anyone recognize you, Sandy, well, you've made yourself infamous with your well documented MO, and posting them with your face as the background. (Translation is done through an image to text translator so I included the original text)

I also do not appreciate insulting followers, calling them “minions” or “fools”, and I’m not the only content creator whom you also called a fool and their followers fools. I had hoped that after blocking you for your passive aggressiveness and telling you to move on and leave me alone, you’d move on and leave me alone! Instead, you fixated on me and send me hostile anon msgs. Either you or your pack of hyenas.  But apparently, you get off from posting venom about me and others. And then I receive the latest post on your page with all the usual lies. Since you’re hell-bent on besmirching my name, let’s go over the  post of me on your TUMBLR:

1. There it is, another name drop. I was in IG first before you and being new to how IG works, I liked a lot of post, including this “another person” you mentioned whom I have no idea you had problems with. I was with the rest who tried lifting your spirits. Turns out, this person was right in calling you toxic. But I stayed nevertheless because of our mutual support for Nilfgaard.

2.Ignored “really good post” is subjective and depends on the viewer. I liked some of your post and it’s my right to exercise liking any post. Promoted even some of them in the stories. Just because we both like Nilfgaard  doesn’t mean I will blindly like everything you put out there. You also did not liked some of my post and I did not raise a stink about it. Your “daughter OC” replaced Ciri completely that Emhyr forgot about her, is a whole new universe that doesn’t sit right by me so I chose to withheld liking it. Other than that, some were good.

3. That was not a discussion: the thread was becoming long with your opinion that the ship has no future, to which I reply that Im not making a fic about this nor do I have time to worry about every rarepair in the fandom that goes against my corner of the fandom multiverse -which Ciri and Morvran are together and your OCs do not exist: only in your corner of the multiverse. Still you wont stop, so I had to close the topic with this reply (reader, pay attention to the final sentence.)

As to why I blocked? Remember this under the old name of your account? See the lifted last sentence?

4. This was a team effort, with me coming up with the writing of the announcement, assigning who posts whom: I even have the final draft saved on MS WORD. So this was not planned by one person. As for partner relation, I was relatively new to IG and no idea how to partner up with anyone. It was after the parting of ways that I learned how to partner with fellow creators.

5. I have been making screenshots of my PS4 gameplay using the share button. And because its a PS4, I have no mods to undress characters. The naked Emhyrs and Morvrans were sent to me by the pc masterace which I use to polish my rough photoshopping skills. Our post never looked the same: you have seen my naked Emhyrs and half naked Morvrans (because you never stopped vagueblogging about them). Undressing W3 characters is not a unique idea nor it became a trend. Fan arts and screenshots of naked Emhyr and Morvran were already here on Tumblr and I wanted to contribute to that small pool. I’ve been on Tumblr longer (I’m a returnee) than I’ve been on IG and I’ve painted many videogame characters in various state of undress.

6. No name was mentioned in that post except for the mention of “green eyes”- the color of jealousy, but it looks like this person just outed themselves here. I did not tell them to go at you with pitchforks, they aren't mindless minions. Even without the name drop these people recognized you through your actions. I posted there for you to MOVE ON and LEAVE ME ALONE. 

You, on the other hand, encouraged your followers (or account clones) to harass someone here for “bullying” where in fact it is you who is the bully.

Screenshots of the anon msg? Oh no, not those. I meant the ones on Tumblr and IG, and they are definitely yours: account name and all, not to mention your face on display. The advice on tags? You mentioned only that my post did not show on the tags: I found out this is a common issue with people posting on IG using PC so I googled the workaround and posted the tags on the comments instead of on the captions. 

Aren’t you full of yourself? Quite the narcissist, arent we? I’d be unpopular without you? You are my motivation? I started gaining attention because posting pure Nilfgaardian content -both on Tumblr and IG- wasn't getting me anywhere: not even Emhyrs’ photoshopped naked arse, so I posted fan favorites, even asked some creators permission to have their pics posted on my page- complete with name credit and links to their pages. You had a little rant about it, then a few days later posted fan faves too, and -surprise surprise- they were more liked than the Nilfgaard posts!

If there is something I will give you credit for, it is this: Because of your actions, I learned a great deal of tolerance for other’s opinions counter to mine. I learn to embrace and respect the strange fandom and even stranger shipping. Canon lore has its place, and we have our special place where we create OC’s and pair unlikely characters for fun. 

This post wont stop the hostile dms, the lies, the vagueblogging because Sandy is unapologetic, relentless,will continue to bicker with those who goes against the “book canon”, turns around and plays the victim card. But at least I get to speak my peace after nearly a year long hounding.

I will continue to photoshop and post content that I like whether they be clothed or tastefully naked, Nilfgaardian or Nordling. It no longer matters to me if  i get 0 notes: tumblr will just be my gallery- my collection museum.

For my peace of mind, Sandy will be reduced to white noise, I will put anon messaging on hold indefinitely, move on and focus on me, my OC, my simping for Emhyr and my collection.

UPDATE: The entire post on sand-in-my-shorts has been deleted and account name has been changed. Thank god for screenshots!

#this type of hostile harassment must end #those who have been spammed with anon dms #speak up! #for the last time #move on and leave me alone! #tw: harassment #tw: hate #toxic person #toxic

[starylust]

Disgusting.

✧ S A K U S A  K I Y O O M I ✧

genre: angst>:(

Word Count: 1479

Sakusa had been having a long day and grew angry and irritated. You didn’t notice at first but when you did you tried to help. So why was he being this way?

The day was long and practice was not helping Sakusa and his mood. He had already been irritated by the crowded halls now this?

-

Sakusa and you had known each other for a bit. You had been in the same class but never talked since he was usually by himself.

However this changed when the two of you got paired up for a project. After bonding together Sakusa realized you weren’t so bad and could tolerate you.

Months go by and you guys get closer every day. The both of you start to catch feeling for one and another.

You decided you would confess to Sakusa since you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. To your surprise he felt the same way.

Before you guys started dating though he had sat you down and talked to you about some things.

You knew he didn’t like germs and knew if you were in a relationship it’d take time to get use to the physical affection.

You were fine with this though as you liked him so much you were willing to wait for him. No matter how long it took you’d wait until he was comfortable with the physical affection needed in the relationship.

It took a week or two to get use to holding your hand but it was progress.

It felt nice to him and you he loved the warmth your hand emitted. This was a new feeling to him, a good one too.

Another week or two go by and you guys are now able to hug. Not for too long but for long enough for the both of you to get comfort from the feeling.

This was all new to Sakusa, letting someone in his bubble was not something that happened often. The only one allowed this close to him was his cousin or when he was playing volleyball.

It’s now been a month or two into your relationship and you’ve finally kissed! Not wanting to push him limits you waited for him to make the first move with you.

The two of you never cuddled or got too close for a long period of time but you guys were working on it.

-

And that was the progress of your relationship so far.

You had just gotten done with your club activities and were heading to the gym to watch Sakusa at practice. 

The two of you had a usual routine of whenever you were done with your club activities, you would head over to the gym. You’d watch Sakusa finish practice and walk home together.

Sometimes you were hangout after but it all depended on the plans you guys made before hand.  

Sakusa’s irritation level had risen as his spikes were sloppy this practice. Overall he was just not having a good day.

He was at the point where everything was triggering his anger and irritation. He tried keeping calm as usually though not wanting to disturb anyone.

All he wanted to do at this point was go home. Whether it was he take a shower because of the dirty germs crawling all over him, or him wanting to punch something he knew he did not want to be here.

Sakusa had been so caught up in his own anger and irritation he had completely forgot about you coming. This was definitely not the time he wanted to see you.

Looking at the time he only had 30 minutes left. He took a deep breathe in closing his eyes trying to relax himself a bit.

While he was doing that you were still on your way to the gym. You had been having a pretty good day, meaning you were in a more upbeat mood than usual.

You had just aced your test you’ve been stressing about and it made your overall day. Humming on your way to the gym you were finally by the doors.

This was the time where you usually just enter silently and watch and wait for Sakusa to be done. And that’s exactly what you had done.

Waiting patiently you watched as most of the boys walked out of the locker rooms. You were questioning where Sakusa was because he’s usually the first one in and out.

After a couple more minutes you watched him walk out. You smiled at him only to get a glare back.

Not really questioning it you went up to him and tried giving him a hug.

All he responded with was his hands in front of him holding your shoulders. Had he just rejected your hug?

He had never done that before ever since the two of you started dating.

“What’s wrong Kiyoomi?” You asked.

He just looked at you with a cold glare in his eyes.

He had nothing against you but, again everything was making him more angry and irritated.

Without saying anything he tried just walking away like you weren’t even there. You followed behind wondering what you should do.

You wondered if you should try hugging him again or doing something but you did not want to push his limits.

I mean it’s not pushing his limits right? You’re only trying to hug your boyfriend that’s normal.

Still following behind instead of you hugging him you reached for his hand.

He felt something brush against his hand and he swiftly moved it. Sakusa turned around to see you just staring at him.

“What?” He said coldly.

“What’s up with you today? Are you okay?” you asked worryingly.

“I’m fine.”

“Then why are you acting like that?” 

You were talking in a soft worryingly voice while Sakusa sounded monotone and cold.

Sakusa scoffed, “I don’t have the patience to deal with you today.”

“Deal with me? I’m your girlfriend not some chore.” Now you were starting to lose your patience. 

Just because he was in a bad mood did not mean he could take it out on you. And if he was going to you weren’t going to just take it.

“Well right now you feel like a chore.” He looked down on you like you were some piece of trash. A chore is what you felt like to him.

“Kiyoomi I just want to know what’s wrong so I can help you,” you said now a little bit irritated.

“Why would I talk about my problems with a disgusting person like you?”

You looked at him in complete and utter shock. Not once has he ever called you that when the two of you weren’t joking around.

“Excuse me?” You said back.

“I know you’re not deaf. You are disgusting. I don’t even know why the hell I’m dating someone as annoying as you.” Sakusa was now just letting everything out on you.

“Is that so? Don’t worry about that anymore than cause we’re over.” While saying this you felt you heart strain as the tears in your eyes started to fall.

You felt so angry and hurt that he would talk to you like this. All you wanted to do was help and he is just telling you all these horrible things.

“Fine by me maybe I can finally find someone better. Not that it’d be that hard.” Sakusa spat back loudly.

“Fuck you.” You walked out of the gym angrily trying to see through your tears. All the pain from those words struck your heart hard. Was this how he felt the whole time?

You took out your phone while walking and aggressively wiping your tears away. You clicked on the contact ‘Kiyoomi ♡ ‘ and blocked.

No way were you going to let someone talk like that to you and just stand there and take it.

On the other hand Sakusa was still in the gym just staring out the doors you walked out of. What had he just done? He didn’t mean any of that.

He loves you. He loved you the day you started dating. So why did he say all of that?

Sakusa now pulled his phone out, knowing you were too far away for him to catch up with you now.

You had always been the sweetest and most caring to him and he spat all of those horrible words at you for what? Just cause he was having a bad day?

Sakusa tapped on your contact trying to text you when he noticed the message went green. A panicked feeling started to settle into Sakusa.

He went on snapchat to check if your name was still there. You had disappeared. And the same thing happened with everything you had contact with him on.

Even though you guys would have small little arguments here and there you had never blocked him. Communication was a big thing for you.

This was when he knew it was over between the two of you. He pushed the love of his life out of it.

Here’s part 2;)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣��� .

hi guys:)))

um this was my first time writing angst idk how i feel about this one. i have a few more angst drafts too. anyway thanks for the ones who comment cause those literally make my day<3. thanks for all the love i appreciate all of you a lot!

~𝓶ღ

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa angst #sakusa x reader #sakusa x reader angst #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader angst #angst #sakusa x female reader #sakusa x female reader angst

[sweetcathedral]

🕸Haikyuu! — The Butterfly’s Ripple Effect🕸

Note: Currently a developing short story as I’m trying to figure out how to format it on tumblr, so that it’s easy to read (might take me a few months for the rough draft). The plot and ending is solidified, just need to piece together the scenes. Of course all Haikyuu characters are post-timeskip, it’s easier for me to write them as adults. It doesn’t make sense, but it will when I have the whole story down!

⚠️: blowjob, raw, forceful (?), cheating, giving in to temptation

The warmth of the sun gently wakes you up, making you flutter your lashes and wince at the brightness of the room. Memories of last night play back in your head as you pull the covers over you, but you look around to see that there was no sign of Kuroo. You hesitate to go back to sleep or look around the house to see if the others were okay from last night, since it wasn’t as loud as it should be.

“G’morning,” Kenma was leaning at the doorway with a cup of tea in his hand and a plate of omelettes in the other. “May I?”

You nodded, rubbing your eyes to fully wake you up.

“It smells nice. How are the others?”

“Oh, Kuroo’s driving them back to Sendai. The others wanted you to tag along on their road trip, but I told them that you’re probably jetlagged and needed the rest. They helped unload your stuff at the entranceway though,” he settled the tea and omelettes on the nightstand before pulling out a bed tray table from one of the drawers.

“I didn’t know you were the type to have breakfast in bed.”

“I’m not. A friend left it here last year, forgot about it and told me to keep it in the end. I just thought you’d like breakfast in bed today,” as Kenma was about to unfold the table, he paused in hesitation. It looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he lowered his head onto your lap. Thinking nothing of it, you run your fingers through his soft hair,

“Tired?”

“. . . I guess . . . I don’t know . . .”

You started humming the tune Kenma used to sing to you back then, when the two of you were still normal. The familiar feeling began to cloud your judgement, letting your fingers trace down the nape of Kenma’s neck. He immediately grabs your wrist, startling you from your trance.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he lifts his head.

“I—, sorry, I didn't mean—”

“Your food’s getting cold,” he changes the subject and continues to set up the bed table, arranging the tea and omelette. Before he was able to leave the bed, you reach for his hand,

“Kenma, wait . . .” the words you’ve always wanted to tell him is caught in your throat, “. . . I’m sor—!”

His hands clamp over your mouth as he gently kisses your forehead, softly dragging his cold fingers down to your throat. Unable to shake off the way it made you feel, he left you in silence.

After closing the door, Kenma briskly walked towards the bathroom, turned the faucet on and locked himself in. He leans against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor and pulled his hoodie completely over his head,

“. . . what am I doing? . . .” he sighs, pressing his head into his folded hands.

A moment later, the sound of your footsteps makes him jolt back up to turn the faucet off. He opens the door to see you standing there, knees clasped together.

“Don’t just stand there, move!” you push through him to get to the toilet and quickly kicked your panties off, landing at Kenma’s feet. “Phew, okay, you can leave now.”

Just as you finished cleaning yourself up, he picks up your wet stained panties.

“Hey! Give me those!” you tried grabbing them back from him, while covering yourself.

Fuck it. Kenma decided to cross the line he drew for himself. At this point it didn’t matter to him anymore, nothing mattered to him anymore. Everything that’s been holding him back has reached its limit, and he was more than ready to risk it all.

“What, it’s not like this is my first time seeing you naked.”

“Kuroo can walk in at any moment,” you argued back.

“He left two hours ago. It takes a total of eight hours driving to and from Sendai, plus the amount of stops he probably took to settle them down,” he quietly closes the door. “Which means I’ve about six hours to have you all to myself.”

The weight of Kenma’s words dawned on you. The sound of your heartbeat echoes in your ears, racing at the pace things were moving in. It’s only been a day since you got back, but Kenma had been displaying signs of temptation. You knew he was selfish, but you didn't know he can be this selfish—to the point of sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend. Maybe you should’ve set the boundaries right then and there when you and Kuroo told him about your relationship. But you’ve been sleeping around with Kenma for so long that you didn’t realize that these things weren’t normal for someone in a relationship. It wasn’t right at all, especially to Kuroo. It’s cheating, but—

“Don’t worry, it’ll just be between you and me. I promise,” Kenma cups your face so that your eyes meet with his and draws you into a kiss. You quickly pull away from him,

“Kenma, we can’t. You know we can’t, I’m dating Kuroo, and . . .this is cheating—”

“Only if we get caught,” his fingers trace up your thighs.

You grip his wrist with trembling hands.

“Kenma . . . please, I—I can only hold back so much,” your voice begins to break.

“Do you trust me?” he pauses, waiting for your reply.

With guilt, you shyly nodded.

“That’s my good girl,” he lifts you up onto the edge of the sink. Kissing you along your neck and collarbones.

“Not there, you’ll leave a mark,” you stop him.

“Right, . . . sorry,” he pouts. With how far you’ve already taken the situation, you decided to let go of all senses of your morals.

“Come here,” you reach for his face, pulling him back into a kiss. Shocked that you took the lead, but relieved, he places his hand on your wet spot. The feeling of his fingers brushing over your clit makes you throb inside.

“Look at how messy you’re getting and I haven’t even put my fingers in you yet,” he crosses his fingers. “I know you like it when I do this.”

The twisting motion inside you sends waves of pleasure throughout your body, making your toes curl. Hot breaths escape your wet lips, feeling yourself come closer to ecstasy. Before you could reach your climax, Kenma pulls his fingers out.

“No, no no,” you whined.

“What’s wrong?” he cocked his head, knowing damn well what he’s doing. “You know begging doesn’t work on me, you need to show that you want it.” He leans in closer to your blushing ear. “Now get on those pretty knees of yours.”

The glazed look in your eyes catches Kenma’s attention. A smirk tugs across his face, gently gripping your throat, embracing you into another wet kiss. His teeth softly grazes your bottom lip as he pulls away. Reluctantly, you get on your knees.

You work your tongue, stroking up and down his cock. “Fuck,” he grunts, giving you a sense of pride. Impatiently, you start to touch yourself to relieve that aching feeling,

“Ah, ah, ah,” Kenma pulls you by the hair to get you off his cock. He grabs both of your wrists and pins them over your head against the edge of the sink, preventing you from touching yourself. “I’m not gonna let you take that satisfaction away from me. Now open your mouth nice and wide, and stick your tongue out.”

Your hips squirm and tremble, doing as he says.

“Hrmph!” the impact of his cock thrusts to the back of your throat, his grip tightening around your wrists. Tears stream down your cheeks and saliva dribbles down your chin, taking in every thrust he gives you. You choke on his load, filling you so much that you can’t do anything but swallow.

“You think I’m done?” he pushes you to the floor and turns you over, pinning one leg to your chest. The glint in his eyes tells you how long he’s been waiting for this moment. A single, long, moment to put you in a sloppy daze. You can feel his thumb brushing over your slick folds before pressing it in. Although you’re already a soaking mess down there, he wants to make sure you're fully prepped before going in raw.

“Don’t forget, I have you all to myself for more than a few hours,” he says in your ear as he slowly penetrates you. The tip hits you in the right spot making your walls flutter. Only the sound of your panting and moaning escape your lips.

You forgot how rough Kenma gets when his stress builds up and he has nowhere to vent it off on, but that privilege was taken away from him when you and Kuroo started your relationship. Admittedly, you miss Kenma from before he knew about your relationship with his best friend. You didn’t know how he truly felt about it and didn’t want to ask. You avoided wanting to ask ‘cause you’re scared about knowing how he really feels. The day you confronted him about it was also when he started to become distant and detached from you. 

Slowly, your mind enters a daze, getting lost in the comfort you find from his guilty pleasure.

#cheating is cheating BUT #have you ever been in those complicated relationships that aren’t so clear cut? #yeah it’s that #I’ll give you ALL the sides #using these characters to describe my previous relationships is dangerous... #relationships not spice life #minors dni #timeskip kenma #haikyuu time skip #kenma kuzome #kozume kenma #kenma x you #kozume x you #kenma x reader #kozume x reader #kenma smut #kozume smut #kenma kozume smut #hq smut #haikyuu smut #haikyu smut #haikyu x you #haikyuu x you #hq x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader