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wheredafandomat · 1 year

Text

Hired Gun

Bodygaurd! Loki x y/n Stark reader

18+ | this fic contains adult themes, smut, alcohol, angst, please read the warnings as there are other ones later on in the fic

Part 4 Part 5

You didn’t speak to Loki, barely acknowledged him. Your dad set up Brock as your date which you wasn’t too excited about before but now being on bad terms with Loki and in desperate need to show him that he isn’t the only man in the world, you were in higher spirits about the whole thing. When Saturday morning rolled around, you spoke a few words to Loki, nothing exceeding the boundaries of professionalism as he and your dad arranged your transport as well as some other things including the fact that he wanted Loki to travel in the same car as you. Whilst they spoke, you noticed Loki’s gaze drift to you and instead of reciprocating it, you made your way to your room to get ready.

You decided on a little, black, backless dress with cocktail straps that you paired with some red bottomed heels. You tied your hair back, exposing your face that you decorated with a Smokey eyed look. You looked at yourself in the mirror, hands running over your figure as you imagined what Loki saw, or what he didn’t, what it was that you lacked, the part of you he couldn’t love. Sighing, you applied your favorite perfume before making your way downstairs where Brock was waiting. You noticed him first, back to you as he spoke to your dad, probably about business before you focused on the end of the stairs where Loki was standing. You tried not to smile, his expression seemingly approving of your outfit as his eyes stayed trained on you. He looked good himself, less professional, more like an escort; you had to stop yourself from grinning at the thought.

“Here she is.” Your dad spoke, gesturing to you as Brock turned around.

“Y/n.” He smirked, eyes shamelessly drawn to your cleavage.

“Brock.” You greeted politely, allowing him to kiss the back of your hand and noticing Loki rolling his eyes.

There was a little more conversation, conversation you zoned out of before you, Brock and Loki began making your way to the town car.

“Where’s your car?” Brock paused, looking at Loki.

“He’s riding with us.” You answered for him.

“Tell him he can ride in a seperate car.” Brock replied.

“He’s my bodyguard Brock, I want him to ride with me.” You insisted, strangely craving Loki’s presence.

“I’ll protect you.” Brock smiled, wrapping an arm around you.

“I want him to come.” You persisted, moving out of his grip.

“Fine” he reluctantly agreed. “but hopefully he doesn’t mind a show.” He teased, putting an arm around you again, his hand stroking your side, a movement that made Loki want to break his wrist off before you all entered the car.

During the drive, you focused on the view outside the window as opposed to the two men, one who had been in your knickers and the other who clearly wanted to be. Occasionally you batted away Rumlows hand before your gaze would briefly meet Loki’s.

Once you reached the destination, you noticed Loki’s eyes widen slightly. You were used to these kind of events, huge mansions, bright lights and some of the wealthiest people loitering outside with glasses of champagne but it was clear Loki wasn’t. Loki exited the car first before opening the door on your side to let you out whilst Rumlow remained seated waiting for the same treatment before realising that Loki catered strictly to you.

“Thanks.” You smiled curtly at him.

“You look nice tonight, by the way.” He answered, his eyes on yours.

“Thanks” you said again “you too.”

“Well, off we go.” Rumlow interrupted, walking between you both, guiding you inside whilst Loki followed behind.

Once you were inside, the first place you headed to was one of the bars where you ordered a cocktail before turning to watch the live orchestra playing instead of listening to whatever Brock was saying. As you watched them playing, you noticed that Loki watched them too with an awe stricken expression. You had seen them before, you had seen many of them before but Loki hadn’t. It was times like these ones that it hit you how different your life’s were, your worlds were and yet somehow, you still met in the middle.

“Here you are.” Brock interrupted your thinking, handing you the pornstar martini which you brought to your lips quickly. “Why don’t you just tell him to leave?” He questioned, gesturing to Loki.

“He’s my bodyguard.” You shrugged.

“You’re fine here.” Brock stated.

“My dad feels better knowing he’s with me.” You explained, not mentioning the fact that you wanted him here, you liked being in close proximity to him even when you weren’t talking, or fucking which you remembered was no longer on the agenda. The remembrance made you order another cocktail. And another. You ordered more as you fitted in and out of different conversations with people, some associates of your dad, others heiresses to fortunes as large as your own. Loki noticed Brock handing them to you, more drinks, barely keeping up as he nursed practically the same drink from well over an hour ago. He didn’t like this, not one bit. When he noticed you grabbing the conductor's baton from his hand, he knew he had to intervene.

“Y/n, maybe slow down.” Loki suggested, taking the drink from one of your hands and the baton from the other before handing it back to the conductor with a hushed apology as you rolled your eyes.

“This” you began, grabbing your drink from his hand “has given me clarity.” You finished, taking a sip as you thought about every moment with Loki that led to this one including your most recent argument.

“I think you’re drunk, maybe we should leave.” He tried to reason.

“Why don’t you just leave” you suggested, poking his chest “wouldn’t want you to feel o-out of place.”

“Y/n.”

“Because you’re so intimidated by a little bit of generational wealth” you continued, swaying slightly as you raised your voice “I mean come on, don’t act like you’re such a saint” you scoffed “I know why my dad hired you, you’ve got blood on your hands—”

“Stop.” Loki interrupted almost pleadingly.

“Red in your ledger.”

“Please stop.”

“And now you think you can just parade around like a lost puppy claiming you’re holier than thou and that money is so evil. Well I like money, I like my money, my money pays your rent. Don’t like it, fuck off.” You shouted at him, the level of your voice attracting a crowd as you continued spewing incoherent curses at Loki who felt subdued. For a moment you felt a flash of regret as your eyes met his teary ones but then you thought about how he made you feel, worthless before you gestured for him to leave which he did.

“Your bodygaurd has finally left has he.” Rumlow smirked, wrapping an arm around you.

“Mhmm, he couldn’t take the environment.” You chuckled.

“Good, now the real fun can begin.”

Well that took a turn 😂

Tags:

@lokiprompts @mischief2sarawr @lulubelle814 @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @eyesbluelikethetitanic @mcufan72 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @lokilvrr @evelyn-kingsley @strangelockd @xorpsbane @lovingchoices14 @donaweasley @sailorholly @daggers-and-mischief @kingtwhiddleston @michelleleewise @vickie5446

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)#oc fiction #tom hiddelston loki #loki fanfiction #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x you angst #loki angst #loki au #loki au fic

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taegularities · 1 year

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my lovely rid 🙏🏼 i think it's time ‼️ i was sitting, and thinking that i wanna read c&f so bad like the others EVEN THOUGH I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP. SO I WILL.

let's start, shall we? 😘

•••••••••••••••••••

"Jeon Jungkook's sincerity doesn't run as deep as his undeniable beauty." IT'S LITERALLY THE FIRST SENTENCE. AND I'M ALREADY IN LOVE LIKE ⁉️

THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE STARTING OFF WITH HIM WITH ANOTHER GIRL. THERE'S NO WAY HE'S WITH HER SISTER. CRYING. oh wait she doesn't love him. YES.

"It means that I'm not suitable for marriage yet. Honestly, you should be the one he courts." OHHH I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING GAHAHAHAHA

"But we're not objects to be sold." I ALREADY LOVE Y/N AND I LOVE WHO WRITES HER CHARACTER. 🤍🤍🤍

But you’ll never deny how unnaturally handsome Jeon Jungkook is. WE. WE WILL NEVER EVER DENY.

Might be the slightly tilted smile, the big, jet black eyes. Or the golden skin, the button nose. Constantly pouty lips, deep dimples that he doesn’t need to smile for. GOD I REMEMBERED HIS LATEST LIVE AND I CRASHED MY HEAD INTO A WALL

“She’s my sister. I can’t spill secrets to a stranger.” DAYYUUUUMMMM

“Are we really strangers?” WAIT A DAMN MINUTE ???? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ⁉️⁉️⁉️

“Jeon Jungkook,” you emphasise, stepping closer to the threshold, “if you truly don’t remember, then it’s not worth mentioning.” WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED BRO 😟😟😟

“There was a time, long before he courted your sister, when he was almost your suitor.” THERE WAS A WHAT ????????? WHAT THE FUCK ???????

“They won’t. All you have is a garden nearby, and the worst beast we might encounter is the sin… lust.” HAHAHAHA PLEASEEEE. is that foreshadowing though 👀👀👀

But Jungkook’s strings break, and he rubs his face violently, grabbing your wrist before you can walk away. He tugs at your arm and pulls your body back, eliciting a gasp out of you as he realises what he did. call me crazy, but that's HOT. this whole paragraph is hot. goodbye world

“That I was an outcast. You would compare my dresses to fruits, laugh at them, or point out a minor flaw about me, or make fun of how I never smiled because of how tight my corset sat.”

And right now, your chest is burning, sadness in your eyes as you narrate further, “And I loved those dresses. The young and naive me would… prepare them days before and jump in joy. Just to hide in the back once she saw you.”

WHY ARE MY EYES STINGING ?????? SHE LOVED HER DRESSES😭😭 OH MYYY- NOOOO. NO.

“We were adults then, and I was ready to forgive you,” you tell him, gulping, “until you told a handful of men who liked me, that I’m the most untrustworthy snake in town. And how my sister,” you laugh; your gaze shifts to the ground, “is much more beautiful and actually worth the trouble.”

well... i was excited to know what he did BUT NOW I HATE HIM💔💔💔 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT ??? HOW COULD HE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT ???

“I need to redeem myself,” he then tells you, “I know I wasn’t the best person, but I want to be better.”

I SWEAR TO GOD JEON IF YOU DON'T BECOME BETTER IMMA LOSE IT.

To you, you’re water, and he’s fire — but perhaps there’s a grey area where you meet. Where you collide and become steam, evaporating, hot yet calm.

yup. you did it again with your shakespeare shit. WHAT A MAGNIFICENTLY WRITTEN PIECE OF LITERATURE.

That night changed him. Or at least, you think it was one of the reasons that altered his personality.

some things just never change. he's been like this since he was 11 and he was a child. so it's obvious why he'd grown up to be such a man

And Jungkook — he just listened. That is, until he finally conjured up an excuse; you still haven’t figured out what strange reason urged him to come up with, “I apologise. The girl led me to these alleys, and I couldn’t find my way back.” GOD. WHYYYY. SINCE DAY ONE. he could've said another lie bro :((

Lying isn’t the worst sin of them all; but sometimes, it does wound an eleven year old more than it should. STOOOOOPPPPP. RID THIS KEEPS HURTING THE FUCK OUTTA MEEEE!!!!

Sometimes, a behaviour can’t be excused.

YUUUUPPPPPP.

He lifts a hand, and by the looks of it, you guess she has accepted his proposal to dance, too. NO FUCKING WWAAAAAAYYYY. THE AUDACITY THIS MAN HAS ‼️‼️‼️ BRO I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CAN PUNCH ANYONE IN THE FACE FUCKKSOXBSIX

But as your smile widens and your heart soars, Jungkook calls your name as though it’s a melody. OH THANK GOD. i take back everything i said😘😇

You throw your locks out of your face, drawing a long breath when his hand lifts to the small of your back.

AHHHHWICBSU SCREAMINGGGGG

“thoughts of what you might be wearing tonight.” His body leaves yours once more before his hands pull you back in. WHAT THE FUCK JEON 😩😩😭 I'M DEAD. JSBDIABXJDID THIS MAAAAAN IS DANGEROUS ‼️‼️‼️

His hair tickles your cheek, and the heat of his breath skims your neck, “You meant something way worse to me than an enemy. Sometimes I hated you enough to feel closer to you than to anyone else.” ummmm what is going on? 😟😟

Wait… what is he talking about? And why is his voice so quiet, carrying this odd trace of ache? FOR REAL THOUGH. I'M SCARED.

He shakes his head so slightly you barely notice. “Abhorring you brought me back to reality sometimes. Because where my mind resides… isn’t quite,” he looks around, up to the ceiling, side to side to every guest, “in this realm.” ABHORRING??? WHY DO YOU HATE HER THAT BAD DUDE ??? and why is he so suspicious like ???

i'm not putting their conversations with each other at the orphanage but they're just so ughhhhh. i just love them so much they both deserve happiness 🙏🏼❤️

And no one but you hears him say, “Just. If it’s not love, then you might want to use your fantasy. Then you’ll know.” OH SHIT. RID ?????

Near the end of the evening, a hand touches your braid. Brushes down to its tail, rubbing the tresses between his fingers.

You stay as still as a sculpture, perplexed by the sudden motion; but then break into a laugh when he brings the tail to your ear, tickling you shamelessly.

GET MARRIED ALREADY 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 THEY'RE SO CUTE TOGETHER 💔💔💔

“Right,” you confirm in a gentle giggle; you don’t quite notice when the sound of it makes his lips raise ever-so-slightly. “How about riding? Do you enjoy it?”

“Riding, I do. Does not involve horses, though,” Jungkook admits.

i swear to god if they don't have the best sex....... JUST SAYIN' 🫣

“I mean… I do like long distance carriage rides.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Until now… I didn’t either.”

CURLING MY TOES AND SHIIIIII😇😇

“Did you mean that? The… riding thing.”

STOOOPP I'M ACTUALLY SCARED TO CONTINUE HAHA.... RID I LOVE YOU 🙏🏼🙏🏼

“You won’t let me hold your hand, but this is alright?”

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

Because he’s the first to reach out to you.

GOODNIGHT.

Your eyes dart up to his; his expression is one of a kind. Lips slightly parted, tongue sliding between his teeth, eyes digging into you with a harmless candle flame flickering behind them. just leaving that here. and going to read it whole 🙏🏼❤️😘

But when the wish threatens to burst out, the coachman, hopefully oblivious, yells back, “We’re arriving shortly!” IT WAS SHORT BUT TOO HOT I ALMOST THREW MY PHONE 💔💔💔💔 wondering how the sex would be like😟😩 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME RID ⁉️⁉️⁉️

Angry for you; defending you. I'M SO PROUD I GOT TO WITNESS THIS🤧 !!!!!

“It’d be okay to hold my hand now.” do you know what i am? dead😘

“I think, for me, tonight will be the most memorable.” same jungkook, same. but why am i kinda scared tho🫡

You remember his name to be Byun. PLEASE I WANT TO SEE JUNGKOOK GETTING JEALOUSSSSS. PLEASE WORLD

“That’s good,” he praises, nodding, “Oh, I… I am not trying to court you, I need you to know that. I just needed to at least ask if he’s treating you right.” AND WHO ARE YOU??? ONLY US AND Y/N ARE ALLOWED TO JUDGE HIM. YOU? SHUT UP

Looking closely, you see him clench his jaw, warning through obviously gritted teeth, “Don’t say such things.”

AHHHH SHIIIIT 😟😟😟😟😟

“No. You being you… me wanting, craving you all the damn time. Me finally realising it. That’s why I’m furious… It enrages me.”

YEEESSSS MY ONLY WISH HAS BECOME TRUEEE I CAN DIE HAPPYYYYYY 😩🤧 (+why is he so hot? like sir? have mercy on me❤️)

And then, your mouth falls on his with vigour. LET'S GOOOOO. now😏 i'm gonna read it whole for real this time❤️❤️😇

You flinch when a firm knock sounds against the door.....

UMMM. i really don't know what to say😭 like i've read so many of your smuts but this one is soooo different 🙏🏼 maybe because they finally did something after all these years. that's it, they really belong to each other! EVEN THEIR HANDS FIT PERFECTLY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ugh anyways.. AND this whole part was so well-written, BUT. there's just this paragraph that made me throw the phone for real and throw up❤️

“You sounded so pretty, falling apart like that,” he whispers, kissing your jaw as his hand moves to your chin, “just how I fucking thought you would.” OHH MYYY GOOOOD💔💔💔 RID YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THIS TO MEEE😟😟

“More wasn’t supposed to happen tonight anyway, huh?” i'm unwell. I'M DIZZY🙏🏼🙏🏼 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "huh?" SUDHAIXBWUXHSJSJSHX

Eventually and instinctively, you choose left, because you’ll definitely come out somewhere, right? SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN AND I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS. JUNGKOOK'S GONNA FUCK UP I CAN SEE THAT😟😟😟😟

For some reason, the voice sounds familiar to you. You rack your brain, because where have you heard him before… OHHH IT'S HIS UNCLE!!! THAT FUCKER🤨🤨🤨

“I’ll do anything to get out of here, so do not worry. I have it all planned out,” you hear Jungkook say. PLANNED OUT ??? I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT WAS ALL PLANNED OUT. NO. NO. NO. but bro he literally smiled when he was about to leave and it was genuine 🤣 there must me something 🙏🏼🙏🏼

“Uncle, is there anything else you need from me?” I KNEW IT😬 I FUCKING HATE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART😍😍

“I know we failed with the older sister, but I do think you have the younger one wrapped around your finger. What was her name again?” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OLD CRUSTY DUSTY MAN🤨🤨 wasn't it enough what you've done before??? how can you be so cruel🤢🤢

“Did I do something wrong?” Jungkook suddenly asks. think baby ❤️ use your brain that god gave you 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Because he leans into you, and mumbles, “I am sorry if I hurt you anyhow.” BRO JUST STOPPPPP😭😭 i know he somewhere in his heart cares for her but he keeps confusing me and i'm tiredddd💔💔💔

“In that room,” he answers, and you sigh a breath of relief. No confrontation. No pain. Not yet. “I tried to be gentle.” OH. he meant that.

What your lips will do is let him pull you in and kiss you. Will move against his. Will drown in the deep tenderness of his touch, no matter how much it hurts. Will permit him to slide his tongue through, dancing with yours.

And you think another thing they do is… finally tremble.

CHILLLLLLSSSSSSS🤯🤯 the final bits killed me. ANYWAYS, this is one of the BEST not only jungkook fanfictions but all fanfictions🤧🤧 i laughed, cried, screamed, fangirled(?), screamed again😏😇, threw my phone, and smashed my head into a wall because of one man❤️❤️ and because of you rid😍😍 and god i'm so sorry i didn't read it earlier than today because i really wanted to💔 and i'm more sorry that you will have read like a 11k words feedback😭 i don't know how this happened, i just put some parts and commented on them😇 and i know that i voted on cmi but now i'm not sure if i want my vote to be counted👀 like NO. you did not leave us on a cliffhanger like that💔 my heart broke😭😭 i absolutely loveeeed this one with a my heart 💜💜 would definitely read it again when pt.2 comes out if the ending was not heartbreaking like this one😇 (would read it again if the ending was worse😘) but GOD it was a rollercoaster 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'm not okay💜 thank you so so soooo much for this oneee!! i love you and i can't wait to see what's there to come~~ 💜

LOVELY SARAH !!!! this must be the longest ask i've ever received, and i barely know what to say cos omg the capslock review is so cute lmaooo 😭 oh my god, you better catch more sleep next time !!! my fics will be there to read whenever 😤

muahahah yes, we started with his sister !!! and yes, thankfully she Does Not love him 🤣 i'm so glad that you like oc btw! i resonate a lot with her, so it'd be awkward if you disliked her hehehe

ugh, whenever i describe jk in any way, i think of so many moments in run bts and bon voyage, he has my heart :((( also yes yes, i know they're both being cryptic but wait for it (AND IKR ISN'T HE HAWWWWWWT AND DANGEROUS? except for when she loved her dresses :(...) 😌

not the shakespeare shit lmaoooo 😭 i'm sorry for the pain it brought, though </3

so happy you liked them together hehehehehe there's definitely some hidden chemistry amirighhhhtttt. and the orphanage scene was one of my fav, tbh 🥺

about how sex between them would be...... hahaha no comment 🥴

EYYYYYY SHE CAUGHT SOMETHINGGG

oh yeah, him liking her... enrages him 😉

yeah, ngl, the smut felt very different to me, too. i think it was more bc the trope was just so different? had to think of everything – the carriage, the dresses, the dirty talk. what they could or could not say etcetcetcetcetc.... so glad you liked it tho hehehuaheu

the uncleeeeeee i knowwwww, outrageous !!! i love how everyone's more pissed at him than jk, bc we might be getting glimpses into what's happening ughhh. bc yes lol he did smile when he left :') poor jk is so confused and torn, but also doing something really shitty to oc rn, so yeah.... we shall see what that man does next :')

one of the best jk fics 🥺 ahh i'm so sorry if this response was all over the place, i'm still kind of sobering up jksdksad but this was so nice to (re)read and i truly appreciate you a lot. so stoked that you could feel all those things and enjoy the first chapter.. i'm really excited for the next one, so stay tuned hehhee thank you again bby 🥺 <333

#my responses are also always so long LMAO i hope that's not annoying to y'all 😭#notes for rid 🌹#sarah-217 #fic: candles & flames #long ask #long post

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random-yandere-fandom · 3 years

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Hi, I had a good idea to order, if you accept of course! What would happen if Yandere Ciel and Yandere! Alois (together) were transported to our universe (21st century) and with that the reader found them and took them home and took care of them, maybe the boys would explain that they are from another place and the reader believes in them and helps them adapt to this century, being kind and patient with them and of course they had to be a little independent (knowing the basics of making something to eat or taking care of the house) especially when the reader goes out to work or something thus. So, over time, they fall in love with the reader, so what happens next? And what will happen if the boys return to their universe without the reader, maybe their demons have found a way to bring them back to their universe.

Ooh, I love the idea!

Yandere Ciel and Yandere Alois transported to our world

It certainly wasn’t a sight you had expected to see so early in the morning. Two men, dressed very strangely, obviously fighting each other on the side of a road. Their clothes, their accent, even the mannerisms felt totally out of place. Were the two of them part of a theatre group or something?

Still, your gut was telling you something strange was going on and so you decided to approach them, furrowing your brows in question when you caught bits and pieces of the argument. Seeing them both alert at your approach you stopped, inquiring what they were doing and if they perhaps needed help. The one with blue hair answered, or rather, questioned where they were and especially when they were. Now, you’ve watched enough movies that your first thought was Holy shit, time travellers!, before you considered them to be on drugs. Engaging them in a conversation, which made it very clear that Ciel and Alois weren’t really on good terms, you picked up quite a few clues as to who these two were, namely, time travellers. Not that they told you themselves yet, but you wished to believe that, notably because your follow up offer would really and truly put you in danger otherwise.

It takes some time before the two of them warm up to you, but after you had taken them in and cared of them, teaching them some simple housework and basic knowledge with varying degrees of success it was hard not to grow fond of you. For you, it was quite the experience. You had quickly noted that the two of them really weren’t from here and now. You also learned how tiring it is to have two entitled brats trying to one up each other in a childish approach of trying to be better. If it weren’t for their intellect and the way they so easily managed to grasp complicated new concepts you would have guessed that these are children in adult bodies.

For real though, even though Ciel was extremely prideful he was also grateful and so he worked hard to make up for your kindness. Alois on the other hand often had more difficult times and you’re sure that if Ciel wouldn’t keep him somewhat in check your home would have been trashed once and again. The blonde got better over time though, showing his gratefulness through actions and becoming quite clingy, complaining that you should return earlier from work because he doesn’t want to be left alone with Ciel, cue a fight breaking out on who has it worse with the other. It’s better to give the two of them work to concentrate on while you’re away.

Alois notices his feelings for you first, he has grown dependent on you and he really wouldn’t mind staying at your place. He doesn’t try to hide them either, declaring his affections in ways so blatantly open and unashamed that you can’t help but think of it as simple gratefulness mixed with dramatics for the fun of it. He doesn’t try to deny it either, the thought of you rejecting him otherwise and the more than annoyed looks from the Phantomhive enough to keep his advances going.

In that process, Ciel will realise his feelings with the help of good old jealousy. The twist in his heart whenever you accept his rival’s admiration, even if you don’t recognise it as such, is enough to make him aware of his own admiration for you. He won’t truly act on it though, too much in the way to act on how his heart wishes him to. Instead he’ll tell himself that it’s just a little crush, nothing much to worry about, even if it’s hard to deny his attraction towards you.

From then on there will be war between the two of them, each compliment and each smile from you remembered and later on shoved into the others face, Alois almost shouting and Ciel replying in snide remarks.

There comes a fateful day where everything changes and it appears in the form of a silent home with empty, cold rooms devoid of the usual live they seemed to hold. As you turn the key behind you, you call out their names, confused at the lack of any notable sound. You will search each room for the two men that have accompanied you in the last few months, worry creeping into your heart as you are the only person in a home used to host three. There is no use though, the two noble men having returned to were they belonged (even if they’d insist that was by your side).

Back with Ciel and Alois, the two of them had appeared back in their respective bedrooms, a worried demon in the one and an annoyed in the other greeting them. Turned out the butlers had worked together to create a method to bring back their masters only to separate once the means were acquired and they were ready to get a hold on their masters.

Alois reacted in tears and yells and sobs and wrath, destroying the room in frustration as he realised he was torn from the person he loved as Claude watched in exasperation. Nothing will calm him down, your name leaving his lips in desperate cries until finally the spider demon relents, suggesting to bring you to his master. Trancy will freeze before replying in utter happiness and hope, tears still streaming down his face, ordering his butler to get started, seeing as there isn’t any time to waste.

Ciel is shocked before he feels his heart clenching, the thought of never seeing you again causing his insides to churn in such an awful manner it’s impossible to not grasp his chest in pain as his butler checks him on injuries. He is quick to think of the solution himself, ordering Sebastian to bring you here, to bring you to him, using whatever god forsaken method he used to get him back in the first place. If he wasn’t sure about his feelings before, he sure as hell is now when he risks having lost you.

It doesn’t matter on who summons you, on who gets his hands on you first. There will be a full blown war between the nobles all the while you’re being kept safe, taught of this world you entered against your will as they will be there for you just as you were for them. The only difference is your utter lack of possibility to return to your own home.

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lunmelia · 3 years

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I’m gonna rant for a bit, because after thinking about it for a solid 1 minute Supernatural had so much potential to make Sam and Dean’s relationship with Mary extremely strange, but in a “I just came back from the dead and to a world I don’t know, I cannot handle being a mom to 2 grown adults who are older than me so actually we’re siblings now” kind of way. Hear me out.

Just... imagine. You’re 29, you have 2 sons, one who’s 4-years-old and the other who is only 6 months. You die. 33 years later, you’re alive again but you’re still 29, and you’re faced with your 2 now adult sons, one who is now 8 years older than you, and the other 4 years older. Your sons are literally now older than you. They have experienced life for longer than you have. Your oldest has wrinkles and you don’t. How fucking weird is that!!

Just the... complexity that kind of relationship would have. I did love how they approached Mary in the show, how they had Dean confront her and how we later find out that Amara brought her back just so Dean could face reality and not paint his mum as a saint but like... it could’ve been so much more weird. That kind of situation just calls for weird.

That scene where Mary ordered them dinner should have been so much more awkward and not as comfortable and light-hearted as it was. What if Mary just outright told them “I don’t cook” and they’re like “uh... okay, well, we could order?” and she perks up like “order?” and she’s thinking oh cool they’ll just call the nearest pizza place but no, her sons pull out a mobile phone and they try to teach her how to use the app but she just gets frustrated and doesn’t get it so they give up, Dean orders and they spend the time waiting teaching her how to use a phone. And okay kids are usually teaching their parents how to use technology but this is just weird because her sons are older than her. Then the food gets there and she’s like “why don’t I serve it?” because that’s what mothers do, right? But it feels weird and awkward and wrong because they’re grown men so she shouldn’t have to mother them, right? And they eat in silence and it’s so fucking awkward and all of them know it’s awkward and after a moment Mary goes “... Dean, do you uh... do you still like pie?” and he says yes and it’s a huge fucking relief but at the same time it’s fucking not because that’s all she knows!! that’s all she knows about her son and thank fuck he still likes pie but that’s all she knows.

And just- Mary having a full breakdown because she always wanted to be a mother, that’s all she wanted. She just wanted to drop the hunter life and be a mother and just live a normal fucking life for once and she can’t. She can’t. That life was ripped away from her and now her sons are adults and older than her and she didn’t raise them and they’re hunters and she’s a hunter again and she can’t be a mother. Her sons are hunters and she never wanted that and it makes her nauseous and makes her head hurt. And Sam and Dean find her sobbing in one of the bathrooms next to the toilet and they hold her close until she stops shaking. They comfort her because she can’t comfort them. She only knows how to be a mother to a 4-year-old and a baby, she can’t be a mother to them.

And you know what? Sam and Dean are oddly okay with that. All they wanted growing up was a mother to care for them, to cook them food and be there to hold them when things got bad. But now that they have their mother in front of them? They realise that they don’t really... need her. Not Mary sepcifically, but just a mother. They’ve survived the past 33 years without a mother, and sure it was shitty but it happened and they’re used to it. They’re grown men, they don’t need a mother. Sure, it would’ve been nice but when Mary tried again the next day by making them scrambled eggs with a forced smile they just cringed. They don’t need a mother. It sucks, and they wish so bad that they had one growing up, maybe things would’ve been better, but they’ve dealt with this for the past 33 years and they’re good.

So, okay, she’s not their mum. She is, but she’s not. Really, they’re just strangers trying to get to know each other. And so they do. They spend time together, so much they eventually become insperable. Not in a separation anxiety kind of way, but when Mary isn’t desperately trying to play the mother role the three just click and make a kickass team. They can’t call her “mom” in public because she obviously looks younger than them so when they’re out shopping or anywhere else they just call her Mary and introduce her as their sister. It works, it’s believable because they look related, they are, but no one blinks when they refer to her as a sister.

And eventually they stop calling her “mom” and start just calling her Mary. And “mom” becomes a rare word, a word used in dark moments where one of them is frantically putting pressure on a wound that won’t stop bleeding, or when Mary finally breaks free of the British Men of Letters’ brainwashing. But one day Dean takes a sip from a beer, puts it down and is quiet for a moment before saying “... I think we’ve accidentally adopted our mom as our sister” and Sam just goes “yep” and cue John Mulaney ‘you know those days when you’re like “this might as well happen”? adult life is already so goddamn weird’ and it’s just. that just becomes their dynamic.

She’s not their mum, they’re not her sons, so the relationship dynamic they adopt is siblings. And the concept is so fucking weird but it feels more normal to them than her being their mum. She’s just now their little sister and they’re her big brothers and it’s like “huh. okay. didn’t expect this to happen but okay”

Like it’s STRANGE but I think their situation calls for it!! This is SUPERNATURAL!! Let it be fucking weird!! She’s their mum but no! Now she’s their little sister!! Imagine the humor opportunities!

Mary starts to date and she dates a hunter who isn’t aware of the situation and it’s like Sam and Dean act like protective older brothers and give the person the “you hurt her she’ll hurt you, good luck” talk but also

Hunter: so... ever thought of settling down and having kids? Mary, immediately panicking like should she tell them?? is this an appropriate topic to introduce on the third date? she can’t even wikihow this! she tried and nothing came up!: uhhhh

And also after Jack is born and I’m just gonna sprinkle some baby!jack AU in this, after Dean is like *points to Jack* this is my son and *points to Cas* this is my husband Mary’s like

Mary: damn... I’m a 30-year-old grandmother. I don’t wanna be a 30-year-old grandmother Sam: technically you’re 63 Mary: technically I died when I was 29, was dead for 33 years, got brought back to life and was still 29 so you can shut your face I’m a 30-year-old grandmother Dean: I thought we all agreed you’re more like our sister Mary: not when it comes to being a grandmother. I can’t handle being your mom but I can certainly handle being Jack’s grandma Cas: I’m confused... I thought you just said you don’t want to be a grandmother Mary, holding Jack up: I’m a grandma now

#it's like doctor who 'my childhood best friend is actually my daughter' levels of weird #catch Mary up at 3am frantically googling 'how do I tell my partner that my brothers are actually my sons and I'm technically 64'#spn #supernatural #mary winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #destiel #??? I mean I mention it so #long post #also I guess?? there's lots of words I'm sorry

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tricksters-captain · 3 years

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Bucky Barnes imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 4

AN: What a crazy episode! I definitely think this episode was one of the best so far and I cannot wait to see what happens next after that insane ending!

Overall Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.

In this chapter: Now in Latvia, you and the boys must find Karli before the Dora take Zemo away (Based on S1 EP4)

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 6,123

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 4, violence, strong language.

Once inside Zemo’s apartment, you started to look through the cupboards.

Zemo had excused himself to take a bath but you felt starved.

Even with the limited stock you managed to whip something up for you and Sam.

“Thank you.” Sam took the bowl from you gratefully. The food Zemo had given you on his private plane wasn’t exactly edible and you were still feeling the affects of the Nagel fail in your body.

“Well, the Wakandans are here.” Bucky announced as he entered the apartment; having returned from his walk. “They want Zemo. Bought us some more time.”

“”Were you followed?” Sam looked up at him.

“No.” Bucky made his way over to you and Sam by the kitchen island.

“How can you be so sure?” Zemo pondered.

“Cause I know when I’m being followed.” Bucky sent an unimpressed glance to the man in the bathrobe.

You pushed a bowl of pasta towards Bucky but he shook his head and pulled out his phone.

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least.” Zemo stated.

“Hey, you shut it.” Sam quipped. “No one’s defending you. You killed Nagel.”

“You gotta eat.” You whispered to Bucky.

“Do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened?” Zemo rounded the island so he was closer to you all.

“I’ll eat later.” Bucky mumbled back to you as he furrowed his brow at twitter.

“There’s nothing to litigate. You straight shot the man.” Sam argued with Zemo.

“Sam.” Bucky had found something.

“What?” Sam turned his attention to Bucky and away from Zemo.

“Karli bombed a GRC supply depot.” Bucky showed you his phone screen so you could read.

“What? What’s the damage?” Sam’s concern grew quickly.

“Eleven injured, three dead.” You said after skimming over the article.

“They have a list of demands and are promising more attacks if those demands aren’t met.” Bucky added as Sam sighed.

“She’s getting worse.” Zemo spoke up. “I have the will to complete this mission. Do the three of you?”

“She’s just a kid.” Sam was right. She was only young, she reminded you of you when you first joined the avengers. Desperate to fight for a cause.

“You’re seeing something in her that isn’t there.” Zemo disagreed. “You’re clouded by it. She’s a supremacist. The very concept of a Super Soldier will always trouble people. It’s that warped aspiration that led to Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers.”

“You’re talking about our friends.�� You felt the need to remind Zemo that you were actually apart of the Avengers as you placed your empty bowl in the sink.

“The Avengers, not the Nazis.” Bucky felt the need to clarify.

“So, Karli is radicalised, but there has to be a peaceful way to stop her.” Sam was determined there wasn’t a need for a fight.

“The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her.” Zemo explained as he reached for the bowl you had originally offered Bucky. “Or she kills you.”

You swatted his hand away to which he frowned at.

“Maybe you’re wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.” Bucky argued his point.

“Touché.” Zemo picked up a biscuit instead. Holding it on his finger as he spoke. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

“Well, maybe we should give him to the Wakandans right now.” Bucky suggested to you and Sam as he moved over to the couch.

“And you’ll give up your tour guide?” Zemo asked as he opened the cupboards to look for some food.

“Yes.” Bucky didn’t hesitate.

“From my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam interrupted with a new thought. “So, when I was a kid, my TT passed away.”

“Your TT?” Bucky asked, unsure of what Sam had meant.

“Yeah, my TT, yeah.” Sam nodded.

“Who is your TT?” Bucky asked as you sat down beside him.

“Fine. When I was a kid, my aunt passed away and the entire neighborhood got together for a ceremony. It was like a week long. Maybe they’re doing the same thing for Donya.” Sam proposed. He could be right.

“Worth a shot.” You proclaimed.

“Your TT would be proud of you.” Zemo sounded more awkward at the use of the phrase before he pulled out a fancy looking tin. “Turkish delight? Irresistible.”

Sam caught the small sweet that Zemo had thrown.

“I say Zemo put’s some clothes on and we head over to the refugee camp that Donya was staying. See if anyone knows anything about a funeral or ceremony for her.” You ignored Zemo as he looked down at the sweets.

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam stood from his seat at the island and looked over at Zemo.

Zemo nodded before disappearing into a bedroom to change.

It didn't take long to get to the camp from Zemo’s apartment.

“Shame what’s become of this place. When I was young, we used to come here for fabulous dinners and parties. I knew nothing of the politics of the time, of course, but I remember it being beautiful.” Zemo seemed saddened by the state of the buildings being used as the camp.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs. See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.” Sam told Bucky as he gestured to Zemo.

“I’ll stay out of your way.” Zemo promised.

“(Y/n), you look around through there. See if you can... You know.” Sam pointed down through one of the ground floor doors. You nodded and left the men.

Most of the adults fled when you entered the building but you noticed a young girl who looked too busy with what she was doing to notice. She had looked maybe 16 or 17 years old and she was embroidering an old silk scarf.

“That’s beautiful.” You knelt down beside her but as you spoke, her eyes shot up and widened with shock and fear.

“T-t-thank you.” She stuttered as her eyes flittered around the room for help.

“It’s okay. I was just wondering if I could have a look at it.” You smiled softly at the girl as you held your hand out.

She reluctantly gave it to you.

“This truly is beautiful. You are very talented. May I buy it from you?” You placed your hand in your pocket and pulled out a note that you had previously stolen from Zemo’s jacket.

“You c-c-can have it.” She whispered as she stood. You rose with her as you folded the scarf to place into your pocket.

“I insist.” You took her hand gently and cautiously and placed the money in her palm. She smiled but she still was nervous and full of worry. You figured she knew who you were.

You folded your hands over hers and that’s when you unplugged the cork on your powers.

You closed your eyes and within seconds all the girls memories flooded into your head.

You tried not to react as it happened.

You tried your best to filter through the memories quickly. When you reached the time after the blip, you slowed down. You saw the horrors of them being rejected, being abandoned and then you saw Mama Donya and Karli.

You focused on Karli.

You watched Karli smile and laugh with all the children, she’d play and look after them as Donya looked after Karli.

Closer memories brought what seemed like events that only just happened. Karli visiting with supplies.

You saw the mourning of Mama Donya from everyone and then you saw the arrangements for the funeral.

You opened your eyes and let go of the girls hand. She thanked you again and left. She would have never realised what you had seen as the memories are shown to you within a matter of seconds.

You leant against the table and inhaled deeply.

You felt weak again.

You pushed yourself off the table and headed back out to Bucky.

Zemo was surrounded by a bunch of small children.

“You okay?”Bucky asked. The second you reappeared he immediately noticed a change in you.

“I’m okay.” You lied. “I spoke to one of the teenagers inside. I looked inside her head. You were right, Sam. They are having a funeral but she only knew that she would be taken to it later this afternoon.” You explained as Sam joined you both.

“Good work.” Sam wrapped his arm around you and gave you a small squeeze of appreciation.

They both knew how hard it must've been for you to use your powers after the Nagel incident.

The toll of touching the dead had knocked you for six in the past and in a matter of forty eight hours you had touched the dead and looked into the memories of a live person.

You’ll need an energy boost before you can do this again.

Zemo turned back to you and you all returned to the apartment.

“Well, I got nothin’. No one’s talkin’ about Donya.” Bucky slouched down on the couch in defeat.

“Yeah, it’s because Karli is the only one fighting for them.” Sam joined him on the couch. “And she’s not wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

“For five years, people have been welcomed into countries that have kept them out using barbwire. There were houses and jobs. Folks were happy to have people around to help them rebuild. It wasn’t just one community coming together, it was the entire world coming together. And then, boom. Just like that, it goes right back to the way it used to be. To them, at least Karli’s doin’ somethin’.” Sam explained himself.

“You really think her ends justify her means? Then, she’s no different than him or anybody else we’ve fought.” Bucky pointed over to Zemo.

“She’s different. She’s not motivated by the same things.” Sam argued with Bucky.

“Sam’s right.” You spoke up. “When I looked into that girls head I saw a lot of Karli. She means a lot to those people, she is their light, their Captain America. But she’s just a kid. From what I saw she has a whole lot of love in her heart and I'm not saying that hurting and killing people is right but she sees it as the only way to help her people.”

Zemo had walked over from the kitchen with a tray as you spoke.

“That little girl. What’d she tell you?” Bucky questioned him.

“The funeral is this afternoon.” Zemo only said what you already knew.

“We know that. Now you know the Dora’s coming for you any minute. In fact, they’re probably lurking outside right now. Keep talking.” Bucky demanded.

“Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli. Hmm. I prefer to keep my leverage.” Zemo sure knew how to push someone’s buttons.

Bucky shot up and threw Zemo’s cup against the wall. The crashing of the glass made both you and Sam jump to your feet.

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” Bucky threatened Zemo.

“Take it easy. Don’t engage him. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” Sam tried to de-elevate the situation. “Let me make a call.”

“You want some cherry blossom tea?” Zemo offered Bucky as Sam walked away.

“No, you go ahead.” Bucky grumbled, scowling at the Baron.

“Come on.” You took Bucky’s hand and pulled him away from Zemo.

You headed into the bathroom and started to fill up the tub with some cold water.

“Will you get me some ice?” You asked Bucky to which he complied.

Once the tub was full of ice water, you stripped and climbed inside.

Bucky had taken a stool and faced the door to give you some privacy.

“You shouldn’t let him get to you.” You said as you settled into the water. Your body was screaming at you as the ice touched it but you knew it’d give you the wake up call you and your muscles needed.

“I don’t.” Bucky grimaced.

“You don’t? Oh, so the shattered cup in the other room was just a scare tactic?” You mused.

“Yep.” Bucky grumbled.

“Okay.” You sighed before going under.

The cold water hit your brain and you immediately sat back up.

“Feel better?” Bucky had heard the splashing of the water.

“Yeah.” You admitted, running your hands over your face and hair. “Can I have my towel?”

Bucky kept his back to you as he passed you the towel.

You wrapped it around you and stepped out.

“You can look.” You told him.

Bucky turned and his eyes went straight to the bruises that covered your legs and arms.

“I’m okay, Buck.” You assured him as you watched the cogs turning in his head.

“I forget you aren’t...” Bucky’s words dropped off as he stepped closer and lightly took your arm, examining the damage.

“That I’m not a super soldier?” You smirked. “I may bruise but I can hold a lot more than most, Buck.”

“Doesn’t stop me worrying.” Bucky admitted as he lowered your arm.

“I know.” You whispered, looking up at the man’s deep blue eyes.

“You better get dressed. You already know what Sam is thinking with us both being gone right now.” Bucky went to go towards the door when you stopped him.

“I had a dream about Wakanda on the plane ride here.” You confessed.

Bucky stopped and looked back at you.

“It was the day you finally beat the Winter Soldier.” You told him.

*Flashback*

“These are incredible, Shuri.” You smiled widely as you threw the new high tech Vibranium knives that Shuri had made for you.

“I know. I know.” Shuri was well aware of her awesome brain.

Shuri pressed the combat button on the wall which simulated attackers for intense weapon training.

You inhaled as you closed your eyes.

A footstep gave away your first attacker. You threw the knives to the holograms and the attackers were down. You ducked and dodged and jumped around the room as you practised with the knives.

Shuri cheered you when you finished. You smiled through your heavy breaths and Shuri jogged towards you to give you a fist bump.

“You are something else, my friend.” Shuri praised you.

The doors opening behind you made both you and Shuri turn to see who had entered.

It was Bucky.

He rushed towards you with a bright smile. His lips seemed to quiver and his eyes were glassy. Something had happened.

It had happened.

He embraced you tightly and you returned it. Your fingers gripped onto Bucky’s long hair as he buried his face in your neck.

You looked back at Ayo (who had followed Bucky) and Shuri and mouthed a ‘Thank you’.

Ayo bowed her head at you before leaving the hall.

Bucky had finally gotten over HYDRA’s programming after all these years of being held prisoner by a few words.

You and Bucky stayed like that for what felt like hours. The relief from Bucky washed over you and bound him to you until he was ready to part.

It was an incredible day.

*End of Flashback*

“Maybe you could sense that the Dora’s were close on our tails.” Bucky suggested.

“No, we all knew that they’d come for Zemo eventually.” You dismissed the idea. “I think it was after seeing Zemo treat you like him again.”

Bucky remained silent.

“I don’t think I ever told you how proud I was of you that day.” You folded your arms over your chest as you leant back on the tub.

“You didn't need to.” Bucky assured you. “I already knew.”

You watched Bucky leave the bathroom so you could change.

When you had returned to the main space again it was just about time to head out again.

You felt a little nervous as you didn’t really want a fight with Karli since you weren’t 100% but you figured you had felt a hell of a lot worse before.

As you left the apartment, a voice and face you didn’t particularly wanna see called out.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” John Walker and his little side kick were walking down some stairs towards you.

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called back.

“Come on. You think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Lemar, Walker’s partner, scoffed.

“No more keeping us in the dark. You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.” Walker pointed out Zemo.

“He did that himself, technically.” Bucky corrected Walker.

“This better be an unbelievable explana––”

“––Hey, take it easy before it gets weird.” Sam interrupted Walker before things could get heated in front of civilians.

“I know where Karli is.” Zemo kept walking as the others stopped.

“Well, where?” Walker asked, stopping Zemo by stepping in his way.

“All we know is it’s a memorial. So, we’re gonna intercept her there.” Sam informed them.

“That means civilians. High risk of casualties.” Lemar relaid to his partner as you continued to walk.

“All right, good, we’ll move in fast. Take her by surprise.” Walker started to talk through his plan when Sam stopped him.

“No, I wanna talk to her alone.”

“I’m not losing her again.” Walker argued with Sam.

“Look, the person closest to her died, she’s vulnerable. Now is the best time to reason with her.” Sam was trying to defend his reasoning but Walker wasn’t having it.

“What? No. Wait, no! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop, okay?” Walker ran up ahead to stop everyone again. “I think we’re way past reasoning with her, unless you forgot that she blew up a building with people still in it.”

“Sam, you walk in there cold, she could kill you, man.”Lemar tried backing up his partner.

“If I go in hot and the op goes wrong, more people will die.” Sam handed over the other scenario.

“You’ll let him do this?” Walker looked between you and Bucky. “Are you gonna let your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier alone?”

“He’s dealt with worse.” Bucky told him flatly. “And he’s not my partner.”

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay? This is in my wheelhouse.” Sam walked past you and Bucky to face Walker.

“I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I know this is a bad idea.” Walker still wasn't on board.

“Wait, John.” Lemar stopped Walker. “If he can talk her down, it might be worth a try.”

“Thank god Battle-scar here has some sense.” You declared.

“It’s Battle Star actually.”Lemar smiled at you but you ignored him.

“We’ll deal with you later.” Walker told Zemo as he caved in.

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.” Zemo lead you towards the young girl he had spoken to earlier that day.

“Hello, my friend. This is for your family. Can you show us the way?” Zemo handed her some money and the girl beckoned for you all to follow.

“What the hell?” Walker seemed a little confused by Zemo’s ‘associate’ being 12.

The girl lead you to the building where the funeral was being held and you all waited for a signal.

“Karli’s in there.” Zemo announced as the girl ran off.

Sam went in whilst Walker cuffed Zemo.

“You got 10 minutes. Then we are doing things my way.” Walker told Sam before he left.

“Aggressive.” Zemo mumbled after being handcuffed. “But I get it.”

You rolled your eyes subtly at both Walker and Zemo.

You took up a position by the door with Bucky.

You watched Walker sit down, his grip on the shield was tight as he slowly huffed in and out.

You frowned as you studied the man. Your eyes glanced over to Zemo who was also watching Walker.

You shared a look before you let your eyes fall back down to your feet.

“Uh-uh. No, no, no. This is a bad idea.” Walker started to pace as he let his impatience get the best of him.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.” Bucky sighed unimpressed by the young solder.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronise me.” Walker glared back at Bucky.

“Sam knows what he’s doing.” You backed Bucky up.

You all watched Walker stop as he thought. His heavy breathes causing his chest to rise up and down quickly.

“I’m goin’ in.” Walker didn’t want to listen anymore. He stormed towards the door but both you and Bucky stepped in his way.

“This is all really easy for you, isn’t it? All that serum runnin’ through your veins.” Walker didn’t even look at you as he squared up to Bucky.

That really bothered you.

You took hold of the man’s upper arm and yanked him to look at you.

“You may be Captain America right now but we don’t follow you. We said we’d give him 10 minutes. So, he’s getting 10 minutes.” You glowered at the man.

“Your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?” Walker leant towards you, trying to be intimidating but it wasn’t working.

“Just wait.” You looked the man in the eye with a subtle threat in your stare. His jaw clenched as he tugged his arm away from you.

Walker went back to look at the clock again.

After a couple more minutes, he tried once more.

“Time’s up! Our turn.” Walker didn’t hesitate to push past you as he charged ahead.

Bucky kept his tongue in his cheek as he watched it happen.

You and Bucky stayed behind Walker and his partner as they marched ahead.

“Karli Morgenthau, you’re under arrest.” Walker announced as he entered the room.

“This is what that was?” Betrayal flashed across Karli’s face as she looked at Sam.

“No, wait––” Sam didn’t have a chance now that Walker had intervened.

“––Tricking me until help came?” Karli started to back away.

“We had enough time to talk.” Walker exclaimed as he headed straight for Karli.

“Nazi! “ Karli wasn't going the easy way. She hit Walker back and he went straight into a table.

Lemar tried to keep you and Bucky back but you had easily managed to get round him to chase after Karli.

Bucky being what he was managed to get ahead of you but you were close on their trail.

Sam had found his own way but ultimately you all lost Karli.

“I lost her.” Bucky sighed.

“This place is a maze.” Sam looked around at the several doorways with a frown.

The sound of gunshots is what caught your attention next.

“Come on.” You rushed through the building trying to get to the source.

You didn’t manage to get there before Walker did.

Zemo was unconscious on the floor and vials of the serum were smashed around the concrete floor.

“What happened?” You asked as you looked down at the mess.

“He was shooting at Karli. I stopped him but she got away.” Walker lifted his shield a little to symbol how he had stopped Zemo.

“Let’s get him up.” Sam started down the stairs and you followed.

Zemo woke up after a little encouragement and some smelling salts. You had decided it was best if you split up on your way back to the apartment.

You and Sam were going to stay with Zemo and see if you can dig up anything on socials and the computer and Bucky was going to do a round and see if she had holed up anywhere familiar.

Sam sat at his computer, he was contacting Sharon whilst you stood with your phone searching Twitter to see if any Flag Smashers appearances or Karli were popping up in recent tweets.

Zemo laid down on the couch with a wet towel and a strong glass of scotch.

“You got anything?” Sam asked you.

“Nothing. I don’t think we’ll find her this time if she doesn’t want us too.” You put your phone down in defeat. It wasn't usual for people to give her Karli’s location anyway.

“I think you’re right.” Sam hated to agree but this was the first time you had come close to actually talking Karli down and it failed.

“And now with the serum’s gone. Who knows what her next move will be.” You knew that Karli didn’t have the option to create more super soldiers now and that gives her a disadvantage. The idea of an army is gone now and she would only have her current foot soldiers to help her.

Zemo moved for the first time in ten minutes as he lifted his cold compress.

“Were you ever offered it?" He asked aloud.

“What?” Sam furrowed his brow at the man.

“The serum.” Zemo replied.

“No.” Sam smirked at the idea.

“If you had been, hypothetically, that is, would you have taken it?” Zemo inquired.

“No.” Sam answered instantly, his smile dropping.

“No hesitation. That’s impressive.” Zemo nodded before removing his towel. “Sam. (Y/n). You can’t hold out hope for Karli. No matter what you saw in her, she’s gone. And we cannot allow that she and her acolytes become yet another faction of gods amongst real people. Super Soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”

“Isn’t that how gods talk?” Sam queried. “And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky?” There was a silence from Zemo. “Blood isn’t always the solution.”

Before the conversation could continue, the door opened and Bucky strode inside.

“Something’s not right about Walker.” Bucky stated as he removed his jacket.

“You don’t say.” Sam huffed with amusement. It was clear as day that Walker was at his wits end with the pressure on him.

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one. Because I am crazy.” Bucky poured himself a glass of whiskey. You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“Can’t argue with that.” Sam retorted.

“Shouldn’t have given him the shield.” Bucky was back on this topic again.

“I didn’t give him the shield.” Sam rose to his feet to face Bucky.

“Well, Steve definitely didn’t.” Bucky sipped on his drink just as the doors flew open.

All right. That’s it. Let’s go. I’m now ordering you to turn him over.” Walker commanded, his face red and his ears steaming.

“Hey, slow your roll. Shield or no shield, the only thing you’re runnin’ in here is your mouth. Now, I had Karli and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful today. We’ll need all hands on deck for whatever’s comin’ next.” Sam approached Walker to try and pump his breaks.

“How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, Sam, huh?” Walker chuckled softly as Sam remained silent. “Yeah. Should I put down the shield? Make it fair?”

Sam scoffed, shaking his head at the man’s antics.

Walker put down the shield but the only thing flying next was a spear that struck the pillar by Walker’s head.

It was the Dora Milaje.

They had come for Zemo.

From your time in Wakanda you understood the language as Ayo spoke to Bucky.

“Even if he is a means to an end. Your time is up.” Ayo reverted back to English. “Release him to us now.”

Walker introduced himself to Ayo, not that she cared for him.

“Well let’s, uh, put the pointy sticks down and we can talk this through, huh?” Walker suggested, only to be met, yet again, by silence from the Dora’s.

“Hey, John, take it easy. You might wanna fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.” Sam tried to warn him but he wasn’t backing down.

“They don’t have jurisdiction here––”

“––The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.” Ayo cut Walker short.

“Okay.” John chuckled lightly. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Walker made the mistake of putting his hand on Ayo’s shoulder.

Ayo responded with an attack.

The surrounding Dora’s fell into defence positions as Ayo and Walker fought. Lemar bounced into action, trying to help his partner out but it only warranted in more fighting. Or more asses getting kicked by the Dora Milaje.

“We should do something.” Sam said as you, him and Bucky stood together watching.

“Looking strong, John.” Bucky called out.

“Bucky!” You tried not to laugh as you scolded the man.

“Guys...” Sam nodded to Ayo about to strike John with her spear which made Bucky reluctantly intervene.

“Ayo, let’s talk about this.” Bucky only landed himself directly in the mess.

You realised how serious this was as Ayo didn’t hold back and went ahead to help Bucky. Sam went over to help Lemar but was met by more Dora's.

You grunted as one of the women attacked you. You had almost forgotten just how incredible they were at combat. Almost.

You were backed against a wall with the spear to your chest when the room fell silent.

You looked over at Bucky to see his arm was on the floor.

You wanted to move towards him but you were stuck until orders were given to release you.

“He is gone. Leave it.” Ayo had opened the bathroom doors to reveal the manhole had been opened. Zemo had escaped.

You were trying to slow your breathing when finally the Dora’s fell back.

She retracted her spear and left with Ayo and the others.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked Bucky as he pushed himself off the floor.

Bucky reattached his arm. He groaned as he swung it round to adjust it.

“No.” He said but the shock on his face from before had already given away that answer.

You looked past Bucky to where Walker was still on the floor.

“You all right, man?” Lemar offered his hand to help him up.

“They weren’t even Super Soldiers.” You heard Walker mutter.

“Come on.” Lemar tugged him to his feet.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.” Sam walked over to the bathroom and stared at the hole.

“I can.” Bucky wasn’t really that surprised and neither were you truthfully.

“Come on.” You beckoned the boys out of the apartment so you could talk.

You got down to the streets and away from Walker before you spoke again.

“Walker isn’t stable. He’s on the brink of cracking.” You kept your voice low as you spoke to the boys.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“We may not like him but he’s not stupid. He knows that he can’t be Steve, do the things Steve did and it’s killing him. He's so obviously trying to win this fight by himself and it’s going to drive him insane if he isn’t the one to beat Karli.”

“But he can’t beat Karli. You saw her kick him across the room like he was a cardboard box.” Sam reminded you of what happened earlier.

“We have to get to Karli before he does because he’s either gonna stop her or kill himself trying.” You weren't worried for the man but worried about what would happen if he finally snapped.

Suddenly, Sam’s phone started to ring. It was his sister.

“She said what? Right. Hold on, hold on. I know, I know. Listen, pack an overnight bag and take the boys...” Sam sounded worried.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

“Karli called Sarah. She threatened my nephews.” Sam told you both. “Okay. Go somewhere safe. Only pay cash. All right? Tell me when you arrive. I know. Look, I love you. I’ll never let anything happen to you and the boys. Okay. Bye.” He hung up and then immediately texted an unknown number.

“What does she want?” You knew Karli was desperate but threatening kids was a different story.

“Karli wants to meet. She left a contact number.” Sam’s phone buzzed with a new text. “She said come alone.”

“We’re coming with you.” Bucky wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Alright but keep your distance.” Sam didn’t bother to fight you on it. “We better suit up.”

You suited up by adding a few more weapons to your body. You placed your favourite thigh holsters on that held your Vibranium knives out on display.

Sam got his wings and soon you were at the location.

“Karli!” Sam bellowed as you entered the building.

Karli leant over a balcony to make herself seen. You remained on the ground floor but looked up at the girl. Bucky followed Sam.

“You called my sister? That’s how we’re gonna play this?” Sam was upset and understandably so.

“Sam, I would never hurt her. I just wanted to understand you better.” Karli confessed.“I see you, um, didn’t come alone.”Karli peered down at you then up at Bucky.

“You have to end this now.” Sam told her.

“I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re a tool in the regimes I’m looking to destroy. You’re not hiding behind a shield. If I were to kill you, it’d be meaningless. I was gonna ask you to join me. Or do the world a favour and let me go.” Karli spoke pretty boldly for someone who seemed to be alone. Super Soldier or not.

“Hey, Sam, new Cap is moving, looks like he’s found them, or maybe they found him.” Sharon’s voice came through on Sam’s intercom.

“It’s Walker.” Sam looked down at you and then Bucky.

Karli jumped from the balcony at the realisation the jig was up but Bucky was quick to jump too.

Karli kicked Bucky back but you managed to weaken Karli as you flipped over and kicked her in the jaw.

Sam put her down momentarily as he flew down and kicked her also.

“I’ll send you the location. Go!” Sam ordered both you and Bucky before he took off.

You knew Bucky would be fast enough to run there but you didn’t have that luxury.

You crossed the street to a parked motorbike and opened up it’s wiring. Just as you managed to get it running, Sam’s coordinates came through.

You docked your phone and set off.

You dodged through the narrow streets and traffic to arrive at another large building. Karli must have a favour for buildings you could get lost in.

You drove through the doors and skidded to a stop.

Bucky had gotten there before you. You could hear his grunts from a flight or two up.

You raced up them only to be met by a super soldier fighting Bucky.

You sent a knife forward, it embedded itself into the man’s soldier, he cried out which gave Bucky some time to throw him down the stairs.

You tucked up, over the tumbling body, holding onto the railing and the wall.

Bucky jumped over the rails and with one final blow knocked the soldier unconscious.

“Stay there.” Bucky told him before climbing back up to you. He thanked you for the help, handing you back the knife that had been in the man’s shoulder.

You then both went ahead to find Sam and Walker.

They were fighting more super soldiers a floor up.

You didn’t hesitate to go in for the attack.

You pulled a knife and threw it to Bucky for help; he caught it midair.

You screamed with frustration as the soldier you were fighting, pulled your arm behind you and slammed you into the pillar. You managed to swivel around, taking out the soldiers legs as you freed your arm.

You threw a knife into both his biceps. You only intended to injure, not kill, them anyway.

He groaned as he pulled them and tried to use them against you.

All at once, the fighting stopped when you all witnessed Karli kick Lemar into one of the concrete pillars.

Lemar’s body slumped down with blood painted across his lips.

John broke free from his attacker and slowly made his way over to Lemar.

From the sight of the body, you already knew he wasn’t walking out of there.

Walker desperately tried to wake him up.

That’s when Karli took her chance to flee.

You and the boys took off after her but lost her again pretty quickly.

When you rounded the building, you saw a crowd gathering.

What you saw next made you feel psychically sick.

John Walker stood above Karli’s right hand man, blood splattered up Steve’s shield and across his uniform.

He had killed the man in front of all these civilians. He had killed a man as Captain America.

(PART 5 HERE)

Bucky Barnes Tag List

@florencxs @mystictimetravelcolor @yourphotographyteen16@shannon-posts@darkbluenovember @sexwithhiddlesbatch@thefandomimagines @mydarkness-itsnotmyfriend @sad-huffle-nerd @glitchingghosts @themaddies-obx @avenging-parker@delilahsdaydream @felicityofbakerstreet @purplewcrld @opheliaaaa @avisexe @lindseyrae20 @thanossexual @smolanxiousdeku @soccer-100000

#Bucky Barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier imagines #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan imagines #Sebastian Stan x reader #Sam Wilson #Sam Wilson imagines #Zemo #baron Zemo #John walker #the winter soldier #imagines #series #part 4 #some sunny day

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tv-music · 3 years

Text

Umbrella Academy Review 1.07

The Day That Was

We begin this episode with the story of Harold Jenkins, born on the same day as the Umbrella Academy kids, his mother died in childbirth leaving his father an alcoholic mess who takes his problems out on his son using his fist. Harold is a big fan of the academy and is convinced that as he shares their birthday he may be one of the 43. Dressed in his homemade uniform he tries to join the academy only to be told by Reginald that there is nothing special about him. When he returns home he is hit by his father and finally snaps, rather than get the beer his father asks for, he grabs a hammer and puts an end to his Dad’s abuse once and for all. He gets 12 years for the crime, and just 5 days earlier, the day we meet the siblings no less, he watched Klaus throw away dear old Reginalds diary and collect it himself. As he does this we get to see Harold's adult face for the first time, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, it’s Leonard. This brings us nicely back to where we left off in the last episode, with Leonard (I know his names Harold but for the sake of simplicity I’ll keep referring to him as Leonard) in the house taking one of the figurines but this time, as he overhears the rest of the family meeting take place, we see the first change caused by Five’s appearance, he realises they know his real name, even if they don’t actually know it’s him.

The siblings continue their meeting, and Five convinces them that they need to work together to figure out who Harold is and he, Diego and Alison investigate. They go to the police station in order to get Harold’s file, when Diego is informed he’s a suspect in his ex’s death - no real surprise there. When Diego gets the file, Alison immediately recognises Leonard and informs her brothers who he is. I’m glad that it wasn't dragged out and the 3 of them head over to Leonard’s house to investigate. It doesn’t take long for them to find his weird shrine but when they do Five collapses and they realise he was seriously injured. They take him home and while their Mum is caring for him, Diego mentions theres another address they can check, unfortunately as he and Alison leave the house, Diego is arrested for his ex’s death so Alison heads out alone

Luther is still convinced that this has something to do with his time on the moon and once again deals with the discovery that there was no real mission. With no Alison to comfort him this time and no Diego to tie up Klaus, Luther and Klaus are left with each other. We’ve not really seen much interaction between these two characters so this was interesting to watch. This was the first time I felt any real sympathy towards Luther, when he literally started crying on Klaus’s shoulder I felt genuinely sad. I was also surprised by the turn this episode took with these two characters, Luther looking to feel numb and forget the way Klaus does and Klaus having to be the responsible one, a role reversal that didn’t feel forced or for laughs but just two people both going through something difficult, Klaus grieving for Dave and Luther realising who his father really was.

Luther’s gone to the club and Klaus is following reluctantly, being led by Ben, to try to stop him. Klaus understandably doesn’t want to go in, but Ben makes it clear that Luther would do it if it were the other way round, no questions asked. I understand Klaus’s reluctance, he’s trying to get clean and a place like that is going to be really difficult for a newly sober person to be. While in the club, Klaus, already struggling with his addiction, started having flashbacks as part of his PTSD - give the poor guy a break. Klaus sees Luther in trouble and tries to help, almost getting himself killed in the process (or was he actually dead for the duration? I’m not sure if that was how it was intended) Klaus enters what we can only assume is the afterlife and while there he finally gets to speak with his Dad and gets some answers. Reginald wastes no time in expressing how disappointed he is in his son, while taking no responsibility for the damage he’s caused. He did reveal the answers to the mystery surrounding his death - he killed himself to bring them back together in order to save the world - did he never think of just treating them better and speaking to them? Of course, in true tv fashion, Klaus returns to the land of the living just as his Dad is about to tell him something important

Leonard, realising that the Hargreeve siblings know his real name and it’s only a matter of time before they find him and reveal all to Vanya, takes her out of the city and to a remote cabin in the woods - it’s like Vanya’s never seen a horror movie before.

It’s dark, they’re alone at a creepy lake and Leonard is more than a little insistent on Vanya tapping into her power - at this point I’m screaming at Vanya to see the red flags here, why isn’t she getting warning signs from how insistent he is on her having a power and figuring out how to use it while isolating her from her family? I know she’s had a tough life but come on. He takes her to dinner and when they get back to the car, there's a group of men there ready to start a fight over absolutely nothing. In Vanya’s desperate attempt to help Leonard, she inadvertently uses her powers and causes what looks like an awful lot of damage to the attackers. I find it hard to believe that this was a coincidence, she was struggling to tap into her powers and he knows they’re rooted in her emotions, Leonard hired them, I’m sure of it. When Vanya is allowed in to see Leonard at the hospital he’s wearing an eye patch - it was his eye Five found

There’s no real changes to Hazel and Cha Cha’s day which is unsurprising but it was interesting to see it from Hazel’s point of view. Instead we see the aftermath to Hazel knocking out Cha Cha, Hazel tells her he’s leaving and he hopes she can respect that, but Cha Cha makes it clear that she can’t stating that if Hazel doesn’t kill her she will kill him and Agnes - why is she so bothered by him moving on in his life, I never got any romantic vibes from them and no ones that bothered by a coworker or friend changing paths

Diego’s in prison, Five’s injured at home, Klaus is still sober and has some answers from their father he surely needs to share, Luther is high/drunk and continuing his party, Vanya is at the hospital with a newly eyeless Leonard and Alison is on her way to find her - the episode ends with the siblings all in very different places, in more ways than one - they all need to come together and fast if they have any chance of stopping the impending apocalypse

Extra Thoughts

I grow more and more fond of Diego every episode, him jumping through a glass window, when both Alison and Five had already found ways into the house and could have let him in had me laughing. The fact that the door was unlocked just made it better

Everything in the afterlife being black and white other than Klaus’s shirt was genius, but it was heartbreaking to see Klaus thinking he was going to see Dave but getting his Dad instead

I hope the story line with Diego being arrested goes away fast - it wasn’t surprising but was just unnecessary seemingly only there to separate the siblings

#tua #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #alison hargreeves #diego hargreeves #ben hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #pogo #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #hazel #cha cha #tua review #tv #tv review #review

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ferret-not-microwave · 3 years

Text

Les Amis Modern AU: What They Wish Others Believed About Them (Part 3).

[I kind of wrote this in response to some general trends in characterising the Amis. There are some stereotypes which I'm not quite comfortable with.

[Also, OMG I didn't think people would like these posts so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thaaaank you to all who gave the cutest hashtags, y'all are so encouraging!]

[Also, I'm sorry I just posted on R and Eponine today. :'(

Just have a lot on my mind. I'll write on JBM tomorrow, promise.]

Grantaire:

• He. Is. Not. Weak. Seriously, he could really do without those people who think he's a broken mess who loses absolutely every bit of self respect when he sees Enjolras. Just because Enj had shut him up with harsh words on like one occasion does not mean that he lets Enj or anyone walk all over him on a regular basis. He is NOT a doormat, not by a long shot.

• He could also REALLY do without those people with massive saviour complexes who swoop in to save him from the big, bad world. He accepts tons of help and love from the Amis, but will not accept any kind of pity service, damnit (and they know it). And it takes a lot of strength to plow through alcohol addiction to sobriety.

• He is pretty much a guardian angel in bars because of his history with addiction. He knows how much drink can a person take, and which drink they should avoid. With Bahorel, he hovers around the rest of them, snatching away glasses when the lightweights get too drunk, and replacing them with glasses of water. That he can box also comes handy. Sometimes. Heh.

• Not every point he says to oppose Enj is a cynical barb. And they don't always have screaming matches in the Musain. There have been many days of trading constructive criticism, because R has a lot of first-hand experience about the city. R usually knows the fine line between Enj getting combative and Enj getting hurt/frustrated, and has learnt not to say something so cynical that he crosses the line.

• Like everyone else, R is also learning. He is working on his prejudices, realises that some his past jokes were insensitive, sometimes even sexist or ableist, and actively corrects himself and others around him.

• Further, their relationship did not start with a dramatic makeout session mid-argument. Because both of them are on the way to being mature adults who know that aggressively displaying sexual tension is not the best way to start a relationship.

• It is not just Enj he's generally cynical to. He's cynical, that's it. And he does enjoy arguments with the others, where there's mutual exchange of knowledge, because he does not ever believe that the rest just parrot what Enj has to say. He has captured everyone's argument face in his sketchbook: Ferre waving his hands about, Courf's eyes widened mid-rant, Feuilly's eyes narrowed with a brief, brusque comment, Jehan's smiling like a cat who got the cream when their argument hits home, Bahorel thumping the desk in jovial agreement, Marius processing what he's hearing. He kinda likes Les Amis L'ABC too, not just the people there.

• While there are rough days when his self esteem runs sub-zero, there are days when he is super happy with himself. These are not exactly blink-and -miss either. The Amis cherishes his beaming smile when he defeats Ferre on Trivia Night, sings beautifully on Karaoke Night, paints an AMAZING picture of all the Amis in a protest and shows it off to all of them, cooks a meal which JBM raves about, and, on one memorable occasion, makes a V important point in a meeting that leaves Enj starry-eyed. There are things he hides from them because he's too shy and doubtful, but they are decreasing.

• There are days when he goes into a house-cleaning spree. Like the scrubbing tables-dusting-throwing out piles of trash-cleaning corners with q tips-kind of spree. Which leaves him so exhausted that he can't get out of bed the day after. So yeah, his place isn't always shabby.

Eponine:

• She is tough. She is blunt, and to the point. But she is not rude without reason, just to be edgy or something. And definitely doesn't throw around idle threats. Most of the Amis find her very pleasant, actually. She gives a small smile to everyone, cracks dry jokes, lobs scrunched-up balls of paper from across the room and fights with Courf for the caramel popcorn bucket. She doesn't yell to make a point, but speaks it aloud with a lazy drawl while fiddling with a rubber band ("Bull", she says, eloquently enough). To new people, she is just that shy and suspicious, so she doesn't really talk.

• The thing she wants the most is to feel safe. Hence she is often quiet, suspicious and moody. She feels really upset if people think she's horrible (or a "bitch", like she sometimes hears random people say about her) just because she cannot trust people enough to be all smiles and rainbows, even though she wants to be. She also feels really vulnerable, and is always scared that people wil leave her or hurt her once they know that she panics and cries a lot. She feels safe with the Amis, and many a times you'll find her as a sniffling burrito on someone's couch. THIS DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S WEAK, THIS MEANS SHE HAS A LOT OF SHIT GOING AND NEEDS RELEASE. -_-

• Her preference for dark clothes started because dark clothes seemed easier to maintain. She needed lesser amounts of detergent, and could stretch it out for longer before the inevitable laundry walk. She had actually asked Jehan for goth fashion tips to liven things up, and they had provided her optimal options (like dark lipstick). Still, she doesn't wear fishnets everyday, and just saves them for "special occasions".

• She is one of R's best friends. But no, she is not his personal babysitter. She doesn't go chasing everyone who she thinks has hurt him immediately, neither does she always haul him around when he's down in the dumps. She usually gives him sound advice, checks on him whenever she gets breaks between shifts, and if she cannot help, sends an Ami or two along.

• Her go-to way of showing disappointment in anyone is to send them a voice message stating exactly how they have fucked up (in an ice cold voice) and giving them the silent treatment until they fix things or apologize. Only once did she go nuclear on someone, no one wants to talk about it.

• Ep is a big sap. She does not really conceal her love of heart-shaped Valentine cards, pink roses and candles. Don't forget that she grew up in fair comfort tilll her preteen years, and she had exposure to much sappy media. While the Amis were surprised initially, she makes them take it in stride. She gets a strawberry cake every birthday, complete with pink balloons et al. (organised by Courf). She dreams of going to Disneyland.

• In the face of danger (men following her on the streets or something), her first response is flight, not fight. She knows that fighting can often make things worse, and cannot afford frequent trips to the ER. She can fight, though. She just doesn't want to until absolutely necessary, for self-preservation. She's brilliant at amateur first aid.

#les amis #les miserables #les mis #les miz #grantaire #eponine #modern au #both of them are sweet beans #love them both #ferret's freshly microwaved post

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spacedikut · 4 years

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pumpkin party ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x short f!reader

summary: “hi can i request a spencer x f!reader who’s like short (like 5 ft tall short hehe) w curly hair and uh they do like cute fall stuff together like pumpkin picking and halloween and baking and leaves and stuff ??? sorry if that isn’t specific enough i love ur writing ur amazing okay gn” 1502 words

a/n: here’s a kinda short terrible thing about pumpkin picking and carving w spencer because honestly nothing sounds better

masterlist

As sweet as the gesture is, you can’t help but stare incredulously at Spencer when he offers you his coat.

“Are you…serious?” You ask, eyebrow raised.

“Of course. Only for a few minutes, until you warm up a little. Actually, men are colder than women; temperature responds to changing hormone levels, so women’s body temperatures vary depending on the phase of their menstrual cycle.”

“Please don’t talk about my menstrual cycle when we’re at a pumpkin patch.”

“Right. Sorry.” He giggles, “But a man’s body temperature is often hotter near his-“

“Don’t! There are children!” You hiss, but can’t resist laughing along. You two are the only adults at the pumpkin patch without little ones running around, but neither of you seem to mind.

“Here,” He says again, “Take it.”

“Spence,” You sigh, “That jacket is gonna basically be on the floor if I put it on. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“How is-“ He starts, confused, before he realises you’re referencing your stark height different, “Oh. Yeah. Then I can’t help you.”

You should’ve known it was bound to get chilly at the nearest farm. Spencer asked if you were sure you didn’t want to bring a jacket, and you said of course, and now look at you. You’re surprised he hasn’t said, “Told you so!” yet.

“I did say-“

There it is.

You tug on his hand, interlocking your fingers as you start walking, “Let’s just pick our pumpkins and get out of here. I’m too excited about our new carving tools to wait.”

He happily follows along, both of you commenting on pumpkins and their appearances as you walk around – who knew Spencer could be so judgemental? – before one of you finds one you deem good enough.

You find yours first - ugly, slightly deformed, but that’s how you like them. It’s shaped more like a typical squash, elongated and thicker at the bottom, slimmer at the top. You love it.

Spencer usually likes the ugly pumpkins, too, so you’re surprised when he picks a near-perfect one from the bunch.

“I need another one.” He mumbles, set on his mission. He wanders around a little more, perfectly round bright orange pumpkin in hand, eyes dancing around the patch. “Another one…”

You tenderly grasp your squash-like pumpkin and wait patiently, watching him roll the second pumpkin he likes up his leg, to his hip, so he can heave it into his arms.

He only looks like he’s struggling a little.

“I can take one, if you want,” You offer, but he vigorously shakes his head.

“I got it, I got it.”

You watch him wobble towards you, clearly suffering with the weight in his hands, and can’t help but offer again. “Let me, Spence,”

He beams at you excitedly, “Love, really, I’m okay. Let’s go.”

He waddles by and you follow him to the front, keeping a close eye on him because you’re concerned he’ll drop to his knees. “We both know I got the muscle and you got the height.”

“I’m a very strong man. I can handle two pumpkins.”

You decide not to argue back, even when he lets out an obscene groan as he loudly dumps the pumpkins onto the cash register.

Not even when you hear him whisper an encouraging, “I’m a very strong man.” To himself before heaving the pumpkins back into his arms.

Or when he falls asleep in the car ride home.

+++

The tradition you and Spencer have, even before you started dating, is you wouldn’t tell eachother your ideas until the big reveal after carving. Spencer holds this tradition very dear to his heart, so when you start questioning him about his plans that involve two pumpkins, he is rightly offended.

“Why can’t you just tell me?” You laugh, lightly nudging his side as he lays all the tools out onto the table.

“Because!” His lips quirk up, stifling a chuckle, “You know, over one-point-five billion pounds of pumpkin are produced each year in the U.S.”

“Actually, I have a pumpkin fact for you.”

You’re grinning at him, a blinding smile that makes Spencer feel mushy inside. You look genuinely enthused, pure eagerness on your face as you bounce on your toes when you tell him that, for once, you have a fact for him.

He knows it won’t be new information to him, but he loves you so he’ll listen and pretend it’s his first time hearing it.

He loves you.

Holy hell, does he love you.

“Did you know…” You trail off, all dramatic and suspenseful and making Spencer go heart eyed, “The original jack-o’-lanterns were made with turnips and potatoes by the Irish.”

Yes. He does know that.

He raises an eyebrow.

“So you’re making a jack-o’-lantern?”

You guffaw. How did he-

“My guess is you were looking for pumpkin carving ideas, probably on Pinterest, and ended up looking at jack-o’-lantern ideas and stumbled upon some facts.”

Smugly, he hands you a carving tool while you stare at him, mouth agape.

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

“You suck.”

Quietly, he says, “You love me.”

And as you both get to work, you can’t help but think yes, I do.

+++

Spencer works at record-breaking speed. His first is done (and harshly discarded, you note) within thirty minutes, then he moves eagerly onto the next.

Even though the element of surprise is ruined, you work meticulously – you won’t let your literal hours of research (and practice doodles in your notebook) go to waste. Your tongue peeks out of your mouth, brows tensing and easing sporadically. Your whole apartment stinks of pumpkin, the innards of them building quite the mountain between you and Spencer.

Good thing you like the smell of it, you suppose.

“You nearly done?” Spencer asks, stretching after over an hour of being hunched over the table.

You purse your lips, “Yeah, I think so. What about you?”

He bites his lip when your attention is directed to him. There’s an anxiousness to him, beyond his normal jitters, and you wonder what he’s done. Will you have to have a serious conversation after this? Is he breaking up with you? Is he dumping you through a goddamn pumpkin?

“You go first.” He tells you.

“I assume I don’t have a choice?”

“Nope. Show me the jack-o’-lantern!”

You playfully groan, dejectedly spinning the pumpkin until it faces Spencer. He reacts with excitement, a pleased grin on his face as his eyes momentarily widen and his eyebrows shoot up. It’s a cute reaction. He’s cute.

“That’s incredible, Y/N!” He says, leaning in to look closer at the cuts and design. “We have to put it outside.”

“You think so?” You bashfully fiddle with the stalk at the top.

“Yeah! It’ll match mine!”

Spencer spins his first pumpkin, then, and it’s another jack-o’-lantern like yours but a different facial expression. You love it, reacting in a similar way to how Spencer did to yours – joy on your face as you exclaim a, “Whoa!” when you look at it.

“I think we’re spending too much time together,” Spencer jokes, “I was planning to do a jack-o’-lantern, too.”

“Great minds think alike.” You smile, and his heart flutters. “Now, the other one! Is it another-“

You move to turn the second pumpkin yourself, but Spencer’s hands stop you.

“Wait-“ He calls, removing your hands from his work. You look at him in confusion. “If you hate it, let’s just pretend it never happened, okay?”

“What?”

“Just- okay?”

You nod. After a deep breath, Spencer turns his second pumpkin until it’s directly in front of you. He gives you some seconds to take it in, read what’s written on it and process.

You take too long to process and Spencer starts panicking.

“Like I said-“

“Do you mean it?” You look at him, and there’s tears in your eyes, “Really?”

You look back to the pumpkin with ‘I ♡ U’ carved messily in it. Somehow, though just two letters and one symbol, you can tell it’s distinctly Spencer’s scrawny writing and it’s perfect.

It’s the first time he’s ever said he loves you. And it’s kind of weird, to do it through a pumpkin, but it’s so Spencer and God you love him too.

“Yeah,” He says, quietly, “Yeah, I do. I love you, Y/N.”

You jump out of your chair, straight into his lap, his arms immediately wrapping tightly around your waist. Your hands find themselves in his hair, tugging his lips to yours and kissing him with reckless abandon.

He giggles happily against your lips. It’s the best feeling in the world.

When you pull back, his hands flex on your thighs as you beam at eachother. Everything feels perfect.

“I love you too, you know,” You whisper, blushing.

He brings you in again, pressing feverish kisses on your lips, repeating the same sentence over and over, I love you I love you I love you I love you.

You repeat it back every time. And you always will.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #mine #u know when an idea in your head seems really good? and then u write it..

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years

Text

Stark Spangled Kinks

The Devil Wears Nada

Summary: Steve’s fed up of getting cock blocked during what was supposed to be bit of alone time and would make a deal with the Devil herself to get some alone time with his wife… Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT- (NSFW, 18+) Like seriously, if you’re under 18 get off my blog.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark.

A/N: This is possibly the filthiest thing I’ve ever written...and I’m not even sorry. It follows on directly from Bumps In The Night which was written by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork as part of Stark Spangled Banner’s Birthday Party. Give it a read, its wonderful!

SSK Masterlist // WIYPT Masterlist

Katie and Steve headed back inside, Katie diverting into the lounge to go and retrieve the candy off the kids before they ate too much of it in one sitting. Steve had to snort at the various cries of protests that rang round the lounge and his wife’s stern voice telling the three children in there that she didn’t care if it was Saturday, they weren’t consuming enough E-numbers to fuel an army before bed. He made his way into the kitchen and was completely unsurprised to find Bucky already had his head buried in the fridge.

“Make yourself at home.” He deadpanned and Bucky looked at him, thrusting a beer in his direction. “Gee thanks.” Steve’s dry sarcasm still present as he looked at his friend who was offering him his own fucking beer. Bucky grinned and shrugged as he passed one to Sam as well as he strode into the room, the three men popping the tops. Steve took a long pull from his as he eyed Bucky “Why are you here?”

“Rude much?” Bucky asked, his eyes still checking out the contents of the refrigerator. “We were concerned uncles…you weren’t with the kids.” “They were with Emmy and Queens” Steve arched an eyebrow “Perfectly safe.”

“They showed up on Tin Man’s doorstep.” Sam grinned “We were halfway through studying a couple of files and they basically swamped us and said it was their last stop of the night. Bucky thought it would be fun to come back with them.”

“To bug the crap out of me or…”

“I wanted candy.” Buck shrugged.

“Then you should have gone Trick Or Treating.” Steve replied “And let’s face it, with a face like that, who needs a mask?”

“Ouch, Stevie…” Bucky looked at him as Sam chuckled in the background, before he turned his attention back to the fridge “Oooh, your Missus made a cheeseboard.”

“What are you a fuckin’ mouse?” Sam asked as Bucky pulled out the platter, setting it on the side.

“Just ‘cause I appreciate the good things in life, Seagull and you can’t.” Bucky shrugged, unwrapping the film from the cheese. “You know, Steve was just like this growing up.”

“Yeah, well, now I have better taste and I’m also big enough to kick your ass so stop eating my food and go home before I throw you out.”

“What’s got into you?” Bucky looked at him.

“You’re disrupting my plans.” Steve said simply.

“What pl-ooooooh!” Buck’s question morphed into a noise of acknowledgment as he looked at his friend “Then you should have taken advantage of the empty house earlier.”

“School boy error, Cap.” Sam smirked and Steve let out a growl of frustration.

“Well our various attempts to were thwarted one way or another, and now you two punks are ruining it again.” Steve glared at them “Put the cheese back and piss off.”

Bucky smirked. “Imma tell Katie you’re being nasty to me.”

Steve narrowed his eyes knowing full well the soft spot his girl had for Bucky and Sam. If she got so much as a sniff he was being a bit of a shit to either of them he’d be in for it. “You wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?”

At the sound of his wife’s voice Steve jumped and turned to see her clutching the huge bowl that had previously contained their candy by the door and now sported the combined content of their kids’ bags, Harry toddling behind her, his eyes fixed on the prize.

“Oh this is gonna be good.” Sam smirked, leaning off to the side unwrapping a Reeses which he pulled out of his pocket, slowly chewing as if watching a movie.

“Hey Doll Face” Bucky grinned at her “Steve won’t let me eat the cheese.”

“Ignore him, you help yourself Buck.” She waved to it as she passed Steve the bowl of candy “Stop being so moody, stick that up high somewhere.”

“You know that won’t stop Jamie, Rori or him don’t you?” Steve looked at her as she picked Harry up who watched shrewdly as his dad placed the bowl on the top shelf of one of the cupboards “All 3 of them had scaled the refrigerator by the time they were 2.”

“No but it might delay them enough for us to catch them.” She shrugged, her eyes moving to Bucky who was eating a block of cheddar like it was an apple “Buck, do you want some crackers or…”

Bucky nodded but Steve cut him off. “No he doesn’t.”

“Yes I do.” Bucky smirked as Katie looked at Steve, arching an eyebrow at his unusually frosty nature towards his friends. She set Harry down on the counter by Bucky who grinned at the toddler, offering him his hand in a hi-five. Harry grinned and slapped his Uncles palm before he looked at the cheese.

“Absolutely not pal.” Steve said to him and Harry looked up.

“Dinosaurs don’t eat cheese.” Bucky shook his head at Harry who stared at him and blinked before he shrugged.

“But I hungry.”

“You can’t possibly be.” Katie looked at her son

“I am Momma.”

“Now look what you’ve done.” Steve glared at Bucky.

“Me?” Bucky scoffed, his mouth full “What did I do?”

“Set him off, look, why don’t you go and eat Jen’s cheese?” Steve asked and at that there was a pause before Sam, Katie and Bucky all burst out laughing. Steve groaned “Ok, that came out wrong.”

Sam snorted “that’s what she said.”

Katie laughed harder and Bucky grinned, swallowing his mouthful as Katie headed into the pantry. “Innuendo aside, I can’t. She’s got something going on at the coffee shop. Bunch of teenagers doing Halloween activities or something, I don’t know. She won’t be free until later.” He turned to Katie as she walked back in, handing him the box of crackers and he thanked her “So I thought I’d come see my best friends for a beer seeing as it’s not even half 8 on a Saturday yet.”

Katie smiled at him “You two are always welcome here, you know that. Isn’t that right Steve.”

Steve fixed a smile on his face and glared at Bucky who was positively beaming at the fact he knew he was being a cock-block. “Course it is honey, course.”

“Right my little Jurassic baby…” Katie picked Harry up and he giggled, the hood of his dinosaur costume falling over his eyes. “Bath time.

“No bath Momma” he shook his head furiously, looking up at her as she pushed the clothing back off his head “I have one tomorrow.”

Katie looked at him, “Your face is filthy.”

“Wash my face then.” He looked at her and Katie raised her eyebrows and looked at Steve who chuckled.

“Wanna help me out here daddy?” Katie asked and Steve looked at his son.

“Ok, how about momma washes your face tonight but you’re having a bath first thing in the morning.” Steve looked at Harry as his son considered it for a second. It was late after all. Skipping bath night one evening wouldn’t kill him.

“Deal” Harry nodded, holding his hand out. Steve shook it as Bucky and Sam both gave snorts.

“You need a hand?” Steve asked.

“No, I got it.” Katie shook her head “I’ll get him sorted. You can send Rori and Jamie up in 15 though.”

“Sure.” Steve nodded.

“Say goodnight Harry.” Katie said, turning round so Harry could see Sam and Bucky.

“Goodnight Harry” he grinned, before he cackled at his usual joke. The tot had no idea why it was funny, but when he had first said it, it had cracked both Katie and Steve up so now he seemed to say it every night. Bucky and Sam obligingly laughed as Steve dropped kiss to his son’s head, before pecking Katie’s cheek as she carried him out of the kitchen.

**** Half an hour later, after Rori had done one final parade around the kitchen in her princess cat outfit, beaming when Bucky had declared her the “prettiest kitty cat in all the world” and Steve had once more told her “no, you can’t have a real cat”, all 3 kids were clean and in their rooms. Harry and Rori were both tucked up in bed, lights off, whilst Jamie was watching TV with a warning from Steve that he had 30 minutes before it was time to turn it off. Steve knew Jamie would listen, it was part of the deal that he got to have a little time like that in his room as he was the eldest one now. Jamie took it seriously, knowing full well that abusing said privilege would mean it was revoked just as it had been a few weeks months when he’d been giving Steve some serious back chat and cheek. Steve had sent him to his room and Jamie had simply shrugged responding sarcastically “Fine, I’ll go watch my TV, what a huge punishment.” Steve had seen red and headed straight into the garage before coming back with a pair of pliers. He’d walked straight into Jamie’s room, cut the plug off the TV leaving his son staring at him, open mouthed as he breezed out of the room with a simple “watch it now, smart ass…”

The 4 adults were all sat in the lounge, sprawled across the various sofas with a drink each as the fire roared giving the large living room a cosy, homely feel. Stark was stretched out on the rug in front of the fire, snoring slightly, and the stereo was on playing a little background music whilst the rain pattered against the large ceiling to floor windows. Steve adored this time of year for precisely this reason. Katie snuggled under his arm, her back resting against him as she lay stretched out down the cushions, his arm looped around her crossing her chest. The hand that wasn’t holding her wine was gently rubbing over his forearm, her nails softly skating across the skin. Steve dropped a kiss to her head as they both listened to Sam who was recalling how Bucky had ended up with a load of candy stuck on the hand of his metal arm without realising, which he had then stuck in his hair when he’d run his hand through it.

“He cried like a bitch when I was pulling the gummy bears out.” Sam grinned and Steve tipped his head back, a huge laugh rumbling through his chest as Bucky glared at him.

“Punk.” He looked at Steve who simply smirked and took a drink from his bottle

“You know, I gotta say that these kids take it to the next level nowadays.” Sam swallowed a mouthful of beer. “I mean, some of those costumes are awesome. We saw a really cool Iron Man who had the reactor in his chest all lit up.”

Katie smiled “Yeah, Tony does seem to be a popular choice.”

“We got a Captain America.” Steve offered, not one to be out-done and Katie smirked to herself, “And by that I mean when it was me, or I was it, whatever. He may or may not have gotten extra candy.”

Sam and Bucky chuckled and Katie sipped her wine before she tilted her head back and looked up at Steve.

"At least we got no clowns this year..." Katie smirked and at the mere thought Steve shuddered and Bucky let out a huge snort.

"What...you're scared of clowns?" Sam looked at Steve but before he could answer Bucky jumped in.

"He ain’t just scared man, he's petrified. When we were about 8 and my folks took us to Coney, this guy dressed as a clown tried to give Steve a balloon and he ran away, but the best thing was…” Bucky leaned forward, his words coming between his howls of laughter “this clown kept doing it up until Steve was about 18 because he was so small and looked like a 10 year old.”

“Fuck you.” Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky as he and Sam fell about laughing. Katie kissed his arm and sat up, pointing at Bucky.

“Stop making fun of him…he was cute when he was a smol bean.”

“Thanks sweetheart.” Steve grinned, pressing a kiss to her head.

“Coulrophobia” Sam nodded sagely, “Quite common actually.”

“I’m not surprised.” Steve shook his head “They’re horrible. I mean, who on earth ever thought they were suitable as entertainment?”

"I dunno, it was kind of entertaining when Jamie dressed up as one.” Katie smiled and Steve physically shivered at the mere memory of that particular Halloween.

“Wait, what?” Bucky asked, looking at Katie and Steve groaned as he steeled himself once more to be the brunt of a joke.

“You seen IT?” Katie asked, “As in the newest one?”

Bucky nodded, grinning “A particular favourite of mine and Jen’s….although last time we watched it we kinda got distracted.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Katie snorted.

“Don’t wanna know,” she shook her head as Sam Hi-fived Bucky “but anyway, we had a Halloween party about 9 years ago at Tony’s. Emmy asked if she could be in charge of hers and Jamie’s outfits so we said yes. Little did we knows she’d had a little help from my dearest brother and just as we were about to set off…” she snorted and started to laugh “they come down the stairs and Jamie’s dressed in the BEST Pennywise outfit I’ve ever seen.”

Bucky’s face split into a huge grin as Katie continued to laugh, shaking her head. “So he’s toddling towards Steve and his face…” she stopped talking, as her laughter was now uncontrollable and she shook her head and Steve sighed.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is.” She stuttered, wiping her eyes. She took a deep breath “You stood there stock still, this look of utter horror on your face and I knew you were fighting the urge to turn and run…”

At that Bucky and Sam both burst out into laughter and Steve shook his head. “He was so upset when I wouldn’t pick him up.”

“You stopped the car at the top of the street because you couldn’t drive as you kept seeing him in the mirror…” Katie howled, tipping her head back in absolute, unadulterated laughter and Steve shook his head.

“You heard Sam, it’s a phobia…” he looked at her “I can’t help it, any more than you can about spiders.”

“Horrible eight legged bastards.” She shuddered as her laughter died down and she glanced up at him winking, as her voice dropped. “But you know the way to my heart…”

“Kiss you often, fuck you well, feed you snacks and kill the spiders.” he intoned, grinning as she chuckled “I know Doll, I know.”

**** Despite his best laid plans going to shit, Steve had to admit it was a nice evening as all 4 of them chatted and laughed but by the time Bucky and Sam left some 2 hours later, Katie had already gone up to bed about 15 minutes prior saying she was tired which meant Steve was now very doubtful he’d be fucking her well at all. Cursing Trick Or Treaters, counter surfing dogs, hungry babies and cheese eating, beer drinking friends he cleared the empty bottles off the coffee table and dumped them in the recycling before he let Stark out into the back yard so he could do his business. Steve stood watching him, the cold October air biting at his skin a little as he glanced up at the now clear sky, the rain having stopped roughly half an hour or so ago. He couldn’t believe it was November tomorrow. Another year almost done with. They were flying by, far too quickly for his liking. This year had marked 7 years since they’d reversed the snap and it still seemed like only yesterday since he’d walked away from it all and passed the shield to Sam, settling down into the domestic life he’d never dreamed in a million years he’d get. He was jerked from his thoughts when Stark walked back up to him, nudging his hand with his cold, wet nose and he smiled, petting the dog’s head as he walked past him into the little laundry room and sat obediently waiting for his paws to be dried. Steve shut the door, locking it and then towelled the dog down before the tan and white mutt shot off through the kitchen and into the hall. Steve heard his collar jangling as he bounded up the stairs to Jamie’s room whilst he himself made his way through to the lounge. The fire was still going, but he knew it would die down over night and he was just moving the grate to the front of it to avoid any embers spilling onto the floor when his ears picked up footsteps on the stairs. He instantly knew they were Katie’s and found himself smirking a little. Maybe he was gonna get a little frisky after all. And then he heard her walking across the hall and frowned, because it sounded like she was in heels.

“Honey?” he called, standing up straight and turning to see his wife leaning against the door frame, one arm extended above her head, the other hand falling to her hips as she looked at him, biting her lip. Steve felt his mouth drop open as he took in her appearance. She was indeed wearing heels, a pair of sparkly, high heeled red Jimmy Choos- her “Ruby Slippers” as Rori dubbed them, and his eyes scanned up her bare legs to the hem of the sheer, red negligee which finished mid-thigh. He could see the outline of a pair of matching, red lace panties underneath as he continued to take in her appearance. The top of the garment was low cut, her cleavage amplified somewhat as her breasts swelled over the lace cups and he swallowed as he felt his cock twitch whilst he simply stared at her, slack jawed. Fuck, she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his entire life and when she did stuff like this…Jesus.

He glanced at her face, her hair falling over her shoulders in waves and it was then he noticed that on the top of her head sat a pair of fake red horns. Steve’s mouth curled up in sinful grin as Katie gave a dirty giggle, her green eyes sparkling with mischief as Steve strode towards her purposefully, one thing on his mind.

“Read to sell your soul to the Devil, Solider?” she asked and Steve let out a chuckle as he stopped in front of her, his hands gripping her hips

“I sold it to you years ago, Doll.”

She grinned at him as he pulled her closer, his fingers curling against her gentle curves, tangling in the soft material of the negligee as he dropped his head to hers, kissing her deeply. Her hands smoothed over the top of his grey Henley coming to rest on his chest as he curled one arm around her waist, pulling her closer. At the feel of her pressed against him, Steve let out a soft moan

“God I’ve been waiting for this all night” he mumbled and Katie grinned against his lips.

“Well like I tell the kids, a little patience goes a long way Stevie.” she purred and Steve shrugged, his hands dropping to the back of her thighs as he easily lifted her, her heel-clad legs wrapping around his waist.

“And as you know when it comes to you baby girl, I have very little self-control.”

“Don’t I know it, there’s reason we have 4 biological kids.” she pondered for a moment and Steve laughed as her lips met his again and her hands raked into his hair, her nails biting gently against his scalp.

With steady strides, Steve carried her over to the spot in front of the fireplace where he gently set her on her feet and knelt in front of her. The light of the fire cast a bronze glow against her smooth skin and taking his time to simply enjoy the moment, his hands traced up the back of her calves to her thighs, his touch feather light as he reached up to her ass. He gave her flesh a squeeze before pulling her forward a little and her hands reached out to rest on his shoulders for support as he pushed his head under the bottom of the lace garment, nose skimming along the waistband of her panties. He peppered hot, open mouthed kisses across her soft skin, before he dropped his head lower and nudged his nose over her covered mound. She whimpered a little as he brushed her nub and her hips moved forward, seeking him out.

“Now who’s impatient?” He looked up at her and she glanced down, arching an eyebrow.

“It may have escaped your notice…” she took a deep breath “My self-control is also pretty non-existent around you too.”

“Well, I’m not one to keep a lady waiting” Steve smirked and in a swift movement he hooked an arm round her waist causing her to shriek a little before she laughed as he deposited her gently on the rug, caging her with his arms. He glanced down at her, brunette waves fanning out over the light grey and black of the soft tuft wool and leaned down, his nose nudging against hers.

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” she frowned a little, as Steve brushed his lips over hers.

“Good, now remember that. Because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Katie barely had time to register what he said before he’d moved down her body, hands skating up the outside of her thighs where his fingers bunched in her panties. With a sharp tug he’d snapped the elastic and tossed them to one side, grabbing her ankles and moving her feet so they were planted on the floor, the heels she was wearing caused her pelvis to raise up off her floor slightly. Without another word he pushed her knees apart and his mouth was on her, and he wasn’t holding back.

Katie’s body jolted as she let out a soft sigh of his name which was laced with satisfaction as he set his mouth to work, devouring her with the enthusiasm of a man starved, which in all fairness he was. He was low key horny around her all the time and he’d been sporting a fucking semi pretty much since the first time they’d been interrupted that evening. Having her so close yet out of reach all night so to speak had driven him wild.

His tongue licked, and lapped, flicked and curled over and over and Katie’s groans and pants grew louder and louder as he worked her into a frenzy. She curled the fingers of one hand into his hair, the other gripping at the rug underneath her as she arched her back even more, pushing herself against his face as her head began to spin. The contrast of his short beard scratching at her sensitive skin to his soft tongue and mouth was sending her entire body into overdrive and Steve could tell. He gently grazed her bud with his teeth, inserting 2 fingers inside her, both actions causing her hips to violently buck, her nails dug further into his scalp and he gave a chuckle which vibrated against her clit causing her to groan loudly.

“Jesus Christ Steve…” she panted, looking down at him. He peeked up from between her legs, a cheeky glint in his eyes which shimmered in the light of the fire, full of a blaze of their own as he continued, his tongue flicking at her entrance, before he sucked on her bud and then she was gone. Her legs trembled as her hand pulled his hair, almost to the point it was painful as she gave a loud cry, her other hand reaching to his head as she used both to push him away from her sensitive sex. He moved his head back but his fingers stayed exactly where they were, curling against the soft sponge of her walls as she clamped down around them, giving a little groan as she did, her legs flopping down flat on the floor. With a smug sense of satisfaction at having undone her to the extent he had, Steve pushed himself up, wiping his wet face with the back of his forearm and crawled over her, cupping her cheeks, kissing her again, his tongue tangling against hers. Katie moaned wantonly into his mouth as she could taste her arousal as his mouth dominated hers before he pulled back, his thumb and forefinger gently gripping her chin making her eyes open and lock onto his.

“On your knees sweetheart.” His tone was low as he used his Captain’s voice to issue the instruction, telling her not to argue. Not that she would, as mouthy and stubborn as she was this was the one area of their relationship in which she was always willing to surrender to him completely. With a graceful movement she pulled her legs back towards her and turned her body, rising to her knees, palms planted on the floor.

Steve pushed the waistband of his sweats and boxers down before he moved his hands to her hips, pulling her back with a swift action, placing one palm on the base of her back. With the other he took his throbbing cock in his hand, gave himself a few quick strokes before he lined himself up. With a snap of his hips he buried himself in her heat, balls deep, jolting her forward. The rumble from his throat slipped out of his mouth at the relief of finally being inside her, drowning her cries out.

His pace was relentless from the outset, just as it had been when he’d worked her with his mouth and his hands gripped her waist tightly as he drove in and out of her over and over, in fast, deep movements, pulling her back onto him with each thrust he made. He watched her face as her head fell forward between her arms, her bottom lip clamped between her lip, eyes closed in pleasure, those dirty little noises she made joined the sound of skin slapping skin as he did just as he’d said he was going to do, and fucked her hard.

It was raw, animalistic even, and a far cry from the usual way Steve liked to love on her but hell, it felt just as good to Katie as anything he ever did and after a particularly deep drive she cried out, fisting her hands into the rug, as she felt him bend over her, his large frame crowding hers from behind.

“God you feel so good baby…” he groaned, his chest was pressed to her back, his mouth nipping at that spot on her neck as she felt the heat pooling in her belly again. In an almost automatic movement, her head rolled to the left, allowing him access to her neck where he nipped and sucked at her skin, her gasps growing louder as he continued to thrust. “So fuckin’ good…”

As he spoke, Steve reached up and wrapped one large hand around her neck, tipping her face round to his so he could kiss her. It was all Katie could do to kiss him back, allowing him to control the pace as she was completely gone, the sensations lancing through her body had left her totally pliant to his ministrations.

“Captain…” she panted softly against his mouth as Steve gave an almost pathetic whine at the sound of that name slipping from her throat as he continued to push into her, driving deep before he stilled, his hips flush to her ass. Katie gave a squeak as he rotated his hips, letting go of her neck and pushing himself back up as his hand slid down her body, between her legs drawing a long wail of delight from her mouth as he fondled her bud, “Shit…I’m…Steve I’m gonna...”

“Go on, come for me baby…” he hissed, his jaw clenched, the sweat beading on his brow as he rutted forward again, once more grinding against her “Give it to me, let go…”

With a last, loud, filthy lament she came, hard, her knees almost buckling, but Steve’s arm quickly looped around her waist holding her up as she blissed out completely, the entire world fading around her as she felt nothing but the familiar hot, warm pleasure as her abdomen contracted and relaxed as her walls spasmed around him over and over.

“Good girl.” he praised as he continued thrusting through, the heat in his own belly now beginning to spike even more, “Such a good girl for me.” Katie preened at his praise, relaxing slightly as he bent over and kissed her neck once more, picking up the pace slightly. And then, she pushed back suddenly catching Steve off guard, sending him sprawling onto his back. She went with him, his cock still stuffed inside her, her back sliding on his chest as he continued to fuck up into her, his knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Katie’s head fell back against his shoulder, her face tilting to kiss his as she lay on him, legs spread, feet planted either side of his hips. His hand crept over her stomach, dipping into her folds as his fingers and palm furiously toyed and played with her, brushing against his shaft as he rocked in and out of his wife.

“Steve…” she whined “I can’t…it’s too much…” “You got one more in you.” he all but growled, “I know you do. And I’m taking it, whether you want me to or not.”

True to his word he continued his unyielding assault on her senses and before long her breathing had risen and his name was slipping from Katie’s lips in that familiar staccato pant. She gave in, and this time the climax almost feeble but still just as pleasurable as she fluttered around him. At the feel of her round him, and the sound of the exhausted, sultry groan she let out into his hear Steve was done for, and with a final, violent buck upwards he came, biting down gently on her shoulder, muffling the noises of satisfaction and pleasure that rolled from the back of his throat.

The pair of them lay still, chests heaving and Katie licked her lips, eyes closed as she waited for her body to gain some form of control over itself. After a little while, she felt Steve’s hands gently slid up her side to the outside of her arms, giving a gentle rub as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“You ok?” he asked.

Katie hummed a little and grinned, tipping her face round to look at him “I’ll say…that was…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded, the pair of them chuckling. “It was worth the wait.”

Katie’s head lolled back against his shoulder and she closed her eyes again. Not wanting to move just yet, the feeling of her lay over the top of him whilst he was still buried inside her was too nice, Steve wrapped his arms around her front as he shifted slightly so he could press a kiss to her lips. She wiggled her hips a little and he gave a low grunt at the sensation and he looked at her as she arched an eyebrow.

“You want more?” he asked, his voice low and she fixed him with a look that was half suggestive, half apprehension as to whether she could actually take anymore. Steve grinned and pressed his lips back to hers, the kiss deepening as he felt himself starting to grow hard inside her again, and just as he had pushed her up into a sitting position, backwards on his lap, the security system sounded and the front door clicked open.

Katie’s head turned back to look at him over her shoulder, both faces sporting expressions of utter horror as Emmy and Peter’s voices drifted up the hall.

“Shit…” Katie jumped up, glancing down at herself as Steve scrambled to his feet, tucking himself into his pants, hastily yanking at the crotch in an attempt to make them a little less snug, so to speak.

“Give me your shirt…” Katie hissed and he reached over, grabbing a fistful of it in his hand. Yanking it over his head he tossed it to her and she shoved it on over her skimpy little outfit, before she kicked off her heels, and she’d just smoothed her hair down when the door to the lounge opened. Emmy and Peter stopped dead. Peter hastily turned away as Emmy’s eyes roved over Steve’s shirtless form, then to Katie who was stood in his Henley which thankfully was big enough to cover her body down to the middle of her thighs, hiding the red lace garment underneath. Whilst they might have hidden their modesty for the most part, there was no hiding the fact both of their faces were flushed with exhaustion and sexual gratification…nor was there any disguising the fact Katie was stood with her legs crossed in a desperate attempt to stop Steve’s release from dribbling down her leg. And then just to make it even more obvious, Katie’s shredded red lace panties were dumped in the middle of the floor right by her discarded heels…

“Jesus Christ…” Emmy mumbled, backing out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Katie and Steve glanced at one another, and Katie burst out laughing at the look of utter horror on Steve’s face.

“Cheer up Steve…” she patted his chest “Could have been worse.”

“Seriously?” he blinked “What could be worse than basically being caught in flagrante by our daughter and that boy?”

“Ok, first off, his name is Pete…and actually I can think of a few things.” Katie shrugged, bending down to pick up her shoes and her destroyed underwear “Had she come in like 2 minutes earlier she’d have caught us in a much more compromising position…or even worse than that, we could have walked in on her.”

“Doll, just don’t!” Steve held his hand up, giving a groan.

Katie laughed and made her way to the door. “I’m going upstairs to clean up and get in bed, can you bring me a bottle of water up please?”

Steve sighed and nodded, watching her go. Taking a deep breath he wandered into the kitchen were Emmy was stood scowling, leaning against the kitchen counter as she glared as his topless form, Pete hastily averting his eyes.

“You two are disgusting.” Emmy shook her head “It’s bad enough hearing you in your bedroom but…fucking hell Dad!”

“Watch your mouth Emily.” Steve said sternly as he felt the heat rising in his neck. He made his way to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water before he straightened up. “We weren’t expecting you back so early.”

“Clearly.” Emmy arched an eyebrow.

“You know what?” Steve’s temper flared a little “This is mine and your Ma’s house, and well, frankly, we’ll do what we want, where we want.”

At that Peter gave a little cough and pushed himself up off the counter, “I’m gonna…yeah…” he said, pointing to the utility room door “I’ll be in the cabin Em.”

Neither Steve nor Emmy paid him any attention as he scuttled off, the door clicking shut behind him.

“Dad!” Emmy spluttered, her face in her hand as she shook her head “That was so embarrassing!”

“Well it wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs for us either you know Em!” Steve groaned “Like, seriously, why did you even come in here anyway? You don’t need to come through the house to get to your annex!”

“We were hungry.” She whined, “Mom said she’d leave us something in the fridge although frankly, now I’ve lost my appetite.”

Steve wiped a hand over his face before he shook his head, taking a deep breath “I’m gonna go up to bed. Can we just forget this happened, please?”

“I’d love to.” Emmy practically growled as she made her way towards the rear of the kitchen. “God, I need to scrub my eyes with bleach…once you’ve finished using it to mop wherever you were…you know.”

Steve arched an eyebrow and that little devil on his shoulder reared his, or her as the case may be, head and he couldn’t help the sarcastic response as it flew from his mouth “I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but I’d need a lot of bleach to wash down each surface of this house I’ve had your mother on.”

Emmy’s mouth fell open and she looked at him, before she let out a loud groan. “You’re disgusting. Like, I can’t even…”

She shook her head and hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. Steve shook his head, watched as the security light clicked on whilst she stormed across the back garden to her little annex and with a chuckle he made sure the door was locked and turned off the lights.

All in all it had been a damned good day now he thought about it. He’d carved pumpkins with his kids, seen them all have a great time, eaten Italian, drunk beer, chatted to his friends, fucked his wife exceptionally well and now embarrassed his eldest.

“Mission accomplished…” he snorted to himself as he took the stairs two at a two, padding across the hallway and entering his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

#stark spangled kinks #steve rogers #steve rogers x original female character #katie stark #stark spangled is 1 #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers smut

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ohnothewheatisonfire · 4 years

Text

ok J&H Fandom, let’s talk:

“Popular” blog @thatsmyhyde is a prominent creator in the J&H Fandom. But here’s where the problem shows up:

the content they make is concerning at least, and full of red flags at worst.

DISCLAIMER: This is all information I have gathered through their tumblr blog - I am not aware of what other things they may be posting on other social medias or their written work. ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Please be polite, I am a minor, and am just creating this post to ward off / warn other minors from following this person. If you are an adult interacting with this post and blog, be mindful of your actions and be responsible

Trigger warnings for: discussions of homophobia, discussions of p//phillia, fat-shaming, fat-phobia (?), etc. Just be on general edge for this post, we’re talking about a lot of weird stuff

I will be linking their posts as I am not going to take screenshots of their art.

This is not a comprehensive list of all the things they’ve done - these are the ones I could think of and was able to adress. If you have anything additional you want to add to this post (such as concerning things they may do on other social media), feel free to reblog and add on the things you need to say, just please don’t be dumb.

Let’s start with the premise: Henry Jekyll creates an alter ego, Edward Hyde. They begin a relationship - an emotional and physical one. Their AU features Jekyde (A popular ship in the fandom, the name stands for Jekyll x Hyde), people have various views on this ship.

So far so fine, right? Here are the problems:

1. Their Henry Jekyll is an awful person. Now, let’s start by saying that of course you can have bad people in your works, those are, after-all: villains. The problem is,Henry Jekyll is a harmful walking gay sterotype, and an outlet for Biscuit’s obvious fat fetish. But their relationship isn’t just toxic it’s romanticised in how toxic it is.

a. The harmful stereotype - Their Henry Jekyll has a “thing” for younger men, even though he is in his middle-ages, and Hyde looks like a young child. (Age gap relationships are their own thing - they come with their own burdens, and this is not the post to discuss them. This topic will lead into the Edward Hyde section of this post.) But, it was a known homophobic scare-mongering tactic of straight parents to accuse everyone who is gay that they are ‘out to prey on your youths’. This is a stereotype that stigmatized the LGBT community, and still harmfully affects them to this day.

b. The fat fetish: Jekyll is frequently seen with cake (as seen here, here, and here) or being self-loathing, to the point of suicide. (click the link here to acess a list of suicide and other crisis hotlines! you matter to me!). Now, the self-loathing could be a symptom of depression or other mental illness, so I am not going to talk about it, as a person with mental illnesses. But the self-loathing in addition to him being fat is not good. Media is drowning in the “self-loathing fat person” and as someone who isn’t thin i’m tired of seeing this.

- The fetish aspect comes in him constantly being referred to “Chonky”, a term usually used for overweight/obese cats and being drawn obsessed with cake. It fetishises his weight and dehumanises him into something people call their animals. Also, here’s more of Jekyll eating food and being embarassed by it, though this time because it’s seen as “servant’s food”.

- Biscuit admits to liking them “Big and chunky” in posts like this.

[Photo id: A string of texts that says: tantok, frankenstein, twink lore, dorian slipped through the cracks and got himself sketched by yours truly the other day because he brought lord henry along, he and the slime didn’t have to fight to the death because they’ve both got their own chonky old toxic henries to focus on, but this blog still ain’t big enough for the two of ‘em. end id]

- They also talk about how they ‘prefer’ to draw fat (chonky) people. Image attatched above. the thing that should be noticed is that they say ‘chonky old toxic henries’ . they, once again, are making fat people a fetish.

[Photo id: Anonymous asks: are you gonna make a victor design tho biscuit responds: Oh, man, anon, I hate to disappoint but.....probably not. Aside from my non-humanoids and hellspwans (slime gremlins, corpse creatures, and etcetera), I’m extremely uninterested in drawing young thin men. I really need middle-aged chonk to hold my attention. If poor Victor Frankenstein had only been 40-something and round when he made his great creation, then he’d definitely get a design from yours truly. As it is though, he’s not holding my attention enough to want to. end id]

Biscuit once again talks about how he doesn’t want to draw ‘thin men’, because he is only interested in older ‘round’ people. He, is, once again, bringing to light his fetish for fat people.

2. Edward Hyde is basically a child - Edward Hyde is drawn in boy’s school clothes, is taken in and raised like a child after Jekyll’s death, and is constantly cooed over by the creator, even earning a nickname of ‘slime’ from them. In addition, he also has ‘family photos’ taken with Utterson, has his toenails kept, is the height of a child, and teeths. This, paired with the fact that he is in a toxic, abusive, relationship with a man in his middle ages is concerning and should not be romanticised.

[Photo id: the text reads: In his first year of existence, Hyde lost teeth and regrew them in a mildly similar fashion to a kid losing baby teeth - except it wasn’t all of his teeth (Just the canines and some random molars) and they weren’t replaced with a larger set, just with teeth exactly the same as the ones that had been lost. No one knows what was up with this. the teeth are still in Jekyll’s study in a little jar. end id]

a. Hyde is treated like a child after Jekyll’s death. Hyde teething is concerning because that’s something infants do. He also clings to utterson like a child. The idea that he gets taken in by Utterson, whisked away to an estate out in the country, despite both of them having romantic feelings for Jekyll is. how do I put this: WEIRD. (seriously, imagine your father/father-figure dating ur significant other / having a crush on them before you two got together and after).

b. Hyde dresses like a child, whilst being sexually active and wearing lingerie. Now, on their own, these traits aren’t a problem - but together? They are very much a problem.

- Hyde dressing as a child is concerning because he is also treated like a child at certain points in their “lore”. After Jekyll’s death, Hyde becomes a singular entity, and is taken away by Utterson. To care for, like a child. This post sums it up well: he wears both children’s clothes and lingerie.

- Hyde has a very strange appearance - if you compare it to his early design (which was less cartoony and looked more like a man in his twenties), Hyde’s current design is concerning. Why does he have the height of a child? Why does he have eyes that take up a grand part of his face? Now, one could argue that ‘he is not human’ - but if he is treated like a human, whilst wearing children’s/youthful clothes, teeths, and his general enchanment with the world - he appears as human (and looks eerily similar to a child), which is why him being sexually active, wearing lingerie, and being friendly with prostitutes (one that gave him underwear and other articles of clothing) is concerning.

- That said, Utterson is directly talked about being ‘adopted into gremlin fatherhood’ (paraphrasing).

[Photo id: the text reads: 59. Jekyll is irresitibly attracted to everything about Hyde, but if he could somehow be forced to list hte most attractive physical attributes of Edward Hyde in his opinion, aside from Hyde’s youthful appearance in general it would be his eyes, his overbite (Jekyll perceived the way Hyde’s-) the screenshot cuts of the rest of the paragraph. end id]

- Jekyll has a ‘thing’ for younger men. This is to the point that the most attractive part about Hyde is that he is young. (or looks like it), Hyde looking very young is concerning because that would make their verison of Doctor Jekyll a p*dophille . This is something the artist has either not recognized, realised, or simply does not acknowledge.

3. The toxic relationship (and how it’s romanticised) - The relationship in this ‘AU’ is: love comes first, toxic nature comes second. If you scroll through the blog you may see some reference of ‘Henry Jekyll is such a toxic person teehee’ and a lot of them kissing, being together, smiling, or enjoying life. Now, obviously, an artist - if they do not want to - should not draw characters being toxic to each other. But it is concerning when the above points come into a factor, that the toxic nature of their relationship comes second to the highs of their relationship, at least on their blog.

Here is one of the only examples I’ve seen of Biscuit talk about the relationship in a detailed negative light.

4. The fandom - Whilst Biscuit says it’s ok for minors to interact with his blog (in that blog he says that he tags nsfw - which is true.) he does not regularly mention that his jekyde is toxic - not in a concerete way. He romanticises it (despite acknowledging it’s flaws), and the only way it may or may not be (i would not know) acknowledged is his fic: which is mature and not meant for minors. He does not tag his posts with regular triggers for things like: alcohol, drugs, mental illnesses, or abuse (any variants). They’re not even in his blog’s description! If Biscuit had acknowledged it in his blog, something along the lines of: “Hey! This blog has <content warnings> be warned when interacting! But no, he does not.

- A lot of the people who draw things, or generally interact with Biscuit are minors. Being exposed to such a thing may be harmful to my peers, and I am worried. To minors who are fans of Biscuit: if you’ve made it this far, thank you, I know you’re mature and responsible, but being exposed to content creators like Biscuit could lead you down a dangerous path of having this kind of thing normalised to you. Be careful with the content you consume, please! And thank you for making it this far, I’m sure you’re a lovely person :)!

Thank you for taking the time to read this! Stay safe, tell the people you love that you love them.

#J&H #jekyll and hyde #henry jekyll #edward hyde #i spent months thinking whether or not to write this #but #i'm worried about fellow minors on this website seeing this user's blog #and not thinking critically about this #so i snapped and made this #long post #like r e a l l y long post #i am so tired.#brb to answer the hate lmao i need to throw up #forgive me if by the end of this post i sound exhausted : i am #i spent this evening writing this post #goth lit fandom grow up challenge #aus do not remove the context of the original #listen to the minorities if they call you out #fiction REALLY AFFECTS REALITY

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themalhambird · 3 years

Text

Growing Up Broken: I Talk About My (A)sexuality For 4 ¼ Pages.

I am asexual.

No, this doesn’t mean that I’m some form of plant budding off copies of myself if I get enough water and sunlight. It’s a shame. I could do a lot with multiple copies of myself- get someone else to do the dishes, the cleaning, my schoolwork…

I am asexual.

Asexuality is the absence of sexual desires or feelings for other people. I say absence deliberately: sexual attraction is not something that I lack or am missing. I am not going without. I’m just a 23 year old who has never once felt the desire to have sex with another person, who couldn’t describe how it feels to “fancy” someone if there was a gun to their head, who thinks women and men and anyone in between can sometimes be stunningly beautiful, would possibly be nice to cuddle- but kissing on the mouth seems like it would be a really weird thing to do.

I am asexual, and it’s almost Pride Month, and so I want to untangle some of the thoughts in my head and spin them out on to paper, to try and lay out my feelings about my sexuality, or lack thereof, and what it’s like growing up when no one bothers to tell you that not experiencing sexual desire like, ever, is a thing. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

It’s 2014. Puberty has doing stuff to me for the last two years or so: periods (urgh), breasts (neat!), underarm hair (why do I have to shave this? no one’s gonna see it), growth spurts (I’m getting taller than my older sister. I want to keep going till I’m taller than mum). The only thing not happening is wanting to have sex, something the nurse who came to Talk To Us All About Growing Up back in 2009 assured us Year Sixes would definitely happen as soon as puberty hit.

Still. It’ll happen soon, probably. Sixteen is still a bit too young to be having sexual feelings, right? The boys…really not interesting at all, but the other girls are pretty. I like their hair. I like the shape of their bodies. I just don’t fancy any of them. When we’re told to imagine our future husbands or wives in class (don’t ask my why, I’ve long forgotten the point of the exercise, I just remember that) I picture a wife.

(Lesbian is the first label I apply to myself. I stick it on tentatively- keep peeling it off my shirt and putting it back somewhere different like I’m not quite sure where it fits. It’s not wrong, necessarily. I’m just not certain it’s right. I like girls a whole lot better but I’m not saying I could never love a guy. I’m just not attracted to them. I’m not attracted to women, either- but I feel like I will be. When I’m old enough to feel that kind of thing. )

Sex Ed lessons are mortifying. We’re asked to list all the sexual terms we know on an A3 sheet of paper. I don’t know what half the things other people say mean- blowjob, 69, masturbate, porn . I don’t know how other people know these things either. We’re sixteen. It’s too young.

That summer I play Sebastian in an abridged version of Twelfth Night and it convinces me to take Drama at A-level, although I didn’t at GCSE. The drama classes teach me two things. First of all, I don’t like acting women. I prefer breeches rolls. I don’t know why. We’re talking about my asexuality, not my gender confusion, so let’s put a pin in that and move on to point two. My drama class teaches me that everyone my age is having sex, or wants to have sex, or is planning on having sex soon; sex is a constant, every class, every conversation. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. So apparently sixteen (seventeen) isn’t too young after all.

It’s like this. One day you wake up and you realise that everyone else is speaking a language you don’t understand. Suddenly, sexual feelings aren’t something that no one your age is having but you’ll all develop soon- it’s that sexual feelings are something that everybody your age is having apart from you. People your age are dating, kissing, fucking, and it’s not something you’re interested in doing, necessarily, but you still feel so horribly left out. Like you’re missing some kind of major milestone. You try not to let it bother you- you watch Buffy every Monday you get to see your dad. (You watch loss of virginity be portrayed as growing up). You read. (The books you pick up all involve love and love always seems to at least imply sex). You- google things. You google the words you didn’t understand in that sex ed class. You google “how to tell if you’re attracted to someone” in case there’s some secret signal your body sent you that you missed. You feel like you should know if you’ve ever felt sexual attraction but then maybe you’re just really, really dumb. Maybe there’s something wrong with you. The NHS website reckons that if you’ve got a low sex drive you ought to see a doctor. The girls in your drama class keep talking about boys and sex and sex and boys and you aren’t really interested in either of those things. You cling to the thought, lesbian and hope that when you get to university, you’ll stop being so repressed. Girls are pretty- but the ones at school are either your friends or kind of mean. Of course you don’t fancy anyone there. University. University will save you. (Boys are sometimes pretty too. There are boys at school whose personalities are nice enough- who are the type of man you wouldn’t mind dating one day maybe- but you can’t ever picture yourself having sex with one. Dicks seem weird and really not the kind of thing you’d want inside you. I mean for fuck’s sake- why? You can’t even get a tampon in.)

I don’t like looking back on this. Sixteen, seventeen year old me was starting to get pretty freaked out. I like looking back at the first year of uni even less, because if seventeen year old me was freaking out, eighteen year old me was buying alcohol. That’s how it goes, right? Sex and alcohol. You see it all the time on T.V. Fictional people get fictional drunk and fictional cheat while they’re on fictional breaks with their fictional partners. David Tennant is pretty. A man at work is handsome and more importantly intelligent, into Shakespeare, into good conversation. The label switches from lesbian to ‘bisexual but heavily skewed toward women’ and I cling to that as tightly as possible because after that, I’m out of options. It is impossible that I’m not feeling sexual attraction: the whole world screams about sexual fucking attraction all the fucking time, I’m obviously just too uptight, I obviously just need to relax-

I once drank a whole bottle of wine in what was essentially one go. I paused for breath, but that was about it- I don’t think I even bothered with a glass. My goal was to get myself drunk enough that I could feel sexual attraction. I thought that the best way to go about things- to finally ‘grow up’- would be to get super drunk, and then leave the flat and find someone who would screw me. I reasoned that I would enjoy it once I was doing it- after all, the whole world pushes sex as this wholly desirable thing for any normal adult to want, even need- so I would like it once I was doing it and then I would be fixed. Fortunately, drinking a whole bottle of wine when you’ve never had more than a single glass of champagne or a couple of glasses of rum and apple juice before in your life gets you past “lowered inhibitions” to “can’t walk straight or upright” very quickly. I got as far as the bathroom, threw up, a lot, and staggered back to my room. I woke up at 3 pm the next afternoon feeling stupid for drinking, and mad at myself for still being a virgin.

I had a lot of problems in my first year of university and not all of them were about my sexuality crisis. I was isolated, fairly friendless, and not really cut out for socialising with my housemates who were probably all lovely people, but I find new people painfully difficult and hiding away seemed easier. But the feeling that there was something broken inside me because I wasn’t experiencing what everything seemed to be telling me was one of the most vital parts of the human experience- sexual attraction to other people- contributed to my general feelings of self-loathing and disgust. I attempted to induce sexual desire in myself by drinking on several further occasions, although never quite to the same extent as the first time. I’m not sure whether this counts as self-harm, but it certainly wasn’t healthy.

I didn’t know asexuality was a thing.

I knew I wasn’t straight- I’d known that for a while. I learnt that I enjoyed reading, talking, even writing about sex, as long as it was sex between people who weren’t real, but fantasising about fictional characters having sex and fantasying about myself having sex are two very different things. The former happened fairly frequently. The latter didn’t happen once, and still never has. My second year at university was better than my first: I was living with friends, I was further away from campus which meant I had to walk more, which probably helped, I had also started to make several friends online with whom I could happily chat even when I wasn’t in the mood for ‘actual’ people. I used bisexual to describe myself because on the rare occasions I thought about romance, I couldn’t really see myself ruling out anyone who was willing to put up with me.

I’m not quite clear when I first heard the term ‘asexuality’. I became aware of it gradually. Someone I followed on Tumblr identified as ‘grey-ace’. Characters from my favourite fantasy series were being headcanoned as ‘asexual’. At some point I must have learnt properly what that meant.

It sometimes feels like there ought to have been a lightbulb moment- like I should have seen the word, seen the definition, and instantly seen myself. But it is very, very hard to delete the message- ‘sex is important- sex is what grown-ups do- sex is what you should want to do’ – that the world constantly sends to us: in advertising, in entertainment, in the conversations of a drama class that always circled back to that topic, to the detriment of the sole seventeen year old who wasn’t really bothered. To embrace asexuality seemed like I was giving up on trying to fix myself, on waiting for the right person to come and make everything better. On the potential of their being a right person. I can wrap my head around people having casual sex very easily. It’s romantic love without sexual desire that I’m scared won’t work- how am I supposed to know if it’s love without there also being physical attraction? No romance arc that I had ever seen was without an element of sexual tension. So, no lightbulb moment for me. No switch going off- “aha, at last, that’s what I am!”. Just a gradual thought washing across my mind every now and then, like the tide rushing up a patch of sand and drawing straight back, leaving only dampness to show where there had been a good half-inch of water only a moment ago.

I might be asexual?

And ‘I might’ becomes ‘I think I am’, and the tide starts coming in. ‘I think I am’ became ‘I am’ at some point or other.

I am asexual.

I find reassurance in knowing that there’s a word for what I am, for how I (do not) feel. I am asexual. Not broken, or damaged, or too uptight to properly feel, or too dumb to recognise what I do feel. I am asexual- I have an absence of any sexual desire for others and that’s perfectly okay. I might fall in love one day. I might not. I don’t know how you’re supposed to know if you have the capacity to fall in love before you find yourself doing it. It might be nice to have a wife. It would also be nice to have a cat. I could cope with it just being me, a cat, and good friends for the rest of my life. If I fall in love- if I am capable of falling in love- it will just mean I am asexual, but romantic, and I will have learnt something new about myself. The point is-

The point is, I am incredibly lucky that I stumbled across Asexuality before I got myself hurt trying to force something that wasn’t there. The point is, this world assumes that sexual desires are the norm, and maybe they are, but that just makes it all the more important that people know that they aren’t abnormal for not experiencing sexual desire. To all the people who need to hear it: You are not broken. You are not alone.

I’m not sure how to wrap this up. I feel like I should say something profound or something. But I think I’m just gonna leave it like this:

I am asexual. Asexuality is the absence of sexual desires or feelings for other people. I say absence deliberately: sexual attraction is not something that I lack or am missing. I am not going without. I’m just a 23 year old who has never once felt the desire to have sex with another person, who couldn’t describe how it feels to “fancy” someone if there was a gun to their head, who thinks women and men and anyone in between can sometimes be stunningly beautiful, and possibly be nice to cuddle- but kissing on the mouth seems like it would be a really weird thing to do. I am not broken. I am not ‘going through a phase’ or ‘looking for attention’ or ‘trying to be special’. Everyone’s special, fuck you. Knowing that I am not the only person to feel how I feel makes me feel like I’m standing on solid ground. May all people experiencing the same confusion and distress over their sexual orientation that I felt growing up find their way safely to the same solid ground: you are not broken. We’re not broken.

#asexuality #wow this got long #no i haven't proof read it i just wanted to get it off my chest #discussion of sex tw #alcohol tw #self harm tw #(mostly just in case I'm not sure if it counts or not)#I don't know what this is except a long winded account of growing up asexual when you don't know that's a thing and how you cope with that #or- y'know- don't cope with that #maybe someone else will find it helpful or relatable idk

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randomoranges · 3 years

Text

tonight i went on my evening walk with my mom and ran into a student and her family. she lives on the street behind mine. it was a pleasant chat but as we went our seperate ways, i made the comment about how strange it was and how can u imagine if id been wearing some shirt with a curse word or something

and it made me think. about the teacher persona and how the line btwn teacher and private life are often blurred together. what would a reaction be if it was Something Even Bigger - what if i was kissing a SO of the same gender - what if i was wearing such and such clothing - doing this - at this place - existing in a context that is other than teacher?

the incidents mentioned are real. stories that have been on the news. teachers whove posted bits of their real lives that then lost jobs, despite never doing anything wrong on the job.

the colleague bit is also true. it happened at the school i work at a few yrs ago.

anyways.

thoughts and such

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

It’s a perfect night out for a walk and so, after dinner, they put their shoes back on and head out, taking advantage of it being Friday night and not too brain dead. There’s a gentle breeze announcing the upcoming end of summer and the first soft tendrils of autumn and it’s nice – a good break from the oppressive heat of a few weeks ago.

Étienne, as always, links their arms together and chatters away as they walk. Edward is happy to listen and offers insight when needed.

They’re halfway through their walk when they hear a loud “M Édouard?!” and Étienne let’s go of Edward’s arm on instinct.

A few steps later, it turns out that the voice belongs to one of Edward’s students and she’s out walking with her parents, the family dog and her sister.

The girl is excited to see her teacher not at school and then nearly does a double take when she realises that M Étienne is also out walking with M Édouard.

There’s polite chitchat that goes around – general comments from the kids, pleasantries from the parents and all the while, both Étienne and Edward put on pleasant smiles while one recurring thought runs through their head. Are they still safe?

They hadn’t been doing anything untoward, but even if the girls hadn’t noticed anything, surely the parents must have seen that they’d been walking together with their arms linked.

Étienne hates that he’s bothered by it, while Edward wonders if this is going to turn into a thing.

“Do you live nearby?” The mother asks and the question is open enough that they can save face if they want to.

But do they?

There’s nothing criminal to what they’d been doing. An evening walk just like this family. They had lives outside of work and what they did after school shouldn’t matter to anyone. Yet, for some reason, Étienne and Edward both feel as though they’d been caught red handed committing some heinous crime and the feeling is nauseating.

“Other side of the bridge, that ways about,” Edward motions with his hand and his student exclaims that her house is that way as well, because of course it would.

As it turns out, they live on the street right behind them and Étienne marvels at how they’ve never run into each other before.

The sister asks where he lives and Étienne laughs, thankful for the innocence of children. Because, obviously, two men walking together at night would not be living together.

He’s relieved.

He’s also a little saddened.

Disappointed, really.

Étienne gives as vague as an answer as possible and satisfied, the girls chatter excitedly amongst themselves, while the adults wrap up the conversation and then leave, wishing each other a lovely weekend.

Once they resume their walk, Étienne can’t find it in him to link their arms together and Edward takes an extra step to the side. They walk, silent, lost in their own thoughts, and it’s only once they’ve crossed on the other side of the overpass that they glance in each other’s direction.

They share a look that seems to ask if any of what had happened was real, and finally, Étienne cracks first, a desperate chuckle escaping. Edward joins soon after, a full on nervous laugh and soon, both of them are wheezing at the absurdity of the situation.

It is both a coping mechanism and unwinding, but when they finally catch their breath again and resume their walk, it feels less loaded. Edward steps back close and Étienne lets their hands brush together, until he wraps a finger around Edward’s own.

“Perhaps we should move. Change names. Jobs. Leave the country.” Étienne offers, only a little serious.

“I’m honestly surprised it took this long for us to run into a student.”

They look at each other again and fall silent, contemplating the situation.

“Do you think the parents know? Or the girls? – Do you think this will get out?” Étienne voices the questions that had been burning both their minds and the fears that come with it. It’s one thing mentioning in the school agenda that discrimination won’t be tolerate against religion, skin colour and sexual orientation, but it’s another to put it in practice towards staff. There’s a million and one different ways to make it look like they’re being canned for something different, if the school wants to.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know and I don’t know what would be worse. God – and we weren’t even doing anything bad.”

That’s the problem with teaching. There is no such thing as a “private life.” They’ve heard the stories. One “bad” photo on social media and a career finished. One bad day that leads to dismissal. They’re lucky they have elementary students, but still.

Edward remembers the horror fiasco that had happened a few years ago to a colleague of his. An innocent video that had been cut and changed look as though his colleague was saying hate messages. It had blown out of proportion. Parents had been frightened. The police was called. Interventions were made. The man left the school, on his own terms, deciding it would be best for him and the school. Even though he was innocent. Even though his words had been taken out of context. Even though he’d done nothing wrong.

Would this happen to them?

It’s a sobering thought.

Yet, Edward isn’t ashamed of who he is. Neither is Étienne. They are proud of who they are. They believe people should be allowed to be themselves.

Then why is it that they feel such fear?

“I guess we won’t know until Monday,” Étienne says, trying to be reassuring, “We’ll play it by ear and hope for the best. As you said, we weren’t doing anything wrong.”

“Yeah – you’re right...” He falls quiet for another moment and then lets out a frustrated puff of air, followed by a short laugh, “At least we weren’t in a strip club,” He says, trying to be light.

“What?”

“When I was doing my internship. One of the teacher’s at the school, he told us of this anecdote. He’d gone to a friend’s stag party at a strip club. And one of the stripers was a student of his – I forget if she was a current or former student. He was mortified, but she recognised him and went right over, calling out to him as if there was nothing wrong. I mean – there’s nothing wrong with working in a club, but the relationship dynamic makes it a little awkward. Or – I would feel awkward. I wish I had her level of confidence though – not be afraid that a student seeing us together might cause a minor scandal and our jobs,” He adds as an afterthought.

Étienne reaches for his hand again, gives it a squeeze and then links their arms together. Edward sags against him and is happy when they turn on their street, close to home, where it’s safe.

“We’ll be fine – whatever happens, we’ll be fine.”

Edward wants to believe him and hopes Étienne will be right.

It’s a different evening, days and weeks and months and maybe even years later. Different yet similar. Another late September evening with a gentle breeze and the promise of autumn to come. It’s night time by the time they go out for their evening walk and it’s a little chilly – a perfect excuse for Étienne to link their arm with Edward, as they’re often known to do.

They chatter away, about one thing and the next, and Edward is happy to listen and provide feedback when needed.

They’re halfway through the walk, when they hear a shout of “M Édouard?!” and approach the voice, Étienne never letting go of Edward’s arm.

It’s a student from Edward’s class, who is surprised to find his teacher out for a walk and not in a school setting. He’s with his own family; parents, an older sibling and the family dog. The kid does a near double take when he notices Étienne and can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that he’s run into two of his teachers outside of school, even if he thinks it’s cool.

The adults exchange polite conversation and eventually the older sibling asks if they live close by. This time, Edward does not shy away from his answer and says that yes, they both have their place not far from here, on the other side of the overpass.

Both student and sibling seem amazed, remarking on how they live literally a block away from there. Étienne laughs, commenting on the smallness of the world, and telling them to come by their street at Halloween, to get candy – at the house with the haunted garage.

The kids’ faces light up, eager and excited, and the older sibling knows where the house is – having gone a few years back and how cool it had been. Amused, the adults wrap up their conversation, and after wishing each other a pleasant weekend, both groups head their own way.

FIN

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #au #fic #teacher au

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writer-jamie · 4 years

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Whiskey and Hidden Feelings - Joel Miller x Reader (Part 2)

Summary: Whiskey and hidden feelings don’t mix well. Joel was about to learn that the hard way.

Warnings: Spoilers from tlou2, mentions of sex.

Tag List: @peakymarvels @miss-goldenweek @samdrakeftw @fangirl-inthe-us @apocalypsekid @imahardcase

A/N: I’ve decided to make this a series, i’m not sure how long it’s going to go on but it’s going to be at least 3 chapters! I will write some smut in this series but i need a reason for y’all to come back right 🤔 I hope you enjoyed! I will be including more of Y/N’s backstory in chapter 3 and there will be more conflict and shit to come! See you soon!

Masterlist!

You had taken Joel up on that drink, and multiple after that. Ellie would sit at the bar and watch your little ‘dates’ as she liked to call them and would insit you tell her everything after them. She stopped walking you home when Joel started doing so. Dina told her to stop cockblocking you so she did. Dina is..is a special one. One drink led to another and you two were always leaving the bar pretty drunk but you didn’t mind, it was just the way you two worked.

Joel would meet you outside work and walk you home, after all it wasn’t like he had anything else to do. If you were in the normal world, he would be the type of guy to meet you after work for coffee and a cake. He was fucking perfect.

The best part was Ellie. She enjoyed your company anyway but with you being with Joel, she had more of an excuse to hang out with you. She spent most her nights sleeping over at your house and basically lived with you. But she would always complain when you and Joel were all lovey dovey. But what hurt Ellie the most was that you and Joel weren’t being exclusive. You would sleep with Steve most nights, mainly for some comfort during the nights and because Joel, even when you invited him inside, would leave with a kiss. You thought he just didn’t want to have sex, but Ellie knew it was because he didn’t want to scare you off. Every time Steve would show up at your house, she would tell him to fuck off and leave you alone but nothing ever worked, and you were still sleeping with the man. Nothing ever worked.

—————

You crossed your legs and sat on your bed and ran your fingers along your arms. You touched the rough skin around the litter of scars from years on the run. You leaned over and grabbed your water, taking a sip before watching Ellie walk up the stairs. “Hola Señorita!” You smiled and grabbed the hot drink from her. “Can i see your tattoo again?” She crossed her legs and joined you on the bed. “Why? Needing inspiration?” You joked. She nodded and you looked at her seriously. “Hey not until you are eighteen. I don’t need Joel turning around and blaming me for your tattoo ‘inspiration’.” You laughed and moved your arm, allowing the girl to see it. It was a flower and a bird crossed together. She loved it. “What does it stand for? Like why did you get it?” She asked, moving back to get comfortable. “It was my dad’s favourite bird and flower. He was a gardener before this shit.” You explained.

“How old are you?” Ellie mumbled and looked down at the floor. “Well that’s rude. You shouldn’t ask a woman her age, Els.” You giggled before sipping on your drink. “I’m twenty seven.” You raised your eyebrows at the girl. Ellie snorted on the drink and laughed loudly. “My birthday is in October. I turned seven just before all this shit happened. I'm not looking forward to thirty. God I'll be so olddd.” You groaned and dramatically leaned backwards, putting your arms on your stomach. “Thirty isn’t old. Try being Joel. He’s like seventy!” Ellie laughed and laid down next to you, resting her cup on her stomach. “He’s not that old.” You poked her side and looked up at the ceiling.

“You’re only saying that because you fancy him.” Ellie turned to face you with a shit eating smile on her face. “I fancy his cute butt.” You laughed and looked at the girl. Her face turned from a smile to a grossed out expression as she realised you were serious about it. “You two are so fucking gross.” She turned onto her stomach and grabbed her notebook from her backpack. The girl scribbled in her book and looked at you before sketching you surrounded by flowers. The same flowers as your tattoo.

The room fell silent and the soft sound of the wind outside hit the small house. The whistling of the wind was a sound that often helped you sleep on restless nights. You looked around at the empty walls of your house. You had nothing to decorate with so why bother? Anyway, who knows you might need to pack up and leave suddenly. At least that's what you have been telling yourself for the past eleven years. You wanted to feel secure and you finally felt safe at Jackson. Well as safe as you can feel. The safest you‘ve felt since your dad died.

“Are your parents still alive?” Ellie asked after a minute of silence. You sighed loudly and looked at Ellie. “No my dad died a few years ago and I never knew my mother.” You moved positions and sat up again, stretching your legs out. “How? Didn’t your dad tell you about her?” You shook your head and reached underneath your bed, finding your box of things. You grabbed the box and put it on your lap before rummaging through, looking for the photo album. “Ah ha!” You shouted when you found it. “This...” You opened the book on a picture of you and a middle aged man. “Is my dad. My rock.” You showed Ellie. The girl took the photo album into her hands and tilted her head, looking intently at the photo. “My mom was an egg donor. I never met her. I was made in a test-tube and put into my surrogate, my dad’s best friend, Susan.” Ellie looked at you with utter confusion, like everything you were saying was from some alternate reality.

“My dad was gay. He liked men and because men can’t have babies alone, he and his partner at the time decided to get a surrogate to be able to have me. It was expensive as hell but my dad he..all he wanted was a child of his own. Thats why I look so much like him, because he is my biological dad. My mom is just a number on a board, I’ve never met her and couldn’t care to. After all, Susan carried me for nine months, not her.” She turned the page and saw a picture of your dad with a heavily pregnant lady. “Susan?” She asked you. You nodded before turning the page, showing her a photo of your dad holding you when you were newborn. “My dad named me after his favourite member of the band at the gay club he used to visit. My dad used to live the life.”

“On Outbreak Day, I was at the beach with my dad and one of his partners. As the Runners crowded the beach, I watched Paul get his throat ripped out. My dad rushed us out of there and back to his car as fast as possible. I was seven at the time.” You played with the skin around your nail. “But you’ve probably seen worst things, right Els?” You asked rhetorically and put your hand on her shoulder with a caring smile. “Anyway! Back to the happy memories.” You smiled and turned the page.

—————

The warm lights of the bar hit your face as you opened the heavy door. You looked around and saw the usual patrons of the bar as well as people preparing for the night. You wandered over to the bar and decided to actually look at the photos on the wall. You were on about three of them. One of them was a photograph of you and Ellie months ago when you had a girls night. Another was of you, Steve, Dalia and Roger, all dancing during the ‘adults only’ event. That’s was when you and Steve were going steady. And by going steady you meant sleeping together every night to make someone else jealous. For you it was Joel, for him it was Kira. The last photo was of you, Maria, Tommy and Joel. You smiled and watched as Frank turned on the bar lights, beginning his long night. “Hey Frank.” You smiled.

You pulled down the skirt on your dress as you sat down on a bar stool, running a hand through your hair and fixing your jacket on your shoulders. You hummed and looked at the clock behind the bar and saw the time. He was late. You ordered your usual whiskey and sat waiting for Joel. You watched as all the couples came into the bar. It was very typical for a Friday night. All the couples who had kids would come in on a Friday because some people volunteered for a kids club and would look after the kids all night to allow the parents some peace. The older kids would just stay home and sneak out, including Ellie.

You saw Tommy and Maria walk past with a smile on their face as they said hello to the patrons of the bar. Tommy put a hand on your shoulder as he walked past, giving you some comfort. You looked at the door and watched as Joel walked in, greeted by Tommy who gave him a pat on the shoulder before the older man looked around for you. Once he spotted you, he walked up behind you and put his hands on your shoulders, placing a quick kiss on cheek. “Sorry i’m late. Ellie needed something.”

“I though Joel Miller was never late?” You laughed and turned to face him, putting your hands on his chest. He was breathing hard. He must have ran here. He took your drink from behind you and drank it in one gulp, looking down at you innocently. “I’ll get you another.” Joel took your hands in his and stood you up, looking at you outfit. “Woah.” He smiled and you blushed, pushing him away gently before kissing his neck. “Let’s find a booth.” You told him before walking away, leaving him behind watching you.

After many more whiskeys and vodkas, you and Joel were getting more handsy and more tipsey. You were basically sat on his lap at this point, playing with his hair on the nape of his neck and leaning into his shoulders, getting as close as you could. You wanted him to make the first move. To kiss you first. Tell him he liked you first. But Joel is as stubborn as a mule so he would never admit anything first, or take initiative. So when a romantic song game on, you grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him up and to the floor. “Don’t go shy on me now Miller.” You mumbled and looked around, seeing how everyone was staring at him. After all, nobody had ever seen him on the floor before.

“You don't have to go now honey. Call and tell 'em you won't be in today. Baby there ain't nothin' at the office. So important it can't wait.”

You moved forward against Joel, wrapping your hands around his neck. The music slowed down as all the couples made their way to the floor. “Y’know you are reaaaal pretty up close.” You mumbled into Joel’s ear as he put his arms around your waist. “Y’know you are drunk?” He smirked at you as you swayed to the music. “You are a good detective, Texas.” You mumbled. Joel looked at you with wide eyes. “You good?” You asked, leaning your head against his chest. “Sorry. Someone i used to know called me that.” You took a deep breath. “Tess. Tommy told me about her.”

“I'm thankful for the weekend. But two days in heaven just ain't gonna do. This is gonna take forever darlin'. Girl I just got started lovin' you.”

Joel nodded and held your hands close to his chest, rocking you two back and forth. “You are a good dancer, Joel. Why did you hold that back from me for months?” You smiled and closed your eyes, enjoying the quietness of the situation, although it’s pretty loud in the bar tonight. Joel looked down at you and smiled, pressing his warm cheek against your forehead.

“What's the point in fightin' what we're feelin'. We both know we'll never win. Ain't this what we're missin'. Let's just stop all this resistin' and give in.”

You pulled away and put your hand back around his neck, playing with the long pieces of hair. You adored his hair. “Hey cowboy..” You mumbled as your eyes adjusted to the warm light. “Hey.” You looked around to see all the other couples sharing a kiss. “You wanna..put those lips somewhere? Or are you just going to continue talking trash?” You pressed one of your finger to his lips. Joel clicked his tongue and looked into your eyes. “Depends. You gonna stop sleeping with Steve?” You frowned and looked at him. “Depends. You going to give me a reason to stop?”

“Let me wrap my arms around you. You know you don't want to leave this room. Come back and let me hold you darlin'. Girl I just got started lovin' you.”

Joel leaned forward and pressed his warm lips to yours. It wasn’t your first kiss with the man and you prayed it wouldn’t be your last. He was soft and gentle when he needed to be and rough and dominant when he needed. You pulled away once, but you immediately went back for more and the again. You tried to make sure you weren’t making out too much in the middle of the bar but with Joel, control wasn’t a thing. You smiled against his lips when his prickly beard tickled your face and neck as he kissed you gently. Then you said the one thing he had been waiting for since the day he laid eyes on you.

“Take. Me. Home.”

You breathed heavily when he pulled away. Joel didn’t need to be told twice. The two of you stumbled away from the floor and grabbed your coats before sneaking out the back door like a couple of teenagers. The walk back to your house was a short one, and one which you two walked many times. But this time, it was a walk back with a purpose. You stumbled to open the door as Joel pressed small and needy kisses to your exposed neck. You were giggling and smiling as you finally opened the door and rushed upstairs. Joel laid you down on the bed and showered you with kisses, running his hands up your thigh and into your dress.

“Slow down Cowboy, we got all night.” You moaned and kissed him deeply.

—————

The sun shone down on the small lake. You hopped off your horse and grabbed her reins before walking up to Ellie. “So you can swim now right?” You asked, putting your bag down next to your horse, Reign. You watched as Ellie took her shoes and jumper off and nodded. “Yeah! Me and Joel have been practising more. But I'm glad you are going to help me!” Ellie smiled as she jumped into the lake. “HOLY FUCK IT’S FREEZING!” She yelled as she popped out of the water, making you laugh loudly. You quickly changed out of your top into your vest before jumping into the water after her. You popped out of the water and brushed your hair out of your face. “Ellie! It’s so fucking cold!” You yelled and grabbed her shoulders. You kicked your feet around underneath the water, trying to warm up and stay afloat.

“Ok! Ok!” You took a deep breath. “Let’s work on diving and keeping those peepers open!” You smiled and dove underneath the water, grabbing Ellie’s feet. The girl laughed and held her breath as she went underneath and stood next to you.

“Ellie? Y/N?” Joel yelled as he walked around the corner, seeing the two horses tied up nearby. “Joel! We are in here!” Ellie yelled out and splashed in the water, ensuring Joel knows where they are. He turned the corner and saw the two girls in the lake, with soaking wet hair. “What are you two doin’?” He asked.

“Swimming!” Ellie laughed loudly and swam to the edge of the lake where you were sat, your legs dangling in the cool water. You were drying off for the ride back but ensuring you kept an eye on the girl. After all, you were the adult in this situation. Joel walked up behind you and kneeled down, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck. Ellie groaned and covered her eyes. “Gross.” She swam in a circle. “Hi.” He smiled and put his hands on your shoulders. Before you could say anything, Joel had pushed you into the water. You popped up and looked at him. “Hey Asshole!” You swore and flipped him the bird. “I’m sorry. I had to.” You shook your head and grabbed Ellie’s hands, swimming around with her.

“Joel! Get in. The water isn’t freezing at all.” Ellie laughed before splashing near the man. “No way kiddo. I’ll put my feet in but that’s it. We can have a lesson next week.” Joel stuck to his promise and took off his shoes and socks, rolling up his jeans before he sat down, putting his feet in the water. You watched as he splashed Ellie from the sidelines, like a dad watching his kid play football. A smile spread on your lips as you swam over to him, sliding between his legs and putting his hands around your back. You pulled him down into a kiss and with one big pull, Joel was in the water with you. He popped up to the surface and stared at you. “Oh yeah you are so dead!” He yelled, swimming after you and Ellie, involving her in the conflict.

“I WASN’T EVEN INVOLVED!” Ellie screamed as Joel caught up to her, splashing her and tickling her sides. You stood behind Ellie and watched as the two came up with a plan. “Get her!” Ellie shouted as they came running, well swimming, towards you, splashing you and soaking your top half. “St-Stop!” You laughed, putting your arms around Joel’s neck, holding onto him for safety. “He’s the one you need to be saved from!” Ellie laughed and splashed you both, laying on her back.

“Hi.” He looked at the side of your face. “Hi.” You turned to face him and looked into his eyes. “I’m still going to kill you.” Joel threatened. “Yeah yeah. Who else would be your drinking buddy?” You smiled, hugging him tightly.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #tlou2 spoilers #tlou2

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arshipweek · 3 years

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AR Ship Week - Fanwork Recs

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This is the fourth and last weekly post in the lead up to Alex Rider Ship Week. Only 1 week to go!

This week we’ve got a selection of shippy fanwork recs submitted by members of the AR fandom. Enjoy and hope to see you next week!

**Please note that I haven’t listed all the details for the fics so take care to read the tags on AO3 before diving in!

Yassen/Alex

Our Endless Numbered Days by Galimau Just your run of the mill heartwarming look at the quiet beats of Alex and Yassen's relationship...after the apocalypse. Soft and sweet this fic focuses on the very still and quiet moments of two men at the end times trying to hold onto the things that bring them joy. It's an intimate view of what Alex and Yassen's life could be like of all their cares were quite literally wiped away - excellent world building and writing make this a must read.

Yalex art by Ireliss Alex and Yassen in a lake! Everything about this picture is perfect - the light, the colours, the feeling of stillness... Probably the most beautiful picture of Alex and Yassen I've ever seen.

Sun Poisoning by fElBiTeR Angsty, beautiful, slowburn soulmate fic with a twist on the usual tropes and gorgeous imagery

Twisting, Turning, Tumbling by ShiruyTheSecond A glacially slow burn, road trip au, and sick fic all mashed into one fic, in non-chronological order based on 100 themes. I'd say this was one of the gateway fics into Yalex for me; there's nothing like reading a longfic you thought was gen and wishing it were slash, only for the realization to hit you in the face like a brick 50 something chapters later. Alex is on the run for a variety of reasons after a mission for MI6 goes spectacularly wrong, so he surprisingly finds himself leaning on Yassen for help, experincing whumpage along the way. Absolutely delicious.

Specific Performance by BurntWhisper Alex is a good spy, good enough that SCORPIA has tasked Yassen with killing him. Yassen can't do that but he can give Alex a very...enthusiastic going away present even Alex hasn't been a very good boy. It's a fun look at Alex and Yassen's first fling with callbacks to the original gen fic. That hits every perfect note and hits a few other things too.

Interlude by Suzie_Shooter Incredibly soft and fluffly Yalex that ends with an unexpected top!Alex and bath sex. Will absolutely warm your heart the way it does mine every time I read this fic.

Medicine by Suzie_Shooter The other fic in response to the prompt of "Alex is given a serum that makes him feel good when he tells the truth" except this one is praise kink while the other is humiliation kink! Specifically focused on a smoking hot blowjob and Alex's reluctance turned enthusiam, plus, there's a second chapter, just in case one dose of the antidote isn't enough.

One Year by BurntWhisper The slowest of slow burns featuring Alex and Yassen on the run from MI6, SCORPIA and their own feelings. Covering 3 months of their life on the run this fic features action as well as the slow, quiet moments where the budding relationship can truly shine through and behind it all the intelligence world continues to grind on threatening to take their happiness with it. It's a beautiful fic with strong, detailed writing and the emotional weight that it deserves.

Midnight Smoke by Hijja If you're in the mood for darker fics with plenty of Yassen hurting Alex complete with violence and heavy dubcon, Hijja has you covered. This particular fic features a mission-type premise with Alex being sent to investigate a spate of teen abductions only to be captured. Yassen is there, and he has his own goals...

Hello Alex by anonymous Fanart: a reunion hug between Yassen and Alex.

Face The Truth by capeofstorm Alex is given a serum that makes him feel good when he tells the truth. Yassen is absolutely a man to take advantage. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Lights Out by Suzie_Shooter Yassen and Alex left tradecraft behind for a new life in the Greek islands. Ten years on, their relationship is still going strong and they've become island locals, the proprietors of a sailing club and a windsurfing business. Their idyllic life is disrupted by a new threat that wants them dead. I just love the premise of Yalex riding off into the sunset and not looking back. This fic not only has suspense, action, hot sex, and the intimacy borne of ten years...but once you're done, there are two excellent sequels and a prequel to lap up!

Villa in the Sun by BoldAsBrass A multi-chapter story within a story as Yassen and Alex keep in touch over the phone through a tale of a Russian bodyguard's encounters with a young English man. This is so cleverly done and beautifully written; I could re-read it and re-read it (in fact, that's exactly what I've done).

Sting in the Tail by Suzie_Shooter With the world hanging in the balance, MI6 presses an imprisoned Yassen into service. They use Alex to convince him, but also a nasty "sting in the tail" incentive to guarantee results. A thrilling Yalex mission!fic where Yassen and Alex forge their trust in each other by facing mortal danger and saving the world together. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, eating up the slow burn and wondering how on earth they were going to succeed with all the obstacles Scorpia and MI6 threw in their way.

Rarely Pure And Never Simple by fElBiTeR Non-con > dub-con > fuck-yes-con speedrun. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Just Say I Do by Nanimok I'm possibly biased because this was written for me, but 'woke up married' is a great trope and this is both snarky and adorable. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Open Invitation by Suzie_Shooter After Ian's death in TV 'verse, fifteen-year-old Alex is living alone in a depressive, self-destructive spiral. He realizes someone is watching him at home...and decides to give them something more compelling to watch. I am squicked out by creepers, but the characterizations tackle the thorny elements head-on: Yassen's mixed feelings and understated pursuit tactics are 100% believable, as is Alex's volatility; he's alternately confused, provocative, and defiant. Exhibit A:“Does that make you a victim, or a slut?” The question came casually, but it had the unexpected sting of a slap. Alex blinked. “What, I can’t be both?” he countered after a second. Plot ensues, because how can a relationship possibly form from such a premise? Mind the tags (you might trip into your next kink because the sex is mind-blowingly hot).

Flirting with Danger by BoldAsBrass Basically THE gateway fic into Yalex for me - short and sweet, snappy narration and dialogue, a sleekly dangerous Yassen and Alex who might be a skilled, pragmatic adult but quickly realises he's in over his head. Sprinkle in a bit of dubcon and scorching hot writing and you get this perfect fic.

Burning a Dead Man's Fingertips by GreenQueenofClubs Multichapter slow burn, MI6!Yassen AU - an excellent premise done extremely well and feels fresh and new, balancing mission-style fic with character development! The dynamic between Yassen and Alex is somewhat different here compared to most Yalex fics as they don't meet until Alex is an adult; a really intriguing glimpse into what could have been...

A Little Pat Down by Nanimok Airport security can be frustrating at the best of times but couple it with being edged like none other by an assassin turned security guard and it can really be a pain in the ass. A filthy but extremely well written premise. Crack taken seriously is this author's strong suit so not a single one of their works will steer you wrong.

Yalex Ballet AU by anonymous Yalex ballet AU with absolutely gorgeous imagery and slow burn. Fluid prose and in the background, the shadows of past histories and things unsaid.

Gentleman's Agreement by Valaks Yassen and Alex have a "gentleman's agreement" for handling their business in the field. No one ever said anything about parent-teacher conferences. Claims to be gen, but deserves a place on this list for subtle genius alone, because with lines like "Like a fine wine, Alex Rider was improving with age" and "How interesting that Alex Rider would be that interested in his hands", what are we supposed to think....? UST in all caps is the best description.

Salty the Sweat on my Fingertips by Galimau A fun little romp of Alex visiting Tom and having to call his overly protective boyfriend? because he's pregnant and everything hurts. Beautifully written, this fic explores the ending of Oceanbreeze7's Moonfish and follows the extremely creative monster biology to its logical conclusion of Alex getting knocked up.

Slipping Through My Fingers by Nanimok This kink meme fill hits in all the right places as we watch through the eyes of a very jealous Julius as Yassen gives Alex all the attention he needs. The writing is, as always, on point and the characterization of Julius gets absolutely nailed (almost as much as Alex). Julius/Alex, Yassen/Alex

Other

Miss Julia by DantesThird Very creepy and traumatic noncon but really believable with Julia Rothman's obsession with John Rider. Alex/Julia Rothman

gone loose inside the shell by cyanides Fantastic messed-up fic where Julius keeps fantasising about killing Alex, but then the fantasies take a different turn. The possessive 'If I can't have you no-one can' dynamic really encapsulates the ship for me, and the fic stuck in my mind afterwards. Alex/Julius

smoke haze by Ireliss Dubcon, gun kink. A really intriguing and quite dark exploration of a young Yassen's situation with Scorpia and his very complex relationship with Hunter. John/Yassen

Our Settling Bones by Galimau A multi-chapter slow burn focused on a former assassin who has lost everything...and Yassen Gregorovich. The tension is off the charts and the characerization is on point. Everything you could want from the rarest of pairs. John Wick/Yassen

Lemniscate by Ireliss A look at what awaits Yassen when he arrives back at Scorpia after killing Vladimir Sharkovsky. This is deliciously dark as well as being entirely plausible. The sensory descriptions are fantastic. Yassen/Julia Rothman

#alex rider #ARshipweek #yalex #....#.....#mod posts #recs

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foxghost · 4 years

Text

Joyful Reunion, Chapter 14

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 1, Chapter 4 (part 2)

Though he misses Lang Junxia, Duan Ling has gradually understood something: perhaps if his father didn’t come, Lang Junxia wouldn’t have left.

Some will come and some will go — it’s just like how Lang Junxia described it himself. You can’t have all the good things that happen in the world; one will always have regrets, one way or another.

A lot of things feel like they were pre-arranged for him by the heavens itself.

Not without astonishment Duan Ling realises that if he ever has questions about any of the books he’s reading, as long as he brings them up to Li Jianhong, he can almost always answer them. On top of that, while his answers are wholly different than those the headmaster comes up with, they do not contradict his other interpretations, leaving Duan Ling little option but to be persuaded.

“Dad, didn’t you tell me that you didn’t get much schooling?”

“Life is limited, knowledge is limitless.2” Li Jianhong answers, “Who can truly say they’re well-read? All one can learn are bits and pieces. The more you know, the less you understand.”

Duan Ling only half understands, but he nods anyway. Today, he has flipped through his books for a while, and now he asks, “Dad, Confucius said that a gentleman reveres three things. What does that mean?”

“First to revere fate, second to revere the ruling class, third to revere the words of sages. A wretch who does not know the inevitability of fate would not know he should revere it..”

“Revere doesn’t mean fear.” Li Jianhong gives an impromptu explanation as he looks out into the courtyard, “It means to respect. Only by honouring one’s fate can one find shelter.”

“And what does fate mean?” Duan Ling asks.

“Everyone has something that they must accomplish in their lives, and that is decided from the very moment they are born. Some are born to farm, some are born to fight in wars, some are born to be the emperor. There are all kinds of fates, endlessly dissimilar.”

“But how am I supposed to find out what my fate is?” Duan Ling asks another question.

“It makes perfect sense for you not to know,” Li Jianhong puts down his bowl and heaves a sigh. “Dad doesn’t know either. Independent at thirty, confident at forty, knows one’s fate at fifty, said Confucius — we’re not supposed to find out until we’re fifty.”

“Isn’t that too long?” Duan Ling doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Yeah. We spend the first half of our lives bumping about in the dark not knowing what we’re supposed to do — it’s truly a waste of time.”

Li Jianhong gets up and walks away, but Duan Ling is still thinking about what his father told him; he finds him far more interesting than his teachers.

But soon Li Jianhong is walking past his door again. It’s drizzling outside, and Li Jianhong has changed into a cloak. He has a bundle in one hand. “Don’t you need to go to the Illustrious Hall today? Want to keep going to school?”

“Oh!” Duan Ling remembers now — today is the day he’s picking up his papers. He’ll be able to pick up the last essay he wrote at the Illustrious Hall and get it stamped by the headmaster so he can hand it in at Biyong College. He’s nearly forgotten, but Li Jianhong somehow still remembers everything, and takes him out on horseback. They plan to go get the papers, then head to the ink room to register for the exams before heading out of the city for a leisure trip.

Shangjing’s Biyong College is situated in the middle of Zhenghe Street, teeming with pedestrians and carriages that come and go in an endless stream. A line has already formed outside, all from noble and high-ranking functionary households. Standing apart from the crowd, Duan Ling and his father look on, both of whom dressed in plain commoners’ clothing.

“Do you envy their show of wealth in their beautiful carriages?” Li Jianhong asks without much thought.

Duan Ling shakes his head. A lot of these people are his fellow alumni from the Illustrious Hall. They’ve spent years studying with each other, but he never imagined that they came from such eminent families. Duan Ling says to Li Jianhong, “The headmaster taught us that one must be content with poverty and be the ruler of one’s own self.”

Li Jianhong nods. “Even though the headmaster talks a lot of nonsense, in this instance he is correct.”

Duan Ling laughs as he goes to get a number for registration on his own, so Li Jianhong pulls his hood down low until it covers half his face, and he stands in the shadows as he scans the faces of the passersby.

“Duan Ling!” Cai Yan calls his name from a distance. “What are you waiting for? Come over here!”

Though Duan Ling has completed his course of study at the Illustrious Hall, he has made few friends; because Lang Junxia made sure he only lived in the secluded side wing, he had little opportunity to meet with his fellow students. The only people he’s relatively close to are Cai Yan and Borjigin, whom he met on the first day, and Helian Bo who was occasionally given the standing punishment along with him.

Cai Yan came with this older brother as always, and he beckons at Duan Ling. So Li Jianhong walks over to greet them, saluting Cai Wen with one hand wrapped over his fist.

“Thank you for looking after him,” Li Jianhong says.

"I hardly did anything. "Cai Wen smiles, returning the gesture.

Cai Yan rests his arm over Duan Ling’s shoulder, letting him line up in front of himself, and the two of them exchange pleasantries. Duan Ling seldom sees Cai Wen, and he cannot help recalling that one winter where Lang Junxia was injured. In the days following that incident, Duan Ling returned to the Illustrious Hall, and Cai Yan came to see him without prompting; noticing his swollen right eye, Cai Yan thought Duan Ling was beaten by the adults at his house, and talked with him for a while to console him.

Ordinarily the two of them were almost never in the same class together. By the time Duan Ling started school, Cai Yan was already in the literature pavilion learning the four books and five classics ahead of time, as well as writing essays, and by the time Duan Ling advanced to the literature pavilion, they were classmates only for a few brief months before Cai Yan was taken back home, where his brother hired someone to teach him. Therefore the two of them did not see each other often at all.

But Duan Ling did have some idea of Cai Yan’s family situation. He knows that even though Cai Wen is Cai Yan’s older brother, the two did not share the same mother, and Cai Yan’s needs to be taken care of by Cai Wen everyday the same way Lang Junxia looks after Duan Ling. It made Cai Yan and Duan Ling intangibly closer still. Aside from this, Cai Yan and his older brother had also run into Duan Ling and Lang Junxia twice outside of school; once at the Mid-Autumn lantern festival, and the other time at the Double Third festival3 on a spring outing by the water.

However, Ding Zhi seems to like Lang Junxia, but not Cai Wen so much, thus when their respective elders happen to run into each other the atmosphere feels a bit awkward.

While the young men stand in line, the adults around them have a friendly chat. Duan Ling has forgotten to introduce Cai Wen to his father; Cai Wen is dressed in sky blue casuals today, looking quite dashing with a fighter’s bearing, like a sharp, newly forged sword. What they talk about is nothing more than the two children’s studies. Compared to the respectful distance Lang Junxia tends to keep, Li Jianhong comes off as far more cordial.

When Lang Junxia is mentioned, Li Jianhong merely brushes off the subject with a simple, “He’s my servant, and I wasn’t going to let him interfere too much in my son’s studies. Once I finished work and came to Shangjing, I sent him back to the south to take care of the business.”

Cai Wen nods. “I’ve been told you’re a merchant, Duanxiong?”

Li jianhong nods. “It’s not going so well. I was just thinking about finding some other way to make a living. Ambition I’ve plenty, but with all this war going on it’s hard to find a foothold anywhere, so what can I do but eat away at my savings while sitting idly on my hands. I’ll worry about that when I’m done watching over my son and he’s grown.”

Cai Wen laughs. “Judging by your bearing, Duanxiong, surely you wouldn’t have to eat away at your savings. You’re just being overly modest.”

Though Li Jianhong’s clothes and ornaments are not extravagant, his every movement and every word carries a particular aura, far from anything like a nouveau riche. In recent years Shangjing is filled with all kinds of folk, rich and poor alike; many nobles have also taken their entire families to shelter beneath the Liao celestial emperor’s feet. Though Cai Wen thinks Li Jianhong is no ordinary man, he has already met Duan Ling, and so he does not think too much of it.

Cai Yan sees a youth walking towards them and says, surprised, “Helian Bo!”

Duan Ling says smilingly, “Helian Bo!”

“You’ve come too!” Cai Yan greets him, “Come over here.”

Helian Bo has grown as well; he often got sent to stand out in the hallway alongside Duan Ling as punishment, and at fourteen he’s already rather tall, with dusky skin. He’s dressed in the Xiqiang fashion, with high brows, deep-set eyes, and chiselled features. Ordinarily he looks rather imposing simply standing there without saying a word, but in fact, he stutters.

Helian Bo is with his steward, so he nods at Duan Ling and Cai Yan, then tells his steward to leave before going to stand behind the two of them silently.

“Did you see Borjigin?” Cai Yan says offhandedly.

Helian Bo shakes his head. He looks at Li Jianhong, obviously the first time he’s ever seen him.

“My dad,” Daun Ling finally remembers to introduce him.

Helian Bo puts one palm on top of another, so Li Jianhong nods at him and returns the salute. Duan Ling looks behind him to find a carriage stopped on the road. Helian Bo points over that way and explains to Duan Ling. “My mom.”

His mother’s the one who brought Helian Bo here to register. Shangjing custom does not allow female family members to appear in public, so Helian Bo has come to line up by himself. He cups a hand over his fist to Cai Wen and the others in an apology.

The young men chat casually with each other for a while, and when it’s their turn, Duan Ling wants to let the others go first, but Helian Bo makes a gesture palm up at Duan Ling, please go ahead, and along with Cai Yan the two let the youngest among them go first.

“Duan Ling can come over whenever he’s free.” Caii Wen says, “I hired a teacher from the south. He can choose some of the easier material to teach him for now.”

“It’s wonderful of you to offer, thank you,” Li Jianhong says.

Cai Wen waves it off, don’t mention it, while Duan Ling has already gone inside with his answers, handed it in, and got it stamped. Li Jianhong says goodbye to Cai Wen, and he steps away with Duan Ling to pay the exam fee.

By the time Duan Ling is done, his friends are already gone. Noticing that Duan Ling is still looking back to search the crowd repeatedly, Li Jianhong asks, “You have friends that didn’t come?”

“Batu didn’t come.” Duan Ling replies, “We said we’d come today to register for the exams.”

Li Jianhong thinks to himself for a little while before asking Duan Ling, “Did you make any other friends?”

“Those are the one that are good to me. But I don’t know why their families are so strict with them.”

“Well, I forgot to ask, actually. Was Lang Junxia strict with you?”

Duan Ling shakes his head. It’s already been a while since he parted from Lang Junxia, but when he thinks about the past, he cherishes the comfortable years he spent with Lang Junxia very much still. Not that he didn’t want to play around, but Duan Ling was terrified of disappointing him. However, he can tell that Cai Yan, Helian Bo, as well as his other fellow classmates seem to have been having a hard time, as though there was a constant gloom pressing down on their heads.

“Helian Bo and the others … I don’t know how to say it, but they always looked like … looked like … um …”

Li Jianhong says, “Like there’s a ghost trailing them, forcing them to study so they can’t even laugh out loud.”

Duan Ling smiles. “That’s it.”

“They’re all mature beyond their years. They’re not like you.”

Duan Ling heaves a sigh.

Li Jianhong says, “They’re all heirs of politcal hostages, so naturally ever since they were little they understood more than those around them.”

“Well, I know that. But is it all that scary?” Duan Ling asks.

Li Jianhong holds Duan Ling’s hand as they walk down the street. “Helian Bo is the son of the Xiqiang royal family’s Helian Luan. Borjigin is a descendent of the Yuan Jiwowen line. As for the brothers Cai Wen and Cai Yan, they’re the offspring of the Cai family who moved north to work as officials in Shangjing. They’re children from mixed marriages with Khitan women.”

“In other words,” Li Jianhong explains, “Their dads are all foreigners, and most of them are royal kin. They’re here as hostages in exchange for peace between their home country and the Liao empire. If war breaks out between them, the Khitans will kill them.”

Duan Ling falls quiet for a moment before he asks, “Who is Southern Chen’s hostage?”

“The Southern Chen imperial family doesn’t have a hostage here — because the Han refuses to yield.”

“A lot of people who went to school with you in the Illustrious Hall are the descendents of the Liao empire’s south-side bureaucrats. If they ever defect, the Liao emperor would kill their sons.” Li Jianhong asks, “Do you know a child with the last name Han?”

“I do!” Duan Ling immediately thinks of that Mister Han.

“He’s actually Khitan. His dad is the imperial tutor of the southern administration.”

Duan Ling nods. He’s standing at the intersection with Li Jianhong; Dayu’er Lane is right next to them. Duan Ling stands there, and peers in for a while. “I want to check Batu’s house.”

And so Li Jianhong steps into Dayu’er Lane with Duan Ling, but they discover that many Khitan soldiers are inside, questioning everyone they see.

“Who’s there?” They’re immediately on guard.

“I’m …” Duan Ling has just started speaking when Li Jianhong’s hand on his shoulder lightly presses down.

“When I was taking my son to register earlier I ran into General Cai outside Biyong College.” Li Jianhong says smoothly, “He noticed that Borjigin was absent so he asked me to come check on him.”

“It has got nothing to do with Cai Wen.” The officer says, “Return and tell him to mind his own business.”

Li Jianhong nods at him and leaves with Duan Ling, a slight furrow between his brows.

“Why are they …”

Li Jianhong puts a finger over Duan Ling’s lips, letting him know not to ask. By the time they get home, Duan Ling has already forgotten all about it, and goes to work in his flowerbed. After a while, Duan Ling finds Li Jianhong getting some sun on the recliner in the courtyard, his eyes narrowed as though lost in thought.

“Dad.” Duan Ling is going to ask him to go sleep inside, but Li Jianhong’s eyes open and he beckons Duan Ling closer.

So Duan Ling goes and sprawls all over Li Jianhong. Li Jianhong holds Duan Ling close to him with one hand, and takes his hand with another.

“What’s this? Your hands are covered in mud, just wiping it on your dad’s face all day long.”

Duan Ling wipes both hands on Li Jianhong’s clothes and says, “I’m hungry.”

“What do you want to eat? Let’s go get something at a restaurant …”

Duan Ling is about to wash his hands, but Li Jianhong doesn’t loosen his hold; he carefully examines Duan Ling’s expression while looking at his eyes. “Tell me this before you go. Are you good friends with Borjigin Batu?”

There’s gravitas in Li Jianhong’s expression, and Duan Ling gets a bit worried, thinking Li Jianhong must disapprove of him making friends with Batu, so he starts thinking about how he should answer. And yet after just this short pause of hesitation, Li Jianhong is saying to him, “If he is then say he is, if he isn’t then say he isn’t. What’d you think I’d do to you?”

Duan Ling answers, “He is.”

“Life is long, and you must have a few friends. Go wash your hands.”

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

It’s by Zhuangzi. The full quote is Life is limited, knowledge is limitless; the pursuit of the limitless with the limited can only end in failure. ↩︎

The double third festival happens on 3-3, on the third day of the third lunar month. ↩︎

#相見歡 #fei tian ye xiang #joyful reunion #xiang jian huan #fox translates things

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