#uhm. self projection moment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lis-likes-fics · 5 months

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Lab Rats

Pairings: professor!Jonathan Crane x student!Reader Word Count: 8.2k words Prompt: Sex Pollen Warnings: NSFW, smut, dubcon, professor/student relationship, sex pollen, oral (m!receving), fingering, edging, multiple orgasms, dumbification, name calling, degradation, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie... A/N: This is a day late, but I got it done! I hope you enjoy this filthy piece. Dr. Crane is so much fun to write for!

The call of your name stalled you from packing the rest of your items, your fingers tingling and your ears burning at the sound of your name breaching his lips.

“Could you stay after class, please?” Professor Crane asked, looking upon you with a set smile.

You remained calm. He would read any unnecessary excitement in the way you breathed.

You nodded, trying to sink back into the rest of the class, packing their bags to leave. You pulled the zipper of your bag closed. When enough people left the room, you made your way to the front with your bag on your person.

You had taken a certain fascination with Dr. Jonathan Crane the first moment you stepped into his class. He was handsome and charming, he knew how to teach and he always managed to pull you in.

He wasn't soft on anyone, even his favorite student usually didn't receive much special treatment. On the first day of classes, he told everyone that 50% of the class would be walking out of the door by the end of the week, and he was right. Better for you, that just meant less people to steal his attention away, less competition when it came to acing his tests and projects.

You loved his class, not just for the topic—obviously. Over the past couple of weeks, you felt his shift. His usual objectivity had switched and he seemed to point you out a little more. He praised your work, he accepted all of your input in class, he would even email you personally (sometimes talk to you after class) on your work to tell you how well you were doing.

You knew your attraction toward him would never amount to anything, it would never work out. But your fantasy was enough to quench your hunger for his attention and affection.

“Yes, sir?” you asked as you walked up to him.

Crane smiled at you. “I have a few matters I would like to speak with you privately… Could you spare the time?”

The strength of your heartbeat was extra hard for a few moments as you took in his words. You nod, “Of course, professor.”

“Step into my office?” he asked, gesturing toward the door with his name on it.

You took the first step, walking toward the door as he followed behind. You were suddenly very self-conscious of the way that you walked as you opened the door.

He moved around you when you were both inside, allowing you to shut the door as he took his spot in front of his desk. He leaned back on it, crossing his legs at the ankles and putting his hands in his pockets.

You knew this one. He was presenting his body language to seem more relaxed in order to ease you from your guard so he could properly manipulate you into agreeing with whatever he said.

He sighed, taking a moment to look upon you. “I would like you to know that I admire you and your work greatly,” he began, “and this is what allows me to ask this of you so freely.”

You blinked, anticipating his offer. “Yes, professor?”

He smiled, almost slyly. “I am conducting an experiment of sorts, a scientific breakthrough that I would like you to be the face of.”

You stared at him, your eyes wider than you meant for them to be as you slowly recovered. “I… Me?”

He nodded. “As part of a selection of students.”

Your heart sunk slightly at that. One of a group, but his first choice, at least…

“Oh,” you nodded. “Alright, uhm… Why—What, uh…” You reprimanded yourself for your lack of eloquence. “What is the experiment? What kind is it?”

“Unfortunately,” he breathed in deep, letting out a long sigh, “that must be kept a secret until I come to a close. It's not quite done—a few last minute tweaks need to be made…” He looked off slightly, thinking to himself for a split second. His attention turned back to you, looking at you a little closer, bringing you in.

He spoke slowly, leaning off the desk to stand. He moved a little closer, and you felt his hand brush your elbow. “But I would like to know that you would be willing to drop everything at a moment’s notice when I do contact you for it.”

He took another step forward, closer now to you. You knew this one, too. He was making it personal, making you compliant. You knew this trick, it was Psychology 101.

But it worked anyway.

“Oh,” you licked your bottom lip: your own trick. “Okay.”

He smiled, raising his brows, “Yes?” he nodded.

You returned the nod. “Yes, sir,” you smiled. “I…would be honored to.”

He held your eye contact, not letting go as he nodded. “Excellent!” he exclaimed gently. He leaned in a little, close to your face, too close for a professor talking to his student. “You really are my greatest student.”

You smiled, perhaps too much. You feel too giggly. “I'm…so glad.”

He moved his hand from your elbow to raise a finger, shaking it gently at you. “Remember,” he teased, “at a moment’s notice.”

You nodded definitely. “Of course.”

He offered you a charming smile before stepping out of your space, breaking the spell. He tilted his head toward you. “You may go.” Just as you were lifting your foot, he held out a hand toward you. “And thank you very much.”

With one last nod, you stepped back. “Not a problem, sir.”

You stepped out of his office, closing the door gently behind you. Gently biting your lip, you unsilenced your phone as you left his classroom.

The shrill ring of your phone cut through the late night and woke you brutally from your slumber. You gasped as you reluctantly blinked through the dark to direct your eyes to the abusive light emanating from the phone. The clock next to it on the nightstand read far past midnight. You moaned deeply, speaking but only forming actual words toward the middle of your complaint.

“...’f i’s ‘nother sp’m…” You wiped your face and covered your eyes as you answered the phone, not quite awake but too tired to deal with waking up.

“Hullo?”

The voice on the other end woke you up just a little more, not quite clearing the fog in your brain but allowing you to put more effort into sounding a little more awake.

“It's time.”

Time for wh—Oh.

You suddenly remembered Dr. Crane's experiment, the one he wanted to test with you. Your gut clenched and your heart picked up and startled you awake. It was time.

“Oh.”

You pressed your finger into the doorbell, checking the address of Dr. Crane's house out of nerves a fifth time and the time for the twentieth. You wrapped your coat tighter around you, the chilly breeze persuaded by the winter air of Gotham so close to Christmas time. They would be letting you out for the break soon…

The door opened, a little crack and a creak to allow you entry.

“Just go along with whatever happens.”

You thought back to his instructions on the phone, vague instructions you briefly considered not trusting. But he was your professor. He had your best interests at heart, surely.

You reached your hand toward the knob, timidly reaching. He wasn't at the door. Should you actually go in?

“Don't waste time asking questions. Everything will be explained when you get there.”

You pushed the door open and walked inside, shucking your coat off as you nervously looked around the house. You shut the door behind you, hanging your coat on the rack by the entrance and leaving your shoes next to the ones by the door.

You swallowed thickly as you looked around, stepping further inside. “Uhm…” you cleared your throat. “Dr. Crane? Are you still home?”

You were met with silence as you continued to quietly step through the living room, the air so still that you could feel your heart beating heavily in your chest. You were so nervous, your blood was pumping and you were bordering on scared as you tried to keep your breath level. Your flesh raised with goosebumps. It was too quiet.

You almost didn't want to speak again, afraid to break the silence and disturb something unknown lurking around the corner.

“Dr. Crane?” you called again, suddenly feeling very warm and very frightened. Where was he? “Professor?”

“In here.”

The voice was distant when he spoke, giving you some reprieve from the silence but feeding your anxiety, fueling your fight-or-flight.

“Where?” you wondered aloud, stepping past the archway that led into the hall.

“Just a few steps more…”

Could he see you? Was he taunting you on purpose? Perhaps part of the experiment?

The anxiety curled in your stomach, kept your footsteps slow and your breath shallow and a scream ready in your throat in case you needed it.

You were reluctant to speak. “Sir?” You pressed your palm along the wall of the hall and began to peer around the corner, into a room on the left. Maybe Dr. Crane was waiting there…

A strange, strong mist invaded your senses as you turned the corner. Raring up the scream, you gasped and your eyes stung, resulting in a heavy cough that took a moment to die down. You braced yourself on the wall, holding yourself up as you tried to clear your eyes, clouded by tears from both the coughing and the mist burning your eyes. You watched the mist clear, breathing in desperately for air.

“Shh, shh, shh, shh,” Dr. Crane's voice came, then his hands on your shoulders as he pulled you in and guided you into the room. “That's good,” he bid.

He held you steady as you blinked rapidly and steadied your breath. “I took the liberty of testing my hypothesis that it would work faster if the patient is already running on adrenaline.”

You wiped the tears roughly from your eyes. “Professor, what–?”

“Hush,” he cut you off, bringing you to the bed. “Sit here,” he said, lowering you down.

He pulled up a chair, sitting across from you before handing you a handkerchief. You took it greedily and began wiping your face. You sighed deeply into the fabric, holding your head in your hands as you adjusted.

“Okay,” he said, smiling. “Now that's done…the substance you've just inhaled is an aphrodisiac of my own design.”

You stilled entirely, looking up at him tentatively as your eyes widened. You blinked, shaking your head as you tried to organize your thoughts. It was an… an—“Aphrodisiac…” you muttered.

“Yes,” he nodded. “Aphrodisiac.”

You were suddenly dizzy, processing his words too slowly as you put together what this meant. An experiment with an aphrodisiac… and you were the “face” of it all?

“The word itself comes from the Greek name ‘Aphrodite’, which—I'm sure you know—is the Greek goddess of Sex.” You looked up at him as he began explaining, rolling up the sleeves of his white button down and dusting off his black slacks. Adjusting his glasses on his nose, he continued, “As far as the function of the substance is concerned, it affects hormone levels and accelerates blood flood, increasing chemicals in your brain like—dopamine, glutamic acid, nitric oxide, oxytocin to enhance sexual arousal.” He sounded like he was reading straight out of a book as he spoke with his hands, illustrating the drug to you to paint pretty pictures for you to apply to what was happening to you, in your own body.

It was getting warm, the physical exertion from the adrenaline, likely. The suspense and anxiety from before, along with the shock of Dr. Crane's mist had thrust you into an adrenaline rush. That was surely all it was.

“It relaxes smooth muscles,” he continued. “Stimulates erections, increases arousal.”

You fought the urge to clench your thighs at the idea of it. He was your psych professor and you were his student, and he was testing aphrodisiacs on you and telling you how it made boners and stiff nipples and fucking arousal.

“Professor,” you muttered.

He stopped you, raising a finger. “Please hold. I'm not finished.” He cleared his throat and thought for a moment. “Where was I? Aphrodisiacs are commonly found in natural foods or herbs, though the change in sexual desire is usually unnoticed when these substances—like chocolates, most commonly, or oysters and figs and strawberries—are consumed.”

You clenched the handkerchief in your hand, rubbing your palms against your thighs roughly. “Professor Crane.” You felt like your head was beginning to spin.

He sighed at you, seemingly disappointed. “I hope you're interrupting me for a good reason.”

You stared at him straight on, nearly glaring as a thin layer of sweat began to form over your skin. “It's hot,” you huffed.

“Well, that's to be expected,” he shrugged. He looked you up and down, smiling with a gentle chuckle. “How rude of me. How are you feeling?”

You brought the handkerchief to your forehead, breathing uneasily. “Hot.”

“As you've already stated.” He waved his hand dismissively. “What else?”

You didn't want to say: considering the heat was spreading through your body and scouring your nerves with a flush of lust. The last thing you wanted to do was explain that you were horny to your professor.

He tilted his head at your hesitation, noticing the way you turned away, closed yourself off. He raised a brow. “Come on,” he bid. He didn't sound like he was encouraging you, he sounded like he was taunting you. “Don't leave any details. This is an experiment, might I remind you. If you leave anything out, it could hinder the research.”

“Um,” you struggled, your voice trembling a little. You felt like your whole body would soon follow suit. You felt shaky, like you’d fall if you tried to stand. “Uh.” You couldn’t figure out what to say—it was humiliating to say the least, looking at your professor and forcing your eyes to stay on his face, because fuck…you wanted him so bad.

He raised a brow, waiting expectantly, “Well?”

You couldn’t. “I don’t know,” you muttered. “It’s just hot.”

He reached his hand out and pressed the back of his palm to your forehead. The coolness of his skin against the heat of your face was like a salve to a cruel burn. You leaned into him, stifling your moan as best you could as your eyes fluttered at the contact. It felt so good.

“Mm,” he hummed, pretending not to notice your weakness as he shifted his hand to your temple. “You’re burning up.” You knew he was taunting you when his hand slipped down to your neck, pressing against your scorching skin and sending goosebumps through your body. Your heart felt like it would leap out of your chest any time soon.

When he pulled his hand away, you felt like you could die on the spot as the fever-like heat came back immediately after. You tried to remain impartial, shaking your head to gather your thoughts enough to speak.

“Why couldn’t you have just performed the experiment on your own?” you questioned, wiping your forehead roughly to be rid of the light sheen of sweat coating your skin. “I don’t see how an external test subject was necessary.” Remaining as professional as possible seemed like your best course of action. Insanity or not, this was still a test—you were sure of it—and there was no way you would fail a personal test with Professor Crane and risk falling from such high esteem with him.

He reached behind him where his suit jacket lay neatly on the back of his seat. He removed a second handkerchief from an inside pocket with a dramatic whip, taking his glasses off to clean them as he shook his head. “No, no, no,” he said. “If my theory is correct, the test must be performed with another person present. The substance works by increasing adrenaline. It’s quite similar to my fear toxin.”

You shook your head, “Fear toxin–”

“The adrenaline builds and builds,” he continued, cutting you off with little regard for you, as he glanced through the lenses, “increases the heart rate so much that—if left unresolved—the subject would experience a heart rate so high…” He finished polishing them off before replacing his glasses on the bridge of his nose and directing his analytical gaze toward you once more. With a lurking smile full of sadistic amusement, he spoke in a low voice, “...your little heart would burst in your chest.”

The anxiety curled in your chest until it began its fast evolution to fear. All these emotions mixing within you wasn’t good for your health—and, apparently, neither was this toxin he had infected you with. “...What?” you said. It was the only thing you could manage to say.

He shrugged, tilting his head with a slight roll of his eyes. “Well,” he began to correct himself, “not literally, of course. It’s highly improbable. But your heart would just…stop.” His eyes seemed to darken as he explained it to you, staring too deeply into your own anxious gaze as he seemed to enjoy every minute of this. With a breath, he began again. “And while my toxin has an antidote, there is only one way to reverse the effects of this aphrodisiac.”

You swallowed thickly. “Which is?”

He smirked, though he tried to hide it. “Sexual gratification.”

If you weren’t burning up, your blood would run cold…and then you’d run just as hot as you were running now. Your head was definitely spinning now, images of forbidden desires—which you had pushed down, down to the depths of your mind—flooding to the surface. So many fantasies, so many urges, being unlocked once more as you thought about…reversing the effects.

But, for the millionth time, he was your professor. It didn’t matter how many times you’d fantasized about him having you on your knees, his hands in your hair, his lips all over your body…it couldn’t happen. It shouldn’t happen.

You tried not to clear your throat. It would make you more guilty than you already were. “W-well–” Damn it, you cringed. “–even if that’s true…gratification can be…achieved through…”

He raised a brow, happy to mock you. “Through?”

You took in a steadying breath, looking down at your legs to avoid looking up at him. Your skin was burning, your nerves were tingling with an increasing desire “Through self-pleasure. Masturbation. Couldn’t it?” You were already this far, there was no use in being shy.

But even then…

He tilted his head, sighing. “Unfortunately, no,” he said. “You see, once it has been ingested in any form, only another person's hormones can slow the process—which is why you’re still so in control right now–” you didn’t feel in control, “–but even that isn’t enough. In males, sexual gratification can only be achieved by the release of semen when mixed with a woman’s arousal. Likewise, for a female subject, gratification can only be met through insemination.”

He said it so quickly, so nonchalantly. You had no time to process as you blinked rapidly. “Insem–”

“Therefore, a partner is necessary for the experiment, and only a partner of the opposite sex is truly effective, so…I suppose that’s a loss for the homosexuals, hm?” He shrugged, amused by his own joke.

Pain spasmed in your stomach, a sharp stab in your gut and a stinging sensitivity to everything your skin came in contact with. “Fuck,” you sighed, folding over slightly just as a growing migraine became present enough to matter.

He sighed. “Language, please.”

You rubbed your palms harshly against your eyes, forcing your fingertips against your temple in a useless attempt to ease the pain roaring in your head, sacrificing the stabbing in your gut. “It hurts.” It took everything not to sob.

He turned his head. “What kind of pain?”

“All of the above,” you said impatiently, your voice breaking. “It hurts.”

He hummed and leaned forward. “And where does it hurt the most?” He gestured to your general body. “Or is it just about the same everywhere?”

“It's…” you hesitated, “everywhere.”

Crane tilted his head, looking at you with a glow of disappointment. He removed his glasses with a sigh, setting them to the side and directing his attention entirely on you.

“Now, my dear,” you shuddered at the name, “This doesn't work if you aren't being completely and entirely honest with me. I am quite content to sit here and watch you succumb to my little toxin.” A wash of shock overtook you, your palpitating conflicted between beating too fast and stopping all together.

He continued, a taunting grin curving his lips as he gave you his cold stare. “Without me to help you,” he shrugged, “you have no way of reversing the effects. I'll say you came down with a sudden fever, one you just couldn't fight.”

The hair along your arms stood tall. He couldn't be serious, it was a joke… But when have you known Jonathan Crane to joke?

“But…” you fumbled, trying to decide what to say, “But I've been perfectly healthy. Why would people believe you?”

He tilted his head, looking at you like you were just the cutest, dumbest little thing. “This is Gotham, sweetheart.” He shrugged dismissively. “People die every day, and no one fucking cares.”

Breathing heavily, you put a hand over your stomach and let out a pained moan. You thought to yourself, over his words. You shook your head, not meeting his eyes.

“Cramps.”

He raised a brow questioningly. “Hm?”

“The pain,” you stated. “Stomach cramps, tender nipples and…and clitoris. Even the fabric of my clothes is too much. It hurts.” You ignored the heat in your face. It didn't matter now—the insecurity, the awkwardness. It was strictly scientific. Of course, it was.

“Very good,” he grinned, leaning back and crossing his legs. “Tell me more.”

“Tunnel vision, dizziness, migraine, short breath. It's like… it's almost like a panic attack.”

“Is that all?”

“It's really hot,” you huffed, another pained moan escaping through your unsteady breaths. “I'm really hot.” It didn't matter. “Fuck, professor, I need you.”

“What's that?” The fucker was getting off on teasing you like this, mocking you like it was his only pleasure in life.

“I need you,” you urged, trying not to sound as whiny as you feel.

“Is that so?” he raised a brow, smirking. “Have you told me everything then?”

“Yes, everything. Please.”

“Are you certain?” he pushed.

You felt the wet on your cheek and realized your need and the pain had reached your eyes, the tears welling along your waterline and dropping down in one streak down your face. “Please, I'll do anything!”

He paused slightly. “What's that?”

You reached out and grabbed his hands, pulling them into your lap. There was only one way to ease the pain, the heat, the desire. And you were set on it.

“I'll do anything! Just please, fuck me. Please,” you gasped, pushing through the pounding in your head and the fire in your core.

“Well,” he sighed, pulling his hand from your grasp to check his watch. He tsked to himself, thinking before he hummed. “I suppose I can do that.”

You could have cried—you were crying. “Thank you,” you sighed. “Thank you.”

“But,” he pointed a finger at your face, as though you were a dog being disciplined, “you must do as I say.”

You nodded urgently. “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” You shuddered at his words, the praise washing over you like a wave swallowing you whole as you lay on the sandy shore of a beach.

He snapped at you, indefinitely grabbing your attention as he pointed to the space in front of him. You stood from the bed in a moment, your weak legs barely holding you up.

His hands landed on your waist, and you nearly melted at the contact. He turned you around in his hands, looking you up and down with an appreciative moan. “Let's see what we're working with,” he said. “Strip.” The order was plain and simple.

You did as you were told, trying not to be shy about it. He didn't care about shyness, and it didn't matter anyway.

You began peeling your clothes off, moving faster with each inch of skin revealed. Once you were bare in front of him, you fought the overwhelming urge to cover yourself. He wanted to see you, to see what you had to offer.

He hummed to himself, snapping again. “On your knees.” Again, you did as you were told.

Moving to your knees, he took your face in his large hands. You melted against him, your eyes fluttering shut as a deep moan escaped you. His hands felt so cool in comparison to your burning skin. If you weren't so desperate for more of what he had to offer, you would be perfectly content with sitting here and having him hold you like this.

When his hands lightly smacked your cheeks, your eyes snapped open as you brought yourself out of the sticky feeling of the subtle pleasure. “Keep your eyes open. And open your mouth.”

You parted your lips, and he slipped his thumb between them and pried your mouth open wide. He set his thumb on your tongue, pulling it over your bottom set of teeth and pushing his thumb farther into your mouth. Your breaths blew over his skin as he felt the softness of your cheeks, your tongue.

He surprised you when his hand was suddenly between your thighs, his fingers stroking through your folds as you gasped. “Jesus, you're fucking dripping.” He ran his fingers along your lower lips and the insides of your thighs where the arousal was smothered halfway down your thighs.

You whimpered and whined when he shoved his middle and ring fingers inside of you without warning, delving them into your hot, dripping, tight pussy. You tried not to squirm at the way his fingers wiggled inside you.

“Yes,” he sighed. “This'll do nicely.”

He pulled them out of you, shoving those same fingers between your lips to make you taste your arousal. “Suck,” he commanded. You obeyed.

You suckled around his fingers and felt another rush of molten arousal wash through you at the way he stares at you, his eyes dark and primal. You needed him.

“Strip me,” he said, pulling his hand away. From your knees, you unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, letting your hands press against the expanse of his chest and soothe you the slightest bit. You unbuckled his best and shoved his pants down his legs, removed it from his body like undoing ropes tying him to a chair.

You stared at his briefs, his half-hard erection tenting them as he enjoyed the sight of your mindless struggling. He placed a hand in your hair, gripping a fistful and holding you securely. “Now be a good girl and suck my cock.”

You pulled his boxers down without hesitation and only faltered as you saw him for the first time. This was absurd. You never thought you'd find yourself in this situation—staring at your professor’s erection, long and hard and flushed with his own lust for your body, about to wrap your lips around it.

You gripped him in your hand and he stifled a grunt at the feeling of your insistence. You stroked him a few times before sticking your tongue out and licking a long strip up the underside of his cock, tasting his precum beading at the tip and immediately becoming addicted to the taste. Whether it was him or just his toxin, the taste of him was mesmerizing, and you would do anything for more.

You wrapped your lips around him, suckling around the tip and taking him deeper. He let his head fall back just a bit, still watching you as his thighs clenched and his hair gripped your hair tighter. He did not guide you or push you down, he didn't think he needed to. You surprised him as you bobbed your head up and down his cock, taking him farther and farther down with each trip back and forth until he was filling your throat with his length and making you gag.

He grunted as you suckled some more. Your cunt clenched around nothing, aching for any kind of pressure as your clit pulsed and your walls fluttered. You ran a hand down your body, dipping between your thighs to try and ease some of the tension. You pressed down hard on your clit one time, a moan coming from your throat and shivering through his spine.

He pulled you by your hair off of his cock. “Did I say you could touch yourself, sweetheart?” You shook your head pathetically. “Then why are you doing it?”

You couldn't win this, you knew that. Using your desperation as regret, you frowned and whispered, “Sorry, sir.”

He loosened his grip enough to let you get back to work, still holding onto you as he leaned back again. Your lips found his cock once more, addicted and able to ignore the burn for now, a short escape from the pain.

You swirled your tongue around him, suckling as you went along. Crane stared at you with a dark gaze as you sucked him off. You flattened your tongue against him, going farther down his length with each swallow around his tip. Sticky white precum continued to seep from his slit and onto your tongue. You were drunk on the taste of him, taking him as best you could.

Crane looked like a dream, his head tilted back and his lips parted as you brought him closer and closer to a great release. Both his hands were tangled in your hair by now, holding on to you and his remaining control.

He was right about the hormones. Being this close to him, inhaling the scent of his cologne, the scent of his skin swirling around your head, was easing the searing desperation.

You felt him twitching on your tongue and suckled around him a little more. He was close, you could feel it. You didn't know if it was his toxin or not, but the idea of him spilling all over your tongue drove you crazy with lust.

He began to tense and groaned. “And that's enough of that,” he huffed, pulling you off of him by your hair and keeping you back, even through your attempts at licking the precum spilling from his tip.

“My, my,” he breathed. “Such a desperate little thing.”

You caught your breath as you spoke, your lips swollen and your eyes hooded as you did. “I need you,” you begged, gripping his thighs tight.

“Well,” he stood, snapping and gesturing for you to stand as well—you obeyed. “You'll have to be patient, sweetheart. I'm not through with my tests yet.” You whined. “Lay down.”

You did as told once again. He looked over your body, running a finger down the center of you, from your collarbone to your pelvis. You shuddered and whimpered but said nothing.

“I don't have any cuffs in here, so a tie will have to work.” He found his jacket draped along the back of his chair and pulled the tie neatly tucked inside of it out.

You held your breath as he reached for your hands, grabbing your wrists and holding them above your head. He put them around the bars of the headboard and, with more skill than you expected, tied them together to keep you bound there.

He gave a content sigh at the sight of you, smiling to himself. His eyes found yours as his fingertips grazed your side “Now, you can be as loud as you want. No need to hold back. We're all alone in here.”

He stood over you as his palm smoothed along your skin, reaching further down until he found your mound, slick and hot and waiting for something to slip inside it.

Your breath quickened in anticipation, waiting for him to make his move as his fingers played with your skin. Holding eye contact, he slipped his finger inside of you, parting your folds and burying itself in deep.

Your head lolled back as you moaned, the sound sticky with lust. He sank in deep, inch by torturous inch. You held your breath in your, feeling each little bit disappear, knuckle by knuckle, inside.

A second finger joined the first, spreading you open for him. They thrust and curled inside you. You moaned and found yourself grinding your hips into his palm. You needed more, more of him, the bliss of his fingers spread through your body to ease the fire and feed it all at the same time.

“Professor,” you whimpered. “More, please.”

“Hm?” he taunted. “That's not enough for you? You need more?”

“Yes, please,” you gasped.

You clenched around his fingers, feeling him pumping his fingers in and out of you. He curled them against a sweet spot deep within your dripping cunt, exploring your body and becoming familiar with each little nook and cranny. Your back arched and your moans were loud in the space of the bedroom. You had never felt so good before, just by his hands alone.

When his speed increased, you thought you would cry. The dizziness was eased by his pleasure, the headache had waned enough for you to see, and the pain in your stomach had simmered to a dull ache. But his fingers stuffed inside only seemed to heighten the heavy pulse in her veins.

You pulled at the tie wrapped around your wrists as you whined. “Professor, please,” you huffed. “I can't take it. I—fuck—needa cum.”

Letting out what seemed to be a disinterested sigh, he shrugged. “Since you want it so bad…” His thumb pressed against your clit and your back arched slightly at the contact.

You cursed breathily, seeing stars as the pleasure grew and grew and grew at the expertise of his hand. You thought you were going to explode, reaching your peak far too quickly as a knot began to build in your stomach. You tensed, clenching around his fingers as he spread them and curled them and pumped them in and out of you.

“Fuck, can I cum?” you moaned. “Please, professor, I need it so bad.”

He didn’t answer you, rubbing your clit in tight, fast circles as he felt you flutter around his fingers, he listened to your unsteady breath and felt your trembling thighs. You could feel yourself reaching that point, on the verge of finding that bliss…

You whimpered meekly when he suddenly stopped. Watching you with a dark smile, he chuckled as you squirmed and tried to move your hips against his hand. A tear slipped down the side of your face as the pain returned, sharper this time and spreading through your body like you’d been shocked.

“Dr. Crane, please,” you cried, squirming like a worm on a hook.

He laughed at you, looking your body up and down as he disregarded your need and spoke. “How do you feel?” he asked.

Another tear joined the first. “Please, I can’t.”

He tutted, shaking his head. “Ah-ah. Answer my question or I’ll stop completely.”

“No!” you exclaimed. “Please, it hurts. So bad, everything hurts.”

He nodded, “Good girl.” He rewarded you with the movement of his hand once more, filling you back up with his fingers and thrusting them into you.

You were blinded by the pleasure and continued to ride it out, unknowingly that he was beginning a cycle. He would have you crying, breaking down in tears and so desperate to cum all over his hand, only to rob you of such pleasure every time you got close to tasting it. And it hurt. All of it hurt, like you were being burned alive. The imaginary flames licked at your flesh and threatened to sear it off your bones.

You didn’t know how many times he’d done this cruel act upon you, how long you’d been laying there with your legs spread open wide and his fingers shoved inside of you, too caught up in the pain and the ecstasy of it all. “C-Crane,” you muttered, your lips and your tongue lazy with dissatisfaction. “Please.”

You could tell how fun this experiment was for him, and not even in just the sadistic way. He watched you closely, his eyes hooded and dark and his cheeks pink. His cock was still hard, maybe harder still in a painful way that your useless sounds helped him to ignore.

He hummed deeply, considering another dance with desperation. But he let out a deep sigh and shrugged. “I suppose,” he said, his thumb, which had been lazily rubbing too-slow circles on your clit, picking up once again.

And you were so scared it was a trick, that he would pull away and leave you to sob again at the loss of stimulation. The knot built, the dam overflowed, and as you reached your breaking point, you gasped when it all came loose. Your back arched, and you went blind as the pleasure crashed down on you like nothing you’d ever felt.

You cried out his name—or some garbled version of his name that came with not being in touch with your own body. You moaned, breathing too fast and dizzying yourself with your harsh breaths as you did. Crane smiled as he watched you, coaxing you through it as he noted just how good this orgasm must have felt for you.

“Look at you go,” he smiled, still rubbing your clit as he watched the last spasms of pleasure shoot through you. You were so pretty like this, writhing in bed as you came on his hand for the first time, whimpering and whining like a dog.

He pulled his hand from you, darting his tongue to lick the bottom lip of his wolfish grin.

As you began to settle, you let in a deep breath to fill your lungs, laying back lazily as you were offered a moment of stillness. All the pain from before was gone, the thumping in your heart calmed to a slightly quickened ut otherwise rhythmic beat. You could breathe.

Crane was staring at his watch, looking between you and it as he seemed to time something. You paid him little mind, soaking up the calm for as long as you had it.

It was all too soon that the pain began to slip back in, first as a distant sting in your head, then as the dull ache in your stomach. As your breath sped again at the slowly increasing ache, so too did your heart once more. Then the sensitivity of your skin, the burn of your goosebumps rubbing against the sheets or clashing cruelty with the air.

Unable to take so much, you began to cry. “Professor,” you spoke shakily. “Fuck, it hurts. It fucking hurts so bad. I can't—I can't, I can't.”

“Two minutes and seventeen seconds,” he stamped. “It took two minutes for the aphrodisiac to kick in again after the first orgasm has been reached.”

He stared at you, rubbing his bottom lip and sighing with a distant smile. “Oh, the things I want to do to you,” he mumbled. “To make you cum over and over and over again until you're,” he sighed longingly, his eyes fluttering and his jaw clenching with an urge he tried to conceal, “sobbing, trembling in my hands, begging me to stop.”

You shuddered, wanting it so badly but also dreading the opposite of this torture, where you would never stop shaking, never be able to calm as he pulled an orgasm after you one right after the other.

He shook himself out of his daydream. “But, I'm not sure how long you've got. That's an experiment for another day.”

You wanted to say something, but you were at your point in desperation where words were harder and harder to form unless the adrenaline really kicked in.

He positioned himself on the bed, his hand smoothing over your sides. “I bet you need me now, don't you?” Whining pathetically and not caring anymore about sounding decent, you nodded. “Yes, you do. You need me to fuck you, hhh? Take you nice and rough from behind. You need me to fuck you nice and deep, little slut?”

You nodded again, crying, “Please.”

He stood on his knees in front of you, taking your body in his hands and flipping you around, not caring for a moment that you were still tied to the bed frame with your arms now crossed.

He pulled you up on your knees and put your ass on display for him. His hands slapped down on your ass, rubbing harshly on the skin as you whined.

“Be a good girl and beg me to fuck you, sweetheart,” he breathed.

Had you not begged enough? You couldn't count the amount of times you'd told him “Please, professor, please,” and been denied for the sake of his sadism?

Still, you were desperate and you could care less at the moment about his urge to humiliate you. So you did beg, your pounding heart squeezing tears out of your eyes.

“Please, Crane,” you sobbed. “Please, I need you so fucking bad. It hurts, please.”

You were about to continue pouring your heart out when he cut you off. “Okay, okay,” he chuckled. “Calm down. It's not that serious.”

He took his cock in his hand, stroking himself a couple times as he spread your folds for him. In one push, he buried himself to the hilt inside of your tight pussy. He groaned roughly as you clenched around his cock and moaned.

“So fucking tight,” he sighed. “You've been needing this, haven't you?”

You moaned deep in your throat, melting at the feeling of him buried so deep. He chuckled, high off the sight of you so weak. He pulled out of you, an agonizingly slow drag that burned at your nerves until he suddenly thrust back in with a harsh thrust. You lost your breath, your lungs squeezed tight at the pleasure.

He grunted, doing it again and again and again as he just kept holding you tighter, pulling you back to meet each thrust. The smack of his hips against your ass was loud and followed in quick succession as he gave you no time between each thrust to recover.

You felt like your brain had melted, reduced to. a pile of mush in your head as you let yourself be devoured by the pure ecstasy of each thrust staving off the pain of the toxin burning you out.

You gripped the sheets, clenching and unclenching and trying so hard to keep it together as he split you open on his cock.

Crane was hardly keeping it together himself, gripping your waist as he fucked into you from behind. His hair had fallen over his eyes, which were dark and crazed. He had you in his clutches—you, his prey and he, your predator, his teeth and claws in your flesh and bone.

“Is this everything you imagined?” he huffed, bringing a hand to wrap around your throat and pull you up.

You clenched tighter around him and felt your limbs going weak—if he hadn't been holding you up, you would have fallen against the bed again.

“W-What?” you gasped, small and pathetic.

He laughed darkly. “You think I didn't know? What, you thought I couldn't see the way you stared at me during my lectures? You thought I didn't see your glances at my crotch, wondering how big my cock was? Huh? How good it would feel if I fucked you?”

You just kept moaning, unable to hold in your pleasures sobs. He fucked you a little harder, pulling more and more out of you as he did. “Why do you think I chose you, huh?” he taunted, laughing again. “You were perfect for the role. My cock hungry student who would do anything to impress me. Fuck, you were practically begging to be the subject of this experiment.”

It was hard to listen to him when you could barely focus on your own pleasure. Your arousal was dripping down your thighs, coating you in slick. He just kept fucking you, drunk on the pleasure.

“N-Need,” you stuttered, trying to form the words as your tongue was not your own. “Mm-fuck, needa cum.”

He didn't say anything this time as he pressed his finger to your clit. You went limb, letting yourself fall onto the bed as you whined pathetically.

“Look at you,” he smiled, his head tilted back as he relished in the squeeze of your cunt. “My little fucking whore. Does it feel good?” He laughed again, rubbing your clit a little faster. “Are you gonna cum on my cock like a pathetic slut? Hm?”

To answer his question, you did. You let out a choked cry when you came, your eyes rolling back as you went blind with the pleasure that crashed down on you. Your whole body shattered, and your thighs shook at the pleasure.

“Oh, fuck,” he huffed as you began tighter, your pussy fluttering around him and only bringing him closer to his own longed-for release. “That's a good fucking girl.”

Your head was filled with white-noise as you floated in that space between orgasms, where your whole body was numb to everything else going on. As he kept fucking you, it didn't last long. You came to and found yourself thrown into another dance of lust.

You chased the pleasure, pleading for it to swallow you whole as you took all that he gave to you. “You like that? You like being ruined by me? Hm?” he breathed, still rubbing your clit, even as you squirm.

You didn't respond, overcome by whining moans. But that was more amusing. “I know you do,” he said. “You liked being fucked dumb, don't you?”

His hips continued to snap into yours, shoving deeper and rougher. His finger on your clit continued to build you up, higher and higher.

“Are you gonna cum again?” he asked, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he kept fucking into you. “Yeah? You're squeezing my cock like you are.”

You managed to nod your head and nothing more, the knot building again in your stomach getting so tight, so close to another blinding release. You braced for it as it grew closer.

“Fuck, I'm gonna cum, too,” he breathed. “Gonna cum—so deep inside you. You'll be dripping with me, sweetheart.”

You mewled, closer and closer to–

A loud cry tore from your throat as you came again, blinded and devoured and reduced to nothing but a sobbing mess as the pleasure shook through your body like a rattle.

Unable to hold himself in anymore, he moaned roughly as he spilled so deep inside of you. He gripped you roughly, pulling you back against his cock as he buried himself deep, grinding into you as he fucked his cum inside so you were stuffed with it.

“Fuck, I love this tight little cunt,” he huffed. “Perfect for me.” Your pussy fluttered around him, squeezing him tight as you squelched and gushed around him.

You lay limp against the sheets as the blood roared in your ears. After a moment, when he'd caught his breath and came down from his high, he pulled out of you and let you fall against the bed.

He breathed, letting out a deep sigh. He looked down at you, your spent body still shaking with the aftershocks of pleasure. He picked up your leg, pulling it apart to see your pussy, stuffed and leaking his cum.

He could have cum again at the mere sight of you, your messiness, your exhaustion. He dropped your leg and sat next to your limp body.

“Now,” he said, another breath leaving his lungs. “How do you feel?”

You just lay there, letting out a tiny moan after a while as your only response as you tried to recover. All the pain had disappeared, and all that was left was the heaviness in your limbs and the sore muscles to come.

He hummed a laugh. “I bet.” He reached for his glasses, putting them on the bridge of his nose once more and adjusting them.

He stood, walking somewhere in the room as your eyes followed him. When he picked up a camera hidden in the corner capturing everything that just happened, you couldn't do anything but think about how you wanted to watch it back and see just how much he'd wrecked your body.

He stopped the recording, setting the camera down with a smile. He looked at you again, kneeling in front of the bed as he rested his chin on his hands. “So many things for us to do, so many experiments to run. And now I've got you,” he chuckled, “my own personal lab rat.”

You watched him lazily, the exhaustion pulling at your system. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You sighed into the kiss, moving as much as you could as your lips melded together. It breathed life into you, more life than it should have.

He pulled away all too soon, standing up and turning away from you as he left the room. You laid there a moment longer, thinking back over the events of the night. His own personal lab rat.

You smiled.

Cillian Murphy taglist: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @goblinjnr @kmc1989 @shelbyism @weepingwitchofthewest @cl-0-vr @thoticious @sinarainbows @the-nerdy-goddess @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bernelflo @dragonslayersupremacy @alurafairy @pietroxreader @darkcastle167 @neonpurplestars89-blog Tag yourself here...

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silkythewriter · 1 year

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“i love you you may as well take my heart it's already full of you!”pt.1

Summary: they were obsessed In absolute love with you, every step,every breath, every inch of skin on your body, they were absolutely memorized by you, you were the most beautiful person they’ve ever laid eyes on. Soon They’ll show you how much they worship love you

Small warning: Yandere’s, toxic relationships, gore, stalking, ect

Small note:I’ve been feeling creatively drained a bit so I’m working on a self project before moving on and working on requests! :>. I hope y’all don’t mind!

Fandom:Any and all

Daily song suggestion:

They watched silently from afar as they watched your skin lightly glow under the sun, god you were perfect you were an Angel compared to them they didn’t even deserve to be so close to you right now, but they couldn’t help themselves they just had to. They sighed contently as they watched you and your elegance, perfection was the only way they could describe you but at last all good things must come to an end as your friend walked up and started talking to you. Their hands balled into a fist and their eyes furrowed as a frown formed on their face “damnit” they muttered to themselves as your friend blocked their view of you, they would have killed them right there and then but they knew better then to do that after all they wouldn’t want pigs blood on a precious thing like you. Just imagining it made them gag in disgust, they quietly shook off the reaction before backing up into the covers of the shadows and quietly walking over to a new better view. They smiled softly as they heard you giggle, even if they hated that they weren’t the one making you giggle still, they would take what they could at this desperate time they’ve been in, all they wanted was you in their arms and only In their arms the urge to run up to you and tackle you to the ground and never let you go was hard to contain but still they had to mange until their plan came into motion. Just a few more day and they finally might have a chance to be near you and breath your all so lovely scent and to hear that voice they love all so too much.

“Well I’ll be heading off now!” You said to your friend as you gave them a small wave before stepping back and walking off “Bye Y/n!!” They said as they waved behind you, you smiled as you waved back and turned your head to where you were walking to. “I should probably Oder food today.. its way to late to cook now..” you sighed running your fingers through your hair as you thought about the day you had. All day the feeling of eyes watching you was apparent.. yet you could never figure out why.. that uneasy feeling in your stomach didn’t help either it’s like your gut was telling you to run but you didn’t…god you were going to regret that one day when you look back on this moment

A hand found its way to your shoulder as a small tap was made, you jumped slightly from the sudden touch, your skin was covered with goosebumps as a pit formed in your stomach and a ball of saliva formed in your throat which you swallowed nervously as you turned around “hey there! Didn’t mean to scare ya” they chuckled as their eyes scanned over your body “oh no! That’s quite alright, uhm do I know you?” You asked as you tilted your head to the side in confusion, god you were just sickeningly adorable I mean who couldn’t love a face like yours?? “No, you don’t but hopefully you will soon!” They answered happily.. almost to happily something was definitely odd about their character but you quickly shook off the feeling as not to be rude. “Oh?” You said questioningly as you continued walking and watched them quickly walk next to you “I’ve seen you around often!, we live in the same apartment building” they said with a small smile “oh! I’m so sorry.. i must have not noticed you around, it’s been busy these past months” you chuckled nervously as you looked off to the side not sure of what else to say. “That’s alright, I’ve just thought if I see you so often why not get to know you” they said shrugging their shoulders “understandable I guess…” you whispered under your breathe “hm?” They said looking towards you “ah!, nothing, nothing, just talking to myself” you said as you desperately tried thinking of a way to get out of this interaction

You knew it was stupid but the pit in your stomach only grew every second they were around you, you honestly didn’t know why but the uncomfortableness was almost unbearable at this point. Your eyes widen at an idea as a soft smile spread across your face “hey look it was nice talking to you but I gotta go get groceries, thank you so much for the talk though!” You said, if going to the near by dirty grocery store meant getting them off your back you’ll gladly go, fuck take out you’ll just buy a heat up dinner. “Oh well I guess I’m in luck I was heading there too!” They chirped as they smiled to you “oh…. Okay then” you said giving a small fake smile. The feeling of unease just grew and grew the more you walked as your mouth formed a line and your body tensed, maybe you were just being paranoid! Yea..yea! That can explain everything, I mean after all those horror movies you watched yesterday probably had something to do with it

“So what do you do for a living!” They asked eyeing you, they already knew, they already knew everything about you actually but having a chance to talk to you was to hard to give up. “Oh I’m a I/J” you smiled as you kept eyeing the store that you were nearing, maybe you could just sneak off while they weren’t watching and just blend into the crowd of people. “Really? How nice” they said getting even closer to you then needed, you didn’t even notice due to being lost in thought about the plan you’ve created. Finally after an awkward silence you guys stopped at the entrance of the bustling small building, many locals went here even spite of how dirty and old it was, it looked as if it was about to collapse in on itself in any minute hell it still had the old rusty sign from when it was first opened “you first” they said as they walked up and opened the door for you “thank you” you said almost above a whisper

Their un dying smile just grew more, oh this day is gonna be so fun….

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redactedrem · 7 days

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You know what? Fuck you. *Ponifies Batman*

Guys I'm so excited to share my newest project of ponifying the Batfam, it started out small with the hypothetical "I wonder what Batman would be like in a mlp universe." And then the project kept getting bigger and bigger.

If anyones interested in my world building/ headcanons surrounding this project, you can see it under the cut. (I didn't want to make the post too long.)

Incase anybody couldn't read my bad handwriting, I gotchuuu.

-(First pic) Bruce Wayne: Bruce had got his cutiemark the night of his parents death, after the grief had broken his spirit and he realized that he never wanted anypony else to feel the same pain as he does. (He has a fake cutiemark to cover up his obvious destiny)

- The first pic is pretty self explanatory, but I want to make it clear that Bruce's destiny isn't "My parents are dead so now I dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill folk". Because I've seen people on here give hot takes on cutiemarks that directly link them to a ponies destiny.

This goes for specifically in the mlp fandom but (for the sake of being on topic) I'll use the the example of that one post where someone gave the hot take that Jason would get his cutiemark in the warehouse right before he dies (or after he dies? smthing like that) because "It would be really fucked up to know that you were always destined to die." And listen, I can appreciate some good Jason Todd whump as the next guy but knowing that this would be based in a mlp universe . . . just doesn't sit right with me.

It sounds less magical that way. Its like saying that Rainbow Dash was always meant to be the fastest flyer, so theres no point in trying to compete with her. So uhm, trying to stay on topic here. My personal hot take is that a pony's cutiemark is symbol of something that they do/ a skill or talent that they have that makes them happy. And whats a more magical and fulfilling destiny than doing something that makes you happy for the rest of your life?

Looping back to Bruce, he didn't get his cutiemark the moment his parents died, but I like to think that he got it sometime later on in the night. After hours of being checked on by the police, getting looked at by the paramedics, and after Alfred took him home. Its 1:40ish in the morning and tiny foal-Bruce is just staring at his bedroom wall feeling numb and dissociated to hell. And sometime after processing everything that night- he just decides that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him and that he will do anything to make sure that nopony will ever feel the same pain that he has felt. And then-- Ta da!! Cutiemark!! Too bad neither he or Alfred got to experience the excitement when they both saw it the next day :')

(Edit: I didn't know where to put this detail, but Bruce's fake cutiemark is based off of the "Make It Wayne" TV logo from this fanfic here )

-(Second pic) The Bat: This is heavily inspired by Flutterbat, I know theres canonically already a race of bat ponies made from Lunas stunt as Nightmare Moon. But I chose to go through with the Flutterbat route because batponies are a race, and have bat-like features 24/7. In comparison Fluttershy maintains her pegasus appearance by day and transforms into Flutterbat at night (ALSO with there being implications that there are "Triggers" for her transformations in the day too!!) Which adds the "Vampire." right in front of her batpony title.

I might do a lil comparison chart between vampire batponies and regular batponies in the future or something. But for now I'm focusing on my batpony Bruce Wayne headcanons so yea. My point is that I felt like making Bruce a "vampire" batpony would give him a more solid secret identity with also the bonus of a really metal origin story.

Now we all know that the canonical origin story of batman is that a few months after the tragedy of his parents death, Bruce had fallen into a cave? a well? a pit? of bats and triggered a fear of bats since then. Later on he decides to become Batman so he can invoke the fear of bats he once had into the criminals of Gotham. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now canonically, we don't know the exact science on how Fluttershy turned into Flutterbat. What we do know is that at the time, pony magic is not researched enough for Twilight to be aware that Fluttershys "Stare" is her own form of pony magic and that it would interfere with Twilights spell.

Do you see where I'm getting at here? Uhmm don't ask me what exactly happened in the cave, I'm doing this for fun and thinking about it too hard makes me spiral. But uhmm something something- Bruce looked at a bat in the eye and decided to embrace his biggest fear to fuel his cause, and his already traumatized and fucked up pony magic had transformed his body- something something. (Edit: I didn't think about this until now but maybe Fluttershys "Stare" and Bruces "Bat Glare" could be a usage of the same form of magic? Just a thought)

I'll probably come up with a more suitable explanation in the future, but like I said. All of this is just for fun.

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joshusten · 8 months

Text

bitter melon (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Honey got stood up on a date and Guy tried to save their night.

(pre-relationship, hurt/comfort, jealousy (hohohoho), slight misunderstanding, conflict between characters, making up, fluff) 4.6k+ words [ao3 link] [masterlist]

[cw/notes: insecurities, self-depreciating thoughts and a lil breakdown im sorry honey has some issues over here (projecting moment?), NOT PROOFREAD as always LMAOO

ALSO sadly guy isnt as silly (maybe really ooc) as he is most of the fic because he has Internal Conflict + i tried to make honey’s outfit and appearance as ambiguous as possible but i’m not sure how well i did with that ;---; so just keep that in mind! Idk how to feel about this fic ! i love it and i hate it LMAO]

"Oooh, what's got you all dressed up, roomie?"

It was the weekend—Kayla had just been picked up by her boyfriend, which had Guy realizing he and his favorite roommate had the place all to themselves for a few hours. As far as he recalled, he was off from work, and they hadn’t mentioned any errands to him for today. Perfect!

Guy had a bounce in his step as he arrived by the entrance to the room at the leftmost side of their shared apartment. He rapidly knocked at the door with a giddy “Hello?”, eagerly waiting for the response that he knew would always come.

Hm, which game should they play this time? Smash was always an option but he wouldn’t mind trying something new with them. They could even watch some random YouTube documentary again like they did last time. Or maybe he can finally muster up the courage to ask them if they want to hang out somewhere outside the apartment that isn’t for laundry or groceries.

He smiled to himself. Yeah, I’d like that. They can go to that new arcade that opened up nearby!

Before Guy can daydream more of sharing smiles in photo booths and frustratingly rigged crane games, the door opens to reveal the subject of his reverie, clad in clothing and accessories flashier than what they would typically wear. He got a whiff of a pleasant fragrance too and he realized that they must have put on a perfume of some kind.

Woah.

They looked…amazing. They've always looked amazing. He had thought that about his grumpy companion even before the pair got close. But, seeing them in anything other than their usual casualwear or pajamas was definitely a surprise.

The teasing amount of skin they had exposed didn’t go unnoticed by him, as well.

His roommate, by all means, was no prude. They even had their fair share of comebacks more vulgar than his flirts when they banter (Those particular interactions definitely do not keep him up at night, blushing and wide-eyed while he stares at the ceiling. Nope. Never.) This side of them, however, was something he’d never seen before until now. This side of how they present themselves with such boldness was new and he didn’t mind it at all.

The outfit looked good on them. Too good. A seductive dark top that very much complemented the tone of their skin, unbuttoned dangerously low enough to reveal the expanse of their collarbone that was adorned by a simple necklace.

Their shoes gave them more height too, slightly towering over Guy more than they already did before and forcing him to tilt his head up a little for their eyes to meet. The dizzying scent of their cologne paired with those pants that hugged their figure just right had his mind reeling. It was mortifying—how they had him in such a daze so easily.

Fuck.

Guy gulped nervously.

“You going out tonight with friends o–or something?” he frantically adds, suddenly aware of how much he was probably staring amidst his very appropriate train of thought about the person before him. Admittedly, the man was a little bummed that his plans to take them out first (Platonically, of course. How else would it be?) were off the table, though his interest had been piqued by what they were up to being dressed like that.

"Oh, uhm, no. I mean, yeah? Kinda? I'm…" They looked hesitant and a little…embarrassed? Well if it's something they don't want to share then he didn’t mind. Despite how much of a menace he is (with his roommate never failing to lovingly remind him of this), Guy wouldn’t want to force anything out of them, especially if it got them so uncharacteristically timid. He tends to forget such social cues, but he actively tries to improve and avoid being so pushy.

As he was about to reassure them that it was okay to not respond, they replied with a bashfulness that was unlikely of them, “I’m…going on a date.”

A date? With someone else? Romantically? He felt his grip on the door frame tighten, and a sharp pang shot through his heart, silencing his buzzing mind for a split second before managing to fake a curious smile.

“Oh? Who are they? Do I know them?” He liked to think he inquired them out of politeness, like a nosey friend pestering someone about their crush, but the thought of his roommate being alone with someone for the night leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He had the need to asses this person, and determine if they really were worthy of their time—of them—for reasons he isn’t really sure of, it just felt like instinct.

Guy internally cringed. What the fuck does that mean? Why the hell is he thinking like this? Protective! He’s being protective, of course. Any friend would want to protect their friend with things like these! A love life is a huge factor in someone’s happiness after all, right? So he, as a friend, can definitely be wary if someone could be a potential risk of heartbreak for their friend.

Okay, if he thinks of the word ‘friend’ one more time he might actually lose it.

He needed a cold shower. Yeah! He just needs a nice cold shower to shock his brain and stop the weirdest fucking thoughts from ever forming, especially thoughts concerning his roommate that’s currently driving him crazy in every way possible.

“Ah, no, I don’t think so. He’s from my class.” They shrugged, looking to the side awkwardly. “I dont know, he just asked me out yesterday and I figured, ‘Why not?’”

Guy hands began to twitch involuntarily as his roommate smiled at themself, oblivious to the spiral that he was having. "My friends kept on saying I should try letting loose and going out more so I guess it’s about time.”

“Oh, uh, hope you enjoy, then.” God, he feels light-headed.

“Well, isn’t this a first. What, no witty remark? No innuendo about me finally ‘getting some’?” Guy fought the urge to grimace. Somehow those jokes would do nothing but sour his mood even more instead.

“Hey,” The man started, struggling to keep his voice steady. “Can’t I wish a friend good luck on their date?” Friend. The word felt worse and worse the more it festered in his mind. Yeah, that’s what they were. What they’ll ever be. Nothing more.

“Pfft, whatever, man.” The smirk grew wider on their lips. They seem really excited and he shamefully thinks it might make him vomit at how eager they are for this date. He should support them, right? Guy can see how his roommate tends to keep to themself most of the time, especially when Kayla’s with them. So seeing them go out of their comfort zone should have been a relief. He should be happy for them.

Whenever Guy was with them, being happy was easy. So why was he having such a hard time now?

Their grin dropped when they glanced at their watch with widened eyes. “Oh shit, I think I need to go.”

They opened their bedroom door and lifted up their arms from the side in a way to reveal more of what they were wearing. “How do I look?”

Yup, feeling dizzy again. Remember to breathe, Guy.

“Uh, yeah, y–you look great! Really.” Guy put on a strained smile. “Have fun, just don’t miss me too much, though. Might be unbecoming for your date.” He prays to god they don’t notice how his voice wavered at the end.

They rolled their eyes with a familiar chuckle that usually follows whenever he makes a joke, “Pfft, whatever.”

Waving him goodbye as they rush to the exit. “Don’t wait for me when you’re gonna eat dinner, by the way. I might be home late!” One last look on their watch had them walking faster. “Okaygottacatchthebusnowbye–!”

He heard the gentle click of the door shutting and the apartment felt lonelier than what he’s used to.

—

Tap, tap, tap.

“In old legends, tales long forgotten, the sea is often said to be unkind.

The sea’s temper is short, and his rage is felt through the angry swells of the water that eat sailors alive. His strength is tremendous, taking down the tallest of mountains and sinking whole countries with his surging claws. But most of all, his cruel waves do not discriminate, drowning both the wicked and the innocent altogether. He cares not for the last breath he takes from their lungs to fill with salt and water and death.

Despite his hostility, the sea yearns for the moon.

Whenever the moon came down to greet him like an old, treasured friend, the waters still. All is tranquil when the sky and the sea meet. The sea breeze is calm as the children play by the shore. The people were grateful, for the sea had fallen for the beauty in the sky.

But all good things never last.

The sea became selfish. He loathes the time when the moon eventually ascends to the abode of angels, their home. He loathes the loneliness that becomes of him when he can no longer feel the warmth of their glow. His loathing turns into wallowing in sorrow until he decides that he has had enough.

His calm waves suddenly grow with the intent to seize, to take, to keep the jewel of the night for himself. His desire for them to stay overflowed into his foolish actions that had done nothing but have the moon be victim to the harshness he had reserved for men.

The moon wept, and the sea received their tears. He had hurt them. He had hurt them in his act of love. They returned to the skies, burdened to carry the melancholy of a broken heart and the sea remains, afraid to cause more harm.

The moon never came down again.

His attempts to reconnect bear no fruit. A different kind of madness consumed him, wrapping around his very soul like how guilt wraps around the sinners. It’s God’s punishment, he deems, for his covetous ways. To chase for the sky but never touch the clouds, to stretch up to the heavens but never high enough.

He had realized that they could not be attained.

They will not come back for him.

Yet he continues to reach high above, hoping for the blessing of a god birthed by pity. To push his tides to the limit for a chance to be in the moon’s presence once more until the end of time.

It is all but a myth, ancient words that the people of the present cannot truly decipher, but all its messages share the same sentiment;

The sea is…”

“Hm.”

Tap, tap, tap.

“The sea is mysterious?”

“No, no, no…”

Tap, tap, tap.

“The sea is prideful?”

“Ugh, that doesn’t sound right either.”

Tap, tap, tap.

“The sea is spiteful?

Vitriolic?

Rancorous?”

The living room which was once filled with the constant stream of clicking laptop keys came to an abrupt halt. I give up. This whole ‘running away from your issues’ thing really isn’t working.

That same irritating pain still persisted. It was becoming less of an annoyance and more of a discomfort, aching to the point that Guy started to rub his chest a few times in an attempt to soothe it. What is up with me today? Even after the cold shower that he was sure would solve his current predicament, the feeling of unease still lingered.

He figured he might as well do the writing exercises that his professor had assigned a few days ago to distract himself yet it was of no help at all. In fact, it was just fueling the fire of these messy emotions that he had been feeling. His tired eyes closed, fingers circling his throbbing temples, as he racked his mind for something that would best fit the final line. I swear to god it’s at the tip of my tongue!

His mind snapped out of focus after hearing the noise of the door suddenly opening. He managed to haphazardly type a word to try out before it could escape his mind so that he could finally finish this troubling assignment that had opened more problems he had meant to solve.

The sound of heavy footsteps reached his ears and they burned, knowing full well who had just barged in. Speak of the devil. His roommate finally returned along with the sinking feeling in his ribs. They had gotten back from their date. Guy made sure to put on his most convincing smile.

“Hey, roomie! Back already? How was it?”

“Uh, yeah, hi.” They didn’t bother to look at him, ignoring his eager questions while they hastily set down the small bag they brought. Guy sees them navigate through the kitchen to fill up a glass of water and hungrily gulp it down. “I-is Kayla here?”

He frowned, shifting his body to face where they were in the kitchen. “Uh, no. She texted me that she was staying over with her boyfriend. Why?”

“Thank god.”

“Yeah, I know right? So, uh, how’s the date?”

No response came again, His roommate was seemingly distracted by whatever they were scrolling through on their phone but it was clear that they were purposely ignoring him.

“He-ey! I asked how the date was. Did something happen?” They were as timid as they were before. And like before, the unease in his gut grew.

“U-uhm, it was fine.” The man heard them murmur. Why were they so secretive? They seemed frazzled and they were doing that thing where they touched their cheeks to cover their face whenever they got warm because they were…flustered. Are they–? On that date, did they–? Did something happen like that between them and their date?

Unnoticed by his roommate, Guy’s eyes widened. The pain in his chest returned tenfold. This should’ve been a good thing. That means they had a great time. Why is he mad? Why does he get that sinking feeling? Why does he feel so spiteful about it?

“What, no juicy details? Oh, I get it. You’re keeping secrets from me! Not a kiss-and-tell typa person now, are we?”

Maybe it was stupid of him to prod, especially about the one thing that set this rollercoaster of confusing emotions in the first place. But he needs to know. What did they do? How was it? Did they like it— being with him instead of Guy?

They continued to ignore his lighthearted interrogations and Guy knew that he should’ve just dropped it at this point but something in him snapped all of a sudden. He isn’t sure if the agitation that built up had got to him but he couldn’t stop himself from blurting out his next words—harsher than intended.

“Hey, I'm not the selfish one over here who left me all alone inside at a weekend while they got to actually enjoy the night in some fancy restaurant or something. C’mon, spill!”

The lightness in his tone never left. In fact, to anyone else, it would’ve sounded like his usual playful nagging Both of them, however, noticed the shift in the direction of their conversation. (Since when was he one to provoke someone?) He’ll blame it on being in the heat of the moment for now. They understand he was just curious like that, right? All he was sure of was that he needed to know what happened. Why is he mad? Stop being mad. They didn’t do anything wrong.

He noticed their flinch far too late.

“I got stood up, Guy. Was that what you wanted to hear? Because, god forbid, I get to actually go out and do shit for myself!” The acidity of the way they said his name sent chills up to his spine. Their voice was eerily still, its coldness made Guy’s blood freeze. “Because I’m such a selfish asshole to enjoy things for once, right?”

“Oh.”

Oh fuck. He fucked up.

“Yeah, oh,” A dry chuckle left their quivering lips. “Can’t believe I fucking thought he would actually show up. Thought somebody wasn’t fucking around with me for once and I–” They abruptly stood up. The harsh scrape of the chair puts the whole room into an uncomfortable silence.

They weren’t flustered from the date, they were embarrassed. Humiliated. They had probably been waiting for that douchebag to show up only to receive false hope and pitying glances. And he just had to add insult to injury by being when he clearly should’ve just listened, should’ve stopped, should’ve comforted them. He can finally see the tears that began to stream down their face.

“It’s whatever. I’ll be in my room.”

“Fuck, I–I’m sorry. I didn’t know that he–”

But they had already slammed their bedroom door with a force that shook the place. Guy stayed sitting on the couch, all alone once more. Great, you just had to be a dick because of your stupid fucking…feelings about the thought of them spending their time with someone else!

He’s pathetic.

Here he was brooding over his roommate going out on a date only for whoever that moron was to throw away the fucking chance to spend time with them. But maybe he’s the bigger moron in this case. The guilt seeped into his bones and he felt them ache. What is going on with him? He was supposed to be there for them. To be a decent friend. But now, he just ruined their already shitty night more.

Truly pathetic.

His eyes darted to the last line he had typed on his laptop and he held his breath.

"The sea is a jealous being."

The lump in his throat became harder to swallow. He needs to make it up to them.

—

This is stupid. This is fucking stupid.

They should have never gone with it. They should have never accepted that asshole’s offer in the first place.

The faint sounds of an old TV series played from their phone, which had long been abandoned within patterned sheets, accompanied the figure that was currently trembling under the blankets. Stuttering, hiccuped gasps filled the room with a suffocating gloom. They think their hoarse throat couldn’t handle another broken sob to let out, having already cried every single last drop of their wallow out hours ago, their hot cheeks sticky from its tears.

It wasn’t like this was the first time something involving relationships didn’t work out with them. They were used to it. They should be used to it—being left out, avoided, and unwanted. (It’s just a stupid date, it wasn’t even meant to be serious. Why are you making it a big deal? Why are you so affected?)

Why are they so affected by this? What made them think they were all-so-suddenly desirable to someone? Why did they even think they had a shot at all this lovey-dovey shit in the first place?

Stupid, stupid, stupid. They’re shit with expressing their emotions and even shittier with dealing with them. Their outburst a while ago was a testament to that, shouting at Guy when he didn’t know any better. Maybe everything tonight was doomed from the start, then. They should’ve expected the hurt. Heartbreak was far from being a stranger to them at this point.

A tired groan came out of them again.

Tired. They’re so tired.

Hungry rumbles erupted from their stomach. Damn it. Thanks to their ‘date’, they weren’t able to eat. Fuck it. Waiting out until Guy’s in bed and sneaking out of their room to eat would probably be the best option. For now, they stay bundled in their bed—thoughts spiraling, head pounding, eyes swollen, and a heavy heart waiting for its pieces to be picked up again.

Then they’ll sleep it off like always. And then they’ll confront him about it, play it off like it’s another bad day so he’ll stop worrying because they know he will. Everything’s back to normal— they’ll apologize for the overreaction, he’ll joke about it and everybody goes on with their lives again.

Yeah. That could work.

Knock, knock!

“Hello?”

What the–? Ugh. For the love of–

“Hello? Roomie? You there?”

When they wanted to confront the roommate that they snapped at, they didn’t mean right now!

“What do you want, Guy?”

“Can you come out, please? It’s…important.”

They finally stood up from their blanket cocoon, hastily wiping the tears from their eyes to try and ‘shoo’ their roommate away. The door swung open, ready to put on their whole grumpy facade again. “Guy, I’m not really in the mood for–”

“Good evening, prestige customer! Your dinner awaits.”

What.

“Wha-- How did– When did you–?” Not giving any mind to Guy’s abominable impersonation of a British accent nor the messy scrawls of black ink on paper that vaguely resembles a mustache taped to his mouth, their eyes wander around the living room, confused and curious.

The atmosphere was completely different from the bleak apartment they had been enduring for months. Multicolored lights that they usually use for the holidays hung around the area, providing the dim room with enough light to give a dreamy ambiance. The small foldable table set they had for eating was moved to the middle, covered in what they remembered to be Guy’s freshly cleaned checkered blanket that they had just picked up from the laundry when they were doing errands.

On the table were some scented candles in mismatched glass containers, and two servings of a dish they couldn’t recognize. They even noticed faint jazzy music playing in the background to imitate the mood of a pretentiously lavish restaurant.

Overall, the decor clashed together horribly, yet despite that, they’d never seen the apartment so charming. The improvised set-up looks endearingly…cozy.

“Come, let me guide you to your table,” Guy, err, the waiter, dressed in a white longsleeved button-up and apron, led them to the center, pulling out a chair and tucking the napkin he had around the collar of their shirt. The man directed their attention to the ceramics containing what seemed to be their dinner this evening.

“Our main course that the chef has prepared for tonight is a creative twist of a classic European dish composed of a rich tomato-based sauce paired with a unique and innovative pasta shell shape, garnished with traditional Italian herbs and spices.” “Guy, that’s a bowl of SpagetthiOs with some dried basil sprinkled on top,”

“Shush! Don’t ruin the immersion. And I am not Guy! I’m a waiter! Ahem!” The totally legitimate server who is not their roommate coughed very un-fakely, before composing himself in a more very real professional stance (then again, that might actually be real, seeing that he also serves the tables at Max’s when he’s not out delivering).

“I believe your date has returned. A very dashing fellow if I do say so myself, consider yourself lucky!” Guy suddenly ducked down out of view (though they could very much see him all the same) removing the mustache and button-up to reveal a shirt with a tacky tuxedo print on it.

He stood up, fixed a few strands of his hair that stuck up from his sudden movement, and looked at the person in front of him with a beaming expression.

“Hey, honey! Just got back from the restroom. Wow! The food looks amazing!”

All ‘Honey’ could do was stare dumbfoundedly before covering their smiling mouth with a trembling hand. A small chuckle became a bemused giggle until eventually they were full-on belly-laughing.

“H-Honey? Really? Where did you even get that from? And what the hell are you w-wearing?” Their voice shook, unable to contain any semblance of composure. This whole situation felt like it was pulled straight from a rom-com.

Guy laughed with them as he sat down to his side of the table. “Oh, so you like it? The nickname…came to me naturally. Feel like it suits you a lot, seeing how sweet you are to me, right?”

Honey, huh? They wouldn’t mind him calling them that.

“Also, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I think I look the most classy I’ll ever be!”

“Well, I’m underdressed then.” Their laughter had died down, slowly processing everything going on, well, it made them want to cry. All of this, for them? It’s too much trouble to go through.

“Nah, you’re fine! And besides, you look pretty all the time—which by the way, is absolutely not fair! I’m supposed to be the hot roommate here!” He declared with a mock offended tone as he sassily put his hands on his hips. Honey hoped he wouldn’t notice how their cheeks burned at how casually he called them ‘pretty’, like it was second nature.

“Then again, I wouldn’t mind if you underdress some more, ehh–”

It was his comfortingly familiar lewd quips, something they didn’t realize they missed hearing, yet why did their eyes water instead? The sobs that they weren’t aware they had been keeping in broke their dam again. Their cheeks must’ve grown tired from their crying all night, but this time, these weren’t tears for some dickhead that ditched them.

The abrupt stop of laughter and panicked sputtering from Guy after hearing their croaky sniveling would have had Honey laughing if they weren’t already struggling to breathe from their convulsive crying. “Oh, fuck! Uh, okay, sorry! I’m sorry! Bad timing! I shouldn’t have joked–”

“No, no, Guy, I’m sorry I–” They let out a shaky breath. “Wh–why did you go through all the trouble for me? I-I snapped at you and I don’t–,” hands wildly gestured around their surroundings. “–deserve all of this! I don’t– I’m so sorry I–”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize. You deserve this, okay? If someone like Kayla gets to share a night with her boyfriend then you, out of all people, deserve to spend your weekend having a great time and I won’t let some jerk ruin that for you,” He looked at Honey in the eyes with a sincerity that involuntarily made them shiver.

It’s not often that Guy was this serious with them. It was only reserved for moments when it was late at night and their teasing and gossip turned into deeper talks about anything and everything. They forgot how intense the look in his pretty eyes could get, how it felt like he saw through them, through their very being.

“I’m…one of those jerks, too. I really shouldn’t have said those words to you. You’re not selfish or an asshole. Your date was the asshole for not showing up and that’s a reflection on him rather than yourself. I just sprouted out those stupid things because I was just…bitter that you had your own plans when I really didn’t have the right to be.” Among other things. He decided not to bring up the other messy emotional stuff in his head. It’s not what they need to hear right now. “I’m really sorry for pushing you. I…really hope that you can forgive me but I would understand if you won’t.”

“I forgive you, Guy. Thank you for… for all of this. It really means a lot.”

They shared a tender smile as they continued their chatting with their dinner. By the time they cleaned the dishes and put everything back in its original place, the pair plopped down on the soft cushions of their sofa. Guy shifted himself into a better position to face Honey.

“I’m surprisingly still not sleepy. What else do you wanna do for tonight?”

“Hm…Smash?”

“Honey! How scandalous! Take me out to dinner first! Oh, well technically, I already did, so I guess your wish is my command after all—Ow!”

“I meant the game, you freak!” --- THIS FIC TOOK SOOOOO LONG i was so close to giving it up BUT WE'RE HERE EYYYY also this was suppose to have a bonus scene but ehhhh idk where i was going with it rlly rlly hope you enjoyed ;--; i'm still not rlly happy with how i wrote this but there are some parts that i rlly like so i decided to post it HAHAHAHA feel free to give me feedback :DD and have a nc day/night!!

#redacted audio #redacted guy #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted honey #redacted fanfic #sten writes!#FINALLYYYYY #LIKE THIS TOOK SO LONG ITS NOT FUNNYYY #literally ruined my sleep sched BUT EYYY #i like the guy writing assignment part nyeheheh #haha get the title...bitter melon bc guy's bitter and green (with jealousy) hahahahha #thinking up the title took so long also i just thought that the word melon looks cute

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hypnoneghoul · 8 months

Text

Why Have You Waited So Long? Chapter 1

Chapter 2

WC: 1820

Tags: Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions Of Vomiting, Loneliness, Angst, Hurt No Comfort

He wasn’t an attention whore, he really wasn’t, he was just- he was just so broken. It hurt so much. “It’ll get better, after the tour,” Phantom was telling himself, “they’ll warm up to me, it’ll get better. They’ll notice.”

Notes: uhm... sorry? self indulgent angst, im trying to cope lmao

Read chapter 1 under the cut or on AO3.

Phantom had been summoned over seven months ago. The Ghost project had left for tour, Phantom’s first tour, over two weeks ago.

He’d spent those seven months practising until his fingers bled, until his joints were burning, until his wrist was cramped, until he could barely open a bottle of water himself. He was focusing on his guitar skills, he had to. He couldn’t disappoint anyone when the time to step on stage came. Not his fellow band ghouls, not Papa, the Clergy, the fans, himself, Aether.

He’d rest after the tour, he’d spend more time with his pack after the tour, it was fine. He was going to be fine. He had to do his best, like all of them.

Phantom was telling himself those words all the time, over and over again until his words became shaky and his face wet with tears.

He was so alone.

There were people all around, and Phantom was so alone it physically hurt.

The ghouls were pack creatures, they needed other ghouls to survive, they couldn’t live and function on their own. He had wondered if that was what his pain was, the solitude. He had wondered if he could get sick because of it, maybe die. Maybe it would be better if he did.

After all, there had to be something wrong with him if his pack had rejected him.

The ghouls welcomed him when he was summoned, showed him the basics of living on earth, Aether gave him a guitar to practise on and… that was it. They all just got back to their own lives after a week. Phantom should’ve expected it, barging into an already established pack that was together for years, but… Aurora was taken under the ghoulette’s wings, fully accepted and loved from the very moment she appeared in the summoning circle.

Not Phantom, though.

He knew ghoulettes functioned differently than ghouls, but… didn’t he deserve love too? He had hoped maybe they wanted to give him space to get used to the Topside world on his own, to not overwhelm him but that’s not what he wanted, not what he needed.

Maybe they had found there was something wrong with him?

He was so alone.

The rehearsals had started then. Every laugh that carried through the practice room pained him, every smile, every glimpse he caught of other ghouls touching, being comfortable with each other, loving each other, the content, happy smells filling the room felt like a knife being repeatedly shoved into his heart and twisted, like he was being bled dry.

He held himself together as best as he could and waited until he was physically alone, hiding in his room to cry, to scream, to throw up.

Not that anyone would care if he did so in the middle of the practice stage.

He was so alone, it hurt so much.

But he had enough time to… get used to it, to some extent. Phantom was able to act normal, act like nothing bothered him, pretend he was fine, happy. Even though he knew no one would notice if he didn’t keep the facade up, if he let the mask crack. Let the cracks bleed.

It worked well until the constant pain and hollow feeling in his chest got too much and he’d break. Just once in a while. He wouldn’t have a choice but to give up and cry all his pain and bottled up need out to leave himself an empty vessel. Ready to be filled with sorrow again.

He’d patch himself up as soon as possible, though. He was used to his pathetic little episodes already, too.

“It’ll get better, after the tour,” Phantom was telling himself, “they’ll warm up to me, it’ll get better. They’ll notice.”

No one cared about him, for him.

He didn’t get invited for movie nights, into cuddle piles, no one wanted him in his bed, there wasn’t even any chores for him around the Abbey. It was a miracle he had a plate for himself during meals. Even if it felt like only leftovers were dropped onto it.

He was just a ghost in the den, he was a… a phantom.

Not really there, not in any way that mattered.

He’d tried to not get in anyone’s way when they first left for tour, the bus was already cramped. He kept to himself, spent as much time in his bunk as possible, didn’t bother anyone, rarely spoke and only when spoken to.

When he cried, he did so into his pillow. He didn’t want to wake anyone up, they were all exhausted already, they deserved to rest.

Even when he knew most of them were awake.

He cried when he heard muffled giggles, sounds of wet kisses, sounds of sex, purring.

He could hear the love he was being denied.

Phantom was still so stupidly full of hope. He was keeping himself out of the way, maybe someone would notice and ask him if he was doing alright, invite him to go out into the city they were currently in, invite him to cuddle, propose to touch him.

He needed touch, so bad.

He prayed for it to Lucifer every night, sealing his pleads with tears… and blood sometimes, when his mental anguish reached an unbearable level and he needed to get grounded again. Never on purpose, his claws just… itched to sink into his arm, his thigh, to calm the storm raging inside him using a precisely inflicted distraction.

He had learned to phrase his prayers with more care.

He had gotten the touch, just… not like he wanted to.

They didn’t practise the pre-show hug and bows back at the Ministry. They didn’t practise touch.

There was no touch before.

He wasn’t prepared.

Phantom had panicked when he got dragged into the group hug, he didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t register one word Papa had said, all he could think about was all the points of contact that felt like cigarettes being put out on his skin.

When Swiss had gripped his hand for bows the first time, he looked around and tried to look like he knew what was going on, like he knew what he was supposed to do. Aurora did.

That simple, brief touch, sliver of skin on skin contact had been like an electric shock, like fire crawling up his arm, burning, melting skin and meat off of his bones. It was so warm.

And he never felt colder than when his hand was released.

He wanted to break down and cry right there.

Was this going to be all he’d ever get?

That night he had held his hand to his face and imagined the breath that tickled his tear soaked skin was someone else's, that the soft kisses he placed on himself were from someone else’s lips.

It was so cold.

Some time into the tour he figured out it was expected of him to fit into the dynamics, have his own unscripted stage antics and interactions with his fellow band members. He had to at least look like he was having fun and not an existential crisis.

Phantom came up with something he was telling himself was not selfish. Not at all. It was for the fans, for the show, all the ghouls did it, he was just trying to fit in.

He didn’t need to ask for it, it didn’t have to be earned.

He started initiating contact, begging for touch, anything, even if only through the uncountable layers of their uniforms. He’d slink up to Rain, Dew, Swiss, even Papa, bump into someone, try to interact, to get any attention.

He wasn’t an attention whore, he really wasn’t, he was just-

He was just so broken. It hurt so much.

Every day a ritual was going to take place he had to prepare, brace himself that whole day, just to not collapse under the weight of a sliver of touch when he’d inevitably be subjected to that burning feeling. And then the cold.

Phantom really had hope, so much of it. He had hoped the tour may have changed something, that his pack saw how desperate and lonely he was, how he constantly reeked of anguish. But how were they supposed to know that was how his misery smelled if he had never smelled of anything else?

Nothing had changed, Phantom was stupid to hope for anything at this point. That was his life, he was always going to be alone, there was no changing his fate.

Phantom broke down again, that realisation hitting him like a freight train a few days after they got back from tour. He had spent most of those days in his room, as everyone. At least that was what he had been told.

He had left his room one evening to get himself a glass of water for the night, padded sleepily to the kitchen, mouth hanging open in a yawn, eyes half shut. He had to pass the common room to get there, though, and-

And everyone was there.

Everyone, including Aether and Sunshine, they were all cuddled up tightly together on the makeshift nest on the floor in front of the TV.

Swiss, Mountain and Aether were sitting up with their back against the couches that were moved slightly back. Dew was curled up against Aether’s side, Rain resting with his back against Swiss’ chest. The ghoulette’s were piled up on top and around Mountain. Nine tails tangled together, the movie only a background noise to all their purring

Phantom’s knees buckled, the glass he intended on filling up slid out of his hand and shattered on the floor with a noise that made the ghoul flinch. Just like his heart.

No one had heard neither the glass nor Phantom breaking.

He ran back to his room on wobbly legs, feeling himself slip into paralysing panic. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t think.

He barely managed to shut his door before his legs, his whole body, gave out and he fell to the floor. Sobs were wrecking his body, his wails were bouncing off of the walls and slamming back into his eardrums.

It hurt, it hurt so much.

He wanted to hope, one last time, that someone would hear his cries, that someone would feel his pain and come to him, help him, touch him, fix him.

That someone would notice the broken glass and shards of his heart laying amongst the clear pieces on the ground and come to pick him up, glue him back together.

No one heard him.

No one felt him.

No one came to help him.

No one touched him.

The only glue that would be able to fix him had already dried, it had been waiting too long to be used.

Phantom was always going to be alone and broken.

#hypnone writes #phantom ghoul #aeon ghoul #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #fanfiction

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melverie · 26 days

Text

Aaahhh, thank you so much for the tag @king-a-queen!! 💚💚

15 Questions Tag Game

01 - Are you named after anyone?

First name: nope Second name: yep, after my grandma

02 - When was the last time you cried?

About a week ago bc I was laughing too hard Also techinically this morning. My eyes just started tearing up a bit while I was still in bed & staring against the wall. I guess that white wall was just tugging at my heartstrings

03 - Do you have kids?

The only children I have are my OCs <3 My current beloved OCs are Aym, Marchosias (💖💖💖💖💖), and Baal; all for Obey Me

04 - What sports do you play/have you played?

So as a kid, I took MSE (self-defense) classes, I did ballet for a short while, and I played badminton. But now I'm not really doing much sports anymore. I'm occasionally working out in a sad attempt to stay healthy but that's...not working out all that well because I keep forgetting about it lol. That being said, I walk anywhere as long as it's a walkable distance away (to me, that's around 90min max), idc it's the European mindset. Der Fußbus hält überall :)

05 - Do you use sarcasm?

As if I would ever smh what are these accusations

06 - What is the first thing you notice about people?

When I pass strangers on the street, I try to look for little moments that bring them joy. That being said, 90% of the time I'm just lost in my own thoughts & have completely tunnel vision, so imagine noticing anything 😭 When I first meet people tho, it's usually the way they look at you, which tbh is a little ironic because I sometimes just cannot look people in the eyes NFDHSKGJHKSDLGS

07 - What's your eye color?

They used to be blue, but now they're more of a greyish green with a few brown spots in them

08 - Scary movies or happy endings?

Okay endings, actually! Where characters don't get the happy ending they were hoping for, and some things are still a little messy, but all in all things are okay and they finally get to breath again. Though I guess that's kind of a happy ending? lol

09 - Any talents?

My newest talent is being able to imitate the cry of an owl. My sister explained it to me earlier & once I got it to work I've been doing it non-stop until I got lightheaded 😭 Worth it tho Other than that, being able to teach myself the basics of a lot of things within a day (one of the upsides of ADHD), as well as abandoning a lot of my projects after a while because I suddenly decided to start a completely different one (one of the downsides of ADHD) I also have a real talent for writing angst. Ask any of my closer mutuals, I keep terrorizing them with my ideas (love you guys 💖) And finally: telling myself that I'll go to sleep early & then it's 5am

10 - Where were you born?

in Germanyyy fun fact: I was born more or less close to a town that has a store called 'Mephisto' lol

11 - What are your hobbies?

being insane, obviously 💚 some of my mutuals can surely attest to that lol No, but in general I enjoy writing & drawing, as well as, uhm. Randomly deciding to take up multiple really time-consuming projects, such as the OM card rec thing I did that I still need to update ahhhh, my Obey Me OC & MC ask game that originally had 200+ questions before I cut it in half out of fear of it being too long, half of my side blogs, and SOOOO many other things. <- or in short, being insane 💚 I also really love cooking & baking! Side note, if anyone wants an easy chocolate lava cake recipe, you just need to ask... 👀 Also lately it's just been romancing Thanatos in Hades because I randomly remembered that I hadn't done that yet

12 - Do you have any pets?

I used to have clownfish and a starfish, but other than that I've never had any myself. I love the dogs I dogsit with all my heart tho, and there is this cat that I sometimes meet on my way to work. She always runs up to me when she sees me and won't stop meowing until I start petting her, and last time she climbed onto my lap (I sat down in the middle of the sidewalk, I did not care lmao), she's literally the sweetest 😭😭 I also ring the doorbell for her whenever it rains so she doesn't have to stay outside lol

13 - How tall are you?

1,68m or 5'6 if I got the conversion correct lol

14 - Favourite subject in school?

Heavily depended on the teacher, but generally art class because we usually got to work on whatever we wanted with and listen to music. Also English in 9th grade, math in 10th and German in 11th because the teachers were great

15 - Dream job?

I've been thinking of translations in general/software localizition for a while now. I just love dissecting all the small differences between languages (D.D.D.s being called 'D3' my beloved), + there are so many invisble choices made when translating. You'll always lose something because every language has its little quirks and a different mindset that can't be translated directly, but you'll also gain something that the original version didn't have. It's an art form in itself, and I really love that <3 The other job that keeps popping into my mind is event mangement. I already get to organize a ton of things for my uni since I'm part of the student council for one of my two majors. It's exhausting, but also really rewarding when you have people come up to you afterwards to tell you how much fun they had!

No pressure tags for a bunch of people, hehe >:) @alpine-forget-me-nots @healersadjust @misc-magic @sweetbrier2908 @reblogs-are-the-love @shootingstarrfish @mjoria @too-much-gacha @layphie @katboykirby @ghostlyyraccoon @lost-in-lamentation @bagofwetmice @glamphantasm @wizardthesai @mellonyheart @arlatthan as well as anyone else that wants to join!

#tag game #15 questions tag games #if anyone tagged would rather answer with a different blog of theirs then go ahead! i have main/side blogs figured out for most of you lol #also if some would rather not get tagged again in the future lmk!!

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sgiandubh · 7 months

Note

Cait’s latest IG follow (latelier3030ibiza)… There are barely any followers and it seems interesting considering Cait apparently is involved in something that’s coming out soon (re: “more details to follow” from that one photographer who posted a portrait of her). Also “Ibiza” seemed funny lol

Maybe this is that new project and FMN actually isn’t coming back? What do you think? I wonder why Cait would be the 26th follower for a brand that’s not even released yet.

Dear Follow Anon,

Thank you for the info: it's latelier303ibiza, if you are looking for it and want to have a chance of finding something.

Just look at her, Our Lady of the Rings. Actively following IG accounts based in New York, as we speak:

The wonderful PEN Club America (the folks at PEN Greece are personal friends of this blogger). For the Mordor ignoramuses, this is world's most prestigious writers' network. Funnily enough, I will soon co-host a book launch with the PEN Greece people (I wrote the Foreword, because I am damn stupid and a nutcase). It is a wonderful interbellum Romanian novel, probably the most beautiful ever written in my native language. And is was translated to Greek by one of our best family friends. /self-promo moment

An art studio in the Meatpacking district. Her taste, not necessarily mine, but duly noted.

And then the Ibiza thing, which looks like... well.. a fashion something. Very clearly a new brand. Looks youthful, funny and uhm... very Eighties?

On verra, Anon. We shall see. As for FMN, I already gave you my sentiment: anything goes.

Just don't hold your breath yet, ok? :)

#Anon

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royalrambler · 6 months

Text

Writing Commissions!! Now Open!!

hihello royal here !!! uhm life happens tbh and i just lost my current source of income, sooo

i’m opening writing commissions !! just dm me here or on discord (moriensstellarum) to start !!

my rates: (cashapp only)

semi cheap since i really do need commissions right now! my cashapp info will be given once the planning process is over!!

$5 usd: every 1k words

+$5 usd: fandoms i am not in or completely original

+$2 usd: for oc, self insert, or x reader works (mc from twisted wonderland doesn’t count!!)

current fandoms:

fire emblem three houses

genshin impact

my hero academia

identity v

bungo stray dogs

haikyuu

demon slayer

good omens

star wars (all movies and shows)

legend of zelda (breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom)

twisted wonderland

project sekai

voltron: legendary defender

pokèmon

danganronpa (in progress)

jujutsu kaisen (in progress)

kingdom hearts (in progress it’s a lot of games)

Persona 5

please be through in explaining what you’d like (i.e. pairings, au if any kind, plot, etc) and allow for 5-8 days from the end of planning for writing to be completed

will do:

fluff

angst

action/violence(to a point)

mild gore or body horror

legal non toxic pairings of any kind(including poly)

if it’s not listed i probably won’t write it. you can still ask since i think i missed a couple of things, but this is your warning you might get denied. i also only write ragbro’s as platonic/familial.

writing sample:

this piece is reposted from my flufftober writing !!

This was a scene that Byleth could go on without repeating over and over again, but alas, the flow of time is a fickle thing, and the loss is necessary. Countless times, they had tried other ways to snap Dimitri back into reality, only to fail in the end. This was the only way to succeed.

The rain was warm, unusual for this area, but it made it seem like the heavens were weeping for the loss of such a great man and knight. Perhaps they were. Byleth certainly had the first few times they lived through it. But now their grief has been replaced by a determination to end this cycle. To have this be the last time they watch as Rodrigue sacrifices himself in order to save Dimitri. Let this be the final version of this particular encounter.

The sky grew darker as Byleth waited, the rain soaking them to the bone. They would continue to wait as long as needed… He would come. And soon, just as many times before, the soon-to-be king rounded the corner, and they stepped out of the shadows into his path.

“What do you want?”

His voice was harsh, almost intentionally so, as if Byleth’s mere presence was an annoyance. The first times they heard it, they flinched and held their tongue to placate the prince. The times after they had responded with anger or indifference. They all worked out in the end, but none were right. But now…

“I know where you’re going. You don't have to do this, Dimitri.” Their voice remained calm, even as anger flashed across his face.

“This isn’t your concern!” Dimitri spat out. “Get out of my way. Now.”

Byleth simply glared as he menacingly stepped closer. If one thing remained true, it was that Dimitri would never harm them. He could act like it was all he wanted, but they knew the truth.

“Going to Enbarr will not fix anything! Do you really think it will appease the dead? Or will it simply add Edelgard’s corpse to those that haunt you?"

“Do not speak of that vile woman as if she is a friend! It is their voices that demand her head! Only then will they finally get to rest peacefully. Don’t speak of matters you could never understand."

Dimitri took a moment, seemingly to compose himself. His anger had faded slightly, making way for something else. Something different. Grief? Was he perhaps finally letting himself grieve for his losses after all these years? Or was it simply resignation?

“Death…” He continued, his voice becoming thick with emotion. “Death is the end. No matter how much lingering regret a person has, after death, they are powerless. They cannot even wish for revenge, much less seek it out. Hatred. Regret. Those burdens fall on the shoulders of those who are left behind. They fall to me. I must continue down this path! And it is far too late to stop... You know this much already."

Byleth’s gaze softened as they watched his anger bleed into resignation and acceptance of his self-imposed fate.

“But you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve got me and so many others! You don’t have to throw your life away in the pursuit of revenge! Surely there is-“

“There is no other way! That is merely the logic of the living. It's meaningless. Those who died with lingering regret... They will not loose their hold on me so easily.

“But you seem to have all the answers... So tell me, professor. Please, tell me... How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I... How do I save them? Ever since that day nine years ago... I have lived only to avenge the fallen. It is the only thing that keeps me alive... My only reason to keep moving forward...”

Byleth let out a soft huff of laughter, mainly out of nervousness. “I haven’t been your professor in a long time, Mitya... I was hardly qualified to be that in the first place, but even I know to not deny the Archbishop. But you’ve suffered enough. You must forgive yourself; move towards accepting the past and embracing the future.”

“But then who…or what…should should I live for?”

“Live for what you believe in. Live for yourself, and if you can’t do that, then make me the reason to keep on living.”

“What I believe in..." Dimitri shook his head slightly and turned his face up towards the sky. “Rodrigue said the same thing. But is it possible? I am a murderous monster. My hands are stained red. Could one such as I truly hope for such a life? As the sole survivor of that day, do I... Do I have the right to live for myself?”

Byleth placed a gentle hand on Dimitri’s cheek and turned his face back towards them. “No one’s hands are ever truly clean in this world. Asking that would be the same as asking me if I deserved the life I live. Each day you continue to live serves as proof that you deserve to live and live for yourself. And if you ever forget that, you will always have me to remind you.”

“I’ve got you…” Dimitri whispered as the professor pulled him into a gentle embrace. As he returned it, Byleth began to softly hum an ancient and gentle song. “You’re… You’re so warm… Have you always been?”

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sallertiafabrica · 11 months

Text

Self-Search in a Messy Room

Félix is pretty sure Marinette is cheating, but he still goes along with her new conditions for their game of “Who Am I?”

(Ao3 link)

I asked @kronehaze for three words for a felinette ficlet prompt, and he gave me “tea, games, and hoodie”. Here’s what came out of it.

———

“Am I alive?”

“Nope. Am I alive?”

“You gotta quit repeating my questions.” Félix huffed, arms crossed, but Marinette recognized the amusement in his voice.

“Answer the question, Félix!”

“Yes. Am I larger than a person?”

Marinette squinted her eyes, head cocking. “Depends…”

“Am I larger than you?” Félix raised an eyebrow.

Although Marinette wasn’t sure what the jab in there was, she still feigned offense like she did. “Hmph. No. Uhm…” She put a hand to her chin. “Am I an animal?”

“No. Am I wearable?”

Marinette bit down the groan as best as she could, but by Félix’s grin, she could tell he saw it right away.

“I’m a hoodie!”

“Yes. But you don’t go singing victory just yet!” she quickly said, extending a palm to stop Félix from taking off the paper on his forehead. She then pulled back, a finger raised as she addressed Félix’s questioning look: “You still haven’t figured which hoodie you are.”

“What?” He blinked, eyebrows raising. “You didn’t actually specify which hoodie, did you?”

Marinette just grinned, reaching for the cup besides her to take a sip of her tea before asking, “Am I a plant?”

“Yes.” Félix had his narrowed eyes fixed on her for a moment, then he turned his head to look around. “Am I in this room?”

Marinette flinched almost imperceptibly. “Maybe.”

“Marinette…”

“Yes, yes. Fine!” She groaned to the ceiling, placing her teacup down with a clink—good thing it was almost empty, or it might’ve sloshed her carpet. “I hate how smart you are.”

Félix’s satisfied hum as he stood up only made her sulk more.

“Am I a flower?”

“Yes.” He picked a piece of cloth from her bed. “Am I well taken care of?”

“Define: well taken care of.”

“Do I desperately need a visit to the laundry room?” he said, pointedly holding the gray hoodie she’d often put on when experimenting with her gadgets away from his face.

“No.” Marinette rolled her eyes, watching as he threw the piece of clothing on a basket nearby. “Am I in one of Flora’s gardens?”

“Yes.” Félix now moved to her wardrobe. “Do you wear me often?”

Marinette pursed her lips, eyes going skyward for a moment, then answered, “Not really, no.”

Félix hummed, clacks and swooshes sounding out as he moved her racks.

“Was I planted recently?” Marinette asked, racking her brain for all the seeds and buds she helped Flora carry before Félix found it.

“No,” Félix said with a grin, and Marinette already knew she lost. “I’m your cat hoodie.”

Marinette flopped to her side, whimpering at her loss as Félix stepped over with a white hoodie with orange and black splotches like a calico cat held over his torso.

“Yes…” She pouted, picking her own paper off her forehead. “A dandelion? Flora doesn’t even plant them, they just appear in her gardens! How was I supposed to guess that?”

“Hey–” Félix poked at her back with his foot. “–you don’t get to say that when you wrote ‘my calico cat hoodie’ on mine!”

“And still– look who won and look who’s on the floor in misery.”

“That was despite your vile play.” Félix’s ladybug socks appeared in her field of vision, and soon, he was sitting down with a white-orange-brown hoodie fit around his torso, blond hair sticking out from the cat-eared hood.

“Hey! That’s mine!”

“After this win, I think I earned it.”

#Felinette #Marinette Cheng #Felix Sphinx #my writing #Ladybug Classic #Ladybug PV #ficlet #felinette fanfic #miraculous pv

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aroace-polyshow · 1 year

Text

pinned post time!!

(user boxes all by @/sweetpeauserboxes, except otori siblings one, that one is by me, and the tags are a screenshot of a compliment i got from a reblog game)

hola amigos i'm marlo!! i have a bunch of names though, you can also call me mono, venus, jupiter, or milo

i'm honduran/american!!

i have a few sideblogs including: @cyberpunk-deadboy - art only blog!! @marlos-fave-characterthoughts - character analysis blog thing?? where i save a lot of posts about characters i like :] @vflower-spotted - rbing vflower fanart!! @rui-kamishiro-spotted - same thing but rui!! @pjsk4koma-cutouts @daily-polyshow @marlos-shelf-of-posts @daily-rui-kamishiro co run blog!! more. that i am forgetting to add here. plus a few rp blogs and like 3 secret ones. which if you find i would prefer you did not bring up here <3

my main fandoms are: omori, project sekai, vocaloid/utau, bungo stray dogs. project sekai is currently the main one.

i also enjoy and sometimes reblog stuff for: we know the devil, dr stone, one piece, your turn to die, sanrio, night in the woods, sarazanmai, persona 5 and other stuff i know i'm forgetting

i use caps pretty often and swear a lot. heads up lol.

don't ever be afraid to tag me in stuff i'm more than happy about it!! i also LOVE ask games i reblog them whenever i see one pls pls pls send me asks i think theyre so fun i love talking to people

tags to note: mono’s stuff - self explanatory. any of my own posts, be it text a photo or whatever mono’s art - self explanatory. any of my own art. some of it is from my sideblog. won’t queue let me feel like a real devil for a moment? - queue tag. wktd quote. hollow ☆ wonderland - unit swap again but its wxs as n25 i love them so much please ask me whatever you want about them i’m so normal about them i prommy (lying) (MASTERPOST) <- THIS SHIT IS BROKEN BUT I’LL FIX IT EVENTUALLY IGNORE IT FOR NOW

also if you couldn’t tell wonderlands x showtime is my favorite project sekai group, they mean a lot to me and i post about them a lot. just a heads up i get SO annoying about them. i love them so dearly.

and uhm i think thats it? i might be forgetting something. idk though.

#pinned post #it is done 👍#mono’s stuff

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twimshi · 1 year

Text

Reigen x Platonic!Reader

a/n: YN has trouble with her co-workers and goes to a seminar recommended by a friend.

YN decides to attend the weekend slot for the seminar.

(hEY HEY !! I thought about dipping my toes in tumbler just to self-promote my fic teehee because of the end of MPO and the fear of the fandom dying T^T Anyhow my fic has about 13 chapters which is about 80k words as of now. It is far from complete but also is complete? Well, the side arc is done but I marked it as complete because it can be seen as complete !! I think its worth checking out and uhm yeah !!)

Also this is chapter 12 of the fic, I just posted this chapter here because its less plot focused and more adult shaninigans.

Reigen’s presentation was not what YN expected, it was a sparkly Hello kitty-themed.

With dramatic music.

Was this why it was free?

“Number one the thing you need to do to increase productivity in a workplace filled with lazy slugs! A presentation by me” Mob dimes the light as his Shishou starts stating the sponsors for the presentation which makes YN tilt her head with disbelief at him.

The slideshow begins with a drawing of an otaku holding a body pillow that looks straight out of Wikipedia “This young lad has a problem with gaming and seems to be addicted which prevents him from doing work. What would you do?” Reigen stares at the audience which was a total of one since YN was the only one there.

He flamboyantly points at her “Ah YN! You want to answer?”

She turns around suddenly feeling like she was in class again “Me?”

“Yes, you! Now, what would you do?”

“Tell them to uh…..stop?”

Reigen stalks her chair for a moment then turns screaming “Wrong!”

“Confiscate the electro-”

“Once again you are mistaken mesmosele. Mob next slide”

The next slide is a gif of a grim-reaper taking a selfie with someone “You gotta show your enthusiasm to work, even if you feel like death!” Reigen signaled Mob to come near him “Mob, slap me”

“Shi-shishou what?”

“Nevermind” Reigen slams himself on the wall, YN thinks there's blood on the wall now “Always SHOW YOUR ENTHUSIASM” She gets up immediately and hands him a tissue to wipe his nose with, he takes it and grins “Do you agree with that?”

“Uhm? ye-”

“WR-WR-WRONG AGAIN!” He sounds like a wrestling moderator now.

“Shishou please sit down-”

“Never take shit from anyone!" He makes an 'X' sign with his hands "No matter what, show that you're the boss. As you saw just now, Mob didn't slap me because he takes himself seriously and knows his boundaries!” Mob just nods his head blushing.

He does a mini spin and there's now a disco ball? He throws around edible confetti which he strangely kept clarifying with her, she thinks it's probably from one of his sponsors because he is now shoving a bag of skittles in her hand.

YN thinks of how absurd this is yet, she finds some weird type of comfort.

Was she ever going to use this information?

Probably not.

Was it entertaining?

It might have been one of the best things she has ever seen in a while.

Even almost beating that one time she witnessed an old man cheat on his wife in the park, that was pure cinema - but this was pretty close to topping it.

YN stares at her paperwork and the old man “YN please you've got to do something about the elevator”

She takes in a breath and smiles, something she learned at the seminar “Yes Suki, I've already informed you that it's already fixed”

“It is not just that YN! It keeps making weird noises and-and I keep hearing this gentle whisper…IT'S FREAKING ME OUT! Do something about it!”

“That might be your hearing aid, even I can hear it”

“YOU CAN HEAR THE RINGING TOO?!”

“What's all this fuss about?”

Suki then berates the boss about the weird sounds along with some of the other employees, even Mika “Even you?”

“I dunno? I just saw people crowding the boss and wanted to join” This was the only time YN relates to Mika.

“Sir, I BEG OF YOU TO CHECK THE ELEVATOR FOR GHOST, EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT”

He turns to YN raising his non-existent brow, the boss was bald “Sir, I’ve already called maintenance, and it all fixed, the noise is probably from how old it is, we would have to use our entire funds to fix-”

“Mrs.LN meet me in my office”

Everyone stills.

YN just says a small yes in acknowledgment and pushes her hair back “Y-YN I'm so sorry I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble” YN knows there was no point taking it out on an old man and just nods and bites her tongue until it bleeds and proceeds to the room.

“Sir-”

“LN, what’s the problem?”

She pulls out her files “He’s complained about the elevator even though I told him that it's just the screws making the noises, I already called the company who fixed the elevator, and like I said before, they said it can't be fixed unless we do a full-”

“Whoa whoa, why so serious?” The boss chuckles nervously.

“Huh?”

“I just called you here so they all can shut up, want a mint?” YN accepts “They said they think it's haunted right? Its been a running trend in this stupid country”

“Yes, he says he hears whispers”

“So call an exorcist, it's cheaper anyways”

“You're serious?”

“Why would I not be, I'm always serious” He spins his chair “YN as assistant manager, you need to ensure everything is up and running, do I make myself clear”

The scissors on the desk look sharp enough to cut her neck.

“Crystal”

YN hates everything, stupid job.

Stupid people.

Stupid-

Cute puppy cat……She named him Sherman…

He’s been such a brat lately, he takes up the entire bed. Whenever YN moves him to his DIY bed she made from drifted shirts, he always ended up sleeping on her face which always gave her a rash in the morning.

YN watches a Youtube video on how to make a healthy cheap meal for Sherman, Tuna, and rice were fairly cheap and tasty. Though Sherman likes wasabi for….an unknown reason…but also enjoys the helping of daffodils.

She wonders if she could sell the creature for science.

“Sherman don't jump on the table- SHERMAN DON'T SCRATCH MY BAG AND RIP MY PAPERS!” The puppy-cat was already inside her bag, YN sighs in relief when the cat-dog walks away, her paper was still in its file.

The relief is cut short when he starts barking, YN runs to shut him up, animals weren't allowed “I swear to god if you don’t shut up I will starve you…..” She sees Sherman clawing on a flyer that she picked up.

It was Reigen’s flier.

Wait.

YN forgot that Reigne ran an exorcism company, she still thinks it's fake but calls him anyways when she flips the flyer with the payment - which was cheaper than the other exorcist she tried to find around the city.

Like really cheap.

So cheap it made her skeptical for a moment.

But it did say he was certified on the back at least, shouldn't that information be on the front instead of the back....

She dials the number “Spirits and such with consultations! I’m sorry but we’re about to close but you can call tomorrow!”

“Oh sorry, I’ll give the number a call tomorrow-”

She thinks Reigen might have coughed and burped from what she can assume is shock “Y-YN?! W-wait why are you calling this number, how did you get the number”

“I mean I got a flyer….you are an exorcist or something”

“Oh yeah,” She hears some shuffling “Completely forgot, wait you said, exorcist?”

“About that, apparently my office is having some issue with the elevator being haunted or something… even if I don't believe it ….I think it would be better if you checked it out, I checked your website and it said you're certified?”

“Of course, I'm certified” Reigen proudly says “Do you want to book an appointment?”

“I thought you were closing? I don't mind calling tomorrow”

“Nah it's fine, I have my pen out anyways. So what day and time”

YN meets Reigen at a train station, which was a bonus since Reigens stop was a few steps away from her workplace.

She spots him and waves him down “I wanted to say thanks again for helping me last minute”

“No worries, it is my job anyways”

“Speaking of, why is mob here? You babysitting him?”

“Morning Mrs.LN” “I’m actually working with Shishou”

“Wait….your working for him?” YN can’t even hide her shock, it is a little shocking for a high schooler to work with a grown man for exorcism. She wonders if she should just distance herself from the whole situation but realizes it's none of her business.

They enter the crowded train and YN is still experiencing some type of shock, was Reigen exploiting this kid? I mean she knows he would never, would he? “Mrs.LN your face is making a strange face. Are you hungry? Here have my onigiri”

YN didn't realize she was making a face that resembled a squashed cartoon character until she starred at her own reflections on the glass “O-oh, thank you Mob but I don't think eating on the train is allowed, maybe later”

“Of course! My brother Ritsu made these on his own, I tried some when he wasn't looking and it really is amazing” YN had to cover her eyes from how bright the boy was glowing.

“I actually was about to decline you, but free foo- I mean the way you described the food sounds good”

Mob swats away something with a cloud of green dust “..she…not…pig” Was all YN heard before Mob see’s her staring at him strangely the snaps his finger “Sorry sometimes I just talk to myself”

“I do that sometimes so don't worry” Reigen watches the interaction as he is squashed between two sumo wrestlers.��

As they reach the building YN warns them about the unpleasant smell which they both dismiss at first saying they could handle it until they actually reached the building. YN thinks Mob is holding it pretty well, gagging a little.

Reigen on the other hand was full-on gagging, needing to lean on a nearby tree for stability.

YN hands the two a tissue that has been infused with peppermint knowing this might happen “Mrs. LN do you want my tissue? I think I can still stand the smell”

“No worries Mob, people who work here like me have gotten used to the smell” YN lightly reassures him.

“Question” Reigen asks raising a hand.

“Yes?”

“Do you still have your sense of smell after working here?”

A rude but reasonable question “I suffice, now here's the elevator”

They all enter the tiny box “Work doesn't start till nine-thirty and all the elderly people are already upstairs since they do taichi and come here early on a Thursday, so we have the whole thing to ourselves”

Mob inhales on the tissue more.

YN looks and him and feels sorry for making him tag along “Hey kid, I don't mind if you weren't here and I'm sure he won't mind”

“It's okay Mrs. LN I can handle it” she just nods at the boy and looks at Reigen “You said there was a ringing noise?”

“Yup, but its probably from the rust, since the elevator is so old”

“Hmm…I don't sense anything actually. There are no spirits”

Mob crouches and touches the floor “Actually Shishou I do feel something from the lower floor”

“-From this floor at least” Reigen saves himself, luckily YN did catch on “We should go downstairs”

“Well there are only two floors”

“No” Mob suddenly says seriously looking around “Mrs.LN, me and Shishou can handle it from here so you can step out”

“Wait am I that heavy, gosh I thought-” YN teases.

“N-no t-that's n-not w-w-w-” Mob was short-circuiting which had YN giggle in nostalgia.

He was saved by Reigen who stroked his hair gently “There there Mob, she knows what you mean. Would you explain it to her….and me” He whispered the last part.

“I can't tell how dangerous this will be since we're dealing with an older spirit. I don't want Mrs.LN to get hurt”

What on earth were the two going to do? “Hurt? I thought you were going to just exorcise a spirit”

“Oh he is definitely going to”

Mob nods his head “Yes, I sense something below. Something weak, as I said, it's an old spirit. If they feel like they're in danger they can be dangerous, it's like that time when Shishou and I went to a farm to exorcise another spirit” He explains like it's a fact.

When YN knows that it is clearly not “Listen, I think…I can be late let me text the boss that this might take some time. Seriously, guys, I know what you're doing here, the little thing that's going on. Don't have to lie to me to just ‘sell’ the act”

Reigen falters “Sell the act? You might be mistaken, there is no act being done. There is an actual spirit. Right Mob?”

“No seriously Reigen, I could not care less about how you're making money, I'm just saying you can relax, you guys are still getting paid, no need to get worked up over it”

“I am not worked up, you called us in for a job and you are disrespecting me. Mob, how far down is the spirit”

“S-Seven floors…down” He whispers suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the situation.

She senses Mobs discomfort and yields.

“My bad, I'm sorry I disrespected you like that” YN bows her head “I don't mind being late to work, I’ll watch your little exorcism, I don't mind getting roughed up”

Reigen places his hand around his neck “It's fine…You sure about it?”

“Positive, I might even be able to skip work if I get hurt so it's a win-win scenario for me”

Mob looks back at his shishou for approval which he nods at and gives him a smug face “Let's do this then”

YN decides to play along “So how are you going to do this, there are only two actual bottom floors in the building and you said six?”

Mob inspects the elevator “Yes, the remaining floors have been abandoned, which is probably where the spirit roams at”

“Okay….but how are we even going to go down the buttons don't even go that low”

Reigen has a shit-faced grin on his face when he sees the girl have a confused expression on her face “Watch and see”

“Please hold onto the railing Shishou and Mrs. YN” Reigen braces himself on the wall and looks at the confused YN expecting her to do the same “You heard the boy”

“What do you-” The girl lost her balance, the pressure of the elevator going down makes her fall to her knees, Reigen grabs one of her arms for stability which she accepts still on the floor as she clings on it for dear life.

It stops abruptly “We’re here, sorry for the bumpy ride”

How did he even? Must have been some wiring that she didn't know about.

The place smells like upstairs but ten times worse, it reminds YN of how she felt when she just joined the firm, she wraps the scarf she had in her bag around her mouth “God what is that damn smell, I'm going to pass out”

“Please don't faint Mrs.LN, I really didn't want to get you hurt”

“Don't worry your little face mobbu-Mob, sorry that slipped out”

“Reigen flips out his phone as a flashlight “He likes that name, he's even blushing right now let's move on, I think I saw a tail”

“Tail?!” YN shouts, a tail could mean an animal.

An animal living down here should be impossible.

Said animal would and will be dangerous.

“Shhh we don't want it to know that we’re here,” YN thinks back on her life and regrets not staying in the office “It's over there Shishou, it's strong but I’ll be able to handle it. You can just wait here” Mob then walks in a straight line forward, slowly disappearing as the light fades.

YN watches as Mob ventures deeper while Reigen just plays Candy Crush “Are you not going to go after him?”

“The kid says he can handle it, he can handle it, Plus he said this a relatively weak spirit and told me to just wait”

“There might be an animal there that might hurt him, do you not care?”

“Relax, we can go after him if you're so worried”

They both make their way forward, which was basically the only way.

The hallway is dark and the air is thick, she never knew that the lower floor was even a thing until today even after working here for years.

Then she feels it, she feels pushed back by a force it knocks her back slightly.

That slightly shocked her enough to yell out mobs name “Mob! Mob! Hey, you don't have to do this job, I’ll just grab some salt and throw it around and even pay you guys! Mob!” She shouts as she sees him putting out his hands like he’s casting a spell “Reigen, REIGEN! Get your ass here!” She hears the shuffling as she clings on the slimy wall not caring if it kicks her.

The air feels heavier when she sees his Mob's stance change like he’s pushing something heavy, how much did they pay for a special effects team? She thinks she’s dreaming when there's a colorful blue-ish hue surrounding an unknown object.

There's a clang and a bang. YN can't see much due to the darkness but suddenly something illuminates and she sees it.

Then she has to blink.

Mob is floating in the air.

He floats with such grace, and the light around him glows a little brighter along with some shapes. It's strange how YN is almost in a trance for it, stepping closer to see it better.

She isn't proud to say but she was quite captured by the fact that the schoolboy was floating.

She was not so captured when he had been flung into her direction which resulted in her and Reigen who was right behind YN thumping on the floor “Mob immediately gets up and checks on YN who looked pretty dazed at the fact she’s been knocked back so hard and Reigen who looked pretty pissed - not at Mob, but the spirit.

Mob walks menacing slowly to the ‘Thing’

Spreading out his arms and YN thinks she sees his hair float.

“Y-YN? Are you okay? Are you hurt-”

All she can think about is how Mob was doing She feels dizzy but tries to keep steady “Get Mob out of here! What's even happening? I think I just saw him float!” her words slur slightly from the impact, Reigen kinda help softened the blow.

YN lifts herself up, giving a hand to Reigen to help him get up “I know this is the last thing you want to hear but, Mob has this and he is a psychic”

Before she can say anything else the smell of the room lessens, it feels clean and less like dead birds.

“Mrs.Y-YN? Are you hurt?! Shishou?!” Mob walks out from the smoke seemingly unharmed other than his hair is in a mess.

YN doesn't know this boy all too much.

But she would die for him.

She runs up to him and checks for wounds which consisted of a scratch on his leg which was blue, she can only assume it was painted but there was no paint around - or maybe it was from before and she didn't notice.

The injury looks familiar.

“YN Mob, you can call me YN” She hugs him like he’s going to disappear, then let's go “S-sorry for hugging you suddenly, It's probably the adrenaline”

“It's alright Mrs- YN, I don't mind hugs. I’m alright, the spirit was a little stronger than I expected but gave up really fast when I lost control a little”

She has no idea what all of this means but just nods dragging both of the boys the ‘elevator�� that she will never use again.

“See, told you he had this under control” Under what circumstances is was this under control at all “Mob you alright? I’ll treat you for some ramen…”

YN places one hand on her hip and one on her face trying to get rid of the headache forming “I have so many things to say...But my head really does hurt so I’ll say one”

Reigen anticipates an insult or a complaint and readies a reply.

“That was so cool”

Mob blushes.

Reigen wants to grin and say something smart, but can't so he just mutters a little “I know” as Mob brings them up, this time with less force since it was going up.

“Uhm, you guys can wait outside while I go grab my checkbook…and probably go ask my boss for a day off”

The boss's eyeballs were popping from his skull, he has tried for years to get rid of the smell “Holy shit, did the exorcism company clean the elevator?” even investing in a cleaning company years ago but it never worked.

“No, but they did actually get rid of the ghost”

“Psh get rid of the ghost, anyways I can always trust you to fix things” He signs the check and hands it to YN “Actually, you don't look so good”

“The exorcism was pretty intense and I feel pretty dizzy”

For a moment YN wonders if he worries until he says “Oh, well there are headache patches in the cabinets”

“Actually, I was wondering if I could have the day off?” YN picked on her fingers nervously.

“That was sudden, may I ask the reason?” you just told me I don't look so good?

“Well I was pretty knocked up when they were doing the exorcism”

“I see….I hate to say this, and I actually mean this but I have to go for an actual meeting with the Wasabi firm all the way in the soy sauce district so I won't be here the whole day. Kelsey could do the job but I don't think she can handle everyone” YN turns pale “But I’ll add this on your sick day”

“I’ll hold you on that boss” She tries to chuckle and holds her head in her hands “Have a good day”

Outside she hears everyone praise her for finding the exorcist, she really is too dizzy to deal with this.

She hands Reigen the check “Me and mob are going to Family Mart to go grab some drinks, do you want to follow?”

“I would love to” She sees her boss get into his car “I have to work”

“What I thought you said you weren't feeling well”

“Welp, duty calls”

“Mrs. YN, here take my onigiris”

“Mob…Thank you, but I can't possibly take all of them” He places the whole Tupperware in her palm and steps back smiling “Don't worry, Shishou is going to treat me for brunch anyways so these would go to waste anyways”

"Thank you...I'll cherish every bite" She held onto the onigiri like it was a newborn baby.

Reigen tells Mob that he can go ahead and wait at the train station saying he'll catch up with him later "You know if you ever have problems like this you can always call us"

YN smiles, her head still hurts but Reigen reaches into his pocket and hands her a headache patch, she slowly accepts it - the tiredness is still there, but the warm feeling felt nice.

"I'll be sure to I guess come over for more seminars, they are quite entertaining the more I think about it"

"It is my job"

"It is indeed, I'll see you soon? For the next seminar next week"

"I'll prepare my slides, with more pizzaz this time" When was this man never anything but pizzaz.

Just like that, she's walking back to her office.

YN takes the stairs.

It doesn't reek of dead birds.

At home, she greets Sherman who wags his tail at her return.

While taking her bath, her bones were still sore from everything, something she didn't expect from a mere exorcism.

It took her breath away.

She had work tomorrow and is still trying to make sense of her idiotic co-workers.

What she witnessed today was nothing she's seen, well obviously - you don't always see a young boy fly in the air and body slam you or magically find out that your office was haunted for years.

It feels childish to admit but, she wants to see more of it again.

[i hope this convinces people to try out my fic <3]

#reigen x reader #mob psycho reigen #reigen arataka x reader #not actually an x reader #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka

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typenull · 8 months

Text

i’ve been thinking about interpersonal interaction a lot and i wanted to try to go over the conflict in this comic of del and casey and talk about it some. i made this when i needed to do a lot of work and it made me feel better :) i hope you like reading about my ocs psyches

C: Sooo. Uhm. Whenever you messaged me, was it because you thought I was like... actually sexually attractive? or-- D: [shocked] WWW- WHAT-Sort- What--? WHAT kind of question is some- some thing like that out of nowhere???

the issue with this conflict is that casey has already made up in her mind that del is sexually attracted to her or is only speaking to her Based upon that sexual attraction, and is not giving him the space or opportunity to refute this at all. this inherently makes the communication weighted to one side and leaves little room for actual conflict resolution despite that being casey’s intention. del as an outsider can only do so much. del (who is like basically autistic) is extremely taken aback by this sudden question, because the thought had not once even crossed his mind. they had not interacted with casey based on *any* part of her “persona” at all — del is interested in getting to know *casey* herself (and although she will be attracted to her both romantically and sexually later in the story, she isn’t self aware enough nor invested in life broader to view anything at this point through the lens of sex or romance).

del is extremely caught off guard, and since the proposition is so out of question for him, he wonders if casey is the one experiencing sexual attraction at the moment (the panel where she asks “…why?”). this makes casey nervous, taking this as del getting defensive, and she explains that the stakes of their relationship are higher now than when they met. del notices casey’s anxiety and thinks back to when they met, how he saw how she presented online, and realizes why the topic of sex would make her nervous about interacting with people she “met online” (they met in person, but their actual friendship was started by del messaging her).

in an attempt to help ease her worries, del sits down and begins to explain:

“i just remember, like, being more concerned that, that this was the chick who was apparently defr, defrauding me… you can’t blame me for being, being a little taken aback.”

what they meant by saying this was to remove sex from the equation altogether. del already recognized casey from seeing her come into his work, and casey’s hairstyle is definitely recognizable in their small town. del is trying to say “I wasn’t thinking about sex, I was more worried about the realization that a customer I knew was defrauding me, so I wouldn’t have even thought of that in the first place. You also can’t really blame me for being surprised that someone I barely knew had my credit card number.” she tries to play the last part off a little humorously, trying to ease the tension and help casey feel at ease.

unfortunately, because casey has already subconsciously “made up her mind” about del being interested in her, she massively projects her own fears and problems and completely misinterprets what del says here. casey interprets what he says as something along the lines of:

“no, i didn’t want to fuck you, i was just totally taken aback that i was being defrauded by a prostitute of all people! i mean, how could you blame me? lol”

what’s doubly unfortunate is that she interprets del playing off the last part humorously as not taking her nor their “accusation” seriously, like they “thought it wouldn’t hurt her”.

as you can see, casey has serious self esteem issues and a lot of internal shame about her sex work. she has grown used to people only talking to her for the sake of sex, and does not interact with other sex workers. as a result she has so much internalized shame that it often winds up externalizing in this way. she has a lot of work to do unwinding these thought patterns in her head over the course of the story, during which this takes place very early. this also has a wide overlap with internalized transmisogyny… the initial assumption that del must be sexually attracted to her does as well, even if it's subconscious. casey would react this way to anyone saying this to her in her current state, (i am not writing her to be an actual legit transmisogynist obviously) but it is much worse and very hurtful for her to be saying this to her transfem friend who has experienced systematic psychiatric abuse partially based upon her identity — which doesn’t cross her mind here. she’s hurt and lashing out at a perceived attack on her character, and while her *feelings* are real, she’s projecting a lot of deep unaddressed pain and learned aggression here. casey asking del “what kind of person did you think i was” instead of saying something like “what did you think i was, a prostitute???” is because she isn’t fully aware of these fears she’s projecting. all of her language in this comic, besides the first initial question (the hardest part is starting the conversation), is intended to be sort of vague and side steppy.

del is, rightfully, extremely taken aback by casey’s outburst here, given they were attempting to comfort her a moment ago. this type of behavior is triggering to del, and he responds by raising his voice even louder in response and calling casey a “thief”. del feels strongly about not acting “out of line” around most people, and would never usually voice something this judgmental (albeit just being the truth) to someone she met relatively recently - so this is meant to stick out. del is also overtly freaked out now, waving his hands as he talks at an attempt to get his cross, and his disorganized speech becoming far more noticeable. they put their head in their hands and groan, trying to explain what they meant (and interrupting casey) before their anxiety gets any worse.

del finds casey’s accusation towards her absolutely unbelievable, because del has extremely little sexual experience and does not, at this point, feel comfortable enough to consider herself a sexual person. in fact, del actually looks up to casey for being “brave enough” to put herself out there as openly as she does despite the possibility of being hurt, and for being able to do the things she does despite being younger than him. as they get closer, del will eventually learn that this is not necessarily a “good thing” for her the way del considers it at this point.

D: That’s absolutely not what I meant… D: Casey. C: [nervously]… Del. D: Have I even fffucking- asked you? For, for porn? C: Don’t just say- Eugghhh. Fuck, I mean… not… directly? That’s why I- D: NOT “DIRECTLY”!?

casey is disgusted at having del directly talk about her sex work, and she has to groan at the intrusive thoughts that flash through her head at this moment. instead of answering directly and just saying “no”, since casey is trying to reassure her own worries, she says “not directly”. this implication of del secretly trying to “convince” or drop hints to casey instead of just directly asking REALLY gets to del, who is a very blunt and to the point person. del has a long history of being accused of being a delusional, untruthful liar. they angrily yell her words back in disbelief. del is someone who usually pushes her anger extremely deep down as to avoid acting “out of line” or getting hurt, so she is getting uncharacteristically worked up here.

C: What? What! I don't- D: Do people not just a, ask for porn if they want to, ??? If they want it? C: [stifling laughter] Wha- Pff, I mean...? Fff... Usually? Like,sort of??? Why do you- D: Then why would I not, just- a- aaask you, Ugh, - Would I not have just ASKED you? Right, right then?

del continues into a rant which will continue on a continuous “snowball” pace until it reaches an explosive end — during which she really struggles with her disorganized thoughts and speech. in the middle of this casey laughs at del’s obvious inexperience when it comes to sexual interaction, not intending to be rude, but it’s meant to reflect back to earlier when casey took del’s laughter as inconsiderate. del doesn’t really care to point this out nor really mind at all, as he’s too busy trying to work on getting his point across to notice.

when del says “would i not have just asked you? right then?” it hits casey very hard, as she realizes that del has a point: if she was offering sex work, there was technically no “real” reason for del to try to get close to her personally if all he wanted was sex, especially given the fact they could see each other any time at del’s work. she pauses now and looks down guiltily. at this point she realizes to some degree that del really was just talking to her under the impression that she was a thief, and now she had not only stolen their money, but yelled at them, too. having this voiced out loud to her, she feels backed into a corner. she’s forced to realize she was in fact kind of acting like an asshole.

del has every right to be angry or upset with casey after this interaction, but he just stays next to her and still offers his support. this makes casey feel even more guilty, and she fidgets nervously as she apologizes for yelling. she can’t completely unpack all of the wrong things in this interaction yet, and she has a lot of growing to do.

likewise, del has to learn to be okay with speaking up about feelings she’s having and when she feels hurt. he also has to learn to understand that everyone else in the world is not “immune to pain” and is capable of being just as hurt as he is. finally, del will have to learn to be able to respond to triggering dialogue without reflecting it directly back to the person.

#ocs #del #casey #long post #(under read more)

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