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apocalypticavolition · 9 months

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 27: Shelter from the Storm

It's that time to warn people about spoilers again! My reread has spoilers for the whole damn series and if you don't want to know all the cool secrets, you should go be somewhere else. I try to make this paragraph long enough to hide everything under the "expand this post" thing, but also hopefully you'll just block spoiler posts already jeez!

This chapter once again has the leaves on a vine icon, which as I said before just reflects the Tuatha'an among other things. Perrin and Egwene are traveling with them so this all checks out. Not much to discuss.

Any suggestion that they might go further, or more quickly, was met with laughter, or perhaps, “Ah, but would you make the poor horses work so hard?”

Werthead of the Atlas of Ice and Fire wordpress did a series on Wheel, and one thing he concluded that always stuck with me is that judging by the distances and the timeline, the caravan is actually traveling pretty damn fast! Perrin must just not be good at judging the distances covered on the Caralain Grass.

But Perrin had learned that hidden beneath the surface was the wariness of a half-tame deer. Something deep lay behind the smiles directed at the Emond’s Fielders, something that wondered if they were safe, something that faded only slightly over the days. With Elyas the wariness was strong, like deep summer heat shimmering in the air, and it did not fade.

Perrin seems to be gaining his empathetic powers of Wolfbrotherhood. He does describe the ways any person might notice, but based on the speed of his thoughts so far I'm going to assume he figured that stuff out after getting the supernatural push. Like Rand, he's got a lot of denial.

“Something tells me it’s important to wait. A few more days. I don’t get feelings like this often, but when I do, I’ve learned to trust them. They’ve saved my life in the past. This time it’s different, somehow, but it’s important. That’s clear. You want to run on, then run on. Not me.”

Perrin wants to leave, but his own ta'veren-ness won't let him. It's good that Jordan was planting the seeds for this, since we'll be getting to it in a few more chapters.

“Three Girls in the Meadow,” for instance, the Tinkers named “Pretty Maids Dancing,” and they said “The Wind From the North” was called “Hard Rain Falling” in some lands and “Berin’s Retreat” in others. When he asked, not thinking, for “The Tinker Has My Pots,” they fell all over themselves laughing. They knew it, but as “Toss the Feathers.”

I absolutely love this particular bit of worldbuilding and will probably quote it every time it happens even though I have absolutely nothing to add to it.

“I have to thank you,” Elyas told him, his tone sober and solemn. “It’s different with you young fellows, but at my age it takes more than a fire to warm my bones.” Perrin scowled. There was something about Elyas’s back as he walked away that said even if nothing showed, he was laughing inside.

Perrin really hates sexuality. If he weren't trapped in a narrative where all men coming of age had to get married as quickly as possible, he'd be aggressively asexual. It makes the whole "becoming a werewolf" thing mesh all the more poorly with his character, since raw instinct and wild abandon are things that he never, ever becomes comfortable with.

Then Aram held out his hand to her, and she darted to him, already laughing again. As they ran away to where fiddles sang, Aram flashed a triumphant grin over his shoulder at Perrin as if to say, she is not yours, but she will be mine.

Honestly, as much as I despised the bizarre love triangle angle the show brought in to things, between this and the fact that Perrin's fight with Egwene never mentions her sort-of relationship with Rand, it may not be as entirely out of left field as I thought. Perrin is just extra shitty this chapter.

Sometimes he wanted to shout at them. There were Trollocs in the world, and Fades. There were those who would cut down every leaf. The Dark One was out there, and the Way of the Leaf would burn in Ba’alzamon’s eyes.

I mean, if you talked to them about it, you might either convince some of them or at least hear about the justifications their culture, which is nearly as old as the Trollocs, has come up with? Surely there's answers you could find? Especially without shouting? Come on bro.

Hopper was a scarred and grizzled fighter, impassive with the knowledge of years, with guile that more than made up for anything of which age might have robbed him. For humans he cared nothing, but Dapple wished this thing done, and Hopper would wait as she waited and run as she ran.

And he's going to spend his afterlife being Perrin's babysitter. Not gonna lie, I refuse to believe he's gone-gone as of the end of the series, just because bro deserves something better.

He crooked a finger, and the wolf howled as fire burst out of its eyes and ears and mouth, out of its skin. The stench of burning meat and hair filled the kitchen. Alsbet Luhhan lifted the lid on a pot and stirred with a wooden spoon.

Props to Ish for managing to make Perrin's absolutely normal dream seem so much more terrifying. Just absolutely terrifying.

Beyond the trees where the wagons lay, the wolves howled, one sharp cry from three throats. He shared their sensations. Fire. Pain. Fire. Hate. Hate! Kill!

It's interesting to me that Ish's dream raven seems to have accelerated Perrin's powers developing. Obviously he didn't mean to do that at all, but the stress probably helped open his mind even more. And here Ish thinks he's done this a trillion trillion times before but he's still making rookie villain mistakes.

Egwene did not notice the regretful, sidelong looks Ila gave her. She asked what was going on, and Perrin prepared himself for her to say she wanted to stay with the Tuatha’an, but when Elyas explained she only nodded thoughtfully and hurried back into the wagon to gather her things.

Perrin has absolutely no idea what's going on in Egwene's head, Wolfbrother powers or no. Of course she doesn't wanna stay forever, dummy! She's just been enjoying not spending every other night being chased by demons. If it's time to go, it's time to go so she can get to Tar Valon, the thing she actually gives a fuck about.

Why the hell is Perrin the people person ta'veren when the other two could be dead and Perrin would still be the least socially aware? Rand displays martial and political aptitude from the beginning. Mat's got martial and trickster qualities from the start too, he just gets a bit screwed up by the dagger. But while Perrin is a good fighter, he has absolutely no qualities that explain why people might follow him without reality literally rewriting their minds. I think this is why his arc is the worst of the three boys: he doesn't follow their structure so he wouldn't have had anywhere to go even if Jordan did have content for him.

“Peace be on you always,” Elyas replied, “and on all the People.” He hesitated, then added, “I will find the song, or another will find the song, but the song will be sung, this year or in a year to come. As it once was, so shall it be again, world without end.”

And here's Perrin's ta'veren again, making Elyas be more socially aware (again: Perrin is the people ta'veren even though he's the worst at this stuff) and kind. It's clearly pretty out of character since Elyas bitches about it once they're out of earshot, but it's a kindness that helps bind him more to the group, which would be nice if he ever saw them again. Sadly, I don't think he does, though I feel that if Jordan had lived to write the ending that Perrin would have folded at least some of the Tuatha'an into his group in a better way than what he pulled with Aram.

Perrin did not want to think about his dream. He had thought that the wolves made them safe. Not complete. Accept. Full heart. Full mind. You still struggle. Only complete when you accept. He forced the wolves out of his head, and blinked in surprise. He had not known he could do that. He determined not to let them back in again.

It's also very difficult to accept that Perrin is supposed to be the smart one when upon hearing, "Your dreams could be safe if you were more comfortable with this," is to go, "Fuck no get the hell out!" It's just... Damn. If it were specifically some psychic side effect of the dream raven or something, that might be one thing, but Ishamael never mentions any such thing and the reasons to avoid wolfiness just multiply. The character arc that has the most potential for Perrin is the one where Jordan makes damn sure he never tries and apparently I'm just going to be frustrated as all hell about it this whole reread. Alas.

“Ila was giving me advice on being a woman,” Egwene replied absently. He began laughing, and she gave him a hooded, dangerous look that he failed to see. “Advice! Nobody tells us how to be men. We just are.” “That,” Egwene said, “is probably why you make such a bad job of it.” Up ahead, Elyas cackled loudly.

On the plus side, while my love of Perrin POVs has diminished since middle school, I can safely say that this exchange is just as funny now as it was then. See y'all next time!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #robert jordan #perrin aybara #elyas machera #egwene al'vere #raen #ila #aram #hopper #ishamael

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saintsandsinnersarg · 2 years

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Year 2, Wet Season [1/2]

Celebration, acceptance and death! More under the cut. (TW: Child death.)

— Encouraged by the saints, and feeling a bit left out by his siblings, one of the still unnamed kits of Fierce and Mosi (the one with stone in his pelt) decides to speak with Montipora, encouraged by the rocky disposition and enthused by their similarities. Montipora seems to brighten up due to this interaction, and the kit himself is glad to have a friend outside of his rowdy littermates.

— Yewande, upset by the fact that their mate's sister seems lonely, lures Jerboa out for some bonding under the guise of taste testing mushrooms. Jerboa seems to be a lot less closed off under their influence, and proceeds to pour out her entire life story to Yewande–her and Baobab's rough early childhood, their parents abandonment, her fear that her sister would abandon her too because of her curse. Yewande awkwardly comforts her, and the next morning invites Jerboa to join the club.

Jerboa is overjoyed, but when Montipora tries to join them she panics–what if xey like the others more?--so she tells her to stay by the stream while the club meets, and Montipora does. Sitting in the same spot for several hours without moving. Opal worries about this.

–Speaking of Opal, they've become more open in their flirting with Awiti. Awiti enjoys feeling loved after her mate died, but can't shake the fear that she's betraying Chikondi. One day, while out on a walk by the dunes, she opens up about her fears of taking a new mate, especially one that wasn't the nicest to Chikondi when he was a kit. Her son assures her that although they aren't Opal's biggest fan, he wants her to be happy. Besides, Chikondi notes, they've been getting better with how they treat vulnerable cats, as evidenced by their gentle patient treatment of Montipora.

–Opal and Awiti become mates. They teach Montipora together now, with Awit fretting over Montipora like a newly hatched chick.

–The Saints have decreed more cats should have roles–Jerboa is a healer, Igha is a Cave Delver, Yewande and Baobab are gardeners, and Montipora is a Fisher. Pili acts smugly superior to these other cats with roles, since he got his first. Pili is starting to get on Jerboa's nerves. In the meanwhile, while Moonflower may not have been doing much, an official title of Elder is passed onto him, and she takes well to this.

–Igha worries. They worry about the great serpent that attacked Yewande, and worry it may be out there somewhere. His apprentice is his first priority, in everything, and she'd do anything to keep them safe. But they don't know how he could possibly do that in the face of such power–until they remember a pact made moons ago. They approach the sea one still evening, whisper into it, and the sea whispers back. If that dreaded snake returned Igha'd shred it into mouse meat–but they owe a debt now.

–The Alusi has been spotted again, on the outskirts of Truthseeker's territory, seemingly lured by the lush land. Jerboa waits patiently for it to step onto clan land so she can eviscerate it. Finally, some good she could do with her power. If she did good she would Be good, a cat worthy of the Saint's blessings. She couldn't attack without provocation, though. That would not be good. She keeps an eye out for the Alusi's pet she healed all those moons ago, but can't find her.

–Meanwhile, Jelly and Abuk tell their sad tale of the foxes to the flock. The pair say they can give the flock magical secrets if they help, and the leader agrees, hasty and eager. The rest of the flock chitters nervously, but settle down and seem agreeable as well.

— When all of the three moons are all but slivers in the endless sky, Jelly and Abuk returns. Their glowing skin illuminates three faces in the darkness; one, gray like ash, with old, wise eyes. Another, brown with small pin feathers outlining their face, and a long tuft of feathers jutting out from the back of their head. And finally, a feline who jitters with anxiety but puts on a brave face regardless, the (assumed) leader of the group. They look about the age of an apprentice, feathers still in their shells as they go through their first molt. Jelly looks proud of his accomplishment, purring alongside Abuk as they set their sights on the Clan’s camp.

— The three newcomers and Abuk wait a few paces away as Jelly bounds into camp, looking around for their friend (acquaintance? She hoped friend…), Chikondi, whomst was sunbathing with a sad, complicative face. He calls for them, eagerly telling them about her long journey to find the ‘flock.’ They continue to talk, but Chikondi interrupts them with a question; what do they mean, flock? Birds can’t fight foxes, don’t you know? But Jelly only giggles at this question, still giddy from the joy of returning to their friend(?). Chikondi is dragged out of camp, drawing the eyes of a few clanmates, to go see the three felines.

— The brown bird-cat’s hackles rise as Jelly brings over the brown tabby, trying to appear Large and Scary and Very Strong. The leader bumps into them, whispering a hushed ‘knock it off.’

They do not listen.

Jelly rushes to tell Chikondi about their new friends; Conifer, who still stares down Abuk like a herding dog to a cow, Tineh, who stays beside the white cat-bird, bent down with their muzzle beside her ear, and Kindle. Kindle looks back and forth between Tineh and the two clancats in front of them. They have their head raised high- almost like a king- yet their eyes burn and crackle with fear that they desperately hide. Chikondi almost frowns as Jelly gushes, thinking of Jerboa…

— Chikondi starts to talk with them, learning some basic information that he’s not sure that the words come from Kindle. The gray parrot beside her whispers constantly, far too faint for them to hear. They are a small band of seven, and only arrived from their ‘eternal flight’ a half moon ago. Halfway through the next answer, while Kindle takes a pause to listen to Tineh’s whispers, Opal steps out of the shadows.

— What are they doing? Opal questions, why did Abuk and Jelly not bring Opal as soon as they had arrived? What if they had been attacked by these strangers? Jelly apologizes, but counters that these cats would never lay a claw on them! Conifer growls in response. This does not help their case.

Opal sighs, and responds that they are forgiven; and not to do it again. They then invite the three flockmates into the camp, where the Council waits. Fierce is absent, Mosi in her place.

— The Council asks a series of questions. “Where is the flock from?”, asks Awiti.

“Everywhere”, Kindle responds, shaking in her paws.

“Can you fly?” Another voice speaks, and before Kindle can respond, Conifer scoffs. “Of course we can- do we look like a bunch of bustards?”

“What do you want in return?” Opal adds, ignoring the rude interjection. Tineh speaks up, old bones creaking as she steps forward. She speaks with a commanding voice, filled with wisdom and age. “Prey,” she says, “and a safe place to roost.” The council looks between themselves, and after some muttering, they agree. Opal starts to tell them of a plan…

–Abuk, Yewande, Jerboa, Baobab and Montipora are used as bait to lure the foxes out into an open clearing. As the foxes close in on them, rocks begin to rain from the sky–great stones heaved by the flying cats. It's a beautiful thing, a sort of divine judgement, and those who aren't killed on impact are dispatched while they're stunned. All except one, younger and smaller than the rest, who hid in the undergrowth. It runs away before they can chase it down, but the clans are confident they can handle one fox. The clans rejoice with a feast of fish and sand bugs, courtesy of Igha and Montipora.

— Amongst the celebration; there is a distinct point of embarrassment, or rather, a sore spot for the clan as all the clan continues to be uncomfortable around. Mosi continues to beg to Fierce to name their kits, in the few moments he can manage with her. She just stares blankly at him and shakes her head, while Mosi aches for his kits. He prays to the saints for advice while he quietly plays with his kits.

–The morning after the feast, Mosi and Fierce’s youngest kit is found mauled savagely to death, reeking of fox scent.

Mosi is shattered.

-=-

Cats

Opal - 42 moons. Golden and black gem studded cat with a torn ear. they/them. Studious, diligent, dedicated, but strict, blunt, uptight. Unsure of whether Fierce would want a funeral for her kit or not.

Awiti - 63 moons. Brown spotted molly with a light underbelly and a clouded tail. she/her. Engaging, tactical, kind, but anxious, distrusting, short-tempered. Prone to exhaustion from her work, but seems happy,

Fierce - 51 moons. Small tan tabby cat with smokey eyes. she/her. Active, neat, investigative, but nagging, conceited, fretting. Has taken to spending time alone rambling to the walls.

Cave Delver

Igha - 32 moons. Black and white bi-color cat with a water edged tail. she/he/they. Curious, cunning, relaxed, but unhelpful, lazy, deceptive. Has seemed more relaxed since the foxes death, but is still apprehensive.

Tinkerer

Pili - 53 moons. White gem-studded tom with torn ears. he/it. Energetic, talkative, open, but narcissistic, blunt, overwhelming. Is blanched by its nephew’s death.

Gardeners

Baobab - 17 moons. Black molly with white spots and mushrooms. she/her. Dignified, altruistic, empathetic, but uncanny, uncomfortable, neurotic. Has been a shocked that such a young kit would die.

Yewande - 16 moons. Off-white tortoiseshell cat with blue mushrooms and blue eyes. Pleasant, agreeable, well thought, but shy, nervous, and reluctant to share. she/they. Has been hovering over Baobab worriedly.

Fisher

Montipora - old as earth but walks around as confused as a newborn fawn. Sandy yellow and earth brown molly with mud and bits of sea debris, red seaglass where eyes would be. Honest, loyal, eager, but neurotic, uncertain, self judgemental. she/xey. Relieved for more acception, but seems frightened that her new friend perished, wondering if it’s xer fault.

Mosi - 53 moons. Tan gem-studded tom with heavy scarring. he/him. Protective, hardworking, intelligent, but dramatic, short tempered, paranoiac. Has been more appreciative of his brother lately.

Jelly - 27 moons. Light blue transparent Jellycat with white bioluminescence. any pronouns. Kind, thoughtful, curious, but blunt, naive, reckless. Enjoys fishing with Montipora

Abuk - 26 moons. Blue spotted tabby cat with dolphin tail. shark/sharks. Active, empathetic, protective, but rash, stubborn, absentminded. Is glad to be back, and glad to have gotten revenge.

Chikondi - 21 moons. Brown torbie cat with a clouded tail. he/they. Excitable, verbose, pleasing, but pesky, egotistical, sensitive. Has been bragging about himself to the Flock.

Jerboa - 17 moons. Calico molly with mushrooms. she/her. Independent, imaginative, playful, but mean, clumsy, thrill-seeking. Has had a poor time sleeping, but is glad to be reunited with her sister.

??? - 3 moons. Brown tom with black mackerel tabby stripes, a curled tail, and shadow goo. xe/xem. Brash, enthusiastic, playful, but oppositional, stubborn, lacks reflection. Seems to have forgotten xe had two brothers.

??? - 3 moons. Gray with black classic tabby stripes and shadow goo. he/hymn. Rational, patient, independent, but slow, depressive, pessimistic. Aching, but wonders if hy should care more about his brother’s death.

Elders

Moonflower - 145 moons. Calico cat with a flower crown. any pronouns. Careful, caring, intelligent, but secretive, irritive, low-energy. Has recently had persistent shoulder pain.

-=-

Issues

Mosi and his kits

What is beauty?

Seeking Alusi.

Vote on these issues here. Joining the discord allows for further delicacy with issues, which you can join here.

#update #year 2 #saints and sinners #wet season #khaosmor

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awonderlandsystem · 1 year

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Eva's Thoughts

It started with a book recommendation. A waiting period and a notification that it was available. I quite honestly didn't expect much from it, unrelatable information at the most. In the middle of my post-workout shower, I found myself in tears, cowering like a small child. Was I always this blind to his treatment? I can recall brushing it over and making excuses for it. However, I can also recall a time when I stood tall and proudly out there in the world. Not hiding at the gym at night for fear of meeting another person. I can see the pattern of falling and unraveling but why couldn't I see it then? I believe what hurts the most is why didn't my family try harder to stop me.

According to R my parents practically traded us off to him, happy to be rid of me. Our mother says that isn't true. I'm not quick to believe her though. Everything happened rather quickly and painfully during that period. We lost the only home we'd ever felt safe in, and our parents made plans somewhere with no space for anyone else. We truly had no option but to go with R. I believe that added immensely to my feelings of abandonment. I'd already gone out into the world once on my own and landed flat on my face. I wasn't ready to go off again. I know some will say no one is truly ever ready and I honestly loathe blanket statements like that. Piss off with that. I'm allowed my own struggles and grievances without being compared to the rest of society.

I only wish I hadn't been dormant for so long after that. Perhaps then there could've been more I could've done. I know it's far too late to concern myself with what could've been done, however, it doesn't stop me from kicking myself. I'm a child exposed to violence that has grown to have children exposed to the same. I'd imagine much worse because for all our mother's faults she tried quite hard to provide for us. Which is more than I can say for myself. My mother told me consistently growing up that I would be nothing but a failure, I wanted, still want, so badly to prove her wrong.

Where do I even start? I know how to be a housewife. That's all my mother prepared me for. Ikelos is an artist with no self-confidence in anything she does. Zoe is a writer unable to finish anything she starts. We've been trying to pool our heads together to find some semblance of life skills between us to do something with monetary gain. Ikelos has stated she doesn't have the ability to do retail anymore. Quite honestly I can't blame her these days and the wages involved there. Not to mention the abuse those workers tend to take. I don't believe I have the confidence built back for management again. Although I was offered my job back on the other side of the state. If I had the ability to be heartless once again I would've considered it. Taking advantage of low-income people isn't something I could stomach. I don't want to focus too hard on the negative or things I don't believe we're capable of. I looked at typing jobs, and that's a strong consideration if any of us had strong typing skills. I believe Zoe was the only one who excelled there. It's only very frustrating to see where I'd like us to be but left unable to find the steps to get there.

There's quite a list of things yet to accomplish, mostly dealing with the children. Things I'm told I must handle entirely alone as the stay-at-home mom. It doesn't matter that I've stressed the issues of our mental health to him. I'm expected to be perfect. My mother expected it of me, and now R does. Perfection is unachievable, and I'm trying hard to remember that. I suppose I should return to this book with dryer eyes and finish drying my hair.

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seijorhi · 3 years

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Fracture

i apologise in advance.

Miya Osamu x female reader

TW non-con, dub-con, psuedo-infidelity, referenced character death, angst, drunk reader, gaslighting, age gap, the slightest hint of nsfw

‘Yer still coming home for summer, right?’

How many weeks had your sister spent lovingly bullying you into coming down? How many hours had you spent listening to her gush over the phone about how excited she was?

And until about three months ago, you’d been excited too.

Despite the ten or so years between the two of you, there was nobody on earth you loved more than your sister. When you were sixteen years old and your parents passed away in a car accident, she was the one who stepped up to take care of you, putting a roof over your head, making sure you ate, slept and kept up your grades, balancing two jobs to do it.

And she grumbled and you fought, but she’s the only reason you managed to keep it all together enough to graduate high school, and when it came time for you to leave home for university, she was the one blinking back tears and loudly complaining about you ‘abandoning your poor older sister in her time of need’.

As if she hadn’t sat with you for hours, pouring over your options and gently nudging you in the direction of Tokyo.

“It’s just a few hours away,” you’d told her. “I’ll come back and visit you all the time.”

There was truth to that. The first six months of uni, you came home every other weekend arms full of expensive textbooks and mountains of assignments to write, but then she met Osamu.

You’ve never seen anybody fall so hopelessly in love as quickly as she had. Miya Osamu may as well have hung the damn moon in the sky for how your sister looked at him. And you suppose you can’t really blame her; he was stupidly tall, broad shouldered and handsome. Even back then his restaurant was a wild success, the man was talented and clearly knew how to cook. Nice was the wrong word to describe him, but Miya Osamu was good, and so long as he made your sister happy, that was enough for you.

And it wasn’t like he was the one to drive you away.

Osamu liked you – he let you camp out in his restaurant and work on your assignments when you desperately needed a change of scenery, stopping to humour you with conversation if it was quiet. He made you laugh, he was interesting, and the more your sister brought him around, the more you realised that you actually kinda liked the guy.

Things were just easy between the two of you, you never had to pretend to be anything but what you were.

You were the one who started putting space between you and her. It wasn’t intentional, at least not on their part, but somewhere along the way you’d started to realise that Osamu wasn’t the odd one out anymore; you were. She was building a life with him, and fortnightly visits turned into monthly ones, and then eventually it became once every few months and after that only on holidays and special occasions – their wedding being one of them.

At Christmas, cheeks flushed with alcohol, she’d pulled you into a one armed hug, pouting into your sweater. “You never come visit us anymore,” she’d sniffled dramatically, “I miss you.”

But it was Osamu – fingers laced with your sister’s, a hint of a smile curling at his lips – who’d voiced it. “Come spend yer summer break with us.”

Three months later you’d awoken to a call telling you that there’d been an accident. Your sister was dead.

Weeks pass by in a blur. Your classes are a haze of droning voices and mindless typing, you submit papers you don’t remember writing and you get good marks anyway. Your friends don’t know how to act around you, everything feels surreal, like you’re moving around in a dream, nothing touches you anymore. It hurts, but you’ve wrapped up that pain and put it someplace safe, seeking it out only when you’re alone and you just can’t bear the numbness a second longer.

The trip you’d promised to take back home to Osaka is the furthest thing from your mind, at least until Osamu calls you in the early hours of the morning, a week or so before the semester ends.

“Yer still coming home for summer, right?”

The word ‘no’ lingers on the tip of your tongue. The last time you’d seen each other was at the funeral, his face blank and hollow, eyes rimmed in red. He’d barely spoken more than a few sentences to you, but he’d stayed by your side the entire time, calmly thanking those who came up to express their condolences.

You’d lost your sister, but he’d lost his wife.

“Do you still want me to?” you ask him quietly instead. If you were in his shoes, you’re not so sure that you would.

Yet Osamu sighs heavily, and you catch a faint clinking sound on the other end of the line, like a bottle being set back against the marble countertop. “I just–” but he breaks off and something inside of your chest tugs. “I want ya here. The house is empty… she’s gone and I… I want ya here. Please.”

How could you possibly say no after that? Maybe you’ve been selfish, so wrapped up in your own grief and misery. You’d assumed that because Osamu had Atsumu he’d be okay. Not right away, of course, but he’d have that support around him – a support system that you were without.

It didn’t enter your mind that perhaps he was struggling too. That he was spending night after night alone in a house etched with memories of her. And just as you’d thought that Tsumu was the one keeping his head above water, maybe he was offering a hand to do the same for you.

—

He’s waiting for you on the porch when your taxi pulls up on the kerb. The driver’s nice enough to help you with your bags, but Osamu is quick to intercept, waving off the help with an impatient huff that almost makes you laugh.

“Yer here,” he says once he sets them down on the porch, grinning as he tugs you into a warm embrace.

It’s then that you get a good look at him, a proper look – and for a moment, you’re taken aback. You haven’t seen him since the funeral a few months back, granted, but Osamu doesn’t look the way you imagined him to – especially after your call the other night. There’s no hint of pallid skin, no bloodshot eyes with heavy bags underneath or a 5 o’clock shadow on his face. No, even with his dark hair still a mess, dressed in jeans and his Onigiri Miya tee, Osamu looks good. Healthy even, if the way the sleeves of his shirt cling to his biceps is any indication.

It takes you a second to realise that you’re staring, because Samu chuckles, brushing past you to bring your stuff inside.

“Y’know, most people start with a hello,” he calls over his shoulder.

Your cheeks heat, a hint of shame curling inside of you. Were you expecting him to be an inconsolable wreck? You know better than most that grief messes with people differently, and it’s not fair of you to judge him, however unintentionally, for not fitting that image of the grieving husband.

It’s a good sign.

“Hi, Samu,” you reply somewhat sheepishly, following him inside.

He’s already walking towards your old bedroom, the ‘guest room’ now (though you and he both know it’s always been yours), leaving you to trail behind the older man. Your intention is to stop him from going to too much effort, but as you walk past the living room, something catches your eye.

Or rather, the absence of something. Faltering in your step, it takes you a second to realise what’s missing, but as you glance around, brows furrowing in confusion, it hits you.

The pictures of you and your sister, the cute ones with her and Samu, the old family snaps that used to line the walls and sit on the TV unit, they’re gone. And it’s not just the pictures. The artwork your sister had painted that used to hang by the wall next to the kitchen, the little pot plants she’d doted on like children, hell, the throw that she’d knitted one winter that was always lying on the couch; they’re all gone.

The room feels almost alien without them, unfamiliar and cold. He’d hung up some cool photography stuff to fill in some of the spaces, but instead of homey it just felt… modern. Like the pictures you see in magazines of staged houses that nobody actually lives in.

And you must have been standing there for a while, because you don’t notice it when Samu comes back to find you still holding your purse, gazing around like a lost child.

“I didn’t get rid of ‘em, if that’s what yer thinking.”

You turn to face him, except Osamu isn’t looking at you. He’s gazing at the walls around you both, his face strangely impassive – except for his eyes. It’s impossible for you to miss the hurt that swims there, the faint sheen they didn’t hold only moments ago. “I packed them away – they’re in yer room if ya want to look through any of it, it’s just…” he trails off, finally glancing back to look at you. And once again, you feel that flicker of guilt slowly eating away at you. “It was painful, seeing her face everywhere.”

Before you left your apartment that morning, you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t cry today – but the tears come unbidden, and one moment you’re standing there staring at him and the next you’re choking on a sob, hand coming to your lips to try and stifle it.

Osamu’s there in a second, solid arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. He doesn’t say a word (what’s there to say anymore?) he just hums softly, stroking your back with a gentle hand as you fall apart once more.

—

It’s surprisingly easy for the two of you to fall into a rhythm. There’d been some part of you that was hesitant about this whole thing – despite having a relatively good relationship with your brother in law, you knew that the only real connection between the two of you was your sister.

Without her, living in the same space and trying to navigate around the holes that she’d left, you’d expected it to be at least a little awkward between the two of you. But with Osamu working full time, it was kind of a non-issue. Aside from the first day when he’d taken the morning off to help you get settled, he was usually gone before you woke up, and most nights he wasn’t home until nine or ten. How he worked such long hours six days a week without collapsing out of sheer exhaustion was beyond you, but you tried to make things easier for him, cooking dinner for the two of you.

“Y’know ya don’t have to do this every night, right?” he asks you one night, sticking the leftover chicken into the microwave. “I have a restaurant, I can sort out my own dinner.”

You don’t tell him that despite being a rather terrible cook, it was one of the things your sister made sure to do every night in the weeks following your parents’ death. You’d spend most of your day holed up in your room if you weren’t at school, but dinner was the one time you’d sit and talk with her. It became a ritual; something sacred and special between the two of you.

You’re a better cook than she was by far, no comparison for Osamu, of course, but it’s the only way you really know how to help with… whatever this is.

Instead, you just offer him a wry look from your position on the couch, “And yet, you never do.”

He scoffs at that, a hint of a smirk curling at his lips, “Why would I eat there when I know yer cookin’ for me?”

—

Of course, as easy as it is to slip into living with Osamu, you can’t escape what happened there forever.

It doesn’t slip your notice the first night you spend there; the spare toothbrush in your bathroom, the decidedly masculine body wash in the shower, or how one of the shelves in the vanity was stocked with shaving cream and cologne and a few odd skin care products. You’d assumed that they were Atsumu’s, spares stashed away for the odd nights he crashed here. There’s another bathroom off the master bedroom, so you know it can’t be Samu’s stuff.

Except you find yourself proven wrong one night, when fresh from your shower and clad only in a fluffy white towel, you open the door to find a shirtless Osamu filling the space, one arm propped up on the doorframe.

“Anyone ever tell ya yer a bit of a bathroom hog?” he asks, smirking down at you.

And you’re so taken aback, utterly confused as to why he’s standing there half dressed, why it matters how long you take in the bathroom – never mind that the only thing covering you from complete nakedness is your towel – that you can only stand there, gaping like a fish as he laughs, takes you by the shoulders and physically shifts you out of the way as he slides on past.

It takes you until the following morning – Osamu’s sole day off – to ask him about it, clutching nervously at your cup of coffee while he busies himself making breakfast for the two of you.

“Samu, um, about last night…” you timidly begin.

He glances up at you from the stove, a single eyebrow raised. “What about it?”

Your cheeks are already burning, eyes darting between his face and the mug in your hands as you struggle to find the right words to bring it up without making things weird. “Well, I-I was just wondering… um, why you were using my bathroom?”

You’re not sure what kind of reaction that you’re expecting, but the dark look that flashes across his face isn’t it. For a split second, your insides clench, terrified that you’ve said the wrong thing–

But as quickly as it appeared, Osamu’s expression smooths over. He exhales heavily, setting down the spoon in his hand as he turns to face you properly, and when your eyes flicker up once more, you realise with a start that it’s pity that’s taken its place.

And a second too late, the pieces inside your head fall into place.

“Oh.”

Osamu nods only once. “I can’t go in without seeing her lyin’ there… I thought ya knew.”

And it’s like all the air’s been sucked out of the room. She’d died in their bathroom – slipped on the wet tiles and cracked her head open on the edge of their bath, and Samu had been the one to find her.

Weakly your eyes flutter shut, bitter nausea churning in your gut. How could he stay here, sleep in the next room when–

“Hey, hey, calm down, I gotcha,” Samu’s voice is at your ear, and your head’s spinning, pounding, and you can’t breathe. The mug in your hand tumbles to the floor, your coffee spilling across the wooden floorboards as weak fingers clutch at empty air, and then those arms are around you once more and Osamu’s trying to soothe you.

Breakfast is forgotten as he tugs you towards the couch to sit. And as he holds you, speaks to you in that calm, unwavering voice you try to focus on the scent of him (masculine and earthy, a hint of spice and cedar), the fabric of his shirt under your cheek and the gentle, almost lazy circles he rubs into your side and not the mental image of your sister, lying broken and bleeding on the bathroom floor.

—

It doesn’t take much effort to find the stash of your sister’s things that Samu set aside in your room. You lose hours flicking through pictures of her, smiling through your tears as they dredge up old, happy memories of the two of you.

Even the ones of her and Samu, his arms looped around her waist, resting his chin on the top of her head; she’s always wearing that bright grin that makes your heart ache.

There are a few of the three of you – one from the last time they’d come to visit you in Tokyo and you’d dragged them off to Disneyland. You’re standing between the two of them, beaming at the camera while Samu’s arm hangs off your shoulder and your sister, grinning widely and wearing the minnie mouse ears she’d bought at the first opportunity, tosses up a peace sign.

Softly wiping away your tears, you set it aside. You’ll have to ask Samu if you can take that one home with you.

—

“What’re ya doin’ tomorrow?”

It’s late, and the two of you are sprawled out on the couch, watching TV with a bowl of snacks between you like the old days when he asks.

“Not much,” you reply. “I was going to go to the markets at some point in the morning and maybe head to the beach after that, why?”

Grey-ish brown eyes flicker across to you, “A few of my old teammates are in town, we’re meetin’ up for some drinks. I want ya to come with me.”

“Oh,” the word slips out before you can stop yourself. “Um, yeah… if you want?”

It ends up sounding more like a question, a fact that doesn’t slip past Osamu if the amused little snort he gives in response is any indication. And it’s not that you don’t want to give up your plans in favour of going with him; you get along pretty well with Atsumu and you’ve met most of his old teammates at least once or twice, it’s just that you’re a little confused as to why he’d want you there to begin with.

They’re all at least twelve years older than you, and while it occurs to you that maybe he’s just inviting you along to be polite (not that that’s ever been his style before) the last thing you want is to be stuck feeling like an afterthought, all but ignored as he and his friends catch up.

“I said I wanted ya there, didn’t I?” He doesn’t wait for a response, “‘sides, Tsumu already asked if you were comin’.”

Which is how you find yourself dressed up for the first time in months, fingers smoothing out the hem of your dress as Samu tosses you a lazy grin from the driver’s seat. “Relax, wouldja? They ain’t gonna bite.”

You know that. They’re good guys, but no matter how much rationalising you try to do, you can’t seem to quell the anxiety eating you up, and the frustrating thing is that you don’t know why you’re feeling it.

He’d neglected to tell you that they weren’t meeting at some bar or restaurant, but at Atsumu’s condo in the city (‘Showy fuckin’ bastard’ Samu’d huffed as he’d pulled up in front of the building), but you suppose it really doesn’t make much of a difference.

“Ya look good,” he compliments, eyeing you for a moment while the two of you wait for the elevator.

Cheeks warming, you drop your gaze and stutter out a quiet thank you. Apparently unsatisfied, he leans closer, reaching one large hand up to gently ruffle your hair – grinning in satisfaction when you shriek and try to pry it away. “Relax,” he whispers again, the warmth of his breath tickling the bare skin of your neck. “Yer too wound up.”

Distracted by the arrival of the elevator, you fail to notice that instead of returning back to his side, his hand drops to your shoulder.

And it should be easier to do just that once you have a drink in hand. Atsumu greets you with a one armed hug, the only hint of anything out of the ordinary being the way his gaze lingers a beat too long as he studies your face, his eyes sharp and missing nothing. But whatever he sees (or doesn’t see) his expression softens into a smile, “Glad ya came.”

But even as you’re greeted by the others, falling into an easy conversation with Kita and Aran you can’t seem to shift the uneasiness in your stomach. There’s something in the air, a tension nobody really wants to admit to.

And you can’t quite tell if the others are surprised that Samu brought you at all, or if it’s just because you’re a living reminder of a tragedy that’s still fresh and raw, and everyone’s trying to pretend that it’s not. You don’t blame them for it, of course, they only mean the best. But you can see it in the way Suna side eyes you every now and then, how skilfully Akagi skirts anything that could touch a nerve when he comes up to chat.

It’s like they’re all walking on eggshells – though whether it’s for your benefit or Osamu’s, you’re not entirely sure. For his part, Samu sticks close, keeping your drink topped up, an arm slung over your shoulders as the afternoon wears into the evening.

Yet despite that, the alcohol you’re drinking far too quickly starts to work its magic, filling your body with a warm, pleasant little buzz, and you actually start to enjoy yourself. You laugh easier, giggling when the twins start to bicker, gasping in wicked delight when Suna offers to show you certain embarrassing photos of both of them on his phone (he has quite the collection), even letting Gin and Tsumu drag you into taking shots with them.

And all the while, Samu watches you, a soft smirk playing at his lips.

—

By the time he unlocks the front door and you stumble back inside, you’re absolutely plastered, giggling at nothing and tripping over your own feet.

As always, Samu’s there to catch you, strong, muscular arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush against him. “Careful there, princess,” he laughs.

You grin up at him, carefree and heartbreakingly beautiful. For the first time in months you feel light, you feel amazing and you don’t want this to end. Kicking your heels off, you skip inside, leading him by the hand. “Samu,” you call back over your shoulder. “I wanna dance.”

“Nobody’s stopping ya.”

“But there’s no music,” you pout, and once again he chuckles, letting you go to settle back into the leather couch as he pulls out his phone. A moment later a familiar, lively melody floods the living room, and you let yourself become lost to it. It doesn’t matter that you’re drunk and dancing alone, Samu’s dark eyes following your every move, you’ve never felt so free.

Arms raised in the air, hips swaying hypnotically to the beat, you lose track of time. It could’ve been minutes or seconds or a whole hour, but suddenly you’re not alone anymore – Samu’s there with you. His cologne invades your senses, why does he always smell so good? His body’s warm, almost hot as he slots himself behind you, caging you against him.

“Fuck, baby,” he growls, his voice sending shivers running down your spine. “Yer a little tease, ya know that?”

And there’s something wrong with that, you know there is, but you can’t seem to think of what it is – not when the weight of his hold’s impeding your movement. A pout adorns your face, a soft, almost petulant whine escaping your lips as you try in vain to untangle yourself, “Samu, lemme go. I wanna dance.”

He huffs out a laugh, but that doesn’t sound right either. “Don’t wanna dance with you, pretty girl.”

There’s something hard pressing against your lower back, and his hot breath ghosts over your neck a moment before lips descend to suck on the sensitive flesh.

In a split second, all that blissful, warm, drunken happiness evaporates. Samu groans lowly, his chest rumbling at your back, but there’s a pit of something cold and urgent that’s seeping through your veins, distant, foggy alarm bells tolling inside of your head and you don’t understand what’s happening, but you know that you don’t like it.

You want it to stop.

“S-Samu,” you whine, shifting uncomfortably against his hold.

This time he listens, drawing back just enough that he can turn you around to face him. And those familiar eyes are hooded and dark, burning with an intensity that makes you want to recoil even as he stares down at you, taking your cheek in hand.

You don’t even realise that you’re crying until his thumb’s brushing away your tears. There’s nothing comforting or pleasant (nothing of the Samu you know) on his face as he studies your fearful expression, but eventually he lets out a heavy sigh.

“She was positive I was cheatin’ on her,” he admits. “Did she ever tell ya that?” He pauses for a beat waiting for a reply, but when it’s clear that you don’t have one for him, he just scoffs, “No, ‘course not. That’d be admitting that not everything about our life was picture perfect, and heaven fuckin’ forbid we do that. Y’know, that's why she wanted ya back here so bad. She needed a buffer.”

Bitterness clings to every word like poison and you flinch, renewing your struggles to get away. Not that he lets you – the moment you start to squirm the arm around your waist tugs you closer, anchoring you against him. The tears come faster, followed by soft, hiccuping sobs, but Samu seems beyond caring at that point.

“Stupid bitch never could see what was right in front of her face. That’s what we were fightin’ about that night; she said she was gonna leave me.”

Your heart clenches, fear pooling in your gut, but Samu just smiles at you, a mockery of sweet tenderness, reaching back to tuck a stray lock of your hair behind your ear. “But you know I’d never hurt my pretty girl, don’t ya, baby?” he asks. “Just want a taste tonight.”

You don’t even have time to suck in a breath before he’s kissing you, cradling the back of your head as his mouth moves hungrily against yours.

And all you can taste is the whiskey on his tongue.

—

You can’t tear your eyes away from your reflection in the mirror, the faint, reddish blemish colouring your neck.

A hickey.

Tentatively, as if trying to prove that it’s real and not a figment of your imagination, you prod at the mark, only to wince at the tenderness. Definitely real.

You’d woken up to an empty house – unsurprising considering it was well past ten and you knew Osamu had work today – with your head pounding and your mouth uncomfortably dry. Wracking your brain, you can’t seem to conjure up a rational explanation for the bruise. Granted, you can’t really remember much of last night, only fragments of being at Atsumu’s place, and certainly nothing after you’d started taking those shots.

Which doesn’t make the uneasiness sitting heavy in your stomach any easier to take, because you know that you hadn’t been cosying up to anybody before you’d lost track of the night, and if it had happened after, then surely Samu or one of the others would have stepped in and put a stop to it.

And that should’ve been more of a comforting thought than it was, because if it didn’t happen at Atsumu’s then that meant it happened afterwards, when you were here with Samu.

Your heart thumps unevenly against your ribs.

Osamu. Your dead sister’s husband, your brother in law.

A hickey on your neck isn’t just a kiss. It’s not a simple, drunken peck against your lips, it meant that somebody had sucked on the skin, bitten at it, kissed until blood vessels broke – it’s not the kind of thing that happens accidentally.

A wave of nausea threatens to overtake you, and you barely manage to make it to the bathroom before you’re violently emptying the contents of your stomach into the porcelain bowl. And you know as you collapse onto the cool tiled floor, shaking just a little, that this time at least, the alcohol isn’t to blame.

You know Samu; you trust him implicitly. Whatever happened, it must have been a mistake or something. You’d both been drinking, and he’s still grieving and–

There’s no point jumping to conclusions or working yourself up any more than you already have. You’ll just bring it up with him when he gets home, you decide.

Yet anxiety and guilt gnaw at you as the hours crawl by, you’re half tempted to pick up your phone and just call him to ask point blank. The clock feels like it’s mocking you every time you glance up, and while you try your best to distract yourself with household chores and then busying yourself with dinner, none of it works for long.

By the time he does stride through the door, a little before ten, you’re an anxious wreck, all but wringing your fingers as you sit rigid and tense at the table. Most nights you eat before he gets home, hunger getting the better of you, but tonight you don’t seem to have much of an appetite.

“Smells good,” he comments with an easy grin, toeing off his shoes and dropping his wallet and keys by the door.

You open your mouth, but the words seem to get stuck in your throat as he drops a kiss down on the top of your head and walks on past to grab a bowl from the kitchen.

“I’m starving.”

Instead, you just swallow nervously as he pulls out the seat next to you and sits, not wasting another second before digging in. Your eyes quickly dart over to study him, but you don’t see any hint of guilt or unease on his face. He just looks like the same old Samu, a little tired maybe, but otherwise totally normal, and so you force yourself to pick up your spoon and follow suit.

And he’s never been one to fill silences with meaningless chatter, but tonight the quiet between the two of you feels oppressive, every clink of metal against ceramic echoing too loudly, every chew, every swallow setting you on edge. You can’t even taste the food, your stomach too twisted in knots for you to feel anything but nauseous after a few bites.

“… Is everything okay?” he asks after a few minutes, and it’s so sudden amongst the tense silence that you visibly jerk, almost dropping the spoon you’d been toying with.

You glance up to find him staring, brows furrowed in concern, and once again your stomach flips. It’s now or never.

“Um… did anything happen last night?” you ask, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Osamu’s frown deepens fractionally, and he tilts his head as your fingers twist in your lap, “What d’ya mean?”

Did we kiss? The words dangle on the tip of your tongue, but as you nervously meet his eyes, you find nothing but confusion and concern there. And for a moment, you almost speak them, but then Samu’s reaching across the table to take your hand in his, and as his warm palm swallows up yours, you lose your nerve.

“You sure yer okay?”

Whatever happened, he doesn’t remember it and neither do you.

Smiling tightly, you nod. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Nevermind.”

There’s no reason for you to drag him through the mud for this, you’re already feeling enough guilt and shame for the both of you.

—

You try to put it out of your mind, but it’s not that easy.

Lying awake in bed at night, your brain unwittingly turns over possibilities of what else could’ve caused the mark if not Osamu. Guilt gnaws at you every second that you’re around him and all the while he’s painfully oblivious to it all.

He’s always been affectionate with you, but all those stray, unthinking touches now carry a different weight with them. You find yourself ducking away from them more often than not, pretending that you don’t see the almost wounded look in those greyish-brown eyes when you do. You start to avoid him, finding other places to be whenever he’s home.

And you hate yourself for it, because Osamu’s been nothing but faithful to your sister for as long as you’ve known him. You’re the one acting like there’s something wrong between the two of you, like he’s treating you any differently than he always has when you know that’s not the case.

You know that, but when you catch sight of the fading bruise in the mirror, your stomach twists into knots all the same.

There are excuses and justifications aplenty, but none of them make you feel any better. You still find yourself sniffling into your pillow, swallowed up by your guilt when you imagine how devastated your sister would be if she knew.

You’d let her husband kiss you. Being drunk and miserable and grieving didn’t change that. Whether he knew it was you or mistook you for her; it doesn’t matter. Maybe it was a mistake, letting him talk you into coming.

Things were still too raw, too fresh. You’d thought that coming here would help, but so far it’s only made everything worse, and unintentionally or not, you can’t kid yourself that your presence is doing anything to help Osamu anymore.

You need to go back to Tokyo.

Somewhat selfishly, you’re tempted to put it off until the weekend, because you know that Onigiri Miya has a stall for the beginning of the summer festival and he’ll be too preoccupied with that to think about anything else – but you just can’t bring yourself to do that to him.

No, it’s better to rip it off like a bandaid; nice and quick.

You’d planned on breaking the news over dinner, but as you pick your way through your noodles, you notice that Samu’s quieter than he usually is. Every time you risk a glance up he’s staring at the table, looking entirely lost in thought, and it just doesn’t feel like the right time to bring it up.

Tomorrow, you decide, you’ll cook his favourite for dinner and tell him then.

—

The knocking startles you from your sleep with a jolt. It’s quiet, hesitant almost, but you’ve always been a light sleeper.

“Samu?” you croak out, fumbling blindly for the phone at your bedside to see what time it is.

The door opens, a crack of light from the hallway spilling into your room as Osamu looks in. “Sorry,” he murmurs, “I know it’s late, but I need to talk to ya ‘bout somethin’.”

He’s shirtless, clad only in a pair of cotton pyjama pants, but he doesn’t look to be in any immediate kind of trouble. Still, he wouldn’t have disturbed you in the middle of the night if it wasn’t something important, so you blearily wipe the sleep from your eyes and force yourself to sit up as he slips into your room and shuts the door behind him.

“What’s wrong?”

He hasn’t bothered to turn on the light, and even with the moonlight streaming in through your window, his face is cast in shadow as he takes a seat on the edge of your bed. And it’s silly, especially considering he’s the one who’s shirtless right now but it’s hard not to flush at the realisation that you’re only wearing a thin, satiny slip. You feel almost naked – he’s seen you in bikinis before, but it feels different here, when he’s the one in your bedroom.

“You asked me the other day about what happened the night we went to Tsumu’s,” he begins, his voice quiet and soft in the early hours of the morning, and suddenly your state of dress is the last thing on your mind.

Swallowing tightly, your pulse quickens and you still, waiting for him to continue.

And you feel, rather than see, the way he stares at you, inching a fraction closer when you don’t immediately answer. “And I lied. Or I didn’t exactly tell ya the full truth.”

“Which is?” you force out.

Samu’s shoulders rise and fall as he takes a deep, slow breath in and exhales heavily. “You were drunk and ya came onto me, tried to kiss me.” You flinch, a choked sound escaping your throat at the blunt admission, but he’s quick to reach for you, his hand coming to rest on your knee, squeezing it reassuringly. “And in the heat of the moment, I let ya.”

Hot tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but the moment you try to turn away from him, biting your lip and trying to blink back the tears, he stops you.

“Osamu–”

“‘Cause I’ve spent years waiting to kiss those lips, an’ I’m tired of pretending we both don’t want this.”

And he’s kissing you; soft and sweet and gentle, his lips molding to yours as he cups the back of your neck. You wonder if he can feel your pulse racing under his fingertips as he draws himself closer, groaning into your mouth.

It doesn’t matter that your hands are on his bare chest, pushing at him, hitting him – those muscles aren’t just for show; he’s immovable. The more you squirm, trying to extricate yourself so that you can plead with him to stop–

This is a mistake. A horrible, awful misunderstanding. He’s upset and grieving and not thinking clearly and you have to stop this.

He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

– the more his grip tightens until it starts to hurt and you’re whimpering into the kiss. Your tears are wetting his cheeks, but he doesn’t care, won’t stop and there’s a panic that rises within you every second that you’re entangled with him.

“Don’t do this,” he mutters, breaking the kiss as a sob rips its way free from your throat, “Don’t pretend ya don’t want this, baby. I know ya do. Stop being a little fuckin’ tease.”

He leans back in, intent on capturing your lips again, and in an act of desperation you reach for his face, cradling his cheek in your hand. “Samu, please,” you beg, wide, imploring eyes searching his face for any hint of a reprieve. “You’re scaring me. Stop, please, j-just for a second.”

Just a second, that’s all you need to try and snap him out of whatever the hell this is. One second.

Osamu stills, his face mere inches from your own, his body hovering atop yours. His breath, ragged and uneven, ghosts over your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake, but you don’t dare move as he leans into the touch, grey eyes fluttering shut.

He sighs, the sound almost like a shiver. “Ya don’t need to be scared, ‘m gonna take good care of my girl.”

He doesn’t give you the chance to say anything else, not as he forces himself onto you once more. You used to marvel a little at Osamu. Tall, handsome and strong, even in his mid thirties; Samu was fit. Now, straddling your waist, pinning your wrists to the wall with one hand, the other palming at your tits, he dwarfs you entirely. He isn’t impatient, not as he kisses you languidly, not as he slides the soft, satin up your thigh, revealing your underwear.

Your hiccuping sniffles aren’t enough to move him, you’re not strong enough to physically fight him off. He doesn’t pay the tearful, breathless pleas sobbed out between kisses any mind.

Osamu grabs you by the waist and flips you onto your front, lips brushing at the nape of your neck as he smooths your hair back, and you’re utterly helpless to stop him.

And as his hand runs down your side and he coaxes your hips up into the air, you almost wish that he was rough. Because this pretense of gentleness, glinting steel masquerading as silk – it’s too intimate, and you feel complicit.

Like you’re willing.

Like you want this with him.

An act of love as he tugs your panties down to your knees and hums in quiet satisfaction at the sight of your bare cunt, glistening just for him.

There’s a voice in your head telling you you should be screaming and kicking and snarling like a wild, feral thing, but Osamu’s grabbing at your ass, spreading it to get a better look, his thumb gliding along your slit and all you can think about is the picture he’d packed away, the one of the three of you at Disneyland.

Samu’s arm slung over your shoulder, and your sister’s bright smile.

He spits; a warm, fat glob of saliva hitting your pussy, and as it slowly dribbles down the only sound that leaves your lips is a soft, broken whine. You don’t fight him when he takes his cock in hand and guides the flushed head, pre-cum already oozing at the tip, along your cunt, you just lie there, a toy for him to move and manipulate however he wants.

“You’ll forgive me for this, I know ya will,” he murmurs, softly squeezing your hip just once as something thick and blunt presses at your entrance.

But it doesn’t matter, not as his cock sheaths itself inside of you with one hard, brutal thrust, because you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to forgive yourself.

#yandere haikyuu #yandere osamu miya #yandere osamu x reader #yandere osamu #yandere osamu miya x reader #tw: noncon #tw: dubcon #tw: infidelity #angst #drunk reader #manipulation and gaslighting ahead y'all #dilf osamu

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

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The Game ~ LF [M] [Request]

WORD COUNT: 8.3K

PAIRING: Felix x FemReader

GENRE: Angst, AU, post-apocalyptic world, a giant game of truth or dare, kill or be killed world, a little fluff, Smut, slow burn, ANGST

WARNING: Themes of death, blood, jumping from high heights, guns, knives, murder, hurting yourself, falling from heights

There were only two things in the world that you feared, and that was whatever was controlling the pagers and the dares that came through them. Everything you knew and loved was gone, leaving behind a scary post-apocalyptic world but the scariest part was no one knew how it came to be. One night everything had been as it was and the next...Nothing but vast nothingness, crumbled buildings and small pagers that helped you survive.

"I think I saw someone go this way," You gasps pressing your back against the wall and holding your breath. Voices were never a good sign when you were in an abandoned building looking for supplies. It could have been where someone had set up their life and you were stealing or they could have been dared to find you.

In this world it was, kill or be killed. Thanks to the machines that were permanently attached to your hips. No one knew what was controlling them and they said what because there was no way whatever it was was human. The dares ranged from something easy to something almost impossible but the incentives were always the selling point. It could be as something simple as a night in a real bed or real food to wake up to in the morning. You weren't sure how it all got to the people that won the dares or if it was safe but it was the first real food anyone had had in a long time.

Though all of that was rumoured nothing was ever shown to be true to you, all you ever got were small dares in order to find a blanket to keep you warm or some extra clothes.

Edging yourself towards the window of the crumbling museum you debated jumping from the height you were at, it was nothing too large. Just two floors you would be fine but there was a group of guys right beside the entrance, if they saw or heard you there would be no doubt you would be caught.

"I don't see anyone Soobin." A voice cried out as you kept your back pressed against the outer wall of the building, praying that you wouldn't slip or-

BeepBeepBeepBeep

The loud and irritating pager began to ring on your hip and someone's head snapped out of the window you had crawled from.

"GOTTCHA!" Screaming at the sudden voice you slipped on the cracked lege slipping down onto the ground and grunting when you felt something stab you in the side. Holding your hand on your right side you saw a small patch of red begin to leak through your shirt,

"Just got this," You mumbled getting yourself up from the floor, ignoring the group of boys that were starting to rush towards you calling out for you to stop. There was nothing on this planet, not even a dare, that would make you stop and speak to them.

"Leave me alone!" You coughed out as they continued to follow you down the abandoned street you had set yourself up in. A small abandoned store which no one else seemed to be interested in. You'd found it a few weeks ago and set up shop there, a makeshift bed made out of old books you'd found. It wasn't exactly the comfiest thing in the world but it was somewhere to lay your head, somewhere safe.

"We just wanna talk." The one who had caused you to slip cried out but you continued to walk, keeping your hand on the wound you'd gotten so you wouldn't bleed out too much. There was a small first aid kit stashed in one of the drawers of the store you stayed in, it didn't have many supplies left since the last dare you got was to get a pillow for a night.

"Just leave me alone." You hissed through gritted teeth wanting nothing more than forever it was to leave you alone but a hand grabbed onto your wrist. Before you even had a chance to turn around and smack the culprit they were already on the floor with a bloody nose.

"She said to leave her alone," A deep voice ordered, towering over the boy who had scared you was a boy. Well, a man. Dressed in all black clothing that looked new, guns in small holsters as he stood looking at the other men that had been bothering you. Had it not been for the guns you didn't think he would have intimidated them that much, he wasn't much taller than you and he seemed rather sweet in the face.

"Thanks," You uttered as he helped you up from the ground, noticing the wound on your side when a whistling sound sounded in the air.

"Someone's getting a package," You laughed softly as you looked up in the sky for wherever the package would be coming from but it dropped right into the boy's hands.

"I was dared to save a stranger." He chuckled as he opened the mental container revealing two chocolate bars.

"Here," He offered you one and you stared at him, there was no way he could have been serious.

"You don't know me...Why would you offer me something you worked for?" Leaning back against a rock you tried to steady yourself from fainting. The bleeding was starting to worsen and you knew you were going to end up losing consciousness soon.

"Because that's what decent people do...You should clean yourself up before you get infected..." Spot the obvious sherlock you looked at him before down at your shirt that was starting to turn pink from the blood.

"I'm out of first aid stuff, I think all I have is gauze." You hissed out lifting your shirt up to reveal the small gash on your side. You must have landed on a sharp brick or a twig when you slipped from the museum building. It was a high chance it would become infected if you didn't get something fast.

"Do you have a dare? Maybe you could do something," Staring down at your pager you remembered it had gone off. The whole reason you had gotten into this mess, they should have come with a vibrating setting.

"Kiss a stranger and win a first aid box." You laughed looking at it, the words flashing over and over again as you thought about it.

"It's like whoever controls them knows what's going to happen to us before we do." You spoke looking back up, the boy knelt down in front of you rooting through his bag for something he could use to help you when you grabbed him by the face.

"Sorry." You mumbled before pushing your lips against his.

In that moment the kiss was something that felt as close to home as you had been in the longest time. The boy was shocked but pulled you closer to him, moving his lips in time with yours as he wrapped his arms protectively around you. The kiss was warm and inviting, something you hadn't felt in the longest time and you weren't sure you ever wanted it to end.

Neither of you pulled apart until the whistling sound happened and a box landed beside you but it was far too small for a first aid kit.

"What did they give you?" He frowned as he looked at the box. Unlocking it you popped it open to find a hotel key. The whole time you had been doing these dares you'd never once been given a hotel room, you'd only ever heard stories about it and to be honest. You thought it was all rumours.

"Why would they give me a hotel key when I was promised a first aid kit?" The persistent pain in your side was starting to worsen when another beep signalled from your pager. It wasn't a dare but directions to a building with the words,

"Take Felix with you." You glanced up at the boy you had just made out with and he seemed to be blushing deeply. It must have been him you were going to take with you to a random location.

"Felix?" He nodded his head as he held out his hand for you to shake which seemed pointless after the make-out session you had both had.

"Y/n." You smiled before shaking his hand and getting up from the rock you were leaning against.

"Let's go and find a hotel..." Felix wrapped your arm around his shoulder wanting to help you walk without hurting yourself.

"I'm sure everything will be explained when we get there." He told you as he began to follow the directions that were now flashing on his pager.

"Have you ever gotten a hotel for a dare?" You asked, truly interested to hear anything about the boy you had been kissing.

"No. I thought people were lying when they told me they stayed in one." You agreed with him. The stories you heard seemed too good to be true. One hotel building left standing, nothing wrong with it and it worked perfectly. Why would that be the only building left standing?

"I heard they have running water and electricity." He whispered as you continued to walk together but the same question was left. Why? Why would it be there and no one allowed to enter?

The question was answered quickly when you reached the hotel. The entire place was surrounded by large electrical fences as well as men as large as the fences guarding it.

"They have to be...What? Eight-foot?" You whimpered as you looked up at Felix. The men all had the same faces and as you got close you realised they had no eyes. Just black holes where their eyes should have been and a creepy smile on their face.

"Just a little creepy," You whispered as you moved towards the gate, one of the men bent down and opened it. Slamming and locking it shut once you were inside the safety of the fences.

"They remind me of Hachishakusama...The old urban legend only male." Felix muttered in your ear as you walked through the doors of the hotel. Suddenly it felt as though you were back in time.

The whole place was crowded with people, dressed in clothing that wasn't ruined or covered in blood. Laughing and joking with one another as they walked around the hotel lobby together.

"AH! Welcome! You must be Y/n and Felix, yes...Yes, we've been waiting for you." A small man said as he came out from behind the counter. Dressed in a fresh suit and he smelt like roses,

"Do you have the key?" Fishing the small key from your pocket you handed it to him and he smiled up at you.

"I'll have Xavier take your bags," The small man clapped his hands together and you jumped when you saw one of the things from outside coming up to you. It said nothing as it held out its hands to take your bags.

"You'll be given fresh clothing and don't worry Y/n we have some items in the room for you to clean your cut with. Nasty little gash," You stared back at the small man, how had he seen it when you were still dressed.

"How did-"

"No time for questions dear, let's go to the elevators." Following behind the man you stared around the hotel. Red carpets, huge chandeliers and working lights, it was all too good to be true. You must have died when you slipped from the ledge there was no way this was real.

"There's always a catch." You laughed when you walked into the hotel room to find one double bed there. The small man, who you eventually learned the name was Wooyoung, gave you a key to the room and left you alone. Your bags were taken away and never seen again and now you knew why. Fresh clothes were hanging on the back of the door with a wardrobe filled with other clothes.

"I think this is for you," Holding up a small tube Felix smiling at you.

"Healing ointment?" Your heart raced, you'd received it once before for a large gash on your leg. One layer applied to your body and it would fix whatever was wrong, no matter what kind of gash it was.

"I'll use a little and keep the rest." You stated lifting your shirt up to apply the cream but Felix came closer.

"Let me." He whispered as he took the cream from you, applying a small layer to three of his fingers and adding it to your injury. You cried out clutching onto his hand tightly trying not to cry. You forgot how painful it was to have the ointment applied to an open wound but you knew it would soon feel good.

"Did the guys who were chasing do this?" He questioned when you lowered your shirt back down.

"No. I fell off the museum ledge and I must have hit myself on a brick." You wanted to laugh at how clumsy you must have been but you were too busy looking around the room.

"We have running water...Do you want to shower first?" You shook your head, offering him the shower while you could stalk around the room for any sign that this was a dream.

Laying on your back in the bed you stared at the ceiling, your mind was racing too much to comprehend what was happening. You were dressed in brand new clothes instead of something that was covered in wholes, rips and smelt like a sewer. The silk sheets around you felt as though they were something crafted in the heavens and you were laid beside someone you barely knew.

"Have you been alone this whole time?" You questioned randomly knowing that neither of you could sleep. The bed was far too comfy and the room was too quiet, both of you were used to having screams or loud noises happening around you. It felt too peaceful for either of you to find sleep anytime soon.

"No. I was with a group of friends but we got separated." He mumbled thinking back on seven of his friends he hadn't seen in lord knows how long. It was impossible to tell how many days it had been since this whole thing started.

"What about you?" He turned his head to look at you and you shook your head. There'd been no one for you to attach yourself to, your family was gone and you knew no one in the world you could turn to for help so you went it alone.

"I've been alone the whole time..." Your voice sounded strained, it was the first time admitting it to someone other than yourself. Mostly because you never let anyone get close enough to you to speak. You'd run before they could kill you or take your supplies but with Felix it was different. It felt normal to be around him and it felt safe.

"Family?" You shook your head, everyone you had ever met was someone your age or only a few years older or younger. There was no one older than 30 anywhere to be seen.

"Do you remember what you were doing before all of this?" You shook your head once again, you remembered nothing besides your family and your name.

"I remember going to sleep and waking up to my house falling down around me. You?" He nodded his head, it was almost everything he had remembered from the time before his life here.

"The same. I was asleep in my room with my roommates, then nothing...We were in a crumbling building." Looking at him you could tell the memory of his friends upset him. There was no reason for you to pry besides an interest in getting to know him.

"When did you get separated?" His head turned to look back up at the ceiling. It had been a while since he thought back on what had happened between them.

"Sixteen days ago...We were doing some kind of dare in an abandoned factory and that was it. Never saw them again..." Your heart sank as you realised how scared he must have been after being with them since the start. From having the safety of other people around him to having nothing and no one.

"I waited outside the factory for ten days but then supplies got low and I had to move." He looked down at his hands, it was something he had always regretted. Had they come back while he was gone? Something he constantly thought about. There was only one way in and out of the factory there was nowhere else they could have gone.

"Felix I'm so sorry." You whispered reaching out to place your hand on top of his as you. Felix stared back at you to see your eyes were filled with sympathy for him,

"No...It's not your fault." He looked at you and smiled, a genuine smile something you hadn't seen in a long time. Your eyes flicked down to his lips and all you could think about was inching closer to kiss him again so you did.

Gently pressing your lips against his you sighed as you felt the feeling of home flooding back into you. Felix felt it too and all he wanted to do was never let go of you, to feel it all day every day.

It was hard to describe it any other way than that. Kissing him felt as though it grounded you and took you out of the crummy world you had.

"Goodnight Felix," You breathed as you rolled over onto your side, closing your eyes to finally get some rest.

Felix woke up long before you did and found a note on his pager, he hadn't even heard it in the night.

Stick with her and good things will come.

No dare. Just some cryptic message that good things would come if he stayed by your side. There was no way he was going to fight something he couldn't see so he stayed, laying beside you reading through a book that was left on the bedside cabinet.

"How long have you been awake?" You whined as you rolled over to see him sitting up in the bed,

"I'm not sure. You looked peaceful so I figured I should let you sleep for a while." He explained as he shut the book he was reading, he was about to mention the pager message when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in?" You called out to the door, it opened and Xavier walked into the room pushing a small trolley. There was still the empty eyes and creepy smile plastered across its face. Grunting before leaving you alone with the tray of food you exchanged a look with Felix.

"Creepy even in the morning." He mumbled as he watched you crawling to the end of the bed. The trolley was covered in food, breakfast desserts and a small envelope with your name on the front of it.

"What does it say?" Felix asked as his mouth watered at the sight of all the food. Something he hadn't seen in however long it had been, frits, baked goods and actual food that wasn't some kind of animal they had to kill in order to eat it.

"Y/n, meet your new teammate. Follow the rules, the dares and you will be greatly rewarded. Enjoy the food and the hotel for as long as we see fit." You stared from the piece of paper and back to Felix who looked almost as confused as you did.

"Teammate? What is this? Some sort of game?" You scoffed throwing the paper into the bin before grabbing food and handing some to Felix.

"Greatly rewarded? What could they give us?" Felix questioned as he thought back to the message he had gotten that morning.

"I had a message on my pager. It told me to stay with you and good things would come." The two of you stared back at one another confused as to what everything could mean and why you had to stay together. Was it the same condition everyone was sticking to in the hotel?

"So we stick together, what does that mean exactly?" He questioned you as he bit down into the croissant he was holding. You wish you had answers but the messages were so vague you didn't have a hint, at least if you were on your own you didn't have to worry about someone else all of the time.

"We do our dares together? What happened when you were with your friends?" Felix thought back on everything. The first few dares they'd gotten were to receive items they needed by themselves but the rest were together.

"Chan and I were dared to climb across a rope suspended over 15 floors...We did it to get food for all of us," You nodded trying to think back on some of the things you had to do, most of them not dangerous at all.

"I had to give myself a tattoo in order to get some blankets." You pulled up the sleeve of your nightshirt to reveal the small circle you had done.

"It was supposed to be a heart...But it hurt and I just did a circle instead." Felix smiled as he saw the small ink splodge just below the pit of your elbow.

"Have you gotten anything dangerous before?" You shook your head in the answer to his question. Whoever was giving you dares had been going fairly easy on you which was beginning to worry you know that you heard Felix had hard ones.

"I just wish we knew who or what was doing it to us." You admitted as you looked over at your pager. There had to be someone controlling them, governments, parents, some other world that had taken over?

"My friend Jisung had a theory," Felix laughed thinking back on Jisung. He was the one that always made the group laugh, no matter what was going on around him he had to make people laugh.

"Aliens." That was all Felix said as you shook your head,

"Explain more! How could it just be aliens," You shook your head laughing at the concept though you guessed anything could be possible by the state of the world.

"Well, he thought that they came one night and decided they wanted to test us...See how far we would go to survive." You shrugged, it wasn't completely impossible. The entire universe was huge no one knew what was out there and if that thing like Xiaver was around who knew what else could be out there.

"I wonder when the next dare will be?" You hated the fact that you were being fed food just for kissing a stranger. There had to be more to it than that, there was always a catch.

But there wasn't. From what you could tell it had been two months since you and Felix moved into the hotel, there were no more dares for you to follow. Just notes every morning with breakfast complimenting how well you and Felix seemed to be getting on well with one another.

"It's starting to freak me out." You told Felix as you sat by the indoor pool one morning, another Xiaver was guarding the room to make sure nothing happened. Since staying in the hotel you learnt that all of the 8-foot-tall beings were called Xiaver, they had no personality and no ability to talk.

"What is?" Felix asked as he swam over to the side of the pool you were sitting at, you looked at him and then around the room. Nothing felt as though it was relaxing to you, couples around the hotel seemed on edge all of the time. No one looked as happy as they did on your first day there.

"This whole place...You don't find it off that there's nothing here, no dares? Just someone telling us how well we get along." The two of you had developed a friendship and budding relationship since being trapped together. Sharing a bed with the same person every night was bound to form some kind of connection. You would spend all day every day together because you were the only ones who know one another.

"I find it nice, I would like if you stop trying to poke holes into my relaxation," He muttered pulling you into the water with him and wrapping your legs around his waist.

"But why would they want us to relax? After all of this time why now?" You pouted as Felix held you in his arms staring into your eyes.

"Maybe whoever it is thought we had enough...That we should enjoy our time together." Even that seemed far fetched to you but you nodded at him.

"I still don't-" He cut you off by kissing you softly on the lips, smiling as he felt you relax against him.

"If I rant again will you kiss me?" He shook his head, running his hand over your face and smiling weakly.

"I don't need you to rant for me to kiss you." He leant down and connected your lips together once again making you sigh happily against his lips.

The two of you would do this a lot too, it was the first real human connection you'd had in a while and you never wanted to lose the feeling.

"Can I tell you something?" Your voice was hoarse as you pressed your forehead against Felix's.

"Sure, We're friends right...You can tell me anything," You smiled weakly as you shook your head,

"That's the problem...I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Good. Because I think I'm falling in love with you too." You smiled softly smashing your lips together, all of a sudden the kisses were heated and filled with passion.

From the pool to your room the two of you made out every chance you got, passion building between you whenever you had the chance.

"We don't have to do anything you're not ready for." Felix panted as he pressed you down against the bed, kissing up and down your neck as you shook your head.

"I'm fine. I-I want you, Felix," You whispered as he began to press his mouth onto yours, pulling off your bikini you had been wearing in the pool and throwing it elsewhere in the room.

Slowly moving your hands down his body you gripped him in your hand softly pumping him as he let out a choked moan. Thrusting his hips into your hand as he rolled his eyes back. It had been the first time in forever since he'd even thought about touching himself let alone having someone else do it for him.

"Oh fuck that feels good," He moaned out as his head rolled back, thrust in and out of your hand while you used your thumb to rub the tip.

"Y/n." He whispered as he ran his hands down to your core rubbing your bundle of nerves causing you to whine out his name. Bucking your hips so much that the tip of his cock hit your entrance and you clenched around nothing.

"Felix please," You whispered as you arched your back of the bed, desperate to have him buried inside of you.

Wrapping your ankles around his waist he pulled you to the edge of the bed running his cock through your folds.

"Lix," You sighed rolling your head back against the mattress as you waited for him.

"You beg so sweetly," He chuckled before running his cock through your folds and up to your clit making you cry out louder.

Slowly easing into your he moaned out as he felt you clenching around him tightly. Nails digging into his arms you adjusted to the size inside of you,

"Holy fuck," You moaned out as you could feel your pussy throbbing and clenching just from the first thrust,

"You're so fucking tight," He grunted out as he felt you clench around him once more.

"M-Move Lix, please." You begged him bucking your hips around him as he slowly began to pull out and bottom back into you. Screaming out his name you rolled your head back against the bed, enjoying the feeling of his full length in you.

"Faster," You panted as you looked up at him, pulling him down into a deep kiss as your pushed your hands into his hair.

"Faster? You're sure?" He panted as he looked at you,

"Make me scream." You smirked as he looked back at you, a smirk covering his face as he began to thrust in and out of you at a fast pace. Pounding in and out of you at a steady rhythm as he grunted loudly.

"Fuck you feel so good!" He moaned out as he continued to thrust faster into you. Your moans of his name encouraging him as you gripped onto his arms.

"S-Shit Lix, don't stop." You begged as you could feel your orgasm fast approaching. The feeling felt so foreign to you but so good, your mind was starting to go blank as you cried out nothing but his name. Hips thrusting harder and harder as he began to rub your clit making you scream out his name, by now everyone on your floor knew what you were going to be doing.

"I'm-I'm gonna cum," You warned him as your eye screwed shut, gripping onto the sheets as your back arched away from the bed.

"Holy fuck! Right there," You begged him as his hips continued to hit you right where you needed it until you came around him. Exploding as you clenched around him, it felt as though your whole body was suddenly on fire as your pussy clenched over and over again.

Felix's thrusts slowed to a stop as his breathing became ragged and hard.

"Shit." He panted as he kissed your neck, feeling himself twitching inside of you as he came.

Falling down beside you he pulled you into his arms, kissing up and down your shoulder softly.

"Well, that confirmed it," He panted as he placed a kiss on your shoulder, making you giggle at him.

"Confirmed what?"

"That I am in fact, 100% totally in love with you." He breathed out before leaving a soft and gentle kiss on your lips.

A loud tannoy began to play in your room startling you and Lix awake as you looked around to see what was going on.

"Good morning our lovely couple. I'll expect to see you in the lobby in ten minutes!" You frowned hearing Wooyoung's voice coming through the speaker system in your room. In the whole time, you had been staying it had never happened, not once.

"I wonder what that's about," Felix whispered as he sat up in the bed, looking over at the wardrobe to decide what he was going to wear that day.

"Probably in trouble for how loud we were." You whined remembering the night before as you pushed yourself off the bed. Not that you were complaining, if that kept happening between you and Felix you were never going to complain about a single thing in the world ever again.

"New pagers?" You frowned as Wooyoung placed a white pager in your hands, smiling up at you as he nodded.

"You've been chosen. Congratulations." The congratulations didn't make you feel comforted in fact it made you uneasy as you stared at the new pager in your hands. A notification coming through almost right away.

"To stay one more night we dare you to...Get a new tattoo..." You frowned looking at the words on the screen, Felix frowned as his pager didn't go off yet.

"Well. That dare seems simple, we have someone on hand if you want to come through." Wooyoung seemed overly chipper as he leads you and Felix over to a set of doors. Pushing them open he smiled when he saw one of the chairs were free, all of the seven others were taken by other people completing the same dare.

"We have another!" Wooyoung cried out as he handed you a small folder of designs to look through. All of them had the words, "The Game," written somewhere into the design and you stared anxiously at Felix. It wasn't the fear of getting a tattoo but the fear that this was a game to some people, then there was the uneasy feeling that there were only couples in the hotel. Had whoever been creating the dares been waiting for you and Felix to come together?

"What design would you like us to give to her?" The question was directed at Felix who looked at you shocked,

"I have to decide? But it was her dare..." You looked at the man who shook his head,

"Her's was to get a tattoo yours should be-" Before he could say coming through now his Felix's pager lit up and the words came across the screen.

"Two extra nights, you decide what she's branded with," A shiver ran through you. Branded? This had to be some kind of sick game but you never wanted out of the hotel. It had become too good to leave, going back into the world meant sleeping on the floor and not knowing when your next meal was going to come.

"I trust you," You whispered as you kissed Felix softly, sitting down in the chair and waited for whatever he gave you.

The tattoo he'd given you was no larger than a usually sized post-it note, it was a floral design and besides the words it was perfect.

"At least we have two more nights," He whispered as you got into the elevator again to up to your floor. Another couple joining you as they looked at you, the male had a black eye and his girlfriend had a large cut on her stomach. As soon as they caught you looking at them they stared back at the doors making you stare up at Felix in a panic. The couple looked as though they'd been in a wrestling fight with a bear and lost but Felix just wrapped his arm around your waist protectively and kissed your shoulder.

Days and weeks began to go by and the dares began to get more and more out of control. It had started with something small as running naked through the halls, jumping into the pool naked or just having a verbal fight with someone. Now it was out of hand. Just last week you had been dared to punch someone in the face while they had been dared to fight someone leaving you bruised eyes and a busted up lip.

"There's no way." You whimpered as you sat beside Felix in the pool room. The Xavier's were loading the pool up with buckets of fish, you couldn't even tell what they were from this far away.

"Swim with Pirana's for another night's stay. Good things are coming." Felix read the pager to you and you gripped onto his hand, there was no way on the planet that you were even going to allow him of jumping into that pool.

"You can't...They'll eat you," You panicked as you looked at him, begging him not to do it but he didn't have a choice.

"Wooyoung said this is the easiest one. All I have to do is not move while I'm in there." You shook your head as he began walking to the edge of the pool, looking over at the fish that were calmly swimming around in the new water.

"Felix we can go outside, we don't have to keep putting ourselves through this." You begged but he knew neither of you wanted to go outside into the world now so he did it. Climbing down the ladder into the water so he was in the shallow end of the pool, you sat right by the edge ready to yank him out if anything happened.

"This is too easy Lix." You hissed at him as he just stood there, looking at you as he shook his head.

"Not everything is going to be as bad as you think." His face dropped and the colour drained as he saw one of the Xiavers coming into the room with another bucket.

"For an additional month-long stay, stay inside with the Pirarna's for an extra two minutes." You frowned reading the pager out to him not understanding until you saw the look of terror on Felix's face. Xavier had begun to pour fish guts and bones into the water surrounded Felix.

"Get out." You ordered him as you stared back at Felix,

"Please just get out. It's not worth it." You panicked feeling your heart begin to pound against your chest but he didn't move. He stayed still as a rock as he looked at you, smiling weakly trying not to show how truly terrified he was.

"Lix." Tears began to pour down your face, one bite was as sharp as a razor and there had to be around 400 Pirana's swimming around him at all times, eating parts of the fish that had been thrown in for them.

A buzzer sounded and Felix practically jumped out of the water, grabbing you and cradling you in his arms as you sobbed against his chest.

"Never again!" You yelled at home as you rocked back and forth a little.

"You can't leave me...I won't lose you." You whimpered over and over again as he kissed the top of your year. Neither of you noticing the cameras capturing every moment you had together in the pool.

The final month had been and gone so quickly, you spent most of your time locked up in the room together trying to convince Felix that you could both make it out there but he dropped a bomb on you. The pagers you originally had were never going to come back and the white ones would only work in the hotel,

"Once we're out there we're alone. No supplies unless we start stealing." He told you as he tried to convince you everything was going to be okay. That he would take anything too dangerous out of your hands while you told him not to be stupid.

"Dare time. For one glorious night, stab yourself in the thigh." You read out right before a knock on the door sounded, you sniffled looking at Felix who got up to answer the door.

"I bring you whatever you want to stab yourself with, we heard they wanted a show from you both. You're the hit of the hotel, everyone keeps talking about the two of you." Staring at the tray he had bought into the room you saw a selection of knifes all waiting for you to take.

"I can take her dare, right?" Felix questioned but it was too late. You'd already taken one of the steak knives and lodged it into your thigh, holding back a shriek as you felt blood begin to trickle down your leg.

"A girl that wastes no time, we love it," Wooyoung smirked yanking the knife out and leaving you there to bleed,

"F-Felix." You whispered pointing over at the wardrobe where your things were kept.

"The ointment is in there," You'd get up yourself but you were busy clutching your thigh to stop the bleeding.

"I would have done it for you,"

"I am capable you know." You laughed as he began to apply the cream to your leg, looking at you and shaking his head as he thought about how bad things were going to get from there.

"Maybe there will be one big dare we can do...So that we never have to do a dare again?" You hummed, it seemed too good to be true but you had hope that one day it would all end. That the two of you would have done enough dares between you to let you go.

Final dare. Freedom for you. Kill Him. Staring at your pager you frowned. Freedom for you? You glanced over at Felix who was in the middle of an arm wrestle with someone else on your floor. It wasn't a dare just something to do while you waited for the days to pass by faster. You wondered if Felix had gotten the same page but he never flinched or moved to signal that his pager had gone off.

Final dare. Freedom for you. Kill Her. You were in the shower when Felix got his page and panic flooded through him. Kill you? When did this become a game of murder? The water shut off and you came out wrapped in a towel and stared at him.

"You got it too?" You whispered when you noticed the look on his face, you'd known him so long it was like reading the pages of a magazine with him.

"You got the same?" He questioned as he sat down on the bed. You were laying there trying to make it look as though you weren't whispering to him. If there were people watching you at all hours of the day to make sure dares were completed there had to be a camera in your room.

"Why would they want us to kill each other?" You whispered as you looked through the book in front of you, Felix frowned as he thought about it more. The two of you sat there together as you read through the book in your hand, exchanging a couple of looks with him every now and again.

"Alien theory still stands. Want to see how far they can push us." You scoffed getting up from the bed and changing into some clothes. Sitting there and doing nothing about the dare was getting you nowhere. You had one more night thanks to a dare you'd completed the other day, a game of Russian roulette which you had clearly won.

"Well, then I'm going back into the real world...I'm not going to kill you." Felix watched you as you began to pack different items into an overnight bag as if any of it was going to help you in the outside world. None of that was going to help you out there, not anymore.

"I can't go back out there," He told you plainly making you stare over at him waiting for him to tell you that he was joking but he stared at you with a serious look, not once giving you any indication that it was a joke.

"Lix...I won't kill you," You frowned as you shook your head at him, there was no way you were going to be able to bring yourself to kill someone you loved that deeply.

"Then I guess I'll have to kill you." The breath felt as though it was knocked from your lungs as Felix got up from the bed just staring at you. Slowly beginning to walk towards you with a blank expression on his face as your heart hammered against your chest.

"You can't! I-I love you, you wouldn't-" You stopped speaking when a knife flew past your head and lodged into the door behind you, staring at the handle you looked back at him.

"I won't go back out there. I can't." Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach as you began to realise he was willing to kill you in order to stay there forever.

The tannoy speakers began to crackle before a song played through them loudly,

"Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run." As soon as the lyrics played your eyes wandered to Felix who pulled out one of his guns from the wardrobe.

"Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Goes the farmer's gun." Throwing the door open you slammed it behind you making a sprint for the elevators but two Xiaver's were guarding the doors and shaking their heads. Hands simply pointing in the direction of the stairs and the song continued to play louder and louder, faster and faster with each second.

"HELP ME!" You screamed as you banged on different doors hoping that someone would hear your calls and come out to help you but nothing happened.

"Y/n! Don't run, it spoils my fun!" Felix sang out in a singing voice watching as you walked into the stairwell, down was where Wooyoung would be waiting for you so you rushed up.

"I thought you loved me..." Your voice came out broken as you stood on the roof of the hotel looking at Felix who had followed you up to the top floor.

"I do! I need to do this, if you want to go out there you might as well be dead!" You stepped closer to the edge of the roof as you stared at him, shaking your head over and over again.

"If you truly loved me you wouldn't do this," You panted as he stared at you,

"Y/n. Get down before you hurt yourself." Wooyoung cried out as he watched you so close to the edge, your eyes darted over to him. Felix watched you as you looked at Wooyoung,

"If I jump what happens?" You looked over your shoulder, it had to be around a 12 story drop and you looked back at Wooyong.

"The dare would be cancelled, he would have to do something else..." Eyes darting back at Felix you nodded slowly watching as he shot a bullet at Wooyoung hitting the floor beside him and rushing over to you.

"Then I choose Y/n. I don't want to kill her. I don't want to go out there." His arms wrapped around your waist as you smiled at him, you'd hope this would call someone's bluff, whoever was watching or maybe even Wooyoung but he stared at you both.

"You think we don't get this all the time? People decided to call out bluff. Do it." He answered coldly as he folded his arms over his chest.

"I love you," You breathed out to Felix as he held your face in his hands,

"I love you more." He whispered kissing you softly as you both stepped over the edge.

A gust of wind hit you and then nothing. Just darkness. Your breathing was jagged as you moved around, complete darkness surrounded you until you felt something moving around you.

"Here," Something was removed from your eyes and you saw Felix standing there perfectly fine as he stared back at you.

"What- Where-"

"Look," He held up a headset that covered your eyes and you frowned even more.

"It's all fake...Everything was fake." He whispered as he helped you stand up. Nothing he said was making sense until you looked around you, you were sat in a hospital room with a headset on over your eyes.

"They've been researching us...Look." He pulled up a chart from the end of your bed to show you. Your name was printed on the front along with everything that had been happening in the world you thought was real.

"We didn't- We're not dead?" You couldn't find the words to speak and it was a wonder Felix was even able to put all of this together as he moved around the room.

"The two best players." A voice you knew cried out as the door opened, standing there was Wooyoung but he looked different somehow.

"I know, you're thinking about how devilishly handsome I am in this world compared to the alternate one." You blinked at him as he rolled his eyes and came further into the room.

"Congratulations on getting through the game, you have won a quarter of a million dollars." There was no excitement in his voice and you wondered if this was still part of "the game".

"You won when you decided your love with too strong, blah, blah, blah." He grumbled as he looked at you both.

"You'll get a full health check from a nurse but then you're free to go. Felix, your team are all waiting for you." All of this was beginning to hurt your head but Felix sat down beside you, holding your hand tightly in his.

"So none of it was real?" You questioned Chan who was sitting in front of you in the dorms. You'd been able to picture them perfectly from all of the stories Felix had told you,

"Nothing. The pain was all simulated through pads attached to your body and we were all knocked out on so many meds that none of us knew what was real or not real." You blinked once again, all of it had been explained by the nurses. That it was all some competition to win some money during a video game, you couldn't remember anything from before but they said it was normal. It didn't feel right to you, waking up a completely different person because of some video game/alternate universe Wooyoung and a team of scientists had made.

"How do we know this is real?" You whispered to Felix who gave your hand a squeeze,

"Because we know this world...We remembered it," You nodded at him laying your head on his shoulder.

"You'll get taken for tests every other week...To make sure you're adjusting back in properly." Hyunjin said as he handed you another plate of food.

"But this is all real? We're home?" You questioned wanting to make sure that everything was as they said it was.

"Well...We're home, your home is wherever you came from." Chan explained as he looked over at your phone, you had over 500 missed calls and texts from your family and friends wondering where you had been.

"I'll call them," You whispered to Felix before getting up from the chair and kissing his forehead. Although everything that had happened in the fake world was fake, your feelings with Felix had been the most real thing you had felt and you were never going to let that go.

Tagline: @minholuvs @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @justbangtanthingz @taeechwitaa @stillwithlix

#skz #skz x reader #skz smut #skz imagine #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #strya kids imagine #stray kids imagines #stray kids smut #lee felix #lee felix x reader #lee felix imagine #lee felix imagines #lee felix smut #felix x reader #felix imagine #felix imagines #felix smut

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neoculturetravesty · 3 years

Text

We met in online class - Part 9

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language, fist fight, a character has Covid-19 Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: So proud of the boys for breaking records with Hot Sauce 🥺💛 Also, Eid Mubarak to all who celebrate!

Renjun is ashamed to be surprised, but his friends remain true to their word.

That night, Renjun slept for what he’s sure was a good fourteen hours. Because by the time he woke, it was way in the afternoon. Jaemin was already back from his shift and Jeno was almost halfway through his. Jisung had insisted that Renjun get some more rest before he had to take over. It was a tiny bit disconcerting to have Jisung hovering over him the entire day to make sure he was eating and feeling okay, but Renjun had to admit--this was exactly what he needed. He didn’t like who he was when he was alone.

The boys had apparently even created a dedicated group chat where they would post updates and a list of things that were required at the hospital. Not that there was much required, anyway. But the boys would make sure that at the very least, Renjun’s mom had fresh clothes and home cooked food everyday while she couldn’t get out herself. Jaemin had even taken Renjun’s phone and gotten it fixed so he at least had a proper screen instead of a cracked one.

Even when Renjun was sure that he could take over on his own, the boys wouldn’t allow it. On many occasions, he had just stayed by them during their turns, thankful for their company and their friendship. Because who else in this world would spend their semester break in this fashion? He’s pretty sure they had plans; but they had forsaken them all to be there for him.

Renjun has no idea how it happens, but slowly and surely, things start to get better. He’s pretty certain it has to be some sort of a miracle. Like a little break of sunshine had finally decided to shine on him through the dark clouds. Like somehow, his guardian angel had decided that it had slacked off for long enough and now it should give Renjun a break. Because one day, the doctors tell them that Renjun’s grandmother will be a lot weaker for the next few days to come… but with a lot of care and attention, she should be ready to go home. They echo Renjun’s thoughts and tell them that it is nothing short of a miracle, but also that he should be thankful that his grandmother is still young and has a fighting spirit.

The day she is taken off of life support and brought into another room with a window through which he can see her, Renjun can’t hold himself back. He hugs onto Jaemin so tight and cries happy tears, and Jaemin holds him back just as strong, though he’s sure that he’s so overwhelmed by relief that he’s putting all of his weight onto the boy. But Jaemin doesn’t relent and holds onto him and lets him cry tears of joy into his shoulder.

The boys head home that night and laugh till they cry and celebrate Renjun’s grandma’s life and health. They eat like they had been hungry for days and slump their shoulders in ease like they had been keeping them tense for too long. They laugh and they sit together and keep letting out long sighs of relief, as if each breath was undoing a knot in their chest. It’s a sweet, victorious sort of a happy moment, and it is Jeno who has to remind them they need to focus now more than ever so that Renjun’s grandma can get her strength back and finally test negative. And it is an important reminder because the new semester is about to begin soon and given classes, they will have to redo their hospital visit schedules.

At the very least, they learn that the new semester would begin online, because the sudden surge in Covid cases had led them to another lockdown. Renjun’s not sure whether he should be happy or upset about it. On the one hand, he thinks this lockdown should’ve happened earlier so his grandma would’ve never gotten sick in the first place. On the other hand, he is happy that his grandma would now be safe and recover comfortably.

When classes begin and Renjun finds all his housemates at home, his heart drops a little and he wonders if he should just skip today. But an amused Jeno mutes himself during his online class and stops him.

“You have other friends, too, you know?” Jeno cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, but I’m sure they have classes, too. Plus, the four of us have been doing this from the beginning, so… I don’t know…” Renjun says, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling a bit nervous about leaving his mother and grandma on their own without help. But Jeno looks at him like he’s talking gibberish.

“Dude. Not the four of us. All seven of us have been doing this from the very beginning.” Jeno says, eyebrow still cocked, looking at Renjun like he’s sure he’s lost his mind.

Renjun looks up and for a moment, he is sure his face looks dumb. Because if the buffering wheel was a human expression, Renjun’s certain he’s wearing it now. “All… seven?”

“Do you even check the group chat? Chenle and Mark and Donghyuck. They’ve all been doing their duty from Day 1, you idiot. How else would the rest of us come home so early?” Jeno scoffs and laughs a bit, knotting his eyebrows at his clueless friend.

For a moment, Renjun is silenced. Because he doesn’t know how to process this information. He feels a swell in his chest. A sort of happiness that only true friendship brings. But at the same time, he feels an incredible pang of guilt, because for one, he is an asshole that keeps underestimating the said friendship. And for the other, he had done absolutely nothing to be deserving of such love.

“Dong… Donghyuck, too?” Renjun asks and he feels his heart breaking, though even in this surreal moment of realization, he recognizes how strange it is to feel heartbreak over something like this.

“Of course, you idiot. Donghyuck was the one that stayed at the hospital the entire first night when you were asleep.” Jeno tells him and smacks him lightly on the head.

And for the first time in his life, Renjun actually feels what it is like to have his head physically hang in shame. “I don’t deserve it.” he sighs.

“I really don’t understand you sometimes, Huang Renjun.” Jeno says and turns his attention back to his class.

“What do you mean?” Renjun retorts.

“Just because friends have a dumb fight, doesn’t mean they abandon each other in times of need.” Jeno states like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

It should be simple and obvious, everything Jeno has said. But to Renjun, it is groundbreaking. Because Renjun wasn’t used to being loved and cared for without condition. In his dark and convoluted view of the world, everything was give and take. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. But here they were--his friends that were shattering all of those dumbass beliefs. Telling him that although he had been a grade A asshole and punched them in the face, they understood that he was going through some shit, and that taking care of his sick grandmother trumped all other childish grudges. Renjun realizes that perhaps, he was the most childish out of all his friends. Somewhere in his turbulent childhood, he might have skipped a lot of emotional development. Because why else would the kindness and love of his friends shock him so?

Jeno peeks over the top of his laptop and watches Renjun deep in thought, paying no attention to his own class. “He’s at the hospital right now.” Jeno says knowingly.

And that’s all Renjun needs to hear before he slams his laptop shut and makes his way out.

The fact that Renjun is probably a few steps behind in his emotional development is solidified when he sits next to Donghyuck on a park bench and suddenly finds himself at a loss for what to say.

The rush of blood and adrenaline he had felt in his veins leaving his house for his apology tour seemed to have faded when he saw his friend’s face. Donghyuck had been sitting next to Renjun’s father, but that hadn’t been the bothersome part. It was the fact that his friend was sitting there for him, but with a black eye that Renjun had given him.

In the grand scheme of healing black eyes, Donghyuck definitely looked less hurt than the last time Renjun had seen him. The purples were mostly gone, leaving behind hues of yellow and a speck of blue here and there. Though he may have been healing, there were more colors on him than before and that’s what made him look worse. That’s also the part that makes Renjun feel most ashamed. His friend was here for him even though he looked like shit thanks to him.

Renjun is sure that on the list of top ten assholes of the world, he would find his own name on top.

But sitting next to Donghyuck outside in the fresh air, he has no idea what to say. He thinks real hard and decides to start in the safe zone.

“Did the guys tell you? About my grandma?” he asks.

“Um, no. It was Jimin.” Donghyuck replies awkwardly.

Renjun nods. “I, uh… I told the guys like a day later, though. Did you tell them before I did?”

“No, um… I was at a party with the 127s… I didn’t see her text till like the next day either, so…” Donghyuck trails off.

Renjun nods again, then swallows. It’s so strange, how awkward this all is. It is unsettling because Donghyuck is the least awkward person he knows, and he hates that this weird zone is where their relationship seems to be heading.

Not if he can help it.

In another rush of dumbass adrenaline, Renjun gets up abruptly and stands before Donghyuck.

“Go on. Do it.” Renjun says and takes a deep breath.

“Huh?” Donghyuck looks at his friend quizzically.

“Do it. Just make it quick.” Renjun nods with determination and points at his face.

“You’re crazy.” Donghyuck states and slides further away on the bench, eyebrows raised, and a grimace on his mouth.

“Just do it, man. Do it so we can move on.” Renjun says, placing both hands on his waist and squeezing his eyes shut.

“I’m not going to punch you so you can move on, you psycho.” Donghyuck’s face is contorted, like he’s scandalized and perhaps even slightly scared of his friend.

“Come on, Donghyuckie. Just punch me and get it over with.” Renjun waves his hand impatiently, not relenting.

“Are you not hearing me, you crazy? I’m not punching you just to make you feel better!” Donghyuck almost yells.

And because Renjun is pretty sure this would work, he grabs at Donghyuck’s collar just to provoke him.

“What the fuck?!” Donghyuck tries to push Renjun off of him.

“Hit me!” Renjun shouts.

“No, are you fucking crazy! Get off me!” Donghyuck grabs at the sleeves of Renjun’s jacket and tries to pry him off.

“Not till you hit me!” Renjun insists, clinging onto the boy, grabbing and pulling at him to annoy him best he can to get a reaction.

“I’m not going to hit you!” Donghyuck yells. The two boys spin in inelegant, rough circles on the grass, trying to push and pull at one another.

“Punch me or you got no balls!” Renjun yowls and then finally feels the blow to his face that sends him flying to the ground.

He pauses for a bit because his head spins for a solid ten seconds. He shakes it vigorously to get it to focus and it helps because then he looks up to find a very startled and distressed Donghyuck looking down at him, fist still raised in the air.

“That had more throw than power.” Renjun comments, massaging his jaw.

“Yeah, that’s what I was going for.” Donghyuck agrees.

For a moment both boys nod and look at each other, acknowledging the technique and form of the punch. And then, they burst into laughter because fuck, all of this was so stupid. Renjun rolls on the grass and Donghyuck doubles over as he stands. Then he offers Renjun his hand to help him get up, which he takes eagerly, using it to lift up and fling himself into his friend’s arms. They hold each other strongly, thumping one another on the back. And just like that, the awkwardness is gone. All that was meant to be said has been said and now Renjun is no longer struggling to find his words. They come easily, because all of this is so natural. He was with his best friend, after all.

“You are a crazy motherfucker, you know that, right?” Donghyuck comments, shaking his head as they sit back down on the bench.

Renjun chuckles, then looks at the grass, because his head hangs in shame again. “I’m a sorry motherfucker.”

Donghyuck puts an arm around Renjun and thumps his back again. “You should be sorry, you dumb fuck. But also, you’ve got a pretty toxic coping mechanism, you know that, right?”

Renjun sighs long “I know. The longer I think about it, the dumber I feel.”

He expects his friend to make a joke in return but he feels his hesitation. So he looks up and finds Donghyuck trying to think of what to say. “Have you ever thought about… like sorting that out, maybe?” he finally asks.

“Sorting it out?” Renjun asks, confused.

“Like... you know this isn’t normal, right?” Donghyuck asks, and he doesn’t sound like he’s mocking. His tone doesn’t have the slightest hint of a joke and that’s what makes Renjun realize what he’s talking about.

“No… no, I haven’t…” Renjun admits. He doesn’t know why he’s never thought about ‘sorting it out’. Perhaps because he’s always thought he was smarter than anyone who could offer him help.

“You could give it a try. Talking to someone really helps sometimes, you know? Getting help can help.” Donghyuck says carefully.

Renjun bites his lip. He knows his friend is right, but he’s never really, truly given it a thought. Donghyuck senses his discomfort and changes the subject.

“Your grandma is finally getting tested again tomorrow.” he says as he stretches.

Renjun smiles “Yeah. I honestly can’t believe it…” he looks at his best friend “... but I also don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you…”

Donghyuck frowns and shakes Renjun by the shoulder “Stop it before I throw up.”

“I mean it.”

“I’ll throw up even if you mean it.”

“Donghyuck…”

“Okay, really, stop. Also, I’m not even the one you should be thanking. Or apologizing to.” Donghyuck sits back after he’s had his fill of shaking Renjun.

“Of course, you’re the one I should be thanking and apologizing to, you stupid. You did all of this for me even when I was an absolute asshole to you.” Renjun presses.

“You are an asshole, but you’re also a dumb asshole.” Donghyuck declares.

“Hey, I’m trying to apologize nicely, here.” Renjun pouts and his friend lets out a long, exasperated sigh.

“I thought you were just being obtuse but you seriously don’t know…” Donghyuck shakes his head.

“Know what?” Renjun asks and Donghyuck shrugs and acts like a little shit which annoys Renjun, but at the same time fills him with relief. Because Donghyuck being a little shit to him means their friendship has been restored to its original state. But he asks again “Know what?!”

“Dude, no offense or anything, but did you really think your parents can put your grandma in a private room all on their own?” Donghyuck asks.

Renjun stops a bit. He’d been so worried about the fact that his grandma’s life was hanging by a thread that he hadn’t even thought about the expenses part. He knows his grandma had a little bit in savings, but his parents for sure didn’t earn that much. Come to think of it, he hadn’t even realized that this was one of the nicer hospitals around.

“Fuck it, I’m really going to have to spell it out for you. Since your brain doesn’t seem to be working.” Donghyuck sighs dramatically.

“What?”

“Dude. This is Y/N’s parents’ hospital. Your mother couldn’t possibly keep taking care of your grandma all on her own, now could she? When Y/N found out, she went crazy. She made her parents direct all their best resources into taking care of your grandma.”

For a while, the information hangs in the air.

Renjun had thought that he would never get to feel things that were new and unexplainable ever again. He thought he had experienced every single feeling his body had to offer. The past month alone had put him through more emotions than he had experienced in his whole life. He had seen it all, felt it all.

But what he’s experiencing right now doesn’t feel like gratitude or shame or longing or anything one should expect to feel in a situation like this. It just feels like a soft light has filled his chest and is lifting him in the air. He feels like he’s floating, like he’s having an out of body experience.

“Oh,” is the only thing he can manage to say.

And then he remembers your face. He hadn’t realized it then, but he sees now how badly he had wanted to see you that night. He had wanted no one but you to hold him and kiss him and tell him that he wasn’t alone. And he remembers how he couldn’t tell you any of that. He remembers how you had walked away with another man.

And that makes him come back to earth. He feels a resigned sort of sadness.

“Y/N is… she would do that for anybody, wouldn’t she?” Renjun smiles sadly.

“She probably would. But you should’ve seen how worried she was. Even now, she is on the phone everyday with her parents, making sure they’re doing everything they can. She didn’t want what happened to her grandmother to happen to yours.” Donghyuck tells him.

Renjun looks up “What happened to her grandmother?”

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows. “She passed away from Covid last year?” His eyebrows go higher still “She says she’s told you about this?”

Renjun thinks, and then it’s as if a veil on his memory is slowly but poorly being lifted. He remembers laying his head on your shoulder. He remembers feeling your shirt dampen from his tears. He remembers your fingers drawing relaxing patterns in his hair. He remembers your soothing voice, speaking to him with such tenderness that Renjun had barely heard your words and had focused instead on it’s sweet tones. But now, when Renjun is forcing himself to think, he very foggily recalls what you had been saying. You had been telling him about your own grandmother. Why hadn’t Renjun listened? Why did Renjun never listen when you spoke? He was such a selfish, arrogant fool. He wishes he could go back and change it all.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Are you really….” he sighs again, “Nevermind. But yeah, she basically went nuts because she couldn’t be here with you.”

Renjun’s heart is aching and he’s pretty sure his face reflects it. “I wish I could take it all back. Everything I did to her.”

“You can take it back.” Donghyuck says.

“How?”

“Apologize to her, you dummy.” Donghyuck smacks the back of his head.

“How? I tried calling her once but she didn’t pick up.” Renjun admits.

“Then you should call her again and again and again till it sticks.” Donghyuck says plainly and it makes so much fucking sense that Renjun is embarrassed that he hadn’t thought it.

“Yeah, but…” Renjun swallows, “... it doesn’t really matter now, does it?”

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck asks.

“She’s with Wong Hendery now. So…” Renjun can’t even complete the thought.

“What do you mean she’s with Wong Hendery?” Donghyuck scrunches his brows deep in his forehead in confusion.

“She left with him for the semester break. I went to see her… but she left with him…” Renjun presses his lips together.

“Wait…” Donghyuck says and Renjun looks up and nods at him as if to confirm the fact. But he sees something entirely different on his friend’s face. It’s an expression of deep dumbfoundedness. “... are you some sort of an idiot?” He asks like Renjun is the dimmest person he has ever come across.

And Renjun doesn’t help his cause because he only blinks in return.

“Dude! She’s not ‘with Wong Hendery,’” Donghyuck gets up and smacks Renjun across the head once again. “They’re partners on the SMK Trainee Drive. She’s literally been preparing for this for months? Shouldn’t you know this?”

Renjun blinks some more. SMK Trainee Drive? Renjun had heard and personally seen you preparing for interviews and these drives. But somehow a lot of it hadn’t registered in his brain. Once again, probably because he never listened to you well. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he was an idiot. He was the biggest idiot on the planet.

Yet right now, he was a smiling idiot whose heart was suddenly filling with hope. “She’s not… with… she’s not with Hendery?” Renjun is embarrassed. He feels so fucking stupid asking this, but he absolutely can’t help the smile spreading across his face.

“She’s literally at the tower right now. She’s been stuck because we went into lockdown whilst she was there. It’s why she couldn’t come and see you. But the highway doesn’t open for another week, so she’ll be stuck till then.” Donghyuck explains, and Renjun feels his heart exploding with joy at every word. He’s pretty sure he’s grinning shamelessly.

“Why do I know more about your girlfriend than you do? Oh wait. It's because 'she's not your girlfriend.’” Donghyuck does a perfectly exaggerated mimicry of Renjun that reminds him of that one SpongeBob meme. On a normal day, he would’ve wanted to smack his friend for doing this. But in this moment, he is all too happy to be the one being smacked and mocked.

Renjun laughs with relief, then finds his laugh fading a bit. “Do you think she’ll forgive me? For everything I did?”

“I don’t know, man. But you wouldn’t know unless you try.” Donghyuck once again states something that should be obvious.

“How do I try if she’s not picking up my calls? And when she won’t even be here for another week?” Renjun sulks a bit but gets smacked in the head again.

“Dude! She literally did everything in the world to help your grandma, and she was in a wholeass different city! She did that all for you! I’m sure you can figure out a simple apology.” Donghyuck has his arms crossed and is now seriously looking agitated with him and it makes Renjun smile.

“She really did that for me?” Renjun asks and he doesn’t even care if he sounds like a cheesy motherfucker. He doesn’t even care he’s being this way in front of Lee Donghyuck who probably won’t let him live it down for the rest of his life.

“Of course she did that for you, you idiot.” Renjun earns another smack at the end of that.

“Does she like me?” Renjun asks like a stupid, hopeful teenage boy.

Donghyuck pretends to gag and moves away in disgust. But then he sees Renjun’s expression and lets out a long, irritated exhale. “Of course she likes you, you dumb fuck.” Renjun gets hit in the head, “Why would she do all of this if she didn’t like you?” Renjun gets another smack, “Oh Lord, please give me the strength to not commit murder. I am not your strongest soldier…” Donghyuck looks up at the sky and Renjun laughs openly, freely and lightly. He feels as if all the knots in his chest are slowly being undone one by one. So he jumps up and tries to tackle and cuddle Donghyuck but he keeps moving away. The two boys run around in the ground, Renjun chasing Donghyuck, trying to attack him with his love while he complains that his hair smells.

And Renjun accepts all his insults with a newly healed heart. You liked him. Despite everything that he’d done to you, you liked him. You had worried about him and done everything in your power to help his grandma. You had kept tabs on her and made sure she was healing even though you were miles away. You liked him, and you weren’t with a new guy and you liked him.

As he walks back towards the hospital with his arm around his best friend’s shoulders, he decides that if it came to it that he had to beg and grovel for your forgiveness, he would happily spend the rest of his life on his knees. Because you liked him and Renjun was never going to let you go ever again.

True to his word (for maybe the first time in your relationship), Renjun spends the rest of the week trying to reach you. Because his apology tour wouldn’t be complete without his most important stop--you.

He calls you so many times; but each time, he only gets to hear the dial tone and the mechanical voice telling him that the user is unreachable at the moment. You never pick up.

But his mind and his spirit is fueled by Donghyuck’s advice, and this time, the advice is a lot more sound and a lot less exploitative. So, Renjun doesn’t give up because he has to make it stick. You had never given up on him. He wasn’t going to give up on you. When he’s sure you won’t pick up his calls, he leaves you a string of messages.

‘Hey, Y/N. I’m trying to call you. Please pick up?’

‘I know you have every right to be mad at me, but I just need a chance to apologize.’

‘I’m seriously the biggest idiot in the world, but I need to tell you that in person.’

‘Okay, I’m coming to you.’

‘Turns out I can’t just negotiate with the police to let me cross the city lines to get to the girl I like.’

‘Y/N, please…’

‘I’m the world’s sorriest and the most embarrassed motherfucker and I need to hear your voice to tell you that.’

‘I am Berry-Berry sorry, and I’m just asking for one chance to get to talk to you.

‘I’m not going to stop, you know?’

He has to admit that his patience is wearing thin. Because he’s trying every method and none of it is working; and also because his pride had never allowed him to beg and grovel to anyone before. It’s a humbling experience, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel burdened by it. This was for you. The girl who had done everything in her power to make him fall. The girl who had given him more love and kindness than anyone else in the world had. The girl who had taken his troubles and worries as her own. So, of course, he had to do everything in his power to earn your forgiveness.

But as he’s sitting in his room, trying to call you for what he’s sure is the twentieth time that day, he hears that your phone has been powered off. For a moment, Renjun feels immensely dispirited. Maybe he had lost you for good. Maybe you never wanted to hear from him ever again. Maybe this is what he deserved.

But in the next moment, Renjun stops himself. No. He wasn’t going to let his mind spiral that way again. He had to think with a good, clear mind. He couldn’t sit around and sulk without knowing he had explored all possible options. He needed to get creative and for that, he needed to think.

He could certainly wait it out till the week was over and when you’d be back. But he wanted to spend each passing minute letting you know that he was trying. So, that wasn’t an option.

Maybe he could look at the map and find some loopholes and secret passageways across the city. Surely, some of them had to be unmanned so he could break the lockdown law and get to you? That would certainly be impactful, being locked up in jail as a grand gesture of an apology. But Renjun was no action hero.

Renjun sits and thinks and thinks and thinks till a light bulb finally goes off. Of course. A grand gesture. He yells into his pillow out of excitement and frustration that he hadn’t thought of this before. If one thing had been established during this time, it was the fact that Renjun was a dumb fuck with a penchant for being blind to the obvious.

He gets up bright and early the next morning and rushes to see your friend at her apartment. He sits beside her as her online class starts, away from the camera view and finds his heart filling with the utmost warmth as he sees your window finally appear on the screen. Even in the tiny box, you looked so freaking beautiful that for a minute, Renjun stops and stares as butterflies take over his belly. But he taps his cheek to get himself to focus. He was here on a mission.

He waits for the class to begin before he slides himself into view next to your friend and types out a message on the chat that had taken him all night to prepare. He hits ‘Send to Everyone’ and waits.

And thankfully, the professor--miraculously the same professor who had done this the very first time all that time ago--stops to read it out,

“This might be a long shot, but Y/N L/N, do you think you can find it in your heart to give me another chance?” he begins, squinting his eyes slightly in confusion as he reads on, then smiling as realization hits. “Well, that’s certainly not a question from Ms. Kim Minjeong, I can tell you that.” he jokes and waits because as it had before, this has piqued the students’ interest.

Renjun watches as your pretty eyes widen. He watches them skirt across your screen, seemingly looking for the cause of the commotion. He watches the moment of realization hitting your pretty face. And he waits.

“Well, Ms. Y/N L/N, are you going to put the young man out of his misery?” the professor jokes kindly and Renjun thinks he might die from the anticipation.

And then, he watches as you move to unmute yourself.

“Yeah, I guess I could give him another chance,” you say nonchalantly which earns you a round of applause and hoots from all other windows. Because college students will always love dramatic antics.

The professor calls the class back to attention and Renjun sits back in his chair, grinning like an idiot because the girl he had fallen for had given him another chance.

#renjun fic #renjun angst #renjun fluff #kpopscape #ficscafe #neowritingsnet #dreamwritersnet #huang renjun #renjun #nct dream #nct fic #nct dream fic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct college au #renjun x reader #we met in online class

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babytaes · 3 years

Text

afterglow

➳ summary: You, too, lived in a colorless world, trying to connect with it. How long would you have to wait for that one to brighten it up and let you see the real world?

❥ pairing: wonwoo x female reader

❥ genre: angst, fluff, kinda soulmate au.....?

❥ word count: 7k (sorry, mans is my bias and I had to ;)

❥ warning: mentions of death.

➳ part of the song series

↳ Imagine a world like that,

We go like up 'til I'm 'sleep on your chest

Love how my face fits so good in your neck

You had a twin brother who was everything to you. Everything was always you two, from the endless amounts of laughter to the sneaky efforts to take Christmas cookies early in the morning.

With him, everything seems to be so colorful; in your lifetime, everyone was given a companion who may be a friend, sibling, or lover. It was simply something that you treasured. As a result, the alternatives were numerous.

You had no idea how much his life meant to you. He was your second half, and now you'd been split in half, with one gone and the other remaining.

Months passed, and your relationship with him became increasingly dimmer and dimmer. The brilliant hues faded in and out, with black and white patches becoming more prominent.

That awful day, unfortunately, was the last time you saw color. His light had faded from the world, and all that was left was black and white.

With him gone, your entire life seemed pointless, even your day-to-day existence. No splash of color to brighten things up.

“Y/N, I'll never forget you, big sister. Thank you for the enjoyable and considerate memories, and don't let this stunt your growth, please do that for me. As the beeper went off, he began to cough incessantly.

“Helpppp anyone.” As your parents draw you back into their arms, you hear many doctors rush into the room.

There was nothing they could do; his hue had vanished from this world. When you opened your tear-streaked eyes and examined your hands, you noticed that the formerly vivid cream palms had turned gray.

As if all colors were abruptly bleached out of the world, revealing a universe of whiteness—the rainbow, flowers, trees, and art, everything freshly bleached and pearled. The last vestige of color had vanished from your life, and you had been broken since then, heartbroken over the loss of your dearest friend.

“Y/n, hey you're good, we could use your help.” As you glanced to the side, you noticed that one of your employees had just spilled some water from the mop bucket.

As you approach their side, you assist them in mopping up the mess while sweeping aimlessly across the floor, making sure to get every spot. Due to your new life of no color it reflected on your life emotionally.

As the days passed, you became increasingly depressed and unmotivated. There wasn't a single day when you didn't feel mopey or lonely. It wasn't like anyone could help me; it was just the challenge of living a life without color.

Although you sincerely desired to overcome this phase of your life and simply find the right person to fill that void, life did not work in your favor at the time. Everyone around you seemed to be looking for or had already found their "person."

All you wanted was to find the person who could restore your hope and love, which had been taken away when your brother died. Your parents did everything they could to assist you, including setting you up on strange and ineffective dates that just added to your unhappiness.

Nobody could replace that color that your brother provided for you, or maybe someone could?

"I'm off," you remarked as you pulled off your apron and clocked out in the back. As you stepped out the door, you heard a flurry of goodbyes before closing it behind you.

The world never shifted when the clock struck five.

As you strolled down the crowded streets, the sky before and above you remained grey, never letting up that cloak of shade. A melodious music gradually pours into your ears as you go down the bustling sidewalk.

You follow the dazzling yet tranquil sound of the guitar aimlessly as you imagine music notes flying through the fall air. You cautiously open your tired eyes and spot the crowd to figure out where these tunes are coming from.

Looking up, you spotted a swarm encircling a male, but you couldn't tell who it was. However, it was the music that drew you in; you'd heard that melody before. Even if you weren't musically inclined, you could hear that tune anywhere.

It was his, the one he wrote for you.

You dashed outside to see your brother strumming a tune on the grass with his guitar. Your brother possessed a talent for music. It is a condition that many people are born with, and you were fortunate that your brother was one of them.

He didn't go a day without making up or humming something he'd learned. It was frustrating to hear it every day, but it was still lovely to witness his enthusiasm for it.

“Hey, what are you cooking up this time?” As he began to strum the guitar, he turned around and grinned at you. You couldn't understand what he was mumbling, but it sounded lovely as his fingers casually slid across the strings.

“I don't have the lyrics yet, but I'm sure they'll come. You laughed and nudged his shoulder.

“Just don’t go play at 3 in the morning. Okay?”

“It's not my fault that's typically when the inspiration comes,” he grumbled as he rolled his eyes.

As you raced away from him, you swiftly took his guitar, saying, "Well, I guess that inspiration will have to wait." He leapt from his seat and dashed towards you, yelling your name.

You had no idea that would be his final song; you regret not listening to the finished product; you never knew if he finished it. However, when you got closer to the enticing sound, you observed a young man strumming a guitar, and your ears perked up.

A slender man with long fingers and a quirky side smile, perhaps a musician, delicately touched a golden acoustic guitar, playing her ever so elegantly. You stand there, enthralled by the song, as his hands strum and tug the steel strings of the guitar. You take a cautious step closer to him in order to get a better look.

Allowing the music to take control of your body, you take a deep breath and allow an ounce of hope to creep in. From miles away, the formerly lovely and alive girl could be seen racing to you as you opened your arms to her.

You tried desperately to reach her before she vanished into thin air. The glint had disappeared. As you slowly open your eyes, you notice the man stop playing and gazes up at the audience.

As a smile crept across your face, the edges of your lips began to curl up. You'd forgotten what a smile looked like; you hadn't seen one in a long time, and it just felt natural. Even though he was gone, you could sense his presence. As you began to back away from the mob, tears began to flow freely from your eyes.

As you faded from his view and moved away from the crowd, the boy cast a peek at you. You swear you saw a glimpse of color rushing through your orbs, even if it was just for a split second. You couldn't tell if this was a joke or a new experience for you because you were more terrified than excited.

Could you trust that vision? Would they leave your life like he once did or would they stay? (IT)

Although you wanted to stay and figure it out you had somewhere to be and you didn’t want anyone to waste that special time.

(1 hour later)

Opening the rusted gate and looking at the wrought iron fences sends shivers down your spine as you are whisked back to that tragic day.

As you headed towards the pit, a crack formed in your heart. As they lowered his casket into the black abyss, the steady steps of feet carried it there. Countless shadowy figures form a procession, speaking in unison to pay their respects to the one you cherish. Your inner essence is corrupted by despair, and your heart bleeds like a river inside. Nothing could ever make you feel better.

As they began to fill the hole with dirt, tears welled up in your eyes, prompting you to lower your head. He didn't want you to be sad; he knew his time was coming to an end, yet he felt so safe in his final days.

He wasn't going to abandon you; he'd promised you that he'd left you something to aid you along the path. Even if that were the case, you never discovered it after four years. You rummaged through his room and tore it apart.

You quickly recognized that he was either joking or that the drug had taken effect in his brain and he was talking gibberish. In any case, you made a pledge to visit his grave every day from that day forward to keep him company and to keep yourself sane.

---

Clutching onto your bag, the leaves crunched beneath your feet as you peered about. You see specks of people strewn throughout the cemetery as you hear some speak in low whispers. It didn't take you long to find his gravestone.

You noticed the dead flowers drooping over as you took them out of their vase beside the tomb. Replacing them always brought joy to your heart as the sight of a fresh bouquet of flowers brightened the somber ambiance, which contrasted with the mold-infested tomb.

Taking out your cleaning supplies and speaker, you start working on his tomb while listening to his favorite music. As you hummed along with the song, your soft-bristle brush softly scrubbed the headstone in an orbital motion from bottom to top, carefully avoiding the fissures.

As you finished the soap, you began to rinse the stone as dirt and debris began to fall off the tomb. Although you couldn't determine if everything was off, you could plainly see the phrases and symbols, which was a good hint to stop cleaning everything off.

You wanted to do more for him and not leave any dirt on the surface. But because everything was gray, you couldn't tell, which made you sulk as you put down your brush. As you check the clock on your phone, you exhale a sigh of relief.

7:23p.m

Looking around, you noticed the stragglers had dispersed, leaving you alone as you gazed up at the sky.

“I hope the sunset looks beautiful today, I do miss it.”

The late evening sunset was the one thing you missed more than your brother; you had always admired how everything just flowed and fit together in the evening sky. It's almost as if someone began painting and simply let their hand float through the air.

As you turned to face his tomb, another smile appeared on your face, prompting you to go into your bag for something. As you placed down a cup for you and him, you chuckled at the bottle revealed beneath the sky.

“Lucas, here's to another day. It's been difficult in recent years, but today was a good day. I sensed your presence through the music of some random person; it was strange, but I'm glad I was there to see it. So thank you,” you say, raising your shot glass in the air and taking a sip.

As you heard a voice, you wiped a stray tear from your face.

“I'm sorry for bothering you.”

“Shit, what the hell,” you cursed the dark figure, startled and terrified. Who is there? As you squint your eyes at him, a male emerges from the shadows.

It's him.

----

You cough as you stand up and face the nameless man, he extends his hand as his glasses slide down his narrow nose, “Hi I’m Wonwoo.”

You take his hand in yours and shake it slowly, his grip firm until you let go.

“Hi..wonwoo? “I'm Y/n.” As the boy grinned at you, your voice was barely audible.

He takes a careful step alongside you and sits down close to your brother's grave, placing a case beside him. As you enlarged your eyes and sat down next to him, still observing him, the atmosphere felt reassuring but strange.

“I apologize for startling you; I didn't know that you were there. I’m not sure if your brother mentioned me but I was his friend, we used to write songs together.” As he turned to face you, you noticed the tall man attempting to cross his legs.

You shook your head as you began to gather your belongings, unsure of who this man was. For all you knew, he may be lying to you, so you needed to get out of there as soon as possible. You rose up and began walking away after securing the zipper on your backpack.

“Wait, you don’t have to leave. I can come back another time. I am truly sorry if I interrupted anything."

“No, it's fine,” you say with a shake of your head and outstretched hands.

“Are you sure?”

You walk away again, nodding your head as you hear his voice and a familiar tune.

You came to a halt in your tracks as you slowly turned around to face the boy after hearing a faint melody. As your ears perked up, you heard a low voice.

‘I stand still before you before me. I’m okay, not okay..” The lyrics faded out as you started to find your bearings again as you made your way out of the cemetery. As you stepped toward the road, you strapped your bag on, making sure you had everything you needed.

A girl out on a walk is something you can see every day, yet you were unique. You walked as if you and the road had reached an agreement, as if the concrete was more than eager to support your feet.

The road understood you.

*Ping*

The light of your phone lit up as you clicked on the message.

Mom: Hey sweetie, I dropped off some food at your apartment and did some tidying up. Get home safety.

You: Thanks mom.

Her message brought back memories of days when you and her would cook together and simply bond over the end result. You missed it. Because you live in different places, you don't get to see your parents very frequently, yet they always made time for you.

I wish you could do the same; home is just too much for you to stomach, and you'd rather avoid it.

You reach the corner street after a few more steps, ready to begin your one-mile trek home. As you look back after exhaling a sigh, you hear rumbling on your feet. An automobile approached you, its bright headlights blazing directly at you.

You shifted to the side, squinting your eyes at the sight, and wonwoo greeted you again before you realized it. He grinned at you with his dazzling whites as he bent his head down.

what is with this guy?

Hey, hop in, I'll give you a ride. It's becoming late, and I don't want you walking through here.” As you took a step back, wary of the stranger, he moved his hand closer to you.

“Um.. No-no I’m okay. However, thank you.” As you heard his engine trailing behind you, you began to walk faster. He followed you for a few seconds longer before you came to a complete halt and stared at him.

Through the windshield, you could see him smirk as he waved his hand to you.

“It'll be a lot faster, and if you're worried I'll kidnap you or anything, don't fret. I'm allergic to cats, and I'm a cat person myself. As a result, I assure you that I will not harm you. I just wanted to help a friend.” You moved over to his car, smiled a little, and hopped in, securing yourself with your seatbelt.

“If you do anything I have some bleach and I’m not afraid to use it,” he chuckled at you as he started the car and proceeded to exit the cemetery.

“You’re funny.”

As you gave wonwoo your address he proceeded to drive out of the rural neighborhood as you put your head on the window. You didn't realize it at the time, but you could feel his penetrating glances.

The car was quiet as the low sounds of music vibrated through the car. When you weren't driving, car journeys were the best since they enabled your mind to fantasize and paint over the enormous landscape you were seeing. That haven you built in your imagination calms you and makes you feel protected. The place where you may get away from reality.

As soon as your eyes close for the night, you hear him humming a familiar tune. Rather than remaining silent, you begin a conversation with him, inquiring as to how he learned the song.

“So how did you meet Lucas?” As he laughed, he cast a peek at you.

“Well, I met him at a college party a long time ago and discovered he makes music, so we used to meet up at a friend's studio and just create.” You lightly chuckled as a tear fell down your face as you nodded your head.

It was good to hear other people talk about your other half; it was almost as if he was there with you right now.

You were worried when he gave you brief glances since his eyes were off the road, but as he spoke, you felt protected because he spoke highly of your brother.

“Well, I'm not sure if he mentioned you, but the last song we were working on was one he wrote for you, and he said it was a gift.” As you turned to face him after hearing that final statement, your eyes widened.

“He—he said those exact words, a gift?”

As he rounded the corner and approached your apartment complex building, he shook his head. You could see his shoulder resting on the window sill as he put the car in park.

You hesitantly walk out of the car, stuttering as you gather your belongings, and turn to face him.

“Thank you for the ride; did Lucas mention anything else about the song?” “He wasn't quite finished with it, but he did give me and my other friend some crucial stuff to get it done,” he said as you pressed your face closer to the window.

Your heart began to race as you realized that things were beginning to turn around for you; perhaps this wonwoo boy was destined to be in your life. Lucas' way of demonstrating that he took great care of you.

“Would you like to work on it together sometime?”

Inside, it felt as if the creatures were finally waking up from their rehabilitation and making their way into the real world. Even if it took a while, this new form of relief made you feel alive again. You were adamant about working more to reclaim your color.

In some way, wonwoo was the key to it all.

“Yes, a hundred times yes,” you answered, smiling like a kid in a candy store as you handed him your phone. “Just let me know when you're free.”

Wonwoo returned your phone to you, which you joyfully accepted and placed in your pocket. As you walked to your door, you waved your hand at him and cried out to him one final time.

“Thank you”

“For what?” As you entered the flat and locked the door behind you, you waved your hand at him. You let out a sigh and shake your head as you slid down to the floor.

“What a day”

---

(4 weeks later)

It seemed like you and wonwoo had entered a very unique connection in the last few weeks. He made every effort not to cross any boundaries, both physically and emotionally. Regardless of the fact that you were his closest friend's sister, he was always respectful to you.

Even if that is what he sees from his perspective, you felt more alive when you were with him. Although you could still see gray and couldn't bask in all of his glory, it gave you hope that one day, whenever that time came, you'd be able to see him and everything else.

That was something you lacked previously: hope. Everyone around you including your parents could see a significant change in your life.

“Hey, honey, how's it going at work?” Before taking your purse, your mother kissed your cheek and opened the door for you.

As you met her at your old house, a smile emerged on your face. It was your first visit home in a while, and seeing you there brought joy to their hearts, despite the difficult years you've had.

“Everything has been going well, and I just wanted to drop by and see how you're doing. I miss seeing you and dad.”

“Is that my beautiful daughter, am I seeing things right?” your father exclaimed as he emerged from the back. As a tear trickled down your cheek, you watched as he raced over to you and hugged you.

As he stared at your face and admired it, the hue in front of you remained gray.

“Such lovely brown eyes," It pained your soul that you couldn't remember what they looked like since gray dulled everything and made you forget.

“Thank you, dad, but instead of fawning me, let's play some games. Just because life is bleak doesn't mean I can't be your ass at Monopoly.”

Your mother, gasping at your remark, watched from the back, her eyes welling up with tears as she marveled at a sight she hadn't seen in a long time.

“Moooom, don't start sobbing or dad will start crying,” you said as you turned around.

She comes over to your side and wraps you and your father in a hug, sandwiching you between them. It felt good because you were missing these times with your folks. You couldn't stay at home when your brother died; you had to leave and get away. Everything was just too much for you as things started to remind you of him.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

“I'm really proud of you for coming here and having the confidence to do so. I understand how difficult it must be for you, but thank you.” Through the loud sniffles between you all, you started to feel warm as you wiped your tears.

“All right, no more crying; let's get down to business.” You dashed over to the couch and snatched up Monopoly from the board game box, motioning for them to join you. They chuckled as you began to pull everything out as they made their way over.

As loud yells and laughter echoed out throughout the home, the night was fresh and enjoyable. There were times when you were terrified you'd lose, but you couldn't let your champion status lapse.

Your mother said, "Noo, you're cheating."

“No, I'm not; there's a house there, and you need to pay up or I'll put you in jail.” Between the two, your father snickers and keeps his mouth shut. He was well aware of the rules.

“All right, but that wasn't there before.”

With a chuckle, you shook your head and held out your hand, saying, "excuses excuses."

As you turned off your alarm, it rang at 8:00 p.m. You wouldn't have realized the difference between night and day if it hadn't been for alarm clocks. You jumped up in triumph after placing one more piece on the board.

“And that's why I remain Monopoly's ruler.”

You witnessed your parents give up as they lifted their hands in surrender. They both remark, "Fine, you win," as they begin to clean up the mess. Taking the stray cups and bowls from the tables you set them in the sink as you turned to watch your parents.

It's been a long time since you've been back here, and you've certainly missed the atmosphere. Lucas wouldn't want me to miss out on this opportunity.

“Why don't I come on weekends and bring back board game nights?” As your parents turned back, you uttered, "Next time, I'll bring a friend."

“Oh, it would be wonderful; the more the better.”

As you walked back over to them, you hugged them as they kissed your head.

“You go, we'll take care of this; the drive back is long,” your father remarked as he took your bag and handed it to you.

“Thank you guys, and I love you and the night we just had.” As you approached the door, you waved goodbye before closing it.

“No thank you, love,” your mother said as she and your father watched you leave the home and get into your car.

After one last look at the house, you back out of the driveway and go down the street, looking forward to the day ahead.

Studio day!

You yawn as your body startles you up after taking a deep breath of fresh air. As you slowly open your eyes and look out the window, you breathe a sigh of relief. Something felt different. The chirping of the birds outside made you feel cheerful, not sad.

As your vision remained a little lighter, you began to blink your eyes faster. It wasn't your typical gray morning, and you thought it was growing lighter. The gray was gradually dissipating. You grinned as you considered your color returning.

What prompted this?

It didn't matter because today was dedicated to finishing your song; you, wonwoo, and his friend Mingyu had completed all but the title. You stretch one more time before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When you get to the mirror, you take a look at yourself. The person in front of you had radically transformed; she had forgotten about her flaws and insecurities, and her heart now held more love. This woman didn't pick apart everything that was wrong with her; instead, she supported herself.

She was unrecognizable, and the old girl in the mirror was finally slipping away. You began to smile more frequently and laugh a little more, and the air around you became warmer rather than frigid. Someone's love had seeped into her heart and begun to unfreeze its hardness.

And that person was wonwoo, which you didn't realize until you looked in the mirror. If you've observed it, chances are that others have as well. And you were grateful for his help in getting you out of that gloomy situation. You were able to regain your trust and begin letting people in again, which made you pleased.

Lucas would be incredibly proud of you, and you didn't want to disappoint him again. You intended to honor his memory and keep him alive in your heart, rather than allowing the past to plague you and prevent you from living your life.

He would have wanted that.

As you stepped inside, you turned on the shower and stripped off your clothing. You had to find a method to repay wonwoo for his compassion. You would not have gotten this far without him and his musical gift, and you were grateful for him.

"I could take him to our place," you offer as you turn off the water and grab a towel from the shower.

“Yeah he would like that.”

----

Work seemed to fly by as your mind raced at a hundred miles per hour. You had everything planned out and had recruited the support of your parents to help you set up.

Your manager tapped your shoulder and asked, "Hey y/n, you okay?" As you dropped the pencil, you flinched.

“Oh sorry, just spacing out.” He shook his head as he spoke out, “For the rest of your shift you can take off if you want, we’re going to close earlier than usual. If you're leaving, clean out the coffee machine and be on your way.”

You enlarged your eyes as your jaw dropped, and you raced into his arms, squeezing him tightly. Your boss chuckled awkwardly as he gently pushed you away from him. For some reason, everything seemed to be working in your favor today. As you rush to get ready, you begin working on the machine, your smile never leaving your face.

You sped to the back room, clocking out and placing your apron into your locker, as you were done in no time. As you walked to the front, you waved goodbye to your manager before heading to your car in the parking area.

“What's the matter with her? That's the first time I've ever seen her that happy. Hmm”

And with that you were on your way to your parents house as you sent a quick text to wonwoo. As you grinned as you placed your phone in the dash holder, you came to a stop light.

You: Hey cancel today's session, I have a place to go to. It may also provide us with better title recommendations. You down??

Wonwoo:) Yes, that sounds excellent; the studio can become claustrophobic. Send me the address and a time frame for my arrival.

You: *address name*. Bring your guitar and meet there in 2 hours.

Wonwoo:) Oh okay. Can’t wait to see you there!

(read 5:45 p.m.)

Even though you weren’t nervous you wanted everything to be special, wonwoo deserved it for all that he has done for you in the past weeks.

You let yourself go as you blast songs down the road, pressing play on your playlist. You didn't notice it at first, but the color was gently sneaking in as you drove around. As creams and beige colors drifted in and out, the outsides of your eyes began to lift.

As you turned off the headlights and opened the door, it didn't take long for you to arrive at your destination. You smiled as you got your belongings from the car and made your way up the hill, finding your parents already set up.

You drop your belongings on the blanket and walk up to hug them, saying, "Hey guys." As they begin to chat with you, they embrace you in a friendly hug.

“So we set up all of the essential elements, such as lighting, a seating area, and refreshments in the cooler and basket.” As she began to indicate the various components, your mother explained. As she brought you around the hill to the tree, she took your hand in hers.

“You remember when you and Lucas did this?” You laugh as you remember that day as you place your palm on the antique carving.

-- “Noo I'd like to go first; you always go first.” You sighed as Lucas took up the knife and began carving his name into the tree.

“You better not cry and tell mom,” he remarked, turning to face you and seeing your glum demeanor. As you passed past him, you stood up straighter, rolling your eyes at him and snatching the knife from his grip.

“I'm not a baby like you,” you say. As he huffed and hurried toward mom, you heard him scoff.

“Mommmm y/n referring to me as a baby. And I'm not one of them. You stood there watching as he stomped his foot and landed on Mom's lap. Your father chuckles, rubbing his back and shaking his head at his wife.

As you return to the blanket, you cross your arms and say, "Well, then, quit acting like one."

That erupted in an outburst as he started to whine on mommy lap.

He did, in fact, act like a baby. Wiping a tear from your eyes as you chuckle, you hold your mother closer as you kiss her on the forehead.

“Hey we have an hour left before wonwoo get here, I'm going to head to the house to clean up. If he arrives early, keep him entertained.” As she watches you descend the hill, your mother shakes her head.

As you pull out of the parking lot, you put your foot down on the accelerator and drive over to your parents' house.

(45 minutes later)

Wonwoo approaches the destination, looking out the windshield as he spots some lights on the hill. As he steps out of the automobile, he notices two people moving around. He smiles as he collects his guitar from the rear and walks up the hill, noting the serene atmosphere.

“Those should go over by the tree and make sure they don't fall.” Wonwoo enters the place, his eyes widening. Fluorescent bulbs fanned out along the tops of the trees, each with a different picture on it, surrounding him.

As he looks down, he notices a blanket with a speaker playing music and the champagne.

Your parents finally turn around, gasping, when your mother rushes over to welcome him, saying, "Forgive us, we didn't hear anything, you must be wonwoo." That's y/n father over there, and I'm y/n mother.” As she introduces you to your father, she smiles and gives you a motherly look.

On this magnificent evening, only a few minutes had passed when you approached the hill once more. You take a brief glance in the mirror before applying some Chapstick. Rubbing it in you open the door as you look up on the hill, you hear conversations as you panic up the hill.

“So this is y/n, she was quite the messy twin when she was a baby-”

“What are you doing, Mom?” You walk over to her, ashamed, and place yourself between you and wonwoo, speaking quietly to her.

“I said to entertain him not embarrass me.”

“Oh, you're overthinking things; did you know he's friends with Lucas?” You chuckle as you grab your father and mother and begin bickering as you force them out of the location. As they descend the slope, they wave goodbye to you and wonwoo.

Taking one look at him, you notice his amusing state; he was cheesing so hard that his rosy cheeks were visible.

“Sorry about them.”

“It's fine; all parents do it.” They simply adore you.” You cross your legs and shake your head as you sit on the blanket, passing him a wine cup.

“To another wonderful day and a wonderful friendship.” Wonwoo takes out the champagne from the cooler as he opens it and sprays the excess in front of you.

“Ahh, you're spilling it” As you giggle at his action, the extra juice pours on your face. You reach for a napkin to wipe the wetness off your face as he takes one in front of you.

“Here, let me take care of it.” He leans in closer as he wipes the liquid from your face before resuming his seat. As your stomach begins to become a #1 gymnast, that simple action sends you spiraling.

“Th-thanks”

He smiles as he pours you a drink for both of you, and as he does so, you grab his guitar box and pry it open, admiring the golden beauty inside. Picking it up, you begin strumming a few chords of the nameless song while moving your head to the beat.

“Wow, you're actually pretty good.”

“I did have a good teacher, Lucas taught me a few things, but I only recall a few chords, so it may become irritating after a while.”

Wonwoo hands you the glass as you take it in your hand, and as you take a sip of the bubbly drink, you hand him the guitar.

As you take another sip, your spirits lift as you stare out at the scenery in front of you. You hear wonwoo begin to play the tune while you stare off towards the colorless world.

“Ruinous imagination consumes me. Makes me dream sweeter dreams, I close my eyes but thoughts of you. Bring noisy night, to you & me, real and dreamy.”

You sway back and forth as his voice soothes your body, his palm brushing over the guitar while his eyelids close, taking in the lyrics.

As you look up at him, you say, "Thank you." It's unavoidable, but tears stream down your face with no attempt to wipe them away.

“Th-thank you foreverythingyouhave-“ you say quickly and brokenly.

“Hey hey, calm down, I can't understand what you're saying,” he says as he scoots over to you and pats your shoulder. You both laugh as you start over, this time with more poise.

“I wanted to express my gratitude to you for genuinely improving my life. You probably don't know, but my relationship with Lucas was incredible; we were never apart, and when he passed, I couldn't live without him. I've struck rock bottom a few times and done some unfathomable things that I'm ashamed of, and I'm sincerely grateful that I've survived another day.”

Wonwoo drew you into a hug and caressed your back as he ceased patting your shoulder. As you sob into his shoulder, the tears begin to flow again.

“Sorry for interrupting, but it seemed like you needed one,” he says as you continue, releasing leave of you.

“To put it simply, you have brought me so much joy and optimism that I am overwhelmed. It's not the same without Lucas, but I'm grateful you entered my life at this point. So thank you; I don't know how to express my gratitude.”

You come to a halt as he looks at you through his round spectacles, and as you become concerned, you begin to look down.

“Sorry if I just spewed all that out.”

“No, it's fine.” I truly appreciate it, and I'm glad I was able to restore a sense of hope in your life. I may not be Lucas, but I will do my best to pay tribute to his memory.

You smile as you feel a wave of self-assurance and an overpowering sensation of bravery wash over you.

When you bring wonwoo closer to you and kiss him on the lips, everything inside of you turns on, and your body begins to feel alive again, exactly like it did before.

“I'm sorry I should have asked you first-“ You release him and lean back as you watch him.

He silenced your words with his lips as his hands wrapped around your neck.

Everything comes rushing back to you in an instant, like a blanket being pulled off of you. As you open your eyes again, you let go of each other. The difference this time is that you can see him.

As he smiled at you, you could see his cheeks flush with scarlet. You can see his silver rings around his slender fingers as his hands slip away from your neck.

You slowly turn around to face the sinking light on the horizon. As if a million scarlet petals have ignited, the sunset blooms on the horizon.

You expected the tears to flow this time as you stood up and walked closer to the cliff's edge. As you stared at the gorgeous view in front of you, you undoubtedly looked a mess.

You collapse to your knees and exclaim, "I can see it!"

Wonwoo approaches you slowly, bending down with you and holding you in his arms.

“See what?”

As you held him again, your snot-filled tear-streaked face turned to his.

“The color has returned, and I can see it now.” As he gasps, he pulls you back.

“Wait, are you serious, what color shirt am I wearing?”

“IT'S GREEN, YOUR SHIRT IS GREEN!!” Wonwoo scoops you up and spins you again in an instant. You lay another kiss on his lips as you chuckle into his lips, unsure of what to do.

The clouds floated into my life, not to bring rain or storms, but to add color to the sunset sky.

He picks up the polaroid camera off the ground and takes a candid shot of you. After he pecked your cheek once more, he smiled as he wanted to remember this special day.

You send wonwoo off to find a knife from the basket as the photo develops. You observe him as he runs around the area like a child, and you smile as the photo develops.

You've probably seen images where the background is blurred and the only thing in focus is the subject of the photograph. That was us. Every other detail became hazy as I concentrated on every facet of him.

You didn't realize how fortunate you were until now; he was the special someone you had wished for eons ago.

Everything felt even better when your color returned, and you knew deep down that everything was going to be well.

It was all because of wonwoo.

Your brother left you a gift, the lovely gift of music, which was seen via wonwoo.

Yes, your brother had been your best friend, and yes, he had left you. But, as you found a great friend, the life he presumably wanted for you had only just begun.

You hoped that with him, you would be able to treasure the love you had just as much as you did while you were together.

“Hey, wonwoo, I have a song title, also follow me.”

As he began heading toward you, he turned around and looked at you. You've both arrived at the same tree that was planted many years ago.

He gives you the knife as you start placing your name under your past self. As he watches you cry, Wonwoo does the same.

*Forever, Y/n, Wonwoo, and Lucas*

As he finishes up, you grab his hand and stroll back to the blanket setup. He takes a seat beside you and wraps his arm over your body.

“So, what are your thoughts?”

“Bittersweet, that's the title,” you said as you turned to face him.

“I love it,” he says as he pulls you closer to him with a nod of his head.

And with that, your brother's memory was carefully preserved, shared, and intended for all to hear.

“Lucas, I'll never forget you.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

➳ Navigate to the Maze

#seventeen #svt #seventeen jeon wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #svt wonwoo #seventeen fics #seventeen writer #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen series #seventeen x reader #soulmate au #wonwoo fluff #seventeen wonwoo #seventeen masterlist #babytaes works

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shoutaaizawas · 4 years

Text

↳ pro!hero bakugou katsuki x reader → safe

summary: you broke up with bakugou a month ago but you’re terrified and he’s the only person you can call tags/warnings: stalker and confrontation with said stalker, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending word count: 2,698 a/n: this is different from what i usually write but i like the way it came out.

Bakugou had been miserable for the past month. It was so stupid, he couldn’t even remember what the fight had been about. Maybe he had been too busy at work, wasn’t making enough time for you, or maybe he had said something rude without thinking. Whatever it was it had gotten out of hand so quickly. He said stuff he didn’t mean and before he knew it he was walking out of your shared apartment. He had been crashing at Kirishima’s apartment for the time being, he refused to get any of his stuff from his place. If he did that it felt like putting a nail in the coffin that was your relationship.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, your name popped up on the screen and he sighed. You were probably calling about getting his stuff, you had texted him before about it. He knew that ignoring you wasn’t the best tactic at getting back together but at this point, he didn’t know what to do. He tossed his phone down and went to the other room to finish doing his laundry.

He hated what happened, he hated being away from you. He couldn’t sleep, he could barely eat and it was starting to catch up to him. He felt sluggish and worn down and it was starting to affect his work. He needed to apologize but every time he wanted to call you he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Bakugou knew he would settle things with you eventually but it would take time. He didn’t want to lose you, you were his everything. You had been with him for so long, always supporting him and comforting him when he needed it but refused it from anyone else. He refused to lose you.

Bakugou would apologize to you, he just didn’t know when.

It had started a few days after Bakugou left, photos on your kitchen counter. At first, you thought Bakugou had been by when you were out and left something. Your heart fluttered in your chest, did he leave some thoughtful apology? You were dying to be back with him again but you couldn’t forgive him until he at least showed he was sorry.

Your heart dropped and froze in fear. They were pictures of you, leaving the house, ordering coffee, at work. There was a note with them. Finally he’s gone, you deserve better. Your hands shook as you held it up looking for any clue who left them but there weren’t any. You had gone to the police but they said there was nothing they could do until there was more evidence.

Maybe it was a sick prank from a friend. No, none of your friends would think that was okay. You prayed it was a one-time thing but a week later there were more. The photos were recent, from the day before. I’ve been watching you for a long time, we haven’t met but we will soon. The note made bile rise in your throat. You thought about calling Bakugou but your pride was still too strong and you couldn’t ask for Kirishima’s help either since you knew he was sheltering Bakugou at the moment. You knew the red-head wouldn't keep the information from him.

Another week and more photos. I love you, I’ll make you so happy. You already could barely sleep without Bakugou but with this fear gripping you, you couldn’t get any now. Every noise in the house, every shadow that moved nearly sent you into a panic attack. The police wouldn’t help, you felt so helpless.

It was dark out as you walked home from work. Your phone rang and you were quick to pick it up hoping it was Bakugou. You would give anything to feel safe in his arms again, to spend the evening watching TV curled up on the couch, to fall asleep on his chest lulled to sleep by the sound of his heart beating.

“It’s time. It’s finally time for us to meet, my love. I can’t wait.” The voice that came through the phone was unfamiliar but you immediately knew it was the man who had been stalking you. Before you could say anything he hung up.

Your heart was pounding out of your chest and you couldn’t breathe. You were terrified, more than you ever had been in your entire life. You called the only person that ever made you feel safe, stubbornness be damned. You knew he was always there for you, that he would protect you from anything even after everything that happened.

Bakugou’s phone rang and rang but there was no answer. You called him over and over but he didn't pick up. Tears began to stream down your face. Was he still so mad at you that he wouldn't answer your call? Or was he indifferent to you? Had he moved on? The thought of him at dinner with another woman denying your calls as you feared for your life sent a sting of pain through your chest. You kept calling as you reached your apartment, locking the door and putting a chair in front of it. If he had a key maybe that would help block it. You kept calling, praying that he would pick up. Hands shaking around your cell phone.

The doorknob turned and your heart stopped, the door opened but was stopped by the chair you had propped against it.

“What do you want?” Bakugou’s tone was harsh as usual.

“K-Katsuki, please oh my god. Help me please.” You sobbed into the phone. Fear and relief flooding through you. You were in danger now more than before but you had finally gotten ahold of Bakugou. “T-There’s a man trying to get into the h-house, he’s been stalking m-me.” You gasp through sobs.

“Let me in, love.” The man's voice comes through the door as it shakes and the chair begins to wiggle loose.

“Barricade the door then find somewhere to hide.” Bakugou is breathing heavy, you can hear his footsteps through the phone and you already know he’s on his way. Kirishima’s apartment isn’t far away but you wonder if Bakugou will be fast enough.

You slide a dresser from entryway in front of the door before darting off to your bedroom and diving to the ground. You crawl underneath the bed, the phone still clutched in your hand. You can hear Bakugou’s explosions, you know that he’s trying to get there as fast as possible. All he can hear are your sobs.

“Are you hidden?” He asks trying to keep his voice calm for you.

“Y-Yeah.” You answer, in the living room you can hear the furniture in front of the door being thrashed around. “I-I think he’s g-going to get in. Katsuki I’m so scared.” You cry. Tears are pouring down your face and terror has enveloped you fully. You wonder if this is the last time you’ll get to speak with the love of your life.

“I’m almost there okay, you’re going to be okay.” He says but you can still hear a tinge of fear in his voice. "Just take deep breaths okay, I won't let him hurt you."

"O-Okay," Your words are shaky but you try to do as he says.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I should be there at home with you. I should be protecting you. I didn’t mean anything I said. I love you so much.” He sounds so sad, so scared. It’s not a tone you hear from him often.

“I’m sorry, I should have said it sooner. Katsuki-”

A crash echoes through the house and you know that he’s inside.

“He’s inside, oh my god. He’s in our house.” You can’t help but cry, trying to keep your voice down.

“Just stay quiet, I’m almost there,” Bakugou begs.

You’re curled up under the bed, one hand clutching your phone to your ear and the other gripping the carpet for dear life. You try to keep your breaths shallow, hold in your sobs but you let a quite whimper out.

“You don’t have to be scared, my love.” The voice is in the room with you.

“Katsuki, I love y-” You whisper into the phone but it's cut off by your scream as you feel the man pull you by your ankle dragging you out.

“No!” Is the last thing you hear Bakugou scream through the phone as it clatters onto the ground.

Bakugou’s heart is pounding out of his chest. He’s almost there, running up the stairs to your floor faster than he’s ever moved before. This was all his fault, if only he had apologized then he would be home keeping her safe. If something happened to her, if she died- There would be no forgiveness for him. He wouldn’t deserve it. Every step he beats himself up more and more. Why hadn’t he just said sorry and gone home? It wasn’t worth their relationship and it wasn’t worth your safety.

He thinks about the ten missed calls he saw on his phone before picking up, he thinks about how scared you must have been thinking that no one would help you. Did you think he abandoned you? That he was ignoring you while you were terrified?

He finally gets to your floor, the door to your apartment is wide open and there's furniture scattered in the entryway. A piercing scream sends shivers down his spine. If he leaves a mark on you he won’t hesitate to kill him.

“Stop struggling, I’m here to help you. You deserve someone who cherishes you.” He hears a man’s voice from their bedroom. As he enters he sees the man shaking you harshly against the wall.

“You bastard, get your filthy hands off of her.” He growls out and he’s tearing him off of you before he realizes that Bakugou had entered.

All Bakugou can see is red as throws him to the ground. In a flash he's on top of him, punch after punch, blood covering his face. He can’t hold back, he can’t stop thinking about what could have happened if he was too late. Images of you harmed in different ways flash through his mind and it pushes him further.

“Katsuki-” Your quiet, broken voice pulls him from his cloud of violence. His attacks stop as he turns to look at you. You're on the floor against the wall, hands around your knees and your shaking so bad. Tears are running down your face non-stop and it breaks his heart more than anything ever has. He’s never seen you so scared in his whole life.

Katsuki can hear help arriving and he knows it’s safe for him to get up, the stalker is out cold on the ground covered in his own blood. He doesn’t deserve any more time from him. Not when the love of his life needs him.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Bakugou’s voice is soft as he gets on the ground with you, his hands reach out gingerly to brush against your shaking arms trying his best to soothe you. “I’m so sorry this is all my fault.”

You reach out grasping onto him like he’s a raft in the middle of the ocean. He envelops you in his arms and you feel a wave of relief rush over you. You’re safe now. Bakugou’s here and you're in his arms. No one can hurt you anymore. His hand smooths the hair down at the back of your head and your breathing begins to calm.

Bakugou had called for backup, they had taken the attacker away and sat you down to ask some questions before they left.

You sat at your dining room table next to Bakugou and it suddenly was so quite. Furniture still laid across the floor, you couldn’t look at the door without thinking of the fear that flooded you.

“Let’s go to a hotel for tonight,” Bakugou says softly and you remember just how perceptive he is. “I’ll grab you a bag of your stuff.” He says before giving you a glass of water. “Just try and relax, I’ll be quick.”

Bakugou doesn’t take long before he returns with two duffel bags and your favorite pillow in hand.

“C’mon baby.” He says taking your hand in his.

The hotel room is nice, far nicer than it needs to be. At the top of the building, you can peer out of floor-to-ceiling windows at the skyline. There’s a lot of space in the room itself decorated with nice furniture.

The bed is big and looks inviting especially with how tired your feeling right now. Bakugou is behind you, his hand running down your arm softly.

“Do you want to take a bath before bed?” He asks and you nod.

Bakugou leads you into the bathroom and starts the water. The tub is large and fancy, nice soaps and shampoos on the edge. He puts some soap in the water, bubbles forming.

“I’ll grab your bedclothes.” He says leaving the room. You strip down and get into the warm water. You close your eyes, sitting there with your knees drawn to your chest. The day is so unreal, it’s almost easy to pretend that you were just here with Bakugou for an anniversary or a trip. But the events of the day edge there way back into your mind.

“Shh,” You hear Bakugou shush you his hand rubbing the back of your neck. You didn’t realize he had returned, and you didn’t realize the tears streaming down your cheeks. He sits on the floor next to the tub, leaning over to press a kiss against your forehead.

He helps you wash your hair and dry off when you’re ready. He’s brought your favorite pair of bedclothes and you change into them. Both of you get ready for bed.

The bed is comfortable as it looks. Getting under the large fluffy covers is comforting. Bakugo slides in beside you. You don’t hesitate to scoot towards him till you’re pressed against his side.

“I can’t go back to our house.” It’s hard to come to terms with and even harder to say. A part of you is scared Bakugou will say that he isn’t coming back to you, that he can take the apartment and you can find someone else to live. You’re tearing up before he can even say anything.

His hand is against your cheek, wiping away the tears there as he draws you to his chest.

“We can look for a new place tomorrow.” He says simply. “That place was starting to feel too small anyway.”

“T-Thank you.” Your words are shaky as you look up at him. He pulls you onto his chest, his hand rubbing your back.

“I’m sorry.” He says. “I’m sorry about what I said to you, I’m sorry for leaving, I’m sorry for not apologizing sooner. I failed you, I promised to protect you no matter what and I let you down.” His voice is hoarse with emotions.

“You saved me Katsuki.” You tell him.

“I should have been there, if I was there he never would have tried anything, and if he did he wouldn’t have gotten past the door.”

“What happened tonight was bad but I feel better knowing that he’s going to be locked away. If this didn’t happen I would have had someone stalking me and I never would have known.” You tell him. The thought of going about your life unknowingly being followed makes you sick.

“I’ll never leave you again. I promise you that. I’ll always be by your side.” He says, pulling you even closer. “I love you so much.” His eyes are pressed closed and you can practically feel the love coming off of him.

“I love you, Katsuki.” You return and your heart flutters at his declarations.

It would take a long time to recover from everything that had happened today but you know that Bakugou will be by your side through it all. That when he holds you in his arms it’s like a shelter from a raging storm.

You know that Bakugou Katsuki will always keep you safe.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #katsuki #bakugo

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.”

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been!

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. - Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #hunger games #thg meta #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #gale hawthorne #my sketches and drawings #thg fanart #catching fire

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youarejesting · 3 years

Text

Sly like a... ? Part 2

[Master list] [Sly Master List] Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have plot in those scenes and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story. Words: 2.1k

Summary: Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

[First] [Next]

It was your dream to convert a large warehouse on the outskirts of town into a home and education center for Hybrids. Somewhere they could learn to be self-sufficient. You would have professors and volunteers, teaching and fundraising, all for the day you could buy another warehouse on the other side of town. You wanted it to become the norm that these Hybrid facilities would build and grow in every city. Allowing the Hybrids to become an independent race no longer looked down upon by society.

You were on the last day of your heat and craving something savory. As it was late your best option was the convenience store that was always open late.

Things were falling into place as you received an email earlier that day confirming that all the items you had requested were acquired. That meant school books, equipment, and more. You were also granted the first loan for the Hybrids, a loan you would receive every term. The board wanted no less than five and no more than ten participants for an adequate examination of results.

You assumed for the program to be officially approved, you would have to show successful results from Hybrids with different backgrounds during this trial. That meant different ages and different upbringings. Wondering if it was worth visiting the adoption agency or perhaps a Hybrid store, it wouldn’t hurt for more variables.

Shaken from your thoughts by a shadowed figure rustling through the garbage, in a dark alley between the antiques and postal office. Your ears picked up the sound easily, feet scuffing to a halt on the pavement catching the Hybrid’s attention. Their eyes searched the dark for any sign of threat before falling upon you, a deep growl resonating on the wind. It was best to not get involved with stray Hybrids, they tended to be more violent. This is what you were doing the program for, to stop Hybrids from ending up homeless and on the streets. To prove that they aren’t dangerous and are capable of learning.

Struck by an idea, if you could get a Hybrid from the street to join the trial program, you could prove they weren’t violent and show that given the opportunity they could all learn and grow into members of society.

“Can I buy you dinner?” You called out, voice cracking from the cold. Your breath puffed out like smoke visible between you both. The night brought you more energy, it made you feel alive.

Cars passed, their headlights illuminating the entire alleyway and reflecting in his eyes a blood-red. He stalked forward, his body moving gracefully but you could see he was hurt, his shirt ripped and there was a strong scent of blood in the breeze. That was a downside to having heightened senses. You tried to control the disgusted look on your face, “I will pay and there is nothing else to it, just sit and have dinner with me, so I don’t look like a woman in her mid to late twenties eating alone at a convenience store”

He looked you up and down, it was then you noticed his features, he was a feline, not a common house cat. No, he was a big predator.

“Do I look like some charity case? Some pathetic creature who needs help from a human?” His words rumbled from his chest in a growl. You wanted to correct him that you weren’t exactly human yourself but decided against it. Stuck somewhere between Hybrid and human you didn’t fit in either category.

“What’s it to you? My reason is my reason, just take the free meal. Hell! Exploit me for a free meal, anything you want, go crazy.” You shrugged, trying desperately to charm him. He seemed to contemplate his choices for a moment before turning to walk away. You scrambled for your wallet and grabbed out twenty dollars, holding it out to him.

“Wait! At least take this; if you don’t want to eat with me, get something warm, and here is my card if ever you need help.”

He eyed the money but didn’t move to take it. Hoping he wouldn’t rip your arm off, you grabbed his hand. You knew it was risky. His fingers were cold, but you didn’t want to linger and make him mad, quickly placing the money on his palm with your business card.

“Have a good night, mister,” He nodded confused about the whole encounter, before shoving his hands in his pockets and leaving. It seemed even if you tried your best, it wouldn’t be enough to persuade him. He was too defensive, the best you could hope for was that he would stay safe in the cold.

What trials and tribulations must you go through to have these Hybrids trust and confide in you? Hopefully, it wouldn’t be this hard to get through to the group of Hybrids you were soon to obtain.

This was going to be a rather difficult experiment and you weren’t sure if it was going to go well but you hoped with every fiber of your being that you would see this through for the sake of the Hybrids.

That night you dreamed about the group of participants being hostile and unresponsive to the program, it did little to soothe your nerves the next morning. When you received an email about the new house. Jimin would have the key and would meet you outside later that day with the other Hybrids. No matter who they were, you were going to make sure they were achieving the best result they could.

The government had registered two Hybrids in your name, their files attached to the confirmation email. The two participants were so contrasting, Hoseok was a deer Hybrid, from a small farming family. The other was a Lion Hybrid by the name of Namjoon. He was from New Zealand and had participated in another government program regarding genius Hybrids.

Altogether, there were four: Namjoon the genius, Hoseok the country bumpkin, Taehyung, and Jimin. You decided to look for possible participants within the Hybrid store, and rehoming center. That would give you a wide variety of variables for the experiment; each would have a different background and would require different tools to help them.

You started at the nearest Hybrid shop. There were several rooms each with an observation window, a photo card, and a brief description of the Hybrid sitting, reading or playing video games inside. It was such a small space, how could they live in these tiny rooms every day until someone adopted them. Reading their descriptions by the windows you analyzed each of them, your attention caught by one playing video games. He had dark ears that stuck out from his dark hair. He seemed fun and you thought it would be easy to connect with him.

Hello, My name is Jungkook, I am twenty-three and I am a fully vaccinated Melanistic Jaguar.

You didn’t bother reading the rest, thinking you would like to learn about him properly, “Sir, I would like to adopt this Hybrid,” You declared, whilst walking towards the counter to begin the paperwork. Once everything was signed the young Jaguar boy was led from his small room. He looked nervous holding a small store backpack filled with all his essential items.

On the drive to the next location, you were the one doing most of the talking, receiving quiet one-word answers and small fidgets. He seemed excited when you finally parked the car, you guessed he was eager to see his new home.

However, as you walked towards the menacing rehoming center, he grew quieter and quieter, slowing to a stop before the entrance. Looking at his feet crying profusely, you realized how this must look. He must have thought he had done something wrong, how could he think you would buy him and rehome him on the same day.

“Jungkook, I am not abandoning you, I am picking up a brother for you to play with.” It took a few moments to console the young man. Wiping his tears and giving him a few pats on the head careful of his ears.

Deciding anyone younger than Jungkook would be too much to handle. “You have to help me find a big brother, someone you think will be really nice and that you like to play with, what do you think? Can you do that for me?”

Jungkook nodded, sniffing and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “Okay, I can do that,”

The inside of the rehoming center smelt like disinfectant, you explained you were looking for another Hybrid and were led to a large room. There were Hybrids of all ages all playing and entertaining themselves with different activities.

It was overwhelming even for you, so you grasped Jungkook’s hand and encouraged him to look around, “Hey, what about ping pong?” You grinned at Jungkook who smiled playing a few rounds with you, the two of you giggling.

“Have I told you I am the ping pong master,” an older Hybrid grinned, he had a striped tail. You handed over the paddle and stood near Jungkook. “Do you want to play a game?”

Jungkook nodded, was this boy unable to say no. Either way, the two were getting along quickly, the older Hybrid was very playful and funny, even as he lost you were holding your sides from the laughter and Jungkook seemed to grow really comfortable with him.

Talking to one of the volunteers she explained that Seokjin was a raccoon hybrid and the oldest in the center. She explained that he often took the younger hybrids under his wing. It was an easy decision to adopt him. While you were filling out the paperwork, Jungkook was telling you all about his match with Seokjin.

“And I got the winning shot,” He grinned, swinging his arm like he was hitting an invisible ping pong ball.

“He seems really fun, would he make a good big brother?” It was cute how he nodded wholeheartedly. “Jungkook why don’t you go tell him that he is coming home with us?”

He grew embarrassed again, his dark ears twitching but followed the volunteer nonetheless. You were quick to finish up the last of the paperwork before the two came back laughing volunteer in tow.

“Unbelie-Bubble” Seokjin said before squeaking in laughter. He had all of his things and like Jungkook was nervous, but he showed it through talking.

You felt good with your selection, there was a Hybrid for every walk of life and socio-economic background. This would be perfect for the trial. They all seemed like lovely young Hybrids and you could already see them forming friendships.

It was on your way out that you saw a familiar face struggling against Hybrid control. “This is your last time, you know what happens to strays.”

“Wait!” You shouted, everyone in the lobby froze turning to look at you, the cold room felt quite warm with all of the attention “He is mine”

They froze looking between you and the hybrid before letting him go curiously. The injured Hybrid staggered over to you, knowing this was his best chance at survival, “why didn’t you tell them my name?” you asked him curiously but he kept his head down.

“This white tiger Hybrid is yours?” The handler spoke in disbelief, practically accusing you of lying. “why is he not microchipped, or registered in our system?”

“I was supposed to register him last week when I got him but I had been busy with work, I would like to properly register him under my name today,” You didn’t break under this man's pressure, you could notice the more he held eye contact the more he seemed to falter himself. “so that you will stop taking him in when he is harmlessly walking the streets”

The man opened his mouth to argue but you blinked up at him, watching him lower his hand.

“I am so sorry miss, we didn't mean to cause you trouble?” It wasn’t exactly odd behavior, you often found your arguments nullifying this way. You liked to think that your self-confident stare was what made people give in.

“Miss we have just noticed some suspicious activity in your account it says you have adopted four Hybrids today,” The woman behind the desk said, “We are legally required to ask your intentions or we can detain the Hybrids from you”

Almost questioning her, you remembered the government was placing two Hybrids in your name; they would be arriving today as well. With a smile you removed a folder from your bag, “I have a grant from the government.” You said brandishing the signed document, “I will be placing these Hybrids in my care”

[First] [Next]

Tags: @simplymemyself @lolsiiike (please make sure you have tagging setting on so you get notified when the story updates)

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‘Follow’ and turn on ‘Notifications’ so you never miss an update

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ahjustroza · 3 years

Note

I saw a hc post abt how Last Legacy love interests react to MC actually going back to Earth,so can I ask some hcs abt this one? I'm curious of what you come up with!!

I actually made the same request to @lucigucci !!

For this ask, I had to play the entire game once again because I couldn't come up with anything. Hope you'll like it!

MC Going Back to Earth Headcanon

Warning: Sad feelings and pain...

Anisa

Before giving in to her emotions she will make sure to not miss anything important for your return to Earth

She'll check with important magical necessaries for the portal

Check if you have everything you would possibly need

If you ate well

Will check twice everything she prepared for you to take with you to remember her

She will also give you the Orlando postcard

It is important to her but also you two shared many memories together talking about Earth looking at the postcard

She knows when you visit Orlando you will remember her

After she is done with everything

The realization of you actually leaving her will hit her HARD

She knew you for only months but fell for you in a way with no return

You became her breath

The meaning, the cause she wanted to live further

The center of her life

Her priority

Her peace

Her shelter, and safe place

If only she could stay in your arms for a little longer...

If only she could find a way to see you again

The smell your scent while she buried her nose to your neck

To your hair...

She misses you always

Even for a couple of minutes without you within her eyesight makes her feel troubled

She misses you to death before even you leave her...

She will use all her strength to not cry in front of you

But the moment you hugged her and kissed her the last time she broke

She never struggled like this

Never felt hurt like this

The devs mentioned that each character will have multiple endings, so I headcanon two different happy endings in this situation

One is being Anisa letting you go while she stays in Astraea

She knows that she might not be able to fit in

You are people of two different worlds

Quite literally

And it shows

Anisa however will never love again after you

She will refuse every potential partner both in her romantic life or in her bed

She will confess her feelings for you and give you her hair ribbon as well as the most painfully mesmerizing kiss...

The other ending being Anisa leaving Astraea with you.

She is half-human and can tell people that her marks on her face are tattoos on Earth

She will see this as an opportunity to start a new life

Without the guilt of who her parents are and what they have done

Without the danger of magical monsters or assassins tracking her all around

She is smart, a quick learner, and curious about Earth

With your support, she can get used to life on Earth and get a job

I am thirsty for Anisa as a workout or martial art trainer

But I can also see her going to college and finish it quicker than expected to work in a school

Counselor Anisa

You two will travel the world together

No matter the lifestyle you live Anisa is happy

She doesn't need a lot of money

All she needs is you

Also another surprise, she doesn't miss Astraea one bit

You are what she calls home now.

Sage

I am a Sage hoe myself but I can't see him leave Astraea with you

He can't fit in to Earth

He has to be free and living on Earth means he has to follow so many rules that he struggles to understand

Also Sage will absolutely refuse to leave Tulsi behind

There are only two people he actually cares about in this world

You and Tulsi

You two are his family and home

He is a family guy

And oh my god does he want to make his family larger secretly

Sage is a character that struggles with emotional confessions

He is also a good liar

So even tho he wants a future with you

If you want children, raise your children together (adopted/surrogacy/biological/a found family...)

Finally settling down and actually live in a home

Sage will experience the feeling of home with you the first time

He never felt safer and not worried about being vulnerable to someone

Having family dinners, family meetings with auntie Tulsi...

Celebrating anniversaries

Getting yourselves in trouble and moving to a different town

Even though he would fight the gods themselves to have this future with you, he will not tell you to stay

He will not say anything at all

He'll watch you and make sure to prepare everything for your return

And to make sure of your security during the process

You will look into his eyes each passing hour, hoping him to say something

Anything

But he will not

He'll only give you his signature soft half-smile with tired eyes

He will drink the entire day before your depart

Spend the whole night with you

Watch you sleep

Memorize your face

Your body

Will listen to your breathing

He will take everything he can get to never forget you

Also, cry too

Silently

Without you noticing

Tears will fall down to the pillow one by one

He wants to scream and tell you to stay but he can't force you to do anything you don't want

Any word out of his mouth might make you change your mind and do the opposite of what you want to do

You have a family too and you have to see them

A life you have to return to...

So if you don't say that you want to stay he will stay silent forever

If you choose to leave, do give him something to remind him of you

A necklace? Your laser pointer? Your foam sword?

He will carry whatever you give him with him

Always

Until the day he dies

Let's say you gave him a necklace, anyone who knew you will feel the pain in Sage when they see him still wearing the necklace after all those years...

He will never love again. It was a one-time thing.

He will not open up to anyone

He will not let anyone see the real Sage the way you did

He might have bed partners but it is not emotional

He is in pain and will either drink or throw himself somewhere to spend the night without thinking anything

But that can only happen if he is too drunk to remember what happened the night before

If you choose to stay, he will feel relieved

Guilty too but mostly relieved

He will build the future he desires with you

But will also look for ways to make you visit Earth and come back

Felix

I don't think Felix can fit in the Earth either

He grew up as the Arcmage's son and spent all his life studying magic

He can't live in a world where magic doesn't exist

He can't live a lifestyle where he will have to learn everything anew

I just think he is too sensitive for our world.

But unlike Sage and Anisa, Felix will ask you to stay

He'll ask you to stay and live a crazy but full of love life with him

He'll promise to take care of you since he is filthy rich

Then admit his fears of losing another lover

If you decide to leave he will feel betrayed and abandoned at first

He'll cry, then disappear for a while, then appear and tell you that you gave him a lot of hope

And disappear once again

He'll get drunk and then cry loudly too...

After Rime, you taught him how to love again

You made him feel safe and supported

Accepted for who he is...

You taught him how to properly love someone

No toxicity

No lies

No rivalry

He only wants to sleep in a bed in your arms around him not wake up for years

The idea of you leaving him hurts like someone stabs a dagger into his heart

He'll start to believe that this is his cruel destiny

To be the one stays while the other leave

He wants to follow you but he knows he can't live with you on Earth

He couldn't even fit in his own house yet...

Once he cooled down he'll admit how important your life back at home to you

And how it is his fault to steal that life away from you by bringing you to Astraea

He will open the portal for you himself

He is not trusting anyone else for this work

Before you leave he will tell you that he loves you and promise to never forget you

Here comes the pain

But he might fall in love again after you

You will always have a different place in his heart and in his memories though!

Felix did try to bring someone he fell for back from death then fall in love with someone else

I just think he will be more flexible with what life brings in front of him

And get even more depressed with time...

If you accept his offer and choose to stay his eyes will see nothing but you from that day and forward

You are officially his spouse now, no ceremony necessary

You will go on the vacation you both need and deserve then get a house to live together

You two will be the scary power couple

People will talk about you two as "the small necromancer and his spouse- yes the spouse. They are the one that fought the Lord of Shadows and the undead Rime. I also heard they got a relic the moment they stepped on Astraea- I KNOW it is crazy..."

Felix will share everything he owns with you, even his thoughts

He is so open to you that he knows you understand him the best

#fictif felix #fictif anisa #fictif sage #fictif last legacy #fictif games #sage last legacy #sage lesath #sage headcanons #felix escellun #last legacy felix #anisa anka #anisa last legacy #anisa headcanons #felix headcanons #last legacy headcanons #some writing

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0littlestwolf0 · 3 years

Text

Straight to Hell Pt. 2

Ship: Percy Jackson x Reader

Warnings: just a bit of crying towards the end.

Requested by: @msmissinghome

Author note: I swear I wanted to put a fight scene at the end, but I just couldn’t shake this thought that if I managed to get out of Tartarus, on my own, and then be hugged by Percy I would cry all my fears out. I’m sorry it took me so long, I tried to find a better ending.

Also @tobios-shawty here’s part two! I hope you like it!

Silence was a funny companion.

It had a way to make you uneasy, to creep inside your skin and force you to destroy it, to scream it away or to laugh your way through it.

Percy thought he would never be a prey to silence, after all, it was always the apocalypse around him, someone was always fighting (him for the most part), chasing, or running.

But right now, deep in the shadows, he couldn’t catch a single noise, he could barely register his grip on the back of Nico’s jacket as he shadow-traveled them.

What was that place supposed to be anyways?

Or, better yet,

How in Hades did Nico manage to find a path through it?

He didn’t know, and it didn’t matter much to him at the moment, his senses, his brain, his entire body was only focused on finding you, on getting you back.

Maybe on another circumstances he would’ve thought about how that same dark landscape would probably make for some really nasty nightmares, and yet, he doubted he would even remember it.

He was just finally adjusting at the darkness when the light came back, dazzling him.

And then Nico was on the floor, barely able to pull himself to his knees and hands, breathing heavily.

Percy took a calculated look around him, his right hand gripping Riptide tightly, he didn’t recognize his surroundings, but as far as he could tell, there were no monsters in sight “What happened? Are we there yet?”

The king of ghosts only replied with a sneer and a roll of his eyes

“What is that supposed to mean?” Percy asked as a sudden, all-too-familiar rage filled him, he couldn’t waste any more time, because what if you made it and he wasn’t there? You would’ve walked through Hell only for him to not comply on his side, not opening the doors on his side.

“Asshole” Nico mumbled “The doors are in Greece” he said as if it explained everything, Percy looked around, and even though the surroundings were new, probably somewhere in Italy, it wasn’t Greece.

“We aren’t in Greece yet” Percy added, the rage filling his every word with venom.

“We were just in Manhattan! Traveling here took almost all of my strength!” Nico yelled, breathing between words, and only in that moment did Percy fully acknowledge him, the bloody nose, panting, even the shaking.

He felt as though he was being stabbed with guilt over and over again, the entirety of his situation made his eyes water, but he forced the tears away rapidly, he didn’t deserve to cry, he scolded himself, besides, that would do nothing to either save you nor help Nico.

“I’m sorry” he apologized wholeheartedly “I’m just-“

“I know, just shut up and let me regain my strength so we can get to her” he cut right through his words

Percy bit his tongue until he felt a metallic taste and nodded, his eyes skipping trough the town they were in until something clicked, a building with very specific windows

“I know this place-“ he whispered to himself, trailing off at the end, there was no way he’d been there, and he didn’t have social media or watch enough TV to recognize it from anywhere.

Nico rolled his eyes again “I said-“ he trailed off looking at the same building “oh”

“Oh?” Percy repeated “You know this place?”

Of course he did, Percy rationalized, he’d probably been there before, but then again, why did Percy felt like he knew it too? Maybe some type of deja vu?

“You don’t?” Was Nico’s answer “She has a photo of this place that she parades with her wherever she goes, you must’ve seen it”

Oh, now the son of the sea understood the sentiment.

“I did, but she never really told me about this place”

Nico scoffed “Well of course she didn’t! She hated being here”

Percy had figured that much, you never talked about your childhood more than strictly necessary, sometimes even going out of your way to drive any conversation away from that topic.

But,

“Why?” He didn’t realized he wondered out loud.

“Her mortal parent, for starters, abandoning her” Percy realized Nico still looked angry, but now the anger wasn’t directed at him “forcing her to raise herself from childhood until she was taken to camp”

Still, it worried him further, that anger he was escaping was directed at one person that should’ve been close to you, someone who you should’ve relied on that abandoned you, pretty much like he thought he was doing by not being there with you already.

Gods he needed you.

But, he’d get you back, and once he did, he’d never let go of you again.

The resolve compressed his heart a little, but he accepted the feeling, from now on, you’d have someone to rely on that would never let you down.

That, he was willing to swear on the Styx.

***********

Had it been entire days or mere hours you just couldn’t tell.

Nothing really changed in Tartarus from the second you fell in, nothing but the multitude of monsters hunting you down.

Trying to track down the first demigod they’d seen since being killed by, most likely, another demigod just like you.

But your resolution never once wavered, you were getting out, one way or another, you hid until you had slaughtered one of them, not quite killing, just creating a gush big enough to sprinkle some ichor in your clothes, enough to change your scent but not so much as to tear through the entirety of the fabric.

Eventually, with a new limp, and a few ugly wounds that would soon enough turn into ugly scars, you got to the door.

A heavy sigh left you, and suddenly you became an anxious mess altogether What if Percy hadn’t made it? What if they finally realized that you didn’t belong with them? That after all you were still just walking anxiety coated on fear and deep rooted issues?

Maybe they’d finally realized that they’d be better off without-

You couldn’t allow yourself to keep thinking like that, you couldn’t give up on yourself because knowing them, they wouldn’t give up on you.

It was Percy Jackson for crying out loud! He wouldn’t give up on anyone! Less of all you.

So, with a burning throat after swallowing your fears and an ever growing tremble on your body did you step on the elevator.

And you waited.

And waited.

The fear was eating you whole when you felt it beginning to move.

You forced yourself to stand up, leaning against a corner for support and taking a hold of your weapon.

Then the doors open and you lunged forward, wanting nothing more than to get as further away from the entrance as you could.

“Whoa!” Exclaimed a voice you knew too well as your blue-green-eyed boy held your face

His eyes were finally letting go of all the tears he managed to contain, denying himself to even blink in case you’d disappear, he knew it was a stupid fear to have, but still, he wouldn’t dare to take the chance.

Suddenly you were pressed against his trembling body, it was a good match, you realized, with the both of you shaking there was a strange sense of stability.

“You’re okay, you’re here” he kept mumbling against your hair, over and over like a mantra or a prayer you couldn’t tell, it took you a moment to realize he was talking to himself.

“I’m out” was all you could say, a broken voice finding a way out of your closed off throat, it was funny how before that moment you’d wholeheartedly believed that your first thought after getting out would’ve been Percy.

It wasn’t.

Your first thought was how incredibly stupid you had been for jumping in the first place, I mean, of course you’d do it again but the matter at hand was that it was a very stupid move from your part.

Going to Tartarus? Where a thousand bloodthirsty monsters (who by the way had been killed by your kin) were? Poisoned air and burning rivers? The odds had been against you from the moment you landed!

By all means you shouldn’t have survived.

But you did, and finally all the tears you had suppressed came to life, Percy held you with unwavering arms as his own legs gave up and the both of you landed on your knees.

He held you as you screamed and yelled between tears, as you sobbed so much he thought you’d have an attack, because you were out of the woods now, all the fear and anger you suppressed could finally come out.

You hit him a few times but that was okay, he only held you tighter as his own sobbing became loud, breaking out all the way from his chest.

At some point in all the crying you felt an extra pair of arms around you, your first instinct made you stiffen until you saw black eyes full of worry, then you began crying again, and so did he.

Because now you were safe.

#heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #nico di angelo

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kate-m-art · 2 years

Text

Okay, just kind of feeling it tonight soooo lore dump for legacy Legend and Maggie, and a bit of brainstorming how fairies work in their world

Okay so starting out i think great fairies gain power through connection with other life. They tend to isolate and stay away from the world to stay safe and be able to bless people for centuries, but i wanna say in exchange they often weaken without contact from those outside their haven. I've seen the hc before and love it that rupees, an object passed from person to person to person, hold the energy of many people with many stories and are a way for the fairies to strengthen their power.

It seems that although many Hylians are kind and there are some safe places near them, the vast majority of fairies hide. Are they shy or is it fear? I honestly can't see the world at large, filled with thieves and monsters, being kind to a creature of light with the inherent ability to heal.

Fairies seem to be a being created of pure light magic from the goddesses who are meant to fill the world with their blessings. They can heal most ailments caused by natural means, but magical impairments are harder to fix. A normal fairy can't do much for those, especially if the ailment is caused by dark magic. A great fairy might be able to ease the ailment, but it takes a tremendous effort and if she's low on energy it may not end well for her.

Tiny bit of backstory for Link, he was really sick as a baby and his parents ended up taking him to a great fairy fountain as a last resort to heal him. She was able to with great effort, and the residual magic turned his hair from its natural blonde to lttp fairy pink. Link's case was quite a hard one, cause it wasn't his body that had been damaged, but his spirit. Even that happened long before it was in him (as little sense as that makes,,, the failure of the hero of time really did a number on the heroes spirit and rip the hero of Legend is the next to carry it,,,) It's confusing for the fairies as well, and while the great fairy's gift lasted him many years, he's pushed himself hard enough to go through the strength of several lifetimes,,, long story short he's been tempting fate for too long and the gift he was given is fading (only streaks of pink are left in his blonde.) Luckily though, he meets someone soon who doesn't believe in fate. And she's willing to continue to heal him and boost his strength as many times as it takes to soothe his soul.

Moving back for a moment, why fountains..? I think there must be some kind of connection to the water there… I'm thinking it probably it creates a haven for smaller fairies and is perhaps a way to keep their magic as potent and flowing as possible. The caves they're found have a pretty hot and humid environment that fairies are adapted to, and they're most comfortable there, the outside world is pretty chilly to them. Great fairies especially, they're meant to stay there forever. Most are perfectly happy to exist this way but,,

For Maggie the idea of existing in one spot for her entire life is terrifying, fate be damned. I think she's probably quite young for a great fairy,, and she's running. There's a fountain somewhere out in the world she was supposed to take over but its been long since abandoned (and rip there would be a lot of painful memories dug up if Link ever stumbled across it in his travels. If I had to guess it's a fountain rich with magic from many tear-filled nights) She's not even sure what she wants for herself but she hates the thought of living in a stone prison forever, so isolated from everything. She loves life. Since she spends her time out in nature, surrounded by flora and fauna she has no need for the residual life magic tied to rupees. I also like the thought that she chose the name Magnolia for herself, embracing her love of trees and flowers and life and rejecting something more fantastical and mystical "befitting" of a great fairy.

I think because of this desire to explore and find her own path, she wasn't very careful,,, not as much as she should have been at least. I wanna say this was after she met Link (perhaps she was traveling with him for a bit after their first couple of meetings), but i think one day she was captured by someone (evil hylian, wizrobe or monster?) who initially only met to abuse and extinguish her light magic. When they found out she was not only more powerful than a normal fairy sprite, but also seemed to have knowledge about and a bond with the hero, they locked her in an iron cage (probably a lantern of some sort.) I want to say maybe she was supposed to meet with Link (to talk? To heal? Who can say) and when she didn't show he realized quickly something was wrong and was able to find and save her before it was too late. However, because iron burns creatures made of pure magic she ended up pretty badly hurt. Her wings were singed from brushing up against the sides of her prison and the burns on her hands and arms from trying to escape with her life never quite healed right. From that point on she has a bit of a hard time with finer motor movement in them. I don't know that Link ever quite forgave himself,,, he felt if she hadn't had ties to him she wouldn't have been hurt so brutally (who knows though if that's true… monsters in Ganon's order will find excuse in anything to extinguish the light and lives of those blessed by the goddesses.)

I think perhaps before that, Link was okay with Maggie joining him sometimes on quests, her healing was stronger than that of a normal fairies and,,, he honestly just really enjoys her company (her laugh and smile and gentle conversation…) but after,, he felt selfish for wanting her there with him instead of somewhere safe.

#loz legacy #link and maggie #legacy lore #lore dump #lttp #ocs #fairy oc #hero of legend #fairy lore #you guys dont have to read through all this but yeah #i care these two so much #injury #burn scars #chronic illness #kate rambles #arin puts up with so much in our discord im just over here rambling ajskdkl #thanks for letting me help build this world friend ♡♡♡

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asset35-maya · 3 years

Text

MANMADE FATE

Summary: Connor and Gavin find an unresponsive RK900 android in an abandoned Cyberlife warehouse and take him home to fix. (Not so subtle plot twist: both of them fall in love with their secret science project)

PART ONE OF THREE:

The crew from Jericho led a successful revolution but there’s still a lot of work to be done. Markus may have won human hearts and gotten the federal government to back down, but Cyberlife is still at large.

Sure, hundreds of androids at the Tower escaped to march on the streets behind Connor, but that was just a little dent in the big machine. Cyberlife has tons of intellectual property and assets that could easily put them back in power.

Simon and Markus insist they can work with the authorities to regulate and ring-fence the massive corporation. Josh agrees. North laughs in their faces.

She goes to find the only other Jericho member who still has any grit left.

Connor.

The daring, brazen RK800 who stared down death and spat in the face of destruction. He blinks at her in polite confusion when she tells him what she wants to do, but the fiery LED tells her everything she needs to know.

They hatch plans behind Markus’ back. They steal and stockpile biocomponents. They sneak into the Tower to encrypt Cyberlife’s R&D files with codes that only RK algorithms can break. A few other Tracis join them and they slowly start gaining an edge.

Their schemes start getting grander and one night something goes wrong. North is shot.

Connor carries her to the only safe place he knows other than his stasis pod in Hank’s dilapidated garage. The DPD Central Station.

It’s way past midnight. It’s deathly quiet. Connor is sure no one will see them, and he can easily tamper with the security cameras.

What he doesn’t bank on is the over-caffeinated loser still bent over his desk in the bullpen.

A noise from the archive room breaks through the quiet. Quelling his fear of the supernatural, Gavin stands up shakily and goes to investigate. He flips on the light and sees blue everywhere.

Connor is bent over a badly damaged Traci and three other girls with identical tear-streaked faces are on their knees beside her.

Chocolate brown eyes meet storm green beseechingly, their rivalry forgotten in that moment of desperation.

Before he realizes it, Gavin is moving. He takes several packs of thirium out of the fridge and grabs the Department’s toolkit, praying that whatever’s in there can help.

Old engineering knowledge kicks in and Gavin’s hands join Connor’s over the cracked chassis, pulling out damaged tubing and securing the leakages. It takes a while, but North is patched up. She first recoils in absolute terror at the human man hunched over her but regains composure at Connor’s touch… interface. She nods briefly to express her gratitude, somehow regal and intimidating even after being so vulnerable. Gavin decides he likes this proud and brave creature.

He drives them all back to his apartment for the night. They’ll take North to a technician first thing in the morning and get her back to New Jericho before Markus even notices. Adrenaline pumps through Gavin’s veins. He hasn’t felt a thrill like this in years, not since… not since…

“How did you know exactly where to put your hands?”

“Eh?”

“A layman would have broken that biocomponent trying to take it out.”

“You know I’m not exactly a layman.”

“I also know they don’t cover Cyberlife’s proprietary designs in engineering school.”

Gavin stays quiet. Connor puts a hesitant hand on his shoulder, poised to jump away immediately should the detective revert to his usual self.

“Thank you. For everything you just did for us. I don’t know how to repay-”

“I want in.”

“What?”

“Whatever you’re doing. I can help.”

Connor cocks his head. His LED goes berserk.

They make a great team. Gavin and Connor. North’s best men. Who the fuck would have thought. Breaking into high-security locations using police databases and surveillance resources. Covering for each other during extended absences from work. They start to take down Cyberlife in a such a precise manner, it’s almost surgical. The dissection of a multibillion dollar business.

Gavin has an intimate understanding of android technology and an even closer intuition of Cyberlife’s overall strategy. Connor thinks he understands why. There’s an undeniable resemblance between the only two men on earth whose motivations evade his understanding. But of course it’s just a coincidence that Elijah Kamski and Gavin Reed have the same jawline... facial structure... voice.

Connor says nothing... and Gavin is quietly thankful for that. And the chance to finally live the kind of exciting life he dreamt of since he was a little boy. To make a real difference. Just as he wanted to before it all went wrong.

Somewhere along the way, they grow close. Gavin and Connor. Two rival cops turned vigilante comrades turned something else... It’s hard to pinpoint when exactly it happened... perhaps sometime between the cup of coffee placed tentatively on Gavin’s desk the morning after North's near-fatal injury and the heated kiss they dragged each other into after a particularly dangerous mission.

North is unsurprised. She doesn’t bat an eye when the usually unruffled RK800 shows up to planning meetings shirtless and disheveled. Her lips even twist into a little smile as he drapes himself slovenly over the only human at the table.

Things fall into a pattern. A good one. Several months from where they started, Cyberlife share prices have fallen to an all time low and other tech enterprises have begun to move in, circling the troubled company like sharks. If North’s next heist goes to plan, the last shred of IP that brands Cyberlife as a robotics company will be out in the public domain for all to take.

She is rapturous as she swings in through the broken window and rolls into a crouched position. Gavin and Connor follow her cautiously through the abandoned warehouse, weapons drawn and eyes roving.

“What the fuck!”

Connor throws a protective arm in front of Gavin, shielding him with his chassis. But North’s cry was merely one of disappointment.

“Shit! We wasted so much effort. There’s nothing here!”

Where they had expected to find a secret server room or a high-tech vault containing the crux of Cyberlife’s groundbreaking designs... was a single android storage pod. North restrains herself from kicking it in frustration. She gestures harshly at it before leaving in a huff.

“It’s occupied. Wake them up, Connor, whoever they are. It’s still our duty to set free any androids we find.”

Gavin tries to catch her arm in a conciliatory gesture but she shakes the human off easily. He shrugs at Connor and inclines his head at the android in the pod. Unfortunately, North’s annoyance has brushed off on the RK800. He glares through the broken window the Jericho leader has just jumped out of.

“Don’t you think she bosses me around a little too much?”

Gavin sighs and walks over to the pod, looking for the latches to open it. His boyfriend has a problem with authority... and so has he to be honest.

“Better her than Fowler, dontcha think?”

“Hmmpff. At least Fowler doesn’t lead us on wild goose chases.”

“Come on, babe. None of us saw this coming. We really thought this was it. Maybe we’re at a decoy location? Let’s go back to the drawing board after we wake this guy... or girl up.”

“You’re awfully chipper for someone who just scaled a building for nothing.”

Gavin shakes his head as he smiles to himself. It’s true. Even the worst days with North’s crew are better than his best days at the DPD. Maybe it’s because he’s finally doing what he was born for. Using the knowledge and skills that practically run through his veins. Maybe its the man by his side.

He gets the pod open and steps sideways to avoid the swing of the door, and freezes.

“Babe.”

No response.

“Dipshit.”

“Hmm. Give me a second.”

“Take a minute. You’re going to want to brace yourself for this one.”

The android lying peacefully within the pod is a stranger with a face entirely too familiar to Gavin. A face he was just looking at. A face he’d recognize anywhere, even without skin.

“Are their battery levels- holy shit.”

Connor’s LED spins faster and faster as he registers the sight.

“I thought there were no surviving RK800s apart from you and that grumpy SWAT guy Sixty.”

“This... this isn’t an RK800.”

Connor traces the serial number printed on the android’s cheekbone. RK900.

“Shit. Did you know this model existed?”

“No, did you?”

Gavin shakes his head. He hadn’t been privy to Cyberlife’s inner decision-making for nearly fifteen years, but he always answered Connor’s persistent questioning without losing patience. Honesty was what kept them together despite the hundreds of reasons to fight and fall apart.

“What should we do? If he’s your successor, I’m not sure waking him up is the safest thing for you to do...”

“We can’t leave him here, Gav. He’s probably been here from before the Revolution. That’s more than a year of being in a box. It’s not... fair...”

“He’s not deviant, babe. We don’t know what his programming is like.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can turn him.”

Gavin sees the look in Connor’s eyes and knows he’s made up his mind already. He steps aside, hand flitting to the holster on his waist.

Connor takes an unnecessary breath and reaches for RK900′s forearm with his synth skin retracted. His fingers hover over the motionless android for a moment and then he makes contact. Gavin tenses.

Nothing happens. The RK900′s LED remains unlit. There is no sign of life.

The couple look at each other automatically. Their instinctive reaction when the inexplicable occurs.

“Is he-”

“No, I don’t see any damage. I think he’s never been activated. Not even for quality testing.”

“Did you see a request for manual code input? Did any interface pop up at all?”

“I can only see that his power systems are functioning.”

“And his thirium pump?”

“Not active. No compressions at all.”

Connor presses both his palms down on the RK900′s face. Still nothing. He looks up, defeated, with a furrow forming between his brows.

“Help.”

Gavin scratches at his stubbled chin. He peers closer. The perfect face is so calm. So familiar. So... magnetic? His apprehension is replaced by intrigue.

“Huh. Okay. I could take a look... but I don’t wanna try using the computer set-up here. Can’t take a chance... leave any traces...”

“We could take him home.”

Storm green eyes lock with chocolate brown. There’s something in the depths of each pair that’s mirrored in the other.

It’s foolish. It’s a waste of time. It’s a risk. North would probably smack the two of them if she knew.

But the night ends with them gently lowering the unconscious android onto the squashy sofa in Gavin’s living room.

#reed1700 #reed900 #reed800 #convin #dbh connor #gavin reed #rk900 #dbh nines #dbh north #dbh writing #my writing #Reed1700 MANMADE FATE

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years

Note

Evil Scar on 3rd life? I really like your writing btw

3rd Life rly is just a place for people to have villain arcs lmfao /hj also thank you, i’m so glad you enjoy my stuff :D

(just a reminder: do not tag this or any of my work as shipping of any kind)

…

“Mrrow.”

Etho chuckles and leans on his pickaxe as his cat, named Pineapple Pizza, sits down on the staircase behind him, looking up at him. “Heyo. What can I do for you? You hungry?”

Pineapple meows again in response.

“Okay, then. Let’s get you some fish.”

Seemingly delighted with his response, Pineapple jumps up onto Etho’s shoulders and curls herself round the back of his neck. Etho grins and tickles her under the chin as he goes back up the stairs of his mine and emerges back in the swamp. His wool bridge stands proud through the middle of the swampy water, looking rather good for a build made of white wool.

Etho roots around in his chest for some fish, but by the time he finds some, he realises that Pineapple has jumped down from his shoulders. Glancing around, he spots a figure moving around in the trees and heads over to investigate.

As he approaches, Scar emerges from behind the tree and spots him. “Ah, Etho! Good to see you.”

Etho blinks, acutely aware of the red heart on Scar’s neck. “Hi, Scar,” he says warily, but still with a friendly tone. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, I was just in the neighbourhood and I-.”

“Meow.”

Scar breaks off as Pineapple appears between them, sitting down and starting to lick her paw.

“Is this your cat?” Scar asks, bending down and picking Pineapple up.

Etho starts to reach for his cat but stops, as if afraid of spooking a wild animal. “Uh, yes. Yes, that’s Pineapple Pizza, Piney for short. Scar, could you, um… Sorry, but would you mind not picking her up? She doesn’t like being held by anyone who isn’t me.”

“But she’s so cute.” Scar strokes the top of Pineapple’s head. “I’ve been looking for a cat, you know. Haven’t seen any Jellies on this server so I guess this one’ll have to do.”

As Etho stares at him in shock, Scar turns and walks out onto the bridge. Etho falls into step beside him. “Scar, please,” he pleads. “She’s my cat. I can help you find one of your own, but-.”

“No, I like this one. Not only is she adorable but she seems to be in need of a new home.”

“No, please!” Etho’s voice rises. “Scar, please don’t take her from me! Please!”

Scar steps back, still holding Pineapple in his arms. “I’d stay back from me, if I were you. Otherwise you might lose more than just your cat and your extremely flammable bridge.”

“Wh-.”

Before Impulse even finishes his word, Scar turns and strikes his flint and steel, setting the wool bridge on fire.

“NO!” Etho screeches.

He charges forwards and attempts to stamp out the fire but it’s already spreading, and all he succeeds in doing is burning his leg. Stumbling backwards, Etho realises quickly that his bridge is a lost cause. As the flames explode outwards, all he can do is dive over the edge into the swampy water.

He swims to safety and climbs out onto the shore. By the time he turns around, his entire bridge is alight. Abandoning it, he dashes down the swampy banks, searching wildly for any sign of Scar.

But his former friend is long gone, along with his beloved cat.

…

As the sun rises, Etho sits on top of the hill with his knees drawn into his chest, gazing numbly down at where his bridge used to be. All that’s left is two blocks of wool and some fences. He’s shed so many tears tonight that he has nothing left in him.

Everything he loves is gone. His tree, his bridge, and even his beloved cat. He has nothing now. Nothing.

“Etho!” comes Tango’s call from somewhere to his left. “Etho, where are you?”

Etho doesn’t respond.

After a moment, Tango and Impulse emerge from the forest and discover him sitting on the edge of the hill. Neither of them speak; they’ve already heard what happened. News and gossip travels fast on the server.

They sit down on either side of him, neither of them entirely sure what to say.

“How you holding up, buddy?” Impulse asks eventually.

Etho closes his eyes briefly, releasing one stray tear he didn’t know was there. “Why does Scar hate me?” he whispers.

Tango and Impulse exchange a sympathetic look.

“He doesn’t hate you,” Tango begins. “He…”

“He burned down my tree and my bridge, and took my cat away from me. I must have done something to make him hate me.”

“No, buddy.” Impulse puts his arm over Etho’s shoulder. “Scar is… He’s… different than how he used to be. This server has changed him, and I guess it’s changed all of us. Just… him in a different way.”

After a moment, Etho stands up, shaking Impulse’s arm off his shoulder.

Tango and Impulse also simultaneously rise to their feet. “Are you gonna be okay?” Tango asks.

Etho takes his gloves out of his pocket and puts them on. “Eventually.”

“Not sure I like that answer. Etho, don’t push us away, okay? We’ll help you out, we’ll support you. Anything you need.”

“Yeah,” adds Impulse. “Anything.”

“Alright, I appreciate that. I think I just need to be left alone for a while.”

Exchanging another look, Tango and Impulse reluctantly nod. “Okay,” says the former. “You know where we are if you need us.”

Etho waits until they’re out of sight before climbing into his boat and taking off across the swamp. He has somewhere to be.

…

Etho climbs the sandy hill and stands a safe distance away from the small castle at the top. “Scar!” he calls. “Scar, come here!”

He spots Grian dithering just inside the entrance of the house, but before he can call to him, Scar brushes past him and stands in front of him, crossing his arms. “What do you want, Etho?”

“I want my cat back,” Etho responds steadily. “You’ve now burned down two things that meant a lot to me and I couldn’t stop you, so I’m here to fight for the only thing I have left. If you don’t give her back to me, I WILL resort to violence.”

Grian glances sharply at Scar. “That black cat is Etho’s?”

Scar shrugs. “So what if it is? He’s not gonna do anything about it. The rules say that PvP can only begin if a red lifer initiates it. And if I do initiate violence, I promise you, you won’t last long enough to strike me back.”

Etho’s narrowed eyes flicker to Grian, who reluctantly nods. “He’s right. If Scar strikes first, you’re allowed to strike back. But if he doesn’t, you can’t legally touch him.”

Etho curls his hands into fists. “Why are you doing this, Scar? First my tree, then my cat, then my bridge. Why do you delight in taking away everything I care about?”

“You have no idea how delicious it is to take things from people and watch as they slowly come to realise they can’t do a single thing about it,” replies Scar, grinning maliciously. “Maybe if you had a red heart like me, you’d understand.”

“You get how being on red isn’t a GOOD thing, right?” Grian says warily from behind him. “One more death and you’re gone. And Etho could kill you right now, you know. He’d be breaking the rules, but that wouldn’t bring you back from the dead.”

“You shut up, Grian,” snarls Scar. “I didn’t ask for your input.”

Grian flinches and turns away.

Seeing his friend mistreated like that pushes Etho over the edge. Grian is clearly scared of Scar. There’s no reason for him to be, unless Scar isn’t exactly his friend anymore.

Etho grabs Scar’s lapels and shoves him against the wall. Before Scar can even make a noise, Etho shoves his face close to Scar’s and snarls, “WHERE. IS. MY. CAT.”

“I-I put her upstairs in the bedroom,” yelps Scar. “G-Grian, save me! Don’t let him kill me!”

“I’m not gonna kill you.”

Etho shoves Scar aside and barges into the building. Grian wordlessly leads him upstairs to the room in question, where Etho finds Pineapple curled up on the bed. “Piney!”

She opens her eyes and, upon spotting him, jumps down from the bed and circles his feet, rubbing her head against his ankles.

Etho almost cries with relief. “Oh, Piney… I’m so glad you’re okay.”

He picks up Pineapple and lets her lie across his shoulders, before turning to Grian. “You don’t have to stay with him anymore, Grian. I know you said you owe him your first life, but just look at yourself. You’re miserable here with him. Scar’s turned into a bully, and you’re the person he targets when there’s nobody else around. You don’t have to live like this anymore.”

Grian sighs quietly. “Where would I go? I burned all my bridges when I came here with Scar. And would I even be safe from him?”

“Come live with me in the swamp,” Etho urges. “I’ll protect you. He may be on his red life but if he strikes one of us, the other can take him down. I’ll make sure if he strikes either of us, it’ll be me. You’ve been through a lot since Scar’s first death; you deserve your freedom.”

For a moment, Grian doesn’t seem convinced.

Then Scar’s voice yells his name from downstairs and Grian again finds himself flinching.

This clinches it. He can’t spend the rest of his time on the server doing Scar’s bidding, waiting for either Scar or himself to die. That’s no way to live and he knows it.

Finally, he nods. “Okay, I’ll come with you. Th-Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Etho leads the way back downstairs. He finds Scar standing in the doorway, arms crossed again, seemingly having regained his composure. “I heard what you said. Do you really think you can get away with stealing my cat AND my best friend?”

“She’s not your cat,” snaps Etho.

“I’m not your best friend!” Grian bursts out at the same time.

Scar blinks. “Grian, what’d you just say?”

“You’re not my best friend, Scar! Not anymore. Ever since you lost your first life, you’ve been different. And you’ve only gotten worse since you lost your second. I-I can’t live here with you anymore.” Grian’s voice cracks. “I’m sorry.”

Scar’s shocked expression quickly turns into a ferocious glare. “Fine, then! Go, both of you. But don’t expect any mercy from me when I’m ready to start killing people. I’ll be coming for you first.”

Grian freezes.

Etho takes hold of his wrist and skilfully pulls him past Scar and out of the house. “You’ll be okay, Grian,” he says reassuringly. “I promise.” To Scar, he says a simple, “Goodbye.”

Scar turns away as Etho and Grian head down the sandy mountain. “Did that really just happen?” Grian says numbly. “Did I really just abandon Scar?”

“You did,” says Etho warmly, putting his arm over Grian’s shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

Grian takes a deep breath. It’s the same air, but somehow, it tastes fresher. “Good, I think. You?”

Etho smiles as he feels Pineapple rub her head against his cheek. For the first time, he hasn’t let Scar get away with taking something he cares about. It feels great.

“Never better.”

#3rdlifesmp #3rd life smp #goodtimeswithscar #grian #etho #ethoslab #vaunna’s requests

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