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fatiguing-thoughts · 3 years

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“Natural” - Chapter 13 - Embry Call x Reader

Movie Night

Waking up in the morning with Embry in my bed was a level of comfort and serenity that I don’t think I could ever describe. I look over at his peaceful form, the sun shining in through the fold in the curtain.

I watch as his chest rises up and down, his slow, peaceful breathing accompanied by a very light snore. His black hair falling over his face that’s nuzzled deep into my pillow. His warm, russet skin shining in the sun beams. His warmth radiating against my colder skin.

“Good morning.” His raspy voice mumbles against the pillow.

“Good morning, Em.” I whisper.

“What’re you looking at, beautiful?” He smirks.

“Just you.” I blush.

I don’t honestly believe that this is something I’ll ever get used to. Embry, and everything about him, felt like an absolute blessing. It felt surreal, really.

“Awe, bean. You’re cute when you blush.”

“Stop.” I whine, slightly giggling.

“No, I like it. It’s cute.” He sits up, wrapping his arms around me.

“I mean, thank you.” I look down at my hands.

“So, I was thinking.” Embry begins.

“That’s a first.” I tease, poking his nose.

“Hah hah, very funny. Anyway, what if we went camping? Now that I won’t have to be here for patrol tonight or tomorrow. We can leave today and spend a night out, and come home for tomorrow. Then you can see your friend and Leah.” His vibrant smile beaming brighter than the sunlight.

“I would love that. We can start packing now.” I shriek, having a difficult time to contain my excitement.

“Of course.” He smiles, leaving a kiss on my lips.

I practically spring up from my bed and begin packing my backpack full of any clothes I would need for tonight and tomorrow. I put on a pair of jeans and throw on a t-shirt.

“Someone’s excited.” Embry chuckles.

“We’ve always talked about camping together, and now we can.” I turn around, smiling.

“I know, I’m so excited to go with you.” He smiles, pulling me close to him.

His hands grab my hips, driving me nuts as usual. I trace my fingers up his biceps until my arms wrap around his neck, pulling myself up to kiss his soft lips once again. His hands tighten their grip on my hips as he deepens the kiss.

“We have to finish packing.” He pulls away breathlessly.

“That we do.” I shake my head.

“We can continue that later tonight.” He gives me a cheeky smirk.

I nod as my cheeks are deepening to another shade of red.

I grab some blankets, pillows, and search for sleeping bags in the closet downstairs.

We pack some food for the small trip before heading over to Embry’s house to pick up his tent and clothes for him to wear.

I look around for Tiffany while we were here, alas she had to have been working.

“Have you talked to her the last few days or have you been completely MIA?” I ask as he packs a backpack for himself.

“She thought I was camping with everyone. We’re in contact.” He looks back at me.

“Good. I don’t want her to worry herself to death.” I smile at him.

“Me neither.” He sighs.

We make our way back to my car and he leads the way to a site of his choice.

“I’ll give it to you, Em. You know these woods better than anyone else.” I chuckle.

“I know, I’m basically a map now.” He laughs, pointing in the direction to turn.

I follow his navigation and after an hour or so of driving, we eventually make it to a trail leading to a clearing, thankfully a bathroom within walking distance.

We grab all of our stuff and begin our journey to the clearing. Embry and I set up the tent relatively quickly.

“I’m hungry.” Embry whines.

“You’re always hungry.” I giggle.

“Yeah, and?” He laughs.

“So let’s eat.” I smile, reaching into the food we packed.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Alyssa.

“Hey (Y/N), are you free tomorrow?” - Alyssa

“Yes I am. Do you wanna come over for a pizza and movie night?” - me

“Sure, sounds good. Should I bring anything?” - Alyssa

“Nope. I can invite my friends, too. If you’d like. :)” - me

“That sounds fun.” - Alyssa

“Okay, come for like 6.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I place the phone back in my pocket after sending her my address and take a sip of water.

“We should invite everyone over tomorrow at seven. I told Alyssa there would be a pizza and movie night at my house, but she’s coming at six.”

“Sounds fun, I’ll send a text in the group chat.” He says, pulling his phone out.

“Great.” I smile.

We finished eating and cleaned everything up.

“Can we go on a hike?” I ask.

“Of course, beautiful.” His large hand reaches out for mine, pulling me off the stump I sat on.

I follow Embry’s lead the whole walk, which took about an hour or so. We played a lot of iSpy on the way, though.

A chipmunk, the recycling bin, the bag of cheetos someone left on the floor (which I picked up and threw out), the trees, my backpack, and the dog poop someone didn’t pick up like they were supposed to. Those were the answers to the iSpy game we had.

“Okay, we’re here.” Embry smiles.

“Wow, it’s beautiful.” I admire the view.

We were in a canyon of sorts, admiring some of the beauty that the Olympic National Forest has to offer. I look down, noticing the drop off, my heartbeat beginning to race.

“I won’t let you fall, bean.” His arm wrapping around my waist.

“Thank you.” I continue to look around.

Embry always washed my fears away easily. Being with Embry made me feel invincible. I felt all my worries melt away.

I look over at him, smiling at the beautiful boy.

We sat there for a few hours, enjoying each other’s company as well as the view before heading back to the campsite.

It was beginning to get dark and I heard Embry’s stomach grumbling.

“I can start the fire and then we can eat.” I smile at him.

“Sounds good to me, bean.” I felt warm, soft lips press to my temple.

The light from the fire created cast orange all around it, the crackling soothing my ears. The smell bringing me a new sense of peace.

Embry and I ate dinner and roasted s’mores. I sat basically velcroed to his side, just how I like.

“Look at the stars.” He points up to the sky.

“Wow.” I breathe out.

“Come on, let’s stargaze.” He grabs my hand, leading me over to the picnic table at our site.

We lay on it, both of us laying our heads on his arms.

“I like that one.” I point up to the sky.

“Which one? There’s like forty in that direction.” He chuckles.

“That one, Em.” I point again.

“Ahhh, nice. It’s pretty.” He agrees.

“You don’t even know which one I’m talking about.” I giggle.

“I don’t have to. I know it’s beautiful, they all are. Just like you.” He presses a kiss to my cheek.

I turn over to him and press my lips to his. His hands once again find my hips, pulling me into his side.

“Maybe we should go into the tent.” I raise an eyebrow.

“I think we should.” His smirk sends chills up my spine.

And so we did, we took it to the tent.

Soon after, we fell asleep holding each other.

In the morning, the smell of the trees pleasantly invaded their way into my senses. The heat from the sun invading through the polyester walls.

“Good morning.” Embry’s raspy morning voice once again sending chills up my spine.

“Morning, Em.” I smile at him.

“Let’s eat.” He smiles, springing himself up from the sleeping bag.

“You got it.” I smile, following suit.

I caught Embry staring at me, once again. Not something out of the ordinary, though I always wondered why.

“What’s wrong, do I have something on my face?” I ask.

“No, it’s just you. You’re so beautiful.” A blush finds its way to his cheeks, following an uncontrollable grin.

“Awe, Em.” I coo, walking myself over and sitting in his lap.

“I just feel so lucky.” He breathes into my neck.

“Me too. Like the luckiest girl in the world.” I smile, pressing a kiss to his warm cheek.

Sitting in Embry’s presence felt better than merely being near anyone else. It was as if sitting in silence with Embry could beat any conversation with anyone else. I guess that’s a soulmate, though.

“What time is it?” I ask him.

“A little past noon.” He shrugs.

“Okay. So who’s coming tonight?”

“Well, Seth and Leah for sure. Jacob can’t because he’s basically broken in half for a bit longer. Quil said he would. Overall, the rest of them said they’re busy with their friends or families. Well, Jared said he’s too busy ‘doing hot girl shit,’ whatever that means.”

“Alright. Good for Jared, I think that’s a tik tok thing. But Seth, Leah, Quil, Alyssa, and us sounds like a good group.” I chuckle.

“It definitely is.” He laughs, pulling me closer to his chest.

“Well, we should probably head home soon. By the time we got back it’s gonna be after three. And then cleaning all this crap up.” I sigh.

“We can do this again, whenever you want to.” He smiles at me.

“I would like that.” I press a kiss to his forehead.

His warm chest felt like home, and maybe that’s why I always felt like Forks was my home. It was my ticket to Embry my whole life.

We pack up the site and make our hike back down the trail to my car. The drive back once again blasting our shared playlist, revisiting all the feelings we held secret for years.

Embry insisted we stop at his house first since his mother was at work. My heart ached for both him and his mother. Secrets like this are good for neither of them, I couldn’t imagine the pain it brought to them.

The drive to my house was quick, and unpacking all of our stuff didn’t take too long.

I check the time and see it to be after 3:30.

“Well, what can we do now?” I look over to Embry.

“Well, we could get stuff ready. Or we can make out.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

“I mean, one of those is far more tempting than the other.” I smirk, walking closer to him.

Next thing I knew, we were on my couch, his warm body pressed against mine. His soft lips pressing onto mine with slight aggression. Embry drove me nuts, there was no denying that.

Some time later, we pulled apart breathlessly.

“Maybe I should get the living room ready.” I smile at him.

“I think so.” He kisses my forehead.

I grab pillows and blankets, creating a comfortable area on the floor for whoever decides to take that instead of the couches. Also blankets for Alyssa and I, as most people who don’t run 108.9 like when they watch movies. I grab snacks and drinks from the latest grocery shopping trip and bring them into the living room, leaving them on the coffee table.

“Alyssa should be getting here soon.” I say happily.

“You excited to see her?” Embry asks me with a kind smile.

“Very. That was one of my only actual friends in Forks.” I return his smile back to him.

“That’s exciting. And now she gets to meet all your La Push friends.”

“She does. And it will be great to finally have some merger there.”

We sat back on the couch, chatting about more things to do on the next camping trip as we were much less limited than others in terms of safety and location. Discussing a group trip with our friends.

Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on my front door.

“Alyssa!” I swing the door open, smiling.

“(Y/N)!” She laughs.

“Come in, let’s catch up.” I pull her in for a hug.

“Yes please.” She giggles.

“Nobody else is gonna be here for an hour, I left that for us to talk about life.” I chuckle.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’ll go take a nap, let you guys have your girl talk.” Embry says, kissing my forehead before waving and jogging upstairs to my room.

“So… how is life? How is everything?” I ask.

“Well, my girlfriend and I broke up about a year ago. She cheated on me. So that wasn’t fun, but other than that I’m doing great. I got the program I wanted to a few months ago, I’m gonna become a teacher.” She smiled.

“That’s incredible! Congrats. On the school thing. But as for Chelsea? Seriously? You guys were together from like freshman year of high school. What a witch.” I look at her with comforting eyes.

“Yeah, right? She’s not worth being sad about anymore, though. I’m ready to have fun again, I’ve been okay for a while. I go to school in the fall and I’ll be dorming. I’m quite excited. What’re you doing for school?” She smiles at me.

“Well, I got into the program I want, too. I’m going to be going online, though. But I’m studying economics, I think I want to go to law school.” I smile.

“That’s great! Congratulations.” She beams.

“Right. Wait, where are you going to school?”

“University of Washington. I’m excited.”

“No shot, me too.” I smile.

“No way, you’ll have to come hang out at my dorm sometimes. You’re gonna need to make friends.” She encourages me.

“That sounds like fun.”

We catch up some more before I notice the time. I decided to call to order the pizza at 6:45, that way it would come shortly after people got here. I ordered five pies.

“Five pies? How many of your other friends are coming?” She asks.

“Uhh, I think there’s gonna be like six of us all together.” I shrug.

“Don’t you think that five pies is a lot?” She asks me, raising her eyebrow.

“Definitely not with them. There is no end to their hunger.” I laugh.

“If you say so.” She laughs, doubting my words.

“You’ll see.” I chimed.

I tell her that I should go wake Embry up and begin my walk up the stairs.

I open my door and she his silhouette laying in the bed. The darkness of my room made it impossible to make much else out.

“Embry, wake up.” I say walking over to my bed.

“Already?” He laughs.

“Yeah, already.” I chuckle, placing a hand on his shoulder to wake him up.

“Alright, only for you.” He sits up, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Thanks. Let’s get downstairs.” I mumble, thankfully the darkness hid the reddening of my cheeks at his softspoken words.

“Good morning, Alyssa.” Embry yawns from the stairway.

“Good morning?” She laughs at his goofiness.

A knock at the door interrupts us. I walk over to see Quil, Seth, and Leah.

“Hey!” I smile.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Seth beams with his contagious smile.

“What’s up, dork?” Quil laughs.

“Hey, (Y/N).” Leah says softly, smiling at me.

“Come on in, the pizza should be here soon.”

“Thank god, I’m starving.” Quil huffs.

“I just watched you eat two big macs an hour ago.” Leah looks at him.

“Okay, and?” He laughs.

“Alright everyone, this is my friend Alyssa. Alyssa this is Quil, Seth, and Leah.” I smile, pointing to everyone down the line.

“Hello.” She smiles, waving at everyone. Looking at them as I point.

Though her face stopped at one.

I look and follow her gaze, noticing it stopped at the last face. Leah’s.

Leah had a dazed look on her face, mouth slightly agape.

My eyes widen, looking at Embry’s face that mimicked my shock. In fact, so did Quil’s and Seth’s.

“Hey.” Alyssa exhales.

“Hi.” Leah mumbled, her face quickly turning to one of confusion.

“Oh, this took a turn.” Quil mumbled, in which Seth quickly swatted him with his arm.

I gave Quil a glare, letting him know that now was not a time for jokes.

“Alright, so let’s pick a movie. What movie?” I ask everyone, trying to break the silence.

“Let’s watch The Cat in The Hat.” Quil chuckles.

“It’s a true cinematic masterpiece.” Embry agrees.

“What is wrong with you?” I laugh.

“I mean, it is really funny. We used to talk about it in class all the time.” Alyssa laughs.

“You’re right. Is everyone good with watching that? I think we all need a good laugh.” I smile.

“Yeah. That works.” Leah mumbles.

“Sure. I’m down to watch anything.” Seth smiles.

“Great.” I turn the TV on and begin playing the movie.

Leah takes a spot on the floor by herself, in front of Quil and Seth that took the couch next to the one that Embry and I sat on. Alyssa found herself a spot on the other side of me.

About fifteen minutes into this nonsense, I hear knocking at the door once again.

“Do you want me to pause it, babe?” Embry asks.

“Please don’t.” I smile and walk to the door to get the pizza.

“Your loss.” Quil huffs, laughing at the movie.

I roll my eyes as I get the pizza from the door.

“Let me help you.” I hear Leah say behind me, grabbing the pizza from me so I can pay the delivery guy.

“Thanks, Leah. You can keep the change.” I smile at him.

“You got it. Where’s your bathroom? Also can I borrow a warmer shirt? I’m cold.” She asks, putting the pizza down next to the snacks on the coffee table.

I look at her confused, as she knows where the bathroom is down here, also because this girl would never be cold. It’s then that I noticed the look in her eyes. She didn’t have to use the bathroom and she wasn’t cold. She needed to talk and she needed to talk now.

“You can use the one upstairs, there’s one next to my room. I’ll show you where it is and I’ll get you a sweater.” I nod.

“I’m kinda cold, too. Can I also have a sweater?” Seth asks, noticing the discomfort in his sister.

Quil and Embry look at Seth with a dumbfounded look, though I wave them off.

“Uh, yeah. Come follow, too.” I manage to say.

All three of us walk up the stairs and into my room.

“Are you okay?” I ask Leah, shutting my door.

“I don’t know, I’m so confused.” She says softly,

“I understand. That was a lot.” I lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Seth walks over and places another comforting hand on Leah’s other arm.

“I just… Everything I saw felt so right. I just, I don’t know her. I didn’t think I would imprint on a woman. It’s not even that I’m mad about it, I always felt attracted to some women, I just never actually dated any. I just assumed I either wouldn’t imprint or I would imprint on a man, because none of the guys ever imprinted on another guy, even in the stories. But what do I make of it?” She asks me in a panic, speaking a million miles a minute.

“I know, I know. Of course it feels right, it’s supposed to. But just remember, it doesn’t have to be romantic if you don’t want it to be.” I remind her.

“It was in what I saw. I saw us together, I saw us happily holding hands. I saw us kissing. I saw us cuddling by a fire. I saw it all.” She looks at me with concerned eyes.

“Leah, it’s okay. It’s all okay. That’s beautiful, if it’s what you want.” I say.

“Leah, if you’re afraid about imprinting on another woman, don’t worry about that. I don’t care. Mom doesn’t care. Nobody here would care. We love you for you and we want you to be happy.” Seth rubs her back comfortingly.

“You mean that?” Her lip starts to quiver.

“Of course. You’re my sister, you’re my best friend.” Seth pulls her into a hug.

“Leah, I’m here for you every step of the way. We all are. I think that you should be her friend, see how that goes. If it develops further, then it does. If not, don’t stress. You’d then have another best friend.” I smile at her.

“Thank you.” She smiles, nodding her head and hugging me.

“Who knows, Leah? Take things as they come. We’ll be here every step of the way, okay?”

“Okay.” She nods.

“Bring it in.” Seth grabs us both and pulls us into a huge hug.

The crushing weight of his arms was one that felt really nice. I felt all the love in this hug. We stay like this for a few moments before I break the silence.

“Let’s go get some pizza before Quil and Embry eat it all. Or torture Alyssa.” I laugh.

“You’re right. We’ve been up here a little long.” Leah smiles softly.

“They better have saved us some pizza.” Seth huffs.

“I’m sure they did. They might’ve killed two pies already, though.” I chuckle walking out of my room and down the stairs, Seth and Leah trailing close behind.

“Welcome back, you missed a lot.” Quil chuckles.

“Shut up. There better be pizza left.” I glare at him and Embry.

“There is, there is.” Embry defends, placing his hands up in surrender, chewing on his pizza.

“Good, I’m starving.” Seth says, grabbing two slices from the box.

Leah and I both grab a slice before sitting back in our spots.

“Where’s your sweater, Seth?” Quil teases.

“They didn’t fit him.” I look at Quil with hard eyes.

“Yeah, it was a shame.” Seth laughs on the couch.

The rest of the movie was filled with laughter. I sat in Embry’s lap, appreciating the warmth he brought me.

“Next movie?” Embry asks.

“We can watch Jackass.” Quil suggests.

“Oh yeah, because you guys just need ideas. You, Paul, and Jared will be tearing up the town by tomorrow morning if we watch that.” I laugh.

“You got me there.” Quil laughs.

“Great, it’s settled. We’re watching Mean Girls.” I announce.

“Oh god.” Quil whines.

“It’s a great movie, you’re gonna love it at the end of the night. You’ll be quoting it, guaranteed.” I tell him.

“It is a great movie.” Alyssa agrees.

So we watch it, and halfway through the movie I notice that nobody is more invested than Quil, Embry, and Seth. Causing the girls and I to laugh at them.

After the movie ended, we all began to get up and stretch.

“Thank you for having me, (Y/N). I think I’m gonna get going now, though. I have work in the morning but I had fun, we should all hang out again some time. It was great to meet you all.” She smiles, hugging me goodbye.

“Yeah, of course, we should hang out again soon. I’ll walk you to the door.” I smile, leading Alyssa to the door and watching her get into her car, noticing Leah do just the same.

“Thank you!” She calls out as she gets into her car.

I waved goodbye before shutting the door as she drove off.

“Well, we should all probably get going soon.” Leah trails off.

“Alright, I’ll see you guys soon.” I smile before I pull her into a really tight hug.

“Thank you.” She whispers in my ear before pulling away.

“Bye, (Y/N). Thanks for having us. I had fun.” He smiles before they take off.

“I mean, I should probably leave, too. I know you guys value your alone time, now.” Quil wiggles his eyebrows.

“Shut up, dick.” Embry pulls him into a headlock, giving him a noogie.

“That’s a weird way to say thank you for helping you not be a father at 18, but okay.” He laughs, wrestling Embry back.

“Thanks, Quil. I thank you for your help. But Embry did say he would do this.” I giggle.

“Fine, go get your own condoms from now on. I’m not taking them from Paul for you anymore!” He laughs as they roll around.

“You stole them from Paul?” I laugh from the couch.

“Yeah, I hold you two with a very high value.” Quil tells me.

“I see. Enough to risk a beating from Paul.” I laugh.

They both eventually tire themselves out and joining me on the couch.

“You guys done, yet?” I ask.

“Yeah, I just had to kick his ass.” Embry kisses my temple.

“Still a weird way to thank me.” Quil laughs.

I can’t help but laugh at my two goofy ass best friends.

“I should go, and you should go home for once before your mom has a heart attack.” Quil says, looking at Embry.

“You’re right.” He sighs, standing up.

“You should, she probably misses you.” I encourage him.

“I know. I love you, bean. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Sounds good.” I smile, hugging him.

“Embry, you don’t talk to me like that. I’m hurt.” Quil places a hand over his chest, faking a pained face.

“Oh shut it.” Embry shoves him, laughing.

“Goodnight, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watch as they walk over to the treeline, knowing exactly how they were getting to their homes.

I go up into my room and lay in bed, reliving the last few days of my life.

How fuckin nuts that just two days ago I was face to face with vampires that wanted to kill me.

And tonight I watched The Cat in The Hat.

Man, life’s pretty weird.

I pick up my phone and sent a text to Embry.

I love you.

I put the phone on my nightstand, and drifted off.

_________________________ Word Count: 4371

I II III IV V VI VII VIII VIIII X XIR XIE XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIIII

#embry call #embry call x reader #embry call fanfiction #embry call imagine #quil ateara #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #jacob black #jared cameron #sam uley #collin littlesea #brady fuller #wolf pack x reader #twilight #twilight x reader #twilight imagine #twilight fanfiction #wolf pack

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since0202 · 3 years

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Chapter 40: Forever

Training against alpha orders wasn’t going great. Every time Grace and Jake got a moment alone, he was not apt to try and do it again. But he was her only cooperative alpha to practice with. Jake was getting better at exerting the alpha tone though, even if it did make him cringe.

“Is this like some weird reverse psychology where you feel like giving me orders will push me farther away?” Grace asked as they hung out in the Cullen’s backyard. Jake was standing on the other side of the clearing with his hands on his hips, nervously glancing up to the balcony that shot off the living room.

“No, I just don’t want to give you alpha orders. Is that so bad? Plus, you’ll be able to resist Sam’s alpha orders anyway if he does try to give you one like you’ve done before, right?” Jacob said. Grace bit her lip and shifted from one foot to the other. “What?” he said when he noticed her face.

“Nothing! You’re right, I will. I just…” she tried to avoid this topic with him without telling the whole truth.

Just then, Emmett and Jasper rounded the corner coming back fresh from hunting in the hills. Jasper gave them a wary look as Jacob tensed. Jake did the worst around Jasper, but he was pretty comfortable with Emmett. Another idea flashed in her mind.

“You two fighting or something?” Emmett asked, his golden eyes filled with mischief. Jasper looked from Jake to Grace with curiosity. He always seemed to have that look—curious, like he wanted to figure out the situation before he decided to partake.

“Not exactly,” Jake said, his eyes still trained on Jasper.

What if… Grace wondered and Jake’s eyes immediately snapped to hers.

“No, absolutely not,” he said in a low, stern voice. Without looking back at Jacob, Grace strode over toward Jasper. “Grace!” he shouted after her, but she kept going. Jasper tilted his chin down, eyes filling with recognition from her body language. She heard the sound of Jake phasing quickly, a snarl ripping through his throat as he charged toward her.

Grace focused, bringing up a large dome like shield that encompassed her and Jasper who were within feet of each other now. She pushed the dome out and steadied it before Jacob collided with it with a crash.

GRACE! He shouted at her in her mind now.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Jasper asked in an easy drawl. Grace knew the weight of the imprint was kicking Jacob into overdrive but she needed an alpha order. The only idea she’d come up with to protect Bella hinged on it. She pushed the pain rising in her stomach as she felt Jacob call out to her through the imprint and nodded at Jasper, readying herself.

Jasper shot his arm forward, trying to grasp Grace around the throat, but she dodged. Jake was snapping and lunging against the shield but unable to break through. Jasper flickered in front of her, moving too quickly for her eyes to perceive and landed behind her, wrapping a stone-like arm around her neck and pulling her back.

Their commotion had drawn a crowd. Seth and Leah were also on the outskirts of the dome now and Leah was frantically trying to get Jacob to do something.

What the fuck is she doing?

Grace? Seth called out tentatively. Jacob was all snaps and growls now, pushing against the shield.

Grace had slipped from Jasper’s grasp, holding his wrist as she went and pulled with exceptional force to toss him toward Emmett. Jasper landed lithely with a grin and shot back toward Grace in one quick movement, bringing his ice cold hand up to her face, holding under her chin and lifting her off her feet. She grimaced, holding around his wrist again and glanced around the dome. Would it hold if she recast? Only one way to find out.

She focused on the ground below her, just a short distance and recast. The shield fell instantly and Jacob, bucking against it crashed into the clearing toward Jasper, all rage. But Grace flickered back in an instant and realizing her mistake, she cast up another shield, encompassing just Jasper and her and slowly pushed it back. Jacob yelped in surprise and then tried to dig in his heels to fight against the push back.

Just fucking give her an alpha order to stop!

Jasper readied himself again. Grace was actually enjoying this. She hadn’t been given the chance to spar with the Cullen’s and she felt rusty trying to figure out her movements. She leaned into the fight more now, taking advantage of this spontaneous, albeit Jake-stressed moment.

Jasper’s arm shot out for her again, but this time she dodged it, surprising herself. She moved quickly behind him trying to loop her arms around his neck, tighten and toss him back, but he moved easily out of her grip. They moved smoothly around one another, like a dance. Grace didn’t dare try to recast again, not wanting to risk the shield falling and Jasper becoming lunch. Jacob was pacing back and forth against the shield now, seething. She could feel it coming off of him as he watched her, but she continued.

At one point, he caught her off guard, swiping a hand down at her feet, grabbing an ankle and pulling her up so she landed flat on her back. The wind knocked out of her and Grace let out a stuttered cough before quickly rolling out of the way from Jasper’s descending heel to her face. That was close. She thought.

Are you done?! Jacob’s angry voice floated toward her.

Nope. She replied, even the voice in her head sounded tired. Jacob growled and snapped.

I’ve seen enough! Grace. The alpha tone rang through, forcing her to listen. Grace was on the other side of the field facing Jasper and she held a hand up to pause him. He obliged, watching her face and stood stock still. Get. Over. Here. Now.

Grace’s eyes went wide and the familiar choke of the alpha call started to drown her. She took a step forward without realizing it and squeezed her eyes shut to concentrate. Come on, come on, you can do this.

Wait, you’re fighting the alpha command?! Can she even do that?!

Grace, I don’t like this.

Will you two please shut up? Grace said. The bottom of her feet felt like she was standing on fire and the only relief was to take a step forward to cool them off. But she resisted. Arms at her side, fists clenched, she willed every cell in her body to stand still.

Now Grace! Jacob’s voice pulsed through her again and she let out an audible gasp, her shield faltering and breaking apart. Jasper looked up around him in curiosity.

You have a choice. Make the choice to say no. Say No. No, no, no, no, no, no. She repeated in her head. But the feeling rushed up through her legs, swirling in her stomach and making her feel sick. Her head started to spin and even when she opened her eyes, she couldn’t see. The shield was down now, but Jacob stayed where he was. Grace felt her body move forward and let out a yell of frustration before falling to her knees. Without meaning to, Grace felt tears fall down her face. She held onto the grass in front of her and tried to untether herself from the command that wound tightly around her throat.

Suddenly, a pair of arms were around her though and her vision slowly came back into focus, her breathing returned and the weight of the alpha command lifted. Had she done it? Relief washed over her in that moment before she realized that Jake was in front of her, pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms tightly around her. She let out a groan of satisfaction, frustration, and relief. Tears still streamed down her cheeks as he leaned down to her ear and whispered:

“What was that?” She could plainly hear the frustration in his voice laced with concern. Grace imperceptibly shook her head, gulping for air against his chest. “No more alpha orders.” He said as her stroked her hair. Grace was still trying to catch her breath, holding onto him and trying to capture that familiar feeling of relief.

Later that night, Grace was posted with Leah. Jake, Seth, and Embry were running a wider ring around the perimeter of the Cullen property, while Grace and Leah stayed close by.

“Why are you trying to practice resisting alpha orders?” Leah said suddenly picking tomato out of the sandwich Esme had made them. Grace paused, looked at Leah and then looked up at the grand Cullen estate.

“There was something I wanted to try, when it came time for the fight to happen. Because there will be a fight.” She said resigned. Leah simply looked at her waiting for her to continue. “I’ve been able to resist Sam’s alpha orders a handful of times. It was always when someone was in danger or pushing something too far. It felt like a choice to do it. My brain clicked into to place that I couldn’t let something happen to the pack and then suddenly, the binding stasis of the order just kind of went away. I was hoping…” Grace paused here and looked at her hands. “I wanted to practice that feeling to see if I could, under duress actively transmit that feeling to members of the pack through our mind link. And maybe, just maybe, it would allow them to make a choice to ignore the alpha order too. But...I couldn’t do it.”

Leah sat for a long time looking at her and finally she said, “Thank you.” Grace startled at this, “For trying, I mean. Alpha orders...especially Sam’s were a unique source of pain. I’m so glad Jake doesn’t give them.” She ate some of her sandwich, considering something and then said with an air of confusion, “Wait, why did you think practicing using Jake’s alpha orders would work for this little experiment?”

“What do you mean? He’s an alpha, so he could give alpha orders.”

“No I mean...It’s Jake. He’s not just an alpha, he’s your imprint. And obeying an alpha order from Jake isn’t going to be the same as obeying one from Sam, is it? You want to listen to Jake because you trust him.” Leah said all this in one breath. Grace looked up at her, amazed.

“Oh fuck, you’re right. Whenever I was trying to fight against his alpha order everything in me felt wrong and I didn’t want to fight them.”

“Sam’s orders are different.” Leah said conclusively, nodding her head and digging into a neat tupperware container full of potato salad. Grace sat in stunned silence and couldn’t believe she had been so dense. Of course she didn’t want to fight against Jake. Sam’s orders were always something that held Grace back, left her out of the loop, or ended up endangering more of them. Jake was only ever giving Grace an alpha order either because she asked him to or because he had been genuinely worried about her safety.

However, she still didn’t feel great leaving it up to chance that Sam would 1) give an alpha order to attack on the day and 2) that Grace would be able to resist it in the same way and hopefully stop the others. The idea of resisting the order and belaying it to the others was still just theoretical, she had no idea if it would even work how she wanted it to. Her phone beeped.

SMS Text: 10:48p.m.—Jacob

I’m home. You’re relieved.

Grace replied, You can say that again.

SMS Text 10:50 p.m.—Jacob

You know what I mean :)

Tell Leah to head home too. The Cullen’s agreed to take rounds tonight.

Grace snapped her phone shut and looked over at Leah relaying the message. With a surprised look on her face, Leah nodded appreciatively, said “About time they pulled their weight,” and phased to run home.

Grace recast to her cottage and found Jacob in the back room throwing in a load of laundry. He was shirtless, as usual and when he turned to her, he smiled that unforgettable heart aching smile of his.

“Hey, thought I’d start a load, we’re running out of clean clothes,” he said nonchalantly. Grace nodded, her eyes scanning up his body in appreciation and said,

“Feel like a shower?”

Grace turned on the shower head and let the steam slowly build up in the bathroom, fogging the mirror. She started to remove her clothes, throwing them in the laundry basket outside of the bathroom door and shivered at the cool air colliding with the warm steam. As she stood naked, waiting for the water to warm, goosebumps running up and down her body, she felt a warm body press against her back, lips touching her shoulder. She let her free hand reach back behind her to playfully comb through the thick black mop of hair on Jacob’s head. He circled his arms around her bare stomach and she shivered for an entirely different reason this time.

Once they were both safely tucked in the shower, Grace told Jacob about what Leah had said about how she thought resisting the alpha orders didn’t work partly because Jacob was her imprint and partly because she didn’t want to. Jacob listened to her carefully and then with a small smile said,

‘Oh you like me too much to disobey alpha orders?” Grace laughed and smacked a soapy hand on his chest and then gave a small, “Yeah, I guess.”

After they showered and were comfortably in bed, Grace wrapped her body up next to Jake’s completely in love with the feeling of him there. Just as she was starting to drift off to sleep, she heard Jacob quietly whisper three little words:

“It’s my birthday.” Grace’s eyes shot open and she leaned up, one hand on his chest and the other on the bed. He lifted a hand to play with the tendrils of damp hair falling around her face and looked at her with a smug smile.

“It’s your birthday?!” She repeated back, her voice an octave too high. He nodded and let out a soft chuckle. “Oh fuck, I’m the worst girlfriend ever! How did I not know this?!” Grace placed her hand on his cheek and smiled apologetically. “Happy birthday, Jacob.” He twisted his head to the side so he could kiss the inside of her palm, giving her a rush of excitement.

“Thank you,” he said.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know. I didn’t get you anything...I—” she faltered feeling the absolute worst.

“I can think of something you can gift me,” he said gently. His eyes were dark pools swirling with moonlight that shone in above him. Grace gave a soft smile and let her thumb stroke the line of his jaw.

“Oh yeah?” she whispered. He nodded and leaned his face up to hers finally connecting his lips with her gently parted lips. Grace felt a giant wave of joy roll through her body as he brought his broad hand up to the side of her neck. The searing warmth made her gasp. He tasted like summer air, sweet with a sunkissed warmth that made her head buzz. He deepened their kiss, his breath intermingling with hers as they both refused to pull away from one another. Grace felt her entire body tethered, meshed with his and everything in her screamed for more. But she was happy to explore this moment with him. She felt her entire future in this kiss. When they finally paused to look at each other, Grace couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off of her face and she was pleased to see that Jake wore a matching one.

“Happy birthday,” she said.

“I love you,” he replied simply. Tears sprang to her eyes as laughter escaped her. Was it possible for someone to be so ridiculously happy? How did she manage this? How did she deserve someone like him? He kissed the tip of her nose and smoothed her hair back. She was finally able to say,

“I love you too, Jacob. So much.” and with that she brought her lips down on his, eager for another taste of sunshine incarnate. He held her so tightly to him that she thought any other feeling would leave her wanting.

The next morning, she woke up in his arms, hair splayed out on the pillow behind her. The sun splashed light over their copper bodies. She leaned up sleepily and planted warm, soft kisses to his parted lips as he still slept. She would never pass up another moment to kiss him. He mumbled a soft good morning, eyes still closed as she whispered she was going downstairs to make breakfast.

The peaceful morning light swathed across her kitchen filled her with expectation and hope. As she put together the fixings for an omelette, Jacob stumbled sleepily down the stairs and came up behind her, leaning down to sprinkle kisses across her shoulder and neck as she continued to chop peppers. When he slipped his hands under the waistband of her pajama bottoms and gingerly stroked the tops of her thighs and traced the line of her hips with his fingertips, she put the knife down and said, “Move in with me.”

It felt easy. She turned and looped her arms around his neck as he looked down at her sweetly.

“You want me to move in with you?”

“Absolutely. This is forever for me and you practically live here already. But I want it to be official. I want this to be our home. Our future,” she said definitively. Something twinkled in Jacob’s eyes as he nodded and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“Done,” he said. She loved that about him. The finality, the absolute certainty of his resolve to make her happy, be everything she needed him to be. She squealed with excitement and he let out a laugh leaning down to kiss her again.

“Good god, it’s 8 o’clock in the morning, can you guys chill?” Leah said as she padded into the living room. Jacob didn’t let this interrupt their kiss though as his mind spun out the daydreams he had suppressed early in their relationship when he would sneak in to sleep in her bed at Charlie’s. Memories that he hadn’t even had yet sprang to impossible life as certainties now. She was his in every way and nothing could sully that connection. He wrapped his arms tightly around her lower back and lifted her up, not breaking their kiss as Leah made pretend gagging noises in the living room.

#twilight fanfiction #Twilight FanFic #twilight #twilightfanfic #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #jacob black #jacobblackxoc #jacobblack #jacobxoc #the pack #edward cullen #bella swan #the cullens #chapter 40 #a monster lives here

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romeoandjulietyouwish · 4 years

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Lis’s Quarantine Fic and Author Recs

Here is a list of some of my favorite fics and authors! Most of the fics are one-shots.

PLEASE REMEMBER: Leave kudos, comments, and bookmarks!

More Ancient Than Magic - ironfamjam

Summary: Life isn't exactly normal when your Head of House is also kinda your father-figure and his daughter is kinda sorta your little sister. It's also not normal when the bad guys your real-life-war-hero-not-actually-dad defeated in The Great War threaten to return and you're still just trying to finish your Charms essay. But Professor Stark asked him to protect Morgan. And that's what he's going to do. Even if it breaks him. (The mini Hogwarts AU)

Worm On A String - FictionalWorldsAreExquisite

Summary: On New Year's Eve, a spell cast upon part of New York City is activated, a soulmate spell. Tony finds himself with a golden string on his right little finger, an indication that his platonic soulmate was also within range of the spell. He doesn't seek them out but then Peter arrives...

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Being Pulled in So Many Directions - @itsreallylaterightnow

Summary: Peter knows he did poorly on his final, and he feels bad enough. Then May finds out. Peter doesn't know how to handle all the pressure of being a normal high-school teenager on top of trying to balance the responsibility that comes with being spider-man. Thank fully he has Tony Stark and May Parker to keep him in check- and comfort the stressed teen along the way.

A Shrunken Spider - An_Odd_Idea

Summary: A fight with a magic-wielding foe leaves Peter shrunken and vulnerable. Luckily, Tony is there to take care of him until the spell wears off.

What braiding is for - @just-the-daydreamer

Summary: Peter has a habit of not sleeping and none of the Avengers can get him to. However, Wanda has one more trick up her sleeve.OR Peter is NOT tired. Wanda is a loving sister who loves to braid hair. And Tony is a soft dad.

Tony Needs A Nap - FACIMBF

Summay: I had this idea that Tony's old t-shirts have rings worn into them by the reactor and we all know that Peters a little clothing thief so, this happened.

When You're There With No One There To Hold, I'll Be The Arms That Reach For You - Squibbles94

Summary: With May working double shifts, Ned on vacation, and MJ staying home sick, Peter is feeling a bit lonely. Nothing that a movie night with Mr. Stark can't fix.

Abandoned - wordscorrupt

Summary: An eight-year-old Peter is stranded alone at school on a cold, snowy day.

That’s what you call Irony... - Nanerich

Summary: After finishing HIgh School, Harley comes to New York, to live and work at SI. As much as he loved working with Tony, he seemed hellbent on finding Harley a date. Luckily, he meets this really cute guy, Peter, who was willing to be his pretend boyfriend, so he could get the mechanic off his back. What could possibly go wrong?

May I Have This Dance? - @canonismybitch

Summary: 5 times Peter danced with someone, and 1 time he danced on his own.

________

Authors

These are authors that I think are just absolutely incredible and I have spent at least one day reading through everything they’ve ever written.

@frostysunflowers - Gosh where do I even start. Cleo is amazing. Like incredible. Their writing is perfection and their characterization is sooo well done! On more than one occasion I have spent hours reading and re-reading their fics!

@baloobird - Okay so Kris is so freaking talent my god. Her ace Peter fics make me sob every time. Whenever I feel really sad I open up her ao3 and re-read every fic and it’s just like getting a hug from a friend.

@doctornineandthreequarters - Jamie’s writing is perfect (I feel like I’m saying that about everyone but it’s true). She has this great multi chapter fic where Tony adopts Peter and it is sooo sweet and every time I get an email that it has been updated my day is instantly better!

@shadedrose01 - Rose writes some amazing Parkner fics! Each one is like a love letter to romantic relationships and the way they write about love makes me openly sob and wish I had someone like Harley in my life!

@justme--emily - Emily is so talented like I would not be surprised that if in the near future she has a published book talented. The way she writes Penny or Peter is just so perfectly in character and sweet but her little Penny series will always be my favorite!

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars - Leah, other than being one of the most humble authors I have ever met, write amazing hurt/comfort! AND Aus I never knew I needed until I read them! If you have never read her fics, what are you doing with your life!

@lyssismagical - Where do I even start with Lyss? A few weeks ago I found out they wrote one of my favorite fics and then I read literally everything they ever wrote and I fell in love with their writing style, I don’t even know how to describe it, but it’s incredible!

@emeraldmoon - Their writing is wonderful! The way they write hurt/comfort is so perfect. I have never read a fic by them that I have not enjoyed if you’re looking for your heart to be shattered, go here!

#lis spreads love #peter parker #tony stark #spiderman #iron man #spiderson #irondad #irondad and spiderson #irondad fic #spiderson fic

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white-cat-of-doom · 3 years

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I have thinking quite a bit about the concept of having a so called 'dream' cast of Cats performing, and who would be a part of my specific cast.

Looking through my list, most people in the fandom would probably say my choices are boring or safe, but that is the fun of Cats! There are so many wonderfully talented performers who bring such diverse ways of playing the characters! Some characters I can only ever see played by one certain person, who has essentially ruined it for any else. A number of characters I do not have strong feelings for, so they realistically could be played by anyone.

Anyways, here is my 'dream' cast of Cats, sorted alphabetically by character, and with a brief reason and production noted at the very end. Of course, some individuals were in multiple productions as a character, so I will list the most easily accessible one. Please feel free to share yours, as I am very interested in who others would pick!

Alonzo: Jason Gardiner (he is the first that comes to mind, and I think he does a good job, but I admittedly do not care much for Alonzo) (Cats 1998)

Asparagus/Gus/Growltiger (if done in a non-racist way): Stephen Hanan (he has chaotic energy that I think complements the characters well) (Original Broadway)

Bombalurina: Rosemarie Ford (the VERY best, no one else comes close, she has ruined the character for everyone else! She provides such a dynamic Bomba that is played as sensual, caring, and fun-loving! I LOVE HER!) (Cats 1998)

Bustopher Jones: James Barron (he does a fantastic job) (Cats 1998)

Cassandra: Mette Towley (a toss up between Mette, Rebecca Parker (Cats 1998), and Danielle Catto (Cats UK Tour 2016/2019). I know Mette is not a traditional Cassandra, but she is still probably my favourite) (Cats 2019)

Coricopat: Tommi Sliiden (his portrayal as the silly half of the twins will always win) (Cats 1998)

Demeter: Aeva May (another one of the VERY best, no one else touches her! I still have to give a major shoutout to Daniela Norman (Cats 2019) who I absolutely ADORE! She is such a wonderful dancer and singer!) (Cats 1998)

Electra: Leah Sue Morland (very hard to chose between her and Lili Froehlich (Broadway Revival 2016) who I LOVE SO MUCH, but Leah is AMAZINGLY talented and I wish to see her do a lot of flips as Electra, like she would do when she played Rumpleteazer) (Cats 1998)

Etcetera: Jo Bingham (THE VERY BEST, I LOVE HER SO MUCH! SHE IS SO HAPPY! SHE IS HAVING THE TIME OF HER LIFE! I would die to see her perform as Demeter!) (Cats 1998)

George/Rumpus Cat: Frank Thompson (I really like him, he has a lot of fun) (Cats 1998)

Grizabella: Elaine Page (the VERY best! Cats owes so much to her character portrayal and the way she sings 'Memory'! I do not feel anyone can easily touch her) (Cats 1998 and Original London)

Jellylorum/Griddlebone: Bonnie Simmons (Original Broadway)/Susan Jane Tanner (Original London/Cats 1998) (it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to choose my favourite Jelly. I LOVE EVERY ONE OF THEM. Jelly is one of my two most favourite Cats! In fairness, if the role is strictly for Jelly, Susan would be my choice. However, if it is to be both Jelly and Griddlebone, Bonnie would be my pick. I love both of them so much! I must also mention that Freya Rowley (Cats 2019) is an absolute joy! I wish she sang in the movie like a typical Jelly!)

Jemima: Veerle Casteleyn (another one of the VERY best, I find it near impossible to get into anyone else after seeing her! Throw in Helen Massey's hauntingly beautiful vocals and there is no contest!) (Cats 1998)

Jennyanydots: Eloise Kropp (I am going to say something that may seem odd, but I feel every Jenny NEEDS to be slightly chaotic in nature, and Eloise supports that. I basically love any Jenny in any production, all of them are so much fun!) (Broadway Revival 2016)

Mistofelees/Quaxo: Timothy Scott (an icon, although I never really cared much for the character. I still enjoy Laurie Davidson (Cats 2019) as he presents a Misto with character development) (Original Broadway)

Munkustrap: Michael Gruber (he is one of the best, but Robbie Fairchild is also AMAZING and sings so well. Have seen him dance? AMAZING! I want to see a Munkustrap who dances like him! Jack Rebaldi will also be mentioned because he is exceptionally talented! A very involved and intense Munk!) (Cats 1998)

Mungojerrie: Danny Collins (he does a FANTASTIC job, but let us face the fact that we, at least me, is only here for Rumple) (Cats 2019)

Old Deuteronomy: Ken Page (the VERY best! An absolute powerhouse vocally, no one touches him!) (Cats 1998 and Original Broadway)

Plato/Macavity: Bryn Walters (no strong feelings, he does a great job) (Cats 1998)

Pouncival: Guiseppe Bausilio (no feelings, he does a good job) (Broadway Revival 2016)

Rum Tum Tugger: John Partridge (the VERY BEST, absolutely NO CONTEST! His voice and the way he plays Tugger is unmatched!) (Cats 1998)

Rumpleteazer: Naoimh Morgan (If you do not know already, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HER AND SHE IS THE VERY BEST! THE SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE! ONE OF THE MOST INSPIRATIONAL AND WONDERFUL HUMAN BEINGS! Immensely talented and the only person I know who has sang and performed to both the OLC and OBC version of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, she is my most favourite person ever to be involved in Cats! All Rumples are great, but Naoimh is the best!) (Cats 2019 and UK International Tour 2018)

Skimbleshanks: Steven McCrae (I really enjoyed his performance, and he is my favourite! YOU KNOW HE CAN DANCE BETTER THAN BASICALLY EVERYONE ELSE! He is an icon whether you agree or not) (Cats 2019)

Tantomile: Kaye Brown (her stern face and synchronization with Tommi as Coricopat is fun. I also love Zizi Strallen (Cats 2019), but she is just SO different from the traditional Tanto) (Cats 1998)

Tumblebrutus: Kolton Krouse (no strong feelings, Fergus Logan (Cats 1998) is as good, but only one was in Cats 2019) (Broadway Revival 2016)

Victoria: Phyllida Crowley Smith (I LOVE ALL VICTORIAS, as she is my favourite character in Cats right along with Jellylorum. Phyllida is so feline and beautiful in movements, exactly what I want from a Victoria! I also have to mention Francesca Hayward (Cats 2019) as she does a phenomenal job, and I love her singing! Hannah Kenna Thomas also looks like a fantastic Victoria, but I have never seen her perform! The small snippets I have seen make me believe that she would easily be one of my favourites!) (Cats 1998)

#Cats Musical #Cats the Musical #this became really long fairly quick #if anyone wants to change my mind feel free to send me bootlegs #I may be swayed with footage I have yet to see #PLEASE tell me your choices #I am curious who other people would pick!#It does not need to have an explanation like what I wrote #Yes I am a basic person who loves Cats 1998 #They are an all star cast by themselves are they not?#Cats Original London Cast #Cats Original Broadway Cast #Cats 2019 #Cats 1998 #Cats Broadway Revival 2016

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queeruma · 4 years

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pastelbatfandoms replied to your post “Unpopular opinion: (ignore if you're not taking them anymore) It's not...”

How are Ben's parents abusive? I think out of all the Aurodon kids,Audrey has the most abusive.

I’m like a week late replying to this, I’m so sorry!

So, I agree with you that Audrey’s grandmother is Terrible with a capital T, (’and perhaps I have owed you one, too’ biTCH HOW ABOUT APOLOGISING TO YOUR OWN GRANDAUGHTER FIRST????), but I would say Ben’s parents... well, even if you don’t want to use the word abusive, I’d say they’ve cultivated a pretty unhealthy relationship with their son, and they don’t treat him well.

I wrote about the way Beast treats him here, if you’d like to read about that in more detail, and admittedly I’d say Beast treats him worse than Belle does. However, that post is based on the first book, not on the films, so I’ll talk more about those now - and in the films, I’d say Beast and Belle are pretty much equal in how terribly they treat their son.

First film:

Ben is 16 years old. Why, exactly, is he becoming king (high king? emperor? disney im begging you to sort out your shit)? We see that he’s in school with at least a few other students who will also, presumably, take over their respective countries at some point, being their parents’ direct heirs. But neither Audrey nor Chad seem even close to becoming the leaders of their... nations? states?

If Ben were in the UK, where I live, he wouldn’t even be taking his A-Levels yet. He’s in no way old enough to handle the responsibility of running a country, let alone an empire-type situation. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with Beast or Belle, and I refuse to take tradition as the excuse, considering the United States/Kingdom of Auradon has only been established for twenty years. They’ve only had one king! And it’s Beast, who also didn’t become king at 16, so there’s literally no reason for Ben to be taking over now, except that Beast and Belle want him to. This is so fucking irresponsible - and unfair of them to place that pressure onto a literal child. Beast calls him a baby in the very first scene!

Then, we have the infamous family day scene. Beast and Belle give their son absolutely no support when things start going wrong, even though Leah is behaving egregiously towards children who are under their care, and in the end they blame Ben for everything that’s gone wrong, and walk away, leaving him alone.

Second movie:

They just fuck off. Their 16-17 year old son is trying to juggle managing an entire... country? empire? continent? while being a full time student and apparently also making a full tour of Auradon and making press appearances. Could he possibly need any help? Nah, time for a six month long cruise. When they do eventually come back, and something is off with Ben and Mal’s relationship, they immediately go to Mal, without taking a moment to speak to Ben about why he’s acting the way he is. From the audience’s perspective, this seems fine, since we know Uma’s probably done something to Ben. But from their perspective? Who cares about understanding their son, better make sure we comfort Mal, who is already surrounded by friends, first. (this is not me saying that Mal doesn’t deserve comfort in this scene. she’s having a super awful time. I’m just pointing out that they never seem to be in their son’s corner.)

Third Movie:

Oh good god, where do I even begin with the third film? The first scene we see them, they seem... fine. They congratulate Mal on her engagement, Belle makes some comment about finally having a daughter, Beast says well done to his son - I don’t think Belle says anything to Ben at all? Idk, it’s easy to read this charitably and say that Ben’s obviously already discussed this with them a lot, therefore there’s no reason for them to focus on him now. Mal is our main character, so we get to see their interactions with her. This is fine.

Then, the scene where Mal decides the barrier needs to be closed.

(A real-life image of me sitting through this fucking scene.)

First of all, Beast, Belle and Fairy Godmother have themselves positioned as a solid line opposite Ben. They’re literally opposing him right from the beginning. Beast instantly takes this condescending tone, as if Ben hasn’t realised that Hades almost escaping is not a great thing.

Once Ben has received his text? call? whatever that was about the crown and sceptre having being stolen, and Beast and Belle aren’t getting the reaction they want from him - Beast instantly accuses Uma of the theft and Ben defends her - they immediately turn to Mal, putting the weight of the decision on her, even though at this point she doesn’t have the authority to make the decisions. She’s engaged to the king, sure, but she’s basically just an 18 year old girl who’s just graduated high school. The second she gives them an answer they like - to close the barrier for good - they turn back to Ben and nod at him as if to say ‘see? even your girlfriend knows trying to do the right thing by those kids is a stupid idea’. The only time in this scene when Ben gets a chance to speak his mind is when he and Mal are having their conversation, away from the adults.

After Mal has done her best to talk Ben into it, Beast steps forward, and it’s here that I noticed - all the way through this film, he refers to Ben as son. Maybe that’s just meant to be a sign of affection, but in this context at least I can’t help interpreting it as Beast, at least subconsciously, trying to place Ben back into the dynamic where he has authority - father and son - rather than acknowledging Ben as the king, and therefore the one with the power to make the final choice.

And of course, we have the moment with Hades, where he refuses to move and growls, even though Hades has done nothing to warrant any kind of threat. Then, in the final scene, he objects even when it’s clear Mal and Ben are on the same page about opening the barrier. His behaviour speaks of a man who can’t handle letting go of control of any situation - and people who refuse to give up control don’t typically make great parents.

Now

I can’t say any of the behaviours I’ve listed here, like, individually depict abusive actions? But I can say that even without the books, which cast Beast (and therefore Belle, since she’s letting all this go on without speaking up) in a pretty damn negative light, when you put all of this together it’s possible to come up with a very sinister interpretation. And because these are the people who came up with, implemented, and tried to keep the idea of the Isle, I think interpreting their actions as less than just bad-parents-who-are-trying-their-best is pretty justified.

So, my interpretation is as follows:

Beast and Belle are placing their son onto the throne so young because they know he’s going to take over at some point, and if they throw him into it when he’s young, unsure of himself, and swamped with other work, he’ll depend far more on them to help him make decisions. They want to stay in control even once they’ve officially stepped down. They don’t help him during the first film because they want him doubting himself and his choices. They leave in D2 because it doesn’t really matter to them whether he’s doing okay as king or not. And by the end of D2/beginning of D3, they’ve realised Ben isn’t going to be manipulated as easily as they wanted him to, and they’ve moved on to Mal. I’ll just remind you of this:

hmmmm, Beast has been teaching Mal how to lead and it just so happens that in D3 she’s far more sympathetic to his way of thinking than she was at the end of D2. Wonder how that could have happened?

Mal, who after D1 is unsure of her place in Auradon, and no longer has the relationship with her mother that she originally depended on to guide her, is now perfectly placed to be manipulated herself, and therefore help them manipulate their son.

I know that’s just one interpretation but seriously??? When do we ever see a really genuine, happy moment between Ben and his parents where they don’t at some point cast doubt on something he does, except that one time his father congratulated him on getting engaged (to a girl he approves of)? Even at the end of D1, when Mal attempts to apologise to them outside the cathedral, Beast immediately places the focus back on Ben and his decisions - ‘I told Ben this wasn’t going to be easy’.

I guess what I’m trying to say is like... the films never take the time to properly establish that Ben has a good relationship with his parents, and so their whole relationship in the films, especially when you add the material from the first book, just ends up feeling super creepy and honestly, pretty cruel. It’s just conflict conflict conflict, without any material to properly contrast it. I don’t think Beast and Belle are in any way good people in this universe, and I certainly don’t believe they’re good parents.

#pastelbatfandoms #also while writing this post i ended up rewatching break this down and remembered just how much i loathe the ending of d3 #so that was fun #king beast #queen belle #anti king beast #anti queen belle #anti fairy godmother #that one less so but like.... she's there for all of it you know?#ben #mal #h speaks #long post #disney descendants #descendants 3 #descendants 2 #i feel like there's still more to say but i can't think of it right now #i really hope this post doesn't come across as me lecturing you btw!!!!!!!#i'll just take any excuse to talk about how mistreated ben is bc he's one of my faves

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penzyroamin · 4 years

Note

Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen.

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow.

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

#asks #anon #bi anon #ily <3 <3 i hope these help #if anyone wants to add please do!! specifically bi women of color since theres a shortage of them in fiction and media #dont talk abt b/9/9 though id like to not praise diversity in a show glorifying cops

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darksunrising · 4 years

Text

Sola Gratia (14/?)

Masterlist

Rating / Warnings : No particular warning.

Fandom : Bram Stoker’s Dracula, BBC’s Dracula, various Dracula and vampire lore.

Part 14/? (2638 words)

Author’s notes : I’m back, babey ! Anyway, here is the Second Act Opening (yeah, changed the Act stuff, i am unreliable at best.)

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The ride to Vlad's estate was eerily silent. Nestled on the backseat, hugging my knees to my chest, I tried to find some comfort in the pale light of the moon, bathing the countryside in a silver haze. I felt like I was wrapped in cotton, sounds coming off muffled to my ears, filled with the low humming of the car. Vlad and Carmilla were whispering to each other, and beside me, Leah seemed completely lost in thought. She had a lot to process, after all. Maybe I should have told her sooner...

To the valleys succeeded an endless plain, covered in fields and woods, and the occasional farm. Not that far over the horizon, I could barely make out the dark, shimmering line of the sea. It grew as we left the main road, following a smaller one, that soon converted to a paved path, barely large enough to let the car pass. We crossed a large iron gate, opening a mossy stone wall. The inside was wild, the wind sweeping across tall grass, overrun by wild flowers and poppies. Tall umbrella pines cast a moving shadow under the full moon. At the end of the path stood a large house, practically a mansion. The walls were white, large limestone blocks neatly laid out at the corners, while the most part were rough stones, held together with a thick layer of white mortar. A large portion of the wall was overrun with ivy.

The car stopped. I unfolded myself and tried to get out once before I remembered to take off my seatbelt, then trying to adjust my bodice to accommodate the now half open corset. Gods, my kingdom for a change of clothes. A quick look beyond the house confirmed that It was built over a cliff, the sound of the waves crashing down below soothing me like a lullaby. Leah's arm curling around mine quickly set me back into the present situation, and I took hold of her hand, hoping to be reassuring. We followed Vlad through the main door, which he closed behind us.

A good number of cardboard and wooden boxes piled up in the hall, unopened. Vlad apologized for the mess, arguing he didn't expect company so soon after moving. Still, everything except for the main hall was pristine, the furniture very well assorted, much more than in his Romanian residence. I figured he must have picked everything himself, as it all seemed in good accord with his usual sense of style. In the living room, I went to the windows, which opened on a large terrace, directly giving out onto the sea. Vlad's voice, softly calling out to me, had me turn back, and sit with them around the coffee table.

Leah was nervously fidgeting with one of the ribbons of her dress. Where should we even start ? I was obviously not the only one wondering about that, as the silence had now been so long it was far over the limits of awkwardness.

“So, who's gonna tell me what the fuck is going on ?”, Leah finally blurted out.

“It's... a long story”, I started, hesitant.

“Long as in 'it started during my mystery trip to Romania I was suspiciously evasive about'—long ?”, she retorted in an accusatory tone.

“Yeah. At least that.”

She leaned back into her seat, staring at me. She didn't even look mad, she just looked disappointed, which was worse. Since we met, I never hid anything from her. I could say safely that she knew more about me that I did, and I never had felt the need to not tell her something. These last months, not talking to her had been a torture. She had been my absolute best friend for years, I hated lying to her. I hated it.

And so I told her. About everything. From the beginning. Vlad had a few protests during my recalling of the Romania Events, and Carmilla looked pretty entertained by it. I could swear I heard her laugh when I told how I stabbed Vlad in the end. Leah listened intently, not once looking away from me. When I stopped, she seemed to take a moment, and looked around the room. Calmly, without a word, she stood up, and took a step toward Vlad's seat. She extended a hand, and swiftly reached for his sword, that he had set aside before sitting. Unsheathing it in an ample, yet controlled movement, she brought the tip under Vlad's throat so fast even he didn't have time to react. Surprise probably helped on that endeavor, still she had him tilt his head up, flat of the blade pushing under his chin.

Her expression was terrible, calm, controlled, yet I had never seen her eyes so dark, her lips pinched so tight. Vlad didn't move.

“You... Have hurt the one I love most, beyond all that I could imagine”, she stated, her voice trembling with anger. “You have made her suffer, and now, you tell me she could be in even greater danger because of your fucking dad or some bullshit ?!”

Her hand was steady, yet I could feel like the only reason she didn't ram the blade through his throat was because she knew it wouldn't do much of anything. I stepped closer to her, and wrapped my hand around hers. She held the grip so tight her knuckles were bone-white. I had her lower the sword, which she immediately dropped, and turned to look at me, eyes watering up.

“I-I'm so sorry, Eris, if I had known... I would never... Fuck, he could've... He could've...”

She held my hands enclosed in hers, and lost her words into incoherent sobbing for a second. Bringing my hands to her face, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and took a moment to calm herself down. Still holding my hand, she turned her attention back to Vlad.

“I was too quick to give you my trust. That won't happen twice”, she told him, glaring. “You put us into this mess, and you'd better handle it.”

“I intend to !”

“I'm not finished”, she snapped. “If anything, I mean anything happens to Eris, I will hold you personally responsible, and I'll have your dismembered limbs impaled in my backyard.”

Carmilla giggled, to which Leah snapped and promised her the same fate.

“Now, you're gonna drive us home, and I don't wanna see either of your faces again, at least not until you handled the problem.”

“You can't be serious, you'll be safer here-”, Vlad started.

“Safer ? With you ?” She had a dry laugh. “Well, isn't that the funniest thing you've ever said.”

“At least, stay the night”, he insisted, looking over to me for backup. “I will drive you back as soon as you'd like in the morning.”

She was about to protest, and I caught her arm, interrupting her. “Leah, it's late, we're both tired. Let's just go to sleep, right ?”

She took a second, and gave in, nodding. She insisted we slept together, even though the house had a good number of guest rooms, which was, in retrospect, pretty funny for someone who didn't need sleep. He guided us to the room he had prepared for me, initially. It had to be about half my apartment's size, and included a tower at the corner. Huge bay windows gave onto a balcony giving out a magnificent view over the sea.

Vlad cleared his throat. “You will find a change of clothes in the wardrobe.” Leah gave him another killer look, arms crossed over her chest. He took his leave, but not before placing a light hand on my back.

If you can slip away, I would like to talk to you.

Ah, the most terrifying thing to hear. Despite that, the way his voice filled my mind was warm, and comforting. I silently nodded, and he took his leave, his fingers trailing along my back, almost as if he resented to break contact. As soon as the door closed, Leah had a long sigh, and dropped on the bed.

“I can't believe you kept this to yourself so long”, she told me. She sounded almost hurt. “I mean, why didn't you tell me anything ?”

I joined her on the opposite side, my head laying next to her. “I didn't know how to. I felt you'd be safer if you didn't know.”

“But you weren't !”, she protested. “You could have been hurt, again, all because I had no idea what kind of monster-”

“He's not a monster”, I cut her off, almost without thinking about it.

She took a pause, turning her face towards mine, an expression of disbelief painted over her features, eyebrows furrowed in a way that didn't suit her kind face.

“Eris, please don't tell me you believe that !”

“I do. I'll give you that the conditions of our meeting were, well, less than ideal, but ever since he came here, he did nothing but try to make amends.” She groaned. “Come on”, I insisted. “You've seen it, he's been nothing but kind, and thoughtful, and actually a great help for my thesis.”

“He also eats people, Eris”, she remarked.

“He told me he didn't kill anyone since he got here, and I believe him.”

“Because he actually is trustworthy, or just because you want to believe him?”

By all means, she wasn't wrong. I mean none of her worries were anything I hadn't thought of myself. I sat up, and started un-lacing my bodice.

“You don't know him like I do”, I told her, softly, knowing this wouldn't do anything to convince her. “Let's just go to sleep, for now, I'm exhausted.”

She reluctantly agreed, and we disrobed, significantly faster than we dressed up. I though my corset would be ruined, but only the lacing on the back was cleanly cut, without even a dent in the ivory silk. In the wardrobe, I was almost surprised to find modern clothing. For the most part, he had my sense of style pretty well figured-out. Not finding any underwear was disappointing, as I had followed Leah's advice on not wearing a bra underneath the corset, but also a bit reassuring, to be honest. Leah opted for a simple plaid shirt, that would have been a bit large on me, and therefore fell almost to her knees. I found an oversize black pajama ensemble, made of the softest wooly cotton. I joined Leah under the covers, and didn't have to wait long until she dozed off, her breathing becoming more regular, and calm.

I carefully removed myself from the bed, and slipped into a large dressing gown. I slowly opened the door, trying not to make the floorboards or the hinges creak. I only opened it enough to shuffle through, and exited into the corridor.

The silence was only disturbed by the muffled sound of the waves, and my own breathing. I didn't turn on any lights, as the full moon was well enough to see perfectly well. I wandered back to the living room, and walked to the bay windows. One was open, leaving a cool breeze inside. Wrapping myself tighter in my robe, I stepped outside, wincing at the feeling of cold stone under my feet. Over at the corner of the terrace, Vlad was leaning onto the balustrade, his hair disheveled by the soft wind. He also had a change of clothes, and had only kept his trousers, his shirt, and his cape, thrown over his shoulders. I suspected this was mostly a question of style, as I doubted he could even feel the cold. His gaze seemed lost over the horizon, watching the moon go down on the ocean. As I approached him, he turned his attention to me, smiling.

“I knew you were good at sneaking around.”

“Please, I bet you could hear me breathing from the other side of the house.”

“Breathing, not so much, but I can hear your heart.” He was leaning on his elbow, head cocked to the side. Arrogant. I sighed, and took in the mesmerizing view a moment. No signs of cars, lamps, or electric poles in sight. Only the moon, and the ocean's soothing voices.

“Do you like the house ?”, he asked, softly as not to disturb my reverie.

“I love it.”

He laughed at the speed of my reply. “Well, I hoped you would.” He took a pause. “I am sorry about Leah, however. I know you did not want her dragged into all of this, and because of my blindness, she has-”

Before he could finish, I set the tips of my fingers on his mouth, effectively closing it.

“If anything, it's my fault. I should have told her a while ago, I just never had the courage to do it...”

He took my hand in his, strangely warm, contrary to what I expected. I felt my heart sink into my chest as a question rose to my mind.

“Vlad, I...”, I started, hesitant. He nodded slightly, encouraging me to continue. “What Carmilla said, back on the overlook...”

I became physically incapable of saying one more word, my heart beating out of my chest for no reason. No reason at all.

“You want to know if she was right ?”

Gods, that voice, that deep, silky voice. Maybe it was on purpose that he talked in a hushed tones, maybe to drive me mad, or not outshine the ocean singing below. I nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. He called out my name, barely a whisper. He let go of my hand, only to pull me closer, an arm around my waist, his other hand cupping my cheek. So warm... He took a moment, playing with a strand of my hair, sliding a finger along my jawline, and slowly running his hand along my neck. I couldn't help a gasp as a sharp nail traced over my veins. He hummed, seemingly amused with my reaction.

“Are you still scared of me ?”, he asked.

I couldn't tell if he really spoke, or if I heard him in my mind.

“No”, I breathed out.

Really ?

His lips brushed past mine, then on my jawline, and my neck. In a very poor instinct, I let my head fall back. The somewhat familiar feeling of his sharp teeth on my skin sent shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes.

“I trust you”, I whispered, leaning back onto the balustrade.

He opened his mouth, letting me feel his hot breath on my cold neck. For a second, his fangs pressed against my skin, soon replaced by a kiss, on the crook of my jaw, right below the ear. I giggled, and he closed his arms around my waist. Expectantly, he seemed to wait, for permission. For mercy.

I wasn't too long to grant it. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I closed the final space between us. As soon as my lips touched his, my heart stopped a moment, or several. I felt him sigh a second, and pull me closer. He was slow, intimate, perfect in every way. I felt electricity run through my body. His lips parted mine, and-

Everything was red.

The sea lapping at my ankles, the sky bursting with gold and blood under a starry indigo. Everything was the same as I last left. I turned around, and found him standing back.

“Here ?”

“I told you before, wherever you want to be.”

I ran to him, and threw my hands around his neck, and he wrapped his around me, lifting me off the ground.

“Makes sense it's with you, then”, I whispered, and kissed him again.

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Taglist : @carydorse @angelicdestieldemon @bloodhon3yx @thewondernanazombie @battocar @moony691 @mjlock @thebeautyofdisorder @festering-queen @paracosmfantasy @lost-girl-inc

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dmwelch77 · 4 years

Text

Hooray for the Matriarchy! Forgotten Voices

Hooray for the Matriarchy!

Week one: Forgotten voices

Matthew 1: 1-6, 12-16

You always know it’s going to be a fun Sunday morning when the sermon starts with a reading of a genealogy. More on that a little bit later.

A couple of years ago I did some work at the Museum of the Bible, in Washington DC. [Yes really, there’s an entire – and pretty large – museum dedicated to the Bible. If you’re ever lucky enough to be in DC, it’s worth a visit for reasons shall we say both good and bad.]

There is a whole floor in the museum describing the ‘global impact’ of the Bible. The exhibit begins with a series of displays about the Bible in American history. It’s a complicated picture. In one cabinet is a volume of ‘The Woman’s Bible’ published by Elizabeth Cady Stanton in 1895. Stanton was an influential advocate for women’s suffrage and blamed the teachings of the church for much of the problem of denying women their rights. Her Bible included commentary interpreting what she saw as the Bible’s real message about women.

In another cabinet is one of the so-called ‘Slave Bibles’ of the early 1800s – part of a large display outlining how the Bible was used both in justifying slavery, and in fighting for its abolition. ‘Slave Bibles’ radically edited the Bible text – missing out stories and sometimes whole books – to downplay themes of freedom and liberation and emphasise themes of obedience and submission. Verses like this one from Titus “teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything” definitely made the cut, used to perpetuate the idea that slavery and ownership was the natural – even God-ordained – order of the world.

In a roundabout way, that’s why we’re beginning a new series this week: Hooray for the Matriarchy! How we read the Bible matters, and for the next four weeks we are going to be exploring the stories of some women from the Bible.

We can’t possibly do that justice in just four weeks – neither incidentally should it be the only time in the year when we talk about women’s stories. In the next three weeks, we’re going to hear the stories of Deborah, Miriam, and Hagar. This week, we’re beginning with the title ‘forgotten voices’ – women whose stories are minimised and marginalised; women who (along with men) are often unnamed in the Bible, yet whose inclusion in the text – I think - tells us something about our own calling in the world. How have women’s voices been forgotten – and why does it matter?

Pop quiz: does anyone know how many women are named in the Hebrew Bible – the Old Testament? I wonder if we started shouting out names, how many we could muster. [Maybe we shouldn’t – we’ll be here all morning]

There are 111 women named – and very many more unnamed. Some we know – Ruth maybe, or Esther – both have books of the Bible named after them which helps. Many we may have never noticed or heard. But the women’s stories are there.

All about the patriarchy

We started with that reading from Matthew 1, listing the ancestors of Jesus – beginning with the patriarchs. Time and again in the Bible we’re told that God is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Right from Sunday school, we teach stories about the male heroes of faith [or so-called heroes – many of them are pretty violent, interesting that these are the stories we teach children!]. Abraham, Moses, Joseph, David, Samson, Gideon – the list goes on. But listen to that reading from Matthew 1 carefully and you’ll notice that – in an absolute break with how genealogies of the time were put together – four women are named. Tamar, Rahab, Bathsheba, and Mary. Their inclusion is intriguing – but it’s not an utter surprise. The Bible is a remarkable history. Most histories are written by those who conquered, those who won, these are the ones who control the narrative. Yet the Bible – the Hebrew Bible – tells the story of the Jewish people who are constantly conquered, occupied, and exiled. In that context the Bible is often subversive, often disruptive. It is written in a time and culture completely formed by patriarchy (a system where men hold power and women are largely excluded from power) – so the Bible is this weird mix. It is rich with stories of women who are oppressed, but who sometimes have agency. Women who are silenced, but who sometimes make their voices heard. Many of the women in the Hebrew Bible whose stories we know are foreigners, outsiders in Israel. Their stories aren’t the centre of the text, they appear and disappear. We get a little bit about them, then we never know what happens to them after that. Their feelings and actions are unexplored, their story arcs don’t get completed. In a text that is often about power and nation-building, the men’s stories are the point. But the women’s stories are there.

Because God is the God of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, and Keturah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob, Rachel, Leah, Bilhah, and Zilpah. Without these matriarchs we have no more patriarchs.

Without Shiphra and Puah – the Israelite midwives who subvert Pharoah’s orders [to kill every Hebrew baby boy, and instead tell him that Hebrew women just give birth really fast before they can get there – they’ve already pushed them out and hidden them somewhere!]

Without Jochabed who hides her baby in the reeds

Without Miriam who watches over her baby brother and saves his life

Without the Egyptian Princess who raises him

We have no Moses.

And while Moses parts the waters of the red sea – Miriam leads the people of Israel across with dancing.

When Israel sends spies into Canaan, looking for their promised land – it’s Rahab who saves them. Deborah leads the people of Israel in peacetime, as well as in war – a war that’s won when Jael (another woman) puts a tent peg through Sisera’s skull. Tamar, Dinah, the daughters of Zelophehad, Hannah, Esther, Abigail – we don’t have time for their stories, but even to say their names is important, because we don’t. Time and again the fate of the people of Israel pivots on the actions of women. The women’s stories are there.

If we don’t think the Bible celebrates women – as leaders, prophets, a source of wisdom and courage, as leaders of the resistance, subverters, champions of justice – then we’re not reading the Bible very well. Patriarchy is not just a problem in the writing of the text – it’s a problem in our reading of it as well. We continue to emphasise the stories of men, missing out the essential stories of women.

Why is this important? Well – aside from the fact that 50% of the population can’t find themselves in this story if women’s voices are forgotten – when we read the Bible through our own bias, we compound the problem. We weaponise the Bible. We fail to challenge interpretations that justify and lead to injustice.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton wasn’t wrong when she argued that the teaching of the church over the centuries – based on this Biblical text which is steeped in patriarchy – has played a huge role in denying women their rights. From Eve to Mary, women have been cast as either sinners (whores) or saints (virgins). It begins with Augustine in the fourth century – but it carries on and it gathers pace. Here are some of my favourite quotes for you [I actually have a document on my computer called ‘quotes about women’, so I picked out a couple of my favourites]:

(This is from the fifteenth-century manual of the Dominican Inquisitors against witches): “When a woman thinks alone she thinks evil, for the woman was made from the crooked rib which is bent in the contrary direction from the man. Woman conspired constantly against spiritual good. Her very name, fe-mina means ‘absence of faith’. She is insatiable lust by nature. Because of this lust she consorts even with Devils. It is for this reason that women are especially prone to the crime of witchcraft, from which men have been preserved by the maleness of Christ.”

One more? Here’s Martin Luther the great reformer, on the subject of marriage: “Eve originally was more equally a partner with Adam, but because of sin the present woman is a far inferior creature. Because she is responsible for the Fall, woman is in a state of subjugation. The man rules the home and the world, wages war and tills the soil. The woman is like a nail driven into the wall, she sits at home.”

Those are rather extreme examples – but if you go into a Christian bookshop today, or step inside some churches, and you won’t have to look hard to find ideas that are rooted in patriarchy, and that still deny the place, the voice, and the role of women – in church and in society. And ideas like the purity culture that have heaped shame on women for their sexuality and their identity.

This (weaponising Scripture) is all a problem not just for how we read the Bible in relation to women – but to everyone whose voice is minimalised or marginalised. To every group of people who find themselves pushed to the outside or ignored. I think we all know ways in which the Bible has been used against people because of their race, their gender, their sexuality, or their social status.

The Bible is problematic. Referring to the Hebrew Scriptures, Professor Wil Gafney – a brilliant womanist theologian [if you don’t know her work it’s worth reading – she’s written a brilliant book called Womanist Midrash] – says this about the Bible:

“The reprehensible gender and sexual mores of the Stone and Iron Ages are still in effect for some of the women, men, boys, and girls living in our Digital Age. Our sacred texts do not proclaim or even envision a world without slavery and the subordination of women, but they lay a foundation for us to transcend them and their limitations: ‘Remember that you were slaves in Egypt.’ ‘Do to others what you would have them do to you.’ ‘What is hateful to you, do not do to another.’ ‘In the Messiah there is no longer slave or free, male or female.’”

In celebration of women

The women’s stories are there in the Bible – we need to make sure we tell them well – that means we have to untangle them from their limitations, and from those that we’ve placed on them.

Some of you may know John Bell – if you are a Greenbelt regular. He’s a teacher from the Iona Community, and just a brilliant storyteller around the Bible. He tells a story about leading a retreat with a group of church leaders, where he sets them off into groups. Half of the groups – he asks to write down the names of the twelve male disciples, and also to write down three things that they know about each of them.

To the other half of the group, he says think about all the women who are followers of Jesus in the gospels, and write down what you know about them.

So off they go, when they come back again the men’s groups start and put their sheets on the wall. Most groups have named most of the twelve of the disciples – a few are a bit tricky to remember. What about when it comes to what we know about them? Peter – we know quite a lot about Peter, people could find three things to say about him. Matthew? He’s a tax collector … he collected taxes … James the Less? Lesser than … another James? Andrew? Andrew brought a small boy with loaves and fishes, and some Greeks, and his brother to Jesus.

What about the groups that thought about the women? John Bell says that when they came back with their pieces of paper, there was a whole wall full of information. The women at the well – we don’t know her name, but she gets a whole chapter in John’s Gospel, which she shares with Jesus. No other character in the gospel gets a whole chapter of their own. She’s the first evangelist. She brings a whole village to follow Jesus. [John Bell jokes that Andrew brings a small boy, some greeks, and his brother – for which he becomes the patron saint of Scotland. This woman brings a whole village and we don’t know her name.]

Not all are named

“We know more about the woman who washes Jesus’ feet with her tears, than we do about five of the disciples after whom cathedrals are named. There has been an imbalance.”

There are 22 women in the gospels whose interactions with Jesus are recorded. We don’t know many of their names – but we know their faith and we do know how Jesus responds to them. The woman who was bleeding, and who touched Jesus. The Syro-Phoenician woman who calls Jesus out on his use of racist language. The woman caught in adultery who walks away, uncondemned. The woman who washes Jesus’ feet with her tears. The woman who gives away her last coin in the temple offering. The woman who pours expensive oil on Jesus’ head – which Judas thinks is a waste and Jesus chastises him. The women who wait at the cross, while Jesus’ male disciples flee. The women who watch his burial, who visit the tomb, who are the first witnesses of the resurrection.

They are not named – but they are bearers of the most important news in human history.

I want to say clearly: for those of us who have felt excluded or marginalised or unheard by a version of Christianity that has lifted up the powerful, and silenced those on the edges, the place of these women in the text reminds us that we are all equally made in the image of God. We are all included. We are all in. Against the odds, (yes) from the margins, unnamed, imperfect, nonetheless … the women’s stories are there.

Says John Bell:

“Jesus eats with women, is offered hospitality with women, argues with women, and takes their experience seriously. He engages with, eats with, enjoys the company of, and allows himself to be touched by those who are equally made in the image of God.”

Texts of terror

Women’ stories are there in the Bible – and we need to tell them well. But we also need to tell them honestly. And if we’re going to be honest about the story of women in the Bible, then we need to talk about what Rachel Held Evans called the ‘dark stories’ – or as Phyllis Trible calls them, the texts of terror.

I believe the Bible absolutely celebrates women, and we see that most in Jesus’ life and interactions. But the Bible also contains some horrific stories – women suffer beyond all others, and often God is silent about their suffering. Throughout the text, women are the victims of terror and violence and injustice. Even in metaphor – when Israel is in trouble, she is depicted as a woman. A daughter, destitute on the streets. A mother weeping. A harlot cast out. It’s impossible to read the Bible without encountering the voices of women who suffer.

And as a woman, approaching those stories is hard.

Rachel Held Evans says that as she read these stories as a young woman: “I kept anticipating some sort of postscript or epilogue chastising the major players for their sins, a sort of Arrested Development–style “lesson” to wrap it all up—“And that’s why you should always challenge the patriarchy!” But no such epilogue exists. While women are assaulted, killed, and divided as plunder, God stands by, mute as clay.”

She goes on:

“Those who seek to glorify biblical womanhood have forgotten the dark stories. They have forgotten that the concubine of Bethlehem, the daughter of Jephthah, and the countless unnamed women who lived and died between the lines of Scripture exploited, neglected, ravaged and crushed at the hand of patriarchy are as much a part of our shared narrative as Deborah, Esther, Rebekah, and Ruth.”

The story of the unnamed concubine in Judges 19 strikes me as one of the most terrible stories the Bible offers us. It comes at the end of the days of judges ‘when Israel had no king (and) the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes’. These are dangerous days, violence is everywhere, and those in charge abuse their power. In a gruesome string of events, when the Levite and ‘his concubine’ (or as Wil Gafney translates it, womb-slave [ask me later for Gafney’s translation of Bilhah’s story]) are travelling, they end up in the house of an old man, in a town in the hill country of Benjamin. [In a parallel to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah] a group of men surround the house, demanding that the Levite come outside. Instead, the two men offer up the women to the mob – both the daughter of the old man, and the Levite’s concubine. We don’t know what happens to the daughter, she’s not mentioned again, but the Levite pushes his concubine out, and the woman is sexually assaulted by a group of men and left for dead.

In the morning the Levite gets up to go on his way, seemingly undisturbed about what’s happened to his concubine, opens the door, and finds her on the ground with her hands on the threshold. So he takes her home – it’s not clear whether she’s alive or not – he cuts her body into twelve pieces, and sends one to each tribe of Israel. The story is an indictment (told at the end of the story arc of Judges) of what king-less and law-less Israel has become. Violence begets violence, begets violence, and war ensues between the tribes. [All the men of Benjamin except 600 are killed. All the women are killed, all the children are killed. 400 women are snatched to be wives for the remaining men … etc]

It is a terrible, terrible story. There is no justice for the woman. She is abandoned and used in every way. She is not even named – only the story of the violence done to her lives on. Phyllis Trible says that of all the characters in Scripture she is the least. The least. But her story is there. This nameless woman demands our attention. She doesn’t speak in the text, only her father and her husband speak. And yet she is not silenced. Her suffering speaks for her, calls out for our outrage.

Lest we need reminding, misogyny, violence, and abuse of power are not confined to the distant past. Violence still disproportionately affects women and girls around the globe. Worldwide, one in three women has experienced physical or sexual violence because she is a woman. Women are more at risk of domestic violence, sexual assault and harassment, forced marriage, sex trafficking, and genital mutilation.

Although people of all genders experience violence and abuse online, the abuse experienced by women is specifically sexist or misogynistic in nature. Online threats of violence against women are often sexualised or target a specific aspect of a woman’s identity (involving racism or transphobia for example). 21% of women in the UK have experienced online abuse or harassment.

Time and again, in the Bible, the suffering of women points to the need and the fight for justice. To the failure of Israel to live up to its calling to care for the poor, the orphaned, the widow, the stranger. And when you read the story of the Levite’s concubine, or the story of Tamar, or the story of Rizpah … [Rizpah’s story we probably don’t know. She was Saul’s concubine. She sits in the desert with the corpses of her sons for six months after David has had them killed, fending off wild animals and birds, demanding justice for their deaths and burial for their bodies, and she wins – David has them buried along with the bones of Saul and Jonathan …] When we read these stories it’s impossible to not to think about contemporary stories [the mothers of the disappeared in Argentina parallel Rizpah’s story].

I think the Bible teaches us that these terrible stories … [do you know, I’m not ‘glad’ that they’re there – I don’t think ‘oh it’s good that women’s stories are included in the Bible even the violent ones’ … we wish they weren’t there because they’re awful stories.] But they are there and what they point us to is the need and the fight for justice for women and girls and men and boys around the world, and our part in that.

In her book, Texts of terror, Phyllis Trible concludes:

“The story is alive, and all is not well. Beyond confession we must say ‘never again’ … speaking the word not to others but to ourselves: Repent. Repent.”

Here – I think – is the challenge and the invitation to us, as we read the stories of women in the Bible. Yes – to be inspired by their leadership, their courage, their flaws, and their faith. Yes – to be encouraged that their stories are told, even against the odds, from the margins, subverting power, leading the resistance. But most of all to be reminded of our own calling as the people of God always to bring good news that is freedom for the poor, and justice for the oppressed.

Let’s pray

May we – each one of us – find ourselves in this story of faith.

May we know our value, our worth, and our identity – formed, each one of us, in the image of God.

May we learn to listen for the stories from the margins and amplify their voice.

May we be compelled to act for justice, to resolve oppression and exploitation wherever we find it.

May these stories not trouble us in vain – may we use them for some good.

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torestoreamends · 7 years

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Covers of Cursed Child 2017/18

The thing that makes this cast so outstanding is the way that every single person on the stage is so deeply invested in the story and in the characters. There's an astounding level of care and attention that, when combined with the level of talent, makes for a pretty incredible show.

All this is true not just for the main cast, but also for the covers. This show has always had brilliant covers, they have always been excellent actors, but in this cast the covers have a level of understanding of the characters that makes every single one of them a complete joy to watch. There are some characters that matter so much to me, and when I started seeing the covers for this cast there was a sense of fear that someone who wasn't playing them full time might not have had time to fully understand them, but with this cast there is no any danger of this. There isn't a single weak link. Every single cast board seems to be 'the best cast board ever', and I love that.

So here are some quick summaries of all the covers I've seen (at least one actor for all the roles apart from Ron, Dumbledore, Craig, Bane, and the Station Master). I hope this is useful for anyone who hasn't seen them and wants to know what they're like! And I can't wait to see some of these people take over full time next year.

Rayxia

Rayxia's Rose feels a lot older than Albus (and that was especially true in the first show I saw with her), but she clearly loves him a lot. There were times when it feels as though Rose is pining for her cousin's lost friendship. I've never had my heart broken by Rose before, but I did in some of Rayxia's shows, and I've been really enjoying watching her take command of Rose over the course of the performances she's in. She makes Rose sweet and a little vulnerable at times, and it's a beautiful take on the character. Very different from Helen (especially in her reactions after listening outside McGonagall's Office in Act Three), but just as wonderful in her own way.

Leah

I've seen Leah cover both Nicola's track, and play Polly multiple times (she's one of those super swings who seems to be everyone). As 'Nicola' she seemed so young, especially in the library scene where she had to tell the boys off. She was still wearing the student robes, rather than teachers' robes, so she looked like a prefect telling the boys off. I'm sure she's had to put up with all sorts of rubbish from the boys over the years. They deserve a telling off.

And as Polly she's mature, grounded, a tiny touch flirtatious, but not over the top. She seems very confident and sure of herself, and weirdly she feels older as Polly than she did as 'Nicola'. Also, it cannot be understated how beautiful she looked, with long, black, gently curled hair. Polly has never been more gorgeous (she is a notorious beauty after all).

I particularly love what Leah does in the Voldemort timeline actually. She handles the scene on the stairs with Scorpius brilliantly. I guess she's used to Scorpius being overconfident and flirtatious and probably a bit of an asshole, because she seems genuinely confused by him in that scene, especially when he isn't enthusiastic about her advances. She's clearly prepared her speech and is determined to go through with it, so by the end she has to compose herself and make herself strong and assertive for the 'for Voldemort and Valour' because by that point she's understood that she's getting no help from Scorpius. But clearly this is important to her -- being with Scorpius is a way of assuring her position in the world, and she needs to do it. I wonder how long she's been working on asking him out?

Josh

The other super swing (as you all probably already know). I've actually only seen him as Karl in this cast, although I think he's also been on as Craig, and possibly Yann too? I love watching his ensemble antics (especially those involving Mackley) so much, and he's one of a handful of four of five people who I'm pretty sure the show would fall apart without (maybe not anymore, but certainly back in May).

My favourite memory of him in Mackley's track was when he was playing Dudley. Both Mackley and Josh get up to some ridiculous shenanigans when they're hidden away beneath the stairs with the other Dursleys, but Josh's was the best. He was so scared of Hagrid that he actually shoved his whole head under Aunt Petunia's dressing gown to hide.

Josh is basically a hero. He can and does play anyone. I don't really know what else needs to be said about him.

Jordan

I totally love Jordan as Yann. I think he's great. I don't know what it is about him but I really trust him on stage, and he's another where I get really happy when he's on. I especially love him as Krum. He has the perfect look, and the movement he does is really natural.

I have now also seen Jordan as the Jameses/Cedric, and basically I think I just really love Jordan? As with seeing any cover for the first time, I didn't really get used to him being on stage in the first scene, so I definitely need to see him again to give a proper assessment of him as James Jr, but I absolutely adored his Cedric.

Because he's a bit bigger than Rupert and has an older face, he felt a bit more intimidating. He felt like a seventh year Triwizard Champion compared to the boys for sure. The scene in the maze was played a little more similarly to how Milligan used to do it, with outright confusion that got a couple of laughs from the audience, but it was still a very beautiful and moving scene.

In the glasses, with his really dark hair, he made a great James Potter Sr, and the death scene was really amazing.

Sarah

The first time I saw Sarah she stole Part One with her rendition of Myrtle (which is quite a feat when you're following a library scene like the one she had to follow). She was wildly over the top in a perfectly Myrtle way, and there were so many moments when Myrtle was all of us. The way she looked Albus up and down when she mentioned the girls 'and boys' doing love incantations in her bathroom in particular. It was a hysterically funny rendition. I think she's only getting more over the top as she gets more comfortable with the role, which is really fun to see.

Ged

I was actually quite nervous about seeing Ged as the Sorting Hat. I love Mark so much that I was worried about how someone else might compare, but honestly what Ged did with the role was pretty breathtaking. He's a very calm, softly spoken, detached sort of Sorting Hat. You really do get the feeling of him being a thing of magic, and standing apart from the world. His version of the pumpkin transition into Godric's Hollow was so joyous that it took my breath away.

I adored him as Hagrid too. His accent may have been a teeny bit suspect at times, but his skill at walking down the stairs in Hagrid's shoes was genuinely impressive, and more than enough to make up for that. The way he told Harry he was a wizard was gorgeous, and then Hagrid's final scene, especially when he heard Harry crying and went looking for him, was really beautiful.

I have also seen Ged as Snape/Voldemort on multiple occasions while David was off in August. In the costumes (especially as Vernon) he looks so much like David that it's difficult to tell who's on, but by the time you get to Snape you can tell. I definitely warmed to his Snape over the month, and I think that was probably because he was getting more comfortable with it, and my favourite rendition was definitely on the 1st of September, when absolutely everyone was on fire.

I don't remember much about him as Voldemort, except that I thought he was great. Although, in a hilarious contrast to him as Hagrid, he took the stairs into the auditorium very very carefully indeed; in fact there was one point in his first show where I thought he might not walk down them at all!

Morag

Morag as McGonagall has a truly special place in my heart and always will do. I get so excited and happy when I see her name on the cast board. (I think she was part of that legendary first cover show with James Howard back on the 31st of August 2016, and I thought she was a bit too softly spoken then, but my opinion of her has transformed over this year.)

Her scene in the office after the boys come out of the lake is truly beautiful. She gets so emotional about the world and about the sacrifices of the war and about protecting the boys. She's everything McGonagall should be. McGonagall is a character who cares desperately about her students and her school and about the state of the world around it. She's a beautiful, powerful character, and her emotion means so much because it comes out so rarely. Morag might be my perfect McGonagall; she's certainly given me a deeper appreciation for the character, and I really never want to lose her.

Also, I noticed recently that she looks so shocked and concerned when Albus is sorted, not just about the Sorting itself, but by the reactions of the other students. I need to pay more attention to her reactions in that entire scene (and to Sandy's reactions) because I bet they're fantastic.

Nicola

Nicola is my favourite Hermione. It was strange seeing her after a run of Rakie performances, because she's very different. Back in the days when Noma was the main Hermione, Nicola always felt brutal and menacing, and especially in edge in the second and third timelines, but now, compared to Rakie, she almost seems tame, but I mean that in a good way. She's the perfect halfway between the two, beautifully balanced. She brings a supreme calm and clarity and thoughtfulness to Hermione, and her chemistry with Tom is electric. She also works beautifully with Jamie, and I loved her with both Rayxia and Helen. It was wonderful to see her again after so long.

My favourite thing that Nicola does is in the polyjuice scene. When Delphi transforms, she's so fascinated by herself, and by the two boys. Nicola will check out her hair, and then she'll go across and poke Jamie in the back of the head while Scorpius is talking to Albus, or sometimes she'll poke him in the shoulder instead. It's like she's testing how sturdy the new forms are, and it's such a sweet little thing to do.

Also, I continue to be grateful for how good she is at hooking herself up to the Dementors. She's the only person I never have to stress about, because she nails it every single time. I don't know how she does it, but I think it must be a genuine talent.

Lowri

I had never seen Lowri as Ginny before! I had a clean sweep of seeing Poppy, and I'm glad I did, because I feel like as a cover of Poppy, Lowri's Ginny would have been a shock to the system. However, as a cover of Emma she was perfect, because she's on the sharper, stronger side, where her top priority is Albus. She's a touch less oppositional with Harry than Emma is (Emma's Ginny really gets angry at Harry in Act Three), but in the opening scene I almost forgot she wasn't Emma until I looked at her.

She makes a very young Ginny, but she was really sweet with Albus, and I absolutely adored her exploding snap scene with all my heart. I would certainly not be disappointed to see her again, and I'm actually a bit sad it took me so long to finally see her.

Gideon

To start with the appearance – he looks just like Theo, especially in the dorm scene when they're sitting side by side on the suitcase. You truly believe that Theo is his son. He looks slightly younger than Jamie, which is a tiny bit odd with Emma, but that doesn't matter at all when he's so good. I think the best description of him is 'hot dad Harry'.

I was really nervous about seeing another cover Harry, because Harry is such an important part, and he links so much of the show together that when Harry is weak, it leaves half of the scenes feeling empty and detached from the rest of the show. However, that is a not a problem we're going to have this year. His acting was exceptional. He, like so many of this cast's covers, walks the perfect middle line between the original and second cast principals. There were moments where his portrayal was just like Jamie G's, but then there were moments of explosive anger and rebelliousness that were just like Jamie P.

He put his feet on the desk in the scene with Hermione after Harry's found the Time-Turner, he got angry and fired up to the point of shouting at so many points, and he cried in the scene with Dumbledore. It was a painfully nostalgic experience to see him, but it was wonderful. Also, one of my favourite things I've ever seen in the show happened with him.

The final scene was beautiful, but because he was a cover I wasn't sure if he would stick with the Jamie G tradition and hug Albus as the lights went down. I get really nervous about losing my favourite details like that when covers go on. But thankfully he did hug Albus, and then Albus hugged him back, which I don't think had ever happened before, and it was stunning. Harry and Albus hugging each other as the auditorium goes dark. I never thought I'd see that, but it happened and I was overjoyed.

Other things I loved were that in the blanket scene he felt like he was convinced the blanket was the coolest gift ever, and slowly got crushed by Albus's anger. I also adored how whenever he was interacting with Albus his hands would shake. It was like he was so afraid of communicating with his son, and so desperate to get it right, that he would start trembling with anxiety.

I know that some people have already started campaigning for Gideon to take over full time next year, and I can honestly say that I would be really happy if that happened. He's brilliant. I can't wait to see him after he's been on a few times and is taking full ownership of the role.

April

I could watch April as Delphi every single performance and be perfectly happy. She's brilliant.

In Part One she feels young and girlish. It helps that she's so small. The voice she uses isn't vulnerable as such, but it doesn't project power and influence. She's actually sort of adorable. Her Delphi feels a bit lost, someone who's searching for something, which of course she is, she wants her father, and I love that interpretation.

In Part Two she absolutely transforms into a sadistic, evil witch. She pushes Delphi to the boundaries, making her terrifying and downright creepy, and I know for a fact that she'd go further if she could (she told me at stage door that she wishes she could lick Albus, but that she thought that might be going too far since there are kids in the audience).

The biggest impact moment of her performance comes in the torture scene. I've heard that when Annabel was busy with the original cast, she would rehearse with Theo and Sam, and you can really tell because they take this scene to a whole new place.

Delphi is so quick and violent with the torture that at one point Albus ends up throwing himself across the ground to try and block her spell from reaching Scorpius, and he lies there in hell watching his friend's pain. She also crouches down behind Albus at one point and holds him in her lap, one hand grabbing his chin, the other pointing her wand at Scorpius. She makes Albus look at Scorpius as she taunts him about not being able to save his friend, and her wand is in such a position that Albus must feel as though he's the one casting the awful curses at Scorpius. Albus always ends up burying his face in his knees and sobbing uncontrollably when she does this, and it's horrific.

April's Delphi is pure evil, I don't think there's another way of saying it. Pure, magnificent evil. She's another one who I'd love to see take over full time next year.

I have written a full recap of Ed's Draco here and here but I don't want to miss him out of these summaries. I've actually seen him again since I wrote those recaps, and even though it's only been three shows between those recaps and this, I think his Draco has changed a bit.

He seems a little older now and less petty. I've been talking to a lot of people who describe him as an older version of book Draco, and I totally agree with that. There's a spitefulness to him at times, and he seems constantly on the offensive, his thoughts and feelings just spilling out of him. Ed's pacing is fascinating, because his dialogue is so fast but he takes such long pauses that overall the scenes last the same amount of time. Those long pauses don't let his Draco collect his thoughts and feelings together; his feelings and thoughts keep boiling away during them, and he never seems to cool down. Also, he seems constantly on the verge of tears. In the first EGM when he talks about Scorpius and the rumours, he almost breaks.

His reactions to Ron are brilliant. In fact, his reactions to everything are brilliant. He plays things a bit differently to James, and actually makes Draco seem a bit more confident as a character. There's a very Dracoish air of entitlement to him, and he doesn't do things like shy away from Myrtle or look delighted when Ron compliments him. He holds his ground, responds with disgust, and generally seems above the rest of the world.

I think Ed's Draco is wonderful. Silky smooth. A really good, caring father (that hug with him is gorgeous; Scorpius throws himself into it and almost knocks him over). Spiky and defensive. Emotionally vulnerable. And, of course, very handsome. I can't wait to see him again.

Mackley

I saw Mackley twice with Anthony, and only once from a good seat, but that was still in the dress circle. I was desperate to see him from the stalls, and I finally got my wish on Sunday the 17th of September.

With Anthony, I remember loving absolutely everything that Mackley did (apart from one line, which I'll mention later). He really shone opposite Anthony, to the point where during one of the shows I only noticed that Anthony was there about halfway through Act Four. He's always been most compelling in the interactions with Harry, and I still think that's true.

Mackley has changed a lot for the new cast, and it's really interesting to see. At the start of the show, when Albus is 11, he puts on a very young voice, which threw me off a bit as I hadn't been forewarned about it. I think that's the sort of thing that's only weird if you're really familiar with an actor, but it was really weird for me.

I loved his blanket scene with all my heart and soul. It's so fiery and perfectly Albus. There's so much fight in there. His yelling is extraordinary, and I finally felt with Mackley like I'd seen a blanket scene from this cast that I was really really happy with (although I've seen some since that have been incredible).

The balance between Albus and Scorpius with Mackley was probably the biggest change from the original cast. Whereas with Anthony, Mackley outshone him and stole the limelight for the whole show, with Samuel there was a lot more give and take. In Part One Albus definitely overrode Scorpius, but in Part Two, Scorpius was the confident, powerful one, and by the time of Godric's Hollow both Samuel and Mackley had given up on being sensible (it was Mackley's last show as Albus for a while and Samuel's last before his holiday) and were just having a wild amount of fun together. It was genuinely beautiful to watch. There was so much joy in their collaboration; it was everything I'd been wanting from their partnership since the 24th of May when Samuel said his first line as Scorpius.

The one downside to Mackley's Albus was the torture scene. This never used to be the cast with the original cast, but this time I was actually very disappointed. The acting wasn't bad; Mackley is incredible, a genuine star, but the decisions he made were just not Albus and I'd really love to know what he was thinking.

Albus completely collapsed in the torture scene, to the point where when Delphi said 'you will do as you're told' he started nodding desperately. It was that nodding that turned me off entirely. Albus in that scene would never give in. He knows he has to save Scorpius, but he also knows he has to stop Delphi, and because he's Albus Severus Potter he's going to find a different way, because that's what he does. I think that's essential to having a believable Albus. (Honestly, the portrayal in that scene was everything I was afraid Theo's Albus might be before I saw him do that scene.)

Having said all that, I'm a huge Mackley fan and I will be more than happy to see him again, but I'd love to see him rethink some of the character choices. I think he could be one of my favourite Albus's ever if he tweaked the torture scene and rethought Albus's trajectory through the story. It might be a lot to ask, but a girl can dream.

Henry

Henry plays a very sweet Scorpius. There was nothing about him that I didn't like. He had great chemistry with Theo and, most importantly for me, with James. The blond wig really suits him, and he has such a similar profile to Samuel that I actually thought for a second in the opening scene that the cast board was wrong and that Samuel was back from his holiday early.

There were a lot of things I love from Samuel's performance that I was expecting to see Henry not do, but I was pleasantly surprised when Henry did those things but even more over the top. The goo-oo-oo-oo-ood that Samuel does at the end of Act One was preserved in all its glory, but Henry varied the pitch, making it even more over the top and adorable. He sang the line 'palace of love' opera style. When Ron drew his wand the wrong way round, he wiggled his fingers to tell Ron to turn it round. He was essentially an adorable nerd, and it was so lovely.

The sweetness and comedy of his performance was probably my favourite thing about it, but he still delivered on the emotional parts of the story, and his library scene was great. The only thing I missed with him was the dynamic range of Samuel's performance. He never got really really quiet or left long gaps of silence, but other than that he was perfect.

My absolute favourite part of his performance was probably the scene with Snape at the edge of the lake. There was something so emotional and beautiful about it, especially his delivery of the line "thank you for being my light in the darkness". He seemed to say it so slowly and it was almost broken-sounding, but there was so much strength and resolve and clarity in it. He paused after the word thank you, like he was trying to find the right words, and when he found them it was stunning.

There were a lot of lines in his performance that were approximated, and Elizabeth did a fabulous prompt in the scene at the end of Act Two (he forgot 'I'm looking for my friend, miss' and just knelt on the ground, hyperventilating with what was probably genuine fear, until she asked if he was looking for someone), but that didn't really impact on anything, and you'd only know if you knew the script off by heart.

In general he was just really lovely, fun to watch, and a great performance. I think Henry is a great actor, and I'm excited to see him again in a few months when he's played Scorpius more. It'll certainly be a hilarious, exuberant performance, no matter what happens.

#Harry Potter and the Cursed Child #Cursed Child #Notes from the show #cursed child cast #cursed child recap #Keep The Secrets #idk how to tag anymore #and there are soooo many people in here I can't tag them all #But anyway I basically love all these people with my heart and soul #there's no a weak link in the cast and that is an incredible thing #they're sensational #this show is sensational #and I'm constantly proud to be a fan of this show and this cast

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faejilly · 7 years

Text

@musanocturnis, @servantofclio, @probablylostrightnow, @forgefaerie, @the-duelling-tophat, @evilsapphyre thank you for all the hearts/hugs/well wishes, ilu <3

SO MANY REPLIES ...

evilsapphyre replied to your post “good morning self, you wanted to start your day with a fraudulent...”

BOO, to the use, but it was good that they caught it super fast

IKR? *YELLS* ... but thanks? *eyeroll* idek

ameliacgormley answered your question “[[MOR] on the one hand I said I would do the thing I want to do the...”

*hugs* I feel ya. Kidlet wants me to chaperone his class field trip and I'm just...cringing because what if it's a bad day for any of the umpteen reasons I have bad days?

EXACTLY

bUT i WANT toO? But I don’t want to. But I SHOULD.

But maybe I can’t? (but what if I could?)

It’s very hard to plan when one’s brain isn’t really talking to one.

*grr*argh*

joomju answered your question “[[MOR] on the one hand I said I would do the thing I want to do the...”

Cab? Can someone else drive? There are times where I just say "f this" and pay through the nose to do the thing. Worth it.

well, the cab’d be over $100? and I have failed entirely at meeting anyone lately, which is actually a really good reason TO GO ... and yet

*sighs*

syzara answered your question “[[MOR] on the one hand I said I would do the thing I want to do the...”

Ugh. I hope you can soothe the anxiety gremlin enough soon so you can brain more usefully <3 (does that make sense? to me it does)

that absolutely makes sense! and same here. and thank you. <3

jadesabre301 replied to your post “So I’m giving up on the to do list of doom for awhile And taking a...”

why is she upset with the show? (yessssssssssssssssss ticking off CC)

evilsapphyre replied to your post “So I’m giving up on the to do list of doom for awhile And taking a...”

I watched the first season but I just couldn't go for a second. (Even though I adored Magnus. <3)

lafemmedarla replied to your post “So I’m giving up on the to do list of doom for awhile And taking a...”

Baths are yay! And CC is mad about the show's success?! Go show go.

I have lost track of all my links, but apparently yes, she doesn’t get much extra from it doing well, and she has absolutely No Input, and their attempts to be Not As Racist and Homophobic as the source material have from all accounts been effective and also made some subset of fans recognize some of the gross shit CC does?

‘Cause I didn’t watch it when it first came out, because FU CC. But if it makes her feel bad I’m all for it.

Also the cast is just so precious. (Especially Magnus. And Izzy. I may add to this list as I get further along. Though, if I didn’t already know what was going to happen in Simon at some point here in S1, I’d be a little annoyed at the S2 banner that gives it away? I mean, I get WHY but it’s kinda giggle-snort-obnoxious at the same time.)

ameliacgormley replied to your photoset “alexanderbanes: magnus bane + waistcoats”

YES WATCH IT!!! WATCH IT AND GUSH WITH ME! (okay parts of it are bad in the beginning but a lot of it gets better, and Magnus and Malec are the source of all things wonderful and good in this world and you need it in your life!!!)

I AM HAVING A LOVELY TIME, THANK YOU FOR THE ENABLING/ENCOURAGEMENT YKWIM

shadoedseptmbr replied to your post “in other exciting gods this is such a fucking monday news I offered to...”

***many hugs*** to be honest both my kids have a huge fear of those Dyson dryers that...move your skin around? Nightmares for both of them the first time and I know my daughter is just like No, I have hand sanitizer in my pocket

I used to do that? I have gotten out of the habit I should get back into it, it is a lot easier on everyone

jessaknits replied to your post “in other exciting gods this is such a fucking monday news I offered to...”

Ooof, I feel you with this day. Also re: children and noise yesterday we sat in the back row of the airplane and kiddo CRIED every time someone flushed the toilet for like, the first hour. Because it was a horrible sound, honestly.

UGH. SYMPATHIES. That sounds like The Actual Worst *hugs*

shadoedseptmbr replied to your post “30 for Maia please! (I think you didn't get that one yet?) <3”

Leah totally sympathizes with Lucy

*angry Ryder fist-bump*

elfyourmother replied to your photoset “New Dollmaker = Hello there, Hawkes. <3”

i'm seriously playing with this one now, haha. I love the updated rococo maker! (good lord do I love Theia's gown lmao I want it for myself)

ISN’T IT GREAT? Gosh, I love new dollmakers :D (I LOVE YOURS TOO. I am making those my fault. AH MARI <3)

argei replied to your photoset “New Dollmaker = Hello there, Hawkes. <3”

if only Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts was like this!

I KNOW, RIGHT? WE NEED SOME BALLGOWN FANCINESS TYVM BIOWARE.

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thesinglesjukebox · 4 years

Video

youtube

CAMILA CABELLO FT. DABABY - MY OH MY

[3.77]

So let's all pull together...

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I like Camila Cabello. I like DaBaby. I even like songs about daddy issues as much as the next person. But "My Oh My" is an unfortunate misfire I'd like to forget. Camila tries to sound playful and sexy but comes across as mischievous and malicious; DaBaby sounds stale having reached 2017 Quavo levels of oversaturation, and the lyrics are only one step removed from Charlie Puth's "Mother." The result is downright creepy. [3]

Brad Shoup: While I wait for American top 40 to get happy, I'll settle for creepy. That two-note, haunted-house horn-and-organ motif, Cabello's cackle, the backing vocalists that remind me of Cab Calloway's guys... it's like some ancient delinquent-teen pulp story. Both performers glare at me like I'm one of their parents or something; no one's pretending they're not just singing about sex; it's refreshing, honestly. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Camila Cabello could do well with songs like these, the kind suitable for theatre productions. She gets close to making her affected vocalizing feel meaningful, but the cheap signifiers (he wears leather jackets! Her mom doesn't trust him! She swears she's a good girl!) aren't ever fleshed out. Even a little more would suffice! As is, she sounds like a half-decent actor working with a poor script. Her histrionic vocalizing is missed. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Camila is best when she's being melodramatic (cf. "Find You Again"), and the vaguely haunted vibes work to her favor here. It's deeply underwritten -- the first verse is just a list of outdated bad boy symbolism -- but charming nonetheless. DaBaby helps a lot, though. He's become pop rap's best guest star over the past year, capable both as a rapper and as a cardboard cutout of a rapper. He's in latter form here, playing up his central casting edgy heartthrob appeal without saying all that much. Camila, to her credit, plays the duet partner well too -- her adlibs and harmonies during DaBaby's verse help "My Oh My" work as more than just a generic singer/rapper collab. [6]

Alfred Soto: The production interference -- call and response vocals, fine, but echo and chants too? -- doesn't irritate me so much as Camila Cabello's rank Britney imitation. Go ahead, wink and tease with a cyborg's flair, 2018's élan is gone. [3]

Thomas Inskeep: Someone as incapable of sounding sexy on record as Cabello really shouldn't try to do sex songs. I mean, the way she preens on "My Oh My," she sounds like a robot; the lyrics don't help. DaBaby stops by to collect his Hottest Rapper of the Moment paycheck. [2]

Alex Clifton: It's Havana 2.0: Bad Girl Edition, but Young Thug's feature was way better than DaBaby's verse. It also suffers the same problem as "Havana" did, which is that it gave Camila a great verse and then the rest of the time she's relegated to the chorus, so her role in her own song becomes repetitive. Such a missed opportunity for a bigger, meatier story. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: The title's every bit as queasy-making as it was when Troye Sivan used it, and it would be fantastic if songwriters just zippity-do-didn't. The track itself sounds like a blatant attempt to remake "Havana," except when it sounds like a blatant attempt to re-animate a DJ Mustard RnBass skeleton from 2015, and except when that goddamn title keeps showing up, an Interrupting Choir lurching in after every line with a doomy, inappropriately heavy thud. The lyric is the same good-girl-gone-bad-but-don't-worry-not-that-bad! stuff of "Dirrty" and "Can't Be Tamed," except even less convincing. (Not that the alternative wouldn't be terrible in its own way, but it's so telling how the lyric is careful to specify that the sex-having, good-time-liking hellspawn she's dating is just a little bit older. You know they sell leather jackets at LL Bean, right?) Everything about "My Oh My" (😑) is garishly, hilariously off-brand, but it'd maybe have a scrappy charm coming from a D-list YouTube tryhard. Why is it instead coming from Camila Cabello and Frank Dukes? Why is this bid for urban radio crossover instead being sent to Hot AC(?!?!?!?)? Why did DaBaby bother making his guest verse so much better than the surroundings? [2]

Kylo Nocom: Maybe I'm just taking those "hey" chants and running with them, but the otherwise unnecessary last 30 seconds suggests "My Oh My" as potential Mustardwave in a different universe. Good fun regardless, and I'll be very happy if (when?) DaBaby becomes the next go-to feature for pop hits. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: Nice, slowly descending bass and slithering synths with popping, dribbling drums that bubble like strawberries in oatmeal, and sharp, trigonometry bars from DaBaby... Oh wait, there's Camila. She does OK, but the crowd vocals are iffy and weigh down her hook too much. [4]

Joshua Lu: If you're going to make a song that's 50% chorus, could you at least make the chorus less dull? The echoey hook feels shoehorned, and by the fourth go around it becomes actively annoying. DaBaby, bless his heart, does his best to inject the song with some momentum, but the fun of his verse is forgotten once the chorus' plodding pace overtakes the song shortly after. [3]

Leah Isobel: Camila's sweet-and-sour voice lends itself well to good girl posturing, because she always sounds a little bit like a baby. She knows it, too -- this is yet another track where she plays the ingenue laid low by love and/or lust, overwhelmed by the force of her own desire. It's a classic pop idea, but "My Oh My" doesn't really do much to expand on it; she can barely be bothered to describe the guy she's supposedly ready to risk it all for, and DaBaby comes off more as a rascal than a threat. One wonders why her parents don't like him and why Camila herself seems to think it's sexily debasing to go out with him... oh. [3]

Oliver Maier: I think, in retrospect, I was having a bad day when I gave "Shameless" a [1]. This is a [1]. "My Oh My"'s misjudged attempt at a seductive mood winds up feeling like slapstick, with a bassline that shoots for "Camila and her boyfriend tiptoeing around her parents" and arrives instead at "Scooby and the gang tiptoeing around a haunted mansion". Almost every decision truly baffles me: the back-and-forth on the chorus is lifeless and genuinely unpleasant, Camila SCREAMS the line about being a good girl, offbeat hip-hop "hey"s are stuffed into the final 20 seconds and convey absolutely nothing. DaBaby enters halfway through like a firework set off at a funeral, and predictably sounds like the only person having any fun. [1]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Camila Cabello #DaBaby #pop #music #music review

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