#I just do a lot of random stuff while procrastinating on homework | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pemfrost · 3 years

Note

For the bingo what about spideydevil hogwarts AU . Good luck on your bingo!!

Thank you if you do it.

Thanks for the prompt :D

So, this is like 3 times longer than I wanted to make these bingo fics lmao. Oops 🤷‍♀️. It still could use some polishing, but I'm terrified that Peter will find another plot thread if I poke at it anymore.

Bingo fic 1/?

As much as he devoted himself to studying, Peter could not bring himself to care about Divination. The whole class reminded him of cringe inducing hacks he'd seen on t.v. growing up. Except, no one was jumping out with hidden footage to debunk it. Everything appeared hollow: randomness assigned meaning. And, while Peter didn't often procrastinate, he found it harder and harder to work on his Divination homework the more weeks that passed.

There was one silver lining, though. Another student, one he'd held a torch for from afar, was in the class with him. That too, turned out to be hollow and meaningless until today. Despite having a class together, Peter still had no real reason to approach Matt. However, he stumbled into the opportunity in his usual Parker way: completely on accident.

His procrastination on his Divination assignments reached a plateau, and, despite his ability to work quickly under pressure, Peter was late to class. When he'd finally made it -ten minutes late and scribbling the last lines on his essay- he'd thought the repercussion would be a lecture. Or detention. The usual stuff Hogwarts professors liked to through his way.

Instead, the professor welcomed him to class in her airy way and quietly assigned him a partner for the project she was currently guiding the class through. "Ah, Mr. Murdock, please join Peter for the remainder of class."

By stoke of luck, Matthew Murdock had been an unlucky third wheel in another group, and made no fuss about changing seats. His usual partner was in the infirmary; the exact cause was the subject of many rumors. Peter was rather fond of the theory that Foggy was involved in a fight with the group of slytherins who often tired to bully Matt, but anyone involved was keeping their lips zipped tight.

It wasn't a glamorous impression, but Peter was thankful for the opportunity.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Matt crossed his ankle over his knee and leaned back in the cozy chair across from Peter. He nodded to the steaming cup of tea in front of him, raising an eyebrow.

Peter nodded, then mentally kicked himself and verbally answered, "Yeah. I read over the basics last night."

It was a basic tea leaf reading, and the set up was quite straightforward. The professor was kind enough to provide hot water and a selection of tea leaves at each table. Though, she did note they would have a better reading with their own supplies.

"Good. I started my tea already, so you can read mine while yours-"

"Mr. Murdock." The professor tapped the cup in front of him with her wand. "You must start over. The leaves are easier for your partner to interpret when they are brewed just for them." With a flick of her wand, his cup was replaced with an empty one and she glided off towards another set of students.

Matt sighed and reached for the tea selection, deftly selected Earl Grey and pinched a healthy amount of leaves into his cup. Peter followed suit, choosing one at random without reading the labels.

"Don't you care for tea?" Matt's gaze was slightly to the left of where Peter sat, his face not giving away his thoughts.

"I do, I'm just not picky." His pulse quickened. This was the most they'd spoken in years. He watched Matt's hands as he poured the hot water into their cups, tracing the calluses earned from long hours in the greenhouse.

"Now we wait." Matt sat the pot back to the side of the table and leaned back in his chair.

The tea would need to steep for at least three minutes. There were many things to do during that time to ensure a good reading, or so the professor said. Holding the cup and thinking about what you wanted the leaves to tell you seemed like a good option, but Peter really didn't believe in fortune telling enough to meditate over his tea. Another method was to talk to the person who was going to do your reading. And the third, and one Matt seemed keen on, was to silently wait and let what happens happen.

In Peter's opinion, silence was something to be broken

"Uh," Peter shifted nervously as watched the steam rise from his cup, "how is Foggy? That was a hell of a match last night, shame he missed it."

"He's fine." Matt's voice was flat. "He should be discharged in time for dinner."

"That's… good to hear." Peter eyed him nervously. Matt was a year ahead of him and in a different house, meaning they had very few direct interactions. Yet, Peter knew a good amount about him. Or, rather, he knew what the Daily Prophet said and what he'd observed with his own eyes didn't always match and had drawn his own conclusions.

Coming from a muggle family meant Peter had very little frame of reference for most things, and he could only try to compare having an Auror as a father to having one who was a cop. Matt was a third year when his father was targeted by a group of dark wizards and Matt was caught in the crossfire.

Peter, always in search of knowledge, desperately wanted to know which curse caused Matt to lose his vision, and which spells gave him a sense of the world around him. As far as he could tell there was no braille equivalent in the Wizarding World. He didn't ask, of course. He had more sense than that, even in the pursuit of knowledge. He wanted to know Matt first, because he seemed like a cool -and handsome- guy.

Even if he was callous enough to just ask, it wasn't like he had many opportunities to do so. This was actually their first class together in Peter's six years at Hogwarts- and would be the only one since Matt would be graduating in a few months.

Despite having no real social interactions, Peter was well aware of Matt, and would have been even if his story wasn't in the papers for months. The very first time Peter stepped foot into Hogwarts, he was so enthralled with the majesty and magic of the castle -- until he spotted Matt. It was silly, and, even though Peter couldn't name the sensation back then, that moment stuck with him.

Peter had read everything he could prior to entering Hogwarts, dreading being behind his peers who grew up in the Wizarding World. His heart was set on Ravenclaw, drawn in by the lure of knowledge and like-minded students. That was until he locked eyes with Matt from across the hall and, for a brief moment, yearned to be adorned in red and gold. Reason won, and he was proud to be sorted into Ravenclaw. But, part of him always wondered.

"Thank you." Matt's voice jolted him from his reminiscing.

Peter wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve thanks, so he deflected with a joke. "Hey, I'd be thankful too if someone rescued me from the 'Dream Couple'. More like 'Most Annoying Couple'." He tapped his index finger on the table towards students Matt was originally teamed with, rolling his eyes at how closely they sat together.

A small chuckle escaped Matt and Peter's chest puffed with pride. Matt was such a serious person, he hardly ever smiled or laughed, and then it was almost exclusively with Foggy.

"For that, too, I suppose. I meant to thank you for being the only person in this class… probably the school… who hasn't ask me… about… it."

Oh. Peter looked away, embarrassed by how many questions he truly wanted to ask while simultaneously reeling from the fact Matt apparently paid enough attention to notice. "It's not my business. Besides, there's way more things I'd like to pick your brain about."

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Like?"

Peter opened his mouth to list off a litany of botany questions, but was cut off before he managed a single syllable. The professor stared down at them, "It's been long enough, time to drink your tea, be sure to do your rotations. Read the leaves immediately, take notes on your findings before looking up their meanings. Then, give your reading to your partner. Ideally, you will know each common symbol by heart by the end of the term, but for now use your books."

They dropped the conversation, following her instructions and downing their tea. Peter was pleased with his random choice, noting hints of citrus.

"Here," he pushed his empty cup towards Matt. As he took Matt's cup, he wondered how Matt would read his leaves, but didn't ask.

Peter peered into Matt’s cup, trying to find patterns in the chaos of leaves. Eventually, his eyes focused on the task and he could make out what he thought were symbols. He wrote down his list and set the cup and notebook on the table.

Across from him, Matt was focused on Peter's cup. He ran his wand over it, then his hand, then with a flick of his wand his quill automatically made a note.

"You'll have to teach me that sometime," Peter said before he could stop himself.

Matt paused, lips pursed.

Peter continued, "If I could direct my quill to write, it would save a lot of time when I'm trying new potion ingredient substitutes. The constant starting and stopping to note every step and change I make is such a juggle."

"That's pretty dangerous," Matt said with an amused lilt to his voice. "Though, I suppose teaching you that would make it slightly more safe."

"Yea, it would be negligent for you not to," Peter's heart raced as he teased the handsome student across from him.

"We should probably do the readings." Matt shifted, "But we'll figure out a time that we're both free, yeah?"

Peter nodded, "Yeah."

"I'll start, if that's okay."

"Uh, yeah. Did you need to look up your symbols? 'Cuz I have no idea what some of these mean."

Matt heaved a large reference book into his lap, "I'm doing it on the fly. Let's see…" He waved his wand over the pages and ran his index finger over the text.

Peter didn't put much stock into fortune telling, but he was curious what Matt would read in the leaves.

"So, your leaves are interesting. There is a small ring or letter 'O' at the top, so either a love interest is close or you have something important with someone with an 'O' name." He continued on without waiting for Peter's reaction or input, "There is a spider that spans both the present and future, which could mean you have a choice to make soon which will have a huge impact on your life. But, there is a smaller thing that could be a spider, too? So maybe you have a lot of choices to make?"

Peter shrugged. The close love interest piqued his interest, though he was more curious what Matt would say about it. Maybe he would be given a beacon of hope, a sign that Matt noticed him too.

"Ah, and this at the bottom! It's a very clear anchor, meaning a stable future." Matt tilted his head towards Peter, "You do not seem impressed with your reading."

"Nothing personal, I just don't think these things are more than carnival tricks and fun games."

"Fair enough," Matt chuckled and set his notes to the side, folded his arms on the table and leaned in. "Now mine."

Right, Peter had to figure out Matt's. He pulled out his own book and looked over the page of symbols. "Well, let's start with what I know without reading paragraphs of contradictory symbology. So, there is a ring -or 'O'- at the bottom and it's pretty big. Future relationship? Or someone with an 'O' name? And there is a smaller one of the same in the present."

He paused to look at his notes. "Uh… I think this is a ladder? Which means travel in your future. And a Knife in the future meaning a fight. Umm, I wrote down a snake, but it could be a worm? Which… is a bad omen or a secret enemy."

Peter glanced up at Matt, and was about to apologize for accidentally reading a bad future for him when the Professor approached their table.

"Ah, let's take a look, then, shall we?" She gently plucked Peter's tea cup up from in front of Matt and swept her eyes over the leaves. "Oh, my. You have a small romantic notion towards someone that has lasted a while but hasn't grown into anything more. You have several challenges which will appear in the near future and your decision to take them on or ignore them will drastically shape your life. Those choices are why a lot of your future is fuzzy, but if you remain true to yourself there is great prosperity and even greater love waiting for you."

She looked over Matt's notes and pointed out the symbols he missed. Peter sighed, he was ready for the class to end. At least he had his study not-date with Matt to look forward to.

"Let's have a look at the other one," She said as she lifted Matt's cup from where Peter set it. "You have a recent romantic notion, it is small and very new, but you will have a journey before it can grow. There are a lot of small victories in your future, but they can be overshadowed by betrayal. I see a powerful romance in the future, but it could be lost if you're not careful."

Matt seemed to hang on every word, but quickly folded his arms when the Professor finished her own reading. Was he taking it seriously? Peter made a note to ask later. There were some interesting parallels between their readings, giving Peter a sliver of hope of his feelings being returned despite the absurdity of fortune telling.

"Overall, not bad for your first times. Keep studying, there will be a practical component to the final." With that, she drifted towards another group, leaving Peter and Matt to clean up.

"You're a muggleborn, aren't you?" Matt wasn't looking at him, but Peter could feel the weight of his attention pinning him to his chair. "Foggy is too," Matt added quickly, "and has the same opinions on this," he waved his hand generally.

"Ah, yea. It's a bit… "

"I get it. Don't worry, no judgment here. Still, the reading was a bit uncanny."

Peter huffed. "It's easy to assign meaning to a vague set of events."

"Is that so?" Matt tilted his head.

"We're teens, so it's not uncommon to have a crush. And everyone has a journey at some point, or choices to make. That's life. And it's not unusual to get married later in your life."

"True." He calmly began to clean the table. A swish of his wand and his cup was clean. "So, you do not deny liking someone."

Well, that was unexpected. Peter sputtered, searching for a string of words to put together as his pulse raced. "I- well- that's- I-"

Matt had the audacity to laugh at him, and the sound alone was almost enough to make Peter's embarrassment worth it. Almost. "Why so embarrassed, I thought it wasn't uncommon?"

Peter busied himself with clearing his side of the table. "So, you're not denying it yourself?" He leaned into the hope the conversation sparked, imagining his feelings being returned. Tea leaves be damned, Peter made his own fate, and if he was given the chance there was no amount of future-telling that could ruin what he felt for Matt.

Their conversation dropped when the professor requested everyone's attention for a short lecture before the end of class. It was important information they would need for their test, but Peter's attention drifted to Matt. By the upward tilt of Matt’s lips, he was well aware of Peter's distraction.

There was a flurry of activity after class, and Peter didn't have any chance to speak with him further. However, Matt was true to his word and sought Peter out over the weekend. The weather was fair, creating the perfect opportunity to study together outside and away from the prying eyes of their classmates. They found a shaded area and set up their makeshift study session under the shade of a tree.

"I think I got it." Peter waved his wand over a fresh piece of parchment, whispering the spell Matt taught him. The tree bark dug into his back, and Matt’s cologne was distracting, but he could feel the tingle of the spell working. His quill sprung to work, jotting down a few lines of potion ingredients before sputtering out and falling to the page. As it rolled to the side, he sighed and leaned his head against the tree.

"It takes practice to keep it writing longer, but you've done more than I expected for your first lesson. You really are every bit the genius they say."

"People talk about me?" Peter was top of his class, but he didn't think his grades warranted discussion with the 7th years.

Matt shrugged and knocked his shoulder into Peter's. "I may have asked around."

Peter's heart somersaulted. "Oh? What, uh, else did 'they' say?"

"That you're a smart ass."

Peter nodded and leaned towards Matt, "Go on."

"Peter…" Matt's breath ghosted over his cheek sending a thrill up his spine.

"Matt…" Peter continued forward, gently pressing his lips against Matt's. For a brief moment, Matt pressed back; then suddenly there was a large distance between them.

Peter's lips felt cold.

"Sorry. I-"

"Don't be, I-I kissed you." Peter fumbled to put his quill and notebook into his bag. "I thought-"

"Peter." Matt's voice was soft, unsure. "It wouldn't be fair to you."

Peter stared down at his notes, trying to make sense of what Matt was saying.

"I graduate in a few months." He held up a hand when Peter started to protest, "and I've just been accepted into a school in Germany. I leave right after graduation to get a head start with their summer law program."

"But-"

"We would have an expiration date, Peter." Matt's eyes were closed. There was a rigidness to his posture which made Peter suspect there was more he wasn't saying.

"Ok. Then just friends."

Matt inhaled sharply, like he hadn't expected Peter's reaction. "Friends. Yea, I'd like that."

With that, they settled into a rhythm for the rest of the school year. Studying together when time allowed, ignoring the tension between them whenever they accidentally touched. Whenever the tightness in his chest returned, Peter reminded himself of their tea readings and imagined a future where they shared a happy ending.

----

Woo, thanks for reading!

There is a part two I'm working on where they reunite as professors several years later. I actually started that first then switched gears when Peter made a reference to their past. Hopefully I'll finish it soon so it's not so much of a cliffhanger lol.

#spideydevil #peter parker #matt murdock #Hogwarts au #spiderdevil #pem writes

51 notes · View notes

totallytododeku · 4 years

Text

☁ studying together ( x reader hc's) ☁

characters: midoriya, bakugou, todoroki, kirishima, yaoyorozu, uraraka, + ashido

genre: fluff <33

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

I. Midoriya 🌳🍀🌻

this poor boy is so excited to be spending time with you

but he will not take his nose out of his textbook

he can't help it

he's so happy to be in the hero course he takes his schoolwork a little too seriously

however, you can use this to your advantage ;)

normally you're almost as invested in his journey to becoming the next Symbol of Peace and achieving his dream as he is

and you would never dream of doing anything that could jeopardize it

So you were silently bouncing off the walls with glee when you realized he was impervious to distractions when it came to studying

literally anything is fair game

which is why studying with him is your new favorite time of day

pet his hair

kiss his cheeks

climb into his lap

pat his head

hold his non-dominant hand

hug him from behind his chair

rest your head on his shoulder and take a nap

do whatever you want

you can basically do anything to him while he's studying without having to worry about distracting him

he will blush a little bit of you kiss him but but you think it's adorable

lol turn on whatever tv or music you want

but only if you're done with your work!!

hes very adamant that you keep up with your work as best you can do you can graduate side by side and be pro heroes together someday

K. Bakugou 💣💥 📢

he would totally be the one to invite you to study and he would probably want to study in his dorm

it's super quiet and nobody will bother you guys because they know it's that spiky gremlin's room

overall his room just has a really relaxing atmosphere

you love being near him as much as possible

and he's much more affectionate in the comfort of his dorm room

but that doesn't mean he's gonna go easy on u ;-;

he still has his gruff attitude and will make sure you're studying every day

or else he will call u baka and force you to sit down and study until you know all your material

he's actually a great tutor tho

he writes out all the work for each problem and explains them thoroughly

all while holding in you in his arms while you sit in his lap

sometimes you can convince him to play a game with you where every time you get an answer right he gives you a kiss

but you whine when you get one wrong and he won't kiss you

he huffs before giving you a kiss while still trying to look annoyed

stupid girl he mutters

but he pulls you a bit closer to him to hide his blush and moves on to the next problem despite your giggles

S. Todoroki ❄🔥🍜

he doesn't really need to study but he doesn't know how to just .. relax

like he doesn't know how to not do what his dad tells him to do

and his dad wants him to study

it's just easier for Todoroki to do what his dad wants than to rebel

that is, it was

Until he met you and the dekusquad

obviously everyone cares about their homework and wants to graduate well and go Plus Ultra!

but study sessions with Todoroki usually end up just being you guys trying to help him be less hard on himself while you have him as a captive audience

he doesn't really mind, though, especially when it's just you two

the intimacy of studying together in comfortable silence and just

enjoying each other's company

makes his heart go (*￣∇￣*)

like i said he doesn't really need to study so he'll just end up helping you review material

please just ... hold his hand :)

after you're done studying for the day just pull him into a hug and over to your bed

he needs a nap

you feel warm fuzzies inside from how caring he's been to sit with you while you finished your homework and bring you warm tea

you don't even think you just

Time for cuddles :3

it becomes your daily ritual to study together and then cuddle

he always falls asleep in your arms with a small smile

E. Kirishima 🗿🗿🗿

(HAHAHSHNSJ THE 🗿 EMOJI OMG I'M LITERALLY SO FUNNY LOL I'M CRYING)

"Okay, Y/N, let's study hard and do our homework like men!" *fist-pumping the air and grinning like an idiot*

"...what's so funny? "

he doesn't care if you're not a man it's his trademark

he likes to study at his desk because he says it's "important to stay focused and work diligently"

generally he is the least focused person, ever. besides kaminari.

however, he's so energetic and enthusiastic that once you sit down and start studying he'll be able to keep your motivation up until you've finished all your homework

GREAT at studying for tests and quizzes (in theory)

he will never give up

like I said he could keep studying for hours once he sets his mind to it

So you have to compromise and get him to study in short bursts throughout the day to help him have a better chance of remembering anything ;-;

his memory is not great but it's kinda cute

you, being the smart cookie that u are, realized the best way to help him memorize things was to study with flashcards frequently throughout the weekend while doing other activities

so you plan to hang out together and do something fun every week while having your study material on index cards in your back pockets

it's a literal study date.

a weekly date out to the mall or the park or a little coffee shop but with math trivia thrown in randomly throughout the afternoon!! :D

Of course he was ready to turn it into a game he's a literal puppy

he just wants to show you you can be proud of him

you giggle lightly when you hear him say that and let him know that you'll always be proud of him, no matter what

M. Yaoyorozu 👑🏆☕

studyblr wants what u have.

studying in momo's room makes you feel like a Victorian young lady studying moral philosophy, writing poetry about the mourning doves outside the garden window, and waiting for her husband to come home from sailing the seven seas

it's your Belle moment where she's in the royal library except it's every day

stacks of beautiful, old books

the smell of the crisp, white pages

soft classical music floating through the air

the window cracked open slightly

and you are the luckiest student in all of UA because you get to study with the smartest girl in the whole school

she's also gorgeous and sweet and perfect which def doesn't hurt

u know that joke that ur teacher can spend a year explaining something and u never understand but then a random indian guy on YouTube explains it in 2 minutes and you finally get it

she is that random indian guy

you will never struggle with a single concept after you start studying with her

And she's so proud of you for every little question you answer correctly

(even thought she's the one that explained it all so well in the first place)

it's the definition of comfortable silence

she insists that neither of you study too hard and that you take lots of breaks to stretch

she says its to help you stay concentrated but really she just wants to feel your gentle hands on her shoulders as you massage out the knots

you take turns kneading the tension out of each other's shoulders

you feel a pleasant tingle down your spine at the feeling of her soft breath on the back of your neck

She pulls away and you share awkward smiles, neither of you realizing the other one of blushing, too

(((*≧艸≦)ﾌﾟﾌﾟｯ

O. Uraraka 🌜🚀🙏

ur actually super productive study buddies

Like u started studying together and then all of a sudden you were almost at the top of your class

she's just so sweet that being with her gives you the energy you need to write that essay all in one sitting instead of procrastinating like a normal person

Shows up at your dorm with snacks and drinks to keep your energy up!! :D

even though she's still going to end up getting sleepy anyway later in the afternoon

You get most of your studying done at the beginning of your study date so it's not really a problem

you know she doesn't have a lot of money to be throwing around so you pay for dinner every night

It's usually takeout but sometimes you guys make your own dinner for fun!

it always turns out almost inedible and burned because neither of you were paying attention to the stove

don't let baku see it or he'll start screaming about how you need to try your best at everything so he can beat you fair and square and that includes cooking too

neither you nor uraraka can handle spicey food so you never eat what Bakugou cooks for the class

You grab a few bags of chips and some sushi and shut yourselves in your dorm to pull an all-nighter study session about once a month

it should make you tired but, again, studying with her is so enjoyable that you don't mind

u two enjoy each others company in studying so much that you sometimes read ahead in your textbooks just to be able to study more

overall, hanging out with her is just lighthearted and filled with giggles

and you just so happen to get all your homework done along the way

M. Ashido 👾👽🚿

"studying" with her is so much fun

Hanging out with Mina in general is so much fun

it's impossible not to smile when she's around so even if you have a huge exam tomorrow, all your worries fade away just from being with her

She is pretty distracting in cases where you actually wanted to get stuff done

But you don't care

Change of plans

you're doing mani pedi's with Mina

No more studying

it's not as bad as it sounds though

You're not slacking off or anything and you can still keep your grades up with help from your other friends like Momo and Iida

you guys are just goofing off in the privacy of your dorm room when you should be studying

"It's not a crime to be young, Y/ N ;)"

she's just so energetic and happy like a little pink ball of sunshine

you can't help but laugh at her silliness and cute antics after a long day of classes

she makes your heart beat faster like you're on a roller coaster but without the nerves

somehow you feel giddy and comfortable in her presence at the same time

it doesn't matter what you two are doing, you always have fun

make sure she goes to bed on time, though, or she might end up baking a seven-tier cake at 3 am and Bakugou will scream at you for waking him up

don't feed her after midnight lmao

i started writing this after i almost died of boredom in my online calc class. my senioritis is already kicking in and it's still September (｡-ω-)

#boku no hero academia x reader #bnha x reader fluff #bnha headcannons #bakugou katsuki x reader fluff #midoriya izuku x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #shoto todoroki #Uraraka ochako #uraraka ochako x reader #Mina ashido x reader #yaoyorozu momo x reader #yaomomo #Kirishima eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader fluff headcannons #study date #hc

256 notes · View notes

agustdef · 3 years

Text

VIBE

Pairing: Yoongi x Trans!Reader

Genre: Angst; Fluff; Friends to Lovers

Word Count: 12.4k

Warning: Cheating (not by the pairing); Brief Sexual Content; Mental Health; Mention of Emotional and Mental Abuse; Mention of Mental Health

Rating: NC17

Banner Marker: @guktro

Lovely Beta Reader: @guktro because he’s a persistent little thing and wanted to be the first to read it.

A/N: The fic was written for @guktro and takes place in my I Found You and With All My Heart universe. With that being said, I must say that this portrayal of of trans man was written with Gray in mind and to fit his feelings/what he wanted. So, while I apologize if this makes you feel unrepresented I will not deal with any invalidating of Gray’s feelings towards his own identify.

YN rushed to class after sleeping through the first five alarms he set. He’d meant to get up early, but after a night spent focused on getting a side project done he’d fallen asleep early morning. He scolded himself as he sprinted into the classroom, but at the same time he couldn’t help but be pleased with himself. His burst of late-night inspiration meant that he’d completed the graphic work he’d been tasked with, a thing that kicked his ass for weeks before that night. And it also meant that he had extra money deposited in his bank account by the time he woke up that morning.

A win.

Well, a partial win because the look his professor gave when he just barely had his butt in a seat as class started lessened some of the joy.

There was no time to linger on any of that though because the moment the professor started talking it was full steam ahead. They’d entered another section of the course, which brought them all closer to designing a website completely from scratch. That meant the coding, art, font, almost everything had to be crafted by them.

It was something that excited YN, but also made him extremely nervous seeing as the end product would be the deciding factor of their final grade. Plus, it was going to be done in pairs and despite having attended school their all undergrad, he wasn't buddy buddy with anyone in his classes or his major for that matter. All his friends were in different majors or different schools. Which meant it would be a random person and goodness knows the odds of that person being a team player were low.

However, he tried to keep positive or at least his friends tried to keep him positive. It didn’t help, so he’d just decided to act like it wasn’t a thing until it was. Something that worked until halfway through the class when he heard his professor mention how he’d out of the partners right that moment.

Panic was not a strong enough word for what YN felt as his head snapped up to look from his laptop screen to the front of the class. His eyes scanned the projection on the wall and he held his breath as he did, hoping that whoever the hell it was wasn’t a total shit show. When he found his own name, part of him wished that he’d had a total shitshow instead of who he got though.

After reading the name he turned his head to look towards the back of the room and his eyes met Min Yoongi’s. Yoongi smiled at YN and tipped his head, something YN did in return so not to be perceived as unhappy before turning around again.

But YN was unhappy. Well, not unhappy because he thought bad of Yoongi or anything, but because the man made him nervous as hell. He’d been in most of YN’s graphic design classes since he’d arrived in Korea and a distraction since day one. YN thought that he was ridiculously cute and then as time went by the attraction grew as he watched him go from pale, flawless skin to his arms covered in tattoos. Something about seeing all the art on him heightened things for YN and made him more of a flustered mess around him. All without having never spoken to him before.

Not that YN hadn’t tried. With bullying from his friend’s, but that day as he’d approached “to ask about the homework” Yoongi was joined by a Black woman that YN had seen around him a few times. They’d smiled at each other, linked arms, and walked away from campus as YN reached the halfway point. It left him a tad heartbroken to see that he hadn’t managed to even say hi and that Yoongi may have had a girlfriend.

From that day on YN continued his thirsting from a distance and leaving it at that.

The project pairing meant that he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore and he was unsure of how that would play out, but for the rest of the class time he told himself he could get through it. The reminder that he had a grade to worry about was enough to give some faux confidence.

That wore off as soon as Yoongi approached him as they were dismissed.

“I rented one of the computer rooms for something else, but would you mind heading there with me right now? We don’t have to get any real work done, but it could get the whole expectations part out of the way,” Yoongi said.

Startled, YN only found it in himself to nod and then off they went. Yoongi led the way out the building and to one several feet away that was filled with private rooms for students to rent for course work. They checked in and went into one of the computer rooms on the lower floor.

Yoongi didn’t say anything at first, just unpacked his stuff and booted up the computer. And that left YN awkwardly sitting in a chair next to him, his bag clutched against his chest as he waited. He didn’t know what to do next and that was more about the awkward first group mate meeting then it did any attraction that he felt.

Once Yoongi was done with all his prep he sat in the other chair and turned to YN. He must have sensed the tension because he smiled wide, one of those gum showing ones that YN had seen once or twice when he was talking to his friends. It had a strange calming effect.

“You already know, I’m Min Yoongi,” he said, his hand held out.

YN was a deer in headlights for a second, but soon enough reached out to grasp the hand.

“I’m YN LN.”

“Nice to meet you, YN. We have other classes together, right?”

“Yes, we do.”

Conversation fizzled for a second after that and the awkward tension returned, but Yoongi didn’t allow them to sit in it for too long.

“Okay. I know I said we wouldn’t do any actual work today, but do you have any ideas for what we should make the site for?”

The next beat of silence was because YN needed a second to think, before remembering that he’d made a list in the beginning of the semester, so he’d have it. Without saying a word he unlocked his phone and searched through the notes app to find it. Once it was on the screen he handed the phone over to Yoongi.

There was a look of confusion on his face before he glanced down at the screen and saw what was there. He looked over it for a moment before handing it back.

“We have some of the same ideas. I thought about using this as an excuse to build something for my shop and portfolio, but we don’t have to do that. Don’t want to make it seem like I’m trying to get unpaid work out of you.”

That piqued YN’s interest.

“For your shop?” he asked.

Yoongi nodded. “Yes, I work at a tattoo shop.”

“Ah. Then we could do that. Doing it for a real thing always makes it easier to get the work done. And at least here payment would be a grade and something to add to my resume as a real in use website. But I’d also take a tattoo as payment,” YN said jokingly.

At first Yoongi appeared taken aback, but then his smile returned.

“Anything you want.”

A shift happened in YN and he relaxed a lot more, even putting his bag on the floor.

“Cool, you have any specifics you want to try for?”

And from there they just talked, bouncing ideas off each other and cracking the occasional joke. It was an easy flow they had going and by the time they thought to save some things for a later date in mind an hour had passed.

YN cringed when he saw the clock. “Sorry, for eating into your room time.”

Yoongi waved him off.

“It’s fine. It means I can’t procrastinate and will get something done before my sister comes to meet me for a late lunch. She’ll kill me if I don’t get it done,” he said.

Thought of his own sister made YN frown, but he pushed away the thoughts and gathered his stuff to leave. He turned and smiled at Yoongi, then waved as he backed from the room.

“Text me your schedule and we can figure out when to meet again,” YN said.

Yoongi nodded and they both turned away from each other, but just as YN pushed the door open Yoongi called out to him. Confused, he turned back to see Yoongi’s brows furrow as if in that.

“What’s up?” YN asked.

“You go by he/him, right?”

Discomfort built in an instant as YN was unsure of the reaction that would come with his answer, but he nodded his head and Yoongi smiled again.

“Okay, just making sure so I don’t use the wrong thing.”

With that they said their goodbyes again and YN left, but he left with a happy feeling inside him. He’d moved past the need for outside validation of his gender, but it was always nice to feel someone being considerate. Especially when that person was someone he’d never told before and had to have heard it through the grapevine. He knew how easy it was to misgender him because his appearance screamed feminine and he had no impending plans nor made an effort to make his transition physically apparent.

It was just nice for it to not have someone make a big deal out of it.

So, he walked away from that first meeting beyond happy with the way things went and confident about the project. Which was how he felt after every meeting after that and even on the day that they presented their project.

Everything had gone so well and he only had one regret: Not getting a chance to know Yoongi much outside of their assignment. But the semester was over and YN was so busy with school, work, and life that he barely even had the time for his friends.

And the next thing he knew he was on a plane on the way back home to the US.

###

The moment YN stepped into his apartment he wished he hadn’t. He’d closed the door gently as not to rouse his boyfriend who worked the night shift, but when he turned to face the living room he saw that the man was already awake. In fact, he was awake and he had company.

On the couch sat Sam and between his legs was some “friend” of his with his dick halfway down her throat. The sight didn’t startle YN and he barely had the energy to be upset about it. Especially when both of them realized he was there and could only look like a deer in headlights. Well, Sam was pretending to care that he’d been caught, but YN saw the way he fought the little smirk that wanted to form on his lips.

“Oh, my goodness,” the girl said.

That was what made YN focus solely on her and he remembered her from a few group hang outs. She was a sweet girl who was newer to the group and Sam liked to hang around her lot, though she always seemed to put distance between them when he got too close. It seemed like she’d given up on doing that.

“I didn’t know you lived here,” she said.

“So, if I didn’t it was okay to give oral to my boyfriend?” YN asked, his voice empty.

She shook her head profusely and rose to her feet, fixing her clothes as she did.

“No. My goodness no. Sam… he, well he said you guys broke up. I wouldn’t… I’m not the type to…”

Her scrambling to find an excuse should’ve given YN some sort of relief or reassurance that she wasn’t a horrible person, but he felt nothing. He merely held up his hand to get her to stop and walked back out of the door without another word to either of them.

He’d planned to get in a quick lunch nap, thus coming home when he did, but that was out of the window. So, YN walked around aimlessly until he stumbled upon a cafe. Once inside, he ordered something and found an empty booth away from everyone.

The first few minutes were sat in silence with him merely staring at the other bench seat blankly. He didn��t speak or move until the barista brought over his drink and sandwich. A brief thank you and then he began to nibble on the food, hoping it was enough to focus his mind on something else, but it wasn’t.

All he could think about was the disaster that was his life.

When YN returned to the US he saw it as temporary and as a means to help out his family. His mother struggled a little and he wanted to help, plus he’d missed them since he hadn’t had the chance to go home during his undergrad. Things were fine for a while, but then they all just became so mean and uncaring about his feelings. His mother tried, but sometimes she was just the worst. And his little sister was rude and acted like she hated him or at least that’s what it felt like. Every second of the day it was her trying to undermine and trash talk YN, get the others on her side. And while YN’s brother wasn’t like the other two, he wasn’t the most helpful in saying anything when they ganged up on him.

It was horrible for his already not that great mental state and at some point he was pushed too far. The only option for his own health and safety was to leave, but he poured so much into them it was hard. After talking to a friend back in Korea they got him a plan to go back and he saved as much as he could for the ticket. And the moment he had enough his bags were packed and he was on a plane there.

From there he stayed with friend’s, though as they all progressed in life and started dating seriously or getting engaged it became harder for him to do. Thankfully, he had started dating and as he prepared to find someone else to move with Sam offered for them to stay together. YN had been unsure, there was a gut feeling he didn’t listen to, but living with a boyfriend prematurely was better than being homeless.

So, he moved in, but things dissolved quickly. Sam was trash. His manipulative nature became more obvious and though YN could see it, he was really into him. Certain things were let go or blatantly ignored and that gave him incentive to get worse. YN had found him cheating twice and he’d let Sam talk him into staying both times, but things were still bad. Especially as he became disillusioned and realized he had to stay until he could find a place he could afford to live.

Seoul was expensive and even on his great salary he couldn’t afford it. So, he endured it. Dealt with Sam’s bullshit and tried to remind his heart that Sam wasn’t good for them, despite how they still acted as if they were a happy couple.

Life refused to give him a break and with everything crashing down he’d flirted with returning to the US, but that was no better than staying with Sam. And he didn’t want to be there, he wanted to be in Seoul. But that didn’t stop the thoughts as he sat there and ate his subpar sandwich at the cafe he hated.

All he had to do was have a few friends go to get his stuff with him, stay with them for maybe a day and take the next plane back home. It was that easy, though nothing about it felt easy. Especially as he reminded himself he didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want his joy ruined by someone else.

Which meant that before he spiraled in a public place he needed to pull it together and check apartments again. He’d done it on the train ride back to his apartment and found nothing, but things changed.

After several deep breaths he pulled out his phone and scrolled through all the possible apps for housing. Unsurprisingly nothing that he’d rent alone was in his price range that he could do, which frustrated him and almost made him put his phone down but he pushed forward. He’d accepted a long time ago that he would need a roommate, so he narrowed his searches for those kinds and found a few, but they were mostly creepy or still too much.

That’s when he was really ready to give up, but then the app he was on glitched and refreshed the page. Annoying because he had to scroll all the way down again, but also a heaven send. As he re-scrolled he stumbled upon a listing that was below what he was willing to pay and in a great neighborhood close to his place of work.

YN had never moved so fast to look through the pictures and see what other information the person had to say. The room that would be his was spacious, had great windows, and a wonderful view. Plus, the rules laid out weren’t overbearing.

A simple scroll to the bio of the owner, Sidney, had him even happier because he saw a picture of a Black woman with a kind smile. She explained she was a resident at a prestigious hospital and her last roommate moved out, so she needed someone else to help pay the bills. And there was a direct line about not minding gender at all as long as you were a decent person.

For once life appeared to be on YN’s side, so he scrambled to message Sidney through the app giving the required info about himself and making it clear that he could come to meet her as soon as she was available.

He hoped for a response before he got off work, but what he didn’t expect was one ten minutes later as he left the cafe. She told him it was an off day so he could come after five. YN responded quickly that he got off work at fifteen minutes after five and could be there by five thirty. Sidney replied with a confirmation and YN went back to work with a pep in his step and some hope.

However, that hope turned to nerves as he made his way to the apartment. He even debated not going in once he reached the building but persisted and made his way up with the mantra “you got this” playing in his head. It was effective enough that by the time he knocked he believed it.

The door opened a few seconds after his first knock and he was greeted by the woman who’d he’d seen in the picture. She smiled at him.

“You must be YN,” she said.

YN nodded. “Yes, and you’re Sidney.”

“That I am. Please do come in.”

Sidney motioned YN inside and he paused to kick off his shoes before following her further into the apartment. It was so much nicer in person and he felt himself get excited at the thought of living there but had to remind himself that it was possible he wouldn’t. He had to get along with her after all and just because she seemed nice didn’t mean that she would just let him stay or actually was nice.

“I can show you around and then we can sit and talk or the other way around, whatever you’d prefer. Also, a random man may appear at some point, he does not live here but insists on invading my home anyway,” Sidney said, her voice grew louder as she said the last part.

“Oh, shut it,” a voice shouted out in the distance.

YN was confused at first, but also amused by whatever dynamic Sidney had with the mystery man who was supposedly an unwelcomed guest.

“Tour first is fine,” YN said.

“Tour it is then. You can put down your bag and we can start in the kitchen,” she said.

Without looking YN sat his bag on the couch and followed closely behind Sidney. She walked him through the space, pointing what was where and what was what. Every room got a somewhat detailed explanation, even the empty room that could be his. It was weird how in-depth Sidney was for showing someone who hadn’t been given the go ahead to live there yet. But YN assumed it was just how she was or some way to ensure that the person knew a lot before making a choice themselves.

Five minutes later they finished and walked back out to the living room where there was suddenly someone on the couch. YN assumed it was the person Sidney had been calling out before and shrugged it off.

“Okay, now we’ll sit down and talk for a bit. Get to know each other,” Sidney said as she plopped down onto an armchair.

“And if you aren’t some creep I get to ask you questions too,” the man said.

Something about the voice was familiar, but YN didn’t know just how familiar until he finally walked around the couch and could see the man’s tattoos and then his face. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes grew wide as he stared at him.

Yoongi’s reaction was practically the same, going from an intimidating glare to a fish out of water.

“YN?” he asked.

“Uh, you two know each other?” a confused Sidney asked.

All YN could do was nod as he thought about what kind of craziness was his life.

“Um, yeah. We went to college together. Had a lot of the same class and he even helped me build the shop's website,” Yoongi said.

That’s all it took for Sidney to join and create a trio of shocked expressions.

“He’s that YN?”

For some reason that snapped YN out of his momentary glitching as he wondered what she meant by that, but by the glare Yoongi leveled her with he was sure he’d never figure that out. Though Sidney appeared unphased by his clear displeasure and simply shrugged. Which was met with a roll of the eyes before Yoongi focused on YN again.

“I thought you went back home,” Yoongi said.

YN took a moment to clear his throat before nodding. “Yeah, I did. But the plan was always to come back and I did that two years ago.”

“Oh, that’s good. Glad you got to come back,” Yoongi said, a wide smile on his lips.

As he’d learned years back Yoongi’s smile could make anything feel okay and all the nerves and confusion YN felt before he smiled were pushed to the wayside.

“Well I’ve made my decision. You can move in,” Sidney said, disrupting the moment.

Both of them nearly broke their necks turning to look at her, eyes nearly popping out of their heads.

“W-what?” YN asked.

“You have a job and the ability to pay rent, right?”

“Yes. I’m a section leader at LE International. I can even show pay stubs if you’d like.”

“Then that’s that. Yoongi clearly isn’t opposed to you and that’s good enough for me. You can move in whenever.”

“Even right now?”

“If you want, but is that all you have to move in with?” Sidney asked, tone cautious.

Unsure of what to say YN simply shook his head, but when neither of them said anything or pushed he felt the need to give an explanation. Plus, he was let in without any issue and so he felt a sense of comfort with them.

“I do have more stuff, but it’s at my old apartment and going there isn’t a good idea. At least not right now,” he said.

At that Sidney and Yoongi shared a look for a second before Sidney turned to YN and smiled at her though it was a tad unsettling, much different from the ones she’d directed YN’s way before.

“When do they leave the apartment?” she asked.

Startled, YN looked at her for a long time before answering.

“Um, he’s off tonight but works again in two todays,” YN said.

Sidney nodded before turning Yoongi. “Call Kookie, Namjoon, and hell even Jin. Those wide ass shoulders of his are intimidating all on their own. Tell them to meet us here in fifteen.”

Yoongi didn’t say a word, just threw a reassuring look YN’s way before leaving the room to make the calls.

All of it happened so quickly that YN took a second longer to process it all.

“Oh no, you don’t have to ge-”

A shake of Sidney’s head shut him up.

“Two days is much too long to be without your stuff and even if it wasn’t it may not all be there if he sees you aren’t coming back. I know I’m overstepping a bit and I can call this all off, but you deserve to be in an environment away from whatever it is you’re trying to escape and that means without fear of never getting your stuff back. So, we can proceed and even go alone if it makes you more comfortable or stop it here.”

A warmness filled YN and he felt his shoulders shake a little as tears he didn’t know he held back fell. People he barely knew were being nicer to him than of those he’d known for years or his whole life. And they were prepared to go up against her ex for him without a single question asked. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders.

“Please help,” he managed to mutter.

Sidney nodded and carefully moved closer to YN, asking before she touched him and then easing him into it before pulling him into a tight hug. Something YN didn’t know that he needed until it happened.

Once they got him calm and their friends arrived they headed out to YN’s ex’s place. He was nervous the whole way, but the entire thing was a bit of a blur. They got there, their friend’s Jungkook and Namjoon appearing behind YN was enough to keep Sam at bay and the others packed up his stuff. There were a few words from Sam, but any time he shifted the wrong way Jungkook took a step forward and he shut up. It was a weird switch from the sweet-faced tattooed kid she’d met at Sidney’s and the one ready to kick his ex’s ass if he breathed wrong.

Everything was moved out and Sam had his key back within about thirty minutes. And they were back at the apartment soon after that. They all helped YN unpack his stuff and get comfortable in his room, even ordering his favorite food for dinner.

By eleven that night he was curled up in his new room, in his new apartment, and for the first time in a while he felt like things clicked.

###

Comfort wasn’t something YN easily found, but it settled in after the first two weeks of living with Sidney. Though she was very busy most of the time with work and school life, she went out of her way to make sure YN was okay and taking proper care of himself. And all her friends were just the same.

After week one of being there he’d met the rest of the friend group, which consisted of Taehyung and Jimin, who he knew from work. They’d been nothing but kind and didn’t push him to tell his life story. All they requested was that he tell them when they crossed a line or truly didn’t want to participate in something; and they’d backed off quickly the one time it happened.

From there it had been so easy to mesh with them, come out of his comfort zone, and just live his life without worries of his ex or where he’d live next. Months passed so quickly and he hadn’t endured a panic attack at all.

It was a nice change of pace and put a bit of a pep in his step.

After a night of watching movies and a morning of breakfast made by Sidney who came off a twelve-hour shift and who apparently craved a mountain of homemade blueberry pancakes. YN didn’t complain because for one it was food he didn’t have to make and for two he hadn’t had pancakes in over a year. So, consuming all that crossed his plate was a must. Though as he traveled to work regret in the form of drowsiness settled in quite a bit.

All that left the moment he stepped in front of the work. Though he’d been working there a while it made him quite anxious to go in every day. He loved his job and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but sometimes that feeling was enough to make him want to try and freelance or something so he could avoid offices and a team of people.

But that wasn’t why his demeanor changed when he arrived. Oh no, it was the two men who stood off to the side of the main doors that did that. Or more so one of the men that was there.

Jimin and Yoongi stood in front of the building with smiles on their faces as they talked together about something that appeared beyond hilarious from the outside looking in. They were laughing and wrapped up in their own worlds as they spoke. Not noticing YN’s gawking nor the many others who eyed them up intensely. Though to be fair YN was sure Jimin was used to it from how much it happened daily. However, with Yoongi there and wearing a short sleeve shirt with his tattoos on full display the attention increased tenfold. Which was always the norm when he came in to work with the company on something.

At some point YN found himself drifting from the momentary drooling over how hot Yoongi was to enjoying the expressions of those who saw them. Something he got so wrapped up in that he didn’t notice Jimin calling his name and waving him over for about fifteen seconds.

Once he snapped out of it, he walked over, head ducked as he avoided the prying eyes of those who noticed where he was headed.

“Hey, we’ve been waiting for you. Thought you normally came in earlier?” Jimin asked after they parted from a hug.

YN nodded. “I do, but I woke up to Sidney cooking breakfast. There was so much of it. She wouldn’t stop filling my plate.”

Yoongi laughed at that, the first sound he’d heard after he’d walked over. It had YN staring him down out of curiosity, but that washed away once he pulled him into a side hug. The affection was brief, but still quite nice.

“Blueberry pancakes?” Yoongi asked.

That guess would’ve left YN from months before surprising, but he’d learned that Yoongi and Sidney knew each other creepy well. Like there was being close to someone and then there was this telepathic like connection where Sidney could see the way Yoongi’s nose twitched and was fast enough to get him a tissue before he sneezed and vice versa.

Though he didn’t think about it often YN was quite jealous of their sibling-like dynamic when compared to the one he had with his own siblings.

“Yeah, she said something about needing them before she lost it,” YN said.

Before Yoongi could respond to that both of them were ushered inside of the building with Jimin muttering about needing to get into the conference room on time. They went without struggle because an angry Jimin wasn’t something anyone wanted and being late wasn’t on the agenda for that morning.

Once the three of them were inside of the elevator Yoongi spoke up.

“She does that when she’s coming off multiple twelve hour shifts sometimes. She’ll either pass out or stress cook blueberry pancakes. I think with the school part of her life finally letting up she has enough energy to make the pancakes now.”

With that new information YN made a mental note to learn to make the pancakes so sometimes she could come home and eat them then pass out. He knew she was a stress cooker and baker, but surely the craving for pancakes existed even when she was dead on her feet. So, the chance for her to get the satisfaction of both was something he liked for her. She worked so hard nonstop and deserved nice things.

While YN plotted on how to get her to teach him the recipe they reached their floor and headed out, going straight to the conference they were to meet that morning. When they walked in they were the last ones, but others were clearly still settling in which meant that their entrance wasn’t the focus. They moved quickly to get into their seats and a few minutes later the meeting began.

“As you know we’re taking on work for an upcoming idol group. Usually that would mean very little from us because they have an in-house team of some sort, but this project is out of their depth. They’re looking for some top-notch work with the concept they’re going for. And because they want things to be cohesive you will be working closely to give ideas and creative direction. This is very involved,” Section Leader Kim said.

Everyone muttered words of understanding before she continued.

“Some of you have hands-on experience with prop type things, so you will be in charge of helping conceptualize that and bring it to life. While three of you will be dealing with a lot of their social media and branding stuff. You will be creating from scratch for them to ensure they appear as unique as possible.”

There were more murmurs and then she directed her gaze towards YN, Jimin, and Yoongi.

“You three will be in charge of all things social media and branding. You will craft from top to bottom. I know YN has experience in it and Yoongi has done it a few times before when he freelances for us, many of those times will partnered with Jimin. So, I’m counting on all of you to do this. Understood?”

“Yes,” they all said.

“Good. There is a meeting set with the company’s creative director, the group, and their manager for an hour from now. Go prepare with your best portfolio examples and take the van that’ll be waiting downstairs in twenty minutes.”

In an instant they were on their feet and out of the room. A mix of fear and excitement drove them to go to their desks and grab any printed things they might need as well as chargers for their tablets just in case. Well, Jimin and YN did, Yoongi simply plopped down into a random chair and started going through his own tablet. When YN walked past he saw him copying certain stuff into one file marked with the project name.

Within fifteen minutes they were ready and in the van that drove them to wherever the meeting was.

YN felt the anxious energy that filled the vehicle but tried to keep his own in check. His focus was on his own tablet organizing some things, so they were easy to find when he tried to show them. However, he did that so quickly that he needed something else to preoccupy his mind, so he opened up his coloring app and used the pen to color in the picture of a sunset. The calming effect wasn’t the same as if it had been paper and crayons, but it helped a great deal. So much so that by the time they reached the company building he felt like he was entering a lunch date with work colleagues and not walking into the lion’s den to do his job well enough to please the entertainment company and his boss.

That didn’t mean that he felt confident enough to take the lead though. Yoongi was the one to do that with YN and Jimin following close behind him. They both got so nervous in new, high pressure environments that it was good to have someone else take charge sometimes.

And with Yoongi at the helm things moved smoothly. They got inside, were brought into a conference room, provided drinks, and NDAs for them to sign. No one tried to be difficult nor did anyone side eye them as often happened, though there were lingering eyes on Yoongi’s tattoos. Would’ve been some on Jimin’s too if he hadn’t worn a long sleeve.

Their wait for others only lasted for about five minutes before they were standing and greeting the group of seven. They all introduced themselves and as the introductions took place YN was shocked to learn that the group was the four, heavily tattooed men. He was very here for it, but surprised nonetheless.

Surprises didn’t stop there though. The moment butts hit seats the creative director dove into what they were looking to do. All of it came at them fast and YN barely had time to process the gist of what the hell was going on. It was about halfway that Jimin asked them to slow down a little and they obliged, explaining things in a less excited manner. Once he finished each of the members took a turn explaining what they hoped things to look like.

From there they were all allowed to share their past work and some ideas. They’d received vague information from work so they’d kind of gotten some understanding of what was wanted, but nothing they had truly fit. That wasn’t a problem though, there was some interest in some of the stuff and it was only the first meeting.

Yoongi had finished explaining something to the manager who’d wondered if they could create some sort of glitch vibe to incorporate when one of the members, Hyun, pulled his attention.

“I apologize if I offend you or it’s too personal, but who gave you that tattoo?” he asked.

Yoongi paused before following Hyun’s gaze to the large tattoo on his forearm that was about as intricate as the others, but glitched out and splashed with colors. It was one of YN’s favorites.

“Oh, Jimin did,” Yoongi said while pointing towards the man in question.

That led to them all looking wide eyed at as bashful Jimin buckled a bit under their gazes. There was some nervous energy wafting off him and YN wasn’t sure if it was because they all appeared amazed or because despite major changes to who could tattoo in Korea they were displeased to see it so openly admitted.

YN knew it was the former, well it mostly seemed like the former.

“You do tattoos?” Moon, another member, asked.

Jimin nodded and then cleared his throat before speaking.

“It’s something I do on the side because I like it. I usually work at Yoongi’s shop. He’s a bit of a reverse of me, works full time doing that and freelances doing this.”

Again, they looked beyond shook at the revelation and that was when things truly got rolling as they brainstormed ideas. They took a few pictures of Yoongi’s tattoo and then built off the concept of it. Though YN was not a tattoo artist, nor did he have any, it was easy to keep up since he was around them so often and found them interesting.

Time flew with their newfound excitement and suddenly four hours had passed. Since the group had other things to do they left first and after finalizing some things with them the creative director also took his leave. He said he wouldn’t need anything from them for the rest of the day, but to spend time coming up with things that fit for what they were trying to do for their meeting a few days later.

So, they left on a high note. The issue was that they were so excited and eager about everything they found themselves at Yoongi’s working on things immediately. They’d all taken up space and began working on designs that they could implement for it. They were only going for rough sketches or bare bones ideas to be decided on next meeting, but it was all consuming.

Seokjin had come through with food and forced them to sleep, but they worked so hard to get everything done. And if it weren’t for their excitement to bounce ideas off each other they would have gone all that time with no social activity at all. Not that isolated while submerging yourself in work so much you only had two people to talk to was a good thing.

Thankfully, they emerged from that behavior before Sidney had to make good to come over and kick all their asses. They’d finished everything in time for their next meeting and when that one went well they truly felt like hot shit.

However, they needed to rough draft a website. Something that Jimin knew how to do but not like them, which worked out since he had a few appointments to do and it didn’t hinder progress. Though it did leave Yoongi and YN alone, something that they hadn’t been since their college project. Which meant awkwardness to start before they got into a groove and found the right flow.

It reminded YN of how much he’d loved working with Yoongi back in college, as well as stirred up some feelings he hadn’t thought about. Not enough to say that he truly fell for the man, but enough that he wished he could ask him to accompany him on a non-work-related outing just the two of them.

Luck was on YN’s side though, because the moment that they finished the website Yoongi turned to him and smiled. One that YN returned whole heartedly before raising his hand so that they could high-five. Yoongi rolled his eyes but did it anyway and then there was a shift.

Instead of releasing YN’s hand he held onto it and stared at him for several, long seconds before he finally said anything.

“I’m going to say something and please tell me if I’m crossing a line,” Yoongi said.

“Uh, okay.”

“I know that it hasn’t been that long since the whole crazy ex thing and us reconnecting in a way we hadn’t when we first met. But I want to take you out on a date. To be clear it’s not anything extremely serious, I’ve just been feeling something and I need to act on it before I allow myself to possibly feel anything stronger.”

YN’s eyes went wide two sentences and just stayed that way for a bit. His mind replayed the words over and over in his head, knowing that he’d heard Yoongi right the first time he said it.

“You want to go on a date with me?” he finally managed to ask.

Again, Yoongi’s smile took form as he nodded. “Yes, I do if that’s something you want to do. No pressure, I’ll be fine if you say no. I’ll even be fine if you say yes and we just don’t fully click that way. A no pressure situation.”

Despite the constant reminder of no pressure, YN felt a great deal of pressure but also none at the same time. He wanted the date to go well so he wanted to try to make it work but knowing that Yoongi was prepared to continue as they were if what they thought was there wasn’t was a relief.

Probably the chillest request for a date he’d ever gotten. Definitely from the chillest person he’d ever encountered.

“Yes, I would like to go on a date with you,” YN finally said.

Yoongi’s smile getting any wider felt impossible but it did. His expression and body language screamed happy and that only enhanced the joy that spread through YN after he’d said yes.

“Anything in mind?” YN asked.

For a moment Yoongi’s lips formed a pout as he mulled it over and then his eyes lit up as he seemingly figured it out.

“There’s this temporary restaurant and art gallery in Incheon. They have some of the work by that one artist you said you liked recently. You could meet me at the shop after my last client on Saturday and we could go. If that’s something that interests you,” he said.

All it took was the mention of seeing the artist Bri’s work for YN to be on board with the plan in an instant.

“Yes. Fuck yes,” he said.

Laughter escaped Yoongi at the response and he nodded. “Saturday it is then.”

YN went home sometime after that feeling a kind of lightness and genuine excitement that he hadn’t in a while. And he didn’t care if it only lasted a few minutes or hours, he savored it.

###

The entire time YN got ready for the date he’d been calm. There were no worries or internal meltdowns, no matter how much closer he got to the actual meet up time. He’d gotten up from his binge watching of Nura: Rise of the Yokai Clan and showered, then dressed without issue. Didn’t even overthink what to wear, just found something that he deemed date appropriate and casual. Though he did pause for a moment to thank the heavens that the dress code for where they were going was relaxed.

Even as he applied his make-up and waved bye to a half away asleep, still in scrubs Sidney on the couch on his way out he was fine. It was a miracle and he was so happy to not be beside himself, but naturally that all came crashing down.

As he approached the last stop on his train ride he noticed a few people gathered together laughing and talking. They’d all been there since the stop before, but YN paid them no mind as he played a game on his phone. But an extra loud laugh drew his attention and when his head lifted to glance there way he realized he knew them. It was a collection of some of his old friends, ones who’d let them stay with them for a bit and were also the reason he’d met his ex. And with them was aforementioned ex.

A discomfort built in YN’s stomach, not from seeing them but from the idea of confrontation. Despite clear attempts to block him and keep away, Sam had made it his mission to pop up someway in YN’s life for a few months before vanishing completely. And though he’d given up, YN knew him to hold a grudge and be persistent. If he saw YN there would be some attempt to talk and with people to back him avoiding him was hard. But YN told himself he could do it.

YN looked away from them and focused on his phone once more but made sure to keep alert just in case they saw him. He made sure he had everything he came onto the train with, moved his purse from his lap to crossbody, and held his phone firm with Yoongi’s number at the ready.

The moment the train came to his stop he stood and moved past them quickly, keeping his head down and his eyes averted. However, the train jolted a little harder than usual sending him stumbling into one of them a little. He did his best to offer a quick apology and then turned back to the doors willing them to open faster. And when they did he bolted out of there just as his name was being called out by Sam.

People around him were startled by the person sprinting through the station and up to the surface, but YN didn’t stop until he was across the street from the station and amongst a group of people. He paused to catch his breath and ensure he hadn’t been followed out of there and when both of those things were clear he made his way towards the tattoo shop. Thankfully, it wasn’t far from the train station.

As he walked there the adrenaline from that close call left him and made way for the nerves that had remained at bay all day. It was as if they’d been awakened by running into people he wanted to avoid, though something told him it was more likely they’d just been waiting for the right moment to strike. What better moment was when he was only a few hundred feet from the shop's entrance.

One more time that night YN found himself pausing to pull it together, words of encouragement and surety repeated in his head to get him to make the final steps. And once he got in front of the door he was calmer, though not as much as he preferred.

“You got this,” he whispered just as he pushed the door open.

Upon entering he was greeted by Jimin who sat behind the front desk and Jungkook who’d just emerged from one of the back rooms. They both wore genuine smiles, clearly happy to see YN and that was enough for the incident from several minutes ago to leave his brain. People who actually cared deserved more of his focus than anyone else.

“Hey, he just finished up and is cleaning his space. You can go back there if you want,” Jungkook said after a brief hug.

After he hugged Jimin he headed on back without a word. He’d been to their shop a few times and it wasn’t hard to find things. Yoongi’s room was the last one in the hall and when YN reached it he took a deep breath before knocking on it. There was silence and then a soft come in before he proceeded.

When YN opened the door he was met with Yoongi wiping down his chair and the strong smell of a bleach laced cleaning substance. It made his nose wrinkle and he almost backed out of the room, but he got used to the smell quickly.

“Hi,” YN said.

Though that was the natural thing to say YN beat himself up for saying it. Something in him said he could have said something cooler, but he knew damn well trying to be cool or appear chill or whatever the hell he wanted to go for was stupid. Also, Yoongi didn’t give a fuck about that anyway.

Stopping his efforts to clean off the chair, Yoongi stood tall and turned to smile at him. It was wide and though there was a trace of tired etched into his face it didn’t detract from the genuineness of it.

“Hey. I’ll be done in a few minutes. Just want to make sure things are good since I don’t come in tomorrow.”

YN nodded. “That’s fine. I’ll just stare at this wall for a while.”

Yoongi laughed at that and then went back to cleaning.

And true to his word YN proceeded to stare at the wall. But it wasn’t like it was blank, the thing was covered in some of this work. Yoongi tended to make prints of his favorite pieces or the ones that spoke best to his ability and put them framed up on walls. Which meant that the space was beautiful and YN could get lost in examining them all for hours. He’d tuned out Yoongi, Jungkook, Jin, and Sidney talking the first time he laid eyes on it because he was so swept up in it all. They’d all taken faux offense to him ignoring them, but all voiced understanding of why. Their compliments had Yoongi turning red by the end of it.

Something was different about the first time though. At first YN couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but a few seconds later he realized a piece had been moved and there was a new one in its place. While the other had been a drawing the one in its place was a chunk of text. It was in a beautiful script that one would deem impossible to do so fluidly on skin, but Yoongi had achieved that.

Once YN got past that he noticed that it appeared to be words from Puck’s final monologue in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That made him laugh, but also got him thinking about something that he wanted that was similar. He’d wanted a tattoo when he was younger and then as he grew up and dealt with life the urge became stronger, though he had more direction than before.

While thinking he hadn’t realized how far he’d drifted until Yoongi pressed a hand to his lower back.

“See something you want?” Yoongi asked.

Instinct told him to push the idea aside and tell Yoongi it was nothing, but his mouth and brain seemed to disconnect on the matter.

“Just thinking about how I’ve wanted a tattoo for forever. And this one just makes the urge all the more real.”

There was no response at first and that made YN start to doubt sharing that, but when he turned to glance at Yoongi he saw a thoughtful expression.

“How about we do one?” Yoongi asked after a few more moments tick by.

“Now?”

“Now. I still owe you a tattoo, don’t I? Plus, we can go to the exhibit another day. Though if you don’t want to spend our first date getting takeout and getting a tattoo then we can do it later.”

For a moment YN thought about it, but then realized there wasn’t much to think about at all.

“Yes. Let’s do that.”

And that’s all that was needed to get Yoongi smiling again and guiding YN over to his desk where he sketched out the tattoos. They dove into Yoongi’s portfolio for inspiration, but nothing fully stuck no matter how much YN loved it. After who knows how long they ordered dinner from a nearby sushi restaurant and even as they ate they focused on finding the one.

It was frustrating and YN felt a bit bad about using their date like that only for them to come up with nothing. He’d planned to voice that thought, but then suddenly Yoongi cleared all the stuff and pulled out a pencil and a sketch pad. Then he turned to face YN, expression serious, something that YN had grown used to while they worked together.

“What’s your favorite color?” Yoongi asked.

“Uh… blue.”

“Mine too. Favorite cliche tattoo?”

“Song lyrics.”

Yoongi nodded along and started writing something on the paper, but he held it so YN couldn’t quite make out what it was.

“Favorite time of year?”

“Winter.”

There was more nodding and writing before Yoongi looked up once more, his eyes fixed on YN’s as he spoke.

“And without giving me some job or basic life goal, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

And surprisingly YN knew how to respond without question. “The hero of my own story.”

That got a small smile out of him and he even reached over to squeeze YN’s knee before he wrote something down and then tore the page out of the book. YN watched Yoongi sit the paper to the side and then him sketching on the blank page under it.

Not a word was uttered as he did so, the room silent and uncomfortable. Of course, confusion filled YN but after all the time spent looking and with the determined look of Yoongi’s face he let him do his thing. Which only lasted for a few minutes before Yoongi flipped the sketch pad for YN to see what it was.

YN burst into tears as he took it in.

Everything about it was perfect despite it being in slightly rough shape. The right words were there and even the more drawing oriented parts of it fit so perfectly and didn’t overtake the words. Goodness, YN couldn’t stop focusing on the words. They just slapped him in the face with how well that fit what he wanted. How well they fit him.

Gathering himself was hard, but he managed to make it clear to Yoongi that he loved it and that’s what he wanted. Yoongi wanted to comfort him, but YN waved it off and after making sure that all was fine he got to work getting it drawn on his tablet so he could print it out for stencil.

All of it happened so fast from there, they’d found a spot for it and how it would lay and YN was in the chair ready to go. Yoongi had all his stuff ready to go and the buzz of the tattoo gun brought YN back to, but something was different then.

The euphoria from finding the right thing and finally doing something he’d wanted for years was still there, but there was that voice in the back of his head poking at it. It’s what he wanted and he knew that wouldn’t change, but something just felt off. Like it wasn’t the right time for him to be getting it. Like he wasn’t ready for it.

“Wait,” he said just before Yoongi’s needle touched his skin.

Thankfully, Yoongi heard him just in time and pulled away, turning the gun off and setting it down on the table. Though there was clear confusion on his face he didn’t say anything, just waited for YN to be ready for whatever the next thing was.

His kindness and patience made YN feel guilty and a little bit stupid. He’d gotten a date with Yoongi only for them to not go on the planned one because of some whim that YN had and couldn’t go through with.

“I… I want the tattoo, but I just can’t right now. I don’t know what the fuck it is, but I just… something is telling me that right now isn’t the right time. And I hate that because I know I love it and want it, but I’d hate to have the joy of getting it clouded by whatever weird shit is happening in my head. And I hate it more because we could have been finishing a really great date doing something we both enjoy instead of spending hours doing this only for me to chicken out during the last second. It’s unfair to you. And I’m so, so, so sorry, Yoon.”

YN’s ranting would’ve gone on longer if the guilt hadn’t increased once he realized that he’d been talking for a bit and was definitely going to keep going if he wasn’t stopped.

Following his little spiral there was silence before Yoongi reached out and held both of his hands with his own. He waited until YN looked up at him and then gave him a gentle smile while his hands squeezed YN’s lightly.

“I’m the one who offered out of nowhere. I’m the one who decided to make this a consultation kinda date. I made those choices and I stand by them. We found something and you’re not ready and that’s fine. It happens to a lot of people. Sid almost got the tattoo on her side about ten times before she finally went through with it. And she was as sure as you were about this one, probably cried just as much. I’ve had clients even do that a time or two, it’s not a big deal I promise you. We ate food, we spent time together, and though it was frustrating at times I had a good time with you. I promise. Plus, I already said we could retry that date another time. So, unless you no longer want to go on another date with me, then we can still do that.”

Relief was not the right word for what YN felt after that, but he couldn’t think of another word for it. At least not until he found himself leaned forward with his lips pressed against Yoongi’s. He was unsure if he initiated the kiss, but all that mattered is that Yoongi returned the kiss without hesitation.

When he pulled away YN found the right word for what he felt.

Bliss.

###

Several dates followed the first one and they’re all great. The initial date plan never happens because after the night they were supposed to go, the pop up ended sooner than it should have. That made YN feel even more guilty about changing their plans, but after a great afternoon spent at a festival it was forgotten. Especially with how well things went.

YN and Yoongi clicked in a romantic way. They both felt it and weren’t shy about the growth in their affection towards each other nor their feelings.

However, despite their dating for over a month neither of them had made the move to make things more official. Which wasn’t really necessary since they and everyone else knew they were together, but it didn’t stop the odd thought here and there about if Yoongi genuinely wanted to commit to YN. And he was sure Yoongi had the same thought whenever he went to introduce YN and stumbled on what to call him. Neither of them said anything though.

Everyone thought they were being stupid, including Sidney, but they let them work out their stuff at their own pace. Even if their own pace was two idiots not just addressing the one thing that could remove any inkling of doubt, while knowing the other is thinking it.

It would have gone on longer if on the day that YN and Yoongi were going on yet another date, Sidney was too. There was a doctor that she’d been sleeping with that she sometimes went out with, though usually only as a preface to sex. After an incident where she had to explain to him that anal beads were not in fact candy, things had been strained and Sidney said he’d asked her out to get closer again. She didn’t see it becoming much more, but she also wasn’t against trying so she’d agreed.

As she’d parted ways with YN after they left the apartment there had been an offhand comment from her telling YN to ensure her boyfriend didn’t eat the cookie dough she had sitting in the fridge. The recipe called for a two-day waiting period before baking and she refused to make another batch just because Yoongi was a fiend.

Usually YN brushed off the label, but it stuck with him that time and he felt his mind go into overdrive as his cheeks burned at the thought. Yoongi was not his boyfriend, but he wanted him to be and that meant that he was going to have to ask him. He needed a plan to do that, but just as his brain got to working on one Yoongi’s car pulled up.

The thought was dismissed as he hopped in and Yoongi leaned over to give him a quick peck on the lips before pulling away from the building.

For a moment all YN thought about was how soft his lips were.

That was until he realized he was unfamiliar with the route being driven and didn’t even know what the date was supposed to be.

“Uh, where are we going?” he asked.

Yoongi shook his head immediately. “I didn’t tell you for a reason. You’ll find out when we get there.”

Naturally, that made YN pout, but he didn’t press him for it.

“I would joke about you taking me somewhere to kill me, but you’re too lazy to dispose of a body. Unless Sidney didn’t actually go on a date and is waiting for you and my dead body at a second location.”

At first Yoongi laughed, but then his brows furrowed and a frown formed upon his lips.

“She has a date? Please tell me it’s not with anal bead dude?”

All YN did was sigh and that elicited a groan of annoyance from Yoongi. He didn’t care for the man and that was before the aforementioned incident. There were many times he’d told YN, Sidney, their friends, and the man in question how stupid he thought he was. And how he didn’t understand how he managed to get Sidney to be around him for more than two seconds, let alone became a doctor. It wasn’t the most he’d disliked one of the people Sid was with, but it was apparently up there on the top of the list.

“You know she isn’t even into him that much, so I don’t know why you’re so worried. Not like she’s going to marry him suddenly. She’d probably marry Jin before anyone else. They mesh,” YN offered trying to placate him.

There was a huff from Yoongi and then a nod. “True. Or Hoseok, they would probably be good together. If they ever stopped being busy when the other could finally come around.”

“One day.”

From there conversation fizzled and YN stared out of the window watching the world go by. Minutes ticked by and then they were pulled into a parking lot and headed to a train station. Even as YN realized the direction they were headed he couldn’t figure out what it was they were going to do.

Which was fine since they reached their destination and he would have never guessed it in a million years. And he was beyond happy about that.

They stood in line at a place that wore the sign of the artist he’d wanted to see the work of and from the windows he could see it was a similar pop up to the one they’d been meant to go to. The pieces were different, but it was still a set up for dining amongst the works.

YN was so shocked and giddy that he didn’t utter a word until they were seated at a table for two and waiting for their waiter to return with water.

“I didn’t know they opened another one. I’d been hoping and stalking their accounts for it, but nothing ever came up. Not even yesterday. This is so fuckin’ cool,” he said.

The ramblings of joy didn’t stop there, YN continued on gushing about the artwork and about how much he loved being there. And there were several thank yous thrown Yoongi’s way, all of which he waved off.

There just hadn’t been something that excited him like that in a while and he couldn’t shut up about it. Not that Yoongi seemed to mind. They still had a back and forth, Yoongi putting his two cents in and sometimes being the reason for why the conversation shifted in one direction or another. Though it was mostly about the artwork and sometimes about how good the food was.

Before YN knew it they’d finished dinner and began to walk around to look at the art. Though the entrance area held some there was another room down a short hallway that gave more of the feel of an actual gallery. The things hung in there had a similar feel to the things in the dining space but were vastly different. The artist tended to be more traditional with their stuff, but the things back there were more digital.

And right then YN fell more in love with their work and Yoongi found himself entranced by it for the first time.

At that point they were kids in a candy store calling over the parents every time they found something that they loved. It was chaotic, but they both had enough patience to wait for one another to come look at what they were talking about.

They were beyond adorable. But they were also so caught up in the work that they didn’t realize how much time had passed until there was an announcement of five minutes until closing. There was some pouting on both their parts, but they understood and turned to go hand and hand.

Until YN stopped suddenly.

Confused, Yoongi stopped too and turned to glance at him. He was met with a wide smile, but a determined expression. It clearly worried him and he opened his mouth to speak, but so did YN.

“Is somethi-”

“Will you be my boyfriend? Also, can we do the tattoo tonight?”

The first question had Yoongi choking on air and missing the second one.

“Repeat that,” he said.

Seconds ticked by with YN saying nothing, because despite the confidence during the initial ask, he felt his nerves kick in hard as he was requested to say it again.

“Um, well I asked if you would be my boyfriend and if I could finally get that tattoo.”

More silence came as Yoongi’s mouth opened wide and closed repeatedly, the poor man was doing a terrible fish impression. It would have been funny or something to tease him about in many situations, but all it did was make YN nervous as he waited for an answer.

Thankfully, the suffering only lasted about thirty seconds before Yoongi pulled it together. He pulled YN close, their faces inches apart and then answered.

“Yes,” he said before closing the distance and pressing a kiss to YN’s lips.

It was a gentle, yet passionate kiss that made YN melt into his embrace. He never wanted to leave that moment, but when they pulled apart he couldn’t stop the happy feeling that filled him. Which was only amplified by Yoongi’s bright smile.

They would have stayed like that, but then the two-minute warning came and they realized they needed to move. But before they left Yoongi turned to YN.

“Also, that was yes to both things if that wasn’t clear. I’ll text Kook in the car.”

And just like that they were off. They practically sprinted to the train station and then to the car once they got off the train. There was a buzz of adrenaline surrounding them and it didn’t start to lessen until they stepped foot inside the shop.

Though Yoongi still appeared incredibly happy and ready to conquer the world, YN found himself deflating a bit. Each step towards Yoongi’s room brought on nerves and by the time his butt hit the seat of the tattoo chair he felt like he was halfway ready to sprint out of the room.

All the feelings from when they chose the tattoo came back and he was there unsure of whether to go through it, despite really wanting to. It was a recipe for disappointment and he didn’t want to chicken out again, but his brain wasn’t being kind.

The shift in him went unnoticed by Yoongi until he turned to him with the printed off stencil in hand. When he saw YN’s downturned lips and the tense behavior he frowned.

“We don’t have to do this, you know,” Yoongi said softly.

That almost broke YN, because he was being so sweet about enduring YN’s indecisive ass twice in a row. It was too nice of him and it only made YN frown more, but instead of guilt flooding in certainty did. Something in YN shifted and drowned out the other voice being a pain in his ass and suddenly a smile graced his lips.

“No. I want to do it,” he said.

Of course, Yoongi appeared unsure for a moment but after staring him down he nodded and got to work.

Alcohol pads were used to wipe down YN’s arm and then the stencil was placed. It was done a few times to get the right placement, but when it was just right on his forearm Yoongi proceeded; with caution though.

He allowed YN to choose the music and asked if he was sure, then grabbed the gun and turned it on. The first mark was a tense one for both of them, but as time went on things grew more relaxed and went along smoothly.

The tattoo in question wasn’t that big, but it had some intricate details that needed all of Yoongi’s focus. It left YN alone with his thoughts, but he never drifted to a bad place. If anything he was more so worried about how long it would take and trying to play on his phone without moving the arm that Yoongi was working on.

A few hours and one small break later though, the tattoo was done. Yoongi had been able to get it done completely but said YN would have to come back once it was healed to get it colored again just to be safe.

That didn’t matter to YN though. In that moment all he wanted to do was see the thing. He’d avoided looking at it through the process and during the break so he could get the full effect, and that is definitely what he got.

The moment his eyes laid on the tattoo through the mirror his body shook as tears fell rapidly.

On his forearm was a forest of leafless trees. The setting was winter and that could be seen from the snow that was depicted falling down. While the trees were a lot of the tattoo they started before the crook up his elbow and stopped about two or three inches before his wrist. From that point on a plot of blue dahlias among snow took up the remainder of the space. Though the ones they were thinking of when coming up with the tattoo were red, they’d chosen blue because it was something that already brought YN happiness. But it didn’t stop there. Since the dahlias weren’t as tall as the trees it left space above it. So, in the midst of all the little snowflakes were words written in a beautiful script. They were truly the thing that evoked the most emotion from YN.

We'll be in full bloom at the end of these hardships.

Those words resonated with him on a whole different level and though they were bittersweet, all he felt was joy with them. Hope too. Those were things he thought were out of his reach, but he’d finally felt them.

Yoongi, Sidney, their friends, and most of all YN himself had finally helped him see he could feel like life was on his side. And it was the greatest feeling in the world.

127 notes · View notes

weakestguy · 3 years

Text

What to do to stay motivated for exams?

"Dude, I just cant!"

Shouted Abhinav when I asked what’s up with his studies.

"I just can’t sit down, open pages and began to study. The course is too much, so is the pressure. I just want to sit back binge watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and relax. This boards nonsense has taken out the life from me. This is all too much."

And he continued with his anti-exams rant for a while, just like any other student who has an exam in few months.

Almost always attempting to do what you need to study to catch up with reading from previous weeks sounds like a drag.

“Do I understand these texts, too?”

“Am I going to be able to compose something informative and important to me?”

“Am I trying to do the right thing, huh? '

'Am I strong enough to do that?”

“Others tend to be right at the pinnacle of things than I am”

“What if I'm stupid?”

Abhinav continued his rambling. I can’t helped but noticed the fluency of his spoken English, gosh this kid is smart. Even in the moment of panic, and anxiety driven boohoo, he still have the command that makes everyone look him in awe, yet he is completely ignorant about it.

The minute you start filling your brain with useless thoughts like “I’m not enough of this”, “I wish I had this”, “I wish I looked like that”, “I’m too fat to wear that”, “I have no self-control”, “I’m bad at math”, etc. well guess what : you’ll still be bad at math, you’ll stay sad and in months from now you’ll be stuck in the same place.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What can help you when you feel burned out?

Watch a comedy series or movie. Its far better than a motivational video. Relax a lot while studying, let your mind get a good grasp of the concept and then proceed to study.

Do something entirely different. Set aside a time where you don’t study. A time block where you let the sponge in your head absorb the water and regain its natural shape.

Brain dump. Grab a piece of paper and write whatever in your mind. From your fantasy to the urge to kill your teacher, just let it out. Don’t let these ideas take roots in your head. Keep dumping the brain trash. Not only this will help you to increase your focus, but also it will increase your productivity, writing speed, and give room to learn.

Procrastination. We all do it, the urge to keep tasks of bay is just too much to resist. Use your weakness as your biggest strength. Instead of beating yourself over it, do it mindfully.

Use the power of imagination. Don’t think about what will Priya say when you her that your 100%, instead imagination yourself studying Math. Go to bed, lie down and began visualizing yourself solving equations of math and the very next day, you will be filling registers doing all calculations.

Time blocking. This is the method I came across while I was drooling over how aesthetic these crazy-talented youtubers are. The one that publish content on calligraphy, and Bullet journal. For a student, I think this would work. Plan the day-to-day predictable stuff and draw the random stuff on the bars. The bars can be homework, reading, study, programs, etc.

For me, Pomodoro works as a kick-starter. I don’t use it throughout the day when I’m studying but just to start my studying. 45 minutes of focused studying, followed by 15 minutes of break, extendable to 30 minutes.

Reward & Punishment. The thing with this method of taking yourself out of the burnt zone is, it sucks! Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in for eating chocolates after completing 10 question. But, recent study shows that Reward and punishment motivate behavior, but it is unclear exactly how they impact skill performance and whether the effect varies across skills. Overall, we saw little effect of reward on either learning or retention. Punishment had no effect on skill retention. So, try to keep the reward as scoring 100% and punishment as doing 100 pushups or running or something you physically cannot do. The fear will work as motivator to study.

“Study Spots”. Don’t have a fix spot. Study at different places. Not only this will make you independent of locations but also make your neurons stronger and hence you will learn better.

Start with the basics. For examples, if you are solving question of Integration, rote the formulae before solving the questions so that you don’t feel stressed and like you don’t know anything. And then move on the concepts of integration by parts, limits, etc.

These are the tips I and many top scorers I know use to keep the feeling of failure at bay and smash the hell of the exam.

What to do to take a break from studying:

set a time limit

go for a walk

pet your dog/cat/pet

listen to music (that isn't your study music)

take a shower

make a meal or snack

call/text a friend for support

lie down, close your eyes for a bit

What not to do:

watch 10 YouTube videos and then suddenly its midnight

scroll through Instagram mindlessly

if you do this your mind is still working !!! and not relaxing !!!

you’re not really refreshed when you come back!

that’s not a break, that’s procrastination.

but also, we’re all only human, so every few breaks don’t feel too guilty watching a short YouTube video/checking your Snapchat. (Add me: sammathur4)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Footnotes:

Time Blocks

2. Research on Reward and Punishment: The impact of reward and punishment on skill learning depends on task demands

With boards, semesters and other competitive exams around the block, hope this guide helps you.

45 notes · View notes

rivalry-trope-enjoyer · 3 years

Text

Cursed Number (Kazunari)

Ship: Kazunari Miyoshi x reader

Rating: SFW (mentions of alcohol, but primarily fluff).

WC: 2,315

A/N: This is kind of my first x reader that I’ve done in a while, trying to break writer’s block and seeing where this goes <3.

It was something about the dreaded aura that filled the air the moment you stepped into the house. It reeked of strong-scented cologne and body odor all around you. If you had liked parties in the past, stepping into this one immediately changed that.

A man walked up to you with a red cup and masking tape pieces scattered all over his clothes, sauntering his way towards you and walking from side to side. “Hey, you there...!” he slurred his words together before scribbling on a random number on a piece of tape and handed it to you, nearly stumbling downwards as he patted the tape onto your shirt and crashed to the floor. “Now go and have some fun!” he groaned out with laughter.

You already felt extreme discomfort and tried to find a single place on the couch, one that was not drenched in spilled drinks or tipped over dip, cacophonous music bouncing from wall to wall and instantaneously wriggling into your ear. You were afraid to move, everyone around you had seemed so zombified by the overall vibe of the place.

Just as you thought you could finally breathe, after seconds of something happening, a group of college students, some you recognized from lectures immediately started crowding over the couch, not minding your presence, and sticking a bottle flat in the middle of the space.

“Alright, anyone down for some seven minutes in heaven?!

That cursed number.

You thought to yourself, Why does it seem everywhere I go it ends up like this?!

You rose to get up to avoid the game, but immediately the same drunken man that gave you a number blocked the exit, and you were forced to sit dangerously close next to a blonde boy with a sunny demeanor. He laughed as the bottle began to spin, while you cursed at him and the entire party internally.

You watched the glass bottle spin for what felt like eternity, anxiously tapping your foot as surprise, surprise, it landed between you and the blonde boy, and you turned to look at him, but his eyes were elsewhere.

He watched the closet door open ominously, and the blonde man was quickly shoved inside, you practically coming with. It was a dark, cramped space, and immediately terror struck.

The moment the closet doors shut and the lock clicked, you covered your mouth with your sweaty palms in order to keep it down. Panic rose to your throat, and the blonde man next to you tried to speak.

“I know this is all really sudden, and it looks like you aren’t really having a good time right now, aren’t you?” his tone was a warm light in the middle of the darkness you were stuck in, and he immediately shined a flashlight at his shoes.

The space between you two was little, but not uncomfortable enough to let out a blood-curdling scream. You looked at him letting out a goofy smile with a flashlight in his hand. He seemed almost radiant.

You shrugged your shoulders, lowering your hands once you saw he had no awful intent. “I came here on my own,” you sighed.

“Mhm, and I’m guessing it didn’t turn out well?” he continued to talk, but you were stunned at the fact he made no other advances.

You looked up at him in shock, and he took out his phone and a pair of headphones. “You gotta always take a friend with you to these kinds of things! They’re not entirely the safest, so I’m glad I caught you,” he spoke so enthusiastically, it made you forget about the entire situation as a whole.

“Sorry...,” you spoke out awkwardly, space closing in between you guys as he took out his phone to an empty contact space.

“That’s alright! My name’s Kazunari, I’ll go by Kazu, or whatever nickname you feel like using later. If you need a friend, we can add each other on Instablam,” he laughed after, and immediately became contagious, causing you to let out a little chuckle.

You instantaneously reached out to the phone, but hearing the laughter outside of the closet made you remember that once you two get out of there, it would rain hellfire.

Kazunari noticed the panic that rose to your face, and he swapped out of the contacts and onto YouTube. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright. I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want, but... there’s this seven minute video on a bunch of kittens getting fed if you wanna watch that. It doesn’t even have to be kittens, it can be puppies, too!”

You could not believe what you were hearing right now, but he scrolled through all of these cute animal videos that captured your heart, in a similar way this seemingly knight in shining armor has.

“That’s nice of you,” you spoke out of your panic, and immediately, Kazunari huddled next to you for support, handing you a headphone to watch the video he gestured towards. He let you pick between videos and it ultimately led to the kitten one.

For only a couple minutes you both sat close by the phone, arms touching and subtle hints of laughter and glee coming out of both of your guys’ mouth. Your head traveled to Kazunari’s shoulder, and naturally, his available arm fell over yours.

Blush rose to your cheeks at the act, the warm feeling that you got from Kazunari’s kindness was not because of the humid closet, or the cute animals that soothed your panic, but the gentle soothing gestures he gave you, enough to close your eyes for a moment and mentally thank him for what he had done for you.

You had just met him, and you weren’t sure if he knew your name, but immediately this situation caused by a cursed number turned into a seven minutes that you would never forget.

Ever since then, Kazunari’s kindness has always been apparent, and after exchanging numbers after the party, you found yourselves always in each other’s company. Day after day he would stop by your dorm or call you when he was at a party, asking if you wanted to come with. Other times he would ask for homework help, even when you were equally as lost on the assignment, he found every excuse to hang out when you were available.

“Hey, Y/n! There’s a party downtown, did you wanna come with?” he asked over the phone while you were doing your assignments.

Overflowing with stress, you were quick to decline. “I’d love to, but I have a lot of assignments due tonight, I don’t think I can-”

“Hold on, hold on, hold on. You said that yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, you sure you aren’t just ignoring me?” he asked teasingly.

You let out a sigh and laughed at the joke. “No, my professors just like to give a bunch of homework and I don’t think a party can help my procrastination,” you looked at the clock and watched the time tick till your assignment was due.

Kazunari laughed through the phone. “Ohhh, thanks for reminding me! I gotta get some of my stuff done, too. Can I stop by your place to get it done?” he asked enthusiastically.

You froze, watching your shocked expression against the reflection of your clock. “...Kazunari? Skipping a party for some assignments?” you choked out.

“And you too, Y/n! I love hanging out with you!”

It surprised you to the core, and it made your body freeze and thoughts filling your head. You fell in love for your close friend, and it wasn’t too hard to see why. He loved parties, socializing, anything that would give him a chance to see human interaction. But when you were stuck with homework and assignments, it didn’t make sense to why he’d blow it all off for you in your head.

Even with someone being such a social butterfly as Kazunari, he still carved time to hang out with you, a close friend that he had the same warm feeling around.

“Hello? Y/n? Sorry, my signal’s really bad ever since Sakyo started cutting off-”

“Hi, hi yes I’m here, sorry,” you spoke and gave yourself a facepalm.

“Haha, okay! Don’t overwork yourself before I get there! It’ll take... uhhh probably around seven minutes tops,” he laughed before hanging up. You put down your phone and thoughts overwhelmed your head while staring at a blank document on your computer screen.

“Work now, Kazunari later,” you muttered to yourself and started typing up your next assignment due.

After only a mere seven minutes of working, you heard a knock on your door and sprung out of your seat, launching towards the doorknob and greeted Kazunari with a smile.

“Hey, Y/n!” sunshine boy strikes again, and this time he brought a plastic bag filled with all of your favorite food and snacks and a handful of movies on the other. “I got these recommendations from my good friend, Muku. Wanna watch some with me?”

“What about your assignments? And mine?” you avoided thinking about the kind gesture, a flustered feeling spreading throughout your body, as he handed you the various items.

“You’ve been hacking at assignments all week! Aaaaand I stopped by your favorite cafe!” Kazunari had puppy dog eyes when you opened up the food he gave you.

Inhaling deeply at the temptation, you closed it shut. “Assignments,” you said in a strict voice.

“But it’s a lot,” he whined and crashed onto your bed. You sighed out and put the gifts to the side, staring at the clock.

“Well, it’s around 3 right now, and if you finish at 7, I’ll go eat food and watch movies with you,” you sat at your desk and started your homework.

“Wait wait wait, that’s not enough,” he said, walking up behind you.

“What? That is more than enough,” you turned around, but you watched the cheeky grin appear on his mouth.

“If you finish your assignments at 7, we both get to watch movies, eat delicious food, and on top of that, I get to kiss you!”

You nearly let out a cough at Kazunari’s suggestion, but it was not like you were gonna turn it down. He kept on smiling after you reacted so violently, but you slowly nodded your head.

“It’s a deal,” you felt a competitive fire rush in you, and Kazunari pulled up a chair next to you and laughed.

“I’ll be working then. Y/n~”

Hours and hours had passed, but not in complete silence. Kazunari kept talking and showing you posts and videos from Instablam, you were concerned if he was even doing his assignment at all. You mentally cursed yourself for the times you took the bait, but you were determined to get your incentive.

However Kazunari’s presence next to you was in a way, relaxing. As you wanted to scream into your pillow he fed you some of the food and your stress melted away. When you got stuck on a problem, he searched it up for you and tried to guide you through it. And the usual, whenever you felt a rise of panic, he’d stream a little cat video for the both of you to watch.

He was the most supportive person you could have ever possibly met, but each action caused you to freeze and grow flustered, melting in his action.

You finished at the dot, right before seven, and you looked at Kazunari with wide and tired eyes as you practically collapsed onto him.

“You did it Y/n!” he exclaimed supportively, wrapping his arms around you tight.

“I guess I did...,” you sighed out.

The both of you got up from your seats, his arms still snug around your waist as you comfortable buried your face in his chest. “I’m so tired...,” you whined out.

“Oh I know,” he teased, his fingers combing through your hair comfortably. “You go and relax, I’ll start the movie,” he led you to your own bed which you immediately crashed in.

Kazunari’s absence made you feel cold, causing you to crawl into your sheets, watching the screen turn on. Kazunari crawled into the bed with you, smiling as he laid down on his sight.

“So~” Kazunari had his usual goofy grin. “Did you really work your butt off for the movie, or to kiss me?” he asked smoothly.

You stared at him with your mouth open to answer, too lazy to get up in an attempt to hide your reddened face. “Well... did you come here to work on assignments or to hang out with me?”

Kazunari smiled and laid a hand on your face, his thumb caressing your cheek and letting the movie run in the background. “Well, who wouldn’t wanna hang out with such an amazing and cool person?”

You, hesitantly overlapped your hand with his on your face and returned the smile. “And who wouldn’t want to kiss such a nice, amazing guy like you?”

Kazunari laughed, a blush growing on his face. “You always know what to say, Y/n!” His face inched closer to you, and his nose gently brushed against yours.

“And you always know how to make me feel this way, Kazu,” you managed to whisper before he leaned in and kissed your lips softly, the warm feeling inside you only grew as he kissed you for what felt like a blissful eternity.

Even when he pulled away, the gap between you both did not lessen. “Hehe, I’m so glad I flaked on the party,” he continued to joke around, and he started to kiss you even more.

He made you feel safe, even when it was just the two of you, he was always there. It was all thanks to a cursed game, with a cursed number, but you managed to make a lifetime of heaven out of it.

#a3! x reader #kazunari x reader #kazunari miyoshi #act! addict! actors!#mankai a3!#mankai #x reader

39 notes · View notes

fairy-writes · 3 years

Note

Hi! Could I request a matchup, please?

I'm a female, and would like a male match for Boku no Hero and Bungou Stray Dogs.

I'm an INTP, but also identify myself a little bit with ENTP, since I'm a little ambivert, but most of the times I like to be alone ^^.

I'm know to be nerdy or witty because I like to research about a lot of stuff, what causes me to know random things and some other that are actually really interesting. I can be the queen of procrastination or do the things EXACTLY at the time it was given to me. There's no in between. When I'm procrastinating my hobbies switch to drawing, reading, sleeping, editing, scrolling through social media or playing video games. I also like anime, but I'm disconnecting myself with the "watch" part cause I procrastinate EVEN to watch them! I really like detective series too!

For personality, I can give easily the 'arrogant' or the 'soft spoken' impression, but for those who know me, or are unfortunate to get close to me, know how much passionate I am about the stuff I like and how talkative I am. I do my best to hold conversations and despite I mostly like to debate or chit chat about the most stupid stuff, I also like to show the stuff I like to people who don't know it :). I have strong boundaries and like to be alone most of the time so personal space and respect are really important to me. I can really oblivious and blush HARD when I'm flirted with. I'm really easy to tease in general, cause I'm quiet and shy...

I'm not really good at expressing love through words, but!!! I show it a lot through quality time or physical touch. I love hugging, cuddling, cheek kisses... You name it. Sometimes I'm really clingy, but it never last too long. But say it out loud? ...really rare. Plus blushing if someone says they love me.

I guess that's all... Hope it's not too big neither un bothering you

Hi friend! I hope you like your matchup!

My Hero Academia Matchup: I pair you with… Kaminari Denki!

Kaminari would shamelessly ask you for tutoring help with his homework since you know a lot of random facts. He wouldn’t help a lot with your procrastination, but in turn, you would be able to kick his ass into gear when it counts when it comes to homework and exams.

He loves playing video games with you! His favorite is the game “Human Fall Flat” or “Castle Crashers” since they are both great two-player games, and it’s a bonding experience when you are either procrastinating or already done with homework. He also will be happy to watch anime or detective shows with you (he may not understand the detective parts, but he tries to cause he knows you love them so much)

Kaminari helps you open up a bit more, especially if you are feeling particularly quiet that day. You will most likely become best friends with the Bakusquad; Mina will become your best friend and often steal you away for ‘mandatory girl time.’

The fact that you love expressing affection through hugs, cuddling, cheek kisses, etc., is a massive win in Kaminari’s mind! He also seems like a person who is also very physically affectionate. He also loves to make you blush by saying how much he loves you all the time!

Bungou Stray Dogs Matchup: I pair you with… Nakajima Atsushi!

As a detective, he does enjoy a good detective or true crime show. BUT he isn’t a massive fan of the movie gore so if it’s a particularly gruesome documentary or show, expect him to be hiding behind his fingers or a pillow when the bloody parts come on.

He also takes a lot of interest in the random things you might know and helps a lot with your procrastination issues. Though while you procrastinate and maybe draw or read, he likes to just spend time taking cat naps or snuggling cause let’s be honest here, poor Atsushi is probably touch starved and the minute he gets used to the physical affection that’ll definitely be his way of showing his love for you!

Words really aren’t his forte and he honestly tries his best to make you blush but the poor boy just ends up making himself blush in the process. Give the cutie a break and he’ll be sure to get you back for making him blush in no time!

Sorry this one is a bit short! It would’ve seemed a lot like I was reiterating what I said with the above matchup!

I hope you liked your matchup lovely! I’m so sorry this took so long!k

#fairytailwzard matchup #fairytailwzard matchups #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #mha #bnha #bsd

3 notes · View notes

lilikags · 3 years

Note

MAY I PLS HAVE A HQ MATCHUP !!~ idk what info u want so imma just dump every thing i can think of rnᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

ok appearance-wise,,, im short;-; 156cm.. i have long black hair thats neither straight nor curly. just somewhat wavy? and im not skinny just mildy chubby. brown eyes brown-ish skin. braces !! but its hard to tell cuz i still talk normally with it(wait idk if uve seen me before.. i think u mightve.. nvm moving on)

my type or preferences in a partner is basically just TALL. i want someone rlly rlly tall. id also prefer it if theyre someone i can easily talk to/have witty banter with. i think im bi? but with a preference for guys:)

next just random stuff bout me i guess: um my friends describe me as smart and lazy. my younger brother and sister both say im the most stupid person in the world (but i get better grades than then so hAH) id say,,, im a curious person, also pretty bold cuz idgaf bout what others say. im social but like to keep to myself if yk what i mean. an ambivert basically.

at school tho,, apparently i give off a “cold, scary” vibe. idk why but thats what ppl keep telling me. bUt im rlly nice (i think) and ill talk to u if u talk to me,,, stuff like that basically.

also the lazy part is true. procrastination isnt a hobby, its my lifestyle. but i manage¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i like sleep and food. um i really dont like fish (on a plate or in the ocean) i dont wear jewelry. i am a huge perfectionist, love to organize stuff but i have the laziness which is why i barely ever finish anything skdnksd. uh i love getting into debates (about anything rlly) i dont rlly get angry or mad more just pissed off,, and that wears off pretty fast too. i like drinking room temperature milo and eating soft cookies without chocolate chips cuz j dont rlly like chocolate bUT I LOVE ELEPHANTS i have like a pile of stuffed animals next to my bed in which half are elephants so yeaaahhhh

ohhHH i play volleyball too !! and am the setter for the girls team at skl.

also i think i ended up saying a lot so hope u enjoy reading this compilation of random little things about me:D

Matchups for Haikyuu, Genshin Impact, and Epic Seven are always open!

My 200 event is going on! Find the details here.

He teases you about your height to no end. It’s an every day thing and it’s honestly a lifestyle at this point. You mind but you don’t really mind and this is how the daily “banter” starts.

Dates are often at either your house or his, and one of the things he surprisingly likes to do is playing with your hair. You’d be watching a movie and he’s be behind you and playing with your hair. He wasn’t bad at doing hair and the hairstyles were actually pretty cute. He loves how it’s long so that he could try out all sorts of styles on it.

People kind of thought that Tsukishima would get an equally tall partner but they were WRONG. Honestly, when they saw you and found out about the two of you, they felt that Tsukishima was more “human” than he seemed.

The way that you can’t eat certain things while you have braces- he teases you about it. He’ll buy gum and chew it just to flex that he can and you can’t. (please, i couldn’t eat tootsie rolls while i had my braces ,<//3)

When you tell your friends that your type is tall, they instantly wanted you to hook up with Tsukishima. He’s the first person that everyone thinks of when they hear “tall”. They thought it would be quite the impossible task, even for you, but you were able to pull it off and it was so worth.

The witty comments don’t stop. It’s one after another and it doesn’t end until either of you have nothing left to counter the last. That’s honestly like 70% of your conversation but it’s how the two of you communicate.

Whenever you’re at his house doing homework, you’re half not paying attention to it while he’s trying to get everything right, and you love teasing him about not getting a certain problem. Partly because you want to tease him but also like you’re too lazy to actually give him the answer or walk him through how to get the answer.

He is so jealous of how you’re so smart, but he literally won’t show it. Well, he will, but he’ll deny it and say that he’s pissed off at how you’re “bragging in his face about it”.

Tsukishima loves saying how “your siblings are so much better than you” but the two of you know that he values you more.

He knows that you don’t like jewelry so he’ll buy you cheap jewelry as a prank for your birthday then actually leave you something you really wanted.

Spontaneous fights but they die down quickly

He teases you for the room-temperature milo, definitely.

The two of you play volleyball often in the backyard. You’d practice combos a lot and you being a setter and Tsukishima being a middle blocker is perfect.

#hq matchup #haikyuu matchup #haikyuuu x reader #haikyuu #tsukishima kei #tsukishima #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader

7 notes · View notes

ateezgf · 4 years

Note

i need advice and motivation on how to overcome highschool :((

oooh this is a bit hard to answer because high school now isn’t quite the same as how it was when i was in it for obvious reasons. BUT !! i’ll do my best to help you!

i have a feeling that things may feel super.. tedious and overwhelming right now, no? especially since most high school students haven’t done an online class before. i had a couple online classes (because i failed apush & had to make it up so that i can graduate on time plus another random class just to boost my gpa mwah) in high school & it honestly is pretty rough! i know that this doesn’t sound very motivating, but i’m sort of trying to be like “hey, it’s gonna be a struggle but i’ve been there (hell, tbh im STILL there with college) and if i can make it, im sure you can too”.

online learning takes a lot of self-discipline. i know every household is very different and perhaps you don’t have the luxury space and privacy that so many study channels and other advice things rave about. that happens. i’ll finally start settling into my study mindset when suddenly my mom calls me over to her room & it throws me off my groove! i’ve taken a lot of online classes so far (even before it was forced upon me) and i’m still struggling with self-discipline and working on procrastination. the best advice that i can offer is trying to get yourself into a routine that best suits YOU. not something you feel pressured to stick to because a lot of people who post about their own study habits do it (eg. waking up super early [ofc if u have to then u have to but if u dont then well], studying ALL day, etc). it may take some time to find your specific groove that works for you & it might require some communication with family. just because you don’t develop a top-notch routine right away doesn’t make you a failure or any negative connotation. ESPECIALLY since this is (im assuming) your first time with remote learning.

it’s a really weird transition, especially if you’re body/mind is also already used to relaxing when you’re home. it takes time to break the association and have your mind recognize that home is a place to work now & it isn’t just for leisure or little tasks like homework. which is why you should have one designated spot to study/get work done at that isn’t a bed or couch or just anywhere you tend to sleep or relax on. this is something i learned in my psych classes, so!! like i said, you have to get your body used to the fact that school is happening at home now. it’s not an overnight thing for everyone. you want to do your best to avoid getting work done in bed if you can because your mind & body will register that as “oh? seems like it’s time for bed/time to relax” and start falling asleep or something. OR! your body will start to recognize that space as a place of work instead of relaxation & when it’s time to actually sleep, it’ll be harder to do so because of the association. if you have a desk or table or just any space you can sit up in and work, that’ll be my biggest recommendation~

hmm.. i also know that not every house allows peace and quiet either. i was fortunate enough to take advantage of apple’s student discount and got some airpod pros. BUT this doesn’t mean you need expensive, noise-cancelling earphones. if you like listening to music while you work, put your preferred pair of earbuds/headphones on to block out as much outside noise as possible! i don’t recommend blasting your music (dont wanna hurt ur ears now), but just enough where the background noise of your house or outside isn’t too much of a distraction should be fine~ also so you can still hear your parents if they’re calling you if they’re like that. [but also if you’re able to set boundaries and be like “i need [timeframe] to do my school work so please try not to bother me” then !!!! yes]. if you don’t like listening to music/can’t because it’s a distraction, perhaps try to find earplugs or maybe try instrumentals if the distraction is with listening to your favorite songs? like those foam ones that people at concerts wear and stuff, yknow? i can’t really study in complete silence so i can’t vouch too much about this one.

going back to finding a routine best suited for you, i wooould say that you should work during the day so that you can relax at night.... BUT!!!!! if you’re more of a night owl & your house is more quiet at night, definitely use that time to study/get some homework done. i’m assuming if this is anything like my younger brother’s online schooling, you’re attending zoom lectures during normal operating hours and then you’re essentially free the rest of the day. now, you could use that time to get your work done if that works for you. OR you can use that time to relax and do the other things you want to do (play games, work out, take a nap, i dunno) and then get your work done at night since you’re awake then anyway.

BUT LIKE I SAID, FIND WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU!! i know things are really weird and hard right now, i get it. hopefully, you have a nice group of friends who are still making this social distancing time as enjoyable as possible & i hope you’re reaching your own mini successes. i wish i can give you more advice and motivation, but again i’m not really sure how to help you when it comes to getting through high school during these times ): .... but i am here to help cheer you on if you ever need the boost!!! if you want to celebrate your successes with me, i am more than HAPPY to hype you and your brain up. if you need a space to talk about something that went wrong academically, i’m here to help you feel better cause i have definitely been in that position before. also i may suck at math but im pretty good at english :D so papers and all that jazz? i can maybe try helping~

you got this! i believe in you (:

#eeee i really hope this helps #i got on my computer to better type this out aaaaaa #anonymous #answered

7 notes · View notes

relatablehogwartshouse · 4 years

Text

Quarantine “Vacation”

How do we spend majority of time during quarantine with online learning?

Slytherin: *texting Ravenclaw complaints* I’m going to die because my procrastination will dig my grave

Slytherin: *texting other Slytherins* this is so stupid

Slytherin: *plays games with Hufflepuff* Of course my town is doing amazing. I am an amazing ruler.

Slytherin: I’m working *playing random games or really anything but homework*

Slytherin: *a minute before like five assignments are due* Oh, thats due? Well... let’s get it done now... FAST!

Slytherin: *upset about it only because procrastination but loves not having to socialize*

Hufflepuff: *works on a lot of work very quickly to get it done*

Hufflepuff: *waits for Gryffindor to finish something so they can do work together in a class they share*

Hufflepuff: *calls Slytherin while waiting for Gryffindor and grants Slytherin another way to procrastinate*

Hufflepuff: *spends any extra time doing videos or things Slytherin recommended for them since they don’t know what to do otherwise*

Hufflepuff: I don’t know what to dooooooooo.

Hufflepuff: *misses hanging out with people and is calling others a lot to show that*

Hufflepuff: *doodles all over notes since the teacher won’t be seeing them and questioning it*

Gryffindor: I ain’t gonna procrastinate, broski. I’m gonna get it done now so I can mess around later

Gryffindor: *does a million things at once and is still succeeding*

Gryffindor: *occasionally works on work with Hufflepuff* okay, Huff. Just chill out and we will get this done.

Gryffindor: *only complains about not getting to see people or asking teachers for help in person anymore*

Gryffindor: *doesn’t listen to Slytherin’s complaints because they don’t need to take their shit when not with them in person*

Gryffindor: I’m gonna eat a feast while watching this teacher’s lecture because they can’t stop me

Ravenclaw: *only misses some sports they do and showing everyone that they are a boss*

Ravenclaw: Why hasn’t my teacher responded to my question yet? *ten seconds later* They have no excuse for not answering me yet. We literally are all forced to be online! *huff*

Ravenclaw: *will complain to Slytherin about not having a teacher respond or explain stuff yet*

Ravenclaw: Why doesn’t anyone call me? *thinks* oh wait, I don’t enjoy their company anyways *laughs and slowly starts to cry instead* Why?!

Ravenclaw: *upset by one assignment due in a week and tries to get it done faster, wishing to have been told in more advance*

Ravenclaw: *somehow manages to do all their work and still binge shows on Netflix like Sherlock or Criminal Minds*

Ravenclaw: *likes not being social like Slytherin and is thriving in that department*

#harry potter #hogwarts #hogwarts houses #magic #wizards #withces #griffindor #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #slytherin #quarantine #distance learning #vacation

51 notes · View notes

statistically-unlikely-monster · 4 years

Text

More headcanons because I'm procrastinating on my homework

Eduardo

Secretly a softie

Cares deeply about his friends' safety

Goes to the gym a lot

He's from Puerto Rico, not Mexico. Call him a Mexican and he'll end you right there.

Has a dog he named after Chuck Norris.

Watches stuff like South Park and Brandon Rogers.

Has an inferiority complex because of the past events shown in Poweredd, so he acts like he's high and mighty to compensate.

Still has a bit of his powers, but doesn't use them for much. At most he floats around the house sometimes.

He's hard on Jon because he's trying to toughen him up, but sometimes he takes it a bit too far.

His hands are rated PG. He'll fight anyone given a reason. (And sometimes that reason is just "because I can")

Bullies the monsters when playing horror games to keep from getting scared.

Where Edd is an artist, Eduardo is an author. He writes little short stories and has them all compiled into one binder.

Mark

"Wine mom" friend

99% of Eduardo's impulse control

Has a completely different dialect of Spanish from Eduardo, and he likes to confuse the heck out of him.

Listens to comedians while doing work. His favorites are Gabriel Iglesias and John Mulaney.

He found out how to connect to Matt's printer. Sometimes when he's bored he prints a random meme on the printer so he can listen to Matt fight with the others about who keeps wasting his ink.

Brains of the group.

Unironically shares minion memes on Facebook.

Wants to be a teacher, but also doesn’t want to deal with children.

He refers to toddlers as gremlins.

Uses up all the hot water during a shower because he takes forever singing and goofing off instead of actually cleaning himself.

Terrified of spiders. It’s so bad that Eduardo found him clinging to the wall because of a tiny spider that crawled out of his shoe.

Procrastinates until last minute and then panics and blames everyone else for him not being able to take care of it earlier.

Jon

Adores cute animals, especially kittens.

Terrified of thunderstorms.

He tries really hard to scare Eduardo and Mark, but he's such a softie that it never really works.

Loves cooking, especially baking.

Gets experimental with cakes and has Mark taste test for him. So far the best one was a cake swirled with brownie that he drizzled with caramel.

Can’t handle horror movies.

Still believes in Santa Claus. Mark and Eduardo take turns every year dressing up as Santa to put presents under the tree.

Has a huge fish tank in his room for his goldfish Goldie and Guliver.

Can’t sleep with socks on.

Collects bottle caps. He has a little display case on his wall for his favorite ones.

He's the only one in the house that can't speak Spanish.

He plays a lot of phone games like puzzles, avatar makers, and clicker games.

#eddsworld #ew neighbors #ew eduardo #ew mark #ew jon #eddsworld headcanons #ew headcanons #eddcanons #these aren't as good as the first ones

45 notes · View notes

t-lostinworlds · 5 years

Text

Words Cut Like Knives (Shawn Mendes) [2]

A/N: Welp, a lot of you guys wanted a second part so here it is! I hope it doesn’t disappoint anyone asdfghjkl. Also, I just wanted to say I appreciate every single one of you. Truly, you guys are amazing and I love you and thank you for all the support. It means a lot.

P.S. I said this was going to be 5.5k words at max and well... lol sorry.

Summary: Shawn realizes how much he actually fucked things up and how he’s actually lost someone who’d give the whole world to him, who he actually wants and needs, but was everything too late or was it not it’s time just yet?

Warnings: None but Typos, oh and change in POV halfway through.

Word Count: 6.8k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

You know when people say, you never know what you have until you lose it? Well, Shawn already knew that it was true, but never had he ever expected it to slap him across the face every other time and for it to hurt this much.

All these years talking about how he wanted to experience real heartbreak, saying how that would make a killer album because by then he also gets to experience what it's like to love someone truly, but now? He wants absolutely nothing more than for it to go away. Shawn wants nothing else than for this pain to subside, other than having her back of course.

Her. (Y/N).

Every corner of the condo was littered with everything that is her. She is always in Shawn's mind 24/7, the moment he wakes up and just before he falls asleep, hell even in his dreams she's still there.

Shawn can even see her when he's in the kitchen, it's like her ghost is still lingering in the space, music blasted so loud whenever she's making breakfast, sock clad feet gliding across the floors as she moves her hips to the beat, a smile always making its way onto his lips the moment he reaches the room, him leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest as he watches her be so carefree, happy and just be an angel without even trying.

Even in his living room where she's all curled up on the couch, fast asleep with a book in her hand or when she's wrapped in a blanket as she stares at the TV, her favorite show playing that Shawn ends up loving since she pretty much drags him to watch it with her every time, but Shawn never regretted a single moment, just seeing her face all throughout the show, the way her face changes from all sorts of emotions, makes everything worth it.

But one of his favorites was when she's sitting cross-legged on the floor, hair in a messy bun, looking at her computer that was sat on the coffee table with furrowed brows, the tip of her pen caught between her teeth as she concentrates on whatever homework was due the next day.

Shawn always comes up behind her to place a soft kiss on her shoulder whenever she gets too stressed about it, teasing her about how her habit of procrastinating is the reason why she now has to rush to get everything done, though she'd shoot him a glare, she doesn't deny the fact that he's right.

He then ends up keeping her company until she finishes, her back pressed up against his chest as she sits between his legs, comfortable silence in the air as he lets her be, a couple of kisses thrown here and there until she closes her laptop with a sigh of pure relief and they were off to bed, Shawn carrying her as he insists he always will do when she's tired and overworked.

He can't even begin to think about his bedroom without his heart aching. The images of her bare skin flushed against his, her beautiful face looking down at him when he shows her how good he can make her feel, treat her as she deserves to be treated, worship her body like a temple, praise and cherish her like the goddess that she is.

Though the random cuddles they share will always be superior. Both of them wrapped in each other's arms when it's raining outside, the soft music of Louis Armstrong or Dean Martin bouncing off the cream-colored walls as Shawn admires her by his side wearing nothing but his hoodie, and boy that sight always made his heart melt.

And when That's Amore plays through the speakers, Shawn would be quick to pull her out of bed, her giggles accompanying the tune as they dance around the room, his hand holding one of hers as the other rest securely on her waist, bodies swaying to the music with wide smiles plastered on their faces. She always comments on how cheesy he was, Shawn causally responding that she loves his cheesiness, she always has. She'd giggle and do nothing else except pull him down for a sweet, gentle kiss, soft and contented sighs coming out of the two lovers.

But now every time he walks in that room, his heart just breaks into pieces knowing that he'll probably never feel that ever again. Her presence still so strong in that room even if it's been 2 weeks since he last saw her, the last picture that he ever saw was her packing up her stuff and leaving, an image that still occupies his mind more frequently than the last. The feeling of having her in his arms haunting him every night and day as he lays alone on that empty, cold mattress.

Shawn tried to replace the memories of her with someone else, but every single time he can't seem to do so as he brings a random girl in the guest room instead, never letting them near his room, not wanting to taint what was once him and her. But then just a few moments later, they leave all pissed because he ends up turning them down, can't bear the thought of sleeping with someone else because all he wants, all he craves is her.

He had everything he's ever needed, she was everything he's ever needed and he lost that, all because of a stupid mistake, a blatant idiotic move that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Shawn has no excuse other than he was being dumb. He thought he was over Freya, but when he saw her back at the party he wasn't so sure anymore, he got confused on what he truly feels. And when she kissed him, he got blindsided, thought that Freya was supposed to be the girl he'd be with, the girl he needs. When she kissed him, Shawn knew he missed her still, he realized in himself that he hasn't fully moved on. Then everything got heated and Shawn wasn't thinking clearly anymore, thinking with the wrong head as some would say, hence why he said what he said.

Now he's lost (Y/N) just because he couldn't get a fucking grip and man up to own and face what he was truly feeling.

This was no one else's fault except his. He hurt her, lied to her, played with her feelings. He shouldn't have stringed her along, shouldn't have pursued her knowing that he himself was still unsure about where his heart stands. But he was an idiot and he did it anyway.

Shawn feels so sick of himself, he is so fucking disgusted of himself for what he's done to her, a poor excuse of a boy who hurt such an amazing and incredible woman who loved him unconditionally. And now, he lost her, lost the girl who he finally realizes was someone who he really does want, who he needs, but he realized that all too late.

He took everything for granted, he took her for granted and now he had to live with the consequences.

"You'd be a mess without me."

And she's right. She always has been right with everything. Never has (Y/N) ever told him something that ended up being wrong. She was right about Freya, right about him being blind and stupid, right about how he's become a monster.

Sure she never truly did speak the words but Shawn saw it in the way she looked at him, the way her eyes just stared at him like he was someone who she doesn't know anymore, someone who ended up being the guy he swore he'd never be, a monster of a boy, and God she was so right.

And oh a mess he is. Shawn even begins to think that calling him a mess would be an understatement. He was a wreck without her, he's so lost without her and he doesn't know if he can even begin to feel true happiness without her.

All because of him. All because of what he's done.

Shawn would bet against anyone in the world who'd tell him there was someone else who's a bigger fuck up than him, because right now? He is the biggest fuck up and the uttermost idiot that has ever walked this planet.

"Shawn, you need to leave your bed. Tour starts back up again in a few weeks, you need to rehearse and get back out there man." Andrew wasn't supposed to be here at this date since he had other errands to attend to, but when he's caught wind of how Shawn wasn't showing up at rehearsals or just wasn't showing up point blank, he needed to see how he's doing, because other than being his manager, he is still his friend by the end of it all.

Shawn only nodded solemnly, cheek pressed against his slightly damp pillow as he stared into nothingness, bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair all a product of him not getting out of bed unless it was to the bathroom or for some food.

Andrew frowned at the boy, thinking that this was worse than what Brian had let on. With a sigh, he walked closer to him, standing rightfully in front of his gaze in an attempt to get to his head.

Shawn let out a groan at the look Andrew was giving him, forcing him to close his eyes tight, so sick of all the pity everyone has been throwing at him, but then again, he does deserve it, though he thinks disappointed looks would be much more appropriate, be what he truly deserves.

"Shawn I care about you a lot. And this–" Andrew waved his hand all around the room, a whole mess with all the beer bottles, dirty clothes and even leftovers of food scattered everywhere. "–isn't healthy anymore. You need to get back on your feet."

Shawn shifted his body until he was laid flat on his back, glossy eyes staring straight up at the ceiling as he sighed, "I lost her Andrew. I lost my best friend, my girlfriend because of the stupidest shit I did. I hurt her and she didn't deserve all that. (Y/N) is such an angel, she didn't deserve to be treated like that." Shawn croaked, voice hoarse and raspy since he hasn't been his best self in a while, heart aching badly as guilt continues to swallow him whole.

Running a frustrated hand over his face, Shawn willed himself to sit up, eyes landing on the empty part of the closet making his heart break, a deep frown still etched on his lips as it has been for the past few weeks. "I was supposed to protect her from getting hurt. I promised her that I'll always protect her from boys who aren't going to treat her right, and fuck, guess what? I ended up being that exact idiot and asshole. How fucking ironic."

A sarcastic laugh left Shawn's lips as he shook his head in pure disappointment in himself, realizing over and over again how much of a fuck up he actually is. Andrew crossed his arms over his chest with a shrugged, tilting his head at the boy as he said. "Well, I can't disagree with you on that. You are an idiot and an asshole for what you did."

Shawn's head fell back with a groan, eyes shut tight as he didn't bother giving Andrew an answer because there was nothing left to say. But still, Shawn felt glad that most of the people around him know and tell him the truth when he does fuck things up, and that they aren't all 'yes men' who doesn't slap some sense into him when needed.

"But with that being said, what do you achieve by moping around in your room Shawn? Will she forgive you if you're stuck in bed all day? Do you think she'll give you another chance if you just drown yourself in self-pity?"

"No..." Shawn trailed off, eyes finally meeting Andrew's gaze as the older guy towered over him, only raising him a brow with a pointed look. "Then get the fuck up and get your shit together Mendes. Talk to her and apologize. Tell her what's truly in your heart and not just throw her more reasons because I know for a fact she's tired of hearing those."

"She blocked me on everything." Andrew rolled his eyes at that, "What she blocked you in real life too? Can't drive to her place because what? She blocked the road?"

Shawn hung his head low with an annoyed groan. "Andrew I swear–"

"My point is, don't stop trying. Contact her once a day but don't be too suffocating, if she doesn't respond back to anywhere, then try again the next day. Don't blow up her phone and give her the space she needs. And you'll never know, maybe she'll be the one to reach out first once she's ready." Andrew approached the boy, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder making Shawn nod with a small smile. Shawn slowly got out bed to give Andrew a proper grateful hug, him giving a remark about how Shawn smells so bad and looks so grim up close, earning a small laugh from the curly boy.

Then Andrew was off to leave Shawn alone with his thoughts again, but not before telling him that he has rehearsals in a couple of hours, which Andrew specifically threatened that Shawn show up or he's coming back in his room in a not-so-friendly way next time.

Once alone, Shawn dared himself not to go back to bed, so he opt on going straight to the bathroom instead, taking a much needed shower before heading off to rehearsals as he tries to get himself back on track.

Though what he didn't expect was for her to reach out first just as Andrew predicted.

***

"Okay guys, 10-minute break then we run through it again." Shawn sighed as he slipped the guitar off, placing it on the stand as he gave his band courteous nods as they walk out of the room, them returning the favor but with worry in their eyes. Though he did reassure them that he was fine, all of them didn't believe it, after all, he looked nowhere near fine.

Tour starts back again in a week's time, a couple more days until his leaving to be on the road again, and Shawn doesn't feel too excited about it, as uncharacteristic as that sounds.

His phone dinged in his pocket, Shawn fishing it out but not thinking much of who it was, maybe it was just a text from a friend or his sister perhaps, but when he gaze fell on the screen, he swore his heart stopped for a good amount of time.

iMessage from (Y/N): Hey Shawn. It's (Y/N). I just wanted to talk, hope you aren't too busy.

Shawn wasted no time in responding. Hell, he's been waiting to hear from her in weeks. Right now seems too good to be true just seeing her name on the screen, and God how he's missed seeing that name pop up.

iMessage to (Y/N): Hey angel, and no, I'm never too busy for you. Just tell me when and where. I'll be there.

Shawn's heart was hammering against his chest as he waited for a response, feet tapping anxiously on the floor, mind slowly thinking of how she's not going to text back again. Was the nickname too much? Did I go too far with what I said? Was I too desperate? Or was I too–

iMessage from (Y/N): Meet me at the coffee shop in about an hour or so. You already know which one.

Shawn sighed loudly as his phone dinged again, her name flashing on the screen making his lips slightly curve up into a small smile. The coffee shop, their coffee shop as she used to say. The place they used to go to every once in a while to just hang out, or whenever they want to set thing straight with the other. The coffee shop that holds so many memories, both good and bad. And right now they were going to add more to it, Shawn just doesn't know if it's going to be good or bad.

Shawn typed in a quick response to tell her that he'll see her in a bit, his smile slowly growing as he starts to feel all giddy out of the blue. He was finally seeing her, and he's seeing her today. Finally seeing her in the flesh after so long, to finally have the chance to tell her what he truly feels.

The sound of the door opening made Shawn tear his eyes off from his device, his band coming into view to continue with rehearsals, but Shawn interrupts before they could get to their respective instruments. "Uh guys, can we just cancel the rest of the day? Something came up and I really need to go."

"What's wrong Shawn? You okay?" Eddy asked with furrowed brows, the rest of the band looking at him with the same concerned faces. Shawn only nodded at them reassuringly, "Yeah, it's just, (Y/N) texted and she said she wanted to talk."

"Well, go on bro. Get your girl back." Mike encouraged, earning a grateful and honest smile from Shawn. "Thanks man." And without any second thought he was bolting towards the door, keys and wallet in hand, stopping midway and saying, "I'll make it up to you guys I promise." Then he was gone.

Yes, Shawn was aware that it was in an hour or so, but he wanted to get there first, doesn't want to take the chance on being late, scared that if he was even a minute over the time, he'd lose his chance to get her back forever.

***

Shawn waited nervously at the same table you always sat on all these years, right at the very back of the coffee shop by the window, away from all the prying eyes. A much needed peace and quiet away from the hectic world outside separated by the thin sheet of glass.

His fingers were tapping on the wooden surface in an anxious manner as his legs bounced aimlessly underneath. His eyes were glued to the door as he watched people come and go, his heart leaping every time he hears the bell ring, expecting it to be you. It was at the 10th bell–yes, he counted–that when he looked to see who it was, his world stopped and so did yours.

You thought you were ready to face him again, but that was where you thought wrong. But to be completely honest, you are never ready when it comes to him, well, you used to, but now you aren't so sure anymore since you don't really know what's on his head, not after everything that had happened.

"(Y/N)... hey." Shawn whispered as he stood from his seat the moment you walked closer to him, the sound of relief coating his voice, showing just how he was so happy to see you again, feeling so glad that you hadn't bailed on him.

Shawn was in completely awe of the beauty of you, taking his breath so easily just by being yourself in your black leggings and an oversized hoodie, a hoodie that gave him a sense of hope because it wasn't someone else's hoodie nor yours. How does he know this? Well, because it was his, the blue Tommy Hilfiger one that he absolutely adores seeing you in.

"Hi." You gave him small smile, the two of you not knowing what to do with yourselves as you stood face to face, both of you itching to touch, to be closer but no one dared to do so. With a clear of your throat you sat down right across from him, staring at your folded hands on the table, Shawn doing the same except he kept his eyes on you, afraid that when he looks away, you'll be gone in thin air.

The silence that rang in the air started to become deafening. You were fiddling with your fingers and still refusing to look at Shawn, and it pained him to see that, pained him to see that now, you can't bear to look at him in the eyes anymore, but he can't say he doesn't deserve it. "(Y/N) I–"

"No. I just wanted to ask a few things." You stopped him before he could get another word out, only wanting to hear the answers to your questions and nothing more.

Shawn nodded slowly, frown deep on his face a she waited for you to continue. You close your eyes as you took a deep breath, contemplating on your words before finally having the courage to meet his gaze and when you did, Shawn's felt his heart break even more as the sadness and pain that swirled around them was too much, and all of it was his doing.

"Was I only just a rebound? And please don't lie to me to make me feel better." You whispered, eyes shutting as your bottom lip trembled. Yes it's been weeks but it still hurts so fresh, the pain still so sharp in your heart that talking about it just does nothing but make you cry over and over.

"I'm not going to lie to you anymore. I–I don't want to risk losing you again." Shawn stared deeply into your eyes, palms pressed together as he rest his hands on the table, just a few inches away from yours.

With a deep, shaky breath, Shawn continued. "And it started that way, I thought that by being with you can help me get over her, help me forget about her and you did help me with that, but as time flew by, I realized that you were far better than she was, a more amazing woman than she ever will be. I mean, you already were and I was just so blind to see that, too blind to see what's in front of me. You always were so right about that, in more ways than one." Shawn confessed, titling his head to look at you with a small smile, though it was still so charming in your eyes so you looked down, not able to stare at them too long in fear that you'll drown in them and you'll be thinking with you heart and not your head again.

"And I was falling for you slowly but surely and I realized that fuck, this woman really will have me wrapped around her pretty fingers in a short time won't she? And you did exactly that (Y/N), I got so wrapped around you so quick that I know it would be so hard to turn back around, but truth is. I don't want to." Shawn finished, your eyes snapping back to his as you pressed your lips in a tight line, unsure if you should trust his words, but you knew that he was telling the truth, Shawn was never a good liar and you can see it in the way he looks at you.

"Was everything real? Everything you said and did while–when we were together, was it real?" You asked slowly, tears starting to gloss up as you held your composure, keeping your eyes on him to truly see if he will mean every word.

Shawn sighed, knowing exactly what you mean, that if he wasn't thinking of her while he was with you, and the truth is, he wasn't. "Yes (Y/N), all of that was real. Everything that happened between us was real. The moments when we danced in the bedroom? That was real, and gosh I loved hearing that giggle every I pull you out of bed just to dance. I loved hearing you belting out songs in the shower whenever you can. And the nights when we just lay in bed and talk about anything and everything, I always admire you outlook on life, makes me feel so lucky to have you. And when I'm holding you in my arms, when I'm kissing you, when I make love to you, I was only thinking of you and no one else. I promise you that (Y/N). None of it was a lie, all of it was very real to me."

"Then why?" You croaked, still not understanding why he did what he did if he says that what he felt for you was real.

"I have no better reason than I was stupid. I got confused with my feelings. I thought I was over her because I already was so happy with you, I was so fucking happy to be with you, but then I saw her at the party and I got so confused, and everything just happened so fast and my mind just turned to mush. Fuck I was such an asshole, a fucking idiot for not getting my shit together." Shawn leaned forward and decided to risk it as he took your hands in his, his large ones wrapping slowly around yours and you let him, the feeling comforting you, the ache in your heart lessening at the feeling of his warmth.

"I'm so sorry (Y/N). I regret everything I said that night, if I could turn back time and slap some sense into myself I would. You didn't deserve all of that, didn't deserve to get hurt at all. And trust me, I really want to beat the shit out of myself every time I look in the mirror. For hurting you, for being that boy I swore to protect you from. I was a fucking idiot and I hurt you. But right now? I finally realized that you were everything to me and more. I miss you so bad and it hurts to see you side of the bed empty. I miss you (Y/N), I really do." The desperation in his voice was clear as day, a longing look on his face as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his eyes tearing up, mirroring yours.

You let out a defeated sigh as you casted your eyes down at your intertwined hands, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he always does whenever he holds it. "I miss you too Shawn." You admitted, because why would you lie when that's all you've been feeling for the past few weeks?

"I'm not expecting you to forgive me right away. I understand completely if you don't trust me anymore, but please (Y/N), give me one more chance. All I need is one chance and I'll show you how much you mean to me, treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Just one chance." Shawn begged, he didn't care if he sounded pathetic, he cared about nothing else right now other than having you back in his life.

But when you gave him a nod and a small 'okay', Shawn knew that there was more to this than what meets the eye, that you were indeed giving him another chance but it wasn't going to be what he expects it to be.

"That's not all isn't it?" You shook your head no with a sharp intake of breath, your eyes avoiding his and Shawn was fast to catch what was really the main purpose of this meet up, and he felt his heart slowly sink again right after that slight glimmer of hope.

"You came here to say goodbye didn't you?" Shawn stated slowly, his grip on your hand loosening as he leaned back on his seat, lost eyes staring right back at you as it started to tear up, hoping that you'll say no, that you'll tell him that it wasn't what you were here to do, but a nod was all it took for Shawn to confirm that you were indeed going away, and not just the vacation kind no, you were going far away in a sense of starting anew.

"I'm going to Greece, maybe live there for a bit." You breathed out, your eyes glued on the table as Shawn retracted his hand from yours, a frown grazing your lips at the loss of contact but you didn't say anything about.

Shawn swallowed the lump in his throat with a nod, eyes staring out at the streets of Toronto right outside the coffee shop, and you can just see his brain turning, his cheeks turning flush as the tears started to build into his eyes. "For how long?"

"I don't know."

"When?"

"Tomorrow." Shawn's eyes snapped back at yours at that, his heart beating ten times its normal speed as he stared at you with so many emotions. "Why?"

You bit the insides of your cheek as you thought of how you're going to word it, to make him understand, but then again, this is Shawn, if there was anyone who'd understand it more, it was him. "I've realized that my whole world revolves around you. I've become so dependent on you, not knowing what to do without you and always thinking about what you might need and want more than what I truly want."

Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his hair, his body turning anxious as he tries to grasp your words. "But I'm the same with you (Y/N), I'm so lost without you." He couldn't stop the soft sob that escaped his lips, the sound clenching at your heart, making you reach out to him as you cupped his face with both hands, his teary eyes staring right into yours as his bottom lip quivered.

He leaned into your touch like a puppy, your soft touch feeling so soft against his skin making him let out a soft sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips at the gesture as you caress his cheeks with your thumb. "You aren't lost without me bub, you've found who you are and what you're passionate about long before I came into the picture. I just made things easier for you by being there by your side whenever you need me. And now, things will get a bit harder, but it's nothing you can’t handle."

Shawn's eyes fell to the floor, a mixture of pain, worry and guilt filling him up at that thought that you were leaving him again, but this time, he doesn't know if he'll ever see you again, get the chance to actually be with you again. Leaning closer towards him and taking one of his hands in yours as you kept one on his face, you whispered. "Hey, look at me?" And Shawn did so, the curly boy sniffling with his bottom lip drawn between his teeth, trying his best to keep himself together and not to start bawling his eyes out.

"I love you and I think I always will, but I need to find myself. Be my best self, to love myself first before anyone else. And I've been putting you first before me in such a long time and it's just isn't healthy anymore Shawn, and I think you know that. I just need to find who I truly am, what my goal in life is and look for what I'm truly passionate about." Your own eyes was beginning to water, just seeing him in so much despair was more than enough for your heart to ache, but you have to do this, for yourself.

Shawn shook his head at your words, a shaky breath coming out of him as he so badly; desperately doesn’t want you to leave. "And I love you (Y/N) please–"

"Shawn, no, don't say that because I said it. I want you to say it when you are truly sure. I don't want you to love me because I love you. I want you to love me because you love me."

Shawn wanted to tell you that he does in fact love you, he wants to scream it, to tell the world, but what you said struck him. Was he really saying it because he means it or is it because you're saying it to him? That was when he knew he needed to figure out some things for himself too, and maybe you moving away was the best for the both of you.

So with a heavy heart Shawn nodded slowly, his hand coming up to cover yours that was resting on his cheek, a small smile grazing his lips as he said, "So this is goodbye then?" You shook your head no, "More like, see you later rockstar." Shawn lets out a small chuckle at that, knowing fully well that no other girl will ever compare to you, not matter what part of the world.

With a smile of your own you tugged at his hand as you stood to your full height, Shawn mirroring your actions and wasted no time in pulling you in for a warm embrace, the two of you sighing at the familiar feeling to hold each other, to be this close, to feel each other's warmth.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Shawn murmured against your hair, his tears falling freely down his cheeks as he held you for a little longer. "Me too Shawn, but this isn't the end." With that you pulled away, pushing his hair back with your fingers before cupping his cheek again, pulling him down as you placed a soft, lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth. Shawn's breath hitched at the contact, his brain not registering it quick enough until you flashed him one last smile and slowly took steps back. Both your hands hang in the air as none of you refused to let go yet, Shawn giving it one last squeeze until the warmth of your touch was replaced by the cold air of the coffee shop, your figure going straight to the door but not before looking back one last time and disappearing into view.

Shawn stood there, watching his best friend, the love of his life walking away from him for the second time around, only this time, it didn't sit as heavy as the first one, because Shawn knows that this was just the chapter closing and that there was more to come. Maybe right now, it wasn't their time yet, and when that time does come, they will get their chance.

***

2 years later...

The sound of the bustling streets of a little town in Santorini was already so familiar to you, being that you've lived here for a couple of years, already. You've grown to love it more and more each time, the people, the culture, and not to mention the beautiful view of the caldera and the pleasure of seeing a breathtaking sunset all the time.

You walk mindlessly with your camera hanging around your neck, your white sundress flowing against the wind as you greeted the vendors and some familiar faces with bright smiles, taking endless snaps after snaps of the people and the view, adding more things to post on your blog or to display at the little coffee shop you work in.

You'd think that after two whole years of being here you'd get used to how everything looks, but never did you ever as every time you look out at the ocean in front you, it leaves you in awe just as much as the first time you laid eyes on it. The white structures of houses littered all on the edge, giving it its own beauty that the tall buildings of Toronto could never compare. Though you do miss home, you've never been so happy and content with yourself as right now, standing in one of the most beautiful islands here in Greece, one that would hold a special place in your heart no matter what.

Once the camera was up against your face, you tend to lose any sense of the space around you, easily lost between the lens as you try to get the best shot as possible. And sometimes when doing so, you don't realize that you're moving back incautiously until you bump into something, or someone.

"Oof Signómi!" You squeaked out of instinct, the impact too fast and hard making you stumble on your feet, your eyes shutting tight as you hugged your camera to your chest, feeling a hand grabbed at your waist to prevent you from toppling over, but when the man spoke, you heart stopped.

"(Y/N)?"

And sure enough when you opened your eyes, the face you saw was already a familiar one, too familiar for that matter. "Shawn?" The curly boy grinned and despite the sunglasses that adorned his face, you can just imagine his eyes crinkling in the process. "Hi love."

Your mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water, the words failing to form as you stared up at the boy–well a man now–that still sits a place in your heart, nowhere near expecting to see him. "Out of all the places Andrew wanted to visit, I found you in midst of it." Shawn muttered, unable to wipe the stupid grin on his face, in complete disbelief at the unlikely encounter but he was nowhere near complaining.

"Really?" "Yeah, Jake's right over there." Shawn jerked his head behind him, and sure enough, the big man was standing just a few feet away, giving you a wave as he munch on the bread in his hand. You giggled as you look back up at Shawn who hasn’t stopped looking at you from the moment you bumped into each other.

You tilted your head to the side as you quirked an eyebrow at him, your cheeks starting to hurt due to smiling endlessly. "Coincidence?"

Shawn chuckled with a tilt of his head, hand leaving your waist for a quick moment to remove the sunglasses and hooking it on his white shirt, his hair dancing with the wind, his beautiful hazel eyes now coming to view as he stared at you adoringly. "I think not."

"I'm so happy so see you again, you have no idea." The tall boy spoke again, his voice gentle as the breeze but the need in them so powerful, hand giving your waist a soft squeeze as he leaned down to press his forehead against yours, making you hum at the familiar closeness, your eyes staring up at him and god you miss looking into these specific hazel orbs. "Me too Shawn, it's been what? Two, almost three years?"

"Too long." Shawn groaned playfully, emitting another giggle from you and he swore he felt his heart grow bigger at the sound, it being so long since the last time he's heard it.

"You look like a man now." You teased, eyes scanning him head to toe, Shawn's head shaking in pure laughter as he pulled you closer to him, nose almost brushing as he cupped your cheek with one hand. "And you look like an absolute goddess." Shawn gushed, thumb caressing your skin, unable to believe his eyes to actually see you standing here in the flesh, and oh how he wanted to kiss those pretty lips so bad.

"Catch up over coffee, tea, or me?" You whispered with a teasing smirk, not wanting to get too friendly with him just yet, and of course, Shawn was quick to catch this, so with a chuckle he pulled away, but not fully as he intertwined his fingers with yours. "Lead the way mi lady."

As you walked side by side, Shawn dipped his head out of nowhere, hot breath fanning on your skin as he spoke. "Oh, and I'll always pick you out of anything, to drink up, eat up, everything." He whispered lowly against your ear, you heart leaping out of your chest as you looked up at him with flushed cheeks, that cocky grin of his playing on his lips as he shot you a wink, feeling so proud that he still got it even after all this years.

You only bumped your shoulder with his arm–due to the height difference–making him let out a hearty laugh, the sound echoing through the warm air as the two of you rekindle the old flame that never did die out, feeling that never did leave nor lessen no matter how far or how long you've been away with one another.

Because a love like that will never fade, and right now was the perfect time for the two of you, the perfect time to continue your love story and to ensure that it has a happy ending this time.

-:-:-:-:-

Like & Reblog if you enjoyed and let me know what you think! x

Permanent Taglist: @dylshoney @keithseabrook27 @outlandishnerd @particularsof @chrizzy95 @drunklili @killmekatie @aspiring-fangirls-world @lettingtherosegrow @shawnshoodies @nedthegay @luvluvxx @adonishawn @justanotherfangurl272 @dragonqveendany

let me know if you want to be added/removed from the permanent taglist loves! <3

594 notes · View notes