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drartslog · 1 year

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Barn scene breakdown-1

Second part coming in a couple of hours as I have to rewrite it due to network collapse *sigh*

Now that it was announced that Joseph left... Guess all I have left are these precious little bits of his acting mastery. Get ready, this scene is an emotional train wreck

Let’s do this.

First shot, camera heavily tilted to the left.

Before Charlotte Brändström said this angle was to show how Adar tips Galadriel off balance, me and my partner had a discussion on whether it is to show that they’re both Distorted (yes, with Melkor’s darkness) or it is a victory OR even sin scales leaning towards Galadriel.

Galadriel’s standing dagger in hand, full body towards Adar, in an undeniable position of power, although she’s keeping her distance to be able see Adar clearly.

Adar is stripped of the gauntlet and whatever piece of rusted shit tip of sauron’s spear lol he’s carrying for a knife, he’s sitting in a very insecure pose, back to the wall, legs drawn to chest, his pierced hand hugging his mangled one.

Also, take notice how the light falls through the openings, just slightly casting Galadriel in itself and never touching Adar. They’re both quite deep in the dark, aren’t they? :)

Adar’s listening but looking past Galadriel, somewhere down and to the left of her (from Adar’s POV).

What might seem as a wandering gaze is actually a gaze fixed on her dagger. He doesn’t seem to fear her at all but it quite seems he’s waiting whether the torture is going to arrive or not. He’ll be looking at the dagger more or less until Galadriel threatens to torture the orcs.

Ah, there we go. Let me close-up.

The moment Galadriel says “the Sons of the Dark“ Adar’s lips’s corners twist down in a bitter smirk. (A vid might show it better)

And yes, “the Sons of the Dark“ does sound like it’s some title, something these elves chose to be, a name that they might carry with pride as the servants of Melkor. Adar is both bitter and angry at the assumption.

Adar glances at Galadriel for the first time.

The self-naming thing is the only thing he will put up a fight for. He doesn’t even begin to argue with the twisted, the ruined, the slaves, the scourge, as he knows his fight won’t matter to his captor, that all his statements will be disregarded.

The self-naming doesn’t interest Galadriel either (understandable, the Orcs are her enemy, she doesn’t want them to be humanized), as she cuts in

(Adar’s back looking at the dagger)

Adar bursts out laughing. At least what he substitutes for a burst of laughter.

He could’ve told her, he really could, all the stuff that passed unnoticed in the forest before her very eyes. But would she ever believe him, the enemy, that her friend is the true Enemy?

It is Adar’s continuous stare at the dagger that seems to make Galadriel realize she’s holding onto it.

I’m not guessing whether she has tortured Orcs before, but she’s really not into torturing in cold blood someone who resembles her kin so uncomfortably. She glances at the dagger in doubt, then finds another way.

We know this threat’s enough to make Adar start talking.

But it’s also the only thing that actually makes him look away from the potential source of his own torture (the dagger) for the first time and look at the potential source of torture for his Uruks (the sun). He blinks as the threat settles in.

It’s also the first time you can see his eyes glisten with unshed tears.

He starts talking while looking at the Uruks.

(Interesting word choice, though, he calls Melkor Morgoth, “The Black Foe of the World”, a title Feanor gave him and Elves used as an insult. But it is probably because tRoP doesn’t have the rights for “Melkor”)

He will never even once glance at Galadriel during his speech.

(Interesting word choice-2, though, as it shows us Adar called Sauron something else. Tar-Mairon probably, the guy loved that name)

He now stares into nothingness and his lips tremble when he talks about a power over flesh. The tears in his eyes can be fully seen now.

Mawle is playing it full PTSD-flashback mode, tbh. The sheer amount of shit Adar’s seen is reflected in his tired and strained expression.

Also let me point out this is the first time he’s ever talking about his feat of taking down the greatest Maia to walk Middle-Earth. Not a good time, not the best person to spill out to.

“He bid as many as he could follow him far North. But tried, as he might, something was missing. A shadow of dark knowledge that kept itself hidden. Even from him.“

And oh, Galadriel believes him really well.

She has been there, she has been to the stronghold where Sauron died, she has even felt the coldest chamber where the Uruk torture and, presumably, the murder occured. She blinks as shifts gaze as she realizes Adar’s telling the truth.

Adar’s not forgiving Sauron for what he did. He’s looking even lower than before, completely at the floor, even shaking his head a little bit.

He calls the Uruk “children”, he also expresses his discontent with what Sauron did.

And that’s what (quite literally) pulls Galadriel out of trance.

She has been unconsciously leaning towards Adar as he was telling the story but now that the spell is broken, she pulls back and keeps distance.

This is the first time he says these words out loud, “I killed Sauron”. It seems it’s hard for him to believe himself as at first he states it differently, “I split him open”, and only then makes himself acknowledge and say “I killed Sauron“.

It’s a confession Adar makes more to himself then to Galadriel.

Of course she doesn’t. She unifies everything that is connected to Melkor and can’t take in that someone on THAT side might actually not be on Melkor’s or Sauron’s side.

Now it’s Adar who’s not impressed at all. The camera does a job of breaking the viewers neck to see it, and I have a feeling it was to further deepen the misunderstanding between Galadriel and Adar. Galadriel just can’t see him right.

He tilts his head and looks back up at Galadriel for the first time since his story. Lets out an amused exhale (can’t show that on a gif!)

Adar seems to know the drill. I guess it’s not his first time talking to the Elves as an Uruk. So the Elven concept of “Orcs are indescibably inferior to us“ is very well-known to him.

By now he’s just saying it for her, mocking her, showing her he knows what she’s about to say.

But Adar is wrong, it wasn’t the Uruks in whole Galadriel was thinking of.

Oh that contempt in her eyes as she’s looking him up and down. She doesn’t see him as a threat, she doesn’t see him as a leader, she doesn’t see him as anything at all.

And then we get aboard the actual emotional train wreck that is this scene because Galadriel’s view of the world finally snaps Adar (and it’s not the personal insult that gets him but her view of the Uruks)

Galadriel’s isn’t taking that. For her, Orcs are definitely not a race of their own. They’re mindless beasts unleashed by Morgoth/Sauron.

Galadriel gets Adar even more, notice how his lips tremble and how his eyebrows and lower eyelids move before he says “a heart“. That’s what it looks like to argue and not believe you’ll ever be heard.

He isn’t heard. For Galadriel, Orcs are connected to Melkor, therefore they’re evil and that’s all there is to it.

And so Adar appeals to the only being they both have little knowledge about, trying to get to her through religion, if nothing else works.

They interrupt each other during this argument, the dialogue speeding up, showing each one passionately standing their own ground, ready to defend their own view of the world.

Galadriel isn’t ready to comprehend that Orcs may not want to serve Melkor/Sauron and may have wishes of their own. Something as simple as a home or just a life. Adar’s simply tired and miserable from hitting against the wall even as he tries again and again. There are tears in his eyes as he says the “just as worthy of a breath of life“ line. Firstly I thought it was just light reflection but no, the tears are perfectly seen when he blinks (after the word “life”). This freaking moment breaks my heart every time I see it

Galadriel’s world collides against that. She hasn’t the slightest idea what to do with his words at first as they don’t match anything she thinks or believes in. She just stands there as her brain is trying to cope.

Adar saves her the need to immediately answer.

He’s looking at the floor, at the tunnel dig from Orodruin.

Galadriel’s brain copes. And it does so the easiest way, repelling everything she has just heard, so her world may stay the same as before.

Galadriel is rejecting everything Adar has said, repeating out loud what she has always thought about the Orcs.

#adar #galadriel #drart says #trop breakdown #rings of power #adar rings of power #lotr rings of power #trop amazon #rop amazon #i just wanna die in a corner #this scene breaks me every time #joseph mawle #morfydd clark #mawle's acting is SOMETHING #i died cutting this scene to gifs #halbrand #charlie vickers #adar's hopeless opus that's what this scene is

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wartakes · 9 months

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What Comes Next? (OLD ESSAY)

This essay was originally posted on January 21st, 2021.

This is the essay that actually responds to January 6th (as the one that was posted on January 6th was actually before everything happened and had nothing to do with it, lol). (Full essay below the cut).

So, I guess it’s finally time to talk about the last couple weeks.

On the morning of January 6th I had just posted an essay I’d rant-written over an hour or two the night prior about an op-ed on Military.com calling for war criminal Robert Bales to be pardoned by now former-President Donald Trump (thankfully, Bales does not appear to have been included in Trump’s last minute Pardonpalooza – sucks to suck Bobby Boy). I figured that would be the thing I’d be the angriest or distressed about that day, or even that week.

Yeah, so, we know what happened in the second half of the day.

I’ll be honest, I intended to write something about all this sooner. God knows that I’m a little late to the game on all this. A lot of my favorite analysts, podcasters, and other content creators have all already done their bits on the January 6th insurrection/riot/whatever by now. But I decided to sit tight before I put my thoughts down on “paper” as it were for a couple reasons.

The first reason was equal parts paranoia and selfishness. I held my fire because with the threats and increasingly tense situation surrounding the inauguration, I wanted to wait until after Biden was sworn in before I wrote anything because – much like my Bales essay being overcome by events – I was afraid I’d write something only to have an actual coup de tat kick off five minutes after posting it (Note: as of writing this, Biden has successfully been sworn in and is in the White House probably saying “listen Jack” to his staff repeatedly).

The second reason was, I honestly didn’t know what to write and didn’t know exactly how I felt about everything and I still am struggling. Since January 6th, I’ve felt just about every emotion I think is possible at least once a day – often more than once. I’ve mellowed out a lot since then and feel a lot better today, but I’ll be real with you all, I was kind of a wreck for a bit with everything going on (if you’re worried, I’m ok, and thank you).

This essay is going to be a bit disjointed compared to some of my other works, but this is just something I wanted to get off my chest and out of my head to help myself make sense of things, and maybe it’ll help other folks in that way too. I’ll try and follow it up with something approaching intelligent analysis on how we should think about this and deal with it going forward. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can get back to my usual fare. For now, let’s do this.

How Do I Feel?

I’ve spent most of my adult life learning and training to be a national security professional and then (finally) starting to work in the field. I’ve typically been what you’d call a generalist. I’ve dipped my toe in a bit of everything, but I’ve largely focused on conflict between states in all its various forms throughout my academic and professional career.

With that in mind, another reason I was slow to write about this was that I’m not the best person to. While I’ve always been aware of and concerned about the dangers of the far-right and white nationalism and all the other toxic elements in American politics, it wasn’t until the last four years – and the final stages of my radicalization as a leftist in the last year in particular – that I truly began to appreciate the gravity of the threat. I’ve never focused on any of this in my studies or work. I’ve never been an expert on far-right paramilitary violence and domestic terrorism and all of that. I’ve never even been an expert on terrorism and political violence in general. I watched what happened on the 6th unfold in real time over livestream, talking with my close friends and family as it occurred – which in a way, made it even harder and take even more time to process it. I’ve seen plenty of events unfold like that in other countries before, but it was just that: foreign. Something that happens over there, not back here.

In a way, I had a massive cognitive dissonance about the event as it was happening. On one hand, it was entirely shocking and surprising that this could happen in the United States of America of all places, in the 21st century. And yet, at the same time, I couldn’t help but think “well of course something like this finally happened, how could it not have?” We’ve been building up to something like this for years now. It didn’t help that while I now view the government and many institutions with a much more critical eye given my change in politics, I can’t deny the monuments and symbology still hold some kind of value to me emotionally, and seeing far-right Trump supporters bashing their way inside and running amok fucked me up some (this in addition to some personal connections I have to the Capitol that made it all hit a little close to home, but I don’t really want to get into that here).

So, where am I going with this? That’s a good question. I guess my point here is, amidst the mix of emotions I felt over the past week or two, the overriding one was fear. I was scared. And I’m here to tell you that if you were scared as well, that’s ok. That’s valid, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Was what happened at the Capitol as bad as it could have been? No. I’ve heard a lot of 9/11 comparisons and while I agree some are ham fisted, and while January 6th was nowhere near as deadly as 9/11, it still left me with the same sense of fear and uncertainty that event did when I was a kid. It was still a traumatic event in a lot of ways, and if you feel scared by it, don’t let anyone make you feel like shit for feeling what you feel.

I’ve seen a lot of people cracking jokes about what happened on twitter and elsewhere. That’s fine. Honestly, one reason it’s been hard to make sense of everything after the 6th has been the fact that while the insurrection was serious, it was also in many ways, laughable in its events. I mean, c’mon. You have the Q Shaman dressed up in a fur faux-Viking outfit. How can you not joke about this shit in some shape or form? It’s impossible not to.

I’ve absolutely made a lot of gallows humor among friends myself to deal with what happened. As Hawkeye Pierce once said on M*A*S*H, sometimes joking is the only way you can open your mouth without screaming. When this becomes unhelpful or hurtful is when the joking becomes less about working through something you’re feeling and more about trivializing it and dismissing it as something that is not worth your concern and attention. That is not fine, and it pisses me off in a major way. Not only does it feel like punching down, but it also feels like it misses the implications of what happened for us as leftists and the country as a whole.

Again, was this as bad is it could have been? No. Was it the worst thing ever to happen to or in America? Not by a long shot. But it is extremely concerning and should be a warning to us for what might come next. Even if the riots themselves didn’t amount to much, and in many places were laughable, it was also extremely fortunate they were not worse – as there are now plenty of indications that they could have been much, much worse.

While there are a lot of people on the left that have been keenly aware of the threat of right-wing violence for years now, this may be a wakeup call for many who either weren’t as aware or didn’t think it was as serious or extensive as it’s turned out to be. While we all may have been affected in different ways and to different degrees but the last few weeks, what we need to agree on is that far-right violence and extremism is a problem that is only going to get worse before it gets better, even now that Trump has left the White House. Trump was only the beginning. We need to brace ourselves because what has become clear is that the last few years if we want to stop things much worse than what happened on January 6th from occurring in the future.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Ok, so I just disgorged about a thousand words or more in change at you about my own jumble of personal feelings about all this. I feel like I owe you something a bit more thought out on what we should be trying to do from here on in to deal with the oncoming wave of chuddery.

First off, there are two important ideas that need to be understood in tandem – to some folks these may be obvious but I’m going to state them anyway to drive the point home: 1.) this is not a problem that cropped up overnight; and 2.) this is not a problem that will be taken care of in four years or eight years or even more than that. The current form of far-right extremism that we face is not one that suddenly cropped up after Trump became President. It has its roots going back more than thirty years. The problems of white supremacy in particular are entwined with the very founding of the nation. These are problems that are going to need to be dealt with over the course of a generation – more likely, multiple generations. It is going to require us to fundamentally change as a society, which I do not believe is impossible, but I do think it will be a long and hard effort with many twists and turns and missteps along the way.

Another key takeaway that I don’t think that a lot of people on the left are going to need convincing on is that this is not a problem that can or should be solved solely through arrests and imprisonment and violent crackdown from the state. I’ll say right now that some new Patriot Act II: The Patrioting, is 100% not the answer. As a national security professional, I can tell you right now that if the government can’t stop what happened on the 6th or any of the other incidences of far-right violence in recent years with the massive toolbox of domestic surveillance and counter-terrorism infrastructure it already has – and arguably shouldn’t have in the first place, there’s no way some new domestic version of the Patriot Act is going to do it (and it’ll just get turned against leftists and minorities anyway, let’s be real). Giving more money to cops certainly isn’t going to solve shit – especially when a number of them are part of these movements, as well as more than a few troops in the military).

That being said, another thing that the left may need more convincing on is that some of these people will never be convinced to give up what they believe. That is not to say that all of them are lost causes. I don’t believe that every person who voted for Trump is a QAnon adherent or a fascist in waiting, and they can’t be forgotten and need to be brought along for the ride in building a better world – after all, I became a socialist because I want life to be better for everyone, not just everyone I like who believes in my ideology. Likewise, I don’t believe that every person that gets caught up in far-right extremist movements is necessarily a lost cause. Some of them may be able to be helped through some kind of de-programming and de-radicalization effort (there’s a lot of discourse on how appropriate the cult comparison is QAnon, but I think this is an apt one), but we need to accept that some people are never going to surrender their beliefs and will always consider people like us as an existential threat.

Where am I going with this? Well, here’s that part that may not go over as well. I definitely fear state overreach and abuse of power in light of what happened on the sixth – which I hope was already demonstrated by my apprehension about any kind of new domestic terror law. But even with all of that in mind, some of these people are going to have to be arrested and go to prison.

Let me be clear: the criminal justice system and law enforcement in this country are fundamentally flawed. I think they need to be completely rebuilt – not reformed but torn down and rebuilt from scratch. Not only that, but they also need to be rebuilt as part of a system that prioritizes social services that prevent crime and violence from occurring long before it ever gets to the point of involving law enforcement or any form of detention or corrections – and that those need to be done in as humane a way as possible. But I still think they need to exist. Why? The same reason I think a military will still need to exist. Because no matter what, somehow, some way, there will always be someone who wishes to do harm for one reason or another. We can try and help as many people who have been drawn in by far-right movements as we can, but we need to come to terms before we get deeper into the struggle that we cannot help them all.

What that point gets across is that dealing with this problem in the years to come isn’t just going to be accomplished by doing all the good things we’ve always wanted to do. It is going to require us doing things that some leftists may be fundamentally uncomfortable with. Things that involve the use of force and wielding of power by the state. I wasn’t happy at all about the fact we deployed more troops in Washington D.C. than we have in both Iraq and Afghanistan combined in order to guarantee what normally should be a peaceful transfer of power. But as much as that made me uncomfortable and scared and angry, I can’t say that it wasn’t entirely necessary.

I am not saying we need to discard our own principles to deal with extremism. In fact, I would argue against that strongly and forcefully. If we acted in a way contrary to every concept of social justice and human rights and democracy that we claim to uphold, then we’d be no better than those who passed the Patriot Act, let alone any authoritarian police state that has existed past, present, or future – be it fascist or socialist. But there are things that we are going to need to address and come to terms with as a movement. I don’t begin to claim to have the answers, but I do know there are tough conversations that will need to be had. I believe in a better world, but not in a utopian one. We need to come to terms with that going forward.

Keep On Keeping On

I’ve been a little all over the map since the 6th, but as my mind has cleared some, if nothing else I’ve emerged with a renewed sense of purpose in the aftermath of what happened that day. It has reaffirmed the beliefs I started to be honest with myself about almost a year ago when the mask finally began to come off to me. It has made me more certain about what side I am on and the kind of future that I want to live in.

While I still believe things can and will get better, I also unfortunately believe they will likely get worse before they do. As Joe Biden is inaugurated, there are already signs that the disillusioned once-QAnon faithful who for so long “trusted the plan” only to be let down and questioning everything they believe, are being targeted by more violent and accelerationist far-right groups for recruitment. There are also plenty of people who will likely maintain their loyalty to the QAnon theory in some shape or form and that movement is in the process of an uncertain transformation. And while many Republican have tried to disconnect themselves from far-right elements, there are still more than a few who not only remain tied to them but court them as a power base. This is a problem that is going to stick around in multiple forms for a long time, whether it be QAnon, a Q offshoot, your basic white nationalism, outright fascism, and etc.

This all should give us a renewed sense of urgency, as well as purpose. If we didn’t believe it before, we have to believe now we are engaged in a political struggle for the future – our right to exist in a more just, safe, peaceful, democratic world. January 6th and the reactions and aftermath of it should drive home to you that the stakes are very much real. That we need to work even harder to organize and mobilize the people of this country to enact change for the better.

Moreover, as things will likely get worse before they get better, we need to be prepared for that. While we should never seek out violence, we need to be prepared if violence seeks us out – as it has been apt to do so far. Much has been said about the police response to the insurrection on the 6th. The bungled response appears to have not been due to any one factor, but that none of them bode well in sum. Police collusion and sympathy, a lack of taking the threat seriously, and a lack of the necessary skills or competence when it actually wants to deal with the far-right threat means that we cannot depend on law enforcement to protect us as it is currently structured.

Again – and I cannot stress this enough – this does not mean we should seek out violence. If anyone has fantasies about a Second Civil War, take it from someone who has spent their entire adult life watching still-ongoing civil wars in Syria, Libya, Yemen, and other places: you don’t fucking want that. Period. Full stop. But if anything has been made clear by the rise in right wing terrorism in the last decade, is a reality that we need to watch out for ourselves as we try to move forward. Simply put we can’t make a better world if we don’t live to see it through.

Its ok to be scared. Let yourself be scared for a bit if you feel the need. My Mom always has said you have to let yourself be sad or upset for a while before you can be not upset. But don’t despair. Don’t give in to hopelessness. Nothing is set in stone. Time is not a flat circle, despite what many might tell you. We can make a better world, but we need to be clear headed about the challenges we are going to face going forward in doing that, and we need to be ready for them. So, suit up for the long-haul kiddos. I’ll be here with you, contributing in my own way, going on about war and foreign policy and my usual hobby horses. I don’t plan on going anywhere and neither should you. If we have that resolve, that in itself is a starting victory.

#War Takes #War Takes essay #essay #January 6th #January 6th 2021 #january 6th insurrection #Donald Trump #socialism #leftism #democratic socialism #far-right #fascism #terrorism #domestic terrorism #insurrection #qanon conspiracy #anti fascism

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thatpunkmaximoff · 8 months

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Story: 5 out of 5 Smut: 0 out of 5

Hands down, this is my favorite fantasy read of the year!

I think, however, that the thing I loved most about The Forgotten Goddess is that it dives right into the character meetings and drama. Sure, I love a good world building and character-building story, but this one builds as the story progresses from the very first chapter. I liked that it wasn't a hundred pages of info dump before diving into the action. You get the action from the very beginning!

This book also has a little bit of everything. There's humor, there are feel-good moments, action, magical moments, and angst. Ugh, the angst!

I flipped page after page, not wanting to put the book down. And then when it was finally over, I was an emotional wreck. I have no idea how I'm gonna hold out for book 2 lol.

Now enjoy my rambling thoughts..

* Rhea flipping off Ethan in the bookstore and making him laugh has me grinning like an idiot 🤗 They only said a handful of words to each other! How am I already shipping it..? 🤔 😆

* How the hell did I not know werewolves were going to be part of this 😨

* Holy shit. She saw through his Mirage. It’s meant to be 😏 lol

* So Ethan is Hermes..

* Shit. The shifters took the girls 😒 Come on, wake up and fuck shit up!

* Well nevermind. Fucking collars.

* Oh hell yes! She still has access to her powers! 🙌🏻

* Lupo went from being a creep to a raging asshole. Big middle finger for you, my dude 🖕🏽

* Ugh.. I feel so bad for the girls 😩

* They’re saved. Oh thank god. And even unconscious, she called Hermes’ name 😏 I ship it even more now 😂

* Goddamn. She exploded out of her cuffs. Good for her. I didn’t like the whole mind violation.

* “Well, I’ll just come out and say it. Rhea, you’re an immortal goddess.” — Lmfao. Way to drop the bomb, Atlas 😂

* Her memories.. aren’t hers? 🥺

* Kind of jealous of the portlet system lol. I wish we could transport food and stuff into our homes like nothing.

* Man, Hermes does not like Flint lol.

* Four elements. You lucky duck 😏

* Flint and Rhea in the closet.. ugh. Hermes ripping the door open and being livid.. 😍

* Aww. That “almost” moment in the hallway out her apartment had me so excited. But she thinks it’s only a joke 🥺

* Oh. Oh no. The dreams are memories.. and he couldn’t feel the mate bond with her 😩

* Damien 💔

* “Turn. It. Off.” — whoa. Klaus Mikaelson flashbacks 😂

* Oohhh. That close call with Lupo had my heart pounding.

* Who the fuck was in Rhea’s apartment 🤔

* Awww. Rhea and Callie’s friendship is everything 🥰 That panic attack was starting to make me tense 😬

* Another memory? Only this time she’s a different person? And Ares smiling sadly as he tells her, “You are home. As I always remind you.” Don’t tell me they’re related 👀 😬

* Temple of Kukulcán? Now I’m having a Namor flashback from Black Panther 2 😂

* Oh. Not related. He wants her to rule with him.. No, sir. You can’t have her.

* Oh no. Achilles had to kill Patroclus 💔💔💔

* Fuckkkk. That memory of the car crash..? Brutal.

* Where the fuck did Rhea end up after Atlas put her in the portal?!

* “I found you. I’ll always find you.” — well I was supposed to stop reading for the night, but guess who’s reading one more chapter?

* ATHENA TOO?! 💔 And they think she’s a spy 😩 Wtf, man.

* “Just survive” — those words are gonna make me cry 😔

* Ohhh, fuck you, Flint! I can’t believe y’all kidnapped aunt Demi.

* Aunt Demi!!!! 🥺

* Medusa is GORGEOUS 😍

* “I’m sorry, I don’t have separate cottages for everyone.” — do I sense forced proximity? And hopefully only one bed? 😂

* One bed, one bed, one bed! 😏

* Hermes is having pervy thoughts and I’m here for it.

* Oh come on! The tension between these two is killing me 😩

* The Forgotten Goddess poem gave me chills!! And now we know who is responsible for the memory tampering 😬

* Dude, that training session got hot 🥵

* She’s gonna break her own heart and leave..? I don’t like it here anymore 😭

* They finally kissed!!!! Please don’t leave, Rhea 🥺

* Holy shit. She restored Flora 😨

* She’s his mate.. but their connection is severed. Why are you doing this to me 😩

* “Don’t you see? Not even death is strong enough to keep us apart. We have found each other a hundred times, and I’ll find you a hundred more. Across every lifetime, in any realm, my soul belongs to no one else but you.” — what the fuck are you doing to me, Rebekah?! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

* Aunt Demi..? 🥺 You- you’re with Ares?

* Ana?! Why the fuck is there so much betrayal 💔

* THEY FUCKING DIDNT!? Did his sword just pierce who I think it did?????

* We know her name. We know her name! We finally know who she is.

* More betrayal?! For fuck’s sake, man.

* Wait.. what?! It can’t end like this. I need book two asap!

#the forgotten goddess #book review #booktok #forgotten goddess #rebekah sinclair #greek mythology #rhea crenshaw #ethan #hermes #calypso #achilles #ares #atlas #athena #medusa

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hazzabeeforlou · 1 year

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Hi, I’m Toni.

Got a slew of new followers and I’ve been almost inactive the last half a year (at least) so wanted to do an update/intro so you know who I am LOL and so my long suffering fandom besties know what the fuck’s been going on (if anyone still cares rip sorry it’s been forever)

Currently writing this from my sick bed of ear cellulitis? That I got from wearing my mask? It would literally only happen to me. Had to go to urgent care and get a butt shot of antibiotics so it didn’t, you know, spread to my bloodstream :)

Anyways I say that to say that I probably got sick in the first place because I’m incredibly run down right now. The classical music world (im a professional musician) FINALLY opened up again, and to meet gig demands I only work my pandemic retail job once a week. I have been traveling the last four weekends in a ROW, which, due to my chronic pain (which has seen SOME improvement over the last year!!) makes me super duper exhausted and I have to admit tik tok has been getting most of my brain numbing time.

Life post-happy drugs has been tough. I’ve seen improvement in the areas I wanted to, physically, but mentally god. Drugs were nice. Anywho, I’ve done a ton of witchy/ancestral connecting/herbalist kinda things the last six months, and I now have an alter and a spiritual practice that has really brought me a lot of growth and meaning. It’s hard healing from your past when you’re still living IN it… and there’s no improvement with my parents. They’re still homophobic as hell and Republican as fuck, despite screaming matches. The threats of physical violence prevent me from confronting my dad any further. I’ve kind of given up hoping they will ever change.

It’s funny though, I would classify this year as the year I started to “feel” things, and of course that happened physically post the drugs, but also emotionally once I started to let myself FEEL emotions, god what a train wreck. Who knew humans could CRY so much? That emotional revelation led to the probably overdue realization that I’m likely Autistic and high masking, and have been suffering from that classic 30’s wall that “gifted girl high masking autistic children” eventually hit wherein they are no longer able to just push through and ignore. That’s been tough.

Writing has always been how I process and understand emotions, and now that I’ve started to actually FEEL them, it hasn’t become as essential to my functioning as it had been the last six or so years. I miss it, and I plan on finishing all my projects I left behind… as I’ve said many time The Garden part 3 IS coming I promise lol. But! Hopefully. And no promises. But I have the most delightful Christmas fic tucked into my head that I would love to publish this year, if I can find the time to get it on paper.

Okay as for fandom… I did a “growth thing” earlier this year and deleted all the bbygate stuff I’d been saving for the inevitable end. I just can’t anymore. All the photoshop, the blatant exploitation of it all… yeah I think the best option is just not to care. If they’re gonna drag this out for the rest of my life then I’m going to ignore the shit out of it. Speaking of ignoring, I also noped out of the H and O nonsense. God. What a MESS. I liked HH, truly, but the fave for me was Matilda. To be honest with you all, I listened until I grew naturally full of the album and I moved on with my life, it wasn’t world changing to me the way FL was. HOWEVER. FITF? Lord save me i didn’t even know it was coming out and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m fucking obsessed. I’m planning a MP. I genuinely think it’s Louis’ finest work and I can’t get enough of it. Every time I listen I like it MORE. I theorize it’s going to be a slow blooming album that smacks everyone’s expectations in the face. I’m so fucking proud of Louis. I bawled real ugly tears at Common People.

And lastly as always, I believe the boys were in love but I make no claims about their lives now. I enjoy the hints and speculation and love larrying along, but I think they’ve established these personas that are bulletproof to fan speculation these days, and I feel that’s how they truly want it. And that’s cool, won’t stop me from writing Larry because it was the truest gayest baby Star crossed lovers story out there and still makes the best fan fic.

Apologies for the novel but nice to meet you if you’re new HI I’M TRYING TO BE BACK to my old chums, and feel free as always to talk to me, my ask box is always open ❤️

#mine #personal #hiiiiii guys

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widow-maximov · 3 years

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i don’t know if anyone requested this but i can’t find a fanfiction where it’s the aftermath of what happened to natasha and wanda being happy her girlfriend is back, but sad that she and the reader lost their other girlfriend. i hope that made sense… an angsty wandanat basically lol.

I will be more than happy to do the aftermath of Natasha death and their way of processing. You also didn't specify whether it should be sad ending or happy so I gave a happy ending?

────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

I'm sorry...

Pairing: Wanda x Natasha x Reader

Warning: Language, some fluff and a lot of angst. enjoy :3

Summary: Y/n is finally happy with her 2 girlfriends; Natasha and Wanda but it seems as if the universe has different plans for Y/n.

Word count: 3.7k

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

Present

"How is that my fault?" You asked, taking a few steps away from Wanda.

She stared at you with anger "It's all your fault Y/n.. and you know it"

You didn't recognise the woman in front of you, the woman who you loved with every piece of you, the pain in your heart was worse than any injury you ever had experience and that says a lot..

6 years ago

Everything seems to be in place, you are cuddled into Natasha whilst Wanda is cuddled into you, you would've never thought that these two women would be even partly interested in you but you was wrong and now you are more than happy to be here with them.

It hasn't been long since the three of you have gotten together but it has been enough time to get really attached. It didn't take long for the three of you to sleep in one bed, to be fair it started right after you made it official. You didn't mind at all, you felt safe and that's all you really wanted.

You was trained by Natasha every morning which you hated as you always wanted to sleep in but at the same time you loved it... because like who doesn't want to be pinned down by the Black Widow?

Then eventually Wanda would join, you would be one step ahead of her and nearly being able to beat her when Natasha joined and again you ended up being on the floor with now two of them pinning you.

You definitely didn't mind, especially since they would shower you with kisses, they would tease you at how they still ended up beating you, you would roll your eyes but still enjoy these little moments, it made your mornings a lot more better.

A thought struck you as your innocent smile turned into a smirk, currently it was team movie night, the three of you under one blanket, your hand that was resting on Natasha's chest, slowly slid down her stomach, causing her breath to hitch. The movie was boring and you wanted to mess with Natasha like she always messes with you and Wanda.

You faced Wanda and she saw your smirk, she already knew what you were doing as she read your mind and just smirked back, she put her hand under the blanket and used her powers to restrain Natasha from making sudden moves.

You turned to face Natasha again, your hand going underneath her shirt, she tried to move but she noticed the restrains and her face turned towards Wanda so quickly no one would even notice it was a movement, she gave Wanda a glare as she narrowed her eyes which just caused Wanda to smirk again.

Your gaze was on Natasha this whole time to watch her reaction, your hand lingered around her breasts but then progressively it moved down and closer towards her legs.

"What are you doing?" She whispered just enough so you and Wanda could hear.

"I want to go to our room" You ignored her question and looked into her eyes, you could see some sense of lust slowly consuming them.

She let out a shaky breath when your hand stopped so close where she wanted you to be "Wanda let me go" It was a demand which only fuel the two of you.

"Are we going to leave? Or you want us to fuck you right here next to them" That's all Natasha needed to hear, Wanda knew how to push Natasha's buttons.

"I think I'm going to head to bed" Natasha spoke a little to loudly, which attracted everyone's attention.

You smirked but innocently said "Oh really? Well we will join you then"

Just like that, Wanda let go of Natasha and you moved your hand, getting up together whilst Natasha almost jumped up and rushed out of the room.

You looked over at Wanda and then back at speeding off Nat "What's the rush babe? We were thinking about a snack before bed"

Nat stopped and turned around to face you as she walked over and grabbed your hand and Wanda's "No you're not"

She looked at the team "Goodnight!" and rushed away from them whilst you and Wanda laughed.

5 years ago

"Okay, here is the plan, we need to prevent Thanos from snapping his fingers, and take that stupid gauntlet" Tony instructed and everyone agreed.

Just before you was about to shoot off to help evacuate people, Wanda with Nat pulled you into a hug "Be safe Моя любовь (My love)"

You pulled away and looked at them with a soft expression "Of course, you two as well, Wands please protect Vision and Nat be by Wanda's side, I will be back as soon as I can"

They nodded and you gave them a kiss as they let you go, you ran towards the people who didn't know what to do, and they ran towards their place.

------

You ran towards Natasha, she was on the floor, she wasn't injured but she was on the floor, she looked at you with some relief in her eyes "Go find Wanda"

You nodded but before you ran, you quickly gave her a peck on the lips and ran to find her, as you saw her, on the floor by Vision you knew this is bad. You dropped on your knees and stared at her as she muttered "I failed"

You cupped her face "Wands baby, you didn't fail, its okay"

You pulled her into a hug and that's when you saw, some of your team turn into dust, you pulled away and looked at Wanda, that's when she slowly started to dust away.

You could feel your heart crack at the sight of relief in the witches eyes "NATASHA!"

You screamed to get the redheads attention, which did work, she ran in and at the sight of Wanda disappearing, she dropped to her knees as tears were threatening to spill.

"Wanda.. Please don't leave us.." You begged as if she could just stop dusting, and just like she was gone and you let out a heart wrecking sob, Natasha crawled towards you and pulled you into her.

3 months before

Everything has changed since the blip, the way Natasha would constantly just throw herself into work to somehow find a way to bring back half of the population and Wanda.

You tried your best to help her but it was exhausting, each time she would push you away and that only hurt you more, at the start there was hugging till you couldn't breath because she was afraid that you would disappear as well.

But that changed when something in her switched, you have been trying to find a solution for 5 years even if that was on the floor of your shared room, alone because Natasha has pushed you away so far, you didn't even know if there was a way back to her.

She walked inside the room and barely even looked at you, she just gathered her stuff which made you question her "What are you doing Natasha?"

She didn't answer, making you jump up from where you were and block the way out which forced her to say something "Move out of my way Y/n"

You nearly melted on the spot from hearing her voice again but you had to put a brave face up "Not until you tell me what you are doing?"

She sighed as she didn't let up "I said move"

"I'm not going to repeat myself again, you can do this the easy way or I will force you to move" She spoke with so much anger in her tone.

"Where are you going Natasha?" You asked again but this one you had a soft expression which you knew worked on Natasha.

"I'm not staying here, now move out of my way" She simply answered as if that was a normal thing to do.

She had dark bags under her eyes, from what you can assume was no sleep "So you're leaving me?"

She rolled her eyes "The world doesn't revolve around you Y/n. I need to find a solution to bring back these people, that's what we promised to do, we promised to protect them and we failed so now move"

And just like she pushed you and started to walk towards the door "You also promised to be by our side Natasha but I guess that doesn't matter to you anymore"

She stopped in her tracks as she turned to face you once more "You knew that promise was never going to work with this job, it wasn't real"

Tears streaming down your face as you looked away from her "It was real to me and definitely to Wanda. Shame you don't think that"

"You don't know what she would've said, because she isn't here!" She snapped causing you to flinch a little, she never raised her voice at you.

Her grip on the things she was holding tighten as she saw you flinch "Just don't get in my way again or you'll regret it"

Your eyes snapped to her face "Fuck you for treating me like shit. Fuck you for doing this to us. Fuck you for threatening me, just get out of this room!" You couldn't keep all these emotions inside you, you spent the last 5 years supporting her and that's what you get in return.

She rolled her eyes and walked out, not even trying to argue with you or pull you into her embrace and apologise for acting like a jerk, she just left, leaving you to cry.

1 month before

A broken heart isn't easy to deal with, but you thought you managed just well yet to the remaining team thought differently. You would mainly throw yourself into training, doing everything to keep your mind of the whole argument, it did work but not for long.

Natasha avoided you as well, that was until the opportunity for the solution finally knocked on the door, you all were somewhat relief at the thought of everyone being back.

You walked in as Tony with some guy explained how its possible to bring everyone back, turns out its the ant man who was stuck in the Quantum Realm and he explained how it's possible to time travel. You was a little concerned but you was pulled out of it as Natasha stood next to you, you swallowed down the bubbling tears as your senses were invaded by Natasha so you naturally just moved away.

It did cause some stares to be thrown your way but you didn't care, you knew if you stood there, you would break down and it wasn't that easy to keep it inside you.

"Okay.. Okay, I will build the machine but only for the stones, nothing else. Until then everyone just prepare yourself" Tony agreed eventually and dismissed everyone.

------

"Okay, Y/n and Natasha will go to Vormir and take the soul stone-"

"Can I not just go into the field or something?" You interrupted him, caused Natasha to sigh in disbelief.

"Are you serious right now?" She spoke up from behind you.

You looked over your shoulder not really caring "Yeah, now can she go with Clint or something?"

Tony rolled his eyes and just agreed with you this way the two of you wouldn't fight "Okay, fine Natasha and Clint will go, and you, Y/n will come with me"

You nodded and when Tony dismissed everyone, you walked towards the kitchen to finally eat something before going to suit up and go with Tony, but you was followed.

You knew you was followed but you simply didn't care, only when you didn't except it to be Natasha behind you "Y/n can we talk?"

You froze in place as she moved a little closed to you, you faced her and it seems as if your brain had malfunctioned at the sight of Natasha.

"I'm sorry Y/n, for being such a jackass to you. For treating you like you didn't matter. I love you and I'm really sorry" She took your silence as the opportunity to talk before you could.

"Are you kidding?" Now you spoke with disbelief.

She looked at you a little taken back which caused a "what?" to come out of her mouth.

"What do you mean what? It took you 5 years to understand how you treated me? Having time travel introduced suddenly makes it okay for you to think I will open my arms and say 'Aww baby! I have been waiting for you!'"

She shook her head "Of course it isn't okay.. I just wanted you to hear me actually say sorry, you at least deserve that. I'm really sorry Y/n and I love you so much" Her voice cracked at the end with tears in her eyes.

Looking at her so broken, it hurts you more than her leaving you. Tears in your eyes, you rush to her and embrace her in a tight warm hug, as the both of you cried quietly "I love you too Tasha"

Her heart melted at the nickname she haven't heard in so long, she pulled away and placed her forehead against yours, her eyes closed as another set of tears roll down her face, she tilted her head and kissed you, tasting your tears and her own but she didn't care.

She pulled away and whispered "I'll see you in a minute" with a small sad smile.

You smiled and let her go as you nodded, she walked off and you went to Tony after eating and suiting up.

--------

Everything seemed to work out, you had the stones and that's when you saw Clint with the last stone, you ran to him to take it and the only question you could ask is "Where is Natasha?"

He was about to answer when Tony called out to you and you had to ran to him but not before your eyes scanned around you to locate the redhead, when you failed you frowned but tried not to think so much about it, so you ran towards Tony and gave him the stones, Thanos tried his best to take it back and snap again but it didn't work because you guys were one step ahead of him, the gauntlet ended up with Bruce and he snapped his fingers even if he was in so much pain.

You turned around to see multiple portals open up and half of the population appearing again, your eyes scanned for Wanda and you caught glimpse of red, you knew it was her, you ran towards her and threw yourself at her.

"Oh my god, it's you.." You said with a shaky breath, not believing your eyes.

She hugged you back with the same affection and a kiss that was so passionate it made her head spin but soon parted to continue the fight but after watching Thanos turn to dust, you were in her arms again with more happiness than you felt during the 5 years.

Clint approached the two of you and with a sad smile and tears in his eyes "I'm so sorry"

You pulled away from the hug a little as you looked at him confused but it clicked in the instant "Where is she?!"

"What are you talking about?" Wanda asked confusion in her tone.

"The way to get the stone.. One of us had to sacrifice ourselves, it was suppose to be me but she was stubborn and she jumped"

You felt as if your heart stopped, your eyes widen at his words, Wanda's grip tighten around you as you felt anger build up in you "What do you mean she jumped?!"

Before he could even say anything, you repeated yourself "What do you mean she FUCKING JUMPED?!"

You ran your hands through your hair as you let out a shaky breath and Wanda pulled you into her, doing her thing that always calm you down, no words left her as she was shocked as well, so you stood there in her embrace, letting out a sob, similar to the one 5 years ago.

Present

There you are standing in front of Wanda as her words are laced with venom, the history repeating itself but this time with Wanda "Wands I know you don't mean what you're saying.. Don't do the same thing Natasha did to me-"

She interrupted you "She at least did the right thing, gosh it was such a mistake, all of this."

Your vision started to get clouded with tears at her words "That's not my fault that she jumped, I didn't force her-"

"YOU COULD'VE STOPPED HER Y/n!" She snapped at you, she was the calmest person you could've met but yet she changed so much in a course of a month.

"Like I could've stopped you from being dusted? I lost both of you! Not at the same time but yet it feels like it, she left me and now you're doing the same, there was nothing I could've done, you know how stubborn she is-" You tried to get your point across but she was just too angry to even listen.

"You was the last to see her and I never did so imagine how that feels... Just leave Y/n" She looked away with tears in her eyes but she held herself a little bit better than you.

You chuckled dryly as you wiped your face "You know, you are right, I could've stopped her, by being in her place instead, I'm sorry that it wasn't me but her"

She turned around to face you but you already walked out, the witch leaned on the wall as she covered her mouth to muffle a sob.

6 months later

You moved out of the compound after finding out that Tony had a spare cabin in the woods, he was more than happy to give it to you after finding out what have happened, you thanked him and gotten out of that compound, away from Wanda and everything that reminded you how much you have failed to keep the two people you loved the most.

You heard from Bucky that Wanda gotten engaged to Vision, you'll never understand how that walking air fryer has any capability to have any feelings, but if it took Wanda so fast to move on, why couldn't you?

You moved into a cabin that's only surrounded by trees so no one could hear you screaming at night with anger. You asked Tony to not tell anyone where you were, not that anyone actually cared to ask but he agreed.

You do visit Natasha's grave, place some flowers from time to time, and each time light a candle to let her know that you are always there even if she wasn't most of the time.

Right now you are sitting on the sofa as night falls, there was some noises outside which pulled your attention from the tv, you grabbed your gun and slowly walked towards the door, you opened it and pointed it ahead of you.

The person on the end of the gun wasn't someone you would expect "What are you doing here?" You lowered your gun.

The witch stood there with her hands up and a small smile "I'm here to talk"

You sighed and crossed your arms, you did your crying for the past 6 months till no tears came out, so you just stood there "What is there to talk about?"

"Can I?" She asked as she pointed to the inside of the cabin, it was warm inside but the outside was freezing so you agreed and let her in.

"How did you find me?" You asked still with your arms crossed.

"I might or might not have threatened Tony... because this is important" She confessed.

"If you are here to argue again then leave, I don't need this again-" You tried to sound with no emotions but the way you dropped your arms and just sighed gave it away you were still very hurt.

"I'm not here to argue, I'm here to apologise for what I have said, it wasn't okay, and I'm so sorry. I know you couldn't have done anything and I never blamed you Y/n, no one deserved to die the way she did, I was just angry with how I never saw her and you did and jealously is very ugly"

You shook your head "Wanda this won't fix anything, I lost the two of you, I saw you disappear in front of my eyes, she left me after that to try to bring you back along with the rest of the population, and then she died so you could be here and when I needed you the most, you did the exact thing"

"I know Y/n/n I know, I'm so sorry and I will do everything to try to be better for you, I want to be here for you because honestly I need you as well. I never stopped loving you" She was nervously playing with her rings on her fingers as tears filled her eyes.

"Wanda you are with Vision, you are practically married. Please stop I can't handle anymore pain" You admitted to her because frankly you couldn't, no matter how many times you tried to get over Wanda you couldn't. You learned how to accept that Natasha will never be back but It was still hard to be with someone apart the two of them.

"I left him, I can't be with him if its you I think about before falling asleep Y/n. So please let me make it up to you, if that's what you want or look me in the eyes and tell me that this is the end" Her breathing was unsteady by the end as she let her tears flow down her face.

You looked at her and into her eyes, you could tell her breath hitched just at you looking at her, your walls crumbled apart as you let your tears out and shake your head slowly "Okay but you best believe this wont be easy"

For the first time in so long, you saw a genuine smile on her face as she walked up to you and took you into her arms as she softly stated "I know... And I'm prepared for everything. I promise to never leave you again or hurt you.. I love you"

You sighed as you cried in her arms "I love you too дорогой (Sweetheart)"

#wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wandanat x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #request #wanda x reader #natasha x reader

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radicalreliablerandomness · 3 years

Note

do you have any podcast suggestions?

Boy do I ever!! Imma just list a lot them and a short summary

Dungeons and Daddies (Not A BDSM Podcast)- dnd real play podcast about four dads from our world lost in the Forgotten Realms on a search for their sons. It’s a comedy and oh my god I lose my shit over it every time (I’m actually listening right now lol) and they barely actually play dnd it’s all just role play and there’s about 54 episodes right now

The Heart of Ether- small town gay gothic podcast. Recorded in the style of leaving voice mails to an ex girlfriend who may or may not be dead. Very gay. Everyone’s voice acting is amazing. Funny moments, sad moments, gay moments. Did I mention how wonderfully gay it is? They just finished their first season so it’s a great time to jump in and binge the episodes

The Bright Sessions- people with superpowers (not necessarily superheroes tho) go to therapy. It developed into more in later seasons but that’s the basic premise. It’s an older one but still great.

Hello From the Hallowoods- omniscient narrator? Many storylines? Lots of gay people??? It’s not super long right now, almost at the season one finale but the story line is already amazingly complex and deep

Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast- there’s only one episode so far and it is a wonderful train wreck. So far it’s just: people in space. Big time fuck up in space.

The Magnus Archives- gay horror pod. If you follow me, you probably know vaguely what it’s about. There’s one more episode left in the show and the only emotion I have is gay fear. (200 episodes in all)

Neighbourly- spooky houses on spooky street. Each episode is different and there are only 9 right now. It’s just really great. Wonderful voice acting and narration.

Welcome to Nightvale- I mean. Wtnv. Enough said.

Dark Dice- a dnd pod where they take out most of the actual play and dice so it’s just the storyline. Horror, naturally. They just about finished their first season and it’s honestly amazing.

They Made It Out Of Clay- a podcast that looks at the Jewish origins of characters in media or similar stuff. They’ve only got one episode so far but it’s well done.

The Two Princes- gay friends to enemies to lovers. Well that’s the first season at least. There are three seasons right now, relatively short. A good listen one of my comfort shows.

Alright that’s about it lol

#Podcasts #lol #funny #shitpost #podcast #podcast recs #hfth #hello from the hallowoods #wtnv #welcome to nightvale #the two princes #micro-cosmos #they made it out of clay #dark dice #tma #the Magnus archives #heart of ether #Dndads

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dongofthewolf · 3 years

Note

Hello! May I request a number 8 or number 11? She/her pronouns are preferred :) thx!!

I Despise That I Adore You

Abby Anderson X Reader

Prompt: 8. Hands brushing unexpectedly 11. Secret relationship

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Link to the prompt list here

A/N: I kind of decided last minute to write like 1.5k more words for this fic because uhhhh idk but I hope you enjoy (especially if you requested it) !!

A/N: I also didn’t realize you only requested one of the two prompts so I accidentally wrote both LOL but thanks for the request(s) !!

You have always had a very dichotomous view on life; you believed that you either liked a person, or you didn’t. It was a simple notion and a digestible one at that, but never did you think that a touch—a single accidental touch from someone you most definitely didn’t like, could wreck your world this way.

You were at a briefing for an upcoming mission. It was a long, drawn out process that you dreaded, but what made it even worse was Abby. Okay, maybe not Abby specifically, but the fact that she could sit there at six in the morning and look so effortlessly beautiful, annoyed you more than you could say. Her outfit was the same as it almost always was; a simple grey tank top with green cargo pants and boots. Nothing extraordinary or outstanding, but you still couldn’t help but find it annoyingly attractive when she crossed her fucking enormous arms over her chest like that. God, she wasn’t even trying and you were losing it.

You didn’t like Abby—you couldn’t like her. How could you possibly like her when every single sign told you not to? She was stubborn and closed off, always shielding herself from the world with some serious facade you knew was bullshit. Maybe Abby did flirt with you occasionally and perhaps you did participate in it sometimes, but that all meant nothing. And anyways, even if you did like Abby (which you obviously didn’t) it would hurt you too much when she inevitably left you for someone prettier or cooler or smarter, and you didn’t need that right now.

Abby was all types of wrong and you knew that, which is why you were so utterly puzzled by this small, electric touch. It wasn’t even longer than a second, but as soon as it happened your heart felt like it had just been squeezed like a fucking lemon.

The briefing was finally over and you were quick to leave so you could actually get some sustenance for your body, and then it happened. You hadn’t even noticed that Abby was there when you dashed out the small exit of the military tent until you felt the smallest brush of her hand against yours. You paused to look back at Abby and she was looking at you too, and you swear it would’ve taken a damn machete to cut through the tension between those few, fleeting seconds of stillness.

Your hand burned from where it had grazed Abby’s and you clenched your fingers into a fist to try and relieve yourself from the sensation. Promptly shoving your hand behind your back to hide it from Abby’s inquisitive gaze, you slowly backed away with your eyes still fixed to hers. And though there was a great amount of distance between the two of you, you noticed something in her stare. You weren’t sure if it was just your brain being stupid or manipulative, but you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of endearment in Abby’s eyes.

You tried to back away quicker but nearly fell over because of a stray root in the ground that you definitely weren’t looking at, and you could see Abby snort as she tried to hold back her laughter. Smiling nervously, you turned around and bolted towards the cafeteria. It was way too early for this.

Hoping to find some solace in a burrito, you practically ran to the cafeteria, but before you could even smell that lovely tortilla blanket, someone caught you. Abby was breathing slightly heavier than usual when she pulled you aside, practically trapping you against the wall behind you.

“Why are you running from me?”

Abby’s arm was leaning on the wall next to your head and it took every ounce of willpower not to stare at her massive biceps. “I’m not running from you.”

“Um, I think the fact that I literally just sprinted after you, says something slightly different.” Abby used her other hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. “So are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to run again?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Talk about what?”

Abby gestured her hands awkwardly between the two of you. “Us—this. Whatever this is.”

“Abby, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, but even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” You ducked under Abby’s arm and began walking away but her next words stopped you in your tracks.

“I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” Abby was pacing now, her hands moving wildly as she spoke. “It’s like… sometimes you’re cold and distant and running away from me, and I just kind of accept it. I mean, even though it’s not like I’ve ever done anything to make you hate me this much, it obviously won’t help my situation if I continue to flirt with you. But then the next day I’ll catch you looking at me in that way and-”

“In what way?” You interrupted.

“Seriously?” Abby cocked her eyebrow, her mouth curled into an annoyed smirk as she rolled her eyes. “You look at me like you’re not sure whether you want to pounce me or punch me in the face.”

She said it so plainly that you were speechless for a second, was it seriously that obvious? There was so much going through your head right now, but the one thing that stuck with you was the fact that you agreed with her. Though it’s not like you could ever admit it, so instead you opted for some good ol’ denial. “I do not.”

Abby was quick to respond, like she had anticipated your answer. “You do, and you know what? I honestly have no problem with it. In fact, I encourage it! I mean if you weren’t so confusing, I’d have asked you out by now. You’re gorgeous and smart and a major badass on the field, but I just have no idea what you want from me.”

The last sentence threw you for a loop and before you knew it, your heart was doing the squeezing thing again. Did she truly think you were all those things?

Thinking about it, perhaps your problem wasn’t that you hated Abby. After all, it’s not like the reasons you disliked her were of any merit anyways. In fact, you kind of admired Abby when she wasn’t being a cocky bastard, but that still didn’t mean you could date her. Sure, she was kind of hot, and maybe you found her just the slightest bit charming, but you couldn’t possibly put yourself on the spot like that. Not only was she all types of wrong, Abby was also your superior, and Lord knows the scandal that dating her would transpire.

Finally finding some semblance of composure, you spoke hesitantly. “Abby you’re my superior and if people found out I- we just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.” You internally cringed at your words. It was such a stupid excuse but you still couldn’t help but fear the backlash you would receive for this.

Abby took a second to think before speaking. “Can I ask you a question?”

You didn’t say anything, just nodded your head slightly.

“Do you like me?” Abby’s eyes were sort of wide and almost hopeful, and you felt a slight tinge of remorse because you weren’t sure you could give her an answer. It was a simple question, but something inside you just couldn’t manage to form a proper response.

“Whether I like you or not doesn’t matter Abby, we can’t be together. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I’m not going to be belittled or ridiculed because I can’t keep my emotions in check.”

“So what you’re saying is… there are emotions to keep in check?” There was a hint of mischief in her tone and a smile on her face. You don’t think you’ve ever groaned so loudly.

“I did not say that.”

“It was implied.”

Abby chuckled to herself, taking a step towards you with every punctuated word. “Okay, let’s say that hypothetically you do have feelings for me, and that hypothetically I could make sure no one knew we were dating. Would you go out with me then?

You scoffed as you took a step towards her, your bodies now just inches from each other. “Oh yeah? And hypothetically, how would you do that?”

“It's simple, we date in secret.” Abby said it so nonchalantly that you thought she was joking. It took a few moments of awkward silence before you realized that she was serious.

“You’re kidding? That would never work.”

“Um first of all, I’m always serious, and second of all, did you forget that we are literally trained to be stealthy? I think if we can handle clickers, we can handle a secret relationship. Honestly Y/N, it seems like the only problem here is that you’re scared of going out with me because…” Abby took another step towards you, backing you against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “you’re afraid you’ll fall for me.”

You were utterly speechless. You wanted so badly to respond with a snarky comeback or a cheap insult, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were totally afraid of going out with her. Commitment is horrifying and complicated and you’ve gone your whole life trying to avoid it. But now? Abby was offering you a simple solution and before your mind could begin to consider the downsides to this, you answered.

“Fine. But if we get caught, it’s on you.”

And just like that, your secret relationship with Abby began.

It only took the first two dates for you to warm up to Abby—though you were incredibly apprehensive about all of it at first—it wasn't long before she had successfully charmed her way to your heart. And though you’d never admit it out loud, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t having at least a little bit of fun. It was thrilling running around with Abby like this; late-night dates, stolen looks during briefings, clandestine touches while passing each other in the halls, the way she seemed to be just a little bit more protective of you during patrols. You revelled in the way she held you when no one was around, when it was just the two of you.

It had almost been two months, and hiding a secret relationship with Abby was getting surprisingly more difficult. You figured it was likely a product of the fact that after your first kiss, Abby couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of you. It seemed as though someone was somehow lurking around every corner of this damn stadium, and the amount of times Abby had to sneak out of your room in the morning before your roommate woke up was honestly getting kind of absurd.

However, one major upside that’s come out of this deal is that you no longer despised briefings. In fact—now that you and Abby had this strange arrangement—you almost looked forward to mission briefings. The fondness for them was partly because you got to stare at Abby with adoration rather than anger, but mostly it was because you got to tease her like there was no tomorrow during them.

It was another early briefing and Isaac was droning on about… patrols? Or maybe it was borders, you weren’t really sure. Instead of focusing on his dull rambles, your mind was wandering elsewhere.

Abby was sitting in the seat next to you, her legs spread out while she leaned her toned forearms on the table in front of her. Keeping your eyes focused on Isaac, you brushed your knee against Abby’s just slightly before letting your hand slowly creep closer to her leg. Abby immediately knew what you were doing, quickly turning her attention towards you with a small tilt of her head. And though your eyes were fixed on the man in front of you, you knew she had a cautious look on her face.

A small smirk crept onto your lips as you let your hands make their way higher and higher till it was resting on her thigh. Letting it linger there, you traced little circles with your fingers, noting the way Abby covered her face with her hand to hide her expression before you gave her leg the smallest squeeze. Abby jumped in her seat and the whole room immediately turned their attention to her. Trying to hide her obvious freak-out Abby cleared her throat before asking some stupid question about intercepting the target while you did your best not to laugh next to her. When she finally finished rambling and the focus was off of her, Abby snuck you the smallest look, the kind of look that said “I’m totally going to get you for that later”.

At the end of the briefing, you noticed Abby making conversation with Manny near the exit of the military tent and an idea popped into your head. You made sure to look straight ahead as you nonchalantly walked out the exit before letting your hand brush up against Abby’s while you passed by. It still shocked you sometimes; somehow after nearly two months of hiding your relationship, her touch still managed to send you soaring. The familiar burn against your fingertips from your not-so-accidental accidental touch still lingering on your hand like an imprint—her imprint.

You looked back at her with a mischievous smirk on her face and she rolled her eyes before whispering something to Manny. Walking away knowingly, you were unsurprised when she cornered you behind a cement pillar with her hands on your hips and her mouth hungrily on yours. Abby spoke with her mouth still against yours, refusing to break the kiss.

“You know, for someone who was so adamant about having a secret relationship, you sure seem to enjoy attracting attention to us.”

You smiled into the kiss, your fingers moving to play with the end of her braid before giving it the smallest tug. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Abby groaned and you chuckled at her expression when you pulled away from her lips, causing Abby to nearly face-plant into the pillar behind you. You giggled, smiling at Abby teasingly before feigning an annoyed tone as you turned away from her with your arms crossed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.”

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson imagine #the last of us imagine #abby anderson #abby tlou #tlou2 #the last of us 2 #fluff #secret relationship #yes this was an excuse to openly express my desire to be cornered by a buff lady so she can make out with me in secret #no i will not be apologizing

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sevlgi · 3 years

Text

would it be so bad

requested: yes

group: twice

pairing: tzuyu x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst

contents: hogwarts!au, quidditch player!tzuyu, rivals!au. [23/33]

warnings: none

synopsis: You’ve never exactly been the bright kind, at least not when it comes to love. Would it be so bad to realize your feelings for your partner in crime, though?

a/n: i decided to make the reader’s house ambiguous lol but i hope you enjoy! (also i realize that this isn’t british english, please excuse my idiot american english). i was originally gonna post this tomorrow in time for “cry for me”, but i realized that i should be respectful to jonghyun, and i will not be posting tomorrow ❤

word count: 5.3k

“Tzuyu Chou and Y/N Y/L/N. Why is it that whenever something happens, it is always you two?”

The Slytherin standing beside you in McGonagall’s office stood as impassive as ever, no emotion to be found in her blank expression or her perfect posture. Perhaps that was a thing that Snape taught to his favorite students-- the ability to wipe any guilt or liability off your face in an instant, to stay steadfast in any situation.

Or maybe that was just Tzuyu’s own charm, you noted as you swayed back and forth on the balls of your feet, turning slightly so that you could view her side profile in your peripheral vision. Merlin’s balls, she’s gorgeous, you sighed to yourself, unable to take your eyes off the girl who had been your rival since before birth.

Instantly, you regretted it. “Y/L/N! Have something to say to Ms. Chou?” the professor snapped, the book she threw to the desk making a sharp cracking noise as you faced her again with your fingers knotted behind your back.

“No, ma’am,” you answered, moving your hand to zip your lips shut. Despite McGonagall’s exasperated sigh, a smile quirked at the corner of her lips; she’d always been kinder than she expressed on the outside, and that seemed to be no exception when it came to you.

“You do realize that you can’t get away with decimating the Quidditch pitch, do you?” The witch sat sternly at her desk, a quill scribbling on parchment of its own accord beside her. “It’ll cost thousands of Galleons to repair, and it may not even be possible to do so before the season begins. The two of you collapsed it!”

Tzuyu spoke for the first time since being called into the Headmaster’s office, her eyes still trained on the wall next to McGonagall’s head. “If I may. I believe I did more damage.”

“That is not a thing to be proud of!” Standing, the woman clenched her fists tightly and you smiled at the affect the two of you were able to have on her. No one had seemed to infuriate her quite so much since James Potter; even the Weasley twins were overshadowed as soon as you and Tzuyu sat on the Sorting Hat’s stool. “I realize that you may think you’re carrying on your families’ legacies, or that you’re gaining fame for your antics, but you will not pass your 6th year if you keep this up. I will make sure of it personally.”

“Understood, Headmaster,” you bowed. Your voice was still noticeably singsong-y, and McGonagall bristled at the tone, but she said nothing as Tzuyu followed your lead in dipping her head. “Won’t happen again.”

Had it been any of the other teachers, you were sure that you wouldn’t have been allowed to leave without a year’s detention, but the Headmaster merely pursed her lips and waved her office door open. “Very well. I expect to see you in Transfiguration tomorrow and not caving in the North Tower.”

And as soon as the (not-so) imposing wooden doors slammed shut behind the two of you, Tzuyu raised an eyebrow. “Did you mean it when you said it wouldn’t happen again?”

“Of course not,” you grinned in response, relaxing into a comfortable slouch again. “I just meant we wouldn’t collapse the Quidditch Pitch again. It’s too boring to do the same thing twice.”

She scoffed and followed as you swayed down the hallway, her voice a bit too quiet to echo off the stone walls like yours did. “Of course. And what exactly do you have next, Y/L/N? You won’t be able to one-up my Hogsmeade stunt, I’ll have you know. My parents taught me well.”

“Your parents were nowhere close to mine,” you sniffed, stopping to wave at Fred Weasley’s portrait on the wall. He wasn’t inside, of course, probably off to bother someone, but you liked seeing the heaps of unused pranks piled underneath the frame as offerings. “Which means that you’ll never get on my level either.”

Tzuyu easily caught up to you with her long legs, the slightly-too-short Slytherin robe swishing about her ankles. But no matter how much she annoyed you, the wintery sunlight shined brilliantly on the planes of her face, pooling in the dark color of her eyes. There was that kind of beauty to her that instantly told you she was a Slytherin, a kind of untouchable coldness that didn’t match the warmth hidden inside her heart. “Tell that to the amount of detention I’ve been forced to do,” she protested. “I had hours last week, while you--”

“Never seen a Slytherin so eager to serve detention.” Fred had returned, leaning on an empty portrait’s wall with a familiar smirk on his face. “Y/L/N, Tzuyu. Any mischief to let me in on?”

“McGonagall nabbed us for wrecking the Quidditch Pitch,” Tzuyu rushed to explain before you, a hint of pride sparking in her eyes when she beat you to the punch. “It’s collapsed. And all my doing.”

“Your-” You shoved her, hands colliding with her arm slightly harder than you meant to. But you didn’t bother to apologize, declaring, “I’ll have you know that I did more. I collapsed two of the bleachers, for Merlin’s sake!”

Fred watched the exchange with amusement, egging you on when Tzuyu glared at you. “Go on, pick a fight. You’re right outside old Flitwick’s classroom, though. I’m sure he won’t be too happy for the resident couple of troublemakers to interrupt lecturing first years on Charms.”

“We aren’t a couple,” Tzuyu blurted, stepping back from where she’d been inches away from your throat with her wand. You stared at her in confusion; when had Fred mentioned the two of you to be dating? “Just-- I don’t even like her.”

There was an all-knowing smile on the portrait’s face that you didn’t like, an expression that must’ve been passed on to his nephews as well judging by how often you saw it. “I know. Didn’t even mention that, really.”

“Yeah, Tzuyu, the hell?” When she avoided your gaze, you sighed and grabbed her arm, ignoring how she attempted to pull away at first. “Well, good seeing you, Fred. I’ll let you know how the next attempt goes.”

“Good luck!” he called out as you left. “She’s a stubborn one.”

You stopped at one of the arches leading out to the courtyard, your back to the students idly roaming. Tzuyu still avoided your gaze, crossing her arms and running her thumb over the engravings on her wand. “Hey. What was that about, Chou?”

She hesitated to answer even with her lips parted, and the bell that rang loudly in your ears served as her excuse. “Well, you heard it. Time for potions, don’t want to fail out.”

She walked off, ignoring the group of 4th year boys staring at her with parchment scrolls crumpled in their hands. But your brow was knitted as you stared at her retreating silhouette, and at the way that she walked too fast to notice Dahyun and Chaeyoung raising their hands to wave at her. “Since when have you cared about that?”

Mina and Chaeyoung were disgustingly adorable at the dining table, but you were grateful enough for their company that you didn’t really care. “Maybe we should get Tzuyu’s ears checked,” Mina chuckled as she took a bite of the cake that her girlfriend fed her. “It’s not unlike Fred to say those things, but it is unlike her to take it so seriously.”

“Right? I didn’t think he was insinuating us to be a couple at all,” you frowned, digging into the treacle tart that you’d been picking at for the past hour. To be honest, you weren’t all that hungry, your mind only fixated on your friend/rival. “Do you think something else is going on?”

Chaeyoung shrugged, lips jutting out in a pout as she thought. “If it was anyone else, I’d think she was shaken up from being lectured by McGonagall. But it’s you two, so I doubt it. Double Troublemakers, aren’t you?”

“Double Troublemakers,” you snickered. “Jeongyeon really didn’t know what she was doing, coming up with that name first year.”

Jeongyeon herself, passing by on Nayeon’s arm, shouted out in protest and threw a balled-up handkerchief at your head. “Watch out, Y/N, I’m not scared of you and your pranks.”

“You should be,” you shouted back, incinerating the ball with a simple spell. “Tzuyu’s not going to protect you from me!”

“Hey, hey, speaking of Tzuyu, shouldn’t you be helping her with a potion right now?” Mina mentioned, tapping your arm. “I think you promised to help her at half past seven, and it’s already eight.”

Your eyes widened to the size of a house elf’s, and you scrambled up. “Oh, bloody hell. Thanks for the reminder, she’s going to be pissed.”

Chaeyoung commented offhandedly, “I don’t think she’ll be too pissed off at you.” But you didn’t pay too much mind, rushing out into the icy hallway and leaving your half-finished dessert behind with your friends. You cursed yourself for not bringing your scarf to dinner as you rushed to the Potions wing; for whatever reason, Snape insisted on charming that specific tower to be at the level of the Arctic Ocean. Tzuyu never seemed to mind, but it wasn’t comfortable when you only had your house robes to protect you from the chill.

The door banged into the stone wall unflatteringly, but the Slytherin girl didn’t even bother to look up from her cauldron. “Tzuyu, I’m so sorry--”

“It’s fine, Y/N,” she sighed, flashing you a quick smile as she snapped her book shut. “Just gave me some more time to memorize the potion.”

As you rounded the corner of the huge table, you peered at the array of ingredients laid out. Potions had never been your strong suit-- you’d usually been too busy pranking Jihyo than listening-- and you had no clue what you were supposed to be making whatsoever. “Uh. How am I supposed to help you if I don’t have a recipe?”

Tzuyu raised her eyebrow slightly at you, tying her hair up loosely and motioning for you to do the same as she lit a flame under the cauldron. “Just do what I tell you. It’s not difficult. Besides, I’m going to be working with Dahyun on this, I need to practice how to give directions.”

“Are you jabbing at my Potions skills, Chou?” you rolled your eyes, taking off your cloak. Despite the chill of the potions wing, the other girl had evidently cast a spell that made it boiling hot in the classroom, leaving you in a normal sweater embroidered with the crest of your house.

She didn’t answer, handing you a plant to cut open inside. “By the way. You aren’t wearing any perfume, are you?” Tzuyu asked suddenly, avoiding your gaze as she ground pearl dust even finer in a stone mortar. “It distracts me, don’t look at me like that.”

“You being close enough to smell my perfume is out of the ordinary,” you snorted in response, sprinkling the peppermint into the boiling water. “But no. I’m not wearing any.”

The thing about working with Tzuyu was that everything usually ended up in silence. Not uncomfortable silence, but the kind that made you focus on the way that the candles cast a warm light onto the wooden tables, and the kind that made you notice the smell of the opened potion books. As the girl stirred in more and more ingredients, though, and as colored steam rose from the cauldron, the musty scent of parchment and tinny metal was replaced with--

A clatter sounded as Tzuyu shoved the cauldron over, the potion fizzing when it met the table. You could only stare as your hard work spilled out of the pewter cauldron rolling on the table, but the other girl spoke before you. “O-oh. I’m sorry, I think you should go. I can clean this up myself.”

“I... are you sure? I can help,” you offered, reaching for your robes nonetheless.

“I’m fine. Go.” Her voice was strange, like she wanted to say something to you but was holding it in, but you didn’t comment on it. Despite everything the two of you had been through together, you realized that you didn’t really have a right to ask more out of the girl; you didn’t know her outside of bickering, after all.

When you closed the classroom door softly behind you, though, you realized that you could still smell the potion’s aftermath in a cloud around you. Kerosene, like the kind you used to blow up the stadium a week ago, bitter chocolate, and the faintest hint of the house elves’ kitchen when you snuck in to steal Tzuyu’s favorite bread.

It was the kind of familiar that made you miss it while it was still here, like a ghost that you couldn’t grasp and hold close to your heart in the way that you desperately wished you could. And it made you stare at the closed door of the classroom, listen closer to the sound of Tzuyu mopping up the spilled potion by hand even though she didn’t have to.

It was weird, that’s what it was.

Momo and Nayeon clutched onto each other as you shined the light of your wand into the dark. Tzuyu was just behind you with her own wand held overhead; you were pretty sure that you could see Sana clutching onto the Slytherin’s arm and cowering behind the tallest girl of the group. “Are... are you sure that this is a good idea?” Jihyo asked, her voice uncharacteristically small.

“Ah, come on. It’s one of the Marauders’ abandoned tunnels, who knows what we could find?” you persuaded, turning back to grin at them. When no one reciprocated, you switched to a pout instead. “Rude.”

“We’ll split like this.” Tzuyu waved her wand between the eight remaining girls, parting them like the red sea into two groups. “Nayeon and Momo, you split, you’re too scared to be in one group together. Y/N and I will go together.”

Dahyun wiggled her eyebrows at that. “Ooh. Together, huh? Just the two of you?”

Even in the darkness of the tunnel, you could see Tzuyu’s cheeks flush brightly. She stabbed her wand in front of her in an attempt to shine the light away from her face, muttering out, “Let’s go.”

You waved goodbye at your friends, being tugged forward by the Slytherin girl and nearly tripping over the tree roots winding through the tunnel. “H-hey, why’re you walking so fast? Trying to kill me, Chou?”

“If I killed you, there wouldn’t be any fun in prank wars.” She glanced back at you, eyes straying to the map that you had clutched in your hand. “Where’d you get that, by the way?”

“Fred,” you answered, waving the scroll around. It was stained, of course, with the pumpkin juice that Sana had spilled on you that morning, and with the ink that you had smeared when copying down the Weasley’s overly complicated instructions. “He said that something in here’s going to help us with whatever we plan to do next.”

Tzuyu frowned at you slightly, still pushing aside cobwebs and vines to forge further down the tunnel. “Did you tell him about the rig we’re going to set up for McGonagall?”

You shrugged and peered down at a cockroach skittering over the dirty ground. “Of course not. Fred may be a legend, but legends don’t get treated any differently when it comes to knowledge about Double Trouble’s plans.”

“I hate that name.” Tzuyu stepped through another archway into a tiny cave, a rough stone throne with a button on the armchair the only thing inside. She flicked her eyes over, nodding her head at the chair. “This it?”

You lunged forward, pressing down on the button before you could have any regrets. “Only one way to know.”

And-- nothing happened whatsoever. Your partner in crime stood there with crossed arms, the backs of her calves almost hitting the stone of the throne. “What’s supposed to happ--”

A strong gust of wind, stronger than anything you’d ever felt before, punched all the breath out of you and sent you flying, the force of your body knocking Tzuyu onto the chair. To prevent injury, your hands flew out in front of you and pressed into the crumbly dirt wall on either side of Tzuyu’s head, your knees probably bruising with how hard they hit the stone.

When you opened your eyes, previously squeezed shut, you found yourself sitting on the lap of the Slytherin girl, her hands hovering on either side of your waist and your foreheads almost pressed together. She looked somewhat shocked, eyes wide and her breath shivering on your lips.

Before you could apologize and scramble off, though, you were interrupted by someone coughing at the entrance. “Dahyun’s right, apparently.”

You leaped off of Tzuyu’s lap faster than you could’ve thought possible, heat burning at your ears when you found Jeongyeon and Nayeon smirking at the entrance at the cave. “S-so. Uh. You found anything?” you questioned, attempting not to look directly at either of them.

“Nah,” Jeongyeon answered after a pause, apparently feeling merciful. “I think Fred was messing with you.”

“Damn,” you breathed out, adjusting the collar of your sweater to be perfectly straight. All of a sudden, it was too warm underground, and the heavy robe you wore was pulling you down into the ground. Maybe that last part was wishful thinking. “Let’s go, then. I’ll go get Momo’s group,” you volunteered, brushing past your friends into the tunnels again.

Tzuyu didn’t follow, thankfully, because you didn’t need anything else confusing your senses with the smell of kerosene, chocolate, and sourdough bread wafting past your nose already.

“GO MOMO!”

You cheered louder than anyone else in the bleachers, maybe except for Jihyo, who was practically hanging off the railing as she waved a banner for your Hufflepuff friends.

Chaeyoung laughed, her nose bright red in the winter chill. Sana and Momo waved at you and all her friends as they strolled out with the rest of her team, hands gloved and what seemed to be 3 scarves wrapped around both of their necks. But you were holding in the loudest cheer of all for when the Slytherin team descended to the pitch, and you raised your voice even more when Tzuyu appeared with her broom in her hand.

Unlike Jihyo, she looked nervous, face drawn tight as she stopped with the rest of her team on the grass. She only wore her usual green robes, wisps of caramel brown hair fluttering about her face, but she was more stunning than anyone else in the entirety of Hogwarts. “CHOU TZUYU, YOU KICK THEIR ASSES!”

She looked up in surprise at your shout, a small smile coming onto her face when she spotted you clustered among your friends, all dressed in contrasting house colors but cheering for the same people. You only waved harder when she stared at you, almost hitting Jihyo in the face when you swung both arms in opposite directions.

And when the game started, it was just as chaotic as it ever was to be sitting on the bleachers. Jihyo, who played for Gryffindor, and Chaeyoung for the Ravenclaw team, were thankfully undivided this time, merely screaming their friends’ names instead of houses. Usually, you were next to someone much quieter in their support, a certain Slytherin who was dominating the field instead.

“And Tzuyu scores! Brilliant Chaser, this one, and gorgeous, too, if Y/L/N would just take the hint!” Felix shouted out at the announcer’s podium, his usually growling voice higher pitched to be heard over the crowd’s shouts.

No one seemed to hear him, not even your friends as they thrusted the Slytherin banner up in the air and whooped. You and Tzuyu both stopped in your tracks, staring blankly at the tiny blonde dot that was Lee Felix. For the Chaser, though, it turned out to be much more dangerous, as a Bludger hit by a Hufflepuff Beater slammed into her right below her right arm.

Everything went silent, a dolphin-like tone ringing in your ears as you watched Tzuyu plummet down to the ground. With the way her hair streamed in the wind, you’d think she was floating, but you were cruelly brought back to reality when she hit the ground like a bag of loose bones, a sharp whistle from Madam Hooch making time move normally again.

“Tzuyu,” you gasped, stumbling back into Dahyun, who didn’t complain. “Tz--”

“Three fractured ribs, along with a completely shattered wrist. Can someone tell me what she was looking at?”

Your nails tightened on the skin of your palms as you stared at the wrinkled bedsheet underneath Tzuyu’s good hand, your foot tapping relentlessly against the tile of the hospital wing. Perhaps Jihyo and Mina, talking quietly with Madam Pomfrey, didn’t think you could hear them talk, but every word of theirs echoed unfortunately loudly in the otherwise empty wing. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Tzuyu, or at the violent purple bruises all along her right side, or at her frail and newly healed wrist cradled to her chest as she slept.

“I’m sorry, Madam Pomfrey. Sana... Sana and I asked Felix to say it as a joke, we didn’t think that Tzuyu would be so surprised,” Jihyo sighed. “And we didn’t think that Steelman would take advantage and hit her so hard.”

Pomfrey was quiet for a second, and the jagged tip of your nails nearly ripped your skin as you waited for one of them to speak. “I see. Well, I do believe you had good intentions, all of you. I will be speaking with Ms. Steelman about her actions, but Quidditch is tough sometimes. Please, refrain from asking Mr. Lee to play such jokes from now on.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Mina joined you first, her hand a comforting weight on your shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, Y/N.”

“Who said I was blaming myself?” you laughed listlessly, shaking your head. “Who am I kidding? I am blaming myself. Because it’s my fault. It isn’t Felix’s for playing an innocent joke, and it isn’t Jihyo and Sana’s--”

Jihyo shook her head as she knelt near you, her head obstructing the view of Tzuyu’s sleep-peaceful expression. “Y/N, please. You couldn’t have gotten there on time. It’s none of our faults, okay? Besides, we shouldn’t... we shouldn’t have rushed you on this.”

“What?” you blinked up at your friends. “Rushed me?”

They exchanged looks, Mina closing her mouth when the Gryffindor girl shook her head in warning. “I think it’s best for you to find it out on your own time. Because you will,” Jihyo smiled. “I have faith in you, Y/N. Now, don’t stay here too late, Pomfrey will take care of Tzuyu just fine.”

“Seriously,” Mina warned as she retreated, the sympathy in her eyes the last thing that you wanted to see. “Sleep early!”

You raised a hand in farewell, sighing and leaning back in your chair once they were gone. Your friends meant well, of course, and you genuinely didn’t blame anyone for the incident, but you couldn’t help but think about what you could’ve done to save Tzuyu. There must’ve been some spell, some prank mechanism that would’ve done something...

And just like that, hours passed. The sky had begun to turn back to cloudy blue-grey from the black of the night by the time you found your head drooping onto your arms; you had draped one of the blankets that Pomfrey left behind over your own shoulders, your hair loose and splaying out at the foot of the bed when your friend woke up. “Y/N?”

Blinking blearily, you found Tzuyu staring blankly at you. “Why’re you still here? It’s almost dawn.”

There should have only been one answer at the tip of your tongue-- “I was worried” or “I couldn’t leave you alone” or something normal-- but instead, you found answers to questions that you didn’t remember asking just begging to be let out.

Because the potion that you had made all those weeks ago was Amortentia, and it smelled like the kerosene that you used in so many prank wars with Tzuyu, and the bitter chocolate she tried to convince you to like. It smelled like the bread that you stole from the house elves to cheer her up, and it smelled like the vanilla hand lotion that you bought for her on Valentine’s day in 3rd year.

And she asked you whether you were wearing perfume because she wanted to know if Amortentia smelled like you for her, and Tzuyu must’ve knocked the cauldron over because it did. Because--

“You love me.”

You didn’t expect the jolt that shook the entire hospital bed, the Slytherin girl jerking back like you had burned her with your words. “I... what?” Her eyes darted back and forth as she bit down on her lip, almost scrambling back as your eyes began to shine with a revelation that turned your entire world upside down. “Y/N, what’re you talking about?”

Her fists were ice cold in your hands, her expression unrelenting as you attempted to persuade her to admit the truth that should’ve made sense all along. “Your Amortentia smelled like me, didn’t it? Because mine smelled like kerosene, and... and bread, and everything you like. And you reacted so intensely when Fred called us a couple because you like me,” you breathed with the biggest grin of your life on your face. “No, because you love me.”

Tzuyu shook her head and snatched her hands out of your grasp, clutching the bedsheets closer to her chest as if that would protect her from you or something. “You aren’t making sense right now, Y/N. I.. I want you to leave. Before you confuse me further.”

You stared at her for a good twenty seconds, at the girl who was avoiding your eyes like you had told her you’d murdered her mother. “Wh-what?”

“I want you to leave.” The Chaser’s voice sounded steady, but it wasn’t confident in the way that you knew it to be. There was something lying underneath that made her voice that of a stranger to you, and you obeyed it as you stood.

“Okay.”

Not another word slipped from your lips as you made your way out of the Hospital Wing, standing on the balcony of a silent castle with blankets still wrapped around your shoulders.

That definitely wasn’t how you expected anything to go.

For nearly a week, you spent your free blocks alone, poring mindlessly over all your books by the Great Lake. Nothing you read actually stuck in your mind, though, the words floating before your eyes in hurricanes of black ink. No matter how much Chaeyoung or Momo attempted to convince you, you wouldn’t go back to the hospital wing; instead, you asked Mina for updates, probably the only one of your friends who you knew wouldn’t pressure you to talk to Tzuyu.

Groaning, you collapsed down onto the grass, flicking your quill away from you. It wasn’t fun devising pranks and coming up with plans to rig the Headmaster’s office without her, and there was no real lure in winning when there was no one to win against. Instead of thinking about the water that you wanted to splatter down on McGonagall, you could only think about how to apologize to your friend, how to take back a truth that you weren’t sure you could forget yourself.

But with the way that she responded, could it mean that you were right? Was it possible that Tzuyu really loved you, and you... you really loved her back?

“Y/N?”

Your head jerked to look at the source of your voice, a crack sounding when you turned too fast. “Ow,” you mumbled, raising your hand up to cup the back of your neck. However, you were completely fixated on the slightly paler-looking girl, standing just a few feet away from you. “Uh. Hey?”

“Hey,” she smiled. So she’s not angry. Tzuyu wasn’t wearing her characteristic expensive robes for once, dressed instead in a pretty skirt that was too cold for the lakeside and a black coat slung over her shoulders. “You didn’t come to visit me.”

Shrugging, you reached over and cleared your books away for her to sit. “I figured you wouldn’t want me to.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she frowned, plopping down beside you and crossing her legs. “You’re my friend.”

“Friend, huh?” You chuckled listlessly, leaning back with your arms supporting you. The surface of the Great Lake rippled softly, and you wondered whether there really was a squid inside that could drag you away from the awkwardness sitting between the two of you. “That’s it?”

Tzuyu laid her hand over yours, her skin cold from the spring weather. She almost looked like she pitied you even though she was the one fresh out of the hospital wing, and you hated that expression on her. “What do you mean? Should there be something else?”

If you were slightly less impulsive, you wouldn’t be scrambling to your feet, crossing you arms to stare in disbelief at the beautiful girl sitting cross-legged mere feet away from the Whomping Willow. “Are you serious? Tzuyu, are you just going to ignore everything we-- everything I said that night?”

She stood as well, her hands still reaching out for yours and her eyebrows furrowed. “Y/N, I wasn’t going to ignore it, I just don’t know how to talk about it. That.”

You scoffed, jerking away from her grasp. Some part of you thanked Merlin that you were alone, because you didn’t know if you wanted your friends witnessing anything that you knew was about to go down. “That. Answer me something, Chou. Would it be so bad to be with me? To admit that... that you love me. And I love you back?”

Tzuyu froze, her hands faltering in midair. “You love me back?”

“Of course I do!” And suddenly, you were rushing forward to meet her again, eyes pleading for her to understand how genuine you were being. “I meant it when I said so, and Amortentia doesn’t lie. Tell me, what did your potion smell like?”

She stammered out, “B- burning books. From the time we set the library on fire, and the stupid perfume you wear. Ink, because you refuse to use the pens that Jeongyeon bought you, and--”

You still paused a second before connecting your lips, giving Tzuyu time to back out, but she might’ve moved even faster than you so that her hands were wrapped around your waist. She tasted like chocolate and bread, too, and you smiled into the kiss when you realized that she probably stole from the kitchen before coming to find you.

The long, winding roots of some tree tripped you over, your back colliding with the grassy ground with a loud thump, but you didn’t care as the Slytherin girl landed right on top of you. “To-- to answer your question. It wouldn’t be bad at all, to be with you,” Tzuyu laughed breathily, her smile so much brighter than you ever remembered it to be. “I love you, Y/N.”

And instead of responding, you pulled her in again, lips moving against hers for maybe a minute before you were surprised by a bug that Tzuyu held up against your face. “Chou Tzuyu, you devil!”

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hihellogoodbyebruh · 4 years

Text

No Letting Go

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader, Coco Cruz x Black!Reader (platonic)

Summary: Coco has been your best friend and rock since childhood. You’re having a problem learning to share him with the club, specifically a certain club member who happens to be your ex who you may or may not still be in love with.

Warning(s): 18+ only, smut (the sex!), foul language

Word count: 3,493

Author’s Note: This is for my fellow girls who’s love language is talking shit LOL. Also I’ve made this fic pre-season 1. EZ is in jail. This was two parts before I just decided to make it one fic. So it might be a little disjointed BUT just go with it okay? I’ve missed y’all and I hope you like this. Hopefully I’m not too rusty. Questions, comments, and concerns are always welcome. My inbox is open. Enjoy!

Your childhood wasn’t the most stable, drive by shootings and cracked out parents didn’t exactly leave room for normalcy, but there was always one constant for you and that was Coco. His mother was also an absolute train wreck. You guys kind of grew up taking care of each other. You remember Leticia being born while he was in jail and trying to talk some sense into Celia about giving the baby a better life. You remember when he got out of jail and joined the Marines. Just as you got him back, he was gone again. It was extremely hard not having him around, but it forced you to really take care of yourself. No more Coco to lean on. You only had yourself.

So after high school, you went to cosmetology school and got yourself a beauty license. You’d taken care of your hair for years and it’s important to you to teach others how to take care of theirs. Natural hair, wigs, weaves, braids, or whatever. You helped your clients with it all and showed them how to keep up with their hair. You got a job at a local shop and you were taking care of yourself. Things were good but you missed your best friend.

Then he was back. Coco was discharged from the military and you thought you’d have him all to yourself, but then he was telling you about joining the Mayans and you barely heard from him for months. Well, you weren’t just about to accept that shit.

You banged on the front door, “Coco open the fuck up! You know who it is! Open this damn door, Johnny!” You yelled, as you pounded your fist against the door.

The door whipped open and Coco stood there with an irritated look on his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Don’t bang on my door like that. You know better.” The look on his face as well as the growl in his voice would have terrified anyone.

You just stared at him before breaking out into a smile. “I missed you.”

Some of the irritation left his face and he actually sighed at you. It was the closest to a pout he’d ever get. “Yeah, yeah. Get your ass inside.”

“I hear you grumbling, but this is what happens when you keep ignoring me. Imma stay on yo head boy!” You told him, walking into his living room before sucking your teeth when you saw who was there.

Angel. Reyes.

It was bad enough that Coco joined that damn club and was busy being their prospect. It’s been even worse since he’s basically become best friends with Angel, who happened to be your ex boyfriend. Well, maybe ex fuck buddy was better. He started to push for more and as someone who hated being cornered (and someone with serious reservations about his lifestyle) you broke things off with him. It was infuriating. You finally got Coco back, but he was taken away from you again and with the one person who you wanted to avoid. Feelings were still there, but you hid them by egging him on. Were you acting like a kindergartener pulling someone’s hair they had a crush on? Maybe. Using sass to hide your emotions? You’re a pro at that. Coco had no idea about y’alls past.

“Don’t you have your own place to live? Why the fuck you always over here?” You questioned, setting your purse down in one of the empty chairs.

“Hey! Don’t start Y/N.” Coco interjected, already knowing where this was going. It was equal parts exhausting and entertaining watching those two go back and forth.

“I do. I just like being over here. It’s more opportunities to run into you.” Angel replied from where he was sprawled out on the couch. He had a cap sitting backwards on his head, a gray sleeveless shirt on, jeans, and his legs spread wide.

“You giving off real scrub vibes right now.” You rolled your eyes at him before directing your attention back to Coco. “So where you been? See when you don’t return my calls you make me have to pop up on your ass. So wassup?”

“Nothing is up. You gotta chill. You know I’m prospecting with the club now. I got a job at the scrap yard and everything. I’m just busy living.”

“Mmmhmm...so you’re too busy for me now?” You asked, letting the spoiled brat come out of you a little before deciding it was safer to just change the subject. “ANYWAY, Leticia texted me.”

That caught Coco’s attention. “Why? What’s wrong? Is she okay? What the fuck did my mom do now?” He asked, worry clear in his tone.

You waved your hand to dismiss his concerns. “She’s fine. She has a school dance coming up and she wants me to do her hair. I think perhaps you should drop by and check on her, maybe have a small discussion about the birds and bees…” You implored, and he immediately began shaking his head.

“Nah. You should do it.”

“I’m not family.”

“Yes, you are. Plus you’re a woman. Y’all can talk about shit I don’t get.”

“It would still be good for her to have a male’s perspective. One to tell her how a respectable gentleman acts and better yet, shows her.” She has always pushed for Coco to spend more time with Letty. She knew it was hard from him, but she knew the girl truly loved her older brother.

“Who the fuck is Leticia?” Angel asked, clearly confused.

“His sister.” “My sister.” You and Coco answer at the same time. You both maintained eye contact as you basically glared him into submission. Your eyes conveyed the words you’d never let slip from your lips. ‘Spend some time with your fucking kid, Co’ was the thought written clearly on your face.

“Fine, I will stop by and check in.” He conceded and you smiled widely again. You loved it when you won.

“Y’all are so cute.” Angel teased, a small smirk on his face because he knew it would get under your skin.

The small smile on your face was quickly wiped away at his words. “Shut up. That’s my brother. Period.”

“I still have a chance then.” His smirk turned into a grin. He loved getting a rise out of you.

“Psh.” You scoffed, the retort leaving your lips quick and snappy. “A chance in hell.”

“Then I’ll meet you there, sweetheart.” He always loved that fire in you. He missed not having it around as much. He felt bad about keeping the relationship from Coco, but he figured he’d bide his time for now. He still wanted you. He could remember the nights spent laid up in your bed as he watched you braid your hair or helped you lotion your body. His favorite thing to do was lather you up because it always led to him knocking your walls down.

You stood up from your chair and walked to where he was seated so you could stand over him. Your hands were on your hip and you just stared at him for a moment. He was so blasé about everything. You wanted to make him stumble just once. “Eat shit, Angel.”

“Only if it’s yours.”

You wanted to laugh so bad. He had such a quick wit and y’alls banter was something you have yet to experience with anyone else. Still, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction so you turned away from him to keep your smile in check. “You goofy as hell. I don’t have time for this shit. I have appointments. Just needed to make Coco promise me to my face.”

“All that whining about me not returning calls or having time for you and you can’t even stay and hang? You’re so fucking fake.” Coco chuckled and you laughed as well.

“Don’t hate. I do what I gotta do. Walk me out bestie.” You grinned, walking toward the exit and grabbing your purse on your way out.

“Bye mamí.” Angel yelled at you and you merely lifted your hand to give him the finger. His answering laughter warms you up and you can’t help throwing him a look over your shoulder.

Coco walked you out the front door and closed it behind him.

“If you think that ‘tough bitch’ act is putting him off you’re so wrong.”

You stare at Coco with your eyebrows raised giving him that ‘you should know better’ look before going, “Who is acting?”

“Alright, Y/N.” He just shook his head and decided to let y’all figure it out. No way was he gonna jump in the middle of that. He knew it would resolve itself eventually.

xxxxxxx

The next time you got to see Coco things were an absolute mess. You don’t know exactly what happened but the gang got into a shootout. Coco was injured and your heart was beating against your chest so hard as you raced toward the scrap yard. This was out of your comfortable zone completely, but you needed to see that he was okay.

Even though on the inside you were freaking out, you tried your best to keep a calm outer appearance as you came face to face with the gang. You went through the basic introductions and then you found yourself crouching in front of a passed out Coco.

“He always said he didn’t really have family so we didn’t know who to contact until Angel told us about you.” The president explained, as you studied the bandages on Coco’s chest.

You tore your attention from Coco to look at Angel and saw him already looking at you. It was like he was studying you. You gave him a small smile, trying to convey your gratefulness that he contacted you. He just nodded back at you.

“Thank you all for everything you do and did for him.” You looked back at the president, Bishop, and all the other guys.

“He’s our brother.”

“He’s my brother too.” Your gaze went back to Coco, a soft look on your face that made Angel want to just wrap you up in his arms.

Luckily the bullets just grazed Co and nothing vital was hit. You could only sit still for so long before your anxiety got the better of you and you stood up, striding out of the door. You inhaled deeply once you felt the fresh air.

You would have been so heartbroken if Coco had died. Just the thought made your hands start shaking. You curled them into tight fists and closed your eyes as you focused on slowing your breathing. Your eyes only shot open when you felt someone touch your elbow.

“Hey, you okay?” Angel asked, his eyes soft as he gazed at you so you diverted your eyes.

“I’m fine.” You replied, the sigh you let out in the end betraying your words.

“You want a drink?” He offered and you perked up a little.

“So badly.” You admitted.

“Come on.”

He led you to the little trailer that was parked on one side of the scrap yard. You wanted to say something smart, but you’d been to his home and knew he didn’t stay here. Plus your heart just wasn’t in it at the moment. He grabbed two beers out of the fridge and opened them before handing you one. You immediately took a big gulp of it.

Angel went to lean back against the fridge and you saw him wince. It dawned on you that he was also in the shootout with Coco. You were so focused on your brother because they said only he was shot, but Angel looked hurt too.

“What happened to you? Don’t tell me you got shot too.” You set the beer down and invaded his personal space. You lifted up his shirt and noticed some bruising there and your head lifted back up quickly to look at him.

“I didn’t get shot. Just got the shit kicked out of me.” Angel explained, staring at you as you fussed over him.

You let out a loud sigh. “Well you need to be icing it and resting. I can’t have both of y’all fucked up at once.” You murmured, eyes dropping back to his bruises for a moment.

“Are you admitting to actually giving a shit about me now?” Angel inquired and you immediately dropped your grip on his shirt and took a step away from him.

“Don’t start this right now.” You pleaded. It was easy when you two were bantering back and forth, but his face was so serious. You knew the conversation was going to get heavy.

“Don’t start what? So you still want to pretend we don’t know each other? That we didn’t spend nights wrapped around each other for months?” He stepped closer and closer to you as he spoke. “That you didn’t become mi corazón before you took it all away? I’m tired of pretending.”

As he stood directly in front of you, you felt your heart racing. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You knew if you looked him in the eyes you would fold. He knew as well so his hands caressed your cheeks before bringing your face back up so you would look at him.

“I know you love me and I love you. We should be together right now.” He was beyond frustrated. This game has gone on for too long. He wanted you back.

“Why? For what huh? So in five to ten years you can get yourself killed and leave me a widow? So I can have another person I love ripped away from me? So all I’m left with is bittersweet memories? Nah. Coco is laying on a couch with bullet wounds at this very moment. Fuck that.”

“I never would have taken you for a coward.”

“I’m a coward for wanting to live my life with as little pain as possible? Fuck you, Angel.” Your eyes blazed at his words.

“No you're a coward because you’re scared to face the fact that you love me and want to be with me. I can’t promise nothing bad will ever happen, shit something could happen to you and it would absolutely break me. But I’m willing to take that risk. I promise to make you more than just comfortable. You deserve to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, and fucking happy. I wanna spend the rest of my life making you happy. Don’t you want that?”

Tears filled your eyes and you closed them as some spilled over.

You weren’t ready to have that conversation with him. Not right now. You wanted to feel good. Your eyes met Angel’s briefly before you were surging up and connecting your lips to his.

His arms slid down your back to attach themselves to your ass, pulling your body against him. You felt every part of him. He wasn’t too muscular, but he was solid. It felt good to be back in his arms. The kiss got more passionate as your tongues tangled with each other. He was a fantastic kisser.

He turned you around and propped you up on the one table in the trailer. Your hands worked his kutte off and you let your fingers run under his shirt and feel his chest again. His kisses ran down your neck and you moaned as he sucked on that spot on your neck. You began unbuckling his belt ready to feel him inside you.

“Eager huh?” He teased, his lips at your ear. You pulled back to look him in the face and stopped what you were doing.

“Oh I’m sorry. Would you like to sit down and talk about our feelings more or would you prefer to feel this pussy wrapped tightly around you?” You asked cockily, one eyebrow raised.

Angel looked at you and smirked. “Continue.” Shit, who was he to turn you down? He never really could. You got his jeans undone and your hand was in his underwear and stroking his dick while kissing his shoulder before he could say anything.

“Ah, shit.” He moaned, as you stroked his dick and felt it harden under your hand. You squeezed it a little just to see if his breath still caught in his throat and you smirked against his neck when you heard the sound.

“Don’t get cocky.” He whispered, rubbing your pussy through your jean shorts. Your hips jumped a little at the contact and you felt your panties getting more wet than they were before. He kept rubbing; the friction of your jeans and panties rubbing perfectly between your pussy lips had you squeezing your thighs closed.

You leaned your head back to look at him. “You’re gonna ruin my jeans, stop it.”

It was his turn to smirk as he took a small step back, your hand falling off him. “Then let’s take them off.” He peeled your shorts and panties down, spreading your legs so far apart that your right foot slid out of your pants. Your shorts and panties dangled around your left ankle.

“Oh baby, that pussy is still as pretty as ever.” He popped two of his fingers in your mouth, slipping them a little down your throat so he could hear the always beautiful sound of you choking before he stuck those fingers inside of you.

“Fuck..” You groaned, your hand squeezing his arm.

“And you still feel like Heaven. I gotta feel you around my dick again. That’s what you want right? You want me to fuck that attitude right out of you.” He asked, though it wasn’t really a question. He was just talking. “I know what you need, mami. Always have and always will.” He let his pants fall and in a quick and smooth move he removed his fingers and replaced them with his dick inside of you.

He had both hands squeezing your thighs as he kept your legs apart. He had you open wide for him. Your nails were digging into his arm and your other hand was bracing yourself on the table. There was so much in those thrusts. It was all his feelings in one. He was conveying how mad he was, how much he missed you, and how much he loved you.

“Angel,” you moaned, head thrown back as you got lost in the feel of him. You couldn’t focus on anything, but him. He still knew exactly how to fuck you and drive you over the edge. Your stomach was in knots as you felt your orgasm building. He could feel it too and he slowed his strokes down to more shallow ones.

“Look at me.” He demanded, and you tilted your head down until you made eye contact with him. “Look at me fucking you. Look at me giving you what you need. I’ll always give you everything. All you have to do is ask. Tell me, mi dulce. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

“I-I wanna cum Angel please.” You begged, barely able to get the words out. You knew that he knew he had you right where he wanted you.

He kissed your lips and sped back up his thrusts as the pressure built back up in your stomach. He kept kissing you, his tongue tasting every inch of your mouth as he fucked you. With a shaky hand, you reached down and rubbed your clit to push yourself over the edge.

You moaned into his mouth as he fucked you through your orgasm. As you clenched around him, the tightening of your walls around him helped to trigger his own release.

Angel tucked his head in your neck and placed kisses there and along your shoulder as you both came down from the high. “Will you let me take you to dinner, mi dulce? Por favor.” He pulled his face from your neck so he could look in your eyes.

You didn’t shy away from his eyes this time. You held his face in your hands as you gazed at each other. His words echoed over and over in your head.

“You deserve to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, and fucking happy. I wanna spend the rest of my life making you happy. Don’t you want that?”

Mind blowing sex and one beautiful love declaration does not fix everything. You still had your reservations about the relationship. You were still scared. You were still worried. You were still unsure. But when you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but his love for you and his certainty. He was so sure it was you for him. You could picture a wedding and children in your future. Maybe even growing old together. Suddenly, you knew you wanted to try.

Don’t you want that?

With all that in mind, the answer was simple:

“Yes.”

#angel reyes #angel reyes x black!reader #hhgbyebruh fics #no letting go #black!reader

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sangonomiyashrine · 2 years

Note

Hello! I would like to try and ask for a kin assignment for any Danganronpa game you want, yttd, and ddlc if that’s alright with you! Admittedly I don’t know what I’m doing but I’ll try to keep this as short as I can!

I believe my MBTI is INFP but I have a really bad memory so honestly I could be wrong

I tried researching my enneagram before but honestly none of the free ones made any sense to me and I didn’t wanna spend like $10 so I don’t know, sorry. I also have no idea what socionics, attitudinal psyche, or global 5 are since I’ve never heard those terms before.

People seem to think I’m an extrovert due to how I act with friends but I personally think I’m an introvert since interacting is tiring.

I’ve been told I’m funny, nice, helpful, and smart I guess? Also intimidating :(

I like games (especially strategy), listening to music, and collecting rocks/shiny objects or things I think are funny.

Idk if you mean emotional state as in right now or like overall but overall I’m a train wreck but right now I’m just disappointed I bought the wrong kind of cream cheese I guess.

I am not good at socializing with people I don’t already know so I just… don’t. Problem solved >:)

I don’t really have any kins for myself personally but my friend thinks I should kin Chiaki, Sonia, and Maki if that counts lol.

I guess in general my sense of humor is pretty much my only defining characteristic but it’s sort of like dark anti-humor if that makes sense. Like those jokes that don’t build up to anything I think those are hilarious but just like “haha crime am I right gamers” yeah that’s my entire personality.

Anyway that’s all I got, just want to say I appreciate you for being one of the only blogs that I’ve come across for this that’s not like “alright all I need to know is your name, hobbies, social security number, make and model of your first car, 3 numbers on the back of your credit card, and your favorite color :)” lol anyway have a nice day! Byeeee!

you remind me of..

Chiaki Nanami - I agree with your friend, anon. you're pretty similar to chiaki here. your vibe in particular is reminiscent of her, you seem very chill and easygoing but maybe a bit bland on the surface. she's pretty intelligent and can be a bit intimidating due to not being the most social, but she's really kind and helpful. I view her as the type to go from having a lot of fun with her friends to just holing herself up in her room for a few weeks. she probably has a bad memory and I can see her taking interest in your hobbies.

Ranmaru Kageyama - like you seem to be, he's a pretty chill and easygoing guy. he's logical and tries to be helpful/useful to the group. he's pretty bad at socializing with strangers, as we can see in his introduction. he's not failing miserably but we can tell he's nervous. when he gets closer to sara, he becomes even more kind and a bit more extroverted, but he's still an introvert through and through.

Natsuki - as we can tell mostly from ddlc+, she seems extroverted around her friends, but does need to get away to relax every once in a while. she's implied to be really funny around her friends, and I can see her sharing your type of humor and interests. she can be intimidating to strangers due to her cranky attitude, but she's really kind and truly cares about the other members. I can see her being interested in your hobby of collecting shiny or funny objects. she has her emotional issues due to her family problems, but she tries to be easygoing about life.

#kin assignment #kin matchup #danganronpa #yttd #ddlc #natsuki #ranmaru kageyama #chiaki nanami

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aidemint · 3 years

Text

reflection - bucky barnes

word count: 3k+

notes: god i just love Bucky so much asdkjahdkfjhskdjfsdf his character is kinda hard to capture because of the layers that marvel set up but i tried lol

warnings: angst turned to fluff with a lil bit of spicy kissin with a hickey 😏😏 but mostly (?) wholesome bucky n his beautiful partner 🥰✨

Ever since Bucky moved into the Avengers compound, he was always distant. He’d go out of his way to avoid close contact with anyone besides Steve, even going so far as to skip meals or lock himself up in his room all day, reading books that Steve delivered to his quarters. And despite all the pleading and beckoning from Steve’s end, it seemed like nothing could get Bucky to open up and spend at least a few hours with the people around him.

Perhaps his self-isolation was a form of self-punishment. Perhaps he didn’t truly believe that he deserved anything, or that he wanted to be with people, that he wanted to laugh and have fun with friends. There was an amalgamation of repressed emotion behind those piercing, dark blue eyes.

In understanding this, I was fortunate enough to get close to Bucky -- not as a means to fix him, but to understand and comfort him when and where he needed me. We’d spend nights together looking at the stars, talking about the bits and pieces of our childhoods that we could remember, or simply laying next to each other in complete silence, relishing the peaceful and serene atmosphere that the evening brought.

And it was in that setting in which we shared our first kiss.

From then on, we always shared a special, intimate relationship. He opened up to me, as I did to him. We were equals -- something that Bucky had never known, being trapped in the Hydra system ever since he got out of ice.

But I’d only known him for a few months. I’d only been with him for a shorter amount of time. There was so much more to uncover, so much more that he had yet to choose to speak with me about because he just wanted to keep everything stuffed inside a tight little jar and ignore it. He wanted to ignore it because he was scared. He was afraid that the soldier would come back and he would lose everything all over again.

He was scared of the monster, of the ravager that lived inside of his mind in the minefield of memories.

A habit of his seemed to sprout from this inherent terror.

Whenever I talked to him, he could never keep his gaze trained on mine. His stare wandered to every inch of my face but never seemed to pass my eyes. He’d look at my forehead and the bridge of my nose at an attempt to fool me into thinking that he was lost in my eyes, but I knew. And it was the same with reflective surfaces. He’d turn away from mirrors and slightly opaque windows with a wince, hide behind his cap and stare at the ground in elevators, among other acts.

For days, I wondered why. I even mustered the courage to ask him, but he’d deflect, then changed the topic as soon as he could. I didn’t prod, as I didn’t want to venture in a space beyond his comfort zone, so I just left it.

Yet it still seemed to haunt me. I figured it would be an inquiry that was to remain forever unsolved, but it lingered at the back of my mind whenever I saw Bucky. This was beginning to form a bad habit. I didn’t want myself to become fixated on “helping” him in a zone that he’s clearly not comfortable talking about. I couldn’t allow for myself to spiral into obsession over such a thing.

So the question remained unanswered.

A week had elapsed since the thought had initially come to mind. It was midnight and I was finishing up some research about a newer perpetrator that was affiliated with a series of bombings in Berlin. As I sent the documents to Tony so he could do some deep diving, someone entered the hall, light footsteps padding towards the small kitchen island where I was sat.

I lifted my head up only to see Bucky moving towards me. Closing my laptop, I gave him a small smile and turned to him.

“Buck? What’s up?” He sucked in a breath and let it out shakily as he took a seat on the kitchen island next to me. I couldn’t tell what emotion his expression was of, but it wasn’t something pleasant. No, his brows were furrowed and his lips were pulled into a deep frown with unexpectedly prominent wrinkles forming underneath his eyes and on either side of his nose. It didn’t foretell the beginnings of devastation, nor desolation, but a simpler feeling that I didn’t recognize.

“I need to talk to you,” he spoke lowly. I nodded, holding my hands out so that he could place his in mine. Not minding that his gaze was lowered as to avoid mine, I still stared at him attentively, making sure that he knew that he had every bit of my attention.

“I’m here for you, sweetheart.” I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You can tell me anything.” The brunette gave a small but appreciative smile, then cleared his throat before speaking.

“You know the question you asked me before?” I nodded. “I think I have an answer.”

“I’m all ears,” I murmured in response, rubbing the tops of his hands with my thumbs, “Take your time.” Bucky opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it soon after, unable to unstick the words that were lodged in his throat.

He looked as if there was something restricting him from telling me -- a higher, greater force that forbade him from speaking about this taboo topic that was his issue. His irises, normally a deep shade of clear blue, were stormy, clouded with dark thoughts that swirled around his mind. The sight was uncomfortably familiar -- I’d seen that face before, when he first arrived at the Avengers compound. His hair was disheveled and he looked like he hadn’t showered in a week, but what stood out to me the most was how pained his gaze was. The complete and utter wreck that he was inside only showed through his stare and it hurt me more than expected.

I never truly believed the ambition of the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul,” but for the first time, it became my mantra. How torturous was Bucky’s inner state, how unbelievably despondent he was. That chest of his lacked a spirit because it had died in the wasteland of the mind. There was no shred of hope left in his consciousness.

There was no sparkle in his eyes.

I wondered where that gleam had gone.

In the present, I kept waiting for his response, patiently sitting and holding his hands until he was ready.

Bucky drew in a breath, then let it out, squeezing his eyes shut to focus on clearing his mind and seeking comfort in our bond, in the trust that he’d so courageously given to me.

He fluttered his eyelids open once he found his place.

And then it all came out in carefully chosen words and cautious sentences.

“I hate seeing my reflection. I hate it. If there was a stronger word, I would use it, but i-it’s all that I can come up with right now. I-I just- Every time that I see myself I just think that this was the last face that people saw before they died, that this was the face plastered across the news, that this was the face that served for Hydra.

And it’s pathetic, I know. I know that I’m an Avenger now, and I know that I’ve somehow changed, and I know how much effort you put into each and every moment, in trying to understand me, and I feel so horrible every single time you look at me and I can’t seem to return that… that hopeful smile, or lovestruck gaze because I just-” He paused, an influx of emotion surging through his body. I rubbed a thumb against the back of his hand to assure him that everything was going to be alright.

“I can’t look at you because I can’t stand seeing that… that man in your bright eyes. Those bright eyes that are filled with so much life, so much joy whenever they’re on me. I don’t- I don’t want him to be in there. I don’t want him to hurt you, (Y/N). I don’t want-” The brunette stifled a sob by tugging his bottom lip in between his teeth. My heart ached at the sight, my grip on his hands becoming tighter as I watched him come undone. He turned to me with tears in his eyes, tears that threatened to fall onto his cheeks, threatening to stain his skin with the colors of sorrow.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered. A trembling breath flew out of my mouth as all the wind seemed to be knocked out of my lungs at the impact of his words. I took him into my arms, pressing his heart to mine and clenching my fists around the fabric of his shirt. Bucky slowly wrapped his arms around my body, finding comfort in my touch, resting his chin on top of my shoulder blade, drinking in my scent in heavy but silent gasps.

“Oh sweetheart…” I flattened my fingers to softly pat his back, attempting to ease him into a less panicked state. “Everything’s gonna be alright. We’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, I’m not going to get hurt because of you. You’re not going to hurt me, honey.” The brunette in my embrace shuddered, hopelessly clutching onto me in desperation, almost at a mad scramble for some sort of safety.

We sat there, intertwined with one another as I whispered words of solace until Bucky’s breaths became even and his hiccups subsided, making way for a smoother airflow and a stable, steady heart rate. Unlocking my arms so that we could separate, I gingerly placed my hands on Bucky’s chest and delicately pushed away enough for me to brush all the hair out of his face and press a kiss to his forehead.

“Bucky, I want to show you something.”

“What is it?”

Taking his left hand, I led him to the bathroom down the long hallway on our floor. He sensed what was going on and immediately stopped in the middle of the hall, his grasp tightening around my hand.

“(Y/N),” he spoke, “(Y/N), please.” I clasped my hands around his metal one and gave the back of it a kiss, my gaze full of sorrow as I stared at the brunette.

“Please, Buck. Let me help you.” Bucky could hear the pleading tone about my voice. He hesitated for a moment, pausing to take a breath, but eventually gave a reluctant nod as I led him to the bathroom. Upon entry, Bucky immediately bowed his head, completely avoiding the centerpiece mirror as he moved to a spot in front of it. I gave a soft, sympathetic sigh and hopped on the table that was built into the giant vanity, making sure that my boyfriend was positioned right in front of me.

“If you’d like, you can close your eyes, sweetheart,” I hummed, “Can you lift your head up for me?” The brunette did as he was told, fluttering his eyelids shut as I gently raised his chin so that it sat at a normal angle. Letting a breath out, I admired his features with despairing irises. I looked on at his red, puffy eyes and unkempt skin as a pang of heartache reverberated through my body. Despite how painful it was to see him in such anguish, I managed to swallow the lump in my throat and opened my mouth to speak to the broken man.

“Honey, I-I don’t know how you feel. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must have gone through during your darkest times, but I want to be there for you. I want to be there for you whenever you crash or you forget that your actions in the past don’t dictate your future. You’re not the person you were a year ago, Buck. Your face doesn’t remind me of the desolate times, but of the happiest moments in my life.” Noticing that I was getting loud, I paused for a few seconds to cool off, then continued.

“Whenever I see this face,” I murmured, cupping Bucky’s cheeks in my palms, “I see my Bucky. I see the face of the man who has been nothing short of sweet, understanding, patient, and oh-so dear to me.” My view flitted to his hair, to which I reached for to slowly entangle my fingers in. Bucky gave a small hum as I brushed my digits through his hair, instinctively collecting the brown locks into a half-bun. His neck arched at the feeling, his shoulders sinking while I continued to play with his hair while talking freely.

“I see the face of the man who is selfless, caring, who is willing to change and diverge from his past to strive towards a brighter future.” As I secured the half-bun in place with a hair tie, I smiled at the sight of Bucky’s expression: his eyes were still closed, but the edges of his lips were curled up in content and comfort -- a rare but always stunning sight.

“I also see the face of the man that I love with every single bit of my heart, and who I know loves me all the same.” Finishing the look, I leaned back and reveled in the newfound freshness to the brunette’s complexion.

“If you want, you can open your eyes, Buck.” To my complete surprise, his eyes shot open the moment those words left my mouth. Without missing a beat, he jerked forwards and looked at the mirror with sudden resolution. My heart jumped upon seeing his readiness and the sudden jerk his body took upon, but soon melted as I recognized spots of determination and wholehearted faith in his expression.

He was slowly shifting out of his comfort zone.

The progress made here tonight would’ve taken weeks if we attempted this a few months ago.

It was an understatement to say that I was absolutely ecstatic about this huge leap we’d taken together. My emotions were beyond elation, beyond excited -- the mere thought that Bucky had felt comfortable enough around me to do this sparked a fire within my chest, one that sent flames rushing through my veins so that the tips of my fingers tingled, trembling as they struggled to contain the enhanced level of exhilaration.

“Baby,” I breathed, “Oh, Bucky.” I turned around to look at the mirror and watched in pure joy as a delighted grin spread across my lover’s face, lighting up his features in the best ways possible. His gaze shifted to my reflection, then back to his, soaking in the wholeness of the image before us.

“You’re beautiful,” he spoke, “You’re so beautiful, (Y/N).” My heart leapt to my throat as I burst into laughter, my cheeks rosy and my head spinning. He’d called me beautiful in the past, but it never felt like this -- so pure, so close to the heart and endearing as ever. The brunette stepped back to gaze at me as I giggled with a hand clapped over my mouth.

“Doll, don’t you dare cover your face, now.” Bucky gripped both of my forearms and pulled down so that the big, dopey grin on my face was fully exposed and my laughter could finally echo freely through the chamber of the bathroom. The brunette drank in the melody of merriment with a big, dopey grin of his own as he started to slide his hands down my arms and to my thighs.

“Hey, look at me, beautiful.” Instinctively, my gaze shifted to meet Bucky’s. The world seemed to slow moments before our eyes met. Waves of motion blurred and the background turned into white and beige gaze as my pupils started to fixate on my lover.

There was silence, seemingly senseless blindness, even.

And then this brilliant wave of blue, the crashing of cymbals, the tidal wave that immediately swept over my eyes.

I started to cry as I saw the way his irises glimmered underneath the bathroom lights as they bore into mine, those beautiful dark blue irises finally making their way into the depths of my soul. I cried my heart out, hot tears streaming down my flushed face, cascading down my cheeks and dripping onto my chin. God. I was breathless.

“Doll,” he said, brushing a tear off of my cheek, “Hey, what’s wrong? Are my eyes that ugly?” I laughed at his jokes, lightly shoving him in response to his cheeky comment.

“I-I’m just so happy,” I sobbed, “I’m so happy, Bucky.” The brunette smiled and leaned in, nearing my face as his eyes grew half-lidded. He gave my thighs a squeeze before whispering against my lips, his hot breaths bearing down on them, filled with want.

“I am too.”

His lips pressed against mine and suddenly everything was right in the world. As my hands slid up to cup his face in my palms, I wrapped my legs around his torso, bringing him closer to me, his lower stomach pressed against my core. I hummed at the sensation of his finding their way to my waist, fingers smoothing over my curves, cherishing every small wave that they found themselves riding.

Gasping softly as his mouth moved to layer kisses down my neck, I moved my hands to rest comfortably on Bucky’s shoulders as he started to lap at a spot at the base of my neck. Small huffs of breath and mewls spouted out of me as the brunette worked on forming a bruise.

“God, I love you,” he murmured into my skin, “I love you so much.” I could only hum in response, toes curling at the sensation of his teeth gently nipping at my collarbone as his tongue coaxed my nerves to scream in delight.

Once he was done, he parted from my collarbone with a satisfied glint in his eyes and lifted his head to fondly gaze at my relaxed features.

“Thank you, (Y/N). For everything,” he spoke. I kissed his forehead and beamed at him, overjoyed to finally have seen him like this -- relaxed, with a radiance about his expression that could not be attained from anything other than pure laughter.

And with that, I pressed my lips to his again, only parting to reply to his expression of gratitude.

“You deserve it, baby. You deserve it.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #avengers #the winter soldier #winter soldier #bucky barnes x reader oneshot #bucky barnes oneshot #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x reader oneshot #x reader #reflection #god i love bucky so goddamn much please let me give you a big smooch #tried to capture his character but idk how well i did lol

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kikis-writing-world · 3 years

Text

Goodbye

Summary: You had to wait on Fett’s ship while they stormed the cruiser. You wait impatiently for the outcome of the rescue.

Pairing: Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Rating/Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 16!!!! Other than the spoilers, it’s all angst and no editing lol. But seriously, if you’re avoiding finding out what happens in Season 2, Episode 8 / Chapter 16 of The Mandalorian, don’t read this yet.

Set after The Reason, but can be read as a stand-alone

A/N: That episode wrecked me so... who wants more angst? Despite my reservations last week about posting a reaction fic, here’s one for this week! I had another follow up planned to The Reason, which I will likely still write eventually and set after this one.

Your leg bounced anxiously as you waited for Fett to relay any news. You’d already asked twice if he’d heard from them yet and didn’t want to annoy him further. He was a nice enough man but you had seen him in battle. You had no intention of pushing him to the ends of his patience.

You wished you were with them on the cruiser. You had wanted to go but had been met with five different disapproving stares, even if some of those stares were hidden under helmets. You had been expecting Din to argue that it was unsafe, but the others agreeing had been a surprise.

You had proven yourself on Sorgan. You had helped take down a walker for Gods’ sake! You were there when Moff Gideon first showed his face, you had helped with the Krayt Dragon, had breached the old imp base on Nevarro- You could handle it.

Ultimately, you lost the argument. Din claimed he needed to know you were safe to focus on saving Grogu. Cara, although she complimented your skills previously, explained that you weren't ready to take on dark troopers. Bo-Katan and Koska dismissed you entirely. Boba was gentle in his denial, simply stating that it would be safer for you to stay with him as he placed a hand on your shoulder. Fennec nodded along with his statements. You reluctantly agreed.

You didn’t want to be a cause for distraction or to get in anyone’s way, but you felt useless. You just wanted to help. Your heart ached for the child, having no idea if he was safe or if he was cold, hungry and scared. Your whole being was begging for a role in the plot so that you could help, but you had to tell yourself the best help you could be was to simply wait.

“Just got their signal” Fett’s voice echoed through the hold. “We’re going in.”

You nearly sobbed in relief at his words. You wanted to ask who had been the one to hail him, had they said anything about what happened, did they find Grogu, was everyone okay- you didn’t ask any of the questions. Instead you gripped your harness tightly, knuckled turning white with the pressure, anxiously awaiting.

You had shed several tears by the time Slave I had docked. You were certain they had the child. Even if something had happened to one of them, any of them, they would make sure he gets back to you. That much you were sure of. You were unclipping the harness as soon as the ship righted itself, running for the ramp.

They were all there. All standing. No blood or major injuries to be found. You felt relief flood you as it was confirmed: they’d done it. Cara, Fennec, Bo-Katan, Koska, a cuffed Moff Gideon and-

Din was helmetless. Your breath caught at the sight, still unused to just how handsome he was. You ran for him, needing to wrap your arms around him, to feel that he was okay, to hold him and your foundling and know your little family was back together.

“Where is he?” You asked excitedly as you reached them. Din stopped walking, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your neck. The others carried on to the ship, giving the two of you a moment of privacy.

“Din?” You asked quietly, making sure your voice didn’t carry over to them. “Where’s Grogu?”

“He’s gone, cyar'ika.” He mumbled against your skin. You could hear just how much his voice shook without the modulator of his helmet to disguise his emotions.

The words felt like ice cold water being dumped over your body. They stole your breath away and your knees buckled. You would have fallen had Din not been holding you so tightly. “W-what?” You stuttered, trying to comprehend what he had said.

“He’s okay,” he clarified. “He’s where he belongs.”

That made no sense. You regained your strength so you could take a step back, forcing Din’s head up so you could look him in the eyes. His didn’t drop his hold on you, just moved his hands to your upper arms. “Where he belongs? He belongs with us.”

He shook his head, sadness pooled in those brown eyes. He wasn’t crying, but the tears were threatening to spill over any moment.

“A Jedi came. Skywalker. He’s going to train him, take care of him.” He whispered.

It felt like a punch to the gut. You couldn’t quite catch a decent breath, your shaking inhalations echoing through the hangar.

You knew this moment had been coming. It’s what the two of you had been working towards for months it seemed. Din had been charged with returning the child to it’s people, to the Jedi. You had thought Ahsoka Tano would train him, but she wouldn’t take him. You’d been secretly relieved for more time with the little green being, but now that time was up. Too much of it had been stolen by Moff Gideon taking the child away from you.

“Well, where is he?” You demanded, feeling the tears pooling in your own eyes. It had been hard enough to say goodbye when you thought he would be staying on Corvus, but now it seemed it was happening for real.

“He’s gone.” Din admitted. The muscles of his face shook as they flexed, trying to keep his emotions in check.

You shook your head before looking around the hangar for an out of place ship. Whatever the Jedi had arrived in. “No, I haven’t said goodbye yet.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, his own voice growing shakier as he cupped your cheek. He pulled your attention back to him.

“But…” you bit your lip to stop it from shaking. “I didn’t say goodbye.”

Din pulled you back into a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around him in return, burying your face in the cloth of his cape pooled around his neck. The smell of sweat and blaster fire clung to the fabric as you sobbed.

“I didn’t even get to tell him I love him. To say goodbye.” You cried loudly, not caring who in the galaxy could hear your sorrow.

“He knows. I promise cyar'ika, he knows.” He croaked.

Din shook in your arms. He didn’t make another sound, but his body shook with his own silent sobs. Your legs gave out under you and he lowered the two of you to the ground. You ended up in his lap, both of you holding on tightly to the other as you could as you cried. Your little family was down to two, and you hadn’t been ready in the least.

Tagging: @wickedfrsgrl @din-damn-djarin @thisisthe-wayson @insideafictionaluniverse

#The Mandalorian Spoilers #Din Djarin x Reader #The Mandalorian x Reader #Din Djarin drabble #The Mandalorian drabble #Din Djarin imagine #The Mandalorian imagine #Din Djarin fanfic #The Mandalorian fanfic #Pedro Pascal Character fanfiction #WookieTales

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silverloreley · 3 years

Text

What a delusion...

I was cautiously optimistic about Wandavision before it came out. I thought it could lead me to reconnect a bit with the MCU (I intentionally skipped a lot of movies and disliked every one I saw after AoU, with a small exception for Black Panther and Dr Strange, not to mention I never finished Endgame, so...).

Dear, I was wrong.

I started watching it with some interest after seeing the trailer on tv, I have been a long-time fan of Bewitched and I hoped for something on that line, a lighthearted fantasy Wanda concocted to deal with the loss, only for someone to get in and help her get out of it and cope in a more reasonable way because they needed her or something, or maybe because she was an Avenger who went missing and people wondered what happened to her and if what she was doing could be dangerous (a reasonable belief, I may add, given her precedents...), a thing like that. And it sort of was like that, except it wasn’t?

And, okay, I was biased from my own high expectations, I wished for things that weren’t there and Marvel would have never given me (full and well-thought plot, emotions, exploration of magic in the MCU and so forth), but I didn’t think they could mess up so bad. The finale in particular was a train wreck.

Why introduce new characters (and bring back Darcy) if they are of no consequence in the final showdown? I guess they needed to introduce White Vision (even though I can’t fathom why...) plus make an origin story for the powers of Monica (to whom I had no prior attachment since I didn’t see Captain Marvel but I grew quickly fond of her here), but what else? We didn’t get to see her abilities or her coming to terms with them (which would have been great and possible if she had been introduced to the plot earlier) or anything. Nor it made me hope to see her again because I am back to be uninterested in anything Marvel after this mess. The fact they gave us the twins only to take them away like that and in the after credits make them call for mom made me irrationally angry on top of the rest. I won’t even mention the whole Quicksilver matter because it was plain stupid to cause all that hype for nothing.

I don’t really understand how could they ruin it so badly, especially after how good ep8 had been in comparison to the rest. Meh.

To cite @lucianalight, how can we consider Wanda a hero after that? Even leaving out what she did before (she was pardoned for her AoU actions by joining the Avengers and fixing what she’s done as much as she could and we don’t know how many lives she saved before CW happened, so I give her the benefit of doubt that she redeemed herself a bit there), but now we saw she kept the town trapped even after she realized what she did! Agatha may have wanted to take her powers but she had a point in saying “heroes don’t torture”, and then what did Wanda do afterwards? Condamned Agatha, who could have been a great teacher to her, maybe a good friend in due time, to live a shallow life as a brainwashed dimwit?! WHY? Agatha had a point. Multiple points, if we take the hints the Scarlet Witch would be the one who destroys the Multiverse. In a way, Agatha was trying to prevent that by taking the power she saw, a win-win situation at the expenses of Wanda, I’ll give you that, but ultimately not that villainous.

I guess that what I’m trying to say is: why couldn’t the plot be more coherent with the idea Wanda was a hero AND with the MCU in general?

But, hey, Marvel sucks at anything but special effects and I don’t know why I had hopes for this show. Just like I don’t have any more hopes for the Loki series (which is a pity because I wished so bad for Tom Hiddleston to reprise the role on his own terms with some creativity freedom that could take Loki back to the Shakesperean anti-hero from his early days I love so much, but clearly Marvel doesn’t know what a precious resource they have, blame on them).

(And here I realize I elaborated a rewriting of WandaVision so I’ll put it under a read more because it wasn’t the original point of this post, lol)

Would it have been too hard to make the first episode and half as they were, then introduce Monica as they did but without a whole town hostage and more like, I don’t know, a magic red coocoon the size of the house in the middle of a simple town that alarmed a lot of people? Maybe with people being sucked in for a few hours from time to time and with no memories of it, except for the transmission of the “episodes” on a magically appeared channel in the town’s tv.

And then Monica, who tried to get in and was sent out, would recognize Agatha as someone from “outside” too and try to figure out what was going on. Cue Monica and Agatha both trying to “wake” Wanda each in their own way but Monica, who understands Wanda’s grief a little better than Agatha, would be the one to breach out Wanda’s on a feelings-level while Agatha, being more interested in Wanda’s powers would try to see the full extent of them.

Here I had two ideas: Agatha is a gray-character who just wants to study another witch, maybe to figure her out or to have a student after centuries alone. Or Villain Agatha who wants to unleash chaos magic to the greatest extend possible to get her own gain, maybe to exploit the twins who were spawned from pure magic, or, as it was speculated, she’s allied with Mephisto who wants the kids for his own nefarious scheme.

Either way, Wanda has to face Agatha. First scenario: Agatha realizes Wanda is the Scarlet Witch and offers to teach her a proper way of magic, perhaps to avoid the destruction of the Universe the Darkholme (I hope I got the name right) predicts, with Monica, who is finding her own powers and dealt with her grief along with Wanda, convinces Wanda it’s a good idea. Second case: Agatha kidnaps the boys and sends them to Mephisto, Wanda and Monica fight her but the boys are lost in the Multiverse and Wanda has to teach herself magic to find them again.

About Vision, the fact he was an illusion and Wanda didn’t steal the corpse to revive it was the only good point of the plot, their goodbye was very emotional and I liked it enough to think it could have stayed the same, but the boys were born through Chaos magic so they woulndn’t disappear. In the grey!Agatha scenario, they would stay with Wanda in the cottage while she learns magic (we could have had a cool scene with her playing with the kids while her astral projection studies magic, like in the post-credit scene), only to be kidnapped mysteriously when she turns for a second.

And maybe my take shows I would have liked more friendship between Wanda and Monica, and maybe I think Agnes’ potential and all the implication of her very existence were wasted, maybe I would have given people the cameo we were expecting with Strange showing up at the cottage with a “you need to learn things properly if you want to save your kids and not destroy the multiverse by accident”, and so on.

#wandavison spoilers #just my personal thoughts #it's long and unedited please be nice if you spot mistakes I wrote half of it while watching Sanremo #I'm sure there are plot holes in my idea but I wrote it in 15 minutes so whatever #it's not like I'm paid for it #unlike Marvel authors

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jungtified · 4 years

Text

convenience store | j.j.h.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: college student! Jaehyun x college student! Reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: fluff & a tiny dot of angst <3

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1.5k

𝐀/𝐍: honestly, if anyone reads this, I don’t actually know what was going in my mind when i decided to write this lol. I don’t even like this but I ain’t wasting my time and effort so... if you like this enjoy <3??? and if you don’t then high-five! bitch same. + if there are any mistakes, let me know! I’m kinda blind sometimes. last but not least, any feedbacks would be greatly appreciated :) enjoy!

your phone had been ringing continuously for the past 5 minutes. you cursed silently and rubbed your eyes, turning to your side table where your phone laid before picking it up finally.

“hey beautiful, let’s go get some ramen,” Jaehyun said playfully. you groaned after his words. “what’s wrong with you, it’s literally 3 a.m., I’m trying to get some sleep!” you replied with a tired, raspy voice.

“damn, you sound sexy. come on, I’ll be at your door in 5.” he joked and hanged up before you could even say something. ‘this asshole, is he even living in the correct time zone? he called me beautiful and sexy though…’ you thought and whilst annoyed at him, you blushed.

Jaehyun is the one guy favoured by all. you didn't think you'd be friends with him one day, let alone pay attention to you. but after he sat next to you in class, he found himself beside you more often and becoming best friends in no time. you were very much surprised to be a quiet person like you are usually, that he would hang out with you. even the campus gossiped about you both for a while after you unexpectedly hanged out with him.

with the vibe Jaehyun had around him, you instantly hated him the first time you met each other. but it all changed after he managed to treat you to coffee, ending up spending hours there just talking about life. you found out that he isn’t what he’s always like, cold and a dry texter type of guy. actually kind and friendly, he also likes getting you to be adventurous, trying many new things you wouldn’t usually go for.

the amount of time you had spent around him was ridiculous, it’s like you can’t live without him. of course, you started developing feelings for him over time. you can’t remember when exactly, but you were clear of it after he hung out a couple times with a girl named Wendy. you couldn’t understand why you were jealous of them at first, but your knowledge of how protagonists fall in love in k-dramas and fiction stories made you realise you were crushing on him.

finally, out of your tiny daydream, you got out of your bed to check yourself. you looked exactly to what you thought you would look like, a whole wreck. unlike you, when some people wake up, they actually look good, like Jaehyun. what in the world was god thinking while he was making you and Jaehyun? did he miss an ingredient or something?

a knock was heard when you were combing your hair. immediately knowing who it was, you shouted, “come in!”. Jaehyun walked in and was scared by your glaring looks at him. “okay, I’m sorry for calling you so late at night. let’s go!” he said.

“but I have to look decent!” you replied.

“ma’am you look perfectly fine to me, let’s get going right now!” he said while dragging you away while snatching the comb off your hands.

sitting outside the 24/7 convenience store, Jaehyun told you to wait for him. you looked up to the sky, stars shining bright. it’s beautiful but, it constantly reminds you of how Jaehyun’s like the stars. so fucking gorgeous, people admiring him just like how people admire stars. yet you’re just an ordinary girl, working hard in school and getting good grades to graduate university just to get a good job in life without having fun in your school years. that was your plan until he came along.

you couldn’t believe that someone like him found you entertaining. he told you once that you were fun to be with. he told you that you’re a great person. he told you that he loves how you treat people equally, even him. those words made your heart flutter. sometimes you just want to shout your feelings out for him, you want to be with him forever. he makes you feel happy and worth. all the times he made you feel better after a bad mood, or whenever you get your period, he never fails to surprise you. your favourite foods? his appearance? simply anything he does just makes you smile.

the thing is you didn’t have the courage. you tried multiple times to hint that you like him, but it didn’t work. getting scared that one day you’d miss the chance of being with him, you had to build tons and tons of courage. obviously, the number one reason for not telling him about your feelings was quite obvious you were scared that he won’t be able to reciprocate your feelings and end up ruining the friendship the both of you have built up over the past year.

but today, right now, you felt like it was now or never. you are ready to risk your friendship for love. was it the energetic feeling of being awake at 3 a.m.? or just the sight of how you saw Wendy was all over Jaehyun last week made you bold? you couldn’t take it anymore; you were sick of it. ‘okay, don’t be nervous, don’t back down you scaredy-cat. when he comes out you must tell him.’ you assured, telling yourself that it’ll be okay.

the moment Jaehyun pushed the door of the convenience store open, you stood up and gathered your courage to speak out your feelings to him. “Jaehyun! I-I have something to tell you…” you stuttered for a moment, nervous of what was to come. “okay… you seem a little nervous,” he answered as he sets down the ramen and snacks he was carrying.

“you know, w-we have been f-friends for quite some time n-now right, Jaehyun?” you said, eyes starting to water. you felt so overwhelmed by your feelings for him, along with the turning feeling inside you.

“Y/N, calm down, are you okay? you’re making me nervous.”

“no-no, I’m fine, just listen to me yeah,” you assured him. “uhm, I’m really thankful for all the times you’ve spent with me. I’m so happy that you became my best friend and whatever happens, you’re still my friend, right?” you asked with a cracked voice, twisting one of your rings around your finger.

“you… did something wrong? or you don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” he questioned nervously speaking fast and hands turning clammy. he liked your company, a lot. which explains why he was really scared that you would leave him one day.

“no Jaehyun, listen to me. I-I uh, I really like you. like, like-like you, and I can’t stand the sight of you and Wendy together anymore. I can’t help but feel so pissed off and jealous all the time even if I don’t show it. I’m sorry for that and you probably don’t like me back. I think just ruined our friendship; I hope we still can be friends after this.” you spilled, fingers fidgeting and tears running down your face.

you looked at him for a response. no matter what it’s gonna be, you told yourself you’ll accept it even if it’s a rejection. but all he did was to stare at you with such intense eyes. it wasn’t sadness, lust, or hatred. you couldn’t make out the emotions he’s having, therefore you decided to leave since you ruined the atmosphere.

“I-I should just go…”

you stood up to walk back to your apartment, feeling so overwhelmed from your confession. you felt so sad but so good that finally, you spilled your feelings out. the stuffiness was gone, but the thought that you will never be the same around Jaehyun again made you feel worse.

turning to the direction of your apartment, you felt Jaehyun grabbing your arm. “what now?” you coldly reply turning around to shake his grip off you. somehow, he managed to hug you. “Y/N. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time now. the reason why I’m asking you out for ramen right now was to tell you, I have liked you since the first time we’ve met.” he spoke calmly, holding you tight. as a response to his words, you hugged him back. you never thought that he would like you back, especially the way he treated you usually.

however, inside his mind was full of regrets, regretting that you were the one to confess first and not him. it should be jealousy, but he regretted that he made you wait too long. also, the fact that you thought he and Wendy were in flirting terms made his heart break a little.

“but I thought you liked Wendy,” you questioned, breaking his train of thought.

“since when? she’s irritating, I only saw her as a friend,” he assured you.

the moment he told you that, you began to cry harder. of all the times you saw them together and telling yourself that he doesn’t like you, were purely just some imagination that you perceived yourself to believe. he pulled away, hands now holding your waist. attempting to wipe your tears away, you ended up crying more out of joy. you couldn’t believe it.

“are you sure you like me?” you ask as a confirmation.

“yes Y/N. I’m in love with you.”

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