#Wednesday Y/N is tough as nails | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkydevil16 · 1 year

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Dark! Xavier Thorpe x reader: part 12

18+ smut

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Xavier and Y/n stood on the balcony his head on her shoulder as they watched everyone's parents hug their kids as Y/n pulled a face, Xavier pulling her into his chest as he kissed her neck comforting her.

"Is your mum not coming?" He whispered Y/n shaking her head before looking over her shoulder at him.

"What about your dad?" Xavier let out a sad laugh shaking his head and kissing Y/n quickly.

"He's too busy being famous to care about his son." Y/n smiled sadly at him nodding as she turned back towards the quad seeing Wednesday and her parents talking awkwardly before freezing in his arms as her mum walked through the doors instantly staring up at Y/n as Xavier said her name Y/n too freaked out to hear him as her mum began walking up the steps.

"Fuck." Y/n said pulling out of Xavier's arms making sure he was shielded behind her as her mum stepped out the stairwell, Xavier holding her hand as Y/n glared at her mum.

"Ahh hello darling, did you miss me?" Y/n didn't move as her mum stepped forward her eyes casting over Xavier with a smile as she looked him up and down.

"Mhm whose this tall glass of water?" Xavier's eyes widened as Y/n's mum moved closer going to rub her nails along his arm as Y/n smacked her hand scowling at her.

"He's too young for you." Y/n snapped back her mum pouting at her as she looked at her nails then smiled at her daughter.

"Aren't you going to give mummy a hug?" Y/n's face changed to one of disgust as she looked her mum up and down.

"Don't call yourself that, you're basically just an incubator, mum implies you raised me." Y/n's mum scowled pointing her finger at Y/n as her eyes flashed purple placing one hand on her hip.

"I am a great mother." Y/n deadpanned as she stared at her mum Xavier keeping his eyes down as he tried not to say anything but he didn't like how Y/n's mum looked at her.

"You threatened to sell my soul to the devil when i didn't do homework." Y/n responded her mum sighing and flitting her hand as she rolled her eyes.

"It was a joke." Y/n's mouth fell open as she glared at her mum tilting her head.

"You tied me to a tree and started chanting." Y/n's mum kept playing it off as she checked her nails.

"You really need to get over that." Her mum smiling at her as Y/n simmered in her anger before responding.

"I was 7." Y/n gritted out her hands in fists beside her as her mum came over pulling her out of Xavier's hold Y/n dragging her feet as her mum stood in front of her fussing over her hair and clothes whilst Y/n's eyes flashed purple Xavier scowling at Y/n's mum before she turned to him putting her hand towards him.

"I'm Lilith L/N, and you are Xavier Thorpe i believe. I have heard so much about you from Principle Weems. You chose the rich one atleast." Lilith turned back to Y/n as she spoke Y/n's jaw clenching as she looked towards Xavier begging him to walk away as she saw the look in his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, i'll catch you later Y/n." Y/n waved at him as her mum started pulling her away talking all about what she'd been upto whilst Y/n ignored her mum rolling her eyes as she passed other students. Her mum suddenly stopping and facing her whilst Y/n glared up at her.

"What are you doing here? We both know you don't care about parents weekend so hurry up and spit it out." Lilith dropped her smile as she stared at her daughter before her eyes flashed purple and Y/n stood up straight and looked at her properly feeling a hit on her head harshly from her mum's power.

"Listen you little shit, you can pretend to be tough or whatever this act is, i let you disrespect me earlier but you watch your tone or i'll haul your sad little ass out of here and throw you back into public school away from your boyfriend." Y/n glared at her mum her hands turning dark purple as her power radiated around her anger coursing through her veins.

"What do you want?" Y/n gritted out her eyes now vivid purple as her mum started smiling happily at her smoothing down Y/n's hair with her magic to make her look more presentable.

"I wanted to see my daughter is that a crime?" Y/n held her tongue as she went to snap at her mum as she scrutinised her appearance before waving her hand and altering Y/n's uniform, her skirt now above her knees and tights no longer ripped with mary janes instead of trainers. Y/n looking down as her mum thought for a moment waving her hand against as Y/n's shirt fitted to her properly due to it being Xavier's Y/n glaring at her mum as she dragged out the silver X around her neck looping her nail in it.

"Hmm, better but this necklace...Xavier is a possessive one huh? I'm surprised you haven't chewed him up and spat him out like i would but you always were soft to affection." Y/n pulled the necklace out her mum's hold tucking it into her shirt glaring at her mum as she smirked down at her.

"They say what you want in a relationship is what you lacked in childhood." Lilith glared at her daughter again as she looked down at her before clicking her tongue.

"I'm trying, can you atleast be thankful i'm trying for once." Y/n raised her eyebrow crossing her arms at her mum's expression.

"Why?" Y/n waited as she watched her mum try to come up with a reason other than the undoubtably selfish reason she truly had come to the school for, Lilith sighing loudly before looking at Y/n again.

"Fine, the coven demanded i come and check on you because of your power, since you've come here it's been going haywire and i think we both know it's because of that boy." Y/n rolled her eyes chuckling as she looked down shaking her head before looking at her mum.

"I knew you'd never actually care, my powers are fine. I'm in control." Y/n calmed her powers not wanting to show her mum that the coven was right, she knew since she'd met Xavier they'd been going a little haywire especially during sex but she couldn't help it. Y/n quickly turned her mum and began pushing her towards the exit of the school.

"Well great chat, sorry you can't stay longer, see you at the next séance or your funeral i guess, don't text me i'll text you. Bub-bye, adios, see ya." Lilith glared at Y/n over her shoulder as she stood just over the threshold Y/n sarcastically waving.

"I'm being serious Y/n they don't want another out of control witch." Y/n rolled her eyes smiling at her mum before spinning on her heels waving her hand as the doors closed behind her letting out a happy sigh as she walked through the Quad Wednesday staring at her as she passed. Xavier came out the shadows walking in time with Y/n as he threw his arm over her shoulder the two finding their way back to the balcony to look down at everyone.

"What did she want?" Xavier asked as though he hadn't been hiding round the corner snooping to make sure Y/n was okay, Y/n rolled her eyes smirking at him as she turned leaning against the balcony as Xavier caged her against the stone wall.

"Apparently the elders of the coven are worried i'm going to get out of control or some other bullshit so sent her to check up on me. But she's gone now and i know just how we should spend our free weekend." Y/n ran her hand along his arm as she pressed against him Xavier smirking at her as he held her waist leaning down to kiss her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Xavier pulling her into him as he grinned into the kiss, chastely kissing her again before pulling back to kiss her forehead.

"I have to admit watching you slam that door and walk away was really hot." Xavier laughed as he spoke Y/n rolling her eyes playfully pushing him away.

"Lets get out of here, your shed is looking really comfy away from all these parents." Y/n grinned Xavier laughing and taking her hand as he pulled her along wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they bumped into each other playfully as they passed all their friends parents, Enid smiling at them as she listened to her mum continually rant on and on about her wolfing out.

Xavier pushed open the door Y/n using her powers to close it behind her as she grinned up at Xavier pulling him into a kiss as he grabbed at her body pulling her against him as he groaned into the kiss, Y/n grinning into the kiss as she felt his hand pull at her shirt before looking down at it oddly.

"She's picky." Y/n rolled her eyes Xavier huffing with a small pout as he ran his hands along it, before ripping the buttons off making Y/n giggle as the buttons flew around the room exposing her bra as Xavier smirked.

"Much better." He whispered leaning down to kiss along her neck as he palmed her breasts and sucking a dark mark on her collarbone enjoying how she raked her hands through his hair pressing her breasts into him one his hands moving to grasp her necklace as he looked at her.

"Think i need to get you some more jewellery for her to disapprove of." Y/n grinned pulling his hair as he groaned kissing him deeply walking him backwards until his back met the table, her hands rushing to undo his belt pushing her hand inside as he gasped into the kiss as her hand began stroking him her other hand on his cheek.

"I think i need to get you something to mark my property first." Y/n said with a grin as Xavier turned into putty in her hands, breathing harshly as Y/n sucked a mark onto his collarbone using her powers to undo his shirt and kiss her way down pulling his trousers with her as she looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, her hand still moving as she stared at him licking a stripe along his cock as he let out a shakey breath. His hands finding her hair as he pulled it into a ponytail as she sloppily licked the tip, purposefully making obscene noises as she smiled up at him watching his eyes on her as she opened her mouth and began bobbing on his cock his mouth flying open as he held her head bobbing her gently against him as she moaned the vibration making him choke on his spit as his eyes closed.

"Holy fuck Y/n." He whimpered out his eyes rolling slightly as she held his thighs digging her nails into his skin making him hiss in pleasure as she took him deeper pulling back slowly and sucking harshly on his tip his hips stuttering against her lips as his held fell back groaning loudly. Looking upwards she used her powers to drag his chin down to look at her as she pulled back kitten licking his tip as he couldn't look away before she widely grinned sinking back down and sucking obscenely making his hands shake in her hair as he tried to stop himself from thrusting into her warm mouth. One of her hands moving to his stomach and raking her nails up and down as she sucked his grip in her hair tightening as he stuttered out her name trying to pull her off.

"I'm gonna...fuck Y/n i'm gonna cum if you don't stop. Jesus christ fuck me." Xavier closed his eyes as his hips thrust into Y/n's mouth her tongue swirling around his tip as she loudly sucked making his eyes roll behind his closed eyes as he moaned her name cumming down her throat as Y/n pulled back, swallowing quickly as Xavier looked down with hooded eyes Y/n pulling away with a trail of drool as she licked along his cock cleaning him. Licking her lips before wiping her mouth with her finger seductively standing up and leaning against him, kissing his chest then neck then chin before placing a sloppy kiss on his mouth Xavier groaning into it. A grin on her face as she pulled back drawing patterns on his chest as he gripped the table trying to calm down again as she stared at him with blown eyes.

"You sound so pretty when i suck your dick." Xavier grinned pulling her into a kiss as he hiked up her skirt and ripping her tights as he pulled her thigh against his hip.

"Mhm, my turn." Y/n grinned as Xavier picked her up pushing her against the table as she laughed feeling his hands make their way to her underwear as he wiggled his eyebrows at her making her laugh louder as he kissed down her stomach.

"You're a dork." Y/n said as Xavier nipped at her waist teasing her as he pulled down her underwear.

"Your dork." Xavier smiled cheekily at her as she playfully rolled her eyes.

"My dork." Y/n grinned at him as he pulled down her underwear.

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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Sugar daddy fic (Some tags didn't work)

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#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #sugar daddy spencer #perv!spencer #mdm

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blindingdutchy · 3 years

Text

lamentation | TWO

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 3,495

warnings: depression, anxiety, mental illness! angst, fluff if you squint really hard

18+!!! minors stay away

Peter Parker was relentless, insufferable, and extremely annoying. It all started the morning after what you'd decided to call The Encounter, and it had been unending ever since. Nearly a week had passed since that fateful night, and you'd yet to see a day at school where Peter didn't try his hardest to get under your skin.

On Monday he sat next to you in Calculus, and no matter how blatantly you ignored him for the entire class, he continued to whisper facts about himself and stupid little jokes to you. You wished you could say you hadn't listened, but ever since that morning you'd been unable to forget that his favorite color was red, his Aunt packed him a lunch every day that he threw away because she couldn't cook, and his middle name was Benjamin. Why he thought you needed or even wanted to know such things you weren't sure, but even more befuddling was the fact that you couldn't un-learn them.

When Tuesday rolled around he stepped it up a notch, much to your dismay. He sat with you during Calculus and insisted on jogging with you during gym class, feigning that he was out of breath despite your slow pace and the fact that you were certain he could run for miles without getting winded. He told you more jokes then, too. One of which you begrudgingly found yourself exhaling a little harder over whenever it popped into your head; what did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn't know each other.

Wednesday was the worst, because Peter made a scene. You came into calculus late and the teacher scolded you in front of the class, at which point you got flustered and tripped over your untied shoe laces. Your books spilled to the floor and you tumbled to your knees in front of everyone, and the whole class laughed. But Peter? Peter just had to be the hero, and your blood boiled at his actions.

He'd dramatically swept all his books off of his desk, feigning surprise at the loud clatter as if he hadn't done it intentionally. When the teacher scolded him, too, he just apologized and made a show of picking up each of his things one by one. "Why did you do that?" you'd hissed as you sat down, scowling at the brown-eyed boy who just blinked at you innocently.

"Do what?"

He'd ran with you in gym class again, and he'd even followed you to your locker afterwards. In all the years you'd known of Peter, you had never known him to be much of a talker. In fact, he seemed like a rather shy boy who didn't like to branch out much. With you, though, that was far from the case. Silence was a pipe dream with him around.

On Thursday he sat next to you in Calculus, ran with you in gym, walked you to your locker, and went so far as to sit with you at lunch. You'd put your earbuds in and blasted music as loud as you could without hurting yourself too much, but every time you looked up you could see he was still talking. Part of you wondered why he was being so relentless, but you didn't want to ask. If you asked he would think you cared, and you didn't. You didn't care at all, and the sooner he figured that out, the sooner he would leave you alone.

Or, at least you hoped so. As you walked into school on Friday morning, you groaned at the sight of Peter waiting patiently beside your locker. "What do you want, Parker?" you gritted out, glaring at him as you twisted the dial to enter your combination.

He grinned in spite of your glare, "I'm walking you to Calculus today, obviously. How was your night, (Y/N)? Do anything fun?"

"What part of I don't need friends did you not understand?" you demanded, giving him a stale look as you swung the metal door open with a clang. Peter blinked at you, clearly not used to you actually speaking back to him, and further uncomfortable with your hostility. What did he expect? Did he expect for you to suddenly be happy? To not be completely fucked up anymore just because he started talking to you?

He replaced his lazy smile and shrugged, retorting, "You know my secret and I know yours. That makes us friends."

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to shout, yell, stomp your feet, and throw a tantrum fit for a child. Friends were not something you wanted or needed, and you certainly didn't want to be friends with Peter Parker. You didn't want to be friends with someone just because they were worried you'd spill their dirty little secret, or because they pitied the girl who wanted to die.

The black hole in your chest was worse than ever that day, and it sucked away all the fight you had in you. So, with a roll of your eyes, you stuffed your earbuds in your ears and tuned him out once more. Just like he had at lunch, Peter continued to ramble even though he knew you weren't listening, and you pretended you didn't see his lips moving at the speed of light.

For once, at the very least, he at least shut up in class. You were thankful for the break from his incessant chatter, the endless monologue you couldn't escape from when you were stuck in a desk while Mr. Tinley droned on and on. Calculus was far from interesting, but you found yourself beyond relieved to finally be able to pay any sort of attention to the lesson.

Friday was steadily continuing along the same path every other day had since The Encounter. Peter thankfully parted ways with you after Calculus, but quickly rejoined you two classes later in Gym. From Gym he was glued to your side through lunch until you escaped to your Spanish class, which you thankfully didn't share with him, but the solitude was short lived. Your last class of the day was one you also shared with Peter, and prior to that day he had remained seated with his friends.

That day, though, he plopped down in the seat beside you with a cheerful smile. "Ready for our new project?" he asked, skipping the greeting he knew you wouldn't return.

"Huh?" you asked, blinking at him in bewilderment. New project? Our? What was he talking about?

Peter beamed back at you, clearly pleased that you hadn't snapped at him for once. "Our new project! Didn't you see the list on the door? We're partners." he explained, and you stiffened.

It was too big of a coincidence to truly be happenstance. All week Peter had been pestering you, perpetually following you around and talking your ear off, and now he just happened to be assigned as your partner for the final Speech project? He did something. That was the only logical conclusion.

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at him with as much intensity as you could muster. "Peter, what did you do?" you growled.

Peter's eyes widened at your tone, and he shifted in his seat nervously with a sheepish smile. "What do you mean?" he questioned coyly, and you scowled at him fiercely. "I didn't do anything, (Y/N)."

"Bullshit." you snapped, "I find it hard to believe that we just happened to be assigned partners after how obsessively you've been harassing me all week."

He gaped at you, "Harassed? What?" he stammered, "(Y/N), let's calm down--I haven't... I haven't been harassing you. I just want you to know I really do want to be your friend."

You scoffed at his excuse, "Shut up, Peter. Just leave me alone! I don't want to be your friend, okay? My lips are sealed. I won't tell anyone your secret, just leave me alone!"

With one finally glare, you lurched out of your seat and stomped to one far away from the still aghast boy. As you settled into your new seat, ignoring the strange looks from your classmates who witnessed your outburst, you wrinkled your nose and picked at your nails angrily. As much as you were angry with Peter, you were also angry with yourself.

You were angry that he'd stopped you, and you'd let him. You were angry at the world for letting your sister die. You were angry at your sister for saving you when she should have saved herself. Most of all, though, you were angry with yourself for how you were acting. Even though she wasn't there, you could almost hear your sister scolding you for how you'd treated Peter.

She always was the levelheaded, rational sister. The good sister. The better sister. She would have been ashamed of how you'd been ignoring Peter, ranting to you, "He's just trying to be there for you, idiot. Stop being such a jerk and let him help you. You need to stop being so stubborn..."

You listened eagerly to Ms. Lovell's lesson and instruction for the new project. It wasn't because you were genuinely interested, because you weren't, but it was something to distract you. It was something to drown out the voice of your sister that was echoing through your skull, rattling you to your core as you tried to keep your emotions at bay.

This was the hardest part of losing your sister. She'd been so close to you, so important to you, it was impossible to not think of her in every moment of every day. It was impossible not to think of what she'd have done, instead of what you had done. It was impossible not to think of what she'd have thought of your actions, what she'd have said to you, of what she'd have wanted you to do.

She had been your voice of reason, your confidant, your role model. She'd always been so much better than you, someone you aspired to be like, and now that she was gone the comparisons were so much heavier on your head. Why couldn't it have been you instead of her? She would never have had such a hard time like you were.

For instance, she wouldn't have been so bitter. She wouldn't have been so filled with rage, hatred, or despair. She wouldn't have blamed anyone, not even herself, and she wouldn't have hated the people who had killed you. She always did love a good superhero, and even if you'd have died at the hands of the Avengers like she had, she would have found a reason to still have faith in them. She would have forgiven them.

This project was going to be a tough one, and not just because you were going to have to work with Peter Parker. "This is going to be a persuasive speech, guys, so you're able to pick your stance freely so long as it pertains to the Avengers. For example, you could persuade us that they're bad, if that's how you feel." Ms. Lovell explained, "Just be prepared to face debate from the class. Each group has to face five full minutes of argument from the class and be able to firmly debate their stance."

A project in which you'd have to argue your stance pertaining to the superheroes that had killed your sister, and you were working with Peter-Spiderman-Parker. Great, you thought to yourself, this was going to be a nightmare. There was no way the two of you would agree on what stance to persuade; you hated superheroes, and he was one, for God's sake.

You glanced over at Peter, only to catch him already staring at you. The pair of you quickly looked away from each other, but you noticed the way his cheeks flared red in embarrassment. How long had he been watching you? Was he dreading the project now as much as you were?

He probably didn't know how you felt about the Avengers. Not many people really cared enough to read about what had happened to your sister, and you weren't exactly in the right state of mind to be out protesting the many shortcomings of the superheroes. You wondered, though, how he would react when he found out.

Lying was an option, but there was no way you'd be able to debate in favor of the Avengers without breaking. Could you debate against them without losing it either, though? You weren't entirely sure. It was a sore subject and you were certainly not looking forward to having to dedicate your time to speaking about them.

Peter lingered by his seat after class was dismissed, staring at you awkwardly as he told his friends he would catch up with them later. You could see the strange, weary looks they shot you, but you chose to ignore them. Everyone looked at you a little funny ever since the incident, and you'd long ago grown accustomed to it. This time, though, you couldn't help but think they were looking at you strangely for a reason other than your sister.

You had two options. You could suck it up and talk to Peter right then, or you could continue to ignore him until you were forced to do the project. Catching his warm brown eyes as he timidly watched you, you sighed. It was now or never; maybe if you were nicer he'd back off a little with the obsessive tendencies.

"So," you drawled, approaching him shyly, "how are we gonna do this?"

This was what she would have wanted you to do; that's what you chanted in your head as you forced yourself to at least seem somewhat approachable. "Uh, we could--we could meet up tomorrow? You could come to my apartment." he stuttered, scratching his neck awkwardly and fiddling with his backpack.

He radiated nervous energy, and the black hole inside of you consumed it greedily. You twiddled your thumbs just as nervously as you replied, "Do you, um, do you mind coming to my house instead? My parents are--they're a little weird about me going out because of... yeah."

God, his stutter was rubbing off on you, and you cringed at the way you stumbled over your words like a fool. It had been such a long time since you'd invited anyone to your house, let alone talked to anyone besides your parents and your therapist, and it was stressing you out. The exhaustion of the day was wearing you down rapidly, and having to socialize was making it worse.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course!" he spluttered, "Uh, could I get your number? So I can, like, text you when I'm coming?"

You hoped he didn't notice how much your fingers were shaking as you took his phone, struggling to type in your number as you mistyped multiple times. Once you'd saved your contact into his phone, you sent yourself a text so that you'd have his number too. You didn't exactly answer unknown numbers anymore, though if you were honest, you often didn't answer people you knew either. That was what drove your friends away.

Peter shot you a shy smile as you handed his phone back, and he asked, "Do you want to get started tonight, maybe? I could call you."

Biting your cheek, you paled. Tonight? You were exhausted, and the thought of having to talk for any longer made you nauseous. "No offense, Peter, but I... I really just need a break. This week has been a lot." you mumbled, avoiding his eyes as you stared at your feet.

"Oh, yeah, totally." he acquiesced, "I'll, uh, I'll see you tomorrow."

You didn't reply, only giving him a tight lipped smile that probably looked more like a grimace as you quickly walked away. Once you were out of his sight, your entire body drooped and the numbness steadily washed over you. It had been the longest day, and you were once again grateful for the escape from the overwhelming emotions.

Ever since she died, it was as if all your emotions were on overdrive. There were the many constant ones, like the guilt, shame, and anguish over her death. Along with those were more fleeting ones, like anger, disgust, and fear. Peter, though, he brought about a whole slew of new and equally as intense feelings that drained you.

He made you feel things like anxiety, apprehension, and hope. There was anxiety both due to his wild behavior in regards to you, but also because you feared he might tell people what he'd seen. The apprehension was due to your suspicion he was only so interested because you knew his secret, and was just as fearful that you would tell. But the hope, the stupid anticipation, was the worst.

It was the worst because a stupid part of you hoped he was genuine. You wanted him to really want to be your friend with no ulterior motives because, no matter how much you denied it, you really did need a friend. You wanted a friend. You wanted to let someone in.

You weren't buying it, though, because you were certain you couldn't handle the heartbreak of being wrong about his intentions and discovering he really did only care about his secret. You weren't going to let him hurt you, and if you had to shut yourself off from the world and hurt yourself to prevent it, then so be it. It was easier that way.

Peter Parker: hey i know you said you didn't want to start tonight but that doesn't mean we can't get to know each other

Peter Parker: so if you want, lets play 20 questions! i'll start. what's your favorite movie?

The typing cursor blinked at you tauntingly as you laid on your bed, huddled under the blankets with your thumbs hovering over the keys. That stupid part of you that wanted to make your sister proud begged you to go along with it, to let him be a friend, but you were terrified. You were terrified of the way you actually opened the text and went to reply without hesitation, something you hadn't done since before the incident. You were terrified of the way you wanted to reply, but the only thing that gave you pause was the fact that you didn't have an answer.

Movies weren't something you'd given much thought to in awhile. You knew all of your sister's favorite movies by heart, but your favorite movie? It was as if your brain opened an empty drawer. You didn't know what your favorite movie was.

You: i don't know

Peter Parker: what do you mean you don't know

Peter Parker: do you not like movies?!

You: i just don't know okay

You: i can't remember the last time i watched a movie.

That was a lie. You very well could remember the last time you'd watched a movie, and that was because it was with her. The weekend before she'd died, your sister had dragged you to the theater to watch some cheesy romance film she'd been gushing about for weeks. It was awful, but it was so utterly her that you'd weirdly enjoyed it. You enjoyed it because it made her happy.

Peter Parker: that's crazy wow

Peter Parker: no offense sorry

Peter Parker: it's your turn to ask

You: what's your favorite movie

Peter Parker: star wars but you can't ask the same question!! try again

You: fine

You: what's your favorite food?

Was talking to boys always this hard? You couldn't remember the last time you'd had to get to know someone, but you didn't think it had ever been so nerve wracking. Was something wrong with you? Was everything destined to be this hard now that she was gone?

Peter Parker: anything from Delmar's

Peter Parker: best sandwiches in Queens

Peter Parker: since you got a double and you technically didn't answer my first question, i'm asking you the same but also what's your happiest memory

Everything was always going to be hard. Reading his response, your lungs deflated in your chest and the numbness gave way to the all too familiar sensation of despair. She'd always loved Delmar's, insisting on getting the same sandwich from there every single Friday after school, and it had been your thing.

Would there ever be anything that didn't remind you of her? Remind you of the hole punched in your life where she used to be? It was hard enough dealing with the empty space in your room where her bed used to be, the empty chair at the dinner table where she'd used to sit, all the empty spaces she'd used to fill up. But the little things--the little memories of things she'd used to love--those hurt so much more.

You: i have to go

You: i forgot i'm busy tomorrow so we can't start the project

You: i'm sorry

SERIES TAG-LIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton

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espresseo-cafe · 4 years

Text

i like you, jerk | johnny | oneshot

coffee type: syrup

pairing: johnny x reader

bean count: 1.1k

a/n: ahhh another update after a week off 🙈 so i decided to go for a fluff hahah. enjoy your coffee break 📖☕️

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the people around johnny questioned him about his friendship with you- someone who was quiet, blunt with facts, yet had a resting face wherever you looked. even though you had that reputation, johnny knew you since grade school like a book; page to page.

he knew that the squad called you wednesday addams at some point, and he laughed at the accuracy it held. it was proven one time when a girl in a lecture complained about how hot it was despite the weather being in winter, and you answered to control her lower part instead- she was known to be a little ‘too friendly’ to guys. and the people who heard it went home with pained stomachs from laughing too hard.

he also knew that yuta called you a tsundere, which he totally agreed on because he had his fair shares of anime watching himself. though there was one thing he didn’t know- for someone who had a tough exterior, just who did you like?

“you like johnny!?” yuju smiled as her puppy eyes slowly turning into a curve. she loved what she found out when she heard you accidentally mentioned your crush. “this is surreal!”

“you mean ‘suh’real!” chungha covered her face with her hands, cringing with her intended pun. “i’ve been to the dj radio club when he and jae asked me to talk about my experience at the world of dance contest in the states, and i tell you y/n..” she drinked on her soju, “johnny suh’s a charmer. i understand why you like him.”

“don’t let doyoung hear that or else he be throwing fists at the guy.” yuju picked on her nails, knowing the fact that doyoung was a protective boyfriend of chungha. “or if he really had the guts to.”

your nose scrunched and you let out a snicker at yuju’s very obvious remark on doyoung. she wasn’t lying though, that boy could go lengths to be with chungha. he did out of love and it was hilarious.

johnny caught sight of your smiling expression a few tables away from where he was sitting. jaehyun and doyoung exchanged looks, knowing very well that their friend was curious on that rare emotion you emitted. “she’s only like that with your girlfriend and yuju.”

“i sense jealousy.” doyoung gave an evilish grin.

johnny flared his nose at the assumption, “ironic, doie.” shifting his gaze away from you. “i’ve known y/n since we were nine, and i’ve never seen her smile so wide like that.”

“maybe she’s really like that with her friends.” jaehyun played with his straw in his peach milkshake, “just not you.”

“ditto, she’s blunt to us. but mostly you.” doyoung chewed on his kimbap before taking what he said back, “actually just you. she treated us ice-cream last week.”

johnny let out a gasp and changed his expression, “not fair. you guys only met her this year.”

“and it only took us this year to figure out that you’re head over heels for your long time friend.” jaehyun stretched his arms, “you’re too hyper and open that it makes you so transparent.”

johnny stayed quiet, wishing he closed his ears before hearing that. he did like you since middle school, and telling you about his feelings would only embarrass him due to your straightforwardness. on the inside, he was dying to know who was able to melt that stone cold heart of yours.

he made his way to the dj radio club after lunch when you stood by the door, “y/n, why are you here?”

“waiting for someone.” you tapped on your phone, liking several tweets on twitter. “aren’t you opening the door yet?”

johnny pulled a face, finally figuring out your intentions, the keys jingling in his pocket. “you know, eversince jae joined the club, you’re always here.”

your brow raised as you looked at him, “hm, you’re reading the lines very well. i could say the same that you stop by choir practices to watch the campus’ songbird to sing.”

johnny didn’t listen to the latter part, and he wished he closed his ears again at what you just said. the guy who melted your heart was jaehyun, his best friend. true, he had the looks, musicality, sportmanship, and height. who wouldn’t fall in love with an ideal guy of the campus?

and to think that jaehyun’s birthday and valentine’s day was today, he spotted a box you had in hand. “i can help you pass the message to jae, also the gift.”

you placed the gift close to your chest, your cheek flushed. “it’s ok. i’ll do it myself.”

“come on, y/n. the live broadcast will start in five. you can’t be here.” he said quite teasingly and attempted to take the box from you. the little tug of war on the little box went on for a minute and you two looked like when you were grade school years ago; arguing for the last box of malteasers.

“y/n, come on, jae and the professor will be here in any minute and you’ll-”

“it’s for you.” you finally let go of the box, your eyes avoiding his pretty brown eyes staring shockingly at your sudden confession.

“f-for me?” he asked stupidly even though it was loud and clear for him, the dj room being soundproof and all. “i thought it was for-”

“i like you, jerk.” you tugged a strand behind your ear, later swallowing your saliva disgustingly to re-hydrate yourself from fainting in front of the boy you liked very much.

thank goodness for a soundproof room and that he didn’t think to close his ears once again. johnny could hear his heartbeat go wild, and he could see himself turning red through the reflection of the glass window. the guy who melted your heart not jaehyun, but him. that realization alone made him smile so wide that he leaped forward and gave you a hug, mainly to cover his happiness that he failed to contain. too late though, you already saw it coming.

“i like you too, princess.”

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fightmechimchim · 5 years

Text

Your First Kiss - BTS Scenarios

Kim Namjoon:

So far the night has been perfect. Namjoon and you went out for your fourth date; a late night picnic by the river followed by a walk around the area talking into the night. Neither one of you wanted to separate just yet so when your house appeared at the end of the road you pulled on his arm leading him away. Namjoon too walked slower, stopping in the middle of the pathway to point out something completely random.

You leaned into Namjoon’s side reaching to take his hand into your own. He smiled down at you adjusting his hand in yours so your fingers fit perfectly with his.

‘’Y/n, umh this has been very nice so far.’’ Namjoon said, a shy smiled pulling at his lips. You looked at him, his cheeks were flushed and he was avoiding your eyes looking to the sides of the road.

You noticed a pattern by now, every time you got to the end of your date Namjoon would suddenly turn shy, like a flower closing in on itself, you never guessed why.

‘’It was very nice indeed, I can’t wait for next Wednesday I’m sure you’ll like what I have planned.’’ You chirped absentmindedly bringing your joined hands to your chest.

Namjoon stopped in the middle of the road causing you to stumble in your step. You looked at him and the way his gaze fixated on his hand intertwined with yours resting in the middle of your chest. You looked down at your hands, a sudden heat tingling your back as you realised just how closely you kept his hand trapped to yourself.

You looked back at him. His lips were slightly parted and if you were to lean closer you could hear his soft breaths and if you leaned your head on his chest you could hear the racing beat of his heart. Maybe it was the way his eyes seemed glazed over with thoughts you’ll never hear or maybe it was the simplicity of his being making your entire body flare up with remedying light, like the first shine of the sun appearing from behind dark clouds of a storm reassuring you that everything will be okay, or maybe it was both, maybe something else entirely, but all of it made you aware how badly you wanted him, needed him to touch you, hold you and speak nothing and everything as long as you got to hear him.

You didn’t feel your feet lifting off the ground, you didn’t hear the world around you, the only thing in focus was him and his hand slipping around you waist closing the aching space between you. Then there was the warmth of his skin, the scent of him filling every edge of your brain and then there was one last gasp of breath heard somewhere in the back of your mind as you crashed your lips into his surrendering yourself to the complete bliss that shook your world like a supernova. You kissed him and you knew that you couldn’t say goodbye to this night, not when his hand pressed into your back supporting your body as he deepened the kiss as if there were miles between your lips and his he was desperate to close, not when he pulled your hand that was still intertwined with his to press into his own chest instead of yours.

Kim Seokjin:

‘’We’ve barely been in a relationship for three days and you’re already breaking up with me?’’ You asked crossing your arms over your chest as you stared down at your boyfriend who was plastered to his bed.

‘’Well I’m sorry, what do you want me to say?’’ Seokjin argued huffing as he rolled on his back so he could look at you.

‘’That you’re not breaking up with me because I lost at Mario Kart?’’ You asked poking his forehead.

‘’My finger slipped, S-L-I-P-P-E-D.’’ You exclaimed exasperated. You guessed that this is what you get when you start dating your best friend. Seokjin wrapped his fingers around your wrist pulling you onto the bed. You laid down beside him pulling at his arm to use it as a pillow.

‘’My girlfriend is so bad at gaming, how did this happen to me?’’ Seokjin fake cried into the mattress of the bed. You rolled your eyes pinching his arm lightly. He looked at you and began to laugh.

‘’What now?’’ You asked incredulously.

‘’You’re adorable,’’ Seokjin said softly. You stuck your tongue out at him and rolled on your side to face away from him.

‘’Hey don’t do that,’’ Your boyfriend whined as he wrapped his arm around your waist trying to pull you back to face him.

‘’Y/n’’ Seokjin said your name as a final warning, and before you knew it you were flipped onto your back with Seokjin hovering over you straddling your legs.

‘’Don’t ignore me.’’ He pouted.

‘’Don’t threaten to break up with me.’’ You retorted. Seokjin laughed falling on top of you, burying his face into your neck.

‘’I could never do that. Now that I have you I will never let you go.’’ He spoke softly letting his lips brush against your neck. Your entire body seemed to shake with shivers running down every inch of your skin.

Seokjin brought his face up to look at you.

‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked looking into your eyes, and god did his gaze do things to you. Your chest tightened and your heart strained against your ribcage.

‘’Kiss me.’’ You said.

And so he did, without hesitation or a second thought. He kissed you and it was everything and more.

Your entire body went into sensory overload, you could feel every touch of his. The way his hand sneaked to the back of your head to lift your face closer to his, the way his fingertips danced at the edges of your waist. You could feel every inch of his mouth exploring your own, you could feel the goose-bumps on the back of his neck that your own fingers brushed against but most importantly you could feel the complete and utter love and sincerity that he brought into the kiss, the promise and the passion, the unquestionable surrender to your heart. You were happy to respond with just as much love, with your own promises and your own surrender.

Once you pulled away, cursing the air for being a necessity, you looked up at the man gazing down at you.

‘’I’m definitely not letting you go.’’ He smiled through a shuddering breath of his words.

‘’Don’t worry, I won’t let you.’’ You laughed reaching to pull him back in.

Min Yoongi:

The concept of time has become non-existent to you, you couldn’t tell when the day began and when it ended. The only thing occupying your head was the wide framed canvas begging constant attention from your paint brushes and the mix of colours not only decorating every inch of your workspace but your hands and clothes too. It was a tough project, but it had to be done and it had to be done well.

And of course, Yoongi understood that, more than anyone else. He understood that important work demanded a lot of your time and effort, however, he also knew that important work should not be prioritised before your health. That’s exactly what had him worried, the fact that you didn’t seem to take as much care of yourself as he wanted you to.

You’ve been friends for quite some time, you were both keenly aware of the fact that your friendship meant something more to the both of you. There were things keeping you apart, things that you couldn’t pinpoint but still prevented you from being together. That was the inspiration for your art piece, you doubted anyone would be able to tell unless they were you, felt what you felt and thought as you did. Caught up in your work you ignored the strain in your wrist and the ache in your back…the ringing of your phone too. You just kept going.

After what felt like an eternity of the same declining sound of your phone Yoongi decided to go and see you. He didn’t hesitate to step into your apartment, he only stalled to wonder if it’s his job to do this. He’s not your boyfriend after all. But he is your friend and that’s what friends do.

Yoongi creept into your room, stopping when he finally reached you where you slept with your knees drawn to your chest and your head resting on your arms that you hugged yourself with. You looked so peaceful even if the disarray of colours staining your cheeks and your under nails spoke chaos.

Yoongi glimpsed at the canvas. He couldn’t recognise the feeling that rushed over his heart. There were quite a few songs in his life that managed to capture exactly what he felt, what he thought, it seemed strange for feelings to have sound, and now looking at the work of your heart painted so beautifully upon the canvas he felt like that again, this was your own song and he could hear it in the colours and the detail and the strokes that the canvas contained.

He leaned down to look at you, just to look at you. He couldn’t wait anymore, he didn’t want to. He leaned closer and then he paused as your eyes peeled open with an obvious struggle. Yoongi smiled as a look of confusion washed over your face before it shifted into a smile similar to his.

‘’Can I kiss you?’’ Yoongi asked in a helpless whisper. You only nodded in response as you untangled yourself from your chair and sunk into his lap, finally surrendering yourself to your feelings and letting go of unknown fears.

Yoongi held you, bringing you closer with every gasp that echoed through the room, savouring the taste of you and the feeling of you in his arms. Just like in the painting.

When you finally parted, taking in the air your lungs craved but wish it didn’t for breathing felt like wasted time keeping you from kissing him forever, you knew that this was more beautiful than anything you could ever paint and more real and magical than anything he could ever write.

Jung Hoseok:

‘’And so I said to her that no I don’t work here so there is absolutely nothing I can do for you even if I wanted to, but obviously I didn’t want to do anything for her considering her attitude,’’ You huffed and yelled pacing around his room while your boyfriend sat on the edge of his bed with his elbows on his knees trying his best to pay attention to everything you were saying. Which was an effort really considering how fast you were talking.

He also tried his best to keep the smile threatening to spill locked inside. He was fully aware that you were frustrated with what happened to you today but you were also so completely adorable stomping around the place with your eyes blown out in disbelief that Hoseok had to initially cover his mouth with his hand, his smile becoming too much of an effort to hide.

‘’She was so rude Hoseok like really I lost count of how many times I had to tell her I don’t work there.’’ You exclaimed falling onto the bed next to him. You crossed your arms against your chest biting your lip.

Hoseok looked to your side willing himself not to smile. He poked at your lip with his finger to get you to stop biting it.

‘’I’m sorry you had to deal with that love.’’ He tried to console you rubbing at your hands. You leaned on his shoulder playing with his fingers. Hoseok smiled at how gently you held his hands, unlike the force you used to throw the pillow at the wall earlier on.

‘’I just don’t understand why people are like this you know,’’ You began again and Hoseok suppressed a laugh as you let go of his hands and stood up to pace again.

‘’Does it really hurt them to be nice, it’s not that hard and-‘’ Whatever you were about to say next was lost in the void with no chance of return.

The only thing that occupied your head right now was static energy electrifying every single corner of your brain while your legs trembled and your heart drummed wildly against your ribs.

And there was also Hoseok, who in a moment of unexplainable surge of adoration leapt from his bed and taking your face in between his hands kissed you hard enough that every bit of anger and annoyance got replaced with a warm glee that cascaded down your body as if you’ve been submerged under a twenty-foot wave of pure affection.

As his lips parted from yours and Hoseok let his hands fall from your face to his sides, you just stared at him, his flushed face, glazed eyes and the trembling smile that didn’t seem to know whether it wanted to laugh or cry. Hoseok did not expect your first kiss to go quite like this, but now that it happened he was speechless.

‘’Woah-umh-ah-I-I…hah.’’ Hoseok stuttered as he stood still not quite daring to look at you. You stepped closer to him so your bodies touched. You took his hands in yours and guided them back to your face. Hoseok watched you lead him and listened to you when you whispered ‘Come here’ letting his lips meet yours again.

Park Jimin:

You were cleaning the table after your breakfast with Jimin, humming as you did so. You swiped away the crumbs and placed the dishes in the sink, you could wash them later. You kept humming voicing the few words you knew to the song out loud.

Jimin after washing up quickly made his way back to the kitchen where he saw you smiling to yourself while your feet shuffled on the cold floor and your hands moved about cleaning the space. The entire scene was too domestic and lovely for Jimin, he couldn’t help the small smile that pulled on his lips or prevent the crimson heat that bloomed on his cheeks.

He watched you move about just for a bit more, appreciating the sight in front of him with his whole heart, then he moved to your side slipping his arms around your waist. You startled but not a second later you relaxed into his comforting touch.

This was the first time for Jimin to spend an entire night at your place, your relationship was fairly new, neither of you ever felt the need to rush things. Rushing felt like a crime, especially when you wanted every single moment with him to last forever.

You turned around to face Jimin, an army of butterflies fluttered inside your chest and your ears burned with a sort of embarrassment. Being so close to Jimin was never a problem, but the way he looked at you and the way he held you, the very air in between you froze with heat. His eyes so bright and full of love spoke every promise of a happy future and his hands resting on your back swore to protect everything that made you.

Lost in the moment, in him, you didn’t feel your head move to closer to his, you didn’t notice the decreasing distance between your lips not until the very touch of them melted your bones. Even with your eyes closed, light shone in every corner of the dissipating darkness.

It was soft and beautiful and gentle and patient and it made everything around you a distant blur.

Jimin pulled away, his lips were still parted and his breath shuddered as he breathed in. His eyes were hazy and his cheeks were red. But it was there, somewhere on his face, he found the confirmation he wanted.

You woke from your own daydream, because that’s what it felt like, a daydream. The ones where you’re pulled out of with a shout from reality and even when your body heats with embarrassment your heart cannot feel an ounce of guilt for the pleasure that your dream has brought you. Except for this reality, with Jimin, was a dream unlike any other.

You laughed unable to hide the happiness. Jimin smiled broadly after licking his lips, his eyes hid for a moment as he tried to get himself to focus on you and tell you he loved you, but the words could not come out, he could not stop smiling.

‘’I know Jimin. I love you too.’’ You said, and as you told him what he could never tire of hearing his eyes sparked with a different flame. Desire. Passion. Love.

And so you didn’t falter when Jimin reached to cup your face and pull you back against him. You didn’t pull away as your lips danced with the fire in your hearts, and you didn’t stumble when Jimin led you to your room.

Kim Taehyung:

Walking to the nearest convenience store to buy some ramen after confessing your love to your long-time crush who immediately asked you to be his might not be the most romantic thing you could have done, but considering it’s one in the morning true romantic adventures will have to wait.

‘’The weather is nice, isn’t it? it’s perfect, you’re perfect, this is great, yes.’’ You exclaimed making Taehyung laugh.

‘’Y/n are you nervous?’’ Taehyung asked as he sat down on the ground pulling your hand to get you to sit down next to him.

‘’I’m not nervous, I’m just uh well you know.’’ You waved your hands in the air as if you could spell your feelings there.

The truth was, you were beyond nervous. You really didn’t plan anything since you thought your feelings will be rejected. Your fears and insecurities didn’t permit you to see that Taehyung’s love for you has been there since the day you met.

Taehyung watched you grow silent as you slipped away into undesired thoughts, after another unbearable moment of silence he took both of your hands into his and brought them close enough to his mouth to kiss them.

‘’You don’t have to be nervous around me and you don’t have to worry, because I care about you, and I trust us to be good to each other. If anything troubles you, you can depend on me okay?’’ He spoke softly into your hands using his thumbs to rub soothing circles into your skin. You knew he meant everything he said, it was in his eyes and his voice, it was in the way he brushed his lips against you knuckles not quite kissing them telling you that you don’t have to worry being with him. And that was enough to comfort your heart.

Once you smiled, Taehyung didn’t hesitate to dig into the food and feed it to you. The atmosphere and the weight in your chest eased immediately and you found yourself laughing out loud along with Taehyung. After your late night snack, both of you decided to wander around arms encircled around each other’s waists.

‘’Mhm my lips taste sweet.’’ You said licking your lips. Taehyung stopped to look at you and with a fleeting moment of hesitance that he dropped as soon as it came he leaned in to kiss you, though it wasn’t much of a kiss, just a simple peck, it was enough to glue to the ground. You were tempted to check your pulse, see if it’s there.

‘’Mhm yes they are sweet.’’ He spoke as if in serious consideration, the only indication of his true feelings was hidden behind his scarf where his neck burned with deep red. He looked at you, the way you pressed your fingertips to your lips, the way your eyes turned to a night sky drowning in stars.

‘’What?’’ Taehyung looked at you, waiting for you to say something but what he got instead was your arms gripping at his jacket as you closed the space between you.

You felt Taehyung fight against the smile surging to his face, he wanted to kiss you properly, wanted to fulfil the daydream he’s been chasing since the day he met you. You sneaked your hands around his neck pulling him even closer to which he did not protest. Taehyung held your waist keeping you locked to him as his other hand travelled from your neck to rest against your cheek as every bit of contained passion seeped into the long-awaited kiss. It was music and art and worlds colliding. You pulled away long enough to breathe and before either of you could manage a smile Taehyung pressed his lips to yours once more, you didn’t even bother thinking there was anything else you could do except hold him closer in this moment.

Jeon Jungkook:

You were waiting with Jungkook before his solo performance, watching him get attended by stylists and performance directors giving him last minute pointers. Jungkook caught your eye and winked before pushing through the crowded room to get to you.

‘’How do you feel?’’ You asked him, unconsciously fixing the jacket around his shoulders. He smiled at you taking your hand into his, playing with your fingers.

‘’Excited, a little nervous but mostly excited.’’ He said, smiling broadly compelling you to grin as well.

‘’Good I’m happy for you, I know you’ll do great,’’ You encouraged him. Jungkook leaned in to kiss your forehead letting his lips rest against your skin for a bit longer than usual. When he pulled away he avoided your gaze, only looking off to the side.

You followed his stare, there was nothing much to see except a black gap in the curtains where people came and went, and beyond that thousands of cheering fans awaiting him. You looked back at Jungkook, he was teasing his lips between his teeth, biting hard enough for the soft pink skin to turn white.

‘’Hey, hey,’’ You said calling his attention. He looked at you with bright eyes, the innocent kind that screamed of youth and freedom. You poked his lip making him stop biting at it.

‘’Army are here to support you and cheer for you, there’s nothing you can do that’ll disappoint them.’’ You reassured him. Jungkook looked thoughtful for a few seconds.

‘’But what if I make a mistake?’’ He asked finally.

‘’Then you’ll move on and continue giving the best performance you can, your fans don’t frown when you make a mistake they only cheer harder to tell you it’s okay. They’re here to help you live your dream because you’re fulfilling theirs no matter what you do.’’ Jungkook knew you were right. He bit his lip again unknowingly making you poke him again.

‘’Stop biting your lips, find a better a habit.’’ You scolded him teasingly.

‘’Oh yeah?’’ Jungkook lifted his eyebrows. ‘’Like what?’’ He asked getting closer.

Whatever the sounds around you were ceased to matter, whatever it was you were saying got buried under a heavy blanket of snow and whether your heart was still hidden inside your chest you didn’t know because the only thing that was bright and clear was the feeling of Jungkook’s lips pressing into your own. Gently and unmoving as if one wrong move could blow you away from him like delicate flower petals torn away by the uncompromising wind. And when your heart began to demand your brain to function and kiss him back was when he pulled away.

Jungkook looked at you smiling lightly as he reached to cup your face. He wasn’t sure whether to appreciate or worry about your shocked expression.

‘’Do it again.’’ You mumbled hoping it was coherent.

‘’Again?’’ Jungkook asked biting his lip, to keep the sheepish grin at bay.

‘’Yes, if this is your new habit you must do it more than once?’’ You spoke all too fast making Jungkook laugh. He hummed before leaning in close to you so your foreheads rested against each other. With one last smile, he leaned in. Your heart soared at the soft brush of his lips but a shrill damned voice chased them away.

‘’Jungkook you’re needed now.’’ His manager awkwardly pointed at the stage. Jungkook sighed flashing you a grin, with a chaste kiss on your forehead and dark pink creeping up his neck, he walked away. You licked your lips, biting them discretely.

‘’Better be a long-lasting habit.’’ You murmured as you listened to the cheers of Army invite him on stage.

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canumoveurseatup-no · 5 years

Text

Call of the Void

Summary: you’re the rock star heartbreaker but Clint wants to change that and it took him a long time to do so, he finally introduces you to the team and come to find a certain speedster can’t help but be head over heels for you.

WC: 10.7k (this was 30 pages omg)

Pairing: Husband!Clint x Black!HexGirl!Reader x Sub!Boyfriend!Pietro

Warnings: This is based off EG Clint but everyone is alive. There’s smut so this is of course 18+, spirituality, finger in the bum, squirting, listening to people have sex, like one mention of suicide

A/N: i dunno if the hex girl au has been done and if it has i doubt there’s a black version so i’m glad i came up with this idea and ran with it. please comment and reblog!! SHOUT OUT TO @noire-griot FOR MAKING MY LOVELY MOOD BOARD!!

————

“Who’s the babe over there with all the tats?,” Clint looked over to one of his buds as he drank a beer and scanned the room, eyes stopping on you.

“Oh that’s Y/N... they call her Thorn. She’s the lead singer and bad ass guitarist of that new band, used to be called Hex Girls but changed it to ‘Call of the Void’” his friend took a swig if his beer and shrugged his shoulders, “I’d stay away from her though, she’s trouble, man. Absolute heartbreaker,”

Clint watched the chains on our pants swing back and forth as you danced with your band mates. He watched the way your faux locs swished like an ocean as you threw your head back in laughter. You were right up his alley, music artist with wonderful taste, bad ass tattoos and killer style. He wanted you.

“Mm,” Clint shrugged as well, “I can change that,”

“Clint, they don’t call her Thorn for nothing. She’ll stick her thorns on ya and leave ya bleeding out while she watches in enjoyment,”

“Maybe you should have been a fuckin’ poet rather than a drummer,”

“Eh, I do slam poetry on Wednesday’s,”

“Whatever, man. I’m gonna go talk to her,”

Clint’s friend said something that he couldn’t quite catch because he was already more than ten feet away in no time, the music was screaming through the dark room and you were screaming right along with your bandmates in each other’s faces.

“‘Scuse me,” Clint said into your ear. Usually you ignore guys who come up to you but someone about his voice intrigued you. You turned your head and your brows raise in interest as your eyes scan him up and down.

“Excuse you is right considering you were interrupting some fun,” Your voice was like velvet and it wrapped him in a tight embrace, “But I’ll allow it this once for a fan,”

He didn’t want to correct you, he’d actually never heard a single song, but he’d make sure to after tonight.

“Just wanted to let a little lady like you know you look good,”

You kinda just chuckled at him, “Not that little. Don’t get too much dip on ya chip, might break,” you tum back to your friends to continue your night of fun

“Guess I’ll just have to get another chip then,”

His voice made you freeze and slowly turn back to him, arms crossed and tattoos bold against your skin, “Persistent fella,”

“A woman like you only shows up once in every blue moon, gotta cease my chance,”

Your Tripp pants fell on your hips nicely and just under your cropped band tee, he could see the outline of a snake come up the side of your ribcage to under your boob.

“And men like you come and go just as the tide does, what makes you think I’m not gonna ride this wave out and throw you out like an old surfboard when I’m done like the rest?,”

Clint loves your attitude. He could tell you didn’t take any shit and that only made him want you more, “Not a regular ‘ole ripple like you’re used to, Thorn,”

You could smell his cologne as he stepped closer, it took everything you had in you to not close your eyes and bask in his scent. You watched him lick his lips and raise a brow at you. You liked this one, you could keep him around for a bit.

“Then what are ya?,”

“More like record breaking tsunami. Lasting effects, hard to forget something like me,”

With your Demonia Trinity’s, you stood at perfect eye level with him, he wasn’t giving up and while most of them usually don’t, this one was different. He had spunk to him.

“Hey, Tove,” you call over your shoulder to your bandmate. Sweet girl with fast fingers when it came to the keyboard and synth.

“Yeah?,”

“Lock up when you guys get home, don’t think I’ll be back tonight,”

———

A few foiled packets hit Clint in the chest and he looked down at them, shrugged before tearing one open and rolling it down on himself. He’s probably the first to not complain about having to wrap it up before he tapped it up.

You heard him let out a slow deep breath as he pushed into you slowly. He was boning a rockstar, someone of his caliber, he definitely made sure to show out so you’d be the one coming back for more.

You ran your hand up his tattooed sleeve until he pinned your hands above your head with one of his, “Can I choke you? Wanna feel your pulse pounding against my fingertips,”

“Holy shit, please,”

Usually it was you who did the turning out but now you were the one being turned out, you hated being out of control but here you were, legs busted wide open with a hand right around your throat. This man was something else.

Hard staccatoed thrusts are fucked into you and your body can’t help but fall subject to him. Seeing you now, under him, you were a completely different person. Out in the open you’re a badass sadist but here you are a submissive good girl.

“Not so tough are you now, huh?,” Clint was practically hate fucking you and that’s all you needed. You didn’t know you needed it until it was happening, “Wanted to be a bitch at the party but look at you now. You’re my bitch,”

“Oh fuck, yes,” normally you did the bitch calling, but dammit was Clint putting it down. You couldn’t help but be putty in his hands, “Harder. Need it harder,”

He fucked you until you broke free of his thigh grip and tapped out. He pulled out of your throbbing pussy as you wiped your tears trying to catch your breath.

“What are you doing to me?,” you cover your face and laugh.

“I told you I’m not those little ripples you fucked with before and I meant that. You wanted to ride the tsunami so now you get to drown,”

His finger pushed into your soaking pussy and your wetness was absolutely obscene. Your eyes rolled into your head and he hadn’t even started moving yet. He might as well had been drowning you, it was getting hard to breathe as another wave crashed down you, bringing you to yet another orgasm.

“I need you. I need you so fucking bad,”

His hands gripped your hips fighting before he sunk back deep into you, your back arching off the bed and toes curling into the covers. His lips never left your body. Lips wrapped around your brown nipples and sucked until he decided to move to your neck, biting and making sure you would feel him for a few days after.

“You know what I’m gonna do?,” he whispered in your ear

“Cum for me?,”

“Gonna cum hard for you and leave you to stew with your thoughts for days to come. Leave you wanting more,” he moved his hips harder, knocking the air out of you in moans and whimpers, “Gonna have you thinking about how I felt inside you like this. Not even your own hand can make you feel good like I can, you’re gonna have no choice but to come back for more,”

You knew he was right. He already exceeded your expectations at the underground party. Now he was really showing out.

“So you’re gonna cum for me like I want you to and not say a damn thing,” he lifted your legs on his shoulders and went harder, grunting loudly to chase his own orgasm.

“F-fuck fuck fuck!,” your nails dig into his forearms as you came another time, your body entirely spent.

His hips stilled as he came into the condom, panting with a slack jaw, hair sticking to his forehead, tattoos glistening in the glowing red room.

“I’ll call you a cab in the morning,” he simply pulled out of you and went in the bathroom to take a shower. You laid there shocked, usually you’d be the one calling the cab and leaving them to lie there in filth.

He was really something else

———

“Get your head in the game, Thorn!” Amity scolded. You kept forgetting the lyrics with Clint running through your mind, “We have a big show this weekend and there’s a huge prize at stake here,”

“Alright alright, Dusk. Just.. just shut it for a minute!,” sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose before taking a sip of your water.

“Blood, blood, blood

Pour more through my veins

I'm a dirty, dirty girl

I want it filthy”

Muttering the lyrics to yourself you took a deep breath and stood back at the mic. It was a new song and granted, you wrote it, but something else was flooding your mind.

“She’s dickmatized,” Tove snickers and you throw your guitar pick at her

“At least I get some, Luna”

“We all can’t have ethereal pussy like you, Thorn,”

You three barely called each other by your real names now. The stage names stuck and worked as nicknames.

She handed you your guitar pick back and started on the synth again, ready for you to come in.

“I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me

I hate you for every time you ever bled for me

I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me

I hate you for never taking control of me

I hate you for always saving me from myself

I hate you for always choosing me and not someone else

I hate you for always pulling me back from the edge

I hate you for every kind word you ever said

I'll bleed you dry now,”

Your body swayed to the verse before you put your all into the chorus, screaming the lyrics and moving around like you had an audience. You imagined Clint there and that’s when you really started to feel the song. You imagine him in the front row, sweating and smiling at you, jumping up and down, headbanging. God, that would be a sight to see.

The intensity of the song had you thinking about that night and how he ruined you for any other man

“I love you for everything you ever took from me

I love the way you dominate and you violate me

I love you for every time you gave up on me

I love you for the way you look when you lie to me

I love you for never believing in what I say

I love you for never once giving me my way

I love you for never delivering me from pain

I love you for always driving me insane

I'll bleed you dry now”

You felt chills run down your body as you strummed the strings faster and faster, feeling your face heat up. You couldn’t wait to get there out front of a crowd where you’d have a whole crowd screaming out and moshing, fists pumping and eyes glazed over from the drunkenness and inebriation from all the pot.

You end the song with huff and a big smile

“See, all you had to was get your mind in the right place. We’re gonna kill it!,”

“So- was the dick that good? or should I say cock?,” Luna smiled mischievously and made sure to put extra and weird emphasis on the word.

“Coming out of your mouth? Hell no,”

You all sit on the couch and take a break. Creating music was not easy, creating good music wasn’t easy! So giving yourselves breaks was needed, especially with recording and working with modulations and screaming and the instruments, it was all a clusterfuck until it all came together.

“Come oooon, Thorn. Tell uuus, spill the potion,” She pleaded. She always liked to live vicariously through your stories lately, something about a sex fast to keep her energies in check.

“It was different. You know how I am. I barely let anyone touch me but goodness, girls. His hands were just- unreal. They were so rough and experienced. You know I like to be the dominant one but him? He took the wheel. He choked the hell outta me. Dirty talk is A1.. stroke game- it’s like a game of archery and he hits the bullseye every tiiiiime,” you clenched your legs together just thinking about it. You wondered when you’d get to see him again.

“He got a brother? Cousin? Best friend?,” Dusk looks over her glasses at you and sets her cup down.

“I don’t know all of that!,”

“Fuck me sidewaaaays I need some,” Luna screams out into the studio room.

“How far are you in your 100 day sex fast?,” you nudge her.

“Bitch, only day 30,” she sighs, “but it’s for a good cause. My body rejects dick that’s not for me, so I’m protecting her for the time being,”

It made sense- you never really had to worry about that- condoms were always a must- and you never really had a person come into your life that made you not want to use them.

“Your vagina is gonna become depressed,” Dusk adds nonchalantly.

“That’s not possible!”

“Oh but it is,”

They always went back and forth like that. Dusk was like the instigative sibling that was monotone about everything to sound more serious and Luna was like the younger sibling that believed everything and whined while you were like that single parent that had to break them apart.

“Thooooorn, tell her that’s not truuue,” she flung herself back in the chair.

“Sorry, buttercup, read up on it. The vagina can become depressed from lack of sex”

“Listen, I already gotta deal with regular depression now my vagina gotta go through it?!,”

“Just masturbate,”

“Okay okay- enough,” you stand up and laugh at the two, “Let’s get back to work. We still have three other songs to work on for the set list this weekend,”

—————

The crowd was rowdy. You were peeking from behind the curtain and saw the other bands getting them excited for you. Being an all black girl alternative band was already intimidating but headlining a music festival? Yeah that was different.

You stood on side and held your crystal, giving it purpose before you went out on stage and gave it your all.

“Now for the act you’ve all been waiting for” the announcer gets the crowd going and their screams put a smile on your face. You’ve still got a long way to go but you’re proud of how far you’ve come with your band and music. Starting out as a little garageband known as the Hex Girls now you’re here, performing at music festivals.

“Oh no-,” Luna turns to you, “I got the nervous poops again,”

“Well I hope you wore ya diaper because we don’t have time for a potty break,” Dusk tightens her guitar strap and gets ready to walk on stages

“I don’t need a diaper! It’ll pass once we get on stage!,”

“Call of the Vooiiidd!!,”

You adjust your ear piece and pat Luna on her butt, “It’s shooow tiiiime”

The lights were hot as hell, but it helped distract you from the large crowd. They were so excited to see you guys perform though. You used the adrenaline of you being nervous as a charge to get you going. You’ve all put in long hours of hard work and lyrical artistry to be here. The breakdowns, the arguments, broken instruments and wanting to give up on multiple occasions is what got you here.

You got this.

“We’re Call of the Void,” the screams were like a welcoming hug, comforting in a way and took any fear you had away, “And we’re here to fuck shit up,”

Dusk came in with the drums and there was no turning back now.

What you didn’t know was that Clint was there. At the first mention of your band being there he had to come and support, he spent days listening to your songs and learning the lyrics just so he could be here today and support you. He spent nights pleasing himself to the sound of your voice growling invigorating lyrics through his headphones. He’d be lying if he said you didn’t run laps in his mind, just like he did in yours.

He watched you run all around and jump around the stage, getting the crowd going. A mosh pit opened up right behind him and while any other time he’d join in the exhilarating moments of fighting strangers to music, he stayed right where he was to watch you. The way you moved your body was so languid and fluid, the way your lips moved to sing, scream, growl every lyric and modulation had chills running down his body.

Sure your music was great through headphones, but live was such a better experience, this made him realize why you all got big so fast.

He watched Dusk get wild in the drums, his eyes glistened at the way Luna’s fingers moved on the keyboard and synth. He admired you all, this was a band, he thought.

You on the other hand, you are having the time of your life and you know this is just the beginning. You stepped to the front of the stage and got low, that’s when you saw him... mouthing your lyrics and smirking at you.

You got on your hands and knees and crawl to the edge, getting as close to him as possible as he was a couple rows away.

“I know you want me I know you need me But I just wanna fuck”

You wink at him and the crowd only screams louder and Clint can feel himself getting hotter. Not because of the propinquity of the pit, but because you just did that to him. It was like you could set him on fire but extinguish it at the same time.

You could give him life yet take it away.

That was the kind of power you had.

You ran an entire set, 45 minutes worth of pure adrenaline and sweat. Some people in the crowd suffering from nosebleeds and busted lips and bruising just because your music made everyone that wild. They loved it though because at the end, everyone was left grinning and screaming for an encore. Everyone knew they’d be getting a good sleep tonight.

“Thank you all for the ride,” you were catching your breath as you paced the stage, “You definitely will be seeing and hearing more from us. This is just the beginning,”

You were thankful to have such a diverse fan base, even more blessed to see more alternative people of color like yourself. This is what you wanted. This was a dream come true and it only came true because you had people who believed in you and people who never told you to give up.

“Be safe getting home,” You, Luna and Dusk run off the stage and hug each other, still full of energy.

“That was the beesst show we have ever had!,” Dusk was wiping her forehead and smiling back at you both as if what just happened wasn’t real. But it was real alright.

“The energy tonight was amaziiiing!,” Luna squealed as she skipped to the trailer, the crystals around her neck creating a small clinking sound every time she landed on the balls of her feet.

The breeze felt good against your skin as your body finally started to cool down.

“Thorn,”

You stop in your tracks and the girls turn around at the voice as well. They were almost in the trailer when they saw him walking behind you.

“Ouuu he’s baaaack,” Luna teases.

“Get ya dumbass inside!,”

“But I wanna seeee,”

Dusk pushes her inside the trailer and shuts the door behind the two of them, leaving you and Clint at the steps.

“You killed it out there,”

“Of course I did,” you sat on the steps and glared up at him. You couldn’t let him onto you, couldn’t let him know that you’d been thinking about him ruining you all over again just like he did only a week ago.

“Let’s not play games or beat around the bush and drop hints hoping the other will catch on,” He stands tall, crossing his arms and looking smug. Damn him, all the other men were just play toys but him? He wasn’t with the shits. He wanted to lay down the law which was completely opposite of what you were used to.

“Not sure what you mean,” you were sure he could read you like a book. You enjoyed remaining an indecipherable code to everyone else but Clint just had this ability to crack the code and everything he found inside was for the taking.

“I’m think you do,” He leaned down and got in your face, noses touching and his eyes boring into yours, “So let’s just be adults and admit we can’t get each other off the other’s mind, yeah?,”:

You really did a number on yourself with this one.

----------

“Try not to need me,” Clint sat down with the team at dinner and explained that he’d be going away for a bit. For what exactly, they didn’t need to know all of that, they just needed to know that they’d have to make due with the resources they have now.

You two had been together for two years and married for about six months now and your band had made it big. He was going on tour with you, after you had done enough begging. In and out the bedroom.

“Why do you always disappear like this?,” Steve couldn’t help but ask. They always ask, it was a game of cat and mouse and he always got away.

“I have other obligations,” Clint always kept his answers short and vague.

“Like?,”

“Like minding my business, Tony,”

This was the norm. They had no idea what Clint was up to and he made sure Fury kept it that way. Sure you were already big, but the world didn’t need to know you were his wife. You knew about what he did, the avenging by day, rock star husband by day and night.

“I can’t see anything, guys,” Wanda’s voice gave off a defeated tone, as if she was supposed to succeed in some top secret mission and failed.

“Really guys? Trying to take a look into my head?,” he eats a piece of pepperoni that fell on his short and shook his head, “That’s a new low,”

“We just wanna know what you’re hiding from us,” Nat nudges him with her foot.

“Clearly if I’m hiding anything it’s for good reason,” Clint snatches the remote from Sam to turn up the TV to avoid any more conversation, “Now shut up, this episode is great,”

You were at home packing everything into the tour bus. This would be your home again for the next few months. This was your first tor since you’ve all made it big and while it was nerve racking, you wouldn’t give it up and the fact you have a husband now? and he gets to experience this with you? yeah you definitely wouldn’t trade this.

You have two days left at home before you all hit the road cross country. You told Clint to spend time with his avenging friends. You made a list of everything that you needed and made sure to check it like ten times before setting it to the side.

You knew Dusk and Luna would wait till the last minute to pack just to whine that they forgot something and have to make a pit stop at the nearest store to get what they need. It was classic them to do so, it’s happened on past trips.

You hear the jingle of Clint’s keys and the heavy patter of his boots coming down the hall just as you set his duffel bag and suitcase by the closet door.

“I love it when you wear my shirts, love the side boob,”

He always adored you in all your glory, even when your hair was all over the place because you were in between styles. Even when your nail polish was chipped, even when you didn’t feel like shaving any body hair and it was grown out.

“I thought I told you to spend time with your hero friends,” You stand on his boots to lean up and get a kiss. He tasted like his favorite beer, “You taste like beer, what did I tell you about driving home after drinking?,”

“It was a couple sips before I threw it out and came home because they started badgering me again. So I came home to my wife,” He throws himself back on the bed and kicks off his boots before pulling you into his lap to straddle him.

You love the feeling of his hands on your thighs, just rubbing them so his hands didn’t remain idle. You couldn’t help but kiss him, you’ve missed him lately. All the board meetings and planning and extra time in the studio had separated you two more than you’d like to admit. While you did tell him to spend time with his friends, you were glad he returned home early.

“Ou, this is new, which one is this?,” his hand reached for your necklace but he drew it back when you slapped it away.

“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you to not touch another person’s crystals?” You smooth your hands along his chest and give him a look that lacked amusement.

“Well excuuuse me,” his arms wrapped around your thighs so that he could flip you over, “I wanna have coitus with my wife now though and I’d like to choke you out so I’d recommend removing it,”

“Oh.. oh okay,” you raised yourself off the black sheets for a second to remove you necklace and set it on the bedside table, “I’m all yours,”

“Glad we had that talk,”

You loved to see him smile, especially when his eyes became tiny slits because that indicated how genuine his smile was and hey, it’s you he’s smiling at, of course it’d be genuine.

His hands slipped into the sides of his homemade muscle shirt that you were wearing and his cool rings clashed with the warmth of your pierced nipples as he groped them and rolled them in his hands. You opened your legs wider for him to get closer while his mouth was working on your neck and lips.

Tonight was about to be full of rounds as this was the last time you both would be able to have all types of sex in the comfort and privacy of your own home. You could be as loud as you want. He would be as rough as he wanted without people thinking you were being hurt.

“Take the shirt off, Y/N,” the way his voice rasped always got you going, always ready to let him have his way with you, you loved feeling vulnerable under him because outside of this you were that independent woman who didn’t need a man despite her having a husband and Clint was there to support you independence, but you still appreciated his support and efforts no matter what because sometimes you did need to be brought back down to Earth and he was there.

“Fuck I missed you,” you gasp as his teeth tug on your hardened nipples, barely giving you time to throw the shirt to the side.

He showed you how much he missed you by burying his face in between your thighs. Feasting on everything you had to offer. You’ve thanked the cosmos over and over for giving you a man who treated you right, stayed in his lane yet supported you and put his foot down when needed aaand delivered a good sex game. He was the perfect package, including all the bits and pieces that made up his own personality.

“Yes, baby” you spread your legs wider and hold the back of your thighs to watch his tongue move fast against your swollen clit.

“I will never get sick of the way you taste,” he groaned, staring at your pussy like it was the best meal he’d ever have in his life. He got into it every time, closing his eyes and shaking his head, moaning against you at the juices that flowed for him.

Those fingers, absolute gifts. Something about getting fingered always had you ready to explode. He moved them fast, made sure to stimulate all parts of you. He never failed to make you whine and your toes curl in the air.

“I want you to cum for me,”

And what he wants, he gets. You’re moving your hips up against his fingers in a needy little motion with wanton cries and chills running down your body.

“That’s it,”

He was so encouraging and it never failed to make your face heat up. You damned him for it from the moment you met him. Clint knew what he was doing, pushing every button, threading the eye of every needle, hitting every target dead set in the center. He just knew.

“C’mon, no more games. I need you,” you pulled on his hair to get him back up to you, “I want it, all night,”

------

Today would be the last day everyone got to see Clint before he went on another hiatus without a word of what he would be doing or so much as a hint to where. For months, again, the team wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive until he popped back up.

Pietro was alone in his room, spending his free time watching your music and behind the scenes videos.

He was obsessed with your band, but for the most part, just you. The way you’d look into the camera made him feel like you were looking at him. Your hair always sat atop your head like a crown no matter the style. Whether it was your natural big puffs, your individual braids, wigs, locs, anything, he was mesmerized. He was a hardcore fanboy and was not afraid to admit it.

“I think... I think being spiritual is much more than just trying to stay positive all the time,”

God, he loved your voice. He loved how low in register it was to others. You sounded so dignified and established, just by talking.

“Honestly, fuck the whole notion that you have to be nice to be seen as spiritual. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is put a bitch in her place, I’m not saying be an unwarranted asshole but don’t let people walk over you just because they think you can’t help but be nice” He laughed at the genuine answer, he didn’t know you personal but he felt so close to you, granted you are human, but you just didn’t let the fame get to your head and sometimes he had to remember you were a real life human,

“Respecting your boundaries is spiritual, not being taken advantage of is spiritual, allowing yourself to feel anger is spiritual. It’s so much more than crystal wearing and sage burning and trying to be happy go lucky. No one can be like that all the time... no matter how hard you want to be, because there’s always that someone that wants to get you out of character,”

Pietro felt connected to you, he’s never felt like this before. He was never the type to rush to a computer to buy the early bird tickets or the latest merch but here he was, being that person and he didn’t give a damn.

“Piet, time for dinner. Clint’s here and he brought a guest, so clean yourself up,” Wanda threw something at him to get his attention away from the phone but he just grunted while getting out of bed.

“I’ll be out in a biiit,” He shooed her away and fixed his hair and hung up his room shorts for a nice pair of dark jeans. He decided to keep your band’s tee crew neck on, that should be good enough for Clint’s guest. How ‘cleaned up’ did Wanda want him to get?

Pietro slipped on some shoes and trudged his way into the dining room. He still had his phone in hand watching your videos when he heard the melodic, sultry vibrations of your voice, and not just from his phone, no. You were actually here, sitting down, eating dinner in his home.

He dropped his phone and stood there with his mouth hung open. He was in such a shock he was surprised he didn’t piss his pants in excitement.

“Is he okay?,” you noticed him staring at you and found it weird until you noticed your band name on his crew neck. A fan, interesting.

“Yeah he’s just obsessed over you,” His sister shrugs and places mash potatoes on her plate, “Piet, sit down and close your mouth. You look silly,”

“How cute,”

He turned red at the sound of you calling him cute. You found him cute... you’re seated right in front of him and you called him cute!

Pietro slowly slid into his chair and tried not to stare but he couldn’t help it. You’re real.

“Anyway,” Clint cleared his throat and looked around the table to make sure he had everyone’s attention, “Now that everyone is here. This is my wife, Y/N and she’s an artist,”

“You owe me 50 bucks,” Sam points to Natasha and Bucky.

The two groan in in defeat and slap the money in his hands. You found it amusing, they all had a cute little team going here.

“Babe, this is everyone,”

Your eyes pan around the room to get a good look everyone, putting a face to a name, you knew who was who just by his vague descriptions from before.

Your eyes stop on Pietro and he’s still looking at you as if he’s seen a ghost. He was honestly adorable and he reminded you of your early days when you’d make men like him your toys. You send him a wink and his yes only get wider.

“Piet stop ogling her!,” Wanda slapped him upside his head and he hissed, sending a glare her way for embarrassing him.

“It’s quite alright,” you smile at the twins and turn to look at Clint who had a brow raised at you. He knew exactly what you were thinking. Before you two even got married, you explained to him that you were in polygamy and he was fine with that. He never really had eyes for another woman and he knew how other times you liked to feel dominant and while that wasn’t his thing, he was willing to let you have that with someone else, but the moment never presented itself, until maybe... now?

“What?,” you knew he was onto you but you loved playing bashful with him.

“We’ll talk when we get home,” he tried to hide his smile but it was you he was talking to, hiding his smile was useless.

“So, Y/N,” Tony cuts in, “What kind of art is it exactly that you do?,”

You notice the way he’s eyeing you and Tony himself wasn’t sure if he found you odd or if he was fucking with it, either way, he liked it.

“I make music,” plain and simple, “My childhood best friends and I made a band when we graduated high school, at first we didn’t think we’d honestly get anywhere but we’re about to go on our first tour,”

Taking a sip of your wine you await a response

“Is that why Clint always disappears? You know to be with your band when you do stuff?,” the one that you believed to be Natasha asked before forking a piece of chicken in her mouth.

“Well I sure hope so or else we have something to talk about,” you nudge Clint and he nudges right back. On the outside, it seemed like you two were that evil, vampire couple that lived in an all black, old fashioned, tall, Victorian style home with a sphynx cat. While the house and cat part was accurate, you were just a normal married couple that lived life with a little stardom.

Pietro would never get tired of your voice, he always repeated that to himself but hearing your voice in person, he never thought it would be possible. You were radiant, aura calming and bright. The tattoos that decorated your skin looked even cooler in person, eyes twinkling even brighter, you were so tall and he loved it.

You could stomp him out and he’d still say thank you-

“Pietro!,” Wanda slapped him upside his head harder this time, “Stop being weird,”

He cursed himself for saying that out loud. Your presence was just so intoxicating and hypnotizing in the best way possible. He always got nervous around attractive women.

“You’re just so cute,” you lean forward on the table and just shake your head at him and point to your band’s crew neck that he was wearing, “What’s your favorite song?,”

Pietro felt his mouth go dry. You were talking to him, he had to play it cool, he couldn’t embarrass himself in front of you anymore. He felt his hands get clammy and he felt his eyes burning, he was really about to cry happy tears because you were talking to him.

“All of them,” he croaks

You give a gentle giggle and nod, “If you had to choose one.. what would it be?,”

You found it adorable how still he sat with his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. He licked his lips and moved his jaw up and down as his words got lost.

“I uh... uhm.. i..,”

“It’s okay, take your time,” you encouraged.

Pietro took a deep breath and calmed himself down, “I’d probably choose.. Natural Born Sinner... c-ca- because it’s raw and I like the statement. It’s always the first on my playlist. I just love your voice,”

You grinned at how he talked as if you were a dream come true. You’ve met plenty of fans over the years but he was the cutest. So pure, so... ruinable.

“Good choice,”

Clint chuckled and shook his head at you, you were really something else. You couldn’t be tamed so like the lioness you were, he let you roam and trample what your willing prey.

Dinner went on and much of the conversation consisted of where you’d be performing, who your bandmates were, what your favorite clothing brand was because you definitely inspired Wanda to change her wardrobe. Tony made a mental note to listen to your band. Peter and Bucky wanted to meet your other mate, Sam and Natasha made sure they’d have to look up the price of your tickets because you just seemed so cool and genuine they had to support you.

All while Pietro had an erection and was thinking of many things to make it go away.

Those sad puppy commercials, washing dishes with wet food, stubbing your pinky toe, ripping a hangnail, a cat hacking up a furball... Y/N has a cat... her name is Obsidian.. Y/N’s eyes are like black obsidian, Y/N is here right now.. .I bet she’d look so good above me... Just look at the way she’s looking at me now.. oh shit she’s looking at me!!

Pietro snapped back into reality and realized his erection had gone away just to come back when you winked at him. He shouldn’t like that- your husband is sitting right there...

“If you guys would like to come see us live one day, I can definitely make that happen,” you lean into Clint and he rubs your arm while everyone looks at you as if you were Oprah saying “You get a ticket! you get a ticket! everyone gets a ticket!!,”

“Please?!,”

---------

“You made him so nervous,” Clint leaned back in his seat while driving.

“That wasn’t a look of nervousness, babe. I definitely made him horny. I know that look,”

You’ve seen many give you that look in your life. You made them so nervous they couldn’t help but be turned on and they always begged for you to give it to them.

You heard Pietro’s pleas for sure.

“I want that one... for sure,”

The drive back to your house consisted of talks about how you both would work around this arrangement. Clint was totally fine with it, he wasn’t the jealous type plus he knew at the end of the day you were his wife. He knew you loved it when he took control and while he changed your life, your dominant side itched to come out and now it finally does, as long as Pietro is 1000% sure. You were presented with the best of both worlds as a switch and now you were so close to holding the two in your grasp.

“You’re acting like he’s a puppy or a new toy,”

He might as well be... please daddy I promise I’ll be nice,” you tease and beg like a child.

“I’ll see what I can do, sweet pea,”

---------

Today was the day, you were all packed and ready to go, but you and Clint had to make one pit stop before heading to Dusk and Luna’s house where the tour bus would meet you.

You had your braid up in a knot and sunglasses on, leather jacket spiked, skirt short and boots tall. You looked irresistible.

“Clint.. Y/N- waddaya doing here?,” Steve asked when he sees you two get off the elevator.

“Where’s the nervous one?,” you question, wanting to get straight to the point.

“Pietrooo!,” Clint called out and Pietro zoomed into the foyer and almost ripped when he saw you looking down at him.

“Y-you’re back,” already a stuttering mess he was.

“Yeah, got any plans over the next few months besides fanboying over me?,” you pop your gum and Piet could have busted a nut right then and there with the way your eyebrow coked up over the rim of your glasses.

“J-just missions,”

“Great. I pardon you. So waddaya say you come with tour with me?,”

Pietro’s ears began ringing. There’s no way he just heard you correctly, right? Oh but he did hear you right.

“You’re joking?,”

“Do I look like I’m joking?,”

No, not you do not look like you’re joking and he doesn’t know how to handle it. Clint is just standing there, smug as ever.

“I’d... hell yeah I’d love to,”

You smile how how much thicker his accent had gotten from the excitement but you just nod and turn on your heels,

“You have fifteen minutes to be in the lobby before we head out,”

God you looked so good walking away. Clint pushed him in the direction of his room, “Get a move on. We’re on a time schedule,”

--------

Even two months into traveling with you and Clint it still doesn’t seen real that he’s here. Experiencing you perform live was so surreal he couldn’t help but go into his hotel room or bunk and blow one after every show you all had.

Luna knew he had a crush on you and she always teased him for it

“You better hold Clint doesn’t find out. He’s gonna kill you,”

She didn’t mean it seriously. She just liked to see him flustered. It was adorable to hear him stutter and try to lie saying he doesn’t see you that way, he’s just a friend of Clint’s who admires the band.

“Luna leave him alone. If Clint definitely knows... that’s why he’s here,” Dusk adjusts her ear piece backstage before it’s show time. The team would be here to see this one so he’d have to go out soon to meet them and take them to the front to the VIP rows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?,” He was always confused and could never read between the lines. You have given subliminal hints the entire starting from the night you met him but he still hasn’t gotten it.

Tonight would change that.

“Piet, they’re here. Head out front now,” Clint peeked his head out from your dressing room and noticed the way his pants were unbutton and his hair was a mess. God, he wishes that was him.

It was no secret that before performance sex was a common ritual with you two, one time he heard it and had to go to the bathroom to situate himself.

“Pietro! you hear me?,”

“Uh,” he snaps back to the present and nods his head feverishly, “Yeah, yeah,”

He rushed to meet everyone. Wanda clearly took a page from your book and used you as inspiration for her outfit. Everyone else looked kind of normal, save for Bucky who hard dark liner around his eyes and was wearing one of your band tees with the sleeves cut off, black pants and boots. He fit in with the crowd perfectly and didn’t give a damn if Sam made fun of him for it, he knew he looked good and Pietro had to admit such a truth.

“I’m so excited!,” Wanda spray dyed her hair black and had it in cute pigtails so as she jumped up and down the pigtails moved back and forth. She wore a cropped band tee with a skirt that was decorated with chains and a pair of ripped tights and a pair of tall platform boots, much like yours.

“You think if I crowd surf people are gonna keep me afloat?,”

“Tony, I think it’d be in everyone’s best interest if you don’t crowd surf,” Natasha shook her head and laughed as they followed Pietro into the arena.

“Well why not?,”

“Because I want to crowd surf. This crowd isn’t big enough for the both of us,”

“Oh but it is,”

They went back and forth about who should be the one to get to crowd surf as if the arena wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

“I’m gonna head back, I’ll be back before the show starts,”

Pietro books it backstage and sits in Luna’s dressing room knowing he would hear you and Clint perfectly.

He could hear the slapping of your skin and the little whimpers you tried to hold back. God you sounded delicious. If only that were him making you feel good, or at least if only he got to sit in there and watch you get fucked before you went out on stage ans used all that good energy and put your all into your show like you always do.

“Right there, right there,”

He loved to hear you beg but he really just want you to make him beg. He wants to be the one making you feel good. He wants you to use him for your own pleasure. His wants were insatiable when it came to you. He you to want him, wanted you to make him your little play toy. But he was too nervous to do admit that.

He had confidence with the girls his age, but those girls are not you. You’re a woman, a goddess, so it made sense that you made him feel so small and he loved it.

“That’s my girl, cum for me,”

If only Pietro could jerk off right now, so he sufficed with palming himself through his jeans. He couldn’t make noise or else the jig would be up.

“Yes, yes, yes!,”

You sounded so breathless. He imagined how good you looked with your legs spread open on the table, breasts bouncing, mouth hung open because every sensitive spot his being hit.

On the other side of the wall, Clint’s mouth was suckling on your nipples hungrily, growling every time you clenched around him. Your hands ran through his hair and you felt yourself about to cum all over again.

“You feel so good, baby,” you kissed his cheek as you cum around him. He fills you to the hilt before cumming deep inside of you.

While the act of fucking before a show would tire anyone else out, it always gave you more energy and made you feel like you could run a marathon.

Pietro on the other hand was pleading to himself for you guys to not be done already. He needed to hear more, he needed more.

“No, no. nooo,” he whispered to himself.

“10 minutes til show time!,”

Pietro heard your manager yell down the hall.

“Fuck” he sighed. He was so defeated and knew he wouldn’t be able to get there right now. So he thought horrible things to make his dick go down before heading out to the team to wait for you guys to come out on the stage and get everyone riled up.

“You look flushed,” Sam points at his face, “You okay,”

“Dandy,”

They all talked and waited around while time dwindled down before the show began. His nerves were getting the best of him and he wasn’t sure why. All he had to do was stand here and enjoy your music. Which he always did but tonight just felt different.

*Listen to Sexual Hallucination by In this Moment*

The smoke started to fill the stage and the Luna began playing on the keyboard and synth. Everyone immediately got quiet and payed attention,”

“Red lips, a sinister toongue,”

The way you breathe, the way you whispered into the mic had Pietro whining. He just wanted one taste of you, just one taste and he would be fine.

“(I'll taste you until I can't),”

No one expected Clint to come out on stage, so just imagined how their jaws dropped when his voice flooded through the speakers and and he slowly walked onto the stage.

“Our trip has just begun (I'll fly with you til the end) Psychotic voice (You are in my veins now) And there's no denying (There's no denying) As we both burst into flames”

It didn’t take long for everyone to begin singing along.

The way you had your back up against Clint’s chest and moved your hips to the flow of the song had Pietro’s mouth watering and this was only the first song of the damn set. How was he gonna make it through the set? How was he gonna make it through another four months?

“You watch me come undone (It makes me want you more) I'm crawling into the unknown (I'll follow you to the core) I feel like I'm dying (I'm right beside you) You whisper, "we're flying" (There's no denying) We both converge as one”

Pietro couldn’t even sing along, he could only stand there and enjoy the sight of you. You noticed him though. Often times throughout the song you’d make eye contact with him and you could see his eyes flutter.

Tonight he made the decision that he couldn’t keep these yearnings to himself anymore, he had to say something.

Tonight you made the decision to turn him out. You couldn’t take him being oblivious anymore.

You wanted him and he needed you.

--------

Bucky found himself in a mosh pit and got a bloody nose, Steve and Bruce took their shirts off and threw it on stage, Natasha and Tony both got their turns to crowd surf. Sam met a pretty little lady and went somewhere with her, Wanda lost her voice from screaming along with you and her eyeliner smudged. But Pietro was just standing there thinking about how he could tell you he wants to sleep with you without Clint beating his ass.

“We can’t thank you all enough for coming out tonight and supporting us and having fun,”

It was the end and you were sweating bullets, pacing the stage and talking to the crowd before it was time to leave.

“We can’t thank you all enough for making the dreams of three black women come true. Especially in a white male dominated genre. Had you told us when we were four. five years old that we’d be famous, we probably wouldn’t believe you because it seemed so impossible but here we are.. and it seems so surreal,”

You smiled at the screams from the crowd while Dusk and Luna said their piece and you all waved to the crowd before heading backstage where your crew and manager all congratulated you on another smooth show.

“Babe, that was amaziing!!,” Clint lifted you into the air and twirled you around before you wrapped your legs around his waist and kisses him. He hugged you tight despite you being sweaty and gross.

“Thank you! You did great out there. I bet they’re gonna ask for more collaborations with us,”

“And that’s something I’d be willing to do,”

Striking the stage took forever and packing up took even longer. The ride back to the hotel wasn’t that bad though and his team members met you all there where you all cleaned up and relaxed.

“They didn’t have music like that when I was growing up. It was so invigorating!,” Steve talked like a kid who just met their favorite superhero.

“I gotta ask-,’ Tony pipes up

“Uh oh”, “Oh no”, “Maybe you shouldn’t” was heard all around the room and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shoot,”

“It’s not that bad,” He rolled his eyes, “What’s the significance behind your band name? and why the change?,”

The question was valid, you’re surprised no one asked you the question sooner.

“Hex Girls was like the baby and babies grow,” Luna smiled as she scooted closer to Bucky. She’d had her eyes on him for a while now and he seemed to be feeding into it, “It’s like Pokemon evolution. You start off small and cute until you evolve into something bigger and more badass with a larger impact,”

Tony nods in understand but looks as if he has more to ask, “What does Call of the Void mean though?

You take a sip of your wine and think of a way to explain it to him.

“You know how when you’re on top of a building and just feel like jumping but without any protective gear? You know how sometimes you’re driving and just feeling swerving into the other lane? or when you’re blending something and feel like putting your hand in the blender to see what would happen even though you already know how it would end?,”

“Yeah.. but I don’t do that,”

“Exactly,” you nod, “It comes from the french phrase ‘l’appel du vide’ which translates to call of the void,”

Everyone else is still looking as if they don’t understand so Dusk takes it upon herself to explain further.

“Call of the Void is where you have self-destructive thoughts even though you’d never actually do them. It’s a sort of miscommunication in the brain. It’s really your brain kind of sending a warning signal like ‘be careful’ and it makes you take a step back or snap back into reality so you take notice of your surroundings,”

You point at her as a way to confirm her statement, “Now call of the void can be classified as suicidal thoughts but it’s honestly a phenomenon. People who experience this phenomenon aren’t necessarily suicidal rather, the experience of high place phenomenon may reflect their sensitivity to internal cues and actually affirm their will to live,”

You hear ouuu’s and aaahhh’s around the room before a clap of hands.

“Okay well we got an early flight to catch so I say it’s about time we turn in for the night,” Steve says to everyone.

They all agree and say goodnight while leaving and you notice Luna and Bucky leaving together and going to her room. You shake your head at the two until you see Pietro get up

“Where do you think you’re going?,” you ask.

He turned around and noticed how beautiful you look with a bare face and your hair tied up in a wild bundle of colorful braids.

“I- I was..”

“Sit down and stay a while. We have a lot to talk about,” you pat the spot beside you and laugh at the way he takes slow steps towards you and sits down.

“Is everything okay?,”

“You seemed really tense tonight,”

Clint sat back and rubbed your legs that stretched across his lap.

“Did you not enjoy the show?,”

“N-no I did-,”

“I mean the other show, Piet,”

His breath hitches and his eyes get buggy. He knew exactly what you were talking about and he wondered how the hell you knew!

“I didn’t mean to-,”

You skin felt so good on his when your fingers ran down his cheek while shushing him.

“We wanted you to hear. Don’t be shy. I know you’ve been getting frustrated,” You sat up straight and scooted closer, “You had to have known why I invited you on tour with us... or are you just that oblivious?,”

“I’m just that oblivious,” he whispered.

Your hands ran through his hair and and tugged at the roots causing him to let out a breathy moan. He sounded beautiful.

“Clint, baby. Give us some space, will ya?,”

He grunted as a yes and kissed you before leaving for the bedroom, “Don’t worry, man. You have my blessing,”

That made Pietro calm down instantly. Once you heard the bedroom door shut, you straddled Pietro’s lap and ran your hands all over his body.

“I like it when you look at me like you need me,” you nip on his earlobe and he lets out an unintentional whine which went straight to your core. You loved it when they sounded helpless.

“Because I do?,”

You pouted a small smile and gripped his cheeks in your hand, “You think you can take it?,”

His breath shuttered and he blinked really fast, trying to comprehend that you were really sitting in his lap

“No but... I need you. I’ve been wanting you for so long I just-,”

He was taken aback when you kissed him with such force it knocked the wind out of him. Your tongue pushed its way into his mouth and he was kissing you as if it was his last and only chance to do so. His hands landed on your thick thighs and he rutted up into you.

“I want you to lie back on this couch and eat my pussy while I sit on the pretty face. You hear me?,”

“Yes ma’am,”

You stood up and pushed him down on the couch. You undressed yourself in a rush and climbed over top of his face. He was ready, mouth already open, tongue resting on his lip.

“Be a good toy and eat it,” You pulled him by his hair and he buried his tongue deep inside you, working you, handing kneading your ass while he made sure not to disappoint you.

“Fuck, that’s good. Yeah, give me more,”

Damn you tasted so good. He basked in your flavor. This is what he wanted, you smothering him in your pussy, chasing your high.

His slurping could be heard through the living room but he didn’t care. The sight of you above him, tugging at the metal bars that pierced your pretty brown nipples had his dick leaking precum.

“That’s iiit. Make me cum,” you directed.

You thrust yourself into his mouth and hold his head there as you finally cum, “Take my sum like a good boy,”

He happily slurped up every drop, he’d never been with anyone who got this wet. Strings of your cum on your pussy connected to his lips and he greedily licked them up.

“Take your dick out,”

You stood up and got on your knees in front of the couch and made him sit up. Your mouth felt perfect on his mouth. You were like a sex goddess and he was having a hard time containing himself. You got so sloppy your spit was dripping down his balls. You gagged unapologetically and rolled his sac in your hand.

“Fuck, fuck, you’re so good. That feels so good!,”

He braced himself against the couch and tried not to buck his hips up but his legs were shaking like crazy.

You used your dripping spit as lubrication and swirled it around his pink puckered hole. This had him shook, but he didn’t know shook until you pushed your finger in and his a spot in him that he didn’t even know he had.

“Oh.. God!,”

Your mouth didn’t let up and your finger was thrusting in him at a pace he couldn’t comprehend. His legs were hiked up he felt like a little bitch but that was fine because it was you making him the little bitch, this is what he wanted.

“I’m gonna cum,” His eyes were in the back of his head and his body trembled when you pulled away from him. You pulled your finger out of him and removed your mouth.

“You’re gonna fuck me until you can’t think straight, now. You hear me?,”

“Please. That’s all I want,”

He was so needy and responsive, you made a good choice picking this one.

You lied back on the couch with your legs wide open,rubbing your clit. He admired your pussy. You weren’t completely shaven but it wasn’t wild either, your pink clit stuck out from under it’s good, and your brown lips called out for him.

“Get moving, Piet,”

“Yes, Ma’am,”

He aligned himself at your entrance and prayed he would prematurely bust. When he pushed in he whimpered to the point tears came to his eyes.

You felt so good it was unreal. You loved with way his slim cock felt inside of you, was a different sensation from Clint’s thick uncut cock.

“Make me cum then you can get yours, baby,”

He braced himself on the arm of the couch and went wild. Your legs up on his shoulders and encouraging and praising him. He felt invincible. He was fucking a rock star, better yet, the rock star he’d been fanboying over for so long.

He made sure to hit deep, knowing that’s how you like it from hearing you with Clint.

You pulled him down for a kiss and bit his bottom lip, making him groan in your mouth, “You’re doing so good fucking me like this, I’m so close,”

He loved being at your disposal. He lost it when you started fucking him back and clawing at his shoulders. His momentum picked up because he was so close. His hips became a blur as the skin slapping filled the room.

“Yes, yes, yeeess! Make me cum,” you pushed him back and rode him into the sunset. He could barely catch his breath as he felt your pussy hug him in tighter while you began cumming. He’d never been with a women who could squirt, so you could imagine the hungry look on his face when it started happening, all because of him. He bucked his hips up harder to make you squirt harder and he felt his balls twitch with an impending orgasm.

“I’m gonna cum, can I cum? Please let me cum,”

You sat up off of him and used your hand to get him there. He was a squirming, mewling mess, and turned red when white ropes of cum shot up into the air and landed on his stomach. He covered his face and you giggled, knowing he just blew the biggest load he’s ever blown.

“Good boy,” You trail kisses on his chest and lick up the mess he made of himself. You shush him and massage his body until he’s calm and breathing evenly. He kept thanking you over and over.

“I reckon it went well?,”

Clint comes back with snacks and smiles a the post sex mess you two are.

“Yeah... I definitely plan on keeping him,”

~~~~~~~~~

THIS. IS. MY. LONGEST. FIC. YET?! HOLY COW!!

It feels nice to finally get a fic out after not being able to for the past month. So here’s my treat to y’all. Thank you for being so understanding, lovely and patient. I love you all so much!

PLEASE COMMENT AND REBLOG!

Tags- @blackreaders-assemble @vozit @yournonlocalpoc @babybubastis @mbaku-babygirl @dumbchick @marvclheaux @noire-griot @warmchick @m00nlightdelights @retroxvailles @spideys-wife @xye-weirdo @micki-smiles @veryhellshdia @never-enough-time-for-sleep @here-for-your-bullshit @valynsia @valkyriesnymph @honeynmlk @chonisberonica @valentinevirgo @mokacoconut @crawlingnightmares

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afewmarvelousthoughts · 5 years

Text

Truth Pt. 14

Master List @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: Angst, feels, blood, pain, and... fluff

A/N: I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING!

FUUUUCK. Thank y’all so much for your support and love of this series. It’s been a runaway train from the beginning and I’ve enjoyed even the utterly painful parts. I thought I was gonna wait and post this on Wednesday like I usually do but honestly... after the last chapter I think everyone waited long enough.

I hope you all enjoy this. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Tags are open!

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415@peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked@buckysstar @sam-jae @marauderconvos –harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @marvelousmeggi @jewelofwinter @fairislesheets @animegirlgeeky @lydklein1 @katecolleen @siriuslycloudy2 @zannemes

The concussive force from the superheated air knocks everyone back. Free of Stark’s grip, Bucky hits his knees, gaping at the glowing pillar of white light reaching from the ground into the sky. It would be beautiful if he knew you weren’t trapped in the middle of it.

It only lasts for a couple of seconds before it’s gone. The sky cracks with thunder as it cools, clouds swirling in response to the unnatural disturbance. The ground shakes heavily for several minutes, buildings creak, a few close to the now leveled main building collapse.

Then… silence as rain begins to fall from the angry sky.

“J… Jarvis… talk to me…”

“The energy emitted… it was equivalent to a massive nuclear detonation… somehow Miss Y/N managed to contain it… had she not the city would have been decimated… The force caused an earthquake, around a five on the Richter scale. There will be damage but nothing major.”

Bucky hardly registers what any of that means. He bolts to his feet and begins running. Only one thing matters to him at this moment. He has to find you, no matter what shape you may be in he has to bring you home, he will not leave you here… he can’t. If Stark or anyone tried to stop him he’d kill them. That simple.

He’s about to jump into the crater that was once the main building when a hand grabs his shoulder. Spinning on his heels he’s ready to lash out at who ever had the gall to stop him. Steve’s mournful gaze freezes Bucky’s rage in an instant.

“We’ll find her Buck. I swear.” Bucky stares at him for a second before managing a nod and the two men slide down.

Desperately his eyes scan for anything that will give him a clue. But it’s just endless, charred, steaming rubble.

He hears Tony overhead, “Come on Jarvis, tell me you got something.” If Jarvis responds it’s not on everyone’s coms. Sam is also above them scanning, while Hill and Clint help Natasha down into the crater. No one seems certain of what they’re looking for, only that they have to look. Have to try.

After about ten minutes that feel like five hours Sam pipes up, “I think we got something!” He’s near the center, landing softly, no one sure how solid the ground beneath them is.

Bucky rushes over as Jarvis chimes in on all their coms, “Weak life signs. She seems to be in an air pocket.”

“Help me with this guys,” Tony goes to a large slab of wall. Carefully Bucky, Steve, and Tony lift the slab and lay it gently down, not wanting to cause the debris to shift too heavily. There’s still an unnerving groaning sound from somewhere beneath their feet.

They move more debris, working at a miserably slow pace. Finally, they lift a piece of strangely warped concrete and…

He sees you, the debris around you curved and almost melted forming a sort of cocoon. You’re on your back, large patches of your tac uniform have been burned away, your exposed flesh black and red and blistered, your right arm is pinned under your back at a sickening angle, clearly badly broken. Blood trickles from your mouth, nose, and ears. But you’re alive.

Unthinking Bucky drops down hands reaching, aching to touch you. “If you touch her I’ll put a bullet in you Barnes,” Sam barks settling next to you. Bucky glares, “Moving her you could kill her and I’m not going to fucking let that happen. We clear?”

He’s right. Bucky nods. Thankful for Sam.

“Jarvis we need the Nightingale.”

Within five minutes you’re on some kind of Stark tech stretcher. Sam carefully arranges your busted arm, while straps gently and automatically hold you in place.

“Let’s get her home,” Clint says from behind Bucky, patting his back in an attempt at comfort.

Everyone is quiet on the ride back. Sam monitors your vitals, your worryingly faint heartbeat drops over and over and Bucky feels himself die just a little each time. Thankfully you’re still hanging on when they land at the tower.

Medical is prepped and ready. Instantly they surround you, Dr. Cabot barking orders in her stern tone. Bucky follows but Steve grabs him, “Let them help her.”

“Get the fuck off me Steve I can’t-”

“You can’t go in the O.R. Buck,” his grip tightens, “you can’t. But they’re gonna do everything they can. She’s tough as nails. She’s gonna pull through this.” Tony walks past them guiding Natasha and Bucky shoots him a murderous glance. “Come on.”

Bucky refuses to leave medical while you’re in surgery. Everyone but Tony waits with him. Even Bruce joins them looking stressed. It’s just as good. He’s of the mind to literally rip Stark’s spine out.

Six excruciating hours later Dr. Cabot comes out. “We got her stable.” Bucky shoots up. “Some… some of the injuries were unique… the heat…” She shakes her head, “We did our best. Now we wait and hope.”

He feels like he’s gonna be sick. “Can… c… can I…”

“Soon,” The doctor gives Bucky a tender smile. “Get cleaned up and by the time you’re done we’ll have her ready for you to see.”

Bucky nods but can’t seem to bring himself to move. Clint and Steve coax him to the elevator. All the guys come along to the locker room they use for post mission clean up. No one willing to leave him alone.

Cleaned and changed they all head back up. Natasha is sitting with Hill, their hands clasped, in the little lounge area when they get there. Both looking morose.

“You can go see her,” Natasha’s voice is far away. “Wanted you to be first.”

Bucky runs the short distance to the private rooms the medical bay has. In the door, he freezes. You’re black and blue, bruises already blossoming. Bandages cover your arms from the burns, plus a few on your face.

“She’s breathing on her own,” Dr. Cabot comes up from behind, startling him. He jumps, but doesn’t lash out. “Sorry.” All he can manage is a nod in response before stepping in.

“That’s a good sign,” her tone is trying to reassure him but it’s not working. “She’s gonna need a new shoulder but that can wait… Just… there were internal burns. We aren’t sure how they’ll heal… and the head trauma… that’s always tricky.” She sighs, “Time will tell. Being enhanced… changes things, hopefully in this case for the better. No one should have made it through that… She’s strong.”

He nods as if anything she said sunk in and walks over to the bed collapsing on the chair next to it.

“Talk to her,” he looks up and she’s smiling. “Let her know you’re here. I’ll check in later.”

As soon as the door clicks behind her hot tears begin to stream silently down his face as he stares at you. He’s terrified to touch you, so scared that he’ll somehow make this worse. And talk… his tongue feels like lead in his mouth. Even his brain is swirling with different languages, unable to lock on to his mother tongue.

This is his fault. That’s the only solid thought he has right now. He shouldn’t have let you go in that room. Shouldn’t have let you anywhere near this mission… You hating him forever for being a controlling asshole would be better than this… at least you’d be alive.

Then he realizes there is one thing. One thing he has to find a way to say. Russian, Mandarin, French, Spanish, they all try to come out before he coaches his tongue to the proper English syllables. Leaning close to your ear he whispers, voice thick with regret and grief, “I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry…”

Five days later and your bruises have faded some, the burns healing, but you haven’t opened your eyes… Bruce assured him that you clearly have brain activity, that’s supposed to mean you’re still with them… still fighting. It’s not much comfort.

Bucky has hardly left this room, he’s spoken even less… well to anyone but you, and even then only when you’re alone. Steve and Natasha have kept the most vigil with him, he thinks they’ve worked out some sort of six on six off schedule. The others come in at least once a day, sad smiles and soft words. That is everyone but Stark who’s kept his distance.

Steve finally convinces Bucky that he needs to step away for more than five minutes. Well, convinces isn’t the word… he practically begs. Bucky agrees on the grounds that they won’t leave the tower and Jarvis is to notify him immediately of even the smallest changes to your condition.

They only go up to the roof for about a half hour. The air and sunlight actually do feel good, they clear his head just enough.

As the two men ride back down Bucky turns to his friend, “Thank you.” Steve looks shocked for a moment before relief floods his face. They’re the first words he’s said to him in days.

Without a word, Steve pulls Bucky into a bone crushing hug. In all their years of friendship, Bucky rarely let himself be weak around Steve. He needed to be strong for the scrappy little shit because no one else was gonna… but now, in this elevator after both their worlds have fallen, risen, and now Bucky feels as if it’s fallen again he leans into Steve’s strength for just a minute. “You got it, Buck.”

As they approach your room music spills from the open door. Bucky feels the blood in his veins turn cold. Stark.

“I know you have to hate this one Sparks, so feel free to tell me what a lame ass I am… berate me… anything…” Tony’s voice is rough. He’s leaned back in a chair balancing on two legs by your bed, hands cradling the back of his head. “The 90’s were a tough time for music but there were some gems.”

“Bucky, don’t-” Steve warns. Stark shoots up as Bucky barrels into the room.

He grabs Stark by his tee and slams him against the wall. Surprisingly though all the hateful things he’s thought to scream at Stark over the last few days won’t fly from his lips now. Instead, he holds him there, cold eyes boring into him.

“For what it’s worth I wanna kick my ass too…” The sincerity in Stark’s voice hits Bucky like a blow and he releases him though he doesn’t move away.

Stark’s eyes wander behind Bucky to you, “It was the one thing-” His voice cracks and he clears his throat trying to gain composure before continuing. “It was the only thing she ever asked of me. I asked her to trust us, to join us. I asked her to play hero… fuck.” He runs a hand over his face, catching the tears before they can fall. “She never asked anything of me… until you.” Bucky turns away, not wanting to hear it but unable to leave.

“She asked me to promise that if shit went sideways I would keep your dumbass safe because she knew you’d try to follow her into any deathtrap that came up. The only thing she asked.” His voice is shaking with emotion, “And you can hate me until the day I eventually eat it but I’d do it again in a heartbeat for her.”

Silence rings between the three men, only broken by the sounds of the music. “Even if you hate it play the music. There’s some stuff I know she’ll like. And even if she doesn’t… maybe she’ll get annoyed enough to wake up and have at me.”

As Tony pushes past him Bucky’s arm shoots out, holding him in place. He doesn’t look at him, scared that if he does he won’t be able to say the words. “I don’t hate you, Tony.” Finally, he turns, Tony’s face is bereft, “Keep the music coming, she likes your shitty playlists.”

A sad smile curls Tony’s lips. “They’re only shitty because you’re too old to know what’s good, Manchurian.”

Day 12 rolls up and Bucky begins to feel himself shutdown in a way he hasn’t since he’s been here. It’s a detachment he was familiar with as the Soldier, as though he’s observing the world through plate glass.

He’s going through the motions they all expect. Eating, drinking, talking when he needs to, even managing a half hearted smile here and there. All of it is muscle memory though, autopilot to get through the times when other people are watching.

Honestly, it’s easier to feel that way. Easier when they’re there and he has to play a part. When they’re gone… he feels it. It’s like there’s a crushing weight on his chest. He thinks he’d take the chair a thousand times over this grief. Rather mind numbing pain than this slow suffocation.

But still, he stays by your side. He plays Tony’s playlists, some of his music, some of yours. Sometimes he sings to you, softly, old songs he remembers from his life before. Maybe he tells you about something he remembers or old dreams he had of who he’d be. Over and over he whispers those those three little words he should have been saying long before now.

By day 17 he’s just numb. Your bruises have faded, the burns almost healed leaving pink scars in places that may linger for a few years. The doctors insist that your brain activity is promising but you haven’t even fluttered your eyes, not even a squeeze to his hand, nothing… despite the times, alone in the wee hours of the morning, that he’s begged for you to.

On day 21 he thinks this is worse than death. Just watching you lay there day after day night after night. Performing for the others. Hoping and hoping and hoping for something that may never happen.

Tonight he doesn’t sing, doesn’t play music, doesn’t tell stories. He lays his head down on the bed, silence holding you both tight. Tears stream from his eyes and he counts your breaths until oblivion takes him.

No one ever tells you what it’s like to almost die.

There’s always the wondrous stories about people who die and come back. The white light, loved ones telling you it’s not time and all that shit. People just don’t seem to talk about the almost. They don’t talk about the void of pain, the fear of dying that lingers after your body ceases to listen to you. There’s no beautiful light or love when you’re screaming but no one can hear you. Nothing poetic in pushing through the endless darkness of unconsciousness.

You’ve been here before though. Many times. The almost is like an old friend that rises to greet you when you feel the roof give way beneath your feet. It’s happy to drag you under as the debris settles around your body, still pulsing and glowing with pure burning energy.

Unlike those other times though you don’t beg for death and you don’t pull through to spite the reaper either. This time you fight because there’s something worth living for. Someone, or someones rather, who you aren’t willing to leave behind. Not yet. So you push back against that insidious pull of death, scream and beg your body to obey you to move just a little, just something so they know.

It seems like an age before you feel the pain sear through your right shoulder. For a moment you don’t remember why your shoulder should be hurting or why the hell you’re sleeping on your back. Then it all barrels into you. The pain is less of a nuisance then, you savor it because it means you won, you’re still alive.

The room is silent but you can hear a familiar steady breathing to your left, feel a familiar weight across your torso. Bucky sleeping, his left arm over you, right hand tightly gripping your left. You have to open your eyes, have to see him… You don’t know how long it takes you to force your eyes to open but it feels like hours.

Slowly they creak open, heavy and strangely sore. Even though the light is dim it feels like looking into the sun for a second. Eventually, they adjust and you drag your gaze to the left.

Your heart rises in your parched throat. His eyes look puffy from tears, lips chapped. His beard seems so much longer… how long were you… it didn’t matter.

First, you try to open your mouth, but nothing happens. Your tongue feels heavy, thick, unsure of how to function anymore. It takes a few frustrating minutes but finally you get it under control.

You squeeze his right hand as tight as you can manage. He shifts a bit but doesn’t seem to register until you squeeze once more. Instantly he shoots up, eyes wide.

“Y/N?!”

Your voice is nothing but a rasp, barely even a whisper, but you have to say it… just in case you never get to again. “I love you.”

Those spectacular eyes of his well with tears instantly, his chest heaves, like he hasn’t taken a breath in days. “I love you too, Y/N. So much baby doll. I love you.” That’s all he manages, words stumbling over themselves, before he breaks.

Bucky's lips crash into yours silencing his sob and you tangle the fingers of your left hand in his hair. His forehead rests against yours, his gaze making your heart skip a beat.

“I thought I lost you, baby.”

“You’ll never lose me, Bucky. I’m all yours.”

The next few days are a strange, disorienting blur. You feel like you forgot how to be awake.

Despite almost a month of unconsciousness you constantly feel yourself drifting off. Dr. Cabot tells you that your body is still healing. It was a massive trauma and even super soldiers have a breaking point. Still… it’s annoying. You want to be awake, to study the faces of your friends, dry their tears, hold on to every single moment.

Unconscious or awake though Bucky is there. His reassuring warmth a constant by your side. But… you can see what this has done to him. He’s ragged, barely sleeping, his eyes haunted. The relief that floods his face every time you wake up nearly undoes you.

Four days later Dr. Cabot comes in, a smile on her face. “Good news. I’m clearing you to go home.” That one little work sends warmth flooding through you. Home. Home with Bucky. You turn to him, your face hurting from the smile that just burst across it.

“Don’t get too excited though, you’re not done seeing me. I’m still going to be checking in and as soon as Tony has your shoulder replacement ready we’re scheduling your surgery.” As much as you hate the thought of being under, you’re sick of having a useless arm, you nod. “But since you live here I think being back in your own space will be good. For the both of you.” She gives Bucky a stern look.

“Thanks, Doc.” You eek out despite the emotion welling in your chest.

A couple of hours later and you’re in the elevator, thankful you talked your way out of a wheelchair. It felt good to be on your own two feet, even if you were leaning on Bucky for support.

When the doors slide open a welcome banner hung above the door greets you.

“Are they going to jump out and yell surprise when we walk in?”

Bucky looks down at you, clearly just as caught off guard as you were. “No idea.”

Cautiously he opens the door but to both of your relief no one jumps out, in fact, no one is here at all. What is here are sprays of flowers and a ton of food. A lump rises in your throat as you pick up the hand written card left on the bar:

We all thought you two would like some time alone. Enjoy the snacks, pizza will come later. We each picked a movie we think you’ll like, they’re queued on your TV. Jarvis has your ‘Welcome Home’ playlist ready to go for whenever you want to annoy Ice Man.

Glad you’re back with us, Sparks.

-The Team

I picked out the flowers, because we can’t trust these boys to get that right.

-Nat

Bucky wraps you in his arms, pulling your back flat against him, “We’re home, doll. Really home.”

The weight of those words almost make you weep from pure joy. Hydra had tried time and time again to take everything from you both, to prevent you from finding home and happiness. Hell, even your childhood home was nothing but a lie… But here… With these people, with him, together you had all found something special. More than home, you found family.

Turning in his arms you grasp the back of his neck with your good hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

His lips are soft against yours, this kiss unhurried. After all, why rush something so sweet. It truly hits you then that you want nothing but this for the rest of your days, no matter how many or how few there may be. Nothing but him.

Pulling back from the kiss you stare into his face. You want to remember every line, every freckle, every single detail of how he looks in this moment.

“What is it?” Concern flashes across his features for an instant.

“Truth or dare?”

“What?” He laughs.

“Come on. Truth or dare?”

“Um, dare.”

“I dare you to marry me, James Buchanan Barnes.”

The laugh that tears through his chest is pure joy. Every ounce of exhaustion slips from his features as he lifts you up and sets you on the counter top. He doesn’t say anything, just takes your face in his rough hands and kisses you until you can hardly breathe.

“Well? Do you accept my challenge?” You grin up at this man you love.

“I do.”

“That’s supposed to come later I think.” You tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

“I will happily accept that dare, Y/N.” Another laugh falls from his lips before he kisses you once more. “My turn,” he says breaking the kiss. “Truth or dare?”

“I feel obligated to chose dare, it got us into this whole mess originally after all.”

He nods in acknowledgment. “I dare you to take my name.” All you can do is smile at him. You already planned on it, your original last name left a bad taste in your mouth after everything. Your silence seems to unsettle him though, “I know it’s old fashioned but-”

“I’d love to.” He looks shocked. “Y/N Barnes. Has a nice ring to it.”

“Yeah,” he covers your face in kisses, “it does.”

Epilogue to come.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky feels

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rachel-hathburn · 5 years

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(( DOVE CAMERON, 23, SHE/HER, BISEXUAL)) [Y]? NO, THAT’S [PENELOPE WASH] BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE CALLED THE [THE WISEACRE ]. I’VE HEARD THEY CAN BE [DRIVEN && UPBEAT] BUT ALSO [JUDGEMENTAL && HIGH STRUNG]. THEY CALL OCEANSIDE THEIR HOME WHEN THEY AREN’T TOO BUSY BEING A/AN [ELEMENTARY TEACHER]. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOU CAN ALWAYS PICTURE [SHARPENED PENCILS, THE FIRST BREAK OF DAWN, PAINTED NAILS]. – MEGAN, EST, SHE,HER –

LINK TO HER WANTED CONNECTIONS

>Penelope Wash| Pen, Penne, Penny, Princess P, PP, Poe<

Pronunciation

✎{PEN}-{EL}-{OPEE}

Age

✎23

Gender

✎FEMALE

Race

✎WHITE

Languages

✎ENGLISH- (A bit of french from one college class)

Height

✎5′8 (I know Dove is pretty short but I see Pen being on the taller side)

Birthday

✎ SEPTEMBER 15th

Zodiac

✎VIRGO

Blood Type

✎ O+,

Alignment

✎NEUTRAL/NEUTRAL

Spirit animal

✎COUGAR;

Leadership

Standing Behind Convictions

Confidence

Clever

Awareness

Learning Proper Use of Power

Messenger Between Human and Divine Beings

Balance

Steadfast

Responsible

Dependable

Family History

Penelope didn’t always live in her neighborhood or house she does now. She actually used to live in a far bigger house with her Mother, Father, and Older Sister. Her Mother and Father were the farthest thing from the nurturing type and treated their daughters like robots, always coding them to perform at an unachievable level; Her older sister Prim however didn’t find it so unachievable and was exactly what their parents always wanted. Prim went on to become a neurosurgeon and once she got to job moved out to Vermont, their parents deciding to follow with her. Penelope was left on her own basically at 19 and a half, with nothing but a crippling understanding that she was useless and began to forever deem herself that way. She tried to contact her parents and sister but seeing as none of them ever really took a liking to Pen, she never got a response back. Penelope was given everything in life, finically, and never really was taught how to support herself. It wasn’t long until the girl began getting heavily into the party scene which inevitably brings about a lot of negative inhibitions, however the girl struck gold with meeting the people she’d soon come to live with in the Animal House. These people soon became her family and she enrolled into a community college, got her degree in education, and landed an amazing teaching job at a near by school. ~• •~

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"Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim." — Nora Ephron

Age of Appearance

✎Pen always tend to look a bit younger at first glance, especially without any make-up on, however her height and demeanor change that once you actually speak with the girl.

Body Type

✎Pen likes to take care of herself, she tends to keep busy with the chaotic house she lives in and with her work.

Skin Tone

✎Pale, blushes easily.

Complexion

✎ Freckles on the top of her nose, faint.

Birthmarks

✎She has a birthmark right under her rib-cage, someone once told her birthmarks are how you died in a past life, and she been convinced she was stabbed there ver since.

Scars

✎She has one large scar on her arm, a burn from back when the animal house began and she drunkenly tried to make stir-fry for everyone.

Cosmetics

✎It’s rare for someone to see Penelope with out her face done.

Outfit

✎She dress in a way that makes her look put together and classic. However she does step it up and go all out when going out on the town.

Accessories

✎She has a necklace from when she was little that never leaves her skin.

Body Modification

✎She has gotten lip fillers before and keeps up with them regularly.

Are they confident in the way they look:

✎Yes, Pen is secure in her appearance and takes pride in her looks.

~• •~

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”– Lao Tzu

General Temperament

✎Penelope is generally a bit cold off first impression, unless you’re close with her or are one of her students. However once she warms up to you the girl is very caring and attentive to your needs.

Happiness

✎Penelope finds her happiness through helping her students learn, she says theres nothing better than when a kid is struggling and then finally grasp the concepts, it is one of the most rewarding things to the girl and a big part of why she loves her job so much.

Sadness

✎There are many things that make the blonde sad, however only a few that really rock to her core. Poverty, kids coming in without supplies that are needed, and climate change are some of the more impersonal ones. Her family is 100% a home run of sadness.

Anger

✎Penelope gets angry when people are extremely reckless, which is ironic because she used to be the poster child for recklessness, I mean she is living in the animal house after all. But as she's grown up, the girl has done a big 360 and now is one of the most responsible people in the neighborhood. As she gotten to be the teacher to many of the children living around other close neighborhoods she finds it disrespectful when people are reckless outside of their own homes.

Confusion

✎Penelope is confused about what to do with her living situation. The girl wants to move and get a smaller place of her own but she knows some of her room-mates would fall off the deep end without the structure she brings to the house, and even though the girl puts on a tough mask, she is a softie at her core, especially for her room-mates who she deeply loves.

Favorites

Animal

✎She loves big cats. period.

Flower

✎forget-me-nots, when Pen was little the name used to make her cry, but they’ve come to be her favorite flower of all time.

Weather/Time of the day/Season

✎For someone living in California it’s hard to imagine her favorite weather not being clear and sunny; but yet, Pen likes the cold. Nothing makes her happier than when their little town finally starts to cool off a bit.

Food

✎Penelope is good a cooking, she can’t make anything extreme but she’s learned how to whip up a nice dinner and usually does so for her house.

Drink

✎Nothing makes Pen happier than a spiked lemon-aide.

Colour

✎Pink! If that isn’t obvious.

Country

✎All she has ever known is california, but the girl has always been fascinated by paris, hence why she took up french in college.

H͟a͟b͟i͟t͟s͟

Social skills

✎ Penelope is a natural at schmoozing and knowns how to put on charm when she wants to.

Insecurities

✎Penelope is insecure in that fact that she never feels proud of herself, her accomplishments never really feel like they’re enough and she is always striving to be useful or helpful to someone so she doesn’t get left behind. But she’d never say that out loud.

Hostility

✎Penelope tends to be very forward when she’s angry, but through working with elementary school kids she has learned how to calmly talk through her emotions, or so she tries.

Fears

✎Being completely useless.

Drives|Motivation

✎Penelope always feels like she has to prove herself, even if the only person she’s proving anything to is herself, and that keeps her driven and motivated.

Dreams|Aspirations

✎To have a family of her own and to make sure her students get the best education possible.

~• •~

First Words: ball

What emotions to the attribute to their childhood: rejection

Morning Person or Night Owl: morning person

Significant Childhood Memory: Pen’s parents bringing her and Prim to the amusement park because they both got straight As

Current Residence: Animal House

Occupation: Second grade teacher

What do they smell like: Vanilla and rose

What words or phrases do they overuse: “Okay- got it, thanks.”

Do they have a catch phrases: “Can you- not.”

What is their greatest accomplishment: Their job

What smells remind them of their childhood: The smell of pencils

What was their childhood ambition: To please her parents

Do they believe in love at first sight: No

Do they believe in true love: Yes

Have they ever had their heart broken: Yes

Are they ticklish: Very

Can they keep a secret: Absolutely

How do they display affection: Words of affirmation

Are they okay with PDA (Public Displays of affection): Yes, a tasteful amount

Are they a virgin: No

How do they want other people to view them: Successful

Are they competitive: Yes, very.

Deadly Sin : Envy

Heavenly Virtue: Diligence

Are they a minimalist or a hoarder: bit of a hoarder with classroom supplies

Where do they go to feel safe: in their room

Where do they go when they’re angry: the beach

What password do they use for everything: penpalpenny333

What is their favorite day of the week: wednesday

What do they keep in their pockets: spare erasers

What is their most treasured object: she has a necklace she wears 24/7

Do they have any pet peeves: slobs and slow walkers

How confident are they: 5/10

How generous are they: 10/10

How creative are they: 9/10

How honest are they: 6/10

How loyal are they: 8/10

Are they manipulative: She for sure can be but only if there is a calling for it

How predictable are they: Pen has her moments where the retired party animal will randomly appear but other than that her schedule is pretty regular

How do they flirt with people: by trying to appease them

Book smart or street smart: A healthy mix

Do they prefer being hot or cold: cold, pen loves the cool weather

What do they think is the worst thing you could do to another person: Abandon them

How do they deal with stress: By doing one million things at once

Are they comfortable crying in front of other: Only a select few, and even then its rather uncomfortable for her

What social justice issue would they be most passionate about: Proper education for less fortunate kids.

If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be: Pen would change her inner need to please and accommodate those around her.

Sexually Explicit Questions:

Are they a top or a bottom (Or do they switch): Definitely a secret bottom there is no doubt.

How important is sex to them: Like on a scale?? maybe a 6

Do they believe it is a mostly emotional act or a mostly physical act: Pen thinks it can be both

Turnons: Caring people, acts of service, when someone is trying not to smile.

Turnoffs: Ignorance, Toxic Masculinity, and people who hate children.

#os.intros #eee im so pumped #plzzz mssg me and plot w pen!!

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mikeyd1986 · 7 years

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MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 74, October 2017

“Laughter, song and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration or healing: We are not alone.” The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (p. 118)

On Tuesday morning, Mum and I joined along with the local walking group at Balla Balla Community Centre in Cranbourne East. Even at 9.30-10am, the temperature was already rising up to the mid-20’s and I could feel myself starting to sweat down my back. We went for an hour long walk around Casey Fields reserve and back again. I was feeling a bit socially disconnected and emotionally flat today, though getting some exercise and being out in nature did help a little.

I guess life can get pretty overwhelming for me sometimes and I can really only handle looking into the future in short-term bursts. My biggest concern is trying to find a sense of belonging with others. Financially, I’m only just getting by at the moment and writing out lists of expenses has really helped me. I have to break everything down into small, manageable components when it comes to bills and payments that are due. I just have to take one day at a time and believe that I will get through this.

On Tuesday night, I went down to YMCA Casey RACE for a Water Workout class and some hydrotherapy. This time I decided to be more prepared and brought along a drink bottle. I also decided to split my time up evenly between the steam room, spa and sauna. Of the three. the sauna is hands down the most mentally challenging for me. I’m still not used to the conditions of 70-100 degree dry heat, feeling my heart-rate elevating and trying to keep myself relaxed and hydrated. I know my limits and 10 minutes was more than enough for me tonight. But with more regular visits, I’m sure that my body will tolerate the heat easier. https://www.livestrong.com/article/...

Tonight’s Water Workout class with facilitated by an instructor named Susie and it was packed with about 18 people participating. We used a combination of noodles and underwater dumbbells in parts of the class. I found it difficult keeping my balance and co-ordination in check tonight but I was still doing my best and laughing along with the rest of the ladies. We did the usual exercises of jogging, donkey kicks, rock ‘n’ roll, side and back kicks, jumping, running on the spot and push-ups on the edge of the pool. https://www.livestrong.com/article/...

On Wednesday morning, I had my Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. It’s not secret that I wasn’t myself today at all. Even with that false veneer on my face, it wasn’t enough to mask how I was truly feeling inside. Though I did receive a couple of friendly greetings from the trainers, my self-esteem was just far too low for it to make a positive impact on me. But I made the effort to be here so that’s something.

WARM-UP...Today I started with my Y-T-I stretches on the bench before massaging into the shoulders, lats and collar bones with the rubber ball. The awkward tension between myself and Luke had returned and I wasn’t coping well with it at all. In fact, my mind was having a field day (Why haven’t I got anything exciting to talk to Luke about? Clearly he must think I’m boring. He barely cracks a smile whenever he’s training me).

DEVELOPMENT...Today I worked on doing 5 rounds of 12 reps, dumbbell presses at 30kg as well as 5 rounds of 8 single arm rows at 22.5kg. I was struggling heaps today and my fragile mental state certainly wasn’t helping matters. I was getting myself really upset and frustrated especially after the third round or so. The fatigue in my arms was just too much to handle and I kept dropping the weights. It was embarrassing. I was thinking “What’s wrong with me today? I feel like a failure.” But the positive was that I kept trying over and over again until I finished those reps.

WORKOUT...Today I did a 10 minute AMRAP of the following exercises: 200m run, 5 ring rows, 10 push ups and 15 squats. I was already shaking and fatigued from the dumbbell presses that I really didn’t know how long I was going to last with this workout. It was another tough mental battle for me but I basically did what I could. I don’t think Luke knows exactly how to handle me whenever I’m feeling depressed like I was today. And it’s not his fault at all. Just wasn’t my best session today. Hopefully the next one will be better.

On reflection, perhaps Luke was right in saying that my performance wasn’t as bad as my negative mental state was making out. I really did nail my ring rows and squats during the workout. I think that I am gradually improving overall with the push-ups. I just think that I need more practice and more confidence in doing them. Hence why Luke decided to set me some homework in doing 3 rounds of 10 push-ups. It’s the only way I’m going to get better at doing them and not have so much fear about failing reps. https://www.facebook.com/breakawayf...

On Thursday lunchtime, I went to an RPM class at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. There comes a point when I’m home by myself that I simply can’t cope and I physically need to get out of the house for the sake of my sanity. So I decided to do just that and gave myself some “me-time” at Casey Arc with half an hour of hydrotherapy and half an hour of RPM cycling. Considering how I’ve been feeling this week, I really need to look after myself better and implement self-care strategies back into my routine.

The RPM class was pretty small with only about 6-8 people but I wasn’t surprised being lunchtime. It was technically an express class...so five tracks instead of the usual seven or eight. But that’s also meant an increase in intensity. There were a couple of tracks that involved Interval Training (Chicane - Poppiholla) and some more easy ride/medium intensity tracks (Katy Perry - Teenage Dream). I could feel the burn in my knees, thighs and glutes pretty quickly today but I did what I could, averaging around 78-80 RPM. https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/f...

On Friday morning, I had my potentially last ever session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. Things started off on a high note. I walked into UFT PLAYgrounds with a positive attitude, feeling optimistic about today’s session and saying hi at the trainers as I got myself ready. But things quickly descended from there. I tried hard to explain to Luke what was on my mind but it felt like everything fell on deaf ears. He wasn’t understanding me at all and that’s not really his fault. Even I know how complicated and hard to figure out I am. I just set my expectations far too high and walked away feeling emotionally exhausted and misunderstood.

WARM-UP...So the start of my session actually went pretty well. I did various yoga stretches and holds for 2 minutes each including camel pose, cobra pose and scorpion pose. I reminded myself to breathe into the areas that were sore and embrace that discomfort. I decided to think about how ridiculous Kameron from the Real Housewives of Dallas looked in her bright pink vest and huge Louis Vuitton handbags which helped me to get through the pain.

DEVELOPMENT...Today I did 5 rounds of 12 front squats at 40kg. I was struggling a lot at the start as the bar kept slipping off my shoulders and put a lot of pressure on my wrists. And of course because I wasn’t doing it right, I started to get really hard on myself. Plus my mind was just overwhelmed by thoughts...mostly about what Luke thinks about me, whether I’m a good enough client, have I done anything wrong, does he even care about me. There’s been an obvious shift during the last couple of weeks and now I just can’t handle it anymore.

WORKOUT...Today’s workout involved a 100 calorie sprint on the assault bike. It was pretty tough but manageable. I wisely try to keep to a steady, consistent pace the whole time so that I didn’t burn out too quickly. As much as I was proud of this achievement, I still walked away from the session feeling empty and upset. I asked myself the most important question...”Is training with Luke doing my emotional well-being any good?” Nope!

So I basically decided then and there that I needed to take a break from him. It’s not his fault, it’s just not working for me anymore and I’m not enjoying it. Maybe I need to move on. Who knows? I’m not going to make any rash decisions right now. But I do know that continuing the way I am is not doing my mental health any good.

“So never look back, go where you're going to. I waited a lifetime for you. So cut me some slack, I wanna see all of you. I never hold back from the truth.” Liam Gallagher - I Get By (2017)

“There's no time for looking back. Thanks for all your support. Slow down, all things must pass. Take your time, know the score. It's not goodbye. So dry your eyes. Come rain or shine. I've all I need and more.” Liam Gallagher - I’ve All I Need (2017)

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jay-and-dean · 4 years

Text

I don’t need you Chapter 2 : Freaking super hero

Dean x reader

Summary : She’s a warrior, she’s a loner. Nothing can stop her, nothing ever had. She doesn’t need Dean, does she ?

This is a request by @magssteenkamp that I decided to turn to a serie, see the original request on the serie Masterlist.

Serie Warnings : Swearing (duh). Mention of death. Smut, probably all kind from rough to fluffy, I’ll precise in the chapters if there are specific warnings. Fluff. Angst of course.

Chapter warnings : Swearing (duh). Mention of death. A tiny hint of jealous Dean.

Words : 3k

Note : I’ll try to stick to the 3k rule, like for Rescue You

If everything goes as planned, you’ll get one chapter every wednesday (Thanks to @magssteenkamp, I call it WednesJay, lol. Sorry okay, I shut up).

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

*** I don’t need you MASTERLIST***

__________________________

2. FREAKING SUPER HERO

Dean’s Pov

All the lights. This apartment is big, and its windows are too. I look at the regular shadows of the metallic lines of the windows that divide her bedroom door into bended squares.

She offered us to stay at her place, opened the sofa bed, and disappeared behind that door. I just can’t sleep, again. I try to imagine I’m in my bedroom in the bunker, or on Baby’s backseat, but everything is so new to me here. I lost my bearings.

I stare around, my eyes wide open, now used to the weak darkness. Is it possible that she’s just better than us ? Like more up-to-date, trained by the cruelty of huge cities ? How can she do this alone ?

The walls are covered in those research papers, and, after a while, in the middle of this organized mess, my own name catches my eyes.

I get up in silence, trying not to make the mattress move too much, to let my brother sleep. Is it California that made him so insensible to lights and noises at night ? Maybe…

“Dean Winchester is a demon.” I frown, it’s a printing of a mail she got from someone called thathunter87, she hung it here and made a red line between that and a stolen page of a grimoire about demon cure. Why ?

On the table under all those articles and notes on the wall, a long desk, covered in books, notebooks and folders. It’s like she had hundreds of hunter journals, one for each subject.

Discreetly going through them, I find one called “Winchesters” and a shiver runs down my spine but the thought attached to it never reaches my brain. I open it. There are no photos, just mails from thathunter87 and pages of those Supernatural stupid books.

My eyes widen suddenly, and my heart misses a beat. Next to pieces of the books and a sketch of our anti-possession tattoo scribbled like she was thinking hard, a few words : Was John abusive to Dean ?

“Trouble sleeping ?” a whisper makes me jump.

I turn and my breath gets caught in my throat.

She’s standing in the door frame, an oversized Hocus Pocus t-shirt hiding her upper thighs, and nothing covering her legs.

She looks so different now. Almost… cute. Her worn out t-shirt falling childishly like thin drape on her body, her face freed from any makeup and her hair going in every directions. I can’t help but imagine a morning after…

She walks to me, pushing her messy hair out of her face. And I’m so caught up in this vision that I forget to hide what I was looking at.

“Oh… I’m sorry” she murmurs, taking the notebook out of my hands. “I know it’s not my business.”

I have no idea what to answer despite the thousands questions flying in my skull, and just keep searching her face, loudly cursing at myself in my head.

“How do you know us ?” I finally say low, my pupils dilating at the ray of the night light hitting her collarbone and I try to fight the electric feeling giving me goosebumps.

“Well, the Supernatural books saved my life” her whisper feels like her nails were grazing my back.

“How ?” I dare, my curiosity getting the best of me.

She chuckles but a shadow crosses her face, a shadow of fear and pain, something weak and lonely, everything she usually hides so well.

“Dark days… I… I lived in the street a long time ago” she looks down. “I needed to believe in heroes I guess.”

Her smile is soft and kind for a second, making me almost believe I could take her in my arms, like an old friend, like a lover. But she sighs, and it’s like she had breathe out everything soft, her eyes become stern and her neck straighten.

“Jimmy doesn’t whine too much ?” she asks, pointing at the laundry room with her chin.

“Not a sound” I assure her, and she smiles dangerously.

“I threatened him a lot.”

Reader’s Pov

I walk to the laundry and open the door.

“Ah good you’re there” Jimmy starts right away, making the chair creak. “I-…”

But I cut him.

“One more word and you will regret it, Jimmy. Remember what I said : If my guests sleep bad because of you, I cut your cock, to see if it grows back on an immortal.”

I close the door and give Dean a little corner smile.

Sam grunts and turn in the sofa, taking all the cover with him. I chuckle and take a glass of water from the kitchen sink.

“Sleep, Dean, tomorrow will be a long day” I murmur walking back to my room, hoping my own thoughts will stop harassing me.

*******

I get up and grab my clothes, lazily walking to the bathroom. On my way to it, my eyes glance at the brothers on my sofa, Dean is still not sleeping.

He looks at me in silence, his piercing eyes following me when I cross the room, but I don’t say a word to him. I know he’s familiar with nightmares, he would hear it in my voice.

Having them here somehow brought bad memories. It’s a paradox : They saved me from very bad moments in my life, but meeting them makes me think a lot about those dark times, and since I know they’re in town, my own demons are screaming at me. Or maybe knowing I will see Holloway tonight…

I enter the bathroom and put my clothes on the chair next to the shower. I have to be prepared. In the shower I repeat my plan in my head. I have nothing left to lose, so nothing can end worse than it already is. If I feed, if I become a vampire, I know the Winchesters will end me, and I would finally die peacefully, knowing at least I tried. If I miss Holloway, I will have him next time… If I just die, well it will be over, at last.

Sam and Dean will try to talk me out of it, I know that, and I’ll have to be very firm, because they can’t make that mission fail. There was a time when I needed heroes, now I don’t.

The shower turns cold again, ripping me out of my thoughts, I grunt and rinse quickly under the familiar freezing jet.

Naked, I look at the mirror, using the sight of my scars to focus my anger. This is the cut they made on me to taste my blood, after they killed my family… my finger graze the little straight scar on my arm ; this one is the knife cut I got from that rape attempt when I was in the streets. This is fangs, I hate this one.

Then the transformation starts.

Like every day, I put on my mask : The outfit I use to remember who I am, and to forget who I was.

I feel like putting on an armor the second I start to draw my eye-liner cat’s eye line. And by the time I tighten the ribbons of my corset hard, nothing in me is vulnerable anymore. My back is straight and held, my eyes are dark…

I’m going to kill them all.

Dean’s Pov

She comes out of the bathroom, dressed like that warrior she is, tough and sexy, transformed, unrecognizable, like a freaking super hero.

But I will never forget the cute girl I saw last night.

“I have coffee” she says when Sam sits up, looking around like he was wondering for a second where he was. “And I can make eggs, I don’t want my side kicks to be hungry.”

Her voice sounds slightly different on the word “hungry” and, knowing she lived in the street, I guess she knows what truly hungry is…

I nod and Sam thank her but she’s already in the kitchen. I get up, joining her behind the counter to help her with anything she would need. The truth is, I just want to be around.

I notice a man big jacket on a chair and wonder who she could invite here, despite hunters. Is she really alone ? Does she have friends ? Lovers ?...

“I have no sugar” she states sternly.

And once again, I’m mute, taking the mug she hands me to break eggs in an old pan.

Suddenly, the walls tremble and the power goes off, the only light she had turn on going off, and the few device she has dying. She sighs but keeps cooking on her gas stove like it was nothing.

“Your stomach is noisy” she chuckles.

“Sorry” I mumble, making her raise an eyebrow.

She puts the plates on her coffee table with two cups of coffee, going back to the kitchen to take a mug for herself. Only two plates.

“You don’t eat ?” Sam asks.

“I don’t like eggs” she shrugs. “And I have nothing else, I’ll buy something later.”

“I can go to buy you something” I state, really uncomfortable with her not eating with us.

“Eat, Dean. I can handle myself.”

A knock on the door makes Sam and I frown.

Keeping her coffee cup in her hand, she grabs her gun, puts it in her belt in her back, and walks to the door. Sam and I get up, even if we can’t see the main door from here, we’re ready to fight.

“Hey Y/n. Was it the Winchesters ?” a man voice greets her.

Y/n…

“Yeah. There are no more eggs, I gave them the ones you bought” she answers.

“You feed them now ?” the man mocks. “I bought you a chocolate muffin.”

Why does that annoys me ?

She appears in the room again, followed by this guy, Joe, the bartender. He’s a very tall –Sammy tall- strong guy with long blond hair in a bun. Freaking hipster.

When he sees us, he frowns, and look at her like she was insane.

“What are they doing here ?” he asks, making my brother raise his eyebrows at his rudeness. “Wait, Y/n, did they sleep here ?”

“I invited them” she shrugs, sitting to unwrap her chocolate muffin. “Sam, Dean, this is Joe. Joe, bla bla.”

I can’t help smiling at her attitude, but Joe doesn’t. It’s like he didn’t want us to be here, like he was threatened by us somehow… And it suddenly hits me. The chocolate muffin, the things he “forgets” at her place, the worry.

He’s in love with her.

“I have to buy a few things for tonight” she states, ripping a little part of the muffin between her fingers, to slip it between her lips, licking her index a little when chocolate stick on her skin.

“Do you want me to come with you ?” Joe immediately says and I have to blink to not roll my eyes.

“No” she states, then she turns to Sam. “You already made the cure for your brother, I heard.”

“Y-yeah” Sam hesitates. “But are you sure…”

“Then” she cuts him. “Could you prepare it while I’m out ? I already have all the ingredients… And Jimmy.”

“What are you talking about Y/n ? You’re not doing it ? Tell me you’re not doing it.” Joe asks, looking around and she sighs, getting up.

“Okay listen” she states. “All of you. If you have something to say about my plan, you can walk out the door now. I can do this alone. I don’t need you.”

She puts the rest of the muffin in Joe’s hands and take her coat.

“I’ll be here in a few hours, don’t kill Jimmy accidentally with day light, and don’t, well… I don’t know, be stupid. Sam, the ingredients are on the sill, and if you don’t want to do the cure, just… Okay” she says before she leaves, a silence falling on us.

*******

I don’t like Joe, the guy stayed with us for no reason, like he wanted to survey us.

Sam is looking in the box, trying to find a bowl to mix them. And the bartender and I are left practically staring at each other.

“Did you guys convinced her it was a good idea ?” he finally speaks.

“What do you mean ?” I grunt. “Of course not ! This is a terrible idea. I should go, not her.”

Sam lifts his head form the bowl and looks at me with a disapproving frown.

“She will kill you” Joe chuckles darkly. “You have no idea how bad she needs to get them, you have no idea what she’s been through.”

“Well, I won’t let her get killed by those freaks” I state.

“Dean…” my brother speaks. “She knows them way better than we do, this is her plan, her hunt. I think she knows what she’s doing, and you’ve seen her… She’s a great hunter.”

I sit down, sighing, rubbing my face with both hands. Am I supposed to stay there, watching her run to her death ?

Reader’s Pov

I take another sip of whiskey, letting the smooth notes of blues wrap me in the comfortable atmosphere of the small bar. I knew Joe would stay with them, and looking behind the bar, I give his colleague a little smile.

I sigh with the little bottle in my hand, making the thick poisonous liquid redden the sides of the glass.

I can’t go back to my apartment. They must already be making plans to force me to stay home. I know them. In a way I Know the three of them.

Joe is my friend, and I know he thinks we should be more than that, those ideas of “saving” me spoiling his mind for years, like I was some kind of precious bird with broken wings.

I am not.

I’m not broken or damaged. I’m just furious, a storm of rage boiling in my veins. And he can keep his fairy tales for him. Unconditional love is not going to save me. I told him that, and refusing any kind of proximity with him, I think I made it very clear. But he will always try to save me.

And the Winchesters… They are heroes. Self-sacrifice is burned in their genes. They are as determined to protect everyone they meet, as I am to kill Holloway.

The early winter night is announcing its rise with a pink ink in the city sky. I finish my glass and take my phone.

Did Sam prepare the cure ? I send to Joe.

I get up and walk to the bathroom to check my look on the mirror. Arranging my hair, I practice my smile. It has to be innocent, charming and seductive.

He did. We have to ad Jimmy’s blood but only once you’re turned. Oh God, please don’t do that. Why didn’t you come back ? Where are you ? The night is almost there, and the Winchesters are sneaky. I stayed with them to make sure they don’t rummage through your stuff, but they’re asking questions. Why did you let them stay at your apartment in the first place ? Joe answers in four messages in a row.

Because I don’t really care.

I put money on the counter and greet the woman behind it, getting out.

Dead man’s blood capsules in my purse, my vampire killing knife in my boot, another thin slightly longer blade in back along my spine. The magical burning oil in its little flask. That’s all I can take with me. I stuff my purse with lipsticks, random keys, foundation powder and other useless things, in case someone looked into it.

I will drop my guns and other weapons in the trash cans outside the club. I already spent two hours looking at it to be prepared. I know every entrances.

It’s time.

I walk to the alley I slept in so many nights. I don’t know why I chose to do it here, probably because I so often thought I would die here. It’s smaller than I remember, darker too.

On the wall, the drawing I had made, the anti-possession tattoo my heroes wore in their skin. I was sure it would protect me from my own demons, I was so sure it would. I used to put my hand on it when hunger made me so weak I couldn’t stand, when cold was biting my skin ; and when despair was beating me up, telling myself it would make me go through the night.

At least I thought it helped. The truth is, I was alone, and I was the only one fighting all this, the only one that could help me.

I put my finger on it.

“I met the Winchesters” I whisper to the girl I was, to the childhood that died here, wishing I could hear that in the past. “They’re even more handsome than you thought” I half smile, fighting the tears. “But they are not going to save you. You are. It ends tonight.”

Taking the little bottle in my hand, I close my eyes for a second. I hate vampires. I have to focus on that, I have to be strong, and merciless.

If I become a vampire for good. They have to kill me. I send Joe.

Then I open the flask and drink it in one go.

Dean’s Pov

“She answered !” Joe exclaims, getting up to read her long-awaited text.

When he frowns, my heart starts to beat faster. She never came back and now night is here. I’m going nuts, I can’t just stay on this stupid couch.

“She…” the bartender says, but he doesn’t finish, just showing us the text.

Sam runs to the laundry door and opens it.

“Did she take your blood ?” he almost yells and my pupils dilate.

When the vampire chuckles darkly, Sam turns to us.

She’s already gone.

________________________

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