#am i insane am i genuinely having memory problems am i the weird one

[bylertruther]

when will said it was "strange knowing who it was this whole time" and "he's hurt, he's hurting, but he's still alive" was he not talking about henry? am i insane? did i misinterpret that scene? why are we acting like will is connected to anyone other than henry bro what is Happening 😭

that was henry that shaped the mind flayer into that spider-like form and it was henry that used it to possess will and it was henry's thoughts that will was experiencing against his will and it's henry that he's still feeling because the connection/"vecna's curse" hasn't been broken. they physically extracted the mind flayer from will's body, yes, but his connection to henry was never broken. henry can't exercise complete and total control over people without the mind flayer's power, which is why will has free will over his body but his mind remains connected to henry.

the characters, and by extension the viewers, thought it was the mind flayer behind everything, because they didn't know what season four revealed to us.

henry wanted to control will's mind and body—a complete and entire violation of everything will is. that was Not the mind flayer, and they tell us that more than once. with all love and respect what are some of you on about because you're starting to make me feel like my memory is genuinely broken or something lmao like i thought.... the big reveal was that it's always been henry? they literally say that? eleven, henry, and will all confirm it? the mind flayer was not a separate entity acting alone... thus will has beef with henry most of all because henry's violation of his mind and body is still ongoing... Where Are You Guys Getting Your Information From 😭 hELP

will's rape—because that's what possession is, he never consented to having his mind and body controlled by anyone else—is an important part of stranger things; both to the general plot and will's character. to say that will only has beef with the mind flayer and not henry is reducing what henry did to him and reassigning blame that very much falls on henry's shoulders. henry was controlling the mind flayer and henry is the one still in will's mind. henry used the mind flayer to have control over will. henry and will are connected. the show literally tells us that over and over again. when you decide to needlessly reassign blame, not only are you misunderstanding and misconstruing the plot, but you're also... not understanding what happened to will at all. like, what really happened to him and how that's used in the show.

henry very likely was the one that kidnapped will. henry is the one that will has a psychic connection to. henry is the one that raped will / possessed him if you prefer that term instead and used the mind flayer to do it. henry is the one that will still knows like the back of his hand, because henry is the one that's still in his head. it's not the mind flayer. it's henry. please stop saying that will doesn't have more than enough reason to want to kill his ass. please!!!

#rape tw #rape mention #triggering myself on main like a fucking dumbass but the worms in my brain are holding on to this one n gnawing at it #am i insane am i genuinely having memory problems am i the weird one #eleven and will can both kill his ass but don't act like henry isn't the one that ruined his life i'm— #i feel very strongly abt this bc i just feel like you Can't reassign blame in rape cases u have to see it for what it is #they're literally fake but. please don't try to absolve bad people like that #they're characters not people i know but. please don't do that lol. henry is a bad guy for many reasons and eleven and will BOTH have #reasons to merc his ass. we can say that it's okay we're not taking anything away from eleven by acknowledging the plot and the #actions that the characters have made like i promise u no one is forgetting eleven who is literally the biggest character on the show #it doesn't matter but also it Does matter to me bc we don't always see rape victims on tv shows or movies that are treated like will #and it just makes me sad when like. stuff that happens in real life (abusers getting off scot free) happens in fiction. bc its like ok cool #not even in the fictional world can there be justice huh lmao cool cool cool very cool and awesome and great love it #actually no im gonna say it bro yes henry tried to kill eleven twice but like. he literally raped will. so yeah i think will deserves the #final blow bro idc. idc idc idc will has to live with that for the rest of his life he has to remember what it felt like and what all he #did under henry's control like. he deserves it. let him maul his ass let him fireball him to the pits of hell idc idc everyone else go home

[mr-payjay]

feel free to complain to me about the ii finale <3 i'm all ears

thank you ellie :)

fair warning for ii neg, especially on the latest episode.

prefacing this with saying: I LOVE INANIMATE INSANITY!!!!!! inanimate insanity is my favourite show in the world and every episode leaves me full of joy and excitement. i adore criticizing it not out of hatred but out of genuine love. i enjoy every single episode i watch.

however, i find that iii19 has been the worst episode so far. it has gotten me the least hyped out of any episode in the series, which is saying a lot because i bounce off the walls at every episode no matter how much i end up criticizing it later. there are. so many problems i have with it. im gonna try and organize them the best i can, though i'll probably(?) edit this post later to insert anything i missed or forgot to say.

starting off positively: oj!!!! personally i am so glad he didn't talk in this episode. i was terrified of the idea of him having a new va. the spin was adorable, i loved his signature thumbs ups, and every time i saw him i squealed with delight. him voting for balloon also made me really happy! despite the grudge he's had against him for so long, he still sticks with him on this part. even after laughing at his death the episode before that

in general all the seasonwunners voted for balloon!! which makes me happy!!! paintbrush, nickel, balloon, and oj have all been there for the very beginning of season 1, three of them being there for every season. i love the inherent connection the contestants from season 1 have with each other. they've been together since inanimate insanity began and they're there for the end of season 3 too. very sweet.

onto more negative stuff! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID WITH SILVER SPOON AND CANDLEEE they set up something crazy in the last episode and then did NOTHING with it!!! they had silver spoon beat candle unconscious the second she said something that wasn't coddling him like the manchild he is and she STILL voted for him. where even was she for half of the episode?? they just left her lifeless corpse on the ground in iii18 and then she eventually got up in this episode and just. went back to the competition??? dogshit writing

okay now i wanna talk about cabby. I Don't Like Cabby Anymore. so from the very beginning i have loved cabby. she was extremely similar to me in fact! i have really bad memory issues and i tend to keep files on people and on things that i might forget about, as well as just to organize my thoughts and ideas. i loved her confidence, obsession with knowledge, and analytical personality at the start. i was pretty upset when the characters (mostly test tube lmao) started relentlessly bullying her, and i HATE the whole thing in spring on the breakfast where they try to demonize her files. it was kind of annoying when they tried to remedy it really quickly after that because it was clearly because of the backlash, but i was glad they at least tried to fix it. however, over the course of the series, she just felt like she was... becoming sadder? pitiful, honestly? she went from an awesome smart character who loved taking notes on people's behaviour and using that information to get better at the game into some kind of Sad Little Bullied Victim. she doesn't even feel like a character anymore to me, just a mouthpiece for the creators to write dramatic "cathartic" speeches through to prove they're Definitely Not Ableist. also what was the deal with her parents lmao they never brought that up again

aaaand this episode was generally written really badly. super fucking corny for one. they literally had a little dance party at the end like people make jokes about for stereotypical Kids' Shows. but my issue is more with like... the weird super fast character development? and the way they wrapped everything up as quickly as possible? something that bothered me was the tonal whiplash between zuwie voicing springy super hysterically and dramatically and then springy being fully redeemed within like the next 5 minutes and dying for mephone. Why did they even die for mephone. like as a character why would he of all people die for mephone. thats so fucking stupid. the rest of the voice acting felt completely different from springy's as well so it just made the effect worse. everyone's lines were really corny and felt so manufactured, like they would pull characters to mephone's side (losing my mind over all the contestants rooting for mephone like cmon man that guy sucks i just know oj at least would want him dead) with a short Cathartic Speech and everything would be fixed and lovely and peachy keen. its just painful to watch. everything feels really weirdly disjointed and badly put together, the flow is awful, the "danger" doesn't feel like there's any suspense to it at all, and every character gets fully redeemed for no good reason. even walkie talkie chats casually with mephone at the end as if they're good friends after they were HYSTERICALLY INSISTING ON MURDERING HIM? AND MAKING HIM WATCH HIS OWN DEATH?? idk if this will get explained in s2 but we still don't know who walkie talkie is, what their motive is, WHY they got redeemed, etc. we know nothing about them. and even if it will be explained later, i think it's shitty writing that NOTHING was explained in this season.

some extra stuff

- SO FUCKING GLAD THEY DIDN'T BRING HOTEL OJ INTO THIS I WOULD'VE CRIED IF THEY PUT SEASON 3 CHARACTERS INTO HOTEL OJ OR MADE IT ALL SLEEK AND S3 STYLE

- the "you can do this" thing at the end was fucking stupid man that was so corny (btw corny isn't always bad but jesus christ... this episode was just awful with it)

- could not feel any emotion towards the Emotional Parts but laughter and secondhand embarrassment

- HOW DID THEY GET THE FUNDING FOR A LIBRARY? I THOUGHT THE PROBLEM WAS THAT MEPHONE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING FOR A PRIZE HOW DID HE PAY FOR AN ENTIRE LIBRARY

- speaking of, why isn't oj back at the hotel. doesn't he have to manage it. wasn't paper having a ton of trouble managing it. why are all of them still on that fuckass island. did the library take like 5 minutes to build what the fuck

- ALSO!!! Why did they build a library in the middle of a deserted island

- i liked the short nickloon scene because im a nicklooner

- glad yinyang and candle got to talk

- test tube saying nearly nothing at all the entire episode except for sitting on the ground in a really stupid pose and apologizing to cabby made me laugh

- weirded out by tt and fan not talking to each other at all? not as a ship thing but like they're best friends aren't they

- really fucking annoyed by the fantube family picture at the end i hate fantube family leave that grown ass adult (bot) alone

- glad they didn't canonize any ships i was so scared about silvercandle and fantube

- 4s scene and s1 flashback was cool i love s1 so i got excited

- aaaaand i think my misogyny thread is relevant again. i should update it sometime because ii has only gotten worse about it lmao

- didn't like them making clover stupid for some reason like "is he talking about me?" come on

- oj not talking in these last two episodes is so glaringly unusual because he's never been able to shut his fucking mouth for even a minute

#juice.txt #ii neg #ii spoilers #i love this show but jesus fucking christ #absolute dogshit writing its so embarrassing

[youthnighttarot]

Umm…..so like tf going on? (What’s happening to you right now) PAC

Pile 1

Cards Pulled: FoC, KoS, SoSwrv

Reading: What I’m getting from what’s happening right now is some form of loss, grief or trauma that you’re focusing on. You may be carrying this emotional burden with and this could be causing some form of instability within your life. You need to build a routine and not just any routine a routine based around you and what brings you true happiness. You may need to have a conversation with someone who is responsible for this or even with yourself. Find the strength within yourself stand your ground fully and wholeheartedly. Some people are unwilling to change and you can’t use that as an excuse why you let them treat you the way that they do. You may have recently gone through a relationship separation whether it may be romantic, platonic, or familial. Don’t allow them to take you for granted. You are not going to heal overnight it is going to take some time and you have to be comfortable with that. Sometimes you may slip back but don’t allow that to become a pattern an later another bad habit. You may be detaching yourself from personal matters thinking of things that make you or made you feel guilty. You also have to be willing to change even if that means cutting people off. Create some self-discipline within your schedule and your time. You need some self-care ASAP. Relax and allow yourself to breathe your so tight and anxious and this only causes more stress and pain to your mental state. For those who have been wronged the bases revenge especially for those who have been monetarily abused…the best revenge is your paper 💰💅🏾. You really need to clear your mind and space pile one it’s almost suffocating this is not good at all. So I got the sugar baby card and the message I was most drawn to is “you need to get more independent…help yourself”. I need really getting this has to do with you it’s more so someone else….however if you feel this resonates with you then this is your message. This person more than likely constantly take from you and would rather use you than love you or give to you. This person needs to help their damn selves it’s not your responsibility to take care of a grown ass selves. Stop allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by this person or your current situation. It’s not helping and if you continue down this road it will continue to delay the am healing you desperately need. You definitely need to reconnect with your inner child because your beginning to lose yourself it’s as if your inner child barely knows who you are anymore. Talk to your inner child they need you to tell them everything is going to be ok. That you’ll get through and one day this nightmare will be a distant memory. This person or possibly you deserves and Oscar for the performance that they put on…it’s actually ridiculous. The literal fucking gaslighting that they do is utterly insane. Who would have the audacity and nerve to use someone trauma against them and even if that specific scenario doesn’t resonate…this person definitely gaslights you and it’s honestly weird….because you seem to be a genuine person and they see that as a way to use you or they take as an opportunity to

Advice from spirit: You need to heed these spiritual warnings because it will lead you to utter chaos if you don’t. You have the angel number 44 {“Angel Number 44 brings a message that you are being surrounded by helpful, loving angels who wish to bring you peace of mind and joy of heart. Angel Number 44 indicates that you are being given support and encouragement along your path, and when faced with an obstacle, rest assured that your angels are most willing to assist. Be assured that solutions to any issues or problems will soon be revealed. Angel Number 44 is a message that the angels and Archangels are with you, encouraging and guiding you. They are offering you inner-strength and support to enable you to get the work done that you need to in order to attain and achieve your goals and aspirations. They know and understand that you have been toiling diligently towards your goals, and encourage you to continue on your current path to achieve the success and results you desire. Work with the angels to ensure success in all of your endeavours.”} You need to absolutely do more work within the 3D realm because you have a lot of support from the 5D your team is supporting they got you. For some of you could be an air sign or you may have it in your chart. Or you may need to stop detaching and ground yourself some of you have been quite aloof lately almost lethargic. And all in all you need to relax pile 1 allow yourself to truly heal you need it.

Pile 2

Cards Pulled: 4oPrv, 2oWrv, KnoWrv

Reading: Pile 2 you are walking away from the old your shedding that old residue in a corner and leaving it. You may have spent so much of your time in the past giving to other people. Putting other people before yourself. They “y’all eat before I fix my plate mentality“ you were too open, and too generous to people who didn’t deserve it. Deep down you know this but may have chosen to ignore it. (Tbh this may be pile 1 after you heal for some of you) Your leaving behind this reckless behaviors. You were scared of changing that if you made the decision there was no turning back. But now you refuse the mu and not allowing yourself to be held back because of your past. Again I’m getting there were a lot reckless things you’ve in your past you or this person may have been careless, violent, loud and overwhelming obnoxious. You or this person had shown zero self discipline don’t allow people to put a chip on your shoulder and or don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder. You need a blank slate pile 2 or you’re starting a new beginning in your life where you start over. Again I’m getting in your past you may have had a lot of problems because of risky decisions you’ve made. Now is also not the time to make risky choices take some time to think it through. Is it really worth the risk that your taking if yes go for but if you feel deep down it isn’t don’t go for it. You don’t want to rush into things without any insight going in. Your life path number could be 11, 22, 33, or 44. Or those my be numbers that could pop up often around you. But you’re learning new things about yourself…taking new journeys that will lead to your life path journey. You can never give up or fail at what’s destined for you. So CONFIRMATION you already knew what was up with this person deep down but you ignored your feeling/intuition but now you definitely know why you felt the way you felt at the beginning. For some of you, you were dealing with a dust bucket and you had to get the hell out of dodge cuz they were on some next shit. And for the rest this person had red flags all up and through them but you that you could “fix” them. They may have interfered with your summer last year and caused a lot of real problems for you. This summer is gonna be different ain’t nothing gonna break your stride. (Go listen to that song 🎧)

Advice from Spirit: You took your healing path one day at a time…and it paid off. But you still have to make an ongoing effort to continue along this line because it will not always be easy. With tenth house energies coming out there could be a big career move happening or something having to do with recognition and financial stability. Also look into your natal 10th house as well as transit for April that may also give you some insight. You have angel numbers 134 and 33 popping out {“Be Keen On Your Physical And Mental Well-being.Angel number 134 comes with a message from your guardian angel that you are working effortlessly to realize your desires and goals. However, it also reminds you that you should not abandon your well-being to achieve your goals. Try as much as possible to get a balance between your health and your hardworking lifestyle. You can do so by altering your hardworking lifestyle to fit in some time to catch your breathe and relax.” “Master Number (Master Teacher) and resonates with the energies of compassion, blessings, inspiration, honesty, discipline, bravery and courage. Number 33 tells us that ‘all things are possible’. 33 is also the number that symbolizes ‘guidance’. The Master Number 33 is connected to the Ascended Masters, and the repeating Angel Number 33 is a message that many Ascended Masters surround you and are offering their assistance. All you need to do is ask, as the Ascended Masters are waiting to answer your prayers.

Read more at: https://trustedpsychicmediums.com/angel-numbers/angel-number-134-meaning-and-symbolism/

Pile 3

Cards Pulled: 2oCrv, AoS, Justicerv

Readings: You may have ended a partnership or relationship that was causing a lot of disharmony within your life. There wasn’t a lot of balance between you and this person or group of people. You may have constantly been in arguments with one another. This person was really unfair to you pile 3 and I’m sorry for that. You may have even lost a couple of friendships behind this person. You are finally seeing this person through a clear mind or you and this person could have had a breakthrough with each other and been able to communicate but that only feel like that’s for a few of you. For a lot of you thought you’re finally seeing the truth about this person or group of people’s true self…how unfair they treated you how they never took accountability for being wrong but somehow could always point out when you were in the wrong. The hypocrisy of it all 🙄. You’re creating new plans and ideas without them and they probably can’t stand it. You able to see the truth for the first time and since then you never went back. There’s a pattern of mental clarity in all these piles so feel free to look at another one if you resonated with. You are finally receiving justice for everything you went through…..the scales are finally balance. You are now a force to be reckoned with nobody is gonna challenge your worth again. Take some time off and relax binge watch that series you’re always talking about or finish that book you’ve been looking at for months. Illusion from your past may be brought back up and this will be a testament to your will and strength. Though you went through this now is not the time to retreat in a shell entirely go out meet new people. Have a fling or two but most importantly heal yourself from within so that it may shine on the outside. Remember who you are and others will act accordingly. Yea so you know you don’t even have to worry and if you don’t now you know. This person is about to have all their shit aired out but whom I don’t know when I also don’t know but I hear soon. You need to let go of trying to fix everything and everyone….you can’t fix what’s already broken. Let the past go the longer you keep trying to fix it the more you will regress. You may be asking yourself why this person or group of people would even act this way. “WHAT WAS THE REASON” in my cardi voice. And all they can do is look at you stupidly like really. That being said they‘re not up worrying and thinking about you so why are you giving them your time and energy knowing they aren’t worth it.

Advice from Spirit: Divine teachings is what you will be receiving or you have already received and will continue to receive. Trust that these lessons do have purpose no matter how much they may hurt you or cuz you pain. Angel numbers 22 and 88 popped out {“If you find yourself in the midst of chaos or disorder, the angel number 22 is a sign from your angels that they are with you, and that harmony will soon be restored.This angel number 22 is also a reminder to stay positive and to have faith that all is working out for your highest good.Trust that your angels are guiding and supporting you, and know that everything will eventually come into alignment.” “The 88 angel number is a powerful message from the angels. It signifies new beginnings, abundance, and karmic connections. The 88 angel number is also a lucky number, and seeing it is a sign of good things to come. As such, it also represents financial abundance, success, and good fortune. Moreover, it’s a reminder that you are always connected to the spiritual realm and that your thoughts and actions have an impact on your life path. Perhaps most importantly, it’s a message from the angels, telling you that they are with you and helping you through whatever challenges you may be facing.”

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[blank-citron]

I am back, yet again, with more thoughts. I'm nearing the end of house of hades (3 hours left!!) So here's my opinions about all the relationships!

OKAY SO:

Annabeth and Percy is fine, they're great, I don't mind them at all. Nothing weird, they got five books before they got together and they were genuinely friends first!! Good job have a metal: 🏅

Piper and Jason is??? Eugh. FIRST UP pipers original attraction to Jason is because of FAKE memories put inside of her head. And Jason?? Complete amnesia, doesn't remember shit, and they still kinda?? Stay together? Even though they're technically complete strangers forced into a relationship by a god. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED on the amount of time they spend focused on each other when Pipers dad is kidnapped and going insane and she thinks shes gonna be forced to betray them all. Like yeah, alright, but your boyfriend you know nothing about? Yeah spend an entire page talking about how attractive he is. OH AND THE CHARM SPEAK, DON'T FORGET THE CHARM SPEAK

Hazel and Frank is on thin fucking ice. The jealousy on Franks side is kinda uncomfortable but like, I get it. Fair enough. They've known each other for a while, they were friends before they were dating, and I can't say much about it?? Because it's before the book but at least it's not super uncomfortable or anything. Now my problem is kinda with their ages, Hazel is like 12 (13?) And Frank is uhh (checks wiki) **17???** I thought he was like 16 at most but alright, sure sure sure. You'd think? A 17 year old would know better than to date a 12 year old, like my guy, that's a whole ass child.

Leo and Calypso,,, Mmm.. most of my problems with Calypso comes with the fact that lore wise, it doesn't really make sense for her to still be on the island, her instant dismissal of Leo cause he's not super ripped and tall is also kinda uncomfortable but oh well. NOW LEO??? CONSIDERING that his main personal conflict comes from being the 7th wheel and the fact that his best friends kinda?Y'know, toss him aside after they get together??? The odd one out?? I feel, so uncomfortable with the fact that they decide to solve that problem by just giving him a girlfriend? Instead of y'know, making him more comfortable with himself and his friendships. Like sticking a bandaid of someone just liking him back for the first time ever fixes his major abandonment issues. Especially with?? The apparent "instant attraction"? Like c'mon.

#fuck it making a tag #citron reads HOO #heroes of olympus #percy jackson #Discuss with me #I want to hear others opinion about this maybe I'm just wrong #nothing negative about any of the characters!! #I love all of them I'm just aroace and extremely critical of relationships in media #pjo #pjo fandom #pjo hoo #hoo #leo valdez #calypso #frank zhang #hazel lavesque #piper mclean #jason grace #annabeth chase

[twoidiotwriters1]

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: The titles are long af bc I find that very funny -Danny Words: 3,948 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'Runaway' -by Aurora

V. Memory Lane Has Too Many Stops and I Keep Getting Carsick

Ara has barely stopped crying when Leo Valdez shows up flying the bronze dragon. Everyone stands ready, except Ara. She pushes through the crowd, eyes brimming with tears once again.

"People of Earth, I come in peace!" Leo is the most insane-looking boy she's ever seen. He's dirty from head to toe and looks like he spent the whole night awake. "Festus is just saying hello!"

"That thing is dangerous! Kill it now!"

"Stand down!" Jason shouts anxiously, Annabeth and Nyssa stand next to him. "Leo, what have you done?"

"Found a ride!" He says cheerfully. "You said I could go on the quest if I got you a ride. Well, I got you a class-A metallic flying bad boy! Festus can take us anywhere!"

"Festus..?" Ara echoes hoarsely.

"It—has wings," Nyssa stammers.

"Yeah! I found them and reattached them."

"But it never had wings! Where did you find them?"

"In... the woods," he's hiding something, but Ara couldn't care less about it at the moment. "Repaired his circuits, too, mostly, so no more problems with him going haywire."

"Mostly?"

The dragon tilts his head and oil falls on top of Leo. He's completely unbothered by it. "Just a few kinks to work out."

Ara's mind catches up with her body and she runs to Festus in tears. Leo jumps out of the way in alarm, but everyone else is delighted. She looks less menacing this way. "You fixed it! You fixed my dragon!"

Leo frowns. "Say what?"

"But how did you survive?" Nyssa asks in shock. "I mean, the fire breath..."

"I'm quick," he turns to his sister. "And lucky. Now, am I on this quest, or what?"

"You named him Festus?" Jason adds. "You know that in Latin, 'Festus' means 'happy'? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?"

"It's perfect!" Ara laughs, the first genuine laughter that comes out of her in days, and gods, it feels so good.

"Okay, so she's as crazy as me," Leo doesn't sound troubled by it. Festus purrs at Ara's touch, she's holding onto his snout. "That's a yes! Now, um, I'd really suggest we get going, guys. I already picked up some supplies in the—um, in the woods. And all these people with weapons are making Festus nervous."

"But we haven't planned anything yet. We can't just—"

"Go," Annabeth stares at them with fondness. "You have Ara, you'll be okay. You've only got three days until the solstice now, and you should never keep a nervous dragon waiting. This is certainly a good omen. Go!" 

Jason looks at Piper. "You ready, partner?"

"You bet." The girl's beaming at the dragon.

"Everyone, give our General a proper send-off!" Lily speaks next to her, which causes Ara to jump. She hates it when Lily does that.

The campers lift their shields and swords. Lily places a Tyrian purple cloak on Ara's shoulders and hands her a worn T-rex backpack. "Come back alive," she raises her left hand, and a thin scar can be seen on the side of her wrist. "Deal?"

Ara lifts her right wrist and lightly presses it against Lily's. "You got it." She turns to look at the campers. "I'll bring you good news this time, I promise," Ara faces Leo, the insane boy, and her eyes fill with gratitude. "I owe you a big one."

"Cash only, sunshine. Or a kiss, if you're feeling generous," Leo jokes, trying to stop her from looking at him like that.

Ara smiles, which is not the reaction he wanted. He's hoping she'll go back to being grumpy soon, but unfortunately, nothing's going to make her forget his great deed. "I'll think about it."

She climbs on top of the dragon, and Leo does an okay job at keeping it together. Ara feels this is where she's meant to be, this will bring back her brother. She's always had a good instinct when it comes to Percy.

I'm weaving baskets when this weird thought crosses my mind: 

Look for Percy!

I saw him fifteen minutes ago, but I tell the naiads and nymphs that are with me: "Go get help." They notice how serious I am—which is unlike me—and follow my plea. I make my way to the forest, something is guiding me.

When Percy fought Ares, I gave him Aphrodite's protection. I told him "Love will keep you safe", and at the time he thought that I was saying it to not be the only one that hadn't given him something, but I knew it would work. I didn't know that it would bind me to him, but I'm not complaining.

When I find him, Percy sounds scared. "You're being used, Luke. You and Ares both. Don't listen to Kronos."

"I've been used? Look at yourself. What has your dad ever done for you? Kronos will rise. You've only delayed his plans. He will cast the Olympians into Tartarus and drive humanity back to their caves. All except the strongest—the ones who serve him."

I throw my basket at the back of Luke's head, trying to give Percy time so he can grab his sword. Luke turns and holds his weapon tighter. He has a new sword. "I've had enough!"

I stumble and cut my palm on a rock, I grab it and hear Percy's panicky voice. "Don't!" I don't know who he's talking to, but neither of us listens. The rock hits Luke's arm and I roll to avoid his blade but it grazes my skin. I grab a fistful of dirt and throw it at his face.

Percy swats whatever creature is on his leg and draws out his sword, Luke notices and decides I'm not worth the trouble, he makes an arch-motion with his weapon and disappears through a portal. I'm scared shitless and I can feel my back pulsing, I wanna run and hide behind someone again. 

"I'm sorry!" I cry, even though I'm not the one who almost killed Percy.

He stumbles toward me in some sort of pain, and I'll be damned if I don't help him out of this one. I put his left arm around my shoulders, and he places most of his weight on me, but I carry on.

"Cool, right?" Leo's smell is starting to get a little too hard to ignore, Ara tries to keep his oil-covered self away. 

"What if we get spotted?" Piper asks.

"The Mist," Jason responds before Ara can. "It keeps mortals from seeing magic things. If they spot us, they'll probably mistake us for a small plane or something."

"You sure about that?"

"No."

"I am," Ara replies. "Don't worry, Piper, the crazier it gets, the harder it is for mortals to notice. If not, I know how to fix it."

"Is it thanks to the cool thing you are?" Leo asks.

"Yeah, Chiron had to readjust my training, not everyone can control the mist, but Thalia Grace is really good at it and she and Chiron taught me, she's the other child of Zeus."

"We're making good time," Jason comments like he's trying to change the subject. "Probably get there by tonight."

"Where are we heading?" Piper questions.

"To find the god of the North Wind and chase some storm spirits." 

"Piece of cake," Ara nods. "I've gone to many quests, follow your instincts and we'll be okay."

"Which reminds me!" Leo adds. "You didn't finish your story! You promised you would explain!"

Ara frowns. "Where was I?"

"That Luke dude went nuts."

She pauses, trying to piece her memories together. "Well, the nymphs took us back to camp..."

Percy's really weak after Luke's attack. Annabeth left half an hour ago, and I'm standing on the porch clinging to my friend's arm. "You're going too, aren't you?" 

The basket I was weaving when I found him is at my feet, I made it for Grover. Percy says he might not come back at all. Grover, Annabeth, and Percy are the closest friends I've had and they're leaving. I want Percy to stay.

"I want to be with my mom, Ara."

"I wish I had a family," I make a face.

Percy pats my hand, I would rather have him glaring, but Annabeth says he's got a soft spot for me. "I thought you were excited to work on the forges?"

I sigh, Percy's words are not enough to distract me. "If I had a family, I'd choose them over camp too," I hold his hand and squeeze it. "Have a good year, Nemo."

He shakes my hand. "Have a fun year, Birdy. Maybe you can come and spend Christmas with me and my mom?"

"You're giving me permission to annoy you outside camp?"

Percy grabs his glass of nectar and drinks from it. "Let's see who gets tired first."

Leo isn't as obnoxious as he pretends to be. He tells them about his connection to Hera, and the girl connects the dots. She doesn't want to use her empath touch on him, but she doesn't need to, Leo gets really quiet after telling his story and keeps his eyes ahead, no longer in the mood for jokes.

Ara process all the information she's gathered, to her it's obvious who the big bad is, but she does not dare to say it out loud, it would mean her future as the daughter of Olympus is bound to that stupid prophecy...

"You know something, don't you?" Piper asks as if reading Ara's thoughts. 

Leo has fallen asleep in front of them so she speaks quietly, though she doesn't need to, the wind is loud enough to hide her voice. "Nothing that could make things better."

"Okay... I just want to say, you know... thank you," Piper squeezes her shoulder. "You must be dead worried about your brother..."

Ara senses dread in Piper, the girl isn't as calm as she appears to be. "He would've wanted me to come. Others are looking for him, so..." She isn't needed. At least here, she feels important. She's a protector, and she likes that these demigods respect her. "And Lily's looking after camp, so I'm not worried."

"Annabeth's sister?" Piper muses. "Is she another daughter of Olympus?"

"Something better," Ara smiles. "She's my best friend."

Lily Saggio is the newest and weirdest camper in this place. She's got pitch-black hair and big gray eyes. Since I came back from Percy's home, I've seen campers give her weary looks when she walks past, they say she's just like Thalia.

"Hi! I'm Ara!"

The girl regards me with distrust, then she glances at the table I was in. I feel like she ran a background check in less than five seconds. "Lily Saggio."

I'll have to carry the conversation. That's okay. "You're lucky you got here during winter and not summer! Where are you from?"

Lily stares at me pondering whether to talk or ignore me. "You're a year-rounder?"

"Yeah!"

"Why weren't you here last week?" I notice she's trying to hide an accent, but I do my best to act like I don't.

"I was invited to my friend's house. Look, he gave me this!" I show her my backpack, which is a teddy bear. I keep priceless things in it: my snacks and the legos Sally gave me as a Christmas/late birthday present. 

"You can leave this place?" Lily's expression shifts.

"Not all the time," I pull Bear and rummage through him. "I promised I wouldn't leave Percy's apartment—and it was Christmas!"

Lily stands up straighter, looking defiant. "I can look after myself, I've fought monsters before," She pulls out a black dagger and shows it to me.

I gasp. "Where did you get that?"

"It showed up on my nightstand after my Nonna..." She pauses and shakes her head. "It's a gift from my patron, so I don't—"

"You don't like it here?" I pull out my box of Legos and Lily's eyes brighten at the sight. "Don't you wanna know who your parent is?"

She frowns. "I know who my dad is."

"Oh! You're an Ares kid? You don't look like Apollo but you'd make an interesting child of Hermes or Dionys—"

"I didn't mean that."

"You know your dad?" I ask, not following the conversation.

"Yes, my mortal parent," she rolls her eyes. "I don't care about the god. They didn't care about me."

To think that way will get her a step closer to joining Luke. I don't want that. "Do I look like I'm Aphrodite's child?"

"What?"

"Do I look it?" I insist.

"You're okay."

This is the first time anyone calls me okay. My brain goes: Well... duh!

"It hardly matters who your godly parent is, you'll grow to love it here," I lock arms with her and place my Legos on her hands. "I'm going to the forges, come and see."

"I don't need a chaperone—"

"You are sooo grumpy," I sigh. "No one would trust me to look after another camper. So!"

Lily waits for me to finish my sentence. "So?"

"They'll leave you alone if I'm with you, I'm not very popular either."

On our way to the forges, I hear a couple of Ares kids shout rude things at Lily, I step in to shut them up and they laugh so hard they forget about her.

"Go away," Lily scowls at me.

I pout a little. "I just wanted to help."

"I don't need you."

"I didn't do that thinking you—"

"I don't care," she clenches her fists. "Never do that again."

When they reach Boreas's palace, two of his children stop them. Zethes stares at the purple cloak covering her shoulders and his smile evaporates. "Ara Jackson."

She gives a start. "Hi. You know my name?"

"You killed Cacus!"

"Who?" Leo asks with amusement.

"It wasn't only me," Ara dismisses the comment. "Can we go in, then?"

Zethes doesn't look pleased. "You'll kill us if we don't let you?"

Ara shrugs. "Sure."

Leo leans closer as they fly down. "So if I get into a nasty fight, could you just smite my opponent? It'd be super helpful if I knew that beforehand..."

"Shut up," Ara scowls, but she's hiding a smile.

When they land, the Boreads get a little nervous about having Festus there. "No, no, no,"  Zethes points at it. "The dragon must be deactivated. We can't have fire in here. The heat ruins my hair."

Ara steps forward. "Stay away from the dragon, then."

"'S'okay, boy," Leo eases the automaton, giving her a reassuring nod. "The dragon's a little touchy about the whole deactivation concept. But I've got a better solution." 

"Destroy?" Cal suggested.

"No, man. You gotta stop with the destroy talk. Just wait."

"Leo," Piper intervenes, "what are you—"

"Watch and learn, beauty queen. When I was repairing Festus last night, I found all kinds of buttons. Some, you do not want to know what they do. But others... Ah, here we go."

Leo sneaks his hand inside Festus's left paw and Ara hears a click, the dragon folds until it's a block of bronze. "Um... yeah. Hold on. I think—aha!" A handle pops up along with four wheels at the bottom. "Ta-da! The world's heaviest carry-on bag!"

"Cool!" Ara gets closer to examine it. Every time Leo gets that reaction out of her, he looks ready to throw himself off a rooftop.

"That's impossible," Jason exclaims. "Something that big couldn't—"

"Stop!" Zethes and his brother suddenly point their swords at Leo.

"Hey!" Ara makes her own weapon appear. "What's your problem?"

Leo raises his hands. "Okay... what'd I do? Stay calm, guys. If it bothers you that much, I don't have to take the dragon as carry-on—"

"Who are you? A child of the South Wind, spying on us?"

"What? No! Son of Hephaestus. Friendly blacksmith, no harm to anyone!"

"Smell fire," Cal gets closer. "Fire is bad."

"Oh. Yeah, well... my clothes are kind of singed, and I've been working with oil, and—"

"No!" Zethes tries to touch Leo but Ara keeps him away with her sword. "We can smell fire, demigod. We assumed it was from the creaky dragon, but now the dragon is a suitcase. And I still smell fire... on you." 

Ara glances at Leo. He is hiding something. "Hey... look... I don't know—Guys, a little help?"

"Look, there's been a mistake. Leo isn't a fire guy. Tell them, Leo. Tell them you're not a fire guy," Jason says, which is not great.

"Um..." Leo's indecision makes Ara uneasy.

"Piper," she could do this, but it's better for her sister to get comfortable with her powers. "Talk some sense into these boys, please?"

The girl understands right away. "Zethes? We're all friends here. Put down your swords and let's talk."

"The girl is pretty," he hums, "and of course she cannot help being attracted to my amazingness; but sadly, I cannot romance her at this time." 

"Destroy him now?"

"Sadly, I think—"

"No," Jason insists. "Leo's just a son of Hephaestus. He's no threat. Piper here is a daughter of Aphrodite. I'm the son of Zeus. We're on a peaceful..."

"What did you say?" Zethes snaps. "You are the son of Zeus?"

"Um... yeah," he pauses. "That's a good thing, right? My name is Jason."

"Can't be Jason," Cal says stupidly. "Doesn't look the same."

"No, he is not our Jason. Our Jason was more stylish. Not as much as me—but stylish. Besides, our Jason died millennia ago."

"Wait," the boy continues. "Your Jason... you mean the original Jason? The Golden Fleece guy?"

"Of course! We were his crewmates aboard his ship, the Argo, in the old times, when we were mortal demigods. Then we accepted immortality to serve our father, so I could look this good for all time, and my silly brother could enjoy pizza and hockey."

So many demigods gave up their mortality, and most of them had done it for such stupid reasons! Ara can't believe Percy's the exception to the rule, she's seen him push a pull door way too many times.

"Hockey!" Cal says happily.

"But Jason—our Jason—he died a mortal death. You can't be him."

"I'm not."

"So, destroy?"

"No," Zethes pouts. "If he is a son of Zeus, he could be the one we've been watching for. He's with Jackson, after all."

"Watching for?" Leo repeats. "You mean like in a good way: you'll shower him with fabulous prizes? Or watching for like in a bad way: he's in trouble?"

"That depends on my father's will," a girl's voice announces.

A brief flash of light comes out of Leo as soon as he sees the girl, but it's so short-lived Ara doesn't even distinguish its color. She scowls at him. Really? Right now? But she doesn't say anything out loud, she's the only one who can see those things anyway. 

The goddess is asking Jason to join her father, apparently, he's got some judgment to make, but Leo is not allowed to come. Jason and Piper don't want to leave him, and Ara doesn't want to either, she doesn't trust Leo will stay put. 

He smiles and obediently sits on top of Festus. "It's fine, guys. No sense causing trouble if we don't have to. You go ahead."

Again, Ara's intrigued. Half the time he's hyper and impatient and now he's just... half a smile that does not reach his eyes. She's never met anyone like him, someone made out of halves.

"Listen to your friend," the young goddess tells them. "Leo Valdez will be perfectly safe. I wish I could say the same for you. Now come, King Boreas is waiting." 

Ara wants to sit and have a full-fledged conversation with Leo about his feelings and how he perceives the world, but she's lost practice. Before it was easy to pay attention to others, but Ara's obligations positioned her above many things, including day-to-day interaction with campers.

Lily's impression of me changes after Capture the Flag."This is your first time playing so don't worry, they won't notice you," I undo the clasp of her armor vest before she can stop me and fix it for her.

"What do you mean?" She frowns.

"You're new, they won't ask you to do anything."

She's deeply upset about this. "They should take advantage of all their assets!"

"We're not tools," I tilt my head with amusement. Lily's lived on the streets for far too long. "If you're so sure you can handle it, though... there's something I've always wanted to try."

She wavers. "What is it?"

"I think I can reach the flag faster than our leader. No one ever pays attention to me and it'd be really funny if we get there first instead of our Captain. What do you say?"

Lily makes a face. "That's not a plan."

"Are you a chicken, Saggio?" I don't know why I tease her, but she looks funny when she's angry.

"No!"

"A drachma says I can get to the flag before you can!" I sprint out of sight.

I hear her trying to catch up and that makes me giggle. I move as quickly as possible, but then, just when I'm reaching the limits, Lily comes out of nowhere and tackles me to the ground. We're both lifted in the air and end up hanging upside down from a tree.

"Why did you do that?" I complain. "We could've won!"

"I wasn't letting you get there first, you turned it into a competition!" She says. "What is this?"

"Rope. Beckendorf did it, so we're stuck here until someone finds us. Or so he says..."

"What do you mean?"

"These are designed for heavier demigods," I look up—down, actually—and follow the rope to see where it ends."I'll take your knife, the rope's tied in my direction."

"Turn us around!"

"Are any of your arms free?"

She groans, trying to release herself. "It's my knife!"

"You're bossy," I sigh. "Sit tight while I free us, boss."

I squirm for five whole minutes, but the rope's only getting tighter. Lily tries to stop me, but I'm not giving up. Finally, after a long struggle... Lily's dagger falls out of her belt. 

She lets her head hang in defeat. "I'll scream."

"No!"

"Why not?" She presses. "There's nothing we can do!"

I was telling the truth when I said this was something I'd been planning to do for quite a while, but this is not how I wanted it to go. "We can't be seen like this, your rep will be ruined!"

Two arrows fly through the gap between us, one of them scratches us but we're released in less than a second. Lily lands sideways and I land on my back. 

"Well, well..." a small boy walks up to us smirking. "Out of all the campers, I never thought they'd send you."

I smile sweetly. "Hey, bud, if you can find it in your heart to let us go..."

He seizes two new arrows from his quiver and points them at us. "Get up."

Lily sits up, immensely disappointed... so I start talking. 

"Michael," I charmspeak him. "Hand me your bow." His shoulders relax and the arrows fall at his feet, then he gives me his bow.

"Che cosa..!" Lily whispers in shock.

"The quiver too," Michael hands it to me. I look at it, then at him. "Forget this happened and go to sleep." He drops to the ground, snoring loudly. "So..." I hand Lily the bow. "He caught me, you knocked him out and took his weapons before he could take me. Fair play."

The more agitated she gets, the more it stands out that accent she has. "Have you always been able to do that?"

"You were going to lose, and now you're going back with a prisoner. They'll give you a bigger role next time thanks to that."

"But I didn't do this!"

"So what?" I shrug. "Next time you'll do something better, that'll be enough to compensate for the lie. There is no honor in going down by charmspeak, Lily. You're tough and Michael's got a bad temper, it'll make both of you look good."

"But I'm..." I can't tell if she's angry or flustered. "I was stubborn, I don't deserve a win."

"I was pushing your buttons," I admit. "Please, Michael will prefer this over the truth."

Lily's not convinced. "And you?"

"Teach me to be quiet and we'll be even," I pick up her dagger.

"I wouldn't want you as my enemy," she seizes her weapon and places it on her belt. The gash Michael made on our wrists is bleeding, hers is on the left wrist and mine's on the right. "It's a deal."

Next Chapter ->

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @ash-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen

#twoidiots writing #pjo fanfic #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #leo valdez x oc #leo valdez fanfic #doo #heroes of olympus

[39oa]

Talk Hockey To Me

tagged by beloved @txstars T__T <3 thank uuu as always

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

it's hard to pinpoint one moment because i honestly genuinely believe that it's the best sport in the world just in terms of pure mechanics and objective viewing enjoyment and live crowd atmosphere so it's easy to get hooked once you actually watch it... i've been on and off with hockey fandom itself and took a few years away from tumblr until recently but i'd say it was a mix of just watching games + discovering fandom spaces on tumblr/reading fic on ao3 + having a decent home team at the time + canadian tax etc.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

ngl i think most of the people i first met in hockey fandom eventually moved onto bts (or k-pop in general) lmfaooo but i met @regularseason when i was in 11th grade making connor mcdavid gifsets and now i am somehow 25 years old. we have seen so much on this vast internet together ❤️ 

3. The jersey you would most like to own

MOOTERUS BROS RISE UP ☝️🐮  absolutely my favorite jersey of all time i genuinely don't think any other design comes close. i also really love the stars rr 2.0 but i finally bit the bullet and bought it so that's out... another top contender would be sabres goathead 🐐 and maybe mighty ducks era pkariya, also i think the sharks rr 2.0 with the spin on the seals logo is sooo cute and i love the og sharks logo designed by terry smith as well... specifically the classic late 90s teal jersey. and my fav regular home jersey of current teams is the kraken :')

i have way too many opinions on jerseys honestly. if i could pick some from my warmup jersey database then i lovelovelove the habs 2023 bhm and pride designs (i have apparel for both of these...), the leafs indigenous celebration design, and the kraken women in hockey design. gorgeous girls!!!!!

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

:saluting_face: there is only one guy for me... jr21! (real talk like a big part of why i got into the stars and came back to sports tumblr was because of him despite having 0 geographical ties to texas LOL. admittedly there was some superficiality involved at first in seeing an asian guy achieve top-line star status against the restrictive pains of bones hockey but then i was like oh your game is actually efficient and understated as hell? and it kind of spiraled out from there. my favorite deceptively abnormal "boring" guy!!!)

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

i will echo 2124 💚 but i am part of the problem for having 4 partial aus in one doc and not actually writing anything of substance for them... otherwise there are a ton of rarepairs i could argue in favor of but i feel like i'd sound insane. where is the otter/woll boston goaliefic... where is mitch/nrob with robo being vaguely horrified but trying to be supportive of his brother's poor decision making skills. where is my sabresfic and kidsline shenanigans in general......... also if we're going back to the stars then 2141 honestly have so much untapped potential wrt Why Are You Both So Weird Can You Please [Redacted] About It. but you get the gist i'm sure!!!

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

my memory does NOT go that far back. whatever is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to some guy i hate is good enough for me

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

immediately the first thing that came to mind is that i still think zoe's 2129 primer is one of the most fantastic and comprehensive labors of love this fandom has ever seen... truly one of the major backbones of starsblr. honestly despite hockey fandom not being quite what it used to be on here i think there are sooo so many great creators making stars content and i am immensely grateful to all the gifmakers + artists + writers who constantly feed me no matter what time of year it is!!! i'm kind of shy but you know who you are... TT__TT

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

\o/ i desperately do not like any of the things i make and i am already grateful to the people who have looked at my measly creations before so thank you!

tagging @regularseason @iamidentical @pupuhintz @slagkovsky @supersoftsports... apologies if you've already been tagged and no pressure as always but pls feel free to if you'd like ❤️

#t #long post

[elowenp]

“What do you want?” Barbara asks, voice crackling with static.

It’s a silly question. Tim wants crime rates to go down. Tim wants Gotham to be a safer city. Tim wants to be a part of making that happen.

“A code name that isn’t stupid.” he says instead.

Barbara sighs. It doesn’t sound like a sigh though. It just sounds like the static’s getting louder.

~

“Bernard Dowd, scholar of the ages.” Tim laughs, arm slung round Bernard's shoulder. “I thought you were meant to be the fun one?”

“I am.” Bernard groans, “as soon as these exams are done I’ll be back to the usual student life. Getting drunk, going on dates, Gotham won’t know what’s hit it.”

“Going on dates?” Tim asks jokingly, even as a well hidden part of him turns slightly panicked. “Any successes an old friend should be hearing about?”

“Not really.” Bernard shrugs, jostling Tim’s arm. “Just a couple of girls I was better off friends with.” He pauses, thinking, before continuing with his voice involuntarily going a little higher. “Couple of guys too.”

“Huh.” Tim suddenly becomes very aware of all the places where his arm is touching Bernard. He doesn’t move it. “Better luck next time.”

Huh.

~

Tim’s been avoiding Dick. He’s been awkward around him lately, Tim thinks that Barbara must have said something. He’s not stupid enough to have done something to send Dick spiralling without noticing it.

“What do you want?” Dick asks, curious, without warning.

Tim wants to ask if Barbara put him up to this but he knows it’s a genuine question. Dick isn’t manipulative like that, not with family.

What does Tim want? Isn’t it a little late for Dick go be asking that question? All the things that happened after Bruce’s death put a canyon of distance between them. It’s slowly been growing smaller but it hasn’t disappeared. Neither of them have had time enough to spend together for that to happen.

An awful, bitter part of Tim that hasn’t stopped screaming since Robin wasn’t his any more wonders if Dick would even be asking if Damian wasn’t out of town right now.

“For us to go train surfing.” Tim says. Petty. Just so Dick will say no and his anger can feel righteous instead of ill-deserved.

“Okay.” Dick says instead. Easy and confident. Himself.

“Oh.” Tim’s anger fizzles into non-existence. “Okay.”

The canyon grows a little smaller.

~

“We should go to a skatepark.” Bernard says, a little giggly from the beer in his hand.

There’s a matching beer in Tim’s hand although it’s still practically full. If there’s an emergency he’ll be of no use drunk. “What? Why?”

“Why not? You were so good in high school! And you had fun doing it.” Bernard’s tone turns a little less giggly. “You should do more things you find fun.”

Tim is surprised enough that the “Okay.” slips out of his lips unbidden.

So maybe the beer bottle is a little less full than he’d like to admit.

They borrow a board from one of Bernard's flatmates and catch a bus to a skate park Tim remembers using when he was younger. As they go Tim tries to remember why he stopped. He tries to remember when he stopped. He can’t recall the answer to either question and annoyance rises in his chest over it.

Then Bernard is saying something and it has Tim snorting with laughter and he forgets his irritation.

Once they arrive Bernard settles himself at the top of one of the ramps like it’s a throne. “Entertain me!” he calls, “Impress me with your wheel-board magic.

Tim manages a kick-flip on his first attempt and Bernard makes a loud noise of approval.

A lot of stuff comes back to Tim fairly quickly. Most of skateboarding had been muscle memory for him and that’s something that being a vigilante hadn’t exactly hindered. As things return to him he regains some faint memories of why he’d stopped. Nothing specific, just that feeling of not having enough time. Of thinking that going to the skatepark wasn’t a particularly useful way to spend his hours while there was still real work to be done.

Tim’s always been a vigilante first, but he thinks there must have been a point when that wasn’t the only thing he was. Well, when it wasn’t the only thing he was that mattered.

“Come on!” Bernard shouts, teeth flashing white against Gotham’s grey-black sky. “I was promised entertainment!”

Tim laughs. He seems to do that a lot around Bernard these days.

He starts moving on the skateboard, deciding to leave the existentialism for another day.

~

First Dick and now Bruce. Tim’s family has really been making a habit of being weird around him lately.

He would normally think that the Bruce was worried about him, that Dick had passed along some bullshit about his mental health and Bruce was practicing some silent vigil. The problem with that theory is that Tim’s been getting better recently, so there wouldn’t be much point. At least he thinks he’s been getting better. It’s difficult to tell sometimes.

Bruce has definitely been acting weird around him though, so maybe he isn’t getting better. Maybe Bruce spotted something Tim didn’t and he’s on the road to insanity.

“What do you want?” Bruce asks one day as they’re both working in the cave. Not Batman. Bruce.

It’s a far stupider question than it was when Barbara or Dick asked it. Bruce is the person who made Tim’s desires what they are. He’s the one who took Tim’s obsession and carved it into a goal.

“What?” Tim asks, loud and confused and maybe a little angry. “What do you mean ‘what do I want’? I want the mission! What else am I supposed to want?”

Bruce stays silent for a moment and Tim imagines him turning the words over in his head. “Nothing else?” Bruce asks. He sounds sad and it makes the anger drain from Tim’s body. “Just the mission?”

“I don’t need anything else.” Tim says hollowly.

Bruce just nods, thinking. It makes Tim want to scream even as satisfaction rises in his chest.

It’s always been a point of pride that he can to lie to Batman. He’s hardly going to change his mind about that now.

~

“People keep asking me what I want.” Tim says, sat on Bernard's bed. “I don’t like it.”

Bernard's turns away from the laptop on his desk so he can look at Tim. “You ever tell them the truth?”

Tim shrugs. He isn’t sure what else to do. “Ish?”

Bernard smiles. “Anyone ever tell you you’re impossible, Tim Drake?”

“Only everyone I’ve ever met.”

Bernard barks out a laugh before sobering up and looking at Tim with ill-disguised curiosity. “Do you want to tell me the truth about it? Or did you just want to say the thing out loud?”

“I’m not sure.” Tim admits, and he has to stop himself from acting taken aback by the fact he actually said that. Tim never says when he’s uncertain. There isn’t room for it. Bernard must know that too because he looks at Tim in surprise, then scoots his chair closer to the bed so that he and Tim are almost touching.

Bernard looks very cautious. “You know that’s okay, right?”

“I-“ Tim starts, because is it? Is uncertainty the kind of luxury he can afford? “I want to want things. But it feels like I’ve forgotten how.”

“You’ve had a rough couple of years.”

“How do you-“

Bernard smiles knowingly. “You’re not as hard to read as you think, Tim. Well you are. But it’s not difficult to tell that some bad things must have happened since I last saw you.”

“Yeah.” Tim says hoarsely, thinking back to the burn of his muscles as he dug up Kon’s grave, the stinging of desert sand in his eyes, the moment of confusion when he woke up in a league of assassins base unsure if he’d had to die to get there. “Yeah. Bad things happened.” He shakes himself a little, because those aren’t the thoughts he wants lingering. He focuses back on Bernard who’s closer than Tim had realised, worry creased between his eyes. “What about you?” Tim asks, trying to exert some measure of control over the conversation. “What do you want?”

“Thought we were talking about you?” Tim might have let it go with that if not for the note of nervousness in Bernard's voice and the red creeping up the back of his neck.

“We can talk about both of us.”

“It’s not important right now.”

Tim reaches out then. He takes Bernard's hand in his because Bernard makes him laugh and he looks so nervous and Tim wants to. Bernard looks down at their hands in surprise and Tim doesn’t actually feel worried. Just expectant that Bernard is going to squeeze their fingers together more securely. He does. “You sure?” Tim asks.

Bernard just looks at him. Mouth parted with shock. He seems to come back to himself though and his expression of surprise turns into something more confident. More familiar. “What if I wanted you?” he asks, hesitancy and confidence rolled into one voice.

“Give me some time to remember how to want things, and I think I’ll want that too.” Tim replies, just as unsure and utterly certain.

Bernard tangles their fingers together a little more firmly in response and Tim feels more hopeful than he has in a long time.

#SO URBAN LEGENDS HUH?? #if dc say sike rn I am going to take that as a hate crime against me PERSONALLY #dc #dc fandom #batman #writing #fic rec #batman fic rec #tim drake #bernard dowd #red robin #timber #urban legends #batman urban legends #ngl i might clean this up and expand on it a bit and put it on ao3 #all the sections were meant to be as short as barbara's lmao #i'm so bad at writing romance i couldn't even get them to kiss #i quite liked how the other parts turned out though?? idk

[sweetestlamb]

I've Got You Under My Skin Part 2

Author's note: Can you tell I'm inspired? A double fic post who is she? Dedicated to @serxeins because I know I can always count on you to read and comment and give me some good vibes.

Summary: She's not jealous.

He's not there the next day and it puts her in another foul mood, honestly who was he to invade her life like this and then leave as he pleased? She would be the one to send him away not the other way around, she was the one in control here.

She goes all the way to his house after work to inform him of this, slightly more prepared for his state of dress- he's only wearing a thin white shirt and flowy pants, both made of soft looking cotton.

"No wonder you're still sick. Look at you're wearing." She rolls her eyes at him not waiting to be invited in, he never waits for her and ignores her when she tells him to go away. It's their thing. Blatant disregard.

"That's shaming, that's no way to speak to a sick person. What medical school did you go to?"

"One that taught me to prioritize honesty over niceties."

She has more porridge but it's her mom's recipe the one she used to make when she was feeling sick and it was hard to keep anything down. She had suddenly remembered it the night before and woke up early to prepare it from sensory memory alone, she was hardly a chef but this was the only meal she could make without fail. If her eyes had prickled with instead tears as she stirred the pot that was no one's business but her own. She hadn't been able to make it for years now but for some reason she couldn't stop herself this morning.

"What's this?" He asks curious over her shoulder, his chin barely grazing her skin. She doesn't move away ignoring the thrumming his closeness elicits.

"Porridge."

"It smells good. It doesn't look like grandma's porridge. Where did you get it?"

"I made it." It's embarrassing admitting that she made anything for him, she feels like she's showing her hand far too much but can't get her mouth to stop revealing her heart.

"You're full of surprises. Let's heat it up."

He looks better now, no longer flushed and sweaty. The fever must have broken over night, he looks rejuvenated scooping the food into a pot and warming it up.

His house looks a bit cleaner today as well, the windows are open allowing a wonderful breeze to fill the space and sweep away the stench of sick in the air. She walks aimlessly until she sees a bit of material on the floor, bending to pick it up she glares at the material in her hand. It's a light pink scarf, thin and almost sheer. He has an eclectic style but this is indubitably a woman's scarf, she almost throws it on the ground in a fit.

"What are you doing?" He breaks her from her shock, walking towards her with twin bowls in his hands.

She almost hides the scarf away feeling ashamed of the searing hotness that rips through her chest like a current. But foolishly she swings her hand up presenting the offending item instead, narrowing her eyes as she peers at him.

"What's this?" She challenges, a voice in the back of her mind begs her to shut the fuck up but her anger pushes her forward recklessly.

He tilts his head looking intensely at the item before pursing his lips and answering, "I think it's a scarf."

No fucking shit Sherlock.

She looks at him unimpressed and unamused not quite understanding why she cares so much that there's a scarf- a feminine nother scarf in his house.

"I had a guest earlier. She probably left it." He replies lightly sitting their food down on the table and she follows him briskly still not satisfied with his answers.

"Give me back my porridge." She says childishly snatching away his bowl just as he's about to eat, the look of annoyance on his face brings her nothing but pure joy.

"What's your problem now?" He argues reaching for the bowl but she tugs it further out of his reach. With a long suffering sigh he stands up, stepping closer to retrieve the bowl but that move brings them chest to chest and she stares up at his bright eyes.

Bringing his hands up he touches the scarf in her hand, she drops it abruptly not wanting him to touch it at all now.

"Don't."

He stares at her long and hard, Adam's apple bobbing as their eyes lock. He shakes his head a tight smile on his face now and she wants to kiss that smug look right off his face. Wait.

What. What am I thinking?

The sound of his doorbell chiming breaks them free of this heated staring match, but not immediately he looks at her puzzled and is that something hotter, before slowly turning and walking towards the door.

"Hey, I think I left my scarf--"

A decidedly female voice sounds from the door and before she can second guess herself she grabs the discarded scarf from the ground and sashays over to the door. He looks completely surprised to see her walking over but barely reacts when she barrels next time, pulling the door open wider to see who's here to see them.

It's the new teacher that just moved into town, she hadn't yet been introduced to her but she'd heard nothing but bad things from the landlord. She was supposedly a man stealer.

"Oh! I didn't know you had a guest." The woman's gentle voice lifts in awe at her sudden arrival at the door.

"Here's your scarf." She thrusts the item fiercely at her, watching as the other woman jolts in surprise.

Du-sik looks curiously between the two seeming to feel the weird energy surging in the air.

"Miss Yoon this is--"

"Was that all you needed? We were in the middle of eating. He needs to regain his energy." She cuts him off, having no desire to be introduced to the other woman. The school teacher glances between the two of them being nodding slowly as if realizing something.

"Yes that was all. I'll leave you to your meals."

She watches as the school teacher disappears from sight, turning to walk back to the table.

"That was rude. Do you two have a problem with each other?"

Shrugging non-committally she pushes his porridge back across the space already digging into her own.

"Your meal will get cold. Stop saying nonsense and come eat."

He stares at her for a long time before retaking his seat and tasting the thick broth, she tries not to watch and wait for his reaction but it's probably a failure.

"It's delicious. I can't believe you made this."

Overlooking the backhanded compliment she hides her smile behind her spoon before looking up with a glare, "I'll never make it for you again." But it's an empty threat because she already made three containers worth in case he falls ill again.

"I'll turn off your electricity until you do."

She guffaws at the threat, grabbing the closest thing (a pen) and throwing it at him. It pings off his forehead and falls to the ground.

"Ow. That hurt."

Her phone vibrates in her pocket, no doubt her roommate asking about her whereabouts she had just suddenly disappeared out of nowhere after running out of the office. Swiping to open the phone she prepares for the onslaught of messages.

"---kiss it better."

She freezes at the words, dragging her eyes from the phone back up to his steady gaze. He's staring brazenly seemingly unashamed but the tint of red on his ears give him away, he's not at confident as he's pretending to be.

"What did you say?"

"I.....said you should kiss it better."

She has no clue what he's talking about but instinctively her eyes move down to his lips, blush pink and tempting they stand out on his pale skin. She wonders how they would feel under her own, if they would pucker up and press or bloom open giving her their sweet nectar. She wonders how many women he's kissed and if he's ever thought about kissing her.

"My forehead. I meant my forehead... because of the pen. I was just joking." He looks dazed now, still under her appraising gaze and she coughs swiftly moving her eyes and staring out the window.

"Mi-seon's looking for me. I should go."

Thankfully he doesn't comment on her running away again, he merely nods and collects their bowls.

"Thank you for the meal." She nods in response, her voice lost at the moment terrified of why she keeps coming here, what could she possibly want?

He walks her to the door, both of them dragging their feet and taking their sweet time.

"That was the worst part about not having parents."

She halts at his sudden confession, squeezing her fists tightly as she glances over at him.

"Not having anyone who cared when I was sick. It was never clearer how alone I was until those fleeting moments, there was no one to pat my back or bring me food or tell me I would be okay."

It's an ache she's used up, the ache of wanting something she'll never have. Years spent pretending she didn't miss her mother everyday. His honesty forces her own to the surface.

"That porridge was the one my mom used to make for me. I haven't made it since she...."

She doesn't finish her sentence but the look in his eyes tell her that she doesn't need to, he understands loud and clear.

"Thank you for making it for me. I'm honored." There is reverence in his voice as if he's never meant anything more in his life, it makes her heart tremble.

They don't speak anymore as she puts on her shoes and lays her bag across her body, reaching behind her he tugs the door open for her.

With a solemn nod she turns around ready to leave but a moment of temporary insanity makes her turn back and grab his shoulder for support, there's a look of genuine shock of his face before she leans onto the tips of her toes and presses her lips against his forehead.

Her cheeks are on fire as she draws back and his face looks painful from his red it is.

"You're going to be alright." With her last strand of courage she wraps her arm around and pats him on the back in comfort, his eyes are glossy and he looks years younger.

"I'm going."

She's aching to run but she walks away calmly until she's out of sight, throwing herself to the ground as soon as she turns the corner grabbing handfuls of her hair.

So much for being in control. Fuck.

#hometown cha cha cha #me again #i might be a bit obsessed #y'all know I love a little jelly cee #it gets the blood running #hong du shik #yoon hye jin

[spicyspencerreid]

Making A Move

A Spencer Reid Imagine

Female!Reader, BAU!Reader// This might be the cutest thing I’ve ever written. Short and sweet at 1300 words.

Warnings// Very unproofread; partial nudity ig; cuteness, this is so fluffy, adorable Spencer.

From a friendly anon: I'm so happy you're writing for Spencer! I've had this idea where the reader works for the BAU and is a hypochondriac (scared of getting sick) and has a lump or something on their body in a weird spot (if you know what I mean) and is freaking out about it, so even though Spencer isn't a medical doctor they still ask him. Spencer and the reader both like each other but neither realize it, so they're both really flustered, but like the reader is freaking out over nothing. I love your writing!!! 

To anon: Thank you so much!!! This is my first Spencer imagine and I’m very excited about this!!! Want to apologize in advance if I portrayed hypochondria in a bad way or was disrespectful in any way!

Not my gif: enjoy!!

“Spence,” you reached for his hand and grabbed it, leading him into the small file closet. You and Spencer were about as close as you could possibly get as friends without dating. You were almost like Morgan and Garcia, but you were both more awkward about flirting with each other and flustered each other way easier than they did. You and Spencer just work. You just do. You might not have an IQ of 187, but you do have a photographic memory, slightly different than Spencer’s eidetic memory, but still very useful. You weren’t a genius, but you worked your ass off to get into the FBI the same age as Spencer. Oh, and, you weren’t a profiler, which had its perks. You were the communications liaison, and you were incredible at your job, so you got to show off your best assets. You were great at public speaking, and you still got to help the team figure things out. If you put you and Spencer in a room together, there was nothing you couldn’t figure out. 

Your one flaw? You were a huge hypochondriac. It wasn’t even really a flaw, you just went the extra mile to stay healthy. It wasn’t delusional or anything, but it wasn’t exactly helpful in your line of work, since you had to introduce yourself to so many people. You washed your hands every time you shook a new Detective’s hand when introducing yourself at a new police stated, you washed your hands before touching things, etc. And when you got sick, it was a nightmare. It was basically like you were Spencer, but on steroids. Actually, it’s how you first connected.

Agent Hotchner smiled at you and reached out to shake your hand, “It’s great to meet you Agent Y/l/n, this is the team, and everyone this is Y/f/n Y/l/n,” he went through all the members and you shook their hands up until Spencer.

“Oh I don’t shake hands, it actually spreads more germs than-” he definitely wasn’t used to being cut off.

“Kissing, yeah I know. Trust me. I really, really detest shaking hands, I just can’t avoid it in this job. Hand sanitizer’s my best friend. Nice to meet you Dr. Reid.” You smiled, locking eyes with him. He stood there with glazed eyes for a second.

“Spencer...you can call me Spencer.” You walked away but Spencer stayed in his spot, speechless for once.

“Looks like you’ve met your match pretty boy,” Derek tapped Spencer’s back before walking over. Just like that, you guys became super close.

“Y/n...why are we in the file closet?”

“I need help...”

“Are you okay, I noticed you started spinning your bracelet again,” his voice was laced with genuine concern.

“Yeah, I have a medical question, or problem, I have a thing.”

“I’m not that kind of doctor, Y/n. Why couldn’t you ask me in the bullpen?”

“You’re the closest thing I’ve got to a doctor in here, you know the human body better than anyone, and...well,” you sighed, “It’s in a...spot,” you were suddenly super aware of how close Spencer was to you, only a couple of inches away. 

“A spot?” You waited for it to click in his mind, “...oh! Wh-where, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“I...have a lump.”  

“Y/n, you don’t have breast cancer. It’s possible, but doctors most often diagnose breast cancer in females aged 55 to 64 years, the rates your age are unbelievably low. If you feel pain, you’re probably just feeling soreness from an upcoming or passing menstrual cycl-”

“No, no, please stop” you didn’t feel like talking to Spencer about your vagina right now, even though this was an issue in the same ballpark, “it’s not a breast lump, it’s like...in between...my...breasts.” 

“What about it exactly did you need my help with? It’s most likely nothing.”

“Spencer. I am going insane, I’ve been doing research, and I can’t focus. I need to know what it is, but if I go to a hospital, I’ll go insane, or they’ll think I’m crazy.”

“Okay, okay, how can I help?” 

“I want to know what it is...” you reached at the bottoms of your shirt, “can you...close your eyes?”

“Okay.” You watched his eyes flutter shut. You reached with a shaky hand for his hand and grabbed his thumb. You took his thumb and put it on the lining of your bra, so it wasn’t under the material, but on top of it. You swallowed and let go of his hand, “do you know what it is?”

“I think I do. D-d-does that...um...does that hurt?” He applied a little bit of pressure, but was still gentle in his touch.

“No, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just...there.” 

“Um...can I?” you took a sharp breath as his cold finger went under the fabric, “Sorry, does that hurt?”

“No your finger’s just cold.” You choked out. 

“I’m almost positive it’s just your sternum, also known as the breastbone. It’s the bone that connects your ribcage. Usually in women it rests in this spot. It’s only a problem if you experience sharp pains when you breathe in and out. You’re...um not breathing. Uh...can you take a deep breath for me?” Your heart fluttered at the way he said “for me”. He was right, you hadn’t breathed since before his hand was right in between your breasts. You took a deep breath, “Any pain.”

“Nope, no pain,” you breathed out, truly just relieved you weren’t dying.

“Then you’re all good.” 

“Thanks Spence,” he removed his hand from under your bra.

“No problem,” he opened his eyes and made eye contact with you.

“Spencer I’m still...” he clasped his hand over his eyes.

“I am so sorry, I completely forgot you were still-”

“Yep, no, don’t worry about it, innocent mistake,” your face was on fire as you reached for your shirt as fast as you could.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah Spence?” 

“You’re really pretty, and more people should tell you that,” your face heat up even more, and you didn’t think that was possible. 

“You think I’m pretty?” He didn’t say anything, just nodded, his hand still over his face. You stuttered over your words, “you’ve never said anything like that before,” he didn’t respond,  “You can open your eyes I have my shirt on now.” He moved his hand away from his eyes and smiled at you. 

“I did research and statistically, complimenting your best friend that you really like kind of gives it way 70% of the time, but since I’m really close to you and you had your shirt off 48 seconds ago, I’m kind of nervous, which made me start rambling, and now I’m gonna stop.” You smiled at him. He was way too cute for your own good.

“You like me?” You were already nervous being so close to him, you couldn’t process his words.

“Derek said you liked me back, so I thought I’d just go for it,” he was inching closer and closer to you, “Is that okay?” You nodded and his lips touched yours, his hands finding their way to your back. He was hesitant, but still firm. He pulled away from you and removed his hands from your back.

“We should do something tomorrow night,” you said once you caught your breath. 

“We could go to a movie...or something?” He shifted his tie.

“Yeah that’d be really great,” you kissed his cheek before leaving the file room, your heart still beating way too fast. You went to your desk, and Spencer came out a second later. Your smile never faded as you continued to type at your computer, glancing over at Spencer every once in a while. You watched as Derek approached Spencer’s desk.

“What the hell am I watching go down.” You don’t think you’d ever seen Derek happier. 

“I made, as you would say, a move.”

eee i hope you guys like this!!!

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer fic #criminal minds spencer

[peeboysupreme]

LIST OF SONGS FROM WIKIPEDIA’S LIST OF MUSIC CONSIDERED THE WORST RANKED FROM LEAST BAD TO WORST

I AM DISQUALIFYING “YES, SIR, THAT’S MY BABY” ON GROUNDS OF RANK RACISM AND “ !aaaH-aH ,yawA eM ekaT oT gnimoC er'yehT” FOR JUST BEING A NORMAL SONG PLAYED BACKWARDS

TIER ONE: NOT ACTUALLY BAD

1. WHAT’S UP BY 4 NON BLONDES. I GENUINELY LIKE THIS SONG BECAUSE I TOO CRY SOMETIMES WHEN I’M LYING IN BED JUST TO GET IT ALL OUT WHAT’S IN MY HEAD

2. WE BUILT THIS CITY BY STARSHIP. GRANTED THIS COULD BE BECAUSE OF THE COW VIDEO BUT THE COW VIDEO ALONE ELEVATED THIS SONG TO BEING PRETTY GOOD

3. SUSSUDIO BY PHIL COLLIINS. I THINK BALD MEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT

TIER TWO: BAD BUT BAD FOR EXCUSABLE REASONS

1. HOT PROBLEMS BY DOUBLE TAKE. THIS IS CLEARLY JUST TWO FRIENDS MESSING AROUND AND I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYONE GOT SO WORKED UP ABOUT IT.

2. FRIDAY BY REBECCA BLACK. REBECCA I’M SO SORRY

3. CHINESE FOOD BY ALISON GOLD. SONG IS UNDENIABLY BAD AND STEREOTYPICAL BUT LIKE FRIDAY IT WAS MADE BY A TWELVE YEAR OLD IN A CONTRACT WITH A PREDATORY MUSIC LABEL SO I CAN’T BE TOO MAD ABOUT IT

4. BABY BY JUSTIN BIEBER. I KNOW JUSTIN BIEBER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND HAS BEEN FOR YEARS AND THIS SONG IS BAD AND ANNOYING BUT AGAIN HE WAS JUST A TEENAGER WHEN THIS WAS MADE SO I CAN’T SUMMON TOO MUCH RAGE

TIER THREE: BAD IN A FUNNY WAY

1. DANCE WITH ME BY REGINALD BOSINQUET. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WILL PREPARE YOU FOR THE VOCALS ON THIS SONG

2. PARALYZED BY LEGENDARY STARDUST COWBOY. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WILL PREPARE YOU FOR *ANYTHING* ON THIS SONG

3. MACARTHUR PARK BY RICHARD HARRIS. A CLASSIC. SOMEONE GET THIS GUY A NEW CAKE RECIPE

4. LIFE BY DES’REE. SHE DOES NOT LIKE GHOSTS

5. MIRACLES BY INSANE CLOWN POSSE. EVERYONE ALWAYS MENTIONS THE MAGNET LINE BUT THE BIT ABOUT THE PELICAN STRUCK A CHORD WITH ME BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE

6. BARBIE GIRL BY AQUA. TBH IT’S ONLY IN THE FUNNY TIER BECAUSE OF THAT COURT CASE BUT BY GOD WAS THAT COURT CASE FUNNY

TIER FOUR: ANNOYING

1. DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY BY BOBBY MCFERRIN. FOR SOME REASON ALL OF THE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE FOR THIS HAD THAT ONE PICTURE OF BOB MARLEY AS THE THUMBNAIL YOU KNOW THE ONE

2. BIG YELLOW TAXI BY COUNTING CROWS. UNDENIABLY WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL BUT IT COULD ONLY BE CONSIDERED THE WORST EVER IF YOU ARE MAKING A DIRECT COMPARISON BETWEEN THE TWO SONGS. IT DID FEEL MARKEDLY LESS GENUINE THOUGH CAUSE THEY KEPT THE DDT LINE EVEN THOUGH DDT HAD BEEN BANNED FOR 30 YEARS AT THE TIME OF THIS SONG’S RELEASE

3. OB-LA-DI OB-LA-DA BY THE BEATLES. THE FOUR FAT SLUTS SHIT THE BED JUST A LITTLE BIT. FILM AT ELEVEN

4. WE ARE THE WORLD 25 FOR HAITI. BRIAN WILSON WAS IN THIS

5. TRUE BY SPANDAU BALLET. I ALMOST FORGOT TO PUT THIS ONE IN BUT IT’S THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF COLD OATMEAL

6. EBONY AND IVORY BY PAUL MCCARTNEY AND STEVIE WONDER. ANYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SAID ABOUT THIS SONG’S APPROACH TO RACE RELATIONS HAS ALREADY BEEN SAID SO ALL I CAN REALLY SAY IS THAT IT REALLY IS NOT THE BEST WORK OF EITHER ARTIST

7. THE BIRDIE SONG BY THE TWEETS. IT’S JUST THE CHICKEN DANCE SONG WITH SOME BIRD SOUNDS ADDED WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

8. COULD IT BE MAGIC BY TAKE THAT. ANOTHER ONE I NEARLY FORGOT. NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY ABOUT IT- IT’S NOT TRULY AWFUL BUT I WOULD NEVER LISTEN TO IT WILLINGLY

9. NOOKIE BY LIMP BIZKIT. I ALMOST PUT THIS ONE IN THE FUNNY TIER BUT THEN I REALIZED IT HAD TO BE FUNNY FOR A REASON OTHER THAN FRED DURST EXISTING

TIER FOUR: GENUINELY BAD

1. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL BY JAMES BLUNT. A TRULY GRIM THING TO WITNESS- TURN YOUR GAZE AWAY

2. YOU’RE HAVING MY BABY BY PAUL ANKA. I WAS PLANNING TO PUT THIS IN THE ANNOYING TIER BUT THE LYRICS TOWARDS THE END TOOK A WEIRD ANTI-ABORTION TURN

3. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT BY BAHA MEN. I HAVE VIVID MEMORIES OF THIS SONG FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AND I THOUGHT IT SUCKED THEN TOO

4. ICE ICE BABY BY VANILLA ICE. THIS SONG IS 50% MAYONNAISE AND THE ONLY REASON IT’S NOT LOWER IS THAT THE OTHER 50% IS UNDER PRESSURE

5. ROCKSTAR BY NICKELBACK. CAN YOU IMAGINE WAKING UP AND REMEMBERING YOU ARE A MEMBER OF NICKELBACK

6. THONG SONG BY SISQO. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS WHAT OLD PEOPLE WHO DONT LISTEN TO POP MUSIC THINK POP MUSIC SOUNDS LIKE.

7. MY HUMPS BY BLACK EYED PEAS. I DON’T THINK IT SOUNDS VERY GOOD

8. ACHY BREAKY HEART BY BILLY RAY CYRUS. BAD SONG SUCKS DONT LISTEN DONT LIKE GRR GRR

9. THE CHRISTMAS SHOES BY NEWSONG. THIS IS MEGACHURCH MUSIC. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE SORT OF THING YOU WOULD HEAR IN JESUS CAMP.

TIER FIVE: THE GRIM UNDERBELLY

1. IT’S EVERYDAY BRO BY JAKE PAUL. JAKE PAUL IS AN AWFUL PERSON IN GENERAL BUT EVEN AS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS FUCK ALL ABOUT RAP MUSIC I CAN TELL THAT NO ONE INVOLVED IN THIS SONG IS EVEN A PASSABLE RAPPER

2. LITERALLY I CAN’T BY PLAY-N-SKILLZ. BESIDES THE OBVIOUS MISOGYNY THIS SONG IS JUST MISERABLE TO LISTEN TO

3. THE CHEEKY SONG BY THE CHEEKY GIRLS. NOT EVEN SUCCEEDING AT MINDLESS ENJOYMENT, THIS SONG IS A FAILURE AT EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL

4. AGADOO BY BLACK LACE. I CONSIDER PSEUDO-”ISLAND” MUSIC MADE BY WHITE PEOPLE TO BE ONE OF THE WORST GENRES OF MUSIC IN EXISTENCE AND THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO LISTEN TO THIS AGAIN SENDS SOMETHING HORRIBLE SHOOTING UP MY SPINE

5. MR BLOBBY BY MR BLOBBY. I FELT SICK LISTENING TO THIS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE BRITISH

#long post #music

[pixie-broom]

ENDWALKER LEVEL 87 MSQ SPOILERS also long, incoherent ramblings ahead, beware

Still reeling from level 87 MSQ. Like god damn they really had to come for my emotional stability. I don’t even know why it got to me so much. I think it was me being more attached to Hades than I remembered and mourning that he would never remember the short time we worked together as allies in his paradise. He’s an unbearable asshole by all means, but you can tell how much he really cares. It takes a whole damn lot to earn his favor, and even though he still acted put out by the WoL’s presence and claimed he didn’t believe what we told them, even when everything thus far had proven it, it still felt like there was some sort of a… i dunno, connection? Camaraderie? Perhaps it comes from just, getting to know the past Hades, before everything went to shit. Before he had to watch the star he devoted his life to protecting burn. Before he had to witness his only remaining unsundered allies slowly driven into insanity. He even is offended by your retelling of what he does in the future, when he builds a copy of Amaurot with his memories, claiming it would be of utmost disrespect for him to do such a thing. It just goes to show just how lonely he was at that point in the future. How much the burden on his shoulders wore him down. Again, this is demonstrated when he claims he would’ve never been foolish enough to invite you to said hideaway. I really think he did that because, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, you used to be Azem. Maybe he knew, deep down, that you were going to kill him. And in the end, he truly did end up feeling like more of a long lost friend than an enemy; going so far as to send a shade to assist you in defeating Elidibus after his own death.

Another part is just…. The understanding. I fully understand why he did what he did now. The Ancients truly did live in a beautiful place, full of wonder and magic, and even though it had its problems, it was literally the only star out there who could find joy in life. Even despite that, it was still lost to ruin, all because of one man, broken and battered by the injustices of his society. Hermès was a good person too. He genuinely cared so much about the wildlife of Elpis, which ended up being his downfall. And don’t get me started on poor Meteion. She just wanted to protect Hermès until the very last.

And then Hythlodaeus, I think he’s my favorite of the ancients. Dude is just so chill, him and Hades’ dynamic was honestly so funny. The contrast between the friendly, easygoing, and slightly mischievous Hythlo vs mr grumpy pants Hades who acts all put out by anything and everything, it was just fun. I will now absolutely burst into tears every time I think of the phrase “New old friend”. He’s just so, benevolent almost. Like, in Shadowbringers especially, when his shade would show up to offer you advice in times of need. He was just always this caring, down-to-earth guy, even just his presence felt calming, to me at least. And then when you first arrive in Elpis, he immediately shows you — an unfamiliar, weird thing that clearly did not belong there — kindness, convincing Hades to provide you with aether, and he immediately accepts you and just, goes with the flow. That’s something he tends to do a lot. And it always makes me sad to see him being so humble, to a fault. He’s really pretty cool, but he always downplays his abilities and seeks only to help his friends in their dreams. Like dude pls you’re literally so awesome have faith in yourself!

Anyways this is incredibly long and very disjointed lmao. I cried more over that scene than I’ve cried in a long time (which tbf doesn’t say much, I am Emotionally Repressed(TM)) I’m still just, digesting everything. Again I still really don’t know why I got so emotional over it lmao, it just struck a chord in me for some reason.

#broomstick of light #ffxiv spoilers #ew spoilers #endwalker spoilers

[lnarizakis]

SAM HIT 1K !

hey, everyone! a few days ago i hit 1k followers and i’m so excited to share with you all this news! it’s been six months of writing, posting, and making new friends, and i’ve recognized the results of all of my efforts. thank you to everyone who’s been with me on this journey, even if i met you in march, or just yesterday!

i acknowledge that in the past i’ve been selfish and self-conscious about that number, but everyday i’m grateful that i have a growing number of people who have my back, supporting me, even if it’s through a simple like or even an anonymous ask telling me they really enjoyed a particular work of mine.

and, with everything you do in life, you encounter people who will support you, make your life better, and just know how to help you up when you’ve fallen: friends. that being said, i want to write a letter to all the friends i’ve made on here since i don’t know when i’ll be able to get the next chance to . . .

TRIS , i remember seeing you appear in the comments of almost all of my posts and i just want to thank you personally for always supporting what i have. you don’t realize how much every little comment means to me, really! it always puts a smile on my face to see you comment something and it feels like i’ve accomplished something, so thank you. @tris-does-stuff

HANA , you really don’t know how happy you’ve made me when you told me you were a fan of mine. it just... shocked me? to know that i have people out there that genuinely support what i do? we only really started talking for a couple of days but i feel a strong connection between the two of us (it really may be our matching mbti types, too!) and i’m so glad to be able to call you my friend. you didn’t hear this from me, but i constantly look back at the #anon makes me happy tag and read through those anonymous messages you sent me. i love them (and you) very much! @wansseul

ELLIOT , i know you as one of my biggest supporters for coaches don’t play, and i find that really heartwarming to see that even after, what, two months since i’ve updated, you reblogged it with the tag #thank you for updating! ! i was so happy to see that, and you even proceeded to send in an ask about it afterwards too! i know we don’t really talk often—but i definitely think we should— but i know that you’re so incredibly sweet, especially after i was having that rough slump of mine i think last month. you were so kind to tell me that you’d always be here if i need to talk with someone, so thank you very much. i’m very grateful to have met you! @keiyoomi

JJ , hey, jj!!! i know we haven’t talked in a hot second, but look! i’ve reached 1k followers! i remember you were around during my coaches don’t play days, and that you always sent an ask after almost every update. sometimes i fiind myself looking back at them and smiling, knowing that you were enjoying what i wrote, so thank you very much! i want to say another thank you for being there for me when i was feeling really down in the dumps, and for taking the time out of your day to write me a message on discord. i’m so grateful that you did so, and i hope life treats you well. also! i began reading the great gatsby for school, so we should talk about it sometime hehehe. @kunimwuah

DOVE , aka uvogin anon, dovey lovey, my favorite inbox invader! i . honestly don’t know how we met. like one day u just appeared in my inbox and BAM ! we started talking! and i don’t regret every single thing i send into your inbox (even beany cock) . i always look forward to whenever you send things in my inbox and i really mean it when i say you’re my favorite inbox invader >:) it makes me so happy to see you active on tumblr and to see what you bring me everyday. i am very grateful you’re in my life, and i hope we continue to talk more and more! @fantasiesofdreams

SAL , i remember the first time i talked with you! you liked one of my posts and i was like oh she seems cool, i’m gonna follow her and congratulate her on 400 followers. and soon enough, we started tagging each other in those tag games and later we just grew closer and closer! i’m so happy that we got really close and it always brightens my day to see you on my dash; you never fail to put a smile on my face. thank you so much for being my friend and always being there when i need a good laugh! @sugaanoya

AI , ai, ai love you! i remember following you for your “be my boyfriend” series, and i hope it continues on your new blog (no promises, of course!). i also was there during your blank kita era, and it was honestly something that made me laugh out loud. i’m pretty sure i turned on notifications for you at that point because i was so invested with this drama. you’re just an insanely nice person whose kindness rivals your love for suna (or is it sakusa? your disloyalty, tsk... just kidding!!!). i know that we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i will be sure to hop in your inbox and stay for a while some time soon. thank you so much for being my friend and i hope you stay happy and healthy! @wiintiier

KAI , aka caca wife! i remember when we started talking on rircus, and at first i didn’t really know who you were, until one fateful night when the conversation about caca happened. at that moment i knew we had similar senses of humor and i remember that i couldn’t stop laughing. it was the caca madness! if i’m being completely honest, i look up to you as a big sister that i’ve never had and i really appreciate you for that, so thank you for being in my life! @lcaita

NAOMI , aka newmie! i remember we first started talking in rircus and i want to thank you for welcoming me so kindly in the server, and especially during the first night we talked, which is when i had a problem and you helped me out immensely. i just want to say thank you for every time that you’ve helped me, talked to me, and made me feel better when i felt less than okay. i’m so glad that i’ve met you and i hope you accomplish great things in your life. @kuraomi

MICKIE , probably one of the only people on discord whose mesages i find myself laughing at a lot. you’re always brightening up the mood wherever you go, and i always find myself looking towards what you have to say today. thanks for that! i also think about that (may i say, really funny) exchange between the two of us on here when you went: “oh god i can’t believe HE’S almost dead ahhh” and i have no idea who you were talking about so i went “omg it’s sero,” and you went on this LONG RANT and it was just so funny to me!!! thanks for always putting a smile on my face. and also! thank you so, so much for suggesting that i get curtain bangs, a decision i really don’t regret! i was afraid i was going to hate them, but i find myself looking in the mirror a lot and thinking: “wow, that is a whole different person.” in a good way! so thank you very much. @tokyoghoose

GERE , aka my ex-wife... sorry about that :( . i never got to say sorry for that but the caca bond runs strong, i hope you understand. i just want you to know how much of a kind person you are, and especially how welcoming you are, too. i was so glad to be welcomed so kindly in your server and it’s become one of my favorites to talk in. i also want you to know, that especially with current times, that things will get better and i’m so glad you’re staying positive with everything going on recently. i love you for you, please remember that!!! @t-amajiki

ISSA , omg, girly pop. hahahaha!!! issa, you’re such a genuine person and i remember meeting you for the first time on rircus. you welcomed me with open arms and you were just the kindest person i met on there. you’re someone who’s just so beautiful inside and out, and the way you’re so large and in charge with your feelings is something i really admire about you. i know we don’t talk so often, but i hope we do. i want to thank you for being my friend, and especially always making me laugh! i love you very much, issa! @indigohitoshi

KYLIE , kylie!!!! the co-founder of our son, iwaizumi hajime. this was literally peak popularity and i knew i was never to get as many notifications as i did in that moment. of everyone i could have shared the account with, i am so glad that i was able to do it with you because we were able to grow closer because of that. now we have this weird inside joke that our son gets mad cooch, and that every day we must think of in another life. where are the daily in another life tiktoks??? of course, our son isn’t the only thing i associate with you. you’re such a kind, hilarious, and genuine person, and to be honest, sometimes i really worry for your wellbeing. get some more sleep, kyl!!! you deserve it. i want you to be grucchi, not tired and wanting to die. thank you so, so much for being my friend, and i am so happy that i met you! @peppermintkiddo

TO, LIKE, EVERYONE FROM RIRCUS , the best people i could ever meet. i’m sorry i couldn’t write an individual letter to all of you, since we haven’t interacted so often for me to pick out one specific memory that i could hold and cherish, but know that every time i come on rircus and talk with you, it is a moment that i will always remember! thank you so much for being my friends and i love you all so, so incredibly much. @kaoyuuuuu @reogou @haikyuu-but-low-iq @yooooooooooomi @samdwich @kenmauwus @shirasusgf @macaronnv @king-kawa

TO EVERYONE THAT CONSTANTLY LIKES, REBLOGS, OR COMMENTS ON MY WORK , you know who you are. i know who you are. i can literally tag you right now. but i think i’ll prefer to keep the anonymity. thank you so much for sharing my work, giving me feedback, and everything. it mean so much to me, especially if there’s a comment attached to the reblog. you make me do a little happy dance!!! i love you so much for what you do and i hope you continue to support me in every way possible!

FOR PEOPLE THAT I MISS/PROBABLY WON’T READ THIS

MEL , hi mel! i’m not very sure if you will read this, but i am so happy that i met you and that we began talking. i remember we began talking after i asked for people to send in memes for that meme war against my sister. i told you i won, right? well, i did. ahhaha anyways, i am very sad that we sort of grew apart and i hope that we can begin talking again soon. you were the highlight of my spring semester. i enjoyed talking with you so much. but i hope that you and your family are currently doing well and that you stay happy and healthy! i miss you very much, melon, thank you for being a part of my life!

RAENAH , hi rae! i think meeting you was a blessing, to be honest. i can’t remember a time when i was utterly annoyed by your presence, nor was i ever mad with you. you are such a kind person with such a pure heart, and during your time on tumblr you really showcased it for everyone to see. you were literally with me from literally the very beginning, during the “my name is...” days, and all i can say is that i am blessed to have met you! thank you so much for lighting up my life, talking to me whenever you made the time, and especially playing minecraft with me. it was so fun, even if it was for a short while. i hope you had as much fun as i had! again, thank you so much for supporting, befriending, and getting to know me because i will never forget you on tumblr dot com. i hope you stay well and make sure you rest often, especially with uni! @a-kaashi

MIYU , where has miyu gone? just kidding. i know you’re there. i hope you read this because i don’t want to tag your new blog. anyways, i just want you to know you make my dash ten times better. it’s literally so boring without you spicing it up, with you talking with anons and your mutuals. i definitely think i should invade your inbox more, what do you think? when i was starting on tumblr, you were a very big inspiration to me and i am very proud of all the works you write. you still are someone i look up to as a writer, because you have such a creative spirit and it makes me so happy you’re able to showcase it for everyone to see. i hope you are staying healthy and well right now, and thank you so much for being my friend!

GIGI , poop. i genuinely miss you very much, but i know that school takes a priority for you. i hope you’re doing well with your classes and that you find the man of your dreams. hopefully it is not the skater boy because you deserve someone as insanely hot as kurapika. no cap. i remember during my chrollo pfp guy craze you were there to deter me away from liking him, but let me just tell you, we’re getting closer tbh. ;) . just kidding, we really aren’t, but we’ve been talking quite a bit. i also want to tell you that you’re someone who’s made me smile with everything you say, and i find myself sometimes typing the way you do. you’re an influence, gigi! please stay happy and healthy and make sure you get lots of rest during your time at school! @gigiwrite

MARS , best for last, am i right? i’m not really sure when i first saw you on my blog, but i remember you’ve been here for a very, very long time. i think it was back in july when we first started talking. you were 🦊 anon, and it made me so happy to read that you felt comfortable enough to reveal yourself! from there, i knew we had a bond from the way we interacted with one another. you’re just such a kind person and you show that to everyone you meet. it’s a quality i wish i had in myself and i really look up to you for your genuinity. sometimes i feel like i don’t thank you enough for how kind you are to me, but just know that with every time i talk i’m always grateful that you’re in my life and that i’ve met you. i know you’re someone i can always lean on and i hope you see me the same. thank you so much for being in my life; you’re someone who means a lot to me. @maru5hka

TO BASICALLY EVERYONE HERE

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 1K!!!! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. i am so grateful for each and every one of you; you guys are so hot and sexy. i am so grateful to have met you all, even if it was just a simple “you’re added to the taglist!” or a “thank you so much!” i count it as you being my friend and you interacting with me. you guys aren’t my followers; you’re my friends. thank you so much for being my friend and being here for all of my weird shenanigans i have up my sleeve, whether it be my meme war against my sister, my obsession for blue lock, and my huge crush on chrollo pfp guy. well, here’s to me for being sappy and here’s to many more!

#sam’s 1k party #no im not doing anything i just wanted to give it a label #discord server maybe

[shes-an-oddbird]

Sunflowers, Snapdragons, Roses and Daisies

Dousy Week Day 2 - Prompt : AU - A Flower Shop and Fake Dating AU in one

Actually a little Multichapter AU fic I’ve been working on for awhile. Enjoy :)

Summary: While covering a shift at Jemma’s flowers shop, Daisy must help a customer with an unusual request. When they discover flowers may not be the right thing to solve Daniel’s problem, they work out a new solution.

AO3

The custom of bringing flowers to a date, while once a staple, has become an outdated practice and is regarded as an old-fashion tradition, now considered unnecessary outside of special occasions. To avoid social faux pas these occasions should be limited to anniversaries, holidays and birthdays; never first dates where the gesture may come off as creepy or overstepping.

Seriously, Daisy thought. Of all the creepy things men do, bringing flowers to their date hardly qualified. Why did Jemma even have her reading this book? That was that kind of mentality that was going to put her little flower shop out of business.

“Excuse me miss, I could use some help, when you have a chance.”

Daisy nearly falls off her stool. She looks up to see a handsome man standing on the other side of the counter looking around uncertainly. How long had he been standing there? She hadn’t even heard the door open. She wants to swear, mostly because she’s already messed up but also because she really doesn’t want to help anyone. Despite what her name might imply, she knows next to nothing about flowers. She was only supposed to cover the desk and phones while Bobbi was out today.

She falters, trying to assess the situation quickly. She could do this, it was just flowers. She looks the customer over, thinks again that he’s a good-looking guy, wearing a nice, if a little stuffy, suit. He probably just needs flowers for his wife or girlfriend. She glances at his hand. Girlfriend then.

“Of course, I’m sorry, I was just caught up in my book.” She closes the book, giving the impression of her full attention. “What’s the occasion, anniversary?” She hopes it is. You give roses on an anniversary, even she knew that. It’s funny, she thinks in the back of her mind, at another time, when she wasn’t trying to save Jemma’s shop from a horrible review, she might realize it was odd to wish for the good-looking guy with the polite smile to be taken but Bobbi has already warned her about that. All the decent guys who come in are already spoken for.

“I’m afraid it’s not quite so simple.” He answers sheepishly.

“Ok, well, let’s hear it, I’m sure we can find the right thing.” Her fingers curl around the edge of the book. Where was Jemma? She was supposed to be back from the greenhouse by now.

He seems to consider his answer carefully before replying. “It’s more of a congratulations.”

“That’s not so bad,” she flips the book back open, prepared to check the index. “What are we celebrating?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s probably not in your book.”

Daisy shakes her head. “This book comes with the Dr. Jemma Simmons stamp of approval, if it can be said with flowers, it’s in this book.” Or so she’s been told.

“My ex-girlfriend is getting married.”

Oh.

“That’s – well that’s, kind of passive aggressive, but some of these flowers do have pretty cruel meanings, I’m sure we can get the point across.” It makes him laugh which is great because that’s what she’d been going for. He was right, that wasn’t an easy one and she didn’t have a clue where to start. “OH! We have some great discount bouquets!”

“No, no, um, I’m happy for her, for them, really.” His shoulders are still shaking from laughing and she notices his eyes crinkle a bit at the corners, but after a moment of quiet he does let out a heavy sigh. He still needed something.

She gives him back a sympathetic smile. “My friend, she’s the owner, she should be back soon, if anyone can figure it out, she can.”

“No more faith in your book?”

“Umm.” Daisy flips the book to the list of flowers and their meanings. It was an insane amount of information, most of which was irrelevant according to Jemma. Customers who didn’t have much to spend asked for something pretty and simple. Customers with money to spare asked for something different. Nine times out of ten they didn’t care what the flowers meant, they either wanted a deal or to make a statement. She assumed in this guy’s case it was less about saying the right thing and more about not saying the wrong thing. He certainly couldn’t send roses to his ex to congratulate her on her wedding. But maybe some flowers with no romantic connotations. She could probably manage that. “You know what, I think we can put something together.”

He smiles back at her gratefully and follows her to the worktable set up in the middle of shop. Strewn across the table are rolls of red and blue ribbon from where she and Jemma had been finishing up some wedding flowers earlier that morning. She pushes it all aside into a messy pile and can hear her friend’s scolding tone about a neat workspace being a happy workspace.

“Does she have a favorite flower?” Daisy asks as lays out some paper the same way she has seen Jemma do.

He shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay, no problem.” Daisy looks around the shop. “Okay, what about – yellow!”

“I’m sorry?” He asks, not understanding her outburst.

“Yellow flowers, there are usually no romantic undertones associated with them.” She recalls as she grabs bins of yellow sunflowers, carnations, and daffodils, deposits them on the table and goes back around for the daisies, roses, and tulips. Eventually the table is full and Daisy returns her attention to the book.

By this point the customer has taken a seat at one of the stools by the worktable. He’s watched her shuffle around the store with amusement written across his face and now as she settles down to sort out his request he finally speaks again.

“Have you ever done this before?”

She looks up.

“Even once?”

“No.” She answers truthfully. She’s been caught, no point in lying about it. “But I’ve watched Jemma do this a million times, it’s not that hard.”

She expects him to stand and leave. Find a flower shop with a competent salesperson and a shelf dedicated to flowers for awkward occasions. Instead he remains seated. “Alright, where do we start?” With a surge of confidence, she continues.

She looks at the flowers. “Which do you like?”

 “Damn.”

“Still no good.”

“Disappointment and rejection, probably not going to work.” Daisy sets aside the yellow carnations. “I thought for sure, I mean we sell a ton of these.” So far, they have had to discard the marigolds, the roses, the chrysanthemums and nearly everything else she’s familiar with. The sole survivors are the daisies, the tulips and the sunflowers, and even those were on the fence.

They’d been at this for nearly an hour now. Daniel, he had eventually introduced himself, had made himself comfortable, removing his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. He was happy to fetch and return whatever she requested. Daisy, twice, had to stop to help other customers and each time he apologized for taking up too much of her time and insisted he could come back later.

She refused. They would figure it out even if it took all day.

“Who even decides these things,” Daisy groans as she rearranges the flowers in front of her. “Dark thoughts, false riches, who looks at bright yellow flowers and thinks that?”

“Sounds like someone with a broken heart.” Daniel replies.

“Maybe.” It was the best explanation she could think of. She scoops up the flowers and drops them into a vase so she can see them standing up. They flop lifelessly. She grabs up some of the filler greens to support them, but it still looks a mess. “This would be so much easier if you just hated your ex like a normal person.”

“She’s not the problem, if I could just go to the wedding I wouldn’t need the flowers at all, I could just bring a toaster oven or a blender or booze, like they registered for.”

Daisy sighs and shoves the vase away. “Why can’t you go to the wedding?” He must have been invited it he has the gift registry.

“I can, I want to,” he pauses, “you don’t think it’s weird, to go to your ex’s wedding.”

She shrugs. “Not if you were invited and as long as your happy for them, and you know, you’re not still in love her with her or anything like that.” Now she takes a moment to pause. “You’re not still in love with her, are you?”

Daniel’s expression turns soft and his tone is nothing but genuine when he answers. “No, I care about her, truly, she’s one of my closest friends, but I am happy for them.”

“So go, I see no reason why not.” She encourages. “Please go, because this is a disaster.” She gestures to the flowers.

“I don’t know, its growing on me.” He pulls the vase towards him and adjusts some of the flowers. Daisy immediately realizes he’s avoiding the ‘why not’ and while its not her place to pry, she’s curious now.

“What is the real reason you don’t want to go?”

“It’s that obvious?” She nods. “It’s really not them, it’s everyone else who will be there, we all work together and they know that when things ended between me and her it was really more on her and I was the one left with a broken heart, if I go, I just know I’m going to get that look, that poor pitiful Daniel look, all night long and I already get that enough of that as it is.”

“Why is that?”

“Hmm, oh.” Daniel stops fussing with the flowers. He turns on the stool and tugs up his pant leg to reveal a metal prosthetic.

“Oh well that will do it.” Her surprise gets the better of her and she doesn’t realize till after the words are out how they may have sounded. “Sorry, that was rude.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “No, it’s okay, I rather people didn’t make a big deal of it.”

She understands. Not what it was like to have a prosthetic leg of course but to have attention for something connected with less than pleasant memories.

The bell above the door jingles, pulling Daisy out of her thoughts. She looks up to greet the customer and instead see Jemma entering the store, a slight squishing sound following her as she trudges to the counter and dumps her bag and keys across it.

“You will not believe – “

“It rained?” Daisy interrupts.

“No, it did not rain,” Jemma runs her fingers through her damp hair trying to make it presentable. “The sprinkler system in the greenhouse went berserk, drenched my phone so I couldn’t call out, I had to run to get Fitz and drag him back there to fix it, I’ll be lucky if everything isn’t ruined.”

“That’s sounds terrible.” Daniel’s sympathetic reply catches Jemma off guard. She spins around with a look of horror on her face that fades just a bit when she sees them.

“Oh! I didn’t realize, Daniel Sousa – ” She surges forward, hand outstretched and a wide grin on her face. Daniel jumps up from his seat to meet her halfway and shake her hand in hello.

Daisy looks back and forth between them. “You two know each other?”

“Daniel is a regular customer.”

“Flower shops have regulars?”

Jemma rolls her eyes. “It’s so lovely to see you again, its been a bit since you’ve been in – “ She trails off, her eyes going wide as she spots her pristine workspace in perfect disarray. Daisy stands and attempts to position herself in front of the table to hide the mess. “What brings you in today?” She asks distractedly.

“It’s a long story.” Daisy is forced to move aside as Jemma steps forward to examine the bouquet Daisy had only moments ago deemed a disaster.

“Oh, I think I’d like to hear it if it somehow ends with this.”

“It’s my fault really, I wanted to send flowers to Peggy and her fiancé, as a sort of apology for not attending their wedding, Daisy was trying to help me put together something that would properly express that without sending the wrong message.”

“I see.” Jemma collects the last bins of flowers and returns them to their homes.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Daisy whispers to him.

“I feel like I just got you in trouble with the principal.”

Jemma returns to the table and inspects the bouquet again. “Well I can see where you were coming from here Daisy, but I told you, most people don’t read much into the meanings behind the flowers.”

“You’re the one that gave me the book!”

“Yes, and in that book, it also tells you that it’s not customary to send flowers for a wedding.” Daisy frowned. She hadn’t gotten to that part. “That said, I’m afraid flowers aren’t going to solve your problem Daniel.”

“That’s okay, it’s probably a sign that I just need to suck it up and go, let everyone whisper over their cake about poor single heartbroken Daniel a little bit longer.”

“That does sound truly awful.” Jemma says gently.

It does, but in that moment Daisy is struck by an idea. “Hey wait, why don’t you just bring a date?”

Daniel looks sheepishly at the ground. “I, I haven’t got anyone to bring.”

“Perhaps you could go out and meet someone new.” Jemma suggests.

“I don’t usually connect with people that fast and the wedding is this weekend.”

“Well it’s not like she has to be the love of your life or anything.”

“Daisy makes a very good point, you could always invite a friend.” Jemma suggests but Daisy already knows that won’t work either, a friend won’t eliminate the look of pity from his colleagues faces. She has only known Daniel for an hour but she’s already on his side. She wants him to have it all, to attend the wedding for his friends and to give a proper screw you to his coworkers. “What you need is a fake date, someone who you can pretend to be invested in just enough that they know you’re over your ex but not enough that the next time they see you they think to ask about her.”

“OH! You should take Daisy!” Jemma looks absolutely giddy, as if her sudden exclamation is a stroke of genius and hasn’t caught her best friend completely off guard.

“Wait what?”

“Well why not, she’d be the perfect fake date, no one will know her, you two clearly don’t mind spending a bit of time together, unless you made this mess all in five minutes,” she gestures again at her worktable. “And I promise under this apron she’s a total babe, no one would look at you and feel sorry for you, I promise.”

Daisy does notice that she is not the only one embarrassed by this proposition; Daniel looks flustered and unsure how to handle having a date just tossed at him. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“She wouldn’t mind, she really needs to get out more anyways.” Daisy slaps Jemma’s arm.

“I get out.”

Daniel shifts uncertainly. “Still, this wedding is kind of a high profile event.”

“She cleans up really well.”

Daniel’s eyes go wide. “Oh no, that’s not what I meant,” He looks frantically back and forth between them, “I’m sure you do, it’s just there is going to be a lot of people there and possibly media.” He shakes his head as if he can’t believe how ridiculous the notion is and again Daisy finds herself wondering who exactly this woman is. In fact, it has gotten to the point where she kind of wants to meet these people.

“Actually, it might be kind of cool.”

“What?”

Daisy considers for a moment longer before confirming her answer. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind, besides I feel like I’ve got to see this through to the end now, since the flowers were kind of a bust.”

It takes him a full minute to catch up. “Um, the wedding is Saturday, if you’re free?”

She nods.

“Okay.” He closes his eyes for a moment. “You’re really sure?”

“Yeah, it’ll be great, we can give those gossipy coworkers of your something to really talk about.”

“Alright, great.” He looks at their flower project and turns to Jemma “Can I still buy these?”

“You don’t have to – “

Daisy cuts Jemma off. “Oh my god no, this is, it’s really my problem, you can take the cost out of my pay Jemma.”

“No really, I actually kind of like it.” Daisy doesn’t believe that for a moment, but she also can’t think of any other reason why he’d want to keep the sad little bouquet.

Maybe Jemma does though? She smiles happily and scoops up the vase, “let me wrap them for you.”

#dousy #aos fic #dousyweek #Daisy Johnson #daniel sousa #my fic

[takerfoxx]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 5, Episode 13, “The Heart, Part 2,” First Impressions!

I am going to miss this show, I really am.

Well. Here we are. The final episode of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, an almost three decade later reboot of a show I’ve never seen, which in turn was a spin-off of a show I’ve never seen, and yet somehow became one of my favorite shows of all time.

Now, when this show was first announced, there was a lot of pushback. You had the usual murder’s row of so-called anti-SJW troglodytes who like to swoop in on anything that looks like it wasn’t designed with straight white guys in mind (and speaking as a straight white guy, these guys are just. So. Tiresome!), as well as fans of the original who didn’t care for the new character designs, direction, or lack of connection to Masters of the Universe. Which, okay, I get it, and to be honest the little to no He-Man business still strikes me as weird, but come on guys. It’s been almost thirty years! Times have changed, audiences have changed, and the targeted audience of kids’ shows today are very different from what they were in the eighties. 

But despite all that nontroversy, She-Ra rose above and established itself as a genuinely great show in it’s own right, becoming both a critical and commercial success. Like, okay, it wasn’t Avatar the Last Airbender or Steven Universe-level big, but it definitely established a real niche for itself and gathered a sizeable fanbase. The excellent writing, incredibly on-point comedic timing, superb voice acting, casual diversity, oodles of complex and likeable characters, tight-plotting, mature handling of difficult topics, and immaculate direction made it out to be an amazing children’s show from a decade that has had no shortage of amazing children’s shows, and expectations were insane for the final season, with the climatic final episode being under incredible scrutiny. 

I mean, it makes sense, right? For once, given the huge LGBTQ fanbase the show has, and given how many times the LGBTQ community have been burned at the last second, there is little wonder that they would be wary. And while some shows like the aforementioned Avatar the Last Airbender and Breaking Bad have remained of high quality throughout its run and delivered with an excellent finale (or so I’m told, still working my way through), others like Voltron Legendary Defender and Game of Thrones have become notorious for shitting the bed in their latter halves, and other shows like Steven Universe have had more mixed receptions. So how would She-Ra turn out? Would it end up flopping at the end, or would it stick the landing and enter the pantheon of shows that actually completed their entire story arcs and are fondly remembered?

Yes. Yes, it did. 

The final season was spectacular. It started off all right, but from the third episode on immediately turned into pure brilliance, one that seemed to constantly top itself with wonderful character development, emotional payoffs, scenes of gripping tension, ballsy writing, and fantastic action. And any finale that makes me cry gets a thumb’s up from me.

Now, obviously I have a lot of gushing to do, but before it do, I should point out that I don’t think the finale is 100% perfect. There are things that kind of bugged me, and a few others that I felt really could have done better. Of course none of them were deal breakers, only little flaws that I feel could have stood to either have had more focus or different execution. And I might as well get the negative things out of the way.

And for me, the biggest problem is Shadow Weaver’s exit. 

And to be clear, I don’t have a problem whatsoever with Shadow Weaver dying. I wanted her to die. I’m glad she died. Nor do I have a problem for her dying to save the two girls she’s spent two decades abusing. And nor do I have a problem with them mourning her death, given that they never actually forgave her, and it only made sense that they would have complicated feelings toward her. All of those are fine!

What I have a problem with is how that moment was framed and directed. It was framed like a heroic sacrifice, from the dramatic final stand moment to Shadow Weaver being suddenly acting selfless to her telling Catra how proud she was of her and finally showing her face. 

Everything about that moment was exceptionally well done, yes, but the problem I have is that it doesn’t feel earned. That’s the sort of end you give a morally complex character that has been struggling with their negative qualities throughout a long character arc. And I’m sorry, but while Shadow Weaver is a pretty great and complicated character in her own right, she as never even tried to redeem herself until that moment. With Catra, we still saw how much her actions haunted and tormented her, even when she was at her worst. We saw her wrestling with her ingrained toxic behaviors and her conscience, so that when she finally makes the decision to do something right and, as far as she knew, sacrificed her life to rescue Glimmer and save Adora, it felt all kinds of earned!

But even after defecting to the Princess Rebellion, Shadow Weaver showed no signs of wanting to change. She showed no signs of regretting her mistreatment of Adora and Catra, and still continued to demean, undercut, and gaslight them whenever she was with them, and whenever she was called out on it, she would just brush it off and/or roll her eyes. Even when she was “helping” and “praising” her golden child Adora, she still continued to try to twist her head and mold her into what she wanted Adora would be. And her treatment of Catra didn’t change at all.

So I’m sorry, but that moment just didn’t work for me. Yes, I know Noelle has said that her sacrifice was still selfishly motivated, and I believe it, but it still felt off, especially with her finally telling Catra that she was proud of her, when she was AGAIN demeaning her earlier in that same episode! It carries the unintentional implication that Catra needed Shadow Weaver’s validation in order to move on. I honestly would have preferred that she never got it but realized that she didn’t need it to begin with. And that “You’re welcome,” which is incredibly condescending, was framed as a badass final line. There’s a disconnect between her character arc and its payoff that feels off. I wish something had been handled differently. 

The second issue I had was just how rushed a lot of the character payoffs felt at the end. Yes, I know Noelle said that she doesn’t want to do an epilogue and would like us to decide for ourselves how things turned out, and that’s fine. But one day later wouldn’t hurt. Wrong Hordak was shown a couple times cowering next to Swift Wind in group shots and then straight up disappeared. And given their complicated history together, Scorpia and Catra deserved so much more than just a hi and a hug. Chipped Micah was given more time to harm and demean Glimmer than real Micah was given to love her. The Entrapdak thing got more focus and despite what I said about Hordak needing to either die or lose his memories, I’m not too upset that he didn’t do either, but instead simply broke free and got a happy ending, and Mermista’s line of, “So, are we like okay with this?” was great, but it feels like there should have been more. And I know they never had their own character arc and did all they needed to do last season, but if you’re going to bring Double Trouble back, then give us more than just one episode and a two-second cameo at the end. 

Like, just give us some kind of montage of the rebuilding stage. Show us Wrong Hordak leading his scared and confused brothers in becoming individuals. Have him meet the real Hordak and show us how they would respond to one another! Give us a proper Catra/Scorpia reconciliation! Do more with Double Trouble or don’t bring them back at all. Hell, pair them up with Wrong Hordak partway through the season so they could bounce off each other, because that would be comedy GOLD! And while I’m glad that we at least got to see Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio (and they adopted Imp!), it sucks that that was their only scene this season, and it didn’t even have any lines. I’m not so upset about Huntara, because I know her voice actress is hard to get ahold of, so I’m okay with her just getting a wordless scene, but the others kind of bug.

I understand that time was a factor, but surely something could have been done.

All right, now I got all those out my system, let the gushing BEGIN!

Catra and Adora. Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man oh man. Now, I know I said that Catra needs to leave in order for her redemption to work, but even though she didn’t and got pretty much forgiven and accepted by everyone she hurt, I’m still very happy with how her redemption arc went down. Because she made the switch early in the season, showed genuine regret for what she did, made real attempts to apologize to those she hurt without expecting forgiveness, was shown wrestling with her bad traits, sometimes falling back into them, sometimes almost succumbing to bad habits, but was also shown finally making the right decisions and rising above them. She was the best-written character in the show with the most complex character arc, and they fucking NAILED the landing. 

And that is because of her love of Adora. 

Catra and Adora, two white-hot messes of weirdly compatible issues. Catra is so afraid of abandonment that she instinctively pushes those she loves away or runs away herself rather than let them leave her, and Adora only knows how to place others before herself, to be selfless to a fault, take all the blame for everything, and not let herself be the one who’s loved and protected. The two needed each other in order to overcome their issues, to put aside the damage Shadow Weaver instilled in them.

And they finally did.

Catra came back for Adora. She stayed by her side, refused to leave, and refused to let Adora give up. And Adora rose above her feelings of failure, allowed herself to be loved by another, and became whole. 

And then we got it. We finally got the moment we’ve all been waiting for, all been praying for, all wanted so goddamned desperately. 

We got the Big Goddamn Kiss.

The love each other. They’re lovers. They’re soulmates. After everything, how could they be anything else? It’s pure, 100% romantic love, a full, no ambiguity friends-to-rivals-to-enemies-to-allies-to-lovers storyline. Not subtext, no reading between the lines. It’s real, it’s canon, it’s between the two main leaders, and it happened right on the screen and saved the goddamned world.

Catra finally reached out to someone and showed love, and Adora finally allowed herself to be brought up and loved. And it’s that love that overcame Horde Prime’s virus and destroyed the Heart of Etheria. It’s that love that freed the magic, released She-Ra, and allowed her to vanquish Horde Prime once and for all. 

And hey, two girls kissing, turning into a rainbow, and annihilating the influence of a controlling religious cult and the symbol of exploitative colonizers? Hmmm, subtle!

I love it. 

Look, after everyone talking about how much the finale made them cry, and after already sobbing my eyes out when Angella sacrificed herself in season 3, I was worried that I wouldn’t feel the same, that everything had already been spoiled for me so it wouldn’t have the same emotional impact. Hell, the kiss itself had been spoiled for me! So if I knew it was coming, how could it affect me like it did others.

I was wrong. I was so wrong. When Catra screamed at Adora that she loved her and always had, the tears came gushing out. And when they finally did kiss, it made me happier than I had been for a long time. It was such a beautiful moment, and it was so wonderful to see all the magic unleashed, turning Etheria back into the paradise it was meant to be, and the Spire into a giant floating sprig of broccoli!

The Horde was finally defeat, and Horde Prime ripped out of his Wi-Fi network and destroyed once and for all. He will not rise again. His corrupted vision of purity is finally eradicated once and for all, and the galaxy is free again.

It was wonderful.

Other moments I want to highlight! Beginning with Bow! 

Oh Bow. I haven’t talked as much about you as I did at the start of the show, but you really are wonderful. After similar unpowered male goofball sidekicks like Xander and Sokka being big balls of toxic masculinity and ingrained misogyny caused by insecurities that they had to overcome, we get an unpowered male goofball sidekick who is a shining example of positive masculinity, someone who knows who he is and is comfortable with it, someone who more than holds his own in battle, constantly makes himself useful, and stands proud with his superpowered friends. And even then, he still feels like real person, one that gets frustrated, feels down, and gets angry at both himself and his friends, but still continues on, because he’s a soldier and that’s what he does. 

So it was wonderful that he got the Rise Up and Fight speech, because he deserved it, and oh it felt so good, seeing all those instances of people throwing off Horde Prime’s control while his words were playing. Bow really is wonderful.

And Hordak! Look, I know what I said about wanting more from his ending, but my God, that moment when he threw off Horde Prime’s control and shot Horde Prime in the back to save Entrapta and reclaim his identity was so! Fucking! Cool! I was cheering in my car when that happened! So good! 

And hey, give it up for Glimmer for not listening to Chipped Micah and refusing to back down. She overcame a brilliant sorcerer wielding dark magic through the power of sheer stubbornness! Chef kiss, beautiful!

Though I really do think she got most of her stubbornness from her mom. Miss yah, Angie. 

And Scorpia and Perfuma? Why, I think I like that quite a lot! Why yes, give Perfuma a big, strong girlfriend with a huge heart! Give Scorpia tiny, cute hippie girlfriend who will take no shit from anyone. Yes, I like this very much.

So...yeah. This really was wonderful. The world is saved, the Best Friend Squad is about to go on a space romp, and it feels good. And from there? Well, Noelle told us to come with that ourselves, so yeah, I’m sure Etheria was able to fully rebuild following the Horde’s destruction. I’m sure that Wrong Hordak became some kind of benevolent leader to his lost brothers and helped them come to grips with their individuality. I’m sure that Scorpia rebuilt the Scorpion Kingdom from the Fright Zone’s ruins and made it a haven to the lost Horde soldiers. I’m sure that Sea Hawk and Mermista burned down a boat together. I’m sure that Glimmer and Bow were married and became king and queen of Brightmoon and had a long and loving reign with lots of babies. I’m sure that Entrapta was given all the discarded Horde and First Ones tech to crack and find good uses for and remained as happy as a clam, especially considering the Hordak harem she’s built. I’m sure that Adora and Catra continued to build each other up, helped and supported one another to keep themselves from falling into bad habits, and Melog was always there as a faithful therapy magi-cat. I’m sure that Perfuma helped Catra along with meditative exercises and Catra never had the heart to tell her that she was just napping. I’m sure that Frosta grew up to be a strong and powerful queen who also founded her own iceball league. I’m sure that everyone started going to Netossa and Spinnerella’s game nights and just decided to put up with Netossa when she got like...that, because at that point she deserved to. I’m sure that Swift Wind finally did emancipate the horses and taught them to form their own weird society, but still made time to visit Madam Razz. I’m sure that Kyle and Rogelio became proud adopted fathers of little Imp, and one day while chilling at the local pub, Lonnie caught the eye of a big, strong purple woman. 

I’m sure they were all very happy from there on.

I am going to miss this show. It was a wonderful experience, one that’s given me so much. It made me laugh,it made me cry, it made me cheer, it made me shiver, it made me bite my nails, but most of all, it made me happy. 

So thank you Noelle and Molly. Thank you Chuck and Mary Elizabeth. Thank you Sunna and Aaliyah. Thank you Aimee, AJ, Karen, Marcus, Keston, Reshma, Lorraine, Christine, Adam, Genesis, Vella, Merit, Gina, and Jordan. Thank you to all the writers, animators, and directors. Thank you to everyone who worked on this show. Thank you all.

And a very special thank you to @smxmuffinpeddling​ for filling my dash with She-Ra content, which convinced me to check this show out in the first place!

#she ra and the princesses of power #she ra #spop #adora #catra #bow #glimmer #horde prime #hordak #mermista #sea hawk #swift wind #shadow weaver #scorpia #perfuma #wrong hordak #frosta #netossa #spinnerella #best friend squad #entrapta #catradora #entrapdak #glimbow #micah #etheria #all the tags! #john cena! #noelle stevenson #molly ostertag

[xiao8-bb]

Man, I Feel Like A

A Linked Universe fic

[chapter 1]

Chapter 2: A Sticky Situation [posted on ao3 here]

At what point is it considered appropriate to tell your travelling companions you’re actually a man, and at what point are you supposed to take the secret to your grave?  Wild has no idea and it’s driving him mad with anxiety.  He’s kinda waffling towards keeping it a secret forever at this point.

It’s not like he’s a man all the time.  He was genuinely just having a lot of girl days at first and so forgot about the problem, and he didn’t bother to correct anyone on a boy day when they happened.  But now it’s been a few months, he’s been a boy consistently for at least a week now, and if anyone calls him “she” one more time he thinks he might solve his problem purely through violence and yelling.

This is such a weird problem.  He’s used to the opposite in his Hyrule, where he’d be having girl days and be constantly called “young man” or whatever.

The funniest part?  He wasn’t even a girl when he first met them.  He came straight out of Gerudo Town after talking with Riju on a boy day and didn’t think to correct them, and now look.  It’s been months.  

Gender is an awful curse sent down by Hylia Herself for using Her name in vain too often, and now Wild has to reap the consequences.  What a vindictive goddess.  He endeavors to use it all the more wastefully whenever he has this thought.

Usually it’s not much of an issue.  He calls his ever shifting moods “girl days,” “boy days,” “goron days” for the times he feels more neither than anything.  Almost always, he feels like… half a gender at most.  Like he took a bite out of an apple and found that enough.  

On girl days she fixes in an earring Issha recommended and calls it a day.  She hardly ever bothers correcting people, like how the Gorons won’t mind if you call one sister instead of brother.  On boy days, he puts in a different kind and knows it’s enough.  Even if the Gerudo call him Little Hylian Vai (as they’ve taken to nicknaming him), he feels about the same as he always does.  Goron days are the easiest, where they forgo the earrings entirely.  There’s the little thrill when someone gets it right, but it’s not a big deal.  Link is Link, after all.  At his core, no matter if he’s called Wild or Link or Champion, no matter if he’s called a boy or a girl or, once, a hellion menace to society, he’s always solely himself.  Gender feels more like an accessory than it does part of his identity.

Except it’s been months, and Wild is going insane.  He didn’t realize how much he depended on the occasional slivers of—validation? insightfulness? understanding?—having someone call him correctly.  His friends back home knew, at least in few in almost every major settlement, and they always referred to him correctly after checking his ears.  

At the risk of being redundant: Wild has gone months without that.  In one go, he solved the problem of being referred to almost solely as a man and ended up with the problem of being referred to solely as a woman.

And now the second problem: how in the name of Hylia (blessed goddess who is the source of all his troubles) is he supposed to tell the others?

Hey, I know you’ve been under the impression I’m a woman this whole time, but surprise, I’m actually a man!  Except it’s not all the time, but today I am and have been for the past week.

Could you do me a favor and call me he until I tell you to stop, and to keep doing that if I ever ask again?

You know when that man in the town two portals back said to grow some balls and take up his gambling challenge?  Might’ve found a solution to that.

“What’re you muttering to yourself?” Twilight asks, and Wild nearly drops his armful of mushrooms back to the ground with a squeak.  He turns with wide eyes to see the rancher raise an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing!”

He gets a disbelieving sigh at that, but he’ll take it.  Better Twilight believe he’s planning to dump Goron spice into someone’s bowl than hear what he’s saying before he’s found the words.  

Wild stands up from his crouch, disappearing his haul into the slate.  “Did you get the herbs I asked for?”  At Twilight’s affirmative, they start heading back to the camp in companionable quiet.  They hadn’t wandered too far off, but it’s still a walk back.

It’s Twilight who breaks the silence first.  “Say, Wild…”  He stops, both verbally and motion-wise, forcing Wild to stop as well.  Wild looks up at the man’s face.  There’s hesitance writ in the uptick of his mouth, and his gaze is unreadable.  “You’re a good kid, you know that?”

“Huh?  What brought this on?”

“Ah, it’s been a few months since you’ve joined our group, hasn’t it?  Got thinking, ‘s all.  You’ve got a good heart, so don’t hesitate to let us know if anything’s bothering you.”  He reaches out and ruffles Wild’s hair, smile widening into something genuine when Wild protests and pulls back.  “You’ve been looking a bit down.”

He… hadn’t realized his mood has been that obvious.  Wild looks down and kicks the dirt under his feet, hoping his ears aren’t as red as they feel.  A sincere, well-intentioned talk about his feelings?  Horrible.  Worst experience of his life.  “I’ll—”  His voice catches.  “I’ll be fine, Twi.”

He doesn’t need to look up to know Twilight is giving him that look, the one Wind calls the Big Brother Face.  “If you say so.  Just know we’ll be willing to listen and support you,” he says, gentle as if Wild is one of his goats.  

Wild runs his tongue over his teeth, feeling warmth and dread in equal amounts prick at him.  “Of course.”

And he’s not lying.  They’re all kind people at heart.  No one will care.  You don’t know that for sure, a little nagging voice says.  You lied to them for months, another hisses.  Should’ve spoken up earlier.  He can imagine the twinge of hurt in Hyrule’s face, the particular furrow in Legend’s forehead, the way Wind’s smile will drop a little if he tells them he’s been lying for so long and, worse, that they might’ve been hurting him, unintentional though it may be.  They’re too kind, is the problem.

It would’ve been one thing if he’d told them earlier.  Easier to laugh off, to brush aside as something that hadn’t crossed his mind until just then.  Like it wasn’t an intentional farce—it wasn’t!  Wild isn’t different at all, not where it matters.  Clothing doesn’t factor into it, because he’d wear whatever regardless of gender.  Neither does the way he acts, because a sashay is fun to pull off at any time, and as a girl Link has no problem swimming shirtless.  He’s just been going with the flow.

It feels like a farce though.  He never lied, not really, but he didn’t fix any of their assumptions, didn’t say anything, for months.  It’s a lie of omission that sits sour on the back of his tongue.

Twilight clicks his tongue, waiting until Wild looks back up at him to speak.  “Is it dangerous?  Whatever’s bothering you.”  He doesn’t seem stern or any more solemn than earlier, just an open, neutral expression on his face.

Uncomfortable, yes.  Dangerous?  No, not unless they run into a monster that feeds off conflicted guilt and pent up frustration.  Wild shakes his head.

“Then I’m not gonna pry.  I’ll keep Time from trying to dad you too, if you want.”

Unbidden, a giggle slips out of Wild.  “‘Dad’ me?”

“You didn’t think I’m the only one who’s noticed you’ve been down, did you?  I just got first dibs.”

Wild lets himself laugh fully at that, ignoring the stone in his stomach.  

-

Warriors flicks his gaze to the campfire, where a still-smiling Wild sits in front of a cooking pot.  She and Twilight had returned a while ago, snickering like mischievous children while sneaking looks to Time.  Old Man’s probably going to get some nasty purple chu jelly in his dinner tonight, he’s assuming.  A bit of a surprise she’s got Twilight in on it, though.  

It’s good to see that Wild’s in a better mood than before.  She’s been… not sullen, but a tension none of them can ease has been sitting on her shoulders for a few weeks now.  There’s nothing obvious that brought it on, but it’s heavy enough that even Legend will have worry flashing across his face whenever Wild pulls away from their group with no indication as to why.

“She’ll say something when she’s ready to,” he hears Twilight murmur to Time.  They’ve got some mentor/mentee plan going on to get Wild out of her mood.  Successful, he supposes; she’s been dropping off into frowns whenever left alone in her thoughts for too long, but right now she’s almost definitely brightened up enough to pull a prank.

Still, he can’t help but scoot over to insert himself into the conversation.  “It’s not anything dangerous, right?”  He trusts that she would tell them if it were; Wild is the least team friendly player in their group, but she’s got enough sense in her to know what’s necessary.

Twilight shakes his head.  “Confirmed it wasn’t.”  Here he hesitates, and his words come out slow, deliberate.  “I’m not sure if it’s… one of her memories?  I don’t remember there being one before she started acting weird, but it might’ve come as a dream.”

Warriors purses his lips, thinking.  It could be.  He’s certainly entertained the thought before.  Wild doesn’t fall into a memory too often, but they’re hard to hide, so everyone became aware of her amnesia and subsequent flashbacks sooner than later.  Almost always she’ll draw into herself a bit, hidden away in a large cloak until the world stopped being too loud and bright for her, and even then Wild would still be withdrawn until something coaxed her out of her shell.

It doesn’t feel like it, though.

He takes another look at Twilight’s face.  It says it all.  “You don’t think that’s it.”

The rancher really is a farm boy through and through, honest as the day is long.  “I overheard her talking to herself earlier, but I’m not sure what I heard and it’s not my place to say anyway.”

A sigh, and Time hauls himself up to his feet.  “Then we wait,” he says decisively.  They watch him amble over and strike a conversation with Four about the forest they’ve landed in.  Twilight goes back to sharpening his sword.

Warriors’s mind is still stuck on Wild, though, and he’d bet a bag of rupees so is Twilight’s.

He prides himself on being a good commander.  Quick to judge a situation and quick to notice if anything is wrong, able to lead squadrons of forces with only minutes to prepare.  Often, his command was too numerous for him to know everyone, but he did his best to be there for anyone who needed it.  Perhaps it’s foolish of him—too many faces, half-familiar from life, unmistakable in death haunt him to this day—but he refuses to give up caring.  It hurts, but to hurt is to be alive, and he carries his ghosts with him even as he locks eyes with a new trainee.

Here, their motley group is a lot smaller than the armies he used to command.  He’s never been an older brother before, but he finds himself falling into it naturally.  It’s easy to tug on the back of Hyrule’s tunic to keep him from wandering off, normal to nudge Four and encourage him to keep talking about smithing, effortless to pull Wind into a friendly scuffle.  With Wild, he finds himself looking after her like it’s instinct.

Maybe it’s because she’s still young at heart.  The scars riddling her face and body age her up years, but there’s something heartwrenchingly childlike about the way she’ll wander off from the group to catch a bug or pick a plant, not understanding why they’ll scold her to stick with them.  She’ll often show her finds off, grinning like there aren’t a million twigs in her hair and mud on her face.

It’s painful to see someone like that pull away without any indication as to why.

He sighs, leaning back on his palms to look at the evening sky.  The brightest stars are beginning to shine, flickering around the rising moon.  The smell of sweetly roasted vegetables wash over him.  Quick headcount: Sky and Wind sparring; Twilight sitting nearby; Legend checking their perimeter, Hyrule with him; Four and Time talking about where to go; Wild at the campfire, standing up and stretching.

“Dinner’s ready!” she announces, loud enough that Legend and Hyrule should hear.  Without waiting, she begins pulling out plates from her slate and spooning out portions.  Warriors watches her closely enough that he sees the glob of something purple being hidden under some greens.

Definitely purple chu jelly from Twilight.

It travels down the line, Warriors hesitating before handing it off to Time, who’s last.  It’s all in good fun though, and Wild’s figured out (after much trial-and-error) how to make sure the jelly doesn’t kill anyone, so he keeps quiet, only checking his own plate to make sure he’s not going to be a victim as well.  Wild catches his eye and winks.  Twilight, across the campfire, has a little feral edge to his grin.

Warriors watches with bated breath as Time takes a scoop of his food.  It’s riveting, seeing his expression go from pleased and content to I-will-kill-whoever-did-this.  Reminds him of the little pissed off kid he knew before meeting him again as an adult.

Time raises his head to glare balefully at Wild.  “Why did you do this.”  It falls flat of being a question.

“Do what?” Wild asks back, eyes wide and confused.  “I thought you liked carrots?”

Wind giggles into his own meal, shoveling another bite into his mouth when that earns him an unamused look.  “I didn’ do nothin’!” he protests before Time even starts saying the accusation.  “Yer face wa’ funny.”

“Don’t talk while chewing,” Sky reminds him.  “Time, what’s wrong with it?  Mine tastes fine?”

Without speaking, Time takes another scoop and presents the purple chuchu glob.  The camp falls into hysterics, speaking all at once.

“Some weird seasoning you’ve got there, Old Man.”

“Are you going to need a potion?”

“Where did someone even get their hands on that?”

Warriors sits back, letting the rambunctious laughter and chatter surround him.  Wind denies it some more, pointing to Hyrule, who was apparently looking at Time’s dinner too intently.  Hyrule denies it right back, pushing the blame to someone else too.  There’s shouts of protest as accusations go flying.  He tunes it out, just smiling to himself.  A small prank, but a big reception.  It’s nice to see spirits so high, especially Wild’s.

He’s too busy feeling reassured at Wild’s bright, impish grin that he nearly misses the accusation thrown at him.

“—paused before giving it to Time, too.”  Legend says this nonchalantly, but one’d have to be blind to miss the smirk he shoots Warriors as he says it.  “Seems suspicious to me.”

Twilight makes a faux thoughtful noise, failing to hide his laughter as Warriors whips his head around to stare in betrayal.  “He was rummaging through our bags earlier, could’ve taken it from mine or Wild’s packs then.”

Warriors splutters, “I was taking inventory!  You know, the thing I do every other night?”

There’s a little gasp from Four, too theatrical to be natural.  “He was staring at Time when we started eating too…”

Betrayal!  Ganged up on by the miserable lot he dared call his brothers!

Clearly they’ve figured out it wasn’t him.  Wild’s just about collapsed with laughter at the sight of his panicked face, but it’s obvious no one wants to spoil her fun.  Time gives him the sternest, most I-am-your-father-listen-to-me face he can muster and says, “What do you have to say for yourself, Warriors?  Why would you put purple chu jelly in this delightful meal Wild worked hard on?”

Warriors is speechless.  Wild titters, looks up to see Time raising an eyebrow at Warriors, and breaks back out into gleeful wheezing.  Wind and Legend don’t seem to be far off, delighted at his misfortune.  

Golden goddesses, the things he does for family.  “You’ve done it,” he says, strangled, “you’ve caught me in my dastardly tricks.  Oh woe is me, what punishment will I be given?”  Sky is the next to break, hiding his laughter behind a hand.

Time, the little snot, looks at him with thin, disappointed lips and mirth dancing in his eyes.  “This,” he intones gravely.  The purple chu jelly jumps from his spoon and smacks into Warriors’s face.

Even Twilight is losing it now.

“ARGH!” he squawks, not expecting Time to actually go through with it.  It’s to the others’ cackling that he slumps to the ground, groaning at the sticky feeling on his cheek.  He can deal with a little grossness (no matter what Legend says), but it’s not a nice feeling when he could be clean and not sticky.  

Someone hands him a clean cloth.  Hyrule, bless his heart.  It’s one of Twilight’s cloths, so he feels no guilt in scrubbing off the jelly and throwing it at the traitor himself.  Twilight takes the assault with a grin, the infectious mood lingering even as the laughter calms down.

“Here.”  A scarred hand dips into view, and Wild refills Warriors’s bowl with some fried greens fresh from the pot.  Steam rises up lazily.  She smiles at him through it, cheerful and alive like she hasn’t been for the past week, and he instantly forgives her for pulling him into her prank.

He takes a bite and sighs.  Fresh, still sweet yet crispy from quickly frying it.  “Delicious as ever,” he compliments, trying to force some grudge into his tone.  Wild sees right through him and beams wider.  “Oh, shove off.”  He wipes a hand, still a little sticky with goo, across her nose, grinning himself when she shrieks a little in delight.

“Be careful, mister, or else the goo’s going in your meal next!” she teases before scampering off to her own meal.

It’s sometime after dinner that Time approaches him.  “Thank you for playing along.”

Across the clearing, Wild’s wide grin has dropped to a faint upturn of her lips.  She’s scuffling with Wind and the large wolf that follows their group every now and then, trying to claim a sleeping spot.  She’s happy, and after the past week of halfhearted interaction, it feels like everything.

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

-

The sun’s rays are beginning to skim past the treetops when Wild wakes up.  Legend notices immediately; there isn’t anything hostile in the area, so he’s been sitting closer to camp for the past hour now.  He doesn’t say anything when she sneaks out—at least, not at first.  When she doesn’t return after 10 minutes, 20, he shakes Twilight awake to keep watch before following.

She hasn’t gone far, just within hearing range if someone shouts.  Legend stands at the treeline, watching her pull and put back different earrings from that slate of hers.  Studs, hoops, drops, different fashions he can’t name, all reflective of masterful craftsmanship.  They gleam in the early morning light as she holds each pair up for examination.

“You can choose today’s accessories from the camp, you know,” he calls out.  Wild, to her credit, doesn’t react other than her shoulders raising a few centimeters.  “Pretty sure Wind won’t try stealing them.”

That earns a short laugh.  “He wouldn’t dare unless he wants his breakfast burned.  Besides, I’m just… trying to decide how I feel today.  Hard to do that around that noisy lot.”

Legend stops in his tracks.  Normally he’d like to tease, but there’s something brittle about her voice.  “Want me to leave then?” he offers.  He may be a prick, but he’s not about to inflict his presence on someone who needs some time alone.

Finally, Wild turns to look at him.  “No, stay,” she says, and even she looks surprised at how firmly she says it.  She pats the stone next to her.  “C’mon, sit with me for a while.”

It’s nice and quiet in the spot Wild’s chosen.  He sits with his back to her, not wanting to crowd.  Faintly, the tittering of birds sweeten the air, and if he closes his eyes and focuses he can smell the rich petrichor lingering from yesterday’s early evening rain.  Wild goes back to picking out earrings, the faint chime of her slate’s magic rhythmic in its repetition.

It��s like this often, Legend finds.  They’re both pretty silent people on their own, and perhaps not as close as they are with some of the others.  Sure, they jibe and bicker, but to avoid too much tension they end up not seeking each other out.  Legend isn’t even sure if he wants to be close to Wild anyway; she’s almost guaranteed to die violently young and violently so, given her track record of scars and reckless combat techniques.

Still, his treacherous heart cares, and he heaves a sigh as he thinks of her recent melancholy.  A conversation wouldn’t hurt, right?

“You’ve been wearing a lot of stud earrings lately,” he says.  He doesn’t turn to look, but the chiming stops.  “Maybe one of those dangling ones?  The amber gems give a nice glow to you.”

Quietly, so faint he almost misses it, Wild replies back, “...Maybe.”  He risks a glance to guess her expression; she’s staring distantly at her hands, eyes locked on a struggle Legend can’t see.  “Change things up a little, right?”

He raises an eyebrow, though she doesn’t see it.  “You don’t have to go with my suggestion,” he points out.  “If you want to wear studs, wear studs.  They get tangled up less in the twigs and branches you insist on jumping headfirst into, at any rate.”  

“And if I don’t want to wear any at all?”

What an odd question.  Legend fully turns around to squint at her.  “Then don’t?  What, am I missing some watchmen that will arrest you if you don’t put some metal in your ears?”

Wild huffs a laugh at that, but it’s half hearted.  “No, I don’t think so.  Don’t mind me, I’m just overthinking things.”

“Overthinking… types of earrings?”  He doesn’t mean to sound so doubtful, but Wild is both a ridiculous fashionista and someone who could not care less for her appearance.  She’s got a multitude of outfits, sure, but she’s never exactly cared if they matched or how she looked as a result (leading to a very distressing time where she sprinted through Twilight’s Castletown wearing her Barbarian shorts, clunky torso armor that glowed, and an odd mask that looked like a fish was eating her head.  He’s pretty sure they’re banned from the inn for life).

She shakes her head.  “No, forget it, it’s… related, but it’s not—”  This time, her head shake is harsher, more aggressive.  “It’s got some meaning for me,” she reveals reluctantly under Legend’s interrogating stare.  “What type of earrings I wear, I mean.”

He considers this, lining it up with the past week.  He almost wants to ask “why would you ever wear earrings that make you feel horrible?”, but obviously that isn’t an option.  Choosing wearing a specific type probably isn’t an option she has, either.  Something dictates the type she wears regardless of how she feels, but how could a type of earrings make one feel bad…?

Hylia, this is giving Legend a headache.

“Are the earrings hurting you?” he settles on asking.  There’s no way he’s getting the full story out of her anytime soon, but the important answers need to be established first.

“Wh—?  No, they’re fine.”

“Do they upset you?  Is that why you’ve been weird this past week?”

“... it’s not the earrings, not really.  Kind of?  It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it, then.”

He gets a jab to the side for that.  “I don’t know how to,” she admits, bitterness sharpening her tongue.  “I’m working on it, okay?  I’m… I’ll be fine, just give me some time to figure it out.”

Legend jabs her right back, tickling her sides for good measure and ignoring her squeak.  “Well, figure it out faster,” he says drolly.  “Whatever it is you’ve got going in your head can’t be that bad, considering it’s mostly empty in the first place.”

Now that earns him a tackle right off the rock, and they tussle around like children for a few minutes before wordlessly agreeing to stop, flopping onto the grass to stare at the brightening sky.  Neither of them are breathing very hard, but Legend thinks he can hear Wild’s become lighter, less burdened.  He bites his tongue to focus his thoughts.  

“Just wear whatever you feel like wearing, you menace.  If it’s not the earrings making you feel bad, then deal with whatever is making you act like a kicked puppy.”  He kicks out blindly and catches her ankle.  “If it’s one of us, or something we’re doing, or, I don’t know, maybe you’re just allergic to the grass here, tell us.  If it’s something from your past, then however you deal with it is up to you, but between the nine of us we’ve got all sorts of trauma covered, it’ll be easy to commiserate with someone.”

He rolls over to speak and finds her already looking at him.  “Uncomplicate it.  Whatever it is, either you’ll get past this or you won’t, but things will only get worse if you let it stagnate.”

Wild breaks eye contact first, sitting up but gaze fixed low.  At this angle, he can’t see her face.  “Get it over with, basically.  I guess that’s good advice.”

The sky looks bright enough that the others are probably awake by now.  “Of course it is,” he says.  She’s not going to take it, at least not right now, he can tell.  “Decide on the earrings yet?”

Clacks of fingernail against glass.  The now-familiar chime of the Sheikah slate.  “Studs again today.”

“Amber?”

“Amber, yeah.  You made a good point.”

“I always make good points.”

A snort, and they fall back into silence.  It feels like a moment in eternity before Wild speaks up again.  “We should make it back to camp.”  She sounds almost regretful, and Legend feels it too.  The area is warm and peaceful, and it feels like a crime to have to spend the entire day trekking their way through an adventure no one signed up for.  

Neither of them move.  He closes his eyes, feeling the morning sun warm his skin.

“Legend?”

It takes a moment to respond, the siren call of sleep beginning to pull at his senses.  “Hm?”

“Thank you.”

He hums, not resisting the lull of the little bubble they’re in.  “No problem.”

#linkeduniverse #botw #fic #lu wild #lu warriors #lu legend #lu twilight #theyre all there but im pretty sure those're the big ones #man i feel like a (fic) #did i forget to post this on tumblr! maybe. who knows. haha...ha........ #yeah i forgot #cw misgendering #i dont think i should uhhh @ the prompt tumblr so i guess. uh. hope theyll just find this on their own #i Will edit ch1 to include the link to this tho #<:3c enjoy!!!! hopefully

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

When Did You Fall Out Of Love?

It was crowded.

The train was crowded and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. People coming from different places and going to different directions. The continuous stops that make the small train seem less crowded, until more people get on and it’s the same as before or maybe even more.

Regardless, I couldn’t breathe.

As more people went and go, I felt a presence staring at me. And that presence was right across from me.

He was wearing sunglasses, even though it was gloomy outside in this London weather, and a baker boy hat, that I have to admit, looks adorable. Perhaps I shall get one myself.

I’m not a shy person. Some may say I’m overly confident, but I don’t agree. I am confident, but I’m not stuck up or in love with myself. I’ve learned to accept my flaws and accept that I can’t change them. I’ve learned to love those flaws and realize that it’s a part of me that will never change. And that’s what makes me, me.

I don’t avoid confrontation. I know how to not make things awkward when confronting someone, and I make sure to have my facts right. Without confrontation, people don’t solve problems. It’s all part of life and I love solving problems. Some people find me rude for some reason.

So, I say something to the man who’s staring at me creepily.

“May I ask what caught your attention that has you staring at me like crazy?” I ask firmly.

The man seems shocked that I actually said something. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, so he closes it.

“I-I’m sorry. It’s just that, uhm,” he stutters, and I raise my eyebrows for him to continue. He takes off his sunglasses, “it’s just that I think you’re very pretty.”

Scratch that. I’m shy when it comes from gorgeous men that compliment me.

“O-oh, thank you,” I blush. He smiles and nods.

The rest of the train ride was getting to know each other. Luckily I couldn’t stop the conversation in the middle since my stop was practically the last stop of the day.

I’ve come to find out that the man staring at me is named Harry Edward Styles. He’s from Holmes Chapel in Cheshire (which isn’t that far from where I’m from, Doncaster).

“My best mate is from Doncaster!” He said excitedly.

“Really? What’s his name? I might know him.”

“Louis Tomlinson.”

“Hmm. Doesn’t ring a bell.”

His eyes widen a bit and I found that weird.

He also used to work in a bakery before his job right now.

“So you know how to bake?” I question.

“I can make a thing or two,” he smugs.

“Interesting. Might have to take you up on that.”

His mum is named Anne and his sister is named Gemma.

“Yeah, they’re the best. I grew up with just them two around and they’re the best influence I could possibly have in my life.”

His eyes light up as he talks about the most important women in his life. It’s admirable, the way he talks about them.

He was in a band in high school.

“The White Eskimos?”

“That’s the one.”

“Might have to listen to your tape.”

“I’ll be sure to send one out to you.”

I learned that he also moved to London when he was sixteen because of his job.

“What kind of job are you doing that even made you move to London at sixteen?!” I was completely shocked, there was no way my mother would let me move out that young.

Harry chuckled, “well, I sing and perform.” I felt like there was more to it so I stayed silent, hopefully encouraging him to say more. But it seemed like he was waiting for me to say something. “I-I’m in a band, we’re called One Direction.”

Harry seemed like he was completely shocked that I didn’t know who he was or who they were.

“Wow, that must be crazy. Do you perform at little venues? Or bars? I would love to go to one.”

He chuckles nervously, “erm, not really. I wouldn’t say little venues per say. Perhaps bigger places.”

“I’m sorry, but I probably seem so stupid right now as I don’t know who you are. But how big are we talking about?”

He cleared his throat, he seemed nervous.

“Wembley Stadium, a couple times.”

I almost choked, “are you fucking joking?” He shakes his head. “That’s insane!

You must be a pretty big person then!”

He smiles a little, “to each their own.”

“I’d have a listen when I get home because that’s just-“

“This is the last stop of the day, please exit the train and have a lovely day.” The overhead intercom through the speaker is loud and that means that our conversation was over.

We both exit the train quietly and make it out of the tunnel and onto the street.

“Well, I’m this way.” I point behind me.

“I’m this way,” he points behind him, the opposite way of me.

“It was really great talking to you, Harry.” I give him a small smile.

“You as well, love,” he smiles back.

I’m not sure what to do. Do I just walk away now? Say goodbye one more time? I step forward and open my arms, reaching in for a hug. Harry seemed to get the memo and quickly leans in, reciprocating the hug.

The hug was everything I wanted. He’s a very good hugger. Just enough squeeze and not lazy. He runs his hand up and down my back, and I feel like my knees can lock in and I can just melt. There’s nothing else that can top this hug, and I hope he feels the same way.

We eventually let go and pull away, sadly.

“I hope to see you very soon,” he says.

“I hope so too.”

He gives me one last smile and starts backing up and turning around to walk away. I do the same and walk home to my flat.

You think back to the memory that happened nearly four years ago. You smile back to when you and Harry first met and the memory will forever be burned into your head, as it was one of the best days of your life.

After that day, it was four months before you saw each other again. He saw you at a record store and he completely stood still, shocked to see you after what seemed like an eternity.

Again, you felt a presence staring at you, so you turned your head and saw him. It was him. The same guy who was looking at you four months ago and the same guy who was still looking at you four months later.

You slowly walk over to him and he meets you in the middle.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

You’re smiling like crazy, thinking that you weren’t going to see him ever again, but here you are.

“I have to admit, the week after I met you, I went back to the train station, got on at the same station that I did, and waited for you to show up until the very last stop, but you didn’t show.”

Your heart was bursting, to say the least.

“I actually went back to Doncaster for around three months after that day. I decided I needed to see family and friends, so I stayed there and just kind of took that time to reflect.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad you’re back now.”

“I’m back,” you smile at him.

Its been hard. Its been hard waking up every morning to an empty bed. Every morning seemed to get harder and harder. You miss the conversations you had together. The conversations that’ll keep you both up at night and wake you both up first thing in the morning. The mornings that distracted you both from doing stuff outside the bedroom. Those were you favorite mornings.

Now, you just wake up to an empty bed, and it seemed like the bed is getting bigger and bigger, making it seem like your loneliness is expanding. But you won’t tell him that.

You were confident. Until a year ago. Harry’s schedule got busier and more hectic. With filming and promo for Dunkirk, his first solo album, and touring, his life kept going up and his dreams started to come true. But yours seemed like it was falling apart.

You wanted him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay. Because when he would say it, everything would actually be fine and things would work out perfectly. But he’s barely home for him to hold you and kiss you.

Every time you talked to him on the phone, you wanted to tell him everything that’s been going on in your mind. Everything that you bottled up, you wanted to unleash it. But you couldn’t. You didn’t want him worrying about you. He’s getting everything he wanted in his life, and you felt as if your problems would ruin his mood. Because all you want is for him to continuously be happy with that gorgeous smile on his face.

You struggled with your emotions and you were never like this before. Your mind is like a bottle. Each thought is so trapped inside that you feel as if your mind is about to combust because of the pressure. You want to talk…but you can’t.

It’s been hard.

Harry is suppose to be home for a bit, so he said on the phone. He has a week off before he flies to the U.S, so he should be home by the afternoon. You’re excited to see him. A bit nervous, but more excited. You talk to him on the phone about twice a week for about thirty minutes or an hour or until he has to hang up. But it’s usually never more than an hour. He’ll send some texts here and there throughout the week, but it’s the basic ‘goodmorning’, ‘goodnight’, or ‘what are you up to?’ and you feel like he’s doing it for the sake of conversation and the fact that it doesn’t make him seem like a bad boyfriend.

Yes, you feel him being distant towards you and you want to figure out why. You haven’t asked him because you’re nervous to, but it may be the fact that he’s touring (obviously, with time zones, it fucks everything up) and he genuinely doesn’t have time to talk. And you get it, he’s tired after the shows or he’d rather celebrate another successful show in a foreign city. But a call more than thirty minutes would be great.

You decide to clean the whole house, light up a candle, and cook a full meal for when he comes home.

You have music on as you sauté up a stir fry, one of Harry’s favorites. You sway your hips a little as your stir up the food vegetables that are sizzling on the stove, until you hear your phone buzz a bunch of times.

You see that it’s from your friend, attached with the massages are screenshots from various articles.

Have you seen these? Isn’t he suppose to be home today? Attachment: 2 images

You feel your heart already dropping as your hands shake to click on the article. Harry Styles out and about in London with stunning actress and looking good doing it! Singer and actor took some time off to go home before he starts the American leg of his 2018 World Tour. Harry was seen with actress getting lunch at Nando’s. Sources have said that Harry and recent girlfriend have split up since she was no where to be seen during his tour. Stick around for more updates to come!

Below the article were pictures of Harry and some beautiful woman at the restaurant. His arms on the table as he watches and listens to her talk. His smile all the way up to his ears and you can’t help but admire his million dollar smile.

But it hurt. It definitely killed you.

You haven’t seen him smile like that in what seems like forever. His calls and text don’t seem enthusiastic or excited to talk to you. And that hurt. Some other woman made him smile like that. She gets to see him smile for her like that. And that hurt.

And you decided not to go on tour with him because of school. You’re getting your masters degree in literature and that contained many essays and reading. You couldn’t drop everything you achieved to watch him on stage, no matter how many times you considered doing so. But he understood, he encouraged you to finish all the way through and you appreciated his understanding.

You feel a few tears stream down your face and you lift your hand up to wipe them. You put your phone down and turn off the stove. You put the food in a container and clean up. You couldn’t think about this anymore.

Harry was the one who said himself to not believe any of the articles that were written about him. And you didn’t. You didn’t believe them for four years and that saved the trouble and energy of arguing. Each article that was written about him with women, you didn’t believe any of them. You didn’t jump into conclusions and you didn’t make a fuss about them, because you trusted him. You trust him so much that no matter how much the pictures and words that correlated to Harry and a new girl hurts you, you didn’t make a big deal out of it. He was the first to say that you shouldn’t trust the media. So you didn’t.

But it still hurts.

A lot.

At 2 o’clock, you decide to pick up your phone and text him.

Hi, what time are you coming home?

You put your phone down and wait for it to buzz. So you decide to pull out your laptop and textbooks. Might as well study while waiting for him. A few hours passed and he still hasn’t shown up. You pick up your phone and check the times of the messages you sent.

Me: Hi, know what time you’ll be home? 3:05 p.m

Me: Are you on your way home? 4:00 p.m

Me: I made dinner, hope you haven’t eaten yet.          6:00 p.m

Me: Are you coming home?                                              7:00 p.m

Me: I’m heading to bed, wake me up when you come home. Would love to see you  11:00 p.m          

You were tired. You waited eight hours for him to come home and the studying definitely put your mind to ease.

You lay in your extremely large bed, tossing and turning. You glance at the clock and see the red numbers reading that it’s 2:23 a.m and there was no sign of Harry next to you. You sigh, until you hear the front door open. Your heart beating fast as you think it may be an intruder, but you hear Harry’s boots click against the flooring.

You decide if you should run out downstairs to see him, but you hear him walking up already and opening the bedroom door. You stay in your position: on your side with the covers up to your neck. Harry can’t see that you’re still awake. You don’t know why you aren’t moving to get up and attack him with kisses, perhaps your nervous for some reason.

Harry makes his way into the bathroom and you decide to sit up and wait for him.

You contemplate what to say to him. You’re not sure why it’s different this time round, but obviously something has changed, way before the recent article that was released.

Once the bathroom door swings open, Harry was about to walk out, but stop immediately, surprised you’re awake.

“Oh, why are you up?”

‘Hi, I missed you’, to you too.

“You told me you were coming home today. I texted you,” you said softly.

“Yeah, I was suppose to, but some of the lads wanted to go out for drinks and my phone was off,” he says as he goes into the walk in closet.

“The lads as in?”

“Lads from the band and tour crew.” You’re completely shocked.

“Harry, I haven’t seen you in at least three months and you see them every single day. Why do you need to hang out with them even more when you said you would be home?”

“Because I fucking wanted to? They’re my friends and I wanted to go out for a drink with them.”

“Yeah, but the purpose of taking a week off was to be at home and not think about anything else.”

“Would you back the fuck off? If I want to go out, then I’ll go out. I don’t need you to tell me what to do,” he rolls his eyes.

“I’m not telling you what to do. I’m just trying to understand your logic.” He doesn’t say anything, but scoff. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as he gets in the covers on the bed. He laid on his side, his back facing me.

“I-I just missed you, is all.” You didn’t hear him say anything, but sigh deeply.

“Missed you too,” he mumbled into the pillow. You took a deep breath and laid back down.

“I love you,” you said softly, but you know he heard you loud and clear. But he doesn’t say anything back and your heart starts to break.

You’re waken by your right arm cramping up from laying on it the entire night. You glance at the clock, reading that it’s 7:00 a.m. You’re also waken by Harry rummaging through his things.

“Harry? What are you doing? Get back in bed,” you said tiredly as you prop your elbow to lean on it.

He ignores you and continues going inside the closet and back out. You adjust your eyes and sit up fully, seeing that he’s packing. Not unpacking, but packing. He’s putting more clothes in his suitcase, if not all. And that’s what fully awakes you. It’s like all the tiredness from the previous night and early morning vanished.

“W-Why are you packing? What are you doing?” You’re panicking as he doesn’t say anything to you. You get out of bed and look inside the closet, most of his clothes are off the hangers and in the suitcase.

“W-Wait, stop. Just stop. Hold on. Why are you packing?” He hears the shakiness in your voice and he feels bad, so he stops for a second to turn around and look at you.

Your eyes are glossy, “what’s going on?”

He sighs deeply before he says, “I’m leaving.”

“What? Why? Where are you going? You have a whole week!” You feel tears at the corner of your eye, threatening to fall down.

“I just need to get out of here. I can’t stay here any longer.”

“But you just got home! Why are you leaving already?!” Tears are now streaming down your face and there’s no way that you can stop it.

“I told you I can’t stay here any longer,” he repeats.

“Is it me? That’s why you’re leaving? I didn’t mean to nag when you got home, I just missed you so much,” you approach him, putting your hands on his shoulders.

“Please, why are you leaving me?” Harry isn’t looking at you. He looks straight ahead as you put your hands on his cheeks, trying to pull them down so he can look at you and you could kiss him, but he wouldn’t bug.

He’s about to say something, but his ringtone is loud on his dresser. He makes a move to get it, but you beat him to it. You don’t want to and you never were one of those girlfriends who looked at their boyfriend’s phone, but you couldn’t help it. The caller id was a woman’s name. One that you recognized from one of the articles.

He watches you as you glance down and looks up at him with sad eyes. “Here,” you say as you hand his phone to him.

You watch him as he looks down at it, realizing who’s calling, and answers it, “hello? Yeah… I know… I’m almost done… just-just wait for me. Bye.” ‘So he is leaving me.’ You think.

You don’t say anything as he hangs up and just looks at you. You can tell he wants you to say something, but what’s there to say?

“I gotta go.”

“So I heard.”

“Look-“

“Are you cheating on me?” You had to ask.

“What?” He questions, not sure if he heard you right.

“You heard me.”

“I-I can’t believe you would think that I would cheat on you,” he says, “but if you need to know, no, I did not cheat on you and I never had.”

You don’t say anything as you watch him zip up his suitcase. He heads for the door before he turns arounds to get a look at you.

“Tell me when,” you say.

“What?” He furrows his eyebrows.

“Tell me, when did you fall out of love with me?” Your eyes are practically a waterfall.

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t say when or how or why. He doesn’t even say that he never fell out of love. He just stayed quiet.

“You know, it hurts. Yeah, cheating is horrible and wrong, but knowing that you fell out of love with me and I couldn’t do anything about it? That hurts. A lot. And the fact you’re not even denying it, hurts even more.” You pause. “And if you walk out that door, we’re done.”

He still stays silent as he looks down with guilt. You both hear a honk outside of the door that he is about to walk through. He is about to leave the one place that made you feel safe when he was with you. And he is about to walk out of your life.

The day you met him, you couldn’t breathe. There were so many people on that train, stepping in and out. And you couldn’t breathe. It was crowded. It was so crowded you thought about walking home from five stops away, but you didn’t. You didn’t and it was possibly the best decision you made because you met Harry. And once you started taking to him, it was like the world around you disappeared, and you slowly caught your breath. Being with him for four years, you felt like you were in the wilderness that had crisp air. The one that was so fresh and satisfying.

But now you couldn’t breath again.

You walk towards the stairs, not bearing to see him step on your heart and leave it hopelessly.

“Goodbye, Harry.”

Part two

let me know if you want a part 2 and if you want to be tagged!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #angst #romance #older writings