#and I’m already dealing with the giant fucking mess/fuck up I am. not to mention I’ve had to play therapist for YEARS ( mainly if not ONLY

[venting-town]

Regardless of what others say: I’m the biggest fucking burden on my family + everyone close to me ( or that were close to me )

#vent #tw vent #7/4/22 #my mom has recently begun asking me how I’ve been the past few days #I don’t like answering because I feel the exact same way that I’ve been feeling for years ( of course sometimes the days are worse or better #but for the most part they’ve been the same ) #I’m not trying to sound/be ungrateful but I don’t want her to ask that to me #ESPECIALLY not everyday. I’m tired of answering back the same ‘ I’m okay ‘ or that ‘ I’m good ‘ everytime she #or for ANYBODY to ask that really #I’m tired of having to constantly lie about how I’m feeling JUST SO I won’t make others upset #I mean what? do you REALLY want to hear about my constant shit feelings/existential crisis’s/fucked up thoughts/etc??? #I can PROMISE you that you really truly don’t. especially since I have them EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY #and tbh I wouldn’t want to either. and I DONT. #I mean I want other people ( if THEY want to ) to talk about their thoughts/feelings/etc. but please: don’t come to me about it #and I mean that in the kindest way that I can because I’m just so fucking tired of all this stupid shit #existenting/spiritual stuff ( since mortal bad shit isn’t enough. there’s probably shit ASIDE FROM mortal/spiritual )evil/bad in general/etc #*existing #and I’m already dealing with the giant fucking mess/fuck up I am. not to mention I’ve had to play therapist for YEARS ( mainly if not ONLY #for my bio dad ) #but still. I want people to get help but I’m not ready/prepared to give it myself #tw existential angst #tw existential dread #tw existential bullshit

[delimeful]

(dont) take this the wrong way (5)

warnings: injury, blood mentions, past psychological&emotional&physical abuse, ptsd, sickness

-

Virgil woke up, which was only unsurprising for the few moments it took him to 1. realize that his head was pounding and 2. remember the two very large reasons why.

His eyes flew open, and he found himself half-submerged in a shallow pool of cool water, surrounded by flat ledges of dry rock. The sound of ocean waves lapping against the cliffside echoed around the cavern, which was dimly lit by overhead cracks in the ceiling.

In one of these beams of paltry light, Logan was slumped over on his side, glasses askew. Virgil’s relief at seeing him was instantly overshadowed by terror at what could have happened to the human after Virgil had gone and gotten his skull knocked against rock.

His headache worsened, and he lifted a hand to press against the sore spot, pausing when he found more of those stiff bandage strips wrapped around his head.

The soft sloshing of water seemed to be enough to startle Logan into wakefulness, and the human brightened slightly at the sight of him. “Virgil. It’s good to see you awake. Are you feeling any pain or nausea?”

“What happened?” Virgil replied in lieu of the real answer, which was ‘everything hurts’. “Where are we, I thought we were dead for sure—!”

“Take a few deep breaths,” Logan advised, shuffling closer to the pool and offering a hand. Virgil took it gratefully. “We’re not currently in any danger. I believe we’re at the home of the seal-hybrid mer, if—“

“We’re what?!” Virgil’s voice dropped to a horrified double pitch, his grip on Logan’s hand instantly turning crushing.

“Ow,” Logan said in a pointed monotone. Virgil eased up before his claws could turn the human’s palm into bloody ribbons. “Let me finish, please. I’ve managed to work out a rudimentary method of communication, and as far as I know, we’re not currently at risk.”

“From the giant mer-eating monsters that literally kidnapped us, you mean?”

“Yes, that was the potential risk I was referring to.” Logan pulled Virgil further upright, reaching out with his free hand. “More importantly, you’ve been out for some time. Will you allow me to take a look at your injury?”

Virgil shuffled a little closer, allowing the hand to make contact with him. He had traversed currents of all temperatures, but in chilled still waters like this, Logan’s warmth was more than welcome. “I dunno how that’s more important than our inevitable, rapidly-approaching deaths, but sure, fine. Knock yourself out.”

“I will not? You are already dealing with a likely concussion, I see no reason to double that number.” Logan squinted at him like he was concerned that the head wound had taken a worse toll than he’d thought.

“No, it’s-- it’s just an expression. Don’t actually pass out, or I’ll freak out.”

“Ah,” Logan acknowledged, his hand twitching like he wanted to grab something before returning to carefully peeling the bandages away. “My apologies. Colloquialisms are not my strong suit.”

Virgil blinked back at him, because five syllable words were a little much even when he wasn’t concussed. “No worries?”

Logan continued to gently probe the back of his head. A sharp pang made him jerk away with a muted hiss, his vision blurring with pain as the sharp motion only agitated all his other cuts. He waved off Logan’s apology before it was fully formed. “S’fine. What’s the damage?”

“The bleeding has stopped, which is a good sign. It’s swelled significantly, but the cool water is hopefully helping reduce that as well. The best course of action now is for you to rest and recover in a dark, quiet place, ideally for at least two full days.”

“Yeah, but that’s not happening unless we get away first,” Virgil shot back, irritably twitching his fins down as Logan rewrapped the injury. The human let out a slow breath.

“Virgil. I believe the situation isn’t as dire as you think.” He settled back on his heels, back stiff as he spoke. “Our captors have shown no signs of aggression or hunger, even with the significant bleeding from your head wound. It’s possible--”

“It’s not possible!” Virgil cut him off, scowling fiercely. “That doesn’t mean anything. They’re playing some kind of sick game the way they always do, and if you let them trick you, you’re going to lose!”

Logan looked back at him inquisitively, still not getting it. “What evidence are you basing this off of? I was under the impression that you’ve spent only marginally more time in their company than me. Have they attempted to trick you in the past?”

“Yes, no, I mean--,” Virgil groaned, pulling at his bangs. “They don’t have to say it. That’s just how giants like them operate. We’re smaller, they can do what they want to us, we don’t get a say in it. You escape or you die.”

“Yet, we’ve been in their admittedly less-than-ideal care for over 24 hours, and they haven’t hurt us or made any indications they intend to hurt us.” Logan gestured expansively, his hand a bit wobbly. “That’s a rather long time to pretend, and for what purpose? If it was what they desired, we have been easy targets for a meal from the moment they relocated us.”

A rather long time to pretend. Virgil swallowed down a hysterical laugh, feeling dizzy. If a day of false niceties was all it took to buy his trust, he’d have never gotten away from his first encounter with a giant mer. “You’re— you’re human. You don’t know anything about this.”

Logan frowned. “I may be human, but that does not make me an idiot. Even with a language barrier, body language and expression are invaluable tools for communication, and I’ve been doing very little but observe them while you were unconscious. Virgil, if you just tried talking to them—“

“No!” he snapped, curling in even as his fins flared wide and threatening. He wouldn’t do this again, wouldn’t be subjected to the world’s most torturous game of catch and release, wouldn’t be lured back into too-tight hands by false promises and meaningless apologies. He couldn’t do that again.

Measured, rhythmic tapping on the back of his hand slowly brought him back to the present, cool air and Logan’s steady voice by his side. His throat was closed-up-too-tight, his gills too far out of the water to switch lungs— but the rhythm was counted out over and over, breathe in, hold, and out.

“There you go,” Logan said as Virgil took in another long, shuddering drag of air. “Well done.”

The air smelled like iron. He realized that somewhere in the past few minutes, he’d dug his claws into the soft sides of the human’s hand, drawing blood. He pulled away as though he’d been burned.

Logan didn’t even twitch, still searching his gaze intently. “Are you with me?”

Virgil nodded stiffly. “Yeah, I— fuck, I’m sorry.”

“No, I shouldn’t have pushed you. I didn’t realize— but I should have.” A deep, resolved breath. “It’s okay. I’ll find you a way out that doesn’t involve interacting with them.” Logan’s gaze went distant and hazy with thought, and Virgil hesitantly drew closer, pulling a bandage free to wrap around his bleeding hand.

… He was really warm. Clammy, too, and he’d been sitting in a cold, wet cave for hours, hadn’t he? Had been completely drenched for even longer.

“You’re sick,” Virgil said, and Logan took a moment too long to refocus on him. How had it taken him so long to notice? “That’s why you need me to talk to them. You need to get home.”

“My illness is no more severe than your injuries,” he deflected, adjusting his glasses clumsily. “Right now, the priority is getting you away from triggering circumstances. If my suspicions are correct, I will be fine regardless.”

Right. His suspicions, based on his willingness to trust his own abductors. He’d trusted Virgil, too, back in those tunnels. He’d known that he might be abandoned and he’d freed Virgil anyways, taken his hand anyways. Gotten hurt for his trouble.

He’d get hurt worse if Virgil left him here.

“... Yeah,” Virgil said, tucking the edge of the bandage in carefully. “But you should sleep for now. We both should. You said they haven’t done anything yet, right?”

“Yes, but…,” Logan’s brow was furrowed slightly, as though he knew something was off, but wasn’t quite sure what. “I mean, you do need rest. If… If you’re sure.”

“I am,” Virgil replied, curling against the edge of the pool and pillowing his head on his arms to hide their shaking. “Get some sleep, Specs.”

—

It was early morning when Patton woke to the splash of something small dropping into the water from his air room.

The room wasn’t overly large, being designed only for occasional use when he needed some extra oxygen in his system. It was also quite a few caves up above his sleeping den, but with two delicate little guests staying over, his senses were on high alert. He disentangled from Roman, who had been clinging to him for extra warmth, waking the shark mer in the process.

“Mwha’huh?” he asked groggily, and Patton chuckled at the way one side of his hair had been pressed into a tangled bundle.

“I think they may be awake!” he reported quietly, and Roman perked right up. They had originally hovered in the room over the two of them, only leaving after the human-- busy tending to the tiny mer’s wounds-- had gotten too fed up and used charades to shoo them away, leaving them with nothing to do but sit around and think about how badly they’d messed up. As such, they were both more than eager to start fixing things.

Upon popping up into the air room, however, they found only the human, lying completely still apart from the slow rise and fall of his chest. Deep in sleep, with an empty pool at his side.

Roman and Patton exchanged a panicked look, and ducked back underwater to search through his home and see where, exactly, the injured mer had gone.

It didn’t take long to spot him. The mer had practically every fin and frill puffed out, even the ones that were still injured. The threat display as eye-catching as they got.

He was hovering in the opening of a vent crevice, one that helped circulate seawater through the caves. It was small enough that if he vanished through it, they wouldn’t be able to stop him or see where he was headed. He knew it, too, staring them down with sharp defiance rather than absolute terror.

“Don’t move,” he said, as though they hadn’t both frozen at the sight of him. “I’m going to-- to make a deal with you.”

“A deal?” Roman asked, and received a sharp, wild-eyed glare for his troubles.

“Yeah, a deal. The other one is sick,” a slight jerk of the head toward the air room, “so he won’t last long here. Probably already too far gone to even play a single game.”

Patton was torn between concern (the human was sick?) and confusion. Game?

“But I’m fine. I’ve had much worse than this.” The mer drifted back slightly, closer to the crevice. “If I leave now, you’ll never find me, and then Lo-- the human will die, and you won’t have anything to play with.”

A creeping sense of dread overcame Patton. He still didn’t know what was going on, but it was sounding more and more like something was seriously wrong here.

“So, a deal. You take the human back to where you found him, and I’ll stay-- I’ll stay here,” his voice cracked painfully, but he ignored it, staring at them with a desperate sort of intensity. “With you. I won’t try to get away or anything. I-- I swear.”

“Get away?” Roman asked, his voice going high with the same sort of horror that currently swamping Patton. The mer ducked back at the sound, gaze flitting between them, some of that terror returning.

“I will! I’ll leave, if you-- you can either have one or none, that’s the deal, I’m not kidding. I’m not!” His fins flared wider, blood beginning to leak from some of them. “He’s human anyways, he can barely even swim, you don’t want him--”

“Kiddo,” Patton cut in urgently, raising his hands peacefully and trying not to wince when the mer flinched, “if he’s sick, of course we’ll take him back to where he can get help. No deals necessary, okay?”

The little guy didn’t look reassured at all. “I want to watch. I have to see you put him back, where other humans will find him, or else the deal’s off.”

He didn't believe them. Patton exchanged a helpless look with Roman, who finally nodded.

“Of course,” the shark mer said, “You are more than welcome to accompany us back to the mainland where Patton found him, provided that you’re not exacerbating your injuries.”

The mer hissed at him, a tiny, reedy sound. “And whose fault is that?”

“Irresponsible human fishing vessels?” Roman tried, and then wilted under both Patton and the mer’s looks when the joke fell flat. He cleared his throat. “It is, of course, mine. I wanted to apologize for the way I manhandled you before. Regardless of my intentions, it was unbefitting behavior, and it hurt you. I am truly sorry.”

He bowed with a little flourish, moving slower than normal. The mer stared at his bowed head apprehensively, and then covered the look up with a distrustful scowl.

“If you’re sorry, get Logan out of this place before he gets any worse,” he finally replied, and Patton nodded and went to retrieve the human-- Logan, presumably.

Glancing over his shoulder as he left, he could see the way the tiny mer’s fins had settled just slightly, not quite as frantically overextended as before.

It was a start.

#sanders sides #ts virgil #ts logan #ts patton #ts roman #mermaid au #my writing #dont take this the wrong way #dtttww #writing #g/t #virgil sweetie what the fuck #- logan next chapter

[fuckinsteverogers]

Behemoth

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: 18++++++ Seriously, come on. You know the deal.

Warnings: Dick pic, nudes, size kink, bucky being a jealous beefcake, sam being low key annoying af, steve mentioned, tony mentioned, fluff at the end.

Synopsis:  You’re on a dry spell and looking for a good fucking from one of the burely members of your team, and when Bucky notices you haven’t considered him, he takes it in his own hands… Literally, in the form of a dick pic.

Author’s Note: Welp, I’ve got a whole list of fics I should be writing, but this was because I saw a photo that a Tumblr I follow reblogged and well... I couldn’t help myself. It’s kind of shite, but oh well. I hope you guys like it.

EDIT: THIS WAS FLAGGED DURING THE TUMBLR APOCALYPSE AND I AM REUPLOADING IT WITHOUT THE PICTURES THAT GOT IT FLAGGED.

INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT BELOW LINE ;)

You and Bucky have been friends from the moment Steve brought him home, but you’d never considered him as an option, even with T’Challa helping in relieving Bucky of Hydra’s hold on him, knowing his trustworthiness.

Even when you went searching for someone to take away the ache between your thighs, you never looked at Bucky and seriously considered him as someone who could take away every ache, stop your thighs from rubbing to relieve the pressure, stop your fingers from finding your soaking centre and ridding yourself of the uncontrollable arousal.

Bucky noticed your wayward eyes, scrapping across Sam and Steve, even Tony, but never him; not that you noticed him noticing you. The plan was to show you what you’re missing with not considering him, to show you what you’d miss with Sam and Tony, to show you that he can fulfil your primal needs unlike Steve who would only want to ‘treat you right’. Bucky could surely treat you right, but he isn’t going to do that in the way Steve would; cooing over how gorgeous you are, which you fucking are, or holding you tight against him while he fucks you slowly, softly, romantically.

Bucky wants to hold you tight against him, sure, but he wants to fuck you with reckless abandon, give you what you so desperately need... A good, hard fuck.

So, when Bucky noticed Sam’s hand graze to wrap tightly around your upper thigh, sending your body into shivers, he knew he had to work quickly before Sam actually got the balls to do something other than simply touch you and grin about it.

Moving from his seat on the stool, he dismissed himself to his bedroom, keeping the door open until he noticed you walk past towards your bedroom... Alone.

Grinning at Sam’s pussy attempt at flirting, he thinks; what will do the photo justice? What will make her come running to me the moment I send it through?

His eyes flicker up, closing in around the empty bottle of wine that Natasha had left in his room the last time they watched a movie together; clearly not his because it’s a waste of time drinking the shit when it doesn’t do anything to him.

He moves across his room, buzzing with anticipation, the blood from his face travelling down to his crotch, hardening the behemoth to full length. Bucky grins to himself as he shuts his door, pushes his pants to the floor, kicking them off and holds the wine bottle against his erect, throbbing cock.

The contrast is incredible, just how fucking big he is. He wasn’t small before the serum, but now, he was a fucking giant; he thinks that to fit inside your small body he might have to use an entire bottle of lube and loosen you with his tongue first.

Without regret, he takes the photo, snapping it with his free hand, and throws the wine bottle onto a pile of clothing. He attaches the photo into a text message addressed to you, he thinks a moment and then types out the message. His cock throbbing at the thought of being inside you soon, feeling your warm, throbbing wetness, feeling the ridges grind against his steel-like cock.

Your phone buzzes across the room from your position on your bed, your fingers buried inside yourself, moans drawn from your mouth as you try and satiate the desire in your belly.

You’d been ready to fuck Sam the moment he touched you, but he wanted to play hard to get and you weren’t willing to wait, convincing yourself you’ll make yourself cum and then go find your Captain and beg him, even get on your knees if you have to, which surely would make any man’s blood start pumping to his nethers.

The thought makes you giggle as you stand up, your fingers slipping out from inside you as you pull your hand from your pants. You tap the screen of your phone and look at the messages someone has sent you.

Buckinator: Sent a Picture.

He always sends you pictures, of landscapes or of the team, or simply a selfie that he likes, so it wasn’t uncharacteristic.

Another message comes through before you have a chance to look at the picture.

Buckinator: Come get me if you want me.

You scroll up after reading the message and click to download the photo, and what graces your eyes all but makes you faint, your knees get weak and your entire body turns to liquid, because holy fucking shit, he is fucking big.

Will he even fit in you? Will it hurt? Of course, it fucking will, but with how your body vibrates with arousal, you don’t fucking care. He could bruise all the skin on your body and you would not fucking care.

There’s no decision-making process, you had been ready to fuck your superior, but this, you hit yourself for never thinking of Bucky; of course, Bucky. How had you never thought of it? The delicious soldier, the beefcake, the man that could lift you up and down his gigantic cock with ease.

You run to your bathroom, wash your hands and don’t bother to change from your simple cotton panties and a big t-shirt, because you doubt they’re going to remain on your body much longer with how fucking hard he is.

You don’t even knock when you get to his room, you enter and throw yourself at him, earning a pleasantly delicious grunt from his lips.

“Doll,” He says, silky smooth.

“Shut up,” You reply, shoving your mouth against his hand wrapping a secure hand around his length, feeling the rock hardness in your palm. “I can’t wait. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.”

You ramble against his lips, lifting your shirt with your free hand, breaking the kiss to toss it across the room, and shove your panties down and do the same.

“So sexy,” He mumbles as you mount him, sitting on his lap, your thighs on either side of his. His hands roam across your hot skin, feeling, caressing, cherishing the short time he has with you.

You groan at the praise, it sending shockwaves through your body, down to your stomach, achieving in producing more lubrication to help take the wine bottle sized cock you were currently hunched over.

“Lube,” You whimper when the tip of his cock brushes across your clit, swollen and aching to be touched. Bucky passes the bottle he had beside him, clearly knowing you’d come running, and usually, you’d never be so blatant, putting yourself completely in the hands of someone else, but not having a cock inside you almost a year has been driving you fucking crazy.

You squeeze practically half the bottle into your hand and lube him up, wiping the excess on a discarded towel and shift until you feel him scrape against your entrance.

You lift your eyes to look at Bucky’s, losing yourself in the blue, trying to be brave enough to lower yourself.

“Slow, doll. I’ve got you,” He comforts, fitting his flesh arm underneath your ass, supporting your weight which is probably something you won’t be able to do once you feel him enter you.

Nodding, you begin to lower yourself with the help of Bucky’s arm, gripping his shoulders and scrunching your eyebrows up at the stretch.

It doesn’t hurt too bad, just an ache from the large intrusion, but Bucky helps take your mind off of it as his head drops forward, groaning into the valley between your breasts, his hot breath sending shivers down your body as you continue your descent.

“So fucking tight, doll,” Bucky groans, as if you don’t already know, because anyone would be tight around his cock.

You bury a hand in his hair as you feel the tip of his cock hit your cervix; luckily just as you seat yourself onto his lap fully. If this isn’t an indication to you, then you don’t know what is. Though, Bucky vocalises it before you can even start thinking again.

“Made for me, doll. Fuck, sweetheart. I fit perfectly in your tight, little pussy. You were fucking made for me,” He groans deeply from his position between your breasts. His arms wrapping fully around you, the coldness of his metal one incredible against your blazing flesh.

“Help me, Buck,” You reply, squeezing his shoulder. You don’t trust your legs to lift you up and down on him. The ask makes him lift his head, looking into your desperate eyes. He nods shakily, tightening his grip on your small body, lifting you up and down, up and down, until you’re a flurry of tears and screams.

“Holy fucking shit,” You say, throwing your head back as Bucky thrusts up into your bounces, moving in rhythm to send you into a boneless mess.

“Gonna move, doll. Better position,” He says, and the promise is fulfilled the moment he shuffles, still connected to shove you onto your back on the bed, and begins his assault on your body.

Thrusting sharply into you only proves to draw a scream from the back of your throat, your body withering beneath his as he grips your hips in an attempt to keep you still. Your orgasm draws closer the more he thrusts, the harder he smacks into you, the more he groans and spews dirty words.

“I’m so close already, sweetheart. Your pussy is so fucking good,” Bucky is staring down at you with lust blown eyes and you want to feel him cum, you want to cum with him.

You nod, moving to fit your small hand between your connected bodies, and rub against the swollen, abused clit. The pleasure makes you throw your head back and screw your eyes shut, feeling his cock assaulting every inch of your insides and your fingers push against the button that’ll push you over the edge.

“Cum in me, Buck. Please. God, you feel so fucking good,” You ramble, words spewing from your mouth as you get closer and closer to the sweet, sweet release.

“Doll, Jesus. I’m going to cum in you soon. Are you going to cum with me?” Bucky asks. You flicker your eyes open to look at him, a gasp falling from your lips as he wraps his arms underneath your back and lifts you against him in more of a riding position, but you have no control. He’s sitting with his ass against his feet, holding your body securely against him, bouncing you on his cock and thrusting up into your body.

You bury your face in his neck, your fingers still assaulting your clit as the coil in your belly begins to tighten dangerously, and you feel your release move quickly to full-blown euphoria.

“Bucky. Bucky. I’m cumming,” You scream into his skin, your entire body starting to tighten and tense, as the coil snaps and your body begins to clench and unclench around his.

You feel his hands scramble to keep you against him as he slams his hips into yours a final time and bites down onto your shoulder to keep from screaming out his release.

You’re stuck in a world between euphoria and relaxation as your body shakes against him, the aftershocks of your orgasm rattling your body, as you roll your hips down against his cock, drawing it out until the last second, feeling the spurts of his cum release inside of you.

“Fuck,” He says simply. You bury your fingers in his hair as he sits back on his heels and holds you tight against his chest, your legs tangled around his waist.

“Feel free to send more pictures like that,” You say finally, brushing your lips against the skin beneath his ear. He shudders at the words and the action and just secures his arms tighter around your soft body.

“Will it result in this?” He questions, kissing the bite mark he’d left on your shoulder. A warmth fills your stomach at the sweet kiss and you lean back to look at his face.

“Undoubtedly.” And it goes like that, he sends photos at the most inappropriate times, so you sleep with him every day, fucking yourself down on his cock, orgasming and screaming to the high heavens, the team begin to complain about the screaming so Tony gives you and Bucky your own floor.

One day after fucking each other into a state of almost comatose, he asks you if you’d like to see a new movie out. You are shocked, not thinking that was an option. You hit yourself again for not thinking of Bucky as a companion rather than just a fuckable supersoldier.

Two years after your first date, he asks you to marry him. You stare down at the velvet box with his mother’s ring in it, and furrow your brows, never thinking that this was something you wanted, but it’s Bucky and he is everything you’ve ever needed, not only because he satiates your needs, but because he is your need.

You say yes and it’s a flurry of tears and screams from the team. You marry your best friend in the most beautiful white dress and wake up the morning of the first day of your honeymoon in a pair of cotton panties and a big t-shirt, which he rips off of you and fucks you until you scream.

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#avengers fic #avengers #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #avengers smut #filthy smut #bucky barnes smut #winter soldier smut #marvel #fluff #mcu #steve rogers

[ellohcee]

It Seems Fitting

Summary: (get it cause they meet at the fitting rooms)

Well this is something I’ve had sitting around for a while and it was going to accompany a piece for day 7 of Jaspvid week until the other idea hit me. Since I had this mostly fixed up to post by that time I decided to finish up and post it anyway.

- - - -

David hummed softly as he turned back and forth in the mirror, tugging the dress shirt down a little and trying to see how it rested in the back. He liked it, it looked good with the slacks and vest but he would have to get the seal of approval first. He turned around and opened the door to step out of the dressing room stall, looking down at himself as he did so. “Okay, how does this look?”

“Rockin.”

David froze because that was most definitely not Gwen, looking up to see a man standing there with a pair of black pants slung over his arm, paused midway to find an open room. He looked nonplussed, but David immediately flushed red in mortification regardless. “OH, I’m- I’m sorry I was expecting my friend to be out here I’m so sorry-” he stammered.

“Hey hey, it’s chill,” the man said with a grin, making David’s stomach flutter. “But for real though, it’s good on you.”

“You really think?” David asked, his shoulders hunching a little closer to his ears.

“Yeah dude. I mean, I’ve been told my fashion sense is shit so take my word with a grain of salt, but I think you look baller,” he said matter-of-factly. “Classy.”

“Oh. Thank you,” David replied, pleasantly surprised.

“David I found you another tie that’s less stupid looking- oh, hey, friend of yours?” Gwen asked as she walked up, looking between the two curiously.

David stammered for a moment before the stranger cut in, rescuing him. “Impromptu outfit rater. I was just tellin’ your boy here he looks-” he paused to click his tongue, rocking a fist side to side with his thumb and pinky extended. “Awesome.”

David flushed as Gwen let out a bark of laughter, giving him a look that doubled his embarrassment and told him he’d never live this down. “You giant dork, did you just barge out here and ask a stranger?”

“I wasn’t looking and I thought you would be out here like you said!” David protested in mortification, his ears and cheeks red as can be and suddenly feeling too hot under the bright lights of the fitting rooms.

“I’m sorry but I had to get a different tie, that one with the pine trees is so fucking stupid,” she shot back while the stranger watched on, obviously amused by their bickering.  

“But I like it,” David whined in protest.

“Fine, let’s ask your new outfit rater,” Gwen teased as David started to protest, holding two ties up to the man while ignoring David’s hurried attempt at intervention. “Which one do you think would go best?”

“Gwen, come on, leave him alone I’ve already bothered him enough-”

“I like the pine trees,” their new friend replied calmly, smiling at their incredulous looks.

Gwen groaned, her eyes rolling so far skyward and her shoulders dropping in defeat. “God, seriously, you too?” she demanded, giving him a betrayed look despite knowing this man for all of two minutes.

“Yeah man! I’m not a big tie guy, but when I am absolutely forced to wear one, I do like me a good fun pattern,” he said, winking at David. “The trees are cute, and the green matches your eyes.”

David’s face went redder, his heart giving a big uncomfortable thump because excuse me pardon but what did the wink mean??

Meanwhile Gwen made a frustrated noise. “Fine, keep your stupid dorky pine trees,” she grumbled, tossing the tie at David and earning a surprised noise as he fumbled to catch it. He blinked down at the tie before looking up to watch Gwen as she left to put the other one back.

David swallowed, looking back over to his impromptu outfit rater. “Um, s-sorry,” he said, trying to smile.

“No worries dude, it’s all good. I’m Jasper, by the way,” he dropped casually, shoving his free hand in his jeans pocket and resting his weight to one side.

“Oh! Uh, David!” the redhead replied pleasantly, straightening out the tie in his hands before he could wrinkle it. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Jasper grinned, making David’s stomach flip again because gosh what a nice smile he was such a sucker for a nice smile and he was so not prepared to have a conversation with someone so handsome in the dressing room after embarrassing himself like that-

“So Fancy Pants, you guys gettin’ ready for a thing?” Jasper asked, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts.

“Oh, yes, Gwen insisted that I get something new otherwise she won’t be seen with me,” David murmured, embarrassed.

Jasper laughed kindly. “Well I’m sure you two will look great together no matter what.”

David was about to reply, when something hit him and he suddenly furiously did not want Jasper to think the wrong thing even though they’d probably never see each other again but he had to let it be known- “Oh, no we’re not d-dating,” he corrected hastily, making the other man’s eyebrow quirk slightly, that calm smile still on his face. “But we are going together to a friend’s wedding this weekend, since we’re both single.”

Jasper suddenly blinked, losing his amused look. “This weekend? Long shot, humor me here, but it’s not Deena and Sai, is it?”

David’s mouth dropped open just a tiny bit. “Yes, it is. You know them?”

“Yeah dude, I’m goin too!” Jasper said with a grin, holding his arms out a little. “Sai is one of my buds from high school.”

“Gwen and I have worked with Deena for the last two years,” David said in surprise.

“Small world,” Jasper replied, looking amused and a little… delighted? It was an unexpected break from his so-far casual demeanor that threw David a little bit for a loop. “Well then, I’ll let you get back to it. Hope I see you there, Davey,” he said with another wink, making David’s heart to that stupid flip-flop thing again.

Who gave this perfect stranger authority to send him so completely off kilter?

“Y-yes, see you then,” he said, trying to sound like he hadn’t just been run over.

Jasper’s grin stretched a little wider before he headed down the row of dressing rooms, disappearing into one of the doors.

David let out a shaky breath, trying to compose himself just as Gwen appeared at his side again and made him jump. “Are you still standing here? You been talking to your new boyfriend that long? I don’t blame you, he’s hot.”

“Shhhh!” David shushed her frantically, waving a hand in the direction Jasper had gone as his heart raced double overtime now between the interaction and Gwen’s sudden reappearance. “He’s just down that way,” he whispered, still red, still flustered.

“So what? God, what a dork. Are you gonna get that or what?”

“I’m- I was- you-”

“Come on David I don’t want to be here all day, I want to get lunch,” Gwen insisted, crossing her arms impatiently.

David sighed in frustration, retreating back into the changing room to get back into his normal clothes and most definitely not pouting. “You didn’t even tell me if it looks good,” he mumbled petulantly, just loud enough for her to catch.

“You didn’t need my opinion, you seemed to hold his high enough,” Gwen teased calmly from outside the door, making David go red again. Was he that obvious??

“Gwen, please keep your voice down,” he whined, imagining Jasper several doors down probably hearing at least Gwen’s half of the conversation and maybe his whispering and probably deciding that David was in fact a giant mess and now debating whether or not he actually hoped to see them at the wedding-

“Why? What’s the big deal?”

“Because,” David said pertinently as he gathered up the clothes and opened the door, stepping out. “He is going to the same wedding this weekend,” he hissed, his lips pursing in what liked to think was a stern glare but in all actuality looking like a peeved child.

“What! No way!” Gwen exclaimed as the redhead quickly shuffled her out of the fitting rooms.

“Yes, and I’d rather not be a complete mess if we see him and he overheard,” David grumbled softly.

“Why not? He seemed kinda sweet on you and you were a total mess already, like, near disaster levels and he was still cool,” she mused. “You can talk to him again, maybe get his number!”

“I- nonono, I don’t think he- he wasn’t-” David stammered.

“He totally was,” Gwen shot back. “He low-key complimented your eyes and winked at you, he is not straight.”

David took a shaky breath as something hit him. “Twice,” he said softly in realization.

“What?”

“He… winked at me again after you left,” he said, embarrassed. “When he said that he… hoped he’d see us there. And he called me Davey.”

Gwen looked incredulous and maybe on the verge of hitting him or strangling him or both if the mood struck her right. “And you still think he’s not interested?? He thinks you’re cute you idiot!! If you don’t find him at that damn wedding and get his number I will end you! Did you at least get his name?” she asked, her tone clearly pleading work with me here.

“Jasper,” David said, hunching his shoulders a little.

“Well at least you got a foot in the door,” Gwen scoffed, her murder plans paused as she gave him a not-so-gentle but still friendly nudge where he’d slowed a little. “Pay for your shit and let’s go eat, then you can sigh and daydream about his smile and whatever all you want.”

“Gwen,” David whined miserably.

- - - -

Nerves ate him up all week as David found himself simultaneously dreading and anticipating seeing Jasper at the wedding. He had a hard time imagining someone so handsome and easygoing would so easily take a shine to his awkward self when he’d been such a disaster, but Gwen was adamant. That didn’t stop him from dreading making a fool of himself again as he stood there sipping from his water at the reception on Saturday. But also meticulously scanning the crowd looking for Jasper...

So what if he’d mentioned David’s eyes. And complimented his outfit. And looked kind of excited to find out they were going to the same wedding. That didn’t mean anything. Gwen insisted he’d been flirting but no one ever flirted with David how was he supposed to know. There was no way Jasper had been flirting with him. Right?

“You got the threads!”

David whirled around in surprise, his heart racing upon seeing Jasper approaching, looking unlawfully handsome in black slacks and a purple dress shirt. He’d rolled up the sleeves and there was the ends of a black tie with little rainbow polka dots hanging from his pants pocket and now it was going to be ten times harder talking to him. He was toeing the line between causal and formal and it just looked so good on him that it wasn’t fair. “J-Jasper,” he greeted, smiling and trying to control the butterflies in his stomach.

“Hey Davey, you look great, just like I said,” Jasper grinned. “Even better without price tags hanging off ya,” he added playfully.

David just barely stifled his surprised laugh. “Thanks, you- you do too. Purple really suits you,” he said shyly.

Jasper didn’t seem the type for formal clothing, judging by the jeans and well-worn t-shirt he’d been in the other day, but he sure pulled this off nicely. It didn’t even seem out of place that he still wore the few colorful woven bracelets David had spotted in the dressing room. It fit him.

“Thanks dude, I can clean up alright sometimes,” Jasper teased, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Where’s your friend? Gwen, right?”

“Yes, she’s talking with Deena and some of the other ladies.”

“She abandoned you? Weak,” Jasper tsked softly. “I’ll hang with you, if that’s cool?”

“O-of course,” David replied, receiving a grin in response that suddenly rendered him a little bit weak.

They talked for a little while about standard casual things, work, hobbies, interests, the stupid stuff Jasper had done with Sai in high school, and David found himself slowly relaxing as time went on. It was getting easier to talk to Jasper, he was so casual and laid back it was like a vortex of calm that was drawing him in, telling him to stop being such an anxious mess. He would love for that to happen, it would be a lot easier of finding someway to see Jasper again in the future if he weren’t a total anxious mess.

But no matter how nervous he was, he couldn’t help but laugh at the cheesy quips and jokes Jasper made, and the other man seemed a tiny bit delighted at every little laugh and giggle he got in response.

Without realizing it, they’d gotten lost in their own little corner of the reception talking for nearly an hour. When the band started playing again after a break and people headed for the dance floor, Jasper’s eyes fixed in that direction. They’d both gone silent when the music started, Jasper’s keen gaze remaining on the crowd for a few moments before suddenly clicking his tongue as if a decision had been made. “Soooo,” he drawled slowly, casual, glancing over at David. “Yoooouu... wanna dance?” he asked hopefully.

David met his eyes in surprise, a blush burning his cheeks as his mind fought to catch up. “I- y-yes, I’d… love to,” he said softly.

Jasper’s face lit up. “Sweet,” he said happily, holding a hand out.

David took in a quiet, shaky breath before placing his hand in Jasper’s and letting the other man lead him over to the dance floor.

“I’m not like… a super great dancer? So do you wanna lead or should I?” Jasper asked, surprising David because he hadn’t even thought about who would lead.

“Oh, um, either way is fine?”

“Well you’re taller, so I think you should,” Jasper said matter-of-factly, turning to David as they found a spot and bringing the redhead’s hand to his waist without missing a beat. He arranged their hands together on the opposite side before resting his free one on David’s shoulder, giving him a disarming grin.

David flushed at the feel of Jasper’s waist under his palm, swallowing. “Well I don’t think that- has anything to do with it- but- okay,” he stammered, moving to start the dance and placing his feet carefully.

“It’s a way to decide and get us dancing sometime today,” Jasper shot back playfully.

“Fair enough,” David laughed softly, watching their feet for a few moments as they continued to move, slowly getting used to the contact. “You’re not that bad!”

“Gimme time, I’ll fuck it up, don’t worry. And that’s not a threat just a promise,” Jasper replied casually, making David laugh again. “That’ll be the true test, how many times can I step on your feet before you get sick of me,” he teased.

“Well, I have to say your charm far makes up for whatever you may lack in dancing,” David replied.

“You think I’m charming?” Jasper asked, his eyes alight.

“It’s hard not to,” David said, smiling at the adorable and sincere delight on his dance partner’s face.

“I’ve been told goofball, dork, manchild, square, way back when anyone but me still said that, but never has my me-ness been described as charming. It’s pretty cool,” Jasper decided. “You’re pretty cool,” he added, grinning.

“Oh, I am not,” David chastised softly.

“Nah dude, seriously, otherwise I wouldn’t be taggin’ after you like a lost puppy,” he laughed, going a little pink actually. “I’m stoked and amazed I haven’t driven you nuts yet.”

“I don’t mind at all,” David replied, smiling at Jasper’s surprised look. “I um, I really like talking with you,” he added.

“Most excellent,” Jasper said, his grin coming back full force and his cheeks going a little darker. It made David feel better to finally not be the only one who was flustered, even if it was only a little on Jasper’s part.

They continued to talk and dance into the next song, and while they kept a respectful inch between them, it was never tense or uncomfortable. Despite Jasper’s earlier insistence that he wasn’t a good dancer, they flowed well together. No one’s feet ever got stepped on and things got even better when the band switched to something a little more upbeat.

People around them started dancing to match the new mood, and Jasper so smoothly pulled David into a new style of dance he took a few moments to adjust. It was… he didn’t know what it was. He thought maybe Jasper was making it up on the spot but then again it kind of seemed like that’s what most people were doing.

“C’mon Davey, loosen up, this is the part where we just wing it and no one gives a shit if we look like dorks,” Jasper teased, lifting David’s hand up and spinning under it so easily and casually that it pulled a delighted laugh from the redhead before he could stifle it.

“There ya go!” Jasper egged happily, the grin nearly splitting his face, his eyes bright and shining under the lights strung above the dance floor.

David’s face was flushed with delight, his own smile rivaling Jasper’s as they fell into a comfortable rhythm together.

They danced, happily oblivious and lost only in each other for some time. Without even realizing when it had happened, David had grown much more comfortable with Jasper. He was still a bit of a mess and the butterflies would not let up the whole time, but it became much easier to talk and joke with the other man.

He wondered where Gwen went, catching glimpses of her through the crowd sometimes but otherwise it was just them. Eventually they decided to break for some water, leaving the dance floor and heading over to the refreshment table to catch their breath. David felt like he was in a dream the whole time, as Jasper seemed perfectly content to stay with him as they leaned against a low stone wall near the venue’s fountain, talking quietly.

He wasn’t sure when it had gotten dark, but a bit of a chill was definitely setting into the evening air, and it made him very aware of Jasper’s close proximity next to him. He could feel the man’s body heat where their arms were nearly touching, creeping in through the fabric of his dress shirt and making David feel warm, hazy.

During a few moments of comfortable silence, David felt his phone buzz in his pocket and took it out to see a text from Gwen.

Want to wrap up your shit? Go in like 30 min? Tired.

When had it gotten so late? Had it been so easy to just get lost for hours with Jasper?

Sure, he texted back, setting his water down so he could use both hands while Jasper glanced curiously at him. I’ll meet you in front at 10:30?

Better, she responded, and he could hear her grumpy, mostly seriously threat even through text.

He smiled, looking up at Jasper. “That was Gwen, she’s almost ready to go and I’m designated driver. So I’ll be leaving at 10:30,” he explained, half because he felt rude for texting next to Jasper, even though there had been a lull in the conversation, and half in apology to cut short their evening.

“That’s cool,” Jasper replied evenly, not quite hiding a touch of disappointment in his voice. He was graceful about it though. “I’m a night owl but I’m feeling ready to bail too. I’ll hang with you until then?” he asked hopefully.

As if David could possibly turn down even a few more minutes with him. “Of course,” he replied, smiling.

He’d completely forgotten about asking for a phone number and now would’ve been the perfect time, but he just found himself soaking up that last little bit of time together. They talked quietly, worn out from dancing and just the overall noise and energy of the reception. Talking about nothing in particular just to talk, and as much as David loved Jasper’s constant jokes and his fun energy, the low, soft tones of his voice now in the calmer atmosphere was soothing, warm.

A few minutes before he was supposed to meet Gwen, they stood up and started heading for the front, passing through the dwindling reception and into the building where the ceremony had taken place, and finally outside again facing the parking lot. They stopped a short distance away from the doors to be out of the way of people leaving, but still visible to Gwen whenever she arrived.

“Soooo,” Jasper drawled playfully, much like he’d done earlier, scuffing his shoe on the pavement with hands shoved in his pockets, the tie still hanging off to one side.

Even though he’d glanced down when they were dancing, David only just now realized that Jasper was wearing all black sneakers, not dress shoes, and it just… fit him. He made it seem like a perfectly normal thing and not at all out of place for the formal event, and David found it very endearing now that he’d noticed. Dress shirt and pants, sneakers and worn out bracelets, and those piercings… It was all so charming. So Jasper. He came out of his little reverie when the other man continued.

“If you think I’m cool enough, you wanna like… hang out sometime?” Jasper asked, looking up with a hopeful grin.

David smiled back, his heart racing excitedly although a little toned down both from being tired and less nervous around the other man. “Yes, that sounds wonderful.”

“Awesome,” Jasper replied, digging his phone out. “Let me just get set up… okay, number?” he asked, typing the digits as David spoke and saving it into his contacts. He kept typing, clicking his tongue as the glow of his phone lit his face in soft blue. “Wig, here’s me,” he added, just before David’s phone buzzed in his pocket. “So you have mine. Well! Where’s your friend at?”

“I’m… not sure,” David frowned, looking around. He’d seen her from a distance but hadn’t talked to her in some time, and he wasn’t sure if that was intentional on Gwen’s part or not. “She’s only a couple minutes late...” he mused, checking his watch with only a little furrow to his brow.

“I’ll wait with you? Or I can help you look for her if you’re worried,” Jasper offered, sounding a little concerned himself.

“Oh- there she is- Gwen!” David called, waving and catching her attention.

“There you are you bitch,” Gwen greeted as she walked up. “Are you two still just flirting or did you get digits yet?” she demanded, poking David in the chest. She wasn’t slurring but she was definitely drunk, he decided.

“I- we- Gwen-”

“Listen,” she said, turning to Jasper and giving him a deadpan look. “He really likes you, but he’s a fuckin’ mess and I saw you two dancing like forever, so please put me outta my misery and say you two are gonna date or somethin, yeah?”

Jasper stood silently through her tirade, gaze flickering to David, who had a hand over his eyes in mortification. He looked back to Gwen, taking everything in surprisingly easy stride. “Well, hopefully,” he said with a grin, seeing David’s hand drop as the ginger stared at him, wide eyed and blushing. “We did phone numbers and I was planning on asking him out, sooo...” he trailed off, eyes flickering briefly to David with a warm smile.

“Well good!” Gwen insisted, poking Jasper now to emphasize her point. “Cause he’s a weenie and you gotta ask him, otherwise he’ll just be a sad little shit and tell me you don’t like him and whine about how hot you are and how nice your stupid smile is I’ve heard all about it-”

“Okay, Gwen, sweetheart, I think that’s enough please, thank you so much,” David interrupted softly, a little frantic, setting his hands on her shoulders. “How much did you have to drink?” he asked with a frown.

“Daviiid, it’s a fuckin’ wedding, you’re supposed to get plastered,” she complained.

“All the same, I think it’s time we get you home, alright?” he asked, steadying her as she wobbled a little in her heels, the first physical sign that she was feeling the alcohol. Definitely a good time to take her home, both to rest and before she made an unfortunate step in those heels.

“Whatever mom,” she shot back.

“Want a hand?” Jasper asked sympathetically.

“Please,” David replied softly, ducking under one of Gwen’s arms just as she waved her hand dismissively before their new friend could help.

“I can walk David for fuck sake, just gimme a second to get out of these heels from hell-” she grumbled, bending one leg at the knee and hanging onto David as she slipped the shoe off, before repeating with the other and pushing away from him. “Jesus christ, mother hen,” she huffed, holding the shoes by the straps and walking towards the car as the men trailed after her like ducklings.

David trotted ahead a little to unlock and open the passenger door, dutifully allowing Gwen to clamp onto his shoulder as she got into the car, making sure her dress and hands were safely inside before shutting the door. He sighed, straightening up and turning back to Jasper. “Well, thank you, for… everything today,” he said shyly.

“Course, thanks for hangin’ with me,” Jasper replied, holding his hand out.

David blinked, hesitating only briefly before relenting and placing his hand in Jasper’s once more. The other man brought it up and kissed his knuckles, making David flush. If he wasn’t already smitten, the hopeless romantic in him would’ve taken a nose dive off a cliff over that small, but tender gesture. Hell, he had anyway. It was still sinking in that Jasper liked him, wanted to ask him on a date, and he’d momentarily pushed that out of his head while making sure Gwen got to the car okay-

“I had a great time with you,” Jasper said softly, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze and pulling him out of his spiral. “And I really meant it, that I’d like to take you on a date sometime, if that’s cool?” he asked, giving a hopeful look.

David took a shaky breath, smiling. “I’d like that.”

“Rad,” Jasper said, a wide grin lighting up his face.

The torrent of butterflies in his stomach was so strong, and he was so high on cloud nine and a little bit of panic from everything, that before he could overthink it David found himself leaning in and placing a quick kiss on Jasper’s cheek.

Now it was Jasper’s turn to look gobsmacked, as he flushed bright from the action. “Oh, wow, double rad,” he whispered.

David giggled softly, gesturing over his shoulder to the car. “I’d- I’d better get her home.”

“Yeah, yeah, course, take care of Gwen,” Jasper said, releasing David’s hand finally and ruffling his hair nervously, looking a little shell shocked. “Drive safe, yeah?” he grinned, still pink in the cheeks.

“I will, you do the same,” David replied, his smile growing. “Bye Jasp, talk to you soon?”

“Absolute,” Jasper replied, shoving one hand in his pocket and giving a mock salute with the other. “Bye Davey,” he said happily, walking backwards a few paces before whirling around midstep to practically float off to his own car.

David took a deep, steadying breath and let it out slow, unable to keep the silly look off his face as he watched Jasper disappear among the departing guests, his heart still pounding in joy and disbelief...

“Hey!” Gwen barked from inside the car, startling him both with her shout and the loud slap of her palm hitting the window. “Let’s go pinetree, sometime tonight!”

David took one more breath and turned to walk around to the driver’s side, pointedly ignoring Gwen’s rude gesture.

Despite her tendency to get ornery when drunk, Gwen still offered him a playful congratulations on ‘bagging his man’ once they were on the road and heading home. She teased him the whole way about the way they’d been connected at the hip since finding each other, and it confirmed his suspicions that she’d ditched him to give him time alone with Jasper. Why he’d seen her only in passing all night as she seemed to avoid him.

Which was why he was very sincerely thankful this one time to be abandoned by a friend at a social gathering. This thought found him smiling fondly the whole way walking Gwen to her apartment, keeping an arm around her as she fumbled keys out of her purse and unlocked the door. Despite more protests, she allowed herself to be escorted inside and to her bedroom.

David carefully unraveled her hair of it’s pins and twists, got her a glass of water while she changed, and made sure drank at least half of it before bidding her goodnight and leaving, making certain the lights were off and the door was locked on his way out.

Once he was finally home and able to start getting himself ready for bed, his ears rang in the blessed silence after listening to the sounds of the wedding all day. He’d changed and brushed his teeth by the time his phone buzzed, and David was ridiculously elated to see Jasper was already texting him.

J: Hey, sorry for the late text, just wanted to make sure you got home okay and Gwen is good.

D: We’re both fine, thank you. I got her situated and I’m at home now.

J: Cool, good to hear.

D: Thanks again for today, I had a really great time.

J: Yeah totes, me too! I’m really glad the wedding came up cause I thought you were real cute but there’s no smooth way to ask for someone’s number in a changing room without looking like a creep, ya dig?

David giggled softly, flushing.

D: I don’t think I would have minded but I’m glad it worked out how it did. Besides Gwen getting in your face at the end there.

J: No big, she’s cool, outspoken. I like her. Anyway, it’s really late so I’ll leave you alone. Talk to you later?

D: Sounds good. Thanks again, and goodnight.

J: Night!

David let out a happy sigh as he set his phone down, almost unable to believe how lucky he was. He didn’t know what Jasper saw in him, but he wouldn’t argue. He really hadn’t even expected to have that great of a time at the wedding, let alone meet anyone. He’d expected to stay close to Gwen, talk to Deena and Sai and maybe some other people from work the couple had invited. He certainly hadn’t expected to dance with anyone but Gwen.

Then along comes Jasper, looking happy to see him, chatting with him, asking him to dance. He’d never expected someone so fun and handsome to be interested in his dorky self, but Jasper really seemed to like him. He stared at the ceiling of his bedroom in the dark that night, still smiling like an idiot as that sweet but casual kiss to his hand replayed on loop in David’s head, all the while wondering how soon he might see Jasper again.

#camp camp #cc david #cc jasper #cc gwen #jaspvid #ellowrites #i added about 700 words and i should really proofread that part before i post this buuuuut i;m not gonna #gonna post it cross my fingers and bail #enjoy

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

#fatgum #taishiro toyomitsu #fatgum bnha #fatgum mha #mha fatgum #bnha fatgum #dadgum #fatgum as a dad #fatgum is a dad #daddy issues gang

[roll-da-credits]

His Biggest Regret -Bakugou Katsuki x Reader-

Word count: 2.28k

After cracking down a big mafia operation on the other side of the globe, the entire alumni’s of UA’s 1st year finally gets together. The festive situation didn’t sit right with Bakugou who felt the overwhelming longing of someone he couldn’t have anymore.

!Warning!:

Mentions of death, mentions of injury, I think that’s it?

A/n: I honestly felt sad writing this haha, I’m kind of proud of it? Editting it was a hassle tho. Anyways, hope ya’ll enjoy some Bakugou (or Bakugo however you want to spell it) angst.

“Congrats Kacchan!!!” Deku playfully slaps the back of his childhood friend.

His smile was bigger than ever. Around Bakugou was his former classmates all talking away in their own little space.

It's been a long time since they all got together since their graduation. Every time anyone tried to plan anything, at least one of them couldn’t make it. But after a big takedown on a pesky Mafia group on the other side of the globe, they all agreed to take a break and celebrate.

The mastermind of the entire operation was the number 1 hero himself, Katsuki Bakugou. “Without you, I don’t think we’d be able to crack the operation.” Kirishima walked over to them with an equally bright smile.

“Tsk, of course! You extras would’ve gotten nowhere without me!!!” The group laughed together.

Some things just never change when it comes to their anger issues ridden former classmate.

“Then I shall make a toast!” Iida spoke loud enough to make sure everyone heard his voice. Everyone nodded and raised a glass. “To Bakugou, for cracking the mystery of Banana Fish.”

“And to all of us who worked together to finally end Golzine’s reign.” With that, everyone cheered and took a sip from whatever drinks they were holding.

Soon enough, endless chatter filled the entire room.

Smiles, laughter, and giggles could be heard from any point of the room. Old friends reconciling with each other. Old lovers mending their relationships. And old enemies finally apologizing.

It felt foreign to Bakugou.

Not the fact that they were all getting along. It wasn’t that.

It was the fact that everyone knew they were missing someone incredibly important.

They weren’t here right now.

He observed the private club with a keen eye. There were bottles of random drinks on almost every table, shot glasses also littered there.

His former classmates were always responsible drinkers. But today, they took shots after shots. Bottle after bottle.

Even Iida seemed to always have a different drink in his hand every time Bakugou would glance over.

He knew; it wasn’t to celebrate. It was to make sure everyone was too tipsy to say anything that would ruin the mood. It was to make sure that no one brought ‘them’ up.

Afterall, their busy schedules weren’t the only thing that stopped them from getting back together and hanging out.

They held fear in their eyes any time the thought of getting together would cross their minds. The thought of having to come face to face with their greatest failure as a hero, friend, and classmate.

Bakugou knew the feeling all too well.

When he was alone, there were plenty of things he could do to prevent his mind from wandering too far. But whenever he’d come across Deku or Shoto in missions or patrol.

If he were to strike a conversation, there’d always be a small silence that would almost always lead to them bringing up the topic of ‘them’.

“Heyyyy bakubrooo you should relax, you seem a little tense!!!” Kirishima’s words slurred.

It was close to 2 am, the party had already died down a little bit.

Some of his more responsible friends are already long gone. Leaving behind either the ones who are passed out or waiting for their ride.

“Get that shit away from me shitty hair!” He huffed and pushed the half full bottle of some random alcohol his friend tried to hand to him.

“Oh, come one number one. You should loosen up!!! You looked more angry than usual this entire time!!!” Kirishima sat down on the couch beside Bakugou with a loud thud.

“I mean, doesn’t the number one hero deserve a break every once in a while? You deserve it Bakubro. You cracked this giant case!!! Without you, that guy with the purple mohawk could’ve died.”

Kirishima laughed, reminiscing all the sleepless nights he and Bakugou would spend just doing research and trying to gain information from anywhere they could.

He took another swig from the half-emptied bottle, “I don’t deserve the number one spot dumbass.”

Bakugou muttered barely above a whisper.

Even though Kirishima was beyond wasted, the fact that his usually guarded friend suddenly opened up sobered him. “Hey, don’t be like that Bakubro. I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.”

Kirishima tried his best to comfort his friend, to no avail.

“I’m going home.” Bakugou suddenly stood up. “Don’t drive dumbass.” With that he walked to leave the club and to his car, hearing Kirishima yell his response. “Got it!!!”

When he got home, he quickly changed out of the annoyingly formal attire, back to his normal everyday attire. A black tank top and sweatpants.

Bakugou fell onto his bed with a small thud, a sigh of exhaustion left his lips. “Damn shitty hair talking about shit that shouldn’t be talked about.”

There was an unspoken rule amongst anyone who knew the alumni’s situation.

Don’t talk about them, you’ll regret it.

After tossing and turning around, Bakugou realized. He couldn’t sleep.

“Fuck.”

It wasn’t a normal sight to see the hero not being able to sleep. He was so strict about his sleeping schedules too. But his mind can’t seem to leave what Kirishima said.

“I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.”

Who does Kirishima think he was? Talking about them like that. Who knows what they’d think of him right now? He broke his promise to always protect them. To always be by their side.

His head looked to the right. A bedside cabinet made out of wood, stood. Devoid of any decor and just with a single compartment.

A single object lies within that cabinet.

His mind argued with each other, debating whether or not to open it.

“Fuck it!”

If he regretted this decision, he’d deal with that later.

Sitting up on the side of his bed he looked solemnly towards the cabinet.

A shaking hand opened the compartment.

There was a single photo frame, the photo side facing down instead of up.

Before he could back down, he took the frame and flipped it to see the photo.

The photo gleamed at him. It was a pitiful reminder.

Overwhelming sadness and anger filled him, when he looked at the picture. Anger, frustration, longingness, sadness, it all came crashing down.

Before he knew it, stray tears fell from his eyes.

The photo was the last photo he ever took together with his high school sweetheart. The love of his life. The person he promised to marry one day. It was the last photo he ever took with you before the world took you away.

Before those villains attacked UA whilst he was in his 3rd year.

It was before he lost the most important person to a villain.

~

The battlefield was a mess. It had ended but it was still a mess. Random debris scattered around. Some of his classmates and other students from other classes were injured and bloody.

Most of the league had gone with Shigaraki through Kurogiri’s portal, but there’s no telling if someone had stayed. Especially that specific villain with an invisibility quirk.

He had proven to be a rather difficult enemy because of his quirk, but realizing he was outnumbered, he hadn’t showed himself at all. No one saw him walk through Kurogiri’s portal either.

Bakugou shoved that concern to the back of his mind, he had other things to concern himself over. One of the biggest was, finding you.

He needed to apologize. The other night you and he got into a pretty big argument. All because of his anger issues and his pride.

But he couldn’t find you anywhere. Knowing your teleportation quirk.

You’d probably be helping other people around. Helping people deal with debris, transporting different things, and overall doing what you can to relieve any burdens from both the teachers and the students.

He wasn’t really focused on anything. He thought the battle was over. He just needed to find you.

He let his guard down.

He didn’t notice the invisible villain appearing once more to stab him from behind.

He didn’t notice until it was too late.

An ear-splitting scream broke the relatively quiet mood. He knew that scream.

He knew that voice.

His head snapped to the back and everything seemed to have slowed.

He remembered the panic and fear in your eyes. When he noticed the blade embedded in your heart, anger covered his senses.

Another yell resonated in the air. This time it was his own.

Bakugou’s hand went to the villain’s face and blasted them to somewhere he couldn’t even bother to care.

His arms caught your limp body from falling to the cold ground.

The world seemed to turn gray around him. The only thing he could see was your figure on his arms.

Blood pooling from your wound.

The anger that he felt just moments before was quickly replaced by fear.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT DUMBASS?!” the people around him froze.

You tried to mutter enough energy to at least say a word. Just a single word. “Sorry.” Your voice came in stutters. Followed by a cough of blood.

He felt your body in his hands growing heavier, your hand on his cheek fell to the ground.

“DUMBASS WAKE UP!!!” he didn’t know if it was the shock of the surprise attack or the fear that made his voice crack. “WAKE UP OR I’LL NEVER COOK YOU FOOD AGAIN.”

Your eyes were wide open, but they were cold, empty, unresponsive.

He let tears flow down freely. Now clutching your body against his chest.

“No please.” He wrapped his arms around your body one arm below the stab and another from the bottom, above the stab. “Please teddy bear. I’m sorry ok? I’m sorry. This is enough payback for the shit I said to you last night. So please ok? Please wake up.”

A few of your classmates already a sobbing mess on the ground.

“Please teddy bear, the prank is over. Please… wake up…” Kirishima’s hand on his shoulder broke his trance.

He looked up at his standing friend.

Kirishima saw the sight of his usual angry, stubborn, brave friend, turn weak. Tears were already pouring from Kirishima’s eyes. But he needed to be strong.

It wasn’t his place to breakdown when his best friend had lost the only person who was brave enough of taking the challenge of calming the beast.

“I’m sorry Bakubro.” Kirishima shook his head.

That was the thing that made Bakugou finally realize, you were gone. He screamed up to the sky, cursing whatever God had decided you’d sacrifice your own life for his. He was frustrated he couldn’t protect you.

Kirishima looked around, and he saw how much his classmates cared about him.

No one dared to move or utter a sound above a stifle of cries. No one knew how to react. For the first time in UA history, a student has died in the school’s premise. And that student, was you.

Though Kirishima couldn’t see all of his classmates. He was sure they’d be equally as devastated to hear what had happened. You were such an important part in their lives. To have yours be stripped away that easily was shocking.

You were a ball of sunshine that brought joy no matter what you were feeling or where you were.

But now you lie on the ground, cold.

That night, the entire class was reminded of the hard truth of being as self-sacrificing as you were. You’d sacrifice your sleep to tutor Denki. You’d sacrifice resting your aching muscles just to make everyone’s favourite dishes for dinner.

Now, you’ve sacrificed your life for your lover’s.

~

He wiped the clear frame from dust and took a closer look at it.

You took it the morning before the argument. It was breakfast and for some reason, you were awake as early as him, for the first time in forever.

You had one of your arms around his torso, hugging him from behind. A bright smile decorated your face as you looked at the camera. Bakugou on the other hand looked to the side with a scowl on his face.

He remembered, after taking that photo. You kissed his cheek and uttered a sweet good morning before making your own breakfast. You didn’t miss the pink hue that decorated his cheeks. Your teasing giggles filled the room.

God, the things he’d give up just to hear your giggles again.

“You’ll never get hurt as long as I’m around.”

“Shut up dumbass, you won’t get hurt. I’ll protect you.”

“I won’t let anyone harm you.”

Those were just some promises he had made to himself and to you.

But now, here he was regretting the fact that his very last conversation with you was a useless back and forth of insults.

If he could turn back time and sacrifice himself, he would.

Bakugou placed the frame down and opened his phone, hoping for some sort of distraction. He wasn’t ready to completely face it yet. Though, everything online only fuelled his self-loathing

There were articles everywhere about how the number one hero Ground Zero otherwise known as Katsuki Bakugou, had saved the lives of thousands of people by cracking a giant drug market.

They all praised him. They all agreed he deserved the spot.

But did he really?

He didn’t think that such a title can be for him. Someone who broke all the promises he ever made to you.

How could he be the number one hero when the only person who was able to control him whilst loving him unconditionally died because of him.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #mha x reader #mha #mha angst #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo angst #bakugou angst #bakugou x you

[ohhmyheart5678]

When in the streets of seoul (5)

*warning* this mentions death, murder, suicide, guns, and other gruesome and dark content if you are sensitive to these kinds of things do not read it

Pairing: Chan x female reader

Word count 2.1k

Previous/ next

*****

It's been six days, six day fucking days since I've been trapped here. I absolutely hate it. I spent the first three days not speaking to anyone and the other three finally excepting the fact that this is going to be my life now.

It's such a nice place. I get fed the best foods, I sleep in the most comfortable king sized bed with silk sheets, I have the best clothes, and I'm still miserable.

I went to the speaker and pressed 1. "Kinely ! You need something?" Chan sounded quite concerned. He believed that I had everything I needed but he forgot one thing. "I need to go to the store" I say sharply. Even though the deal was  that I wasn’t able to go in public he haven't let me out of this room yet.

He says I'm not cooperating and so I have to wait. "What do you need from the store that I can't get for you?" I could hear the slight annoyance in his voice but he could never be as annoyed as I am right now. I mean he is keeping me hostage for Christ sake. "Just take me to the store you dickhead" I was honestly so done with him.

I needed to get out this room and I needed to go to the store ASAP. "I'm not going to the store because you won't tell me what it is" Chris was trying to put his foot down but little did he know I was far better at this game than he was. "Look I need pads either you take me to get them, or you can suffer the consequences of trying to find the perfect pads for me which I guarantee that you won't and then you'll have to take me to pick them out anyways, or we can always go with the option of me bleeding everywhere" there was a long pause before he finally responded.

"Fine I'll take you to the store" was all he said before it went completely silent. I waited patiently by the door until a boy comes in. "Hey seugmin did Chris send you for me" he just gives a simple nod. "Felix and I" he simply says while fully opening the door that he was standing in just enough to show his body. Once he swung open the door it revealed Felix. The orange haired boy waved at me.

Since staying here Chris has sent the boys at least once so that they could introduce themselves since I'm gonna be seeing a lot more of them. I've learned about what these boys do. Since I had nothing better to do the least I could do was steal information on the guys I'm going to be living with from now on.

For instance Chris is the oldest and the leader. He calls the shots, he looks over the plans, and makes sure everything runs smoothly he does need to do much work but Felix says Chris is the last resort and that he’s feel bad for anyone if Chris was called in. Then there's Minho. He is one of the main men on the field he's the look out and distraction, and supposedly from what I heard he does a damn good job at it. Plus Minho has a medical background so if anyone gets hurt he’s the man everyone goes to.

There's also changbin he's got quite the temper so they use him when there's need for extreme measures you know if they need .. a mess. I heard he can get pretty creative with that stuff.

Hyunjin, who often checks on me throughout the day is the sniper. He knows weapons like the back of his hands and could handle them blindfolded. Then it's Jisung, they call him Han. He is the best fighter in the house. You can have a gun in the fight and he could still win.

Felix known as the second Aussie of the house does the interrogations. He can get anyone to talk, his deep voice scares mostly anyone , but for the ones that are harder to get through. Let's just say they can either come out alive while missing some part of their body. Or they can come out in a body bag.

Seugmin is the hacker, he can hack into litterally anything. You name it, he can hack it. He's the one who got the information on my dad.

Last but definitely not least there's jeongin they all him I.N . He is silent but deadly. The red hair boy is like a ninja. They use him when they want to get the job done quickly but quietly.

We arrived downstairs where Chris was waiting for us at the door. I figured he was already handling business downstairs so he fetched the two boys to get me. "Thanks gentleman I got it from here" it was his nice easy of telling them to go away.

We got into his car and he drives us to a nearby store. I looks around searching for the right ones as he stands behind me trying to figure how the whole process works. I saw the pack I wanted and grabbed two of them. "Ahh now I know for next time" he says as if he has just been enlightened. "Next time?" I wanted to know what he meant by next time.

"Next time its you know... that time, I'll be able to pick out the right ones for you" that’s so aggravating! My only reason to get out the house was once again taken from me. Chan probably could tell that I was slightly disappointed by his statement so he changed it a little , I mean seeing that he’s talking to a hormonal women who’s not necessarily in the best mood at the moment. "I mean unless you'd like to do it for yourself" A small smile slightly appeared on my face as I handed the cashier the goods to ring up. "Is there anything else you want or need from here before we leave" Chris wanted to hurry out of here because this was time he could be spending working at home. "Nope" I was completely content with having what I needed so far.

Once we arrived back home I was instantly sent back to my room. Sitting there in boredom I looked around for some form of entertainment. There was absolutely nothing to do in this room and I was just now realizing it. For the past few days all I've been doing was sleeping and eating , so I didn't stop to think about it . I was too busy being sad about being locked up in a room by a bunch of psychos.

I looked over at the speaker not wanting to bother Chris because I rarely want to even speak to him. I walked over pushing the number 5 on the speaker and hoped this man was in his room.

"Hey kinely are you doing ok?" He genuinely sounded concerned. "Can you come over here please" I knew I didn't have to really ask him because he doesn't mind coming and checking on me anyways but I thought to ask just in case . "Sure just give me a sec" Hyunjin was always in here and even though Chris comes in often to talk to me he's always busy it's only for a few seconds before he goes back to "work".

Hyunjin came within fifteen minutes. He knocks making sure I'm not naked or anything. I think that it was pretty nice of him to do considering the other boys just come in as they please. I mean I know it's your home and all but a girl needs privacy.

"Come in" I yelled from my closet, I had just put on sweats and a hoodie to get a little comfortable. "You sent for me?" He walked in and closed the door behind him. "I was wondering if you could stay in here for a little longer than you normally do? I think I'm gonna go insane in here by myself" he chuckled at me being immensely dramatic. I put the back of my hand on my forehead pretending to be a damsel in distress.

He walked over to my bed and sat on it and patted on it which was his way of telling me to sit down. "Maybe you don't have to stay in here all the time" he seemed like he was getting somewhere but I was yet to follow. "What do you mean?" Was he gonna take me out this house or was I reading this wrong? "Its not much but maybe you could come to my room. There's tons of things to do in there. We just can't let Chan know I'm taking you out considering he wants you in the room." He fidgets a little wondering how I was going to respond to his offer.

Hell yeah I was gonna take this opportunity to leave the room! I had nothing else to do in the looney house. "Why not?" I shrug not wanting him to know just how excited I was. He grabs my head and leads me to his room all the way in the other side of the house.

My jaw dropped once he opened his room door to let me inside. He had arcade games like ddr, those ones when you race on the motorcycle, street fighter and pac man. He had a giant tv mounted on his wall in front of his bed and a wii console which I havent seen in years. "Told ya" he crossed his arms leaning against doorframe while admiring the dumb look of shock on my face.

"Where do we even start?" I was still looking around trying to pinpoint the first thing I wanted to do. "Doesn't matter where we start all you need to know is I'll kick your ass at any game in this room" his cockiness shines through, a side of him I haven't seen since I first met him.

What he didn't know was how competitive I can get "You're gonna be very disappointed when you realize how much you suck compared to me, especially when I beat you in dance revolution" It was on now. I can see a gleam in his eyes and knew he was almost if not just as competitive as I am.

Twelve rounds, six wins , and six loses later. We decided to watch a movie. "How's it feel to loose to someone as amazing as I?" I stood on his bed placing my hand on my hips. I'm sure he's yet to meet someone as dramatic as me. "We both won and lost the same amount of time so I'd say we're equally as amazing if you ask me" hes right about that but this his room and his games that he plays all the time if he didn’t win then it would be embarrassing. Hyunjin pulls my right leg causing me to fall on his bed. "You asshole!" My body had no control over itself. It was bouncing up and down on its own and I couldn't even stop it.

"You were to one who wanted to watch a movie and you can't even sit still" Hyunjin teases while I finally get myself together and sit up all the way in the bed. "Plus you weren't calling me a asshole when I took you out of your room." I gasped while holding my chest. "Oh how dare you?" I squinted my eyes at him and he laughed at me.

I must admit I haven't felt this good in a few days. I almost forgot that I was being held against my will but the thought is always in the back of my mind. I finally settle down and Hyunjin was nice enough to let me choose the movie I wanted. So here we were, on the bed watching a movie. For comfort I lay my head on his shoulder and her wraps his wraps around me.

I felt relaxed and almost safe. Soon I fell asleep with the movie playing in the background. Hyunjin was staying still trying not to wake me up. In fact so still that he ended up falling asleep himself.

I just needed to wake up on time before Chris realizes that I'm gone.

Previous/next

#jyp stray kids #stray kids #stray kids reactions #straykids #stray kids edit #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz #straykids bangchan #bangchan imagines #stray kings bangchan #straykids mafia au #stray kids mafia au #skz mafia #straykids reaction #stray kids reader #skz reactions #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz scenarios #straykids scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz chris #straykids poly #straykids hyunjin #hyunjin hwang #hwang hyunjin imagines

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

when do you think theyll make hawkdemetri canon; in s4 or later (assuming it goes to 6 seasons)? i think the romantic aspects of their relationship will be empathized more clearly in s4 (hawk's jealousy of yasmime, their deep understanding and love for each other, etc) but they won't officially get together until the fifth season, leaving the last one to explore them figuring out how to go public and all that. or or i was thinking they do get together in s4 but due to the cobras threatening demetri or smth like that, they break up shortly after and don't get back together until the s5 or 6 finale. i feel like i'm being bold bc nothings set in stone but w what jon and hayden liked/rted im just ahhh!! so excited!!

Oh man, are we actually doing this now??? Are we actually discussing when Hawkmetri would hypothetically go canon???

EH, FUCK IT

IF SHE-RA WENT THROUGH WITH IT MAYBE IT ISN’T A MERE GAY KARATE PIPE DREAM

I personally see them making Hawk/Demetri an endgame pairing, so they wouldn’t officially get together until close to the end of the series--maybe even IN the series finale (which, as I believe I mentioned in one of my other posts, I would strongly prefer to be the kids’ senior prom, where a giant karate fight breaks out and everyone has to battle in tuxes and dresses because it would be HILARIOUSLY AWESOME). I think they might do it like She-Ra did Catradora, where they don’t confess their love and get together until the last (or close to the last) episode (Ah, She-Ra spoilers, I guess...but anyone who doesn’t know by now that Catra and Adora end up together has been living under a rock XD) but there’s LOTS of ship tease prior and maybe even a stolen kiss/hand-hold or two leading up to that moment. Either way, if they decide to go the Hawkmetri route, it definitely has Endgame Ship vibes to me, which means...good news is, we’re gonna win this bitch, and bad news is, I don’t think we’ll be seeing Hawkmetri proper anytime soon, especially if the show goes on for 6+ seasons D: But hey, we sure as hell have something to look forward to, if our hope isn’t totally misplaced!

I think most likely Demetri and Yasmine will date throughout Season 4, and I can see the writers using this to give Hawk a “green-eyed epiphany” of sorts, where he realizes he’s jealous of Yasmine in slightly more than a you’re-hanging-out-with-my-best-friend-more-than-me kind of way, and he’s just like “...oh fuck, am I gay? Shit shit SHIT” and cue Big Boi Angst! Probably by Season 5 Dem and Yaz will be broken up (because ain’t no one telling me a relationship founded on wedgies lasts more than one goddamn season), and that’s when we’ll start getting a lot more ship tease with Demetri and Hawk--subtle touches, a bit of hand-holding (but, of course, they’d find a way to do it in contexts where they can get away with it lol), “friendship teasing” that’s basically flirting, longing gazes when the other isn’t looking, getting a little TOO contact-happy when they spar--that kinda deal. Maybe at the end of Season 5, they’ll share a kiss, but they won’t want to address it or it’ll come with some complication. Like they’re both drunk, or maybe one kisses the other and then doesn’t want to talk about it afterwards because they’re too embarrassed, etc etc. And they’re both trying to figure out if everyone’s even going to be cool with them being gay anyways.

Season 6 I see as being more or less the same thing, with lots of ship tease and mutual pining and such, but it’s a bit more intense now and kinda complicated by the fact that they’re more directly aware of their affection for each other being romantic and they’re both trying to come to terms with the fact that they’re definitely probably not straight. They’re also slowly realizing they’re full-on in love with each other too, and they’re both trying to work up the courage to just ask the other to be with them. And then at the end of the season they finally do it, and then go to Karate Prom together!!! The madlads!!!

GRANTED, I’m REALLY trying not to get my own hopes up about all this, BUT the fact that one of the show creators liked someone’s tweet asking if Hawk and Demetri were gonna be the LGBT rep and another creator straight-up RETWEETING Hawk x Demetri fanart is...admittedly very promising!!! I’m really really hoping beyond hope that this ship happens!!! But Korrasami happened, Catradora happened...so anything is possible!!! It’s certainly easier to make a gay ship with semi-major characters canon than it used to be. I just hope the homophobic side of the Cobra Kai fanbase doesn’t mess this up for us by bitching about “PC” LGBT representation to the showrunners or something :/ Man...it’s honestly kind of alarming to see the amount of people who seem against shipping Hawk and Demetri solely because...they’re both guys??? Like people really be like “UGH these two guys are PLATONIC FRIENDS why must you make it GAY???” As if anyone in the history of EVER has said “UGH this guy and this girl are PLATONIC FRIENDS why must you make it STRAIGHT???” because...they’re already “defaulted” to be straight :/ Sigh...this is the depressing world we live in, I guess.

Fingers still crossed for Hawk x Demetri, though!!! Let’s make it canon through the Power of Karate!!!

Man I am on a ROLL tonight, I can’t fuckin sleep so instead I’m in my askbox shitposting about the binary boyfriends nonstop XD 3 asks in one night, babeyyyyy!

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #demetri x hawk #eli x demetri #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #hawk #cobra kai #cobra kai season 4 #cobra kai season 5 #cobra kai season 6 #demetri #eli

[gaawachan]

Critical Role 127 Discord Discussion

*Content warning, discussions of trauma, toxicity, toxic masculinity, implied projection, violence, strong language, etc*

*this is a conversation between two AFAB people with PTSD about Critical Role.  It is a bit uncharitable at times, but try to understand that it's coming from a place of hurt and frustration.  There are brief references to our own trauma, and discussions about social pressure and unsafe handling of traumatized individuals.  Please note that NONE of this is directed at the Critical Role cast*

Also, sorry to any Veth fans we’ve offended, but it’s not so entertaining when you’ve had people like that in your life messing with your ability to heal in a healthy way.  Sometimes the media we consume is unintentionally hurtful... as is the meta surrounding it.  Please try to remember who might be reading your posts.

Sibling: (regarding a post about how Veth drew first blood in sanatorium) That's TRUE! VETH SHOT FIRST "oh wow what a cold-blooded murderer" fuck off with that lol

Me: ngl I dislike Veth at this point. She's outright toxic to Caleb in a way that makes me really uncomfortable.

Sibling: How dare she call him that when her first impulse in ANY SITUATION is to kill... and she dragged him to the hall he was abused in and condemned him for killing people as swiftly as he could.

Me: She's by far the most bloodthirsty, the whole group (but especially her) keep pushing him into situations he doesn't want to be in and then they clutch their pearls as he mops up the mess THEY pressured him into.

Sibling: I honestly wish Caddy had gone instead of Jester, but I understand why he couldn't.

Me: At EVERY TURN, even before Molly died, they pushed him and put him in dangerous situations he didn't want to be in and then they're like GASP he kills people really fast oh no!

Sibling: I mean, what I don't get is that... yeah, visually the deaths seem horrible. HE MADE SURE THEY DIED AS QUICKLY AS-AS THAT LADY FROM HITMAN WHO GETS SQUASHED IN THE GIANT PRESSER.

Me: No one else in the party gets pressured to do things they don't want to do quite like Caleb does.  Maybe Caduceus, early on.  But they are CONSTANTLY doing this to Caleb at every turn.  Fjord is probably the only one who consistently tries to avoid doing that. Everyone else gets the whole "we'll support whatever you choose to do" treatment. Not Caleb.

Sibling: but yeah, Beau seems... okayish about it? But I wish she'd kept her mouth shut about Astrid. Why should he have to hear what someone complicit in his abuse and others' is "feewwing"? She's using him and she's using the 9.

Me: It makes me so angry, because Caleb, more than any other member of the party, really ought to be given respect for his own autonomy and wishes, ESPECIALLY with regards to his past! They don't just pressure him to do things he doesn't want to do with respect to his past (and other situations, too) but they demand that he do what they think he should while holding the motives they think he should have while doing so. It's not enough that he go after Trent, he has to police his own feelings and do it for the right reasons.  Which is really disgusting because all of them are clearly chomping at the bit to kill Trent out of revenge, but Caleb's supposed to want to kill Trent for the greater good. Like seriously FUCK OFF.

Sibling: EXACTLY.  HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS. It's the expectation of: "You should feel and do these things in regards to your trauma, because doing anything else makes us uncomfortable." Don't we know that fucking feeling. You don't even have to like how you're feeling and other people still get to dictate what is and isn't acceptable.  It's genuinely appalling.

Me: I think it's really gross how supportive the group is of each other when it comes to all their various problems, but with Caleb, they are constantly pressuring and challenging him and NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

Sibling: I felt Veth and Caleb's personal exchange was sweet, but I'm right back to feeling that she needs to go when they go to Nicodranas, just... just stay with your family. Bring back Taryon or something.

Me: If this last episode was proof of anything, it's that forcing Caleb to confront his past because others in the party want him to is nothing short of abusive behavior on their parts.

Sibling: Not to mention the condemnation of how he handles the thing they pressured him to do.

Me: And I have thought this even before he told Beau and Molly about Trent, because Caleb didn't want to participate in that tournament thing in Zadash that put him back on Trent's radar. And after he told them, did he ever get an apology from those who pressured him to participate in that?  No.

Sibling: ... I just don't understand the 9. Caleb... It'd be like how they treated Fjord in regards to Avantika, honestly.

Me: But frankly she (Veth) has been repeatedly very cruel to him in a very casual way.

Sibling: Totally, wtf, she says she loves him but she acts like she thinks he’s an awful person- a useful awful person.

Me: And I should be clear, I've tried really, really hard to give her the benefit of the doubt, and she just keeps doing it over and over.

Sibling: Dude, same. I thought we got Nott back, and was feeling good until recently.

Me: And the thing that pisses me off most of all is that Caleb HAS made clear what HE wants at this point, and the party just... glossed over it.  Caduceus said he approved of Caleb's stance, but... That doesn't mean anything if you don't actively push back against the pressure the other party members apply.

Sibling: As I've said before, I want Caduceus and Caleb to have this talk and yet I realize that he's not that kind of counselor. I don't see Ducey as an advocate... he has no idea what Caleb went through and doesn't have the skills to help him cope; he's a grief counselor, not a therapist.

Me: What Caleb needs is input from people who aren't so pushy about this.  Fjord is a good choice but, like Caddy, he's shown that he won't step in and be like "how about we do what CALEB wants?"

Sibling: And... they're able to semi-acknowledge Beau's trauma but not Caleb's? Fjord honestly is the closest thing to an advocate Caleb has but he... he's also too passive.  He doesn't care if Caleb does something he'll regret and also doesn't care that other people are pushing him into doing things he'll regret.

Me: Honestly this is why I was HOPING that Essek would get to know the party better, because for all his faults, Essek generally has a cool head and I think he WOULD push back against the others and say that, especially with his experience with the Assembly. I think that Essek would definitely support Caleb's perspective more than the others and he's not afraid to push back with his opinions.

Sibling: Shadowgast forever. Even if it dismays the Widojest fans, who apparently don't like shipping Caleb with people who are morally questionable. Despite the fact that Jester was willing to dupe a ton of people into putting their lives in danger for an imaginary friend.

Me: (not touching ship wars with a ten foot pole, tyvm) I think if Essek saw the way the party members were pressuring Caleb with respect to Trent in particular, he'd be a bit taken aback because he's seen how amenable to the wants of his friends Caleb is.

Sibling: Essek did what Essek wanted to and it got him into trouble. Caleb is helping other people and doing exactly what others tell him to, feeling what others want him to, trying to please them, and it's getting him into trouble. They could do with a bit of reigning in for each other.

Me: Ngl, if this mess gets Caleb killed, I'm going to lose it.

Sibling: Well, I mean... If Caleb dies at all, I'm going to lose it... especially because his blood will be on the 9's hands and I'm not sure if, like Molly, he would want to come back. Which is awful to say but I wonder if someone so... hurt wouldn't just... let it happen.

Sibling: I sort of got it from a player's perspective in regards to Ducey? The cast was bored and weren't really interested in Cad's story so they messed around and ignored him... But like, this? This is... "We need to see Caleb's story arc because we haven't yet, even though it doesn't make sense right now and we're already on a time limit"

Me: That's true... IT MAKES ME SO MAD.  When they finished the spell for Veth and tricked Isharnai, Cale let her take time to think before they removed the curse.  He didn't even fully understand why she needed that time but he gave it to her.  And again, on Rumblecusp for Jester, he was like "here is what I can offer.  What do you want me to do for you?  I am here for you."  AND THEY NEVER DO THE SAME THING IN TURN.  WHEN IT'S HIS TURN, THE PARTY IS LIKE "HERE IS WHAT WE WANT YOU TO DO AND HOW WE WANT YOU TO FEEL ABOUT IT."

Sibling: It's true. I'd go so far as to say Caleb's self-destructive in that respect.

Me: Maybe I'm being uncharitable, but this has been going on for 127 episodes and it hasn't gotten any better! They're STILL doing this and they're not even being half as supportive about it the way they were with Jester's angst about Artagan!  And Caleb is almost as young as Jester mentally!

Sibling: No, I don't think you're being uncharitable. They treat Caleb like they know what's best for him and not one has bothered to ask him- SERIOUSLY ASK HIM- "Do you want to deal with this now, later, or not at all? because it's okay if you don't want to deal with it. That's your choice."

Sibling: Can you imagine if they were as supportive to Caleb as they were to Jester about her "pedoy-creeper" imaginary friend? Meanwhile Caleb's backstory has ACTUAL TONES of sexual abuse and they're just like hahaaha, don't you want to go back to the torture prison?? You can get some anti-spy necklaces, it'll be good but don't kill anyone there even if they were complicit in your abuse...

Me: AND THEN RESPECT THAT CHOICE. They do not, DO NOT, get to clutch their pearls over Caleb killing people in the sanatorium after all this time.  THEY pressured him to do this, THEY ALREADY KNEW this would be awful for him, THEY'VE ALREADY SEEN WHAT HE'S LIKE in these situations, and THEY ARE JUST AS MURDEROUS AS HE IS. ��When other party members kill people, it's no big deal, but when Caleb is faced with people who imprison and experiment on and torture people like him (ONLY FIVE-SIX YEARS AGO HE WAS IN THERE) and he kills them and they have the audacity to be upset as if they haven't killed dozens of other people for far weaker reasons!

Sibling: ... Actually, do you think it's a sexism thing? They're not addressing Caleb's massive elephant in the room because there's a cute gal who has mild creeper overtones in her backstory?

Me: Yes, I absolutely do. If Caleb was a cute girl, they would be far more emotionally supportive and would not be pressuring him in this way. It absolutely wouldn't happen.

Sibling: Like, they punched the crap out of Artagan, which like, cool, but what did he do to Jester? He screwed over other people and there's some mild undertones of gross manipulation when she was little. Trent canonically abused the Blumentrio when they were children and then stripped Caleb's ability to say "no" from him for 11 years...

Me: It's not just because he's a boy, but he also looks older than he is- early thirties instead of early twenties, and I'd argue that his five years on the streets barely count for mental maturity, too- so they don't give him the same kind of unabashed emotional support, because they still code him as someone "unstable/misled" who needs to be "guided/controlled," hence the constant pressuring and questioning.

Me: No, and that's the thing. The thing that hangs over this in particular. The party barely knows anything about the abuse he suffered and they, including Caleb, know almost nothing about what he endured in the asylum. I can't even imagine how horrifying it is to be there. Just think about it.

Sibling: I have, and I can empathize

Me: Every time he saw one of those guards, you know he had to think... "Did this one hurt me?  Did this one?  Do they know?  They have to know.  There's no way they don't know even if they didn't participate... I was here just a few years ago... Did one of them hurt me?  Did one of them touch me?  Did one of them see me?! I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER IF THEY HURT ME BUT THEM JUST BEING HERE MEANS THEY ARE HURTING PEOPLE LIKE ME." How is anyone, even someone who wasn't tortured and brainwashed as a teenager, supposed to handle that?

Sibling: I know how much it can fuck you up IRL to be abused. Can you imagine 11 years of that??? Fuck no, it was awful just the few times it happened but that was his TRAINING before it was his PRISON. And then his "friends" call him a murderer. Cold, cruel. And that's the thing... I don't know if Caleb will ever open up to anyone about it. Maybe Essek, but certainly not Veth. Veth doesn't care unless she can get something out of it.

Me: It's shocking to me that no one in the party seemed to even consider what a horrible thing it was to do to bring Caleb back there.  It speaks to how little consideration they actually have for his feelings on any meaningful level.

Sibling: The only person I can think of who might have an excuse is Caddy because I don't think he's had that specific talk with Caddy. And he never will, because those characters never fucking talk.

Me: No, when they were in Rexxentrum, he clarified some things. He told them that Trent would hurt him and then apologize after the fact, and about his parents, and in Felderwin he did tell them about the experiments, and they knew that he was kept in the asylum for eleven years.

Sibling: Ugh, you're right. I mean I feel like I just don't understand the 9 right now. Caleb... It's a lot like how how they treated Fjord in regards to Avantika, honestly. In fact, I keep drawing parallels to Fjord.

Me: Yeah, that was terrible.

Sibling: It's another "ughh he's a boy he needs to deal with it" rather than "that was awful and I'm sorry" "what can we do to help" And honestly fuck that mindset.

Me: And remember; Caleb was the only one to consider that what happened with Avantika would be hard on Fjord, and even said to Beau and Nott that they needed to be supportive... and then they just ignored him.

Sibling: How dare they treat Jester, who... I'm sorry, what's her trauma again? She was stuck inside for a while... nvm, why is she being treated with more care than Caleb and Fjord, who've both had actual abusive experiences... and the answer is that they've got dicks, and that means they don’t need concern and care. They can deal with it themselves, they have to be MANLY and cope with violence, but also violence is bad and you shouldn't engage in it... "how dare you strike back at the abusers we told you to strike back at?"

Me: Yes.  That is exactly it, and don't forget this:  When the party first met Nott and Caleb, they assumed that Caleb was a FUCKING PREDATOR preying on Nott.  Why?  Because he's a homeless man in his apparent thirties, and she was small.

Sibling: Critical Role and the Assumed Nature of People w/ Penises

Me: The best thing Nott ever did for Caleb was correct the record on that bullshit.

Sibling: But again, that's Nott, not Veth. God I miss Nott.

Me: That was back when he was a surrogate for her family and her hope for becoming herself again.

Sibling: I just.... I don't understand what changed; she cared for Caleb even if it was for her own gain... why is she still manipulating him if she has nothing more to gain?

Me: It was Felderwin (when it started to change).  But she's doing it now because it will make it easier for her to leave guilt free.

Sibling: Then leave... Don't hang around with a "murderer" if you're going to pretend you haven't done your fair share of slaughtering yourself- fuck, she even drew first blood in that fight, WHY?!

Me: You don't get to put someone into a position where they have to kill people and then get upset and call them a murderer when they kill people.  If Veth had just shot and killed the guy in one turn, do you think she'd get that kind of reaction?  No. But because it's the traumatized young man who was trained to be a murderer as a teenager, it's somehow particularly bad when he kills... when he has no choice but to do so?! Ridiculous.

Sibling: I just find it so weird that the ACTUAL murder hobo of the group is pointing at another member and calling him the murder hobo. He has killed people, he was a hobo, but the people who have truly done disgusting things over the course of the campaign is not the hobo who is a murderer. It's the Chaos Crew. Beau killed a person with acid when she had a knife readily available... and you know... could have snapped his neck to begin with... not that the party knows that but.

Me: That's what I EXPECTED Beau to do!

Sibling: The GROUP was all horrified and shocked when Caleb quickly and swiftly took out the guards of the torture dungeon but Beau let a man suffer for fucking MINUTES while acid burned out his throat and he suffocated and STILL DIDN'T DIE until she had to finish him off... and Beau killed that man near Caduceus' family, threw his head in the water.

Me: Remember when Nott killed that guard in Uthodurn?

Sibling: Veth has killed so many people when they didn't need to, but no. Using quick, lethal methods to dispatch guards (much, MUCH BETTER than burning) is too far.

Me: NONE of them are pushed back on in the same way, and none of them are pressured to act/feel a certain way, and ALSO... The party has ONLY benefited from this side of Caleb. It is the ONLY reason that Fjord, Yasha, and Jester are alive, because he went into that space to save them in the Sour Nest.  It is the ONLY reason they took down Avantika as easily as they did, because he went all out in that fight. It is the ONLY reason they got Yeza out and made friends with the Dynasty, because he was willing to do something that got him scolded- SCOLDED- by the group even though it saved them and HE was the one losing out more than any other by giving up the beacon! And it is therefore the reason they were able to use their clout in the Dynasty to END THE WAR. They benefit from this headspace Caleb falls into and then condemn it at the same time. Don't want him to be that way?  Stop putting him in situations where he HAS TO BE THAT WAY.

Sibling: Caleb is the glue for the M9, has saved them more times than they can count. Time, traveling and in combat, and they're still demanding he address his trauma in ways that make them comfortable. Despicable, and honestly? Toxic.

Me: And now he may fall back into the hands of his abuser because of it. I've been thinking of this ever since the peace talks that it was such a shame that Essek was the traitor because Caleb really, really could have benefited from having a true safe space in Rosohna. What a shame it is that Essek was working for THEM, and broke Caleb's trust, and now Rosohna doesn't feel like a place he can really go to anymore.

Sibling: He still can. If Essek survives, go live in your wizard tower, resummon it every single day, and live life away from both sides of the war.

Me: No, I agree. Probably the worst thing that people keep pressuring Caleb on is not revenge. It's what they keep implying he ought to do after Trent is dead. He DOESN'T WANT to be part of the government. He just wants the scourger program to stop.

Sibling: He owes the government NOTHING. It has only hurt him. He doesn't need to be forced to pick up the mess that OTHER PEOPLE CAUSED because he was affected by it.

Me: He just wanted to teach magic ffs.  That breaks my heart. Like, what a terrible thing... to tell someone who already thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy, that he should spend his life in a job he DOESN'T WANT in order to fix things that PEOPLE WHO WRONGED HIM DID. Because he could cave in and do it; he hates himself, and that's the true grossness of all the pressure the party puts on Caleb. His self-loathing makes him inclined to just give in and do what they say, because his own desires will end up stifled by theirs.

Sibling: I think the thing that's weird to me though? Is that... other cast members don't... seem to see that. Even in the Talks Machina segments. Liam has expressed how profoundly damaged Caleb is and the cast, not just the party just... doesn't seem to mind? And I honestly, HONESTLY think it's sexism.

Me: Yeah, remember how sweet they were to Calianna? >_> Less trauma with actions just as bad, and yet... "CALEB WHY ARE YOU DOUBTING AND DISTRUSTING HER" - said the people who non-stop doubt and distrust Caleb.

Sibling: I do completely agree that the way the 9 have been handling Caleb's trauma is encapsulated by last week's episode... I think it: 1) Has a lot to do with sexism and 2) Has a lot to do with the cast rushing his arc before the Eiselcross arc is completed. This doesn't feel like his choice to enter his arc. This feels like his hand was forced to address trauma before he was ready and I don't think that's a great look for the 9.

Me: It makes me sad, too, because I feel like with the careless way the Nein handle Caleb's past... I just don't see any way for things to end well for Astrid and Wulf, to be honest.  There's no way these buffoons won't fuck up any chance at those two being redeemed. And I'm not even crazy about the prospect of them being redeemed, but if there's any chance for it... it won't be Caleb that fucks it up.  It will be the other members of the Nein, I just know it.

Sibling: No, they'll force a romance that won't be any less toxic than it was before. Because a woman needs to heal Caleb's wounds. *pukes*

Me: GOD AND THEN... Like, they all want revenge on Trent even as they pretend that Caleb shouldn't and needs to do things for the greater good, but... the thing is that if they really, really wanted justice for Caleb... Why, why, WHY are they not coordinating with the COBALT SOUL  to take Trent down?! That is their ACTUAL BEST AVENUE for doing so! And Caleb would be far more safe and comfortable doing that!

Sibling: "Because the Cobalt Soul is Beau's arc and we want to do Caleb's arc"

Me: Beau gets a trial for her trauma... Caleb gets called a stone-cold murderer for being forced to confront his directly. Then stop pressuring him into direct confrontations with his trauma!

Sibling: Sexism, I'm telling you.  She's a laddyyyy

Me: And more and more I'm thinking that the 8th floor of the tower is actually a really healthy thing for him to do, because it's obvious that he's never going to be able to healthily process his trauma in a way that's under his control with the Nein constantly pressuring him to confront it in dangerous, unsafe ways that he doesn't want to. It's amazing to me that they balked at the 8th floor of the tower but have no problem MAKING HIM INTERACT DIRECTLY WITH THE ASSEMBLY AND THE SANATORIUM.

Sibling: And here's my thought regarding that... He can change the tower. When he doesn't need those rooms anymore, he will change them. As he has for his friends. That's a sign of healing. It's a scar that will heal, and that he has power over.

Me: Yes, yes, exactly! And the thing about it is... It's like photos, you know? And no one can actually hurt him in that space.

Sibling: He doesn't have the power over his place of abuse. Old photos can be used to safely address old trauma... walking into the torture-prison and whining about the people you hurt in there is just...

Me: ... It reminds me of the sequence in Tales of Berseria, where they torture Velvet simply by revealing hidden knowledge about the past to her, or Tales of the Abyss, where Luke finds out he was made to do something horrible and it breaks his ego. They are literally putting Caleb into situations where something like that could happen to him every time he meets Astrid or Trent or goes to a place where he will be triggered. I mean full-on total mental breakdown.

Sibling: Honestly? that's what I am expecting and it still could happen.

Me: All it would take is some sort of reveal about those eleven years. Or that night. Or something... and he could just shatter to pieces, and they haven't seemed to have even considered that. It's unbelievable. I'm terrified of a "You destroyed the pillar that supported Akzeriuth.  You committed more atrocities you can’t even fathom" moment for Caleb. ;_;

Sibling: stop, god, I can't I would literally have a meltdown like this if Caleb was forced to regress because he wouldn't regress like Beauregard... he would regress, like any abused child to being hurt again.

Me: But we don't know WHAT THEY DID TO HIM... Not fully. I mean the asylum, too, because it's not just that they could have done anything to him in that place. It's that they could have MADE HIM DO THINGS.

Sibling: They abused him, experimented on his body with residuum, and broke his mind. Why would any of that have stopped, when he was literally at Trent's summer house?

Me: And worse still, Trent has ALREADY TRIED TO CAUSE SUCH A BREAKDOWN. He tried to blue-screen Caleb repeatedly at the dinner with comments about his parents. We ALREADY KNOW that he wants to provoke some sort of breakage in Caleb, so why, WHY would you pressure Caleb to go back to that place?!

Sibling: Not to mention, (fucking IDIOTS) THAT ASTRID SENT HIM THERE. SHE WORKS WITH TRENT. SHE WANTS CALEB OUT OF THE WAY. What better way to do it than another 11 years to plan?

Me: She told him Trent wasn't there, too. :-/ Now, that still might have been true in that... he might have been called to the place, but I doubt it.

Sibling: What I want to be said... nvm, I'll actually save that for therapy lol. That's too deep and I don't wanna type that out. That's the problem with characters with trauma: what you want for them might hit too close to home LMAOAOOO. Hurts your heart, especially when it's glossed over.

Me: Caleb getting justice shouldn't necessitate his trauma being rubbed in his face 24/7.

Sibling: TRUE. Truest goddamn thing I ever heard. Especially if his choice is to be done with it.

...........

We didn’t really touch on Yasha, who has actually been a good influence on Caleb, imo, and there were other things we could have talked about that are related to this subject, but *shrug*

Anyway, this conversation mostly came from a place of hurt.  It’s frustrating to see characters who claim to love a traumatized character consistently, thoughtlessly behave in ways that are hurtful to that character, and in often brazenly selfish ways.  We’re not saying you can’t like characters who do that... this conversation was actually prompted by frankly hurtful posts with respect to Caleb’s mental state.

Also sorry for those who are unfamiliar with Tales of the Abyss/Tales of Berseria.  Both of these video games have traumatized protagonists and both games explore their growth (or decline) as a result of that trauma, and were useful in our discussion for making my point.

.

Edit: Okay, so the first comment I got was someone saying that I’m allowed to think what I want but they don’t want to see it.  If you’ve read this far, I hope you noticed that this post criticized that sort of attitude... IN THE CHARACTERS OF CR... It’s bad to pressure a person into exhibiting their trauma in a way that makes normies “comfortable,” so of course the first responder to the post decided to prove just that.  I deleted that comment... but not before doing what they wanted, like people like me and characters like Caleb almost always end up doing anyway.  Thanks for that. I can see why my post upset that poster. *rolls eyes*

#critrole spoilers #critical role #critrole #spoilers #critical role 127 #caleb widogast #fjord stone #jester lavorre #caduceus clay #beauregard lionett #trent ikithon #essek thelyss #abuse #trauma #meta #autonomy #calianna #relevant tag removed upon request

[sage-nebula]

My problem with the “let the adults handle things" is that the protagonist and Hop are just okay with that and actually listen? kids aren't like that?? In every other story with children and main characters they get told stuff like that but still don't listen anyways and actually works and save the day. But the real reason is that it was probably the original plan but the game got rushed and had to scrap it and cut corners

This might come as a shock, but kids are people, and therefore aren’t a monolith. “Kids don’t listen and wouldn’t be okay with that” isn’t a statement that can be made with 100% accuracy because just like all adults are different, all kids are different. Some kids will stomp their feet and throw tantrums when they’re told no. Others will accept it. It depends on the individual child, as well as the circumstances involved.

As for these specific children and circumstances:

The primary time that Leon and Sonia say “let the adults handle this,” Hop wasn’t actually present. He shows up after the cutscene has already unfolded. Even if he had been, Hop hero worships Leon. He wants to surpass Leon because surpassing him means being just like him. He’s crushed after battling Bede not because he lost, but rather because Bede tells him that he’s making Leon look bad. Hop apologizes to Leon the next time he sees him. What all this means is that if Leon tells Hop to do something, Hop is 99.9% likely to do it. If Leon says, “Stay back and let me handle this,” Hop will. This is evidenced by how, even though Hop runs past Raihan and others to get to Leon in the climax of the story, he at first hangs back and lets Leon handle Eternatus, confidently telling the player that Leon can do it. It’s only when Leon fails and is injured that Hop steps up to battle Eternatus alongside the player, Zacian, and Zamazenta. So yes, it makes perfect sense that Hop would listen to Leon because Hop hangs on Leon’s every word and has since he was very small. He trusts and believes in his brother implicitly and, even after deciding to cheer for the player in the Championship match, later confides that he didn’t really think the player was capable of defeating Leon.

As for the player, they have no personality outside of what you give them. For me, I’ve been playing Pokémon games since 1998. I’m absolutely beyond tired of having to save everyone’s asses because the PokéWorld can’t go two years without facing another crisis. I don’t want to be the hero anymore. I don’t want to be the Champion anymore. I was exhausted at having to be the Champion in Alola. This isn’t a job that appeals to me, it’s not one that I want. So if Leon and Sonia say, “Go continue your adventure, we’ll handle this,” my response is, “Thank fucking god” because that means I can fuck back off into the wilderness and continue exploring. I don’t want it to be my job to clean up whatever bullshit mess Chairman Rose or any other villain has caused. I am here to explore lands I’ve never seen before, to catch and train and play with monsters, and battle alongside them in battles I choose to participate in, too. That’s all I want to do. Any other bullshit is just a giant pain in the ass that pulls me away from what I’d rather be doing. And since I feel that way, the player character in my games feels that way, too. After all, when I play, the player character isn’t actually a kid. She’s actually an adult in the body of a kid. But she’ll pretend to be a kid if it means someone else picks up the slack and saves the world for once (even if she ends up having to do it anyway, sigh). She deserves a damn break.

All of that said:

In every other story with children and main characters they get told stuff like that but still don't listen anyways and actually works and save the day.

That’s exactly why it’s refreshing that this wasn’t the case in Sword & Shield. I mean, yeah, the player had to intervene anyway because that’s just how video games work, but it was nice that for once in this series’ history the adults actually tried to do something. The only other time this has happened was in Black & White, wherein the Gym Leaders and Alder stepped up to make a stand against Team Plasma. Otherwise, the adults are 100% useless in every single game, even the ones where the villain is threatening genocide, and as an adult myself, I really hate that. Sure, kids need stories where people their age are being heroes, absolutely. But when adults don’t even try, and instead happily leave everything on the shoulders of a child, I get aggravated. It shouldn’t be up to actual children to save the world, and it was so refreshing to see a Pokémon game where that was recognized, and where the Champion himself was seriously injured trying to make sure that didn’t happen.

Lastly:

But the real reason is that it was probably the original plan but the game got rushed and had to scrap it and cut corners

Yes, Sword & Shield had a limited development time that led to some things getting cut (such as the National Dex, tragedy though that is), just as every game since Gen VI has. However, I can confidently say that this is not one of them because of the characters involved.

Sonia has, in my opinion, one of the richest characterizations and most realistic stories out of almost any other Pokémon characters from the games. At the start of the game, she’s in her twenties and has no idea what she’s doing with her life. She’s retired from battling after dropping out of the Gym Challenge in her youth, but she dropped out of the Gym Challenge because she lacked the confidence to face the obstacles it presented, not because she wanted to do something else. The fact is, Sonia doesn’t really know what she wants to do. We know that she went to school at one point (her fake assistant in the post-game mentions that Sonia does have a doctorate), but she doesn’t have any actual research she’s working on. Instead, she’s a self-appointed assistant for her grandmother, even if what she does is mostly just meander around the lab . . . reading or organizing materials, I guess.

But after her grandmother gives her a kick in the pants and tells her to go find something she wants to do, she manages to do just that. She finds something that ignites her curiosity and her passion, something that makes a difference in her life at the very least, and possibly the lives of everyone in Galar. She finds her confidence, her drive, and her purpose. At the end of the game she’s the new regional professor, more sure of herself and her place in the world. And as someone who only just very recently left my 20s, I can say that Sonia’s story in this regard is very, very Millennial. Most twenty-somethings have no idea what they’re doing with their lives. And while they probably won’t figure it out as quickly as Sonia did (I’m still working on it myself), her struggles are very relatable and real. It’s clear that a lot of thought went into her character and her writing. Game Freak gave her a lot of love.

With all of that said though, Sonia being hyper-aware that she is an adult while Hop and the protagonist are kids is something that is present from the very beginning. She brings it up when you first reach the wild area, for instance. She makes it known that she has more experience and that she is therefore watching out for you and for Hop (particularly since Leon frets over Hop, as Sonia also points out). Sonia telling the protagonist to just keep enjoying the Gym Challenge while she looks into things is 100% in character for her. It’s characterization present from the start.

And the same goes for Leon. Leon, who became Champion at age 10, and therefore has had to shoulder the burden of being Galar’s Champion for over a decade, knows exactly what it is to have too much responsibility at too young an age. Sonia notes that Leon “practically raised [Hop]” (which is odd given they have a mom and at least one grandparent, but nonetheless), and also that he worries about him constantly. I believe Raihan says something along the same lines. And we see this from Leon as well, with him questioning you about what was going on with Hop when he runs into you in Hammerlocke after Hop’s battle against Bede, and then talking about how he’s going to seek Hop out to talk to him again. Leon doesn’t want Hop to so much as feel bad, much less be in actual danger, even setting aside the fact that Leon feels greatly responsible for the safety and happiness of everyone in the Galar region and therefore feels that it is his responsibility as Champion to face any threat to any of that head on. (Which, it is his responsibility as Champion to face threats to the region, but Leon takes it too far in that he feels he’s responsible for everyone’s happiness as well, which in turn contributes to how unhappy he actually is being Champion). So considering the fact that Leon is very protective of Hop and feels strongly that it is his duty as Champion to deal with any burden Galar faces, it is 100% in character for him to wave you off with a smile as well. That’s not a “we cut this corner because of time,” this is a, “We understand the character we’ve created and we’re staying true to him.”

So, to summarize: I disagree with everything you said. Goodnight. 

#pokemon #professor sonia #champion leon #meta #Anonymous

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 3 (I Wanna Know)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, genocide mentions, runaways, mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, crying, mentions of death, mentions of violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Your girl is in some serious fucking pain but she managed to get another chapter out because she couldn’t sleep! So low and behold, I give you a decent chapter for DK

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Hearts Club Master List

Chapter 3: I Wanna Know

You were in heat for a few more days. Seokmin stayed with you the whole time and took care of… your every need. Though he looked worn out, he didn’t complain once. He liked that you let him help you. And he was hoping now that your heat was over, you’d let him in a bit more.

Your legs felt like jello, your hair looked like a birds nest, your skin was covered in variously healed bruises. You were a mess. But it was still time to go back to the pack. You made a promise and you always followed through with your promises, even if you were in a horny induced daze when you made it. You were just hoping they wouldn’t know, or at least, wouldn’t make a big deal out of what had happened.

Seokmin helped get you back to your feet and get dressed, putting your arms through your tank top and putting you in your shorts one leg at a time. He had already managed to get himself together as he had woken up earlier than you had. He figured you’d be in worse shape than him after everything… everything you’d been through and he wanted to be sure you were as okay as possible before you started your journey back home.

“There we go, all done!” He chirped after finally buttoning the last button on your jean shorts.

He took a step back to look at you. Aside from the bruises, you physically looked pretty normal now that he had helped you tame your ridiculously tangled hair. But he knew the pack was gonna smell you. You smelled like him from the week of animalistic sex sessions you two had been having due to your heat. It was unavoidable. He knew they’d all know you two slept together the second you walked through the door. He just wasn’t sure how you’d react to their inevitable and unavoidable teasing.

You quickly looked down after you had seen your reflection in one of your buckets of water, “I look like a walking disaster.” You muttered.

“It’s not THAT bad…,” He failed miserably at reassuring you, “But it doesn’t matter anyways, we’re mates. It doesn’t matter if we slept together or not. We would have eventually anyways” Seokmin tried to reason, bringing himself to walk up to you and hold your small hands in his large ones hesitantly.

“They’re all gonna make fun of me.” You pouted at him, looking down at your feet and smiling a bit in embarrassment.

You had never really taken the time to look at him before your whole mating fiasco happened. You had done literally everything in your power to avoid him at all costs so you wouldn’t catch feelings for him. But now that you had spent a good portion of time alone with him, you realized just how much bigger than you Seokmin was. He always seemed so… subservient around the pack that you never really gave his physical appearance much thought when it came to size. He must’ve been almost a foot taller than you, and now that you had seen him shirtless and naked, you also knew just how much muscle he actually had. He was MUCH larger than you had thought. Even his feet looked like they could crush yours with one fast stomp.

He held back a giggle at your cuteness before he spoke up, “They won’t make fun of yoooou. Especially because you could EASILY beat most of them to a bloody pulp with your special wolfie powers and all.”

“Aya! They’re not special ‘wolfie powers.’ They’re just my normal powers. And it’s not my fault you guys are more diluted forms than me.” You chuckled, playfully smacking his toned chest with your hand.

He cocked his head to the side at your statement, “Is that how it works? The longer the line the less of a wolf you are?” He asked curiously while bringing the back of your hand up to his lips and giving it a chaste kiss.

You almost laughed out loud at his question before you remembered that he didn’t grow up with other werewolves. He was a bitten wolf, not genetically a wolf. You remembered that Seungcheol had told you that no one in his family had ever been a wolf before him. He probably had no clue how it all worked, especially since his pack wasn’t always the best help when it came to educating each other on important matters. You felt a little guilty for thinking he was just being sort of dumb. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know anything about it. So you held back your little outburst and nodded instead.

“Yeah basically. I mean, most genetic lines now can still obviously transform, but they’re still not…” You tapped your chin with your index finger for a moment while thinking of the correct words to explain what you meant, “As much of a wolf as me.” You decided.

Your mate was watching you intensely, listening to every word you said closely, as if he was learning the most important information he’d ever need to know,“I’m honestly probably more wolf than I am human. But most modern day wolves are more human than wolf, that’s why it’s relatively easy for them to assimilate into human societies and blend in.” You informed him, the both of you gathering the rest of your things and making your way out the cave to the path leading back to the forest.

“But hiding our eyes isn’t always easy!” He interjected with enthusiasm you found oddly cute, “If we get too emotional, the potions disintegrate and our real eye color shows. So it’s not really SUPER simple with us.” Seokmin responded, grabbing your hand closest to him and interlocking your fingers.

For a moment, you wanted to pull away from him and push him for initiating the sudden contact. But you also promised him that you’d give him a chance and that you’d try to be the best mate to him that you could be. Plus, the warmth of his hand felt… kind of nice on yours. So you kept your hands together, giving his fingers an involuntary squeeze that made Seokmin’s face light up.

“I suppose you’re right. But really, as long as a wolf can keep their shit together, they can seem very human. When my people were still around, we were very obviously NOT human. We couldn’t be even if we had tried.” You casually let out, skipping over a large rock in your way.

“What were your people like?” He questioned, genuinely wanting to know what your life was like before you lost everything. His pack had tried to ask you before, but you’d always clam up and make up some excuse to leave the conversations. He was hoping with it just being the two of you, you might actually be okay with sharing some more personal information with him.

You waited a moment before you spoke up. What WERE your people like? It had been so long that you hardly even remembered anythings about them. You usually tried to push away all the thoughts of them because remembering all you lost hurt too much. But when he asked you the question, it was like everything came rushing back to you all at once.

Your family, your tribe, your traditions. You remembered how the tribal elders used to let you sit in on council meetings because your father insisted you needed to know everything there was to know about running the tribe. It made you feel so important when he did that, like you were his pride and joy. You thought about all the times you had sat next to your mom as she cooked up potions and remedies in her old stone cauldron for the healer to use on the sick and injured. She always cared so much about everything and everyone around her, you always loved to help her help people. And you could all but see your 11 big goofball brothers running up to you holding their latest hunting prizes with the most giant toothy grins they could muster. Those dumbasses, they always made the most of life. You missed them so fucking much.

Everything started swirling around your head and it made a huge smile appear on your face with watery eyes at the thought of your early life. Seokmin took notice and felt a bit proud of himself that he had made you that happy, you had never beamed a smile that big before in front of him or his pack.

“My people… they were… they were just-” You paused, “They were just the most amazing family a person could ever ask for.” You started, wiping away a sudden tear that had fallen down the side of your face from the memory of them, hopefully before your mate could notice. Of course, he still saw, but he said nothing because he knew it would upset you.

“They were always just sooooo happy. I remember every night was basically like a huge party. We’d all dance and sing around the campfire, there’d be elders telling stories and offering the young words of wisdom while the parents would scold us for interrupting anytime anything got cool or surprising.” You sadly laughed, “We were all just… one big happy family. Even if I wasn’t actually related to all of them. I can’t really explain the connection I felt to them… it was just as strong as the one I had to my biological family.” You sighed, finally reaching the edge of the forest and finding the proper trail for the both of you to set towards home.

He could hear the pain in your voice as you spoke of your past life. You must’ve really missed them. But there were so many questions he still had. What about your actual family? Did you have brothers or sisters? What kind of life did you have? How did you sleep or eat? Where did you come from? But he knew he shouldn’t ask so many at once, he didn’t want to overwhelm you or hound you with his thoughts all at once. So instead, he asked just one question he knew he should probably know the answer to: “What- What happened to them?”

His words made you halt your movements for a second. Remembering that day wasn’t something you liked to do. In fact, you went to great lengths to avoid the memory. It haunted everything you did. Every minute of everyday was plagued with the thought of their demise. You had nightmares every night. You saw their hallowed faces in every person you met. You smelt ash and burnt flesh more than you smelt anything else. Their screams were still stuck to your mind like gum on the bottom of a shoe. It tore you apart to think of it. But still, you knew he deserved to know. You’d want to know if you were him.

“They were… they were massacred.” You sadly shrugged, biting your lip to keep yourself from letting sobs out. He stroked your hand in his in an effort to soothe your sad soul. You took comfort in his small affectionate touch, it grounded you and pulled your tortured mind back down to the conversation you were having.

You took in a deep breath, “It was just any other day, at least, to me it was,” you gulped before you continued, “I was helping my mom with some new herbal remedies for some of our sick warriors when suddenly we heard this loud BANG. My mom wasn’t a wolf, in fact, back then no female was. Well, no female but me that is, but that’s beside the point,” you shook your head and tried to get yourself back on the topic at hand.

“I could feel the vibration under my feet. It was a cannon, but we didn’t know that then. They weren’t really used in our part of the world, they’d freeze in the cold weather and couldn’t always light at the altitude that my village was set on. But somehow, the Cossacks found a way to make them work… they always found a way…” you stated flatly, looking up to the sky out of respect for your fallen family.

“They were upset that my pack had killed some of their soldiers that had hurt a group of women in a neighboring tribe. So they punished us the only way they knew how: by brutally murdering everyone and setting everything they could on fire. Fire’s one of the few ways Icyan wolves can actually be killed. They killed almost everybody. As far as I know, Cyrus and me were the only ones who got out.” You swallowed back the lump stuck in your throat as you and Seokmin continued onward to your destination.

Now this question really worried him, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted answers to it. But he, again, wanted to know more about you and how you got to him. He’d figure it out eventually, might as well try to get it out of you today while he had you going already.

“Can you- can you tell me a bit about him…?” He almost whispered, afraid to say it any louder as he didn’t want to upset you.

“W-What?” You asked for clarification.

“I- I Wanna Know more about… him… Can you tell me about him?” Seokmin stuttered out. He was still unsure if he should’ve said it to begin with, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know more about the man who had you crying constantly over him.

You turned your head to look at him, “About who? Cyrus?” A bit of fear crossed your face as you attempted to confirm what he asked.

“Y-Yeah. He was your mate. And Jun kind of explained what you told him had happened to him the other day, but I don’t know much about him. Like how you two got out. Or why he died…” He looked you in the eyes and say that tears and immense sadness had began to pool in them, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I just figured… that it would be better to get it out in the open now…” Seokmin bit his lip as he waited for your reaction/response.

“Cyrus was… Cyrus. He is- was… my best friend.” You sighed defeatedly out loud before you continued, “He always took care of me. He imprinted on me right after I was born, so he was always there for me.” You started, still trying to find the right words to emphasize what he meant to you. But it was hard, you weren’t very touchy feely like Seokmin was. Feelings were all new to you, so you weren’t sure how to share them aloud.

You didn’t want to upset Seokmin by speaking too fondly about your past mate, but you also couldn’t help the pang in your heart you felt Everytime you heard Cyrus’s name. Part of you wanted to never speak of him again, another part of you wanted to never shut up about him. Your mind was full of conflict but your heart was full of sorrow. How could you possibly ever forget Cyrus enough to have a new mate? How could you ever emphasize how important he was to you when Seokmin, your current lover, was holding your hand? How were you supposed to pick and choose such things when your heart was pleading for a break?

“Wait- he imprinted on you right when you were born? I didn’t know that was possible…” he lost steam towards the end of his sentence and started to mumble while rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Oh no! It wasn’t like that!” You stopped him before he could get any further, “See, Icyan wolves start to shift really soon after birth, like only a month or two after. So it basically means that we’re able to phase our entire life. Cyrus was only five years older than me. He acted like an older brother to me until I hit 16 ish. But that’s when it all went wrong…” You held back a whimper that was threatening to spill past your lips.

“But the day everyone was killed, my dad and the other wolves came to defend out den. I was hiding in the hut while my mom was trying to do a protection spell. But they had killed most of our warriors already when they tried to save their families. We’re very protective of the ones we love” you sniffled slightly, still trying to hold your emotions back but obviously failing miserably.

“Cyrus came to find me after his family was killed. It was his instinct to protect me first, even though he loved his parents, they had each other still. And I was his mate, that’s how we work, mates and children before anyone else. He came into our home and tried to comfort me. We all thought we were gonna die. They had already killed my brothers by the river bank, it broke my parents. They saw red. But they knew I was still alive. So, before the Russians stormed our hut, my dad told Cyrus to take me and run as far as possible for as long as possible, so he did. After that, we were alone, but we had each other. It was like that for a few years. But then… I turned 16 and everything went to hell.” Your lip trembled and quivered with guilt.

Your current mate whined at your sadness, he wanted to help you, but he knew there was nothing he could say or do to make you feel better. So he just kept rubbing the back of your petite hand and giving you his full undivided attention. You had heard his whine, but you knew it was just because you were upset, so you gave him a small depressed smile before you kept speaking.

“Well you know that he- well that he’s obviously dead. Otherwise we couldn’t have imprinted on each other. But I’m sure you want to know… why he died” you mustered up all the courage you could before finally explaining it all to him, “He saved me. I fucked up. I was spotted by some towns people and he took the fall so they wouldn’t take me instead. Our wolf forms were similar. All Icyan wolves are white, we can just have different patterns to us. The villager that spotted me didn’t see the black spot on my head, he just saw a huge white wolf. They followed me back to our den and they were met with him. He refused to let me go. He was a telepath and he was an alpha. He ordered me to hide and he told me he loved me before he gave himself up to the angry mob.” You stopped walking and let the tears brimming your eyes freely fall.

Seokmin stood in front of you playing with your hair sweetly, trying to give you something to ground yourself and distract you from your heartache. It killed him to see you that way.

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t refuse his order. He was- he was my alpha. So I had to stay and watch them take him back to their town. I left after that to try and find him, he never told me that I couldn’t. But by the time I got there- they- they-” you sobbed out while bringing your shakey hands to your face, “They had already started torturing him. There had been reports of two huge wolves in the area and they thought he would lead them to me if they hurt him enough. But he never did.” Seokmin pulled you into his chest as you cried, barely able to breathe as you convulsed into loud whimpers and wails.

“I- I felt everything. Every cut they made, every punch, every hit. Because I’m of my shaman bloodline, I felt everything he felt, I- I’m an empath. He figured out I was in the crowd and just kept telling me that he loved me telepathically. That it wasn’t my fault. But- But how could it not be- be my fault?” You stuttered as you gripped onto Seokmin’s shirt for dear life, “I got him killed!” You all but screamed, crying into your mate’s chest so hard he was worried you’d pass out.

Seokmin just let you cry. He couldn’t imagine the guilt and pain you must have been feeling. He just held you and shushed you and told you that everything would be okay. But how could you be okay? You lost everyone in the most awful ways possible. No wonder you didn’t want him around before. If he were you, he wouldn’t either. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk losing MORE people.

He knew you thought it was your fault, but it wasn’t. If the roles were reversed, he knew you would’ve done the same thing as Cyrus. Just like he always knew that if push came to shove, he’d do the same exact thing your past mate had done to save you. You were his whole world, he’d never let anything or anybody hurt you if he could help it. He’d defend you with his very last breath if it meant you got even a second longer to live.

-

After a while, your breathing evened out and your sobs became just tears. Seokmin pulled you back up from his torso to look you in the glistening eyes. He quickly wiped away any water that had streamed down your face in the process. He really wanted to just kiss all your tears away, but now wasn’t the time for that.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). I wish I could take away your pain. But I can’t. The best I can do is promise you that I’ll always be here for you.” He assured you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears.

“Even if I start crying over my dead mate?” You tried to sound sarcastic, but you honestly felt too weak to. It probably came out as more of a whine to him.

“Even if you start crying over him. Or if you miss him. Or even if you just want to talk about him. Or any of them. It’s okay. I understand and I’m here for you, no matter what.” He pecked your nose softly and gave you the most loving eyes you had ever seen.

You couldn’t help but pull him into a sweet, thankful kiss, attempting to show him how grateful you were for him with your actions rather than your words that always seemed to fail you. Once you pulled back, you realized just how tired you were. Seokmin seemed to pick up on it to because, suddenly, you were in his arms being carried through the woods bridal style. You gave him a look of uncertainty, he just nodded at you and gave you a loving smile, signaling that he would be okay to walk back the rest of the way to the house with you in his arms.

You wanted to protest it all for his sake, but your eyelids felt too heavy. So instead, you just snuggled your now swollen face into his chest and let the darkness take over, feeling safe in his arms and knowing he would never let anything bad happen to you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe everything would be okay.

(Updated 9/17)

#seventeen #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt au #seventeen x reader #svt seokmin #seokmin imagines #seokmin x reader #seokmin angst #seventeen seokmin #dokyeom #svt dk

[awanderingdeal]

Chapter two of ‘Three of a Kind’ - A Nalexy and O’Knutzy fic. 

Rating: Explicit 

This is the chapter where Logan and Kasey cause a bit of chaos at dinner - all in good fun, of course! There is a little sauciness in this chapter but it’s very mild in comparison to chapter 1, the link to which is here if you need to catch up.

Thank you to @bkfstclubmember for betaing this, you incredible human being.

And as always, @lumosinlove thank you so very much for creating these characters and this universe and for allowing us to run wild with them. 

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Despite the several hours of sleep that Alex had achieved the previous night, he still found himself exhausted as he took a seat at the large dining table.

Finn raised an eyebrow at the yawn that escaped Alex’s mouth. “Boring you already, big brother?” he smirked, uncorking a bottle of wine and placing it on the table. “Help yourselves. Or there’s beer in the fridge if you’d prefer.”

“You, bore me? Never.” Alex bantered, pouring for both Natalie and Kasey before filling his own glass. “These two just wear me out.”

Finn grimaced, almost choking on the sip of wine he had taken. “There are certain things that I do not need to know, thank you very much.” 

“I didn’t mean that!” Alex protested, flashing a glare at Natalie and Kasey as they failed to hide their laughter. “I just meant that we’ve been busy today! Basketball, shopping, helping Nat film her next video…”

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” Leo interrupted as he sauntered into the room. “Food will be ready in ten minutes,” he added whilst placing the stack of plates that he had been carrying into the centre of the table.  

Alex rolled his eyes, a habit that had been happening with increasing frequency since he’d started spending more time with Natalie, “Thanks for the back-up, Knut.” 

Leo grinned at Alex before turning to the other O’Hara, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Stay, catch up with your brother,” he said, pre-empting the offer of help from his boyfriend. 

Before Finn could argue, Kasey had pushed back his seat and stood up, “I can help carry stuff. I’m strong,” he said, sending Alex an entirely indiscreet wink and enjoying the blush that crept over his cheeks.

 “I don’t even want an explanation. Just come and be useful.” Leo raised an eyebrow, leading his fellow goalkeeper back towards the kitchen. 

The conversation fell into a comfortable rhythm; general life updates, small complaints about work, gentle teasing about relationships. Finn tried to avoid the last one because he was outnumbered but he found Leo and Logan’s names constantly falling from his lips. 

He told Natalie about the time that they were on a vacation in France and their parents were frantic because they had lost five year old Alex. They found him in a cupboard eating a baguette that was “as tall as he was.” 

“I don’t know why you have to constantly tell that story?” Alex questioned, his arm slipping from around Natalie’s shoulder as he became more animated. “You would have been...what, six months old? You don’t even remember it happening.”

Finn was about to reply when Leo’s voice from the kitchen grabbed his attention, “ Don’t you dare, Tremz.” 

Finn could just imagine the slow smirk growing across Logan’s face and he couldn’t resist the urge to witness the exchange that was about to happen. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he said, expecting Natalie and Alex to stay at the table, but they were right behind him as he hurried to the other room. 

As they arrived, Logan dragged his finger out of his mouth, lips smacking together with a dramatic moan. “It’s so good.” he smirked, his eyes never leaving Leo’s. 

Finn quickly put  together the scene before him.  Leo’s exasperated expression. The dent in the macaroni cheese. Logan’s grin. 

Leo paid no attention to the crowd that had gathered in the doorway. He quietly placed the oven gloves down on the counter, rounded the island, leaned into Logan’s ear and whispered. Finn couldn’t make out the words, but the tap on Logan’s butt gave him a good idea of what had been said and his eyes widened at the thought. Logan, however, didn’t even blush. He just gave a nod before reaching for the dish of macaroni. 

Leo smacked at his hands. “Nope, you can take the salad.” 

He turned to Kasey, “And you, stop encouraging him.” he chastised lightly, placing a bowl of green beans into one of Kasey’s giant hands and the coleslaw in the other. 

“I can take two, as well,” Logan objected.

Leo pushed him gently in the direction of the door. “How about you concentrate on getting to the table without eating all the food first, huh?” 

As the pair made their way out the room, Kasey stopped placing a kiss on Natalie’s lips. “Hey, gorgeous,” he smiled, giving Alex a kiss as well when he whined, dropping a whispered comment that Finn thankfully did not hear. 

Still, he proclaimed loudly, “Lalalala, I can’t hear you,” shuddering dramatically at the end of his words. 

Natalie rolled her eyes at Finn’s dramatics, took Alex’s hand and returned Kasey’s kiss on his cheek, “Come on, troublemaker, you’re supposed to be making Leo’s life easier.”  

Finn returned the stuck out tongue that Alex gave him as he retreated from the room before making his way over to Leo and pulling him into a hug. “Hey Nutter Butter, you okay?”

Leo leaned into the hug, leaning his head on Finn’s, “Yeah, you know Lo. He doesn’t mean any harm. Also, I promised to make it worth his while later if he behaves so you know…” he replied, letting a small laugh slip into his words. 

“You know that is just going to make him worse, right?” Finn snorted, bumping Leo’s chin lightly as he looked up. 

“I do.” Leo nodded, giving Finn a cheeky glance as he reluctantly pulled away from his boyfriend. “Can I trust you with the mac ‘n’ cheese?” he asked jokingly as he placed the dish into Finn’s hands. 

“I don’t know,” Finn chuckled, “It smells fucking amazing.” 

“Always with the compliments.” Leo smiled gently, dropping a kiss to Finn’s hair before picking up the last two serving dishes - bourbon soaked ribs and potato salad. “Go on, before they think we’re up to no good in here.” 

Finn led the way into the dining room, putting his dish down with a grin knowing they had approximately 3 seconds until -

“What the hell?” Logan began, his tone far less aggressive than his actual words. “ So Finn gets to carry the macaroni, but I can’t?” 

Finn was about to chirp back at Logan when Leo added his platters to the table. “Finn doesn’t stick his fingers in the macaroni on the way,” Leo quipped, taking a seat to Logan’s right.

“This is favouritism.” Logan whined.

“Anyway.” Leo started, not letting himself get baited into the argument, knowing that was exactly what Logan wanted, “Let’s eat, shall we. I know it’s far from dietician approved, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

The next few moments were an organised chaos of serving dishes being passed back and forth around the table, eventually falling into a conversation about the Lion’s latest game. 

“Told you it works.” Alex boasted after Finn recalled the new play that he and Logan had tried for the first time. “You two executed it pretty well though,” he admitted with a smile. 

“Excuse me,” Kasey interrupted with a grin. “I got a shutout. Are we just not going to talk about that? I had to listen to you two shower lover boys in praise for weeks after his.” he moaned.

“You did great, sweetcheeks,” Natalie leaned in, wiping a mess of sauce from Kasey’s lips with her napkin, replacing it with a kiss.  

“Did you not get enough praise that night?” Alex hummed, bumping his shoulder against Kasey’s. 

Finn screeched, “ Nope, no, absolutely not. We will have no talk of you sexing my brother at the dinner table.”

 “Wow, O’Hara 2.0,” Natalie placed her wine glass down on the table. “So, that’s how it is, huh? We get to listen to you drone on about your boys for hours at a time, but one mention of Alex’s prowess in bed and all bets are off?”

“See, you get it. This is why you are the brains of the relationship.” Finn replied, before gesturing in Leo and Logan’s direction. “Besides, we are cute.”

“Hmm, I suppose you are.” Natalie cocked her head, “I still think I got the better end of the deal though.”

Suddenly, a piece of bread flew across the table hitting Kasey square in the forehead. “Not such a good goalie, now, huh?” Logan jibbed. 

“That’s not fair!” Kasey whined. “Natalie was being all cute. Do it again.” he encouraged, adjusting his sitting position.

“Absolutely not.” Leo drawled, placing a hand over Logan’s, which was tearing another piece of bread off his roll, “How old are you? Do you need to sit on your hands?” 

Leo realised his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth and Logan’s eyes shined a little brighter. 

“I can sit on my hands, but you’ll have to feed me.” 

Finn bit back a groan, trying to ignore the way his all of his blood seemed to have rushed southwards. He really, really loved the fact that Logan was seemingly shameless sometimes.  

“And we were being inappropriate?” Alex taunted.

“Oh, I can be inappropriate if you want.” Kasey said lowly.

Natalie let out an uncharacteristically high pitched giggle, seconds before Finn felt a brush against his foot. Kasey managed to maintain an expression of perfect innocence for barely ten seconds before a guilty smile replaced it. There might have been a time in previous years where he might have enjoyed the contact a little bit too much, but now any thoughts of Natalie and Kasey were infinitely linked with his brother and it made him feel a little bit nauseous. 

“Are you playing footsie under the table?” Finn groused, lifting the table cloth. 

Leo sat back in his chair and gave a sigh, “How am I the youngest person here and yet the most mature?” 

“Sorry, Leo. The food is great, it really is.” Natalie apologised, sending Kasey and Alex a look. 

“Kasey started it.” Alex grumbled under his breath, but quieted when Natalie’s eyebrow rose. 

“Don’t worry.” Leo waved it off, “I can grab dessert if we’re ready?” he asked the table, receiving a round of nods. “Do you mind getting the plates, Fish?” he asked, smiling at the eager nod that he got in reply. 

“Lo, come help me?” he added, squeezing Logan’s shoulder affectionately as he got up from the table. 

Once Leo was out the room, Natalie waved a hand in Finn’s direction, “Cover your ears if you’re going to get all dramatic.” 

Finn shoved his seat back, grabbing the pile of plates that he had made. “Just give me ten seconds to get out the room, please?” he pleaded. 

“Don’t behave...beg…” Finn only caught a few words as he was leaving, but the quiet groans from Kasey was still too much.

His thoughts of bleaching his brain were dismissed when he reached the kitchen. Logan was pressed up against the counter, Leo’s hand shoved down his pants, their faces inches apart.

“Oh hey, sweetheart.” Leo greeted, his hands playing idly with Logan’s balls drawing a whimper from the shorter boy. “I was just explaining to Logan that what happens later is entirely up to him and that he might want to check his behaviour,” Leo worked a mark into the expanse of skin on Logan’s neck in between words.

“I love my life,” Finn murmured quietly, taking a breath before making himself move. He wasn’t sure how he managed it, but he was able to put the stack down onto a counter without dropping them from his shaking hands. He contorted his features into something resembling relaxed as he leaned his weight against the marble work surface. “I’m sure Logan will be very well behaved from now on. Right, Lo?” 

Logan’s curls bounced at the side of his snapback with his nods, “Yes, I’ll be good. I promise,” Logan gasped out. 

Leo kissed Logan firmly on the lips, did his boyfriend’s pants button up and stepped away. “Let’s try and get through dessert without scaring our guests then, yeah?” 

“I think he’ll have to work a bit harder if that’s the goal. Those three are worse than us.” Finn laughed and then shuddered as he realised that his brother was included in ‘those three’.

“Not helping, Finn,” Leo shot back, grabbing the small glasses of panna cotta out of the fridge. “Allez. Come on,” he added, once he’d checked that Logan and Finn had mostly recomposed themselves. 

The three of them made their way back to the dining room to find Alex sat in Kasey’s lap, lips nuzzling his cheek and Natalie’s eyes crinkling with laughter. 

“I will never unsee this,” Finn groaned, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. “Can you make out somewhere that isn’t my house?” 

“We are not making out,” Kasey scoffed, “But maybe we should make that happen? For accuracy’s sake.”

“Who invited you, again?” Finn questioned, automatically reaching to take the tray from Leo, but received a shake of his head and a quiet, “I’ve got it thanks, Fish”

“I’m down for you making out, if we can make out.” Logan piped up, when Leo leaned over his shoulder to place his dessert in front of him. 

“So much for good behaviour,” Leo remarked, taking the final glass for himself and putting the empty tray into the centre with the rest of the empty serving dishes.

 Probably should have cleared those too, Finn thought, but in his own defence he’d been otherwise occupied. 

“This is actually a recipe that Logan suggested, so if it’s disgusting then you can blame him.” Leo started to explain the dessert. “It’s a vanilla panna cotta with a -”

The words were interrupted by a quite frankly obscene groan from Logan who hadn’t waited for the description to be finished before diving into his desert. He looked up sheepishly when he realised that the entire table's eyes were on him. 

“Ok. That was truly an accident,” Logan defended, his accent filtering heavily into the words - a sign that he was actually a bit embarrassed. “The rum jelly is just so good with the vanilla, mon lion.”

Leo coughed a few times, his throat suddenly itchy. “Thanks Lo. I guess that’s the cue for the rest of us to start.”

There was a beat of silence before they all began to eat and the atmosphere relaxed again, the conversation moving quickly between topics. Finn was just getting suspicious of how quiet Logan had become when he began to speak, “Hey! Shall we play truth or dare after we finish? That could be fun with drinks.” 

There was a collective groan followed by a resounding, “No” from everybody except Kasey, whose voice broke through the noise. “I’ll play.” he grinned. “I choose dare.”

“This is how people end up in fountains, Kasey!” Finn waved his hands about, a bit of panna cotta flying off the spoon he was holding and landing on Leo’s t-shirt. He didn’t think it was that funny, but Logan and Kasey practically had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard.

“Sorry,” Finn apologised quickly, picking up his napkin to dab at the offending mark. 

Leo patted his hand against Finn’s, “Hey, it was an accident. Leave it, it’ll come out in the wash.” he reassured before looking up, his eyes meeting Natalie’s, “I don’t think we’ll be playing any games after dinner, I’m afraid. My mama would probably scold me for chucking you out but it’s been a long day. I hope you understand.”

Natalie flicked her hair back off her shoulder, “Of course, darling. That’s not a problem. We should be getting off soon, anyway. Early start in the morning, you know.” she smiled in a way that was somehow both completely innocent and yet menacing. 

Despite the fact that they ate their dessert in record time, every second seemed to drag for Finn. He felt a bit guilty that he wasn’t taking better advantage of the time with his brother but he’d see him again soon enough. Besides, he reasoned with himself, Alex was probably just as eager to get home as Finn was to have them leave. The thought was confirmed later as Alex pulled him into a hug as he was leaving murmuring into his ear, “ Enjoy your evening little brother, I sure will.” 

Finn was sure his face had turned a shade of red that matched his hair as he shoved Alex away but despite all the exasperated sighs and groaning, he was glad that Alex seemed to have found the same kind of love that he had. 

#lumosinlove #nalexy #o'knutzy #finn o'hara #Leo knut #logan tremblay #kasey winter #alex o'hara #natalie darcy #food talk

[princessamericachavez]

Fjorester in the Bjreaus talk

It’s yelling about Fjorester hours. I haven’t done this breakdowns in a while but there’s so much to analyze in that Bjreau’s talk and so much subtext and admissions and feelings in Fjord’s explanations that I really need to go step by step

this is mostly focused on the Fjorester side of the conversation because so many people have already broken down the BY in it and maybe i will too later but for now let me focus on my main OTP because wow 

Beau: So…. Jester

Fjord: *pikachu panic*

Fjord: There it comes. I was wondering when that melodic intro was gonna hit. 

Fjord: J-J-Jester?

THE WAY HE STUTTERS HER NAME. IM SO SOFT. 

Beau: You know what I’m gonna ask, dude, right? Like, what’s the deal?

Fjord, still deflecting: when you come with the ‘dude’, yes, I know what you wanna as.

Fjord, getting serious suddenly: What? What about Jester?

THAT’S THE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT ON UR CRUSH AND UR TRYING TO PLAY IT COOL BUT YOU’RE FREAKING OUT ENTIRELY

I MEAN THAT SMILE

Beau: 

Fjord:

Beau:

THEY BOTH KNOW. THEY ARE JUST DARING THE OTHER TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. 

Beau, finally giving in: You know how she feels about you. Or, at least, how she did. I don’t know if she still does.

*Fjord, immediately, starts touching his mouth in that nervous mannerism he always has when his image insecurities are brought up, like he wants to hide his tusks*

*i start quietly sobbing*

Fjord: I don’t either! I have no idea. 

DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING ABOUT FJORD, AFTER 108 EPISODES, ACKNOWLEDGING ALL THE FLIRTING JESTER USED TO DO AND THE FACT THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM EVEN IF HE DOESN’T KNOW IF THAT’S STILL THE CASE?

HE’S NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED THAT BEFORE

Fjord: I’m actually the less clued in as to how Jester feels. I actually tried to… ask, but I don’t know. 

WHEN FJORD? YOU HAVEN’T ASKED. SO WHEN DID YOU TRY? WHEN DID YOU WANT TO AND DIDN’T? WHAT CONVERSATION WAS YOU CAREFULLY TRYING TO SEE IF SHE STILL LOVES YOU? I NEED ANSWERS

Beau: You have to kinda be direct with Jester. Like, if you tried to side-step it-

Fjord: I get that. It’s just that there are more pressing matters at hand

I KNEW HE WASN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING DURING TC BECAUSE SHE’S SO STRESSED ALREADY AND HE WANTS HER TO HAVE HER TIME AND ALL THEIR SUPPORT WITHOUT ADDING STRESS

Fjord: And… I feel like I’m the fourth version of myself since I left Port Damali. And I feel like it could change again in a month or three months. I feel as if the ground is shifting underneath my feet every few nights that I wake up. And it’s crazy, I actually love cause it’s all been for the better, it no matter how crazy it’s been, but what I wanted when this all began is so far in the past I can’t… I forget about it sometimes. It comes for me in the middle of the night. But… Jester is hard to ignore. 

I HAVE (as you might expect) SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE LITTLE MONOLOGUE 

FJORD SUMMING UP SO MUCH OF HIS ARC AND HOW HE’S STILL NOW TRYING TO FIND HIMSELF AND WHO HE REALLY IS AND HOW HE KEEPS CHANGING AND GROWING

but clearly that lack of stability, as much as it thrills him, it also makes him anxious, not knowing who he will be next and what he will believe and what he will want

AN ALLUSION TO HIS DEATH THAT WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT BUT CLEARLY —CLEARLY— IS STILL IN HIS MIND AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADRESS ASAP PLS 

And then, right there after the nod to his death, Jester comes back into the statement. Fjord describes the changes and turmoil in his life like all of that is already too much to also focus on love… and then says but she’s still there, in my mind, by my side, all the time. In that mess of these pasts few months, Jester is his lighthouse

Beau: Yeah, no. I- I know! I’m pretty certain literally everyone has a crush on her. 

Fjord *panics like that Joey meme*: WHAT?

Beau: Like, at least all of Mighty Nein. I don’t know, though, but I’m pretty sure everyone she meets is like ‘well, I’d maybe kill for you, yeah’

Fjord: No, yeah, I totally agree with. 

ME TOO BJREAUS. ME TOO. 

Fjord: No, I- where is she?

I’M SO SAD THAT FJORD MISSED HIS PERCEPTION FOR HER BECAUSE I WONDER WHY TRAVIS WANTED TO KNOW SO BADLY 

I HAVE THE FEELING THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE OTHER THAN BEING CAREFUL SHE WOULDN’T HEAR HIM

Fjord: I... 

LOVE HER? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY FJORD WHAT

THIS PAUSE IS SO LONG IT’S AGING ME

Fjord: You know when someone makes you feel a way that you don’t think you have any right to feel? Or you never thought that you might?

I AM SCREAMING  

FJORD

BABY 

WHY DON’T YOU THINK YOU’RE EVEN ALLOWED TO LOVE HER

WHY NOT??

YOU DESERVE LOVE AND TO BE LOVED AND YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN LOVE HER LIKE PLS TRAVIS WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME ALL THIS PINING MY ROMANTIC ASS CAN’T HANDLE THIS

BUT ALSO LOOK AT THAT SMILE

HE’S SO IN AWE WITH HIS OWN FEELINGS AND HAPPINESS

Fjord: And that feels... off... because I should know how I feel or what I want! 

*low wisdom frustration intensifies*

Fjord: But... there’s a gravity around Jester, at least to me, and she’s the one I’ve known longest in this new part of my... life. And I really thought that when this started there would be an end for me in this, and I would get even or retribution or payback and then I’d be... done. And it hasn’t been that way at all! It shriveled up and died and in its place seven new interests sprouted and... 

[i can’t type the whole Academy thing, im too tired and this is so long already but what a great throwback]

Listen listen listen tho

i wanna talk about this

i wanna talk about fjord noticing jester’s crush and not acting on this because he was convinced the m9 were temporary

i want to talk about a part of him always feeling like this will eventually end and be ripped away from him and how then it kept going and going 

and this woman he met was just such a steady and supportive presence in his life through it all that finally, finally after months, he can’t deny that she’s part of his life for good??

but that also explains what he said before and how he’s afraid that he’ll change again and lose this

like, there’s SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE GUYS SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR EARLY HISTORY AND WHERE THEY STAND NOW

Fjord: I... I... I want Jester to be happy. 

Fjord: I do feel v-v-very strongly for her. 

FJORD LOOK SO FRUSTRATED WITH HIMSELF AS HE —WHO IS KNOWN FOR HIS SILVER TONGUE— STRUGGLES TO PUT INTO WORDS HIS FEELINGS AND KEEPS FREAKING STUTTERING SO MUCH IM SO

Fjord: But I also know, when this began, her affections might have been based entirely on whimsy... I don’t know!

I AM LIVING FOR THIS ANGST

FIRST OF ALL: SECOND CONFIRMATION THAT FJORD NOTICED ALL THE FLIRTING

SECOND OF ALL: HIS INSECURITIES COMING FORTH AND TELLING HIM MAYBE SHE NEVER LIKED HIM ANYWAY

THIRD AND FOREMOST: I FREAKING LOVE THIS TROPE OF PINING SWITCHAROO AND THE WAY THIS REFLECT JESTER’S DOUBTS DURING THE PIRATE ARC ABOUT MAYBE FJORD NOT BEING WHO SHE FIRST MET AND THE WAY THEY KEEP SECOND GUESSING THEIR OWN JUDGMENT OF EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW EACH OTHER THE BEST

AND LISTEN LISTEN IM JUST

this is the perfect parallel to her talk with caleb in darktow ok

and im fucking living for this angst and this doubts and to see fjord yearn for her the way she did for so long 

WHAT A DELICIOUS DYNAMIC 

Fjord: And I don’t really feel like asking, either. I almost don’t wanna... know.

THAT HESITATION DESTROYS ME SO MUCH

FJORD IS SO SCARED TO RUIN THINGS, TO LOSE HER, TO HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT HIS FEELINGS AREN’T RECIPROCATED

but here’s the thing. He’s ok with that. He doesn’t expect her to love him back, doesn’t need her to feel the same way. Fjord is just happy loving her and being her friend and being here to support her and make her happy. That’s enough. 

How selfless is that? How absolutely romantic and painful and heartfelt? 

I love this so much. This love isn’t possessive nor demanding. All he wants, all he really asks for, is the chance to make sure she’s happy and safe. 

He requires nothing in return. Being around her light and showering in her warmth are enough. She’s already given him so much support, he can’t ask more... certainly not love in the way he would want, in the way he would hope, because life has never told him he’s worthy of such thing —not a monster like him— so why would she? 

Fjord: I just like it and, to me, as long as she’s alright...

hOW MANY TIMES BY NOW HAS FJORD SAID IN DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS “as long as she’s alright” “as long as she’s happy” “as long as she’s not getting hurt” “as long as she trusts him” HE KEEPS REPEATING IT LIKE IT’S THE ONE THING THAT TRULY MATTERS TO HIM IN THE WORLD IM-

Fjord: It seems like this is not a permanent... thing. It’s not like we’re gonna leave her in this island and we’re gonna just go off which I was worried about before, but it sounds like it’s all... for show and it might be the Nein again after all this.

HEAR ME OUT

FJORD WAS WORRIED ABOUT JESTER LEAVING

ABOUT JESTER STAYING HERE

ABOUT JESTER TAKING OFF WITH THE TRAVELER AND NOT LOOKING BACK

and we know that was a possibility right?

BUT I THINK BACK TO THE VERY FIRST TIME SHE MENTIONED THIS (iirc it was after the giants fight way back during their second xhorhasian mission) HE SEEMED CONCERNED ABOUT JESTER GOING FOR GOOD. THERE WAS A HESITATION THERE

But really I wanna know how long... how long has Fjord been worried about her leaving, about loosing her... how much of what’s been going on has been him —without saying it— concerned that she’s about to leave the group, how many of their interactions and conversations (”i’m glad you’re here”, “we are happy to have you”, all the talks about disappearing and leaving the sad parts of the world behind) had him secretly concerned that she would soon leave??

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED IN THE LATER HALF OF THE EPISODE

Fjord: and then, I don’t know what. I wanna explore the world! I want to see the lands we haven’t seen! I want to find the things that people are scared of and solve them or do what everyone else needs to do...

Fjord: but....... I- I hope- I hope she’s a part of that

I’M SCREAMING PLS BOY HE’S SO IN LOVE AND ALL BUT CONFESSING IT HELP ME PLS

the way he deflates and gets very quiet and earnest as he admits this????

im sobbing

[im not gonna get on Beauyasha territory because as much as that made me want to scream too this is soooo long already that i feel like that deserves a meta on its own]

i do wanna point out that fjord definitely seemed kinda jealous when Beau started describing her former crush on Jester

Like, he’s so excited to talk about her and Yasha but when Beau brings past feelings into this you can feel a note of panic and defensiveness as he says 

Beau: so I definitely had a crush on Jester, just since we’re drunk and we can be...

Fjord: when you said it before, it was like a thing... you had a real crush on Jester?

Beau: well, she’s so enigmatic, like you said and she just like... she’s got this way... just when she talks...

Fjord: 

Fjord: I’m talking about Yasha! You can go back to Yasha! It’s- uhm-

HE’S SO ANNOYED IM LAUGHING SO HARD

also fun thing

it’s similar to when he’s reacted to the traveler before and jester calling artagan handsome lmfao

im just saying 

and I like that he’s being supportive and he listens and all, even when Beau brings Jester back up... but then he confirms that Beau’s feelings for Yasha are deeper than for Jester and he definitely seems happy with that answer, both for Beau’s happiness (you know Fjord is so excited about these two since forever but especially the way he asks when he turns the tables on Beau he’s so excited for her!) but also because maybe it means one less chance that his own feelings won’t be reciprocated? like an... “alright, so we are good? with this? this is not going to hurt your feelings if i.. if i do love her?” and i think that’s very sweet? like regardless he’s gauging the depth of Beau’s feelings in this regard and I think if she confessed something deeper he would, heartbrokenly, step back and let her have a chance... especially since he’s happy just loving Jester from afar

ANYWAY

I WILL KEEP YELLING ABOUT THIS CONVO IN MY CORNER

AND OTHER MOMENTS THAT I WILL PROBABLY BREAK DOWN LATER

BUT THAT’S ALL FOR NOW

OKAY THAT’S A LOT OF YELLING

bye

#fjorester #fjord stone #jester lavorre #beauregard lionett #critical role #cr spoilers #sofia's nonsense #bjreaus

[amphii-writes]

Hihihi!! I was wondering if you could write a second part to your tsuki angst? I really loved it was amazing 🥺👉👈 anything is fine I just wanna see how everything turns out in the end! :))

I totally didn’t say “pogchamp” out loud when I read this, pfft no wrong person. Anyway, your support and suggestion mean so much to me! (and plus I was thinking of making another part to that story, so this ask just made it concrete) also, falling in love with your best friend is either the best or worst thing ever, no cap. It also helps if you know what Tendou’s song, Baki Baki, translates to in English! It helps a lot- at least comprehension wise.

Part one -->here<--

synopsis: After you met a red-haired boy with a mischievous smile, you decided to befriend him. Now, a couple of months later, it's time for Shiratorizawa and Karasuno to fight. genre: angst, fluffy internal monologue warnings: Swearing, toxic friendships, unrequited love, etc. pairing: Tsukishima & Yamaguchi x F!Reader x Tendou  word count: 2.5k

After what happened at the Karasuno volleyball club, you couldn’t seem to get yourself to go back. Whether it be to support them during practice or a game, you just couldn’t deal with the embarrassment, especially after what Tsukishima did to you. Just imagining the pitiful stares and judging gazes made your heart pound. It also didn’t seem to help that Yamaguchi was pissed off at the taller man. His texts were a punch of rambling rants about how he felt about what happened and how he wished he could’ve stopped both of you from getting hurt. He was always looking out for both of you behind the scenes, a true sweetheart, at least if he didn’t pick up some of Tsukishima’s personality on the way.

On the other hand, the Shiratorizawa team was warm and welcoming as always. They never barged into your business and helped you with learning the ropes: you basically became their cheerleader. When it was finally the game against Karasuno; you decided not just to support your school, but the goofy red-head you met on the street.

Making your way to where the Miyagi prefectural qualifiers were held. The stadium-like building towering just over some of the buildings, with teams heading inside left and right. Mixes of blue, pink, mint green, and the four colors you were looking for: black and orange, then white and purple. You of course spouted some Karasuno merch as you walked over to the team of gentle giants. The first person to notice you were Goshiki. He yelled your name, waved, and then ran up to greet you properly.

“Y/N! Hey! I’m so glad you could make it! We all appreciate you coming- oh and Tendou said-” “Goshiki? What did I say, huh?” the tall male interjected, slumping down to meet your eyes with a smile on his face. “Well,” he stammered, “You said that we’d beat Karasuno! You said that if you saw the tall blonde guy that you’d-” “okay okay Goshiki, calm down! We don’t want our future ace to be too pumped up for the match, do we?” Tendou immediately looked at you “can’t have our guest not see your potential, isn’t that right, Y/N?” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Of course, Tendou does have a point Gohsiki, but thank you for welcoming me!” you smiled brightly at the tall boy “I’ll be over there in a second, go catch up with your team.” and with that, Goshiki ran over to Ushijima and the rest of his team.

“So Tendou, what did you say you’d do to Tsukishima?” you inquired, although a bit mischievously. “Well, I just said I’d taunt him a little bit, nothing wrong with that, right?” he shrugged, “It’s not like I don’t taunt the opposing team a bit anyways, but that Tsukishima kid...” he grumbled, “Makes me wanna play a bit dirty.” “Tendou, you won't have to do that. You're already a wonderful player! Forget about him and make sure that your team wins. Please: don’t get caught up in my business,” You smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

Tendou at this point was enamored by you, how you spoke to him, treated him with respect, and just how sweet you were to him and the team. Sometimes, he would admit that he was jealous of Goshiki due to how often the black-haired boy would steal your attention. He honestly just wanted to see you happy, and when he’d think about what Tsukishima said to you, he’d lose his cool. He honestly had only seen the setter and a short ginger-haired blocker from Karasuno, so he’d never seen Tsukishima before, but from what you’d described, he was tall, blonde, had glasses, and a complete asshole. He knew that once he found out his number he’d make sure that Tsukishima would suffer.

After the first night he met you, he ranted to his team about how horrible that kid must’ve been, who would make a girl cry on purpose? That's absolutely insane! Tendou had accidentally made girls cry due to his looks when he was younger but he never tried to scare them. Tsukishima reminded him of his bullies when he was younger, trying to put everyone down, trying to hurt innocent people, and that made him so much angrier. He didn’t want you to be hurt, he wanted to save you from what he went through.

On the other side of the story was Tsukishima. He hadn’t heard anything from you for a while. He would honestly stick knives in his eyes before ever admitting to the fact that he’s worried about you. Even Yamaguchi called him out on how mean he was, and Tsukishima snapped under the pressure, he opened up to Yamaguchi about his feelings for you and how he wanted them to go away. He knew you didn’t have feelings for him, so why would he confess? To ruin the friendship? He just decided to ignore his feelings, and that meant ignoring you.

With this new information, Yamaguchi saw that you were in quite the love-related mess. Tsukishima and his pride wouldn’t allow himself to be seen as weak to anyone, while Tendou saw Tsukishima as the enemy. Yamaguchi wouldn’t be lying to say that he also had a small crush on you. He never mentioned it, but it wasn’t as big as Tendou’s or Tsuki’s so he just stood by. Yes, he felt a little sad about it but he just wanted his two friends to be happy- and it’s not like Yamaguchi didn’t also have a crush on Yachi. He saw himself as the last resort, and so he’d try his best to have both of his friends at least make up.

You, of course, had to go see your best friend Yamaguchi before the game! even if that meant having to see Tsukishima again, you’d just ignore him. You’ve accepted that he wasn’t going to change for just anybody and that you already had better friends than him, so what’s the point of going back to him?

You were greeted with a surprised Yamaguchi, you could’ve sword his eyes blew up to the size of saucers when he saw you. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if you’d come to this game- he knew you exactly didn’t have a gracious exit after Tsukishima had yelled at you. But, even then, he couldn’t contain his excitement or his voice when he saw you.

“Y/N! You actually came? I’m so glad to see you!” Yamaguchi smiled brightly, he didn’t even have the words to express how happy he was! He was practically beaming at you. “Of course, Yamaguchi! I couldn’t just miss one of the most important games of your season? What kind of friend would I be?” His smile lightly faltered at the sound of you saying “friend” but that didn’t matter! You were here and he needed to make sure he impressed not only you: but his team!

At the sound of your name, of course, the entire Karasuno team whipped their heads around. Their collective thoughts were: “Y/N? Isn’t that the girl who Tsukishima yelled at?” “That poor girl, I’m glad she’s feeling better.” “That pretty girl who gave Tsukishima a plushie?” “The girl that Hinata wouldn’t shut up about for a week?” “The nice girl who gave the team food?” “The pretty girl who gave us food!” and Tsukishima’s thought, “fuck.”

After the team had talked to you well, everyone but Tsukishima you decided to see the Shiratorizawa team again, mostly to say that everything went okay and to remind Tendou not to taunt Karasuno too harshly.

“Hello, Y/N. I’m glad to see you’re cheering for us during the tournament. The team seems very happy to see you, and I am as well.” The booming voice of the one and only Ushijima Wakatoshi making you squeak a bit. Of course, hearing his best friend’s voice greeting you also brought Tendou walking over. “Ah, Thank you Ushijima, it means a lot! I really wanna support you all before your game.”

“Hey! It’s awesome to see ya back? Didn’t you talk to Karasuno? “ He tilted his head and wrapped an arm around you “How'd that go, Miracle-girl?” Of course, he expected your response of: "It went pretty well, I ignored Tsukishima and he ignored me. The team was super nice to me though!"

Tendou was honesty glad you ignored him; but, he didn't give you an apology? He had the perfect time to redeem himself, not only you: but himself, and to Tendou. Now, with this information, he isn't backing down from his plan.

...

It was now mid-game, Shiratorizawa and Karasuno seemed to be on the same level. You were gripping the edge of your seat, torn on who to cheer for. You saw Tsukishima and Tendou right across from each other, the only thing operating them was the thick tension; and of course, the net.

You could practically see the faux smile on Tendou’s face; and before you knew it, he was mocking Tsukishima. “Well, if it isn’t ‘Mr. Vanilla’! Glad to see you’re still on your heartbreak streak!” Tsukishima scowled in response, what is this guy saying? What did he mean? “What are you going on about?” the rude response just meant that Tendou had found the right guy! “Oh, you can’t forget about how you made my Miracle-Girl cry, I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.” The whole court went cold, either with frustration or shame.

Tendou knew how to push buttons, how to make a team crumble at the knees with just a few choice words, and after what this tall asshole did to you, he’d make sure to throw hard verbal punches. He wasn’t going to leave his best friend out of this, he didn’t exactly defend you at all! He just let Tsukishima do whatever he liked to both him and you, Tendou was doing this for the greater good: you.

...

After the game, Shiratorizawa was heartbroken, they lost to the underdog team, so who wouldn’t be upset because of this. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want them to win; they were so nice to you, but this is what they get for underestimating the power of Karasuno.

On the other side of the court, Karasuno was losing their shit. They’ve never been able to go to nationals for the past couple of years, so this means that they finally get to redeem themselves in the eyes of the public!

But for you, this meant dealing with opposite spectrums of emotions from both teams. You decided to go see Tendou first, you could only imagine how he felt. “Tendou, Ushijima, are you okay? I’m worried about you two especially.” you looked up at the two to see their hanging heads, the blank stare coming from Ushijima was absolutely terrifying. He didn’t respond, he just stood there, frozen. Seeing this, you decided that you didn’t want to accidentally anger him and looked to Tendou; he was crying. 

You grabbed him and hugged him, he fell in your arms and just cried for a bit. You rubbed his back as he let out choked sobs, whispering that he was amazing on the court and that he was a winner in your eyes. He looked up at you, eyes puffy and irritated, “You really are my paradise, aren’t you?” he chuckled sadly and took your hands in his. “You have no idea what you mean to me, what your words mean to me... I wish there was a better time to say this but fuck it,” he sighed, “I love you, not in a friendly way, but it’s become more than that. I see you every day, yet I can’t get you outta my head... I remember that day when you were crying on the street, that’s when I fell for you.” He looked back down to our connected hands and rubbed the back of your palms. 

With his words, you hugged him harder and even started crying, now he was the one rubbing your back whispering sweet words into your ears. You thankfully managed to babble a couple “yes”s after. His warm smile to you made your worries leave your side. He was your miracle boy, after all, is said and done.

...

On the other side of the gym; witnessing this display was Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, obviously torn:

 Yamaguchi was happy that you were happy, but of course the tang of pain in his own heart longed for you to hold him like that.

While Tsukishima was pissed; who was this guy? Why was he treating you like his girlfriend? Was he your boyfriend? Is that what he meant on the court? Either way, he was seeing his heart break right before his eyes.

The two boys watched as you hugged him, his eyes lighting up to meet your face.

...

“Paradise, can I kiss you please?” he was looking straight into your eyes, his seemed to be less red and puffy, and now energetic and happy. “Tendou, please let me wipe my face off, I’m kinda gross-” he responded with taking out a small pack of tissues and wiping your face off for you, your giggles resonating in the hard walls of the stadium. “There, my Miracle Girl; back to what I said earlier...” of course he’d get nervous after thinking about what he said, so you just cut off the silence with “I’m waiting, Satori.” That was all he needed to kiss you; his left hand holding your cheek as his right was resting in your hair. His lips were chapped yet sweet. You both melted in the kiss, breaking it to breathe, resting your heads on each other. “Satori, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, my paradise.”

...

After seeing the display of love, Tsukishima left. He didn’t have time to ponder about how your warm hand would feel in his hair, your soft lips on his, he didn’t have time for love. He didn’t like it, the feeling of heartbreak. If he didn’t fall in love with you, he could’ve avoided the stress of seeing you happy with that bastard.

Yamaguchi stayed, seeing that Tsukishima needed some time alone. He was so happy for you! But like always, a part of him would wonder how it’d feel if your hand squeezed him, or your warm lips kissing him on the cheek each morning. He was happy, he swears he isn’t lying to himself.

#hq #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #tendou satori #tendō satori #tsukishima kei #angst #tadashi yamaguchi #yamaguchi tadashi #kei tsukishima #shiratorizawa #karasuno #fanfic

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

#🐌.txt #镇魂 guardian #as always... if anyone wants to ask me any questions abt this or guardian in general... pls do.. my mind goes brrrrrr #guardian meta