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myfeetkeepdancing · 3 years

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"You're going with it?"

"Yeah… Yeah, I do." Tom giggled charmingly. "I like it." Checking out his outfit. Once again, no pants and white socks. Topped off with this fashionable black suit. "Keeps my temperature just about right." Trying to justify his pantless outfit while pushing the last folds out. "Warm suit, cool legs. It's just… right." He smiles fondly, enjoying his decision.

"I clearly remember from last time you were all hot and bothered at the end." Shifting in your seat. "And that only in a space of… thirty to forty seconds." His mouth gasped open as if this revelation was utterly based on lies. "It showed. Big time."

"It wasn't that bad!"

"Well, a face as red as a tomato, I sure won't forget."

"What do you think?!" He stands up, approaching you, leaning in for that sweet kiss. "I had you-…"

"Careful, darling." You interrupt and flinch back on purpose, Tom hovering inches away from your lips. Holding the pitcher of water in between the two of you. "Don't wanna spill this-...." You grin. "All over those pretty legs... and black boxer shorts." Stealing a quick kiss on his lips. "Wouldn't want you showing on camera covered in wet spots."

"Then you better hold on tight." He jests and pushes on. Pressing his lips onto yours with more force than usual. His hands grabbing the backrest of your chair. Turning his kiss more violent and heavy. You feel like he'd push you off the chair with this intensity. While you fought to stay balanced. Both hands on the pitcher. Careful not to spill anything.

"I had you…" He continued, despite having his lips occupied with yours. "-you… watching me... teasing me..." Pushing you furthermore onto the chair. It sat so uncomfortable, but now even more. Finding your balance. While also trying to listen to Tom. And that kiss, so passionate and fierce, that even breathing became a task worthy of your attention. Each word he spoke, he'd give you a breather, pulling back. Utter a few well-placed words. You were literally hanging onto his lips. "Darling, you're more… than a pretty distraction.

"You know what they say." You mumble in the kiss. Noses nuzzled together. As he slowed down, finally allowing you to speak. His smile radiating against yours. "Right...?"

"It's about my legs." He says, taking back. Giving you a moment of respite. "Or my crotch?" Staring at you with squinted eyes. "Which one is it?" He keeps going. "You think I should put some pants on...?" He looked to the side, struck by indifference. "Is it fashion, though?" You wonder for a moment if you let him ramble. What path this would lead.

"Joe Russo-…" You whisper, grabbing his attention immediately. "-has better thighs than you." Biting your lower lip, trying hard to contain your laughter.

"For real?" He pulls back just as you're going in for the second round of kisses. "Are you joking?" Trying to act as if he feels offended. "It's about the pitcher…" Crossing his arms. "Isn't it?" Waiting for your reaction. "Am I right?"

"I had no hand in this, Tom." Shrugging your shoulders. "Your thighs are trending, and the people have spoken. It's universally agreed upon that Joe has better thighs than you."

"I can't…. I can't believe it." Tom's expression was priceless. His expression switched from dumbstruck to disbelief, to stunned and back again. All in a matter of seconds. Staring off to the side. Eyes glazing over for a moment. "Guess I'll… I'll wear pants then..." Sounding slightly disappointed.

"Though, I can say I had a hand on this." You chuckle, patting the bare naked skin of his thigh. Just as he was about to head for his pants. Which he had found in the end. Tom being chaos incarnate himself, always loses things. Even if he packed it himself.

"And you liked it." He smiled with this smug expression. Tom being more than pleased with himself being able to find a victory in this derailed conversation. Slipping on his tailored pants, all black, and matching.

"True. But I never had Joe's… so..." You taunt, eyeing the entirety of the suit. "Difficult one."

"You're unbearable today." Leaning in for a kiss as the call came in.

"Handsome." You add on. "Unbearably handsome." Fighting to keep the kiss going with all the giggles and laughter in between.

"Don't go stealing my title, love."

"Give your waterboy some credit."

"Don't... don't say that." He pouts his lips. "Because I had a little argument-"

"Fallout, you mean." Tom averted his gaze as he knew very well it was his fault. His temper did play a hefty part in it. He sure wasn't proud of it. Especially since one of his brothers was on the receiving end. "You and your tempers." You shake your head like a judgmental parent. "Now you have to deal with me again."

"Thank you for doing this." Trying to brush away his feelings of guilt. Charging in for a simple exchange of kisses again.

"You told me to."

"I didn't say that!" He smiled. "At least… not in those words."

"I could have been hitting the bar by now."

"I know… Don't make me feel all guilty, love. What is it you want?" Slowly peeling himself off of you. Feeling the heat of the call still ringing behind him. "Another deal?" Nonetheless, kissing you back. "Just like last time..."

"You know what I want.” You moan into the kiss. Not many more words needed to spilled about it. The though alone made Tom’s lips shudder against yours. You can’t help but grin. “How about some credit, Tom." You mumble after his departing lips. "Credit where credit is due." Taking him by surprise.

"Shit…" Tom cursed while looking back at his laptop, giggling as his thoughts were elsewhere occupied. The call went unanswered, turning everything quiet again. Except for both of your racing heart. "Probably Jimmy's assistant."

"Tommy…" You try to catch his attention again, with your hand on his cheek. Pulling his eyes and lips back to you. "You heard me."

"Yeah, Yeah." He giggled while his smile grew in size. "I heard you." The way he averted his gaze from yours sure told you he was trying to think a way out of it. "I'll think about it." Pecking a quick kiss to your forehead. "I will."

"Say it, Tom." You urge on. "Or I undress right here, right now..."

"Usually, I'd help you." He smirked with this expression of pure mischief. "But now. Please don't. Not now."

"Please, do remind me."

"You know you're more than a pretty distraction." He giggled, taking your cheeks in his hands. Feeling all warm and soft. Just like his lips. Welcoming and soothing to the touch.

"Time to choose." The second call came. Making Tom veer back up. "If you're not going to say it… then I at least want you to show it."

Tom shook his head, smile stretching. "I'll say it again..." His hand hovered across the pad of his laptop. "You're-"

"Just pick up, Tom." You break him off mid-sentence. "And keep that temper of yours in check. Jimmy Fallon is waiting." Prodding him into his side just as he was about to answer. "And you fix this with Harry!" Going from prodding to tickling. The other hand unable to keep the pitcher leveled, spilling the water on you.

Tom's eyes widened seeing you rise from the chair, ditching the pitcher on the table beside you. Immediately lifting his finger from the pad. Freezing on the spot.

"Promise me, Tom…" Hooking your finger in the band of his pants. Pulling him flat against you. His fingers slipping between your pants, feeling your hips and hovering your lips inches apart from each other. Both sucking a nervous breath.

"I… I have to take this call." He stammered, sucking on his lips. Tom's eyes always darted up and down, taking you in, mentally undressing you. While his fingers caress and feel the curves of your body.

"Tom…" Kissing him slow and passionate. Letting your fingers find the buttons of his pants. "Apologize to Harry..." And he lets you. Loosening the belt, feeling the tension of the fabric loosen. Hooking your fingers in, careful not to bring his shorts with. And slowly start pulling them down.

"I will..." He whispered, watching you discarding his pants before leading you back to the chair. You were so caught up in each other. If there weren't a call still going in the background, there for sure had happened something way more exciting. Almost missing the ongoing call. "I promise. I will…" Kissing you a final time. "You bastard..." He smirked. "I'll get you."

"I'm sure you will." Watching him recover and get back over his laptop. "I'm sure…" Taking in the new pantless Tom. "So, no deal this time around?"

"You drive me crazy!" The call still going. Tom starting to panic slightly.

"I know." You smile. "And you know I can still undress here?"

"Don't!" He shot back. "This interview is way too long for that."

"Is that Rolex watertight by the way?"

He sneaked a glance at his watch as if he was going to read the number right of the surface. "Yeah, I believe it's up to-..." He looked up at you, eyes widened and a look of terror followed by a smile of mischief. "No (Y/N)..." He started shaking his head. "No-No-No! No! Don't you th-... Don't!" Holding out a hand towards you. "I got plenty more shots with this suit."

"Credit where credit is due, Tom. Or… you show your legs. Full into frame." Slowly swirling the water in the pitcher as a way of threatening him. "Proof your thighs are superior to Joe's."

"So… you... do think they're superior?" A smug little smile spreading across his face as he sits himself in front of the laptop. "Just admit it." Rising back to his feet again. "I mean..." Taking a step back and planting his feet on the chair. Showing the beautiful shape of his leg. "-look at it."

"God, Tom… If you keep going like this, you're not going to make it to this interview. I swear..." Feeling the rush of heat shooting through. Throwing some water across your face from the pitcher. Tom looking all pleased with himself. "Now shield your crotch-..." Giving him a wink. "...-and don't forget to flex those muscles. Make me proud."

#tom holland x male reader #tom holland x male!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland male!reader #male!reader #male reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland #mlm

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besanii · 3 years

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Hi!!! 😃 93 for the prompt thing, please!

#93 - “You’ve hurt me again and again, but I can’t stop coming back to you.”

He arrives at a little town north of Pingzhou in the middle of winter. Snow blankets the ground like carpet, thick and soft, tracking the footsteps of the townspeople in nonsensical patterns crisscrossed over it's surface.

It's not a place he had ever expected Wei Wuxian to choose to settle, recalling how bitterly he had complained about Gusu winters and its ceaseless snow; it seems his understanding of Wei Wuxian is even poorer than he had believed it to be. The thought unsettles him more than he’d prefer to admit.

No one he asks seems to have heard of the name Wei Wuxian, or Wei Ying, but when he describes his appearance, the innkeeper’s daughter exclaims: “You must be talking about Yue-gongzi!”

“Yue-gongzi?” The name is unfamiliar, but the girl nods insistently.

"Yue-gongzi is an artist!" she tells him, eyes shining with excitement. "He paints the prettiest pictures! Look!"

She thrusts a piece of paper under his nose despite her parents' protestations, waving it eagerly until Lan Wangji takes it from her. It's a fine rendering of two butterflies in blue and yellow, hovering above a magnificent red peony in full bloom. He recognises the brushwork instantly, the bold strokes and soft lines, so masterfully executed. He would know this work anywhere.

"Where does this Yue-gongzi live?" he asks.

He's thinner, Lan Wangji notices with a familiar pang of guilt as they stare at each other across the threshold, frozen.

His cheekbones are more prominent now, with none of the boyish charm and flush of health he'd had when they first met. His lips are paler, thinned, pressed together so tightly they may well fuse together; there are dark shadows under his eyes. He looks haunted, sickly—so frail, wrapped in a white, fur-lined cloak that almost dwarfs him in size.

"Wei Ying…" His name falls from Lan Wangji's lips in a hoarse whisper.

The sound jars Wei Wuxian out of his frozen stupor; his fingers tighten around the door until his knuckles turn white.

"What are you doing here?" he asks. His voice is quiet; Lan Wangji is taken aback by the frostiness of his tone.

"I…" he hesitates. "I've been looking for you."

For a long moment, Wei Wuxian looks at him in silence, as if assessing the truthfulness of his words. But Lan Wangji does not lie, would never lie—not to Wei Wuxian. Not even when he should have, when it would have saved them both. And Wei Wuxian knows it too, because he sighs and averts his gaze.

"Zhanshen-daren found me," he says without humour. "What business has Zhanshen-daren lowering himself to grace my humble home with his presence?"

The bitter mockery in his words slices through Lan Wangji's heart like a knife, colder than even the ice that gathers on the furs of his cloak. It is more than he deserves.

"Are you…" He swallows, clenches his fist. "Have you been well?"

A muscle tightens in Wei Wuxian's jaw.

"As well as can be expected," he replies stiffly. "Thank you Zhanshen-daren for his concern."

An awkward silence falls between them, putting Lan Wangji at a loss. Wei Wuxian had always been the one to fill the silences in the past, chattering and laughing about anything and everything that came to mind, undeterred by the lack of response. He had always had a way about him that bridged gaps between people. Lan Wangji doesn't know how to fill silences. He doesn't know how to bridge the chasm between them.

He opens his mouth, and closes it again. After a few more times, Wei Wuxian sighs heavily and moves to close the door. Sharp panic rises in his throat and Lan Wangji takes a step forward, only catching himself when Wei Wuxian freezes.

“May I...” He sucks in a breath and tries again. “May I come in?”

For a moment, he’s afraid Wei Wuxian would refuse. He would be well within his rights to as well. But Wei Wuxian only gives him a glare full of wary mistrust and reluctantly steps aside to allow him entry.

The cottage is simple and rustic, but sturdy nonetheless; all the furniture looks to be handmade, from the small table near the window to the simple bedframe barely visible behind the cloth partition. It’s a far cry from what Lan Wangji is used to, but it is clean, well-kept and spacious. He stands in the middle of the room and takes it all in, unsure of himself now that he is here.

“I live but a simple life,” Wei Wuxian tells him. “I’m afraid I have very little to offer that would meet Zhanshen-daren’s standards. If Zhanshen-daren is looking for somewhere where lodge, I would suggest the inn back in town.”

A clear dismissal. But Lan Wangji has never been one to give up that easily. He turns back to Wei Wuxian lingering in the doorway.

“Have you been here this whole time?” he asks. Wei Wuxian shrugs.

“More or less.” He stares at a spot on the wall over Lan Wangji’s right shoulder rather than meeting his eyes. “As long as you don’t cause trouble, and help out every now and then, the people here are happy to let you be.”

He coughs into his fist, thin and raspy. Wen Qing had warned him that Wei Wuxian would likely be severely weakened; the Seal was forged by the Demon God, imbued with the essence of his demonic energy—no matter how strong he is, Wei Wuxian is only a yao. Such high levels of exposure to that much demonic energy would have burned him up from the inside had his golden core not been as powerful as it were.

The very thought sends a chill down Lan Wangji’s spine. He reaches for Wei Wuxian’s wrist to check his pulse without thinking, only for it to be jerked away; he looks up to see Wei Wuxian staring at him, wide-eyed and fearful.

Wei Ying. Afraid.

Afraid of him.

“Zhanshen-daren please restrain yourself,” Wei Wuxian says stiffly, expression shuttering closed. Lan Wangji curls his outstretched hand into a fist and brings it back to his side.

“My apologies.” He opens his mouth to continue, but Wei Wuxian is already turning away, moving further into the cottage with his back resolutely facing him. “Wei Ying, I—”

He breaks off, suddenly at a loss for words. He’d thought of a thousand different scenarios that could possibly occur should he ever find Wei Wuxian again; he’d had a plan for every single one. He’d ask for forgiveness for his actions, for his misjudgment, for his naivete and foolishness, explain that they’d been mislead by Jin Guangyao, that he had believed in Wei Wuxian’s innocence all along—but all of it sounds flimsy and inconsequential now that he’s here.

“I’m sorry,” he says. Wei Wuxian inhales, hands freezing over the shelf by the window on the other side of the room. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t—didn’t protect you. I should have spoken out, done more—”

“You did what you had to,” Wei Wuxian corrects him. His hands curl into fists. “I don’t blame you for it. You have responsibilities to your sect, to your identity as the God of War in eradicating the likes of us.” He exhales, bows his head. “We were destined to be on opposing sides, you and I. And I should have told you who I was—what I am—much sooner. Before either of us got in too deep.”

“No.” The denial comes swiftly, harsher than he’d intended, as he crosses the room in three long strides to stand behind Wei Wuxian. “You did what you had to,” he continues in a gentler voice. “You had to protect your clan. I don’t blame you for it. I never should have. I should have—”

I should have believed you, hangs between them.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head.

“You had no reason to,” he reminds him gently. “I gave you no reason to. I made that choice myself.”

Lan Wangji reaches out a trembling hand to rest on his shoulder, only for Wei Wuxian to slip away at the last moment, ducking past him towards the area partitioned off as sleeping quarters. Once again putting distance between them.

“You should go.” The dismissal cuts through the air like an arrow, straight into Lan Wangji’s chest. “It won’t be good for someone to see you here.”

“No, please!” He stumbles forward a step towards him before he catches himself, hands balled tightly into fists by his side. “Please don’t send me away, Wei Ying. Wen Qing says you are not well. I-I want to help you. Please.”

A shudder runs through the line of Wei Wuxian’s shoulders; he hunches over, hands coming up to pull his cloak tighter about him as if to ward off the chill. Lan Wangji watches him, desperately hoping that the sincerity of his of plea is heard and understood. That he would once again be able to stand by Wei Wuxian’s side and protect him, as he should have from the beginning.

The laughter that follows is soft, rueful, and it hurts Lan Wangji more than if he had thrust Bichen through his own heart.

“Lan Wangji, ah, Lan Wangji,” Wei Wuxian sighs. He half-turns, tilts his head to look back at Lan Wangji sadly. “You’ve hurt me again and again, but I can’t stop coming back to you. What grievous misdeeds have I wrought upon you in my past life that I must continue to atone for it in this one?”

He turns away again.

“It would be best for Zhanshen-daren to leave now.”

Translations

Zhanshen-daren (战神大人) - My Lord, the God of War

Notes

The Demon God is a mo (魔) demon, an evil spirit, whereas Wei Wuxian is a yao (妖) demon, a spirit formed from a non-human living creature (in this case, a vermilion bird). Yao are not necessarily evil, but they tend to be portrayed as thus in the majority of folklore—in the original drama, one of the main responsibilities of the righteous sects is to eradicate yao to prevent them from hurting humans.

The “yue” Wei Wuxian uses is 乐 from 音乐 (yinyue, music), which can also be read as le (pleasure, enjoyment, happy/cheerful)

buy me a ko-fi!

previous parts here

#hey nonny nonny #asks #mdzs #wangxian #my writing #lan wangji #wei wuxian #love and redemption au #coloured glass fic #coloured glass verse #🔪🔪

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ssaltbending · 3 years

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Ok, guys, hear me out: Zuko is a Capricorn, Katara is a Cancer —and here’s why (it would be so poetic).

Part 1: Zuko

TW: explicit mentions of child abuse.

I know this statement might seem weird and out of place, but in the last couple weeks I’ve been digging a lot into astrology and, in order not to forget my roots, I thoroughly felt the need to combine both of my most recent obsessions in one post, given that this headcanon hasn’t been able to leave my mind ever since I came up with it: if we applied astrology to the Avatar world, I’m sure Cancer and Capricorn would be Katara and Zuko’s signs, respectively. And I don’t say this in a superficial way, just by looking at zodiac memes and associating Katara with the crybabies Cancers are portrayed as or saying Zuko is a Capricorn buzzkill as people who know astrology on a surface level would assume they are —those are some of the most common stereotypes about the signs. No, I’m saying that they embody those signs on an archetypal leve: in the way their stories, especially Zuko’s, resemble the myths that originate the zodiac signs and their respective traits.

Therefore, without further ado, let me explain.

The Capricorn archetype: the sins of the father...

As any casual astrology enthusiast may probably know, the sign of Capricorn is connected to qualities such as perseverance, integrity, resilience and ambition, typically treated as the CEO or boss of the zodiac. However, the sign itself has a richer and much more complex story as we look at the deities it is associated with as well as the planet that rules it: Saturn, linked to the Roman god of the same name and the greek gods Cronus, Zeus, Hestia and Pan. Some astrologers choose Cronus as Capricorn’s patron god and others prefer his children, but that can be explained very easily.

The myth goes like this: Cronus, a giant and father of what we would know as some of the main greek gods (Hestia, Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus), was actually the son of Uranos, who he subverted thanks to the advice of his mother Gaia to use an agricultural tool to kill him. But as time went by and Cronus had started having children with his partner, Rhea, the fear of his descendants becoming stronger than him and doing the same thing he had done to his father took over him, which led to his decision of swallowing them all whole. He started with Hestia all the way back to Zeus, whom he couldn’t swallow right after he was born, unlike his other children, because this time Rhea had hid him in the island of Crete to protect him from his father. To deceive him, Rhea then covered a rock in cloth to make it resemble a baby for Cronus to eat it, thinking that it was a newborn Zeus.

Time passed and Zeus grew stronger until he was ready to confront his father and save his siblings from his womb, and when he finally did it, he managed to force Cronus into disgorge them one by one, in the reverse order they had been swallowed —which left Hestia as the last sibling to be disgorged.

After that, Zeus was left with a prophecy, where he would also be possibly overthrown by a son of his. And after Métis, the woman he was told would bear said child, gave birth he swallowed the newborn whole just like Cronus had done with his brothers and sisters. The child in question, however, started giving him headaches as it grew older and bigger inside of him and would become the goddess we know as Athena. What Zeus did with her was the repetition of a cycle perpetuated by his forefathers, a cycle of abuse and trauma that seems inescapable. What this part of the duality of the Capricorn archetype shows one of the ways in which those ideas of tradition and legacy can be carried on (a very negative one, to be honest), but that’s not the only way they can manifest, which gives the archetype this… almost cinematic quality, in my opinion. (And if we take this into account, I might headcanon Azula as a Capricorn rising due not only to the archetypal coincidences but the overall mastermind outlook she has and how much of a natural, domineering and calculating leader she is, but that’s besides the point.)

Now, let’s talk about the other side of the archetype, which gives it this incredible dual quality: Hestia’s path. Unlike her brother Zeus, Hestia was the one who not only had been devoured by her father, but she had spent the most time inside him as well. This is often associated with the emotional isolation many Capricorns experience in their youth, the lack of warmth and love by one of their parents, along with the desire not to become the abusive parent they were exposed to. Hestia is the other side of the story, the unspoken leader of the Olympians, the one who broke the toxic cycle running in her family for generations, vowing to become an eternal virgin and protector of the earth. Besides, Hestia means “hearth”: the inner fire, the one that is never allowed to go out.

(art by @elisebrave)

That is the soul of the Capricorn archetype: the crossroads of destiny, the moment when the child decides whether to become like their parents, or forge their own path like Hestia did. Do you guys see what I see now? Are the similarities clear enough?

As my dear friend @persephobeee points out in her Capricorn essay (a crucial source for this one): “The Capricorn archetype is a cycle of stuck parents putting stress on their children at such a young age so then their kid ends up making money in retaliation, but then treat their kids the same as well due to the lack of warmth and freedom they had in their own childhood. The intense pressure put onto them as a child [then] leads to isolation and depression. It’s a cycle. ‘I don’t want to be my parent, but also… how they have ruined me’. The chain can continue with Zeus (projecting sorrows and nightmares onto their own children) or it could break with Hestia (the path of love, light and protection).”

This is why Capricorn’s planetary ruler, Saturn, is also associated with ideas found in this myth: restriction, limitation, order, boundaries, leadership, responsibility… pretty much dad vibes, to be honest. Do you guys see what I see or do I have to dig deeper?

“But isn’t zuko a firebender?? Why would he be an earth sign??”, you may ask.

The way that I might be making headcanons about the Gaang’s western zodiac signs isn’t gonna be based on which element they bend, because that would be quite reductive and restrictive for me as an astrology junkie, but their similarities to each sign’s archetype and overall characteristics. And yes, I do see Zuko as an earth sun, but that wouldn’t be his only sign, there is also the moon and the rising sign, which also have an important impact on the individual. In my opinion, Zuko’s personality embodies the qualities of fire signs as well: competitiveness, drive, passion, impulsiveness and loyalty. But to me those qualities are better shown in his character through his moon sign: an Aries moon, to be specific. See those anger outbursts? The “I don’t need any [fucking] calming tea!!”? The “you never think these things through”? Aries moon behavior, right there. But I’m not going to focus on moon signs right now. Let’s get back to the behavior I am the most well-versed at: Capricorn behavior.

So, the sign of Capricorn is also a cardinal sign, a leader, since they are the ones that begin each season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Capricorn season starts right on the winter solstice, and the opposite happens in the South. However, since all the astrology lore comes from the North thanks to the Greeks, Babylonians and more, the seasonal connections are related to the seasons there. As a consequence, Capricorn is the cardinal sign that brings the coldest, darkest season of the year: winter. And incorporating that into Zuko’s character would be incredibly fitting, in my opinion, because of some stuff I’ve read here on Tumblr saying that making him being born during the coldest time of the year would make it a terrible omen for a firebender, worse in this case due to him being born into the royal family, symbols of the power and “supremacy” of the Fire Nation. The fact that he would be born in winter, if we follow this reasoning, would have made him seem as a disappointment to his father ever since birth.

… or maybe I’m just cruel, guys.

Moreover, I think Zuko embodies many of the Capricorn qualities in the way he carries himself (because no, not all Capricorns are confident managers with the world in our hands) and how hard he has to work to earn everything he gets. A key part of what this sign represents is “the path of hardships the goat has to overcome in order to reach the top of the mountain”, which along with the myth I have described before, could easily be applied to Zuko. It describes values of endurance, hard work, discipline and drive in order to achieve your goals, something that can be seen in Zuko all throughout the series, but changes its focus as the seasons go by. Besides, uhm… have you guys seen “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”? That is literally the positive outcome of the Capricorn myth made into animation: the confrontation between an abusive father figure and his abused child who has decided to part ways with him in order to become a better person.

On another note, I think it is important to highlight how the Capricorn in Zuko could be seen based on how the rest of the Gaang treats him as well when he changes sides and he’s accepted into the group. How?, you may be wondering: as a father figure, but in a positive way. In many scenes it can be noticed how he naturally takes a position of leadership within the group as well as he takes care of the younger members such as Aang and Toph but, especially in Aang’s case, tries to ground them and teach them. As examples, take the following: Zuko reminding Aang that soon he will have to face the fact that he might have to kill Ozai, him trying to get everyone to train when the comet is about to arrive; how when Aang gets lost, it is him the one people look to in order to lead the group, etc.

Another thing that is well-known in Capricorns is our resilience and perseverance and, honestly: do I even need to explain that? When it comes to the guy who would get his ass beaten again and again and again for one season straight in order to get what he wanted which would also give him the approval of his father, what he craved most? It screams earth sign behavior to me, but with a heavy saturnian influence due to Zuko’s background which, to me, can be quite an interesting reflection of the Saturn/Cronus myth with his children. Said tenacity could also be exacerbated by the willpower and energy brought by the possibility of him having a fire moon, I don’t know, think about it. I stick to that headcanon.

That perseverance can also be seen when it comes to Zuko’s firebending, given how much he’s always trying to improve his skills. Although it could be argued that in reality he’s doing so due to the expectations put on him to be a proficient bender just like his sister in order to be accepted by his father, and his constant training to the point of exhaustion is just a manifestation of that toxic behavior. I am sorry to tell you, but that’s textbook Capricorn behavior, associated with the symbolism of the hardworking goat in general: working the hardest in order to get what you want is always on-brand when it comes to important Capricorn placements, and in my opinion Zuko is no exception.

Final thoughts.

Anyway, what I think would be most relevant is what I mentioned before about the Capricorn archetype and how it could tie in nicely to Zuko’s character arc with him as a representation of Hestia, who could grow out of the abuse she experienced and got a chance not to make her father’s mistakes and break that horrendous cycle she had been a victim of. I would go into this more deeply, but I think it has been enough for now. However, I’ll be back soon with a part two, talking about my water queen Katara. What do you think about this headcanon? Do you agree? If not, why?

Thanks for coming to my weird-ass TedTalk at 1am. I needed to vent and I haven’t been able to put the computer down since 9pm, I literally only stopped to eat, lol.

See you soon,

a Capricorn sun.

77 notes · View notes

baepsaesbae · 4 years

Text

Heal Me, Kill Me Ch.2

Pairing— Kim Taehyung x reader

Genre— Vampire!Taehyung x Vampire Hunter!reader, ANGST, mild smut +18, comedy (i tried), fluff in this chapter

Warnings— Oral (m receiving), good ol making out

Word Count— 7.5k

Summary— You’re one of the best vampire hunters in the world. That’s to be expected when your parents are the best of the best. Your life had solely revolved around ruthlessly killing vampires. You were essentially a cold blooded machine. However, things take a turn once you meet Kim Taehyung, your latest target.

A/N— Huge shoutout to @dee-ehn for this beautiful banner! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think! Things are starting to get spicy~

You’ve never looked forward to a day of work more than today. Happily making your way to the shop, you found yourself daydreaming about Taehyung. He seemed to be slowly warming up to you throughout the course of yesterday. Maybe he’ll trust you enough to...to what?

Normally you’d automatically kill your targets as soon as you’d earn their trust (but maybe after indulging in some promiscuous activities). But this time around, your mind didn’t go there. You genuinely wanted him to trust you. Why? You had no clue.

You shook the question away. You’ll deal with that problem when you get there. For now, you’ll just take it one step at a time. The first step is officially gaining Taehyung’s trust.

Humming as you unlocked the front door, you’re unaware of the clouds looming overhead. You prep the store for customers (which you rarely get). The stack of orders had been cut in half thanks to Taehyung’s help. Maybe you could get through all of them together by the end of the day.

Yoongi was right. This alibi was a lot easier and surprisingly, a lot more fun to use. It was more freeing. It gave you the illusion of a normal life.

The door chimed.

“Welcome in!” you greeted.

“Good morning, ___,” Taehyung returned your greeting.

“Taehyung! You came!” you beamed.

“I said I would. I always keep my word,” a small smile cracked onto Taehyung’s usually stoic face.

“You think we can finish all of these today?” you waved the orders in his face.

“If you don’t slow me down, definitely,” Taehyung nodded.

“Excuse me? How dare you!” you feigned being upset.

“Oh, I was trying to joke with you. Did I upset you?” Taehyung’s smile disappeared, his eyebrows furrowing with concern.

“Oh my gosh, I know! I was playing along with you, silly boy,” you laughed.

“Ah, now I’m embarrassed. Truth be told, I don’t get out much. I’m sure you can tell,” Taehyung took the orders from you.

“Honestly, me too. I don’t have any friends,” you confessed.

Why was it so easy to talk to Taehyung? Never in a million years would you divulge any personal details, and yet here you were.

“Really?” Taehyung seemed surprised, “You seem like the type of person to befriend anything that breathes.”

“Are you teasing me again?” you asked as you gathered the flowers for the first bouquet of the day.

“No, I meant it as a compliment. After all, you managed to get me out of my house. That’s an impressive feat,” Taehyung took the flowers from you.

“Is it? I wouldn’t know. Because apparently I ‘don’t know you’. But thanks, I guess?” you watched him expertly arrange the flowers in a decadent vase.

“Let’s change that then. Let’s see how much we can learn about each other in one day,” Taehyung stopped what he’s doing to look at you.

There it goes. Your heart skips a beat again. The kindness in his eyes did something to you that you couldn’t explain. You know you have to lie. Everything you tell him has to be a lie. You knew that. And yet.

“Sure, let’s do it. I’ll start. I’m a dog person. I love dogs!” you smiled.

Ok, that’s not a lie, but it’s also not important. No harm done.

“Me too! Ok, off to a good start. What’s your favorite breed?” Taehyung asked excitedly.

That was the start of a never ending conversation. You haven’t had a genuine conversation in ages. Granted, it was all surface level topics, but that didn’t make it any less special. Time flew by as each bouquet was completed. It was nightfall before you knew it.

“We did it!” you exclaimed.

All of the orders had been completed. Once again, vases were scattered all around the shop. You sank down and sat against the counter. It had been a long day.

Taehyung followed suit, sinking down beside you. He was only a few inches away, yet part of you wished he had sat closer.

“Indeed. And we did it together,” Taehyung smiled at you.

“Thanks, Taehyung,” you extend your hand towards him.

Taehyung formally shakes it. You sat in silence for a few moments.

“I guess you don’t need me to come by anymore, huh? Now that all of the orders have been completed?” Taehyung asked quietly.

“You’re always welcome here,” you paused for a brief moment, “Hey, how well do you think we know each other now?” you scoot closer to him.

“I’d say that you probably know me better than anyone else by now. No one else knows that I tried to play the saxophone. Thank god, I was terrible at it,” he chuckled, also scooting closer to you.

“I’ll carry that to my grave, I swear. No one else knows that I love kpop. And it better stay that way,” you playfully glared at him.

“I wouldn’t dare do anything to anger you. I don’t think I’d be able to handle your bad side,” Taehyung patted your head.

His soft gesture made you smile. He was so close to you, your knees were practically touching. You lean closer to him. He leans in ever so slowly. Instead of meeting you in the middle, he gently kisses your forehead. His cold lips left a lasting impression.

“You’re too sweet, ___. I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.

“Why would you hurt me?” you looked at him with doe eyes.

“I can’t really explain. I just...don’t want to see you get hurt,” he stroked your cheek.

“I don’t think anyone can hurt me while you’re around,” you replied.

That was a beautiful answer, one that would make any vampire fall prey to your fake innocence. Usually, you’d say anything to make them fall for your clutches. This time, you even had yourself falling for your own lie. You felt safe next to Taehyung, as if you were meant to be by his side.

“Well then, ___, if you’re so sure about that,” he said as he stood up, “Will you go on a date with me?”

“I would be a fool to say no,” you answered as he helped you up.

You loaded up the cart with the last of the bouquet orders. It was a joyful walk to and from the post office. The night sky was speckled with stars. The air was fresh and crisp. You found yourself skipping alongside Taehyung as he effortlessly pulled the heavy cart.

“May I pick you up for our date tomorrow?” he asked, as you both stood in front of the flower shop.

“Tomorrow? We’re moving pretty quickly,” you observed.

“I’m sorry, am I being too forward? I can wait, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Taehyung took your hand.

“No! You’re fine, Taehyung. You’re such a sweetheart. I’m joking, silly. Yes, tomorrow is perfect. It’s supposed to still be all rainy and gross right?” you laced your fingers between his.

“Yes, it’s like that practically year round here. That’s why I like this place. Can I have your address?”

“Of course, I can text it to you.”

“I don’t have a phone.”

“Dude, what? It’s the 21st century.”

“I don’t like technology. I suppose you can call me old fashioned.”

“You must be. Old man,” you chuckled as you wrote down your address on a piece of paper.

“I’m not that old,” Taehyung said defensively.

“Oh, c’mon. I guess a couple hundred years isn’t that old,” you say.

“W-what?” Taehyung’s eyes widened.

“Joking! Taehyung, you’re too uptight,” you playfully nudged him.

“Ah, aha ha yes. Good one,” Taehyung forced a nervous laugh.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight!” you say.

“Goodnight, ___. I’ll see you on the morrow,” Taehyung bowed.

You’re still ecstatic by the time you get back to the cottage. You’re going on a date! A real life date! I mean, sure, it’s with the person you’re supposed to assassinate, but that part can wait. You haven’t been on a date since...well never. You’d grown accustomed to charming but empty flirtations and one night stands. This time, it actually felt genuine.

Part of you is beyond excited at the prospect of a real date, but a different part of you is begging you to stop. That part of you wants you to get this over with as soon as possible. Getting too connected with your target will only cause problems later on, you know that.

‘I can let myself have a little fun. I deserve that much,’ you try to tell yourself.

A phone call interrupted your thoughts.

“Hello?” you answered.

“How’d it go? Did you kill him yet? Why haven’t you called?” Yoongi immediately bombarded you with questions.

“Yoongi, slow down. Today was fine. No, I haven’t killed him yet. I just got back. Also, check in calls are to be made BY the hunter once or twice a week. I’ve talked to you two days in a row this week,” you say, audibly annoyed.

“This mission is different. Your target is extremely dangerous. Do you want me to send in reinforcements?”

“No, I can handle this on my own. I think it’ll take some time to gain Taehyung’s trust.”

“Who?”

“Taehyung. My target’s name.”

“You know that probably a fake name, right?”

“I know, I know. I’m just giving you a heads up that I may be here a while,” you sighed.

Honestly, you felt certain that his real name was Kim Taehyung. You felt certain that everything he’s told you so far is the truth. You’d acquired the useful skill of correctly sensing when someone was lying (many many years of training), but you saw no such signs with Taehyung.

“I appreciate that, I guess. Call me with every update. When are you seeing the target again? Why didn’t you kill him today?” Yoongi pressed more questions.

“I don’t know when I’m seeing him next. We finished all of the orders today, but I told him he’s always welcome in the shop. I’ll be waiting on him to pop by,” you lied, “I couldn’t kill him today because he still never let his guard down,” another lie.

“This guy sounds tricky as hell. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to seduce you yet. Or is there something you’re not telling me?” Yoongi’s voice raised with suspicion.

“No, this guy is incredibly aloof for a vampire. It’s gonna be a challenge to get him to trust me, but I can do it,” you reassured him.

“Alright. I’ll believe you for now. Don’t hesitate to call. Bye,” Yoongi hung up.

He must really be worried. He never says ‘bye’. He usually just abruptly hangs up.

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell Yoongi the truth. He would have admonished you for not finishing the job quickly. Suddenly, you began to second guess yourself. Should you go on a date with him? Maybe you should just surprise attack him as soon as he knocks on your door.

You shook your head. This was stupid. Yoongi was stupid for making you worry. You have everything under control. You might as well enjoy the job while you can. The most important thing to remember is to NOT catch feelings, and you know that. You won’t. You can’t afford to.

You slept in the next morning. Since all the orders had been completed, there was no need to visit the shop. You naturally woke up when the sunlight shone through the blinds, slightly illuminating the room.

Sitting at your breakfast table with a coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other, you realized that Taehyung never told you when he’d come pick you up. You’d normally assume that he’d pick you up in the evening, but you never know with Taehyung.

You hop into the shower after eating. Getting ready early never hurt anyone. You skim through your closet after you finish showering. You’ve never worn anything cute for a date before. Technically, you could call all your clubbing and partying outfits ‘cute’, but that’s more of a promiscuous cute, not a first date cute.

You try out a style that you’ve always wanted to wear, but never had the opportunity to. You pair an oversized sweater with a simple but flowy skirt. After applying some light makeup, you genuinely felt cute. You twirled in front of your mirror.

It was early afternoon by the time you finished getting ready. As if by magic, there was a knock on the door as soon as you put on your last accessory.

‘Hi Taehyung!” you greeted him.

“Good day, ___,” he politely greeted back.

The early morning sun retreated behind dark clouds by the time the afternoon came by. Taehyung held an umbrella over his head as he stood on your doorstep.

“Come in! I just finished getting ready. I actually had no idea what time you’d arrive,” you ushered him in.

“I realized I never told you by the time I got back to my house. I felt so foolish,” Taehyung blushed, “But it seems like I had the perfect timing.”

“Mhm, we must be connected by fate or something,” you giggled.

“Do you believe in fate?” Taehyung asked, awkwardly standing just inside the threshold of your cottage.

“Sure, I guess. Life is more fun when you believe in things like that,” you replied, taking his hand to lead him into the living room, “Make yourself at home.”

“Thank you. What do you mean by ‘things like that’?” Taehyung asked after sitting down.

“Things like fate? Uh, I guess other supernatural things? Would that fall in the supernatural category?” you didn’t know how to answer.

“Most people think of demons or ghosts when they hear the word ‘supernatural’,” Taehyung answered.

“Ok, then maybe it’s some sort of omnipresent power. Who knows. Either way, life is easier if you believe in more things than the shit you can see,” you shrugged.

“Do you believe in supernatural things too?” he asked quietly.

“Like demons or ghosts?” you sat down beside him.

“Sure. Maybe even monsters too. Like werewolves or vampires,” he cast his gaze to the floor.

“Werewolves or vampires? I don’t think those exist, silly. Or if they do, I’ve never met one,” you laugh.

What was he trying to do? Vampires never expose their true identities until their prey is on death’s doorstep. Is he about to attack?

Your body clenches up. You’re unarmed at the moment. The closest weapon to you is in your room, which is more than 15 feet away. If he attacks you right now, you’re dead. How could you be so stupid? You can’t believe that you let your guard down.

“Hopefully you never meet one then, if they do exist. I’m sure they’re quite scary,” Taehyung nodded, interrupting your thoughts, “I wanted to take you on a picnic, but the storm outside says otherwise. I brought the food too. Would you like to eat it here?”

“A picnic? Aw, that would have been so cute. Sure, we can eat here. Do you wanna watch a movie while we eat?”

“We can watch a movie after we eat, if that’s okay with you. Again, I’m kind of old school, I guess. I apologize for not being able to take you on a proper date,” he frowned.

You set up your breakfast table as Taehyung retrieved the food. He came back with a stereotypical wicker basket. God, a picnic date would have put you over the moon.

“I made hamburgers. I brought the add ons since I don’t know what you like on them,” he brought out the food, “I also brought fruit and a bottle of wine. Do you drink?”

“I drink occasionally. This all looks incredible. You cook?” you gawked at all the food.

“Occasionally. I grew these fruits myself,” Taehyung looked rather proud of himself as he showed off his strawberries.

He picked one and brought it up to your face to let you examine it. It was a rather small strawberry, but it was as red as a cardinal. You reach forward to bite it, your lips grazing Taehyung’s fingers.

Taehyung let out a small gasp of surprise at your intimate gesture. Whether you were flirting or just being adorable, he couldn’t decipher. He hasn’t felt anything for anyone in centuries. Of every human he has encountered, you were by far the most intriguing.

“This is the sweetest strawberry I’ve ever had!” you cheered as your face contorted when the sugariness set in.

Taehyung laughed at you as he ate one himself, “I’m happy you like them. Please, help yourself to as many as you’d like. Eating them all by myself has been quite lonely.”

The table was finally set, and the meal was laid out beautifully. Taehyung reached out for hamburger buns when you smacked his hand away.

“Did I forget something--” he started to question.

“Phone eats first,” you explained, whipping out your phone to take pictures.

Once you were satisfied with your food photoshoot, you gestured for Taehyung to take his food. He shook his head disapprovingly at you but silently began making his burger.

The medium rare patty was juicy (just the way you like it), and the vegetables tasted as if they had just been picked that morning. Taehyung watched you as you ate, hoping his food was enough to please you.

“How is it? Is everything to your liking? Is the meat too raw?” he asked in a rapid fire succession when he could no longer contain himself.

“Taehyung, this is honestly the best meal I’ve ever had. Everything seems so fresh! And the meat???” you pantomimed a chef’s kiss.

“Thank goodness,” Taehyung let out a long exhale as a wave of relief washed over him, “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Maybe later,” you replied as you made your second burger.

“Okay. Just know that this pairs exquisitely with the burgers,” Taehyung said, already making his fourth one.

“Wine and burgers? That’s an odd pairing,” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“How would you know? You haven’t even tried it yet,” Taehyung scoffed.

Was he teasing you? Joking around with him felt so natural. You could get used to every meal being like this.

‘Wait. No. Don’t be so naive’, you scolded yourself.

“Ok fine! Pour me a glass so I can see for myself,” you rolled your eyes.

“I really only asked because I wanted to open the bottle already,” Taehyung grinned.

With a now empty bottle and full stomachs, the two of you happily conversed across the table. Your laughs were genuine whenever Taehyung said something outlandish (which he often did). His gaze on you was nothing but fond as he examined your delicate features. Everything about you was alluring, and he could not figure out why.

“Let’s watch a movie,” you suggested, already getting out of your seat.

“We can watch whatever you want,” Taehyung smiled as you took him by the hand to lead him to the couch.

“We can scroll through Netflix to see what they have. You cold?” you asked.

“Technically I’m always cold,” Taehyung answers quickly, but then rushes to add, “Because it’s always a little chilly here.”

“Sure, okay. Well, I’m cold so I’m gonna use this blanket,” you dropped down beside him.

Taehyung awkwardly shifted to give you more room. You scooted even closer to him. Again, he tried to scoot away to give you some space.

“Taehyung.”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to cuddle with me under the blanket? Body warmth goes a long way,” you offered bluntly.

“I...would that be okay with you?” Taehyung shyly glanced at you.

“I asked, so yes of course it would be okay, silly,” you threw the blanket over him.

You snuggled up beside him as you scrolled through Netflix. At first, Taehyung was extremely tense. Over time, you felt him begin to relax, and he even began to lean into you. Eventually, you got him to wrap his arm around you. You could feel the coolness of his skin even through his sweater, but that’s to be expected. In all honesty, you forgot what he was for a little bit.

Now would be the perfect time to end it all. He has let his guard down, his eyes glued to the TV screen. You glanced at him, admiring his side profile. There was no way a mere human could look that handsome. His lips moved slightly as he read the movie titles to himself. He realized you were watching him, and returned your gaze.

“Can I help you, ___?” he asked quietly.

“Possibly, if you’d like,” you whispered back.

“I would help you with anything, my dear ___,” Taehyung replied.

“Kiss me?” you say just inches away from his lips.

Taehyung obliged, bringing his hand to your cheek to guide you to him. His icy thumb trailed along your cheek down to your lips. You hesitated, looking at him with doe eyes. Not once have you ever felt nervous about kissing someone. It never mattered. But here, with him, everything was different.

Taehyung leaned in, pressing his plush lips against yours. You embraced the coolness of his lips as it somehow felt refreshing. You finally dove in headfirst, greeting his gentle kiss with your own. Soon, the gentleness became harsher as you kissed him deeper.

Now straddling his lap, the prospect of movie watching had been forgotten. The blanket was tossed aside as Taehyung’s hands began to roam across your back.

Your tongues intertwined wherever they met, be it in his mouth or yours. You pulled back slightly so you could remove your shirt before Taehyung stopped you.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“There will be plenty of time for that later. For now, will you let me kiss those lips that I have foolishly been missing for all my life?” Taehyung softly requested, running his hand through your hair.

There was nothing you could say to express what you felt in that moment. Never before has anyone wooed you like this. You granted his request by pulling him into you. Every act of intimacy felt so personal. Almost as if there was a real connection.

After more kissing, you sank back to lay beside Taehyung. This time, you sprawled out on the couch and rested your head on his lap. Taehyung smiled down at you as he stroked your hair.

“On a scale of 1-10, how was this date?” he asked.

“Solid 9.”

“Why not a 10?”

“You didn’t want to see me with my shirt off.”

“What! It’s not like I don’t want to! Pardon my vulgarity, but I want to see you with everything off.”

“Then why didn’t you let me strip?” you were genuinely curious.

“I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do,” he started twirling your hair between his fingers.

“I was obviously wanting to take my shirt off,” you giggled. He starts to open his mouth to reply but you cut him off, “But thank you. I really appreciate that, Taehyung. You really are such a gentleman.”

“I try to be, anyway,” he said.

“What do you want to do for our next date?” you inquire.

“Next date? Don’t you think we’re moving too fast?” Taehyung teased you, “Would you like to take a walk around my estate?”

“You’re taking me on a walk? Am I a dog to you?” you feign being offended, but now Taehyung understands when you’re being playful.

“If you were a dog you’d be a cute little pomeranian. Adorable and tiny. All bark and no bite,” Taehyung boops your nose.

“If you were a dog you’d be a chihuahua. Annoying,” you quickly retorted.

“Not true. I feel like I’m more dignified, like a Great Dane or a Doberman,” Taehyung shook his head.

“Sure thing, silly. A walk actually sounds relaxing. As long as you can promise me that it won’t be raining, I’d love to go on a walk with you,” you finally answered him.

“The storm should clear up in three days. Can I come pick you up then?”

“I can drive myself.”

“But I want to pick you up.”

“Why?”

“To be chivalrous. But also so that I can see you sooner,” Taehyung looked away in embarrassment.

“Aw, are you gonna miss me?” you teased.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Taehyung teased back.

You repositioned yourself back to straddling his lap. You hugged him, wrapping your arms around him like a koala. He chuckled and hugged you back as he thought about how adorable you were.

This seemingly innocent gesture had not so innocent motives. You began to rub yourself against his groin. Your panties were beginning to soak under your skirt. Taehyung didn’t protest. Instead, you heard him breathing in deeply as you rubbed against him harder.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked in a tone you haven’t heard before.

“Giving you a reason to miss me,” you answered.

Your hand snaked between your thighs to tease his clothed erection. He sighed as you took hold of him. You felt him up through his pants, and you pleasantly figured out that he’s well endowed. Just the thought of him fucking you with his huge cock made your mouth water.

“Can I make you feel good?” you seductively whispered into his ear.

“You can do whatever you want with me, I’m all yours,” he replied.

You get off, and kneel before him. You asked him to remove his pants and underwear as you tied up your hair. He obediently followed your request.

Your eyes widened as his cock was revealed. Just like you thought, its impressive length was matched by its delectable girth. It even curved down slightly, which for some reason turned you on even more.

You pumped him slowly as you admired his dick. Soon, you began to tease him by swirling your tongue around his tip. Taehyung groaned and clutched your ponytail. You looked up at him to see that his eyes were shut and his mouth was wide open.

You licked up his length while you fondled his balls. Taehyung tightened his grip on your ponytail, urging you to stop teasing him. Finally, you wrapped your lips around him as you began to suck him off. The wet sounds echoed around the room. You started your pace off slowly, but gradually picked up. Your hands followed your lips as you bounced up and down. You gagged every time he hit the back of your throat. Feeling the walls of your throat spasm around him caused Taehyung to moan even louder. Tears welled in your eyes as he held himself inside your mouth longer.

In an attempt to let yourself breathe, you went back to swirling around his tip. His dick was now covered in your saliva, so you firmly pumped him while you worked on his tip.

“K-keep going. Just like that. I’m gonna--” Taehyung didn’t finish his sentence before cumming in your mouth.

His cum was surprisingly hot as it exploded into your mouth and dribbled down your chin.

“How was that?” you asked as you wiped away his cum with the back of your hand.

Taehyung was slouching against the couch, still panting. He pulled you back onto his lap before answering, “I had a reason to miss you before, but now I’ll miss you even more.”

“Oh? What was your reasoning before?” you cooed.

“I believe I have formulated a crush on you,” he kissed the top of your head.

“Damn, that sucks,” you shrugged, “Sucks that I have a crush on you too.”

“___,” Taehyung said softly.

“Yes?” you gazed up at him.

“Will you be my girlfriend? I know we haven’t known each other long but--”

“Yes. I’d be honored to be your girlfriend,” you embraced him, “You still wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure, my darling. Let’s do that,” Taehyung squeezed you, almost a little too tight, but you didn’t mind.

“Moana!” you exclaimed as you stumbled upon it.

“Isn’t this a children’s movie?” Taehyung said in protest.

“Yes. It’s also great. Judging by your reaction, you’ve never seen it before so we’re gonna change that,” you clicked on the movie and instantly threw away the remote.

The rest of the day was spent watching Moana. Taehyung was amused by how you knew each song and sang along with the movie. He wouldn’t admit it, but he enjoyed the movie. It was beautifully animated and he appreciated the deep meanings behind it.

You walked Taehyung to the door after the movie ended. He tenderly kissed your cheek as you hugged him goodbye.

“So, I’ll come pick you up in three days time?” Taehyung wanted to clarify.

“No, I’m driving myself over to your place,” you stood your ground.

“As you like,” Taehyung pouted. He’s never done that before. Seeing his cute little puppy eyes almost made you change your mind. You ushered him out before you could do so.

You watched him drive into the distance as the rain poured. It had been storming all day. You couldn’t contain how giddy Taehyung made you feel. You had a boyfriend! Your very first boyfriend, and he was practically a god.

Well, he was a vampire. That you were sent to exterminate.

Your heart deflated at the thought. How could you be so stupid? You got so caught up in the act that you actually let yourself get carried away.

However, this didn’t feel like an act anymore. If anything, Taehyung knows more about you than anyone else in the world.

What if...you just never went back to the VEC? Maybe you could convince Taehyung to run away with you.

No, that would be impossible. The VEC had eyes everywhere, and were capable of anything. For the first time in your life, you didn’t want to kill someone. Your perpetual anger at the world dispelled itself whenever you were with Taehyung.

Instead of calling Yoongi, you decided to text him.

[7:36pm] Still alive. This job is gonna be a long one, but I got it handled. I won’t reach out again until the job is done.

[7:36pm from Yoongles] K

Perfect. That should keep Yoongi off of your ass for a while. At least a month.

The days that you didn’t see Taehyung felt like an eternity. You went to the shop to keep up appearances, but just watched anime on your laptop the whole time.

The elderly couple from before showed up at the shop again. You contently watched them admire the flowers as they walked hand in hand. They brought up the same arrangement of flowers as last time.

“You look different today, dear,” the woman observed.

“Oh yeah? How so, ma’am?” you smiled politely.

“Oh, you’re right dear! She seems happier somehow, the air about her is lighter,” the man nodded in agreement.

“Perhaps now she’s in love. At the very least, there’s someone she’s thinking about right now. Good for you dear! I hope it all works out,” the woman patted your hand as you handed the flowers back over to her. You simply laughed with them as they exited the shop, but your smile dropped as soon as they were out of sight. Their words resonated with you. You’re not in love. That’s absurd. However, you can't deny your fat crush on Taehyung. It’ll subside once you dispose of him. At least, that’s what you think to reassure yourself.

The day of your second date with Taehyung had arrived. It was weird not being able to text or call him. All your previous assignments that took more time loved sexting you. Taehyung was by far your most peculiar case.

The rainfall had finally subsided as you drove over to Taehyung’s estate. The jewelry you wore was crafted to hold small amounts of holy water, perfect for poisoning a vampire’s food. You dabbled in the art of poison in your free time, and managed to develop a toxin that would instantly immobilize even the strongest of vampires. You kept a vial of that on you at all times. You even equipped your best dagger, hiding it within your clothing.

You took a deep breath as you pulled up to the driveway. Today could be the day. If he gave you an opening, you had to take it. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself.

‘He doesn’t care about you. He only wants to feed on you,’ You repeated those accusatory thoughts to yourself in the hopes of actually believing in them.

Taehyung was waiting for you, sitting on the ledge of the rundown fountain. He happily waved at you as you walked up to greet him.

“___! How are you? How was the drive?” Taehyung kissed your cheeks as soon as you were within reach.

“I’m doing well, how have you been? The drive was uneventful, but I’m sure you’re used to that driving around here,” you giggled at his friendliness.

Taehyung was as stoic as a statue when you first met him. Now, he was a sweet talkative guy with boyish charms.

“It’s quiet around here. But that’s why I like it. Shall we begin our walk? There are so many things I want to show you!” Taehyung took your hand and tugged you along.

Weaving his icy fingers with yours, you struggled to keep up with his pace.

“Taehyung! Slow down, we have all day,” you cried out.

“Sorry, my darling. I just haven’t been this excited in a very long time,” Taehyung apologized.

“How long?” you poked.

“Centuries,” he smiled. You knew he wasn’t lying. You giggled to play along with his joke.

His estate had vast grounds. At first glance, it seemed like the property was overgrown, but you realized you were wrong the further away you ventured.

Taehyung was following a small trail that looked like it had been worn out through the years. The treeline got thicker as you guys walked along, progressively turning into a forest. Taehyung was talking the whole time. He was spouting facts and stories about the various plants you stumbled across.

‘So it’s not just flowers. He just really loves nature,’ you thought to yourself.

“Am I boring you? You haven’t said a thing,” Taehyung looked back at you.

“Not at all! I’m learning a lot. I’m intently listening to you, I promise,” you hold out a pinky to him. Taehyung wraps his pinky around yours and continues to lead you down the trail.

“Oh! This is my lake. Do you like to fish?” Taehyung asked as you entered a small clearing.

A dock jutted off of the shoreline of an expansive lake. The lake went on as far as the eye can see. You could barely make out the treeline on the other side.

“This is your lake? You own the entire thing?” you asked in amazement.

“It’s all within my property lines, so yes,” Taehyung nodded, “Do you like fishing, dear?”

“Fishing is okay I guess. I prefer to eat the fish,” you answered, “Maybe we could kayak or something here?”

“Noted. I have a small rowboat we can take out to the middle sometime. You can take a nap while I fish,” Taehyung jokes.

“Sounds like a fine date to me,” you replied.

“Okay! Moving on,” Taehyung (with your pinky still intertwined with his) spun you around and led you back to the trail.

Next, he led you to his garden. He pointed out his strawberry patch, letting you pick the ripest one. He proudly showed you his vegetables too, ranging from lettuce to cucumbers.

“You have such a great green thumb! Every plant I try to raise dies instantly. Even cacti,” you sighed glumly.

“Aw, it’s okay dear. Perhaps you can help me tend to my garden sometime,” Taehyung pecked your cheek.

“Sounds like another fine date,” you returned his kiss with one of your own.

Taehyung explained that the trail goes around his property in a small loop. He had much more land, however he didn't use it for anything. He explained that he values his privacy, but didn’t expound on it. You already knew the reason why anyway.

The treeline began to thin out. Soon, you were traversing through a field of tall ferns. Silently walking through the field, you noticed a patch of ferns that had been crushed, almost as if someone sat on them.

Your heart sank. You stopped in your tracks. Your observant eyes saw subtle dark brown spots that littered the patch of squished ferns. This must have been where your parents were found.

You’d been denying the truth this entire trip. Taehyung really had murdered your parents. The proof was right there. He was nothing more than a vampire. A cold blooded killer with only one motive. It was suddenly getting hard to breathe.

“___? ___?” Taehyung shook your shoulder, snapping you back to reality, “Are you okay? You suddenly stopped walking and spaced out.”

“I’m good! Sorry, I thought I saw something,” you reassured him.

“What did you see?” he asked.

“I thought I saw a rabbit. Then my thoughts wandered to rabbits and I guess I got caught up in it,” you lied.

“Ah, I understand. I do that all the time,” Taehyung patted your head.

All the warm feelings you had towards him were gone. They were replaced by anger and hatred, the feelings you should have had the whole time. You were going to kill him today. He just needed to put himself in a vulnerable position.

“We’re almost back to the house. Would you like some tea?” Taehyung offered.

“That would be perfect,” you smiled. Perfect indeed. All you had to do was slip in some holy water. His mouth will burn upon impact, giving you the perfect opportunity to swoop in for the kill.

He led you into his house through the back door. The interior was surprisingly modern with a sleek minimalist style. Despite the exterior looking like it was from the Victorian era, the inside was furnished with simple black furniture to compliment the light grey walls.

“It’s not much,” Taehyung said when he noticed you looking around, “I live alone so there’s no need to make this place feel inviting. Well, at least there was no need.”

You faked a smile at his comment.

“Make yourself at home, dear. The dining table is over there. I'll bring the tea when it’s ready,” Taehyung planted a soft kiss against your forehead.

A shiver ran down your spine. The once sweet gesture now felt like a threat. Your leg bounced uncontrollably as you waited for Taehyung to join you. Now is the time. It’s now or never.

He placed an ornate teacup atop a fancy saucer in front of you. You graciously accepted it.

“This is my favorite flavor, I hope you like it,” Taehyung said as he lifted his cup to you.

You mimicked his action, clinking your cups. Bringing the cup to your lips, you take your first sip. It was sweeter than expected, but the flavor was pleasant overall.

“Can you guess what flavor it is?” Taehyung asked.

“Something fruity...blackberry?” you answered.

“Close! It’s raspberry. Raspberries tend to be less tart than blackberries,” he explained, “Oh! I have the perfect cake to pair with this too! I’m a bit of a foodie if you hadn’t noticed.”

“All that walking made me hungry so that sounds great,” you replied.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back,” he smiled before departing.

His drink was left unattended, giving you the opportunity to tamper with it. You debated whether you should put in holy water or your special poison. You decide to go with the holy water, that way you can still talk to him after you restrain him. With a quick push of a hidden button on your ring, a few droplets of holy water fell into Taehyung’s tea.

Taehyung returned with a small lemon cake, placing it between the saucers. He cut you a slice before serving himself. Eagerly waiting for you to take the first bite, he looked pleased when a smile crept on your face.

“This is delicious! Where’d you buy it?” you asked.

“I made it myself! I finally perfected it after a bunch of trial and error,” he beamed as he began to eat his slice.

“Let’s toast to this occasion, to celebrate the beginning of a new relationship,” you held out your cup. You’re ready to pounce as soon as he takes a sip. The concealed weapon hidden in your sleeve was prepped and ready to spring out as soon as you attacked.

“A toast to this momentous occasion,” Taehyung held his cup out. It’s nearly time. He paused for a second.

“Can I say something first?” Taehyung lowered his cup.

“Of course, is something wrong?” you tried to conceal the panic in your voice. Had he finally caught on? Your body tensed up as you prepared for a fight.

“Nothing is wrong, dear. I just...I want to get something off my chest,” he took a deep breath, “I had been extremely bored with life for God knows how long. I value my security and seclusion for personal reasons, however I never craved for interactions with anyone. I’ve preferred to be alone for the longest time. Mostly because I don’t want to cause problems for anyone anymore. The last time I interacted with people it ended rather poorly.”

You set your cup down to listen to him, fully engaged in his speech while still being on high alert.

“Everything changed when I met you. I can’t explain it. Normally I would have shooed you away, but something about you made me want to help you. Maybe my interest in flowers got the better of me, who knows? Then, I had the pleasure of getting to know you more when I made the bouquets with you. I can’t tell you the last time I had a genuine conversation with someone. Everything feels so natural with you. I want you to know that I will never hurt you. I will never lie to you. I despise lies above all else. Lastly, I wanted to thank you. Thank you for taking the wrong turn and stumbling into my life. I’m excited to start a new chapter with you, ___.”

You were speechless. Not one word of his was laced with magic. His speech was pure and genuine. How can someone this thoughtful be capable of murdering your parents?

“What happened to the people you last interacted with?” you questioned.

Taehyung flinched at your response. Out of all the things he said, that’s what you chose to respond to? Taehyung shook his apprehension away and chalked it up to your curiosity.

“Many years ago I lost someone I was very fond of. I suppose I never wanted to go through that pain ever again,” he answered solemnly. That’s not what you meant to ask. You were intrigued but needed answers to more pressing matters first.

“So you’ve never interacted with anyone since then?” you pressed the issue.

“Well I had some nuisances bothering me somewhat recently but I don’t think that is important,” Taehyung averted his gaze from you.

“Nuisances? How so?” you expertly concealed your growing rage.

“They wouldn’t leave me alone after I politely asked them to vacate my property,” he curtly answered.

“Why were they here?” you prodded.

“Does that matter?” Taehyung’s voice rose, causing you to shrink into your chair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we’re together now. We can take on the world together, you and me. I want to give you the world, darling,” Taehyung quickly apologized after seeing that he startled you.

“Thank you, Taehyung. You really are the best gentleman I have ever met. Thanks for loving flowers so much that you ended up talking to me, I guess,” you smiled politely as you lifted your cup.

Now you were conflicted. Surely there was more to the story between him and your parents. You needed answers. Taehyung doesn’t seem to be violent at all. His kindhearted nature made it hard to believe that he was capable of such atrocities.

“Cheers, darling,” Taehyung clinked your cup.

You watched intently as he brought his cup to his lips. His movements seemed to be happening in slow motion, torturing you.

“Wait!” you cried out, “Let’s switch cups. For good luck.”

“Huh?” Taehyung lowered his cup in confusion.

“I used to do that with my parents. We’d switch cups at the last minute for good luck,” you lied. Hopefully Taehyung would buy into it.

“Sure. What an interesting notion,” Taehyung observed as he switched cups with you.

“The key is doing it last minute, that way luck won’t escape you,” you admonished yourself for such a shitty explanation.

“That makes sense,” Taehyung nodded thoughtfully. Thank god he’s a bit odd.

You drank the cup containing the holy water. You could have easily killed Taehyung today, but you needed to know more about your parent’s death. The VEC wasn’t going to tell you jack shit. Perhaps it was time to go a little rogue.

#bts smut #kim taehyung smut #bangtanarmynet #btswritingcafe #bangtanshadowfamily #ksmutclub #bts angst #kim taehyung angst #kim taehyung vampire #vampire bts #bts fanfic #kpop fanfic #taehyung fanfic

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dented-nado · 3 years

Note

Blanket/cuddling with superbat if you want!

This turned into heavy angst that turned into comfort despite this being a fluff prompt I’m so sorry , but I hope the hurt/comfort pay off will be worth it.

Cold.

Batman had pushed himself through pain, refused to acknowledge how much yet another knife ripping through his suit, another bullet that would have to be dug out, really hurt. Deep down, there was a voice that screamed every time, that wanted to cry, yell, anything, but he buried it. The way the cold air whipped at his face as he fell from the tallest buildings into the city and landed in a glide. The way every new tragedy, every new loss would shake him to his core.

How much more before he broke? Even the heaviest, strongest, steel would bend under enough pressure.

What if he lost someone dear to him again?

Could he handle it? Could he go on?

He hated thinking about it.

Alone.

That kind of heavy emotion couldn’t stay buried for long. Bruce had it explained to him many times. The way he lived and treated himself was much like a dormant volcano. It may stand tall and seem like any other mountain from an outsider perspective… but inside, the pressure was building, and the longer that pressure built with no way to vent or release that energy? The more dramatic and disastrous the inevitable eruption would be.

He knew it. He had seen such an eruption happen to those closest to him. Witnessed as all the repressed trauma, both physical and mental burst out after hiding behind a mask under the surface for so long, watched it rip a person apart, disrupt their life completely.

Deep down… he knew.

He knew he wasn’t dealing with what he needed to. He knew he knew, everyone had told him. He had told himself. He knew he was pouring the wrong kind of energy into Batman that had brought him a little too close to a place he didn’t want to go. He knew… eventually, his body, his mind, wouldn’t be able to physically take it anymore.

He’d already pushed himself so far… so so far.

But he made excuses. “Gotham needs me.” “Just one more night.” “Once this one case is solved…” “Maybe when (x) is older, they need me to be strong right now…”

Lost.

Clark… Clark was… different. While he certainly hadn’t opened up very quickly… It was clear he trusted Bruce to tell him about his deepest insecurities, fears… the feelings that he had that he’d never really belong anywhere.

Bruce would listen, he always did, knowing these words were ones Clark didn’t share with just anyone. But it always baffled him in some way… because to him, Clark was not only a man he admired… loved… cherished… but a man he also wished he could be more like in a lot of ways. Because at least Clark talked about it. He had wiped tears from Clark’s eyes when he finally opened up about the life he had been ripped away from during the Black Mercy incident.

But when he tried to relate., tried to say he knew the horrific feeling of loosing a child… understood what it was like to have the life you always wanted, the acceptance, and love you always wanted… the people you wanted to be in your life teased at you, convincing you they were real only to come to the horrific conclusion that it was all a lie…. He couldn’t say it. He’d find when he wanted to speak, it felt like all of it wanted to come out of once.

And too often it came when he really didn’t want to make it about him. Or even just… he panicked at the feeling of everything being ready to come pouring out and swallowing it back down into the pit of his stomach, into the crevices of his mind to be saved for nightmares. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Clark to tell him… god, he trusted that man more than anyone, and adored him so. SO. Much. But he was terrified what might begin to spill if even one thing shook loose. He was afraid speaking even one word would make him fall apart and not know how to pick the pieces back up… or if he even could.

Help

There wasn’t anything particular different about that night. And yet… halfway through his patrol in the Batmobile, he found himself pulling over due to having trouble breathing. He felt dizzy, his mind had gone blank. He’d just fought and turned in a gunslinger hiding in an alley… it’s not as if he hadn’t done that so… so many times already… so why now?!

The fact he was starting to panic as his body and mind had reached a full on shut down only panicked him more. His hands were shaking as he tried to call Alfred, finding himself having trouble just trying to remember what the damn right button was. He’d helped design the damn thing himself and yet suddenly he couldn’t remember what was what. Finally he found it and felt his eyes grow wet.

“Alfred…” He heaved.

He knew Alfred was asking him what was wrong in alarm, but he barely heard anything, it felt like his ears were stuffed with cotton and his heart was pounding in his head.

“I… I need you to remotely … I can’t…. remember how I’m…”

I’m not okay.

He leaned against the back of the seat in relief as the Batmobile’s auto-navigation took over, he ripped off the cowl and covered his face with his hands. Despite no one able to see him, he still felt the need to cover up his expression, a mix of pure panic and despair as tears he hadn’t let out almost his whole life were bursting out like a damn breaking after a flood. He hated it. He hated feeling, he didn’t want to be this way…

The only comfort that made it through in the moment is hearing Alfred’s voice through the communicator.

“It’s going to be okay son… you’re going to be okay, you’ll be home soon.”

When he stumbled out of the Batmobile he could barely stand on his own two feet, He was starting to feel lightheaded, like he may pass out from the breathing he’d been unable to calm down despite numerous attempts.

Alfred had rushed over, grabbed his shoulders, so gently encouraged Bruce to look his guardian in the face and breathe with him.

Bruce didn’t know how long it took but he finally finally was able to start catching his breathe again, and allowed himself to be gently taken to sit down. His father figure never letting go of his hand that had ended up ungloved at some point Bruce didn’t remember.

“I-I don’t know what happened or why I-!” Bruce rambled feeling like he had to explain.

“You don’t have to talk about it right now or try and explain it. We don’t need to solve anything right now… what we need is for you to give yourself time…”

“But I left in the middle of a patrol! How could I do that? What if something happens because my own mind betrayed me?!” Bruce insisted, feeling his chest heave again.

“Your mind is not betraying you. It’s doing exactly what it’s meant to, it’s reacting to high levels of stress that you’ve tried to put aside for years and it’s trying to keep you safe. There is nothing wrong with that. There are other people out there working to help save lives, you cannot continue to do this to your detriment.” Alfred replied firmly, his own worry that had been present for years over his son’s wellbeing clearly had been boiling under the surface as well.

Bruce knew he was right… but he wished he could somehow just be better, not have to face any of this…

Alfred took a deep breathe. “Bruce. You are a stubborn, stubborn man with a good heart and so much drive… but I know you also appreciate practicality, and the kind of heroism you do is incredible, but it is not practical. You need to put yourself first. I know you know that in principle, but you have to start letting the rest of us help you make the steps you need to take. I am so proud of you… but I’m worried.”

Bruce looked down at the ground, eyes feeling heavy again. “I know… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, not at all.” Alfred soothed, giving his boy a hug. “Just… for a little while, allow me to be a parent and help you re-learn habits to take care of yourself?” He asked with a slight teasing tone.

Bruce finally managed a huff of a laugh as he hugged him back. “I guess I need a little bit of that…” He conceded.

He still hated it. But he knew… deep down the path he had been on would lead him here eventually… but this was his chance to take a new path instead, now physically knowing he couldn’t brute force himself down the old path.

He stood slowly, wiping at his face as he let go of Alfred. “Hiding in bed for a while does sound nice.” He admitted.

“I’ll bring up some hot chocolate in a while if you’d like, perhaps an extra blanket?” Alfred offered.

Bruce sniffled, face feeling gross from all the panic and crying. “I’d… like that a lot actually… thank you..” He admitted.

He began stripping out of the batsuit, ready to go upstairs to collapse for a bit before pausing.

His first thought was not to bother him, Clark had been on a outer space mission…. But well… he may have already tried to check in at hearing Bruce’s heartbeat become irregular.

Maybe… maybe just this once…

“Alfred… could.. could you also call Clark for me? If … he’s around… I… um…”

“Of course… I’ll notify him immediately.”

“Thank you Alfred.”

Bruce finally went upstairs, finding his bed and collapsing onto it, only groaning as he realized he forgot to take his shoes off and change clothing.

Warm

Bruce had drunk his hot chocolate and buried himself in a cocoon under the blankets, curling his knees up to his chest and hugging them. He’d completely pulled all of the blankets from the edge of the bed to cover himself in a sort of mini-cave. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been buried under there, alone with his thoughts when he heard familiar large footsteps enter the room and the bed dip as Clark sat beside him.

“Hey B.” Clark said so sweetly and softly

Bruce physically let out a sigh of relief at his presence. He couldn’t will himself to speak but he moved his hand and lifted the edge of the covers, unable to help a small smile as he saw Clark’s head tilting to look down at him like a giant puppy dog that had just heard a squeaky toy.

He wanted to say “I’m glad you’re here, I missed you.” But he was once again having trouble speaking, so instead he reached his hand out and slowly put it on top of Clark’s hand.

“Hi.” He said, realizing his voice sounded a little weak.

“How are you feeling?” Clark asked, taking Bruce’s hand tightly in his.

“Not good.” He mumbled honestly.

He felt Clark kiss his knuckles. Why was this man just a walking beefy bag of sugar???

“What do you need?” Clark asked quietly.

Bruce thought about it for a moment. He didn’t really know… but then…

“…get under here with me?” He mumbled, grateful Clark had super hearing because his voice was starting to go somewhere else.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Clark and his warmth wiggled under the covers with him. He was wearing a flannel shirt that Bruce had stolen quite a few times because it was unfairly soft and comforting. Clark poked the tip of Bruce’s nose with his own nose before moving up and kissing the Bat’s forehead.

Bruce then immediately put his arms around Clark and buried his head in the man’s chest. Yes… yes this was what he needed. Warmth… someone in the space he usually isolated himself in… He needed Clark by his side.

“I guess you want to know what happened.” Bruce said, voice muffled but once again feeling he had to explain himself.

“Not now… later… just relax B, you can tell me after you’ve had some time. I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

“…okay…”

Clark was now running a soothing hand up and down his back. He was so massive, could seem to other so imposing and intimidating… but really, he was so gentle… so patient, so loving…

Bruce didn’t know how he got so lucky.

“I love you so damn much…” He could have sworn he thought to himself.

Clark hugged him a little tighter. “I love you too B, Always, no matter what.”

He felt himself about to cry and have a release of pent up emotion again, but this time he didn’t try to hold back and let himself fall into what his mind was trying to tell him he needed to do. This was what he needed to allow himself space to do. It was terrifying… but it was necessary.

Clark was here, Clark was holding him, and he wasn’t going anywhere. It was warmth in every form. He wasn’t alone anymore; he didn’t have to be… it could be different.

And once again Clark had gifted him with the very thing that Superman stood for, on a deep level that caught him as he landed in this spot where he could no longer push himself into pretending he wasn’t affected.

Hope.

#batman #superman #superbat #bruce wayne #clark kent #Alfred Pennyworth #prompt fill #angst #hurt and comfort

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adhdeancas · 3 years

Text

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven

Special thanks to James @friedchickenangelwings for helping me out with this story. I can’t wait to write this. Read on AO3 here

Summary: Everything is the same up to the end of 15x20. Chuck has been “defeated,” but it was all a farce. When Jack absorbed Chuck, Chuck easily took over the 3 year old’s body and acted as if he were defeated. Chuck!Jack then had the Rusty Nail placed in the barn where Dean died, and with Cas gone, Dean didn’t fight it. Chuck did reimagine Heaven, but he’s fed the same lie to them all: that everything is perfect, they are free, they are in real paradise. Except it’s all an illusion insulated by blue skies and endless horizons. Because, just like the Good Place, people make Heaven into Hell for each other. And there’s nothing Chuck loves more than the natural order of tragedy. He “let it slip” to Bobby that he brought Cas back, when he really left him to rot in the Empty. Dean has to find his best friend before it’s too late, and he has to keep a happy face for everyone else, because Chuck is watching. Always watching.

Chapter One: Runnin’ on Empty

“Well, Cas helped.”

Dean’s heart flutters at that and he looks at Bobby. The damn old man raises his eyebrows; he knows he just buried the lead and he did it on purpose. A soft breath escapes him and he smiles. Maybe this is gonna be alright after all. Hell, maybe he can find that angel and…

“It’s a big new world out there. You’ll see.”

Dean’s stomach twists at the idea. I don’t wanna see. His stupid brain insists. He takes a swig of the beer in his hand to try to quiet the voice. “Oh, wow.” He recoils a bit and looks at it. “This tastes like the first drink I ever shared with my dad.” He shares a wry smile with Bobby. Drinks with Dad weren’t exactly top-tier, and they both knew it.

“Quality stuff?”

Dean’s smiling because he feels like he should be. “Nah, it’s crap.” He tries to shift that memory into a good thing, because his memory of his first beer is the crushing doubt and fear that swirled around his head. Finally, he’d done something right enough to earn a beer like a Man, but he still felt… broken.

He feels the same now.

Maybe it’s because he’d really just wanted a hug.

But Bobby is waiting for him to say something. Dean focuses instead on the surface-level joy of that old mid-evening beer, the pride in his dad’s eyes, trying to drum up the feeling. “But it was fantastic.”

“Just like this.”

“It’s almost perfect.” Dean manages. He wants Bobby to agree. He wants Bobby to say ‘Yeah, I know, something just ain’t right, can’t put my finger on it,’ but he doesn’t. He lets the silence drag on for a second longer before he fills it.

“He’ll be along.” Dean’s heart jumps, but then he realizes he’s talking about Sam. Not Cas. But he doesn’t want Sam up here anytime soon; he wants Sam to live a nice life with Eileen, like he promised. “Time up here, it’s different. You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream. So I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?”

It kinda feels like when Jack was born and Cas was dead and Sam wanted to go to strip clubs and listen to Zeppelin and eat at the greasiest holes-in-the-wall. Like he had everything he was supposed to want laid right out in front of him, but… none of it made Dean feel anything. He looks around, searching for inspiration, and his eyes land on home. Things always look clearer when he's looking out at ‘em through Baby’s windshield. “I think I’ll go for a drive.”

“Have fun.”

He leaves the acrid beer with Bobby and climbs into his car. Maybe he’s insane, but she feels.. different. He is insane. He is in heaven. “Get it together, Dean.” he mutters to himself as he pulls away. Bobby mentioned that his parents are nearby but… Dean doesn't want to face that yet. Nothing to fix your existential crisis about Heaven like a neat talk with your disappointed parents.

He keeps to the main road instead. He drives for an hour, maybe two, at least that’s what it feels like. From what Bobby said, time isn’t so straightforward here. That only scares him a little bit. Eventually, his brain seems to calm down enough to think clearly. He’d chosen this. He’d accepted this. And he’d meant what he’d said in that barn; he was okay with dying. Of course, he didn’t realize that meant… He didn’t realize that meant more.

A little voice inside him whispers something evil. He’d just wanted to see Cas again. Even in memories. Like it was before…

He takes a deep breath. “I’m not gonna fuck it up. It’s heaven. I can’t fuck it up in heaven, right?” He laughs out loud to himself, but it’s cut off by Baby groaning underneath him. She starts to slow. “Baby? What the hell?”

She’s out of gas.

Dean grumbles as he pulls over. “Sonuvvabitch, what the-” He almost said what the hell. He’s in heaven. Nothing in hell. Heh. She rolls to a stop and he kills the engine, letting the new silence and stillness wash over him. He sighs. Heaven, huh?

He scrubs a hand across his back and looks over to his right, to an onion field. Yellow and pokey and-

Cas is standing in the middle of it.

Dean just about has a heart attack. He scrambles out of the car, honks Baby’s horn in the process, is all the way around the car by the time he really sees him.

Cas looks terrible. He’s standing stock-still in the middle of the field, arms down at his sides, crumpled trench coat speckled with the black sludge that haunts Dean’s nightmares. His hair is matted, his face gaunt, eyes sunken in with bags dark as bruises. But what scares Dean the most is the look in his eyes. His eyelids droop and hang and he stares straight ahead, straight at Dean, without seeing him, without any light in them at all.

It doesn’t look like Cas.

“Cas?” Dean approaches slowly, hands held out like he would to a wild animal. Cas shows no sign of moving, just stands there. “Cas, look at me, man,” There’s pleading in his voice, but he doesn’t care. He needs Cas to be okay.

Castiel is not okay.

As Dean gets closer, he starts to hear screams and crashes. He twists around to look for the source, but it just seemed to come from… around Cas. He looks closer, and Cas’s hands move to fend something off he can’t see. He’s still just staring ahead, but, looking closer at Cas’s face, he sees something he hadn’t noticed before.

Cas is talking. Well, muttering really. Dean can barely hear him through the pauses in far-off yells. “d-Dea-Dean. Dean- de-Dean.” Dean stomach drops off a cliff. “Dean, just think of… D-du-Dean.”

“I’m here, Cas.” Fuck the rasp in his voice. Fuck the tears in his eyes. Cas can’t hear him. He can tell by the look in his eyes. “FUCK!”

He rubs his eyes with his fists furiously. This is so frustrating, this is so-

There is no one there. No sound. Cas is gone.

Dean strides ahead, but it’s no use. The field is empty, and he is alone. Again.

It takes Dean a few minutes before he can get himself under control. Cas isn’t there; he has to assume he never had been, not really. So, unless Dean has finally gone off the deep end, it was… what, a vision? A- god, it felt familiar. It felt like - it felt like after purgatory. The same haunted face, the same unseeing eyes. Gone in a blink.

Why am I seeing you again, man?

But, as sure as he is that there is grass on the ground, he knows Cas can’t hear him.

Dean sits up against his fender and sighs. On the one hand, he is sitting on warm clear asphalt, feeling the afternoon sun bake his face, and on the other, he is miserable and seeing his dead-alive-again best friend. Except if Cas was around, he would come see him. Right? I mean, Dean died. So young. And Cas just told him-

And Dean is praying to him. And he’s not here. It’s not right. None of it is. That he is sure about. If this was heaven, he didn’t want it.

Dean gets up. Will he ever get some motherfucking peace? He gets in his car, tries the ignition. She starts up again and - miracle of miracles - has gas. He thanks her with a pat and they're off, riding into the eerily-perfect sunset, back the way they came.

Night’s fallen by the time he pulls into the dirt pathway. He parks on the lawn and shivers a little bit in the chill of the night. Funny, he wouldn’t think Heaven got cold. But then again, he wouldn’t have thought Heaven would be shitty either. The roadhouse is inviting and homey, lights on inside. Dean snags a beer from the cooler left out front and kicks the door open softly. “Hello?” He doesn’t know who he’s expecting, but it definitely wasn’t who he gets.

“Dean!” Charlie wraps him in a hug before he can say anything, and Dean gladly melts into it. God, it’s good to see her. He pulls away and pats her cheek, checking her out. She looks good, normal. Less… dead and bloody than he last saw her? Jesus his mind is a dark place.

“Hey kid! How the hell are you?”

Charlie rolls her eyes at the greeting, but she can’t stop grinning. “All things considering, y’know, being dead and all, I’m good!”

Dean laughs. She’s already rambling, and he missed her. “Sorry about that one,” he winces, remembering his part in the circumstances around her death.

Charlie chooses to take it as a condolences. “Yeah, you too, dude. But at least we died young and hot, right?” She tugs him over to the bar and leans around to yell at the scuffed doorway. “Ash! We got company?”

Dean’s eyes widen. “Ash? You guys know each other?”

“Can’t keep geniuses like us apart, compadre,” Dr. BadAss comes out of his backroom, arms spread out in greeting. Dean can’t stop himself from greeting him with a hug. He hadn’t known who to expect here, but Ash and Charlie are just about best case scenario. “What’re you doing here?”

Dean knows he means how he died, but he looks around anyway. The rest of the bar is quiet and still, and Dean can hear nothing outside the heavy doors either. “I think we gotta problem, Ash.”

Ash’s face folds into a frown. “What kinda problem?” Dean feels Charlie press in and he glances at her suddenly-serious face.

“A big one. A heaven sized one.” They all looked around skeptically, a little Scooby-Doo-like, taking in the lifeless room around them. Finally, Ash meets Dean’s eyes, and Dean withdraws a little.

“Yeah, we know. Welcome to the team, Deano.”

Tag list: @dochunterwitch @justonecitizenoftheearth @gnbrules @purpe @castiel-is-a-cat

#fanfic #my writing #destiel #deancas #15x20 coda #coda #fix it fic #sunset sound #sunset sound: stairway to heaven #runnin' on empty #chapter 1 #dean winchester #ash #castiel #charlie bradbury #bobby singer

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alphasmoonlit-selfships · 3 years

Note

Got curious uwu, from two different ask meme:

⚠️ and 🍄

“Why hello @shinitai-i !” Atsushi greeted with a wide smile, his belt tail swishing, “Thank you for the asks! This time an answer from both Dany and I! We appreciate your patience and hope you enjoy our answers!” — 🐯🌙

“Curiosity is grand! Let’s jump right in shall we?” — 🐺✨

⚠️ have you and S/I ever been caught in an embarrassing/"It's not what it looks like" situation? Please tell us what happened.

Oh no… ah o(*////▽////*)q...

Well, I’d be lying if I said no,,, eh he…but ah surprisingly the first thing that came to mind might not be what others could be thinking.

I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to just explain what happened. The main point being Dany and I were caught in a semi-naked state… Nothing like what you may be assuming, I swear! It was a deep, and just intimate, private moment before reality came slamming back >\\\\\\\>

I know most of you may be thinking it was a suggestive and funny moment, but it was rather serious prior to us being spooked soon after. I’ll try and keep some of the details vague and light as I can! Minor warning to past abuse and other indications, again, I'll leave as much of it vague as I can, but feel free to skip over to the last question, no worries!

We had just came back from a very serious mission that left both of us in a very heavily injured state. While my ability does help in self-healing a lot, sometimes the over exertion of it can slow it down. Dany has always struggled with her healing ability… especially due to her Shadow ability draining her more than heal.

Even so, we would have gone with Yosano-Sensei, but she was out on her own errands when we came back. We were told to just wait for her and get some rest in the patient room until she returned.

Ah, needless to say, we were concerned over each other’s injuries, and had some knowledge from Yosano-Sensei’s advice on basic aid. So we figured we could try and clean up some deeper cuts and try to wrap them up. Hopefully enough to keep away from Yosano-sensei’s usual treatments 😅

Just to note, Dany and I were definitely a few months into our relationship; we had become a generally sweet and foolishly in love and comfortable couple together and hadn’t done anything too intimate (…despite occasional nudges from our abilities ‘>>). So to say we were hesitant to remove at least our button-ups was an understatement…

We were both wary and embarrassed, we had never been semi-naked around each other before; but also just individually concerned on what the other thought. Especially when it came to old lingering scars of our pasts. Danielle definitely more than I…

Eventually, we both kind of just slowly let ourselves take that leap and removed our layers, enough to show the serious wounds that needed to be healed. Mine of course weren’t so bad and were starting to get better with help from my tiger ability. So that left mostly Dany to be treated and bandaged up.

Hers we’re definitely more serious and she needed to remove the rest of her blouse to really see her wounds. She was more tense and in a trembling panic at the time… I felt bad for being the cause of her nervousness. Though she has since reminded me that it wasn’t really me, but how she viewed herself and the scars that remained.

Eventually, with enough comforting words and settled with her own choice, she removed her layers.

…I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, definitely not the amount of scar marks that actually ran along her back and shoulders. Some long and small, some more darker than the others that are faded and silvery from age.

The moment of surprise and questions that wanted to fall from my tongue had came to a halt when I realized Dany was clearly struggling to hide her rising stress. She’s always been self conscious about herself and I never really pressed her on things she wasn’t comfortable talking about. At least not anytime soon at the time…

Of course I didn’t press, I knew a surface level of what she had dealt with before she was found by the Guild. But I couldn’t help but feel…angry at whoever had done this to her. My tiger was definitely far aggravated under my skin I’m sure she could sense it… but I kept my cool enough to help clean current wounds that she was struggling to heal with.

The silence felt like a long time, before Dany broke it herself. It seemed like I didn’t have to wait long for an explanation, as she bluntly stated how she received such marks.

I’ll leave a lot of it to the imagination…but the deep reflection about this bit of her past was enough to bring me to tears. It.. pained me to see Dany so melancholy and almost apathetic about the situation she had been under. Similar to how I’ve often seen Dazai-san’s own expression to things he’s reflected on from his past. Hell, even me to a fault during really bad days.

It was like she was a trance-like state, she honestly barely registered much of what I tried to say out of comfort and almost frustration towards her tormentors that had convinced her of something that was out of her control. It wasn’t until I calmed down a little when focusing on some scars on her upper back and shoulders that I decided on a different form of comfort.

I had placed a lingering kiss on her shoulder, directly onto one of the longer scars there; it definitely snapped her out of her daze then, practically breathing sharply from surprise. I pressed a few more before uttering some words of comfort that definitely brought Dany to tears. Likely from the very intimate kiss upon old wounds and from pent up emotions she’s hidden away for a long time without telling anyone.

I brought her into my arms then to hold her close in warm comfort, not really paying mind to our semi-clothed state. I merely wanted to offer her love and warm validation that she had been needing to hear, especially from me. I understand what that feels like and she’s always been there for me prior to our relationship and so many times after. I reminded her of how much I loved her and wanted to always love her despite such past hurts. Much like she has with me 💖

I gave her plenty of kisses, some lingering ones and others to draw her to laugh and out of her sadness. Thankfully, it worked after a few tickling ones… giving her a lasting one on her lips...before...

Well, the moment was ruined to say the least ། – _ – ། with Yosano-sensei, Dazai-san and Kunikida-kun walking in on…Well, us in our semi-naked state… and clearly noting we had just pulled away from a kiss...

Of course, we weren’t expecting them, so we both jumped out of our skins as soon as the door opened. My first instinct was to cover up Dany with the thin sheets out of respect for her and also knowing how intimate showing her scars was. Poor Dany practically hid midway under her shadow ability, but couldn’t entirely cause of her exhausted state..

…anyway the amount of scolding we got from Kunikida-kun was a mile long and I’m sure he would have strangled me for being indecent with Dany at the Agency, despite our relationship status. Of course, I say would have had Yosano-sensei not pulled on his ear for being such a parent… Dazai-san wouldn’t leave either of us alone for a week, especially without making a few innuendos when alone with me… 😓

Thankfully, Yosano-sensei was the only one not so overwhelming, but it’s not like we avoided her giving us a reminder of the Talk and giving us..well means of protection because of the situation…;>//////> I’m sure she has some level of understanding, considering she did give Danielle a check up prior to her joining the Agency, but wanted to just tease us for the fun of it..

Ah, but yeah, a bit heavy if a topic for something that was probably meant to be funny or even suggestive (U////▽////U)''. But regardless, if that moment is ever brought up, Dany and I do laugh with a bit of a look of soft comfort between each other. No one else needs to know the moment and understanding we felt in that point of our relationship. So everyone can continue to think otherwise if they want.

What matters is the moment before with my Darling and myself more than anything. 💞 🌸

🍄: Do you and your FO follow any familial or cultural traditions together?

Dany: Oh, traditions you say? 🤔 We do follow a few from our respective cultures. I try my hardest to keep up with memories of my mum’s traditions from our Hispanic/Latino heritage. Such as the food, recipes that I have long forgotten, but have gradually began to recall. I definitely researched how to make certain dishes I remember her making with the taste or flavor or ingredients it had.

Sometimes we try and mix up the foods in our cultures to have a variety of choices and cuisine! I’ve definitely made tamalés, with help from a chief that knew how to make the food, for the winter season. Sharing it with the Agency, to which I am really grateful that everyone really enjoyed it! ;;;w;;; thank god, I was very anxious they wouldn't or it came out bad ;;;v;;;

My mother definitely celebrated Día de los Muertos, I remember we had a small ofrenda in an extra room in my old cottage home. It was tiny compared to ones I’ve seen, considering my parents didn’t have much living family at the time and it was mostly just us…but anyway, present time. Atsushi definitely was curious about the holiday and give enough encouragement to me to try and replicate something similar to what my parents use to have. Some in Japan have tiny shines dedicated to family members and vary in size depending on the family.

Atsushi surprised me with a small casing box to dedicate to my passing parents…I had no lasting photos of them since I was a child. But he managed to find some individual photos of them from a report database, along with a family photo likely from whatever remained at my old home and investigators at the time found. All with Ranpo-kun’s intellect and help (the amount of praise and gratitude I gave him for it still is true uwu, and I give him plenty sweets in thanks).

Needless to say, I was very emotional and a crying mess when he did this for me. We both give our graces and often reflect a bit by the little ofrenda/shrine casing. I tell him a lot about how my parents would have loved to meet him and undoubtedly welcome him without any hesitation. Especially my dad, who was a shapeshifting animal gifted and had a favorite animal in the form of a falcon and a tiger too. Atsushi warms up a lot hearing that.

We’ve also celebrated the Lunar New Year too! That one was definitely new to me and had no idea on the festivities it entailed. We attended some of the festivals in Yokohama during the time with the Agency, the warm atmosphere and bustling energy has been beautiful and look forward to it. More so than the normal new year, keke.

Also the sakura blossom viewings are beautiful to see, very sweet and romantic if I may say… 😊🌸 we’ve taken a small boat ride though a canal that is littered with the blooms or taken a stroll and sat together under the beautiful view 💖 (❤ ω ❤). Definitely my favorite time, and I have collected blossoms to take home for the ofredna/shrine for my parents. I even made a lamination of one for safe keeping. 🌸 Definitely one of my favorite times of the year, the next being crisp autumn 🍂 !

The art provided is a commission by @/moon-fish-ghost and captures the awe and ethereal atmosphere during the sakura blossom viewing! It is truly a beautiful and romantic experience to have with my Darling 🌸🥰 she looks so beautiful in her wear 🌸💖 and love seeing her hair in a braid 💞🥰

Thank you again for the asks! We truly appreciated them and hope you enjoy these long winded asks! We try to make them as concise as we can, but sometimes we just dive into too much detail. We hope you understand. May you have a beautiful rest of your day! —Atsushi 🐯🌙

#bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #atsudany #danielle mika mason #self shipping #self shipping ask game #f/o takeover asks #self ship community #tag: we are of the moon and stars my dear #tiger roars 🐯🌙#alpha howls

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.6}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 1.4k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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A glimpse into the fifth week of travels (or the fourth week of July):

"This place is incredible!" Robin marveled at the high columns and the even higher ceiling that spanned out so far into the distance that it was too dark to see. She was impressed beyond measure, taken aback by the sheer size and grandeur even though she couldn't see all of the hall they had just entered. And a hall it really seemed to be, like the open space of a cathedral, but ancient, underground, and filled to a third at least with deep black water. The only dry space posed the stairs at the edge of the grand room, which were running along the wall from the high entrance level down to the deep blackness. That was where they were currently descending to.

"Fascinating indeed." Snape replied in equal curiosity about the unique place, as he followed Robin down the narrow staircase, all the way down to where it led into the water. "Do you think it has always been flooded like this?"

"I honestly have no idea. Neither do I know how a ten foot fish is supposed to live down here, nor how it's gotten to this place."

"Well, what do you know about this place then?"

"Not much, admittedly. I only read about its existence in a book that's older than I even care to admit, as well as some specifics about the living conditions in places like this in the country."

"Places like this? I sincerely doubt there are other places like this anywhere in the world at all."

"Well… not exactly like this, of course. But water and darkness and no movement nor exchange of streams… that's probably close enough." Robin replied softly, but even in their quiet tones, their voices echoed off the high stone ceiling and distant walls in an eerie manner. In addition to the lumos' bright but cold toned greenish light, the entire place had an otherworldly feel to it in general. Like it wanted to swallow them with its darkness, and their little bubble of light served as their only protection.

"So tell me, why exactly didn't you want to tell me what exactly today's method is going to look like? Acquiring a giant fish's scale surely isn't as easy as simply 'going fishing'." Snape inquired as they reached the edge of the water, and he observed with a curious frown how Robin simply dropped her backpack on a higher step in the security of the dry.

"You wouldn't have believed me if I had told you, so I'll just have to show you." Robin replied in amusement, smirking to herself for making things a mystery for once. This was one of her newest theories, she had only come up with it in the first week of summer while bored at her parents' house. In that sense, it was as unrefined as it would get. And yet here they were, seeing as finding the right place at least had proven to be a success. Hopefully the next step would, too. "And I haven't really tried this before either, so consider it a Plan A, for now."

"You never cease to build suspense…" He sighed in return, and his frown only grew when Robin took off her boots and socks and placed them next to her bag. "...and you never cease to confuse me either; what exactly are you doing? Certainly not going for a swim in that blackness, which is inhabited by who knows which horrors, are you?"

"I don't have a deathwish, no." Robin laughed in return, and gave him one of her most reassuring smiles. "I just want to try out something. If it doesn't work, we can go over to Plan B, alright?"

"Fine."

"Would you, uh…" Now there was the part where Robin could technically do it alone, but honestly didn't want to. Her heart was beating faster than it should anyhow, and asking for help, even if for this kind of help, certainly wouldn't change that for the better. "Would you give me your hand? Please?"

After two seconds of surprise or confusion, or both perhaps, Snape did as she had asked without a comment and Robin held onto him tightly as she took a deep breath. Really, holding his hand never ceased to overwhelm her senses with rushes of energy and tingles. But they were here to work, and she had asked to hold his hand for entirely professional reasons. Well, almost entirely… She tried to ignore it either way and went on with the plan. For a short moment she focused on the spell she had come up with those few weeks ago, took another deep breath, and then took one large step forward into the water. Or rather, onto the water.

An instantaneous relief overcame her as she saw that it actually had worked, she was standing on top of the water's surface just as she had planned. A few reluctant steps around the staircase on top of the deep water confirmed that her spell was working perfectly fine, and yet she still stayed close enough to still hold onto Snape's hand. Bloody hell, she really could walk on water. Amazing! With the biggest smile on her face, she looked up from her rolled up jeans and naked feet to Snape in front of her, who only seemed beyond surprised at what he saw.

"Impressed?" Robin couldn't help asking with a smirk, and she positively noted how it was him now who held onto her hand tightly. Perhaps he was afraid she would go under and vanish after all…

"How?" Was all he asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Well, you see, when I thought of this spell I had some inspiration from my parents' guests from the US… Very religious people, they keep talking about God and Jesus all day, and I'm sure you can see the connection to the spell there. And from that point forth, it really was only a day's worth of research." She shrugged with the very same smile as before. "The spell freezes the surface of the water in time. Or to start explaining at the beginning, I had to think of skipping tones over the water. They touch the surface for a very brief time only, and therefore they don't go under. To recreate that effect I would either have to be really really fast…"

"Or to slow the water down." He added with a sincerely impressed expression that made no secret of his utmost fascination, and perhaps even a little admiration as well. "How are you even able to mess with time? I haven't got the slightest idea about it, and neither should you."

"I researched time turners. Someone had to make them at some point, which means that there had to be spells to mess with time. Admittedly, reducing the effect to one specific thing, and especially something as vague as the surface of the water, was a bit more complicated, but still nothing I couldn't do in a day."

"Why am I even surprised by anything you do at this point…" He sighed, and then reluctantly let go of Robin's hand when she let go in return. She stayed standing on the water, which was a good sign, and even took a step further into the room, over the mirroring blackness below. Still, the concerned frown never left his face even as she turned back around to him. He opened and closed his mouth to speak a few times, before at last words came out along with it. "Be careful, yes?"

"Of course. But if it suddenly stops working for some reason, and I go under and drown, you'll get me out, right?" Robin asked while taking a few more careful steps over the water. Really, these questions were merely a method of reassuring herself; she knew the answer, but she still needed to hear it. "Because I really don't care for a run-in with any of the beasts living down there. If I mess up, you'll have my back as always… right?"

"Of course I will. As always."

"Good… Thank you."

"And what do you plan on doing now?"

Robin looked up at him once more, smirking already at the thought. "Now, I'm going to steal a giant fish's shiny scale."

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Tags:

@ayamenimthiriel @chibi-lioness @t-sunnyside @alex4555 @purpledragonturtles @istrugglewithphilosophy @meghan-maria @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall

General Tags:

@wegingerangelica @dreary-skies-stuff @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @createdfromblue @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929 @iamverity @lovesmesomehiddles @akk4rin @whitewolfandthefox @stuckupstucky @kassablanca13 @delightfulheartdream @hayalee8 @bluewneptune @lemonmochitea

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lifeofroos · 3 years

Text

ToN Spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Part 1 of another three-part arc in Nico’s therapy journey.

This Might Be Crazy: Vanilla Milkshake

Don’t you see?

Stop it, there is nothing to see.

You hurt all of your friends.

Shut up.

Just face the truth. You belong with us more than we do.

My eyes flew open. I looked up at the ceiling above my bed. At first it was a bit of a blur, but it quickly got clearer. This was not the first time it had happened, so I knew what to do.

I rolled out of bed and walked to my closet, where I kept a small stash of Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice Boxes. With one in my hand, I walked to the most shadowy place of my cabin. You’ve asked for help way too often. He is fed up with it by now. Shush. I clenched my fist around the juice box and stepped into the shadows.

I stepped out behind the potted plant that stood in front of Dionysus’ bedroom. ‘Dionysus? I need help,’ I asked, while knocking on the door. The first time I had been here, I had been terrified. Terrified because of the voices in my head that wouldn’t let me sleep and terrified because I was about to bother the god of madness in his sleep. By now, I was used to it.

I heard Dionysus stumble around behind the door. A few seconds later, he stuck his head out of the room. ‘Do you want to go straight to Denny’s?’

‘Yes, please.’ Denny’s radiated weird energy, even more so around two thirty A.M. Still, I had come to associate the place with therapy sessions. It just worked better there.

‘Then we’ll go.’

A blinding light, and the next moment we were at Denny’s. The usual server, Mary, was standing behind the counter. She looked up from her novel for a moment. ‘Hey.’ She slightly bowed her head to Dionysus, before she disappeared into the kitchen. Dionysus walked over to our regular booth. I quickly followed.

‘So. I am assuming the voices have been whispering to you in your sleep again.’

Whispering? They screamed. ‘Yes. But that is not really what I want to talk about. You’ve taught me how to silence them, so that I can go back to sleep after they wake me up. Right now I want to talk about what they are saying, because they keep going on about a real fear of mine.’

‘Alright. We’ll do that.’ Even though it is two A.M. and tomorrow I have to take care of a camp full of brats again, his eyes were saying. Yet, he did not say it out loud. ‘What is this fear?’

‘That I hurt the people around me.’ So, the easy, surface-level part was out. Now I needed to gain enough courage to talk about the second part.

I was quiet for so long that Dionysus felt the need to ask another question: ‘Are you afraid they will walk away because you hurt them?’

I shrugged. ‘I think… that is only a small part of it. A larger part of it is that… I’ll hurt them, but they will still stick around…’ I shrugged for a moment, while trying to find the words that seemed correct, ‘...even though I am a toxic influence on them.’ I looked down at the table.

‘What makes you think you are a toxic influence on people?’

Before I could answer, Mary came towards us, with a Vanilla milkshake. ‘With extra ice-cream.’

I smiled. ‘Thanks, Mary.’

‘My experience is that ice-cream helps wtth curing stuff.’ She got a serious expression in her eyes and nodded a couple of times (Mary was a daughter of Aphrodite. I assumed ice-cream had helped with quite a bit of heartbreak). ‘I’ve never seen anybody who didn’t feel better after eating ice-cream,’ I told her.

She smiled and walked back to the counter, to read her novel and be bored again.

I took a sip of my milkshake. It was cold and sweet and creamy. ‘Well I… Sometimes I lock people out when I am upset, even Will.’

‘Don’t you think that Solace knows that about you, respects your wishes when it happens and loves you regardless?’

I shrugged. ‘I try to tell myself that, but that’s so difficult.’ I shrugged again and took another sip of my milkshake. Yum.

Dionysus kept looking at me. ‘You have a natural talent for friendship, Nico,’ he said after a bit of thinking. I raised my eyebrows. ‘I have what? I am a son of Hades.’

‘So? I thought you did not judge yourself on who your parent is.’

‘Still!’

‘You managed to make friends with the troglodytes, I heard…’ how did he know that? ‘...That is quite impressive, even to me. I don’t know how you did that…’ he let the sentence linger in the air. I assumed he was thinking about how he would make friends with the troglodytes. ‘...and you managed to make most campers a lot less distrustful of children of Hades. You did not hear it from me, but the same goes for a lot of gods. And for Lester. Even they trust you.’

‘Including Zeus?’

‘We don't go around picking the rotten apples and presenting those as if it is the whole crop.’ I wondered how many extra punishment years as a camp director he gained from saying those words. ‘Well, if you are certain…’

Glass shattered. I heard growling. I jumped out of my chair and turned around. I could see a few shapes by the door. Mary came running from behind the counter, armed with a gun. Dionysus stayed in the background, seemingly debating whether destroying the creatures was against the ancient laws or not.

And the creatures… What were they? I could not tell. They had big, slimy beaks and bulging eyes. Whatever they were, It did not look like they could be reasoned with.

Mary aimed her gun at one of them. She fired, and one of the things went down. She fired again, and managed to take down the other one as well. The third one, however, dodged her bullets and got further into the Denny’s at a freakishly high speed.

Mary took a few steps back while grinding her teeth. I took a step forward, not really sure what to do without a weapon. Just as it was about to bite me, I stuck out my hand - stupid? Yes. Did it work? Also yes, because as soon as I touched the creature its hide and soft tissue began to melt away, until only its bones remained.

It took a few seconds until the horror dawned on me. By that time, Dionysus had gotten closer to me. ‘Nico…’

‘What…’

‘Nico…’

‘What did I just…’

‘Come, it’s…’

‘I just…’ I sunk to the ground. I heard Mary gasp in the background. My eyes darted over to the bones of the creature. They were still standing, like the creature was still there. I could swear I saw them move.

Until Dionysus made it disappear, I could not tear my eyes away from the bones. ‘Come, Nico. The monsters are gone.’

The monster is never gone. For you are still here. You turned a living creature into a pile of bones! Isn’t that something only a true monstrosity would do?

I did not have the strength to reason with the voice. They were right. They were so, so right. I was a monster and I was a danger to my friends. Imagine if I… if I would… tear their skin away…

I couldn’t even breath. From the corner of my eye, I could see Mary coming closer. ‘Nico…’

‘Stay away. Stay far, far away. I might…’ She stopped walking, seemingly unsure of what to do.

‘Nico di Angelo. You are having a panic attack,’ I heard Dionysus say in a calm voice. ‘Try to breath, deeply…’ I did not. Why would I? ‘Come on.’ You can’t make me. He came closer. ‘Get away.’

‘What are you going to do, kill me?’

I might not. But perhaps you will have to live further as nothing but a pile of bones.

The world will turn to bones around you.

‘The… the world will…’

‘Nico di Angelo. I am giving you one last chance. Try to take a deep, deep breath. Try to get calmer.’

My entire body was shaking. Dionysus’ face appeared in front of mine. I could only focus on his eyes. Soon, my entire field of vision was a pool of swirling purple. It got darker, little by little, until the world was black.

#Tower of nero #pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Dionysus #trials of apollo #denny's #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #writeblogging #writeblr

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abusybuzzingbee · 4 years

Text

Skin | Supernatural Season 1 Episode 6 Rewrite | Dean x Fem!Reader

A/N: this gif is SAUCY i should not find it as attractive as I do

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Major Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Warnings: canon level violence, language, Dean and the reader being assholes to each other TW: shifter calls the reader some pretty terrible things that may be triggering to some readers. if you tend to have self-deprecating thoughts, you may not want to read this episode. also, heavy topics mentioned in a fight between Dean and the reader

Word Count: 7,547

Summary: The boys and the reader head to St. Louis, Missouri when Sam gets an email about one of his college buddies. Tensions continue to rise between Dean and the reader following their dispute in Toledo, Ohio.

Series Masterlist

Season 1 Masterlist

Click here for the series playlist!

Dean unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face Sam. “Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.”

Sam did not respond to him.

“Sam wears women’s underwear.”

“I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy,” Sam answered, never looking up from his phone as he scrolled through it.

“Busy doin’ what?”

“Reading e-mails.”

The older brother got out of the car and began to fill up the Impala’s gas tank. “E-mails from who?”

“From my friends at Stanford.”

“You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?”

“Why not?” Sam shrugged.

“Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?”

“I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.”

“Oh, so you lie to ‘em.”

You picked at your nails as you sat in the backseat. “What else is he supposed to do? Say, ‘Hey, I’m hunting ghosts’?”

“I get why he’s lying, I’m not tellin’ him to tell the truth.”

Sam looked over to Dean. “So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?”

Dean shrugged.

“You’re serious?”

“Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period,” Dean answered.

“Oh, whatever.” You flopped back onto the leather seat.

"You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?” Sam told his brother.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean shook his head.

The younger Winchester went back to his emails.

“God…” he trailed off.

“What?”

“In this e-mail from this girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine.”

“Is she hot?”

You scoffed. “Really, Dean?”

“I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack,” Sam explained. “She says Zack’s been charged with murder. He’s been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn’t do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case.”

Dean paused. “Dude, what kind of people are you hangin’ out with?”

"No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.”

"Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.”

“They’re in St. Louis. We’re goin’.”

Dean leaned down into the passenger’s side window, chuckling, “Look, sorry ‘bout your buddy, okay? But this does not sound like our kind of problem.”

“It is our problem,” Sam argued. “They’re my friends.”

“St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, guys.”

“So?” you questioned.

You and Dean exchanged annoyed looks before he got in the car and pulled away.

***

“Dude, this house belongs in the Hills,” you told Sam as you took in the large two-story house that sat on a beautifully manicured lawn.

He chuckled at your comment. “This one’s no big deal compared to some of my other friends’ houses. You should’ve seen Jess’s parents’ house.”

You smiled faintly. “I bet it was beautiful.”

Sam nodded, mirroring your expression. He knocked on the wood of the large front door which opened to reveal a pretty girl with blonde hair.

“Oh my God, Sam!” she exclaimed.

“Well, if it isn’t little Becky,” he replied.

‘Little Becky?’ you thought.

“You know what you can do with that ‘little Becky’ crap,” she grinned. The two of them hugged.

“I got your e-mail,” he explained to her.

“I didn’t think that you would come here,” she said.

Dean took the opportunity to step in. “Dean. Older brother.” He extended his hand to her.

She shook it. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I’m (Y/N), I’m a family friend,” you said, effectively pulling her eyes away from Dean as you shook her hand. You were not about to watch him eye-fuck one of Sam’s friends.

“We’re here to help,” Sam told her. “Whatever we can do.”

“Come in.”

Becky led you three into the house.

“Nice place,” Dean commented as he looked around at the tall ceilings and seemingly expensive furniture.

“It’s my parents’. I was just crashing here for the long weekend when everything happened. I decided to take the semester off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free.”

“Where are your folks?”

“They live in Paris for half the year--” Becky replied.

‘Of course, they do. Wasps.’

“--so they’re on their way home now for the trial. Do you guys want a beer or something?” she asked as she led you into the kitchen.

The older Winchester smiled. “Hey--”

Sam cut him off. “No, thanks. So, tell us what happened.”

“Well, um, Zack came home, and he found Emily tied to a chair. And she was beaten up and bloody, and she wasn’t breathing.” Becky began to tear up. “So, he called 911, and the police—they showed up, and they arrested him. But, the thing is, the only way that Zack could’ve killed Emily is if he was in two places at the same time. The police—they have a video. It’s from the security tape from across the street. And it shows Zack coming home at 10:30. Now, Emily was killed just after that, but I swear, he was here with me, having a few beers until at least after midnight.”

“You know, maybe we could see the crime scene,” Sam suggested. “Zack’s house.”

“We could,” Dean agreed.

“Why? I mean, what could you do?”

“Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop.”

Dean laughed. “Detective, actually.”

‘Oh, great.’

“Really?” Becky’s eyes sparkled. “Where?”

“Bisbee, Arizona,” he lied."But I’m off-duty now.”

“You guys, it’s so nice to offer, but I just—I don’t know.”

Sam tried to convince her. “Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go get the keys.” She walked away from you three down the hall.

As soon as she was out of sight, Dean turned to his brother. “Oh, yeah, man, you’re a real straight shooter with your friends.”

“Look, Zack and Becky need our help,” Sam countered.

“I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.”

“Two places at once? We’ve looked into less.”

Dean still was not completely convinced.

“Sounds a little bit like our gig, Dean,” you pressed further.

He said nothing but looked defeated.

You and Sam smiled at each other.

***

You and the boys stood next to Becky by the Impala. You stared out at the small, white house blocked off by yellow and black tape.

“You’re sure this is okay?” Becky asked Dean.

“Yeah. I am an officer of the law.”

You rolled your eyes at Dean’s unconvincing tone. ‘Good grief.’

Dean led the way up to the house, ducking under the tape, followed by you and then Sam.

Despite how frequently you work jobs, the sight of a gruesome crime scene always made you sick to your stomach.

Blood was splattered everywhere. It stained the newspapers on the coffee table, the knocked-over lamp in the corner of the living room, and the picture frame that hung tilted to the side.

“Bec, you wanna wait outside?” Sam asked her as she stood on the other side of the tape.

You looked over at the young woman. She had one arm wrapped around her stomach and one hand over her heart. The blonde steeled herself despite her obvious discomfort. “No, I wanna help.”

“Tell us what else the police said,” Sam prompted.

“Well, there’s no sign of a break-in,” she started tearfully. “They say that Emily let her attacker in. The lawyers—they’re already talking about a plea bargain.” Becky looked around her, more tears rising to the surface as she did so. “Oh, God….”

“Look, Bec, if Zack didn’t do this, it means someone else did. Any idea who?”

The blonde shook her head, but then a look of remembrance crossed her face. “Um, there was something, about a week before. Somebody broke in here and stole some clothes—Zack’s clothes. The police—they don’t think it’s anything. I mean, we’re not that far from downtown. Sometimes people get robbed.”

Sam and Dean walked away from you and Becky. The blonde followed after Dean as he went to the front door. Apparently, he was looking at the neighbor’s dog as you gathered from what Becky told him next.

“You know, that used to be the sweetest dog.” She looked over his shoulder at the barking animal.

“What happened?” he asked.

"He just changed.”

“Do you remember when he changed?”

“I guess around the time of the murder.”

Dean looked back at her before walking away.

You went to the kitchen to meet Sam. He was looking at something posted to the fridge door.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” you asked the boy.

He gestured the picture in front of him. It was of himself, Zack, and Becky.

“You were really close to these guys, huh?”

“Yeah,” he nodded sadly.

“I’m sorry you had to leave all this behind,” you stated.

He shook his head. “It’s okay.”

Dean walked up behind you and his younger brother. “So, the neighbor’s dog went psycho right around the time Zack’s girlfriend was killed.”

“Animals can have a sharp sense of the paranormal,” Sam noted.

“Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’,” Dean affirmed.

“So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem?”

No. Probably not. But we should look at the security tape, you know, just to make sure.”

“You just can’t admit when you’re wrong, huh?”

“Nope,” he grinned.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

Becky walked over to you.

“So, the tape. The security footage—you think maybe your lawyers could get their hands on it, ‘cause I just don’t have that kind of jurisdiction,” Dean told her.

“I’ve already got it. I didn’t wanna say something in front of the cop,” she explained.

The older brother laughed.

“I stole it off the lawyer’s desk. I just had to see it for myself.”

“Right on,” you grinned.

***

Once you got back to Becky’s parents’ house, the four of you sat down to watch the security footage.

The screen showed the front of Zack’s house lit up in the dark night by the lights on either side of the door.

“Here he comes,” Becky said just as Zack appeared on screen.

Dean noted the timestamp. “22:04, that’s just after ten. You said time of death was about 10:30.”

“Our lawyers hired some kind of video expert. He says the tape’s authentic. It wasn’t tampered with.”

“Hey, Bec, can we take those beers now?” Sam questioned.

“Oh, sure,” she answered. She got up from the couch to go to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sam stopped her. “Maybe some sandwiches, too?”

“What do you think this is, Hooters?” she joked with a grin. She left the room shortly after.

“I wish,” Dean chuckled. “What is it?”

“Check this out.” Sam rewound the tape and replayed it. One of the frames showed Zack looking right at the camera, but his eyes had an unnatural silver color to them.

“Well, maybe it’s just a camera flare,” Dean pointed out.

“That’s not like any camera flare I’ve ever seen. You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul,” Sam began.

“Right,” you affirmed. “Remember how that dog completely freaked? Maybe he could sense this was some sort of a dark double of Zack’s.”

“Like a Doppelganger,” Sam added.

“Yeah. It’d sure explain how he was two places at once.”

***

Despite how you and Dean were not verbally attacking each other constantly, the tension between the two of you was stronger than ever. He did not trust you, and you were still pissed at him for what he said to you.

Back at the motel, you hoped a shower would help clear your mind. You turned the water on and began to sing to yourself.

‘Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and

Wouldn't you love to love her?’

You used to love listening to Fleetwood Mac with your mother. “Rihannon” was one of her favorite songs.

‘Takes to the sky like a bird in flight and

Who will be her lover?’

Both you and your mother had beautiful voices. The two of you loved to sing to one of her cassette tapes together. “Rihannon” was one of those songs that when you sang it with her it would make you feel genuine peace. With the life you led, moments of peace were few and far between.

‘All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind’

One of your favorite memories with your mother was riding in her beat-up station wagon on a highway in West Texas. The sun was just beginning to set, the windows were rolled down, and the wind whipped through your hair. The shadows of the dense trees on either side of the road made shapes appear on your face with patches of light shining through the holes in the shadows. You were sixteen at the time. The two of you took this rare moment alone to sing together, simply enjoying each other’s company.

‘Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?’

You scrubbed your scalp as you rinsed the soap out of your hair, closing your eyes in an attempt to bring yourself back to that day.

‘She is like a cat in the dark and then

She is the darkness

She rules her life like a fine skylark and when

The sky is starless’

If you could have your mom back, for even just a moment, maybe you would be able to feel that same peace again. You would feel safe and protected. The day before her passing was the last time you felt truly at peace.

‘All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind’

Tears clouded your vision and your throat constricted as you continued to sing.

‘Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?

Will you ever win?’

***

A loud knock on your door pulled you out of your deep sleep.

You jumped, grabbing for the gun you kept under your pillow. You cocked it, walked up to the door, and pressed the muzzle of the gun against it. You opened it with your opposite hand just a crack. To your surprise, it was Dean.

You slammed it back in his face.

“(Y/N), open the damn door,” he demanded unenthusiastically.

You did not, but put the safety back on your gun and threw it on your bed. “What do you want, asshole? It’s almost five in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that. Look, I don’t wanna be up either. It was Sam’s idea,” he explained.

You opened the door just a crack. “Okay, what does he want at almost five in the morning?”

“I don’t know, he just had a thought, I guess.” Despite the fact that you were asking completely fair questions, his tone showed he was clearly agitated. “Get dressed.”

***

“Alright, so what are we doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning?” Dean questioned. He leaned against the hood of the Impala which was parked outside of Zack’s house.

“I realized something,” Sam stated. “The videotape shows the killer goin’ in, but not comin’ out.”

You walked over to the younger of the two brothers who was across the street from the car. “So, he came out the back door?”

"Right. So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue.”

“‘Cause they think the killer never left, and they caught Zack inside,” you added.

“I still don’t know what we’re doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning,” Dean grumbled.

Both you and Sam chose to ignore him as you looked around outside of the building.

“Blood,” you noted as you looked at a smear on a wooden telephone pole. “Somebody came this way.”

“Yeah, but the trail ends. I don’t see anything over here,” he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

An ambulance blared its sirens as it sped down the street that separated you and Sam from Dean.

You looked up at Sam, who exchanged a knowing look with Dean.

Dean drove the three of you over to where you assumed the ambulance was coming from. He parked a few houses down from a house that was surrounded by police cars. One policeman was covering the house with yellow and black tape.

You got out of the Impala, watching as a man in a suit was handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car.

Dean walked a few paces ahead of you, stopping next to one of the onlookers. She looked as if she had been going for a jog when she stumbled upon the crime scene, as her hair was tied back and she had an MP3 played secured to her arm.

“What happened?” he asked her.

“He tried to kill his wife. Tied her up and beat her,” she informed him.

Sam tore his attention away from the house and turned to the woman.“Really?”

“I used to see him going to work in the morning. He’d wave, say ‘hello.’ He seemed like such a nice guy.” The young woman shook her head.

You watched as the cop car with the supposed killer in it drove off.

The three of you decided to stay at the scene of the crime to dig around. You and Sam walked around the back of the house, looking for any sort of a clue. Sam lifted the lid on one of the two blue garbage cans behind the house.

“Why are you dumpster diving?” you asked Sam. “I don’t think the killer’s hiding in there.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “I don’t know, I’m just looking for... anything. I don’t really know what to look for.”

“Yeah, me neither,” you told him as the two of you walked around to the front of the house.

Dean came up behind Sam a moment later. “Hey.”

The two of you turned around.

“Remember when I said this wasn’t our kind of problem?”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

“Definitely our kind of problem.”

“What’d you find out?” Sam questioned.

“Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex’s story. Apparently, the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked,” he informed you.

“So, he was two places at once,” Sam affirmed.

“Exactly. Then he sees himself in the house, police think he’s a nutjob.”

“Two dark doubles attacking loved ones in exactly the same way.”

“Could be the same thing doin’ it, too.”

You thought for a second. “Shapeshifter?”

Dean shrugged.

“Dude, bear with me on this one. It’s something that can make itself look like anyone.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” he replied.

“Every culture in the world has shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men,” Sam added.

“Right. Skinwalkers, werewolves,” you continued.

“We’ve got two attacks within blocks of each other. I’m guessin’ we’ve got a shapeshifter prowlin’ the neighborhood,” the younger brother went on.

“Shapeshifters aren’t exactly known for flying--” you started as you headed off back behind the building, “--so I think it’s safe to say that I found a trail back there. Someone ran out the back of this building and headed off this way.” you pointed down the street.

“Just like your friend’s house,” Dean told Sam.

“Yeah. And, just like at Zack’s house, the trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared,” you noted.

“Well, there’s another way to go—down,” the older Winchester pointed out.

You looked down to where the trail ended to find a manhole.

The three of you climbed down the ladder into the hole, looking around the dark cavern.

“I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too,” Sam commented. “The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around.”

You went to take a step but stopped yourself when you looked at what you were about to walk into. You bent down, examining the pile of what appeared to be blood and skin.

“Is this from his victims?” Sam asked as he, too, bent down.

You took out your pocketknife, picking up some of the skin with the end of the blade. “Gross.”

“You know, I just had a sick thought,” Dean piped up. “When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.”

You looked back to see Sam’s nose scrunch up further as he thought about what Dean had said. “That is sick.”

You shook the skin off of your knife, wiping it off on Dean’s jacket.

“Hey!” He swatted your arm away.

You snickered.

“C’mon, you two,” Sam commanded with a groan as he made his way up the ladder.

Sam and Dean followed close behind you as you headed to the car. You leaned on the side of it as Dean popped open the trunk.

“Well, one thing I learned from Dad, is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there’s one sure way to kill it.”

“Silver bullet to the heart,” Sam nodded. A moment later, his phone rang. “This is Sam... We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some things out...” He mouthed Becky’s name to you to let you know who was on the phone. His expression changed a moment later to one of confusion. “What are you talkin’ about?... Why would you do that?” Suddenly, he seemed irritated. “Bec—... We’re tryin’ to help... Bec, I’m sorry, but—” He was cut off when she hung up on him.

“What was that all about?” you asked.

“She found out about Dean.”

“What, how he’s not a detective?”

“Yep.”

“I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about,” Dean jumped in. “You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just--it’d be easier if--”

Sam understood where his brother was going with his statement. "If I was like you.”

“Hey, man, like it or not, we are not like other people. But I’ll tell you one thing. This whole gig—it ain’t without perks.” He held up a gun with a smirk.

***

The three of you headed back down the manhole, walking down the cavernous hallway with flashlights and guns in hand.

“I think we’re close to its lair,” you told Sam.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because there’s another puke-inducing pile next to your face,” you grinned.

“Oh, God!” he cried as he turned to see skin and blood on the pipe not two inches from his face.

Dean noticed a pile of clothes in the corner. “Looks like it’s lived here for a while.”

“Who knows how many murders he’s gotten away with?” Sam shook his head.

You heard a small splash in a puddle behind Dean. You whipped around and aimed your flashlight at the sound, seeing the shifter in the form of the businessman.

“Dean!” Sam shouted.

He wheeled around only to get punched in the face by the shifter. Dean toppled to the ground as the shifter ran away from you and the boys.

Sam shot after it a few times, but he missed. You tore down the corridor after it, not even once taking a look at Dean.

“Get the son of a bitch!” Dean yelled after you.

“That’s the idea, jackass!” you called back. You watched as the shifter climbed out of the manhole you and the Winchesters had used to get into the sewers. You scrambled up the ladder as quickly as you could, popping out of the ground and gazing out into the dark night.

You could just barely see the shifter at this point. You followed where you thought you had seen him turn. You held your gun inside your jacket, eyes focused on the alleyway you saw the shifter turn into. You pressed your back against the brick wall of the shop on the right of the alley before turning into it. You shined your flashlight down the dark alley, walking into it a few paces. The all too familiar smell of coconuts and tobacco filled your nose. When the beam of light hit the wall of the building along the back of the alley, you turned around, only to see the shifter in the form of the businessman staring directly at you. Before you could so much as aim your gun at it, it hit you over the head. Your vision went completely dark.

***

You woke up to an unfamiliar sight. The shifter had taken you to his lair; a cold, damp, dimly lit room in what seemed to be a house. You groaned before attempting to stand up, only to get choked by a rope that had been secured around your neck and pulled back by ropes around your hands. The shifter had tied you to a wooden post.

‘Brilliant,’ you thought.

You heard muffled voices behind you, one that sounded like it was Dean’s.

“Dean?” you called.

“(Y/N), it’s not--” Sam shouted, but cut himself off with a groan.

“Dean” walked over to you.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he smirked, leaning down to your eye level. He put a hand next to your head on the post.

“Dean, the rope around my neck, it’s too tight,” you lied, struggling against the ropes. You pretended like your throat was constricted by making your voice strained. “Help me, please,” you begged.

The shapeshifter chuckled. “How stupid do you think I am?”

You dropped the act. “It was worth a shot,” you mumbled.

“You act like Dean-- I’m sorry, I-- would help you anyway,” he said as he walked away from you.

You looked up at him curiously.

He turned back to face you. “I’m so ready to leave your sorry ass in the dust,” the shifter laughed coldly. “All you’ve done since we met you is cause more trouble for us. I hope you’re tellin’ the truth about leaving the second we find Dad, ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can put up with you. God, from your voice to your personality, you aggravate the livin’ crap outta me.” The shapeshifter leaned back down in front of your face, the two of you only inches away from one another.

“You’re a burden, (Y/N). You’re exhausting to be around. I constantly have to keep my guard up around you. I can’t trust you, not after what happened in Toledo. How do I know you won’t turn on me and Sammy?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay.

He turned away from you once more. “Sammy... that’s another thing. I hate how close the two of you have gotten. I mean, you roll up in your stolen car and immediately have him wrapped around your finger. He’s so ready to defend you against me. Maybe that’s why I hate you so much. You’ve replaced me. And sooner or later, you’re gonna take him away from me. Hell, everyone else in my life’s left, why wouldn’t he?”

The shifter took a deep breath, his frustrated expression leaving his face. He replaced it with a smug look as he continued on berating you. “Y’know, take your voice and personality away, Dean would definitely wanna fuck you. He thought you were hot the first time he met you. Then he actually got to know you, and, eh, things changed. But I’m sure he’d have tons of fun with Sam’s little friend Becky.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “I think I’ll go pay her a visit.”

With that, the shapeshifter disappeared.

You heard Sam mutter something, and then someone coughing.

“That better be you, Sam, and not that freak of nature,” you heard Dean call from somewhere in the cavern.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Sam confirmed.

You steeled yourself, trying to push the shifter’s hurtful words out of your mind. “Sam, that thing went to Becky’s carryin’ Dean’s face,” you informed him.

“Well, he’s not stupid. He picked the handsome one,” he told Sam.

“Shut up,” you groaned, trying to wiggle your way out of the ropes around your wrists.

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He didn’t just look like you, he was you,” Sam continued. “Or he was becoming you.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories.”

“You mean, like the Vulcan mind-meld?”

“Yeah, somethin’ like that. I mean, maybe that’s why he doesn’t just kill us,” Sam suggested.

You heard shuffling behind you, which you assumed was Dean walking over to Sam.

“Hey, jackass, you passed me up,” you yelled at Dean.

“I know,” he called back to you. He went back to his conversation with Sam. “Maybe he needs to keep us alive. Psychic connection.”

“Hands,” Sam ordered Dean. “Yeah. Come on, we gotta go. He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.”

“I’m still stuck here!”

Sam came over to help you get the ropes undone. However, Dean could care less about the state you were in.

You found all of the guns the shapeshifter had stolen off of the three of you, and you tossed each of the guns to their respective owners.

Sam boosted you up to a window high off the ground in the room you were in. You climbed out, “Come on. We gotta find a phone, call the police.” Sam started to head down the street.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean effectively stopped his brother. “You’re gonna put an APB out on me.”

“Sorry,” Sam grimaced.

“This way.” You took off down the street. The neighborhood you sprinted through was dark, the street lamps so scattered and dimly lit that you could hardly see your feet hit the pavement below you. As you came up on a block full of shops, you slowed your run to a walk as to not draw too much attention in the well-lit area.

You almost headed past a shop with a bunch of televisions set to a news channel in the window, but you stopped when you heard what the reporter was relaying to the audience.

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.”

A sketch of Dean appeared on the screen next to the reporter.

“Man! That’s not even a good picture,” Dean piped up from next to you.

You looked around, making sure no one heard Dean’s loud exclamation and got suspicious.

“It’s good enough,” Sam muttered. He quickly walked past the shop to get back in the cover of night on the other side of the strip of stores.

“Man!” Dean grunted as he followed his brother.

“Hush, you big baby,” you snapped.

Sam turned down an alley with you and his older brother falling behind.

“Come on,” Sam urged the two of you quietly. “They said attempted murder. At least we know--”

Dean cut him off. “I didn’t kill her.”

“We’ll check with Rebecca in the morning, see if she’s all right.”

“Alright, but first I wanna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.”

“Dean,” you started, “We have no weapons. No silver bullets.”

He stopped, turning to face you. "(Y/N), the guy’s walkin’ around with my face, okay, it’s a little personal. I wanna find him.”

“Okay. Where do we look?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

The older Winchester paused for a moment. “Well, we could start with the sewers.”

“We have no weapons, genius. He stole our guns, we need more.”

“The car?” Sam offered.

You shrugged. “He probably drove it over to Rebecca’s.”

“The news said he fled on foot. I bet it’s still parked there.”

"The thought of him drivin’ my car,” Dean snarled.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Alright, come on.”

“It’s killin’ me,” the older brother whined.

“Let it go.”

***

As you walked up the street on the right side of Becky’s house, you noticed the silhouette of the car outlined by the dim light of the street lamp.

“Oh, there she is!” Dean exclaimed happily, the relief in his voice evident. “Finally, something went right tonight.”

A police car appeared around the corner and parked next to the Impala.

“Oh, shit,” you muttered. You turned around, beginning to run away, but another cop car was parked across the street at the intersection you had come from.

This way, this way.” Dean headed toward a fence.

“You go. I’ll hold ‘em off,” Sam told you and his brother.

“What are you talking about? They’ll catch you,” the older Winchester said.

“Look, they can’t hold me. Just go, keep out of sight,” the brunet urged. “Meet me at Rebecca’s.”

“You got it, chief,” you called back.

Dean was the first to hop the fence and you followed. You stumbled upon landing in the backyard of the house you happened upon.

The voice of a police officer broke through the silent night as you and Dean started off to the fence on the backside of the yard. “Don’t move! Keep your hands where I can see ‘em.”

You climbed over the fence into the backyard of another house and ran around the left side of it to head down the street the cop car was parked at the intersection of. The two of you stayed out of the glow of the lamp lights that lined either side of the road as you ran along.

When you had gotten several blocks over from where you had that run-in with the cops, you and Dean stopped to catch your breath. You both sat down on the street corner, chests heaving. The older Winchester went to lay back, but you stopped him.

“Hey, stay sittin’ up,” you directed.

“What? Why?”

“You’re gonna pass out if you do.”

“Uh, okay.” He looked at you as if you did not know what you were talking about but still followed your orders.

The two of you sat in silence for a minute.

“So, what now?” you questioned.

He shook his head. “The cops are probably still snoopin’ around Rebecca’s house. Can’t go get the car ‘til they’re cleared out.”

“Yeah, so, what now?” you asked again.

“I don’t know, man,” he grumbled annoyedly. “You got any ideas, Einstein?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be asking you, dumbass,” you responded snippily. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have a watch on me.”

“Great,” you sighed, standing up. You brushed your hands off on your pants and dusted the back of your jeans off.

“Could go get some burgers,” Dean piped up from his seated position on the grass.

“Your brother just got arrested, and you’re a wanted man, but sure, let’s take you where everybody in the joint’s gonna be able to clearly see your face.”

“Jeez, calm down. It was just a suggestion.”

“Yeah, a dumb one.”

“What’s your deal, (Y/N)?” Dean stood up, and you turned to face him.

“My deal? What about yours?”

“I don’t have one! But you’ve clearly got a stick up your ass.”

You shook your head in frustration. “Dean, don’t lie to me. You have a deal. With me, specifically. The shifter told me all about it.”

The young man tilted his head to the side in question. “What?”

“Yeah, he told me what you really think of me,” you continued. You took a step toward him with each sentence. “How much I annoy you. How much I exhaust you. How much of a burden I am to you.”

His face dropped out of its angry expression as he took a step back.

“He also told me how you think I’m gonna replace you in Sam’s eyes.” You laughed coldly. “Is that why you hate me so much? Because you’re so insecure about your relationship with Sam?”

The fact that Dean did not respond showed you that you were correct.

“I gotta be real with you, that’s pathetic.” You regretted what you said instantly.

The anger returned to his face. “Still think you don’t have a stick up your ass after you say something like that?”

“I’m sorry, I--”

“No. Just shut up.”

He walked off down the street.

Your frustration replaced your guilt in an instant. “Seriously? I say one thing that cuts slightly below surface-level insults and you get butthurt?”

Dean turned around.

You walked up to him. “What I just told you was fucked up, sure. But it wasn’t half as bad as what you said to me back in Toledo. That I probably drove my family crazy enough that they'd kill themselves over it? Does that ring a bell?"

“What do you want me to say, (Y/N)?”

“I want you to apologize, for starters!” you shouted back. Your tone changed to dripping with sarcasm. “Now, I know that would require you to humble yourself and get past your superiority complex, so I understand how difficult that’s gonna be for you.”

“I’m sorry, okay!” he yelled, throwing his arms out to his sides. “And I’m sorry about what that shifter said to you.”

“Thank you!” You took a moment to collect yourself. “And I’m sorry, too.”

“Thanks.”

You looked around at the houses that surrounded you on either side of the road the two of you stood in the middle of. “Now that we probably woke up half the neighborhood, let’s bounce.”

Dean chuckled, walking down the street away from you. You caught up to him.

“I don’t know where you think you’re going, we haven’t exactly decided what we’re doing.”

“I’m goin’ back to Becky’s. The cops probably cleared out by now,” he replied.

‘Okay, way to fill me in on what the plan is,” you scoffed.

“I didn’t realize I had to share every little bit of my thought process with you,” Dean clapped back.

“Well, it’s kinda helpful to know what you’re thinkin’ when we’re working together,” you told him.

“Whatever,” Dean brushed you off. “Why does it bug you, anyway? That’s such a stupid thing to fight with me about.”

“I don’t know,” you confessed. “Your face is just annoying.”

“Gee, thanks,” he retorted dryly.

As you approached the car, you noticed the sun had begun to rise.

“I guess that answers the ‘what time is it’ question,” you noted. “It’s probably somewhere around five in the mornin’.”

Dean popped open the trunk, shrugging on the navy blue canvas jacket he found on top of the gun compartment. You grabbed your duffel bag out of the trunk before Dean opened the hollowed-out bottom of the trunk.

You grabbed more silver bullets out of your bag and loaded them into your gun as Dean filtered through the weapons in his trunk.

“Doesn’t look like the shifter took anything,” he told you.

“Alright, to the sewers.” You headed up to the passenger’s seat after haphazardly throwing your bag over Dean’s head back into the trunk.

“Watch it!” Dean scolded. “You almost knocked me out!”

“But I didn’t,” you smirked, ducking down into the front seat.

***

You and Dean pointed your flashlights and guns around the sewer as you walked down the corridor together.

You walked into a chamber filled with candles and chains hanging from the ceiling. You aimed your flashlight at the ground, noticing many piles of shed skin and blood all over the floor. You even noticed a few teeth and fingernails near the pile.

“I’m gonna be sick,” you grimaced, looking up at Dean.

“(Y/N)?” you heard a muffled voice call from the far right corner of the chamber.

“Bec?” you responded, rushing over to a curled up figure covered by a tarp. You pulled the cover off to reveal a disheveled Rebecca, her hands and feet bound with rope.

“Thank God,” she sighed when she saw your face as you began to untie her. The blonde’s face was red, and tears had dried on her face.

Dean came over to the two of you, coming up behind you. “What happened?”

Rebecca started crying again as she spoke. “I was walking home, and everything just went white. Someone hit me over the head, and I wound up here just in time to see that thing turn into me. I don’t know, how is that even possible?”

“It’s okay, you’re okay now,” you coaxed her as you finished untying her binds.

“Come on. Can you walk?” Dean asked as he helped Becky stand up.

She nodded.

“Okay, we’ve gotta hurry. Sam went to see you.”

***

You jumped out of the car before it had even stopped rolling into the half-circle shaped driveway, rushing into Rebecca’s house behind Dean.

You held your gun out in front of you, Dean doing the same and yelling “Hey!” as he entered the living room.

You saw the shifter in the form of Dean jump off of Sam, whom he had previously been strangling. Dean shot the shifter in the chest twice, and it dropped to the ground dead.

You ran over to Sam. “Hey! Hey, are you okay?” you questioned as he slowly sat up, grasping at his neck.

The younger brother groaned, nodding in response.

You blew out a puff of air. Rebecca came running over, crouching down to yours and Sam’s level, looking him over.

You looked back at Dean and watched as he ripped the necklace he always wore from around the shapeshifter’s neck. He looked over at you, giving you a knowing nod. His jaw was clenched, and his eyebrows were furrowed.

You stood up, leaving Sam and Rebecca on the floor while you walked over to Dean. His eyes followed your face as you got closer to him

“So, what are you gonna do with... you?” you chortled, trying to make light of the situation.

He scoffed at you. “I guess have Becky call the cops once we get the hell outta dodge.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded, glancing down at the shifter. Your movements tensed as you remembered the awful things he said to you. Things that had apparently been on Dean’s mind; the reasons why he hated you. Despite the fact that Dean had apologized, you were still hurt.

“You okay?” Sam asked you when he walked up behind you.

You turned around to face him, noticing Dean had left his crouched position next to the shapeshifter.

“Yeah,” you lied, “I’m good.”

He gave you a knowing look with a tilt of his head.

You smiled half-heartedly. “We’ll talk about it later.”

***

You and Dean were packing up the car while Sam said his goodbyes to Rebecca. You looked on as the two friends shared a hug. When they pulled away, the blonde waved to you and Dean. You smiled at her, waving back.

“So, what about your friend, Zack?” Dean asked as soon as Sam walked up to the car.

“Cops are blamin’ this Dean Winchester guy for Emily’s murder,” Sam smirked. “They found the murder weapon in the guy’s lair, Zack’s clothes stained with her blood. Now they’re thinking maybe the surveillance tape was tampered with. Yeah, Becca says Zack will be released soon.”

Dean rolled his eyes before he got into the car, leaving you and Sam chuckling to yourselves.

***

Dean broke the silence in the car that you three had been enjoying the entirety of the ride up until that point. “Sorry, man.”

You looked away from the trees that flew by outside of the Impala’s window over to Dean.

“About what?” Sam inquired.

“I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be….Joe College.”

“No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.”

“Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak,” Dean quipped.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way.”

“Yeah, I know you are,” the younger brother laughed.

“Aw, isn’t this sweet,” you piped up from the backseat.

“Shut up, (Y/N),” Dean responded, making you snicker. He paused. "You know, I gotta say—I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.”

Sam turned his head to his brother. “Miss what?”

"How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?”

You snorted, curling up against the window while the car went quiet again. The shapeshifter’s words swirled around in your mind, causing the corners of your lips to turn down.

Were you really a burden to Dean? Or was the shapeshifter just saying that to get under your skin?

‘I mean, he never denied feeling that way when we were fighting,’ you reminded yourself. You huffed, crossing your arms.

‘I’ll talk to Sam about it next time we stop,’ you told yourself. You closed your eyes and decided napping was a better idea than being in your own head at the moment.

One final thought made its way into your head before you could suppress it.

‘He can’t really think that badly of me... could he?’

Feedback is always appreciated and tags are open!

Series Rewrite Babes:

@rach5ive @ppeachygemss

Dean Girls:

@akshi8278

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septiembrre · 3 years

Note

Every even number for get to be mine.

OH MY GOD, THIS IS OVERWHELMING!!!! But, I’m going to do it anyway because I LOVE Get to Be Mine. This story is everything to me -- like it is seriously my most favorite daydream -- and I need to get over myself and write the next chapter. I’m just a little intimidated about what I want to get done and stalling because of it.

Which scene was your favorite to write in Get To Be Mine?

I love writing all the Beth/Rio scenes confrontations. Oh god, I just went to go to pull a quote and now here’s this too-long thing:

“Oh my god. Don’t be—” her voice lowers to a whisper, even though there’s no one around to overhear, “—indecent.”

“You started it.”

“I was talking about actual muffins.”

Rio’s still snickering as he asks, “What else you got?”

“Well, again you said had said our first date was at a bar? Where were you going with that?” Well, she knows. Half of their interactions have been at a bar, his bars. The other half on park benches and picnic tables.

“Oh yeah, your old story. One-night stand—excuse me, day stand. I fucked you on top of your blueberry pancakes? I mean that’s not exactly appropriate for our future company, either.”

It’s an admission of his own.

In a kind of distant, disassociating way, she can acknowledge that Rio’s point tally has just superseded hers by a million. There will never be hope of point recovery. She really doesn’t have the emotional energy to finish this conversation. So, it just comes out.

“He told you?”

“Yeah.” Rio bites his lip, nodding. Her eyes can’t help but zero in, even while experiencing unprecedented levels of distress. She tries to summon her strength as Rio says, “Good story, though.”

I’m obsessed with writing this shit. Their scenes are getting WAY out of hand. The above is only a rather tiny fraction of an absurdly long scene. Thanks to everyone who sits through reading this monster.

I also am enjoying branching out a bit and writing the Ruby+Annie+Beth interactions, Beth+Marjorie and Beth+her kids. It will come as a surprise to no one but I love writing Beth in relation to other women.

If you could change anything in Get To Be Mine, what would it be?

Lol, I’d re-write the whole first fucking chapter and give it a much more realistic timeline.

I also started this fic without having plotted much of it. I was sure at the time it would be a three-parter (jajajaja as if!). It wasn’t until @foxmagpie prodded me with many helpful, gracious questions that I finally was pushed to more fully outline GTBM and well, now it’s fully plotted.

I try not to be too hard on myself for it but I worry folks won’t be able to get past the first chapter, and I do wish I would have realized that outlines are my friends and totally accessible to me before I did. But, it’s okay! I’ve learned now at least.

Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in Get To Be Mine?

Lollll, the issue with Get To Be Mine is that I have absolutely no control and really struggle with cutting anything from it -- especially dialogue. Idk, I’m the type of person to have three-hour-long conversations on the phone with my friends and all of this is exactly how I’ve ended up with these hideously long conversations in the fic but, it is what it is. The dialougue makes me so happy.

Hm... I’m trying to think of a juicier detail. I did almost cut this Ruby+Beth+Annie scene I ended up enjoying a ton.

"And that was two years ago,” Beth adds. “Before all the nasty, terrible stuff. We don’t even know if he’s ever, you know…” Her mouth opens making what she’s sure are ridiculous configurations as she flounders, “ —cared.”

Annie’s jaw hangs open for a moment. Then she pulls it together and addresses Ruby first, “Okay, I love my sister, so stop trying to guilt me. Maybe what they need is to finally fuck again and get over whatever this is.” Ruby raises her eyebrows, considering Annie’s point but with a formidable amount of hesitation, as Beth splutters indignantly again.

Annie turns to her sister. “And Beth, I know homeboy has been super shady about his feelings but he has them.” Beth shakes her head, but Annie nods adamantly back at her. “They are in there somewhere because, bizarrely, we are all still alive.”

She pauses to knock on the wooden surface of the worktable, and murmurs a quick, Rest in peace, Lucy. Ruby crosses herself. For a second, Beth’s stomach plummets, and fuzzy words for an old prayer tug at her brain. She curls her fingers around the edge of the table to steady herself, focusing on the sturdy wood top as she processes what Annie said. Somehow despite the grief and all of the terrible things, it feeds the kernel of warmth inside of her.

“Is he the ideal romantic prospect? Nope, definitely not.” Annie’s lips pop and enunciate the ‘puh’. Beth marvels at how her little sister can always find room for irreverence. “And no matter how this fake-dating sitch goes, I have to make it clear that you are not allowed to become his wife-in-crime or whatever. But, maybe you guys can go through the motions—” Annie thrusts a little with her hips, rocking on the stool. “Bone, y’know.”

Which came first, the title or the fic?

The fic!

I had been thinking about a fake-dating Beth/Rio premise for months. Then, a fake dating prompt was listed in the GG Ficathon last May so I claimed it as a way to get myself to finally write this out. I had never written anything longer than 4k or a multi-chapter and at the time I was really scared to claim what I had then imagined would be a three-parter. I had never thought I could ever outline something, much less pull together multiple arcs or incorporate themes.

*laughs nervously* Technically, I still haven’t but I’m on my way. And, GTBM won’t be perfect when it’s all done but it’s so much fun. I love it. It’s my 2020 comfort puzzle.

What are some facts readers may not know about Get To Be Mine?

I don’t know if this will truly surprise anyone but I am really loving exploring:

- Beth intentionally parenting and thinking through how to be closer to her children

- Beth’s friendship with Ruby, and her relationship with Annie

- Beth finding her footing in independence

- Beth building a new friendship with Marjorie, a legitimate cool person who is not part of the PTA crew/Beth’s old bubble.

- Beth being pushed to think about her own grief from her childhood and her compartmentalization of her mother’s death through witnessing the Vandenberg siblings grieve their own mother who passed at a more natural time in life.

- Beth low-key exploring more about her own pleasure aka masturbating in the peace and quiet of her new apartment. Hahahaha. I worry about her and how much stress I give her in my fics, and try to balance it with moments of respite, too.

ANYWAY! Thanks, everyone for coming to my rant about Get To Be Mine. Always down to talk meta about it.

#get to be mine

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kogo-dogo · 3 years

Note

I looked at your favorite character top 5 thing and there's the one character you said was your ''problematic fave''. And I've heard of that game before because I saw somebody play it on Youtube once, I think the second one, and I was just curious about the character. Torque?? Because it seems like such a bad game and he didn't seem to have much personality but you seem very attacked so I was wondering if maybe it was worth looking into the series or something. I like old games.

I am so sorry that I said a week ago I’d answer this, Anon. I have so many thoughts about this probably-actually-one-dimensional character because I’ve had sixteen years to pick apart every scrap of info that exists about him. And overanalysis of fictional men is, at this point, my primary hobby.

First of all… eh. I won’t say to definitively not look into the series, but I would encourage you not look into the series. It’s one of those things that’s aged like an open bottle of two-buck chuck and I can tell you right now that it wouldn’t be as palatable in 2020 as it was in 2004. As much as I love Prison is Hell (the first game) and as much as I get what they were trying to do, they messed a lot of things up and it wouldn’t translate well to modern times. This is especially true for Ties That Bind. Oh my god, do NOT play Ties That Bind if you’re easily offended.

It’s fascinating to pick apart, though, even if it seems extremely basic on the surface level, and part of the reason I like Torque so much is because he’s a very interesting character to crack open and inspect. I know he probably Isn’t That Deep, but he’s interesting, figuring him out is a puzzle because of the way storytelling is carried out, and if he’d been handled better, would probably still be remembered beyond “quiet dude in a game Youtubers occasionally play on Halloween.” He’s really an unfortunate casualty of that era of gaming. It’s surprising he was handled with any dignity at all.

Spoilers are to follow, but it’s for the best. Now you don’t have to play the game.

First, a disclaimer: The Suffering games do work on a morality system, where you can get good or bad endings based on how you treat other people. The game is heavily designed to favor the good ending, and most people I’ve spoken to have agreed the good endings are likely canonical considering how much you’d miss while playing neutral/evil. So, we’re going with the “Good Aligned Torque is Canon” angle.

Okay. Now.

- Who is Torque?

This guy.

Torque is, in essence, what happens when you take every tired trope of a horror movie villain and flip it around on its head. He’s a severely mentally ill inmate convicted of murder (while it’s never outright stated what mental illnesses he has, it’s pretty obviously a mixture of DID and schizophrenia), he never speaks (at least not in the present; he does have scant dialogue in flashbacks in the second game; it amounts to maybe eight words total), and he is… freakishly strong. Beyond that, there’s very heavy evidence that he’s somehow supernaturally inclined.

The difference is that, instead of being presented as the villain, he’s the hero. He’s not just the hero, he’s basically one of the very few competent people in the games. Nobody treats him any different than they would anyone else, the game doesn’t go out of its way to underline that he’s some kind of “monster,” and even when the most monstrous of his alters presents itself (The Creature, who we’ll discuss later), people are just kind of like, “Oh, well that was different” and then move on with their lives.

He is a character who could very easily take the place of Jason Voorhees, and instead of being given a machete and told to kill everyone he comes across, he’s given a fire ax and a voice in his head that tells him to take care to think about how much other people are struggling and that maybe, being that he is probably stronger than them, he should put forth the effort to get them someplace safe.

- Okay, but, like… WHO is he? Character-wise?

If you want his backstory, it’s actually one of the best parts about him and one of the few things that Ties That Bind expands upon correctly. To summarize, he’s a victim of the state that fell through the cracks, pieced his life back together, and then ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

To be more long-winded: He was a troubled child with psychiatric problems who lost both of his parents in a car accident. With no living relatives beyond his parents, he was placed into the Garvey Children’s Home, where the conditions were less than ideal. A mixture of strain, trauma, loneliness, and desperation prompted his brain to divide up into three: himself, Blackmore, and The Creature. Then, left to navigate life and his own mental health on his own, he ended up falling in with some very bad crowds.

He became a drug dealer. He got in a lot of altercations. He was in and out of prison. This only stopped when he met his wife and became a family man, and began to consciously put forth the effort to right himself. He had two sons, had everything under control… and then ended up in prison again when the guy he used to work for on the streets hired a man to come pay him a visit at his friend’s bar and press every last one of his buttons until he snapped. He wound up in prison, his wife divorced him, and everyone assumed he’d end up back to his old tricks.

Except… he didn’t go back to being a drug dealer. He got a job at a gym instead. He stayed on the right track. He started reconciling with his ex-wife who, right before the events of the first game, moved back in with him.

This didn’t sit well with the men Torque used to run with, especially not the guy he used to work for… so a hit was ordered on him and his family. He wasn’t home when it was carried out. He walked in, found his wife and kids dead, and passed out in his apartment from the shock, where the police found him after receiving a tip.

He was bloody. He was disoriented. He was known to be a repeat offender. They pinned the whole thing on him and, after a very unfair trial, he was sentenced to death.

The first day he arrives in prison--located on scenic Carnate Island--the ground opens up and monsters begin sweeping over the land. Convenient.

- Wait, this bitch has alters?

Yeah. This… isn’t really a part of the game that’s handled well, but it’s interesting. There’s a lot of weirdness going on with Torque (remember that supernatural bend I mentioned?), and one of the two is… well, I’m not sure he’s an alter at all.

First, there’s Torque himself who is just a short-tempered, easily frustrated, but generally reasonable guy who really just wanted to keep his head above water. Secondly, there’s The Creature, a defense mechanism and literal monster that is incapable of communication and rears its head whenever he feels threatened. Physically threatened, generally, which resulted in The Creature being a bit violent. Torque has a pretty extensive arrest record and most of his arrests seem to revolve around “punched a guy at an inopportune time.”

Blackmore is more complicated, because he isn’t really clear. You see, there’s a snippet of dialogue in the second game and a lot of environmental storytelling that indicates that Torque is supernaturally gifted somehow (something he likely inherited from his mother), and that some of his mental illnesses are actually paranormal interference. Blackmore is the biggest gray area, because while he is presented as an alter, he… very much defies that.

He’s presented as a presence that Torque experiences externally and that only he can see (not really uncommon; Torque hallucinates pretty frequently throughout the game), but he also seems to be aware and consciously trying to control Torque. When that fails, he settles for trying to find a way to take over Torque’s body permanently. He’s capable of actually getting in physical altercations with Torque, but at the same time can hijack his body to do things he wouldn’t normally be able to do. He honestly smacks more of something Torque is possessed by instead of something his brain came up with itself, made all the more obvious by the fact that the final battle in the second game is literally Torque and Blackmore beating the everloving hell out of each other after Torque consciously realizes that nobody can perceive Blackmore but him.

But at the same time, that guy that Torque worked for that ordered the hit on his family? That’s Blackmore. There’s a lot of talk about how nobody has ever seen Blackmore (indicating he only communicated via writing or phone or what have you), and it’s all… very, very stupid. It’s one of those things in TTB that made me throw up my hands and go, “Well, sure. Okay. Let’s just do that, then. That makes perfect sense thanks.”

(I do not like most of Ties That Bind.)

- Okay, so he’s supernatural somehow?

Mm-hm. Again, it’s never explicitly stated, but heavily implied through some dialogue from my second favorite character in the game (DR. Q.L. KILLJOY, MOTHERFUCKER) and just the way the story plays out.

Carnate Island erupts with a bad case of monsters the second Torque sets foot on the island. A prologue you unlock after you beat the game once reveals that Torque actually hallucinated the first game’s end boss before he even saw it, indicating he has some precognitive abilities. The sentient spirits of both games know who Torque is and take a special interest in him, and plenty make allusions that they’re “more alike” than he thinks. Blackmore is very clearly paranormal in origin and seems to even be able to command the monsters in some way.

Hell, Dr. Killjoy even implies at the end of the first game that Torque is somehow making all of this happen and, only by tackling the root of his problems, can he make everything stop.

While there’s never been an active fandom for this game, I used to associate with a small group of fans, and there was actually a lot of discussion/disagreements about whether Torque actually had any form of psychosis or if maybe he had latent psychic abilities he couldn’t control. Seeing things all the time, causing things to accidentally happen that nobody would believe; it’d be easy to be chalked up with a disorder when there’s no way to know or prove what you’re experiencing is Real Shit.

- Why do you hate Ties That Bind so much?

Because of the way it improperly handles a bunch of mental health stuff that the first game wisely didn’t actually touch on much beyond acknowledging the fact that This Guy Are Sick.

Prison is Hell makes it very evident that Torque has psychiatric problems but never dwells on it overmuch. There’s even an entire chapter of the game that takes place in an old asylum with an early 1900s alienist ghost (DR. KILLJOY) trying to diagnose and “treat” Torque, and it still is mostly hinged on the horrors of old-timey treatment of mentally ill patients than anything about Torque. That and Dr. Killjoy’s misguided good intent (that dude deserves a whole essay of his own, to be honest).

Instead of hammering it home that he has Issues and deciding to talk too much about Issues, it just treats Torque like a human being. Your main goal is getting off the island and saving stragglers along the way, all of which react to Torque just the same way they would to anyone. COs will either be authoritative or condescending. Fellow inmates will be suspicious but more likely to work with him. Everyone is always gracious for his help, and nobody makes any odd remarks about anything weird he does (barring when The Creature shows up; then, they just remark on, “DUDE HOW IN THE FUCK?” because you find out, later on, that all they see is Torque getting in fist fights with things twice his size and winning).

Torque is just Torque. He just do what Torque do.

Ties That Bind then goes barreling into a bunch of tired tropes and tries to make a convoluted twist ending, and then there’s the whole matter of the secret underground organization that wants to capture Torque and have been working with Blackmore and you end up fighting a helicopter and some SWAT-looking motherfuckers and… they try so much harder to be edgy and gritty and it’s really fucking stupid.

The only good things you get out of it are some further snippets into Torque’s backstory (appreciated), the return of Dr. Q.L. Killjoy (always welcome), and a set of monsters known as Gorgers (they make purr-gle sounds when they eat and I love them).

Oh, and Consuela. She is mentioned in the first game and actually shows up in the second, and I can respect any woman who gets captured by an evil paramilitary organization and, immediately upon being rescued, takes the biggest gun she can find, looks you dead in the eye, and says, “I’m going to steal a fucking boat, drive it straight into a warzone, and rescue my goddamn husband. You with me or not?”

She is literally some female parallel to Torque and my headcanon is they are bros.

- Anything else?

Yeah. The soundtrack for the game is pretty awesome and ended up inspiring some other music in a couple of other video games of the time (Mortal Kombat: Armageddon immediately comes to mind). They actually rigged up some pretty cool contraptions to make unique sounds and ambience using shit like scrap metal and garbage, and the results are pretty fucking cool.

Favorites of mine are the boss themes for Hermes, and Dr. Killjoy, with Dr. Killjoy’s being my absolute favorite of all of them. The main theme of the game is pretty great, too, and is probably the most iconic of all of the songs on the OST. I’ve even heard it used in stuff where I doubt people knew what the hell The Suffering was, lol.

#i've been working on this off and on for a week #because i totally don't care too much about characters nobody else cares about #seems suiting to post it now on Halloween #considering he's a horror game character

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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 4 years

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The Mistakes We Made - Chapter Fifteen

Summary: When her high school girlfriend comes back to town after two years with a baby and a terrible story she won’t tell, the Librarian has to deal with the feelings she had worked so hard to keep at bay.

Notes: I’m... not very proud of how this chapter turned out writing wise, but you’ve been around for this long, I don’t think you’ll leave me now. Also the bisexuals are taking over this fic I’m not sorry

Read it on ao3: (chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3) (chpt4) (chpt5) (chpt6) (chpt7) (chpt8) (chpt9) (chpt10) (chpt11) (chpt12) (chpt13) (chpt14) (chpt15)

There was a loud gasp in the playground.

“You’re the kid who lives in the cemetery, aren’t you?!”

There was no answer. Another voice spoke.

“Is it true that your mum’s a witch? My mother said she’d steal my videogame if I didn’t go to bed on time.”

This time there was an answer, after a small pause. “That is stupid.”

The voice wasn’t of anyone Johanna knew. She looked behind her, away from the group of girls she had befriended in her two years at school, and looked at the swing. There was a small, pale girl swinging gently on it, her dark hair waving back and forth with the wind on her face. Around her, a group of other kids seemed to have gathered around.

Excusing herself from the conversation, Johanna walked to them. Those kids were obviously being mean, and Johanna didn’t want this kid to be upset on the first day of school.

Just as she got closer, another one of them spoke up. “I heard she put a curse on Mr. Wright and that’s why he is sick. Do you put curses on people as well.”

The new girl just kept swinging, completely ignoring the question. But Johanna walked up to them and put her hands on her hips, trying to look serious. “Hey! You are all being really rude. Leave her alone!”

The group of kids turned to look at her, confused that she’d give them an order even though she had no power over them. But then, the new girl planted her feet on the ground and stopped swinging, turning to them.

“You better do what she asked.” She said, calm to the point it was unnerving. Afraid of all they’d heard about the girl, the other children nodded, wide eyed, and walked away.

The dark haired kid watched them go away, hoping that they felt her eyes on their backs. Then, she turned to the girl who had stood up for her.

“Thank you for that. But it’s okay, I wasn’t being bothered.”

“Well, but I was.” Johanna sat down on the swing by the girl’s side. “That was no way to talk to anyone.”

“You’re very kind.”

Smiling at the compliment, she tried to continue the conversation. “Thank you. You are new, aren’t you? How old are you?”

The girl nodded. “I am five. My mum had been homeschooling me.”

“Five?” Johanna put her hands together in joy. “Me too! We’ll probably be in the same class! What’s your name?”

“Maven.” The girl answered, Johanna thought it was a very nice name. It sounded mysterious, kind of like her.

“Nice to meet you, Maven. I’m Johanna.”

_#_#_#_

The two of them only stopped hugging when Hilda made a gurgling sound, calling for attention after being on her stroller for so long. Both of them had drawn back at the sound, and smiled at each other one more time before Johanna got up to see what she could do for her child.

While she was distracted, Maven picked her cellphone to check the time, but something else called for her attention. There was an unread message from Mr. Kavindi.

“Good morning Maven, how are you? Not too sore, I hope. Please tell me if you need anything and do come over for tea if you’re feeling up to it!”

She could see out of the corner of her eye that Hilda insisted on wiggling in her mother’s grip, and she looked up to smile sympathetically at Johanna, who chuckled.

“I think she wants to go outside.” Johanna said, trying to find a position that made Hilda calmer. Her daughter didn’t like to stay inside for too long. Over the weeks she’d been there, she’d taken many strolls on the cemetery with the child, and even though Johanna admitted to having been creeped out, Hilda had enjoyed herself. Maybe she’d grow up to be one of those people who liked scary things. Like Maven. The thought made her happy.

The librarian got up and straightened her coat. “Well, we did just receive an invitation for tea. I say we all deserve it, really.”

_#_#_#_

They walked side by side on the streets, the sound of their steps and the wheels of the stroller merging together, the cool morning air adding a slight blush to their cheeks. Since she’d come back, Johanna hadn’t left Maven’s house much, and ever since she’d tried to talk to her parents, she’d been as discreet about Hilda as possible, afraid that someone would try to take the child from her as a result of Torrin’s lies. But now, she pushed the stroller in front of her almost proudly. She didn’t care, nor did she worry, about what they thought. The two people who truly loved her were by her side, and lucky for her, no one but her former husband had ever seemed willing to pick a fight with Maven.

“Anna?” Maven hugged her coat tighter around herself to keep in her warmth, and Johanna hummed in acknowledgment. “About what you told me earlier. That I don’t… fight for people. What do you think I should work on to solve that?”

Smiling at the ground, Johanna tried to hide her pleasure at realizing that Maven had, indeed, taken her worries seriously. This was something she’d wanted to talk to Maven about ever since they were very young, but she hadn’t thought she’d want to hear it.

“Well, I’m afraid that this whole town pariah thing made you have some trouble with communication. And connecting with other people’s feelings, so maybe you should focus on that.”

Maven chuckled self deprecatingly. “Yeah, I had already noticed the communication thing.”

Making her stop walking with a gentle hand to her arm, Johanna locked their gazes. “But I have to say that you seem to be improving so much in this aspect. I was very proud of you today.”

Maven pulled the hem of her coat over her hands, a nervous habit that Johanna easily recognized, her eyes looking down at the ground and then up again.

“Says a lot that you have to praise me for acting like a human, doesn’t it?” She muttered, making Johanna sigh.

“Which brings me to another thing you might want to pay attention to.” Johanna started walking again, letting Maven to follow after her even though only the librarian knew the way to where they were going. Her eyes were just a little wider than normal and her back was straight as an arrow, showing Johanna that she was paying listening closely.

“Self esteem.”

Maven blinked and frowned at her. “Wait, what?”

Smiling, Johanna continued looking forward, following Maven when she crossed a small street. The block they were walking by was filled with colourful little houses, each with a garden in front of them.

“Have you ever heard the quote ‘we accept the love we think we deserve?’”

Maven scrunched her nose. “Isn’t that a song?”

Rolling her eyes, Johanna shot her a very level look. Even if she wasn’t perfectly aware that with the amount of books she read, it would be almost a miracle if she didn’t know, at this point in her life Johanna could recognize Maven’s tone when she made an awful joke.

“Yeah, I’ve heard it. By Stephen Chbosky, I think.”

“Exactly. Well, I’ve always wondered if maybe you never thought people could like you because you never liked yourself.”

It was a strange realization to come. Sure, she knew perfectly well about all the things she hated about herself. She knew she’d always considered this friendship, the truest one she’d ever had, to be more than she deserved, but she’d somewhy never connected these things to low self esteem. Gods, I need a therapist.

“Thank you, Anna.” She smiled, her face hiding nothing even though it was so used to covering every emotion. “I’ll think about that.”

Johanna only had time to smile back at her before they heard a cheerful voice from one of the houses.

“Girls, you’ve come!”

They turned their heads to the cubby man waving at them from his front door. Mr. Kavindi seemed to have come back to his usual joyous self, in contrast with how tense and worried he’d been the night before. Maven was happy for the change; she wouldn’t want to be the reason his mood was dampened.

He stepped down his house and crossed the garden in order to open the metal gate for them. Johanna got in first , and thought he tried not to stare, Kavindi couldn’t help himself but grin at the adorable child who was taking everything in from the stroller. He’d heard Torrin’s version of the story of how Johanna came to be at Trolberg again, of course. Everyone had at this point. But since Maven hadn’t wanted to talk about it, he knew practically nothing about what was actually going on. He wasn’t about to press them for information, though. He’d know in time.

He shot a worried look at Maven when she closed the gate behind her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, sir. Thanks to you.”

He blushed with the acknowledgment, but made sure to brush it off. Anyone would have done the same, he said. He then let the trio inside his house, where Maven had already been three or four times, and his wife greeted them as well, beckoning them over to a table with tea and cookies. It would ruin their lunch, for sure, but it would be worth it.

The atmosphere was cozy and welcome. The Kavindi household was colourful, peculiar trinkets covering every surface. The table had been set in front of a window which had a view to a tiny backyard, where Johanna noticed they had planted strawberry bushes. She imagined that’s where the homemade jelly on their table came from.

She’d been reluctant, at first, to agree to this visit, wondering if the couple would try to pry too much into her life. But contrary to what she’d been expecting, the two of them acted perfectly polite, at the same time that they were extremely welcoming. They didn’t ignore the fact that she’d been away for so long, making her questions about when she’d be back at college and how taking care of Hilda was, but not once did they touch more delicate topics, and for that she was grateful. They even managed to talk about what happened in the party the night before without focusing too much on Torrin.

As Johanna had brought all the essentials for caring for Hilda in a bag in the stroller, they were able to remain with the couple for a long time. At one point, Erica even asked for permission to pick Hilda up, and took her outside to point out all the different species that she and her husband had planted together.

While the two of them were outside and the women were sitting with Mr. Kavindi on the sofa, to where they’d moved after some time, Maven’s eyes fell to a portrait sitting on a shelf, side by side with a variety of books. There were two men in it; one was the librarian, and she realized she knew the other as well.

“Hold up.” She got up from the couch and picked the picture from the shelf. “That’s my college’s dean, isn’t it?”

Although she’d had little trouble recognizing Mr. Kavindi, seeing as she saw him very often, it was harder to do so with the dean. They were much younger, close to Johanna and Maven’s current age. Mr. Kavindi hummed in agreement and smiled.

“That one is from college!”

Johanna walked closer as well, wanting to see the image. “That’s him, then?”

“Yeah.” Maven nodded. “I never did ask you why he was indebted to you.”

He snorted. “It’s not like he was ‘indebted’ to me.” He gestured as he spoke, making quotation marks with his fingers. “One day he joked that he was, and I’ve never stopped saying that he was. Trust me, he helped you because he saw your potential, not because of some moral obligation.”

Delighted with the compliment but not letting it show, Maven lifted an eyebrow. “That doesn’t really answer the question.”

Shifting in his seat, he blushed, though there was a smile on his face. “He owned me one for kissing him first.”

The two women stared at him. The corners of Maven’s lips began to lift up, and she was pretty sure that Johanna was slack jawed.

“What, you didn’t think you were the only ones in this town, did you?” He joked in good nature.

“Sometimes it feels like it.” Maven muttered somewhat awkwardly, as she was trying to contain a smile. “What happened, if I may ask?”

She put the frame back on the shelf, sitting down next to him again, though Johanna remained standing.

“Well, I met the woman of my life.” He smiled and gestured to the back garden, where his wife was playing with Hilda. “But we remained very good friends.”

“I had no idea that you...” Johanna didn’t finish the sentence, turning her attention to the picture again.

“Most people don’t.”

“In this case, we’re very honored.” Maven sat straight on the sofa, finding a deep and unfamiliar sense of comfort in knowing that she could relate to someone she admired so much in this way. “You didn’t have to tell us, but I’m thankful you did.”

“My girl, I just want you to understand something.” He wanted to put his hand on her shoulder, or even hug her, offering her physical comfort aside from just emotional. But he knew that Maven didn’t appreciate physical contact from many people, so he kept his hands by his sides on the sofa. “You are never as alone as you think you are.”

Maven was in the process of understanding what he meant when Johanna spoke up.

“Hold up.” She turned to them, arms crossed. “How did you know about us?”

Maven’s eyes widened as she realized Johanna had a point; she had never told Mr. Kavindi about her relationship with Johanna and much less about her sexuality. He snorted playfully and tilted his head.

“Adorable how you two think you were being any subtle.”

_#_#_#_

It was a bright Friday afternoon, and Maven was giddy with excitement. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell so because she mostly kept it to herself, a bright contrast with the girl at her side, who was making the most of her walk, trying to keep her balance as she walked on the lines where two pieces of cement met or jumping over cracks in the sidewalk. She had been looking forward to this since the moment she and her friend had scheduled the meeting, the day before. She’d picked Johanna up at her house, and now was leading her to the lovely place her mother would sometimes take her.

“Won’t you tell me where we’re going?”

Maven smiled mischievously. “Not yet.”

Putting her hands on her hips, Johanna scoffed. “Well then, Miss Mysterious. Could you at least say why this had to be this weekend? You were pretty insistent.”

“The classes come back on Monday.”

“I know. What of it?”

“Anna, it’ll mark five years of our friendship!” She said happily. She had to admit, she was quite proud of herself for remembering this. And of course, she wanted to do something to celebrate. To show Anna how happy she was that they were still friends after all this time.

“Oh gosh, it does!” She clapped her hands in front of her and then leapt to hug her friend. “That’s amazing!”

“It is.” Maven hugged her back. “If you really want to know, I’ll tell you the place I’m taking you to. Not much longer until we get there, though.”

Drawing back, Johanna nodded enthusiastically. “Please!”

“It’s called the Poet’s Retreat. It has the best coffee ever. Mum doesn’t let me have too much, though. She says it’s bad for our growing.”

Smiling, Johanna squeezed Maven’s arms. “I already know I’ll love it.”

_#_#_#_

The day was getting darker by the minute as the sun sank lower. Johanna had suggested they got takeout, and considering t he that her friend was usually the one who cooked, Maven hadn’t objected. She deserved the rest.

This was the reason why now they were taking a different route from before. Leaving the Kavindi’s house to go to their chosen restaurant, they had to head closer to the city center, though still trying to avoid a few streets in particular. For the time being, Johanna didn’t want to risk meeting her parents.

After a while, the blocks became familiar to Johanna as they entered the area she had been more used to when she lived in Trolberg, and so the two of them somewhat switched into automatic mode, not thinking about where they were going, just letting their feed guide them to where they wanted to go and allowing their minds to drift away. After all that had happened in the last twenty four hours, after all they had said to and been told by each other, their thoughts were truly crowded.

It was this distraction which made them not realize where they were until the Johanna had trouble fitting the stroller in the narrow passage between a cracked, waterless fountain and an unkept flowerbed. In the middle of wondering how she’d maneuver that, her eyes widened. She looked around, truly seeing the place at last. They were in the middle of a small park, crossing it as a shortcut to the restaurant. Wild flowers grew widely there, taking over the all but abandoned place.

Maven, who’d been just about to offer help, saw the moment Johanna’s face changed with recognition. And that was when she, too realized where they were. Just like years ago, the sky was beautifully painted with purples and oranges, the sun’s last beams being filtered by the treetops. She immediately turned her head to a spot nearby, on the shadow of a tree, where she knew celosias grew during the warmer months.

The place where they’d first kissed.

A chill ran down Maven’s spine, a mixture of anticipation and anxiety as she felt Johanna’s eyes stare a hole in the back of her head. It brought her a strange feeling to look at this place so long after it had happened. They were so different now, and they couldn’t deny it. They had suffered, they had grown; their core was the same, but so much had changed that they could almost be completely different people. And yet, one thing remained the same. They were still terrible at staying away.

“We won’t be able to just be friends again, will we?” Maven whispered with her heart beating furiously against her chest. It was making her somewhat nervous, to feel Johanna’s unwavering gaze on her, but flattered at the same time. They were surrounded by wild beauty, and still she chose to look at her.

“We will, if we really try. But that’s not really what we want, is it?”

Johanna took a step backwards; she’d worry about getting the stroller through the passage in a minute, or maybe they’d pick another path. She walked to Maven’s side, and parked it just beside her.

“No.” Maven said softly, her eyes still glued to that spot. Only when she felt the touch of Johanna’s hand on her shoulder did she come out of her transe, turning to her friend with a slightly labored breathing. Her curls were shining in the little light that remained, and the shadows accentuated the gentle curves of her face. Twilight still looked beautiful on her.

“I don’t think-” Johanna stopped herself from finishing. Words had power, even over oneself. Maybe if she reacquainted herself with speaking with conviction, she’d learn to have confidence again sooner.

“I’m not ready for a relationship yet.” She began again. “But I can’t stand the idea of a future without you.”

Maven stared into her eyes for tense seconds, her brow furrowed and her lips parted with what looked to be disbelief, before she quickly rose on her heels and pressed an urgent kiss to Johanna’s mouth. Her bony hands flew to Johanna’s hair, as if trying to hang on to her, and Johanna hugged her hips close. It felt almost nostalgic, like they’d been offered a second chance. And they would make sure to make it right this time.

It was a while before they fully parted, the sky almost completely dark now. They leaned their foreheads against each other’s, breathing together.

“Good.” Maven said. “Because neither can I.”

They were smiling so much that their cheeks hurt as they drew back. Maven felt like laughing, even. No, she was not over Johanna, and there was nothing wrong with that. They would learn to grow together, to heal together, to live together, because the alternative of being apart was simply too terrible to picture.

This was not their happy ending. They’d still need to work hard to get there. This was their happy beginning, this was an opportunity to make an effort to get there. And Maven knew that, as long as she had Johanna by her side, she’d love every step of the way.

#fic: tmwm #my fic #sketchbook ship #sketchbook ship hilda #hilda librarian #hilda librarian fanfic #Hilda's mum #hilda johanna #hilda johanna fanfic

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Liam & Edie

Liam: [sends her some kind of coded thing where the answer equals 6 when she works it out so she knows he's not living his best life without her because they're both weird little nerds] Edie: I'm so insanely bored Edie: what lesson are you in and how many negative ⭐s is it Liam: german Liam: all the negatives Liam: [sends her a picture of his textbook with everyone's eyes stabbed out via pencil holes like miss you] Edie: awh, you wanna give me schadenfreude 😍🥴 Edie: that's generous Edie: I was just thinking that a Columbine would liven this place up Liam: write your list, I'll try & think of anyone I'd wanna keep off mine except for you Edie: but being the last ones standing is what we aim for Edie: and what I want right now Liam: anything else you want before I kick that plan off? Edie: don't need time to say any final farewells to any dickhead in this place Liam: you've got a steadier hand, I'll need you to carve no farewells onto the bullets Edie: more deserving use of my time than whatever I'm not being taught right now Edie: how's your aim though? Liam: -9 ⭐s for the lesson you're in Liam: but + it for my aim Edie: my fault for naively thinking Physics might be interesting when I picked it Edie: forgot we were catering for the braindead masses Edie: I believe it, no bullshit brag detected Liam: chemistry would've let you blow more things up Liam: & make 💊 Edie: 😤 I'm mad Edie: no amount of black holes are gonna make up for this Liam: we'll learn it online Edie: but I wanna blow things up with you now Edie: or not learn German vocab Liam: let's go blow up a 🚽 they have to let you out in case you're about to bleed or cry in front of everyone Edie: and am I? Liam: in front of me & whoever else is in there Liam: unless you wanna upload it after Edie: I do need to make the overreaction my fam had over the weekend worth the headache Edie: owed more trouble, like Liam: my dad was on one too, he's the only one not allowed to show up by his logic Liam: you want a bigger scale? every 🚽 in the building Liam: maybe school would have to shut Edie: Know that, my sister is the definition of one rule for her, another for the rest of us Edie: I reckon we could do 'em all without getting caught in the act Edie: more fun after the fact 📹 to claim it Liam: just need to get creative with our explosives, I won't have enough 🧨 to do every bathroom Liam: you in the labs or a standard classroom? Edie: labs Edie: she's scheduled a breakdown any moment now anyway, she's always pissing off to cry herself so I'll take my opportunity and cue as such Liam: 3 HNO3 + C6H7(OH)3O2 H2SO4 → C6H7(ONO2)3O2 + 3 H2O Liam: only need nitric & sulphuric acid from you Edie: you're a hot evil genius, okay Liam: there's a story behind it but maybe I shouldn't give it to you Liam: keep that train of thought intact Edie: but I need it Edie: I can keep 'em both on track, trust me Liam: you need it? tell me about that first Edie: I love stories Edie: and I liked talking to you, a lot Edie: and I like it when you give me things Edie: so yeah, it's a need Liam: to make you happy then Liam: the year is 1846 and this german-swiss scientist was messing in his kitchen Liam: he spilled a mixture of those 2 acids I told you to get on his table & grabbed the first thing he had about to clean it up Liam: happened to be a cotton apron & he hung it on his oven door to dry after, super chill until it exploded Edie: that's perfect Edie: scientists really loved making shit happen on accident, just like all life Edie: 🧫🦠 Liam: I was an accident & look how that turned out Edie: Big same Liam: my sister too, different loser dad though Edie: yeah? Edie: we've got that in common too Liam: does seem to be pretty common Edie: happy little accidents Edie: or not so Liam: I don't wanna be like that Liam: the different girls bit at least Edie: people love repeating their parents mistakes and bullshit Edie: even when they railed on it for years Edie: I don't fucking get it Edie: make your own, at least Liam: maybe you'll think this is one but I gotta say it Liam: I don't care about claiming 🚽💥 I wanna claim you Liam: be with me Edie: You mean it Edie: no bullshit Liam: only if there's bullshit that comes with being official & exclusive all of that Edie: I think that's a really, really good idea Edie: not a mistake but even if it was, I still want it Liam: alright, it's yours, me & the gay 🖤 shit Edie: [sends him a 🥰 selfie] Liam: it's my background Edie: you were already mine Edie: [glitter moment shamelessly] Liam: took the longest shower & I'm still finding it 🗺❌ Edie: good thing you suit it Edie: we can try again though, after the literal shitstorm, a shower is a good idea Liam: yeah, wouldn't suit that Liam: german teacher can disagree as loud as she wants Edie: 😏 Edie: can keep their filth and their hands to themselves Liam: I respect that you only covered me in glitter so that those girls would think I was gay & do the same Edie: people gotta respect territory Edie: works until I perfect your tat Liam: I'll get on the school roof with a 📢 Edie: You're everything Liam: you can sample it when you write a song about me Edie: I will Edie: your friend is not getting a feature Liam: his loss Liam: I'll only gloat for a while Edie: you can go as hard as you want, I reckon Edie: you've earnt it, like Liam: I'll go as hard as you want Liam: you're my girl now Edie: I'm yours Liam: make your physics teacher cry for me then Liam: we've got shit to do Edie: 😄 Edie: done Edie: where are we meeting when I'm fully done and have secured the shit? Liam: [a location] Edie: 👍 Liam: 🔜 Edie: making people cry is a speciality of mine Liam: it won't work on me Edie: I don't want to make you cry Edie: ever Liam: good thing I can't ever, all that toxic masculinity Edie: not missing out on much Edie: even if Miss makes a proper performance out of it Edie: more fun ways to do that Liam: yeah there are Edie: 💣💥 Liam: don't have to hand you a 🧨 to cause 🎇🎆 Edie: you don't even know how true that is Edie: yet Liam: for now it's a guess Edie: I'll show you Liam: I just wanna feel something Liam: that's not only 💊🥤 Edie: I will make that happen Edie: you don't need to believe me, just wait Liam: I'm waiting Edie: you deserve to feel everything Liam: I've tried but it don't work out like that Edie: you can't? Edie: or only certain emotions Liam: there's no 💣💥 in me Edie: we can be dead inside together and make it happen to everyone else Edie: for now Edie: [show up] Liam: [just kiss her too hard because everything you do is a little bit too much boy, okay you're numb but there's too many emotions trapped under the surface that we're not addressing so] Edie: [thank god we're so overwhelmed ourselves that we can just roll with this and have it be the most extra thing] Liam: [this is why you two work] Edie: [just approaching this like you aren't her first honey not even 'cos we're fronting but feelings and trying to make you feel things] Liam: [realistically who have you ever slept with either boy unless you've gotten with one of Rio's friends casually prior to this or something like] Edie: [just out here doing the most from the jump, the fam must be like HELLO???] Liam: [shouldn't be here for it but I am] Edie: [we all are by all I mean us and them, no one else lol] Liam: [imagine how shook he'd be because didn't expect it to be like this] Edie: [awkward, like the levels you must pay attention to no one but Rio 'cos she isn't really conspicuous in how she be lol] Liam: [and if he did get with one of Rio's friends when he first started stalking her it clearly didn't work out so he's probably bracing himself for another failed attempt and then] Edie: [it makes logical sense, like tryna get in the friend group lowkey but none of her friends are really here for it[ Liam: [yeah and like in my head he started stalking Rio when his sister had just died so he wouldn't have been bringing his A game] Edie: [exactly dr phil] Liam: [but obviously nothing happened that she could clock as a red flag when she's thinking of suspects he was probably just really blah because numb] Edie: [yeah, and none of her friends are gonna chat shit on the boy who's sister just died really like it's to be expected] Liam: [it's a good cover like you said] Edie: [just sat here like it's so rude we're gonna kill Edie, as if it wasn't rude before] Liam: [I do feel so bad for him even though he literally fucks with Rio's entire life] Edie: [lol same, it's like if you could just stop doing that tah] Liam: [I think it's partly because we both know she ends up okay and living as happy a life as poss whereas he does not] Edie: [yeah, there's no hope and that's just sad, even if you were an absolute dick, like Ro, per example, still sad she dies for everyone else] Liam: [agreed] Edie: [and you aren't that insufferable boy which is just well] Liam: [nobody is, she's next level] Liam: [anyway also do your vandalism and have way more fun than you expected with that as well] Edie: [when it's just a moment for you immediately and you're all in] Liam: [do we wanna close the school or not let them destroy every bathroom in the place for various reasons lol?] Edie: [on the one hand, maybe get caught before you do every bathroom for that trouble mood, on the other, if you shamelessly upload it you'd get in more trouble for making the school look dumb and shit hmm, I think this time get caught and we'll let you be sneaky trouble causing nerds plenty of other times[ Liam: [I'm about that, we know you're both pretty distracted rn so] Edie: [it feels more legit for this instance, and we can separate you and they'd probably call Ali in for the drama of it] Liam: [you can work your way into the fam later boy you're trying to keep your gf highkey for now, I love the idea of both their mums getting called in and awkwardly meeting haha] Edie: [they'd lowkey want them to kick up a fuss and separate them for the school but Ali knows how well that works so it's like well soz you'll have to cope] Liam: [whereas his mum is the opposite, you know the sort never backs the kid and is just wholeheartedly like yes do whatever you think @ the school] Edie: [ahh the joys] Edie: [once that drama has unfurled and you're in your separate detention moments, sending him a pic from the school website of all the staff but she's digitally ❌d out all their eyes] Liam: I miss you too Edie: I hope so Liam: what else would I be doing? Edie: I don't know Edie: you are full of good ideas Liam: I was thinking about setting the fire alarm off Edie: an acceptable second to thinking about me constantly Edie: would hate to perish in a fire with all these cunts Liam: to be with you Liam: I'd get you before they made you line up in the playground for the head count Edie: then we can leave, like we planned Edie: they'll have let our mas fuck off by now Liam: 🗑🔥 Liam: boring if it wasn't for you Edie: you're like Edie: seeing a new colour Liam: maybe I should leave you there longer so you can work on your song about me Edie: don't though Edie: I know it sounds cliche but that's the only way I can explain how blindsided but transformed I feel from you Liam: you're the only person who's said it, don't think that's how cliches work Edie: I don't just say pretty things for the sake of it Edie: or anything Edie: I mean it, regardless of what it does or don't sound like Liam: I know you mean it Edie: if we both set one, it'll take them longer to get back inside Edie: hide and seek and we can finish what we started? Liam: you're on Edie: 3️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ Liam: 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ Edie: [ahh this poor school lol] Liam: [love that you get to be notorious though gal cos peeps gonna be talking about these antics for ages] Edie: [in this fam you have to make your own rep or life is really hard junie and grace, I said what I said] Liam: [tea though] Liam: [I'm trying to think of somewhere cool they could go and my first thought was like a junkyard vibe so they can destroy more things like life is strange and sex education unless you have any better ideas] Edie: [that's always a mood, also very akin to the barn which will clearly be your domain so] Liam: [yeah and somewhere she's probably been loads of times that she knows all the hiding places of so they don't need to be interrupted again] Edie: [live your best destructive lives] Liam: [when he would be and lowkey forget what he's meant to be doing here, such fun, not devastating me at all] Edie: [the theme of these painful two years lmao, I'm so glad you never find out babe truly] Liam: [though ngl I wish you could survive and we could see if y'all as a couple could survive that] Edie: [ahh when you can't do it all, so rude] Liam: [could've had it all rolling in the deep] Edie: [soz you've got to die my love] Liam: [soz you both have, his poor mother] Edie: [yeah that is no fun] Liam: [soz both your kids are dead babe but we need it for the plot] Edie: [some people have the worst luck truly]

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