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#and the fact that aaron is canonically queer??

prettypipedream · 21 days

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I just wanted to add my little two cents about the tsc discourse.

I already did in a reblog but I wanted to make my own post about it so here it is :))

I love me some jerejean, looooveee it. love the dynamic, love the fanart, love the fics, love all of it!!

However, i am well aware that it most likely won’t be canon, and i am totally for Renee and Jean.

I don’t understand why people have such a problem with the canon relationships. I feel like this fandom forgets that most of the characters are not canonically queer, or are not in canonically queer relationships. And that’s totally fine.

It’s more realistic to a degree, and those pointing out the fact that if Renee and Jean were a mlm couple people wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it aren’t really wrong.

I love Aaron and Katelyn, I want to see more of the dynamic between Kevin and Thea. These characters are written into straight relationships and just because it doesn’t line up with your ideal doesn’t make them any less real or beneficial.

But that’s the thing about shipping culture and fanon, it’s meant to exist independent from the authors vision.

For example, I don’t like kandriel, I never have. It’s huge in fanon, and I don’t vibe with it. I like the idea of Allison and Kevin together, I think it would fucking hilarious and dramatic. That’s my little headcanon that I can kick my feet to.

In my head Jeremy would have a secret dark side and a complicated/bad family situation, shining brightly regardless, even though canonically he’s probably gonna be the most average guy ever.

The whole point is it’s fun to speculate and read about these things that are just fan created interpretations. It’s fun to divulge in your fantasies and headcanons.

But canon is canon.

Nora wrote this story with a specific vision in mind and as readers who enjoyed her books we need to respect that.

I will read the shit out of tsc and love it because I love these characters and I love this story. I will also continue to read fics and look at art of the non canonical couples like jerejean because I like them.

I can live in both canonical and fanoncial spaces and be happy.

If you can’t to do that without getting up in arms and attacking the author for not writing their own story the way that you would, then don’t read the book. Or learn to live with it.

xoxo

#the sunshine court #this is a little rant and just my opinion #but damn for fans some of yall gotta learn to be a little nice #tsc #all for the game #aftg #jerejean #jean moreau x renee walker #renee walker #jean moreau #the foxhole court

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verdet-cadet · 2 months

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Little isn’t in too many of your fics, so would love to get your take on him for the ask game!

@themundanemudperson also asked for this too.

First Impression: Oh God. I wasn't paying attention for my first readthrough and entirely missed that he canonically had dark hair and a beaky nose, so for my entire first readthrough he was played in my head by Aaron Tveit, complete with sunshine mop of golden curls. Oops.

Impression Now: Tragically brunette.

(Though I will say its still not the blow that blue eyed Granby is canon was.)

There's basically like, two canon facts about Augustine Little and I already started by immediately getting one wrong.

I think he's usually just a slightly reserved (for an aviator) even keeled, pleasant dude. Unless someone he loves (Immortalis) is in danger, in which case he will rip out a man's throat with his teeth. He's got a very fond multi-year situationship going with Granby, which maybe will deepen post canon when they get to spend more than 5 minutes with each other.

Favorite Moment: I'm very soft for the moment in EOI when they try a potential cure that fails:

"I would not have regretted it, not at all," Sutton muttered, hunched over the table and speaking to himself, but so violently that it could not but be overheard. "How could there be any regret, in such circumstances; there could be none," in anguish as great as though his guilt over the prospect of a cure for his own Messoria, when so many others might be left to die, had been the very cause of failure; and Little was so white and stricken that Chenery took him into his tent, and plied him with rum until he slept.

Its a very small moment, but I think the only bit of canon where we get the beat that Chenery and Little are friends and I love that for them.

Idea for a Story: Granby seeing Little, going “yep, that’s the guy” and doing the absolute most to make it happen. I'd love a getting together fic where Granby is the pursuer, nor in a "extrovert beams his spotlight on a shy boy" sort of way but it a "Guy who'd prefer to drink his tea in peace discovers Persistent Flirt is actually a decent human"

Unpopular Opinion: Little's poetic nature is largely ascribed to him by dint of being slim, fey featured, and having Good Hair. The knack for sketching doesn't help either, but I think he's otherwise much more pragmatic than romantic/Romantic.

Favorite Relationship: I mean, it has to be Granby/Little, but a strong honorable mention to Little and Chenery. I headcanon him and Chenery being thick as thieves since they were runners.

Favorite Headcanon: Little was absolutely amused and unbothered by his boyfriend's Book 1 weird hate-crush on his new boss.

Also just the idea of him showing up intermittently on the sidelines to check in with Granby, get a few smooches in, and watch Tharkay and Laurence doing *gestures vaguely* whatever the hell it is those two had going on for six books simmer until ready to plate.

I'm also fascinated with the idea of Little having some degree of connection to the queer community of the time. I think it's feasible if he was stationed in Dover for a large portion of his service. Given the large overlap between queer spaces and spaces frequented by artists and creatives, that's possibly another reason why his fellow officers saw him as so poetical.

#temeraire #augustine little

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xerith-42 · 3 months

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What if I made a whole post about Blaze

Wouldn't it be funny if I did that?

Blaze MyStreet (that's his name now) is the gayest character in the entire aphverse and I am tired of him being slept on. That's not to say that people don't like Blaze, they do. He was a popular character, but not in the way other characters are popular. It's hard to find other people who have him as a favorite character, and if you're a fan of Minecraft Diaries, most people forgot he was in that series because he was in like an episode of Season 3 and even I forgot about Season 3 outside of that. He's liked, but not in the way people can really latch onto characters in this series. More passively liked, because it's really hard to hate him.

And even in MyStreet, his ultimate conclusion is just bad. It's bad. I don't have any other words for it, it just sucks. Blaze being mind controlled and then killed off right before the finale was just unnecessary. It didn't add anything. This season had already implied to kill Melissa, and made it clear it wasn't afraid to kill off characters. There was no reason to do this other than to keep people hooked and make them have an emotional reaction to the episode.

And it worked! Most of the times I look up Blaze fanart, I find art of him as an angel, or in heaven with another character, or just art of him dying. And I don't object to making fanart out of these moments it just... it sucks opening his wiki and seeing "Status: Deceased" every time. It sucks going to find content of this character only to find a majority of it is just angst around a death I've actively tried to forget.

SO LET'S TALK ABOUT WHY BLAZE IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN MYSTREET AND WHY YOU SHOULD ALL (yes even you) GIVE HIM MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION

Did you guys know Blaze is canonically not straight and probably polyamorus? That isn't my headcanons, that's in the text. Sure it's all in mini-games, but the mini-games are supplemental material to the canon work, and when Blaze gets so little actual character work, I am unashamed to pull from these sources. And in these sources Blaze has stated that he is very much one of the fruits.

In one mini-game Aaron says "You can't marry two people Blaze, you know that!" And Blaze's response is "I do?"

[vine boom]

In another that I am rationally normal about, Aphmau stumbles in on Blaze with his head on Garroth's lap in a closet, WHILE THEY ARE UNDER MISTLETOE! And Blaze says "Your thighs are soft" while Garroth comments on how soft his hair is?!

[vine boom]

And this is all in tandem with the fact that he at the very least canonically had a thing for Dottie, and it's very easy to say he might have harbored feelings for Daniel, Rylan, OR Aaron

[vine boom]

So, we've established Blaze as one of them queers, this is great. Aphmau series really struggle with having gay characters at all, let alone good ones, but there's a quality queer character just sitting right there! Blaze is charming, funny, doesn't take up more space than he needs, and while it isn't in the test of MyStreet, I'll take what I can get. And he only gets better from here!

Wanna add drugs and stoner stuff to your next rewrite? Blaze is literally RIGHT THERE!! He's been around since Phoenix Drop High, and his birthday is literally April 20th, the writers are not being subtle about it. And in MCD, he's technically been around as a misspelled name since episode 40, and if you're making a rewrite, just add him in sooner.

Oh, you want Aaron to have a bigger support system that isn't just Aphmau in earlier seasons? Blaze and the werewolf pups are right there and would totally all live together in a house on My Street or Lover's Lane! Just saying! You want these characters to have a vector to explore polyamory? Blaze is basically an open book and very much agrees with the "a friend of Aaron/anyone else is a friend of mine" and would be willing to share his experiences. You want someone for characters to confide in that they normally wouldn't under normal circumstances? Blaze loves getting high and having vent sessions neither of them will fully remember in the morning.

And if we take it to MCD, he can provide a lot of this and more. Fleshing out of the werewolf experience, an actual werewolf that's at least closer to a part of the main cast than any other ones, AND you get to have him smoking out the other characters. Why wouldn't you make MCD Blaze the inventor of the first bong in Ru'aun? Literally why wouldn't you do that? What reason do you have not to do that? That's objectively great.

Blaze is a character who easily lends himself well to comedy and emotional scenes by being vulnerable all the time, and having the ability to bring levity when needed. He knows when you need to just scream into a pillow, or when he needs to pass you a joint and put a movie on in the background. There's not a lot given for him, but enough to build a solid character out of. He's stated to have an extended family, and a lot of siblings. He was probably the oldest one and had to help raise them, and would easily be able to empathize with older siblings in this show, especially ones who may have had to take care of a younger sibling while growing up due to absent parents (cough cough Melissa).

He also stood up to bullies for Daniel and was willing to make enemies with his entire pack, even his Alpha, just to make sure Daniel wouldn't get hurt or harassed. He's fiercely loyal and absolutely willing to throw hands at a moments notice for the right reason. It doesn't take a lot to make Blaze a ride or die friend, you just have to not be a dickhead and show that you're actually a decent person. He's very sociable and outgoing, a bit of a loudmouth, but he's got a good heart and generally gets along with anyone you could think to pair him up with.

I'm serious, send me a character and I will tell you how they could have a beautiful friendship/romance/something else with them and how it fleshes out both their characters. Blaze just does that by being around people. I'm serious. Please do this.

I didn't make an Instagram account in 2018 titled "Blaze_Best_Werewolf" (or something like that) with a self-made profile picture of Blaze wearing a flower crown and actively get in fights with people over MyStreet season 6 for my boy to be slept on in this manner.

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rayofsunshinc · 4 months

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The fact that I have to make this post is really wild but gay erasure will not be happening on this blog?????

Aaron, Richie Tozier, Kevin Keller and Mickey Milkovich are gay. Cheryl Blossom is a lesbian. And to be honest, it's essential to majority of their characters to fully understand them, not that it has to be mentioned in all their threads, but as far as backstory goes...

Only one that is questionable is Richie if you want to get into context of the books, but my portrayal is more movie-based (with other influences) and also I choose to write him as gay. I DO NOT want to get into that discourse, I've have enough over my time within the It fandom. No shade to anyone who chooses to interpret something different.

Also just a side note, I write Eddie Munson and Bucky Barnes as gay. I can go into my reasoning behind this, but it's what I choose to write and it's stated in their bio pages.

I really don't write any of my current active muses as straight. There might be a couple in my inactive muses. (Not to straight erase either ....... if that's even possible.) I do have muses who it's unclear of if they're gay, straight, bi, pan in canon ... because sexuality and romance does not come up AT ALL for their storyline (only within the fandom). But as a concept (not for each individual), sexuality is fluid and I have more friends who are "queer" than not irl and online, so as it relates to me as a bisexual person and my personal life, it makes sense to write queer people. Call it projecting or whatever you want LOL but this is my blog and I'm going to do what I want.

I shouldn't have to explain myself, but as we know, fandom can be exhausting. Please, don't come into my inbox/messages A) if we're not mutuals and B) if you're trying to ship m/f with ANY of my gay muses (especially canon gay characters ....? like wtf that's honestly the part that floored me)

#out of sunshine #psa

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katelynsimpsince2016 · 11 months

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I wouldn’t say outright terrible but like. It ain’t good. I’m just gonna bullet it to make things simpler since I’m horrible at explainin this sort of thing.

There’s the queerbaiting with Garrance, which immediately docks all the points I’d give them for a canonically queer character.

There’s the random tiny implications of characters possibly being queer that’re then never followed up on. For example, the fact that it’s implied Dante would’ve kissed Aaron even without being pushed. This isn’t bad per say, but it’s annoying.

There’s Katelyn who could’ve been good rep except she was given a girlfriend for two seconds and then to my knowledge her attraction to women was quite literally never mentioned again. I have no problem with her ending up with a guy and not a girl (<- Don’t quote me on this but I’m pretty sure that’d be biphobic if I did), the problem is that it feels like they just threw Katelyn in there for brownie points. Being queer isn’t and shouldn’t be a personality obviously, but it affects your life a little more than just what kind of person you date and that’s all we got with her.

There’s Vylad who’s canonically pansexual except people dislike his voiceactor, the only reason we know this, so they won’t acknowledge it.

There’s Melcinda which I can’t exactly comment on because I haven’t seen the part of the series that canonized it, but that’s also a problem. Starlight and When Angels Fall are very late seasons. I have seen every season prior and part of starlight, I did not know they canonized melcinda until someone else told me they did. Not that they can’t make characters queer late in the show, it’s just that we barely have any other queer characters before that.

There is Guy and Nate from love~love paradise. I don’t mind the characters but they are literally the buff guy x twink fanfiction stereotype. Why do we act like that was great representation.

So essentially: they have rep. they absolute have rep. but I will not give them any praise for it.

the rep they don’t have makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

the rep they do have is either in the teeny tiny details, briefly thrown in, literally not in the show outside of being confirmed from a possibly canon source, or so late game in the show that if you can’t sit through the, in my opinion, horridly written later seasons you won’t even know it’s canon.

It’s mostly wlw, which would not be a problem if the canon mlm rep we got wasn’t either barely present or just outright a stereotype. Garrance was queerbaiting, the implied queerness of other male characters (ex: Dante, Zane) is not acknowledged past that, Vylad’s sexuality was canonized outside of the show, Guy/Nate are a stereotype. The problem is that we have both wlw and mlm canon rep, but the mlm rep we have is of much poorer quality when it counts at all.

yeah you bring up some very good points - totally agree with you!

there clearly wasn’t much thought put into the queer rep and it’s definitely blink and you miss it kind of representation. basically if you either don’t pay attention at all times or watch all the content outside of the main seasons you will probably not pick up on it. for example,, katelyn’s girlfriend,, luca,, is introduced in the fcu series which isn’t a main mystreet season so some people may have missed that.

also about melcinda,, as someone who watched all of mystreet,, I can’t recall it being explicitly stated that they got together. i think it was alluded to and also in mini games but i can’t actually remember them becoming canon. i think it might’ve been something jess confirmed on twitter or something. so that definitely makes the rep even worse lol

also yeah how queer men are treated in mystreet is actually abhorrent. i never liked guy and nate because,, as you said,, they’re walking stereotypes. obviously,, there are relationships like that in real life but if in your work the only canonical gay male relationship is a literal stereotype then that’s definitely an issue. also not to mention garrance. i deserve compensation for that cuz i was legitimately convinced they were gonna get together in the end oml.

i could talk for hours about how katelyn’s sexuality was swept under the rug and how her relationships were just mishandled so much but to give jess some credit,, katelyn’s bisexuality doesn’t seem to be something that was just “shoved in”. ever since the side stories it was alluded to that katelyn was interested in women and she flirted with aphmau multiple times. although i don’t like how she turned out in the end i think there was an attempt,, just wish it was addressed in the main series. maybe katelyn could’ve had a conversation with another character about her sexuality or maybe she could’ve talked to her dad about it because that was literally a plot point that was never resolved.

#aphblr #aphmau #aphverse #mystreet #aphmau mystreet

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mr-laveau · 1 year

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Hi!

First of all, i wanna say i love your art and how every tiny little detail tells a huge story and resmble an important thing in your character

Second of all, how did you that?

I am now your little funky student that needs advice on making ocs more interesting

Oooooooh! Well first of all, welcome to class, my funky student! Secondly, the short and lame answer is:

I'm a character designer, it's my job to know how to do that.

The long answer tho...

In my approach to character design (of which, there are many approaches as this subject is individual-based so my way isn't the ONLY way), I tend to focus on a few things in my initial thought process:

What is this character's story? - What's their role in the plot? What's their personality? What's the setting of their story? What are the deets?

What is the medium in which people will be exposed to this character? - Will they see this character in a game? A comic? A dating sim? An animated show? Is this just a design to be posted? Depending on the medium, this will affect how you design the character, in terms of how that design will be conveyed as its used within the medium.

What do I visually associate this character with? - after understanding the character, what do I associate with this character's concept? What comes to mind when I think of them? Do they remind me of something/someone specifically? What's the connection?

What are icons/symbols represent the above associations and how can I incorporate that into my design? - This tends be very important for me because my style is heavily reliant on shapes and dynamic geometry so depending on that, I can squeeze shapes and symbols in to make the character more interesting and more recognizable to people who view those symbols.

Are there any extra details I wanna squeeze and would they make sense with the narrative? - This question is as basic as follows so ask yourself, is there anything I wanna input to make it fun? If so, what is it and how will it make sense?

Has this already been done? - I've been more keen of this question as I've spent more time in the redacted fandom because the base fact is, everyone has drawn a listener and if I wanna be seen, I gotta be able to stand out. In your case, does your character stand out amidst the rest? If so, cool! If not, then depending on your intention with that design, you may wanna revise your design and see how you can freshen it up in a different way with what you've already thought up.

To more properly explain my process, I'll use my poly redacted OC, Carter Wilde • Casanova, since I think it has a very strong design I can use to explain this process!

What is Carter's story? Carter is a character based on the listener traits of Smartass and Non-canon Freelancer in Lasko's BAs. He's a a telepath and a teacher at DAMN who acts as the main character in his own story to resolve the issues in DAMN from the perspective of a new teacher! He's a fiery soul with unorthodox methods that get his lessons across and a bratty streak around Aaron and Lasko.

What's the medium in which people will be seeing Carter? People will mostly be seeing Carter through illustration which allows me to get creative with how I want to present him but in my usual designs, I will often design them in mind to be a part of an animated show or a dating simulator. For Carter, he's designed in mind to be conveyed in a Visual Novel, hence why he's designed from the waist-up and is designed to be conventionally attractive.

What do I visually associate this character with? Carter is based on my writer username, the Bratty Telepath, and shares a last name with Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet/playwright. As such, I associate him with stuff like the mind, the brain, writing, the rebel genius aesthetic, punk culture and queer iconography!

What are some symbols and icons that represent the associations I've listed above? Some elements in Carter's design are based on punctuation marks!* His hair puff is dyed pink and resembles a brain, his nails are painted in both the colours of the pan flag and the recent poly flag, his tie is loosened, suggesting that he may have a more relaxed form than other teachers, he wears a choker which according to BDSM is indicative of him possibly being a sub, his entire outfit suggests he may not be an average teacher. *His tie and one of his earrings = exclamation mark, his hair tie and his other earring = comma/semi-colon, his bindi (on his forehead) and the buttons on his gloves = periods. Additionally, his nails are painted in CMYK which is a colour model used in printers.

Are there any extra details I wanna squeeze and would they make sense with the narrative? The bindi was also a last minute decision for me actually but worked out because Carter is desi and raised closer to his Indian culture and the bindi is believed to be representative of the third eye which also adds to the fact that Carter's a Telepath.

Has this already been done? Not to my knowledge...in this fandom, so I think I'm pretty good on this end.

I hope that gave you an idea of what I was talking about! I love pulling together stuff like this cuz it's really fun pushing things together and forming something seemingly simple but intricate! Hope that helped!

#MLQnA #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fandom #mr. laveau's art gallery #redacted fanart #redacted asmr fanart #redacted audio fanart #character design #redacted oc #redacted smartass #redacted asmr smartass #redacted audio smartass #ask stuff #ask #ask box #thanks for the ask!#DC. My funky student ⭐

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bora-panda · 1 year

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TWD Daryl Dixon Aroace

The Walking Dead Headcannon

Okay. I’ve had this headcannon for quite a while now and I can’t think of a better place than Tumblr to spew it out.

I’ve been watching The Walking Dead for about a year now (I’ve almost finished season 10) And through the entirety of what i’ve watched I feel sooo strongly that Daryl is Aroace (or at least Aromantic)

He has never had a love interest despite him being a main character amongst many, most all of which have a love interest (or at least mention of one). Many people think he had a romantic relationship with Carol, Beth, and Connie (not all at once...) throughout the show. And you can see them however you want of course, but I never saw those as anything more than a very strong bond of unromantic love (similar to Daryl and Rick’s relationship). I feel like Aroace is such a hard concept for (non aroace) people to understand. Romantic love is shown in almost every single piece of media, and its forced so much into the spotlight, so many people don’t realize that non-romantic love is just as strong of love as romantic. The relationship Daryl has with Carol, Beth, and Connie throughout the show is such a unique thing to see in shows like this, where romance is forced so hard with every character to make things more interesting. But the fact that Daryl has multiple characters that we see him have a very strong bond with, and none of them are canonically said to be romantic, proves my headcannon further.

Him and Connie are probably my favorite duo. And I was worried for a second that they would become romantic, but then I saw a scene that really solidified my aroace Daryl headcannon. S10:E6 (about 13 min in) Daryl and Carol are talking and Carol mentions Connie, asking if they’re anything special. Daryl replies “Nah, it’s not like that. Not at all”

Not to mention that there are many canonically queer characters in TWD already. Obviously there could/should be more, but...as far as tv shows go I feel like they did a good job normalizing it within the series. For instance, Aaron has said on many occasions “the man I am in love with”, and there has never been a negative reaction from the characters to that. Aroace is just such an unknown identity within the queer spectrum, so I feel like it wouldn’t ever happen canonically, purely cause they wouldn’t know it’s a thing.

I’m just sayin’ in a show where most every single character has a love interest or some sort of romantic thing, the fact that a main character that’s been there since the very beginning hasn’t showed even an interest in having one...in the span of 13 years since the beginning of the apocalypse, or even mention of one before then, sounds pretty aro to me.

Idk...I like it. He’s my blorbo and I love him. So I will indeed queer-ify him mmhm. If he ever gets a love interest I will...idk...not do anything I guess but I will be very very sad.

(ummm ok. Just found out he got a love interest.....but I stand by what I said, every BIT OF IT. Still a very valid headcannon. Like it makes so much sense, the creators are just cowards that probably don’t even know aroace is a thing. But if aroace was a more well known identity, I really feel like that is the path they would have taken with Daryl’s character. That is all :))

#The Walking Dead #the walking dead daryl #twd #twd daryl #twd headcannon #The Walking Dead Headcannon #TWD queer headcannon #twd queer #daryl aroace #Daryl Dixon #The Walking Dead queer #aroace #Aromantic #asexual #aromantic asexual #twd daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl dixon

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metalphoenix · 2 years

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Reacting to TLAT Reviews pt2

I saw Thor: Love and Thunder last night and my friend @marvelvibess just sent me these hilarious reviews of the movie. They are too good not to react to honestly.

{Image description: light grey text on a black background reading: WORSE marvel movie ever!!! Kirby Lee Ditko Steranko and the gang from marvel NEVER not one time created ANY character openly gay or announcing they were gay ..so marvel , Disney stop pushing this please. Create a character that is and so be it.

Korg is not GAY!!No Eternal was gay and in the printed issues I collect never will be. Btw fat man can’t tie his shoes much less be a superhero. This is ridiculous already. Make up your own stories and contaminate those characters. Don’t destroy something that will never be gay! You can’t change a written story for moneys liking. I worked with a gay captain for 11 yrs has nothing to do with pro or anti anything!!! end image discription}

I love this one just because of how wrong it is. A list of canon queer characters from marvel comics: Valkyrie, Korg, Maria Hill, Ayo, Aaron Fisher (Captain America of the railways), William Kaplan (Wiccan), Theodor Altman (Hulkling), Arnie Roth (Steve Roger’s best friend from the 40s and one of the the inspirations for Movie!Bucky), Tony Stark (never officially says but it is heavily implied, here is a good post on it) Yelena Belova, and those are just the 10 I can think of off the top of my head. In fact marvel has a comic called “Marvel Voices: Pride” that is all short comics about many of its queer and trans super heroes!

Also, the thing about Disney making stuff queer for the money really bugs me because its literally the exact opposite. Marvel is straight washing their characters for the movies because they’re afraid it won’t sell otherwise. Money and capitalism is why it is taking so long for us to get the good queer rep we want/need.

{Image description: at the top left there are 4 stars in a line one is yellow while the other 4 are white. The text is light grey on a black background and it reads: Definitely would not recommend for anyone who has free time to watch because it was a waste of my time and money. The overall story was all over the place because of the constant narrative cut scenes, and with propaganda littered throughout the whole movie of LBGTQ+ness it is another reminder of how superheros can’t just be super.

The different representations of the other gods was pretty sad of 2022, and with the whole conflict of the movie being about the “god butcher’ he should have left more of a lasting impression on the characters in the movie. Instead to me all i got was “boggie man” and that was a bit of a downer compared to other more well developed characters. If the original Norse mythology is on your radar there were a couple of fun quips referencing them. However, your beloved characters from Thor Ragnarok end up being drivers for the problems in this world and supporting it, and that is not my cup of tea. end image description}

Ok say it with me DIVERSITY ISN’T PROPAGANDA PEOPLE JUST EXIST. DIVERSITY ISN’T PROPAGANDA PEOPLE JUST EXIST. DIVERSITY ISN’T PROPAGANDA PEOPLE JUST EXIST.

#thor #thor love and thunder #marvel #mcu #reviews #valkryie #korg #canon queer characters #gay #pride #taika waititi

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billiewena · 3 years

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saw someone make a comment about how “there’s no proof sam winchester isn’t straight!!” and it made me realize how new this side of spn tumblr is to bi/pan/nonbinary/queer sam. the history of it, the evidence for it, and most importantly...how fun it can be!!

as someone who’s been in the trenches in both the samgirl/desticule side of tumblr over the years I thought it’d be fun to share some LGBT Sam Winchester History (Herstory? Theirstory?) for anyone new to queer sam headcanons (and canon) but still interested!

sam winchester: COULD he be any gayer??

disclaimer: it’s okay if you didn’t know these things before! a lot of destiel shippers got into supernatural for destiel. that’s not and shouldn’t be controversial? joining spn tumblr doesn’t come with a welcome pamphlet and it’s a show with 300+ episodes. people shouldn’t be expected to have analyzed every aspect of it and know every behind-the-scenes fact. people are STILL discovering new details even in 2021. this is not a “why isn’t anyone talking about this??” post (I hate those posts) but hopefully a "queer sam for newbies.”

the facts

writer and s6-s7 showrunner sera gamble supported a MLM reading of sam as early as s2, revealed in the commentary for the episode “bloodlust”. in the episode, sam has a flirtatious exchange with the bartender eli (coincidentally played by ty olsson, later known for playing benny.) however it’s implied that gamble was shut down as robert singer referred to her queer sam headcanons as nothing more than “sick twisted fantasies”

while this is the only known and confirmed instance of fully intentional queer subtext (similar to dean’s moment with aaron in S8) there have been a few other questionable exchanges with sam and men on cases, i.e. patrick the gambler witch from 5x07 or paul the bartender from 5x17 (both featured in this great gifset). notably, both most instances including these two happen in episodes by gamble.

(sidenote: there’s theories that the main character on sera gamble’s The Magicians is VERY similar to sam and this was sorta her way of having a queer sam-esque character. it is a good show, just know it does NOT end happy for the character in question. the character of quentin doesn’t use any specific labels but is in relationships with men and women in the show all while being a floppy-haired, bookish but powerful nerd just like sam!)

while sam has interacted with both male and female crossroads demon, he has ONLY summoned male ones on his own (check my own breakdown of the history of crossroads demon gender on the show)

sam refers to past/potential love interests with gender neutral pronouns (examples). his actor has also done this in the past when referring to sam's relationships.

he understands terms used in the gay community, i.e. fifth base

some of the fun evidence we use for trans!dean (i.e. the photo ID that says “F” for birth sex) has also happened to sam!

his reaction to seeing a shirtless man in bed

brady is referred to as sam’s demon lover and crowley implies that the two have "history.” I’d compare the popularity of sambrady in the sam fandom to deanlee in the destiel fandom; it’s generally headcanoned that there was indeed a complicated, college relationship there that becomes even more complicated when a demon possesses him. it wouldn’t be the only past love interest of sam’s to be possessed by a demon either.

the 👀

when dean makes jokes like “could you be anymore gay?” sam actually looks pensive like “huh? COULD I be?” this is very much how I would respond to this kind of joke if my roommates made it and we are LITERALLY all queer

he owned a purple dog shirt...is that straight behavior to you.

he’s a canonical theater kid who took an art history course (for “picking up girls” which sounds a lot like an excuse he’d give to not reveal he did it for gay reasons) AND was attached to his high school English teacher, like pick a struggle

he had an imaginary friend as a kid (sully my beloved) with some light queercoding of his own i.e. rainbow suspenders. sully encouraged him to love himself and to not listen to/be like his family

dean has literally microaggressed sam 10x more than sam has microaggressed dean. I would literally go sleep with a guy just to spite him after the 60th comment.

in general, sam’s story is just...queercoded af. “son is treated as wrong and a freak by his father until he leave home at the age of eighteen?” that’s queer baby!! and I get it, I too moved to college in a state I knew my family would never visit as soon as I could!! alexa play The Village by Wrabel.

and lastly but most important (and I say this as a bi!dean truther because helloooo look at my blog)...at no point has sam ever said he is straight. dean has said they are (“we don’t swing that way” in response to victor henrickson) but sam never said anything regarding his sexuality.

are you into the idea of queer sam but don’t know where to start? here are some of my favorite arguments for the different readings along with some personal interpretations and headcanons!

why I think bi/pan/queer/labelless sam is sexy:

saileen, samruby and samjess all feel like bi4bi couples let’s be real here

demon lover brady could’ve actually been his demon lover! the trauma of your college boyfriend / probably first gay experience being a monster used against you??? lifelong disorders! it also wouldn’t be the first time a demon possessed a former sam love interest.

sam’s not hung-up on any of the things dean is hung-up on. labels or orientations, he’s always been open to all of it. just like how sam can listen to a celine dion album or drink “vegetable water” without thinking twice about it. to me, it’s all about how sam has always been comfortable with his sexuality and it not being a big deal for him, and dean just...hasn’t lol.

sexualty is a spectrum! sam can still prefer women and in fact has excellent taste in them (have you seen his girlfriends? have you? this may be the samcoding talking...)

while the majority of queer sam fans ship with him with castiel (and who can blame them, it’s CAS) there’s other cute boyfriends out there for him too:

- max banes, the cool and canonically queer witch from s12. in their first scene together, he defends sam from a stranger asking about his trauma! a man that respects sam’s boundaries? sexy af. also witch!sam and max banes?? sexy af. in general there was so much more the show could’ve and should’ve done with the banes twins, and exploring that through sam’s pov would’ve been fascinating because you know he would try to help max & alicia and understand why he did what he did!

- mick davies, aka sam’s “nerd soulmate” as dean refers to him. sam and mick get each other and bond over their love of learning and making the world of hunting a better place! mick even turns against the BMOL to side with them (but unfortunately dies before that can be realized.) oh, society if mick was resurrected instead of ketch and got to be nerdy bfs with sam...

- one episode-icons patrick the witch (what’s it with sam and witches amiright), paul (my personal beloved) and brady the demon and/or human (a given)

- crowley! while its peak popularity was probably pre-samwena and the drowley summer of love, the samcrowley fandom (formerly known as "moosely" now usually referred to as "cram") is STILL alive and kickin’. they even have cram mondays now!

- and can’t forget ol’ gabriel the archangel. sabriel is a classic “opposites attract” pairing that’s existed ever since sam puppy-dog eyed his way out of a timeloop and you know what? for good reason. two words: height differences.

sam being an ally isn’t nearly as fun to me as sam being out for years and just waiting for his idiot brother to catch up so he can get the stick out of his ass so he can then list of a list of microaggressions dean has made over the years. I think he deserves it.

why I think gay sam is sexy

this post is basically the gay sam manifesto so I’m stealing from there but

basically there are multiple instances where a girl comes onto sam and he very harshly rejects them (i.e. the iconic “I’m lactose intolerant”) and I think it’s funny okay. I love you gay sammy.

why I think nonbinary/he & they sam is sexy:

again, the whole “not hung up on labels” thing. sam using gender neutral pronouns for his past relationships means it makes total sense for them to also refer to themselves with gender neutral pronouns.

a lot of sam’s journey on the show is about their body autonomy and lack thereof (and whatever mother mother was singing about in “body” and ajj in “body terror song”) to me, trans/nonbinary sam is just him reclaiming their body and making it their own again. a chance to heal and be confident in their identity and sense of self.

sam/sammy is literally the perfect nonbinary name!! they struck the gender neutral name LOTTERY I’m so goddamn jealous

long hair, don’t care! nonbinary people have the freedom to mix & match whatever gender expressions they want because they owe no one androgyny. I love the idea that sam’s always been into having more traditionally feminine hair that’s it’s become part of their identity, and one of the most iconic aspects of their character, while dressing and presenting traditionally masculine otherwise.

sam’s actor has vocally supported it he/they sam headcanons! am I a fan of his? of course not! does it still matter just as much as jensen saying dean’s side of the confession is open to all interpretation? yes! actors do not make and cannot make anything canon, but being supportive of it IS still nice and encouraging! can you imagine if misha hadn’t been so open to queer readings of cas? can you imagine if his support was taken away from you? it’d suck!

I’m samcoded and also a they/them, so like...they/them solidarity I guess????

why I think trans!masc sam is sexy:

see less love for this but so far every FTM Sam fic I’ve read has made me cry so that’s gotta be something right

speaking of “makes me cry”, THIS TRANS SAM COMIC BY @kimodraw MAKES ME FULL-ON SOB PLEASE READ IT

there’s lots of interesting show details that could be used as evidence just like trans!dean headcanons (sam being called “samantha” in mostly derogatory manners being deadnaming, the F on his ID that one time, etc.)

sam going from Baby Boy to Buff AF? that’s just the T!

sam + cahartt hoodie = transmasc swag

the john, sam and dean dynamic is only intensified if he was seen as the precious daughter that must be protected (and not as a living person) and adds even more layers when sam return to the family as a man

there is also something compelling about sam becoming a man in a family with such a warped view of masculinity & wanting to redefine the definition of a “man” for himself

as far as headcanons, this post has so many beautiful headcanons of sam growing up trans

sam coming to embrace who he is in college, jess being openly supportive of sam as soon as he comes out, jess joining sam on his appointment to get his top surgery, jess proudly loving her boyfriend as the man he’s grown to become...goddamn it I’m crying again...

why trans!femme sam is sexy (bonus points if it’s trans!lesbian sam):

update: I have been leaning away from this and think this post explains it well (thanks queersamofficial for sharing) but would love to hear from trans!femme fans who want to talk about it! in general, this is a very fanon-heavy interpretation (similar to witch!sam) and think it’s important to know that. tho I always support more trans headcanons over cisswaps/genderbends.

since this is the masterpost tho...all you DO need to know is that sam winchester is very popular with the lesbian spn fan community (science cannot explain this) and there are storylines and moments that I think resonate with sapphic fans similar to how dean resonates with trans!masc fans and cas resonates with ace/demi fans. I even made a post about one. would love to hear people talk about it!

anyways, if you are a fan of trans!femme sam...

known lesbian icon velma from scooby-doo having a crush on sam when they first meet? well...

trans!femme AND witch!sam? best combination known to man, the POWER that has, the IMPACT that has---

trans!femme divorcing herself from not only her old self but her family’s obsession with toxic masculinity? *chef’s kiss*

bonus trans!sam: stream thee t4t samruby post

why I think aro!sam is sexy

this post

sam always associated a “good life” with having a girlfriend or wife, but aro!sam comes to realize he doesn’t need that to be happy. his happy ending can look a lot of different ways.

...tho aro saileen and samruby does compel me

I don’t have much to offer in the asexual!sam departments, BUT my inbox is open to anyone passionate about it who want to talk about it (or anyone who has anything to add here!!)

counter arguments I’ve gotten sometimes:

"___ and ___” was clearly just a homophobic/misogynistic/joke, not evidence of anything

I mean I could say the same for 75% of bisexual dean and destiel evidence so. I approach LGBT sam the way trans!dean fans approach that interpretation (which I also love): taking what was nothing more than a shitty joke from cishet men and turning it into something beautiful that you can relate to and see yourself in instead.

"j*red is the straightest/most homophobic man alive I refuse to see any character he plays as queer”

yo I hate that guy and you should too. luckily these characters are fictional and you don’t need to like the actor to enjoy a character. in fact, actors shouldn’t exist at all anymore I think. I like headcanoning his character as queer/trans just to spite him even. while his actor may have kept him from being the queer icon he deserved to be, the writing (and most importantly the writer’s support) was there.

this is just a made-up version of sam that lives in your head :/

well, yeah? while there is canon evidence for some of these especially the bi!sam truthing, sometimes headcanons are just fanon...and that’s okay! the canon version of the show ended with dean a dead “heterosexual” alcoholic and sam married to some random woman we know nothing about it. what’s wrong with imagining a better more satisfying ending and story for these characters? also, if you think the differences between fanon sam and canon sam are bad you should see the differences between fanon dean and canon dean.

final argument: what queer!sam adds to destiel because they can (and should!) coexist!

“but wouldn’t have sam figured out that dean was lgbt if he was also lgbt?” no? one, there’s a LOT about dean that sam doesn’t know and that’s a major reoccurring theme (especially since dean is a parent figure to him in addition to an older brother). two, even then how do you ever know for sure? my “token straight friend” made jokes for YEARSSSS about her lady crushes and we never took them seriously since she said it was just her being comfortable in her sexuality. guess who came out as bi the past year?

“I’ve been out since Standford” Sam can judge dean for still being hung up on his outdated ideas of masculinity, sexuality, etc. (which he does anyways! now he just has more reason to!)

all of TFW and their friends being LGBT only makes sense because gay people tend to flock to each other like magnets!! science cannot explain this!! all but one of my friends I knew in high school / college has since come out as something!! even one we joked was the token straight realized they were bi this year!! another thinks they might be ace! it never stops!!!

the impala is basically now just the “down with cis” car

the chaos of sam and cas’s friendship is not only explained if they’re both queer but ELEVATED

jack gets THREE gay dads!! the literal dream

when dean does come out, he still has the most supportive brother in his corner ready to help him be more accepting of himself...but also to help educate him on queer issues because let’s be real, dean has some learning (and unlearning) to do. charlie and sam are preparing a powerpoint as we SPEAK.

but he’s allowed to still microaggress dean because 1) that’s what he deserves for helping make sam’s childhood one long macroaggression and 2) he’s funnier about it. dean and sam ARE a win for gay homophobe rights.

at the end of the day, the show never even let dean be openly bisexual so what better form of rebellion is there than headcanoning no spn character as cishet? you can’t give us one good gay movie kiss and now ALL your characters are gay & trans, bob singer <3

most importantly: sam, dean, and adam all being lgbt??? john winchester’s worst nightmare baby!

at the end of the day, they are literally all fictional and this is a sandbox in which we can do whatever we want! no one wins by keeping someone from headcanoning a character as any form of LGBTQIA, but we do have fun to gain!

on that note, here's some fun queer sam tumblr posts to start you on your journey: (x) (x)

I also highly recommend the blog queersamofficial (which shares fun posts & ships) and sambrosia’s sam slash anyone series if you want a fun introduction to all the sam ships out there! (includes m/m and f/m)

update: I also now have a side samblog (@alivegirlsam) if you’re a multishipper who considers yourself sastielcurious or just want to talk more about queer sam, trans sam, sam in general.

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spencers-renaissance · 3 years

Text

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy

Summary: Spencer's gay. He joins the BAU and befriends the team, but it is 2003. It's a secret he has to keep. He just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Tags: gay!spencer, coming out, hurt/comfort, insecure!spencer, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, dad hotch, protective!hotch, protective!derek, childhood trauma TW: one instance of explicit homophobia, but it is referenced a lot, as is Spencer's internalised homophobia at the start of this fic. A shit ton of heteronormativity but tbh that's just canon lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid/OMC, Spencer Reid & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid

Word Count: 6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Consider this my contribution to pride month 😌 I've waited so long to post it and I'm so glad I'm finally doing it because it's definitely one of my all time favourites <3 Gideon is here somewhere but just like with all my early season fics he's not really part of the plot I combined my moreid and gen taglists bc it was hard to know the audience for this, but just ignore it if you're not interested!

you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn’t do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore. — richard siken, a primer for the small weird loves

Spencer has only told one person in his whole life.

His mother guessed. For as long as he can remember, she’s used gender neutral pronouns when talking about his future partner, read him all the gay literature she could find, promised him that he’s perfect just the way he is.

The trouble is that Spencer only believes her until the first grade, when Ryan Sampson shoves him over in the playground and calls him gay. His mom had only ever used that term in a sweet, loving way, taking care to associate such words with positivity, as long as his dad wasn’t around to hear. When that word comes out of Ryan Sampson’s mouth, it is not said with sweetness and love; it is said with venom, and Spencer learns quickly that his mom is wrong. He is not perfect just the way he is.

And so, he keeps it a secret. When his mom notices him getting uncomfortable at the mention of future partners, she stops bringing it up, though she refuses to give up the diverse education she provides for him outside of school. His dad tells him that one day he’ll be a strapping young man and marry a nice girl in a church, and Spencer nods along. He ignores the way his stomach turns with anxiety at the thought. Ignores the screaming match his parents have that night. Ignores the fact that it started because Diana chipped in with ‘or boy’.

He’s in high school by the time he’s twelve, and the only part he’s grateful for is the absence of pressure to get a girlfriend. His dad’s out of the picture now, and Spencer tries not to let himself think that maybe if he wasn’t like this he might have stayed. Diana’s so out of it most days that she doesn’t remember what she noticed about him when he was a child, only recalling the last few years of shoving himself so far back in the closet he can hardly see the door anymore.

It feels like he’s lost his last ally.

(He hates that a small part of him feels relieved she doesn’t remember; that he almost feels assured by the fact that the last person to know who he really is has forgotten. There is only this version of Spencer Reid now. No other exists.)

He makes the mistake during his second undergraduate degree. He’s just turned eighteen but he is already a doctor and, fortunately, this alienates him from most of his peers, but someone manages to slide past his defences. Ethan Miller is twenty, in the second year of his (first) undergraduate degree in Chemical Engineering, and he’s nice. Spencer doesn’t have a lot of experience with friendship, but they get on well and Ethan makes him laugh. For the first time, he feels comfortable in the presence of anyone other than his mother.

They slip into an easy friendship: waiting for each other after class — Spencer back in the undergraduate buildings now he has his first PhD under his belt — and going out for ice cream and pizza and Thai food. Ethan goes to parties while Spencer studies, and then they reconvene to watch Doctor Who and play cards.

For almost a year, Spencer keeps his secret carefully locked up, hidden behind the mask he’s perfected after so many years. Even though he’s eighteen, nearly nineteen now, he doesn’t try and explore that side of himself. No, that’s far too risky. He doesn’t try and pretend any other way either, he just stays silent and lets people’s assumptions lie for him, but he can’t help the longing that claws up his throat when he locks eyes with a passing guy on campus. One time, he’d seen two men kiss on a bench in the city, and he’d run back to his dorm and had a panic attack. Why couldn’t he have that?

The feelings don’t stop, and he doesn’t know how to make them. He hates that he isn’t normal, but still longs for the touch of a man, the feeling of being wrapped up in strong arms, of being kissed by dry, chapped lips, and falling asleep to a heartbeat approximately 11% slower than that of a woman’s.

It’s a constant battle inside him, emotions raging, and he struggles to control it, suppress it, tame it.

He pays a sorry price.

Ethan makes him feel comfortable, and that turns out to be a detriment. He relaxes around the other boy: he tells him about growing up as a pre-teen in a high school, about how a child feels living 260 miles away from home, even about his mother’s illness.

And one day, it slips out. They’re on the beach, lying on towels as they look up at the blue sky, talking about what their futures will look like: Ethan will be a successful chemical engineer in Berlin, and Spencer will work for the FBI, profiling serial killers.

“You’ll have to marry a German girl,” he tells Ethan. “It’ll be tough to convince an American girl to move all the way to Germany as soon as you graduate.”

“Yeah, and what about you? You’ll be off fighting crime around the country, not much of a life for a family.”

“Oh, I imagine my husband will be the type to—”

“Husband?”

Spencer freezes. It shocks him as much as it shocks Ethan. He doesn’t even pay much attention to Ethan’s disgusted face and his outraged tirade. He hears slurs and insults, hears him say that he can’t believe Spencer tricked him like this, that he was probably waiting to make a move on him, that he was never to look in Ethan’s direction again, but Spencer is frozen in time.

He’s never allowed him to think much about what his personal life might look like in the future, but he’d said ‘husband’ on instinct, without thinking, and it’s clearly something he actually wants. Ethan’s words sting, but the moment brings about a realisation Spencer is thankful for; it instigates a journey of self-discovery and self-expression, of the joy of living as your true self.

He loses his first and only friend, but he gains something much more valuable. He visits gay bars — nervously sipping a non-alcoholic drink in the corner at first, before soon becoming confident enough to respond to the men who sidle up to him and ask for his name. He lets go and dances the night away, sometimes going home with one of the many dance partners he acquires during the night, sometimes heading back to his own dorm happily alone.

Makeup and dresses and skirts and heels make their way into his wardrobe, and he befriends girls and drag queens and other gay men who encourage him to be exactly the way he is. And the best part is, he never has to come out to any of them. All of them know, and that’s good enough for everyone.

The fun comes to a sad sort of slow, however, when he joins the BAU. Everyone knows law enforcement’s relationship with the LGBT community is less than adequate — Spencer’s seen it with his own eyes: butch lesbians and men in dresses getting roughed up by angry police officers for ‘lewd behaviour’ or ‘drunkenness’ when they’re just being themselves. It’s not safe for him to tell anyone, so he doesn’t.

He still goes out with his friends when he’s in town and wears makeup and dresses and crop tops when he’s at home, but presents as rigidly straight Dr Spencer Reid to his team at the BAU.

The hardest part about it is that he loves his team. He’s known Gideon for years — and he wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects something after coming over to his house unannounced one night, only to have a man other than Spencer open the door — but he settles into a comforting dynamic with Hotch. He can’t help but see him as something of a father figure, and he knows Hotch has a soft spot for him, always looking out for him and taking him under his wing without a moment’s hesitation.

Elle, JJ, and Penelope all take a shine to him, too, teasing him without a hint of malice in their tones, only the kind of playful kindness that reminds him of his mother. He forms a special bond with Penelope and they spend hours watching Doctor Who together and geeking out on all the areas their interests overlap, and the comfort he feels with her matches the comfort he’s found with his new group of queer friends.

(She doesn’t hold a candle to Ethan, he decides one night, after he’d cried at a movie she’d made him watch and she felt so bad she made him hot chocolate and jam toast and cuddled him until he felt better.)

Derek becomes a brother to him. He puts him in a headlock at least once a day — which Spencer has been reliably informed by multiple sources is a very brotherly thing to do — and teases him relentlessly, while simultaneously being fiercely protective of him. Enough so, that Spencer sometimes wonders if he even has Hotch beat in that department.

He loves his team and his team loves him. It should be simple. It is still 2003.

He comes in one morning late for a briefing, his shirt buttoned wrong and his hair is a mess, and he’s fairly sure that his attempt to cover the hickey at the base of his neck with concealer has been ultimately unsuccessful. It’s obvious why he’s late. Gideon is too engrossed in the case file to notice, but Hotch raises an eyebrow, an amused look on his face as everyone else immediately takes to teasing him.

“Who’s the lucky lady, pretty boy?”

Elle raises an eyebrow to match Derek’s shit-eating grin, “Someone definitely got some strange last night.”

“When do we get to meet her, Spence?” JJ asks, smirking as he takes a seat.

He’s bright red — as if he needed to look any more debauched — and Spencer tries to ignore the hurt that seizes his chest at the reminder of his need to stay quiet. This team respects him, and he can’t throw that away just because Spencer gets too comfortable.

God, he wishes Penelope was here.

“None of your business,” he mutters, trying to keep his tone light. He fails.

Naturally, Hotch notices and swiftly moves the briefing on, and Spencer keeps his gaze locked on the case file, not missing the absence of a reprimand from his superior. He’s constantly thankful for the older man, but in this moment, he wishes he could hug him.

(A voice that sounds dangerously close to Ethan’s rises up and taunts him in his ear: he wouldn’t want a dirty homo like you anywhere near him—)

Derek doesn’t let up on the case, continuing to bug him about the special lady in his life. He does concede that it could’ve been a one night stand, which is one front he’s right on, but a couple more concessions are necessary before Derek comes close to the truth of last night.

Eventually, Derek stops, and Spencer notes that the cessation of comments comes suspiciously close to the last time Derek and Hotch were alone together. He doesn’t have it in him to feel angry at Hotch for stepping in when he had it handled; doesn’t have the energy to act as though his pride is wounded, because really, neither of those things are true, and he doesn’t need to add another item to ‘Spencer Reid’s List of Things He Pretends to Be.’

The situation is forgotten, and time moves on.

Things change when he finds his first proper boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the giddying rush of emotions it turns out to be, and Spencer spends his days smiling as he daydreams his time away.

His name is Oscar Wilkins, a History professor at Georgetown University, and Spencer falls quickly in love with him. Ever since their mutual friend had introduced them at a gay bar one evening, they’d spent all their free time together. He’s kind and gentle and understanding of Spencer’s hectic and unpredictable job, and he finally has the chance to experience everything he quietly and shamefully longed for as a teenager.

The only downside is the silent breaking of Spencer’s heart that the most important people in his life can’t meet his boyfriend. He longs to show Oscar off, to hold hands in front of his team, lean up to press a tender kiss to Oscar’s lips. He wants to put a framed picture of the two of them at the Washington Monument on his desk to remind him of why he needs to get through the hard days; he doesn’t want to have to sneak out of the hotel room he shares with Derek to whisper hushed, loving goodnights over the phone.

But he’s too scared. Too cowardly.

It’s different being who he is with his gay group of friends littered with wlws and drag queens and other gay and bisexual guys. They understand.

But Derek and Hotch are two extremely masculine, alpha men: Derek’s a ladies’ man and Hotch is married to a woman he met in college with a baby on the way and both have a strong and dominant energy that still sometimes manages to intimidate Spencer even after all these years. And Elle and JJ are lovely — some of his closest friends, really — but sometimes they remind him a little too much of the mean girls he went to high school with.

The hardest person to keep his secret from, though, is Penelope. She’s his best friend and he desperately wants to give her all of him, but he’s so scared. He’s lost a best friend to this secret before, and even though he’s certain she’d be fine with it, what if she accidentally let it slip to Derek? What if Hotch found out and didn’t see him in the same light anymore? What if the girls started teasing him? What if Gideon didn’t want to mentor him anymore?

The fear paralyses him. And it’s a cycle he doesn’t know how to break.

Fear, though, doesn't stop everyone from noticing his daydreaming, his dopey smile when he checks his messages, his urgency to get home where he would’ve stayed until the small hours of the morning before. As excellent as he is at hiding his sexuality, he’s fucking terrible at hiding the fact that he’s in love: it was easy enough to pretend he was straight, but hiding something this all-consuming is an impossible ask.

Derek comes over to perch on the edge of his desk one afternoon, sighing as he sits down. “Pretty boy, this is getting ridiculous,” he says, snatching Spencer’s attention away from his phone. “You’ve been grinning like an idiot for the last twenty minutes as you’ve texted Future Mrs Reid. When are we going to meet her?”

(He hates the new nickname the team has given his mystery significant other, although Oscar had found it hilarious. “It’s funny because when we get married, we’ll hardly be able to tell,” he’d argued through his laughter. “Neither of us will change our name because of our academic profiles, and we’ll both still be ‘Dr’. Our wedding rings will be the only indicator.”

Spencer hadn’t argued back, because he’d been too tongue-tied and flushed pink at Oscar’s use of ‘when’ in regards to their hypothetical nuptials. It was only made bearable by Oscar kissing him gently and tucking him under his arm, not embarrassing him any further as Spencer had sort of anticipated, warmth settling over his chest at the thought of their future together.)

“You won’t,” he replies, perhaps a little too curtly.

Derek starts at that, clearly not expecting it. He definitely should’ve tried to play it off as a joke. “What— should I be offended, pretty boy?”

You wouldn’t call me that if you knew who I really am.

“That’s up to you, Derek,” he says calmly, although he still can’t meet his eyes, “but you won’t meet the ‘Future Mrs Reid, so I think it would probably be best if you left it alone.”

“Damn,” Derek mutters under his breath, clearly pissed off and probably more hurt than Spencer ever intended. “Suit yourself.”

And with that, he gets up and leaves his desk. Spencer’s only solace is the text message he sees on his phone when he picks it back up: I love you so much. You know that, right?

The light-hearted ridicule comes to an abrupt halt after the incident with Derek, and it’s clear that he had been the biggest contributor to the teasing. He’s thankful that the jokes have stopped, but he wishes desperately that it didn’t come with the growing distance between him and his team. Loneliness takes the place of his previous irritated anxiety, and he isn’t sure what’s worse.

It all comes to a head at the end of a case in Michigan. They’re stuck in the lounge of the small inn they’d stayed in the last few days, a snowstorm having blocked them in and grounded the jet, although Gideon had long since retreated to his room. The fire’s going and they’re the only guests around, so it’s cosy enough, but Spencer can’t help but feel sick at the idea of another night away from home.

It’s only been two weeks since he’d snapped at Derek, but the chasm between him and the team is only widening with each passing day. He knows it’s not a case of ‘pick a side’, but the team’s morale relies on light-hearted banter and teasing, and him not being a part of that anymore has only brewed awkwardness. Everyone’s trying to give him space when space is the last thing he wants.

Oscar’s keeping him company over the phone at least, but it’s not quite enough to quell the loneliness swimming around his stomach, and the 'discrete' sideways looks he gets from the team only make him feel worse.

“At least it’s nice and toasty in here,” JJ sighs as she takes a sip of the hot chocolate the kindly inn owner had made for them all.

Elle hums in agreement. “There are worse places to be grounded.”

“I dunno, man, I just wanna get home,” Derek says, not taking his eyes off the fire. Spencer can’t help but agree.

“Oh, come on,” Hotch muses, considerably more jovial now the case is over, “we’re here, and that’s not going to change any time soon. We should make the most of it.”

“It’s at least nice to be somewhere sort-of Christmassy now it’s December,” Elle points out. “We could be stuck in a dingy police station like we probably will be next week.”

“Ooh, I noticed that Jemimah and Kiran started planning the Christmas party last week,” JJ says, smiling at them. “I offered my help, but they seem to have it covered.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow“That’s probably a good thing. You don’t need more work on your plate.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” she murmurs, smiling as she brings her mug to her lips again.

Spencer doesn’t miss that Derek is still stewing on the opposite side of the room.

“Are you looking forward to the Christmas party, Spencer? Will you come?” Hotch asks, clearly trying to rope him into the conversation, which he appreciates. He’s been making a lot of effort with him the past few weeks, and it’s just about the only thing that’s getting him through each day.

Before he can reply, though, Derek erupts from the other side of the room; an already pissed-off man being pushed over the edge. “He won’t even let us meet his fucking girlfriend, Hotch, he’s not gonna want to come to the Christmas party!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air as he glares at Spencer with a stormy expression raging across his face.

Suddenly, Spencer can’t stay silent anymore, and his retort shocks himself just as much as it does everyone else. “I don’t have a girlfriend!”

It might be the loudest he’s ever shouted in his whole life. He’s always been quiet and restrained, the type to state his feelings as calmly as possible no matter how he’s feeling on the inside. Even in the biggest fight he’s had with Oscar, his voice was barely loud enough to qualify as a shout.

There’s a brief stunned silence, but Derek quickly slices his way through it, voice raising to meet Spencer’s fiery emotion, fierce and loud. “Oh, don’t even go there, Reid, you’re really gonna try and argue that? You’re gonna lie about her as well as not let us meet her? What a boyfriend you are.”

“I don’t! I don’t have a girlfriend!” he repeats, voice catching this time as tears rise unbidden to the backs of his eyes and all the emotions of the journey he’s taken with his sexuality over the years flood him in a wave of intensity he’s not prepared for.

“You’re fucking lying—!”

“I have a boyfriend!” he yells. “Alright? I have a boyfriend. I’m gay.”

The anger and emotion quickly dissipates, and he’s left standing alone in front of the team he’s put so much effort into hiding this from, watching shock spell out across everyone’s expressions. He’s never felt smaller than he does in that moment, and he quickly grabs his phone before running upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him.

“Oh God, Oscar, I fucked up so bad,” he cries over the phone as soon as his boyfriend picks up.

“Hey, hey, breathe, baby,” Oscar says gently, but Spencer can hear the anxious concern in his voice, “it’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I just— Oh God, I just told the team.” A new wave of horror rolls over him as he realises what he’s done. Times might be changing, but it’s still only 2006, and he doesn’t know each and every nuance of his team members’ political positions and, fuck, he hates that his existence is a fucking political position.

Oscar’s been so understanding of his reluctance to not tell the team, even though Spencer’s met pretty much everyone in his life. He isn’t sure what he’s done to earn such a gracious and understanding boyfriend, but he’s not about to question it.

“Baby, I know it’s scary, and I know you’re really worked up right now,” he counsels, voice soft and reassuring, using the nickname he knows Spencer loves the most to make him feel as safe as he can from 700 miles away, “but it’s probably not as bad as you think. From what you’ve told me about the team, they love you so much, and even in the case that in the past they've had some issue with gay people, I can't imagine they’d ever actually think of you any differently when it comes down to it, Spencer.”

He’s crying too hard to reply, and Oscar understands immediately, gently transitioning into a story about his day that slowly starts to calm him down, and by the time he’s wrapping it up, his tears are starting to subside.

“Thank you, Ozzy,” he whispers into the phone, lifting himself up off the floor and making his way to sit on the bed instead.

“You know I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he murmurs warmly. “Do you want me to stay on the phone for a bit?”

“Yes please,” he whispers again, holding it as close to himself as possible, drawing all the comfort he can from his boyfriend’s voice.

He lies there listening to Oscar’s voice and trying not to think about the disaster downstairs for a good ten minutes before there’s a tap at the door.

“Oz, there’s someone here,” he says, voice panicked.

“I think you should probably speak to them, baby,” he urges. “I’ll stay on the phone with you while you do, if you like?”

“Please.” He gets up from the bed gingerly, keeping his phone tightly gripped in his right hand as he slowly unlocks the door with his left, revealing Hotch on the other side.

“Hey, Spencer. Do you mind if I come in?”

He’s riddled with nerves, but Hotch is smiling warmly, and he’s never said a harsh word to Spencer, so he steps aside and lets him into his room.

Hotch quickly notices the phone in his hand, visibly still on a call. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Spencer nods.

“Do you mind if I talk to him?”

His brows knit in confusion and his lips part slightly in surprise, but it’s all he can do to hand the phone over, watching Hotch carefully.

“Hi, Spencer tells me this is his boyfriend?” Hotch inquires politely into the phone, his tone still warm. “I’m Hotch, Spencer’s boss.”

He can vaguely hear Oscar speaking on the other end of the line, and he worries slightly that Oscar will somehow give away the familial feelings he holds for Hotch, but the conversation doesn’t last long enough for the anxiety to really take over.

“Everything’s fine here, I just want to have a conversation with Spencer, so is it alright if we hang up and I talk to him alone for a minute? He can call you straight back afterwards.” After a brief pause in which Oscar says something, Hotch looks back up at him. “Are you okay with that, Spencer?”

He nods hesitantly, and Hotch says a quick goodbye to Oscar before surging forwards and wrapping Spencer in a hug. It catches him off guard, but he doesn’t waste any time in burying his face into Hotch’s neck and soaking in the comfort and warmth that always radiates from his father figure.

“Come on,” Hotch says softly as they pull away a good minute or so later, “let’s sit down, shall we?”

“You’re not mad?” Spencer can’t help but ask, the question burning his tongue as anxiety — however quietened from Hotch’s hug — still swims around in his stomach.

“There are many things that could make me mad, Spencer,” he says earnestly, “but this is not one of them. I would never be angry at you for being who you are, okay? I might… I might be overstepping here, and if I am, then tell me and I’ll back off, but I’ve always seen you as a mentee, and over the years that’s developed— well, I see you more as a son these days. And part of that is wanting to protect and support you no matter what you do or say or who you are.”

Spencer wastes no time in diving back in for a hug, clinging onto Hotch for dear life as he hugs back, rubbing his back gently.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us sooner, Spencer,” he says in a voice soft with affection and regret. “But I’m so glad you’ve told us now.”

He only presses closer at that, tears springing back to his eyes. “I didn’t want to lose you.” He knows what he’s implying, and even in a roundabout way, he’s glad he’s telling Hotch.

“Oh, Spence,” he sighs sadly, “you couldn’t do a single thing to lose me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Really?” he asks, hating how insecure he sounds.

“Really,” Hotch promises, pulling away as Spencer does. “Now, you have a whole team of agents downstairs who are feeling very sorry for themselves and really want to see you.”

Nausea rolls in his stomach and panic springs back up as he looks at Hotch, desperate for some sort of grounding. “Are they angry at me? Do they hate me now?”

“No one hates you, Spencer,” he says firmly. “I promise you that. Everyone just wishes that they’d made you feel more welcome and comfortable. We all hate that you felt you had to lock up something so integral to who you are, and we can’t help but feel we played a part in it.”

“No,” he protests — the last thing he wants is family blaming themselves when it has nothing to do with them, “it’s not your fault, it’s just…”

Hotch nods. “I understand, it’s okay. Now, do you want to go down and see them? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it might help ease your mind to see that they really don’t hate you.”

Spencer pauses, taking a moment to think. “Can I see Derek first?”

“Of course,” Hotch says understandingly, and the comforting smile that crosses his face makes Spencer feel safe and taken care of. “I’ll send him up?”

Spencer nods and Hotch hugs him once more before leaving the room almost reluctantly. He wastes no time in picking up his phone and sending a text to Oscar. You were right. Hotch is fine. He’s just sending Derek up before I go and see the team but he says that no one’s angry and I think I believe him. Thank you, Oscar. I love you.

Not even half a minute goes past before his phone lights up with a text back. I’m so glad, baby. Call me later, okay? I want to make sure you’re okay before I go to bed. I love you more.

Before Spencer can argue that actually, he is the one more in love with the other, a hesitant knock sounds on his door. Nerves suddenly flip his stomach, and he clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times before forcing himself to cross the room, revealing a very worried and regretful-looking Derek.

“Oh, pretty boy,” he says sadly, before crushing Spencer in a warm and tender hug. Immediately, he relaxes into the arms of one of his best friends, and relief courses through his blood at Derek’s reaction. “I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that you were gay or had a boyfriend. That’s completely on me. I don’t care who you love, Spencer, I just want you to be happy, okay? And if this guy makes you happy, then that’s fine by me. But if he ever lays a hand on you or—”

“Derek, Derek,” he laughs, “it’s fine I get it. Thank you, though, I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier and for snapping at you in the bullpen that time…”

“I understand, Spence,” he promises. “It’s in the past, okay? And I’m sorry for pushing so hard. I mean, I’d love to meet him but if you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. It’s your life, man.”

“No, I… I think I want you guys to meet him. It’s been so hard to keep him away from the people I consider my family, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Maybe after Christmas, we can all have dinner or something.”

Spencer smiles shyly. “Well, Oscar’s a great cook, so I reckon we could work something out.”

Derek grins, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he immediately jumps back into teasing him as they make their way to the door to go downstairs and see the rest of the team. “Ooh, lover boy’s got him a chef, hey? What else does this Oscar have going for him?”

Spencer chatters eagerly about his boyfriend to Derek, barely skipping a beat when he joins everyone downstairs, his friends taking his cues and joining in with the conversation seamlessly. He’s had enough fuss for one night, and the warmth and understanding on everyone’s faces tells him everything he needs to know.

“Do you have any pictures of him?” JJ asks, raising an eyebrow with eager expectancy as they all settle back into their seats by the fire, a warm and unbelievably happy feeling settling in Spencer’s stomach.

He blushes, digging out his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “More than a few, I think.”

He finds the most recent picture of his boyfriend — a candid shot of him cooking in the kitchen, spatula aloft, and a huge grin on his face — and hands the phone around.

“Oh wow, you like them buff, huh, pretty boy?” Derek teases as soon as he gets his hands on it, and Spencer’s stomach twists in a sudden bout of fear, expecting to see some hesitancy or even disgust on his friend’s face. What if he thinks that Spencer has a crush on him? What if he’s uncomfortable around him now?

But if Derek’s having any of those thoughts, they don’t show on his face. He’s smiling widely and openly, all the pent-up anxiety and frustration borne from hurt gone from his body language, and he looks completely comfortable sat next to Spencer, his arm stretched out behind him on the back of the sofa.

They sit happily around the fire for a couple of hours, settling into a happy, intimate familiarity Spencer hadn’t realised was missing when he was hiding something so integral to his being from his family, and he’s still smiling when they finally part ways to head to bed, the clock ticking closer and closer to 1 am.

He gets ready for bed quickly, brushing his teeth and throwing on the top he’d stolen from Oscar the first time he’d stayed at his place; a welcome change from his worn and wrinkled suit. As soon as his teeth are brushed and the lights are all off except for his bedside lamp, he pulls out his phone, knowing there’s one more thing he has to do before he goes to sleep.

“Spencer?” Penelope’s voice sounds down the line, clearly concerned. “It’s almost 2 am here, are you okay?”

“I’m gay,” he says, getting straight to the point. The main reason he ever kept it from her was because of his fear of it accidentally getting out to the team rather than fear over her reaction. After all, multiple of his drag queen friends are also hers.

“Oh my God,” she says in that small voice she uses when she’s not actually talking to you, before finally actually replying to me. “Spencer, I’m so happy you told me!”

He doesn’t miss her choice of words, or the way she says them and he tilts his head suspiciously. “You already knew, didn’t you?”

She sighs. “Yeah. I’m sorry, a couple of months ago I saw a text from Oscar on your phone when you went to the bathroom during one of our Doctor Who marathons, and it wasn’t hard to figure out the relationship.”

“And… wait, you’re not mad at me for not telling you sooner?”

“Spencer! Of course not. I was waiting for you to be comfortable enough to share it with me. I felt awful that I knew without your consent but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to catch you off guard or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s fine that you waited, baby genius, I’m just so happy you told me now. What finally gave you the courage?”

“Well, it might have slipped out in front of the team this evening,” he admits sheepishly, “and the only reason I never told you was because I was scared that it would slip out somehow — accidentally, of course, I didn’t think you’d tell anyone on purpose — and now everyone knows. It’s been killing me not to tell you, Penelope, it really has because I love you so much and you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life, it’s just…”

“Whoa, slow down, Spence,” she laughs fondly, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. But I’m glad you finally told everyone and you can be yourself completely with us, now. We all love you no matter what, you know that right?”

“I do now.”

“Good. You should get some sleep, baby boy, it’s late and you’ve had an emotional evening.”

Spencer smiles. “Yeah, I know. You should, too, Pen. I’ll see you when we can finally make it home, okay? Love you.”

“Love you, too, 187,” she says softly, and Spencer can hear the smile in her voice. “Goodnight.”

As soon as he hangs up, he settles down into the bed, turning off the light and pulling the duvet up over his shoulders before dialling one more number.

“Hey, baby,” Oscar says, voice as gentle and caring as it always is, although thicker with tiredness now. “I take it everything went okay?”

“Yeah,” Spencer murmurs, already feeling tired as the safety he always feels at the sound of Oscar’s voice settles into the fibres of his being. “It went so well. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”

“I can’t wait either, sweetheart. Are you in bed now?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Can you talk to me as I fall asleep?”

“Anything for you, Spence,” he says softly, before transitioning seamlessly into a story about the professors on campus, and his gentle comfort and the knowledge of the unconditional love his family has for him finally lulls Spencer into the best sleep he’s had in weeks.

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cancelledboobsubscription · 3 years

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I’ve making headcanons about all of my hyper fixations for a while now and just dumping them on my friends so I’m gonna also dump them here.

If you’re into All For the Game , My Hero Academia, ATLA, The Raven Cycle stay fuckn tuned my doods bc I have a loooot of stuff rattling around my empty skull.

Not all of these are 100% mine some of them are already pretty popular and I’m expanding on them or I heard something similar and edited it to my own tastes

I’ll separate them by series,,,

Theres like one canon that’s mildly nsfw

TW: drug abuse

Mha/Bnha

pro hero kirishima’s Red Riot™️ merch is insanely size inclusive bc he wants fatgum to be able to wear the hoodie that kiri’s pr team sent him but that’s not all,,

If he wasn’t super gay and in love with Bakugou he’d be very Into BBWs so again his merch is super size inclusive bc he wants everyone to be able to wear it

The company that makes the merch also takes requests for special made merch for people who’s quirks interfere with a “normal” size or dimension

ALSO ,,,,this man(kiri) is built like a fuckn MACK TRUCK OKAY he is 6’7” and cannot fit through doorways without ducking and turning a little to the side ,,, he is broad And still wears no shirt™️ ,,, this being said ,, bakugou is still around 5’8” and pretty slim don’t get me wrong he’s extremely strong and toned but he’s not huge,, it makes flying easier if he stays a little lighter ,,,,,,, the point is,, sometimes kiri will pick up bakugou with one arm and bakugou can’t even pretend to hate it anymore

Also,,,, fatgum has to use special pens and keyboards because of how big his hands are,,, he’s literally 8’2” I won’t take criticism on this

Fatgum actually loves wearing red riot and sun eater merch

Allmight and Inko start dating and one day when they’re out someone comments on how much all might “looks like a skeleton” and she absolutley lets loose on them for being so vapid and shallow and how “he’s risked his life to save people like you more times than you have ever even thought about being helpful in your life and it would serve you well to treat someone who’d die for you without even knowing you with more respect”

All might had to gently pull her away bc the guy was crying and she wasn’t anywhere near finished with him

Midnight is Asexual and aggressively pretends to be horny on main™️ because for one, it works with her quirk and two, nothing sells better than sex especially when you’re a woman.

Bakugou and kirishima use sign language to talk shit at Public events

Dabi is addicted to painkillers because he’s been on them his entire life,, he wakes up with the shakes and sometimes toga has to help him take his meds in the morning because he’s already in withdrawal

Tensei was the first one to realize that iida was autistic and immediately did copious amounts of research on ASD and how to be a good brother to him

ATLA

sokka grows his hair as long as Zuko’s (except the sides obvi) and sometimes he’ll wear his hair in the fire nation top knot and zuko loses it every time

Azula gets help and now sometimes when she wakes up with the sun after a night of fitful sleep she goes to the courtyard to have tea with iroh. They never talk, but then again they never need to.

Sometimes after a hard day sokka falls asleep in the bathtub and wakes up to zuko warming the water back up and washing his hair for him

Suki lounges in zukos throne while zuko gets worked up about stuff and paces all around the room

Mai is on the ace spectrum

When sokka and zuko visit the southern water tribe zuko will firebend for the all of the kids in the village,,, they love him so much and sometimes sokka gets a little teary eyed watching him

Sokka braids zukos hair water tribe style and it’s the hottest thing maybe ever

Zuko takes sokka on shopping sprees pretty frequently and sokka fuckn loves it

One time someone has the nerve to call sokka “the fire lords sugar baby” and sokka just flips his ponytail over his shoulder Ariana style and says “and what about it?”

The Raven cycle

Ronan has 100% killed Robert Parrish in his dreams and when he wakes up to see Adam next to him he almost immediately wants to go back to sleep and do it again for all the pain he’s caused Adam

Gansey is oblivious to the fact that he is indeed shredded,, when he gets really worked up he moves his arms a l o t like rolls up his sleeves, crosses and uncrosses his arms and The gang’s favorite is when he puts his hands on his head and subconsciously flexes,,,, literally entire gangsey will group swoon at him and he genuinely thinks they are marvelling at his passion for whatever he’s worked up about

Ronan watched broke back mountain once when he was like 16 and now all he can think about is being a gay cowboy ,,,

Adam will read people’s tarot wrong if theyre douchebags

Don’t you think it’s funny that the ganseys don’t have any straight children?

Blue has a T-shirt from each member of the gangsey (except Noah,, rip Noah) and shes created a terrible Franken-T-shirt by ripping them up and sewing them all back together in an extremely ugly patch work thing

Adam talks in Latin in his sleep and it really freaks his roommate out,, like a lot,, not to mention the fact that Adam already creeps him out to begin with bc he’s got that other vibe that comes from being tied to cabeswater and lindenmere ,, 6 out of 7 days his roommate is convinced that he’s a witch or a fairy or something

Ronan teaches opal how to bake and opal burns everything on purpose

aftg

Neil has definitely killed multiple people to survive

Neil’s mom definitely made him kill someone at least twice to make sure he could kill to survive on his own if they got separated

he probably definitely still has nightmares about each one

Matt and Dan both had a crush on Neil for like 30 seconds and absolutely talked to each other about him

Ppl always talk about how hot it is to crush a watermelon with your thighs,,,, Andrew could do it with his arms

Aarons ass is so flat and Andrew has an absolute dumptruck

Kevin started out as one of those annoying “obsessed with WWII” history guys and now he’s actually very into queer history and will rant about the lavender scare for an hour if you let him

The foxes lounge room(?) has a dart board with riko’s face on it to this day,, they literally have a drawer full of copies the same image of riko and every time one gets worn out they put a new one up. It’s more of an inside joke now but wymack still hates that little puke even though he’s dead so it stays up

Post-canon Neil gets drunk and teaches the team how to steal a car by hot wiring Matt’s truck

Matt does drag for halloween one year and Dan liked it a little too much *cough cough* she pegged him while he was still in drag

Someone once asked Renee if she was “saving herself for marriage like a good Christian girl should” and Allison knocked them out cold and stepped over the body

Neil calls Aaron ugly to his face literally any chance he gets (I feel like this one might be canon but I actually don’t know What’s real anymore)

Andrew Unironically wears a pink apron that says “kiss the cook” that Nicky got him for Christmas when he bakes

Okay I think that’s it ? For now?? Let me know if y’all want more,,,,, I’ll separate them next time I just really had to dump these and I didn’t want to make multiple posts.

I made this at 5:30 in the morning sorry if it’s riddled with typos and errors.

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doctorofmagic · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Stephen and Carol

That was... unexpected, to say the least. Now I have this task to elaborate my feelings and opinions in a way that is paradoxically personal and rational at the same time.

Let’s begin.

Background

Carol and Stephen know each other for a very, very long time. Their first team-up happened in Marvel Team-Up v1 #76 (1978), when Silver Dagger captured Clea (again - and yes, I’ll talk about her later). Both Spider-Man and Ms. Marvel decided to offer a helping hand to Stephen.

Stephen also assisted Carol in a mystic issue, combining their powers in Ms. Marvel v2 #4-5 (2006). It’s from this very run I suspect Kelly Thompson pictured the idea of a relationship between them. Nothing official, but all it takes to assume there’s something else going on is a mere look.

It’s true they were on opposite sides post Civil War, but Carol decided to join the New Avengers later on, which also gives this relationship one more layer.

Lastly, Aaron’s Avengers also featured them on the same team for a while, in addition to the previous Captain Marvel v10 #6-7, in which they swapped bodies and Carol had a taste of Stephen’s pain. We’re also considering Captain Marvel v10 #19 because, at this point, it’s clear that Thompson had plans for them since 2019.

Captain Marvel #27

Since this a blog dedicated to Stephen, it’s hard for me not to look through his perspective. I know the story is about Carol and how she’s struggling to mourn. But you’re all here for him. So this is my very detailed yet not-so-reliable review about their moment together.

....

Stephen is so sweet, wtf.

First, he confesses that he lost a patient on the table, WHICH MEANS that Thompson is following the events of Surgeon Supreme. Honestly? It’s the first comic book to do so. But fine. I can live with that.

Man is not having a good day. In fact, it’s a terrible day, which probably justifies the end. Here we another glimpse that Stephen still can’t deal with loss. Life is so important to him precisely because he has lost so much. In addition, for a moment, he forgets that Carol isn’t supposed to be drinking. So he turns the whiskey into Seltzer. In the meantime, Carol can’t help but relate to him. I know, Carol, I’VE BEEN THERE.

There’s another moment that warmed my heart (in a sense because it’s quite sad when you think about it). Stephen asked Carol if he was bothering her. Do you have any idea how insecure Stephen is? BECAUSE HE IS. He’s always afraid of bothering people and that’s why he isolates himself. That’s why he’s always pushing people away. That’s why he’s so miserable and lonely.

Stephen is the sweetest, I can’t. He doesn’t even know his own favorite color. COME ON, STEPHEN.

I admit, though. They know how to flirt. Stephen is the kind of person who flirts through self-loathing, which is only natural given his mental health. And Carol... Well, she’s a girlboss. It’s perfect. Also he’s sassy. And do I love my sassy boi? Very much.

But here’s another sad thing. Stephen is not seen as a “good addiction”. He’s simply not the worse one. And he’s aware of that. Do you know how I know? I mean, despite all the countless articles I wrote about his self-loathing?

Because of this:

Yet again Stephen is aware that he used someone else to fill his void. And yet again, he was used. I can’t remember the last time Stephen had a healthy relationship. In fact, I can. It was with Linda, the Night Nurse. And that was a loooong time ago. I can’t even begin to comprehend how lonely he feels. And how miserable he feels whenever he fails to create a solid bond. Not only romantic ones, but also platonic relationships and friendships as well. I want him to be happy, it’s not too much. So why am I on the verge of tears?

Fine. I dissected the issue panel by panel, such is my commitment. But how I truly feel about them? Before answering that...

Things to be considered

Hear me out. There’s a very famous forbidden OTP party in Secret Wars: Secret Love #1. I can’t remember the author of the post but here, on this very hellsite, they confirmed some of those OTPs were ships that Marvel would never allow to happen because they’re, well, LGBTQIA ships. Cherik? Yes. Stony? Yes. Kate Bishop and America Chavez? Yes. CarolJess? YES. It’s the closest we’ll ever get to Marvel’s main characters to be queer.

I’m quite open to shipping Stephen with any character. However, I cannot look away when I’ve always rooted for Carol to be an LGBTQIA character. So, much to my surprise, as I was checking the spoilers on the hopes that Jess and Carol would finally have a revelation... STEPHEN HAPPENED. Trust me, Carol stans, this was as much unexpected to me as it was to you.

Truth be told, as a Stephen stan, I get tons of hate, because people mostly know him for his Illuminati era and how patronizing he behaves sometimes. But this is the reason why I made this blog. I want more people to know Stephen as deeply as I do. I know it’s frustrating. But I’m not the enemy. You have no idea how hard I try to find subtle words and clues that Stephen is not straight (because he isn’t, please).

So, after all is said and done... I still think they’re cute. And please, do not hand me down a guilty verdict yet.

I think of Stephen a lot on a daily basis, so it’s only natural to headcanon which heroes he has hooked up with throughout the years. And I swear to Vishanti, Carol crossed my mind a few times. I only figured it would never happen. But it did and now I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. But it’s okay. Because it’s not going to last - and I’ll explain why.

The future

Despite the fact that CarolJess should be a thing™, when it comes to canon, she’s deeply connected to Rhodes. Their relationship is so important to Carol that she sacrificed it out of love. She’s mourning. There’s this feeling of emptiness in her heart, pretty much similar to what Stephen experienced when Clea left him the first time.

They’ve met in a very delicate and frail state of mind and spirit. Some (most?) people do it, as an attempt to fill the void with anything or anyone that resembles affection. They’re aware of that.

That’s why I don’t think it will last. It’s not a relationship born through mutual growth, it’s a relationship born in mourning and sorrow.

You know me, mates. I’d do anything for Stephen’s happiness. But that’s not it. His happiness lies on a powerful sorceress from the Dark Dimension. You know her name. And Carol? Well, if not on Jess because Marvel desires to keep selling comic books to homophobes, then on Rhodes.

It feels just like my hook up list headcanon, only better because there’s angst. And boi, do I love angst?

That said... We have more issues coming, in addition to that beautiful cover for #29. Let’s wait and see. I do think Carol and Stephen share an angsty a beautiful background and that’s why I’d rather have them instead of Elektra. No offense, Elektra and Stephen are HOT. But I believe Carol and Stephen offer deeper layers. And this is why I made such a long post about them and didn’t do the same to Savage Avengers. No matter how hard I try to be rational, when it comes to Stephen, it’s just stronger than me.

PS: forgive me if I missed something, I’m truly exhausted but my mind wouldn’t allow me to rest until I made this post. Thank you for your support.

#doctor strange #stephen strange #carol danvers #captain marvel #jessica drew #spider-woman #james rhodes #war machine #kelly thompson #captain marvel 27 #analysis #wednesday tomes #marvel comics

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nolabballgirl · 3 years

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Hey could you explain why you think Robbe is being racist in the clip? I have doubts regarding the source of his info on the incident (talking canon the only option looks like it was Aaron who repeated the butchered version of the incident as told by Amber because braincells what) and the account was not available. The only way he gets to know that BA is racist is when Yasmina says it in the clip because nobody else in the entire show uses that word with it's due weight. He thinks Yasmina may be wrong and tries to think it might be something else and he is fucking wrong and insenstive for that. He did not defend Britt's actions He said it might be another reason for (in Yasmina's words ) 'they didn't want me to come for ibiza'. He just doesn't realise how big the issue is and so equating his problems with Yasmina's was also wrong because they are different in nature. He was being utterly ignorant to think that the discrimination he faces and the discrimination Yasmina faces are comparable you can't compare tomatoes and potatoes. But I am not being able to see the racism in Robbe. When he heard what Yasmina had to say about her daily experience he just said that hate is not the answer because it never solves the issue in our day to day life, hate perpetuates hate and it's true. He never said Britt wasn't wrong in what she did or police her that Yasmina should apologise, he said they'll listen when Yasmina said they weren't listening to her apology. He appears suddenly, is misinformed, has no idea what Yasmina has been facing because nobody has told him and feels entitled to think he knows how it is for Yasmina. That's being ignorant and a bad friend. And he should apologise for that and learn from it. I am genuinely asking as I feel safe to ask only you. I am sorry if I said something wrong.

hi, Anon! thanks for your ask and your comments! so, i think in order to address your questions as to why robbe's behavior is problematic in this scene, we have to delve into the concept of "whitesplaining" and why it's so wrong. see, racism comes in all flavors and degrees - it's not always so egregious or readily visible as someone calling someone a racial slur or engaging in a hate crime. rather, its a complex, system of behaviors that serve to undermine and hurt people of color in different ways. and a lot of times it's peoples' own subconscious biases and prejudices that underpin these acts. and unfortunately, the queer community is not immune from this.

whitesplaining is one of the types of behaviors that has its roots in white supremacy and white privilege, and so it's important for allies to recognize when they are engaging in this type of conduct. and that it is in and of itself a category of racist microaggression, (and honestly shows the writers' own racism/color blindness trumping real grievances here.)

the term generally refers to the concept of white people explaining away race and difference by declaring "people are people" and essentially denying/negating people of color's own feelings, "making them feel as though they are in the wrong." whitesplaining also involves talking over POC and not listening to them, passing a white person's own judgment as the right answer. it's a riff on the term "mansplaining" so that adds another dimension to a white man (robbe) speaking over a woman of color (yasmina).

let's look at what robbe says. right off the bat, robbe puts yasmina on the defensive by saying "that’s not the you I know." he doesn't even ask her to explain her side of the story, but immediately paints her as in the wrong. honestly, it doesn't matter if robbe heard the story from aaron or from britt herself or didn't even know anything. the fact is that he whiteplains during the entire conversation and calls yasmina a bossy bitch and asks her why she's so hard on everyone, when she says she was only trying to show everyone how racist britt was. do you see how problematic that is and how it serves to uphold a racist ideology of a white person putting their judgment as the correct one and negating the feelings of a woman of color? and then to say that she's not the only one with problems? further diminishing the problems of a woman of color as trivial and condescending over her? it's more than just being a bad friend here. it goes deeper than that.

(and of course the costume/warddrobe dept chooses to put robbe in a sweatshirt with a racist slur and caricature. i think you can understand why many of us were so upset at this 2 for 1 package!)

and i think the important thing here is to point out when our favorites are doing problematic things and that we similarly recognize when we are engaging in wrong or harmful behavior and make corrections to our own conduct. personally, even though i am a woman of color, i have sadly used racial slurs in the past ("g*psy") and ableist language ("l*me"), but i have educated myself to remove these terms from my vocabulary altogether and point out to others to stop using them too. just because we have engaged in problematic conduct in the past doesn't mean that we can't change for the better, such as trying not to whitesplain to our friends of color! anyway, these are my thoughts - i hope this helps!

#wtfock #whitesplaining #anon #answered asks

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i-did · 3 years

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if you’ve addressed this before I apologize but what do you think of claims that Kevin is a poc coded character and his supposed “mistreatment” is fandom racism?

I mean Nora definitely intended for Kevin to be white while writing him, as she did with all other characters who races are not stated as otherwise. And like, I think I’ve seen the post you're talking about and what they describe is not what coding actually means.* There also isn't any textual basis for Kevin to be a POC besides Wymack, who people often see as non-white due to the discomfort over his 90’s tribal tattoos. IDC if people HC Kevin as a POC, but usually he’s just vaguely tan in the way people make Neil. You’ll see a “The Rock” FC for Wymack, but I haven't seen anything that actually goes beyond that. I’ve seen fic’s actively treat Dan, Matt, and Renee racistly, but Neil and Kevin get the same “vaguely tan” treatment and therefore avoid it. Nicky and Riko are different since they're canonly POC and not fanonly, so they fall into a different area.

I would also say Kevin is a pretty common fandom favorite too? So I would disagree with that claim as well. Most people I talk to their favorite is either Andrew or Kevin it seems, then like a few Aaron lovers, and my personal favorite is Neil. These are all canonly white main characters–and are largely still depicted and treated as such. Dan, Matt, Nicky, and Renee are all larger characters than Jean or Jeremy, and besides Nicky, are intended to be white but the fandom decided weren't. So Dan, Matt and Renee all get pushed to the sidelines over favorable ‘white’ characters. Fandom’s racism actually has such wild layers tbh, same with its misogyny, but that’s another thing.

I do think with a lot of the characters in AFTG adding headcanons making them POC can add an entire new layer to the canon and recontextualize scenes and struggles which would make some themes a lot stronger–I do this with most of the foxes in fact.

But Kevin to me, if I do HC him as a POC, he is going to be white-passing and raised essentially believing he is white until he learns otherwise.

Kevin to me is very peak white guy. I love him as a character, but book 1 he shows very typical white guy arrogance. He comes to a team and bosses them around while also dismissing them in the same breath. He believes he is owed something from the people around him, and they will blindly follow him and do what he says. They should always listen to him, and he automatically knows what is best–better than Dan. This feeling of “what I ask will be given, and I am above them” is definitely due to the raven mentality of everyone is inferior, but I’m sure there were racist raven recruits along the way, and Kevin is usually HC to be brown and not East Asian/Japanese, which experiences a very different type of racism. I believe if Kevin was a brown MOC… he would act differently.

Personally, I see white-passing Kevin discovering he’s not actually white as much more narratively interesting and fitting. His mom is Irish, and it's very rare for a mixed kid to be perceived by society to look more related to their white parent than their brown parent–unless of course they're white-passing. And since the fandom usually has Wymack be a MOC, then it would make sense for this green-eyed light skin baby that never is outside but when he is he just kinda tans but is still light skinned, and think “yeah I believe her when she said he’s not my kid.” I also think it could fit Kevin’s arc of realizing Exy isn't all there is to him, in fact there is a whole culture and a father waiting for him to connect with, that he didn’t even know was there ‘as an option.’ it gives him something else to tack onto his identity as well that he had no idea about and was sheltered from.

I’m still not solid on my own HC for Wymack and Kevin and if he will be white-passing or just white yet, but I play around with the idea sometimes for sure. But I don’t ever see him as visibly a POC. He feels no need to prove himself like Thea does and the media is shown to go easier on him as well as the foxes. The foxes are annoyed with him, but they ignore it, and the media forgives him easily and fawns over him, telling him he’s handsome and talented. Kevin from an outside perspective is very privileged in a way that parallels with Allison a lot actually. Who was based off of Paris Hilton– disowned wild child of a rich family that owns Hilton hotels, struggled with the public eye and is credited as the original influencer.

*But yeah POC coding isn’t really a term like queer-coding is. Queerness is something that must be unstated for various reasons, which led to coding for either vilification or because there was no other way for it to be shown. But media dives pretty hard into ‘othering’ with POC, doing it’s best to show all the ways whiteness is different from ‘the rest’ by playing up stereotypes or extra emphasis on non-white features. I mean the first ever ‘talkie’ or modern day movie, had blackface in it, (the jazz singer). There is no perceived societal need for ‘POC coding’. There is such thing as ‘Jew coding’ however, which again is used for vilification and dates back pretty far in depictions of devils in churches in Europe. Kevin isn't shown as a ‘gay pervert’ like queer-coding does, or ‘dark curly hair and a strong nose, with his hands rubbing together’ like Jew-coding does. POC aren’t treated with coding but rather a full dive into minstrel depictions instead.

Kevin is shown as sympathetic but also struggling, he is a victim, but he is also harsh. He is struggling with addiction that gets enabled by the other people around him who don’t know a better way to help. He has an arc, he learns to grow, he gets the tattoo, he talks to Wymack, he fights with Dan, he speaks to Jean, he scores the last point on the winning game, he learns to stand up to Riko. He develops in the books, and is one of the 3 main characters, Neil, Andrew, and Kevin.

I think the fandom definitely focuses mostly on Andrew and Neil, which is unsurprising since they're the main pairing and get the most development and attention by the author as well. But the nature of fandom and fanfiction typically is to have all the background characters act as overly invested props to get the main paring ending up together. That's just kinda the way fanfiction typically goes. Kevin still largely is a character with his own thing going on, often recovery or dating other people or grumbling in the background with his own thoughts, in fics a lot more than any of the other characters in AFTG who aren't Andrew and Neil. I don’t think Kevin gets excessively ‘mistreated’ either, I think he gets a lot of the similar flattening out of his character we see a lot in general in fandom, whether its for a joke post or a fic.

#ask #anti semitism tw #racism tw #homophobia tw #Stereotyping tw #mailob #fandom culture #fandom psychology

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side-effect-of-the-meds · 4 years

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Hc prompt! If the aftg characters like to read what genres do you think they gravitate towards? (I’m 100% on board with the hc that Aaron reads educational textbooks for fun because I do the same and like Abby is just eating up those gardening books with a healthy side of cooking books in a futile attempt to become better at desserts)

If Neil doesn’t have his nose buried in a math textbook or an exy play book, he’s catching up on the books he missed reading in childhood. Most of the Foxes own copies of books like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and Percy Jackson so, as soon as he finishes one, they’ve got another ready for him. He’s not super into most of them but Percy Jackson has a special place in his heart bc Percy too finds himself in a shit ton of trouble bc of exactly one of two things: a) his father or b) his own goddamn mouth.

Andrew is canonically a criminal psych major so he reads mystery novels and runs a blog where he methodically takes apart every aspect of the book and evaluates the validity of the motives of characters. He’s ripped apart every major mystery novelist for their shitty stories.

Kevin reads a lot of nonfiction history books. Ask him about the fraught relationship between the UK and Ireland. I fucking dare you. He and Neil can go at it for hours and they tend to slip into their Irish and British accents respectively.

Aaron does in fact read medical textbooks just for kicks. No one knows what kind of kicks he’s getting until he pinches one of Jack’s pressure points and he crumples. You thought Andrew was the one to watch out for? Wrong bitch. Aaron is equally as terrifying as his brother.

Nicky reads a lot of books queer characters. It makes him really soft and teary-eyed. He tries to convince the twins to read them. Both of them refuse but silently steal the books when Nicky’s back is turned. They make subtle references and Nicky never knows whether it’s a coincidence or if they’re doing it on purpose.

Matt is super into true crime novels and had a rabid obsession with the Butcher of Baltimore. He burns every book he has with any mention of him after Neil’s kidnapping.

Dan likes action books/spy novels. She really enjoys trying to predict the twists and turns that it’ll take. She also likes to consider how she would have handled the situations had she been in them and wondering which members of her team would be in which roles.

Allison is secretly a Jane Austen/classics kind of person. Renee knows this and uses it against her. You know those scenes where the main love interest grabs the ungloved hand of the main character while looking up into their eye as he press a chaste kiss to the back of their hand? That’ll put Allison out of commission for days. Catch her simpin for Renee at all hours of the day after an occurrence like that

Renee, honest to god, believes in ghosts. She reads paranormal novels only to have the bejeebers scared out of her bc she fully believes that an angered spirit could come back with such a vengeance. After finishing a book, you can find her cowering in Allison’s bed. Allison has no problem comforting her poor girlfriend after particularly scary books.

#just a pipe dream #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #tfc #andrew minyard #andrew joseph minyard #all for the gay #neil josten #the foxes #aaron micheal minyard #aaron minyard #kevin day #nicky hemmick #dan wilds #matt boyd #allison reynolds #renee walker #reveal to me your deepest desires

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