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long-live-astronerd-ghost-king · 19 days

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DPxDC prompt. Fae!Danny x Jason. Dead on main. Death of a Fairy Tale. or

"Oh no! This tricky hooman stole my heart! What should I do?" *becomes a leader of his court and, just in case, overthrows the tyrant Pariah Dark in order to allow marriages with representatives of other races and live happily ever after with Jay*.

~~~~~

“You're not allowed to be here. This is not your territory.”

Jason barely had time to catch his breath after escaping from the hot dog vendor when someone noticed him hiding in the bushes.

There were no rides for children or food vans in this park, so Todd didn't understand why anyone would cling to this territory but the guy looked at him with obvious concern. And well, after the morning's adventures, Jay didn't have any energy for another conflict at all. This kid looked pale and thin, so it didn't look like fighting with him would get him anything.

“Calm down, I'm just passing by. What's your problem, dude?”

“I live somewhere ne...here.”

Jason rolled his eyes. It's clear that the guy lived nearby, but it's unlikely that he had a house. The lack of a T-shirt and shoes hinted that in front of him was also a street rat who most likely had not yet learned how to defend his belongings. Poor guy. But this is definitely not Jason's business.

However, did he really spend the night outside in the open air? Sleeping on the bench was a last choice even for Jason. This might be acceptable options in some quiet provincial town, not in Gotham.

“I mean, what are you doing outside?”

Young Phantom checks his glamour, but finds no flaws in it. This man in front of him must be very knowledgeable and experienced, despite his young age, since he immediately recognized him as not a human being. For Danny, who lived with other fairies in Fairyland all his childhood and came to this dimension for the first time, the outside always meant the world of human. Fae shocked and upset that he was discovered so quickly. Haven't people almost forgotten about their existence? The elders would swear a lot if they found out that he had failed. The boy carefully orders the vine and clover to cover the circle of mushrooms, hiding the front door from the human. He was the only one of the entire brood entrusted by Undergrowth to start a practice in a city where there are almost no plants and sunlight, and faeling did not want to let down the mentor who took him under his wing at all.

The old Fairies claim that people are mean and narrow-minded, but Danny himself is intrigued by these creatures and therefore hopes that he will be able to come to an agreement with the boy and to continue his research without obstacles. Danny intends to take the exam for the right to be called an adult fae this decade, which means he has no right to make mistakes. But still, forcing a guy to dance until he drops dead from exhaustion or make him wander along the paths of this small green area without being able to find a way out, as he was taught to get rid of pests at home, seemed too cruel. This boy, just like him, is still a cub and he is here by accident, not to encroach on their possessions. They need not quarrel.

“Don't banish me. I'm just trying to learn.”

“To do what?”

“To steal.” Danny blushes, realizing that such honesty was unnecessary. Stupid, stupid...People know that faeries can take their names, thereby gaining power over them. Now this cub will definitely decide that he has come to cause harm and he will not be able to learn anything useful and interesting. Phantom quickly makes excuses. “Nothing important! I only borrowed trinkets and fruits.”

“You're new to this, aren't you?”

“Is it that noticeable?”

“Pretty noticeable, yes.”

The boy looked at him almost pityingly. And the Phantom didn't like it.

That's how the spirits and other fairies used to look at him when they found out he was only halfa. Because of this fact, his abilities were belittled and not taken seriously too often. What's wrong with that? He's dead just like everyone else, even if not completely.

And now he's screwed up, not even because of his nature, but because of his sluggishness. It was especially unpleasant, as it was deserved. He should have spent his time more productively, but the flowers bred with the help of humans were so interesting and talked about their longing for the sun with such sadness that fae did not dare to interrupt them.

Jason finished both of the stolen hot dogs and leaved the park. The guy still follow him and stares intently, almost without blinking.

“Stop it. What do you want?”

“I study. You seem experienced. “

“People don't really like being stared at like this, in case you didn't know. Back off.”

“Really?”

Jason was ready to be outraged that the kid thought he was an idiot but the tramp from the park looked really puzzled. It seems that if he ever had parents, they didn't care about the boy, since they didn't explain to him that atypical behavior could add him problems. The boy is lucky that Jay is an asshole only when absolutely necessary.

“You're weird. Try to keep your mouth shut near others.”

“Okay.”

Jason took a few minutes to think and sighed. Todd could not leave this strange child alone, because damn conscience would not allow it. He can't survive alone. He will either wander after some other person and become a victim of trafficking or he will be at the beck and call of some assholes in the late afternoon. Jason cursed his bleeding heart once more and promised himself that he would keep the boy by his side no longer than necessary. Jay couldn't afford to be responsible for another mouth to feed. Summer has already come to an end and it was worth starting to save a little money and store things in case of early cold weather.

“If I teach you some of my skills will you promise to stay away from the places where I…work?”

“Maybe. Is this a deal?”

“Yes, if you'll agree, idiot. “

Danny nods and his new acquaintance continues.

“First of all, we'll get you shoes and some clothes. I don't need you to pick up tetanus and some viral crap.”

Danny smiles a little, trying not to make it too noticeable. Great trick.

He nodded to indicate understanding rather than agreeing, and the boy did not ask for verbal confirmation. It seems that he is not completely hopeless at deceiving people. Phantom couldn't wait to tell Clockwork or Frostbite about his success.

They wound through streets and rooftops for a long time until they reached other man's temporary shelter, and Danny had to admit that the man's decision to borrow more clothes was very clever. Strange sharp things and narrow bags of biological fluid were found between the houses disgustingly often. The elders are right about something? Danny must admit. Some people are nasty. They didn't even clean the settlement they live in properly.

A foul-smelling device for carrying things flew into the face of fae while he thoughtfully followed the boy telling him something about removing so-called tires from the iron inanimate horses.

“Dude, stop fighting with a trash bag. You'll stand guard while I give the customer the goods, okay?”

“Fine.” To be honest, the intern was ready to cry from the injustice of life and rush home, and he was only stopped by the desire to visit the observatory, which his new acquaintance mentioned when fae complained that because of the smoke and smog the stars would probably not be visible at night.

Danny realized that he did not regret his decision when, a couple of minutes later, he heard his human quarreling with adult specimen. Judging by the conversation, the man refused to pay the price for the things brought to him and even threatened to hit Phantom's guide. Danny was annoyed by this and decided to intervene a little. To his good fortune, on the balcony of this vile man there was a pot with withering petunias and they did not mind helping lil fae teach their owner manners. A slight whiff of magic and the pot falls on the deceiver's head and human begins to choke on the roots that climb right into his mouth. Danny giggles, congratulating his green comrades on their successful revenge. Other boy doesn't waste any time and grabs the bucks that fell out of the customer's hands and orders new boy to run.

Danny spent several days with human cub and really learned a lot about these creatures. Despite the fact that such a pastime was exciting, he needed to at least create the illusion of practice the fae skills.

It is dangerous to ask a person who knows who he is about this but teachers will be upset if he does not make an attempt. And despite the fact that the people around him seem scary, Nocturn will be much scarier in anger if he finds out that Phantom is such a loser.

“Ma- Can I have your name?” Danny muttered uncertainly and immediately panicked at his own impudence. “Sorry!”

“Jason.”

Todd was in a good mood, as luck had been with him for the last few days, and the new companion was not at all as useless as it seemed to him from the beginning. He was able to hide so well that no one could detect them, and managed to bring fresh fruits, vegetables and mushrooms to their safe house. However, there were problems with the last one, since this strange dude sometimes brought toadstools and satan's boletes to their apartment, which he managed to get from unknown places. Jason thought he was going to have a heart attack the first time he caught child happily eating raw fly agaric. Indeed, if Jay hadn't found him this boy would probably have died of poisoning in that park by now. Todd had to persuade him to bring only chanterelles, which he could confidently identify as edible and not fear for their lives every time the boy tries to help find food. And his padawan really managed to find them. In Gotham. Holy shit. Maybe this park, so fiercely guarded by the boy, was another secret area for Poison Ivy's experiments? However, poisonous specimens will not be wasted either, since you never know when you will need to defend yourself without entering into a fight, but acting more subtly.

“Real name! Real one!” The boy's eyes were as big as saucers and he became very worried and waved his hands as if trying to shake off invisible sticky threads from his fingertips. “You shouldn't say your actual name! Why did you do that? You shouldn't have given it to me.”

“There are a lot of Jason's around. Why do you care about that?”

“You're not just some Jason, you're my Jason, you're important to me. It's dangerous if someone has your name. Then that someone can make you do bad things.”

Tears began pouring down boy's face and Jason was surprised by such a violent reaction. Todd doesn't think there's anything to worry about, since he didn't tell the stranger his last name. He often introduces himself in different ways. Just, for some reason, something made him be honest this time. But how would this guy know that?

“Well…You're not just anyone. We're friends. I don't think you're going to rat on me to the cops or anything. So it's okay. “ Jay tries to calm the newcomer down.

“Friends?”

“Yes. Friends forever?” Jason teasingly holds out his little finger, offering a childish oath that he recently taught his padawan.

“Forever.” The boy supports the oath, and then, after thinking for a second, leans closer to Todd and whispers. "I'm Danny, just so you know."

“Good. I'll remember.”

The young fae is overcome with euphoria. He took the name! He did it! But that was all the other boy had, apart from a rusty tire iron, so it probably wasn't right or friendly to keep it. The human cub helped him. Danny couldn't keep such a gift. He didn't even really try to get his name. “Jason is your name.”

“That's right, buddy.”

“I won't call you that name.” Where I come from, even spouses rarely know each other's names. Danny wanted to assure his friend that he should not be afraid that he would abuse his power. “ I like you so I will take full responsibility for the possession of such a gift, don't worry.”

“Hah, in order to take responsibility, you already need to at least marry me as a moral compensation, given the number of brain cells killed by your antics. “

“Well, if I have to, then I will. When we're older.”

Jason snorts and shakes his head. It's probably not love, since they're just kids, but still, Jason thinks that if all autumn evenings were like this, he wouldn't mind spending his life with Danny, snuggling closer to the boy while they both bask under the same blanket. No matter how many times a day they managed to roll in the mud and fall into the trash can, the boy always gave off a light scent reminiscent of spring greens, which reminded Todd of something warm and cozy. Maybe a home? Although when his father was not in prison yet, his house smelled more like the stench of cigarette smoke and mold. So Danny was more like a hope for a good home that they write about in books.

On their free evenings Jason usually entertained them by reading. Danny has always been an attentive listener, reacting vividly. After stroking the battered cover of a new book he found, Jason puts it aside. He's too tired today, and just wants to listen.

Noticing this, Danny begins to chirp about his homeland. His stories are like fairy tales, too bright and colorful for the stone Jungle. Jay realized a long time ago that his friend had something like a defense mechanism. Todd himself snapped and fought when the world was too cruel, this guy escaped to his fictional world, where he was safer and happier. His friend could have been a great writer someday. The descriptions of Princess Dorathea and her cruel brother, pharaoh with an unusual passion for technology and ultra-recyclo vegetarian queen of plants were so detailed and vivid that they seemed true. Danny's imagination contained the whole world.

When the first snowflakes fall to the ground, Danny says that this means that his friend Frostbite will soon come to pick him up. Jason is honestly not ready for such a turn of events. He promised himself that he would not be around another boy for longer than necessary, but he managed to get attached. He hopes that this statement is just another one of his companion's fantasies and forgets about it for a while.

A snowstorm is raging in the city when Danny does not return home. The snowfall does not stop for several days, and Todd realizes that his friend left him, although all his belongings are left in their apartment. He hopes that someone really came for the boy, and not that in the spring his body will be found in one of the melting snowdrifts. After a few months, when the canned homemade vegetables carefully cooked by Danny are coming to an end, and the mold, sitting alone in a corner of the ceiling all winter, felt the first the warm rays of the sun, Todd decides not to waste energy on useless worries and hopes.

Soon, as Danny would put it, Batman steals Jason. Todd doesn't really trust the old man at first, but he teaches him to be Robin, and, well, Robin is cool. He's magic. Robin is an urban legend, a spirit worthy of being the hero of Danny's favorite stories. Robin is Jason's connection not only to the city itself, but also to his past. Robin does not need to think about whether he should grieve not only for his mother but also for his friend. Robin is more. There is not only strength and hope in this uniform, but also memories, nostalgia and humanness. Therefore, Todd is not ready to give up the suit, even if he understands Grayson's displeasure. Because when he goes out on a patrol, the longing becomes less, and he feels that he is getting better and closer to something important. It helps.

No.

It helped.

And then he died.

And things are getting worse by the day, hah.

~~~A few hits with a crowbar later~~~

Jason learns about a new attempt of eco-terrorism relatively late, when he is officially called to help. Even so he stays at the place of the fight before the rest of the family. Firstly, because this time Ivy decided to start destruction from the closest to Crime Alley park, and secondly because Ivy's creations always pay little attention to him. Even the famous pollen has almost no effect on Hood.

Making his way through the furiously writhing vines, Red Hood notices the enemy and realizes that it is not Ivy, but decides that he will analyze the situation during the battle and rushes forward.

“Hey! Don't touch B, you.. “Almost flying into a guy with such a familiar face, the Hood slows down sharply “... pointy-eared.”

A guy with sparkling green energy in his hand and a vigilante with a pistols in each hand freeze looking at each other.

“Man, is it you?”

Snow-white hair, glowing green eyes, transparent dragonfly-like wings and razor-sharp claws are completely unfamiliar to Todd, but facial features, expressions and a bracelet with star pendants that Jay gave Danny for his birthday, adorning one of the impressive polished horns, allow to recognize him.

“Jay! It's been a long time, my friend.” Hearing Todd's voice, despite the sound changed by the helmet, the creature calms down. “You've grown up a lot.”

“And you're still so short. Wow. And, by the way, I can't believe you're still keep it.” Red puts the safety of the guns and then points one of them at the jewellery. “It's from a dollar store, nothing special.”

John says goodbye to the hope of a day off after the mission, cursing the manners of the bat and his offspring. Is a couple of days without the risk of interdimensional conflict really that too much to ask for?

“You gave it to me. That's why it's special.”

The creature smiles and Todd feels his face blushing. It's a good thing he's still wearing his helmet. Danny looks too…magical…in every sense.

“Do you know him, Hood?” Of course, Bat cannot stay out of the conversation when nothing is holds him back.

“No.”

“Yes.” Danny denies the statement of Hood, proudly puffs out his chest and declares. “He was my first. He calls himself Hood these days? How strange.”

Bat gasps and exhales indignantly.

Jason quickly connects the fact that his friend is definitely not human with the possibility that Danny's stories were true.

“Name!” Trying to fix the chaos that his friend is trying to involve them in, Red Hood hurries to explain. “He's talking about damn name. I'm the first one who gave...”

“Oh, come on, spoilsport. He almost believed me.” The fairy winks playfully and Jason has to do his best to focus on the mission and not on the guy. “You're my betrothed anyway. And, hey, I collected the library as a wedding gift.”

“Hm.” Hood rolls his eyes. This joke about their childhood promise would have been hilarious if he hadn't felt the old man's rising pressure behind his back. So, returning to the problem, he still needs to get these two away from each other as soon as possible. Neither Danny nor Bruce has a calm personality, and Jason didn't want to start Danny's acquaintance with Alfred by giving first aid to these dummies. “So what's all the fuss about? Are you like um.. Ivy's pet-pixie or what?”

Now John Constantine, who carefully watched the meeting from the sidelines, almost feels his blood pressure rising too. Compare faeries with garden pests. What was Batman's son thinking about, showing such disrespect? He wanted them to have more problems or what?

“Hm? Who is Ivy? I've never heard of her. To be honest, I'm only here because our gate was disturbed.” The fairy chirped angrily and, with a nervous flutter of his wings, flew up to the bushes. His finger pointed accusingly at the crushed mushrooms that John and Batsy had landed on when they unsuccessfully attacked Dr. Isley. “But even though your companions' behavior is inexcusable, I don't blame you, of course. I am glad that we met again because of this incident, Tagetes.”

The Faerie circle...John hadn't seen this in years. Damn Gotham. He difenetly doesn't want the problems of this crazy city to fall under his and Shazam's responsibility. Now it is clear why Rogue disappeared so quickly. She probably knew about it and wanted to make them someone else's problem. Damn it twice, John should have sent a message instead of coming to Gotham to discuss business with Wayne. Being uninvited guests of such mischievous and malicious hosts does not bode well.

“You are lucky that the Fright Knight is not on duty today. But someone will have to answer for it. Is it really so hard to look at your feet? Or is this a deliberate provocation? I demand an apology.”

“No, enough games for you. They're a little busy chasing someone, in case you didn't notice.” Jason starts pulling on his friend's hand, intending to take him out of the park. Next to these paranoids, it's better not to ask an old friend about anything. “Only good little fairies are invited to my safe house to taste my signature lasagna today, so stop trying to give my old man a heart attack, okay?”

“Wait. Is this Willis?” The fairy's eyes narrow and he looks at the cloaked dark figure with disapproval.

"No, another jerk. B has a problem with adoptions and that's the reason I'm now part of his brood." Jason reluctantly explains. "He literally dragged me off the streets without consent after I tried to take the tires off his car."

“Oh my Ancients, he did what?! But you're mine! He had no right to steal you.” Danny indignantly rustled the leaves of the closest trees.

“I prefer to be considered as my own man, thank you very much.”

“Riiight…but still, speaking absolutely one hundred percent theoretically, who would you rather stay with, darling? If only you were mine~”

“Ja-..Don't let yourself be fooled, Red Hood. You can't trust him. Ten or even fifty years spent on a prank don't mean anything to this creature.” Bruce doesn't look happy with how at ease Todd is with the threat, but frankly, he rarely looks happy at all, so the crime lord doesn't attach too much importance to it.

"Wow. Rude. This is partially true, but it still hurts. Jason is a friend. I won't do anything to him and I don't demand anything from him. I can't say that about the rest of you. I was preparing for a long-awaited vacation, and because of your fuss I have a new bunch of paperwork to do. What can you say in your defense?"

The boy with the snow-white hair didn't look really upset, but just because there was still a smile on his face, it couldn't be said that he wasn't furious. Next to fairies, all human senses became enemies, not allies.

Despite the deceptive good-naturedness of merrily fluttering his wings guy, John was on high alert. Short-tempered, playful and obnoxious temperament were both a blessing and a curse when working with these creatures. Fairies skillfully searched for loopholes in contracts and in general were the best deceivers among those who could only tell the truth. Faeries prefer to bend victims to their will with words, but they are skilled users of the magic of nature and chaos. They also, despite the business acumen as strong as the alligator's mouth closing strength, were willing to play cat-and-mouse with those who dared to turn to him for help or just walk near their possessions. And this specimen was also clearly not one of the fairies that Morningstar had taken over control, since his energy reeked of Infinite Realms. Unknown territory. John urgently needs to come up with some ingenious plan to get everyone out of this fighting safe and relatively unscathed and…

“Fuck off, B. I told you he already has my name. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have done it at any time. You should show more respect for your future son-in-law, you know.”

“Jason, honey, since when do street rats hang out with bats?” Danny obviously didn't have much sympathy for the Gotham vigilante before, but because of his story, their chances of getting along tended to zero.

“Oh, come on, don't even start this conversation. What is more important…Who would I rather stay with? Hm…Let's say, um, theoretically, of course…If your fiance was killed by one very very bad cruel clown, what would you do, Stardust?

"I would tear clown molecule by molecule."

“Yes, yes! Right!” Jason pats Danny on the shoulder and turns to Batman. “See, that's how you should have reacted.”

Constantine: …What an Addams family. I'm leaving. I've already seen enough. If you get kidnapped, don't call me. Damn freaks.

Come with me now to see my world

Where there's beauty beyond your dreams

Strangers Like Me - Phil Collins

#dpxdc prompt #dpxdc #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc memes #dead on main ship #dead on main #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc fanfic #dp x dc fic

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comradekatara · 2 months

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Your atla analysis is the best so I wanted to ask your opinion on something I've found the fandom fairly divided on - what did you think of Azula's ending within the show proper? Unnecessarily cruel or a necessary tragedy? Would you say that her mental breakdown was too conveniently brought about in order to 'nerf' her for the final agni kai? Also, do you think it was 'right' for Zuko to have fought with his sister at all or would it have been better for him to seek a more humane way to end the cycle of violence?

okay so im saying this as someone who loves azula to death like she has always been one of my absolute favorite characters ever since i was a kid and i’ve always vastly preferred her to zuko and found her to be extremely compelling and eminently sympathetic. i am saying this now before the azula stans come for me. i believe in their beliefs. but i also think her downfall is perfectly executed, and putting aside all the bullshit with the comics and whatever else, it’s a really powerful conclusion to her arc. obviously that isn’t to say that she wouldn’t continue to grow and develop in a postcanon scenario (i have a whole recovery arc for her mapped out in my head, like i do believe in her Healing Journey) but from a narrative perspective, her telos is in fact very thematically satisfying.

no, she wasn’t nerfed so that they could beat her in a fight. the fact that she falls apart is what makes them feel that they can confidently take her on (although i do think in a fair fight katara could win anyway), but the whole point is that it’s not about winning or losing in combat. the whole point is that zuko and azula being pitted against each other in this gratuitous ritual of violence as the culmination of their arcs is fundamentally tragic. yes it’s a bad decision to fight her, and zuko should have chosen another path, but the whole point is that he’s flawed and can only subscribe to the logic he has spent his whole life internalizing through violence and abuse.

that’s why aang’s fight against ozai, while tragic in its own way, is also a triumph for the way in which his ideals prevail in the face of genocide, while zuko and azula’s fight is very patently tragic. there is no moment of victory or triumph. even as zuko sacrifices himself in a beautiful mirroring of “the crossroads of destiny” and as katara uses the element of her people combined with techniques across other cultures to use azula’s hubris and ideology of domination against her, it’s presented as moments of personal growth occurring within a very tragic yet inevitable situation. it was inevitable because azula had always been positioned as an extension of her father, and thus to disempower ozai also means disempowering azula, his favorite site of projection, his favorite weapon.

yeah, it does rub me the wrong way when zuko asks katara whether she’d like to help him “put azula in her place.” it’s not a kind way to talk about your abused younger sister. but it’s also important to understand that zuko doesn’t really recognize his sister’s pain, despite the fact that they obviously share a father, because he’s always assumed that she was untouchable as their perfect golden child and thus never a victim. and he’s wrong. zuko and katara expect a battle of triumph and glory, noble heroes fighting valiantly so that good may prevail over evil. but as they discover here, even more so than their previous discovery two episodes prior, a battle is not a legendary event filled with bombast and beauty until after it has been historicized. often a war is simply fought between pathetic, desperate people who see no other option but to fight.

aang’s ultimate refusal to fight despite having all the power in the world is what makes him so important as the protagonist. but katara and zuko both share a more simplistic view of morality and what it means to be good. and zuko assumes that by fighting azula, he can only be punching up, because she has always been positioned as his superior, and she (in her own words!) is a “monster.” and then azula loses, and his entire worldview shatters. joking about putting her in her place makes way for the realization that behind all her posturing and lying (to herself more than anyone) and performance and cognitive dissonance, azula has always been broken, perhaps even more than he is.

azula says “im sorry it has to end this way, brother,” to which zuko replies “no you’re not.” but i think azula is truly sorry, because in her ideal world, she wouldn’t be fighting zuko. she doesn’t actually want to kill him, as much as she claims to. she’s already reached the conclusion that zuko will only truly reach once their fight is over. she lacks a support system, and she needs one, desperately. if she could somehow get her family back, do everything differently, less afraid of the consequences, she would. she’s smirking, she sounds almost facetious, but really, she is sorry. as of this moment, she really doesn’t want it to end this way. but zuko cannot accept that, because in his mind, azula is evil. azula has no soul nor feeling. azula always lies.

her breakdown doesn’t come out of nowhere, either. it’s precipitated by everyone she has ever cared about betraying her. first zuko betrays her, then mai, then ty lee, and then ozai — the person she has staked her entire identity to and to whom she has pledged her undying loyalty and obedience, become nothing more than a vessel for his whims — discards her because she had the audacity to care about someone other than him. what i don’t think zuko realizes, and perhaps will never realize, is that azula betrayed ozai by bringing zuko back home. he was not supposed to be brought back with honor and with glory. azula specifically orchestrated the fight in the catacombs to motivate him to join her, and it’s not because she’s some cruel sadistic monster who wanted to separate a poor innocent soft uwu bean from his loving uncle, it’s because she genuinely believes that she’s doing what’s best for him. she believes that their uncle is a traitor and a bad influence, and she believes that bringing zuko home with his honor “restored” is an act of love. to her it is.

yes, she claims that she was actually just manipulating him so that she wouldn’t have to take the fall if the avatar was actually alive, but also, she’s clearly just covering her own ass. she didn’t know about the spirit water, and only started improvising when zuko started showing hesitation. but even if she was only using zuko, then that was an insane risk to take, because either way she was lying directly to ozai’s face. and zuko admits it to ozai while simultaneously committing treason, so of course ozai would blame azula, his perfect golden child who tried to violate his decree by bringing zuko back home a prisoner at best and dead at worst, and instead found a way to restore his princehood with glory.

we only see ozai dismissing and discarding azula in the finale, but it’s clearly a tension that’s been bubbling since the day of black sun. and we know this because we do see azula falling apart before the finale. in “the boiling rock” she is betrayed by her only friends. in “the southern raiders” we see that this has taken a toll on her, that she is already somewhat unhinged. she and zuko tie in a one on one fight for the first time. and she takes down her hair as she uses her hairpin to secure herself against the edge of a cliff. unlike zuko, who is helped by his friends and allies, who has a support system. it’s a very precarious position; she’s literally on a cliff’s edge, alone, her hair down signifying her unraveling mental state. azula having her hair down signals to us an audience that she is in a position of vulnerability. she is able to mask this terrifying moment wherein she nearly plummets to her death with a triumphant smirk, but it should be evident to us all that her security is fragile here.

and the thing is, even though she’s always masked it with a smirk and perfect poise, her security has always been fragile. azula has never been safe. azula’s breakdown is simply the culmination of her realization that no matter how hard she tries, she will never be ozai’s perfect weapon, because she is a human being. she is a child, no less. and there is no one in her entire life who loves her for nothing. zuko has iroh, who affirms to him that he could never be angry with zuko, that all he wants is simply what is best for zuko. but azula doesn’t have unconditional support in her life. she doesn’t even have support.

everyone she ever thought she could trust has betrayed her, and so she yells that trust is for fools. because she feels like a fool. of course fear is the only way; it’s what kept her in line all these years. azula is someone who is ruled by fear, and who is broken by the recognition that fear isn’t enough. her downfall is necessarily tragic because her worldview is wrong. the imperialist logic of terror as a tool for domination is her own undoing, just as ozai’s undoing is losing the weapon he has staked his national identity to. it’s a battle of ideals. aang v ozai: pacifism v imperialism. katara and zuko v azula: love and support v fear and isolation.

zuko is unfair to azula, it’s true. he tries to fight her even as he can clearly recognize that “she’s slipping.” instead of trying to help his little sister, he uses that weakness to his advantage, tries to exploit her pain so that he can finally, for the first time ever, beat her in a fight. it’s cruel, but it’s also how siblings act. especially considering the conditions under which they were raised, and how zuko has always viewed her. and in zuko’s defense, she has tried to kill him multiple times lately, both in “the boiling rock” and in “the southern raiders.” zuko is someone who gets fixated on a goal and blocks out everything else, including recognition of his surroundings or empathy for others. so of course when he’s promised to put azula in her place he’s going to exploit her weaknesses to do so. after all, isn’t exploiting his weaknesses exactly what azula does best? so he allows himself to stoop to her level, and in fact only redeems himself through his sacrifice for katara. but it is when azula is chained to the grate and zuko and katara, leaning on each other, look down and observe the sheer extent on her pain, that zuko realizes that “putting azula in her place” isn’t actually a victory. it feels really, really bad, actually.

they’re in a similar position as they were when they faced yon rha. and now it is zuko’s turn to understand that he is not a storybook hero triumphing over evil, but rather a human being, facing another human being, in a conflict that is larger than themselves. to “put someone in their place” is to imply a logic of domination, of inherent superiority, that someone has stepped out of line and must be reordered neatly into the hierarchy. but aang disputes the notion, ozai’s notion, that humanity can be classified along these lines, that there exists an ontological superiority among some and not others. so operation: putting azula in her place was always going to be flawed, even if she was performing competency the way she always does, because they’re nonetheless subscribing to her logic.

of course they should be helping azula, of course they should be reaching out to abuse victims through support instead of more violence. but first they must recognize her victimhood. first they must come to understand that they didn’t get lucky, and they didn’t dominate her because they are more “powerful,” that they weren’t “putting her in her place.” they must understand that they are not heroes fighting villains in a glorious trial by combat. that the logic of the agni kai is flawed. that they are all victims. that they are all just scared, hurt children who are still grieving their mothers.

#update: ok i readmored it 👍🏼#azula #analysis #zuko #katara #ozai #azula&zuko #azula&ozai #asks #malatilata #ugh azula is such a beautiful character….. i love her sm #her arc is so beautifully perfectly tragic #just thinking abt the mirror scene gets me sooo . distraught #this was supposed to be like 2 paragraphs lol #as is always the way . with me..

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deconstructthesoup · 2 months

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Personal Ranking of the Fantasy High Moms, From Worst to Best:

Arianwen Abernant: -19999/10. She's not as bad as Angwyn, since she's convinced herself she's a good mother, but her "I just want the best for you" shtick isn't any better, and the fact that she's ignorant about how horrible she is doesn't make up for years of neglect. And she also attempted to rope her daughters into raising a being of pure nightmares because she lost her status, so.

Donna Applebees: 0/10. Conservative, racist, judgmental, only loves her kids conditionally... you get the gist. Also, she's absolutely a Karen.

Hallariel Seacaster: 3/10. Yes, I know, she's a MILF, she's got such an iconic vibe, she's a badass with a sword, but none of that excuses years of being emotionally absent from your son's life. She's not a bad person, but she unfortunately doesn't know how to be a mom. Sorry, Hallariel. I wish I could rank you higher.

The Last Phoenix: 5/10. Bird. She's a bird. We don't know enough about her except for the fact that she is the last phoenix, she started out as a "haha Arthur Aguefort is a crazy motherfucker" gag, and she gave us the incredible gift that is Ayda. I cannot rank her fairly, but given that she is Ayda's mom, she goes on the list.

Roz Last-Name-Unknown: 6/10. Same deal with Gorbag---we don't know enough about her for me to properly rank her, but we do know that she was a teen mom, and she's made the choice to reconnect with her son and be in his life. Props for that.

Sandralynn Faeth: 7.5/10. I am ranking her realistically, but let it be known that I love her so much. She is such a beautiful example of a flawed person who consistently tries to be better, and even though she does relapse into old behaviors, she's still growing---and outside of the serial cheating (that is a response to trauma, by the way) and occasional lapses in social skills, she's a pretty damn good mom, all things considered.

Cathilda Ceili: 8/10. She's the parent that Fabian needed, even if he didn't always realize it. She's sweet, she's caring, and if anybody hurts her boy, she will fucking rock your shit. (Also, the reveal of Cathilda being an incredibly fearsome and ruthless pirate outside of Solace was one of my favorites.)

Wilma Thistlespring: 9/10. She's a caring and supportive mom who writes songs, is sex-positive, and loves her son! Again, she does need to recognize when she's embarrassing Gorgug, and she needs to recognize that he's gotta learn how to be angry, but still! We all love her!

Lydia Barkrock: 9.6/10. While she doesn't quite get the full score due to the fact that her son was briefly an ass, it clearly was not her fault, and from what we've seen of her, she is a fantastic mom. She's a badass disabled powerhouse who cooks incredible spreads and cares about her son and his friends a lot. I love her a lot. She's amazing.

Sklonda Gukgak: 10/10. She took that spot in her very first scene, where she poured water in her cereal so Riz could have milk in his, and she's been holding it up ever since. Despite the fact that she's constantly swamped with work, Sklonda is literally one of the best moms you could ever ask for. She deserves the world and it's a constant injustice that she's not getting it.

Bonus: Garthy O'Brien, while having transcended gender and therefore not being able to fit into either of the "mom/dad" rankings, is an 11/10 parent---not just to Ayda, but to everyone younger than them who they've essentially adopted. Words cannot express my adoration for this person.

#honestly if all of the bad kids had siblings i'd do a sibling ranking #i mean i guess fabian technically has a gazillion siblings out there but they're all dead or something #ah well #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high: junior year #arianwen abernant #donna applebees #hallariel seacaster #sandra lynn faeth #cathilda ceili #wilma thistlespring #lydia barkrock #sklonda gukgak #garthy obrien

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storiesforallfandoms · 10 months

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herogasm ~ soldier boy;the boys

word count: 3678

request?: no

description: in which she’s trying to leave the supe orgy, just to stumble into the room of the man who started it

pairing: soldier boy x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (fingering, praise, unprotected p in v), mentions of herogasm (the event, not the episode)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I didn’t want to be there. There was a number of reasons why, but the most prominent one was definitely that I did not want to be involved in an orgy full of Supes.

My best friend, Maria, had convinced me to come. I had gone through a pretty hard breakup that left me basically inconsolable for days. I only left the house to go to work, and even then I was very much just operating on autopilot. Maria wanted to get me out of the house, so she came over and told me she had gotten an invite to some big Supe party and intended to take me with her to get my mind off of things.

She didn’t tell me until we showed up that the “party” was the infamous Supe orgy known as “Herogasm”.

Apparently, Maria had hooked up with a Supe who had an in to the party. She got the invite and thought an orgy would be the perfect idea to get me over my breakup. There was just one little flaw in her plan: I was not an orgy person. I was insecure enough about my body that I felt awkward being naked in front of one person, let alone an entire house full of strangers. Supe strangers at that.

Maria abandoned me the minute we walked through the door, taken by the Supe she fucked to get here. I was left, on my own in the corner, while a lot of naked people walked or fucked around me. A couple glanced in my direction, one even tried to proposition me, which I politely declined. I wasn’t sure how long I was stood there before everything became overwhelming. I needed to get away from all those people. I needed to be somewhere with no moaning or screaming or sex noises. Somewhere that I could calm myself down before I left.

I stumbled through the house, feeling my heart pounding harder and harder with every overwhelming second that passed. Behind almost every door I could hear more moaning and squelching. It felt like there was no true escape from it - there was even people fucking outside - until I turned the knob on a door that led to a seemingly empty room. I stumbled in, slamming the door behind me and sliding down it until I was sat on the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head against my knees.

“Well, hello there.”

I jumped at the sudden sound of someone’s voice. I looked up to see I had hidden myself away in a bedroom. The main bedroom, I concluded, judging by the huge size of the room, the bed, and the fact there was a mini bar in the corner of the room. A mini bar with a man stood behind it. A very handsome man in nothing but a silk robe.

“Shit,” I sighed. “I’m sorry, I - ”

“No, don’t be sorry,” he said. “Judging by the fact that you still have clothes on, you’re not here for the orgy.”

I shook my head. “One of my friends brought me here. She didn’t even tell me what it was until we pulled up.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment before stepping away from the mini bar. I tensed up as he got closer to me. I was trying to figure out if I’d get out fast enough when he reached me. He reached over me and turned the lock on the knob.

“Stay as long ad you want,” he told me. “Not that anyone usually comes in unannounced anyways. I think you’re the first person to stumble into my room in years.”

My eyes widened as he started walking away. “Y-Your room? So...you’re the host here?”

He turned back and raised an eyebrow at me. “You serious?” I nodded. “I created this whole fuckin’ thing. Herogasm is my baby.”

That’s when it finally clicked. “Holy shit, you’re Soldier Boy!”

He grinned at me before he took a sip of his drink.

I couldn’t believe it. I had stumbled into the room of the most famous Supe in the entire world and I didn’t even recognize him at first! God, this couldn’t get any more embarrassing.

“You don’t have to huddle up by the door like a scared kid,” he said. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I wasn’t sure if I could take his word for it. I knew he was a Supe and all, and Supes were supposed to protect people, but he did have me locked in his room, while he was naked no less. Well, besides a robe. I’d be helpless against him if he did decide he wanted to hurt me.

Despite knowing this, I still slowly got to my feet. He was pouring up another glass as I walked further into his giant room. It was like the size of my living room and kitchen combined. I was in awe of it so much that I could hear Soldier Boy chuckling to himself. He extended a glass to me and gestured to the bed. I took the glass, hesitantly, and sat down.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Bourbon,” he responded. “Some of the best shit money can buy.”

I wasn’t much of a drinker. I could smell the strong, alcoholic scent before even raising the glass to my lips. I took a small sip and immediately cringed at the stinging feeling that ran down my throat. Soldier Boy laughed.

“That’s God awful,” I groaned.

“You just don’t appreciate fine alcohol,” he said.

“I appreciate it when it doesn’t taste like battery acid,” I retorted. “What are you doing in here, anyways? If you created this...thing, shouldn’t you be partaking?”

He grunted and took another mouthful of his own drink. I figured that was the best I would be getting from him.

“How did you get in?” he asked. “It’s invite only, and usually the only non-Supes invited are hookers.”

I looked down at my glass again, debating on taking another sip. “My friend hooked up with a Supe who gave her the invite. She lied at the door and told them I had been invited, too.”

“Then she ditched you?”

I nodded. “Probably getting her pussy super-stretched as we speak.”

That made him laugh. I felt some sense of pride at that. The most famous Supe in the world was laughing at my jokes. That had to be bragging rights.

“Sounds like a shit friend, then,” he commented.

“No, she is a good friend. She’s very...sexually liberated. This type of thing is very up her alley. Me, not so much.”

“Then why did she take you here?”

I gazed down at the glass of auburn liquid. The memory of my recent breakup brought back all my negative emotions. With one swift gulp, I finished the contents of the glass. I shuddered as it burned down my throat.

“My boyfriend of four years dumped me,” I said. “Just woke up one day and told me he didn’t feel the same way anymore. After we had just moved in together a few months prior.”

Soldier Boy whistled. “That sounds rough.”

“It was the worst fucking day of my life,” I muttered. “Maria, my friend, I guess she thought a super-sex party would be the best way to get me to move on. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and all that.”

“That never works. Trust me.”

Oh, there was a story there. I could tell. One that was probably connected to the reason he wasn’t participating in his own orgy. Normally, I wouldn’t pry. I didn’t know Soldier Boy. He would probably forget all about me once I left his room. But the bourbon was starting to get to me. I found myself leaning forward, close enough that I could smell his aftershave.

“What happened?” I asked him. “What made you not want to participate in Herogasm?”

He looked at me. I could tell he was debating on telling me. I wasn’t sure if I should push the issue further than those questions, even if my curiosity was getting the best of me.

Finally, he sighed and said, “My girl left me because of one of these things.”

Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. I couldn’t even remember who Soldier Boy’s “girl” was in that moment.

“We used to host together,” he explained. “Once a year, we would allow each other to fuck whoever we wanted at Herogasm. One night, one meaningless orgy, and that was it. Then, a few years back, she comes to me the day after Herogasm and she tells me that she met someone that night. I don’t know, I guess they talked in between the fucking or some shit. She dumped me on the spot for the guy. Took all of her shit and left that same day.”

Okay, definitely a lot worse than my sob story. My ex completely shattered my heart, sure, but he didn’t leave me for someone else. Especially not someone that he fucked in our own house, during a party that we were hosting together. Even if they had an agreement that they could sleep around during Herogasm, that was a huge hit to trust. One that I don’t think I would’ve ever gotten over in his shoes.

“Since then, I haven’t participated,” he continued. “I’ll host, since it’s my creation, but I usually just walk around, make sure everything is going okay and everyone is having a good time, then I hide away in here until everyone gets too tired from the fucking and either leaves or falls asleep.”

“Why keep hosting it if you don’t want to participate anymore?” I asked. “Why not hand it off to someone else?”

“Because it’s my thing. I created it, and it got bigger than I could’ve ever imagined. I thought about cancelling it after Countess left me, but it’s become this huge thing to Supes and their groupies. I don’t want to disappoint anyone by cancelling it, and I wouldn’t want anyone else stealing it from me and making it a shit version of what it used to be.”

Before I could respond, there was a bang against his door. We both jumped and turned towards the door. Judging by the rhythmic beating on the door and the shouts of pleasure, it was just a couple that had decided to use Soldier Boy’s door as another fuck place. I chuckled and turned back to him. My laughter died out, though, once I realized how close we had gotten to one another. My face was mere inches away from his. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. The closeness made my heart start pounding a little harder.

The alcohol had definitely kicked in because I did something that was very unlike me in that moment: I leaned forward and kissed him.

He was receptive right away. His free hand moved to hold the back of my head. His lips moved perfectly in time with mine. His tongue slid against my lower lip, asking permission for entrance, and I gave it to him. I let my empty glass fall to the floor, luckily the fall being cushioned by a rug next to his bed, while he placed his on the nightstand next to the bed without breaking our kiss. In one swift movement, he moved me so that I was straddling his lap, not once breaking our kiss.

His hands explored my body, running down the sides of my torso, to my hips, then over my ass. He grabbed the meaty flesh there, rocking my hips forward unintentionally (or maybe it was intentional) against him. His cock was growing hard and I could feel that the tip was starting to peak out from his robe. Suddenly, I felt very overdressed compared to him, and I wanted to change that.

I broke away and Soldier Boy watched with lust filled eye as I pulled my shirt over my head and discarded it onto the floor. I stood from his lap to unbutton my jeans and let them fall to the floor. I stepped out of them and stood in front of him, just in my lingerie. Realizing how naked I was, I felt a little shy suddenly. Like I wanted to cover myself up or make all the light in the room disappear so that he couldn’t see me. But when he pulled me forward again, standing me between his open legs, and leaned forward to start kissing over the exposed skin of my stomach, the insecurities melted away into desire again.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. “Don’t you dare think of hiding this beautiful body away from me.”

I was shocked that he knew what I was thinking, but I didn’t have time to figure out how he knew. His hands were on me again, pulling me down onto his lap and then quickly turning the two of us so that I was laying beneath him on the bed. I could feel him pressing against my inner thigh as he kissed me again, a pool of wetness starting to fill in my panties.

He moved one hand between my legs, opening them up for him, and ran his finger over the clothed material. I gasped and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth again.

“You’re already so wet,” he noted. “How long has it been since you were touched?”

The answer was a bit embarrassing. That probably should’ve been the first sign that my relationship was going downhill, but I was too naïve to notice that we hadn’t been having sex. Or maybe just too blind to the downfalls of my relationship.

When I didn’t answer, he pulled my panties to the side and slid a finger into me. The sudden protruding felt painful at first. I dug my nails into his arms hard, but didn’t leave any marks or didn’t seem to hurt him in any way. He slowly started thrusting his finger in an out of me until the pain turned to pleasure, and then he added a second finger.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he commented. “That asshole must not have stretched this pussy out in a long time. Either that, or he had a microdick.”

His fingers gained speed. I could hear them becoming wetter and wetter every time he thrusted them inwards. I was well beyond cloud nine, probably cloud twenty at this rate. Whenever I opened my eyes all I could see was stars, and Soldier Boy’s face watching me as I came undone beneath him. He was an expert in ways I could only dream of, reaching places I didn’t even know could feel so good. He had me on the edge of my orgasm, when suddenly the pleasure was ripped away as he pulled his fingers from me.

I whined, trying to reach for him to get the feeling back. But he pulled away from me, putting the two fingers covered in my slick into his mouth and sucking them dry.

“You taste just as sweet as I thought you would,” he said.

“Please,” was all I could manage. It almost sounded pathetic how desperate I sounded.

He smirked down at me. “I’ll give you what you want. I just want you to cum on my dick instead of on my fingers.”

He sat up and untied his robe, throwing it to the floor along with the other discarded clothes. His cock finally sprang free, standing at attention against his stomach. My eyes widened at how big he was. I should’ve anticipated it, I figured most Supe men were probably well hung, but it a shock none the less. I wondered if I would even be able to take his whole length.

He spit on his hand to lube himself up, moved my panties to the side again, and then lined his tip up with my entrance.

“Ready?” he asked. I nodded and he began to push into me.

My gasps and moans filled the room as he slowly slid into me, inch by inch, almost at a painfully slow rate. I felt so full with him completely inside of me. I could feel the burn of him stretching me out around his girth, but even the burn felt like pleasure. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him back down to me. I kissed him again, hungrily, desperately, and he got my silent message to start moving.

His thrusts were slow at first, testing the waters. It felt so good to feel him pushing in and out of me. His dick was so long that I could feel it not only poking my g-spot, but absolutely abusing it with every thrust. It sent shockwaves of pleasure through me that I wasn’t even sure I had felt before. My head fell back onto the pillow, letting moans tumble from my lips as they felt the need to.

“F-Fuck,” I breathed. “S-Soldier Boy.”

“Ben,” he said, not breaking his pace. “Call me Ben.”

“Ben,” I moaned instead. Definitely a better name to say in bed. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Yeah? I think I can tell.”

I didn’t have to open my eyes to know he had a cocky smirk on his face.

I ran my hands from his shoulders down his toned back to his ass. I gave it a squeeze, urging him to go faster. I could feel my high coming back, and I desperately needed to chase it. He did as I wanted and his thrusts became faster, rougher. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, along with my moans and his grunts. He took hold of my legs and wrapped them around his waist, giving himself a better vantage point for his rough thrusts. I screamed out as his dick pounded against my g-spot, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

“I can feel you’re close,” he said. “I can feel this fucking pussy getting tighter. Cum all over my cock. You can do it, beautiful, I know you can.”

His words of praise and encouragement sent me toppling over the edge. Stars exploded from my vision as my body trembled and convulsed around him. It was the hardest I could ever remember orgasming in my life, and it was definitely the best orgasm I could remember having. I felt like I was flying off of the bed and high into the sky, never to return to Earth again.

If it weren’t for Ben above me, still thrusting and whispering words of praise into my ear, I probably would’ve thought I had actually floated away.

His release came shortly after my own. I could feel his dick twitching inside of me before he was coating my walls. His arms tightened around me as he rode out his own orgasm, grinding into me until he has squeezed every last drop into me. He pushed himself up so he could look down at me again.

“You look fucking gorgeous after being filled with my cum,” he commented.

I felt myself grow hot at the compliment, but my body felt too heavy to cover myself.

“Are you...are you on the pill or anything?” he asked. “I probably should’ve thought of that before, but I was kind of...busy. I can get you a plan b. We have plenty of those lying around for this day.”

I lazily shook my head. “I’m good. I’ve been on birth control since I was a teenager. Besides, I don’t think Supes can reproduce, can they?”

“We’ve been unsuccessful in that field thus far. Thank God.”

I started to chuckle, but it turned to a gasp as I felt him pulling his soft cock out of me. Even when it was soft, it was big. I could hardly believe all of that fit inside of me.

He took hold of my panties and pulled them down my legs, gazing at the mess he had left between them.

“That’s a fucking beautiful sight,” he commented. I rolled my eyes and tried to close my legs, but he quickly held them open. “No, let me see this for another little bit at least.”

“You’re fucking weird.”

“You just fucked me, what does that say about you?”

He eventually climbed back into his bed next to me. I could still hear the orgy raging on outside of the door. I chuckled to myself, causing Ben to look over at me and arch an eyebrow.

“I fucked a Supe at the Supe orgy,” I explained. “But just one Supe, and it was the guy who created the whole fucking thing. I was planning on leaving when I stumbled into your room.”

“Well, thank God you didn’t.”

He put an arm around me and pulled me into his chest.

“Maybe getting under someone does help you get over someone,” I said. “I don’t even remember my ex’s name now.”

His chest vibrated as he laughed. “That is a good thing. If you find yourself remembering, though, you know where I live. You can always come over and I’ll help you forget again.”

I looked up at him. “Really? This wasn’t a one time thing?”

“I don’t intend for it to be. Did you?” I shook my head. “Okay, good. Since we’re on the same page, my offer still stands. Although, the offer actually extends to any time you want to come over, for any reason. Not just for some rebound sex.”

“That’s a dangerous offer. In a house this big, a bed this big, I might never want to leave. I might just live in this bed, honestly.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

We both laughed as he pulled me in to kiss my forehead. I made a mental note to thank Maria for dragging me to the super-fuck party when I finally found her again. Turns out, it wasn’t such a bad time after all.

#soldier boy #soldier boy imagine #soldier boy smut #soldier boy x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles x reader #the boys #the boys imagine #imagine #one shot #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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hausofneptune · 5 months

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"sweet" takes / aspects and placements that deserve more love!

[astro notes no. 004]

since i did that “spicy” takes post i wanted to also make a post in defense of the negative takes i hear about certain signs/placements and showing some love to the ones that i feel like don't get as much appreciation as they deserve! hope y'all enjoy! ♡

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

[content warning: abuse, addiction, self-harm/suicide. nothing detailed or explicit, just a warning for those who want to avoid these topics.]

aquarius placements are not unemotional sociopaths and honestly this is such a goofy ass take. aquarius’ archetype literally centers around their need to advance society and wanting to help those around them as a means to do so. can their saturnian influence make them come off as cold in their approach sometimes? sure. but the whole “aquarius doesn’t have emotions and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings” doesn’t make any type of sense considering the fact that aquarius craves connection with others in order to feel fulfilled

speaking of saturnian influence, y’all need to check up on your saturnian friends, especially if you’re below the age of 30. people tend to bring up how destructive and chaotic pluto is and the effect it can have on you if it’s tightly aspecting your personal planets, but i feel like people overlook the way that saturnian energy literally starts chipping away at you the moment you pop out the coochie. a lot of saturnians will consciously put too much on their plate because they don’t know how to function without overworking themselves, or, they’re distracting themselves from heavy emotions that they don’t want to feel. the idea of being alone with their thoughts is the most terrifying thing to them, and they would definitely benefit from having people around them that can slow them down and help them relax

to any parents (or people who work with children), please be gentle with your water sign babies. especially the scorpios and pisces. i feel like we don’t give children enough credit for how intelligent they actually are, and when it comes to water sign children i promise you, they know exactly what the fuck is going on. they know that you’re stressed out, they can recognize the energy in the room, and they’re internalizing all of your emotions and can be more prone to feeling overstimulated because of it. be patient with them, and as a former water sign baby myself, give them a hug for me <3

and since we’re giving out hugs, i gotta give a virtual one to my pisces and virgo placements. pisces and virgo are both signs of service, and typically opt to suffer in silence for the sake of those around them. i feel like pisces is the “worst” of the two, as pisces struggles with boundaries, and even when we’re being mistreated or abused by others we can literally convince ourselves that that’s actually not the case and that everything’s fine. pisces is also the only water sign that doesn’t have “armor” (cancer [the crab] has its shell, and scorpio [the scorpion] has its exoskeleton, claws, and stinger), which results in us getting hurt a lot. it’s typically why some pisces placements are prone to escapist tendencies, addiction, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. but pisces is the oldest of the zodiac, and there’s so much wisdom and spiritual knowledge that we unlock once we grow and evolve enough to “swim away” from the shit that doesn’t serve us

and i bring this up because i feel like pisces is constantly coded as “delusional” or “hyper-emotional”, and i know y’all love pointing out how “judgemental” and “nitpicky” virgo is. and while those stereotypes can be true depending on the person, i feel like the amount of energy pisces and virgo put into helping other people is constantly overshadowed by whatever “flaws” they may have. there was a tweet i read that said “maybe the final stage in your healing journey is finally telling people to fuck off”, that’s very much so the advice i’d give to pisces and virgo. your worth is not intrinsically linked to how much pain you can withstand or how much abuse you can tolerate from people who claim to love you. you deserve so much more and i promise there’s something bigger and better waiting for you on the other side of what it is that you’re currently settling for

i feel like the importance of 12H, neptune, water sign placements can often get overlooked in comparison to more practical, “realistic” planetary/sign placements. it’s definitely important to have balanced, grounded energy in your chart alongside these types of placements, but i feel like people underestimate how powerful it is to have spiritual and creative placements as well. and while these can be difficult aspects to master, i feel like once you do get to a point where you’ve done the work it can not only make you an incredible artist, but an extremely compassionate, empathetic healer. people with these placements tend to go through a lot, and experience an insane amount of turmoil. but no matter how tired you are, and no matter how misunderstood or lost you may feel, you’re here to serve a greater purpose and your craft is sacred. you have tools at your disposal that it takes people years upon years to develop, and it’s not something that should be taken for granted

i'll most likely end up doing a part two to this, but that's all i've got for now. as always, if anyone has any of the placements/aspects mentioned in this post i'd love to hear how they manifest in your life, and if you have any input in general feel free to let me know!

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dcvina-claires · 7 months

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i talked a bit about this with my friend who watched ofmd but i feel like i need to say it on here too. izzy wasn’t the only disability rep on the show. i’ve seen people complain that they killed off the only disabled character and if they do realize that other characters are disabled, they say it doesn’t matter because “it wasn’t as serious as izzy” and like… that’s the whole point. that’s what makes it good. spanish jackie is easily one of the most powerful characters on the show. she has like 20 husbands. she’s universally feared and she does all this with a missing hand. and then there’s ed. i’ve seen a lot of people say that his disability is a headcanon but he literally wears a knee brace. you don’t do that for the aesthetic. being upset that izzy died because it takes away from disabled representation and then refusing to acknowledge ed’s is straight up just hypocrisy. lucius is also easily recognized by the fact that his finger is literally made out of wood. there was a whole episode surrounding its amputation. and that might not seem like a big deal but lucius is an artist. i’m also an artist. i don’t know how i’d relearn drawing if that happened to me so the fact that he works around it and finds a way to keep doing what he loves is so meaningful. he’s also in a relationship with another disabled person, pete. pete has a speech impediment and cleft lip. he’s still seen as a fun and desirable character. he’s one of the only main characters who’s married. he has his flaws, he’s a compulsive liar and says the wrong thing sometimes, but his disability is never made into one of those flaws. i understand being upset that izzy died. he was a great character who represented a lot of people, but he wasn’t the only one. you don’t get to pick and choose which characters are disabled enough for you. disabled people aren’t your tragedy. they deserve to have stories outside of that too

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands #spanish jackie #ed teach #edward teach #blackbeard #lucius spriggs #black pete

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gingerrtarot · 8 months

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◌ ｡ PAC: “All eyes on me” - how you can fight your insecurities and start to stand out?

hello, everyone!

honestly this reading turned out to be pretty different from what the heading suggests🫡 but i hope it will still find those who it destined to find. So, as always, remember that this is a general reading, so it may it may not resonate with you. good luck~

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

°｡ Pile 1. ◌

hey hey, group one!! first of all, why do you underestimate yourself so much? seriously, this group came through as the ones with poor self-esteem, so if it’s not about you it’s not your group. I see people here focusing on their flaws and weaknesses too much. It comes to the point when you see nothing good in yourself, you refuse to recognize just how many good and outstanding qualities you possess. Every one of your strengths turns to weakness in your eyes. But seriously, you are so freaking cool, guys. Cards show you as someone extremely talented, interested and unique. Your personality is fascinating. There are not many people like you in this world. You are remarkably smart and intelligent, be it in a spiritual or scientific way, or maybe you know everything about, for example, cinematography or astrology. But, i believe, there’s not just one field in which you are educated. You know a lot. And i think you are pretty much aware of yourself too. And that’s interesting, because you still have self-esteem problems. Maybe that’s because you didn’t even have a chance to really esteem yourself, to see your worth, to show yourself to others, maybe, and receive some feedback, which, i am sure, would have been positive. You possess qualities that allow you to attract not only friends, but fans. Many of you have a talent, an outstanding one. Especially for performing in public, maybe singing, dancing, comedy, modeling or whatever. Many of you are destined for fame here. Wow, guys.

But what to do with that low self esteem of yours? First, acknowledge all your strengths and abilities. Make a list of them, and a list of your accomplishments too. Read them everyday. Teach yourself to stop seeing only bad side. You probably don’t tell anyone about this problem, but it will be really helpful for you to share it with your close friend (family member, lover, etc.). You would receive needed support from them. You don’t even realise how much their praise, compliments and encouragement will boost your confidence. And you will receive it for sure.

If what I said about a talent does resonate with you, well, it’s just a crime to hide it from the world. “Firework” by Katy Perry just started to play, so yeah, you know what to do. Don’t be afraid to express yourself. Wear that outfit you are afraid to wear, go out with that make up that it “too bold”, sing out loud, dance, post whatever it is that you want and so on. Remember, you are a star!!

°｡ Pile 2. ◌

hellooo, group 2!! who do we have here? we have critics. I see that people here are very critical of themselves. You set high standards for yourself, you must be the best in everything. You have to be all that: beautiful, smart, educated, skilful, proper etc. You want to succeed everywhere and in everything. It is important for you to show that you are no worse than others. You may have a fear of being left behind. And this makes you “cling” to everything at once, which ultimately leads to the fact that you are not truly successful at anything. “If you run after two hares, you will catch neither”, you know. And that makes you feel insecure, doubt your abilities and skills. You always feel like you are not enough. For example, you want to send resume for a job, but then you think “oh, i am not good enough for this position, they will definitely find someone better”. And you give up without even trying. Yes, you also give up too easily. Impostor syndrome may be the thing for you.

In fact the problem here is that because of that you don’t put enough energy and efforts into things that are interesting for you, that you want to do. It’s so hard for me to focus on your reading now, something distracts me all the time. You may feel the same. You can’t be perfect at everything, you should focus on what you really like.

I see that you are fast learners. You easily perceive new information and grasp the essence of things. You are probably always aware of what is happening in the world, you know all the latest news, follow trends, and all the gossip about your surroundings is unlikely to go unnoticed by you. And I think that you would be good at spreading information. Something about the way you speak captivates people. You can become a good speaker, blogger or work in marketing sphere.

Don’t let your doubts stop you from working towards your goals. My advice to you is to stop thinking and start acting. if you are unsure of your abilities and skills, take courses to improve your qualifications so that you can feel more confident. And stop being afraid to try and experiment. You are afraid to send this resume because “of course, they won’t accept you”but just try it. Or you don’t start drawing, let’s say, because you’re sure that you’ll get some kind of nonsense, just do it, draw it, and then again and again so you’ll improve and understand that it’s not all that bad. Here you need to stop expecting something supernatural from yourself, it’s okay if you are not perfect, accept yourself as you are and do what you can to become better. It is better to try and fail than to frame yourself into this “perfection” and do nothing. Good luck!!

°｡ Pile 3. ◌

Hi, group 3! An interesting case here. People here either have a decent, healthy self esteem (and if that is the case i don’t have much to say to you) or pretend it to be so. I see you here as extremely flamboyant personalities. You know how to draw attention, how to make people love you and how to get whatever it is that you want. You are charismatic, fun and charming. You learnt to be this way. At first i didn’t see a problem here. So maybe you don’t realise it either. You show the world a person that is not you, and you get so used to it. You display signs of a person with high self-esteem, but deep inside there’s a lot of pain, insecurities and fears. I see your inner child is extremely hurt here. Your connection with them is messed up. You lost yourself while pretending to be someone else to deserve love of people. Maybe you, the way you are, didn’t fit into society and weren’t accepted and that made you change. Many of you here are truly differ from your surroundings. Damn, we can have geniuses in this group. Your ideas, ways of thinking and seeing this world are something that people may not understand. You have very rich imagination and a creative vision. You are one of those who are able to come up with truly original ideas. Many of you also possess psychic abilities and are great master manifestors. And you all are so strong, because whereas I see your inner self suffering so much you are still able to show the world an absolutely happy and content person.

I see your inner child here as literally “bottled up” with its problems, fears and wounds. And he has to face it all alone. You are too scared to “open this bottle” because you would have to feel it all too. Or maybe you are not even aware of it. But it’s still there, inside of you. And if you stumbled across this reading it’s not just by accident.

So, what cards advice you here. You need to reconnect with your inner child, to recall who you was and who you really are. Understand and become aware of all your inner pain, triggers and everything that may bother you. Stop pretending. Give yourself time to acknowledge it all, accept yourself and relive all that pain. Let your feelings and emotions out. I’m not a doctor, indeed, but some of you would really benefit from working with a therapist if a lot of what i said resonates with you. To be and not to seem to be, that’s what you have to learn.

#pick a pile #free readings #pac #pick a card #tarot #tarot cards #tarot reading #pick a picture #tarotcommunity #daily tarot #free tarot

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hxney-lemcn · 3 months

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Beneath the Mask — Abyss Razor x gn! reader

summery: you show Abyss a kindness that no one has before, which leads to two lovesick fools.

tw: none that I can think of, just typical sad boy Abyss :(

a/n: I love him sm and there's almost no content for him so I had to do something about it.

wc: 1.1k

Master List | Part One | Part Two | Part Three

The first time you laid eyes on him they were drawn to the porcelain mask that laid on his face. Although the face is typically the first thing someone’s eyes land on, you felt like you did something wrong. He was clearly hiding his face, as not only did he wear the delicate mask, but he wore his hood up. You didn’t wish to offend him in any way, so you politely asked if you could sit next to him as that was the only seat left.

That was the start of your relationship with Abyss Razor, a high ranked Magia Lupus from the Lang dormitory. He was quiet and intimidating, and the fact that you couldn’t see his reactions or expressions only made you feel more timid in his presence. Yet even though he looked to be domineering, and a part of a notorious cult-like group that boasted of their superiority, he had been nothing but kind to you. For group projects he let you lead, chiming in politely when you almost did something wrong.

His tall imposing figure had turned into a comforting presence. He never judged you for your flaws and he seemed genuinely interested when you found yourself speaking of your interests. You had found yourself falling for your mysterious deskmate despite all odds. You didn’t mind the mask he wore, nor that you ended up filling most of the silence between you two…although sometimes you wished he’d speak more about himself. You couldn’t help that your endearment for Abyss had caused you to want to learn more about him as a person.

And then the unexpected happened. One day, Abyss had showed up to class without his mask. You tried your hardest not to stare, but you were flabbergasted that he had been hiding the most handsome face you had ever laid eyes on. From his long light blue hair tied up in a high ponytail all the way to the jagged marks that lined his cheeks. He was truly beautiful, and you found yourself suddenly questioning your relations to him. It was only recently that you had pondered to finally admit your feelings, but that suddenly seemed to be a lost cause.

You looked down at the table, unable to shake off your sudden feeling of inadequacy. Like usual, he took his seat next to you, taking out the needed materials for the course. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking a glance at him from the corner of your eye. He looked so graceful as his eyes followed his every move. Oh those eyes. You knew the tale of the devil who imbued his evil into only whom could be deemed evil. The mark of the evil eye was only a fable you had thought, but how could one of the sweetest men you had ever met be evil? He kept to himself, never wanting to impose. He’d help whenever he could, never wanting to be useless. You felt your heart break as you finally realized why others kept a distance from him.

You frowned, wondering how you could be so oblivious about someone you cared so deeply for. You had prided yourself for being observant of his traits, of recognizing his feelings without needing to see his face, only to be the most oblivious.

“I-I understand i-if you want to stop being friendly t-towords me,” Abyss stuttered, breaking you out of your reverie. Your eyebrows furrowed as you frowned. You finally faced him fully, taking in his downcast gaze, his eyes refused to meet yours, and his head stayed bowed. You once again felt your heart break. Did he really think so little of you? Did he take you for someone so superficial? You had shown him never ending understanding, did he really think you’d just stop because of his powers? Did he really only think of your love as pity?

“Why would I do that?” You asked, eyes locked on him with determination.

He glanced at you before quickly correcting himself and kept his eyes down, “...I have a curse, and I don’t want to burden you.” You blinked blankly at his idiocracy. Curse? How could the man who lit your heart aflame be a curse or a burden? You longed for his company, for his attention, couldn’t he feel your admiration? Had you really hidden your feelings that well?

“You’re not a burden,” You huffed, trying to keep your frustration in check. He had clearly been hurt, and you didn’t want to add to it. “And I don’t think of it as a curse.” Before he could rebuttal your claims, the teacher had waved everyone’s attention to the front.

It was rare for you to see Abyss outside of class. Although Magia Lupus had disbanded for an unknown reason, your worlds still seemed to be vastly distant. His smooth voice called your name, you looked up from the book you were currently reading. As hard as you tried not to, your gaze lingered on his left eye, memorizing the intricate detail that it held. But you knew it was a sore spot for him, so you tried to dial back your reverence.

His face was solemn, his eyes meeting your own for the first time, “There have only been a few people who have looked over my abilities. Fewer have actually let me stay by their side. It seems that your kindness is greater than I thought, and for that I thank you.”

You weren’t sure what to feel. Your heart fluttered at the unadulterated gratitude that showed in his eyes, yet it felt crushed by how terribly others have treated him. An overwhelming feeling consumed you, a feeling of wanting to shower him in all the affection and love he needed and more. This feeling shocked you, as you’ve never felt so strongly towards another before, and it somewhat scared you.

“Abyss,” You mumbled, restraining yourself from jumping at him to engulf him in a hug. He looked anxious, cheeks reddening slightly as he glanced away. You stood up, unable to hold back your affections. Giving in to your own desires selfishly, you indeed engulfed him in a hug. You squeezed him lightly, hoping your feelings got across to the beautifully sad man you held.

His body tensed under your touch, and you went to pull away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but his arms wrapped around you before you could move. His touch was gentle as he unsurely held you back. The two of you stood like that for a good while, taking in the comfort the other brought. When you finally pulled away, Abyss couldn’t meet your eyes, this time out of fluster. His cheeks were painted a deep red as he fumbled with his hands. A bright smile shown across your face at the display. Once again, you were astounded how the world could turn such a sweetheart away.

A boost of confidence overtook you at Abyss’ bashful display, “I really like you, and nothing will change that.”

That seemed to be the finishing move as he passed out.

Next Page ⟶

#abyss razor x reader #mashle x reader #abyss x reader #razor x reader #mashle #abyss razor #x reader

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writers-potion · 2 months

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Don't Fear Criticism

Creating homosexual characters can feel like planting an active grenade in the middle of your story. You start to fear bad reception of your work - even before you start!

But really, there is no need to worry. The fact that you're concerned only proves that you care.

You probably won't get it the first time.

You probably will get some criticism.

Only remember that it's perfectly normal to make mistakes. After you punch out your draft, have beta readers who are part of the community and incorporate their feedback.

No Diversity Shopping

Yes, diversity is important, but it's no checklist where you need to list all possible sexual orientations and have at least one character for each.

First of all, it would be quite impossible.

Second, that is likely to make all of them underdeveloped and stereotypical.

Check if you really need the character in your plot.

If they turn out to be homosexual, let them run their own course and shape their path. If your story's theme is related to the character's sexuality, think about the message you want to convey.

Quality over quantity, always.

Go Beyond Sexuality

Your characters exist, and they happen to be homosexual, not the other way around. This doesn't mean that it won't be an important, or that you should downplay their sexuality.

Strike a balance by showing readers their hobbies, interests, likes and dislikes, relationships with their family and friends, etc. The more holistic they are, readers are going to be convinced that you have an actual character, not a scarecrow holding up the #diversity tag.

How do their sexuality play into their broader narrative?

Develop a Backstory

Every homosexual character must have thought about their orientation and identity, with a process of how they came to recognize their sexuality.

Whether you're character is a confused teenage girl, or a middle-aged gentleman with a stable relationship, think about what brought them here.

Backstories don't have to be tragic. They can have supportive parents and find escapism in online communities who accept them for who they are.

There isn't just one "gay life". Get creative.

Normalization is Important

Sometimes, your story world will not accept homosexual people as normal. That's okay!

However, there is a difference between other character treating them unfairly and you as an author normalizing homophobia in your narrative.

Word choice and tone would play a key role.

When a likeable character is homophobic, avoid normalizing it by making it a flaw. Show that your conservative medieval village is narrow-minded when they treat them as outcasts.

Homophobes may not necessarily be the evil guys.

It's enough to state (clearly) that it's wrong.

Make Use of Tropes

Stereotypes aren't just an issue with gay characters, but when used successfully, have created wonderful retellings and spinoffs that are refreshing.

You can purposefully overplay stereotypes to show how silly they are. Deconstructing stereotypes can add humor to your narrative.

You can also use them to explore the expectations that readers have for those kinds of characters. The Gay Best Friend might be a trope, but you can get them to go deeper than the typical sidekick to realize their true potential as a cast member.

Religion and Homosexuality

In the real world, religion and homosexuality are often presented on far opposites of politics, and that makes me sad. Homosexual characters are free to be religious, find peace, support and mindfulness through any religion of their choice.

Vise versa, deeply religious characters can have wonderful relationships with homosexual characters.

It all comes down to how your characters interpret religion and homosexuality in light of those religious values. Though I'm an atheist, I believe all religions have the ability to embrace diversity at their core.

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸

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rorah · 3 months

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The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.

It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.

But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.

Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.

I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.

I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.

First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.

Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.

"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."

this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help

The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.

There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #my lil blorbo with mental health issues #few3hopes #fire emblem warriors 3 hopes #Today I woke up and felt like venting #BUT Just to make myself clear #this has nothing to do with ships #you can ship whatever you want #You do you #Just in case someone has that feeling #This is an analysis from a mental health point of view #because it is one of the strong points of this character and with which many of us connect/relate #So I like to apply psychological and neurological (even psychiatric if necessary) perspectives #And I like to apply realistic theories to this fictional world because that is the good thing about three-dimensional characters #They feel so human that all these hypotheses can be applied #If some of you don't. That's cool too. You do you #Enjoy the game as you please lil fella #ALSO ALSO I'm taking into account what the intention of the developers was #(that would be tricky considering the inconsistency withing the developers' team >___>)

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everysongineverykey · 9 months

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i've said this before but i think a huge part of the reason undertale's character writing works that doesn't get talked about enough is the fact that it doesn't fall into the trap of having FRIENDSHIP fix everything. i mean in a way it kind of does but like. the characters fix their own mistakes. they are the ones to decide they've done wrong and take action to fix it, not you. they just realize that through frisk. friendship gives them the new perspective necessary to change their ways, but it's only half the solution.

it's alphys who decides, on her own, to take the amalgamates home and admit her mistakes. it's undyne who, when it's her turn to attack you, outside her flaming house, decides there's no point in this path of mindless murder and destruction she's dug for herself, and breaks the cycle herself by dropping her weapon and deciding not to fight you anymore. it's asgore who, after you've done nothing but attack him, realizes what a coward he's been and decides to end the cycle of violence at the cost of his own life. it's mettaton who hears the voices of the hundreds who love him, and who he loves, and realizes that for now, it's more worth it for him to be content where he is. it's asriel who, despite the comfort of pretending chara's still with him, chooses to recognize frisk as who they really are, and face a harsh reality so he can save his family. sans sees your determination and perseverance in the face of hopelessness and decides that maybe there is something to fight for, all by simply watching you. hell, papyrus gives up his fight entirely on his own- all he needs is an opportunity to really think his plan to join the guard through, and a taste of what that guard actually stands for, and he decides it's not worth it without you saying a word. undertale presents you with all these flawed and complex characters and says, "here, look. they're just like you, and they chose to save themselves, despite everything in them telling them they were damned. will you do the same?"

#undertale #they. saved. themselves. that's the whole point of this game.#you saved their souls. but only they can save their lives.#i think that's why ut's redemption arcs work. they're not just frisk 'fixing' everyone. they're damaged and flawed people caught in cycles #of loneliness and nihilism and insecurity and self-hate #who find friendship for the first time in years and decide that this is worth becoming the best people they can be.#that's why frisk doesn't break the barrier. it's corny #but i think at least part of undertale is about how we need to break our own barriers. and we will need external love and support to do tha #but ultimately- as seen with asriel- it's our decision to set ourselves free.

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doliacuddles · 27 days

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MELODY OF HELL.

𝖠𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋 𝗑 𝖨𝖽𝗈𝗅! 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

PART ONE | PART TWO (𝖢𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇)

❝Lost in the allure of fame's infernal embrace, she danced on the edge of her nightmares, unaware of the lurking shadows until they engulfed her world.❞

The roar of the crowd echoed in your ears as you gracefully moved across the stage, bathed in the dazzling lights of the show. Like a music star in Hell, your talent had once again become your ladder to fame.

Your path to success had been cut short by a tragic fate in the mortal world. An obsessed fanatic, unable to bear the idea of your heart belonging to another, had snatched away your life in an act of unrestrained madness.

Now, in the eternal embrace of Hell, you found yourself surrounded by the echo of your own past glory. With each passing day, your fame grew stronger and stronger, as if the fire of Hell itself fanned the flames of your stardom.

Renowned companies like VoxTek and others fought for the right to have your face in their projects. Your image was coveted, your name whispered in every corner of this realm of torment.

And so, when Charlie, the charming owner of the Hazbin Hotel, extended an invitation for you to join her establishment as part of a publicity strategy, you couldn't resist. The promise of an astronomical amount of money and the opportunity to expand your reach in Hell were too tempting to refuse.

And thus, you found yourself in front of the imposing structure of the Hazbin Hotel, your steps echoing on the ground as you entered a new chapter of your infernal existence.

Your arrival at the Hazbin Hotel took everyone by surprise. Charlie had not announced that you would be there for a publicity campaign. Niffty quickly approached, excited, to ask for your autograph and praise you for your songs. Husk, with a look of surprise on his face, looked at you, remembering your perfect image as you used to appear on television.

Angel Dust, already familiar with you due to the association with VoxTek, greeted you with a mischievous smile. Vaggie, without even turning around, recognized you upon hearing your voice. She had heard the songs you used to perform even before coming to Hell.

The presence of everyone in the Hazbin Hotel was tinted with surprise and admiration, everyone except Alastor. Although he showed disinterest towards you, as if he didn't know you, he actually knew who you were, as your image was everywhere in Hell.

As the days passed, you immersed yourself even more in the dynamics of the Hazbin Hotel. The vibrant and chaotic atmosphere of the place was completely different from anything you had experienced in the mortal world. You found yourself surrounded by demons of all kinds, each with their own story and motivations.

After filming a commercial for the Hazbin Hotel, you soon found yourself surrounded by demons at the hotel's doors, eager to be redeemed. Those accepted by Charlie approached you quickly to engage in conversation, while those rejected by Vaggie left with their heads down, feeling disappointed for not being able to see you.

From atop the stairs, Alastor watched how you interacted with your followers. He listened as you constantly repeated the words "I love you," watching as your followers fainted with happiness upon hearing them, only to quickly get up and continue talking to you.

To Alastor, it was astonishing how your words repeated themselves over and over, as if you were trying to convince yourself of their sincerity. He could see beyond your facade, noticing every flaw, hearing every lie, observing every false action. It fascinated him that others couldn't see it.

Hours passed until Charlie decided to show the Hazbin Hotel to the new guests, who accepted the invitation reluctantly. Alastor saw this as an opportunity to approach you and strike up a conversation, taking advantage of the fact that you would be alone.

Before Alastor could utter a word, a violent uproar erupted as someone crossed the doors of the Hazbin Hotel. The boy, with desperation painted in every gesture, advanced towards you, his face contorted by a mixture of anguish and obsession.

You turned your head at the sound, and in an instant, the air was laden with the weight of your darkest memories. There he was, the author of your past tragedy, his presence throwing you back to the night when your mortal life faded away in a burst of madness.

"You...!" Your voice, a trembling echo of the fear still throbbing in your heart, rose with a shiver. Instinctively, you recoiled from him, as if mere contact could return you to the abyss from which you had escaped.

The boy, desperate to be heard, cried out your name amid messy apologies, his words resonating in the tense air. But each apology, each excuse, only served to push you further away, as if his very presence were a living reminder of your nightmares.

Alastor, watching the scene with sadistic amusement dancing in his eyes, couldn't resist the opportunity to intervene. With a twisted smile and a malicious glint in his gaze, he planted himself between you and the intruder, stopping him in his tracks with a presence that chilled the bones.

The boy halted at the imposing figure of Alastor, his countenance drenched in terror as the Radio Demon unfolded his dark theater before them.

"What do we have here?" Alastor's voice rang out, filled with theatricality and a sinister undertone. His words cut through the tense silence like a sharpened knife. "It seems someone has decided to intrude on our little paradise here at the Hazbin Hotel."

The boy recoiled at Alastor's imposing presence, his eyes widening with palpable fear at the sight of the infamous Radio Demon.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble," the boy stammered, his words stumbling over each other in his desperation, his eyes frantically searching for an escape in the labyrinth of shadows looming over him.

A guttural laugh emerged from Alastor's throat, echoing in the space between them and causing the boy to tremble even more. "Oh, but you have caused trouble, haven't you? Wouldn't you agree, ma chére?" Alastor redirected his gaze towards you, a spark of sinister curiosity shining in his crimson eyes.

Trembling, you nodded, feeling the weight of fear enveloping you like a dark blanket.

"I think this young man needs to learn... a lesson," Alastor continued, his smile spreading like the slit of a predator closing in on its prey, each step he took towards the boy slow, deliberate, like the clock of doom ticking away the time until his inevitable fate.

The boy retreated even further, trembling from head to toe as Alastor approached with a malicious smile on his lips, the promise of torment dancing in the air between them like a sinister infernal waltz.

While Alastor delighted in your stalker's agony, footsteps echoed in the background, approaching rapidly. Fear surged through you at the thought of others witnessing the scene you had just witnessed. With your heart pounding in your chest, you decided to discreetly slip out of the spotlight, moving away to avoid being involved.

As it began, so it ended. Charlie and Vaggie appeared at the top of the stairs, their expressions a mix of concern and confusion at the sound of the agonized screams that had echoed in the lobby. But upon arrival, everything seemed calm, as if the calm had devoured the chaos that had reigned moments before.

Alastor, with his eternal smile and sinister elegance intact, licked his lips lightly with his finger as he watched the scene with satisfaction. Your face, now calm and serene, reflected a tranquility that contrasted with the turbulence that had invaded your mind just moments before. You were a portrait of perfection, as if the tension and fear had never touched your being.

"Did something happen?" Charlie's voice cut through the silence, her eyes scanning the surroundings for answers as she descended the stairs. "I thought I heard the door minutes ago."

"Oh, yes, it was a sinner seeking redemption," Alastor replied with a soft laugh, his tone carefree, hiding the darkness lurking behind his words. "But it seems he had a sudden revelation and decided to leave."

Alastor's explanation seemed to satisfy Charlie, although a shadow of doubt crossed her face for a brief moment. Vaggie, on the other hand, watched the scene with palpable caution, as if suspecting that something more was happening beneath the apparently calm surface of the Hazbin Hotel.

Before Vaggie could express her doubts about Alastor's words, your voice rang out in the air like a firm and determined echo. "Shouldn't you be with the new guests, Charlie?" Your voice, imbued with apparent serenity, cut through the air with authority. "It took me some effort to get them here, don't make them leave." With a tranquil smile, you winked at Charlie, who understood the message instantly and, with a quick gesture, bid farewell to Alastor and you to take Vaggie by the arm and head towards where she had left the newcomers.

Alastor glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, his smile widening at the sight of your impassive face, a mask of calm that hid the chaos swirling beneath the surface. "I didn't think you were such a good liar," Alastor murmured with a tone between amused and admiring, leaning slightly to be at eye level with your face. "Now I understand why you're so perfect for the media, ma chére."

"Thank you for ending my nightmare, Alastor," you replied with sincere gratitude, your words causing a swell in Alastor's ego that he could barely contain. With that simple phrase, you intended to retreat to your room, but Alastor stopped your movement by taking your wrist firmly.

"Wait, do you think my help is free?" His smile widened even more, revealing his teeth in a sinister grin. "For this little favor I've done you, I'll ask you for something in return. Something easy." His eyes gleamed with unsettling intensity. "Every time I ask you something, I expect an honest answer. I don't want your false words."

Alastor released your arm and bid farewell with a graceful gesture, leaving you there, with the weight of his request resonating in your mind like a persistent echo in the darkness.

Intellectual property of @doliacuddles.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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noroi1000 · 11 months

Note

So hear me out, this is gonna be a SatoSugu x reader.

Gojo and Geto are already dating, you can choose either they’re keeping it a secret or not, and what if past Gojo and Geto came to the future accidentally, and they’re stuck for a few days. The reader who is an adult is in love with Gojo and Geto, which btw she used to be a student to them, but since she knows they’re dating, she’s trying to date other guys, I honestly have no idea where I’m taking this but I’m asking is that adult Gojo and Geto find out that she had a crush on them because of their younger selves. And then they try their best to make her like them again and eventually turn her into their girlfriend.

Now, before and after - the same

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you love your teachers. But they are a couple. You didn't want to ruin their relationship. You lived with a broken heart. However, why do you see younger versions of them in your home? They want to change it. They want you to be happy. Because they fell in love with you. That's why their older versions must have loved you too.

SatoSugu x fem reader

Warnings: broken heart

Words: 2.5k

"Wha–?!"

The teenagers turned back to see you standing behind them as they sat together on the bed where they suddenly appeared.

The curse they were fighting was irritating, taking them to different places. And after they overcame it, they suddenly found themselves in someone's house?!

What is it?

You watched as two teenage boys stared at you with slightly widened eyes.

Until you finally recognized them by their characteristics.

You never thought your young teachers looked like this when they went to school.

Gojo had almost the same hair, but without the undercut at the back of his head.

Geto's hair was shorter and completely in a bun. You recognized him by his bangs and earrings.

Also, their eyes haven't changed at all.

"Satoru and Suguru?" You asked standing next to the wall.

"Yeah..." muttered the white-haired man.

"Why are you here?"

"Who are you?"

Their faces were surprised as you explained everything that happened to them. That's all you are.

And you've seen Satoru's hand searching for Suguru's hand sometimes...

Just like when you were their student...

Their first student...

Why did you have to be their first apprentice? Plus, you were the only one this year. That's why you were always alone with them.

That's why something unexpected happened...

You fell in love with your young sensei...

You were 16 and they were 22.

Why were you now 22 and they were 17 or 18?

Because you remember that they once fought a curse on one mission. They answered you about it.

That it once took them to another country for a few days, and then they were back in Japan.

That was weird.

But oh well. In the world of Jujutsu, that was almost normal...

They started to be very easy with you.

And you saw their youthful love.

They had been together since they were teenagers.

That's why you couldn't be angry with them.

You fell in love with your teachers... And now you clearly knew that everything between them started sooner than you thought.

When they met you, they had already been together for five years...

So you couldn't argue.

That's why your heart ached.

Even now that you've grown up. You've seen them now.

You moved out right after graduation and you don't keep in touch with them.

They are still together. You see them sometimes when you go to the Jujutsu School to report after a mission.

But that wasn't enough.

You still loved them. But you couldn't change the fact that they're together now. You couldn't separate them.

You were happy for them.

But your heart ached.

You've been dating, but you've never once fallen in love with someone else. You've never been as nice with anyone as you have been with them.

Only they could draw your sincere smile out of you.

You loved them for everything they had. Advantages and disadvantages.

But you couldn't force them to love the same thing about you.

They don't love your flaws and virtues. They don't love you.

You ran away from them so you wouldn't suffer from seeing them together. And you wouldn't have anyone to make you as happy as they did.

That's why you wanted to live alone, to calm down. To control your emotions.

To control your feelings for them.

But they always show up...

To calm your feelings, you'd have to never see them again.

But you see them sometimes.

And they do not hide their relationship.

That's why it hurts you more.

That you can't have what they have.

That you can't hold their hand and walk between them.

That you can't feel the lips they connect.

That you can't hug them.

You can't hear them say they love you.

You miss the times when you just fell in love with them. Your love was so innocent. And you loved them even though they were already together. You saw how they are a couple. But nothing bothered you.

Only later did you start to see that they wouldn't pay attention to your feelings at all. And you wanted to quit.

You did everything to fall in love. But it didn't do anything.

That's why you ended up on the other side of Tokyo, away from them.

Not keeping in touch with them, even though you all would like to.

They have other disciples now.

They now have Panda, Maki, Toge and Yuta. They have Megumi, Yuji and Nobara.

They didn't need their former apprentice.

The first student they ever taught anything.

That's why you cried at night, knowing you'd never be noticed by them.

"What's wrong, (y/n)?"

You turned around to see a young White Haired man standing next to the couch you were supposed to sleep on.

They were two. And in addition, they could sleep in one bed. That's why you let them do it by giving them your bigger bed.

However, you couldn't sleep.

You were sitting on the couch with the TV on so quiet you couldn't hear any sound.

"Satoru..." you muttered, looking at his blue eyes without glasses.

"Something happened? You look sad." He sat down next to you.

That's what his adult version always said.

Same.

That made you even sadder.

"You can tell your sensei." He laughed. "But seriously, you can really tell me."

You looked down at your hands as you sat silently.

His hand has been placed on yours.

To get your attention.

"Satoru...I just..." you started but you were unable to continue.

"Yeah?"

You closed your eyes, sighing.

He's not the Satoru that's in this timeline anyway... He's from the past...

"I just, ever since I was your student, loved you..."

His eyes widened as he blushed slightly.

Adult Satoru never blushed.

"You... you love us...?"

"Your older versions... I never met you when you were teenagers... I know it's stupid and I shouldn't be telling you this. But it won't change anything anyway."

"Why didn't you say you love us?!"

You suddenly hushed him.

"Shhhh... Not so loud! Suguru is sleeping!"

"He's awake. He woke up just like me..."

You sighed at this...

"So why didn't you tell us?"

"You are a couple. I didn't want to destroy our relationship. That's why I let it go..."

"You could have told us! We sure loved you! You are so nice and pretty! Sweet and caring!"

You blushed but laughed.

"Ever since I've known you, I've never once felt that you could think that way."

"It's not like that!"

"Go to sleep. You'll probably be back home soon. But for now, I'll try to take care of you."

You left the room and went to the bathroom.

And you sat on the floor.

"Suguru... There's no (y/n)..." the white-haired moaned, jumping on his boyfriend's stomach.

The weight made the dark-haired man exhale in surprise as the weight appeared on his body.

"What?" He groaned looking at him.

"She is not at home!" he said louder.

They just woke up.

Gojo told him yesterday that you fell in love with them, but you let it go and left.

And when he wanted to check on you, you were gone!

You were an adult, but you promised you wouldn't leave the house without telling them where you were going!

Where did you go?

Yesterday you were scrolling through your phone and texting someone.

But they were more worried about gdixe you are and gdixe you went.

They put on their uniforms and immediately left the house.

They certainly didn't know the streets or anything.

But they walked in circles for several hours.

Until suddenly they saw a familiar face in the restaurant they used to go to.

Well, now it's not a new restaurant. And while they were at school it was.

But you were there.

You sat at a table, lazily swirling your drink as a guy sat in front of you.

From what they've seen, you're already finishing your food. Only drinks left.

But when they saw this guy reach up to your face to put his hand on your cheek, they almost punched the glass with their fists.

You moved a bit away from his hand, and said something they couldn't decipher because they couldn't hear.

But that didn't change the fact that you're sitting in a restaurant with some guy right now!

But right after that the waiter came and gave you the bill, I think.

While this guy was paying, you lazily turned your head to the window. So they quickly ran away.

As they lurked behind the wall, their heads poking out, they saw the two of you leave, walking in the opposite direction of them.

They leaned even more.

Their blood was flooded as they saw this guy trying to grab you by the waist as you walked.

But as soon as his hand tried to pull you to him, you pulled away.

"I'm sorry... I'm not in the mood today..." you mumbled. You sounded sad.

You were on a date with this guy!

you liked him. But sometimes he was pushy. Especially since you've been dating for a while.

And you thought he was the one who would be your escape from your feelings for them.

But you still can't.

"Would you like to come over today? You seem sad. I'll keep you company." He said with a small smile as you stood there.

"No thanks... I'm tired. Thank you for meeting me." You said with a small smile.

When Satoru heard him say that, his legs shifted a little more to see you more.

And he saw how you smiled slightly at him.

Then he got mad because you went on a date with someone else! And it's obvious you didn't enjoy it! You love their older versions! So it is and so it must be!

He almost fell over from how much he bent over.

If it wasn't for the dark haired man's arms, he would have fallen and you would have caught them peeping at you.

Geto wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him down. Making them both fall to the sidewalk, but hidden around the corner of the building.

You haven't seen them.

Especially that Gojo was sitting there like a grumpy child, between Suguru's legs who saved the situation.

"We have to find us from the future!" He said firmly. "Since we can't do anything, we have to tell them that she loves us! They sure love her!"

They only had one problem...

Since they were teachers, they must have been at Jujutsu High.

But they didn't know how to get there...

After a long and hard search for some means of transport, they managed to find their way to their school.

And as they walked along the sidewalks, they saw that nothing had changed.

The school was empty as always.

They couldn't find them quickly.

But there was something that happened. At the same time good and bad.

"Who are you?"

They heard a voice behind them.

They turned to see three people about their own age in similar uniforms.

"And who are you?" White Hair asked, looking over his glasses at them.

These two, according to them, resembled their teachers.

"Are you from Kyoto?"

"Kyoto is shit." he growled.

"Who are you? You have sorcerers uniforms." Said the pink haired.

"Are you students here?" The dark haired one asked.

He nodded.

"You look as stupid as Sensei with those glasses." The girl grimaced. "Such glasses are out of fashion. Bun too, I guess..."

"Respect your elders, brat!"

"Where are your teachers?" Geto looked at the dark-haired boy.

"They should be around here somewhere. Do you know them?"

"You could say."

They looked at the quarrel between the girl and the white-haired man.

"You are Geto Suguru, right?"

"Hmm?"

Fushiguro recognized them. It was obvious.

Unlike the others, he met them when they were that age. As teenagers.

"Yeah." He smiled slightly. "So you probably recognize Satoru..."

"Yeah..."

They looked at the further quarrel as the White Haired man laughed at the height of the girl.

"What's going on here?"

They all looked in one direction to see two tall men walking towards them.

"Sensei!"

The disciples left to give them passage.

The older ones set against the younger ones.

"What the hell?" The dark haired man raised one eyebrow, looking at the white haired boy in front of him.

But the White Haired boy's eyes flashed as he saw the older Suguru who was a bit taller than him.

And next to him stood an even taller white-haired man, looking at the younger Geto.

And suddenly he smiled, wrapping his arms around the shoulders of the younger Suguru.

"Suguru! I told you you looked good in school!" He laughed, hugging him.

"Suguru..." the younger moaned as his older version hugged his boyfriend. Jealous.

"Satoru, there's no time for this. let him go. We don't know why they're here." He grabbed his collar.

But his one hand was placed on the younger Gojo's back, making his cheeks burn.

They all had to calm down.

It was supposed to be for you!

Not for them to meet!

"W-We're not here to meet you like this!" Suguru moaned, pushing the adult Gojo's chest away. "It's about (y/n)!"

They both calmed down hearing your name.

"(y/n)?"

"She loves you!" the younger Satoru said.

"She has been heartbroken ever since she met you because she loves you! And now she was on a date with some guy! She's not even happy!"

"On a date? Our girl? That's weird... Because I didn't expect her to love us..." suddenly his lips turned into a smile. "Suguru! That means she loves us too!"

Nobody knew what to say.

You all loved each other.

But no one knew about it...

What a life...

And they were needed to tell them about it. And for them to enjoy.

"When you get home, our timeline will change. And what you know now will remain. You will know that she loves us. That's why when you come home, we'll be together."

They didn't even remember coming home. One day later? One hour later? They don't remember anything.

But they remember that there will be some girl (y/n). And this girl will be their love.

While in the future, three people lay in a huge bed.

Your head was resting on the forearm you used as a pillow.

When you open your eyes, you saw the bright face of your former teacher. With eyelashes lying smoothly on the cheeks. His hands were around your waist. your bare waist.

Nothing left of your broken heart. You don't even remember that you ever suffered and cried because of them.

You just felt their warmth.

You reached for his cheek, stroking it lightly.

And then you reached your hand to the hand that was lying on his side, connecting your fingers with Suguru's, who was lending you his hand as a pillow.

All you remember after everything that's happened is that since they became your teachers, you love them.

And you've been together all these years.

#gojo satoru #gojo x y/n #gojo x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #geto suguru #jujustu kaisen #jjk #gojo #jujutsu kaisen #satosugu x reader #gojo x you #gojo fluff #gojo x reader x geto #gojo x geto #geto suguru x reader #geto x y/n #getou suguru

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stayconnecteed · 6 months

Text

❪⠀🪐. hot chocolate⠀𓏔⠀bangchan⠀❫

☆ㅤbarista!bangchan x afab!reader ( i wanna be yours oneshots )⠀★⠀9.1k words

( i'm sorry if this sucks, i know it's long. have a nice day cuties ♡ )

synopsys: every time you tell someone that you don't like coffee, the reaction is total incomprehension, even indignation. but when your university classmates leave you standing at the café where your crush works, you decide to order a coffee to try to avoid looking bad and end up making a fool of yourself. warnings: i think fluff bangchan needs a warning by itself because woah you can become addicted. but a part from that, there's a brief mention of death while talking about korean mithology, reader is a very introverted and insecure person ーexpect a lot of sad thoughts :(( but felix is here to save the day and hopefully the rest of the story is a little bit of idiots who have a crush on each other.

You were stressed because the first semester was about to end, you had Christmas vacations around the corner, exams approaching at an overwhelming speed, and yet one of your teachers had given you two last-minute projects, one practical and one theoretical. Luckily it was in groups, and your best friend, Hyunjin, had included you in his after a quick pleading glance, assuring you some peace of mind. Not that he was very good at the academic aspect ーnotes, exams, homework and studying in generalー, but he made up for it with a great sense of aesthetic, and managed to make all your projects really visually appealing. Also, your other two friends were very nice and very good at the subject, so whenever you didn't understand something they would always offer to explain it to you with a big smile and kind words.

If they had a flaw, unfortunately, it was being late absolutely everywhere. And perhaps an unhealthy addiction to coffee, although that was not so much a flaw as a general characteristic of the vast majority of students. Sadly, neither of the two suited you at the moment, when you found yourself in front of the most famous coffee shop on the entire campus, all by yourself, after you had been forced to walk more meters than you were willing to do on a normal day, as they didn't show up at the appointed time. Having to enter without his company was not what worried you, but what you would have to face once inside.

To say you hated coffee would be an exaggeration. In fact, during exam week you would have a couple of cups to avoid falling asleep over your notes on those endless nights of studying, or in the middle of class, but it just wasn't your favorite flavor. You hated the taste. Too bitter, the unpleasant aftertaste instantly drying your mouth and lingering on your tongue as an annoying reminder of the beverage you had just tasted. You always grimaced terribly when you took your first sip, something that anyone watching you found absurdly funny, and then, as you swallowed, even with your eyes closed, a shiver would run through your spine, as if your body recognized the drink and reacted to it.

The problem was that 5STAR was a coffee shop that specialized in coffee. They had scones, and cookies, and brownies to go with it, but they didn't make smoothies or juices. And you usually only went there with Hyunjin, who had been responsible for asking if they could make hot chocolate that first afternoon you had met to study there, a couple of years ago, before he had even started working in the establishment. You had been so embarrassed that it had taken you quite a while to return, and since then you had always left it up to him to order for you, after you had made sure that the barista who was serving was either him or Felix, the blond, freckle-faced Australian you went to class with, because you had never felt judged by his smile upon discovering that the chocolate was for you.

But now you were alone, on the sidewalk, and the time you had spent looking inside the place was starting to look weird. Your options were simple: go in, order a hot chocolate, sit down to prepare the subject and pretend it was the most normal thing in the world, or go in, order the first coffee you saw on the menu hanging on the wall, sit down to prepare the subject and wait for Hyunjin to come through the door to ask him to drink it. Obviously, you chose the second option, too tempted at the thought that someone might judge you, so you closed your eyes, took a breath of air, and pushed open the heavy glass door, praying that the barista who was serving at that moment wasn't the cute guy who, you had to admit, you had a little crush on.

But there he was, behind the counter, with a friendly smile plastered on his face, his dimples appearing and disappearing as he moved his lips to talk to the customer in front of him. He had decided not to put on the beanie he usually wore almost every day, and his thick curls spilled over his head, giving him a more relaxed look, in contrast to the serious outfit that was the café's uniform, with black pants and T-shirt and beige apron. You knew relatively little about him, such as that his name was Chris and he had been at the same college you went to, but shooting him quick glances whenever you went and he was there was your favorite hobby.

You cleared your throat, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear in a nervous gesture and stood in line, fiddling with your phone case, pulling out a corner and putting it back to pretend your hands weren't shaking. You didn't normally get so nervous about social interactions, but it was true that your natural shyness and introverted nature have given you more than one bad experience. And the fact that you were going to talk to Chris for the first time only made your anxiety skyrocket, because you know you weren't able to control what you say. Your mind went on autopilot, and all you' were left with was remembering for weeks the nonsense you had blurted out, unable to change a single word. You tried to formulate in your head the phrase you're going to use as the queue slowly moved forward, your gaze locked on the way you move your feet as you walked.

"Hello?" you heard, lifting your head so fast you feared you'd hurt your neck. Great, you were so distracted you didn't notice when it was your turn.

"Hi" you replied, forcing your eyes to fix on his and stopping them from roaming over every feature of his face. Fixing on his but blinking normally, you reminded yourself, clearing your throat again.

"Good afternoon" he repeated, his voice soft and gentle, one of his hands already over the screen to take down your order. "What will you have?"

"Oh..." you murmured, trying to rescue from your memory the phrase you had prepared. Don't say hot chocolate, don't say hot chocolate, don't say... "Hot chocolate."

"Huh?" he asked, his lips parted and his eyebrows furrowing in adorable confusion. You realized your tone was too low and he probably hadn't heard you correctly, though it was clear you had said something, denying you the chance to make up another answer to cover your mistake.

"Hot chocolate" you whispered again, glancing at the three people behind you, trying not to let them hear. You noticed the heat flushing your cheeks as you spoke, "Can you, uh, can you say it's something else?"

"Excuse me?" you couldn't help but watch his frown deepen even more, and you made a panicked face, trying to find a convincing excuse that didn't expose your null extroverted abilities or how poorly you had approached the conversation. Chris realized almost instantly how it was affecting you, and reached a hand over the counter to caress yours, relaxing his features. "Hey, hey, I just don't understand what you mean."

You heard the hammering of your heartbeat all over the place, drowning out the background noise as it rumbled in your ears, or in the muscles of your hand that were in contact with the barista's skin, but mostly in your chest, at such a volume that for a moment you feared all the café would be able to hear it. You swallowed saliva with difficulty, your mouth suddenly completely dry, and tried to formulate something that made a minimal amount of sense, "I'd rather not drink coffee, but I don't want those in the back to know that I ordered hot chocolate."

And then you saw him flash that smile you loved so much, trying to stifle a laugh, and he nodded, withdrawing his hand from above yours to write it down.

"Don't worry, I'll personally take care of your order" he assured you, his eyes glinting at the screen, biting his lip unconsciously in a gesture of concentration. "A mocca coffee, then, right?" he said, raising his tone a little.

"Yes" you replied, avoiding his gaze, shyly, when he shifted it slightly towards you to ask for your name. You set your phone down on the marbled surface of the counter to rummage through your totebag for your wallet. "It's to take here, not to go."

"Oh, then I'll bring it to you at the table when it's ready," he announced, leaning on his forearms to look down at you.

"But..., how much is it?" you asked, confused, the wallet open in your hands, a few coins on your palm.

"It's on the house" he answered you, his dimples accentuating.

The warmth in your cheeks spread across your face, and you made a little bow, knowing that you must have been flushed to your ears. You didn't bother struggling to hide your smile, and hurriedly put away your wallet, grabbing your phone and mumbling some kind of nervous thank you. When you turned around, your face out of Chris's gaze, you sighed, placing your hands on your cheeks to calm down a bit, and looked around for some table to sit at. The one you normally occupied was being used by a girl, but there were few people at that time, so you chose a nearby one, assuming Hyunjin wouldn't mind, and once everything was ready you started to take out the material.

You had brought your laptop, of course, and had printed out some ideas you'd had, sketching in the margins how you intended to cover the visual part 一although that was taken care of by Hyunjin. But you knew he was a bit chaotic, so having a base for what the presentation would look like always came in handy. That day you were going to prepare the theoretical part, in which you were to choose a song and a theme, write a long document stating your reasons, and then prepare a performance in which you would narrate some typical legend of the country through dance. As if you had the mental capacity to create a choreography from scratch at this point of the semester.

You knew it was going to be a relatively short meeting, because you were all out of time, so you entertained yourself looking for songs that would inspire you for the theme you had chosen, the Jeosung Saja. To tell the truth you had no idea about Korean mythology, but you had spent the whole afternoon looking for ideas on the internet and that was the most likely to present a good dance. They were messengers from the afterlife, those who guided the dead to the afterlife. You had read that they were usually represented with a black hanbok, and they also appeared in some dorama that had become famous, so you could develop a dark aesthetic, as Hyunjin liked so much.

You were so engrossed in rereading what you had written on your laptop screen, and in the list of songs recommended by the teacher, that you didn't notice that Chris had left the cup of chocolate on the table. You had to contain the pout you wanted to make, because you were sure he hadn't said anything to avoid disturbing you. It smelled wonderful, and he had left you a plate with a buttery croissant next to the hot chocolate, with a folded paper napkin that read "a mocha for the lovely girl at table 8 :))". Your lips began to curl into a smile as you took the napkin and carefully tucked it away in your planner, unable to stay focused on the music anymore.

Just as you had taken the cup in your hands, the temperature of the porcelain fighting the coldness of your skin, and warming your throat as you tasted it, Hyunjin and Felix entered the room, a chaos of laughter and exclamations, Sunwoo following closely behind, engaged in their conversation. You pretended to wince angrily, frowning and hastily putting the cup down on the table to cross your arms over your chest, giving Hyunjin a dirty look. When the boy noticed your state he hurried to sit next to you, his chin resting on your shoulder, mumbling various apologies about his delay.

"It was my fault, Ynnie," stated Sunwoo, setting his backpack on the table and sitting down across from you. "We were practicing the dance in Professor Park's class and there was a sequence of steps that kept going wrong for me."

"Don't worry, Woo" you replied, snuggling up next to Hyunjin, like always when you were together. "I'm doing it to annoy him."

"And what are you going to complain about if you got your chocolate?" you heard him mutter, picking up the cup to steal a sip from you.

"No thanks to you" you whispered back, taking it from his hands to drink yourself.

"Oooh, come on, don't be like that" he protested, his head resting on your shoulder, rolling his eyes, which managed to snatch some laughter from Felix. At your silence he turned just enough so he could make eye contact with you. "Are you really mad?"

"No."

"But?" he asked, knowing from the way you were that you weren't going to let on how much it had upset you if that had been the case.

"I had a hard time" you muttered, hiding behind your cup. "Neither Felix nor you were here to save me from having to ask for it myself."

"Whose turn was it today?" Sunwoo spoke up, turning to Hyunjin as he pulled out his own laptop.

"Chris" you replied, your cheeks reddening again.

"Oh" Felix said, before cracking a smile that hid how much he was dying to let out a squeal of excitement, "oooh."

"Oh, what?" asked Hyunjin, peeling slightly away from you and frowning in confusion.

"Nothing" you ended the conversation with a warning gesture to Felix, who pretended to run a zipper over his lips, and handed out the printed sheets of paper with the information you had found the previous afternoon, trying to get started on the project. "Well, I had thought about..."

"No, oh, what?" repeated Hyune, completely ignoring the written words and dividing his attention between the freckled boy in front of him and you, "what does he know that I don't?"

"Dude, if you don't know it's because you're just blind" Sunwoo stated, focused on the information, with a gesture of disbelief on his face.

"Guys, please" you requested, avoiding looking at Hyunjin and glancing back down at the sheet. "As I was saying, I had thought of basing our dance on the legend of the Jeosung Saja. You have a summary there, but I'll comment quickly: we can create a story from scratch about someone's death, and have two of us act as the Korean messengers, who let him say goodbye to the love of his life before guiding him to the afterlife, or something like that. I don't have the music yet, but it sounds like a good plan."

"It says here that we'd have to look for some black hanbok" Sunwoo pointed out, as you nodded, and shared a look with you, implying that he approved of the idea, already looking for ways to carry it out.

"Actually, I had thought of something else" Felix muttered, his fingers fiddling with the paper nervously. "Ehm, I read an article yesterday about these... Korean ghosts. They're called Gwisin, and there are four types, like us, there are four of us. There's Cheonyeo, which is the virgin ghost, Mul is the water ghost, Chonggak is the single man ghost, and Dalgyal is the egg ghost. There's only one girl, so it seemed perfect to me. It still has dark aesthetics, because they are wandering spirits of humans who have died with unfinished business, and also to record the dance we can talk to my friend Jake, who is doing a degree in photography and is good with cameras."

"I was going to propose Han or Chris to help us with the music" Sunwoo added, "because with all the time they spend glued to their laptops they're sure to have some track we can use, and we don't even need lyrics."

"Oh, it's actually much better than my idea, Felix" you agreed, closing the tab with the information you had searched for and starting to research about the Gwisin. As you read, you brainstormed, rambling outloud. "We can connect the lives of the four characters, do four solos that blend together, and add minutes of duets until, at the end, all four spirits end up accomplishing the unfinished business they had and do a final scene together"

"Yes!" exclaimed Felix, excited. "Just what I had thought. They've made scary movies about the Gwisin, but we can give it a dramatic twist. The virgin girl was an unrequited love of the water ghost, for example. We're going to have to get a pool to shoot the moment when he dances, you know, when he drowns and dies."

"That can be the start of the dance" proposed Sunwoo.

"I offer it to be me, if you want" said Felix, "I don't mind getting in the pool in December. I have enough experience in cold water, from when I was in Australia."

"Perfect" you affirmed, glad that you had gotten the job on track so well in such a short time. "I think we can go straight back to the studio to prepare the music, what do you think, Hyune?"

He had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout your talk, head resting on the back of the seat and gazing blankly, taking small sips from the cup of hot chocolate, with absent-minded gestures. You could almost see the gears turning in his mind, as he slowly nibbled at the croissant Chris had left for you. There was something that had been bothering him.

"I need a coffee," he muttered, leaving your empty cup on the table and ignoring your question, "would you like another chocolate?"

"Hyune..." you mumbled, confused at his attitude.

"I'll order it to go, don't worry" he added, grabbing his backpack. "I think Han is at home and has the 3racha equipment."

You shrugged as he stood up, and you then began to pick up your laptop and notebook, shoving them into your bag in a hurry to keep up with Felix and Sunwoo, who had hardly had to put anything away. Sunwoo had his own laptop already in the case, and Felix was folding the paper you had printed out, carefully, to tuck it between his notebooks, into his backpack. The three of you headed outside, to wait for Hyunjin, while Felix ran a hand around your waist, trying to coax information out of you.

"So..., Chris, huh?"

"Can we talk about how Hyunjin is mad for talking about it in front of him when he doesn't know anything?" you replied, giving him a loving punch on the arm. "Drop the topic."

"But it's the first time you've talked to him!" he protested, pouting, "I want to know everything!"

"YN is right, Lix," Sunwoo supported you, to which you shot him a grateful look. "Hyunjin is our creative soul and he hasn't blurted out a single word, that says a lot about the situation."

"I'm going to have to tell him about the crush, anyway" you stated, making the decision on the spot, leaning against Felix, "because it's not fair that he doesn't know."

"I don't understand why you haven't told him yet" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hyunjin and Chris work together" you explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "and besides, they're close friends."

"So does Felix" Sunwoo reproached, frowning.

"Felix keeps my secrets" you confessed, resting your head on his shoulder with a smile. "Hyune is too much of a gossip to keep that sort of thing to himself."

"If you tell him it's a secret he sure won't let it out" Felix muttered, defending his friend.

You glanced inside the shop, where Hyunjin was leaning against the counter, throwing his head back every time he let out a laugh, while Chris was talking to him, moving fluidly between the machines, preparing the order with expert hands. You couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at his familiarity. You weren't used to feeling this way about your friends, but the way Hyunjin's eyes twinkled at the jokes the barista would drop with a serious gesture and then burst into adorable laughter made you wonder if you hadn't been a little blind to their interactions. You tried not to think too much about it, but you had always had very bad luck with your crushes, something that had only increased your insecurities, and had forced you to keep a low profile on such matters.

"YN?" murmured Felix, one hand caressing your shoulder in an affectionate gesture. "You know he wouldn't say anything, right?"

"I know, it's just..." you lost the thread of your words, absorbed in the scene unfolding behind the glass, Chris reaching for a black marker to write something down on one of the take away cups, Hyunjin too busy searching for his wallet in his backpack to notice.

"Whatever you're overthinking right now isn't true" you heard the freckled blond say, drawing your attention back to him. "It's not the first time you've broken your own heart by heeding unrealistic assumptions you've got stuck in your head. Trust Hyunjin, he would never hurt you on purpose."

"I know," you repeated, turning to face away from the café, but avoiding making eye contact with him, "but I don't... I know and I repeat it to myself, but sometimes I just don't listen, even if it's true."

When you looked up, your eyes beginning to fill with tears you didn't intend to shed, Felix was giving you a look full of understanding. You had few friends as close to your heart as he and Hyunjin, but between Lix and you there had always been a kind of connection built on a common bond, as had been the constant insecurities that only you were able to keep from escalating.

"Let me know when it's like this," he asked, his hand leaving your shoulder and running down your arm until it came to fidget with your fingers, "give me a sign, or look at me. I'll remind you."

You nodded, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck, letting yourself be comforted by his touch, and managed to muster a smile as he tried to give you a hug but your totebag blocked his way. You saw him pout, and you let out a laugh, being interrupted by a shy cough from Sunwoo, who had taken a couple of steps away to give you privacy.

"I'm talking to Han and he asked me what kind of music we're looking for" he explained, pointing to his phone, "in case he can go looking through the songs they have already done or half done, so we don't have to start something new."

"Oh, sure" you said, frowning in a thoughtful gesture. "I'd say something dark, wouldn't you?"

"No doubt" Felix seconded, nodding at your words.

"And since the main choreographer is Hyune, add elegant and heart-wrenching as well" you straightened your figure, watching as Sunwoo typed hurriedly, his fingers speeding over the screen, "if what we're going to narrate is a story of unrequited love, and death, we'd better do something dramatic."

"A hot chocolate!" exclaimed Hyunjin, pushing the door open with his hip, both hands busy with the take away cups. "A hot chocolate for you, and coffee for me."

"Thank you, Hyune" you whispered, leaving a kiss on his cheek as he handed you the cup, again grateful for the warmth emanating from it.

"Looks to me like it has a message, Ynnie" Felix said to you, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, pointing to the letters you could guess under your fingers. You noticed how your cheeks flushed again, moving your hands so you could read all the words, and recognizing Chris's neat handwriting.

"What the hell are you talking about?" exclaimed Hyunjin, rushing over to you to try to read it first. "What does it say?"

"Thought you were really cute, leave my number here" you murmured, starting to crack a big smile, savoring the words as you said them, your heart skipping a beat when you saw that he had drawn a smiley face again and you imagined him, showing his dimples.

Hyunjin had repeated it again aloud, and you heard Felix stifle a gasp, holding his hands to his mouth, his face the vivid image of surprise. Sunwoo had merely let out a laugh and shook his head, as if he didn't believe what had just happened, still holding his phone in his hand. When you looked up, you found disbelief tinting Hyunjin's eyes, one of his hands still holding your arm from when he had rushed to read message over your shoulder.

"Oh," you breathed, causing Felix to snort.

"That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you expect me to say?" you replied, a soft chuckle bubbling up inside you.

"At least say hello to him through the glass," Sunwoo suggested to you, tilting his head in the direction of the café, which was at your back, "the poor guy looks like he wants to turn into a giraffe, from how much he's stretching his neck this way."

You turned your head as soon as you processed what Woo had just said, listening to Hyunjin complaining if that had anything to do with what Felix had said when you had confessed that the barista who had served you was Chris. Just as your friend had said, Chris was resting his hands on the counter, his body almost hovering completely over the surface, trying to figure out what your reaction had been. The moment you made eye contact, and gave him a shy smile, he couldn't help but turn with a jerk, suddenly suddenly busy with a non-existent order.

"Ynnie has a cruush" Felix crooned, causing Hyunjin to open his mouth in a gesture of exaggerated drama that you totally deserved.

"And you weren't planning on telling me anything!" he exclaimed, indignantly.

"She was literally going to tell you now" Sunwoo interjected, helping you balance the tragedy, "but Chris beat you to it."

"I have to tell Changbin" commented Felix, picking up his phone, "now he owes me money."

"You were keeping a bet on them?" asked Hyunjin, pouting. "Did everyone know but me?"

"Hyune, YN doesn't know how to pretend" explained Felix, resting a hand on his shoulder as he reached for Changbin's contact, "Changbin only needed to spend a few minutes with her at the café to figure it out."

While they started a new argument on the topic, you brought the glass to your lips, wanting to taste that drink that you liked so much, and that now that you knew that Chris had prepared it with so much love, it had become your favorite. But as soon as you took a sip and the bitter taste of coffee settled in your mouth, you pushed the glass away, trying to avoid looking into the coffee shop with a confused gesture, and taking the cap off, as if you wanted to make sure that what you had just drunk was definitely not chocolate. But when you breathed in the unmistakable smell of coffee, you noticed how your chest contracted. And suddenly you saw, as if in slow motion, the interaction Chris had had with Hyunjin while you waited, the adoration with which the barista had watched your friend laugh. How he had taken advantage of just when Hyunjin wasn't looking to write the note in his coffee, all those times you had caught them talking and they had fallen silent in your presence. How, yet again, the guy you'd fallen for chose someone else over you, another crush that ended badly, and it pained you to look back and only see a trail of stories in which the only heart that had ended up breaking was yours.

"Hey, let's get going, shall we?" proposed Sunwoo, getting your attention.

You listened as Felix and Hyunjin agreed with him with small nods, but without letting go of their playful bickering, taking off walking towards the apartment where the latter lived with Han Jisung. You had heard them, but all your enthusiasm for the project had vanished, leaving in its place a constant stinging in your eyes, which struggled not to tear up in the middle of the street.

"YN, aren't you coming?" asked Hyunjin, stopping everyone when he realized you weren't with them, that you had stayed behind.

You managed to shake your head, a small movement that was enough to make your friend frown, taking a couple of steps towards you. You tried to compose yourself, ignoring your feelings 一at least for the moment一 and swallowed before formulating the first excuse that came to mind:

"I'm... not feeling too well, guys" you stammered, intensifying your gaze towards Sunwoo, who was the most likely to let you go without asking too many questions.

"But a moment ago you were perfectly fine" Felix muttered, and you noticed his eyes on you, trying to unravel the hidden reasons for your departure.

"I'd rather go home" you said, in a whimper, the warmth of the glass that had comforted you so much a few seconds ago suddenly burning your skin, "you guys can choose the music. It's Lix's idea anyway, it's only fair that he gets to decide."

"Are you sure?" asked Hyunjin, coming up to you, putting the back of his hand on your forehead, like a worried mother would do with her baby.

"Mm-hm" you held out the coffee cup, unable to hold it for much longer, for him to take, and made the mistake of looking at Felix before blurting out a "this is yours" directed at Hyunjin.

You cleared your throat, placing the straps of your totebag more comfortably over your shoulder, and muttered some sort of goodbye before turning and running away, not quite witnessing the way Felix had snatched the cup from Hyunjin to check its contents, and letting out a frustration-laden sigh as he realized what your train of thought had been.

The rest of the afternoon had not been very relevant. You had work to do, like everyone else, and you were also one of those people who wanted to get all your notes done before the Christmas vacations, so you used to spend all December writing again with better caligraphy all the topics you've learned throught the semester. You didn't want to collapse yet, you preferred to keep your head busy, trying to pretend that nothing had happened until you couldn't take any more. In any case, you had already entered that stage where you began to belittle your own thoughts, doubting that your response to the situation had been the right one.

Or, if you stopped to think about it long enough, you could almost see your insecurities swirling around your heart, suffocating you from inside your own chest. That's why you had immersed yourself in the most difficult subjects, praying that filling your head with information would empty it of stupid reasonings. And you had succeeded in your purpose, at least for as many hours as possible, until you heard your phone ring between the couch cushions and snapped out of your self-absorption to answer it.

"Yeah?" you mumbled, your mouth dry from having gone so long without speaking, not paying attention to who was calling you at that hour.

"Ynnie" you heard Felix say, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine. "How are you?"

"How am I?" you repeated, clearing your throat and straightening your posture, as if he could see you and you had to play the role of carefree teenager. "Fine. Well, stressed about finals, but like everyone else, I guess, right?"

The laugh that escaped your lips without permission sounded too fake, and you closed your eyes, wincing, because you knew it wouldn't be believable. You obviously knew Felix wasn't an idiot. He'd probably realized you'd left for a compelling reason, and not exactly because you'd suddenly been struck by a migraine or a tummy ache. You considered lying and saying that you'd had your period the day before; he knew perfectly well that you had a really bad time the first few days. But it wasn't going to be worth it.

"You know that coffee..." he started to explain, his tone totally serious, as if he was telling you off.

"Stop" you interrupted him, standing up, your notebooks and papers strewn across the table, being ignored, as you paced around the room like a caged lion. "I don't want to talk about it, don't bring it up, please."

On the other end of the line, Felix made eye contact with Hyunjin, who was sitting next to him, listening to the whole conversation, and let out a long sigh, "Okay" he agreed, unable to force the conversation, "but remember what I told you, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever" you whispered, trying to avoid having to give an answer. "Did you call me to talk about that?"

"No, actually" he stated, and your lips curved into a sad smile at the emptiness you felt when you realized he had dropped the subject, just as you had asked. You didn't know if it was relief at not having to deal with the situation, or if you were hurt at how quickly he had given up, "It's about the music for the project."

"Do you guys have the song yet?"

"We need you to choose it," you had spoken practically at the same time, the silence that followed the cacophony of voices heavy on your shoulders, and Felix held his breath, waiting for an answer he didn't know if it would come.

"You can send me an audio of the options Jisung has, can't you?" you asked, hoping your friend wasn't asking what you knew he was going to ask.

"He has them on his laptop" he added, without actually explaining what he intended for you to do.

"Aren't you with him?" you frowned in a confused gesture, not understanding what was going through his head, "can't you ask him to put them on?"

"I'm at my place" he confessed, and you heard the movement of clothes as they brushed against each other, you guessed he had gotten up from wherever he was sitting, "Hyune and I came over after talking to Han because he had to meet his group from his AV Tech class. But he's going to stop by later, in case you wanted to come."

"Ah," you breathed, suddenly understanding. Probably what he wanted was for you to get out of your apartment, perhaps intending that you wouldn't be able to resist the pout on Hyunjin's face when you were told that the coffee scene had been a misunderstanding. You could agree to the former... The latter was more complicated.

"We can order your favorite pizza, and then you can stay over," he proposed, taking the risk that such insistence would push you away, "what do you say?"

You contemplated your options. You could use Seungmin, your roommate, as an excuse, but Felix was capable of texting him to confirm your alibi, and no one could resist Felix. Deep down, you knew you were going to end up going, but for a few seconds you allowed yourself to imagine what you could say to him to get him to leave you alone. You took a breath of air, leaning against the hallway wall, and closed your eyes tightly, trying not to think about how much you could come to regret your decision.

"But you have to promise me one thing," you announced, hearing Hyunjin's celebratory whispers on the other end of the line, "we don't talk about what happened this afternoon. Not today, not ever."

Felix snorted, against the idea, considering another way to approach the conversation to get you to stop thinking about it, but since he had shared with Hyunjin the plan he had developed while Han was showing them his music, and the boy was completely lacking in any kind of censure, he couldn't stop himself from exclaiming, "Okay! But you come!"

Felix heard you mutter a farewell before hanging up, and he stared at his friend with annoyance written all over his face. He knew that, although the way he had said it had sounded suspicious, Hyunjin had done it for everyone's sake, but he couldn't help but give him a murderous glare for not letting him have his way. The boy shrugged, unfazed by his antics, and rose from the bed, arching his eyebrow in his direction, ready to have the last word:

"I hope you time it right and this goes well."

When you arrived, fifteen minutes later, wrapped in a thick coat and one of your colorful scarves, but with your pajamas underneath, the pizzas had already arrived. You saw them on the kitchen counter, filling everything with a delicious aroma of bacon and cheese, when Felix opened the door with a smile. You lifted your backpack with a condescending grimace, implying that you had brought a change of clothes and your overnight kit, agreeing to spend the night in his apartment, and he let out a chuckle that almost managed to break the imperturbable facade with which you had decided to wear.

"Hyune is choosing film" he informed you, helping you take off your coat to hang it in the closet.

You tried to ignore the sting you felt in your chest at the memory of the circumstances under which you had said goodbye to Hyunjin, and promised yourself to make it up to him somehow. He didn't deserve to deal with your feelings like that, not when it wasn't his fault that your crush was onto him. So you headed straight for the small living room, where your friend took up the entire length of the couch thanks to his height, and you threw yourself on top him gently, letting him give you a hug as he chuckled awkwardly, his lungs taking in less air than they let out thanks to the extra weight of your body on top of his.

"What do you have in mind?" you asked him, looking at the television screen, and the endless possibilities the audiovisual platform offered.

"I haven't really chosen between Alice in Wonderland and Nightmare Before Christmas" he acknowledged, following your gaze, locating the second one he had mentioned in the bottom corner.

"Mmm, which of the Alice versions are we talking about?"

"The first one" he told you, "the live action one."

"Oh, put that one on, please" you asked, trying to adopt your best pleading face, pouting in the same way you had seen Felix do so many times. You watched as he erased what he had written on the browser and followed your instructions, while you basked in the warmth of the fabric of his hoodie against your cheek, and his arm across your back. You could have stayed there, half asleep, for the rest of the semester, for the rest of the year even, if it hadn't been for how loud the bell had been when it rang, Hyunjin straining underneath you.

"That must be Jisung" you surmised, getting up much to your dismay, "I'll go open the door."

Felix was too busy in the kitchen, hands full of brownie batter, so you walked down the hallway back to the front door, peeking through the peephole to make sure it was Han on the other side. But your breath caught as you recognized the features of the barista you'd seen just hours earlier at 5STAR. You opened your eyes wide, not knowing how to react, and peeked into the kitchen to ask Felix. To your surprise, he was already watching, confirming to you, as soon as you saw his apologetic smile, that this was all his doing.

You decided not to say a single word, and focus on calming your racing heart before facing an interaction with Chris again. The doorbell rang again, jolting you out of your self-absorption with a scare, and you hurried to unlock the door, opening it with a smile that you liked to think it was normal.

"Hello" you said to him, proud that your voice sounded more confident than you felt.

"Oh" he breathed, his surprised eyes roaming over your features, "hi." You saw him flash a beautiful smile, and raise his hand to wave at you, as if he were a little boy excited to meet a new friend. "The lovely girl from table 8."

"That's me" you replied, opening the door wider so he could come in, "thank you for inviting me to the chocolate, I don't know if the croissant was tasty or not because Hyunjin ate it, but I bet it was."

Mentioning your friend's name just to see how he reacted had been a pathetic move, but you hadn't been able to stop yourself. If you could turn back time you would have bitten your tongue, though, after watching his ears blush at your words, proving you right. You swallowed the knot in your throat when you heard his giggles, and he walked into the apartment, taking off his coat.

"I wouldn't say it's my best recipe, but thanks for the confidence" he commented to you, and you took his coat, just as Felix had done with you, to hang it in the closet. You tried not to make it too obvious the way you checked that he was still wearing his café uniform, the sleeves of the black t-shirt tracing his arms. "I'll have to let you try it on another time, then, so you can give me your opinion."

You gave him a strained smile, standing there in the middle of the hallway, and when you saw Hyunjin poke his head out the living room door to see what was going on, you indicated to Chris that Felix was in the kitchen by pointing him to the room, and seizing the opportunity when he went to greet his friend to return to Hyunjin, sitting with your back straight against the backrest, pulling your legs up until your knees were pulled up to your chest.

"You guys are a bunch of assholes" you whispered, staring at the TV screen, not really seeing anything.

"You know how Felix is" Hyunjin answered you, resting his head on your shoulder in an affectionate gesture.

"How am I going to...?"

"YN!" exclaimed Felix going to his room, "Take care of putting the brownies in the oven, please!"

"Oh, my God, I'm going to kill him" you muttered, closing your eyes tightly and dropping your head against the couch.

"Fighting" your friend said to you, giving you a sad smile and a small kiss on your cheek.

You let out a long sigh before getting up, and started to look for Felix around the part of the apartment where you thought his voice had come from, to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing. You guessed he was in the bathroom, the sound of running water audible from outside, and knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Lixie, you know I love you very much" you began, taking a breath to start to tell him off all the decisions he had made so far in his face.

"I know I'm not your favorite person right now, Ynnie," you heard him speak, his voice muffled by the water, so you assumed he was taking a shower, "but there was an incident with the chocolate and I stained everything. Chris is trying to fix it, but I needed to take a shower."

"How much time do I have to set the brownies for?" you asked, surrendering, your shoulders tensing at the thought. The sooner you accepted that you weren't going to get out of interacting with your crush and Hyunjin at the same time, the sooner the night would pass and the sooner you could get back to your normal life.

"I've already left the temperature on! It's only twenty minutes!" he exclaimed, "You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" you muttered, retracing your path to the kitchen, only to find Chris rummaging through the cupboards. "What... what are you doing?"

The boy startled, jumping a little on the spot, and banging his forehead against the corner of the door, which made you choke back a scream and run to him, your hand pressing down over his in the area of the bump and you reacted with a startled "Are you okay? Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" to his whine.

"It's okay, really" he answered you, fully flushed, suddenly aware of how close you were to him.

"No, no, it's not okay at all" you affirmed, taking a couple of steps backwards looking for the fridge with your eyes, only to bend down to grab some ice cubes from the freezer and wrap them in a clean cloth, approaching him again. You grabbed his wrist gently and removed his hand from his forehead, assessing the damage before resting the wrapped ices carefully over the bump. "You sure have a terrible impression of me."

"That's not true" he whispered, cracking a small smile, avoiding your gaze out of embarrassment.

"I'm terribly sorry, really" you repeated, unable to say anything else.

"It could have happened to anyone, don't worry."

"What were you doing, anyway?" you asked, your hands still busy, one with the ice and the other one with your fingers closed around his wrist. When you noticed, you tried to direct him to take the cloth himself.

"From what Felix explained to me, he was so nervous he must have mixed something wrong, and then I don't know how he did it but he ended up with half the batter all over his shirt and arms," he explained to you, leaning on the counter, "I was trying to find chocolate to make it better. I'm not the best pastry chef, but working in the café has taught me something."

You looked over to where the bowl Felix had used was, and saw next to it the mixer you had bought him for his birthday, a few drops of mixture on the surface and more on the floor.

"It was his first time using that mixer" you assumed, trying to stifle a chuckle, "I'm sure he miscalculated the power and it blew all over."

The laughter Chris let out was music to your ears, and when you turned to look at him you realized how close you were to him. There were barely inches between you, and your legs were practically intertwined. You cleared your throat, parting slightly, and made eye contact with him, letting yourself be absorbed by his tiny brown eyes, which matched his dimples, narrowed into two crescent moons.

"There's no more chocolate, by the way" he told you, remembering why you were in that situation.

"I can go out and buy more" you solved, fully intending to go grab your wallet and leave, realizing how whipped you were for him.

"No way, it's my thing, I should go" he rebutted, massaging his forehead from time to time.

"You're hurt" you pointed out, looking for more reasonings, "you're not going to beat me if you pick a fight with me over this".

"Oh, believe me I am" he replied, leaving the ice cubes on the counter and heading for the hallway, "you do what you want but I'm going to get dessert somewhere."

"Then you're not going alone."

You left him looking for his coat in the closet as you went to tell Hyunjin what you were going to do, your friend still lying on the couch scrolling through his phone, probably on TikTok. His face was the mirror of pure surprise and disbelief, before he grinned mischievously. You rolled your eyes and turned your back on him, leaving him there and grabbing your own phone on the way, meeting Chris in front of the door. He had your coat in his hands, and helped you put it on. You then made sure you had your spare keys in your pocket and walked out of the apartment.

"Not to put you down, but... you are aware that you're in your pajamas, right?" asked Chris, his ears blushing as he realized it, slyly tracing the curves of your hips.

"Yeah, it's okay," you said, oblivious, making a nonchalant gesture, "it's not the first time I've done this."

"Where do you plan to go?" you heard him coming down the stairs behind you.

"There's a bakery a couple of blocks from here that closes pretty late, so we'll get there on time" you explained, leading him out of the building.

"So it really isn't the first time you do this" he confirmed, a soft giggle escaping his lips.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun" you said, remembering all the times you'd done it, more than once with your friends, rain or shine, "it's closer to Hyunjin's house, so we usually go from there, but yeah."

"Oh, you guys seem pretty close" he commented.

You tried not to let your wince show, not understanding why you always ended up mentioning the dancer in your conversations with Chris. The time was approaching when he would start asking you questions about Hyunjin to find out more about him, and you didn't know if you would be able to handle it.

"Yes, we have been together for a long time" you confirmed, trying to reveal as little information as possible, "he is someone very dear to me".

"Whenever I see you you're with him" he continued, his shoulder brushing next to yours, "at the café, I mean".

"He's the one in charge of ordering the chocolate for me" you confessed, changing the subject. "You make great chocolate, by the way. I couldn't tell you today, you dropped it off and left."

"You were so focused I didn't want to disturb you" he acknowledged, letting out a soft laugh.

"I guessed as much" you affirmed, noticing the streets you were passing instead of glancing sideways at him, as you were dying to do, "I also noticed the napkin."

"The nap...? Oh!"

"Yeah, oh," you repeated, your laughter awakening butterflies in his stomach, "people don't usually flirt with me like that."

"Fli- ehem, flirt?" he stammered, his face suddenly red with shyness. He hadn't expected you to be so direct with the subject.

"Well, not flirting," you corrected yourself, realizing your mistake, "but you have a lot of rizz."

"You're not the first one to tell me that" he nodded, clearing his throat, "my sister calls me Chrizztopher to mess with me."

"I like your sister, then" you acknowledged, reordering your thoughts to figure out how to phrase your question, and find out finally if you were going crazy or you were just insecure, "but... well, not that I'm complaining, but you still shouldn't waste it on me."

"Waste it? On you?" the conversation was losing all meaning to him, his brow furrowing more and more in confusion.

"Yeah, you know" you tried to explain, trying not sounding as bad as you felt, "focus it all on the person you like, instead of random girls."

"But... I'm already doing that" he protested, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, halting your walk, "the chocolate...".

"The hot chocolate was nice of you, but I'm talking about Hyunjin."

"What the hell does Hyunjin have to do with you?" he exclaimed, incredulous.

"With me?" you asked, your heart stopping at the possibility his words were offering you. "But... the message in the coffee, wasn't it for Hyunjin?"

"What message?" you were looking into each other's eyes, for the first time without any shyness on either side, both trying to understand each other.

"The message on the coffee cup that said you thought Hyunjin was cute" you replied, shoving your hands in your coat pockets, fiddling with your phone case to calm your nerves. "The one with you phone number".

"Did I write the message on the wrong cup?" he lamented, unable to believe his bad luck.

"The wrong cup?" you repeated, unable to process what was happening.

"I've had a crush on you since you first walked into the café" he stated, deciding to tell his biggest secret just so he could make it clear what was going on.

"What?"

"I... Yeah, there's not much more to say" his nervous laugh snapped you out of your shock, blinking to look at him again, this time with a clearer mind. "There's not a thing about you I don't like."

The silence that settled between you, you running your eyes over his features, your heart pounding, him not knowing if it would be a good idea to approach you, or if you needed space at that moment, waiting with his breath caught in his throat, not knowing if his feelings were reciprocated or not. You raised one of your hands, rubbing your forehead, unsure of how to interact after his confession. You decided to clear your throat and let the words flow, after all, even if you made a fool of yourself, it couldn't get any worse.

"Me too" you paused, still hearing your heart thudding in your chest, and then continued, "I have a crush, I mean. On you, yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" you confirmed, more at ease, moving closer to him.

Chris took the initiative and intertwined one of his hands with one of yours, looking at you softly and warmly, his smile provoking the same reactions from you as before, but now with the reassurance of knowing you weren't the only one who felt this way.

"What do you recommend from the bakery then?" he asked, taking you by the waist to continue walking beside you, both of you embracing each other.

And before you even answered you knew you would buy anything he asked for, even if you didn't like it, even if he didn't verbalize his desire to buy it. Only because you were as head over heels for him, as he was for you.

☆ series masterlist !!

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