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hollandorks · 1 year

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matt murdock x original female character

chapter eighteen

Summary: Fleeing from an abusive relationship, Grace St. James goes to the only place she still has a friend: Hell’s Kitchen. She’s forced to live in her car and beg for a job from the law firm Nelson, Murdock, and Page all the while making sure her past doesn’t catch up to her. Enter Matt Murdock: cocky, handsome, and willing to let her live with him for free until she can afford to get a place of her own. Grace is drawn to Matt in a way she’s never been drawn to anyone, causing sparks to fly as they inevitably grow closer and closer.

a/n: phew, made it through being sick and the holidays and now I have time to post again! This chapter is...a lot. Literally. It’s over 10k words. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not! There wasn’t a good place to break it up, and I don’t think anyone would want a cliffhanger where I’d debated ending the chapter, so here you go! A nice, huge chapter!

***This chapter is NSFW. 18+! ***

Series Masterlist

word count: 10,409

She’d been stupid, naive, prone to giving in to his apologies.

She wasn’t that girl anymore.

She took a deep, steadying breath, and finally started working on the paperwork piling up on her desk.

Matt’s POV

The day was over before Matt knew it. He’d been buoyed all day long, his three favorite people in the world surrounding him with laughter and light for the entire day. He hadn’t laughed so hard or so much in…well, a long time.

They managed to all leave at the same time for once, Foggy wordlessly clapping him on the back as they left. Matt knew what his best friend meant with the motion–he was happy for Matt, for Grace.

Karen’s phone chimed as she locked the office door behind them. “Ellison has something.”

“Send it to me,” Matt said immediately.

“Yes sir,” Karen said sarcastically, but her fingers tapped the phone screen anyways.

Matt inserted an earbud to listen to the text Karen had copied and sent to him, frowning as he walked. He was aware of Grace standing next to him, her warmth a steady comfort as she talked to the others.

At the intersection where they usually parted ways, Foggy hesitated for a second after saying goodbye. “Feel free to um…come in late tomorrow,” before he hastily walked away.

Matt could feel Grace’s heart beating more quickly. Her skin temperature rose as she blushed. He loved when she blushed and he unconsciously leaned into the extra warmth.

“Well, if Foggy’s alright with it,” she joked as they crossed the street.

Matt didn’t respond. He was lost in thought. He was already planning on going out as soon as he got back to the apartment. He needed to move quickly if what Ellison had discovered was true.

“Hey, want to stop to eat first?” Grace asked.

“You can pick up something. I’ll meet you at home. I have something to do real quick.” He needed to get home and get to the warehouse now owned by the same security company the men supposedly worked for.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

He turned to face her, expression softening into a smile. “Yeah, just thinking about this case. I’ll see you at home.” The lie rolled off of his tongue easily. He hadn’t meant to lie, it simply…happened. He didn’t want her to worry, and he knew he could be there and back before she even went to bed for the night.

Matt went inside the apartment with guilt weighing him down. He would tell Grace the truth when he got back, he decided. It was too late now. He wanted things to work with her, though, so he needed to be open. She’d already blown him away with her easy acceptance of his secret. Why would this be any different?

The guilt worsened as he changed out of his work clothes.

He shouldn’t have lied. He cursed at himself as he pulled on his armor. He really shouldn’t have lied. He’d worked for the past several years to reach a place of trust and honesty with Foggy and Karen, and he’d sabotaged that work with Grace the first chance he’d gotten.

He paused as he started pulling on his boots and mentally berated himself.

He missed the sound of the door unlocking and opening behind him and froze as someone entered the apartment.

Grace’s scent and familiar heartbeat reached him a split second later and he relaxed a bit.

“Oh,” she said, her heart stuttering in her chest. “I…got you food.”

Matt tilted his head, several expressions flickering across his face before he settled on a carefully neutral one. “Thanks. I…have something to take care of.” The guilt worsened, heavy like lead in his veins.

“Oh,” she said again. “What is it?”

“I’m–I–” he stammered. He’d planned on telling her the truth when he got back, but here she was, catching him in the lie. It was somehow so much worse than he’d thought it would be. He braced himself for the blow, for her anger, for her disappointment.

She sighed. “You’re getting pretty familiar with this hook I keep letting you off of,” she told him. “At least eat real quick before you go do…whatever. Ninja flips.”

Matt cracked a small smile. “I’m sorry, I know I said–”

“It’s fine,” she said before he could dig himself even farther into the hole he was making. “Really.”

“You’re lying,” he said softly. He didn’t need to hear her heartbeat to be able to tell. The tone of her voice was enough. Though her heart was evidence enough, too. “It’s not fine. You’re disappointed. I knew this–”

“Matt, of course I’m disappointed. But it’s really okay. I don’t expect you to drop everything for me.” She held out the paper bag with his food. He could smell the grease and breading from one of his favorite fish and chip places. “Besides, you could have just told me you were going out. You didn’t need to lie.”

He muttered something curses darkly to himself as he took the food. He’d brought this on himself. He always did.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to hear what you said to know it was more–”

“Self-flagellating bullshit.” He sighed. “I just–this always gets in the way of my relationships. Every time. And I’m sorry it does, but this is important, and–”

“Matt, I’m disappointed we don’t get to have sex immediately after we eat, not that you’re going out as Daredevil.”

His head snapped up. “What?” He stopped breathing for a second as he parsed her words.

Grace smothered a laugh. “Was I lying? No. Because it’s okay. I know what you do is important, and I won’t stop you or try to make you feel bad about yourself.” He heard a rustle as she shrugged and a crunch as she popped one of the fries in her mouth. “I may have been with an asshole for a really long time, but even I know you can’t just expect a partner to drop everything they do and tailor their schedules to you and your relationship.”

Matt was still frozen in the same position. She…didn’t care that he was going out as Daredevil. And she wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. After a moment, he laughed, a low sound that she felt more than heard. “You are–constantly surprising me.”

“Refreshing, isn’t it? I already told you all of this. Looks like it only took–” She paused. “–roughly eight hours for you to forget it.”

Matt strode forward and kissed her lightly. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m–I’m trying. I swear. And to show you that I’m trying, I’m going to tell you that I’m going after those assholes who came here last night, to try to get some information out of them.”

“They were released?” she asked. He heard a note of fear in her voice. A trace of moisture in the air as her palms began to sweat. Her heart raced.

Matt’s hands traced her jaw, her neck. “I’m not going to be gone long,” he said. “I promise.” He inhaled her scent even as though it was tainted with fear. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He’d never meant a promise more in his life. He would protect her, no matter what. And what he was about to go do was the first step in that.

She took a deep breath and her heart calmed almost immediately as she breathed. “Sorry, I just–” She shrugged again. Even the sweat on her palms dissipated.

“You’re…weirdly good at that.” Matt listened intently as her body calmed further. He’d noticed her calming herself quickly before.

“I’ve lived with fear for a long time,” she said softly. Anger stirred at her words. Fear of that man that she’d been with. “Now, here. The man behind the counter gave me a funny look when I asked what your order was. He thinks I’m stalking you, probably.”

Matt didn’t comment on what she’d said. All he did was take the bag from her and say, “I won’t be long. I swear. And I’ll try to keep an ear out for anything happening, okay?” He would be on high alert for anything and would do a loop around the neighborhood first, just to make sure nothing suspicious was happening.

“Be careful, please,” she said. Her next words almost knocked him off of his feet. “I still plan to pay you back, you know.”

Matt groaned because he knew exactly what she meant by that. “Stop trying to get me to stay home.”

“I’m trying to get you to come back,” she said.

Matt was quiet for a moment. “I will,” he said earnestly. “Don’t worry about me.”

She kissed him again, and then he was gone, out of the roof door without looking back, slipping the devil’s guise over his face as he went.

–

Despite Grace’s words, guilt plagued Matt as he moved across the city. His gut reaction had been to lie to her about what he was thinking about, about what he was doing, and she’d caught him anyway. He didn’t know how to do this, how to be with someone who knew his secret and accepted it. He still wasn’t entirely convinced that she did accept it.

Matt was convinced that, even though things were starting off well, Grace would eventually come to resent him, to resent his time as Daredevil.

Because he had learned one thing in his years being a vigilante–he didn’t want to stop. He couldn’t. It was as much a part of him as his DNA was. He had come to terms with that fact and it had taken a lot of work to find peace with it.

But God, did he want to do right by Grace. Not just because she’d been with an abusive asshole for years, but because she deserved someone to treat her well. Matt knew he wasn’t up to the job and yet she still wanted to try with him.

The hope that Matt felt overshadowed every other emotion.

Matt’s mind might be a thousand miles away–or, more accurately, about a mile back in his apartment–but his focus was still on those men.

Anger quickly rose on a wave and washed away his thoughts about Grace. Those men had broken into his home to take her. To take her back to her asshole of an ex, the man who had beaten her, the man she was terrified of.

Ellison’s work had been quick and thorough. He’d tracked the security company the men had claimed to be a part of, and had somehow even used his many connections to find out where the men went after being released.

When Matt had gotten the information from Karen, he hadn’t been surprised.

The security company had recently bought the warehouse that Grace had told him about.

No doubt the security company was a shell that Dean Bennett owned.

Matt would dig into all of that later. Getting a paper trail to connect nefarious things to Dean Bennett was a problem for another day.

Right now, he had a score to settle with the men who had broken into his home.

The warehouse was mostly empty. From what he could tell from his perch on the roof closest to the building, they were setting things up to make it look like an actual security company was running it. No wonder it had been empty when he’d first investigated–Dean Bennett was using a legitimate business to cover up his crimes. Or something that was going to look as close to a legitimate business as it could get.

He heard at least six people inside, one of them moaning loudly about being forced to work late. Four of them were the men who’d just been released.

Matt’s blood heated. A calmness washed through him as he straightened from his perch.

He was going to get some answers.

It was easy enough to find the breaker box for the first floor of the warehouse. It wasn’t quite sunset yet so he needed all the darkness he could get. He’d been in a rush to get to the men before they disappeared.

He could hear cursing from most of the men as the warehouse was doused in shadows.

The first man went down quickly and quietly. Matt stashed him in the office, which was now actually being used as an office.

The second man came to investigate. Matt couldn’t believe his luck–out of six men, the first two he took out weren’t from the group who’d broken into his apartment. He pulled the second man’s unconscious body into the office too, divested them of their guns and phones, and stepped back out into the shadows.

He focused on the echos in the building to locate the other four. Two were talking amongst themselves, completely unconcerned. A third was headed his way.

He almost missed the fourth, who had snuck up behind him while he’d been taking care of the first two.

The first gunshot was so close it rang in Matt’s ears. He’d moved right before it had gone off, the whisper of air moving around the barrel alerting him to the man’s presence just in time. His aim was true and his fist connected with the man’s wrist. The gun clattered to the ground.

Matt struck again, quickly, knocking him out as another gunshot rang out from behind him. He ducked and rolled out of the way.

The three remaining men surrounded him.

Anger rose in him again, blinding him momentarily. These men had broken into his home and had been trying to take Grace back to the man who had hurt her for years.

Matt shouted as one of the men got a good hit to his ribs as he whirled and kicked at another. Four down, two to go. He received another blow, to his mouth this time, and he spat blood without losing momentum. He was too angry to feel the pain and simply used it to fuel his anger.

There was only one man left standing, his arm hanging at his side, shoulder dislocated.

“What do you want with Grace St. James?” Matt demanded. He could have gone about it more carefully, but he didn’t want to. It didn’t matter–he wanted word to get out that the devil of Hell’s Kitchen was protecting Grace. Then maybe that asshole Dean Bennett would think twice before trying anything else.

“Who?” the man asked, clearly confused. He wasn’t lying either, wasn’t faking.

Matt paused, fists still raised. “The girl you were sent to kidnap. What did you want with her?”

When the man didn’t answer, Matt hit him. Then he kicked his knees out from under him and grabbed him by the shirt. He leaned in close, letting the guise of the devil stare the man in the eyes. He could scent the man’s fear as clearly as if it were his blood, pouring from his body in waves.

“What were you going to do with the girl?” Matt shook the man.

“I–I don’t know, I swear! We just received an address and a payment. We were supposed to bring her back here and wait for the man to come back! That’s all! He gave us a cover story and bailed us out, I don’t know anything else I swear.”

“Who hired you, then?”

The man coughed and Matt scented blood. A few of the man’s teeth were loose from the blows Matt had delivered.

“I don’t know his name, the payment came from a shell company. He gave us a burner number, that’s all! We don’t care where the money comes from, we just–”

Matt’s fist cut off any more words. He dug through the unconscious man’s pockets and took the cell phone.

Now he had to figure out how to connect it all to Dean Bennett.

Matt went home with disappointment lodged in his chest. He’d hoped for more tangible answers to take back to Grace.

His blood warmed at the thought of Grace waiting for him back at the apartment, at not having to hide. As he leapt over rooftop after rooftop, Matt allowed himself a small smile.

Grace’s POV

True to his word, Matt wasn’t gone long. He was back within two hours. Grace was sitting on the couch, a book in hand that she wasn’t reading, when the rooftop door clicked open.

As soon as she heard it she jumped up. Matt was…limping as he came down the stairs.

“Are you okay?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. He waved a hand at her as he made his slow way down the stairs.

“Fine,” he said gruffly. “Just took a couple of hits.”

“How the fuck did you ever sneak around like this with me living here?” she asked as he toed off his boots at the bottom of the stairs and then let his helmet thunk to the ground. She tried not to ogle him in the Daredevil armor as he moved about the apartment. But God, it was hot.

“I waited until you were asleep,” he said, as if it should be obvious. “And when you caught me a couple of times, I lied. Sleepwalking, insomnia…”

Grace made a face. “Oh. Right. I forgot about that. I was so worried you’d sleepwalk right off the roof, too.”

He grinned at her. “You’re a pretty heavy sleeper, you know,” he said as he fumbled at the back of his neck for something. There was a slight noise, and then he was tugging a zipper down, revealing the muscled expanse of his back.

Grace couldn’t help the little breath that escaped. “Please tell me you’re not wearing underwear under that thing.” Her blood heated even further. She’d had a bit of a crush on Daredevil ever since her first encounter with him, and knowing he was Matt, and knowing what Matt could do with his mouth and his hands…

Matt coughed and laughed. “Sorry to disappoint. It chafes pretty bad without it.”

He turned to face her and she gasped for a different reason. One side of his ribs was bruised. She noticed, too, that the corners of his mouth were bloody.

“Jesus,” she said. “You said you were fine!” Matt tried to brush past her to the kitchen but she caught his arm. He sighed but stopped. She grabbed his jaw and tilted his head to the light, making sure he didn’t have any hidden head wounds or anything. Then she stooped to look more closely at his ribs. “So does ‘fine’ mean you actually got the shit beat out of you? Your ribs might be broken or something, Matt.”

“You should ask Foggy about what I looked like when he found out I was Daredevil,” Matt said in a dry voice. “This is nothing. I would call it a typical night, but it’s actually a lot better than that.” He tilted his head slightly and pressed his hand lightly against his ribs. “Nah, they’re not broken. Just bruised.”

“How can you know for sure?” she asked. “Pain levels?”

“No, I–someone once told me I have x-ray fingers.”

Grace snorted. “Really?”

Matt grabbed her left hand and brushed his thumb across her skin. “I can tell this wrist was broken. It didn’t heal quite right, either. The bones shift against each other more than the ones in your right hand.”

Grace yanked her hand away as if shocked. “A parting gift from my ex.” All of the heat had left her blood at the reminder.

Matt gently took her left hand again and placed a soft kiss right where the fucked up bones were. Her pulse stuttered. He was half-in his Daredevil outfit and treating her as if she was made of glass, something delicate to be taken care of. The contradiction between the two things did something strange to her that she didn’t dislike.

“We’re going to take him down,” Matt said in a quiet voice.

Grace had to glance away from his intense expression. “I’m not so sure it can be done.”

“Don’t say that.”

Grace scoffed. “Matt, the stuff he’s been getting away with, for years…He’s powerful. He has connections. He’s basically untouchable. I mean, those guys already got released–”

“Grace, did you ever hear about a man named Wilson Fisk?” Matt interrupted. His fingers were drawing distracting but soothing circles on her hand.

“Of course. You guys had him locked up, he got out, caused chaos, and then put him away again.” She shrugged. “The FBI was even involved or something. Everyone heard about it.”

“Trust me, I doubt this guy is as powerful as Fisk ever was. And we got rid of him. For good. He’s locked up so tightly he doesn’t see another living person except when they drop off his meals through a flap in the door.” Matt raised his eyebrows. “Do you understand what I’m telling you? It might not be easy, but it can be done.”

She sighed and rubbed her free hand over her eyes. “Okay, okay.”

“And if I can’t get to him as Matt Murdock, then Daredevil might have to make a special trip outside of Hell’s Kitchen.”

“Okay. I’m still not convinced we shouldn’t just send a hitman after him, but…Okay.” She squeezed his shoulder and stepped around him to get an icepack from the freezer. She gently held it to his bruised ribs. Matt’s large hand covered hers. She cocked her head as her words brought back a memory. “Who is Mank Trastle?”

Matt gave a loud, surprised laugh. “Well, do you remember the Punisher?”

Grace’s mind was blank for a long moment. Then it clicked. “Oh. Frank Castle? Wait–Karen’s friends with him? Wait–isn’t he dead?”

“Yes, Frank Castle. And I don’t know if I’d call it a friendship, but they’ve helped each other out. And no…he’s not dead.” Matt’s hand tightened as he gently extricated himself from her and went towards the bedroom. “God, there’s so much you don’t know–”

“Well, I mean…I at least know the basics right?” She trailed after him as he kicked the suit off the rest of the way. She watched his muscles with fascination but her eyes kept snagging on the rapidly darkening bruise on his side. God, he looked good in nothing but his underwear. But she really needed to stop focusing on that. “You’re Daredevil, and a lawyer, and you put Fisk away, and Frank Castle isn’t dead.”

“I also fought ancient ninjas and had a skyscraper dropped on top of me, pretended that I didn’t make it out alive, and tried to kill Fisk before my better nature won out.” Matt’s voice was bitter as he yanked open a drawer and pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

Grace’s eyes snapped from her inspection of his ass to his face. “You–what–a skyscraper?”

Matt sighed tiredly and sat on the edge of the bed. One of his hands dragged across his face. His knuckles were bruised. She was pretty sure it was from the night before. “I…want to preface this by saying I'm not trying to go through the self-flagellation thing. But I always struggled with this…darkness in me. And there was a time that I wanted to give up. To give in and let Matt Murdock disappear. I finally got to a place where I accepted that I want to be both, that I have to be, but that darkness still…it still consumes me sometimes. And I want to be up front about that with you. So you know what you’re getting into.”

Grace sat next to him, their shoulders touching. “Do you know what I was thinking today as I was going through all of those photos, looking for evidence to back up the absolute worst years of my life?”

“What’s that?”

“That that life…it was nothing but shadows with brief flashes of light. And no matter how hard I try to forget it, it’s impossible. That time of darkness is…is a part of me. A part I might always struggle with. There’ll still be times where a certain scent makes me panic, or when a man raises his hand in a particular way that makes me think he’s going to hit me, or times when I wake up thinking I’m back inside those shadows.” She reached out for Matt’s hand. “I’m not saying I know what it’s like to be you, or deal with the kind of darkness you deal with…but I get it, to an extent. My eyes are wide open, Matt.”

He blew out a breath and squeezed her fingers. “I don’t understand,” he finally said, slowly, as if he was choosing his words very carefully, “how I found someone like you.”

“I believe I came into your office and begged for a job.” She bumped his shoulder with her own.

“I mean it,” he said in a low voice. “I already told you, Daredevil has always complicated my relationships in one way or another. I don’t want that with you, but every time I bring it up, you shrug it off.”

“I’m not shrugging it off,” she said. “I accept it. Respect it, even. I kind of even had a crush on Daredevil.” Her face flushed even though she wasn’t exactly embarrassed of the fact.

“That’s not what I meant.” He made a frustrated noise. “I–When Foggy found out, it almost killed him. And me. Our friendship was obliterated, and it took years to get to a good place. Sometimes I can hear in his voice that he still doesn’t understand, that he still doesn’t necessarily like it. And then when I tell you, you immediately just–don’t care. Not that you don’t care, but it’s like it wasn’t a huge deal. And that’s–a lot for me.”

“I always thought Daredevil was kind of hot,” Grace mused. She hated the idea that his longest, most meaningful friendship had barely survived the truth of him being Daredevil. But she took comfort knowing they were in a good spot now, at least. So she joked to lighten the burden for him, if only a little. “This is like a dream come true for me.”

Matt laughed and shook his head. “Joke all you want–it’s a big deal for me, and I just–I–appreciate it. I don’t want to mess this up.”

“So you keep saying. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know if you mess up, just like I hope you let me know if I mess up. That’s what a relationship should be.”

“Is that what this is?” Matt asked, a different note of emotion entering his voice. He turned his head as if to look her in the eyes. “A relationship?”

Grace’s heart fluttered. “I’d like it to be.”

“I would too.”

She reached up and cupped his jaw to tilt his face towards her. She kissed him carefully, aware of the blood she’d seen on his lips earlier. He made a small noise of protest when she pulled away. “As much as I’d really, really like to continue this, your ribs are busted and I don’t want to make it worse.”

Matt sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay earlier.”

“It’s alright, Matt, I promise. We should probably go on a proper date first anyways.” She smiled at him and couldn’t help but press another kiss to his lips.

His thumb traced the line of her jaw. She shivered at the touch. “Mm. You’re right. I’m usually much more of a gentleman than this.”

“Trust me, I’m very okay with you not being a gentleman.” The night after Josie’s flashed through her mind, Matt on his knees painted in red light.

“Is that right?” Matt’s smile turned cocky. She made herself look at the bruise on his side to remind herself why she couldn’t jump him right then and there. Because she really, really wanted to. She even debated, briefly, asking him to put the Daredevil suit back on, then shook the thought away.

“It is. But your ribs are busted, and we didn’t get much sleep last night. And I–want to do this right as much as you do.” She really did–she wanted it all with him. The dates, the getting to know each other, the late nights spent talking about nothing. All that, and more.

He kissed the top of her head. “My ribs aren’t busted. Just bruised.”

She rolled her eyes. “Same difference. One wrong move and they’re broken, and the mood is killed. And I really don’t want to have to be careful.” She shoved the thoughts of what it would be like to lose control with him away from her mind.

Matt chuckled. “I guess you have a point. In that case, I’m going to take a shower.”

Grace couldn’t help the images that flashed through her mind, unconsciously clenching her thighs together. Down girl, she told herself. She was trying not to sleep with him, damn it, but her mind was doing its best to rile her up anyways.

Matt paused, his hand gripping the bathroom door frame so tightly it creaked. His nostrils flared, and she realized that he knew exactly what just went through her mind because of his enhanced senses.

She flopped back on the bed with a groan. “Sorry,” she said, voice muffled from her hands covering her face. Another thought occurred to her. “God, you know every single time I have a sex dream don’t you?” She made a face, wincing.

Matt’s jaw flexed. “Yeah,” he said tightly after a moment. “Yeah, I do. But I swear I try really hard not to notice.”

“God, that’s embarrassing. I swear I’m not a sixteen year old with raging hormones, I just–”

“It’s alright,” he said. He hadn’t moved a muscle. Even worse, he was still only in sweatpants, and the vision of him without his shirt on was really doing a number on her. “I–don’t usually notice so much but I’m so…in tune with you it’s hard not to…notice. Not to…react.” She noticed that his face was flushed, his breathing faster than it had been, that hand still gripping the door frame like a lifeline.

Oh, she thought.

Matt Murdock was really turned on, and was trying to act like he wasn’t.

She bit her lips so hard she tasted blood. Matt still hadn’t moved. Her thighs clenched unconsciously again.

Voice strained, he said, “You’re making it really hard to take things slow, Grace.” His voice was edged in gravel, scraping her skin raw as the words danced up her spine.

Grace stood and walked very slowly towards him. Did she imagine it, or did the wood of the door frame creak as his muscles tensed even more? Matt looked like a man about to snap.

And Grace wanted to make him snap. Wanted him to lose control, like he’d done to her the other night.

There were things she could do that didn’t involve anything near his bruised ribs, after all. She turned the thought over in her mind. There were definitely ways she could pay him back without him having to move a muscle. Things she really wanted to do.

She pressed her palms to Matt’s muscled back. A tremor went through his frame as her hands slid up his spine to his shoulders. His skin was so warm it was almost hot. One of her hands grabbed loosely at the back of his neck while the other trailed down his arm and down to the hand gripping the wall like it was holding him up. Or holding him back.

“I thought you were going to shower, Matt,” she said in a husky voice she barely recognized.

“I was,” he said thickly. She felt him swallow hard. She let her hands explore every inch of his back and shoulders and arms that wasn’t bruised. Another tremor went through him and she heard him exhale shakily. She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. She wondered if stuff like this–a lover’s touch–was something his senses amplified even more.

She wanted to find out, but now wasn’t the time.

She gripped his hips lightly, then stepped back and ducked under his arm.

“What are you doing?” he asked, voice so tight she knew he was barely hanging on by a thread.

Grace looked back at him over her shoulder. She pulled her shirt over her head. “If you’re not going to shower, I am.” She turned the shower on so the water would warm up.

She shimmied out of her pants then unhooked her bra. Matt still hadn’t moved. She could hear him breathing heavily behind her. She pretended she didn’t notice the effect she was having on him, even though he could tell how fast her heart was racing, how aroused she already was.

Her underwear were lace again, a nice black pair–not that Matt would know about the color. But she was certain he could hear the difference in material as she very slowly slid those off, too. Matt gasped and she knew she was right. He knew her underwear were sexy, even if he couldn’t see them.

She stepped into the warm spray of water and let out a little sigh. The water really felt nice. She closed her eyes and brushed her hands over her breasts, down her stomach, to her thighs.

When she opened them, she saw Matt through the glass door of the shower. He’d finally let go of the door frame and seemed to be fighting with himself.

Grace touched herself and was rewarded by his head snapping towards her. With a noise of frustration she could hear over the water, Matt stripped off his sweatpants and kicked them to the side. She saw how much he strained against his underwear. Her mouth went dry as he got rid of those, too, and she was finally rewarded with the sight of Matt Murdock entirely naked. His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

In her haste, she hadn’t turned the bathroom light on. Matt was illuminated through the open door from behind by a soft magenta coming through the windows. Grace stared at him, and knew he knew she was staring. His head tilted to the side, hearing what the sight of him did to her, and that goddamn cocky smile spread slowly across his face. Her eyes dipped down and her entire body flushed at the sight of just how aroused he was.

With the edges of his naked body framed in purple, Matt stalked towards her slowly, purposefully.

“I thought you wanted to take things slow,” he said, the words half a growl. He looked almost…predatory. But instead of being afraid, Grace was even more turned on. Her heart was racing so fast she felt a little faint.

“I’m just taking a shower,” she said, but the innocent words were breathless with anticipation. “I never said we were having sex.”

Matt stepped into the water, closer and closer until her back hit the cold tile wall. She bit back a gasp. She glanced up at Matt, water cascading over his hair and face and his deliciously muscled shoulders.

One of his hands moved, and she tensed at the anticipation of his hands on her body.

When he stepped back, she blinked in surprise. Matt squirted some shampoo into his hand and started washing his hair as if nothing was happening, despite the raging hard on he so obviously had.

Grace frowned, then reached for the bar of soap. She lathered up her hands and smoothed them over Matt’s shoulders. He froze again. She said nothing, working her way down across his abs and around to his back, careful to keep just enough space between them that no other part of their bodies touched. She was careful, too, to avoid the bruises on his side. She was determined to make him feel only pleasure, no pain.

He was breathing heavily again, his eyes closing as her soapy hands brushed his hips and down the front of his thighs. She couldn’t help it–her hands slid around to his back and then lower, gripping his ass quickly before letting go. Matt jolted.

“Sorry,” she said breezily. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Is that the only thing?” he asked, still cocky and sure of himself.

In response, she reached out and brushed across his cock. His breath stuttered out of him, a pained noise coming from his throat.

She stepped closer, their bodies pressing together, skin sliding against skin, as her hand grabbed him firmly.

“No,” she murmured. “That’s not the only thing.” Her hand started pumping him as the other continued exploring his muscles. His hand smoothed down her back and grabbed her ass. She nipped a spot on his neck as her hand kept moving very slowly around his length. “I promised I’d pay you back, didn’t I?”

Matt’s mouth opened, but he seemed incapable of speech as her other hand joined the first. His free hand smacked wetly against the wall as his body shuddered.

Grace had never been so turned on, except for maybe when Matt had been on his knees in front of her.

“Last night,” Grace said, then moaned as Matt cupped her breast. “This is what I was imagining. That you had joined me.” He panted, breath hot on her neck before he kissed her there, right where her pulse hammered beneath her skin. “I imagined–Fuck.” He’d lightly pinched her nipple, a jolt of electricity sparking down her entire body. “I imagined that night when we kissed on the counter. I imagined doing that again, but naked. You fucking me there.”

Matt kissed her, mouth open, his tongue demanding. The hand that had been on the wall gripped her neck. She didn’t think someone grabbing her neck could be so fucking hot, but she grew even more turned on.

But she had a plan in mind, first.

Grace pulled away with the kiss with a desperate gasp, extricating herself from Matt, who almost whined. It took all of her willpower, but she managed to step away from him.

He went still as she got to her knees. She looked up at him, blinking water from her eyes. His hand fumbled in the air before it came to rest on her shoulder, like he couldn’t tell where she’d gone. She didn’t think he was breathing.

“You don’t–” he murmured, but his words cut off with a loud moan as her lips wrapped around him. His other hand tangled in her hair. Matt cursed as she moved slowly, her tongue tasting him. God, she never knew that this could be so fucking hot, either. She’d never enjoyed doing this before, but it was almost as good as if he’d been touching her, pleasing her. Her thighs clenched together again and Matt’s hips jerked in response. She choked lightly and he tried to back away, but she gripped his ass with both hands and held him there.

“Grace,” he choked out. “Fuck.”

The way he said her name made her moan around him and his hips jerked again, fucking her mouth like he couldn’t help it. She felt like she could come just from pleasing him. She remembered Matt on his knees, his mouth on her, the desperate noises he’d made. She understood perfectly how much he’d enjoyed it, enjoyed watching her come undone from just his mouth, because that’s how she felt at that moment.

Matt’s movements became quicker, more erratic, and he suddenly half-shoved her away.

His hands lightly cupped her face and he drew her upwards to kiss her roughly. His hands were all over her, like he couldn’t get enough of her, of touching her. The water poured over them, making their skin slip and slide against each other.

He spun her around and pinned her against the wall so quickly she gasped. The tile was freezing against her aching breasts, a delicious contradiction to the heat of Matt as he pressed his chest against her back and sloppily kissed down her neck and across her shoulder. One of his hands kneaded her breast while the other slid down, down, down.

The first brush against her clit made her jerk forward, but Matt’s hand on her chest kept her in place, pressed tightly against him. His cock was pressing against her hip and ass.

A desperate noise fell from her lips as Matt’s fingers slipped into her.

“Fuck,” he said again as he felt exactly how turned on she was. The hand on her breast came up to loosely hold her throat and the sensation sent another bolt of pleasure through her. She’d had no idea she liked that until he did it. And the fact that it was Matt, that she knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t hurt her, made it an even headier sensation.

His fingers worked relentlessly, and she came hard around within minutes. Matt moaned as she clenched around him. She shuddered through the orgasm, stars in her eyes, her body tensing and relaxing as she came down from the high.

She whirled around and went straight back to her knees. Staring up at him, she said hoarsely, “I’m supposed to be paying you back.” Then she took him into her mouth again and set a relentless pace, her tongue moving as she took him deep into her throat, one hand wrapping around the base.

“Grace, I’m–” he tried to say, trying to pull away, but she only took him deeper, faster, and he came with a sharp cry. His hips jerked as she tasted him, almost coming again from just the sounds Matt was making. He was shaking as she used her tongue to keep him clean.

When he finally stilled, she released him with a wet pop and then stood on shaky legs. Matt leaned his forehead against hers, panting as he tried to catch his breath.

“I can’t stay away from you,” he said in a low voice.

“Then don’t,” she said, a challenge. Matt kissed her, lingering against her.

“I mean it,” he said. “No one has ever made me so crazy like you. No one’s made me lose control like you. Not even–”

It’s the way his words cut off that doused her in a cold chill as if the hot water had run out. Matt moved away, just enough, his expression troubled. Grace picked up her shampoo. Might as well finish the shower, she thought, though apprehension curled through her limbs and weighed her down.

“Not even…?” she asked carefully. She made sure to keep her expression light, her heart steady, employing years of techniques she’d used to keep calm in terrifying situations. This wasn’t terrifying though–it was something else, an emotion she wasn’t familiar with. She ducked her head into the water to rinse out the suds.

“Elektra.” Her name was a resigned sigh on Matt’s lips. He reached out before she could condition her hair, taking the bottle from her. Grace closed her eyes as his long fingers worked gently through the tangles. She hummed. The gesture was sweet, intimate, even more so than what they’d just done.

“Ah,” Grace said as he worked the substance into her hair. “She the one who gave you the pink silk pajamas?”

Matt huffed a laugh. One of his hands steadied her shoulder as he guided her head under the water to rinse. “No, though she would have been the one to buy me something expensive like that.”

“What happened between you? Sorry–you just said before…” She bit the corner of her lip. “You said before that Daredevil always came between you and your relationships.”

Matt didn’t say anything. He picked up the bar of soap–someone knowing that she’d been using his scentless soap instead of her own–and started lathering her body. His hands kneaded tight muscles, and she almost moaned at the sensation. It wasn’t sexual, but like him washing her hair, it was intimate.

Right when she assumed he wouldn’t answer the question, Matt said, “She died.”

Grace sucked in a breath. “Oh, Matt. I’m sorry.”

“I–It was complicated. We weren’t…together at that time. But we could have been, if things had been different.” There was a tortured look on Matt’s face. She could see the pain in the tightness in his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. She didn’t want to press but the urge to know was almost overwhelming. It was all over his face, the love he’d had for this woman, the pain he still felt over her death. It was consuming her, this new, unknown emotion, dark and twisted and sharp in her gut.

“I’m sorry,” she said again as the soap washed from her body.

Matt switched off the water and reached out for their towels. “I should probably…tell you about her.”

Grace suddenly had a name for the emotion.

Jealousy.

Matt touched her cheek with the back of his hand. He followed her into the bedroom. Her heart had picked up a bit and she hated that he could hear it. She didn’t want to care so much about a dead ex of Matt’s, but she did.

“Only if you want to,” she said as she pulled out some pajamas. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Matt stood there, bathed in soft blue light from the sign outside, his head tilted to the side, towel slung low on his hips. Listening to her heart. To her lie. The light shifted to a darker blue. Water glistened across his chest.

“You want me to,” he said, and it wasn’t a question or even an accusation. Merely a fact he was stating.

Grace made a frustrated noise. “Stop–eavesdropping,” she said, which earned her half a smile. “Of course I do, but I respect your boundaries.”

“I want to tell you about her,” he said. At the words, something within her eased and settled.

“Then you have to put clothes on first.” He seemed confused, a little wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. “You’re too distracting,” she said, waving a hand at his body.

Matt chuckled, but went to the dresser and pulled out underwear and a t-shirt. The droplets on his skin darkened the material of his shirt after he tugged it on. “Better?”

“Much better.”

Grace went back into the bathroom to finish her nighttime routine. Matt followed her and leaned against the open door, his arms crossed. She didn’t press, merely waited for him to tell her what he was going to tell her.

“Elektra and I met in college,” Matt said after a couple of minutes. “We met at a fancy party Foggy and I were crashing. I left with her in a car she’d stolen, even though she was the daughter of diplomats and could have bought any car she wanted. She was…chaotic. Full of life. Unafraid. She had a mean streak, a sense of darkness and violence in her that took me a long time to see. I stopped going to class and almost flunked out. Our relationship ended with her taking me to the house of the man who’d ordered the death of my father. She tried to get me to kill him.”

Grace’s breath hissed through her teeth in a sharp inhale. Questions brimmed at the tip of her tongue but she kept silent.

“And when I didn’t give in, she left me.” Matt laughed without humor. “She left me, and it broke me. Foggy was the one who picked up the pieces, really. And then one day she showed up in my apartment here after Karen and I had gone on a date.” Matt rubbed at his hair with one hand, flinging water everywhere. Grace watched him, rapt, leaning back against the bathroom counter. “She tricked me into helping her, into getting involved with the Hand, and doing the one thing I’d sworn never to do–join Stick’s stupid holy war.”

“I’m sorry,” Grace said, unable to help herself. “I just–Stick? The Hand?”

Matt hummed and took a deep breath. “Sorry there’s–so much you don’t know. I don’t want to overwhelm you, but so many of the things that have happened to me, especially since becoming Daredevil, are all tied together. Stick is the blind man who trained me as a kid after I lost my dad. He taught me to fight, to use my abilities, and to do the two together. He actually trained Elektra too, but I didn’t know that until later. The Hand was…remember how I mentioned ancient ninjas? The Hand was this secret, ancient organization that Stick was training me to fight.”

“That is…so you are a ninja?” Grace decided to joke, because maybe that would ease the shadows that were so clear on Matt’s face. He was in pain still, from all of this, from everything that had been done to him. She hadn’t missed that he said this Stick guy had trained him as a kid.

“Something like that.” Matt’s jaw twitched.

“Elektra was a ninja, too?”

“Something like that,” he said again, softer. “Stick showed up in the midst of all of that, convinced that I had to join his cause with Elektra against the Hand. So I gave her a choice. To do things my way, to be with me, to be good, or lose me and fight in Stick’s war and give in to the violence inside herself. Because she–she enjoyed killing, and when I realized that–” He swallowed hard. “I knew she could be better, and she chose me. She and I understood each other, understood the violence that drove us both. And I wanted her to see that she could choose that path–to fight, but to do it in a way that wouldn’t break her. But the Hand–the Hand killed her when we fought them, before we could find out how things could be.”

Grace covered her mouth with one hand. To love like that, and to lose someone you loved, someone who chose you over everything they’d ever known–she could see why Matt said he struggled with that darkness, and still struggled. “What happened to the Hand?” she asked after a moment. “Earlier you said the Hand was.”

“Well,” Matt said slowly. “This is where it gets hard to believe.”

“Harder to believe than an ancient organization of ninjas and you being a blind ninja?” she asked skeptically. “It can’t be much harder to believe than that.”

Matt walked away and sat at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, head bent as if praying. It was her turn to lean in the doorway, watching him lay himself bare to her in a wholly different way.

“The Hand brought Elektra back,” he said so quietly she was sure she’d misheard.

“Back?” she repeated. “Like, they saved her after that fight?”

Matt was shaking his head before she was finished. “No. We buried her. We had a small funeral, Stick and I. And then–I don’t know, they did some kind of ancient ritual or magic or–I don’t know what. But they brought her back somehow, without her memories, turned her into a perfect weapon they called the Black Sky.”

Grace shut her mouth quickly when she realized it was hanging open. “I–You’re right, it’s pretty unbelievable.”

Matt scoffed. “Yeah. It is. I saw it–well, experienced it–and I still couldn’t believe it. I held her as she died, and then, weeks later, she was trying to kill me.”

“But what happened to the Hand? And she–you said she died.” Grace rubbed at her temples. “I’m sorry, it’s just–”

“No, I know how it sounds. Trust me. The Hand built a skyscraper at Midland Circle.”

“Oh,” Grace said as several pieces clicked into place at the name. She remembered seeing the collapse of the building all over the news. It had been sensationalized, although no one had been reported dead. For weeks, there had been debates of terrorism, a coverup, versus what they said had happened, which was a fault line causing the collapse. “Is that…the skyscraper that almost killed you?”

“Mm. Yeah. I’m getting to that part. Long story short, I had the help of some…other people with abilities to fight the Hand throughout all of this. Elektra killed Stick and kidnapped Danny Rand–”

“Danny Rand?” Grace said. “Sorry, I swear I don’t mean to interrupt but–billionaire Danny Rand?”

“Yeah. He’s a ninja too, basically, but there’s more to it that isn’t relevant to this.” Grace blinked at Matt as he spoke, dazed. Danny Rand was also a ninja, which seemed less believable than Matt being a blind ninja. “They took him to Midland Circle, and what they were trying to accomplish was going to obliterate the city. So we went to rescue Danny and to stop them. They planted bombs to collapse the building. We went forty stories below the building to get Danny…and I sent the others out.”

There was another long pause. Grace thought that, even if Matt had sight, he wouldn’t be seeing what was right in front of him. His gaze and mind were far away, down below that building and whatever had happened down there.

“I didn’t expect to make it out alive, but I had to try. Elektra recognized me, and I had to try to appeal to her, get her to see that she could be good. With me. But–” His voice cracked slightly on the word. “The bombs went off, and the building came down. I–somehow, I made it out, but her body was never found. And the Hand…the rest of them were wiped out down there, too.”

Grace sank on to the bed next to him. She hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jesus, Matt,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry for everything you went through.”

Matt bobbed his head in a nod. “Yeah. Me too.”

“I can’t believe–I mean, the woman you loved died twice, a building fell on your head, and–and you’re still living. You aren’t just existing, you’re living. You’re…if not happy, you’re getting there. You…amaze me.” Her gaze was hungry as it roved over him. Matt Murdock was a walking, talking miracle. A man who had faced every kind of darkness, who had faced death, and had come out on top.

“Some days, yeah,” he said. He blinked and seemed to surface from the memory as if coming from deep water. “Foggy and Karen–they’re the ones who got me to see the light again, so to speak. After Fisk was released, we tried and tried to take him down and it didn’t work. And that darkness–the very same darkness that made me want to die in that building–it consumed me. I was going to kill him. Up until the very last moment, I was going to kill him. But I didn’t. And Foggy and Karen–they saw that goodness within me, and they kept me from going down that path.” He swallowed hard again.

Her hand slid down his arm to lace her fingers with his. “I’m so, so glad.”

He tilted his head to face her. “Me too,” he said softly. “Because it all led to you.”

Her breath caught. “It’s–I’m not that special.” The words stuttered out of her as warmth settled in her cheeks. She wasn’t like this Elektra woman, who Matt said had been like him, who had understood him. Grace was just…no one. A girl who’d been dating the wrong guy, who’d ended up in Matt Murdock’s orbit by sheer chance.

“Grace,” Matt said, her name a soft protest. “Do you not remember how this conversation started?”

She blinked. All her mind conjured up was what they’d done in the shower and then his gentle hands washing her as he talked. “I’m sorry, the only thing coming to mind is…inappropriate.”

He flashed her a grin but a hint of the shadows was still there. “I was telling you that no one had ever made me crazy or out of control like you do. Not even Elektra.”

He sounded so earnest–so convicted–as he said it that she wanted to believe him. But a woman like Elektra, a woman he’d tried to save twice, who he said had understood him like no one else had understood him…It was hard to believe that she could come anywhere close in comparison.

“Please tell me what you’re thinking,” Matt finally said. “I can’t stand hearing what your thoughts are doing to your body and not knowing.”

“I’m–I’m just normal, Matt. I’m nothing special. I’m not rich, I’m not a ninja, I’m not some secret badass who understands you on a deep level.” Humiliation washed over her like hot oil. It choked her. It stole her breath. “I just…ended up begging you for a job by chance.”

“Grace.” Her name was almost a prayer. She closed her eyes. She fought the emotion rising within her, because it was so familiar to her–she wasn’t good enough, and she never would be. Matt touched her chin. “You don’t have to be rich or a ninja or a secret badass for me to like you. For you to be special. I’ve learned how kind and good you are, and that’s attractive to me.”

She made a soft noise of protest that was halfway a scoff. “Besides,” she said, ignoring him. “Is it–even a good thing that I make you crazy and out of control?”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what you’re worried about here?” he said. “I meant that as in…I’m crazy about you. And you make me–want to kiss you every second I’m around you. You make me make bets with you when I’m drunk just so I can touch you.”

A small thrill went through her. “You can touch me whenever you want, Matt,” she said softly. “I just–sorry. I’m new to the relationship thing, believe it or not.”

Matt smirked. “Me too. My last serious girlfriend left me in college because I wouldn’t kill a man, then died, was resurrected, tried to kill me, and died again.”

“Elektra was your last serious girlfriend?” she asked, surprised.

“If you can even count it as serious. I loved her, if that’s what you mean, but our relationship was never…conventional. It wasn’t…healthy. It might have been, if things had worked out, but…Otherwise I had a few dates here and there, one night stands…that’s about it.” He shrugged.

“My only serious relationship was set up by our parents and it turned out he’s an evil bastard, so…” She chewed on the corner of her lip and fiddled with a thread on the sheets. “So is this…serious?”

“If you want it to be.” His voice was so soft, so gentle, she wanted to cry. “But I want it to be.”

“I do, too. But I don’t think this counts as a conventional relationship, either. I mean, we worked together and lived together first. Then there was the whole bet thing…And we haven’t been on a proper date yet.” Grace nudged his knee with hers.

“I think I like it better this way,” he murmured before he kissed her. “I’ve never been friends with a woman before dating, unless you count my two dates with Karen.”

“Matt, I think you’re a whore,” she said around a laugh.

“A whore?” he repeated with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah. I mean, you’ve had one serious relationship, have never been friends with a woman before dating, apparently had a lot of one night stands…You’re a whore.” She laughed again at the expression on his face.

“It does sound kind of bad when you put it like that,” he said.

“I’m kidding, though. It’s just funny to hear you say it like that. We’re a pair, aren’t we? We’ve each had one serious relationship and neither of them were…healthy.” Grace bit back a yawn as she talked. She wanted to stay up with Matt all night. She’d never enjoyed someone’s company so much, even when he was talking about his badass ninja ex-girlfriend.

But of course Matt’s head tilted and he said, “You’re tired. You should sleep.”

He went to stand but she grabbed his wrist. “You might as well start sleeping in the bed, Matt.” At his clear hesitation she hurriedly added, “If you want to.”

“I do, I just–don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It won’t make me uncomfortable, I promise. Besides, there’s plenty of room.” She stroked a finger across his wrist. She studied him, his tension, and decided to switch tactics. “Please? It makes me feel safer with you next to me.”

It was the truth, and Matt knew it. He immediately softened. “Of course,” he said. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before rounding the bed and slipping between the sheets.

Grace followed his example with an excited shiver. She felt almost giddy about having him sleep in the bed with her. He wanted their relationship to be serious–something she’d never imagined could be true. And now, here he was, laying beside her like it was the most natural thing in the world.

She curled on her side to face him. She pillowed her head on her hands and studied him openly. “I should have probably asked which side of the bed you sleep on.”

“The middle, actually,” he said with a quirk of his lips. He was on his back, but he rolled onto his side to face her. “So I might end up on top of you.”

Electricity prickled through her at his words. “Trust me, I would have no problem with that.”

His grin flashed in the darkness. “I don’t think I would either.”

“I’m just–used to sleeping on this side, is all. But I can switch, however it makes you most comfortable.”

He reached out and with unerring accuracy brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. “I’m plenty comfortable, don’t worry.” The lines of his face had softened. He was tired too. She’d almost forgotten that earlier he’d been out as Daredevil, fighting, going up against at least one or maybe all of the men who’d broken in.

Grace yawned.

“Sleep, Grace,” Matt said as his hand moved from her hair to stroke the side of her face. The sensation was calming. Her muscles unclenched and her body sank a bit deeper into the mattress.

“Mm.” He gently brushed his fingers across her forehead and over her cheek. The repeated movement was making her more tired. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

Within minutes, sleep had claimed her with its long fingers, pulling her under and rocking her on gentle waves.

Next Chapter

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drabbles-mc · 9 months

Text

Things Like That

Danilo Garza x F!Reader

For Day 26 of @narcosfandomdiscord's July Smut Alphabet: zipper

Warnings: 18+, language, smoking, smut

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Idk what came over my brain tonight but it decided that we needed to get weird about someone new in the docs. And Danilo was the lucky winner. It was an experience! It was a time! I'm not upset about it!

Narcos Mexico Taglist: @ashlingnarcos @narcolini @cositapreciosa @hausofmamadas @artemiseamoon @garbinge @southotheborder (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The two of you were sitting in the car. The battery was on but the ignition was off. The shitty little light above the rearview mirror was barely enough to let you get a good look at Danilo’s face. The upside, though, was that he also couldn’t get a good look at yours.

“If you’ve got something to say,” he leaned back in the driver’s seat and looked over at you, “then just fucking say it.”

You shook your head, reaching for the glove compartment where you knew he kept a pack of cigarettes. “I don’t have anything to say.”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he watched you spark up a cigarette and toss the pack back into the glove compartment without even bothering to offer him one in the process of it. He didn’t want one anyway, but he still noticed it.

“You think I didn’t see the look on your face?”

You shrugged, exhaling a stream of smoke. The haze you created in the low light of the car only made it even harder to see. “I missed the part when you started giving a shit about my opinion about anything that you do. Or anyone’s opinion on it, to be honest.”

“I thought you were better than that.”

Your brows came together. “Than what?”

“I didn’t think that you’d lie about things like that.”

About things like that. You turned those words over and over in your head. Those four little words were qualifiers that would’ve been insulting coming from anyone else. Being called a liar by anyone outside your crew stung. But you were all liars in some way, at least a little bit. Most of it was lying by omission, some of it was much more malicious than that. At least you were all in good company.

Danilo was a liar too, in much the same way that you were. You didn’t know anything about his life outside of what you were all doing for the op with Walt. You didn’t know anything about it and you didn’t want to. If all of you started getting too honest about everything, it was only going to get messy. Everyone was in enough danger as it was without all of their personal business being common knowledge. Everyone’s lives were divulged on a need-to-know basis, and no one really needed to know much.

No one wore wedding bands, even though you knew for a fact that at least a few of the men in the crew were married. Again, it was just safer that way. You knew that some of them must’ve had wives, families at home, but you didn’t know which ones and you didn’t know how deep any of those roots went. You didn’t want to know. The thought had crossed your mind a couple times with Danilo, wondering if he had someone waiting for him at home. A nice girl who left the kitchen light on for him just in case. Kids who hadn’t been tucked in for bed by their father in far too long. You didn’t know. You didn’t want to know either, so you didn’t ask. Danilo also never asked if you had anyone at home waiting for you.

You lied about plenty. You were sure that he did too. Everyone lied when it was more important than the truth. But not about things like what had happened at the safehouse. The truth was more important then. You didn’t lie about things like that.

Tapping the ashes from the end of your cigarette out the window, you brought yourself back from the brief mental spiral you’d gone down at Danilo’s clipped words. “I’m not lying.” You saw the disbelief on his face. “What? You think I feel bad for him?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what the fuck are you saying?” You shook your head. “Since when are you anything but fucking direct about what you’re thinking?”

“You flinched.”

You scoffed. “Yea. An unexpected gunshot does that to people sometimes.”

“That wasn’t why you flinched.”

“You just got me all figured out like that then, hm?” you asked with a roll of your eyes. You saw the way he opened his mouth to keep arguing at you and you cut him off before he even got started. You gestured at him with your hand that was holding the cigarette. “Don’t fucking patronize me, Danilo. Don’t act like I’ve never been knee-deep in the shit before.” Your eyes were locked on the dashboard as you thought about all of the years, the ops, the injuries and deaths. “I’ve seen people do much worse for much less.” Finally, you peeled your gaze back over to him. “I’m not that easily swayed.”

His eyes locked onto yours. Even in the shitty lighting, even through the haze of cigarette smoke, you could tell that he was piecing you apart. There was a trace of smugness in his expression, the look that was there more often than not, usually trading out places with anger. You wanted to reach over and smack the look clean off his face but you didn’t. You weren’t going to give him that kind of satisfaction.

“Alright,” he finally said, apparently seeing whatever it was that he wanted to see in your eyes.

You nodded, tossing the butt of your cigarette out the window, slipping it through the narrow opening at the top. “Alright.”

You didn’t think that there was much more for you to say other than that. You still couldn’t tell if he had something more that he wanted to say to you, something more that he wanted from you. Very rarely did the two of you find yourselves parked in his car off a dark side-street just for the sake of talking. Maybe he was just wondering if he’d effectively ended the unspoken, grossly undefined arrangement between the two of you when he pulled the trigger. He hadn’t. You thought no differently of him now than you had when you’d woken up that morning. Maybe that said more about you than it did about him, anyway.

“Am I free to go now?” you asked, head dropping back against the rest of the seat behind you.

“Unless you want to stay.”

You saw the pull at the end of his mouth, the smirk creeping into his expression. You hated how easily seeing that made you mirror the same look back to him. He was absolutely insufferable when he got like this but when he got like this is was practically impossible for you to pull yourself away from him. Of course. It always had to be some guy with a bit of an attitude problem. That just had to be your type.

“I’ll stay,” you told him with a nod, “but only because you owe me an apology for doubting me and this is the closest thing I’ll get to one.”

He chuckled at that, a crooked grin flashing across his face. He didn’t try to argue it because he knew that you were right. Even without an argument, it was clear that he didn’t think that there was anything else to be said between you. In a flash he was shifting over, leaning enough so that he could pull you towards him and into a kiss. His lips crashed into yours, the action expected but still taking your breath away for a moment. Your hands settled on the collar of his shirt, gripping tightly and pulling him closer to you as much as you could with the console between you. All the weeks that had gone by and the two of you still found yourselves clamoring in the front seats from time to time like a couple of teenagers who didn’t know any better. Should’ve just cut out the middle man and hopped right into the back when the conversation started.

You were about to make a comment to that effect, or at least suggest getting back there now before things got carried away too much farther and it would be even more frustrating and inconvenient to switch locations than it already was. You pulled your lips off of his, went to make your suggestion, but apparently Danilo had no intentions of adding extra steps to the process now. The second you pulled away from him, his eyes shifted, his hand dropping to work the button and zipper on your jeans. The sound of him sliding the zipper down seemed obscenely loud in the otherwise silent car.

He didn’t even waste the time of trying to pull your jeans down off of your hips. The second your pants were unfastened and open, his lips were right back on yours again, blind to the rest of it but it didn’t matter because he could still feel you. The callouses on his fingers grazed across the strip of skin above the waistband of your underwear, fresh territory exposed now that hadn’t been before. Goosebumps broke out over your skin at the sensation even though it was hardly new to you anymore.

Then you felt the pull of the fabric, the way the waistband stretched to accommodate his hand that was slipping beneath the fabric of your panties. At least he knew not to expect frills and lace. If he was looking for that he could go find some girl in town who gave a shit about those types of details. You both had other priorities, though. It never seemed to be a problem before, and it still wasn’t now as his hand crept lower, just slow enough for you to be able to lift and adjust your hips, letting the pull of his hand shift your jeans down just enough for him to get the access he was looking for.

His fingers slipped into you with no resistance, the sound of your moans filling the small space the two of you were in. Danilo didn’t comment on it, how wet and ready you were for him despite what the last few hours had held for the two of you and everyone else. He wasn’t much of a talker, which you were exceedingly thankful for especially in moments like that when he could’ve dressed you all the way down with his words, and deservingly so. But he also didn’t talk much because he didn’t have to. Even as he kissed you, you could feel the smug grin on his face in between each reconnection of your lips. Bastard. But you couldn’t stop. Or rather, you could’ve, but you sure as hell didn’t want to.

You were bucking desperately against his hand as he fell into the rhythm that made your legs shake even when you were sitting down. The string of curses that fell from your lips were all the encouragement he needed to keep going. Your head went back, eyes shut tight as you soaked in the feeling of him. His lips dragged along your jaw, teeth grazing as he continued to work you over.

Before you could even think to say something about it, your walls tightened around him, arousal spilling over his fingers and into the rest of his hand as you came. Your fingernails were digging into his arm even though the thin denim of his shirt, but he didn’t utter even a syllable of a complaint.

“Fuck.” It was the only thing you could manage to get out.

You practically melted back into the seat behind you as he pulled his hand out from your jeans. You caught him in your peripheral, cleaning off his fingers in the most sinful way known to mankind. You were glad you weren’t facing him head-on as he did it, or you’d be reduced to a mess all over again.

“Anything to say now?” he asked, his tone and his self-satisfied expression saying much more than those four words ever could.

You huffed, something between humor and exasperation. “Fuck you.”

He laughed, shrugging as he refused to look away from you. “We’re already here.”

You rolled your eyes, tongue darting out across your bottom lip. Leaning over to him, you kissed him hard, your hand instantly working at his belt buckle. “Yea,” you undid it, the sound of his jeans coming undone filling the car now, “we are.”

#narcos mexico fanfiction #narcos mexico #narcos: mexico #nmx #nmx fanfiction #danilo garza #danilo garza fanfiction #danilo garza x reader #danilo garza x you #x reader #x reader fic #nffalphabet #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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butmakeitgayblog · 2 years

Note

Hello

Can you do 26 please

Clexa

26.... in apology

////////////

You toss your bag and coat across the expanse of the couch, because even if asked, you couldn't be paid to know where the coat room your own home is.

But you smile at the thought that they'll be gone before you're finished undressing.

Considering the household salaries you pay each year, that's the least you could ask for.

The apartment smells like fresh flowers with just a hint of rose hips and synthetic lemon, and you make a mental note to have a word with Jessica about that last part.

What's the point of surrounding yourself and your little family of three with all the luxuries life can offer if they hold the lingering stench of a Cracker Barrel discount candle?

Exactly.

You click your tongue at the first sight of your precious angel as you pass her regally sat on her queendom of scratching posts. You run an adoring finger under the silk of her chin just to feel her purr and for the life of you, you can't figure out why your wife hates this little gift from heaven here on earth.

The murmurs of "raw chicken ass devil" still make you scowl.

So ridiculous.

Because she's such a perfect baby.

Also, speaking of the singular bane and blessing of your entire existence, you note you haven't seen her anywhere. But her car was parked in its spot where it belongs, right next to yours, so you know she must be here somewhere.

And you do find her. Looking as delicious as always. Perched on the foot of your bed and staring at her phone.

Go figure.

"Hello, my love," you purr as you float into the room, shirt already half undone and feet more than ready to be out of these shoes. "You have no idea the day I've had."

You mindlessly rattle off all the complaints that had built up since you last saw her with a smile, because you live to fill her in on all the bullshit she's missed out on. You excitedly relay your thoughts on the copy girl who you're fairly certain is fucking your secretary, and the small quarrel you had with Indra over a policy change. You complain about a minute interdepartmental font change even though you know it means nothing, and laugh at your own insult about the board member you know your love's always hated... and frown when no answering laugh comes.

The belt in your hand taps the wall with an empty clank when you hang it up, forgetting the fact you're in nothing but briefs, a bra, and open button down as you step back out into the bedroom to find her exactly where you found her.

Where you left her.

You put your hands on your hips and watch her continue to stare at the black screen of her phone.

"So I told Aden I was giving him the company," you try just to see. "... And then I set the entire third floor on fire."

Nothing.

An uneasy feeling curls in your chest. Because she obviously hasn't been listening to a word you've said, doesn't even seem to have noticed you've entered the room at all and that just won't do.

Because this is your wife. Your wife who is adorably, and understandably, obsessed with you. Doting to a degree that would be annoying if she weren't so damn good at it.

You love that she loves nothing but you.

Well. You and getting spanked. Though you suppose one follows the other.

But that's beside the point.

So the fact that this woman who gets pissy just having to share your attention with your precious feline angel hasn't even noticed you is... concerning.

"Darling?"

You watch her shoulders rise as she sucks in a quick breath and looks up. Her eyes are wide and wild when they finally land on you and it's all you need to know that she really hadn't heard a word.

But you don't care because it's the rest of her face that scares the absolute shit out of you.

She's white as a ghost. Blanched and sickly, like she doesn't entirely know where she is despite being on your bed, in your bedroom, wrapped in your ancient university sweatshirt that you've long since given up hope of ever owning again.

It looks better on her anyway.

"Darling, what's the matter?" you ask with a few steps forward. "Talk to me."

You watch her swallow a thick mouthful of emotion.

"... My mom's dead."

Well.

Well...

Fuck.

... Fuck.

Fuck...

You plan everything.

You plan everything because it's safe.

Because it's safe, and you don't really give one shit what anyone else says, but your dad once taught you it's always always always better to be safe than sorry.

... For some extremely perplexing reason, images from when he helped you paint a silly solar system you didn't even need spring to your mind in that moment, and you can almost still smell his cologne...

You feel your chest clench for so many differing reasons in that moment. Things you can't begin to explain. Some you don't particularly care to.

But this isn't about you right now.

You have to, want to, focus on her.

Because you hadn't planned for this moment. Which feels so fucking stupid on your part because you know your wife has so many more emotions than she'd ever admit. You know- have known long before you were just two idiots who kissed more than made sense- that she feels so much, all the time.

"What happened?"

Blue eyes flit down to the black screen in her hands.

"Cancer," she she says in such a hollow voice.

You feel that shift within yourself.

One you haven't felt in years.

That shift that usually makes you sick to your stomach with memories.

But it's different now, here with her. With Clarke.

Because she takes care of you. Just as much as you take of her.

"How did you find out?" you try as delicately as possibly.

Those beautiful eyes you love so much look so lost as they shift up only to stare off into space just above your shoulder.

"Well," she breathes. "My sister called me."

You know your face looks stupid.

Feel your jaw hang open and eyes blowing wide and there isn't a single possibly as to whether you've retained an ounce of decorum.

"Y— Your— Your what?"

"Yeah, that's what I said," she says with a stabbing laugh that sounds more lost than anything.

You're kind of right there with her.

"You... have a sister?"

"I guess so? Madison. She said her name's Madison. She called to let me know about—... Her name's Madison... My sister... She's- She's Madison."

And you know. You know that frantic sort of head shake. Know it means she really has no idea what to do with all the conflicting feelings colliding inside of her. You can only watch as she drags a hand down her face with a mumbled, "Clarke and Madison. Christ, we sound like a white suburban street intersection."

As adorable as she is, Clarke being forced to confront feelings she hass no idea what to do with always resembles something close to a car crash.

"Apparently Abby got remarried a couple years after she—," you watch she cut off with a flustered flap of her hand. "But yeah, she remarried. And had another kid. A daughter! No less. Which is just... It's just so..."

You watch your love's eyes drop back down to the black screen being squeezed in a death grip between her palms.

"And, uh, Madison, thought I'd like to know what a great mom we had... A PTA mom? Or was? And, um, she did bake sales. I don't know, I kinda blacked out and hung up," she laughs again and you find not one bit of this any more funny than you know she does.

But this is Clarke and you know she would rather hang herself than admit when she's bothered. Have witnessed every self-induced implosion this mess of anger and emotion has put herself through since before you were ever honest about your feelings.

You move slowly to your bed because you know how suffocating it can feel when you're overwhelmed and people try to help too much all at once.

Even more so, when they don't try at all.

So you sit there beside her because she's yours and she's precious and she's everything you want to protect in your life, even when you fall short. But more than that she's... she's just... she's Clarke. She's Clarke. And if the world were to end in that moment, you'd be grateful to spend it with her, because so very little matters beyond you and her.

Certainly not some corpse rotting across country who never even appreciated this precious thing's worth.

You welcome her weight when she leans in because she'll always be the best coming home present you'll ever wish for.

You turn to see glossy blues looking so lost. Looking at you like they hope you hold the answers.

You really fucking hate that you don't.

But you kiss her. As gently as you possibly can.

Try and pour your entire heart into this kiss, and then kiss her all over again for good measure. Just as sweetly. As filled with all the love your body can hope for. So she feels your love for her, but also, selfishly, so you can just feel her.

"I'm sorry, darling," you breathe and feel her immediately bury her face against you. "I'm so sorry."

///////////

#anon #cruel intentions au

66 notes · View notes

kiyosamu · 3 years

Text

remember.

----♡----

pairing: rintaro suna x female reader.

genre: yandere, dark, light romance. // one shot, 4k words.

synopsis: abusive relationships can seem impossible to leave. when you open up to a classmate, your life takes a dramatic turn in the best and worst ways imaginable.

content warnings: assault, domestic abuse (not from suna), descriptions of violence, yandere themes.

----♡----

“hey, kid.” suna’s voice caught your attention as you passed by him in the university corridor. he was quiet, only speaking loud enough for you to hear right as you were walking by.

“hey, rintaro.” you stopped for a moment, refusing to look up at the tall man towering over you.

“i haven’t seen you in a while. everything okay?” he leaned against the wall and clutched a textbook to his chest. “you haven’t even been to class. kinda been missing my project partner.”

“you got my work though, right?” you asked him, partially covering your face with your hair. “i emailed it to you.”

“i did.”

“okay… good.” you cleared your throat, awkwardly shuffling and offering a suspiciously sudden goodbye.

“hey, wait-" suna grabbed your wrist to keep you from leaving. the small amount of pressure more than enough on your deep bruise to make you wince.

suna noticed your pained expression and immediately let go, stepping back.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to hurt you. i just wanted to ask you if-“

“it’s okay!” you interrupted, knowing you’d already spoken to him for too long. you needed to get out of there before anyone noticed. “you didn’t hurt me. sorry, i have to go. bye!”

your behaviour was erratic. your speech was rushed; forced and strained with every word as you tried your best to appear normal.

unfortunately it was much harder to pretend everything was okay than you’d originally thought it’d be.

you quickly turned and headed down the hallway to drop off the assignments to your other professor. the last one you’d have to see for the day before heading home. you were almost there. so close you might not even run into him.

you’d hoped, anyway.

----♡----

after seeing your professor, you walked out into the fresh evening air. the cold stinging your cheeks and the wind pushing your hair out of your face.

your cheeks burned from the freezing air, but it was your black eye was that hurt the most.

“i’m sorry, i just lost my temper.” his words echoed in your head, “you shouldn’t have pissed me off.”

you nodded, essentially agreeing with him. it’s true, if he didn’t get mad, he wouldn’t have hit you. and why was he mad? because of something you did. so really, it was your own fault.

you were the one apologizing to him that night. doing anything you could to make it up to him. all of this with a deep purple bruise forming on your face.

when he finally left your dorm and went back to his, you were mentally exhausted. you fell asleep and woke up right before your second class of the day.

he had started forcing you to miss classes, to do everything at home and only go in to submit your work. this was for two reasons.

the first, you could spend more time with him due to your schedules. if yours was freed then you’d have more time together.

the second was to stop you from talking to other men. completely.

...and then he found out suna was your lab partner.

“i don’t want you working with him.”

“i have to. the professor is the one who chooses.”

“then work from home and submit the stuff online. that guy is a manipulator. he’s dangerous and will take advantage of you. i just know it.”

you’d never gotten that type of vibe from suna, but you obeyed your boyfriend because you didn’t want to know what would happen if you didn’t.

secretly, though, you missed class. you missed working with him. laughing, getting to know each other. he’d become a good friend over the past year and since you had the same majors, you two shared quite a few classes.

he was calm. funny and quiet, but definitely not timid. his energy made him come off tough, but not scary. if anything, he made you feel… safe.

just for those few hours you had together.

and whenever class would end, you found yourself missing that feeling.

----♡----

“i have to go to class tomorrow.” you said, refusing to make eye contact with your boyfriend who’d invited himself over to your dorm.

just like he does every. single. night.

“why? you gonna go talk to that suna guy?” he approached you, giving you a terrifying smile that you know wasn’t coming from a place of happiness.

“yuji… please.” your words were barely a whisper when you felt his fingers wrap around your throat. “my professor told me i need to start going. my grades are falling behind.”

his fingers tapped rhythmically against your skin. dancing skillfully as he toyed with the idea of choking you. you held your breath, expecting the worst.

“you should try harder.” he growled, digging his fingertips into your neck and you clenched your eyes closed. “get your grades back up so you don’t have to spend any more time with that guy.”

“okay, okay!” you grabbed onto his wrist and his eyes widened. “i will! i’ll get my grades up so i don’t need to see him anymore.”

“good girl.” he smiled, the evil expression he’d previously worn had melted away into a false image of a kind man. “always listening so well for me.”

yuji leaned in and kissed you. you kissed back, barely, but just enough for him to be satisfied and leave you alone.

“time for me to go.” he sighed as he heard the dorm advisor do a final walk through to knock on the doors and let the students know it was time for guests to leave.

“see you tomorrow?” he asked, tilting your chin up to look at him.

“sure…” you whispered. you trembled under his touch and wanted nothing more than for him to leave your sight.

“good. it’s a date.” he said happily and gave you another kiss, practically skipping down the hallway back to his own room.

you shut and locked your door, desperately wishing that was the last time you’d ever have to see him.

----♡----

“well, well, well.” suna cooed as you took your seat next to him. “as i live and breathe, i never thought i’d see the day. you finally made it to class.”

you nodded and pulled out your books.

“had to. my grades are slipping.” you sighed, looking around at the science classroom. “what are we doing today?”

“lab day.” suna said as he nudged an instruction sheet towards you. “should we put on our coats and get to it?”

“okay...”

you started to have an internal panic attack. your wrists were as bruised as the black eye you were hiding behind your hair.

suna stepped away to get your lab coats.

this would all be visible, and you didn’t want suna (or anyone) to see any of it.

you nervously approached your professor and she looked up at you with a disinterested stare.

“ma’am, i need to be excused from class today.”

“absolutely not.” she scoffed, “unless you want to fail my class, which i know you can’t afford to do, you’ll stay and do your lab.”

you opened your mouth to reply but she kept speaking.

“go put up your hair, roll up your sleeves and get your lab coat on. you should be thankful you have such a competent partner.” she crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair, “actually, i think the two of you should spend some time together. he’s my top student and you definitely need some tutoring.”

“i don’t think that’s necessary-“

“mr. suna, come up here please.”

suna walked up with a confused look, unsure as to why he was being brought in to the conversation.

“something i can help with?” he asked.

“yes,” the professor smiled, “i’d like the two of you to do tutoring sessions a minimum of twice a week, an hour each time. could you do that?”

“oh, sure. i don’t mind.” he smiled, “was that all? we should get to our assignment.”

you felt backed in to a wall. of course you were okay with this, you enjoyed spending time with suna.

unfortunately, you were terrified of the repercussions.

even worse, there was nothing you could do about it.

when you got back to your table, you put your hair up and silently thought of a plan. keep your head down, don’t make eye contact. maybe he wouldn’t notice.

you rolled up your sleeves and put on your white coat. it was barely long enough to hit your wrists, but did a decent job of hiding the bruises.

the first half of the lab went well. suna explained things in a way that made it easy to comprehend and you were genuinely enjoying yourself.

until you completely forgot.

you began to pour the green liquid into the tube. suna was writing his lab report when he looked up and noticed your mistake.

“oh, hey,” he stood up, putting his hand over yours to tilt the container back up. “you need to pour it slower, like this.”

when it started to pour just as he’d wanted, he let go and you found yourself missing the brief comfort of his touch.

“good job! you did it.” suna smiled and you looked up at him with an excited expression. finally. finally you were getting something right.

when the two of you made eye contact, his smile immediately dropped into a look of concern.

“what happened to your eye?”

“oh,” you stepped back, covering it with your hand. “i fell.”

suna carefully held onto your wrist and you winced in pain. his intentions were to move your hand away from your eye, but he took immediate notice of your reaction and pushed your sleeve down.

the bruises in the shape of fingerprints stained your skin a deep purple.

“what about here?” he stepped closer. you tried to read his expression but he looked completely emotionless.

“from the same fall, i’m just clumsy.”

“and your neck?”

suna pushed back your lab coat to see the same fingerprint bruises scattered around your neck.

you were suddenly thankful you’d chosen the table in the far back end of the classroom. nobody was ever watching.

“yeah.” you said, practically a whisper. “i’m just really clumsy.”

suna leaned down and looked into your eyes.

“why don’t i believe you?”

“five more minutes!” the professor called, interrupting your intense conversation and the two of you snapped back into action.

you finished your lab report and quickly packed up your stuff before rushing out the classroom door.

suna followed closely behind.

“it’s your boyfriend, isn’t it?”

you stopped dead in your tracks and turned around to look at him. suna’s expression was no longer emotionless. he was angry.

“okay,” you sighed, grabbing his wrist to pull him to a secluded space outside. the two of you sat down under a large tree, away from everyone else.

“yuji gets upset with me and… hurts me… sometimes.” you choked out. “i haven’t told anyone because i’m scared of what he’ll do to me. i haven’t left him because i’m scared of him. i’m stuck.”

you hadn’t said these words out loud to anyone, ever, and the way they were flowing so freely had you crying before you were even aware of it.

“please don’t tell anyo-“

“i’ll take care of it.”

you looked up at him. suna looked completely calm, his voice smooth and gaze held on you.

“what do you mean?”

suna stood up and ran his hands through his hair.

“i mean i’ll take care of it.” he smiled, “see you tomorrow afternoon for tutoring?”

“wait, suna-“

“later!” he gave you a passive wave before walking back towards the university building.

----♡----

that evening you waited for yuji to come by your dorm, but he never did.

you waited for him to call you, but he didn’t.

you worried about what suna had meant. maybe he was going to talk to him, maybe even threaten him. you’d hoped he wouldn’t do that, but you really didn’t know what he was capable of.

surely the rumours about him couldn’t be true. an honour's chemistry major being involved in a more sinister, underground group that nobody even knew if it was real or made up?

he was too nice. there was no way.

----♡----

after class you headed back to your dorm to get ready for your evening. suna had asked you to meet him under the same tree from the day before. around 7pm.

you debated on calling yuji, but ultimately decided against it. maybe he’d come to his senses. maybe he was remorseful, and just wanted to move on. to leave you alone and pretend your relationship never happened.

that was what you wished for the most.

----♡----

you stepped out into the cold evening air. the wind blowing softly and brushing the hair out of your face.

you clutched your books to your chest and took a short cut through the back fields separating the dorms from the main university campus.

you checked your phone, you were early. suna would be there in about 15 minutes.

you reached down to grab your phone when it was immediately snatched from your hands.

“you did this, didn’t you?” a familiar voice snapped at you. you glanced up to see yuji, sporting a similar black eye and a bandaged cut on his cheek.

“i- no, of course not!”

he rolled his eyes at your reply, clearly not willing to listen to a word you were saying. yuji grabbed your wrists, forcing you to drop your books and pushed you against the back wall of the university.

“you did. tell me right now. everything you said. who you said it to. and why.” the look in his eyes was horrifying. scarier than any other look he’s given you before.

this made it seem like his previous bouts of anger were nothing but minor inconveniences.

“i didn’t-“

yuji pulled back, immediately hitting your chin with a hard punch that knocked your head back into the concrete wall.

“try again.”

your vision was hazy. mind blurring memories together and you couldn’t even form a proper sentence.

you felt a warm, wet sensation cascading down the back of your neck and were immediately soothed by the feeling. the warmth was comfortable, even though you didn’t know what it was from.

yuji’s hand wrapped around your throat and he pressed his forehead to yours. his fingers dug roughly into your windpipe, causing you to choke out the remaining air in your lungs. you felt yourself get sleepy, closing your eyes and letting darkness overtake you as your body went limp.

----♡----

“hey, wake up.”

snapping fingers in your face had you looking around curiously. you couldn’t focus on your surroundings. it was unclear who was with you, unclear what was happening around you, and unclear why you were there.

the sounds of multiple men. grunting, panting. speaking quietly between deep breaths and harsh exertion.

what were they doing?

“hey.” the fingers snapped in front of your face again.

“what…” was all you could manage to say. your body felt heavy. weak. you were just so tired. all you wanted to do was fall asleep. you submitted to the exhaustion, closing your eyes again.

“don’t go to sleep.” a soothing voice lifted the back of your neck, pressing something soft against your head. “stay awake and listen to me.”

“ya like beatin’ up girls, huh?”

whack

“wanna put a girl half your size in the hospital, for what? to feel like more of a man?”

whack

“a real man would never hit a woman.”

whack

“a real man would beat the shit out of losers who do hit women, right ‘tsum?”

“right. maybe we’ll even put him in the hospital.”

whack

“oh, he’s gonna be there once we’re done.”

you finally recognized the last voice. it was suna.

he spoke again, his voice raspy and dark but still audible from where you were.

“i hope to fucking god you didn’t hurt her so badly that she’s knocked out…” suna trailed off and let out a small chuckle. “because there’s nothing i want more than for her to hear you cry like a little bitch when this blade goes right…”

the sound of yuji’s sudden scream was immediately muffled by what you were sure was the hand of the other man.

“…through you.”

your eyes widened and you were starting to understand what was happening.

all you could feel around you was danger.

you started to hyperventilate. panic was taking over.

“focus on me. come on, we need to get out of here.”

“who…” your head started to hurt now. badly.

“my name is osamu.” he bent down and cradled you in his arms, bringing you close to his chest and picking you up bridal style. “hold on to me if you can.”

“i’m scared…” you whispered.

“i know.” he murmured, carrying you away from the scene and back through the field. “i’ll keep you safe. we need to go to the hospital.”

“what about…”

“the only thing you need to worry about is stayin’ awake right now, okay? it’ll all be okay.” osamu’s voice was soothing. his body was warm and his strong arms supported your body in a way that made you never want to leave his hold.

you gave him a weak nod. even if you wanted to get away, you couldn’t. so you decided to trust in this man and hope for the best.

----♡----

“hey, sweetheart.” the calm voice of a nurse slowly woke you up. “you’re finally awake.”

“where…” you choked out, your throat was dry and you could barely make out where you were. it was all so… confusing.

“you’re in the hospital.” she said as she stood on her tiptoes to change the fluids on your iv pole. “you were assaulted. your injuries aren’t good but you’ll make a full recovery.”

the nurse leaned back down and held onto your hand. “you have a real knight in shining armour, you know. your boyfriend hasn’t left your side since you were admitted. he’s going to be so happy when he finds out you woke up.”

boyfriend?

your heart started to race at the thought of yuji coming in. you looked around, preparing for the worst when you heard footsteps enter the room.

“hey, sleepyhead.”

“speak of the devil.” the nurse smiled, giving your hand a squeeze. “i’ll let you two have some privacy. please press the call button if you need anything, i’ll come back and check on you soon.”

the footsteps grew closer and you heard the squeak of a chair being pulled up next to your bed. you opened your eyes to see suna giving you a compassionate smile.

“rintaro?” you whispered, “what are you doing here?”

“making sure you’re okay.” he crossed his arms, “been here since you were admitted.”

you tried your hardest to remember even coming to the hospital, but you just couldn’t. everything was gone after your head hit that wall.

“what… happened?” you asked, your eyes pleading for him to be honest.

“someone attacked you and your boyfriend.” suna leaned in, “do you not remember anything?”

“i remember yuji being upset with me…” you blinked, your mind working as hard as it could to remember something of importance. “my head hit the wall and it’s kind of fuzzy after that.”

“i see.” suna nodded.

“wait, how did you know i was in here?”

“some people mentioned an attack on campus. i got worried when you were late for our study session, and when your phone rang and you didn’t answer i felt like something was up.” he shrugged, taking a moment to think of his next words. “i called the hospital and asked if you were here, and then came right over when they confirmed it.”

“oh. okay…” you went to scratch an itch on your scalp and were met with searing pain at the slightest bit of pressure. “ow!”

“careful.” he smiled, taking your hand away from your head. “it’s gonna be sore for a while.”

“yeah…” you trailed off, trying to make sense of the situation. “what happened to yuji?”

“why do you care?”

“huh?” you glanced at suna who’s expression had turned sour.

“why do you care about what happened to him? he could've killed you.”

“i just wanted to know if he…” your voice was shaky and you tried to compose yourself. “if there was a possibility of him coming after me again.”

“not a single chance.” suna leaned over the railing of the hospital bed and took your hand. “besides, even if there was, i won’t let anything happen to you.”

----♡----

you’d found out yuji had suffered from severe injuries almost taking his life. he was beaten, stabbed, and his spinal cord suffered so much damage he was permanently paralyzed from the waist down.

while you were relieved the abuse would be over, you constantly wondered who had assaulted him.

you remembered telling suna and him saying he’d take care of it, surely that wasn’t him, right? there was no way suna could do something like that.

----♡----

months went by while you recovered from your injuries. you’d been discharged from the hospital after 3 weeks, and suna had stuck by your side every day.

“i’m happy to say you’ve essentially made a full recovery.” the doctor smiled, shaking your hand. “i’m so proud of your progress. you’re truly a walking miracle.”

“what about my memory?” you asked, “when will i remember what happened?”

“oh, you might not ever remember. you hit your head hard and from what we gather, you were unconscious.�� the doctor stood up, clutching his clip board before walking out. “it’s probably for the best that you don’t remember what happened. you should focus on moving on, now. take care.”

----♡----

“well, should we celebrate?” suna asked as you walked out of the hospital together. you stopped, causing him to turn and look down at you. “what’s up?”

“i just wanted to say thank you…” you said, feeling your face getting hot. “i don’t think i could’ve done this without you.”

“you could’ve. you’re the strongest person i’ve ever met.” he leaned down, brushing the hair out of your face. the same hair that used to cover the deep bruises, now showing your true complexion. “and the most beautiful.”

you felt your heart flutter at his sudden compliment. suna’s hands found your waist and you instinctively draped your arms over his shoulders.

“you really mean that?” you asked, looking into his eyes.

“of course i do.” he smiled, leaning in to give you the long awaited kiss the two of you had been dying for. his lips were soft and you melted into his arms. he pulled away, resting his forehead on yours. “beautiful in every possible way.”

you felt tears well up as you were being complimented. the sweetest, kindest, most handsome man touching you so delicately and speaking to you with nothing but respect.

you'd completely fallen in love with him, and it was everything you ever could’ve asked for.

----♡----

a few weeks after the two of you made it official, your honeymoon phase was in full force. you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. you were experiencing your first true relationship that made you feel loved and you cherished at every moment.

one evening, you decided to go to suna’s dorm to surprise him.

knock knock

“rintaro?” you called out, opening the door to let yourself in. “are you home?”

“in here, baby.” he replied from the kitchen. he was sharing an apartment style dorm with two other men, but you hadn’t met them yet. they weren’t ever there when you were.

“we finally get to meet your girl, huh?” one of them cooed as you walked in. he had dyed blonde hair and smirked at you as you walked by. “damn, she’s a looker, huh ‘samu?”

samu… why did that sound familiar?

“don’t be such a pig.” the other boy replied. you realized they were twins when he stood up and walked over to you. he smiled, holding out his hand. “nice to meet ya, i’m osamu.”

osamu.

no.

“my name is osamu…”

it couldn’t be.

“…hold on to me if you can.”

no, no, no.

the memories of the night of the assault came flooding back to you.

it only took a moment to realize...

...it wasn’t a random assault at all.

#suna drabble #rintaro suna #suna angst #rintaro suna angst #haikyuu angst #yandere haikyuu #yandere suna #yandere #haikyuu #suna #osamu miya #atsumu miya #miya twins #inarizaki angst #atsumu angst #osamu angst

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cinefairy · 2 years

Note

im persisting for a new life. i live in a toxic household w an abusive family, and i don’t really have many friends at the moment. im sorry if you consider that a trauma dump but girl :(. —and i dont feel like acknowledging that im non satisfied rn will affect anything for me personally.

i’m not gonna want to hear “your manifestation is probably not appearing because you’re manifesting from a place of lack/desperation/impatience” from other blogs bc like no shit with these circumstances WHO WOULDNT FEEL THOSE THINGS? that shouldn’t stop anything.

its not the luxury clothing or iphone 12 that im worried about. i know the good life isn’t separate from me but yeah i do *need* a change to that reality ASAP!! like, today. i shifted to my desired reality-like into another house in a different country but it freaked me out so i tapped out. i want shit to appear “naturally”. anyway, ik you have maybe a vagely similar experience/past ??

maybe id like just like some motivation tho eiypo lmao im tryna soothe my human self and ill do other things to help w that too.

i dont want to vainly affirm or use anyyyy more energy to visualize. i dont want to try to convince or delude myself to knowing for a fact. i dont want to deeply relax into the void. i dont want to script. ive done everything i could ever do i know ive done WAY more than enough but i just desire it to appear now, nowww. im so determined but im still human and im tired. the power is within me ive proven it to myself many times. sometimes even tho u know something on a mental level, you still may not feel its a fact in your heart of hearts. thats my current assumption.

but girl i just needed to vent on that. im taking this spiel as proof it’s happening incredibly soon tho. now onto me contradicting all this with my desired self concept lmao. sorry its so long and i understand if you dont wanna post it.

TRUST ME! its okay to vent. its okay to feel your emotions, its okay- don’t ever keep your feelings inside of you for the sake of your manifestation, and i totally relate to how you’re feeling. you venting and releasing how you really feel isnt gonna do shit to your manifestation trust me.

i just want to acknowledge how you’re still so powerful!! even how shitty your life might seem you’re still trying and it makes me happy. from someone who has once been in such terrible circumstances, never give up. if i had gave up i wouldn’t be where i am rn.

1. STEP INTO YOUR POWER

i can already sense your power, i KNOW you’re amazing- i know you’re gonna manifest your desires and ik you’re gonna be okay one day. trust me on that, step into your divine power and know you’re 100% that bitch. mentally and physically because you are. go have self conversations with yourself on how AMAZING you are!

2. SELF CONCEPT

self concept is really important and ik you’re probably sick of hearing self concept too, but self concept really is the foundation of everything in life. self concept helped me in similar circumstances as you if that helps.

“i manifest so quickly and easily”

“nothing stops me from manifesting my desires”

“i love myself, i love what im becoming”

“i am strong, independent and amazing”

“i can easily manifest anything i want”

“i am a powerful manifestor”

“i am confident in my manifesting abilities and i know that my manifestation is inevitable no matter what”

3. KNOW THAT YOU CAN MANIFEST ANYTHING, NO MATTER WHAT.

ik a lot of people say you should ignore the 3D. now i believe you shouldn’t, i mean if you’re in the worst of circumstances..how can you? so just KNOW your manifestation is inevitable and its gonna be happen no matter what.

also you have SAID WHAT YOU WANT. meaning you dont have to do anything else but step into the knowing that your manifestation is inevitable.

#ask

165 notes · View notes

valyrielwrites · 2 years

Text

Before Dawn, At The Winery

Chapters: 1/1 (Full Fic Available on AO3)

Relationship: Diluc (Genshin Impact)/Reader

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crepus is still alive, Diluc is still a knight, Reader-Insert, AFAB reader, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, One Shot, Smut, Married Sex, Married Couple, Foreplay, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Creampie, Unprotected Sex

The chill of waning moonlight illuminates the path as Diluc makes his way home after a long day in service to the Knights of Favonius, exhaustion creeping in as he follows the sound of doleful winds whistling through the overgrown pass, his horse kicking up dust as she slowly carries him back to the winery.

Between the preparations for Ludi Harpastum and overseeing the Cavalry company back at headquarters - not to mention the mountains of paperwork that came along with it - he was in dire need of a break. He had originally planned to be back in time for dinner with you and his father, to help make a good impression on the visiting merchants from Liyue, but things never seem to go according to plan these days.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he rounds the corner, the sight of lanterns glowing along the road leading up to the manor, a few of the windows still lit up in the dead of night as his horse whinnies and stops just shy of the sign whilst the chirping crickets get louder at their approach. Diluc clicks his tongue and taps his heels against his mount, steering her up the driveway towards the house through the vineyard - the faint fragrance of grapevine flowers reminding him of all the times he and Kaeya played hide and seek as children during the harvests.

“Almost there girl.” He reaches down and pats her neck affectionately, nodding his head when he sees one of the farmhands standing at the gate a short distance away.

“Master Diluc?” The farmer squints in the dark, coughing as he lifts his lantern up in the hope that his ageing eyes adjust. “What brings you out at this late hour?”

“I could ask the same of you Tunner, it’s almost dawn.” He replies, bringing his horse to a halt.

“Ah it’s nothing really Master Diluc, just a stubborn cold that won’t go away,” He coughs and clears his throat before continuing. “I was keeping my wife awake from all of the coughing, so I decided to go for a walk to see if the fresh air would help.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon.”

“I’ll be alright, these old bones haven’t given up on me just yet!”

“Still… It wouldn’t hurt to take a few days to rest,” Diluc carefully dismounts his horse. “I’ll speak to my Father about giving you some time off in the morning.”

“That’s very good of you Young Master, but there’s really no need!” Tunner laughs dismissively, “I’ll take her back to the stables for you, it’s on the way to my house.”

Diluc knows there’s no arguing with the man, stubborn sweet fool that he is, but makes a mental note to go ahead and do it anyway as he hands over the reins - aware that his Father has probably already had that conversation and failed, although it can’t hurt to keep trying.

He sees Tunner off and makes the rest of the way up the drive on foot, looking up from the courtyard to the top-leftmost window, surprised to see that your light is still on at this hour.

For a moment he can’t help but feel a pang of guilt that he’s kept you waiting this long, wondering to himself if just this once he should’ve just delegated the rest of his work to Kaeya and left the city when he was supposed to, even though he knows that you of all people would understand that his sense of duty to the people of Mondstadt comes before anything else.

It’s the one part of your marriage that he was worried would be too hard for you, especially when things were as hectic as they are now, but you seem to have taken it in stride - the absence often making your heart grow fonder every time he returns - although deep down he would prefer it if he could spend more time closer to home.

The oak door creaks a little when he pushes it open, stepping into the dark foyer and quietly making his way inside and up the stairs to your bedroom, quickly glancing over at the clock on the wall to check the time before he pushes down on the handle and enters the room expecting to see you awake.

“I’m sorry my love, I-”

He stops midway, his voice hushed once he sees you sitting upright yet sound asleep - a book still in your hands and the oil lamp still burning on the bedside table.

He can’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he shrugs off his overcoat and slowly reaches down to take off his thick leather boots, gently dropping them down next to the chaise lounge as he walks over, debating whether or not to move you and risk disturbing your slumber. He quietly sits on the edge of the bed, his one hand lovingly trailing up the length of your leg before coming to rest at your knee whilst the other carefully reaches for your book and makes sure to dog-ear the page that you got up to before closing it and placing it on the bedside.

You stir at the sound of him going to turn the wick down on your lantern, the squeak of stiff metal ringing clear in the air as he stops to quietly curse under his breath when you let out an annoyed hum as you wake, stretching your neck to ease the stiffness as you squint up at him.

“What time is it?” You murmur.

“It’s early.” He replies.

“... Or late.”

You raise an eyebrow at him for his tardiness as he leans in to kiss you, chaste and sweet as his lips briefly brush against yours, a relieved sigh escaping his throat as he melts into your touch after so long apart. It had only been a fortnight, perhaps a day or two more, but every moment away from you was a moment too long.

“I’m very sorry.” He breaks away with a grin, “I’ll make it up to you later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You tell him, reaching up to cup his jaw in your hand, thumb gently stroking across his cheek. “Are you coming to bed?”

“I need to get undressed first.”

Your eyes wander down to his uniform, his grey waistcoat fastened tight over a pristinely pressed white shirt that covers up all his finer features, your hands slowly sliding down his firm chest as you begin to fiddle with the buttons.

“Would you like me to help?” You tease.

“If you’d be so kind.”

Adjusting your position so that you’re no longer wrapped up in the bedsheets, you shuffle closer and unfasten his waistcoat, leaning in to kiss his cheek as your fingers make quick work of it and untuck his shirt as he shrugs off his first layer of clothes.

“How was dinner?” He asks you as you move your tender hands back up to his collar, popping it open to reveal his skin underneath.

“It went well,” You hum against him, slowly tilting your head down to press your lips against his neck as he lets out a content hum. “We managed to charm the merchants enough that they seem very keen to invest.”

You undo another button, Diluc’s hand ghosting up across your bare leg and coming to rest right at the point where your ivory chemise has hitched halfway up your thigh, his fingers squeezing softly as he feels your unsteady breath tickle against his neck.

“Are they still here?” He asks in a low voice.

“Your father showed them to the guest room,” You explain as you lift yourself up onto his lap when the last button releases, stroking your fingers across his exposed abdomen as he uses his other hand to weave his long fingers through your hair. “So we ought to be quiet.”

“At this hour?”

He chuckles as he pulls your head back, crimson eyes burning with thinly veiled desire behind the tired veneer on his face, sending chills up your spine as you gaze back longingly at him with a whisper:

“I want you at every hour.”

You can’t help but gasp a little as he effortlessly edges you further up his lap, heart jolting when you feel a familiar firmness against you through his trousers, his hand slipping further up the hem of your nightdress as his lips hover mere inches away from your own.

“It’s almost dawn.” He warns with a knowing smirk.

“Then it's a good job that I’ve already instructed Adelinde to let us lie in.”

“Oh?” He lets out a soundless laugh, “Well in that case…”

All of a sudden you feel his lips against yours again, heart soaring in your chest as his tongue runs across your lower lip and slips into your mouth when you meet him with a soft moan, capturing you in an aching embrace as you give in to his touch so readily. You can think of nothing more than how desperately you have missed him, the dull pain of his absence soothed in an instant as you press your thighs together impatiently, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and drawing your figure flush against his own.

A relieved groan escapes his throat when he realises how severely he needs this, needs you , all the stress on his shoulders shedding away with his clothing as he tosses his shirt to the side, only withdrawing from your kiss so that he can pull your chemise over your head and admire every inch of your bare body too.

Diluc’s discerning eyes take in every line and curve as he brings his hands down to trace the your form, swallowing when he thinks of all the things he’d like to do to you now that he’s finally home and has you all to himself, his cock stiffening in his trousers when he remembers how good it would feel to have you wrapped around him again.

“Lie back.” You tell him, hands resting against his chest as you gently nudge him.

Offering no objections, your husband does as he is told, permitting you to push him down against the bed as he reaches to unfasten his own belt - the cold metal of the buckle jingling when you lift yourself up just enough to allow him to take off what is left of his clothes before he pulls you back down to join him, his lips crashing against yours as your roll your hips down onto him.

Diluc’s hands wander, fingers clumsily stroking at the apex of your legs until he finds what he’s looking for, a low grunt catching in his throat as his forefinger begins to run slow circles against your clit.

“There…” He whispers to himself, almost triumphantly as he coaxes out a satisfied sigh from your lips. “Is this still how you like it?”

“Yes-”

You moan softly into his mouth as you kiss him again, closing your eyes as you lean into the pleasure he brings you, the steady rhythm of his touch carrying you along as you reach down to grasp his length and slowly stroke up towards the tip. It’s no surprise when he lets out a hiss as you hit the most sensitive point, his head tilting back in response whilst you trail your lips featherlight against his neck, a wave of avid desire making his cock twitch in your hands as you continue to move with him.

Diluc quickens his pace, in half a mind to finish you faster simply because he can’t bear to wait any longer after so much time apart, the aching need to sheathe himself in you overshadowing his longing to savour every second of it - although it’s clear to him that you have other ideas.

You move down, tracing along the lines of his muscles, tongue languidly teasing against his skin whilst you touch and caress, making sure to maintain eye contact as he watches to see what you’ll do next. His heart races when you dip below his chest, shifting too far down the bed for his hands to reach you as you plant a tender kiss against his stomach, his breath hitching in anticipation when he realises what’s happening.

“Gods…” He breathes. “How I’ve missed you.”

With what is left of the lantern’s glow, Diluc observes you ardently as you continue down from his waist to his hips leaving playful nips against his sensitive skin, your slow strokes across his length coming to a stop when you slip off the end of the bed and feel your knees come into contact with the herringbone floor.

“Then perhaps you should come home more often?” You tease.

“Or you could come live in the city with me.” He replies, his fingers weaving through your hair.

“If I did that - between the Knights and the Tavern - I would never get you all to myself.”

Settling between his legs as he shuffles closer to the edge, you wet your lips and lean forward to press a tender kiss against the shaft, fondly remembering how sweet and nervous you were the first time you did this for him just after you got married - only now you feel thrilled when you see his cock throb in expectation, a sense of eagerness overtaking you at the sight of pre cum gathering at his flushed tip, your lips grazing the head as you shamelessly gaze up at him.

“I think I would find the time to… Ah -”

Diluc gasps as you drag your tongue across his slit, cock flinching in response as you laugh and wrap your hand around the base to steady him, his grip on your hair ever so slightly tightening as he takes in a deep breath to steel himself.

“Keep your voice down.” You warn him, eyes flitting towards the door momentarily before you turn your attention back to him.

“Do it again,” He ignores you with a grin. “Darling, please…”

“Well seeing as you asked so nicely.”

He lets out a huff of air in place of a groan as your lips wrap around him, sucking at the tip for a few moments before you run your tongue across it again and watch for his reaction, his head tilting back slightly when you begin to grip tighter with your hand as you move. Although the size is no longer as intimidating now that you know you’re doing, you still take your time before having him all in your mouth in one go, allowing your jaw to relax before bobbing your head a few inches up and down as he unravels at your touch.

It takes everything he has to just lie back and let you take control, resisting the urge to push your head down and buck his hips up whilst he plays with your hair in his hands, your tongue swirling around his cock to coax out a series of low moans and praise as he tells you how perfect you are and how much he loves this - the sensation overwhelming him as you slowly swallow him in until you finally reach the base.

“Ah -” Diluc grunts as you try not to gag, helping you pull your head back to release his length as you gasp for breath. “I love you… Gods… I love you -”

You don’t let him finish his lust driven utterings before you return your lips to his tip, kissing and lapping him up before lowering yourself onto it again, making sure to breathe through your nose and go a little slower this time. The satisfaction of seeing the look of awe on his face whilst he watches you is enough to drive the heat that settles deep in your core, your other hand inching down your body to massage your own clit as you let out a little hum around him, your pussy already slick enough from Diluc’s earlier work.

“You’re so good at this,” He coos, sitting up on his elbows to see you better as he tucks your hair behind your ear and notices the way you moan over his cock when you slip a finger inside yourself. “... So pretty too.”

Your heart swoons at the way he lovingly strokes your cheek and compliments you, acting the perfect gentleman even in the moments when you’re being nothing short of indecent, encouraging you to become bolder with your movements - pressing your tongue firmer and flatter against the tip as you bob your head at a faster pace to match your own pleasure until your husband begins to tense as he approaches his end.

“I’m too close,” He warns, breath shaking as he feels that warmth begin to pool in the pit of his stomach, “I haven’t even had the chance to finish you yet.”

His grip on your hair loosens as if to signal that he wants you to pause, so you reluctantly oblige him and pull your mouth off of him - albeit slowly, making sure to enjoy the desperate look on his face as you wait until he’s moments away from the brink.

“I can take care of that.” You tell him, resting your head against his inner thigh as you play with your pussy, your finger slowly withdrawing to rub up against your clit as you let out a subdued moan.

“Oh I’m fully aware of what you’re capable of,” Diluc chuckles, his cock still twitching as you look up at it. “But what if I want to do it myself?”

Oh.

Your breath catches in your throat, taken aback by the uncharacteristically playful expression he’s giving you as he strokes your hair, lifting your head as he sits up and holds out his hand for you to pull yourself back onto the bed.

“And how do you intend to do that?” You ask, letting your hand fall back to your side as you stand, leaning forward to capture him in a fervent kiss.

Diluc seizes the opportunity to guide you back onto his lap, his hands stroking down the outline of your body and coming to rest at the red marks on your knee from where you were kneeling, breaking the kiss for a but moment so that he can bury his face in the crook of your neck and reply:

“By returning the favour.”

You don’t have time to respond before Diluc has slid his hands underneath your thighs and lifts you up enough so that he can toss you back against the pillows, positioning himself between your legs, his breath hot and unsteady against your inner thigh.

“Diluc-”

You smile as you reach out to tuck his long red hair back behind his ear, gasping when you feel him softly kiss your clit before his tongue flicks out against you, the sensation concentrated right at the point that he knows will be your undoing. Your head rolls back with a stifled moan, hands shooting up to cover your own mouth in shock at how intense it feels at first, the lingering stimulation from playing with yourself earlier serving as a good foundation for him to build off of.

Your husband looks up at you, pulling his head back for a moment so that he can joyfully watch your reaction as he slips his finger into your hole before he buries his face against your pussy again, your back arching when he lets out a satisfied grunt and begins to stroke back and forth.

You curl your hand into his thick red hair, gripping him tightly as you whimper and roll your hips forward to chase the pleasure that rises in your core, all the muscles in your body tensing as the tip of Diluc’s tongue laps up your clit with purpose.

“Diluc please…” You plead, your breath ragged as that familiar heat begins to spark deep within.

It doesn’t take long before he’s pushed you to the brink, your eyes slamming shut as you feel your climax wash over you in waves, mewling and rolling your hips into his face as he relishes the taste of your arousal and carries you through to the end - his hair tousled and mouth glistening with spit when he finally comes up for air as you fall apart.

The warm light of the lantern finally extinguishes itself - leaving you both bathed in the last of the pale moonlight as you lie on the bed together, bare and intimate as he slowly edges up your body with light kisses against your flush skin, settling between your legs as you catch your breath.

“So perfect,” He sighs, his lips grazing your forehead as you open your eyes again, all the adoration and warmth you have for one another pouring out as you lie there chest to chest in the dark. “I can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to have you.”

“I love you.” You whisper.

You reach up and stroke his cheek as he kisses you, the taste of your arousal still sweet on his tongue as you quietly moan into his mouth and tilt your hips up to meet him, his length sliding across your pussy and resting right at your entrance.

“I love you too.”

With half lidded eyes Diluc slowly pushes in, sheathing himself inside you with a restrained groan when you feel him fill you up, his neck tilting forward to rest his forehead against yours as his shallow breaths mix with your own. Just like your first night together, he reaches out and takes your hand to slowly intertwine your fingers with his at the moment he bottoms out, allowing you a moment to get used to the sensation before he tries to move.

You lean up to embrace him deeply, heated lips against his own as he begins to rock into you, a slow pace gathering as his cock slides up against your walls with a measured rhythm that seems to gain a sense of urgency with every thrust.

It takes all the restraint you have not to cry out every time Diluc hits you at exactly the right angle, using his heady kisses to muffle the sounds you wish you could make without disturbing everyone else in the house, and soon enough you can feel that pressure building again - your walls tightening around him as soon as he begins to relentlessly drive into your heat.

“A little longer my love…”

Diluc feels how close you are without you having to tell him, the muscles in your arms and legs stiffening as you instinctively lift your legs up to wrap them around his hips and lock him in place, a frantic and pleading expression etched across your face as you shakily hold your breath to ready yourself.

“I can’t -” You whimper, squeezing his hand as you keen. “Please… I want you to cum.”

It’s strange how such a simple request seems to spark something in him, Diluc’s eyes widening as he suddenly pushes into you a little harder and faster now, the increased pace bringing you both closer to the precipice when you clamp down around him and let out a strangled moan.

A few thrusts more and you’re both coming together, gratification burning through your heart as you feel him shudder and empty himself inside, his jagged breaths hot against your lips as you let out a wracked sob when your orgasm sparks, his body shivering feverishly as his movements gradually cease.

All the strength seems to have been sapped from his body as he slumps against you, his head falling at the crook of your neck as you slowly wrap your arms around his wide back and cradle him like that for a while - too exhausted and exhilarated to speak or move - barely capable of catching your breath as you gaze up towards the ceiling, you blink slowly as you unmuddle your mind and begin to calm down.

Eventually Diluc seems to gather himself, carefully unsheathing his cock as he pulls out with a tired sigh, pressing a reassuring kiss against your shoulder before he peels his body away from yours to roll onto his side. You shuffle closer to him as he slots his arm under your neck, settling at the top of his chest and closing your eyes contently.

“I’ll write to Varka tomorrow.” Diluc says.

“Hmm?”

You’re too lazy to reply, full sentences beyond your capacity after being fucked so well.

“To extend my leave a little longer than I planned.”

You smile at the sound of his soft laughter, relief washing over you at the prospect that you’ll get a little more time together for now, as the last of the moonlight disappears below the horizon.

#Diluc #diluc ragnvindr #Diluc x You #Diluc x Y/N #Diluc x Reader #Genshin Diluc #Genshin #Genshin Impact #原神 #afab reader #reader insert #smut #my writing #before dawn at the winery #bdatw #ao3 #ao3fic #oneshot

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luvlyrv · 3 years

Text

Uncover | Seulgi x F!Reader

Genre/warnings: fluff, angst, homophobia (religious)

Summary: You quickly learn that while it was easy to be dishonest with yourself, it was nearly impossible to lie to Seulgi.

Word Count: 4.7k A/N: This has been something wracking up in my brain since June. It's kind of embarrassing that it's taken this long but it's a lovechild of my emotions. Enjoy, and I hope you feel things.

Date: 9/21/21

You can't imagine a day without her, because she's always been there. Right from the day you could remember. You bet that she could be your last memory too.

Your first memory has you sitting in the living room playing with your toys as you anxiously eye the other child in the room. Some strangers had rung your doorbell and your mom and dad had welcomed them into the house. Now they were in the kitchen, their voices blending into each other in the background.

The small girl in front of you decided to take the liberty of picking up your toys and playing with them. She ran around playing in the imaginary world in her head. You think that she's having fun and that you want to have fun too, but you can't seem to move from your position. As you slowly try to build up the courage to talk to her she approaches you.

She had been glancing at you from the corner of her eyes too. She watched your shy self idly playing all alone. She found it hard to approach you, scared of you pushing her away or being mean, but she thought maybe it was worth it. You could be a friend.

"Hi!" The strange girl is right in front of you with one of your stuffed toys in hand. "Do you want to play with me? I'm Seulgi!"

"I'm Y/N…"

For the rest of the hour the two of you chased each other in a shared adventure. Enraptured in your own little wonderland until your parents had to pull you apart.

Soon it became a ritual for those strangers, who you later learned to be Mr. and Mrs. Kang, to visit your house. Along them was always their daughter Seulgi, who wouldn't hesitate to pull you into a large hug right before starting a new adventure with you.

You slightly trail behind your best friend. You smile at yourself from the sight of Seulgi happily skipping, somehow filled with even more vigor than she usually has. She's always been filled with much more energy than you, amazed by even the smallest of things. You suppose something truly spectacular must be happening today for her to feel so extra. She turns her head over to look at you, flashing you her perfect smile with her perfect cheeks. The ones you always want to squish when you remind her of how cute she is.

She continues to bounce but slows down to be by your side. One of the favorite parts of your day, and hopefully hers too, would be the peaceful walk the two of you would always share before and after school. It always reminded you of how close you are. How you can always rely on her to listen and to brighten up your day.

She bites her lip while still smiling. She must be thinking about something.

"What's got you so excited today?" You ask her with a giggle.

"Guess!" She pesters leaning into you. A familiar feeling emerges in your chest from the contact.

"You know I'm really bad at guessing…"

"Well why can't you try?"

"All I know is that it has to be something really special, right?" You decide to lean back and push her a little as a tease.

"It is! Mom and dad bought me my favorite ice cream that we can share later today!"

You laugh at her as she continues giving her dumb smile. Seulgi moves in front of you with her eyebrows raised, waiting to hear your opinion about the news.

"Is that it?" You ask still laughing. She pouts a little.

"What do you mean 'is that it'? It's my favorite! And I get to share it with you!" With that you pull Seulgi in for a side hug.

"I'm kidding, I'm excited too."

You enjoy listening to whatever nonsense Seulgi thinks about and decides to spill to you as you guys continue walking. You feel a bit disheartened at the sight of the school building, but looking at Seulgi again is enough to make the disappointment go away.

As much as you wish it did, your schedule wasn't entirely with your best friend. Instead you had to split up as you entered the school grounds to your different classes. Fortunately you shared at least some classes with her, and most importantly lunch. So when you sit down at your desk with nobody talking to you, you don't feel too lonely. The anticipation of being reunited with Seulgi was enough for you.

As usual Seulgi finds your figure sitting down at a lunch table and immediately rushes towards you. She taps your shoulder as she sits down, hurriedly opening up her lunch box, her beastly appetite striking again.

"Oooh." She oogles as the both of you breathe in the sudden aroma of homemade food. You peer over to look at the contents of her lunch box. You swore that you can see the steam coming off of her rice.

"Open up!" Seulgi playfully demands of you. You oblige as she not so carefully throws a grape your way. It would've been lost if you didn't move your head to make up for the completely inaccurate trajectory.

"How are you still bad at this?" You ask her after chewing.

"Maybe I just like to see you work for your food." You laugh at her response as you carefully pick up a spring roll from your box and place it in hers.

"Mom fried it this morning so you better enjoy."

You enjoy the long-time tradition of sharing food and eating in relative silence. That time was short lived though as a small group of girls joined your table. You didn't mind them much, you'd even consider them casual friends. At the same time though, they were bothering you.

You found it strange that despite finally being with Seulgi you felt so lonely. So lost.

Seulgi's popular, you know that. A lot of people try to befriend her and fight for her attention. Being the social butterfly she is she never hesitated to say hello back and return the friendliness. By proxy you met a lot of nice people, a lot of not so nice people, and more. They never really stuck by for you though. They stayed for Seulgi.

You wish you understood why you were so bothered by those that stayed. Why you were always feeling jealous recently. You wonder if it's natural to feel so intensely sick when you watch your best friend's attention be pulled away by several different girls at a time, or laugh at a guys joke. Well, maybe you do know why.

You quietly sigh and push the thought away, instead trying to join in the chatter and laugh with everyone at the table. Just as you were about to calm down and ease into the group a sudden large group of guys and girls approach. One boy in particular seems to be leading the pack. You purse your lips as you silently watch them come over. Seulgi absent-mindedly continues talking, completely unaware of what was about to occur.

You tighten your hands into a ball as a feeling bubbles inside you. You can't place what it is. Is it fear? Anger? Jealously? It's probably both.

The boy also tightens his hands as they grip onto his shirt. You watch him bite his lip and see how a red color crawls up his neck and reaches the tips of his ears. You hold in a breath as he finally arrives at the table and Seulgi looks up at him.

"S-Seulgi." He barely manages to say her name aloud.

"Huh?" She looks at him cluelessly but gives him her full attention anyways.

"I like you! A lot! So if you can, please go out with me!" The boy's words spill out, as if his mouth was a floodgate holding them back. He reaches behinds him and quickly bends over to give Seulgi a piece of red paper, shaped like a heart. He probably wrote about his feelings extensively on it.

Your eyes had been focused on the love-stricken boy. It's hard for you to move your eyes towards Seulgi. You realize now what you're feeling. You fear what you'll see when you look over at Seulgi to see her reaction.

You notice that she's red too, the color slowly blossoming across her cheeks.

Why does this hurt you?

"Erm, ah, thank you." She says out of politeness and bows back. She gives him a smile and that seems to excite him. "I'll think about your confession."

He eagerly nods his head and leaves the table, happy with the results of his actions. The crowd around him seem to think that was a good ending and started whispering and congratulating him. You look back at your table and the girls are murmuring too.

"He's cute, you should definitely go for him!"

"I heard he treated his last girlfriend nicely. They're still on good terms."

"I've never seen you date before. Isn't now your time to explore?"

Seulgi just takes it all in and nods along with what they say. Your head hangs low as you pick at your food. You don't dare look up. You're scared of seeing Seulgi's face again. You're scared that tears will start falling.

It was like the weight of the world had fallen on your chest.

When the bell dismisses you from lunch you quickly go to your next class. You don't say goodbye to Seulgi or any of the other girls. You feel the light graze of Seulgi's fingertips as she tries to stop you, but you're too fast.

The rest of the school day is you trying to focus on studying, and when your last class finishes you're not sure what you'll do. Everybody leaves the classroom before you as you take some time for yourself. Breathing in and out, you mentally prepare yourself to face Seulgi, as if she was some type of monster.

As you exit the building and get near the gates you see a swarm of people with Seulgi in the center. They're probably there to ask about how she feels about the confession that happened. You sigh and almost contemplate leaving without her, but her eyes quickly find yours. Seulgi politely but abruptly says her goodbyes and runs towards you.

As Seulgi's figure grows nearer there's a feeling of satisfaction. It was like you had won some petty fight, and that feeling was able to erase the fear and nerves you had earlier. A smile grows on your face she reaches your side, your bodies automatically matching your steps. You enjoy the warmth when she locks her arm with yours. Not knowing what to say, you let silence fill the space in between the two of you until Seulgi decided to break it.

"So, do you wanna stay at my place for a bit so we can eat that ice cream?"

Seulgi's keys jingle as she unlocks her front door. You follow in after her, putting your shoes away as she dashes towards her refrigerator to retrieve the ice cream from the freezer. You walk up towards her as she hands one to you. Naturally, both of you make your way outside into her backyard.

Her backyard is quaint, housing a nice garden that her mother often tends and one large tree. The two of you rest under it, appreciating the winding arms of the apple tree that has always given you and Seulgi refuge. You enjoy the taste of the ice cream, perhaps the shade was enhancing its flavor. Either way you understood why its Seulgi's favorite. The refreshing taste and Seulgi's presence puts a smile on your face. You feel yourself opening up again as you guys joke and talk about your day in between bites and licks. By the time you finish eating your ice cream she had managed to convince you that she needed your extra help in math. As always you agreed to tutor her.

She argues that you should stay underneath the tree as she gets up to throw away the trash. You watch as she goes back inside the house, coming out again with a shiny apple in hand that was picked only a couple days ago. You laugh a little as you ask,

"Still hungry?"

"Enough for a little snack."

She sits by you and takes a rest on your lap. You brush her hair away as you look into her eyes. You can tell she's thinking about something.

"What's wrong?" You ask her.

"Well, I was just wondering, why were you upset earlier?" She says in a serious tone.

"Huh?"

"You didn't even say goodbye at lunch, and don't pretend I didn't notice you almost leaving without me." There's a hint of hurt in her voice. You feel bad for not keeping your emotions in check better, that you threw a fit over something so small.

"Well," Your voice trails off as your mind struggles to think of a response, "what does that boy mean to you?" You decide to ask.

"Oh so now you want to know about that too?" There's only a slight annoyance in her voice as she gives you an eyeroll.

"I'm your best friend, of course I'm curious." Seulgi huffs at your response. She can't blame you for wondering so she takes a moment to think before answering honestly.

"I mean, I guess they weren't wrong. He's kinda cute, and I know it took a lot for him to say that to me. I admire him for it." She said it in a casual manner, as if it wasn't a big deal. Yet for you it meant everything. And it hurt.

You can't control the frown that found its way on your face.

"Hey…" Seulgi quickly gets up from your lap. She has a confused expression as her eyes scans yours. "Hey, what's wrong?" Her voice is soft as she puts a hand on your shoulder.

Your chest is about to explode.

"Do you like him or something?" She continues to grip onto your shoulder with a confused face. She thinks she was the one who did something wrong. That she's stealing someone away from you, but that was so different from the truth.

"No, Seulgi, I-" You pause to think about what you're going to say. Something was about to come out instinctively, and you don't know whether or not that was the best decision.

"You what?"

She presses you for an answer but you're still thinking. You're thinking about you know you can't handle her possibly being close to someone else. To share all of her laughs with that boy. To smile at him and spend time with him. To do all the things that exists between you and her. Living would feel wrong if you were no longer the one she ran to and spilled her secrets to.

Who are you if not Seulgi's biggest and only confidant? The only one who could soothe her in her darkest moments? The one who understands every feeling and thought just by the way she blinks?

You're intimately familiar with the feeling in your chest now. You think that you know what it is too, but that doesn't make you hate it any less. If you could, you'd sacrifice every fiber of your being to forget that feeling and throw it away. To pretend it doesn't exist. But your wishes don't make it go away.

You can be dishonest with yourself, but it's impossible to lie to Seulgi. Not when she looks at you like that.

"I like you."

The words are barely a whisper but she hears. Seulgi's hand falls off your shoulder and you want to cry again. You said the wrong thing. She was going to think you're disgusting. She would never go on a walk with you again. You'll never smell her perfume again. You'll never hear her laughter again. She'd never touch you again. Never speak to you again.

Her mouth is open slack. Your eyes water and you breathe in, readying yourself to apologize profusely. To rescind the blasphemous words that slipped out of your foul mouth.

"I'm so sorry. Just ignore it. I take it back. I think I'm sick or something, you know, delirious. Just ignore it please. Please." Tears begins to fall down your face as Seulgi seemingly snaps back to reality. She reaches towards you, taking your face in her hands as her thumbs swipe away the tears.

"Oh my god, no, don't cry." She begs you to stop, but you can't.

"I-I'm, I'm sorry." The tears continue to make their way down your face. A horrible sickness wells in your stomach and suddenly it feels below freezing as you shake uncontrollably.

"No, don't be." She hugs you tight and whispers in your ear. "I like you too. So stop crying. For me, please." She strokes your back as you cry, hoping that the touch could settle you down.

It takes a while for you to register what she says, but as soon as you do your body seizes up. You think that maybe your everything, your soul, has shattered into a million pieces from Seulgi's words. How in the world could it be true? It couldn't be, not in this universe, not in this timeline.

Yet it was.

When Seulgi hears your sniffling stop and your body letting go of its tension she separates her body from yours. Her eyes are all you can see, and all you can see in them is pain.

"I'm sorry for making you worried." You felt guilty that she had to see you cry. The outburst at school wasn't great either.

"Don't worry about it" She reassures you by taking a hand in hers, stroking it with her delicate fingers to show you her affection. For several moments you allow yourself to breathe. Seulgi also took the time to process everything, and the two of you stared at each other with the new understanding of your feelings. Time seems to pass so slowly when you observe each other with care.

"Seulgi…" You mumble when what felt like years passed. She understood what you meant when she saw the way you looked at her lips.

In that moment you couldn't care anymore. Neither could Seulgi, it seemed, as you pressed your lips on hers and she pressed back. Greedily, the two of you dived in for a taste. Your lips on hers, her tongue in your mouth, it was something you needed. It was a flavor you could relish forever, perhaps this is what sin tasted like. Yes, this is what they'd call it. A sin.

It feels like everything has changed, but at the same time it hasn't. You still spend every second possible with Seulgi. You spend your time doing the same things. Yet everything feels so different, it feels brand new. Magically, it feels better than before. Is this the power that Seulgi has over you?

Nobody knows, nobody needs to know. After all, you're still Seulgi's bestfriend. Is there really anything different? Maybe just the tighter hugs, the kisses, and the alluring smiles, but that's all. Life is easy this way.

After bidding Seulgi goodbye in front of her house you go home to eat dinner with your family. You come home and greet your parents with a smile as you rush to join them at the dinner table. They share that smile as they take note of your enthusiasm recently. As you eat quietly for a while your mom finally asks you what's been going on to make you shine so much.

"Well..." You debate on what to say. It's been over a month since you confessed to Seulgi but you were still feeling high. You've been holding it for so long you wished you could tell someone. Why not them? You want them to be happy with you too. "I've been dating Seulgi."

"Hm?" Your mom asks you somewhat aggressively for clarification. The sudden stillness in the air alarms you. You look up from your food to see your mom staring as your dad stops eating.

"I-I told her I liked her and she liked me back." You say hoping to clear whatever confusion was occuring. Yet the look on your parents didn't fade.

"What happened?" You father's question sounds more like a statement as he sternly places his utensils down.

"What do you mean what happened? I just told you."

"What happened to make you like this?" His cold voices breaks a little as you notice his eyes tearing up. Was he seriously upset about this?

"You're joking, right?" Your mom joins in with an angry tone.

"Of course I'm not. Mom, she makes me really happy." You struggle to keep yourself composed under the scrutiny of both of your parents.

"Y/N. You are not happy. You're messing with the devil right now and he's fucking up your mind."

"Have you not been doing your prayers?"

You can barely fight for yourself at the dinner table. Your parents argue with and over you, about the causes and the whys. About the signs and what happens next. You cry as you watch your decision unfold into your nightmare.

You knew deep down inside this would happen, but you hoped and prayed that it wasn't true. Perhaps Seulgi made you too happy, too brave. Everything else felt like it was going right so you convinced yourself this would too. You've flown too close to the sun and it backfired. You should've never said anything.

As you try to block out the fight unraveling in front of you you could only scream one thing while crying. "Wouldn't God want to love me? Wouldn't He want you to love me too?"

The scrape of the wooden chair echos as your mom shoots up straight. "I will not house some heathen under my roof. Get out until you realize what you've done to this family."

It's raining. The relentless torrent of water against your body traps in the coldness from the night, leaving you shivering as your feet move on their own. They move to the only other place that feels like home. The only other person that feels like home.

Soon enough you find yourself in front of a familiar door, incessantly knocking. Muffled footsteps come from the other side of the door as you hear locks being undone until the door finally opens. Instantly there's a look of worry on Mr. Kang's face as he takes in the scene in front of him. He quickly ushers you in and shuts the door.

"Who is it?" A voice rings from upstairs.

"It's Y/N!" Mr. Kang yells back, and soon enough you hear a flurry of footsteps coming downstairs. Seulgi, in her tired glory, appears. She rushes towards you as her father went off to find you some towels to dry off with.

"Oh my god, what happened? Why are you here? Are you okay?" Seulgi's honey eyes are glistening with worry. She doesn't seem to care too much about the fact that you're soaked as she embraces you in a hug. Her body soothes you, its warmth penetrating the cold, wet clothes that clung to your body. You let her ground you back to reality before speaking.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now." You barely manage to get the words out. Your throat feels tight, constricted. Throughout the entire time the tears haven't stopped running down your face as it mixed with the rain water. Seulgi rubs your back as her father comes back. Both of them begin patting you dry.

It feels a bit pathetic as you have two people fretting over you so much, but you're too tired to move. Maybe not even tired, but rather stuck in your own thoughts.

"Go get her something to change into. Are you gonna stay the night?" Her dad asks after making Seulgi go back upstairs to find clothes. You just nod in response and follow her.

When you enter Seulgi's room you find her hastily going through her drawers, finding something comfortable for you to wear. After digging through her clothes she hands you some sweatpants and an oversized shirt, much like her own outfit she was sporting. Your hands are in front of you and holding onto the clothing, yet you still can't seem to move much. Instead your lips tremble as you look at the floor. Seulgi sighs as she nears you, unfolding the clothes and looking at your trembling hands.

"Don't make me dress you." She half-teases. When she realizes you can't will yourself to move a grim line stretches across her face. She wonders what has gotten you so riled up to act this way.

Carefully, she removes your clothes and throws them into the laundry pile. Her fingers innocently skim your body as she puts on the clothes for you, with you doing the minimal movements required to help her. Over the years she's already been more than familiar with your body, and the same for you with her touch. Although you can't vocalize it you silently appreciate the care and intimacy she demonstrates.

Soon enough she finishes though and pulls you towards her bed. Sitting you down she places herself behind you after grabbing a dry towel. She begins to dry your hair while letting you stay silent. Another thing you appreciated about her. She let you take your time.

"Seulgi..." Your voice croaks out as if you've aged several decades.

"Yes?" She stops drying off your hair, instead placing the towel down as she wraps her arms behind you and leans forward.

"They know." She doesn't say anything but her body is still for a minute. Afterwards she finishes drying off your hair, at least one of you can stay calm in this situation. That's what you need. "They told me to come back when I come to my senses."

"It's okay. Everything will be okay. We'll figure something out." You let her guide you down on her bed. Your crying had stopped a while back, but the shock coursing through your body didn't. As Seulgi pulled up the sheets and began to hold you you turned around and looked at her. You looked into the eyes that told you everything. Right now they told you that all Seulgi had on her mind was you.

So you think that you should only think of Seulgi too, because you can always forget about the consequences when you're with her. With a kiss on your forehead she tells you to sleep. She gets impossibly closer to you, holding you tight. Holding you as if you are her treasure.

The familiar trees and houses enter your view as you drive down your childhood neighborhood. Your fingers tap on the steering wheel as you listen to the song Seulgi played in the car. Out of the corner of your eye you see her smile at the thought of visiting her parents. It's enough to make you happy as well.

As you near her parent's house you pass by your own. It's been years since you've been inside, years since you even saw it. You're okay with it though, but your mind still wonders how your parents are doing. You wonder if the house is lonelier now, if they ever think about the sparse letters and phone calls you have exchanged and how they always were fights. Do they know you and Seulgi are coming to visit? Will they want to see you?

Whatever the answer is it doesn't matter. The only family you have to worry about is the girl right next to you and her parents. You feel thankful that she's your first love and hopeful that she's your last. Despite how many times your lives have separated you two, how you both dated other people and had your own quarrels, you guys came back to each other in the end. She changed you during your formative years and supported you as the two of you have grown up.

No one else can make you uncover these sides and feelings like she does.

#seulgi x reader #rv seulgi #kang seulgi #red velvet x reader #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #gg imagines #gg scenarios

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dekuskacchan · 3 years

Text

i will follow you into the dark

Rating: T

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Fluff

Summary: Izuku has finally returned to UA, and Katsuki will never let him go again.

Or: Izuku and Katsuki finally discuss their feelings.

A/N: Hi again, friends! Since chapter 322 is out now and dominating all of our lives, I felt inspired to write. This is intended to be a sequel to my fic "Tell Me I'm Dreaming," and takes place immediately after the events of chapter 322. So, spoilers are ahead for that chapter! I hope you like it <3

I'd also like to note: Izuku ate and took a bath when he got back, I just couldn't figure out how to work that in. Fear not, he is a clean and fed boy :')

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33153718

Katsuki watches the gentle rise and fall of Izuku’s chest as he sleeps, undoubtedly for the first time in days. He’d fallen asleep the second his head hit the pillow on the small bed in Recovery Girl’s office, and hasn’t budged since.

In the 12 hours Izuku has been back at UA, Katsuki has left his side once, only with substantial convincing from Glasses and Shitty Hair.

“Dude, he’ll probably be out cold for a few more hours. At least go scarf down some food and take a nap,” Shitty Hair said.

“Shut the fuck up,” Katsuki retorted, “I ate this morning. And I have slept.”

Kirishima let out an exasperated sigh that irritated Katsuki to no end.

“Did you come here just to piss me off?” he snapped.

“We are concerned for your well being, just as we are Midoriya’s,” Iida said, “you haven’t fully recovered from your own injuries yet. You need to rest.”

“I said I was fucking fine.”

Iida looked at him with knowing eyes and a gentle smile. It annoyed Katsuki even more.

“He won’t disappear if you stop watching him, Bakugou."

“Yeah. We’ll stay with him,” Kirishima added with a thumbs up.

Katsuki gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit it, they were right. His empty stomach only served to fuel his anger more.

“I hear they’re serving spicy curry for lunch in the cafeteria,” Iida coaxed.

Katsuki had relented at that point, not because it was his favorite, of course, the growling in his stomach was just giving him away.

Katsuki returned less than an hour later. Kirishima and Iida admittedly had reassured him, to some degree, but it wasn’t enough to quell his anxiety. Iida scolded him for refusing to rest, but did nothing to stop him, as if he knew his efforts were futile. The pair stayed with Katsuki at Izuku’s bedside a while longer, but left him to his devices nonetheless.

Half and Half stopped by some time later, tapping on Katsuki’s shoulder and waking him from a restless sleep in a shitty plastic chair at Izuku’s bedside.

“Wouldn’t it be more comfortable to sleep in your bed, Bakugou?” he asked, sitting in a chair adjacent to him.

“I was sleeping just fine before you fucking showed up, you Half and Half bastard,” Katsuki snarled.

“I’ve been here for an hour and a half, actually,” Todoroki stated. Always so fucking deadpan.

“Why the fuck did you wake me up now then?”

“You looked uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine, asshole,” Katsuki grumbled. Todoroki looked unconvinced.

“I figured you would say that. Here, I brought you this,” Todoroki produced a blanket from behind his chair and handed it to Katsuki.

“I don’t need your fucking charity," Katsuki grumbled, but accepted it anyway, silently grateful for refuge from the chill in the room.

“It’s no trouble,” Todoroki patted his shoulder.

“Tch.” Katsuki shrugged him off.

They sat in silence for a while. Izuku still hadn’t budged. Katsuki was worried, but some part of him was thankful that Izuku was finally fucking resting.

“Everyone is proud of you, you know,” Todoroki said quietly.

“Haah?!”

“It took courage, what you did. We know it’s not easy for you to express your emotions,” he paused, considering his next words, “it... doesn’t come naturally to me, either.”

“No shit!” Katsuki barked. Todoroki raised a finger to his lips to shush him and nodded at Izuku, who had grunted in his sleep.

“I’m just saying, your efforts aren’t unseen. We know you’ve been working hard, and that this has been weighing on you for a long time. If it weren’t for you, Midoriya might not have listened to us.”

“You don’t know shit,” Katsuki grumbled, averting his eyes. Katsuki was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t good at this shit, and Todoroki knew it, so why wouldn’t he shut up?

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We can change the topic,” Todoroki said, as if he could read Katsuki’s mind.

“Or we could stop fucking talking altogether,”

Todoroki smiled and nodded, returning his gaze to Izuku. Katsuki’s eyes followed and he frowned.

“He’s such a fucking idiot,” Katsuki muttered, leaning forward in his chair and resting his chin on his hand. Todoroki chuckled.

“He is certainly reckless,” Todoroki nodded, “I’m disappointed to learn he felt he had to keep such a big secret. But, he is my friend, and I will continue to be as supportive as I can. He would do the same for us.”

“No, he’d do more, and end up getting himself fucking killed."

“That’s…" Todoroki frowned, "probably true."

They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Todoroki fucking piped up again, much to Katsuki’s dismay.

“I know Midoriya appreciated what you said,” his voice was soft.

“Words don’t matter. Actions do,” Katsuki’s response was immediate.

“Well your actions have spoken clearly. “You're a better person than you think you are, Bakugou.”

Katsuki whipped his head to glare at Todoroki with an insult on his tongue, but he found himself speechless instead, staring with an incredulous look on his face. He mentally kicked himself for it.

“I just hope you know that, too,” Todoroki offered a half-smile.

Katsuki was frustratingly taken aback. He averted his eyes and looked at the ground with a scowl. That damn fucking Half and Half.

Todoroki thankfully shut his mouth after that. Katsuki wasn’t sure how long they sat together in silence. It wasn’t until the sun had set and the room began to fill with darkness that he heard Todoroki rise from his seat.

“I’m going to go lie down. You should, too,” Todoroki said plainly.

Katsuki sighed. He was right, but there was a sickeningly uneasy feeling in his gut whenever he thought about leaving that he just couldn’t shake.

“I…I can’t,” he whispered.

“Okay.”

Todoroki patted his shoulder again, and Katsuki didn’t push him away this time.

“Thanks,” Katsuki shrugged, “for the blanket or whatever.”

Todoroki nodded. He left the door cracked behind him on his way out.

Katsuki pulls the blanket around himself and reclines in his chair, putting his feet up on Todoroki’s abandoned one. It’s really fucking uncomfortable, but Katsuki knows it would be impossible to sleep if he were anywhere else.

After too many attempts to reposition himself comfortably, Katsuki groans and sits up straight, turning his head to watch Izuku again. He’s still sleeping soundly.

Katsuki leans forward and, without thinking, brushes his hand through Izuku’s hair, pushing back a few stray curls. The moonlight flickering through the blinds illuminates his face, and Katsuki thinks that, somehow, this is the most peaceful he’s seen Izuku in ages.

Katsuki can’t remember the last time Izuku wasn’t at least slightly on edge. He is always looking over his shoulder, as if he’s expecting the enemy to be watching. He spends every minute of his free time training or muttering to himself about battle strategies. The nerd doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “relax.”

Katsuki slides his hand down to cup Izuku’s cheek. His skin is soft and warm, just like last time, and he can’t help but feel an awful sense of dèjá vu. He stays that way for a few moments, just reveling in the fact that Izuku is really here. This isn't a dream, he’s finally here, and Katsuki will never fucking let him go again.

When Katsuki reluctantly moves to pull away, Izuku reaches up to grab his hand, nuzzling into it.

Katsuki is startled, as Izuku is seemingly still asleep. He brushes Izuku’s cheekbone with the backs of his fingers, and swears he sees the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“You’re a dumbass,” Katsuki mumbles, propping his elbow on the bed to rest his head in his free hand.

“I can hear you, Kacchan.”

Katsuki jolts up in surprise to see Izuku staring at him with one eye cracked open and a smirk on his lips.

“Shit, did I wake you?” Katsuki tries again to pull his arm away, but Izuku holds on tight, as if Katsuki is his lifeline and he’s barely hanging on.

“D-don’t go,” Izuku stutters, burying his face in Katsuki’s hand. Katsuki caresses his cheek again and frowns when he finds wetness there.

“Are you crying?” Katsuki asks, though he’s not sure why, because he already knows the answer.

“N-no,” Izuku sniffles. Katsuki rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Hey, look at me,” Katsuki whispers, lifting his free hand to Izuku’s other cheek and turning his head to face him.

Izuku whimpers, holding Katsuki’s arms in a vice grip as he looks up. His eyes are sunken and glassy, overflowing with tears that Katsuki wipes away with his thumbs.

Fuck, he looks like a fucking zombie. His face is paler than usual and littered with scratches, and heavy, dark circles line his eyes. Katsuki suppresses a sudden urge to wrap him in his arms and hold him tight.

“What’s wrong?” Katsuki murmurs, stroking his cheeks in what he hopes is a soothing manner.

Izuku’s face contorts and a new wave of tears begin to fall.

“I-I’m so s-sorry Kacchan,” he snivels.

Katsuki holds his face tighter.

“I told you, we get it. Don’t beat yourself up, you’ve already done plenty of that.”

Izuku chokes a laugh through a broken sob and Katsuki counts it as a small victory.

“I a-am pretty messed up, h-huh?” Izuku hiccups, “but so are you.”

“Tch. I’m fine,” Katsuki lies, feeling a familiar twinge of pain in his side.

“I kn-know you better than that, Kacchan,” Izuku meets Katsuki’s gaze, “d-don’t think I didn’t see you bleeding back there.”

“I was bleeding. I’m not anymore, see?” Katsuki points to his newly applied bandages, “The old lady patched me up.”

Recovery Girl had given Katsuki a thorough scolding for tearing his wounds. Something about being too reckless, to stop throwing himself in front of danger because isn't it hypocritical of you to tell Midoriya to look after himself, but you won't do the same? That had pissed Katsuki off to no end, but he’d accepted her help anyway.

“Y-you could’ve hurt yourself-”

“But I didn’t! Quit worrying about everyone else,” Katsuki looks Izuku dead in the eyes, “think about your goddamn self for once.”

Izuku shakes his head frantically.

“I can’t. I said so many terrible things I- I h-have to apologize-,” Izuku tries to get up, but Katsuki is lightning fast as he moves to sit on the bed in front of him, gripping his shoulders to hold him in place.

“You can do that later. You need to fucking relax. Did you forget you were beaten to a pulp?” Katsuki reminds him.

“Kacchan, I’m f-”

“Don’t fucking say you’re fine! You’re not, and you know it.”

“It doesn’t matter, Kacchan!” Izuku shouts,“I can’t- I can’t just sit here while everyone else is-”

“Everyone is safe,” Katsuki lightly shakes him, “and we’re safer if we're together.”

Izuku presses the heels of his hands to his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” Izuku repeats himself. His voice is shaking. “I ne-”

“Shut the fuck up. You matter,” Katsuki says firmly, pulling Izuku’s hands away and holding onto them.

Izuku weakly lifts his head to meet Katsuki’s eyes. He looks taken aback, and even more exhausted than before, but Izuku is just as stubborn as Katsuki is, and Katsuki can tell he still has an argument left in him.

“Izuku,” Katsuki watches Izuku's eyes widen as he utters his name for a second time. It feels foreign on his tongue, but he knows the weight it carries, and he'll say it over and over if it makes Izuku happy.

Katsuki pushes back the hair that’s fallen in front of Izuku's face and knocks their foreheads together.

“Izuku,” he repeats, “ You fucking matter,” there’s a sharpness to Katsuki’s tone he hadn’t intended, but he can tell Izuku gets the message. He swears he sees the color return to Izuku’s bloodshot eyes before they squeeze shut, overflowing with new tears.

Izuku buries his head in Katsuki’s chest and wails. Katsuki immediately wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a tight embrace, ignoring the aching pain in his injured shoulder and side.

“I-I’m s-so sorry,” Izuku’s entire body shakes as he clings to Katsuki. Katsuki holds him tighter, rubbing gentle circles on his back.

“Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Katsuki murmurs, trying his best to soothe him, but Izuku only cries harder. Katsuki’s own eyes begin to burn.

“It’s s’not o-okay, Kac-chan,” Izuku stutters.

“Nobody is mad at you."

“Th-they should b-be,” Izuku insists miserably

“Well they’re not.”

“I think All M-might is.”

“Haah?! The fuck kind of reason does All Might have to be mad at you?” Katsuki is baffled. “I should fucking clock him in the face again.”

“Y-you punched All Might?!” Izuku lifts his chin to stare incredulously at Katsuki.

“Damn right I did. But that’s beside the point. Why the fuck’s he mad?”

Izuku hides his face again, his voice muffled by Katsuki’s now damp shirt and his own sobs, “I w-was so mean t-to him. I told him I d-didn’t need him anymore and r-ran away, I-”

“Breathe, Dek- Izuku,” Katsuki whispers, brushing Izuku’s cheek with his fingers as Izuku begins to hyperventilate. “Breathe. He’s not mad, he’s probably just worried.” He better not be fucking mad.

“I-I have to t-talk to him too,”

“It can wait. Right now you need to fucking rest.”

They stay that way for a while, wrapped in the safety of each other’s arms as Izuku’s cries slowly start to dissipate. At some point, Katsuki isn’t sure when, traitorous tears start to roll down his own face. Izuku notices before he does, feeling the sudden moisture on his shoulder, and he tells him so.

“I’m not fucking crying,” Katsuki grumbles, though his voice is hoarse.

“It’s o-okay Kacchan,”

“Shit,” Now they’re both blubbering idiots.

Izuku squeezes Katsuki tighter as they cry together. Katsuki tries not to wince as he returns the gesture, his shoulder screaming in protest, but Izuku notices. Of course he fucking notices.

“K-Kacchan-,” Izuku’s voice is laced with unnecessary concern as he immediately loosens his grip and starts to pull back.

“Don’t,” Katsuki growls, rubbing his eyes, “Don’t fucking worry about me.”

Izuku sniffles and shakes his head, “I c-can’t help it.”

Katsuki heaves a sigh. “I know.”

Izuku places his shaky, scarred hands on either side of Katsuki’s face in a gentle caress that makes Katsuki’s heart fucking squeeze. When he finally lifts his eyes, he finds Izuku looking at him with a wobbly smile. His cheeks are tear-stained and there's a trace of something haunted behind his eyes, but it's undeniable that a weight has lifted from his shoulders.

Katskui quirks his lips in a half smile. Fuck, he’d missed Izuku.

Izuku yawns and lies back in the bed. “I’m tired again.”

“Well, get some sleep then, nerd,” Katsuki moves to slide back in his chair, but Izuku stops him, grabbing his hand.

“Wait! I- could-” Izuku bites his lip, “could you...stay with me?”

Katsuki squeezes his hand. “I’m not going anywhere, nerd. Someone has to keep your ass in line," he smirks.

Izuku laughs, the first real laugh Katsuki has heard in ages, and Katsuki thinks it might be his favorite sound.

“No, I mean here, next to me,” Izuku scoots over in the bed and pats the space next to him.

“I don’t think-”

“Just until I fall asleep,” Izuku pleads, “...please?”

Katsuki finally relents and slides in next to him. Izuku looks relieved, draping the blanket around them both and curling up to Katsuki’s uninjured side. Katsuki wraps his arm around Izuku’s waist, careful not to dislodge the bandages there. He briefly wonders why this feels so natural.

Izuku’s voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks next. “I- I’m scared, Kacchan.”

“I know. But everything’s gonna be fine."

“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

“No one’s gonna get hurt. We’re gonna figure this out, and we’re gonna figure it out together.”

“I really shouldn’t be here,” Izuku sighs.

“Shut the fuck up. You really wanna be out there? Where people are lookin’ to wring your neck at every turn?”

“Of course not! But that’s exactly why I should be. No one here is safe while I’m around.”

Izuku startles when Katsuki suddenly grabs his chin and lifts it up with his free hand to make Izuku look him in the eyes “Bullshit. I already told you, you can’t win this alone. So stop trying."

Izuku swallows hard, on the verge of tears again. Katsuki tucks Izuku's head under his chin.

"Saving people is how we win, remember? That means you gotta let us save you sometimes, too." Katsuki holds Izuku tight as he cries, gently combing his fingers through thick green curls.

“You should be here," Katsuki continues, "you belong here, Izuku." With me, he adds, but only in his thoughts.

Izuku stills and lifts his head from Katsuki’s chest to stare at him with wide, curious eyes. He's no longer crying. “Kacchan?”

“What?” Katsuki is confused as he watches Izuku’s cheeks flush a deep red.

“I belong with...you?”

Fuck, did he say that out loud?

Katsuki suddenly becomes very aware of their proximity and feels his own face heat.

Their faces are already inches apart, and Izuku is coming closer, cupping Katsuki's cheeks with freezing cold hands. He's close enough that Katsuki can feel Izuku’s heartbeat, his breath on his nose, and fuck, when did their legs tangle together?

Izuku’s thumb lightly strokes his cheekbone and Katsuki finds himself inadvertently leaning into his touch. His breath catches in his throat when he finally meets his gaze. Izuku’s eyes are soft and warm and he’s smiling, a real smile that is secretly Katsuki’s favorite, one that he hasn't seen in far too long. He decides he would sooner die than see it extinguished ever again.

He's embarrassed by his accidental confession, but something about the way Izuku is looking at him, with that soft gaze full of light and wonderment Katsuki knows is reserved only for him, makes the anxiety melt away. The eyes that used to infuriate him now leave him feeling warm and safe, like he has a place in this world, and he realizes there's nowhere he'd rather fucking be than right by Izuku's side.

"Did you mean that?" Izuku whispers, breaking him from his reverie.

“Yeah. Stay with me,” Katsuki grazes his fingers across Izuku's cheek. "...please."

Izuku's smile is breathtaking. It lights a fire in Katsuki's chest.

"I will," Izuku breathes, leaning in to close the distance between them.

Their lips meet halfway in a desperate kiss and a jolt of electricity courses through Katsuki's body. Izuku's hands tangle into Katsuki's hair and Katsuki cradles his face as they explore each other for the first time. It's messy and uncoordinated, but Izuku's lips are soft and inviting and nothing has ever felt so fucking right.

Katsuki's hold on Izuku's waist tightens, pulling him closer, but it's still not close enough. They've been through a decade of miscommunication and separation, unchecked feelings, and the debilitating fear of losing each other. Now that Izuku is here, safe in his arms, Katsuki wants nothing more than to stay in the warmth of this moment forever, to melt into each other and never let go again.

"K-Kacchan," Izuku pants as he slowly pulls away. Oh, right, breathing.

He presses his forehead to Katsuki's as they gasp for air, and they cling to each other as if the other could disappear at any moment.

Katsuki's head is spinning as he looks at Izuku. His cheeks have flushed deeper, lips kissed red and swollen, eyes blown wide as he stares in amazement.

"I missed you," Izuku whispers between heavy breaths.

"Me too,"

Katsuki tucks Izuku's head into the crook of his neck and holds him tight.

“I am….glad to be back,” Izuku murmurs, “it was terrifying out there. I was so exhausted."

No shit, Katsuki thinks.

"Do you want to...talk about it?"

"I-" Izuku pauses, considering. His voice is small when he says, "Maybe later. I don't...I don't want to think about it right now."

Katsuki laces the fingers of one hand with Izuku's and squeezes.

"Okay. But, uh, I'm here if you do. Want to talk or whatever." Katsuki tries his best to sound encouraging. Izuku tilts his head up and nods with a smile.

“Okay.”

There's still so much Katsuki wants to say, but he can't put it into words. He's always been better with actions. He thinks back on all that he said before Izuku passed out in his arms, and wonders if it was enough.

Out of the corner of his eye, Katsuki notices Izuku peering up at him.

“What are you staring at, nerd?” Katsuki smirks as Izuku averts his eyes, color blooming on his face again.

“I- I’m not, I just- thank you, Kacchan.”

"For what?"

“For everything.”

Katsuki shrugs. “I didn’t do shit."

"Yes you did," Izuku brushes a lock of hair behind Katsuki's ear, "you're here right now. You listened, you encouraged me, you made me feel safe enough to come back here. I wouldn’t have had the strength without you.”

Katsuki is at a loss for words.

"Todoroki was right, you know," Izuku says softly, "you're better than you think you are."

Katsuki feels his face flush and looks away. But then it dawns on him.

"You were listening to us?"

"Uh- just a little...only bits and pieces."

"You were awake? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to interrupt you," Izuku shrugs. "You and Todoroki never talk, it seemed important. Plus, I was so out of it I thought I was dreaming at first."

"So you were just eavesdropping like a creep?" He teases, snickering when Izuku buries his face in embarrassment.

"I'd rather talk to you than that Half and Half bastard, dumbass," Katsuki ruffles Izuku's hair.

"Sorry, Kacchan."

"Quit apologizing."

Normally he probably would be pissed, but there isn’t even a trace of anger in him right now.

"I'm not the only one who's reckless, by the way," Izuku playfully nudges Katsuki.

"I'm not fucking reckless."

Izuku frowns. "Kacchan, you were stabbed. And you tore open your wounds trying to get to me when you should've been taking it easy. You took off into battle without a second thought."

"Sounds familiar," Katsuki glares at him.

"I know. I admit I don't always think things through….and sometimes I think too much. I never put myself first. You made me realize that. I'm...going to try to work on it. But you can't deny that you do it sometimes too."

Katsuki is silent again.

"And when was the last time you ate? Or slept somewhere other than a tiny chair? You tell me I need to take better care of myself, but you don't do the same."

"I'm fine." Katsuki insists, but Izuku knows him better than he knows himself and sees right through the lie.

Katsuki sighs. Deep down, he knows Izuku and the old lady are right. Sometimes... he can be a dumbass and a hypocrite.

"My body…I told you, it moved on it's own. I just saw you in the air and fucking panicked. You were about to die," Katsuki’s voice shakes, “You were about to die, and it was like… like my entire fucking life flashed before my eyes. There was so much I needed to say to you, I couldn't handle the thought of losing you, Izuku. Especially before- before I had the chance to-, " Katsuki squeezes his eyes shut and grunts in an effort to hold back tears that were threatening to fall.

Katsuki feels Izuku's gentle touch on his cheek again and meets his gaze.

"I know. It's okay. Let's just agree that we're both idiots and try to be better, together. If not for ourselves, then for each other. I can't stand the thought of losing you either, Kacchan," Izuku's eyes are impossibly soft

"I really do appreciate everything you said, Kacchan. It means so much to me. I know it's not easy for you to do that."

"I meant every fucking word," Katsuki says firmly.

"I know. And I forgave you a long time ago, Kacchan. Yeah, things were rocky for a while, but I see you. I see how you've changed, and how much effort you've been putting in. I feel safest and strongest when I'm with you. You're the most amazing person I've ever known, and you always will be."

Izuku's eyes well up with tears again as he smiles, and Katsuki feels like his heart could burst out of his chest. He presses a gentle kiss to Izuku's palm and cups his face, tracing his lips with his thumb.

"You make me stronger," Katsuki stares deep into his eyes.

Katsuki feels his brain short circuit as Izuku presses a gentle, sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. Katsuki holds him there as he pulls away, chasing his lips with his own.

This kiss is softer and less hurried, but just as passionate. They're completely enveloped in each other as they revel in the fact that this is real. There’s nowhere in the world either of them would rather be. Katsuki didn’t realize just how badly he needs Izuku until he was gone, and thinks that, maybe, Izuku feels the same way.

It feels like it’s been an eternity when they slowly break apart, and Katsuki can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.

Izuku lays his head on Katsuki's chest and cuddles up to his side. Katsuki idly strokes his back, just relishing the moment.

Fuck, he’d missed Izuku.

"I don't mind if- uh, if you keep calling me Deku, by the way," Izuku mutters..

"You don't like it when I say your name?"

"No! No, that's not it- I mean it is a little weird, but uh- I like it? Hearing it in your voice, I mean," Izuku rambles on, and Katsuki finds that he's even missed that too.

"I just, um, I mean- Deku is fine too. It has a different meaning for us both now, you know? It stopped being an insult a long time ago. And, uh, it feels, um...special, I guess? I don't know. My point is, either is fine. I don't want you to feel like...like you're disrespecting me, or something," Izuku's face is bright red as he notices Katsuki smirking at him.

"You're such a nerd," Katsuki laughs when Izuku scowls, and presses a kiss to his forehead, “I’ll call you whatever the fuck you want me to call you.”

“Either is good. I promise.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see then, huh?”

"Yeah," Izuku smiles, then his brows furrow and he pauses. "Katsuki."

They both frown and Katsuki shakes his head.

"Nope. Too weird. I'd rather be Kacchan forever,” Katsuki grimaces.

“I think so too,” Izuku laughs.

"You should sleep, nerd." Katsuki murmurs.

"Mm, yeah,” Izuku yawns, “You should too, Kacchan."

"Yeah, yeah."

"But you'll still be here when I wake up, right?" Izuku looks up at him with pleading eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Izuku breathes a sigh of relief and snuggles closer.

"Tomorrow...tomorrow is gonna be hard."

"Nah. I'll beat the shit out of anyone who tries anything funny. Like I said, we'll get through this.”

"Together?"

"Together."

-------

bonus:

Sunlight is filtering through the blinds of the room's tiny window when Katsuki awakens. He feels more rested than he has in ages. Izuku is still curled up at his side with his head on his chest, snoring softly, and Katsuki can’t help but smile.

“Nice, bro!” someone whispers from the doorway. Katsuki’s head whips up to see Shitty Hair and Sparky, grinning at him with their thumbs up.

Katsuki is filled with white hot rage as his face flushes. If it wasn't for the fact that Izuku has him pinned, he would beat the shit out of those assholes.

“See ya, loverboy!” Kaminari whistles as they bolt out of the room.

Oh, they are dead meat when Katsuki’s hands are free.

A/N: I wrote this while listening to "I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie and "Make You Mine (acoustic)" by PUBLIC-highly recommend them if you're looking to yearn lmao

The large block of italicized text is meant to be a flashback- I hope that was clear :')

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!! Feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always <3

Also- shout out to @sheiireen for her very helpful advice on this. She's amazingly talented, you should check her out!!

#i even capitalized all of my sentences wow #ahhhh im so nervous to post this hfewufnj #i hope yall liked it!!#anyways bkdk canon lmao #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfic #my fic #birdie writes #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #kirishima eijirou #iida tenya #reblogs are appreciated 💕

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bump1nthen1ght · 3 years

Text

I’m Still Hurting (F!Reader/M!Orc)

Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst

Warnings: (Almost) Infidelity

Word Count: 3376 words

Summary: Your boyfriend does something he’d never thought he’d do, and you’re left to try and pick up the pieces.

Request: can I make a request? About an angst story between an m!orc and f!human. I like the idea of like maybe the orc sorta misses being with other orc women or like she can't fulfill his needs and she hears this. I like the idea of almost infidelity

A/N: Surprise bitches! I’m alive! And back with some delicious angst for y’all!! I really loved doing this request, as I don’t often write full on angst. I am also working on a fluffy request at the moment, if some of you would like some nice comfort after this haha. Hope y’all enjoy!

Honey ❤️: Babe

Honey ❤️: Babe please answer the phone I need to talk to you

Honey ❤️: I know you’re angry, you should be angry, but please talk to me

Honey ❤️: Baby please

“____? Is that my phone?” Brynn yells from the kitchen, already mixing another cocktail for you to down. Her bright red horns peek over the living room divider, bouncing back as she grabs the alcohol from the fridge. Still looking at your bright screen, you don’t even have the energy to respond.

“____?” You throw your phone away as she peaks her head over, giving her a shameful look. Brynn furrows her brow, pulling away from the kitchen island and putting one hand on her hip. “Was that him?” With your eyes darting back and forth from the pillow you shoved your phone under and Brynn’s face, you nod.

“Y-yeah, it was him.”

Brynn sighs, fiddling with her hands.

“Listen, I don’t want to tell you what to do, especially not tonight, but I just think-”

“No, no, it’s alright. You’re right, you’re right.” A jolt hits you as your phone vibrates, the vibrations rumbling through the fabric and stabbing right into your stomach. You force yourself to look away, fiddling with your fingers. Brynn shoots you a pitiful look, you’re sure of it, even as your efuse to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t talk to him tonight. Not right now, not when I’m like….this.” A slow, tired breath escapes you. “I’ll make him wait, just like he did.”

The coach cushion bends as Brynn sits next to you, rubbing your shoulder as she leans in for a side each. You accept it, your body like a deadweight as you let yourself go slack in her arms.

“Do you want anything? Chocolate, maybe a movie? I’ve got some leftover cheesecake?”

“A movie sounds nice.” You murmur, nodding against her chest. Brynn hums, her tail coming up and massaging your lower back as she kisses you on the forward.

“Of course, your choice. Do you want me to get your drink?”

You nod once more, letting Brynn untangle herself from the hug and laying back on the couch, grabbing the comfiest blanket and the remote. You quickly flick through you and Brynn’s ‘most watched’ section on Netflix. You need something new tonight, something to get your mind off.

All your regular comfort movies are romances, after all.

By the time Brynn comes back, a rum and coke and a carton of ice cream in hand, you’re already snuggled into a blanket burrito. She hands you a spoon and the glass, which you wordlessly accept. She sits down and throws a hand over your shoulder, trying her best to massage the left over tension in your neck. You sink into the feeling, pressing on your movie of choice.

“Mad Max: Fury Road, huh? I’ve heard this movie’s great.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “It is.”

And chocked full of shitty men getting what they deserve.

As the opening title plays, the deep voice of Tom Hardy kicking the movie off, you snuggle into Brynn’s side. Your phone buzzes again, but it’s drowned out by screaming men and loud engines. Just how you like it.

Honey ❤️: Could you call me in the morning?

Honey ❤️: I’ll leave you alone for the night, I’m sorry

Honey ❤️: I love you

--------

Waruck sighs, his fingers shaking as another small ‘message delivered’ shows up on his screen. No response, just like the last 15 texts. He finds himself typing out another anyway.

I love you so fucking much

It reads, but is quickly deleted. Waruck clicks off his phone, but it stays in his hand, taunting him. The black mirror shows a sad, pathetic boyfriend, getting the silent treatment.

He falls back onto his bed, exhausted from a day of doing nothing. Nothing but worrying and feeling guilty, with the occasional flicking through TV channels and texting his girlfriend.

It’s getting late, his bedside clock cutting through the dark of his room to remind him he’s been up for almost 16 hours now. Waruck slides a hand through his hair and gets up. He’s going to have to camp out in front of the TV, because he knows he won’t be able to sleep tonight.

Not after what he did.

--------

He had gone out with friends. Friends from highschool who he still occasionally chatted with, friends he didn’t even really like anymore. But the past two weeks had him feeling oddly...nostalgic, like something was out of place. So when his buddy Simon had invited him to the bar, he had eagerly accepted.

He remembers grabbing his coat, you sending him a text to have fun, and him not replying. He didn’t know why he didn’t respond, he still doesn’t. The two of you had been going strong for almost 8 months now, with only the occasional hiccup that most couples have. So why didn’t he respond? What made him casually throw your sweet remark to the side like that?

Waruck shakes his head, trying to focus on the movie in front of him. Now isn’t the time to get existential over tiny shit like that, not with how the rest of the night went.

When he met up with the group, Waruck immediately knew that tonight was going to be different. His current group of friends are quite different, less rowdy, than his old posse. At only 10 PM, three of the guys we’re already halfway drunk, saving a spot in line from him outside the noisy bar. The electronic music that thrummed through the concrete and out onto the street reminded him of how much time has passed, how different his usual party-scene is now, and he revels in that feeling of former good-times.

Simon greets him with a hug, the guys shouting his name as he joins them. From the corner of his eye, he sees a gaggle of girls giggling.

And that's where it started.

An orc woman, dressed in a beautiful black dress, winks as she passes him at the bar. Simon nudges his side as Waruck takes a drink.

“Dude, that chick is totally sending you the look”

Waruck furrows his brow, stirring his drink.

“What’s ‘the look’?” He says, taking another sip of his scotch.

Simon rolls his eyes. “The ‘come hit on me’ look dude! That’s the sign you need to go for it!”

“I have a girlfriend, Simon.”

Simon scoffs, throwing his hand out dramatically. “What, that human chick?”

Waruck has half of mind to set down his drink and ask Simon what he means with that sarcastic tone of voice. It pisses him off, but he says nothing, just rolls his eyes.

“No offense, bro, she looks cute and all. But is she really worth missing out on some great ass?”

Waruck grimaces and shoots Simon a dirty look. “Jesus, Simon, are you serious?”

“I’m serious! When was the last time you had fun, y’know? Everyone knows an orc chick can throw down, wild-style.” Simon nudges him in his side, playfully, but it only serves to make Waruck more annoyed. “C’mon, you seriously don’t miss it?”

Waruck should tell him a firm ‘No’, finish his drink, and leave. He should call a cab and go home, call you and rant about his gross misogynistic friend from high school.

But he doesn’t.

The part of him, the part of him that feels slightly off, wonders if this is it. It had been a long time since he had been with another orc. You were a great girlfriend, but so different from in so many ways. Is that it?

Maybe relieving the old days will satisfy whatever longing he has, and then it will leave forever. Would that be so bad, to let loose for one night?

Waruck feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns to see the orc girl from earlier; The one who sent him ‘the look’.

“Hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?”

Between the boosted bass of the music and the orc woman pressing up against him, Waruck doesn’t notice Simon slip away, giving him a pat on the back.

Leave, say no, tell her she’s got the wrong guy, you fucking idiot. His consciousness yells.

“U-uh, sure.” He stutters.

She introduces herself as Naz and says she noticed him the minute he walked in.

“Hard not to notice the best-dressed guy in the room.” She flirts, pressing herself closer and up against him.

He has a thousand little moments like that, to say something; To pull back and apologize, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he slips into a corner booth with her, purposely ignoring the texts you send to check up on him. You had remembered that he wasn’t sure how much fun this night would be, and routinely checked in if he needed a convenient excuse to leave early. You’re sweet like that.

Naz is sweet too. She's a great conversationalist, with a good head on her shoulders and an interesting career in zoology. Waruck could see the two of you being good friends.

Is that why she seems so alluring? Because she’s so similar to you? Waruck’s mind does mental gymnastics to try and justify his hesitance, his compliance in believing that maybe she has something different after all, even though he knows that isn’t true.

The two of them talk for a solid hour and a half, Naz slowly inching herself closer and putting a hand on his knee. His body screams in resistance, his stomach tying up into knots, but he doesn’t push her away.

“So, I’ve got a room not too far from here. What do you say we go make ourselves a bit more comfortable?”

This is his final chance to find an excuse and say goodnight. To run back home and forget this ever happened. But the words are caught in his throat and he’s further silenced by the nearby whooping of his asshole friends.

“Yeah, Waruck! Get some!”

Naz chuckles and mistakenly reads his seething anger at himself with embarrassment for his friends. She leans in, grabbing his jaw, and whispers.

“Let's give them a show, huh?” Then, she kisses him.

The noises of the bar, his friends, and Naz all drown away as her lips mold into his. Waruck’s body goes rigid, terrified as time seems to freeze as he kisses someone who is not his girlfriend.

But all of that stops when your ringtone begins to blast in his pocket. It should be near silent when compared to the pounding bar music, but that familiar jingle seems to cut deep into his skin and skewer his heart. Waruck pulls away with a quick jerk, Naz almost falling over as he pushes himself into his seat and away from her body-heat. Every nerve is a light with tension as he quickly pulls out his phone.

There on the screen is a picture of you, your contact name, “Sweetie❤️”, shining through the dimmed light of that bar. Waruck breathes heavily, feeling like he’s just run an emotional marathon, stuck in his own head until Naz slides away from him.

“Wait, hold on, do you have a girlfriend?”

Waruck looks at her, then looks at his still-ringing phone, then back to Naz. He nods.

Naz's face curls up into obvious disgust, quickly directing her body to be as far away from him as possible. “Fucking hell, dude. What the fuck?” She grabs her handbag and stomps out of the booth, not before throwing her drink in his face and telling him to go to hell.

He almost watches her move across the bar, most likely to go complain to her friends about the asshole she just wasted the last 2 hours chatting up, but all he can focus on is your picture on his phone.

--------

Waruck practically runs out of the bar, his whole body covered in sweat and his mind racing a mile a minute.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He felt like a 15 year old, goaded into another shitty prank just because he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, buying into their weird bullshit about humans. Was he seriously going to throw away your wonderful relationship over one night, over one urge?

Naz had been strikingly beautiful, in all the ways he was taught an orc like himself should look for. She could probably get any guy in that club tonight, but she wasn’t you. You’re different, but in so many cool, inconsequential, uniquely-you ways.

Waruck doesn’t know how long he walks before he sits down outside a cafe, trying to collect his racing emotions. He feels gross, sticky with the kind of sweat you only get after too much alcohol and too many people. The screen of his phone seems to reflect every smudge and finger-print as he swipes it to unlock it, finally getting the courage to read your text messages.

They start off normal, spread out over several hours. The occasional “How are the guys?” and “Hope you are having fun! Just let me know when you get home safe.” before dropping off into nothing. Right up until 20 minutes ago, where you send a short and curt text that has his heart dropping to his stomach.

Sweetie❤️: Can you call me right now?

Sweetie❤️: Waruck, I need to talk to you

Sweetie❤️: Are you still at the bar?

After that is a notification of your missed call from earlier and Waruck can’t help but feel guilt stir in his gut.

It could be nothing, something unrelated to what he almost did tonight. But the notification he gets from his Instagram says otherwise. It says a mutual of his tagged him in a photo 30 minutes ago.

Waruck feels like vomiting when he opens up Simon’s story and sees a shaky picture of Naz, draped over him in the corner booth, with him looking all too happy to have her there. The caption reads

“At least someone’s getting lucky tonight 🤣🤣 #BoysNight20XX”

But what comes next is even worse; An even blurrier photo of Naz kissing him, both of their eyes closed as she almost sits in his lap.

Waruck can’t even look at the caption, quickly exiting out of the app and calling you.

He needs to explain himself.

But what will he say?

The phone rings, rings, rings….

Waruck waits with bated breath, thinking you’re going to let it go to voicemail, but you answer. There is no cheerful “Hi Babe” or even a tired and drawn-out “Hey.” Instead all Waruck hears is a shaky sigh, waiting for an explanation.

The words stay caught in Warucks throat, trying to find a way to maneuver and swing around to a solid excuse, a lie he hopes you won’t catch.

But he can’t, he can’t. Not to you.

So you make it easy for him, like you always do, and start the conversation off instead.

“Were you flirting with that girl?”

Waruck’s mind doesn’t give him a choice, the truth already spilling out like a tidal wave.

“Yes.”

Waruck hears you suck in a breath, before you shakily ask once more,

“Did you kiss her? Did you kiss her back?”

“Yes.”

There's 15 seconds of brutal silence as Waruck sits with his confession. In the moment, Waruck feels like he can hear your pounding heartbeat through the receiver.

You hang up.

---------

You hate the weather outside for two reasons.

One: You had far too much rum last night to enjoy any amount of sunlight. And,

Two: On a terrible morning like this one, it feels unfair that there aren't any dramatic thunder storms.

The bell rings on the cafe door as you walk in, causing you to wince as you pull down your sunglasses.

Thank god for the low lighting of these cafes.

You rub your brow, eyes scanning the menu above the bar. Some caffeine should do you good, at least with your headache.

But when you spot him, tucked away at a table, tapping his foot, all that aching pain seems to fall to your subconscious. Before you can meet eyes, you look away, forcing yourself to re-read the menu and blink away your tears.

You face the inevitable when you put in your order, turning to walk towards Waruck. He’s locked his gaze into the wood grain of the table, his large body hunched up and small, like he wants to sink into the shadows. He looks like shit, with large bags under his eyes and a nervous tension in his face.

He startles when you pull out a chair, sitting down across from him, but quickly curls back into his ball of shame. He looks so guilty, a small part of you wants to comfort him and tell him it’ll be alright.

You punch away that part of you with a baseball bat.

“Why did you flirt with her?”

Waruck says nothing. He looks at you with his tired eyes, big and racked with guilt.

I don’t know. They whisper.

Your fingers dig into your jeans, anger boiling up and through your nerves.

That’s not a good enough answer.

“Were you,” You suck in a breath, trying to control your volume, “Were you going to sleep with her? If I hadn’t called you, would you have-”

“No!” Waruck nearly shouts, shaking the table as his knees bang against the bottom, but he recoils once he sees the way you flinch. “No, I wasn’t going to.”

Those pesky tears press against your eyelids once more. You can feel your nails digging indents into your thighs.

“I don’t know if I can believe that.” You whisper, failing to catch the crack in your voice.

Waruck’s brow furrows as he nervously chews his bottom lip. He tries to meet your gaze, but you seem to look right through him.

“I know.” Waruck sighs, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

There's a tenuous silence; Waruck tries to find the words to fix things while you focus on the details of the cafe walls, examining every nook and cranny as you try not to sob.

“I-I understand if you don’t trust me. I understand if you hate me, or you want to break up. But please, please know that I love you, and that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been kicking myself over flirting with that girl because I love you so fucking much. I-”

You hold up your hand, stopping Waruck in his tracks. He realizes how loud he’s been talking and that people are beginning to stare. He huddles back into his corner, tucking his hands into his lap. You let out a long breath. Waruck takes the risk and looks up.

When his eyes finally meet yours, he realizes just how sad you look. A treacherous tear has begun falling down your cheek, sending a lightning bolt of remorse into Waruck’s chest.

You take in another deep breath, wiping away the tear with the back of your hand. You look at Waruck, exhausted.

“I don’t,” You falter, but catch yourself, “I don’t want to break up with you. I just don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet.”

Waruck nods, fiddling with his fingers.

“Of course, I get it-”

“I’m not done.” Waruck quickly shuts his mouth. “You hurt me, Waruck. Hurt me in a way I don’t think I’ll ever forget. So I need time. Time before I can even see you again without thinking,” You hiccup, but this time you let the wave of emotion hit you, full force. “Without thinking about that night.”

A lady calls out your order, but neither of you makes a move. You sit in each other's presence, trying to wrap yourselves around the mess of emotions, trying to read the others mind without seeming too obvious.

You both sit here, in the presence of something that's been broken, damaged in a way that’s cut the heart of your chest and slams them on the table. There’s a crack that runs down between you two, inching open more and more with each breath.

But somehow, somehow, you both think you have a chance of fixing it.

#my writing #reader insert #monster x reader #female reader #monster romance #orc x reader #angst #orc

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age-of-flower-power · 2 years

Text

Give Love a Chance (J.T.K)- Chapter 6

Pairing: Jake Kizska x f!Reader

Summary: What happens when an overtly quirky hopeless-romantic girl who’s given up on love is confronted by a strikingly handsome bad boy in a band? What can these two learn from each-other and how can they both work to improve each-other’s lives, while also spiraling within the intense drama that unfolds between their love? Why don’t you just read to find out, rom-com style.

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: none for his chapter

A/N: Ughh these two lovebirds are going to kill me. I find that I really enjoy writing softer fics like this because I'm a sucker for love and I love have so many ideas for really crazy fics, but they always turn out to be so light and lovely anyway :)

Just a reminder: my ask box is open and I am taking requests!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, okay. Don’t come for me.

chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5

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It had been a few days since your date with Jake Kiszka. The weather, although it was only early autumn, began to seep in a little more. You could start to see the leaves going from a nice green to different hues of warm colors from outside the window in your room. It was nice, you loved this time of year. It did shift your mood a little, however.

You had been keeping busy with writing, jotting down ideas and outlines of things to cover next, but you felt the world sort of slow down around you too. It was like, whenever you sat down to actually write, you couldn’t help but check your phone. Annie had mentioned to you a few times about how you seemed over-eager to write, and maybe that was why you couldn’t do it, but you knew the truth. Your head was in the clouds when it should’ve been grounded in reality.

“You know,” Annie started upon returning home from her day-job, throwing her keys onto the kitchen table as she approached you from where you perched on the couch, laptop open in your lap, “I think we need to do a grocery run.”

You chewed your cheek, watching the type-bar flash at you from the brightness illuminating off the screen. The stupid thing was annoying you to no-end so you grumbled, closing the lid when nothing came to you, shifting your body to face Annie now.

“I think you’re right. I feel like I need to get out or I'll waste away here.” You told her. Annie smiled, rubbing her hands together to get some warmth out of them.

“Great! But you’re driving. It’s getting colder out there and I don’t feel like freezing my hands off while gripping the wheel, ya know?” She was always like this, a mild inconvenience didn’t bode well for her.

“Annie, it’s like…” You looked outside, then pulled out your phone from the front pocket of the hoodie you were wearing, “60 degrees outside. How are you already cold?” You snorted, pocketing your phone again. Annie crossed her arms and pouted at you, tapping her foot.

“I'm not from here! You know that! It’s getting closer to sweater weather and I’m not excited.” She replied. Unlike you, Annie didn’t love any cold weather at all. You were surprised she had lived here this long just on account of the fact she practically shriveled up whenever the temperatures dropped below freezing.

“Well I am. Halloween is coming up in a few weeks. I thought you loved going out to see all the cute costumes kids come up with?” You rose from your position on the couch, passing her to go put on something that looked at least presentable to the public eye. Pajamas and a sweatshirt often didn’t make the cut.

Annie stuck her tongue out at you when you passed, waiting for you to get dressed and grab your purse so you two could go. Grocery runs were always fun together, but you also made a mental note of other things you might need to pick up while out and about.

When you returned to Annie, dressed in something fairly decent to run errands in, the two of you left for your car. You hadn’t driven it in awhile, everything in town was close enough to usually walk to anyway like your editor’s office, or a few restaurants and bars, and even your favorite book store. It was convenient for you to be able to get out on foot every once and awhile, but that didn’t mean a car wasn’t necessary. The grocery store wasn’t as close as everything else though. Annie’s parents lived a few towns over, so when inevitably you did need your car, that was typically the longest haul you could handle making. The topic of your family was… well unimportant for now.

The two of you settled into your shitty car and took off not long after. You didn’t even notice your phone chime from inside your purse, the music Annie was shuffling through from the passenger’s seat was too loud.

------------

You had left to get groceries and other necessities a few hours ago. By the time you and Annie stumbled into your shared apartment (many bags in tow since neither of you believed in taking two trips) you were glad you had gotten out.

The store wasn’t busy by any means but it still took you a while to peruse and get basic foods to live off of. Not to mention, you both had stopped by a convenience store to stock up again on some products for the bathroom. After an afternoon of adulting, putting it all away, and sorting through what was yours and Annie’s you hadn’t checked your phone once.

Sometimes you forgot it existed, and sometimes it was the only thing on your mind. It really depended on what your mind was focusing on in the moment, but either way you remember it existed eventually.

Such as now, as you placed a fresh tube of toothpaste in the bathroom sink and threw out the old one, you walked back into your room to see your purse laid haphazardly on your bed, the contents spilling out. You must’ve thrown it there when you were tidying up…

You walked over, pulling your phone out from underneath the other miscellaneous items and tapping the screen to watch as it flashed on.

There were a few texts from your friends in a group chat they had made a while back, mostly directed at Annie. You ignored those in favor of reading through a text sent from none other than Jake himself.

Jake (from the bar):

Hey, I'm not doing anything tonight. Practice got out early. Can I come over?

Sent, 4:43pm

You read it over steadily, checking the time at the top right corner of your phone to see just how much time had passed since he sent the message. It was now nearing 6:30pm, meaning you hadn’t read the message in over an hour and a half. You scolded yourself but easily forgave yourself too as you typed a reply.

You:

Sure! I don’t have anything planned though, is that okay?

Sent, 6:29pm

Normally you would chuck your phone to the side and wait for a reply, but for some reason you were eager to see him so you stood there on the edge of your bed for a few minutes and watched as the ellipsis popped up and disappeared a few times. You chewed your cheek in hesitation before finally:

Jake (from the bar)

That’s okay, trust me. I'm not really up for anything anyway.

Sent, 6:33pm

You were weak mentally, you couldn’t help the little cheer that came out of your mouth as you typed back. You prayed you weren’t responding too fast, but honestly he probably didn’t care.

You:

Just give me half an hour and you can head over, xoxo

Sent, 6:34pm

Jake responded to that with a thumbs up. You dropped your phone back onto your bed and looked around your room, doing a mental once-over in case anything looked out of place… it didn’t seem too bad so you shrugged, turning on your heel to walk out of your room and into the kitchen to inspect that. It wasn’t like everything needed to be neat and tidy, but you definitely got a little frazzled if things weren’t in the correct places you liked to keep them.

You spotted Annie on the couch applying mascara with a hand-held mirror, her legs folded under herself as she pampered her face with makeup.

“Where are you off to?” You asked her, watching as he brought the mirror closer to inspect face carefully. Her lips pursed at the image of herself she deemed ‘cute’, turning to you.

“Out with our friends. Didn’t you see the text messages? They wanna grab drinks.” She told you, placing the mirror down on the couch cushion next to her. You pushed your glasses up, fixing them on the bridge of your nose from where they usually slid down.

“Oh, uhm,” you walked over, plopping down next to her. She moved her makeup bag to make room for you. “Jake is coming over so, I don’t think I’ll be going out tonight, actually.” You said, trying to come off more casual to soften the reaction you knew it would gain from her.

Annie gawked at you, slapping your arm. You winced from the sting and glared at her but she was unapologetic.

“Look at you! Tell me all the details tomorrow morning! I don’t think I’m staying tonight… ugh!” She whined, packing up her makeup and things with a faux frown. “I can’t believe I'm missing this! You have to keep me updated-”

“I will, but you have to stay sober enough tonight to remember to text me if you end up going over to your boyfriend's house-” You lectured her. Annie rolled her eyes, showcasing her beautiful long lashes.

“He has a name.” She reminded you. You ignored her, pinching her arm.

“And for the record, nothing is going to happen between Jake and I. We’re just hanging out.” It was Annie’s turn to flinch now, whining as you pinched rather harshly. She rubbed the sore spot on her arm.

“That’s how it starts, (Y/N). Hanging out turns into casual sex.” She forewarned. You shook your head at her and made a face, clearly not feeding into her terrible advice.

“But this time it’s different, Annie. In terms of intimacy, he hasn’t even alluded to anything of that kind!” You told her. Annie looked you up and down, shrugged, and stood from the couch.

“If you say so.” She said. You watched her clean up, leaving to deposit her things back in her room probably. She walked back out, throwing a coat on as she made her way to the door. “I’ll see you later, okay? Use protection.” She told you.

You flipped her off, sinking back into the couch with your arms crossed until you heard the door close and lock. Once you were sure she was out of earshot for good you moved to clean the living room of anything laying around, making sure the kitchen was in order as well. You didn’t want to admit it, but it had been a few long months since any guy beside’s Annie’s boyfriend had been inside your apartment, and you didn’t want Jake to assume the worst of you if it was a mess. Well, a mess by your standards.

After double-checking the interior of your living space you went to freshen up a bit. That entailed tying your hair up and washing your face. After a once-over in the mirror you nodded, approving yourself.

You checked your phone for the time, noting you had about a five minute mark left before you were to be expecting Jake. You chewed your lip.

Should I do anything else? You thought to yourself. Well, there wasn’t much else to do. It wasn’t like you were trying to impress him. He had been in here once before, although it was just on the couch. But still, if he wanted to deviate from the living room at any point in the night, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself with dirty clothes or papers lying around.

It didn’t matter. Before you had time to doubt yourself there was a knock at your door. You heaved a giant sigh, slapped your cheek gently once to make sure you weren’t dreaming, and made your way to the door to open it steadily. Jake was here, it was fine, and you were happy to see him, you reminded yourself.

As your hand twisted the knob and pulled open the door your heart leaped from it’s chest. God that was embarrassing… you flushed. Standing at the entrance, same as a few nights before, was Jake. Only, this time he wasn’t leaning cooly or smug in his mannerisms. He just smiled at you. You smiled back, taking in his appearance.

He appeared to be wearing an actual t-shirt this time, no open buttons to show off his chest. It was loose fitting on his slender frame… you also noticed his shirt was tucked somewhat into the bleached jeans he wore, the sides of the fabric pooling off and around his hips. You noticed the chelsea boots that went with his casual attire, remarking on how a man could even pull something like that off… mm, blue really did suit him… You snapped yourself out of it.

“Can I come in?” Jake questioned from where he stood at the door, smiling when he noticed you re-focus your gaze off of his form and to his eyes. You chuckled, trying to steady your rapidly approaching heart-beat.

“Of course,” you stepped to the side as he took a few steps in, “welcome back.” You joked, closing the door behind him. Jake looked around again, eye flickering to each corner. When he looked back at you he ran a hand through his hair, the other sliding into his front pocket.

“So.” he said, clearing his throat.

“So…” You remarked, rocking back and forth on your toes. “Did you want to maybe watch a movie? Or uhm,” you pushed up your glasses, “Sorry, I’m not used to this.” You said, giving up on formulating ideas.

Jake chuckled from beside you, taking his hand from his pocket to reach out and softly take your own into his hand. “It’s okay, if i'm honest, me either.” He pulled you close, kissing your temple gently. “A movie sounds good to me.”

You smiled despite your nerves, stepping away, hand in hand, backpedaling to lead him steadily to the living room. Once you were there you plopped onto the plush cushion of the couch, Jake easing into the spot next to you.

“What sort of movies do you like? I don’t really think I’ve ever asked.” You said, letting go of his hand to grab the remote and flip onto Netflix. You directed your gaze away from him to scroll through your account briefly. Jake hummed from beside you, considering your question.

“Well, I don’t normally get to pick in my household so, I suppose that leaves it up to you for options. I can decide from there.” You made a mental note of that. Usually Jake, from what you’d noticed over the course of dates and time spent texting, liked to make the decisions for the two of you. However, now he seemed to leave it open for you to decide. You were flattered, but also appalled.

The discography on your Netflix account was embarrassing. It was filled with recommendations for rom-coms, dramas, and other romantic interests. You definitely had a problem, and now Jake was seeing your frantically scroll to cover up the many recommendations Netflix threw at you.

“You know, I think this explains a lot about you.” Jake said with a light laugh, throwing his arm to rest on the back of the couch while he watched you scroll. You stopped looking through the recommendations to throw a playful glare at him, huffing.

“You caught me, I'm hopeless when it comes to that kind of stuff.” You told him, setting the remote in his lap now. You didn’t want to pick, too afraid of what you’d choose in front of him. Jake took it gingerly, throwing a smirk your way as it was his turn to scroll aimlessly.

“I'm not complaining, babe. It’s cute, you like what you like. It just makes sense to me.” Your heart almost shot out of your chest, you were pretty sure. Did he just use a petname? Babe?! You pushed up your glasses, having to look away from him for a moment.

“Well, what do you usually watch then?” You asked, turning your attention to the tv to watch him ghost over film after film. Jake tapped the remote on his knee from beside you, shrugging.

“I like comedies, or action, but I'm not opposed to chick flicks.” He told you. You started to bounce your knee. Jake clicked on something starring Matthew Mchonahey, settling for a 90s romance story. You’d seen it hundreds of times before, but watching Jake appease you was endearing.

“This is a good choice, I love his accent.” You told him, shifting your body to face the screen fully, leaning back into the plush cushions of the couch. Jake scooted a little closer, so his arm was behind your head now.

“I liked him a lot in Dazed and Confused, if that counts.” He said, watching the opening scene alongside you. You laughed, keeping your hands in your lap.

“It is a good stoner film, if you’re into that kinda stuff.” You replied. Jake huffed, breathing through his nose.

“Not anymore.” Was all he said.

You two settled into the couch to watch the film flicker on the television, relaxing into each other. Eventually, a few minutes into the film, Jake had slipped off his boots and set them aside, one leg hanging off the couch. His other leg was perched on the end of where he sat, knee in the air. He seemed cozy enough, especially since his hand that was behind your hair lazily twirled your ponytail around, fiddling with your soft strands in his finger. You subconsciously rested back into the feeling of his hand, enjoying the gentle gesture.

As the movie progressed, you two sort of melted into each other at some point. Jake’s arm began to fall asleep so as smooth as he possibly could, he let it fall to drape over your shoulders. You tucked yourself into his side, your legs pulled underneath you as you leaned into him.

From this position you could feel his chest breath. You began to focus on him more and more as the images passed on the screen, deciding since you had seen this movie enough to instead focus on the way Jake was when he was with you. He was so relaxed, holding you ever so gently and letting you cuddle into the warmth he provided.

It was so nice in fact, that halfway through the film you began to nod off. You didn’t want to fall asleep, but he was so warm and comfortable to rest against you couldn’t help yourself. Jake didn’t mention it, he just pulled you closer to his chest and let your head fall against his shoulder. You nuzzled into it, letting your eyes fall closed as he began to rub circles along the sleeve of your sweatshirt with his thumb.

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You didn’t nap for long. It was impossible for you to stay asleep when you felt so much movement under you. You stirred slightly, eyes blinking open in your haze to notice you were still leaning on Jake’s shoulder, only his arm was reaching to grab something to pull over you.

You opened your eyes fully now to the dimly lit light of the movie to see Jake shaking out and trying to gracefully place a throw-blanket from the couch over you. You nuzzled your nose into his shoulder as you tried to wake yourself up more from whatever sleep-cycle had overtaken you while you were out.

“Shit sorry, did I wake you?” You heard Jake ask, his voice a nice and deep rumble from what you could hear while buried into his shoulder.

“Mmmm,” you replied, “No… I didn’t even mean to fall asleep.” You told him, letting your head rise from his shoulder so you could see his face now.

While lifting your head to face Jake you noticed things were a little blurry. You squinted, blinking to clear your vision with no avail. Jake watched you try to adjust your eyesight with a chuckle, endeared by you. Seemingly out of nowhere, the arm that wasn’t wrapped around you lifted your folded lenses to eye level.

“You sort of knocked out, so I slid these off so you wouldn’t bend them.” Jake said, sliding his hand out from behind you to unfold the pair of glasses and pass them over. You took them slowly, sliding them onto your face and blinking once your eyes were adjusted properly to the dim lighting of the living room.

“That’s… sweet. Wow, uhm, thank you.” You said, trying to hide just how in awe you were of such a simple little action. Jake shrugged, sitting up to shake his elbow out a little. He must’ve been sore from holding you in that position as long as he did, you thought. You turned your head to the television to see a different movie was playing, you also took note of how the volume seemed to be turned down…

“Jake,” you muttered since your voice still seemed to be warming up, “did you let me fall asleep, finish that movie… turn the volume down… and start something else to watch while you waited for me to wake up?” You blinked, trying to calculate in your sleepy reality what all had happened while you were out. Jake seemed almost sheepish, scratching his chin in thought as he surmised an answer for you.

“For starters,” Jake dropped his hand to his knee and flexed it, “you were out for an hour or two.” He squinted to recount what else he should explain. “I didn’t want to get up since you looked really content to just nap, and I also wasn’t sure how light of a sleeper you were,” you watched him fidget with a stray thread on his pants, “So I turned the volume down so you could sleep better.”

Was it possible to be absolutely smitten and also feel terrible at the same time? Probably.

You ran a hand over your face and under your glasses, scratching at your eyes to wipe away the sleep now that you had been up for a few moments. “Oh my god, that’s so sweet-” you dropped your hands to stare at him, “But I feel terrible. I didn't mean to use you as a human pillow!”

Jake laughed at you, pulling your hands from your lap to take into his own. He squeezed them gently, rubbing his thumbs against your skin to soothe your worries. It was like everything he did with you was so gentle, but he never once hesitated to show you how deeply he wanted to care for you.

“(Y/N), you can relax. I actually didn’t mind at all.” Jake told you, leaning in to press your foreheads together. “I’m glad you felt relaxed enough to take a little nap, because you’re insanely adorable.”

Everytime he said that to you, or vocalized his thoughts about you it felt surreal. Jake had a way of making the way he complimented you feel like the world’s greatest reward, and you wanted to eat up each crumb he left for you and then beg for more.

“Well to be fair, you’re really comfortable to lay on…” You admitted, smiling with Jake kissed the tip of your nose and pulled away to admire the sight of you. Your cheeks were rosy from his affection. You looked away, trying to mask how he made you feel when you were alone.

You both were silent for a moment, dancing around doing or saying anything else. It wasn’t uncomfortable at all, but it definitely had an air to it you weren’t sure you were brave enough to breach. Jake was though.

“It’s sort of late, did you…” Jake started, trailing off. You noticed him lick his lips, focusing on his pink and glossy appearance when his tongue darted back in his mouth.

“Did I…?” You asked, tilting your head to watch him formulate a question. Jake nodded.

“Did you want me to stay the night?” He finished. Oh.

Oh.

Oh?

Oh.

Did you want Jake to stay the night? Well, you certainly didn’t want him to leave… but it didn’t look like he had any clothes for tomorrow. Sure, you had extra toothbrushes, but was it too soon? It was date 3 technically… Oh god, what would Annie say?

You bit your bottom lip for a moment, trying to cover a smile that wanted to creep it’s way onto your face.

“I mean, if you wanted to, I wouldn’t be opposed.” You replied in honesty, watching the way he ran a hand through his hair, pushing the strands back to let them fall into place naturally after he was done fussing with it.

“Then I’ll stay. I don’t have anywhere to be till the afternoon tomorrow anyway.” he shifted on the couch, pulling you into him. You wrapped your arms around his middle, ducking your head under his chin so he could hold you there.

“Jake Kiszka,” you smirked sheepishly just like he always did, “If I didn’t know any better I would say you were asking me for breakfast.” It was a light tease, but with the way Jake huffed through his nose and just held you tighter, you knew he wasn’t opposed to the idea, just like you weren’t opposed to him staying the night.

“Let’s just get ready for bed, babe. You sound tired, and as a gentleman I shouldn’t infringe on your beauty sleep.” He teased you back, pinching your side in an attempt to get a reaction. You laughed as it tickled, pushing off of him to get him to stop. Then, you stood and pulled him up with you.

Jake shut the tv off and threw the remote back onto the couch, leaving his boots and anything else he had brought besides his phone to stay while you lead him to your room. You didn’t give yourself time to consider how this was technically the first time he would be entering your “domain” or time to think about how maybe he wouldn’t like looking at you when you woke up. It didn’t matter, because when you stepped through the threshold of your living-space his arms snaked around your waist from behind and he kissed the back of your neck, holding you tight.

You let yourself pat his forearms. “Come on little rockstar, you haven’t even seen my super awesome nightlight.” You joked. Jake snorted into your hair as he nuzzled his nose behind your ear. You listened to his laugh intently, smiling at yourself from the sound. You liked to think of all the different ways you had seen him laugh throughout the short time in knowing him. His airless chuckles when he was amused with himself, or his belly-laughing at your lame comments, and even the way he snorted and huffed cutely at you whenever he was truly at ease.

Just by being there, in the entrance of your room with Jake, you began to realize how you wanted to listen to his laugh everyday if you could. How, you wanted to be there to see every which-way his nose twitched and his lips curved with each passing movement… was that bad? You hoped not, because you didn’t want to end up finding that this sense of ‘like’ you were deeply falling into was nothing but a fluke.

You steeled yourself away from those thoughts, just like any insecurities you had. Right now, you could at least admit to yourself that you were tired. You wanted to lay in bed with Jake in his arms and listen to heartbeat and lull off to that… yeah, that sounded good.

Jake broke away from you first, snooping around briefly to peruse through the few square-feet that actually made up your bedroom. Your bed was centered, leaving open space on either side for your nightstand and a desk in the corner, in front of an open window. That held your laptop and any work items you used on a regular basis. You watched him take in your space, recount each book on the shelf, and nod to himself as he looked over your weekly to-do list that was plastered on the lid of your closed lap-top.

Jake turned to you after he seemed to like what he saw, smiling easily. You apparently had gotten lost in watching him be in your space that you hadn’t moved an inch from where you had been standing originally, too tranced by him to really think at all.

“Ready for bed?” You asked, snapping yourself out of whatever grip this handsome boy had on you. Jake nodded easily, shifting his stride to follow you as you excited and made your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth and go-through your nightly routine.

The rest of the night was easy. You had given Jake a spare and unopened toothbrush from your medicine cabinet and stood next to each other in the mirror as you cleaned your teeth. It was oddly domestic to glance over at one another every once and awhile. When that was done you lent him a pair of spare boxers you kept in your closet, asking that he didn’t point out why you had them in the first place. It wasn’t really a secret, your brother had come to stay over the summer and left them, and being the girl you were you had washed and kept them just because.

They obviously came in handy now, but Annie had made fun of you for it before. You didn’t mind though, because now as you settled in under the covers with Jake, the entire night was turning out to be rather successful for you both. Neither of you had done really anything eventful, but the domesticity of it all rounded out to having you both in high spirits.

After shutting the light of your room off you smiled at Jake, laying on your side and facing him. Jake smiled back, his hair pooling out around his head on the pillow below.

“You don’t mind taking this while, thing, slow. Do you?” You didn’t know what to call whatever relationship the two of you shared was. You had only asked because an ounce of courage struck right before you felt a wave of sleepiness wash over. Jake shook his head at you, yawning quietly from beside you.

“I’ve had a lot of things in my life happen faster than I could keep up with. Whatever this thing is,” he quoted you, “It’s nice. I don’t want to rush into anything if you aren’t ready for it (Y/N).” He said, letting his eyes flutter closed. You looked over his eyelashes… the subtle crease in his brow.

“We’ve got all the time in the world to rush into love.” You told him, letting your eyes fall closed as well. You didn’t see Jake’s little tired smile, resting beside him constantly.

“It wouldn’t be hard to give love a chance.” Jake replied back to you.

In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t loving that was hard. It was letting yourself be loved and giving it your all until you weren’t sure you could give anymore that made it difficult. As you laid there, drifting off next to your new-found dream boy, you decided then that you could put faith back out there. If being with Jake Kiszka was this easy, you were sure you had been looking in all the wrong places before.

Besides, it took a lot of mental power to block out the world. Being with Jake meant you almost felt ready to let it all come rushing back in again.

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Taglist: @theweightofstardust @joshkiszkas @kiszkawagnerwhore @oyoke @mgk777 @carlybubs @myownparadise96

let me know if you’d like to be removed or added! xoxo

#jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #gvf fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet x reader #greta van fanfiction #greta van fic #my fic #give love a chance #oh boy #do u guys like it #gvf #greta van fleet

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wlwmarvelenthusiast · 3 years

Text

More Than A Friend

Summary: A weekend trip with Carol leads you to realize you might like her a little more than you'd thought.

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader

Warnings: language

Word Count: 6,194

You crept into the bar. It was a rowdy place, even this early in the evening. Your eyes scanned the crowd, taking in all the different people that were scattered throughout the room. The football game was playing on the TV, but unfortunately, it wasn't really your sport. Finally, your eyes landed on a blonde sitting at the bar. You moved toward her, a smirk on your face. You didn't even bother to slide into the seat next to her.

Your hand touched her hip and your lips were right next to her ear when you spoke. "What's a beautiful thing like you doing all alone here?"

She startled a little, whipping to face you. When she saw you, though, she smacked you away, an unamused expression taking over the surprised look she'd had a minute ago. You slid onto the stool next to her, eyes watching as the bartender held up a single finger to indicate he'd be over to you in a moment. You only nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the girl beside you, the smirk still on your lips.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" She rolled her eyes.

"Come off it, Care-bear, you love me."

"Christ, I hate when you call me that."

"I apologize, oh Captain, my captain."

The bartender arrived and prevented her from retaliating. You didn't even bother looking back at her as you ordered your drink of choice, glancing up at the football game that you didn't care about in order to not look at Carol. She finally snorted and bumped her shoulder against yours. It made you look back at her, unable to keep a smile from forming on your face when she gave you a hearty wink. She laughed.

"How was work?"

You shrugged. "People are idiots."

When you were sixteen, you'd worked a retail job where you'd learned just how stupid people really were. You'd learned that fully-grown adults had nothing better in their lives to do than yell at teenaged, minimum wage workers during their spare time for nothing more than a minor inconvenience. When you'd become an Avenger, you thought that would stop. You were incorrect. You might not have been a teenaged retail worker anymore, but people found a reason to lose their temper anyway- even right after you'd saved their life.

"That good, huh?" She chuckled.

"Are people nicer on other planets, Care-bear? Take me with you?"

"They're not, no," Carol huffed, sipping from her glass. "And the drinks don't taste as good."

You wondered what she was drinking that she seemed to be enjoying so much. It was colourful, and had, at this point, piqued your interest. You reached out and snatched from where it sat in front of her on the bar. You sniffed it first. It was something fruity, that was all you could figure. Finally, you dared raise the glass to your lips. The second the liquid touched your tongue you felt like you might overdose on sugar and sweetness.

"Oh, my God, Carol!" You exclaimed, setting the drink back down on the bar top and sliding it to her. "What the hell is that?"

"She got it extra sweet," the bartender said as he walked by. "Your friend's got a sugar addiction."

It didn't seem to bother her at all. While you felt you could puke from the sugar content alone, she was sipping it happily. You rolled your eyes at her, reaching for your own drink, much preferring the taste of it. Carol turned to you suddenly, the straw still between her lips. You watched as she lowered it back down, using the same straw to stir the drink around, the ice clinking off the side of the glass as she did. She sipped it again.

"What's our weekend plans, then?" Carol asked finally.

"Who says I have plans with you?"

"Oh, please. You practically begged me to come stay on Earth for a weekend."

"I did absolutely no such thing."

You absolutely did do that. Carol was away from Earth more often than not and you missed her. It wasn't like it was a crime to. So, you'd phoned her up and asked her over and over to come spend just one weekend on Earth with you. She'd finally agreed on the eighth ask, and now here you sat; on the right of the girl you'd missed so dearly, teasing her relentlessly about whatever that abomination was swirling around in her glass.

"We're taking my new car on a little road trip," you finally gave, sipping your drink. "Music, fast-food, and deep talks on the interstate."

"Snacks?"

"Snacks too," you promised with a chuckle. "And we can get a nice motel room or pitch a tent at night. Whichever you please."

You had to laugh at the smile that had crept over her face. The way she giggled in excitement, you had to wonder if it'd just been too long since her last day off or if the alcohol had gotten to her already. She waved the bartender lever as she finished hers. He placed a new one in front of her, and she thanked him quickly, bringing it close and immediately bringing the straw between her lips. You wondered whether the sugar or alcohol content would hospitalize her quicker.

"So, when do we leave?" She chirped.

"In the morning. Don't drink too much. You'll get hungover and I want to actually have fun."

She stuck her tongue out at you. You rolled your eyes in response, finishing your own drink and then declining another. You didn't want to be hungover when you were the one driving the two of you around. The bartender brought you a pop instead. You sipped on it, watching a bar-goer stumbled over with a drunk grin on his face and tapped Carol on the shoulder. He said something you didn't quite hear, but you saw Carol nod. He took her hands and dragged her onto the dance floor. You brought her drink toward you.

Carol was a flirt. She always had been. She was a flirt with you, your teammates, and strangers. She was also gay. This dance with this guy didn't mean much to her. You weren't sure if it even meant much to him. You couldn't be sure that he'd even remember this dance. He was absolutely wasted, and it wasn't even midnight. Regardless, he seemed to be enjoying it. His eyes travelled up and down Carol's body and you squeezed the glass in your hand a little tighter. You were protective of her, despite knowing she could absolutely hold her own.

When the song finished, she winked at him, retreating back to your spot at the bar. She finished up her drink and then insisted the two of you head back to your place and that you were right: she didn't want to be nursing a hangover while you were supposed to be having a good time. You paid the bartender and then linked your arm with hers, leading her out the door and onto the streets. She glanced up at the tall buildings around her. A smile had formed on her face.

"You don't appreciate how beautiful this place is."

You glanced up at the glowing buildings that towered above you and marvelled, for a moment, at the soft light that radiated off them. Your gaze was tugged downward, though, at a rustling noise. You were snapped back into the reality of your city as you watched a rat scurry along the curb of the sidewalk in the direction opposite you. You chuckled at that, motioning to it as you looked up to catch Carol's bright gaze.

"Surely some of those planets are far more beautiful than this."

She shrugged. "Some, maybe. Some are worse. Some are kind of alike to this. This has always been my favourite, though."

You might have understood that if Carol had taken the time to visit the actual beautiful parts of the Earth. But she was always in the city. She'd never gone to stare in amazement at a waterfall or glance at towering mountains. She had never seen the true beauties of this Earth, and you promised in that moment to change that fact. If she thought New York City was beautiful, she would be blown off her feet by the things you showed her.

"One day, Carol, I'll show you the actual beautiful things on this Earth."

"You're pretty beautiful yourself."

You smacked her. That was her flirty side coming out once again. It didn't mean anything. It never had. So, you wondered what that strange flutter in your chest was when she said the words. You ignored it, passing it off as a longing for a meaningful relationship. You hadn't had one of those in a while now. You probably just wanted someone to say those words to you and mean it. You made a mental note to sign up for an online dating site after the weekend had passed. It was too hard to meet people in your line of work without them.

"Yeah, I know," was all you gave in response.

When you glanced over at her, she had a grin on her face.

It wasn't long until you'd reached your apartment building. You smiled at the front desk as you entered the lobby and immediately made for the elevator. You pressed the button to the seventh floor and waited patiently for the doors. You knew Carol was suppressing a squeal of glee when they arrived. She usually just flew everywhere. Using simple inventions like this one had always gotten her more excited than the average person. To anyone else, an elevator was just a boring elevator.

"Can I do it?" She asked as you pulled out your key.

Carol really was just like a child, in a sense. Everything was so advanced out in space that these were the things she enjoyed doing. You pointed out the bronze key and watched her run ahead. She practically skipped the distance to your apartment door. She pushed the key into the lock and turned it, glancing back at you and smiling widely when the door pushed open. You smiled affectionately as you took the key back from her.

She may not have visited Earth overly often, but every time she did, she visited your apartment. Resultantly, she knew her way around. She knew, as well, that you didn't mind in the slightest if she made herself at home. She slid her shoes off and jumped onto the couch, pulling the blanket down over top of her and snuggling into it. You actually took a photo of the sight before you moved into the room behind her, lifting her legs, sitting on the couch, and then dropping them back over your lap.

"Can we watch a movie?" Carol asked, pleading gaze turning to you.

You showed her the remote you'd been reaching for. "Already on it, Captain Danvers."

"I take it back," she giggled, tossing her head back so that it hit the armrest. "That's worse. You can call me-"

"Aw, my Care-Bear!" You laughed, shifting your position so you could throw your arms around her shoulders.

Carol grunted at the impact against her torso. Once you settled, though, she breathed a little easier. You were both squished against one side of the couch, now, but the closeness was nothing new to you. You still had the remote in hand, and aimed it at the TV, managing to get it to Netflix. You flicked on a random horror movie, setting the remote back down on the coffee table in front of you. You nestled back into the cushions.

It had always amused you how jumpy Carol got when she watched horror movies. She was a literal superhero that fought literal aliens all the night and day and yet a ghost jumping out of a darkened corridor had her cringing away from the TV screen and pulling the blanket further up her body as if in an attempt to protect her. She would always adamantly deny it if you ever brought it up later. You would never show her the picture you had of her, fuzzy blue blanket pulled all the way up to her nose, eyes wide, as she watched The Conjuring. She would delete it off your phone as you slept.

Today, though, her nerves seemed to be calmed somewhat by the cup of tea she had clasped between her hands. She looked entirely content, sitting cross-legged on the couch with that same fuzzy blanket draped over her lap and a grey, ceramic mug warming her palms. The alcohol had clearly gotten to her a little, you realized, as you watched her eyelids droop every once in a while. The corner of your mouth tilted upward ever so slightly. She was wide awake a moment later.

It was a sudden jump scare. Even being half asleep, Carol was still paying attention. So, when the TV boomed and there was a flash and a scream, she jumped. The tea that she'd been holding in her lap sloshed over the edges, a large amount of liquid soaking into the couch cushions. You were out of your seat in an instant, reaching for the remote to pause. Carol was apologizing profusely, jumping to her feet and following you to the kitchen.

"It's okay, Carol. It's fine," you chuckled, wetting a dish towel and grabbing some paper towels. "Hey, it's fine. Really. Chill out."

Carol seemed hesitant to do that. When you lightheartedly flicked the wet towel at her, though, she finally smiled taking the paper towel out of your hand and heading back to the living room, pressing the paper towel into the couch and absorbing as much of the liquid as she could. When she'd finished, you used the wet rag to clean the beverage out. As you tossed the paper towel away and threw the dishrag into the kitchen sink, you stood back and took a look at the large wet spot on the couch.

"Guess we're moving to my room, then. Let's go, Care-Bear."

Carol nodded. She trod behind you into the bedroom, where you flopped onto the bed. She was lagging behind and you waved her onward to hurry her up. She finally jumped onto the bed and sat next to you, sliding her legs underneath the covers. You turned on the small TV in your room and resumed the movie you'd been watching. In the soft comfort of the bed, though, it seemed the tug for sleep was greater. Carol's eyes finally fluttered shut and she lay down against the pillows. You chuckled, turning off the movie.

You, unlike your friend, hadn't fallen asleep involuntary. You were able to head to the bathroom and brush your teeth before yawning tiredly and deciding to join. You padded back into the room, climbed under the covers, shut off the lights, and lay your head onto your own pillow. You smiled once at Carol's sleeping figure before you shut your eyes, letting sleep take you.

As hard as you tried to convince her, you weren't able to get Carol to stick her head back inside the sunroof. You weren't sure how to breeze was so exhilarating to her. The superhuman could fly faster than your car was going right now. The wind in her hair had to be a familiar feeling at this point. Plus, there were no laws against flying above the interstate to feel the wind in your hair. There were, however, laws about standing with your entire torso stuck out the roof of the car.

You'd given up a while ago. If she fell out, she'd be just fine. If she got you a ticket? Oh, there would be serious hell to pay. She'd agreed to that already. You'd honestly be surprised, though, if she did get ticketed. It'd be quite a sight to see: a measly police officer ticketing the Human-Kree Hybrid superhero. That sight alone might actually be worth the fine you would have to pay. By the time she'd pulled her head back in, though, blonde hair windblown and a smile plastered to her face, you'd yet to see a single cop.

"Have fun?" You asked, doing up the sunroof.

"Absolutely. You should try."

"Do you know how to drive?" You scoffed.

"I can fly a ship."

"Yeah, I'm sure UFO controls are much different than cars so I'm gonna have to politely ask you to stay the hell away from my car."

Carol only stuck her tongue out at you. She still didn't do her seatbelt up yet. She twisted her body so that she could reach into the back seat. You turned back to the road, but when you shot a second glance at her a few seconds later, she was popping open a can of Pringles with a large grin on her face. She bit down onto a chip with a giggle before turning the can to you. You reached into it with one hand and took a small handful of them, setting them down on the centre console for easier access.

"Where are we staying tonight?" Carol asked through a mouthful of chips.

"A campground up in a small town in Ontario," you hummed. "It's still a good few hours away. I'd ask if you wanted to stop for food, but I'd guess you've filled up on snacks."

She dug through her backpack. "Do I need this?"

She held up the passport you'd made her get last time the two of you had headed up to Toronto. Despite the fact that she really wasn't a citizen of the United States... or even of Earth, you'd managed to get S.H.I.E.L.D. to make you an exception for Carol. It was the perks of being an Avenger, and a close friend of Nick Fury, you supposed. To answer her question, you simply nodded your head as you reached for the Gatorade in your cup holder. She stuck the papers back into her bag.

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

The question almost made you spit the red beverage onto the steering wheel. It wasn't that you and Carol had never talked about it. She was one of your closest friends, after all. She was the first one you'd called when you'd realized your feelings for your last girlfriend, and she was the first one you'd called when you'd broken up. Carol wasn't someone you didn't talk about your love life with. It was just that it was completely and entirely out of the blue. It didn't help that the answer was still no, even after the long period of time since she'd last asked it.

You'd tried to assure yourself that you were just busy with work. It wasn't a lie. You'd been busy as hell ever since Loki's sceptre had inexplicably gone missing after the Battle in New York. But it wasn't just that, you knew full well. Something seemed to be wrong with your brain, or maybe your heart. Maybe it was just that your standards were practically in the clouds, but no one seemed attractive to you anymore. Not even the girl Natasha had tried to set you up with (and you were well convinced that Natasha only knew attractive people).

"Not at the moment, no," you finally admitted. "You?"

"On-and-off," she shrugged. "Just a girl from a planet called Xandar."

A pang of jealousy struck your chest. You were carving something- anything. You would've given anything even for something on-and-off just about now. Had it really been that long? You could hardly believe you were jealous of her. It wasn't like you to be jealous of something someone else had. You were supposed to be happy for her, not sulking over your own lack of a love life... or sex life. You forced a smile at her, wishing it could be real.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me about her."

"Not too much to tell," Carol said, biting down on a potato chip. "She's cute, funny, sweet. A little younger than me, but most people are," she chuckled as she glanced over at you. You plastered a phone smile back onto your lips and forced a laugh from your chest. "Her name's Alya."

You almost grumbled, but managed to bite your tongue on time. You resorted to ripping open a packet of gummy bears in order to keep your mouth full and therefore unable to make any snarky comments. Carol didn't seem to notice that, only reaching over and grabbing a green bear out of the bag. Though you might have been a little frustrated, you let her. It wasn't her fault that you were touch-starved and desperate.

"You know, we could spend this trip trying to find you a girlfriend," Carol grinned, tossing a candy into the air and catching it in her mouth.

"No," you denied immediately. You didn't need for her to see how weird your head was being right now. You were certain there was no one she could find that would be able to snap you out of this strange state of no one being attractive to you, yet craving someone. "I'm not looking for a girlfriend in Ontario."

"What's wrong with girls from Ontario?" Carol teased.

She'd been to Ontario once before. She'd pointed out that, though they may have dressed a little different and talked a little different, the girls from Ontario were just as attractive as the girls from New York. You'd had to point out that, at the time, she'd had a girlfriend. With Carol's ogling at girls on Earth, clearly, she and the girlfriend hadn't been working out well. They'd broken up two weeks later, leaving them both a little hurt, but not beyond repair. Even still, they saw each other for lunch or for a drink, but just as friends. It was admirable; the respect they had retained for one another.

"Nothing is wrong with girls from Ontario," you huffed. "I'm just not in the mood. This is supposed to be our weekend."

"What if I want to spend our weekend finding you a girl?"

"I don't. Drop it," you finally snapped.

Immediately guilt rushed to settle in the pit of your stomach. You readjusted your grip on the steering wheel as your gaze refused to leave the road in front of you. You didn't want to glance over at the frown that had surely taken the place of that infectious smile you loved so dearly. You definitely didn't want to look at it knowing that you were the cause of it. Carol was so incredibly joyful all the time and that was one of the things you loved about her. To be the one who had taken that joy from her, even momentarily, broke your heart.

"I'm sorry," you muttered.

She didn't answer that.

You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat as you tried to focus on driving instead of picturing the frown that was probably tugging at each of Carol's features. You wished you could actually physically kick yourself for what you'd done. She didn't deserve you snapping at her like that. She hadn't done anything wrong. You were just being pissy for reasons you weren't sure even you quite understood. You finally turned to her, but she was looking out the window.

"Look, Carol-"

"Hey, don't worry. Sorry I pushed."

You didn't deserve Carol Susan Jane Danvers one single bit. She deserved more than the world and you swore right then you'd work every moment to give that to her. Despite how you'd treated her for reasons she couldn't possibly have understood, when she turned to you, she was still smiling. As always, her smile put a smile on your face too. You turned away from those soft brown eyes to glance back at the road in front of you.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I snapped. I just... it's a long story, Care-Bear."

"We've got a long ride ahead of us," she tried.

"I don't know that I'm feeling like talking about it right this second," you admitted.

She seemed to accept that. You felt her touch your arm with her hand. Warmth seemed to rush from her touch, up your arms, and into your chest. How one person could instill such comfort into you amazed you. She said a few soft words to you that you didn't quite hear, but you felt you might not need to. You knew they were words of comfort. Just that knowledge was enough to put a smile onto your face. Your eyes flickered from her to the road.

"No problem," Carol chimed. Then, without missing a single beat, she changed the subject. "Hey, which bag did you put the Fuzzy Peaches in?"

"The green backpack."

Just like that, it was easy again. Carol didn't let you linger on just how upset you were for more than a second. She practically dived into the back seat for the backpack, reappearing with the orange package in her hand. She plopped back down into her seat, still refused to put her seatbelt on, and ripped the package open. She reached out and turned up the music when one of your favourite songs came on. You wondered if she knew that.

"No! That piece goes over here!" You insisted.

Carol frowned and handed you the long pole.

Pitching a tent with an alien who hadn't even known was a tent was, up until five minutes ago, was not easy. She'd practically rolled herself up like a burrito in the rain fly right after nearly putting the stakes directly through the floor to pin the tent down. You'd been guiding her, preventing any damage from coming to it. She was listening intently, making sure she did everything exactly how you said. She stuck the peg through the guy line and looked at you.

"Like that?"

"Yeah. Perfect. I think we're just about done, Care-Bear."

At that, she unzipped the door, diving through it into the empty tent. You reached into the trunk of your car, throwing the many pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags through behind her, not caring much where they landed. When you finally shut the door and ducked into the tent, Carol was beneath the large pile, peering out from where only the top half of her face was visible. You had to chuckle, grabbing one of the blankets and pulling it over her face.

Carol insisted she set up. She had you sit aside by the door, munching happily on a small bowl of popcorn as you watched. She carefully unzipped the sleeping bags and lay them down on the floor, putting the pillows atop them, and then the two comforters stacked on top of each other on top of that. When she finally finished, she gestured proudly to her completed setup. You raised an eyebrow.

"We both sleeping there?"

She nodded. "It's cold."

You had to give her that. You were practically shivering just from waiting for her to finish. The sun had dipped beyond the horizon at this point, the darkness of night did nothing to heat up the air around you. You clambered under the blankets, careful not to drop any of the popcorn you still held. You placed it next to you, letting Carol reach over and grab some as she, too, climbed into the makeshift bed. She popped a piece into her mouth.

"Up to talking about it yet?"

It was a genuine question. Carol wasn't pushy. That was something you could tell by her tone. She had waited patiently and was continuing to wait for you to be ready to talk about what you needed to talk about. She didn't want you bottling it up, but she didn't want to pressure you. She was able to do that. You glanced down at the red blanket that covered your legs, pondering her question for a moment. Then you nodded your head yes.

"I just haven't felt myself recently," you shrugged. "I would like to get out there and find someone, no doubt. Recently, though, it's like my standards are unmeetable. No one seems even remotely appealing to me."

"No one at all?"

"Nat tried to set me up with her Russian model friend," you said, turning to Carol with a grin finally on your lips.

"Nothing?" Carol said, an exaggerated amount of shock on her face. "You must be broken."

You shoved her. She chuckled; the offensive action having done nothing. She was inhumanly strong. If you'd decided to punch her, you likely would've broken your hand against her. She shoved you back, only lightly, so you moved a few inches away from her. She stuck her hand back into the popcorn bowl as you shuffled back into your place beside her. She was chewing thoughtfully, and you didn't dare interrupt her with the very focused expression on her face.

"Do you already like someone? That usually takes away the appeal of anyone else."

You stopped to think about that. You knew that could be the case. In eleventh grade when you'd had a crush on Adelaide Artenbaker, you'd suddenly failed to find anyone else attractive at all. Of course, Adelaide had eventually rejected you on account that she was straight as an arrow. It wasn't malicious. She'd actually given you a kiss on the cheek and assured you that, if she discovered wasn't, she'd let you know. It had made you laugh.

Now, you had to wonder if there was anyone that was making your stomach flip and making you dismiss anyone else. It wasn't the Avengers. You'd been in the changing room with Natasha, the Black fucking Widow, two days ago, and she'd strutted up to you in nothing but her bra and underwear. You hadn't even bat an eyelash as she'd asked you if you wanted to get some Chinese food after the mission (but you had said yes, of course).

"Yeah. Maybe."

Her words had knocked some serious sense into you. You definitely had a crush on someone, and it had definitely been impairing your ability to get out on a date. That someone was around so little, though, that you hadn't realized right away just how you felt for them. Maybe if she visited Earth a little more often, you'd have realized why you blushed so deeply when she'd crawled into bed with you last night or right now.

"Who is it, then?"

Carol had a girlfriend. It may have been on-again-off-again, but she had a girlfriend. You were not now, nor ever, someone who would come between that. You were going to let her be happy with someone who was making her happy and you were going to be happy for her. You plastered a smile onto your face and reached into the bowl of popcorn that sat on your lap, letting the snack cloud the feelings of jealousy that you knew now weren't jealousy of a relationship, but if Carol.

"Nat."

Carol didn't miss a single beat. "Liar."

You glared at her. "The fuck do you mean? Telling me who I do and do not like?"

"I know who has your heart right now. It isn't Nat."

This time when she reached for the popcorn, she leaned over. To support her weight, her hand came to rest on your upper thigh. You had to refrain from reacting. You sucked the inside of your cheek between your teeth, biting hard on it to suppress any sort of reaction that Carol would have noticed. It seemed to have worked. She grabbed a small handful and then backed away, the pressure of her hand disappearing from your limb.

"Yeah? Who is it, then?"

"Someone that likes you back."

"And who says Nat doesn't?"

You might have actually been offended if it weren't Carol you were talking to. You were good enough for Natasha, right? She was practically a goddess in respect to her looks, but you were something, too. Not that you liked Natasha in that way. She was a friend. Carol was the one that you cared about. Something about that sweet smile and that confidence mixed with an innocence she had after being away from Earth for so long warmed your heart every time.

"Fair," Carol admitted. "But you know, you're pretty oblivious. With all the hints I've been dropping, you'd think you'd have realized your feelings are reciprocated."

"What?"

"I like you, dumbass. More than a friend likes a friend."

Your jaw might have dropped. You coughed, choking on the popcorn that you'd been eating as you whirled to face the blonde. She had a twinkle in her eyes, and a giggle escaped her lips when she saw the expression on your face. She tossed a piece of popcorn into the air, catching it in her mouth. She chewed on it as she waited, arms crossed, for you to collect yourself. Finally, after a long drink of water, you calmed.

"Pardon?"

"You're an idiot," she mumbled.

Then she grabbed the front of your shirt and pulled you closer. You didn't fail to notice, as your lips moved against hers, that she moved the popcorn bowl so that it wouldn't spill. It seemed completely unimportant, though. You felt everything starting to melt away into Carol Danvers. Her lips were talented and kissing her felt like an intricate sport and suddenly you needed to breathe. When you pushed away, you realized what you'd done wrong.

Her feelings to you didn't matter. She had a girlfriend. Unless that fact changed, she and you didn't get to be more than your friend. You pushed her even further away. You knew she had the ability to, but she didn't resist. You backed off a little further so that your bodies were completely separated. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but she didn't push. She even waited for you to speak first. Your eyes wouldn't meet hers.

"You have a girlfriend."

"I just said that to make you jealous," she scoffed.

You immediately got defensive. "I was not jealous."

"You were so!"

"Shut up."

She did. You suspected the only reason she had shut up was because she was kissing you again. It didn't matter. You were on cloud nine. You felt right again. You felt more right now than you ever had. Carol was exactly what you had needed for longer than you could figure out right then. She was clouding your thoughts and, honestly, you couldn't have cared less. You didn't want to think about anything besides how good her lips felt on yours right then.

You couldn't even find it in yourself to be mad at her for the little stunt she had pulled. You could only be glad that this so-called girlfriend wasn't actually real, and was just a part of her stupid plan. Without the girlfriend, you were free to kiss her as much as she would let you. Judging by how she was kissing you now, she wasn't going to stop you anytime soon. Her teeth grazed your bottom lip as she pulled away, not moving more than an inch from your lips, though.

The hand that clasped your shirt uncurled. She pressed her hand flat against the centre of your chest, pushing you onto your back. You had to chuckle as her knees pressed into the ground on either side of your waist. She kissed your nose once, scowling at the laughs that were beginning to bubble from your chest. You leaned up and kissed her lips for a brief moment, before using a hand to caress her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ear.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. You were right," you stated. "I'm kinda glad you were right."

"You're kind of glad? Can you imagine how stupid I'd have looked if I were wrong?" Carol laughed.

"Quite," you agreed with a nod.

You pulled her down next to you, wrapping your arms around her and feeling hers do the same to you. You pressed your forehead against hers, taking the time to admire her smiling face. She giggled a little, pecking your lips quickly. She didn't linger, though, having been preoccupied in reaching over your shoulder into the bowl of popcorn once more. She shoved a few pieces into her mouth and chewed happily.

"Care-Bear, what's more important: me or snacks?"

"You are a snack."

You gaped. "How the hell did you learn that term?"

She shrugged. "I hear things."

You rolled your eyes, pushing her away from you. She let you, reaching for her water bottle to wash down some of the salty flavour that had come off the popcorn. She offered you some water, which you accepted. When you finished and handed the bottle back to her, she pulled you close to her. Your body moved until it was flush against hers. Her torso was so warm you could've fallen asleep right then and there.

"You're more important."

Being more important than snacks, in the opinion of Carol Danvers, was just about the highest compliment you could have received.

#carol danvers #captain marvel #carol danvers fanfiction #carol danvers x reader #mcu #marvel #wlw #lesbian

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sofiaaaaaaaa03 · 3 years

Text

Teaching Din Earth Music

Pairing: Din djarin x earthling!gn!teen reader (platonic)

Word count: 1,151

Rating: G

Scenario: You try to teach Din about earth music during one of your trips.

Authors Note: Hey lovelies, I hope you're having an amazing day. Please remember to drink water and eat something. I hope you guys enjoy this, sorry it's a bit tiny :)

Ever since Din caught you listening to earth music you’d grown more comfortable playing it while he was on board. On particularly long trips you made it a habit to put on some music to make the ride more entertaining. It was really only used when the two of you were too exhausted from chores or missions to bother making conversation. You enjoyed it, really. It reminded you of your home and your time on Earth. Now more than ever, wherever you go you notice the absence of music in the strange, hostile planets Din takes you compared to where it always seemed to follow you on Earth, playing in the air of cafes, stores, restaurants, and oh the car rides you and your friends used to share.

A tight lipped smile spread across your features. You wondered how they were doing. It’s not everyday your friend mysteriously disappears, let alone getting stranded in space in your case. But you consider yourself lucky. You glanced towards the Mandalorian beside you, piloting the ship. He’s shown you kindness in many ways, and took you in while you try to find Earth. It was a planet Din was unfamiliar with, even going as far as to say that it was considered a myth across many cultures in the galaxy. It would have been a waste of time for him to go out of his way to follow a silly fantasy. However, you could only assume something about you reminded him about himself when he was young, because despite this, he trusted your word, and genuinely wanted to help you return home.

In some weird trade off, you taught Din things about your home planet that were foreign and honestly strange in his opinion. A world where a majority of its denizens remain on-planet the entire time? He couldn’t believe it. He simply refused the concept of social media and antagonized the habits of posting oneself on vacation. Something about exposing your location. You didn’t mind it all too much to be honest.

Your favorite thing to teach him was earth music. It was so much more distinctive to the music you heard around the galaxy, where saloons played Jizz like there was no tomorrow. It was good music, you’ll admit, but nothing was like the variety of the music back home.

The data pad Din lent you laid on the ship’s mainframe, “Okay okay. You’re probably not going to like this since you have the mentality of a 40 year old man, but hear these out. A lot of people my age enjoy these songs back at home.”

It was natural to begin with songs that were trending the last time you were on earth. Din enjoyed some of the more upbeat songs, like Tongue Tied by a group called Grouplove.

“This is what we consider a coming of age song.”

Din gave you a questioning look and you continued. “On Earth we pass our time watching movies, stories acted out by humans that are recorded on a camera.”

“Your planet has too much time on their hands…”

“C’mon Din it’s not like everyone does it!” You defended, “People do it for a job, and only qualified people can. Anyways, that’s not the point. Some movies I grew up with have a point where the main character suddenly grows up, not age wise but mentally. Usually it's through conquering a fear or obstacle in the movie, and when that happens we-”

“Put a song like this in the movie?”

You made a little scoff, “Yeah, in the movie.”

“I suppose… it does evoke emotions like it wants you to. Put on another song, maybe one adults listen to.”

You paused for a moment to recollect the songs your parents would play back at home. They had a variety of artists that they listened to, but you smiled and tapped the data pad to play a song you think Din may like.

It seemed that The Chain by Fleetwood Mac intrigued Din, who tilted his head as the melody began. You waited until the chorus ended to ask Din of his opinion. He gave a nonchalant shrug and claimed that it was interesting before asking you to put on another song.

“Is this really what people my age listen to?”

“Honestly most men I’ve met your age listen to hard rock, but it’s their taste!”

“Earthlings listen to a rock?” Din turned to you in surprise and shook his head. He took the data pad from its place and looked through the playlist you were making. “No wonder you haven’t been off-planet yet.”

You took the data pad back from him and stuck your tongue at him, “I’ll have you know that 553 of us humans have been to space, thank you.”

You tried a couple of Journey songs, some that Din asked you to write down for him to listen to later, and showed some Queen classics. You noticed that Din wasn’t much of a fan for songs that were fan favorites like We Will Rock You or Bohemian Rhapsody (You genuinely thought you’d get him for the last one. All of your schoolmates would go nuts for that song) , but he did enjoy other classics like Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, Fat-Bottomed Girls, and Radio Ga Ga.

“What were some songs you heard growing up?”

“Hm… to be honest I don’t remember all of them. The music all seems like a blur to be honest, guess that’s what happens when you grow up, things become a blur. Anyways,” You listed off some songs, making small talk about it but caught Din’s look of confusion and decided to play some off for him.

The razor crest was filled with a large assortment of music, ranging from ABBA to Harry Styles. Some songs, Din could get the concept very easily by listening to the lyrics while in others he asked you about its meaning. Songs about love, you’d noticed, were the hardest for him to decipher, even if the lyrics were plain as day.

After some time, you decided to ask him about it while Dancing Queen was on.

“I don’t understand,” You turned your attention to Din when he spoke, “If they want to dance with someone they should just go find someone. What’s the point of singing about it?”

You “They’re not singing about dancing with just anybody. They want to dance with someone who will be with them for the rest of their lives. Their special somebody. Y’know?”

“Hm.” He didn’t make another comment. There was nothing to fill the void aside from the occasional beeping of machinery. You wondered what was on his mind as you stared at the helmet that obscured his face. Come to think of it, you don’t know what he’s thinking even when he has his helmet off.

You broke the silence.

“Din?”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever found your special somebody?”

...

Tag List:

@sagedgeek @kiara-is-gay @jupitersmooneuropa

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strawwritesfic · 3 years

Text

Loki Laufeyson x Female!Midgardian!Reader: A Bird in the Hand

Summary: …is surely not worth its asking price.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: All (some foul language; not Thor Ragnarok compliant)

Fic Trade Prompt: “Please, I don’t want to lose you, too.”

A Bird in the Hand

Once upon a time in a realm known as Midgard, there lived a girl. This girl, of course, was you, and you lived as many young women at the time did during that Age of Miracles. None of these miracles ever happened to you. There were no fish oil transformations on your horizon, nor were there any divine calls to adventure. Just like all New Yorkers, you grew use to your daily commute being interrupted by superheroes, to calling insurance companies to argue over their decision to not pay for alien invasion damage to your apartment, and even to carrying an umbrella around with you even on the driest of days in case certain Asgardians decided to visit. Life went on. You had stopped looking for a real miracle years ago.

As well you should have, because there was nothing miraculous about your wedding day. Outside, a seemingly endless mass of dark gray clouds let loose bucket after bucket of rain. Thunder rolled across the sky; lightning flashed–and that, really, was all you could see through the window you had stationed yourself in front of to sulk. If you hadn’t known any better, you’d have blamed the city’s resident thunder god for the disastrous timing of this storm front. As it was, all you could blame was your string of bad luck.

Speaking of bad luck, the door to your parlor snapped open and in stepped the dripping figure of your best friend. Aliyah paused only long enough to adjust her sodden pink hijab before plopping soggily onto an overstuffed loveseat.

“Well, the gazebo is flooded,” she announced, “the food is soaked through, and the caterer won’t bring more to replace it. Your flower arrangements are in pieces, and the band already ran off. I don’t think there’s anything left of your wedding ceremony.”

You did not bother to leave the window, though you did turn just far enough to throw her a sour look. “Do you have any good news to impart?” you asked.

Aliyah grinned. “Your maid of honor hasn’t walked out yet. At least there will be one person here to witness this fiasco.”

“Gonna need a groom for anything to be witnessed.”

Most close friends would offer sympathy when their friend’s fiancé of a year and a half decided to just not show up for the actual wedding. Most acquaintances would feel bad enough when the carefully planned event got rained out. Not your Aliyah. She simply let out a sharp breath and leaned her head back against the couch cushion.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said.

You glared at her, which of course she didn’t see, having shut her eyes to listen to the water tumble from the roof to the street outside.

“Thank you. So much,” you said.

“What?” she asked, forcing her eyes open again. “I told you Jared wasn’t good enough for you. Besides, you should keep all the gifts even if he doesn’t stop by. I saw, like, nine blenders in that pile. You’re better off this way, if you ask me.”

“You’re just saying that because you want a free blender,” you said.

“I wouldn’t say no. But, really, you should count your lucky stars. Free stuff and free of your jackass boyfriend. What better start to a weekend?”

“I’d rather be married to my jackass boyfriend.”

Aliyah’s disdain for Jared was nothing new or surprising. He’d fallen from grace in her eyes when he’d got jealous over your fondness for an injured pigeon you’d rescued only a few months after you started dating Jared. Even releasing the bird hadn’t entirely put an end to his complaints about how you spent your free time. On the other hand, you knew one thing that neither Aliyah nor Jared did: Jared’s jealousy wasn’t entirely misplaced.

But that was years ago. This was now. And that bird had always been bad news.

“Are you going to cry about it?” Aliyah asked, peering over at your perch by the parlor’s bay window. “Because, if not, I’d hate to have dragged Habib all the way to America for nothing.”

At the mention of her long-distance boyfriend, you motioned for Aliyah to go on. You preferred to do your moping alone, and Aliyah knew it. She stood and crossed the room to give you a quick hug before she left without another word. Probably you did owe your maid of honor at a least a blender for all the trouble she’d been through on your behalf.

Sighing, you lifted one hand, dug your fingers into your hair, and tore out what was holding it in its elaborate design. Who cared what you looked like now? Even if stupid Jared had shown up, the storm would have ruined your appearance before you made it down the aisle. Now Aliyah had free rein to spend the rest of her afternoon cuddling with Habib, and you had no one else to bother looking pretty for.

Outside your empty room, you could hear the indistinct muttering of your remaining guests. Family, mostly, who had already given up trying to convince you to let them in. What the rest of them were waiting for before they left, you couldn’t guess. Perhaps for you to come out and make an official announcement: The wedding has been called off. Party’s over. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. And thanks for all the blenders.

The shame of your situation suddenly threatened to crash down upon you. It would have, if you had remained sitting where you were. Instead, you got up, white dress rustling as you stalked across the room. A quiet shriek of rage was stifled only by your gloved hand pressed to your colored lips. Of all the pathetic, idiotic, insane things you had done in your life! Now you didn’t even have the courage to face your friends and family with the truth.

“Tap. Tap. Tap.”

Hail began to hit the glass behind you, soft and hesitant. Since you had no plans to leave the building any time soon, you ignored this weather development.

Jared hadn’t even called to say he’d changed his mind. You should have known when he hadn’t come home after his stag party the night before. He was probably laughing it up over your stupidity with some blonde bikini babe by the beach that you were supposed to go to for your honeymoon. The thought caused you to kick out angrily at the coffee table, and you heard a quiet rip issue from your skirt in response when it caught on a corner.

You swore.

”Tap. Tap. Tap.”

Now that you thought about it, the sound wasn’t regular enough to be hail. It wasn’t very hesitant anymore either. Still, you ignored the noise as you yanked off your veil, your gloves, and your garter. You were mentally preparing to rip them all to shreds with your fingernails when you heard it again:

“Tap. Tap. Tap.”

That time you did not suppress your shriek. As it faded into the overstuffed furniture surrounding you, you marched over to the window and shoved it open. The wind whistled through the empty space, sending anything in the room not tied down into the air and splattering your face with water. If ever there was a time to reasonably expect an Asgardian thunder god to step inside, it was then. No one was there, though, save for a single bedraggled pigeon.

“Oh, hello,” you said when it hopped onto the sill, and automatically you held out your cupped hands toward it.

The poor thing shivered once, then stepped onto your warm palms. Only when it looked up into your face did you see that it had bright green, very un-pigeon-ish eyes.

Before you could stuff the bird back outside, it lifted itself into the air to half-flutter, half-fly over to the loveseat Aliyah had been sitting on. A flash of light that had nothing to do with the lightning outside filled the room. When you had blinked and cleared your vision enough that you could see again, the pigeon was gone, and in its place reclined a tall, dark-haired, beautiful man, dressed to the nines in Asgardian fashion.

“Hello, darling,” said Loki Laufeyson. “Don’t you look ravishing?”

You were too shocked to contradict him. No mention of your torn dress, mussed hair, or smeared makeup escaped your lips. Instead, you said the only thing you could in that sort of situation: “What are you doing here?”

“Why, I’m here to offer you my congratulations, of course,” he answered, examining one perfectly manicured nail. “Or should it be my condolences?”

“Really?” Your tone dripped with enough sarcasm that it could be heard over the protesting window as you forced it shut. “You disappear for two years, never write, never visit, and then you just happen to pop by to celebrate my wedding to another man?”

“What kind of secret lover would I be if I did not?”

“We are not secret lovers.”

“Well, no, we haven’t been for quite some time. I see no reason why that should stop us from picking up right where we left off, however.”

“We were never secret lovers.”

“Really?” he said, mocking the tone of your earlier question. “That’s not what it seemed like to me. Of course, I had the brain of a pigeon most of the time, but at night when your beau had to work and leave you so very alone–”

“You can’t just show up out of the blue and expect me to want you again,” you interrupted. “And on my wedding day to boot.”

To his credit, Loki looked genuinely confused by your behavior–like he’d expected you to jump straight into his arms, marriage or no. Obviously, they did things differently in Asgard. You were not Asgardian.

“Fine,” he said. “If that’s the way you want it. I was only trying to thank you for helping me, you know.”

“All I did was take in a pigeon that got injured when Thor threw a bunch of peanuts at a flock. It didn’t really deserve that sort of thanking.”

“Ah, but you enjoyed it anyway.” That wasn’t the point. He knew it wasn’t the point just as well as you did, because once he made it, he got fluidly up to his feet to and walked over to stand in front of you. “If you are that disinclined to see me, I suppose I had better get going. If you ever grow tired of being lonely again–oh, that’s right. You don’t know how to contact me.”

You opened your mouth to remind Loki that you didn’t want to contact him, but then something about Loki’s words rang strange.

“Alone?” you echoed.

“Yes, alone. Or do you expect your Prince Charming to come riding up on a horse of white any second now? Better late than never?”

Without thinking, without warning, you slapped him straight across the face.

“Ow!” he snapped, pressing one of his hands to the mark on his face. “What was that for?”

“What did you do?” You lifted your hand for another blow. “What did you do to Jared?”

“Me? Do something to Jared? What should I have to do with that ponderous ass?”

“Did you kill him, Loki?” you asked, voice quavering. Loki could do it. Easily. He was a god, and Jared just…well, just a ponderous ass.

Loki let out a single bark of laughter. “Oh, please. I just got out of Asgardian prison. As if I’d risk going back over the murder of a petty moral such as he.”

That brought you up short. Frowning, you deigned to look at him again. “Prison?”

“Yes, prison. Did you think my absence was due to taking a pleasure cruise?”

“I thought you’d escaped prison when I found you the first time.”

“But you sent me back to Asgard when I started causing trouble,“ he reminded you. "Odin does not forget his son’s crimes easily, nor is he inclined to forgive them. Luckily my brother is far easier to manipulate.”

He had not, you noticed, made any real move to leave. Loki still stood in front of you, looking down as the pink handprint faded from his cheek.

“So…you didn’t kill my fiancé?” you asked uncertainly.

He shook his head. “If he isn’t here, it is because he is a dunce, not because I tricked him in any way.”

“Oh.” All the problems of your appearance seemed at once apparent and embarrassing. To think that this man would see you in such a state, and only because he’d wanted to see you after his release from jail. “Why did you really come, then? Since you knew he wasn’t here. To gloat?”

“The thought did occur to me,” Loki confessed. “I am not often in the position of being the more desirable choice. But,” here his voice turned oddly sincere, “I actually came to ask you to come with me.”

Your mouth fell open. Some of Loki’s usual acerbic amusement returned as he watched you flounder; you could see the faint outlines of his familiar smirk at the corners of his mouth. Finally, you managed a short, “go with you where?”

He shrugged, and started to twist the curtain in between his long, pale fingers. “I don’t know, really.”

“You want me to go somewhere with you without anywhere in mind?”

“I thought we’d figure it out as we went along,” he said. “Travel the galaxies. I cannot return to Asgard and Midgard, of course, is out of the question so long as I do not rule it.”

“You want me to follow you into outerspace?”

Only his silence could tip you off that Loki was actually nervous. He clearly had no idea how you would respond to his suggestion–which was by falling into a nearby chair to gape at him.

“You want me to leave my family?” you asked.

“They live far away and hardly talk to you.”

“And my job?”

“That you’ve never liked. We’re both aware.”

“And my best friend?”

“She spends most of her time visiting mosques in India with her boyfriend,” Loki said with a dismissive flick of his hand. “Besides, there’s no rule to say we can’t come back to visit her every so often. I have no objection. She seems a sensible enough woman.”

“And you want me to leave them all,” you went on as though you couldn’t hear him, “for you, a man I haven’t seen in years because he was in prison.”

Once more, Loki said nothing. His green eyes peered into yours with unreadable depths, just as they had the unfortunate day you had returned home after to work to find your injured pigeon friend gone and a strange man eating all of the meat out of your fridge in its place. You could remember, too, the feel of that man’s skin against yours, the heat of his lips on your neck, the sound of his low voice in your ear–and Jared complaining, always complaining, about how much time you spent with that damn bird.

You buried your face in your hands. “I can’t do it, Loki. I can’t.”

You waited to hear him leave again, to hear the glass move and the rush of the storm and the flutter of wings. None came. All that did was one soft word:

“Please.”

“Huh?”

When you looked up, Loki was right above you. His hands gripped the chair arms at your sides with enough force to make them whiter than ever–but his eyes were not on yours anymore.

“Please,” he said, “I don’t want to lose you, too.”

Another move without thinking or warning: You gently touched his other cheek.

Loki’s eyes closed for a half second before he moved one hand to hold your wrist there. “I have already lost my father, my mother, my home. My own brother has thrust me unceremoniously from both realms I sought to rule. And then to hear that I would lose you, too, to an oaf like that Jared.”

No one could say that Loki losing all of this wasn’t entirely his fault. He had decided to lead an alien invasion into Earth, to try murdering several members of his mentioned family, and to seduce young Earth women under the guise of hurt animals. But part of Loki’s charm was that he never failed to make one doubt that he could be better, maybe, if you only let him try.

“I’m sorry,” you said sincerely. A sincere apology didn’t mean your mind was changed, however, and this, also, Loki knew.

“Do you want me to beg?” he asked. “I am no longer a stranger to begging.”

With that, Loki slid to the wooden floor before you. Stranger or no, it was positive it wasn’t a position he relished being in, what with how stiff his hands were around yours when he made to hold them. He swallowed, took a deep breath, and began:

“I know I am asking a lot. But I, too, have lost a family, a job, and my closest friends. I would not ask you to come with me if I did not intend on paying you pack ten times in kind. If you will allow me to take you with me, I know I can make you happier than you would be here. Together we will find some place to call our own, and you shall be my queen. So please,” he said, “please let me keep one last thing that I love. Don’t make me leave you behind, too.”

It wasn’t the prettiest speech you had ever heard come out of his mouth, but it was probably the most honest. You gave him a tiny smile as you squeezed his hands in return. “A queen, huh?”

Loki smirked. “Or a comfortable, quiet living, depending on what we find, and how thorough Thor is in seeking me out. At least we could be comfortable and quiet for a little while.”

“Can’t imagine that’s going to last long with you around.”

“With you around to look after me, though…”

That got you to laugh. “Oh, yes, I’m sure I’d do a wonderful job making sure you didn’t get into any trouble. I did such a good job before.”

Some of the color returned to Loki’s features. He was starting to hope. Against your better judgement, so were you. A couple of things, however, remained to bother you:

“What if you came here and Jared and I were married?” you asked.

“Then I would have had to resort to kidnapping.”

“And how did you even know I was getting married today to begin with?”

He smiled his Cheshire smile, and that was when you knew you were truly lost. “You really ought to stop talking to the birds on your fire escape. You never know which one would be willing to pass information off in exchange for a couple of peanuts.”

“Oh, and you stalk me. What part of this deal doesn’t sound good?”

“None of it, I should hope.” Standing, Loki kept one hand firmly around one of yours. “We should go, you realize. Unless you want to say your goodbyes?”

You thought of your parents blustering about how you dared to invite both of them to your wedding. You thought of the forlorn apartment you shared with a man that had never really loved you for you. You thought of Aliyah and her instance that Jared would never be good enough for you. You thought of the awkward explanation that would be expected as soon you set foot outside that door–and you grinned.

“Not a chance.”

“Then I believe,” he said, and abruptly pulled you into his arms in an obvious parody of carrying a bride before pushing the window open with his boot, “we have a few errands to go on before we get on our way.”

“Like what?”

“Unless you plan to live the rest of our lives with nothing but multiple blenders,” he began, but was not able to finish over your sudden laughter and the return of the torrent outside.

You latched your hands behind his neck as he dove back into the rain. There were stars somewhere above those clouds, and you would be visiting them soon enough–them and endless other realms. Maybe eloping with a man that could turn into a pigeon wasn’t the best miracle there ever was on Midgard, but it pulled off the most important trick of them all: Against all odds, you lived happily ever after.

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