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thetomorrowshow · 3 years

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i will make the sky collapse ch. 3

First - Previous - Read on AO3!

Ok this post is queued bc y’all will not believe how busy I am, so it’ll be on ao3 a little late

CW: referenced violence, food, brief allusion to suicide, spiraling thoughts (from mr. jack kelly himself)

Jack had been here all day. When he ran from the rooftop after the disastrous strike, he’d snuck in through the backdoor of the theater and curled up in a corner, shaking and gasping and barely holding back tears. He’d been so close to just throwing himself off the rooftop, close enough that he knew he couldn’t stay there.

Now he hid behind the various set pieces, trying to not disturb anyone who still might be working around here this late. Not that there should be anyone, now. He’d even completely avoided Miss Medda. The woman liked to believe that she knew everything that went on around the theater, and Jack was content enough to let her. He couldn’t be found right now, though. Not when his nose burned and eyes smarted and knees wouldn’t stop shaking.

He would talk to Medda in the morning. It was late now, and all the lights were out, so it wasn’t like he had much of an option otherwise. Talk to her, maybe paint a background or two . . . maybe she would pay him like she offered . . . then he would be out of here, as soon as he could get Crutchie.

Crutchie. His heart practically split in half, and a tear finally slipped down his nose. They got Crutchie. They took him to the one place Jack had tried to save him from his entire life.

He had plans to head there near dawn tomorrow--after he’d spent another day planning things out. It shouldn’t be too hard to get him--or it wouldn’t, had it been anyone other than Crutchie. Any other boy would figure out how to climb down the wall, but it would be impossible without all working limbs. Crutchie’s bad leg wouldn’t be able to support him at all, especially not after the beating he’d taken in the Square (and definitely not after whatever Snyder and his goons had done so far during his stay, but Jack didn’t like to think about that). Jack could go in the front, the only door . . . but there was no way someone wouldn’t see him. There was always a guard or three hanging around, if not the Spider himself. And how would he get Crutchie down the stairs all by his lonesome?

A tiny voice spoke up in the back of his head, one that he’d been pushing down all evening. You coulds just go, it said. Forget about him, forget about all of them. Just go.

I can’t do that, Jack wanted to cry. He’s my brother, I can’ts just abandon him to Snyder!

People don’t stay in our lives forever, Jack, it reminded him. He’d never make it to Santa Fe, anyhow.

Jack couldn’t deny that. Maybe on a better day, in a better month. Maybe when Crutchie was grown, and his leg had calmed down a bit. Not now though, certainly not tomorrow. If Jack was going to leave soon, he was going to do it on his own. He didn’t want none of the others to come with him, anyhow. Only Crutchie.

Jack drew a hand across his tear-stained face, wincing as he brushed one of his bruises. Maybe in the morning he’d have a clearer head, a better understanding of what on earth he was meant to do. It wasn’t like the strike could continue, after all. They’d all end up in the Refuge for sure, or even worse. He’d seen Romeo get socked by that cop, had no idea how he was doing. If they kept on striking, more police would come, better armed and with no qualms about a bunch of stupid street rats.

None of them, save maybe Les, had escaped with zero injuries. Everyone was bleeding and bruised and crying and Crutchie was in the Refuge, and it was all Jack’s fault for getting the riled up about this in the first place. They were just kids! None of them knew what a union was supposed to be, even if Davey knew a bit about them! They were just children playacting at being adults, thinking that the trolley workers were probably having a good old time with no work while they got arrangements for better conditions, not even caring that there were full grown men dying in that strike. People died in strikes, and Jack couldn’t let it happen to any one of his boys, not before they properly got to be a person yet.

So he would leave--no, sleep on it, but he was fairly certain of his choice. Leaving, having to trust that the others would quit the strike and just deal with the raise in prices. That Crutchie would be out in a few months and be good enough to get right back to business, and maybe smiling that face-splitting smile of his eventually. Jack had to believe that he’d--that they’d all--be okay.

He couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his stomach as he balled his shirt up into a pillow, nor could he stop a few more tears from wetting his cheeks. This was going to be by far the hardest and worst thing he’d ever done. He just had to hold on to Santa Fe. Everything was going to be fine when he got there.

Medda had given him one of those disapproving looks of hers, which Jack tried to ignore as his face burned. It had turned to blatant concern when he didn’t refuse her offer of payment. She had let it go, thankfully, and now he was waiting for the base white layer of paint to dry so he could start with the reds and oranges of a sunset. He’d already been waiting for what felt like way too long, so he stuck his thumb to the corner of it. It left a print and came back white, so Jack sighed and wiped it on his shirt--his undershirt, he’d taken his blue button-up off as soon as he’d gotten the paint out.

He couldn’t just not do anything--he could feel his feet itching to go, his head clamoring for his conscious attention. He absently flapped a brush back and forth against his palm, wondering if he could start on another while he waited, get the base coat of that one done and drying while he started on the actual painting of the first one. First he ought to sign this one, though, before he forgot.

Jack always signed his work, usually just on the back of the piece. A quickly scrawled ‘Jack K--’ in black paint, something to set it aside from all the other set pieces. He also knew that the boards would get reused countless times, painted over and cut up and redesigned. It was nice to know that under all that change, his name was there.

He spun it around and cracked open the can of black paint, dipping his brush in lightly and placing it on the blank back of the slab of wood. He could do his name big, more noticeable but with a better chance of getting scraped off. Or tiny, in the corner, somewhere it’d probably stay forever. Then he realized that while he’d been considering, he’d begun painting.

A boy, small, but very clearly a newsie, by his bag. An anguished face. A crutch.

Jack nearly dropped the brush. Was his guilt getting that bad, that he was painting Crutchie out of nowhere? Well, he couldn’t leave him there all alone on the canvas, with such a terrible look on his face. So Jack dipped his brush back in the paint and began another boy, not himself--not now that he was leaving--but Davey, as he liked to think that as Crutchie and Davey would become good friends in time. But Davey needed Les, and Les needed other boys, but of course they couldn’t be painted into this. They were too busy being suffocated by Pulitzer--and with that thought, Jack knew what he was painting.

The landscape had started out as any random place, just like all of them did. Mountains, a valley maybe, warm colors and some purple thrown in to capture the magic of a stained-glass sunset, and suddenly it was Santa Fe, exactly as Jack pictured it in his head. This happened with every single backdrop, from meadows to beaches to forests. All of them were Santa Fe, even if they weren’t.

“You ever gonna paint somewhere else, Jack?” a voice asked behind him, as he surveyed his work so far. He chuckled, not turning around, holding his thumb out in front of him the way he’d seen real painters do. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he thought it looked professional-like.

“How could you tell, Miss Medda?”

“Boy, I can tell everything.”

Jack dropped his arm and set his brush down on the floor, wiping his hands on his shirt as he turned around. Medda frowned.

“You are wearing an apron, use it!”

Oh yeah, he was. He moved his hands to it belatedly, smiling a little when Medda laughed at him. She was dressed to leave, not in a costume like Jack had assumed she would be. Were the shows over already?

“I’m heading out for a quick supper,” Medda said, and Jack nodded. One of the shows was over then, the other would be starting soon. He hadn’t lost track of as much time as he thought. “Do you want me to get you somethin’?”

“Aw, don’t worry ya’self over me,” Jack waved off. Sure, he hadn’t had anything to eat all day, but he could grab himself something later. By the look on Medda’s face, she was going to worry herself over him.

“I’ll bring you a sandwich, free of charge,” she said, reaching forward to pat his shoulder. He winced; he hadn’t realized he had a bruise there. Medda gave him another look, then turned to leave. Over her shoulder, she called, “By the way, Jack, there’s someone here to see you. I told him to wait in box five.”

Jack froze. They’d found him. It had to be Davey, didn’t it? The other boys knew that he stopped by the theater every so often, but didn’t know about his paintings. They just thought he knew one of the actors, or was getting food from the back or something. Only Davey and Les knew he worked here on occasion.

Jack put off visiting the box until after Miss Medda returned and told him to get up there before she sent the kid off herself. It was time to confess, he supposed. Let them know he wanted the strike to stop, and was leaving anyhow. At least someone would be able to tell Crutchie where he’d gone. And Katherine, if she cared.

This time he remembered to wipe his hands on his apron, then bundled it up and threw it into a corner. The painting wasn’t done, but he wanted to let it all dry before adding his finishing details. Every time he’d painted before, he hadn’t waited at all and it always came out looking more smudged than he wanted, so he’d decided to experiment a bit. Maybe it would look okay.

He couldn’t put it off any longer, it was time to face the music--or, Davey, rather. Jack knew his way around the theater, so it wasn’t hard to avoid the milling patrons in the lobby completely and skip straight up to box five, ready to talk to--

Specs?

“Specs?”

Specs.

“Specs.”

Specs leaped up from where he’d been perching on the edge of one of the fancy theater chairs, looking guilty as anything. When he saw Jack, though, his face brightened. “You’re all right!”

“Yeah, better than ever,” Jack griped, his eyes caught on the nasty hand-shaped bruise wrapped around Specs’s forearm. “Whaddya need?”

“We’s thought you mighta gotten grabbed by Snyder,” Specs said, looking him up and down, no doubt taking in his relatively few injuries. “The Delanceys been sayin’ you ran. I think some o’ the fellas mighta believed it, but Race thought ya’d be here so I cames by as soon as I could!”

Jack hadn’t counted on telling anyone other than Davey where he was going, but maybe this was for the best. Davey was so new to this, there was no way he could be in charge. Race was the first to come to mind for his replacement, but Race was so stupidly impulsive that Jack wasn’t sure he would be able to keep the boys in line. Specs would do well, though, at least until a better choice came forward. Used to the life, but always a little separate from the others, focusing more on the job than the social aspect. Still, he could have fun, and he was quietly loyal. Yeah, Specs would make a pretty good replacement. Jack opened his mouth to say something along those lines when a dirty scrap of paper was shoved in his face.

“What’s this?” he said instead.

Specs looked nervous and abashed at the same time. “Letter from Crutchie,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I went ta visit last night and he askeds me to give it to ya.”

Jack stared at the paper, taking in none of its details, then shifted his gaze to Specs. His eyes looked honest, if a bit anxious, mouth curved hopefully at the corner. The scrape on his cheek was ugly, but didn’t look infected. Davey must’ve made them all clean up with soap. That was another thing he’d have to tell Specs to remember. If he was going to be in charge, he had to know that Elmer hated the texture of the soap so bad he wouldn’t use it and had to be threatened, that Race sometimes liked to impulsively smear dirt on his wounds to try and get sympathy when it got infected.

Crutchie had written to him.

Jack grabbed the letter so quickly it almost tore, sending Specs stumbling back. Now that he was focused on it, that was definitely Crutchie’s handwriting, starting out relatively neat and just devolving into larger loops and tinier scribbles as it carried on. The paper was dirty, the pencil smudged here and there, and a rusty stain in the middle of the paper that made Jack’s stomach turn as he imagined how it had gotten there.

“I’ll just be headin’ back,” he heard Specs say distantly, but Jack couldn’t look away from the letter. Crutchie had held this, just last night, and he had been alive. Well enough to write a whole letter. Well enough to still have his sense of humor (Jack snorted at his joke about the food, then remembered the sentence preceding it and immediately sobered). Maybe even well enough to escape?

His letter read that he was already coming up with escape plans of his own, which was a good sign for his morale. It also said, though, that he was exhausted and his leg was doing bad.

Well, there was no way Jack couldn’t visit him now. Early in the morning was best--probably when the moon was about halfway done setting--and from there he would see whether or not Crutchie would be coming with him. Then back to the theater to lay low for a bit and finish the backdrop (there was no way Jack would be able to even think about finishing it tonight), then catch a train to Santa Fe and be out of here forever. If Crutchie did come, though, he’d have to do at least two more sets, get enough money for the both of them to make the trip. And of course, he still had to speak to Specs about taking over. Davey would come for him eventually, so he had to come up with something to placate him.

Why did nobody tell him that running away would take so much effort and planning?

The show was starting soon, and that sandwich was still waiting for him in the back room, so Jack ducked out of the box, tucking the letter into his pocket. He had to get ready for a break-in tonight, there was no time to waste.

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max-is-tired · 4 years

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Misconceptions: A Show

Pairing: Intrulogical

Characters: Remus Sanders, Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Deceit Sanders.

Words: 3.941

Warnings: sympathetic Deceit & Remus, swearing, some graphic talk bc it’s Remus, screaming in caps

Notes: Finally, I can post this monster of a fic -hey there, @princeyssash, guess who was your secret santa? This fic was honestly so much fun to write, I swear -I loved all of the prompts I had, but this one just called to me,,, I had to,,

Big thanks to @purp-man for betaing this fic for me and listening to my 3am rambles, and shoutout to @afulldeckofaces for helping me flesh out some plot points, like Virgil memeing his way through Roman’s plans. You’re the absolute best <33

Commission me!! Buy me a coffee!! My Discord server!! AO3!!

It was a normal day in the mindscape.

Patton was humming happily in the kitchen, shuffling around with a pep in his step as he mixed the batter for some cookies. In the living room, Logan and Virgil were enjoying each other’s company while doing their own thing, may it be reading or half-slouching on the couch while scrolling aimlessly through Tumblr.

Everything was peaceful.

Until it wasn’t.

“YOU DIRTY LITTLE SEWER RAT GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!!”

Everyone jumped at the sudden shout, Virgil going as far as tumbling off the couch with a startled yelp. From upstairs, Remus’ unmistakable laughter bounced on the walls, followed shortly after by the twin himself bolting down the stairs with a maniacal grin on his face.

“Oh god,” Virgil groaned from the floor, pinching the bridge of his nose, “what the fuck did he do now?”

“Language, kiddo,” Patton called, emerging from the kitchen with a confused frown on his face.

Turns out, they didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“REMUS!!” Roman screeched, running down the stairs. He looked thoroughly pissed, eyes flashing dangerously as he glared daggers at his brother.

Virgil took one look at him, blinked, and then promptly broke down cackling.

“Stop laughing, Hot Topic!” Roman exclaimed, cheeks flushing red. Not that his blush was very noticeable, due to the various scribbles and crude drawings covering his face. “Look at what he did to my beautiful face!”

“You just don’t understand real art, brother dearest,” Remus snickered, waving the marker in his hand around.

“Oh, I’ll show you real art,” Roman muttered darkly, unsheathing his sword as he stalked down the last steps of the stairs.

At the sight of the unsheathed sword, Virgil’s eyes widened in alarm, his body tensing slightly as it became clear the situation was starting to escalate. Beside him, Logan looked at the two brothers, sighed in resignation and snapped the book in his hands shut.

“That’s quite enough, you two,” he said, staring the two brothers down with a raised eyebrow.

“Specs, he drew penises on my face! Multiple times!!”

“Which you can easily snap off with a wave of your hand,” Logan pointed out, “I do not believe there is any need for all this screaming, or for weapons to be brought into the picture.”

“Logan, you don’t understand, I gotta fight him now! For my honor!!” Roman exclaimed, waving his arms around -and therefore further proving Logan’s point by almost cutting Deceit’s head off as the side rose up to check what the commotion was about.

“Oi, watch it!” Deceit called out, ducking to avoid another accidental swipe of Roman’s sword, “who are you, Zuko?”

“If Roman’s Zuko then Logan is totally Uncle Iroh,” Virgil added, still lying on the floor.

Logan shrugged. “If we are referring to the first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender then yes, I can see the similarities.”

Roman squinted at them, finally lowering his sword. “There is an insult somewhere in that phrase. I don’t know where, but I know there is.”

“It’s because you’re a dumb-head, bro!” Remus cackled, once again calling the attention to himself.

Roman growled, looking more than ready to stalk through the room and tackle his twin to the ground, but Logan anticipated him before the situation could escalate once again.

“Remus, I believe this is quite enough,” he said, turning towards the aforementioned twin.

“Aw, but Logan, I’m just having some fun!”

Logan simply raised an eyebrow, staring him down.

“Ugh, fiiiine!” Remus finally groaned, throwing the marker somewhere behind himself, “that does not mean I’m happy about it though!”

Then, he sank out.

Peace once again established, Logan hummed and leaned back on the couch, going back to reading his book.

Or at least that was the plan.

“What the fuck just happened?” Virgil asked, staring at him in disbelief.

“Virgil, language!!”

“Sorry Padre, but I gotta agree with Cout Woelaf here,” Roman said, sword laying limp in his grip, “that was nothing less but weird.”

“I honestly do not understand where all of this apparent confusion is coming from,” Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You told Remus to stop!” Roman exclaimed, throwing his arms up, “and he listened to you!!”

“Roman, your sword!” Deceit hissed in frustration, having had to duck for the third time to avoid being cut in tiny scaley pieces. “If you don’t put it down this instant I might just try and stab you with it, do not try me.”

Roman grumbled but complied, making the sword disappear with a wave of his hand. Then, he crossed his arms, looking once again towards the logical side. “My point still stands though. Remus never listens to anyone, like, ever.”

“Yeah, I think I have to agree with them here Lo,” Patton said, still standing under the kitchen’s doorway, “that was a little weird.”

“Well, I do not know what to tell you,” Logan countered, “I asked him to stop, he complied and then sank out -it’s as simple as that.”

“If you say so,” Roman said, squinting at him in suspicion.

From the other side of the room, Deceit gave him A Look, appearing to be torn between amusement and concern. Logan subtly raised an eyebrow in response, making sure the others would not notice their silent exchange.

After all, it wasn’t like he could just tell them the truth, could he?

+++

When Logan finally sank up in his room, sometime later, he was not surprised to see a very familiar side sprawled on his bed, head hanging from the side of the mattress as he threw a tiny dagger up and down in the air.

“Lolo!!” Remus grinned, spotting him, “took you a while, I was starting to get bored!”

“I wanted to finish this novel first,” Logan said, putting the book in question back to its place in his large library, “it was rather interesting.”

“You know what would be interesting?” Remus asked, not looking away from the other as he kept playing with his dagger, “to find out what would happen if this dagger hit me in the eye!! Do you think it would reach all the way to my brain?”

“I suppose it would,” Logan hummed, sitting beside the creative side and quickly catching the dagger out of the air when Remus threw it again, “but between proving that hypothesis and spending the rest of the day with my not-injured husband, I think I prefer the second option more.”

“Oh really?” Remus grinned, sitting up -a slim silver chain fell out of his shirt with the movement, the golden ring hanging from it twinkling in the light of the room. “And tell me, how would you like to spend that time, my dear?”

Logan hummed, the light pressure of his own ring hiding under his shirt bringing a smile to his face. “Oh, I’m sure my dear husband will have some ideas of his own to share.”

“Oh, you are wicked,” Remus said, before leaning in to capture Logan’s lips in a kiss.

+++

For a while, it seemed like whatever had happened in the living room had been forgotten -the others were still confused by how easy it was for Logan to make Remus listen to him, but most of them waved it off as Logic easily overpowering Intrusive Thoughts with rationality and all that shit.

(Deceit knew better than that, but that was mostly because lying to him was next to impossible and Logan had been smart enough to let him in on their secret as soon as it had started to become a serious thing, both to help the couple lie to the other sides and to avoid him finding out on his own and potentially jeopardizing their cover.)

Point is, no one had yet discovered the real reason between the apparent chemistry between the two sides. But that didn’t mean they weren’t starting to notice things.

The first one to start suspecting something was, surprisingly enough, Virgil.

He had been sneaking to the kitchen around 3am, planning to grab a quick snack from the pantry and then tip-toe back to his own room, all the while hoping not to alert anyone of his nighttime escapade -he had already been at the receiving end of several stern talks about his fucked-up sleeping schedule and did not want to have to sit through another one, thank you very much.

What he had not been expecting, was to find himself staring at Logan’s back, the logical side looking busy filling two mugs with steaming water.

Virgil froze on his tracks, eyes wide in alarm as he tried to figure out how to sneak back out of the kitchen and up the stairs without being noticed. Unfortunately, Logan seemed to have other ideas and turned around before the anxious side could make up his mind about the next course of action.

“Uh,” Logan said, blinking in surprise, “hello, Virgil. I have to be honest, I was not expecting to meet anyone at this hour of the night.”

“Likewise, I guess,” Virgil shrugged, giving the other a tiny smile, “why are you up at this hour anyway? Weren’t you the one waxing poetry about the importance of a regular sleep schedule?”

“I got sidetracked, I guess. One late night won’t harm me in any way or form, I assure you.”

Virgil snickered. “I’m telling Patton you said that.”

“I don’t think you will,” Logan countered, calm as ever as he put down the kettle and moved to grab the two cups, “because if you do I will tell Patton about you sneaking into the kitchen at 3am with, as it appears, not a single ounce of sleep in your body.”

“... harsh, L. Real harsh.”

“Just stating facts,” Logan said, before walking out of the kitchen.

Virgil stared after him, watching the logical side leisurely cross the living room and walk up the stairs until he could not see him anymore. Then, he shrugged, quickly walking to the pantry and grabbing the snack he had come for.

He straightened up, holding triumphantly a bag of chips, only to freeze up again when a tiny detail finally struck him.

“Wait, why the fuck did he have two mugs?”, he wondered, turning back to glance at the stairs. Then, he turned towards the kitchen counter, noticing a little bag sitting just to the side of where Logan had been standing just a few seconds before.

“Kuding Tea” read the caption on the front of the bag, the inside filled with slim, dark tea nails.

Virgil frowned, rolling the name around in his head. He was sure he had heard it before, but where?

+++

The second one was Roman.

He had been strolling idly around the Imagination, humming a song under his breath as he walked along a path in the woods. Of course, his guard wasn’t completely down, not now that he was so near Remus’ side of the Imagination -while his relationship with his brother had greatly improved in the last year or so, he was still very much aware of the dangerous creatures lurking in his brother’s domain, and Roman had no desire to be caught by surprise by one of them.

Could you imagine the teasing, if Remus ever were to find out?

So yeah, he was still being very attentive to his surroundings -that’s probably half of the reason why he found himself hesitating when what sounded like distant laughter reached his ears.

Roman stilled, focusing on his surroundings. But all he could hear was silence, and after a few more seconds he was about ready to shrug it off to his imagination.

Then, the same, faint sound echoed from somewhere in the forest.

Curious, Roman started following the sound, watching his steps as his hand moved to hover over the handle of his sword -better be safe than sorry, he figured.

It didn’t take long for him to reach his destination, the forest receding just a few feet in front of him to make room for a vast, lush clearing. What he found, however, was something he could have never fathomed.

In the middle of the clearing, sitting on the grass in front of each other, were Remus and Logan, looking way too engrossed in their own conversation to notice the stunned prince staring at them from just behind a tree.

Remus seemed to be showing Logan something, looking completely enraptured by whatever Logan was saying.

The logical side was talking animatedly, waving his hands around with a grin as he occasionally gestured to something sitting between them. And Remus, well, he was staring at Logan with an expression Roman was pretty sure he’d never seen on his twin’s face.

He was looking at Logan like he was the sole holder of every secret of the universe, like he was everything he could see and hear.

He looked absolutely, utterly smitten, and Roman did not know what to do with that information.

+++

For Patton, well, it was more of a gradual realization.

He may not be the smartest in the group, but he was not by any means an idiot. He had noticed right away the potential chemistry between the two sides, the way Logan never seemed to be fazed by Remus’ shenanigans or the way Remus seemed to enjoy poking fun at the logical side.

Initially, he had not been very thrilled about it. But as time went on and they started to get closer to the dark sides, he could see how those two being friends could be highly beneficial for everyone, Remus and Logan included.

And he thought that was all it was -a blossoming friendship!

But the more time passed, the more Patton started to realize how that wasn’t exactly the case.

He didn’t know what initially tipped him off, really. Maybe it was the shared glances when one of them thought the other wasn’t looking, or the smile both of the sides seemed to fight down when in the presence of the other.

Maybe it was the subtle change in Logan’s demeanor, the way he’d grown calmer, happier, metaphorically softer around the edges ever since he and Remus had started growing closer.

Something was starting to bloom between the two sides, and Patton was not so sure it was a simple, innocent friendship anymore.

+++

Things came to a head one fateful Saturday afternoon, with Logan stuck revising schedules with Thomas and Remus doing who-knows-what in the Imagination.

The other sides were all lounging in the living room, all doing their own thing.

Then, Roman spoke up.

“Do you guys think something’s going on between Remus and Logan?”

Virgil, who was very much not expecting to hear something like that in the foreseeable future, jumped up from where he had been sprawled on the couch, headphones hanging limp from his neck as he stared wide-eyed at the creative side.

“Please tell me you’re not implying what I think you are implying.”

Roman shrugged, looking away as he scratched the base of his neck. “I don’t know what to tell you, Panic! At The Everywhere -I’m just asking.”

“If I have to be completely honest, actually,” piped up Patton from his place on the floor, stopping the episode of Parks & Rec they had been using as a background, “I have noticed some strange things too.”

“Right??” Roman exclaimed, “I saw them in the Imagination, last week, and I swear to god at one point Remus’ expression almost rivaled the way Logan usually looks at a jar of Crofters.”

“Whoa there Princey,” Virgil said, “don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little?”

“I know what I saw, J.D-lightful.”

“And I think Logan could be developing some feelings for Remus, even if he probably hasn’t quite realized it yet,” Patton added.

Virgil went to argue, but suddenly a realization struck him.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered in shock, suddenly looking like he was reevaluating everything he’d ever known.

“What?” Roman asked, confused.

“I caught Logan down in the kitchen, the other day,” Virgil explained, “he was brewing two cups of tea -which I found rather strange, really, but it was something like 3am so I didn’t question it too much. But I saw the name of the tea he brewed, and it felt familiar but I didn’t connect the dots until now.”

“Well?” Roman prompted, “We’re on the edge of our seats here, Marilyn Morose.”

“It was Kuding Tea, aka Remus’ favorite,” Virgil revealed. “He made us brew it all the time, and he was the only one able to drink that stuff because it’s one of the most bitter things you could ever try to swallow.”

Patton hummed, looking deep in thought. “Looks like those two might be closer than we thought.”

Roman grinned, something akin to mischief glinting in his eyes. “How about we help them grow just a little bit closer, uh?”

“We can discuss all of that later, Ro, but first there’s another thing we need to talk about,” Patton said, before turning to look at Virgil with a stern look on his face. “Virgil Sanders, what’s this I hear about you being up at 3am again?”

(Engrossed as they were in the new revelations, none of the sides noticed the tiny smirk stretching on Deceit’s face as he watched the scene unfold. He could have tried to stop them from trying to meddle, sure.

But where would be the fun in that?)

+++

As it turned out, not a single one of the sides’ plans came even close to its goal.

First came Patton’s idea, which was arguably the most subtle. They set up a family dinner, pestering the two sides until they confirmed their presence at the table. Then, very last minute, everyone gave random excuses as to why they couldn’t come. Everyone was sure it would work, even if they didn’t stick around to find out -knowing Remus’s tendency to make things rather… spicy, they didn’t want to find out what would happen after the two finally confessed their feelings.

However, when, the day after, they asked Logan how the dinner had gone, the logical side simply leveled them with a confused stare.

“Since you all weren’t there we just agreed to bring the food back to our rooms and keep doing our work -I still had some possible scripts to read through so it worked just fine for me.”

So, it looked like plan A had been a failure.

Roman, in all of his finesse and “romantic prowess” (his exact words), decided to put his own plan in action -which consisted of not-so-subtly shoving the two sides in the same room and “accidentally” break the doorknob, effectively trapping them inside.

(“Wow, a true Cupido alright.”

“Oh, shut up, you Emo Nightmare.”)

However, Roman’s incredible, astonishing, foolproof plan (again, his exact words) did not account for one specific aspect, aka Remus’ tendency of not letting puny, material things like doors keep him trapped.

In less than five minutes, the two sides were free once again, easily sidestepping what little remained of the door with Remus still holding his morning star in his hands.

And just like that, plan B joined its predecessor down the metaphorical toilet.

Last came Virgil’s plan, which was quite different from the other two’s -it was succinct, concise, and the farthest thing from subtle you could ever think of.

“Hey L,” he called one day, not even looking up from his phone, “what if you went and kissed Remus?”

Logan slowly looked up from his book. “... I apologize, what?”

Virgil shrugged, smirking. “Don’t worry, I’m just kidding. Unless…?”

Logan blinked at him, looking thoroughly confused. “Virgil, are you unwell? How many hours of rest did you get last night?”

And that’s how plan C joined its sibling down in the metaphorical sewer.

(“Your plan was a meme??”

“At least I didn’t try to cliché them into a relationship, Princey.”)

Point is, by the end of the week the three sides had still to come up with a tactic that could actually work. So, they planned another brainstorm question in the living room.

Only, they appeared to have greatly miscalculated Remus and Logan’s whereabouts.

“Alright, you guys want to share with the class what the fuck is going on already?”

The three sides jumped in unison, whipping their heads around to stare at the two sides standing at the bottom of the stairs. Remus was leaning on the railing, looking at them expectantly, while Logan was standing just beside him with his arms crossed in front of his chest, one single eyebrow raised in a silent question.

“Uuuuuh…” Patton spoke up, looking at the other two in search of help, “language?”

“Pat, I think my language is the least of our problems now,” Remus retorted, refusing to drop the subject, “so, who wants to start talking first?”

The three sides, who looked like three deers caught in the headlights, seemed to grow more panicked by the second, searching for a possible explanation and coming up empty-handed.

“We found out you guys have a crush on each other and wanted to help you two get together!” Roman finally blurted.

“Roman!” Virgil growled, turning to glare at the creative side.

“I’m sorry!” Roman squeaked, throwing his arms up in frustration.

“You could have been a little more… tactful about it, kiddo,” Patton said, smiling nervously as they all waited with bated breath what the two’s reactions would be.

Logan and Remus blinked, dumbfounded. Then, they turned to look at each other, before Remus decided that the best course of action was, of course, to break down into hysterical giggles, compete with wheezing and tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

As for Logan, well, he limited himself to chuckling, looking downright amused by the whole situation.

So yeah, not exactly the reactions the others were expecting.

“... what?” Virgil asked, “please tell me I’m not the only confused one right now.”

“Apologies, Virgil,” Logan said, as Remus kept merrily cackling his lungs out on the floor, “we just thought something serious was going on, since you have all been acting strangely during the last week or so. Discovering that the reason behind your strange behavior was that, well, is rather amusing.”

“Wait, is that your way of telling us you actually don’t like Remus?” Roman said.

“Actually, I do like him, in a romantic sense,” Logan chuckled, throwing a fond look at the side wheezing on the ground. “We have been engaged in a romantic relationship for a while now.”

“... I know I probably sound like a broken record but what?”

“He wants to tap this booty, Vee!” Remus cackled, “and I’m 100% down for that!”

“ By the horn of a unicorn, please spare us the details,” Roman muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“So that means you guys are already in a relationship?!” Patton exclaimed, a wide grin on his face as he clapped his hands in obvious delight, “oh my gosh, that’s so cute! I’m so happy for you guys!!”

“I don’t know if I want to be angry because you guys didn’t tell us or because my brother somehow managed to score a boyfriend before me,” Roman grumbled.

Logan and Remus shared a glance at that, mischief twinkling in both of their eyes. Then, once it appeared they were both on the same page, Remus spoke, barely stopping himself from giggling in anticipation.

“Actually we’re married, but go off I guess.”

Silence fell, seconds ticking by as the news started to sink in.

“Now hold on a second you guys aRE WHAT-”

And then, chaos.

#sanders sides #intrulogical #lomus #remus sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #swearing #caps #intrulogical fluff #lomus fluff #ts fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #maxiswriting

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sapphirestarxx · 3 years

Photo

My Gift Is You

Find it on Ao3!

SUMMARY: Christmas is coming up and Kagome is determined to make it home in time. Inuyasha doesn't want her to go. She has a surprise for him but doesn't want to ruin it...will their misunderstandings ruin the holiday or will they make up in time to spend it together?

oneshot!

****

This was written for @thelovelysinner (also known as totaku) for the IYFF BC’s 2020 Secret Santa!! She requested InuKag + canon, and I did my best to deliver~ Enjoy!

Tag Wall: @lavendertwilight89 @hnn-wnchstr @cstormsinukagblog @cstorm86 @ruddcatha @fawn-eyed-girl @neutronstarchild @kagometaishostory @liz8080 @itzatakahashi @karina-inuphantom @anxietyaardvark @bluejay785 @ladyphoenix0711 @witchygirl99 @omgitscharlie @11volleyballcaro @ravisk @caribmiko

****

It was going to be Christmas in two weeks and Kagome was determined to make it back to her side of the well for it. She understood that certain sacrifices had to be made in the hunt for Naraku and recovering the jewel shards, but she had already missed two Christmases. She was not going to miss a third. It was difficult to find a way to bring the topic up, but with time running out, she decided to mention it that night when they made camp.

“There’s a very important holiday coming up in my time that I don’t want to miss; so we have to be near Kaede’s village again in two weeks or I won’t make it back in time.”

“Hell no. You belong here,” Inuyasha said in immediate refusal.

“He means you belong here with him-- Ow!!” Shippo clutched his head where Inuyasha’s fist had connected.

Kagome rolled her eyes. “I go back all the time for things. Why is this any different?”

“Exactly! You go back all the time. Why can’t you just fuckin’ stay for once?”

“Because it's Christmas!”

“Christmas? What’s that?” Sango spoke up. Kirara lay in her lap and happily purred as the slayer stroked her fur.

Of course, Christmas wasn’t a thing in feudal Japan, and Kagome had been anticipating such a question. She eagerly began explaining the history of it and the modern-day sentiment behind it for most people. How it was a day to give back to your loved ones and cherish your family, or even show your love to someone special. And all the traditions that were practiced, like the tree, the stockings, the exchanging of presents, and (the part Kagome had been most eager to share) mistletoe.

“So if two people happen to find themselves underneath some mistletoe, they must kiss?” Miroku sounded very interested, and Kagome didn’t miss the sideways glance he gave to Sango, who blushed. “Where does one obtain such a thing?”

“Well, you don’t have to. But it’s tradition. And if you have feelings for someone, it’s a good way to find an excuse to kiss them. I don’t know where any would be found in this era, though.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“More like a relief,” Sango said dryly. Miroku sighed and Kagome bit back a smile. Like her and Inuyasha, those two were closer than they wanted to admit.

Inuyasha had been quiet up until that point and Kagome looked at him expectantly. He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Family? Loved ones? Were they not good enough for her to share it with? Was he not? She talked about the importance of spending it with people you cared about but then wanted to leave them behind to go celebrate it with others. And okay, sure, those others were her actual family, but that didn't make it sting any less. Whatever.

“I think it’s stupid,” he finally said, causing Kagome to glare.

They argued, with her swearing she would make it back. Inuyasha had other ideas, making sure she knew she would be staying. He wasn’t very happy when she told him flat-out that she would sit him six feet into the ground if he tried to stop her. What he didn’t realize was that as much as she wanted to spend Christmas with her family, Kagome really wanted to spend it with him , too. But she hadn’t even managed to get that far before Inuyasha was turning his nose up at the idea of Christmas altogether!

Fine. If he wanted to act that way about it, then that was his choice. Maybe when the time drew closer, she could get him alone and approach him about it again; he was usually more honest with her when the others weren’t around. Or maybe he was just sulking. She didn’t know and frankly, she was too annoyed to care at the moment. Honestly, Kagome didn’t want to ruin the surprise she had for him on the other side of the well. It was what was making the communication that they had gotten better at over their three years of travel together so hard. The fact she had to be slightly secretive lest she reveal anything. Stupid pride.

Over the course of the next few days he moped, his ears drooping, but if anyone mentioned his sullen mood, he snapped. Kagome was torn between irritation and feeling bad about the whole situation, although she couldn’t quite figure out why. Inuyasha never liked it when she had to leave for her era but something felt different about it this time. What upset her further was she couldn’t fix it like usual.

Then, of course, on their way back to the village, stories of another jewel shard surfaced and Inuyasha insisted they go check it out. Miroku and Sango offered to go scout the area, just the two of them, so that Kagome could stay near the well. Inuyasha wouldn’t hear of it, and after some more arguing Kagome let herself be roped in. Once Inuyasha brought up that the jewel shards were her responsibility since she was technically the guardian of the jewel, she couldn’t erase the sense of obligation that weighed heavy on her. She was the one who had shattered the Shikon Jewel, after all.

However, if she had known how complicated the matter was going to end up being, and how long it would end up taking, she might have put more effort into saying no. By the time everything was taken care of, she was two days later than what she had promised her family. Despite being upset at this, Kagome had tried one last time to talk to Inuyasha about it, alone.

It hadn’t gone well.

“So...I’m going back now. To celebrate Christmas. If you--”

“Do whatever you want. Go celebrate your holiday with your loved ones .”

Kagome blinked, a little taken aback at the sneer he was giving her. “What? Why are you saying it like that?”

“Because it’s stupid.”

“Wha--? Listen, I’m only trying to--”

“Just go, already! You’ve been dying to leave for the past two weeks!”

So much for trying to invite him. She wanted to cry. Why did things always end up like this between them? They had grown so close over the course of their journey and yet it felt like they were back at square one. The fact he was being such an asshole--the fact he was using anger and hurtful words again to cover something up--! Augh!

If this was the first Christmas she was celebrating in three years she wanted him to be a part of it. Honestly, all of them were like family to her now, but Inuyasha was special. He always had been. There were a couple of things she had planned that she really wanted him there for...but he was too busy being an asshole, and she wasn’t going to allow him to ruin her favorite holiday.

“Fine! If you’re going to be like that, then--I just--ugh!!! I give up! Goodbye, you jerk!”

And with those parting words, she’d jumped into the well. Inuyasha scowled at her departure. He didn’t understand this whole Christmas thing but she’d made it clear she wanted to spend it away from him. Kinda. Maybe… Then again, maybe he hadn’t tried very hard to understand. After being together for three years they were so much better at communicating than they used to be, but sometimes, like now, they fell into old habits. And it was pretty much his fault. Dammit. He knew that too. He was the one who got petty and hateful. Kagome was only standing her ground, but he still couldn’t shake the idea she was hiding something from him.

But Kagome was always honest with him. So, even if she was hiding something, there must have been a good reason. Like trying to surprise him…? Fuck, he was a dumbass. After standing there for a while, lost in thought, he came to two conclusions. He had acted like an immature asshole, and he was going after her.

***

Emerging from the well, Kagome climbed the stairs and left the well-house, adjusting her backpack. It was so much colder here in her time than the feudal era she had just left behind. Flurries danced by her on the sudden burst of wind that stung her face. Looking at the expanse of white already blanketing the earth, Kagome smiled. It was going to be a white Christmas. She took off for her house in a sprint. The snow was already a few inches deep but she still managed to cross the grounds in record time.

Bursting through the front door, her face shone with excitement. She may have been a couple of days later than promised, but at least she had made it in time for Christmas Eve. Finally, for the first time in the last three years that she had been looking for the Shikon shards, she was going to be home for Christmas. Not even her argument with Inuyasha could dull her happiness at that.

However, she knew something was off the moment she entered the house. All the lights were off and everything was still and quiet. Too quiet. Her excitement slowly fizzled as she made her way to the kitchen, where she saw a note sitting on the kitchen table. Setting her backpack down, she walked over to the table and picked it up, beginning to read.

Dear Kagome, Your grandfather won an all expenses paid trip to an onsen. We tried to wait for you as long as we could before leaving, but the reservation was for the 23rd. I know you must have tried so hard to make it back and that you must be doing your best. Although we’ll miss your presence dearly, I understand there are some things more important. I’m leaving this note in case you make it back and find us all gone. Your gifts have been left under the tree.

Love, Mama

The letter dropped back to the table from Kagome’s limp fingers. Her family was gone and she had come back to an empty house. All because she was late getting back, something that was entirely Inuyasha’s fault. Frustration and self-pity filled her as she clenched her fists. She’d missed her opportunity to spend Christmas with her family, which meant that now she was going to be all alone for the next few days.

Just like that, all her happiness turned to ashes. In its place a leaden weight lay heavy in her chest, making it hard to breathe. Tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill over. This was just perfect ; the one time she had managed to make it back through the well for Christmas, and her family was gone. Christmas was her favorite holiday, and one she hadn’t been able to celebrate for literally years.

That particular thought was what broke the emotional dam; suddenly all her tears were falling down. Kagome sniffed, feeling a little pathetic but also unable to help herself. She’d been looking forward to it so much. Now, part of her secretly wished she had just remained behind in the feudal era. There was really nothing stopping her from going back, but she wasn’t ready to face that stubborn idiot again so soon. And it wasn't like he cared about Christmas, anyway. He had made sure she was aware of that.

Or maybe I’m the one being stubborn, she thought with a sigh, giving in to her misery and letting herself just cry. There went her plans for Christmas dinner, listening to Christmas music, opening presents, and sitting in front of the glow of the fireplace. While she could technically do everything that she was looking forward to by herself...what was the point without any of her loved ones? Without the conversation and laughter and warm feelings? It would feel empty. Kind of like how she was currently feeling.

Wiping her eyes, she looked around at all the Christmas decorations, the sight of them just making her more depressed. When her gaze landed on the mistletoe she had hung at the bottom of the stairs she was overcome with the urge to tear it down. Stupid Inuyasha. She had been hoping to convince him to cross through the well with her, and then she would time it just right so that the both of them would be under the mistletoe at the same time. And then he would kiss her.

But that obviously wasn’t happening. It had all just been a stupid romantic fantasy of hers. She hadn’t even gotten the invitation past her lips before he had been calling the whole thing dumb. Whatever.

Thinking of Inuyasha had her feeling even more lonely. Christmas was a time to be with those you loved, and...she loved Inuyasha. Sometimes, she thought the same could be said for him about her, but other times she wasn’t so sure. This whole debacle, for instance, was one of those times she honestly thought she was making it all up in her head. The mistletoe would have been a test of sorts, but it was just as well. As much as she couldn’t deny her desire to see him again right away, she needed some time to collect herself. Tomorrow she would swallow her pride and go back through the well.

For today, Kagome found herself drawn to the Sacred Tree. If she wasn’t going to see Inuyasha, then that was the next best thing. It was where it had all started for them, after all. When she had freed him and begun the whole chain of events that had led them to where they were now. And somehow, somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with him. Deeply. Inescapably. And as much as it hurt sometimes, she couldn’t find it in her to regret it.

Walking back outside into the cold and the snow, Kagome made her way to the Sacred Tree. Flurries drifted down from gray skies, landing gently on her cheeks and dusting her hair with white. It occurred to her that she probably should have grabbed a coat, but she couldn’t seem to find the energy or the will to go back inside. Instead, she stood there, staring and replaying all her memories of Inuyasha inside her head. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, her navy blazer doing little to protect her from the intense chill of the air. Time stretched as her mind replayed every moment, every touch, every word that had passed between them. She was a fool. A love-sick fool who should have been more honest and just yelled at the top of her lungs that she wanted him to come with her. But here she was: alone with her pride bruised.

“What are ya doin’ out here in the cold, stupid?”

Kagome blinked, then shook her head. She was so lost in thought about Inuyasha that she was imagining his voice now. “I must be losing it,” she muttered.

“I’ll say. No other explanation for why you’re standin’ out here starin’ into space.”

Eyes widening, Kagome turned to see Inuyasha standing there, arms crossed over his chest. His golden eyes were a mix of concern and irritation. She felt all the breath leave her lungs in surprise. He never came after her so soon, especially not after an argument. She was always the one who ended up having to give in. But not this time, it appeared.

“Inuya--” Her voice broke off as a violent shudder gripped her while fresh tears sprang to her eyes. He was here. She wasn’t going to be alone on Christmas, after all.

“Put that on.”

In the next instant, she felt something heavy and warm being placed over her head, and she instinctively reached up to grab at it. Rapidly blinking to clear her blurred vision from all the unshed tears, she looked from Inuyasha’s haori in her hands to the hanyou standing in front of her. Hot warmth trailed down her cheek as a tear escaped and his ears instantly flattened in distress and agitation.

She didn't want to let him see the evidence of her pity party, though. Slipping the robe of the fire rat over her head and shoulders, Kagome turned away from him in a futile effort to hide her tear-stained face. Hunching her shoulders and clutching at the haori, she hastily wiped at her eyes.

“Why the hell are ya cryin’?”

Ugh. Of course, he had seen. Of course he had noticed. He could probably smell all her emotions; nothing ever got past him.

“I'm not crying. Why are you here?”

She still refused to look his way, and it was beginning to irk him. Inuyasha strode in front of her and she immediately turned around, walking a few steps away. He scowled.

“Ain't it obvious? And I can smell your tears, so don't lie."

"I got something in my eye."

"I just said not to lie."

"Please, it's nothing."

"Hey! Look at me when I'm talkin' to ya."

"I don't want to."

"Wha--? Alright, that's it."

Inuyasha grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. He didn’t know why she was being so cagey but the scent and sight of her tears were making a small part of him panic and he felt the undeniable need to check on her, make sure she was okay, and if not-- fix the issue. Even if, like he suspected, the issue was him. Why was he always such a fucking idiot? Especially when it came to her. His old habits always ended up screwing him over, even three years after she released him from his imprisonment. Inuyasha wasn’t even sure why he resorted to those old ways… Kagome never tried to harm him. Her words about coming back had merely thrown him into guarding his own potentially vulnerable heart.

It was such a typical Inuyasha move, to grab her and spin her around, and yet somehow it still surprised Kagome, so much so that she stumbled backwards and lost her footing. Tumbling back into the snow, she instinctively reached out, grabbing onto the front of his kosode to try and keep herself upright. She failed, and rather than righting herself, she only succeeded in pulling him down with her. A yelp escaped her as the cold snow cushioned her fall while freezing her to the bone.

But she didn’t have any room in her head to think about how cold she suddenly was, not when Inuyasha was sprawled out in the snow with her. No, not with her. He was on top of her and his face was mere inches from hers. He had braced himself with his forearms on either side of her head, one of his legs between her own so he didn’t totally collapse onto her body. She could see her wide-eyed face reflected in his own amber hues amidst the surprise and something that looked a lot like longing swirling within them.

It stole her breath away. Her emotions were a mess, unable to settle on just one. They mixed and bled together until it was almost impossible to differentiate between them all. But everything seemed to just fade away into the background as she laid there, staring into his eyes. They were magnetic and she was completely ensnared. She never wanted to escape. The one feeling that managed to separate itself from all the others was a sharp longing that matched the look in Inuyasha’s own gaze. It pulsed through her, making her heart beat faster.

If it was longing--if she wasn’t mistaken. And she had never wanted to be right about something so badly in her life.

Inuyasha was frozen in place, and it wasn’t because of the chill air. He had been so irritated with Kagome and then in a matter of seconds he was suddenly laying on top of her in the snow with her warm body pressed against his in all the right places. It short-circuited his brain for a moment, and when he was capable of thought again all he could seem to think about was how much he wanted her. How perfect she was. How much of an idiot he was to have driven her away again.

She had the most enticing look of shock on her beautiful face, her long hair splayed all around her in the snow like black ink spilled onto white paper. Her warm brown eyes went half-lidded as she stared back at him wordlessly. All the earlier agitation he had been feeling disappeared and the only thing that mattered in that moment was Kagome.

After loving her for so long, maybe it was time to stop dancing around it and lay it all out in the open.

Every time he had come close to saying anything, he either found a way to avoid it or they got interrupted. Which was just as well. It would have forced him to talk about his feelings, something that he avoided like the fucking plague. It was just easier, considering how often he ended up putting his foot in his mouth. Like now, for instance. But with her lips so close to his, and the scent she was beginning to throw off, she was almost impossible to resist.

Fuck it. He was going for it.

Kagome scarcely dared to breathe as one of his clawed hands came up to rest on her cheek. Was this actually happening? Maybe she had passed out from hypothermia and was hallucinating. But no, his face, only inches away, slowly came ever closer until she swore she could taste his hot breath on her lips.

He was going to kiss her and every part of her yearned for it.

Just as his lips were about to touch hers, a tremor ran through Kagome’s body that had nothing to do with her desire. It started small but that tiny shudder was the crack that broke the dam and suddenly she was shaking violently from how cold she was. The snow she was laying in had soaked through all her clothing and her teeth began to chatter. Not even Inuyasha’s body over her own nor his haori around her shoulders was enough to stave off the chill. Her body had had enough and demanded real warmth.

Immediately, Inuyasha pulled back, cursing himself. In seconds, he was on his feet again and Kagome was in his arms. She clung to him, her body wracked with shivers.

“You’re freezing. Dammit, woman.”

He held her tightly, mentally berating himself. The reason he had come after her was to make up with her and instead he’d almost let her freeze to death. Humans were so damn fragile. He should have forced her to go inside instantly but he’d let himself get carried away. Dumbass. And who knew how long she’d been standing out there in nothing but her school uniform?

Kagome would have responded if she was capable of speech, but her lips felt numb. Instead, she buried her face into his neck as he carried her back inside, out of the snow and cold. The warmth of her home washed over her like a caress and she sighed as the trembling of her body eased a bit. Inuyasha came to an abrupt halt and stood still just beyond the threshold of the front door. Once she could manage words again, Kagome raised her to head to see what had made him stop.

“Inuyasha? What’s wrong?”

Right away, the hanyou noticed how dark and quiet everything was inside her home. Going on alert, he scanned the place with his senses but found nothing amiss. There were also lots of new...decorations in red, green, and white everywhere. Literally everywhere. Those hadn’t been there the last time he’d been on this side of the well. The scent of pine and cinnamon was almost overwhelming, making him wrinkle his nose to hold back a sneeze.

“What’s goin’ on? What’s all this stuff? And that smell?” He would have covered his nose with a sleeve if he’d had a free hand, but he sure as hell wasn’t gonna let go of Kagome.

Kagome gave a laugh, but there was no real humor in it. “Those are Christmas decorations. We really like to go all out. Makes it feel more cheery.” Despite her words, her voice sounded anything but cheerful.

“Yeah? And your family?”

“Oh, them?” Kagome smiled and it was forced. “Apparently they left yesterday when I didn’t make it back home in time. My grandpa won a trip and they couldn’t wait for me. So it’s just little ole me right now.”

Shit. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have been such a jackass. Even if he had been hurt at the thought of Kagome wanting to celebrate it without him...

“You’re blaming yourself, aren’t you?” Kagome said softly, looking up at him.

“I--wha--how did you know?” he sputtered.

“Because I know you. And you’re right, this is your fault.”

“Hey!”

“It’s your fault,” Kagome repeated, “but I’m glad you came after me. At least I get to spend Christmas with one person I care about, now.” She gave him a real smile this time, reaching up with a hand to rest it on his cheek in a loving gesture.

Inuyasha blushed; he didn’t know what to make of that. But one thing was clear-- Kagome was still far too cold. While her shivers had mostly subsided, her skin was icy to the touch. Clearing his throat in embarrassment, he shifted her in his arms and began to walk further into the house.

“Of course I came after ya,” was all he could say.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked, still smiling.

“Upstairs, obviously. You’re still freezin’. Idiot, standin’ outside in the cold like that. Gotta get you into some dry clothes, maybe make you take a hot bath.”

Kagome bit her lip to keep from giggling; this was one of the sides of Inuyasha she loved most. Despite his gruff exterior, he had a big heart. Most people would be turned off by his attitude, but she knew what lay underneath all that bluster. He was such a caretaker, and it was honestly so endearing. Of course he’d want to take her upstairs to...

The stairs. Right. An idea occurred to her.

“Wait,” she said just as he put his foot on the first step. He stopped. “Look up.”

The two of them raised their faces to look at the mistletoe hanging above them. For a long moment, neither of them said anything. He stared at it, and she studied his expression, trying to gauge his reaction. At first he looked confused, then slowly, his golden eyes widened as he connected the dots.

Outside in the snow, he had almost kissed her. He would have if she hadn’t started shaking so uncontrollably from the cold. She was sure of it. And that gave her a little boost of confidence. Patiently, she waited for his gaze to return to hers.

“It’s mistletoe,” she said quietly.

“That’s the plant people kiss under, right?” His voice was low.

“Yes.”

Inuyasha met her eyes again and the question in them melted into heat at whatever he saw in her expression. Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up until their faces were mere inches apart. Her heart was racing, and she could feel the slight shudder in each breath he took. This was it. It was happening.

“Then...you’re sayin’ to--”

Spurred on by that burst of confidence, Kagome leaned forward and kissed him, cutting off the rest of his sentence. He inhaled sharply at the firm press of her lips against his, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he leaned into her and she tilted her head up in response, her body humming happily. The kiss was soft and sweet, with an underlying current of need, and it ended way too soon.

The moment the kiss was over Inuyasha wanted to capture her lips again. And again. He would never get enough of the way her mouth tasted, or the way she smelled when his lips were on hers. It was irresistible and sent desire racing through his veins. The demonic half of him was clamoring for him to push her against the wall and keep going. He breathed harshly.

Fuck. All that from a single kiss.

“Kagome…”

“Inuyasha...I really am glad you’re here.”

She gazed at him, her expression soft and full of…love? God, he hoped so. Nothing could be as perfect as this moment. Except that wasn’t quite true-- there was still one little problem. She’d kissed him and held onto him and was looking at him like he hung the fucking moon in the sky...and yet she’d wanted to spend this oh-so-important holiday away from him. Then when he showed up, she told him that at least she was going to spend it with someone she cared about, that someone being him . It was confusing as fuck.

Words weren’t exactly his strong suit so this had the potential to be a disaster. It might ruin the moment they’d just shared, but dammit it needed to be said.

“I know I wasn't your first option but I'm here. I'll...I'll celebrate your holiday with ya.” There. That sounded okay, right?

“What do you mean 'not my first option?'" Kagome repeated in absolute confusion. The smile on her face dimmed.

"Look, you made it pretty clear this holiday was to be spent with people you care about, but then left me behind,” Inuyasha said defensively.

“Wha--?? I wanted to invite you but you called the whole thing dumb!!” She pulled away a little, giving him a frown. And there went the moment.

“I do think it’s dumb. But it’s obviously important to ya, which means that it matters to me, too. I would have said yes if you had just asked me.”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t such an ass about it; I couldn’t even get the words out!”

Shit. Okay, she had a point there. His ears flattened and he looked away, cheeks reddening a bit. “I know! I’m sorry! I was an idiot, alright? I just...you said you wanted to go home for Christmas but then talked about how it was supposed to be spent with people you cared about!”

“Obviously I wanted to spend it with you, too! I love you, you idiot!” Kagome yelled, smacking his chest with a fist.

Her words hung in the air between them and she gasped. He froze and she went very still. Slowly, he turned his gaze back to her and it was her turn to go completely red. Which she felt was honestly ridiculous. She had just kissed him! So why did this make her feel so much more vulnerable?

“You what?” he finally managed, sounding like he couldn’t quite believe it.

Kagome gathered her courage, becoming acutely aware of every place her body was pressed up against his as he held her close. “I...oh, you have to be the most dense person on the planet to not have noticed.”

“Huh??”

“I’m...I’m not saying it again,” she mumbled stubbornly.

“I just...you really do? A half breed like me?”

“Don’t call yourself that!” she instantly scolded. Then, more softly, “That doesn’t matter to me. That’s never mattered to me. I want you just the way you are, Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha felt something inside him melt at that. Being vulnerable, opening himself up, allowing someone to see the deepest parts of himself...it was unheard of. Until he met her. Gradually, through her loyalty and kindness, she had changed all that. She’d made him believe in trusting someone again. And that trust in her had become something so much bigger than he could have ever imagined. He loved her, dammit. He had for a long time. And she felt the same. It was more than he could have ever hoped for.

“I want you, too, Kagome,” he said. There was so much else he wanted to say but words weren’t one of his strengths, and that wasn’t gonna change any time soon. So he did what felt right.

He kissed her again. Her lips were so soft against his and the tiny sound she made drove him crazy. When they broke apart, he didn’t think any moment in his life had ever felt as perfect as this one right here and right now.

“Um...what does this mean, then?” Kagome said after a long pause. “For us, I mean.”

“It means you’re mine,” he replied without hesitation.

Kagome smiled, her face radiant with happiness. Who knew two words with such magnitude were all she ever wanted to hear. “Good.”

Then the moment was promptly ruined by a sneeze from her. Inuyasha frowned.

“Dry and warm clothes. Now.”

“Okay,” she agreed easily.

A little while later, she was dry and warm and curled up beside Inuyasha on the couch in the living room. They had spent a lot of time just talking. About Naraku, Kikyo, what this meant for them and so many other things. The lights were on, including those on the Christmas tree; they twinkled at her merrily. Maybe this wasn’t the holiday she had originally envisioned but that was okay. In a way it was better than what she had been hoping for. Sitting under the branches of the tree were all the presents, but she was only concerned with one in particular.

Extricating herself from his arms, Kagome rose and went to grab the package in question. Inuyasha looked at her curiously.

“I think I explained this before, but another important tradition of Christmas is giving to those you care about. So...I got you a present.” She stopped in front of him, holding it out. “It’s not much, but here.”

Inuyasha took the gift cautiously, as if fearing it might disappear if he wasn’t careful. “You got somethin’ for me? Is this why you didn’t--this is what you were hiding?”

Sighing, she replied, “Of course you noticed… I’m not surprised. But yeah, this is why I wasn’t as forthcoming and clearly that was all a mistake. Both of us messed up. But, obviously I got you something, stupid. Well, go on. Open it.”

His claws made short work of the wrapping paper, revealing what lay inside. He lifted the long scrap of fabric with a complicated pattern woven into the red and white yarn, and something fell out into his lap.

“It’s a scarf. I had Mama teach me how to knit and made it for you. I know it’s not very practical, but I thought maybe even hanyous get cold. But I wasn’t sure about it, so I also got you the omamori. It’s a good luck charm,” Kagome explained a little nervously. She watched him, holding her breath a little. It was hard to tell what he thought about it.

“You...made this for me?”

“Yeah.”

“No one has ever really done anything like that for me, except my mother,” Inuyasha said, looking at her in surprise. She smiled and took the scarf from him, showing him how to wrap it around his neck. He picked up the omamori and gave a fanged smile, meeting her eyes. “Also, I don’t need this.”

Kagome’s heart sank a little bit at that. “Oh?”

“You’re the only good luck charm I need.”

And just like that her spirits were lifted again. She smiled back at him, happiness bubbling inside her. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I don’t know if I can accept this, though. I didn’t get you anything,” Inuyasha admitted, his ears flattening a bit in distress.

Still smiling, Kagome used her hold on the scarf to pull him in and leaned close, her lips a mere inch from his. “That’s okay. My gift is you.”

And then she kissed him again.

#Inuyasha fanfiction #Inuyasha fanfic #InuKag fanfic #InuKag #My Gift Is You #IYFF BC Secret Santa

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moviegroovies · 5 years

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oh god after last time i really did think i was done but i must have unlocked some new level of hell because here we go, here we go, lost boys hcs PART 3!!!!

so ummmmm michael... is sort of dumb.

like, ok, specifically??? i think he’s got a higher than average emotional intelligence, but he’s just one of those kids who’s bad at school. there’s some hints of this in the movie: when michael is telling sam that he can’t tell lucy about the vampirism thing, sam’s line is that it’s “not like getting a D in school, mike!”, implying that hiding that kind of thing is something the two of them have been over before, and a deleted subplot has him repeatedly insisting to lucy that he’s going to drop out of school to get a job and help her pay for things.

tbh i think he’s got that classic “child of divorce” thing going on. he feels like a burden on sparse resources and can’t stand the thought of wasting his days in school, where he doesn’t even want to be. he wants to help his mom! he gets a job for he so he can do that! what a good, sweet boy!!!

hmmm. dyslexic michael, anyone? like, i was going to say that he was particularly vexed by math & science, but the more i think about it, the more i’m leaning toward him maybe just being disinterested in those subjects, even though they’re the ones he’s better at, while english and history (but particularly english) really piss him off because studying takes so goddamn long.

so he gets like, C+/B- in math and science, consistent C- in history, and wavers C- to D+ or even lower in english.

he’s so polite to his teachers that they help him when they can though, especially because they know he’s trying so hard, but he’s just not entirely gifted at this sort of stuff.

the worst is when he has to keep his grades up to stay eligible for sports--that pressure just makes everything seem so much worse.

i think michael plays some of everything. he’s like, some kind of guard on the football team, not particularly their star player or anything, but i think he’s also got a starter position on the basketball team, and he is the star pitcher on the baseball team.

physical stuff just comes easier to him than academic stuff, you know?

his high school girlfriend was a cheerleader, but they weren’t that serious. she was a kind of preppy girl, a little vapid, and it felt to michael like they only really dated because they were supposed to. breaking up with her kind of led to michael’s attraction to star; he saw her on the boardwalk and she looked like she dressed for herself and she was outwardly enjoying her time at the concert--plus, you know, she’s really pretty.

he hates to admit it, but michael’s favorite classes in school were the home ec classes that his guidance counselor suggested he take. he took shop first, which was okay, but really, what he liked to do the most was the cooking and sewing shit. when he joins the lost boys, he kind of “takes over” these roles from star (who had been pressured into acting the mother for all these assholes who could be her great grandfathers, easily), and it turns out that he’s a lot better at that stuff than she is.

guess he was always kind of training to be david’s bitch after all.

the guys stop ribbing on him once he shows them how he can fix their clothes and shit, though. goddamn assholes.

michael’s main circle of friends in highschool was made up of other jocks, and like with his girlfriend, they weren’t super close. he often got excluded from stuff because he would insist he couldn’t do something or other on account of his mom needing him home that night, or he would get pissed at them for making fun of sam.

michael said family comes first, fuckers!

he did drink and smoke and shit like that back in phoenix when he knew he wouldn’t be missed at home, though. he’s not a goody two shoes, really, he just didn’t want to make things harder than they were for his mom.

one day he did come home drunk, and he’ll never forget how upset lucy looked. he still doesn’t feel like he’s made that up to her. ouch.

one of the guys michael hung out with, probably the closest michael had to a “best friend” was a dude named declan who he’d known since elementary school. declan as the only one of the jock guys who didn’t really hold it against him when he’d skip out on stuff, and the only one he ever even thought about telling the divorce shit to, although in the end, he chickened out of actually doing it.

like i said, they weren’t best friends or anything, but they could have been, y’know?

one of the less nice dudes in his group (probs one michael got in fights with often) started dating michael’s girlfriend about a week after he moved. michael wasn’t really pissed by the time he found out about that; he had way bigger problems to worry about by then.

there was a guy that michael saw around who was kind of a beatnik loner outcast and almost definitely a fag. he liked shakespeare and oscar wilde and probably drew pretty things in the margins of his notebook, and the guys that michael hung out with trashed on him pretty much constantly. michael himself, however, had kind of a thing for the guy: he thought he was cool and would ask when he could to see what he was working on.

you know how michael acted around star at the very beginning of their association? that’s pretty much how he was around this dude. local bi disaster is bi.

the guy (i was going to say fuck it and name him after the guy who i’m sort of basing him on from peggy sue got married, but guess what my fucking luck is, that dude’s name is michael. jfc. let’s call him charlie) thought michael was just there to make fun of him like the others did, but he eventually, he might have come around to trusting that mike really was just interested in his art.

maybe they made out or something before charlie eventually pushed back against him because he didn’t want to get fucking murdered by michael’s friends for making him queer if they got caught

michael always felt like he should have pushed harder to have some sort of relationship with charlie, but once he moves to santa carla, there’s no use in thinking about it anymore.

unlike michael, sam did have a close circle of friends at school, even though he wasn’t as classically “popular” as his brother.

it was probs this reason that made him take the move a lot harder than his brother did.

sam, also unlike michael, was/is really good at school. he’s super skilled at memorizing dates & facts (just look at him rattle off semi-obscure superman trivia lol), and pretty talented at writing to boot. he doesn’t like math as much, but if he works at it, it comes to him pretty quickly.

gifted kid perks™

being that everything came easy to sam, and that he didn’t do any sports like michael did, he had a lot of downtime to read books and comics, keep up w/ pop culture, and hang out with his nerdy friends who liked to do the same. he was even in a d&d group

his character was an elf rogue.

it’s about gay rights

re: sports, it’s not that sam couldn’t be athletic, just that he didn’t ever really want to be. he used to do little league to be like michael and as a concession to his father, but really, he was always put in the outfield, and at the end of the day he would just rather read or watch tv than stand out in the hot sun playing this game he didn’t care about.

when they were little, michael trained himself to get better at reading so that he could read stuff to sam when their parents were fighting or their mom was away. he remembered how his parents (in better times) had read to him, and he knew it made sam feel better, so he put aside his difficulties and discomfort to read to his brother before bed.

the easiest things to read for him were comic books (he had some batmans and supermans and even a few wonder womans, although it wasn’t all superhero stuff. he also had richie rich and, of course, archies), which kind of sparked sam’s love for them--they were something he shared with his brother. <3

i’m thinking sam’s nerd club was the prototypical “mostly boys who never talked to a girl in their lives” type thing, but at the same time i’d like to imagine that at least one of them had a pretty brash (and nerdy) sister who pushed her way into the club, winning their respect by doing what sam did to frog brothers, only with star wars lore.

also, i’m kind of picturing a shy girl from their school who sam takes under his wing when she’s getting bullied, only to find out that she’s really into that stuff too.

she’s part of their d&d campaign; she plays a badass orc barbarian woman and consistently has the best luck with the dice.

the girl is almost definitely a lesbian, but sam asks her to homecoming and stuff like that so that they’ll both have dates; they’re basically each other’s beards.

Gay Rights.

one of the only ways michael could ever really relate to his dad was when they played baseball and the dad taught him Sports™ things, so sam not being at all interested in that stuff made him kind of a disappointment. even still (or maybe for that reason), michael was always the mama’s boy, while sam spent a long time desperate for his dad’s approval.

maybe bc michael and lucy tried really hard to protect him from just how shitty their dad really was, to be honest.

speaking of michael and sam’s dad, i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about him, and now i’ve got Opinions.

contrary to what i guess is the general fandom consensus (at least from what i’ve seen? but my scope might not be that big regarding this character, so if i’m wrong, i’m wrong lol) regarding the dad, i can’t see him being particularly abusive physically.

however, given how sweet and agreeable lucy is, i get a sense that there must have been something REALLY insurmountable in their relationship to make her decide that divorce was the only option. the way i see it, michael and sam’s father started as one of those anti-establishment punks who eventually grew up and just... snapped back the other way entirely to end up as the establishment himself.

main justification for this is that scene w/ michael and star; he doesn’t just refer to his mother being an ex-hippie, he refers to his folks. plus, i mean, there must have been something about the man that endeared him to lucy, right?

so, over the course of their marriage, the guy goes from being a radical dreamer type with maybe some kind punk rock aspirations to being like.... reagan’s “moral majority.”

he starts totally stomping down his old dreams and, in the process, mocking lucy for holding onto anything from their past (you know how she told sam part of the reason she divorced him was that “he never believed in the closet monster”? that was a symptom tbh). i imagine that this, in itself, was soul crushing, but what was really the last straw was when he started in on michael and sam: getting mad and telling michael that he wasn’t going to make it in the MLB and that he had to get his shitty grades up if he wanted to amount to anything (only making him hate school even more lbr), and openly disliking sam’s rejection of sports and stuff in favor of his comic books and MTV.

before the end, i think michael got in a lot of fights with his dad when he’d make passive-aggressive comments at sam for not being enough of a man.

who made you the fucking authority on that, huh?

if he was ever actually physically violent with anyone, it was probably michael during these fights, or mayyyybe even lucy when she’d step in.

eventually, something just tips lucy’s goddamn scales, and she snaps and goes out right then and there to file for divorce. they never saw the point in signing a prenup or anything back then, y’know, so without really fighting for it, lucy wasn’t going to get anything in the divorce.

she doesn’t. they leave arizona with just about the clothes on their backs.

if anyone actually fought against the divorce proceedings, honestly i think it was the dad. he had this idea of his respectable nuclear family, and, even though he was basically an emotionally neglectful POS to his sons, he hated the idea of his wallstreet suit-type coworkers coming to know that his home life was anything less than perfect.

as a last ditch effort, he probably tried to win lucy back at the very last minute, even twisting her arm in an attempt to get her to stay for the boys’ sake, but he clearly no longer knows what attracted her to him in the first place, and the “effort” just makes her sad.

in her mind, she’s already gone by then, you know?

finally, he just ives up and signs the divorce papers. for a hot second it really fucks him up; he goes in to work unshaven and haggard, he’s back to eating like a bachelor, his heart isn’t in what he’s doing. this isn’t about grief over losing his family, though, is the shitty thing. not really. instead, he’s just dealing with uncertainty over how to remake his image.

unfortunately, that’s about as much karma as their dad gets. by the time lucy, sam, and michael are gone for good, he finds it’s easiest to just pretend that they never happened. lucy didn’t demand it, but he sends the occasional bare bones childcare check in the mail and feels like he’s the goddamn father of the year or something, and meanwhile, he remarries a woman that’s both younger and more conservative than lucy, sooner or later fathering a son with her.

lucy isn’t cruel; she doesn’t want the boys to be totally cut off from their father, and even though they both pretty clearly sided with her in the divorce she offers him visitation rights and partial custody (saying that they could stay with him at least every summer and for whatever other holidays he wanted), but he mostly rejects this.

when the boys try to call him to ask, he gives them a noncommittal answer about them maybe visiting next summer, after they’ve all gotten settled in.

they pretty much stop calling after that.

remember how i said michael has an above-average emotional intelligence? he’s definitely the one who helps lucy through the divorce the most. he picks up on the signals she sends about when she needs help and when she needs space, and chides sam for pushing her too hard every now and then.

sam, on the other hand, is definitely a good kid who cares about his mom a lot, but he’s a little more selfish and has a harder time acting like he’s got no problem leaving phoenix for her. the only real fights the two of them get into before all the vampire mess are centered around sam not being sympathetic enough to lucy and michael getting onto him for it.

i think that their dad might end up being a much better father and husband for his new family, and when the eventually visit him long enough to realize this, michael and sam... aren’t sure what to think.

like, they’re glad he’s not repeating the same mistakes he made before, but it’s not fair, is it? to see your little half-brother get the father you always wanted but never got.

their new stepmom is a sweet lady, though. she really does want to try and welcome sam and michael into the family. sam, michael, and their dad all try, but in the end they find it uncomfortable, and the boys know it’s just a facade on all sides to make her happy.

everyone is a little bit relieved when the boys just give up and go back to santa carla.

when michael meets the lost boys (& subsequently learns about dwayne’s past with jasper and, you know, the total boner david has for him, and oh yeah, the fact that these guys are kind of universally gay asf), his only experience with gay shit had been his closeted fumbling with charlie and like, negative stereotypes from media, so he’s kind of amazed by these totally queer dudes who just... take no shit.

like, he gets challenged to a motorcycle race and their leader doesn’t back down at all from the fight michael tries to incite, they take him back to drink and hang out in a semi-nasty man cave. these dudes aren’t what he expects from fags at all (they’re not sissies, and that’s kind of the end of his knowledge about the gay community at that time lol), and he just doesn’t... know what to think about them.

he kind of wants to be them.

like, you know how immediately after seeing them for the first time, michael buys himself a leather jacket and goes to get his ear pierced? there’s a reason for that, babes!

in other news, michael is a cancer and there’s nothing y’all can do about it.

i mean, i have Evidence behind my theory but also i’m just right.

but like, going back to that scene with michael and star again, when he’s introducing himself, you know how he tells her that he was nearly named moonbeam or moonchild or something like that? well, another name for cancers that i’ve seen is moonchildren, after the way cancer is ruled by the moon (and bc the term “cancer” itself has some... other connotations).

in conclusion, lucy really was That Bitch sgdfhghdh

#the lost boys #michael emerson #sam emerson #text post #headcanons #sdfhgh the other ones of these i did i tried to spread shit out between the characters more but here i am #just absolutely MICHAEL POSTING ON MAIN #wait this isn't main #that's alright then #god it's just that. i love him?#also i have no idea where the absolute swarm of ocs that turned up in this post came from but they just kind of... felt right. yknow?#me: gets into the lost boys #me: i hope this doesn't... awaken anything in me

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morphogenetic · 5 years

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why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread

excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.

this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)

(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!! like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)

spoilers below the cut

1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good

they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises

also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.

(also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)

2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but,

b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good.

also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h

(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)

3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game.

(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.

(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point: the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way

like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will

4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself

JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE

#zero escape #am i tagging this? yeah. it needs to be said lmao #999 #9 hours 9 persons 9 doors #nine hours nine persons nine doors #ok to rb #long post #(i mean i put it under a cut but. jic)

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sweetlysilent · 6 years

Text

Secret Santa with the Holland's... (Headcanon)

Requested By: Nobody

Side Note: Since Christmas is approaching I wanted to write something relative to that because for me personally it’s one of my favorite holiday’s. I also thought this could be really fun to write so, I hope you’ll enjoy it just as much. :)

- alRIGHT SO

- Christmas is approaching, it’s one of the most joyful times of the year

- people are getting their trees to decorate in their homes, also decorating the outside of their homes with colorful lights

- and then you know by the end of the day you’re basically brOKE LOL

- rip everyone’s bank accounts in December lmao

- aNYWAYS

- you came up with a brilliant idea this year, it was gOLDEN, 100% best thing ever

- “HELLO BROTHERS I HAVE A SNAZZY IDEA COME GATHER AROUND PLS” You would shout from the kitchen, waiting to hear footsteps.

- “Y/N this better be good I was in the middle of a game!” Sam whined, making you smile and laugh.

- “I second what Sam said, but I was editing a video.” Harry chimed in, now standing beside his brother.

- “Alright we got two of you, where are the other two Holland’s.” You squinted at Sam and Harry who shrugged in response.

- “Y/N, how did you even get into our house? Nobody let you in.” Harry questioned, now realizing you were just randomly in their kitchen.

- “Tom gave me a key.” You laughed, watching as the two boys in front of you nodded in response.

- “Make’s sense, you’re always here anyways.” Sam laughed, making you laugh in response.

- it was true, you were basically always at the Holland’s house

- “TOM, PADDY WHERE ARE YOU GUYS SAM AND HARRY ARE ALREADY DOWN HERE.” You shouted once more, resting your chin on your hands.

- “I’M COMING GOOD LORD.” Tom shouted back, coming down the stairs, Paddy behind him as well.

- “What’s this huge meeting about?” Tom questioned once him and Paddy made it into the kitchen.

- “Well, now that you’re all here, I can finally tell you all my brilliant idea.” You clapped your hands, a bright smile on your face.

- “Does it involve baking? Because I can’t do that.” Paddy questioned, making you smile and his brothers laugh in response.

- “I mean it could if you chose to honestly, but I wouldn’t really advise that.” You laughed, ruffling Paddy’s hair up.

- “ANYWAYS, so, my brilliant idea is that since Christmas is approaching, I thought it’d be so much fun to do Secret Santa!” You clapped excitedly, only to see them not showing the same amount of enjoyment.

- “Secret Santa?” Sam questioned, before glancing at his brothers who also wore the same expression.

- “Have you guys never done Secret Santa?” You asked in pure shock, you loved doing Secret Santa, it made the idea of buying a gift for someone fun and adventurous.

- oKAY BUT FR WHO DOES SECRET SANTA BC IT’S SO FUN

- bUT also rip again to everyone’s bank accounts including mine bc I spend so much money yikessss

- rip money :’((((

- aNYWAYS

- “I mean we decorate our house and get like two trees but we don’t really do ‘Secret Santa’ we normally just get gifts for each other.” Tom explained, making you roll your eyes in response.

- “You guys have never experienced the thrill of Secret Santa, bUT that is going to change! I declare that this year, the Holland family will do Secret Santa!” You cheered, clapping happily as they all sighed but smiled at you anyways.

- “Alright fine, we’ll try it out, and if we like it, maybe it can become a thing.” Harry added, making you even happier than before.

- wOW that took a lot of convincing smh

- soon after, you started explaining how Secret Santa worked, how you were going to draw a name out of a hat and whoever you got you had to get them a gift, but you couldn’t tell anyone who you got or what you got them

- “But what if I need help? I suck at getting people gifts.” Tom whined, making you roll your eyes.

- “You’ll be okay, I promise.” You spoke dramatically, making him glare at you playfully.

- “Okay lets draw names shall we?” You questioned, shaking up the hat that now held slips of paper with all of your names on it.

- the first to go was Paddy, who was eager to see who he would get, he mixed his hand around in the hat, then pulled the slip of paper out

- #Spoiler he got Sam !

- then went Harry who was praying he’d get Tom bc he was easy to get something for

- #Spoiler he didn’t get Tom hahahaahah he got Paddy

- then Sam went, he mixed the hat around, then pulled a slip of paper out

- #Spoiler he got you !!

- then it was Tom’s turn, he was ready to see who he would get, even though there were only like two slips of paper left lol

- #Spoiler he got Harry yeet

- then it came down to you, with the last slip of paper in the hat

- #Spoiler you got Tom ! >:)

- “Alright now that everyone got their person, it’s time to start looking for gifts! This is where to me at least it gets super fun and exciting because people can get really creative with what they get or they can get something super lame, but you won’t know till you open the gift!” You smiled, looking at all of the boys in front of you.

- “Let the games begin, brothers.” Harry grinned, then exited the kitchen, along with everyone else.

- IT WAS SECRET SANTA TIME

- you were currently in a store, trying to find something to get Tom, he was honestly so difficult to shop for ngl

- you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, only to see multiple messages

- yes, you were in a group chat with the lovely Holland brothers

- Tom: WHO HAS ME I WANT TO KNOW

- Harry: THE WHOLE POINT IS TO NOT KNOW YOU IDIOT

- Sam: tHIS IS STRESSING ME OUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET AGKAJSDFKJ

- Paddy: gUYS YOU’RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE SHUT UP

- You: So, how is everyone enjoying Secret Santa so far??? ;)))))

- Tom: Y/N I WANT TO KNOW WHO GOT ME

- Sam: YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW, SUFFER LIKE THE REST OF US BIOTCH

- Paddy: SHOPPING IS SO DIFFICULT GUYS HALP

- Harry: Y/N HOW DOES ONE FIND GIFTS FOR OTHERS

- You: How am I friends with you guys like???? I seriously wonder this everyday

- Tom: UHM BC YOU LOVE US DUH

- Sam: I SECOND WHAT tOM SAID

- Harry: I THIRD THAT STATEMENT

- Paddy: I AGREE TOO

- You: lord, you all are something else, but yeah.. I luv you guys too :)

- You: OKAY GTG I’M BUYING GIFTS FOR WHO I GOT HAHAHAHAH BYE

- Tom: WHAT Y/N WHO DID YOU GET

- Sam: sHIT HOW DO YOU BUY GIFTS,,,, Y/N !!!

- Harry: WE’RE ALL DOOMED

- Paddy: i’m lost

- and with that you locked your phone, a smile on your face as you continued shopping for Tom

- eventually after spending hours looking around you finally found the perfect gift for him

- weeks passed and it was now time to exchange gifts with one another

- aND LET ME TELL YOU, those weeks were complete chaos

- “Alright! Today’s the day, everyone exchange gifts!” You smiled, you were all back in the kitchen holding your gifts.

- Paddy started, he carefully walked over to Sam, before setting his gift in front of him

- “Merry Christmas Sammy.” Paddy smiled, giving his brother a hug, who returned the kind gesture.

- then it was Sam’s turn to go, he hesitantly walked over to you, before setting the gift he got you in front of you

- “I hope you’ll like it.” Sam smiled nervously, making you smile and laugh slightly.

- “Of course I’ll like it you goof.” You laughed, giving him a hug, which he returned.

- then it was your turn, you picked your gift up, before making your way over to Tom, who’s eyes widened when he realized you had gotten him

- “IT WAS YOU THIS WHOLE TIME I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.” Tom shouted, shaking his head, a smile on his face as he hugged you.

- “Surprise!” You laughed, before going back to your spot.

- then it was Tom’s turn, he picked up his gift, before setting it down in front of Harry, who was a bit skeptical but was excited at the same time

- and last but not least it was Harry’s turn, he picked his gift up and walked over to Paddy, placing it in front of him

- “Merry Christmas buddy.” Harry smiled, messing his hair up before walking back over to his spot.

- “oKAY so now that everyone has their gift, how was the Secret Santa experience?” You questioned, a smile on your face as everyone laughed.

- “It was thrilling, but stressful at the same time.” Harry responded, as everyone nodded in agreement.

- “Overall, I think it was really fun.” Tom added on, making everyone nod in agreement once more.

- “I’m glad you guys had fun, but now is the best part! Open your gifts!” You cheered, and before you knew it they were all diving into their presents.

- Tom opened his first, you had gotten him a multi-picture frame and put a lot of his favorite moments in it

- “Y/N, this, this is amazing, thank you.” Tom smiled, his eyes still scanning every picture you had put in it.

- Paddy was next to open his gift, he eager ripped the wrapping paper off to see a video game he had desperately wanted

- “Yes! I’ve been wanting this for months! Thank you Harry!” Paddy cheered, looking at the game in pure happiness.

- Sam was next to go, he tore the wrapping paper off only to see Paddy had gotten him a video game also, but not just one, but two!

- “Aw sweet, thanks Paddy.” Sam grinned, looking over the two games.

- then it was Harry’s turn to open his gift, he removed the wrapping paper only to see a new camera

- “Oh my god, Tom, thank you so much.” Harry spoke, he was blown away, he had needed a new camera for so long.

- then last but not least it was your turn to open your gift, you undid the wrapping paper, Sam was anxious to see if you’d like it or not

- bUT you loved it, he had gotten you a few different things, some lotion, some perfume, a gift card to your favorite restaurant

- “Sam this is amazing, you didn’t have to get me this much, but I love it, thank you so much.” You smiled, making him visibly relax and smile back at you.

- needless to say, everyone loved their gifts and whether they wanted to admit it or not, Secret Santa was a lot better than they expected

Christmas + Secret Santa + The Holland Brothers = A New Yearly Tradition :-))

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escarghosting · 6 years

Text

Hello hello @eli-and-fictional-sons!! Coincidentally, I was also your secret santa for the @vncsecretsanta! Here’s you’re gift; it’s sort of a college au, but there’s hardly any mention if college so *shrugs* I had fun writing it! This is my first fic for vnc so if either of them seem ooc, that’s why lol. Hope you enjoy it! Happy new years!

Title: Love Thy Neighbor

Rating: T, mostly for swearing

Word count: 1536

Summary: Vanitas really doesn’t like his neighbor. Really. No matter how attractive he may be. So why exactly does he agree let him use his shower?

Vanitas really…didn’t like his next door neighbor.

Noe was his name. Ever since the guy moved in, there was always something the other did that pissed them off. It all started when Noe started parking in Vanitas’ spot. No matter how often he yelled at him about it, Noe still managed to park in his spot at least once a week. Things just went downhill from there.

At some point in the past 5 months of living next to each other, Vanitas started going out of his way to piss Noe off; his favorite was playing loud music early in the morning, because Noe was nothing but grumpy without at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, Vanitas was that petty.

But what really peeved Vanitas about Noe is how…perfect he was. When Vanitas wasn’t doing things to annoy him, Noe was actually pretty nice. He gave Vanitas rides sometimes when the weather was too bad to take his bike (although music in the car was another source of tension between them), and he checked up on him often to make sure he was eating and sleeping well, because “no one should look as dead as you do” (which, unsurprisingly, aggravated Vanitas to no end). He was naïve, but it was kind of endearing. Sometimes.

He was also fine as hell, not that Vanitas would ever admit it. Tall, well-built, pretty eyes, and to-the point about everything. Noe might as well be the man of Vanitas’ dreams, and he hated it.

…Okay, maybe he had a teeny tiny crush.

It didn’t matter anyway, nothing would ever come of it. Why would Noe ever like him back? All Vanitas did was purposefully annoy him. Most of their conversations consisted of pointed glares and hardly contained anger, mostly from Vanitas. Noe deserved to be with someone much better than him.

‘Maybe you guys just need to get together, let out that awkward sexual tension. I bet you that’s the reason you’re always so cranky with each other, idiot.’

Vanitas slammed the butter knife down on the counter. Screw Dante and his stupid advice! What did he know anyway? He was just some baldy with as much romance experience as a doormat. That was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now. He stared down at his unfinished peanut butter sandwich. He couldn’t eat now, he was too bitter. Maybe I’ll just take a hot shower and lay down for the night, he thought. It wasn’t even 9:00, but there’s nothing wrong with a little extra sleep, right? In fact, Noe would probably be proud—

Ohhh, no. That thought was going to end right there. Vanitas dragged himself to the bathroom—which wasn’t very far in this tiny apartment—but before he could turn on the faucet, there was a knock at the door.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Who could possibly be knocking at this hour?” Vanitas muttered angrily. He was in no mood to humor anyone for anything. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Vanitas stomped over to the door and flung it open. “This had better be impor—”

Standing in the hallway was none other than Noe himself. He was holding a towel and a hair brush in one arm, dressed in his loose white pajamas. The look on his face was awkward and somewhat...pained?

Vanitas couldn’t stop himself from admiring the other man. The way strands of white hair fell into his face, or how his shirt hugged his broad shoulders...

Stooooooop!

“What do you want? This had better be important, Noe,” he spat.

Noe pursed his lips. “I need to use your shower.”

“…Why can’t you use yours?” At this Noe shuffled his feet, looking anywhere but Vanitas. Was he… embarrassed?

“You see,” he started, “I may have tripped over Murr heading to the shower, and ripped the shower head from the wall trying to catch myself.”

Vanitas just stared. Of course Noe would manage to do something like that.

Thinking it over, he supposed there was no harm in letting him in. Call it payback for all the times Noe’s helped him. It was a little annoying that he’d have to let Noe take one first, but the was no way he was waiting around Vanitas’ apartment until he was done. Besides, this way he could take as long as he wanted.

“I guess,” he sighed, stepping aside to let him in. He swore Noe had stars in his eyes when he thanked him. Weirdo.

Noe stepped in to the apartment, looking around like he’d never been in there before. “Our showers are probably the same,” he said, shutting the door behind him. “So I don’t think I have to help you—hey! Don’t touch that!”

Vanitas was an art student, but since he and Noe weren’t friends, the other had never seen anything Vanitas had made. He had been working on a minimalist human sculpture for a class earlier, and must’ve forgotten to put it away because Noe was about to pick it up good lord.

He grabbed Noe’s arm before he could touch it, glaring at him. “It’s wet! I don’t need you squishing it with your inhuman strength!”

Noe blinked at him. “Oh. Sorry. I’ve never seen someone make something like this before, I wanted to know what it felt like. You’re really good at this!”

So naïve but so cute. Noe was practically sparkling. He didn’t say anything he didn’t mean; he really thought Vanitas’ half-assed sculpture was cool. Vanitas could feel the annoyance drain from him with every second.

“Whatever. Just go take your shower. You have 10 minutes!”

“Sure, but you’re gonna have to let go of me first, Vanitas.”

Vanitas blinked. He was still holding Noe’s arm. And when did they get so close? Vanitas (very calmly, mind you) let go and stepped back, clearing his throat. “Right.”

Noe nodded and headed to the bathroom. “And don’t touch anything you don’t need to!” Vanitas called after him.

As soon as the door shut, Vanitas was on the couch, internally screaming at himself. How could he be more awkward! All he did was grab his arm! Nothing weird about that. It was the first time he’d ever actually touched Noe though, and he was every bit as muscular as he looked, god damn. It would be a while before he’d forget about that discovery.

By the time the ten minutes were up, Vanitas had mostly gotten himself together. Enough to realize the shower was still running. He got up and banged on the bathroom door. “Noe! Come on! You better not use up all my hot water, I swear.”

The shower quickly shut off, followed by scrambled footsteps. ‘Please don’t slip, I don’t need you breaking my shower, too,’ he hoped.

A minute later, the door opened, and Vanitas thought he actually might die that night.

The first thing he noticed was Noe’s hair. He’d never seen it so curly. In hindsight, it only made sense; Noe’s hair shouldn’t have been that straight. He just couldn’t picture Noe using a straightener without severely burning himself. (Then again, no one should have white hair at 19, so could you really blame him?) It was still soaking wet, dripping down into the towel around his neck.

The next thing he noticed was that Noe Archiviste was shirtless and dripping wet in his apartment.

He just couldn’t catch a break, could he.

Vanitas had never been more grateful for his amazing poker face, because if he was, he’d probably look like a firetruck right then. “It’s about time,” he grumbled, pointedly looking away from Noe. He was dense, but there’s no way he wouldn’t notice Vanitas all but drooling over his body.

“Sorry Vanitas, guess I lost track of time.” Vanitas hummed in acknowledgement. Suddenly, his face was in Vanitas’ line of sight. He was carefully studying Vanitas’ face. “What’s wrong? You seem crankier than usual.”

Damn him and his skill for reading people. He refused to meet Noe’s eyes. “Tch. Nothing’s wrong. Can you just put your shirt on and leave so I can go back to enjoying my night?”

Noe stood back up. He could hear the shirt being pulled over his head. “By the way, your shower curtain’s a horrible color. My eyes hurt just looking at it.”

Vanitas whipped his head around to retort because it was a nice shade of blue dammit, but his words died in his throat. Noe had a soft smile on his face, and he was chuckling softly, and Vanitas felt like he might actually melt.

“Thanks for letting me use your shower,” he said as he started driying his hair. “Hey, I know this place that has amazing tarte tatin; you should come with me sometime.” All Vanitas could do was nod and give a soft “sure”. He was only half-listening; he was too focused on the fact that Noe was actually smiling at him.

Noe nodded. “Great. I guess I’ll see you around then?” he didn’t wait for a response before leaving Vanitas star-struck in his own apartment.

‘Wait a minute. Did Noe just ask me out on a date?’

Maybe this night wasn’t as horrible as he thought.

~~~

(A/N: the little shirtless Noe scene was supposed to be more descriptive with more freaking out from Vani, but half way through writing this, I remembered the Shirtless Kylo Ren meme and I had a hell of a time writing that part without dying of laughter i’m sorry

Also I totally threw in my headcanon that Noe has naturally somewhat-curly hair bc come on he’s black for goodness sake)

#vncsecretsanta #vanitas no carte #vnc #eli-and-fictional-sons #apparently i don't know how to keep a fic short these days it was not supposed to be this long #lol #i had so many ideas since you didn't want a specific prompt #but this was the easiest i think #but now i have ideas for MORE vnc fics so thank you #hope you like it!#by me #fic

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lithopsy · 6 years

Text

Real Life Boyfriend

An Orbiting Human Circus high school AU (juliohn)

(Hello! @sonnyofthestars I’m your OHC Secret Santa! I swear I went through 1,000,000 different ideas in trying to write this fic but I finally settled on a high school AU bc those never fail me. also I realized that I don’t really ship juliohn ooops I hope you enjoy this silly little fic!)

Prompt: Yes, there’s a reason you can’t see my played families on The Sims.

“Julian,” Jaques scolded, leaning over to look at Julian’s school-issued computer screen. “You’re going to actually pay attention today, right?”

Julian was sat at the back of the classroom in his Aquatic Science class, his laptop was open like he was prepared to take digital notes. Instead of taking notes, however, he was in the Create-a-Sim screen making a new family in the Sims 4.

“I’ve already studied these notes online.” He didn’t look up from his screen.

Jaques rolled his eyes. He was lying through his teeth.

“Well,” he sighed. “At least make me a Sim in your game while you’re at it.”

Julian nodded, “Will do.”

As the warning bell sounded, John Cameron came strolling through the door and took his seat.

“Hey,” John nodded politely at Julian. “Getting an early start on the assignment, then?” He indicated Julian’s laptop.

“Oh, you know I am!” he lied easily, grinning at John as he took his seat.

As the teacher began her lecture on the Ocean Zones, Julian pretended to listen as he finished choosing outfits for his Sim. His mouse hovered over the Add-a-Sim button. Julian’s Sim needed an attractive husband.

He blushed as his eyes flickered over to John unconsciously. If he could have anyone be his Sim’s husband, it would be John. He was cute and thoughtful and caring. Really John would be the perfect Sim, as he was already the perfect person.

Julian shrugged as he pressed the button to create a new Sim and typed J-O-H-N C-A-M-E-R-O-N in as the Sim’s name. He then realized just how difficult it was to capture all of John’s charming features into a videogame character.

He adjusted the Sim’s jawline, glancing up at John’s to check his work. Then he chose a nose, adjusted the fullness of his cheeks, and began looking through options to find a pair of eyes that matched John’s.

The teacher was lecturing on the Aphotic zones of the ocean by the time Julian was done with the fine adjustments of John’s face.

He began choosing outfits and traits for John’s Sim. He dressed John in smart clothes, dress shirts and nice jeans, much like his own Sim. Traits were not hard to choose. He set John’s aspiration to ‘Knowledge - Renaissance Sim’ because it seemed to Julian that John was good at everything. He chose ‘Genius’ and ‘Good’ as John’s first two traits, but was unsure of a third.

In a moment of self-service, he chose ‘Romantic’.

Jaques looked up from his notes and over at Julian’s screen. He stared at the screen in disbelief before whipping out his phone and typing a message out.

Jaques: Really?

Julian blushed as he typed his reply back.

Julian: my sim needed a husband!

Jaques rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone again before resuming his note-taking.

Julian went to his Sim’s basic information and changed his relationship with John to ‘Husband’. If only…

He decided that he wanted to have a family. He used the ‘Play with Genetics’ feature and created a set of twins, two girls aged up to ‘Kid’. He called them Lisette and Violette Cameron. He also created triplets, two boys and another girl, using this same feature, but left their age at ‘Toddler’. He called them Elias, James, and Melanie Cameron. He was only slightly ashamed of the fact that he already had all these names picked out.

He spent more time thinking about being married to John than he would like to admit.

The bell rung and Julian saved his game before quickly closing his laptop.

“Ready?” he asked Jaques. They had next class together as well so they always walked with each other.

Jaques nodded and followed him out of the classroom, waving goodbye to John as they left.

As soon as they were at a safe distance from the classroom, Jaques turned on Julian.

“You were making John your husband in the Sims?” He said this like he had committed a crime.

“Like I said, my Sim needed a husband.”

Jaques grumbled something about Julian being a creep as they entered their English classroom.

Julian pulled out his laptop again.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to play Sims in this class, too?” he knitted his eyebrows.

“All we’re doing today is catching up on the reading.” Julian clicked on his saved game and began choosing a house for his new family.

Jaques frowned.

“And let me guess…”

“I’ve already done it.”

“Of course.” Jaques pulled out his copy of Pride and Prejudice and began reading.

Julian chose a cute three-bedroom modern house for his Cameron Sims family. He cheated several thousand Simoleons so that he could buy the house and decorate it as he pleased.

He decorated one room with lots of cute yellow and pink things for the three girls, complete with a pink car bed for little Mel. He decorated the adjacent room with orange and blue for the boys. They had matching blue car beds and lots of toys on the floor.

The whole house was decorated perfectly by the end of English class. Julian had chosen a simple gray color scheme, with subtle accents of yellow - John’s favorite color.

In two class periods, he had created a perfect domestic life with John and their five adorable children.

“You have five kids?” Jaques asked, incredulous, as he saw the seven faces at the bottom of the Sims 4 window.

Julian laughed nervously.

“I got carried away…” he closed his laptop again.

“I’d say so.”

“You going to the library for free period still?”

Jaques nodded, taking a turn down the hallway towards the library entrance.

They entered the library and saw that the table they usually sat at to study was taken. John Cameron sat there, squinting at a workbook.

Julian and Jaques shared a look before going over to take the seats at the table across from him.

“Hey,” John smiled broadly.

“Mind if we sit here?” Jaques set his backpack down on the floor next to his seat.

“Not at all!” John held up his workbook. “You can work with me on this if you’d like.”

“Oh, yeah,” Julian opened his laptop. “Let me see, I think my notes are all online.”

Jaques rolled his eyes at Julian’s screen. The Sims was still open.

John raised a questioning eyebrow at Jaques’s expression.

“Why did you roll your eyes?” he asked. “Keeping online copies of notes is actually quite prudent.”

Julian blushed.

“Julian’s always playing the Sims in class when he should be working.” He ignored Julian’s glare.

“Oh!” John grinned. “I love that game!”

“I only play when I’m caught up on my work, thank you very much.” Julian forced a smile in Jaques’s direction.

“Do you have a family you’re playing?” John asked, sounding genuinely interested.

Julian’s eyes widened.

“Oh, um, shouldn’t we do the note thing? Those are due tomorrow!” He quickly realized how bad it would be if John actually wanted to see his family. How would he explain the fact that he had married their Sims to each other?

“I want to see!” John protested. “We have plenty of time!”

“Oh hey, bud,” Jaques clapped Julian on the shoulder. “I gotta split.”

Julian forced a smile. Of course Jaques was leaving him alone now.

“Okay,” he waved. “Bye!”

“Now show me your Sims,” John eyed Julian’s laptop. “I want to see!”

“John.” Julian grimaced. “There is a reason you can’t see my Sim family.”

John frowned. “What reason could there be for that?”

“Because, um, because I’m gay and my Sim has a husband.”

John’s concerned expression melted off of his face.

“Oh!” he laughed. “That’s nothing. I’m gay too, you know.”

“Really?”

“Well, bisexual.” John reached for Julian’s laptop. “Now gimme.”

“No!” Julian’s grip on the laptop tightened. “I…”

“What?”

“Ugh.” Julian pouted. “Fine, just look! But I’ll be in the corner trying to recover from the shame for the rest of my life.”

“Why would you be ashamed?” John turned the laptop towards himself and studied the screen.

His expression, though confused at first, slowly turned into something Julian couldn’t quite place. Recognition, maybe? If he did not know any better, he would say that John’s cheeks were pink.

“You made me your husband?” John laughed.

“Please,” Julian hid his face in his hands. “Spare me the torment.”

“As creepy as this is,” John pushed the laptop back toward Julian. “I’m mostly flattered.”

“Stop.”

“No, really! It’s kinda cute.”

“Stop it!” Julian squeaked. “You’re lying.”

“Never.” John’s voice was soft. “I never lie.”

“That’s a lie.” Julian uncovered his face, though he still refused to make eye contact.

“Well,” John amended. “I’m not lying now.”

Julian closed his laptop and stuck it in his backpack.

“What was that,” John asked. “Five kids? They were super cute.”

“You’re teasing me!”

“Only a little.”

Julian pouted.

“Julian, I am honored to be your Sim husband but…”

“But?”

“But I’d much rather be your real-life boyfriend.”

#Orbiting Human Circus #OHC Secret Santa #Julian the Janitor #John Cameron #high school AU #OHC #podcasts #night vale presents

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sickandvomiting · 6 years

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2017 summary

No one particularly tagged me to do it, though I was mentioned a few times in the different posts and a lot of them were like “do this is you want my guy”. So here I am, bc I am terrible.

January: moved into a new dorm, tried to split my time between three different friend groups. Lost one of them, the other ended up questioning why I was living on their hall. The last one I stayed really close to and it was great. Was very depressed. Hated my body and started only eating one meal a day.

February: Had a birthday. Was originally disappointed bc everyone forgot, but as it turns out they were avoiding the topic bc they wanted to throw me a party. I cried. It was amazing. Slow month, lots of snow. Lots of drunk people. Took care of a few. Was very depressed.

March: Friends visited for spring break. Got snowed in. Had a very stressful drive in a shitty car in a blizzard w/o good headlights. Crocheted a lot. Maybe had a crush on a girl. Maybe didn’t. Had lots of problems sleeping. Stayed away for 80 hours and started hallucinating. Brought my snake to school as a therapy animal. Changed meds. Got really depressed. Found out I’d lost 30 lbs over the course of the year.

April: Dropped classes bc I was struggling to keep my head above water. Had a relapse for the first time in a year. Got mildly dependent on Xanax, and switched to something else. Had trouble sleeping. My friends were always there for me. They are amazing. Felt like my y’all hated me, so spent most of my time away in my friends’ dorm.

May: Didn’t have finals, so I left early. Started summer Calc II to catch up. Teacher was great. Was still depressed. Got my motorcycle license, so that was lit.

June: More Calc II. Holed myself up in the basement, and didn’t really talk to anyone. Started a factory job. They told me I quit a week later after I twisted my ankle. Mom was very angry. I needed the money. I was very angry because I didn’t quit. Did okay on my Calc exams. Wrote a letter to an old piano teacher of mine thanking him for talking to me when I was in 7th grade and lonely and suicidal at summer camp, and for introducing me to the place I currently attend college.

July: MORE Calc II. Did better on my exams. Got a 98% on one. More staying in the basement. Didn’t hear from many friends. Felt as though they’d all forgotten about me. Got suicidal. Didn’t tell anyone.

August: Finished Calc II, with a good grade. Had a sleep study and was officially diagnosed with DSPD and sleep apnea. Found out I’d gained back all the weight I lost. Hated myself. Went through sleep chronotherapy to fix my sleep schedule. It worked. For a bit. Moved back to Uni, found out all my friends were living in separate places. Talked to a few the first week, lost contact with most after that.

September: Started classes. Enjoyed my single room, got to play piano. Relapsed. Relapsed again. Felt like everyone hated me. Hated myself. Started battling the school for an emotional support cat. Sexual assault case blew up at school, went national. Terrible graffiti written everywhere. Classes were harder than anticipated.

October: Hard classes got harder. Went to a frat party, and hated it. Reconnected with some friends from last year, and started hanging out at their place. Relapsed again. And again. And again. Not even relapses anymore. Just back to the regular pattern. Started taking Xanax again, in moderation. No dependency formed. Gained more weight. Had a period that lasted all month. Halloween was fun. Got to go home for a short break. Didn’t want to go back. Started DBT. Had a bad panic attack. Begged for help, saw that people saw and no one came. Felt very alone.

November: Had Friendsgiving. Found out I was failing some classes. Had to drop two again. Got suicidal. Couldn’t really get out of bed for almost two weeks. Sleep schedule got fucked again. Went home for thanksgiving and had fun with friends from high school. I missed them. Went back to school and tried to crack down on work. Not effective. Tried to break the relapse habit. Worked for a bit. Then it didn’t. Almost killed myself. Continued DBT. Won the battle with the school and got my cat.

December: Didn’t do well in my classes. Tried my best, but couldn’t catch up. Exams almost killed me. Lost interest in almost everything. Found some interest in piano again, after exams were over. Had Christmas. It went well, then extended family Christmas did not go so well. Got a new tablet. Still trying to get it to work. Tried to do commissions, but everything looked terrible and I didn’t have the heart to make people pay money for the shit I was putting out. My apologies. I’m sorry that I suck. Received a lovely message back from the teacher from years ago. I have it saved. Watched Guy Fieri for most of New Years. Missed the secret Santa deadline. Hated myself. Found out I’m allergic to penicillin family and sulfa antibiotics on the very last day. Fun stuff.

It was a very down year. There were a few ups, but it was mostly downs. The worst year I’ve had in a long time. Here’s to the new year. May it be a damn sight better than the last one.

Feel free to do this if you want. Most people seem to have been tagged already.

#depression tw #suicide tw #self harm tw #anxiety tw #panic attack tw #g talks #irrelevant #yeah its been one for the record books in terms of stress failure and self loathing #what a fun year

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the-pontiac-bandit · 7 years

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all the way home i’ll be warm

so, thanks to @jakelovesamy for the prompt, and to her and @elsaclack for all of the help!! i’m only including the prompt because it seems important that y’all all know that this started as a creepy cabin drabble. (title is from “let it snow” bc yes i Obviously wrote a christmas fic in mid-june)

99. “We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here.”

Jake Peralta has never enjoyed the outdoors. Sure, that one Cub Scouts camping trip in first grade was pretty fun, but that was mostly because his dad was Assistant Scoutmaster that year, and Jake got to stay up until the sun started to rise, making s’mores with Charlie Daniels and his brother. Adult Jake Peralta prefers snow plows, massage chairs, modern insulation, and easy-access delivery food.

Which makes the fact that he agreed to spend Christmas in a cabin in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York with his new wife’s family a remarkable testament to just how much he loves said new wife.

Of course, the Santiagos are a remarkably awesome bunch of people. Victor warmed up to him - finally - when Jake told the Santiagos about his intentions to marry Amy. He showed them the ring, and Victor decided that anyone who had managed to save up that much money with a credit score below 200 was plenty tenacious enough to be a Santiago. Her brothers, meanwhile, had warmed to him as soon as they learned how much he loved basketball and good cop movies (Luis once told him that there were so many Santiago brothers it wasn’t even that noticeable when they picked up a few extra along the way. Jake had never felt more thrilled to be so entirely a part of something).

Even with all that awesome, being snowed in with all of the Santiagos in an eight-bedroom “cabin” (it’s definitely way too large for that title, and yet still somehow too small for all seven brothers, their spouses, and the kids) for four days over Christmas was not his idea of a dream vacation. Jake has no idea exactly how many nieces and nephews he now has, but he knows that there are at least twenty children that made it to the cabin ranging from scarily-new infants to surly teenagers, and they all call him Tio Jake with an excitement that warms his heart.

That many kids with that few bedrooms, though, means that someone is always sleeping somewhere strange. Usually on the floor. Definitely at a weird time of day. And Jake definitely almost steps on them on his way to the kitchen for more Cheetos (Manny brought a seemingly endless supply - he keeps pulling more from his car every time the boys finish a bag. Jake is eternally grateful).

Amy always seems to know who’s sleeping where (she also knows all of their names, of course, because she’s a perfect aunt who filled up their entire trunk with personalized gifts for each child and all her brothers, leaving Jake with a much better understanding of why they couldn’t afford Paris).

There is a constant hum of noise in the cabin. On the first day, which Jake obnoxiously calls Christmas Eve-Eve to anyone who will listen, everyone is in and out - exploring the nearby town, enjoying the fresh air, playing games of soccer on frozen ground that gives Jake a bruise on his hip when he tries to bicycle kick for the winning point. All in all, a great first day.

Then, that night, the snow starts to fall. At first, it’s some flurries. Just enough snow to be romantic - when it falls, it’s light and fresh, and Jake’s been to the country before, but just rarely enough that seeing fresh, fluffy snow surrounding him is a novelty. The Santiagos, who grew up with a huge backyard and spent their winters rolling around in snow that no dogs had peed in, were less impressed, and thought he was insane for wanting to spend that much time in the woods in the snow at night.

But then Amy walked outside with Jake in her heaviest parka, and they stood together and watched it fall, illuminated by the faded light coming out of the cabin, where the Santiagos were playing the largest game of Apples to Apples he’d ever seen. Everything was perfect, and just a little bit magical, and when he leaned down to kiss her, he could see the snowflakes that had settled on her eyelashes.

Jake is thoroughly enjoying the feel of her lips against his, even if that’s the only skin-to-skin contact available with all the layers, even though the pom pom on top of his hat is slowly pulling the entire garment forward to cover his eyes, but it ends when Amy decides her hands are freezing - even in their wool mittens - and tells him very pointedly that if he likes what her hands were going to do later, he’d best go inside and save them from frostbite. After that, he moves very quickly back towards the fire the Santiagos lit in the living room (carefully guarded by the oldest cousin, college freshman Anna, to prevent any accidental burns to the five year-old twins racing past).

Everything is perfect until the next morning, Christmas Eve, when he wakes up to nearly two feet of snow on the ground outside. Of course nothing is plowed and of course their cars are buried and of course there are somehow now nearly forty people stuck in what used to feel like a very large “cabin” and Jake’s thinking everyone should have just gotten hotel rooms in the city instead, no matter how pretty the untouched snow is.

Jake and Amy are up ridiculously early, thanks to the wails of the baby that radiate from the room they share walls with. Jake gently pushes Amy back to sleep when she starts to get up to go take care of her niece - she never lets herself sleep, and she’s been absolutely exhausted lately. She deserves this.

So Jake finds himself in the kitchen with Luis, Manny, and Joel, sitting in flannel pajama pants and overlarge matching t-shirts (Joel designed Family Reunion 2018 shirts. Jake never wants to take his off). Children are playing quietly around him - all of them are aware that moms, dads, and older siblings are trying to sleep, and they’re Santiagos, so of course they’re complying. Jake’s enjoying his Frosted Flakes (also courtesy of Manny), and reveling in the early morning quiet (at least, compared to Santiagos at full volume), compounded by the thick coat of snow on the ground outside.

It’s Luis who breaks the comfortable silence, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. His daughter Lucia, just barely three months old, is cradled in his arm, and he’s clutching a steaming cup of black coffee for dear life with the other hand.

“Man, thank God she fell back asleep. Sometimes she just won’t stop crying in the mornings, and I can’t exactly take her outside in this weather. Would’ve been a fun wakeup call for everyone.”

Joel shoots a pointed look at his little brother, just fourteen months older than Amy. “But it’s so worth it. I remember when the twins were that little - a handful, but the best gift I could have asked for.” His gaze rests squarely on Jake, looking inquisitive, and Jake squirms a little bit under the intense stare.

Manny jumps in shockingly quickly to support his brother. “Yeah, Sarah and I only got married a year ago, but we’re already talking about it - we just can’t wait to have some of our own. What about you, Jake? Any kids in your future?”

Jake laughs a little, feeling a bit uncomfortable but brushing it off - brothers must talk like this all the time. “Oh, I’d say they’re definitely somewhere down the line, but definitely not anytime soon. There’s a life calendar hanging above our bed that says no kids until Amy’s a lieutenant, at least.”

Luis starts to laugh, but he’s quickly silenced by Joel, nearly thirteen years his senior, elbowing him in the side. He swallows his giggles, looking furtively at Jake, but their new brother-in-law hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary.

They talk about their kids for a while, and Jake explains the elaborate color-coding system that Amy devised to pack for this four-day vacation. Then the boys give Jake, whose past experience with Christmas has been iffy and mostly related to Santa Claus, the lowdown on the innumerable Santiago family Christmas traditions.

The calm lasts until nearly 7:30, when Isabel Santiago emerges from the master bedroom, Victor looking a little sheepish at her heels. Jake had quickly learned at his first family event with the Santiagos that for all his commanding presence, Victor Santiago is constantly a little cowed and a little quiet when his wife is around. Isabel is furious that anyone let her sleep this late when there are grandbabies to feed and snowball fights to be had and children to catch up with. Jake quickly vacates the kitchen, knowing full well that any cooking done in his presence will quickly devolve into spilled batter and (somehow inevitably) explosions.

Back in his room, he decides to brush his teeth and hair and make some pretense to his new family that he’s less messy than this. His toiletries are stored carefully in the bathroom, in a nice case Amy got him to replace the messy gallon-Ziploc that never quite dried that he previously relied on. Everything is perfectly packed, and he knows exactly where it is. But when he tries the door, it’s locked.

“Amy,” he calls softly, not wanting her brothers to hear them through the frustratingly thin walls (seriously, how did Amy do this for eighteen years?).

“Jake? What do you need?” Amy’s voice is terse, barely audible. The shower isn’t running, so Jake decides she must be using the bathroom. He tries the handle again, wondering if it was just stuck, but nope - still locked.

Amy’s voice comes through the door again. “Can it wait, babe?”

He sighs. “Yeah.”

Then two minutes pass. Then three. The toilet never flushes, and he can smell French toast being fried in the kitchen all the way from their tiny bedroom in the back.

“Babe? I just need my toothbrush.”

“Just two more minutes, Jake. Please.” Her voice is tense, stressed, and a little hoarse, and he’s not entirely sure why.

“This is taking forever,” he whines. Then, a pause. “Babe, are you,” he brings his voice down to a whisper, “pooping?”

There’s a cough, then few seconds of silence from inside the bathroom. Then, a relieved sigh. “Yes, Jake. I’m pooping.”

“Amy, I’ve seen you poop before. Let me in.”

“How on earth am I going to do that?”

“Right.”

And he waits patiently until - finally - he hears a toilet flush, and she lets him in. The bathroom smells a little musty, reminding him somehow of their bathroom the week they both had the stomach flu. Her face is a flushed, and her eyes are a bit wild, darting around the way that they do when she’s stressed or anxious. Before he has time to question it or make sure she’s okay, though, he hears Manny call from just inside the door to their room that breakfast is ready and everyone else is eating. Amy replies that they’re coming, so Jake pours some toothpaste in his mouth, swallows quickly, and follows his wife (he’ll never get tired of thinking that) out the door.

All of the Santiagos are gathered around every flat surface in the living area of the cabin, each with a steaming pile of French toast, bacon, and strawberries. All of the weirdness of this morning is forgotten as he plops on the couch next to Luis with his own plate, leaving a corner of the couch for Amy. The pair immediately start discussing the Knicks’ playoff prospects with a few Santiago nephews sitting on the floor nearby (Jake’s pretty sure their names are Robert and Matty, but he can't be entirely sure. Everyone looks alike - those Santiago genes are strong.)

He’s so busy trying to convince his new family that the Knicks will win tomorrow by a full 70 points that he doesn't notice that Amy spends most of the meal taking deep breaths and leaves her French toast, her favorite breakfast, almost entirely untouched.

As soon as the conversation lulls, the sound in the room transitioning from lively conversation to quiet groans of sated contentment, Amy jumps up to start collecting plates. Her mother quickly follows, as she always does. They wave off all help (although not much is offered - everyone is far too full to move) from brothers and spouses, and even from Jake, and mother and daughter bustle off to the kitchen together.

Moms and dads, startled by the sudden lack of a syrup-covered plate in their lap, jolt to alertness, rushing to scrub powdered sugar, syrup, and orange juice off the faces of their children before they can ruin the furniture in the rented cabin. In the midst of the sudden reinstatement of chaos, Joel’s wife Mari stares at Jake, catching and holding his eyes. Then, seemingly unintentionally, her gaze shifts from him to the still-open kitchen door, out of which the clinking sounds of dishware being washed are emerging over the tumult of voices in the living room.

He gets the message (he thinks - that was a pretty weird look) and gets up to help his wife in the kitchen. He’s happy to go help anyway - after all, he has nothing to do to help clean up the plethora of nieces and nephews surrounding him, and he likes to be useful.

He’s stopped dead in his tracks at the door to the kitchen, though. Isabel Santiago is giving him a terrifying glare that is - like Amy’s - eerily reminiscent of that of a middle school librarian. It stops him in his tracks, and somehow, he knows to stay there. But instead of abandoning the room, going back to play with Robert and Matty, the eight year-olds who informed him during breakfast that he’s the coolest uncle they know, he backs away and sneaks behind the door, watching through the crack between the hinges, so that Mrs. Santiago doesn’t know he’s there.

Amy is gesticulating wildly at her mother, clearly frantic. When her hands reach up to start twisting her hair, though, her mom grabs them gently, says something, and pulls her only daughter into a hug. He can’t make out what’s being said over the din of the room behind him, but the cadence sounds distinctly like Spanish, so he knows he wouldn’t be able to follow even if everyone else would just shut up.

He’s relieved, though, to see Amy’s shoulders relax into her mother’s arms. He’s not sure what’s wrong, but clearly her mother has it under control. The sight of Amy’s breath steadying, her hands relaxing, calms him - whatever it is clearly can't be that bad.

And he's right. He’d returned to his room to change out of pajama pants (although this is the perfect kind of day for a pajama-jammy-jam) when Amy walks in, hugging him from behind and pressing her face into his shoulder.

He lets her stay that way for a few seconds, before pulling her arms just loose enough that he can turn around in her grip and properly hug her back. They stay that way, uninterrupted and holding each other close, for far longer than they should be able to, what with every single child in the house barging into their room at all hours to get some one-on-one time with their favorite aunt.

Finally, she pulls back, placing a quick peck on his lips before opening the top drawer of the dresser to find jeans and a sweater (before Amy, Jake didn't even know you could unpack on vacation, so he takes a second to marvel at the fact that he doesn't even have the opportunity to wreck the organization of their shared suitcase).

“So...you're okay?” he asks, a little tentatively.

Her back stiffens when he asks, and she freezes, one pants leg on, the other leg in the air. Then, in just a second, she's back to normal. In a carefully measured voice, she replies, “Yeah, babe, I’m fine. Why wouldn't I be?”

“I saw you talking to your mom, and you looked pretty upset.”

“Oh, that!” she replies, just a little too quickly. “I forgot the present for Mateo, and I didn’t know what to do, but my mom had an extra, so we’re giving him that!”

Jake’s pretty sure that he remembers writing Mateo’s gift tag himself, is almost certain it’s sitting near the side of the pile in their trunk, but he knows better than to argue. If Amy says it’s not there, then it’s definitely not there.

And then they hear Victor calling for them to come help decorate the Christmas tree that Diego drove up from New Jersey for the cabin, so instead of protesting, he grabs her as her head pops through the crew neck of her sweater (her softest one, which makes it by far his favorite) and plants a firm kiss on her lips. She laughs through it, wiggling away and protesting that we can’t do this, Jake, my dad might be coming in!

But then, when they hear her father’s footsteps fade into the background, she turns around and surprises him with a quick kiss before walking off, expecting him to follow. He does, but only after spending a few seconds marveling that the woman walking off with a new bounce in her step and a swing in her shiny ponytail is married to him.

Jake emerges into the crowded living room only a few steps behind his wife to happily discover that most of the younger children have been sent outside to play and release some energy. This means that the living room, while still loud - thanks to the room full of Santiagos, whose grasp of volume control is iffy at best - is full of the hum of polite conversation, rather than the screams of children trying to play tag between the boxes of ornaments, provided by Isabel.

When everyone sees them enter, though, the conversation comes to an abrupt halt. All eyes are trained on Jake and Amy, standing a few feet apart at the front of the room. Isabel starts to get up, takes a deep breath to say something, and then Amy shakes her head. It’s almost imperceptible, and if her ponytail wasn’t quite so bouncy, Jake wouldn’t have seen it at all.

Immediately, conversation resumes, as though nothing had ever happened, leaving Jake to wonder if he was imagining everything. Still standing in front of everyone, he leans in and whispers the question to Amy, who just shrugs in response - as if to say my family’s weird - deal with it.

So he does. He finds Luis sitting and untangling Christmas lights with Alex, their oldest brother. Alex looks up as Jake sits down, and a smile lights up his face as he claps Jake on the back.

“Congratulations, budd--” Alex is cut off abruptly from a sharp elbow from Luis that Jake definitely did not imagine.

Both men are looking at him warily, looking a little nervous for reasons that Jake can’t even begin to parse. They're silent for 10 seconds, and then 10 more, just watching him expectantly.

Then finally, with a relieved sigh, Luis breaks the silence. “Anyway, Jake, wanna give this string a shot? We can't get this knot out to save our lives.”

So Jake takes the lights they hold out for him and gets to work, doing his best to forget about the weird way that Alex had been staring at him.

Thankfully, untangling the lights turns out to be so consuming that he does manage to put his weird morning out of his mind for a little while. He has no idea how lights could have gotten this bad, until Alex explains that his kids used them as a rope for a hostage situation game that summer and put them away themselves. He’s a little impressed, honestly - figuring out how to untangle these lights might be a harder puzzle than any he's managed to solve with the NYPD.

Finally, though, he is able to hand Victor, who is taking meticulous instructions from Isabel about where the lights should be strung, a perfectly untangled strand of Christmas lights to add to the tree. The children are called back in to add ornaments to the now-lit tree (which stands taller than the trees Jake’s managed to squeeze into any of his apartments). The stomping of boots on the front mat sounds like a herd of elephants entering the house, and it lasts for what feels like an eternity as more and more kids traipse through, tracking an unbelievable amount of snow through the living room on their way to put up their coats.

His job done, Jake moves to the couch and squeezes into the impossibly small space left between Amy and the arm of the couch. Amy, laughing at the noises he makes as he tries to force his butt into the few available inches, gets up, settling on his lap as soon as he sits down.

Her head comes to rest against his shoulder as the kids reemerge, loud and ready to decorate. They watch the tree slowly acquire character via the addition of all sorts of ornaments - from fancy gold family heirlooms that only nineteen year-old Anna and her brother Sam can touch, hung high at the top of the tree, to paper drawings strung with yarn that two year-old Eliza drapes proudly on the bottom branches, balancing tentatively on chubby legs.

Amy slowly snuggles closer as they watch the scene unfold, so that her legs are folded on the couch (she may or may not give Luis, sitting next to them and playing with Lucia, a small kick as she pulls them up, just in case he’s done something today to deserve it), and Jake wraps his arms around her. Two of the thirteen year-olds are making faces at them and pretending to vomit in the corner, but Amy just laughs and plants a kiss on Jake’s cheek to bother her nephews.

Jake notices, when the tree is about halfway done and a few of the brothers are getting up to help their kids even out the ornament distribution (Jake has long-since discovered that Amy comes by her OCD honestly), that Isabel Santiago is watching him closely. She seems to have fixated on his arms, draped lazily over his wife’s (her daughter’s) abdomen. He can't read her expression, despite all his years of detective work, but he sits up straighter, trying to match the professionalism of Joel and his wife, sitting in the opposite corner of the room and gently holding hands in separate chairs.

As he shifts, though, Amy groans her objection, nuzzling her face deeper into his chest. That's when he realizes his wife is half-asleep. So instead, he settles back, deciding Mrs. Santiago must have been looking at something else - a quick glance confirms that she’s now talking to Diego’s wife animatedly about Christmas Eve dinner plans.

Finally, the tree is done. Isabel brings out sandwiches for everyone (Jake has no idea when she had time to make them. He’s at least 80% sure his mother-in-law is magical.), and lunch is finished in 10 minutes flat.

By this time, it's mid-afternoon, and there’s just a few hours until Christmas Eve dinner preparation begins in earnest. Matty and Robert beg their fathers for a snowball fight, and they agree eagerly, and before Jake really realizes what happened, everyone is getting up to go find coats and enjoy the hour or two of true daylight remaining.

Jake wakes Amy up (she claims drowsily that she’s been awake the whole time, thank you very much), and as they get up, Manny and Luis wander over to ask if Jake and Amy will be joining. Jake accepts enthusiastically, but Amy shakes her head.

“I don't think a snowball fight is up my alley today,” Amy apologizes with a yawn.

“Right! Because of the--” Manny starts, and then shuts his mouth so hard his teeth clack.

Amy gives him her special death glare, usually reserved for Charles when he starts talking in meticulous detail about her reproductive system.

Luis just laughs and drags Manny away, but Jake doesn't miss the excited hug Manny and Luis exchange when they think they're out of sight. Things are starting to get undeniably weird, Jake decides, furrowing his brow.

Amy is leading Jake back to their room when they find Isabel herself standing in their path. “Amy, could I borrow Jake for a moment? I need help with something, and your brothers are useless.”

Amy tries to glare at her mother, telling her silently to back off. But Isabel glares right back, and all of a sudden, Jake feels like he’s watching Amy look into a trick mirror at a fair - every mannerism is identical.

To no one’s surprise, Isabel wins, and Amy drops Jake’s hand, throwing one last concerned look over her shoulder as she continues to their room. Amy may have her mother’s glare, but her mother has an extra 37 years of practice.

Isabel starts to walk towards the kitchen, perhaps the only empty room in the house, and Jake follows automatically.

When they get there, she closes the door and turns slowly towards Jake. Slowly, carefully, she says, “You know, Amy loves you. A lot.”

Jake, feeling almost as nervous as when he asked them for their blessing to marry Amy, replies with the first dumb quip that comes to mind: “I’d hope so - we've been married for six months now!”

Isabel chuckles a little at that, seeming to loosen up. "I know. And we're all happy to have you as a part of the family," she reaches up touch his shoulder, her expression turning back to something more serious. "I know Amy likes to take care of herself. She's been like that her whole life - she didn't even want our help as a toddler learning to walk, which didn't go down well. There was the whole puddle incident," Isabel gets a far off look in her eyes for a few seconds before focussing back in on Jake, who has a host of questions about the phrase puddle incident. "I know she likes to take care of herself, but you're taking care of her too, right? We all need a little taking care of sometimes."

"Of course! We take care of each other - when she lets me," Jake shrugs, like it's obvious.

"Thank you," Isabel smiles a warm smile. "I knew I could trust you, Jake. I'm just reminded how lucky I am at times like these, that all my babies grew up and made such perfect families themselves. All these grandbabies!" Isabel gestures around as if there are grandbabies escaping from every crevice of the house (in fairness, they definitely are).

"They're all pretty special," Jake agrees, remembering the chorus of Tio Jake. No two words any adult (except for Amy) could say would make his heart feel so full.

"All so unique, and so precious." Isabel adds. And I just wanted to tell you how thrilled we all are that you all could be here with us this Christmas - I know it was hard to get off work, but it’s good for Amy to be with family, especially this year.”

Jake has already started to spew words about how of course they were thrilled to be here and it was never a question that they'd find a way to make it and they love seeing everyone. And then her last words register, and he pauses, his mind swirling as he looks for any explanation for what she might mean.

"What do you mean this year? Is-" he lowers his voice "is someone sick? Does Amy know?"

"No one's sick," she chuckles softly, "but Amy has been feeling a little under the weather. There's a special tea I have, it used to help me when...I mean, it helps with the nausea. I'll get you some to take up to her." Isabel starts for the cupboards, rifling around in the ones above her head. Jake isn't sure she can even see in there.

"Do you need any help?" He offers, but just then Isabel produces a lilac box and nods approvingly at it.

The tea takes five minutes to make, but Jake's distracted for most of it by Matty, who comes in with a hacky sack, which Jake can't say no to. The kid is surprisingly good, and Jake’s out-of-practice, leading to more than one miss and several repetitions of the phrase, “Aw! I boofed it!”

Isabel finally hands Jake a steaming cup of tea, which he carefully starts to carry back to Amy.

"Make sure she's getting enough sleep, too!" Isabel says as Jake starts turn away.

"Uh...I will, I guess?"

She laughs at his confusion, ruffles his hair (she has to reach up on her tip toes to do it), and hands him a cookie (Jake has no idea where she got it, but Isabel always has cookies. Jake loves her dearly for it).

With that, Jake knows he’s been dismissed. He walks out of the kitchen much faster than he should with the tea, carrying the cookie in his mouth.

When he finally navigates his way towards the glorified closet that he and Amy are sharing this Christmas, he throws open the door dramatically, startling Amy, who’s sitting on the bed wrapping a plain white box in red-and-green patterned wrapping paper (Jake remembers her packing the extra wrapping paper over his strenuous objections about the fact that there are no more gifts to wrap and there’s no possible way that she’s forgotten a gift for anyone - she even had one for Alex’s new puppy.)

“Babe,” Jake says frantically, his mouth still full of cookie, “I think your family is trying to kill us!”

“What?” Jake rarely catches Amy off guard anymore - she knows him almost as well as she knows herself. But he can see clearly that he’s surprised her with this.

“D’you think your brothers are still mad at you for that time you busted their party?” Jake is busy running through a list of every possible reason they could be on a Santiago hit list, but he’s discovering the list is pretty short.

“No way - I was nine!”

“Maybe it’s just me! Maybe they know 145 isn't a good credit score! Ames, what if they discovered I don't have a favorite font?”

At that, Amy gets up off the bed and walks over to him. “Babe, they already know that. And you do have a favorite font - it’s the title font from the Die Hard poster, remember? Everything’s totally normal - nothing bad’s gonna happen.”

The statement was clearly supposed to make him relax, and she turns around to find his coat for him so that he can go outside and join in the snowball fight, but Jake isn't satisfied. Then he notices that the peals of laughter he’s hearing are coming from outside, rather than inside, the house, and he realizes that they must be totally alone inside. The knowledge that they're alone in a snowed-in cabin adds an extra sense of eeriness to the afternoon light filtering through the clouds.

“Babe, we’re in an abandoned cabin in the middle of nowhere. Suuure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here.”

Abandoning the search for his coat, Amy grabs him by one hand and drags him back to sit down on the bed with her. “First of all, the cabin isn't abandoned - everyone is, like, ten feet outside the front door. Second, we’re on family vacation - you've been watching way too much true crime if you think someone’s trying to kill us. So what’s bugging you?”

Jake pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath, and then lets everything out in a rush. “Your mom just pulled me aside to make sure I knew to take care of you because you love me and everyone keeps staring at me and Manny congratulated me and I don't know why and you were even being weird about pooping this morning and they’re definitely up to something really freaky, babe!”

And then he’s cut off by Amy’s laughter. She’s fallen backwards on the bed and is clutching her stomach as deep belly laughs escape into the still air of the cabin. Jake just glares at her - he can’t believe she’d be laughing about something this serious! They’re in an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods (she can’t convince him otherwise) and their lives are on the line!

Finally, slowly, Amy catches her breath. When she’s gotten herself under control enough to speak again, she says the last thing he’d ever expect: “Want an early Christmas present?”

In shock, Jake replies, “Babe! Now is not the time for early Christmas presents! Now’s the time to dig out the car!”

“Jake.” She gives him The Look, the one that means that he’s being ridiculous and he needs to stop and listen. “Open the gift.” And she hands him the mostly-wrapped box that has been sitting forgotten on their pillow.

Still uttering half-hearted protests, he tears at the wrapping paper to expose the plain white box inside (what can he say? He’s a sucker for gifts). It looks vaguely like a box a tie might come in, and he looks up at her. “Santiago, clothes aren’t gonna fix the fact that something creepy is definitely coming.”

“Keep opening, Peralta.”

So he does. When he takes off the top, he looks up at her. She waits patiently for him to look down, to actually register what’s inside the box. When he finally does, his jaw drops as some still-unidentified emotion bubbles up in his stomach.

Because lying inside the box is a positive pregnancy test.

“I took it this morning, when you were with Manny and Luis and I’d woken up to throw up again and Mari bought it for me yesterday when they went into town and I was gonna give it to you first thing tomorrow morning but you’re in the middle of a weird...Jake?”

The sound of his name jerks him out of his reverie. Slowly, he looks up at his wife, a grin painted across his face from ear to ear (he’s pretty sure no one could wipe off this grin - not even the still-possibly-murderous Santiagos playing outside). Then, he’s tackling her back into the pillows at the head of the bed, being careful of her abdomen while their laughter mingles and fills the still-silent cabin.

Their legs are tangled and his arms are wrapped around her and her hands are combing through his hair and he’s never felt this disgustingly, blatantly happy in his life. “Santiago...You’re really pregnant?” he asks, awe saturating every word.

She nods in response, a smile growing quickly on her face. “You’re really happy about it?” she asks.

In response, he shifts forward and kisses her firmly. It’s far from their most graceful kiss - their teeth keep clacking because neither of them can stop smiling long enough to kiss the other properly. Jake doesn’t mind, though, because he’s too distracted by the pure, unadulterated joy that’s radiating up from his chest and out through his face and out through his fingers and the very tips of his toes.

Finally he pulls back. “Yeah,” he answers with a laugh. “I guess I’m pretty happy about it.”

She hits his shoulder lightly, rolling her eyes at her dumb husband that she loves so much. And he’s too busy thinking about the fact that Amy’s pregnant and all of the possibilities that that fact brings to even pretend it hurt. Instead, he shifts one hand slightly, gently, so that it comes to rest just over her belly button.

“You know, you can’t feel him kick yet.”

“I know! And him? It’s obviously a girl that we’re obviously naming Nakatomi!”

“Jake, Santiagos have boys. Always. Trust me, this kid is a boy.” She sounds so sure, but he can’t stop himself from giggling (he might never be able to stop giggling because he doesn’t think happiness this strong will ever wear off. It’s pulsing steadily next to his heart, filling him with the same warmth he felt when he saw Amy do the Double Tuck in her white dress as she walked down the aisle).

“Ames, they had you.”

She’s opening her mouth to retort, but the mention of the Santiagos reminds Jake how this whole conversation started in the first place. “Babe, this is all very exciting and everything, but it has nothing to do with why your family was acting so weird. Either you need to explain or we need to get the hell out of this creepy cabin. Something definitely just creaked and we’re the only ones inside!”

“Jake...that was you. You just moved and the bed creaked. And, to answer your other question, my family...might have known.” She sounds a little sheepish, but mostly she just sounds blissfully happy.

Jake looks at her in obviously fake indignation. “Amy! You told your family before you told me?”

“In fairness to me, my mom actually is the one who told me!”

Jake looks at her a little incredulously. “Babe. Come on. You keep track of everything to the hour. There’s no way you didn’t know about this.”

“I’m serious! I was a little late and pretty tired and nauseous, but didn’t think anything of it. My mom took one look at me and pulled me aside and told me. She’s had so many kids she just knows, Jake. Joel and Alex and my dad figured it out on their own, too - they’ve seen my mom have so many kids it takes them, like, half a second to pick out a pregnant woman. Between the four of them, things...got around pretty quickly. They’re all pretty horrible at keeping secrets.”

“No kidding.” Jake thinks back to the millions of weird looks that he’d forced himself to disregard and the dozen weird conversations he’d had since yesterday morning.

“They just get really excited about new grandkids, and they couldn’t wait for you to be excited, too.” Her voice is soft, as is her smile, and her hand has drifted towards his cheek.

“Trust me. I am.” He leans in to kiss her, a proper one this time. And it’s amazing and fireworks are exploding behind his eyelids and he hasn’t been this truly happy in...maybe ever and she’s rolling him over to straddle him and her hands are finding the buttons on his shirt, but then, a small voice is shouting outside their (thankfully closed) door to come outside. With a startled laugh, they break apart, jumping up impressively quickly to seated positions on opposite sides of the bed. Amy shouts back at her niece that they’ll be out in just a sec, and she begins searching for the coats and boots that they’d thrown off so hastily last night while Jake frantically buttons his shirt.

“There’s really no way we can get out of going outside?” Jake asks, a little disappointed.

“Remember when you were so excited for the snowball fight?” Amy retorts, a huge grin cracking across her face.

“Yeah, but now there are better things to do!”

And with that, Amy hands her husband his coat and boots, grabs his hand, and drags him to the front door. They emerge with his arm over her shoulder and her arm around his waist (she’ll say she just needs to be kept warm, but really she just can’t stay away from him). They watch on the side for a while, and at first, everyone leaves them alone (or at least, no one throws snowballs at them).

Jake’s so busy looking down at his wife, who’s positively radiant, that he doesn’t notice the sappy grins being thrown their way by every single adult in the clearing.

They stay that way, blissfully unaware of the screaming children and the happy smiles from Mr. and Mrs. Santiago and the high fives Manny and Luis are throwing each other because their baby sister is having a baby, for quite a while.

And then Joel ruins it. “Ay! Peralta! Stop making eyes at your wife and get in here!” And then a large snowball hits Jake’s face.

Jake roars with laughter as he bends down to start making his own ammo, but he’s slow - certainly unused to the speed at which Santiagos can form snowballs. He’s getting pelted from all sides, and the kids have joined in, and one dumped a pile of snow down his back while he bent down to make another snowball and he’s going down.

And then Amy throws a snowball. It hits Joel square in the face, and he backs up, sputtering. Manny starts to charge, but he’s gotten a heaping pile of snow to the face before he can get anywhere near her (she’d shifted while everyone was distracted, placing herself strategically behind her parents and using them as a human shield that none of her brothers could touch). One by one, the Santiago brothers and their spouses go down, their children getting distracted by the prospect of tackling their own parents into the snow. Jake’s more than a little impressed with her accuracy - now he knows why her aim with a gun is so good.

And then he’s able to stand up, brushing the snow off his jacket and shaking it out of his hair but mostly looking at Amy, who’s all sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks as she gives her dad a high five. And then Victor Santiago is pulling his daughter into the tightest hug Jake’s ever seen and if he’s not mistaken a tear is leaking out of his eye (no - he must be mistaken - that’s definitely just melting snow) and Amy’s laughing a little and he can see her lips moving, reminding them that it’s still early and they’re not even supposed to know, but none of it seems to resonate because then her mom’s joined in the hug and Luis has found Jake watching all of this unfold.

“Congrats, man.” He pulls Jake into a quick hug, clapping him on the back before he releases him.

“Thanks,” Jake says, and he’s surprised to hear his voice crack a little bit on the word.

“Yes! I finally got to say it!” Luis shouts so loudly that Jake falls back down into the snow, startled.

Later that night, after the Christmas Eve dinner that was so amazing Jake may never need to eat again and the midnight mass that they all had to traipse through the snowy woods to get to, Jake and Amy finally get to lie down, limbs tangled as she rests her head against his chest. She’s in her flannel pajama pants and his academy sweatshirt, and he’s wearing her family’s reunion t-shirt, and he’s maybe never been more in love.

His wife is already three-quarters asleep - it’s almost midnight, and pregnancy has made her constantly, painfully exhausted. But through the thin walls, the sounds of her siblings putting out presents from Santa drift in, and he can’t help but smile. He’s pretty sure it’s Luis who stubs his toe and lets out a string of Spanish curses, and he’s guessing it’s Alex who shuts him up so abruptly. He laughs a little bit, quietly, and Amy shifts against him.

“Next year, that’ll be us, babe.”

She grins up at him, her eyes heavy lidded and her hair already a little mussed in its ponytail. “Can’t wait.”

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake x amy #jake peralta #amy santiago #the entire santiago family #literally the entire gang's here #peraltiago fanfic #my writing #ANYWAY YALL #THE CREEPY CABIN AU DRABBLE TURNED INTO A CHRISTMAS PREGNANCY FIC #AND U SHOULD READ IT

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